The frigid mountain air bit at our cheeks as I knelt beside the corpse of a frostbitten snow fox, carefully collecting its blood in a crystalline vial. Rose hovered over my shoulder, her breath forming tiny clouds of curiosity.


    "Why are you hoarding monster blood like some gothic alchemist?" she finally blurted out, her healer''s staff thumping impatiently in the snow.


    I held the vial up to the pale sunlight filtering through glacial peaks. "This, my dear walking pharmacy, is the price of godhood." The crimson liquid swirled with faint golden motes – divine repair fees weren''t cheap. "It''s called Thousand Soul Essence. Needs blood from a thousand different creatures to fix my armor."


    Rose wrinkled her nose at the half-filled flask. "You''re at... four hundred seventy-three now? Why not just drain an entire herd of those ice bears?" She gestured to a shaggy white mound snoring nearby.


    "Variety spices up apocalyptic gear repairs," I quipped, pocketing the vial. My Starfall Ring glinted as I moved – its +7 Luck modifier practically humming with mischief. "Besides, these mountain beasts are just appetizers. The real buffet..."


    A thunderous roar shook icicles from nearby pines. Lucky''s massive obsidian head emerged from a snowdrift, his draconic jaws clamped around a twitching frost wyvern. The 1000-level Void Dragon spat the creature at our feet like a cat presenting a mangled mouse.


    (Lv. 320)


    HP: 0/85,000


    "Showoff," I muttered, though my hands moved automatically to harvest the wyvern''s shimmering blue blood. The vial glowed faintly as the liquid settled – creature #474.


    Rose stared slack-jawed at Lucky''s latest "contribution." Her healer''s staff slipped from numb fingers, embedding itself upright in the snow like some holy artifact. "You... you''ve been traveling with a raid boss this whole time?!"


    Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    "Technically three raid bosses," I corrected, nodding toward Nightshade – my 800-level Nightmare Steed currently using its hellfire breath to roast marshmallows. "But who''s counting?"


    The conversation devolved into chaos as I summoned the full retinue:


    <ul>


    <li>


    Xiao Feng, my 999-level Void Phoenix, materialized in an explosion of shadowflame


    </li>


    <li>


    Nyx, the celestial dragon hatchling, tumbled from a spatial rift chewing on what looked suspiciously like a demigod''s femur


    </li>


    <li>


    Phantom, the incorporeal trickster spirit, decided now was the perfect time to demonstrate possession skills by making Rose perform an impromptu jig


    </li>


    </ul>


    "Make it stop!" Rose shrieked between forced pirouettes, her face flushing crimson beneath the arctic winds. "I''ll never question your life choices again!"


    Phantom released control with a cackle. "Lesson learned: Never underestimate the guy carrying multiple apocalypses in his pocket."


    Our descent from the Frostspire Peaks became equal parts comedy routine and wildlife documentary. By the time we reached the emerald expanse of Wyrmbone Steppe, Rose had:


    <ol start="1">


    <li>


    Been "accidentally" transformed into a polka-dotted yeti (Phantom''s idea of flirting)


    </li>


    <li>


    Discovered my armor''s self-repair function worked better as a portable barbecue


    </li>


    <li>


    Successfully negotiated a peace treaty between warring clans of sentient shrubbery


    </li>


    </ol>


    "Home sweet hell," I murmured as we crested the final ridge. The steppe stretched before us like God''s banquet table – herds of thunderbeasts stampeding alongside crystalline rivers, their hides sparking lightning with every thunderous step.


    Rose gripped my arm, her eyes wide with wonder. "It''s... beautiful."


    Lucky chose that moment to unleash his signature Void Resonance Roar. The ground trembled. Birds fell from the sky. And somewhere in the distance, a chorus of answering bellows shook the very foundations of reality.


    (Lv. 450+) Detected: 23... 47... 89...


    Phantom materialized wearing a spectral chef''s hat. "Dinner''s served, boss. Extra crispy or well-done?"


    I sighed, drawing the cursed Dragonbane Glaive from its interdimensional sheath. "Looks like our blood collection just got... enthusiastic volunteers."


    The first wyrm descended like a frozen comet, its crystalline fangs gleaming with primordial hunger. Rose''s healing magic enveloped us in a golden corona as I charged, the Starfall Ring''s luck modifier bending probability itself.


    Somewhere behind me, Nightshade belched hellfire and Xiao Feng started taking bets.


    Another day in the life of an accidental demigod.