ã€ŠThe Dark Lord Left For Cigarettes [Kobold takeover of Rising Stars, BABY]ã€‹


 Ch 1. Kip Gets A Promotion

    Kip fiddled with a loose pin in a floor trap. His hands worked tediously but the cold of the fifth floor made his job that much harder. He stuck his hands up and coughed some sparks on them to help warm some mobility back into them. Kip was alone, the only minions around were above him. The chattering ice harpies flew above him, often perching on the tall pines to continue their gossiping.

    Kip opened the third pouch of his belt and pulled out a coil. He used his trusty screwdriver to open up the mechanism and replaced the rusted coil inside. With that, he was done. He closed the trapdoor and set it again. Kip tossed the last of his fish lunch onto the trap, it opened and the fish dropped, effortlessly pierced on an icicle.

    ¡°Perfect!¡± Kip said as he admired his handiwork. He checked his wristwatch. Done before afternoon tea too. He had a long way to trek back to the Labyrinth but the clockworks needed their engines greased.

    ¡°KIIIP!¡± A shriek rang up above. Kip looked up. Two of the harpies, Ismelda and Emersa, were dropping down to talk to him. Kip was shocked, wondering how the two coolest birds on the fifth floor even knew his name. He had chatted with them, sure. But they stuck to polite conversation and little follow-up. Sometimes though, occasionally, they¡¯d ask him what his name was again.

    ¡°Is it true?!¡± Ismelda flapped her wings down, the snowy ground developing crystals of ice as she continued hovering above.

    ¡°How¡¯d you do it?¡± Emersa asked a follow up before Kip could answer.

    ¡°Is it true?¡± Kip asked, ¡°How¡¯d I do it?¡± Then he looked down at the floor trap, how it led down to the spikes that would inevitably pierce an invader¡¯s head or shoulder, ¡°It was quite simple, really. You know, the coils are the first things you have to check. If the floor trap doesn¡¯t spring back up then the invader might be saved and..¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not what we¡¯re talking about,¡± Ismelda crowed.

    ¡°What is he talking about?¡± Emersa asked.

    ¡°Not what we¡¯re talking about.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ how did I do what?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°You don¡¯t know.¡± Ismelda said.

    ¡°He doesn¡¯t know?¡±

    "How could he, we barely knew and we know most things that go on.¡±

    ¡°But how couldn¡¯t he? Surely¡­ did you not have anything to do with it? Have you checked your system today? ¡± Emersa asked.

    ¡°What?¡± Kip asked ¡°What do I not know that I apparently had nothing to do with? I don¡¯t see combat, thankfully. I¡¯m level one. Always have been. No need to check my system. Wait, why?¡±

    The two harpies both exchanged glances with each other and looked back at the little kobold who was feeling so nervous being the center of attention that his scales turned an even darker shade of red.

    ¡°You must get to the castle.¡± Ismelda said.

    ¡°Top bottom floor!¡± Emersa confirmed.

    ¡°Must I?¡± Kip asked, ¡°I have many more traps to fix. Were we to face an enemy¡­¡±

    ¡°Kip,¡± Ismelda interrupted, ¡°I think you don¡¯t understand. How could he? He does not know. The Dark lord¡­¡±

    ¡°The Dark lord has asked me to fix all the traps.¡± Kip interrupted, ¡°Surely he would have told me directly if he needed me.¡±

    ¡°...Is gone.¡± Emersa finished Ismelda¡¯s sentence.

    ¡°Gone like¡­ dead¡­ again? Dead for good? No invader has made it past¡­¡±

    ¡°He does not understand.¡± Ismelda said

    ¡°How could he?¡± Emersa asked.

    ¡°Shall we?¡±

    ¡°We must!¡±

    As the two harpies flapped their wings harder, little icicle darts shot below them. The surrounding area became even cooler and Kip covered his face with his hands as the frosty winds hit him. They each used one of their talons and picked up the shoulder of Kip, before flying off with him.

    The two harpies took him all the way to the top of Castle Inversa. They went in through a chute left open for some of the smaller aerial minions. Kip kept his eyes covered the entire time, knowing that if he opened them, he would likely get sick. He always had a thing against flying. It was every Kobold¡¯s dream to fly but he was very much fine on the ground, thank you.

    Much to Kip''s relief, the harpies let him go. They entered the throne room, an elegant room near the beginning of the castle. It was large enough that the Dark Lord could address a majority of his inhabitants at one time. A large red rug that started from the two heavy doors ended a few feet from the throne. Before he could scream, Kip landed with a thump on the velvety carpet covering stone tiles. He opened his eyes and was entirely surrounded by castlefolk.

    ¡°Wh-what is everybody looking at?¡± Kip asked.

    No one dared say a word to Kip directly, but would incessantly chatter amongst themselves as if he wasn¡¯t even there.

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    ¡°Step away! Step away!¡± Kip could hear the familiar gruff voice of his dear compatriot. Or rather, his boar compatriot. Stormbristle drifted over the heads of the castlefolk. His cloud was darkened by worry. He used his little legs to swim through the air but was blocked by knights with their halberds sticking straight up.

    ¡°Out of the WAY!¡± Stormbristle¡¯s body flashed lightning, causing the knights to heed him. Stormbristle drifted to the ground so he could waddle over to Kip for the rest of the way.

    ¡°Are you alright, my boy?¡± Stormbristle asked.

    ¡°Storm,¡± Kip said, ¡°Why is everyone staring at me? It¡¯s making me dizzy.¡±

    ¡°You are the talk of the Dungeon. Have you checked your system?¡±

    Kip became overstimulated, his eyes glazing over as everyone stared on. ¡°I.. how can I be? Most monsters don¡¯t even know my name. Last time I came to the castle to do some trapwork everyone thought I was an invader. I almost got flogged, Storm.¡±

    ¡°Yes, well¡­ everyone in the Dark Lord¡¯s army will know your name soon.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ve been spreading the news since we heard it!¡± Ismelda piped up.

    ¡°We¡¯re the reason things spread.¡± Emersa chimed in.

    ¡°Storm,¡± Kip said, his voice quivering, ¡°Please tell me what¡¯s going on.¡±

    ¡°Your system, boy, check it,¡± Stormbristle instructed Kip, who looked everywhere for the ¡®open¡¯ icon in his vision. He had moved it years ago from disuse, ¡°What¡¯s going on is¡­¡±

    The doors to the throne room were heavy, ornate pieces. They had the Massacre of Mad Mountain painstakingly etched into them by dwarves and when the dwarves¡¯ hands cramped, the Dark Lord had brought in gnomes and had the dwarves executed. They stretched from the floor all the way to the high ceiling. These heavy doors were meant for a team of guards to open with a pulley system. But when Davorin walked in, he pushed them with one hand each and they slammed open. Davorin, the Floor Lord of Castle Inversa, coiffed his white hair behind his blue ears as he stormed in.

    ¡°Out of my WAY!¡± Davorin commanded. He charged down the velvet walkway and the monsters and critters that had been surrounding Kip suddenly opened up, shuffling between each other to try to provide a direct path to Kip. There was, however, not enough time for one of the chess pieces that guarded the courtyard to get out of the way. A small rook had tripped and fallen in front of Davorin¡¯s path.

    ¡°Too slow!¡± Davorin kicked the rook, launching her up into the high ceiling and slamming against the paned glass of one of the Floor Lords.

    ¡°You¡¯re Kit?¡± Davorin demanded, ¡°Speak, you little scaly rat. Are you he?¡±

    ¡°I¡­¡± Kip stuttered as Davorin scooped his finger through the collar of Kip¡¯s hood and lifted him up.

    ¡°Are. You. He?¡±

    Kip gurgled as he tried to catch his breath, then he eked out, ¡°I¡¯ve met you four times.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re he or aren¡¯t you?!¡± Davorin shook Kip in the air. Kip let out a weak sound Davorin tossed him.

    ¡°Yes I¡¯m he! I¡¯m Kip. Nice to see you again,¡± Kip murmured, ¡°What is going on?!¡±

    ¡°Precisely what I¡¯d like to ask you. When my people told me the news I almost bit their heads off. Is what everyone is telling me true?¡±

    ¡°I DON''T KNOW!¡± Kip exclaimed, ¡°I have not the slightest, foggiest, iota of an infinitesimal idea of what is going on! Why is everybody staring at me?!¡±

    ¡°They are looking at their new leader.¡± A powerful voice cut through the crowd. Everyone turned and saw another Floor Lord, Jymba, the powerful dragon in his human form. He was wearing his regal robes and walked through the crowd with the same reverence as Davorin, minus the paralyzing fear.

    ¡°Check your system, Kip,¡± Jymba said.

    ¡°My system?¡± Kip asked, ¡°I¡¯m level one. As always.¡±

    Jymba continued, ¡°This morning we could not find the Dark Lord anywhere. When we checked his throne, we found a note.¡± Jymba walked past both of them, further down the red carpet, toward the throne.

    Kip looked around for the exact space where he left the button that opened up his system. He turned and noticed the ¡®Open¡¯ icon near his tail. He pressed it. The scroll that contained all his stats read the same. Level 1. Miniscule strength. Exceptional intelligence. Everything looked the same except¡­

    Kip went pale.

    Davorin hissed and turned his head when he saw Jymba, ¡°You need not make it your business.¡±

    ¡°It is all of our business,¡± Jymba said, ¡°We are all staring at our new lord.¡±

    Under ¡®Role:¡¯ his position had been changed. No longer did it read ¡°Head Of Traps¡± Instead, it was replaced:

    Role: Dark Lord

    Davorin let out a rueful laugh, ¡°Do not make me laugh! He is no more our leader than a crow is a bird.¡±

    ¡°A crow is a bird,¡± Jymba said, ¡°I have told you this many times.¡±

    ¡°It is a BAT!¡± Davorin yelled, ¡°I am a vampire and my specialty is knowing when things are bats or when they are not.¡±

    Jymba handed Kip an envelope, now opened. The first thing that Kip noticed was the Dark Lord¡¯s seal. An upside down castle exactly like the one they were in. He opened it. It was not overly verbose. It was quick and to the point, what the note lacked in information, it made up for in bluntness.

    ¡°Out for a while. Kip¡¯s in charge while I¡¯m gone.¡±

    Kip kept staring at it for far too long, wondering when someone would tap him on his shoulder and let him know that the Dark Lord was hiding behind some plant. Kip looked around again. Somehow, not knowing why everyone was looking at him felt a lot better than knowing.

    ¡°It is the Dark Lord¡¯s decree,¡± Jymba¡¯s voice boomed.

    ¡°Imbecilic.¡± Davorin said.

    ¡°If you question the Dark Lord, then so be it. But there is no question what the next step is. It is up to you, little one.¡±

    Kip held onto the letter so tightly, he was likely to rip it. Stormbristle tried to bring his attention to the matter at hand, ¡°What say you, Kip?¡± Stormbristle asked, ¡°What say you as your first decree?¡±

    ¡°This is crazy,¡± Kip said, ¡°I¡­ I¡­. I am not worth¡­ I am not a dark lord, it is as Davorin says.¡±

    ¡°Ah, some sense. And from the biggest little rat I¡¯ve ever seen. It shall be me who takes the throne. The prince of darkness. The heir apparent.¡±

    Kip thought for a moment. He wasn¡¯t fit to be Dark Lord, but his eyes went to the rook, who was holding onto some tapestry high in the castle. He was hanging on desperately while a few flying books tried to help him down. Davorin. Davorin would be the next in line if Kip seceded.

    ¡°Not so apparent.¡± Kip mumbled under his breath.

    Davorin turned to look at Kip. Kip had a fire in his eyes as he met the floor lord''s bloodshot gaze.

    ¡°What did you say?¡±

    ¡°Your hearing is heightened, no?¡± Kip asked, shaking, ¡°I think you heard me. Not so heir apparent.¡±

    Davorin looked around. There were a few terrified ¡®ooohs.¡¯

    ¡°The Dark lord chose me. Who are you to question him?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°What are you doing, boy?¡± Stormbristle asked.

    ¡°I¡­ can¡¯t let him lead,¡± Kip whispered, ¡°You know how he treats the minions. It¡­ can¡¯t be him.¡±

    Davorin¡¯s maliced frown popped suddenly into a smile. He gave his hands a little clap, ¡°Wundabar! I was worried you¡¯d choose the easy way.¡±

    Kip was caught off guard. Was this just a test that he¡¯d passed?

    ¡°Since you are acting as the current Dark Lord, I invoke the The Succession Articles on the Dark Charter. Article 4. I hereby challenge you to claim the throne. I get to decide the battle. Let¡¯s say¡­ one on one? To the death. One week from today. Afternoon, mind you, I have tea with my beloved in the morning. Ta-ta!¡±

    And Davorin left Kip with the startling realization that Kip had just signed his own death warrant.

 Ch 2: Meet The Bog Witch And The Minotaur

    The vampire popped up from a spring behind the bushes.

    ¡°Now, Kip!¡± Azami cried from her crow¡¯s nest.

    ¡°Kia!¡± Kip ran toward the statue, looking down at the ground and stepping over some brambles and logs. Once he was in position, he used his claws to slash at the vampire effigy. His first claw attack slashed the paint off the wooden slat. The crude painting had comical white lines on the vampire¡¯s mouth for teeth and two inclined lines to represent a furrowed brow.

    ¡°And another!¡± Kip ripped into the vampire cutout with his other claw. This one pierced the wood, enough to get his hand stuck in the thing, ¡°Give me my hand back!¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t let him off easy!! Use your dragon powers!¡± Azami shouted commands as she looked through her opera binoculars.

    Kip reached with his mouth and sunk his teeth into the pretend enemy. He chomped down hard but then he released his mouth and screamed to the top of his lungs.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong, Kip?¡± Azami asked.

    ¡°Splinter!¡± Kip said, as he attempted to pull his hand out. He stepped backward but the wooden cutout came off its hinges and fell on top of him. The cutout was too heavy and Kip struggled before eventually crying, ¡°Mercy! Mercy! Tap!¡±

    He tapped the ground next to him with his available arm, his other hand still lodged in the wooden vampire.

    Azami let out a deep sigh. She placed her large brim hat on and got off her chair, ¡°Swiff!¡± Her broom was dancing by the roses, when it heard its name called and raced through the air. It presented itself vertically, where Azami reached out and grabbed it. She used the bristles as a foothold and Swiff floated her down to meet with Kip.

    Azami flicked her wand and the wooden cutout floated on to over kip and was safely dug back in the location behind the bushes.

    Kip lay there on the ground, panting heavily, ¡°What¡­ do you¡­ think?¡±

    ¡°What does your system say again?¡±

    ¡°Ugh, why do I have to repeat that bloody thing? It doesn¡¯t like me.¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± Azami said, ¡°Even if this neutral representation of your skills and attributes doesn¡¯t like you, let¡¯s hear what it¡¯s got to say.¡±

    Kip had moved the menu button back into his eyeline. He pressed it and a scroll opened up in front of him that Azami could see too.

    ¡°Intelligence, 15. Wisdom, 12. Charisma¡­ 8¡­¡± Kip stopped reading.

    ¡°Come on, Kip,¡± Azami gently chided him, ¡°You can do it.¡±

    ¡°Endurance 5. Strength¡­ 2.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a good start,¡± Azami said in her calming voice. She gave Kip a polite smile, ¡°After that last test, I have some more advanced insight, if you¡¯d like.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s hear it.¡±

    ¡°Wisdom, 12 but with an exception in adaptability. Far exceeds the normal denizen. Your ability to think through problems is unmatched. Strength 2 but combat score¡­ zero. My dear, you lost to a wooden cutout.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s quite heavy,¡± Said Kip, still laying on the ground.

    ¡°Intelligence is, as you stated, far above the average amount. Your keen analytical eye allows you to see the finer points of every problem.¡±

    ¡°Thank you.¡±

    ¡°But there is not just an abundance, there is an overabundance. You are over analyzing. Your combat score will rise when you take action. As of now, you¡¯re bewildered and easily flustered.¡±

    ¡°Buh! Whu! Well I¡­ Wha¡­.¡± Kip babbled for a while out of deep bewilderment.

    ¡°Charisma. You¡¯re constitutionally incapable of being anyone but yourself and people will like that¡­ if they get to know you.¡±

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    ¡°If they get to know me,¡± Kip finally started to pick himself up, ¡°If they don¡¯t get to know me in the next five days then they¡¯ll never get another chance.¡±

    ¡°Come now,¡± Azami said, she got off her broom and her feet finally touched the ground, ¡°You still have a chance. If you give up now, Davorin wins.¡±

    ¡°Azami, if I fight, Davorin wins. If I give up, I will live, at least.¡±

    Azami shook her head, her frizzy blue hair following her every twist and movement, ¡°Everyone is rooting for you, Kip. We all dislike Davorin.¡±

    ¡°KIIIP!¡± They both heard a booming voice from the way of the labyrinth. The pond Azami and Kip were both next to started to ripple with each coming step. Azami looked over to Kip out of curiosity and he just rolled his eyes. The trees separated and she saw him. A burly man¡¯s body with a cow¡¯s head and horns that stretched out like tree limbs. The minotaur twisted his head so his steed horns could avoid two trees that were planted too close together. He showed up wearing a leather vest and pants that had been tattered into shorts.

    ¡°Kip!¡± Zeke shouted, ¡°I heard what happened!¡±

    ¡°Hey, Zeke,¡± Kip said, then he turned to Azami and said, ¡°This is the labyrinth¡¯s mob boss, Zeke.¡±

    Zeke caught his breath, placing his mighty hands on his knees and resting his two horns against the prongs of a tree. He quickly lifted up his hand to say ¡®hi¡¯ to Azami before replacing it back on his knees for rest.

    ¡°Kip!¡± Zeke finally turned to him, ¡°I heard what happened. Congrats on the promotion. Yadda yadda yadda. Can I have your shrapnel grenades? PLEASE Kip. Can I call dibs on your grenade stash?¡±

    ¡°Nice to meet you,¡± Azami said, ¡°But he¡¯s not going to die. He¡¯s going to figure this out.¡±

    ¡°If Azami believes in me then I think I can do this.¡±

    ¡°Oooh, gotcha. You¡¯re still in the denial phase. Well, if¡­. slash when you die, can I please have your grenades? Think about it, Kip. You got some punk paladin waltzing through the labyrinth, ¡®la-dee-daa I think I¡¯ll kill some poor minotaur today,¡¯ and suddenly he sees me and all he¡¯s thinking is¡­ ¡®uh oh, I¡¯m going to have to battle this guy with his oversized axe or something¡¯ and¡­. Wait, where is my axe?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s strapped to your back, Zeke.¡±

    The minotaur lifted his arm and checked his back, ¡°Thanks. Then I¡¯ll be like¡­ ¡®Axe? Those are for dorks. Grenades!¡¯ and he¡¯ll be like ¡®oh no! I¡¯m dead! Blegh¡¯¡± Then Zeke stuck his tongue out, closed his eyes, and pretended to be a dead paladin.

    ¡°That was a wonderful play you put on but no, Zeke. You may not have my grenades when I die. You are big enough. You can take on an invader or two with an axe. We have to be able to give the weaker ones a chance. That¡¯s what the grenades are for. Not for the people who can already take down someone.¡±

    ¡°Aw come on!¡± The minotaur¡¯s pleas were so loud that Azami and Kip had to cover their ears, ¡°Minotaur with grenades! It¡¯ll be amazing!¡±

    Kip just shook his head, ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Zeke. Not everyone gets that luxury of strength. Not everyone is you¡­ or Davorin.¡±

    ¡°Davorin¡­ that¡¯s a bruiser,¡± Zeke said.

    ¡°What do you know about him, cow?¡± Azami asked,

    Zeke shook his head, ¡°Fifteen winters ago, a town sent their militia to invade us. Our platoon cut them off up North. They were mostly guards with some miners mixed in. We were holding them off, but their town was rich with ore. They were able to afford help. They¡¯d hired Ducervi.¡±

    ¡°Ducervi?!¡± Azami asked. When Swiff heard the word, it trembled and started nervously sweeping the dirt even though they were outside and the whole world was dirt.

    ¡°Who are the Ducervi?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°The strongest, most blood thirsty, most money-hungry warriors of the humanlands join the Ducervi mercenary troupe,¡± Azami said, then she looked upon Kip and said, ¡°You are lucky you¡¯ve never met their strength.¡±

    ¡°So the Decervi showed up and started kicking our ass,¡± Zeke continued, ¡°We were losing our numbers. The minotaur on my right was getting blasted by a lightning blast, the goblin on my left was getting hit by the same lightning blast. And then there was me. I was getting hit by the lightning blast too. But I survived.

    ¡°My troupe had bit the dust. I¡¯m looking around and I¡¯m surrounded. It¡¯s raining because of the lightning storm the Ducervi wizard had cast. I know I¡¯m gone so I¡¯m just swinging my axe, eyes closed. I swing for a while, but the humans didn¡¯t approach. When I opened my eyes, all the humans were dead in front of me.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Kip said, covering his mouth in shock.

    ¡°I saw up on the hill, even through all the heavy rain and lightning, Davorin¡¯s two glowing red eyes,¡± Zeke looked up, as if he was transported to that day when he was fighting that battle, getting lost in the difficult memory, ¡°Davorin fought off the Ducervi, enough for all of us to retreat. There had been enough casualties that the human army couldn¡¯t continue. Five of the most powerful fighters and he held them off.¡± Zeke was shaken away from the memory, back to the present, he stuck his thumb up at a trembling Kip, ¡°But you got this, Kip!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re making this much worse. I¡¯m Azami by the way.¡±

    ¡°Not sure how to make it better,¡± Zeke said, ¡°The guy¡¯s a war machine. Kip, you¡¯re not a fighter. You¡¯re not even a lover. You¡¯re just like¡­ a cute lil guy.¡±

    Zeke bent over and pinched Kip¡¯s scaly cheeks, ¡°I love ya, I¡¯m going to miss ya, but you¡¯re a cute lil guy. You shouldn¡¯t be fighting big scary vampires.¡±

    Kip¡¯s cheeks were pinched but all he could say was, ¡°An entire line of humans?¡±

    ¡°Yup. Five Ducervi too. Nuts.¡±

    Azami grabbed her broom and floated around the minotaur¡¯s shoulders, ¡°That¡¯s enough out of you. Kip, the threat is serious, but don¡¯t get overwhelmed. Treat it like a puzzle that needs solving and you can unlock this.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ right¡­ Kip you¡¯re going to hate me.¡±

    Kip, ¡°I have so much on my plate already. Please don¡¯t tell me it¡¯s something important.¡±

    ¡°Not sure. Not really up to me how important it is. Way above my paygrade. Actually, it¡¯s your paygrade now, right, brother? How important is losing the keys to the labyrinth?¡±

 Ch 3 We Meet The Clockworks

    ¡°A minion stole your keys!?¡± Kip squeaked. Zeke stomped through the forest while Kip perched on his shoulder and tightly held to the minotaur¡¯s horn. They had left Azami¡¯s neck of the swamp and were speeding toward the Merciless Maze.

    They both arrived at the bridge over Lethal Lake. A stone archway that was fixed with ¡®Warning: Troll¡¯ signs all over it guarded a retractable bridge, currently unretracted, or as Zeke liked to say, ¡®tracted.¡¯

    Zeke slowed down near the bridge, Kip asked why they weren¡¯t going and Zeke said, ¡°Just waiting for-¡±

    A hairy troll popped out, his top set of arms held a sword and shield, the bottom set was holding his hands in a stop motion. The minotaur stopped immediately.

    ¡°Hello, Kip!¡± The troll said cheerily, then under his breath said, ¡°Hello Zeke.¡±

    ¡°I forgot the password.¡±

    The troll¡¯s face lightened and he stuck his finger in the air, in his nebbish voice he said, ¡°If you have forgotten the password then you must answer my riddles!¡±

    ¡°I remember the password, Byron,¡± Kip said, ¡°It was ¡®password.¡¯¡±

    ¡°Correct!¡±

    ¡°Wonderful!¡± Kip said, "now please let us through. We¡¯re in a total hurry.¡±

    ¡°No. You are correct in that it was ¡®password.¡¯ The Dark Lord changed it before he left.¡±

    ¡°You saw him before he left?!¡± Kip asked, ¡°Did he tell you where he was going?¡±

    ¡°Did he tell you to tell us the password?¡± Zeke asked.

    ¡°No to both! Now, do you want to hear my riddle?¡±

    ¡°Byron,¡± Kip said, ¡°We need to secure the keys to the labyrinth. It¡¯s being held by someone easily defeatable and if an intruder get¡¯s access, they won¡¯t have access to the labyrinth, they¡¯ll have the master keys for other floors too. That will not be good.¡±

    ¡°Kip, I sympathize but I need a password. It is imperative that we keep these safety measures in place. An intruder could have taken your shape,¡± Then the troll looked at Zeke, ¡°Or could have hypnotized you. Taken control of your mind as easily as a child¡¯s. A child who¡¯s not very smart. No, I say. You must solve the riddle. Even the Dark Lord himself would need to solve the riddle to get through to here. Is that understood?¡±

    Zeke whispered to Kip on his shoulder, ¡°A grenade would help right about now.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯d like to hear a riddle?¡± The troll perked up.

    ¡°Is it ¡®password1?¡¯¡± Kip asked.

    The troll¡¯s smile faded, ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°¡®password2¡¯?¡± Zeke asked.

    ¡°Is it password3?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°You¡¯ll never get it like that.¡±

    ¡°Maybe it¡¯s something the dark lord loves. His pet, Cerburex?¡±

    ¡°Reminds me, I have to feed him now. Guess that¡¯s my responsibility,¡± Kip mumbled to himself, ¡°Rexy?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Rexy1?¡± Zeke asked.

    ¡°Rexy2?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°You both will never get it. Not at all. You might have a better chance at a riddle.¡±

    ¡°Okay fine!¡± Kip said, ¡°Please, Byron. A riddle.¡±

    ¡°I can kill him with my axe,¡± Zeke said.

    The troll stuck up his sword and shield, then his bottom arms took out two knives, ¡°I¡¯d dare you to try.¡±

    ¡°Normal, or Double Dog?¡± Zeke asked, reaching for his great axe.

    ¡°Stop! Stop, there will be no fighting. Fine¡­¡±

    The troll smiled, his bottom right arm replaced his axe in his holster and retrieved a scroll from his vest. Byron unfurled it, and his bottom left arm took out his monocle, attaching it to his eye. He cleared his throat.

    ¡°I don¡¯t have eyes,

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    But once I did see.

    I once had thoughts,

    Now white and empty."

    ¡°A skull,¡± Kip said.

    ¡°Not that one!¡± The troll interjected, ¡°I was just reading that to warm up.¡±

    ¡°Is it ¡®password¡¯ but the ¡®s¡¯s are ¡®z¡¯s?¡± Zeke asked.

    ¡°Shut up. Ahh! Here¡¯s a good one. It¡¯ll take you a while to solve.¡±

    Kip slapped his face, ¡°You¡¯re supposed to be trying to help us get through.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll get it. You¡¯ll get it. Ahem.

    What is it that given one,

    you¡¯ll have either two or none?¡±

    Kip let out a big sigh and turned to Zeke, ¡°Do you know this?¡±

    Zeke started to shake his head, his steed-like horns brushed Kip off Zeke''s shoulder. Kip held onto Zeke''s shoulder for dear life.

    ¡°Woah!¡± Kip said as he landed back on the shoulder.

    ¡°Come on,¡± Troll said, ¡°You¡¯ve got this. Think about it.¡±

    ¡°What is it that given one¡­¡± Kip silently thought to himself, ¡°What is it that, given one¡­ Hmmm. Eggs?¡±

    ¡°Eggs?¡± The troll said with an inscrutable face, ¡°You think the answer is eggs?¡±

    ¡°Well, normally you eat two eggs in one sitting. Sometimes¡­ the egg has two yolks?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°Kip, please,¡± The troll said, ¡°I¡¯m trying to help here. But¡­ eggs?¡±

    ¡°Kip¡¯s nervous because he¡¯s going to be killed,¡± Zeke said.

    ¡°Really think about it. When given one, you either have two or none. Your choice of words is up to you. I¡¯m sure of all the answers, you¡¯ll make an excellent choice.¡±

    ¡°I feel like you¡¯re trying to imply something,¡± Kip said. Then looking down at Zeke he asked, ¡°Please tell me you have something.¡±

    ¡°Is it¡­ password with a capital ¡®P?¡¯¡± Zeke asked.

    The troll let out a sigh, looking at Zeke for several seconds before saying, ¡°Yes, that¡¯s exactly right. You are welcome to walk through. Unless you¡¯d like to answer my riddle?¡±

    Kip did a little jig out of giddiness as Zeke stomped past the troll onto the bridge.

    Byron yelled to Kip on his way back, ¡°Congratulations on the promotion, Kip!¡±

    Zeke and Kip both ran through the wooden bridge right up the labyrinth''s South entrance. They passed under the statue of a bull¡¯s head and immediately encountered a fork. The wall between the two paths had two windows, boarded by wood.

    ¡°Not the twins,¡± Kip muttered.

    The two wooden doors opened. Two trolls with large noses and floppy ears like a bunny. They wore peaked caps and while one had a big bushy mustache, the other had an equally bushy mustache. The two trolls were identical in every way.

    ¡°Hey, guys,¡± Kip said, ¡°Any chance you could just tell us the right way?¡±

    ¡°One of us tells nothing but lies!¡± The one on the right said.

    ¡°The other tells nothing but truths.¡± The one on the left said.

    ¡°I always forget the answer to this,¡± Zeke said.

    ¡°How often have you fallen into the magma vat?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°Fully fallen in? Never. But there have been¡­ close calls. Lots,¡± The minotaur lost his faraway look and said, ¡°I think it¡¯s on the right.¡±

    ¡°It changes randomly, Zeke,¡± then to the two trolls, Kip asked, ¡°Which way would the other tell me to go?¡±

    And to this, the left one said, ¡°Right.¡±

    ¡°Then we go left.¡± Kip pushed the horn¡¯s of the minotaur so his head was facing left. Zeke stared absentmindedly but started to walk anyway and said, ¡°Why would we go left?¡± He asked, ¡°What if it was the one telling me the truth?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll explain it along the way.¡±

    Zeke walked left and as they exited, one of the twins shouted, ¡°Congratulations on the promotion, Kip! I think you¡¯ll do a splendid job!¡±

    ¡°And I think you¡¯ll do a rather poor job!¡± Said the other twin.

    Kip thanked them and tried not to think about who was which troll too much, lest he start to regret getting complimented. The minotaur and kobold trounced through the labyrinth. Kip would pull Zeke¡¯s horn to and fro, left and right.

    ¡°It was a clockwork named Sprocket. He¡¯s a pyramid with a wheel on his head. He said the nastiest stuff about you, Kip. I tried to defend you but some of the stuff he said was true!¡±

    ¡°Thank you for trying, I suppose,¡± Kip said, ¡°Do you know where he is?¡±

    ¡°I do. Take me to my boss room!¡±

    ¡°Do you not know where it is?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°No even a little. I¡¯m shocked I make it back to my room every night.¡±

    ¡°Wait¡­ how long ago did you lose your key?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°Uhh, about an hour after your promotion was announced. Then, I went to find you but¡­ I couldn¡¯t find my way out of the maze.¡±

    ¡°That was a day and a half ago, Zeke¡­ Your boss room is this way.¡±

    Kip knew every inch of that labyrinth. His brothers once dropped him off in the middle of it when he was too young. He cried and whined and walked all around, constantly stumbling his way back to the same spot as before. It wasn¡¯t until a helpful giant man-eating spider found him that he was delivered safely to his mother again.

    Kip led Zeke through the maze, careful of deadends, wrong ways and most importantly, set traps. Zeke¡¯s clumsiness caused him to set off a dart trap but the darts were rebuffed by Zeke¡¯s tough hide. When they finally got to the boss¡¯ room they saw what could only be described as a reverie of the new clockwork king. The automatons were faced toward the center of the room. Every automaton followed the beat perfectly, half of the automatons would drop with their arms up and after a beat stand up with their arms down. The other half would be doing the same thing but in the reverse. They were all a perfect distance from each other, and acting as a cohesive unit, worshipping their new king at the center of the room. Much too big for a single clockwork, Sprocket, the pyramid clockwork with a gear running through his head, sat on Zeke''s throne, staring over his kingdom of order.

    ¡°Sprocket!¡± Kip screamed over the crowd as best he could, but Sprocket did not pay attention, he was too busy ruminating over the dazzling display of his subjects.

    ¡°Please, Sprocket!¡± Kip jumped off onto the floor. Everyone¡¯s internal mechanism hummed at the same time, creating a kind of dazing buzz inside the room like a bug in your ear that you could not swat away.

    ¡°SPROCKET!¡± Kip yelled loud enough. Sprocket lifted his hand and like¡­ clockwork, everybody stopped and faced in the same direction. Toward Zeke and Kip.

    ¡°Sprocket!¡± Kip said, ¡°Give Zeke back his keys.¡±

    ¡°We are the guardians of the labyrinth.¡± Sprocket said.

    ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± Kip replied.

    ¡°The guardians of order!¡± Sprocket continued, ¡°Now that there is no order, it is up to us to reestablish. We must reorganize. There will be¡­ a restructuring.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a hostile takeover,¡± Zeke whispered, ¡°We get a few of these every couple of years. Normally the Dark Lord shuts it down and well¡­ that¡¯s you.¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± Kip said, ¡°So what do I have to do?¡±

    ¡°Easy. Reestablish order.¡±

    ¡°And that means¡­¡±

    ¡°Kill him.¡±

 Ch 4: Kip vs The Clockworks

    ¡°K-kill someone?!¡± Kip stuttered, ¡°I¡¯ve never killed anyone in my life!¡±

    ¡°Perfect!¡± said Zeke, ¡°This guy basically doesn¡¯t count. He¡¯s not even real.¡±

    ¡°I heard that!¡± Sprocket said.

    ¡°He heard that but he doesn¡¯t feel any type of way about it,¡± Zeke said.

    ¡°No longer will we be under the thumb of this large oaf! We will build our own society out of this great labyrinth!¡±

    ¡°Maybe we can work with you? And help you with this labyrinth society?¡± Kip said.

    ¡°The labyrinth is only the start! We shall establish ourselves, then build our numbers and soon spread to the other floors!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not good,¡± Kip turned to Zeke, ¡°Can¡¯t you be the one that kills him?¡±

    ¡°No can do,¡± Zeke said, ¡°It''s like these little guys said, this is about order. I could smash Sprocket but then someone else would just take his place. You gotta get in there. Do you want my axe?¡± Zeke showed Kip his axe. The blade alone was as big as Kip. Kip remembered what Azami had said about his combat score being zero and his biggest issue being indecision. Sprocket narrowed his eyes at Kip as Kip mulled it over. Eventually Zeke got bored and broke the silence.

    ¡°Look, buddy,¡± Zeke said, ¡°Davorin is going to be brutal. No amount of sugarcoating from the bog witch is going to make this any less of a mess. Learn to get your hands dirty. Start small. Kill the clock guy.¡±

    Every one of the clockwork people stared. Their buzzing still penetrated the entire boss room, it bounced off the tile walls. The discordance stung Kip¡¯s sharp earholes.

    ¡°Do you have a weapon I could actually hold?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°I might have a toothpick I was using.¡± Zeke reached into the pocket of his shorts and pulled out a sharpened stick, small enough for Kip to hold. Kip grabbed the stick and climbed downward off of Zeke¡¯s waist. The clockworks all stared at him. As he approached, the clockworks moved out of the way, allowing Kip entry into the circle around the throne.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to fight,¡± Kip said.

    ¡°Then submit!¡± Sprocket said as he got off his throne and approached.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to do that either.¡±

    ¡°Then die.¡± Sprocket said. He grabbed a metal pipe with gears strung through the end of it, making a dangerous shillelagh. Sprocket and Kip met. Sprocket was smaller than Kip but stared down his opponent with the intensity of an entire clock tower. Kip¡¯s nervousness permeated every pore in his body. Zeke sat so on his hands and knees so hard it caused a thump in the room and Kip and Sprocket were lifted in the air a little before settling down.

    Why am I so scared? Kip wondered, He¡¯s a number. He shouldn¡¯t be that hard to defeat even if I haven¡¯t seen combat.

    The clockwork served an important function in the labyrinth. They were known as ¡®the numbers.¡¯ They were easily replicable fodder that could overpower an enemy after long enough, but were mostly meant to wear them down for higher levels like Zeke. Kobolds were also often considered numbers as well; however, kobolds were generally stronger than clockwork. Generally.

    Sprocket twirled his shillelagh. The gears bristled on their pipe causing a sound like shaking keys. He took on a battle ready stance.

    ¡°I challenge you by the articles of Succession to a one on one fight. First one to lose consciousness is considered the loser.¡±

    ¡°Oh good, you don¡¯t want to kill me.¡± Kip said with a deep breath.

    ¡°I will kill you.¡± The clockwork said, ¡°Death is a cessation of consciousness, is it not?¡±

    ¡°I- oh,¡± Kip said, ¡°I suppose it is.¡±

    ¡°Then let us begin,¡± The clockwork said, ¡°Would this circle between the other clockworks be acceptable, or would you like a different location?¡±

    ¡°Here is fine.¡± Kip said.

    ¡°MISTAKE DETECTED!¡± The clockwork said as he leapt at KIP. Kip stepped backward but his hands felt the wall of clockworks. He turned and saw the emotionless face of a clock with three hands on its face. When he looked back at Sprocket, the shillelagh came down. Kip rolled out of the way and slapped Sprocket with his makeshift spear. The clockwork showed no sign of pain or slowing down.

    Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

    ¡°You gotta use the pointy side!¡± Zeke said with his hands around his mouth, ¡°The pointy side, Kip!¡±

    Kip turned the spear and jabbed at the pyramid. The pyramid ducked and Kip¡¯s spear went through the space in the gear in his head.

    ¡°MISTAKE DETECTED!¡± Sprocket said as he slammed his shillelagh against Kip¡¯s knee. Kip let out a gasp of pain and fell to his injured knee. Sprocket stood back up, now over him and stuck his bludgeon up. Kip held the toothpick to block but Sprocket¡¯s weapon broke right through that. Kip threw one of the sticks right at the clockwork¡¯s face, it was undeterred. Kip ran backward but there was less space to run to than before. It was as if the longer the battle went on, the more they shrunk the field.

    Kip turned back, then looked at Zeke, ¡°What the hell am I supposed to do?!¡± Kip demanded.

    ¡°The gear in his head!¡± Zeke said, ¡°You¡¯re supposed to stop it!¡±

    Kip looked up at the gear rotating out of Sprocket¡¯s point. The kobolds were the ones in charge of repairing the clockworks. He looked at the structure of Sprocket holding the shillelagh. Sprocket¡¯s shoulder was a ballpoint, meant to give him a higher range of mobility. Originally, his elbow was too. But time wore on. Parts were lost and difficult to replace so the kobolds made due with what they had. The intersection between Sprocket¡¯s forearm and upper arm was now a hinge joint. Kip had noticed this. He approached the machine and made sure to take one step too far.

    ¡°MISTAKE DETECTED!¡± Sprocket leapt forward and slammed his shillelagh down, but Kip had quickly shifted his weight to the right. Sprocket slammed the stone floor and Kip grabbed the machine¡¯s arm.

    ¡°Mistake detected,¡± Kip jammed the remainder of the toothpick into a hole right under the joint. It caused Sprocket¡¯s arm to seize up and remain completely straight.

    ¡°AH!¡± Sprocket yelled, it whipped its shillelagh but with its limited mobility, Kip was able to pin the arm to the ground with his foot. Kip pulled out his multi-tool and lifted the screwdriver. Kip jammed his screwdriver in the pinhole in Sprocket¡¯s shoulder and unscrewed it.

    ¡°Desist immediately!¡± The clockwork yelled.

    ¡°You first!¡± Kip said. Kip fully cranked his screwdriver enough that it caused the screw to untighten, then Kip spun it around while the clockwork reached around its back to try to grab at Kip¡¯s neck. Kip finished unscrewing. Sprocket attempted another swing and his entire arm flew off.

    ¡°Do you yield?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°That is not how the Articles of Succession work!¡± Sprocket said, ¡°We are in a fight to unconsciousness!¡±

    ¡°How DO I make you unconscious?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°You¡¯ll have to kill him!¡± Zeke yelled from his sitting position.

    ¡°The oaf is correct. You will have to cease my very existence.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ don¡¯t want to do that.¡±

    ¡°MISTAKE!¡± Sprocket yelled as he slapped Kip in the face with his other hand. Kip stepped back, his hand gripping his face. When it felt wet, he checked his palm.

    ¡°Blood?!¡± Kip yelled, he looked up to see that Sprocket had attached metal nails to his fingers to act as claws.

    ¡°I have made modifications.¡± Sprocket explained. Then Sprocket pressed the sides of the lower base pyramid and blades came out. Sprocket grabbed the base and twirled it, his face remaining detached and steady from his base form. It created a whirlybird of blades that now approached Kip.

    ¡°Dude, you don¡¯t have to be so kind to the guy,¡± Zeke said, ¡°It¡¯s going to get you killed. Just grab the gear and rip it.¡±

    ¡°I dare you to try!¡± Sprocket said as he approached Kip. Kip turned but there was nowhere to run. The circle of clockworks had shrunk tight. As Sprocket ran at Kip, the kobold placed his foot on top of one of the clockworks.

    ¡°What are you doing?¡± The clockwork asked.

    Kip kicked off, launching himself over Sprocket as Sprocket collided with the clockwork wall. Kip landed on his belly but scrambled up before Sprocket could turn around. Sprocket¡¯s blades were stuck in his clockwork comrade. Kip used the opportunity and grabbed the gear on Sprocket¡¯s head to stop it from turning.

    ¡°That¡¯s it, brother!¡± Zeke yelled, ¡°Now yank it out! Don¡¯t worry. It won¡¯t feel any pain!¡±

    ¡°Is that true?¡± Kip asked the clockwork.

    ¡°I do not have to tell you the truth! But it is true. One of the many reasons we are the next step in evolution and make- ahHHH!¡± Kip placed his hand on the clockwork¡¯s head and began to pull the gear out, but it was nestled tightly.

    ¡°Keep going, Kip! It¡¯s just trying to trick you!¡±

    Kip kept pulling, he could feel the gear starting to budge by whatever mechanism held it together. With one last rip, Kip would have it.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Sprocket. But like you said, you won¡¯t feel any pain or emotions right?¡±

    ¡°Tell my automaton wife, I found her most compatible.¡±

    ¡°Oh lord,¡± Kip said as he pulled the gear out. Sprocket¡¯s blades stopped turning. His remaining hand went limp, and the light left his eyes. The clockworks stopped getting closer. They all stared at their dead leader, then turned around and went back to their stations.

    ¡°You did it, Kip!¡± Zeke said as he got up and approached his little buddy. Kip started picking up all the metal pieces that had fallen to the ground.

    ¡°Hey, you don¡¯t have to pick that up. We can get some of the clockworks to do it.¡±

    ¡°Pass me that gear,¡± Kip said silently.

    ¡°It¡¯s bent.¡±

    ¡°Bend it back best you can, please,¡± Kip said.

    Zeke used his monstrous strength to bend it back to a mostly functioning circle easily. Kip had started reassembling the pieces of Sprocket that had been lost, including reattaching his arm. Kip used the pieces of his multi-tool to screw the arm back on, tighten up the spinning mechanism, and retracted the blades. Then Kip took the gear and latched it back on its axis, even taking out a small tin of oil from his utility belt and squeaking it. Kip cranked the tiny windup inside Sprocket as far as it could go and released it.

    The life came back in Sprocket¡¯s eyes as he said, ¡°But I always wondered what it would be like to be with her sister-unit,¡± Sprocket looked around, ¡°This is not the great garage in the sky.¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s not,¡± Kip said, ¡°It¡¯s the mortal plane. Are you okay?¡±

    ¡°I have lost,¡± Sprocket said.

    ¡°You¡¯ll live to fight another day, Sprocket. But for now¡­ May I ask you a question?¡±

    ¡°Mistake detected. In asking me that, you have posed an unsolicited question¡­ Fine. Go ahead.¡±

    ¡°Why not just say death? You chose to frame your challenge to me as ¡®unconsciousness.¡¯¡±

    ¡°The rhetoric must be clear. Were I to state death, my premise could be challenged, as it is debatable if I am alive. You must be specific per the Charter.¡±

    Kip¡¯s eyes went wide. Stood up and brushed off his overalls, ¡°Zeke, I know how to save my skin!¡±

    ¡°Grenades?¡± Zeke asked.

 Ch 5: Kip Alters The Terms

    Kip rubbed his hand nervously as he waited for people to trickle in. He had holed himself in a meeting room in Castle Inversa, where he sat at a round ovular wooden table. Kip thought it would be nice to have a little something for the people that showed to nosh on, so he had the castle¡¯s baker make some doughnuts and coffee. They had been put out on the tray but as some of the people started pouring in, they would absently look at the coffee and the doughnuts and walk to their seats. Kip greeted them all. He had told everyone the meeting would start at the ninth hour in the morning but it was ten minutes past the ninth hour and still, no Floor Lords had joined him. Only henchmen. Kip kept staring at the door, hoping for one in particular to wander in.

    ¡°Everybody settle in and find a chair, we¡¯re waiting on the Floor Lords to arrive.¡±

    A salamander, taller than Kip, and red with yellow spots grabbed some coffee. He was lightly coated in a fire and sat on the cured wooden chair before saying, ¡°My Floor Lord¡¯s not coming.¡± The heat emanating from his backside caused the chair to smoke, so he opted to stand.

    ¡°He¡¯s not?¡± Kip asked.

    The salamander shook his head as he drank the coffee from a metal chalice, ¡°Sent me in his stead.¡±

    ¡°Hello, very nice to meet you. And your name is¡­?¡±

    The salamander stuck one of his hands out, but Kip was afraid to touch it, ¡°I¡¯m Sal Mander. Fifth floor. Love the coffee by the way. Nice and hot.¡±

    ¡°My coffee''s a little cold,¡± A voice from the other side of the table said. Kip and Sal both turned to see a yeti, sitting in a chair that was creaking under her weight as she held the chalice¡¯s handle between her two fingers, ¡°Can we trade?¡±

    ¡°Sorry,¡± Kip interrupted, ¡°Who is here as a proxy for their Floor Lord?¡±

    Everybody but one raised their hand. None of the Floor Lords decided to come to the meeting. Not even Jymba, the dragon that was on his side when Kip first became Dark Lord. Pfft, Thought Kip, ¡®Dark Lord¡¯ and you can¡¯t even get your henchmen to show up to your meetings. What kind of ¡®Dark Lord¡¯ are you really?

    ¡°I see,¡± Kip said, disappointed, ¡°I had something very important to tell Davorin and I needed someone to act as witness. If everyone here is just a proxy, I suppose we might as well disband the meeting. Thank you all for coming.¡±

    ¡°I am not here in anybody¡¯s stead but for that of the Duerger people!¡± Kip looked up to see a dwarf, pale blue with a shiny white beard and eyebrows and white eyes to match. He had his mining hat in his hands so his blue bald spot absorbed some of the light in the room.

    ¡°Hello there. May I ask for your name and why you¡¯re here?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°Hello to you. I am Baraz Bloodchin. I represent the Duergar of this community. We maintain the tunnels of the Underdark.¡± The Duergar approached and showed Kip an incomprehensible map of tunnels; different lines were labeled in colors along with a variety of types of lines like perforated and dashed and curved as well as blocky. The legend was written in a dwarven language. Kip could make neither heads nor tails nor some third appendage of it. Baraz placed his blackened finger on one of the lines, ¡°Here are the current dwarven pathways. Here are the projected construction areas-¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s this purple line that runs through everything?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s Xrgl¡¯s work. The giant purple worm. We can¡¯t really work with them. But what I really want to point out is this chamber here. There¡¯s a pinch point and it''s lacking sufficient water to that area. That¡¯s an area where a lot of Duergar are resting while we continue our expansion. The burrow above it, that¡¯s the tunnel we use to transfer food from one floor to the next. You see, we could build a spring around it, but the earth would soak it up. We would need to transport a pipe straight through to the water level down to this section of the Underdark. If we could do that, then we¡¯d have water. I¡¯d be most in your debt, Dark Lord.¡±

    Kip studied the map, some of it coming together, most of it staying obtuse. He flinched when he heard the Duergar call him the ¡®DL¡¯ word. When Kip thought about Davorin becoming Dark Lord, he didn¡¯t have faith that Davorin would do these kinds of things. Listen to a miner explain how he needs water. Kip shook his head.

    Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

    ¡°I¡­ want to thank you, Baraz,¡± Kip said, ¡°Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Of course you can route water through the lake above. Everybody needs water. I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me about this problem.¡±

    ¡°Sir, if you could sign on the dotted line, we¡¯d consider us to be in great debt to the new Dark Lord. Dark Lord Kip.¡±

    Kip blushed, glad someone was taking him seriously. He took out his quill from his utility belt, dipped it in ink and asked, ¡°Where do I sign?¡±

    ¡°Dotted line.¡± The duergar said with a mouth-open smile.

    ¡°Which one? There are several.¡±

    The duergar pointed to the exact dotted line he needed to sign, permitting the excavation and installation of a pipe of water from the lake above.

    ¡°So,¡± Sal Mander said, ¡°Is this meeting over? Because this really could have just been a scroll.¡±

    ¡°Uh, yes!¡± People started to disperse immediately, ¡°Which one is here in Davorin¡¯s proxy?¡±

    A Thrall in a stuffy coat with overgrown pointed teeth raised his hand.

    ¡°Take me to Davorin.¡±

    The thrall walked the Kobold down to Davorin¡¯s wing of the castle. He grabbed the big ring on the door and knocked it.

    ¡°Busy.¡± Davorin said.

    ¡°Master¡­¡± The thrall looked back at Kip, ¡°Kip is here. He says you missed an important meeting.¡±

    ¡°Who?¡±

    Kip rolled his eyes and whispered to the thrall, ¡°He knows bloody who.¡±

    The thrall said back to the door, ¡°The¡­ new Dark Lord?¡±

    Kip and the thrall both heard a deep sigh through the heavy door, ¡°Tell him I¡¯m sleeping.¡±

    ¡°Master, he knows you ain¡¯t sleeping and can hear you through the door.¡±

    After a moment of concrete silence, Kip stared at the thrall. The thrall shrugged his shoulders. And after another beat, The doors opened on their own. Davorin lounged on a chair, while a man in the toga fed him grapes like he was an emperor.

    ¡°What is it, Kit?¡± Davorin asked.

    Kip said through gritted teeth, ¡°My name¡¯s not Kit. It¡¯s Kip.¡±

    ¡°Is this what you came all this way to talk to me about?¡± Davorin asked as he drank from his glass of wine.

    Kip scuttled forward into Davorin¡¯s chambers. It was frozen in time from when Davorin had become a Vampire. He even had the furniture brought in from the next country over. It was made of a refined wood only found from a tree off the coast of the Mixta Sea. The Dark Lord had been good to Davorin, letting him have a place in Castle Inversa and giving him the title of Floor Lord.

    ¡°I¡¯ve come to challenge you.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve already been challenged, dummy. What is the point of a reverse challenge?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve come to challenge your challenge. I have an issue with your wording.¡±

    ¡°What? You have an issue with me killing you?¡±

    Kip shook his head, ¡°No. I have an issue with killing you.¡±

    Davorin took a pause before biting another grape and chewing it, Kip continued, ¡°You see, you said this would be a one on one to the death. But.. you¡¯re already dead. It is a question of whether or not somebody who is already dead can die again. Is it not?¡±

    Davorin finally looked at Kip. His head didn¡¯t move, just his eyes. They were blood red and shined as brightly in the day as they did in the night. Davorin sent his grapeboy away and stood up on his lounge chair. He placed both his hands on his knees and stared daggers at Kip. Kip shook a little but he knew his foundation was solid. There was a palpable silence before Davorin went, ¡°Go on, then.¡±

    ¡°You can not kill something that¡¯s Undead. Therefore¡­ the terms need to be renegotiated.¡±

    ¡°What are your new terms? To fall into unconsciousness?¡±

    ¡°No¡­¡± Kip said, ¡°There is a huge gap between us. A chasm. An entire canyon.¡±

    ¡°An ocean.¡± Chimed in the thrall.

    ¡°Thank you. If you land one finger on me, I¡¯m dead. And if I land my strongest hit on you¡­ then it will do nothing. So¡­¡±

    ¡°So what? On with it boy, I have a lot more grapes to get through.¡±

    ¡°So those will be the terms. The first person who lays a finger on the other gets the victory.¡±

    Davorin grabbed a handful of grapes and started feeding them into his mouth, ¡°And if I deny, it goes to tribunal. They deliberate and¡­ while I miss our original date, maybe they rule in my favor anyway. Then there really is no hope for you to win.¡±

    Kip gritted his teeth and asked, ¡°Why are you such a bully?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s funner,¡± Davorin popped another grape in his mouth.

