S I X T Y - T H R E E


    EMERSON.


    "Eva!" I call, attempting to rush after her as I watch her walk through the door, but a sudden grip on my


    wrist stops me and I turn around to see Paige; irritation flowing through me at the sight of her and the


    shit she just pulled.


    "Emerson—" she starts with a shaking voice, and I jerk her hold from my wrist, ring at her as I


    speak, "What the fuck is wrong with you? Why the fuck did you do that?"


    "I–" she starts with a hup. "I''m sorry. I just– I didn''t know what to do. I was there and you were here,


    and I needed you. I needed you to–"


    "You needed me and I was fucking here! I was here, Paige. I was doing all I could to be thefort you


    needed and you thought it was okay to cross the line?" I raise a brow, my breathing out in heavy


    pants and she shakes her head as she attempts to step closer, but one re from me to her leg


    movement stops it.


    She swallows before she opens her mouth, "It wasn''t enough, Emerson. It was never going to be


    enough. I needed more. I needed my skin against yours for me to stop thinking about it. "


    "You''re insane. You''re fucking crazy. " I tell her, turning away from her.


    "She said to not follow. You shouldn''t go after her. " Paige says behind me and I turn to her with an


    angered mind, "You don''t tell me what the fuck I am to do. "


    "I''m not. " She''s quick to say, taking several gulps. "I''m not. Just, please. I don''t know what to do,


    Emery. "


    "Don''t you dare fucking call me that. " I raise a warning finger at her, and she hups again, the sight


    enraging every single time it happens.


    I bury my fingers in my hair and turn away from her, the image of Eva standing by that door with


    bewildered eyes crossing my mind.


    "I should have never let you in. I shouldn''t have fallen for your tears and my need to want to be there. I


    trusted you, Paige. I fucking trusted you!"


    "It''s not my fault. " She dares to say and I look back at her, a scoff falling from my mouth. "Not your


    fault?" I take a step closer. "Not your fault?! My woman was fucking here and she saw everything she


    was afraid of and you dare to stand there, and tell me it''s not your fault?"


    She nods. "Yes, Emery. It''s not my fucking fault! You don''t get me addicted to something and expect


    me to be non-addicted to it just because you say it! Don''t you get it? I can''t stop! I''ve tried but I


    fucking can''t. I''ll always want you that way because you got me used to it. I fucking crave more no


    matter how much you tell me to hold back. Shit went down there and the first person I thought to see


    was you! Because you''ve always been here! You''ve always been this close and you can''t just do this to


    me now. She can''t juste out of nowhere and steal you from me!"


    I lose it at that. Amidst the chaos of my mind, Eva running away from here and Paige standing in front


    of me with the audacity to sprout nonsense; I lose it. And I don''t hold back because I no longer have


    the control to do that. I step closer and grab her by the cor of her top, and her eyes widen as my grip


    tightens.


    "Emerson–" she calls out, with eyes full of fear and voice following right through, but even the sound


    and sight of that isn''t enough to calm me. All that goes through my mind is Eva, all that chants through


    my thoughts is how right she had been about Paige and how stupid I had been to have let ite this


    far. I was so fucking stupid to have thought I could hold onto her, and bnce the rtionship between


    me and a girl who wants more than I can give.


    "Emerson, what are you doing?" Paige utters as my grip gets tighter, so close to strangling her with her


    clothing, but I hold back. Making sure she''s able to breathe through it, but also enough for her to


    understand the message I''m passing across.


    "You''ll leave here, and you''ll never show your face before me ever again. Do you understand?" I tell her


    slowly and she shakes her head furiously, breathing getting heavier as she parts her lips, "No. No,


    please. You can''t do that to me. You can''t tell me to leave. I need you, Emerson. "


    "Do you remember what I said when I came to your ce?" I ask her but she remains silent as she


    continues to shake her head.


    "I told you that I''d be here for you, but the minute you give me a reason to not be is the minute I''ll never


    be again, and you''ve sessfully given me a reason to not be. "


    "No, please. I can''t survive without you, Emerson. You can''t– you can''t do that. You can''t ask me to


    leave. You can''t walk out of my life like everyone else. You promised to always stay. You said you''ll


    always– you said you''ll always be by my side. You can''t just leave now after making me believe those


    words. " Her trembling hands cover mine and she grips them tight.


    "You should have thought of that before you do the shit you did! " I snap, dropping my hand from hers


    and shoving her away from me. She staggers a few steps back, but she manages to catch her feet and


    she''s making her way towards me again.


    She opens her mouth, but I beat her to it as I speak. "I told you she''ll alwayse first. I fucking


    warned you to keep the line that''s drawn between what we had and what we have. Had now, because


    I''m never having anything to do with you after tonight. "


    "No!" She repeats the word that''se to be her anthem for tonight. "No, Emerson. Please. " She cries


    and I watch as she falls to her knees before me, hands sliding around my thighs as she leans her head? N?velDrama.Org - All rights reserved.


    against it with silent sobsing from her. "You''re the only one I have left. You know it. I''ll be miserable


    without you. You can''t do this. Just please. "


    When she raises her head to meet my eyes with wet cheeks and shivering lips; what I should see is a


    girl that''s made herself pathetic by being dependent on me, a girl that I should be there for, but all I see


    is a woman who crossed a line that should never be crossed. A woman who''s about to make me lose


    the only being that matters in my life.


