Chapter 158


    My Love My Hatred Chapter 158


    I pulled the needle out of the back of my hand and it started to bleed.


    Igasped for air and said, “You either let me go or you kill me. Or we keep doing this, hurting each other.


    I won‘t forgive you and forget about the past.” I said angrily.


    Lance Mason got up from the bed and walked out the room. I knew he didn‘t want all three of the


    options gave, he just wanted to run away from his problem and tell himself that he still could live


    normally with me, he just kept telling himself that I would forgive him if he started to treat me better.


    The only problem was, was he treating me better?


    He would start to act like the old


    I didn‘t exin to anyone about myplicated rtionship with Lance Mason. I didn‘t exin much


    when other people thought that we were husband and wife.


    It‘s not like I didn‘t want to exin, I was just toozy to exin too much to other people. What would I


    say? Say that he wasn‘t my husband? I was in the gynaecology department because of him, what


    would other people think


    about me if I told them he wasn‘t my husband?


    People would think that I was his mistress. I never wanted to hear the word ‘mistress‘ anymore, I felt


    humiliated.


    I was left in the ward alone after the nurse left. The clicking sound of the clock on the wall made me


    feel so


    lonely.


    People would always look for the person who they rely on most when they are hurt. And the only


    person I rely on was Javier. I grabbed my phone off the nightstand, wanting to see if I could see any


    information about him on social media.


    I told myself that I just wanted to see if he was safe and what he had been doing, I didn‘t want to bother


    his


    life.


    I felt funny that I would rely on a man who is 3 years younger than me.


    llogged in to my WhatsApp and wanted to see what he has been doing recently. A lot of messages


    came in after I logged in to it. They were mostly from Javier and a few from Bosco. I


    wanted to see what Javier had sent me but I backed off, looking at him caring for me would just make


    me feel lonelier


    here, it would just upset me further.


    It would only make me weaker and I didn‘t want to be any weaker at that


    moment.


    But I still opened his messages anyway, he has sent a lot of messages to me. There were also


    voicemails. At first, he would ask how I was doing, did Lance try anything bad to me. And at the end, he


    just asked me to reply to his message and don‘t make him worry.


    He told me that he couldn‘te here to find me and said that someone was trying to stop him from


    doing so.


    He said that he was very worried about me and told me to reply to his message so that he would know


    that I was fine, at the very least. He would feel better if I do so.


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    Even though he couldn‘t do much for me at that moment, all of his caring  words broke me down and I


    couldn‘t contain myself anymore. Tears started to roll down my cheeks and I buried my face in my


    hands, bawling my eyes out for a long time. My fingers were shaking so hard when I typed the


    message, and sent the message out to him.


    ‘I am fine, don‘t worry,‘ I sent.


    He was quick to reply to me and asked me when I would be going back to Germany.


    Seems like he was waiting for my messages every second to see if I would reply.