《The World Is Ending And It's Probably My Fault》


 Chapter 1: I Wanna Go! 鈥?ith You Though

    ¡®Let¡¯s runaway.¡¯ Na¡¯eem said, holding out an arm to her over the railing


    ¡®From what?¡¯ Yuxi laughed miserably, ¡®It¡¯s not like we could get away from this¡¯ She gestured wildly at the burning skyline, dark clouds curling against the pale moon.


    ¡®We could try.¡¯


    There was a heavy air of silence between them, broken by the distant cry of war. The flag of Azune hung high in the sky, ripped and slowly burning. Somewhere, a child sobbed over a broken toy, quickly hushed by their mother. And it wasn¡¯t too long ago that that child had been Na¡¯eem. Except he hadn¡¯t been crying over a broken toy.


    Na¡¯eem pressed his arms against the railing, the cool metal burning against his skin. He closed his eyes. He¡¯d made up his mind. There was nothing left for him to defend here.


    He tilted just a little more over the railing before it gave way and broke.


    The fall was freeing, the rush of adrenaline felt good as the wind bit against his face. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Yuxi¡¯s face. She looked out of breath. They gently floated together.


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    ¡®Na¡¯eem!¡¯


    He opened his eyes again, a sly grin on his face. Yuxi slapped him.


    ¡®You¡¯re ridiculous!¡¯ she yelled, panting, ¡®What if I couldn¡¯t catch you!?¡¯


    ¡®You¡¯d catch me.¡¯ He answered, maybe a little too light-heartedly


    Yuki shook her head, her dark knotted hair spinning against his face. She seemed close to tears.


    ¡®I-I mean, I d-dunno who wouldn¡¯t want to catch all of this..!¡¯ Na¡¯eem stammered a joke out before she could say anything back. This got a weak smile. Score.


    ¡®So, what do you say? We just leave this all behind? All this death and violence¡­¡¯ he asked, ¡®Please¡¯


    Yuxi shook her head, making a smile that didn¡¯t quite reach his eyes, ¡®People like us have a responsibility to defend, to protect.¡¯ Na¡¯eem felt her hand grip on him just a little too tight. She was always a steadfast woman. Or stubborn. Really it goes either way.


    Na¡¯eem gently laid his hand against her shoulders, her bare skin exposed since they¡¯d escaped the fires burning out on the ground. She shivered. He thought she looked breathtaking against the distant outline of the twin moons. He wanted to run away so badly; he couldn¡¯t stand being a soldier any longer. But he couldn¡¯t do it alone.


    ¡®Yuxi?¡¯


    Stupid questions were best asked at altitudes of forty stories or more.


    ¡®Mhm?¡¯ She made a soft sound with the back of her throat.


    ¡®I think I¡¯m in¡­¡¯


    The building behind them exploded.


    Yuxi¡¯s grip faltered. And then¡ªnothing.

 Chapter 2: She Fell From The Sky

    Na''eem woke to the sound of gunfire. His vision blurred, flickering between dark and darker. He blinked hard.


    Yuxi was nowhere to be seen.


    He stood back up, his body heavy and weak but seemingly unbruised by a fall he should have taken. A fall he didn''t take, his eyes widened.


    Na''eem dug his fingers deep into the concrete slabs, trying and failing to lift them. Desperate, he bent low, crawling through the thin cracks. A lifetime of eating rations had given him the lightest build in the platoon. Even so, the broken bits of building scraped against his sides as he pulled himself deeper.


    The ruins of the building shifted and groaned around as he kept pulling himself in deeper. He wouldn''t be able to forgive himself if he couldn''t find her.


    ''YUXI!''


    A weak cough echoed through the rubble.


    Deep cuts lined his arms weaving their way in as he scrambled after her. She was lying still, barely breathing. The gunfire stopped. Na''eem looked at her, tearing up far quicker then he''d like to admit. ''Yuxi, you alright? Please be alright'' he said, more to himself then her. Both her arms were bruised. It was all his fault. If she hadn''t been carrying him, she would have been safe, she could have escaped...