    ¡°I think¡­ You¡¯re scared.¡± Kip said it and the air left the room. Kip could feel Davorin¡¯s glare weight on him like gravity got denser. The thrall let out a small gasp and the grapeboy went ¡®oh¡¯ from the other room.

    ¡°Scared?¡±

    ¡°You haven¡¯t left the castle in fifteen years. Not since your fight with the Ducervi. If you become Dark Lord, maybe you¡¯ll never have to leave this dungeon. Maybe you¡¯ll never have to face them again. Maybe you¡¯re so afraid of them that you¡¯re afraid of my little finger by extension. Could that be true? The prince of darkness scared of a measly Kobold¡¯s finger?¡±

    Davorin chewed on the collection of grapes in his mouth. He wiped up the juice from his lip and sucked on his finger. Then, with a deep sigh said, ¡°Fine. I agree to your stupid conditions. I shall beat you at any challenge in any location. Where?¡±

    ¡°The labyrinth! My home floor, before the promotion.¡±

    Davorin slid back into his chair and called back the grapeboy with his hand. The grapeboy came over and Davorin continued his lounging.

    ¡°As you wish, ¡®Dark Lord.¡¯¡± The last two words were seeped with petulance.

    ¡°Great! I¡¯ll see you then!¡± Kip said. And he turned and started to head out.

    ¡°Oh Kit!¡± Davorin called out to him.

    Kip turned back, Davorin was not even looking at him. He had his beaming red eyes closed as he sucked down grapes, ¡°Just because the rules have changed does not mean I will not kill you on the battlefield. Enjoy the rest of your time alive.¡±

    ¡°Th-thank you,¡± Was all Kip said before turning around and walking away.

 Ch 6: Meet The Duergars

    ¡°So¡­¡± Azami held her wand over her plants, letting water spill out of it, feeding her herbs, ¡°You¡¯ve got the terms readjusted and it¡¯s on your home field,¡± Azami said, ¡°Now¡­ you have to create a situation where he can¡¯t touch you. For if he does¡­ you¡¯ll perish.¡± Azami said as she plucked a sprig of thyme and held it up to Kip¡¯s nose, who inhaled it, ¡°Are you still worried?¡± Azami asked.

    ¡°Uhm, yes. Mostly of dying.¡±

    ¡°Ahh, that,¡± Azami held it to her nose, inhaling deeply, ¡°I love the smell of thyme.¡±

    ¡°So¡­ I¡¯m curious, is there a potion that you could give to me that could make me¡­ more equipped to handle this?¡± Kip asked, ¡°Maybe some kind of invisibility potion or something that keeps him at a distance? A spell, perhaps?¡± Kip¡¯s voice getting more desperate as he listed more magic, ¡°A portent? I¡¯ll even take an ungent or a cream. I¡¯ll take a suppository at this point if it makes me stronger.¡±

    ¡°I could do,¡± Azami said, ¡°But if I gave you a potion and it was the exact right one and it managed to evade the vampire¡¯s expert senses then your subjects would think you only won with my help. Most don¡¯t think you¡¯re right for this role. This is something you need to do yourself. To prove, not just to Davorin, but to everybody that you can do this.¡±

    ¡°How?¡± Kip asked, ¡°Nudge me in the right direction. What would you do?¡±

    ¡°Intruders leave plenty of magical weapons and armor behind. I suggest you find some that have been collected and you wear one that would help.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a good point,¡± Kip said, ¡°Where is the most magical equipment collected?¡±

    ¡°Most people can not survive in the fourth floor,¡± Azami said, ¡°The vast connection of dark tunnels and no immediate way out means that a lot of intruders perish in the Unending Underdark.¡±

    ¡°Then tunnels. Thank you, Azami! Uhm, Azami?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Kip?¡±

    ¡°You said most people don¡¯t believe I¡¯m right for the role. Do you believe I¡¯m right for it?¡±

    Azami smiled at Kip, then reached out and plucked a marigold out of its stalk and placed it on Kip¡¯s hoodie. Its shiny golden color added a little pop to Kip¡¯s earthen red tones.

    ¡°I came here to live a simple life. I wanted to tend to my herbs, practice my dark magic and live peacefully. If you can grant me that, you have my fealty.¡±

    Kip had a knot in his stomach as he asked the question at the top of his mind, ¡°I don¡¯t have your fealty now?¡±

    ¡°You have my faith, Kip. But loyalty is earned.¡±

    Kip gave a nervous head nod and walked toward the fourth floor. The Dark Lord¡¯s Dungeon was a vast place. Within it, there were many tunnels and entrances meant for intruders to find, like an invisible hand slowly guiding a rat through a maze. But sharing those thoroughfares for delivering resources and transportation with intruders would place the safety of the dungeon in too much danger. As such, many service entrances were put into place. Kip searched for one such entrance. He arrived at the start of the lake and knocked around the different trees until he eventually found the right one. A hearty oak with a notch that looked like a smiley face. He opened it and slipped into the wooden tunnel that led to the underdark.

    As Kip walked further down the supply chain tunnel, two enchanted bears were pushing a cart of meats, berries, and vegetables down a track.

    ¡°On your left, Kip!¡± Said one of the bears.

    ¡°Hi, Ho, Kip!¡¯ Said the other. They raced past him on the minecart and turned the corner. Kip gave a wave as he walked their same direction at a slower pace. He turned the corner and walked into a wall made entirely of fuzz.

    ¡°Oh, sorry!¡± Kip said and looked up and saw the bears that had just waved at him.

    ¡°Kuma? Bjorn?¡± Kip asked ¡°Why¡¯d you stop?¡±

    ¡°Uh, there seems to be a problem,¡± said Bjorn, the one in front. ¡°Maybe you can help, seeing as how you¡¯re the new boss and all.¡±

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    Kip walked forward and saw a wide metal pipe from the ceiling down to the floor. It ran right through the track, blocking the cart¡¯s potential access to the lower levels.

    ¡°Oh my,¡± Kip said, ¡°This won¡¯t do at all. We have to get to the bottom of this.¡±

    ¡°We better get this figured out quickly,¡± Kuma said, ¡°If we can¡¯t get this food to the castle, people aren¡¯t going to be able to eat.¡±

    ¡°Why in the lord¡¯s name would they run a pipe right through?¡± Kip looked at the bears, ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but until this is solved, one of you will have to run down and get another cart and transfer the food!¡±

    ¡°Right away, boss,¡± Said Bjorn as he galloped along the tunnel on all fours.

    Kip touched the pipe, closing his eyes and creating a starting point. He walked down the tunnel and began a mental map in his head. As he made his way through, he visualized an imaginary red line following him, making sure to maneuver himself under the tunnel so as to find the pipe. After some false ends and doubling back, he was on the right track. Kip was in some far off eastern wing that was not visited by intruders or monsters often. As he approached, he encountered something peculiar. There was a small opening, big enough for him to fit through but not most medium sized creatures. Steam drooled out of the entrance.

    More curious than the steam was the music and laughter that could be heard from the dark room. Kip followed the raucous gaiety and his eyes bulged out of his head when he saw them. Naked Duergars bathing in a tub made of carved earth filled with hot water. They were laughing, slapping each others¡¯ backs, singing and drinking from big goblets. They were all settled into a tub, so entranced in their revelry that they didn¡¯t notice Kip show up.

    ¡°What¡­¡± Kip mumbled, ¡°What is this?¡±

    ¡°MORE WATER!¡± One of the Duergars proclaimed.

    Kip saw Baraz, the duergar who had shown up to the meeting, reach over and pull a string attached to the overhead pipe. It opened the trap and water burst through the pipe, topping up the pool after the Duergars splashed so much of the water out.

    ¡°What is happening!?¡± Kip spoke up and finally the dark dwarves noticed. Baraz looked at him and pointed, ¡°There he is! There¡¯s the man who made all of this possible!¡±

    ¡°I did no such thing!¡± Kip said.

    ¡°Yah, ya did,¡± The duergar drunkenly grumbled as he extended his hand and looked through his satchel resting on the rockwall behind them, ¡°And I can show ya the paperwork.¡±

    Kip shook his head incessantly, ¡°This needs to be removed at once. The pipe runs right through the supply line. This will affect the food distribution of the entire dungeon. How¡­ if this is coming from the lake, how did you even make the water hot?¡±

    Just then, an orange-red head breached the surface of the hot tub. Sal Mander took a deep breath in and said, ¡°Told you I could hold my breath for a whole minute!¡± Then, upon seeing his boss said, ¡°Oh, hey, Kip! Come to relax after a little Dark Lording?¡±

    ¡°Sal?¡± Kip asked, ¡°They¡¯re using your body to warm up the pool?¡±

    ¡°Yessir! Only these fascists have a zero tolerance policy for pool pissing. Even though I told them my piss is piping hot. What do you say, Dark Lord? Would you let me pee in here?¡±

    Kip¡¯s mouth was agape. He looked up and there was a drop that came down from the outside of the pipe.

    ¡°We need this tunnel for food. As of now, the bears that deliver supplies are personally transferring the food over from one cart to another!¡±

    Baraz rolled his shifty eyes as he took a pull from his chalice. He took a staggered breath as his nose had too many white hairs to properly breathe through, ¡°What¡¯s it going to be? Are ya going to ruin our fun?¡±

    ¡°Ruin your fun?!¡± Kip asked, ¡°This is going to ruin everybody¡¯s fun! This is¡­ catastrophe! This simply won¡¯t do!¡±

    As Kip shook his head, his eye caught something amongst the dwarven mining uniform and armor. Kip¡¯s eyes went straight to a pair of rings. One with a blue band in between the gold frame, and one with an orange band.

    He approached them and picked them up off the shelf, ¡°Where did you get this?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°Ahh, looks nice right? Twas a halfling intruder. Stole our bacon one morning. Tracked him down using a hound. He would escape us until we finally set up a trap and plucked him. Nibbled on his ears for breakfast once we did! Still have a bit of ear left, if you¡¯re hungry.¡±

    ¡°What does it do?¡± Kip asked, holding it up to the blue torch on the cave wall. When he looked through the ring, he did not see what was on the other side. Instead, he saw his own visage from the perspective of his right hand. The hand that held the other ring. Kip did not like seeing how he looked from that angle. When he looked down at his right hand, he could see the blue torch, like a peephole to the blue ring¡¯s perspective.

    ¡°It¡¯s yours, Dark Lord,¡± Baraz dipped under the water until just his nose eyes were above the surface. The water around him bubbled as he absently let out his breath. He pulled his mouth out but his beard remained submerged, ¡°if¡­¡±

    Kip knew what was coming. He hesitated as he was about to consider all the choices that had been laid out to him. The fight with Davorin was tomorrow. The terms had changed but the danger was still the exact same. One touch. That was all Davorin needed. As far as Kip was concerned, anything that minimized the chance of being touched once would eliminate it. Damn that pesky article 4. It was about the very ethos of the Dark Lord¡¯s Domain. Only the strongest survived. Then why.. Pray tell¡­ did the Dark Lord put him in charge? Combat level zero, been on this green and black earth 24 years and had never made it past level 1 only for him to be put in charge. He had a much greater chance of winning if he took the ring. If he wore it. But then again¡­ if he did and won¡­ what would that mean for his rule? A leadership where he accepted gifts in exchange for more power? Would that be the only effective way to lead? Kip snapped out of it as the duergar finished the sentence. The sentence he knew was coming.

    ¡°...Ya let us keep the hot tub.¡±

 Ch 7: Kip vs The Vampire

    Kip shivered as he stared up at the South entrance of the labyrinth. The other kobolds had offered him some armor but Kip refused. Having never worn armor before and wielding miniscule strength, Kip knew the effects of the armor would be detrimental. He would have moved slower, tired quicker, and done little good against someone of Davorin¡¯s monstrous capabilities. Kip was nervous for the fight, but even more nervous at the crowd.

    When The Dark Lord took on this plot of land, it came with an abandoned factory. The walls were ready to come down at any moment, the ceiling was already caved in, and there was a strange smell like old shoe leather that no matter how hard they scrubbed would not come out. When the Dark Lord ordered his subjects to refurbish the factory into a labyrinth, he asked that they create a retractable ceiling. On days where the sun shone, the kobolds would retract said retractable ceiling and allow the mazefolk to bask in the sun. Zeke was appreciative, the clockwork were ambivalent. On a day like today, the ceiling was retracted. For there were so many denizens of the dark that had come to see the fight between the heir apparent and the new Dark Lord that they could not all sit on the edges of the labyrinth.

    Zeke sat amongst the numbers for the roof could not sustain someone so large on top of all the other weight. The numbers cheered, drank, and placed bets. Azami stood on the roof having calmed her nerves with enough herbal infusion tea to sedate a bear. Stormbristle floated in the rafters, gently bobbing. It was his version of pacing around a room. Everyone who could be there that day had decided to come and watch.

    Kip was never one for big crowds. Nor was he one for small groups. He also sometimes struggled with one-on-ones. No, Kip was best left to fidget with gadgets alone within his own head. He revised his plan over and over as a way to escape the constant rattling he heard from everyone around him. He could not block them out when the cheers became even louder. With that, he knew Davorin had entered the North entrance.

    ¡°Act.¡± Kip whispered to himself, ¡°It¡¯s a good plan. Act.¡±

    Maeve, a banshee from the swamp, wisped through the labyrinth as her tattered robes waved and flowed behind her. She would go to one wall and raise her hands, that side would cheer. She would travel to a new side and do the same thing, making it her job to rile people up. Her booming shrieks made her the obvious choice to MC this challenge.

    ¡°Creatures and cretins! Boils and Ghouls!¡± Her voice filled the factory, ¡°We have a very lovely show for you tonight! Not for years have the Succession articles been invoked! And now we have the prince of Darkness, the annihilator, Davorin the Unquenchable fighting¡­ Kip!¡±

    ¡°SQUASH THAT LITTLE FREAK!¡± Kip could hear Zeke screaming up above him. Kip looked up, ¡°Zeke!¡± He whispered, ¡°Are you talking about me?¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡± Zeke asked as he looked down, ¡°Oh, Kip! I didn¡¯t know you were here.¡± Then cheering said, ¡°TAKE IT EASY ON THAT LITTLE FREAK!¡±

    The crowd continued to cheer, but when Davorin raised his hand, the mob went silent. Davorin looked through the crowd, then pointed at a goblin, ¡°You booed.¡±

    The goblin looked around but realized he was the one being referred to. He pointed at another goblin but Davorin shook his head, ¡°It was you.¡±

    The Goblin tried to turn away but when he turned back Davorin was right in front of him. Davorin stuck his nail straight through the goblin¡¯s gut. The goblin let out a blood-curdling scream. As quickly as Davorin entered the Goblin, he pulled out and shot back to his place in the North entrance. Kip saw that with his mouth open, how the hell was he supposed to survive that?¡±

    ¡°May we get some medical assistance?¡± The banshee shouted, ¡°Now! Onto the rules!¡±

    The banshee floated around the amphitheater, and made her way back to the center, ¡°The rule is, you must lay a finger on your opponent. A punch does not count. A slap does not count. A finger. The entire labyrinth is the field. This gives Kip a slight home field advantage. But physically, Davorin has the majority of the advantage.¡±

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    You just have to bring my height into it, don¡¯t you, Maeve? Kip thought as the banshee continued, Act. Act. He¡¯s going to use action immediately. It¡¯s not about me. Act.

    ¡°And now¡­ we¡¯ll begin!¡± Maeve said.

    Kip psyched himself up, as ready as he could be for what was about to go down, ¡°Move. Move.¡±

    ¡°3¡­

    2¡­

    1¡­ Go!¡±

    Kip darted into the labyrinth. The banshee described what was happening. ¡°And now, Kip has escaped into the dungeon! He¡¯s moving through with purpose! But what''s this? Lord Davorin has not entered the labyrinth at all! He¡¯s still standing at the entrance. What could this mean? Could he be scared to go in?¡±

    Kip heard this but kept running. He had determined a couple of choice pinch points in the labyrinth that would work to his advantage, hoping to meet Davorin there.

    Davorin stood there as everyone¡¯s initial cheers quieted down with suspense. Davorin leapt atop the twelve foot labyrinth wall with ease. He hopped along the walls as gracefully as a deer jotting through a field. His foot never slipped or missed the edge as he maneuvered his way to the middle room.

    ¡°And he¡¯s standing dead in the middle, everyone! He¡¯s just¡­ standing there next to the exit, crossing his arms, not doing anything!¡±

    Kip stopped running, he could not see atop the walls. Davorin was in the middle?! The exit? In the middle room was a giant hole that led to the floors below, made for Intruders to head down. What could Davorin want there? Could it be a trap?

    ¡°It is not lost on me that there is a difference in skill between my opponent and I,¡± Davorin said to everybody, ¡°I have considered my enemy¡¯s¡­ limitations and have determined that to proceed without handicap would be bad sport. I shall give you precisely five minutes, Kit. Five minutes where I do not lay a finger on you, and you have a free chance.¡±

    ¡°The magnanimous Davorin is giving the new Dark Lord a fair shake! He is standing in the middle of the Exit room, giving him an open invitation to touch him! One has to wonder if this is a trap¡­¡±

    ¡°This is not a trap. I¡¯ll be reading while I wait,¡± Then Davorin took out a book he¡¯d stuffed in his breast pocket and sat on one of the armchairs against the wall.

    A free shot. Kip ran toward the middle as he thought. Five minutes. That was not a lot of time. Kip wriggled through a gap in the walls and went onward. There would be no need to play such a cruel trick. Davorin could easily best him. This must be a sincere consideration after their confrontation. Maybe it was meant to mock Kip but that didn¡¯t mean Kip couldn¡¯t take full advantage. Kip ran toward the center. When he entered the Exit room, he half expected to be torn limb from limb. But no, there Davorin was, right where he promised he¡¯d be. Lord Davorin sitting in a chair next to the west entrance, reading his book.

    ¡°It¡¯s about time.¡± Davorin said, ¡°I was just getting to the end of my chapter.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s your game?¡± Kip asked.

    The vampire smirked but did not look up from his book, ¡°I thought I was the mouse in your game? Was I not?¡±

    ¡°A free touch? Really?¡± Kip asked, half scared to approach.

    ¡°Time¡¯s running out,¡± Was all he said as he flipped the page.

    Kip ran around the large hole in the floor toward Davorin. The vampire sat there, a smug expression on his face. Kip ran as fast as his little legs could carry him, he reached out, closing his eyes wondering if this would all be over and¡­ his hand touched the felt of the chair. He opened them. Davorin was in the chair next to it.

    How did he mess that up? Kip looked at the chair confused, then closed his eyes and did the same thing.

    ¡°Old chap, you really are not going to do well in this fight if you keep your eyes closed.¡±

    Kip opened them again. Once again his hand had touched the bare chair. He looked up and Davorin was standing, next to the chair, his nose still in that little book he was reading. Kip reached out and touched him but Davorin stepped backward. Kip leapt forward as quickly as he could but Davorin took the necessary step back, keeping the gap between the two of them.

    ¡°Oh, did you think I would give up the challenge for free? You still have to try a little.¡±

    Kip lunged with one hand, Davorin took a step to the right, Kip lunged with his other hand, Davorin took a step to the left. Kip kept at it, pushing his hands to and fro. Davorin, as if knowing his moves ahead of time, would be able to move out of the way in the knick of time. Kip was learning the game, and had had enough. He kept at it until Davorin had found himself against a wall, then with both hands, Kip pressed down on him. Davorin leapt up, clearing Kip, then gingerly pressed his feet against the wall and flipped around so that Kip was at Davorin¡¯s back. When Kip swung himself backward with his arm out, Davorin had once again stepped forward.

    He won¡¯t let me touch him but he¡¯ll move in perfect opposition to me, Kip thought to himself, It¡¯s a game of negative space.

    ¡°Four minutes, Kit.¡± Davorin said, before licking his finger and changing the page on his book, ¡°Ah, my favorite part. The cliffhanger.¡±

    And with that, Kip had his plan.

 Ch 8: Kips Plan Is Set?

    Kip propelled himself toward Davorin. Such a direct attack caught Davorin enough off guard that he looked up from his book as he jumped backward to avoid being touched. The large hole to the floor below was to Davorin¡¯s right. The North entrance was further down, to Davorin¡¯s left. Kip stayed on Davorin left, pressing him on the side of the hole until Davorin was against the room¡¯s north entrance, then Kip dove closer to the side of the hole, this caused Davorin to evade out of the Exit Room and step into the hallway. Kip smiled. His plan was working..

    Kip veered left toward the door and approached him at a -30 degree axis. It pushed Davorin further right, into the North¡¯s 700th corridor, which was approximately three twists and turns from it. Kip ran toward him and even leapt toward Davorin, he landed on his belly with his arms stretched out. Davorin daintily stepped back onto a false tile. The floor crumbled beneath Davorin¡¯s feet revealing a metallic grinder whirring as the two cylinders crushed the plastered tiles. Davorin was up in the air before the tile fell, he turned into a series of bats and reconvened on the other side of the trap. Kip and Davorin watched as the book Davorin was carrying with him did not survive the trip. The little red square dropped into the spikes, eaten by the mechanical teeth.

    ¡°My favorite book,¡± Davorin hummed, slightly annoyed.

    ¡°I¡¯ll get you another when I¡¯m lord again,¡± Kip jumped over the spikes and struck Davorin, who stepped backward with full attention. Kip pushed harder, occasionally glaring at his wristwatch. Time was running out. He needed to move faster. They reached a four way intersection of the maze, Kip danced with Davorin, who had caught wise to the kobold¡¯s machinations. Kip knew this place much better than Davorin could. Not only had Davorin barely visited, but he had not been topside in fifteen years. There was a familiar feeling that crept up into his throat that he had not felt since the last battle he¡¯d fought. Just for a moment. A dash of¡­ helplessness. Davorin suppressed it instantly. He was a Floor Lord after all. And Kip was a pipsqueak. Davorin knew he was being led, and needed to react accordingly. Wherever Kip would block, Davorin would then go in the opposite direction. Which meant for Davorin, the solution would be to avoid being touched but go in the exact direction Kip didn¡¯t want him to go down.

    Kip leapt forward and to the right. There it was. As Kip reached out, Davorin took a step back and front dove over Kip, rolling on the ground and picking himself up. He had not needed to do a roll in a good long while and brushed the dust off his sleeves.

    Kip stood there, looking back at him, Davorin noticed the goofy smile on the kobold¡¯s face, ¡°Oh, don¡¯t act like you planned that. This is just some dumb bluff.¡±

    ¡°I thought it was you who was playing a game, ¡®Old Chap.¡¯¡± Kip pushed forward. As Davorin stepped back, it seemed like Kip had gotten taller. Then Davoirn took another dodge backward. Kip had not gotten taller. Davorin was just on an incline. Davorin stared up at Kip. His green eyes shone as they both lost the warmth of the sun above, Kip led them to the subterranean hallway of the labyrinth.

    ¡°Looks like they¡¯re going below!¡± The banshee cried from above, ¡°Up until this point, it seems like we¡¯ve seen the vampire have complete control. Now, I''m not so sure. It seems that Little Kip was leading the vampire somewhere. There has yet to be any contact. But as it stands, the minutes that Kip has are dwindling. With our vampire lord trapped, does Kip have an opening to beat our Floor Lord??¡±

    Davorin scoffedt. Kip approached him, pushing Davorin farther back. Now in a closed hallway, Davorin could not clear a path past Kip. If he tried to race past Kip, Kip could merely reach his hand out and touch Dvaorin by accident. That would not do for Davorin, nor his reputation. Davorin turned and looked at the pathway before him. It was a short stretch of hall with about three doorways on either side, as well as a doorway at the end. He turned to Kip and said, ¡°You¡¯ve fared well, Kit. But alas, my time as an inactive participant is all but over. I will abide by my promise but I shan''t make it easy.¡±

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    Davorin turned and propelled forward at such a high speed, all of the wooden doors in the hallway burst open and slammed against the wall. He was gone. Kip¡¯s mouth dropped, Davorin had used his enormous speed to hide in one of the seven doors. It was a one in seven chance.

    Kip walked toward the door, starting to panic. His wristwatch told him he had less than a minute. He started shaking, knowing that if he went fully into the wrong doors, Davorin would use that as an opportunity to escape. He needed to think.

    Statistical analysis. But most importantly, statistical analysis and then act. Would he be hiding in the door at the far end? Not likely. It was the farthest away, and it would give him the least chance to escape. If he went to that one, he¡¯d be trapped. What next? He thought about the first two doors. They were relatively unlikely. In Davorin¡¯s mind, Kip would likely check one of those two doors with the time remaining. Kip crossed them out as locations Davorin would hide. That left the four between the first row doors and the door at the end. They could be any one of those.

    Kip approached, he needed Davorin to go through the first door on the right. Davorin was likely waiting for Kip to choose a wrong room and jump away elegantly. Kip shook his head as he walked up between the first rows of doors, he thought.

    The chance of him going in any of the four doors puts his odds at about 25%. But everything after that would be an out and out guess. The wrong door and Davorin escapes. Act. Act. Act. 25% was not high odds but he needed to make a decision.

    That was when it connected with Kip. He didn¡¯t have to choose the right door with the option for 25%. He actually had a 75% chance of choosing the right¡­ wrong door.

    Kip ran up and chose the first door on the left. He opened it and slammed it. Then he stepped back, still in the hallway and stood close to the first set.

    He waited. What was the chance that he chose correctly? If he did, then Davorin would step out and see that Kip did not walk in. Which meant Davorin could just play for time. Kip tapped his foot nervously, staring at the other three doors, commanding all his will not ot turn around and run through the room he had chosen.

    But then¡­

    The door to the top right slammed against the wall again. There he was. Or at least¡­ he had announced himself. Kip stood next to a potted plant that had died. He stayed there, covering his body. Davorin stepped out, Kip held his breath. Davorin made notice of the closed door and burst toward the exit. Kip hopped out.

    ¡°Yahhhh!¡± Kip did his best to sound intimidating and while it didn¡¯t work, Davorin was, nevertheless, caught off guard. Kip came from the left, causing Davorin to escape exactly where he needed to go. The first door on the right. Kip ran over, and he stood there at the doorway. Davorin was in his natural habitat. The pure darkness. The only thing Kip could see as his eyes adjusted to the light were those menacing red eyes that Zeke mentioned.

    Almost, Kip thought.

    Kip stepped forward, ¡°Thank you for the fair fight, Davorin.¡± He said as he took another step, ¡°You know I couldn¡¯t beat you even if I tried. Even if I had nothing but time and could exercise. So you gave me a fair shake, I appreciate that.¡±

    Davorin¡¯s chuckling gave way to laughing as Kip got closer. There was no escape for Davorin in this position. The walls were too narrow and the ceiling too low for Davorin to run. Kip took another step, wood creaking slightly under him. When Kip¡¯s eyes had fully adjusted, Davorin had a smile on his face. Kip stopped moving, his foot still over the tile.

    ¡°Something funny?¡±

    ¡°Kit¡­ you went very far,¡± Davorin said, ¡°You almost earned my respect.¡±

    ¡°You know my name,¡± Kip muttered.

    ¡°But you¡¯re completely out of time. And it¡¯s like you said, you¡¯re completely outmatched.¡± The timer Kip set on his wristwatch rang and Davorin used his lighting speed and reached out to touch Kip.

    Kip¡¯s reflexes were too slow to stop him.

 Ch 9: Quick Reflexes Are Not Everything

    Kip closed his eyes as Davorin¡¯s hand jetted toward him. Davorin¡¯s smile grew on his face, his fangs flaring in the low light. In the brief interlude of time, Kip¡¯s mind wandered. Had he timed it right? Was he in the right room? Did his plan work or was he about to have his head ripped off by a single finger?

    A small snap went off under Kip¡¯s foot. Davorin looked down, he saw Kip¡¯s little foot on a stone tile now slightly depressed. Davorin¡¯s formidable speed allowed him to process information with inhuman quickness. Davorin noticed it in Kip¡¯s eyes. He was looking at something. Davorin stared up at the same thing. A snare trap hidden within the curtain even though the room was underground. Spiked teeth made from the jawbone of an ultramegalodon, taut by a metallic wire, begged to crash down. The stepped tile gave the jawbone its permission and crash down, it did. The teeth sunk into Davorin¡¯s outstretched hand. His finger, a half an inch away from Kip¡¯s eye, was now frozen in place as Davorin resisted for a brief second. Davorin yelled out as the unblockable force of the teeth pulled him down, slamming against the floor and pinning him to the ground.

    Kip caught his breath. Davorin was staring up at him, his arm still pinned, ¡°I was worried it wouldn¡¯t reach you in time!¡± Kip said. He stuck his finger up and, ¡°Thanks, Davorin. Good game.¡±

    Kip bent over and attempted to touch but Davorin was too quick. Davorin escaped behind Kip by pulling his arm off the trap, the teeth of the ultramegalodon ripped his blue flesh and skin off with him. Davorin¡¯s arm dangled against his torso, only holding on by a few threads of sinew. A vampire¡¯s blood was coagulated. Drips of burgundy jelly fell off his exposed wound as he turned around.

    ¡°I¡¯ll admit,¡± Davorin said, ¡°I have a bad habit of toying with my food. Much like a wingless four-legged bat.¡± Davorin kicked the closed door so hard it flew across and shattered when hitting against the shark maw. Kip was nowhere to be found¡­ Davorin went over and examined where the spring trap had been hiding. Behind a curtain, nestled inside of a wall. He reared his head in and looked up, only to see the tiny red dragonling wriggling his way in between the space of the wall, climbing up.

    ¡°Blast it.¡±

    Davorin shot out of the lower level up to the light again. He leapt up to the top of the labyrinth wall and looked at the crowd.

    Maeve circled overhead, ¡°It seems whatever scuffle happened underground, somehow Kip managed to detach the Dark Lord¡¯s arm! Truly amazing! Could this sneaky power be why the Dark Lord chose Kip as his successor?¡±

    Davorin spotted a beefy goblin. Bigger than most, and a whole lot of blood. The beefy goblin whispered to his friend, ¡°Is he lookin at me?¡±

    The goblin next to him said, ¡°I think you better go.¡±

    ¡°I paid good money for a spot this close, I¡¯m not lea-¡±

    The goblin felt the subtle plunge of Davorin¡¯s two teeth into his neck, and it was lights out.

    Davorin¡¯s arm connected back with his torso. He pumped his fingers and stretched his limb. Just like new. He turned his attention to the labyrinth. Davorin closed his eyes. His heightened hearing would normally do him good if people weren¡¯t surrounding him and cheering.

    ¡°The prince of darkness has drained a goblin dry and has rejuvenated his arm! What could this mean for the tides of battle? Will Kip just rip this arm off as well?¡±

    ¡°QUIET!¡± Davorin had cast no magic, and yet a spell fell over the entire labyrinth. Every monster who had just seen him mercilessly drain the goblin of blood knew not to speak. The monsters in the bottom row dared not even breathe. And with that, Davorin could finally hear clearly. Mostly people struggling to hold their breath, but the frothy crinkling sound of clothes as someone snuck through a tiny wall space.

    ¡°There.¡± Davorin said.

    He leapt over the walls of the labyrinth and could hear Kip climbing up and out of the hole. His smile came back as he looked down at his prey¡¯s hiding spot. Davorin began stepping lightly. He looked up at the banshee circling the skies and placed his blue finger on his lips. The entire lower floor audience did not disobey.

    Awful quiet, Kip thought, Awful awful quiet. Kip could look out of his crawl space and while could not see any of the monsters over the walls, he noticed Maeve flying overhead, for some reason not commentating even though it was her job.

    The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

    Kip opened up his scroll. Ever since his bout with the clockwork, a notification had popped up.

    <table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 6.56799%; background-color: rgba(233, 199, 159, 1); border-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 1); border-style: groove" border="1">

    <tbody>

    <tr>

    <td style="width: 100%">Level: 2</td>

    </tr>

    </tbody>

    </table>

    New abilities available:

    <ul>

    <li>

    Shimmering Scales: +5 Defense (Needed for Daggerous Scales upgrade)

    </li>

    <li>

    Dragoneye 1: Low Light vision (Needed for Treasure-vision upgrade)

    </li>

    <li>

    Burst: Higher Jump (Needed for Dragon Wings upgrade)

    </li>

    </ul>

    He had held off on choosing, as he was unsure which would aid him most for this battle. But now he knew. He selected his power and crawled out of the hole.

    He walked as a lamb to the slaughter, letting Davorin think he got the best of him then uttered his first ever combat ability, ¡°Burst.¡±

    Kip leapt into the air, higher than he had ever jumped. His arms flailed as he was not used to this great height. As his body flipped he could see Davorin¡¯s arm where his body used to be. Kip had successfully escaped the vampire¡¯s lurch. Kip took off a clay sphere from his belt and coughed a single spark on it. The fuse lit and Kip threw it at Davorin.

    ¡°Aw, hell yeah,¡± Said Zeke, watching excitedly from the crowd. He turned to the giant boa constrictor next to him and said, ¡°That was my idea.¡±

    The grenade came down on Davorin who caught it. He looked up and went, ¡°A pathetic little incendiary devi-¡±

    The device exploded, aerosolizing the water soaked in garlic all over Davorin.

    Kip fell back down. Kip approached Davorin cautiously, as the vampire grappled with the garlic. Bent over and covering his face.

    Davorin was doubled over as he said, ¡°My eyes, my nose¡­ I¡­ HATE garlic! It¡¯s my least favorite root!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s actually a bulb,¡± Kip said.

    ¡°I think I know the what classification of my least favorite root is.¡± Davorin said as he looked up at Kip, not a foot away. Kip jabbed with his finger. Davorin was gone. He had been replaced by a series of bats, flying around Kip, then rejoining into Davorin¡¯s corporeal form behind Kip.

    Davorin said, ¡°I think playtime has long been over, don¡¯t you?¡± Davorin flicked Kip with his foot, Kip was thrown backward and collapsed against the wall with a portrait of the dark lord mounted. He fell down and the picture toppled onto him. Davorin picked up the picture and slammed it over Kip¡¯s head. The fabric tore around poor Kip, pinning him in place.

    ¡°You can at least admit I put up a good fight!¡± Said Kip.

    ¡°No. No, I don¡¯t think I will.¡± Davorin smacked Kip, who spit out blood from the force of the blow. It toppled him and the canvas ripped as Kip fell further down the painting.

    Davorin dropped his knee down on Kip¡¯s neck. Kip gasped for air and unlocked another garlic grenade from his pouch, with the give from the canvas, he held the grenade up to his mouth and coughed on it. Davorin kicked it and it flew so high it flew up into the air, exploding as Maeve wafted through it.

    ¡°We will not be using that again.¡± Davorin said.

    Kip looked around, there was slow ooze in the next room over. There was magma two rooms down the left. There was a trap door that led to spikes just five feet away, but it wouldn¡¯t help. It would only delay. This was Davorin, the unquenchable. Davorin who held off the Ducervi. Kip rustled into his pocket.

    ¡°And to think, you could have quit. Or abdicated. But know, a little worm like you didn¡¯t know his place.¡±

    Kip squealed and gagged and it almost sounded like words.

    ¡°What¡¯s he trying to say?!¡± Maeve yelled to the crowd, ¡°What are Kip¡¯s final words?! If you¡¯re going to kill him, at least let us hear his final words! Maybe an apology? And if so, to whom?!¡±

    The whole crowd started to rile up again, begging Davorin to show him an ounce of mercy. Davorin sighed and let off just enough pressure for Kip to speak.

    ¡°What is it?¡±

    ¡°I said¡­ I could have given up like you, right?¡±

    ¡°What are you on about?¡± Davorin snarled.

    ¡°After the battle with the Ducervi¡­ you hid. For fifteen years. This is the first time you¡¯ve even been topside. I¡¯m proud of you, even if it took you this long.¡± Kip grabbed the ring from his pocket.

    Davorin¡¯s breathing grew deeper and unrestrained, ¡°I¡¯m going to twist your neck. I¡¯m going to keep you alive too. You¡¯ll be an invalid. Unable to use your hands and legs. I don¡¯t just want you dead anymore. You¡¯ll be broken for talking back to your new Dark Lord.¡±

    Kip dug the other ring out too. He flicked the other ring as far as he could just as Davorin stuck his finger out and lifted it up. Davorin¡¯s finger began to glow red with power imbued in it.

    The other ring twirled and skipped along the ground a mere two feet away, having gotten too much of an upward arc to keep going. But¡­ as if by some magic. Some divine force¡­ some nudge of a bog witch¡¯s wand¡­ the ring got up and rolled a few extra feet away. Kip put the first ring on.

    Davorin slapped against the ground so hard, it caused a divot that punctured the earth and the surrounding tiles crackled into a spiderweb of destruction. Davorin looked at his hand, there was no tiny kobold squashed under there. Instead, he lifted his nail and felt the cool metal of a flattened ring left behind. He looked at it, and felt Kip¡¯s touch on his back.

    The vampire had lost.

 Ch 10: A Level Up, A New Threat

    The crowd had fallen to silence. Every monster was unsure if they were seeing what they were actually seeing. Maeve threw her head back and despite the reek of garlic in her nose shouted, ¡°KIP HAS WON THE CHALLENGE!¡±

    All the monsters in attendance, from the lowest goon to the largest droog cheered at the startling upset. Davorin was surrounded by cheers of his failure as he lay shrunken on one knee. He turned to look at Kip behind him. Kip was standing so they were at eye level.

    Kip huffed, puffed, smiled and said, ¡°Good game, ay?¡±

    Davorin said nothing. He merely stood, took two steps forward and turned into bats. All his bats flew out of the skylight, escaping into the cold light of day.

    The banshee floated down, her feet stepped on the ground and she reached down to pick up Kip¡¯s fist.

    ¡°Still stink like garlic, love,¡± Kip murmered.

    ¡°Better than how you smell all the time,¡± The banshee whispered to him, they both kept smiling as the banshee addressed the crowd.

    ¡°Let¡¯s hear it for Dark Lord Kip!¡±

    ¡°Dark. Lord. Kip!¡± The crowd cheered.

    ¡°Dark Lord Kip!¡± The banshee yelled.

    ¡°Ah, so you do know how to hold someone¡¯s hand.¡± Kip said.

    ¡°Dark. Lord. Kip!¡± The banshee wailed, then to Kip whispered, ¡°My love language isn¡¯t physical touch. You know that.¡±

    ¡°DARK LORD KIP!¡±

    ¡°No, right. It¡¯s ¡®gift-giving.¡¯ What a convenient love language to have, ay love?¡±

    ¡°Shut up, I¡¯m making you look good. You need the help.¡± Then to the crowd, ¡°One more time! DARK. LORD. KIP!¡±

    ¡°DARK LORD KIP!¡±

    And for a single second, Kip basked in the glow of the people chanting his name

    Deep on the greens of the Fierce Forest, in some tiny crook of wilderness, was a hidden grove. When invaders or adventurers, if you¡¯d like, passed through the area, they were likely to miss the grove. It was wholly unmarked and largely unknown to the newer residents of the Dark Lord¡¯s domain. Were anyone to pass upon the tiny grove, they would notice three headstones in the center, surrounded by red spider lilies that Azami was kind enough to help maintain. One was a white headstone, hugged tightly by unbreakable vines, all dotted with poisonous thorns. The second was the repurposed masthead of a ship. A siren with fangs and tears in her eyes. The third was a simple wooden cross made out of two sticks tied together. This was a place of mourning. A place of quiet. A place that Davorin had not visited in at least fifteen years.

    The bats coalesced into one distraught Davorin. He approached the gravestones and sat down on the ground in front of them, his hands on his knees. He looked up at the sun, covering it with his hands. His body was sensitive to the sunlight, so he didn¡¯t get out much. That was what he told himself. That was why he idled away with his goons in the upper floors of the castle, waiting for some intruder strong enough to reach the castle so he could get squashed by Davorin.

    But the truth was in front of him. If he left Castle Inversa¡­ he would either visit the graves¡­ or not visit the graves. And that was a choice he could not make.

    ¡°I thought I might find you here,¡± A voice called behind him. Davorin need not look back. He¡¯d heard wings flapping from miles away, too lost in thought to realize they had been approaching him.

    ¡°Jymba,¡± Davorin said.

    Jymba did not approach, he stayed on the edges of the grove, ¡°It¡¯s been a long time since they¡¯ve been gone, hasn¡¯t it?¡± Jymba asked.

    ¡°The little twat won.¡±

    ¡°He earned it.¡± Jymba said.

    Davorin let out a breath, ¡°I suppose so.¡±

    Jymba watched Davorin¡¯s normally quaffed hair, shaggy after the fight, rustle as he shook it.

    ¡°He won fair and square,¡± Jymba said, ¡°Using your rules.¡±

    ¡°How can I face any of the denizens of the dark now? How can I face him now.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not even sure when you¡¯ll face him again.¡±

    Davorin shook his head, ¡°Abandoned us. Abandoned us and left a plumber in his stead. How could he do this?¡±

    Jymba stayed silent.

    ¡°He did not tell you anything? Said not a word where he might go?¡± Davorin turned back to look at him. The old dragon was in his human form, resting idly against a tree as he shook his head.

    Davorin stood up, ¡°Why don¡¯t I believe you?¡±

    Jymba could see through Davorin¡¯s cold red eyes, ¡°Why are you so afraid to ask the real question that troubles you?¡±

    Davorin flinched, ¡°Answer it then.¡±

    ¡°Ask it then.¡±

    Davorin and Jymba stared at each other. Jymba gave a soft smile that meant to put pressure on his colleague.

    Davorin said, ¡°I¡¯ll challenge the little rat again. I will eviscerate him. I¡¯ll tear his head off. The location needs to be mutual. I gave him the edge last time...¡±

    The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

    ¡°Davorin,¡± Jymba said in a soothing voice that only pissed Davorin off more.

    Davorin scoffed. Then he took a deep inhale, ¡°I was foolish to go easy on him. He took advantage of my generosity. Next time¡­¡±

    ¡°Davorin there are more important things for your rein.¡±

    ¡°Not to me.¡±

    ¡°There is one positive to Kip¡¯s tenure as Dark Lord.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°It got you out of the castle.¡±

    There was a devastating silence between the two. Davorin looked over at the three gravestones. He went over and rubbed the top of the masthead, ¡°This place was meant to be a haven for the damned.¡±

    ¡°It still might be.¡± Jymba said.

    Davorin scoffed again, but this time it felt forced to him, ¡°You like to act so wise, meanwhile you breast your cards better than anyone.¡±

    ¡°I can answer if you¡¯d like,¡± Jymba said.

    ¡°Go on.¡±

    ¡°You are still wounded, I think.¡± Jymba said, ¡°Still not fully healed after your battle with the Ducervi. Kip, he¡¯s fresh. His naivete, under a different name, is optimism.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not what I asked and you know it.¡±

    Jymba¡¯s smile was large and toothy. His belly rustled as he chuckled and he said, ¡°You are not brave enough to ask the right question. Maybe I am not brave enough to give the wrong answer.¡±

    And with that, Davorin turned back into bats and flew away, back down to his room in the Castle Inversa.

    ¡°New powers.¡± Azami said with wonder.

    Kip shook like a leaf as he examined his scroll. He was staring at three choices, while Stormbristle, Azami, and Zeke stared over his shoulder. His level now read ¡®3¡¯, and he was being granted new abilities.

    Stormbristle nudged Kip with his snout, ¡°You¡¯re going to need what makes you strongest.¡±

    ¡°I understand that, Storm,¡± Kip said, ¡°But fact of the matter is, I¡¯m exceptionally weak. As much as I need to use some levels to hone my strength, I need to spend a little more time getting stronger physically. For now, my strategy needs to rely more on evasion and cunning.¡±

    The three choices read:

    <ul>

    <li>

    Tiny Horns: Charge attack does double damage (Req. for Curled Horns)

    </li>

    <li>

    Fiery Breathe: Cast Firebolt once per hour without mana) (Req. for Fiery Blast)

    </li>

    <li>

    Wings 1: Fly for three wing flaps and glide for 20 seconds. (Req. for Wing 2)

    </li>

    </ul>

    ¡°Woah.¡± Zeke said as he looked at Kip¡¯s new potential abilities.

    ¡°I know,¡± Kip said.

    ¡°Which will you choose, My boy?¡± Stormbristle asked.

    Kip looked through the three choices, ¡°I¡±m¡­ not sure.¡±

    Azami shook her head, ¡°Treat this decision with care. Most dragonlings don¡¯t ever get this far.¡±

    ¡°They don¡¯t?¡± Kip asked.

    Azami shook her head, ¡°They¡¯re numbers, Kip. They die quickly. Many stay level 1 when they die. So few make it to their draconic traits and the strongest kobolds rarely make it to level ten.¡±

    ¡°Come on,¡± Zeke said, ¡°It¡¯s gotta be horns. Trust me, Kip. These things are awesome. Hard to get through doors. That¡¯s the one problem. Sometimes bigger guys grab them. But the charge attacks are unreal damage-wise.¡±

    They mulled it over as things most of the monsters hung out in the labyrinth. The post fight glow burned into a festive flame. It was rare for there to be so many people from different floors mingling with each other. Everyone began talking and some even started drinking. It was the Duergar. The Duergar had started the drinking but the idea spread fast to the other races.

    Kip let out a sigh, ¡°Did you all know I was afraid of heights?¡±

    ¡°You never ride on Swiff,¡± Azami said.

    ¡°You threw up before I lifted you to my shoulder,¡± Zeke said.

    ¡°First I¡¯m hearing about this,¡± Stormbristle said, ¡°Although you did once ask me how I ¡®could stand it up there¡¯ while I floated two feet above you. So there were signs.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s most Kobold¡¯s dream to fly. We look up at Jymba or some dragon that occasionally passes above and grow ambitious. But me, I¡¯m terrified.¡±

    Kip pressed the option for Wings 1.

    ¡°Kip, I think you pressed the wrong option, buddy.¡± Zeke said, ¡°Unfortunately, there are no do-overs. That¡¯s why I got two tails, now.¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t an accident Zeke. I pressed ¡®Wings.¡¯ Even though I¡¯m scared¡­ I want to be able to show all the other Kobolds¡­ the ones who are still level one, that they can get their wings too. Even if it means only gliding for a little. Even if it means bringing a barf bag.¡±

    Azami smiled, nodding along with the young Kobold.

    ¡°Say¡­ growing wings isn¡¯t painful is it?¡±

    Azami, Stormbristle, and Zeke all exchanged glances. Kip smiled at them, then his face cracked and he doubled over in pain. He howled as the wings grew in. Nubs peeked out from his back and ripped through his clothes. Then they sprouted feathers. That was more painful than the nubs. It felt like two hundred pricks of a needle but they were starting from the inside of the skin. Kip shouted naughty words as the pain continued but eventually the wings had grown.

    Kip huffed in pain, ¡°Amazing. How do they look?¡±

    Davorin walked up from the floor. Kip looked over, ¡°Davorin!¡± Kip scuttled after him on his tiny feet. Davorin had a knapsack slung over his shoulder and stared at the little critter coming by. ¡°Davorin, look!¡± He showed Davorin his wings.

    Davorin stared at them, unperturbed.

    ¡°I got to level 3 after winning the fight!¡±

    ¡°Congratulations.¡±

    ¡°Thank you! Oh! I have something for you!¡± Kip said as he reached into his messenger bag, he took it out, ¡°It¡¯s the book that fell into the trap! It got mangled a good deal but my workshop is in a hidden room in the labyrinth so I was able to sneak away and rebind it! Some of the pages are missing but you said you already read it so¡­¡±

    Davorin picked up the book and examined it, ¡°You did this¡­ after I tried to kill you.¡±

    ¡°Davorin, we both want the best for this domain. Every member of every floor wants what you want. They just want to be treated with a little dignity as well. If¡­ you can spare it, of course. But¡­ you¡¯re still one of our strongest and I can¡¯t do this without you! What¡¯s with the bag?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll have to do this without me.¡±

    ¡°Pardon?¡±

    Davorin put on his large brimmed hat and his sunglasses, ¡°I am leaving to find the Dark Lord. I shall check every crevice and nook and frankly, cranny if I have to. Although I doubt the dark lord is in a cranny. But I will return.¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ I honor you on your journey! When will you return?¡±

    ¡°I may not challenge you again for two months. In two month¡¯s time I shall return and challenge you again and¡­ show you no mercy and kill you. Ta-ta, Kip.¡±

    And with that, Davorin turned into bats and flapped away, leaving Kip shaking in his boots at the sudden threat.

    Kip looked up as Davorin disappeared into the horizon, ¡°You don¡¯t think he means it, do you?¡± Kip asked Azami.

    ¡°Yes, Kip. I think he means it. Or maybe he thinks he does.¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ He called me by my name! That¡¯s an improvement, I suppose.¡±

    Kip turned around, admiring the party, ¡°Now¡­ let¡¯s enjoy the party! Let¡¯s drink, party, make some mistakes! Maybe one of us will hook up with an ex tonight!¡±

    ¡°None of my exes are here¡± Stormbristle asked.

    ¡°Mine neither,¡± Zeke said.

    ¡°All of my exes and future husbands are dead by my hand,¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Still, maybe one of us will hook up with an ex tonight!¡± Kip said giddily.

    ¡°KIP!¡± Somebody called to Kip. Kip turned and saw Baraz Bloodchin, the Duergar miner, appear. His face was bloodied and he staggered forward. Everyone at the party turned to see the commotion. He collapsed, his life escaping him with every breath.

    ¡°Kip¡­¡± Baraz repeated, ¡°A troupe of intruders have made it all the way to the Underdark.¡±

    ¡°But¡­. but¡­¡± Kip stammered, ¡°Impossible! We were all here! Guarding the entrance!¡±

    ¡°Not just that, Kip..¡± Baraz said, ¡°Their symbol. Carved into their armor¡­ banners¡­ it¡¯s a two headed Stag!¡±

    Kip¡¯s red scales paled. The Ducervi had entered the dungeon.

 Ch 11: The Ducervi

    Kip closed his eyes as he gripped Ismelda¡¯s wings. The harpy had sailed into the large hole in the exit room; she navigated the tunnels of the underdark as best she could.

    How on Earth did they make their way through? Kip thought to himself, We were all in the labyrinth! Unless they found some other way in.

    Kip was so busy wondering how for a brief minute he had forgotten ¡®who.¡¯ The intruders happened to be a band that belonged to the most dangerous mercenary company.

    ¡°What¡¯s the plan, Kip?¡± Ismelda asked as she plunged into the abyss. She opened her wings wide and flew into a cramped crevice.

    ¡°West tunnels. West tunnels,¡± Kip thought to himself, ¡°West tunnels. First act. West tunnels. First act.¡±

    Kip remembered what Stormbristle said shortly after the Duergar interrupted the party. Kip had just retracted his wings and was rightfully panicking. His panic caused some of the other people to panic. Their panic made Kip panic more. And so on.

    ¡°Kip,¡± Stormbristle said to Kip, ¡°This is your first act as leader. You must lead.¡±

    ¡°How,¡± Kip asked, ¡°Why? When?¡±

    ¡°Now. How? Not sure. Why? Because the Dark Lord had faith.¡± Stormbristle said, ¡°What should we do?¡±

    Kip nervously looked around, the chance of getting something wrong caused his stomach to rumble with nervousness. Baraz was being healed by Azami, but what about the ones that didn¡¯t make it out? Who else was down there? Had someone already died?

    ¡°Ismelda,¡± Kip cleared his throat, ¡°I need you to take me somewhere, please.¡± Emersa stepped up but Kip held his hand out, ¡°I need you for something else.¡± The other harpy turned to look at him, cocking her head in a bird-like fashion. He looked around, ¡°Everyone who belongs to the lower floors, make your way there at once! In your respective groups. Zeke, follow close behind. Where were they?¡±

    Baraz breathed heavily as he continued to be treated, ¡°By¡­ the hot tub¡­¡±

    ¡°You have a hot tub?¡± Azami asked, jealous.

    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ amazing¡­ or at least it was. Before them.¡±

    ¡°That hot tub is the only reason I¡¯m standing here,¡± Kip said, ¡°Let¡¯s all move!¡±

    It took everyone a second to realize they had been given orders from such a tiny chap but after Kip repeated himself they were on their way.

    Kip jumped on Ismelda and they headed over. Emersa had followed into the Underdark but diverged per Kip¡¯s instructions.

    Kip was forced back to the present as Ismelda flapped her wings to land.

    ¡°You¡¯re landing?¡±

    ¡°Space too thin.¡± Ismelda said, ¡°I would if I could but I can¡¯t. Don¡¯t you know?¡±

    ¡°Sorry, Ismelda. Thank you for your help. If you see Zeke on your way back to your floor, point him in my direction. Do you think Emersa will get to Xrgl in time?¡±

    ¡°My sister is the fastest harpy I know. Second fastest, actually. Only to me.¡±

    Kip nodded his head and bid adieu as Imersa traveled back the way she came. The caves were getting more cramped. Kip recognized this way as the direction of the hot tub. The area he was in was a small clearing that had a tiny rocky underpass.

