《Paranoid Love Affair》


 Chapter 1

    ¡°You were born to be loved~?¡±


    An awful song was being played.


    A song full of lies and hypocrisy.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s room was not soundproofed but still he couldn¡¯t hear every word of the lyrics clearly.


    Yoon-woo has never had a good night¡¯s sleep in this cramped studio.


    At dawn, I woke up early because a drunk Chinese guy next door was shouting at someone on his phone. Later that week on Sunday morning, the singing of children in a nearby church could be heard from a small window which irritated me, making me feel like my ears would bleed .


    Adults would have taught children that song with a pleasant smile.


    ¡°You were born to be loved in this world.¡±


    Who the hell is to blame for that?


    Those children will realize in less than 10 years that the content of those lyrics is nothing but a lie.


    For better or worse, Yoon-woo seems to have realized this a little earlier than those children.


    Ever since he was born, Yoon-woo has never been loved by anyone.


    When I was in 4th grade, my homeroom teacher was a young female teacher.


    But one day, I didn¡¯t know if she came after reading a self-help book filled with some wonderful words or from watching some educational broadcast, but she said these things to the children.


    ¡°Everyone, you must be a person who knows how to love yourself. How can someone else love someone who doesn¡¯t even love themselves? Respect and love yourself first before you expect others to love you.¡±


    Although Yoon-woo was still young, he instinctively sensed that it was a lie.


    For example, the class president, Hye-rim Cho, who is popular with everyone, had a pretty appearance and a lively personality, he didn¡¯t think that the love she received had anything to do with how she thought of herself.


    And if the teacher is right, is it because Yoon-woo doesn¡¯t love himself that all of his classmates don¡¯t like him?


    Yoon-woo was an ordinary child. However, after someone pointed out that Yoon-woo¡¯s voice sounded like a woman¡¯s, there was laughter every time Yoon-woo opened his mouth.


    They even teased Yoon-woo for being a gay bastard. So, Yoon-woo became scared of talking.


    He couldn¡¯t make friends because he was afraid to speak to anyone.


    Is it because Yoon-woo doesn¡¯t love himself? Even before Yoon-woo hated himself, others hated him first.


    Cho Hye-rim, the class president and the only classmate who did not tease Yoon-woo for his voice, told Yoon-woo.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, did you hear the teacher? Yoon-woo must love Yoon-woo too!¡±


    Yoon-woo knew that the teacher had asked Hye-rim to take care of Yoon-woo as he didn¡¯t get along well with others in class.


    So sometimes, out of the blue, she would give one-sided advice that could not be called conversation.


    He abhorred her as she was Ms. Perfect Class President who is loved by everyone and even asked by teachers.


    In addition, Hye-rim¡¯s words were not only based on the premise that Yoon-woo was not loved by others, but it was also filled with a tone that blamed Yoon-woo.


    Yoon-woo scoffed at her and said, ¡°Really? I like myself so much already. Since I already love myself, can Hye-rim love me too? Do you want to go out with me?¡±


    What the teacher said was that you should love yourself before being loved by others, not that if you love yourself, others will love you on their own. But for young children, that sort of logical leap was a good one to listen to.


    Hye-rim¡¯s eyes flashed with embarrassment several times, and then she soon burst into tears.


    And Yoon-woo became the target of everyone¡¯s criticism.


    When I tried to explain, no one listened to me.


    When pretty Hye-rim is crying and Yoon-woo is standing next to her, it¡¯s Yoon-woo who did something wrong.


    Yoon-woo realized how meaningless it was to open his mouth.


    So even when he was in middle school and high school, Yoon-woo kept his mouth shut.


    Regardless of whether he opens his mouth or not, Lee Yoon-woo is not loved by anyone anyway.


    I don¡¯t have a good memory of my childhood. My parents often fought, and when they fought, they turned their anger on me.


    ¡®Why did I have to have a child and go through this hardship¡­ ¡­.¡¯, ¡®If it wasn¡¯t for him, the situation would be¡­ ¡­.¡¯


    Yoon-woo felt guilty. Eating rice, drinking water, turning on the heater.


    He questioned himself whether it was worth it to breathe and live this life.


    He studied hard but when Yoon-woo got low grades, the parents fought with each other saying, ¡®That child resembles you.¡¯


    But even if I got good grades, there were no days when I was praised or taken out to a restaurant for a treat.


    Since his parents spent a lot of money on Yoon-woo, it is only natural for Yoon-woo to get good grades in school, and it is not something to be praised for.


    Children can¡¯t easily hate their parents. So, Yoon-woo would blame himself for every bad thing happening in his life.


    Before falling asleep, he always painted the world in his head without his presence.


    It was a world where parents who didn¡¯t spend much money and didn¡¯t fight each other, they enjoyed talking and eating because of Yoon-woo.


    However, such a world was not one in which Yoon-woo could live in. If Yoon-woo dies inside this house, his hideous body will dirty the house and his parents have to spend some money to clean it up again.


    In addition, his parents would have to take responsibility for Yoon-woo¡¯s death and it would adversely affect his parents¡¯ social reputation.


    ¡®Social reputation¡¯ is one of the most important values of Yoon-woo¡¯s parents, who are university professors.


    Therefore, if you want to die, you have to be careful not to pollute the room and not to make a situation where your parents will get the blame for your death.


    Otherwise, even Yoon-woo¡¯s dead body could be pointed at for the blame.


    ¡°Yoon-woo is a much more valuable person than I thought.¡±


    That¡¯s what the psychiatrist said.


    It was a few pills called diazepam and Seroquel that made Yoon-woo¡¯s mind feel peaceful, who was getting exhausted in a small studio.


    I don¡¯t know if it has a positive effect on the mind, but after taking the drug, the amount of time I slept increased to about 11 hours.


    In fact, I didn¡¯t go to a psychiatrist to get rid of my gloomy mood which had been hovering around me for 20 years. Since the waking time is always a time of pain, it would¡¯ve been better if the sleeping time increased for me.That¡¯s the only reason to go to a psychiatrist.


    But it was hard to listen to the useless words the doctor had to say every time I went. Every time we met, he said things like, ¡®You are a talented person, haven¡¯t you gone to a place that is difficult for others to even enter¡¯ or ¡®Value yourself, you are a worthy person¡¯.


    It sounded like he was making fun of him.


    That doctor would give everyone who comes to him a good reason, and for that reason, he would motivate everyone to live and prescribe medicine.


    Even if a broken clock comes to him, the doctor will praise him by saying, ¡°Didn¡¯t you work hard in the past?¡± and ¡°Don¡¯t you still hit twice a day?¡±


    University? Both Yoon-woo¡¯s parents were professors at Shun University, but Yoon-woo failed the entrance examination and entered the Department of Economics at an old university, which was one level below that.


    The entrance exam was a failure. My parents didn¡¯t congratulate me or console me.


    Yoon-woo is a failure. Yoon-woo shouldn¡¯t have been born.


    Everything in Yoon-woo¡¯s life was a failure. A broken watch should be discarded.


    -Tofu, are you sleeping already?


    It was 9 o¡¯clock in the evening. I woke up to the children¡¯s cacophonous singing and felt bad even after I went to the gym in the morning, so I was lying down and looking into the air without eating anything.


    The friend who sent the kakaotalk message is a complete stranger who knows neither his face nor his name.


    I met him in an open chat room, and Yoon-woo¡¯s nickname was ¡°Tofu Soft Tofu¡± and the other person¡¯s nickname was ¡°Sandok¡±.


    The other person called Yoon-woo Tofu, and Yoon-woo called him Bunny because it was too troublesome to type in the weird name of Sandok.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to sleep now.¡±


    -Why? I just woke up. Let¡¯s have a drink together.


    When she asks you to drink together, she doesn¡¯t mean to meet you.


    The idea was to take a video of each other¡¯s bottles and send it to each other to make us feel better.


    At first, Bunny wanted to meet and drink together, but Yoon-woo refused, saying he didn¡¯t want to meet anyone and that he didn¡¯t want anyone to see him.


    So that¡¯s why Bunny suggested this.


    Yoon-woo was not a good drinker, but he was very happy when he held a can of cheap beer and played the rhythm a few times.


    Bunny seemed to drink almost every day.


    ¡°If you drink now, you can¡¯t get up early tomorrow¡±.


    -What if I can¡¯t get up? I heard you didn¡¯t take the first class on Monday anyway.


    ¡°But if I wake up late because of alcohol, I¡¯d feel ashamed.¡±


    -Why don¡¯t we just get it over with? I¡¯m good any time.


    ¡°Not yet¡­ I think I¡¯ll feel less sorry if I die after receiving my diploma. To my parents¡­.¡±


    -Why do you care so much about others when you are going to die anyway?


    ¡°But I told you it was after graduation from the beginning.¡±


    -You did. I just wanted to make you feel comfortable. I¡¯m gonna go get a leaf of algae.


    ¡°Yeah, I only drink on Fridays or Saturdays, so let¡¯s talk about it then.¡±


    -I don¡¯t even look at the calendar anymore, so I don¡¯t know what day it is. You tell me first.


    ¡°Okay, I will.¡±


    I met Bunny in the 1:1 open chat room.


    Although searching for ¡°suicide¡± as the subject of the open chat room was prohibited, there were still various bypass words.


    Yoon-woo, who was overwhelmed by the urge to stop living after entering college, wanted to know the fastest and cleanest way to die. However, all information on this topic was blocked.


    Why? Wouldn¡¯t it be better if someone tried to kill themselves to the point where they knew how to die easily?


    Wouldn¡¯t that be enough to let him die? The world that forces us to live is so cruel.


    Still, many people gathered in the open chat room who wanted to die regardless of gender or age to the point they could not even care to censor the chat room.


    Yoon-woo wandered around such chat rooms in case he could get information about a comfortable and clean death. But most were not serious.


    The most difficult case Yoon-woo has seen is those who persistently hurt their bodies and try to show them to others.


    Somehow those who hurt themselves really wanted to show their wounds.


    It didn¡¯t seem to matter to anyone. And they didn¡¯t really want to die.


    Yoon-woo had a hard time seeing such pictures, so he was disgusted by them.


    They try to draw attention, making a fuss about death only with their mouths. In the end, it only makes people around you fall in trouble.


    ¡°The desire to get attention from others is natural but these guys want it so bad that they are hurting themselves for it.¡±


    Yoon-woo talked about them to a psychiatrist, an expert in good words.


    Of course, I didn¡¯t say I was looking for a way to die. I was looking for someone to talk to because I was lonely, and I met them.


    I know. Everyone wants attention. But it takes qualification to get attention.


    It is to be as extraordinarily lovely as the class president Cho Hye-rim when you were young, or to succeed in the entrance examination to Shun University, or something like that to be given to some special people.


    Otherwise, he will not get the attention of his family like Yoon-woo.


    But these guys were not qualified and yet begging for attention? What a na?ve bunch of people.


    Come to think of it, it¡¯s clear they¡¯re victims, too.


    ¡°You were born to be loved~?¡±


    That song is what ruined these people. Because of the song, if you really grew up expecting that you were born to be loved, you¡¯d be very disappointed.


    So they said, ¡®Look at me. I heard I was born to be loved?¡¯ He¡¯s complaining that he¡¯s innocent.


    Adults instil fantasies in children without responsibility.


    But when those children grow up and complain about those fantasies not coming true, they laugh at them for being immature.


    In that case, it should have been taught from an early age.


    ¡°There are only a few people who were born to be loved in the world,¡± he said.


    Anyway, while looking for someone seriously thinking about dying, I met Bunny.


    Bunny was not looking for a way to die, but for someone to die with.


    As long as we die together, it doesn¡¯t matter if we do anything else.


    Bunny was really lonely.


    Nevertheless, when I saw her staying alone in her room without forcing herself to find someone to meet, I felt like she was not born to be loved.


    There was a time when Bunny asked Yoon-woo to meet and have a drink, but she didn¡¯t recommend it anymore when Yoon-woo refused it once, probably because she wasn¡¯t really suggesting it either.


    Bunny didn¡¯t try to attract attention or harm herself, so Yoon-woo and Bunny quickly got to know each other.


    So, I tried voice chatting with the app a few times, but one time Bunny kept crying and I couldn¡¯t understand what she was saying.


    Bunny said that she wakes up every night and drinks as soon as she wakes up.


    And she said she endured every day by getting drunk.


    When I asked if she drank a lot on the day we chatted while crying, she said it was the day she didn¡¯t drink even a drop of alcohol.


    That was probably a good thing. Because I have a partner who will seriously die with me.


    Even if we talk about love or interest in the face of death, it quickly turns into nothingness.


    So, we decided not to ask about useless things about each other whenever possible.


    I found out because of the voice that Bunny was a woman, but it was a good thing.


    Even Bunny didn¡¯t say anything about Yoon-woo¡¯s voice. She is a very nice and understanding friend as a companion of the underworld.


    The purpose of Bunny is to die with others in any way possible, and Yoon-woo¡¯s purpose is to disappear cleanly without harming his parents¡¯ reputation.


    If I die with Bunny, leaving a silly suicide note that seems to have admired romantic companionship, it will be less likely that my parents will be caught up in the scandal of whether they are responsible or not for my death.


    Therefore, the interests of Bunny and Yoon-woo were perfectly coherent.


    At least¡­¡­ it seemed so at that time.

 Chapter 2

    ¡°It¡¯s better to exercise than to be alone at home. Why don¡¯t you exercise around three times a week? That way, you¡¯ll feel better and refreshed.¡±


    The psychiatrist said so and recommended exercise. Yoon-woo didn¡¯t really want to feel good.


    The reason why I first visited the psychiatry department is because I couldn¡¯t concentrate while I read or take classes since I entered college.


    After answering a long questionnaire containing 500 questions, the doctor said Yoon-woo has depression and the stage is quite serious.


    Yoon-woo didn¡¯t know how to accept the doctor¡¯s words.


    Depression? But that is Life.


    If you call it a disease then the whole world will be full of sick people.


    The only people who are not depressed are the chosen ones.


    Yoon-woo had been gloomy all his life, and Yoon-woo¡¯s feelings were of little importance to anyone, even to himself.


    More than that, I had to regain my concentration.


    I had already disappointed my parents with the result of the entrance exam, but I couldn¡¯t even fail my grades.


    ¡®You didn¡¯t get to a nice college, and you don¡¯t even follow those college classes now? You are such a disappointment.¡¯ My parents will surely be tired of me.


    ¡°All I want is to be able to keep up with my classes. I don¡¯t care if I feel better or not.¡±


    The doctor sighed when she saw Yoon-woo like that.


    ¡°If you get out of depression, concentration will also return, and to do so, it is effective to exercise, and why don¡¯t you look for fun sports activities?¡±


    If he said so, there was no reason for Yoon-woo to not listen to the doctor.


    In the first place, Yoon-woo was very passive and obedient, so he could not disobey what others told him to do for no particular reason.


    So, I found a gym in the school.


    My parents provided me with the lowest living expenses, including the monthly rent of my own room.


    The tuition was covered by scholarships.


    Originally, Yoon-woo was going to earn money by working part-time, but his parents told him to study or build other specifications at that time.


    For a long time, my parents didn¡¯t really like me, so they didn¡¯t spare money on my education.


    How difficult is it to spend money on people you don¡¯t like? If you think about it like that, I¡¯m really thankful for them.


    It was not right to commit suicide without paying back even the lowest amount to repay their kindness. Therefore, before he died, he had to make up the fact that Yoon-woo was a promising figure with high academic achievements and that his parents had no influence on his death.


    In the meantime, it is not possible to invest a lot of money or time in sports activities.


    Compared to those luxurious activities, the school gym was well-equipped with necessary facilities, and with the student ID, it was available at an exceptional price of 45,000 won per month.


    In addition, there were no strict standards such as the daily entry limit.


    So, Yoon-woo always went to exercise every morning and went back in the evening if he could afford it.


    Holding a can of beer, watching videos and drinking with Bunny has become increasingly difficult, both in time and money.


    Even 45,000 won was not a small amount for Yoon-woo, and it was hard to exercise the next morning if I drank at night.


    Bunny told me that it¡¯s okay not to overdo it with her, but I still bought a can of cheap beer because I wanted to talk with Bunny on Saturday.


    Obviously, exercising refreshed my head, so I couldn¡¯t think of anything else when I was studying.


    The only exercises Yoon-woo did during the semester were burpee testing, push-ups, and pull-ups.


    I heard that weight training was effective, but I don¡¯t want to have a nice body nor can I do it perfectly by watching exercises on WeTube where exercises were done in many different ways.


    During the semester, I paid attention only to time-effectiveness.


    In addition, the school gym had limited weight equipment, so there were a lot of people waiting.


    The Burpee Test was very simple in this regard, and it was very difficult to exercise, so it was perfect for Yoon-woo¡¯s taste.


    Unexpectedly, Yoon-woo was pretty good at pull-ups even though he had never exercised before. Because Yoon-woo didn¡¯t usually eat well, he weighed very little.


    Anyway, at the end of the first semester, Yoon-woo was able to get good grades without any difficulty, and he had a pretty good figure.


    However, there were many cases where I couldn¡¯t resist hunger because of exercise, so I stopped eating at the student¡¯s cafeteria, purchased high-cost protein foods such as pork back legs and mild tuna, and ordered a salad for 2,700 won per meal.


    It was cheaper than eating at a student¡¯s cafeteria.


    In fact, the college had been advertising that it would change the student¡¯s cafeteria to a buffet style since I entered the school, but didn¡¯t. The meal at the cafeteria was not cost-effective for me. It was a fixed lunch and for me, who had a small appetite, paying 5,000 won was too much.


    ¡°See? Working out makes a lot of difference, doesn¡¯t it? How do you feel?¡±


    The doctor always asked useless questions.


    Yoon-woo didn¡¯t want to answer such silly questions because if he felt good or working out made a lot of difference then he didn¡¯t have to go to a psychiatrist anymore, right?


    Although the medicine that helps to get me a nice sleep was good, it was too costly and also this medical treatment was expensive.


    However, the doctor said that it is difficult to stop taking the medicine at once and should be reduced gradually, so I should visit him for the time being.


    Considering that, the amount of medicine did not decrease much, and every time I met the doctor, I was drowsy because he said a lot of useless things.


    ¡°It¡¯s not good to be alone. Why don¡¯t you join a club and make some close friends?¡±


    Yoon-woo obeyed others unless there was a special reason, this time there was a special reason not to follow the doctor¡¯s instructions.


    Joining a club meant I would have to spend my time and the limited amount of money that my parents gave me, which I can¡¯t afford to waste, in a club for drinking.


    Besides, there hasn¡¯t been anyone who liked me so far, and I don¡¯t expect for a miracle to happen in the club, so why should I consider joining a club? Also, I¡¯m gonna be dead in three years.


    Yoon-woo told his parents that he was planning to go to the army as an officer right after graduation.


    I was going to graduate as soon as possible and die right away.


    Of course, you can¡¯t tell a psychiatrist about this. I might be hospitalized the moment I say it.


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯ll try.¡±


    I didn¡¯t say ¡®I will¡¯ as I was not going to


    During the summer vacation after the end of the first semester, the school gym had a very pleasant environment since many students left for their home.


    There were only one or two people in the weight training zone, which was always crowded.


    As the day got boring, Yoon-woo was thinking of learning weight training by watching WeTube.


    It would be too suffocating to go to my parents¡¯ house and spend time with them, and the old-fashioned air conditioner in my dorm room didn¡¯t work well, and the electricity bill was high, so I didn¡¯t want to turn it on.


    I went to the school reading room because it was painful to spend a day in a small and hot room, but since I was going to die after graduation anyway, I was confused about what to study.


    Death is the only thing that comes to my mind when I am idle. Whenever I don¡¯t do any activity, my mind would be filled with hateful memories of myself.


    As a result, my feet naturally led me to the school gym.


    Back when the semester was ongoing, I wanted to finish exercising as quickly as possible and leave the gym but contrary to that, now I did exercises for as long and as slowly as possible.


    Reaching my room, I wanted to fall asleep right away before feeling the heat and sweat.


    The psychiatrist said I would feel better if I exercised, he was half right and half wrong.


    Certainly, while exercising, I was able to escape the vague anxiety and self-loathing that came to myself, but it was only a brief escape during my time at the gym, it did not change my usual life.


    Just after finishing exercises, I would get all anxious entering the shower room. Thoughts like how would my weak body look in front of the fit and handsome seniors, would they make fun of me or not and such depressing things would invade my mind.


    Would they also give me a nickname like Scarecrow which I got in high school and make fun of me?


    He came to this college because he wanted to be healthy and make many friends to exercise with who were good at studying. This was his desire since Yoon-woo couldn¡¯t get into Shun University even if he studied hard.


    Emotions of self-loathing constantly invaded  Yoon-woo¡¯s mind. They only stopped  when he was either struggling to move his body or when he was sleeping.


    So, when there were a lot of people, I used to go out of the gym and take a shower at home as soon as I finished exercising.


    There were not many people in the gym during the summer vacation, so there was no need to do that.


    Sometimes, I could relax and watch WeTube to practice weight exercises such as deadlift and back squat.


    However, when someone came, which was very rare, Yoon-woo did what he had been doing in a hurry and ran away.


    It¡¯s obvious that the gym room which had been noisy suddenly became eerily serious because of the appearance of certain someone


    Men who were exercising while chatting with their friends suddenly got silent, and the speed of the treadmill got faster.


    People who were weight-lifting suddenly increased their weight and pushed their limits.


    This was funny because their intentions were clearly visible and men can¡¯t keep their cool in front of a woman.


    She was a beautiful college girl in tight yoga pants and a sports tank top.


    It is said that wearing sportswear makes it look much smaller than it really is, but nevertheless, everyone could see her extraordinary beauty at a glance.


    The elasticity of her strong hip muscles and long leg muscles behind her broad pelvis was showing how hard she was exercising.


    Some of the flubbing fat on her sides or thighs may be one of the reasons she works hard at the gym, but the flesh has rather doubled her bewitching beauty.


    Her small round face had a docile and good impression, and somehow resembled a celebrity who was every man¡¯s first love, who previously advertised for soju.


    She worked out in the weight training zone in earnest, instead of going back after only doing treadmill like any other woman.


    Men weren¡¯t the only ones to take glimpses of her sweaty figure with long straight tied hair  swinging lustrously on her back exposing her neck.


    Her beautiful, refreshing appearance picking up the barbell caught everyone¡¯s attention.


    She was such an unrivalled person.


    So, Yoon-woo was uncomfortable with her.


    Why would someone like that attend this school?


    She was the chosen one. Just someone born to be loved.


    There are people who hurt themselves and beg on their knees to get a single moment of attention and affection.


    For chosen ones like her, just existing in this world gets them so much attention and affection.


    And yet she treats this all affection as trash.


    Maybe she¡¯ll crush everyone¡¯s heart just sparing the best ones.


    Yoon-woo feels miserable whenever he sees her.


    Yoon-woo who has never been loved in his life. A person that has already given up on being loved and is waiting to die.


    And a person who is full of love and attention when she just exists has the same educational background as him and even works out so hard¡­ Yoon-woo couldn¡¯t accept this.


    Recently, Yoon-woo managed to learn the deadlift posture and could barely lift 105 pounds, and that woman was lifting 100 pounds.


    As a man Yoon-woo was embarrassed that he could only do 5 pounds more than a woman.


    She was a person whose existence itself makes a mockery of Yoon-woo¡¯s entire life and his beliefs.


    Even for a man¡¯s instinctive desire which cannot be fulfilled by such a person, even just looking at her made Yoon-woo feel miserable.


    So, he remembered the time she was coming, and tried not to go to the gym at that time, but to his annoyance, the time she was exercising was random.


    Just going to the gym as early as possible and praying for her to wake up late seemed to be the most likely thing to happen.


    The day I meet her at the gym, my mood would hit rock bottom, and I would contact Bunny at night.


    Since Yoon-woo, who was cautious, refused to tell Bunny what his identity was, he could not lament by explaining in detail what had happened that day.


    However, when Yoon-woo made a voice chat, she said, ¡°Today was the best. I ordered something from somewhere and ate it. I didn¡¯t like the delivery man as he woke me up from my sleep but I loved the food.¡±


    I was relieved to hear Bunny talking like that.


    Come to think of it, the only person I talked to during this whole summer vacation was Bunny except for the convenience store staff.


    I think it¡¯s the best decision to die with Bunny.


    ================================

 Chapter 3

    Time flew by, soon came September. A new semester started and a terrible thing happened to Yoon-woo.


    She came to the economics class which he will be attending.


    It was the woman he hated to run into at the gym.


    To keep seeing her in the classroom during a whole semester, had I known, I would have cancelled my course registration.


    Apparently, she started attending right after the corrections for course registration was done.


    Economics students were required to take the basics of economics, but Yoon-woo did not want to hang out with his classmates.


    The economics class was divided into several groups, and Yoon-woo applied for a lecture held in a science and engineering campus lecture room far away from the College of Economics, where the same major classmates had no reason to apply for.


    This economics theory class, which Yoon-woo applied for, is taught in English by a blonde female professor of Bolivian nationality.


    According to the reviews of the course, it was very easy to take and it was famous for good grades and credits given easily.


    The English pronunciation was a little difficult to understand, but it was the only issue, and the test is based on the contents of the ppt anyway.


    (ppt= Powerpoint presentation)


    As a requirement for graduation from college, there was a requirement that students had to take at least a few English lectures, so this course was a perfect course to meet the graduation requirements and earn credits.


    However, there was no mention on the course review site that Professor Lee will make students introduce themselves in English at the beginning of the semester.


    Because the only person who cared about such things would have been Yoon-woo.


    After the professor declared that she would have a self-introduction, for a brief moment, Yoon-woo thought a lot about it.


    No matter how much you train in English for the SAT and get used to reading or listening to English, your English conversation skills are a different matter.


    Also, Yoon-woo had a hard time speaking in front of people.


    So, it was difficult for Yoon-woo since not only would he have  to speak in front of so many people but he would also have to do that in English and without any prior notice.


    Like many people unfamiliar with conversing in English, he tried to say it by memorizing Korean sentences in his head, translating them into English, and then saying them.


    However, the only sentences that came to his mind were ¡®I¡¯m trash¡¯ and ¡®I¡¯m going to die soon.¡¯


    ¡®I have a disgusting voice.¡¯


    In my opinion, it was the most appropriate sentence to introduce myself, but I can¡¯t say that.


    In fact, since this economics class was mainly taken by students of the Department of Food and Resources Economics, about 70% of the class was filled with people who seemed friendly to each other, and they were chatting with each other.


    So, Yoon-woo was going to be buried in a corner as inconspicuous as possible.


    However, if you introduce yourself with such a catchy self-introduction, it is sure to become a topic of discussion for other students during lunchtime.


    Even a mistake that ends in a moment of laughter within the group becomes a subject of ridicule or prejudice for a long time when it is made by someone who is alienated from the group.


    That¡¯s why loners are so vulnerable in college life.


    However, contrary to Yoon-woo¡¯s worries, the self-introduction time went smoothly.


    Because the self-introduction started from the very front seat, Yoon-woo sat in the back seat which was far away from it.


    People¡¯s interest in the content of the self-introduction decreased as time went by, and the number of people who finished their self-introduction quickly by borrowing a few sentences from the previous person increased.


    Of course, Yoon-woo did the same.


    Contrary to the expectations of students from the first hour after the self-introduction, the class progressed with a full 75-minute lecture .


    Like other professors, she said, ¡®You know this, right? I don¡¯t need to explain, right? If you don¡¯t know, it¡¯s your fault, so if you do, find the answer yourself.¡¯


    It wasn¡¯t honey for nothing. It didn¡¯t matter what that professor thought of the level of education in Korea.


    Isn¡¯t it enough to just give a good grade? Yoon-woo thought that the self-introduction time earlier would be the first and last hardship in this class.


    But that was a hasty conclusion.


    Just a week later, after his registration correction period was over, the girl from the gym showed up in his classroom again.


    It was the first time Yoon-woo had experienced a lecture where he had to introduce himself at the beginning of the semester. This usually did not happen unless the lecture was mainly focused on conversation or discussion from the beginning.


    That alone made this lecture an unusual one, but I didn¡¯t know newcomers would be nominated and rescheduled again after the correction period.


    A self-introduction that virtually nobody wants and nobody cares about.


    If Yoon-woo had to do that, he would¡¯ve got sullen.


    But she was the chosen one.


    She was only wearing jeans and a T-shirt, yet she was more gorgeous than anyone in the classroom.


    The sports tank top she wore all the time at her gym revealed her hidden power that she was holding back.


    Perhaps that¡¯s why, compared to the off-the-shoulder top worn by a Bolivian professor, her white tee with a strange character on her chest looked far more sensational.


    When it was her turn to introduce, the classroom went quiet and everyone focused on her.


    Everyone wanted to remember her name, and everyone wondered about her voice.


    Yoon-woo might have vomited right away after receiving such attention. But her lips curled up forming a smile.


    She began to tell everyone with her fluent pronunciation what her major was and what she wanted to learn, but none of the contents reached Yoon-woo¡¯s ears.


    Because he heard the first words of her self-introduction and his face turned pale. The problem was her name.


    Her name was Hye-rim Cho.


    At 11:45, his class was over, and Yoon-woo escaped from the crowd of students waiting for their meal partner and returned to his own room.


    He came back and he thought. Her name, Cho Hye-rim, was a trigger that made him aware of the painful feelings from his childhood.


    It¡¯s a name I don¡¯t want to recall as much as possible, but the name that caught everyone¡¯s attention was similar to that girl, Cho Hye-rim, the 4th grader, whose name was the same.


    Could it be the same person? I couldn¡¯t tell since I didn¡¯t remember what Hye-rim Cho, a 4th grader, looked like.


    It wasn¡¯t very likely, but how likely could it be?


    The name Hye-rim wasn¡¯t as common as old names like Cheol-su Young-hee, but it wasn¡¯t unusual either.


    The more I thought about it, the more bitter I felt.


    He had no appetite, and he lay on his stomach with his face buried in the pillow for about an hour.


    After he lay there for a while, his heart calmed a little.


    If you think about it calmly, the only problem I face is that I feel bad when I see her.


    He thought that whether or not she was the same person as 4th grader Cho Hye-rim, there was no way Yoon-woo would ever meet her.


    Even if it were the same person as Cho Hye-rim, a fourth grader in elementary school, how many  problems would have arisen due to people¡¯s love and interest in her life?


    Regardless of her gender, she must have met and contacted countless people who could not be imagined¡­ ¡­ Perhaps even now, seniors who are willing to buy food for her are waiting in line for her to call.


    There is no way that she, who lives such a life, can remember Lee Yoon-woo who talked nonsense to her without knowing the subject when she was in elementary school.


    Even if she remembers, there is no way she can remember Yoon-woo from now.


    Yoon-woo can¡¯t even remember the young Hye-rim¡¯s face. So, if it were Hye-rim, she would have forgotten the face of a buggy person like Yoon-woo by the time she was in 5th grade.


    And, at least, as far as Yoon-woo knows, the only other economics students taking this class were the senior students who Yoon-woo did not know.


    Therefore, Hye-rim is not that big of a problem in the economics department.


    Except for the two mandatory freshman classes, economics, and modern business administration, all of the classes Yoon-woo took were major classes, so there was a very little chance of meeting Hye-rim in another class.


    It didn¡¯t matter if she remembered Lee Yoon-woo¡¯s name miraculously.


    Because Yoon-woo wouldn¡¯t even tell her his name. And, although the Bolivian female professor of economics class called the names of the people who attended before class, she had said that she couldn¡¯t pronounce the Korean names properly, so after half-way through the names, students couldn¡¯t help but laugh.


    Only the person who was called could know who she was calling.


    That¡¯s why, whenever she attends, she could not recognize Yoon-Woo Lee through the name the professor called him.


    To summarize, the most frightening situation for Yoon-woo is that Hye-rim Cho in the economics class is his elementary school classmate, who might remember Yoon-woo, and could bring up his childhood.


    But even if Hye-rim remembers Yoon-woo and even recognizes his face after going through a series of miraculous odds, Yoon-woo Lee is just a worm quietly wriggling in the corner.


    There is no gain for her to talk about me.


    Therefore, in the end, as long as Yoon-woo does not pay attention to Hye-rim, there will be no problem.


    After thinking for a long time like this, Yoon-woo, who was suddenly hungry, took out a can of mild tuna and poured the oil.


    He was planning to eat it quickly with a salad and go to the next class.


    After lying down in his bedroom and pondering, Yoon-woo concluded that he only had to be careful not to come in Hye-rim Cho¡¯s sight, only for 150 minutes a week, during the economics class on Mondays and Wednesdays from 10:30 to 11:45 in the morning.


    However, Yoon-woo found out that there was an error in this conclusion at 2 pm, when the 5th period began.


    He found out that she was also joining the Modern Business Administration class on Mondays and Wednesdays from 2:00 to 3:15 pm.


    Since it is a lecture with a large number of listeners, and attendance is not called until the course registration is corrected, he did not know whether she was there before the correction period or was a newcomer after that.


    This class was a liberal arts class for students from other departments, and it was a class that business administration students had to take. Attendance will be called in order of class number, so I learned that she was also a freshman like me.


    However, unlike the economics class with 60 students, it was difficult to figure out who sat where because about 450 students attended this lecture in a large classroom.


    Above all, you can¡¯t even see the person in front of you because of the chair with a long backrest that supports the back of your neck.


    In fact, one of the reasons Yoon-woo, who was not interested in business administration, took the course was because of the chair in this very classroom, which is known to be the most comfortable on the liberal arts campus.


    The professor of Modern Business Administration invited famous experts from various fields to give lectures, saying that freshmen should have a wide perspective, and the experts would share with them their experiences of when they worked at government agencies.


    There is a designated textbook, and the midterm and final exams are all written there, but they are not used in class.


    In short, it means that students who are not interested in anything other than grades can come to this class, fill their attendance scores, and sleep leaning on comfortable chairs.


    When I checked attendance for the first class since the class correction period, I felt bad for a moment because I heard the name Cho Hye-rim being called, but I was able to shake it off quickly.


    Whatever Cho Hye-rim does, Yoon-woo didn¡¯t want to take this class with his eyes open.


    Hye-rim won¡¯t be seen if he just dozes off or lean on the chair with his eyes closed.


    But there was something that Yoon-woo didn¡¯t think of.


    ¡°Oh, finally, everyone, this class is a fixed seating system. I can¡¯t call the attendance of all these people every hour, can I? In the future, if you sit in a reserved seat, the assistant will walk around to check attendance. The seats are randomly placed and printed by me on the back door, so make sure to check and sit there from next time. I¡¯m going to check attendance before class ends, so you know you can¡¯t leave, right? If you don¡¯t like the seat, please discuss it with the person in the seat you want to change and tell me.¡±


    Students rushed to the back door after class.


    Yoon-woo muttered to himself several times.


    ¡®I hope not. Don¡¯t tell me¡­No way, is it?¡¯


    It¡¯s funny.


    Another person wouldn¡¯t think of him even as a daughter-in-law passing by, but it was nevertheless so terrifying that she might be sitting near him.


    (T/N: As most daughter in laws¡¯ faces weren¡¯t rememberable to mother in laws, so here it means he would be unnoticed)


    Even if Yoon-woo is a daughter-in-law, he can forget that he is a daughter-in-law without someone like her.


    Life is good if you live and die alone in a shady place where there¡¯s no sunlight, whether you lived like a corpse or dust, that¡¯s a good life.


    I didn¡¯t want to feel the sun¡¯s light.


    I didn¡¯t want to know that there was a life where I had fun playing outside in the sun, not in the cramped cracks in the walls.


    I didn¡¯t want to see it even if I knew.


    The scenery only makes him more distressed, who can¡¯t escape the gap of the wall for the rest of his life.


    But if there is a God, and he is the kind of person who intentionally manages all odds, he probably wants him to swim in hot oil and burn to death.


    When I checked the posted seating chart, Yoon-woo was in the middle row, the left-most seat, and the name of the person sitting next to him was¡­It was Cho Hye-rim.


    ¡®If you don¡¯t like the seat, please talk to the person you want to change seats with and tell me.¡¯


    The professor said so, but Yoon-woo didn¡¯t know anyone in this class, so there was no one to ask for a change of seats. And, there was no excuse to ask for a change.


    I briefly thought that there would be someone to take the seat if I yelled about Cho Hye-rim, a freshman in business administration, and the right to sit next to her for a semester, but Yoon-woo can¡¯t do that, and college students can¡¯t express their secret desires in public.


    ¡®How can this be? How does my life keep getting twisted? I just wanted to hang in here for three years.¡¯


    Yoon-woo, who returned to his room, lamented alone for a long time and sent a kakaotalk to Bunny.


    It was not until 9:30 p.m. that Bunny replied to me using a voice chat application.


    [Tofu, hi!]


    ¡°What, why are you already drunk?¡±


    [I woke up a little early today and started drinking! I didn¡¯t see the message because I was drinking!]


    ¡°What did you drink with today?¡±


    [Chicken! Tofu, what did you have for dinner?]


    ¡°I¡­¡­.¡±


    So, Yoon-woo continued to talk about trivial things with Bunny.


    Yoon-woo, who normally would have stopped talking to Bunny and went to sleep, didn¡¯t even think about quitting the app and just stayed quiet, so Bunny quickly realized that Yoon-woo was not in a good mood as usual.


    [Tofu, did something bad happen today?]


    ¡°It¡¯s just, it¡¯s not a big deal, but I¡¯m feeling down.¡±


    It won¡¯t be a big deal for anyone other than Yoon-woo.


    It¡¯s probably nothing. Some might say it¡¯s a good thing.


    To someone who lives in the sun.


    [Do you want to sleep with this on?]


    ¡°This? You want me to leave the app on. Then the phone bill¡­¡­. Oh, this isn¡¯t a phone call.¡±


    [Yeah! We don¡¯t have to say much to each other, but if you hear people moving around, you can calm down! I¡¯m alone in this small room, what do you think?]


    ¡°Well¡­¡­it¡¯s good¡­¡­.¡±


    Bunny¡¯s suggestion was better than I thought.


    I was lying still, and I heard the sound of the shower next to me, and I heard the sound of typing, and the noises of living gave me a strange sense of relief.


    Come to think of it, Bunny was very considerate that she was stuck in the room.


    A kid like that would be able to hang out with people somehow, unlike me, but what kind of story am I gonna tell her when she¡¯s going to die? Yoon-woo fell asleep thinking about that.


    And Bunny put her earphones in her ears and listened to the sound of Yoon-woo¡¯s breathing

 Chapter 4

    On Monday, the seating arrangement for Modern Business Administration class came out, and Yoon-woo felt uneasy for the next few days.


    But when the class started on Wednesday, he realized that, contrary to his worries, there was no need to worry too much about Hye-rim Cho sitting next to him.


    Isn¡¯t it common in life when you can¡¯t sleep at night because you are worried about something and can¡¯t do anything all day since you are anxious about something to happen but when it happens it is not that big of a deal.


    Hye-rim Cho, who was sitting next to him, fell asleep in less than 5 minutes just after the class started.


    What the hell was I worried about? Hye-rim Cho, I think she doesn¡¯t even remember what the Professor looks like, let alone me.


    There were not many glances at Hye-rim like in the economics class.


    In the spacious lecture hall, the long seminar chairs blocked the view, and basically most of the students were dozing.


    Only the female student sitting next to Hye-rim¡¯s right looked at Hye-rim, who had fallen asleep at the speed of light, with an absurd expression.


    Only a few enthusiastic students and unlucky students who had been assigned a seat right in front of the Professor had their eyes opened and they were attending the class properly. No matter how bright Cho Hye-rim was, even if she was like the sun, it was of no use in front of the Professor¡¯s lullaby.


    After all, the sun naturally goes down when the night comes.


    Yoon-woo felt relieved and tired. For a second, he thought about taking the class like some passionate students, but¡­¡­.


    ¡°Management is everywhere. For example, in the Palaeolithic, humans made fires and knocked stones¡­ ¡­ and business administration can be applied there too.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t really afford to listen to the Professor¡¯s talk about business administration from the Palaeolithic era.


    The title of the lecture is Modern Business Administration. How long will I have to wait for the time to make the transition from the Palaeolithic era to the modern era?


    Besides, the time is 2 PM, when humans feel sleepy the most¡­ ¡­ .


    Yoon-woo, who had fallen asleep like that, did not notice that Hye-rim, who woke up, was staring at him.


    ***


    Next Monday, economics class took an unexpected turn of events which came as a big shock to Yoon-woo.


    Just like what you were worried about can turn out to be not a big deal, what you were relieved about can instead turn out to be a big deal.


    Until now, Yoon-woo thought that economics was a perfect major for him.


    This is because there was little chance for group projects to come out in economics classes.


    Most of the assignments were to solve problems in textbooks or practice questions given by Professors, and outsiders like Yoon-woo, who did not study or do club activities, had no problem doing the assignments by themselves because they had a lot of time to review.


    Major classes with team projects are very rare in the Department of Economics, so you can check the review sites and avoid most of them.


    But I didn¡¯t expect this Bolivian Professor to give us a team project.


    The content of the project was to share and solve the four exercises that the Professor gives each week with the team.


    It is said that the Professor will review the process of the solution whether it is correct or not, and give extra points to the group which has particularly good answers.


    But the most important thing is¡­¡­. Make a group of at least two people on your own and submit the project to the Professor.


    Why? No matter how difficult the principle level exercises were, it wouldn¡¯t take long to solve them alone if you were to solve them while referring to the theory books in the library.


    I thought it was not required for the team to do this task. Maybe this was why there was no mention of team projects on the course review site?


    Does the Professor perceive Korea as a developing country of the 1960s?


    Does she think that students from underdeveloped countries like Korea can only solve problems of the principle level exercises by putting their heads together?


    Or is it because the Professor has a shady hobby to bother the students who are outsiders like Yoon-woo, so that is why she intentionally made them introduce themselves in English or make meaningless team projects?


    Or is it that Bolivia is a happy country, so they can¡¯t even imagine that there are students who can¡¯t form a team and are left out?


    Yoon-woo continued thinking like this.


    ¡°Hey, uh¡­ ¡­ Perhaps¡­ ¡­ Do you happen to take modern business administration class?¡±


    Yoon-woo turned around and saw a beautiful woman with elongated limbs, wearing skinny jeans and a red hoodie with a large leopard on her back, the symbol of the college.


    Surprisingly, it was Hye-rim. What is surprising is that, because he didn¡¯t like the atmosphere of the students of the Department of Food and Resource Economics, who are noisy among themselves, Yoon-woo barely arrives in the classroom right before class starts, checks the vacancy, and sits in the seat farthest from Hye-rim.


    In other words, Hye-rim who is here now came to talk to Yoon-woo, who is sitting far away from her seat.


    ¡°It looks like you¡¯re sitting next to me¡­ ¡­ right? The leftmost corner of the middle row.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Yes, that¡¯s right.¡±


    Hye-rim¡¯s expression brightened up after hearing Yoon-woo¡¯s answer. Yoon-woo was thinking, ¡®When did you see me when you were always sleeping?¡¯


    ¡°If you don¡¯t have a group yet, why don¡¯t you join me? It¡¯s a group project after all.¡±


    ¡®No, I don¡¯t want to. I¡¯d rather just do it alone than to do it with you.¡¯ But I couldn¡¯t.


    Even if they met each other for the first time, he had to be courteous.


    Outsiders who don¡¯t have any self-respect should not lose their courtesy in any situation because they are easy to get bullied by if gotten on anyone¡¯s bad side even for trivial things.


    Unfortunately, there was no way for Yoon-woo to politely reject Hye-rim¡¯s offer in this situation.


    It was obvious that Yoon-woo was the only one taking that economics class with her in the whole class now, and there was no justification to refuse her and look for another partner.


    And Yoon-woo was not good at finding a suitable lie to reject others¡¯ suggestions.


    Then the answer is to finish the conversation as soon as possible.


    ¡°Sure. Then, how about we take two questions each and then go over it and submit it?¡±


    So, I decided to have a professional relationship with her as much as possible.


    If I divide the roles well and solve the problems only through Kakao Talk, I might be saved from talking to her again after this time.


    ¡°Yes! My name is Cho Hye-rim! You are¡­¡­.¡±


    It was time for Hye-rim to ask Yoon-woo¡¯s name.


    ¡°Hey, I¡¯m sorry, but can you let me in? I¡¯m alone, too.¡±


    A handsome boy with a two-block haircut interrupted the conversation.


    Were you aiming for Hye-rim? It went well for me anyway.


    When a man like that came in, my presence in this team project would decrease sharply, and I could just quietly solve the problems and remain conspicuous.


    Yoon-woo was willing to accept the man¡¯s offer.


    But even before Yoon-woo could talk, Hye-rim replied to the man.


    ¡°There are four questions, wouldn¡¯t it be easier to have even numbers? I¡¯m sorry, but I think it¡¯ll be more comfortable for just the two of us to do it. I¡¯m very sorry.¡±


    Hye-rim rejected the man¡¯s proposal.


    Is there any reason to say no? Isn¡¯t it more convenient if there are more people and fewer problems to do per person?


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ Wouldn¡¯t it be more convenient if there were more people¡­ ¡­ . Isn¡¯t it better to do 2 questions, 1 question, 1 question at a time?¡±


    The man seems to think the same as Yoon-woo.


    ¡°The problem isn¡¯t that difficult, but if there are a lot of people, the responsibility is dispersed, and I might delay the problems because of my prior appointments or personal schedules, and I don¡¯t like having someone else do it for me, and I don¡¯t want something like that to happen.So, I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    Hye-rim said in a very determined tone.


    The man left with a regretful expression saying he had lost the energy to persuade Hye-rim anymore.


    Yun-woo seemed to know about Hye-rim¡¯s intentions.


    When doing group assignments, there is a chance to get such a handsome person as a team member who might just fool around and result in no time for them to review the answer, forcing someone else to take over.


    In that respect, a nerd who has no friends like Yoon-woo, who doesn¡¯t do extracurricular activities, and only goes to the library, is the right person to efficiently carry out group assignments.


    Hye-rim must have approached with certainty that Yoon-woo was such an outsider.


    ¡°Sorry. I rejected it.¡±


    ¡°No, apparently you have a good point.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t talk with me so formally, you can call me Hye-rim. By the way¡­ ¡­ What is your name?¡±


    In Yoon-woo¡¯s mind, for a moment, Cho Hye-rim, a 4th grader, and various possibilities that he was worried about came quickly.


    But if Hye-rim had tried to pretend she knew Yoon-woo, she would have done it sooner.


    Considering the current atmosphere, he thought that the things he was worried about would not happen, and he shook off his anxiety.


    ¡°It¡¯s Lee Yoon-woo.¡±


    ¡°Lee Yoon-woo¡­ Yes, Yoon-woo. Can I have your number?¡±


    Hye-rim called Yoon-woo¡¯s phone and Yoon-woo registered her number.


    Yoon-woo hoped that the semester would end soon and the day would come when he could erase this number.


    In the end, Hye-rim wrote down the confirmed list of team members and submitted it.


    To be fair, Yoon-woo decided to solve 2 questions each, questions 2nd and 4th for him, and questions 1st and 3rd for her, and post the answers on KakaoTalk by the weekend.


    Now it¡¯s safe to say that there will be no actual meeting and conversation.


    If you are in business-related conversations, Yoon-woo can also reduce the feeling of falling into a sense of inferiority.


    As soon as he left the classroom after class, Yoon-woo¡¯s Kakao Talk, which had nothing to ring during the day, rang.


    -Nice to meet you, Yoon-woo! Thank you.


    -(emoticon)


    A cute cat character who is popular among insiders these days is making a fuss.


    Yoon-woo, who felt bad just by looking at it, realized that he was not a normal human being, and sent a kakaotalk in a professional way.


    -Yes, I look forward to your kind cooperation.


    Then, Yoon-woo had his meal in five minutes in his living room and headed straight to the library.


    It is also frustrating to divide such problems in half and wait until the other person solves them.


    In addition, the saying that an insider who is likely to have a lot of appointments in the group project is not a good team member also applies to Hye-rim.


    While she is busy with various gatherings, Yoon-woo would be comfortable to solve all of the tasks from the beginning rather than examining whether the problem that she has been solving in a hurry is correct or not.


    There is about an hour and a half left until the modern management class, which starts at 2 o¡¯clock, so I was going to take it easy.


    However, since the first problem was a problem related to the beginning of the theory, it took less than 40 minutes to complete the problem no matter how meticulously, beautifully, and detailed explanation of the concept I did.


    ¡®I have nothing more to do.¡¯


    Yoon-woo took a picture of the problem¡¯s solution and sent it to Hye-rim, and headed to the modern business administration classroom early.


    He thought he was going to sleep on the best sleeping chair on liberal arts campus.


    Five minutes before the start of modern business administration class, I woke up to the sound of someone calling Yoon-woo.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, did you sleep well? The Professor will be here soon.¡±


    It was Hye-rim.


    As soon as he opened his eyes, Hye-rim¡¯s pretty face was in front of him and he felt grumpy.


    Yoon-woo, who had a sense of inferiority, basically hated people who are pretty and handsome, so he tried not to put them in sight.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t see Kakaotalk because you were sleeping. How could you solve all the problems by yourself already? Sorry. I bought this to give to Yoon-woo.¡±


    Iced Americano and Macaron. Looking at the name written on the packaging of the macaron, it is a cafe in the basement of the central plaza, near the reading room.


    The iced Americano sold there is 2,800 won, and the macaron is 3,000 won, for a total of 5,800 won.


    A can of mild tuna that Yoon-woo ate for lunch today was 1,200 won, and a salad was 2,700 won, a total of 3,900 won. In other words, it was a dessert that was 1,900 won more expensive than Yoon-woo¡¯s one meal.


    It¡¯s such a luxurious reward for solving a problem that can be solved in less than 10 minutes if you roughly solve it.


    ¡°It¡¯s just¡­ ¡­ It¡¯s a problem that can be solved easily, so I solved it. I feel pressured if you give me this.¡±


    ¡°Hey, what¡¯s wrong with a cup of coffee? If it¡¯s a burden, next time, don¡¯t solve it alone, let¡¯s solve it together!¡±


    ¡°If it is easy, I¡¯d do it as it would be faster¡­ ¡­ okay?¡±


    ¡°Then, I will try to finish the assignment as much as I can on the day it comes out.¡±


    For her, coffee and dessert, which are more expensive than Yoon-woo¡¯s one meal, seem to be commonly used as the word ¡®a cup of coffee¡¯.


    Then, how much does it take for her ¡®one meal¡¯?


    While Yoon-woo hastily pours a can of salad and tuna into his stomach, does she go on a college food tour with her friends?


    Yoon-woo himself, who felt inferior to each of these things, didn¡¯t like it, and he didn¡¯t like Hye-rim, who made him feel inferior.


    ¡°But there¡­ ¡­ Mr. Yoon-woo,¡±


    And because of Hye-rim¡¯s next words, Yoon-woo started to hate Hye-rim even more.


    ¡°Yoon-woo has a very pretty voice.¡±


    The voice is Yoon-woo¡¯s biggest complex.


    Yoon-woo was teased for his feminine voice.


    If you think about it, the voices of young children who haven¡¯t even gone through the metamorphosis, girls or boys, can you find a particularly feminine voice among them?


    However, because of that, Yoon-woo thought his voice was a ¡®specially strange¡¯ voice.


    It was the same even after the puberty period. The voice he heard in his own ears seemed completely different from his typical male student voice.


    He wanted to record it and listen to it, but he didn¡¯t have the courage to face his disgusting voice.


    But why the hell does this woman say this to him in the first meeting?


    It¡¯s not even ¡®You have a nice voice¡¯, it¡¯s ¡®You have a pretty voice¡¯.


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­ Yes¡­ ¡­.¡±


    It was the best Yoon-woo could do to answer this and turn his head.


    Not saying thank you was the greatest protest that Yoon-woo could possibly show.


    Because some compliments are just compliments on their appearance. It is convenient to respond silently to such praise.


    Hye-rim seemed to say something more, but Yoon-woo didn¡¯t want to hear it.


    So, he took a big bite of the macaron she gave him and indicated that the conversation was impossible.


    Then Hye-rim looked at Yoon-woo with a happy expression.


    Ah, Yoon-woo knows that expression.


    The expression on her face is when Hye-rim Cho, the fourth grader in elementary school, receives a request from the teacher and becomes intoxicated by the position of her class leader, and when she sympathizes with Yoon-woo.


    Yoon-woo closed his eyes, swallowing the same humiliation and misery inside him again.


    It¡¯s best that he doesn¡¯t say anything.


    Yoon-woo couldn¡¯t fall asleep in today¡¯s modern business administration class.

 Chapter 5

    After the modern business administration class, Yoon-woo ran out of the classroom and fell on the bed in his cramped room for several hours.


    ¡®Yoon-woo has a very pretty voice.¡¯


    What was that expression she said that with?


    Was the smile on her lips a sneer? Or was it her compassionate smile?


    No matter how many times he thought about it, his heart ached.


    ¡®I wish I could disappear right now.¡¯


    [Tofu, are you not feeling well today?]


    Yoon-woo was in the middle of voice chatting with Bunny today as well.


    ¡°How did you know?¡±


    [It¡¯s just that you don¡¯t talk much and sigh a lot more than usual.]


    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s just like that these days.¡±


    [Then shall I sing you a song? Mountain~Rabbit Rabbit~ Where are you going~?]


    Bunny started singing without waiting for Yoon-woo to reply, and eventually completed the nursery rhyme.


    The song, sung with Bunny¡¯s characteristic high tone and a slightly exhilarating voice, was cute and funny at the same time.


    It seems that we lived in another dimension where we didn¡¯t worry about things that were going on in our lives, and Bunny was kind enough to respect my privacy and did not ask what is going on with your life and things.


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Have you been drinking?¡±


    [Ugh. I haven¡¯t drunk yet! I sang a song to tell you to cheer up! Excuse me!]


    ¡°No. I¡¯m just saying. Thank you for your singing. But, uh¡­ ¡­. Bunny?¡±


    [Huh!]


    ¡°We¡¯ve been getting along well without knowing deeply about each other until now, but I don¡¯t know if I can suddenly ask this question¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [I¡¯m fine. Didn¡¯t I ever tell you to ask?]


    ¡°Yes you did. Then, don¡¯t mind me asking this. Why does bunny want to die?¡±


    [Huh?]


    ¡°When I talk to you, I can feel that you are kind and considerate. Even if I¡¯m feeling a little low, you immediately recognize it and talk to me. You know how to suddenly sing a funny song to lighten the mood. No matter how much I think about it, you would be the type of person who would be popular with the people around you, but I was wondering why you wanted to die.¡±


    [It¡¯s funny¡­ ¡­. I really think about that too. And I don¡¯t really want to die, you know?]


    ¡°What? Then why are you doing this with me?¡±


    [I said I didn¡¯t want to die; I was looking for someone to die with!]


    ¡°You don¡¯t want to die, but why are you looking for someone to die with? ¡­ ¡­ Can you help me understand?¡±


    [Simply put, I don¡¯t like people who would go out to meet other women after I die. If you really loved me, wouldn¡¯t it be natural for you to die after I died because wouldn¡¯t it be too lonely to live in the world in which I¡¯ve died? If it were me, and if the other person dies, I will surely die with him. So, I was looking for someone I could die with.]


    Yoon-woo thought that the bunny might be more insane than he thought.


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­. Then you have a different purpose than me, don¡¯t you think? Because you don¡¯t want to die.¡±


    [No, I chose Tofu as the person to die with, so it doesn¡¯t matter. When Tofu wants to die, I will die with you!]


    ¡°Are you saying that I was the ¡®person¡¯ you just talked about? You don¡¯t know what I look like, how old I am, or what I¡¯m doing?¡±


    [Are you not a college student? Well, those are all trivial things before death. And you were the only one I was looking for.]


    ¡°What kind of person is that?¡±


    [Someone who wants to die and agreed to die with me without any ulterior motives .]


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­.¡±


    He seemed to know what she meant. Even when Yoon-woo was wandering around suicide-related open chat rooms, there were men who thought Yoon-woo¡¯s tone was feminine and thought he was a woman. I didn¡¯t even reveal my voice clearly, but I don¡¯t know why they thought I was a woman after only seeing the message. Even in such a situation where the gender is ambiguous, there are surprisingly many beasts living in the world.


    [Once I opened the chat room and the guy said he wants to do it once before we die, because he¡¯s lonely. So, he suggested we go to a club together. You were the only one who was pure.]


    ¡°But didn¡¯t you also ask me to meet you for a drink?¡±


    [That¡­ ¡­ I just tested it. Was it because the reason you approached me was for sexuality, or because you had a serious desire to die together.]


    ¡°Isn¡¯t there still someone who fits both of your criterias? He has a sexual desire and seriously wants to die with you. I think it might be found among people who only want to have sex once before they die?¡±


    [There is no such person.]


    Bunny¡¯s voice sank down coldly.


    [When I die, instead of following me, they will soon find someone else. Someone else to satisfy their needs.]


    Taking a deep breath, Bunny continued her speech.


    [My dad is like that too¡­ ¡­He was a perfect lover when my mom was alive. He bought flowers for her every day. Every morning he said he loved her¡­ ¡­ But after my mother died, he immediately remarried with another woman. They have two kids now. Two kids other than me. So, for that person, love was sexuality. Such people can find love in anyone. The ones who can love anyone can¡¯t love anyone.]


    Bunny¡¯s voice had a calm tone as cool and sharp as a knife that was just sharpened on a whetstone.


    It was in contrast to her usual gentle voice. For the first time, Yoon-woo felt afraid after hearing bunny¡¯s voice.


    ¡°Excuse me¡­ ¡­ But what you want is¡­ ¡­ Aren¡¯t you supposed to do it with someone you love so much? Like Romeo and Juliet. Is it okay if you blindly choose someone like me?¡±


    [How do you know that Romeo and Juliet loved each other so much?]


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ that¡­ ¡­ The author expressed it that way¡­ ¡­.¡±


    [How did the author express that they loved each other? He literally killed them both right?]


    ¡°Ah, yeah¡­ ¡­ as a result, they died.¡±


    She continued her speech with a youthful voice again, but the content became more and more strange for Yoon-woo to hear.


    [To love to the point of death, after all, is something that you won¡¯t know until you die. My father, who said he loved my mother to death, remarried as soon as my mother died, right? Instead of dying along with her. Conversely, if someone dates each other and dies together¡­ ¡­. That¡¯s love! Much more sacred than my father¡¯s love¡­ ¡­.]


    [Anyone can talk about love only with words. Dating, having sex, and throwing presents, it doesn¡¯t matter. The only thing that really matters is death. I can¡¯t say I love you until we die together.]


    For Yoon-woo, it was a love affair that felt a little creepy.


    What does she mean? The story of loving someone so much that they even want to die together was acceptable.


    But since death is love, you want someone to die with you first to prove love.


    ¡°Even if Bunny¡¯s saying that ¡®The most important thing is death¡¯ is true, shouldn¡¯t we start with our feelings and check it?¡±


    Can I say that I love her just by dying with her?


    [Isn¡¯t love implied in saying we want to die together? Feelings come next.]


    ¡°I¡¯ve never had any feelings for Bunny. No, not only to you, but to no one¡­ ¡­. Because I never imagined living well with anyone.¡±


    [But have you ever dreamed of dying with me? So, we¡¯ve already had the deepest relationship in each other¡¯s lives.]


    ¡°That¡­ ¡­ Huh?¡±


    [Then,]


    He was confused.


    Normally, when I came home with a disturbed mind, I calmed myself down by listening to Bunny¡¯s chatter, but today after talking with Bunny, I became more disturbed to the point that I couldn¡¯t remember what Hye-rim said earlier.


    [Then can I ask Tofu for something?]


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ uh? what? Uh, yes. ask.¡±


    What is the question she wants to ask following this story? Yoon-woo was a little perplexed at the thought of that, but the next question was completely unexpected.


    [What kind of woman is your ideal type?]


    ¡°Ideal type? uh¡­ ¡­. As I just said, I didn¡¯t even think about dating a girl, so I don¡¯t really know¡­ ¡­.¡±


    [Then you haven¡¯t even kissed yet?]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Huh?¡±


    [Then shall I meet you and do it with you? Don¡¯t worry! It¡¯s my first time too!]


    ¡°What? Oh, is this still a test?¡±


    [No!! Tofu has already passed all the tests]


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ it¡¯s only a kiss. So, it¡¯s okay.¡±


    [Why? Are you afraid that I might be ugly? Or am I not upto your liking?]


    ¡°No, I just don¡¯t want to meet you for that purpose.¡±


    [After all, Tofu is so pure. I¡¯m glad Tofu chats with me. Heh heh.]


    A chill crept up Yoon-woo¡¯s spine at the sound of her laughter.


    Yoon-woo, who quit the app saying he was going to take a shower, couldn¡¯t erase the feeling of dread after the conversation with Bunny was over.


    He thought for a moment that he might have to stop contacting Bunny now.


    All he needs to do is to open a new kakaotalk account and a voice chat app account. Because she still doesn¡¯t know Yoon-woo¡¯s phone number or name.


    But as he pondered, he had no reason to block Bunny.


    Although Bunny¡¯s values were a little burdensome, her purpose and Yoon-woo¡¯s purpose were still not in conflict.


    Anyway, she doesn¡¯t pour out her feelings to others, and she is a caring friend who listens to Yoon-woo and always asks how he is feeling today.


    Come to think of it, how many of those who would commit suicide have a healthy mind? But among them, Bunny was a particularly good person.


    How much time has he spent with Bunny, but he¡¯s trying to end this relationship just because of a moment of silliness¡­ ¡­?


    Even though it had been more than half a year since he met Bunny, Yoon-woo kept his vigilance toward her as a stranger in one corner of his heart, but now he did not want to imagine himself dying alone without Bunny.


    She¡¯s such a good girl, and if she wants to call her death as love, there¡¯s nothing that even little Yoon-woo can do.


    A will to show his parents could be more plausible.


    What we need to worry about now is not the issue of a nice girl like Bunny, but how to minimize contact with Cho Hye-rim.


    * * *


    Two days after that, it was economics principle time.


    ¡°Why are you sitting so far away? You make me sad.¡±


    Said Hye-rim packing her luggage and following Yoon-woo who was sitting far away from her.


    Definitely, Cho Hye-rim was more of a problem than Bunny.


    When Yoon-woo heard, ¡°Yoon-woo has a pretty voice,¡± he thought she might be trying to look down on Yoon-woo and tease him or sympathize with him.


    You want to get prideful of yourself by showing mercy to Yoon-woo, who is walking around alone, like Cho Hye-rim, a fourth grader in elementary school, right?


    So, Yoon-woo wanted to avoid her as much as he could.


    ¡°Oh¡­¡­ I came late, so I sat down in a hurry. That¡¯s why.¡±


    ¡°Is your house far from here? Who do you live with?¡±


    ¡°Not much. I live alone, but I went back to sleep after exercising in the morning.¡±


    ¡°Where do you work out? What sports? ¡±


    ¡°Just some simple exercises at the gym.¡±


    ¡°The one at the school?¡±


    ¡°Yes, that¡¯s right.¡±


    ¡°Oh, my God! I go there too!¡±


    ¡®I know. Please stop talking to me¡¯¡­Yoon-woo was thinking in his mind.


    I want to stop the conversation with the least courtesy, but the conversation continues constantly.


    Is that the power of insiders? Is the Bolivian Professor taking a dump? Why the hell isn¡¯t she coming to class?


    Yoon-woo was thinking like that.


    ¡°Hey, I¡¯ll come early and save you a seat. Let¡¯s sit down and cooperate. We¡¯re the team members for a semester after all.¡±


    While I was thinking about how to be polite with the words ¡°no,¡± I couldn¡¯t even refuse properly because the Professor came.


    Why is this woman so entangled with Yoon-woo?


    Yoon-woo suddenly thought, ¡®Maybe she¡¯s not teasing or pitying, but she¡¯s really thoughtless.¡¯


    Yoon-woo was aware that he can expand the interpretation of other people¡¯s intentions sometimes.


    Insiders somehow give unintentional compliments and continue conversations with useless topics to maintain their relationship without any intention with someone.


    Whether the other person likes it or not, he or she basically tries to maintain a good relationship, so he or she uses various conversation skills as if he or she is breathing.


    What about Cho Hye-rim, the ultimate insider?


    Wouldn¡¯t she be habitually using her interpersonal skills to continue a good relationship with Lee Yoon-woo, an outsider who seems to be leading the group project?


    It is much more reasonable to think so.


    It presupposes interest in the other person, whether favourable or hostile.


    There is no way that someone like Cho Hye-rim is interested in Yoon-woo.


    He¡¯ll probably be her chimpanzee taking the classes next to her.


    ¡®What are you going to have for lunch?¡¯


    She will continue the conversation naturally after the class too.


    Thinking that way, I became ashamed of myself for being overly conscious of Hye-rim.


    Yoon-woo decided to widen his mental distance instead of physical distance from her.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, what are you having for lunch?¡±


    When the class was over, Hye-rim asked Yoon-woo.


    Yoon-woo was hoping she would stop asking questions.


    ¡°I¡¯m eating in my room.¡±


    I don¡¯t have money and friends. I wanted to add that.


    ¡°Then would you like to have lunch with me today? My friend ditched me as she got some work to do. Oh, not just today, but¡­¡­.¡±


    It¡¯s difficult.


    Everything was difficult.


    The biggest problem was that there was no money.


    Yoon-woo calculated the cost of food to buy tuna cans, pork back legs, and salads in advance, and was putting all the rest of the money into an autonomous instalment savings account.


    The goal was to be able to cover the expenses incurred after Yoon-woo¡¯s suicide.


    Therefore, if you spend more than 4,000 won per meal, you will have to starve for other meals.


    I starved a few times on Sundays last month since I had no cash because I had already saved all that money.


    What is Hye-rim¡¯s favourite menu? How many meals would Yoon-woo have to skip if he eats with someone who spends 5,800 won for dessert?


    Secondly, what kind of menu will Yoon-woo have to eat with Cho Hye-rim?


    Yoon-woo has lived here for more than half a year, but he hardly knew where and what was good because he had never eaten outside.


    What if she asks, ¡®Yoon-woo, is there a place you like?¡¯


    She¡¯ll probably ask, surely.


    Anyone can tell that Yoon-woo is a nerd outsider, but he didn¡¯t want to confess with his own mouth, ¡°I haven¡¯t been anywhere.¡±


    Third, what will Yoon-woo talk about with her when he eats?


    Yoon-woo doesn¡¯t watch dramas, movies, and does not participate in the department or club.


    Not only Cho Hye-rim but also whoever he brings with him won¡¯t overlap with him.


    Oh, it might be okay if you¡¯re Bunny who talks excitedly, who¡¯s also good at talking.


    And I was just scared of the time I spent with Cho Hye-rim.


    ¡®Don¡¯t you think Yoon-woo is messy when he eats?¡¯


    ¡®I shouldn¡¯t have asked him to eat with me. He eats terribly.¡¯ What if she thinks like that?


    ¡®It¡¯s awkward. Why is he talking so boringly?¡¯ What if she¡¯s bored to death?


    It¡¯s best not to hang out with beautiful people.


    It¡¯s especially heart-breaking and sad to face the fact that beautiful people hate them, outsiders like Yoon-woo.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m short of living expenses. It¡¯d be hard to eat outside.¡±


    I think it¡¯s almost the only excuse I can make, even though I say I am a beggar. However, Hye-rim did not step down easily.


    ¡°Well, how about the snack you choose? It¡¯s the best value for the money! Don¡¯t you like tteokbokki? It¡¯s 4,000 won per person even if we two eat a lot. What do you think?¡±


    ¡®Oh, please¡­ Why are you doing this to me?¡¯


    Does she know my personality and want to enjoy my difficulties?


    As Hye-rim said, it is famous for its cost-effectiveness.


    Yoon-woo knows it. But it¡¯s crowded with students at lunchtime.


    Besides, someone like Cho Hye-rim wants to eat tteokbokki for Yoon-woo¡¯s budget. I can¡¯t believe I have to eat tteokbokki with sauce on the other side of my mouth with a kid like that sitting down¡­¡­.


    But what excuse should I use to reject Hye-rim¡¯s suggestion? ¡®I don¡¯t like tteokbokki. I want to go home.¡¯


    A person at the center of everyone, like Hye-rim, recommended Yoon-woo, and he had to reject it. Considering his financial situation she made another suggestion, but to reject it again, a reasonable reason is needed.


    If he refuses without giving a reason, Yoon-woo will definitely be screwed sometime in the future.


    It is a fact that Yoon-woo learned from experience.


    ¡°Yes, then¡­¡­ let¡¯s do it.¡±


    In the end, Yoon-woo had to give up.


    The scene of lunch with Hye-rim painted in Yoon-woo¡¯s head was miserable and disastrous.

 Chapter 6

    ¡°Yoon-woo, you didn¡¯t retake the exam and repeat a year, did you?¡±


    Coming out of the classroom with Yoon-woo, Hye-rim asked Yoon-woo.


    ¡°No. Why?¡±


    ¡°Then why don¡¯t we talk informally now? We¡¯re the same age and in the same grade, and it¡¯s so awkward.¡±


    ¡®No, I want to keep you awkward and out of touch.¡¯


    ¡°Do you really need to? We¡¯re only doing assignments together.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean we¡¯re only doing assignments together? That would be disappointing. We¡¯re taking classes together, right? Two of us! And now we¡¯re going to eat together. So let it go, will you?¡±


    Can I say that we take those two ¡¯classes¡¯ together?


    In modern business administration class, Hye-rim and I only sleep on the chairs, and Hye-rim¡¯s friend changed plans so we are only eating together for today.¡­it really depends on what she says.


    People who offer Yoon-woo something are often just asking him once out of courtesy, so it was the first time anyone pushed him to this point of rejection.


    ¡°Uh¡­¡­ sure.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean, Yoon-woo? You¡¯re gonna say yes, aren¡¯t you?


    ¡°Uh¡­¡­ yes¡­¡­¡­ Yeah.¡±


    It was the worst.


    What was the worst was that everything that happened from the moment she asked me to eat together in the classroom was the worst.


    First of all, the distance from the lecture hall on the science campus where the economics principles class was held was quite far from the snack bar.


    So, there were too many people looking at Hye-rim and Yoon-woo.


    I¡¯m sure they looked at Hye-rim and saw me while looking at her.


    And the problem was that I couldn¡¯t find anything to say no to Hye-rim¡¯s suggestion to speak informally as soon as I got out of the classroom.


    As she got comfortable talking, Hye-rim bombarded Yoon-woo with questions.


    What¡¯s your major? Did you join any club? What other classes do you take?


    There was no end to questions.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, do you usually cook in your own room?¡±


    ¡°No, I just order a large salad with a little meat.¡±


    ¡°What a diet! That¡¯s why you¡¯re so fit. And I¡¯m so fat. I have to go on a diet, but I can¡¯t stand my appetite.¡­ But I think Yoon-woo needs to eat a little more. It¡¯s okay now, though.¡±


    As a super insider, Hye-rim naturally mixes words, praising Yoon-woo in between conversations.


    The moment you truly accept these compliments, you fall into the abyss.


    This is a kind of conversation template.


    Praise is just a sign of wanting to maintain a favourable relationship with the other person, not necessarily telling the truth.


    Insiders exchange compliments as naturally as ¡®I¡¯m fine, thank you and you?¡¯ and comes after ¡®How are you?¡¯


    In other words, it is time for Yoon-woo to pay Hye-rim back her compliments.


    ¡°You¡¯re not on a diet but still you¡¯re skinny. And, you work out so hard. Shouldn¡¯t you pay more attention to eating? I¡¯m just eating like that because I don¡¯t have any living expenses.¡±


    Did I do a good job?


    Now, Yoon-woo¡¯s conversation with Hye-rim was like a test to choose the right answer to the question.


    ¡°Huh? ¡®So hard?¡¯ Yoon-woo, have you seen me working out?¡±


    ¡®Oops¡­I made a mistake.¡¯


    Yoon-woo intuitively felt that he had chosen the wrong answer.


    ¡°Oh¡­¡­ yes. I¡¯ve been in the weight zone a few times during summer vacation.¡±


    I¡¯m sure you¡¯re creeped out. ¡®What if someone like you reports me for sexual harassment? Then do I have to kill myself right now before I bother my parents? If I was reported for sexual harassment, then Bunny wouldn¡¯t get to die with me.¡¯


    A lot of anxiety passed through Yoon-woo¡¯s head for a short time, as he thought he had chosen the wrong answer.


    ¡°Oh, right. We go to the same gym, right? I¡¯m so embarrassed. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve seen me chubby. It must have been ugly because I was covered in sweat with no makeup on.¡­.¡±


    Yoon-woo realized that he almost made the same mistake while trying to answer, ¡®Not at all¡¯


    Those are not the words of humility, but it¡¯s a trap that says,¡¯Confess how closely you looked at me, you pervert.¡¯


    Insiders¡¯ conversations are psychological warfare.


    In fact, Yoon-woo has never been an insider, but she is.


    Yoon-woo should be more careful in talking to each other as he has no experience.


    Every word of Zhuge Liang, who went alone as an envoy to Wu, should be regarded as a trap.


    (Zhuge Liang= Chinese strategist )


    ¡°I just remembered the first time I saw a woman working out in the weight zone. I didn¡¯t take a closer look.¡±


    ¡°You didn¡¯t look closely? Well, I see ¡­. you are not the type to pay attention to others. What do you usually exercise?¡±


    Seeing that the topic has changed, the risk of being reported for harassment is over.


    However, there was no sign of a stopping the conversation.


    Why is the snack bar not coming, how far is it?


    I am answering Hye-rim¡¯s question, but how can the conversation be so long?


    Now, I¡¯ve just left the science camp and crossed the signal. It¡¯ll be street food if I walk a little longer.


    There are so many students moving around, so there are so many people looking at Hye-rim, and there are so many words from Hye-rim that Yoon-woo¡¯s mind is getting worn out.


    Yoon-woo answered Hye-rim¡¯s questions patiently, comforting himself by saying he would be sleeping comfortably in the soft chair of the management office two hours later to withstand the situation.


    ¡°During the semester, I was doing burpee tests and bare body workouts, but from vacation, I started watching Wetube and doing some weights. I¡¯m not good at it.¡±


    ¡°Oh maybe¡­ ¡­ That, the person who always came and did burpees very quickly, right? Had a good physique! It¡¯s a little hard to do¡­ ¡­and at that speed for quite some time, so I glanced at him hehe.¡±


    It seemed like a compliment, but it was not easy to repay it this time.


    Since you have been praised for your athletic ability, you should also praise the other person¡¯s athletic ability.


    The reason Yoon-woo looked at Hye-rim exercising was not due to sexual desire, but as a foot of inferiority to check how many kilos that woman can lift with a deadlift, and whether or not she could lift a weight heavier than himself. If I said it was, no one would believe it.


    Could it be a trap that counted up to there? But fortunately, I could see the food bar in front of me.


    ¡°I can just do it relatively faster because I weigh less. We¡¯re almost there.¡±


    ¡°Why is there no one waiting? Although that¡¯s a relief. The classroom is so far away, some people must have left while we were walking!¡±


    He got used to Hye-rim¡¯s questions and the gazes of people around but there was still a difficult task left that was choosing what to eat.


    ¡°What should we order? Is there anything you particularly like, Yoon-woo?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know because it¡¯s my first time coming here, so order what Hye-rim usually eats.¡±


    ¡°Really? Is this your first time here? You don¡¯t like snacks, do you?¡±


    ¡°No, I like it.¡±


    I hate it.


    When he was young, Yoon-woo¡¯s parents forced him to attend the academy.


    Yoon-woo used to settle most of his meals at convenience stores or snack bars.


    Other children ate their own packed lunches while their parents sent them with the car according to the schedule of the academy, and they also ate dinner with their parents at a beef-bone soup restaurant or a Korean restaurant.


    Only a few children whose parents couldn¡¯t take care of them because of their busy schedules gathered at the snack bar and ate while chatting and talking about children.


    ¡®You don¡¯t like snacks?¡¯ Ever since I was born, I have never liked snack food.


    It was just a means to fill a hasty meal.


    Ramen, gimbap, and tteokbokki are disgusting. Ramen that is only salty and spicy, gimbap that makes you thirsty when you eat it, tteokbokki that is needlessly sweet¡­ ¡­


    ¡°Thank God. I really like tteokbokki. Hehe. So, are we going to the right or left?¡±


    ¡°Wherever you like.¡±


    I don¡¯t know what she thinks, but I hate everything anyway, so it didn¡¯t matter what she ordered.


    For Yoon-woo, eating was an unavoidable daily life, but for Hye-rim, was it a pleasant escape? What was her childhood like?


    As Yoon-woo was thinking like that, Hye-rim quickly checked her order form without hesitation and handed it to the owner.


    ¡®Huh? I think you did a lot of checking?¡¯


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ What did you order?¡±


    ¡°Tteokbokki, gimbap, sundae and dumplings.¡±


    ¡®Who eats that much?¡¯


    Yoon-woo usually eats very little, and skipping meals before exercising was a daily routine, so he had a picky taste.


    He will barely eat even a single line of gimbap.


    He used to buy a sandwich from a convenience store and shared it for lunch and dinner.


    ¡®It¡¯s a little bit too much for the two of us to eat¡­ ¡­. Isn¡¯t it?¡¯


    ¡°Isn¡¯t this the perfect amount for the two of us to eat?¡±


    Absolutely not. But if you think about it, it¡¯s already too late.


    Within minutes of submitting the order, the menu was brought to the table. There is a reason the turnover rate is fast.


    ¡®There are a lot of people¡­ ¡­.¡¯


    It was a lot more than I thought.


    Gimbap was also not as thick as Yun-woo thought.


    Unlike other gimbap, it was gimbap made with black rice, and although the rice was not very thick, it was full of ingredients, so it looked like it would burst at any moment.


    I glanced at the lady rolling the gimbap, wondering how on earth it was made. She opened the lid of a large-capacity tuna can for commercial use, picked up the contents roughly with her hands wearing sanitary gloves, and threw it roughly on the flat rice.


    There are no men working here.


    There is a reason why this place is called the hope of the poor economics students.


    But only gimbap was tasty.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t it great for the money?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re right.¡±


    Hye-rim looked really satisfied.


    Whether she really likes tteokbokki or not, her chopsticks were busy dipping dumplings, gimbap, sundae, and tteokbokki sauce.


    Yoon-woo was careful to eat as neatly as possible and put a little bit of each type of food on a plate, especially because of the large satiety that dumplings and gimbap give me, so I quickly got full.


    I¡¯m in trouble.


    When you eat, it is not polite to make you feel like you¡¯ve been forced to come to meet the other person.


    This was even the place Hye-rim chose considering Yoon-woo¡¯s financial situation.


    However, I was already full and there was so much food that it was not obvious that he ate it.


    If you stop using chopsticks like this, she will think that Yoon-woo came with her by force.


    I can¡¯t help it. I¡¯ll have to eat for dinner as well.


    Then a few minutes later, the food on the table was finished.


    ¡°What? I think I ate it all by myself¡­Did you really hate street food?¡±


    Despite trying his best, Yoon-woo¡¯s efforts failed.


    It¡¯s true that he hates street food, but Yoon-woo really ate more than he could.


    Nevertheless, the amount Yoon-woo ate was about one-third of the total menu ordered by Hye-rim.


    Surprisingly, Hye-rim finished all of the remaining two-thirds of the food.


    ¡°No, I ate a lot. I¡¯m telling you, I won¡¯t be having dinner.¡±


    I really didn¡¯t think I could have dinner.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, you really don¡¯t eat a lot. I¡¯m jealous of you who have such a small appetite and maintain your physique. I¡¯m embarrassed for no reason. I¡¯m the only one who ate a lot¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°Hye-rim. It¡¯s ok. I eat just like that.¡±


    So, let¡¯s go home now.


    ¡°Well, we¡¯re almost done eating, so I¡¯ll just pay for this place. Here¡¯s the check!¡±


    After saying that, Hye-rim stands up and hands the 10,000 won bill to the lady.


    Ten thousand won for that amount¡­¡­.


    If Yoon-woo did not hate street food, it would have been worth considering using it as a staple food.


    ¡°Oh? No, don¡¯t do that. I¡¯m so sorry. Here¡¯s 5,000 won.¡±


    ¡°No, no. If you¡¯re sorry, Yoon-woo, buy me a coffee! There¡¯s no one waiting at the coffee shop.¡±


    Come to think of it, college students always drink coffee after eating.


    Yoon-woo liked coffee, and college coffee was cheap considering college students¡¯ wallet circumstances, but it was a luxury for Yoon-woo to drink 2,000 won coffee, who set a budget of 4,000 won per meal.


    But under the current circumstances, Yoon-woo thought he owed her at least 3,000 won, so it wouldn¡¯t be a bad thing to be able to settle it right away with coffee.


    Since the caf¨¦ is not a lot, spacious seats are always taken, so you have to order take away most of the time.


    ¡°What will you like to drink, Hye-rim?¡±¡±


    ¡°I like ice cafe mocha! I¡¯ll take it out and walk to the management, ok?¡±


    Strangely, it sounded as if we were going together.


    There¡¯s still more than an hour left until the class, so why? Yoon-woo paid for the coffee and told Hye-rim just in case.


    ¡°Well¡­¡­ I¡¯m just going to read a book in the library.¡±


    ¡°You study too much, that¡¯s why you are so good at completing assignments?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m just copying theories.¡±


    I guess you didn¡¯t mean to come with me. It was the moment when Yoon-woo received the coffee he ordered and gave it to Hye-rim and turned his back on her.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, where are you going?¡±


    ¡°Huh? I¡¯m going to the library.¡±


    ¡°Why are you going to the library there? The library is next to the management center.¡±


    Oops. I guess what she thought was the Central Library.


    Yes, loser Yoon Woo didn¡¯t go to the crowded central library.


    The corner of the science and engineering campus library was good.


    ¡°Uh¡­¡­ I¡¯m used to going to the library that is around the corner of the science and engineering campus.¡­.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s also a library right next to the management building so why not go there? I¡¯m bored anyways so let¡¯s go this way.¡±


    I don¡¯t want to. I feel pressured to go with her already, but I have to go to the crowded central library.


    Nothing was beneficial to Yoon-woo.


    Shouldn¡¯t this be enough to say no?


    ¡®I don¡¯t like it when there¡¯s a lot of people. Wouldn¡¯t that be a special reason to refuse?¡¯


    No, I can¡¯t do that. ¡®I don¡¯t like crowded places¡¯ is just Yoon-woo¡¯s subjective preference.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s taste is not important to anyone in the world.


    On the other hand, it is important for many people that people like Cho Hye-rim aren¡¯t bored or have someone to hang out with.


    There must be people lining up to buy her boredom.


    But you let Hye-rim walk alone because of Yoon-woo¡¯s subjective preference?


    And Hye-rim recommended Yoon-woo first.


    This is a grave rebellion against the structure of society.


    It¡¯s like a King giving a gift to a soldier that he doesn¡¯t like.


    What would happen to such a soldier? I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll have to put your head on the guillotine.


    ¡°Yes, okay.¡±


    I guess it¡¯s just for today. Like she said, she was bored.


    There won¡¯t be another day when she has nothing to do.


    Yoon-woo repeatedly took forceful steps with Hye-rim.

 Chapter 7

    ¡°Everyone, you must be a person who knows how to love yourself. How can anyone who doesn¡¯t love themselves love someone else? Before you want someone to love you, first respect yourself and love yourself.¡±


    Cho Hye-rim, a fourth grader in elementary school, heard this and thought her homeroom teacher was a fool.


    How much self-love do you need that you have to tell these classmates who already love themselves?


    Boys often tried to talk to Hye-rim about how good they were in taekwondo, how good they were at games, how tall they were, and how great their parents were.


    Why are you coming here to talk about something I didn¡¯t ask? Hye-rim was not interested at all.


    What about the girls?


    They aren¡¯t as straightforward as the boys, but they talk about who has better hair, who is fairer, who likes who, and who doesn¡¯t look good with whom.


    Sometimes, they talked about disparaging other children and elevating themselves.


    Are you telling me that I¡¯m beautiful just on the outside?


    They talked about something with each other and played well, but I didn¡¯t know why they only talked about it in front of me.


    In Hye-rim¡¯s eyes, the class children looked like a group of chimpanzees.


    They shout and show off their strength, and put all their time into comparing each other and presenting themselves forward.


    In fact, chimpanzees don¡¯t just live like that.


    Hye-rim had yet to fully understand that such actions were related to mating competition.


    Hye-rim thinks that among those chimpanzees, only Yoon-woo and herself were like human beings.


    Yoon-woo was totally different from other boys.


    He has never bragged about anything without asking, and I have never seen him saying anything unpleasant to others.


    Even though he was the best student in my class, he didn¡¯t brag about it.


