chapter 3: This is my responsibility


    Siya


    "Now, it''s time for makeup," My mom''s sister Reshma aunty says, showing the bag filled with makeup


    products.


    "No, aunty, you know na, I hate the heaviness and taste of makeup a lot."


    "I am not telling you to eat them, also you have to look like a fairy today, it''s your wedding."


    "So what? Ain''t I am looking fairy enough already?!" I argued.


    "No, you are not, "


    "Aunty-" She interjected me.


    "If you love your aunty you will use them."


    I sighed defeated, "FINE."


    It''s been a couple of weeks since I am preparing myself for this day, I never knew that I am not able to


    choose the man whom I want to marry, no one cares for my opinion, thanks to my sister, she runs away


    because she is a girl and I stuck here at her ce because I am a girl the difference of thin line


    between us is she only thought about herself and I thought about my parents.


    ''By taking her ce.'' My parents responded.


    ''No, Mom, how can I-'' they cut me off, by joining their hands together in the plea.


    ''We beg you, Siya, your sister has already given us enough trouble by running away, she has forgotten


    the promise but we haven''t and it''s very important for our family and its reputation or we won''t able to


    live, happily ever again.'' Dad cried.


    I ran towards them, ''Dad, if it''s that important, I will do as you say.'' My dad isn''t a person who cries for


    nothing but if he is doing then I am sure it''s a big thing and nothinges first to me than their


    happiness. And this my responsibility.


    My blood is boiling only for the fact that I was never aware of the promise that my parents made or...or,


    I sighed, or I must have done nothing even if I knew already especially like Adah. That blind promise is


    going to decide my rest of the life today either dly or sadly.


    "You are looking so pretty now." Reshma aunty spoke as she gives me a sweet smile through the


    mirror, indicating how well my make up has been executed. Since Mom is busy preparing for the


    wedding she hands me to the aunt so she could help me get ready.


    "Maybe."


    "Maybe? I am sure, your husband won''t able to take his eyes off of you." Sanaya, my cousin said,


    teasingly.


    ''Husband?'' that word gave me a strange sensation in my stomach.


    "Who knows, be careful first night could be painful for you." Aunty teased, preventing her naughty


    smile.


    How could I tell them that the pain is already there but in my heart cause of this so-called marriage,


    who knows what life has stored for me?


    "You don''t worry, your husband would be a nice man, who will love you so much for sure, just be


    happy," Sanaya said, reading my face.


    Happy and love from the man I never saw, is the only thing I want right now. I rolled my eyes.


    "No, I am happy just nervous, " I lied.


    She nodded in understanding, "I can understand, but we are here with you." She tried to give me


    confidence as I gave her a ''thank you'' smile.


    Moving my hands around my soft yet heavily embroidered lehenga, I examined myself in the mirror,


    these gold jewelry are matching perfectly with the look, I am holding, that was sent to me by myws. I


    am indeed looking like a royal princess as my hairbed back beautifully with hairpins and flowers.


    As a child, I always dreamt of something like this, and even though, I got it now, I am not happy.


    My phone''s screen shed, showing me a message from Vishal, ''Waiting for your answer ;-)''


    I can''t tell how self-controlled it took me not to broke down reading this, the tears were formed in my


    eyes in the thought that I am going to lie to Vishal and after today, I can never able face him as I used


    to.


    Gulping the lump in my throat, I blocked his number. "I am sorry," I mumbled, looking down at the


    phone in my hand.


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    Just then my mom knocked on the door, "Siya, it''s time."


    I nce at the mirror for thest time, I wrapped the veil around my head and headed downstairs, lifting


    my lehenga a bit up from the front to prevent falling whereas my aunt and Sanaya lifted from the back


    bottom but not much just till it won''te between my walking, a photographer was making the film of


    me, which grew the anxiety more in my body, I sighed in relief when I descended thest step


    sessfully.


    Mom was standing at the end of the stairs, waiting for me to take me to the aisle, "You remember,


    right?" She asks. We slowly start to walk as I replied, "Yes, Mom, If I feel nervous, I just take a deep


    breath."


    She nods, as we left the massive Jodhpuri castle-hotel behind, she leads me to the mandapa that was


    set up outside in the garden amongst the beautiful flowers and butterflies flying around. It surely is one


    of the most expensive big fat ritual weddings in the city.


    Not many but I can reckon that only selected people are invited to this wedding means only family


    members and a few friends that too from my husband''s side, I guess, except for Vishal I had no one to


    call a friend and a few minutes ago, I lost him too.


    Drawing a deep breath, mom sat me in front of the fire pond as I hear the announcement of him


    coming, "Kunwar sa Karan Suryavanshi, is arriving."


    I can sense everyone raised from their chairs in his honor, yet, I didn''t even tilt my head to look behind.


    My body freezes, feeling his presence next to me, I gawk at him from the corner of my eyes, his biceps


    were popping out from his golden sherwani that was settling with a red turban on his head, matching


    perfectly with my clothes, he looks like a typical Rajasthani guy with dark beard and mustache.


    His gazes fall on me as I quickly averted my sights from him to the pandit Ji who was in front of us,


    reading prayers.


    I hope, he didn''t catch me staring at him.


    "Bride should give her hand in the hand of the groom." Pandit Ji told us, feeling a shake inside of me, I


    felt his rough yet cold hands back of my hand.


    "I ain''t going to eat you up." He whispers.


    "Huh?" I responded like a dumb.


    "Your hands are trembling." He exins, silently. I look at my hands, and I couldn''t believe that I am


    trembling this much, "Stop it, it''s irritating." He added with a bit of annoyance.


    "I am sorry but I can''t help." I honestly told him.


    He clutches my hands, tightly, stopping them to tremble as a whine escape from my mouth in pain.


    "Time for sath pheras." Pandit Ji said. Karan stood up before me, and cause my heavy lehenga, jewelry


    it was making it hard for me to stand up. Suddenly, I stepped in my lehenga, I was on the way to fall on


    my face and make myself mortify in front of everyone when I felt strong arms around my waist, helping


    me to bnce on my feet before I fall, I didn''t have to know that it''s Karan who saved me from


    embarrassment.


    "T-Thanks." I stutter, meeting his dark brown orbs, he shook his head in disbelieve.


    "Has I said earlier, I ain''t going to eat you up so stop fetching unwanted stress and make a fool of


    yourself." He whispers in my ears, rudely.


    ****


    Meanings:


    Kunwar sa= Eldest Son of Thakur and second head of the family.


    Pandit Ji= Hindu priest.


    Sath pheras= A Hindu ritual, Seven vows around Fire, that bonds bride and groom for next seven lives


    together.


    Mandapa= Means where marriage is going to happen.