    Kip crawled in as slowly as he could. It was eerily similar to the same scene as when he was last there. Fog permeated into the underpass. He could hear mirth from the other side. The difference was instead of mischievous orcs, it was a gang of half-naked intruders, laughing inside the water. And eerily similar as before¡­ There was Sal.

    ¡°Sal?!¡± Kip asked. All of them turned to look at the young kobold. Sal¡¯s gaze revealed real fear in his eyes. One of them, a day dwarf, immediately took out an axe from under the water. Kip raised his hands, revealing that he had nothing but his tool belt.

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    ¡°Ahh,¡± Said one of the members in the tub, ¡°It¡¯s just a kobold. They¡¯re more scared of you than you are of them.¡± The member was human. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Lithe but well muscled and more importantly a mustache and goatee combo that made Kip a little jealous he couldn¡¯t grow hair follicles.

    The dwarf placed his axe back under the water, ¡°Ain¡¯t scared of nothing, Cassios. Specially no kobold.¡±

    ¡°Hello there. I¡¯m¡­ Kip.¡± The kobold spoke nervously, almost forgetting his name. He looked around the room. Take stock. Immediately, Kip thought. Distract. Wait for backup. Enclosed room, a tiny opening meant for dwarves.

    The four intruders chuckled, The dwarf spoke up again, ¡°Gave itself a name, has it?¡± Then he said, ¡°Why don¡¯t you run along to your little master. Make sure they know we¡¯re here. We¡¯re coming for the Dark Lord¡¯s head.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m curious,¡± Kip said, ¡°You two have the two headed stag symbol. That means you¡¯re mercenaries. Why go after the Dark Lord? Surely, there¡¯s no price big enough for the trouble.¡±

    ¡°What business is it of yours?!¡± The orc said, splashing water on Kip as she kept her arm around the rim of the tub.

    One male human. One male day dwarf. One elven female, possibly half. One female orc. The dwarf still had almost everything on in the water. Including his helmet. Classes? The female elf was likely a caster. Dwarf could be a warrior.

    ¡°Uh¡­ well.. You see.. I¡¯m the new Dark Lord.¡±

    They all looked at each other, wondering when Kip was going to say, ¡°Just fooling! Let me go get the real Dark Lord.¡± They waited and waited and waited but Kip did not do that. He merely said, ¡°That¡¯s right. I¡¯m the Dark Lord.¡± When they realized Kip was not making a joke, they all burst out laughing, Kip¡¯s seriousness making the joke even funnier.

    ¡°It¡¯s alright,¡± Kip said, ¡°It is a bit silly.¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Zeke crawled under the incredibly low ceiling. Zeke shouted out from behind the underpass. He could not fit his body through it. Kip realized he had made a mistake, recruiting a mob boss from the wrong floor. Zeke got on his hands and knees, unable to further his gargantuan body into the smaller hot tub room. Even if his main body could somehow snuggly fit, his horns prevented him from getting him to the door, ¡°I heard what you said about my boss, that¡¯s not FREAKING cool.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s alright,¡± Kip said, ¡°It really isn¡¯t a big deal, Zeke.¡±

    ¡°This guy just crushed Lord Davorin a few hours ago. Prince of Shadows. The Unquenchable. Kip made absolutely light work of him. Not joking. Flew away. Total wuss. Davorin, not Kip.¡±

    Once again, the lack of a joke being told made the joke all the more funny. They all exchanged glances and pointed at tiny Kip as they tried to imagine him beating Lord Davorin in a fight.

    I was just explaining to the kind people that the Dark Lord they¡¯re seeking is no longer here!¡± Kip turned to them and smiled, clasping his hands like he worked in hospitality, ¡°And that your guess as to where to find him is as good as mine. With that being said, I hope you all enjoy your time in the hot tub. I would love to get you all the food and drink you would need on your journey and assure you a safe passage upward, out of these floors.¡±

    ¡°Wait,¡± Cassios said as he pressed his wet hair back, ¡°you¡¯re telling me that the Dark Lord and the Unquenchable are not guarding the castle floors?¡±

    ¡°Uhm,¡± Kip looked around nervously, ¡°What makes you say that?¡±

    ¡°You did,¡± said the Orquette, ¡°You said the old Dark Lord isn¡¯t here and the guy on the other side said that Davorin isn¡¯t here.¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ I¡¯m not sure¡­ Zeke was really speaking out of turn.. I don¡¯t¡­ uh...¡±

    Everyone looked around, ¡°If the two biggest threats are not guarding this dungeon, that means its spoils are ours for the taking. Correct?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ ahh¡­ Uhh¡­¡± Kip¡¯s brain started moving quicker than he could act. Weapons behind him. Only the dwarf had his axe on him. Kip had to move quickly. These people were mercenaries. Extraordinary ones at that. If the stories told of the Ducervi were true, they¡¯d make quick work of the Underdark¡¯s numbers. Running was an option, but then what? Sal was still being held as a personal campfire. Kip knew what he would have to do.

    ¡°I think what Kip¡¯s trying to say¡­¡± Sal started.

    ¡°Burst!¡± Kip sprung toward the dwarf. Kip¡¯s claws were out, and his jaw was opened. The dwarf laughed, ¡°Typical monsters.¡± He threw up the broadside of the axe from under the water. Kip collided with the broadside and attempted to wrap his hands around it, but The dwarf shifted his axe to the right, it sliced Kip¡¯s arm and then the dwarf pressed on the elongated handle, forcing Kip back. Kip¡¯s lower half clipped the bottom of the hot tub and he fell on his back.

    For a third time, everybody in that room laughed at him. Sal was the only one who did not. Everybody stood up, and when Sal tried to join, the orc pressed him to sit with her hand.

    ¡°I¡¯ll give you two options, rat.¡± Said Casios, ¡°You speak eloquently and tried to reason with us. You can carry our things while we slaughter our way through the dungeon and take the most precious artifacts of each unguarded floor, or¡­¡±

    ¡°I think I know where this is going,¡± Kip said as he stared straight up at the cave wall. He noticed the pipe hanging above all of them, with its trap to only let the water in after the string had been pulled.

    ¡°...Or die by my hands while I¡¯m completely naked. And your lizard friend watches you.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s actually a salamander,¡± Kip said.

    ¡°We¡¯re more like coworkers,¡± Sal said.

    ¡°Which is it?¡±

    Kip and Sal exchanged glances, they were both terrified but an eek of nervous laughter escaped both of them.

    ¡°You find something funny?¡±

    Sal shook his head and Kip kept giggling.

    ¡°Something about my mercy is laughable?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Sal said, ¡°it¡¯s just¡­ we have this saying in the Dark Lord¡¯s dungeon. Kind of a motto, really.¡±

    ¡°Pray tell.¡±

    Kip stared at Casios as he said, ¡°Never make a deal with a human,¡± and jumped up, grabbing the string to the pipe trap and pulling it so hard, it came off the pipe, causing water to rush in.

 Ch. 12: Battling The Invaders

    The cold lake water overflowed the tub. Casios rolled his eyes, perturbed, and the dwarf let out a battle-hardened laugh. The Orquette took a step on the lip of the tub and launched herself toward her weapons. Kip was tucked in the corner, gripping to the wall right behind the waterfall. He screamed out to Zeke, ¡°They¡¯re coming!¡±

    Casios was washed out of the tub. He attempted to grab his weapon but Zeke reached in with his long arm and grabbed Casios¡¯ legs. Casios let out a harumph as he was pulled out of the room. The Orquette, who was by the weapons, tossed the rapier toward the human being pulled, ¡°Cassie!.¡±

    Casios stuck his hand up and the handle gracefully fit in his palm, like a team working in perfect unison, ¡°Thank you, Raka,¡± He said lazily.

    Zeke pulled Casios into the wider tunnel with one hand and slammed his fist down on him with the other. Casios twisted his body and pulled his legs apart, springing free from the hold Zeke had on him and having Zeke¡¯s fist slam into the rocks.

    ¡°Ahh!¡±

    ¡°Zeke, I presume,¡± Casios said, ¡°The third floor mob boss. How are you? A little cramped, I suppose.¡± Casios slid his rapier along Zeke¡¯s arm, drawing blood from above his elbow to below his shoulder, ¡°We thought when we slipped straight through to the fourth floor that we wouldn¡¯t have to deal with you.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I wouldn¡¯t wanna deal with me either.¡± Zeke launched his horns at Casios, Casios stuck his rapier, twirled and gently nudged Zeke¡¯s horns into the rock wall, where Zeke was now stuck in the rock.

    The Orquette grabbed her longsword and turned and faced Sal, but the rush of the water was helping them keep their distance.

    Raka grabbed her knife and chucked it at Sal, who dodged. His throat glewed orange and he puffed a ball of fire at Raka, who stuck her longsword up. The blade shimmered orange as the ball collided with it and dispersed, backing Raka into the wall.

    ¡°Fire resistant sword!¡± Sal cried out to Kip.

    Raka stuck her longsword up to slice at Sal but another rush of frigid ice water pushed her down to her knees. The Orc pointed at the burst pipe and said, ¡°Baela!¡± She tossed the metal staff at the elven woman.

    ¡°On it.¡± The elven woman pointed her staff at the burst pipe, ¡°Frios!¡± The beam connected with the burst pipe, covering the hole in ice.

    The dwarf had not been pushed. He¡¯d smartly buried his axe in the wall, and was right next to where Kip was.

    ¡°Well, Dark Lord,¡± The dwarf said, ¡°Not quite the same as the real one, but let¡¯s make it fun.¡±

    He unplugged his axe from the wall and got ready to strike. Kip shouted to Sal, still inside the hot tub.

    ¡°Sal! Heat up!¡±

    ¡°You got it, Kip!¡± Sal¡¯s entire slithering body released an intensely flammable oil. An internal organ inside of him that worked similarly to a combustion engine clicked, releasing a spark and engulfing him in flames. This protective measure was normally meant to have predators and potential dangers be scared to approach, but in a hot tub of water in an enclosed space, it had another unintended side effect. Stealth.

    The heat from Sal caused the hot steam to completely cover the small room. The average person couldn''t see three inches from your face.

    The dwarf committed to his axe strike, but found nothing but rockwall. Kip had escaped, grabbed Sal and pulled him out.

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    ¡°Baela!¡± Dwarf cried.

    ¡°I¡¯m trying,¡± Baela said, ¡°not enough wind current!¡± Baela said through the haze, ¡°Everyone find your way out!¡±

    Kip and Sal slipped into the clearing, the smog pouring out and saw Casio¡¯s blade to Zeke¡¯s neck.

    ¡°Farther than I thought, puny Dark Lord.¡± Casios said. Then, to his team, said, ¡°They¡¯ve escaped! They¡¯re out here!¡±

    Kip looked at Sal then back at Zeke, who was stuck in the rock wall.

    ¡°GPW?¡± Sal asked Kip.

    ¡°Coming soon, I imagine!¡± Kip said.

    ¡°Let¡¯s keep¡¯em busy ¡®til then!¡± Zeke yelled.

    Zeke grabbed the edges of the wall and pulled himself out, taking out a big slab of rock still attached to his horns. He kicked backward, landing a punt right on Casios¡¯ chest and launched him. Casios flipped and skirted along the ground, then leapt toward Zeke. Zeke turned around just in time, placing up the rockwall still mounted on his horns as a shield. Casios¡¯ rapier sliced through it and the rock wall crumbled around Zeke.

    Kip wanted to help, but the rasping sound of a sharp weapon being dragged along the hard ground distracted him. He looked over and as the fog drooled into the larger clearing, he saw a large green muscular woman, holding onto her sword. She picked it up and leapt out, slicing at Kip. Kip jumped backward and fell down.

    Sal shot a big burst of flame from his mouth. A fireball hit the Orc on her back. Kip attempted to scratch but his dulled claws did nothing. Raka punched Kip in the throat. He spun backwards and gagged as he recovered his breath. The Dwarf rolled out next, Sal jumped up and skittered up the wall with his suction cups. He made it onto the ceiling when the dwarf took out a hand axe and tossed it. Sal rushed past its trajectory and it stuck to the ceiling, barely missing his tail.

    He shot another fireball at the dwarf, who proudly stuck his chest out, tanking the fireball shot. The dwarf took a step back from the might of the blast but had held firm, ¡°And I was worried this wouldn¡¯t be fun!¡± Said the dwarf.

    Kip, Sal, and Zeke were outnumbered and outpowered. No GPW in sight. Kip heard that same wretched word again, spoken in almost a sing-songy voice, ¡°Frios!¡± A jet of pale blue light emerged from the steam. Kip jumped up with his hands up. Sal dropped his torso, still stuck to the ceiling. He grabbed Kip¡¯s arms and pulled him upward, avoiding the beam.

    ¡°Wasn¡¯t aiming for you.¡± Baela said as the blue beam hit Zeke square in the back. Zeke let out a cry of pain as his back bristled with frost burn. Chunks of ice crystalized as Zeke fell to his knees. Casios took his blade and sliced open Zeke¡¯s belly. A clean line of red dripped down Zeke¡¯s abdomen and Zeke fell on his hands as well.

    The orc stood up, using her sword as her cane, grabbed Kip¡¯s leg and pulled. Sal tried to resist but she was too strong. Kip let go of Sal and let the she-hulk bring him to the ground, where he let out a large ¡®oof!¡± The salamander dropped down on Raka. Casting himself on fire again. Raka howled as she tried to get Sal off him. The dwarf whipped Sal off with the broadside of his axe.

    ¡°Come on, Raka.¡± he said, ¡°Hold your own. Can¡¯t be making yourself look bad fighting a tiny kobold and a wee gecko.

    She stumbled outward, hands on her long sword. Kip grabbed a wrench from his tool kit and chucked it at her. She blocked it with a broadsword and said, ¡°Tools?¡±

    ¡°Deal with the rabble, Raka,¡± Casios said, ¡°If you can.¡±

    Casios chuckled as he stuck his sword into the neck of the minotaur. The weapon dug into Zeke¡¯s tough hide and he let out a wince as some blood poured down from the blade.

    ¡°How do you all get in here?¡± Kip asked.

    Casios smiled and said, ¡°The lovely Baela noticed the ripples in the water were connected to the pipe. Then she turned us into fishes and we were able to swim down. We met those nasty Dark Dwarves but they were unprepared to deal with us!¡± Casios flipped his hair back, ¡°And with that, we realized we had a shortcut to the fourth floor.

    ¡°That¡­ damn hot tub.¡± Kip winced.

    Cassios kept his sword pressed to Zeke¡¯s neck, ¡°Now, do surrender so we can be on our way. We¡¯d like a guide to show us the rest of the way¡±

    ¡°This is for the best child,¡± the dwarf said, ¡°We¡¯re mercenaries after all. Gold is what we want. Let us have it and we¡¯ll be on our way.¡±

    Kip stuck his hands up as the dwarf put the axe lightly to Kip¡¯s neck. Raka placed her long sword at Sal¡¯s back. The dwarf then lightly said into Kip¡¯s ear hole, ¡°It was a bloody valiant effort. Let¡¯s not waste it, now.¡±

    Kip sighed and placed his hands down. Where was it? The GPW? Just when he thought it was over, he felt it. Deep in his belly. A slight rumble inside of his stomach acid, from the vibrations coming deep in the earth.

    The rumble slowly got bigger and bigger, so much so that the enemies could not ignore it.

    ¡°GPW?¡± Zeke asked through the pain.

    ¡°Oh, yes,¡± Kip said softly.

    ¡°What is that?¡± Said Casios, ¡°GPW? What is it?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the mob boss for this floor. Xyrgl. The Giant Purple Worm.¡±

 Ch. 13: Xrgl The Giant Purple Worm

    Xrgl the giant purple worm wasn¡¯t always purple nor was it giant. Hell, it wasn¡¯t even always a worm. At one point, it was merely a worm egg. Bound to its mother¡¯s lower abdomen, it belonged to a species of giant pink worms that traversed the world eating anything in its path, digesting it and evacuating mulch in its wake like an unstoppable train of god. Xrgl came from a lineage of worms that had created forests and canyons and rivers. It was as proud of its family as its little worm brain allowed. Xrgl enjoyed its time in its mother¡¯s egg sac. While it could not see shapes, the flashing lights that peeked through the trees dazzled it.

    But there was a dark period. Xrgl and its tribe of worms were unknowingly traveling through an endless stretch of blackened tree trunks and ashen skies. Worms navigated through sensitivity to light, so for the rest of Xrgl¡¯s gestation, Xrgl was in darkness. For whatever reason, Xrgl¡¯s brain was bigger than that of the average colossal worm. It was able to feel something no other worm could possibly feel. Depression. It was able to experience limited emotions, and even developed a disturbing attachment to its own mother. So much so that upon its birth, it followed behind her wake closely (It would have been a normal attachment for say a mammal, or higher-level reptile, but for a worm, it made the other worms give it the side eye. (You can obviously imagine how hard that is for a worm to do, given their utter lack of eyes. The vermin side eye looked more like the cranking of its head toward the subject it was side eyeing, making sure the other worm saw, and then turning again back toward the direction of the people place or thing it was eating to turn into mulch. (This was lost on Xrgl, and remembered its place among the other worms fondly))).

    Xrgl was happy until its mother died. This lead to a greater depression than any colossal worm had ever experienced, beating the record set by Xrgl themselves, a few years back when they encountered that long burned down forest. Their mother died by the hands of a famous monster hunter who¡¯s name Xrgl could not pronounce because they did not have vocal cords.

    It caused Xrgl to turn blue, which, because of their naturally pink complexion, caused them to turn purple. Xrgl was a worm, they could not stop moving. They needed to eat what was right in front of them. Even if the thing in front of them was their own mother¡¯s carcass. But for some reason it could not bring itself to do that. But there was many ways Xrgl was not like the other giant worms. It felt things. It cared for its mother. It was purple and not pink. Xrgl did something no worm had ever done. It turned around. It jetted back the way it came and started eating everything on its way back. It encountered worms here and there, but Xrgl was moving one way and the big worms were moving in the opposite direction. The time between them passing was too short for the worms to properly give them the vermin side-eye, although many still tried.

    Xrgl had no clue where it was going. And for the first hundred or so miles, all they saw was the same thing they had been seeing. Destruction. Or decay. Or detritus that had been eaten by their mother, them, or other worms. But as the road stretched, it started to pass by the changes the worms had made. Little sprouts popped up. Trees that had taken the place of the worm droppings they had left behind. As he encountered the shapes of trees and forests, Xrgl was careful to trek around them, or if there was no space, under them. Its presence was not going unnoticed. It would change the direction of underground rivers as well as create the perfect spaces for such underfolk as burrowlings or duergars or even ne¡¯er-do-wells to hide in.

    Eventually Xrgl the worm became known by the underfolk as a great savior. A great creator of escapes. Xrgl could not know the effect it had, because going back in the opposite direction was as much running away as going in the forward direction. Soon it had entered a dense forest. The dazzling shapes of its youth reached it again, unknowingly in the spot that had once brought it great pain. The burned down forest from its time in the egg sac had reformed, in part thanks to its mother.

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    Xrgl felt the presence of someone right in front of it.

    ¡°STOP.¡± Xrgl did not have ears. How could it hear somebody give it a command? It did not have language. How could it comprehend what the creature wanted? But there the presence was, giving it a command. It was like the creature had chosen to enter the worm¡¯s thoughts.

    ¡°Allow me to show you what the worms had wrought. For only a brief moment, you will see.¡±

    The creature put his hand on Xrgl, and Xrgl felt a change all around its body. Eyes sprung up out of the head. Then eyes rippled all along the worm¡¯s long tendrilous body. Sprouting big and small in bunches and in singles, through every ridge, ripple, and divot in the worm¡¯s body right to its tail. Light, more than just a binary of on or off, draped around everything. Peaking through the forest, drenching it, highlighting the color. The color! Xrgl could see everything! It could see the beautiful landscapes, the greens of the trees, the browns of their trunks. It could see everything¡­ and then the eyes closed and disappeared, in reverse order from back to front. The last thing it saw was the imposing figure standing in front of the worm, as its final pairs of eyes closed it all it saw was shapes again.

    ¡°Your people produced the land that would be paradise. And paradise¡­ must be protected.¡±

    Xrgl agreed. It decided it was done moving forward, and it was done moving backward. It would stay in one place. Specifically, under the Lethal lake. In the Unending Underdark of the fourth floor of the Dark Lord¡¯s grounds. It would move through the tunnels, sometimes connecting new ones, rebridging old ones. Trying it¡¯s best to stay out of the other creature¡¯s way. Did it even know it was a mob boss? Did it know it was given the second highest honor? Right under the Floor Lord? Did its limited capacity allow it to understand the higher concepts of status? It was operating on something instinctual. Protect home. And four intruders stood in its way.

    ¡°Really?¡± Raka asked, ¡°How big of a worm?¡±

    ¡°And also¡­¡± The dwarf asked, ¡°Just how purple?¡±

    The tightly packed earth below them started to shake. They felt unsafe. unstable. The little beads of pebbles shuddered along the ground as the worm loomed closer. Kip looked around and at Zeke said, ¡°Zeke! Try to stay alive, buddy! Xrgl¡¯s here.¡±

    ¡°The WORM!¡± Dwarf said, ¡°The purple worm. The protector of bastards and confidence men! Scallywags would pray the worm traveled beneath them for a quick escape!¡±

    Kip and the others watched as a large crack formed under Kip, and traveled all the way to between Zeke and Casios. Zeke was still on all fours, watching as blood bled out of his gut. Casios was distracted by the crack and Zeke used the opportunity to swipe at Casios. Zeke knocked Cas in his head. Casios fell backward. Zeke slammed his fist down on Casios and the ground, which caused the divot to grow.

    ¡°Wait!¡± The dwarf said, ¡°You¡¯ll bring us all down! We¡¯ve got to get out of here!¡±

    ¡°Use the Hearthcard! Raka shouted to Baela.

    ¡°It¡¯s in my bag!¡± Baela said as she rushed back into the small room.

    ¡°Well, bloody GET IT!¡± The dwarf shouted at her, ¡°We¡¯ve got to go.¡±

    Casios spit up blood from his position on the ground. The spit hurled upward, curved and dropped back down at him, ¡°Scared, dwarf? I thought you liked a good fight. Let¡¯s stay and have more fun.¡±

    ¡°Aye. I like a good fight. I don¡¯t like a bad one,¡± The dwarf ran over with his axe and slashed at Zeke. Zeke dodged by tossing his body on the ground next to him. The gaping wound in his gut opened more.

    The shaking was more violent now. Stalagmites were starting to crumble and the parent crack bore children cracks, which bore more children cracks

    Kip looked up at Sal, who had his arms ready for him. Kip ran and jumped, his arms outstretched and grasped Sal¡¯s grip. Sal pulled him up and the crack ruptured. The ground came out from under the four intruder¡¯s feet and they all fell as Xrgl came to protect what it had come to know as its home.

 Ch. 14 The Vertical Battle

    Xrgl spread his mouth open wide, revealing a vacuous tunnel of black. Chunks of earth crumbled inside as Xrgl attempted to wriggle upward. The intruders fell to their demise while Zeke clung to the wall, his cumbersome body halted, blood dripped from his open wound into Xrgl¡¯s mouth.

    Casios sighed as he fell down in nothing but his underwear, ¡°Come, everybody! The dwarf wants to ruin our fun.¡± Casios dug his rapier into the earth and stopped himself from falling. The dwarf tossed a grappling hook, it snagged on Casios¡¯ rapier. The rope ran taut and the dwarf swung from one end of the cave to the other. He grabbed Raka¡¯s hand as she fell. Baela did not need saving. She stuck her staff up and cast a levitation spell, cancelling her fall. She then placed her staff toward the worm, ¡°Indignant Ray¡± A blast of pure pain overloaded Xrgl¡¯s senses. Xrgl let out a monstrous roar and turned to the right, burrowing into the earth next to them.

    Kip cursed to himself as the intruders secured their safety. To Sal, Kip said, ¡°Can you help Zeke?¡±

    Sal shook his head, ¡°Way too big, Kip.¡± Sal said, ¡°Also, Xrgl¡¯s probably never met Zeke. He¡¯s going to think he¡¯s an intruder if he gets into that mouth.¡± Kip sighed and looked down at Zeke,

    ¡°Well, I have to help him somehow.¡± Kip let go of Sal¡¯s hands and dropped, ¡°KIP!¡±

    ¡°Tell Maeve it was never going to happen between us!¡± Kip said as he fell downward.

    ¡°I¡¯ve got a returnstone on me!¡± the dwarf shouted.

    Casios rolled his eyes, ¡°We can not return empty handed. Let¡¯s at least take the minotaur¡¯s head. He¡¯s half dead anyway.¡± Casios pulled the grappling hook off his rapier and dug it into a crevice himself with ease. Then he placed his ear to the cave, ¡°Baela, can you hear anything?¡±

    Baela stayed neutrally buoyant with the air. She took her staff and pushed herself off one side of the cavern to the other. She landed awkwardly, then put her elven ear to the rockwall.

    ¡°It¡¯s circling. It¡¯s going around and twisting¡­ should be about 30 seconds.¡±

    ¡°Plenty of time. Dwarf. Raka, collect yourselves, please. You¡¯re making us look imbecilic in front of the new dark lord¡± Casios winked at Kip as he sailed downward. Once Raka and the dwarf collided with the tunnel wall, Raka leapt off the dwarf and stuck two hand axes out. She dug them into the earth and crawled up. Pulled the axes opposite her feet and dug them in at the same time. She moved with as much agility as Sal did.

    Kip felt the wind pull at him as he fell. Through short breaths he said, ¡°Wings!¡± And wings appeared. They were tiny and feathered and were good for a few bounds, ¡°Come on, Kip. Every kobold wants to do this. Every kobold except you.¡± He covered his eyes and opened his wings. They outstretched and ceased his falling. Kip let himself glide safely to the wall.

    Casios said, ¡°Let¡¯s get this blood bull¡¯s head and head off.¡±

    ¡°If you want my whole head, you¡¯ll have to deal with my whole body first.¡± Zeke said, ¡°Cannonball!¡± Zeke let go of his position on the wall, falling right toward Raka climbing up. Raka¡¯s eyes went wide as the two-ton man bull dropped toward her, bottom first. She attempted to jump to the other wall but was smacked by Zeke. She jettisoned further down into the tunnel. Zeke kept sailing downward toward his demise.

    ¡°Baela,¡± Casios said, ¡°Can you please get Raka. I shall have to finish this brute myself.¡±

    Baela pointed her staff into the darkness, ¡°HOLD ONTO YOUR WEAPONS RAKA!¡± Baela said, ¡°Metalos Iman Mio!¡± A bolt of lighting shocked out of her staff and lit the darkness. The bolt held from her staff onto Raka¡¯s axes like a fluid thread, and began pulling Raka upward.

    Kip would manage to take her down first.

    ¡°How are we on the worm?¡± Dwarf yelled to Baela.

    Baela yelled back, ¡°Kind of busy!¡±

    ¡°I can hear him,¡± Casios said, ¡°Worry not, I touched the gecko earlier.¡± And with that, he touched both his feet to the tunnel wall and stuck to them. Then he ran upward. Xrgl burst through the other side, right where Casios was, missing him but knocking the dwarf¡¯s grappling hook off the wall.

    Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    ¡°The returnstone!¡± The dwarf said as he fell further downward.

    ¡°I¡¯ll be there shortly. But I will not leave this place empty handed.¡± Casios ran up toward Sal.

    Kip clung to the wall, whispering to himself, ¡°Use burst and then you¡¯ve got three flaps upward. Come on, you can do it. You can use your¡­ chewed claws or pitiful sparks to¡­¡± he heard the whistling of wind as a huge boulderous minotaur headed his way, ¡°ZEKE!?¡± The dragonling screamed.

    ¡°Sorry buddy!¡± Zeke said as he fell past Kip, ¡°I ain¡¯t going to no human farm upstate! I know you said no grenades, but I couldn¡¯t resist.¡±

    Kip dodged arielly and as Zeke headed downward, he tossed up a shrapnel grenade, ¡°Property of traps department¡± printed boldly on the side of the bomb that Zeke had chosen to ignore.

    As Zeke disappeared down the well, his voice trailed off as he said, ¡°It would have been awesome¡­¡±

    ¡°ZEKE!¡± Kip yelled. He grabbed the shrapnel grenade out of the air. He no longer just had his nubby claws and dim fire breath, he had a grenade now too. Kip felt the newfound confidence alight in his belly, ¡°Burst!¡± Kip headed upward. Raka was being pulled by the magnetic burst of Baela¡¯s spell. He coughed up a spark and flapped toward them. ¡°One flap!¡±

    As Raka was being pulled, she could smell the dragon approaching. She looked downward. Nothing.

    ¡°Behind you!¡± Called Baela from above.

    The orc turned her head but was hit with a punch from Kip¡¯s foot. He tried again but the orc unhinged her large jaw and bit into Kip¡¯s foot.

    ¡°Ahh!¡± Kip howled in pain. The orc would not let go of his foot. Kip reached over and grabbed her with his claws. He scratched at her but his dull claws did not break her skin. She remained undeterred. No matter what he did he could not harm this person or get her to let go of his precious tootsies. He dug his claws into her bald head and sunk his teeth into her skull. The result was a weakened tooth. ¡°OW!¡± Kip yelled. ¡°Uncle! Uncle! I give!¡± I¡¯ll go!¡±

    The orc spit out his foot, ¡°You¡¯re lucky kobolds aren¡¯t worth anything on the market. Get!¡±

    ¡°Two flaps.¡± Kip burst upward with his wings, moving past Baela. The dwarf had collected himself, perched in some foot holds and fastened into another crevice. He kept his axe up, waiting for the worm.

    ¡°I can hear its rumblings,¡± Dwarf said.

    He stuck his axe out.

    ¡°For the love of the gods, Dwarf, Look downward.¡± Baela said.

    The dwarf did, once again seeing Kip race toward him, ¡°You really don¡¯t know when to quit! I like that about ya. Too bad that gets people killed.¡±

    The dwarf, unlike the other foes, was fully armored. There was not much Kip could do about him. Kip flew up and dodged an errant slash from the dwarf¡¯s axe. Kip leapt over and bit at the dwarf¡¯s foot. The dwarf chuckled as he kicked Kip off. But Kip didn¡¯t come off the dwarf. Kip stayed, scratching and nipping. Being nothing more than an annoyance but doing an amazing job at it. Each punch or kick from the dwarf opened up more wounds for Kip but despite the blood dripping and the contusions forming, Kip persisted.

    ¡°Get outta here or you¡¯ll get us both killed,¡± The dwarf said, ¡°Things are getting serious now, no time to be funny.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not being funny,¡± Kip said, ¡°I¡¯ll keep distracting us until the worm eats us both.¡±

    ¡°Very funny, but there won¡¯t be no distraction. Just a bloody axe through the skull, so.¡±

    ¡°No distraction?¡± Kip asked, ¡°Then what¡¯s that explosion under us?¡±

    The dwarf gave Kip an inquisitive look but didn¡¯t look downward. It was at that moment that the shrapnel grenade that Zeke had given Kip, the shrapnel grenade that Kip had lit, was a half a second from detonating. And it was¡­ in that moment, that Baela was about done pulling the orc by her hand axes up to where Baela was. So when the shrapnel grenade that Kip had stuck in through the orc¡¯s belt loops, exploded, it exploded right when the orc was as close as possible to Baela. The huge orange explosion did cause the dwarf to finally look down. This caused Kip to cast Burst and fly upward, and for Xrgl to stampede through the tunnel and slam into the dwarf, taking him in his mouth. As the dwarf looked up, all he could do was sever the rope he had tied himself to and fall downward, the worm bull rushed into him like a train. It took his arm clean off the shoulder as he continued to fall.

    Kip kept leapt upward, yelling ¡°Third flap!¡± With giddiness as the last burst of flight to him to the a ledge he was safe on. He looked up at the ceiling as Cas jetted downward to meet with his crew.

    ¡°Returnstone, dwarf. Now!¡±

    ¡°Give me a second, I¡¯m a leftie now!¡± The dwarf took out the returnstone as the party fell downward.

    ¡°Sal?¡± Kip looked all over the ceiling and then the wall for the minion. Kip felt a pit in his stomach as he heard Sal¡¯s voice get more distant.

    ¡°KIIIP!¡±

    Kip looked over the ledge. Cas was on fire.

    ¡°Two can play at that power,¡± Casios said. Sal had lit himself on fire, Cas had lit himself on fire right back, in the exact same way that Sal could. Kip wanted to jump off, he wanted to dive down, but his wings had disappeared. Poof, gone. Like they were never there. He could only watch in horror as the crew joined together as they fell through air. The dwarf stuck up the stone and snapped it between his fingers. A great blue light overtook Baela, the dwarf, Raka, Casios, and Casios¡¯ hostage.

    ¡°Salamander meat is a delicac-¡± The blue light took them and they were gone. All of them. The intruders, and Sal.

    Sal was gone.

 Ch. 15: The Advisor Weighs In

    ¡°This has got to be the worst disaster the Dark Lord¡¯s domain has seen since¡­¡± Stormbristle trailed off, desperately thinking.

    ¡°The Constantine kerfuffle.¡± Kip filled Stormbristle¡¯s pause.

    ¡°I was going to say the Van Helsing incident.¡±

    ¡°Oh lord, don¡¯t say that.¡± Kip shook his head anxiously as he jittered in his chair, ¡°We have to do something. I have to do something.¡±

    ¡°An abduction. Cruel. And they said they might eat him. One can only imagine. What on Earth was he even doing up on the fourth floor?¡±

    ¡°The Duergar had built a hot tub. Gods was I stupid.¡±

    ¡°A hot tub?¡± Stormbristle guffawed.

    ¡°Did I hear hot tub?? We going after this? I¡¯ll bring the brews.¡± Zeke gargled from his lying position behind Kip and Stormbristle.

    Kip had his head in his hands. He was waiting outside of the infirmary in the Underdark. A Duergar nurse tended to Zeke¡¯s wounds. They had used an ample amount of sedation on him; somewhere between: enough to kill an elephant but not enough to make an introverted ancient dragon feel welcome at a party where they didn¡¯t know anyone.

    ¡°My mom birthed me in a hot tub. Told me I was the first hot tub baby the clan of minotaur had ever seen. She thought I¡¯d come out with gills.¡±

    ¡°Rest, Zeke,¡± Kip said, patting the big guy. ¡°We¡¯re getting a magic user here as quickly as possible but for now, you need rest.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re the best, Kip,¡± Zeke said, ¡°The old dark lord was cool, but you think he had time to chill with me and talk grenades? Naw. Too busy defending against the light-siders.¡± Zeke closed his eyes, reached his large hands and patted around until he found Kip¡¯s back, and gave him a small pat, ¡°Love you, buddy.¡±

    ¡°Love you too, Zeke,¡± Kip said.

    Kip heard a ding. So did Zeke. Zeke¡¯s eyes opened to his screen in front of him, ¡°Ooh, new level! It¡¯s been a while. Hmmm¡­ Yeah, I just choose bigger horns every time.¡±

    He clicked on the option for horns and they grew ever so slightly. Kip had leveled up as well. He looked over his choices, but he waved his hand and closed his screen, unable to consider the options while consumed by anxiety.

    ¡°We have to save Sal.¡± Kip said, ¡°I have to. But¡­ They were so strong. So, so strong. They nearly killed Zeke. They would have killed me if they thought of me as a threat. Sal was smart to keep running away. I don¡¯t know how but¡­ we can¡¯t just let them take Sal.¡± Kip said.

    ¡°Remember your place, my boy,¡± Stormbristle gently chided, ¡°You¡¯re the Dark Lord. We have no mob boss for the labyrinth. That¡¯s a vital pinch point for intruders. If that¡¯s wide open too many may pour into the lower floors.¡±

    ¡°I know.¡± Kip said.

    ¡°And mind you, Davorin left. No Floor Lord and no final boss? It leaves us vulnerable.¡±

    ¡°I knowww,¡± Kip groaned through his mask of hands.

    ¡°The labyrinth level doesn¡¯t have a Floor Lord. You will need to stay here to interview a new mob boss for the Merciless Maze.

    Kip tossed his hands up in the air. Without having to say it, Kip knew. He leaned backward on his chair, feeling his scaly back press against Zeke¡¯s hairy arm. He nuzzled his back into it and let out a deep sigh.

    ¡°We have to save Sal. It¡¯s not right what they plan to do to him. You should have heard him! ¡®A delicacy¡¯ they said!¡± Kip thought about Casios¡¯ smug expression. The way he was able to climb walls exactly like Casios.

    ¡°How was he able to learn Sal¡¯s moves so quickly?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s probably his boon.¡± Stormbristle looked at Kip¡¯s confused face, ¡°You haven¡¯t seen enough combat, my boy. You¡¯re still so new to this. Some invaders are rewarded with a power if they accomplish some task from a higher entity. Not dissimilar to our system. His boon was likely that he could copy a monster¡¯s ability if he¡­ I don''t know, touched him, or took a bath with him.¡±

    The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

    Kip scoffed, ¡°yes, I suppose that would be rather specific. So they have a system. Same as us. That¡¯s good to know, I suppose. And these heroes will get these boons through a task?¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re given arduous missions to choose from and are rewarded. After a certain amount of levels, they could try for another. For something like his copy, maybe he was asked to slay fifty mimics or eat a changeling¡¯s heart raw.¡±

    ¡°Eat a changeling¡¯s heart?!¡± Kip blustered, ¡°I know they¡¯re not the best dinner conversation but eating a heart feels a bit stark. Wouldn¡¯t you agree?¡±

    ¡°Either way, as we encounter more intruders you¡¯ll have to be down there, fighting them¡±

    ¡°ME?!¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°Yes, Dark Lord Kip,¡± Stormbristle said almost playfully, ¡°You need to keep increasing your level. You¡¯re what the people face at the end of the dungeon. And you¡¯re still not even level 5.¡±

    Kip let out a monumental breath of air, ¡°I have to stay here. It is as you said, there is work to be done.¡±

    ¡°Aye,¡± Stormbristle the clouds around his neck swirled as he nodded vigorously.

    ¡°But¡­ we can¡¯t abandon Sal. I should have made the Duergar dismantle that stupid hot tub.¡±

    ¡°You''re the leader. You need to delegate.¡±

    Kip let out another groan, Stormbristle let out knowing hum, and Zeke let out a long and troublesome snore.

    ¡°Okay. They couldn¡¯t have gone too far, right? A returnstone has a range of.. What? A couple of miles? They might even be at the edge of the Fierce Forest. If so, they¡¯ll likely go to the nearest town. They couldn¡¯t hold onto Sal for long, what with his fire abilities. We can catch up to them.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll put together a list of people I think would be brilliant.¡±

    ¡°Pleeaasssssse. Allow me.¡± A withering whisper came from behind Kip and Stormbristle¡¯s shoulder. They both looked and saw, appearing from the shadows, a snake with a mitre on his head and a cloak that somehow stayed around the snake¡¯s neck, ¡°Dear, Dark Lord,¡±

    ¡°Uhm,¡± Kip said, ¡°Who might you be?¡±

    The snake said, ¡°Allow me to introduccccce myself. I am Jasssper. I was the Dark Lord¡¯s advisor.¡±

    "The Dark Lord¡¯s advisor?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°Yesssss sire. And as you¡¯re the Dark Lord, I am your advisor as well. It would be my ssssacred duty.¡±

    Stormbristle and Kip exchanged glances. Kip said, ¡°Perfect! Best idea wins, as they say. I¡¯d love to see both of your lists. Can I get them by the end of today?¡±

    ¡°Of course, My boy,¡± Stormbristle said.

    Jasper merely bowed his head and said, ¡°Assss you wish, sire.¡± And slithered backward into the shadows.

    Kip watched him go and then turned around and said, ¡°Have you ever heard of him before?¡±

    ¡°I have. Total oddball. Absolute weirdo. No one likes him. Not even the Dark Lord.¡±

    ¡°Do you think he can hear us?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°I don¡¯t care if he can. He¡¯s a freak.¡±

    A broom that was in the next room fell over, and Kip saw through the doorway that Jasper kept slithering away. Kip was positive Jasper heard Stormbristle.

    ¡°Try not to be so hard on him,¡± Kip said, ¡°Maybe he¡¯ll have some good ideas.¡±

    Kip sat in the Dark Lord¡¯s study while he read the two lists provided by both Stormbristle and Jasper. It was a macabre room filled with trinkets and spoils of war. There were strange skulls from creatures great and small and odd. Under each trophy would be their name and cause of death. Kip had not had any time to move his things in, so he sat in an imposing chair that was much too big for him as he glanced over the two lists.

    ¡°Some¡­ very interesting names here, Jasper,¡± Kip said.

    ¡°It¡¯s Jasssper.¡± Jasssper restated.

    ¡°Sorry, Jasssper,¡± Kip said.

    ¡°Really put the lilt behind it.¡± Jasssper insisted.

    ¡°It kind of feels like I¡¯m doing your accent and that doesn¡¯t feel right.¡±

    ¡°Go on, I won¡¯t mind.¡±

    Kip took on a more snakey affectation, ¡°Jassssper.¡±

    Jasssper used his tail to wipe away his wetted eyes and held firm his smile.

    ¡°I overdid the accent, didn¡¯t I?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s fine, sire. I shouldn¡¯t have assssked you to do it.¡±

    ¡°Really sorry. Buggered it.¡± Kip looked over these lists, ¡°Stormbristle¡­ I really like some of the names you put together. These are smart strong choices, mostly stealth-focused. Collected from all parts of the dungeon¡­ and so because they¡¯re spread out, they won¡¯t cause that much of a stir if they¡¯re missed.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, my boy,¡± Stormrbistle brimmed at the compliment.

    ¡°And my lissst, sire?¡± Jasssper crooned.

    ¡°I¡­ yes.¡± Kip looked it over again, ¡°Very interesting. Mostly castlefolk¡­ which is where you live. Uhm, Jasper, are these your¡­ political enemies?¡±

    ¡°Whatever do you mean, sire?¡± Jasper asked.

    ¡°Uhm¡­ Some of these names are bolded. And next to them are¡­ seems to be reasons you don¡¯t like them.¡±

    ¡°I assure you I only had the mission in mind when I wrote the lisst, sire.¡±

    ¡°You wrote Davorin and he¡¯s not even here. Under his name you wrote ¡®Stole my fruit.¡¯ and ¡®stinky.¡¯¡±

    ¡°His ability to steal fruits from unsuspecting snakes would make him an excellent stealth add, would it not?¡±

    ¡°Chess piece: bishop,¡± Kip continued, ¡°¡®Forgot my birthday.¡¯¡±

    ¡°His lack of memory retention means if he gets caught he would not reveal sssensitive information.¡±

    ¡°Stormbristle, you¡¯re on here too.¡±

    ¡°I am?¡±

    ¡°Yes. And¡­ what does it mean, Jasssper, that his name is in red and underlined three times?¡±

    ¡°It means I think he will make an excellent addition.¡±

    ¡°What did he write under my name?¡±

    Kip muttered, ¡°Just says ¡®fat.¡¯¡±

    ¡°WHERE IS MY BOY?!¡±

    ¡°Who was that?¡± Stormbristle asked.

    ¡°Where is my boy?¡± The air suddenly felt very hot. The room, dry. Kip tried to take a sip of water to quench his parched throat but as he poured the water, it turned to steam.

    ¡°What¡¯s happening?¡± Kip asked. The door slammed open. A man, red like a lobster, with a goatee, goat horns, and a pitch fork walked in.

    ¡°I said¡­ where is my BOY?¡±

 Ch 16. Floor Lord Davilo

    ¡°Lord Davilo!¡± Kip¡¯s eyes darted between Jasssper and Stormbristle. said as he put the glass down, ¡°To what do I owe the honor?¡±

    ¡°To what do you think?! One of my best, brightest, and fieriest is no longer here. Plucked. Someone somewhere told me you had something to do with it, Kip.¡±

    ¡°Ye-yes of course¡­¡±

    ¡°So you admit it! You had something to do with it!¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ no! Not as such. It¡¯s just that¡­ he was there when the mercenaries invaded. They did it through an unsanctioned hot tub.¡±

    ¡°Unsanctioned?¡± Davilo asked, ¡°I checked the local registrar,¡± he dropped the papers that Kip had signed for the Duergar, ¡°Does that look unsanctioned? Are you making the claim that they forged your signature?¡±

    ¡°N-no, Davilo. I¡­ I was mistaken when I signed this. I shouldn¡¯t have.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m incredibly litigious, Kip. The me is in the details. When I see a leader, a dark lord, struggling to fend off mercenaries and flip-flopping between having signed something and not¡­ I get antsy.¡±

    ¡°Should we leave?¡± Stormbristle murmured.

    ¡°Stormbristle!¡± Kip exclaimed, ¡°You¡¯ve shrunk!¡±

    It was true, Stormbristle, a proud large cloudy boar, had been reduced in stature.

    ¡°It appears the heat is causing me to dry up. May I go, Dark Lord?¡± Storm asked.

    ¡°Yes! Please! Get some water!¡±

    ¡°Try not to sign for a hot tub on your way out,¡± Davilo said, then looked at Jasper. ¡°You should leave too, snake eyes. Unless¡­ you¡¯d like to find some frolicking nude couple and convince them to eat an apple for me?¡±

    ¡°May I stay, sire? As your advisssor.¡± He asked Kip.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Kip said, ¡°Please, for the love of all that is unholy.¡±

    ¡°No matter. My concerns do not concern you. I¡¯m here for Sal.¡±

    ¡°Lord Davilo, I don¡¯t mean to be imprudent, but why is a Floor Lord going out of his way for one single subject?¡± Jasssper asked.

    Davilo shook his head, ¡°Do you know that my floor has the least permadeath of any floor? I take great care in making sure all of my subjects are safe. Sal is no exception. Now, I need to know what you plan to do about this, Kip.¡±

    ¡°Of course. It¡¯s important to me we get him back as well. We¡¯re working on a team as we speak.¡± Kip said, ¡°We¡¯ve just put the names together. Would you like to look?¡±

    Kip handed Davilo the paper. Davilo glanced over it before licking his finger and putting it on the paper. It turned it to ash instantly.

    ¡°Oh,¡± Kip said, ¡°I¡­ suppose I should have laminated that.¡±

    ¡°Look here, ¡®Kip!¡¯¡± Davilo said, ¡°I don¡¯t know anyone on that list! I¡¯m going to be taking my own team and getting those bastard Mercenaries once and for all. My firebird says they¡¯re only the next town over.¡±

    ¡°W-wait!¡± Kip said, ¡°If you do¡­ the sixth floor won¡¯t have a floor lord! We¡¯ll be down two. We¡­ can¡¯t!¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯t?¡± Davilo squinted his eyes and turned to walk to the window, ¡°Allow me to open this window and show you something.¡±

    Davilo walked up and grabbed the window, pulling it. It got stuck.

    ¡°It¡¯s a little loose, just jiggle it.¡±

    ¡°You think this is the first time I¡¯ve opened a window?!¡± Davilo asked. Davilo clutched the glass harder, so hard that it melted. Now in a more gelatinous state, he furled the window upward.

    ¡°Look at that statue? Beautiful isn¡¯t it? It¡¯s of the Snake God. Xochi. Absolutely marvelous. Sculpted by the Coatl people. They don¡¯t have hands or legs. They only have their tails. They lack digits. They¡¯re forced to resort to minimalism. Abstraction. To you it merely looks like a thick stone that zigzags upward, but it evokes emotion! It zig zags yes but it points to the sky. Xochi, the god of snakes, was the god of deception but also the god of adaptability. He looked toward the sky because even though he had none, he never stopped praying for wings.

    ¡°Beautiful,¡± Kip said, ¡°I never knew.¡±

    ¡°I walk by that ssstatue every day,¡± Jasssper said as he wiped a tear from his snakey eye. I love that statue.¡±

    ¡°Zaza! Flame blast!¡± Davilo pointed his pitchfork at the statue, a searing line of fire shot out and slammed against the statue, melting it until it drooped and fell over.

    This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    ¡°NOOO!¡± Jasssper screamed

    ¡°Now,¡± Davilo said, ¡°What¡¯s this you said about, ¡®can¡¯t.¡¯¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m not sure what that had to do with what I said?!¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°You said I couldn¡¯t! But with a might as powerful as mine¡­ let¡¯s just say that taking Sal back will be easy.¡±

    ¡°Lord Davilo, there is no question about your strength. But we can not be making a full attack while we are down a floor lord and the dark lord. This must stay securely a stealth mission!¡±

    ¡°Come, Kip. Look at that statue of a dragon. Beautiful isn¡¯t it?¡±

    ¡°Lord Davilo, can you assure me if you go you¡¯ll handle the mission stealthily?!¡±

    ¡°The attention to detail. Beautiful craftsmanship. Done by the Kobolds! Your people, Kip.¡±

    ¡°I just need some assurance that you¡¯ll handle the mission with aplomb.¡±

    ¡°Led by the koboldic architect Spitter Mangoon. Made in secret on an island. His last piece before he went blind and mad from a bee-sting. One of one!¡±

    ¡°Okay!¡± Kip said, ¡°Okay!! I¡¯ll let you go! Please just don¡¯t blow up any more precious statues!¡±

    ¡°I thought you¡¯d see reason. Sign this.¡±

    He slammed a piece of paper down on Kip¡¯s desk.

    ¡°A release form from my position while I travel to get Sal back.¡±

    ¡°Should¡­ I have made Davorin sign one of these?¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t?¡± Davilo asked, ¡°I¡¯m sure it will be fine.¡± Was all he said before he pressed his finger twice on the release form.

    ¡°Fine.¡± Kip said, ¡°I¡¯ll sign. But remember that this is a stealth mission. The team we are crafting emphasizes such. You will go with them. Not your own people. Please do not call any attention to yourself.¡±

    ¡°As you wish Kip. I knew I always liked you.¡±

    ¡°You remembered me?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ve met before?¡±

    ¡°Nevermind.¡±

    Kip took his quill and signed it, then placed some melted wax and pressed Dark Lord¡¯s seal on the paper.

    Lord Davilo walked off and Kip and Jasssper noticed the room got a lot colder.

    ¡°How did he know so much about statuesss?¡± Jasssper asked.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know, Jasssper.¡± Kip said, ¡°Storm? Can you come in here?¡± Stormbristle waddled in, tinier than Kip had seen him in years, ¡°I need you to go with Davilo.¡±

    ¡°What? But, my boy, he.. withers me. I can not be around him without him sucking up my air.¡±

    ¡°I know, I¡¯m sorry. I know you¡¯ll be weaker. But I need someone I trust to go with him. Do you understand?¡±

    The pork made of clouds sipped from Kip¡¯s mug of water, slowly regaining his size, ¡°I suppose if I must. But the last thing Davilo understands is subtlety. You get that right?¡±

    ¡°I am hoping he will try very hard. Thank you, Storm.¡±

    ¡°As you wish, Dark Lord.¡±

    And with that, Stormbristle left. Kip turned to see Jasssper still standing in Kip¡¯s study.

    ¡°It¡¯sss jussst¡­¡± Jasssper said.

    Kip sighed and said, ¡°Would you like to help interview new substitute mob bosses for me, Jasssper?¡±

    ¡°Yessss, sssire.¡± Jasssper said, ¡°At once!¡±

    ¡°Okay, then. Come on.¡±

    Kip and Jasssper sat down at a desk in the center of Zeke¡¯s normal outpost. They had a stack of CVs and a long line of applicants out the door.

    ¡°Okay, let¡¯s take the first one!¡±

    Sprocket was the first to walk in, ¡°I am sprocket! I am the perfect person to move up in the ranks. For not only have I faced countless foes like Zeke has, but you have seen firsthand my bloodlust for power, so much so that it almost cost you your life.¡±

    ¡°Right. That¡¯s not really the plus you think it is, Sprocket.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ have managerial experience.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Sprocket. We¡¯ll be in touch.¡± Kip said.

    A giant spider skittered into the room and settled into the corner, ¡°Hi, I am Spidra. I¡¯m a labyrinth spider. I hang out in traps and will eat invaders as they pass by. My friends told me I should apply for this position. They think I¡¯ll be a great fit. A-and I do too! I¡¯m a perfect fit because a lot of our intruders are human and humans are scared of spiders. Also, the more web I have, the harder it will be for them to move.¡±

    ¡°Oooh,¡± Kip said, looking at Jasssper, he leaned over and whispered in his ear, ¡°I rather like her. What do you think?¡±

    ¡°Ahem,¡± Jasssper opened his mouth, ¡°Why are you hiding over there in the corner, Spidra? Would you like to come to the center of the room?¡±

    ¡°Uhm, Uh,¡± Spidra balked, ¡°I can¡¯t see very well. Could whoever said that please strum my web so I could get a better look at you?¡±

    Then Spidra turned around, and shot a big gush of web that landed nowhere near Kip and Jasssper¡¯s table.

    ¡°Thank you.¡±

    Jasssper gave Kip a look. Kip gave Jasssper a very subtle head shake as they interviewed the next pair.

    ¡°So, I tell nothing but the truth,¡± Said one of the trolls.

