《Blind Leading the Blind》 Why would my beginnings be humble?

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author. Onto The Next Stage Chapter 002 On to a new stage First day ¡°Oooh no no no no why did I turn down my boon?¡± Diogenes said fist pressed against his forehead. ¡°I did not do that, there¡¯s no way, I wouldn¡¯t.¡± ¡°Shiiit, did you forget after you ran away and fainted in the hall? Sorry about everything by the way, I know that was a lot all at once, but just stick with me and you¡¯ll understand.¡± Said Aidos. ¡°Oh my ¡­ gods, you¡¯re here, when did you get here?¡± ¡°I¡¯ve been here the whole time. I followed your idiot manager, Narcissus, when he drove you back.¡± ¡°How do you even know Narcissus?¡± ¡°We go way b-¡° ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter use your godly powers and give me a boon to fix it like it never happened; That was the fucking like the cumulation of all my hard work fix it!¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry I can¡¯t first of all ¡°god¡± and ¡°boon¡± are human terms we call ourselves concepts and we can grant you commitments.¡± ¡°Ok, and Midwesterners call soda, pop it¡¯s the same shit just give me a commitment or whatever you called it!¡± ¡°I would¡¯ve if I could, but that¡¯s not even how commitments work, I wasn¡¯t able to just give you anything. Please can you try not to be ungrateful I can you the last bits I have.¡± ¡°What are you even talking about? what did you give me?¡± ¡°My commitment, that¡¯s why you can see the truth now.¡± ¡°I cannot believe you think that¡¯s a gift!¡± ¡°Ok I know that parts not much of a gift right now but there are other aspects to my commitments, like you¡¯re now able to take the abilities of the monsters and Concepts oh, and the more you sacrifice the stronger those abilities will get so it''s not all bad.¡± Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. ¡°Kill.¡± Yeah, I¡¯m not doing that. I still need to do my work.¡± ¡°Again, I¡¯m sorry but there is no way you can do that anymore. They¡¯d never allow it after that display you put on.¡± ¡°Oh, my gods your right why didn¡¯t I realize that right when I finally made it to fuck!¡± ¡°Look on the bright side, though it''s like this when I gave up my concept hood, Wisdom told me, In order to scale the next mountain, you must first venture down the one you¡¯re already on.¡± ¡°You gave up your godhood! I¡¯m not doing anything like that or whatever ¡°sacrificing¡± you were talking about. Diogenes completely denied Aidos. A month and a half later Diogenes paced back and forth in his room occasionally trashing against the walls as if he was trying to keep them from collapsing in on him. ¡°Why the hell did you give me this ¡°commitment¡± I¡¯m fucked I have nothing to live for anymore I don¡¯t have shit!¡± Diogenes screamed at Aidos, his voice shaking in anger ¡°To be honest, I¡¯ve been watching them for a long time,e and when I saw someone deny their ''boons¡± for the first time, I jumped the gun and immediately formed a commitment with you,¡± Aidos stated in her typical overly blunt style. ¡°Again, I didn¡¯t even do anything, I was just mad, I still want that boon! I am so sick of people pitying me by giving me shit I haven¡¯t earned, and you know what at least Mitas Knows he¡¯s a dick you think you¡¯re being nice; pity is just judgment people praise themselves for!¡± ¡°Hey, man, I''d never look down on you. All people are equal. I''d give them all commitments if I could. But hey, if you want something to work towards again, you can help me and everyone who lives in Athena by defeating Nyarlathotep. Oh, he¡¯s the one who killed the other concepts from my home Grekromia.¡± ¡°Damnit, Is that my only option now. I¡¯ll think about it¡± Diogenes stopped mid-beating off his wall. ¡°Thank you so much, hey off topic but do you think you¡¯re so insecure cause they gave you Stew as a stage name?¡± ¡°Fuck you¡± Two months later ¡°Ok, I figured out what I¡¯m gonna do, I''ll help you get rid of Mitas since he¡¯s the one who has a problem with me.¡± Diogenes compromised ¡°Thank you, really, but once Mitas is gone, I¡¯ll ask you to help again.¡± ¡°Ha, maybe if you paid me.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t have any money, but I have a ¡°Good job¡± sticker I can give you.¡± ¡°Hmph, ok yeaah sure I''ll kill a god for that.¡± Does he think I¡¯m joking? Nah, I didn¡¯t use my sarcastic tone. Adias questioned briefly. ¡°Well, since you''re going to help now, you should know who your allies and enemies are I''ll start by telling you about the leader of the group you¡¯ll assemble.¡± ¡°Trust me, I¡¯m very familiar with myself.¡± ¡°Her name is Robin Hood.¡± ¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ª- Robin hoods origins Twelve men huddled around a stone with something vaguely resembling a sword protruding from the top as they waved to a college-age woman to join them. ¡°Robin come help us!¡± ¡°Aren¡¯t you all tired of wasting your time? We¡¯ve all tried pulling on that stupid thing before.¡± Robin laughed dismissively as he joined them. ¡°Cmon you aren¡¯t quitting on us now, are you? We have to make a change somehow, we need a savior to pull the sword, only then will Locksley¡¯s god of justice listen to us.¡± A bulky man asked hurt by Robins mocking. ¡°Relax Andre I¡¯m not saying six eyes isn¡¯t a problem but wanking this rock makes you just as stupid as his believers. You know the other ladies have started talking, they think it¡¯s a phallic thing.¡± ¡°What does phallic mean?¡± Andre asked ¡°To be honest, they think it¡¯s some weird sex thing.