Chapter 5 Too Sad to Cry


    The look in Marlon’s eyes gradually changed when he stared at me. His eyes became more and more


    obscure. Yet I still staggered my way out of the bathtub towards him and hugged him tightly. “You ask


    for it, Rachael!” He carried me up and kissed my lips hard. My mind became aplete nk, yet the


    despondence and love I felt were still firm and strong. Therefore I did not struggle at all, and was way


    more active and enthusiasticpared to any one time during these four years.


    That was because I liked Marlon very much, no, I loved him deeply. I hated Alicia, and I hated every


    one of her family with all my heart! Therefore, at this moment of time, I had hugged Marlon tight. I


    wanted to gamble whether we had the fate to be together or not. I wanted to keep him by my side with


    this pathetic way. Marlon shot me a cold look and I was so guilty that I could not meet his eyes. The


    vigorous movement had made my mind almost recovered from the effect of alcohol.


    “I’m on period, so that’s fine!” I stared at the cupboard beside me and exined with guilt, deliberately


    squeezing out a cheerful smile. “Rachael, even if you do get pregnant, I still won’t marry you! The one I


    want to marry is Alicia!” Marlon put on his clothes and turned, ready to leave. My smile instantly froze


    on my face. I wanted to smile, but I could not hold that smile any longer.


    Marlon stood beside the door and with his back faced against me said icily, “Rachael, this is myst


    warning to you. Don’t you ever talk nonsense in front of Alicia anymore. And, you and I are done this


    time!” Without even waiting for my reply, he mmed the door shut and left. I stared at the door and


    was actually too sad to cry. It turned out Marlon had cared about Alicia that much. But what about me?


    I had stayed by his side for four years!


    I curled up and buried my face in my knees. Sometimes I truly did not get it. We were all humans, but


    why was I so different to Alicia? Alicia was raised tenderly like a princess since young, whereas I was


    the beggar that lived in the gutter. No matter how hard I pleaded, I could not gain anything, and was


    kicked off instead. But I had not done anything wrong, so did my mother and poor little David. It was


    them. Yet we were the only ones getting punished.


    When my mom married Marvin Cornell back then, he was penniless and was as poor as a church


    mouse. Yet my mother still married him without caring grandpa’s objection. Since the knot had been


    tied, without choice, grandpa handed the family business towards Marvin. He initially expected him to


    live a good life with my mom, but as the business grew after only one year of marriage, he betrayed.


    He cheated with Shania Lambert and they even had a baby, which was Alicia. And, I was just born


    during that time.


    Marvin imed that Shania was his true love and he wanted to divorce my mom. My mom refused.


    Since then, he had openly started a new family outside with Shania and had never returned home for


    eighteen years. Grandpa was so mad about that that his heart attack recurred and he passed away


    with hatred. Upon his demise, Marvin no longer had any concern and he returned, insisted to divorce


    my mom. Yet not only that my mom did not consent, she even had a second baby with him, which was


    David.


    I truly hated my mom. I hated her very much. I did not understand. She had suffered eighteen years of


    humiliation, why did she refuse to divorce but looking for the hard way instead?


    This time, Shania was pregnant as my mom too. Marvin straightly brought her and Alicia back to our


    house. They were living happily together under the same rooftop as us, but my mom was treated as


    their babysitter, while I was treated as a garbage.


    There was only hatred in my heart. Whenever I looked at them, the world seemed cruel and unfair to


    me. There was only hatred in my eyes. I hated Marvin Cornell, I hated Shania Lambert, I hated Alicia


    Cornell, and I hated my mom.


    Therefore, one day, as Shania was walking down the stairs, I gave her a push from behind. Seeing


    fresh blood flowing out from her onto the ground, it was the first time I let out a smile. Shania had


    suffered a miscarriage, and the baby was said to be a boy. It was also said that she could no longer get


    pregnant in the future.


    I was exceptionally happy. I was delighted. Of course, that night, Marvin had tied me up and beat me


    with a stick as thick as a fist. He seemed to not want me to live at all with the strength he used to beat


    me, yet I did not feel pain at all. I was happy.


    Many parts of my bone fractured due to the beating and I was sent to the hospital. My mom stayed by


    my side and she cried madly. She hugged me and with a rough throat kept on saying to me : Rach, I’m


    sorry. It’s mommy being useless. I knew you hate mommy, but mommy can’t divorce him. I would never


    divorce him until the end of this life. Your grandpa has given everything to him. That factory is your


    grandpa’s lifetime hard work. It’s ours, and it belongs to you. If I’ve divorced him, you’ll be left with


    nothing! Nothing!”


    “Mommy can’t let that happen, mommy can’t let you be left with nothing no matter how!”


    I had hated my mom for eighteen years. During these eighteen years, I always thought that it was my


    mother’s personal desire that made me lived in agony, yet it was only after that night, I knew that


    Còntens bel0ngs to N?(v)elDr/a/ma.Org


    Marvin had transferred all of the property and if my mom divorced him, she would not get a single


    share of it.


    My mom was ignorant, and she was not that smart. But she loved me. She was using her own way to


    try getting the things belonged to me. She did not want me to be left with nothing. Yet I had understood


    that toote, and my mom had suffered too much. She had gone through a lot during her lifetime, and


    finally, after giving birth to little David, she jumped off the building and killed herself.


    I would never forget what happened that day, ever.


    In the living room, Shania and Alicia were sitting on the couch, and my mom was cutting Alicia’s


    toenails while almost kneeling down on the ground. Suddenly, Alicia gave a kick straight to my mom’s


    face and yelled, “You’ve hurt me!” Having heard that, Shania gave my mom two ps on the face. It


    was at that time, little David cried. My mom wanted to calm him down but Shania carried him up before


    her and ordered, “Kneel down and apologize to Alice. Or else, I’ll drop this bastard to its death!” My


    mom was reluctant to do so, yet she still consent.


    Shaniained to Marvin when he came in. She used that she only wanted to carry little David


    but my mom refused, and she had even hurt Alicia on purpose when she was cutting her toenails. With


    Alicia crying andining following her mother, Marvin straightly gave my mom a kick without


    saying another word. He only stopped when my mom was severely beaten up.


    My mom crawled her way to the window and jumped off it without any sign. As she jumped, she kept


    on apologizing without letting out a voice. When I returned home from school, what fell before me was


    my mom’s dead body which was smashed into pieces, and there was her pair of resentful eyes.