Chapter 35


    "Is it weird not having mom here?"


    "It was weird without you at home," Kendra tells me as she getsfortable underneath the


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    nkets. "I want to be here with you, Isabe."


    "You are here with me."


    The lights in the guest room are dim. I sit beside Kendra, looking down at her beautiful face as she


    fights to keep her eyes open. I shut all the curtains and made sure everything is perfect for her to sleep


    soundly, which included closing the bathroom door. Now that everything is settled, she yawns. "I know.


    But I want to stay here forever, with you."


    "Don''t be silly," I mumble and brush back the dark, stray hairs from her face. "I''ll be just a door away,


    okay?"


    She nods.


    I turn off the remaining light and leave the door cracked open. Today we walked around the pack with


    Caroline—luckily, there was no tree climbing—and Kendra took a liking to her. Caroline is enjoying


    having a little girl in the house, cing her in the role of the younger sister, the one she never had.


    I let go of the guest room door handle and nce to my bedroom doors. I swallow. Part of me wants


    to run downstairs and sleep on the couch, but the other needs to get past this bump in the road. I


    inhale, then exhale, then reluctantly push one of the doors open. The main light is off, and the room is


    lit warmly by the bathroom light as it trickles through the almost closed door. Expecting Eric to be in


    there, my muscles rx, but when I turn to the bed, I spot him sitting on the edge with his head in his


    hands.


    My heart starts up its rapid pace again, the one I just calmed in the hall. His eyes peer up to me, and


    the guilty feeling seeps through my skin. I want to say something, but I am not sure what. Eric looks


    away and I want to fall to the floor.


    My lips part, ready for words. "What I said," I pause, "I just... I didn''t want to hurt you, but I ended up


    hurting you anyways—worse than it would have been." His eyes continue to avoid me. "Eric—just tell


    me what you want me to say and I''ll say it because you''re not listening to what I''m saying. What do you


    what to hear? That I wanted it? Do you truly believe that I did?"


    "Please, Isabe," he mutters, almost asking me to shut it as if I''m giving him a headache.


    "What do you want me to say? I''ve told you that he kissed me, that I made a mistake, that I didn''t ask


    for it. I want to tell you why I didn''t say anything, I really do, but I can''t."


    "What can''t you?"


    All I want is for him to look at me, to see me, to see that I''m trying. "Because I don''t know why. I had


    reasons, that I didn''t want to hurt you, that I didn''t want Lucas'' search to be put off, but none of them


    seem to make sense when I think hard enough. I just—I wanted to pretend like it never happened."


    Eric''s eyes continue to avoid mine, and I can''t take it. "Will you at least look at me when I''m talking to


    you?"


    Eric stands up, turns, and walks towards me, something I did not expect. I watch him with a racing


    heart until hees to a stop, right in front of me. "Better?"


    "I tried to hurt you earlier, and I''m sorry. It was uncalled for. You didn''t believe me and that hurt." His


    intimidating stature towers over me, making me feel small and weak. "I hurt you, you hurt me, why can''t


    we both apologize and have this be over?"


    "Because I did not kiss anyone that isn''t you."


    Shaky breaths leave me as I try and grasp onto my anger, as I try to hold it down. "What do you want


    me to say?" I ask calmly, but it does notst. "I''ve told you over and over again. He kissed me. Alpha


    Kenn kissed me. I didn''t want it. I didn''t ask for it! You''re being a child! Just listen to—"


    "Enough, Isabe," he cuts me off and makes the move to walk away, but I grasp onto him.


    "No, you''re not listening to me, you''re not hearing what I''m saying. Alpha Kenn''s kissed me, I didn''t


    kiss him. He kissed—"


    "Stop saying it," Eric shouts and encloses me against the wall. My chest rapidly rises and falls as he


    cages me in. "I can''t hear it anymore. I can''t stand the thought of you with someone else—and you will


    not stop. The thought of you kissing Alpha Kenn makes me go mad, it makes me want to bring an end


    to the world," he loudly says with clench fists pressed against the wall, ready to bust through. "I can''t


    live without you, Isabe. Don''t you understand that? Don''t you understand that without you life is no


    longer worth living?"


    It is a painful feeling, love. It brings tears to my eyes and makes my stomach clench with fear.


    Eric''s hand unfolds and rests against my cheek, wiping the stray, hot tears from my skin. "Don''t you


    understand?" He says again, softly this time. "You mean everything to me, Isabe. I would do anything


    for you. I would give anything for you. I will kill anything to protect you. You are my life."


    Then, the gentle knock at the door causes my knees to give in. "Isabe?" Kendra''s sweet voice calls


    for me. My head rolls to the door as tears leak from my eyes. "Isabe?"


    I shake my head and cover my face. "Not now," the words so quiet, Eric barely hears them.


    He leaves the room.


    Drifting to the bed, I slowly sit down and uncover my face, clearing the tears from it with my hands.


    Time ceases to exist, then I hear the door open again. Eric walks through and softly closes the door


    behind him. "I brought her back to bed," he tells me. "She heard the shouting—"


    "I love you too, Eric."


    My eyes find his. "Eric, I love you."


    "Say it again."


    "I love you."


    He nears me. "Again."


    "I love you so much it hurts," I tell him, my voice strained.


    "Now never stop, please," he breathes out and pulls me into his embrace. "Never stop."


    "I can''t live without you either, I can hardly breathe without you," I whisper against him, not feeling close


    enough. "I hate being away from you. I hate upsetting you. I don''t want anyone else but you, you''re all I


    want, all I need. It will only ever be you. I want you to mark me."


    Eric gazes down at me, into my eyes. "You''re sure?"


    "Yes, yes I''m sure. I want you to mark me and then make love to me," I bite my lip just thinking about it.


    Our bond will be stronger than ever, we will be closer than ever, and nothing else will matter except our


    love for each other. It sounds like a dream. Like a thick fog being cast over all our problems, and then


    we will no longer see them, our eyes will singly fall upon each other.


    I need to be with him forever. The idea helps my lungs take in air, helps my legs hold me up, helps


    my eyes see clearly, the idea organizes my bustling thoughts. A life with Eric, my Mate, my love, my


    life, nothing sounds more promising and wonderful. I am high on the idea of it, seeing the future and


    forgetting the past.


    "Please, Eric," I murmur. "Mark me."