¡± ¡°What, even Shelly!¡± ¡°I mean yeah not that really matters she¡¯s married man you missed your chance a long time ago.¡± ¡°It''s not my fault, none of the flower salesmen in this stupid town were good enough, maybe if we lived in the city, it would¡¯ve worked out!¡± ¡°Uh huh, that¡¯s totally the issue; hey, does her husband live in the city?¡± ¡°No. But if he di,d Shelly and I would totally be a thing.¡± Before Robin could continue her mockery, a red-headed man with the most bullish muttonchops strutted up to them, hands in his pockets knees wide like he was roleplaying a cowboy. ¡°Hey! Can y¡¯all just stop it already?¡± The redheaded man called out as he walked up. ¡°Oh, if it isn¡¯t Six Eyes¡¯s biggest fanboy.¡± Robin grinned ¡°I¡¯m not a ''fanboy, '' I¡¯m just smart enough to understand checks and balances.¡± ¡°You¡¯re kidding, right? Even you¡¯re not stupid enough to actually believe that! His only ¡°checks and balances are his heads.¡± ¡°Hey, the man that¡¯s ignor¡¯int, we don¡¯t know they¡¯re the same god. ¡°I am so sick of this conversation, I¡¯m pretty sure our grandparents had the same conversation! Even if their different gods their interests align.¡± ¡°You¡¯re just being clinical.¡± ¡°Cynical, and you¡¯d know that if he¡¯d stop slashing the education budget.¡± Hey! He¡¯s funding self-education, and you¡¯d know that if you¡¯d attend a town hall for once in your life!¡± He said with his finger stuck in Robin''s face. ¡°Fine. C¡¯mon, guys, let''s go to the circus.¡± ¡°All the men shifted uncomfortably before Andre squeaked out, ¡°Sorry Robi,n we¡¯d come but we really outta try pulling the sword out some more. Tommy¡± Andre gestured to the shortest of them. ¡®Can you take this pamphlet and recruit more pullers? '' Tommy grabbed the pamphlet before striding off, self-satisfied. ¡°I don¡¯t know why I talk to you. C''mon, sheriff, let''s go.¡± The walk to the town hall was quiet, say for the snide remarks exchanged between Robin and the Sheriff. It was a calm week in town, everyone was recovering from the heated ¡°debates¡± the week before by either secluding themselves selves to their rooms and screens or a few bought refuges in the hospital. The silence of their stroll was broken when they reached the town hall, which had a clock tower lazily glued to the top leaning counterclockwise, gravity forcing the clock hands to lag. Once inside they were greeted with the familiar sight of six rows divided in the middle the right were adorned in the red cloak, they always wore strangely the left also joined in this color palette. The only thing preventing them from blending together was a thin walkway that led up to a pale muscular god with three arms with matching heads. His only clothing was a brown loincloth, and a wig made of white goat fur spread across his three heads. Robin and the Sheriff divided themselves, Robin to the left of the room and the sheriff to the right. ¡°Psst, why are you all dressed like the others?¡± Robin whispered ¡°We¡¯re protesting this is pink, not red, now please shut up and be respectful!¡± Said one of the cloaked men as the men on the right cracked open beers in excitement for the meeting. ¡°Attention first on the docket is to create the docket.¡± Six-eyed calmly declared while placing tiny glasses on his middle head. ¡°Yes, honored one, I have a few suggestions if I may.¡± Spoke one of the cloaked men ¡°Don¡¯t get ahead of yourself, we can¡¯t work on the docket until we¡¯ve completed it.¡± Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon. Without question, all the robed men turned around to leave, bumping shoulders with Robin on their way out. ¡°Come with us, you must have faith in the system.¡± Said the robed men to a stunned Robin ¡°No, we need to press him on this or nothing will ever cha-¡± Suddenly a loud fart belched throughout the Town Hall blowing up the god''s loin cloth and knocking off his wig. The sudden loud noise stopped all the cloaked men in their tracks before anyone could reach the door. ¡°Did the god just fart?¡± The cloaked men murmured ¡°No, he did not; we¡¯ve conducted a long and thorough investigation and concluded it was someone on the left side of the room, and claiming otherwise is an insult to our justice system and by proxy our nation.¡± Stated the god¡¯s side heads. ¡°Yeah, yeah, he¡¯s right, I heard it come from the left.¡± One cloaked man piped up before another yelled ¡°Damn rude farting idiots!¡± Unexpectedly before even Robin could speak up their Sheriff''s gruff voice cut through the crowd ¡°Goddamn¡¯t what are we talking about who cares!¡± Before he strutted over to join Robin. The tone of the room evolved after these two who were fundamentally opposed stood with each other, others followed their example mingling with each other hesitantly discussing the problems with their town amongst themselves and questioning the purpose of the god. ¡°Hey, we¡¯re gonna stay and talk out the problems, are you in or out?¡± Robin pressed the God Calmly, the God took off his glasses. ¡°If that¡¯s how you all truly feel, then fine, discuss. In fact, since we have a vast many things to discuss, I will slow the time in the town hall till we can all reach a consensus without having to waste any of our real time.