    ''No, no, no'' his voice faltered, ''Stay with me, Yuxi please, I can''t lose you''


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    She was looking at him. She seemed so accepting of the moment. Or maybe that''s all she could do.


    A loud crack broke his attention on her. Cold moonlight streamed in, the outline of another soldier forcing a dark shadow over Na''eem and Yuxi. ''Two survivors here!'' the man yelled, looking over his shoulder. He squinted at Na''eem, stepping back from the moonlight.


    The man held up his hand as the body hauler tried to push past.


    ''It''s them.'' He said.


    Na''eem cursed.


    ''The inhumans''


    ''Your leader''s been looking for the two of you'' the man scoffed, ''One of you now, I suppose. Filthy deserters''


    Na''eem shifted, shielding Yuxi''s fragile form with his body. His eyes flicked to the hauler, pleading silently.


    The man chuckled. "Don''t bother. You''re back on the frontlines. Move."


    ''You don''t talk? That''s fine, now move,'' he continued, ''You''re needed on the frontlines now.'' The man''s clothes began to smoke; Na''eem didn''t have the time.


    A loud bang.


    The man fell to the ground, unconscious. Na''eem would have rather he was dead. ''You don''t have long, others will come soon.'' the hauler said, his voice shaking. Na''eem nodded. The hauler hesitated, then pulled off his mask momentarily¡ªlight scales against his face. He was one of them. This type of kindness had been the fleeting reason he fought for a country he didn''t belong to.


    Na''eem bent low, heaving Yuxi onto his shoulder. He felt his muscles compress painfully under the weight but it was nothing compared to the guilt he''d feel if she didn''t make it. He walked past the hauler, touching shoulders as his way of expressing thanks.


    The air was thick with smoke and heavy under the night. Na''eem offered up a silent prayer to a nameless god as he made his way past the collapsed gates of the city they''d slaughtered. He took heavy, sharp gasps of air to keep himself company as he made his way off-route.


    No plan. No destination.


    Just Yuxi.


    He had to save her.

 Chapter 3: Youre Going To Live Through This

    ''Can you help us?'' Na''eem asked the travelling caravan, ''Please, she''s injured and...''


    The woman shook her head, feigning sadness, ''We don''t help your kind around here.''


    ''I promise you we mean no harm, just till the nearest town'' he tried, even though he already knew the answer. The woman shook her head and drew her cowl to cover her face. Na''eem felt the dawn sun burn against his skin.


    He clutched a knife against his waist. He could make this so much easier for them both. Then he let it go, sighing. Yuxi wouldn''t have liked it.


    ''Some country we''re defending,'' he spat.


    Na''eem fell to the ground, resting Yuxi against a willow tree. She took in soft, quiet breaths every now and again but her eyes remained shut. Her feathers had dulled, her skin had already begun to pale. Looking at her, his gaze softened.


    ''Just hold on a little longer, I promise I''ll save you.''


    His heart beat hard. He hated this uncertainty.


    ''Why couldn''t you just run away with me?'' he said, though he didn''t look at Yuxi.


    Na''eem spat again and stood up.


    ''Next bastard that doesn''t help us is getting it Yuxi, whether you like it or not.''


    And he wasn''t sure of it (but maybe just a little), but he thought he saw Yuxi smile.


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    Na''eem continued a very lonely walk against the breeze. He felt Yuxi''s discoloured hair run down his shoulders. He wondered if she was dreaming now. He wondered what she''d be dreaming about.


    When Na''eem was younger, he''d have wanted to be an artist. He''d spend hours, drawing in the dust and dirt till he was taken away by the military. From then on, he''d spend the rest of his life fighting. Who knew how many lives he''d taken by now, even if it was all indirectly.