    How beautiful his voice is¡­¡­ It was so lovely to hear him speak polite and kind words in that soft voice.


    The other kids in the class teased Yoon-woo¡¯s voice for being feminine.


    Anyone can tell it was utter jealousy. Girls flirt with Yoon-woo, but they are upset because Yoon-woo doesn¡¯t respond to them how they want him to.


    Yoon-woo always answered the questions up to point nothing more nothing less.


    Girls who failed to talk to Yoon-woo would belittle him, saying, ¡°You¡¯re showing off.¡± and what not.


    This is what they say ¡®Break it if you can¡¯t have it¡¯ mentality.


    Yoon-woo had fair skin and a smooth body, and he was so pretty even though he was a man.


    What do you mean he sounds like a girl? None of the girls have a prettier voice than Yoon-woo.


    They don¡¯t know how kind he is.


    On the day the school went to Weaver land for a field trip, Yoon-woo was sitting next to Hye-rim on the Viking.


    Hye-rim, who was afraid of the Viking, lowered her head, but she had severe motion sickness due to her blocked vision and threw up.


    Unfortunately, the vomit got on Yoon-woo and Hye-rim¡¯s clothes.


    While Hye-rim was nervous and crying because she was caught by other children, Yoon-woo collected vomit from Hye-rim¡¯s clothes with his bare hands and threw it in the bathroom. Then, he brought wet tissue and wiped Hye-rim¡¯s clothes and arms.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s body was full of puke, and even though Hye-rim was the one who puked, he didn¡¯t get angry and cleaned Hye-rim before himself.


    Yoon-woo asked Hye-rim if she was okay.


    Yoon-woo was like an angel.


    Since then, Hye-rim tried to talk to Yoon-woo whenever she had a chance in the classroom, but she was not able to talk for long because chimpanzees kept interrupting and talking nonsense.


    At that time, chimpanzees should have just ignored and let her get closer to Yoon-woo¡­¡­


    One day, a stupid homeroom teacher said something strange.


    Yoon-woo is too timid to get along with his classmates, so why don¡¯t you pay attention to him a little, Hye-rim, the class president?


    I couldn¡¯t understand why she wanted an angel like Yoon-woo to hang out with chimpanzees.


    Besides, do you want me to pay attention to Yoon-woo?


    Hye-rim¡¯s entire mind was already focused on Yoon-woo.


    Other kids are just a rough-and-tumble obstacle nearby. They are nothing but a distraction.


    As Hye-rim thought so, Yoon-woo was the only one in her class who she talked to first.


    Yoon-woo was the only one Hye-rim looked at.


    When the class noticed it, the bullying for Yoon-woo grew worse.


    Young Hye-rim didn¡¯t know that she was the cause of the intensified bullying at the time, but it was too bad that Yoon-woo¡¯s expression became darker and less beautiful.


    In Hye-rim¡¯s opinion, Yoon-woo was the only one who deserved to be loved in this class.


    No matter how much chimpanzee pups squeak and make a fuss next to him, Yoon-woo is not the kind of person who cares about such animals.


    Yoon-woo should smile more and live more confidently.


    Only Yoon-woo is qualified, but if he doesn¡¯t know it, Hye-rim should tell him.


    But was it the limit of an 11-year-old child¡¯s brain?


    Hye-rim unknowingly quoted her homeroom teacher who thought she was stupid.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, did you hear the teacher? Yoon-woo must love Yoon-woo too!¡±


    After listening to Hye-rim, Yoon-woo¡¯s face, which was normally gentle, was distorted.


    Yoon-woo stared Hye-rim in the eye with a distorted expression.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes glaring at Hye-rim were red and tears formed.


    Yoon-woo usually nods his head and turns around without a facial expression. So Hye-rim was curious to see another expression of Yoon-woo, but his new expression happened to be that of anger.¡­.


    Yoon-woo said, ¡± I already loved myself very much. Can Hye-rim love me too? Do you want to go out with me?¡± But Hye-rim was not a fool.


    She couldn¡¯t help but understand that Yoon-woo was sarcastic about Hye-rim.


    She was so sad that those stupid chimpanzees made Yoon-woo so angry that he couldn¡¯t stand it for the first time.


    Her heart ached. She imagined every night that a word of love might come out of Yoon-woo¡¯s mouth, but the word Hye-rim imagined now became a sharp thorn and poked Hye-rim¡¯s heart.


    Hye-rim thought she should resolve the misunderstanding, but she couldn¡¯t speak and tears of sadness and guilt burst out of her eyes.


    Chimpanzees who gathered in no time started bothering Yoon-woo again.


    I have to protect Yoon-woo who didn¡¯t do anything wrong, but my tears didn¡¯t stop.


    It seemed that her voice would not reach Yoon-woo¡¯s ears.


    At this moment, isn¡¯t Hye-rim the person Yoon-woo hates the most in the world?


    Thinking like that, Hye-rim felt like she was the loneliest person in the world.


    And that¡¯s what happened. Since then, Yoon-woo has never tried to make eye contact with Hye-rim, and ran away whenever Hye-rim showed signs of trying to talk to him.


    Yoon-woo, Hye-rim¡¯s favourite, never came close to Hye-rim, and a group of abominable chimpanzees constantly rushed to Hye-rim.


    Every day was disgusting and I felt like throwing up.


    No matter how hard I think about it, I should have put an iron plate on my face while facing Yoon-woo¡¯s anger, and told him that ¡®okay, I also like Yoon-woo, so let¡¯s go out.¡¯


    If that were the case, I would have relieved Yoon-woo¡¯s anger and have been at least a friend with him.


    After being close friends for years, Yoon-woo might have liked me¡­¡­.


    About 10 years have passed since then. However, as time went by, her surroundings were full of chimpanzees.


    Hye-rim now understood that it was an act that resulted from their desires to mate.


    But after getting accepted to college, wouldn¡¯t men and women be gentle and elegant if they were in the business department of high school? I thought about it.


    Among self-appealing things between chimpanzees, the weight of educational background and wealth has only increased.


    At the beginning of the semester, it was said to be a good practice for a senior to buy a meal for his juniors to get along and make juniors comfortable with college environment, but when a male senior who bought a meal for another junior yesterday said he would buy a VIPS for Hye-rim, the explicit desire was visible.


    If you accept a proposal based on such blatant desires, it is surprisingly Hye-rim, not her senior, who¡¯ll get insulted.


    In fact, someone will curse you even if you don¡¯t accept it, but if you¡¯re going to be cursed the same way, I just wanted to live comfortably.


    I¡¯m not a beggar. What are you trying to seduce me with?


    Besides, there are so many people who want to go out to buy ice cream for her.


    Why is it ice cream everywhere? Who decided that ice-cream is only for dates? I thought about following someone who wants to eat rice soup when he comes out of class, but there was no one like that.


    As there are so many men who openly flirt with Hye-rim, there are more women who talk behind Hye-rim¡¯s back.


    Such a thing has always existed since a long time ago regardless of how Hye-rim acts.


    Hye-rim didn¡¯t want to be involved in the politics of the department, which exists secretly, and there was no one who wanted to hang out with her.


    So, I didn¡¯t hang out with people unless it was a group meeting that the university urged her to attend, and Hye-rim was a good prey for anyone to bite.


    Of course, everyone pretended to be close in front of Hye-rim, but they couldn¡¯t help but be cautious.


    Some started talking behind Hye-rim¡¯s back, saying, ¡±She talked behind your back.¡±


    Do you think telling Hye-rim about things like that creates special trust with Hye-rim? What kind of human kingdom is this?


    I¡¯m sick and tired of relationships.


    Still, I made a friend whom I could call after coming to college.


    It was Yoo Ji-eun, who is one year older.


    When Hye-rim, who was sick of human beings, briefly joined a movie appreciation club and withdrew from the ongoing club due to continuous drinking parties. It was the only remaining relationship.


    Although she is older than me, Ji-eun, who is less than 150 cm tall and has a small physique, was a person who never gossiped about others, but moreover, she never talked about people who were near her.


    She moved on to Ghibli, Pixar, and Disney topics whenever she had the chance.


    Ji-eun wasn¡¯t gorgeous, but she had a small face, a skinny figure, and an innocent look like a porori in Bonobono.


    [ T/N: Bonobono is anime mainly for children with cute animals.Porori is a cute pink squirrel in that anime ]


    But unlike her appearance, she loved drinking a lot.


    There were quite a few men who liked to drink and tried to flirt with Ji-eun because of her friendly impression that seemed easy to approach, but Ji-eun didn¡¯t drink with such men.


    Ji-eun only had animation movies in her head.


    One day in the club room, she was crying while looking at her laptop alone, so I checked what she was looking at and it was ¡°Inside Out.¡±


    ¡°Hey, didn¡¯t you see that already?¡±


    ¡°This is the ninth time.¡±


    ¡°And are you still crying?¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡±


    Once again, a can of beer was crushed in the corner of the table. It was 1 p.m. on weekdays.


    In a way, she was the closest person to the essence of the movie club.


    The essence of this club is that only 2 out of 10 are movies and the other 8 are drinks.


    Perhaps that¡¯s why, when Hye-rim met Ji-eun for the first time, Ji-eun was single. Ji-eun is single even now.


    Hye-rim also liked Ji-eun¡¯s personality, who doesn¡¯t talk about others recklessly, but Hye-rim also liked Ghibli movies quite a lot, so she and Ji-eun talked quite well.


    In fact, Hye-rim also watched ¡°Spirited Away¡± about six times. If there is a Lunar New Year special or a movie channel airing something interesting, they have watched it, so that¡¯s probably enough to suit the club¡¯s name.


    Hye-rim liked the character Haku the most in the movie ¡±Spirited Away¡±.


    Haku, who helps Chihiro, the heroine, has a beautiful appearance, but he also has a beautiful heart to continue to help Chihiro secretly without presenting himself.


    So Haku reminded me of Yoon-woo when I was young.


    He seemed to resemble Yoon-woo who suffered because of having a curse on his body.


    In fact, I talked about Yoon-woo to Ji-eun when I was drunk, and she also wanted to hear more about Yoon-woo¡¯s childhood, saying that if there was someone like that, she would really like to meet him.


    But it was Hye-rim who really wanted to meet Yoon-woo.


    ¡°Lee Yoon-woo, economics major.¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Lee Yoon-woo, is there any student?¡±


    ¡°Yes! Here it is.¡±


    It was the Modern Business School class in the week after the class registration correction period ended.


    The professor called the entire attendance for the first time, and Hye-rim heard the name she had missed so much in her ear.


    Yoon-woo was not a very common name, but it was not a very unusual name, so there was a good chance that he would have the same name.


    But that voice. Hye-rim was able to hear his voice clearly because he answered twice as the first time was not audible to the Bolivian professor.


    Even though it¡¯s a mid- to low-pitched male voice, it¡¯s much softer and has a good echo.


    Hye-rim was familiar with the voice.


    Lee Yoon-woo, a fourth grader in elementary school, will have exactly that voice when he becomes an adult after his voice changes.


    Ten years is not as long as I thought.


    Hye-rim still clearly remembered young Yoon-woo¡¯s voice because she has been repeating it over and over again in her head.


    I checked the designated seat attached by the professor on the back door of the lecture room, and Lee Yoon-woo¡¯s name was just to the left of Hye-rim.


    If this Lee Yoon-woo is that Lee Yoon-woo¡­¡­isn¡¯t this fate? Isn¡¯t it God¡¯s will?


    Hye-rim thought so.


    After announcing a designated seat in a modern business class on Monday, Hye-rim left home expecting to see Yoon-woo¡¯s face on Wednesday, the next class.


    Coincidentally, Hye-rim was able to meet Yoon-woo before the fifth period of modern business administration class.


    In the second class of economics major, a Bolivian professor who can¡¯t pronounce Korean properly called for attendance and said, ¡°Lee¡­¡­ Yeon¡­¡­ Yoon¡­who?¡±


    Because Hye-rim was used to the voice of a man who answered ¡°here¡± to this, she knew quickly that it was Yoon-woo.


    It was a small lecture room, so I could check his face right away.


    Although he became a little manly, Yoon-woo¡¯s face, which was like an angel in his childhood, remained intact.


    He was the Yoon-woo she knew.


    Modern business hours have become the most fruitful time for her.


    An hour and 15 minutes each Monday and Wednesday, a total of two and a half hours to look at Yoon-woo, and even Yoon-woo fell asleep instantly when the class started, so there was no fear of getting caught.


    On the first day of sitting next to Yoon-woo, Hye-rim pretended to be asleep before Yoon-woo fell asleep, fearing that he might notice her peeking at him.


    There was also a concern that Yoon-woo might be taking this class with a special passion, but fortunately, Yoon-woo was not that enthusiastic about the class.


    Hye-rim looked at Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes, nose, mouth, ears, and curves from neck to shoulder one by one, slowly observing what he looked like and what changed from the past that she remembered.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s chest muscles protruded differently from when he was young, his elastic arm muscles also have white skin like when he was young.


    I thought about touching it while he was sleeping, but this time, I shouldn¡¯t make mistakes like when I was young.


    This time, Hye-rim wanted to be close to Yoon-woo unconditionally.


    I thought about how to approach Yoon-woo for several days, but an unexpected opportunity came.


    The professor asked us to find a team to solve the problem together in the Economics principle class.


    The Economics principle class was also recommended to students of business administration, but Hye-rim, who was tired of human relationships with her peers in the same department, purposely applied for a science campus class that she didn¡¯t know anyone.


    She applied at the end of the correction period so that no one knows. It was an excellent choice.


    As soon as the professor gave her time to form a team for this assignment, Hye-rim ran straight to Yoon-woo and said,


    ¡°Hey, you¡¯re taking a modern business class, aren¡¯t you?¡±


    There was no benefit in revealing that Hye-rim was the same person as Cho Hye-rim, a fourth grader in elementary school.


    In Yoon-woo¡¯s memory, Hye-rim must have been remembered as a painful wound.


    It was regrettable that I couldn¡¯t say what I had to say to Yoon-woo because I was crying.


    If I could, I would¡¯ve slapped myself for crying at the time.


    So Hye-rim approached Yoon-woo as if she had just met Yoon-woo for the first time, as if she had happened to learn his face in a business class.


    It¡¯s rare for a single person to come to this classroom, where most of the students in the Department of Food Resources Economics are studying, so it wouldn¡¯t be too unnatural to come to see Yoon-woo from afar, right?


    But if Yoon-woo still remembers Hye-rim, then¡­¡­.


    ¡°Oh¡­¡­ Yes¡­¡­¡­.¡±


    Yoon-woo¡¯s face was filled with embarrassment, but fortunately, he did not reject Hye-rim¡¯s suggestion to be in the same group.


    He didn¡¯t seem to notice that Hye-rim was that fourth grader from elementary school. It was fortunate, but on the other hand, it was also disappointing.


    Still, this is the first opportunity in 10 years.


    I finally said something I couldn¡¯t say 10 years ago because I got close to Yoon-woo.¡­. In the midst of thinking so, some greasy-looking brute tried to intervene so I chased him away.


    Whenever Hye-rim approaches Yoon-woo, animal cubs always disturb him.


    Hye-rim no longer wanted to mess things up by paying attention to such obstacles.


    ================================

 Chapter 8

    Yoon-woo, who had lunch with Hye-rim, felt like having ten bowls of porridge.


    It was difficult because I was nervous since I was talking to Hye-rim, but the biggest problem was¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡®I feel like my stomach is going to explode¡­ ¡­.¡¯


    Yoon-woo, who has been accustomed to eating only to relieve his hunger since he was a child, has never had his stomach filled so excessively.


    He would rather go to the bathroom and pour it out, but there were no signs that he should go to the washroom and his stomach was just heavy.


    Is this how a boa snake that swallowed the elephant feels in The Little Prince?


    He spent most of his modern business school hours sleeping, but he wasn¡¯t as refreshed as usual because of indigestion.


    If so, it might be better to go to the gym after the class.


    I usually go to the library to review, but now my priority is to digest it somehow.


    It was when Yoon-woo was thinking like that.


    ¡°Where is Yoon-woo going now?¡±


    ¡®Please stop¡­ ¡­ Stop asking¡­ ¡­.¡¯


    It was Yoon-woo, who was already exhausted by Hye-rim¡¯s assault of the questions for about two hours.


    ¡°I want to go to the gym.¡±


    ¡°Do you usually go at this hour?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not like that, but today¡­ ¡­ I¡¯m so full, so I¡¯m trying to digest it.¡±


    ¡°Hey, did you eat that much?¡±


    Rather, Hye-rim ate twice as much as Yoon-woo and she doesn¡¯t know why she¡¯s fine.


    ¡°Well, shall I also come? I will! I¡¯ll quickly change my clothes and come with you!¡±


    ¡°Huh? I¡¯m just going to workout to burn some calories and leave as soon as I feel better¡­ ¡­.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t do that, let¡¯s do the weight training together. You say you practice alone while watching Wetube? I¡¯ve been doing this for years. I¡¯ll guide you!¡±


    ¡°uh¡­ ¡­ It will take a lot of time¡­ ¡­.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not even 3:30 now, but there will be no one in the gym, so you can do it peacefully. Oh, you worry you won¡¯t have enough time to study? Don¡¯t worry too much. Do you know what Tabata workout is? If you do that, in 4 minutes¡­ ¡­.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Hye-rim continued to be like this today, too. Aside from direct refusals like, ¡®I don¡¯t want you to follow me because I don¡¯t like you¡¯, she cuts off all possible refusals from Yoon-woo.


    Ultimately, rejection is impossible.


    I should¡¯ve just said I was going to the library. However, Yoon-woo was basically not good at lying without a special reason.


    Still, Hye-rim is a heavy weightlifter. Do you mean that I will have to show an ugly side of me struggling with a weak body which cannot lift a weight similar to Hye-rim?


    How pathetic would I look? Looking back, didn¡¯t she say that her makeup was removed easily and she sweated a lot, so it would be embarrassing for her to workout when someone was conscious of her?


    After all, that word must have been a trap to check whether I had r*ped her body with my gaze.


    In the midst of such thoughts, Hye-rim left saying that she was going to change her clothes.


    She even came to the point where she told me not to start first. I had to give up.


    Aside from the question of how ugly Yoon-woo¡¯s exercise looks to Hye-rim, Hye-rim was a very good sports teacher.


    Important points that could not be easily understood just by watching the Wetube and following, for example, the shape of the hand holding the barbell or the area to focus power depending on the type of exercise should be different. She explained in an easy-to-understand manner by demonstrating what should be kept and what should be done.


    Actually, after hearing Hye-rim¡¯s explanation, he was able to deadlift with a higher weight than usual more stably.


    Yes, it was 110lbs, a 5lbs increase. Seeing that, Hye-rim praised him, saying that he was amazing, and applauded him.


    Actually, he doesn¡¯t know why Hye-rim is like that.


    This is because Yoon-woo had seen Hye-rim lift 100lbs before.


    Do you have these low expectations for me?


    The mood he felt in Hye-rim was like her mother¡¯s applause and compliments when her child succeeded in raising her son for the first time.


    Although she did not know that Yoon-woo wasn¡¯t a baby who grew up with such applause.


    Lastly, the Tabata squat, which I learned from Hye-rim, was an intense exercise that continued for 4 minutes by continuously squatting as fast as possible for 20 seconds, resting for 10 seconds, and repeating the squats for another 20 seconds.


    He could see how Hye-rim¡¯s strong and beautiful lower body was made.


    When Yoon-woo stumbled along the way, Hye-rim laughed and said, ¡°It¡¯s your first time, so don¡¯t overdo it, and do it thinking that you can only keep at most 8 squats per set.¡±


    She said that any exercise, not just squats, would be effective if it was done with this cycle.


    She said the burpee test and Tabata exercise can also be done together.


    It was a valuable lesson for Yoon-woo, who values time-effectiveness.


    ¡°How¡¯s it going? Are you hungry?¡±


    Yoon-woo, who finished taking a shower before Hye-rim, was waiting for Hye-rim at the entrance of the gym because Hye-rim asked him not to go first.


    ¡°Huh? Not really. I feel better than before, but I¡¯m still full.¡±


    I was really full.


    ¡°Hey, Yoon-woo, you really can¡¯t eat? I was going to go eat dinner if you said you were hungry. There¡¯s a delicious udon place nearby.¡±


    Yoon-woo felt like he knew why Hye-rim still had fat even though she was working out so hard.


    Of course, it didn¡¯t look bad on her. Anyway, I was glad to hear that she listened to the fact that I was honestly full.


    ¡°Where is Yoon-woo going now?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m just going to go to my room now.¡±


    ¡°Which way is your room?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right next to the hospital on the left.¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t Yoon-woo in the Economics department? One from the Economics department usually lives in the back gate of the college of economics? Why do you live so far away?¡±


    ¡°It was cheap there.¡±


    ¡°Oh my¡­ I see.¡±


    Yoon-woo never thought Hye-rim was such a talkative person.


    It was in the morning when she asked me to drop honorifics, but after talking about himself due to her continuous questions, she knew where I lived now.


    Are team members supposed to be this close? I don¡¯t think so¡­¡­.


    I couldn¡¯t understand what Hye-rim was thinking about by approaching me.


    The only person whom Yoon-woo allowed to hear his voice was Bunny.


    By the way, I talked to Hye-rim for almost 3 hours today.


    In the beginning, I made assumptions in my head about Hye-rim¡¯s intentions, but on one hand, I was tired of talking, and on the other hand, I was giving up on my thoughts because it was hard to digest my food.


    ¡°I thought Yoon-woo would live in the back gate, so I was going to eat and go together. I shouldn¡¯t have kept you waiting. I¡¯m sorry, Yoon-woo.¡­.¡±


    ¡°No, I haven¡¯t been out for long either. And you helped me a lot. I could lift the weight better than usual.¡±


    ¡°Really? I¡¯m glad then.¡±


    ¡°Yes, thank you. Then¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°Yes, bye! It was fun thanks to you!¡±


    Yoon-woo went back home, thinking it was fortunate that his room was in the opposite direction.


    Bunny used to talk a lot, but Bunny often talked about her daily life alone, so Yoon-woo could listen comfortably by adding a few chants, such as ¡°Oh really?¡± and ¡°really.¡±


    However, for Hye-rim, he was tired because most of the things she talked about were questions that asked him to answer.


    There was no need to try to understand why Hye-rim was being friendly to Yoon-woo.


    Are you sure you¡¯re being friendly? If you think about it coldly, the two of us are doing the group project together, so we just had lunch together.


    That¡¯s what any college student does.


    The strangest thing was that she suddenly followed him to the gym¡­¡­.


    I guess she was just bored. How would a sparrow know the mind of a phoenix?


    How can an outsider know how an insider feels?


    As she said, she doesn¡¯t want to show her face with makeup removed and sweaty body when she works out. But, if she came to exercise with me, it would mean she wouldn¡¯t even care about my gaze.


    Anyway, when you meet someone like Hye-rim, there¡¯ll be no problem if you pay attention to two things.


    First, don¡¯t mistake the other person for having feelings for you.


    Second, don¡¯t like the other person.


    That¡¯s for your own safety.


    A bug named Yoon-woo who lived in a shady and narrow wall cannot be invaded by anyone in his personal space.


    None of the people Yoon-woo had loved, loved Yoon-woo.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s precious and careful heart was always just trash to the other person.


    So, his heart was always crushed and rolled around in the trash.


    When I was in the lower grade of elementary school, Yoon-woo carefully made carnations with coloured paper at school, but my parents didn¡¯t wear them.


    I thought I made it well because my teacher complimented me on it, and I made it while thinking about my parents who would be happy after seeing it.¡­.


    The carnation was classified as regular waste in a day and placed in a standard garbage bag.


    Since then, Yoon-woo threw the carnations he made himself at school into the trash can on his way home, collected pocket money, bought pretty harmonized carnations sold at the store and gave them to his parents.


    My parents went to work with them on their chest.


    It was Yoon-woo¡¯s fault.


    He didn¡¯t think of the other person at all. I expect my parents to carry around worthless garbage just because it¡¯s a carnation that their son carefully made at school.


    Yoon-woo realized early on.


    Just because your heart is precious to you, you shouldn¡¯t think of it as valuable to the other person.


    So, it is wise for Yoon-woo to throw his feelings into the trash can first before the other person throws that into the trash can with an unpleasant face.


    So, he also crushed his heart and threw it into the trash can before he liked Cho Hye-rim, a fourth grader in elementary school.


    However, Lee Yoon-woo, a fourth grader, who has yet to completely let go of his expectations for life, has not been able to keep his mind off of her.


    It was so painful for someone he liked to see him as an object of pity.


    I should have kept my mouth shut and stayed still. I couldn¡¯t control my anger.


    Still, I can¡¯t believe she was crying at the mention of ¡°dating.¡±¡­.


    Was she that disgusted when I confessed my feelings although in anger but still¡­.


    It is better not to have feelings from the beginning, than to be sad to see your feelings being crushed and treated as trash.


    It¡¯s better not to hand over anything.


    And I will die in three years anyway.


    I also met Bunny who said she would die with me.


    Still, it¡¯s a good ending for Lee Yoon-woo, who will not be alone at the end of his life.


    [Tofu, what are you doing?]


    As I calmed down and was studying at home, I got a message from Bunny to chat with her.


    It was 8 o¡¯clock, earlier than usual.


    ¡°I was just reading a book. Are you up early?¡±


    [Yes! What happened to Tofu today?]


    ¡°Why?¡±


    [Just. For some reason¡­your mood seems a little different?]


    I couldn¡¯t figure out how Bunny noticed my slight mood swings.


    In fact, I was confident that I was fluttering in the corner of my heart when I saw Hye-rim sweating all day long and chatting with her.


    Yoon-woo is also a human being, so he cannot fundamentally stop his heart from sprouting love.


    However, when such a bud sprouted, he used all the bad memories of the past as herbicides, killing the bud of expectations.


    But just as herbicides don¡¯t kill grasses, the memories that come back all night slandering and criticizing all aspects of human Lee Yoon-woo were more.


    The memory of Cho Hye-rim in fourth grade is especially painful.


    Tonight, Lee Yoon-woo will be trampled by everyone in the class again and again in front of Cho Hye-rim, a sniffling girl.


    ¡°Well¡­¡­ everything¡¯s fine, but¡­¡­.¡±


    But it was then.


    The alarm sounds of ¡°Tick tock!¡± rang loudly in Yoon-woo¡¯s room.


    At home, the alarm was set up loudly to answer Bunny¡¯s call, which made it noisy because the alarm rang continuously.


    -Yoon-woo~


    -What are you doing on Saturday night?


    -(emoticon)


    The emoticon¡¯s cat looked at him with anticipation. It was a message from Hye-rim.


    [Who is it? Did you just get a call?]


    Bunny must have heard the ringtone. It¡¯s natural to hear the loud sound in the small room.


    ¡°Someone who works with me on a group assignment, she asked what I¡¯m gonna do on Saturday evening.¡±


    [Woman?]


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    [Does she have feelings for you, Tofu?]


    ¡°I don¡¯t think so.¡±


    [If not, why would she ask about the weekend schedule?]


    ¡°Well¡­¡­ to review the assignment together? No¡­ she doesn¡¯t like the part I did? Hmm¡­¡­, maybe, there is a part that she finds difficult to solve.¡±


    [I don¡¯t think so¡­¡­. Please reply to her.]


    Bunny¡¯s tone seemed a little cold like when she talked about her father, he was very scared of Bunny¡¯s icy voice. And since then, Yoon-woo has been nervous even if Bunny lowers her voice a little bit.


    -Saturday evening? There¡¯s nothing special.


    When Yoon-woo sent a KakaoTalk message, Hye-rim replied right away.


    -Then you know what?


    -We¡¯re going to take classes and study together for a semester.


    -Why don¡¯t we grab a beer to get closer?


    -Oh! Before that, I wish we could work out together like today.


    -(emoticon)


    The emoticon was a cat dancing in the field with a sparrow.


    [What?]


    Bunny could hear the alarm, so she asked Yoon-woo when she heard the message sound.


    ¡°She wants to work out and have a beer together.¡±


    [What? She¡¯s interested in Tofu, isn¡¯t she?]


    ¡°I don¡¯t think so.¡±


    [Why not? She is asking to drink with you first]


    ¡°I¡¯m not worth it. The world I live in and the world she lives in is different.¡±


    [What are you talking about? Then what kind of world does she live in?]


    ¡°It¡¯s like that.¡±


    People all live in different worlds.


    Just like the ant world and the human world are completely different. Just because they live on the same ground doesn¡¯t mean that they live in the same world.


    [What do you mean¡­ Anyway, so what are you going to do about it, Tofu?]


    ¡°I¡¯m going to refuse.¡±


    [Why? You don¡¯t like her? Is she ugly?]


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not that kind of a problem¡­¡­I don¡¯t have money to drink for now.¡±


    [Ah¡­¡­]


    I¡¯m sure I told Hye-rim that I don¡¯t have any living expenses, so I¡¯m going to eat at home, but I guess she didn¡¯t listen to it very seriously.


    Or think that the money that goes into drinking is a small amount of money.


    Yoon-woo serves a meal at 3,900 won, while a beer sold at a bar costs 4,000 won.


    [What if you have money? Are you going to meet her if you have money?]


    ¡°No.¡±


    [What¡¯s up with the iron wall, Tofu.¡­why are you so determined? Do you hate her that much?]


    ¡°That¡¯s not it. I was supposed to drink with you on Saturday night. I bought canned beer on my way here. I¡¯m an outsider, so I thought she wouldn¡¯t believe me if I said I had a previous engagement, so I didn¡¯t tell her, but it¡¯s a prior engagement with you anyway. What should I make an excuse for? Please think about me.¡±


    [Wow, Tofu, I¡¯m so touched. But don¡¯t do that.]


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    [I¡¯ll give you the money. Go ahead.]


    ¡°Huh? Why? I¡¯ve plans with you¡­¡­.¡±


    [Tofu, you¡¯re always depressed. When I asked you what you ate, you always said, ¡®Tuna and a salad, or grilled pork legs and a salad¡¯¡­. I think Tofu will die first before I die with you.]


    ¡°No¡­¡­ salad and meat, isn¡¯t it healthy food?¡±


    [Who makes a living like that? Tofu, like other college students, you can eat chicken or pork belly and have a beer with them. After that, you can come home and talk to me. You don¡¯t have to stay home always just for a drink with me, do you?]


    Bunny¡¯s voice was very sweet. But to get money from Bunny, it felt wrong.


    ¡°No, I¡¯ll just say no. I can¡¯t take money from you. When did you get money anyway?¡±


    [Huh? Why wouldn¡¯t I have any money?]


    ¡°You always said you¡¯d spend all your money drinking and buying the algae leaves, right? You should eat something delicious with that money. I¡¯m fine.¡±


    [No! I have money, too! Tofu, you¡¯re so mean!]


    ¡°You? How¡­¡­?¡±


    Yoon-woo thought Bunny was trying to give Yoon-woo money from her living allowance.


    Judging from the way Bunny talked, she was neither wealthy nor was she working.


    [I sold the leaf algae cosmetics items. So, that¡¯s why.]


    ¡°Whoa¡­¡­.¡±


    [Anyway, take it. Hurry up and tell me your bank account.]


    ¡°No, but¡­¡­.¡±


    [Tell me. Immediately]


    ¡°But the money between us¡­¡­.¡±


    [Hey, why don¡¯t you tell me quickly?]


    Yoon-woo got scared because Bunny¡¯s voice sounded so scary.


    Eventually, I couldn¡¯t refuse Bunny.


    Bunny deposited as much as 50,000 won to Yoon-woo. The name of the depositor was ¡°Dokkwi.¡±


    ¡°Bunny¡­That¡¯s too much. You¡­¡­.¡±


    [Shut up.]


    ¡°Ok.¡±


    [But I can¡¯t let you have drinks with her alone, I¡¯d be jealous otherwise. So why don¡¯t you ask her to bring one of her friends?]


    ¡°Huh? How do I say that?¡±


    [It¡¯s still awkward to drink alone, so ask if she has any friends she can invite.]


    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t she be offended if I told her in person that drinking alone with her was awkward?¡±


    [Do you want to see her feel bad or do you want to see me feel bad?]


    ¡°Okay¡­¡­ I¡¯ll do as you say.¡±


    Today, kind Bunny and scary Bunny kept going back and forth.


    Eventually, I sent Hye-rim a kakaotalk message as Bunny told me to, and fortunately, a positive answer came back.


    -Should I? There¡¯s one Unnie who really likes drinking.


    -It¡¯s Ji-eun.¡­ That¡¯s right. She majored in economics, too.


    -I¡¯ll talk to her. She doesn¡¯t turn down drinking parties anyway.


    -See you on Saturday!


    ================================

 Chapter 9

    Immediately after sending Yoon-woo a kakaotalk asking what he was doing on Saturday, Hye-rim wondered if she was too hasty.


    Just today I started talking informally¡­¡­.


    I met Lee Yoon-woo, a fourth grader in elementary school at the same university, took two classes together, and both of us sat next to each other, and continued to do our assignments for a semester, so I was very excited.


    Come to think of it, was it too much to follow him to the gym?


    I removed my makeup and went bare-faced. What if Yoon-woo thinks that I look ugly?


    I was worried about that, but it was so exciting and fun to work out with Yoon-woo.


    Even though I was not wearing makeup, I think there¡¯s a possibility that he would have liked me since I¡¯ve a nice body.


    Romeo and Juliet killed themselves just after three or five days since they met. They didn¡¯t make a fuss about dying, right?


    Hye-rim talked with Yoon-woo for more than three hours today, and it is nearly five hours if you add up the time we spent together in class.


    It¡¯s already been 4 days since I took the same class for 2 hours and 30 minutes a day.


    Isn¡¯t this much more than Romeo and Juliet spent time together?


    Then it won¡¯t be too short a time to ask to drink.


    It¡¯s normal to drink with strangers during college.


    But it¡¯s a little too soon¡­¡­ I also thought it would be better for him to meet with Ji-eun.


    If Ji-eun and Yoon-woo get closer, can¡¯t I call Yoon-woo whenever we eat together? Such plans were being made by Hye-rim.


    Hye-rim, who received a reply from Yoon-woo, sent a text message to Ji-eun asking if she wanted to drink together.


    -Is he really Lee Yoon-woo from elementary school? That¡¯s amazing.


    -Yes, but you shouldn¡¯t fall in love with him because he looks like Haku, ok?


    -Hye-rim.


    ¨C What?


    -There¡¯s no one like Haku in real life¡­¡­open your eyes¡­¡­ Grown-up men have hair on their legs. How can he look like Haku?¡­.


    -Oh my¡­ That¡¯s true.


    -you¨C


    -You¡¯re gonna come out for a drink anyway, right?


    -Of course, let me see what he looks like.


    -Then, what should we eat?


    -Soju and beer?


    -No, what kind of side dish should we eat?


    Ji-eun had no interest other than drinking alcohol.


    She didn¡¯t care about the food when she had alcohol.


    For some reason, senior students always took me when I was a freshman, but it was too shabby and the only menu was stir-fried chicken nuggets, so the girls didn¡¯t like it.


    Perhaps because Ji-eun was cute, there were many seniors who bought Ji-eun a drink even though they didn¡¯t have any ulterior motive.


    She had a very unusual position in the club: something Cute drinking totem?


    Then we¡¯ll just go with the L.G. chicken.


    -Yep


    -Unnie¡­ Please pay attention¡­¡­.


    -Ok ok,cool.


    I sent a kakaotalk to Yoon-woo and he said it was good as he likes LG-Tong Chicken.


    There are no Koreans who hate chickens, and LG Tongdak is the best place to have chicken and beer nearby, so it is the most common choice when there is no place to go.


    Finally, on Saturday, Hye-rim met Yoon-woo at a chicken restaurant with Ji-eun.


    ¡°Hello, senior.¡±


    ¡°Lee Yoon-woo?¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°Just drop the honorifics. It feels awkward to converse formally while having alcohol.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­¡­ yes.¡±


    ¡°Then somaek?¡±


    [ Somaek- a kind of alcohol]


    She must be crazy about alcohol. As soon as Yoon-woo talks informally, she asks what to drink the next second.


    Hye-rim finished working out a little earlier than Yoon-woo then returned to her room and got dressed, while Ji-eun was wearing a sweatsuit and a cap.


    Hye-rim sat next to Ji-eun, whose breath smelled faintly of beer.


    ¡®Is she a drunkard or what?¡¯


    If Ji-eun had long straight hair like her, not short hair, her hair might smell like alcohol.


    ¡°I¡¯m¡­¡­ No, I¡¯m not that good at drinking, order something else if that¡¯s ok.¡±


    ¡°Then soju?¡±


    ¡°No, what do you mean by ¡®Then soju¡¯? He said he can¡¯t drink well so just order a beer for him.¡±


    ¡°Beers aren¡¯t fun¡­¡­and drinking only beer makes it difficult for the next day. Also, you get full quickly with beer.¡±


    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s true, too. Yoon-woo has a small appetite so he¡¯ll be full just after drinking beer.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯s that bad.¡±


    ¡°Then it¡¯s decided. Boss, a bottle of Soju!¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­¡­.¡±


    She ordered soju without listening to Yoon-woo, who was embarrassed by her.


    Yoon-woo looked cute when he was embarrassed.


    I¡¯m sorry Yoon-woo, but I actually wanted to see you drunk.


    ¡°Did you watch ¡®Inside Out¡¯ by any chance?¡±


    After making a toast, as soon as we exchanged a few words, Ji-eun immediately began to investigate Yoon-woo¡¯s preference.


    ¡°Inside Out¡± is an animated film released earlier this year and is quite a box office hit, so it is not a bad trigger to talk about movies while drinking.


    But usually, when you meet a school person for the first time, you talk about which department and what class you take, and when you run out of topics about school life, you move on to another topic, but it¡¯s like she is talking about what she wants to talk about right away.


    ¡°No, what is it? A movie?


    ¡°Oh, my God, Hye-rim. He said He hasn¡¯t watched ¡®Inside Out¡¯.¡±


    Inside Out is a movie that Ji-eun especially likes, so even when she first saw Ji-eun, she inquired hard about how she watched the movie and what parts she liked.


    Anime Otaku is like, ¡°Wow! You know that anime!¡± I can get an unpleasant impression of talking about what she has to say at first. But, Ji-eun always liked to listen to others¡¯ feelings rather than to talk about her feelings, that¡¯s why we got along well.


    ¡®Maybe she¡¯s seen the same movie nine times, so she¡¯s out of things to say.¡¯


    ¡°I wish I could see the movie for the first time without knowing the story. I¡¯m so jealous of you. Watch it now. At Least twice.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­¡­ Then I¡¯ll download it and watch it.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right. You have to watch it. You¡¯ll be so immersed in it.¡±


    ¡®The movie was fun, Hye-rim also thought it wasn¡¯t that bad.¡¯


    Yoon-woo was also embarrassed by Ji-eun¡¯s talkative nature.


    ¡°Come to think of it, there¡¯s a rerun of it at a nearby movie theatre.¡­wait a minute¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°Oh? Wait a minute. Senior, that would be too much¡­.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t call me senior. I¡¯m your Noona. It¡¯s okay. I¡¯ll buy you tickets. No, I should go, too. I¡¯m going to watch it, too.¡±


    ¡®Are you drunk after a glass of soju? You sound crazy.¡¯


    ¡®No matter how good she is, she is going to watch the same movie for the 10th time¡­¡­.¡¯


    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s tomorrow. Yoon-woo, you don¡¯t have anything tomorrow, do you?¡±


    ¡°Tomorrow?! I don¡¯t have anything, but wait¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°Then we can go see it right after we wake up. Hye-rim will you come, too?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I will.¡±


    Hye-rim has already seen the movie, but that wasn¡¯t the problem.


    ¡°Then three¡­¡­ The reservation is complete. Hehe. Cheers!¡±


    ¡°Huh¡­¡­.¡±


    Hye-rim thought it was a good thing she called Ji-eun.


    I was thinking about what to do to take Yoon-woo on a trip or something naturally, but now I have a chance to watch a movie with him tomorrow.


    It wasn¡¯t a natural suggestion, but it wasn¡¯t Hye-rim¡¯s idea either.


    Ji-eun, who was excited after booking the movie, diligently named the movies to ask which was his favourite movie such as Monster Inc, Wall-e, Up, but Yoon-woo really didn¡¯t know anything.


    He said he didn¡¯t even watch Frozen, so she wondered if he liked animated movies at all, so Hye-rim told some movie titles from the category of regular movies like Memories of Murder, and Yoon-woo hadn¡¯t watched them too.


    Then Ji-eun asked him what movie he knew, and he said, ¡°Welcome to Dongmakgol¡±.


    ¡±Oh¡­ that was funny. It was fun, but¡­ Why that out of all the movies ¡­?¡±


    Still, it was good that I didn¡¯t talk about school life when I was with this group.


    Ji-eun¡¯s school life is almost all about movies and alcohol, and she didn¡¯t really like her school relationships.


    Yoon-woo seemed to be going around alone on campus, so this atmosphere would be better for him.


    But why does a guy like Yoon-woo go around alone? Has Yoon-woo been bullied by chimpanzees ever since he was in fourth grade?


    Yoon-woo¡¯s cheeks turned red and his eyes relaxed when he drank about a fourth glass of soju.


    The alcohol seemed to be working.


    In the meantime, Ji-eun goes into a movie again.


    ¡°Yoon-woo really doesn¡¯t know Ghibli movies? Nausika, Princess Mononoke, Sen and Chihiro, Kiki: The Witch Delivery Service, Red Pig, Laputa, Howl¡¯s Moving Castle. I¡¯m sure the school showed it to you from time to time.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I think I¡¯ve seen most of it. They are holiday movies after all.¡±


    ¡°Then what did you enjoy the most?¡±


    ¡°Well¡­.Kiki: The Witch¡¯s Delivery Service?¡±


    ¡°Oh, why do you like that? Have a drink, have a drink.¡±


    Ji-eun¡¯s specialty is to propose a toast by saying, ¡°Have a drink¡± at the end of each line of the conversation.


    It¡¯s hard to keep up with all of that because Ji-eun is a heavy drinker.


    Everyone was drinking moderately, but Yoon-woo followed whenever Ji-eun picked up her glass.


    Hye-rim thought she should stop Yoon-woo from drinking anymore¡­¡­ but she was curious as to why he likes Kiki.


    I wondered if I could get a hint about Yoon-woo¡¯s taste.


    But Kiki, of all things¡­¡­it¡¯s a little minor¡­You don¡¯t like minors or girls with huge ribbons on their heads, do you?


    ¡°Do you just like the process of Kiki being recognized?¡±- Ji-eun


    ¡°What kind of recognition? Does Kiki get recognition?¡± ¨C Hye-rim


    ¡°Kiki¡¯s a witch, but she can¡¯t fly. The world doesn¡¯t even need witches, but Kiki is a little girl who lacks a lot as a witch, and eventually she loses all her strength.¡±


    ¡°Yes, yes, but?¡±


    ¡°But¡­¡­ But people around Kiki support Kiki until the end. It¡¯s like, Kiki doesn¡¯t have to be a witch, they¡¯re saying it¡¯s ok for her to be just herself.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­¡­ that¡¯s true, too. I think I just watched Kiki and the cat that looked cute, it¡¯s nice because everyone watches the same movie differently. Yoon-woo, let¡¯s have a drink.¡±


    ¡°Uh, senior¡­¡­ No, Noona¡­¡­I¡¯m having a hard time now¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°Huh? It¡¯s only one bottle.¡±


    ¡°Unnie¡­¡­ let Yoon-woo rest. You didn¡¯t come here to kill Yoon-woo, did you? Yoon-woo, have some water.¡±


    Hye-rim thought.


    Maybe Yoon-woo feels sceptical about his existence and lives in a low-spirited state of Kiki, who can¡¯t fly even though she¡¯s a witch.


    Is that why he always walks around with a gloomy face like that? Come to think of it, I have never seen Yoon-woo smile since the second semester began.


    Yoon-woo, who was unfairly pushed out by chimpanzees.


    Kiki was able to fly again thanks to people who acknowledged Kiki as she was, but did Yoon-woo not have someone to tell him that in the last 10 years? Is that why he¡¯s so low-spirited?


    If so¡­¡­someone should¡¯ve let him know that. You too deserve to be loved just the way you are.


    ¡°Oh, what¡¯s wrong with him? Why is he so weak at drinking?¡±


    Ji-eun said after buying a bottle of chocolate milk for Yoon-woo, who stumbled with a bottle of soju, and sending him home.


    Ji-eun looked like a child, but she was a good senior.


    Wherever she went, she kindly took care of her drunken juniors. It¡¯s just a problem to keep on offering to drink until you get drunk.


    ¡°He¡¯s a bad drinker, but you¡¯re offering him drinks too fast¡­Did he even eat any chicken?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s too bad. I was going to review one more episode of Nausicaa with him.¡±


    ¡°I guess you liked Yoon-woo, though.¡±


    ¡°He is nice. I was going to pay for it from the beginning, but he kept saying that I shouldn¡¯t and he took out a 50,000 won bill.¡±


    ¡°So, what did you do?¡±


    ¡°I slapped him on the back and sent him out.¡±


    It made me laugh to think that Yoon-woo, who looks over 180 cm tall, was beaten on the back by Ji-eun, who is less than 150 cm tall.


    Hye-rim didn¡¯t see the scene because she went to the bathroom when they paid for it.


    ¡°What about Yoon-woo? He looks like Haku, right?¡±


    ¡°Well, he does look pretty. But it¡¯s not Haku. I can¡¯t give up on that.¡±


    ¡°Well, what about his voice? It¡¯s really pretty, right?¡±


    ¡°I agree. His voice is as sweet as a mudshake. When he said ¡®Noona¡­I¡¯m exhausted¡­¡¯I thought my ears would melt.¡±


    ¡°Is there anything else you can drink other than alcohol?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­¡­Yessss¡­¡±¡­.¡±


    ¡°What is it?¡±


    ¡°Non-alcoholic cocktail.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s alcohol, too.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s non-alcoholic.¡±


    ¡°¡­Oh, by the way, Unnie. How much did drinks cost?¡±


    ¡°The first round is on me. Second round, you buy it¡¯s your turn.¡±


    ¡°Huh? Second round?¡±


    ¡°What, you¡¯re not even going to have a second round? Then I¡¯ll get upset?¡±


    ¡°Fine, we should go for a second round.¡±


    In fact, Hye-rim also needs alcohol.


    However, I was worried that I might not make it to the movie tomorrow due to a hangover.


    ¡°By the way, what time is the movie tomorrow?¡±


    ¡°3:10 p.m. Perfect, right? I¡¯d be sober by that time. It¡¯s good for watching movies and having a drink.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re drinking again on Sunday night?¡±


    ¡°Just playing the accompaniment.¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo won¡¯t drink it.¡­ anyway.¡±


    ¡°Oh, you can¡¯t do that. I¡¯m going to listen to Yoon-woo.¡±


    ¡°Then let¡¯s think about something other than alcohol.¡±


    ¡°Something other than alcohol¡­Is there such a thing?¡±


    ¡°You can go to the cafe.¡±


    ¡°Hey¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°What ¡®Hey.. ¡¯ All you know is drinking and watching Anime.¡±


    ¡°No! Sometimes I do leaf algae cosmetics too.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­.¡±


    Hye-rim and Ji-eun went to the skewer house for the second time. When I decided on the seat, I thought I shouldn¡¯t have let Yoon-woo go until late because it was a bar next to Yoon-woo¡¯s house. ¡®Yoon-woo, did you get home safely?¡¯


    -Tofu, how was your day?


    ¡°I¡¯m dizzy¡±.


    -Did you drink a lot?


    ¡°A bottle of soju¡±


    -What? You didn¡¯t drink much?


    ¡°I¡¯m having a hard time¡­.¡±


    -How was it? She seems to be interested in you, right?


    ¡°I¡¯m telling you she¡¯s not.¡±


    -Why? Everything okay?


    ¡°I talked more with the senior who came with her.¡±


    -Did you like her better?


    ¡°It¡¯s not like that, she kept talking about the movie.¡­and then suddenly she wants to watch a movie tomorrow.¡±


    -Just the two of you?


    ¡°No, the three of us.¡±


    -That¡¯s a relief, but what movie?


    ¡°I don¡¯t remember the name¡­They told me I should watch that movie.¡±


    -Which one? But you must have gotten a lot closer since they asked you to watch a movie with you.


    ¡°No, she just booked our tickets on her own. I guess she really likes movies and alcohol.¡±


    -Did she look like a weirdo?


    ¡°I don¡¯t think so.¡­ Oh, that¡¯s right. She paid for the drinks.¡±


    -Did she also like Tofu? What if there¡¯s a lot of girls interested in you? Why did I tell you to go out for a drink? Ughh, I¡¯m so jealous.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be ridiculous, give me your account. I¡¯ll give you 50,000 won back.¡±


    -What? That doesn¡¯t make sense? Forget it. I gave it to you to eat something delicious. And what will you do tomorrow if you give it back now?


    ¡°Tomorrow?¡±


    -Your senior said she¡¯d show you the movie. Then you have to use the money tomorrow after the movie and treat your senior. Don¡¯t worry about me there¡¯ll be a payment arriving to me for my living next month anyway, so buy them a meal with that.


    -If it¡¯s not that¡­¡­Tofu, are you thinking of going home right after watching the movie?


    ¡°What else is there?¡±


    -If you saw the movie, wouldn¡¯t you have coffee or dinner together?


    ¡°Aren¡¯t you supposed to do that with close friends?¡±


    -Wouldn¡¯t they be close enough since they called you for a drink?


    ¡°Hmm¡­¡­ I don¡¯t know because I¡¯ve never been close to anyone.¡±


    -The other party will think that¡¯s part of the schedule. What time is the movie?


    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ They didn¡¯t tell me¡­¡­ Are you sure they would have a reservation?¡±


    -They¡¯ll call you soon. Tofu, you should go to bed early and sober up.


    ¡°If I can¡¯t get up, shouldn¡¯t I not go?¡±


    -Why? You don¡¯t want to go?


    ¡°Isn¡¯t the movie theatre full of insiders? If I go to a place like that with two insiders, I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll be left out¡­Don¡¯t you think I shouldn¡¯t have called her?¡±


    -You¡¯re prejudiced. A movie theatre is a place to watch movies. I also watched the movie with some friends.


    ¡°Oh, what movie?¡±


    -Inside out.


    ¡°Well¡­ I don¡¯t know. Bunny, why are you talking only on kakaotalk today?¡±


    -I think I have a cold today because I¡¯m a little hoarse.


    ¡°Is it because it¡¯s in-between seasons? I don¡¯t like when you get sick, take better care of yourself. Would you like to turn on voice chat and go to bed?¡±


    -Thanks, but you will sleep right away because you are drowsy after drinking, right? I¡¯m alright.


    ¡°Yes, make sure you sleep warm, Bunny.¡±


    -Okay, thank you.


    ¡°Yoon-woo is so nice. What should I do¡­.?¡±


    As she put her phone in her pocket, Bunny muttered to herself in a small voice.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s name, which she confirmed while remitting his account, but Bunny was more happy about Yoon-woo¡¯s vigilance toward her easing rather than checking Yoon-woo¡¯s name.


    Yoon-woo, who was trying not to say anything about himself, gave his account number and his name, and now he¡¯s doing something similar to dating counselling.


    I don¡¯t think it¡¯s relationship counselling.


    Anyway, as it is, if Yoon-woo continues to believe in me more and more, then one day, he will do what I want¡­¡­


    ================================

 Chapter 10

    At 10 a.m. on Sunday, Yoon-woo opened his eyes because of the noise coming from the church in front of his house.


    When I checked my cell phone, I was invited to a chat room I saw for the first time.


    One person in the chat room was Cho Hye-rim, and the other person was not saved, but seeing that the name appeared as ¡°Unnie¡±, it seemed that she was the senior.


    Ji-eun asked Yoon-woo to call her Noona, not senior, but he still felt awkward calling her noona.


    So, if you aren¡¯t conscious of it, ¡°senior¡± comes out sometimes.


    Hye-rim: Yoon-woo, are you up? Are you feeling better?


    Ji-eun: Yoon-woo.


    Hye-rim and Ji-eun both woke up at 9 o¡¯clock and made a chat group to see if they were better drinkers than Yoon-woo.


    Hye-rim: The movie is at 3:10 PM today. Do you want to go to the theatre together?


    Ji-eun: Why don¡¯t we meet and have hangover soup before that?


    Hye-rim: Unnie, you¡¯re not going to have another hangover drink, are you?


    Hye-rim: Hey?


    Hye-rim: Unnie, why aren¡¯t you answering?


    Ji-eun didn¡¯t answer until the end, and the last message Hye-rim sent was at 9:53.


    Yoon-woo was still hungover from last night. So, he drank a cup of water first and replied.


    -Yeah, I¡¯m fine.


    Ji-eun: See, nothing happens after drinking soju. It would have been nice to drink more there.


    Ji-eun, who replied as soon as Yoon-woo sends a Kakaotalk message, seems to have chewed Hye-rim¡¯s message on purpose.


    -Thank you for yesterday. But what should I do if noona buys me food?


    Ji-eun: Then buy some coffee for me later.


    -Okay, and I¡¯ll treat you next month when I get pocket money.


    Ji-eun: Huh? You don¡¯t have to go that far. It¡¯s only a drink anyway. You are paying for coffee today anyway.So, it¡¯s fine.


    But, Yoon-woo was not okay.


    Hye-rim: Yoon-woo, do you know where the movie theatre is? Do you want to go there together?


    -I don¡¯t know where it is, but I can still find it by myself.


    Hye-rim: No, let¡¯s just go together, it would be better that way.


    -Then let¡¯s do it.


    Yoon-woo wanted to go alone quietly because he was still dizzy, but it¡¯s pointless to refuse Hye-rim and go separately because he has to take the same bus anyway.


    Ji-eun: Guys, what about me? Aren¡¯t you going to drink hangover liquor?


    Hye-rim: Unnie? Hangover liquor? I thought you said hangover soup.


    Hye-rim: I think I¡¯ll have to eat lunch at home ¡­¡­. Is it okay if I go to the movie theatre with you next time?


    Ji-eun: No, I¡¯m talking about Yoon-woo. My house is right next to the movie theatre. I¡¯m asking him to come early and drink with me.


    Hye-rim: Oh, I see.


    I am so dizzy just after drinking a bottle, but I don¡¯t know how I¡¯m going to drink in this state.


    Ji-eun: It seems like he won¡¯t have lunch with me, so I can¡¯t help it. Hye-rim, you come here.


    Hye-rim: Then I won¡¯t be able to go with Yoon-woo. And, I want to eat my homemade food, too.


    -You don¡¯t have to go late because of me Hye-rim, you can go first. I can find it on my own.


    Hye-rim: No, Yoon-woo. The only thing she talks about is drinking even in the morning.


    Ji-eun: Huh, I just don¡¯t want to drink alone, that¡¯s it.


    Hye-rim: Unnie? Can¡¯t you not drink alcohol? It will smell in the theatre later.


    Ji-eun: If I drink a little, it doesn¡¯t smell bad.


    Hye-rim: No, you¡¯re the only one who doesn¡¯t know. Your breath and clothes you wear in college stinks of alcohol?


    Ji-eun: You¡¯re kidding me.


    Hye-rim: I¡¯m serious.


    Ji-eun: I got it, okay? I will wear something else.


    Hye-rim: No, I¡¯m not asking you to wear something else. Don¡¯t come after drinking.


    Ji-eun: Can I wear a hoodie?


    Hye-rim: Ughhh


    ¡®Do you really smell alcohol in Ji-eun¡¯s clothes and breath?¡¯


    It was Yoon-woo who got curious.


    It is still burdensome when I meet Hye-rim, and I still have thoughts in my mind about what she¡¯s up to.


    However, when I met Ji-eun, there was a little amount of such fear.


    I¡¯m sure this person is also an insider.


    Unlike her small and cute appearance, she is plain and full of charm.


    In addition, even though she seems to be saying whatever she wants to say, she doesn¡¯t talk about other people or anything that will hurt others.


    I think it¡¯s because her favourite topic is very different from other college students.


    She was also considerate enough to get chocolate milk to a drunken junior.


    Insiders are very unique people.


    In fact, Yoon-woo already knows one person with that atmosphere.


    So, when I met Ji-eun, somehow, I felt familiar.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, you didn¡¯t force yourself to come out today, right? I¡¯m sorry, Ji-eun can be a little too much sometimes¡­.¡±


    ¡°No, thanks for the movie. It¡¯s been a while since I¡¯ve been to the movies, so I¡¯m a little nervous.¡±


    Yoon-woo and Hye-rim met at the bus stop at 1 o¡¯clock, much earlier than the movie time, and were waiting for the bus.


    Hye-rim thought that if she didn¡¯t go quickly after eating and call Ji-eun out, she would come out with a strong smell of alcohol.


    Unlike usual, Hye-rim was wearing a white shirt with an H-line skirt, not jeans, and a pair of loafers, not converse shoes.


    The pretty curves of her body as a result of her doing exercise were revealed without filtration, so Hye-rim looked much more mature than usual, and she also wore perfume which somehow slightly gave off a racy atmosphere.


    It seemed that Yoon-woo would be sued even if he moved his eyes a little in the direction he shouldn¡¯t.


    So, Yoon-woo firmly determined himself not to look under Hye-rim¡¯s neck even by mistake today.


    ¡°Really? What was the last movie you saw? ¡­¡­who did you see it with?¡±


    ¡°I went to see it in a group at school.¡±


    ¡°Whoa¡­If it¡¯s the last time, isn¡¯t that a cow movie? The boys wouldn¡¯t have liked that¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t that I didn¡¯t like it. I got upset when the cow died.¡±


    ¡°Well¡­¡­ Yesterday, you didn¡¯t know any of the movies we were talking about. Do you happen to like movies like Wonangsori? Or do you have any favourite genre?¡±


    [Tl/n : Wonangsori- Korean movie ]


    ¡°I don¡¯t watch movies often, but usually horror or thriller? Like the Paranormal Activity.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s a surprise considering your personality. Why do you like those films?¡±


    Why do you like that? It¡¯s a difficult question to answer. In fact, there is a reason.


    This is because I feel strange pleasure and vicarious satisfaction in the story of a demon who torments happy family, lovers, and friends and breaks them down.


    When watching the horror movie ¡°Insidious,¡± Yoon-woo used to cheer for the devil who tried to crush and destroy a happy family, not the father who risked his life to save his son.


    It¡¯s not like I want to hurt others, no matter the way he watches the movie nothing would change in his life.


    But if you honestly answer it like that, Yoon-woo won¡¯t be treated as a sane person.


    ¡°Well, I just like ghosts and monsters?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­¡­ Then I¡¯ll join you next time¡­ but I get scared easily so¡­¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°Oh, the bus is here.¡±


    Hye-rim wanted to say something and opened her mouth several times in the bus, but there were too many people in the bus to continue the conversation.


    It took less than 10 minutes to get to the destination by bus, and upon arrival, Hye-rim called Ji-eun.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    [Huh? I¡¯m going to eat now. The rice soup delivery just arrived. Why?]


    ¡°So, you haven¡¯t had a drink yet? We¡¯re here.¡±


    [What? Why did you come so early? We still have two hours left.]


    ¡°I¡¯m trying to stop you from drinking.¡±


    [What? Really? Why are you doing this to me? That¡¯s not fair.]


    ¡°So did you order alcohol or not?¡±


    [I didn¡¯t order it]


    ¡°Really? What did you get for the delivery?¡±


    [Why would I get it delivered after having so much in stock? Have you tried vodka with rice soup? It is surprisingly ta¡­¡­]


    ¡°¡­I¡¯m coming, open the door.¡±


    [Huh? Why are you so tough today? You aren¡¯t even giving me some leeway¡­¡­I haven¡¯t even drunk once today]


    ¡°You cannot drink today. I¡¯m coming with Yoon-woo now. I know the password to your door lock.¡±


    [What? Hey, Yoon-woo¡¯s coming? How can you bring him to a girls apartment like that? I haven¡¯t even washed up yet. The house is a mess. Besides¡­¡­ there¡¯s¡­¡­I¡¯ve got my underwear hanging¡­¡­]


    ¡°Then put them somewhere quickly.¡±


    [You are so cruel¡­. (Sob¡­sob)¡­I can¡¯t live peacefully because of my junior. She doesn¡¯t let me drink the alcohol I bought with my money¡­What would my mom say after seeing her daughter live like this¡­. Sobs ]


    ¡°Stop acting, get ready and come out. I¡¯ll go to the mall with Yoon-woo in the meantime.¡±


    [Then can I drink it once for lunch?]


    ¡°NO!¡±


    ¡°Did you hear that, Yoon-woo? Let¡¯s just look at the clothes until Unnie comes.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ can you talk to her like that?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. I used to think she¡¯s just like that, but nowadays she¡¯s been drinking more and more. So, I have to scold her. She just bought vodka for lunch; can you believe that?¡±


    ¡°Well, that¡¯s a little¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°They all say she¡¯s cute. They think she¡¯s a fairy of alcohol. There should be someone to stop her. I¡¯ll go to her apartment next time and steal some alcohol. Anyway, let¡¯s go, Yoon-woo.¡±


    ¡°Yes¡­¡­.¡±


    Although it was a bit strict, Yoon-woo could see that Hye-rim was worried about Ji-eun¡¯s health.


    I¡¯m sure Ji-eun is listening to her because she knows that. Hye-rim and Ji-eun are very good friends.


    Thinking that way, I thought I should advise Bunny to stop drinking today.


    But will Bunny listen to me?


    If she becomes a cold Bunny and gets angry, I won¡¯t be able to say anything.


    Still, Yoon-woo followed Hye-rim into the shopping mall, thinking that he should at least talk with her.


    ¡°As expected, Yoon-woo has long and slim legs, so these jeans look good on you. It¡¯s perfect. Why don¡¯t you buy this?¡±


    Yoon-woo tried black jeans from a pretty famous brand, at Hye-rim¡¯s recommendation.


    Slim and long jeans didn¡¯t fit too tight or loose, so it looked good on Yoon-woo. But¡­¡­.


    79,000 won after a discount? Crazy.


    ¡°Oh, no. I have a lot of pants. It¡¯s okay.¡±


    All I have is old pants that I¡¯ve been wearing since high school.


    I couldn¡¯t buy a new 80,000 won pair of jeans when I was already short of living expenses.


    ¡°That¡¯s too bad. These pants suit Yoon-woo¡­.¡±


    These pants won¡¯t be Yoon-woo¡¯s pants in this life.


    Yoon-woo thought like that, and Hye-rim seemed to be thinking something while staring at the pants.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you go see your clothes? I don¡¯t even know how to look at clothes since I don¡¯t come out often.¡±


    And I have no money.


    ¡°Me? I don¡¯t like¡­¡­ Oh, yeah. Yoon-woo, when is your birthday?¡±


    ¡®Birthday all of a sudden?¡¯


    ¡°It¡¯s October 26th.¡±


    ¡°At the end of the midterm?¡±


    I don¡¯t know why you¡¯re suddenly asking me about my birthday without context, but I thought that she had a reason to ask me to do so.


    ¡°When is Hye-rim¡¯s birthday?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m in March. Why?¡±


    ¡°Just because you asked I got curious.¡±


    ¡°Are you curious about my birthday? It¡¯s March 12th.¡­.¡±


    At that time, Hye-rim¡¯s cell phone rang.


    ¡°Unnie?¡±


    [Where are you?]


    ¡°Are you ready, already?¡±


    [I couldn¡¯t eat much because there was no alcohol. I just sipped the soup, washed the bowl, and came out.]


    ¡°Already? Where are you?


    [I¡¯m at the cosmetics store on the first floor]


    ¡°We¡¯re at the men¡¯s clothing store on the third floor.¡±


    [Then let¡¯s meet on the 8th floor]


    ¡°The 8th floor? But the movie theatre is on the 9th floor.¡±


    [I want ice cream]


    ¡°Oh, my God, when you say it like that you sound like a baby Hehe¡­¡±


    [What? Only kids can like ice cream? Adults like it, too.]


    ¡°Anyway, I get it. See you on the eighth floor, then.¡±


    [Ok.]


    ¡°What is it?¡±


    When Hye-rim hung up, Yoon-woo asked.


    It was too noisy to hear what Ji-eun was saying on the phone.


    ¡°She said to meet her on the eighth floor. She wants to eat ice cream. There¡¯s a Baskins-Robbins.¡±


    ¡°Ice cream? It suits her very well.¡±


    ¡°Right?¡±


    ¡°Noona paid for all the chicken and beer last night, so I¡¯ll buy it this time. Should I buy anything else? Popcorn or something like that.¡±


    Ji-eun asked Yoon-woo to buy coffee, but it is safe to say that coffee means all desserts here.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think so. She only drinks beer when she watches movies. But I won¡¯t let her drink beer.¡±


    ¡°¡­Ji-eun noona is a very consistent person.¡±


    Hye-rim told Ji-eun that she would buy her a meal next month, but she just wanted her to eat a lot of popcorn or whatever, so she could offset the amount of money Yoon-woo spent on her.


    This was because it was a big burden for Yoon-woo to buy Chi-Maek alone.


    Yoon-woo got 50,000 won from Bunny, but he didn¡¯t intend to use it.


    ¡®I was always going to leave 50,000 won in my account.¡¯


    If I spend my money like that now, I¡¯ll have to starve for a few days next week, but that¡¯s more comfortable.


    To Yoon-woo, the goodwill of others was a debt that must be remembered and repaid.


    There was no favour given to Yoon-woo in his life for free.


    Because Yoon-woo was severely criticized by his parents for the money and time they invested in him if he didn¡¯t get good results.


    Good will is not necessarily passed on in good faith to the person you like.


    In many cases, a person who wants to maintain a good relationship with everyone is forced to give it to someone he or she dislikes in consideration of equity with others, or in a social position where he or she has to do favours.


    And Yoon-woo thought that¡¯s all he could get in his life.


    If you don¡¯t repay such favours, you¡¯ll be thrown into the trash in no time.


    For example, he doesn¡¯t prepare a chocolate for White Day for girls in his class where the boys and the girls give chocolates to each other on that day.


    In fact, Yoon-woo prepared it, but his mother, who found snacks in Yoon-woo¡¯s bag, was furious and threw them in the trash.


    ¡°Younha~ ¡±


    [Tl/n: It means hi to Yoon-woo]


    Ji-eun, who came up from the escalator, greeted Yoon-woo in a strange way. Her voice was quite loud.


    ¡°Unnie, don¡¯t do that¡­¡­ I¡¯m ashamed¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°Why? Hye-rim, why are you so strict these days? I can¡¯t even drink.¡±


    Ji-eun wore a hoodie and jeans as she foretold.


    Jeans seemed to be skinny jeans, but Ji-eun¡¯s legs, who was less than 150 cm tall, were very thin, so they were honestly like children¡¯s clothes.


    ¡®Is there a place that sells pants of that size for adults?¡¯


    In addition, the zip-up hoodie that she wore was very loose, but whether she intentionally bought an overfit hoodie or just bought anything because she couldn¡¯t find the right size, it was a style that highlighted Ji-eun¡¯s cuteness.


    ¡°Why are you dressed so cute today, Unnie?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m always cute¡­What are you doing?!¡±


    Hye-rim, who was approaching Ji-eun, suddenly grabbed Ji-eun¡¯s shoulder and put her face to Ji-eun¡¯s collarbone.


    Ji-eun struggled in surprise, but she was ridiculously weak to escape her grip.


    ¡°You, you, were you into this kind of stuff? Although, I guessed it was weird for you not to date a man. All this time, you were after me¡­¡­I¡¯m not that type of woman.¡±


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t smell like alcohol. You really didn¡¯t drink today?¡±


    ¡°Ha¡­ I¡¯m sad. I¡¯m really sad. Even my mom didn¡¯t check me like this.¡±


    ¡°Does your mother know you have vodka at home?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­No.¡±


    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t she do this if she knew?¡±


    ¡°She¡¯ll never know, so it¡¯s okay.¡±


    As Hye-rim hugged Ji-eun, Yoon-woo became a little shy as he looked away.


    ¡°Noona, I¡¯ll buy you ice cream. Let¡¯s go.¡±


    ¡°Huh? I¡¯m going to eat something expensive.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡±


    He also received macarons and coffee from Hye-rim in the past, so on this occasion, he was thinking of liquidating that as well.


    ¡°Noona, Hye-rim, tell me what you¡¯re going to order.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll take an Oreo shake!¡±


    ¡°Pfft¡­¡­ Unnie, you are acting just like a kid today.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Yoon-woo! Hye-rim is teasing me again!¡±


    I¡¯m sure children don¡¯t like Oreo shakes, but the way she looked at the menu and said out loud what she wanted to eat¡­¡­and then looking at the kid sitting with his parents on one side of the store was eating the same thing, it made it even funnier.


    Hye-rim and Yoon-woo ordered ice-creams which were single cups.


    The scene of Ji-eun sucking the Oreo shake as she walked was completely like a child.


    ¡°Oh, so cute.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­¡­ don¡¯t.¡±


    Hye-rim kept poking Ji-eun in the cheek, and it was fun because she looked younger.


    When she sat down and drank yesterday, she had a strong image of a reliable senior, but today it felt like she¡¯s walking with a baby. Maybe it was like this because Ji-eun¡¯s too short, or because she¡¯s not wearing a jacket.


    ================================

 Chapter 11

    Hye-rim and Ji-eun sat on either side leaving a seat for Yoon-woo in the middle of them.


    While searching for seats Ji-eun kept talking to Yoon-woo about the movie, Hye-rim followed.


    ¡°Yoon-woo must be happy. I¡¯ve never seen this in a movie theatre before. I want to watch everything that happens in the movie and watch it as if I¡¯m watching it for the first time.¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo it is okay if you cry you don¡¯t have to hold back just because you are a man, okay? We won¡¯t make fun of you or anything, see, I also brought a handkerchief.¡±


    Ji-eun pulled out a small white handkerchief and shook it.


    Ji-eun had been making a fuss like this beside Yoon-woo ever since they entered the theatre.


    She was excited to hear Yoon-woo¡¯s review as she explained what a masterpiece it was.


    When Yoon-woo asked her about the plot of the movie, she said it would create a bias in his judgement, so she said nothing about the content and only talked about what the Metacritic score and Rotten Tomato score was.


    I think the movie production company will be really pleased to see this senior.


    ¡°No, Yoon-woo. It¡¯s a well-made movie, but there¡¯s nothing to cry about, it¡¯s just Unnie¡¯s oversensitive. You see she cried even when she watched this for the ninth time.¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s because Hye-rim is impassive.¡±


    ¡°Well¡­¡­ Anyway, thank you for taking me to the movie. I¡¯ll enjoy it.¡±


    In fact, Yoon-woo had no expectations about the movie.


    I was going to say the movie is fun.


    First of all, I saw some people in the movie theatre accompanied by a kid, so I thought we were a little too old to watch this movie, but to be honest, Ji-eun was a little¡­¡­ I was thinking her taste is a little childish.


    The scene where Ji-eun, who was sucking Oreo shake like a cute little child, repeated many times in his mind.


    But after the commercial, the title ¡°Inside Out¡± caught my eye, and I remembered that this was the movie that Bunny went to watch alone yesterday.


    And the movie was¡­¡­.


    ¡°Yoon-woo¡­Excuse me¡­Are you okay? Wipe your tears.¡± ¡°You too, Noona.¡±


    ¡°Ugh¡­¡­ Hye-rim is really unemotional¡­sniff¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s just say Yoon-woo is crying because it¡¯s his first time, but why are you crying when it¡¯s your 10th time watching it?¡±


    The handkerchief brought by Ji-eun was already wet with Ji-eun¡¯s tears, and Yoon-woo came out of the bathroom while wiping his tears with a tissue given by Hye-rim.


    Yoon-woo and Ji-eun¡¯s eyes had turned red, and the children who were coming out of the movie looked at them. So, Hye-rim was very embarrassed.


    The main characters of Inside Out were the personified emotions that live in the head of a girl named Riley who moved to an unfamiliar city.


    However, one day after the move, an accident occurred in Riley¡¯s mind, and the key memories that supported Riley¡¯s character were lost.


    Riley¡¯s inner world was about to collapse.


    Riley was sad, angry, and rebellious, and eventually left school without her parents knowing and tried to get on a bus to her hometown by herself.


    In the meantime, Riley¡¯s emotions in her mind, which were going around to retrieve her core memories, barely regained themselves after sacrificing Riley¡¯s innocence.


    But the core memory of being happy wasn¡¯t really made up of joy.


    All the happiness actually came with sadness.


    Riley¡¯s happy memory was the time when she was very sad after losing a hockey match and she was able to overcome it with joy as her teammates and family supported and cheered her up.


    Happiness was the time when you could share your sorrow to the people around you and overcome the sadness with it.


    The movie ended with parents who had been looking for Riley all day, hugging Riley warmly and making it a happy environment for everyone in the family.


    ¡°Whose birthday is it, Christmas Jesus¡¯ or yours?¡±


    Lee Yoon-woo, a second grader in elementary school, learned that other children receive presents and have fun with their parents on Christmas.


    So, I asked my father if we could go out together, and the answer was colder than the snowy weather of December.


    ¡°Can¡¯t you see I¡¯m leaving? Why are you causing all this trouble? You don¡¯t know anything about having a baby! I¡¯m so¡­.¡±


    Yoon-woo had always been foolish.


    But young Yoon-woo was even more foolish.


    It was insanely foolish to think that he deserved his parents¡¯ care, that Yoon-woo could enjoy what others enjoyed, and that something would change if he left the house after crying and whining.


    It was a Christmas filled with snow.


    It snowed heavily outside and the children were going somewhere, chatting happily with their parents or friends.


    Yoon-woo stood in the corner of a playground without a swing and looked enviously at others enjoying Christmas.


    When I watched TV alone at home when no one was home, there were occasional scenes where parents desperately looked for their child who left home and reconciled with tears.


    Like such a scene, I waited hard thinking that my mom or dad would come to me now apologising and say let¡¯s have a great Christmas together.


    My legs started aching, I was cold and hungry.


    Everyone was having a great time. I wished someone would kidnap me rather than mom or dad coming.


    However, poor Yoon-woo¡¯s neighbour didn¡¯t care about the kid sitting alone in the corner of the playground.


    The warm happiness they had in poverty only belonged to their families.


    And why would someone else¡¯s son lie in the corner of the playground at Christmas? So even kidnappers would not kidnap a kid like Yoon-woo.


    The kidnapper didn¡¯t need Yoon-woo either.


    Yoon-woo, on whom snow fell in the corner of the playground, was even more worthless than the snowman who was collapsing right next to him.


    As the sun went down, Yoon-woo naturally returned to his home. However, it was not the angry or the apologizing parents who waited for him, who gave up his hope and returned home, but a dead silence.


    He couldn¡¯t even whine now. There was a note that said, ¡°Don¡¯t play too much and buy a hamburger.¡± and a 10,000 won note on the table.


    Yoon-woo understood at that moment.


    The only happiness allowed to him in his life would be the 10,000 won bill on this table.


    Rather than wandering outside in the cold and admiring the distant happiness that won¡¯t come to you, it¡¯s better to eat hamburgers alone in a dark and comfortable silence.


    The best way is not to look at others¡¯ happiness.


    ¡°Well¡­¡­ so how was the movie, Yoon-woo?¡±


    Hye-rim asked. After the movie we came to the cafe because it was too early to eat.


    The coffee was billed individually. Yoon-woo took longer to wipe his tears and calm down than Ji-eun, so he was just embarrassed.


    ¡°Look, Hye-rim, you¡¯re watching a movie with Yoon-woo and me. But you didn¡¯t watch it with emotions. You should ummm ¡­¡­watch with your heart? Huh? Feel the movie with your heart. Right, Yoon-woo?¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­¡­ well¡­¡­ Well¡­ wouldn¡¯t it be different for everyone?¡±


    ¡°I too watched the movie with heart, okay. It¡¯s just that I don¡¯t get which part of the movie was worth crying about. It¡¯s a little touching movie but not that much that I should cry, but ¡­. Oh¡­. Yoon-woo, not that you¡¯re weird, okay?¡±


    ¡°Then let¡¯s talk amongst ourselves, excluding Hye-rim who doesn¡¯t understand.¡±


    ¡°Unnie!¡±


    ¡°You know what? Every time that pink elephant disappeared, my tear glands burst from within. How was it for Yoon-woo?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m just¡­¡­.¡±


    Lee Yoon-woo, a second grader in elementary school who was wandering around the residential area in the snow, and the scenery of other people in houses which can be seen from the window were all very happy.


    There was a house where people ordered chicken, and a house where a child with a toy was running all over the house which was a Christmas gift.


    But it was not his business. No matter how warm the inside of the window was, it had nothing to do with him, who was being hit by the cold wind alone outside.


    Christmas was Jesus¡¯ birthday, not Yoon-woo¡¯s.


    In fact, Yoon-woo¡¯s birthday gift was just an allowance.


    The movie theatre screen was like a big window that he couldn¡¯t get to feel what was within it.


    A happy view from the window, a warm family, and a boy who has a crush on Riley at the end.


    What was the purpose of this movie?


    Is it saying to Yoon-woo¡­¡¯ Look! I¡¯ve things that you don¡¯t and I¡¯ll show you the things you can¡¯t have!¡¯¡¯


    If this movie had to be a masterpiece for him then there should have been a murderer or a demon at the end.


    ¡°Just what?¡±


    ¡°I just¡­ I envied Riley.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­¡­why¡­¡­¡­?¡±


    I envied everything. Yoon-woo had never experienced anything that the girl has.


    Yoon-woo thought of the day when he was alone outside where it snowed.


    Maybe my parents just didn¡¯t want young me to come back home?


    Why wasn¡¯t anyone home that evening?


    Did the two of them enjoy the freedom of getting away from me, over a dinner at a fancy restaurant?


    I could only find happiness in them, but to them, I was just a stone that hindered happiness.


    ¡°I don¡¯t have parents who would look for me all day¡­ Let¡¯s not talk about that. Haha¡­ How about dinner?¡±


    Yoon-woo quickly changed the subject because he thought he¡¯d ruined the atmosphere for a moment, but he noticed that Hye-rim and Ji-eun understood what he meant.


    If you¡¯re jealous of Riley for her parents who searched for her all day long, Yoon-woo grew up with parents who didn¡¯t love or cared for him. They won¡¯t even search for him if he disappears.


    ¡®Oh, I thought it was weird to see a kid like that moving around alone on campus.¡¯


    In particular, Ji-eun, who watched the same movie 10 times, quickly understood what kind of character Yoon-woo had because of what he just said.


    The moving point of the movie Inside Out is usually to form a sense of sympathy through a girl named Riley.


    The audience suddenly immerse themselves into a girl named Riley, who is thrown into an unfamiliar environment.


    Young Riley, who can¡¯t adapt to changes, is driven by fear or anger, but overcomes pain among those who recognize and love her. The purity of a child that is forced to be abandoned in the process.


    So, the audience relive the value of sad emotions mixed between their happy memories and recall their precious people who shared the moment of sadness.


    What about Yoon-woo? Yoon-woo cannot relate with the character named Riley.


    He envies Riley¡­ He couldn¡¯t even find a fragment of himself in the character Riley.


    So, Yoon-woo was left out of the movie from the beginning to the end.


    His heart ached while watching the family hugging Riley and felt envy for that moment.


    Yoon-woo didn¡¯t cry because of the plot of the movie. Perhaps, he cried because he was so sad that he could not be a part of the movie. He couldn¡¯t relate to the character Riley.


    Ji-eun, who had been on bad terms with her father since she was young, seemed to understand Yoon-woo¡¯s pain a little.


    Ji-eun: ¡°Hey, I think we should go for drinks.¡±


    Yoon-woo: ¡°Noona¡­¡­please¡­¡­.¡±


    Hye-rim: ¡°Unnie, we have a class tomorrow morning.¡±


    Yoon-woo: ¡°I¡¯m in first class, too.¡±


    Ji-eun: ¡°Oh, my.¡±


    Ji-eun: ¡°Then let¡¯s go?¡±


    Hye-rim: ¡°What do you mean? Did you not understand what we just said?¡±


    Ji-eun: ¡°I mean shouldn¡¯t we have at least dinner since we haven¡¯t had anything to eat today? Wouldn¡¯t that be okay?¡±


    Hye-rim: ¡°Are your grades good? I¡¯ve never seen you attend the first period since college started.¡±


    Ji-eun: ¡°Ha¡­¡­Coward Cho Hye-rim! How can you give me a low blow like that?¡°


    Hye-rim: ¡°Hmm¡­ What should we eat then? Yoon-woo, what do you want to eat?¡±


    Yoon-woo: ¡°I¡­¡­ I don¡¯t..¡±


    Actually, Yoon-woo wanted to go home.


    I was embarrassed after crying in front of girls. And, no matter how much Bunny gave me, I didn¡¯t intend to use it, so I wanted to cut back on spending.


    Ji-eun: ¡°Oh, then do you want to go to my house?¡±


    Ji-eun said.


    Hye-rim: ¡°Huh? You told me that your house is a mess. And ¡­.. you had your clothes hanging out, too.¡±


    Ji-eun: ¡°I cleaned up when I came out. It¡¯s okay. What I cooked in the morning was left in the rice cooker. I¡¯ll make you a curry.¡±


    Hye-rim: ¡°Can you cook, too?¡±


    Ji-eun: ¡°Hye-rim.¡±


    Hye-rim: ¡°Huh?¡±


    Ji-eun: ¡°People who drink alone at home have no choice but to be good at cooking. Do you know why?¡±


    Hye-rim: ¡°Well¡­¡­ because you need some food?¡±


    Ji-eun: ¡°You know it well.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­.¡±


    Ji-eun: ¡°I¡¯ve learnt a lot while watching Park Jong-won¡¯s cooking methods. Do you like milk curry?¡±


    Ji-eun: ¡°How about Yoon-woo? Would that be okay for you?¡±


    Yoon-woo: ¡°But wouldn¡¯t it be weird to go into an apartment where a woman lives alone? I¡¯m just going to¡­¡­.¡±


    Ji-eun: ¡°Yoon-woo.¡±


    Yoon-woo: ¡°Huh?¡±


    Ji-eun: ¡°You¡¯re going to run away when I¡¯m going to cook for you with all my efforts in my house? What? A woman¡¯s apartment? Do you see me as a woman by any chance? Were you looking at me like that?¡±


    Yoon-woo: ¡°Oh¡­¡­ that¡¯s not what I meant. I¡¯m sorry. Then should we get some ingredients?¡±


    Ji-eun: ¡°What¡­ don¡¯t you see me as a woman? Yoon-woo, are you ignoring me because I act like a kid?¡±


    Ji-eun spoke in a sulky voice. I don¡¯t know how to answer that.


    Hye-rim: ¡°Stop teasing Yoon-woo and let¡¯s go. Do you need any ingredients?¡±


    Ji-eun: ¡°There are a lot of extra ingredients. I think it¡¯s going to rot soon because I keep getting food delivered. Only the onions are needed¡­¡­ Anyway, let¡¯s enjoy it.¡±


    Hye-rim: ¡°Were you thinking of taking me to your house for dinner from the beginning? You don¡¯t usually clean your room.¡±


    Ji-eun: ¡°No, at first, I was going to drink outside and go in. But I thought you wouldn¡¯t let me drink it. This is the next best thing.¡±


    Hye-rim: ¡°I won¡¯t let you drink at home.¡±


    Ji-eun: ¡°Why the hell?! It¡¯s my house.¡­ Hye-rim, I¡¯ll give you vodka. Let¡¯s drink together. Huh? Or tequila? Or do you like Chinese alcohol?¡±


    Hye-rim: ¡°How many kinds of drinks do you have? It¡¯s because I¡¯m worried about your health. Increase the number of days you don¡¯t drink.¡±


    Ji-eun: ¡°Ok, but as soon as you go back¡­¡­.¡±


    Hye-rim: ¡°As expected, I should take the alcohol to my house. I¡¯ll give you one bottle every month.¡±


    Ji-eun: ¡°As soon as you leave! I was going to wash up and go to bed early. I was going to. Really¡­¡­.¡±


    After arriving at Ji-eun¡¯s house, Yoon-woo was surprised for three reasons.


    First of all, I saw the fact that Ji-eun lived alone in a spacious and nice apartment, secondly I saw the mountain of empty bottles in the corner, and thirdly I saw all kinds of alcohol in the refrigerator and cupboard.


    ¡°You live in a very nice house. Why do you keep empty bottles when it¡¯s house is so neat?