    ¡°And I tell nothing but the truth as well.¡±

    Kip shook his head with a grimaced smile, ¡°Yes, but we already have you posted up at the front. You have your one riddle. I think it¡¯s working for us.¡±

    ¡°But we are adept at combat.¡± Said the one on the left.

    ¡°Sorry, sorry,¡± Kip said, ¡°Could you please hold up your id card? I¡¯m not sure if¡­ yeah, you¡¯re the liar. So you¡¯re saying you¡¯re not really good at combat.¡±

    ¡°He doesn¡¯t always need to lie!¡± The truth troll said, ¡°He just likes to.¡±

    ¡°I can stop. I¡¯m cursed. Nothing I say is ever a lie. You look good today, Kip.¡±

    ¡°Thank you. Lie Troll.¡±

    ¡°We can use our twin skills and fight them.¡± Truth Troll said, ¡°We can even say things like¡­ you¡¯re not seeing double!¡±

    ¡°I would say that too.¡± The Lie Troll said, ¡°Because they are seeing double.¡±

    ¡°I suppose that¡¯s up to interpretation,¡± The truth troll said, ¡°Because I guess on one hand, they are seeing double¡­ but on the other hand¡­ ¡±

    ¡°Okay!¡± Kip said, ¡°Thank you! But we¡¯re very happy with you at your current position.¡±

    Kip and Jasssper went over the list of everyone they¡¯ve seen.

    ¡°Not good. Ugh, bad. Not strong enough. Lies too much.¡±

    Jasssper pointed with his tail at the picture of the troll on the right, ¡°Hate the way this one talksss.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the Truth Troll.¡±

    ¡°Goody two shoesss,¡± Said Jasssper.

    Kip shook his head and placed them in his hands, ¡°Forty applicants. Forty. Every moment we don¡¯t have someone guarding the labyrinth is another chance someone strong enough breaks in and¡­ we can not let anyone get to the sixth floor.¡±

    ¡°Sire, we musst not lose hope.¡±

    Kip rubbed the bridges of his eyes and took off his reading glasses, ¡°You¡¯re right, Jasssper. I must stay positive.¡±

    ¡°Are these open tryouts?¡± They heard a sing songy voice come out through the other end.

    ¡°Uh,¡± Kip said, ¡°Yes. Right through here! I¡¯m sorry, are you on the list?¡±

    In walked a person who was made entirely of blades. The door had collected webbing from an embarrassing incident Spidra had suffered before she left. It was now completely covered in web thick enough to pull a horse-drawn carriage. The man slashed it with his right blade arm, then slashed it with his left blade arm and walked in,

    ¡°Hi! I¡¯m Blademan. And I think I can do a lot for your operation.¡±

 Ch 17: The New Recruit

    ¡°Blademan?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s right!¡± replied the man made of blades.

    ¡°If you don¡¯t mind me asking, how did you get this way?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°If you can believe it, this is the result of a wish gone wrong! The poor human sap that I was, I made a wish to be the ultimate weapon. Wouldn¡¯t you know it, they turned me into one. Embarrassing really. All of my friends and family thought me a freak! My own son couldn¡¯t hug me without bursting into papercuts. But I persevere! Now! You all said you needed a mob boss?¡±

    ¡°Uhm,¡± Kip turned around and looked at Jasssper, he whispered in his ears, ¡°The ultimate weapon. Cast aside by humans. This guy could be what we¡¯re looking for.¡±

    ¡°A little too perfect sire.¡±

    ¡°Aye,¡± Kip said, then turned to blademan, ¡°It is for a substitute position, we hope you can understand that. How did you hear of us?¡±

    ¡°A man by the name of Davorin mentioned you. Prince of darkness, I guess. We crossed paths and he sent me in your direction.¡±

    ¡°Comes vetted,¡± Kip whispered to Jasssper.

    ¡°What human kingdom are you from, may I asssk?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m from the colonies out past the Moonsea. Interesting place, but not a fan of bladed men.¡±

    ¡°Is that a name the wish granter gave you? We¡¯d be happy to call you by your original name if you¡¯d prefer,¡± Kip said.

    ¡°Blademan is fine. My original name was Jason. Jason Blademan.¡±

    ¡°Your original name was Blademan?¡±

    ¡°Blademan.¡±

    ¡°Blademan. And now it¡¯s¡­ blade man?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s right! Would love a tour of this labyrinth.¡±

    ¡°Uhm¡­ yes!¡± Kip said excitedly, ¡°Have you any combat experience?¡±

    ¡°Yes siree,¡± Blademan said, ¡°Every person who¡¯s ever seen me has tried to kill me and I¡¯m still here! Hold on, I have their ears in my bag. Let me just..¡± Blademan tried to maneuver his knapsack around his back to his front with the broadsides of his hands. The strap rubbed against his shoulder too hard and snapped off. ¡°Ah, shoot. Hold on,¡±

    Blademan reached down and attempted to open it, but instead punctured a hole in the sack, ¡°Okay¡­ I got it!¡±

    Blademan fetched out a chain of ears, mostly human, some not. There were so many that you could hardly see the gray of the chain, ¡°There we are! Looks good, doesn¡¯t it?¡±

    ¡°Really good,¡± Kip said, ¡°Some are pretty big, even. Can¡­ I see a demonstration of your work?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡± Blademan said, ¡°Is there something you can point to that I could kill? The bigger the better. I saw a giant spider outside. What about that guy?¡±

    Blademan pointed at Jasssper. Jasssper squirmed, pointing at himself and shaking his head.

    ¡°Let¡¯s take a walk!¡± Kip said, ¡°There is a Frogliath that took over a cave in the swamp that we have been meaning to deal with. Would that be acceptable for you?¡±

    ¡°Abso-lutely!¡± Blade man said. As he saluted, he accidentally sliced into the wall of the labyrinth, ¡°Whoops.¡±

    The frogs croaked in a discordant harmony, rarely seen, abundantly heard. Kip, Jasssper, and Blademan had made it past the lovely forest enough to get to the swamp. As the smell of rotten eggs had started to take over the normally lovely smell of pine from the forest, Kip¡¯s, and Blademan¡¯s feet got progressively more plodding, while Jasssper¡¯s coiled strokes became invaluable.

    ¡°Sorry about the smell,¡± Kip said, ¡°There are a lot of natural gas wells here.¡±

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    ¡°No need to apologize, all my senses are neatly tucked behind two inches of steel as my head is a blade.¡±

    Kip and Blademan chatted for a while but soon the combos of people reshuffled and Jasssper was next to Kip. Blademan shuffled behind, his legs struggling to make it through the mud. Jasssper whispered into Kip¡¯s ear, ¡°My lord, We must be careful of the interloper¡¯s presence. I fear he spells danger.¡±

    ¡°Oh, Jasssper, That¡¯s just your untrusting nature. This is a friend of Davorin¡¯s! And he was ousted by humans. If his wish was to become the ultimate weapon, well, maybe he could be a wonderful addition for the Dark Lord¡¯s army! This could be my first good step forward as Dark Lord.¡±

    ¡°My lord, do you know Davorin to be so kind to strangers?¡± Jasssper asked.

    ¡°Jasssper, I understand you¡¯re wary, but he¡¯s a good candidate. Let¡¯s see what he can do before we judge.¡±

    ¡°As you wish, sire,¡± Jasssper said as he slithered forward.

    ¡°Kip,¡± Blademan approached Kip, ¡°Ugh, hard to get through this mud. I just wanted to thank you for giving me a chance. I¡¯ll be honest, when I heard the acting dark lord was a kobold, I was a little suspicious. But I see it now. You care about the monsters others don¡¯t. That¡¯s what makes you the perfect candidate.¡±

    Kip shined at the compliment, ¡°Why, thank you, blademan! I¡¯m sorry to hear your family couldn¡¯t be around you anymore.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, thanks. Honestly, though, the kid was cramping my style. Hard to be the ultimate weapon when you have a child with such a soft skull. Maybe I¡¯ll meet him again one day! Try and hug him again.¡± Blademan hugged the tree but accidentally sliced through it, toppling the tree backward.

    ¡°May I ask,¡± Kip said, ¡°How can you see?¡±

    ¡°The vibrations rattle my skull and give me a more heightened sense of the area around me.¡±

    ¡°Okay! We¡¯re here!¡± Kip said as they approached a burrow of pact mud and earth big enough for even Zeke to crawl through.

    ¡°Do we know he¡¯s in there?¡± Jasssper asked.

    A low croak bounced off the walls of the muddy cave, escaping and taking over the swamp. The sound caused the snakes and even some crocodiles to reveal themselves as they swam away.

    ¡°Ahh. Big guy," said Blademan as he knocked on his head, ¡°Well.. time to get to work.¡±

    The warrior rushed in, his steel legs wading through the mud. He suddenly turned on his side and jerked his torso forward, lifting his legs up in tandem. He started spinning as fast as a wheel, skirting along the water toward the cave mouth. He reached the mouth, breaking the spin and leaping into the cave headfirst.

    ¡°Hi-ho!¡±

    A large pink tongue shot out of the darkness and wrapped itself around blademan, pulling him in.

    ¡°Drat.¡± Said blademan.

    The pink thick rope pulled him into the darkness and all Kip and Jasssper could hear was the faint sound of Blademan saying ¡°double drat!¡±

    From there, it was a battle of pure sounds. Acrimonious noises from both sides. The frog ribbited and jumped around. Blademan would curse and shout at the frogliath. Kip stood outside in the swamp, hanging out with Jasssper.

    ¡°So, do you have any other family here?¡± Kip asked.

    Jasssper shook his head, ¡°No. I am all alone. What about you?¡±

    ¡°Grew up here. Brothers all work in the labyrinth. Mother works in laundry.¡±

    ¡°Sssee her often?¡± Jasssper asked.

    ¡°Yeah. Dinners and such.¡±

    ¡°Very niccccce.¡±

    Kip and Jasssper stood there for a minute, no one saying anything to the other. Kip was not keen on asking Jasssper about his mother if he said he was all alone. Jasssper felt that he had made enough of an effort with Kip and they could now comfortably sit in silence. Only, it wasn¡¯t comfortable silence with Kip. It was aching silence for him. Meanwhile, inside the cave things raged on. Clanging of blade on rock. Slashes, and of course a river of blood drained out. Blademan fought on inside and while the croaking grew more violent, the blademan fought even harder. Blademan hacked and slashed, and eventually, there was one last frightening croak before the swamp settled back to its regular programming of insects, crickets, and frogs of normal-sized ribbits.

    ¡°Do¡­ you think that¡¯s it?¡± Kip asked.

    Jasssper said, ¡°Could they both have died?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ can hear some footsteps coming out of the cave.¡±

    The footsteps Kip heard were actually from two blades dragging through the water, slightly tired from the frogliath he had just slain. Blademan walked out, his cowl and clothes covered in blood, his bladehead, bladearms, and bladelegs all covered in blood and on his sharp shoulder he carried the remains of the frogliath¡¯s legs.

    ¡°Anyone order frog¡¯s legs?¡± Blademan dropped his bounty on the ground.

    ¡°Oh my lord!¡± Cried Kip, ¡°You really did it! You defeated a frogliath by your lonesome! Isn¡¯t that wonderful Jasssper?¡±

    ¡°Truly, sire. Makes you wonder why someone so highly skilled would possibly want to become a mob boss.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s right!¡± Kip said, ¡°You would be a welcome addition to the Dark Lord¡¯s army! We might even use you on the front lines! Honestly, with Davorin out to lunch, we could even use a new floor lord!¡±

    ¡°Wow. That sounds pretty good. Can I ask? Am I officially part of the Dark Lord¡¯s army?¡±

    ¡°Careful.¡± Jasssper hissed.

    ¡°Yes! Yes, a thousand times, yes! I can¡¯t wait to show you around! We¡¯re going to put you to work right away!¡±

    ¡°Wonderful. I¡¯m officially part now, to confirm? You¡¯re the acting dark lord and you¡¯ve made me an addition?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡± Kip said again, ¡°Yes, it¡¯s official!¡±

    ¡°Grrrreeeeat, that¡¯s going to be great. Hey Kippo?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Blademan?¡±

    ¡°I invoke the dark charter, buddy. I challenge you to a fight for the throne.¡±

 Ch. 18: The Challenge

    ¡°You¡­ you what?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°I asked you to be careful, sire.¡± Jasssper said, slapping his own face with his tail.

    Kip let out a nervous laugh, ¡°You must be joking, right?  I¡­ gave you this job.  I¡­ we were going to feed you and house you.  Tell me you¡¯re joking, Blademan.  ¡±

    ¡°Sorry, pal.  Would Loooove to be joking here, but I¡¯m afraid not.¡±

    ¡°What about all that stuff about how I was the perfect candidate?¡±

    ¡°You are!  Seems like there¡¯s a pretty big power vacuum in this organization and I only have to defeat you to fill it!  So we won¡¯t lose anyone too important.  That sound good to you?¡±

    ¡°No¡­¡± Kip said, ¡°No that doesn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Not really up to you, though, right?¡±

    ¡°No, it is not.¡± Kip said through gritted teeth.

    ¡°Great! So how does this work?  I choose the challenge and you agree to a location?  Or we both agree on a location, right?¡±

    Kip sighed, ¡°Yes. We both agree.¡±

    ¡°What do you suggest?¡±

    Kip said, ¡°Uh, for a location¡­ let¡¯s see,¡±

    ¡°Sire,¡± Jasssper asked, ¡°May I ssspeak to you in private?¡±

    Kip flashed his index finger to Blademan and walked over to some privacy.

    ¡°Sire¡­¡± Jasssper croaked, ¡°Nobody saw.  It didn¡¯t happen.  You don¡¯t have to make him an official member just yet.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I did, Jasssper.  It¡¯s all above board.  I made him official. Then he challenged me. You saw.¡±

    ¡°No, sire.  I saw that you were about to.  You didn¡¯t though, because you quickly thought of the possibility that he might challenge you immediately.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m not sure what you mean, Jasssper.¡±

    Jasssper rolled his eyes, ¡°Sire, you haven¡¯t done it yet, and you won¡¯t do it yet.  Because you were much too smart.  And if you say you didn¡¯t, and I say you didn¡¯t, then it''s his word against ours. And currently, he¡¯s calling you, the dark lord, a liar and is intruding on us.  We should call some local monsters to help against him.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I think I understand.¡±

    ¡°Shake on it, sire.¡± Jasssper extended his tail to Kip.

    Jasssper was asking Kip to fib.  Fibbing was never something Kip was good at.  In fact, about eighteen years ago Kip was barely waddling around, following his brothers everywhere they went.  Lip, his oldest brother, was rough-housing with Chip and Skip, while their mother was at work.  When they broke their mother¡¯s vase*, it became a vow of secrecy between all the brothers.  Lip, Skip, Chip, Pip, Zip, and Rip all agreed to keep it to themselves and explain that a stray cat had come in through the window and knocked it over.  When it came time to seal the truce with a pinky promise, Little Kip¡¯s brothers bullied him into the ring of secrecy.

    Under duress, he pinky swore along with them.  Unfortunately for his brothers, when his mother finally came home from work, she knew exactly who to ask. And unfortunately for Kip, attempting to fib gave him a bad case of the rumbly tumblies.  Little Kip threw up all over his feet and his brothers never looked at him the same after that.

    So when Kip faced down Jasssper¡¯s tail just as he and his brothers did that day, he could merely stare in abject horror.  His tummy started to rumble.  He grabbed his gurgling stomach and looked over Jasssper¡¯s shoulder or Jasssper¡¯s long neck to see Blademan standing behind them, lamely kicking a rock as he waited.

    He shook his head, ¡°He may have tricked me, Jasssper, but that doesn¡¯t mean the rules don¡¯t apply.  As said, this is all above board.  He has every right to duel me.¡±

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    Jasssper shook his head, ¡°Sire, you can do a lot more good if you¡¯re alive.  But you have to be alive to rule.¡±

    ¡°A ruler who is not subject to rules is a despot, Jasssper.  And I¡¯m sorry, I just don¡¯t have the constitution to lie.¡±  Kip called out to Blademan, ¡°I accept.¡±

    ¡°Goodie.¡±  Blademan said, ¡°So, one on one.  The person who becomes incapacitated loses.  Sounds good?  You name the location.¡±

    ¡°Right here.  The swamp.¡± Kip said, ¡°Swamp creatures are in play.¡±

    Blademan let out a soft chuckle, ¡°Ready when you are.¡±

    ¡°Ready.¡±

    ¡°No¡­ you¡¯re really not.¡±  Blademan ran toward Jasssper and Kip, then twisted himself like he did before, skirting along the edges like a wheel of blades.  Kip and Jasssper exchanged glances before pushing Jasssper out of the way.

    Kip fell the opposite direction. Blademan wheeled by them, he dropped the topside of the wheel aftward, using angular momentum to turn around a tree and head back for Kip.

    ¡°I¡¯m coming for ya, Kippo!¡±  The blade wheel skirted toward Kip.  He plodded along the soft mud and hid behind a tree.  Blademan recorrected himself and used himself as a buzzsaw, directly attacking the tree Kip was hiding behind.

    ¡°Ahh!¡±  Kip screamed.

    Blademan did not stop turning even though he¡¯d sunk into a tree.  He continued to use his bladed arms, legs, and head to quickly chip into the wood.  Kip stepped backward and fell from a root half buried in the ground.  The woodchips hailed on him and the sawdust entered his open mouth as the bladewheel ripped through the lumber.  Kip coughed as he crawled backward.

    Blademan finished chopping through the tree and spun toward Kip.  Kip rolled out of the way but as Blademan¡¯s legs were above him in the wheel formation, he dropped them, balanced on one hand and counter balanced his legs with the other hand, slicing Kip.  Kip grabbed at his cheek, when he pulled his hand back he saw it was drenched in blood.  As Blademan had imbalanced himself, he needed more distance to self correct.  At about forty feet blademan committed to another turn.

    Kip ran in the opposite direction but the viscous mud made it harder.  Kip fell to his knees as Blademan grinded toward him.  Kip leaned in and stuck his hand in the mud to get up.  His hands went down further than he was expecting.  There was a divot in the earth.  He buried himself in mud and pushed up.  When he turned around, Blademan was much closer than before.

    Kip attempted to dive but the viscous fluid of the mud caught his ankles, and Blademan sliced Kip¡¯s calf on his sped through.

    ¡°What good are my scales?!¡± Kip asked himself.  He limped toward a clump of bushes.  Blademan could not turn quickly enough.  Instead he released himself from his wheel form, using the momentum to leap toward a tree.  His legs entered the trunk and he brought his knees down to launch himself directly behind him, continuing his wheel.

    ¡°You have the right to give up, Kip!  I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll make an amazing advisor!¡±  Blademan yelled.

    ¡°We¡¯ve already got one!¡±  Kip dove into the brambles.  Blademan was twirling fast.  The entire brush rustled.  It fuzzied Blademan¡¯s vibrational sonar. He ran through the middle of the brush, cutting them in half.  Blademan decided that if he could not accurately ¡®see¡¯ where Kip was, he¡¯d tear through the whole brush.

    Blademan exited his wheel form and bounced off another tree, turning around and slashing through the brambles.  He ran through the brush again and again like he was a pizza cutter and the brambles were a decidedly basily pizza.

    He kept splitting it up but the texture of what he was stabbing never felt different.  It never felt like he was hitting kobold meat.  At this point a flurry of leaves and branches had been shot up into the air, the brush that Kip had hid in was more or less completely torn up and reduced to a pile.  Blademan had to stop.  He leapt up and stabbed at another tree, higher up, and planted his foot inside of the trunk, like some kind of monkey made entirely out of swords.  He looked around.  Since his head became a sword, he had very limited eyesight, but could sense the vibrations upon his bladehead.  He waited.

    And waited.

    And¡­. waited.

    The thickness of the mud and peet on the ground had dampened the vibrations.  While Blademan waited for Kip to reveal himself, he realized that Kip was in the wind, there was no way he was in the brambles.  He must have escaped somehow.  Blademan would have to go looking.

    Blademan slid off the tree onto the mud.  The two blades slunk into the ground easily.  Blademan had to lift his whole legs out of the mud, then sink it back in.  Every single time.  He made his way over to the brambles very slowly.

    ¡°Kippo?¡±  Blademan asked, ¡°You there, buddy?  Or are you dead?¡±  He continued to walk forward, ¡°It¡¯s okay if you want to give up, champ!  I don¡¯t blame you at all.¡±

    Blademan had finally made his way to the brambles and poked through them.  He didn¡¯t find anything. When he was standing on the brambles, the mud was about waist high.  Kip had jumped into the greenery, then sunk under the earth, where he crawled out of the way through the mud and was now completely lost.

    Blademan stuck his blades up, ready for action.  He placed his arms in the mud where he hoped to get a better sense of the vibrations.

    Bluh

    Bluh

    Bluh

    And a large PLOP

    Over and over again.  It couldn¡¯t be a heartbeat.  Breathing?  Blademan slogged through the mud as he got closer.  He leaned down to the source of the vibrations.  Bubbles.  Bubbles spurting up.  He pulled back his hand, ready to stab when¡­  Kip used the Burst action to jump through the mud, landing on Blademan¡¯s back and clawing through Blademan¡¯s chest.

 Ch. 19: Blademan vs Kip

    Kip always chewed his claws when he was anxious. Never being needed in a combat scenario meant he didn''t need his two quickest weapons. But on his newest level up, he realized what he''d have to improve. The choice was clear as day. He was not just the face of this kingdom, but the claws too. After the match with the Ducervi, he was once again faced with a choice

    [Dragoneye 1] (Required for Dragoneye 2)

    [Wings II] (Required for Wyvern Mode)

    [Sharp Claws] (Required for Daggerous Talons)

    Kip wrapped his little arms along Blademan¡¯s metal chest and raked his claws across the tinman¡¯s torso.

    Kip did not know if he could actually rip into Blademan¡¯s metal, so he was pleasantly surprised when he saw dribbles of red.

    ¡°Yyeeeaouch!¡± Blademan yelled as he looked at his chest, ¡°You actually drew blood! Good on you, Kippo. But having a good weapon doesn¡¯t make you the ultimate weapon.¡±

    Kip attempted to place his claws on Blademan¡¯s head, but Blademan leapt up and kicked his feet out, dropping onto the ground on his back. Luckily for Blademan, he had Kip to cushion the fall.

    ¡°Oof!¡± Kip yelled as Blademan pinned him. Blademan reached back and stabbed at Kip. The blade diced Kip along his shoulder. Kip had to get out of there quickly. He wriggled out and dug his way through the heavy mud. Blademan lashed out with some strikes but was slicing blind and never connected with Kip. Blademan stood up, completely covered in mud.

    ¡°Oh come on!¡± Blademan yelled, ¡°don¡¯t tell me we¡¯re doing this again!¡±

    He walked through the mud. The vibrations deafened but he could still feel the occasionally wet blip on his radar of Kip, somewhere under the rubble.

    ¡°I can¡¯t with this,¡± Blademan said, ¡°Your whole strategy is to keep hiding. How are you going to do that when you¡¯re in actual combat? Is this what you want your people to think of you?¡±

    Blademan stabbed at the ground, then held his hand there, leading him in the direction of the vibrations of Kip wriggling through the ground..

    Kip burrowed through the mud with his new claws. Blademan had a much better sense of his movements, and they were both moving quite slowly. Kip could not see anything that was happening under. Eventually his head collided with a big rock sticking out of the earth. He poked his head up for some fresh air.

    ¡°There you are.¡± Blademan said, then leapt toward Kip. Kip dipped his head in and pushed himself away, the blade entering the mud and stabbing at a spot he was at one second ago.

    ¡°I know your type, Kippo,¡± Blademan said, ¡°You¡¯re honorable. You let a scallywag like me come in and strong arm you into this fight¡­ you could have said no. I can tell you want what¡¯s best¡­ but that¡¯s not you. This place is a fortress. It needs a strong leader. Not someone who runs away from a fight. Can you even fight? Sure, your claws can work, if your small slow body gets close enough¡­ but can you fly? Can you breathe fire?¡±

    He stuck his sword back into the mud. Something was moving fast. He could feel on the vibrations of the fluid that there was something coming. He looked over at the direction it was coming from. How did the little guy learn to move this fast?

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    ¡°Okay, you¡¯re getting a little more interesting.¡±

    And just like that, blademan lost him from the vibrations. He looked over. He stuck both hands in the mud to help pick up on it. Two vibrations. One from each side. One much bigger. Kip reappeared from the mud to take another breath. Blademan stepped closer to try to stab him but suddenly, Jasssper shot out at him from the mud, bearing his fangs.

    ¡°Woah!¡± Blademan said as Jasssper wrapped around the sharp body, beared his fangs and sunk his teeth into Blademan. The blades bounced off harmlessly.

    Blademan chuckled, ¡°Made of blades¡­ remember?¡±

    Blademan flexed his shoulders, slicing Jasssper and causing him to fall down and slither away. As blademan went to look for him, he found Kip instead. Kip scratched Blademan¡¯s swordhead, ¡°Ouchie! Kippo! Watch out, if you learn how to use those things you might get dangerous.¡±

    Kip attempted to scratch him again but Blademan dipped and sliced Kip along his side. Kip dropped down into the muddy earth again.

    ¡°Hold on!¡± Kip said, ¡°Pause!¡±

    ¡°Pause? Is that part of the rules?¡± Blademan asked.

    ¡°Jasssper!¡± Kip yelled into the swamp, ¡°Thank you for your help! But it¡¯s like I said! I have to do this fairly. And that means a one-on-one.¡±

    ¡°Awww, how sweet. You want to fight me one on one.¡± Blademan stuck both his hands out as he dove into Kip. Kip stepped out of the way but the blades still nicked him. Kip was badly wounded. He knew there was only one place to escape, the underbelly of the mud. Kip took a deep breath, but before he could sink his head in, Blademan interceded, ¡°Oh no you don¡¯t!¡± Blademan rushed over and slit into the very spot that Kip was attempting to hide. He swung his blade up at the kobold. The kobold had no time to sink down. Instead, he jumped up and summoned his wings. One big gust of wind and he was higher in the air, most of the mud coming off of him.

    Kip opened his wings and glided down to the nearest branch of a tree. The heaviness of the mud and the lack of a runway created impossible conditions for his bladewheel.

    ¡°A little distance? No problem for a swordsman like me!¡± Blademan held his blades up in the air, concentrating. The blades grew red with energy. Blademan launched them and the red beam flew off the swords and sliced the tree limb, causing Kip to fall back down into the water.

    ¡°Wha?!¡± Kip cried out as he pulled himself up. He looked at Blademan who was charging the energy in his shoulders, ¡°How?!¡±

    ¡°My boon! After killing two hundred birds with a sword, I was given the ability to turn swords into a ranged weapon. Why do you think I wished to make myself blades?¡±

    Kip pushed himself up out of the mud, ¡°I thought you wished to be the ultimate weapon and the genie took advantage of you!¡±

    Blademan laughed, ¡°No. I wished to be made entirely out of blades. Then the genie was like¡­ ¡®are you sure? That¡¯s crazy!¡¯ and I was like ¡®Come on and make me blades before I put you back in that stupid bottle!¡¯ Now that I¡¯m made out of blades, I don¡¯t have to come up with excuses for why I don''t want to hug my kid. Everything¡¯s coming up Blademan!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s horrific!¡± Kip yelled.

    ¡°Shoulder attack!¡± Blademan shot the energy in his shoulders at Kip. Kip jumped out of the way just in time for the blades to slice open the tree he was resting on.

    Kip could hear a loud crunch ring out from the tree. He could hear the strains of the tree¡¯s natural fibers snapping as it began to timber. Kip rolled out of the tree¡¯s trajectory but Blademan pumped his two shoulders and shot them right where Kip was going to be.

    Kip covered his eyes and stopped rolling, pinned between the two forces. Kip turned himself into a little ball, wondering if this was the end. The tree fell right on top of him. He opened his eyes, not dead. He had slipped right where the fork in the tree started. He was safe, but there was no time to wait. Blademan was up in the air, coming down on Kip, about to slice him in twain.

    Kip was still in ball form. Using his tail, he pushed himself and rolled over his head, evading the slice.

    Blademan then said, ¡°Head cannon!¡± He whipped his head up and slashed Kip while rolling.

    ¡°Ahhh!¡± Kip yelled in agony. He slowed his roll and unfurled. Blademan got up. Kip had been incapacitated.

    ¡°See? This is why you¡¯re not fit to lead, Kippo. You¡¯re getting bested by me, and I¡¯m some rando. Imagine when one of your own comes for you? Imagine when there are barbarians at the gates? They¡¯ll need someone stronger. Someone who wasn¡¯t afraid to turn himself into a weapon. A man made entirely out of blades. So long, friend!¡±

    And with that, Blademan stuck his blades up and drove them into soft scaly underbelly.

    OMG! Is our little guy done for? Read six weeks ahead on the patreon to find out!

 Ch. 20: Welcome To Milik

    The town of Milik bordered the Ulmund Kingdom. Its signature clock tower beamed with hometown pride in the slight off-center of the city. It did once proudly beam in the town¡¯s center but the construction of a new auction house expanded the town eastward. Now, it looked more like a very well beautiful pimple on the town¡¯s face.

    Milik was known for its proximity to the Fierce Forest. It was a starting point for so many intruders, known locally as heroes, and thus despite its¡¯ rurality was a place where strange folk who looked out of the ordinary might pass a little bit easier. Davilo walked forward, resting his pitchfork on his shoulder with a waltzing matilda of snacks and sandwiches that his minions had packed for his fellowship. Bringing up the party¡¯s rear was Stormbristle, who could not get too close to Davilo without shrinking significantly from Davilo¡¯s natural heat. In between Davilo and Stormbristle were the two agents foot-picked by Storm for this mission. There was Lala, the changeling, gray, with high cheekbones and a burned hook along her right cheek that had long since scarred. She could shift to any human or demi-human of similar size. She walked along merrily as the final party member, Tamas, played a jaunty tune on his lute. Tamas was a satyr. He was stout with a belly that kept him from seeing the floor standing up. His ability to alter moods with his music made him ideal for a run-in with humans. Tamas had also been to Milik before, and had left with a pernicious itch in his crotch. Tamas¡¯ song was about where or not he should call the woman who gave him the itch.

    ¡°What¡¯s the plan, my lord?¡± Lala asked Davilo.

    ¡°I can not tell you, Lala. I have half a mind to burn each building one by one until the great cowards rush out. Then we shall know what building Sal is in and will be able to help him.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Lala said, ¡°I was thinking something a bit more subtle.¡±

    ¡°Maybe we can hold a concert?¡± Tamas asked, ¡°You get in free if you bring a salamander?¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s less fire in that plan, I suppose.¡± Lala said.

    ¡°Not if I¡¯m there.¡± Said Davilo.

    ¡°Right.¡± Stormbristle said, shouting from afar, ¡°Can everyone hear me from back here? Is this good?¡±

    ¡°Sorry. We can sort of hear you,¡± Lala said in her apologetic way, as if she was somehow culpable of Stormbristle and Davilo¡¯s incompatibility.

    ¡°Yesss,¡± Tamas said, ¡°I can hear you, pig. Can you hear this tune from back there?¡±

    Tamas strummed his lute. The notes danced on the air and waltzed into Stormbristle¡¯s ear, enchanting him like a lovely perfume. Not unlike a perfume, it was quite annoying when unsolicited.

    ¡°Yes. I think we shouldn¡¯t burn down every house as this is, first and foremost, a stealth mission, might I remind you. And we will have to be very careful. Kip said that what the humans mentioned salamanders as a delicacy.¡±

    ¡°BASTARDS!¡± Davilo shouted, then looked around for a good tree, independent of other trees. He pointed his pitchfork and said, ¡°Shamai! Fire ball!¡± A ball of fire escaped his pitchfork and set the tree aflame.

    ¡°Oh lord,¡± Stormbristle yelled, ¡°Please no more fire blasts, Floor Lord! We don¡¯t want to scare anyone away when looking for information! Let¡¯s try every butcher shop. Should we split up or¡­?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Davilo said, ¡°Let¡¯s split up.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Tamas said, ¡°Let¡¯s split up. Me and the girl, and¡­ you all can do whatever you want. Savvy?¡±

    ¡°I dislike that plan,¡± Davilo said, ¡°But I am a guest in this so I accept.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m fine with whatever we all decide,¡± Said Lala.

    ¡°What are all of you saying?¡± Stormbristle shouted, ¡°Did we agree to split up?¡±

    ¡°Yes, we did!¡± Lala shouted at Stormbristle.

    ¡°And we agreed on the teams?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡±

    ¡°Who¡¯d I get?¡±

    ¡°Davilo!¡±

    ¡°... Oh.¡± Stormbristle said.

    ¡°You¡¯re with me, cloud!¡± Davilo yelled.

    ¡°I really think it¡¯d be best¡­¡± Started Stormbristle.

    ¡°I don¡¯t agree but these two seem to think so! Now come on, do not keep a Floor Lord waiting!¡±

    Stormbristle grumbled but floated along. Lala changed her look. Orange hair and peach skin. Freckles as well. Tamas wore robes that hid his feet and a head scarf to hide his horns. Stormbristle could not hide who he was, instead, he was reduced further as he got closer to Davilo. Davilo chose not to change his appearance. Opting to keep the red suit and pitchforks. He also did nothing to hide the horns.

    Lala and Tamas went to the butcher nearest to them while Davilo and Stormbristle approached the butcher on the far side of town. Stormbristle had lost enough water from Davilo¡¯s heat that he could no longer float. His stubby legs forced him to waddle after Davilo as the devil stormed into the shop. With Stormbristle calling behind him.

    ¡°Wait!¡± Stormbristle called.

    Davilo walked up to the butcher, a thick man with big mutton chops, ¡°You there!¡±

    Stormbristle attempted to go in but the door closed behind Davilo. Stormbristle, once a proud boar now reduced in stature and power stared up at the doorknob. He could only watch from the window as he saw Davilo attempt to take care of business.

    ¡°Have you seen four pesky freaks walk in here with a salamander that¡¯s not theirs and attempt to sell him to you?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± The butcher asked, ¡°I¡¯d seen some people walk in here, yeah. Might fit your description.

    ¡°Might? Or does? I need you to be specific. After all, the me is in the details.¡±

    ¡°The what?¡±

    ¡°The me. The devil. The devil is in the details.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I thought yous said, ¡®meat.¡¯ or something. Sorry, I am a butcher after all.¡±

    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    ¡°Apology accepted. Now, be specific. You¡¯ve seen four people? An orc, an elf, a human, and a day dwarf?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I seen an orc. A girl. Pretty and strong. Wouldn¡¯t mind getting me a hug with those arms.¡±

    ¡°We can unpack that later, fool. Tell me, what did she bring in?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s like yous says. She brought in a salamander. Still alive. Reckon from the dungeon nearby. Asked me to sell it but the price was way too high.¡±

    ¡°Any price would be too low for someone as great as Sal.¡± Davilo pointed his pitchfork right at the butcher.

    Stormbristle cringed from outside. He turned to a couple walking past and said, ¡°Excuse me, could you help me-¡±

    ¡°Oh my! What a marvelous pig! And it talks!¡± Said the woman.

    ¡°Oh, uh.. No you misheard me.¡± Stormbristle said.

    ¡°I want it, Willem.¡±

    ¡°Well, pig? Are you owned?¡±

    Meanwhile, inside, Davilo took the pitchfork and turned it to the vase behind him on the table, ¡°That vase? Quite a rarity. Ulmundian in origin, specifically from a province on the other side of the kingdom. A long dead destroyed town called Hasting-Reed. I can tell by the dogs. Hasting-Reeds had an artist specifically known for vasework with dog print. Would be a shame if it suddenly melted.¡±

    The butcher scratched his head, ¡°I suppose it would. Would you like a closer look at the vase? Me grandmam gave it to me. She¡¯s from Hastings-Reed.¡±

    ¡°Yes. can I see it up close, actually?¡±

    The butcher picked up the vase and brought it to Davilo. He took it in his hands. Dark green with crackles of black throughout, and dalmatians chasing after each other.

    ¡°Just don¡¯t drop it,¡±

    ¡°Shazow! Vase smash!¡± Davilo said, lifting the vase above his head.

    ¡°Oh no! Don¡¯t!¡±

    ¡°Tell me what I want to know.¡±

    ¡°I was answering your questions!!¡±

    Davilo sighed and handed it back to the man, ¡°Please just tell me where my friend is.¡±

    ¡°The orc? She couldn¡¯t sell it to me. Told me I was too dense. I told her she might want to check out the alchemist, Patella. Down the street to the left, about a block east of the clocktower.¡±

    Davilo turned, his cape whipped and followed him outside, where Willem and his beaux were pestering Stormbristle, getting a little too close. ¡°Oh, sir? Is this boar yours? I¡¯d love to buy it.¡±

    ¡°Pewpew! Clothes burn!¡± Davilo touched Willem¡¯s coat and a hole of cinder immediately started. The smoke and fire caused Willem to panic, taking off his coat and tossing it on the ground as Stormbristle and Davilo walked away.

    ¡°Thank you.¡±

    ¡°Thank me not! Off we go to the alchemist.¡±

    ¡°Can you hold the door open for me this time?¡±

    The devil muttered in the affirmative as they made it to the alchemist¡¯s shop. It had herbs and plants growing all around the outside, vines crawled up the brick, the weary sign on top showed the ligaments of a skeletal hand holding a bushel of flowers.

    Davilo opened the door and let Stormbristle in. Inside the room was a host of smells that were all at once, ravishing and dizzying. Potted plants, as well as ingredients for potions and potions themselves were locked away in different beakers and glass bottles. All housed liquids of different colors, hues, opacities and viscosities. When Davilo and Stormbristle saw the alchemist behind the counter they couldn¡¯t help but sigh in relief.

    The skeletal woman wore purple robes with black accents, her large brimmed hat bent at the top to the right. She had not a scrape of skin on her. Her skull was there and her mouth was curled into a pleasant smile despite having no lips.

    ¡°Hello there! Uh¡­ Lord Davilo? Is that you?¡±

    ¡°My work proceeds me, I¡¯m sure,¡± Said Davilo, ¡°Tis I. The Floor Lord Davilo.¡±

    ¡°My! Please don¡¯t tell me I¡¯ve done anything that warrants you demolishing my small shop!¡±

    ¡°Of course not. You are, Patella, are you not?¡±

    ¡°I am, sire. And¡­ who is your friend, and does he need some water?¡±

    ¡°Ay, that he does.¡± Said Davilo. ¡°He, like everybody, shrinks in my presence. In his case, it¡¯s just much more physical.¡±

    ¡°Help yourself, young stormboar.¡±

    ¡°Thank you.¡±

    Against the stone wall of her floor, to keep the air moist for the plants was a pond. She scooped some water in a bowl from there and placed it in front of Stormbristle, who lapped at it and slowly, with each wick of his tongue, grew slightly bigger.

    ¡°Patella,¡± Davilo said, ¡°We are looking for somebody. It is quite serious. I am looking for my dear subject. A salamander. He should have come in here with a party or perhaps just an orc?¡±

    ¡°Yes! Oh, the poor thing. As he was under the custody of the orc I could not do anything. I would have bought him just to free him but their price was too high! And when they asked if they would be able to sell me pieces of him, I told her that she may absolutely not kill him on the premises or anywhere near. I am so sorry, but he is not here.¡±

    ¡°Details, my dear. Details! Tell me everything you remember! Nothing too small.¡±

    ¡°My¡­ Uhm, let¡¯s see. I suppose that I could say that she came alone, but grumbled about the others. How they would find out. She seemed under a great deal of pressure.¡±

    ¡°Continue! Tell me! What fragrance was she wearing?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure that she was wearing a fragrance, although she smelled musky with some hint of cedarwood. Perhaps she had just come from the forest?¡±

    ¡°Absolutely. She had. Tell me more. Anything you can!¡±

    ¡°Like I said¡­ she seemed worried. I had to hold firm, she attempted to bully me into accepting the rate. But I didn¡¯t back down. The look that salamander gave me¡­ I wish I could do more. But my very presence here is already an annoyance to some! Sure, they¡¯ll use my ointments for their acne, but the amount of times the guards have been called on me. Honestly! The only other thing I could tell you is that before she left, she told your salamander, ¡®Only the ¡®option¡¯ left.¡¯ I¡¯m not sure why she phrased it that way. Only the ¡®option¡¯ left. I¡¯m sorry I can¡¯t be more helpful than that!¡±

    ¡°Precious details. They are like a dribble of water in the desert. Thank you, Patella. It burns me with rage that I couldn¡¯t protect him.¡±

    ¡°Lord Davilo, If I may¡­ if you cry, can you place it into this bottle? Devil¡¯s tears make for an excellent ingredient! But a single drop mixed with tiger bones would save every impotent man¡¯s marriage in this town!¡±

    ¡°My tears are all out, Patella. But I thank you for your forthrightness.¡±

    Stormbristle spoke up, ¡°Did they tell you where she was going next?¡±

    ¡°No. But I wonder if you already came from the butchers, the only option left would be the slavers? Not sure if they would.¡±

    ¡°Bastard slavers,¡± Davilo said, ¡°They are always so stingy>¡±

    ¡°That makes less sense,¡± Stormbristle said, ¡°Salamanders would make terrible slaves. Their body is made of fire and they can cast fire blasts with no mana.¡±

    ¡°Then I¡¯m sorry. I can offer no more help! Oh!¡± Patella turned around and went behind her desk. She searched through her drawer until she found a small vile, an ice blue drop inside. She placed it in front of stormbristle, beyond his bowl, ¡°Some fire resistance. On the house. That way you won¡¯t shrink up when you¡¯re around such a fiery devil.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Said Storm. A piece of his cloud tore off his body, floated toward the potion and picked it up, placing it in his little satchel.

    ¡°We appreciate the help, Patella. And if you¡¯d ever like some time away from the small minded, well, the Dark Lord¡¯s empire is always waiting.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± Patella remembered, ¡°I had heard something about you working for the Dark Lord. What kind of force could keep Hell¡¯s Fury contained?¡± Patella said, her smile, ¡°I hope you find your friend!¡±

    Davilo took a deep bow. Storm gave a happy snort and they both turned around and went off. They walked down the street of the town.

    ¡°The option,¡± Davilo said, ¡°What could that mean?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure. It will be helpful to see what the other two have come up with. Maybe the option was the other butcher in this town.¡±

    ¡°Do you hear that music?¡± Davilo asked.

    ¡°I do.¡±

    ¡°It entices me,¡± Davilo said, ¡°In a way that no music has done before.¡±

    ¡°It calls to me too, but we can not get distracted, Lord Davilo, we must reconvene with the others.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think you understand what I meant. It calls to me by a force greater than a taut string or soothing voice. I think I have found the other two.¡±

    When Davilo and Stormbristle walked up to the outdoor bar, they turned the corner to see Tamas, the satyr, playing his lute while surrounded by people. The entire bar danced gayly while he was surrounded by four women and even two men. They all stared at him with an expression halfway between lovingly drunk and drunkenly in love. Lala bobbed her head as she stayed seated, in the form she¡¯d taken on before. Tamas was keeping the entire bar entertained with his song as another man, burly with a surly expression, came up to Tamas.

    ¡°Tip jar¡¯s right there, brother,¡± Tamas said. What Tamas did not know was this man had been courting the first woman and secretly sleeping with the third.

    ¡°Not looking for change,¡± Said the man, as he reeled his fist back and punched Tamas squarely in the nose.

    ¡°So much for subtlety,¡± Said Stormrbistle, as they scurried over to help him.

 Interlude 1: Blademan Makes His Way!

    South of Milik and North of the Dark Lord¡¯s Domain, Blademan stood in front of a bounty board. He had been traveling for a number of weeks, escaping dangerous situations after dangerous situations.  In front of him was a poster.  It was a man with a single blade for a head, and the poster might as well have been a mirror made out of charcoal.  For Blademan, it was an empty wall.  Not because he couldn¡¯t force himself to look directly at the result of his villainy, but because he didn¡¯t have eyes.  So the text on the bounty may as well have been a blank slate.

    He was not interested in reading much before his transformation anyway.  But it did make his job that much harder. He turned to the person next to him.  A young man in his late teens, barely starting his career as an adventurer.

    ¡°Say!  Would you be so kind as to inform me who the biggest, scariest, person on this list is and what their bounty might be?¡±

    The young man turned around, cheeks rosy from youth.  He gave a naive smile and said, ¡°Sure, mister!  Seems to be¡­¡±

    His eyes cast on the identical picture of the bounty in front of Blademan.  It read

    Blademan

    20,000 crown.

    Dead or Alive

    The young man¡¯s blood quickened.  He shook and took a clumsy step back.  Blademan sensed this.

    ¡°Come on, son.  Take a breath.  And don¡¯t tell me something I don¡¯t already know.¡±

    The boy¡¯s hands rattled as he pointed right above Blademan¡¯s picture at Yelitz the Troll.

    Yelitz The Troll

    18,000 crown

    Dead or Alive

    ¡°T-There¡¯s a green troll.  18,000 c-crown.¡±

    ¡°Good man!  And, where is it, son?¡±

    ¡°A-a cave between this and the next town about five miles off-f the King¡¯s Road.¡±

    ¡°Thank you for the help!¡±  Blademan said. Then he lifted his blade up and placed it against his own bounty on the board.  He turned to the young man again, ¡°Is it this one?¡±

    Sweating, the boy slowly nodded his head, unsure if Blademan could see it.

    ¡°Well¡­ how does it look?¡±

    ¡°Uh,¡± the young man did not know what to say, ¡°Like you.¡±

    ¡°Blademan nodded, ¡°You can¡¯t see it but I''m smiling right now.  If someone asks¡­ tell them I¡¯m nearby,¡± And before he left, he turned to the young adventurer and said, ¡°Say¡­ those are some nice ears you got.¡±

    It only took a couple of hours before Blademan had made it to the mouth of the cave.  He merely walked around, throwing rocks and echoing, waiting to hear something back that sounded like a cave.  When he got to the mouth, he knew there were two options.  Stealth, or the direct approach.  Blademan was not interested in the former.

    ¡°HEY!  YOU IN THERE?¡±  He asked, ¡°Trollie trollie trollie?!  My name¡¯s Blademan!  Do not be shocked when you see my appearance¡­ it¡¯s pretty awesome.¡±

    There was no sound from the other side.  He sighed, ¡°Could there be another cave?  If anyone with a brain could tell me if this is the right cave¡­ please let me know now!¡±

    Nothing.  No audible confirmation of any kind.  But a presence felt by Blademan.  He¡¯d stood in front of a few caves before.  They had a quiet quality about them.  A deep sort of thrumming noise like the silence was knocking together and creating its own kind of unique vibration.  The vibration of nothing.  It was Blademan¡¯s favorite sound.  A rhythm made from empty depth.  But in this cave¡­ that rhythm was interrupted.

    Blademan said, ¡°You better not be some kind of innocent child because I¡¯m so tired of stabbing those!  They don¡¯t put up a fight.¡±

    He walked forward into the cave.  The musty smell would have alerted anyone there was something big that never bathed in the cave.  The growling would have been the next.  The sharpening of claws would have also been pretty bad.  What gave it away to blademan? A growl, low and ominous, that called out, ¡°You are made of blades¡­¡± Said the troll.

    ¡°That¡¯s right.  And I heard from a close source that you were green.¡±

    Light had long since dissipated a few twists and turns ago.  As soon as the troll stepped forward, the steps filled in a visual image for Blademan.  He was big.  Muscle bound too.  With huge eyes that could see in such low light and on the top of the sides of his head were long, velvety¡­. Ears.

    ¡°You must run from the humans too,¡± Said the troll.

    ¡°On occasion.  Only when I¡¯m tired of killing them.¡±

    ¡°I see myself in you.¡±

    ¡°Makes sense.  I just got myself waxed.¡±

    ¡°Have you come here to team up?¡±

    ¡°Actually, I had come here to kill you.¡±

    This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

    ¡°Ah.  Had?¡±  The voice asked.

    ¡°Make me an offer.¡±

    ¡°You and me, two freaks.  Labeled ¡®man-killers¡¯  We decide to take over.  We hide out here.  Make this place a home.  .  It wouldn¡¯t be hard.  Just need an internal heating source.  Build a community of others like us.  Tarnished by the humans.  We live a good life.  We grow old but the young ones we protected¡­ They protect us now.  We spend the rest of our weary days gambling and playing cards.

    ¡°Wow.  Sounds like a peaceful life.  Something to think about.¡±

    ¡°Shall we?¡±

    ¡°Sure!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure why, but you have such a trusting nature about you.  Despite you being made of blades¡­ As an act of appreciation, let¡¯s shake on it, friend.¡±

    He stuck his hand out.

    Blademan yelled, ¡°He¡¯s got a weapon!¡±

    Blademan sliced with his hand, taking off a finger.

    ¡°I don¡¯t have a- AHH!¡±

    Blademan twirled, high-kicking and taking off the rest of the troll¡¯s hand.

    ¡°Wait!¡±  The troll yelled.

    ¡°Now¡­ I¡¯m not leaving without that sweet, sweet ear.¡±

    Blademan leapt up and plunged his right arm into the troll¡¯s shoulder, then pulled himself up and twisted, wrapping his legs around the troll¡¯s neck.  The troll walked backward and crashed Blademan into a stalactite.  The stalactite crumbled as Blademan let out a soft groan and placed his hand to the troll¡¯s ear.

    The troll reached over and grabbed all of blademan¡¯s head.  Blood spilled from his palms but the troll picked him up and smashed him against the ceiling.

    ¡°Why!?¡± The troll yelled, ¡°We could have lived a happy quiet life and.. Ah!¡±

    Blademan had slipped through the grasp.  He sliced the troll¡¯s other hand off and leapt to the cave ceiling, sliding his hands into the rockwall, and hoisting himself back onto the troll.

    ¡°Blademan don¡¯t do ¡®whys¡¯  He does ¡®why nots?¡¯¡±  Blademan snipped the troll¡¯s ear, then punctured the troll¡¯s back.

    The troll fell down and collapsed on the ground.  Blood leaked from his back wound.  His  trollish regeneration was split among many different injuries.

    Blademan fumbled while he slumped the long green ear into his satchel with his hands.

    ¡°Oh yeah, that¡¯s a juicy one.  I hope they let me keep the ear after I collect this bounty.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re seriously not going to let me collect this bounty!?¡±

    He stared at the horrified guards as they looked at the biggest pest this side of the Ulmund Kingdom.

    ¡°N-no.  We¡¯re going to have to bring you in.  In fact, every guard in here:  Take your weapon out!¡±

    Blademan dropped his head down, ¡°Sigh.  Well, Blademan, good thing there¡¯s no such thing as too many ears.¡±

    The King¡¯s Road was one of the largest undertakings of civil engineering in the Ulmund kingdom.  A road that went through the entire, ever expanding, country that was paved and maintained no matter how perilous the terrain or how difficult it would be for a civil engineer to get to.

    The only problem was that for long stretches, it would be quite busy.  Blademan caught a few eyes as he walked the path covered in blood.  He was deep in thought.  His reputation was growing and his ability to procure funds was dwindling.  He received many stares from travelers and families and caravans.  He was not looking for stares.  He did not care about them.  He could tell from the vibrations that reached his head that there were approximately thirty people within his area of effect on the road, with ten in front of him, twenty behind him.  Of the twenty, four of which were huddled in a carriage, one of which was tucked in a secret compartment.  He walked through with little problem.  But there was one man that approached him¡­ he was doing more than staring.  Blademan noticed the man¡¯s torso pointed toward him, and a heavy forward step which meant he was getting ready to fight.

    These were the kind of stares he did care about. These were the kind of stares blademan loved.  The man approached him, his hand on the hilt of his weapon, a sword. Blademan kept walking, allowing the person to get closer.

    Blademan knew a fight was coming.  What he did not expect, was that he would recognize this person.

    ¡°Jason!¡±  Said the man.

    Uh oh.  Blademan did not like the way the pre-fight banter was going.

    ¡°I¡¯ll thank you to call me by my name.  Blademan.¡±

    ¡°I knew it!  I knew that was you when I saw the name on the poster.  Also, you always did say that if you weren¡¯t human, you¡¯d like to be a biped made entirely out of blades!  You think changing your appearance means you still don¡¯t owe Rotten Johnny his money?¡±

    The man took out his sword and approached Blademan.  The man struck Blademan who received the blow with a parry.

    The swords clanged together and people around them began running, a mother and father placed their children behind them as the family attempted to back away.

    ¡°I believe you that ¡®Jason¡¯ owes you money.  But I¡¯m Blademan, friend!  I¡¯m debt free for now!¡±

    ¡°Once I knew it was you, I went looking.  You know how easy you were to find?  You leave a trail of bodies wherever you go!  Even Rotten Johnny thought you were dead.  He was happy to let bygones be bygones.  To think you ran out on your wife and kid.¡±

    ¡°Blademan doesn¡¯t have any kids.  I¡¯d make a rotten father.¡±

    Blademan shifted his weight, letting the man¡¯s blade fall to the ground.  Blademan twisted his body and with the back half of his other arm, he dropped his blade on the man¡¯s neck.