    "She''s my life, " I tell her as I nce down at her. "She''s what I need to be able to breathe probably.


    Without her, I will be nothing but a lifeless living. She''s all I need, Paige and you''re about to make me


    lose that. I''m sorry, but I can''t be here for you any longer. You''ve given me all I need to push away from


    you, and you need to leave. "


    "Emerson, " she calls in a small voice and I turn away from her. "Leave. "


    "We can settle this. I''m sorry for kissing you. I''m sorry for making her see that. I''d apologize to her if I


    need to, but please don''t make me do this. Don''t make me leave. I won''t know where to begin. My life


    would lose all focus without you by my–"


    "Don''t try to guilt trip me, Paige. You were living perfectly before I appeared in your life, and you''ll learn


    to do that once again. People lose their loved ones and learn to move on with their lives, and Ie


    nothing close as that person to you. "


    "No, no you don''t, " she agrees, wrapping her hands tighter around my knees. "Because you mean so


    much more than that, and you know it, Emerson. Don''t make me leave. I''m begging you. Just–" her


    voice breaks and she hits her head against my knees repeatedly. "Don''t. "


    The heart that should ache for her at this moment is filled with Eva. The heart that should think about


    what she went through today is no longer here. That heart only thinks about its owner, and not the


    pitiful woman that kneels by my feet.


    "I''ll give you ten seconds to let go of my legs and leave. If you don''t, I''ll drag you out of here and I


    assure you Paige; you''ll get hurt in the process and I wouldn''t give a fuck about that. " I warn her and I


    mentally count to three seconds before she unwraps her hands from my knees. I don''t look back and


    the sound of her cries with her footsteps echoes across the room.


    Several more seconds and she stands in front of me with her bag in hand.


    "Emerson–" she starts but I cut her off. "Don''t try to. "


    "I''ll be back. I know you''re angry at me right now and you''ll listen better when you''ve calmed. I know


    you—"


    "You don''t know me and you don''t know what I would do. All you know is a guy who wanted to be there


    for you as a friend, but I promise you''ll know the darker side of me if you don''t leave through that door


    and never step foot before me. " My voice is cold and my words are harsh even to my ears, but I''m


    unwilling to give a fuck as Paige staggers back as if I had hit her, before she turns around and strides


    towards the door with small, unsteady steps.


    She stops when she meets the doorknob, and my patience wears thin the more seconds that pass


    without her moving. I open my mouth, but before I can speak; she takes the final step and walk through


    the door, her frame disappearing out of sight.


    I fall back on the couch as I stare across the empty room before I grab my phone, and scroll to her


    name, my fingers moving across the keypad faster than they''ve ever before.


    DIVA: I know you''re mad at me, but please tell me where you are. Come back home to me, and we''ll


    talk this out.


    After hitting the send button, I grab my keys from the table and run out of the house, not giving a shit


    about the fact that she warned me not to follow her. I''ll deal with the consequences of not following her


    warningter if need be, I just yearn to make sure she''s fine.


    I just need to have her back here.


    EVA.


    I keep walking, with no idea of which direction I''m heading, but wanting to continue either way.


    "Sorry. " I mumble when I bump into a hard surface and I raise my head to see Dan staring at me with


    furrowed brows.


    "Eva. What''s wrong?" He asks and I look around, recognizing my surrounding to realize I''m far away


    from home. I look back to Dan, and my eyes shift to the guys that stand by either side of him– Noel


    included.


    "Oh, sorry. I didn''t see you there. " I say and shrug his hands from my shoulders before I take a step


    back.


    I hear him mutter some words to his friends, and they walk away; leaving me with him.


    "Hey. You don''t look so good. Did something happen?" He questions as he takes a step forward.


    I lift my head to him and shake my head. "I''m fine. I''ll be on my way. " I attempt to take a step to the


    side, but Dan''s grip on my arm stops me and I look back at him.


    "I don''t think you''re fine, Eva. You should let me know if anything is wrong. I''m here. " His voice is


    gentle and I drop my gaze to his hold on my arm before I meet his gaze, "Take it off. "


    Dan looks confused for a second, but when he realizes, he''s quick to remove his hand.


    "Sorry, I just wanted to make sure you''re—"


    "I''m fine, and I do not need your help. " I tell him, throwing him another nce before I walk away from


    his sight, finally with a direction in mind.


    I''m only a bit away from Aliya''s dorm and I take the direction that will lead me there.


    I turn my head sideways as I stand in front of Aliya''s door before I ce gentle knocks against it.


    Her voicees through almost instantly. "I thought you weren''ting back tonight. "


    I don''t say a word as I wait for her to open up and when she does, her eyes are full of worry as they


    settle on mine. "Evie? What are you doing here? Did you forget something?"