    ¡°I like to keep it rather than throwing it away.¡±


    ¡°Unnie¡­¡­what the hell¡­¡­ the last time I came here, it wasn¡¯t even half of this? Besides, they¡¯re all alcohol bottles.¡±


    ¡°Uh. I don¡¯t get drunk with low alcohol these days. It¡¯s not all liquor. There¡¯s also Chinese alcohol. That¡¯s a real thing over there, it¡¯s called Mao-tai¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Where did you get all the money for this?¡±


    ¡°I got most of these from the allowance I get as with cosmetics I¡¯m not making much these days but overall I can get this much alcohol.¡±


    ¡°So, you really spent all your money on alcohol?¡±


    ¡°No, there¡¯s still some left.¡±


    ¡°Wow¡­ What should I do with my Unnie?¡±


    ¡°What do you mean? The only way to cut back on alcohol is to drink!¡±


    Without answering Ji-eun¡¯s words, Hye-rim quietly took out her smartphone and began to take pictures of her surroundings.


    ¡°Hye-rim? Why are you filming that?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m going to send it to my Unnie¡¯s parents.¡±


    ¡°Come on, you are kidding. You don¡¯t even have my parents¡¯ contact information.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t know, do you? ¡­¡­Hey, Hye-rim. You don¡¯t know, do you?¡±


    ¡°Your father¡¯s name is Yoo, Crown Prince, Junza, right?¡±


    ¡°What? How do you know? Hye-rim¡­ You¡¯re not going to send him the video, are you? Hye-rim?¡±


    But Hye-rim did not answer.

 Chapter 12

    Yoon-woo had to admit that he had a lot of fun on Sunday when he watched the movie and ate curry with Hyerim and Jieun.


    Which memories of the past can be compared to that day? I couldn¡¯t find the single memory even if I scrutinized my past.


    The family¡¯s dinner table, which Yoon-woo dreamed of, eating and washing dishes together, existed only on TV.


    It¡¯s not that I¡¯ve never eaten with my parents.


    But it was just three people eating in the same space.


    They ate their share, washed their dishes, and disposed of their own garbage.


    [So how was your day, Tofu?]


    ¡°The movie she wanted to see was Inside Out.¡±


    [Oh, really? It¡¯s a masterpiece. But it¡¯s been a long time since it went down from the cinema.]


    ¡°There was a rerun near the school.¡±


    [How was it? Was it fun?]


    ¡°I was so embarrassed because I cried¡­¡­.¡±


    [It¡¯s okay, Pixar makes movies where parents cry after taking their kids to show them]


    ¡°I¡¯m glad to hear that, but¡­¡­ Oh, that¡¯s right. I barely spent the money you gave me. I¡¯ll give it back to you. Can you give me your account number?¡±


    The only money Yoon-woo spent that day was his money for the ice-cream.For coffee, Hyerim and Jieun paid for themselves.


    It seemed there would be no problem if I returned 50,000 won to Bunny now.


    [Tofu.]


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    [If you tell me you¡¯ll give me back the money one more time, I¡¯ll get really mad]


    ¡°Huh¡­¡­.¡±


    [Are you not going to see the people you went out with today some other day? You¡¯re going to have to hang out or go eat with them again, so please keep some extra money.]


    ¡°Will that ever happen?¡±


    [Why won¡¯t it? I think at least one person is interested in Tofu. She¡¯s going to ask you to play again.]


    ¡°I¡¯m telling you, it¡¯s not¡­¡­ Come to think of it, I barely talked today. I cried while watching a movie. Wouldn¡¯t everyone feel that I was a boring person? Don¡¯t you think I shouldn¡¯t have called you?¡±


    [Tofu is not a boring person. I¡¯m having fun.]


    ¡°That¡¯s because you are nice.¡±


    [Aren¡¯t they nice then?]


    ¡°No¡­¡­ it¡¯s not¡­¡­ well¡­.¡±


    [Sometimes it seems you try and make things worse on purpose.]


    ¡°Because it¡¯s safe that way.¡±


    [Safe? In what way?]


    ¡°If I live looking forward to another day like today and if it doesn¡¯t come¡­¡­¡±


    [What if a day like that doesn¡¯t come?]


    ¡°Then¡­¡­ I will be sad. It¡¯s easier not to expect anything from the start.¡±


    [But it¡¯s not guaranteed that a day like that won¡¯t come, is it Tofu?]


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Actually, it usually goes worse than I imagine.


    [But I think¡­¡­.it won¡¯t happen so this time.]


    ¡°I¡¯ll just think it¡¯s over for today. From tomorrow, I¡¯m going to live a life of eating salad and canned tuna alone.¡±


    [If everything goes worse than Tofu¡¯s imagination¡­¡­.]


    [I¡¯ll go play with you.]


    I was grateful for Bunny¡¯s words, but I was actually afraid to meet Bunny in person.


    She¡¯s so nice to talk to him right now when she doesn¡¯t know what he looks like, but after meeting, what if she doesn¡¯t like how he looks or acts?


    What if she stops talking to him on Kakao talk?


    Life has always gone worse than I imagine.


    The only positive outlook Yoon-woo has about his life is that he will not be alone when he dies.


    But if Bunny abandons him¡­¡­.


    Unlike Bunny, I was not looking for someone to die with.


    However, after spending time with Bunny, the bud of expectation was growing in my heart.


    Life has been very painful so I hope I¡¯m not alone at the end.


    I really wish I had someone to do my last wish with me.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s anxiety was growing day by day in response to such expectations that he would not be abandoned even if he tried to throw them away.


    ¡°Thank you. By the way, Bunny, there¡¯s something I really wanted to tell you today.¡±


    [What is it?]


    ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you get a control on your drinking? I¡¯m worried about your health.¡±


    [Is that what you want? ¡­¡­I¡¯ll try.]


    Yoon-woo thought he should stop Bunny from drinking even though he can¡¯t control her as strongly as Hye-rim.


    You have to be healthy while you¡¯re alive.


    * * *


    The next morning, just before the economics expert class was over, the second task problem and the first task submission score were revealed.


    The perfect score was 10, but Yoon-woo and Hyerim scored 11.


    The professor had declared that he would give extra points to those who did a particularly good job on the day of the group forming.


    ¡°Wow, Yoon-woo did this alone. We got extra points. I think we¡¯re the only ones who got it.¡±


    ¡°It was just a matter of calculation and the solution was too small, so I solved it in three ways and the professor gave it extra points.¡±


    ¡°Oh, no wonder, I understand the problem, but the process of solving that you used was very unfamiliar. What Lagrangian¡­¡­.¡±


    [ Lagrangian: The Lagrangian function is a technique that combines the function being optimized with functions describing the constraint or constraints into a single equation. ]


    ¡°It¡¯s just nothing. After all, it¡¯s the same method in another way.¡±


    ¡°I feel like I¡¯m being carried by you. What should I do?Oh, yeah, I¡¯ll buy you lunch!¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t do that. The score for the assignment is not that high. And you already got coffee and macarons last time for the same assignment.¡±


    You can¡¯t get a gift twice for the same work.


    ¡°Well¡­¡­.then¡­I¡¯m going to eat with Ji-eun. Do you want to come? I¡¯ll just buy coffee after we eat.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, but the salad I ordered in advance is still in the fridge¡­ I have to eat it. I don¡¯t want to throw it away.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­. I see.¡±


    In fact, it was an excuse I could say last week, but I couldn¡¯t refuse Hye-rim because she had to eat alone because her friend changed the plan.


    It was clear that it was a bigger job to eat with someone like Hye-rim who had to eat alone rather than throwing a 2,700 won salad into the trash bin.


    And in fact, it doesn¡¯t matter if you put vegetables in the refrigerator for a few more days.


    But things are different now. Hye-rim has made an appointment with Ji-eun anyway.


    They¡¯ll be fun without Yoon-woo.


    It hasn¡¯t been long since we decided to speak casually to each other.


    Despite the fact that they can be as professional as possible, Hye-rim had been narrowing the distance between Yoon-woo.


    Yoon-woo was scared.


    Yoon-woo was not scared about the fact that Hye-rim would think he had evil intentions.


    The weekend that he spent with Hye-rim and Ji-eun was so fun, he was scared of that joy.


    Bipolar patients are said to be at a higher risk of suicide than depression patients.


    Depression patients always feel down.


    Although it is hard to move under the heavy crushing pressure which makes the emotion sink to the bottommost, there is also a comforting sense of stability under that pressure.


    Yoon-woo was also feeling comfortable at the bottom of the deep sea.


    ¡®It¡¯s okay because I¡¯m going to die anyway.¡¯ ¡®It¡¯s okay if people hate me.¡¯ ¡®It¡¯ll all be over when I die.¡¯


    Bipolar patients, unlike depression patients, have irregular mood swings.


    It splashes up from the water like a flying fish sometimes, and at some point it suddenly hits the bottom.


    If you fly on the surface of the water, and then fall quickly again to the bottom of the sea, you will bleed and twist your whole body from pain. And that unbearable pain would result in your death.


    Yoon-woo accepted death, but he didn¡¯t want to live such a torturous life.


    So you shouldn¡¯t raise your head for no reason.


    Don¡¯t look up.


    You must not face the surface of the water.


    And the fun weekend was grayed out as he thought it over.


    ¡®Why did you choose Kiki as your favorite movie?¡¯


    ¡®Don¡¯t you think he¡¯s a pervert who likes little kids?¡¯


    ¡®Why did you let Ji-eun pay for the drinks on the spot? Come to think of it, didn¡¯t she look bad?¡¯


    ¡®Wasn¡¯t she annoyed that the drinking party was cut off on the way because of the weak drinker, Yoon-woo?¡¯


    ¡®Why would he say that he¡¯s jealous of Riley?¡¯


    Both of them suddenly shut up.


    ¡®Why did he say he¡¯d trim the curry ingredients when he hadn¡¯t done it before?¡¯


    ¡®He was so clumsy that we had to tell him to sit still.¡¯


    Maybe only Yoon-woo had fun.


    Without Yoon-woo, the two pretty and cute ladies might have had more fun.


    No, I¡¯m sure it would be more fun without me. I ruined their day.


    Hye-rim invited you to a drinking party first, right?


    Ji-eun booked a movie for you first, right?


    That¡¯s right.


    Because they suggested it first, Yoon-woo kept his manners until the end even if it was not fun to not ruin the atmosphere.


    So you have to stay as usual.


    You should not change your attitude towards Hye-rim and Ji-eun.


    Nothing has changed in my life.


    ¡°Where¡¯s Yoon-woo going now? Gym? Library? I¡¯m free right now. Do you happen to¡­¡­.¡±


    Hye-rim asked Yoon-woo, who woke up from a sound sleep after the modern business class.


    ¡°I have to go to the laundry. Coin Laundry.¡±


    ¡°Huh? You didn¡¯t do it at home?¡±


    ¡°The one in my room doesn¡¯t work well¡­ I should have done it yesterday, but I forgot.¡±


    ¡°I see¡­¡­ Well¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Then goodbye, Hye-rim.¡±


    ¡°Huh? Wait a minute!¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Do you have salad for dinner?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right.¡±


    ¡°Alone? Every day?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Yes.¡±


    I was wondering what you were going to ask, but I didn¡¯t know you were an insider who would confirm that I am a weird person even before I was leaving.


    This one was a little heartbreaking.


    ¡°But last week, you ate at the snack bar I chose with you, didn¡¯t we eat with Ji-eun on Saturday, and on Sunday¡­¡­ Then do you eat salad at home?¡±


    I don¡¯t know why you¡¯re showing so much interest in salads.


    Is Hye-rim trying to order salad, too?


    ¡°I didn¡¯t eat it then, so the rest of the salad is a little past its expiration date. That¡¯s why I have to eat quickly.¡±


    ¡°Why do you eat something that¡¯s past it¡¯s expiration date?You have to throw it away, Yoon-woo!¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ It¡¯s good to eat. And it¡¯s hard to throw it away as I¡¯m a little low on my living expenses.¡±


    ¡°Then you know what¡­¡­ I¡¯ll treat you to dinner, because I¡¯m the one who made you throw that salad away. What do you think?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not true, Hye-rim, thanks to you, I got some tteokbokki and had a great weekend, but I won¡¯t throw away the salad because of Hye-rim¡­.¡±


    If there is someone who thinks like that and asks Hye-rim to buy a meal, he must be an extremely antisocial person.


    ¡°I¡¯m really fine, so you don¡¯t have to care. The last time I ate something was a week old and it didn¡¯t get me sick, okay?¡±


    Hye-rim is a person who really cares about others in detail.


    I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re going to buy me a meal at lunch because of the extra points for the assignment and the salad that¡¯ll pass the expiration date in the evening.


    As expected, being a real insider doesn¡¯t mean just being pretty or handsome.


    People who really follow don¡¯t miss such a trivial consideration from the other person¡¯s point of view.


    Isn¡¯t ¡°Goonja¡± what Confucius used to say a true insider in modern times?


    [ Goonja: You can search here.


    Meaning an exemplary person.


    http://askakorean.blogspot.com/2011/01/confucianism-and-korea-part-ii-what-is.html?m=1%5D


    ¡°Then see you on Wednesday, Hye-rim.¡±


    Hye-rim bit her lips with a look of displeasure and waved softly at Yoon-woo.


    [So you refused to let her have a meal with you just to eat the salad? Our nicknames are wrong. It¡¯s not me who is Bunny, it¡¯s you.]


    Yoon-woo was sitting on a blanket, folding his laundry, plugging in his earphones and listening to Bunny.


    Many of the residents do not fold the laundry and use the drying rack in their rooms, but Yoon-woo¡¯s room was too small to even open the drying rack, so dry laundry had to be folded and put in the closet.


    In fact, Yoon-woo likes to organize his clothes and put them in.


    ¡°I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m eating salad, too.¡­. But I really couldn¡¯t help it because of the food expenses.¡±


    [What about the 50,000 won I gave you? I gave it to you to eat food.]


    ¡°Since you gave it to me I can¡¯t use it carelessly¡­¡­.¡±


    [No, then when are you going to use it¡­¡­? I told you to eat something good, but you didn¡¯t. It¡¯s my fault, I should have sent 500,000 won to buy it. Should I send it now?]


    ¡°Oh, no! No, no, no, no way!


    [I can¡¯t even do that? Why?]


    ¡°Then how would Bunny eat?¡±


    [Tofu¡­ Why do you think I don¡¯t have money? I know your account details, so I¡¯ll just send it to you right away. Even if you don¡¯t eat with someone, eat something delicious by yourself. Something like chicken.]


    ¡°If Bunny sends me the money, I won¡¯t spend it until you take it back.¡±


    [Why? Tofu¡­ We¡¯re supposed to die together anyway, so it¡¯s meaningless for me to save money, right? Can¡¯t I just send some money to you to eat meat and chicken for your own good health?]


    ¡°I¡¯m going to die anyway. Why does it matter whether I eat delicious food or not? More than that, I don¡¯t want to talk to Bunny while feeling indebted.¡±


    [Debt? Debt? I¡¯m just giving it to Tofu as a gift]


    ¡°Even if you gift meI feel burdened. I don¡¯t want to be with Bunny like that.¡±


    To Yoon-woo, a gift that someone gave to him felt like a kind of debt to pay off someday.


    [So you don¡¯t spend that 50,000 won because you think it¡¯s a debt?]


    ¡°¡­¡­So I want you to take that back too.¡±


    [You¡¯re so¡­ Hah, Tofu is a really, really difficult person.]


    ¡°What¡¯s difficult?¡±


    [To win your heart. It¡¯s always like an iron wall.]


    ¡°Ah, what? Come on.¡±


    Such a saying is established on the premise that there is someone who wants to have Yoon-woo¡¯s heart.


    There has never been anyone like that.


    The price of goods without demand is 0 won.


    So Yoon-woo removed the product from the shelf a long time ago.

 Chapter 13

    Hye-rim was anxious.


    When I drank and watched the movie together with Yoon-woo, thanks to Ji-eun, everything seemed to flow like a breeze.


    We took two classes together, did homework together, ate together, drank together, and watched a movie together.


    Isn¡¯t this enough to be called close friendship by anyone?


    So I wanted to pour out everything I wanted to do when I got close to Yoon-woo and everything I¡¯ve endured for 10 years.


    Chatting while eating together, studying together for exams, looking at flowers together, and hanging out together. I want to do it all.


    But things didn¡¯t go as well as I thought.


    Why hasn¡¯t it changed since last week?¡¯


    Yoon-woo went to his house saying he had to eat the leftover salad.


    Hye-rim honestly didn¡¯t think of this situation.


    Hye-rim really didn¡¯t have an ax disease, but so far, most men around Hye-rim have tried to make appointments with Hyerim whenever they had time, and Hye-rim was busy avoiding it by that disease excuse. But, if she took initiative and called someone, they would come to her no matter what. So, she had never been rejected by anyone.


    [ Ax disease: Axial Spondyloarthritis is a chronic, inflammatory rheumatic disease that affects the axial skeleton, causing severe pain, stiffness and fatigue. The disease typically starts in early adulthood, a critical period in terms of education and beginning a career path ]


    Hye-rim came to the classroom thinking about which restaurant she should go with Yoon-woo and what kind of food Yoon-woo would like.


    But the reason why he refused was because of the salad that passed its expiration date.


    It was shocking that she was pushed back by a salad that passed its expiration date, but it was also shocking that he lived by eating such things.


    I heard it¡¯s hard to eat outside for him because of the lack of living expenses, but I didn¡¯t expect it to be this bad¡­¡­.


    Can¡¯t I just buy you a meal everyday? Honestly, I have a lot of money.


    Her father was a person who showed his love and care by spending a lot of money on her.


    Since I started living alone, that sense of responsibility has become worse.


    Not only did the monthly allowance exceed 1 million won, but money also came from a shop named Hye-rim.


    Whether I like it or not, the money kept coming in anyway. So, I wanted to save some money and spend the rest on my living expenses. But, I didn¡¯t have much money to spend other than eating, so there¡¯s always some money left.


    It¡¯d be great to go around and eat with Yoon-woo and drink together and buy him clothes.


    Yoon-woo probably hasn¡¯t traveled abroad, so wouldn¡¯t it be fun if we went together?


    ¡°That¡¯s not true, Hye-rim, thanks to you, I got some tteokbokki and had a great weekend, and I didn¡¯t throw away the salad because of you.¡­.¡±


    The answer that came back somehow felt like that I was finding an excuse to eat with him. That¡¯s a Yoon-woo-like answer.


    But, can¡¯t you just accept what I give you and hang out with me?


    If you stay home because you don¡¯t have any money, when will you hang out with me?


    But Yoon-woo is nice¡­¡­ If I continue making plans like this, he will stop refusing after some time.


    With that thought, Hye-rim became patient and kept talking to Yoon-woo.


    On Wednesday, the economics class ended and it was lunch time.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, how are you today? Ji-eun and I are supposed to go eat bong cho-su dumplings today. Will you come with us? I¡¯m buying, so don¡¯t feel burdened.¡­.¡±


    ¡®It¡¯s a burden because you¡¯re buying.¡¯


    Yoon-woo thought. Since last Monday, Hye-rim has been wanting to buy him a meal, but he felt too pressured.


    I was trying hard to pay Ji-eun back for drinks and a meal next month so I didn¡¯t want to have a new debt which I don¡¯t know how long it would take to pay back.


    I thought you would stop suggesting it if I kept rejecting it.


    Two days have passed since he rejected Hye-rim¡¯s plan on Monday. So, the excuse with the salad¡¯s expiration date will not work.


    It¡¯s past the actual date, so she¡¯ll tell me to throw it away.


    But today there was a more plausible reason.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Hye-rim. I have prior plans for today.¡±


    ¡°With whom?¡±


    Hye-rim¡¯s smile disappeared and her forehead was distorted.


    She seemed to be trying to raise the corners of her mouth, but she couldn¡¯t hide her displeasure.


    Yoon-woo regretted choosing the wrong word, although he would feel bad if he made an excuse like that to eat alone.


    ¡°Is it¡­. is it a woman? Do you have a girl to eat salad with?¡±


    ¡°Oh, no. What do you mean a woman? I¡¯m going to the hospital. The doctor is a woman. Haha¡­¡­.¡±


    Surprised by Hye-rim¡¯s sarcastic tone and cold voice, Yoon-woo hurriedly gave a reason.


    It was true. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist at 1 o¡¯clock today.


    ¡°Hospital? Yoon-woo, are you sick? Do you have a cold?¡±


    Fortunately, Hye-rim¡¯s expression and voice soon changed when he revealed his destination.


    Instead, she asked Yoon-woo in a worried tone.


    ¡°No¡­ It¡¯s just a regular hospital. I have a reservation at one o¡¯clock.¡±


    ¡°Couldn¡¯t you tell me if you were sick or something before making a reservation?¡±


    I didn¡¯t want to say it, but I couldn¡¯t say no to Hye-rim who seemed really worried about me.


    ¡°Uh¡­¡­ I just haven¡¯t been sleeping lately¡­¡­I¡¯m going to the psychiatry department.¡±


    Yoon-woo was not good at lying. And, it was not completely a lie because there are sleeping pills in the medicine he takes.


    These days, even if some people go to the psychiatrist¡¯s department, you don¡¯t treat them like mental patients right away, but it¡¯s no good to tell her that I¡¯m taking medicine for depression.


    Even on the Internet, if you say you had depression, they will only be


    ¡®Shouldn¡¯t you be lying on the bed if you¡¯re depressed? You still have the power to touch your phone. ¡® or ¡® Stay Positive! Change your mind ¡® sentences.There will only be people who give such sarcastic remarks or useless advice.


    No matter who the person is, it¡¯s best not to say anything to the other about your depression.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, did you know that doctors at our college can also prescribe sleeping pills? You don¡¯t have to book a psychiatrist far from school.¡±


    Of course I know.bBut, I didn¡¯t know that you would know that.


    ¡°Is it something else? Can¡¯t you consult with me? I don¡¯t have any prejudice, so I really want to help Yoon-woo no matter what you¡¯re struggling with.¡­.¡±


    The foolishness of accepting these words sincerely has already been abandoned by Yoon-woo, a second grader in elementary school, next to a collapsing snowman.


    ¡°No, the economy is bad these days. Most people are all depressed, aren¡¯t they? That¡¯s why I¡¯m just taking medicine. So don¡¯t worry.¡±


    Do I think they¡¯re all depressed? Actually, I don¡¯t know, but they say so.


    Will Hye-rim be depressed, too? I think Hye-rim will be excited just by looking at herself in the mirror.


    ¡°Yoon-woo¡­¡­, but¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°I think I need to hurry up and go. I have to go home and pack my stuff before I go to the hospital. And, if you don¡¯t leave soon, Bongcho-su will be gone soon. There¡¯s always a lot of people there.¡±


    It was a shop that was immediately visible when I left the building every time there was an economics class, so I saw it often while passing by.


    ¡°¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°See you in fifth period.¡±


    Yoon-woo said Hye-rim to see in the fifth period. Then, he turned away from her and escaped from the crowd like running away.


    I didn¡¯t want to see her face. What if she is a good person who really cares about me?


    Actually, he hated it more.


    What annoys a person trapped in a cave with no end in sight is not the darkness of the cave, but the dimly visible light of the exit.


    If there is no light or wind, they will think about how to live in this dark cave, find food and find water, but a handful of hope that there is an escape makes humans unable to give up and keep wandering.


    And eventually it pushes them into a deep abyss of despair.


    So Yoon-woo decided not to find a way out from the cave a long time ago.


    No matter who Hye-rim is, it will have no effect on Yoon-woo¡¯s plan to die in three years.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, how have you been feeling?¡±


    ¡°It is the same.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s been a while since college started, is there anyone you¡¯ve gotten close to? Don¡¯t you want to join a club or something?¡±


    ¡°Nothing.¡±


    Yoon-woo still answered the doctor¡¯s useless questions.


    The dose of the prescribed medication has not decreased today.


    ¡°Hey, Yoon-woo is too cold. What should I do?¡±


    Hye-rim, who sat facing J-ieun at Bongcho-su¡¯s dumpling, who recommended Yoon-woo to go earlier with her, told Ji-eun.


    ¡°Hye-rim. You are too cold to me. What should I do?¡±


    ¡°No, take it seriously, sister.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m asking you seriously, too. When you eat delicious dumplings like this, you can add a bottle of fruit wine, right?¡±


    ¡°Your father¡¯s number is¡­¡­ 010- 5129-¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. What did Yoon-woo say?


    ¡°Yoon-woo seems to be hiding too many things from me.¡±


    ¡°In what way?¡±


    ¡°I want Yoon-woo to talk about all his worries and rely on me, but he seems to draw a sharp line saying, ¡®I¡¯m not in that kind of relationship with you¡¯¡­and no matter what I say or do he doesn¡¯t change¡­¡­.which makes me sad¡±


    ¡°He¡¯ll do that to anyone, not just you.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t have any issues if he does that to anyone but just not me.¡±


    ¡°It hasn¡¯t been long since you two met.¡±


    ¡°Then will it be different if we hang out together regularly?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think so.¡±


    ¡°Then what?¡±


    ¡°Hye-rim, this may sound rude, but Yoon-woo is probably a child who didn¡¯t receive much love from his family and friends while he grew up.¡±


    ¡°Do you think so too?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s the impression I got after watching the movie on Sunday. You see, it¡¯s weird for such a tall, pretty-looking boy to run around the campus and lay low by staying away from others, right? If I were another freshman, I¡¯d already be crazy about sexuality.¡­.¡±


    ¡°Unnie!¡±


    ¡°Well, anyway. People who grew up without love when they were young have a hard time giving love to others, and they can¡¯t accept the love that others give them.¡±


    ¡°How do you know that?¡±


    ¡°One day while drinking I watched a documentary that said something like that.¡±


    ¡°Then¡­¡­?¡±


    ¡°We should hangout once in a while keeping a certain distance like last weekend, shouldn¡¯t we?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not gonna make a difference, is it?¡±


    ¡°He doesn¡¯t seem to have a lot of time and money, and he shuts himself when others approach him, so it¡¯s hard to flirt with him like everyone else. If I were another guy right now, I¡¯d have thought of my grandchild¡¯s name when you asked me to drink, and there will be awkwardness while speaking with you inevitably¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°Do men ever think like that of me or am I not attractive to just him?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not true¡­I guess he just can¡¯t think of it.¡±


    ¡°Can¡¯t I make him think that?¡±


    ¡°Well, why don¡¯t you go naked and jump in, hehe¡­¡­ Huh¡­¡­ Hye-rim? Are you listening to me?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Then why aren¡¯t you arguing¡­¡­I¡¯m surprised.¡±


    ¡°Anyway, aren¡¯t you saying I should be more blatant?¡±


    ¡°Huh? That¡¯s what I meant.¡­.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re right¡­¡­ I think I screwed up when I was in fourth grade. I should¡¯ve just flirted with him.¡±


    ¡°Hye-rim? Calm down. I didn¡¯t say that.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, unnie. I think I¡¯ve cleared my thoughts a bit. Now I¡¯m just going to do what I want and tell him what I want to say.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t listen to me¡­ Anyway, if you¡¯re grateful, can I order a bottle of fruit wine?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Why wouldn¡¯t you let me when I¡¯m paying?¡­ Oh, okay, I won¡¯t talk about that anymore. Just, calm down.¡±


    Ji-eun thought Hy-erim was becoming a strict mother, but she was scared to look at her, so she quietly ate dumplings without saying anything.


    Hye-rim seemed to be a little sensitive after talking with Yoon-woo.


    She¡¯s still a good junior and a good friend, but I¡¯m a little scared.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s psychiatric consultation ended in 10 minutes.


    Thinking that he should take the medicine on his way home after class, Yoon-woo put his prescription in his bag and headed to the lecture room.


    I don¡¯t know why I have to come every two weeks when you¡¯re going to be like this.


    It would be convenient if you could just give me medicine for a month or two.


    ¡°Yoon-woo! Did you have a good trip?¡±


    When Yoon-woo entered the classroom, Hye-rim next to him greeted him with a smile.


    Even though there was 30 minutes left before class, she¡¯s sitting here already.


    As she greeted him, Hye-rim handed Yoon-woo coffee and macarons again like last week.


    ¡°Hye-rim? Why did you¡­¡­?¡±


    ¡°Thanks to Yoon-woo, I got extra points, and¡­ I think Yoon-woo is having a hard time.¡­. So I brought this to cheer you up!¡±


    ¡°Oh, thank you, but you gave it to me last week, didn¡¯t you? It¡¯s a bit of a burden if you keep giving me things like this.¡­.¡±


    ¡°Are you feeling pressured? Yoon-woo? From me?¡±


    It was an embarrassing question.


    ¡°Huh? Huh? Uh¡­¡­ Well, macarons are expensive, aren¡¯t they? To be honest, I don¡¯t have much money, so I can¡¯t repay Hye-rim even if I get this¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to pay me back. I told you this is a reward.¡±


    ¡°No, then I¡¯ll feel like I¡¯m indebted.¡±


    ¡°Why would you feel indebted by taking it from me?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­¡­?¡±


    Hye-rim¡¯s words are weird.


    It was hard to find an answer because she held his tongue in a strange way.


    ¡°So in the end, Yoon-woo doesn¡¯t like me because I¡¯m burdensome?¡±


    ¡°Huh? Hye-rim? What¡¯s wrong with you all of a sudden?¡­? When did I say I didn¡¯t like you¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s 1:30 now, isn¡¯t it, Yoon-woo? You said you had an appointment at the hospital at 1 o¡¯clock, right? Only 30 minutes to walk back here after consulting? Then, it is about 15 minutes from Anam Station to the Business Management University. So it looks like a hospital not too far away.The class ended at 11:45, so we had plenty of time, but even then you refused to have lunch with me¡­ ¡­ . You don¡¯t like me, do you?¡±


    Hye-rim spoke in a quiet voice, but there were tears around her eyes and her voice was shaking, so I felt like she was about to cry.


    Yoon-woo had never faced this situation before, and he didn¡¯t know what to do because he didn¡¯t expect Hyerim, the cool insider, to say this.


    Before other students came in, I had to soothe Hye-rim no matter what.


    ¡°No, Hye-rim. Why would I not like you? Never.¡±


    ¡°Then why did you do that at lunch?¡±


    ¡°Hye-rim, I really didn¡¯t have enough money for food. I was going to eat my salad and tuna that I bought at home. I really didn¡¯t mean anything else.¡±


    ¡°Why are you talking about food bills? I told you I¡¯d buy it for you!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll be indebted if I keep getting that¡­¡­ Ah¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°So, Yoon-woo doesn¡¯t like me because I¡¯m a burden for you.¡±


    Hye-rim¡¯s voice was loud. It was crazy logic, but it was also undeniable logic for Yoon-woo.


    ¡°No, Hye-rim. That¡¯s not it¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°What if it¡¯s not? Aren¡¯t you going to say no next time when I say I¡¯ll buy it for you?¡±


    However, Hye-rim opened the way for conversation unexpectedly quickly.


    Thinking of avoiding the situation, Yoon-woo accepted the remark without much thought.


    ¡°Yes, I won¡¯t. I¡¯ll never do it, so please calm down¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°Yes, okay! Then, Yoon-woo, see you tonight?¡±


    ¡°Huh? Today?¡±


    ¡°No? You don¡¯t like me?¡±


    ¡°Oh, no, no, no. It¡¯s not like that, Hye-rim.¡±


    Hye-rim smiled as if she hadn¡¯t been angry when Yoon-woo answered.


    Yoon-woo leaned against the chair and thought about what was going on throughout the class.


    ================================

 Chapter 14

    ¡°Yoon-woo, where are you going now?¡±


    Hye-rim asked me as soon as the modern business class was over.


    ¡°I am going to the library. We still have a lot of time until dinner.¡­.¡±


    Yoon-woo¡¯s voice trembled because he was afraid that Hye-rim would pressurise him again.


    ¡°I see.¡±


    Fortunately, Hye-rim was packing quietly without saying much.


    She must have felt very bad about me refusing her favor at lunch with sloppy excuses.


    I didn¡¯t sleep and agonized throughout the class, but that was the only answer.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s excuse lost its credibility because the hospital was near to university.


    Hye-rim said she was going to eat dumplings with Ji-eun. So, I assumed it was right for her to talk for a long time while drinking coffee after eating, and then come to the management class later. That¡¯s why I thought she would be late to class so I came early.


    ¡°Then let¡¯s go, Yoon-woo.¡±


    ¡°Huh? Where?¡±


    ¡°I heard you¡¯re going to the library.¡±


    ¡°Huh¡­? Are you coming with me?¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t?¡±


    ¡°No, of course you can. But, uh¡­ I¡¯m going to go to the library at the corner of the building.¡±


    ¡°So?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a little far from your house, right?¡±


    ¡°Do you not like it if I come with you?¡±


    ¡°Oh, no, not at all. I just thought Hye-rim would have a hard time.¡­. ¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not hard at all, so let¡¯s go.¡±


    Yoon-woo thought that he should just shut up and talk less today because missiles kept flying from unforeseen places.


    Yoon-woo and Hye-rim arrived at the library which had a piano room and not a reading room.


    The piano room had desks and chairs in an open space with a grand piano in the middle, so that anyone could play the piano.


    Since they came to the library together anyway, they decided to go to a piano room where they could speak and talk to each other to solve the problems of this week¡¯s economics class project.


    ¡°Oh, Yoon-woo¡¯s solution is more understandable. Should I do it again¡­?¡±


    ¡°I think your answer and explanation is also correct. Let¡¯s move on.¡±


    ¡°But I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll get extra points.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think you have to go after it on purpose. It¡¯s not that the score is so important.¡±


    ¡°Ah, okay.¡±


    It was another easy question for those who knew the subject, so Yoon-woo and Hye-rim reviewed it quickly and easily. After that, they were taking out their own books, reading their own subjects.


    A couple came to the piano and sat shoulder to shoulder.


    The woman played the piano beautifully. Since she majored in piano, there was no awkwardness in her music and she continued to play classical songs one after another.


    In fact, the reason why Yoon-woo didn¡¯t come here often was because he could only play ordinary songs and his piano skills were completely random.


    In the past, I came without much thought because there were no people, but it was difficult to concentrate on the book because of the mistakes that some piano major students made while practicing , so I thought I shouldn¡¯t come again.


    There were very few great performers like today.


    Hye-rim also took her eyes off the book and looked at the piano for a long time, as if she liked the sound of music.


    It looked good up to this point. After the performance, the woman kissed the man on the cheek and turned her head to another direction and rubbed her cheeks as if she was shy.


    When she came in, I wondered if she¡¯d seen me and Hye-rim here.


    Although people say that that is a form of greeting each other overseas, what they did is a bit inappropriate to do in public, and it was more like lovers¡¯ affection.


    After a while, the woman who barely stopped rubbing her cheeks told the man to play the piano keys one by one.


    The man really played whatever he wanted, regardless of the black and white keys, but the woman strangely continued to play the accompaniment that matched his notes, turning the music that the man played randomly into a beautiful tune.


    A man who admires a woman in wonder, a woman who looks at a man like that with pleasure¡­¡­.


    Then, the man¡¯s hand wrapped around the woman¡¯s waist and the woman stroked the man¡¯s thigh, and their faces got closer.


    Hot, passionate eyes looking at each other, and then¡­the physical affection between those two grew to a point where Yoon-woo couldn¡¯t look at them anymore.


    ¡°I can do that, too.¡±


    Hye-rim said.


    When their tongues were tangling with each other, she spoke. I wonder what she was talking about.


    I think she was not talking about the kiss but piano.


    ¡°Huh? Uh¡­¡­ Hye-rim is amazing. You can play the piano, too.¡±


    ¡°Do you want to go and try?¡±


    In the beginning, I listened to the performance with admiration, but I was embarrassed because it was hard to see the increasing physical affection.


    If it wasn¡¯t for Yoon-woo and Hye-rim, they wouldn¡¯t have just stopped at the kiss.


    Sitting shoulder to shoulder with Hye-rim on the piano right there after seeing that scene¡­¡­.


    ¡°Uh¡­¡­ I¡­¡­¡­That¡¯s what I¡¯ve just seen, so I¡¯m embarrassed to sit there.¡­.¡±


    ¡°Well, you always refuse everything that I say.¡±


    ¡°Huh? Hye-rim?¡±


    Yoon-woo¡¯s face was burning with embarrassment.


    But looking at Hye-rim¡¯s lips that went up smoothly, fortunately, this must have been a joke.


    Afterwards, they were able to spend time focusing on their studies without any particular argument.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, let¡¯s go eat now¡±.


    The time had finally come. Since Hye-rim¡¯s persuasion itself became irresistible, Yoon-woo was going to ask her to eat something as cheap and light as possible.


    First, ask Hye-rim if she has a place in mind, and Hye-rim will ask Yoon-woo¡¯s opinion, so wouldn¡¯t it be appropriate to answer it like a hamburger?


    Then, I will feel less pressure to repay her later. He asked Hyerim with that thought.


    ¡°Hye-rim, where are we eating?¡±


    ¡°I already made a reservation.¡±


    ¡°Huh? When?¡±


    ¡°I went out for a while after watching the couple play the piano.¡±


    ¡°Oh my¡­ Where did you make the reservation?¡±


    ¡°Come and see.¡±


    Where the hell is it? It should be a place where the amount of money is suitable for me to repay you.


    But a restaurant that gets reservations in this neighborhood, is there such a place?


    Unfortunately, all hamburger restaurants will be excluded.


    And since it¡¯s crowded everywhere in the evening, they won¡¯t accept reservations unless it¡¯s a group, but if it wasn¡¯t too expensive.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s footsteps following Hye-rim were heavy.


    ¡°Hye-rim¡­ This is¡­Are we really going there?¡±


    ¡°Yes, let¡¯s go in.¡±


    ¡°Hye-rim, I have a really small appetite. It would be a waste to take me to places like this. Even if I go to eat something like a school lunch box¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo?¡±


    ¡°Uh, huh?¡±


    ¡°If you don¡¯t come in, I will think you don¡¯t like me, ok?¡±


    ¡°Hye-rim¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.¡±


    In the end, Yoon-woo had no choice but to follow Hye-rim inside because he could not overcome her fierce gaze.


    Hye-rim made reservation at Tour de Gusto.


    It was an expensive restaurant in the university district, but students couldn¡¯t get in easily.


    ¡°No¡­ The cheapest menu is 18,000 won?¡±


    It was more expensive than Yoon-woo¡¯s four meals combined. I was going to order the cheapest menu anyway, but my lips were falling off at every item in the menu because it was much more expensive than I thought.


    But if I try to starve for a few days and save some money¡­¡­.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, why are you looking at the menu like that? Did you not know that I already placed the order when we came in?¡±


    ¡°Uh? Already did it?¡±


    ¡°Huh. Even if I asked Yoon-woo to pick it, I thought you would pick the cheapest dish anyway, so I made the decision on my own.¡±


    ¡°What did you order?¡±


    ¡°Oh, would you like a bottle of wine too?¡±


    She ignored Yoon-woo. Looking at the menu, the cheapest wine is 80,000 won.


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Hye-rim, isn¡¯t it Monday? Do you drink on Monday?¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo, do you have a first period tomorrow?¡±


    ¡°Yes¡­ ¡­ uh¡±


    It wasn¡¯t true, but I couldn¡¯t help it. This is a serious matter to lie about.


    ¡°Then there is nothing we can do. We will have wine next time we come to eat.¡±


    Next? There was no way Yoon-woo sas coming back to this place ever again in his life.


    A salad topped with yuzu dressing was served, and after a while, the main dish was brought in.


    Yoon-woo chewed the salad a little, but he didn¡¯t know if it was going through his mouth or his nose.


    ¡°I got a sirloin steak with truffle flavor.¡±


    ¡®What kind of steak?¡¯


    ¡°Tell me if you need anything else,okay?¡±


    ¡°No¡­ ¡­ this is enough¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    It was a sufficient amount for Yoon-woo, who had a small appetite.


    Rather, it seemed that it was not enough for Hye-rim.


    While slicing the meat, I glanced at the menu and found that the price was 38,000 won, the most expensive dinner menu in the restaurant.


    This was not a menu created with the assumption that students would come here to eat.


    ¡°No matter how much I think about it, Yoon-woo should eat more meat. How can an adult man live on only salad and tuna?¡±


    ¡°I bought a lot of it because it had a high percentage of lean meat and protein, so if I eat it, I will be more full than you think.¡±


    ¡°Aren¡¯t you tired of eating that every day?¡±


    ¡°I like canned tuna, so that¡¯s okay.¡±


    Of course, I¡¯m tired.


    However, Yoon-woo was eating as if he was eating only to live.


    Eating for pleasure is permitted to only those who can afford it to some extent.


    Such a pleasure is not something that a beggar like Yoon-woo should consider having.


    However, the 38,000 won steak that went into Yoon-woo¡¯s mouth now clearly exceeded the level of extravagance that was allowed for Yun-woo.


    But not eating this meat was impossible under the current circumstances.


    Thinking that he was going to pretend, Hye-rim asked when Yoon-woo completed more than half of the meat.


    ¡°How is it? Does it suit your taste?¡±


    ¡°Huh. It¡¯s very tasty. I¡¯m eating something so delicious for the first time. Thank you, Hye-rim.¡±


    One meal costs 38,000 won, and you have to tell it¡¯s delicious even if the meat tastes like mint chocolate.


    Of course, the meat was really good. But, it was a waste.


    Even with a much cheaper food, I would have been able to create the same sentiment within myself.


    ¡°Really? Heh, I¡¯m glad.¡±


    ¡°Still¡­ ¡­ No matter what I think about it, this place is too expensive for me.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t start saying it¡¯s a burden and what not, okay?¡±


    That¡¯s right. It was unbearably burdensome.


    It is burdensome to eat with Hye-rim, and it is burdensome to eat such an expensive meal, and now both scenarios were taking place at the same time.


    Hye-rim¡¯s brow frowned as it was expected what would come out of Yoon-woo¡¯s mouth.


    Still, this shouldn¡¯t happen again.


    For the remaining three years, the most important thing for Yoon-woo is a calm mind, and there is no need for pleasure in eating.


    ¡°Honestly, yes. Hye-rim. It¡¯s not because I really hate you. Which man in the world could hate you?¡±


    ¡°A man like Yun-woo.¡±


    ¡°I told you I don¡¯t¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Then why do you keep avoiding me? Ji-eun unnie also bought Yoon-woo alcohol, showed you a movie, and even cooked for you, but why are you avoiding going out with me for a meal or anything?¡±


    ¡°I know that. I just need to pay back about 15,000 won to Ji-eun noona.¡±


    At a chicken restaurant, roughly 10,000 won per person and 10,000 won for a movie ticket, Yoon-woo bought an Oreo Shake, so I thought it would be about that much.


    Curry made by Ji-eun noona herself¡­ ¡­ . I didn¡¯t know how to do the calculation, so it was on hold in my head.


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ Have you been counting it that far? Ji-eun unnie forgets all those things after a day, do you know?¡±


    ¡°Huh? If I don¡¯t calculate and repay her, I won¡¯t be able to live comfortably.¡±


    Otherwise, it seemed that the other party would immediately curse and criticize him at any moment.


    Just like the girls who continued to gossip about Yoon-woo since I didn¡¯t return the chocolate at White Day in high school.


    ¡°Because of assignments and classes, Hye-rim was able to see Ji-eun more often than me, weren¡¯t you? But every time you took me to eat with Ji-eun, it became difficult for me to repay her, and I will look pathetic if I can¡¯t even repay her. I won¡¯t be able to hold my head up if that happens. And, this meal¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think Yoon-woo is pathetic at all! So for me it¡¯s just¡­ ¡­ It¡¯s okay to take it comfortably without thinking about repaying as if a knife is chasing behind you. I¡¯m just giving because I want to give, so don¡¯t worry¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°What should I do? I¡¯m worried¡­ ¡­ While eating this delicious meal, this steak, which has exceeded my budget, all I could think about was how to pay it back.¡±


    ¡°Is it necessary to give and take money from each other for meals in such a way that would make me feel uncomfortable? That¡¯s just a deal, right? I didn¡¯t come to lend money to Yoon-woo so that you could repay me. I¡¯m really just here to feed you meat. To see you enjoy eating this delicious meat.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Hye-rim. Really, thank you for saying that. But I¡¯ve been living like this all this time, and all of a sudden, I can¡¯t change the way I have been living.¡±


    Everything in the world is a transaction.


    Yoon-woo knew, there was no favor that does not involve debt.


    Even so, Yoon-woo did not believe Hye-rim who said that.


    Even if Yoon-woo accepts other people¡¯s favors as Hye-rim said, he will doubt Hye-rim¡¯s favor until the very end.


    Hye-rim¡¯s kindness seemed too sweet.


    A beautiful college classmate who suddenly appeared wanted to do him a favor without asking him for anything in return.


    This was like an oasis suddenly appearing in the middle of an endlessly wide and barren desert.


    That is to say, it is a hallucination.


    ¡°Then what do I do? I want to eat together with Yoon-woo, and I want to play together on the weekend. If Yoon-woo has no money, you eat salad alone at home. What should I do?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m grateful for your thoughts, but instead of doing something expensive like this, call me every now and then whenever you think of things like climbing a mountain or going to the gym. It¡¯s not that I hate you, so if it¡¯s like that, I can come with you.¡±


    I don¡¯t know on what kind of a whim Hye-rim is trying to get along with me, but I didn¡¯t have the mental or financial space to hang out with Hye-rim like that.


    You can do that with other cheerful and rich friends who fit your class.


    It¡¯s going to be difficult to keep up with the time in the gym anyway, and wouldn¡¯t it be bothersome to go hiking?


    Whether it¡¯s bowling or climbing, there are many other interesting things in the world as long as you have money.


    If Hye-rim goes back to her bright and colorful world after pretending a few times to fit in with a stubborn beggar like me, I will be able to fall into a heavy and comfortable depression while repeating, ¡®Of course, that¡¯s it.¡¯


    ¡°No! I don¡¯t like it at all¡­ ¡­ . Wait? Wait a minute.¡±


    ¡°Uh?¡±


    ¡°So Yoon-woo, you¡¯re okay with anything as long as it doesn¡¯t cost money, right?¡±


    ¡°Anything? Maybe,yes?¡±


    ¡°Then, can we just go to your apartment and eat together?¡±


    What the hell is Hye-rim talking about now?


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ ? No, my apartment is very small. It¡¯s a one-room only in the name, it¡¯s just a goshiwon. There really is no room for two people.¡±


    [ Goshiwon: A small room with everything that you need to live ]


    ¡°Then it will be my apartment.¡±


    ¡°Huh?!¡±


    ¡°My apartment is a new building, so it¡¯s spacious and Yoon-woo, your room is in the dorm in the economics department building, right? I live in front of that building. Then we can meet and eat together even if we don¡¯t have class together!¡±


    ¡°Oh, Hye-rim? Wait a minute.¡±


    ¡°Can we just have the Yoon-woo salad delivered to my house? Also, let¡¯s move the contents of your refrigerator altogether. By the way, shall I eat that salad with you? Save money, manage my diet, and eat together. Am I not a genius?¡±


    ¡°Hye-rim? Hye-rim Cho? Can you hear me?¡±


    ¡°What? Is there any reason to refuse? If the two of us order, maybe we can eat a little more variety at a cheaper price? If we also call Ji-eun unnie and eat¡­ ¡­ Ah, she says that she doesn¡¯t like to eat salad. But¡­ ¡­ We can order something, right? It would be easier to monitor her so she doesn¡¯t drink.¡±


    ¡°Hye-rim¡­ ¡­ Anyway, that¡¯s a bit¡­ ¡­?¡±


    ¡°What now? What is the reason this time?¡±


    ¡°I¡­ ¡­ I¡¯m embarrassed.¡±


    Keeping ingredients in Hye-rim¡¯s refrigerator and sharing means that Yoon-woo has to visit Hye-rim¡¯s house for every meal.


    Even if she said that Ji-eun would come to her, it wouldn¡¯t be every day.


    I can¡¯t believe I have to visit an apartment where a woman is alone.


    It was too difficult for Yoon-woo. Won¡¯t it be enough for me to be reported as a criminal?


    ¡°It¡¯s okay¡­ ¡­ Yoon-woo is joking,right? Now, let¡¯s finish what we can and take leftovers and keep it in the refrigerator.¡±


    ¡°No, Hye-rim really. Do I have to visit the apartment where you are alone for every meal?¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t you feel any bit of a sense of crisis?¡±


    At that moment, Hye-rim remembered the comment Ji-eun made about Yoon-woo.


    ¡°What is it, Yoon-woo, do you think I am a woman?¡±


    ¡°Of course. How can I not see you as a woman?¡±


    ¡°Uh?! Well¡­ ¡­ okay then Come on. Let¡¯s eat quickly.¡±


    Hye-rim¡¯s face heated up at Yoon-woo¡¯s reaction, which was different from what she had expected.


    She fanned her hands hard just in case her face turned red.


    ¡°Hye-rim? What if I was a bad guy? Huh? Just trusting others like that and bringing them into your apartment where you live alone, then¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. Don¡¯t worry, Yoon-woo. I am confident.¡±


    ¡°Huh¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡®Come to think of it, we lift the same weight in deadlift¡­ ¡­ . Maybe Hye-rim might have learned martial arts.¡¯


    Yoon-woo took Hye-rim¡¯s words as a sign that she was confident that Hye-rim would win even if she had a one-on-one fight with him.


    In fact, even if Yoon-woo was slightly stronger in strength, if Hye-rim learned martial arts like jiu-jitsu, it would be difficult for Yoon-woo to defeat Hye-rim, who had a technical advantage.


    Of course, Yoon-woo will not attack Hye-rim.


    ¡°What if you want to have lunch with another friend? Or maybe you just want to bring another friend to your room? If I¡¯m in that room, I¡¯ll get in the way.¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°I have no other friends. I have no friends except Ji-eun and you.¡±


    ¡®Does that make sense?¡¯, thought Yoon-woo.


    ¡°So Yoon-woo, are you doing this because you want to make plans with someone else?¡±


    ¡°Huh?! No. Aren¡¯t I too poor to make plans with someone?¡±


    ¡°Then there is no problem. Hurry up, Yoon-woo.¡±


    Yoon-woo was nervous at the thought that there was obviously something wrong, but he couldn¡¯t express his anxiety in words right away.


    Yoon-woo going to her place and having to repeat the ascetic diet, she would soon get tired of it and hate it.


    However, she said that if I refused her for such an unclear reason, I would definitely offend her again, so I had no choice but to eat the leftover meat from the dish and think hard about other good excuses.


    It was a delicious meal that Yoon-woo could not normally experience, but the figure of himself standing behind Hye-rim who was paying was so shabby. So, his heart was more uncomfortable than ever.


    ================================

 Chapter 15

    ================================


    ¡°Wow¡­ ¡­ Yoon-woo, how can you live here with you being that tall?¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s move your refrigerator¡¯s contents right away,¡± said Hye-rim, who stormed into Yoon-woo¡¯s room.


    I didn¡¯t want to let her in my room because I knew she¡¯d say something like that¡­¡­


    ¡°It¡¯s really hard for two people to get in.Just stretching out your hand a little touches the ceiling. I didn¡¯t even have to straighten my elbows¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s small,right? Then why don¡¯t you wait outside? I¡¯ll get everything and meet you out.¡±


    ¡°No, I would like to help you move your things around.¡±


    When Hye-rim entered Yoon-woo¡¯s cramped room, it was difficult for her to move.


    I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re looking for in this room.


    Overcoats hanging haphazardly on chairs, books cluttered on the desk, garbage bags half full, and laundry baskets in the corner of the room.


    You could look at everything in the room in about 10 seconds.


    Still, Hye-rim looked around his room for a long while, making him wonder what she was looking for.


    Except for the bed in Yoon-woo¡¯s room, there was only one place where it was possible to sit. But, even that was difficult for one person to sit in, let alone lie down.


    Two people came in such a place and walked around in front of the refrigerator, and each time they moved, their bodies would frequently rub against each other.


    Every time Hye-rim¡¯s long hair ruffled in the narrow room, the smell of the shampoo she used spread in the room, and her subtle body odor mixed with the smell of meat stimulated him.


    Yoon-woo thought that it would be better if she would just go out and wait.


    After all, she is a woman who should not come into a man¡¯s room recklessly.


    This space was too narrow to be called a room and too wide to be called a coffin. It had neither sunlight nor proper ventilation.


    Yoon-woo was ashamed of the musty smell and wallpaper in the room which was discolored.


    He tried hard to block her gaze so that she would not notice the laundry basket in the corner, but he couldn¡¯t stop feeling ashamed.


    Because this room, where he lives, reflected on what kind of person he was.


    ¡°There is only salad in the refrigerator¡­ ¡­ But what is this in the freezer?¡±


    ¡°Pork thighs. I bought a lot at once and kept it, but I thaw it occasionally and eat it.¡±


    That¡¯s true, but after the semester started, I was so busy with activities that I got tired whenever I got home so it was annoying to cook it which is why I just ate tuna.


    ¡°By the way, why are tuna cans in the box?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s cheaper to buy in a box. I thought it would be like snacks but unfortunately once its lid is opened it has to be eaten completely or be frozen, so I just keep the unopened ones in the box.¡±


    ¡°Oh my God¡­ ¡­ How can you live like this? ¡­I know, I can¡¯t¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Hye-rim muttered with a worried tone.


    ¡°I like tuna, so it¡¯s okay.¡±


    ¡°No! Still, this isn¡¯t it. You open a can at every meal and eat it, what kind of cat are you? I heard that if you eat canned tuna too often, mercury builds up in your body¡­ ¡­ . I will use this tuna somehow by making rice balls or whatever. Do not eat these for a while. You¡¯ll eat something else.¡±


    For him, who was about to die in three years, he didn¡¯t really care whether the mercury concentration in his body was high or low.


    ¡°Still, Hye-rim. I¡¯ve limited expenses. And it¡¯s not like you will be helping me financially, right?¡±


    ¡°Then don¡¯t buy those tuna cans anymore. Let¡¯s use that money to buy other types of food. You said you were comfortable exchanging money like this, right?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ That tuna is 1,200 won per piece? I¡¯ll have to eat it this month anyway. So, I¡¯ll do what you say from next month.¡±


    ¡°Then I will take those pork legs and tuna for this month. I will take care of the diet.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t need to do that¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo, even if I eat these food items, my calorie intake might be controlled, but eating a variety of foods is just as important. As I said before, if two people make a large amount and share it, they can eat a variety of meals at the same cost.¡±


    However, doing so will increase Yoon-woo¡¯s dependence on Hye-rim for life.


    And Hye-rim won¡¯t be able to eat whatever she wants.


    Such a life cannot last long.


    Obviously, Hye-rim will get tired of it and quit on the way, and Yoon-woo will only feel a sense of disappointment.


    ¡°Then, you won¡¯t be able to eat what you want because of me, right? I love to eat everything that isn¡¯t expensive. I don¡¯t care because I usually eat very little. Let¡¯s stop now. The way we eat and live is so different.¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo, will you please stop talking like that?¡±


    ¡°Uh? Huh¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    I don¡¯t know why Hye-rim¡¯s voice sounds so terrifying today.


    ¡°You know that I¡¯m really going to get mad if you decline one more time,right? You don¡¯t have to say anything now. How will you plan your meal, you just have to think about it. Do you understand?¡±


    ¡°Huh¡­ ¡­ . okay.¡±


    Having said that, Yoon-woo could no longer refuse.


    You¡¯re going to be really angry, even now, your voice is terrifying, but I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re trying to do here.


    The situation has become very bleak.


    It¡¯s strange to keep going to Hye-rim¡¯s house to eat, but it was clear that he had to leave the food expenses to Hye-rim, making a lot of trouble for her even if his financial debt didn¡¯t increase.


    I don¡¯t know how the hell am I supposed to pay for this.


    ¡°Oh, I almost forgot this. When is your lunch break on Tuesday and Thursday? Also, is Friday a public class?¡±


    ¡°Lunch time is the same every day. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, classes continue until 6:30 after lunch, and on Fridays, two-and-a-half hour lessons are held in the morning and afternoon.¡±


    ¡°Then all mealtimes are with me. Thank God¡­ ¡­ . Huh? But wait. Isn¡¯t something strange?¡±


    ¡°Huh? what?¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo, are you taking 19 credits?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, because I¡¯ve been taking two courses worth 2 credits of the first-year compulsory liberal arts.¡±


    ¡°Then, isn¡¯t this the same as me as you take two courses on Mondays and Wednesdays with me, 6 credits for 2 courses,and 6 credits for 2 courses on Fridays, and 7 credits from lunch to dinner on Tuesdays and Thursdays?¡±


    ¡°Right.¡±


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you tell me earlier that you have the first period tomorrow? According to that timetable, there is no class tomorrow morning?¡±


    ¡°Ugh¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    I didn¡¯t know that she was sharp enough to calculate the timetable and grades in her head with the information I accidentally spilled.


    ¡°Ugh, did you just lie to me again?¡±


    ¡°No, that¡­ ¡­It¡¯s because of that expensive wine¡­ ¡­ I¡¯m sorry, Hye-rim.¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo is really¡­..until the end¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯m going to forget it this time, but from now on don¡¯t lie to me, Understand?¡±


    ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll promise.¡±


    ¡°Pinky promise.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Hun? It¡¯s embarrassing¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Finger. Give it to me. Quickly.¡±


    ¡°Huh¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    In the end, Yoon-woo, who even reached his pinky finger, was so embarrassed that his neck was red.


    I never did anything like this when I was a kid¡­ ¡­ Yoon-woo, who didn¡¯t want to show himself like that to her, quickly took the salad and tuna cans from the refrigerator and hurried out of the bedroom.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, then, will you call me at lunch tomorrow?¡±


    It was in front of Hye-rim¡¯s house.


    The luggage brought from Yoon-woo¡¯s house was piled up in front of Hye-rim¡¯s door.


    Libertas Studio, where she lived, was built last year and had a clean and sophisticated feel.


    It is a place where a college student like her would live.


    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t it be better if I put everything in the refrigerator and go?¡±


    ¡°No. For now just go back¡­ ¡­ I can¡¯t show you the room.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­ . I see. The room must be near. I¡¯m so sorry that you have to move by yourself, but what should I do?¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s okay, so come to lunch tomorrow, Yoon-woo.¡±


    Perhaps the reason why she didn¡¯t open the door was because her room was in a similar situation to Ji-eun¡¯s room on the day he went to see a movie.


    Even if you want to move your luggage, in this case it will be more problematic to keep wandering around here.


    ¡°Huh¡­ ¡­ . See you tomorrow.¡±


    His heart fluttered several times at Hye-rim¡¯s angry face all day today, but at the end of the day, he came back to her smiling face so he was able to put his heart at ease.


    Besides, she said that in the future, she would not do him a favor that would involve a financial burden.


    Still, he cannot forget what he has already received.


    Yoon-woo returned to his room, thinking that he would have to think about how to pay off the debt for the 38,000 won steak that he ate at Tour De Gusto, the coffee and the macarons when the money comes in next month.


    [Now, really, you won¡¯t deny that that girl has feelings for you, right?]


    ¡°Well¡­ ¡­ Isn¡¯t that just the feeling of helping a friend in need?¡±


    [Wow¡­ ¡­ crazy guy¡­ ¡­ ]


    ¡°Bunny, did you drink today?¡±


    [I didn¡¯t drink because of you but I¡¯m craving for alcohol.]


    ¡°That noona who is close to Hye-rim drinks a lot of alcohol like you, so she takes care of her every day. I would do the same to you.¡±


    [Why don¡¯t you expect something? Don¡¯t you feel anything for her? Maybe that girl is too bad?]


    ¡°No? She¡¯s a very pretty girl.¡±


    [Uh, is she that pretty? And still, you don¡¯t want to do anything with her?]


    ¡°Why should I go on a track that has no future. I¡¯m going to die after three years with you anyway.¡±


    [What if she really likes you? If you get along well with her, you can live happily with her without dying, right?]


    ¡°Uh? Why¡­ ¡­ . are you saying that?¡±


    [Huh? What?]


    ¡°Don¡¯t you want to die with me?¡±


    [I do.]


    ¡°Then why are you talking about having a good life with that girl? Perhaps¡­ ¡­ . Now you don¡¯t want to die with me?¡±


    [Huh?! NO! There¡¯s no way I don¡¯t want to die with you, okay?]


    ¡°Then why do you keep talking about these other girls? She¡¯s got nothing to do with us, right? But, you keep saying that that girl has a heart for me, and you keep saying things like that.. ¡­ .¡±


    [Uh¡­ ¡­ Well¡­ ¡­ That¡¯s not it¡­ ¡­ .I really want you to resolve that you want to die with me of your own will.]


    ¡°Huh? What does that mean? Right now, am I not resolved enough to die with you of my own free will?¡±


    [No. Like now, if you deny relationships possibilities other than dying with me and ignore all relationships with other people, can we really say that you chose me of your own will? Maybe it¡¯s just because you don¡¯t know other possibilities? There are other possibilities that I can think of, but if I leave you who don¡¯t know any of them, it means I¡¯ve kept you from seeing other people, right? I really want you to choose me by your own will, because you really have to die to love me.]


    ¡°No, there¡¯s no other possibility. There is not even one. I¡¯ll pick you no matter what.¡±


    [To paraphrase it, Tofu seems to be trapped in a forest where only apples are seen. You don¡¯t know any other fruits besides apples. That¡¯s why you think apples are the best without knowing there are other fruits. I want you to tell me that apples are the best, after coming across many other fruits in the forest.]


    ¡°So, you are an apple?¡±


    [Right. So don¡¯t just look at me, and get along with the people who are approaching you. And then if you think I¡¯m the best choice for you, tell me.That¡¯s what I want.]


    ¡°I think your analogy is wrong. I don¡¯t think I¡¯m in a position to choose anyone, am I? Rather, I am worried that I will not be chosen by you.¡±


    [Why are you worried about that again? I only have you.]


    ¡°Actually¡­ I kept thinking. You¡¯re the only one I have, and according to your analogy, I¡¯ve been living alone in the apple tree forest. What if Bunny hates me? I live alone in an apple tree forest, and if an apple turns a blind eye to me¡­¡­.¡±


    [I won¡¯t do that.]


    ¡°Why can¡¯t you do that? You haven¡¯t even met me. What if you¡¯re disappointed when you meet me?¡±


    [ I can say the same to you too, can¡¯t I? You¡¯ve also not met me. ]


    ¡°I know that you are a considerate and sweet person. No matter what I look like when you meet me, your attitude will never change.¡±


    [Thank you for looking at me like that. I¡¯d have to agree with you. The way I treat you won¡¯t change.]


    ¡°But if you meet me in person and say no because you don¡¯t like my appearance or behavior¡­¡­.¡±


    [You are doing this again. I won¡¯t do that. Never. I believe you, but why can¡¯t you believe me?]


    ¡°¡­I¡¯ve been very relieved to have you. I feel very different after meeting you. I can fall asleep talking to you at night, thinking I¡¯m not alone even when I die. Before that, I thought someone would find me if I died in a small room alone. Even after death, the maggots would decay my body so badly that the people would not be able to get close to the body because it is nauseating. But wouldn¡¯t it be different if I could be with you? Wouldn¡¯t it be okay if there were two rotten bodies together? I was able to live a little comfortably with that thought. But¡­ I¡¯m so nervous these days.¡±


    [What¡¯s there to be nervous about?]


    ¡°After three years, I meet you in a street with briquettes, and you look at me and say, ¡®I¡¯ve been wasting my time contacting this kind of guy.¡¯ What if you feel disappointed and leave? With how much I¡¯ve relied on you, I¡¯ll be much more miserable than when I decided to die alone. Then can I light the briquettes alone? Without you, I will hate to do things that I¡¯ve done with you.Maybe you¡¯ll take a different approach. I sometimes dream like that these days. Feeling miserable, I went deep into the mountains and looked for the right tree.¡­.¡±


    [Stop! Stop it, you idiot. If that¡¯s what you think, why don¡¯t we just meet now? Why don¡¯t we meet and make sure I¡¯m not disappointed in you?]


    ¡°Huh? Now? It¡¯s 10 p.m.¡±


    [I¡¯m not saying to meet right now.How about this Sunday morning?]


    ¡°Uh¡­¡­ that is fine. But I¡¯m still scared.¡±


    [I¡¯m going to meet you and fix your mind! Then I¡¯ll see you at 9 a.m. on Sunday at Bordeaux Baguette in front of Anam Station.]


    TL/n: [ Bordeaux: Baguette brand / Baguette: a long, narrow French loaf. ]


    ¡°Huh? How did you know that I live near Anam Station? I haven¡¯t said anything¡±.


    [Tofu goes to an archaeological college, right?]


    ¡°Yes¡­¡­ I didn¡¯t say that either.¡­.¡±


    [I heard you said the rerun of Inside Out on Sunday.]


    ¡°I did. Why?¡±


    [I searched and found that there was only one rerun theater near Shun University. There are two women¡¯s universities nearby, but you wouldn¡¯t go there, would you?]


    ¡°Oh¡­¡­ I see.¡±


    [Instead, you said it doesn¡¯t matter what I look like, so I¡¯m going to cover my face. I will wear a mask and sunglasses. Anyway, I just have to let you know that I¡¯m not disappointed to see you, right?]


    ¡°Yes¡­. Do it. By the way,aren¡¯t you coming too far? We have three years left and we don¡¯t have to meet so soon¡­¡­.¡±


    [It¡¯s okay. I actually live near there.]


    ¡°Oh, really? What a coincidence.¡±


    [Right? Isn¡¯t it amazing? Then go to bed now.]


    ¡°Yeah, I got it. Bunny, good night.¡±


    Yoon-woo closed his eyes quietly and thought about his day without taking his usual medicine.


    As expected, Bunny is a good person.


    Come to think of it, Bunny accepted Yoon-woo¡¯s voice as nothing.


    Really, wouldn¡¯t she be disappointed with Yoon-woo even if she met him in person?


    I still didn¡¯t feel love for Bunny, but even if I involuntary has feelings for her, I don¡¯t need kiss or sex like other men anyway.


    What Bunny said before is right.


    If there is someone standing next to you who is ready to die as soon as you die, someone next to you when you are on a deathbed and looking back on a bitter and lonely life¡­ That is love.


    Death is love.


    The love of a living person has an expiration date.


    If Romeo and Juliet were married without dying, they might have become a couple who would have thought about seperating one day.


    Bunny repeatedly told him to get along with Hye-rim, but if she treats him the same way even after meeting Yoon-woo in person, other possibilities are good.


    Let¡¯s say Hye-rim really has a crush on Yoon-woo, as Bunny said.


    What does that mean? For Yoon-woo, love is a desperate thing.


    If he cannot dampen his dry throat, he would die drinking salty seawater.


    On the other hand, Hye-rim is a person who can choose anything.


    Even if she chooses Yoon-woo out of all the love given to her on a whim, she will slowly get bored and deny Yoon-woo¡¯s habits and personality one by one.


    Then, Yoon-woo will be in pain for a long time, like a person who is dying from dehydration after drinking seawater, and then begs for love that does not have much left.¡­.


    Yoon-woo didn¡¯t want to be like that.


    If you¡¯re going to die anyway, it¡¯s better to jump into the sea neatly than to die after drinking sea water.


    If you keep enduring your thirst in your mind, you can die faster and more comfortably.


    Yoon-woo, who was heartbroken when he thought deeply, eventually swallowed the sleeping pills and soon fell asleep.


    In the dream, Yoon-woo hung himself on a branch of an apple tree and he was happy.

 Chapter 16

    ¡®Are you looking at me as a woman?¡¯


    ¡®Oh, that¡¯s not it. I¡¯m sorry.¡¯


    ¡®What? You don¡¯t see me as a girl?


    ¡®Stop teasing Yoon-woo and let¡¯s go.¡¯


    Who¡¯s making fun of him? Why isn¡¯t Yoon-woo answering? Why are you looking apologetic? I asked you if you looked at me as a woman, don¡¯t you see me as a woman?


    There is no word in this world as empty as the word ¡®cute¡¯.


    You can say that word to dogs, cats, goldfish, or even snails and worms.


    Ji-eun has felt the emptiness of that word for countless of times over the past 20 years.


    Beautiful, mature and sexy. Ji-eun wanted to live hearing such words.


    However, living with envy for what you don¡¯t have is just heartbreaking.


    It is important to know when to give up. The sooner you give up, the better.


    Even if someone teased her about her small, feeble physique, she would only become sensitive. And, if she got angry and cried, they would only say things like ¡®It¡¯s because you¡¯re cute. Why would you¡­¡­.¡¯, ¡®I didn¡¯t mean anything bad.¡­.¡¯.


    Ji-eun quickly learned how to get along with people. She learned to stand on the same side as those who teased her.


    She thought of herself as a dog or a cat, and made fun of her physical complex.


    Then people seemed to think that Ji-eun was a very pleasant person.


    But I didn¡¯t really want to hear it. That word. Cute. Even if they meant it sincerely.


    If it is really a word that accompanies sincere kindness, these compliments have always been light and meaningless to me.


    Even though I used to be excited about being called ¡®cute¡¯, I ended up being disappointed.


    Because there was no man who truly loved her and asked her out.


    There were men who openly said that Ji-eun¡¯s height was only 148 centimeters when measured after becoming an adult, and that a little girl like her could not be seen as a woman to them.


    People¡¯s compliments filled with words like cute for Ji-eun had always seemed akin to indifference to her.


    With Ji-eun¡¯s appearance, it seemed too difficult to make the opposite sex have feelings for her.


    If she wants to be in a relationship, maybe¡­¡­. Shouldn¡¯t she try a different approach?


    All sorts of favors and attention were poured at some women.


    A constant stream of questions, jokes, support from a black knight whom they didn¡¯t even ask to drink, hangover drinks, ice cream, etc. She didn¡¯t want to be treated like that either.


    Nevertheless, it wasn¡¯t a good feeling when she realized that when a girl like that was right next to her, she would soon become invisible.


    Ever since Hye-rim joined the club, I have felt that way whenever she participated in drinking.


    In particular, I felt betrayed when I saw a constant stream of male seniors and juniors talk about movies with Hye-rim endlessly when she joined the club.


    The men thought that they were people who liked movies that matched their tastes, but they didn¡¯t care about the movie and were busy glancing at her breasts.


    Pixar¡¯s touching stories are worse than a woman¡¯s breasts?


    I once complained to Hye-rim after I got close to her.


    Then Hye-rim said,


    ¡°All men are like that.¡±


    Wrong. All men don¡¯t usually do that to anyone.


    It¡¯s only towards Hye-rim or rather it¡¯s not only her but towards girls like her.


    ¡°¡­You did that to Yoon-woo? What kind of bulldozer are you?¡±


    It was Thursday morning, the day after Hye-rim and Ji-eun talked over Bong Cho-su dumplings.


    She heard over the phone what Hye-rim did to Yoon-woo.


    I was a little nervous about Hye-rim¡¯s serious face, but I didn¡¯t know she would go that far.


    [But it¡¯s good that we can see each other at every meal, right? So come to my house for lunch later!]


    ¡°Huh? Can I come?¡±


    [What are you talking about? We¡¯re having lunch together today, right?]


    It was meaningless for Ji-eun to lament the ecology of the club¡¯s men after Hye-rim came.


    It was not Hye-rim¡¯s fault that she looked pretty and had a great body.


    Body shape didn¡¯t exist when she was young. It is only the result of her efforts.


    So it is unfair to envy Hye-rim, who is humble and kind.


    And I didn¡¯t really want to be in her situation.


    Hye-rim suffered in her own way.


    It was just unpleasant to see the sudden change in the behavior of the men around her when Hye-rim was present.


    I don¡¯t even feel like I want anything now.


    So I decided to just drink and live comfortably.


    I didn¡¯t mean to, but as my drinking capacity increased, I became more conscious of myself.


    ¡°Ji-eun, are you really okay? Can you eat like that? Unnie! You¡¯re going to go grab a drink again today, right?¡±


    ¡°You two will be creating a romantic atmosphere in the room, and it would be odd if I join you two for a meal.¡±


    [You want me to leave unnie who always eats with me? I can¡¯t do that. And it¡¯s¡­¡­how can I even create that kind of situation, also I don¡¯t think Yoon-woo will do anything like that. He¡¯s still looking for a chance to run away.]


    ¡°Really? He¡¯s pretty cool, too. Maybe he¡¯s an eunuch?¡±


    [Hmm¡­ Is that so¡­¡­? Maybe. What should I do? How can I beat around the bush to make him see a urologist?]


    ¡°Hye-rim? I¡¯m kidding.¡­.¡±


    When Hye-rim said she had met an elementary school classmate who resembles Haku by fate in college, I thought Hye-rim had a strange preferance because she had never been in a relationship.


    Well, I guess that¡¯s what she¡¯s saying because he looks pretty good.


    I was curious because I thought any man would be happy as long as Hye-rim took interest in him.


    But, Yoon-woo, whom I met in real life, was so attractive that he was no different from Hye-rim¡¯s description.


    A pretty face, slim figure, hard muscles that are visible here and there, polite speech, and¡­¡­. A pretty soft voice.


    It seemed difficult to hide the nursery rhymes when I heard the voice.


    So I ordered alcohol in a hurry.


    I couldn¡¯t deny that I was attracted to Yoon-woo, but it is foolish and shameful to sit next to Hye-rim and form such a crush.


    In addition, Hye-rim has been missing Yoon-woo for ten years.


    So I just had to drink.


    Like a person who is not interested in anything other than alcohol and hobbies.


    But as I drank more and more, I realized that Yoon-woo¡¯s attitude was strange.


    If it were other men, their eyes would naturally gravitate towards Hye-rim, especially her body parts, as if an apple were falling on the floor, but Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes basically avoided people.


    If left alone, his head would slowly fall down, and when Hye-rim or I talked to him, his head would jerk up in a suprise.


    He had no strength in his expression and didn¡¯t think of raising the corners of his mouth no matter what we said.


    He seemed like a depressed puppy being scolded by Hye-rim and me.


    So I felt sorry for him and felt like I had to feed him and take care of him.


    It is understandable that Hye-rim pushed like a bulldozer.


    [But what if it¡¯s really like that? If he can¡¯t give birth to children or something¡­¡­.]


    ¡°No, don¡¯t worry about that already¡­¡­if you¡¯re so worried, you should check it out at lunch to see if it works well. I¡¯ll eat separately.¡±


    I know Hye-rim wouldn¡¯t do that, but I shouldn¡¯t have said that.


    No matter how I feel inside, my thoughts naturally pop out like playful tones or jokes from my mouth.


    Therefore, the darkness in my mind was hard for others to recognize.


    [Unnie!!]


    ¡°It¡¯s not impossible, is it? If we¡¯re in a small room together¡­¡­.¡±


    [Even in his dorm room, he didn¡¯t even look at me even though I talked for a long time.]


    ¡°Can a man really do that to you? What if there¡¯s a real problem?¡±


    [Ha¡­That¡¯s what I¡¯m saying.¡­. Anyway, come later at lunch. I¡¯ve prepared the meal for you, too.]


    ¡°Oh, what¡¯s on the menu?¡±


    [Fried chicken breast curry and salad.]


    ¡°¡­As expected, you guys just eat by yourself.¡±


    [Unnie, are you going to be like this? I prepared something for you.]


    ¡°Why are you doing this to me? I told you I didn¡¯t want to eat salad!¡±


    [You have to eat all the vegetables to grow taller!]


    ¡°Heights are all hereditary! How much green juice and milk did I drink when I was in high school? I gave up now. I¡¯ve given up, so I¡¯m going to eat what I want!¡±


    [Unnie, you will get constipation if you don¡¯t eat vegetables. Even your baby soft skin would get rough quickly when you don¡¯t have proper diet.]


    ¡°I don¡¯t care. It¡¯s time to stop baby skin and get adult skin. Constipation? Constipation gets better when you drink.¡±


    [What if Yoon-woo thinks you didn¡¯t come because of him?]


    ¡°Tell him I¡¯m not coming not because of him, but because of salad.¡±


    [Ha¡­Then¡­ What do you want to eat for lunch?]


    ¡°It¡¯s been a while since I¡¯ve had a snack. I like gimbap. But I¡¯m too lazy to go. Shall we get delivery?¡±


    [Then, will you come if I make you tuna mayo rice balls?]


    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s great. That¡¯s great.¡±


    [I¡¯ll make it for you.]


    ¡°Do you have time to make it?¡±


    [I have rice ready, so I can make it. So, come quickly.]


    ¡°Then I¡¯ll eat and sleep in your bed. Hehe.¡±


    When I was young, my mom asked me to cook with her on weekends.


    There were easy things for children to make while playing, such as gimbap and rice balls.


    But I was proud to think that I made it myself, and it was good to put only the ingredients I liked.


    Among them, Ji-eun¡¯s favorite ingredient was tuna mayo.


    Even after becoming an adult, people around me know that I like tuna mayo because I only bought triangle gimbap with tuna mayo.


    I thought if I got sick of tuna mayo while eating numerous times, I wouldn¡¯t think of my dead mother hanging herself from a tree, but I guess I still have to eat it for more years.


    ¡°¡­¡­That¡¯s why I made rice balls, so you should eat it too, Yoon-woo.¡±


    ¡°Yes¡­¡­ you¡¯ve had a hard time. Thank you. I¡¯ll enjoy it.¡±


    ¡°Hye-rim, this rice ball is so good.¡±


    After lunch, Yoon-woo stayed at Hye-rim¡¯s house amidst a lot of tension, but seeing Ji-eun rolling around on the bed made him feel relieved.


    Hye-rim¡¯s house was quite spacious even though it was a one-room apartment.


    The folding desk was spread out on the floor, and Hye-rim was baking rice balls.


    ¡°You really don¡¯t eat salad?¡±


    Hye-rim ordered a salad with Yoon-woo last night.


    But she also said she would order enough and make sure to feed Ji-eun.


    ¡°I¡¯ll also order food for Ji-eun.¡±


    She was determined to improve Ji-eun¡¯s eating habits.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to.¡±


    ¡°Unnie¡­ Are you going to eat only meat and rice balls.You are so mean.¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    It was like a mother soothing a picky child.


    Even though Ji-eun is a year older than Yoon-woo and Hye-rim, her way of speaking and behavior seemed very young.


    Ji-eun seems the most mature when she drinks.


    ¡°Unnie, I worked really hard making rice balls, can you eat me some salad?¡±


    ¡°If you feed me, I¡¯ll eat it. Ah~¡±


    ¡°Ha¡­ Really, do you think you can¡¯t do it if you tell me to? Now..open¡­what? Why did you shut your mouth?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll only eat it if Yoon-woo feeds me, not you.¡±


    ¡°Unnie, you¡¯re so¡­¡­Yoon-woo? She wants you to feed her. Do it quickly.¡±


    ¡°Huh?!¡±


    Yoon-woo, who was quietly eating chicken breast next to them, was dragged quickly into their conversation.


    Hye-rim had ordered chicken breast, but Yoon-woo was able to purchase it at a very low price by applying all kinds of discounts for the first order event and some membership event he didn¡¯t even know about.


    I was admiring it because it wasn¡¯t dry and delicious when frying with curry powder.


    ¡°Yoon-woo? Hurry up and feed her.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­¡­ Are you serious?!¡°


    ¡°Hye-rim¡­ I¡¯m kidding.¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo, why aren¡¯t you doing it?¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo? You know I was joking, right? You¡¯re not going to do it, are you?¡±


    I will feed her? This l will obviously offend Ji-eun.


    I was embarrassed to do such a thing, but Hye-rim is scarier than Ji-eun.


    Have you ever been able to oppose Hye-rim¡¯s words? Have you ever objected to her idea? I can¡¯t help it.


    If you can¡¯t rebel, then the answer is to obey quickly and not provoke her for nothing.


    Yoon-woo, who thought so, picked up the salad with Ji-eun¡¯s chopsticks and took it to her mouth.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry noona¡­¡­she, uh¡­¡­. Ah¡­¡­ would you like to try?¡±


    ¡°Hey, crazy, you crazy man.¡±


    ¡°Unnie? You said you will eat if Yoon-woo feeds you. Aren¡¯t you going to eat it?¡±


    ¡°Oh, oh¡­ No, not this one. I¡¯ll just eat it with my own hands¡­¡­.¡±


    As she tried to open her mouth slightly, Ji-eun finally gave up and started eating salad with her hands.


    ¡°Uh¡­¡­ it¡¯s not delicious.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s good. It¡¯ll taste good as you eat it slowly. I¡¯ve ordered salad for you, so let¡¯s eat lots whenever you come.¡±


    ¡°Every time I come? You want me to eat this? ¡­¡­Can I not come here now?¡±


    ¡°Then Yoon-woo will be upset. Right, Yoon-woo?¡±


    ¡°Huh? Yeah¡­ That¡¯s right.¡±


    ¡°Hey, Lee Yoon-woo, you¡¯re such a jerk! Did Hye-rim find out some of your weaknesses? Why are you listening to her?¡±


    ¡°But Hye-rim is right. You have to eat vegetables.¡±


    It wasn¡¯t that he didn¡¯t feel uncomfortable because he left the food expenses to Hye-rim, but he thought Hye-rim was not wrong on this.


    Yoon-woo ate less than his body size, so his body immediately showed abnormalities when he was picky.


    My head would feel weird, body would swell, skin cells would wither and outer skin would become rough. No one would care if such a thing would happen to me, but it would be a waste if Ji-eun¡¯s soft and pretty face, which is popular with many people, turned rough.


    ¡°Hye-rim, don¡¯t just read my face. Look at me! We¡¯re in the same department, aren¡¯t we? If you¡¯re majoring in economics,at least one of the three subjects overlaps with me, right?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m taking three majors, and I don¡¯t think they overlap.¡±


    ¡°What majors are you taking?¡±


    ¡°Korean economics, mathematics and classical economics.¡±


    ¡°Look! Classical economics overlaps.¡±


    ¡°Oh, really? I¡¯ve never seen you before.¡±


    ¡°Really? That¡¯s weird. I¡¯ve been out once. Ah, I think it¡¯s because it¡¯s classical economics. I never attend it..¡±


    ¡°Noona¡­¡­ there are credits¡­what are you going to do¡­¡­?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t go to classes without attendance scores, so it¡¯s okay. You know, on the test paper, there¡¯s a lot of mercantilism, Adam Smith, Ricardo, and whatever, you¡¯ll get a headache if you memorize it one by one. But, I memorized it really hard in another class last semester.¡±


    [T/n: Mercantilism: an economic practice by which governments used their economies to augment state power at the expense of other countries ]


    ¡°Noona, are you talking about classical economics class? But, that has nothing to do with classical economics.¡±


    ¡°Huh? Then what class is that?¡±


    ¡°The government¡¯s economic policy, Aristotle¡¯s thoughts on economics, things like that.¡±


    ¡°What, then what is Guan Zhaung? A pessimistic?¡±


    ¡°You know, Guan Zhaung from that old saying, how close friends will always stick together. That guy.¡±


    ¡°Uh? I thought Bao Shuya was a good guy and Guan Zhaung was trash, isn¡¯t that the case?¡±


    [T/n: Ji-eun is talking to herself in these three sentences ]


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°You didn¡¯t look at the syllabus? It¡¯s all written down, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t even look at the rest of the pages because my attendance score was zero based on the evaluation criteria¡­¡­.I¡¯ll see it now and cover it from textbook.¡±


    ¡°Noona, I don¡¯t think you have that class or textbook.¡­.¡±


    ¡°Lee Yoon-woo, junior¡­¡­please show me your notes¡­¡­I¡¯ll buy you a drink¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s okay. I¡¯ve had some notes from last time.¡­but you still have to take a class to understand it, will it be okay?¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t that class on Friday from 9 to 12? How can I listen to it after drinking on Thursday?¡±


    ¡°Unnie? You don¡¯t have to drink on Thursday, do you?¡±


    ¡°No, how fun is Thursdays? Yoon-woo, I¡¯ll buy you a drink every week, so can you hand over your notes every week? I don¡¯t know how you will do it, but if you memorize it and write it down, it¡¯s okay and I won¡¯t get chewed up.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to. I¡¯ll just send it to you as soon as I organize my notes.¡±


    ¡°Yay!¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo, how can you accept all of that? I¡¯m already trying to stop Unnie from drinking¡­ Just don¡¯t give the notes to her if she doesn¡¯t come to class.¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo? You¡¯re not going to, are you?¡± You¡¯re gonna help me, right? I might be able to help you with other subjects, right? I¡¯m a senior afterall.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­¡­ um¡­¡­ Uh¡­¡­.¡±


    Hye-rim was trying to cut down on Ji-eun¡¯s drinking, but wouldn¡¯t Yoon-woo¡¯s help encourage her?


    I thought so, but I was in a dilemma because I thought it was a great opportunity to pay back the debt for the movie and drinks she bought for me.