¡± Thankful they all got to discuss important topics in their town, occasionally arguments would break out ultimately though they were squashed by the group consensus to keep things civil. After ten hours they settled in and took off their cloaks some even went to leave due to them being tired or missing their family. Only to find the door was locked. ¡°No, you can¡¯t, we haven¡¯t finished. Everyone needs to be in agreement on everything, and then you all can leave. Oh, and I forgot to mention I did everyone the favor of speeding up the rest of the town''s time so they can see you sooner.¡± Suddenly speaking in unison Everyone protested, saying that it would take an eternity. ¡°Then, may I suggest that you cull your numbers? Only then will this fever you all have break.¡± ¡°What are you talking about?!¡± Robin shouted at the god ¡°My apologies, you are right, it would be barbaric if you all fought to the death¡­ unarmed.¡± With a snap of each of his hands, dull daggers appeared in everyone¡¯s hands. Before Robin could even register the situation, she was in, blood was being whipped across her face. When she turned to see where it had come from, she was greeted by the sight of a man struggling to pull his knife out of the side of his friend¡¯s throat before getting his skull bashed in by the hilt of a knife. The knives were still in him. Where did that blood come from? Either luck or instinct, Robin stepped back narrowly, dodging a swipe from a knife of a person who immediately after slipped on his cloak and stabbed himself. With her back pressed up against a wall, Robin felt safe enough to scan her environment, still, it was too hectic for her to figure out what was happening entirely. Something red flew into her peripheral hitting her in the right shoulder, but it was different this time it wasn¡¯t a splash but a thud. Her head ticked to the right, and her eyes widened as she saw the Sheriff''s head pressed against her shoulder with a knife lodged in his ear. Startled, she leaped to the side, letting him fall to the ground. Shit! Sheriff Errol, I¡¯m so sorry why¡¯d this happen? Without thought Robin scream out in a raspy voice ¡°Stop it we don¡¯t have to do this to each other let¡¯s kill that fucking god!¡± Suddenly, everyone stopped fighting. ¡°Thank you now let''s fucking get him.¡± ¡°Where¡¯d she get that bow?¡± Now, what are they talking about? she thought before looking down at her left hand, suddenly holding a golden bow. They¡¯re gonna throw a knife at me from the left. Robin ducked the incoming knife, letting it stab an attacker from her right. How''d I know that was gonna happen? she thought as she flowed through the fight, stabbing and elbowing when needed until eventually it was just her and one other person. ¡°We don¡¯t have to do this, it''s just us left, all we have to do is agree.¡± She pleaded Unfazed by her pleading, the man huffed forward, out of breath, pulling his knife up and preparing to strike. He¡¯ll attack to the left. She dodged to the right, elbowed down onto his striking arm, and grabbed his knife all with her right, then she crossed over with her left and, using his momentum grabbed the back of his head pulling it into the newly stolen knife. His now-dead body fell to his knees before flopping onto his side. Robin didn¡¯t have long to catch her breath before God started clapping with all his hands. ¡°Congrats, you may leave now.¡± The doors swung open, tingling Robin''s back with the sun''s rays. ¡°No.¡± ¡°What are you going to do? I don¡¯t see any arrows with that bow?¡± Silently, Robin fiddled with something behind her back before quickly drawing her bow, she had been cutting a groove into her original knife with one she stole. The god didn¡¯t bother to move as the knife came soaring towards him. Right when the blade''s tip met his chest, it transformed into an arrow and cut into him. ¡°What the hell! How did you get a bow? Who do you have a commitment to?¡± Commitment? He¡¯s going to try and break the lights, why? Nyarlathotep. A voice spoke to her. Still not knowing what this meant, Robin decided it was best to stop the God. Shooting an arrow from her newly formed quiver, she manages to pin the God''s hand to the ceiling. The god bleached out in pain. I need to finish this now or I¡¯m going To die. Without hesitation, she fired the finishing blow into the center head, killing the god. Robin dropped to her knees, exhausted, gasping for breath like a swimmer who just broke from the water. Her quiver and bow disappeared while she caught her breath. Once she was ready to get up, her bow reappeared, allowing her to lean against it as she pulled herself up. Oh god, how much time has passed? After limping out of the building using her bow as a walking stick, she saw the town hall¡¯s clock tower had crashed next to the doorway, rot growing from where it broke. Walking down the town streets, it was dead quiet, allowing Robin to zone out till she made it to the sword stone. Around it, there were only eleven unmarked graves, none of them short enough to be Tommy; another, however, was so large it could only be Andre. That grave was the only one to have a gift left on it, cheap wilted roses that had their stems cracked in half like they needed to be made smaller to hide them from a spouse. ¡°Oh, you fools, why did one of you have to die before the other got flowers?¡± "Dignify him with a tombstone, do the same with Sheriff Erroll. I learned long ago that disregarding the individual makes nuance the first thing forgotten by history. The strange voice told her. "Ok," Robin obliged without question. A Beautiful, Disgusting, Terribly Affluent Peasant City Chap: 004 A Beautiful, Disgusting, Terribly Affluent Peasant City ¡°After that, she started organizing a rebellion.¡± Said Aidos ¡°Is that how she managed to kill the god of medicine later?