    ¡°Cover his eyes.¡±

    Blademan¡¯s arm hovered over the bookie¡¯s neck.  It had stopped just short of stabbing him.  Blademan used his free hand to point to the child hiding behind his father¡¯s leg.

    ¡°Cover. His. Eyes.¡±

    The father turned and saw his son, attempting to peek out at the horrific scene from behind his dad.  The father grabbed his son and shielded his eyes.

    But the bookie had used that opportunity to escape.  He was already headed for the hills when he screamed back at Blademan, ¡°I¡¯m going to tell them!  I¡¯m going to tell Rotten Johnny and he¡¯s going to come for that wife and kid of yours!¡±

    ¡°I told you, Blademan doesn¡¯t have a kid.¡±  He pulled his arm back, let energy fester and released it.  The ranged blade stabbed the man through  the back of the skull and he dropped dead, ¡°I can¡¯t even hug my son.¡±

    He walked away.  He shook his headblade.  Some people still thought he was Jason.  Most people weren¡¯t letting him cash in on his ears.

    ¡°Bloody hell,¡± He heard the people examining his handiwork with the bookie, ¡°Musta been the Unkillable.  He took up shop at the tavern just over the hill and he ain¡¯t stopped drinking.¡±

    ¡°Someone ought to do something.  If he doesn¡¯t leave soon, we¡¯ve got to call the Prism Force to deal.¡±

    Blademan liked what he heard.  An unkillable force that was drinking.  He saw the tavern.  Looking through the window, there was only the terrified bartender, and a vampire that was somehow able to be out in broad daylight.  His cheek resting on his hand drowning his sorrows in a red.

    ¡°Finally, someone I can have a conversation with without the awkward tension of me wanting to kill him.¡±

    He walked into the bar, and that was how he met Davorin.

 Ch. 21: Too Little For Big Problems

    ¡°Dagnabbit,¡± Blademan said, ¡°Why¡¯d you go and do a thing like that?¡±

    Kip watched in horror as Blademan pulled out his bloodied blade.

    Jasssper slumped to the ground. The gaping wound in his lower half bled into the mud, mixing dark red with brown.

    ¡°Sssorry I interfered, Sire.¡± Jasssper uttered. The top of his head rested in the mud and he sank into the swamp, the consciousness leaving his eyes.

    Kip stared at Jasssper¡¯s body. Kip looked up at the waiting Blademan.

    ¡°Hiya,¡± Blademan said, ¡°Guess I gotta kill you all over again.

    Kip¡¯s eyebrows furrowed. He gripped his fists in anger and bounced his gaze between his fallen subject, and the dirtbag that put him there.

    ¡°That was a very dumb thing to do.¡±

    Blademan let out a deep breath, ¡°Don¡¯t bother channeling your anger. Channeling your own sense of superiority is much more effective.¡±

    Kip lurched. Blademan sighed as he stuck his blades up. Kip he stuck out his claws on his hands and his feet and closed them in on Blademan¡¯s blades. He hung on like a kind of Kobold kabob. Kip burped. He burped up a spot of flame right at Blademan, and Blademan turned his head away.

    ¡°disgusting!¡± Was all Blademan said.

    Kip scraped Blademan with all his might on his head.

    ¡°Ahh!¡± Blademan yelled. He tossed his hands up, launching Kip into the air. Blademan coiled power into his arms and punched at Kip in the air four times.

    Kip pushed himself higher into the air, the pulse of his updraft helping him avoid blasts one and two, but getting downed by blasts three and four. As he fell to the ground, Blademan jumped up to stab him, he tilted his wings and glided past Blademan¡¯s spear, raking the metal man¡¯s head, chest, thigh and calf down with his clawed finger. It created a long sinuous pathway of a wound on Blademan¡¯s body.

    As Blademan tried to kick Kip on his way down, Kip sank into the mud and disappeared again.

    ¡°Oh come on!¡± Blademan yelled, ¡°Don¡¯t tell me that¡¯s it! Another hide! Very clever! Look,¡± Blademan said as his feet collided into the earth, ¡°This is getting ridiculous, don¡¯t tell me you¡¯ve only got wings that bounce you up a little, claws that only scratch into my body a little, and a fire blast that only sparks A LITTLE! I¡¯m starting to think the big problems you have can¡¯t be solved because you¡¯re too darn little, Kippo!¡±

    Kip stuck up his snout, and bubbled air out of the mud, then inhaling. Blademan leapt toward him and stabbed, but Kip slipped back under. Blademan looked around,

    Bubbles ruptured through the surface of the mud and once again, Kip¡¯s snout came up for air in a different patch of the swamp, one closer to the water. Blademan reached out and stabbed it to no avail. Blademan waded through the mud.

    ¡°Let¡¯s face it, Kip. You let the snake die. If you keep being Dark Lord, other people are going to die too. I mean¡­ what a pathetic little fire blast you¡¯ve got¡­¡± Blademan noticed some bubbles coming up out of the water. He walked up to it as slowly as possible, holding his blade right above it, dizzy from the feeling that he was about to win. He waited.

    ¡°Maybe.¡± Kip said from behind Blademan, Blademan turned his head, his arm still positioned over the bubbles. Blademan looked back down, confused. Kip said, ¡°But a little help from natural gasoline should do the trick.¡±

    Then Kip burped again, the sparks lit the natural gas that had surrounded blademan and he became enveloped by flames. Blademan raised his hands and screamed, ¡°AAAHHHH!! AhhH! I¡¯m on fire! I¡¯m on fire! IIIii¡¯¡¯m made entirely of metal. Or did you forget, smart guy?¡±

    He let the fire continue consuming him as he stepped toward Kip. Now he was a great heap of blades, lit on fire, walking toward Kip, and Kip had nowhere to back out because of the lake to his back. Kip¡¯s face looked terrified, but as Kip let Blademan close the gap, the kobold¡¯s eyes furrowed again, and he smirked.

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    ¡°No,¡± Kip said, ¡°I didn¡¯t forget, but I think you forget what happened to metal when it heats up.¡±

    Blademan sliced at Kip. Kip dipped to the right and grabbed Blademan¡¯s arms, cutting into his palms as plunged into the water. Blademan was knocked off balance and fell into the cool murky water, the fires instantly quelling. Blademan attempted to move his arms to swim but he was stuck. His arms were sealed shut. He attempted to kick his legs but found that he could not. He was entirely immobilized. He could only watch as Kip breached the surface.

    Kip swam back to shore and waded through the mud as he went back to the spot Jasssper had collapsed. He approached the growing puddle of red and dug his hands into the mud as he yelled, ¡°Jasssper! Jasper, oh lord, Jasper!¡± His hands felt the thick scaly body of the court advisor. He pulled him out. Jasssper¡¯s lifeless eyes stared out to nowhere.

    ¡°I¡¯ll get you to safety. Please stay with me.¡± Kip said, ¡°Please.¡±

    He slapped the snake¡¯s face lightly. The snake did not respond. Jasssper¡¯s mouth was open and his forked tongue was hanging out of it.

    ¡°Azami! Azami! AZAMIII!¡± He saw the shack on stilts across the lake. He screamed again until his voice gave out. He breathed in and out, his own wounds mixing with Jasssper¡¯s. Kip shook his head, ¡°Action. Action. Action. Act, act, act.¡±

    He took the snake¡¯s limp body and coiled it around his neck like a fleshy scarf. Kip made sure to hold Jasssper¡¯s head in his hands. He began to walk around the embankment but then remembered. Blademan. He turned and saw the bubbles from Blademan¡¯s lungs coming out from the lake.

    ¡°Drat,¡± Kip said, ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Jasssper. I have to quickly save him. Kip waded back into the water. He placed Jasssper down on a large leaf that was big enough to float over the mud and dove back in. He grabbed Blademan¡¯s arm and pulled him out. Then propped hiss now petrified body up so that his torso was above the surface.

    ¡°I¡¯ll come back to deal with you later.¡± Kip said as he grabbed Jasssper and wrapped him around his neck and left.

    Azami had set a kettle of water on the fire and was reading a book called ¡°All¡¯s Fair In Love and Warts: A Witch X Goblin Romance¡± when a wrapping at her chamber door caught her attention. Azami said, ¡°Swiff!¡± Her magic broom shot over to the window as Azami took out her wand. Swiff looked through the window and bounced on the floor two times.

    ¡°Kip? And a snake?¡±

    Azami flicked her wand and her front door opened. Kip was standing there, gripping the snake in a large coil, breathing heavily. Both of them let blood from their wounds drip on the welcome mat right outside her place.

    ¡°Good Lord, Kip!¡± Azami said, ¡°What happened to you?¡±

    ¡°Nevermind me, help Jasssper, please.¡±

    Azami stuck her wand out and sprayed them gently with water, cleansing them of excess mud and blood.

    ¡°Lay him down on this table.¡±

    Kip walked in and laid Jasssper down. The court advisor was so long that both his head and tail were hanging off the table. Azami worked her magic. Using unguents to disinfect the wound and spells in her wand to close it up.

    Kip sat on the bench outside with his head in his hands, ¡°Kip?¡± Azami called, ¡°Kip, come in. Let¡¯s have a look at you.¡±

    ¡°Is Jasssper okay?¡±

    ¡°He¡¯ll be fine. The blade missed all the internal organs. Your snake friend is exceptionally good at getting stabbed. Now, let¡¯s fix you up.¡±

    As Azami worked on Kip¡¯s wounds, she asked for an explanation of the events. Kip recounted them as detached and unemotionally as he could, hoping that if he felt nothing at all he could evade the immense feelings of guilt and shame that swirled within him.

    ¡°He told me not to,¡± Kip said, ¡°He warned me. And he was correct. I should have trusted him.¡±

    ¡°It was your call to make,¡± Azami said, ¡°I¡¯m sure he understood that.¡±

    ¡°And it should have been me Blademan stabbed.¡± Kip shook his head as Azami waved her glowing wand over Kip¡¯s wounds, ¡°I feel like such an idiot.¡±

    ¡°You will feel like an idiot at times,¡± Azami said gently.

    ¡°Yeah, I was just hoping for a break, you know? As opposed to all the other times I feel like an idiot at this job.¡±

    Azami had finished healing Kip. Swiff came over with the hot kettle and poured Azami and Kip some tea, which Kip drank heartily.

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure how I can do this. People keep dropping at every turn. There isn¡¯t enough¡­ me to go around. And the challenges! I have to worry about threats from both outside this domain and within it! Good lord, Az¡­ I¡¯m not sure what I¡¯m supposed to do.¡±

    ¡°First thought, best thought,¡± Azami sat down next to Kip and looked out her window while she too sipped from her tea. She said, ¡°What¡¯s your greatest weakness?¡±

    ¡°Strength. Strength, easily. I can not keep going up against these people and barely winning. I need to grow. I need to get stronger.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re level four now, correct?¡±

    Kip opened up his scroll. He saw his normal stats. His strength stat had changed from 1 to 2.

    ¡°It has gone up.¡± Kip whispered.

    ¡°That¡¯s good! You¡¯ve been fighting a lot. Stronger enemies too. How do you feel?¡±

    ¡°Weak.¡± Kip said, ¡°Weaker than most.¡±

    He looked at his display, spending time looking through all the stats.

    ¡°Wait¡­ Azami¡­ what¡¯s this?¡±

    ¡°Oh. That¡¯s mighty interesting. Click on it.¡±

    Kip clicked on the tab with the big red 1 hovering over it. Normally it just meant for the Dark Lord to assign him to clean different traps. Since assuming the title, he hadn¡¯t seen anything pop up. But there it was in bright bulky red letters

    ¡°New Quest Available.¡±

 Ch. 22 The Bar Fight

    Tamas fell to the ground from the strength of the blow.

    ¡°Get away from him!¡± Lala said as she rushed over and pushed the man who whooped Tamas. The man confronted both the women that were there. They confronted him right back. The secrets now out in the open, things got rowdy and the mistress pushed the man in red so hard he bumped into another man. This caused a chain reaction and the entire bar used it as an opportunity to air their grievances, starting a bar brawl.

    Lala went to Tamas.

    ¡°Tamas!¡± Lala exclaimed, ¡°Are you okay?!¡±

    Tamas gripped his neck, his big belly resting on top of him. He looked up as Lala¡¯s red hair draped over him. He rubbed his neck and said, ¡°Better now.¡±

    Tamas pointed to his lute, now flung across the bar, ¡°Grab my lute! I¡¯ll play a tune.¡±

    Lala rushed over but two men brawling got in the way. Their fists exchanged blows back and forth as Lala tried to rush around them. She awkwardly stood there saying, ¡°Uhm.. excuse me¡­ sorry, if I could just¡­ Uh, excuse me¡­¡±

    The changeling could not bring herself to be heard by the two men, opting for meekly going around. Unfortunately, the two women squabbled on the ground. Lala transformed into the burly man in red and told the women, ¡°I love you both. Maybe we can work something out?¡±

    That precise combination of words caused them both to focus their anger on him. Lala realized she¡¯d made a mistake and attempted to escape from both of them.

    Tamas turned onto his belly and crawled toward the lute. A thick black boot got in his way. Tamas looked up. The burly guy from before looked at him with fury as he said, ¡°You ruined me.¡±

    Tamas shook his head and said, ¡°That¡¯s not fair man, if you get two girls, shouldn¡¯t they both be allowed two guys?¡±

    The burly man picked up Tamas by his toga and pulled him until he was on his feet, and then the man kept pulling, until Tamas was off the ground and his little hooved feet dangled in the air.

    ¡°I¡¯m a lover not a fighter.¡± Tamas said, ¡°But I make love quite violently.¡±

    Tamas grabbed the ends of the burly man¡¯s throat and proceeded to choke him out.

    Davilo clenched his fists, ¡°I shall raze this place to the ground and the next one until I get my dear boy back. Understand me, pig?¡±

    Stormbristle could not hear the particulars. In the hullabaloo, Storm¡¯s tiny size made for the perfect volleyball. He was being punted around the crowd. He could only call out, ¡°Stealth, dear lord! Stealth!¡±

    Davilo clenched his fists, sparks flew from the friction in his hands but he calmed himself and said, ¡°Fine. Stealth.¡±

    ¡°Get the satyr¡¯s lute, my lord!¡± Stormbristle asked.

    Davilo walked through the bar fight. He avoided the chaos that unfolded, expertly evading a punch thrown and when two fought near him he gently nudged them elsewhere. He went down to pick up the lute but noticed¡­ his hands glimmered with flames. He was still running hot, and before he could touch the instrument, he would need water.

    The burly man punched Tamas right in the nose again, ¡°Oh, man. What¡¯s the safe word? I''m not having fun no more.¡±

    Another knock to the nose. The man reeled back again but was tackled by the two women he was in a relationship with. Tamas got up again, cradling his now crooked nose.

    Lala called out to Tamas, ¡°Tamas!¡± Tamas turned to look. Lala was back in her favorite form. A woman with flowy red hair, two diamond blue eyes. She held the lute in the air. Tamas lifted his hand waiting for Lala to throw it at him. Lala was never a big thrower. She cranked her arm backward and chucked it, releasing the lute way too late. It sailed over Tamas¡¯ head. Tamas sighed and turned around. The lute sailed past Stormbristle, as he floated between rowdy patron to rowdy patron.

    ¡°Missed it!¡± Stormbristle cried.

    The brawl continued as the lute landed with a discordant thud on a table. An old man with calloused hands picked it up, examining the craftsmanship. Tamas stepped over and ran up to him. He grabbed it out of his hands.

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    ¡°Sorry, not for you.¡±

    ¡°Impressive craftsmanship. Wouldn¡¯t happen to be-¡±

    ¡°No time!¡± Tamas said as he turned around. He twirled the lute in his hand, donned the strap and started playing a serene tune, adjusting the pegs along the way.

    ¡°I cast a spell you¡¯ll hear no peep

    The dreamy silence means you¡¯ll be put to sleep.¡±

    And he cast Bedtime Melody. The notes spilled out of the strings as he plucked them. Every note became a real physical manifestation and all of them had tiny night caps on. They swirled throughout the bar and slowly crept into the bar flies¡¯ ears. One by one, starting with the smallest bodies they went down. Some softly, as it hit them but they resisted. Others flopped to the ground. Only one person stood a chance of resisting it. The burly man with two partners. His head pivoted and flopped around on his neck and he lost focus. It was as if there was a wall coming to push him off some ledge into unconsciousness, but he held with the strength to withstand the wall.

    Stormbristle was finally freed and to regain his size, he drifted over to an unguarded beer on the bar. He licked from the top of the glass. He slowly puffed back up as he drank two, and then three more beers. His cloudy body taking on a slight amber color.

    Tamas kept playing and Lala shifted back to the burly man. She went to punch him, hoping that would help knock him out, but he remained standing. He grabbed his cheek and placed the other hand on the table, refusing to go down. Lala shook her hand, the pain from that one punch costing her dearly. ¡°My lord, may you try? Surely with your strength¡­¡±

    Davilo took his two fists out of the beer he was soaking them in, ¡°My dear, I worry my smallest punch would turn this man into a pile of ash. Surely Tamas can¡­¡±

    ¡°Still playing over here.¡± Tamas kept strumming the notes, sustaining the chords for as long as he could.

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ not going down..¡± The burly man said as he raised himself up.

    ¡°I¡¯m about to lose the magic,¡± Tamas said, ¡°He must have resisted. If he holds off, then he¡¯ll be awake again and angry that I cast that spell on him.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ almost through,¡± The man said. Then he stood up, and with his eyes closed, slowly opened them.

    Then got¡­ a small shock and fell to his knees, then down to the ground. A small sinewy bolt of lightning had come from the bar. Lala, Tamas, and Davilo all turned to look at Stormbristle, who stood there cross-eyed.

    ¡°N-now that that¡¯s settled,¡± Stormbristle said between hiccups, ¡°Why don¡¯t we all follow s-suit and take a nap.¡±

    And Stormbristle closed his eyes, and he too went to sleep, for he was but a little boar and had drunk a lot of beer in a short amount of time.

    Davilo, Tamas, and Lala all looked at each other as she became her normal gray form.

    ¡°What do we do now?¡± Tamas asked.

    ¡°We have to question someone,¡± Lala asked, ¡°Right, lord?¡±

    ¡°Yes. Maybe we wake one of these droogs up and question them. But first, we can wake up the bartender and threaten to burn his bar down if he doesn¡¯t answer us.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s establish what we know before we burn any bar down. We¡¯ve already put everyone to sleep.¡±

    ¡°What did you learn before the brawl?¡± Davilo asked.

    ¡°We talked to the butcher, he said that the price for Sal was too high,¡± Tamas said. Then¡­ There were no more butchers left so we wanted to get drunk.¡±

    ¡°Tamas wanted to get drunk,¡± Lala said.

    ¡°I wanted us both to get drunk,¡± Tamas continued, ¡°And we felt the bar was the best option. So we went to the nearest one. I met a load of people and learned their stories. Some people dug my vibe. Some people didn''t. Then the brawl happened.¡±

    ¡°It wast true,¡± Lala said, Tamas got a lot of people talking and dancing. Before the brawl.¡±

    ¡°Anything we could use?¡± Davilo asked, ¡°Think about it¡±

    ¡°We should not be here when they all wake up,¡± Tamas said, ¡°The old man figured I was fey by my lute. He couldn¡¯t stop asking about it and asked questions I didn¡¯t know the answer to, like what fey century it was made, or what wood it was made of.¡±

    ¡°It was the Milkteenth century. And it¡¯s clearly made of a Luce Spruce. A kind of wood only native to the feywild.¡± Davilo said, ¡°Why would he want to know any of that stuff?¡±

    ¡°It was one of the things we talked about,¡± Lala said, ¡°He was an appraiser. There¡¯s apparently a kind of sale that goes on. Should we wake him up? I wouldn¡¯t want to bother him¡­ he¡¯s sleeping so serenely.¡±

    ¡°A sale¡­¡± Davilo said, ¡°An auction?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡± Tamas and Lala both said.

    ¡°The Auction. The option. The auction.. That¡¯s where they¡¯re going to be!¡±

    Lala exclaimed, ¡°Tamas, check the old man¡¯s pockets!¡±

    Tamas walked up to the old man and skimmed through his pockets. Inside was the admission to the auction happening at the central hall.

    ¡°Wait!¡± Lala said, ¡°Drat.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Davilo asked.

    ¡°He¡¯s not going as a normal auction buyer. This is a seller¡¯s ticket. We have to be able to produce something worth selling. Besides, there¡¯s only two.¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± Davilo said, ¡°He seemed interested in your lute, Tamas.¡±

    ¡°Right,¡± Tamas said, ¡°But did you see how useless I was without it? Besides, you know I''ve got a punchable face.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right. It wouldn¡¯t work. Besides, with only two tickets, we might need you to sneak in some other way.¡±

    Lala thought about it for a second and snapped her finger, ¡°I¡¯ve¡­ got an idea. A unique magical creature that isn¡¯t much seen around these parts. Only problem is he¡¯s drunk.¡±

    Davilo, Tamas, and Lala all turned to Stormbristle, who snored offensively.

    ¡°Wake up, pig,¡± Said Davilo.

    Stormbristle opened his eyes and groggily looked up at all three of them.

    ¡°Wazzit?¡± He scrambled to say, ¡°What was¡­ who said what?¡±

    ¡°Hey, buddy,¡± Tamas said, ¡°We have a plan for finding Sal.¡±

    ¡°Amazing.¡± Stormbristle said, ¡°Wake me when you do¡±

    ¡°Pig,¡± Davilo said, ¡°How do you feel about being locked in a cage?¡±

 Ch 23: Snake In The Garden

    When Jasssper woke up it was in a cabin he did not recognize. The walls of ingredients and the muggy smell of the swamp tipped him off that this was likely the residence of one Azami the bog witch.

    He could hear Azami lightly humming as she tended to her garden while outside. When he rolled over in bed, he saw a sleeping Lord Kip next to him. The Dark Lord had an innocent snot bubble expand and contract. Kip must have stayed by his side all night and fallen asleep. Jasssper looked at the Dark Lord and a thought crossed his mind, ¡°I could bite down on his neck and kill him dead.¡± Jasssper slithered out of bed and went outside.

    Azami was delicately balancing on Swiff, her broom, while she watered the plants. It wasn¡¯t until the broom pivoted and she was on to the next row when she noticed him.

    ¡°Well, hello!¡± Azami greeted, chipper, ¡°And how are we feeling?¡±

    ¡°Did I get stabbed by a man made of blades?¡¯

    ¡°That you did, or so I¡¯m told!¡± Azami said.

    ¡°I feel exsssactly like that just happened to me.¡±

    ¡°Understandable. We should probably wake up Kip. He¡¯s been waiting by your side for a long time.¡±

    Jasssper looked back at Kip through the window and back at Azami, ¡°The kobold. How long have you known him?¡±

    Azami put her finger to her chin as she thought, ¡°Hmmm. I first moved out here about four years ago. He was already head of traps, I think. He offered to show me around and explain which traps were where. I didn¡¯t listen and got snagged. He helped me out of it. While he could not safely get me back to my cabin, he assisted me in bringing the necessary potions to help heal me enough to stand on my own.¡±

    ¡°You trust him?¡± Jasssper asked.

    Azami nodded her head, ¡°He came by every day after for the next month and made sure I knew where the traps were. He was insistent.¡±

    ¡°Do you believe¡­¡± Jasssper stopped himself from saying anything.

    Azami stepped off her broom, ¡°I believe he has the tools to figure things out. He just needs time.¡±

    ¡°We both almost got killed.¡± Jasssper said, ¡°By an outsider.¡±

    Azami nodded her head, ¡°Why did you jump in the way and save him? Didn¡¯t you believe in him too?¡±

    Jasssper stared out at the swamp, he could make out through the crook of a tree the rough area they all fought in. He lifted himself up, higher on his hind tail and could make out the spot that Blademan was still frozen on.

    ¡°Seemed the thing to do for one¡¯sss Dark Lord,¡± Jasssper said.

    ¡°That¡¯s loyal of you,¡± Azami said.

    Jasssper turned to her, a guilty expression on his face.

    ¡°We all came here with a question in mind. One that needed answering. For me, it was simple. Can I find a little peace to tend to my herbs? Kip could give me that.¡±

    ¡°And what if one day he promises the wrong person something, and he leads a ssnake to your garden?¡±

    Azami didn¡¯t say anything to this. She merely hummed before Kip shouted from the inside of the cabin.

    ¡°JAASSSSPER!¡± Kip ran out, stumbled over the porch and nearly fell down the stairs, then hugged Jasssper. Jasssper could not return the hug for he was a snake and possessed no arms, ¡°I¡¯m so sorry about that, Jasper.¡± Kip said, ¡°I should have trusted you. You told me he was bad news and I didn¡¯t believe you.¡±

    ¡°Yesss,¡± Jasssper said, ¡°Maybe now you will be quicker to trussst me,¡± He said.

    ¡°Of course! And the way you jumped in my way! My lord, I owe you one!¡±

    Jasssper¡¯s smile found its way back onto his face, ¡°Yessss, Sire. I rather think you do.¡±

    ¡°Within reason.¡±

    ¡°What?!¡± Jasssper asked.

    The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

    ¡°I owe you a favor within reason.¡±

    ¡°S-s-sire!¡± Jasssper said, ¡°I beg you to reconsider!¡±

    ¡®What?¡± Kip asked, ¡°No. Jasssper. I owe you one but it¡¯s not like I¡¯m going to give you the keys to the kingdom.¡±

    Jasssper said with resignation, ¡°Yesss, Sire. Thy will be done.¡±

    ¡°Right. So, anyway. We¡¯ve got some explaining to do. Come on!¡±

    Kip started to head down.

    ¡°Where to, sire?¡± Jasssper asked.

    ¡°We¡¯ve got to deal with Blademan.¡±

    They said goodbye to Azami and walked back to the immbolized body of Blademan, still sealed shut and propped up.

    Muffled, Blademan said, ¡°oil can.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°Oil can.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure I hear him.¡±

    Through gritted teeth he said, ¡°Oy! Can you help me or not?¡±

    ¡°Right,¡± Kip said, ¡°Look, Blademan. I want to say that it was my fault I trusted you. And¡­ I shouldn¡¯t have done that. It was a little naive and it almost cost mine and Jasssper¡¯s life.¡±

    ¡°I agree.¡± Said Jasssper.

    ¡°As do I!¡± Said, Blademan.

    ¡°Right, thank you all,¡± Kip said, ¡°As such, it would behoove me to listen to my advisor now. I¡¯m sorry, Blademan. We¡¯re going to pass. We¡¯ll keep your resume on file.¡±

    ¡°Sire, I have changed my recommendation.¡±

    Kip¡¯s head whipped to look at Jasssper, ¡°You have?¡±

    ¡°I believe we should hire him to be the substitute mob boss for the third floor.¡±

    ¡°What?!¡± Kip yelled.

    ¡°Pardon my bladeself?¡± Blademan asked.

    ¡°Sire,¡± The snake said, ¡°I know a little bit more about who Blademan is now. I know that he likes power more than anything. And I know that he likes fighting more than anything.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s true,¡± Blademan said, ¡°More than my own children!¡±

    ¡°Try not to say that so gleefully,¡± Kip said.

    ¡°Can¡¯t help it.¡±

    ¡°Sire, he can¡¯t challenge you again for two months. And more importantly, we can give him what he wants. Many powerful dungeoneers run through our labyrinth and Blademan will stop them.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s correct.¡± Blademan said, studying this angle, ¡°I¡¯m¡­ willing to hear this out, Kippo. If you are.¡±

    ¡°So, you¡¯ll be a mob boss until Zeke is healed. We have many places for someone of your calibre. Then, after two months you get to try again. You¡¯ll have the ability to challenge me and then get even more power. It¡¯s interesting.¡±

    Bladman tried to nod, but was immbolized, ¡°What¡¯s the catch?¡±

    Jasssper continued, ¡°If you kill the Dark Lord outssside of a challenge, nobody will respect your authority. There is order here. You have to play by our rulesss. And that means more than just being a mob bossss.¡±

    Blademan let out a deep sigh, ¡°Could you please get me out of here?¡±

    Kip thought about it. He looked back at the snake and said, ¡°You¡¯re sure?¡±

    ¡°It would help you too, would it not?¡±

    Kip shrugged in the affirmative, ¡°What do you think?¡±

    Blademan thought about it, ¡°I haven¡¯t spent a lot of time looking for a home, Kippo. Maybe I thought I could take one by force. But¡­ I like the idea of a gig. Oh! There¡¯s something higher than mob boss¡¯ right? That vampire mentioned it. A Floor Lord?¡±

    ¡°Yes. There are rules for that, but you can try to become a floor lord. May I ask, what is it that Davorin said?¡±

    ¡°I met him at some bar. He was drunk and complaining about how he lost a challenge to you. I got him more drunk and pieced together some info from there.¡±

    ¡°So he didn¡¯t vet you at all?¡±

    ¡°He had a strong distaste for me, if that¡¯s what you¡¯re asking.¡±

    Kip nodded, silently kicking himself, ¡°So, I¡¯ve agreed to let you in. But you owe Jasssper a huge debt of gratitude. Huge. He¡¯s really pulling for you here.¡±

    ¡°If I could bow I would. I am in your debt, snake.¡±

    Jasssper lit up, ¡°You mean that?¡±

    ¡°Within reason.¡±

    ¡°I- oh. You play by those rulesss too. Fine.¡±

    Kip whispered to Jasssper, ¡°I know how much you love having people owe you a favor.¡±

    Jasssper blushed, ¡°Oh you noticed?¡±

    Kip took his oil can and spritzed them on his joints, ¡°It¡¯s like Jasssper said. It¡¯s more than being a mob boss. It¡¯s about being a part of a community. We have chores, and duties and we protect each other.¡±

    Kip grabbed his arm and looked over at Jasssper, ¡°Help me pull.¡±

    Jasssper wrapped his leg around Blademan¡¯s arm, Kip grabbed it too, and they both pulled hard. There was a brief moment of tension and then a crack was heard and his arm was free.

    ¡°Ahh!¡± Blademan said, ¡°That feels damn good. Other arm please?¡±

    They freed the other arm as well. Then they worked on the leg, for this they had to take both legs and, one leg each and pull him apart. Blademan was most nervous for this exercise.

    Blademan was free. He stretched his right arm, he stretched his left arm, he stretched his legs, and then he propelled himself behind Kip and Jasssper, wrapped his arms around them and placed his blades next to their necks.

    ¡°One little problem, Kippo, what¡¯s to stop me from betraying you both right now? Say that it was I who won the fight?¡±

    Kip activated his scroll. He found a tab that said ¡®Results¡¯ and pointed at it.

    Results:

    Kip 1 Blademan 0

    ¡°If you killed me without the system¡¯s approval, your win won¡¯t be seen as legitimate. The leadership goes to someone else and you will be the number one enemy of the Dark Lord¡¯s estate.

    Blademan kept his blades to Kip¡¯s and Jasssper¡¯s neck, then let out a chuckle, ¡°You really got me, Kippo. I¡¯ll be the sub until Zeke¡¯s back on his feet. I¡¯ll do a damn good job of it too.¡±

    He retracted his blades, turned his back to them and walked away, before turning back around and saying, ¡°I think we can have a lot of fun together, Kippo.¡±

    Kip shook his head and whispered to Jasssper, ¡°You think this will work?¡±

    ¡°I think if you give someone exactly what they want, they¡¯ll be happy for a time but sssoon want more. You¡¯re giving him some of what he wants and keeping the other just out of reach. I think he¡¯ll make the perfect ally.¡±

    Kip nodded.

    Kip clicked through his scroll to another part of his system, ¡°That was a gimmie, now we really have to get to work.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean, Sire?¡±

    Kip pointed at the part under Quest. Jasssper scrunched his eyes and looked.

    Quest: Gain 20 followers (1/20)

    47 hours, 45 minutes, 21 seconds remaining

 Ch. 24: The Auction

    Davilo and Lala both entered the auction halls with their disguises. Davilo was no longer in his red duds, but in fact in a white seersucker suit with a large brimmed hat, sunglasses, and he¡¯d conjured his pitchfork into a cane.

    Lala had become her favorite form as well. A shining beautiful face minus the scar on her cheek that followed her with every shape she changed into. She wore a red dress and walked into the auction hall on Davilo¡¯s arm.

    Davilo flashed his two tickets as they walked in. The auction hall had a lively air. It was a longhouse for some number of years when the town was still first built by vikings and explorers. The longhouse remained intact and well treated as the ages advanced and kingdoms reshuffled. Now, it was a small town in a small province of the Ulmund Kingdom. The need for a longhouse had gone away but the need for an auction house was never more apparent. Everyone had dressed in their best attire. Merchants, traders, and bigwigs from around Milik and the nearby cosmopolis of Mandelcub. Davilo kept his brimmed hat tipped in case everyone recognized him, and with his anonymity, began looking for the Ducervi.

    Unfortunately, the band had called in sick. Apparently they all felt a strange stomach flu when they heard a particular brown note strummed from a lute a block away. It caused them such ailment that they canceled at the last minute. The auctioneer cursed himself, wondering where he was going to find entertainment. That was when a gift from the heavens fell into his lap. A man that donned a headscarf and could play better than anyone he¡¯d ever heard played near the auction house. It was serendipity. He paid Tamas a smaller fee than he¡¯d pay the band and asked him to play immediately. Tamas accepted.

    Davilo nodded to Tamas as the satyr played his lute and sang. Lala detached from Davilo¡¯s arm to get a drink at the bar. She turned around, resting her elbows at the bar and scanning the room as Davilo chatted it up with what looked like two warlords.

    ¡°You are as beautiful as ever,¡± Lala turned to see an old sod

    Lala smiled, more comfortable being noticed in this form, ¡°Thank you, but I¡¯m with my husband.¡±

    The man¡¯s face housed a look of confusion, ¡°I know you, don¡¯t I?¡±

    Lala¡¯s smile wilted, ¡°I¡¯m certain you don¡¯t. We¡¯ve never met before tonight.¡±

    ¡°Sorry, I didn¡¯t catch your name,¡± He said.

    ¡°Lala,¡± Lala said, ¡°And what¡¯s yours?¡±

    ¡°Lala,¡± The older man said it as if he was playing with a piece of gristle in his mouth. Determining if the taste and texture was right, ¡°Odd name, is it not?¡±

    ¡°Uhm,¡± Lala said, ¡°I can try a different name if you¡¯d like! Some of my friends shorten it to La.¡±

    The older man studied Lala, his gaze coming to the indelible scar on her cheek.

    ¡°My, how¡¯d you get something so heinous? Hopefully the person that did that¡¯s still in stockings.¡±

    Lala let out a polite laugh and used her hair to cover up her scar, she looked down, ¡°I really must be getting back to my husband. It was wonderful meeting you.¡±

    Lala turned and stepped forward. She walked back to Davilo but as she did the man¡¯s words cut through to her.

    ¡°Marisola!¡±

    Lala stopped dead in her tracks and turned.

    ¡°Marisola?¡± He asked again.

    Lala took a few panicked short breaths before propping up a smile and saying, ¡°I¡¯m sorry! Not familiar. You¡¯ve got the wrong girl.¡± And she walked off to meet Davilo.

    Lala approached him and sat on the seat next to him, she could feel from the dry air that Davilo was fuming. His knuckles were white with how hard he was gripping his cane as he sat.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Lala asked.

    Davilo pointed with his cane, trying not to send too much eye contact his way. Lala followed where his cane was pointing. They were exactly as described. Tucked in the corner of the auction house were four people, boisterous and clanking glasses. Well, one of them anyway. The blond man, ¡®Casios¡¯ was hooting and hollering while the Orc tried to calm him down. The dwarf scanned the area for threats, and the elf was asleep, presumably taking a power nap from an abundance of wine. An idea procured by the sea of empty bottles around them.

    ¡°Let¡¯s just try to calm down,¡± Lala said to Davilo, ¡°We need to find the back of the auction house and steal Sal back. This isn¡¯t the time to be making ourselves known.¡±

    Davilo shook his head, ¡°Fine. But I best not cross paths with those ruffians. For their sake and mine.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s just try to avoid them. Confrontation isn¡¯t necessary,¡± Lala said, ¡°I wonder how Stormbristle is doing in that tiny cage?¡±

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    Stormbristle was doing very poorly. The cage they could secure was meant for a mid sized dog and Stormbristle could only barely fit because of his spent with Davilo. Since he had been away, some of the moisture in the air plumped him up, making the cage even more uncomfortable. He could not move and thus could not get a good look at his surroundings. He could hear the calls of some animals, as well as some artifacts, weapons, cahrms, and and do-dads.

    ¡°Sal!¡¯ He hissed, hoping to get his attention, ¡°Sal! Tell me you¡¯re here!¡±

    Stormbristle waited for somebody to reply. He sighed and hissed again, ¡°Sal!!¡±

    ¡°He ain¡¯t here.¡± A voice came from behind him.

    ¡°Who is that?¡± Storm asked, ¡°Speak now! I can not turn.¡±

    ¡°They keep all the enchanteds and demis locked up in a different part of the auctioneer house. More like jail cells then cages.¡±

    Stormbristle clammed up instantly. Had he caught the attention of the auctioneer? Or some guard? Had he given up that he was an enchanted too early?

    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± The pitchy voice asked.

    Stormbristle kept his mouth shut.

    ¡°I asked, what are you doing here, piggy. You¡¯re a storm boar, ain¡¯t ya?¡± The voice cawed out.

    Stormbristle had one last defense left. He closed his eyes and started to snore.

    ¡°Are you pretending to fall asleep? What, cause I know your jig?¡±

    Stormbristle snored again, keeping his eyes closed. He heard the clatter of movement and sealed himself more, then when he thought it was safe, Stormbristle opened one eye. Staring right back at him, hanging upside down from the top of the cage was a pink monkey with little horns on his head.

    ¡°Helloo!¡± The monkey cried out.

    Davilo grabbed his cane and stood up with ceremony. Lala looked up at him but grabbed his arm to pull him down, ¡°Please, Lord Davilo. We can¡¯t cause a scene. It will ruin the plan.¡±

    Davilo let out the low grumblings of a man just barely complying. But he sat back down.

    ¡°We can¡¯t catch their attention,¡± Said Lala as she turned to look. Raka was staring right back at her. Lala quickly turned away and stared back. Her gaze went to Tamas who tuning his lute for another song. .

    ¡°We avoid them,¡± Lala said in a hushed tone, ¡°Best thing to do is to just avoid them.¡±

    ¡°Excuse me,¡± The rough and tumble voice of one green orquette entered the frame of both Davilo and Lala¡¯s vision. Lala looked up and standing in front of her was Raka.

    ¡°I¡¯m a Ducervi mercenary and I was taken by your beauty. Would you and your¡­ father like to join us for drinks?¡±

    Lala¡¯s cheeks reddened, She looked over and saw Casios and the dwarf waving at her. ¡°Oh, we couldn¡¯t¡­¡±

    ¡°No, we couldn¡¯t,¡± Said Davilo.

    ¡°We shouldn¡¯t,¡± Lala continued.

    ¡°We really shouldn¡¯t.¡±

    And at the same time they said,

    ¡°So I must decline,¡± ¡°But we shall.¡±

    Lala looked up at Davilo in shock. The devil was staring straight past Raka, to the blonde man that Kip had informed him had taken his salamander. Davilo got up, and walked to their table. Raka looked expectantly at Lala, Davilo turned back too.

    ¡°Lala, Dear, mustn¡¯t keep your old father waiting. Your new friends have invited us to join.¡±

    Lala shook her head silently at Davilo who stared daggers back at her. Their silent conversation was interrupted by Raka saying, ¡°We have wine!¡±

    ¡°Wine!¡± Davilo said, ¡°Did you hear that, Lala? Wine¡¯s her favorite, she¡¯s a drunk! Come now.¡±

    And Davilo walked toward the remainder of the group. Raka offered her hand. Lala demurley received Raka¡¯s hand and off they went, to mingle with the enemy.

    ¡°So,¡± The monkey said, ¡°You¡¯s hoping to find your friend, is it? They don¡¯t deal with talkers up here. No no. Theys good business folk. They sell the talkers privately.¡±

    ¡°So you pretended you weren¡¯t enchanted?¡± Stormbristle asked.

    ¡°What¡¯s that they say? One in ten thousand?¡± The monkey asked, ¡°We lucky few, huh? And it makes us even more valuable. And for what? For the dirtiest humanses to keep us as pets? No. I won¡¯t give them the dignity. They paying for a pink horned monkey. Not a talking one. Then, when I get sent to their cages, I breaks out, eh? Easy as.¡±

    ¡°Easy as,¡± Stormbristle said, ¡°And it seems you¡¯ve already broken out,¡± The pink horned monkey was free as a bird, ¡°Why don¡¯t you just leave now?¡±

    ¡°Cuz then we don¡¯t get the money, brainless.¡± The monkey said, ¡°Me and the doofus have been taking humans for all they worth for too long. Bout to retire he is. Mes? I ain¡¯t so spry myself. You stay on the job too long you¡¯ll get caught for real. If a person who bought a pink horned monkey found out he paid for a pink horned monkey and got a talking one? Thats what humanses call a ¡®come up.¡¯ You ain¡¯t wanna be nobody¡¯s come up.¡±

    ¡°Sir,¡± Stormbristle said, ¡°You could take your wealth and join the Dark Lord¡¯s empire. He¡¯s building a haven for enchanteds. We¡¯re treated better there than anywhere else. With decency and civility. If you help me and my friend get out, then we can give you a home.¡±

    The pink horned monkey cocked his head, ¡°It ain¡¯t the decents that pay me, brainless,¡±

    Stormbristle shook his head, ¡°May I ask for your name?¡±

    ¡°Keesee. Like¡­ monkey see. Hey, you want to be with your friend, don¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°May you let me out of this cage, Keesee?¡± Stormbristle asked.

    ¡°Sure could. Easy as. This thing¡¯s a sitch for opposable thumbs.¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ may you?¡± Stormbrisle asked

    ¡°May I?¡± The monkey repeated, ¡°You talk like some kinda human, boar. You talk like a kinda human I don¡¯t like. May I¡¯s and pleases and all that right before they try and eat ya.¡±

    ¡°I-I¡¯m sorry I just¡­¡±

    ¡°Look boar, you think just because I talk and you talk means we got something in common?¡±

    ¡°I figured it would be the decent thing to do.¡±

    ¡°How¡¯s decent going for ya?¡±

    ¡°What the hell are you doing out of your cage?!¡± Stormbristle and the monkey turned to the north of the room where the auctioneer was staring daggers at both of them. Stormbristle froze. The auctioneer walked right up to the monkey

    ¡°You shouldn¡¯t be outside of your cage this close to the showtime.¡±

    The pink horned monkey looked at Stormbristle, ¡°We got ourselves a talker here.¡±

    The auctioneer looked at Stormbristle, ¡°You¡¯re sure?¡±

    ¡°Sure as. He was giving me a few pointers on how to talk better even. Me thinks you should remove him from the pool. Send him down with the other talkers.¡±

    The auctioneer sighed, ¡°I¡¯ll tell the boys right away. But the auction¡¯s about to start so please make it back to your cage!¡±

    Keesee did a mocking salute and headed out as the auctioneer grabbed Stormbristle¡¯s cage. Storm whinnied and squealed to try to keep up appearances as the auctioneer dragged him down below with the other enchanted creatures, but he broke.

    ¡°Why?! Why, Keesee!?¡±

    ¡°Sorry, boar. It¡¯s like I told ya. You¡¯s a come up. You ain¡¯t wanna be nobody¡¯s come up.¡±

 Ch 25: The Confrontation

    People felt warm and cozy in the auction hall in Milik. Most thought it was because someone had thrown an extra log on the fire, but it was because of the fire that raged in Davilo¡¯s heart. He gripped his cane as he sat in between the party that had taken one of his subjects.

    Raka had cozied up next to Lala, exchanging pleasantries. Lala shielded her scarred left side to Raka as she pretended to laugh at the orc¡¯s jokes. Davilo, was less of a party person.

    ¡°What is it you do, old timer?¡± Casios aske as he splayed his arms on the couch.

    ¡°I am in the hunting game.¡± Davilo said, ¡°Hunting and retrieval.¡±

    ¡°Buying or selling today?¡± The dwarf asked as he reached for the nearly empty third bottle of wine on the table.

    ¡°Selling. A Stormboar. Runtish, but still. Would make for an excellent door guard. What about you both? Buying or selling?¡±

    ¡°Drinking mainly,¡± Casios said as he cheered with the dwarf and lifted his empty cup to let the waitress know to bring them another. The waitress rolled her eyes but left to bring them another bottle.

    ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± Casios said, ¡°Pretend like it¡¯s such a chore to talk to me. We all know you are going to head back to this table eventually.¡±

    ¡°Surely,¡± Davilo said through a smile, ¡°That¡¯s not the only reason you¡¯re here.¡±

    ¡°Notice the two headed stag? You must know what that means, every fool with a heartbeat could tell you,¡± Casios said, ¡°Means we¡¯re a big deal. People want us places.¡±

    Davilo looked at the emblem. On it was a two headed stag. One whose head was facing away, not allowing them to see their eyes. The other showed its side profile. One eye seen on the shirt. Both sans antlers.

    ¡°Two hummels,¡± Davilo said quietly.

    ¡°Design choice,¡± Casios waved his hand away and looked at his empty glass of wine. The dwarf let out a breath.

    Raka bristled in her seat, ¡°The company said they could use Ducervi as security. They offered us drinks in exchange for our sustained presence here.¡± .

    ¡°Suppose they need some good fighters in case something goes awry.¡± The dwarf said while staring at Davilo.

    ¡°Suppose you might.¡± Then Davilo looked over at Baela, the sorceress who was knocked out from the first bottle.

    Casios once again waved his hand, ¡°She¡¯s there when we need her. Besides, she¡¯s a light sleeper.¡±

    The dwarf leaned in, ¡°So, a storm boar. What are you doing with that way out here?¡±

    Davilo turned to the dwarf, ¡°Forgive me. But¡­ I am still so confused. You all are here in this auction house to enjoy a drink? In exchange for your security services? Surely, if they needed your services your company would have charged them money, No?¡±

    The dwarf leaned back in his chair and grabbed the bottle out of the waitress¡¯ hand before opening the cork with his teeth and drinking from the bottle.

    ¡°Come now, dwarf,¡± Casios said, ¡°We all share that.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll wipe it on my sleeve,¡± The dwarf said. Then, to Davilo said, ¡°You¡¯re right. The open bar¡¯s a consolation prize. They didn¡¯t accept our booty but offered us a pick of the booze.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Davilo asked, ¡°And what, pray tell, did you bring as booty? And where is it now?¡±

    ¡°You ask a lotta questions, partner.¡± A soft but unfettered voice said.

    Davilo looked over at the new voice.

    ¡°Baela,¡± Casios said, ¡°You¡¯re awake! We were entertaining our new friends.¡±

    ¡°I see them,¡±

    Lala reached her hand out to Baela who looked right at it and didn¡¯t shake, ¡°I¡¯m Lala. Very nice to meet you.¡±

    Baela looked right down at it.

    ¡°Don¡¯t be rude,¡± Raka said, ¡°Shake her hand.¡±

    Baela scoffed but shook Lala¡¯s hand. Lala offered the sincerest smile she could muster.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to take a walk.,¡± Baela said, ¡°walk off some of that booze. Anyone want to join me?¡±

    Casios stood up, ¡°I could use a romp. Shall you join us?¡±

    ¡°Uh,¡± Lala said, she looked at Davilo. He shook his head, ¡°We shalln¡¯t. We would very much like to stay here.¡±

    Baela and Davilo did not stop staring at each other, ¡°Unfortunately so,¡± Davilo said through his barely concealed glare, ¡°Seems our pork is soon to be on the menu.¡±

    A gentle but firm voice said on the megaphone, ¡°Good evening buyers and sellers, as the auction continues we do have to make a slight adjustment. It seems that Item 17 was an enchanted animal. This was a mistake on our part for not properly vetting and we are releasing them to freedom as is compliant with the law. Thank you.¡±

    ¡°What?!¡± Lala said, ¡°Davi¡­ did you hear that?¡±

    ¡°Uh,¡± Raka interjected, ¡°Guys. We have to stay until the end. We promised our services.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll be back,¡± Casios said.

    ¡°I have the meat sweats,¡± The dwarf said, ¡°I could use a merry walk for my digestion.¡±

    Casios said, ¡°And none of the girls here want to talk to me. Can''t seem to stare a handsome powerful warrior in the face and realize you''re missing out on a good thing. Oh well!¡±

    Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.

    Casios, Baela, and the dwarf had all stood up. Raka and Lala stared at each other. Raka let out a sigh, ¡°We have to be back within the hour, guys.¡±

    ¡°You should all join us,¡± Baela said as she forced a pleasant expression on every part of her face but her eyes.

    ¡°No,¡± Davilo said. ¡°We won¡¯t come with you all. If you all want to leave then that is your right.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think you understand-,¡± Baela said.

    ¡°Alright fine, sod off then, old man,¡± Casios said, ¡°We¡¯ve been showing you a good time with free booze and you have been glaring at us all night. Weirdo. Come dwarf, Baela must walk the wine off.¡±

    Dwarf and Casios started to walk, but Baela stayed. Raka, Lala, and Davilo looked at her.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think you understand, ¡®Davi.¡¯¡± Baela said,

    Baela glared at Davilo who stayed seated. He was nonplussed. He grabbed a bottle of wine from the table and poured some in his glass.

    Lala was surprised that Davilo was acting so rational. But she didn¡¯t want to question it. She looked at Raka, ¡°Go with your friends. We¡¯ll meet you back here. Maybe we¡¯ll bid on something.¡±

    Tamas kept strumming the keys as he eyed the big group causing a hullabaloo over yonder near his teammates.

    ¡°I insist you come.¡± Baela said.

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Come on, Baela,¡± Casios said, ¡°He doesn¡¯t want to come. Sorry about this. Elves are normally demure but we got one that is screwy in the head.¡±

    ¡°You can go, Baela,¡± Raka said, ¡°I''ll stay here.¡±

    ¡°Come with us. The reasons are three fold.¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t hear a single fold, dear,¡± Davilo said as he drank his wine, ¡°I have business to attend to here. It is as my daughter said, we will maybe buy something.¡±

    ¡°Reason one, it¡¯s a nice night.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t care.¡±

    ¡°Reason two, we¡¯ll be around less people.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sociable.¡±

    ¡®Reason three, I¡¯ll tell you where your stupid lizard is.¡±

    Raka, Casios, the dwarf, Lala, and most of all Davilo turned to her in shock.

    ¡°You¡¯ll what?¡±

    ¡°That is why you¡¯re here. That¡¯s why you¡¯re wearing such a silly disguise. But I could smell that magic on you from the very beginning. The subtle stench of burning flesh that persists around you woke me up.¡±

    ¡°That is my cologne. It¡¯s called Burning Flesh No. 5. They discontinued No. 4 although it was my favorite.¡±

    ¡°Now will you come with me?¡±

    ¡°Should have led with the goods, my dear. After you.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not telling me. The old man?¡± Casios said, then he started to chuckle.

    Davilo turned to Lala, ¡°The pig has been released, dear. Seems you better come with me before we can reconvene.¡±

    Raka shuffled uncomfortably up and adjusted her buckle, placing some noticeable distance between her and Lala, ¡°We probably should keep it professional since¡­ you know¡­ you¡¯re my enemy and all.¡±

    ¡°Right.¡± Lala said as she got up, clearing her throat awkwardly as they all stepped away

    They walked in the comfort of the pale moonlight, down empty streets of everyone but the auctioneers having tucked themselves away from this sleepy town.

    The dwarf jogged at a more moderate pace, understanding what was about to go down, and needing to process more of the meat in his belly.

    ¡°It wouldn¡¯t be rude to ask to use the loo before we start, would it?¡± the dwarf whispered to Casios.

    Casios kept looking forward, ¡°The floor lord, dwarf. We beat him¡­ we¡¯re in. This could be our big chance. If I could just get my hands on him, I can absorb his powers and we could use them against him. This could be our moment.¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± the dwarf agreed, ¡°But do you think he¡¯d let me use the bathroom first? I¡¯m quite heavy and am poised for a bad fight.¡±

    Casios could not hear him. He kept walking. He turned back and looked at Davilo, who kept walking with a dour expression, ¡°I know that we said we¡¯d wait until we¡¯re farther off from humans, but¡­ let¡¯s face it¡­ this is our best chance, right?¡±

    ¡°Uhm¡­ no. Our best chance would be after I used the restroom. Are you not hearing me?¡±

    ¡°I need to get my hands on him. I just need to touch him and this whole thing is over. I¡¯ll use my boon and then it¡¯ll be fire against fire. Oh¡­ to steal his powers¡­ It makes me dizzy. Or maybe that¡¯s the wine I''ve drunk.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not hearing me. I¡¯m just going to have to be direct and ask,¡± the dwarf then said it so loud that everyone in the group could hear, ¡°As much as I¡¯d like to get on with the conversation, or the fighting or whatever else¡­ I do have to use the loo. That is my right as a combatant and I will hear no complaints.¡±

    ¡°Great distraction dwarf!¡± Casios took the opportunity that his partner had so graciously provided for him. He burst backward, toward Davilo. Davilo gave him a withering look. The speed caused Lala¡¯s and Baela¡¯s long hair as well as the dwarf¡¯s beard to flutter. It¡¯s too late, thought Casios I¡¯ve got him. Casios reached out his hand and headed right for Davilo¡¯s arm. He would absorb all the power in his hand. As Casios reached out, Davilo¡¯s costume had unveiled back to its normal red..