    ¡°Hey, you¡¯re being insensitive to Hye-rim. Okay, sometimes I¡¯ll go in and sleep. If a little girl like me sits down behind Yoon-woo¡¯s back, the professor won¡¯t be able to see me, right?¡±


    ¡°No, I¡¯m not asking you to attend class like that, and also don¡¯t drink, Unnie.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°If I don¡¯t get caught, it¡¯s the same as you not knowing. How do you know where and what I¡¯m doing on Thursday night? Hehe.¡±


    ¡°Unnie, I¡¯m going to sleep at your house on Thursday. I¡¯ll come today.¡±


    ¡°Huh?! No, I have an appointment today¡­¡­ Really.¡±


    Looking at them like that, Yoon-woo thought they were like sisters.


    Although the older Ji-eun looked like a younger sister.


    In fact, the two of them had similar voices but the way they talk is completely different.


    For a friend, I thought Hye-rim¡¯s nosiness was too much, but Ji-eun didn¡¯t seem to dislike it at all.


    All she did was pout her lips and grumble like a sulky child.


    With that in mind, Yoon-woo finished washing the dishes.


    ¡°Well, I have a fifth class, so I¡¯ll be on my way now. Thanks to you, I enjoyed my lunch.¡±


    ¡°Okay, see you in the evening, Yoon-woo. What are you going to do, Unnie?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sleepy. I¡¯m just gonna take a nap here.¡±


    ¡°Unnie? The 5th period is Korean economic history.¡­.¡±


    ¡°What about it?¡±


    ¡°I heard you were listening earlier.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay because there¡¯s a textbook. Bye~ Yoon-woo.¡±


    And so, Ji-eun, who lay on Hye-rim¡¯s bed, covered her neck with a blanket and began to pose well.


    But¡­ Hye-rim, who came to her side, roughly snatched the blanket and took it away from Ji-eun.


    ¡°What? Hye-rim? It¡¯s cold. Give me the blanket.¡±


    ¡°Get out now. And, go to class.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m telling you, this feels really good. I¡¯m sleepy because I¡¯m full.¡­Give me a blanket¡­¡­No? You don¡¯t think I can sleep without a blanket?¡±


    With that said, Ji-eun covered her body with Hye-rim¡¯s clothes next to her like a blanket. Hye-rim then lifted Ji-eun from her bed and put her on the floor.


    Hye-rim could easily lift 100lbs in deadlift so it was not a problem for her to lift a light person like Ji-eun.


    ¡°Oh, Hye-rim, you¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°Hurry up and go.¡±


    In the end, Ji-eun, who could no longer withstand Hye-rim¡¯s pressure, had no choice but to follow Yoon-woo to the lecture room.


    ¡°This class has textbooks¡­¡­I don¡¯t even want to attend¡­¡­humph¡­¡­.¡±


    It took less than five minutes to get to the lecture room, but Ji-eun grumbled the whole way.


    ================================

 Chapter 17

    ¡°Yoon-woo, what the hell is this¡­? Why is the textbook so thick? You¡¯re doing this for a whole semester?¡±


    Yoon-woo and Ji-eun came into the classroom a little early and sat side by side.


    In fact, Yoon-woo was uncomfortable coming with Ji-eun alone without Hye-rim.


    It was due to Bunny¡¯s order, but the relationship formed because of Yoon-woo¡¯s reluctance to meet with Hye-rim and now it was awkward to meet her without Hye-rim.


    She was always arguing and bickering when Hye-rim was around her. But, I wondered if she would suddenly shut her mouth if she¡¯s alone with me.


    It¡¯s quite possible.


    Come to think of it, it is Ji-eun who suffered the biggest loss because of me


    I prevented her from visiting restaurants with Hye-rim, ate salad that she didn¡¯t want to eat, and had an unpleasant experience of Yoon-woo trying to put food in her mouth.


    ¡±Can I not come here anymore?¡¯¡¯


    ¡®Was that really what you said because you didn¡¯t want to eat salad?¡¯


    Maybe she just didn¡¯t like to be around Yoon-woo.


    Although she was forced to come because of Hye-rim, it may be an excuse to not want to eat with Yoon-woo.


    I don¡¯t know what Ji-eun was thinking, but fortunately, Ji-eun didn¡¯t become awkward and talked naturally even if it was just with me alone.


    On the contrary, I felt more comfortable with her than being with Hye-rim, because unlike Hye-rim, who constantly asks questions to me and continues to try to make me talk, Ji-eun was a type of person who talks well on her own like Bunny.


    So, it could not be awkward even if I only talk in moderation.


    Come to think of it, Ji-eun¡¯s excited and playful way of speaking seemed to resemble Bunny.


    I think the tone is a little similar.¡­.


    However, there was a clear difference between Bunny and Ji-eun¡¯s voice, considering that his earphones were a little bit old, too.


    Bunny¡¯s tone was lower than that of Ji-eun, and unlike Ji-eun, Bunny pronounced her words slowly.


    Ji-eun speaks so fast that Yoon-woo doesn¡¯t understand half of it, but he was still responding moderately.


    Another factor Yoon-woo found difficult to understand was the height difference between the two.


    When Yoon-woo and Ji-eun walked side by side, Ji-eun¡¯s head was only at the level of Yoon-woo¡¯s chest, so there was a considerable distance between Yoon-woo¡¯s ear and Ji-eun¡¯s mouth. In addition, everyone was moving to the lecture room, so Ji-eun¡¯s voice did not reach Yoon-woo¡¯s ear completely.


    I thought it would be different if I sat in a quiet lecture room and talked, but as the surroundings became quiet, Ji-eun¡¯s voice decreased as well.


    Perhaps because she was sleepy, she had a smaller voice than when she was in Hye-rim¡¯s room.


    In addition, it was harder to understand because she was lying down and muttering.


    In order to understand her words about the textbook properly, Yoon-woo also bowed his head, but the problem was that he had to answer in that state, too.


    ¡°Noona, this class¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°Huck!¡±


    What Yoon-woo was trying to say was, ¡°Didn¡¯t noona say you took this class once?¡±


    Because it was strange not to know the textbook.


    However, when Yoon-woo spoke out, Ji-eun was surprised and distanced herself from Yoon-woo.


    ¡°Yoo, Yoonwoo, why are you whispering in my ear all of a sudden? You scared me!¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­¡­ I¡¯m sorry. I can¡¯t hear you well.¡­.¡±


    There was a lack of caution. No matter how polite Ji-eun and Hye-rim are to him, the fact that his voice is unpleasant does not change.


    I can¡¯t believe you don¡¯t like it that much.¡­.


    When you hang out with people, only heartbreaking things happen.


    If you don¡¯t have a voice, you won¡¯t have to be this sad.


    Even if you meet someone who treats you well on the outside like Ji-eun, this is what happens in the end.


    In the end, you¡¯ll notice. That the other person is disgusted with you.


    I want to talk to Bunny. But, if Bunny also didn¡¯t like Yoon-woo¡¯s voice, wouldn¡¯t she have stopped contacting him and gone away?


    So Bunny is someone who can at least tolerate Yoon-woo¡¯s voice.


    Is there anyone else in the world like that?


    I should have been just that satisfied, but I had to show my face to Bunny because I whined for no reason.


    So when Bunny leaves, Yoon-woo¡¯s life will be really empty.


    You must endure the rest of the three years alone, keeping your lips shut and confronting the painful memories of the past that break into the darkness of the night.


    Can¡¯t I just take my word back now? Let¡¯s not meet on Sunday¡­¡­.


    It¡¯s okay for Bunny to leave Yoon-woo in disappointment after 3 years, it¡¯s okay if I end up dying alone, so please talk to me for 3 years.¡­.


    Please don¡¯t leave me alone at night.¡­.


    ¡°Oh, okay. I¡¯ll speak a little louder. What were you going to say?¡±


    ¡°¡­I was surprised to see that you didn¡¯t know the textbook. You said you took this class once.¡±


    What would life be like without Bunny?


    A life of having friendly, formal conversations with people who are reluctant to be friends with Yoon-woo, and while having such a conversation, realizing that a dislike for him is established in the other person, he gets hurt, and when he goes home, he repeatedly remembers that hatred and scars by himself again and again.


    Eventually, Hye-rim will get tired of Yoon-woo¡¯s eating habits, and Ji-eun, who is pretending to be close to him due to her loyalty with Hye-rim, will naturally become distant.


    If you¡¯re going to leave anyway, I wish you¡¯d let me stay alone. Did I ever ask you to stay with me?


    Sometimes it feels like everything in the world moving around him has a purpose of breaking his heart many times.


    ¡°I just listened to the lecture for only the first hour. The professor said that it was going to be from the textbook. So, I was sure I didn¡¯t have to listen for a long time and come out¡­¡­but now that I see it, the book is not normal. What the hell is this? They ask us to finish this huge book in one semester?¡±


    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s not it. Only half of the part. The modern part.¡±


    ¡°This book is 1,000 pages long. Half of them are 500 pages. Are you insane? It¡¯s a midterm exam period in three weeks¡­What should I do?¡±


    ¡°In class, the professor told us to read the parts that he was interested in. So, he just skips the parts that he doesn¡¯t have interests and talks about the parts that he¡¯s interested in for a long time. He said that the test is focused on that part.¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo, what should I do? Save your noona¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. I¡¯ll just sort out everything I marked and give it to you.¡±


    ¡°Oh, thank you¡­ How can I repay you for this? Right, Yoon-woo, you don¡¯t have my number yet, do you? Add my contact info to your phone. Now¡­¡­I sent you my number now, so call me whenever you want to drink. I¡¯ll buy you everything.¡±


    ¡°What kind of generosity is it? You¡¯ve done more for me.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not it, Yoon-woo. I don¡¯t think you¡¯ll contact me first anyway. Well, what do you want me to do?¡±


    It¡¯s not that I really have to contact her anyway.


    I want you to think that at least I¡¯m a helpful person.


    I hope you think I¡¯m worth using.


    Eventually, she¡¯ll leave me one day, but while she¡¯s with me, Let¡¯s make her hate me less¡­¡­.


    Thinking so, Yoon-woo added Ji-eun¡¯s contact number, and soon the professor came in.


    The professor of Korean economic history is famous for objectively analyzing Korean history from a neutral position away from national history, but since he had stomach cancer surgery last year, his voice was weak and slow and his class was also famous for being extremely sleepy.


    That¡¯s why it was classified as a lecture with high difficulty on the postgraduate website even though there was less to study and the scores were generous.


    ¡°Yoon-woo¡­ What¡¯s wrong with this class? What¡¯s wrong with the professor¡¯s voice? I¡¯m so sleepy¡­ I want to go to Hye-rim¡¯s room and lie down¡­¡­.¡±


    While Yoon-woo was upset when he spoke up close to Ji-eun, she almost whispered under his chin.


    ¡°Did you forget what happened earlier?¡±


    Ji-eun¡¯s breath touched Yoon-woo¡¯s neck and it was itchy.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, are you sleeping or not? But why are you ignoring me? Are you ignoring me because I¡¯m short? Come on, come on.¡±


    Ji-eun poked Yoon-woo on the chest with her finger.


    Maybe the class was boring, but Ji-eun tried hard to stab Yoon-woo¡¯s body. So, it was useless to avoid it even if he blocked it with his hand.


    He should properly attend the class to benefit her ¡­.


    ¡°Stop¡­ don¡¯t do it¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°Huck!¡±


    Eventually, Yoon-woo whispered to Ji-eun in a small voice, and Ji-eun shrank in surprise.


    I felt bad if you would act like that.That¡¯s why I didn¡¯t answer. Is that what a child feels like when he pokes a snail with a branch?


    He pokes a still slumber and runs away when it wiggles, shouting, ¡°Ugh! Gross!¡±


    After that, Ji-eun sat quite far away from Yoon-woo and took classes quietly.


    The child who had been stabbing the snail earlier was about to throb and groan.


    ¡°Where are you going now?¡±


    ¡°Oh, oh, what?¡±


    As he left the lecture room, Yoon-woo asked Ji-eun.


    It was because he wanted to say goodbye and get away from her.


    However, it must have been hard to hear because the surrounding area was noisy and there was quite a lot of distance between Yoon-woo¡¯s mouth and Ji-eun¡¯s ears.


    But if I come closer and talk, she¡¯ll feel bad like before, so Yoon-woo decided to say it again.


    ¡°Noona, where are you going now?¡±


    ¡°What, why? Just talk up close¡­ ¡­. I¡¯m going to the liberal arts center now. You?¡±


    I think she remembered it now. That my voice is a voice that can be only heard clearly at close range.


    ¡°I¡¯m also going to the Liberal Arts Center¡±


    ¡°Then we can go together. What class are you taking? Which floor?¡±


    ¡°Thinking and Expression¡­ ¡­ Room 304.¡±


    ¡°Oh, you¡¯re taking a freshman class, are you going to meet your classmates? Introduce me if you know anyone. I also bought a lot of food for my juniors at the beginning of the semester.¡±


    Because the number of freshmen in the College of Economics and Economics was so large, they were divided into several classes, so there was a tendency that only the classmates were friendly with each other.


    Of course, Yoon-woo wasn¡¯t close with anyone.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know anyone, so I can¡¯t do such a thing.¡±


    ¡°Huh? You don¡¯t know anyone? Can you do that on your registering courses? Don¡¯t you do a lot of group activities?¡±


    ¡°Fortunately, the professor told me to just write a lot, so I don¡¯t have to communicate with classmates too much. It¡¯s a bit embarrassing when I give a presentation, but everyone doesn¡¯t know me anyway.¡±


    Thought and expression were mandatory lectures for freshmen, the contents of the classes varied greatly depending on the professor.


    I couldn¡¯t say exactly what I was learning.


    Still, I was lucky this semester.


    Last semester, when there were a lot of group assignments, was more hellish than this semester.


    ¡°Still¡­ ¡­ Don¡¯t you think you will be popular in your class?¡±


    ¡°It can¡¯t be.¡±


    If I talk naturally with her like this, she will stay with me and keep complimenting me. She is quite grateful to me for handing over the class materials as she says empty words carelessly.


    If such a pointless compliment is an expression of gratitude, it is fortunate that at least he is recognized as a person worthy of use.


    ¡°It can¡¯t be¡­ ¡­ . That¡¯s weird? Yoon-woo is misunderstanding something¡­ ¡­ . Ahh!¡±


    ¡°Noona!!¡±


    The distance from the 2nd floor of the economics center to the Liberal Arts Center was a little long and most of it was covered by stairs.


    But, apparently, Ji-eun, who was wearing slippers today, was going down the stairs looking up at him, and one of the slippers came off suddenly.


    The slippers, which were bigger than Ji-eun¡¯s feet, were dragged on the floor, and I was constantly anxious while looking at them from time to time.


    She lost her balance for a moment and almost fell off the stairs, and I reached out and grabbed her body.


    After that, he balanced it by hugging her neck as she was short.


    The top of her head touched Yoon-woo¡¯s chest.


    Along with the fragrant smell of shampoo emanating from her hair, there was a faint smell of alcohol.


    It was true that Hye-rim said that Ji-eun¡¯s hair smelled like alcohol.


    ¡°Noona, are you hurt? Are you okay?¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­ Huh¡­ ¡­ thanks¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Thank God.¡±


    The stairs are high, so it would have been a big deal if you fell down here.


    I was surprised to hear her heart poundings in my ears.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go slowly and look ahead. I think you should wear sneakers.¡±


    ¡°Yes. Yeah¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    And until she entered the Liberal Arts center, Ji-eun didn¡¯t say anything and just looked at her feet.


    Was it so unpleasant that I hugged her?


    Anyway, I was trying to help¡­ ¡­ .


    Ji-eun didn¡¯t even try to turn her face toward him anymore.


    This was a frequent occurrence in Yoon-woo¡¯s life.


    Come to think of it, when I was in the 4th grade of elementary school, there was a girl who vomited while riding a bus in the seat next to me.


    Yoon-woo didn¡¯t have any image to get worse, so whether he had vomit on him or not, it didn¡¯t matter. So I cleaned it properly thinking it wouldn¡¯t be the same for her.¡­ .


    As soon as I wiped her clothes, the girl ran away. Who was that girl?


    Well, who cares? Except for Cho Hye-rim, there was no one in his class who did not hate Yoon-woo, and Cho Hye-rim only looked at Yoon-woo with her eyes of compassion and sympathy.


    Perhaps she didn¡¯t want the person who helped her wipe the vomit to be Yoon-woo Lee.


    It will be the same as it is now.


    I wished it was someone other than me who was walking with Ji-eun.


    It would have been nice if it wasn¡¯t Yoon-woo, but a nice and pleasant person who was walking next to Ji-eun and caught Ji-eun who fell.


    Why the hell is Yoon-woo here?


    Yoon-woo wanted to go home and hear Bunny¡¯s voice.


    He¡¯ll have to tell her not to meet on Sunday.


    He thought wrong at that time. But, Bunny believes in him anyway. So, now I have to say that I don¡¯t want to meet her.

 Chapter 18

    ¡°What floor was Yoon-woo¡¯s class on? Uh, ah, right, it was the third floor. I¡¯m on the 3rd floor too¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Ji-eun opened her mouth again after arriving in front of the elevator in the Liberal Arts center.


    Until then, Yoon-woo only thought of Bunny.


    He was deliberately doing that.


    Bunny¡¯s bright voice¡­ ¡­ . The song that Bunny sang¡­ ¡­ .


    A person who likes to talk like Ji-eun cannot be silent without a reason.


    And the reason Ji-eun was silent now must have been because of Yoon-woo.


    Because she didn¡¯t say anything after I caught her who was about to fall down the stairs.


    Yoon-woo knew very well what to do in such a case.


    He considered himself a non-existent person and kept himself away in an inconspicuous corner.


    If he unnecessarily opens his mouth or puts his face in front of that person, he will be beaten and cursed.


    People who were silent in front of Yun-woo were always thinking of some complicated thoughts that Yoon-woo did not know.


    For example, the silence of his father who lost hundreds of millions of won while doing stocks, or the silence of his mother, who was having an affair with a young professor.


    If Yoon-woo intervenes without notice, of course, it will only make their mood worse.


    Needless to say, Yoon-woo is the cause of the silence.


    Anytime, anywhere, Yoon-woo is better off keeping his mouth shut.


    So, even though Yoon-woo was also going to the Librral Arts center, he didn¡¯t say anything to Ji-eun.


    He deliberately walked slowly behind Ji-eun, trying to get out of her sight.


    Perhaps the fact that Ji-eun spoke again was the fruit of these efforts.


    ¡°I see. Then be careful.¡±


    ¡°Uh, huh? Yoon-woo, where are you going? Aren¡¯t you on the 3rd floor too? The elevator is coming down¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°I want to go up by foot.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Just because I prefer to walk up.¡±


    Yoon-woo was also not indifferent.


    Ji-eun, who clearly seemed uncomfortable with Yoon-woo, would not want to ride the elevator with Yoon-woo.


    And to be honest, Yoon-woo doesn¡¯t usually ride elevators.


    Because he didn¡¯t want to be confined in a narrow space.


    There were times when he felt like he was about to fall.


    A heavy anxiety squeezed his lungs, choking his breath, and the sound of his pounding heart seemed to ring directly in his head.


    I feel like I¡¯m about to vomit because the oxygen supplied to my brain isn¡¯t enough.


    Sometimes I felt that way even when I was alone in my bedroom.


    The already low ceiling gradually descended, and I seemed to crumple flat like a cockroach crushed by a wheel.


    The only thing that saved Yoon-woo from such a feeling was Bunny.


    ¡°Ehh¡­ ¡­ . Are you going to leave your Noona, who almost fell, and go away like that? Ah~ I¡¯m so lonely~ I¡¯m so lonely~¡±


    Ji-eun suddenly spoke in a playful tone without even looking at Yoon-woo until now.


    Yoon-woo seemed to understand why Ji-eun was doing this.


    This is a kind of indication.


    It indicates a proposal that Ji-eun doesn¡¯t feel the discomfort that she felt before.


    Therefore, it is a procedure to confirm each other¡¯s intention to act friendly again, even on the surface, and maintain the same relationship as before.


    Because of her character of prioritizing the maintenance of her relationship over the discomfort she harbors inside her, many people would contact her and ask to meet her. Yoon-woo cannot be stubborn when Ji-eun does this.


    ¡°Okay. Then let¡¯s go together. What class is yours, Noona?¡±


    ¡°Understanding literature. As the professor is crazy about attendance, I have no choice but to listen to this. There are only 20 students in the class, so the professor has memorized faces and keeps talking and making eye contact with everyone. I hate it.¡±


    ¡°Why did you apply for that? I think it does not have a good review.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s because of the scores. But, it¡¯s so boring.It¡¯s seriously no fun.¡±


    ¡°I see¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    There were several classmates in the elevator who went to hear the ¡®Thoughts and Expressions¡¯ class, but they were not pretending to know each other, so we just ignored them.


    It was fortunate that there weren¡¯t any faces Ji-eun knew.


    She¡¯ll say hello to anyone who knows her due to her personality.


    If she¡¯s having fun with her classmates, Yoon-woo will become just their background character, and they will realize that the person they really want to talk to is not Yoon-woo.


    ¡°Yoon-woo. Thank you so much for helping me earlier¡­ ¡­ . Then, see you later after the class.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, goodbye noona.¡±


    After greeting Ji-eun in front of the classroom, Yoon-woo entered the classroom.


    As soon as I entered, I felt a sense of bitterness.


    Lectures for freshmen are the time Yoon-woo hates the most.


    Unlike large lectures where people who barely know each other sit together, this essential liberal arts lecture with about 40 people in the same class is friendly to each other.


    Except for Yoon-woo.


    That pleasant air was too heavy for him.


    Practical English, the next lecture, is also a required lecture for freshmen.


    So Tuesday and Thursday were especially depressing days for Yoon-woo.


    During the essential education class, the loud talk about the Mutiny festival could be heard even though he didn¡¯t want to.


    Hearing that, even though Yoon-woo was a college student himself, he didn¡¯t envy college students.


    Yoon-woo has always lived as an alienated person from the group since elementary school, but when he was in middle school and high school, when he was outright insulted and criticized by the groups, he felt more comfortable there than here.


    It was because of the compassionate gaze of the group here who approached him with kindness and consideration and looked at him with a pitiful expression, saying, ¡®Why can¡¯t you be part of this group when we care so much?¡¯


    Occasionally I got a call asking if I would like to join the MT or if I would like to come to a drinking party, but I knew that it was only a courtesy.


    Tl/n : [ MT: Membership Training (MT) is an event held among university students in South Korea. These events last roughly two days and are considered a free-form training session, where students spend time socializing with peers in the same academic majors or clubs, often at a remote location. ]


    It was clear that he would be more embarrassed if he accepted.


    In addition, when Yoon-woo entered the classroom, some groups in the classroom stopped talking and glanced at him, which further stimulated his sense of victimization.


    Were they saying something that he shouldn¡¯t hear?


    Or is it that they just don¡¯t like a stranger entering their harmonious space?


    Still, it was fortunate that such a class only existed in the first year.


    ¡®Lee Yoon-woo, he was coming with a girl earlier?¡¯


    ¡®Was the girl pretty?¡¯


    ¡®She was a very small and cute person.¡¯


    ¡®What, then I guess he wasn¡¯t gay?¡¯


    ¡®Did he just go out because our classmates didn¡¯t notice? Too much really.¡¯


    ¡®If that¡¯s the case, I¡¯m a bit unlucky¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    ¡®Ah, you don¡¯t know yet. Instead of that, let¡¯s ask if it¡¯s okay this Friday, so tomorrow is the class meeting. Anybody want to ask?¡¯


    ¡®You do¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    ¡®Now, let¡¯s not just recommend him. What are you doing to a kid who disrespects us? He doesn¡¯t want to hang out with us.¡¯


    ¡®Maybe there¡¯s something else going on.¡¯


    ¡®Don¡¯t you want to see Yoon-woo Lee? I want to hear his voice.¡¯


    ¡®I want to hear his voice, so let¡¯s ask if he¡¯ll come to the party tomorrow.¡¯


    ¡®Eh? uh¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    ¡®What was his excuse last time?¡¯


    ¡®He said it was difficult to pay the participation fee because he didn¡¯t have money.¡¯


    ¡®Are we going to just say it¡¯s free this time?¡¯


    ¡®Still, he can¡¯t be the only one.¡¯


    ¡®Why not? I will pay for it.¡¯


    ¡®No, it¡¯s strange for anyone to participate in it for free¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    In one corner of the classroom, I could hear girls whispering in low voices.


    I don¡¯t know what they¡¯re talking about, but the professor hasn¡¯t even come in yet, so why aren¡¯t you talking in a loud voice?


    Yoon-woo knew the answer roughly. It¡¯s because the girls who sold Yoon-woo as trash in high school were like that.


    It was a day filled with a lot of pain.


    Ji-eun was blatantly reluctant to hear his voice, and he caught her from falling, but even than she looked at him unpleasantly.


    My classmates whisper in a low voice so that I can¡¯t hear them.


    No, it¡¯s too early to judge.


    Is there a law that says they cannot talk about Yoon-woo?


    And also, there is no law that secret talk must necessarily be gossip.


    So what, are you going to talk about dirty things in the classroom?


    While I was thinking about it, I heard the name Yoon-woo Lee being mentioned among the women.


    Then there is only one answer.


    What¡¯s wrong again this time? What did he do wrong, what are those people cursing about him?


    In this classroom, Yoon-woo was more lonely than when he was alone.


    Yoon-woo became dizzy with the feeling that the ceiling was going to crush him at any moment, so he buried his face in his desk until the professor came, and lay down for a moment to catch his breath.


    ¡°Oh, Yoon-woo! We meet again!¡±


    ¡°Because I took a class in the classroom in front of your classroom¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Have you left any classes?¡±


    ¡°Yes, practical English. How about noona?¡±


    ¡°I have another one, but it¡¯s not a liberal arts center.¡±


    ¡°I see. Will you go to Hye-rim¡¯s home later in the evening?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m thinking¡­ ¡­ . I don¡¯t want to eat vegetables¡­ ¡­ . What do you want me to do?¡±


    ¡°I want noona to come.¡±


    Because the person who should be with Hye-rim is Ji-eun.


    If someone has to get out of there, the person who should disappear is Yoon-woo.


    And if there is only Yoon-woo, Hye-rim would get bored. Then Hye-rim will get tired of this relationship sooner than Yoon-woo thinks.


    ¡°Uh, huh? really? Do you really want me to come?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°uh¡­ ¡­ Then what am I going to do?¡±


    But it was then.


    ¡°Senior Ji-eun? It¡¯s Ji-eun, right?¡±


    ¡°Huh? Oh, aren¡¯t you Saebyeol? Long time no see.¡±


    ¡°Yes that¡¯s right.¡±


    ¡°Are you in the same class as Yoon-woo?¡±


    ¡°Yes, senior, senior, please convince this person. He never comes to class meetings. We have a drinking party tomorrow.¡±


    A girl named Saebyeol joked with Ji-eun.


    Could it be because of this girl that his name came out while they were whispering earlier?


    I hate it.Today is the worst.


    There are people who suddenly become more ethical when they go from high school to university.


    Even people who were excited to say trash things when they were in high school, when they become college students, they feel proud of saying, ¡®I am an archaeologist¡¯ and suddenly set high ethical standards here and there.


    It is just the means of self-satisfaction.


    For example, even those who used to say, ¡°I don¡¯t like him, so let¡¯s not call him.¡± Now, they said, ¡°I¡¯m not a good person who won¡¯t come to parties and MT, and I¡¯m a good person who tries to persuade others to join groups and parties.¡±


    And a person like Yoon-woo is such an easy prey for self-love.


    In particular, that girl named Saebyeol is the worst.


    She is a person who greets him every time they make eye contact, and earnestly encourages Yoon-woo, who does not want to come, to come to the meeting and participate in MT.


    Someone who reminds me of Hye-rim Cho, a 4th grader.


    What would happen if Yoon-woo said that he¡¯s going to participate?


    What if Yoon-woo goes beyond a simple greeting and pretends to be close to that girl more than necessary?


    I have already verified what happened when I was in the 4th grade of elementary school.


    The class president, Hye-rim Cho, burst into tears¡­ ¡­ .


    All Yoon-woo could do was endure the humiliation, respond to the girl¡¯s greeting by waving a little with an awkward expression, and keep refusing the invitation to the meeting, thinking hard about excuses.


    If you do that, the girl pretends to be sorry and makes a gesture that she is sad, and then shows off to her friends the self-esteem Yoon-woo hurt in a way.


    However, this time, she asked Ji-eun to persuade Yoon-woo without telling him directly. Maybe she knew that was not enough with her persuasion.


    Yoon-woo had already told Ji-eun that he couldn¡¯t get along with the classmates, but when another girl told Ji-eun, he was embarrassed.


    Maybe it¡¯s conveying the message, ¡®This person is an anti-social person who doesn¡¯t fit into the crowd, so don¡¯t get too close to him¡¯.


    Because the conversation of an insider woman is full of traps and hidden intentions.


    But Ji-eun¡¯s answer to Saebyeol was something that Yoon-woo didn¡¯t even think of.


    ¡°Yoon-woo has a young girlfriend waiting for him to eat every meal together, so no matter what anyone says, he can¡¯t go without her permission, okay?¡±


    ¡°Yes?! Uh¡­ ¡­ Are you talking about a senior? Senior and Lee Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°No, not me. Don¡¯t you call me a ¡®cute kid¡¯? So why does a kid like me have to date? He¡¯s meeting the goddess of the business department.¡±


    ¡°OMG¡­ ¡­ Really? Yoon-woo Lee?¡±


    The girl named Saebyeol looked at Yoon-woo for the first time and said:


    Although Ji-eun¡¯s words were not true, he didn¡¯t see the need to deny it.


    Hye-rim¡¯s name didn¡¯t come out, and even if it¡¯s called ¡°xx goddess,¡± it¡¯s just a joke between them, because other students in this department don¡¯t know Hye-rim.


    If he denies in front of her for no reason, Ji-eun will only be embarrassed.


    Why would Ji-eun lie like that?


    Did she still appreciate his help on the stairs? So is she preventing Saebyeol from stealing Yoon-woo from her?


    ¡°That¡­ ¡­ Anyway, I think it will be difficult to attend the drinking party.¡±


    ¡°Ehh ¡­ Huh¡­ ¡­ I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    Saebyeol went back without a word. This time she looked noticeably more pitiful than usual.


    This may be because she sent her sympathetic feelings to Yoon-woo and failed to achieve her original purpose of making him intoxicated with her goodness.


    ¡°Thank you, Noona.¡±


    ¡°What? Didn¡¯t I tell the truth?¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s the truth about that?¡­ ¡­ And, it was hard for her to keep asking questions like that without even wanting me to come anyway.¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo, you¡­ ¡­ . Do you really think so?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re pretty much too¡­ ¡­ . Anyway, I¡¯m late for class. I¡¯ll go now. See you later!¡±


    ¡°Yeah, see you later, noona.¡±


    Just hold on a little longer. Now, if you hold on a little longer, you can go back to your room and talk to Bunny.


    With that in mind, Yoon-woo tried to get all the bad things out of his head today.

 Chapter 19

    ¡®Calm down¡­ ¡­ calm down¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    Ji-eun, who entered the ¡®Understanding of literature¡¯ class, tried to regain her composure, but her pounding heart was not easily calmed.


    Because the more she tried to forget, the clearer it came to her mind.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s soft voice rang in her ears. Yoon-woo¡¯s tight arms hugging her head to save her from falling, the warm body temperature she felt in those arms¡­ ¡­ .


    Since she was a child, Ji-eun has been living her life by suppressing her greed for a relationship.


    It¡¯s because she¡¯d rather be just a pleasant friend. If she¡¯s serious about someone and she¡¯s treated like a kid, she would get hurt.


    Most of the men who showed interest in her were not very serious.


    People who approached her to flirt tended to regard her as an easygoing partner.


    Ji-eun had guessed that they would think, ¡®I think it would be fun to date her, but I don¡¯t want to put so much effort into her¡¯.


    Because the attitudes of those who approached Ji-eun and those who approached Hye-rim were completely different.


    Ji-eun didn¡¯t want to be treated like a spare wheel.


    Ji-eun was not thirsty for romance to the extent that she¡¯d bend her pride and have a serious relationship with a person who didn¡¯t like her.


    Or, she has lived her life, convincing herself that she is not thirsty.


    There are many things in the world to have fun with even if you don¡¯t have a relationship.


    There were people who were interested in Ji-eun¡¯s youthful voice when chatting while playing online games, but she never wanted to show them her real self.


    Hearing her voice, the image of Ji-eun they imagined and the appearance of Ji-eun in reality are very different.


    Maybe Hye-rim and Ji-eun are of different races?


    So, isn¡¯t it possible that the aspects of a relationship that can be done are set to be different? When she thinks deeply about that, her jealousy towards Hye-rim creeps up, and she compares what Hye-rim has with what she has one by one.


    Then, as ink drops on the basin, her bright daily life is slowly colored dark, and her small heart filled with hate for her dad gets darker and she falls into a sense of self-doubt.


    Her own self is enough for her life.


    So, Ji-eun always worked hard to remove the ink in a hurry.


    Drinking alcohol was a very effective means of removing ink.


    The kind of love that Hye-rim receives from people¡­ ¡­ It¡¯s not necessarily needed for her life.


    Even if she turns around and becomes a fox, muttering that the grapes opened at a height out of her reach must be sour and wither, it was better if she could still maintain good relationships with Hye-rim and others and live happily.


    If she lives concentrating on the pleasure in front of her, she can live happily enough.


    There is no need to reflect on the things that she did not have.


    However, it was Lee Yun-woo¡¯s existence that shook Ji-eun¡¯s heart.


    When she got to drink with Hye-rim and Yoon-woo, Ji-eun thought she just had to drink whatever came to her mouth while drinking, as she always does, without thinking.


    If you put Hye-rim and Ji-eun, who are sitting side by side, in front of you anyway, people¡¯s eyes will all turn to Hye-rim, and the topic of conversation will revolve around Hye-rim.


    Otherwise, if there are people who pay attention to Ji-eun, wouldn¡¯t it be that they are perverts?


    Those guys didn¡¯t take her seriously either.


    However, Yoon-woo Lee was a completely different person from Ji-eun¡¯s expectations.


    Her favorite TV program is Animal Ranch, which airs every Sunday morning.


    Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes when she saw a scene where an abandoned dog, who was injured physically and mentally, was rescued after running away from human touch.


    This weak man seemed anxious even on the outside that he¡¯s in a situation like someone would trick him and grab him soon. And, he looked isolated as if no one could touch him.


    Even though she had to go to Hye-rim¡¯s house every day because of Hye-rim¡¯s uproar, it was ridiculous to see Yoon-woo trying to run away after eating the food.


    Is there a man who draws a line like this on Hye-rim¡­ ¡­ .


    On the contrary, Yoon-woo seemed more comfortable with me than with Hye-rim.


    Yoon-woo, who picked up the salad with chopsticks and put it in Ji-eun¡¯s mouth¡­ ¡­


    There is no way an abandoned puppy can find its owner.


    Whoever rescues them first and adopts them is the owner.


    Perhaps, if Ji-eun behaves well, there is a possibility that Yoon-woo will like her rather than Hye-rim?


    If Yoon-woo likes shorty Ji-eun instead of the perfect Hye-rim who has everything¡­ ¡­ .


    If he hugged her from behind like before, and whispered words that he would never have said to anyone, words that he had never heard from anyone, only whispered in her ear¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡®Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah ¡®


    Ji-eun grabbed her hair and contemplated. Unfortunately, Ji-eun¡¯s appearance and that gesture stood out in front of the professor.


    ¡°Student Yoo Ji-eun? What do you have to say?¡±


    ¡°Yes, yes?¡±


    ¡°Student, is there something you don¡¯t understand? What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°Ah? uh¡­ ¡­ I was wondering why Jangseung suddenly appeared in this part¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Ji-eun picked up a few sentences and said in a hurry.


    It was a strange sentence saying that a Jangseung was in the man¡¯s hand.


    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s a good question. I¡¯ll try to explain. Usually, I don¡¯t think of this as important and just skip it, but I think Ji-eun has a great literary sensibility.¡±


    ¡°Yes? Uh¡­ ¡­ thank you.¡±


    ¡°This Jangseung is a symbol of incest. Unfathomable love! By comparing the wish of incest hidden in a man¡¯s heart to this symbol¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡®What the hell is this class? Why are sexual relations here? What? Unfathomable love? Ughh¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    Korean modern literature is so incomprehensible.


    When I was in high school, I laughed at the literature class for exams that asked for the correct answer, saying that there are no fixed answers in literature, but it was better back then.


    When I came to college, I realized that the literary works that appear in the high school exams are relatively easy and there are only collections of things that cannot be understood easily now.


    There are all sorts of weird symbols, and all sorts of crazy interpretations of them.


    Class ended a little earlier than on time, but I wanted to see Yoon-woo¡¯s face one more time, so I hung around his class nearby.


    It was because I thought it would be beneficial if I could get a chance to see Yoon-woo by waiting only a few minutes.


    After waiting for about five minutes, Yoon-woo¡¯s class was over and the students came out of the classroom.


    I struggled to find Yoon-woo and say hello, but a junior who I only vaguely remember the name of intervened.


    It seemed that she was anxious to take Yoon-woo to a drinking party.


    It was embarrassing to try to use her for that.


    I¡¯ve been waiting as long as I can and I¡¯m saying hello to Yoon-woo, but you interrupted me¡­ ¡­ She is so grumpy and she told Saebyeol that Yoon-woo had a girlfriend.


    ¡®Could it be with you, senior and Lee Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    ¡®No, not me. Don¡¯t you call me ¡® a cute kid¡¯?¡¯


    Saying such a thing made my heart hurt.


    However, after Saebyeol went away, what Yoon-woo said was surprising.


    ¡®It was difficult for them to keep asking without even wanting me to come anyway.¡¯


    It was an inconsistent sentence. But, it was a dangerous remark that could harm him if Saebyul heard it.


    Didn¡¯t you even see Saebyeol¡¯s expression wrinkled?


    I don¡¯t know how Yoon-woo sees the world around him.


    The world Yoon-woo sees might be a world full of enemies, like the world in a zombie movie.


    If so, Yoon-woo would be the most suspicious character who always appears in such a movie.


    A person who is so frightened that he will aim the gun first at anyone who has crossed the fence without checking if it¡¯s a zombie or not.


    But at some point, luckily, Ji-eun followed the reckless Hye-rim and sneaked into Yoon-woo¡¯s fence.


    I even felt a sense of superiority at the thought that maybe I was the only person in the economics department who could talk to Yoon-woo.


    ¡®I hate to eat salad, but I can¡¯t help it because Yun-woo asked me to come¡­ ¡­¡¯


    With that thought in mind, Ji-eun, who finished her last class, headed to Hye-rim¡¯s house.


    ¡°I thought you would run away, did you come? Did you start liking vegetables now?¡±


    ¡°Eww¡­ ¡­ No, I¡­ ¡­ Huh¡­ ¡­ I think so.¡±


    ¡°Thank God. So, will unnie be eating at my house everyday now? I will continue to buy salads for you too. So, you have to come, ok?¡±


    ¡°Ugh¡­ ¡­ I must eat it? ¡­ ¡­ Am I still going to eat that on the weekend?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ll take a look at the arrangement. Thank God. Now, I¡¯ll have to worry less for your health.¡±


    The more she met Hye-rim, the more she realized that she was a good girl, but her affections tended to be heavy.


    Hye-rim¡¯s affection was like a spider¡¯s web, and once she gets caught, it¡¯s hard for her to get out.


    The problem was that Hye-rim¡¯s actions all come from good intentions.


    On the days she just wanted to drink and die, she was annoyed when Hye-rim meddled with her and stopped her from drinking.


    But she¡¯s worried about her, so how can she get angry?


    ¡°That¡¯s right, I¡¯m glad that the noona didn¡¯t hate the vegetables and ate it.¡±


    Yoon-woo, who was weak in asserting himself, is also secretly supportive about eating the vegetables.


    Why are they so anxious about me not eating vegetables? Eating doesn¡¯t make you taller.


    ¡°Huh¡­ ¡­ Vegetables. Yeah¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Ji-eun decided to just let it all go now.


    ¡°But Hye-rim, I like tofu. But, when I went to the supermarket, tofu was expensive¡­ ¡­ .would it stress our budget or can we buy it?¡±


    Yoon-woo asked Hye-rim.


    ¡°It¡¯s sold at the traditional market and it¡¯s the same when you buy at a supermarket or convenience store. It¡¯s a short walk away from home and it¡¯s sold cheaply.¡±


    ¡°Is that so? I thought that the traditional market was a bit inferior and expensive.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s only for fruits. There is a grandmother who makes tofu at the entrance of the market and sells it very cheaply. It¡¯s less than half the price of the supermarket, but it¡¯s a bit firmer and delicious. There is a problem that she doesn¡¯t sell in large quantities like the supermarket, and she also comes with her granddaughter often¡±


    ¡°I see. Hye-rim spends money really wisely. Thanks. I will eat well.¡±


    ¡°Huh, is that so? Am I a little thrifty?¡±


    ¡®What? What kind of couple are you guys?¡¯


    Ji-eun would normally laugh and talk about nothing, but today, that was not the case.


    As she listened to the friendly conversation between Yoon-woo and Hye-rim, the emotions that she had suppressed until now became thorns and stabbed her in the chest.


    Because she had never been truly upset by the fact that she didn¡¯t have what Hye-rim had. But Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­ .


    Hye-rim gets so much attention from everyone, and she even has Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­ .


    Are the words Yoon-woo says to Hye-rim only a compliment?


    Or is it a sincere affection?


    If Yoon-woo and Hye-rim start dating, how should Ji-eun feel when she meets them?


    Ji-eun, who became impatient at such thoughts, stopped, and she inadvertently spit out the things she had only thought about before.


    ¡°Hey there, Yoon-woo. What are you doing on Friday evening?¡±


    ¡°Huh? Tomorrow? I¡¯m going to eat here, why do you ask?¡±


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you eat lamb skewers with me? In addition to classical economics classes, you agreed to help with Korean economic history. I feel sorry for you though.¡±


    ¡°No, you don¡¯t have to worry about it. Last week, noona bought me a drink and showed me a movie.¡±


    ¡°No, Yoon-woo.That¡¯s not fair trade.¡±


    ¡°Huh? Fair trade? What trade?¡±


    ¡°It depends on the class, but if you hand over all the notes until the progress of the exam, you usually get 30,000 to 50,000 won, right? In particular, classes that do not have textbooks and are difficult to take notes are expensive. By the way, Yoon-woo gave me two four-week classes¡¯ notes, right?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ . Is it that expensive? Then, it¡¯s easy for outsiders to live easily.¡±


    In fact, the writing price is a phrase made up by Ji-eun.


    I don¡¯t know, but would it be that much?


    Hearing from Hye-rim how burdened Yoon-woo feels, she thought hard in her head how to persuade him earlier.


    Of course, thinking about it, she didn¡¯t know if she was really going to spit it out¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not like that. How could I be the one who borrowed handwritten notes from a junior and not repay? How would I feel at ease? So, feel free to eat lamb skewers once.¡±


    And, coincidentally, Ji-eun¡¯s method of persuasion worked very well for Yoon-woo.


    Yoon-woo, who had in mind how much he had to repay Ji-eun, heard the price of writing from Ji-eun, and was relieved to know that he had already paid off the debt he owed to Ji-eun with his labor.


    In addition, I sympathized with Ji-eun because she felt uncomfortable with debt.


    ¡°I see¡­ ¡­ . Then I¡¯ll come. Actually, this will be my first time eating lamb skewers.¡±


    ¡°Okay? Then, that¡¯s decided. The place will be in a nice place on top of the building right next to Anam Station. It¡¯s really delicious eating there. It is relatively quiet because it doesn¡¯t have many rooms and it¡¯s not a place where many students come. Let¡¯s go there.¡±


    ¡°Okay. My class ends at 5 on Friday, what about Hye-rim?¡±


    ¡°Uh, Hye-rim?¡±


    Ji-eun didn¡¯t think of this.


    Yoon-woo and Hye-rim decided to continue to work out meals together, so if they had to get our meals elsewhere, of course, he would ask Hye-rim what to do with her meals. She was too mind-boggled with this situation.


    ¡®Hey, when I only mentioned him to come, I was blatantly saying that I wanted to see him only. But, he asked Hye-rim if she wishes to eat also? Eww¡­ ¡­ Yoon-woo is crazy¡­ ¡­ This asshole¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    ¡°Okay, let¡¯s go eat together with unnie.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Uh? Hye-rim, why?¡±


    Ji-eun, surprised by her unexpected reaction, asked Hye-rim.


    ¡°It¡¯s to take care of you. I¡¯m afraid you will get drunk and buy shares for me by calculating. But, if I¡¯m there, I can prevent that, right? Save some money for now. You have used up all the stock profits.¡±


    When she gets drunk, she says because it was Ji-eun¡¯s drinking habit that she was trying to calculate and invest some stocks and shares.


    She usually resented her own drinking habits, but not this time.


    ¡°Ah, okay. But, You don¡¯t have to come. I¡¯ll only have a little drink with Yoon-woo.¡±


    ¡°Uh? alcohol? Were we drinking?¡±


    Yoon-woo asks, bewildered.


    ¡°Huh? If you¡¯re not going to drink, why would you eat lamb skewers?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ It¡¯s not that much, but lamb skewers are delicious when eaten as a side dish. I admit it too.¡±


    ¡°Hye-rim, you too? I see. Lamb skewers are usually eaten with alcohol.¡±


    ¡°Of course. Eating skewers means drinking alcohol, so you have to remember it, ok?¡±


    ¡°I see. I will remember it.¡±


    Of course, there are some people who only eat skewers without alcohol, but there are probably unavoidable circumstances for such a person.


    Missing half of the liver, resection of the stomach, missing one kidney, or something.


    In the end, Ji-eun made a plan to meet at 5 pm on Friday, just in time for Yoon-woo¡¯s class to end.


    While holding her appointment, Ji-eun looked at Hye-rim¡¯s complexion, but she did not feel angry or sad.


    ¡®Can¡¯t you fall for noona, Yoon-woo?¡¯


    It¡¯s just the two of us drinking alcohol, and college students do it casually.


    It does not necessarily have to be accompanied by special emotions.


    This time, there is also a plausible justification of giving back for helping the class.


    So, Hye-rim may be trusting Ji-eun like a rock.


    However, since Ji-eun¡¯s intention to buy Yoon-woo lamb skewers was not purely to repay him for providing her notes, her guilt weighed down on Ji-eun¡¯s chest.


    ¡®Ah. ¡­ I do not know. What¡¯s so special about this¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    She just decided not to think of anything.


    Just because she has a black heart, she doesn¡¯t intend to lure Yoon-woo to a motel by turning him into a gangster, and even if she has such a plan, it doesn¡¯t seem like Yoon-woo will be enticed.


    When you are in trouble, just drink and talk.


    Then they parted and each went home¡­ ¡­ . Meanwhile, she thought it would be nice to get to know him a little bit more.


    What¡¯s wrong with that?


    When she goes home after drinking and talks like a fool, she is the most confident in herself. So, she wondered if he would be like that, too.


    ================================

 Chapter 20

    Some days, just meeting with people tears apart my heart.


    People roughly scratch and rub Yoon-woo¡¯s rotten parts of the heart. And, then, Yoon-woo, after returning to his room from meeting people, thinks about the day he spent and becomes worn out.


    [ T/N: Rotten parts of the heart: Bad parts of him. Like him being alone and not hanging out with friends. ]


    However, no matter how much people swore, the things about Yoon-woo that people hated could not be easily fixed.


    For example, the voice¡­ ¡­ .


    It would be nice for him to be able to change the voice too.


    Then, Ji-eun wouldn¡¯t be surprised every time Yoon-woo said something and wouldn¡¯t avoid it.


    Where are the vocal cords located in the throat? Can¡¯t I just put something in my throat that can change my voice?


    Even when eating dinner at Hye-rim¡¯s house, Yoon-woo only thought of Bunny.


    To him it seemed only Bunny was by his side in this whole world.


    Bunny did not blame or criticize Yoon-woo for his voice.


    So I just wanted to stay like this.


    He didn¡¯t want to lose Bunny who didn¡¯t hate him just because he wanted to meet her.


    But Yoon-woo was only thinking about himself.


    Broad-minded people like Hye-rim and Ji-eun always carry on conversations while considering the other person¡¯s point of view.


    So, they have a gentle and pleasant personality that goes well with their good looks, and they maintain their relationships.


    However, humans like Yoon-woo constantly make mistakes while being constantly afraid of being judged. They try rephrasing the things to say but they still make mistakes resulting in hurting themselves and others.


    Even if he thinks hard about what to say, the other person would not easily accept Yoon-woo¡¯s words as the way he meant it to be.


    Isn¡¯t it a congenital disease of a defective product called Yoon-woo Lee that he can¡¯t even properly put his heart into words even if he squeezes his thoughts?


    [So, you decided to drink with that senior this time? Is our Tofu doing well?]


    ¡°It¡¯s going well¡­ ¡­ . And, it¡¯s just to repay for handwritten notes.¡±


    [How about that senior? Pretty?]


    ¡°Yeah, she¡¯s a pretty and cute person.¡±


    [Last time, there was a very pretty person. This time the senior is pretty and cute? Tofu has some luck¡­ ¡­ .]


    I told Bunny that I was going to have a drink with Ji-eun. It was just to inform her that I might be late on the phone tomorrow evening.


    Of course, I had no intention of ruining her mood, and I had no idea that the way I spoke would upset her.


    Because the drinking party with Ji-eun was just a process of paying off mutual debt to Yoon-woo.


    Rather than giving it a meaning, I was more worried that I might find a dislike for me in Ji-eun¡¯s behaviour like before.


    However, Yoon-woo, who doesn¡¯t treat himself as a normal human in his heart, did not realize that Bunny¡¯s situational awareness would not be the same as that of him.


    That was the wrong thing he had done.


    [So what are you gonna do, Tofu? Which of the two do you like? Between the very pretty classmate and the pretty and cute senior?]


    ¡°I keep telling you, Bunny, I have only you. You don¡¯t have to ask me that.¡±


    [Huh? uh¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°By the way¡­ ¡­ . No matter how I think about it, I think I said something wrong. Can¡¯t we just not meet on Sunday? I should have said I trust you too, but I think I was whining for nothing.¡±


    [Why? Do you hate seeing me now?]


    ¡°No, a little¡­ ¡­ . I got scared¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [What are you talking about? Am I scary?]


    ¡°I¡¯m not saying Bunny is scary¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Tofu, you know what you¡¯re talking about sounds really strange, right?]


    Bunny didn¡¯t even wait for Yoon-woo to complete the sentence. Only then did Yoon-woo realize that he had made her very angry.


    Because her voice was as cold and frozen as when she was talking about her father who betrayed her mother.


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ . what?¡±


    [So now¡­ ¡­ . You have dinner with that very pretty classmate every day, and you have plans to drink with a pretty and cute senior tomorrow. How am I supposed to accept this?]


    ¡°Uh, huh? But, you are you. You and those people are different.¡±


    [What¡¯s different? Do you think I¡¯m not pretty like them? Are you tired of me hanging out with pretty people in real life?]


    ¡°NO!, it¡¯s not¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Or what? Are you afraid that I, who doesn¡¯t even know your face, will cling to you and annoy you? You just want me to remain as your boring chatbot. Is that it?]


    ¡°No¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯m just¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Tofu, I know which school you go to and I know your real name, too. If you think I¡¯m going to retreat so easily just because you¡¯re tired¡­ ¡­ . uh¡­ ¡­ ? Tofu? Excuse me¡­ ¡­ . Perhaps¡­ ¡­ . now¡­ ¡­ Are you crying?]


    ¡°Sorry¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯m sorry Bunny¡­ ¡­ . I didn¡¯t mean that.¡±


    I was able to ignore any criticism from others without an expression, but when I faced Bunny¡¯s anger, I felt overwhelmed, and I immediately burst out crying.


    How can I make a sweet person like Bunny angry? How can I get upset when I was the one who made her angry?


    Yoon-woo felt pathetic and disgusted with himself and wanted to disappear from the spot.


    What if it was someone else? If it was Hye-rim or Ji-eun who talked to her and not me¡­ ¡­ .


    I want to be someone else. I wish it was someone other than me who was here.


    [Uh¡­ ¡­ . What should I do? Don¡¯t cry, Tofu¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°Sorry¡­ ¡­ . I was wrong¡­ ¡­ . Sorry¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    I¡¯m so disgusting.


    Now I won¡¯t even have to go until Sunday. Bunny must have already hated me.


    [Uh¡­ ¡­ . excuse me¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯m sorry for being angry, Tofu.I lost my temper, and you weren¡¯t listening to me. About that¡­ ¡­ What did you mean? The reason you don¡¯t want to meet me.. ¡­ .]


    As soon as Bunny realized that Yoon-woo was crying, she began to comfort Yoon-woo with a kind voice.


    This kindness was due to her considerate nature.


    What do you think of Yoon-woo inside now?


    ¡°Just¡­ ¡­ I¡¯m afraid I won¡¯t be able to even talk to you like this¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Why can¡¯t you do that? Ah¡­ ¡­ . Maybe because I¡¯ll be disappointed when I see you in real life?]


    ¡°Huh¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [I won¡¯t be disappointed, you idiot ha¡­ ¡­ ]


    Bunny sighed deeply.


    Maybe this will be the last one.


    Bunny may have gotten tired of me now.


    Even if it¡¯s not right now, after a long time after hanging up, on a Sunday morning, you may think, ¡®I don¡¯t think I¡¯m going to meet such a pathetic bastard.¡¯


    [Tofu. Just come out on Sunday morning as scheduled. Then you won¡¯t have to worry about such useless things anymore. Understand?]


    ¡°Okay¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Sorry for getting angry¡­ ¡­ . Don¡¯t cry.]


    ¡°Huh¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Then I will see you on Sunday. Okay?]


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    No other answer is possible anyway. Today was a heartbreaking day.


    So I waited only for time to talk to Bunny.


    There was also the expectation that Bunny, who noticed Yoon-woo¡¯s hardship, would sing a playful song again.


    But Yoon-woo ruined it all.


    It¡¯s always been like that. It was always Yoon-woo himself who ruined Yun-woo¡¯s life.


    After talking with Bunny, Yoon-woo imagined a daily life without her.


    No matter what happens, if you work hard and imagine a bad situation in advance, you will feel less sorrow and pain.


    On a Sunday morning, sitting alone in a Bordeaux baguette shop, looking out the window and checking the clock alternately, he regains his broken heart¡­ ¡­ .


    Hye-rim and Ji-eun are far away and he is living a life of not saying a word a day again¡­ ¡­ .


    Whether people are born that way, or whether they become him, he desires many times in a day to get rid of his voice.


    Otherwise, the words that could not be uttered will go round and round inside his mind which will make him go insane.


    The swirling thoughts swallowed up Yoon-woo¡¯s reality, and Yoon-woo lived in fear and anxiety, feeling trapped in a huge stomach that does not know when the digestive juices will come out.


    The way to suppress such fear and anxiety is to think of yourself as an inorganic thing or corpse that does not feel pain.


    Maybe he was thinking about death so much as it would make this miserable life easy to live in.


    Bunny was the closest to his death, but she was also the one who brought him the closest to life.


    Before Bunny came into my life, I could only talk to a part-timer at a convenience store a day.


    At that time, I didn¡¯t even go to the gym. So, I bought and ate a sandwich which was about 2,300 won for lunch and that¡¯s all I had for a day.


    Even so, I did not feel hungry because of the unbearable anxiety.


    To forget my anxiety, I went into an open chat room and looked for someone to talk to like crazy all day.


    I wasn¡¯t born to be loved, and I didn¡¯t deserve attention, but I thought I would be able to overcome my fears by finding someone like me, someone who couldn¡¯t live any longer, sharing a few words with me


    Bunny he met in this way consoled him, made his heart feel safe which was more than what he had expected.


    Without Bunny, would I be able to meet someone like Hye-rim or Ji-eun easily?


    Yoon-woo felt like the ceiling of the room was coming down to crush him.


    His hands started shaking and he was short of breath.


    What would Hye-rim and Ji-eun think of me if they saw this?


    If I puke at Hye-rim¡¯s house¡­ ¡­ . Such a feeling of fear pressed Yoon-woo¡¯s chest, making it even more suffocating.


    My heart was pounding and the bed was wet with sweat.


    My vision was blurry.


    It seemed as if the things above were coming down and the things below were rising up.


    With trembling hands, Yoon-woo took the medicine box out of the drawer and swallowed more than half of the Seroquel pill.


    Although it is a famous pill that makes you fall asleep like crazy, it is a drug that is prescribed to those who have insomnia or mental patients for various purposes. It had few side effects and was safe.


    The doctor told me to cut the pills and eat only half of them if I was fine, but Yoon-woo was collecting the half-cut pills one by one from an empty container.


    On such a difficult day, he eats half an extra pill and goes to sleep.


    *********


    ¡°I made a mistake¡­¡­ this temper¡±


    After finishing the phone call with Yoon-woo, Bunny was shivering with regret.


    ¡°Ah¡­ Why are you doing this if you¡¯re going to make Yoon-woo cry? Are you crazy? Really¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­. What do I do¡­? I¡¯m sorry, Yoon-woo¡­¡­.¡±


    I was too immersed.


    As I thought, Bunny is the character who should not be angry with Yoon-woo.


    However, the problem was that I pretended to be Bunny for too long.


    Suddenly, my mind erupts and I couldn¡¯t control myself shooting words endlessly at Yoon-woo.


    ¡®No¡­ But it¡¯s not ruined yet. Not yet¡­¡¯


    ******


    It¡¯s Friday. Ji-eun missed the classical economics class that she had to take with Yoon-woo.


    -Yoon-woo, I¡¯m sorry. I overslept. I¡¯ll make sure to listen to it next week!


    -Yeah, I wrote the notes down, so don¡¯t worry.


    As expected, he believes in the words of a senior, who said that she overslept.


    In fact, Ji-eun woke up early in the morning and was in a frenzy.


    ¡°Ah, do I need to put on makeup? It¡¯d be weird if I suddenly dressed up too much and it¡¯s not like we¡¯re seeing each other. Should I just wear a simple jacket and jeans? But didn¡¯t I keep wearing this in front of Yoon-woo? ¡­ What if he thinks that I didn¡¯t change my clothes¡­What? Why does it smell like beer? Do I smell like this in front of Yoon-woo?¡±


    When Hye-rim told her that I smelled of alcohol I took it as a joke. But I can¡¯t believe it wasn¡¯t¡­¡­. I can¡¯t believe I smelled like this even at the moment he hugged me on the stairs.¡­.


    ¡°Ah¡­ I want to die¡­¡±¡­.¡¯


    Ji-eun, who was agonizing in front of her closet, ended up thinking of wearing skinny jeans, a white cap for short hair, and a hoodie¡­


    I was going to wear it.. but I also wore it last week when I watched a movie.


    ¡°If I wear this again, I¡¯ll look like a thief. Why don¡¯t I have any clothes?¡¯


    Such an idea made Ji-eun walk to the shopping mall early in the morning.


    Ji-eun, who is a little less than 150cm tall, took longer to shop than others.


    It was so hard to find the right size for her, let alone something good.


    First of all, most of the clothes bought at adult clothing stores didn¡¯t fit.


    Still, it¡¯s good to argue that the hoodie was intended to be overfit somehow, but that also depends on the appearance of the hoodie.


    If you wear something wrong, it would be like the child wearing the adult¡¯s clothes, making you look completely ugly.


    As a result of hard work from the morning, Ji-eun was able to buy a zip-up hoodie with a pretty two-tone design, which was colored white and black, at a reasonable price.


    It¡¯s really hard to buy a pair of clothes. Ji-eun just wore a varsity jacket every day because she was lazy.


    After shopping like that, I looked at the clock at 1 p.m., and the classical economics class was already over.


    Hye-rim also contacted me about why I wasn¡¯t coming to eat.


    Ji-eun replied that she just woke up.


    I should have had lunch at Hye-rim¡¯s house.


    I can¡¯t meet Yoon-woo because I¡¯m getting ready to meet him. What contradiction is this?


    I think the image of an unfaithful and lazy senior has become stronger because I¡¯ve been doing nonsense for no reason.¡­ Ji-eun, who came home with that thought, was exhausted from shopping and fell asleep without eating.


    Fortunately, I woke up at 4 p.m., an hour before the appointment. I took a shower in a hurry, put on light makeup, dressed according to the style I had in mind in the morning, and looked in the mirror for a long time before heading to Anam Station.


    On the way to the meeting place, Ji-eun felt dejected for no reason.


    ¡°Even if I make such a fuss, what¡¯s the use? That eunuch doesn¡¯t even budge at Hye-rim.¡±¡¯


    Hye-rim even wore tight leggings at the gym and bragged about her body a lot in the gym.


    The person who didn¡¯t even pay attention to it wouldn¡¯t show interest in her.¡­ But it¡¯s not impossible to say that he likes her, right?


    In fact, Yoon-woo¡¯s response was surprisingly quite good.


    ¡°Huh? You look so pretty¡±.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ Do I? Really?¡±


    ¡°Especially hoody. You look great in it¡±.


    ¡°Really? I think so, too. Hehe.¡±


    Maybe Yoon-woo is a person who gives this kind of compliment to whoever comes out with him.


    However, to say that, I¡¯ve never seen Yoon-woo compliment Hye-rim about her appearance or clothes, so I felt a little good.


    Come to think of it, this may be a matter of threshold.


    Hye-rim is always pretty anyway, so her threshold is too high.


    So, no matter how pretty Hye-rim dresses up, it¡¯s easy to notice¡­¡­.


    But what about her? Wearing clothes that smelled of beer and showed no washing, the threshold must have been very low.


    Ji-eun, who looked like a beggar, suddenly comes out in a new outfit, so she looks completely different.


    Anyone will think that she is dressed up.


    I felt better after being praised by Yoon-woo, but when I woke up tomorrow, I thought I should wash my clothes first.


    5 o¡¯clock was still early, and on Friday evening, there were many students going down to their homes.


    So, Ji-eun and Yoon-woo were the first customers at the lamb skewer restaurant.


    There were no other customers for a long time.


    ¡°Wow, this is working. I thought I should turn it upside down and grill it.¡±


    ¡°Is this really your first time seeing it?¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡±


    Interestingly, Yoon-woo, who kept looking at the skewer spinning on the machine, was cute like a cat waiting for the food.


    Just looking at him made me laugh for no reason.


    How many things in the world have this weak minded junior not done to be even amazed by the machine running on a skewer?


    I wanted to see more of these reactions.


    At the moment he first experienced something, I thought it would be nice if I could join and watch his fresh appearance from the side.


    ¡°Hey, Yoon-woo, it¡¯s over there. Yoon-woo, ¡­¡­. Have you ever drunk with someone else like this before?¡±


    ¡°No, I haven¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ You¡¯re a freshman and you¡¯ve never done this? Last semester, too? Is it your first time drinking with me?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I haven¡¯t. You¡¯re the first one that I¡¯ve done this with¡±


    Oh my god, it was his first time doing this.


    Perhaps every time Yoon-woo eats lamb skewers, he will think of me?


    Or whenever he drinks¡­¡­.


    When I thought of that, I couldn¡¯t control my pounding heart.


    Fortunately, she knew a good way to calm down in situations like this.


    ¡°Boss, give me a bottle here!¡±

 Chapter 21

    There are people who like to drink too much.


    Especially in their early 20s, there are quite a few people who are just looking for a reason to drink their brains out because it feels so good to be drunk with anyone even without a reason.


    And almost all such people have one or two dark histories caused by alcohol.


    One of the common mistakes such people make is they get overconfident in their capacity to consume alcohol.


    The amount of alcohol you can consume varies depending on what kind of alcohol you drink and how you drink it, and there is a big difference depending on the condition of your body.


    A person who drank three bottles of soju and was still in good health could fall over with two glasses of beer in one day.


    Drinking alcohol on an empty stomach, drinking right after getting out of a sauna, drinking when very tired, drinking on a very bad day, drinking on a very good day or drinking after exercising vigorously. When you drink in these conditions, you should be aware that you are not in a normal condition to drink and should drink carefully.


    But today, Ji-eun and Yoon-woo both had various problems.


    First of all, the lamb skewers that she and Yoon-woo ate were her first meal today.


    I couldn¡¯t eat breakfast or lunch because I was making a fuss over buying new clothes in the morning.


    So, my stomach was empty, but I took one shot of soju on an empty stomach to suppress my excitement, so I started getting drunk a little faster than usual.


    In fact, she was a very strong drinker, so that wasn¡¯t a big deal.


    On some days when she was in good condition, she could walk home easily even after drinking more than 3 bottles of soju.


    Ji-eun is good at drinking any kind of mixed alcohol, but she doesn¡¯t like beer or makgeolli with low alcohol content, because it makes her full before she gets drunk enough.


    Still, that didn¡¯t disrupt her usual drinking parties since she tended to eat according to what others asked her to eat.


    Even after drinking like that, Ji-eun did not have a dark history due to alcohol.


    Strangely, if Ji-eun drinks too much alcohol, she gets up and goes home saying, ¡®I¡¯m sorry, I have to go home now.¡¯


    In that case, Ji-eun would calculate and pay for her share the day after, so no one would say anything to her.


    And even on the days she wasn¡¯t that drunk she would calculate the price of her share, so it was often the case that the people who drank with her felt sorry, so they counted the money she had to pay separately the next day and send it to Ji-eun.


    Is spending money for alcohol a dark history of Ji-eun?


    Still, because of that personality, most people had a crush on Ji-eun.


    The real problem was that Ji-eun was getting drunk a little quickly since she was excited, so she forgot to look after Yoon-woo.


    Ji-eun, whose head was filled with various thoughts, could not afford to think that Yoon-woo drank less than a bottle of soju.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s mood has been bad since yesterday because of the incident with Bunny.


    His psychiatric medications consisted of morning and evening pills and just before going to bed, but the doctor told him not to take the drug all day when drinking.


    While his mood didn¡¯t subside clearly, Yoon-woo, who became anxious just by the fact that he forgot to take medicine and exercised more than usual in the morning.


    So, he was very tired both physically and mentally.


    ¡°How are you, Yoon-woo? Do you know why lamb skewers are a side dish? There is a slightly greasy feeling when you eat it, but soju subsides that greasy feeling!¡±


    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s really delicious. Thank you, noona.¡±


    ¡°Huh¡­ ¡­. It¡¯s okay. If you want, they serve dumplings as a service, and that¡¯s great too¡­ ¡­.¡±


    Ji-eun was happy. She had a sense of achievement that she succeeded in selecting the menu, and it was good to see Yoon-woo eating lamb skewers for the first time.


    I was happy to make a sound from clashing glass to glass with Yoon-woo.


    The human mind may not always be described in one word.


    Romantic feelings are more difficult.


    Some people call it a loving couple just because a man and woman walk together, but the word love encompasses too many different situations and different emotions.


    There are people who change the ones they meet frequently, but can it be said that their romantic feelings are the only romantic feelings? I don¡¯t know.


    You can¡¯t fully comprehend a person¡¯s feelings unless you become the other person.


    Since you can¡¯t take your heart out and measure it, you can¡¯t collect, analyze, classify, or quantify instances of the emotion of love.


    Therefore, only God knows whose heart is light and whose heart is heavy, which heart is true and which heart is false.


    For example, among Ji-eun¡¯s friends, there is a girl who cries while drinking with her every time she breaks up, even though her boyfriend changes very often.


    On the other hand, there were also friends who had broken up with the person they had been dating for several years and were still indifferent.


    In the world, there is such mournful love and also indifferent love, Ji-eun accepted them without much thought.


    She didn¡¯t know and didn¡¯t need to know the details.


    Since her mother¡¯s death, Ji-eun had never had such intense emotions.


    She had no interest in other people¡¯s love affairs at all.


    That would be something they had to figure out by themselves.


    If there were ten people, there would be ten types of love.


    No matter how many times you date someone, you only have one view of love.


    She cannot judge other people¡¯s love by her own standards.


    The human heart is very difficult to understand.


    The heart of a weeping friend may actually be infinitely light, and a humble friend may feel the pain of having her guts cut inside.


    It is not easy to see who thinks about love.


    Perhaps, they are unaware of one fact.


    Even a very heavy and sincere heart may last for only a very short time.


    Even Ji-eun¡¯s father might have loved her mother sincerely for a moment.


    In that spacious house, where even her father had left, and where the happy scenes of the past are scattered like afterimages, and now she is all alone. Ji-eun thought about such things.


    After thinking for a long time, she realized that it was no use for her to think alone.


    No matter how much she thinks about it, she doesn¡¯t know what other people think.


    So, to Ji-eun, dating was someone else¡¯s story, and it was just an excuse to drink. ¡®Did you end up dating him? Then you should drink!¡¯, ¡®Have you broken up? ¡­ ¡­ . Then you should drink!¡¯


    So, the excitement she feels now looking at Yoon-woo was of great confusion to her.


    Even though it was her own heart, she couldn¡¯t tell if this was just a light impulse or a heavy craving that she couldn¡¯t put down easily.


    The thought that Yoon-woo might not be disappointed with her appearance kept lingering in her mind.


    Yoon-woo always had a serious face and seemed to be thinking about something, and to him, things like Ji-eun¡¯s short and thin physique or Hye-rim¡¯s attractive body didn¡¯t seem to matter very much.


    Surprisingly there might be a very small possibility that some people are at the root of other people¡¯s desires.


    ¡®This person might really like me¡¯, ¡®This person might recognize me like this.¡¯


    Maybe people want to hand themselves over to someone.


    However, if the other person does not accept them completely, they try to change themselves by throwing away some parts and keep only some other parts, and even those parts might get thrown away by the other person someday, leaving only a ragged and pitiful state of themselves.


    So, they may be looking for someone who accepts them as who they are.


    Ji-eun, who had no dating experience, did not know how to deal with such feelings.


    As much as Yoon-woo felt lovable, she also felt guilty for Hye-rim.


    She thought that she should not express her feelings for Yoon-woo in front of him.


    But Hye-rim¡­ ¡­ . Even if Hye-rim loves Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­ .


    Ji-eun¡¯s motto was, ¡®If you don¡¯t know what to do, drink first.¡¯


    If she¡¯s drinking and chatting and having fun, that¡¯s fine.


    With that in mind, she drank alcohol while toasting and shouting ¡®Ting ~¡¯, but Ji-eun did not notice that Yoon-woo, who was not good at refusal, was drinking the same amount of alcohol as her.


    Four bottles of soju piled up on the table¡­¡­.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, you know¡­What kind of woman is Yoon-woo¡¯s ideal type?¡±


    Such a topic that ordinary Ji-eun would never have talked about came out of her mouth, whose self-control was loosening.


    ¡°Huh? Didn¡¯t Hye-rim also ask this before?¡±


    ¡°Huh? Did Hye-rim ask?¡±


    Even after drinking two bottles of soju per person, Ji-eun¡¯s face color did not change, while Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes and neck were red and his pronunciations were getting unclear.


    If it were usual Ji-eun, she would have noticed it earlier and sent him home with a chocolate milk, but she was having fun drinking with him, so she continued the drinking party without stopping the conversation.


    ¡°Anyways, what kind of girl do you like?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Because I¡¯ve never thought of being in a relationship¡­¡­. So, I never think about it.¡±


    ¡°Then think about it and tell me.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°You may have to go out with someone someday. Why do you have to think about it now?


    ¡°Uh¡­ Why¡­¡±


    ¡°Hurry up.¡±


    ¡°Hmm¡­Maybe, a girl who likes me?¡±


    ¡°There are a lot of girls like that. Aren¡¯t there, Yoon-woo? So, you like those girls?¡±


    ¡°No, there¡¯s no one like that¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure there are. Haven¡¯t there been many so far?¡±


    ¡°There wasn¡¯t a single person. Really.¡±


    Ji-eun was also quite drunk.


    Maybe she was drunk to create such a mood.


    The fact that there has been no woman who has dated Yoon-woo so far, and expectations for a very small possibility that Ji-eun¡¯s first relationship may be Yoon-woo¡¯s first relationship have taken away her calmness.


    Such expectations made it impossible to notice Yoon-woo¡¯s facial expression getting worse. Ji-eun, who recognizes other people¡¯s feelings and boosts the atmosphere of drinking well, didn¡¯t know that was a topic that Yoon-woo is very reluctant to talk about.


    ¡°That¡¯s weird¡­ Hey, are you going to date anyone if they like you?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°What? That¡¯s different from before.¡±¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ There¡¯s no way someone I don¡¯t know would like me, right? They probably don¡¯t know me properly and like me.¡±


    ¡°Even so, can¡¯t you just meet once? You can break up if you don¡¯t get along while dating.¡±


    ¡°If someone likes me, I will definitely like her, so I won¡¯t ask her to break up first. Then¡­ I¡¯ll have to slowly watch her leave when she hates me more and gets tired of me which I don¡¯t want to face.¡±


    ¡°If you think like that, how can you date someone? You punk¡­¡­.¡±


    Even though Ji-eun had never been in a relationship, such words came out of frustration.


    ¡°That¡¯s right. I can¡¯t date. So, I¡¯m shy to talk about this. There¡¯s no one who likes me anyway.¡­.¡±


    ¡°Hey, then what if¡­ there¡¯s someone¡­. Who really likes you¡­¡­? And she¡¯ll continue to like you until you say no, but if you dump her for such an incomprehensible reason, wouldn¡¯t that be unfair to that person?¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s no one like that.¡±


    ¡°No, just pretend there¡¯s someone! You¡¯re an economics major, right? Don¡¯t you know that virtue of accepting family as a heart? Otherwise, we¡¯ll stop talking.¡±


    ¡°Oh, yeah¡­¡±


    Accepting family as a heart was an essential virtue of the economics department.


    It is a famous joke in economics textbooks to answer, ¡°If you find canned food on an uninhabited island and there is no can opener, what would you do?¡±


    Most economics classes also say, ¡® Do you think the assumptions are out of sync with reality? So what? It¡¯s how to be different from others. If you aren¡¯t satisfied, then transfer to another major.¡¯


    ¡°So, you can accept anyone who will continue to like you?¡±


    ¡°Who has a lot in common with me?¡±


    ¡°Oh, my. Is it about your appearance?¡±


    ¡°No, not that. Just thoughts and environments¡­¡­.¡±


    Anyone who is not loved like Yoon-woo, who is too lonely every day, who is alienated from her family, who is afraid of the sun rising tomorrow morning.


    If she is such a person, even if she finds Yoon-woo¡¯s shortcomings, she may be generous. Like Bunny¡­


    ¡°Really? Hmm¡­Isn¡¯t there a saying that similar people fight often? It¡¯s called homophobia¡­¡­. There¡¯s a saying that most people go well with different people from them.¡±


    That¡¯s true. Even Bunny may be lonely and difficult, but Yoon-woo was always taken care of by Bunny. She always talked a lot, and he only responded like a rat.


    She may have been getting tired of Yoon-woo because he couldn¡¯t give what she wanted.


    ¡°Is that so? That¡¯s possible.¡±


    Then, in the end, it is concluded that there is no one who likes Yoon-woo.


    The love story that college students like is too hard to continue for Yoon-woo.


    Now it may be Yoon-woo¡¯s turn to ask, ¡°What kind of man is your ideal type?¡±


    Ji-eun may be waiting for him to ask that.


    However, Yoon-woo didn¡¯t want to talk about this anymore.


    ¡®If I go home right now and make a voice chat with Bunny, will she forgive me?¡¯


    I acted so badly yesterday¡­¡­.


    If Bunny decided to ignore Yoon-woo from today¡­¡­.


    ¡®Similarities? It¡¯s not about appearance. Let¡¯s move the height.¡­. What are the similarities between Lee Yoon-woo and me? Department of economics major? There are more than 1,000 economics departments. Thoughts? Environment? First of all, I don¡¯t know him very well. Hm¡­¡¯


    Ji-eun, who was thinking like that, looked at Yoon-woo, who became quiet, and finally noticed that something was wrong with him.


    ¡°Huh? What? Yoon-woo? Are you¡­ crying?¡±


    ¡°Huh? No, I¡¯m not crying.¡±


    ¡°Why are you crying¡­ Hold on a second.¡±


    Ji-eun takes a handkerchief out of her arms. It was the same at the movie theater, but Ji-eun habitually carried a handkerchief.


    However, when she sat next to Yoon-woo and reached out to wipe his eyes with a handkerchief, Yoon-woo tried to avoid Ji-eun¡¯s hand, and he turned over the soju cup.


    Soju spilled on Yoon-woo¡¯s pants.


    ¡°Oh no¡­ Why are you avoiding me? If you spill something and drop it, you¡¯re drunk no matter what.¡­.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­¡±


    ¡°What do you mean you¡¯re sorry¡­But there¡­Why are you crying? What mistake did I make¡­?¡±


    ¡°No¡­¡±


    Ji-eun wiped Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes first with a handkerchief and wiped off the thighs where soju spilled.


    And only then did she think of what mistake she made when she saw the piled-up soju bottles.


    ¡°Come to think of it, you cannot even drink a bottle of soju, can you? But I think you kept on drinking at the same speed as me while making cheers.¡­ This is troublesome. What should I do? Yoon-woo, are you okay?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯m fine.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯s okay¡­¡­. Let¡¯s get up quickly.¡±


    With that said, when Ji-eun got up, Yoon-woo also followed her to get up from his seat.


    Fortunately, it wasn¡¯t to the point where he couldn¡¯t walk, but he couldn¡¯t walk straight forward and stumbled.


    ¡°Hey, hey, hey. You¡¯re about to fall.¡­ Yoon-woo, hold my shoulder and walk. Hurry up.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ Thank you. Sorry, I can¡¯t drink well.¡­.¡±


    ¡°No, I should¡¯ve paid more attention to it. I made you drink too much¡­¡­. I was too excited¡­¡±


    Throughout the way to Yoon-woo¡¯s room next to Shin-Hyang Hospital, Yoon-woo bowed his head and walked hard while taking Ji-eun¡¯s support.


    Ji-eun felt guilty that Yoon-woo had been drunk until this point, while she could not deny the strange feeling of satisfaction rising, feeling Yoon-woo relying on her.


    I thought I would like Yoon-woo to continue to rely on me like this.


    Whatever Yoon-woo always has with a serious face, if it were me, I could accept it and understand it.¡­.


    ================================

 Chapter 22

    ¡°Yoon-woo, are you okay now?¡±


    ¡°Yes, thank you noona.¡±


    Ji-eun has been drinking non-stop for the past two years and has seen a lot of drunkards, but Yoon-woo¡¯s capacity was lower than the weakest she had seen.


    His reddened face quickly turned white, and I don¡¯t know why he was crying, but the tears soon stopped.


    He still stumbled a bit, but his gait was much better.


    After arriving at the building on the left-side of the hospital where Yoon-woo lived, Ji-eun put Yoon-woo in front of the stairs to his bedroom, and quickly bought two chocolate milk bottles from a nearby convenience store and gave one to Yoon-woo.


    Yoon-woo and Ji-eun sat side by side on the stairs and put a straw in the chocolate milk.


    ¡°But Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­ . Why are you crying? If there¡¯s anything that bothers you, please tell me anytime. Don¡¯t be uncomfortable. I¡¯m drunk, so I talk nonsense a lot when I¡¯m out of my mind¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°No, I just got drunk and had a bad idea. I¡¯m not sad. It was fun thanks to noona.¡±


    Yoon-woo¡¯s tone was somehow stiff, as if reading a script.


    Ji-eun really thought that even if she made a mistake, Yoon-woo wouldn¡¯t say anything.


    There are a lot of people who are crazy because they talk nonsense when they are drunk, but Yoon-woo¡¯s usual defensive attitude did not disappear even when he got drunk.


    There was a little expectation that Yoon-woo, who had got drunk with a flushed face, would talk more openly, unfortunately, no such thing happened.


    ¡®I should have fed you more food¡­ ¡­ . I feel bad for nothing¡­ ¡­ . Why the hell am I so unlucky? What did I do wrong? Ah¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    Looking back, it seems that I was the only one excited.


    It was embarrassing to ask a question that crossed the line in excitement without even looking at his expression.


    What if he is reluctant to drink with me in the future because of today?


    I had already drunk all the chocolate milk so there was no reason to hang around in front of Yoon-woo¡¯s apartment anymore.


    Yoon-woo also drank all the milk and bowed his head without saying a word.


    She should apologize in the morning for making a mistake.


    From now on, she will never do this again, and she will take care of Yoon-woo, who is not good at drinking, so she will refrain from recommending alcohol.


    ¡®I¡¯m sorry, so should I offer to buy you some hangover soup for lunch? The image of a drunken noona must be renewed¡­ ¡­¡¯


    Ji-eun thought like that, and after seeing Yoon-woo entering the room, she was going to walk home to break her drink.


    She thought about drinking another glass of vodka over a dry snack in the refrigerator to soothe her troubled mind by slowly sleeping. However, contrary to Ji-eun¡¯s thoughts, Yoon-woo was far more insane than it seemed.


    ¡°Did you have a hard time today? I¡¯ll be more careful next time. Hurry up and go to sleep¡­. ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ ? Where are you going, noona?¡±


    ¡°Huh? Where am I going? Of course, to my apartment. And, also to get a drink.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­ . You¡¯re going home¡­ ¡­ . That¡¯s right¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡®Why are you doing this all of a sudden? Why are you looking at me so sadly?¡¯


    Yoon-woo¡¯s tone and expression seemed like he was regretting Ji-eun going home.


    Even so, there was nothing Ji-eun could do for Yoon-woo.


    If you ask Ji-eun where she is going, it is said that she will undoubtedly go to another restaurant for another round.


    It would be wise to bring myself home, think straight and go to bed early.


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­Anyway, shall we see each other tomorrow at Hye-rim¡¯s house ?¡±


    ¡°Uh? Do you¡­ ¡­ . want to go now?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Why? Do you want to go for a second round? In my opinion, your condition right now is too bad. Go to your room now.¡±


    ¡°No, that¡­ ¡­ Oh right. Can¡¯t I take noona back to your home?¡±


    ¡®What? Why is he doing that? Are you flirting with me now?¡¯


    Looking at Yoon-woo¡¯s usual attitude, Yoon-woo was not the type to make such a proposal first.


    Judging from the way that he was drinking and talking earlier, he didn¡¯t seem to be the aggressive towards women type of guy. Then this is definitely alcohol.


    He said that sometimes he turns into a different person when he drinks.


    I thought he was a strong drinker because he drank well as usual until halfway through, but suddenly, as if he had been drinking alone, he suddenly changed.


    Even if the color of his face has returned, it is highly likely that Yoon-woo is in the same state now.


    Because the kid who staggered even after drinking just one bottle of soju had drunk too much today.


    Even if he¡¯s seemingly fine, it¡¯s unlikely he¡¯ll break his shape in just a few minutes.


    Still wanting to walk me home¡­ ¡­ . Do people usually say this to their boyfriend or girlfriend?


    From what I saw at the drinking party, those words were often told only as a mask of consideration.


    It¡¯s a different story to take someone who¡¯s really in a state of not being able to go home alone, but now Ji-eun was the fine one and Yoon-woo the drunk one.


    Maybe she is in his heart¡­ ¡­ . So when he¡¯s drunk, his heart¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡®No, why are you listening to the drunkard? Again, don¡¯t make a mistake by thinking about nothing, and do your best as a senior.¡¯


    ¡°Walking me home¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯m grateful, but you¡¯re not in that state right now. You can¡¯t even walk properly. ¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s okay now, I¡¯ll walk well, really.¡±


    Saying that, Yoon-woo got up from the stairs.


    He sure looks better than before, but his eyes are gloomy and his gait is a little unsettling.


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­ . What¡¯s okay? You¡¯re still staggering¡­ ¡­ . Go on in and sleep.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Then only halfway through. Can¡¯t I?¡±


    ¡°Why are you insisting on doing this¡­ ¡­ ? You don¡¯t want to part ways with me like that?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Huh¡±


    ¡°Uh, huh? Well¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡®Is he the kind of guy with such a drinking habit? He really shouldn¡¯t be drinking¡­ ¡­¡¯


    I had a puppy at my house when I was young.


    His name was Garlic and he was of Spitz breed, but he liked Ji-eun so much that every morning when she went to school, he would whine and cry.


    However, the puppy that her parents had raised before she was born was quite old, and its lifespan came to an end when she was in the lower grades of elementary school.


    At that time, she thought while crying profusely.


    I should¡¯ve missed school a few days and played with Garlic more¡­ ¡­ .


    After that, she was sad because of this, so she never kept animals again.


    But now, looking at Yoon-woo, funnily, it reminded me of Garlic.


    That pathetic expression that tells me not to leave it alone¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡®Ah, I don¡¯t know.¡¯


    ¡°Then um¡­ ¡­ . Let¡¯s go.. ¡­ . You have to hold my shoulder and walk carefully like before, got it?¡±


    ¡°Okay, I get it. thanks.¡±


    Yoon-woo put his arm around Ji-eun¡¯s shoulder as before, but unlike before, his movements were careful and there was not much weight on her shoulder.


