Shapes flowed and colors swirled from behind my closed eyelids. Slowly, the shapes began to dissipate and the color began to dull. My mind emptied as the nothingness took over. My breathing worked in tandem with the sound of candle wicks crackling in the silence. These sounds soon gave way to a dull ring as my mind cut out the noise. Cool air settled onto my skin, adding to my sense of nothingness.


    I sat cross legged in the office that once belonged to the store owner. It was now considered my chambers, though it felt like I was hardly ever here.


    It was typically only used for sleep, or for when I needed a break like today. Meditating helped me stay sane, helped me breathe when times were stressful. I’d learned long ago that if I kept bottling everything up it would all come tumbling down. Usually in an outburst or more likely a breakdown.


    It’d been a while since either had happened, and I wanted to avoid another.


    Hours ticked passed as I sat silently in solitude. Sometimes this was more preferable than the days I was out auditing and managing.


    But alas, they were few and far between.


    “M’lord,” a knock came at the open door.


    I opened my eyes, welcoming the sight of my regent. A smile spread across my face. She stood at the door, black hair pulled back in a ponytail, clothes soaked through with sweat.


    “Kai, you’ve returned.”


    “Indeed.”


    “And your reports?”


    “Ready for your review, m’lord,” she said with a bow.


    I pushed myself to my feet, crossing the room to meet her.


    Kai was my regent, a position that she wasn’t necessarily privy to at first but one she’s grown into quite well. In all honesty regent probably isn’t the exact title she should have, but it’s one that I needed to fill.


    She was my right hand, and due to her title, de-facto leader in my absence. That was the part that she didn’t like, that she would be thrust into that role if I wasn’t here. But I had faith in her.


    The role that she usually fits into is more akin to a bodyguard, but more close to a scout. It’s sort of complicated. She usually stays close to me, providing another pair of eyes and ears. Most people consider her my bodyguard, but she isn’t really, but rather my observer. She helps me keep tabs on people and monitor situations.


    She also slips out every now and then when I need something looked into. As such was the  case this time around. There was a small homely gun store about 6 miles south of town. I had sent Kai out to take a look, after the ashes from the battle of Millhaven had settled, cleanup had wrapped up, and we were fully into a developmental phase. It was time to broaden our horizons, something that I had planned to do without interfering with Wally, but that was out of the question now.


    She stood, holding her written reports, waiting for me to read it over.


    “Thank you Kai, head to the washroom and I’ll take a look at this,” I said, taking the pages from her.


    “But sir-”, she countered.


    “Debrief will happen after you’ve washed up, get to it,” I said, turning on a heel.


    “Of course,” she said, bowing out and heading back downstairs.


    She was an interesting one. No one really knows where she came from, and she hasn’t shared that information with anybody. Some of the adjudicators tried to badger her for answers at one point, but after I put a stop to it they gave up on that front.


    I think she found her way here from Brimley College, from a town that was about 8 miles north of Millhaven. How she managed to get here, or a better question why she came here, is still a mystery. I’ve thought about asking her, but I think that’s part of why she follows me in such a dedicated manner, because I don’t question her. I accepted her for what she could do, and gave her that purpose.


    I think it helps having that mutual respect. She repays my gesture in turn, she’s the one who walked in on me having a breakdown last time. After a firefight where we took heavy losses, against the rising during the battle for Millhaven. I was a wreck, I didn’t know what to do, everything felt like it was falling apart. She was absent when I gave the order to leave me alone in my quarters, or else she would have listened I have no doubt.


    But she came up, finding me curled into a ball on the floor bawling my eyes out. Even so she didn’t say a word, sitting on the floor next to me, her hand on my shoulder. We didn’t speak, but her presence helped me calm down, helped me find my grounding. Once I was finally put together again I went back downstairs, free of any sign of the tears and she was right behind me.


    She’s never once mentioned it to anyone, in fact between the two of us we’d never even talked about what happened.


    I respect that part of her, and as such I’ll repay that in the form of not questioning her of her origins.


    The pages settled on the aged wooden desk. I rolled out the worn desk chair, its cushion still surprisingly plush—a rare luxury these days.”


    I settled in, reading over the lines of meticulous handwriting. All of what we did was handwritten now, after the flares fried the majority of electronics what little we had working was used for special occasions. It was a miracle the radios still worked, or we would really be in the dark ages. It was a stroke of luck, and engineering, that we were still able to power the radios.


    A solar generator that had been contained in a metal box had survived the flare, and after that through some questionable wiring and finagling we were able to connect it to a battery charger where we cycled rechargeable batteries to power the radios.