    Davilo¡¯s skin burned hot. So hot that he lit on fire. The heat from the fire emanate quickly into Casios¡¯ hand, causing him to recoil in pain.

    ¡°Ahhh!¡±

    ¡°Insolent little mortals,¡± Davilo said as his cane became a pitchfork again, ¡°You all walk with such little reverence for your own institution. Drinking like nincompoops. Picking fights way above your paygrade. I know all about the Ducervi rankings. Each antler on your clothes represents a tier of skill. Two hummels. Not an antler between them. You four are the lowest of the lows. Barely rejects. You should have some respect next time a floor lord gives you some mercy. Why don¡¯t you go run along to mommy?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t speak of Mother,¡± Raka seethed.

    ¡°And why shouldn¡¯t I?¡± Davilo continued, ¡°Her and I go way back. She knows me and I know her. But you all don¡¯t seem to know me well enough, lest you¡¯d keep your filthy hands to yourselves. I am fire incarnate. I am Hell''s Fury. Perhaps you need a demonstration of my power? You see that clocktower there? Beautiful isn¡¯t it? Twelve hundred years old. A single gnomish family has maintained it for 12 generations. The little gnome girl being trained to take it over prays every night. Do you know what she prays for? To be taken away from all this. To no longer be the keeper of the watch tower. To be free of all her burden, but when she prays, she doesn''t pray to your little gods. She prays to me. And why wouldn¡¯t she? I get things done. SHASHABOOM! Flame blast!¡±

    Davilo shot his fire out of his pitchfork, it exploded the clocktower in the center of the town and the clocktower became engulfed in flames.

    ¡°Lord Davilo!" Lala yelled, ¡°This was meant to be a stealth mission!¡±

    ¡°I suppose it was. And I tried to keep my promise to that little shrimp but there are other matters at hand. Now¡­ dare you still face me?¡±

    The dwarf slipped off during the monologue to do his business in the bushes. He made it back just in time to see the fire slowly consuming the clocktower and looked around, noticing Davilo in his full form.

    ¡°Blimey. I love a good fight, but we can¡¯t fight a floor lord!¡±

    ¡°This is not the mission,¡± Raka said, ¡°We need to sell that little salamander or we''ll return empty handed.¡±

    Casios gripped his hand as he stared at it, unholy fires caused burns like he had never seen, they swirled, and pulsed his purpled skin like some kind of infection, ¡°That¡¯s a lot of power,¡± Casios said with a hungry eye, ¡°We won¡¯t be so lowest of the low if we kill him for it.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t be serious,¡± Raka and Davilo said in unison.

    ¡°Baela,¡± Casios pleaded, ¡°Heal my hand. It¡¯s just a burn!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not just a burn, Casios.¡± Baela said as she flicked her staff, a soft blue wisp made its way out and circled Casios¡¯ hand, it helped but it still hurt. ¡°That¡¯s hellfire. And it will never fully heal.¡±

    ¡°So,¡± Davilo said, ¡°You¡¯re already familiar with my work.¡±

    Baela stuck her staff up, ¡°All too familiar.¡±

    Davilo looked at her resolve and stared down at the ground. He shook his head and then turned back up, there were tears in his eyes. Tears in a devil¡¯s eyes were not made of water. They were like little firecrackers, popping out of the corners of his eyes.

    ¡°Please. I beseech you. Please don¡¯t make me kill you.¡±

 Ch. 26: Below The Auction House

    The auctioneer opened the secret door and dragged Stormbristle¡¯s cage in. The screeching of the metal grate on the stairs raked at Storm¡¯s earbuds. Stormbristle saw that cells from ceiling to floor as well as cages stacked in front. All manners of either sapient nonhumans and enchanteds. Normal animals that, through some stroke of luck or curse or as a result of some genetic anomaly, were made slightly bigger than their normal animal counterparts and were gifted the intelligence of a human*. Most were normal dogs, rats. Normal pets. Rats were the most often to be found enchanted because of their plentiful numbers. But even something as common as a dog and cat sold well to the rich little children of merchants without any empathy.

    ¡°We ain¡¯t got space for a cage that big, sir,¡± Said the portly guard sitting behind a desk.

    ¡°Open the air cage. And make sure he doesn¡¯t run off.¡±

    ¡°Pleasure.¡± Said the guard as he got up, he grabbed a black stick with a white tip from his belt and took it out.

    The auctioneer opened the cage door as the guard unlocked the cell door. Stormbristle walked but not fast enough. The guard took his wonner and zapped Stormbristle with it, ¡°I''m going! I¡¯m going! No need to use that infernal thing. I¡¯m doing what you want!¡±

    He entered the cell. The auctioneer and the guard walked back to the guard¡¯s desk. The guard grabbed a clipboard with a paper on it as the auctioneer said ¡°Mark it down, enchanted storm boar. Start the bidding at ten thousand crown.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re worth a heck of a lot, Storm.¡±

    Storm looked up and saw Sal leaning against the bars, ¡°Sal! Sal! It¡¯s so good to see you, my boy!¡±

    Sal waved his hand, ¡°Hey,¡± Sal reached his hand out, Stormbristle licked his hand and Sal laughed at the ticklish feeling, ¡°Those Ducervi couldn¡¯t sell me anywhere. They tried an apothecary, a butcher¡¯s shop. Eventually they realized that no self-respecting institution would take me so they went to the one with the least respect for anybody. They had heard about this secret auction that went on under the auction house.¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Stormbristle said, ¡°We figured as much. They¡¯re probably upstairs right now, hopefully our team is avoiding their detection.¡±

    ¡°This whole thing is going to start in about an hour. Then we get sold off. So tell me you¡¯re here to break me out.¡±

    Stormbristle looked around, ¡°Uh. So to speak. We have come to break you out, but I wasn¡¯t supposed to be down here. But¡­¡±

    Stormbristle let his words trail off. The auctioneer walked away and slammed the door behind him. The guard approached the cage. He crouched on his knees and stared right at Stormbristle, ¡°You didn¡¯t come down here to give me no trouble, did you?¡±

    Stormbristle shook his head.

    ¡°No scheming with this one. Lest you want some of my stick¡­¡± The guard stuck up weapon. It was a one-trick wand, known as a wonner. A helpful little tool for nonmagics to use a single spell. He clicked the edge and a little electrical shock came out the other side. His smile showcased his ill-kept teeth and his laugh was laced with poor intentions. He knocked his wonner on the side of the jail cell.

    ¡°I assure you I-aHHH!¡± Stormbristle cried out in pain. The guard had clicked the end of his wonner and a shock jolted Stormbristle into agony. His clouds became dark and swirled.

    ¡°And more of that as well as all you lot! If I hear any whining! I¡¯m off to get me sandwich. Tuna and ham. AND cheese. I better not hear a peep. I¡¯ll be back in thirty seconds.¡± The guard opened the door and sped off to get the sandwich his wife packed him from his locker.

    Stormbristle turned to Sal, ¡°Have you not tried to escape?¡±

    Sal set his hands on fire and rested them on the bars. He held for as long as he could but when his hands extinguished, the bars were not red and still cold to the touch.

    ¡°Fire resistant. Can¡¯t get anything done with these. I got other fire types in my cage as well.¡± He moved and Storm saw the other creatures in his cell. All fire-based. Stormbristle looked at the other people in his cage. He was set against a few birds, including a few flying snakes and a jellyfish that floated around in the corner. The cells were split up by the creature¡¯s predominant element, with all the nonelemental animals in the cages. The water creatures were placed on the cells on the opposite side, presumably not to seriously injure the fire creatures. He looked up and saw that there was netting to keep the wind creatures grounded.¡°What do we do?¡±

    Stolen novel; please report.

    Sal shrugged his shoulders,then peeled himself from the bars and slid into the metal slat that acted as a bed, ¡°Get sold I guess.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t say that.¡±

    Sal shook his head, ¡°It was fun being part of the ride with you, buddy.¡±

    ¡°Sal, we¡¯ll get out¡­ Davilo will make sure of it.¡±

    Sal opened his eyes, ¡°Davilo? Lord Davilo? He¡¯s here?¡±

    ¡°Keep your voice down. Yes, he¡¯s come to save you. He insisted. But as we were instructed by Kip, this mission must remain one of stealth.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you think that¡¯s a little bit beyond the pale now?¡± Sal asked.

    ¡°Unfortunate, but that may be so.¡±

    Cat in the cage in front of him turned around and said, ¡°If you guys are talking about a breakout, I want in.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, me too!¡± Piped up a mouse.

    ¡°And me.¡± Said another mouse.

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid¡­¡± Stormbristle looked around, ¡°I¡¯m afraid that¡¯s not our directive.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m staying too then.¡± Said Sal.

    ¡°Wh-what?¡± Sal shook his head, ¡°If they stay, I stay.¡±

    Storm took a deep breath, ¡°But we must.¡±

    ¡°These people deserve to be free as much as me. Let¡¯s use our power for some good.¡±

    ¡°He''s making a lot of sense!¡± Peeped up one of the dogs.

    A cute green orb with two eyes and a large dandelion puff looked at Sal in his jail cell, ¡°You¡¯re really not going to help us Mr. Storm?¡±

    ¡°Uh,¡± Storm looked around. He saw everyone in every cage looking at him. He saw Sal who had faced away from Storm on his cot. Storm could feel a migraine coming on but he relented, ¡°We¡­ will help.¡±

    The entire menagerie huzzahed and cheered.

    ¡°So,¡± What¡¯s the plan?¡± Sal asked.

    The guard ran back in with his turkey and ham and cheese sandwich. His wonner still hung outside of his back pocket, ¡°I know I heard the lot of you make noise. I better not hear no plotting.¡±

    ¡°No plotting whatsoever, chump.¡± Said one of the mice.

    ¡°And no talkin¡¯!¡± The guard said.

    ¡°Oh yeah?¡± The rat interjected, and what are you going to do if we do? One shot of that thing and I¡¯m dead! That gonna come out of your paycheck?¡±

    The guard slammed the wonner like a batton on the cage with all the rational rodents. They jittered but they did not stop talking.

    ¡°No seriously, You use that wonner on me, and I¡¯m toast, right? You get that? Or are you too stupid?¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s a hell of a lot of ways to deal with you than just a spell. Believe you me,¡± The guard picked up the cage and shook it, staring at the cluster of rats as they jostled inside their tiny confinement.

    Stormbristle and Sal locked eyes and nodded to each other. Sal lit himself on fire, ¡°You better stop picking on those guys!¡± Sal yelled. The guard dropped the cage on the ground and turned around to look at Sal.

    The guard revealed a rotted smile, ¡°You want to be brave and then you get to play the big lizard, all covered in fire? Well, guess what, max capacity probably works on you!¡±

    As the guard approached the fire cell, a turtle stepped in his way. The turtle was bright red with a shell that oozed steam from being so hot.

    ¡°Better stand out of the way!¡±

    The turtle said, ¡°We Infurtles are made from the magma themselves, who dried and made us alive. You mess with him, you¡¯ll mess with us!¡±

    Then a knee high gray creature with a long nose and pointy features, cracked his knuckles and said, ¡°Yeah! We¡¯ll show you what for!¡±

    All three of them created heat with their body however they could. Sal by lighting himself on fire, the infurtle by creating steam, and the mephyt by lighting fires on his hands and tossing them in the air.

    The guard started to laugh at the sorry bunch of flame critters locked in the fire resistant cell. He pointed his wand at Sal and clicked the button. A jolt of the Lightning Bold spell shot out of the tip and attacked Sal. He cried out in pain and his fire turned off. Sal took a look at Storm, who shook his head. Sal took two deep breaths in and turned himself back on.

    ¡°Flame on!¡± Then he picked himself back off his knees and told the guard, ¡°Think you missed me.¡±

    Slowly the animals all started to join in, teasing the guard. Making him feel small and pathetic and overloading his senses with a series of noises. The guard was sweating profusely, hungry because he had not eaten his tuna and ham and cheese. His madness cranked up by the sweltering heat of the fire cell giving it their all.

    ¡°QUIIEEEEET!¡± The guard screamed. The fire monsters stopped. The enchanteds and sapiens ceased their racket. The guard undid his collar and took off his cap, ¡°Blasted, confarnit, rotten animals. Going to give me a bleedin¡¯ heart attack.¡±

    ¡°Funny.¡± Storm said, ¡°They¡¯d be doing my job.¡±

    The guard turned to look at where the gruff noise was coming from. He could not find anyone.

    ¡°Who said that?¡±

    ¡°Down here, my boy.¡±

    Stormbristle stood, outside of his jail cell. Much¡­ much¡­ smaller than normal. Storm was small enough to slip through the cracks of the gaps of the bars due to the extreme heat of the three fire monsters. The guard was confused but let out a laugh, ¡°You think you can take me?¡±

    Just then, a frog in a suit spewed water onto Stormbristle. He opened up his cloudy exterior and let his body drink in the water, reappearing at full size.

    ¡°Now I am.¡±

 Ch 27: I Beseech You

    The Ducervi troupe stared at Davilo in shock. His earnest plea caught them off guard. It was Baela who stepped in front of her comrades and said, ¡°Let¡¯s give up! He¡¯s too strong and there¡¯s not enough reason to fight him.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Casios asked, ¡°What the bloody deuce, Baela, you were the one that was hot and bothered about killing him.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not me.¡± Said Baela.

    ¡°What?¡± Casios turned to Baela.

    The Baela that stood in front of them stuck her arms up, waving them in the air, ¡°I know, but let¡¯s just turn around and go back to the auction house.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not me, idiots.¡± Baela, stepped forward and pointed her staff. The wind blew the hair out of the other Baela¡¯s face, revealing the bent scar on her right cheek.

    Lala reverted to her normal changeling form, ¡°If you don''t leave right now, you¡¯re going to see the full weight of the fire lord.¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t look like he wants to fight,¡± Raka said as she looked at Lord Davilo, ¡°Davilo?¡±

    Davilo pleaded to all of them, ¡°I have caused enough harm. I merely wish to protect my subjects. Allow me to retrieve Sal and be on my way. There is no need for violence.¡±

    The dwarf suppressed a laugh. Casios didn¡¯t. ¡°The Fire Lord. The Great Destroyer. Hell¡¯s Fury. The Fiery Death. The Eternal Flame. B-begging?¡± Casios asked, ¡°Am I hearing this correctly? He¡¯s asking us not to fight him.¡±

    Baela gave a look of absolute disgust at Davlio, ¡°Pick up your pitch fork and fight us, Davilo.¡± She pointed her staff. The end glowed, ready to cast a spell at a moment''s notice.

    ¡°I urge you all,¡± Davilo said, ¡°I do not want to fight anyone. It is my sole intent to respect the Dark Lord¡¯s wishes and retrieve my subject without any harm.¡±

    ¡°Ha! The kobold? The little scrub who could have died?! That¡¯s the person the great Davio is taking orders from?¡± Casios threw his head back, ¡°I¡¯m starting to think you¡¯ve lost your touch. Is that what the clocktower was for? A slight demonstration to scare us into submission?¡±

    Davilo shook his head, Lala stuck her hands up and put herself between the four heroes and Davilo, ¡°Pleaase! We are begging not to fight! We just want to make sure our friend is back! You¡¯re all mercenaries, correct? This is a financial issue! We can make some sort of agreement, can¡¯t we?¡±

    Lala looked back at Davilo, ¡°There must be some item or weapon or something you¡¯ve collected that will make these four rich beyond their wildest hopes?¡±

    ¡°That sounds amazing,¡± Raka said, ¡°Then we can take the salamander out of the auction, give it to them and we can take something back to Mother.¡±

    Baela stepped forward, undeterred, Casios did too, Then, to Raka¡¯s surprise, even the dwarf did.

    ¡°Thing is, Raka,¡± The dwarf said, ¡°There¡¯s nothing that will make the troupe more impressed with us than finishing off a devil. We could take back some magic item and take our share, but he must be pretty weak if he doesn¡¯t want to fight us.¡±

    ¡°Think with your head, idiot!¡± Raka said, ¡°He doesn¡¯t want to fight us for our sake, not his.¡±

    ¡°I want to touch him to be sure. I need to know what his power feels like.¡±

    ¡°Glory. Spoils. You think I joined Ducervi for all that?¡± Baela asked as she kept stepping forward, her staff glowing a brighter blue, ¡°I put myself in front of the strongest people so that I can get stronger too. You can have your stinkin¡¯ salamander meat! You can have your money! The reason I joined the Ducervi is standing right in front of me!¡±

    Then she pointed her staff right at Davilo.

    ¡°I beseech you.¡± Davilo said.

    ¡°I don¡¯t care.¡± Baela said, ¡°Frios II.¡± A shock of frost came out of the staff. It was such an intense beam that it caused the surrounding wind to become frigid as well. Lala covered her face with her hands but it went right past her.

    ¡°Don¡¯t!¡± Lala said, ¡°Please!¡±

    This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    The frost covered up Davilo¡¯s left side with ice Instead of the normal dry heat that surrounded Davilo¡¯s presence, the air rapidly cooled, causing the ambient moisture to quickly condensate, creating an unintended effect of mist all around Davilo.

    ¡°NOW!!¡± Baela commanded.

    ¡°Now what?!¡± Dwarf asked, ¡°We didn¡¯t come up with a bloody plan!¡±

    ¡°NOWWW!¡± Baela screamed again. The dwarf ran toward Davilo with his axe in his hand. He lifted it up and swung at Davilo. The blade entered his neck. Beneath Davilo¡¯s skin¡­ there was nothing but fire.

    ¡°Please.¡± Davilo said again.

    ¡°RAKA!¡± the dwarf cried out.

    ¡°Gods dammit, you three!¡± Raka took out her two hand axes and chucked them at Davilo. One entered his chest and the other one entered his shoulder blade.

    ¡°I¡¯m begging you all.¡±

    Lala screamed in fear, covering her head for protection. She turned back to Davilo. He shook his head and mouthed the words ¡®run.¡¯ With tears in her eyes, Lala begged for them to stop but they would not listen. Her final result was to turn and run as far away as possible.

    ¡°Your teammates are abandoning you,¡± Baela said, ¡°You¡¯ve failed everyone, Davilo. You¡¯ve failed her and you failed your little salamander.¡±

    Davilo closed his eyes and tried to breathe. His breath was short. His pulse was quickened. He was trapped. These people would not desist. There was only one pathway left. Retaliation.

    Casios jetted toward them, ¡°I want to play!¡±

    ¡°Not yet! Everyone back away!¡± Baela screamed.

    The dwarf pulled his axe out before he and Raka backed away.

    ¡°Ice blast.¡± One after another, an icicle shot through her staff. They were sharpened to a deadly point and all shot out at the speed of an over-drawn arrow. One landed in the same hole in his chest as the handaxe, breaking it into little pieces, the other landed deep in his belly, coming out the other side.

    ¡°My axes!¡± Raka yelled.

    ¡°Friostrom¡± Instead of a single beam of frost, an entire wave erupted from her staff. It was like a coming tide of wicked snow, leaving little ice shards in its wake. Davilo looked up at the wave as it slowly overtook them. His eyes closed as they did. The spell completely enveloped him in ice.

    ¡°I can¡¯t touch him now!¡± Casios said, ¡°Baela! You¡¯re no fun!¡±

    ¡°This isn¡¯t a game, Cas!¡± Baela said, ¡°Do you know what would have happened if you got your hands on him? The power would be too intense for you anyway.¡±

    ¡°Oh, now. I really don¡¯t like what you¡¯re implying.¡± Casios said as he took out his rapier and bounded toward the slab of ice.

    ¡°Stop him!¡± Baela cried out. The dwarf and Raka exchanged confused glances. Casios was two quick for either of them. They stuck their hands out but he danced between them, tangling them in figurative knots until they bumped into each other. He leapt up and placed himself behind Davilo, his rapier tucking itself right into Davilo¡¯s lower back and coming out of his chest, ¡°Now, as for that power,¡± Casios said. He unsheathed his rapier from Davilo¡¯s body and proceeded to slash the back to and fro, creating enough back to give the swordsman enough range to touch the devil¡¯s back.

    ¡°Casios!¡± Baela yelled, staring daggers at him, ¡°STOP!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve got your whims, I¡¯ve got mine,¡± Said Casios.

    Baela stuck up her staff and pointed it right at Davilo, ¡°You¡¯ve got to get out of there, I¡¯m going to use the strongest ice spell I have in my arsenal! Once I do this, I¡¯ll be completely drained!¡±

    Just let me touch him!¡± Casios said, ¡°Think of what that power must¡­ feel like. A floor lord!¡±

    His last slice punctured the ice. Casios went to place his hand on Davilo but a force stopped him.

    It was red, thick and leathery and had wrapped around Casios¡¯ wrist. The end was in the shape of a spade. Casios looked at the strange red whip and followed it all the way to Davilo¡¯s rump. It was the devil¡¯s tail. It yanked so hard downward that Casios fell and he lost grip on his rapier.

    Lala¡¯s tears streaked her cheeks as she ran through the cold night air. She changed her form again. A small child that had boundless energy when they played tag. Also with red hair and blue eyes. When she took on a new form, she took on a derivative of their attributes. She was able to burst forward at a slightly higher speed.

    Lala remembered what Davilo told them all of them before they entered Milik. They had all been sitting around, discussing potential plans, Stormbristle once again ringing the old bell that this was a stealth mission and Davilo was to be on his best behavior. Davilo had listened, out of character in his patience, his arms resting on his pitchfork.

    ¡°So¡­ to conclude, we shall be on our best behavior. Is that clear?¡±

    ¡°Sure, man,¡± Said Tamas, ¡°Not sure why that had to be a whole rigamarole.¡±

    Lala gave Storm a sympathetic look as he sighed, ¡°And you, Lord Davilo?¡±

    ¡°To the best of my abilities.¡±

    Another deep breath from Storm.

    ¡°To the best of my abilities¡­ but I will say this¡­ Although subtlety eludes me¡­. I want as little injury as you.¡±

    Storm and Lala both perked up, surprised at this confession. ¡°Sir,¡± Lala said, ¡°You don¡¯t want anyone getting hurt?¡±

    Davilo shook his head, ¡°I did not expect to confess such a vulnerable corner of my soul¡­ but as we are bandmates¡­ I must confide in you all.¡±

    As so he did. Davilo explained exactly how he got into the Dark Lord¡¯s Domain. The faces of Storm, Lala, and even Tamas when he stopped picking his belly button to listen were ones of shock and horror and unease. But it was the last thing he said that Lala remembered while running. It was a glaring warning.

    ¡°My presence¡­ ignites people. My impression on this kingdom is, no doubt, indelible,¡± He gave a wry chuckle, ¡°My sins catch up to me. If it shall be that my identity is revealed¡­ if it shall be that a fight breaks out¡­ and I must be the one that does the fighting¡­ for the sake of your lives please¡­ run. Run as far away as you can. Because¡­ My greatest shame is the idiom that was created in my infamy. The adage humans started saying was a direct result of my rampage. Before me, there was no such expression as ''All hell broke loose.¡¯¡±

 Ch. 28: Pig vs Monkey

    The guard had his wonner raised at Stormbristle. The animals all watched with lively anticipation.

    ¡°You gonna do me in, pig?¡±

    Stormbristle thought of the mission. He thought of Kip. He thought of Sal and all the enchanteds that were counting on him. The guard pointed the wonner at Stormbristle and clicked.

    Stormbristle kicked his right foot up, and barrelled up into the air. The guard pointed his wonner at the buoyant pig and clicked. And clicked. And clicked again. Each time hitting the place the Stormbristle was but not where he would be. Storm spun around the room as the guard continued, until he clicked the wonner and nothing came out. Storm¡¯s feet touched the wall and he kicked upward.

    ¡°Zip Zap Slop!¡±

    He positioned his body toward the guard, stuck his hind legs out and conjured lightning from his legs, charging forward at a heightened speed and ramming the guard directly in the stomach. The guard lost his breath as well as some blood and phlegm.

    The animals cheered in satisfaction. Storm picked up the key with his cloud puff and walked it over to Sal¡¯s cage.

    ¡°Let¡¯s get out of there.¡±

    Sal smirked. He worked his way through all of the cages, starting with the fire beasts first, then the wind beasts, then the water beasts. Then they all helped open up cages for the enchanteds, checking on the rats that were tossed by the guard to make sure they were okay.

    The menacing menagerie stormed out of the secret room. The guards¡¯ mouths fell open as they saw the secret captives pour out into the back halls of the auction house. One of the guards blew a whistle that alerted the other guards of the escape. Sal inhaled, his throat reddening and he burst out a flame ball that smacked the guard with the whistle square in the chest. The guard fell on his back. He stamped his chest as the flames ate up his shirt.

    A troop of guards made their way to the entrance, where they placed themselves between the entrance and the animals. The fiery turtle walked up and squeezed something internally. The top cap on his shell rattled and the noise of a hot kettle rang out as steam overtook the room. The guards stuck up their batons and swung wildly, unable to see in the dense fog.

    The frog with a suit jumped up and kicked the guard in the face, then used his tongue to whip the other guard. The floating ball shot out her spores, causing a sneezing fit from the guards. Then, the storm of dogs and cats and rats attacked all of them. Biting and clawing and working them as the humans threw fits of coughing, sneezing and could not see as clearly as the nocturnal animals. The wave of enchanteds left the auction hall into the orange night, but just as Stormbristle was about to go out, Sal stopped him.

    Stormbristle turned around, ¡°We have to get all the animals, Storm. Not just the ones who can fend for themselves.¡±

    Stormbristle harrumph but told Sal that they were already this far. The two raced to behind the auction hall curtain. Most of the animals had yet to be sold. Sal used the skeleton key to start opening cages and letting the animals out.

    One by one they let out a howling rabbit here, or a striped giraffe there. Each one grateful in its own limited capacity. They knew what escape meant for them. They burst out with speed.

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    ¡°Doing something dastard?¡± The voice caused Stormbristle to turn behind him. It was Keesee, the pink horned monkey.

    ¡°We¡¯re getting everyone out,¡± Storm said, ¡°You can come if you¡¯d like.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯s an idiot. Ain¡¯t you?¡± The monkey said, ¡°You¡¯s coming for me bag.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Storm asked, ¡°Your bag?! The auctioneer lets you have some of the profits?!¡±

    ¡°You stupid pig,¡± Said the monkey, ¡°The auctioneer works for me! I own the auction hall! And you¡¯re messing with my bag!¡±

    ¡°Easy as,¡± Mocked Stormbristle.

    The monkey leapt off the tower of cages, howled and landed on Stormbristle, scratching at his face. Storm caused a surge of electricity to circulate through his body, stinging the monkey. Keesee fell off Storm, rolling on his back. He reached out and kicked Stormbristle in the leg, felling him. The monkey reached out and scratched him in the face with the claws on his foot.

    ¡°You can join us!¡± Stormbristle said, ¡°There is a life outside of slave-trading. There is a life outside of evil! You don¡¯t have to live in this world that makes you do this.¡±

    ¡°I like living in this world,¡± the monkey jumped on Storm¡¯s face and pulled Storm¡¯s ears. Storm tried to react but the quickness with which the monkey was operating discombobulated Storm, ¡°I¡¯m really good at it! Ahh!¡±

    Sal had shot a ball of fire at the monkey''s back, knocking him off Storm. Storm pushed up and floated in the sky, kicking around and bobbing, he pivoted his body so that his head and tusks pointed right at Keesee. Storm charged the monkey, but he jumped up and Storm crashed into a mountain of empty cages. The monkey gripped a bird cage hanging from the ceiling and escaped upward, dodging Sal¡¯s fire blasts.

    ¡°I¡¯ve got this guy!¡± Sal ran up the wall, getting level with the monkey and leaping after him. Keesee had already leapt to the next bird cage. Sal swung awkwardly from the birdcage trying to rebalance himself.

    The hog turned toward the birdcage that the Keesee was perched on. ¡°Boar Blast!¡± He sent a streak of lighting to connect with the cage.

    The monkey shrieked as the bolt shocked him and he fell to the ground. Storm did not hesitate; While the monkey was immobilized, Storm kicked himself into the air, turned and yelled, ¡°Zip Zap Slop!¡± This time, Keesee did not escape. Stormbristle rammed his entire body into the monkey, driving the critter into the floorboards. The monkey, weakened, reached for something.

    ¡°You may have strength, but I got something you don¡¯t have,¡± The monkey said.

    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± Storm asked as he dug his tusks further into the pink furry body.

    ¡°Opposable thumbs.¡± Then the monkey took a butterfly knife and stabbed Stormbristle in the eye. A storm boar¡¯s blood is gaseous. A red mist exited Stormbristle¡¯s upper eyebrow.

    ¡°Outa the way, Storm! Let me handle this punk¡±

    Storm backed up and Sal hit Keesee with a fire ball. The blast sent the monkey rolling backward. The monkey jumped up and hid in a chest, closing the chest door on himself.

    ¡°Let¡¯s get him!¡± Sal asked.

    ¡°No,¡± Storm said, ¡°Leave him be.¡±

    ¡°If we leave him, he¡¯ll let more people suffer. We take him in as a prisoner,¡± Sal said.

    The pig shook his head, the . He used a puff of cloud from his main body to apply pressure on his body onto the eyebrow cut, ¡°We take an enchanted beast as a prisoner, we¡¯re not better than he is.¡±

    Sal shook his head, ¡°Come on, Storm. He¡¯ll get up to his old tricks if we leave him alone.¡±

    Storm sighed and said, ¡°Fine. We¡¯ll take him in and decide what to do with him via tribunal. Let¡¯s take the chest with us, ¡°Did you hear that, monkey? You¡¯re going to get a fairer trail than you¡¯ve given the other animals you¡¯ve sold.¡±

    Stormbristle wrapped his tail around the chest¡¯s handle, Sal grabbed the other end. Sal stepped forward and was almost immediately struck off balance.

    The false bottom of the trunk immediately gave out. The monkey squeaked and rolled out, leaping up from the cages into a small air duct.

    ¡°Hey!¡± Sal dropped the trunk and ran up the wall, peering into the air duct.

    ¡°Leave him,¡± Storm said, ¡°Retribution is not the task at hand.¡±

    Sal slammed his slimy fist against the wall, and with a glare dropped downward. Storm and Sal both left the auction house, guards defeated, to join the other enchanted animals on their escape into the burning night ahead.

 Ch. 29 Davilos Rage

    When Davilo¡¯s anger had finally settled, he scanned the ruin he¡¯d caused. Blackened fields as far as the eye could see. He had razed a country to the ground off the whims of his elevated heart rate. When his anger settled, when he looked at what he¡¯d done, the anger came back and turned inward. It dripped from his throat, into his belly where it fermented and bubbled into something even more self-serving than anger. Shame. In that moment, it became crystal clear that the world would be better with one less devil in it.

    Davilo stood in front of a vast lake that had somehow survived the decimation he¡¯d caused and decided to cease Hell¡¯s Fury once and for all.

    There was a small snag. Davilo closed his eyes and walked into the lake, but for as far as he walked he could not feel the water touch his toes. He looked down, he saw that his feet were completely dry. He had walked into a knee high depth of the lake but the water refused to go near him, evaporating by his ambient heat. He took a step back out to the beach again and ran toward the lake, diving in to try to get to the water before he could burn it off. He dove headfirst into pebbles, gravel entering his mouth. He spit it out, feeling defeated at his lack of options.

    ¡°Comply lake!¡± Davilo said, ¡°Comply or I shall cast a burning ball so hot I¡­ Oh forget it. I burn too bright. Of course my problem is that I¡¯m too devilish for even death to take me.¡±

    ¡°And why would you like Death to take you, old friend?¡± Said a cavernous voice behind him. Davilo turned around. A hooded figure sat in a lawn chair among the ruin, sipping from a glass with a little umbrella in it. The glass had all manner of fruits inside it.

    ¡°Could this trickery be your doing?¡±

    The hooded figure waved Davilo¡¯s conception away with his hand, ¡°I could not make you any hotter than you have made yourself, Davilo. Please, pull up a chair, old friend.¡±

    Davilo walked up, and suddenly there was a chair next to him. Made of treated leather, able to withstand the heat of Davilo¡¯s fiery behind, ¡°I suppose you want to talk feelings.¡±

    ¡°We could just drink some daiquiris, Davilo.¡± The hooded figure said, ¡°I see no reason why we need to go on about our feelings.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve been collecting people,¡± Davilo said. The hooded man shrugged his shoulders and offered Davilo a daiquiri.

    ¡°Sit. If you¡¯d like to stew, I¡¯ll stew with you.¡±

    Davilo sat down, ¡°There is something you could do for me, old friend.¡±

    ¡°I know what you¡¯re going to ask me. And it makes me sick to what¡¯s left of my stomach that you would.¡±

    Davilo watched as the hooded figure drank from his daiquiri, the liquid made its way through the figure¡¯s internal organs, and leaked out from under the hood¡¯s robes.

    Davilo said, ¡°But will you do it? If we are friends as you say, would you do me this kindness?¡±

    ¡°I will not take your life, Davilo.¡±

    ¡°Then you are no friend of mine.¡± Davilo said.

    ¡°Aren¡¯t you tired of taking lives?¡± The hooded figure asked.

    ¡°Aren¡¯t you?¡± Davilo quipped.

    ¡°I am.¡± The hooded figure said, ¡°I am no longer angry. I¡¯m tired. Tired of killing and tired of being angry. I imagine you¡¯re the same.¡±

    Davilo shook his head, ¡°You don¡¯t know the half of it.¡±

    The hooded figure looked behind him, ¡°You¡¯re right. I only walked up from the north side. I have yet to see the other half.¡±

    ¡°Funny,¡± Davilo said joylessly, ¡°Help me. Cease my tiredness.¡±

    The hooded figure shook his head, ¡°You are tired of the choices you¡¯ve made. And the person those choices have burdened you to be.¡±

    ¡°I know all this.¡±

    ¡°So make new choices. Become a different person; Instead of taking one more life, foster some. Become someone that builds something instead of destroys it.¡±

    Davilo sipped his daiquiri, ¡°The daiquiri was named after a town. An Ulmun engineer was establishing a mine near the Purple River. Dropped everything. Became a bartender instead. I¡¯ve been to the town.¡± Davilo looked down at the grape in the drink, ¡°The original doesn¡¯t use fruit in it. Just a wedge of lime on the rim.¡±

    The hooded figure reached over and clinked his glass with Davilo¡¯s. And they both took a long sip, ¡°It¡¯s a new version. One of my own creations. So¡­ Can I count you in?¡±

    Davilo noticed that he was able to drink the liquid in full. Maybe it was talking to an old friend. Maybe it was the chair. But likely, it was the prospect of thinking about something new that calmed him. But Davilo wondered about the foolishness of the dream.

    ¡°How will the kingdoms react when they find out two of the five Calamities are working together?¡±

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    The figure pulled back enough just for Davilo to see a smile and a glint in his eye, ¡°Two?¡±

    Davilo¡¯s new aim was to protect. He would stay on his floor and if there was an invader, he would defend. He recruited displaced peoples from across the way. Firefolk, or earthfolk, or interesting characters that would do well on the firelord¡¯s floor. Even still, he would place himself at a distance from the intruders, only fighting them when they were worthy of Davilo¡¯s might. Davilo was a devil. Devils kept their promises. Even ones they made to themselves. Never attack first. Use your powers to protect those around you.

    Even though the Ducervi had done everything in their power to trap him, to wound him, to subjugate him for their own personal gain, and all he could think of was the mercy he should show them. But his mind was pulled to Sal. They were not going to pull him out of the auction house. They were drunk on the prospect of defeating Davilo. Davilo let out a wry laugh. It was his presence that had torched the mission after all. How rotten he was at subtlety. Davilo should have listened to Kip. He would need to fight back and save Sal. He would need to, just this once, break his deal with himself.

    Casios tried to pull up but the tail had too great a hold on him.

    ¡°A little help here!¡± Casios called to the dwarf and Raka.

    ¡°My axes are inside of him!¡± Said Raka.

    ¡°I warned you all.¡± Davilo looked completely frozen behind the mountain of ice that coated his front half.

    ¡°You let him out, you idiots.¡± Baela said, ¡°Step away from Casios. He¡¯s completely done for.¡±

    Davilo said, ¡°You want my power? You want to be allowed to touch me? Fine. But make a deal with me,¡± Davilo said through the ice to Casios, ¡°I¡¯ll let you touch me and absorb my power as long as you pray to your maker first, and thank him for the opportunity to experience life one last time.¡±

    Baela looked around. He was covered in ice but a pillar of steam above the ice block. He was melting it, and quickly. His eyes lit on fire and glowing orange, he cocked his head to Casios, waiting for his answer.

    ¡°What about Sal? I¡¯ll get you the lizard if you lend me your power.¡±

    ¡°Defeat your teammates and I shall let you have my power. Afterwards.¡±

    Casio¡¯s head swiveled between looking up at Davilo and his teammates.

    ¡°Don¡¯t tell me you¡¯re actually considering it!¡± Said Raka.

    ¡°Lend it to me now,¡± Casios said, ¡°Lend it to me now and I shall.¡±

    The ice had created a hole big enough for Davilo to escape. His whole body was misting as he shook his head, ¡°You are too weak for such a deal,¡± he said, ¡°I rescind my offer.¡±

    ¡°No wait!¡± Casios said. Then he felt a slap on his face, the tail had released him from his binds and slapped him across the cheek. Blood spurted out of his mouth and he fell to the ground. ¡°Weak,¡± Casios muttered angrily.

    As Casios looked up, he felt abject fear. The being standing in front of him was a devil. Covered in fire, with such ferocity that Davilo could have melted a mountain with eyes caps alone. He held up his pitchfork, completely covered in fire, staring right down at him. The dwarf came up on him and slammed his knife into Davilo. Davilo grabbed the dwarf¡¯s armor.

    ¡°Fire resistan¨CahhH!¡± Davilo melted the metal at his touch. The molten wax dripped on the dwarf as the precious magic steel disintegrated. He pushed the dwarf away. Far away. He launched him thirty feet back and the dwarf skipped along the city¡¯s stone road, rolling until his body collided with a fountain.

    He looked at Raka who took out two smaller hand axes, she turned to Baela, ¡°Run.¡±

    Baela stuck up her staff again. The end was shaking. She called out to Davilo, ¡°I was given a mission from the gods when your fires burned my country down, Devil. It was simple. Survive, and be granted the will to live. That¡¯s why my boon is called ¡®Magical Rage,¡¯ The angrier I get, the stronger my magic becomes.¡±

    ¡°Then perhaps you should thank me,¡± Davilo said wryly.

    ¡°You son of a-¡± Baela cast three ice icicles and they shot off like bullets. Davilo waved his hands, he created walls of fires in front of them, one, two, three, four, each one weakening until they were reduced to harmless mist.

    Davilo stuck up his hand and a trail of fire on the ground started from the edges of his fingertips and raced in the direction he was pointing. Right toward Baela.

    ¡°Say when,¡± Davilo said, his voice rattling from the dry air.

    The stretch of fire continued. Baela tried to run away from it. She zig-zagged out of the way, and behind buildings but every way she went, Davilo would merely wave his hand and the wall would follow, exploring the new direction. It hit Baela square in the back and she screamed as she dropped to the ground.

    ¡°Son of a bitch.¡± Raka said, ¡°I said we should have stayed. I¡­ said we shouldn¡¯t have gone into that stupid floor. She ran over to a well and started pulling on the rope attached.

    ¡°Have I dealt with everyone?¡± Davilo said, ¡°Children should be left to play with toys. I am not a toy.¡±

    Once Raka had a bucket full of the water, she dipped her fists in them, held them there and pulled them out.

    ¡°Out of weapons, are we not?¡± Davilo asked.

    ¡°Never really,¡± Raka said as she approached him, her dukes up.

    ¡°You can¡¯t be serious.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m afraid I am.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t leave your team to die. Give me the same chance.¡±

    She took steps forward, waiting for him to activate some kind of fire or something around him. Instead, he waved both hands and created a path in the fire specifically for her.

    ¡°If we must,¡± He said.

    She was nervous. She kept her hands up the whole time as he walked toward them. She bounced on the balls of her feet, keeping herself agile. Raka started her career as a pugilist when she was nine after all. She walked toward the devil, who had a look of woe on his face.

    He let her get as close as she could. She reached out to punch him, he dodged. But he didn¡¯t counter strike.

    ¡°Try again.¡± Said the devil. She feigned a punch this time. Half throwing one hand and fully committing to the other. He dodged this too, merely placing his finger on her fist and pushing it back. Raka looked at her fist. It was completely burned.

    Raka shook her hand and held her fists up again. ¡°I¡¯ll keep going until I knock you down.¡±

    Davilo looked at her with such displeasure she¡¯d think he was trying to do an impression of her father. Just then, a horde of enchanted animals ran forth. And in the back, riding Stormbristle was Sal.

    ¡°Sal?¡± Said the devil, when he was distracted, she threw a punch that clocked him right in his face. She had actually landed a blow on him. He looked up at her and suddenly, he was less keen on playing nice.

    ¡°Uh oh.¡± His fire consumed his devilish body again. The orc turned around to look for a way out but the path he had cleared for her was gone. She was surrounded in a small circle by a much larger fire. Whoops. Raka realized she could not even grab the last remaining axe she had stuck in him, as he¡¯d melted that and let it drop to the ground as a metal puddle. A spire of fire erupted from the top of him, his orange eyes were locked in on her. But suddenly, all that stopped. He looked down and saw the tip of a rapier pierced through his heart. Casios stood up from behind him.

    ¡°Too weak. Too weak. I¡¯ll show you who¡¯s too weak.¡± And Casios touched Davilo¡¯s back with his palm, absorbing his power.

    Davilo looked at Raka and said, ¡°Run.¡±

 Ch. 30: The Bunny Wall

    Kip grabbed a poster that was in his satchel and lifted it above his head. Zeke took a nail in his satchel, placed it on top of the poster and pushed it all the way into the tree with his finger. The poster hung up neatly on the tree. It said:

    Dork Lard Alert!

    The Dark Lord is looking for new recruits.

    Looking for a job? Looking for protection?

    Join the Dark Lord¡¯s army today!

    ¡°Why do you think nobody¡¯s responded to our posters? Too aggressive?¡± Kip asked Zeke. Zeke bent down on one knee to take a closer look at it, resting his hand on his bandaged abdomen.

    ¡°Looks nice. The font makes the ¡®A¡¯s¡¯ and ¡®O¡¯s¡¯ look switched though. Kinda looks like it says ''Dork Lard.''"

    ¡°What?¡± Kip said, ¡°I don¡¯t think so. Oh, I kind of see it. Drat, that¡¯s the biggest part of the poster.¡±

    ¡°Looks like we¡¯re selling a kind of animal fat that only the lamest people on earth would buy. And that¡¯s just not good branding.¡±

    ¡°Crimey.¡± Said Kip, ¡°What a mess. I shouldn¡¯t have done the lettering myself. Well, maybe people will still get the message?¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± A man with a button up short sleeve tripped over a root on his way over. His quills almost came out of his pocket and he picked up his broken glasses off the floor. and said, ¡°Whoopsy doodles! Hey, sorry. Are you the people selling Dork Lard? I¡¯m taken up a spot of cooking and-¡±

    ¡°Get out of here, Dork.¡± Said the minotaur, ¡°Nobody wants to sell you lard.¡±

    ¡°Wait! Would you like to join the dark lord¡¯s army?!¡± Said Kip.

    ¡°Uh, that¡¯s the bad guy, right?¡± The nerd asked.

    ¡°Not at all!¡± Kip said, ¡°So, actually, I¡¯m the dark lord now and¡­ We¡¯d love to have a human join our cause. We¡¯ve had many who were human join but we¡¯d love someone who is pre-nonhuman. Not to say that you would become something else! Although if you wanted-.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re the dark lord?¡± The nerd asked, ¡°That¡¯s hilarious. You¡¯re like a huge dork.¡±

    ¡°Contrary to popular opinion,¡± Kip said, ¡°I''m not a huge dork.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Zeke said, ¡°He¡¯s not a huge dork, you are.¡±

    ¡°You guys are both lame,¡± the nerd said, ¡°What is that, a mullet?¡±

    Zeke turned to show his mullet, ¡°You better freaking believe it¡¯s a mullet. Come on, Kip. Let¡¯s show this guy that the dark army doesn¡¯t mess around.¡±

    The guy turned away, tripped over the same branch he¡¯d tripped over on his way in, and got up and ran off into the forest.

    ¡°What a jagoff,¡± Said Zeke.

    ¡°Shame. Would be interesting to have some humans on our cause. Do you really think I¡¯m giving off big dorky energy?¡±

    ¡°Not at all, Kip.¡± Zeke said, ¡°That guy doesn¡¯t know a dork lard from a dark lord that¡¯s on him. But Kip¡­ Maybe we keep on a lid on you being the dark lord for now?.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Kip asked, ¡°I am the dark lord.¡±

    ¡°I know, buddy, but you¡¯re not that strong yet. You¡¯ve grown but some of the battles you¡¯ve won have just been luck. And there will be stronger people coming your way. Especially if we don¡¯t have two floor lords at the moment.¡±

    ¡°Right,¡± Kip said, ¡°Zeke, it¡¯s just that no one takes me seriously. I have to do something to prove that, you know? I have to¡­ get my name out there. That¡¯s the purpose of this quest, I think.¡±

    Zeke nodded and grabbed another nail from his satchel as Kip hiked up a poster to put on another tree, ¡°Well, time¡¯s ticking right? We¡¯ve been posting these posters all day and nobody¡¯s responded. How much time you got left?¡±

    Kip was too scared to look. He had to get 20 followers by a certain time or the quest would be canceled. He opened his scroll up and saw:

    Followers gained: 1/20

    Time limit: 23 hours 47 minutes 21 seconds remaining.

    Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

    ¡°I have the day left,¡± Kip said, ¡°This is not good. 2 days was just not enough time to get this many followers. I¡¯m stumped.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve got it! Why don¡¯t we check out the dark hall near the edge of the fierce forest?¡± Zeke asked, ¡°We can do some jobs. You can get stronger. You can spread your good word silently, and we¡¯ll get to help some dark folk along the way. Sounds like a win win win!¡±

    ¡°Capital idea, Zeke!¡± Kip said as he jumped up, ¡°Let¡¯s go see what kind of stuff we can uncover at the nearest seedy bar!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, let¡¯s hit up Skofflaw¡¯s.¡±

    ¡°What is that?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°Skofflaw¡¯s is a monster or criminal¡¯s own version of an adventurer¡¯s guild. People can put up jobs where they put bounties on humans and we can collect on them.

    ¡°Amazing! I¡¯ve never even been to a bar, let alone an adventurer¡¯s guild! Off to Skooflaw¡¯s!¡±

    ¡°Off to Skofflaw¡¯s!¡± Zeke corrected.

    Zeke and Kip made their way to the dark adventurer¡¯s hall. It was an open concept, no roof for some of the bigger folks. A beguiling tune of strings was played as the barflies stuck to their usuals and the adventurers were there on business. Kip was in awe. All manners of scary beasts and wicked things hung out in armors and swords that could instantly vaporize Kip if he even so much as looked at his reflection in one of the shields.

    ¡°A proper baddie¡¯s bar!¡± Said Kip, ¡°Maybe I¡¯ll order something! Like a real bad guy.¡±

    ¡°Go for it, Kip!¡± Zeke said.

    ¡°Excuse me, bartender!¡± Kip called out to the bartender, ¡°Yoo-hoo!¡±

    ¡°Kip, don¡¯t say ¡®yoo-hoo¡¯ people are going to think you¡¯re a wuss.¡±

    ¡°How else might I get his attention, Zeke? Garcon! Garcon! He''s coming this way!¡±

    ¡°What is it you¡¯d be ordering?¡±

    ¡°May I please ask for a glass of milk?¡± Kip asked.

    Zeke sat next to him, ¡°He means brown milk! As in, whisky or tequila.¡±

    ¡°Oh no,¡± Said Kip, making a sour face, ¡°I¡¯ve tried tequila and it tastes terrible. Like the opposite of milk. No wait, the opposite of milk is chocky milk and that tastes delicious.¡±

    Zeke covered his face, ¡°Please don¡¯t say ¡®chocky milk¡¯ at this bar.¡±

    ¡°If he wants milk, then milk is fine.¡± The bartender said.

    ¡°You know it¡¯s not fine,¡± muttered Zeke. The bartender got some milk that had been laying in an ice chest; he poured out the little dribble of alcohol that had been left in a cup and poured in the milk, then he handed it to Kip.

    ¡°Thank you, partner!¡± Kip said.

    ¡°Kip, this bar¡¯s really rough. Try not to cast too much attention to yourself. Maybe hide that glass.¡±

    ¡°That guy drinking milk?¡± Someone called from the other side of the hall.

    ¡°I know there ain¡¯t no milk drinker in here.¡± Said another voice.

    ¡°Excuse me,¡± Someone touched Kip¡¯s shoulder. Kip turned around. It was a headless horse. His horse head rode on the back of his horse back, affixed upon a saddle, ¡°I know you ain¡¯t no lily-livered milk drinker that just strode into our hall.¡±

    ¡°Forgive me,¡± Kip said, ¡°My name is Kip. What¡¯s your name?¡±

    Zeke stood up out of his chair, towering over the headless horse. The head looked up. The body stepped back nervously, ¡°He¡¯s with me. And so what if he wants to drink milk?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s good for the bones after all!¡± Chimed in Kip.

    ¡°Enough, Kip.¡±

    ¡°Sorry, Zeke. That was my bad.¡± The horse kept backing away and went to its own table.

    Zeke turned to face the bar, ¡°This kobold¡¯s under my protection! Anyone got a problem, they can deal with my two horns, then back to Kip, ¡°Let¡¯s just look at some bounties and get out of here.¡±

    Kip and Zeke approached the wall. Zeke could hear whisperings. He distinctly heard someone say ¡°He said his name was Kip, right? Isn¡¯t that¡­¡± Zeke shook his head, nerves tangling in his stomach. Kip looked up at the wall, it was filled with bounties set in four rows.

    ¡°There are four levels at Skofflaw¡¯s. There¡¯s Dragon tier, then Tiger tier, then Dog tier, and finally, all the way at the bottom near the floor, is Bunny tier.¡±

    ¡°Maybe we start with a bunny wall?¡±

    ¡°Remember that I¡¯m here with you. Let¡¯s look over the tiger tier. Let¡¯s see.¡±

    There were three. There was:

    <ul>

    <li>

    Stiff Bones: Price, 8,000 Dub. The picture was of a skeleton. Cause: Slaughtered the Otter Potter¡¯s Daughter

    </li>

    <li>

    Lucky Lester: 9,000 Dub. This picture was of a man with a wide grin and bags under his eyes. Cause: Killed Double Dead Dan twice

    </li>

    <li>

    Anton The Antagonizer: 10,000 Dub. It was a bald headed man with a manicured mustache. Cause: Kobold Massacre

    </li>

    </ul>

    ¡°Oh my,¡± Kip said, ¡°These are¡­ quite strong, Zeke.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve got to start taking out some stronger people if you want to become a symbol of hope for these guys.¡± Zeke said.

    ¡°What about this one?¡± Kip said as he pulled a job from the Bunny Wall.

    ¡°The bunny wall?¡± Zeke said, ¡°What does it say? Let me see that. ¡®Help wanted. AJ keeps kicking sand into our home. We are a group of burrowlings and Aj keeps coming in here and kicking sand into our burrows. Will pay in bugs,¡¯¡± Zeke said, ¡°¡®Not good bugs, we can¡¯t afford to give you those. Just gnats and cockroaches.¡¯ You want to be taken seriously, right?¡±

    ¡°Of course I do¡­ but¡­ Within reason. Besides, if there are a lot of people in this burrowing¡¯s family then this will help complete my quest!¡±

    Zeke rolled his eyes, ¡°You want to be taken seriously, I want people to take you seriously, the best way to do that is going to be through brute force.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s settled, Zeke. Let¡¯s handle this AJ guy.¡±

    ¡ª

    ¡°These tunnels go deep all along this area, but the dastardly AJ keeps kicking the entrances in,¡± The burrowing explained, ¡°My eldest daughter almost had her head crushed because she was attempting to exit when AJ used his mighty leg to collapse our entrance.¡±

    ¡°Of course. Of course,¡± Kip said, ¡°We are going to help you deal with this character. I want to promise you that I, personally, Dark Lord Kip, am going to take care of this problem. In fact, if you pledged your heart and soul to the dark lord, then we could offer you more permanent protections. I know having a brigade of serious hole diggers would be most helpful in setting up traps.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s something we¡¯ll consider if you help us with our probelm.¡±

    ¡°And how many are there of you?¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s twenty six of us.¡± Said one of the small burrowlings with pigtails.