    As she was short enough to touch his chin, it felt as if she had become Yoon-woo¡¯s crutches or staff.


    But now that Yoon-woo carefully put his arm around her shoulder, it was as if he was walking half-embracing her.


    Just in case she thinks something strange again, ¡®This bastard is just a drunkard right now¡¯, she repeatedly told that to herself.


    It takes about 20 minutes to walk to Ji-eun¡¯s house, but it took about 30 minutes because Yoon-woo¡¯s pace was slow.


    As they were walking together slowly, Ji-eun asked Yun-woo.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, you, but why did you suddenly say that you would come to walk with me? Do you really want to drink more? Or did you just want to walk? Otherwise¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°No, I just don¡¯t want to go into the room.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t want to go in? Why?¡±


    ¡°The room is too small¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Yes, your studio is a little different¡­ ¡­ . But, you usually live there, don¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°Some days it feels particularly cramped. It¡¯s like being in a washing machine.¡±


    ¡°Washing machine?¡±


    Ji-eun thought that Yoon-woo chose a pretty witty expression.


    Isn¡¯t it usually compared to a rabbit¡¯s den or an ant¡¯s den?


    However, Yoon-woo did not choose a metaphorical expression.


    ¡°When I was a kid, when I got into the house with my clothes dirty like this, I had them put in the washing machine.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ Not your mom? You put your clothes by yourself into the washing machine?¡±


    ¡°Huh.¡±


    ¡°Who?¡±


    ¡°Mother.¡±


    ¡°Your mother.¡±


    ¡°Huh. If I had to think about it.. ¡­ . My mom didn¡¯t do anything. I had to do it myself. And, sometimes, when I was watching the washing machine, it got hard to breathe, and I thought that if someone pressed the button, the water would quickly fill up and I¡¯d drown¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°What? ¡­ ¡­ . what kind of¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    She tried to say what kind of parents he had, but she thought it was rude to speak badly of other parents, even if they were bad parents.


    Because she doesn¡¯t know what Yoon-woo¡¯s parents are to Yoon-woo.


    ¡°So I was very scared¡­ ¡­ . These days, sometimes I feel that way even in my room. So, there are times when I can¡¯t breathe. As if the room is gradually getting smaller¡­ ¡­ . Especially yesterday and today¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡®Do not drink alcohol and take medicine today.¡¯


    But when I got home, I felt like I should ignore the doctor and take medicines.


    I thought that maybe I would swallow all the medicine I had collected little by little.


    So, Yoon-woo was more afraid to go to his room.


    He went into the room and was afraid of what would happen if Bunny didn¡¯t answer.


    As I was drinking the chocolate milk earlier, I checked and found that there were no messages from Bunny.


    It may not be the time to wake up for her yet or it may be.


    I was thrilled to hear that there was one unread kakaotalk, but in a group chat room with Hye-rim, Ji-eun, and Yoon-woo, Hye-rim said, ¡®Is everything okay? Are you still drinking?¡¯


    The message was left unread for now. I couldn¡¯t afford to answer that.


    It was emotion and impulse, not reason, that ruled the drunken Yoon-woo.


    He was afraid to go home and try to contact Bunny, so he was afraid to even enter the house.


    Also, like yesterday, he had hallucinations of the house getting smaller and smaller, he felt like he was going to die choking and suffering.


    So, he clung to Ji-eun while drinking, without even knowing who he was talking to.


    ¡°Hey¡­ ¡­ . That being said, I¡¯m telling you to go home¡­ ¡­ . What do we do? We¡¯re almost at my home already¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, I¡¯ll walk alone for a while and then I¡¯ll go back on my own. Thank you, noona.¡±


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you sleep at a nearby motel? I will give you the money.¡±


    ¡°No. You don¡¯t have to. Really¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°You say I don¡¯t have to¡­ ¡­ Just looking at you it doesn¡¯t look like you¡¯re going to get into the house properly.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s really okay. I¡¯m sorry for worrying you. I¡¯ll go home. Goodbye noona.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ You have to go straight home, okay? When you go in, let me know that you have arrived.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    Saying that, Yoon-woo turned around and his steps were still staggering.


    The back of Yoon-woo walking with his head down and looking at the ground was shabby.


    Seeing that, Ji-eun didn¡¯t take her mind off easily, so she stood staring at Yoon-woo¡¯s back for a long time.


    It was a rough guess that Yoon-woo was a person with emotional problems, but Yoon-woo, who was drunk, seemed even more anxious.


    Judging from his usual personality, he was by no means a person who confided such things with a sane mind.


    I think I¡¯ve seen the abuse of locking a child in a washing machine a few times in documentaries, but I remember most of it being a stepmother.


    But if your biological parents do that¡­ ¡­ . She thought that he might be a more mentally ill person than he appeared.


    It¡¯s the first time Yoon-woo drank alcohol like that. Will he really be able to go home safely?


    If he goes alone and falls and gets hurt¡­ ¡­ .


    If he avoids traffic signals and has a big accident¡­ ¡­ .


    Even if he gets to his house safely, if he is alone at home and gets an anxiety attack when he is drunk¡­ ¡­ .


    Bad thoughts filled her mind slowly.


    Thinking about her mother¡¯s death, Ji-eun couldn¡¯t leave Yoon-woo alone.


    If Yoon-woo was sent back like that, it seemed that she would not be able to lie down comfortably.


    As soon as she thought of that, Ji-eun ran to Yoon-woo and grabbed Yoon-woo¡¯s arm.


    ¡°Ah, I can¡¯t help it¡­ ¡­ . Hey, follow me.¡±


    ¡°Uh? Noona? Why¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Shut up and follow me. That¡¯d put my mind at ease.¡±


    In the end, Ji-eun brought Yoon-woo to her house.


    She handed Yoon-woo, who was bewildered, her spare toothbrush that she had purchased in bulk, and sent him to her bathroom to wash and clean.


    In the meantime, Ji-eun gathered up the clothes scattered around her room and shoved them into her closet, then went to the kitchen and poured a glass of vodka into the glass of wine.


    ¡®It¡¯s not like I had any intention to lure him¡­ ¡­ . As a senior, I put a pitiful junior to sleep at home because of my consideration for my juniors. A lot of people are like that, right? Although, I haven¡¯t heard a male junior and female senior¡­¡­.. Ahh¡­. whatever¡­ I don¡¯t know¡¯


    While Ji-eun¡¯s mind was in a state of chaos, Yoon-woo came out of the bathroom.


    His hair was wet with water, and drops of water ran down his cheeks and glistened on his chin.


    ¡°Hmm. Have you already washed up before coming out?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I didn¡¯t have any clothes, so I just washed my face and washed my hair. But can I really sleep here? It is a little¡­ ¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay! Go to my bed over there and sleep!¡±


    ¡°If I sleep over there, where are you gonna sleep?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll take care of it, so don¡¯t worry about it and get going! There is a hair dryer next to the mirror in my room, so dry your hair! There is also lotion in front of the mirror, so find it and use it in moderation!¡±


    ¡°No, but sleeping in noona¡¯s bed¡­ ¡­ ¡±


    ¡°Hey, didn¡¯t you come in already? Shut up and go to sleep!¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ okay. Thank you noona for taking care of me like this.¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t this what it¡¯s like to be a senior¡­¡­?¡±


    ¡®What do I do? What should I do?¡¯


    Ji-eun, who sent Yoon-woo to her bed, couldn¡¯t stay calm.


    The only man who lay on that bed was her father.


    It¡¯s the bed originally used by Ji-eun¡¯s parents.


    Has Yoon-woo ever slept in someone else¡¯s house?


    It¡¯s the first time the two of us drank together, and it¡¯s not like we¡¯ve been living together forever, right?


    Then he would never sleep in a woman¡¯s house, would he?


    Ji-eun, who had all kinds of thoughts swirling around her, knew there was only one way to calm her confused mind.


    So, Ji-eun took another one-shot of her vodka without any snacks and went into the bathroom.


    But in fact, although she said that, this wasn¡¯t a very good idea.


    The more she drank, the weaker her self-control got and the easier it got to be swept away by her impulses.


    Ji-eun, who came out of the shower, quietly dried her hair outside the room, fearing Yoon-woo might wake up.


    Originally, drying my hair was bothersome, so I slept without washing my hair on the days I drank, but today I was careful and washed my body thoroughly.


    I applied body lotion and changed into neat pajamas.


    Meanwhile, Yoon-woo never woke up.


    Did he fall asleep or faint from alcohol?


    ¡®¡­ ¡­ Why are you so awkward even when you are sleeping? ¡­ .¡¯


    Upon entering the room, Yoon-woo was sleeping in a very pitiful position.


    The bed where my parents slept in the past is very spacious, but for some reason Yoon-woo was lying on the edge of the bed, his hands put on his stomach, his legs stretched out in a straight line, and he was sleeping like a person lying in a coffin.


    This left room for two more adults in the bed.


    Could it be that he left space for her to sleep next to him?


    Ji-eun sat on the bed and looked at Yoon-woo.


    The alcohol was slowly coming up now, and Ji-eun¡¯s gaze at Yoon-woo had a strange urge.


    Yoon-woo didn¡¯t get up even after she poked him on his cheek.


    Anyway, Yoo-woo must have never done anything with a woman until now, but if Ji-eun does anything here¡­ ¡­ .


    Whatever it is, isn¡¯t it the first time for Yoon-woo?


    If that happens, how will Yoo-woo react?


    Wouldn¡¯t he like it?


    It reminded me of Amelie Nothomb¡¯s novel ¡°The Enemy¡¯s Cosmetique¡±.


    [T/n: It¡¯s a real novel. You can google it. I found this out after reading this novel. But, it¡¯s good.]


    Textor Texel, a disgusting sophistry who appears there, tells the logic that ¡°I am willing to commit crimes against you because I love you.¡±


    The main character gets angry and curses at the logic of Texel, but in fact, Texel was a manifestation of the secret desire in the heart of him.


    Everyone wants to deny that they have no such feelings, but that desire exists in everyone a little bit¡­ ¡­ .


    And, now, Textor Texel began to whisper in Ji-eun¡¯s ear.


    Maybe Yoon-woo needs the logic of Textor Texel instead? Yoon-woo says he can¡¯t think that other people will love him.


    Yoon-woo said that if a person loves him, he will love her too.


    If so, wouldn¡¯t he change his mind when he finds out that she can be the object of those feelings and desires?


    If he finds out that there is someone who wants to have Yoon-woo while ignoring his will, won¡¯t Yoon-woo fall in love with that person?


    Ji-eun¡¯s hand, which was stroking Yoon-woo¡¯s cheek and hair, turned to Yoon-woo¡¯s lips.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s breath mixed with the smell of alcohol tickled her hand.


    If Yoon-woo opened his eyes, she would pretend as if she was joking, but he did not even react let alone waking up.


    Even his sleeping face somehow looked depressed.


    If there is a soft smile on his face that matches the voice, and if that smile turns towards her¡­ ¡­.


    Ji-eun¡¯s heart beat faster at that thought.


    Her face gradually moved closer to Yoon-woo, and she moved towards his face slowly and then the distance between their faces was less than a finger¡¯s width.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s warm breath leaking from between his slightly gapped lips touched her lips.


    How long will he sleep? No matter what she does, will he still be asleep?


    Her thoughts swirled around, and she couldn¡¯t stop her urges.


    It was then¡­.


    ??Baby Shark! Too,Too, Too!Baby Shark! Too,Too,Too! Baby Shark! ??


    ¡®Oh, I¡¯m surprised¡­ ¡­ . Make sure the sound rings low as well. ¡­ .¡¯


    Ji-eun got up, startled by the sound of her phone ringtone, so she hurriedly looked for her cell phone, fearing Yoon-woo might wake up.


    She suddenly woke up, as if she had been splashed with cold water, because of the cheerful commotion that flowed from her cell phone. Otherwise, the mood that had dominated her just before will continue.


    She wanted to pound her feet, thinking about what she had just done, and what would have happened to her if she had continued that.


    Still, she actually had a little bit of regret. If only her cell phone hadn¡¯t been ringing¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡°Hello?¡±


    The cell phone she was looking for was on her kitchen table, where she was drinking her alcohol earlier.


    And the caller¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡°Oh, Hye-rim¡­.¡±

 Chapter 23

    ¡°Oh, Hye-rim¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Hearing Hye-rim¡¯s voice, Ji-eun felt guilty and heartbroken.


    What the hell was she trying to do?


    Did you want to bind Yoon-woo¡¯s heart with hardline means and tease Hye-rim, who had been wanting to be with Yoon-woo for 10 years, saying, ¡®Look, this man you haven¡¯t had for 10 years likes me?¡¯


    Maybe I just wanted to fill in the lack of self-esteem in Yoon-woo?


    The fact that it was impossible to assert that there was no such thought at all made Ji-eun¡¯s heart heavier.


    But I swear, there wasn¡¯t even a particle of that thought in my mind until recently.


    Not long ago, Ji-eun had completely forgotten Hye-rim and was engrossed in her impulses and desires.


    She had previously thought that even if Hye-rim had a crush on Yoon-woo, it wouldn¡¯t be as much as hers.


    But at that moment, Ji-eun could not think of anyone other than Yoon-woo, and of other times at that moment¡­ ¡­ It was so heavy that she couldn¡¯t choose what she would have done if her cell phone hadn¡¯t been ringing, and that she didn¡¯t care what the consequences would be.


    A strong desire that Ji-eun never felt before, who lived by prioritizing relationships with people over her own claims, was felt¡­ ¡­ .


    Is it important what Hye-rim thinks of Yoon-woo?


    Is Yoon-woo so important to Hye-rim?


    The human mind cannot be understood until one looks into it.


    And no one can look into the minds of others.


    [I called because no one replied to me on kakaotalk. Have you been drinking?]


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I couldn¡¯t see because I was out of my mind¡­ ¡­ . The drinking party is over.¡±


    [Was it fun? It¡¯s 10 o¡¯clock now, how long have you been drinking?]


    ¡°Well¡­ ¡­ Until about eight o¡¯clock?¡±


    The time it took to drink 4 bottles from 5 o¡¯clock was shorter than I thought.


    It was around 8:20 when I arrived in front of Yoon-woo¡¯s living room, and it was about 9:00 when I brought Yoon-woo into my house.


    [But you did not reply for two hours?]


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ . We both drank quite a bit today¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [How much did you drink?]


    ¡°About two bottles per person?¡±


    [Even Yoon-woo?]


    ¡°Huh¡­ ¡­ . I don¡¯t even remember how much he drank¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    It is not like Hye-rim is Yoon-woo¡¯s girlfriend, but it was her personal responsibility as a senior to make sure he drank alcohol in moderation. Still it was not really necessary to apologize to Hye-rim.


    However, the fact that Yoon-woo was sleeping in her own bed was scandalous enough for Ji-eun to automatically apologize.


    [Did Yoon-woo eat lamb skewers as well?]


    ¡°Yeah, it was delicious. Let¡¯s eat together next time.¡±


    [Yes, but is Unnie at home now? Did you get to your house safely?]


    ¡°Yeah, I was a little bored, so I was sipping some vodka¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Vodka¡­ ¡­ . But what about Yoon-woo? He drank a lot. Is he asleep at his apartment?]


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    [Did unnie take Yoon-woo to his room? To Yoon-woo¡¯s bedroom?]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Huh, Yes..¡±


    She lied without even realizing it.


    She did not feel good about lying to Hye-rim.


    It would have been better to just say that Yoon-woo was so drunk that he couldn¡¯t get his mind right and followed Ji-eun, so he slept at her house.


    Somehow, if she was questioned by Hye-rim, it seemed like even the things she had just done before, and the thoughts and feelings that were the basis for her actions, would flow out.


    However, Hye-rim¡¯s affection, which she thought was like a spider¡¯s web, was much broader and stronger than she thought.


    It was not something she could break through with such a simple lie.


    [Unnie¡­ ¡­ . Why are you lying to me?]


    ¡°Uh, huh? what?¡±


    [Yoon-woo, he didn¡¯t go home. You took him. Why are you lying? Could it be that, even you like Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°uh¡­ ¡­ that is¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    The fact that Hye-rim knew that Yoon-woo had not returned to his house was also terrifying, and she was also afraid of Hye-rim¡¯s voice, which was low and cold, unlike her usual gentle voice, so Ji-eun was speechless for a moment.


    [If you are drinking, what¡¯s wrong with you two? Did you two decide to date secretly? Maybe the two of you already¡­ ¡­ . If that¡¯s the case¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°No! No, Hye-rim¡­ ¡­ . Yoon-woo is just drunk and sleeping. He didn¡¯t go to his room because he was drunk, so he just slept at my house. Isn¡¯t my house big?¡±


    [Then why did you lie? You could have said that from the beginning!]


    ¡°Just¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯m afraid you¡¯ll misunderstand if I tell you he¡¯s sleeping at my house¡­ ¡­ I did not know¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [ Are you two really fine? Are you two really just sleeping without doing anything? Aren¡¯t you two tired after you¡¯ve done everything you want to do?]


    ¡°Nothing is wrong! Really. However¡­ ¡­ . How did you know that Yoon-woo didn¡¯t go to his house?¡±


    [Um, just¡­ ¡­ . While studying at a cafe, I happened to see a man and a woman who looked just like you two in front of Yoon-woo¡¯s dorm. Even if I couldn¡¯t recognize Yoon-woo¡¯s clearly, I can easily recognize unnie, right? But even after time passed, Yoon-woo didn¡¯t come back.]


    ¡°Did you see us from the cafe? You were in the cafe next to the hospital across from his dorm?¡±


    [Yes.]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­. Hey, it¡¯s so far from your house.¡±


    [I just wanted to study in a cafe without people.]


    ¡°There are many cafes without people¡­ ¡­ . When did you go there?¡±


    [At about 6 o¡¯clock?]


    ¡°Hey, how long have you been in the cafe? Since you saw me and Yoon-woo?¡±


    [Right now¡­ ¡­ I am going home.]


    ¡°Are you¡­ ¡­ waiting to see when Yoon-woo would come home¡­ ¡­ ?¡±


    [¡­¡­ .]


    ¡°Hye-rim, that¡¯s¡­ ¡­ . Almost like stalking¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Anyway!]


    She was too far from her house to just say that she simply happened to come to the same cafe that was across Yoon-woo¡¯s dorm while looking for a quiet cafe.


    There were many more quiet cafes along the route than you think.


    Even if you go to the second floor of the star cafe in the middle building, there are still three weeks left until the midterm exam, and in the evening, it is relatively quiet and there are relatively few people.


    Hye-rim must have had other intentions in the cafe across from Yoon-woo¡¯s dorm.


    Somehow, she thought that Hye-rim was too docile to accept that Yoon-woo and Ji-eun were drinking together.


    Her spine trembled at the thought of Hye-rim sitting in the cafe and watching over the glass wall when the lights in Yoon-woo¡¯s bedroom were turned on.


    But on the other hand, she also felt sad when she thought of Hye-rim, who had waited for Yoon-woo for when he reached home.


    But there were also some odd things. If that¡¯s the case, she can just say she¡¯ll drink with us.


    It was possible enough, so why bother?


    [Anyway¡­ ¡­ . Hey. Perhaps¡­ ¡­ . Does unnie like Yoon-woo too?]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [It¡¯s okay to admit it, unnie. I¡¯m not mad at you. ]


    ¡°Huh? Really?¡±


    [Yeah, well, even if you like him, what can I do about it? It¡¯s not like I can control people¡¯s hearts. Yoon-woo is such an attractive person¡­ ¡­ . Even if Yoon-woo likes you, I can¡¯t do anything about it¡­ ¡­]


    ¡°You¡­ ¡­ . Do you really think so?¡±


    [¡­¡­ Still, unnie. You can¡¯t do a Foul play]


    ¡°Foul?¡±


    [For example, making Yoon-woo drink alcohol and taking him home after he is not in his right mind like today, or what did you do while he sleeps?]


    ¡°Hey, uh, uh, huh, of course, ¡­ ¡­ . I didn¡¯t. I didn¡¯t use force to drag him here. Nothing really happened. This situation just happened¡­¡­somehow¡­like that ¡­ .¡±


    Hye-rim spoke as if she had seen what Ji-eun was about to do, Ji-eun looked around her, thinking that Hye-rim might be hiding in this house.


    Seriously, if she knows about this whole situation, there is no way she would have stayed still. Did she install a camera here? No, maybe¡­.


    [So, you¡¯re not lying to me now? Like you did before?]


    ¡°No, of course not. I¡¯m sorry I lied to you earlier¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [You promise? Can I trust you?]


    ¡°Huh. of course¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Then I will trust you and sleep. I¡¯ll believe you because unnie said that she won¡¯t do anything. You know I always trust you, right?]


    ¡°Well, I know¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Then I¡¯ll come to your place early tomorrow morning. Sleep well, unnie.]


    ¡°Okay¡­ ¡­ . You too, Hye-rim, sleep well.¡±


    And like this, Ji-eun was finally able to end the phone call with Hye-rim.


    ¡®It¡¯s scary¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    The high that Ji-eun was enjoying, all of it seemed to have been drained after dealing with Hye-rim.


    Hye-rim also knows her password to her door lock.


    You¡¯re coming to my house early in the morning, what time do you want to come? Are you doing this to check if something¡¯s wrong with Yoon-woo?


    Are you saying don¡¯t do something silly because she can come over anytime she wants to? She said she believes in me? Really?


    Even if Ji-eun is dating Yoon-woo, will she just accept it? The one who waited outside Yoon-woo¡¯s house for 4 hours?


    I don¡¯t think so.


    It was the first time that Ji-eun had heard Hye-rim speak with such a cold and scary voice.


    Ji-eun returned to her room, but Hye-rim¡¯s cold voice saying that she shouldn¡¯t be fouled reverberated, and she couldn¡¯t have the courage to continue what she had been doing before.


    Meanwhile, Yoon-woo was asleep in the same position as before.


    ¡®Is this bastard dead?¡¯


    When I put my palm on Yoon-woo¡¯s face, I could feel him breathing.


    I don¡¯t think he¡¯s dead. How can a person sleep in one position only?


    It was Ji-eun who had such a question.


    In fact, Yoon-woo¡¯s bed in his bedroom was too small for Yoon-woo¡¯s size, so if he didn¡¯t put his arms and legs together like that, his body would stick out of the bed.


    He would fall out of bed if he tossed and turned, so he had a habit of sleeping in such a rigid position as if he were dead.


    It was one of the reasons for Yoon-woo¡¯s poor sleep quality.


    Ji-eun looked at Yoon-woo for a long time¡­ ¡­. and just lay down next to Yoon-woo.


    ¡®It isn¡¯t foul, right?¡¯


    Even if I go to an empty room, men and women use separate rooms whenever possible, but people who drink a lot do not care about such things, so they just lie on the floor and fall asleep.


    Usually men do this a lot, but there are also cases where women do it because they are excited to drink.


    The distance between a man and a woman sleeping on the floor in an empty room, or between Yoon-woo and Ji-eun on the bed now is the same, isn¡¯t it?


    ¡®Do I really need to give justification to sleep on the same bed? It¡¯s just like sleeping on the floor. Yes, just sleeping at a reasonable distance on a smooth, soft floor. Why do I have to sleep on the sofa when there is such a spacious and nice bed? Both of us can sleep comfortably, and it is also not good for one person to sleep in an uncomfortable place.¡¯


    Ji-eun diligently justified her act of trying to sleep in the same bed with Yoon-woo.


    In her mind, this was a measure to resolve the confusion caused by the collision of impulse and guilt toward Hye-rim.


    The fact that there was a bit of closeness was the effect of drinking two bottles of soju and three glasses of vodka in a row.


    ¡®Of course, the distance may get a little closer because I roll while I¡¯m sleeping¡­ ¡­ . That¡¯s something that can happen even if you sleep on the floor¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    But as I thought of such excuses in my mind, other desires and impulses began to mix with it.


    ¡®If I¡¯m going to fall asleep next to Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­ . Can¡¯t I just do it right now? When Hye-rim comes up in the morning and says something, can I just say that it is my sleeping habit, right?¡¯


    Ji-eun usually sleeps hugging a pillow, but Yoon-woo is sleeping on that pillow now.


    So¡­ ¡­ If she habitually moves in search of a pillow while sleeping, she may end up next to Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­ .


    That seems like a pretty reasonable excuse.


    There was no reason for her to stay still, thinking about it.


    Ji-eun slowly moved to the side of Yoon-woo, came to a place where Yun-woo and her skin could touch, and laid down.


    She could hear Yoon-woo¡¯s soft breathing sounds as he slept.


    When Ji-eun, who is of small stature, lay alone in this spacious bed, the remaining space in her bed would be empty, and her loneliness would come over.


    She said that on the day Hye-rim came to her house, she would go to sleep in the same bed, but after she said that, she was afraid that she would look like a child to her, so she couldn¡¯t.


    Being alone in this spacious house, sleeping alone in this spacious bed is so lonely.


    That¡¯s why Ji-eun always hugged her pillow and curled up.


    Maybe that¡¯s why, as she lay in her bed with Yoon-woo and listened to his breathing, she remembered her childhood and her mother, who sang her favorite cartoon theme song by her side until she fell asleep.


    ¡®?What is this fluttering heart~ I can¡¯t sleep for some reason?¡¯


    If a monster suddenly pops out of the closet, will her mom fight and win? Should she run away together with her?


    When she thought about it, she would fall asleep before she knew it.


    She felt relieved that she had someone to face her fears with, whether overcoming the monster or dangerous things. ¡­ .


    But compared to that time, she felt that she was missing something now.


    Because her mother was a woman and Yoon-woo is a man? I don¡¯t think that¡¯s it¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡®Oh right.¡¯


    ¡°Hey, put your arms down.¡±


    Yoon-woo, who fell asleep with his hands neatly placed on his stomach and interlaced, Ji-eun wanted to lower Yoon-woo¡¯s arms on the bed.


    Come to think of it, her mother seems to have given her arm pillows to her when she was young.


    In Ji-eun¡¯s mind, her memories and the thought that she had to keep the line that could make her excuses to Hye-rim came and went.


    When she tried to loosen Yoon-woo¡¯s finger, which was held interlocked, he mumbled incoherently, ¡®Ugh¡­ ¡­ Huh?¡¯ After making a low moan, he released his fingers on his own, lowered his arms from his stomach, and came to an alert posture.


    Fortunately, he didn¡¯t wake up.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s arm was rather thin for a man, but his muscles were firm in many places, and Ji-eun¡¯s head was smaller than others, so Yoon-woo¡¯s arm was not uncomfortable for Ji-eun to put her head.


    And his upper arm was wide and sturdy, so it was easy to put her head.


    Ji-eun, who was relieved by the comfort of a person¡¯s body temperature and body odor, and the regular heartbeat from Yoon-woo¡¯s chest, quickly fell asleep.


    Digging into Yoon-woo¡¯s side, she put her head on Yoon-woo¡¯s chest and hugged his arm tightly¡­ ¡­ .


    Even while Ji-eun was moving around so much, Yoon-woo did not get up. In fact, Yoon-woo was in a state of almost fainting due to excessive drinking.


    It would have happened sooner or later.


    This is because Yoon-woo has been dependent on drugs to sleep for quite a long time, and even now, without drugs, he cannot sleep deeply.


    It was after three or four hours that Yoon-woo woke up.


    Even though he was awake, he was so dizzy that he couldn¡¯t open his eyes, and strangely, one of his arms was tingling.


    And his throat was very dry from dehydration from drinking.


    I think something is holding my arm. What the hell is this?


    I wanted to check what it was, so I swung it with my other arm and felt warm body temperature and fluffy hair.


    Yoon-woo, who was not awake, remembered a post he had seen on the Internet a while ago.


    It was written that an unknown cat had entered the room and took a picture with a person.


    It could have been the same in his bedroom. I saw that there was a hole in the corner of the window screen and left it unattended and it may have sneaked in through there.


    Yoon-woo, who continued to think like that, had yet to come back to his senses to the extent that he had yet to realize that he was not lying in his own room.


    From a young age, Yoon-woo really liked cats.


    So, the day he was scolded and kicked out of the house, he would play with the street cats in the nearby alleys.


    But when he became an adult, he no longer had that opportunity.


    The cats near the school followed people well because the students often gave them snacks, but Yoon-woo couldn¡¯t get close to them because they were so popular with people that there were always several people taking pictures.


    So, he thought this was a great opportunity.


    I am thirsty, but that¡¯s for later. I want to touch the cat before it runs away.


    With that thought in mind, Yoon-woo moved his other hand to pet the cat, touching carefully not to let the cat run away.


    The warm body temperature, the smooth feeling, the soft, long hair that slid between his fingers pleasantly¡­ ¡­ .


    But something felt strange. When I was a kid, after touching a stray cat for a long time, my hands would be very oily and I would have to wash my hands hard with soap, but the fur was so soft and clean.


    An ominous thought came into Yoon-woo¡¯s mind.


    Come to think of it, all Korean stray cats are short-haired, but this hair is too long. Besides, I think the head is a bit big for a cat¡­ ¡­ .


    Is the Maine Coon out of the house? I heard that the world¡¯s largest Maine Coon cat is over 120cm tall. Is such a rare cat in my living room? No way¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡®No way¡­ ¡­ . Could it be? no way¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    With a trembling heart, Yoon-woo slowly and carefully moved the hand that had not yet been retrieved from the fur.


    The soft touch of Yoon-woo¡¯s hand, and the small, round, swirl-shaped place where the hair begins to be touched¡­ ¡­


    It was a shape that exists only on humans.


    ¡®¡­ ¡­ Is this human!?¡¯

 Chapter 24

    Yoon-woo slowly regained his awareness and noticed that the surroundings were different from usual.


    The bed he was lying on was not the usual hard and rough bed, but a very elastic and soft bed.


    But the strangest thing was that someone was sleeping on Yoon-woo¡¯s right arm.


    ¡®Where am I? Who is this person? Why can¡¯t I remember anything¡­ .? Oh my head hurts¡­ ¡­.¡¯


    I remember that the lamb skewers were delicious.


    I was amazed at the machine that automatically rotated and grills lamb skewers just by inserting them, and I remember that while eating meat, Ji-eun exclaimed how good soju was with the skewers.


    Seeing Ji-eun like that, Yoon-woo thought, ¡®This person can live happily with just alcohol.¡¯


    I had several thoughts. Is drinking so much fun?


    The impression Yoon-woo had about alcohol as a child was quite negative.


    In Saint-Exup¨¦ry¡¯s ¡®The Little Prince¡¯, there is a drunkard who drinks alcohol to forget his shame even though he is ashamed to drink.


    At first glance, it seems contradictory, but it seems like a story that fits reality sufficiently.


    Because Yoon-woo¡¯s father drank every time something bad happened to him, and he did something bad every time he drank.


    Cursing his mother, swearing at Yoon-woo, running out of the house and not coming back¡­ ¡­ .


    However, after entering university, Yoon-woo¡¯s impression of alcohol has changed 180 degrees.


    For college students, alcohol was a symbol of joy.


    I remember that one time I was drowsy after taking medicine, and I heard loud noises made by drunken college students outside the window.


    It was like they were trying to show off how much fun they had.


    In the beginning of the first semester, at 3 in the morning, in front of Yoon-woo¡¯s room, a few students shouted ¡®Ogenki Desuka! Choushi wa dou desu ka!¡¯. They were shouting after coming from a party.


    It was a famous line from a famous Japanese classic movie. ¡®How are you? Are you doing well?¡¯


    He really thought at that time that they were doing that to make fun of him.


    The voice that woke Yoon-woo from sleeping in his narrow bed where he can¡¯t even stretch his legs properly at dawn.


    He was not doing well.


    The uplifting voices of happy people felt like they were violently stabbing Yoon-woo.


    Why does Ji-eun like alcohol? Maybe it¡¯s because it¡¯s so popular?


    Ji-eun¡¯s cell phone vibrates non-stop when she is in Hye-rim¡¯s house.


    It means that there are many people looking for Ji-eun.


    The reason Ji-eun drinks alcohol often is because there are so many people who Ji-eun wants to meet, people she wants to talk to, and people she wants to be friends with.


    Because she is such a person, she has a lot of free space in her heart, and she wants to buy Yoon-woo a drink.


    After drinking alcohol, she won¡¯t hate others or use violence, right?


    In Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes, the little Ji-eun seemed too big.


    To Yoon-woo, alcohol was an unidentified poison that increased human violence and turned one into an animal. He was a real adult who lived happily without that thing.


    In front of Ji-eun who was drinking like that, Yoon-woo was ashamed of himself.


    Compared to Ji-eun, he wasn¡¯t even an adult.


    He doesn¡¯t get along well with people, he leans on someone he doesn¡¯t even know, and he¡¯s a coward who can¡¯t contact his senior first because he¡¯s afraid that he will be rejected.


    He is a young boy pretending to be a college student.


    He felt sad to see Ji-eun, an adult, constantly shouting ¡®Sweet~¡¯ and bumping her cup with his.


    I was nervous, so I didn¡¯t even feel the bitter taste of the drink.


    At first, I was going to drink with Ji-eun in moderation, and then go back, but strangely, the words that ¡®I would stop drinking¡¯ did not come out of my mouth as I was feeling anxious and ashamed of myself.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s last memory was that of a plate of dumplings being served as a service.


    Yoon-woo noticed that part of his memory was blank.


    It was a very disturbing and unpleasant experience.


    He was upset because he didn¡¯t know what he had done, and how he had ended up in this situation.


    He wanted to swallow his saliva, but his mouth was so dry that he couldn¡¯t.


    Fortunately, several bottles of water were placed under the night lamps besides the bed.


    Yoon-woo reached out and grabbed a bottle of water, careful not to alarm the person who was resting on his arm.


    He had a hard time opening the lid with one hand, but when he put the mouth of the plastic bottle in his mouth, the water kept pouring in and he drank about two-thirds of the bottle at once.


    As he drank the water, his spirit seemed to come back a bit.


    ¡°Emm¡­ ¡­. Why are you moving like that¡­ ¡­? Be still¡­ ¡­.¡±, said the person resting on his arm.


    Drowsiness and irritability dripped from her words.


    He must have moved his body a lot more than he thought because it was difficult to open the bottle of water with one hand.


    After saying that, the person hugged Yoon-woo¡¯s arm tighter and buried her face in his arm.


    Her hair brushed against Yoon-woo¡¯s arm and the breath that touched his wrists tickled.


    It was definitely a woman¡¯s voice¡­ ¡­.


    In an instant, a scene was created in Yoon-woo¡¯s head in which, behind the back door of his university there was a large billboard titled ¡®I condemn Lee Yoon-woo from the Economics Department xx!¡¯.


    He had been disciplined for being drunk and molesting a senior, but the punishment was too light and the higher-ups had decided to expel him.


    That would be a huge problem¡­ ¡­.


    If I commit suicide in this situation, no one will sympathize with me.


    I will only be pointed out as a molester who fled to death.


    Actually, I have no idea what exactly happened¡­ ¡­.


    Yoon-woo felt as if his scenario would turn out to be reality because of the blank memory in his head. The person sleeping next to Yoon-woo clung tighter to him.


    Strangely, Yoon-woo¡¯s life seems to continue and only flow in a direction which he couldn¡¯t even think of.


    In a direction that he can¡¯t even describe with words¡­ ¡­.


    Yoon-woo carefully lifted the blanket.


    She was wearing a t-shirt and sleeping pants that were oversized for her size, and she was too small, even after considering that she was curled up.


    In that case, it was highly probable that this person was Ji-eun.


    So, is this Ji-eun¡¯s room?


    On the day of watching the movie, even when he came to Ji-eun¡¯s house, he did not enter her room.


    The end of a drinking party based on goodwill, which settles debts in each other¡¯s hearts has been shattered.


    What Yoon-woo should do now is to get rid of Ji-eun as soon as possible and apologize to her diligently.


    But in order to do that, he inevitably had to wake her up.


    ¡°Noona, noona¡­ ¡­? Ji-eun noona, are you okay? Hey, why don¡¯t you get up for a second?¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­. Um¡­ ¡­. Why¡­ ¡­?¡±


    Just like before, Ji-eun¡¯s tone was full of irritation.


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­. I¡¯m sorry, I can¡¯t remember why I¡¯m so close to you, shouldn¡¯t we be apart for a while?¡±


    ¡°Why¡­ ¡­? Want to go to the bathroom? Come quickly¡­ ¡­. I¡¯m sleepy, so¡­.¡±


    ¡°Oh, not that¡­ ¡­.¡±


    ¡°What is then? Why are you waking me up?¡±


    ¡°Noona ¡­ ¡­ Maybe it¡¯s because you¡¯re drunk, but you¡¯re sleeping too close to me right now.¡±


    ¡°Why? No? Don¡¯t you like me sleeping while clinging to your arms?¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not that I don¡¯t like it¡­ ¡­.¡±


    ¡°Then what the hell is the problem?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­?¡±


    Did Ji-eun drink so much that she went insane?


    Yoon-woo was at a loss for words because it was so different from the conversation he had expected.


    ¡®Why am I sleeping like this? Get up!¡¯


    ¡®What did you do to me? ¡®


    Yoon-woo thought that such a conversation would continue.


    ¡°That¡­ ¡­. If you keep sleeping like this, noona will be uncomfortable. ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Ha¡­ ¡­ It¡¯s not like that. Actually, it¡¯s the other way round¡­ ¡­ . Oh, is your arm numb? Shall we go with the other arm?¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s okay. It doesn¡¯t matter.¡±


    ¡°Then, what¡¯s the problem?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think I even took a shower and I thought noona would be offended if I was like this¡­.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­. Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Why are you waking me up like that¡­ ¡­. It¡¯s okay, so go to sleep¡­ ¡­.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­. Still, I¡¯m a male too, so after drinking¡­ ¡­.¡±


    ¡°Today, I think of you as a pillow, not a man. Does a pillow wake up a sleeping person?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Alright.¡±


    ¡°Then don¡¯t wake me up now. If you wake me up again, I¡¯ll bite your arm. Good night.¡±


    ¡°Yes¡­ ¡­. Good night.¡±


    ¡®What is this¡­ Not as a male¡­. But as a pillow? Pillow¡­¡¯


    Hearing that, Yoon-woo didn¡¯t feel bad.


    For Yoon-woo, he didn¡¯t obsess or care about the inanimate objects such as chairs and desks even if they are good or bad unlike other people who are picky about them.


    There are cases where he pretends to care, but isn¡¯t that also a case he has to involve with people?


    Besides, a pillow is an object with a fairly positive image.


    Ji-eun is actually using Yoon-woo as a pillow right now, so it¡¯s not uncomfortable.


    Although Ji-eun seemed reluctant to respond to Yoon-woo, she gave Yoon-woo, who does not speak, the value of a pillow.


    From all the evaluations Yoon-woo has received in his life, isn¡¯t this quite generous?


    It could be that because Ji-eun is drunk she did not care much about him, or about the fact that he hadn¡¯t showered. Whatever it is, Yoon-woo decided to live up to Ji-eun¡¯s expectations as much as possible.


    ¡®Pillow, I am a pillow that cannot speak and cannot move¡­ ¡­.¡¯


    Mumbling like that inside, Yoon-woo also fell asleep in the end.


    A few more hours passed like that, and Yoon-woo, who could not sleep well, woke up earlier, but could not get up.


    Because Ji-eun was still in a deep sleep.


    Now even Ji-eun¡¯s legs were on top of Yoon-woo¡¯s body.


    The part of her arm where Ji-eun¡¯s breath touched was damp.


    Yoon-woo still had a headache and was dizzy, so he quietly closed his eyes.


    But after a while, I heard the sound of someone pressing the door lock password.


    As if this house was familiar, I could hear the person putting her shoes in the shoe closet.


    A thief cannot put her shoes in a shoe closet.


    Then maybe that person is Ji-eun¡¯s family or friend?


    But whoever it is, Ji-eun and Yoon-woo shouldn¡¯t be seen like this.


    It will be very difficult for Ji-eun.


    So, Yoon-woo gently shook Ji-eun¡¯s body and tried to wake her up.


    ¡°Noona, noona, wake up, someone is here.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­. You, don¡¯t wake me up¡­ ¡­.¡±


    ¡°No, if someone sees us, noona¡­ ¡­ Ouch!¡±


    ¡®Are you really going to bite? ¡­ .¡¯


    Ji-eun nervously bit Yoon-woo¡¯s arm, and soon fell asleep again.


    Someone who entered the house seemed to be making something in the kitchen without entering the room.


    I could hear the sound of knives on the cutting board and the sound of boiling water in the pot.


    I don¡¯t know what it is, but when the dishes are done, and when the boiling stops, won¡¯t that person open the door?


    Guess I¡¯ll have to wake up Ji-eun soon¡­ ¡­


    However, contrary to Yoon-woo¡¯s thoughts, the door swung open even while the sound of boiling water was still heard from the pot.


    Yoon-woo supported Ji-eun¡¯s body with the other arm that Ji-eun was not hanging on, and barely raised his upper body to look at the door.


    And when the person opened the door¡­.


    ¡°Hye¡­ ¡­ Hye-rim.¡±


    ¡°Are you two showing affection? Hugging and sleeping together¡­ ¡­. Did you two finally decide to date? How long has it been since you two met¡­?¡±


    It was scary. Her voice was cold and sharp, like when Bunny talked about her father.


    However, unlike Bunny, who could only be heard, Hye-rim had a cold expression with which she looked at Yoon-woo with a fierce gaze and Yoon-woo was scared.


    The sentiment was understandable. Ji-eun, who is her best friend and unnie, is sleeping with Yoon-woo, the friend she just made a few days after all.


    ¡°We¡¯re not dating¡­ ¡­. absolutely not. This is just¡­ ¡­.¡±


    ¡°Just what?¡±


    Maybe it was because he drank a lot, and his throat was dry even though he drank water and slept.


    So, while he was speaking, his throat was blocked sometimes, making it difficult for him to speak clearly.


    He was afraid to drink water at this time, and Hye-rim was eager for him to answer, so he quickly continued his words.


    ¡°That is¡­ ¡­. just¡­ ¡­. Because my noona wanted to use me as a pillow¡­ ¡­.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Does it make sense?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s true¡­ ¡­.¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo, why would you give me such a nonsensical excuse¡­ ¡­.? Why did you hide from me that you¡¯re dating unnie? Do you think I will do anything?¡±


    In fact, even Yoon-woo thought it was a strange situation.


    He won¡¯t believe it if he is like her, too.


    In order to protect Ji-eun¡¯s honor, he would have to be good at making excuses, but he couldn¡¯t explain enough because he didn¡¯t know why Hye-rim was doing this.


    He would have liked it if Ji-eun talked directly to Hye-rim, but she was sleeping soundly even in this situation.


    ¡°Hye-rim, hey, I know this sounds weird, but we¡¯re not dating. And, it¡¯s not going to happen in the future.¡±


    She is Ji-eun and she never asked him to go out with her, and as for the latter, it makes perfect sense as it will never happen.


    ¡°It¡¯s not going to happen? Then, Yoon-woo, how are you in noona¡¯s bed?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­. Actually, I don¡¯t even remember anything¡­ ¡­. When I came to my senses, I was like this, so I don¡¯t know what happened¡­ ¡­. Also, Ji-eun noona doesn¡¯t see me as a man, she just thinks of me as a pillow, so it¡¯s okay. Don¡¯t wake her up. ¡±


    Before Yoon-woo could finish speaking, Hye-rim approached Ji-eun and started shaking her to wake her up.


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ unnie. Unnie! Ji-eun unnie! Get up now!¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­. How many times have I told you not to wake me up.¡­. OMG! Hye-rim-ah!?¡±


    As soon as she saw Hye-rim, Ji-eun jumped up and got her body up like a cat that saw a snake.


    ¡°No, that, that, that, you know. Hye, Hye-rim, this isn¡¯t it, it¡¯s not like.¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll listen, so speak calmly, unnie.¡±


    For some reason, Ji-eun seemed to be more scared of Hye-rim than Yoon-woo.


    Yoon-woo thought it was something else that was caused because of something he did, so he thought he should help Ji-eun not be unfairly scolded by Hye-rim, but¡­ ¡­.


    I couldn¡¯t help because I didn¡¯t really know what was going on.


    When he was young, when his mother and father were arguing, it was best for Yoon-woo to just shut his mouth and hide himself in an inconspicuous place.


    This was because if he wandered in front of the two for no reason, the fight between the two of them would get more intense because of him, and he would be either kicked out or beaten.


    I thought it was still the same. But he had nowhere to hide, so he decided to shut up.


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ ¡­. After hanging up with you yesterday¡­ ¡­.¡±


    ¡°By the way, was what you said on the phone call true? Or you were lying then too?¡±


    ¡°Ugh, of course not¡­ ¡­. And after that, nothing happened. Really¡­ ¡­.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing, so why have you been hugging Yoon-woo so tightly? Unnie, are you okay? To be honest, what do you think I will do if you two are dating?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not like that¡­ ¡­. And nothing happened, ok? As soon as I hung up the phone, I started drinking ¡­ ¡­I thought about why I was sleeping on the sofa with the wide bed, so I just rolled over on the bed while sleeping next to Yoon-woo. Really¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°You roll over in your sleep and hug and sleep with him like that? Even use his arm as pillows? Does that make sense?!¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­. When I sleep, I usually hug a pillow, but I gave it to Yoon-woo to sleep on it yesterday. I thought I was feeling a bit empty when I was sleeping. So, I tossed and turned and hugged Yoon-woo¡¯s arm, but as I slept, I started to stick¡­ ¡­. I didn¡¯t even know I was sleeping with my legs on¡­ ¡±


    ¡°Really? Didn¡¯t you two just go to sleep after being exhausted?¡±


    ¡°Crazy, what the heck¡­ ¡­. What are you saying? Look! Yoon-woo and I are wearing tops and bottoms tightly!¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Then, what about you, Yoon-woo? Yoon-woo, you¡¯re not even dating her, so why would you let her use your arm as a pillow?¡±


    Even though he was doing his best, the arrow returned to Yoon-woo.


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ What¡­?¡±


    ¡°Really? Yoon-woo, letting someone sleep with your arm as a pillow means nothing to you?¡±


    ¡°Yes, it¡¯s nothing.¡±


    Really, what is it worth?


    Even the same action done by two different people has completely different values ??from person to person.


    The situation in which a celebrity holding a free hug sign is completely different from the situation in which a 130 kg middle-aged man holding a free hug sign, who smells bad after not washing for a few days, is completely different.


    In the latter situation, people will complain, or even the police may come, depending on the location.


    ¡°Then, Yoon-woo, would you do it if I asked that for myself?¡±


    ¡°Uh, huh?! What are you saying Hye-rim?¡±


    ¡°Are you going to do it?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­. Why?¡±


    ¡°Why, what why? Will you do it or not?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Okay? Then give me your arm, so I can lie down too.¡±


    ¡°Uh? Now?Really?¡±


    ¡°Why? Didn¡¯t you say yes? You can give your arm to Unnie to sleep on but not me?¡±


    He felt it when he went to the cinema and when he left Hye-rim to pay for his food, that Hye-rim never stops interrogating him until he comes up with a really valid answer, and until even a small question is completely resolved.


    ¡°Well, I slept without showering yesterday, and my body smells like alcohol¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Ji-eun unnie had the same conditions, didn¡¯t she?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not that I didn¡¯t do it, but I didn¡¯t know anything about arriving at Ji-eun noona¡¯s room¡­ ¡­ . If I knew, wouldn¡¯t I have showered?¡±


    ¡°Right! Yoon-woo was sleeping, and he almost fell on the street, but I forced him to come into the house and make him sleep!¡±


    Yoon-woo was grateful to Ji-eun for helping him.


    To be honest, Hye-rim¡¯s request was too burdensome.


    Even if the king wanted something delicious, would he feel comfortable for the lower class to hand him over the scorched rice instead of gourd?


    It won¡¯t go down his throat because it¡¯s dirty.


    In fact, he would have thought the same if he was Hye-rim, but in the case of Hye-rim, there was no room for Yoon-woo¡¯s intention to intervene.


    ¡°Okay? Then, whether Yoon-woo sleeps or rests, lie down and take care of yourself. Because I will forcefully hold you and make you my arm pillow whenever you lay down.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ that¡¯s a bit¡­ ¡­.¡±


    Yoon-woo was speechless.


    Is it compulsion if you do the act that you promised to do by force?


    Isn¡¯t that just a clever pun? Meanwhile, Ji-eun intervened.


    ¡°Hye-rim¡­ ¡­. Anyway, now you know that we two didn¡¯t have anything going on, right? It¡¯s not like we¡¯re dating¡­ ¡­.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Are you two really not dating?¡±


    ¡°No, we are just friends. We are just close seniors and juniors.¡±


    Last night it was a pillow, but within a few hours, he was promoted to a friend.


    Do you really think they are friends? What is a friend?


    Is Ji-eun the kind of person who just mixes words and calls anyone friends?


    Even if that were the case, Yoon-woo met someone who called him a friend after a long time.


    It really was a few years ago.


    ¡°Okay. I got it. When I think about it a bit calmly. ¡­ . None of your clothes are ruffled, and when I entered, there was nothing in your room¡¯s trash can, and looking at Yoon-woo¡¯s attitude, it doesn¡¯t seem like that.¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t it getting better now¡­ ¡­? Anyway, I¡¯m glad you trusted me.¡±


    The conflict between Ji-eun and Hye-rim seemed to have been resolved.


    ¡°But that¡¯s it, Yoon-woo, why don¡¯t you give me your arm to sleep on? Why are you only doing this to unnie! Why are you discriminating against people?!¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ ?¡±


    If the fight with Ji-eun is over, isn¡¯t it right that this story should end together?


    ¡°(Yoon-woo, there¡¯s no end to that, so just say you¡¯ll do it later.)¡±


    Ji-eun whispered. But Hye-rim had better ears than Ji-eun thought.


    ¡°Yeah, I promise there will be no end to this.¡±


    ¡°Hey¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ . okay. I will.¡±


    What if there is no end?


    Hye-rim is not angry right now.


    Seeing Ji-eun and Yoon-woo lying down, she got angry and said whatever that came to her mind.


    I¡¯m sure she¡¯ll forget about this as time goes by. This thought made me feel better¡­ ¡­.


    ¡°Yesterday, Ji-eun unnie hung up the phone at 10:30 pm and I came at 7:30¡­ ¡­ About 9 hours. It¡¯s 9 hours, okay? You can¡¯t object to it later okay?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ ? Emm¡­ ¡­ . Why¡­ ¡­ ¡±

 Chapter 25

    ================================


    After Ji-eun and Yoon-woo washed their faces in turn, white rice, bugeoguk soup with bean sprouts, and fried egg were laid out on the table.


    Tl/n:[ bugeoguk: dried pollack soup ]


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry for getting angry, eat this and satiate your hunger.¡±


    Nobody could tell Hye-rim was angry just a moment ago by the way she said this.


    Yoon-woo and Ji-eun thanked Hye-rim for preparing breakfast and sat down at the table.


    The bean sprouts soup that Hye-rim cooked tasted completely different from the bean sprouts soup that Yoon-woo used to cook alone at home when he was in high school.


    As the food, which was a little spicy, entered my stomach, the headache and dizziness seemed to subside a little.


    While eating breakfast, the three of them repeatedly apologised to each other.


    Hye-rim apologized for getting angry, and Ji-eun apologized for sleeping on Yoon-woo¡¯s arm.


    And Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­ .


    Yoon-woo was very shy and guilty, and he did not know how to say an apology, so he was at a loss of words.


    He must have done something wrong. But, he had no memory of what he did wrong.


    He owed the breakfast he¡¯s eating now, but he couldn¡¯t figure out how much he owed to whom.


    It was said that the value of the handwritten notes Yoon-woo handed over to Ji-eun was between 30,000 won to 50,000 won.


    Still, Yoon-woo owes 15 thousand won to Ji-eun, so if he ate food which costs in the range of 15k to 35k won after offsetting it, that will increase his debt rather than settling.


    But I couldn¡¯t remember anything. I didn¡¯t even know how I got out of the lamb skewer house.


    He even slept in Ji-eun¡¯s bed.


    He wouldn¡¯t have come here for no reason.


    There must have been something wrong with him¡­ ¡­ . If so, maybe he has to calculate the cost of accommodation as well?


    After eating bean sprout soup, he felt a little more comfortable, but the more he regained his senses, the more he felt the mental discomfort. .


    Yoon-woo bowed his head in a sense of humiliation, and repeated the foolish words that he was sorry because he couldn¡¯t remember.


    But Ji-eun said, ¡®Yoon-woo did nothing wrong, it¡¯s okay. I didn¡¯t pay any attention either.¡¯ Ji-eun continued to console Yoon-woo like that.


    If I haven¡¯t done anything wrong, why did I sleep on the bed of noona rather than being at my house?


    Even when he carefully asked Ji-eun what he did, she said,¡®You didn¡¯t do anything.


    You were just taking a walk after getting drunk, and then somehow ended up sleeping at my house.¡¯


    I wanted to know what the hell was that ¡®somehow¡¯, and for him, who had not slept in someone else¡¯s house for 20 years even once ended up sleeping at noona¡¯s house was a big deal, but Ji-eun didn¡¯t answer any more.


    When Yoon-woo tried to bring up anything about last night, she blatantly turned around and didn¡¯t give a clear answer.


    Could it be that she was embarrassed to even put it in words?


    Maybe I said something that shouldn¡¯t be said or did that shouldn¡¯t be done?


    No matter how much he thought about it, he couldn¡¯t remember; rather , it only intensified his headache.


    Yoon-woo wanted to disappear from Ji-eun and Hye-rim¡¯s sight.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, the truth is¡­ ¡­ . I drank yesterday and made a lot of mistakes.So,.. ¡­ . I¡¯m sorry, can I buy you some hangover soup for lunch? Go eat with Hye-rim.¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s okay. I drank so much alcohol that I cannot eat anything now, and I was a nuisance to noona¡­ ¡­ . for sleeping here¡­ ¡­ . Besides, I even ate breakfast¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°How many times do I have to say that nothing was your fault? You said you were going home but I insisted you sleep here.¡±


    ¡°I said I was going home and noona brought me here? That is a bit different from what I heard.¡±


    ¡°Uh?! uh¡­ ¡­ . That¡¯s a bit complicated. I¡¯ll tell you later.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, tell me later.¡±


    Seeing that she didn¡¯t want to say it now, it seems that she had no intention of telling him. Yoon-woo was not in a position to keep on asking questions, so he was planning to go home quickly after tidying up.


    It was Hye-rim who made breakfast, and that food was only for Ji-eun, so I wanted to at least take responsibility for cleaning up and do it alone, but Hye-rim and Ji-eun didn¡¯t let me do that.


    It was only a few plates, so I was able to wash quickly by myself.


    After washing the dishes, Yoon-woo took his belongings and tried to leave Ji-eun¡¯s house. Ji-eun was bored, so she told him to go watch a movie in the living room, but Yoon-woo was dizzy, so he replied that he would go home and rest up.


    Even when Hye-rim said that she would come along with him,as they have to take the same road, he replied that he would walk because he couldn¡¯t take the bus due to the dizziness.


    But refusing Hye-rim¡¯s words was more difficult than refusing Ji-eun¡¯s words.


    Then, when Hye-rim said that she would walk with him, he had no excuse to say no to.


    He wants to stay away from Hye-rim right now so why would she want to walk with him?


    In fact, Yoon-woo wanted to check his cell phone as soon as possible.


    For that to happen, no one has to be around him.


    Whether or not he received a call, it seemed that his relief or disappointment would definitely feel strange to the person next to him.


    I couldn¡¯t contact Bunny because he collapsed after drinking last night. Did Bunny contact Yoon-woo?


    With the desire to check his cell phone, the unwillingness to look at his cell phone coexisted.


    He¡¯s lucky if Bunny contacted him, but if she didn¡¯t¡­ ¡­ .


    Bad thoughts result in bad things happening.


    Although Yoon-woo always feels subdued, if everything between him and Bunny was normal, he would have asked Ji-eun to stop drinking and left early.


    He was ashamed of himself because he was still like a child, and was anxious that he would not be contacted by Bunny, so he could not stop drinking.


    He thought that if he drank a little more, the alcohol would swallow up his shyness and anxiety, but the alcohol devoured not only his anxiety but everything about him.


    As I wandered around the open chat rooms of people with mental problems, I wondered why people drink when the doctors say they shouldn¡¯t, but now I know why.


    It seemed as if people drank too much to get rid of their mental pain, but the things that happened after drinking caused them more pain.


    How can they relieve the painful things caused by it so easily? Yoon-woo in that state was likely to do something similar to those people right away if he went home and had one more drink last night after drinking with Ji-eun.


    Or, in that state of mind last night, I thought that if I had gone to my house instead of Ji-eun¡¯s, I might have taken medicine right away. So, I was rest assured about that. But, who knew, it would turn out like that.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, I¡¯m sorry I got angry earlier. When I found you lying that you had 1st class¡­ ¡­ . At that time you promised me not to lie, and yet I thought you were lying to me again, so I suddenly got angry.. but ¡­ . you didn¡¯t lie¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s reasonable to be angry. After all, Ji-eun noona and I were in the same bed¡­ ¡­ . but it was only just an accident. I¡¯m really sorry. I also drank and I don¡¯t know what I did.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­ . it¡¯s ok. I need to fix this temper, but once my anger reaches a certain degree, I can¡¯t see anything clearly¡­ ¡­ . I don¡¯t listen properly¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯m so embarrassed. I¡¯m not gonna do that anymore.¡±


    On the way back with Hye-rim, they once again apologized to each other. But actually, Hye-rim is a person who doesn¡¯t need to apologize.


    The feelings of a chosen one like Hye-rim is respected by many people, regardless of the person¡¯s faults, whether it is justified or not.


    She was just angry at this situation. Even if she was wrong, many people would have sympathized with her and supported her.


    How many people in the world are free to get angry just because they are angry?


    When Yoon-woo was in his fourth year of elementary school, he had never been angry with anyone.


    Even when Yoon-woo was in the classroom and the children gathered in the middle of the classroom were talking about him loudly, Yoon-woo remained silent.


    Even if Yoon-woo had gotten angry then, it would¡¯ve meant nothing.


    The world always seems to be divided into a set called Yoon-woo and a set of people other than Yoon-woo.


    People in groups are cruel. Yoon-woo¡¯s anger or his feelings are nothing but a ridicule to them.


    ¡®Hye-rim, you don¡¯t know that kind of life.¡¯


    Once again, Hye-rim feels far away. If Ji-eun and Hye-rim are caught up in their frantic chatter, even if they focus only on following their conversation, they will be too busy to think of anything else and will quickly forget about his existence.


    When he and Hye-rim are together, he realizes they lead completely different lives.


    So much so that I don¡¯t even feel envious.


    ¡°Then, Yoon-woo, will you come to my house later in the evening?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry Hye-rim, I¡¯m not feeling well today, so I¡¯ll just rest at home.¡±


    ¡°Then what about eating rice? If you don¡¯t eat anything, you will be in your drunken state.¡±


    ¡°I just ate the breakfast you made for me. I ate well. And if I¡¯m hungry, I¡¯ll just buy something from the convenience store. I¡¯ve got some money right now¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Then, take good care of yourself. Shall I see you for lunch tomorrow?¡±


    ¡°Okay. Thank you for today. See you tomorrow.¡±


    After greeting Hye-rim at the intersection of Anam Station, Yoon-woo walked down the road beside the building and headed for his own room.


    He¡¯s been out since Friday¡¯s first class, so he¡¯s been away for over 24 hours.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s bedroom, where the room heater hadn¡¯t been turned on for a day, was chilly.


    Yoon-woo turned on the heater, fell on the bed, and finally checked his cell phone.


    Did I get a call from Bunny?


    When he turned on his phone screen, he saw an unread message¡­ ¡­ . I opened the KakaoTalk app with anticipation, but it was a message from Hye-rim last night.


    There was no message from Bunny.


    It seems that Yoon-woo is deliberately trying to look pessimistically at everything. But reality always goes as badly as he thought, or worse than that.


    Bunny did not contact Yoon-woo last night.


    I¡¯m tired. Moving and dealing with your emotions is also a lot of work.


    Thinking about different emotions like anxiety and sadness and to live with those emotions in the future made me tired.


    After eating bean sprout soup, getting some air and walking for a bit, he thought he was all right, but when he checked his cell phone he was dizzy again, had a headache, had a stomach ache, and was nauseous.


    Unable to stop nausea, Yoon-woo ran into the bathroom and put his finger in his throat.


    He bowed his back to the toilet and vomited for a long time.


    The delicious taste of the cool bean sprout soup disappeared from the mouth, leaving only the sour and bitter taste of the refluxed gastric juice.


    The nausea didn¡¯t stop, but when there was nothing left to fall over, Yoon-woo rinsed his mouth and cleaned the toilet.


    Then, fearing that the bathroom would leave a stench on the glass partition, he vigorously sprayed the cleaner and cleaned it.


    The smell of cleaner spread throughout the room made Yoon-woo more dizzy.


    Yoon-woo, who came out of the bathroom, drank water and took the sleeping pills impulsively.


    He was supposed to take them last night anyway, but he thought that there would be no problem if he took them now.


    The happiest time of the day for Yoon-woo is when he sleeps.


    A time when I can¡¯t think of anything, and a time that I can¡¯t even feel that I exist in this world.


    It is 11 AM now, so if he falls asleep taking the pills and wakes up in the evening, he¡¯ll have to take the pills again that time.


    That way he will be able to sleep for close to a full day.


    It would be icing on the cake if a serial killer or robber came in while I was sleeping and just killed me.


    He didn¡¯t even know that he was unconsciously wishing for quick death.


    After thinking for a while, a comfortable drowsiness took over him.. ¡­ .


    However, in Yoon-woo¡¯s empty room, there is nothing a robber would covet, so he should expect a serial killer.


    Yoon-woo, who fell asleep like that, did not wake up even after the sun went down.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s cell phone, which he had left on the desk, vibrated loudly, then went silent.


    The room was dark because he hadn¡¯t turned on the light since he slept in the morning.


    Yoon-woo, who was drunk with medicine, checked the time, and it was night. So, he took another sleeping pill and reached out to his desk to go back to sleep.


    Being able to grab the contents on the desk easily while laying down is one of the few advantages of this cramped dorm room.


    But as he stretched out his hand, he suddenly realized something.


    Didn¡¯t the phone just vibrate more than three times?


    The only application that sends notifications like that is the voice chat application among the applications installed on Yoon-woo¡¯s cell phone¡­ ¡­ .


    There is only one person Yoon-woo contacts through the app.


    Yoon-woo, who had gone crazy with his thoughts up to that point, turned on the app in a hurry.


    ¡°Hello? Are you Bunny? You¡¯re Bunny, right?¡±


    [Yes, I am. Why are you sounding so desperate?]


    ¡°I¡­ ¡­ I thought Bunny wouldn¡¯t call me back¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [I said I will.]


    ¡°Yes you did¡­ ¡­ . Thank God.¡±


    [Tofu, you didn¡¯t contact me yesterday because you were playing with a pretty and cute senior, right? I didn¡¯t even contact you because I thought it would interrupt your fun for nothing.]


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ . I lost my mind while drinking¡­ ¡­ . When I woke up, it was morning.¡±


    [Did you stay out? With that senior?]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ .Somehow.¡±


    [ ¡­ .]


    ¡°Still, nothing happened. I lost consciousness later.. ¡­ . And, I¡¯m not the type of person who can¡¯t control my sex drive after drinking, really. Rather, as a side effect of taking antidepressant drugs for a long time, sexual desire continues to decrease¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Bunny said that she hates people who are crazy about sex.


    Yoon-woo was afraid that Bunny would think of him as such a person.


    [¡­¡­ I believe you, so you don¡¯t have to tell me anything like that, Tofu¡­ ¡­ . It¡¯s too much information. ]


    ¡°Huh¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    [By the way, was it fun? Drinking with that senior¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°Uh? What¡­ ¡­ . The lamb skewers were delicious, and it¡¯s amazing how the machine works¡­ ¡­ . But I drank too much¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [ Because it was fun to be with that senior, you drank that much, right? Until you lost control of yourself. ]


    ¡°More than that, I just drank because I was anxious¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [What were you worried about?]


    ¡°That ¡­ .I thought- what if you won¡¯t contact me again? ¡­ .¡±


    [ I said that will not happen¡­ ¡­ Was it that much of a concern? ]


    ¡°Yes. Because for me, that is the most important thing.¡±


    [ ¡­ Is talking with me the most important to Tofu? A pretty friend feeds you food, and a pretty and cute senior buys you alcohol, weren¡¯t they good?]


    ¡°Of course, they are good. But for me, talking to you is the most important thing.¡±


    [¡­¡­ You know Tofu, I thought about it a bit¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    [The fact that I am with you is actually making you sicker.]


    ¡°Uh? No.¡±


    [Isn¡¯t it better for me to disappear? Wouldn¡¯t Tofu be happier if you didn¡¯t contact me? I keep thinking about it these days.]


    ¡°No, absolutely not. Why would you think so?¡±


    [Tofu is so engrossed in the thought of dying with me, you can¡¯t seem to see the surroundings at all. Maybe without me, you can also live happily while playing with pretty classmates and seniors?]


    ¡°I can¡¯t.¡±


    [ The day before yesterday, I was angry with you and regretted it, but I thought¡­ ¡­ . I say that I won¡¯t bind you with words, but I think I¡¯m trying to hold you from others because of my greed. And, I can¡¯t control my greed. ]


    ¡°You and those people are completely different. And all I need is you.¡±


    [What is the difference between them and me? Wouldn¡¯t I be uglier than those people and have a worse temper?]


    ¡°They will be happy to meet anyone. They look great too, so wouldn¡¯t they be happy just looking at themselves in the mirror at home? People who want to eat together and people who want to drink are lining up to be with them everywhere¡­ ¡­ . Even if I had fun meeting people like that, one day I would be a fool to them. But, you are not. I thought you were like me¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Why do you think you¡¯re going to be a fool? If you continue being friends with them¡­ ¡­Those people probably are gonna be friendly to you¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°I have a plan to die with you, so why do I have to lean on such an uncertain and vague prospect when I have someone who will be with me just for three years?¡±


    [Look, that¡¯s what you think, it¡¯s better for you to be away from me.]


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not. Those people are the people who know that even if I die, they will live happily ever after. They will talk about me just for a moment and then move on. I would be just one of the topic for them to discuss on like ¡®Someone I know has committed suicide¡­ ¡­ .¡¯ ¡±


    [Tofu¡­ ¡­ . Only you think this way.]


    ¡°In their happy life, I am not a variable. I¡¯m just hovering on the surface of their lives for a fleeting moment¡­ ¡­ . But Bunny, you and I are different. Because we said we would die together, we were in a really deep relationship.¡±


    [Really, even if you die, do you think those people will live happily ever after? If Tofu wants to die, some might say that they will die with you, can¡¯t that also happen?]


    ¡°That can never happen.¡±


    [Why? How do you know about those people? You might be the really important person in their lives.]


    ¡°Because it doesn¡¯t make sense. Handsome and pretty people always have someone who likes to accompany them even if they are just breathing. Even if they fail in a relationship, a test, or in business , there will always be someone who comforts them and helps them. But why? Why are you insisting me to be away from you and not commit suicide?¡±


    [¡­ Because I love you that much.]


    ¡°But, I can¡¯t do that.I can¡¯t be part of their lives.¡±


    [Why do you keep saying you can¡¯t?]


    ¡°Well, it could happen what you are saying. Maybe I can buy a lottery ticket next Monday and win on Saturday evening. Do you want me to live like that? That¡¯s even worse.¡±


    [¡­¡­ .]


    ¡°I¡¯m so tired, Bunny¡­ ¡­ . It¡¯s too hard to expect. So, let¡¯s stop talking about other people. It would make us happy to die, right? Dying together is love. Or, is it hard to wait 3 years? If that¡¯s the case, I¡­ ¡­ . Anytime you want¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Tofu, there you are. In fact¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    [Actually, it is¡­ ¡­ . I want you to not die. Not in 3 years, 30 years or 60 years. I want you to just live until you die of old age.]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ What are you talking about all of a sudden? Why are you saying that? What you said till now¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [I¡¯m telling the truth now. I really want you to live happily forever without committing suicide.]


    ¡°Why the hell? Why are you saying this now? Our relationship is¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Because I like tofu¡­ ¡­ . Yoon-woo, I really like you.]


    ================================

 Chapter 26

    I didn¡¯t understand what the bunny was saying.


    My real name would have been known when I deposited 50,000 won into her account.


    When I first met the bunny, I was afraid that the bunny somehow knew about me, but the more I got to know the rabbit, the more that feeling disappeared.


    Because I knew it wasn¡¯t important to the bunny.


    Yoon-woo thought that if he had the will to die like her, she was a person who didn¡¯t care about everything else.


    ¡°What are you talking about¡­ ¡­ . When you even said death is love¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [That¡¯s half a lie¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°How much is true?¡±


    [Yoon-woo, if you really hate living to the end, if you think that the only answer left is to die, then I will die together with you. Because I like Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­ . That¡¯s what I mean that death is love, that I love you so much that I want to die with you¡­ ¡­ . In the past, I purposely talked a little bit together with Yoon-woo to like me, but¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­Then, what is a lie?¡±


    [I¡¯m not asking you to have the heart of dying for me. I just want us to live happily ever after. What I was trying to say was just¡­ ¡­ . that I think of you that way. And, I just wanted to tell you that I¡¯m not the kind of person who would go to meet other people after you die. I wanted to tell you that it will be difficult for me to live in the world after you die.]


    ¡°That¡­ ¡­ . Then, when you said


    ¡®love¡¯, did you mean the thing between ordinary lovers??¡±


    [I don¡¯t know what other people think about love. At least, like I said before, I don¡¯t think dying itself is love. Long before I said that, I was already in love with you. So, as you said, I didn¡¯t intend to die together as soon as we met. If I met you on the pretext of committing suicide, I was going to convince you somehow, either by kissing you or by proposing to live together. so you don¡¯t want to die¡­ ¡­ . To make you want to live¡­ ¡­ . If possible, I want to be your reason for living.]


    ¡°Then why did you talk about Romeo and Juliet? Why did you tell me about your father?¡­ ¡­ . Didn¡¯t you say that we can only be sure of love if we die together? I thought you really thought so.¡±


    [I wanted to reassure you. And anyway, even if I said that I really like you, it is because of your personality. I¡¯d only listen to you and believe you. Just like right now.]


    ¡°Nonsense. Everything you say is contradictory. You created a 1:1 open chat room from the beginning with the purpose of finding someone to die with, right? I can¡¯t remember right now, but that was the reason you gave. Let¡¯s say that it was just a coincidence that I got there. But how can you say that death wasn¡¯t the purpose? How can you come and say you want me to live? Are you kidding me right now? What test? Or have you been playing with me since the beginning?¡±


    [Yoon-woo, did you not see the opening date of that chat room?]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ .Do I have to know anything like that?¡±


    [It is now more than a year after you opened the chat room when you spoke to me. Maybe two years? Right now, I¡¯m using a different cell phone, and I¡¯ve created a new Kakaotalk ID.]


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ . But why?¡±


    [That was when my stepmom was pregnant with second child with my father. The chat room where you talk about suicide was created on a whim on my old phone. I wanted to fuck with my dad. Forgetting my manners and wanting to pour the cold water on my stepmother and stepchildren. However¡­ ¡­ . The people who talk to me all seem like people who like my dad.]


    ¡°Okay. So it was me who met you. But, you said you were the only one who could die with me, weren¡¯t you? A person who isn¡¯t blinded by sexual desire and does not have a rash personality?¡±


    [No. Actually, I just changed my phone after that. Seeing them, I thought that even if I died, my father would live happily ever after. So, I feel like I¡¯m at a loss¡­ ¡­ . And I just got out of the house, drank alcohol by myself, and lived a good life while selling algae leaf cosmetics.]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Then what am I?¡±


    [ I was bored after drinking. And, thinking about how twisted the guys were. When I turned on my old phone, I saw that you were talking to me. I wondered how desperate it was for you to even come to this old chat room, so I tried to talk a little bit, but as we talked, I was able to communicate well, be polite, and have a good time with you¡­ ¡­ . I wondered why this person is doing this. That¡¯s why I wanted to hear your voice, and after hearing your voice, I wanted to meet you, so¡­ ¡­ . The truth is, from the moment I first met you, I started liking you more and more.]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ But, didn¡¯t you ever urge me to just die quickly with you? To tell you whenever I want to die?¡±


    [You look difficult, so I did it because I wanted to meet you in person and comfort you. Tests and everything I said was a lie. It was because I really wanted to meet and have a drink together.]


    ¡°That means¡­ ¡­ . Then eventually¡­ ¡­ You were a kid who didn¡¯t want to die. It was all just heartbreak. I cried alone on the phone, so I thought I found someone like me¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [I also want to die! I have already told you that if you said and decided that you would die in the end, I would die too along with you. I was really lucky back then. I have some work¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°Then the reason you want to die with me¡­ ¡­ . Like I said before, because you like me?¡±


    [If you put it like that,¡­ ¡­ ¡­ . It¡¯s embarrassing.]


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t make sense. What do you know about me? How many times have you met me? All you know is my name, the school I go to, and my trashy voice and beggar personality, right? I was relieved that all of those things were trivial. But, nothing matters before death, doesn¡¯t it?¡±


    [Don¡¯t say that! Yoon-woo has a good voice, is polite, has a good personality, and is smart ¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ It¡¯s all a fantasy you made. You don¡¯t actually see me, you just fit me into the image you want.¡±


    [No, how does Yoon-woo know my heart and say that? How you look to me, how do you know!]


    ¡°Because you have very little information about me, and there¡¯s not much positive information out there, so it doesn¡¯t make sense that you like me with that.¡±


    [Isn¡¯t it true that people live by not understanding all aspects of other people? After all, everyone knows only a part of the other person. And I like the part of Yoon-woo that I know, so much that I want to die with you. Can¡¯t you just accept this?]


    ¡°I can¡¯t accept it. In reality, it will look different. In reality, you wouldn¡¯t like my gestures, my actions, my tone, my personality, everything. You¡¯ll find that most of the information you have about me is actually fantasy made by your wishes. Even if some small parts of me you know are true, my real self is disgusting enough to offset them all, so you¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [It¡¯s not! You¡¯re supposed to meet tomorrow to show that it¡¯s not like that!]


    ¡°Is it necessary? No matter what you do, I will eventually die. And, right now, aren¡¯t you living well too? There¡¯s no reason to die following someone like me. I can¡¯t feel that much value in me to you.¡±


    [It¡¯s not for you to decide. It¡¯s my heart.]


    ¡°But before, you told me to stop contacting you, and you kept telling me to do well with my seniors and classmates¡­ ¡­ . Actually, don¡¯t you already know? I¡¯m not the person you think I am. So, aren¡¯t you trying to step away from me now?¡±


    [No! not really! That¡¯s not it¡­ ¡­ . Because I am there, it seems that your desire to die is becoming so firm¡­ ¡­ . Because you don¡¯t even think that I really like you¡­ ¡­ . So I thought it would be better if you got along well with real people. Because I never want you to be with me in an unhappy state¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°You like me, but you want to cut off contact with the person you like? Is that for me too?¡±


    [No, my heart will hurt, but¡­ ¡­ . So if you become happier¡­ ¡­ . If someone other than me can make you happy¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°There is no such person. That¡¯s nonsense. you¡¯re just tired of me. Tired of toys, you¡¯re just wrapping things up in good terms for flea markets. As if you were making a sacrifice.¡±


    [Why do you say that to me?! I love you! Without knowing¡­ ¡­ . Why are you speaking so coldly?]


    The voice of a crying Bunny. However, Yoon-woo could not afford to calm the bunny.


    The rabbit was not the person Yoon-woo thought he was.


    I thought she was someone who wraps her desire to die with the word love, but it was the other way around.


    Now, to Yoon-woo, the bunny just seemed like an immature and crazy girl.


    I have too many expectations for her. Unlike her own father, she is immersed in her own image of sublime love, and plays against the arrogant and powerless Yoon-woo.


    Yoon-woo felt really hurt.


    Bunny, who was the only pillar I could lean on, was actually seeing a completely different fantasy, not him.


    It¡¯s like having no intention of dying from the start.


    It is too naive to believe that such a child likes Yoon-woo.


    To the extent that it feels as naive as believing that Santa Claus exists.


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ I¡¯m sorry, but no matter how much I think about it, it doesn¡¯t make sense that you like me. If you think about it calmly for a few days, you will come to your senses. Thanks for keeping in touch with me so far. Thanks to you so far¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [What do you want to organize? We were supposed to meet tomorrow! You promised! Why are you trying to run away without seeing me?]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ You told me to stop talking to you now.¡±


    [No. I can¡¯t break up with you, making me think like that. We must meet.]


    ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll wait with no expectations. I will take some things to study.¡±


    [That is unfair¡­ ¡­ . Why don¡¯t you trust me like that? Would it be different if I met you and kissed you?]


    ¡°Well, instead of kissing, would you ever think of sitting face to face with me?¡±


    [However¡­ ¡­ . Yoon-woo, won¡¯t you be disappointed when you see me? Because I¡¯m not the person you expected¡­ ¡­ . Do you even want to kiss me in person? Actually, I¡¯ve been thinking a lot these days. When Yoon-woo became happy, I thought it was okay to meet anyone¡­ ¡­ . I hated myself for getting angry because I thought that Yoon-woo had fun playing with pretty girls in a place where I wasn¡¯t there.]


    ¡°That is a really useless worry. How many times have I told you?¡±


    [Then, aren¡¯t we meeting and confirming that we both have useless worries tomorrow?]


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    As soon as the conversation was over, Yoon-woo swallowed the sleeping pill again. Still unsettled by his heart, he pulled the vial out of the drawer and swallowed another half of the Q-Loquel pill he had cut in small pieces.


    Yoon-woo didn¡¯t put the medicine box back in the drawer, just in case he couldn¡¯t sleep. So, he just left it on the desk.


    Somehow, the bunny was so kind and caring.


    She talked with Yoon-woo for a very long time. For over half a year¡­ ¡­ .


    There has never been a person like that in Yoon-woo¡¯s life.


    Is it reasonable to think that since there has been no such person before, such a person has appeared?


    Or is it reasonable to think that the other person is thinking about something wrong from the start?


    In fact, Yoon-woo was also vaguely aware of it.


    So, his anxiety grew bigger and bigger.


    Then, in the end, he spit out the sigh, which contains his whole anxiety, out of his mouth.


    Don¡¯t do that, don¡¯t meet me until I die.


    If you think about it, Yoon-woo has been used by the bunny, imagining Yoon-woo¡¯s image alone for more than half a year for her emotional stability, the innocent and immature girl.


    Bunny is a person who wants to die with someone, so the fact that the bunny needs Yoon-woo was the cause of maintaining the relationship between the bunny and Yoon-woo.


    But in fact, that reason had already disappeared from the bunny¡¯s mind.


    In the end, the bunny did not need Yoon-woo, only Yoon-woo needed the bunny.


    For Yoon-woo, a bunny¡¯s message and a single word were comforting to endure the day, but her view of Yoon-woo was just an illusion.


    To have such fantasies about Yoon-woo, who doesn¡¯t even know her face¡­ ¡­ .


    How old is a bunny?


    Could it be that she is a much younger child than he thought?


    Maybe it¡¯s the delinquent youth who started drinking early?


    Why didn¡¯t Yoon-woo ask the rabbit about that?


    Is it because it¡¯s polite not to delve deeply into each other?


    Actually, it was just an excuse. Perhaps the other person¡¯s problem is much lighter than that of Yun-woo, and after a little time, or if she changes her mind even a little, she will soon regain her will to live, so I was afraid that only I would be left alone in the face of death.


    In the end, it was a relationship where only he benefited. Continuing this relationship is selfish.


    Maybe he was trying not to check various facts in order to turn away from his selfish self.


    However, despite such efforts, the fact that he had been ignoring the time that she spent with her rushed forward to him.


    Now is the time to stop.


    Since I¡¯ve been grateful for all this time, shall I send a gift card to the bunny as a token of my gratitude?


    It may be blocked tomorrow, but if you want to send it, you have to send it now¡­ ¡­ . Oh, come to think of it, I have to return the 50,000 won I borrowed from the bunny.


    It¡¯s the end of the month, and the rest of the food expenses are handed over to Hyerim, so the 12,000 won in my wallet is all my wealth except for the 50,000 won.


    I was going to use it at the laundry tomorrow, but even if you hand wash your laundry, you can buy the gift with this ¡­ ¡­ .


    Cake? Coffee? However, in order to purchase a gift card, you must first deposit cash into your account.


    I¡¯ll have to get up early tomorrow morning and think about it.


    How do I get my 50,000 won back? Since it is an open chat ID, you cannot send money through Talk, so you need to know the account number to transfer money, but maybe the bunny actually has a lot of money, so she may be willing to give up that much and cut off contact with Yoon-woo.


    She may choose not to give out your account number and name rather than not throwing away 50,000 won.


    So, what should I do with the remaining 50,000 won in my account? Would I save it? Or should I take it out and stare at it all day and ponder over half a year of contact with the bunny?


    Just thinking about it made me laugh.


    After taking the sleeping pill in the morning, Yoon-woo sleeps all day. And then, after waking up, he took the sleeping pill and slept again.Yoon-woo¡¯s mind was hazy.


    He already seemed like he was in a dream.


    When you fall asleep eating Q-Loquel pills, the line between sleep and reality is sometimes ambiguous.


    I fell asleep while taking medicine at night and having a kakaotalk with a bunny, but I didn¡¯t know I¡¯d already fallen asleep and continued the kakaotalk in my dream.


    Maybe Yoon-woo, who took the sleeping pill in the morning, has been sleeping without waking up ever since?


    If the current conversation and the bunny¡¯s words on the phone are all just Yun-woo¡¯s dreams¡­ ¡­ .


    Then, after having this nightmare until morning, wouldn¡¯t there be a lonely and sad bunny who still wants to die with him, who keeps in touch with him?


    Come to think of it, there are too many rabbits in Australia, so it¡¯s a problem.


    It is said that even after hunting rabbits and killing rabbits, the rabbits continue to grow and multiply, and it is said that one person had to kill three or more rabbits.


    Still, there are a lot of rabbits rolling around and stealing alcohol, so the people kill rabbits that are being kicked by their feet¡­ ¡­ . There are so many rabbits, but they can kill them without an ounce of pity. They are very selfish people.


    I don¡¯t even think that rabbits could also be lonely¡­ ¡­ .


    We should have a drink together. There is not even a single rabbit in Yoon-woo¡¯s arms, but if Yoon-woo could hold only one rabbit, he would do anything.


    Even if I can¡¯t drink alcohol, if the rabbit asks me to drink it together, I¡¯ll drink with it until I vomit.


    Rather than killing the rabbits, kill Yoon-woo. Yoon-woo will grow rabbits steadily, but no one dares to kill or take them away.


    The government will try hard to figure out how to kill the stung population of Yoon-woo, but in the end they will find that there is no need.


    Because Yoon-woo will hang himself alone, or burn himself with smoke briquettes burning below, or swallow ample medicine and stab a knife in his neck, so that in the end, there will be no Yoon-woo left in the world.


    If Yoon-woo¡¯s corpse is rotten and becomes fertilizer for apple trees¡­ ¡­


    I hope the Australian government, which made a profit by exporting delicious apples grown like that, will change its mind and start a rabbit protection campaign.


    Then the rabbits dig a burrow near the root of the apple tree, and there they happily¡­ ¡­ .


    Yoon-woo, who woke up at 6 in the morning, turned on the voice chat app as soon as he woke up, and checked yesterday¡¯s call log.


    As soon as he confirmed that it wasn¡¯t a dream, he started vomiting again.


    He is foolish to have hope.


    He has to let go of expectations and imagine himself studying alone in Bordeaux Baguette long past the appointment time of 9:00 AM.


    But the more I remembered the situation, the more nauseated I got.


    I wanted to make sure that there was no one outside the window, so I kept looking out the window without looking at the book, then looked around my head to see if someone had entered the bakery without my knowledge and was disappointed.


    He was so disgusted with himself that he would act that way even though he was miserable.


    I keep getting nauseous¡­ ¡­ Even though the bean sprout soup I ate yesterday had already gone out this morning and there was nothing to come out, Yoon-woo bowed his upper body for a while in front of the toilet and vomited.


    Still, it was worthwhile to prepare my heart for such a long time.


    He did well by repeating dozens of times that even if he went to the bakery, he would never raise his head and just stare at a book.


    Because, even on Sunday between 9 am and 10 am, the bunny didn¡¯t come to see Yoon-woo.