    There was a lot of fluff, which was usual for Kai’s reports. She described the majority of what she did. That’s also part of why I think she originated from Brimley College, her writing was always done in a manner that just seemed scholarly. Almost like an English major’s writing. Not that it mattered either way.


    She talked about the journey, at one point the chain on her bike came loose and she had to stop to get it back on the track. She spotted some deer running through some of the now barren fields just outside of town. A couple raccoons that were scrounging around a pile of trash on the side of the road.


    She detailed the camp she set up for the night. Simple, a small Dakota fire hole to keep a low profile. She used a simple hammock to sleep in, tied between two trees.  She hadn''t been out very far but I’d sent her just before dusk the day prior so that her absence wouldn’t be noticed.


    She camped just outside the remnants of Findley State Park, about a mile from the store she was traveling to. The night was uneventful, and she continued on once the sun started to rise. A brief tangent about the color of the sky, being golden which reminded her of times before when she’d watch the sunrise with her parents back home.


    Wherever that home may be. I had a guess of Japan, but she had no sign of an accent so maybe she had grown up in the states. Brimley College was known for foreign transfers, so Japan was just one of the ideas I had in mind.


    She had left her bike in the brush about half a mile from the store, in case there was someone waiting there it was easier to approach on foot so as to avoid detection. As it turned out though there was no need, while there were empty food containers and remnants of months old fire pits whoever had previously been there had now fled the area.


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    Evidence of humans having stayed there did not bode well, it meant that the supplies we were in search of were probably looted already.


    Kai detailed how she picked the lock on the door, an interesting turn of events. If it was locked then that meant someone might be coming back for whatever was inside.


    The inside of the building was, as expected, basically picked clean. The array of knives that came in every shape and size, for every various purpose were gone. The firearms that would hang from pegs on the walls had vanished, the handguns that lay side by side in the glass cases were missing. If it had a blade or a trigger, or was made to help you survive in the wilderness, it was gone. As I expected but had hoped against.


    Yet the real purpose of the expedition had proved to remain. On one of the walls sat tubs upon tubs, boxes upon boxes, of the very lifeblood of any apocalyptic world. Tubs full of powders, boxes full of casings and shells. The materials we needed to make our own bullets, and there was a lot of it.


    I pumped my fist in the air at the revelation, beaming quietly to myself. We needed those supplies, and we needed them now, before they were taken by someone else.


    We had the equipment to load rounds, as Millhaven was a relatively conservative area there were plenty of folks that reloaded their own rounds, we had equipment for all of the commonly used rounds and even a few specialty sizes. But we had run out of the powder months ago. Occasionally a scout would find some in a house, but it wouldn’t net us many rounds. This would buy us quite a bit, and we were going to need them if Wally was rearing up for a fight.


    I grabbed the radio from my hip, switching to the Scout teams channel.


    “This is Crown, Eagle, private line,” I spoke, the radio beeping with the press and release.


    I switched  channels, waiting for Patricks callback.


    “Go for Eagle,” he said.


    “I need you to get together a scout team, no more than 10, rucksacks and duffel bags. Chet and Frans, the little outdoors shop just south of town, I’ve got intel that they have casing and gunpowder still there. We need those materials. Once morning strikes you’re on the road, maybe need a trailer for the casings, be quick but efficient. Anything else you can fit; tools, rifle bodies, cleaning kits, bring it back with you.”


    “Copy, Eagle out,” the radio crackled back.


    Reading further down the report revealed that there were some rifle uppers and lowers still remaining. On their own they weren’t worth much, but we could use them to replace some damaged ones still in use.


    The rest of the report consisted of Kai’s trip back to The Castle, again nothing of real importance happened but I made sure to read every line. A trick I learned was to reference those later lines, the ones that didn’t have any real purpose. Kai liked that I read her writings, she appreciated when I mentioned things that she’d written, it made her feel heard. At least that was my guess.


    It wasn’t just for her though, I used to be an avid reader, and Kai’s reports were always so much more enjoyable than the others. It was also useful to know the ins and outs of how people thought, and writings were a perfect window into that.


    I stood from the desk, moving to the window of one way glass that looked out into the store. I didn’t check it often, I didn’t like watching people that much. But I looked out into the half of the store that was visible from my vantage point.