    ''Mhm, Sir, I-'' Yuxi began to mumble in her sleep. Na''eem had always wondered about her, she never talked much about her past. Neither did he, so he supposed hers was just like all of them. Painful.


    ''Look, look! It''s the red eagle!'' yelled one of the village children, snapping Na''eem out of his thoughts. He wasn''t sure how long he''d been walking by now. Na''eem fell forward onto the floor, holding loosely onto Yuxi. He stood up, with his shoulders hung low and showed the palm of his hand to the gathering crowd. A spasm of fire burst out and dripped lazily onto the floor, he quickly extinguished it with his foot.


    ''Help us.'' he demanded.


    Someone that looked like the village medic stepped forward. He didn''t look much older then Na''eem. His hands shook as he walked closer. Na''eem didn''t extinguish the flame. ''Give her to me'' the boy said cautiously, not getting any closer. Na''eem obliged, he let the boy take Yuxi.


    ''She dies, you die'' Na''eem whispered to the boy as he walked past him.


    They moved to the more secluded but equally flammable sterile house of the village medic. Na''eem tapped the floor irritably, he was barely awake.


    ''She''s barely stable'' the medic said, ''Something crushed her left lung, it''s a miracle she''s gotten this far''. Na''eem felt his heart beat in between the beeps of the heart monitor.


    ''Is there anything you can do?'' Na''eem said it like a statement rather then a question. The answer had to be yes. He couldn''t live with himself if it wasn''t.


    ''We-I...'' the medic stammered, ''Without real equipment, she isn''t making it past today...''


    Na''eem slammed his fist into the wall, a drop of blood fell down.


    His body heavy, he dug into his pockets and threw his money pouch. It was everything he had.


    ''Here. Keep her safe.'' he told the medic, ''I''ll be back by noon''

 Chapter 4: Break A Sweat, Breaking In

    The cool ventilated air tasted stale and dry as Na''eem sculked through the military base. It wasn''t hard getting in; he was still verified military personal after all. And of all the inhumans, he''d always looked the most human. Just enough to pass.


    He didn''t need to get deep inside the base, medical equipment was always the closest area. Still, he held his breath as he walked past the guards at the doors. Secret military bases had a strict rule of shoot first and ask questions later. And usually, the questions didn''t get asked.


    ''Hey! Are you¡ª'' someone''s voice called out, Na''eem jumped. He slammed the doctor''s head into the wall, then looked around. No one had noticed them, or so it seemed. He quickly changed into the doctor''s uniform; it was loose fitting but he doubted anyone would notice.


    An iron lung, that''s what they called it. Science had advanced as far to replace human body parts, Na''eem just hoped that all those rules would apply to Yuxi too. He continued to move through the rooms and security passes, the doctor''s card taking him a little further without notice.


    He started frying door locks and melting glass.


    It was really starting to get cold, Na''eem figured he was getting closer. This was where they kept body parts or the like. He''d heard about it, it''s where they had taken most of his friends when they hadn''t survived the initial trials.


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    He bit his lip, he just needed to get in and out. No need to get all sentimental. Still, it was suspicious that he hadn''t met anymore security. But they couldn''t know he was here, that didn''t make any sense.


    Swallowing his doubts, he crept into the ice room. Bodies suspended in clear coloured liquids floated, dreaming the endless sleep. Or hopefully dead.


    Na''eem flinched, the faces in the murky waters looked so familiar. He pressed his face against the glass, trying to make them out. The body inside had both eyes closed but still it looked back at him. Na''eem gaped; the person inside the container...


    Was Yuxi.


    He shook his head away; he couldn''t keep looking. He had a mission to complete, he couldn''t waste his time looking at... her.


    But it really was her.


    Na''eem saw what he was looking for, a large metal container at the end of the room. He made a dash for it, grabbing it. He instantly regretted it, a sharp burn tore into his palms and he let go of the container. The pain brought a temporary relief from what he''d just seen.