    Kip nudged Zeke¡¯s ankle, ¡°twenty six, Zeke. That¡¯s just perfect. We will do what we can to protect all of you!¡±

    Zeke sighed. One of the burrowlings popped his head out of the hole, ¡°He¡¯s here!¡±

    These two simple words caused the other burrowlings to go into a panic. They all scurried around and escaped into different holes.

    ¡°Zeke, steel yourself. We have no clue what or who is coming.¡±

    ¡°I have a good guess.¡± Said Zeke.

    Kip braced himself, placing his claws out and a ready stance.

    ¡°Well, well, well,¡± Aj chuckled as he walked up to them, ¡°Looks like those rats brought help.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s AJ?¡± Kip asked, his mouth agape.

    Aj stood at 52 ? inches tall, his shorts giving him the perfect mobility for kicking, and booger stains on his t-shirt.

    ¡°He¡¯s eleven.¡± Zeke said.

 Ch. 31: AJs Father

    AJ stared the dark lord and mob boss down.

    Zeke let out a deep sigh as Kip scratched his head.

    ¡°He¡¯s a kid.¡± Zeke said, ¡°This kid must be 10 at most.¡±

    ¡°Try 10 and a half, dorkwad.¡± The kid said as he approached them. The final burrowling, the runt, burrowed to safety inside one of the entrances. AJ took notice, ¡°Now you two better move out of my way. I¡¯ve got some holes to kick in.¡±

    Zeke stepped out of the way, ¡°Kip, this is a waste of time.¡±

    ¡°AJ.¡± Kip said, ¡°Look here, this hole doesn''t belong to you. It belongs to the good people of this burrow. Now I know it may seem fun, kicking dirt into holes but I assure you for the good denizens, it is not. Will you find some other hole to kick? Maybe an anthill?¡±

    ¡°Nah,¡± AJ said, ¡°I¡¯m going to need to kick that hole in. Get out of the way or get the boot.¡±

    ¡°Well¡­¡± Kip said, ¡°I would hate to get the boot but I¡¯m sorry, AJ. Nothing is going to stop me from getting in between you and this oof!¡± AJ kicked Kip in his shin. Kip gripped his shin and fell to his knees. Zeke rolled his eyes.

    Zeke let out a soft sigh, ¡°Come on kid, get out of here.¡±

    ¡°You want me to kick your shin too, big doofus?¡±

    ¡°Go for it.¡±

    The little kid walked up to Zeke. AJ was no doofus. He knew that he would have to really reel his foot back for a kick for someone of this size to hurt him. AJ placed his foot as far up as he could. His foot was so far away from Zeke that he had to outstretch his arms and lean against Zeke¡¯s knee.

    ¡°You ready?¡± He asked.

    ¡°Yep.¡±

    ¡°Hiyahh!¡± AJ yelled as he slammed his foot against Zeke¡¯s shin.

    ¡°That it?¡± Zeke towered over most humans but to one as small as this, he must have seemed like an indestructible monster.

    ¡°But¡­ why didn¡¯t it? Why?¡± He kicked Zeke again. Then kicked him a third time, not stopping even for a second. Each time attempting to elicit a reaction from the giant minotaur. Still, Zeke never gave in, ¡°No fair!¡± AJ said, ¡°You must be cheating!¡±

    ¡°I ain¡¯t cheating,¡± Zeke said.

    ¡°No fair! You must be! My kicks are strong and powerful!¡±

    ¡°Not as strong and powerful as MEEEEE!¡± And with that, Zeke dipped his head lower and roared at the boy. The noise echoed through the fierce forest. Birds several miles away fluttered away from their perch out of fear.

    ¡°Now, get out of here. We have real work to do.¡±

    AJ tried to hold in his emotions but even someone with as powerful a kick as him was still subject to his nine year old emotions. He bellowed into tears and ran away crying, ¡°NO FAIR!¡± He said one last time as he ran away from the burrowlings.

    ¡°You can all come out now!¡± Kip said, ¡°We¡¯ve defeated the monster!¡±

    The burrowlings each poked their tiny heads out of the big hole in the center. They slowly crawled out, ¡°You did this?¡± They all looked at Zeke.

    Zeke let out a sigh, ¡°Me and Kip both did! The Dark Lord and his mob boss!¡± Zeke patted Kip along on the back so hard that Kip fell over.

    ¡°Oof! That we did! And if you¡¯d like to enter into a pact with me, the Dark Lord, you¡¯d be seeing some heavy perks! Including an introduction to our very own system, and royal protection, as well as some other benefits I would happily go over. Does dental sound good to everyone?¡±

    ¡°Won¡¯t do me no good,¡± Said a chipmunk who smiled a toothy smile. But other than him, all the burrowlings jumped for joy and scurried to hold up Kip as they shouted, ¡°Hooray to the Dark Lord! Hooray to the Dark Lord!¡± Hooray to the Dark Lord!¡±

    Kip smiled at Zeke, who¡¯s mouth conformed into a smile but who¡¯s eyes read something else. A slight wobble in resolve that Kip couldn¡¯t quite place. They walked along back to the adventurer¡¯s guild. Kip could not stop looking at the shiny new number he saw on the scroll that held his system.

    27/20 Followers

    20 hours 35 minutes and 54 seconds remaining.

    ¡°We did it!¡± Kip said as he happily drank his milk ¡°We did it! We got enough converts! Once that timer ticks over, we¡¯ll be done and I¡¯ll get some prize no doubt! Oh, isn¡¯t this wondrous, Zeke?¡±

    The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    ¡°It¡¯s great buddy. Drink your milk.¡± Zeke said as he drank his barrel of red mead.

    ¡°Zeke! Won¡¯t you join me in a toast?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t feel like toasting, buddy. You have your little fun.¡±

    Kip sidled up to his long time buddy. He looked up at Zeke, ¡°What¡¯s wrong, Zeke? You always want to toast.¡±

    Zeke let out a breath, ¡°Kip, What¡¯s this job mean to you? Really.¡±

    ¡°Lord, Zeke,¡± Kip said, ¡°It means so many things to me. Probably the most exciting thing is being able to help the denizens who need it the most.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s amazing!¡± Zeke said, ¡°I want that for you. But Kip¡­ if you want to help the little guy, you can¡¯t stay a little guy.¡±

    ¡°Right,¡± Kip said.

    ¡°Kip, As the Dark Lord, you can¡¯t be having other people fight your battles for you.¡±

    ¡°I haven¡¯t had them fight all my battles.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve been putting in the work, don¡¯t get me wrong. But Xrgl was the one that turned the tides against the Ducervi. Davorin¡­ try as he might to play the big bad guy¡­ he didn¡¯t want to kill you. He gave you some free swipes.¡±

    ¡°I fought Blademan mostly by myself!¡±

    ¡°Except for the one part where Jasper almost died defending you, right?¡±

    ¡°Right,¡± Then, limply, Kip said, ¡°I handled Sprocket.¡±

    Zeke snapped his fingers and pointed, ¡°You handled Sprocket! By yourself! And you learned a lot! But, Kip. Your job is to protect these people. You need to be strong to do that. What I¡¯m saying is¡­ You chose a gimme today. You fought against a toddler. Hell.. you didn¡¯t even do most of the fighting.¡±

    Kip laughed nervously, ¡°I guess you did. Kid had one heck of a leg.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s promise ourselves that tomorrow, we go out and find a serious mission. Because frankly, you can¡¯t keep running around looking for kids to scare.¡±

    ¡°No¡­ I suppose you¡¯re right. Well, alright then. Maybe it¡¯s the milk talking, but I think we should do a greater quest!¡±

    ¡°A tiger quest?¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s try a dog one. But a really tough dog quest, like a rottweiler of a quest. How about it?¡±

    Zeke smiled, ¡°Okay. But you¡¯re going to fight this one head on, right? You can¡¯t be our strong leader if you keep running away.¡±

    ¡°I promise, I¡¯ll fight this one hea-¡±

    Kip woke up. His mouth was dry from sleeping with it open. His head hurt from all the milk he drank, ¡°I must have whited out.¡± Kip said to himself. He was outside of Skofflaw¡¯s. He looked around and found Zeke lying on his back, his belly drifting up and down. His snoring, atrocious and arrhythmic.

    ¡°Zeke,¡± Kip said as he licked his lips. He held his hand out so that the sun didn¡¯t hurt his eyes, ¡°I have a headache but my bones feel great,¡± Kip said as he pushed on Zeke, ¡°Zeke, Wake up buddy. We gotta get back to the castle.¡±

    Kip opened up his system and looked at the quest again. His eyes lit up. Something was wrong. Under the quest completion it read:

    19/20 Followers

    ¡°What? This can¡¯t be right¡­ Zeke¡­¡± Kip looked at it again.

    18/20

    17/20

    ¡°Heeeelllp!¡± Kip heard a tiny cry from behind him, ¡°Heeeelp!¡± Another tiny cry followed and then soon a bobble of cries came from the way of the burrowling¡¯s home.

    ¡°Mr. Dark Lord!¡± Said one of them.

    ¡°Mr. Dark Lord''s, your highness!¡±

    ¡°Sire, the dark lord!¡± And on and on one by one they all attempted their own variation on Kip¡¯s title. Kip reached out his hand and said ¡°Please, please. I get it! What is it!¡±

    While catching a breath, the tiny little burrowling with the blouse and satchel on said, ¡°Mr. The Dark Lord, your most highest highness¡­ AJ is back, and he¡¯s brought his father.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that shouldn¡¯t be too much of a problem,¡± Kip checked on the dozing Zeke. No. No need to get bailed out again. I¡¯ve got this. It would be up to Kip to stand up for himself in this fight. Even if it meant going to blows with a really annoying kid, ¡°Show me where they are.¡±

    ¡°Huzzah, Dark Lord! Right this way!¡±

    Kip allowed the burrowlings to grab his hands and walk him back over to a new set of holes. AJ, waiting with his father. Kip squinted as he stared at the man. He had a big well manicured mustache. His head had such thin blonde hair that it might as well have been bald. Why had Kip seen this human before?

    ¡°Is this the one that bullied you?¡± The man asked Kip.

    ¡°Yes.¡± AJ said, ¡°That little turd and his huge friend. The big turd. Where¡¯s your turd friend, little turd?¡±

    ¡°Out with it, turd!¡± Said the father, ¡°Tell my boy where you¡¯re hiding your friend.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have to say,¡¯ Kip said, ¡°And you know what? I won''t¡¯ say. This should stay between you and me. Sir, your son was acting awful these last few days. Just the worst. He was kicking in dirt into the burrowling¡¯s house. Making a mess and potentially endangering them! What if they had been under that hole when he kicked it in?¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s a big fat liar!¡± Screamed AJ, pointing his little finger at them, ¡°He¡¯s only saying that because he¡¯s a big jerk face. Don¡¯t listen to¡¯em daddy!¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think I will. Now, see here. If those houses were better built, maybe they wouldn¡¯t have caved in. Either way, that does not mean my precious boy deserves a scaring. Understood?¡±

    ¡°Sorry, but not understood.¡± Should he say it? Kip wondered. Zeke had told him not to, but this seemed like as good a time as any, ¡°It is my business because these are my subjects and I¡¯m the Dark Lord.¡±

    AJ and his father, presumably AJ senior, both exchanged glances and laughed, ¡°You¡¯re the dark lord? No. I don¡¯t think so, chap. But that was a good one. I¡¯ll have to tell that one down at the hunting club. Maybe I¡¯ll tell the story and embellish it a little, you¡¯re too pathetic on your own, I need to give you something that will make the audience like you. Maybe I¡¯ll give you muscles.¡±

    ¡°Excuse me, sir,¡± Kip said annoyed, ¡°I have muscles. They¡¯re just quite puny. And I may not look it, but I¡¯ve defeated a troupe of Ducervi with some help.¡±

    ¡°Probably a lot of help!¡± Said AJ. And AJ senior burst out laughing at this.

    ¡°You¡¯re right, son. Probably a lot of help!¡±

    ¡°Okay. I think I¡¯ve had about enough of all this. Your son has been very mean to the burrowlings and I think it¡¯s best if you both leave! I can probably take down a normal human anyway! And his snot nosed little boy. So come on! Let¡¯s do this!¡±

    Kip shined his claws at them, but the senior AJ had stopped laughing, ¡°Ordinary man? Doubt it. Me? Not even close. Anton Junior, find cover.¡±

    ¡°Yes, dad.¡± AJ said as he ran slightly far away, AJ looked back and stuck his tongue out at Kip, ¡°You¡¯re in a lot of trouble with my dad, mister!¡±

    ¡°Anton¡­ junior?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s right!!¡± AJ laughed again and pointed right, and made a thumbs down mark with his hand, ¡°And my dad¡¯s name is Anton!¡±

    ¡°A¡­AJ¡­ Anton Junior¡­ Don¡¯t tell me¡­¡±

    ¡°Pleased to meet you, Dark Lord. I¡¯m Anton. Anton the Antagonizer.¡±

 Ch. 32: Fire vs Pig

    Davilo grabbed Casio¡¯s shirt and pulled him close, ¡°If you have even half the wits you pretend you do you will release my power.¡±

    Davilo tried to grab his attention but Casios could only look down at his hands. They were glowing faintly. Pulsing with shades of orange and red under the skin.

    ¡°Gods,¡± Casios said, ¡°Gods, I feel revitalized. Gods, I feel good.¡±

    ¡°Fool.¡± Davilo said, ¡°Release it!¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s going to happen to him?¡± Baela asked.

    ¡°Surprised you can even talk with my rapier stuck in your chest.¡± Casios said, ¡°But now that I¡¯ve gotten even a fraction of that power¡­ well¡­ I¡¯ll show you ¡®too weak.¡¯¡±

    Davilo looked down. He grabbed the rapier and pulled it out of his chest. He dropped the metal on the ground. Useless and now warped from staying inside Davilo¡¯s chest for too long..

    Casios laughed. His wicked laugh bounced off the night streets as he held his belly. The power that surged within him covered every one of his cells. He felt the fire all around him.

    Casios stuck his hand in the air and shot fire from his palm. A large spray of inferno emerged, at least as tall as the flaming clocktower.

    ¡°You fool.¡± Davilo turned to Raka and the dwarf, ¡°Tell him to stop.¡±

    ¡°They couldn¡¯t stop me if they tried.¡± Casios said as he stuck up his other arm and shot up another spire. This one lasted longer than before and still sprayed hotly before dwindling. Casios stared at it, unexpected.

    ¡°Only you can stop me now. Baela! ¡° He called out, ¡°Baela, the two of us should have enough to take him down now.

    Baela poured out of the fountain. She approached with caution, a look of horror on her face. ¡°Casios. Cas, you can¡¯t feel it?¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong, Baela? You look like you¡¯ve seen a ghost.¡±

    ¡°Cas,¡± The dwarf said, ¡°You¡¯re entirely on fire.¡±

    Casios looked at his hands. There were little pulses of fire that started from his hands. He looked at his torso. Fire there too. It had burned off his clothes. He could not even see the flesh of his own body. His inner body merely existed as a black sillouhette and the source of the flame.

    Davilo looked at Baela, ¡°Spray him now.¡±

    Baela¡¯s head bounced between Davilo and Casios, ¡°I¡¯ve only got one more ice spell and it might kill him.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s already dead.¡±

    Baela pointed her staff at Casios. Casios shook his head, ¡°You can¡¯t stop me now. I won¡¯t let you.¡±

    Baela shot out water as Casios stuck out his hands and shot out fire. They met in the middle, a big pillar of steam coming off where the two forces met. Cas¡¯ burning heat holding firm against Baela¡¯s water.

    ¡°Okay!¡± Baela said, as she lowered her stream, ¡°Okay, Cas I¡¯m stopping the spell! Please turn your fire off! Ahh!¡± Raka jumped in and tackled Baela out of the way of the ensuing fire, ¡°Casios, stop!¡±

    Casios wanted to. He didn¡¯t know how to turn it off. He pointed it back up at the sky. He held his hand there but the fire continued, ¡°I¡­ Can''t stop it.¡±

    Out of nowhere, the fire had spread from the other arm, the spray his a building and he pointed his other hand up as well.

    ¡°I can¡¯t stop any of this.¡±

    ¡°TURN. IT. OFF!¡± Davilo cried.

    ¡°I ca- can¡¯t tu. I¡¯m trying!¡± Casios said, ¡°I can¡¯t release it!¡±

    If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.

    ¡°It¡¯s too late,¡± Davilo said with a weary head, ¡°It would be best if we cleared the town.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t tell me,¡± Raka walked forward. Casios was spraying so much fire from his feet that he began to lift upward. He hovered in the sky as inferno erupted from all extremities. ¡°He¡¯s just going to¡­ die?¡±

    ¡°You all don¡¯t have to. I¡¯ll do my best to contain the flame.¡±

    All the animals that had ridden toward the center of town stopped, they watch Casios be consumed by flames. Sal stepped forward, ¡°I¡¯ll help you, Dav.¡±

    Davilo nodded his head. He approached. Davilo caused a wall of fire around Casios. He pushed the flame in the clockwise direction, creating a fire tornado that was entirely. This caused Casios¡¯ flames to melt in with the flames of the tornado, forcing any potential damage up.

    ¡°We¡¯ll all help,¡± Storm said.

    ¡°Help the humans?¡± Said the infurtle, ¡°No chance.¡±

    ¡°The humans, yes. And the rats and mice and cats and dogs that can¡¯t speak. We must protect the innocents. If we do that, I shall take you all to a place where you are all free!¡±

    All the enchanteds and sapiens stared in shock. A brave Water Bunny stepped forward, each step wetter than the last, ¡°Where do you need us?¡± She asked.

    Sal and Davilo stood next to each other, Sal placing his body in the path of such high heat. The wind whipped at their faces as they both saw Cas inside of the tornado. Fire came out of every orifice of his body. Beams of light came from his eyes. His mouth could not closed as too much magma poured out. He was screaming in agony.

    ¡°Go, son!¡± Davilo said, ¡°This might be too hot for you!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not leaving you, Lord!¡± Sal screamed back at him.

    Meanwhile, behind them, Stormbristle told all the water creatures, ¡°I need you all to hit me with everything you¡¯ve got.

    They all jumped into the fountain and shot the water right at him. The water sunk into his cloudy exterior, and with it, he began to grow in size. He pushed up, floating into the air.

    ¡°Keep shooting me with water! As much as you can!¡±

    Just then he felt a burst of water from a different source, as he bobbed around, he saw Baela shooting water from her staff.

    ¡°But Storm!¡± Cried Sal, ¡°You won¡¯t be able to get close enough! The heat will wither you!¡±

    ¡°I have something that will help.¡± Storm took out the little blue vial that Patella had given him and drank from it. He suddenly felt bolstered as he continued to grow in size, ¡°Wind creatures! Blow me as far up as you can!¡±

    As the water creatures continued to shoot Storm with water, the wind creatures lifted and flew and commanded the wind to breeze onto Storm directly. The updraft took him where he needed to go. As he got bigger and more full of water, his clouds got darker. They began to blacken and there would be shocks of lightning all inside of his body. Davilo and Sal did their best to control the flame. The other fire creatures stepped in to help manage it. The fire tornado swirled above. Storm was getting slower to the top of the inferno spire.

    The water creatures could no longer get their water that high. Baela and could not longer shoot water that far. Instead, she pointed her staff at the heart of the tornado. Directly as Casios.

    ¡°Porsoon.¡± The pork said in a weighted voice. He began to forcefully expel the water inside of him to the person directly below.

    ¡°Everyone! All the firefolk! Drop the fire!¡± Sal yelled. They did. They dropped the fire tornado and backed up, giving Storm the opportunity.

    Buckets of water rained down on the concentrated spot. They poured onto Casios like a powerful waterfall. The fire erupting from Cas was steaming some of it off but the water was too strong. It rushed down and enveloped the fiery human in water. The audience could see the glowing orange inside of the waterfall but as it continued, the glowing orange died down and was completely covered by the pork¡¯s rain magic.

    Stormbristle drifted downward the more water he ejected from his body. He kept pouring as he got closer and closer but he soon returned to his original size and floated downard. All the animals, the Ducervi and the devil crowded around Casios¡¯ limp body. He he was blackened by soot. His eyes were closed. He was splayed against the ground. Baela pointed his staff directly at him.

    ¡°Cas,¡± Raka nudged him, ¡°Cas, are you alive?¡±

    Casios was silent.

    Davilo had his hands up, ready to capture the flame again. When there was prolonged moment of nothingness, he merely gestured to Sal and Storm that it was time to leave. Storm and Sal gestured to all the animals that it was time to go. There was a big celebration of their combined powers, as they all galloped off into the sunrise toward the Dark Kingdom. Davilo was the last to go. When Baela was finally done staring at Casios¡¯ carcass, she saw that Davilo was looking at her. She did not instantly feel rage. In that moment, she felt nothing. Davilo said to Baela, ¡°What happened here was that two people were so enraged by their own weakness, that they almost burned down everything. And for that, I can not fault either of you. Until next time, Baela the Ice Wizard.¡±

    Baela watched him go. She had her strongest spell. The elf even pointed her staff at Davilo and thought about using it. Her staff shivered as her anger began to refill inside of her. But the dwarf pushed her staff down.

    ¡°No bad fights, Baela. We¡¯ll get him though,¡± he said with a wink.

    Just then, Baela heard coughing. She looked and saw Casios hacking up a solid chunk of coal. He opened his eyes and looked up at his comrades, ¡°Where am I? Are we the winners?¡±

    Raka took a deep breath. She bent down and rested on her knees and placed her hand on Casios¡¯ shoulder.

    ¡°We are¡­ and I can¡¯t stress this enough¡­ absolutely fuc-¡±

 Ch. 33: The Antagonizer

    ¡°Dukes up, then, Come now!¡±  Said Anton as he jutted his fists up, protecting his head.

    ¡°You¡¯d like to¡­ to fight?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°Of course!  Come now!  On with it!  Stick up those namby pamby fists of yours. We¡¯re to duel for my son¡¯s honor.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I¡­ I think we should wait a few hours.  Maybe¡­ after we¡¯ve all gotten some water and something for a headache.¡±

    ¡°Why do you keep looking behind you? Are you expecting your own father to come and help you?  Aren¡¯t you supposed to be the Dark Lord?¡±

    ¡°I am¡­ it¡¯s just¡­ my subject isn¡¯t here.¡±

    ¡°Then fight on your own, you nonce.  Lest you make those very subjects look foolish.¡±

    ¡°Aye.  I¡­ guess no one¡¯s coming.  Maybe still drunk that third barrel of ale.  I suppose I¡¯ll have to handle this¡­ myself.¡±

    ¡°Go on then! Stick them up!¡±

    Kip did one last final look back.  There were no horns peeking out on the horizon.  He had left a note but it seemed as though Zeke was not coming.  Kip sighed and took off his glasses, placing them on the ground.  ¡°Okay, I suppose we have to fight.¡±

    Anton took off his shirt and his armored cowl.  Although he was an older man, his build was sculpted with large muscles.  His deltoids were overdeveloped with a healthy chest separation.  His biceps met with well formed forearms and his fists were huge.  He was mostly balding, with soft blond hairs that were better off being shaved off and fully committing.  All the mustache from his head must have traveled to his immaculate blond mustache, freshly waxed.

    Kip stuck up his fists as well.  He bobbed them back and forth like a kind of boxing pantomime, unsure what he was to do.  His claws could work, but would it be unsportsmanlike to use them when this man is using his fists?

    ¡°Shall we get a bell count?  Come my boy.  Bell count your father so he can knock some sense into the dark lord.  Onward!¡±

    ¡°3¡­

    2¡­

    1¡­ Go dad!¡±

    Anton was about ten feet away.  Two dashes and he slipped within reaching distance.  Anton pulled his right back and threw a hook.  The size difference gave Kip a window to dip below him.  The hook met with nothing but air and Kip was behind him.

    Kip reached out and punched him in the glutes, he felt nothing but a hard wall.

    ¡°Oh, you haven¡¯t heard about the famous glutes passed down from my grandfather?  Sorry.  You¡¯re better off connecting with some other underdeveloped muscle,¡± Hh chuckled, ¡°If you can find one.¡±

    Kip punched below the glutes, railing into the hamstrings.

    ¡°Ah!  My hamstring!¡±

    Kip felt a little bit of energy behind his punches.  He had been in a few fights at this point and could feel the muscles that had developed.  Still, the punches felt vapid.  It was all arm, no back or legs, and he could not develop the power enough to work some weight into Anton The Antagonizer¡¯s lower half.

    Anton spun his torso around, his fist scooping at the ground.  Kip saw it and in just enough time he screamed out ¡°Burst!¡± And jumped up high.  Anton¡¯s errant punch landed on a tree instead.  As soon as the fist touched the trunk, an actual explosion rang out where the knuckles made contact.  What was left was a large hole through the old, thick pine.

    ¡°What in the what?!¡± Yelled Kip as he fell back down.  Anton was waiting for him, already recovering from the punch.  He arced his elbow over Kip, striking him in the back with a downward elbow strike, driving him into the ground with a resounding force.

    Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

    Kip smashed against the ground, rolling and then scrambling to pick himself up, jumping backward as Anton approached.

    ¡°What was that?!  You can punch through trees!¡±

    ¡°Course I can.  Why else do you think I fight with my fists?  It¡¯s my boon, dear boy.¡±

    ¡°Your boon?¡±

    ¡°You see, I was up against a rowdy row of magma jabblers.  Nasty little vermin.  I had a medley of ordinances to blow them away.  Water scrolls.  Fire resistant gear and the like.  But the gods presented me with a challenge.  I was to beat them with merely my fists you see.  It allowed me to embed their ability to destruct within my fists and that is how I became known as ¡®The Fist of the Ulmund Kingdom.¡¯¡±

    Kip shook his head angrily, ¡°I¡­ I was holding back, I suppose.  Okay, claws are on the table!¡±  Kip said nervously.

    ¡°Whatever.¡±  Anton stepped closer.  He bucked his torso back and teeped Kip right in the face.  The foot smashed him in the snout and caused him to fall backward onto a bramble.

    The brute approached.  Kip looked up at him, He was blocking the morning sun, the orange around him washed out his menacing smile and only made him into a vulgar silhouette, indistinguishable from an orc or bugbear.  He clamped his hands, raised them above his head, and smashed down on Kip.

    Kip didn¡¯t have any chance to get away as the fist slammed down on him.  Blood spurted out of his mouth as he was driven further into the ground.

    ¡°Please, not the explosion fists!¡±  Coughed Kip.

    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s going to be the explosion fists.¡± Said Anton.

    Kip sunk his teeth into Anton¡¯s leg.  Anton howled.  The boxer bent down and grabbed Kip, sticking his fingers in the corners of Kip¡¯s mouth and pulling at the edges.  The pain from Kip¡¯s lips caused him to release his hold with his mouth.  Anton lifted Kip up.  Like he was serving a ball, he tossed Kip in the air, cocked his fist back, and as Kip fell to eye level, he  punched him in the gut.

    The pain was horrendous.  Kip went flying farther than he had ever been sent flying before.  The explosion bore into his belly and launched him across the forest floor.  The burrowlings watched from their hole as Kip¡¯s body was tossed across the forest floor and he landed against a sharp rock.

    ¡°Typical,¡± Said Anton, ¡°Even the lowest of kobolds still have some kind of diluted, derivative of a dragon¡¯s scale.  Makes sense that you would be able to take on that impact of my explosion.  Surely that still hurt, however.¡±

    ¡°Oh, surely.¡± Kip uttered as he felt like he was coughing up a lung.  His hoodie had a large hole singed off.  His belly had taken some bruising, and some of his scales had flaked off from such a severe punt to the gut.   Kip stuck up his dukes, breathing heavily.

    How the heck am I going to win against this guy?  Kip thought to himself.  Although he had gained some levels here or there¡­ this was still very far off from taking on a Tiger level threat alone.

    He watched as Anton punched the air.  He needed a way to beat this guy.  He needed a way to win.  He reached into his tool belt and felt grenades.  He could use that.  What else?  Kip scanned the area.

    His face lit up.  He was glad that Zeke wasn¡®t around to see what he was about to do, straightforward was just not his style.  Kip stared down at Anton.  He took out his grenade and placed it in his hand.

    Anton put his dukes back up, protecting his house, ¡°I can sense it.  You¡¯ve finally woken up.  Here¡¯s to a good fight.¡±

    Anton barreled toward Kip.  Kip ran toward Anton.  Kip coughed on the grenade and lit it up as he approached the man with his fiery fists.  Anton launched a fist at Kip.  Kip slid on his knees, dodging the fist and throwing up a grenade right into Anton¡¯s face.  Anton looked at it and before he could turn back, the grenade exploded.  Ice covered Anton¡¯s upper half.  It was an invention of Kip¡¯s own design.  He took Ice Ivy from a frozen river bank, ground them into a fine powder in the blizzard cold so the friction of his pestle and mortar did not heat up the ivy.  He added a little bit of pressurized water and trapped it in a clay form.  The ignition would merely break the seal of the clay, and the water would shoot out the Ice Ivy who¡¯s most notorious properties was an ice infection upon contact with skin.  It wasn¡¯t as strong as the real plant, but It had done the job.  Anton was covered in ice.  Anton took his fist and punched his now iced torso.  The explosion rang out and broke the casing into little bits.

    Anton looked around.  Kip was nowhere to be found.

    Anton walked along, ¡°Don¡¯t seem like the type to leave.  Hmmm.  I wonder, I wonder.  Must be some kind of stratagem being employed. But what?!¡±

    ¡°Ah hah!¡±  Anton said to himself as he walked the little path behind him.  He looked right down the hole of the burrowlings, ¡°Yes.  Now I see.  The very subjects you¡¯re supposed to be protecting.  Using their hard work to hide from me.  What a lord you are.  Truly.  You know, I¡¯m part of the Ulmund Army.  High up actually.  I would never think to use civilian homes this way.  But that¡¯s me.

    ¡°If I wind up my fist, I can contain a lot of the explosion and¡­¡± Then he punched down into the hole.  The explosion caused a surge of fire all throughout the little ecosystem.  Kip was climbing through as best he could but the fire reached him, enveloping him and shooting him out through an open hole like a geyser.

    ¡°Yeewwouch!¡±

    Kip slammed against the ground, ¡°Maybe that wasn¡¯t the best plan.¡±

    Anton chuckled, ¡°No.  In fact, it was quite base.  How many of your little burrowlings do you think you¡¯ve hurt with that plan?  How many do you think are dead?¡±

    A gruff voice rang out from a large minotaur with a flowy mullet behind him.  ¡°You messing with my little buddy, punk?¡±

 Ch. 34 The Freak Is Back

    ¡°My¡­ My¡­.¡± Anton looked up at Zeke, ¡°Seems the little twerp really was telling the truth. How else would he have Zeke the freak under his employ?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. That¡¯s our Dark Lord hiding in the gopher tunnels,¡± Zeke said as he stared down Anton.

    ¡°Not very strong of a dark lord is he?¡± Anton mocked.

    To this, Zeke said nothing.

    Anton squeezed his fists and pointed them right at Zeke, ¡°Do we still have a problem? Or shall we call it square.¡±

    ¡°Like a rectangle.¡± Said Zeke as he picked up Kip from the ground.

    ¡°Wait, what?!¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°Come on, Kip. He worked you over. Let''s go home before we get hurt anymore.¡±

    ¡°N-no!¡± Kip said, ¡°They were making life even harder for the burrowlings! This is unacceptable!¡±

    Zeke held Kip over his shoulder as Zeke kept walking away. Kip could look back and see Anton and Aj¡¯s smug faces as Aj waved bye to him.

    ¡°That¡¯s not my job.¡± Kip could see the panicked faces of the burrowlings half poking their heads out of their hidey-holes.

    ¡°The burrowlings will-¡±

    ¡°Before Anton showed up, it was just a kid kicking holes in.¡±

    Kip saw the burrowling with pigtails shaking as she watched AJ kicking dirt into her hole, ¡°STTOOOooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOP!¡± Kip screamed.

    Zeke stopped moving.

    ¡°Put me down!¡± Kip said angrily.

    ¡°But Kip I-¡±

    "It¡¯s not a request, it¡¯s an order. Put me down!¡±

    Zeke held off for a minute, processing. He put Kip down. Kip stormed right back to the two Antons.

    ¡°You two BULLIES need to understand exactly what kind of peril you cause in these critters¡¯ hearts! Now! I want you to apologize for everything you¡¯ve done and promise to not do it again!¡±

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t your keeper need you back at home?¡± Anton asked.

    ¡°He is not my keeper. And these burrowlings are all under my protection and as such I advise you against messing with them lest you suffer the wrath of the Dark Lord and his army.

    ¡°Fine. Let¡¯s see what that suffering looks like," said Anton.

    Kip immediately turned back to Zeke, ¡°Zeke! Please help me incur my wrath upon him.¡±

    Zeke jogged back to his place and mumbled, ¡°You got it, buddy.¡±

    Anton punched Kip. The explosion went off in his face as Kip was sent flying. He bounced on the gravel and whizzed by Zeke who caught him mid air.

    ¡°Well, we¡¯re in it now!¡± Zeke said as he threw Kip right back at Anton.

    ¡°WHAAAAA!¡± Kip went soaring back. Kip summoned his wings. As Anton readied his punch to catch Kip in mid air, Kip outstretched one of his wings. The draft caught the inside of it and spiraled him to the left. Anton missed and Kip was now behind him.

    One more pump of Kip¡¯s wings and he cancelled the forward momentum. He reached out and with his claws, raked Anton¡¯s back.

    "AHH!¡± Anton focused his attention on Kip. This was a tactical error. Zeke was now behind him.

    ¡°Keep your eyes on me, little guy!¡± Zeke said as he placed together his palms and swung down to the ground. Anton jumped backward, looked up and placed his hands together to block, but when Zeke¡¯s fists blotted out the sun, Anton thought better of it. He evaded and watched as the two fists destroyed a large rock that was right in front of him. Zeke winced as his body folding caused his wound to stir. He grabbed his bandages.

    ¡°Bully, my boy!¡± Said Anton, ¡°We¡¯ve got quite the challenge! Zeke the Freak against The Fist Of The Ulmund Empire. You know how wanted you are by the Ulmun?¡±

    ¡°Whatever it is, I promise I¡¯m worth much more.¡±

    Zeke punched Anton. The force of the punch knocked him backward, his feet dug into the dirt as he slid along the trajectory of the punch so deep that the earth reached up to Anton¡¯s ankles.

    ¡°Get him dad!¡±

    ¡°Pipe down!¡± Zeke said, ¡°Tell your dork son to pipe down.¡±

    ¡°Son! Get in here, son. Prove to me what a man you are.¡±

    ¡°I will, dad! I¡¯ll show you what a man I am!¡± AJ went straight for Kip.

    ¡°Oh no, not the child.¡± Kip said.

    AJ jumped and tackled Kip to the ground, slapping at Kip¡¯s face. The force caused Kip to fall back onto the ground. With Aj on top of him, Aj started slapping at Kip¡¯s face. Kip attempted to cover himself as best he could but the slaps, while not difficult, came with the undying energy of a child.

    Meanwhile, Anton reached over and punched Zeke¡¯s arm. The blast caused Zeke¡¯s arm to fly back from a heavy shock, ¡°You got some mean knockers on those shoulders, I¡¯ll give you that.¡±

    ¡°Thank you. It was in fact, my boon, that-¡±

    This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

    ¡°Don¡¯t care; get punched.¡± Zeke landed a shot on Anton¡¯s chest. Anton let out a grimace of pain as his back collided into a tree. Anton grabbed Zeke¡¯s oversized fist and pulled it off of him, ¡°Strong.¡±

    ¡°Too right.¡± Anton used his brute strength to pull the heavy weight of the fist off of him. When there was enough of a gap created, Anton slipped under and landed another punch right in the center of the forearm next to the bone. The pressure point immobilized Zeke¡¯s arm for a moment. Anton then landed another punch on Zeke¡¯s hip. Zeke angled his hip so Anton connected with bone. Zeke had to let go of everything and shift to defense. Anton¡¯s flaming punch bounced off of Zeke as he absorbed the blast. The reverberations of his tough hide agitated the wound he¡¯d incurred from the Ducervi on his belly. He reached to protect it and took a step back. Then another step back. He flailed his other hand, keeping it lengthy and unpredictable so Anton couldn¡¯t close in.

    ¡°Ahhhhh!¡± Said Anton as he languished the new information, ¡°A big red button on your belly that says: Punch me¡¯ for all to see. Fascinating.¡±

    ¡°Kip! A little help!¡± Zeke yelled out.

    ¡°Ah! I¡¯m trying, Zeke! But I can¡¯t seriously harm this kid can I?

    ¡°Snap that little freak¡¯s neck and get over here!¡± Called out Zeke.

    Kip managed to wrestle AJ so that he was on top. He grabbed AJ¡¯s two hands so that he grabbed AJ¡¯s wrists and pinned him down saying, ¡°Please don¡¯t do anything bad and I won¡¯t hurt you!¡±

    AJ spit on Kip¡¯s face and thrashed his body helplessly as he kept screaming, ¡°Not fair, not fair!¡±

    Kip let out a deep breath. He lifted his head up and head butt AJ. AJ''s nose bled but he did not stop thrashing, ¡°Quit hurting me!¡±

    Kip headbutted AJ again, and this time he felt AJ¡¯s hands go limp. With some of AJ¡¯s blood still on Kip¡¯s forehead, he turned to Zeke and said, ¡°Coming Zeke!¡±

    ¡°Well well,¡± Anton sr. said, ¡°Seems I¡¯ve raised a weakling. When I was his age, I was beating kobolds left and right. Everyone remembers their first level. My first miniboss was a mean old kobold by the name ole Grimmy One Eye. FInished him off with a sword to the neck.¡±

    ¡°It sounds like you just beat and killed a disabled Kobold.¡±

    ¡°All¡¯s fair, as they say!¡± Said Anton as he reached down and punched the ground. The force of the launched him in the air as he somersaulted over Zeke¡¯s large frame. Zeke looked up at him and swung his head so that his horn could pierce him in the air, but Anton was ready for that. He folded his body and shifted in the air, dodging the horn attack. He landed He landed behind Zeke and punched him square in the thigh, the tender flesh that was no quite hamstring. Zeke buckled and Anton released another deadly punch on Zeke¡¯s belly.

    Though Zeke had his belly covered, Anton still punched at the hands covering it. The hands did little good as the explosion shocked through Zeke¡¯s protective fingers and affected his current wound.

    Zeke wobbled back. He spit out blood and rubbed the blood off his maw. He took labored breaths as he stuck his fists up.

    Kip ran toward them and flapped his wings again, giving him a burst forward. He lifted his foot up and launched a flying kick at Anton.

    Anton slapped Kip out of the way with his large palm, ¡°No time for children¡¯s games!¡±

    Zeke pointed his head down and said, ¡°Massive Attack!¡± He pummeled Anton into the earth, trapping Anton into the ground with his huge horns acting as a hold. Anton spit up blood, the force knocking the wind out of him as well as some of his fight.

    ¡°Pinned me have you?¡± Anton asked.

    ¡°Kip! While he¡¯s pinned, scratch him up!¡±

    Kip lifted himself up, still a little stunned as he ran up to Anton. He leaned down and scratched Anton¡¯s face, taking out plugs of hairs of his mustache.

    ¡°Ahh! Dear me! Seems the moppet has some bite in him!¡±

    Anton craned his neck downward.

    ¡°Don¡¯t stop, Kip! Get mean!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m scratching him! I¡¯m getting mean!¡±

    ¡°Meaner, Kip! Meaner!¡±

    Kip felt the disgusting feeling of flesh giving way to his sharpened claws. Kip closed his eyes as Anton pulled his head down and yanked it back up, whacking Kip in the nose.

    ¡°Ahh!¡± Kip yelled. Anton leaned in and said, ¡°I don¡¯t have enough force to create an explosion. Looks like I¡¯ll just have to..¡±

    Anton squeezed his muscles. His muscles were so large that this pushed Zeke¡¯s horns out by a few second centimeters. Anton placed his feet flat on the ground and pushed himself out, launching his scratched bald head back into Kip¡¯s nose, headbutting him once again.

    ¡°Not again!¡±

    Anton was free. Zeke pulled his horns out of the earth, ¡°I¡¯m going to do it again, this time, I¡¯m not going to hold back.¡±

    Zeke¡¯s horns began to radiate energy as he began charging up his massive horn attack. Anton looked at Kip, who was still getting up. He saw Zeke charging up, and he turned to his son, who was now bested on the ground, just starting to grab his infantile head and get back up.

    ¡°Impressive. You¡¯ve won this round Zeke.¡±

    Zeke breathed deeply as he held his guts, ¡°Sure feels that way.¡± He kept charging his horn up as Anton punched the ground, he once again flew across the field, grabbing his son and placing him over his shoulders. His son was riding piggyback. Anton turned and said, ¡°I¡¯ll be sure to tell the Ulmund Army all about your new dark Lord.¡±

    Zeke looked over to Kip who had stuffed some fabric from his hoodie into his two nasal cavities to subdue the bleeding. Anton held his fists, charging for one final attack and punched the ground once again, flying into the sky and away from the two.

    Kip rushed over to Zeke to help him, ¡°Zeke! Zeke, please tell me you¡¯re okay!¡±

    Zeke breathed deeply. He lifted his fingers and watched as some blood poured out, ¡°I need to get to Azami. Just¡­ just give me a second.¡±

    Zeke sat back down on a large sloped rock. He wheezed with every breath. Kip placed his hand on Zeke¡¯s massive knee.

    ¡°We did it, Zeke. We scared off Anton. The burrowlings are safe.¡±

    ¡°Good. Good. The burrowlings. Just give me a second here, yeah, buddy?¡±

    Kip did, he let Zeke breath as he approached the burrowlings, ¡°If they come back, we¡¯ll deal with them.¡±

    The main burrowling, a wise old chipmunk with a wispy white stache said, ¡°Thank you for your help, Dark Lord. We believe it best to just move.¡±

    ¡°What?!¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°If this is a fight between two kingdoms and we have laid roost on the border¡­ even with your protection, more trouble is to come. For that¡­ We do what we must to protect our people.¡±

    And with that, all the rest of them burrowed away. Kip waved at them as they went. He looked solemnly as they disappeared into the hole.

    Kip opened up his scroll, he looked at it. One by one, he saw the number of followers go down until all that was left was the one. Blademan.

    1/20

    Time remaining: 0 hours 1 minute 03 seconds.

    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Zeke.¡± Kip said, ¡°All this and I failed. I failed and didn¡¯t convert a single person. In fact¡­ it¡¯s even worse. I couldn¡¯t protect them. It was like you¡­ do you hear barking? Oinking? Meowing? Turtling?¡±

    ¡°This way!¡± A boarish voice said as a stampede of animals approached, ¡°This way to freedom!¡±

    Just then, emerging through the trees were the enchanteds and sapients as they all charged past Kip and Zeke through the forest. And then emerging behind them¡­ was Sal riding Stormbristle.

    ¡°SAL!¡± Kip said as he hugged the ran up to hug the boar and salamander.

    ¡°The rest of the troupe are behind us! We did it, Kip! And we brought some new friends! All hail the Dark Lord!¡±

    ¡°All hail the Dark Lord!¡± The animals said in unison.

    ¡°How¡¯s that for a welcome party? I¡¯m going to get all of these folks on the property! I¡¯ll talk more at home!¡±

    Kip stared in amazement as the party came back. But once his mind clicked, he reopened his scroll. The number told a different story.

    29 out of 20 Followers

    20 seconds remaining.

    ¡°We¡­ we did it, Zeke! I don¡¯t know how but we did it! I¡¯m about to achieve my first quest!!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m really happy for you buddy,¡± Zeke said through continued deep breathing, he had moved from rock to laying against the ground on his back, his hand still gripping his wound, ¡°Hey buddy?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, Zeke?¡±

    ¡°I love you.¡±

    ¡°I love you too, Zeke.¡±

    ¡°But I invoke the articles of succession. I challenge you to a duel.¡±

 Ch. 35: The Guantlet Thrown, Picked Up, And thrown Again

    Kip nervously played with the Dark Lord¡¯s trinkets As he sat at the desk in the study.  He picked up one marble and watched as it transferred force to another.  The marbles in the middle merely a conduit for the force provided.

    Kip sighed and leaned back into his chair, staring up at the ceiling.  He covered his face with his hands and thought about Zeke.

    Zeke had challenged him to a fight three weeks ago.  Zeke and Kip agreed to postpone it until Zeke was done healing.  With some magic buffs and some serious bedrest, Zeke was finally on the mend.  Kip picked up two balls and let them go.  Two balls on the other side burst out and the click clack of the two balls as slowly the external force subdued.

    ¡°My actions have consequences.¡± Kip said silently to himself.  He looked over labyrinth incident reports.  There were three intruder parties that made it past the labyrinth exit.  They had all made it past Blademan¡¯s vibrations.  Whether it was a party of rogues, or someone had cast a Soft Step spell.  In the final case, someone had tripped escaping Blademan.  Luckily that person broke their neck on the fall down.  Other than that, Blademan had killed up to 10 intruders who made it to the boss level and seriously maimed 8 more.

    ¡°Good work.¡± Thought Kip as he looked over the numbers.  There was an art form to dungeon management that Kip was learning.  But with only three parties making it to the other floor, these were good numbers.  Admittedly it was off-season, but he was happy that he could at least show something about his decision.

    ¡°Kip?¡±  Said Jasssper, ¡°You ten o''clock isss here.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Jasssper,¡± Kip said, ¡°Can you send them in?¡±

    ¡°No, sire.  You¡¯ll have to sssee him in the throne room as he¡¯s too big.¡±

    ¡°Ah, right.¡±

    Zeke had healed enough that it was time to have an uncomfortable conversation.  Kip walked out to the throne room, its high ceilings and large double doors perfect for meeting with larger creatures.  Zeke was sitting on the steps of the throne room.  He stood up in Kip¡¯s presence.

    ¡°Hey, buddy.¡±

    ¡°Hey, Zeke,¡± Kip put a smile on his face.  They both stood there, awkwardly waiting for the awkwardness to settle.

    ¡°You want to sit on the throne and start talking?¡± Zeke asked.

    ¡°I¡¯ll sit on the steps with you.¡±

    Kip did so.  The difference in size was laughable.  Kip hadn¡¯t grown much since he first met Zeke, and Zeke had sprouted considerably.  They both stared out.  When one tried to sneak a glance, the other did too.  Their eyes met, they both sweated out an awkward smile and more silence.

    ¡°So¡­¡± After some time Kip interjected.

    ¡°I¡¯m not happy with how this is going down,¡± Zeke said.

    ¡°I know.¡±

    ¡°I want what you want.  I want everyone in the domain to be secure.¡±

    ¡°I know.¡±

    ¡°And happy.  And protected.¡±

    ¡°I know, Zeke.¡±

    ¡°And¡­ it¡¯s not that I don¡¯t love you, Kip.  And¡­ if you were stronger¡­ It¡¯s not about all of us bailing the Dark Lord out.  It¡¯s about the Dark Lord protecting us.  And I think Davorin didn¡¯t get that.  I don¡¯t think that dink Blademan wants that¡­ but I¡¯ve got a better shot.  But it¡¯s like I said a while ago.  You¡¯re just a little guy.¡±

    ¡°I know.¡±

    ¡°But then I think about how we met.  How it¡¯s my job to protect people like you¡­ and¡­ the path to doing that makes it impossible.  Becoming the dark lord doesn¡¯t seem like it¡¯s worth it especially if it means we wouldn¡¯t be buddies.¡±

    ¡°What are you saying?¡±

    ¡°So I decided to retract it.¡±

    ¡°Retract?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s settled.  I retract my challenge.  I¡¯m sorry I got mad at you, buddy.  It was just thought because¡­ I had to come in and help you, but that was a freak accident and I don¡¯t blame you at all for acting how you did.  The plan was to take that guy two for one, anyway.¡±

    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

    ¡°Stop¡­ Stop.. Zeke.  Please,¡±  Kip said as he waved his hand.

    ¡°Really, Kip, I¡¯m sorry!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not mad!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not?¡±

    ¡°No, lord, I thought you were still mad at me.¡±  Kip said, ¡°I¡¯m happy you retracted it.  Thank you and I care about our friendship as well.¡±

    ¡°Oh thank the lord,¡± Zeke felt like a weight had been lifted.  He grabbed his horns and started sniffling, ¡°The truth is¡­ The truth is I didn¡¯t want to crush you buddy.  It¡¯s my job to protect you and the idea of taking you down was just too much.  I woulda thwomped you.  And nobody would have wanted to see that,¡±  Zeke covered his hands in his head and Kip could hear sniffling.

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure if it¡¯s a guarantee you would have thwomped me.¡±

    ¡°I woulda!  I woulda thwomped you good.  You¡¯re tiny, Kip.  You¡¯re meant to be protected.  That¡¯s okay!  That¡¯s your role.  You¡¯ll be able to think about the smaller guys.  But you need the sheepdogs to help keep out the wolves.  That¡¯s my job.¡±

    Kip reached over and patted Zeke on the knee.

    ¡°Zeke.¡± Kip said.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°I accept your challenge.¡±

    ¡°I rescinded it.¡±

    ¡°I reject your rescission.¡±

    ¡°I appeal.¡±

    ¡°Appeal denied.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re treating me like Davorin did but in reverse.  You¡¯re treating me with kid gloves.  I¡¯m not a kid.  And if you thwomp me in your challenge, then that is your right.  You think you can do a better job of this than I can?  Don¡¯t let your own bitter ego stop you.  After all, I might win.¡±

    Zeke let out a throaty laugh before sniffling and snorting back his mucus.  He wiped his nose and said, ¡°Yeah, Kip.  Maybe you might.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t think so?¡±

    Zeke wiped the snot with his bracers, ¡°I¡¯m not a betting man, Kip.¡±

    Kip shook his head, growing angrier, ¡°Still with the kid gloves.  You know what I think?¡±

    ¡°I thought you just told me what you think.¡±

    ¡°I think you were just mad I told you what to do.¡±

    ¡°When?  At the fight?¡±

    ¡°Of course at the fight.  You wanted to be the big man and walk away and I wanted to protect those burrowlings.¡±

    ¡°You wanted to protect them?¡± Zeke prodded, taking on an extra inquisitive affect as if to mirror Kip¡¯s own words back at him, ¡°Ooooh.  See, I thought it had something to do with the quest you were given.  The one that our system coughed up.  Yeah, something tells me that had more to do with it.  What ability did you gain?  Or was it loot?¡±

    ¡°It was a two for one,¡± Kip said, ¡°But what would leaving have done?  Saved your own hide.¡±

    ¡°Not leaving certainly didn¡¯t.¡± Said Zeke.

    The energy had changed.  They now looked at the other as if each owed the other something.  They had come in more tense than when they had left it.  Zeke let out a deep inhale, ¡°You want the challenge to continue.¡±

    ¡°I do.¡±

    ¡°I still don¡¯t want to crush you.¡±

    Kip looked at Zeke,  Jasssper!¡± he cried.

    Jasssper slithered in, ¡°Yesss sire?¡±

    ¡°Who¡¯s this guy?  He¡¯s like a lizard with no legs.¡±

    ¡°Very asstute, minotaur.¡±

    ¡°I asked Jasssper to research more of the cases behind the succession clause.  Specifically article 4.   How they¡¯re moderated, the rules attached.

    ¡°It can¡¯t be something where there is a massive disparity.  If there is, it can be sent to tribunal.  Say you both went into a weight lifting contest, that would easily be struck down.  That¡¯s why the more complex and less straightforward the better.   Something like a fight is a blurrier, although there''s a chance Kip could have called a tribunal for Davorin¡¯s proposition.¡±

    ¡°Okay.¡± Zeke said, ¡°So we¡¯ll come up with something that takes more than just strength.  Something that takes more.  Hmm¡­¡±  Zeke looked at the kobold.  Then turned away, ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°Just say it.¡± Kip said, ¡°Tell me what you¡¯re thinking.  I¡¯m eager to work with you here.¡±

    ¡°Tag?¡±  Zeke asked, ¡°Person who¡¯s it is toast.¡±

    ¡°Sire,¡± Jasssper whispered in Kip¡¯s ear, ¡°He¡¯s much bigger than you. That¡¯s more to tag.  Meanwhile, there¡¯s only so much area he can tag with you.  This is a success!¡±

    Kip said as the color drained from his face, ¡°Take it back?¡±

    ¡°To the very beginning.¡±  Zeke said as he reached his hand out, ¡°Oh!  But that¡¯s not all!¡± Zeke said, ¡°This is, after all, about who¡¯s the best in charge.  This should be a team game of tag.  My guys against your guys.  What do you say?¡±

    ¡°My¡­ guys?¡±

    Zeke crooked his head, ¡°Sure.  You and your new snake friend.  Whoever else you can round up.  That boar you like so much.  Maybe the witch?  Let¡¯s say a team of four?  What do you say?¡±

    ¡°Okay.¡± Kip said, ¡°Okay, I accept.¡± Kip reached his hand out, it was completely engulfed by the minotaur¡¯s hand.