¡± Diogenes asked ¡°No, her Concept told me that was a frame job.¡± ¡°Who¡¯s her concept?¡± ¡°I can''t tell you it¡¯s rude. But what I can tell you is your next ally.¡± ¡°No, don¡¯t tell me about an enemy first, I¡¯m sick of hearing about how I''ll have to work with people more skilled than me.¡± Diogenes joked ¡°Oh, ok, well, besides Mitas Nyarlathotep¡¯s right-hand man is¡­. So, watch out for¡­.¡± ¡°Excuse me, what did you say? I didn¡¯t catch that.¡± ¡°Our commitment must not be strong enough yet if your ears are still rejecting the name. ¡­ Looks like¡­¡± ¡°Nope, didn¡¯t hear that either. Just tell me a story about him.¡± ¡°All I know about it is that it killed Reflection and his committed.¡± ¡°You people can die?¡± ¡°Not usually I''ve only ever seen it happen once.¡± Ok, cool, I¡¯m sick of hearing fairytales, I''m ready to go meet everyone else. Diogenes said he tried to reassure himself with some sense of control. ¡°Ok, that works for me, they¡¯re all the way across the country in Kallos Valley.¡± ¡°Ok, let¡¯s take my fastest car then.¡± Diogenes led Aidos through his labyrinth of a house, brimming with fine art and exclusively decorative stiff seating, till eventually they arrived at his car cellar. Carefully, he leaned against his pristine ¡°Gotta-Have it¡± brand car. ¡°My girl Argos is the world''s fastest car; she¡¯ll get us there quicker than any other car on the market!¡± The duo staggered through traffic on their way out of the newly crowned capital of Athenia, Yorvorville. Usually, journeys are portrayed with a Tolkien-esque sensibility, beautiful prose comprised of delicately constructed similes further composed of unique cherry-picked words. I wish this could be that, but it can¡¯t because even the most apt descriptions of the scenery, such as grimy, arrogant, bustling, lonely, grey, and neon, fail to capture the essence of the city. That is because such words breathe unearned life into the city only possible through authorial intent. The city was indeed all those things however, it is infinitely more important that it was none of them. It was all those dirty words that were told not to use. The streets were just bad, its city planners, evil, its buildings, slabs, and its citizens, simply lame. If a poetic description had to be given, Aidos would have been the one to give it; she despised the city, even going as far as claiming it was ¡°A graveyard for those who lived there.¡± Diogenes sensed her words surpassed mere analogy, which prompted him to make a note never to inquire about it in the hopes of avoiding a conversation he wasn¡¯t emotionally prepared to have. The journey that remained past the city''s guarded borders, which seemed to only exist as an excuse to detain Xecomi citizens and promote the war, was comprised of equally unremarkable scenery that would alternate between different cities and company towns. The company towns that were once pitched to the citizens of Athenia as a way to produce more jobs lacked the homey comfort of a ghost town, as even they housed spirits. After a week and a half of travelling, that would have only been a week if it wasn''t for the cities that trapped them in their orbit. They arrived at a quaint town protected by an iridescent dome. ¡°Hi, you¡¯re Diogenes, right? I think I recognize you from the news.¡± Asked An impish Xecomi boy who had appeared beside them with a popping noise. ¡°Yes, and I think I recognize you too, it¡¯s just I can''t place your name.¡± Diogenes said while extending his hand for a handshake that the imp took far too excitedly. ¡°That makes sense, my name¡¯s Issac Vonnegut, I used to give speeches on scientific theories before all the news stations declared me a heretic.¡± The imp identified himself, unfazed by his own tragic story. And neglecting to explain his inexplicably Mangermic last name. This jogged Diogene¡¯s memory; Issac used to be considered a prodigy or a lunatic, depending on who you asked. He would give these long-televised lectures on his various theories. People used to say he breathed science. Issac believed this was due to his unyielding dedication to his field, but in reality, it was in reference to the fact that when he was lecturing for hours, he simply would not stop talking except to take a bite of his signature everything bagel that was so overly seasoned the in room audience could distinctly smell every season, even then he would only eat once every second hour. Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon. ¡°Wow, you two got here quicker than we expected!¡± Diogenes cut off Aidos¡¯s shock at being seen so easily in order to celebrate the most important conversational tradition of the twenty-first century, bragging. ¡°That makes sense, my Argos here is a ''Gotta Have It Model 776''. She¡¯s the fastest car in the world.¡± ¡°She¡¯s actually the second fastest car now that the Model 777 came out an hour ago.¡± Isaac droned on about the impressive and innovative new engine the Model 777 used. Diogenes, however, was far too preoccupied, recounting all the times he had been unintentionally insulted in the past few months. With questionable accuracy, he believed it was more times than he¡¯d been intentionally praised, regardless of whether his thoughts were accurate. Diogenes, at this point, was getting sick of the accidental insults. ¡°Tell ya what, while I walk you into town, you two can tell me about the trip,¡± Issac suggested, stretching out his hands, inviting the duo to hold them. Effortlessly, the three of them walked through the dome, abandoning Argos to break down in solitude, such as the life cycle of consumer goods. Gain attention, reel in customers, intentionally fall short of expectations, then break down as scheduled. When the journalist who unveiled that this was every major company''s scheme he was relentlessly mocked for naming this cycle ¡°The Wheel That Keeps Companies Running¡± by people who said, ¡°that makes a square not a circle.