    Concentrating his thoughts he coated his hands in a thin layer of cold flame. He took the container, it hit his chest and he felt a rush of cold fill his lungs. He only needed to carry it so far, he was sure he could get it out within the time.


    He stumbled back the way he came. Still, it was dead empty. Like somebody had already paved the way for him to come back. Na''eem walked slower, trying to hide his footsteps.


    There were dozens of conversations, floating around the base. But none of them were urgent or hushed. It was just a constant stream of noise. Na''eem passed the two guards again, he didn''t give them any attention and they paid him none back.


    He was out. Just a little further now.

 Chapter 5: The Part With The Bad Guys

    ''Well? Where are they?''


    ''S-Sir...'' the soldier stammered, ''We lost them in the capital''


    ''How did you lose them? We had them collared.''


    ''The fires, they must have fallen off...'' the soldier scratched his head uncertainly. Maybe it had been a bad idea to inform the general about the inhumans. Actually, now that he was face to face with the general, the soldier wasn''t so sure the general was human either.


    ''Without either of them, there is no destroying Azune. Do you understand that? Our country is dead without them.'' the general had a cold voice as he screamed, he didn''t seem to strain himself yet his voice filled the entire room. The soldier shivered. He decided to keep the fact that one of them was already dead to himself.


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    The soldier didn''t say anymore, he kept his eyes low to the floor and waited to be dismissed.


    There was a fast swish, then a sword was quietly sheathed.


    ''It''s bad luck our infantry found them first'' Isaak said, looking up at the general, ''The less people know about the inhumans on our side, the easier it''ll be to keep them under our control''


    Isaak kicked the soldier''s head to the side.


    ''Have someone clean that up, won''t you?''


    The general''s eyes narrowed, his muscles tensed, ''It will be done.''


    ''Delta team has already located the both of them,'' Isaak paced the room, ''Keep this hush in and out of your search and rescue team. If any of the prisoners mention anything, have them executed.''


    The general nodded.


    ''We''ll start moving towards the center of Azune.'' Isaak continued, ''Get ready to mobilise the remaining inhumans.''


    There was a quiet beep from Isaak''s pocket. The general didn''t make any notice of it but Isaak lifted his hand in a farewell gesture and exited the room.


    Isaak grabbed his comms device, reading out the code. Delta team was in position and awaiting orders. He told them to standby.


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 Chapter 6: Damaged Goods Packaged Together

    Na''eem was in a hospital room. Drip lines connected into his veins. The doctor said they only needed a little more blood before he was dismissed. Na''eem could only nod, his head felt so dizzy. He didn''t know why he was here, why he couldn''t go back to training. It was easier to shut out his thoughts when he was training.


    A few years later


    Na''eem was in a more comfortable bed, same thing as last time. He chose this time to rest instead of think about training. It was a little harder to rest this time, his dreams were restless and filled with memories he wasn''t sure were his own.


    He was pretty sure he was dying. And what felt stranger was that this didn''t feel like the first time.


    His head filled with a fuzzy haze before he woke up.


    The medic looked down at him. Na''eem was sitting in a chair, dirty and covered in dried sweat.


    ''This girl, even if she survives this operation,'' the medic said, clicking his surgical tools together, ''She''s never going to be the same.''


    ''She''s going to survive.'' Na''eem said.


    She has to. She has to. Right?


    His mind went back to the Yuxi he''d seen at the military base. Was she the same? Did she have the same dreams that Yuxi had?


    Na''eem watched the medic operate quietly, holding back his breath from time to time. Na''eem only knew the views of charred corpses, never what came before or what came after. He didn''t wince at the sight of blood but he couldn''t hide the fact that it hurt to see her bleed. He had cauterised wounds before, he had saved lives before.


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    But only just a few.


    Not enough to balance out what he''d done.


    Yuxi didn''t really know Na''eem the way the rest of the inhumans did. Because she wasn''t on the frontlines. She didn''t see the buildings light up into flame, or the people inside those buildings.