    ¡°Who are your ¡®guys?¡¯¡± Asked Kip.

    Zeke¡¯s smile suddenly went from soft and friendly, to in a second, menacing.  ¡°Oh, I can¡¯t wait for you to meet him.¡±

    And with that, Zeke walked away, leaving Kip sitting on the steps of an empty throne room, possibly down one good friend.

    One week prior, outside of the Dark Lord¡¯s domain, there was a small crowd of generals talking strategy.  In their dusty tent, they had a young recruit fetching them their lunch order that the private chef was set to make.  Some wanted their omelets runny, some with mushrooms and some without.  They were all discussing the muckety muck that went on in maintaining an army, as well as who forgot their wife¡¯s birthday the most.

    ¡°Who is wrapping at our tent¡¯s door?!¡±  Asked one whose bald head somehow led the way to two glorious white mutton chops.

    ¡°It is one of the lieutenants.  Told he has top of the line news that couldn¡¯t reach any other ear but ours.  Send him in,¡± said another with a glorious slicked back sandy hair, soulful blue eyes, and a beard that covered his eternal frown.

    The hooded figure came in.  He closed the tent behind him and looked at the young recruit still taking orders.  Eventually one of the generals closed rolled his eyes and shooed the boy away.

    The boy left the tent, and the hooded man revealed himself, ¡°Gentlemen,¡± Said Anton, ¡°I have some very interesting news about who is¡­ supposedly, leading the Dark Lord¡¯s Domain.  It seems we may have a¡­ very exploitable vulnerability.¡±

 Ch. 36: Kip Vs. Zeke

    Not as many people showed up as the fight between Lord Davorin and Kip, but there was still a crowd of people. Kip saw a few of his brothers taking a break from the labyrinth duties to watch. It was Zip, Pip, and Chip, Rip and Skip. Kip waved at all of them. Kip ran up to them to say hello.

    ¡°Hey, all! Glad to see you. Is mum joining us?¡± Kip asked.

    ¡°Ma? Nah, Ma¡¯s working a shift. Couldn¡¯t get it off, she said. She sends her love and says she¡¯s rooting for you, though! We all are, Kipple.¡± Said Skip.

    ¡°No problem, what about Lip? Is he coming?¡±

    To this, the brothers all looked around, ¡°Eh, you know how Lip is. He¡¯s a little too all work and no play. He¡¯s here in spirit though.¡±

    Kip separated from his brothers and left to meet his team. Jasssper had agreed to help, although he was not one for physical fights. As well as Stormbristle. He could float up in the air and there were no people too hot to keep him weighed down. But it was the fourth teammate that was still missing.

    ¡°Are you ready, my boy?¡± Stormbristle asked.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Kip said, ¡°I think we have a good team, don¡¯t you?¡±

    Stormbristle shrugged his little piggy shoulders, ¡°It¡¯s a good thing it¡¯s not a direct fight.¡±

    ¡°Do you think they¡¯ll show? The fourth, I mean. It was a big ask.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure she¡¯ll be here any minute now.¡±

    Zeke called out from the other side, ¡°Hey! Is your whole team here?¡±

    Kip looked back at Zeke¡¯s team. They were all tall, and mean looking, and powerful. It would be difficult. They had settled on the Northern side of the Fierce Forest. It was an area both Kip and Zeke knew very well. But both Kip and Zeke¡¯s teammates were unfamiliar.

    Kip just gave a thumbs up, ¡°Just give us a minute!¡±

    Zeke leaned into his teammate¡¯s ear and said, ¡°He gave a thumbs up but then said ¡®just give us a minute,¡¯ That¡¯s weird right?¡±

    Kip turned around, he scanned the crowd. Then he saw her, ¡°Azami!¡±

    Azami was wearing her normal hat, her aquamarine hair flowed behind her as she wore a cardigan with a cat pattern on it, ¡°Hey, sorry I took so long. The swamp¡¯s on the other side of the mall and I figured we¡¯d give the guy a rest before the big show.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s okay. You¡¯re sure you don¡¯t mind helping us?¡±

    ¡°Oh, it was never my decision,¡± Azami laughed, ¡°Besides, if I¡¯m not going to do it, at least I can lend him out for help!¡±

    Azami stuck out her hand. A whoosh of wind and wood crossed through the forest and stopped perfectly at Azami¡¯s held out hand, ¡°Swiff! It¡¯s like we talked about. You¡¯re going to be helping out with these boys. Make mama proud!¡±

    Kip smiled at Azami, ¡°Thanks! So long as we have Swiff, we can¡¯t lose!¡±

    They all turned back and Kip flashed another thumbs up to Zeke, ¡°Thank you for the patience! We¡¯re all ready!¡±

    ¡°So they weren¡¯t already!¡± Zeke asked, ¡°What the hell does this guy think a thumbs up means? I can¡¯t track it.¡±

    The teammate next to him just said, ¡°Don¡¯t let him get in your head.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s already in my damn head! You think he¡¯s already got a series of symbols that he¡¯s using to communicate? Should we do that?¡±

    ¡°What do you think?¡±

    ¡°Nah, too much effort. Let¡¯s just stick to the plan.¡±

    The banshee, Maeve came out and swirled around the top of the jungle, ¡°Okay! We have our next challenge! This time, it¡¯s two best friends pitted against each other! Zeke the Freak and Dark Lord Kip! Wow! They have decided on a game of group tag.¡±

    Stormbristle turned to Swiff and Jasssper and whispered, ¡°It was weird when she called them best friends. I mean¡­ I''m best friends with Kip. Right? Come on now.¡±

    ¡°Let''s jussst let her finish,¡± Said Jasssper, who hated Stormbristle.

    Swiff said nothing, but merely nodded their bristles in agreement. Swiff had had some friendly interactions with Kip, although he lacked the ability to speak, but he always had the sneaking suspicion that Kip considered Swiff his best friend. Swiff did not consider Kip his best friend. His best friend was Azami. And Azami¡¯s best friend was her cat named Crystal Ball. And Crystal Ball was kind of a mess.

    Stormbristle turned to Kip as Maeve continued with the preamble, ¡°What do you think about what she¡¯s saying, Kip?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s always been a great orator. And the rotting flesh¡­ it works on her, no?¡±

    The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    ¡°I mean about what when she said you and Zeke were best fri-¡±

    ¡°Excuse me!¡± Maeve called out Stormbristle who was whispering into Kip¡¯s ear, ¡°Are we all done? I¡¯m about to explain the rules.¡±

    ¡°Talk later, Kip.¡± Storm said as he stared down Zeke.

    ¡°So! This is a game of group tag! The way this is going to work is that there are four people who are ¡®it.¡¯ As soon as the majority of people are tagged, then the team tagged reverts to being it. The person who was tagged but the majority has not been tagged can only give the ¡®it¡¯ back to the person that tagged them. We will run this for one hour, and as Zeke issued the challenge, we shall be starting his team as ¡®it¡¯. I would also like to remind everyone that the fate of our leadership relies on two grown men playing a children¡¯s game.¡±

    ¡°Of course she gets a barb in,¡± Kip muttered. Kip turned to his team, ¡°Okay. So the plan¡¯s pretty simple. All of us are small and move differently, so we¡¯ll just run in opposite directions and hide somewhere. Storm, you can float upward. Jasssper, you can slither into a hole, and Swiff, you¡¯ll be flying me if you¡¯re okay with that. The name of the game is evasion and speed! We¡¯ve got that in spades!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s right, best friend.¡± Stomrbristle said.

    There was a tense moment when no one immediately said anything after that sentiment. It made for a crushing silence before Stormbrsitle finally interjected, ¡°Maybe that¡¯s what we¡¯ll call our team? I was thinking we could call our team, ¡®The Best Friends¡¯ And I was trying it out. WE don¡¯t have to if it¡¯s stupid.¡±

    ¡°No, that¡¯s okay,¡± Said Kip.

    ¡°It isss stupid.¡±

    ¡°I like it!¡± KIip turned to Maeve and said, ¡°We¡¯re going to go by The Best Friends.¡±

    ¡°Heh,¡± Zeke chuckled, ¡°That works perfectly, because we¡¯re going to go by the ¡®Beast Friends.¡± Better. More letters.¡±

    ¡°Right.¡± Kip said, ¡°We are ready to start when you are.¡±

    ¡°Okay, everyone get into positions. Beast Friends, please turn around and cover your eyes. We¡¯re going to give the Best Friends a 10 second head start. Ready?¡±

    The two teams lined up. There was a small circle made of chalk that the Beast Friends all stood inside. And Kip and his team were in a larger circle surrounding that one.

    ¡°3¡­ 2¡­ 1¡­ Go!¡± Maeve called out.

    And with that, they were on their way. Jasssper whirled off as quickly as he could down the trees. Stormbristle took to the skies, letting himself float up, bouncing up tree branches as he gained distance.

    Zeke turned to his teammates and said, ¡°Just like we planned. I chose each one of you to go after a specific guy. Kip¡¯s great, but he¡¯s a little predictable.¡±

    ¡°Smart of you, boss,¡± Said one of them.

    ¡°Yeah. Kip¡¯s really smart so I just thought about what I would do, and I reversed it. Then I made a plan based on that.¡±

    ¡°How long did that take you?

    ¡°I Noodled over it for about two days. Couldn¡¯t eat. Just a big ol¡¯ chalkboard where I drew out a bunch of stuff.¡±

    ¡°6¡­5¡­.4¡­ 3¡­¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s get ready, fellas.¡± Zeke said, ¡°Let¡¯s stick to the plan.¡±

    As Zeke turned his back, the three teammates all exchanged looks with each other. They flashed themselves knowing smiles.

    ¡°2¡­1¡­ Now!¡±

    Zeke pointed toward Stormbristle, still visible but hiding in the trees.

    ¡°Mason! Toward Storm!¡±

    Then he pointed in the direction of the snake. ¡°Wolfgang!¡± Zeke said, ¡°And you, you¡¯re with me!¡±

    The gargoyle spread his stone wings and ran in a straight line, lifting off and heading toward Stormbristle. A gargoyle¡¯s wings were lifted by propulsion. As he propelled himself, he lifted his wings so the air would make his front lighter. He used this to fly toward the tree Storm was climbing at an increasing velocity. The Direwolf had not been top side. He sniffed the air and was fascinated by all the new smells. But there was one smell he could instantly pick out and that was the one he chose to focus on. Zeke had handed him some shedding that Jasssper had carelessly thrown away outside the study. Wolfgang used it to narrow down his search, and his large paws gained distance quickly. Zeke and his last teammate rushed off in the direction of Kip and the broom.

    <hr>

    A young rook ran as fast as his little legs could carry him toward the challenge.

    ¡°Oh, lord! Oh, lord, tell me I haven''t missed it! I asked one of the pawns to wake me! Oh, lord, I should have asked a knight!¡±

    It was a long traversal from castle Inversa all the way to the Northern Fierce Forest. He wanted to see the fight. He had made sure to get the day off with the queen so that he could come watch the fight between the new Dark Lord and Zeke. He remembered Kip¡¯s promise he made to the little guys.

    The rook climbed out of the worker¡¯s entrance hidden in a tree trunk and bounded toward the north. It was not long before the rook tripped over a root.

    ¡°Oof!¡± Rook said as he fell down a steep hill. Unfortunately, his natural shape made him perfect for rolling down a steep hill. He barreled down it, clacking against different trees on the way down.

    ¡°Oof! Ouch! Oh no! Oh, lord!¡± he yelled, before he landed on some hard earth.

    ¡°Well, well, Locke. We must really suck at our jobs. Seems we¡¯ve already been compromised.¡±

    ¡°I agree, Keelie. One of their best and brightest found us instantly.¡±

    The rook grabbed the ground and rolled himself over so his eyes were facing up at the two women looking down at him. One blonde, one red-headed, both wearing suits.

    He jumped up, brandishing a short sword and a shield, ¡°Intruders! I may be just a minion, but I''m a minion from Castle Inversa! I mean you no harm if you leave peacefully.¡±

    ¡°Go on.¡± Said Locke, ¡°I¡¯ll let you take the first swing.¡±

    Keelie stepped back behind Lock, to a tree that had a wide trunk. She rested against it and with her knuckles, knocked on the tree, ¡°You love to play with your food.¡±

    The rook narrowed his eyes, holding firm as the two women stared at him with bemused expressions.

    ¡°Sorry, I¡¯m more of a team player,¡± Rook said, ¡°You think I¡¯m going to be dumb enough to make the first move?¡±

    Locke rolled her eyes, took out her blade and bolted forward. Locke stuck out her blade and brought it down on Rook. The chess piece leapt and turned his body, rolling with his perfectly conical body. He circled around Locke faster than she could keep up. He leapt up and bashed his shield against her side, but her blade was there to block it. He lifted his sword up, but Locke¡¯s arm already grabbed her wrist. He stared into Locke¡¯s eyes. Locke stared into his.

    Locke¡¯s smile grew hungry.

    ¡°You won''t win," Rook said.

    ¡°Already have.¡± Locke let go of the Rook¡¯s hand. She sheathed her blade. Rook¡¯s hand was still up, struggling as if she had never let go.

    ¡°W-what are you¡­¡± The rook could not move. The rook heard the creak of a door and Locke placed her heeled foot on his chest and pushed him backward. The rook fell back and the next thing he knew, he fell. When he got up, the two were nowhere to be found. Neither were the trees and brush of Fierce Forest. Neither were any trees.

    As the rook looked around, he wondered what had happened to let him land in the middle of a desert.

 Ch. 37: Tag

    Stormbristle hurled himself in the air, attempting to gravitate away from the gargoyle.  The gargoyle flew toward Storm, his mace out.  Storm jumped from one branch to the next, attempting to gain height quickly.  The gargoyle swiped whatever branch Storm was just on with his mace, obliterating the limb into pieces.

    The gargoyle whizzed past Storm, reaching his hand out to touch him.  Storm kicked his foot against the trunk of a tall tree and twirled away from the gargoyle.  The gargoyle cursed as he flew by him.  The way a storm boar moved was using its own cloud body to bounce on the air currents.  The way a gargoyle moved was not unlike a constantly striking hawk, that would need a lot of runway to gain speed.

    Stormbristle had a tactical advantage so long as he stayed up in the trees.  Out in the open he would be tagged.  The only problem was, the higher Storm got, the less branches.  And as he looked down, he saw the gargoyle slowly destroying the lower branches, leaving him out of options.

    As Stormbristle rested daintily on a branch, he saw the gargoyle charging up again.   The gargoyle¡¯s bloodlusted face looked at him with fury as he stuck his mace out.  Stormbristle leapt up and the gargoyle¡¯s mace smashed against the limb of an old tree.

    ¡°Just what on earth are you doing?!¡± said the pig, ¡°You¡¯re going to really hurt me!  This is just a game of tag!¡±

    The gargoyle smirked, ¡°Yeah, maybe for you.¡±  He turned around in the air, pulling his body sideways , running between two trees as he jettisoned back toward Stormbristle.  Once again, he pulled back his mace, ready to smash.  Stormbristle attempted to jump up, but there was nowhere to land on.  He attempted to cling to the side of the tree but The gargoyle¡¯s mace smashed Stormbristle.  He floated down to the ground in agony, having been tagged ¡®it.¡¯

    Jassper could hear the howling behind him as he slithered through an abundance of brush and trees.  He noticed a tattered log and slipped inside.  He coiled to make himself smaller and attempted to lay his body so that the peeks of sunlight did not land on him.

    The wolf howled again, propelling himself forward.  The mismatch between the snake and the direwolf was palpable.  Even though the direwolf was used to snow and hale, he effortlessly bounded through the hot forest biome.  Leaping off the sides of trees and over a large fallen log that was in the way. He chased with a  kind of pernicious attitude that was only found in hungry dogs.  Jasssper thought he was safe, even snickering to himself how his hiding spot was the perfect place to hide from the rabid wolf, but just as he settled the wolf cried again.  The howling was much louder.  Much closer..

    He stayed perfectly quiet as he tried to listen.  He stuck his tongue out to smell him in the air.  The waft of a wolfy musk was close by.

    The snake looked up at the holes in the log.  Darkness covered one of the holes. Then the hole in front.  Soon, sunlight did not peek through any of the holes in the tattered log, and the musky scent of the wolf surrounded Jasssper on all sides. The snake was completely enveloped in darkness.  He could hear growling up top and watched as some drool from the top of the Dire Wolf¡¯s mouth dripped in.  Jasssper wiggled closer and looked through the hole. The angry gaze of the dire wolf met his.

    ¡°Uh-oh.¡± Said Jasssper.

    He slithered out of the log, the dire wolf¡¯s oversized paw smashed down on it.  The log splintered into a million pieces.  Jasssper slithered away, under the roots of the tree.

    ¡°Good hide, Jasssper,¡± said the wolf, ¡°But you better believe I have the nose to find you.¡±

    Jasssper wriggled through the gnarled roots of the tree, making his way to the other side.  But when he got closer, he saw the dire wolf¡¯s paws once again. Jasssper stopped as the direwolf¡¯s head dropped down and he gave a self-assured smile to the snake.

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    ¡°Found you.¡±  The dire wolf reached in and snapped the sinewy roots, creating a tiny space.  He snatched at them again, creating even more space.  The Dire wolf was brutally ripping into the roots, creating an area for his large neck.

    Jasssper slithered the other way.  The dire wolf reached his maw in and snapped at Jasssper¡¯s tail.  Jasssper felt the heat from the wolf''s mouth and pulled his tail in before the dire wolf snapped his teeth shut.  Jasssper felt the wet of the wolf¡¯s teeth on his tail.

    ¡°You¡¯re trying to bite me!¡± Screamed Jasssper, ¡°Those aren¡¯t the rulesss!¡±

    ¡°You might be playing a game of tag, but me?  I¡¯m hunting prey.¡±

    Jasssper slipped out of the tree and started climbing upward.

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m it now!  It¡¯sss your turn to run!¡±

    The dire wolf growled, ¡°I¡¯m not going anywhere.¡±

    Kip and Swiff raced through the trees.  Kip had mentioned the location to Swiff and was trusting Swiff to get him there.  The broom was moving at an alarming rate, the greens and browns of the trees blending together as Kip used all his strength to grab a hold of the broom.  He looked behind him, no minotaur yet.

    ¡°Per the rules of the game,¡± Kip said,¡± It makes sense for us to split three ways,¡± He explained to Swiff, "This way, the two can have a chance of getting their people back. Meanwhile, you and I can hide and use our speed to avoid being tagged.  I know a good spot we can hide.  One where Zeke never found me.¡±

    Swift made his way to one of Lethal Lake¡¯s eastward facing bays known as Baleful Bay.  The sun had begun to set as Kip and Siff approached a river outlet.

    ¡°Come on!¡± Kip said, ¡°This way!¡± He pulled Swiff by his handle and turned him around.  They went to a cluster of rocks placed together by some of the builders to create a break from the waterfall into the lake from the river.

    ¡°Oy,¡± Kip said, ¡°We¡¯ll squeeze in here.  If I still can.  I admit, I haven¡¯t grown a lot since I was a kid.¡±  He found the old hole he used to be able to sneak into.  He grabbed the insides of the cave and pulled himself in.  He attempted to wriggle through, even placing his hands below him and pushing, but he found that the space was smaller than he remembered.  To his dismay, he was stuck, with his hands firmly clamped at his side by the rock.

    ¡°Uhm, a little help here?¡±  Kip asked.

    Swiff¡¯s handle slumped, unhappy with his partnership.  He placed his handle (which was basically his head) And pushed Kip¡¯s dragon butt as hard as he could until Kip was through the rocks.

    Kip checked for scrapes. None.  He looked Through the other side, ¡°Okay!  Come on in, Swiff!  We¡¯ll hide out here until the hour¡¯s over!¡±

    Swiff nodded it''s broomstick, lifted itself up and slowly moved forward in the cracks between the rocks.  Careful not to develop any splinters.  Kip sat down and waited patiently for Swiff to enter.  He smiled as Swiff entered but the broom stopped dead in his tracks.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong, Swiff?¡±

    Swiff¡¯s body was shaking.  His broomhead was still on the other side.  It shook as it attempted to pull past the counterweight, but then it quickly pulled away.

    ¡°Swiff!¡±  Kip peeked outside the crack.  There they were, two huge brutes.  Zeke towered over his partner but his partner could have easily towered over Kip.  The pit fiend had a body wrapped in a leather jacket and gloves.  His head was a skull on fire.  His weapon of choice was a hook on the end of a chain that never ran out of length.  Kip looked out and saw that hook wrapped around Swiff¡¯s broomhead.  The pit fiend was pulling Swiff in as he tried to resist.  At one point, the pit fiend whipped the chain, the reverberations slammed Swiff against the ground.

    ¡°Hey!¡± cried out Kip, giving himself away.

    Zeke stuck his hand up at the pit fiend, ¡°Take it easy, Akun.¡±

    Kip buried himself further in the barricade of stones.  What were the chances?  What were the chances that Zeke knew about this hideout?  When they played hide and seek¡­ this was the place Kip would go to win.  It was impossible¡­ unless..  Had Kip told Zeke?  High off of milk, did he let it slip where the old hideout was?  No, it was his cherished little secret.

    He looked out again.  Zeke was close by.  The pit fiend was still wrangling in Swiff, who was now in the air.  It looked like he was some kind of kite.

    ¡°Oh, Kip,¡± Zeke said as he placed both hands on the rocks, ¡°I knew that you¡¯d go hiding here.  One thing you never knew is that I let you have your hiding spot.  It was the only way you¡¯ve ever beaten me in tag.  Had to give you a way to win, you know?¡±

    Zeke lifted the boulder, the light washed over Kip but was completely taken by Zeke''s shadow, ¡°I¡¯ve been taking care of you for a long time, buddy.¡±

 Cozy Interlude: Azami Tends To Her Garden

    Someone knocked on the bog witch¡¯s door. Azami was wearing pajamas even though it was ten in the afternoon. She was brushing her teeth when she waved her wand and opened the door. From her bathroom, she cried out, ¡°Who is it?¡±

    A young lizardfolk was standing there. He wore a short-sleeved white collared shirt, his head spines had been neatly brushed to the side, so it looked like a hair part. He wiped the sweat off his brow with a rag and slipped the rag back into his neatly tucked khaki pants.

    ¡°I said, who is it!?¡± Azami called out from the bathroom again.

    ¡°Uh, ma¡¯am? My name is Lizal Fus. My friends call me Lizel.¡±

    Azami came out brushing the morning frizz out of her hair, ¡°Well, hello, Mr. Fus, what may I do for you? You know it¡¯s not very polite to interrupt a witch before she¡¯s ready.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, ma¡¯am. May I ask, what was it you were getting ready for?¡±

    ¡°Nothing of importance, but that¡¯s when I like to look my best!¡±

    Lizel let out a laugh, ¡°Well, I was coming by because I knew you were a witch and I had something you just absolutely needed to see.¡±

    ¡°Oh, no.¡± Azami looked past the lizardfolk to her garden, ¡°I¡¯m so sorry. I have to see this.¡±

    She walked past the man and stared down at two purple flowers. She bent down, still brushing her hair, ¡°Two bulbs. Do you see this? Two bulbs!¡±

    ¡°Y-yeas, Ma¡¯am. I see this. I don¡¯t know what that means.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you know your flowers?¡± Azami asked, ¡°This is a hydra-drangea. You¡¯re not supposed to cut the heads off willy-nilly; they¡¯ll grow two more. You don¡¯t keep up on it, then it¡¯ll start to grow like a weed.¡±

    ¡°I see eight bulbs.¡±

    ¡°Very astute, young man. Now I know for sure you can count to eight. The fact is that I started with one a week ago. That means somebody or something is taking my bulbs.¡±

    ¡°Ma¡¯am. I believe I have something that might fix your problem?¡±

    ¡°You might?¡±

    It was like that activated the lizardfolk. Lizel lifted his hands and braced in the middle of the garden, ¡°Yes! Let me get it from my bag.¡±

    He had the kind of drawl that lizard folk got. It was like their cold-bloodedness affected their speech. Everything took its sweet time. The lizard folk reached into his black bag and pulled out a purple tome.

    ¡®You see, I¡¯m selling the Dark Lord¡¯s Edition of the Necronomicon, and I figured since you was a witch-¡±

    ¡°Pass. Thank you for the offer.¡± Azami looked down at her garden again.

    ¡°I¡­ oh. Well, ma''am. It¡¯s a brand new edition with new spells and edicts. Said to be freshly printed right before his disappearance.¡±

    Azami smiled, ¡°I¡¯m sure it was. But no, thank you. Have a nice day.¡±

    The lizard stroked his forehead one more time, ¡°As you wish, miss. Sorry to bother.¡±

    Azami saw that this poor young lizard folk was dabbing his perspiring forehead with a well-soaked sweat rag. Azami let out a sigh.

    Lizel picked up his bag of books and began to walk out. He was so tired that he took a break right at the edge of Azami¡¯s property. He rested his case along the apple tree and took a breather.

    ¡°Young man?¡± Azami asked, ¡°Young man?¡±

    The lizardolk turned and covered his eyes from the beating sun. Azami rolled her eyes gently and called Swiff over. Swiff picked her up and flew her to the lizardfolk¡¯s spot in an instant. The cool wind from the broom felt like a tonic to the lizarfolk¡¯s wet skin.

    ¡°You look like you¡¯ve been walking all day, Mr. Fus. Would you like to come in from some sun tea?¡±

    ¡°Ma¡¯am, that¡¯d be awful kind of you. Thank you.¡±

    Azami turned her broom around and followed inside. Lizel followed her with the bag.

    ¡°Leave the bag,¡± Said Azami. She waved her wand, and the bag sprouted legs and walked behind Lizel.

    He walked inside her cozy cabin. Since it was hot outside, she had an icy fireplace. Instead of logs that were burning, three timbers covered in snow were cooling down the house. Azami waved her wand, and a pitcher with a miniature sun inside of it and glass bounced along the countertop and poured itself.

    ¡°I heard you was good.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t get topside much?¡± She asked.

    ¡°No, ma¡¯am. I¡¯m from a little burrow in the Underdark. Mostly just us lizardfolk.¡±

    ¡°Mr. Fus.¡±

    ¡°No, please. Just call me, Lizel, miss.¡±

    ¡°Lizel¡­ and please, call me Azami.

    ¡°Azami. We all hearda you in the Underdark. ¡®The Bog Witch.¡¯"

    Azami smiled, ¡°I do love my bog."

    ¡°You don¡¯t seem nasty like no witch I ever heard of.¡±

    Azami laughed, ¡°Not all witches are nasty. The ones that are¡­ they don¡¯t have enough hobbies.¡±

    The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

    ¡°Gardening is your hobby?¡±

    ¡°Gardening is my life.¡± Said Azami, ¡°Speaking of.¡± Azami got up and stepped out of the house without saying another word to Lizel. Lizel picked up the pitcher and watched her through the window. She got on her hands and knees and peered down into the garden.

    ¡°SON OF FEMALE WEREWOLF!¡± She banged at the ground.

    Lizel came rushing out of the house, ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±

    She revealed flowers she was perched in front of. They were red and white and lightly on fire.

    ¡°My flaming tulips. They¡¯re missing a bulb too. You know what this means, don¡¯t you?¡±

    She stood up.

    ¡°Uh, no. What does it mean?¡±

    ¡°Say, you¡¯re a tall, lanky boy. Would you be willing to do something for me?¡±

    ¡°S-sure. What is it?¡±

    And so, Lizel peered into a pitch black burrow, nestled in the ground under a tree. He tried to look in, but it was too black, even for his dark vision.

    ¡°You want me to check inside there?¡± He asked.

    ¡°Could you please? You¡¯re skinny enough for it. I¡¯d send my broom but, well, he doesn¡¯t have eyes.¡±

    Lizel looked at Azami¡¯s pleading face and nodded. He got down on his hands and knees and tucked his way inside the burrow. It was a tight squeeze, but he managed to shimmy further in. When he turned the corner of the cramped tunnel, he saw that the burrow opened up to a bigger room.

    In the center, a tiny goblet bubbled, and a little mammal with a spiny back and a large brimmed hat was plucking the flaming petals from the tulip and placing them in the goblet. A tiny smoke bloomed from the goblet, it entered Lizel¡¯s nose, and he sneezed.

    The hedgehog turned around and noticed Lizel.

    ¡°Yeeeowch!¡±

    <hr>

    Azami waved her wand, individually pulling the spines out of Lizel¡¯s face.

    ¡°Ahh!¡± Lizel said as Azami waved her wand again.

    ¡°Sorry about that. I had my suspicions, but now it¡¯s confirmed.¡±

    ¡°What was that thing?¡± Lizel asked.

    ¡°That¡¯s a hedgewitchhog. When a hedgehog makes its home near a witch, it eventually starts mimicking them. They¡¯re the ones who have been taking my hydra-drangeas.¡±

    ¡°And your Flaming Tulips. Ouch.¡±

    Azami plucked another spike out of Lizel, ¡°And my black marigolds.¡±

    ¡°So¡­ how do you plan on getting rid of the thing? We get these possums in the underdark when we leave trash out. What we do is-¡±

    ¡°Get rid of!?¡± Azami looked offended, ¡°They have just as much right to their home as I do to mine. No. I don¡¯t want to get rid of them. If they start mixing potions wrong, it could blow up this side of the Fierce Forest. Not to mention having some respect for my garden.¡±

    ¡°So what do ya plan to do?¡±

    Azami smiled, ¡°I plan to teach them.¡±

    <hr>

    Azami turned around, she was wearing her white overcoat and goggles. She held out her hands, and her gloves magically came on.

    The hedgewitchhog stared up at her with big eyes.

    ¡°Now!¡± Azami said.

    Lizel sat in the corner of the cabin, feeling a lot cooler having been in Azami¡¯s cabin for an hour now. He poured himself another glass of Azami¡¯s sun tea. The mini sun inside the pitcher gently rolled to the bottom as he filled his glass. He was fitting to leave but decided to stay for the free alchemy lesson.

    The hedgewitchhog had its goblet over a tiny campfire on Azami¡¯s counter.

    ¡°Okay!¡± Azami said, ¡°Let¡¯s make a simple health potion. Take your powdered newt snoot. And put a dash into your goblet.¡±

    The little critter wrapped its two arms around the powdered vial and poured it into the goblet.

    ¡°Mix that in. As that cooks, mash your lavendwarfs with your black marigold petals."

    The hedgehog picked up their pestle and smashed the petals with the mortar until they were smashed up.

    ¡°Now, once the newt snoot is up to a boil, mix in the powder and drip in the hibiscus syrup for the red color.¡±

    The hedgehog did exactly that. ¡°And stir.¡± Azami waved her wand, and the stirring happened on its own, ¡°You¡¯re allowed to cheat.¡±

    The hedgewitchhog took out its branch and flicked it like a wand.

    The whisk did not move on its own. Azami twirled her wand, ¡°You¡¯ll get there.¡±

    After ten more minutes, the liquid was reduced to a boil, and what was left was a dark red health potion.

    ¡°Now, we bottle this. There we go. And hand it to Lizel.¡± Once Azami finished bottling it, she handed it to the critter. The vial was half its body size. The hedgehog was leaning back, waddling to the other end of the counter where Lizel received it.

    ¡°Thank you, kindly.¡± Said Lizel as he grabbed the vial and drank it. He felt the tiny holes made by the hedgehog close up, the pain slowly disappearing. He grabbed his face, ¡°Wow! It worked great!¡±

    ¡°There we go!¡± She looked at her new pupil, ¡°Now, I want you to come to me if there¡¯s ever anything you want to know about recipes or potions or magic¡­ come to me. But if I¡¯m not available¡­ maybe there¡¯s some kind of guide you can buy.¡±

    Azami smiled as she looked at Lizel, who had a dumb smile on his face, ¡°What¡¯s the guide?¡± He asked.

    Azami¡¯s smile dropped, ¡°Your book, dummy.¡±

    ¡°Oh!¡± He reached into his bag and pulled out the Dark Lord¡¯s Necronomicon. ¡°You got money, little one?¡±

    <hr>

    Lizel looked at the bushels of berries the hedgewitchhog used to pay instead of money, ¡°It ain¡¯t much, but it¡¯s a living.¡± He placed it in his black bag. The sun had begun to set.

    ¡°Thank you for the help today!¡± Azami said.

    ¡°Are you kidding? Thank you!¡±

    ¡°Well, I should get to bed. I¡¯ve got a lot of books to read.¡±

    Lizel smiled and waggled the book in his hand, ¡°I got a book you could read.¡±

    Azami shook her head and rolled her eyes.

    ¡°It¡¯s not just potions! It¡¯s scriptures from the Dark Lord¡¯s teachings.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve heard enough from him.¡± Said Azami, waving her hand.

    ¡°Y¡¯all were friends, weren¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Good friends."

    ¡°Do you miss him?"

    Azami shook her head, ¡°He¡¯ll be back.¡±

    ¡°You know that for a fact?¡±

    Azami nodded her head, ¡°Yeah. I¡¯ve got faith.¡±

 Ch. 38: Zeke Arrives

    Despite what peoples¡¯ preconceptions of minotaurs were, a lot of them were not aggressive like bulls.  Their well built muscles came from a largely plant diet.  Their size was a direct result of their time on the planes, where they were able to grow large with an abundance of food.  They gathered in herds and while there were often territory disputes, not many of them turned violent.

    For the first fourteen years of Zeke¡¯s life, he was content.  Minotaur matured physically faster than most humanoid.  It wasn¡¯t long before Zeke¡¯s muscles came in.  Just in time too.

    The peaceful minotaur clan had an unforeseen enemy just beyond the Plains.  The Ulmund population had been growing steadily for a number of years.  Their people needed more room.  Which meant bigger cities¡­ which meant bigger farmlands.  They were given, what the Ulmun thought was a fair warning.  A slip of paper stating the Ulmund Kingdom¡¯s intention to seize the land within a matter of two weeks.  Giving the minotaur herd ample time to collect their things and leave the homeland they¡¯d known their whole lives.  Some of these papers even got delivered.   The Ulmun were not polite to those that stayed.  The minotaur were greatly outnumbered.  Some, like Zeke, escaped.  Some, like the rest of his clan, were caught.  Those that were caught¡­ Zeke didn''t like to think about them.

    Zeke was aimless and ambled for as long as his empty stomach would carry him.  He didn¡¯t bother to look back, too scared he¡¯d see a horde of Ulmun with nets.  After his exhaustion slowed him to a stop, an army troupe the likes of which he¡¯d never seen found him.  A platoon of monsters, demihumans, and sapients all working together under the crackshot leadership of a demon tiger Lieutenant.

    They picked him up and escorted him to the Dark Lord''s Domain.  Zeke was treated well on day one.  Practically welcomed in as a hero.  He was given a place to sleep with other displaced heavies in a converted barn.  They told him he was the first minotaur they had ever had.  They explained the rules of the community to Zeke, how he would need to pull his weight.  His strength allowed him to work in construction on the nearby topside town.

    Zeke didn¡¯t speak much when he first arrived.  Was he unhappy?  Distraught?  If you were to directly ask the young Zeke if he was unhappy he could no longer see his mother, he would say that it was impossible to say that.  He would, however, say he was unhappy he could not see his mother at that moment.  If he was asked what were the chances of his father having survived, considering he was one of the few warriors in the minotaur herd, Zeke would likely say he was not good at numbers, and then stick up anywhere between one to ten fingers.

    Zeke was at a diner with the lieutenant who saved him. A Rakshasa with a big jagged scar along his eye and an eye patch to cover it up.  His glorious black mullet hung behind him.  He was a surly bloke by the name of Bodhi.

    ¡°You haven¡¯t quite found this place to be home yet, have you?¡± Bodhi asked.

    Zeke ate his eggs, saying very little.  He was on his fourth plate and was asking for another.

    ¡°You look a lot better than when I first found you.¡± Said Bodhi, ¡°Starving.  Bones.  Now, you¡¯re plump.  Lord, the state of you.  Nobody should live like that.  Nobody.¡±

    Zeke sat curtly, his arms crossed and resting on the table.  He let out a timid sigh as he tried to tune out Bodhi and his feelings.

    ¡°I¡¯m glad you¡¯re safe is all,¡± Bodhi said as he scarfed down his eggs and stuffed himself with pancakes.  He drank black coffee to wash it down, ¡°I¡¯ve seen war. Child.  I¡¯ve seen it.  I¡¯ve¡­ I¡¯ve dealt my hand in it.  Shames me to say.  Necessary evil and that sort of thing.  But damn.  Damn it!¡± Bodhi slammed the table with his fist so much it startled Zeke, ¡°Damn it if that shouldn¡¯t happen to any innocent darkfolk.  That¡¯s what this place is supposed to be.  It¡¯s supposed to be paradise.  But who do you think protects it?¡±

    Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    ¡°More eggs please,¡± Zeke said.

    ¡°Well, anyway. You¡¯re safe, is all I¡¯m saying.  Safe and well.  Hardly touched your fourth plate of eggs.¡±

    Bodhi reached over and pierced the eggs with his fork, attempting to grasp it.  The fork instead, permeated the membrane of the yolk and it ran all over Zeke¡¯s plate.

    ¡°Tell you what, boy.  You take your time.  I know it¡¯s only been a few months but I¡¯ve heard from some of the people that you¡¯re really fitting in here.  We¡¯ll find a place for you soon, kiddo.  Fierce Forest is sort of a starter for all our monsters.  But¡­ you¡¯re going to get bigger.   And you¡¯ll thrive soon.  Understood?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°Yes, sir,¡±

    ¡°Yes, sir.¡± Said Zeke. the general looked up at him with a mouth full of eggs and smiled while still chewing.

    ¡°While you¡¯re here, play some games.  Take up a hobby.  Don¡¯t think I forgot you¡¯re still a kid.¡±

    Bodhi checked in on Zeke, but it wasn¡¯t long before duty called him elsewhere.

    Zeke was suddenly alone.  He did his job, but there were no minotaurs around.  He was friendly with his bunkmates, but didn¡¯t speak to them much.

    Zeke laid on his bed once, ruminating on the slats of wood that made up the top bunk.

    ¡°Zeke?¡±  he heard the gruff voice of his of his bunkmate.

    ¡°Mm.¡± Zeke responded.

    ¡°You here?¡±  His roommate¡¯s head poked over the top punk.  He was a bearfolk.  Polar Bear.  He looked down at Zeke from his bed.

    ¡°They¡¯re going to place me.  Sixth floor.  I¡¯m getting a home and a job.¡±

    Zeke turned back, and looked up at the bearfolk, ¡°That¡¯s great, Arc.¡±

    Arc had a long smile on his face, ¡°Isn¡¯t it?  Guess I¡¯m a ¡®tank.¡¯  And they could use more of those down there.  Plus the cold.¡±

    Zeke nodded his head, ¡°Right.  Perfect place for you.¡±

    ¡°Hey, it¡¯ll happen for you, buddy.¡±

    Zeke smiled, his eyes welling, ¡°I¡¯m happy for you, Arc.  Congrats.¡±

    ¡°I start tomorrow.¡±  Said Arc.  He lifted his head up and went back to sleep.

    ¡°Oh!¡± Arc said, ¡°By the way, there¡¯s a package for you in the mailbox.¡±

    Zeke got out of bed and checked the inside of the mailbox.  There was a package, wrapped poorly with paper.  He saw that written lazily in quill was the name ¡®Bohdi.¡¯

    He tore it open.  He found a fishing rod.  And a note that said, ¡°Like I said, you¡¯re still a kid..  When I was still a kid¡­ I went fishing.  Still do. - Bohdi.¡±

    The minotaur saw two poles and a groove where the string was supposed to go, as well as a spool of string.  He connected the two sticks together, and twisted them.  They were made of the same bamboo, just cut and deconstructed so they¡¯d be easier to pack.  Zeke bent it in his palm. There was a lot of give to it but he felt like it would snap off at any second.  He walked outside and headed toward Lethal Lake.  Somewhere along Baleful Bay, he found a rock that was slanted enough to use as a seat.  He set up the fishing rod, now spooled with twine, and used a hook.  He attempted to string the wire through the tiny hole in the hook, closing one eye to concentrate on it.  After much struggling, he managed to thread the needle.  He sat down. and cast his line.

    That day he caught nothing. Admittedly, he only spent about fifteen minutes there before getting bored.  He came back the next day after his job, intent on trying it again.  He tossed his line, waited, and just as he was about to call the hobby stupid, he got a bite.  The fish fought back, but Zeke¡¯s muscles were too strong.  He pulled hard, bending the rod tremendously and pulling in a young rainbow trout.

    Day after day he would return, eager to catch something else.  There was something about waiting for the fish to bite that helped clear his head.

    One day, a big sturgeon hooked itself onto Zeke¡¯s line.  Zeke planted his feet on the ground and pulled back, going toe to toe with the beast.  The bamboo rod pointed and bent every way as the fish attempted to get away with the bait.  Zeke was holding firm, but he could begin to hear creaking from the rod.  He stared at it, the only token he had of the person who saved his life, and cut the line.  The big beast escaped into the murky lake as Zeke wiped the sweat off his brow.

    ¡°No fair!¡±  He heard a shrill cry behind him.  He looked out into the trees, the voice called out again, ¡°I¡¯m serious guys!  Where are you guys!  This isn¡¯t funny!  I¡¯m going to tell mum!¡±

    Zeke turned to look, when a tiny dark-red baby kobold waddled through the treeline.

    Zeke stared at Baby Kip.  Baby Kip stared back.  And Baby Kip began to cry.

 Ch 39: Kip and Zekes First Game Of Tag

    ¡°Woah.¡± Zeke looked at Lil Kip breaking down. Zeke raised his hands as he said, ¡°Don¡¯t cry.¡±

    Lil Kip did not respond well to the large minotaur approaching him and cried more, running behind a tree to hide. Zeke looked up at him, ¡°Fine. Keep crying for all I care.¡±

    Zeke waved his hands and went back to the fishing spot. He sat down and picked up his fishing rod, taking the hook and casting it out again. He tried to enjoy the peace and quiet of this day but behind all that noise was sniffling.

    Sniffling, and a child kobold trying very hard, but failing, at not crying. Zeke waited restlessly for the moment to pass. He said to Kip, ¡°You¡¯re scaring all the fish!¡±

    Kip quieted for a moment, then resumed his sniffling, now sad that his sniffling was also making the fish sad. Zeke suddenly got a pull. He reeled his line back in but all that came with it was a one-toed shoe. Zeke sighed, hoping he could still recover the hook from the leather. He attempted to wiggle it out, attempting to free the barb. He pressed his thumb into the top barb and pushed.

    Kip was settling in behind the tree, wondering where his brothers had gone. Had they really abandoned him? Or were they just continuing to look for him? He was rattled by the enormous shriek of a minotaur that rang out from the other side of the tree. Kip leapt and scurried around in a circle before confirming his hiding place behind the tree. He poked his head out. Zeke was standing there, gripping his thumb. Kip could see the hook through Zeke¡¯s thumb, the barb coming from the other side. Blood was gushing out. Kip hid behind the tree again. He searched through his little satchel, then came out an approached Zeke.

    ¡°Come to finish me when I¡¯m weak?¡± Zeke asked. Lil Kip waddled up to Zeke and stuck his hands out, beckoning for Zeke¡¯s finger. Zeke presented it. Kip looked down at it, studied it. He approached with a mini wire cutter and snapped the barb off, then he looped the barbless hook through the wound again. Now that Zeke¡¯s thumb was hook free, he was able to take a bit of rag and wrap it around the beast¡¯s thumb. The problem had been solved.

    Zeke felt relieved, ¡°Good job. Thank you.¡±

    Kip beamed while looking up at Zeke.

    ¡°So¡­ where are you from?¡±

    Kip didn¡¯t say anything, merely looking up with his large eyes. The minotaur reached into his basket and handed Kip a fish, ¡°Here you go. As a thank you.¡±

    Kip grabbed the fish and placed the whole thing in his mouth, attempting to swallow it and instead choking.

    ¡°Glahghahahggha!¡± Shouted Kip as the fish wiggled in his tiny throat.

    ¡°You¡¯re not supposed to eat it whole! Said Zeke as he slapped Lil Kip¡¯s back hard. The fish shot out of Kip¡¯s mouth as he fell forward. ¡°Look at you. You¡¯re absolutely defenseless.¡± Said Zeke.

    Lil Kip stared up at him, not saying a word.

    ¡°Let¡¯s get you home.¡± Said Zeke, ¡°I think I know where the Kobold encampment is.¡±

    A young Zeke and a younger, tinier, Kip walked home. Occasionally, Kip¡¯s tiny legs would fall behind so he would waddle faster to keep up. Zeke took them to his best approximation of where the kobold encampment was. He got close to town and was pointed to the labyrinth which was across the bridge. They reached an impasse with the bridge troll, explaining that Zeke was too new to know the password and did not understand riddles. Zeke got so heated that he threatened to pummel the bridge troll. The bridge troll took out knives but someone else was there and Zeke explained the situation to him. That someone else shared the password and they were on their way.

    Zeke and Kip walked home, eventually Kip¡¯s little legs got tired so Zeke hoisted him on his shoulders for the rest of the way. Deep in the labyrinth was the barracks, and those barracks housed Kip¡¯s kobold family. All the brothers ran around playing and Kip instantly ran over to his mother, no longer tired from resting on Zeke¡¯s shoulders. Kip¡¯s mother thanked Zeke profusely for the help. Zeke said it was no problem and then made his way back to the barn he slept in. It was dark by the time he made it to the barn. He crashed on his hay mat.

    The next day, Zeke was back after work in his fishing spot. There was a tree that always provided him shade. He reached into the tree¡¯s hollow but his hand came up empty. Zeke¡¯s face turned worried as he reached his arm farther in and checked again, ¡°Did someone steal my¡­¡± Zeke began to panic. This was a present from Bodhi, and he hadn¡¯t heard from him in weeks. It was not lost on him that Bodhi could be dead. Zeke started to tramp around the entire tree, then checked other trees in case he¡¯d made a mistake.

    Zeke¡¯s frantic search was broken by a squeak that caught his attention. He turned and saw Lil Kip still standing there.

    This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

    ¡°Don¡¯t tell me you¡¯re lost again.¡± Said Zeke, ¡°Look, I¡¯m a little busy right now, I don¡¯t have time to help, I¡¯m looking for my fishing pole.¡±

    Kip showed Zeke what he was hiding behind his back. The fishing pole. Zeke snatched it out of Kip¡¯s hands. He examined it to make sure it was in good condition. Upon inspection, Zeke realized it was different. There was a third piece of tubing where the two sticks connected. Zeke bent the rod, it was still pliable, but reinforced. Then he looked at the gizmo that Kip had placed above the handle of the rod. It was a mechanism that kept the spool of fishing line close. He threw the line and it would twirl, feeding more line.

    ¡°What is this?¡±

    To Zeke¡¯s surprise, Kip spoke, ¡°I used another pipe to give the fishing pole more strength. Now you can catch bigger fish. And since bigger fish are in deeper waters, I made something that let you cast out your line. It lets you throw the line farther, then you can lock it just like this and it¡¯ll stay at that length.¡±

    ¡°This is gre-¡±

    ¡°I took the idea from the cranks that power the moat. It was really easy once I found the right part that-¡±

    Kip had barely said a word to him yesterday, but for the next hour or so, the little kobold would not shut up. Zeke sat back down on the fishing rock of his as Kip demonstrated how to toss the line. Zeke turned the lock of the spool off, gave himself some extra line and tossed it as far as he could. The line went far enough to wade into the deep end, and Zeke made sure to string a piece of oyster innards inside of it, lots to catch a big fish. Zeke started out at the line that had sunk to the bottom part of the deep. He let Kip¡¯s constant yapping wash over him as he waited patiently, now drowning out what young Kip was saying.

    There was a tug. A large one. Zeke grabbed and pulled, ¡°Holy heck!¡± Zeke yelled, ¡°We got a live one!¡±

    The rod bent tremendously but the reinforced tubing allowed Zeke to hold court with the fish, twisting his body as he and pulling the rod, allowing some give, and pulling again. Kip joined in, grabbing Zeke¡¯s shin and helping pull with all his might. Zeke looked down and smiled at Kip, laughing at the boldness. Zeke was able to pull in a double-decker daggertooth. One of the biggest the lake had ever produced. It wriggled on his line. He cut it and broke its neck. Having a successful kill.

    ¡°Hey! We did it, buddy!¡± Zeke said as he stuck his hand up. Kip smacked his hand in response, ¡°Since you helped, what say I give you a piece of this?¡± He took a cleaver and sliced it in half in one stroke. He handed it to Kip.

    ¡°Now, that¡¯s still a big piece so be car-¡±

    ¡°Glahghahahggha!¡± Kip was once again choking from having shoved too much in his mouth at once. Zeke rolled his eyes, this time with a smile and patted Kip so hard he stopped choking.

    ¡°Thank you, sir.¡± Said Kip politely. He started chewing on the ends of his raw fish.

    ¡°Sir was my dad¡¯s name. And even then, it wasn¡¯t his name, it was just what I called him. You can call me Zeke.¡±

    ¡°Zeke.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡±

    ¡°Kip.¡±

    ¡°Nice to officially meet you, Kip,¡± Said Zeke.

    ¡°Nice to meet you, Zeke.¡± Said Kip.

    ¡°Kip, Why were you lost here yesterday? What happened?¡±

    Kip looked down, sad, ¡°I guess I was playing Hide and Seek with all of my brothers. I guess they left or whatever because they were all back at the house when you walked me to mom. I don¡¯t know, I guess they forgot or something.¡±

    Zeke nodded as he listened to the little twerp ramble on and on. Then Kip looked up at him and said, ¡°Sorry.¡± for no reason.

    Zeke reached down and petted Kip, ¡°Guess you¡¯re pretty good at hiding, hu, Lil Guy?¡±

    Kip smiled. He nodded his head.

    ¡°Prove it?¡±

    They became friends after that day. Kip and Zeke¡¯s favorite game was hide-and-seek tag. Zeke stored his pole back in the hollow of the tree, but mostly would spend most of his time playing. Fishing became second to hide and seek. They would go around the different parts of the forest. If Kip¡¯s mother allowed it, would even try some of the different floors. Kip was available as long as they made it back by sundown. They played most in the labyrinth, Kip¡¯s favorite role was the hider. Zeke¡¯s favorite role was the seeker.

    Once every two weeks, there would be a section of the labyrinth closed off to intruders for the farmer¡¯s market. They would turn the interlocked walls so that instead of being able to pass through, there would be extra dead ends to create a temporary plaza for the market. Kip¡¯s mother liked to get cheap fruits and vegetables from other floors. She let her all her kids roam free, but Kip and Zeke were playing a vicious game of tag.

    Zeke barreled through the markets, turning at corners and peeking through stalls. He looked through a cart that sold icicle carrots, where he saw the earthen-red squat tail of Kip under the tarp of a fortune teller who could predict what creature you were in another life. Zeke smiled. He crept down as low as he could, and crawled on all fours as he approached. His horns were just high enough to sweep the icicle carrots off their shelf. They shattered as they hit the floor, almost giving Zeke away. Zeke noticed that the wriggling tail didn¡¯t move. He reached out and pulled it, screaming, ¡°Boo!¡±

    But he looked at it, strangely. It was¡­ just the tail. The tail was still wriggling but it was attached to a mechanical ball. He looked at it out of curiosity when he heard Kiip behind him.

    ¡°Ha-Ha!¡± Kip said, pointing, ¡°Tail Bomb!¡± And turned tail (the real one) and ran away.

    Zeke laughed as he chased after Kip, ¡°It¡¯s not a bomb if it doesn¡¯t explode, dummy!¡± Zeke said as he ran after Kip. Unfortunately, Kip evaded his grasp again in the market. He looked around, checking under carts and tables and even asking if he could peek inside people¡¯s wagons.

    Smiling, ¡°He brought his a-game today,¡± Zeke said. He turned the corner and bumped into Bodhi, holding his helmet in one hand, ¡°I was told you were making a ruckus here.¡± Said Bodhi.

    ¡°Bodhi!¡± Zeke, ¡°It¡¯s an honor, sir.¡±

    ¡°How about you salute when talking to a lieutenant in the Dark Lord¡¯s army, son?¡±

    Zeke saluted, but Bodhi waved his hand to dismiss it. Zeke hugged Bodhi, ¡°What are you doing here, sir?¡±

    ¡°I came to see you, Zeke,¡± Said Bodhi, ¡°Were it peace time, I¡¯d take you for eggs again. But today, I¡¯m afraid not.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean, sir?¡± Zeke asked.

    Bodhi let out a long breath, ¡°It¡¯s the war, son. Pack your bags, we need your strength.¡±