¡± The journalist really should have picked a more apt analogy. Issac escorted them past the scattered townsfolk to other members of the main team. Unnecessarily, he explained that they held meetings in the center of the center street of the town, inside a modest green tent. This was unnecessary as there was only one road, the road they were walking on, and thus the center street. So, when they saw the green tent and all the people gawking around it as if they were watching a sporting event, they knew it was of some importance. As they parted open the tent, Aidos joyously told Issac about the memory game she and Diogenes played in their downtime during the journey to the town. Prompting Diogenes to boast about how he had won every game, claiming. ¡°You can trust that I won because that¡¯s how I remember it, and I won, so you can trust my memory!¡± Once they fully stepped in, a familiar female voice greeted Diogenes. ¡°Wow, you''re always the perfect little politician, aren¡¯t you?¡± Instantly, Diogenes recognized that the condescending voice was Cass. She was his favorite person to debate, partly because she was the only person with opposing views, but mostly because he always won their debates, at least that¡¯s how the public saw it. She was the only leftist newsperson to earn a ¡°boon¡± from what Diogenes now knew were dead gods. Her ¡°boon¡± was a timeslot on the first largest channel after the second largest, at least that¡¯s how President Mitas explained it. During this timeslot she had a show named the people''s shows that absolutely no people watched. That¡¯s because she claimed to be a prophet and all her prophecies were so dire that everyone collectively decided that she was either a liar, in which case there was no point in listening or if she was telling the truth then in which case they didn¡¯t listen because well no one actually remembered the reason in this case they just elected not to. Diogenes would have been more surprised by her presence there if it wasn¡¯t for the pale naked man who sat on a throne in the center of their tent, directly under its only light fixture and in front of a bright TV so every part of him was utterly and indecently exposed. The TV was playing a rerun of the pilot of the most popular sitcom. Later Diogenes would find out that was all the TV played and be puzzled by what was more strange, how the man seemed perfectly content with this, or how he managed to find a channel that only played the pilot of a sitcom on repeat. A tall, lanky woman armed with a bow hastily explained to Diogenes that the naked man was Apathy¡¯s committed, and he was responsible for the dome around the town. In fact, they built everything around him in order to utilize the dome''s protection; as it turns out, only Issac can walk through it freely. She also explained they had no idea why he was there to begin with or anything else about the peculiar way he presented himself. They only knew who his Concept was because they didn¡¯t bother hiding themselves or lying about their identity when they would bother to stop by. Only after all the explanations and apologies on the naked man''s behalf were finished did she bother to identify herself as Robin Hood. Beside Robin Hood was a man who introduced himself as Lou. Today he was dressed in an odd eighties get-up, but he would often rotate his style as he would preach to anyone who would listen, ¡°All styles are a form of conformity!¡± The only constants about him were his wooden bat spiked with nails and his peculiar accent; Diogenes never bothered to ask him to identify. Lastly, the youngest was a sickly nineteen-year-old boy who hid himself in the corner of the tent while in the fetal position. Endlessly, he muttered to himself about an upcoming world war. This upcoming war was the only thing he and Cass could agree on, as usually, when he would attempt to mutter through a sentence, she would cut him off rudely, asking. ¡°I¡¯m sorry are you trying to queef out a sentenced you pussy?¡± She claimed she was hard on him to teach him to stand up for himself, but others suspected it was because she saw herself in him. During their initial meeting, Diogenes was able to make out a few quotes from the coward, such as. ¡°Any country whose army is comprised of soldiers truly willing and eager to fight was already infected with a preexisting illness.¡± This quote was rebuked by Lou, who said, ¡°That country would also triumph over the others.¡± His other quotes were ¡°This world is so utterly nonsensical that if something somehow managed to make sense, it had to be perverted into something even more nonsensical than its absence would have been! For example, conscientious objection makes perfect sense if someone truly believed fighting in a war would land them on the bad side of their god, they should not be obligated to fight. This makes perfect sense! But every religion has a rule against killing, and absolutely none, not one, had it added in parentheses that murder was allowed if some country ordered it so! So, for conscientious objection to make sense in the nonsensical war-turned world, they had to arbitrarily select which religions it applied to!