 Chapter 27

    ================================


    ¨C Bunny, I want to return 50,000 won, but can you give me your account number?


    The bunny did not read the message Yoon-woo sent in the morning. Yoon-woo didn¡¯t pay any mind and left the house at 8 in the morning and arrived at Bordeaux Baguette at 8:30.


    ¡®Is it because she¡¯s on the way to Bordeaux Baguette, so she¡¯s not seeing the message, or she¡¯s already blocked my contact information?¡¯


    Either way, Yoon-woo has already made up his mind.


    On the way home, Yoon-woo stopped by an ATM and deposited 10,000 won into his account linked to Kakao Talk, and with the money he sent a 7,900 won gift card to the rabbit.


    It was a set of Byeol Cafe Americano and Cream Cheese Bagel.


    [ Bagel- a dense bread roll in the shape of a ring, made by boiling dough and then baking it. ]


    On the message card, he wrote ¡®Thank you¡¯.


    Bunny likes alcohol, so I had to send chicken to go well with it. But, I didn¡¯t have enough money, so I couldn¡¯t send it.


    Even after sending the gift card, the bunny still did not confirm the message.


    The streets of Anam are always empty on a Sunday morning.


    There are no students going to school, and many of the students go home after class on Friday and don¡¯t come to school unless there is a special occasion.


    Except for a few diligent students who start club activities from early in the morning, most of the remaining college students in Anam are still sleeping.


    Especially if they drank alcohol yesterday, Saturday.


    The commercial districts near the University depend on college students for most of their sales.


    The residential area is too far from the university area. That¡¯s why there are many shops that open late or don¡¯t open on weekends when there are no students, but only Bordeaux Baguette is open early in the morning.


    Yoon-woo bought a glass of Americano that was on discount for 1,000 won and a cheese stick for 600 won.


    He had no intention of eating bread, but he was sorry to go to the table with only a cup of coffee and sit down.


    He thought he would vomit again if he ate it, so he put a cheese stick on the table and only drank the coffee.


    In fact, I was a little sorry that I bought only one cheese stick and took up a seat, but when I got to the table, there were no other customers, and the staff did not even pay attention to me because they were busy with their work. So, I was able to open the book without noticing.


    Yoon-woo sat at the window seat, but he did not look out of the window at all and kept his head down.


    He was deliberately trying not to raise his head.


    He didn¡¯t want to create even the slightest bit of anticipation. He felt that once he looked out the window, he would have a glimmer of hope and looked out the window over and over again.


    It was the same when he heard the door open.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes were nailed only to the book.


    Nevertheless, for several minutes, Yoon-woo¡¯s book did not turn a single page.


    About 15 minutes later, someone spoke to Yoon-woo.


    ¡°Lee Yun-woo? Yoon-woo Lee, right?¡±


    His chest tightened at his tension. If the bunny really came all the way here and talked to him¡­ ¡­ .


    But when he looked up, he saw that the person he was talking to was someone he already knew.


    Maybe this person is a bunny¡­ ¡­ . It couldn¡¯t be.


    Bunny is nice, but she doesn¡¯t tell the truth.


    Because she kept hiding the real reason she met Yun-woo.


    Maybe the bunny saying that she sleeps in the morning and wakes up at night is a lie, and in fact, it is possible that the rabbit is a college student.


    However, I think that the gentle nature of the bunny is still real.


    So, I don¡¯t think Bunny will lie without a reason.


    The reason she hid her intentions from Yoon-woo was because of the good intentions of the bunny. But this person¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ . Hi. Saebyul.¡±


    ¡°You still remember my name?¡±


    ¡°Huh¡­ ¡­ . yes?¡±


    ¡°Then, do you know what my last name is?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s too much, really. How hard did I say hello and talk to you?¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Sorry.¡±


    Did you say hello and talk hard?


    It is not for Yoon-woo that Saebyul approaches Yoon-woo.


    She sympathizes with Yoon-woo, whom no one loves, she wants to make him love himself more and more, whom everyone didn¡¯t pay attention to.Wasn¡¯t it only for her image?


    She must know by now that Yoon-woo has no money, no will, or the ability to hang out with people, but what is her intention to keep talking to him?


    She said hello to Yoon-woo when there was a meeting. When she decides to go to MT or to a festival, she makes an enthusiastic invitation to go with him.


    And if Yoon-woo rejects this, she turns around with a sad expression and goes back to her group.


    Then, they will talk among themselves about how low-sociable Yoon-woo is, and how caring and caring for people Saebyul is.


    ¡®You are a flawed human being. You can¡¯t hang out with anyone, do you? No one talks to you but me? But look! Even though so many people like me, I am a kind person who even talks to people like you. So, be grateful.¡¯


    In fact, isn¡¯t that what Saebyul wants to say to Yoon-woo?


    Isn¡¯t it just to let you know that there is a difference between Saebyul and Yoon-woo as a human being?


    Isn¡¯t that what she wants to tell him not to forget their fractions just because they¡¯re in the same room, go to the same school, and go to the same department?


    If that¡¯s the case, he wants to tell her.


    Yoon-woo knows his foundation really well.


    He never thought he was like them.


    Until I graduate, I¡¯ll hide away quietly without being noticed, so please just ignore me.


    Bunny is not like that. Bunny is really kind.


    A bunny¡¯s kindness is not like that. Even if that kindness stems from her misunderstanding about me.


    ¡°Mrs Moon. It¡¯s Moon Saebyeol.¡±


    ¡°I see. I¡¯m sorry I didn¡¯t remember.¡±


    ¡°Now, you remember. Sometimes, you pretend that you know first¡­ ¡­ . But what are you doing here early? I came to buy breakfast. Shall I just eat here? While talking¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Clearly, Saebyul¡¯s attire was that of someone who came out to buy something for a while.


    It was because she was wearing a black cap on her head, short shorts for a long sleep and three-striped slippers.


    The usual Saebyul was more colorfully decorated than Jieun or Hyerim.


    Her hair, which was dyed light brown, was permed and curled beautifully, and it was noticeable that she was always wearing large earrings.


    A lot of college students, like Jieun, are too lazy to think about what to wear, so they wear a gwajam every day.


    [ Gwajam- A jumper that is usually worn by members of the same major of South Korean universities ]


    She worked hard to change into pretty clothes suitable for the season.


    Yoon-woo doesn¡¯t sleep too much, but he wore plain and simple clothes every time for a completely different reason from Saebyul.


    It¡¯s because Saebyul is a fashion person, and Yoon-woo doesn¡¯t wear it because he can¡¯t feel a sense of belonging to the university even if he wears colorfully.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s fashion is always the same.


    He wears a decent mix of white, gray and black shirts with a few pairs of jeans.


    ¡°I¡­ ¡­ . I have an appointment with someone¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Is it a senior? if not¡­ ¡­ . Is that the person senior Jieun was talking about?¡±


    ¡°Neither of them.¡±


    ¡°But then, is that true? Having a date with the Goddess of the business department¡­ ¡­ ¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ No.¡±


    ¡°Right? Isn¡¯t it just that senior Ji-eun was joking? What is Goddess¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    He wanted to give her a quick answer and send Saebyul away, but he didn¡¯t want to talk about Jieun as if she was a liar to Saebyul, too.


    ¡°I sometimes have lunch with a business school girl with her.¡±


    ¡°Ah, really? ¡­ ¡­ Then, is Jieun senior enough to be called a goddess?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ . She¡¯s pretty, but she¡¯s not dating me.¡±


    ¡°What, but Yoon-woo, you don¡¯t even eat rice with your classmates. You didn¡¯t attend any dinner appointments¡­ ¡­ . But you met the goddess of the business department, and you also met senior Jieun¡­ ¡­ . Yoon-woo, are you not dating someone with a certain level of face? Jieun is also very pretty. She is just a little small.¡±


    ¡°No, absolutely not. It¡¯s just that the girl I do group assignments with sometimes asks us to eat together, and she is close with Jieun noona¡­ ¡­ . That¡¯s how I got to know Jieun noona.¡±


    ¡°A goddess of the business department who is close to Jieun? Maybe Cho Hye-rim?¡±


    ¡°Uh? how¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Looks like I¡¯m right. Well, if that¡¯s her, she¡¯s a goddess of supremacy¡­ ¡­ . By the way, she¡¯s famous for being a tough girl who refuses to eat rice with any boys, but she says she eats with you? Are you sure there isn¡¯t anything between each other?¡±


    ¡°Between each other¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    What criteria must be set so that Hyerim and Yoon-woo can be bound by the word ¡®between each other¡¯?


    Maybe if an alien sees Hyerim and Yoon-woo walking together, it will say, ¡°There are two humans walking with each other.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ . Cho Hyerim and Jieun senior¡­ ¡­ . They¡¯re too high level. Even if they talk like that and eat with me, there¡¯s a reason why they can¡¯t even remember my name properly.¡±


    ¡°Ah, I¡¯m really sorry about that.¡±


    ¡°Perhaps¡­ ¡­ Is the person you are going to meet here a woman too?¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­ Huh.¡±


    ¡°Is that person pretty too?¡±


    ¡°That¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    I do not know. I don¡¯t know what she looks like, and she may or may not come.


    It was difficult to explain the long story in a nutshell, and I didn¡¯t even want to talk about the bunny to Saebyul.


    No, not to Saebyul, but to anyone else.


    ¡°I¡¯m done. It seems like I just asked something useless. I¡¯ll stop bothering you and go now. Bye.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ . Huh. bye.¡±


    Saebyul did not receive Yoon-woo¡¯s greeting and turned around coldly.


    For Saebyul, Yoon-woo was a mine where she could constantly mine self-esteem that she wanted, but she must have been offended because it seemed that part of the mine she had monopolized had passed to Hyerim or Jieun.


    Then, from now on, Saebyul may not speak to Yoon-woo. In other words, a good thing


    With that in mind, I looked at the clock and saw that it was already 8:56.


    Whether it was because he drank the coffee quickly or because of the tension, his hands keep trembling.


    I was worried that my clothes would get wet in a cold sweat.


    By any chance, if, in one case, the bunny comes to meet Yoo-woo¡­ ¡­ .


    I shouldn¡¯t show the bunny an ugly figure with my clothes soaked in sweat¡­ ¡­ .


    In Yoon-woo¡¯s mind, what he had just met with Saebyul had already disappeared.


    If Yoon-woo knew how to get along with a girl like Saebyul, or if girls like Saebyul knew just a little bit of what type of person Yoon-woo was, then Yoon-woo in middle school and high school would not have led such an isolated life.


    But, it is really difficult for a person to understand another person.


    There is a sculpture that looks like an elephant from the front and two giraffes from the side. However, if you look at the sculpture while moving from the front to the side, there is a section where neither an elephant nor a giraffe can be seen.


    Perhaps understanding other people is the process of trying to see a sculpture in a section that is neither an elephant nor a giraffe.


    In reality, it would be difficult to call the sculpture a giraffe sculpture or an elephant sculpture, but a person has no choice but to stand in one direction and see only the cross section from that direction.


    Therefore, the cross-section of Saebyul seen by Yoon-woo and the cross-section of Yoon-woo seen by Saebyul were completely different from their essence.


    But neither of them would change the position from which they were looking.


    Recognizing the essence of the other person may be impossible for any human being, but I would have been able to walk around the sculpture for at least a few steps¡­ ¡­ .


    Even walking those few steps was too tiring and difficult, and because there was little to gain compared to the effort. So, both Yoon-woo and Saebyeol just stood still in their seats.


    What if the time waiting for the rabbit was used as the time to walk those few steps?


    If so, how would Yoon-woo¡¯s life be different?


    At least, Yoon-woo¡¯s day today, not meeting the bunny, would not have been so painful.


    After 9 o¡¯clock, the promised time, no one entered the Bordeaux Baguette.


    Did the bunny not recognize Yun-woo?


    That can¡¯t be. Because Yoon-woo was the only person sitting at the table.


    I knew this. I already thought you wouldn¡¯t come.


    Yoon-woo muttered to himself like that. Perhaps while Yoon-woo was banging his head in a book or talking to Saebyul, she must¡¯ve arrived and looked at the window to see what Yoon-woo looked like and ran away.


    He knew¡­ ¡­ .


    He was ashamed of himself. The fact that, among the fragments of the crumbling heart, there are still fragments of hope that he has not been able to get rid of even though he has removed it before, and that the fragments were bigger and sharper than he thought and were stabbing him like this. He hated that he still couldn¡¯t get up from his seat.


    10 minutes passed, 30 minutes passed, and an hour passed from the promised time of 9:00.


    At first, I was going to get up as soon as I saw that the bunny wasn¡¯t coming, but at 9:10, I thought that people could be 10 minutes late.


    At 9:30, I wondered if the rabbit actually lived far away, not near here, so she might have gotten on the wrong subway.


    If she had, she would have contacted him, but Yoon-woo¡¯s cell phone, which he left on the desk, never rang.


    She also hasn¡¯t received the gift card yet.


    At 10 o¡¯clock, I wondered if she had left her cell phone at home for unavoidable circumstances.


    Maybe she left her cell phone in the taxi and got off?


    ¡®I¡¯m here to study, and if I wake up already for only bunny¡¯s visit, the price of coffee is a waste.¡¯


    I tried to convince myself like that, but even when I read the book, I couldn¡¯t read the letters.


    This was the reason I went to a psychiatrist earlier this year.


    I can hear words in the class, but I can¡¯t remember what I just heard.


    The text is visible, but the text is not readable at all.


    The doctor told me it was because of depression.


    Was it really because of psychiatric drugs or exercise that Yoon-woo was able to get out of such a state?


    Maybe it¡¯s because there was actually a bunny?


    Without the bunny, wouldn¡¯t Yoon-woo¡¯s cognitive function fail again?


    When I thought of that, I started to vomit again.


    I really have nothing more to vomit now¡­ ¡­ .


    Before meeting Bunny, didn¡¯t he feel so scared to go to school and meet people?


    Will Yoon-woo continue to live in this fear?


    He thought he¡¯d rather go home, get some medicine, and lie down, but he didn¡¯t have the strength to get up.


    There was no strength in his limbs and he was only trembling.


    Yoon-woo was curled up in his seat, with his elbows on the desk, and covering his face with both hands.


    The pop song played as the background music in the shop. But, it did not sound like a song to Yoon-woo¡¯s ears.


    Thump thump thump thump, only the sound of the drums reached his ears.


    That sound was very disturbing.


    Thump thump thump, the sound of his father hitting the wall with his fists, the sound of his mother kicking the door, the sound of a grumpy child knocking over Yoon-woo¡¯s desk¡­ ¡­ .


    The thumping sound got louder and louder, the more Yoon-woo¡¯s breathing became steeper.


    Maybe this is why I can¡¯t get over the nausea¡­ ¡­ .


    When you vomit a disgusting black liquid with the smell of coffee and stomach acid on your desk, the clerk comes up to you and says, ¡®Customer? What the hell did you do? Get out of here, you filthy bastard!¡¯ and then Yoon-woo, who got his clothes dirty again, was thrown into the washing machine¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡°Uh? Yoon-woo? what are you doing here ¡­ ¡­ What is it? Are you sick?¡±


    Even though he was covering his face with his hands, someone recognized Yoon-woo and talked to him.


    Yoon-woo slowly moved his hand away from his face, concentrating on trying to calm his breathing and swallow his nausea.


    No one would want to see Yoon-woo convulsing and vomiting.


    Maybe it was because he was concentrating on something else, and the thumping sound seemed to have diminished.


    But he had a hard time speaking long sentences.


    ¡°Huh? Ji-eun noona¡­ ¡­ ? just¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯m a little tired¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Do you still have a hangover? It could be. It takes three days for the liver to completely detoxify the alcohol. I also struggled for a few days when I was a freshman.¡±


    ¡°I see.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t seem to have any energy¡­ ¡­ . I came to eat cream puffs. Do you want to eat Yunwoo too?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡±


    ¡°Oh, have you eaten already? Did you leave one of those cheese sticks after eating?¡±


    ¡°No, I just bought this one.¡±


    ¡°But, don¡¯t you eat more?¡±


    ¡°Huh.¡±


    ¡°Why? That¡¯s delicious¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Just¡­ ¡­ . I have no appetite¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Ugh¡­ ¡­ . Then, shall I eat that? Can I sit in front of you and eat?¡±


    ¡°Okay. You can do that.¡±


    ¡°Then, I¡¯ll also bring you some bread!¡±


    The time is half past ten. Anyway, the possibility of a bunny coming is already gone.


    He didn¡¯t like meeting people, but he didn¡¯t want to be alone either.


    I was so afraid of being alone. By the way, Jieun is a person who treats Yoon-woo relatively favorably, and doesn¡¯t talk much to Yoon-woo.


    And, she¡¯s a good talker by herself, so it might distract Yoon-woo.


    Wouldn¡¯t I feel at ease if I watch what Ji-eun is eating?


    If I focus on the sound of Ji-eun talking, wouldn¡¯t it be possible not to think about anything else?


    As Yoon-woo was thinking like that, Ji-eun immediately put cream puffs on the tray.


    However, the number was a bit larger than he expected.


    ¡°Park Jun-ho¡¯s bakery above is also good, but still, if you compare cream puffs, this shop has the best taste.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Eat a lot.¡±


    Eight large cream puffs were placed on the tray.


    ¡°When I want to eat, I have to eat this much so I don¡¯t think about it for a while!¡±


    ¡°Lunch?¡±


    If I don¡¯t eat because I¡¯m full because I ate snacks, I¡¯m sure Hyerim will say something¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, it¡¯s okay. I can eat it all. Look, did you buy coffee too? Just as if you eat soju on a skewer, it will keep coming in, if you eat bitter coffee on a cream puff, you can keep eating.¡±


    Having said that, Ji-eun really enjoyed the cream puff.


    She took a bite of the cream puff with her little mouth, then took a sip of coffee and took another bite of the cream puff¡­ ¡­ .


    As he continued to watch Ji-eun eating, the feeling that he was about to vomit at any moment subsided a little.


    His limbs seemed to have stopped trembling. There is a reason why Witube mukbang is so popular.


    However, as she ate while biting the cream puff with her small mouth, Jieun¡¯s lips and coffee cup were full of cream puffs.


    ¡°Noona, there are some on your mouth.¡±


    ¡°Uh, huh?¡±


    Yoon-woo reached out his hand and wiped Jieun¡¯s lips with a napkin.


    It was a really thoughtless move.


    Maybe it was because I was dizzy.


    I was going to hand her a napkin, but Ji-eun was holding a cream puff in one hand and a coffee cup in the other.


    All I had to do was wait for Jieun to put down her coffee cup, but I didn¡¯t think about it that far.


    Yoon-woo realized that he had made a mistake only after seeing Ji-eun¡¯s bewildered expression.


    ¡°Oh, sorry. Without thinking¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Oh, no. Thanks¡­ ¡­ . Did I eat a little dirty?¡±


    ¡°No. It was nice to see.¡±


    ¡°Eww¡­ ¡­ .Okay.. ¡­ .¡±


    After that, Ji-eun quietly bowed her head and ate the cream puffs.


    Yoon-woo also felt embarrassed by the mistake he had just made and bowed his head.


    What if another thump breaks through this uncomfortable silence?


    Yoon-woo thought about it, but the silence between the two did not last that long.


    ¡°Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­ . Can¡¯t you also just eat one? You¡¯ll be dying of hunger¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ .¡±

 Chapter 28

    ================================


    ¡°Huh? Just eat this one¡­ ¡­ . I can¡¯t eat them now¡­ ¡­ . It must have been because I ate your cheese sticks.¡±


    Yoon-woo had no desire to put anything in his mouth.


    I felt a little better than before, but I was worried that I might vomit again after eating.


    ¡°I¡­ ¡­ . It¡¯s okay. Just wrap it up and I will give it to Hyerim.¡±


    ¡°No! Hyerim says she¡¯s dieting really hard , so she told me not to brag about what I eat! She told me not to bring any sweets or bread into the house¡­ ¡­ . Hyerim really likes things like this. So you have no choice but to eat it, okay? It also isn¡¯t worth throwing away, is it? And you also don¡¯t seem to have any energy because of the hangover, so eat this and get well soon! By eating food that includes sugar, especially sweets, you quickly get energy to do tasks¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    I didn¡¯t want to eat it, but it was also uncomfortable to refuse Ji-eun¡¯s words.


    Yoon-woo thought he had done too many things wrong with Ji-eun.


    If I refuse to eat, Ji-eun will think, ¡®This bastard was drinking and making a fuss, so I suffered a lot, but he doesn¡¯t eat any of these things, really¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    Now that the bunny has turned away from Yoon-woo, who said she loved him to death over the phone, he felt like he was pushed to the edge of a cliff.


    The image of Saebyul, whom he had thought of as insignificant before, turning away coldly, was also dazzling.


    It seemed like he couldn¡¯t stand being hated by anyone anymore.


    Even if someone doesn¡¯t like me, I hope they don¡¯t hate me.


    ¡°Thanks. I will eat well.¡±


    When I bit the crispy surface of the cream puff, the cream inside overflowed.


    However, Yoon-woo felt the oily taste of the cream in his mouth strangely disgusting. So, he quickly took a bite and swallowed the other half, chewing and drying out.


    ¡°How is it? Does it taste good?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s delicious.¡±


    Seeing Ji-eun¡¯s smiling face, I was worried that I might vomit in front of that smiling face.


    And because of that anxious mind, I felt like I was going to get nausea again.


    This is called self-fulfilling prediction.


    Prediction itself produces results as predicted.


    ¡°Look! You got the cream on your lips too! Is it because it¡¯s hard to eat this clean in the first place? I¡¯m not particularly bad at eating though.¡±


    Saying that, Ji-eun held out a napkin to Yoon-woo.


    I guess I got it in my mouth because I was concentrating on not throwing up.


    However, when Yoon-woo tried to grab the napkin that Ji-eun had handed him, Ji-eun playfully avoided her hand.


    There were no other napkins left on the tray. When he lifted his head and looked at Ji-eun, she was smiling mischievously.


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ What are you doing?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll wipe it off. Put your hands away.¡±


    ¡°Uh? ¡­ ¡­ It would be embarrassing.¡±


    ¡°I was shy back then, too. So, let¡¯s do it to each other.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­Sorry. But, it¡¯s just¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Oh, put your hands away.¡±


    Ji-eun stopped Yoon-woo¡¯s hand, who was embarrassed and was just trying to wipe his mouth with his hand.


    She then reached out her hand and wiped Yoon-woo¡¯s mouth with a napkin.


    I could feel Ji-eun¡¯s slender fingers moving over my lips.


    At first, Yoon-woo thought that Ji-eun had long arms and legs for her height. But, she certainly had short arms, since her hips were off the chair to reach his lips.


    When he saw Ji-eun trying to wipe her mouth while trying her best, he remembered Ji-eun who told Hyerim that he was also her close junior and friend.


    Maybe she really thinks of me as a real close friend, not a nominal friend?


    No. My shameless and weak heart, who has no place to lean on now, is looking for another place to depend on.


    Even if he finds someone to lean on, it wouldn¡¯t be her. She¡¯s always Ji-eun, an insider. What does she regret about someone like Yoon-woo? Why does she want to be friends with Yoon-woo?


    She is a kind person to everyone.


    If she puts her mind to it, she will be able to talk happily even with the bakery clerk at the counter over there right now.


    Does that mean Ji-eun considers the bakery clerk to be her friend?


    Yoon-woo is also just an extra passing by for a moment in Ji-eun¡¯s life.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s role in Ji-eun¡¯s life will be less than that of the janitor who dies as soon as the movie starts, to let him know that even at the beginning of the movie, there is no place for him.


    ¡®If Yoon-woo says he wants to die, does he think that she will say that she wants to die, too?¡¯


    What would happen if Yoon-woo actually said that to Ji-eun? Will she reply like Bunny?


    ¡®Sister, I¡¯m actually planning to commit suicide soon.¡¯


    ¡®Uh? ¡­ ¡­ But why are you telling me that? How about going to the hospital?¡¯


    A realistic response would be that.


    ¡®What do I have to do?¡¯


    ¡®Comfort him?¡¯


    ¡®Encourage him?¡¯


    ¡®Why are you saying this to me?¡¯


    ¡®Why tell me something creepy¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    A normal person would only think that way.


    The problem Yoon-woo has is a problem that he has to fully embrace by himself.


    No one wants to talk to Yoon-woo, and no one wants to hear such annoying things.


    People like Yoon-woo should always think about good things before talking to others.


    A story that the other person will like, or a story that will benefit the other person.


    But what if you can¡¯t? It¡¯s best to just keep your mouth shut.


    ¡°Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­ . Have you got everything you studied?¡±


    ¡°Roughly.¡±


    In fact, none. I don¡¯t think I can study anymore today.


    ¡°Then why don¡¯t you take a walk with me? Isn¡¯t it 11 now? There¡¯s nothing for me to do. So, I have to digest the food that I ate before we go to Hyerim¡¯s home¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    It was an unusual time for Yoon-woo to go back to his room and come out again.


    Is it because of crumbs of anticipation that clings to the wall of Yoon-woo¡¯s mind and does not fall off, or is it because of lethargy caused by disappointment?


    ¡°Huh? Let¡¯s go, I¡¯m also bored if I go alone¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Yeah, then.¡±


    Although there was still no strength in his limbs, Yoon-woo barely got up from the sense of duty not to reject Ji-eun¡¯s words.


    Fortunately, Ji-eun is not a person who talks to Yoon-woo a lot.


    So, it¡¯s not difficult for Yoon-woo to get a proper walk with her.


    Wouldn¡¯t it be possible to forget the feeling of vomiting while walking and concentrating on listening to Ji-eun¡¯s loud voice, even if it was windy?


    In fact, compared to how fast Ji-eun spoke, her voice was on the small side, and because of the height difference between Yoon-woo and Ji-eun, it was necessary to concentrate quite a bit to understand Ji-eun words while walking.


    However, as he followed Ji-eun out of the bakery, a scene suddenly came to his mind.


    Ji-eun¡¯s small back was familiar.


    I think I¡¯ve never seen someone put their arms on her little shoulders.


    But, I think I put my weight on that arm on the day that I got drunk.


    It seems that I relied on that small, weak girl who seemed to have no power as her height.


    ¡°Noona, you know¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Perhaps¡­ ¡­ . When I was drunk , I put my hand on your shoulder¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Uh? Do you remember?¡±


    ¡°Really? ¡­ ¡­ What did I do? I¡¯m sorry. Really¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Hey, what are you sorry for? I already said you did nothing wrong.¡±


    ¡°Nevertheless, I got drunk and did that to noona¡­ Ah¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Ah! It¡¯s okay! What is that¡­ ¡­ . If the juniors get drunk and dizzy, the seniors can support them too!¡±


    ¡°Sorry. I¡¯m really sorry.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t mind that, haven¡¯t I already said that already? It was rather fun! I can¡¯t carry other juniors on most drinking parties¡­ ¡­ because I was treated like a kid¡­ ¡­ . Even when someone was drunk, no one would lean on me. Usually another big guy takes them.¡±


    ¡°It must have been difficult. I must have been heavy¡­ ¡­ . It would have smelled like alcohol and would have been unpleasant¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Nope! It wasn¡¯t heavy at all. You even need to eat some more. And I must have smelled like alcohol too, but what do you mean an unpleasant thing? Rather than being offended, I even¡­ ¡­ . Hmm, anyway, you don¡¯t have to worry about it !¡±


    ¡°Thank you, noona. Is there anything I can do for you?¡±


    ¡°What can you do for me?¡­ Hmm¡­That¡¯s right, study notes. Write it down and organize it neatly and send it to me, hehe.¡±


    ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll do my best to sort it out.¡±


    ¡°No, I only just said it, you don¡¯t have to organize it. Thank you for showing me. Just send me what you wrote.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    As expected, Yoon-woo, who drank alcohol, made a big mistake.


    Even if there is a report and he is referred to the disciplinary committee, there would be nothing to say. But, no report means it is probably because Jieun has a good personality.


    Because of the writing, Ji-eun put a lot of effort into carrying me. But, I can¡¯t give her with only my writing.


    I will have to organize them with all my heart and soul so that she can take the test just by looking at Yoon-woo¡¯s notes.


    ¡°By the way, where are we going? Are we only gonna walk like this? Or do you want to go to school?¡±


    ¡°Where does noona want to go?¡±


    ¡°So, you have no opinion¡­ ¡­ . Oh, shall we go to the squirrel road and see the cats?¡±


    ¡°OK.¡±


    The side road, nicknamed Squirrel Road because squirrels roamed around. But, it is difficult to see squirrels because cats were squatting and living around most of the time. Only on some days, you can see squirrels often.


    Since then, there has been a house for cats nearby.


    It seems like the student council did something to protect the cats, but I wasn¡¯t interested at that time, so I didn¡¯t know who made it exactly. If there are cats and even cat houses, I wonder if we should start calling it the cat road, not the squirrel road.


    Cats on Squirrel road do not run away even when people approach them.


    Because college students often give some meat and cans of tuna. They show affection to people when they are hungry.


    Sometimes, they suddenly jump between people¡¯s legs and rub their backs, but when people try to touch them, they avoid it, so it seems like they just do it when their backs are itchy.


    Every time Yoon-woo passed this road, it was the day where he went to take a class at the management office. And, he also wanted to play with the cats, but he couldn¡¯t get to them because they were so popular.


    Still, today, a holiday when there are no people, can I touch them?


    Then, I might feel really good.


    Like the stray cats that played with Yoon-woo when he was kicked out of the house, the cats on Squirrel Street may comfort him.


    But today, for some reason, even those cats went to play somewhere and were not there.


    There were days like that, but I guess that¡¯s today¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡°Hey¡­ ¡­ . where did they go?¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Yoon-woo.¡±


    ¡°What to do? There¡¯s still quite a bit of time left until 12 o¡¯clock, but I¡¯m hungry¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Would you like to walk more?¡±


    ¡°Unlike you, I have short legs, so even walking this much is already difficult¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Oh sorry¡­ ¡­ . then¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Then, shall we go to coin karaoke? There would be no one there now. It¡¯s two songs for 500 won, so should we sing one song at a time? If you have time, let¡¯s go together.¡±


    ¡°Coin karaoke?! That¡¯s a bit¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Why? Yoon-woo has a good voice, so I think you¡¯ll be good at singing too, right?¡±


    ¡°Uh? my voice¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Do you know any Sung Si-kyung or Kim Dong-ryul songs? I think that kind of song and your voice would fit¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    It was strange to give concrete examples rather than sarcastic remarks to his voice, so Yoon-woo was confused.


    Obviously, Ji-eun avoided Yoon-woo¡¯s voice because she didn¡¯t like it¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡°I know that, but I can¡¯t sing well.¡±


    ¡°What song do you usually sing? Have you ever been to a coin karaoke bar?¡±


    ¡°Go about once a week. I usually sing about one or two songs. And, I don¡¯t sing too loud.¡±


    ¡°Oh, that would be good too. Surprisingly, it reduces quite a lot of stress, doesn¡¯t it? Do you have any other hobbies besides this? Thank God. I was wondering what kind of fun you have in your free time. I wonder if it¡¯s because you¡¯re playing dead at home¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Playing dead¡­ ¡­Well.. I..¡±


    The reason Yoon-woo went to a coin karaoke room was to do laundry.


    Even though he was determined to save money, Yoon-woo used the coin laundry, not the drum washing machine in his room, for several reasons.


    First, the drum washing machine in the room didn¡¯t perform very well, so even after adding an appropriate amount of detergent, the detergent was often clumped in the corners and remained on the clothes.


    And even if it wasn¡¯t, the musty smell remained and it seemed that the washing was not done properly.


    But the biggest reason is¡­ ¡­ .


    It¡¯s because Yoon-woo couldn¡¯t contain his anxiety when he saw the washing machine running.


    In particular, he couldn¡¯t stand the sight of the small and cramped drum washing machine in his room spinning and the sound it made while turning.


    I didn¡¯t even like the process of loading and unloading laundry in that small washing machine.


    The coin laundry¡¯s washing machine was large. So, I can endure it a little bit.


    So, Yoon-woo always goes to a coin laundry a little far from his room to do his laundry, then comes back and hangs it on the rooftop laundry drying rack.


    The coin laundry also had a dryer, but I didn¡¯t use it because it was much more expensive to use the dryer than the washing machine.


    After washing at the coin laundry and drying on the rooftop, the next day at lunch time, the sun-dried clothes were much cleaner and smelled better than when I washed them in a drum washing machine.


    However, the problem was that even the coin laundry washing machine was running for about 20 minutes and I didn¡¯t know what to do in the meantime.


    Yoon-woo feels very pressured by the sight and sound of the washing machine, so he wants to return to the laundry exactly at the exact time the washing machine stops.


    The laundry had Wi-Fi and even had a chair and desk to wait for, but I didn¡¯t want to sit in a place with 7 washing machines.


    However, the waiting time for laundry was an ambiguous time for taking a walk or returning home, so Yoon-woo just wandered around the laundry without any meaning.


    Then, one day, he found a bearded man wearing a t-shirt and shorts and dragging three-striped slippers into a coin karaoke room alone.


    Seeing that he was walking from the science and engineering campus, I thought he might be a graduate student in science and engineering.


    Until then, I thought that karaoke was a place that only insiders went and people like me were not allowed to enter, but seeing such a person entering, I became interested. Also, it was inconvenient for a 500 won coin to limp in my pocket after changing bills to coins at a coin laundry.


    He thought it would be okay to spend an extra 500 won a week.


    Contrary to Yoon-woo¡¯s prejudice that karaoke was a place where insiders laughed and chatted, coin karaoke was rather a space for people like Yoon-woo.


    As long as the door was closed properly, no one cared about him, and Yoon-woo¡¯s voice did not leak out.


    So, it was a space where I could satisfy the desire to have a voice that I felt when I was alone.


    Maybe it was because of the echo of the microphone, or the echo in a cramped space, it felt like his own voice sounded pretty good in a coin karaoke room.


    I liked that the coin karaoke room near the laundry was far from Anam Station, so there weren¡¯t many people at the karaoke.


    In the end, for Yoon-woo, the day of doing laundry became a day to go to a coin karaoke room.


    ¡°Anyway, that¡¯s fine. Let¡¯s go over there by the back door.¡±


    ¡°Uh, but I¡¯m not very good at singing¡­ ¡­ . That wouldn¡¯t be good to hear¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Hey, don¡¯t worry about that. I¡¯m going to digest the food anyway. Actually, going drunk and singing is the most fun. Then you won¡¯t be shy and you will feel like you can sing better for nothing.¡±


    Yoon-woo has a complex voice, so there is a reason to worry about it when they¡¯re going to sing by taking turns.


    But, he also thought that if it was Ji-eun, she wouldn¡¯t really care.


    No matter what Ji-eun thinks of Yoon-woo, it is because Jieun has already heard Yoon-woo¡¯s voice enough to hear Yoon-woo¡¯s singing and has experienced all the ugliness that Yoon-woo caused while intoxicating with his voice.


    Even so, the suggestion to go to a coin karaoke room together means that she is mentally prepared to handle the situation.


    Or maybe she wants to laugh and enjoy how weird Yoon-woo¡¯s voice is.


    ¡®Listen, I¡¯ve been recording a song sung by Lee Yoon-woo, don¡¯t you guys want to listen?¡¯


    Thinking like that, I remembered Ji-eun, who had Yoon-woo as a side friend for drinks with her friends.


    But he owes a lot to Ji-eun.


    Even if Ji-eun wants Yoon-woo to be a joke, Yoon-woo has no choice but to follow it.


    I experienced that a lot when I was in elementary school.


    The only way to deal with people making fun of Yoon-woo was to just let them tease him.


    It¡¯s a scene people really want to see, where Yoon-woo, who struggles to avoid being teased and not to be laughed at.


    And above all, I am tired of thinking about that now.


    I don¡¯t have the strength to think about what the other person¡¯s intentions are and how to protect my heart from people.


    Let¡¯s just let it go.


    When I¡¯ve done everything that Ji-eun and Hyerim wanted, I want to go to my room, swallow my medicine, and go to bed.


    I can¡¯t even go to the laundry today because I bought a gift card with the cash I have anyway.


    ¡°OK. I got it.¡±


    ¡°Then let¡¯s go! Ah, I¡¯m tired¡­ ¡­ I came all the way here. But, I can¡¯t even see a cat¡­ ¡­ . Gosh¡­ ¡­ . Yoon-woo-ya, take me with you.¡±


    ¡°Huh.¡±


    ¡°Hey¡­ ¡­ I¡¯m kidding¡­ ¡­ . Do you have a thing that you don¡¯t like? Like..do you like jokes¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­ .¡±


    I followed Ji-eun, who was walking slowly. When she arrived at the coin karaoke room, it was 11:35.


    As Ji-eun said, it was a Sunday, so there were a lot of empty rooms.


    The coin karaoke room located at the front of the engineering university where the method was of entering the room directly and inserting coins, whereas the coin karaoke room at the back door of the university was like paying at the machine at the entrance and choosing a room.


    When Yoon-woo tried to take out the card, Ji-eun said, ¡®Okay, I¡¯m the one who spoke up, so I¡¯ll pay it. It¡¯s 500 won.¡¯ and she chose the room.


    ¡°Would you like to sing first?¡±


    ¡°No, I think you should think about what to sing first.¡±


    ¡°Then, can I sing first?¡±


    ¡°Huh.¡±


    And, Ji-eun entered her number of songs without even searching.


    It seems to be a song she often sings.


    The song that Ji-eun chose was a song that Ji-eun would like.


    ¡°Do you want to build a snowman?¡±


    Yoon-woo, who heard Ji-eun¡¯s song, immediately fell in love with her voice.


    Of course, Ji-eun¡¯s singing skills were excellent and it was a long song, but that wasn¡¯t the reason.


    She said that some of the people who sing well have a very different voice when they sing.


    I think it¡¯s because they give strength to their stomach, straighten their vocal cords, and sing in a completely different tone than usual.


    It was like Ji-eun¡¯s voice now.


    Unlike her usual tone of speaking, where she chatted quickly and quietly, Ji-eun¡¯s voice, reciting the lyrics softly to the quiet accompaniment, sounded too familiar to Yoon-woo.


    Even considering that her voice is muffled by the karaoke echo, her voice was so similar to someone Yoon-woo knew.


    ¡®Can I sing you a song? San~Rabbit? It¡¯s a rabbit¡­ ¡­ ¡¯


    With the lyrics getting faster and faster, Ji-eun¡¯s song was perfect in English pronunciation, beat, high pitch processing, and even the main character¡¯s lines that popped out in the middle of the song.


    That¡¯s why, after the song, Ji-eun had a proud expression on her face.


    ¡°How is it? Do you love it? I sing this song myself¡­. ¡­.¡¯¡¯


    ¡°Bunny?¡±

 Chapter 29

    ¡°Huh? Bunny?¡±


    Ji-eun asked with a puzzled expression. It was Yoon-woo¡¯s mistake.


    He was so embarrassed that his voice came out without him knowing.


    It wouldn¡¯t have happened if it was a normal Yoon-woo.


    Unless someone urges him to answer quickly, Yoon-woo always speaks after thinking for a long time.


    ¡°Ah, no, I said noona sings really well. You are like a popular singer.¡±


    ¡°Huh, right? Ever since I saw this movie, I always sang this song every time I came to karaoke.¡±


    Ji-eun¡¯s voice and manner of speaking were the same as usual.


    It was completely different from singing.


    What happened?


    Why does Ji-eun¡¯s voice resemble a bunny so much?


    Did Yoon-woo¡¯s ears become deaf because he was nauseous?


    Do you think bunny will suddenly appear because you want to hear her voice so much?


    ¡°I see¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Hey, Yoon-woo? Haven¡¯t you made a reservation? Come on, choose.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Still, if Ji-eun is a bunny, it means that she is pretending so naturally.


    If so, what is her intention?


    Suppose Ji-eun is a bunny.


    However, the bunny did not appear at the meeting place.


    If that¡¯s because she doesn¡¯t like Yoon-woo, it doesn¡¯t explain why Ji-eun, who doesn¡¯t like being with Yoon-woo, recommended him for a walk and even brought him to a coin karaoke room.


    Conversely, if she is someone who can accept Yoon-woo as Bunny said over the phone, she can just say that she is a bunny.¡­ ¡­ .


    Oh, wake up! That¡¯s not it.


    The possibility that Yoon-woo came up with was truly terrifying.


    Yoon-woo thought that the bunny was an immature girl who grew up fantasizing about him on her own, but ran away in disappointment when she saw the real Yoon-woo.


    However, even if it was due to a fantasy, I thought that the kindness and consideration shown to me in our conversations during the night was the real character of the bunny.


    But suppose that image was built by someone like Ji-eun?


    A person like Ji-eun can never be serious with a person like Yoon-woo.


    What if the thought that bunny woke up all night because she was addicted to alcohol and games was wrong? But, instead, wouldn¡¯t it be possible that she came home after a full day¡¯s work and contacted Yoon-woo to make up for her boring night?


    [ T/N: In this sentence, you can consider the word ¡®bunny¡¯ is Ji-eun since he is thinking if bunny is Ji-eun. ]


    When Yoon-woo spends a lonely day alone, wouldn¡¯t Ji-eun always have a good time with her pretty, cool, and cheerful friends?


    When Yoon-woo took a sleeping pill and felt dazed and complained about people who disturbed his sleep by drinking and chatting outside, wouldn¡¯t Ji-eun be mixed with the drinking and chattering crowd?


    Until the bunny was there, Yoon-woo¡¯s cell phone was just a good-looking watch that only received frequent calls from his parents that he didn¡¯t want to attend.


    But, it may be different for her. Maybe, before she went to sleep, Ji-eun would smile and look at her cell phone, and check who she was going to eat with tomorrow and who she has appointments with on the weekend.


    If Ji-eun is a bunny¡­ ¡­ .


    If the loneliness that the bunny complained about was the brief emptiness she felt when she came home after breaking up with her friends¡­ ¡­ .


    The time in contact with the bunny was the most important time of the day for Yoon-woo, but for the bunny, the time with Yoon-woo must have been a very insignificant and light play time.


    If Ji-eun was a rabbit, she already knew a human named Yoon-woo, and she wouldn¡¯t do anything that would complicate her identity as a ¡®bunny¡¯.


    Because Ji-eun already knew who Yoon-woo was.


    There was no need for her to argue with Yoon-woo as he had already said that her mind was mistaken.


    Still, considering he did something like that¡­ ¡­ .


    Ah¡­.The conclusion is that our relationship was all a joke from the beginning.


    She said that death is love, and that she really likes Yoon-woo was just playing with a stupid Yoon-woo.


    Then, tired of listening to Yoon-woo¡¯s clinging and whining, she finished playing as a bunny and appeared with Ji-eun¡¯s face.


    Yoon-woo, who is nothing more than a toy, is terrified of trying to have a really deep relationship with her, so she stops playing and meets him only as Jieun, who has only a superficial relationship with him.


    ¡°Why? Why are you looking at me like that? Aren¡¯t you going to pick a song?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯ll choose right away.¡±


    If you really think that Ji-eun is a rabbit¡­ ¡­ . It seems that all the time I spent with the bunny for more than half a year so far is thrown into the trash.


    Even if the bunny is not as kind and gentle as Yoon-woo thinks, it is okay.


    Actually, it¡¯s not that important.


    What is really important is the fact that during that time, Yoon-woo was needed by someone, even for a moment.


    Yoon-woo, at least for a time of the six-and-a-half years of meeting the bunny, maybe only a few minutes, he thought that the bunny needed Yun-woo.


    At least, he believed that the bunny contributed a little to alleviating his loneliness by talking freely and releasing stress.


    But what if it was built by a bunny only for her?


    What if she is loved by everyone, and she has a mountain of people to talk to even if it¡¯s not Yoon-woo?


    Even during that long period of time, Yoon-woo had never been needed by anyone.


    If I think so¡­ ¡­ .


    I don¡¯t know.


    There are many people who have similar voices.


    And Ji-eun and Bunny have a very similar tone of voice.


    Whatever it is, it¡¯s already over.


    Yoon-woo knows too little about bunny, and has lost the opportunity to know more about her.


    What does it mean to Yoon-woo to not think about Bunny anymore?


    All the incidents have passed, and all that is left is the remnants of Yoon-woo¡¯s thoughts and memories with the bunny.


    Yoon-woo did not want to think that he was deceived by the bunny.


    In the meantime, he wanted to believe that the bunny Yoon-woo saw was the truth.


    I hope that even Yoon-woo, created by the bunny¡¯s fantasy, has been of some help to the bunny¡¯s life.


    The song Yoon-woo chose was a 12 minutes song called ¡®I¡¯m afraid of the dark today¡¯. This song, which begins with the phrase ¡°Today, I¡¯m afraid to be alone, look out the window and hear the sound of the wind¡±, is a song that Yoon-woo sang for bunny at night. Bunny also woke up and listened to his song with earphones. It¡¯s the song that I can sing freely.


    Although he could relate to the lyrics about begging to be by your side with the reason that he was afraid of sleeping alone at night, he didn¡¯t want to cling to someone to stay with him like the lyrics say.


    Anyway, no matter what, no one will be by Yoon-woo¡¯s side.


    No one throws money into the beggar¡¯s hat easily, so it is better to starve to death alone in a place no one knows about, than to beg with his head on the ground.


    So that no one can recklessly sympathize with Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­ So that no one knows how tragic Yoon-woo¡¯s death is¡­ ¡­ .


    It was fortunate that the bunny was with Yoon-woo for a while.


    But now there is no bunny.


    Yoon-woo has to spend three years alone when the bunny doesn¡¯t call.


    But come to think of it, it wasn¡¯t that difficult.


    I used to live like that.


    He endured both his father¡¯s violence and his mother¡¯s abusive language.


    Of course, there will be a lot of empty seats in his mind without a bunny, but¡­ ¡­ .


    Take my medicine earlier than usual.


    If I swallow the medicine around 9 o¡¯clock when I start contacting the bunny, everything will be resolved.


    Although it only increases your sleep time by an hour or so.


    I wish I could have a good dream during that extended hour.


    ¡°What, Yoon-woo sings really well, ¡­ ¡­ . But why is your expression so bad? Are you still in bad shape? I wanted to sing more, but I can¡¯t¡­ ¡­ . Let¡¯s go out right now.¡±


    ¡°Thanks. I¡¯m fine, if you want more noona.. ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°No, let¡¯s go. We have quite a bit of time left, so why don¡¯t we go back to Hyerim¡¯s home? It might be okay if you walk for a while.¡±


    ¡°Huh. OK¡±


    Also, I don¡¯t think Ji-eun, who is so caring, will pretend to be a bunny for the purpose of making fun of Yun-woo.


    Ji-eun is a good person and bunny is a good person too.


    Whether a person is a good person or a bad person, and whether that person likes or dislikes Yoon-woo, is another matter.


    Good people are polite to Yoon-woo, but that doesn¡¯t mean they like Yoon-woo.


    ¡°But the song Yoon-woo sang earlier, the lyrics¡­ ¡­ . Why do I feel like you¡¯re flirting with someone? Don¡¯t you just go to sleep at your house after studies?¡­ ¡­ If not¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°Are you¡­ ¡­ . I mean when you go to karaoke with other people, do you usually sing songs like this?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve never been with anyone else¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Oh, then¡­ ¡­ . Am I the first again?¡±


    ¡°Huh.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­Okay. Let¡¯s come together again next time, coin karaoke.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    ¡°Shall we go to Hyerim¡¯s place now? She¡¯s not even sure where we are. Why don¡¯t we go a little early? ¡¯¡¯


    ¡°Let¡¯s do that.¡±


    Seeing Ji-eun taking out her cell phone and chatting, Yoon-woo also took out his cell phone for a moment.


    I was thinking of checking the time¡­ ¡­ .


    A notification popped up on the phone.


    I thought it was a message Ji-eun sent to a group chat room with Hyerim, but it wasn¡¯t.


    The messages of kakaotalk sent to Yoon-woo were a gift rejection message and an order cancellation message.


    Seeing the gift card Yoon-woo sent, the bunny must¡¯ve clicked ¡®reject the gift¡¯.


    It seems that she doesn¡¯t even want to receive a present from Yoon-woo anymore.


    If it was coming from Yoon-woo, even the favor would be offended.


    Even the slightest possibility that the bunny might have gotten lost or had an accident that he thought before had disappeared.


    Now it¡¯s really all over.


    ¡°Why did you and Yoon-woo come in together? Were you two together again?¡±


    As she entered Hyerim¡¯s house, Hyerim asked Ji-eun.


    Come to think of it, he had never come to Hyerim¡¯s house with Ji-eun.


    Ji-eun always arrives at Hyerim¡¯s house first, and she rolls around on the bed.


    ¡°Uh? Ah¡­ ¡­ . that is¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°You decided not to lie now, did you?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ We went to a karaoke room together¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Suddenly?! Only the two of you in that narrow space? Why?¡±


    ¡°I was hungry and ate a lot of things. So, I asked Yoon-woo to go karaoke to digest it. The two of us simply sang one song each.¡±


    ¡°Huh? Why are you hungry? Wait, what did you eat?¡±


    ¡°That¡­ ¡­ . This is what you told me not to say. Wouldn¡¯t it be better not to listen?¡±


    ¡°What? Did you eat with Yoon-woo too? Were the two of you eating something delicious? Oh, just say it quickly!¡±


    ¡°That¡­ ¡­ . You said not to bring cookies or bread, right? So I went to Bordeaux Baguette in front of you and ate cream puffs. I¡¯ve been thinking about cream puffs since last night, so I couldn¡¯t take it anymore, so I came out a little early¡­ ¡­ . Yoon-woo also happened to be sitting there, so we ate together.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­ . Why¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Is it ok? Did you hear it clearly? What if I ask you if you secretly eat something like this and ask it so tenaciously, I wonder what your expression¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Why did you eat cream puffs? How much do I like cream puffs, don¡¯t you know?¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°So. Hyerim, are you a cream puff ghost? I tried to eat 8 this time, but I couldn¡¯t. You were more than this last time¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Noona! Don¡¯t talk about that in front of other people.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Oh my God¡­ ¡­ . Because of you, I want to eat too!¡±


    ¡°So, just eat. Would eating one or two cause any major problems? I think I can eat one more after eating now.¡±


    ¡°Eww¡­ ¡­ . Would it? Okay¡­ ¡­ . There must be a cheat day¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Would you like to go and eat at Park Jun-ho¡¯s Bakery? Again, the taste is completely different. Coffee is much tastier than Bordeaux Baguette, so let¡¯s have a cup of coffee there. How is it? Are you also okay, Yoon-woo?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m fine¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Then, Yoon-woo! After that, if I take a break for an hour and then work out hard, I won¡¯t gain weight, right?¡±


    ¡°Well then. of course. Eat it.¡±


    Ji-eun continued to encourage Hye-rim.


    He saw Hyerim cleaning cream puffs in an instant, and it seemed like it could not last long for Hyerim to share a diet like this with Yoon-woo.


    Like before, Yoon-woo had no desire to eat cream puffs.


    But, it is tiring to say no.


    In particular, refusing to Hyerim consumes a lot of energy.


    ¡°I¡¯ll only drink coffee then.¡±


    ¡°Uh? why? The cream puffs here are also delicious!¡±


    ¡°I just ate many¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°It tastes different again!¡±


    ¡°Noona¡­ ¡­ . Like us, Yoon-woo will have a hard time eating and eating again. I think he has a short mouth¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Is it? Maybe because he has no energy¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ ¡­ . Where does Yoon-woo hurt?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. I¡¯m just a little dizzy¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°By the way, did Yoon-woo go home yesterday and eat dinner?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°I told you to eat it! So, how long have you not eaten rice? Hurry up, eat first!¡±


    The lunch menu that Hyerim cooked was smoked duck slices.


    I wondered if this kind of menu was really possible within the budget of Yoon-woo and Hyerim and Jieun


    But I didn¡¯t have the energy to ask.


    He wanted to go home and take medicine as soon as possible.


    It¡¯s the weekend anyway, but I can¡¯t study, so can¡¯t I just keep sleeping until Monday comes?


    When you wake up, take your medicine again¡­ ¡­ .


    However, Hyerim and Ji-eun did not leave Yoon-woo alone.


    We eat, clean up, and go to another bakery together to drink coffee.


    And not too long after returning home, Hyerim invited me to go exercise together.


    When asked if he was feeling any better, Yoon-woo replied that he was fine now, so he couldn¡¯t refuse her request to exercise.


    And we have dinner at Hyerim¡¯s house again¡­ ¡­ .


    Only after arriving at his dorm, Yoon-woo can be alone.


    When I came home from dinner, I was concerned about the pile of laundry piled up in the corner.


    If the bunny accepts the gift card, I will hand-wash only the clothes I will wear tomorrow, and if my parents send me living expenses tomorrow afternoon, then I will go to the laundry.


    However, the bunny refused the gift card, and the money was automatically refunded, so now he has money to go to the laundry.


    I don¡¯t plan on using it, but, unfortunately, I have an extra 50,000 won.


    I was supposed to fall asleep after taking the medicine anyway, but it¡¯s more comfortable to have all the things I need to do before that.


    With that in mind, Yoon-woo packed the laundry, pulled money from the atm, and headed to the coin laundry.


    Normally, as soon as I put the laundry in the washing machine, I would go out and go to a coin karaoke room, or at least go out and stand.


    He wanted to become an inanimate object that felt no emotion.


    I hated watching the washing machine run, but wouldn¡¯t it be okay if I put my earphones in and close my eyes?


    Yoon-woo sat on a chair in the corner of the laundry and plugged in his earphones.


    In the earphones, the song Yoon-woo sang in the karaoke room was played over and over again.


    ¡®Don¡¯t leave me until I fall asleep¡­ ¡­ .¡¯ Still, this singer with such a wonderful voice must have someone to take care of him, right?


    I¡¯m tired of even thinking about it.


    While listening to the song, Yun-woo muttered to himself, ¡°I am a chair, I am a desk, I am not a person, I am an emotionless object.¡±


    But even with earphones on, he couldn¡¯t completely block out external sounds.


    Rather, the sound of the song coming out of the earphones was getting smaller and smaller.


    Thump Thump. The sound of the washing machine running, did the washing machine make such a loud noise?


    Thump Thump Thump. Maybe something other than clothes is inside?


    Could it be that a person, young Yoon-woo, is inside and is screaming to be taken out?


    Mom! Sorry! Please take me out!


    Thump Thump Thump. My mother locked me here and went somewhere alone.


    I took off my earphones and looked around, oh my God, there were 7 scary washing machines in this space.


    One is dissolving someone trapped inside by spewing its terrible digestive juices.


    The other six are opening their mouths to swallow someone. That prey¡­ ¡­ . There is only Yoon-woo in this laundry.


    ¡°Heh heh, heh, heh¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    I can not breathe. It¡¯s scary.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s heart beat as fast as the sound of the washing machine.


    Mom screamed at me.


    Dirty bastard! Useless bastard! You have a resemblance to that guy! You¡¯ve been putting that shit on my clothes to make me suffer! Naughty bastard!!


    I¡¯m wrong, no, I¡¯ll do the laundry.


    But, no matter how much I beg, it¡¯s no use.


    It didn¡¯t start from the 4th grade of elementary school.


    From the moment he was born, no one listened to Yoon-woo.


    It was only in the fourth grade of elementary school that he fully realized that no one listened to him.


    Had he known that in advance, he wouldn¡¯t have been begging and shouting in vain.


    It would have been less sad if I had quietly shut my mouth and was beaten.


    ¡°Huh¡­ ¡­ . Ugh¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Water flows from the floor of the laundry. Oh, by the way, it¡¯s not water.


    It is the digestive juice that the washing machine spews. Yoon-woo doesn¡¯t have the strength to run away.


    It seems that someone is beating his heart with a drumstick.


    It seemed as if the concrete had flowed into his stomach and hardened without Yoon-woo knowing it.


    His body was heavy and stiff.


    The scene around him became increasingly dizzying and distorted.


    My limbs were stiff and I couldn¡¯t move.


    I used to think that I should die like that, but why am I so afraid of dying from suffocation now?


    Because you¡¯re alone?


    You don¡¯t have a bunny to die with?


    Are you afraid of grimacing when people find your body lying on the floor alone with a horribly distorted face?


    Do you think the owner of the laundry would consider Yoon-woo¡¯s death as a nuisance?


    Do you regret dying without ever being able to live as a person who is needed by someone?


    Maybe there was never a time when a bunny needed Yoon-woo?


    But it was then.


    Droopy, rumbling. Droopy, rumbling.


    Through Yoon-woo¡¯s hallucinations, a familiar vibrating sound entered Yoon-woo¡¯s ears.


    It was the sound that Yoon-woo had been waiting for every night, supporting Yoon-woo¡¯s life.


    He thought he would never use this app again¡­ ¡­ .


    He was going to erase it when he got home¡­ ¡­ .


    The cell phone was placed on Yoon-woo¡¯s lap.


    While his breath was suffocating, while his hands and feet were not moving as intended, Yoon-woo squeezed his strength and finally pressed the answer button.


    I didn¡¯t have the strength to raise my arm, so I switched to speaker mode.


    Whatever this person had something to say, Yoon-woo had to listen to it.


    But the washing machine was so noisy that I couldn¡¯t hear it properly.


    [Yoon-woo! Knock kung kung kung kung why are you breathing so heavily? Knock Kung Kung Kung]


    [Kung Kung Kung Are you okay? Knock Kung Kung]


    When the bunny calls Yoon-woo, the washing machines become even more angry and start a riot.


    Are you trying to swallow even the bunny?


    Yoon-woo isn¡¯t enough to satiate their hungry stomach, trying to swallow even the bunny¡­ ¡­ .


    It shouldn¡¯t be. Bunny was not a person who wanted to die, nor was he a person who liked Yoon-woo.


    So now even the bunny has nothing to do with Yoon-woo.


    Yoon-woo melts and disappears into the digestive juices in this laundry, and the bunny will escape from this filthy land and live well on fresh and clean land.


    ¡°Huh, huh, bunny¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    But at that moment, someone ran into the laundry room.


    ================================

 Chapter 30

    Someone opened the door of the laundry and ran towards Yoon-woo.


    In Yoon-woo¡¯s distorted view, it was difficult to determine who was running towards him.


    Is this even a person?


    Maybe it¡¯s the man-eating cockroach aliens I saw in alien movies before?


    A terrifying appearance with dripping mucus from the glossy black jaw¡­ ¡­ .


    Even so, it was fortunate that the other party opened the door.


    It might be easier to breathe for him if the digestive juices filled within this laundry leak out through the open door.


    And if the other person is really a cockroach alien, and if the alien eats Yoon-woo and leaves no body, that is the form of death that Yoon-woo most desires now.


    As if Yoon-woo hasn¡¯t existed, even a single piece of bone disappears cleanly¡­ ¡­ .


    The truth is, I wish I wasn¡¯t a person from the beginning.


    I wish I hadn¡¯t been born.


    After Yoon-woo disappears, the few who have contacts with Yoon-woo will soon forget about him, and after a few years, it will be in a state very similar to that where Yoon-woo did not exist in the first place.


    It¡¯s going to be like this anyway, so why did I live 20 years enduring?


    I¡¯ve been thinking about that for 20 years, but my 20 years old body must have been a bountiful meal for the cockroach aliens.


    Suddenly, the figure was standing behind Yoon-woo¡¯s back.


    Though he had accepted death in his head, thinking that the monster standing behind him was, Yoon-woo¡¯s body shrank in fear.


    How painful would it be to be chewed alive?


    In that movie, did the cockroach monster eat people alive or after killing them?


    I do not remember.


    Even though his body was already in a state where he couldn¡¯t move freely, as he withdrew from the monster, the center of gravity of Yoon-woo¡¯s body shifted to the side of the chair.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s body was leaning more and more and it looked like he was about to fall off the chair.


    It was fortunate. If he falls down from his head and gets a concussion, he won¡¯t feel the pain of being chewed alive.


    However, the other party did not let Yoon-woo fall.


    The alien that Yoon-woo thought held him firmly from behind to prevent him from falling off the chair.


    If it dares to catch Yoon-woo who is falling, did the cockroach aliens eat people alive?


    However, the texture on Yoon-woo¡¯s face was neither hard jaw nor sticky mucus.


    The soft texture of the fabric felt from the way it embraced Yoon-woo¡¯s face, and the hard-strength muscles behind the fabric¡­ ¡­ .


    Ah, this guy is giving his arms so much strength to hug Yoon-woo!


    It was definitely a person.


    The smell of the other person¡¯s body mixed with the scent of soap and coffee was fragrant.


    A regular heartbeat could be heard in Yoon-woo¡¯s ears since the other person¡¯s chest was located near Yoon-woo¡¯s head.


    ¡°I¡¯m a bunny, Yoon-woo. It¡¯s okay.. It¡¯s okay now.¡±


    ¡°Huh¡­ ¡­ but¡­ ¡­ ¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, everything is fine, so don¡¯t worry. Now, breathe slowly, don¡¯t breathe so quickly¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    The bunny covered Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes with one arm and patted Yoon-woo¡¯s shoulder with the other hand, repeating the words ¡®It¡¯s okay¡¯, ¡®Breathe slowly¡¯, and ¡®Relax¡¯.


    To Yoon-woo, the current bunny felt like a mother holding her baby tightly in her arms and comforting her to stop crying.


    If I go back to my childhood, has my mother ever been like this?


    At least not in Yoon-woo¡¯s memory.


    In Yoon-woo¡¯s life, a mother¡¯s deep maternal love was like a 42-pyeong apartment in Cheongdam-dong, Gangnam.


    Surely, some people live with it as a daily routine, but no matter how hard they try, they can¡¯t be incorporated into Yoon-woo¡¯s life. This gear doesn¡¯t mean anything as much as blowing air into a broken bike tire, so I don¡¯t even feel envious¡­ ¡­ .


    The sense of relief Yoon-woo felt in the bunny¡¯s arms was something he had never experienced before.


    Perhaps he had a similar experience in his newborn infancy, but it was an experience that had already disappeared from his memory¡­ ¡­ .


    Tears came out, but even those seeped into the sleeves of the.bunny¡¯s clothes that covered Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes.


    I was ashamed and sorry to think that the bunny would later check the wet sleeves.


    In the mind of a person, various emotions form an ecosystem, and they grow and shrink while fighting with each other. But, there seems to be a limit to their fighting, too.


    When a new force of emotion enters and establishes a foothold, the existing force is bound to weaken.


    I don¡¯t know why, but the bunny eventually came to me, and the body temperature of the bunny hugging him, the scent of the bunny, the sound of the bunny¡¯s heart¡­ ¡­ .


    Suddenly, the power of fear and horror slowly lost power in Yoon-woo¡¯s mind.


    The thumping sound of the washing machine gradually diminished.


    To be honest, how could a washing machine make that kind of noise?


    Even if it sounds like that, it¡¯s just that the washing machine is broken. All you have to do is call the owner of the laundry.


    Come to think of it, the other day, the laundry man had written a piece of paper that said the washing machine was broken, and then called the company and got angry. ¡®If it breaks again, I will cut it with an axe! Damn washing machine¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    Thinking of that scene made me laugh. Suddenly, breathing and heart rate returned to normal.


    The bunny was still hugging Yoon-woo from behind, but when he came to his senses, it was too embarrassing.


    Surely there must be CCTV in this laundry¡­ ¡­ .


    Because of people who secretly leave their garbage in the laundry and run away at night, there was a time when the owner of the laundry had a large print of the crime photographed by CCTV and posted it on the wall to warn.


    He is a man with a lot of kindness.


    ¡°Are you okay now, Yoon-woo?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, thank you. I¡¯m fine now¡­ ¡­ . You can release me now.¡±


    However, the bunny pretended not to hear Yoon-woo¡¯s request to release her arm.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I didn¡¯t go in the morning¡­ ¡­ . No contact¡­ ¡­ . Refusing a gift¡­ ¡­ . But I know how you live, how can you give me a gift card? Rather, I want to give you a present¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Why didn¡¯t you come? Also¡­ ¡­ Because I¡¯m not the person you thought I was? Or, you got tired of it a long time ago¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°No! Never for that reason.¡±


    ¡°Then why?¡±


    Well, for one reason, Yoon-woo thought, the fact that the bunny is here right now doesn¡¯t make any sense.


    The situation in which she was hugging Yoon-woo like this was also strange.


    How the hell did she know that Yoon-woo was here?


    ¡°In fact¡­ ¡­ . I went to the appointment before you.¡±


    ¡°Uh? But, there was no one in the bakery ?¡±


    ¡°I was outside. If you doubt it, I¡¯ll show you a picture. I took a picture of you out the window. ¡­ ¡­ I know this is voyeurism, but¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯m sorry¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter, why were you out there? Why didn¡¯t you come? I see. You¡¯re also disappointed to see me¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°No! Not disappointed. Yoon-woo is really handsome like this, and the way you read books seriously is cool¡­ ¡­ . Yoon-woo, you are a much nicer person than you think!¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Are you saying that even when you look at me right now? Alone at the laundry, I made a fuss about what was scary¡­ ¡­ . And, now showing like it¡¯s all gone¡­ ¡­ . ¡±


    ¡°I think Yoon-woo like this is also lovely. As long as it¡¯s okay to hug you, I think it¡¯s okay to keep doing this.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Really? Do you really think so? Aren¡¯t you kidding me?¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡±


    ¡°Then why the hell were you out there!?¡±


    ¡°I was afraid to go out in front of you and show myself. And it still scares me. That¡¯s why I keep covering your eyes.¡±


    ¡°Uh? Why? What are you afraid of?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m scared of how Yoon-woo will actually react when you see me.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve said many times that I really don¡¯t care. No matter who you are, if you really don¡¯t disappoint me when you see me like this, I¡¯ll love you too.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m afraid of that.¡±


    ¡°Uh? ¡¤¡­ ¡­ What does that mean?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m also afraid that the me that Yoon-woo thinks of and the real me are so different that you will hate me. But I¡¯m also afraid that Yoon-woo will blindly follow me, who is not disappointed in you.¡±


    ¡°Why? You said you wanted me to like you.¡±


    ¡°In the morning, I was contemplating whether to go inside or not, but I saw one girl greet you?¡±


    ¡°Why are you talking about that all of a sudden? ¡­ ¡­ I¡¯m not friends with her at all.¡±


    ¡°She wants to be friends with you.¡±


    ¡°Absolutely not.¡±


    ¡°No, that¡¯s right.¡±


    ¡°You said you were outside? Didn¡¯t you hear us talking?¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo, didn¡¯t you even see her face? Can¡¯t you see what kind of face she has when she speaks to you and how sad when she goes back?¡±


    ¡°You got it wrong. She always looks down on me. She wants to enjoy what makes me miserable.¡±


    ¡°No, I didn¡¯t see it wrong. I¡¯m right. Otherwise, why would she look in the mirror before talking to you? Why is she trimming her hair? I thought it was because she was intrigued by the fact that she came out in loose clothes, and she was thinking about whether or not to talk to you, but it seemed like she finally decided to talk to you?¡±


    ¡°How do you know what she was thinking when she looked outside mirror? She¡¯s just a kid who¡¯s really interested in her own fashion. I was worried that it would make me less intimidating because I didn¡¯t dress up as much as usual, and I was worried that I would feel a difference in class.¡±


    ¡°After seeing her, I couldn¡¯t go into the bakery to see you.¡±


    ¡°Why? She really has nothing to do with me.¡±


    ¡°After about an hour like that, a cute-looking woman was sitting in front of you. Maybe that¡¯s the pretty and cute senior you mentioned?¡±


    ¡°What the hell are you talking about? They¡¯re all people who have nothing to do with what we¡¯re talking about! What do you mean you didn¡¯t come to see me because of them?¡±


    ¡°That senior likes you too.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ no.¡±


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you see how lovingly that senior looked at you?¡±


    ¡°She gets along well with many of her juniors. She¡¯s a good person who¡¯s popular with everyone and treats everyone well. She would have also looked at everyone like that other than me, too.¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t that the senior you used to speak with? Would she have wanted to sleep with someone other than you? There¡¯s no one whom she would give that look to.¡±


    ¡°A look? You can¡¯t tell what people are thinking like that.¡±


    ¡°And in the afternoon, you went to the gym after walking around with a nice and pretty girl¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ How the hell do you know all that? Where did you see it all? How long have you been watching?¡±


    ¡°I was always close to you. I kept looking at you. From morning to till now¡­ ¡­ . I can¡¯t help but say it¡¯s stalking¡­ ¡­ . I couldn¡¯t help it. I was sure it would be better if I didn¡¯t appear in front of you, but I still can¡¯t give up¡­ ¡­ . I want to see you a little more¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°What are you giving up on¡­ ¡­ . I have only you.¡±


    ¡°The girl who went to the gym with you, she likes you too.¡±


    ¡°Why do you keep talking like that? Is it all nonsense?¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s a reason I¡¯m doing this, Yoon-woo. I know you¡¯re a little scared and don¡¯t want to open your heart to others, but you¡¯re ignoring other people¡¯s hearts for that reason.¡±


    ¡°Bunny, please¡­ ¡­ . It¡¯s not that I hated it, but I can¡¯t accept that you won¡¯t see me for that reason. You¡¯re all looking wrong. I have only you. As long as you are there, everything is fine¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo, do you like me?¡±


    ¡°Okay. If only I could believe that you really like me¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°I like you, but why do we need such a condition? If the kid in the morning, the senior, and the kid you went to the gym with in the afternoon all really liked you, would you say you like them all?¡±


    ¡°Things like that¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter if that happens or not. I like you whether you like me or not. But are you?¡¯¡¯


    [ T/N: It means she likes him whether he likes her or not. But, Yoon-woo only likes her because she likes him. Meaning if there is also someone other than her who likes him, he will like her too. ]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo, you don¡¯t like me. Cause you don¡¯t know me well. It¡¯s not just me. You don¡¯t know anyone because you don¡¯t see people properly. Because you don¡¯t care how people look at you or how they meet you, you just stare at the ground and walk. Even if others look at you, you keep avoiding their eyes.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Are you thinking what¡¯s the point if you¡¯re going to die anyway? Yoon-woo-ya, I think you like your pessimistic thoughts too much. You just keep trying to settle alone and never try to change the way you think in the slightest bit. Actually, you are a person who can live a little happier. You can hang out with your university classmates, drink alcohol, and make pretty girlfriends. If you don¡¯t have enough money, you might be able to tutor or work part-time at a cafe. If you work part-time at a cafe, you will be popular.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ I said I don¡¯t need it. I said all I need is you. You, please come in front of me, that¡¯s all I wanted. That¡¯s it. Can¡¯t that be the end of the story?¡±


    ¡°It would be really easy for me to have you now. If I just say a few words, you¡¯ll get rid of everyone else and live your life looking at only me. If I ask you to die with me, you will be willing to die with me. But, is that really what you want? It¡¯s not that you like me. It¡¯s just you¡¯re thinking like me. You don¡¯t have to be me, do you? As long as I can give you the belief that I like you, you mean that anyone who meets that condition is okay, right?¡±


    ¡°Even so, the only person like that is you.¡±


    ¡°No. There are several such people. There may be many more than I know, and such people may continue to appear in your future life. But if I pretend I don¡¯t know and let you blindly depend on me, I¡¯ll own you as I please. That¡¯s not what I want. I want you to be happy. And I want you to really like me from your own heart with your own mind without any influence.¡±


    ¡°Can¡¯t we just end it like that? After all, you don¡¯t know whether the world you see is real or the world I see is real. Whoever calls the meaning of love is also different. Everyone has a different idea of ??what they call happiness. What¡¯s wrong with owning it? No one wants me, but if you want me, I can give you everything. Then I will be really happy too. Is that okay?¡±


    ¡°It is not happiness. It¡¯s just a means to escape from reality. I definitely want to be your refuge, but¡­ ¡­ . If I do that, you will use me as an excuse, ignoring everyone around you. I don¡¯t want to be an excuse for your fake happy life. So, I thought it would be better for you to be with them without me. Then, I wondered if you might open your eyes and see the reality someday.¡±


    ¡°No. It¡¯s hard without you¡­ ¡­ . Really. If it¡¯s like this, I can¡¯t breathe¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ I didn¡¯t even know you were like this. You played with pretty girls all day, don¡¯t you think it¡¯s fun?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not fun. It¡¯s tiring. I don¡¯t get it. You don¡¯t want to meet me because you like me? There can be no such person. Okay¡­ ¡­ . let¡¯s just say you are tired of me Or maybe you never liked me in the first place. Or just sympathize with me.¡±


    ¡°No. Then why am I here?¡±


    ¡°It must be because you are a good person. I am a person who calls 911 or gives first aid when I see someone in danger. It¡¯s a plausible conscience that you have.¡±


    ¡°Uhh¡­ ¡­ . Yoon-woo, you are a really very tiring kid to teach.¡±


    ¡°If that¡¯s the case¡­ ¡­ . just say so. It¡¯s harder for me to expect. And, it is more miserable to have hope and get crushed later.¡±


    ¡°If I don¡¯t like you, would I do this?¡±


    ¡°Huh? What is it? uh¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    The bunny¡¯s arm that had been covering Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes fell from Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes for a moment.


    Yoon-woo turned his head to check the bunny¡¯s face, but the bunny quickly moved from Yoon-woo¡¯s back to Yoon-woo¡¯s front.


    Then she covered Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes with one hand again. He felt a bunny¡¯s slender fingers on his eyelids.


    It felt good to feel the bunny¡¯s hands.


    While the bunny¡¯s arm was away from his eyes for a moment, Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes were only briefly touched by the black hoodie sleeve the bunny was wearing and her slender waist.


    For a moment, Yoon-woo was confused as to what the hell he was going to do.


    The bunny hugged Yoon-woo¡¯s back neck with the other arm that did not cover Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes, and pulled Yoon-woo¡¯s head toward her.


    The warmth of the bunny getting closer¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡°What? Uh? What are you doing now¡­ ¡­ . Wait, wait¡­ ¡­ ¡±


    The bunny didn¡¯t say anything.


    Instead, the sound of the bunny¡¯s breathing was getting closer to Yoon-woo¡¯s face.


    The smell of shampoo from the bunny¡¯s hair brushed Yoon-woo¡¯s nose.


    I could feel the bunny¡¯s breathing right in front of my nose, and I could feel the bunny¡¯s body temperature everywhere, including on my face.


    Suddenly, the bunny was sitting on Yoon-woo¡¯s lap.


    Before long, the bunny¡¯s lips overlapped Yoon-woo¡¯s lips.


    Yoon-woo couldn¡¯t see, so he wondered if the bunny¡¯s lips were really on his lips now.


    This situation was unbelievable.


    But those doubts were bound to disappear quickly¡­ ¡­ This is because the bunny¡¯s tongue invaded Yoon-woo¡¯s mouth.


    It was the first time in my life. The mouth and mouth were connected to share air heated by body temperature, and the process of breathing in and exhaling through the nose was felt through the skin.


    Not knowing what to do, Yoon-woo stayed still, neither rejecting the rabbit¡¯s actions nor actively participating in it.


    As if provoking Yoon-woo who was still, the bunny playfully touched the roof of Yoon-woo¡¯s mouth with her tongue and licked Yoon-woo¡¯s lips.


    Surprised by the bunny¡¯s action, Yoon-woo grabbed the bunny¡¯s shoulder and pushed it away from his body¡­ ¡­ He felt his lips become sticky with saliva, but the bunny kept trying to approach Yoon-woo, so he couldn¡¯t take his hands off the bunny¡¯s shoulder, so he couldn¡¯t afford to wipe his lips which were hanging with saliva.


    ¡°What? Why push? Wasn¡¯t that good? Do you hate me doing this?¡±


    ¡°No, that¡¯s¡­ ¡­ . What did you do now? Why are you like this?¡±


    ¡°What am I doing? I told you. When we meet, I will kiss you.¡±


    ¡°Is this a kiss? I thought kissing was not using the tongue¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know if you will believe it, but it¡¯s my first kiss, I wouldn¡¯t do this to anyone, would I? Do you think it¡¯s a joke or a pity for you?¡±


    ¡°That¡­ ¡­ . uh¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Why not yet? Are you still kidding me?¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯m so confused¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Did you hate it?¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­ no. That¡¯s not right¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Then, I¡¯m glad. Would you believe it now? That I really like you.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Yes, I believe. Thank you, bunny.¡±


    ¡°Then, I¡¯ll limit my greed to this point. Maybe you will regret it now, after you¡¯ve become sober. Why did you do this with a kid like me?¡±


    ¡°I won¡¯t. I¡­ ¡­ . The only person who can do this to me is you¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°My purpose is to let people know that I am not a person like that. The more you want me, the more you seem to depend only on me. Just like right now. So¡­ ¡­ . It¡¯s okay to just do this and go.¡±


    ¡°Uh? Are you going? You don¡¯t even show your face? Just like this?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I think so. You¡­ ¡­ . When you get a little healthier, let¡¯s meet properly then.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Contact? Aren¡¯t you going to call me at night?¡±


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t going to do it¡­ ¡­ . But, I also can¡¯t stand it. I wonder if you are suffering so much without me.¡±


    ¡°Thank God. If you¡¯re here, I won¡¯t be like this again.¡±


    ¡°But,.you didn¡¯t tell the hospital about this? Couldn¡¯t they give you some medicine to calm these seizures?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk to the hospital.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°If I get a prescription for a drug, you might cut off contact with me again on the pretext that it¡¯s okay because I have it, right?¡±


    ¡°Uhh¡­ ¡­ . I thought it would be like this. That¡¯s why I thought that the person ¡®bunny¡¯ should disappear from your life¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t do that anymore¡­ ¡­ ..bunny.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay not to show your face, so can you tell me your name? You know my name, but I don¡¯t know your name, so calling you a bunny every day¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°My Name? uh¡­ ¡­ . My name is¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    For some reason, the bunny seemed to ponder for a moment.


    Come to think of it, the bunny seemed to have been avoiding revealing her name.


    When she sent back 50,000 won to me, she sent it under the nickname ¡®Sandok Borem¡¯, and if I don¡¯t get 50,000 won back, she¡¯ll have to send her account number which will obviously reveal her real name to me.


    ================================

 Chapter 31

    ¡°The bunny¡¯s name was Hye-eun..¡±


    ¡®Hyeun¡­ ¡­ . Hye-eun Lee¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    Yoon-woo continued to ponder the name in his mind.


    He stopped repeating the name for even a moment, but he was afraid he might forget it.


    And he was happy to repeat that name. It is the name of the person who first loved Yoon-woo.


    It was much more important than the English words I memorized while preparing for the SAT or the basic concepts of the major that I was reviewing over and over again.


    It was funny that I even went to a psychiatrist for fear that such things would slip out of my head.


    None of it was important.


    Now I know what¡¯s really important.


    The only thing that matters in the world is Hye-eun.


    Other things are irrelevant whether they disappear from my mind or not.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, I¡¯m going now¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ already?¡±


    ¡°Can you just leave your laundry like that? If you leave it wet for a long time, it will smell. I¡¯m also embarrassed to be in this position for a long time¡­ ¡­ . And, I don¡¯t think I can meet you like this yet.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°After you get better, if I can take a good look around, then I¡¯ll come see you even if you don¡¯t like it.¡±


    ¡°How can you be sure that you¡¯ll know when I am better?¡±


    ¡°I know right away. What your voice is like and even where you stay.¡±


    ¡°If, bunny¡­ ¡­ . Hye-eun, what if everything you saw was wrong, and what I perceived to be around me was real? Then I¡¯ll always be like this¡­ ¡­ . If you say you won¡¯t see me until it¡¯s all right, won¡¯t I be able to see you forever?¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo, the people around you never reject you as you think. It will never happen.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s just your opinion.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­..Yoon-woo, you really¡­¡¯¡¯


    ¡°If Hye-eun believes what you see is the truth, I¡¯ll also believe what you see as the truth. But if what I believe is the actual reality, I will continue to fail to meet the conditions you put forward. You like me, I like you too, but I can¡¯t keep seeing you¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯ll believe you now that you like me, but I can¡¯t accept you saying that I like you but I don¡¯t want to meet you.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t say I don¡¯t want to meet you. I want to meet you too. Maybe more than you want to see me.¡±


    ¡°Then why don¡¯t we just meet? You want it, and I want it too¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°You want that? No. I just made you think you want it. I was trying not to be like this¡­ ¡­ . It¡¯s my fault. Still, I really want you to be able to properly face people without being obsessed with me. If you are always in this shape like now, you will always depend on me whenever you see me¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Can¡¯t we meet sometime? I won¡¯t depend on you, really¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°I think this is already dependent, Yoon-woo.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Yoon-woo couldn¡¯t deny Hye-eun¡¯s words.


    It was because he had a strong desire to lean on Hye-eun.


    How can I not feel that way?


    It was the first time someone else hugged Yoon-woo.


    She was the first person to tell Yoon-woo that it was okay.


    Those were the most considerate words for Yoon-woo.


    Because Yoon-woo was always okay no matter what he did.


    I wanted to hear that I¡¯ve suffered.


    At that point, I also wanted to hear that I did well.


    There were many people who boasted that they did well and held a celebration drinking party with their friends even if they passed high school, no, even if they got into a university with lower entrance exam points.


    However, passing high school was not a good thing for Yoon-woo.


    He didn¡¯t tell anyone that he did well.


    He only thought that everyone was disappointed with him.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s efforts to pass the high school lost its value, and only the lack of ability of himself that did not live up to his expectations settled in his heart.


    But Hye-eun said that even such a pathetic Yoon-woo was okay.


    In the coin laundry, she hugged and patted Yoon-woo, who was trembling in fear alone and had an ugly seizure of emotions.


    Hye-eun in this position is in front of him, so why shouldn¡¯t she meet him?


    Why does she have to look at other people?


    Yoon-woo couldn¡¯t understand.


    ¡°Still¡­ ¡­ . I just met someone like you¡­ ¡­ . Now that you¡¯re gone, I¡¯ll just keep thinking of wanting to meet you. Maybe until the next time I see you again. Like seeing each other properly? Will my heart be able to bear it until that time?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­Ah¡­ What should I do with you? I can¡¯t do this¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Can¡¯t we just see each other every now and then? Two or three times a year is fine¡­ ¡­ . I want to live with the hope that I can meet you.¡¯¡¯


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Okay, let¡¯s do that, then.¡±


    ¡°Then, when can we meet next time?¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s meet after Yoon-woo¡¯s midterm exam. How is it? Of course, I¡¯ll cover my face even then¡­ ¡­ . After all, Yoon-woo should also study for the exam soon, right?¡±


    ¡°Ok, fine. Thank you, Hye Eun-ah.¡±


    ¡°Now, I¡¯m really going. I¡¯m going to wear a mask, but I hope you still haven¡¯t seen me yet. So, even when the door sounds, don¡¯t look back for a while, okay?


    ¡°Okay, but how long?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m going to run into the alley quickly and send you a fly kiss, so wait until then. If you look back, I really won¡¯t be contacting you anymore.¡±


    ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll not look back.¡±


    When Yoon-woo answered, Hye-eun took care not to let her hands fall from Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes, and she slowly returned to Yoon-woo¡¯s back.


    Then, she took her hands off Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes and seemed to walk towards the entrance to the laundry.


    Being afraid to cut off contact with her, Yoon-woo did not even look back, let alone open his eyes.


    Then, I heard the laundry door open and close, and I heard footsteps running.


    He didn¡¯t hear her footsteps anymore after Hye-eun went out a little further.


    Still, Yoon-woo did not open his eyes, holding his cell phone with both hands and waiting for the kakaotalk to come.


    Within a few minutes, Yoon-woo¡¯s hand felt a welcome vibration.


    ¨C Now that¡¯s it. You can look back.


    ¨C Are you going home?


    -Huh.


    -How long does it take to get home?


    ¨C I won¡¯t say that. But it doesn¡¯t take very long.


    -Then, is it okay if I go home and call you after hanging up my laundry?


    ¨C Of course.You can.


    -Thanks. I¡¯ll go ahead and contact you. Go in carefully.


    ¨C Yeah, I¡¯ll wait.


    When I opened my eyes and looked around, there was no one in the laundry or outside the window.


    The surroundings were so quiet that I even doubted that the fact that a person named Hye-eun was in this place, was not his hallucinations.


    However, the scent of Hye-eun¡¯s body still remained in the air around him.


    Even in the eyes and neck of Yoon-woo, where Hye-eun had put her hand, the warmth left by her body temperature did not disappear.


    Obviously, someone other than Yoon-woo was here with Yoon-woo.


    Yoon-woo hurriedly packed the laundry and ran to his dorm.


    He wanted to get into the room as soon as possible so that he could call Hye-eun.


    Was the bunny¡¯s name really Hye-eun, the person Hye-eun who had really saved him from his hallucinations, and¡­ ¡­ .


    Did she really kiss someone who doubted her heart? ¡­ .


    Come on, if he didn¡¯t listen to her voice and confirm, it all seemed like a lie.