    Na''eem breathed.


    The damaged lung lay on the operating table. It was his fault, his damaged lung.


    He thought about what he was going to say, how he was going to apologise. If he hadn''t been were he was, if she hadn''t dove down to save him, she would have been just fine.


    Na''eem was running. Seven laps, eight laps. His muscles sprained, his heart hurting, he kept moving. The baggy military outfit was starting to fit him just a little. His head was growing light. But still he kept running.


    Your only purpose is to fight.


    That''s what all the inhumans were told, or so he had been told. He had to fight and fight for this country because it was all that kept him safe. He didn''t know what it was they were fighting for or what they were doing to keep him safe.


    He wished he did.


    Maybe he would have tried harder.


    But all he really wanted to do was runaway.


    ''Hey''


    The voice was so soft and yet it rang out. Na''eem''s eyes snapped open. Yuxi was there, caressing her hand against his cheek. He grabbed her arms tightly; she was real.


    ''O-Ow! Too tight too tight'' she squealed, but it was a light-hearted sound. She looked so calmly at him. Her eyes were paradise and he was melting in them.


    ''I-I,'' he stuttered, thinking over every apology he''d rehearsed but unable to finish any of them.


    ''I''m sorry.''


    ''For what?''


    She blinked at him, tilting her head quizzingly at him. ''For the explosion and,'' he tripped over his words, making small but panicked movements with his hands, ''and- you getting hurt, I...''


    He faltered again.


    It was weirdly hard to talk to her now. He felt embarrassed? Ashamed? Maybe a mixture of both.


    She smiled softly. A genuine smile.


    ''You''re so dumb''


    Na''eem looked at her, he felt confused. And just a little upset that she wasn''t upset at him.


    Yuxi coughed a little, she put his hand to her chest.


    ''You saved me, didn''t you?''


    ''I should''ve done more...''


    ''You did your best.''


    Again, Na''eem wanted to say something but he didn''t know if it was the right time. It never was the right time. This time he bit his tongue.


    He hugged Yuxi.


    ''I missed you.'' he mumbled, but he didn''t know if she heard him.

 Chapter 7: Home Isnt A Place, Its A Prison

    Na''eem looked up to Yuxi, his shoulders relaxed just a little. Just seeing her, breathing, eased his worries.


    He furrowed his eyebrows.


    ''S-So do you still want to leave?''


    To this, she laughed again. Her arms were so thin and her face was thin. She leaned against the wall of the medic''s office.


    ''You''ve already left.'' she said, shaking her head, ''I heard what they said to you, and I felt what you felt.''


    ''So you''re coming with me then?'' Na''eem felt his heart grow lighter and lighter. This was it, this was all that he wanted.


    ''I can''t Na''eem.'' Yuxi said, and Na''eem felt his body grow heavy again, ''We have a war to win, don''t we?''


    Na''eem shook, ''We''re not winning this war.''


    His whole body shuddered, ''You''re not the one doing all the killing.''


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    His hands shook, ''You don''t have blood on your hands.''


    Yuxi looked at him, her gaze gentle. It was starting to annoy Na''eem now. She was the perfect soldier, always following orders. But the perfect soldier isn''t a human being.


    ''You heard them all,'' Na''eem continued, ''We''re not even human!''


    ''Na''eem... you don''t understand,'' Yuxi said, her voice airy, ''This is so much bigger then anything we could ever contribute to. We, who never had a chance to do anything more, saving the world.''


    ''We don''t need to save the world,'' Na''eem buried his face into his hands, ''We just needed to save ourselves.''


    ''I just wanted to save you,'' he choked and this time he knew she didn''t hear him, ''In more ways then one.''


    She''d been safe from the violence, separate from the burning. She''d been there but not there. Not the way he''d been. And that''s why he saw something in her that he couldn''t see in the rest of his platoon.


    Maybe he''d been wrong.