¡± Diogenes was at first taken aback by how well spoken he was; however, later he had learned it was because he locked himself in his room all day reading. The only other quote Diogenes could make out was that ¡°A non-mandatory draft is an illusion, for it only lasts till exactly when a mandatory draft would be enacted.¡± Not one person in the group, aside from Diogenes, disagreed with that last statement, and not one person knew Diogenes disagreed due to his tight lips. Even after all that muttered talk, Diogenes had no clue what his name was until Robin introduced him as Phillip Crafter. After all the necessary introductions were made, Robin excitedly clapped her hands together as if to say finally, we can get started. ¡°Is everybody ready for their first mission?¡± Can The Boogie Shake Off The Blood? Chap 005 Can The Boogie Shake Off The Blood? In their time together, Robin made a great many vital executive decisions for the well-being of their crew. But in Diogenes¡¯ opinion, her single greatest command also happened to be her first. ¡°Hey, everyone, why don¡¯t we continue the meeting comfortably from behind the naked man''s throne?¡± That truly was one of the rare moments in life when acknowledging the elephant in the room served to alleviate awkward tension. Once everyone was positioned safely behind the throne, Robin promptly announced her ¡°itinerary of gore, viscera, and gratuities violence.¡± Robin had attempted to maintain an air of professionalism with the choice word ¡°itinerary¡± but quickly reverted to her rock sensibilities after concluding ¡°gore, viscera, and gratuities violence¡± was badass. Her speech covered a broad range of topics, such as her long-term plan of targeting key infrastructure order to cripple Mitas¡¯s regime and by extension weaken the thing he worships known as Nyarlathotep. Immediately, when Aidos heard that name, she yelped at Diogenes. ¡°That¡¯s the guy who killed all the other concepts from Grekromia when we founded Athenia!¡± It was only due to this outburst that the rest of the crew, outside of Diogenes and Isaac, were able to see her. What surprised Diogenes at the time was that none of them even flinched at her sudden appearance, instead, they just continued on with the meeting after waving hello. After Robin finished outlining the infrastructure they would target, she moved on to the details of daily life in the town, which even Diogenes knew was surely important; this did not stop his ego from tuning it out, however. He was much too busy with the dawning realization that he was the oldest one there at age thirty and yet seemed to be the least respected. This especially bothered him as the second in command seemed to be the punk with the foreign accent, Lou. Gods, did Diogenes hate his accent, he couldn¡¯t even give a reason if you asked him; he just couldn¡¯t stand it. The reason was xenophobia, which he felt incrementally it was an internalized and unbeknownst xenophobia, while this was absolutely horrid in its own right, it was a far cry from the cruel, incessant externalized and incredibly beknown xenophobia that infected the zeitgeist of his Athenia. This is why it so easily crawled under Diogenes'' thin skin when he heard. ¡°Since I need us all here to gauge our compatibility and our independent friend Lou over wouldn¡¯t have joined us otherwise, I''ve let him pick the location of our first mission, the External Internet Club!¡± Robin announced with jazz hands. Even though this thoroughly annoyed Diogenes, he held his tongue since he knew complaining about something utterly out of his control would just make him appear weak. Some would argue that keeping your mouth shut in fear of being perceived as weak is a weakness in it of its self, Diogenes did not see it that way. Cass lacked Diogenes'' Machiavellian sensibility, causing her to exclaim. ¡°Why the hell does ''it¡¯s not a phase'' Bob Ross get to pick the mission?¡± Diogenes agreed with Cass¡¯s judgement, he would soon find out Cass was exceptionally talented at judging. She had to be all writers are, they had to be to truly get in the head of their characters. She was even worse than your average writer; she was a writer-comedian, so she wasn¡¯t just judgey, she was intensely critical, she had to be, how else would she dismantle hecklers so effortlessly? She was even worse than that, still, she was a writer-comedian-newswoman, so she wasn¡¯t just judgey and critical, she was cynical, she had to be because, well, any reasonable person undesiring to succumb to apathy once exposed to the twenty-four-hour news cycle had to be. Even though Diogenes agreed, he sensed this was his chance to move up in the hierarchy. ¡°Why don¡¯t you tell us, Cass, what¡¯s her answer gonna be? Aren¡¯t you a prophet?¡± ¡°Ooohhh hit ''em with a left!¡± Isaac cheered, having inexplicably appeared beside Phillip with an even more inexplicable bag of popcorn that he graciously offered to Phillip, who was far too nauseous to accept. ¡°Shut up!¡± Both Cass and Lou yelled at Issac, finding themselves oddly in agreement. ¡°Can you all please stop arguing so we can get the mission started?¡± Asked Robin No, no, they could not. They continued to bicker, and Robin even eventually joined in. They all hurled insults at each other. Cass was called a false prophet, Robin an unfit leader, Isaac a petulant man-child, Phillip a massive pussy and Lou ¡°The mannequin they hide at the back of Urban outfitters¡± unsurprisingly that last one was a quote from Cass. The only thing Diogenes learned during this entire affair was that everyone could agree he was a ¡°spineless sellout.