《metamorphosis》


 11:46 PM

    When you think of bullying, you typically think of some jock named Chad Stevens. Captain of the football team, an absolute pure muscle, and a terror to all fellow nerds and geeks. You may presume that bullying consists of physical abuse and some nasty words exchanged during lunch breaks and most other forms of free time we have in high school.


    This is the most popular form of a portrait of bullying in the media and Hollywood. But for me bullying is a part of my life, sometimes I see it as a gene code inputted in during my creation to always get picked on.


    I mean I can''t blame them, I''m fat, ugly, I have crooked teeth, and I am broke. Heck if I was in a different body I would bully myself too.


    I always hate waking up to that god damned alarm clock that disturbs my only form of escape in the dreamland.


    I hate waking up in a home that smells of cheap alcohol that mother and stepdad drink themselves to death. I hate going to school when I get beat, humiliated, and ignored by everyone, and I especially hate the pity the teachers give every time they look at me like a sort of broken doll.


    I hate being almost 18 and having no future and colleges to sign up to. I turn the alarm off and go back to sleep. After some time I woke up to arguing downstairs. It''s almost funny how they always argue the same things every day.


    ¡®¡¯I fucking told you not to go there, Dale¡¯¡¯


    My mother yells at Dale, her voice sounds like a broken class with all the heroin and crack she smokes.


    ¡°I just fucking did you bitch¡¯¡¯ Dale replies with the most fake hood accent for a white dude who believes he grew up on the streets.


    ¡®¡¯ so where¡¯s my money?¡¯¡¯ Mom asks


    This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.


    ¡°What money?¡± Dale returns the question.


    ¡°The money we agreed on when I gave you the weed to sell to that bitch Hanna,¡± she states matter-of-factly.


    ¡° bitch, are you out of your drugged mind, you didn''t give me any weed to sell to no Hanna,¡± he says in the most annoying punchable face, even the bullies in my school have more street cred than two-time Dale here with his fake dreads and silver grills that he bought off eBay but tells everyone their legit.


    ¡°Please Dale, I need that money to pay for my rent this month¡± she pleads even though we all know that she not getting the money.


    Dale was about to retort when I walked downstairs. We both stared at each other as he snorted and left.


    ¡°Hi honey, did they cancel school today?¡± mom asks me.


    Every time I see her I feel like she is getting skinner and skinner, her cheekbones are showing more and more and some teeth missing. I remember she used to be healthy when the day was around, but ever since his death, our lives have been a living hell.


    Yeah,¡± I said lying. ¡°They said someone damaged the pipes at the school and all the plumbing is fucked up so they decided to give up a week off while they fix it,¡± I said.


    ¡°Well ok, I am going out do you need anything¡±


    She asks.


    ¡°No I''m good thanks¡± I replied


    ¡°well ok, I''m just going to have a what with that whore Hanna to get my money,¡± she said like that was going to pay the rent.


    ¡°Ok¡± was all I managed to say before she left. I wish I said more to her since today was the last day I was going to see her.


    I decided to eat some cereal and watch TV before heading out myself. I wanted to walk this stress one more time. It''s funny, you notice a lot of details when you don''t have to worry about life anymore. I feel like 100 tons of force has lifted off my shoulders when I decided wanted to kill myself today. I feel like it''s way overdue.


    I decided to visit the local park and just sit and stare at people as they went about their lives. I saw a woman running with her dog, she must have a great life. She''s fit, healthy, and properly rich. Then I saw two men walking and talking. They seem like they work at Headfund or some big company that pays well. I bet they have to worry about paying rent or worrying about what they will eat tomorrow.


    It''s getting late, and I decided to walk to the lake up north. This time of year in the spring, the lake gets a lot of visitors since it''s warm and beautiful. I saw a free bench near the parking lot and sat. I looked back at my life. No one will miss me if I''m gone, except Mabey my mom, but if I know, she will probably get a lot of drugs and just forget about me eventually. Now it''s getting dark. I walk up the slope at the top of tye bridge that connects the northside and south sides of Loston. I climbed up to the top of the bridge when I finally saw the lake, it was about 60 meters high. I look at the time. 11:46 pm. I look back one more time at my home, my school, my mom, my fucking shitty life, and jump.