    Yoon-woo, who arrived in his own room, ran up to the roof, running up the stairs two at a time.


    He usually wears earphones and listens to music while hanging laundry, but now there is no time for that.


    The night wind was strong on the rooftop of Yoon-woo¡¯s room, so socks, panties, and running shirts were often blown away overnight, unless the laundry was securely fastened with clothes pins.


    Facing such a difficult crisis, Yoon-woo hung the laundry slowly, carefully, checking that the clothes pins were not too loose and stayed the way they were even if the wind blew.


    And, whether or not some of his underwear is blown away by the wind.


    Yoon-woo, in a hurry, didn¡¯t even straighten his clothes by shaking them properly before hanging them on the drying rack.


    He seemed ridiculous to even say that he had hung the laundry.


    It would be more appropriate to say that he hung the laundry on the drying rack with clothes pins.


    ¡®I don¡¯t know, I will hang it again tomorrow.¡¯


    With that in mind, Yoon-woo went down the stairs and entered the room.


    ¡°Hello? Hye Eun-ah?¡±


    [ Yes, Yoon-woo.]


    ¡°It¡¯s okay to call you Hye-eun instead of a bunny, right?¡±


    [ It¡¯s ok.]


    ¡°Did you get home safely?¡±


    [ I just came in. But Yoon-woo, have you already hung all the laundry?]


    ¡°Yeah, I wanted to call you, so I did it sooner.¡±


    [ We talked for quite some time at the laundry¡­ ¡­ . Still, you wanted to talk to me so quickly?]


    ¡°Huh. I wonder if it¡¯s all a dream¡­ ¡­¡¯¡¯


    [ Ah, it¡¯s so shameful¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°No, what are you ashamed of?¡±


    [ It¡¯s really embarrassing to come home and think about it. I didn¡¯t originally intend to do this. Kiss too¡­ ¡­ . I didn¡¯t mean to do that, but I really wanted to do it a little on the cheeks¡­ ¡­ . Why can¡¯t I control myself like this?]


    ¡°Thank you. If it wasn¡¯t for you, I also¡­ ¡­ . I also wouldn¡¯t have done anything like that until I died. Don¡¯t blame yourself too much.¡±


    [ No, absolutely not. It¡¯s only for Yoon-woo. A lot of people would be outraged if they knew I did this. What do you think¡­ ¡­ . I really did something embarrassing.]


    ¡°There is no such person¡­ ¡­ . Don¡¯t think about it.¡±


    [ Because there is¡­ ¡­ Ah¡­ I¡¯m a little tired of even saying this now.]


    ¡°But, yes. Hye Eun-ah, can I ask how old you are?¡±


    [ Oh, didn¡¯t I tell you? ¡­ ¡­ .Why? Are you worried that I might be an aunt?]


    ¡°I already guessed that you¡¯re not a minor¡­ ¡­ . I thought maybe you were a delinquent teenager. But with you, that kiss¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯ve done that Because I like it.¡±


    [ No.I¡¯m not a teenager. Have you ever thought that I can also be about your age? ]


    ¡°Huh? Do you know my age?¡±


    [ No, you¡¯re still a college student, aren¡¯t you? I don¡¯t think you¡¯ve gone to the military yet. ]


    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m 20 years old, how about you?¡±


    [ I¡­ ¡­ I am twenty-¡­ ¡­ two years old.]


    ¡°You were older than me? Should I call Hye-eun noona? ¡±


    [ Do not do that. Just call me Hye-eun. But¡­ ¡­ . Is it okay to be older than you? Do you hate it when a girl older than you likes you?]


    ¡°No, it doesn¡¯t matter at all. Thank you so much Hye Eun-ah. Because you like me.¡±


    [ Yoon-woo, then, it¡¯s ok now, right? ]


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    [ Now do you believe that I really like you? ]


    ¡°I believe.¡±


    [ Then, next time, I hope you don¡¯t say ¡®someone like me¡¯ in front of me. Including that, Yoon-woo, I hope you don¡¯t say anything that demeans yourself.]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Did I say that?¡±


    [ Yeah, quite a lot.]


    ¡°Is that so¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯m sorry, so I keep saying things like that even today. But before that, thank you for talking with someone like me for so long. Ah, talking with a person like me is¡­ like¡­ . He doesn¡¯t talk much and it¡¯s boring to talk with him¡­ like that¡­ .¡±


    Conscious of Hye-eun¡¯s words, he tried to say the right words. But, no matter how he tried to correct his words, in the end, he used self-deprecating words.


    [ Yoon-woo, what kind of movie did you see often? ]


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    [ Let¡¯s just say that you have seen one movie which was really fun and moving. Every scene in the movie is meaningful and you can relate to the director¡¯s thoughts, so it¡¯s really good.]


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ What.?¡±


    [ You left the movie theater with such a happy heart¡­ ¡­ . The film director is there. And then he said ¡®Thank you for paying 10,000 won to watch the garbage movie I made. This piece was actually really messed up. But thanks to you, I can make a living.¡¯ How would you feel then?]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [ That¡¯s how I feel, Yoon-woo. Talking with you is a fun and precious time for me as well. I¡¯m not sacrificing for you. You said that at the laundry, right? You¡¯re not ugly at all. You¡¯re such a lovely person, and it¡¯s a pity that you¡¯re having such a hard time. So, I want to keep talking, and I want to keep hugging you to erase your pain even a little bit. But if you degrade yourself in that way, I feel like my thoughts of you and the joy I feel while being with you are nothing more than just garbages. ]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    [ So, if you believe that what I think of you is true, please accept it. Got it? ]


    ¡°Yeah, I got it.¡±


    [ Okay then, good night. You will be tired today. ]


    ¡°Hye Eun-ah.¡±


    [ Huh? ]


    ¡°Thanks. Really.¡±


    [ Ah, what do you mean¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°Good night. Let¡¯s call tomorrow.¡±


    [ Okay. ]


    ¡®Can someone else love someone who doesn¡¯t even love themselves? Respect and love yourself first before you expect others to love you.¡¯


    It¡¯s all lies in order for a person to love himself. In reality, he first needs assurance that he is worthy of love.


    Someone has to convince you that you¡¯re worthy of love first. Whether it¡¯s family, friends, lovers¡­ ¡­ .


    If you think about it, isn¡¯t that a cruel word?


    Someone puts a pottery made with great care on the market, but no one pays for it.


    Porcelain is a pottery made with blood and sweat, but it is not perceived as valuable by anyone.


    To that, you say, ¡®Is it the pottery you made? So, is it okay to keep it beautiful with love and affection?¡¯.


    Pottery that no one buys, pottery that no one gives value to, yet you hug it alone and say, ¡®It¡¯s okay. This pottery is worth 1 million won to me¡­ ¡­ .¡¯ and muttering like a madman? Then, you become really crazy.


    Pricing is not decided alone.


    It is determined by the market. The person who wants to buy and the person who wants to sell meet and decide.


    Some people who come with a lot of money to the auction house raise their bids, ¡®I¡¯ll buy it for 300,000 won!¡¯, ¡®I¡¯ll buy it for 500,000 won!¡¯, and ¡®I¡¯ll have it for 1 million won!¡¯. Only then, the pottery will become worth 1 million won.


    A bid of 1 million won on a piece of pottery only worth 1 million won if someone asks for a bid for that amount.


    Pottery for which no one offers a bid is garbage.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s heart was a pottery that could not be sold.


    In Yoon-woo¡¯s life, not a single person liked Yoon-woo.


    Even if they only called 10 won, they could have taken all of Yoon-woo, but no one called for a bid. Yoon-woo thought his heart was so cheap that no one would take it.


    Yoon-woo, who no one likes, could not like himself, who cannot even be sold for 10 won.


    People can only believe that they are worth it when someone sets a price for them.


    However, in the heart of Yoon-woo, who had not been picked up by anyone, the first person to offer a bid appeared.


    That¡¯s Hye-eun. She even offered a price that was too high for a product that could be taken with just 10 won.


    So, for this moment, it seemed that Hye-eun could think of him as valuable as she hugged, kissed, and said that she liked him even to today¡¯s Yoon-woo.


    He seemed to have been given permission to love her.


    Among the many people in the world, only Hye-eun gave such permission.


    But, she is the only Hye-eun who gives him love and she is thinking the wrong thing.


    Just meeting Hye-eun is like a miracle, and there can be no other person like that in the world.


    Hye-eun is mistaken because she is a very kind person.


    Because Yoon-woo looked good in her own eyes, she thought that other people would see him as good as she did.


    Even though it¡¯ll never happen. Even though there is no such person like Hye-eun.


    Why would you think like that?


    Is it an extension of what she said before?


    Was it true that she wanted Yoon-woo to know that there were fruits other than apples, and that he had to choose one fruit with his own mind to be true love?


    However, one cannot know all the fruits of the world anyway.


    No matter how far and how far he travels, the fruits that he knows are only a little.


    Maybe he¡¯s in a remote place on one side of the world and there¡¯s a fruit that fits his taste best on the opposite side. He has to go for a long time and difficult journey to reach it.


    But, he can¡¯t even go there anyway, so what does it mean to know that such a fruit exists?


    Even if he just doesn¡¯t know them, isn¡¯t that enough if he¡¯s happy to eat the only fruit he knows?


    The only person who likes Yoon-woo is Hye-eun.


    And Yoon-woo is so happy that his mind is overflowing with happiness.


    Yoon-woo can give everything to Hye-eun.


    He can give away all of his love that was stored in his heart, which he had not put on the surface until now, and place it deep inside at the bottom of his heart.


    It would be nice if Hye-eun accepted all of that¡­ ¡­ . Hye-eun thinks she would be too greedy to accept all that.


    People in the world always seem to divide sides based on some criteria.


    Gender, age, religion, political groups¡­ ¡­ . Yoon-woo couldn¡¯t afford to think about such things.


    The standard for dividing the sides that has occurred in Yoon-woo¡¯s life so far was more absurd than anything else.


    The only criteria was whether they like Yoon-woo or not.


    Yoon-woo was always alone on the other side, and everyone other than Yoon-woo was on the opposite side.


    But not now. Now Hye-eun is also on Yoon-woo¡¯s side.


    And Yoon-woo will always be on Hye-eun¡¯s side no matter what happens.


    When I thought about it that way, strangely, the room that I¡¯m staying in now seemed bigger than usual.


    I think I know now.


    Why don¡¯t other people suffer from anxiety that the ceiling would crush them when they¡¯re alone, and why don¡¯t other people panic just because they¡¯re going to be hated for a word when they talk to someone¡­ ¡­ .


    Even if Yoon-woo collapses alone in the room, Hye-eun, who is worried about Yoon-woo, will call 911.


    Even if Yoon-woo is hated by Ji-eun or Hye-rim, Hye-eun will not hate Yoon-woo.


    If there is Hye-eun who likes Yoon-woo, I think I can endure it even if everyone in the world hates and swears at Yoon-woo.


    Before I met Hye-eun, dating people was very scary.


    Even if the other person had a crush on Yoon-woo for a while, she quickly got tired of it and left, it seemed that the remaining Yoon-woo would only grow to hate himself.


    I wondered how strong the hearts of people who broke up with their lover and met a new lover could do that.


    However, Yoon-woo seemed to know the state of his heart a little.


    I just loved this moment.


    If it had been Yoon-woo before this, he would have regretted all the moments that existed until just before he died, and he would have died while hating Yoon-woo who lived in that moment.


    But now, even if I die right away, I don¡¯t think I can hate myself as much as I did before at this moment with Hye-eun that happened today.


    At this moment, I think I can admit that I lived a good life.


    If that¡¯s the case, it¡¯s okay if you don¡¯t have to be with someone when you die. Yoon-woo, it¡¯s okay to be alone because you have happy memories right now.


    So, if Hye-eun gets tired of Yoon-woo and eventually hates it, it¡¯s okay for her to leave. He will be happy enough for Hye-eun and live as long as she wants him.


    It looks like he¡¯ll be able to offset all the unhappy moments in his life with that happiness.


    If Hye-eun eventually gets tired of Yoon-woo and leaves, he would be left alone. And, he has to commit suicide at that very moment.


    Then, at that time, he might die happily.


    It doesn¡¯t matter now whether it¡¯s his parents or anything.


    Only Hye-eun gave meaning to his life.


    No one else is needed.


    Lying on the cramped and rough bed, I could not sleep easily today.


    But the reason for not being able to sleep was completely different from usual.


    If it is normal, because of the anxiety, my heart would be racing because of the stuffy cramped room, and I would take sleeping pills to silence my thoughts of worries for tomorrow and to get sleep.


    But now, he remembered Hye-eun¡¯s body temperature and the touch of her lips as she hugged him, and his heart raced.


    A smile spread across his lips without him realizing it.


    At the thought that he had affirmed that Hye-eun is real, his heart was pounding, and he couldn¡¯t sleep at all.


    Still, I didn¡¯t feel like taking the medicine today.


    I love this overwhelming feeling right now, so I wanted to keep feeling this happiness even if I couldn¡¯t sleep.


    So, Yoon-woo tossed and turned for a while before falling asleep.


    It was a deep sleep different from usual. He didn¡¯t think about any depressing things before he fell asleep. And, it seemed like he had a happy dream.


    Perhaps, ¡­ ¡­ The bunnies and apple trees must have appeared in that dream.


    ================================

 Chapter 32

    As soon as Yoon-woo woke up in the morning, he checked his cell phone first. He wondered if he, who slept on Saturday by taking pills, was still dreaming.


    ¡®Maybe the scenes that I had experienced were just dreams and today is the real Sunday. If so, don¡¯t I have to wash up in a hurry and go out and sit down in a Bordeaux baguette where the bunny may or may not come, and repeat the anxious wait that I had felt from the dream?¡¯


    ¡®Maybe Hye-eun is just a fantasy created by me in my dream, isn¡¯t it possible?¡¯


    ¡®There¡¯s a good chance it is. Because Hye-eun was really like the kind of person I dreamed of ¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    [ T/N: You must¡¯ve read in the early chapters that Yoon-woo dreamed of or thought of Bunny as a kind and caring person in his mind even before meeting her in reality. So, when he meets her, she is the same and caring person he has thought of. So, he couldn¡¯t believe it and thought it was a dream. ]


    But when I checked my phone, it was Monday.


    When I checked my kakaotalk record, Hye-eun¡¯s nickname was still ¡®Sandok¡¯, and I saw a message that Hye-eun sent to me as she left the laundry, saying that I can look behind now.


    When I turned on the voice chat app, there was also a record of me calling Hye-eun as soon as I went home.


    It was all real!


    Hye-eun¡¯s warm body temperature, her fragrant body odor, her kind words that made me cry, and the soft touch that came to my lips¡­ ¡­ .


    In the world, there really was a living, breathing person named Hye-eun who hugged, kissed, and said that she liked Yoon-woo, who was struggling with his breath!


    The morning was bright.


    It was the first time he felt like he was alive.


    For Yoon-woo, the morning was always dark.


    A desperate start of the day. And a day to wait over 14 hours to go back to his room and fall asleep peacefully again.


    Waking up was always painful. Because of the eyes of the people who look at Yoon-woo as an insignificant thing. And, in reality, his life is always insignificant, so he can¡¯t protest at all and just has to stay quiet so that he doesn¡¯t exist in the first place.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s self-esteem, who looked at him like that, was like a broken white blood cell. Instead of defending himself from other dangerous organisms, he poured out degrading words as contagious diseases to himself which were harmful to his body and mind.


    There were people, who would indicate with their eyes: ¡®I ask you to die right now, why would a guy like you stay alive?¡¯ and Yoon-woo was just living with a small muttering, ¡®I¡¯m sorry, please wait for three years.¡¯


    But, it¡¯ll be no from now on.


    Even if everyone in the world, including Yoon-woo himself, looks at him insignificantly, there is Hye-eun who looks at Yoon-woo with her lovely eyes.


    A lawyer named Hye-eun appeared for the first time in Yoon-woo¡¯s heart, where Yoon-woo does not defend himself even though he was a prosecutor.


    And, this is what she says.


    ¡®If you respect my heart that thinks of you as lovely, please don¡¯t belittle yourself like that¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    Just having one ally on my side gives me the confidence to live like this. How do people like Hye-rim, Ji-eun, and Sae-byul feel?


    Wouldn¡¯t hundreds or thousands of trusted lawyers gather in their hearts to support their lives?


    Still, I was no longer envious.


    No matter how many people loved and defended them, for me, I didn¡¯t think there was anyone who was more valuable than Hye-eun.


    Do people like Hye-rim, Ji-eun, and Sae-byul need so many lawyers?


    Do they ever have to stand in court in their hearts as often as Yoon-woo?


    Aren¡¯t they living such a wonderful life?


    I was always standing in the courtroom.


    When I lay alone in bed at night, I begin to sort through the day in my mind by inspecting what I had done and said.


    Then, there was at least one thing that I had done wrong.


    The more I think about it, the more I feel that there was nothing that didn¡¯t bother me.


    When I apologized about them in my mind and reflected on my own like that, I didn¡¯t think that I was living a life.


    It seemed that too many parts were missing to function properly in a machine called life.


    But there will still be some particularly important parts.


    Just as a mini-car can roll with an ugly design even if it only has a motor and wheels. It would be like that in my life too. There will still be parts that make life run as life, even if it¡¯s not a glamorous and pretty life.


    But, a certain part was desperately needed for me.


    However, I did not know what part that I desperately wanted.


    I didn¡¯t know what part was essentially needed to make my life feel like a life.


    But now I seemed to know what it was.


    The part that I desperately needed was Hye-eun!


    ¡®It is Hye-eun. What is she doing now?¡¯


    ¡®She said yesterday that she ran hurriedly to the laundry to comfort me, so maybe she¡¯s sleeping because she¡¯s tired?


    ¡®I want to be in touch in the morning, but I¡¯ll wake her up from her deep sleep. But, it didn¡¯t seem like she¡¯ll stay up all night from her voice yesterday, did it? Could it be that Hye-eun¡¯s day and night returned to normal?¡¯


    I wish it was returned to normal. I will be able to keep in touch with Hye-eun during the day.


    Ever since he opened his eyes, Yoon-woo¡¯s mind was all about Hye-eun.


    Now the first week of October has begun.


    I still have to wait 4 weeks to see Hye-eun again.


    I want to meet Hye-eun soon.


    It doesn¡¯t matter if her face is covered or not.


    I wanted to see Hye-eun to make my life better.


    Once again, he wanted to actually experience that voice, that scent, and that body temperature he felt from yesterday.


    I wanted to narrow the gap between Hye-eun in my head and Hye-eun in reality.


    [ T/N: It may sound confusing. But, I think he wants to see her more so as not to have to worry that Hye-eun is just his fantasy. If he sees her often, then he can completely think that Hye-eun in his head (kind and caring person) and Hye-eun in reality (kind and caring person in his impression on his first meeting) are the same. ]


    It was a pity that I couldn¡¯t focus on Hye-eun properly because I was dizzy yesterday.


    But when I think about it, so far, I have only seen Hye-eun in my ugly state.


    I first whined to Hye-eun about what she will do if she is disappointed with me, and I also told her not to meet me rudely, and I even got angry and wept. But, when I actually met her, I had a seizure and was unable to control my body properly and even had to get comforted by her¡­ ¡­


    Hye-eun told me that she likes me even when I¡¯m like that. But I never know when she¡¯ll get tired of me though.


    Even if she said that she was tired of me right now, I seemed to be able to commit suicide with satisfaction, but still, the longer I can be with Hye-eun, the better it will be.


    Is there any way to slow Hye-eun¡¯s losing interest in me?


    Yoon-woo thought about this and that, but expensive methods such as buying clothes or changing his hairstyle didn¡¯t seem appropriate choices for him.


    Even if he doesn¡¯t use any money in his savings account at the beginning of the month, he doesn¡¯t have time to buy clothes or decorate his hair.


    Besides, in Yoon-woo¡¯s opinion, that¡¯s a way to make cool and pretty people more glamorous, but it didn¡¯t seem like an efficient way for people like Yoon-woo to get attention with his dull impression.


    After much deliberation and thinking, Yoon-woo posted his concerns on the anonymous bulletin board of the school community ¡®Gogopas¡¯.


    Title: What should an ugly man do to decorate himself?


    Main text: I had no sense of choosing clothes and also usually cut my hair myself, but I had an occasion to decorate myself next month. What should I do first?


    Comments:


    ¨C What style do you like? How do we know if you ask a question like this without any information?


    -(Author) 1/ Is your body in perfect shape? (Like six abs). Do exercise more if your body is a little thin.


    ¨C Exercise.


    ¨C Exercise


    ¨C Fix your hangers first before you even think about choosing clothes. If it¡¯s anchovy, it doesn¡¯t matter what kind of clothes you wear.


    (Anchovy: A clothing brand)


    A lot of comments came out quicker than I expected.


    Looking at the comments, the answers are quite understandable.


    But can I change my body shape even a little by the end of October, when I decide to see Hye-eun?


    The thought of wanting to show off to Hye-eun by building up even a little muscle for four weeks made Yoon-woo feel urgent.


    He couldn¡¯t sit still.


    As soon as he got up from bed, he took a sip of water, grabbed his toiletries and headed straight to the school gym.


    Yoon-woo woke up at 7 am, and the economics class started at 10:30, so he had plenty of time.


    However, when Yoon-woo arrived at the gym and changed his clothes in the changing room, he saw a familiar face in the weight zone.


    For some reason, Hye-rim had already come and was doing back squats.


    Seeing her warming up with an empty bar, it seemed that Hye-rim had just arrived.


    Hye-rim recognized Yoon-woo and greeted him immediately.


    ¡°Uh? Yoon-woo? Hello, Yoon-woo! Do you usually come this early in the morning?¡±


    ¡°No, you came a little earlier than usual today.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right! It snowed a little early today, so I came early! That is great. Let¡¯s exercise together.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, okay.¡±


    Previously, it was burdensome for Yoon-woo to exercise with Hye-rim.


    Hye-rim is someone who draws attention around her no matter where she is, so he was so humble even if she was next to him.


    He has become more polite than before when he learned the exercises from Hye-rim.


    For example, while deadlifting, even if Yoon-woo could lift a slightly heavier weight than Hye-rim, his posture was clumsy, and Hye-rim¡¯s posture was beautiful.


    Seeing that, how could a person have everything like that (beauty and even strength), the thought stimulated his sense of inferiority.


    Of course, it is not without such a feeling even now.


    But now, that feeling doesn¡¯t seem to matter much to him.


    Even if people see Yoon-woo as shabby, he only needs Hye-eun to see that he¡¯s not shabby.


    He won¡¯t make Hye-eun hate him just because he¡¯s no better at his sports than Hye-rim.


    With that in mind, he hypnotized the fact to himself that Hye-rim was not a catalyst for the inferiority complex, but a good sports teacher.


    He had thought constantly that he had to exercise as much as he can to make himself look better only in Hye-eun¡¯s eyes.


    ¡°I was going to do back squats today, but what about Yoon-woo?¡±


    ¡°I was thinking of deadlifting¡­ ¡­ . And, how do you do back squats?¡±


    ¡°Didn¡¯t Yoon-woo only do it naked until now? Are you lifting weights now?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Then can I tell you about my posture?¡±


    ¡°Ah, thank you.¡±


    ¡°Then, hold the bar like this and shrug your shoulders¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Hye-rim put aside the warm-up exercises she was doing, and she kindly explained to Yoon-woo how to use proper posture and grip, where the strength should go, and what to watch out for.


    Hye-rim kindly explained Yoon-woo to the smallest detail, and she corrected his posture from time to time. Thanks to that, he learned the posture easily.


    When Yoon-woo¡¯s posture became acceptable, she set the number of repetitions and sets for him and exercised together.


    After that, he told Hye-rim about his finishing stretching movements one by one. Even so, he had an ample amount of time left until his second class.


    ¡°You know, Yoon-woo, if possible, would you like to set up a time to exercise and do this together every morning? I¡¯ll tell you all this. Oh, and don¡¯t be shy, if I make an appointment in the morning, I don¡¯t oversleep and come out to exercise. And, it¡¯s more fun to do it together¡­ ..¡±


    ¡°If you can do that, thanks.¡±


    ¡°Great! However¡­ ¡­ Why are you so active today?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Usually, what you do is, don¡¯t you always plan to run away after exercising a little with me, but what¡¯s the situation now? I¡¯ll have to ask a few times to find out¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­It¡¯s nothing.¡±


    ¡°Nothing?.¡±


    ¡°That is¡­ ¡­ Just, Hye-rim teaches the gym posture so well, I wanted to continue learning in the future. It¡¯s much better than watching YouTube.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. You point out the wrong points right away.¡±


    ¡°But, you always need someone to take care of your posture to grow faster. If you make a mistake by doing it alone, it is difficult to correct it later.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right.¡±


    ¡°You really look brighter today than usual. In particular, yesterday seemed very difficult. Is the hangover over now?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s because I ate well yesterday. The rice you made is delicious.¡±


    ¡°Huh¡­ ¡­ Oh, thanks. Well¡­ ¡­ . Then, how about if we make it to the gym by 7:30 every morning? Can it happen every day?¡¯¡¯


    ¡°Great. Let¡¯s do that.¡±


    ¡°Then I will tell you about the military press tomorrow.¡±


    (Military press: A weightlift in which the barbell is lifted to shoulder height and then smoothly lifted overhead.)


    ¡°Thanks. Tell me a lot.¡±


    ¡°Then, Yoo-woo, will you go home first? Ah, your house is in the opposite direction, so go first. I¡¯ll see you in class later. I¡¯m taking a while¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Nope. I¡¯ll just wait in front of the gym until you finish washing up.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Why?¡±


    ¡°I have something to ask you as I go. Let¡¯s go together.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Yes? The question¡­what is that?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll tell you when you get out.¡±


    Today is the day the cost of living from my parents was coming in. There was something I had to organize and solve quickly.


    Unless it was resolved quickly, it seemed that it would be difficult to live comfortably just thinking about Hye-eun. He wanted to get those worries out of his head as quickly as possible.


    It¡¯s not that serious, but it¡¯s a bit inconvenient to talk because Ji-eun is in Hye-rim¡¯s room at lunch, and after that, in his free time, he has to do the homework for today¡¯s economics class.


    And, even if I talked about it in kakaotalk, my tone was not conveyed, so it seemed that there was a chance that it wouldn¡¯t sound important.


    If that¡¯s the case, I¡¯ll only be talking about it after the 5th period, when the modern business administration class ends. If I solve it now, I may not have to wait until then.


    Lying on a comfortable chair in a modern business administration classroom, I can fall asleep while replaying the memories of last night in my mind.


    If I don¡¯t solve it now, this trouble will keep interfering with the replay of the memory at the time of my rest.


    ¡°Eww¡­ ¡­ . Yoon-woo-ya, the truth is¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°I usually work out, but I don¡¯t wash at the gym. I only wash when I go home¡­ ¡­ . It¡¯s cumbersome to carry everything around¡­ ¡­ . It was only when I decided to exercise with you that I simply brought toiletries¡­ ¡­ . I didn¡¯t bring anything to wash today¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°When I exercise, I sweat a lot¡­ ¡­ . It smells a bit sweaty to go with me¡­ ¡­ . Wouldn¡¯t the smell be even more noticeable when you¡¯re the only one washing up? So after seeing you go, I tried to sneak out¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I didn¡¯t even think of that¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Yoon-woo didn¡¯t really care what Hye-rim smelled like.


    They don¡¯t even have to go that far together anyway.


    He was going to walk a little bit and try to keep it simple by using short words and he was going to break up at the junction¡­ ¡­ .


    But to say ¡®I don¡¯t care¡¯ here is foolish.


    Even if he doesn¡¯t say it, Hye-rim doesn¡¯t care about things like Yoon-woo.


    He can¡¯t admit the fact that Hye-rim wants to smell good while she¡¯s walking with someone.


    It¡¯s a matter related to Hye-rim¡¯s pride and self-love, and has nothing to do with him.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t this something we can talk about when we eat later or during the 5th period? Or if you want, we can talk to each other now. Are you in a hurry?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I just wanted to talk quickly. But, I¡¯ll just talk another time. See you later.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ I¡¯m curious, can¡¯t we just briefly talk about what it is? Are you talking about a secret? There aren¡¯t many people here right now¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m fine with that, but I thought Hye-rim would want to wash up quickly because you¡¯re sweaty.¡±


    ¡°It is, but¡­ ¡­ . just tell me now. We¡¯re both still sweating right now, so you can¡¯t even know the smell. If you go like this, I¡¯ll keep wondering about that for hours. ¡±


    ¡°Ah, you plan to make smoked duck slices, so I was wondering if you were spending more than the food price we set for you.¡±


    ¡°No, if you buy frozen ones in bulk, it¡¯s surprisingly not that expensive, so I bought one. Ji-eun noona also decided to eat with us, she said that living like that is cheap and convenient.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I see. Then I¡¯m glad. I¡¯m always thankful.¡±


    ¡°No, but you just wanted to ask this? Can¡¯t you just ask this at any time?¡±


    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s not really what I¡¯m asking¡­ ¡­ . Hye-rim, I was trying to ask if there is anything you want or want to eat.¡±


    ¡°Uh, huh? why?


    ¡°I want to give you a present.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Suddenly?¡±


    ¡°Hmm.¡±


    ¡°What is the reason for Yoon-woo to give me a present¡­ ¡­ ? My birthday is still far away¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s just, there are a lot of things you usually do for me. Thank you.¡±


    If I told you the exact reason, it seemed that Hye-rim would be angry.


    Because she¡¯s actually been mad at him once.


    Still, it was a problem that had to be solved in order to make him more comfortable.


    However, Hye-rim¡¯s sharp insight has.pierced.that of Yoon-woo¡¯s.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, you¡­ ¡­ no way¡­ ¡­ . You¡¯re not saying you¡¯re going to pay back what you ate from me, are you?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Hey, really, are you really like this? Can¡¯t I even call over you for a meal? But, that¡¯s why we¡¯re eating together in my apartment right now!¡±


    ¡°But, what I got from you back is still more¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Can¡¯t you just accept that as a gift I gave you? I bought you a meal to make you feel good, but now you count them and give them back to me?¡±


    ¡°Then, think of me as giving you a present out of gratitude, not in return for it.¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo, you really¡­ ¡­ . You are usually quiet, but why are you so stubborn about these things?¡±


    ¡°Just¡­ ¡­ . I want to give you back what you gave me. I think that will put my mind at ease.¡±


    ¡°Is that so? First, let¡¯s solve the gift of the arm pillow for 9 hours first! Why don¡¯t you talk about that?¡±


    [9 hour arm-pillow: When Yoon-woo and Jieun got drunk and caught by Hye-rim, she said that she will also use Yoon-woo as a pillow, so sleep with her. I thought it was a joke. But, it was not. XD]


    ¡°That, that¡­ ¡­ . In chronological order, Tutor work comes first, right?¡±


    [Tutor work: Explaining things in classes that Hye-rim didn¡¯t understand]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Okay. In that case, Yoon-woo, you will think about it. And then we¡¯ll talk about it again.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Uh? Do you want me to think about it?¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t it a gift? Think of something that you want to give me, and give it to me. Isn¡¯t that what a gift is like?¡±


    ¡°Aren¡¯t there any gifts to ask in advance for what you want? And that¡¯s better, rather than giving something strange or unnecessary¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Still, I won¡¯t tell you. And, you have to come and eat at my home. Don¡¯t even think about paying back with Tutor.¡±


    ¡°Eww¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°If you don¡¯t want to think about it, you don¡¯t have to give it to me. Just forget it. Oh, how about extending the arm pillow time instead? That might be better.¡±


    ¡°No, absolutely not.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ ¡­ .Okay? Then think hard. I look forward to it.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°If you stay drenched in sweat for a long time, you¡¯ll catch a cold. Wash up quickly. I¡¯ll change clothes before you come out and go first.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Okay.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, see you later.¡±


    Yoon-woo was very embarrassed.


    The reason he dared to bring this up to Hye-rim now was to quickly get rid of the worries about how to pay off the debt owed to Hye-rim for a personal meal at an expensive restaurant.


    Considering the 38,000 won for the steak I ate, the coffee and macarons that Hye-rim gave me during lunch, and the miscellaneous hard work that Hye-rim is doing right now is (Teaching gym postures) because of him, I thought I should give a present of at least 50,000 won.


    I figured out Hye-rim¡¯s demand and thought about it within the budget, and I was going to finish it quickly, but she picked something unexpected¡­ ¡­ .


    Yoon-woo did not have a chance to give a present to anyone in his life.


    He spent all his school days alone, and he never gave gifts to his family.


    Because, everytime he tried to give a present to his mom or dad on his parents¡¯ birthday or Mother¡¯s Day, he was only told not to waste money.


    In fact, Yoon-woo¡¯s parents didn¡¯t even give each other birthday presents for a very long time.


    Such a scene remains only as a vague memory of Yoon-woo before he even went to kindergarten.


    Despite this, being handed over 10,000 won for his birthday was a rare experience for Yoon-woo to feel something similar to love from his parents.


    So, Yoon-woo did not think that he could choose a gift that he and Hye-rim would be satisfied with since he hasn¡¯t given a present to anyone other than his parents.


    When she told him to pick his own, he immediately remembered that she was talking to him when she took him to the restaurant in the same way, but he blocked it right away¡­ ¡­ .


    When he came home and searched for gifts for women under 50,000 won on his cell phone, he found a lot of gifts such as cosmetics, lipsticks, and perfumes.


    Yoon-woo was completely ignorant about these things.


    He gave cosmetics as a gift, but what if it¡¯s completely different from what she usually uses?


    The same goes for lipstick.


    Everyone¡¯s lip color is described for each lipstick, but considering that there are so many different types of lipsticks, it means that each person has their own preferences.


    But isn¡¯t it more rude for Yoon-woo, who doesn¡¯t know such a preference at all, and doesn¡¯t know what color comes out when a certain color lipstick is applied on the lips, to give a gift of any color?


    I heard that some perfume smells bad if you spray it the wrong way¡­ ¡­


    Too difficult.


    Fortunately, Yoon-woo now has someone to ask and consult with.


    If it¡¯s Hye-eun, wouldn¡¯t she give him appropriate advice?


    Anyway, I didn¡¯t decide to give him a present right now, so I might be able to decide tonight after listening to Hye-eun¡¯s advice.


    Still, it was sad that Hye-rim was the first person that I gave a gift to after thinking so hard.


    The person that Yoon-woo wants to give the present the most right now is Hye-eun¡­ ¡­ .

 Chapter 33

    ================================


    [Can you not ask me about that?]


    Contrary to Yoon-woo¡¯s thoughts, Hye-eun did not answer to his concerns.


    He was in trouble. He believed that Hye-eun was his savior.


    So, even after returning home from the gym, he just pretended to search for 50,000 won worth gifts for a woman on his cellphone for a while, and then thought Hye-eun would help him later. So, he put down his phone and studied his lessons.


    He met Hye-rim in class and asked her during his dinner, but she seemed not to care about it anymore.


    Why? I have no one to ask but you¡­ .


    [ I don¡¯t know what kind of girl she is. I know she¡¯s pretty, but how do I know who she is exactly even if I know you? She knows herself best what gift she likes. And, also, you must know her better than me since you met her everyday. ]


    ¡°Me? No, I don¡¯t know. I don¡¯t even know¡­ . kind of person she is¡­¡±


    [ What? Does that make sense? Don¡¯t you guys meet every day? Don¡¯t you guys eat rice together? What does she like, what she¡¯s interested in, you must at least have heard about them, right? ]


    Did I hear that? I don¡¯t think I did¡­ . Even if we eat, we usually talk with that senior, and sometimes we just argue. So, it¡¯s vague.. .


    [ Look, you really don¡¯t listen to what other people are saying, do you? And then, how do you have a naive thought that everyone in the world rejects you? ]


    ¡°That¡¯s Because, based on my past experiences, it¡¯s safe to think that way¡­


    [ So, are you meeting, talking and eating with them just to make you feel comfortable? But, how would they feel if they knew that even though you met them everyday, you didn¡¯t listen to what they were saying? ]


    ¡°Ah. Okay. We¡¯ll talk about that later.¡±


    For some reason, the story progressed in a direction where Yoon-woo was scolded by Hye-eun, so he tried to turn around the conversation in a hurry.


    What do you mean by how they will feel? Do they even want to think about it?


    They would just think ¡®How dare you not listen to us!¡¯


    But wouldn¡¯t I, a servant for them, have ignored everything except the work that they directly told me to do?


    Hey, you bastard! This is how the order of nature works, even in the three kingdoms era. Oh my gosh, don¡¯t you know that?¡­ .¡¯


    [ T/N: This is the thought of Yoon-woo how Hye-eun will respond if he says the line before the above sentence: But, wouldn¡¯t I, a servant, do? ]


    [ The order of nature: Seeing how it is also for the Three Kingdoms era, we can assume that Yoon-woo considered Hye-rim and Jieun as nobles while he, himself, as a mere servant. Simply put, the servants have to care and serve for the nobles, without a mistake, if they want a higher position. So, he also has to serve them if he wanted to get close to them. ]


    So, what can I do? Tell me what I can do.


    Would they have thought about a lowly servant like me? The master would not be hurt by the thought of a lowly servant.


    Ah, anyway, Hye-eun-ah. Wouldn¡¯t there be a gift that every girl would like though? So, for example, Hye-eun, what gift would you like me to give you?


    [ If you¡¯re gonna give a gift to me, anything is fine. Why would I hate it if I felt you worked hard for the gift? I think she¡¯s like that, too. With the conversation you said with her, didn¡¯t she mean it that way?]


    No, it¡¯s because you think with care about me, so you think like that. Not that girl.


    [ Anyways, if it isn¡¯t like that, why would she have bothered you like that? Wouldn¡¯t she just say what she needed right away? ]


    No. She has so many people who will give her gifts. Maybe she can¡¯t even think of what she wants right now. So, she tells me to pick one up on my own, wondering what gift will come out when a guy like me thinks alone and chooses¡­


    Sometimes, princesses in fairytales do such things.


    They have too many gifts..


    They have seen so many rare and beautiful flowers to the point that they suddenly forced other people to bring a rose of a color they had never seen before.


    There are so many things to laugh about and things to be happy about from the people who came to give gifts. But, they can¡¯t raise the corners of their lips for anything, so the kings once again gathered the people from all over the country to make them laugh¡­ . But, the princesses from those fairytales don¡¯t care what kind of effort and devotion the people are preparing gifts with.


    [ Didn¡¯t I tell you not to say ¡®a guy like me¡¯? ]


    ¡°Ah. Sorry, it¡¯s a habit¡­¡±


    [ Isn¡¯t it too unreasonable to say that you don¡¯t know her at all with your own mouth, but think of her intentions that badly? ]


    ¡°It is. But, let¡¯s just say if not, why would she make things so complicated? It doesn¡¯t make sense¡­ .


    [ Ah.. I¡¯m gonna tell you! Yoon-woo, thinking of a gift like this for you means I am being kind to you. But, now, I want you to think about yourself for a while! So, don¡¯t rely on me and pick one! ]


    Hye-eun, you favour me. So you think like that. But, in reality, the people around me are not as friendly to me as you think.


    [ Ah. Yoon-woo-ya, I think I¡¯m going crazy because I¡¯m frustrated. What should I do with you? ]


    Oh right, can¡¯t we just give a gift in cash? Yes, a gift in cash . Isn¡¯t she going to continue to buy major books anyway? And I can give 50,000 won to her easily. How is it? Don¡¯t you think it¡¯ll be okay?¡±


    [ It¡¯s not okay. I dont think thats what she wants. ]


    Even if it¡¯s like that, if she doesn¡¯t like it, she won¡¯t hate it, right? Isn¡¯t it convenient? You can use it easily. Why didn¡¯t I think of this before? If she doesn¡¯t accept cash, why don¡¯t I wrap the cash in a wrapping paper and give it to her? Because cash is wrapped in gift wrapping, it¡¯s gift cash. That¡¯s right, in the future, whenever something like this happens¡­ .


    [ No! Never do that! She will hate it no matter what. And, I think she¡¯ll be more angry than you had thought. She is going to get mad at everyone around her! ]


    But, I think it will be fine .


    [ If you choose that as a gift, I will mad at you first. ]


    Why are you¡­? Then, what should I buy¡­


    [ Why? Don¡¯t you think there are a lot of things to give as a gift? Think carefully. You can buy clothes.]


    I don¡¯t know her size. And I don¡¯t know any women¡¯s clothes, and it¡¯s also a gift¡­ . I have no eyes to judge clothes¡­ .


    [ Then it¡¯s getting colder these days, so how about a scarf or gloves of any size? ]


    Is she going to use what I gave her? Maybe not? And, if I ever happen to gift her, I think I¡¯m gonna keep thinking if she¡¯s gonna use it or keep it in her room all the time. And, I don¡¯t want to worry about it for nothing.


    [ No way. Uh, So how about something like a mushroom bath thing for girls? A pretty popular one this time too. ]


    You want me to give the girl bath supplies? Don¡¯t you think she will consider if I¡¯m a pervert or not?


    [ Then, what about cosmetics and perfumes?]


    I don¡¯t know anything about cosmetics, and I don¡¯t know her taste at all, and if I buy something strange?


    [ Well then, a doll or something ]


    A doll for such a grown-up girl?


    [ Uh. . Hey. ]


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    [ Just go pick with her. ]


    ¡°Uh?! No. She told me to choose by myself¡­ .


    [ But, with the situation now, I assure you, you can never choose a proper gift by yourself. You can¡¯t think of a proper gift now, right? ]


    ¡°That, yeah, it seems like that.. .


    [ Just meet her tomorrow and tell her to go pick up a present together. ]


    But, won¡¯t she be going to say no? Because she told me to choose by myself.


    [ No, I don¡¯t think so. Don¡¯t you think she¡¯ll say okay if you¡¯re having a hard time for her? Ask her at least once.]


    But, it¡¯s like I¡¯m squirming. She is famous for being an iron-wall girl, especially to men. She seemed to hate it when men approached her that way.


    [ Uhhh, Yoon-woo.]


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    [ Are you now worried about how she will react to what you say or do? ]


    ¡°Uh? Huh. That¡¯s¡­of course¡­


    [ But, you said last time, that girl, senior, or people who have nothing to do with you, didn¡¯t mean anything to you. So, do you need to worry so much about people who you don¡¯t care will gonna hate you or scorn you? ]


    ¡­


    [ If you reduce those worries, you can just choose something boldly, right? Whether she hates the gift you choose or not, what do you lose? Just pick some! ]


    But, it¡¯s scary though.


    [ What? ]


    Actually, I don¡¯t want her to hate me. Besides, we keep taking classes together, and it will be more difficult if she spreads rumors. Even if anyone doesn¡¯t like me, I don¡¯t want anyone to hate me.


    [ Yoon-woo. No matter what you do, there will be people who hate you and people who like you. Still, even if someone hates you, I¡¯ll always be by your side ]


    Thanks.


    [ Can¡¯t the existence of me encourage your confidence? Don¡¯t you think people will accept you even if you make some mistakes? ]


    Yes, you are my source of confidence. Still, I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m scared.


    Yoon-woo believed that he liked Hye-eun.


    Every time he thought of it, he was filled with a sense of happiness he had never felt in his life.


    But he didn¡¯t think Hye-eun¡¯s heart would continue like that forever.


    She can toss him at any time, and she can always dislike Yoon-woo.


    Only Hye-eun at this moment is special.


    She was like a person he had thought so, so he couldn¡¯t accept the fact that Hye-eun only liked him to help build his confidence.


    [ Besides, if you only just said a few words like: ¡®I¡¯ve been thinking about a gift, but I can¡¯t really choose it, can¡¯t we just go pick some together?¡¯, do you think she¡¯ll get mad ? She¡¯s the one who asked you to pick a present for her, isn¡¯t she? Isn¡¯t it absurd to take this for her as a joke? And, I think she won¡¯t think you are flirting with her¡­]


    I don¡¯t know, I can¡¯t judge. But, Hye-eun, being with you gives me great strength¡­ I wish I could talk to you more often.


    ¡­


    Hey, Hye-eun. Hasn¡¯t your lifestyle returned to normal now? If you¡¯re not busy¡­If I can contact you also during the day¡­


    [ No, you can¡¯t think like that, Yoon-woo. Don¡¯t think of me as a way out. ]


    Uh. Do you have anything to do during the day? If it¡¯s okay¡­ Even if it¡¯s just a little time¡­


    [ You can¡¯t, Yoon-woo.]


    Yes?


    [ Tomorrow immediately, tell that girl, as I said earlier, let¡¯s go pick a present together. And don¡¯t contact me until then.]


    Uh? Don¡¯t contact you? Hye Eun-ah? Wait, why?


    [ Don¡¯t you dare contact me saying you did it when you didn¡¯t do it? I hope Yoon-woo does not deceive me, Okay? ]


    Eww.


    [ Then, you do that, your answer? ]


    Does it have to be tomorrow?


    [ Yes. It must be. So, go to sleep. I¡¯ll cut the call now. ]


    ¡°Uh. Aww. Good night.


    I didn¡¯t know that she would push me back this far.


    It¡¯s tomorrow.


    Why is gift cash not allowed?


    Yoon-woo didn¡¯t know that the phone call with Hye-eun would end today only talking about what kind of a gift to give to Hye-rim.


    He thought before his chat that Hye-eun would agree if he said ¡®Yes? Can I give her xx?¡¯ and the story is over as soon as she agrees, and after that, he will have a pleasant chatter with her as usual, and thought that he was going to fall asleep later.


    Based on the conversation he had with her now, Hye-eun was too kind and gentle to him.


    So, her optimism about my friends is also strong.


    She sees the relationship between me and the people around me in a very positive way.


    She said that I am a kind person and that other people will also think like that.


    But, it¡¯s not really like that at all¡­


    Even if Yoon-woo makes some mistakes, will people accept it? But, what is a ¡®mistake¡¯?


    How much is a little mistake?


    What is a forgivable mistake?


    Who sets the standard for mistakes that can be skipped over?


    The reason Hye-eun can think like that is because she has lived while receiving such forgiveness.


    Could it be that her mother, who said she had already passed away, was such a merciful person?


    However, for Yoon-woo, he had never met a person who could forgive him.


    He had to pay the price for even one small mistake without hesitation on his part.


    Even when it wasn¡¯t his fault.


    Falling down and dirtying his clothes which had been met with punishment by his mother, telling the girl he liked that he liked her when he was in fourth grade, were unforgivable mistakes for Yoon-woo.


    Neither his mother nor Hye-rim Cho, a fourth grader in elementary school, would forgive Yoon-woo.


    So, what about Hye-rim Cho, a freshman in college, will she be different?


    The world Yoon-woo has seen was much crueler than the world Hye-eun has seen.


    No matter how much he thought about it, it didn¡¯t seem like he would get good results by doing what Hye-eun told him.


    Even so, he can¡¯t help but listen to Hye-eun.


    Because contacting Hye-eun was the most important thing for him.


    He can¡¯t lie to Hye-eun just because Hye-eun doesn¡¯t know about Hye-rim.


    Hye-eun told him that she told him only the truth, but sometimes she lies. But, even when she does that, she did that for good intentions.


    But if he gives Hye-rim gift cash and tells Hye-eun that he did what Hye-eun told him, is a lie not for Hye-eun.


    It doesn¡¯t matter even if he did that to protect himself.


    Such lies would surely pollute the relationship between Hye-eun and him.


    Even now with Hye-eun, his life is still a life of standing on the tip of the cliff.


    And, Hye-eun is a lifeline that holds Yoon-woo¡¯s waist tightly.


    It¡¯s an anxious life because the ground he is standing on could collapse at any moment, but if he has Hye-eun, he won¡¯t fall down from the cliff.


    He will somehow be able to hold on to his lifeline and hold on.


    For example, if Hye-rim, who accepted Yoon-woo¡¯s suggestion to go to pick up a gift with him with a mixture of angry spirit, began to swear at Yoon-woo, and then the current situation of having every meal together will collapse and the relationship with Ji-eun will break down. Even if it did happen, won¡¯t Hye-eun still keep in touch with him during the night?


    She¡¯s Hye-eun, so wouldn¡¯t she admit that she was wrong about her suggestion?


    Wouldn¡¯t it be nice if she¡¯s wrong to see Yoon-woo¡¯s situation only optimistically, and say she¡¯s sorry for making Yoon-woo¡¯s life fall apart and call him during the day for compensation?


    Wouldn¡¯t it be possible that she will show her face and meet with me?


    Thinking about it, he thought it was a better situation for him.


    If I put up with the pain for a moment, my life might be better.


    If Yoon-woo¡¯s daily life has to be ruined to meet Hye-eun, then it doesn¡¯t matter if this precarious daily life, with a lot of incontinence, falls apart.


    With that in mind, he had no reason not to obey Hye-eun.


    As soon as tomorrow morning, after his workout, he decided to get his words out to Hye-rim.


    He thought it was a pity that she couldn¡¯t learn the sports from Hye-rim anymore with upcoming situation


    [ Upcoming situation: Buying a gift with her. Yoon-woo had thought Hye-rim will gonna swear and stop being friends with him if he asks about that and went with her. ]


    But, even with what he has learned so far, it seems that there will be no problem in growing his body.


    However, he is still worried as he imagines a situation in which all relationships will collapse with a single word of his own, because he was afraid of a backlash from breaking the relationship with Hye-rim and Ji-eun.


    So, he had to be prepared to say every word nicely.


    In fact, it was difficult for Yoon-woo to think of Hyerim and Ji-eun as completely unrelated to him in his heart.


    People passing by on the street, classmates who secretly whisper and gossip about Yoon-woo during the class are normal people.


    But, Hyerim and Jieun are completely different kinds of people.


    Hyerim and Jieun are more complete as human beings than other people.


    So, Yoon-woo, who is used to being alone, was building a defensive line towards them in his heart.


    He built a wall and secured a way out by telling himself: ¡® It¡¯s okay without these people, These people are not important to me¡¯


    They are such attractive people, so it seemed that if he opened his eyes just a little, they would soon enter his heart.


    What if he thought of them as friends?


    What if I do them a favor?


    Then they will become the protagonists of his life, a guy named Yoon-woo¡¯s life.


    Even in his own life, Yoon-woo has been a supporting actor all the time.


    So, in the lives of Ji-eun and Hye-rim, Yoon-woo¡¯s existence is nothing more than a background, let alone a supporting role.


    Because Yoon-woo¡¯s existence is too light for them, they will not care about him if even a moment¡¯s mistake will destroy the relationship with him.


    Even without such mistakes, the relationship between them can quickly wither and disappear.


    Then, what will happen to Yoon-woo?


    What if the main characters, whom he considered the most important in his life, looked at him like a worm as soon as they break the relationship?


    Or what if they can¡¯t even remember my name properly?


    For those who are important to Yoon-woo, it is really painful for Yoon-woo to know that he is not important to them at all.


    So, Yoon-woo decided not to consider anyone important.


    Of course, his own heart doesn¡¯t work that way, but he¡¯s been trying to pretend that he doesn¡¯t care about anyone.


    It¡¯s okay if Hye-rim hates me. It¡¯s okay if Ji-eun noona doesn¡¯t even look at me anymore.


    Yoon-woo closed his eyes as he stopped his thoughts.


    He took a bedtime pill to sleep today. Before he went to sleep, he wondered ¡®If Hye-eun was there, I thought I wouldn¡¯t need to take the sleeping pills anymore¡­¡¯.


    The next day, Yoon-woo met Hye-rim at the gym early in the morning as promised.


    He was determined to never see her again.


    ¡°Hyerim, I can¡¯t figure it out on my own, but later. Why don¡¯t we go pick up a present together?¡±


    ¡®What is this bastard doing? Do I look easy because I get along with him a little? ¡¯(Yoon-woo¡¯s Thoughts)


    The scene of shopping with Hye-rim never comes to mind, but the scene where she swears at him comes to mind like repeating a scene from a film.


    ¡°Yoon-woo-ya, you have to pull your chin out there. Lift the barbell straight up and naturally ¡°


    How can other people talk so easily?


    How do they tell other people to go to a cafe together, drink together, or go shopping together?


    Why aren¡¯t they afraid of being rejected?


    ¡°Yoon-woo, did you bring everything to wash today? Could you please wait a moment? Let¡¯s walk together to the intersection.. .¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s great.¡±


    ¡°Then wait a minute! I¡¯ll take a shower quickly!¡±


    ¡®Its okay, Hye-eun is always there for you. You don¡¯t have to be afraid because, if you just put up with Hye-rim¡¯s insults here, you can meet Hye-eun more often¡­ .¡¯


    Mumbling that inwardly, Yoon-woo eagerly persuaded himself like that to reduce his fear, and waited for Hye-rim.


    After taking her shower, Hye-rim came out of the gym.


    ¡°Thank you for waiting. Although I said it would be quick.¡±


    Hye-rim¡¯s hair was wet because she couldn¡¯t dry her long hair.


    The scent of shampoo spread stronger than usual because she had just washed it and came out in a hurry.


    Although she was dressed in sweatpants and a loose hoodie, people from the reading room who passed by glanced at Hye-rim.


    To those people, now Hye-rim might look like a mermaid who has just finished her deal with the witch and swallowed the pill and transformed into a human.


    But if it is a mermaid, no matter how pretty she is, she will smell a little fishy. But Hyerim, a human from the start, would smell better in that regard.


    But, he was tired of worrying about her right now. All the thoughts about her response ran through his mind.


    ¡°There you are, Hye-rim. ¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    Yoon-woo concentrated, trying not to shake his voice, and, as Hye-eun instructed, brought out the prepared words nicely.


    ¡°About a gift, no matter how much I think about it, I don¡¯t think I can choose it with my own head. I¡¯ve never given anything to anyone, so I have no idea what you like. So I mean¡­¡±


    ¡°But, it really doesn¡¯t matter to me. But, is it true that you have never given a gift to someone? Really?¡±


    ¡°Huh¡­ Yeah. ¡±


    ¡° Ah¡­That must be so awkward and funny for you. ¡±


    Seeing Hye-rim¡¯s reaction, the words of self-help which he prepared readily revolved in his mind.


    ¡°So, What is it?¡±


    ¡± That¡­ When you have time later¡­ Why don¡¯t we go pick it up together? If I choose by myself, it¡¯s probably a little¡­ I don¡¯t think the results will be good¡­ so I thought it might be better to go with you.¡±


    ¡°Uh! Wait a minute.¡±


    As expected, there is no way she can just accept it calmly.


    As soon as I hear her refusal, I will immediately enter the men¡¯s bathroom. And as I sit on the toilet, I have to send Hye-eun a message saying that her idea is wrong.


    It was the idea Yoon-woo thought up.


    ¡°I have a compulsory liberal arts class in the first period today, and so¡­. Yoon-woo, Are you okay in the 2nd period? About half past ten! Do you have class this morning? In the afternoon, I will continue to have classes¡­ But, wouldn¡¯t an hour and a half be enough? Or should we go tomorrow afternoon or on the weekend? But where are we going?


    ¡°Ah..¡­.that is¡­¡±


    It was a completely unexpected reaction. Come to think of it, I didn¡¯t have anything in mind for this situation.


    He thought about what Hye-rim would curse, how he should react when she heard the curse, and he thought hard only about those things.


    Don¡¯t tell me that we were really going somewhere together¡­ .


    ================================

 Chapter 34

    ¡°How about we go to the shopping mall near Ji-eun¡¯s house? And, there¡¯s a way to get there. But, it would take quite a while though¡­ ¡­ . Then, shall we go on the weekend? ¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    I can¡¯t do that. To bring this matter to the weekend is not what I wanted.


    Today is Tuesday. So, the weekend is still far away.


    If I follow Hye-rim¡¯s suggestion, I will have to keep thinking about this for the time being.


    And, even worse, when I have my peaceful conversations with Hye-eun, I will still be thinking about this problem until the weekend comes.


    The shopping mall near Ji-eun¡¯s house is the place I have known since we went to see a movie together last time.


    It is a large shopping mall with a movie theater on the top floor.


    It has 15 floors above the ground and 2 floors below the ground.


    She wants to go there?


    On the weekend, people will be swarming around, right?


    Besides, it¡¯s not just walking in that wide space.


    While following her like her servant, I have to constantly keep an eye on her to see the things that she wants to watch.


    I may have to ask questions like ¡®Do you like that?¡¯ or ¡®Should we buy that?¡¯ for dozens of times.


    What¡¯s more, the last time at the shopping mall, while we were waiting for Ji-eun, she kept wandering around the shops.


    So if that happens, I¡¯ll never know how many hours her shopping will take.


    I will also feel embarrassed that I will have to talk to the clerk at the store about buying a gift for her.


    No matter what it is, it was too difficult for me to have to go around the shopping mall on the weekend with Hye-rim until she was satisfied. It would definitely be a problem for me since the mall would be crowded and her figure would obviously attract people¡¯s attention to us.


    So, in order to not to do that, I need to present an alternative method right away.


    Is there a place where you can finish shopping quickly in an hour and a half, and sell stylish things that someone like Hye-rim would like?


    But, why didn¡¯t I think of this from the start?


    It sounds like I have only studied the 1st subject for the exam where I also have to study and prepare 2nd, and 3rd subjects to pass the test.


    If making a proposal to Hye-rim was the first subject, the second subject would be to choose a place that Hye-rim would like, and the third subject would be for Hye-rim to choose her favorite thing.


    However, I was focused only on the fact that I would fail the 1st subject immediately, so I forgot the existence of the 2nd and 3rd.


    It was very pathetic.


    However, in his head, one such stylish shop came to mind.


    If you walk a little from the front of Yoon-woo¡¯s dorm, you will find Anam Five-way Intersection, and there is a ¡®UST¡¯ store in the alley on the left which leads to the residential area.


    ¡®UST¡¯ store is an accessory store that deals with low-priced necklaces and rings for young people.


    Earlier this year, I passed by when I was wandering around looking for a place to live near the university.


    And even after I found a room for myself at the beginning of the semester, when I saw the expensive prices of vegetables from the grocery store in front of my dorm, I had to find another grocery store around my house and buy vegetables from that. And, I passed by the store again.


    The second time I passed the store, I peek inside the store through the glass wall out of curiosity.


    It was written that a collaboration event with anime was in progress, but I was curious about how the accessory store collaborates with animation.


    Because it was the beginning of the school year and the store was in a remote location, there weren¡¯t many people in the shop. And, the clerks were playing on their cell phones, so I was able to look inside without noticing.


    Looking at the products on the shelves which were behind the glass walls, most of them cost less than 50,000 won, but their sophisticated design stood out.


    So Yoon-woo thought that young students would be the main customers of this store.


    And, an animation collaboration event in such a shop?


    The animation was familiar to everyone, it was an animation for children.


    They wouldn¡¯t draw characters directly on products like children¡¯s products, would they? ¡­ ¡­ .


    Did they develop a product for children because the economy was not good?


    I thought about it for a moment, but the collab display stand was not clearly visible from outside the glass wall.


    After all, the accessory shop was a place that had absolutely nothing to do with my life, so I immediately cut off my interest and passed by.


    But, in this situation, it seemed like a pretty bad place.


    Of course, Hyerim may be financially able to afford to wear gold or silver-studded jewelry, but wouldn¡¯t a college freshman be interested in that?


    Even if Yoon-woo doesn¡¯t have a good eye, the fact that such a store exists means that there is a clear demand from young people, right? And, Hye-rim is the one who chooses the items anyway, so wouldn¡¯t it be okay?


    Despite such thoughts, my mouth did not say the words that he wanted easily.


    It was because I thought giving the accessory gift had a special meaning.


    Lovers give things like couple rings¡­


    Does the ring have some meaning? If so, are there any accessories other than rings?


    The necklace is also worn around the neck, so it seems to have some meaning¡­ ¡­ .


    If so, wouldn¡¯t the suggestion to go to an accessory shop together itself be a problem?


    Those things were Yoon-woo¡¯s concerns.


    I wish she could give me a chance to search on my cell phone or call Hye-eun for 5 minutes¡­


    Yoon-woo was thinking like a quiz show participant, but Hye-rim did not give Yoon-woo a chance to do that.


    ¡°Then, we are going to do that, right? If we meet after lunch and walk around¡­ ¡­ No, I will ask Ji-eun unnie for forgiveness later. So, shall we eat lunch there? See you in the morning¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    It seemed like Hye-rim was planning on going around the mall for a very long time.


    If he tells her to go to ¡®UST¡¯ store right now, he has many advantages if Hye-rim accepts the offer.


    If you go to a small accessory store rather than a large shopping mall, the time required will be much shorter.


    Because there aren¡¯t many things that she can choose.


    Hye-rim chooses the one she likes, and he pays the money.


    He won¡¯t even need to ask what she likes.


    Just being a living ATM for a while.


    She didn¡¯t choose while considering him anyway, so after leaving the shop, he doesn¡¯t have to care at all whether Hye-rim likes the accessory or not.


    Then, this problem will be over tomorrow morning, and he will be able to spend the day while waiting for a comfortable conversation with Hye-eun again.


    However, the risk of making such a proposal is also great.


    What if Hye-rim said, ¡®What? You want to go there with me? Do you think I¡¯m so cheap?¡¯. There is a possibility of reacting like that.


    And, Yoon-woo remembered Hye-eun¡¯s words to go with Hye-rim to pick a gift.


    Yoon-woo had thought that he was someone he didn¡¯t care about except for Hye-eun, but he was still concerned about the reactions of others.


    Come to think of it, if Hye-rim curses me and if I¡¯m isolated, Hye-eun will definitely lend her hand to me


    Then, I will have more time to spend with Hye-eun, so it is a rather advantageous situation for me.


    But at the same time, if I fear that my relationship will be cut off with Hye-rim and go to the shopping mall on the weekend with her, then my thoughts that only Hye-eun is important to me will contradict with this behavior.


    If I think about it rationally, yes.The first choice is right. However, my heart always seems like a 5 years old child.


    I can¡¯t figure out what the hell is right and what is wrong.


    Even if the reason in my head tries hard to persuade with appropriate logical words, I cannot understand it.


    The first choice is definitely the right one, but the fear of receiving contempt from Hye-rim is making me tremble with fear.


    I cannot help it. Before my mind can control my emotions, I have no choice but to spit out the words I thought of carefully¡­


    With that thought in the end, Yoon-woo opened his mouth.


    ¡°You know, Hye-rim, let¡¯s not do that¡­ ¡±


    ¡°Huh? Don¡¯t do that? Why? Do you have any plans for the weekend?¡±


    ¡°No, because there is a ¡®UST¡¯ store near my house I wondered if you want to go there. ¡±


    ¡°Uh?¡­Are you, perhaps, talking about the accessories store?¡±


    ¡°Hmm.¡±


    ¡°¡­So, what are you trying to give? Maybe a ring or a necklace or¡­ something like that?¡±


    ¡°Anything that you like.¡±


    ¡°Um¡­ Then, do you want me to wear something like that? Like a ring or a bracelet¡­¡±


    Yoon-woo had no thoughts about that.


    Because Hye-rim will be pretty no matter what she wears and what she does.


    Maybe even if Hye-rim puts a tack in her ear or wears her apartment¡¯s bathroom key on her wrist, people will think of it as a fashion.


    And, Yoon-woo thought of an accessory store because it was the only place that came to mind quickly and also easy for prices and things to arrange.


    ¡°Me? I¡­ ¡­ Well¡­ ¡­ . It¡¯s more important whether you want to wear it or not than what I think.¡±


    ¡°No, this is also important. So, tell me. Do you think it would be better for me to wear an accessory?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ . Well¡­. I don¡¯t know¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°What! Why is your answer like that? Weren¡¯t you going to give me an accessory gift?¡±


    ¡°That¡­ ¡­ . I think it will suit you no matter what the thing is. Even if you go without wearing anything like now, you¡¯ll be pretty. So, shouldn¡¯t you just care about what you like?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ . Am I pretty? Do I look pretty in Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes?¡±


    I don¡¯t know why she is asking this.


    Even if she did not receive confirmation from him again, she would have lived her life receiving all kinds of praise from people, but it seems like she wants to hear praise from him.


    ¡°Yes, you¡¯re pretty. ¡±


    ¡°I¡­ ¡­ . I just wanted to know if i somehow look ugly in Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes ¡°


    ¡°No way.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­Then, why don¡¯t you tell me that sooner? ¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ . didn¡¯t I say last time at the restaurant¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve only said, ¡®Which man in the world hates you?¡¯.


    ¡°You only spoke vaguely with ambiguous words! You never said that I was pretty!¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯m sorry. It¡¯s hard to say¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Compliments are not always good.


    Sometimes it can be a flirtation from a boy disguised as a compliment, or a sexual harassment to a girl.


    ¡®Hye-rim. You are so pretty.¡¯ Will she think it¡¯s a compliment?, or will she think it¡¯s sexual harassment?


    You have to be really careful about complimenting someone¡¯s appearance.


    In high school textbooks, there was a scene in which the parents from old times were suspicious of the suitor¡¯s family to their daughter since they have been flattering them. So, they even mock them by saying ¡®People should not be praised for their virtues¡¯.


    Even if the times are different from back then, there may be some people who do not want to receive compliments from anyone.


    And, there is a set of people who want to praise you and the one who wants to be praised.


    But, Yoon-woo, who could not understand it, always kept his mouth shut.


    If I just stay quiet, I won¡¯t have to praise anyone and no one will praise me either.


    ¡°Well¡­based on your personality¡­ ¡­ . Never mind. Don¡¯t worry about it. We can go after my class, that¡¯s okay, right? So, where is it? I guess I didn¡¯t see it before?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s near the Anam Five way intersection, not far from my dorm.You can wait in front of my room after your class. ¡±


    ¡°Okay, then I¡¯ll go to your room after the class.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    Done. Everything worked out.


    I can liquidate all debts with Hye-rim after a few hours.


    Yoon-woo was so relieved that he even said goodbye to Hye-rim when they parted at crossroads.


    However, because there is a reliable lifeline called Hye-eun, Yoon-woo was vigilant again.


    I forgot for a moment that things in the world don¡¯t always go the way I want.


    Especially when I met Hye-rim, things never went the way I thought they would.


    Yoon-woo came home and studied the lessons with a relaxed and cautious mind, but at 10:22, he received a call from Hye-rim and left the house.


    The ¡®UST¡¯ store wasn¡¯t too far away.


    If Hye-rim just picks up quickly or if the store has Hye-rim¡¯s favorite which will also catch her eyes, can¡¯t I return to my own room within 20 minutes?


    Yoon-woo thought so.


    It was only after he entered the store that he realized that he thought too easily.


    For some reason, Hye-rim didn¡¯t even think about looking at the products and stood still.


    ¡°¡­ Hyerim? Don¡¯t you choose?¡±


    ¡°Huh. I won¡¯t choose.¡±


    ¡°Uh? ¡­ ¡­ why? Are the accessories too bad?¡±


    ¡°No, not that¡­ ¡­ . I wish Yoon-woo would pick it for me. I want to go with what you chose.¡±


    ¡°But, I don¡¯t have eyes like this¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. You were originally supposed to choose a gift for me, weren¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°But wouldn¡¯t it be better for you to choose by yourself? Because you know better what suits you. And, if I pick something weird¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Is there anything weird here? Everything is pretty. And, earlier, didn¡¯t you just say that I¡¯d look good in anything?¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not that¡­ ¡­ . Still, it would be better¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I will wear whatever you choose. Think about it yourself and choose.¡±


    ¡°¡­Do I really have to do that? My eyes are really¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t talk, hurry up.¡±


    When did his words work with Hye-rim?


    There¡¯s no point in saying that anymore.


    I have no choice but to follow Hye-rim¡¯s words.


    ¡®Is she gonna wear the thing that I picked?¡¯


    It was incredibly burdensome. He felt the same pressure as when he entered the entrance exam hall and turned the first page of his exam paper for the first subject.


    If Hye-rim, who won¡¯t dress up and wear casual clothes someday, wears this accessory that I¡¯ve chosen for her, someone will definitely ask.


    ¡®Oh, Hye-rim? What is that?¡¯


    Then Hye-rim will answer her.


    ¡®This was a gift from a boy named Lee Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    However, the continuation of the conversation will be completely different depending on what Yoon-woo is choosing now.


    ¡®Oh, Hyerim? What is that? Why are you wearing that? It doesn¡¯t suit you at all¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    ¡®Yeah, isn¡¯t it funny? This was given to me by a kid named Yoon-woo Lee. But, he¡¯s fun, so I¡¯m going to try and play with him for a while.¡¯


    ¡®Wow, he¡¯s a really weird guy¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    This exam is too difficult, and there are too many options here.


    It seemed difficult to choose one category among watches, necklaces, rings, earrings, and bracelets.


    And, there were too many items in one category. You can exclude rings because they can give misunderstandings and also watches because they are too expensive.


    So, what is the correct answer?


    Yoon-woo looked around the store slowly and realized that this store is also holding another animation collaboration event.


    I don¡¯t know what cartoon it is, but there was a girl in a loose dress holding a magic wand.


    It looked like an anime for girls.


    How the heck did the accessory store have that animation collaboration?


    Do college girls wear earrings or watches with that character on them?


    Yoon-woo, thinking that he had to solve the question while he was here, approached the collaboration product display stand.


    I have to look around anyway, but as time goes on, Hyerim may say, ¡®Oh, I¡¯m tired. Don¡¯t choose anymore.¡¯ There was another expectation that she might say, ¡®I¡¯ll just choose.¡¯


    However, contrary to Yoon-woo¡¯s thoughts, the collaboration product was not an accessory with an animated character, nor was it a product for children.


    It just borrowed the design and color that became the motif of the animation.


    For those who know anime, let them remember the anime, and for those who don¡¯t, make it look like a pretty ornament.


    Among them, what caught Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes was a small ring-shaped earring.


    In the center of the ring, a large purple flower shape is embedded, and small colorful cubes are tightly surrounded around it, like a crown made of flowers.


    ¡®Wow, that¡¯s pretty. So, the collaboration was like this¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    It¡¯s strange that it borrowed the animation design, but the earrings are pretty. By immersing in it for a long time, Yoon-woo forgot to choose Hye-rim¡¯s gift.


    Yoon-woo has a hobby to combine these small things to make a harmonious one.


    So, he was excited in his elementary school art class when he made paper toys and crafts with colored paper.


    After finishing the laundry, always folding the laundry meticulously and tidying it up in the closet was an act that reflected his taste.


    ¡°Have you found, Yoon-woo? Why do you keep looking at it? Do you think it would suit me?¡±


    ¡°Uh, huh? no?¡±


    ¡°Huh? No? Then, do you think this doesn¡¯t suit me? You said earlier that anything would suit me¡­ ¡­ . Then why were you just looking at this?!¡±


    Hye-rim said in a sad tone.


    Instead of pretending to be playful like before, it seemed like she was really upset.


    However, it was impossible to say that I was looking around to pass the time and forgot to choose a present and was looking at it because I was curious.


    Yoon-woo hesitated, thinking about what to say.


    ¡°Ah, no, it¡¯s not that I don¡¯t think that it doesn¡¯t¡­ ¡­ .¡­Ah¡­ Hyerim has a more sophisticated and mature image, right? Therefore¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Uh? What? Do I look like that to Yoon-woo?¡±


    ¡°Sorry. It¡¯s not that I¡¯m talking about looks¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°No! You don¡¯t have to be sorry¡­ ¡­ . To Yoon-woo, I look like an adult and have a sophisticated image. ¡­ right? Anyway, so?¡±


    ¡°So¡­ ¡­ . I thought Hye-rim would suit with neat and clean accessories like that rather than the thing with so many decorations.¡±


    Yoon-woo said while pointing to the horseshoe-shaped earrings that had just caught his eye.


    The neat silver color and the monotonous design without decoration seemed to go well with Hye-rim¡¯s image.


    ¡°Is that so? So, are you going to buy that for me?¡±


    ¡°Uh? No, I won¡¯t¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Is there anything better than this?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s just too cheap. The accessory should be at least 50,000 won. ¡­ .¡±


    Compared to the debt he owed Hyerim, the horseshoe earrings were too cheap.


    It only had a price of 20,000 won.


    ¡°You¡­ ¡­ . Didn¡¯t I tell you not to count the things that I bought for you like that? You think this suits me, right?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, it really suits you. Still, it¡¯s too cheap¡­ ¡­ . Oh, how about buying two with similar designs?¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s okay. One is all I need. Do I look like I don¡¯t know the hard work that Yoon-woo has to do while choosing? With that, the tour is over!¡±


    ¡°Then, one more necklace or bracelet¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    However, Hye-rim immediately called the clerk to prevent Yoon-woo from continuing to speak.


    ¡°Sir, I¡¯ll do it with this. Come on, Yoon-woo, calculate it.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­Huh.¡±


    In the end, Yoon-woo¡¯s choice was a failure.


    Because he has 30,000 won left in debt.


    He casually looked it up while looking at other things, so it was embarrassing to hear that it was hard work.


    Of course, I honestly thought that those earrings would suit Hye-rim, but¡­ ¡­ .


    Otherwise, if I continue to treat Hye-rim without paying debt completely, I will feel uncomfortable.


    It was impossible to achieve my original purpose of cutting off the buds of trouble early.


    It was a mistake. I should have looked at the price, not the design. Yoon-woo thought so and finished calculating the earrings, but in fact, there was one more mistake by Yoon-woo.


    ¡°Hey, could you give me an ear piercing?¡±


    ¡°Yes, of course, you can. But if you drill a new one, the hole can get clogged up quickly, so you have to keep wearing it for a while.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. I will.¡±


    ¡°Uh?!¡±


    Basically, if you want to give earrings as a gift, you have to look at the other person¡¯s ears first.


    It is important to consider whether the other person usually wears earrings, and if so, what type of earrings they prefer.


    However, Yoon-woo accidentally recommended Hye-rim, who doesn¡¯t even wear earrings, to wear earrings at will.


    ¡°Ah, I¡¯m sorry, Hye-rim. I didn¡¯t even think of that. Let¡¯s change it to something else. Getting your ears pierced because of me¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, Yoon-woo. I want to do that because I like these earrings, so don¡¯t say anything more, okay?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Did I really pay 20,000 won out of 50,000 won in debt?


    Could it be that I have a new debt that is difficult to convert into money?


    After leaving the store, seeing the silver horseshoe earrings shining among Hye-rim¡¯s hair, Yoon-woo¡¯s heart grew heavy.


    ================================

 Chapter 35

    Paranoid Love Affair


    Episode 35


    ¡®Which man in the world would hate you?¡¯


    ¡®A man like Yoon-woo.¡¯


    Having said that, I thought he really might be. I really thought that he might hate me¡­ ¡­ .


    Cho Hye-rim from a 4th grade elementary school, definitely must¡¯ve bought his hatred.


    So, I didn¡¯t tell Yoon-woo that I was the same person from that time, and he didn¡¯t seem to know that yet.


    Nevertheless, it was very difficult for me to become close with Yoon-woo.


    ¡®I am pretty.¡¯


    When I think about my appearance, I don¡¯t think I¡¯m proud of having that, much less to feel arrogant.


    However, because of that, I am also not sure how much I have benefited compared to others in my life.


    People only know their own lives, so when looking at and comparing with others¡¯ lives, they have no choice but to use their lives as a standard.


    But, it is almost impossible to objectively evaluate how much better or worse one¡¯s life is by weighing and thinking in one¡¯s mind.


    Still, many people say that, of course, I will naturally live a better life than them, and that I will get a lot of benefits from my appearance.


    In the eyes of others, so-called handsome or beautiful people are limited in expressing their problems out loud because of the advantages they get from their faces.


    A lot of people are saying, ¡°Hye-rim must be happy.¡± Because they thought that all men were on my side. And, they think it¡¯s natural for me to say the same thing with a smile.


    However, if I make a noise like, ¡®It¡¯s hard because men are so annoying,¡¯ they will turn into a swarm of bees and will start to sting me.


    Of course, I didn¡¯t do that because I don¡¯t want to deal with their complaints.


    However, I hated it when people, who didn¡¯t even know the sadness and hardships I experienced in my life, talked carelessly about the benefits that I received from my appearance.


    If they don¡¯t even try to understand my life anyway, I hope they don¡¯t say anything about me.


    But people talk about others too easily and casually.


    In particular, those who consider themselves uglier and unhappier than others seem to think that their situation can justify their jealousy and make sarcastic remarks about what others have.


    So, since I am a good person in their opinion, they also think that I should be willing to bear with them if they want to talk about me.


    That is why people like me should be much more careful in front of others.


    Just like you don¡¯t know you¡¯re pretty, just like you want to get along well with anyone, you have to be humble in everything you do and be indifferent to whatever they say sometimes.


    But, they should also know the fact that the more easily you win the favor of others, the easier it is to be hated.


    But there was no one who told me in advance that it had to be so.


    My parents raised me with their love, and sent me to a school that taught an education that was universally applicable to all children.


    ¡®You are a special person, so you have to be more careful about your actions. Otherwise, you¡¯ll get seriously hurt.¡¯ No one has said that fact even when I reached 4th grade.


    When I was a 4th grade student at the elementary school, I was not a rude child.


    I was a cute child who was polite and witty with words.


    But I showed my feelings too easily at that time.


    By observing my eyes a little bit, everyone could know that I only looked at Yoon-woo and treated other children like stones on the side of the road.


    Unfortunately, there were a lot of people who looked up to me from a young age.


    The children didn¡¯t miss the chance to trample on the unlucky Yoon-woo, who took all of my attention, but after they found that I paid no attention to him anymore, they left him and chased after me again.


    The children who begged for my attention with their light hearts, destroyed that innocent heart with a light move.


    ¡®He got ridiculed by everyone,¡¯ I thought.


    I also thought it was too unfair. Most people don¡¯t get any attention even if they act arbitrarily according to their desires, but strangely, they are trying to find faults from the others even if the other is innocent by making every move and setting every kind of standard for them to get only my attention.


    But, do they think I can do anything I want just because I¡¯m a girl named Hye-rim?


    Do they think I can have everything I want just because I¡¯m beautiful ?


    I only wanted Yoon-woo, but I couldn¡¯t get along with him.


    Because of the chimpanzees who liked me on their own terms and swarming around me, I couldn¡¯t even get close to him. They also targeted me, who was acting arrogant in front of them, and spit out their capricious desires without filtering!


    I continued to regret my own actions when I was in the fourth grade of elementary school.


    I didn¡¯t regret that I couldn¡¯t hide my feelings for Yoon-woo in front of the other children.


    It was rather the opposite. Why did I spend so much time with children I thought were worthless?


    Why couldn¡¯t I honestly convey my feelings in front of the only valuable Yoon-woo?


    Whatever it is, my ambiguous attitude is the worst.


    One needs an extreme attitude to achieve whatever they want.


    However, my behavior was too vague.


    I pretended to like the children I didn¡¯t like, and couldn¡¯t honestly say that I liked Yoon-woo.


    Looking back, when I was a fourth grader in elementary school, I should¡¯ve told the other children who rushed to me, ¡°I¡¯m not going to play with you guys, so get out of my way.¡±


    And, I should have told Yoon-woo directly that I wanted to be friends with him and play with him.


    But I realized that too late.


    If I had gained enlightenment after falling out with Yoon-woo, and had decided to break up with other people, it would have been possible to become friends with him.


    Now I know what attitude to take.


    I didn¡¯t like people.


    I didn¡¯t want to hear them say they liked me or hated me for my appearance.


    I didn¡¯t want to give them even the slightest bit of my attention because they are people who didn¡¯t mean anything to me at all.


    So I lived as if I had no interest in other people.


    From that incident with Yoon-woo, starting from middle school, I acted like a person who only had studying and exercising on her mind.


    I went to the indoor climbing gym every day after class and climbed the wall.


    When I became a high school student, I went to CrossFit Gymnasium on top of that.


    Although I spent an ample amount of time on sports, I devoted all the rest of my time to studying, so my grades didn¡¯t go down.


    Without making human relationships, my life was monotonous.


    Monotonous time passes very quickly.


    So,10 years of my life went by really quickly.


    During that time, I did not find anyone worthy of reaching out my hand and investing my time, except for Ji-eun and except for my Yoon-woo.


    I had no one to like.


    So, when I met Yoon-woo again, I fell into agony.


    When you want to be friends with someone, how the hell do you approach them?


    For 10 years, I never thought of the possibility of meeting him again.


    In front of him, I felt like I had become the silly person from 10 years ago.


    People¡¯s relationships with me have always been like an interview.


    Of course, the interviewer was me, and I decided whether he or she was a person worthy of getting to know or not.


    But this time, Yoon-woo was the interviewer and I was the applicant.


    In this case, I did not know what other applicants were answering, doing, or preparing for.


    That¡¯s why I didn¡¯t know how far it would be good to express the rising favors for Yoon-woo and how to determine the socially accepted appropriate line between them.


    Favors are not always welcomed.


    This is because the value varies from person to person.


    Some favors are treated as bad goods that are useless in life.


    So, many people ponder for a long time before giving a favor to someone whether this might be good or bad for the other person.


    However, my favor was accepted as a good thing in most cases.


    It is like a scarce thing, so many people crave for it. So, I knew how to escape from the flooding wave of demand by living mostly in seclusion.


    Because of that, I was like a child when it came to relationships. When I acted on my heart¡¯s desires, I would sometimes go beyond my limits, just like a kindergarten or a lower-grade elementary school student tenaciously chasing after her favorite friend.


    So, on the day I spoke casually to Yoon-woo, I was excited at the thought that I had become close, and made the mistake of chasing him to the gym right away.


    I was embarrassed for several days after being told by Ji-eun unnie how strange it was.¡­ Still, Yoon-woo didn¡¯t seem to care much about it.


    That was the bigger problem. It means that Yoon-woo doesn¡¯t seem to have much interest in me.


    Even though he spent so much time with me, Yoon-woo didn¡¯t even look at me well.


    Other people look at me so much that it makes me uncomfortable¡­ ¡­ . If it was Yoon-woo, no matter how much he looked at me, I wouldn¡¯t be offended¡­ ¡­ .


    Strangely, he seemed to be more comfortable with Ji-eun than me.


    When he was with me, he kept giving excuses to run away. But with Ji-eun, they had a drink together, slept together, ate cream puffs together and even went to coin karaoke together¡­ ¡­ .


    When I thought about it that way, unlike when Ji-eun was there, when Yoon-woo and I were together, his expression seemed to be more rigid.


    Is it possible that he is avoiding me by noticing that I am the same Hye-rim from the 4th grade of elementary school?


    But if he had known that, wouldn¡¯t he have avoided me from the start?


    Couldn¡¯t he have said anything?


    Words of resentment or whatever¡­ ¡­ .


    If not,¡­ ¡­ . Could it be that he just doesn¡¯t like me?


    Like my appearance or attitude¡­ ¡­ .


    I like Ji-eun noona more¡­ ¡­ .


    As I continued to think like that, I gradually lost my confidence.


    I was worried about how I looked in Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes.


    In front of Yoon-woo, I couldn¡¯t control my actions.


    I shouldn¡¯t do that, I had to restrain myself, and even if I kept talking to myself like that , when I met Yoon-woo, my emotions surged to the top of my head.


    If there was a crater on the top of the head, wouldn¡¯t it have exploded like a volcano?


    Giving myself too much to Yoon-woo, I was disappointed that Yoon-woo was too close to Ji-eun and not close to me. And, being jealous of Jieun, I was afraid that I couldn¡¯t become friendly with her, so I came home alone, regretted and ashamed of myself.


    It was as if I had been cursed.


    It annoys me that there are endless people that like me. But, for a person that I like, he doesn¡¯t even see me¡­ ¡­ .


    As time passed, I thought it was my destiny that I happened to meet Yoon-woo again.


    It was as if I had become the main character in a fairy tale.


    However, in reality, Princess Snow White was not me, but Jieun, and I must have been the queen who presented the poisonous apple to the princess.


    Even though I was thinking about such concerns, I was really happy with Yoon-woo¡¯s gift.


    Although it was not pure favor and only just a gift from his persistent nature that he should pay off his debts.


    And, also she was happy because, for the first time, directly praising her came out of Yoon-woo¡¯s mouth.


    ¡®You¡¯ll be pretty even if you don¡¯t wear anything like you are now¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    ¡®Because Hyerim has a sophisticated and mature image¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    I was even more happy because I thought that I might look very ugly in Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes.


    Besides, the earring that I wore through my ears for the first time was a gift from Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­


    Yoon-woo¡¯s image, apart from the earrings that were too cheap, was also lovely.


    Yoon-woo, who told me to choose something else to match 50,000 won¡­ ¡­ .


    I had a desire to dress up as a gift from Yoon-woo, but didn¡¯t want to make him spend a lot of money, as I clearly knew how he lives.


    When I came home after going out with Yoon-woo and looked in the mirror, I looked so pretty in the mirror.


    The silver earrings that shimmered between my hair were really cute.