¡± This free-for-all all lasted until Isaac said something so utterly stupid it stunned everyone into silence. ¡°Why are we even going to an External Internet Club? I thought they were only in Athenia.¡± Once everyone had sufficient time to process the ridiculousness of his statement, they all dogpiled him with their own versions of the phrase ¡°Yeah, you idiot, that¡¯s where we are.¡± Some versions of this phrase were leagues more colorful than others. Phillip was the only one who refrained from the relentless mockery, partly out of mercy but mostly just his signature confrontation avoidance. ¡°Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get confused about that kind of thing. But you know what I remember, where we are now.¡± ¡°Congrats, man, I¡¯m glad you caught up,¡± Lou said, much to everyone''s approval. ¡°We''re in an External Internet club.¡± Pop Suddenly, everyone except the naked man and Aidos was on the third floor of a thoroughly packed External Internet Club, looking down on the pit and the accompanied stage three long stories below. The layout of the club was like a mini colosseum that was so jam-packed that if you were to observe it from an aerial view, it would appear like toothpicks bound together by rubber bands. A playlist consisting of every genre imaginable, no one was ever even annoyed by the shift in genre; they adored everything played in that club, how could they complain when the music blasted all around them as if someone had shoved speakers into every last molecule of air. Blissfully, this cycle turned out hit after hit until, devoid of any prior warning, the club blared ¡°Three infants found burnt to a crisp inside a laundry mat dryer!¡± which prompted a momentary respite in all the dancing and drinking at least until the next song played. Snap The crew''s ears turned deaf to the music while the crowds around them remained dancing. ¡°Now that you ladies and gents get the general idea, stay close so that way you all can watch without exposure,¡± Lou instructed with an out-of-character voice crack. Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator. Dancing remained just as fervent as the news-induced respites were solemn; the only slight change to the schedule was that clubbers resumed their dancing sooner and sooner with each rotation. Once the respites faded out of existence, so did the gaps in between announcements. To explain the disappearance of the respites, Lou allowed the music to reach their ears again. ¡°?Lets? ARE ?Boogie? TERRORISTS ?The? IN ?Night? YOUR ?Away? CEREAL?¡± They had completely intertwined the music, and the headlines had become one and the same, and not a single clubber cared. Cass¡¯s hair levitated as if they were getting pulled upwards by puppet strings, and her eyes lit up the color of the now extinct lightning bug. ¡°The pit will consume One earns a boon History repeats They will eat¡± ¡°Oh god, this again, you know this is why I always won in our debates.¡± Nobody agreed with Diogenes, not due to some special faith they had all placed in Cass¡¯s prophetic abilities, but because they had all reached a similar conclusion to their interpretation of the prophecy on their own. ¡°Ha, I have no goddamn idea what she meant with all that! But I do know that pits got some serious bad mojo going on!¡± Said Lou ¡°Great, I finally know what to do now, it''s time for y¡¯all to follow your fearless leader! Lou, I¡¯m assuming you¡¯re protecting us using some kind of dome thing like the naked man¡¯s. Do you think you could increase its area of effect by making smaller domes around our ears?¡± An eager Robin took control. ¡°Yeah, maybe; ok, it''s done, I still definitely wouldn¡¯t recommend running off too far away from me.¡± ¡°Great, thank you! Now ill protect y¡¯all from above using my awesome commitment and kick ass bow. While the rest of y¡¯all try to convince people to leave before the grand finale. Leave the pit for the strongest of y-.¡± Lou vaulted over the club railing and allowed himself to free fall to the pit in a way that made him incredibly badass. To the rest of the crew, however, he just appeared like he was rag-dolling until right when he was about to plank into clubbers he blasted himself up right and somehow avoided hitting anybody which was an admittedly bad ass landing. He immediately got to work pushing trios of people out at a time with his abilities, unfortunately, he barely made a dent in the pit. He could¡¯ve done more if he didn¡¯t have to also protect his crewmates. Robin took special notice of this. Issac had the second easiest time adapting to the mission since all he had to do was transport himself to the second floor and touch as many people as possible to transport them out of the building, and hopefully somewhere relatively close but Issac was terrible with all the minute details especially when he wasn¡¯t there himself. Later, Isaac would find out he separated himself from Lou''s protection with his initial transport; he just remained deaf to the music for some inexplicable reason, as all things with Isaac tended to be. The remaining three had a much trickier time with their assignment. Diogenes forced himself to bribe people to leave with the lowest amount possible, not to maximize the clubbers evacuated but in the hopes of having some cash left over. Despicable as he was, he even felt relieved when he noticed people would just take the money and blend back into the crowd. The only part of that that he truly despised was that he swore he bribed someone twice. Philip was nowhere to be seen since he had hidden himself underneath a pair of passed-out clubbers. Cass was the only one who made a genuine attempt to help; unfortunately, however, she was the only one without any commitment, so she failed utterly at it. Ceaselessly, she tried warning people, but with each attempt, they grew angrier with her and expressed so via equally ceaseless shoving and kicking at her shins. Robin would have stepped in when things got out of hand; however, before she could, the club did it itself. Multi colored neon fairies danced in front of the obsidian stage curtains until, ultimately, they formed the name ¡°The Sirens.