Chapter 60: chap59
Chap 59
(THERAPIST OFFICE)
''So Sarah did you write those pointers that I told you?'' Ba holds a pen and paper and asked that
with a smile
Theo saw how nervously Sarah took the paper from her bag.
Sarah was not looking him ...like she was afraid and it was disturbing for theo
Ba unfolds the paper and reads it ''hmmm, interesting....ok follow this one by one. Theo ording to
Sarah...she hated the moment when you use to misjudge her not to give the chance to speak to clear
her. Instead of doing that you hit her....so is it true or not and please exin if it is''
Property ? of N?velDrama.Org.
Theo flinched, he clear his throat ''yes it''s true and I''m terribly sorry for those moments''
Ba looked at tense Sarah ''can you highlight some of those moments please''
Sarah closed her eyes like she doesn''t want to go there and Theo felt helpless...he squeezed her hand
that it''s ok to expose his cruelty front of their therapist
Sarah sigh ''there were many... when I met my brother after so many years of my marriage ...he ...he
confronted me so bad...even he felt bad after but it still leaves me in a bad mess but most painful were
when he locked me in the basement room for days, with limited food.... I almost died (Sarah shiver with
the thought) and when we went to Miami he beat me so bad that I was in aa for days and I can''t
even speak for weeks'' Sarah said with a painful deep voice
Theo grab his head ...he remember all...he remembers how bad he was...how he almost lost her ...he
again feels hate and disgust for himself
Ba looked intently at Theo ''theo what you want to say on this''
Theo look so trouble and guilty ''I feel fucking guilty and wanted to kill myself the things I did with
her.....she is right... I did all of these things....those time give me a sense of power and satisfaction but
now I feel like shit....(he then looked at Sarah) I''m sorry baby...so so sorry...i did all this because (he
looks so regretful and in shame) because Sarah was Simon sister..and it was a constant reminder for
me that because of them I lost Tina, which i know I was wrong on that....so not giving Sarah chance to
speak was my way to tell her that your brother didn''t give a chance to my sister than why should I''
Sarah eye filled with tears and she looks away at how this thinking of Theo made her life so difficult
Theo continue ''But whenever I do such things especially when you were in the basement room starving
and when I pped you for meeting your brother was all wrong and ming you for giving interview
behind my back in Miami and with out listening to you I did (he was shameful to even say that
aloud)....so wrong that it made me doubt myself more and disgusted at that time and I''m so sorry'' Theo
cant meet anyone eyes after disclosing this
Ba notes something on her pad ''ok...this was very important to ept your mistakes and you did
great theo. I won''t say that it justifies all but it clear some confusion isn''t it Sarah?''
Sarah holds the water cup tightly and nodes ''some how....but listening it made me hurt more...that''s
why I don''t want toe here....but you force me ''she used theo
Theo pinched his nose and softly and tiredly reply ''im sorry you are hurt but you know it was important
for you''
Even Ba also agree ''Sarah he is right... it''s very important ....you look ok by appearance but
mentally you are still disturbed... I need to get you out of this......and I don''t think you should feel
embarrassed about anything you said here because you know you were not wrong it was theo...even
theo also agree with that.''
Both were quite than Ba raised another question ''ok next question....theo ording to Sarah she
always can understand your hate towards her because your thinking she was involved in tina death but
she wants to know why you hated your daughter Ava....you were not there when she was born even
knowing how difficult Sarah pregnancy was.....and after that you never properly looked at her...why is
that so''
Theo felt ufortable ''i...i ...love my daughter so much...Sarah, you also know that...Ava is my life...
Sarah red him ''i know that...you loved her now but I''m talking about those days when you hated that
I was pregnant with your child. When she was born you still keep that hate for my baby'' she snips
Theo looks down ''cause I don''t want to get attached to her and any other thing that was rted to
you.....you only thing I hate you that time but I also feel so attracted and passionate towards you that it
scared me that my ns to put you behind the bars will bepromised....so that why I keep this
attitude...but I never hated her...i try to but still I cant....she was my flesh and blood how can I, even
when you were gone she reminds me of you....and in order to forget you I was distant to her....but it
didn''t work out...as I fell so much in love with her'' theo sadly smiled
Sarah looks a little stun ''you miss me that''s why?''
Theo looks like her ''yes I do ...it was so frustrating... I mean it was all done...what I wanted for years
finallye true when you were in prison but I was so burdened with something heavy and then you
were all the time in my mind....i knew i was already in love with you but i never acknowledged that'' theo
meant every word
Ba analyze both of their behavior ''shall we move to next question...(after node form both of them)
ok itsst one ..so theo why you y with Sarah emotions and love when you guys were in Miami''
Sarah sucked air ..it was the most difficult thing to write ......she was deeply scarred by this when theo
did that to her
Theo knew he has to be very clear about this but it will make him an unforgiving bastard ''I did that
because I wanted to know how it felt to have an upper hand in love ...how you can manipte
someone that they fall for you so hard and tell everything about them self....i wanted to know that I will
be same pain and inner destruction that a person feels when he knew that person never loved them ''
Sarah gasped even Ba looked confused and stun...theo knew his word can cut fresh wounds
deeply but he doesn''t want to hide it anymore
Ba put the note and down ''Theo why I think its more than your sister death that mold you like
that.....it looks like way before that when Tina was alive....like you suffered something bad and you
want to hurt someone that bad too...am I right?''
Theo was quite...he doesn''t want to answer, but he knew he has to .., the time hase...but he will
look weak....but does it matter now....he is already weak as he hit Sarah for years to look strong.
Ba continue ''theo....is the reason behind your early anger management sses that you have
taken...all those aggressive and violent teenagers fights you used to have....is that reason behind you
still angry on something?''
Theo looks up and felt the gaze of Sarah...who was also desperate for his reply..e on theo
speak...you can do it ...he slowly nodes ''yes, what you said it''s all true....''
Ba said ''what is that thing theo'' she slowly asked
Theo took the ss of water and took a sip ...he controls his breathing ''im....im...been molested when I
was 13 ....it was my tutor'' theo said with closed eyes and in a painful voice.
Sarah put hands on her mouth and gasped in shock.