    "Let me in. "


    Aliya doesn''t say a word as she steps to the side and lets me walk through. When I''m inside, she shuts


    the door behind me and moves to my side, her hand dropping to the small of my back.


    "Are you okay?" She asks and my gaze drifts to the other bed in the room to find it empty.


    "She isn''t in tonight. " Aliya answers my unasked question before she turns my body to her view. Her


    touch moves from my back to my cheeks as she speaks, "Talk to me, Eva. Did something happen?"


    "Can I sleep with you tonight? I don''t want to go back there. " I mumble and confusion masks her


    expression. I can tell she wants to ask questions, but she keeps them to herself and nods instead. "Of


    course, you can. You''re always wee to stay, babe. "


    "Thank you. " I tell her and she smiles, stroking my cheek before she pulls me into her arms, and Iy


    my head against her shoulder as I shut my eyes and try to block the unweed images from my


    mind.


    "Come on. You can stay on Maria''s bed, or will you be alright with mine?" Aliya asks as she leads me


    towards the bed, and I look between the two. "Maria''s is fine. If she doesn''t have anything against it. "


    "She doesn''t. " She assures me, and I stare down at my clothes as I settle on the bed. With a bite of


    my lips, I fall back on the soft mattress and let out a weak sigh as I raise my head to Aliya, who''s


    standing above me.


    "Do you want to talk about it?" She asks as she bends to my level with her hands by my side.


    "Not yet. " I respond and she hums, lifting her hand to caress my hair before she pulls back and moves


    to her bed.


    ~


    I knew it won''t be easy sleeping in an unfamiliar bed with my regr clothes and without a certain


    person by my side, but I didn''t think it would be this hard either. I''ve been turning and tossing in the


    dark for several minutes, yet I can''t seem to catch onto what I need to escape from what I don''t want.


    With a loud sigh, I sit up on the bed and throw my legs to the side as I make my way to Aliya. I turn on


    the lights by her bedside before I gently settle by the edge and her eyes are closed, soft snores leaving


    her barely parted lips.


    "Aliya, " I call, shaking her body gently to wake her and she stirs then turns to the other side, holding


    the duvet over her body.


    "Open your eyes. " I shake her again, and a groanes from her before she turns her body to my


    view, revealing her blue orbs to meet mine.


    "Eva?" Her voice is uncertain and she moves to rest against the headboard, rubbing her hands to her


    eyes.


    "Eva. " She voices out again when her gaze rests on mine and I say, "I''m sorry for waking you. I


    couldn''t sleep. "


    "Come here. " She adjusts and pats the space by her side. I look at the space, then back to her and


    when she blinks once in assurance, I climb over her to take the room.


    She moves the duvet over me and drapes a hand on my shoulder as I press my face to her arm.


    "Do you want to talk about it now?" She asks and I take a while before I open my mouth. "I walked into


    Emerson''s lips on Paige''s. "


    "What?" Aliya''s voice is loud as she ducks her head to meet my eyes. "He kissed her?"


    "She kissed him. " I correct, knowing Emerson didn''t make the move.


    "And he let her?"


    "He pulled away. " I say, the image of that action crossing my mind.


    "So Paige kissed him without his consent and you walked in on him pulling away?" She asks and I nod.


    "Then you left? Though he didn''t do it?"


    "Yes, I did. Because I knew this would happen, but he didn''t listen. We fought over the same issue a


    while ago. I told him how I felt about Paige and him, and he defended her; saying I was overthinking


    things and Paige wouldn''t dare to cross the line. " Augh falls from my mouth at how sure of his words


    he was that night.


    "Weren''t they together once?" Aliya''s question pulls me out of my thoughts and I hum. "It was casual


    sex, but they did it repeatedly, and somehow– Emerson thought they could return to being just friends.


    When I walked in on them, it didn''t hurt because I know he didn''t do it. It hurt because I knew it would


    happen, and Emerson had to make me see that. It hurt because he didn''t listen. His intentions might


    have been good, but they hurt me. He didn''t kiss her, but it just hurt seeing her there. So fucking badly.


    "


    "Oh, Evie, " Aliya coos, her grip tightening around my shoulder. "I''m sure he sees it now. I''m sure he


    regrets it. "


    "That doesn''t make it hurt any less. "


    "I know, babe. I know. But sometimes we''re all just so fucked up, and it has to take something


    happening before we finally admit it to ourselves. Emerson made the mistake of not listening to you


    beforehand and now, he''s paying for that mistake. "


    "She was on the couch. Her lips were on his. Alone in our living room. " The thought of Paige being at


    our ce at that time alone fucking anger me.


    "Shhh, don''t think about it. Don''t talk about it. Don''t make yourself go through that, and you''ll be fine. "


    Aliya says as her hand moves to my head.


    "I shouldn''t have had to see that, Aliya. " I whisper and she pulls back to hold me by my arms.


    "I shouldn''t have. " I say again and she yanks me to her chest, her hand going to the back of my head.


    "You shouldn''t have, and he''s insane for letting it happen. He''lle to understand that. "


    I bury my face in her neck, and wrap my hands around her as I try to let it all out, but the tears don''t


    <pe.