¡± Which cued the curtains to part; before they could even part an inch, Robin launched an arrow through it, piercing right through it before it crashed to the floor with a thud that startled the other Sirens to start singing. With the clubbers now completely transformed into an apathetic mass, they were perfectly pliable and accepting of the Sirens'' commands to swarm Robin and bum rush the stage. With Robin preoccupied, evading the swarm, A pastime she was all too familiar with, and Lou catching as many clubbers as he could, all the while the exploded bodies that crashed all around him formed a tsunami of blood to assault him from all sides. Left the Sirens free to fully unveil their hideous forms. Three heads with lone feathered wings that pricked out their ears with the crowns of their heads adorned with slicked-back feathered hair, flew in a haunting circular pattern above a vast shadowy chasm once hidden by the curtains, and was rapidly being filled with corpses that were once people lured into it. Immediately after seeing this, Cass leaped into the air and allowed herself to plummet perilously to the pit as she screamed for a distracted Lou to catch her. But even once she grabbed Lou¡¯s attention, he couldn¡¯t make her out from the waterfall of clubbers. Seconds before she joined the lake of innards, Isaac snatched her, transporting them both into the chasm of bodies, face first. They both puked out their intestines as the realization of their surroundings smacked their consciences. ¡°Oh, my gods, I¡¯m so sorry. I needed a place that could absorb the kinetic energy!¡± Isaac somehow managed to explain through bouts of vomiting.¡± Once they were thoroughly emptied, the duo transported themselves back up to the stage, where they managed to prevent tens of would-be jumpers. Diogenes could not quantify nor understand the depths of the hatred that burned him as he watched that scene unfold, and he certainly couldn¡¯t quench the wild fire that was rising from his chest and into his eyes. A vastly more literal, a suddenly visible ring of blue fire connected the Sirens. That ring needs to be put out! He called out to Cass and Isaac, but his yells got lost in the gap between the third floor and the stage. ¡°Shit!¡± A mouse-like tug pulled on Diogenes'' sleeve. ¡°Please, I need to help, just please, please keep me safe. I can phase my body if that helps?¡± Squeaked Phillip. ¡°That¡¯s perfect, give me a hug!¡± Diogenes lifted Phillip off the ground as they hugged, and he scanned the club for Robin, which he couldn¡¯t find, leading him to deduce she must be directly below him on the second floor. ¡°Tell Robin to aim between them all, she''ll need is a second finish this!" Diogenes instructed as he slammed Phillip to the ground slightly too fast for him to phase before the hit. ¡°Ohhh oh shit I thought you¡¯d phase in time I¡¯m so sorry!¡± he apologized to the floor where Phillip once laid. Phillip had no way to cushion his fall other than to land on the crowd. Luckily for everybody involved, when he slammed against the floor again, he crashed right next to Robin. Phillip rolled to his side and clamped his hands around Robin, rendering her intangible. Frighteningly quickly after Phillip relayed Diogenes'' message, Robin had drawn her bow and shot an originally intangible arrow right through the ring of fire she couldn¡¯t even see. Three thuds later, all the heads had fallen, and the music was killed. Four grueling hours later, the shellshocked crew had finally escorted the last of the survivors out, leaving only the six of them left to stagger out of the club and onto the private beach outside of it like blood-bathed zombies. Lou blasted the club to the ground but was far too traumatized to turn and watch. The sand had been thoroughly dyed red by all the survivors. The crew felt themselves drawn to the ocean like moths drawn to a flame, they did not allow themselves to rest until they were knee deep in precious cleansing waves. As if they all shared a mind in unison, they flopped back into the ocean, drowning themselves for as long as their lungs permitted until they had to break up for air. What followed was the longest silence of their respective lives until Isaac thought it was his job to lighten the mood. ¡°Well, at least they died as they lived ¡­ uhm, I''m sorry guys, I thought the punchline would come to me.¡± ¡°Most people die as they lived, and all people would consider this a cruel fate, as even the rare few who want to be themselves don¡¯t want to be their present selves.¡± The sheer pessimistic nature of Phillips'' statement forced a howling laugh out of everyone, ironically doing Isaacs'' self-imposed job for him. ¡°Hey, Lou man, how¡¯d you know about all this? I thought it was gonna be a mob boss or something.¡± Cass questioned devoid of insults. ¡°Oh man I was just taken the piss I thought clubbing would be fun then it got creepy.¡±