    People milled about, settling into cots that were sectioned off by sheets. The setting wasn’t ideal, but it was safe. There were plans to expand to some of the nearby houses, the dealership next down had a plethora of housing in it as a matter of fact. There were campers positioned in the parking lot that acted as team houses for higher ranking members of the Sanctum. Scout teams, Enforcers, and scavenging teams filled the majority of them. Most of the people I looked out over were lower than that; gardeners, organizers, sorters, laborers. Each had value—and I did my best to make sure they knew it.


    The old off campus office building that used to belong to one of the local community colleges had been transformed into an apartment style building for families to stay in. We’d just started moving families over there about a month back, we had a couple enforcers stationed there to act as guards to ensure no one got too rowdy during the transition.


    “M’lord,” Kai said from the door.


    I turned to greet her, a welcoming smile on my face. Her hair was wet, and loose falling onto her shoulders. Her clothes were fresh, the slightly acidic scent of the ashwood lye that was used as a soap nowadays.


    “Yes, Kai. That was fast,” I commented.


    “Indeed,” she said with a bow.


    I turned back to the window, and she joined me.


    “Thank you for everything you do for me. I’ve dispatched Patrick and some scavenge teams to retrieve the supplies detailed in your report. I must thank you for your work these last couple days. Without you we wouldn’t know of these life saving supplies.”


    “Of course, it is my duty as your regent.”


    I studied her out of the corner of my eye, she was one of the most confusing individuals I’d brought into the Sanctum. Why was she so keen on following me? Why was she so devoted? And why was she always so formal?


    I had to admit, the whole lord thing was kind of odd when it began, an idea that originated from Gabriel as a form of instilling a hierarchy. It was really just a formal title, though the masses were slowly starting to adapt and calling me as such. Kai however didn’t hesitate and dove headfirst into the whole idea. I don’t think there’s been a single time where she hasn’t addressed me as her lord since it all started.


    “I don’t have much for your debrief today, have you heard of the new developments from the day?” I asked, knowing that she most likely had.


    She didn’t ask others about happenings, but she listened. I had an inkling that she had overheard the story of what transpired with Rhea, and the conflict that would surely rise with Wally.


    “I have, yes.”


    “Any thoughts?” I asked, curious to know what she thought about the whole thing. Her input was important to me, she always looked at things very logically.


    She glanced at me, thinking about what to say.


    “Speak freely Kai.”


    Her posture shifted ever so slightly, and her eyes softened just a tad, “Very well. I fear this may have been a mistake. I do not think we are prepared for an assault from Wally. Though I understand the moral dilemma and believe we are morally in the right, I do not think it best to continue to harbor this Rhea.”


    I nodded along, knowing she was right. I remained silent for just a moment before letting out a sigh.


    “My apologies, I did not mean-” she started.


    I held my hand up to quiet her.


    “None taken, I know you’re right. Part of me wonders why I made the choice I did. Am I trying to make up for the wrong choices I’ve made? Or do I really want to protect this woman from Wally? Truthfully, I’m not even sure I know the answer.”


    There was something inside me that wouldn’t go away, this feeling that there was something pushing me in this direction, something that told me this was the way forward. But how? There wasn’t an easy way out of this, there wasn’t an efficient way through. So what then was this feeling?


    The idea of gut feelings was something that I’m familiar with, though I know not to trust them blindly. So why was I listening this time? What was different now?


    “I have no doubt you’ve made the right choice, m’lord. You seem to make them quite frequently.”


    “Are you talking me up right now Kai?” I asked with a smile.


    She blushed slightly, “I did not mean it like that. It is just that you seem to make good choices the majority of the time. You are the reason we have survived as long as we have,” her words tumbled out, the pace of her speech increasing.


    She was easy to fluster, if you knew her well enough.


    I laughed a little at her, which only made her blush deepen.


    “I’m kidding Kai, I’m kidding,” I assured, “I thank you for your compliments, truly. If only you knew of all the wrong choices I’ve made in life.”


    I watched as candles down throughout the masses were extinguished, plunging the sheeted off rooms into darkness save for the faint glow on the floor. People were starting to turn in for the night. We stood silently, watching as one by one everyone turned over to sleep.


    “I think it’s time we caught some sleep Kai, what do you say?”


    “Indeed, m’lord. I will see you in the morning.”


    “Sleep well, regent,” I said as she crossed the hall.


    Her quarters were in one of the other two offices on the small top floor. Her room was what used to be the human resources managers office for the store we operated out of. The third office, the accountant''s office, was used for my personal storage.


    I extinguished the couple candles that lit my slowly darkening room. I made my way to my cot, retiring for the night. Readying myself for the hellstorm that I could feel awaiting me in the morning.