    His heart hurt, he didn''t know what to do with that. There was a strange and painful feeling in his chest. One telling him to run, one telling him to stay.


    But he didn''t get to decide that.


    The door burst open, unnecessarily seeing as it was unlocked, and someone entered. Na''eem was put on guard, gripping the hilt of his knife. This man wore a dark black scarf wrapped tightly around his entire face, leaving only his eyes untouched. Na''eem didn''t like it, but he felt that he recognised those eyes.


    ''What do you want?'' Na''eem asked, narrowing his eyes at the intruder


    ''We''re taking you home.''

 Chapter 8: They Think They Know Me

    Na''eem followed behind the masked soldiers, his hands bound in tight coiled metal. They hadn''t spared Yuxi; she trailed weakly behind Na''eem. He looked back at her every now and again, making sure she was okay. He didn''t know why he did it.


    He hadn''t fought back. This was the second time he hadn''t tried. His mind was faltering, there wasn''t any reason he could come up with to explain why he''d given in. But he supposed it was too late for him to fight back.


    They hadn''t stripped him nor Yuxi for anything. The soldiers marched in dead silence. It was a dangerous silence.


    When they stopped, Na''eem shook. The military compound ahead of them was large, larger than most that Na''eem had been at before. Helicopters flew in the air like birds and missiles launched from time to time.


    They were let into the compound and walked into a more discreet section. Na''eem flexed his wrists against the binding, the metal was rubbing into his skin. This was wrong. He was a soldier.


    The metal doors slammed behind them, leaving a sickening warm draft behind.


    ''Throw them in,'' said Isaak, his former platoon leader, looking at Na''eem with scorn. The prisons were empty but reeked of their previous victims. Yuxi entered placidly; it was almost as if she took the blame whole-heartedly.


    Again, Na''eem didn''t have the words to say anything. He wanted to, but still he kept quiet.


    ''You made an interesting dash,'' Isaak mocked, ''It was a bit pointless though, don''t you think?''


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    Na''eem shrugged.


    ''You know, of all the inhumans, you always were the most rebellious.'' Isaak said, walking out of the room, ''Or maybe the most scared.''


    Na''eem gritted his teeth. He looked to Yuxi for some kind of answer but she was staring blankly out into the distance. She''d been like this ever since he''d asked her to run away with him again. Like there was something holding her back.


    ''Yuxi'' he whispered.


    No response.


    ''Yuxi'' a little louder this time


    Dead silence.


    Then she said, ''I don''t know.''


    ''Hm?'' Na''eem couldn''t make out her face in the dark, she looked away from him. She didn''t answer.


    Na''eem sighed and lay his back against the concrete wall. There had to be something, anything that he was missing.


    Then a realisation dawned on him. He wasn''t expected to stay here. The lax security, the snide remarks, they''d left him to his own devices because they knew he wouldn''t stay still. And he was going to prove them right.


    First, the air became thinner. An invisible flame began to grow in the corner of the room, drawing as much oxygen as Na''eem could.


    Yuxi looked up at him, processing slowly what was happening, ''Na''eem, don''t...''


    Second, the metal wire snapped as he pressed the edge of his knife against it.


    She collapsed loudly, still breathing softly. He could hear her wheezing.


    Finally, Na''eem slowly moved the translucent flame, the metal bars melted with little struggle. He highly doubted they were metal.


    Na''eem walked over to Yuxi''s cell, slinging her over his shoulder. He should leave her but he couldn''t bring himself to. He cared too much, for a soldier. And still, he couldn''t bear to be alone.


    He unlatched the metal doors and walked out into the broad daylight.


    ''Don''t you think that''s a little too obvious, even for you?'' laughed a familiar soft voice.


    Na''eem frowned.


    Yuxi was beside him, mumbling in her sleep. But she was also standing in front of him, a hand on her hip and a sinister look in her eyes.


    ''How about you drop that defective copy and finish what you were made for?''