    Earrings suit me so well, why did I not wear the earrings until now?


    This is because there has never been someone who gave earrings as a gift to her except for Yoon-woo.


    ¡°Uh? Hye-rim, why did you wear earrings?¡±


    At lunchtime, Ji-eun came to Hye-rim¡¯s house and recognized the new earrings in Hye-rim¡¯s ears at a glance.


    ¡°What do you think? Does it suit me?¡±


    ¡°You look good in anything. But even considering that, you did choose well. It suits your image perfectly.¡±


    ¡°Do they?¡±


    ¡°But, earrings, all of a sudden? When we talked about earrings before, you said you didn¡¯t like having your ears pierced because you were afraid?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ I¡¯m sorry Hye-rim. Because of me, you have.. ¡­ .¡±


    Seeing his expression withered at Ji-eun¡¯s words, Hye-rim hurriedly denied Ji-eun¡¯s words.


    ¡°No! At that time, I just didn¡¯t have time to do that, so I just said something like that. I really like this now. It¡¯s true, Yoon-woo¡­¡±


    ¡°Uh? those earrings¡­ ¡­ . Did Yoon-woo buy it?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, in the morning.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Why?¡±


    ¡°That¡­ ¡­ . It is because of the meal that I bought in the restaurant before,and Yoon-woo wanted to repay it¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Even so¡­ ¡­ Don¡¯t you usually have to buy the same meal in return ? Earrings as a gift¡­ ¡­ That¡¯s like flirting¡­ ¡­ Did you guys¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not it¡­ ¡­ . By accident, it just happened like that. It¡¯s because we don¡¯t know where to go¡­ ¡­ Isn¡¯t that right, Yoon-woo?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ .Yeah. It¡¯s like that. I¡¯m sorry, Hye-rim. I didn¡¯t know.¡±


    ¡°Why do you keep saying sorry? I said I like it. ¡±


    In fact, it is almost as if I forced Yoon-woo to give such a gift.


    But, if I were to receive something from Yoon-woo, I wanted to receive the things that I can wear, hold or touch rather than the promise of a meal that would be digested in the stomach after 20 hours and would remain only as a vague memory.


    And, also as Yoon-woo was choosing a gift, I thought it would be good if he thought about me.


    And seeing me who values ??the thing he gave me, I thought it would be nice to let him know my feelings a little bit.


    If I didn¡¯t intervene in the last conversation, Yoon-woo would explain to Ji-eun unnie like this, ¡®Hye-rim told me not to buy a meal.¡¯ But, I didn¡¯t want to hear him explain like that. So, I answered first, ¡®It¡¯s because we didn¡¯t know where to go.¡¯


    That¡¯s why Yoon-woo stopped talking to Ji-eun.


    It was an impulsive act. I wanted Ji-eun to see that Yoon-woo and I have a meaningful relationship.


    I usually didn¡¯t like doing such a disgraceful thing, but I couldn¡¯t control my behavior if it involved Yoon-woo.


    ¡°I see. I see. ¡±


    While eating her meal, Ji-eun joked and laughed as usual, but in her eyes, Ji-eun was like a dead person, so she felt guilty.


    ¡®I¡¯ll have to explain it properly again later tonight¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    There is a class in the afternoon, so Hye-rim thought that she should explain to Ji-eun after dinner at night on the phone


    ¡°Then see you later in the evening. ¡±


    After tidying up what we ate together, Yoon-woo left Hye-rim¡¯s house with Ji-eun after being sent off by Hye-rim and headed to the university.


    Hyerim fifth period was vacant on every Tuesday. So,Yoon-woo went to take a Korean economic history class with Ji-eun.


    It¡¯s less than 5 minutes from Hyerim¡¯s house to the university, but somehow Ji-eun¡¯s pace was much slower than usual.


    Come to think of it, I also felt like I had no energy.


    ¡°Noona? Are you sick?¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s okay.¡±


    ¡°It looks like you have little energy. If you¡¯re tired, rest. And, if you happen to not be able to attend the class, I will check all the parts that will appear on the exam and later¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Hey, Yoon-woo.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Hey¡­ ¡­ . Do you like Hye-rim?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ ? Why all of a sudden?¡±


    ¡°No, just¡­ ¡­ No matter how well you don¡¯t know how to give a gift, giving something like earrings for a gift¡­ ¡­ ¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ ¡­ .It¡¯s because I couldn¡¯t think of anything but the ¡®UST¡¯ store nearby.¡±


    ¡°Why? Couldn¡¯t you have repaid her with the same food?¡±


    ¡°Hye-rim told me not to repay with food.¡±


    ¡°Oh, so it¡¯s like that? Well, that can be¡­ ¡­ Seriously, I thought it was a bit strange for your personality, Yoon-woo.¡±


    ¡°I must have chosen the wrong gift¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°No. You chose the one that suits Hye-rim well. I just said that the situation was a little weird. It¡¯s okay.¡±


    ¡°Then, I¡¯m glad.¡±


    ¡°But,¡­ ¡­ Hey, Yoon-woo.¡±


    ¡°Huh.¡±


    ¡°That I¡­ ¡­ I¡­ ¡­ If I also wear something like that¡­ ¡­ . Would it look weird?¡±


    ¡°Like what? earrings?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not weird at all. I think earring will suit noona too.¡±


    ¡°No, I¡¯m not talking about the earrings themselves¡­ ¡­ . It also includes the kind of design you bought for Hyerim¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Oh that? Well, for noona, rather than that¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Right? After all, that wouldn¡¯t suit me well, would it?¡±


    Ji-eun hastily cut off Yoon-woo¡¯s words.


    ¡°No, I¡¯m not saying it doesn¡¯t suit¡­ ¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay! I was just saying it. I don¡¯t plan on getting earrings or anything like that. It just makes me uncomfortable¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Noona?¡±


    ¡°Come on, let¡¯s go, the front seats will be full. You can¡¯t hear a single word from that professor when you¡¯re sitting in the back. ¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Okay.¡±


    It felt strange for Ji-eun, who was a good listener, to cut off his words.


    But after that, her appearance was the same as usual.


    She talks about this and that, waiting for the professor to come in, saying that the class is boring and she can¡¯t keep up with it, and she walks up to the liberal arts center with Yoon-woo, and when the class on the same floor ends in the evening, she smiles and greets him as usual. So, Yoon-woo didn¡¯t pay much attention to Ji-eun¡¯s slightly strange appearance earlier.


    If Yoon-woo was a little curious about what Ji-eun was thinking, who was smiling on the outside, if he paid even a little more attention to Ji-eun¡¯s different appearance than usual and asked a few words if she had something to worry about. If he asked only just a question.. ¡­ Would something have changed?


    As Hye-eun said, Yoon-woo really didn¡¯t know who he was or what kind of person he was.


    So, he couldn¡¯t even imagine that his words had become a raging storm in Ji-eun¡¯s heart.


    ¡®I know. No matter what I wear or what I dress, it won¡¯t suit me as well as Hye-rim. Even if I wear those earrings, I will never be as pretty as Hye-rim. However¡­ ¡­ Yoon-woo, do you think so too?¡¯


    ================================


    Dear readers, if you have some time, please don¡¯t forget to write a review about our novel on NU.

 Chapter 36

    Paranoid Love Affair


    Episode 36


    The 5th period of Korean economic history class was originally a class where Ji-eun did not attend, but after learning that Yoon-woo was taking the same class, it became a class that she attended and looked forward to attending.


    In the seat right next to Yoon-woo, I can see Yoon-woo¡¯s long, thin, and pretty fingers moving diligently while holding a pen¡­¡­.


    But today, the class was uncomfortable.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s serious expression looked cold today.


    As I focused on the class to shift my attention from Yoon-woo, I felt more depressed by the professor¡¯s voice, which was weak like a sick goat.


    It¡¯s more tiring to be with people on a bad day.


    Ji-eun has always tried to look like a fun and energetic person, so she couldn¡¯t show such signs even if she¡¯s feeling a little bad.


    And, that¡¯s also because I didn¡¯t want to hear, ¡°Ji-eun? What¡¯s wrong with you today?¡±


    When I hear such words, I must give a reasonable reason for a cheerful person like me to feel down.


    However, the reason why I¡¯m in a bad mood now would not seem reasonable to others.


    No, it was not only now, but anytime.


    It is absurd to give expectations to others and to be disappointed that others have escaped from them.


    But my mind doesn¡¯t care about that.


    In particular, my mind seemed like it couldn¡¯t think with logic.


    The gaze of people who don¡¯t stay with me for a long time, the jokes of people who treat me as a child, such things are only just trivial things.


    However, I couldn¡¯t rid myself of being hurt and depressed by such things.


    I also didn¡¯t want others to find out that I was a narrow-minded person who even thought about such trivial things.


    ¡°Ji-eun noona is small but she has a big heart.¡±


    This is a compliment that I sometimes hear at a drinking party.


    I wanted to keep that image. But, what if I can¡¯t?


    ¡°Ji-eun is a little narrow minded¡­¡± Wouldn¡¯t I hear the thing that I have already thought of?


    When I don¡¯t think about anything, what expression do I have?


    After the fifth period, Ji-eun thought while attending her literature class.


    She noticed that her expression and breathing seemed different from usual and awkward.


    I have to see Hyerim and Yoonwoo again when I eat dinner.¡­. I shouldn¡¯t look weird¡­¡­.


    I don¡¯t even know how I should eat dinner with them.


    Yoon-woo still did not participate in the conversation well, and he did not pay attention to Hye-rim and me even just a little bit, but that does not mean that he sees Hye-rim and me the same.


    Yoon-woo had a different meaning when dealing with Hye-rim and me, even when Yoon-woo¡¯s own gaze passed by for a very short time!


    Thinking so, I wanted to go home and be alone.


    However, when I just got home after the class, I got a phone call from Hye-rim.


    ¡°Huh? Hye-rim?¡± ¡±


    [Hey, you know.¡­.]


    Hye-rim explained what Ji-eun already knew from Yoon-woo.


    It was said that Hye-rim forced Yoon-woo not to pay back his debts with food, and it was she who told him to give such a gift.


    However, she also said that she was sorry for omitting such an explanation and making Yoon-woo and her relationship look meaningful for no reason.


    Ji-eun replied that she already knew.


    She also replied that she already asked Yoon-woo during the day, and knew all about it and she even complimented that she looked really good in it regardless of all that.


    She also praised again that she should have worn earrings earlier.


    [Really? Hehe. It is Yoon-woo¡¯s idea. He said that I have a sophisticated and mature image, so simple things like this would suit me.]


    ¡°¡­That¡¯s right. I think Yoon-woo has eyes for things.¡±


    [Thank you. Let¡¯s ask Yoon-woo to go shopping together later. What should I pick for you if you ask me to choose clothes for you?]


    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ Would he like to go there with his personality?¡±


    [Ah¡­That¡¯s right. Should I have to tie him with debt again?]


    ¡°Well¡­¡±


    [It¡¯d be fun if you and Yoon-woo went together and picked one for each other. You should also wear something else, not only school jumpers. You would look cute if you wore knitwear around.¡­.]


    ¡°But, school jumpers are comfortable clothes to sleep in after drinking. And, also I hate clothes that bother me while sleeping ¡­ ¡­¡±


    [ Ah! Anyway, thank you for listening! See you tomorrow. ]


    ¡°Okay. See you tomorrow.¡±


    Hye-rim is a good friend to even call and explain this.


    Ji-eun has often seen situations where two people like the same person and then fight each other.


    Saying a word that secretly undermines the image of a competitor in front of a person that he or she likes or bluffing to the competitor by exaggerating his or her relationship with a favorite person from time to time. You can even see what his or her intentions are even watching from the sidelines.


    It¡¯s not that I don¡¯t understand that mindset.


    I have to be the person that undermines or bluffs my competitor, but the unfair thing is that the person I like doesn¡¯t have to be on my side.


    How anxious would I be to wait for his choice in that situation?


    From Hye-rim¡¯s point of view, I may seem unfamiliar, a third party who suddenly intervened between Yoon-woo and her.


    Nevertheless, she even calls and explains.


    Why? Is it because she¡¯s a sincere and kind person?


    But, what if she isn¡¯t?


    Will she be thinking since Ji-eun is her opponent, she doesn¡¯t even need to check?


    Even if she doesn¡¯t check, she may have known that Yoon-woo will eventually go out with her, who is pretty, has a good body, has a good personality, and is also a good cook. So, maybe she thinks there¡¯s no need to ruin her relationship with Ji-eun by doing something strange?


    If she just stays still, she¡¯ll be able to maintain her friendship with Ji-eun while dating Yoon-woo.


    If that¡¯s what she thinks¡­¡­. It¡¯s resentful for me to think but it¡¯s a quite valid idea.


    ¡°Oh, that? With Ji-eun noona, I don¡¯t know¡­Rather than that¡­¡­.¡±


    It was a fact that even she herself knew.


    No one would look better in those earrings than Hyerim.


    Even if there is such a person, it cannot be named.


    I already knew that¡­¡­


    But, I didn¡¯t know that would come out of Yoon-woo¡¯s mouth.


    And I didn¡¯t even know that I¡¯d be this shocked after hearing that.


    I was just expecting it with my own delusional mind.


    In Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes, won¡¯t the world look completely different?


    The fact that Yoon-woo¡¯s gaze is not attracted to Hye-rim means that Yoon-woo is looking at Hye-rim and her equally.


    With that thought, I thought there was a possibility that Yoon-woo would like me.


    But it wasn¡¯t.


    Even in Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes, Hye-rim seemed to be a pretty, mature, and sophisticated woman.


    Then, what did I look like?


    ¡­¡­At least it wouldn¡¯t have looked mature and sophisticated.


    That¡¯s why Yoon-woo also thought those earrings didn¡¯t look good on me.


    I know.


    Hye-rim is not a bad girl. She is a sincere, good, gentle and hardworking girl.


    Yoon-woo is not bad either. Although he is a little weak and passive, he tries to listen to everything others say, and he is a good junior with a subtle consideration to others in his behavior.


    Then, I am the only bad one here. If I just stay still, Hye-rim and Yoon-woo will do well on their own.


    Hye-rim will lead a helpless and passive Yoon-woo and they will make up for each other¡¯s strengths and weaknesses.


    But, I could not suppress my greed, and I was just an obstructionist who would intervene between Hye-rim and Yoon-woo and confuse their relationship.


    If I¡¯m going to give up anyway, the sooner I give up, the better.


    Ji-eun, if you just give up, everything will be better.


    Hye-rim will achieve the love she has missed for 10 years, and Hye-rim, who is active, sweet, and somehow mother-like, will be able to take good care of Yoon-woo¡¯s wounds.


    It¡¯s an ideal relationship.


    Then, what is the most suitable way for her to intervene between them in the meantime?


    Wouldn¡¯t the best place be just friendship?


    Sometimes I drink and listen to concerns or complaints from others, but these days, I chat about what movies we enjoyed watching with others.


    As always in front of everyone!


    But, then my heart¡­¡­.


    For a long time, I lay in my bed with my head stuck in the pillow.


    Then, I talked to several people on the phone for a long time to suppress my mental seizures¡­


    But, I couldn¡¯t reveal my true feelings to anyone.


    Will they really accept this real image of me?


    I was scared because I thought it wouldn¡¯t be.


    I think they¡¯ll just say, ¡°What¡¯s wrong with you all of a sudden?¡±


    Would Yoon-woo say that, too? I don¡¯t know.


    Alcohol is the best when you don¡¯t know anything.


    There will be a drinking party today, but in this mood, I don¡¯t know what mistake I will make while drinking with others.


    I also know that I have a class for the first period tomorrow.


    Today, I wanted to fall into bed and fall asleep without thinking about anything after getting drunk quickly.


    In fact, there was a drink prepared in case like this.


    It is a drink called Bacardi 151 that has already been discontinued.


    The alcohol level is 75.5 degrees, and it is a solo drink that makes you drunk even if you drink two shots of liquor.


    I bought it to drink when I wanted to get drunk quickly, but I didn¡¯t even open the lid yet because I was sad to hear that it would be discontinued.


    But, when would I drink it if I didn¡¯t drink it on a day like this, even if it¡¯s discontinued?


    Ji-eun took a glass cup , a shot glass of liquor, and coke and ice from the refrigerator.


    In the past, I bought a shot glass of liquor, a pretty glass cup that goes well with cocktails, and an ice basket to drink with a noble atmosphere at home, but I¡¯ve never used anything other than the usual water glass. This is because it is annoying to have more cups and more dishes to wash.


    But I was going to create an atmosphere today. I will take care of the dishes tomorrow.


    I was going to make bacardi-coke and drink it.


    [ bacardi-coke= A mixture of bacardi and coke ]


    So I put ice and two cups of bacardi in a shot glass, and poured coke.


    I didn¡¯t know the exact ratio. But the taste is not important.


    The main purpose of drinking is to get drunk.


    All you have to do is put it in your mouth properly.


    A glass of this will make you drunk enough and fall asleep.


    That¡¯s what I thought.¡­.


    Contrary to her idea, she didn¡¯t go straight to bed with a glass of Bacardi-coke.


    In a gulp, half of the alcohol in a glass cup disappeared.


    I didn¡¯t feel better.


    Rather, it reminded me of all sorts of things.


    ¡®Did you really not think of me? We went for a walk together on Sunday, and we sang songs like that¡­ ¡­¡¯


    ¡®We ate cream puffs together, and we even wiped each other¡¯s mouths¡­¡­ . Were all really the things that you did without thinking?¡¯


    In another sip, all the remaining alcohol was gone.


    The alcohol content in this cup, which disappeared in less than two minutes, was equivalent to that of a bottle of soju.


    But she still didn¡¯t have enough alcohol.


    I drank it so quickly that the ice in the cup didn¡¯t even melt.


    And, I didn¡¯t even feel drunk.


    This should not be the case. I still haven¡¯t gotten drunk enough to fall asleep right away.


    If that¡¯s the case, I¡¯ll have no choice but to drink one more drink.


    With that in mind, Ji-eun poured Bacardi and Coke into the cup again.


    I didn¡¯t even measure it with a shot glass, so I poured half Bacardi and half Coke in moderation. Alcohol content is more than before.


    ¡®We slept together tightly, but did Yoon-woo really think of me as a pillow?¡¯ I was really excited¡­ ¡­¡¯


    ¡®Am I the only one who has fun eating lamb skewers? Did Yoon-woo continue to see me as a kid?¡¯


    And, all the alcohol in the cup was gone.


    The reason Ji-eun usually drinks alcohol is because she is usually good at controlling her drinking pace.


    She liked to talk, so she drank slowly while drinking water and eating snacks appropriately.


    There were many times when I drank alone at home, but when I did, I drank really slowly while watching a movie or video.


    It was the first time I drank alcohol while staring at the bottle alone in this quiet house.


    It took less than 10 minutes for me to empty two cups of Bacardi-coke.


    Nevertheless, I also reached out for a bottle of Bacardi.


    The thought of having to take the first class tomorrow had already disappeared from Ji-eun¡¯s mind.


    She filled about half the cup with Bacardi and tried to add coke again, but the coke was not enough.


    Since she doesn¡¯t usually drink carbonated drinks, she doesn¡¯t even buy a coke at home.


    The coke that I used to mix with Bacardi now was not much from the beginning and not the same coke¡¯s size that came with the delivery food.


    I was going to finish it with one or two drinks, so I thought that would be enough.


    ¡®Why is there no Coke again? ¡­ .¡¯


    I was no longer normal.


    Even the fact that there was no coke made me angry.


    So I poured more Bacardi as much as there was not enough coke.


    So, it was already ambiguous to even call it Bacardi-coke.


    The ratio between coke and Bacardi was about 3:7.


    Bacardi was 7.


    But Ji-eun drank it again.


    If you drink strong alcohol like that, your esophagus and stomach will definitely hurt, but I didn¡¯t even feel it.


    [ The esophagus is the muscular tube that carries food and liquids from your mouth to the stomach.]


    My stomach seems to have been sore from before.


    Before even bringing out the drink¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡®Is Yoon-woo also like Hye-rim after all? Why can¡¯t it be me?¡¯


    ¡®I can do it well if you just.. ¡­ . I can do it all if you only ¡­ .¡¯


    ¡®Am I just a kid to you? Do you feel troubled because I¡¯m small?¡¯


    Ji-eun crumpled up the empty coke bottle and threw it into the bag that collected the recyclables.


    The bag was in the corner next to the refrigerator, and the coke bottle hit the refrigerator and bounced off the floor.


    ¡®Ah¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    In fact, it would have been difficult for Ji-eun even with a sane mind to put a plastic bottle in the bag which was in the corner.


    But Ji-eun, who was not sane, was angry even at that.


    Everything in the world seemed to be moving in a direction that she hadn¡¯t wanted.


    So, on a whim, she opened the lid of Bacardi again.


    Now, Ji-eun did not even mix coke with Bacardi.


    She poured Bacardi into the shot glass and continued to drink.


    How much did I drink like that? ¡­ .


    The next morning, when Ji-eun woke up, her memory was vague.


    This was the first time that I can¡¯t remember clearly since I started drinking.


    My head was pounding like it was going to break.


    Ji-eun got up from bed and struggled to remember what she had done yesterday.


    As I pondered¡­ ¡­ . It was like crying a few times while drinking.


    It was as if she kept muttering to herself and then went outside.


    And did I buy beer at the convenience store?


    Did I buy coke? What did I buy?


    And walking somewhere¡­ ¡­ . What did I do¡­ ¡­ .


    From there, her memory was really hazy.


    ¡®Uh¡­ ¡­ No way¡­ ¡­ Ah¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    ¡®What if¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    What is certain is that her drunken state Ji-eun did something very serious.


    Because¡­ ¡­ . The place where Ji-eun woke up was not in her bed¡­ ¡­ .


    * * *


    Droopy, rumbling, rumbling¡­ ¡­ .


    On Wednesday morning, Yoon-woo was woken up by the sound of a cell phone vibrating loudly on the desk.


    Communication from Hye-eun is made through the app, and the notification ends with three short vibrations, so at least it¡¯s not Hye-eun who is calling now.


    Hye-eun wouldn¡¯t call at this time.


    Because we talked long enough before we fell asleep.


    Last night, Yoon-woo said that he did what Hye-eun told him, and he also told her that he was still in debt and didn¡¯t know what to do, then hung up his phone and fell asleep.


    The number of people who could make calls to Yoon-woo was very limited.


    Hye-rim was the only person other than his parents to make a regular phone call to Yoon-woo.


    When I went to the ¡®UST¡¯ store earlier and came back, Hye-rim called me again.


    And, Hye-rim also said it herself that she had no way of calling me during the night.


    So maybe it¡¯s my parents?


    Maybe something bad happened at home?


    With such worries, Yoon-woo quickly answered the phone.


    ¡°Hello?¡±


    [ ¡­ Darling.]


    But the caller¡¯s voice was clearly not his parents.


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Who are you?¡±


    [What? You don¡¯t even remember my voice? heh¡­ ¡­ I¡¯m sorry¡­ ¡­ .]


    Yoon-woo could not properly confirm the caller because he was in a rush to receive it in his sleep.


    So as soon as he heard the drunken, tongue twisted, hoarse voice, he thought it was the wrong call and was getting ready to hang up.


    However, the other party knew his name.


    Anyone who knows his name and wants to call him while being drunk¡­ ¡­


    ¡°uh¡­ ¡­ . Maybe, Ji-eun noona?¡±


    [Hehehe, that¡¯s right~ It¡¯s me~]


    ¡°Why are you calling at this hour?¡±


    [ Why? Can¡¯t I call you? Don¡¯t you like me calling? ]


    ¡°Huh? No, it¡¯s not¡­ ¡­ . It¡¯s late now¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [So you don¡¯t like it? Don¡¯t you want to talk to me?]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ No, it¡¯s not that I don¡¯t like it. But wait¡­ ¡­ . Everyone else in the dorm is gonna wake up, so I¡¯ll go up to the roof.¡±


    Obviously, Ji-eun¡¯s attitude was strange.


    Looking back, I remembered that she had a strange behaviour for a while during the day.


    Anyway, he owed a debt to Ji-eun noona while he was drunk.


    So, if Ji-eun is even calling at this hour because she wants to talk about something, he is obligated to deal with it.


    [No, don¡¯t do that¡­ ¡­ . Can¡¯t you just come out for a moment?]


    ¡°Come out? Where?¡±


    [Just get out of there! I¡¯m right in front!]


    ¡°What?¡­ ¡­ Where are you in front?¡±


    [In front of your house.]


    ================================


    Please don¡¯t forget to write a review about our novel on NU.

 Chapter 37

    Paranoid Love Affair


    Episode 37


    ¡°Uh? In front of my house?¡±


    [Huh! Why? Don¡¯t you want to come out?]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ I¡¯m coming, wait a minute¡­ ¡­¡±


    [Okay! Come out quickly~]


    When I hung up the phone and checked the time, it was 2:00 in the morning.


    Yoon-woo made a resolution in his heart.


    Under normal conditions, she would not come to his house at this time, or even if she did, she would not call and summon him like this.


    In particular, it was even more strange that Ji-eun noona, who was usually very considerate, would act like this.


    Besides, the tone that stretched out from usual voice when she spoke slowly and gently¡­ ¡­ It was clear that she was drunk.


    In fact, Yoon-woo had never dealt with someone so drunk except for his father.


    The way he dealt with his drunken father was simple.


    He just lay in a corner of the room, pretending to be dead, so as not to be seen as much as possible.


    The drunken father was like a wild carnivore. Running and rushing to attack anything that moves and makes noise¡­ ¡­ However, he did not bother to touch Yoon-woo, who was lying still, holding his breath.


    But his father and Ji-eun are different. Ji-eun was a person who had enough control over herself and was able to drink happily.


    So, even if she becomes drunk, she will not wield violence or rant, like his father had.


    And even if she hit him, it didn¡¯t seem to matter.


    How painful would it be if Ji-eun noona hit him?


    And, being cursed is a familiar thing¡­


    If Ji-eun makes such a mistake, on the contrary, he can pay off the debt for causing trouble to Ji-eun last time because of drunkenness, and his heart may be more comfortable.


    Thinking so, Yoon-woo put on his coat haphazardly and ran down the stairs.


    He opened the front door of the building¡¯s entrance and found Ji-eun squatting alone on the stairs in front of the entrance, sipping beer.


    In her other hand was a convenience store bag.


    She looked so weak and pitiful while squatting since she was a small person to begin with.


    It was a funny thought.


    I feel sorry for Ji-eun noona? ¡­ ¡­


    How could I dare to feel compassion for the person who is so popular?


    It is like sympathy from basic grade people for the third generation of chaebols.


    ¡°Noona¡­ ¡­ . What are you doing here?¡±


    ¡°Uh? Yoon-woo! Hi! hehe¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Ji-eun is not sane by any means right now.


    The movement of turning to see Yoon-woo and the gesture of waving her hand to say hi were exaggerated than usual.


    The gesture was so strong that while she was waving to Yoon-woo after putting the convenience store bag down on the ground, beer spilled out of a beer can from her opposite hand and fell to the ground.


    I¡¯m glad that her clothes didn¡¯t get wet.


    The light in the front door lit up Ji-eun¡¯s face.


    Ji-eun was a person whose face did not change colors even after drinking.


    Even though the smell of alcohol is heightened like this, Ji-eun¡¯s face is still white.


    So her bloodshot eyes and reddened nose were more noticeable.


    She looked like someone who had been crying for a long time. Also, even now, she looked like she was about to cry.


    ¡°Noona¡­ ¡­ . What happened to you?¡±


    ¡°What happened? Well¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°By the way¡­ ¡­ Noona, did you come all the way here dressed like that? It¡¯s pretty cold right now¡­ ¡­ Are you okay?¡±


    Ji-eun was like someone who had woken up from her sleep, but her bare feet were in slippers, and she was wearing shorts.


    Although Yoon-woo had just come out of the blanket, he was wearing quite warm clothes. But, the passing autumn night wind on his cheek was quite cool.


    Although he was more prone to cold than others, considering with the wind like this right now, it seemed that it would be difficult to endure this cold even for Ji-eun with her attire.


    ¡°I¡¯m okay! I drank a lot! Drinking heats up your blood, right? So now one feet.. ¡­ . no, wait, it¡¯s cold. What? Why am I wearing slippers? Do you know, Yoon-woo? Why am I wearing slippers?¡±


    ¡®How would I know¡­ ¡­¡¯


    I guess she didn¡¯t know it was cold as she was walking all the way to my house in a drunk state.


    Now, sitting still on the cold stone steps and even drinking cold beer, there is no reason not to be cold.


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Noona, just cover this. I¡¯ll bring some warm clothes again.¡±


    ¡°Uh, huh? Wait a minute¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Yoon-woo put the coat he was wearing on Ji-eun¡¯s lap, turned around and ran up the stairs without listening to Ji-eun¡¯s words.


    Whatever the purpose of Ji-eun¡¯s visit, it seemed that it would be impossible to concentrate on Ji-eun¡¯s speech without putting on a coat because it was cold.


    But when he entered the room and opened the closet to take out his coat, Yoon-woo¡¯s mind suddenly came to notice Ji-eun¡¯s white bare feet.


    I covered her knees with a coat, but it did not cover her feet.


    Even now, her feet will still shiver.


    With that thought in mind, Yoon-woo put his socks into his coat.


    It would be nice to have a scarf or gloves, but unfortunately there were no special cold protection tools in his wardrobe.


    ¡°Hey, what if I suddenly jump into your house! I thought you weren¡¯t coming back!¡±


    ¡°Sorry, because you look too cold right now¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Ah, huh¡­ ¡­ Thanks for covering this up.¡±


    ¡°But aren¡¯t your feet cold? You¡¯re still barefoot¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Uh? It¡¯s just¡­ uh¡­ . It¡¯s okay! But, what is this? ¡±


    ¡°Noona, would you mind wearing my socks if it¡¯s okay with you? The size is big, but I thought it would be cold, so I bought it.¡±


    ¡°Would you like to wear my socks?¡±


    ¡°Huh¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    For some reason, Ji-eun did not answer and was staring at Yoon-woo.


    Yoon-woo thought for a moment what the meaning of that gaze was, and then added.


    ¡°Oh, I don¡¯t have an athlete¡¯s foot. The socks were also washed and dried in the sun. Don¡¯t worry about the smell¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Are you a fool?¡±


    ¡°Uh? uh¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Yoon-woo has been criticized for various things in his life, but surprisingly, he has never heard criticism that he¡¯s a fool.


    He thought that the reason he had never heard was that the constituent elements of the word ¡®fool¡¯ had more intentions to express intimacy than feelings of criticism and contempt.


    However, in this situation, Yoon-woo could not figure out why Ji-eun now calls Yoon-woo a fool.


    Maybe it¡¯s only because of drunkenness that she throws out words that have meanings without any meaning carelessly.


    But, she should speak in moderation.


    ¡°That¡­ ¡­ . Anyway, I think your legs are going to be cold because you¡¯re barefoot¡­ ¡­ . Even if it was just for a short time, I thought it would be better than not doing it, so I brought it with me¡­ ¡­¡±


    ¡°Trust me.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°What am I holding in my hands? You can just trust me.¡±


    Saying that, Ji-eun deliberately picked up the convenience store bag that had been left on the ground before.


    She held a convenience store bag full of beer cans in one hand and a full beer can in the other hand¡­ ¡­


    Do I really need to argue with her here? ¡®Can you just put it down for a while and wear this!?¡¯


    If you argue with a drunk person for only just a mere thing, you only get into fights.


    So, it¡¯s good to listen to everything in moderation and move on.


    Had the mother realized that earlier, the furniture in the house would have been much less scratched.


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    Yoon-woo faced Ji-eun and knelt down on the floor, holding her ankle to put the socks on.


    From the touch, he can feel that Ji-eun¡¯s feet were as cold as ice, hit by the night wind.


    Touching the cold feet with his hand, Yoon-woo realized that he didn¡¯t think about this matter deeply.


    This is because the socks Yoon-woo brought were thin cotton socks, not heat socks or thick sleeping socks.


    There were no thick socks in his wardrobe either.


    There were only socks that exposed the ankles and socks that did not.


    Can this warm Ji-eun noona¡¯s feet?


    Wouldn¡¯t he have to go up again and get another sock and put it on about two layers?


    But it didn¡¯t seem to make much sense.


    It was because Ji-eun¡¯s feet were too small compared to his feet.


    Will two layers of baggy socks warm her cold feet?


    With that thought in mind, Yoon-woo took off the socks that were about half on Ji-eun¡¯s feet again.


    ¡°Huh? What are you doing? Why are you taking it off again?¡±


    ¡°Hold on a second¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    In my opinion, good intentions shouldn¡¯t be done with an impulsive gesture.


    He wants Ji-eun not to shiver from the cold, not to put on a baggy, thin sock and show his condolences.


    Then the act of putting his coat on Ji-eun¡¯s lap, or the act of running up his stairs and opening his closet and putting socks on her legs, didn¡¯t have any meanings.


    Actions for the sake of others are very different from actions intended to be liked by others.


    The latter act is sometimes wrapped in good intentions, and there is nothing inside.


    There are insects that behave that way.


    In order to mate, the male presents the female with food such as dead insects, but sometimes there is a clever male who presents a bundle of threads with nothing inside.


    Yoon-woo had no reason to act like that.


    It was because he had given up on the idea of ??trying to be liked by others.


    An act of good intention must be filled with good intentions to the very end.


    Even if the packaging is clumsy and the other party is accusing him.


    Therefore, Yoon-woo tried to choose the most effective way to warm Ji-eun¡¯s feet.


    Yoon-woo, who took off his socks from Ji-eun¡¯s feet again, blew a breath into his two hands, and quickly rubbed his hands to heat them up with friction.


    Then he wrapped his two hands around Ji-eun¡¯s feet.


    It was done with the thought that if he put on socks while her feet were warm, it would keep her warm for quite some time.


    Ji-eun¡¯s feet were so small that Yoon-woo seemed to be able to hold both of Ji-eun¡¯s feet with one hand.


    The warmth of Yoon-woo¡¯s hands was transmitted to Ji-eun¡¯s feet, and the coldness of her feet was transferred to Yoon-woo¡¯s hands.


    ¡°Hey! Hey, hey! what are you doing¡­ ¡­ ?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but if you stay with your feet like this for a long time, you¡¯ll catch a cold. Wait a minute¡­ ¡­ ¡±


    ¡°Hey¡­ ¡­ This¡­ ¡­ This is¡­ ¡­¡±


    I was nervous that Ji-eun would kick my face, but Ji-eun did not resist my hand and stood still.


    I rubbed my hands and wrapped around Ji-eun¡¯s feet. I repeated this action a few more times.


    And when I thought that the cold had gone from her feet and become lukewarm, I put my socks on Ji-eun¡¯s feet.


    ¡°What¡¯s this¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Seeing the baggy socks, Ji-eun wiggled her feet.


    ¡°But, aren¡¯t your feet less cold now?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Yes, it¡¯s warm. Thanks¡­ ¡­ ¡±


    Saying that, Ji-eun bowed her head.


    Even after waiting for a few minutes, Yoon-woo opened his mouth first because Ji-eun did not want to talk about the main point.


    ¡°So,¡­ ¡­ . Noona, what¡¯s going on here? This time¡­ ¡­ . You¡¯re so drunk¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ ¡­ As for why I¡¯m here¡­ ¡­ That¡¯s right, I¡¯m here to have a beer with you! Come on. Pick it up! What beer do you like? My recommendation is Edelweiss! Hurry up!¡±


    As if Ji-eun just remembered it, she opened the convenience store bag and showed it to Yoon-woo.


    Inside the bag were 7 cans of beer.


    If you buy 4 cans together, you get a 10,000 won discount, so she would have bought 8 cans of what she¡¯s drinking now.


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ It¡¯s past two in the morning.¡±


    ¡°Eh? Already? ¡­ ¡­ So, how are you? Let¡¯s sit here, have a drink and go in!¡±


    ¡°Noona, don¡¯t you have class tomorrow morning?¡±


    ¡°There is! There is¡­ ¡­ But, it¡¯s okay!¡±


    ¡°Which class? Can you even get up?¡±


    ¡°First class! It¡¯s still good enough to skip!¡±


    It may be okay to skip and it seemed that it would be difficult to enter the class in this state in the first period.


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ Let¡¯s go to noona¡¯s house.¡±


    ¡°You want to drink at my house? Hey, why are you going there?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t drink anymore¡­ Noona had a lot to drink for today. You should go to sleep.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ What? Yoon-woo, do you not want to drink with me?¡±


    ¡°Uh? It¡¯s not like that, it¡¯s late¡­ ¡­ ¡±


    ¡°What does that matter! You don¡¯t want to drink with me, do you?¡±


    ¡°No way¡­ ¡­I¡¯ve never had a drink with anyone other than noona¡­ ¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh, did you? That¡¯s right. uh¡­ ¡­¡±


    While eating lamb skewers with Ji-eun, obviously, Yoon-woo said that it was the first time he was drinking with someone, but Ji-eun couldn¡¯t even remember that.


    ¡°Okay. So, now, get up and go home.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    ¡°Then will you gonna get up soon? Can you walk?¡±


    ¡°But¡­ ¡­ Let¡¯s have a beer together before we go!¡±


    ¡°Uhh¡­ ¡­¡±


    Unlike Yoon-woo¡¯s parents, her drunken Ji-eun has a strong aggressive disposition, but¡­ ¡­ .


    She was very quiet.


    She was like a crying little child.


    ¡°No, you look really bad now. Let¡¯s go back. I¡¯ll go with you to the front of your house¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    The more drunk you are, the more you want to keep drinking.


    On the wrong day of drinking, some people try to drink until they really die.


    Ji-eun was in such a state today.


    If he had followed Ji-eun¡¯s advice and listened to the story while drinking a can of beer together, Ji-eun might have followed his advice and gone home.


    However, he had no intention of sitting next to Ji-eun and drinking beer together.


    Because he also wanted to get out of this situation quickly, and he had a greater desire to help Ji-eun.


    The fact that a person who drinks so well has reached this point probably means that there is something wrong with Ji-eun¡¯s mental or physical health.


    He couldn¡¯t get her to drink one more drink.


    And considering the state of Ji-eun, it didn¡¯t look like it would end with one cup.


    So, in front of Yoon-woo¡¯s room, Ji-eun and Yoon-woo¡¯s quarrel continued for several more minutes.


    Ji-eun continues to offer alcohol, and Yoon-woo offers to take her home¡­ ¡­ .


    However, Ji-eun was heartbroken at Yoon-woo¡¯s continued refusal.


    ¡°Hey! Why do you hate it so much? Do you hate drinking with me so much? You don¡¯t like me because I¡¯m a kid?¡±


    ¡°Huh? What do you mean suddenly¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°In the middle of the night, a senior woman came to your house after drinking alcohol, didn¡¯t you have to drink with her at least? Do you just want to send me home quickly?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re drunk, so I¡¯m going to send you home. I¡¯m worried about my noona¡­ ¡­¡±


    ¡°I bought a beer like this to drink together¡­ ¡­If it wasn¡¯t me but someone else¡­ ¡­ . If it was Hyerim¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    After all, it seems that Ji-eun¡¯s eyes were bloodshot from the moment she first contacted him because she was crying.


    Tears quickly welled up in her big eyes and flowed down her cheeks.


    It was too painful for me to dismiss this as simply a drunken tantrum and pass it on.


    Whether she¡¯s drunk or not, how dare I make someone like Ji-eun cry¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡°No, what do you mean¡­ ¡­ If it was Hyerim or anyone who came here drunk like this, of course, I would also have taken her home.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­It¡¯s a lie.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s the truth.¡±


    ¡°No, that¡¯s a lie. Are you really going to send Hye-rim back even if she comes? Even if Hye-rim wears clothes that show off her body, and she gets drunk and comes up to Yoon-woo and asks you to have a drink?¡±


    ¡°She probably wouldn¡¯t¡­ ¡­ But, of course, if she does come, I also have to send her home.¡±


    Hye-rim won¡¯t do that.


    Even so, if that happens, she must have been drinking to the point of going crazy, and she will have to go home sooner rather than later.


    ¡°But then, will you walk me to the front of the house?¡±


    ¡°I will. I had already told you that I would send my noona home carefully¡±


    ¡°But then what if I ask you to come in the house and leave after a while? Are you going to decline?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s time to say no.¡±


    ¡°If not this time? What if earlier?¡±


    ¡°Why should I get in? Why do I have to get into a house where a drunken woman is alone¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°What if Hye-rim insists on being very persistent? Pull your arm to come in, and then what?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Noona? What the hell are you trying to say?¡±


    It was hard answering Ji-eun, who was talking with her tears dripping down¡­ ¡­ .


    Gradually, the story took a strange turn and cut the direction off from our start conversation.


    I didn¡¯t know what the hell Ji-eun was trying to say.


    ¡°If the¡­ ¡­If it wasn¡¯t me who was here now, but Hye-rim¡­ ¡­ . Would it have been different?¡±


    ¡°Nothing would have been different.¡±


    ¡°No, it would have been different.¡±


    ¡°Why do you keep¡­ ¡­Why do you think so?¡±


    ¡°Because Hyerim and I are completely different¡­ ¡­ Don¡¯t you think so too?¡±


    ¡°Uh? When did I¡­ ¡­¡±


    ¡°You did that during the day! Those earrings¡­ ¡­You said it only suits Hye-rim¡­ ¡­ I don¡¯t like it¡­ ¡­¡±


    ¡°Uh?! But, that doesn¡¯t mean¡­ ¡­ No, I didn¡¯t say that with that meaning¡­ ¡­¡±


    ¡°But, that was roughly what it was! and¡­ ¡­ . That¡¯s right¡­ ¡­ . I don¡¯t like that¡­ ¡­ . Hye-rim has a mature and sophisticated image, and I have a childlike image¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    I didn¡¯t mean it like that at all, but Ji-eun seems to have accepted it that way.


    If she had listened to me properly during the day, or if I had shared a few more words about earrings, she wouldn¡¯t have thought like this¡­ ¡­ .


    Why did Ji-eun turn his words around in a hurry during the day?


    How did she continue to laugh and talk while she accepted it as a wound to keep in her heart?


    ¡°Noona, that¡¯s not it.¡±


    ¡°But I thought you would be different¡­ ¡­I thought you wouldn¡¯t see me and Hye-rim much differently¡­ ¡­ So¡­ ¡­ As long as I work hard¡­ ¡­ you will be¡­ ¡­¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t see much of a difference. Really.¡±


    ¡°Then why? Why did you say it doesn¡¯t suit me? Why?¡±


    My heart ached. The fact that such a person cares about my words, that because of those words, she is crying in front of my house in such a drunken state.


    Although Yoon-woo has only one Hye-eun, he thought that there would be hundreds of people like Ji-eun who would keep her heart wounds from others.


    That¡¯s why I thought that a word that had been spoken from someone like me without thinking would not make a small scratch on her heart.


    Ji-eun¡¯s heart was full of fan letters, just like the mailbox of a popular celebrity, so he thought that the words from normal people like him would go to the spam mailbox unless it was about important things.


    So Yoon-woo did not think that his words could have any small effect on Ji-eun.


    But now Ji-eun was clearly crying because of Yoon-woo.


    This was a serious mistake.


    What happened to Yoon-woo who made Hye-rim, a 4th grader in elementary school, cry?


    Everyone in the world takes the side of the popular people.


    If anyone sees this scene, they will trample on Yoon-woo, who had scratched Ji-eun¡¯s heart just like that time, and try to bury him.


    But, in fact, whether or not someone else buried him or not, it was not a big deal for Yoon-woo.


    Because Yoon-woo was already isolated and living like a lonely island.


    It hurts his heart to be hated by others, but Yoon-woo was already hated enough.


    So, even when he goes to mandatory liberal arts classes, he hears gossip and whispers from his classmates.


    In the end, nothing really changes.


    Rather than that, I wanted to somehow make Ji-eun not cry.


    I wanted to appease Ji-eun and make her laugh and talk as usual again.


    Ji-eun¡¯s words that she had leftover beer cans in one hand, a convenience store bag in the other, and 7 beer cans in it, and bought them to eat with Yoon-woo made Ji-eun look so lonely and sad.


    It was a really presumptuous idea to think about himself that way, but Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­ . It was as if he had seen himself in such a way.


    ¡°Noona, absolutely not. It wasn¡¯t that it didn¡¯t suit you. What¡¯s wrong with you, noona?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Sorry for crying. But, I don¡¯t need you to comfort me. I¡¯m sick of it. I expected to be by myself alone, and then I was disappointed by myself alone¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°You know, actually, there is an earring that I was looking at ¡®UST¡¯ carefully, and I thought it would suit noona more¡­ ¡­That¡¯s what I remembered, so that¡¯s what I said.¡±


    ¡°A lie.¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s true. Hye-rim and noona are equally attractive people. I heard from my classmates that noona is also very popular.¡±


    ¡°I am not. How is a dwarf like me bed the same as Hye-rim? And you aren¡¯t even close with them , are you?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ Even if I¡¯m not close, I just passed by and heard it. And I also thought that even though you look a little small, I think you¡¯re really mature. You drink well and take care of everyone, and you are very considerate¡­ ¡­¡±


    ¡°Really? Then do you think I am attractive as an adult woman?¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡±


    ¡°How do I believe that? Aren¡¯t you just making up stories to appease me?¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ ¡­ How can I make you believe it?¡±


    ¡°Excuse me¡­ ¡­Then, if there is¡­ ¡­ that¡­ ¡­¡±


    ¡°Huh.¡±


    ¡°Me too¡­ ¡­ Can¡¯t you give me earrings as a gift?¡±


    ¡°Uh? Earring?¡±


    ¡°No?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not¡­ ¡­ Didn¡¯t noona hate things like that? I thought you didn¡¯t like to decorate¡­ ¡­¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I hate it¡­ ¡­ . I don¡¯t do it because it doesn¡¯t suit me.¡±


    ¡°No, I didn¡¯t mean that. It will definitely suit noona.¡±


    ¡°Really? If it suits me, then¡­ ¡­ If something like that is real, I want to try it too.¡±


    ¡°Okay. I will definitely give you a present.¡±


    ¡°When? When are you going to give it to me?¡±


    ¡°Maybe tomorrow¡­ ¡­¡±


    ¡°Tomorrow? really?!¡±


    ¡°Okay. I will.¡±


    ¡°Heh heh thank you! Then would you like a beer?¡±


    ¡°Noona¡­ ¡­¡±


    And Ji-eun smiled and drank all the beer left in her can and threw the empty can away.


    Not all of those conversations remained in her mind.


    But she soon recalled those scenes.


    This is because, in the eyes of Ji-eun, who got up to go to her bathroom, the evidence of the ugliness she had caused last night came into her eyes.


    A large overcoat draped over her own body¡­ ¡­ . And the baggy socks on her feet¡­ ¡­ .


    She saw it and remembered it.


    That this is Yoon-woo¡¯s room, and that she remembers the words she had said to Yoon-woo last night¡­ ¡­


    ¡®Am I going to die¡­ ¡­¡¯


    ================================


    Please don¡¯t forget to write a review if you like our novel on NU.

 Chapter 38

    Paranoid Love Affair


    Episode 38


    A shot of the remaining beer was the last memory left in Ji-eun¡¯s head when she woke up in the morning.


    However, the real hardship that Yoon-woo suffered last night started from there.


    Whether that beer caused the last remaining string of her reason to leave her, or that she lost her mind after she had spoken all the words in her heart, Ji-eun after that had become a monster with only a desire to drink more.


    ¡°Okay, and then, Yoon-woo said you couldn¡¯t drink beer because it was cold, right? So, you refuse it. But, your noona hasn¡¯t drunk enough¡­ ¡­ . I need to buy some soju! soju!¡±


    Seeing that Ji-eun, who had stopped crying, returned with a bright expression, she began to spit out such words to Yoon-woo, who was about to think that it was over.


    Inwardly, Yoon-woo had already expected that Ji-eun would listen when she stopped crying. But, that was so easy.


    When has the world ever turned to his expectations?


    Yoon-woo was always trying to live by accepting that everything was going to turn out worse than he expected, but this kind of situation¡­¡­ .


    This situation was absurd rather than being bad.


    How can he predict a situation in which a drunken Ji-eun was crying, holding a bottle in front of his house, and then exclaiming to buy more alcohol?


    Yoon-woo was thinking about something earlier.


    Compared to some people who use violence and abusive language when drunk, Ji-eun, in her alcoholic state, is very polite and docile¡­ ¡­ .


    It wasn¡¯t a completely wrong idea. And, he, who had little experience in drinking, thought Ji-eun¡¯s behaviour was funny.


    ¡°Noona, you really can¡¯t drink any more¡­ ¡­ . You¡¯ve drunk a lot of beer.. ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°So, what¡¯s wrong with drinking more?¡±


    Ji-eun shouted and jumped up from the stairs causing the coat, which Yoon-woo had placed on Ji-eun¡¯s lap, to fall to the ground.


    Empty beer cans were lying on the floor, and convenience store bags full of beer were also on the doorstep.


    Seeing that, Yoon-woo was thinking that he had to get rid of those beer cans later, without fail.


    ¡°Oh, sorry¡­ ¡­ . Oh my God¡­ ¡­ . Yoon-woo¡¯s clothes shouldn¡¯t get dirty¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Ji-eun immediately picked up Yoon-woo¡¯s fallen coat and brushed off the dust exaggeratedly.


    However, Ji-eun¡¯s actions were incomprehensible to Yoon-woo.


    ¡°Huh¡­ ¡­ . Yoon-woo¡¯s clothes are so big~!¡±


    Having said that, Ji-eun took off her jumper, wrapped it around her waist, and tied her sleeves to fix it.


    Then she put on Yoon-woo¡¯s coat.


    He couldn¡¯t understand why she had to take off her jumper and wear his coat.


    Did she get tired of wearing only a hoodie and jumper every day and wanted to try on something different?


    ¡°Look! Yoon-woo! You have very long arms! Aren¡¯t my arms very short? heh heh¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Ji-eun looked at Yoon-woo and smiled and waved her cuffs, the length of sleeves engulfing her hands.


    Ji-eun, who was smiling for a while, waved her sleeve with an innocent face, knowing that it was so funny.


    Then, at some point, she suddenly stopped laughing at herself¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡°Ah! right!¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­ . Hey.¡±


    ¡± Ah¡­Can¡¯t we just talk while walking to your house?¡±


    ¡°No, I have to say it here. Listen! How about we¡­ ¡­ I mean¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Yeah, what is it?¡±


    ¡°I mean¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯ll buy you some soju soon, so wait here!¡±


    Ji-eun shouted, then quickly turned around and started running into the alley where the convenience store was located.


    Her attitude, as if she had something important to say, was a trick to get away from Yoon-woo, who stopped her from drinking.


    What the hell is this in the morning¡­ ¡­ .


    Yoon-woo also ran, with all his might, to catch up with Ji-eun.


    Yoon-woo, who has longer legs and more stamina than Ji-eun, was tricked by her and started one step late, but he managed to get in the way before she entered the convenience store.


    Yoon-woo continued to block Ji-eun as she tried to run into the convenience store while avoiding him, but eventually, he couldn¡¯t take it anymore and grabbed her shoulders.


    ¡°Noona, let¡¯s just go back without doing this¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡°No! Let me go! I¡¯m going to the convenience store! I¡¯ll buy you soju!¡±


    ¡°What more drinks are you buying here? ¡­ .¡±


    Although she looks small and fragile, it took more force than he thought to subdue her who was desperately struggling while drinking, being careful not to get hurt and not to make any troublesome physical contact with her.


    Ji-eun, who was grabbed by Yoon-woo¡¯s hands, kept trying to hit Yoon-woo. Yoon-woo, who lost his strength while blocking, was hit with her head only once. But, it was more painful than he thought.


    I knew she didn¡¯t do it intentionally, but¡­ ¡­ .


    Because of the height difference between Ji-eun and Yoon-woo, when Ji-eun hits Yoon-woo, it exactly hits the place where his heart is located.


    ¡°Ugh¡­ ¡­ . Noona¡­ ¡­ please¡­ ¡­ Let¡¯s go home now¡­ ¡­ . Okay?¡±


    ¡°Huh? Yoon-woo, Are you flirting with me right now? Do you want to go to your house with me?¡±


    ¡°No ¡­ . Let¡¯s just go to your house.¡±


    ¡°My house? right¡­ ¡­ . We have a lot of alcohol in our house! It¡¯s much better than soju! You haven¡¯t drunk any liquor, have you? Would you like to drink Bacardi-coke too? Very tasty!¡±


    ¡°Why should I drink that¡­ . It¡¯s late, noona. We should just go to sleep¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Right! Come to think of it, I don¡¯t have coke at home¡­ ¡­ . You need coke to make Bacardi-coke. Ah¡­ ¡­ . Come to think of it, I didn¡¯t come out to buy beer, did I? I went out to buy a coke, but forgot coke? And, why am I drinking beer?¡±


    ¡°Noona¡­Uh ¡­ Stop it now¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo, get out of your way! I have to go get a coke!¡±


    I didn¡¯t know dealing with drunkards could be this hard.


    He didn¡¯t know that Ji-eun, whom he thought was deep and mature, would turn into such an immature girl, a complete contrary to her appearance at university.


    People who don¡¯t have violent tendencies like his father, do they all change like this when they drink too much?


    Then, did he do something like this to Ji-eun?


    If he imagined it like that, he would shake it off from his mind for a while in a sense of shame, but now he couldn¡¯t even think about that.


    I felt like I was going to die right now.


    Fortunately, Ji-eun¡¯s struggle to run to the convenience store gradually subsided.


    Did she just give up and go home now?


    But he was too optimistic to even think so.


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­ . A little¡­ ¡­ . bikini¡­ ¡­ pel¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Noona? Ji-eun noona!?¡±


    Ji-eun¡¯s voice got smaller and smaller.


    The later part of her speech was muffled, so I couldn¡¯t even understand her pronunciation clearly.


    In fact, it was a natural result.


    Ji-eun said that she drank a lot of alcohol today, and she walked to his house drinking beer and burst into tears, and while running to a convenience store, she was caught by him and struggled for a long time.


    With her physical strength, there was no more energy left for her to move.


    ¡°Noona! Noona?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Noona¡­¡­ Perhaps¡­you are asleep?¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­ . Cola¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Even the last words of looking for coke were close to sleep talk.


    Ji-eun fell asleep with her head resting on Yoon-woo¡¯s chest with her eyes closed.


    No matter how much Yoon-woo called Ji-eun and shook her shoulders, Ji-eun did not think of opening her eyes.


    ¡°Noona? Noona! What should I do if you sleep like this¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­ . Noona¡­ ¡­ please¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    When I checked the phone, it was already three in the morning.


    How the hell am I supposed to deal with this situation? ¡­ . Several thoughts ran through Yoon-woo¡¯s head.


    First of all, there will be a way to somehow get Ji-eun into the taxi and take her to her house.


    However, he did not know the password for Ji-eun¡¯s door lock.


    Standing still in front of Ji-eun¡¯s house waiting for her to tell her password, who doesn¡¯t know when to wake up, may take some time, and the police may come by the reports of local residents who would misunderstand the situation.


    Then, another option would be to call Hye-rim right away.


    But I¡¯ll disturb Hye-rim if I wake her up and make Ji-eun sleep in her house¡­ ¡­ .


    This was also a bad idea.


    When she saw Ji-eun and him lying together last time, she was very angry.


    She would have a strange misunderstanding if he showed up while he was carrying Ji-eun, who is drunk and unconscious.


    Of course, if I explain properly, Hyerim will eventually believe me, but I don¡¯t know how long it will take.


    So how about taking her to a motel?


    The fee is expensive, but it was not an amount that could not be covered if I put my savings this month.


    There was a motel right next to the coin laundry that Yoon-woo often went to. However¡­ ¡­ .


    There is a really big problem with that method.


    If she¡¯s awake, and what will she think if she finds out she¡¯s unknowingly lying in a motel room?


    Besides, the one on her top was his coat¡­ ¡­ .


    Will she misunderstand what he did? Will there be a big billboard announcing his crime?


    Will he be sued?


    So, in the end, the only way left is¡­ ¡­ .


    He had no choice but to put Ji-eun to sleep in his bedroom.


    That method is likely to lead to a misunderstanding similar to that of a motel, but it will be much easier to clear up this one.


    Because the bed in his bedroom is so narrow that they can¡¯t even lie down together, let alone do anything.


    In fact, it is a bed in which it is too hard for him to lie down, so he has to put his hands together and sleep in a stiff posture.


    However, Ji-eun, who is small in stature, will be able to sleep more comfortably than him.


    That way, he would have to sleep on his desk, but last time, he was drunk and slept in Ji-eun¡¯s house, so he thought it was natural to endure that much.


    And now, he was exhausted from this entire ordeal with Ji-eun, and he was so tired that he would faint if his head touched the surface right away, whether on his desk or anywhere.


    I thought that Ji-eun would be light because of her small body, but lifting a person on his back was not an easy task.


    Wouldn¡¯t she be around 40 kilograms, no matter how light the build?


    Come to think of it, it was never easy for him to do the back squat with a 40kg barbell on his shoulders.


    Besides, the one on his back was a person, and unlike a barbell, he had no place to hold her.


    A person who is asleep like this does not give any consideration to the person holding him.


    It would be nice if she had a handle on the back somehow¡­ ¡­ .


    Thinking like that, Yoon-woo lifted Ji-eun on his back.


    Yoon-woo went through a lot of trouble until he moved Ji-eun, who was still immobile, onto his back.


    Trying to support Ji-eun¡¯s weight without touching Ji-eun¡¯s buttocks as much as possible consumed a lot of his strength.


    The fortunate thing was that as soon as Yoon-woo put Ji-eun on his back, Ji-eun hugged Yoon-woo¡¯s neck tightly.


    Come to think of it, Ji-eun slept holding Yoon-woo¡¯s arm tight the last time too.


    Do people have a sleeping habit like that?


    Thanks to this, Yoon-woo was able to lessen the worry of Ji-eun being injured by falling from his back.


    However, Ji-eun, who fell asleep while drunk, took a deep breath and exhaled, touching the back of his neck, and he had no choice but to endure the tickling sensation.


    Still, it wasn¡¯t too difficult to walk from the convenience store to the front door.


    The real problem was the stairs.


    This is because the building in Yun-woo¡¯s room is very old and there is no elevator, and his room is on the third floor.


    Because the left and right width of the stairs was narrow, he had to focus all of his attention to prevent Ji-eun¡¯s feet from getting swept against the wall.


    So he climbed up to the third floor and was exhausted.


    ¡®Uh¡­ ¡­ . I have to tell Hye-rim that I can¡¯t go to the gym tomorrow. Oh, it¡¯s not tomorrow, it¡¯s today¡¯


    Consumed by that thought, Yoon-woo entered the door lock password.


    Now, Yoon-woo can finally rest as he puts Ji-eun down on the bed carefully, so as to not disturb her slumber.


    The wind blowing into his room was chilly, but the bed was warm because he forgot to turn off his electric blanket when he got out of the room after answering Ji-eun¡¯s phone call.


    Isn¡¯t that the perfect environment for sleeping?


    Will Ji-eun rise again?


    Yoon-woo was lying on his desk with his back throbbing.


    In the morning, the muscle pain that I got from exercising at the gym with Hye-rim was still there.


    I looked at the clock and it was almost 4 in the morning¡­ ¡­ .


    If I slept for 3 more hours, woke up at 7 o¡¯clock, contacted Hye-rim that I would take a break from the gym, went back to sleep and slept until 9:30, I could sleep for about 5 hours.


    It wasn¡¯t even a minute when Yoon-woo thought so.


    ¡°Ah-oh¡­ ¡­ . Why is it so hot? Agy? What? Where am I?¡±


    ¡®Ah¡­she¡¯s awake¡­ ¡­ . Why¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    I went up the stairs to the third floor and I barely got to sleep. Why the hell did she wake up now?


    If I was going to get up anyway, she should¡¯ve woken up 10 minutes earlier¡­ ¡­ .


    Or if you just woke up a few hours late¡­ ¡­ .


    However, Yoon-woo raised his head and suppressed the words of resentment that were in his heart.


    This is because Yoon-woo probably caused a similar inconvenience to Ji-eun.


    It was also his mistake.


    Ji-eun had forgotten that she had a jumper wrapped around her waist and his coat over it.


    If you lie on the bed with the electric blanket turned on in that state, of course it will be hot.


    ¡°Here¡­ ¡­ It¡¯s my room, noona.¡±


    ¡°Uh, huh? why? Why am I in your room?¡±


    Fearing that Ji-eun might misunderstand, Yoon-woo quickly brought out the words of explanation he had prepared.


    ¡°Since noona fell asleep on the street¡­ ¡­ . I couldn¡¯t leave you like that. I couldn¡¯t wake Hye-rim, and I couldn¡¯t take you to a motel¡­ ¡­ . If I had known that you would get up so soon, I would have gone to noona house¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­It¡¯s okay. But where are you sleeping?¡±


    ¡°I will sleep here.¡±


    ¡°Hey, how do you sleep there like that?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m fine. I can sleep.¡±


    ¡®It¡¯s okay, so please just sleep. Please just let me sleep.¡¯ Yoon-woo was thinking that to himself.


    ¡°Don¡¯t do that¡­ ¡­ . Just come to bed here.¡±


    ¡°No. I can¡¯t. I¡¯m really fine, so don¡¯t worry about it and go to sleep.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t! After all, you slept in the same position in my bed last time, didn¡¯t you? You did it once, so what are you embarrassed about?¡±


    ¡°There are things that are embarrassing, and this is physically impossible. That bed is too small for me to sleep together.¡±


    ¡°How do you know if it is possible or impossible? Have you tried before? You haven¡¯t even done it!¡±


    ¡®Ah, this person is drunk,¡¯ Yoon-woo thought to himself. Anyway, no matter how strong Ji-eun was to alcohol, she couldn¡¯t wake up from being asleep for just a few minutes.


    ¡°That¡­ ¡­ . It will probably be hard. Noona, let¡¯s just sleep like this. It¡¯s late now¡­ ¡­ . I want to go to sleep.¡±


    ¡°Maybe it will be difficult¡­ ¡­ . But,aren¡¯t you really just doing this because you don¡¯t want to come next to me? Is it because you don¡¯t like the smell of alcohol?¡±


    ¡°Uh? No? No¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡®I really, really want to go to sleep soon¡­ ¡­so . please just sleep¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    If possible, Yoon-woo wanted to take out this desperate heart and show it to Ji-eun.


    ¡°Come quickly¡­ ¡­ . Sleeping alone is so lonely¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Is that lonely? ¡­ ¡­ . Noona sleeps alone in that spacious house every day¡­ ¡­¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m lonely. So, I make sure to sleep with a pillow or a doll¡­ ¡­ . I even hid the doll so you can¡¯t see it.¡±


    ¡°What are you telling me that you hid it now¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Anyway! Hurry up and lie down here!¡±


    Ji-eun, who was lying on his bed, shouted. She kicked the blanket off and it was now lying on the floor.


    ¡°Noona, it¡¯s dawn¡­ ¡­ . No soundproofing here¡­ ¡­ . So, be quiet¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Ah! come fast!¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    It¡¯s an old house with little soundproofing, so if you shout your voice louder here, protests will definitely come from the next room. I couldn¡¯t help it.


    Showing that it was really impossible for two people to lie on this bed seemed like the only way to calm the drunkard.


    So Yoon-woo first followed Ji-eun¡¯s words, lay down on the bed, and then told Ji-eun.


    ¡°Look, can I? I can¡¯t even straighten my arms, how can I¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°No way!¡±


    Ji-eun said so and just laid down on Yoon-woo¡¯s body. As if Yoon-woo was also part of the bed¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡°Noona!? what are you doing now¡­.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­ Do you think I will fall? I will just go to the left.¡±


    Ji-eun said so and moved her body to the wall.


    ¡°No¡­ ¡­ . what the hell is this¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Look! isn¡¯t it okay? Why do you say you can¡¯t do it without trying it? Why? With that mindset, how will you lead the future of this country?¡±


    ¡°What are you talking about¡­ ¡­ .Why wouuld you sleep like this¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    When Yoon-woo, who was drunk after eating lamb skewers and slept in Ji-eun¡¯s bed, 50% of Ji-eun¡¯s body was in close contact with Yoon-woo, but now, about 90 percent of Ji-eun¡¯s body is in close contact with him.


    The only thing that didn¡¯t come in contact with Yoon-woo¡¯s body was her feet.


    This was a disgraceful behaviour.


    Ji-eun¡¯s head was put on Yoon-woo¡¯s chest, and her buttocks were placed on the thighs just below his pelvis.


    However, the soles of the feet were in the same position.


    ¡®Maybe she was doing this on purpose or maybe not.¡¯ Yoon-woo thought. It¡¯s because Ji-eun kept shaking her feet, the loose socks on Ji-eun¡¯s feet kept gliding across Yoon-woo¡¯s soles, making it tickle.


    ¡°Now, can¡¯t you sleep? You can sleep with your eyes closed.¡±


    ¡°Noona, it¡¯s not really good like this.¡±


    ¡°Are you sure it¡¯s not because I¡¯m heavy?¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Then don¡¯t ask. If you ask more, I will pinch you.¡±


    ¡°No, wait¡­ ¡­ . Aww.¡±


    The place where Ji-eun pinched on was quite painful; It was his waist.


    Yoon-woo was embarrassed and frustrated.


    I checked the time and it was 4:30 in the morning.


    No matter how much I thought about it, my nerves were not so dull that I could sleep with Ji-eun¡¯s drunken body overlapping on me like a Tetris block.


    Besides, the heat from the electric blanket and Ji-eun¡¯s body temperature added to it, it felt like I was going to die from the heat.


    Yoon-woo moved his arm slowly to find the switch and turned off the electric blanket.


    And after confirming that Ji-eun¡¯s breathing had become quiet, he gently pulled his body out and tried to move to the desk. However¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡°Aww!¡±


    Ji-eun, who she thought was sleeping, pinched his side again.


    Stronger than before¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡°Why are you running away? Don¡¯t you like lying with me like that? Am I that uncomfortable?¡±


    ¡°No¡­ ¡­ . It¡¯s not like it.¡±


    ¡®But it¡¯s uncomfortable. To the extent that I can¡¯t sleep.¡¯ It was Yoon-woo who swallowed those words inside. There¡¯s nothing to say to Ji-eun.


    ¡°Then¡­ ¡­ Don¡¯t run away while I¡¯m sleeping¡­ ¡­ . Understand?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Okay.¡±


    But Ji-eun also buried her face in his chest, lying face down, and hugged his neck with her arms, as if she couldn¡¯t believe her words alone.


    And¡­ ¡­ she fell asleep in that state.


    Ji-eun¡¯s exhalation touching his collarbone, the smell of Ji-eun¡¯s alcohol in the room, Ji-eun¡¯s feet constantly tickling his feet¡­ ¡­ .


    There was no way Yoon-woo, who had not drank alcohol, could fall asleep in this state.


    I wanted to take the medicine box out of the drawer and take some bedtime pills, but if I took the medicine at this time, I thought I would miss all the classes tomorrow.


    If that happens, I will have to explain to Hye-rim what happened today.


    If I explain this, I may leave a big scar on Ji-eun¡¯s image.


    There was no way out.


    Yoon-woo just closed his eyes in that position and waited for Ji-eun to fall asleep very deeply, so he changed his sleeping position even a little.


    ¡°Eww¡­ ¡­ uh¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    How long have I waited?


    Ji-eun groaned and released her arms from Yoon-woo¡¯s neck, turning her body and changing her posture.


    Finally, the opportunity has come.


    Still, she might have woken up a bit now because of the moaning sound.


    Yoon-woo quietly counted inwardly, waiting for Ji-eun¡¯s breathing to deepen.


    Even so, I counted 100 more seconds to myself and carefully came out of Ji-eun¡¯s body.


    Fortunately, Ji-eun was still asleep.


    He sighed in relief. Thinking that it would be cold because he turned off his electric blanket, Yoon-woo picked up the blanket that Ji-eun had kicked and covered it on her body.


    Ji-eun still didn¡¯t open her eyes.


    It¡¯s done. Now he was finally able to sleep peacefully!


    I don¡¯t know how many hours are left until 7 o¡¯clock, but I thought I would sleep a little and wake up to be able to attend class tomorrow.


    I was really tired. I was so tired that even the hard wooden desk felt soft.


    Yoon-woo closed his eyes praying that there was as much time left as possible until 7 o¡¯clock¡­ ¡­ .


    At the moment,


    drrrrrrr- drrrrrrr-


    The phone vibrated loudly along with the alarm melody.


    Yoon-woo, who hastily turned off his alarm for fear of waking up Ji-eun, checks the time, and the current time is¡­ ¡­ morning


    It was 7 o¡¯clock.


    ¡®Ah¡­ Damn it ¡­ . Ah¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    ================================


    Please don¡¯t forget to write a review if you like our novel on NU.

 Chapter 39

    Paranoid Love Affair


    Episode 39


    ¨C Hyerim-ah, I think I should skip the gym today.


    -Why? What¡¯s going on?


    ¨C Did I mention I have insomnia? In fact, I barely slept last night, so I think I should get some more sleep. Sorry.


    ¨C No, it¡¯s more important to control your condition! Shall I also rest today? ¡­ .


    Hearing the alarm at 7 in the morning, Yoon-woo, who sent a message to Hye-rim, fell down on the desk again.


    I have a basic economics class at 10:30, so I have to get up and shower at least at 9:30.


    Still, I could sleep better than two and a half hours.


    Before Ji-eun woke me at 2 in the morning, I talked to Hye-eun on the phone and fell asleep around 11 at night, so I slept for about 5 hours in total¡­ ¡­ .


    Just because I slept for two and a half hours combined, it didn¡¯t seem like the fatigue I had with Ji-eun at dawn would go away.


    Fortunately, it was comforting to be able to sleep in a chair in the 5th class of modern business administration today.


    Yoon-woo turned his head and glanced at Ji-eun.


    Because I was worried about what would happen if she woke up again soon.


    Ji-eun turned her body around in her deep sleep.


    It was lucky that Ji-eun was turning to the wall.


    Otherwise, if she had lied straight in the middle of that bed and then turned to the opposite side, she would have immediately fallen off the bed.


    When he first started living on his own, Yoon-woo also woke up quite often by falling out of bed or banging his head against the wall.


    In fact, since Yoon-woo was tall, there was a high possibility to fall out of bed even if he slept near the wall.


    Isn¡¯t it a privilege for Ji-eun, who is small in stature, to be able to sleep on that bed?


    The blanket that Yoon-woo had covered earlier was folded and crumpled and held by Ji-eun.


    It seems that sleeping while holding something is really Ji-eun¡¯s sleeping habit.


    Wouldn¡¯t it be cold over that side?


    Yoon-woo looked at Ji-eun and carefully thought that when he went to class today, he should be careful not to turn off the boiler habitually.


    Then, before I fell back to sleep¡­ ¡­ .


    My eyes caught the sight of Ji-eun¡¯s hair biting into her mouth.


    Feeling sorry for sleeping while eating his own hair, Yoon-woo wiped the hair from Ji-eun¡¯s face with his little finger and pulled the hair out of her mouth.


    Then, Ji-eun¡¯s small and clean face is revealed¡­ ¡­ .


    But to Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes, Ji-eun¡¯s sleeping face looked very unfamiliar.


    Come to think of it, Ji-eun has never been this expressionless.


    She was always talking loudly and smiling or had a playful expression on her face.


    But it was only a few hours ago that he found out that Ji-eun wasn¡¯t always happy and excited.


    Maybe it was because of the revelation, Ji-eun¡¯s sullen face looked really lonely and sad.


    What Hye-eun said was correct.


    He really didn¡¯t know anything about the people around him.


    That was something that he also admitted.


    But his fault was that he thought he didn¡¯t need to know them properly.


    Now he realized that he needed to know a little about Ji-eun.


    If he had, he might have been able to prevent something like today.


    The question about Ji-eun continued to linger in his head as he lay down on his desk again and tried to fall asleep.


    Why the hell did Ji-eun do such a thing?


    Was it really my words that made Ji-eun drink alcohol to such a level?


    If so, why did Ji-eun, who has nothing to regret, take my words so seriously?


    The words that Ji-eun had said before flashed past Yoon-woo¡¯s mind, who was lying face down on the desk.


    Then, there was a point to point out.


    ¡®If it were Hye-rim, not me, here¡­ ¡­ . Maybe, will you choose something different?¡¯


    ¡®Me and Hye-rim¡­ ¡­ . We¡¯re totally different¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    Strangely, the drunken Ji-eun continued to mention Hye-rim, who was not even here.


    Hye-rim and Ji-eun are completely different?


    It didn¡¯t seem like that to him.


    Even if the two have different personalities or appearances, he has thought that their values ??at the core are similar.


    ¡®You are the only one in this world. So you are a very valuable person to me.¡¯


    They¡¯ll have many opportunities in life to meet people who say this kind of thing.


    They probably have never even learned an economics liberal arts book properly surrounded by those kinds of people.


    Just because there is only one in the world doesn¡¯t mean it¡¯s valuable.


    Is there a place in the world where there is no one that is unique, the ¡°only one¡±?


    Even if you pick up a stone from the side of the road, it is the only stone in that place in the world. There is no such thing in the world exactly like it.


    The only stone, the only bug, the only garbage¡­ ¡­ Are they all valuable?


    Even though there is only one Yoon-woo in the world, for Yoon-woo to have value, there must be a lot of demand for Yoon-woo.


    There should be people who offer a price saying, ¡®I can bid up to xx if I can have Yoon-woo.¡¯


    However, there was no such person for Yoon-woo until Hye-eun appeared.


    Can human value be measured by the logic of supply and demand?


    Are all human beings worth high prices?


    There are people who have seizures and foam in their mouths at the slightest smell of money and in the words of evaluating human life with it.


    There are those who cry out that economic logic cannot be applied to human life.


    That¡¯s what people like to say with their mouths and hear with their ears.


    But in fact, we are already pricing our lives with the logic of supply and demand.


    Labor takes up most of the time of human life.


    When most people get a job, they spend more than 80% of their waking hours working, and even the rest of their time is tied to work sometimes.


    But can we think of work as a separate thing from human life?


    Work is, in fact, human life itself.


    But how is the price of that work determined?


    Isn¡¯t it determined by supply and demand?


    Don¡¯t we cut our lives into pieces and put them on the market, and put up quality assurance certificates and various promotional texts to ask the other people to buy them at a slightly higher price?


    In order to prove that I am a human worth a salary of 4,000, do I not advertise by listing all kinds of careers that I have worked and many certificates from schools?


    Perhaps before starting work, even during the school days or even in our childhood, we do not know if work is dominated starting from that time.


    From the market¡¯s point of view, the whole process is just a way to prove your worth as a worker.


    Then, at some point, even the memories, sadness, and joy of one¡¯s childhood are condensed into a few public sales to prove their worth, and even though they are unique and special to oneself, some cannot enter the eyes of labor consumer or buyer, who set the price for them since there are so many of them. And, just like that, even the experiences of life are reduced to factory-made machine parts that are not unique everywhere.


    Economist Karl Polanyi says that after the Industrial Revolution, people began to incorporate things that cannot be incorporated into market logic, such as land and work.


    ( T/N: You can search Karl Polanyi on wiki to know more about him.


    Link:


    Polanyi)


    Work is life itself, and land is our nature and living ground. How can we treat it as a mere factor of production and set a price based on market logic?


    He was wary of market logic expanding endlessly and eating up all areas of life.


    But in Yoon-woo¡¯s mind, the world was originally a market version.


    The market that Polanyi refers to is a market where money and goods come and go, but in fact, the human mind is also traded similarly to the market.


    How much more would you pay to win someone¡¯s heart? People who line up in turn offer large and small prices, and the person who offers the highest price wins.


    For example, something like this


    ¡®What should I do to have lunch with you? Of course, I will buy you lunch, and after that, I will drive you home, and I will tell you a lot of funny stories that I have prepared, and I will always treat you with kindness and consideration.¡¯


    ¡®Well? The 33rd buyer of my can buy me a more expensive lunch, drive a better car, talk more witty, and be kinder than you. The 32rd customer eliminated, and the next 34th consumer, please suggest a price.¡¯


    In fact, aren¡¯t all human encounters a process like this?


    Mostly, I think so. I think that the more important issues such as being a lover or getting married, rather than having a lunch date, are more likely to follow this logic.


    In his life, as he already knew, Hye-eun is the only exception.


    Since there is no competitor, it is enough to offer a very low price for his heart, but she didn¡¯t.


    If you look at it that way, Hye-rim and Ji-eun are people with a huge number of queuing buyers.


    Those buyers quarrel with each other by offering a huge price for each little thought that Hye-rim and Ji-eun shed.


    If Yoon-woo¡¯s heart is a cheap product that a subway janitor sells at a low price to his friends, Ji-eun or Hye-rim¡¯s heart is the highest-priced luxury that is secretly shown only to the highest-ranking VIP members of the luxury store.


    But, how can such a person feel inferior to someone else?


    For Yoon-woo, it was absurd.


    But it wasn¡¯t something I didn¡¯t understand at all.


    For example, many people call Dongseo University, Yonsei University, and Konkuk University together as the top-ranking universities in Korea, but the students are not always filled with the confidence that ¡®I am an elite attending the top-ranked universities in Korea!¡¯


    Yoon-woo has always lived with a feeling of inferiority that he did not pass the junior college, but surprisingly, he was not the only one who had such a heart.


    This is because, in the required liberal arts class in the second semester of the first year, there were a few students who disappeared without a word even though there were names in the attendance list to prepare for the junior high school class.


    According to the professor, there are just a few people like that every year.


    ¡®I don¡¯t know why Konkuk is such a good university, dear. Heh heh heh¡­ ¡­ ¡®


    Yoon-woo seemed to know why.


    Because he wanted to do the same like them.


    The reason he doesn¡¯t do that is because he has already paid for the tuition fees at that time.


    It¡¯s because his parents don¡¯t approve of his luck. And, he also didn¡¯t want to delay his graduation year, that is, the deadline to die.


    In front of your eyes, the colorful fruit was glimmering but you couldn¡¯t reach it¡­ ¡­ .


    Then, if you keep reaching out for that shimmering fruit, and you can¡¯t get it in the end, so you just stare at it in disbelief¡­ ¡­ .


    Everything else in your hands often feels futile and worthless in front of this fruit.


    Maybe Ji-eun is like that?


    A lot of people other than Hye-rim find Ji-eun, befriends her and her cell phone constantly rings. When she is bored and lonely, she has a happy life with someone to meet her at any time, but those things have already become too natural to her, so it will become boring for her.


    And, after staring blankly at Hye-rim shining brilliantly next to her, she stopped noticing the value of what she had.


    The things she didn¡¯t have were shining so bright before her eyes that she had forgotten everything she had.


    In Yoon-woo¡¯s mind, it was too much of a waste.


    He would not have decided to die if he had one-tenth of people that were looking for Ji-eun.


    She would have been able to live with herself as a woman who looked as cute as she was.


    But why does such a person feel inferior by looking at Hye-rim?


    For Yoon-woo, it was difficult to say who was a superior person between Hye-rim and Ji-eun.


    Hye-rim has her Hye-rim charm, and her Ji-eun has her Ji-eun charm.


    Some people like Ji-eun more, and some people like Hye-rim more.


    And, to be honest, I was more comfortable with Ji-eun than Hye-rim.


    I thought that Hyerim is a beautiful and wonderful person, but I didn¡¯t like it when I got people¡¯s attention just by walking with her.


    I also thought that it was rather burdensome for me that she was constantly trying to buy something or do this and that, and it was difficult for me to keep talking to her.


    On the other hand, Ji-eun is a person who always makes the person comfortable with whomever she is with.


    She didn¡¯t even talk much.


    She laughed and talked to herself, because all she did was joke around in moderation.


    She also buys lamb skewers for us in exchange for using my notes.


    In fact, I thought that she lived according to her own will, but considering what happened earlier, it seems that she puts a lot of effort in the ways to be considerate of others.


    She harbored such a sense of inferiority inside and treated Hye-rim and me with a smile, even though she was grieving¡­


    She asked me if I really had an earring that suits her, she asked me if she could give it to her.


    In fact, on Ji-eun¡¯s doll-like face, there must be a lot of earrings that match her.


    ¡®I hate it¡­ ¡­ . I don¡¯t do it because it doesn¡¯t suit me.¡¯


    Yoon-woo seemed to understand now why Ji-eun was friendly and took good care of him.


    She is just wrong and mistaken.


    As she continued to live with Hye-rim, she lost her confidence and could not see her own worth with her objective eyes.


    Maybe she¡¯s thinking, ¡®A little boy like Yoon-woo is perfect for playing with me.¡¯


    So, she couldn¡¯t take Yoon-woo¡¯s words lightly.


    Even thinking about it, he could not sleep peacefully.


    He couldn¡¯t stand it, thinking that the favor or consideration by Ji-eun to him was caused by Ji-eun¡¯s misunderstanding of her own worth.


    If such a relationship continues, Yoon-woo may one day hope that Ji-eun does not realize her original value since there will always be someone beside him.


    If not, he may see the cold eyes of Ji-eun who regained her consciousness and may experience misery, which he should not have felt originally.


    Yoon-woo only needs Hye-eun.


    He does not want to be disappointed after setting new expectations on anyone other than Hye-eun. He doesn¡¯t even want the favors from Ji-eun who has been having her own misunderstanding.


    So, Ji-eun, she needs to know who she is.


    ¡®Because I only slept for five hours¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯m going to sleep in the 5th class later¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    The ¡®UST¡¯ accessory shop was open at 10 am.


    After a series of thoughts, Yoon-woo concluded that Ji-eun was simply just drunk and should act upon her request immediately.


    I was thinking of giving the earring I saw at the collaboration product section yesterday.


    Anyway, I didn¡¯t even spend half of the money I was originally going to spend on Hyerim, so I had room for my budget.


    The problem was what to say to Ji-eun while giving it to her.


    If it goes wrong, she may be offended or remember her drunken mistake, causing her to feel embarrassed.


    And, sadly, Ji-eun is in a state where her confidence is so low that she is hurt by his words.


    After thinking about it for a while, Yoon-woo grabbed his cell phone from his desk and pressed Ji-eun¡¯s profile.


    And he thought hard about what to say.


    It seemed presumptuous and cocky for Yoon-woo to say whatever he thought, but it was something he had to say now.


    Ji-eun woke up from her sleep at 11 am, four hours after that.


    ¡®Hah, what should I do¡­ ¡­ . Now, how should I face Yoon-woo?¡¯


    ¡®Ah, if you¡¯ve been drinking, you¡¯ll sleep at home, so why the hell are you crawling out? And, even if you crawl out, why are you here? If I had gone to Hye-rim¡¯s house, she would have listened to my nagging¡­¡¯


    The clothes Ji-eun was wearing and the socks she was wearing belonged to Yoon-woo.


    I thought I was going to die because I caused his coat to smell like alcohol, but on top of that¡­


    As I was about to take off his socks, I remembered last night when I held out my feet to Yoon-woo to put them on.


    ¡®Ah¡­! Yoo Ji-eun, are you sane?You are definitely crazy¡­ How the hell do you fix this now? How will he see you? Shall I just take a leave of absence and quietly disappear? Or shall I just die? I¡¯m crazy really¡­¡¯


    But now was not the time to reflect on her own actions like that.


    I have to apologize to Yoon-woo right now.


    It¡¯s best to do it over the phone, but he¡¯s probably in class right now¡­ ¡­ . First, send a message and then call him after class¡­ ¡­ .


    With that thought in mind, Ji-eun looked for her cell phone and saw a small gift package lying on the desk.


    The beautifully wrapped box was placed right next to Ji-eun¡¯s cell phone.


    ¡®What is this? . ¡­ Did Yoon-woo have a girlfriend? So I¡¯m saying that to a boy who has a girlfriend? Ah¡­ ¡­ . A leave of absence or suicide? ¡­ .¡¯


    It was Ji-eun who thought that she should first apologize and seriously consider taking a leave of absence.


    However, when she opened the Kakao Talk app, I noticed that there were several long KakaoTalk messages from Yoon-woo.


    ¡®¡­ ¡­ What? What else did I do wrong? Why are you sending such a long message¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    Swallowing her fearful heart, Ji-eun slowly read Yoon-woo¡¯s message down.


    ¨C Noona, the situation may be a misunderstanding to you, but I didn¡¯t do anything strange to you drunken self. really.


    ¡®Even if you don¡¯t say it, I know. Only I must have done something weird¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    Judging from her last memory, it was clear that Yoon-woo moved her by himself to his room and put her to sleep.


    -The password for my room¡¯s door lock is xxxx, the password for the entrance is xxxx, and the address is Anam-dong, Seongbuk-gu¡­ So, if you wake up after lunchtime or if Hye-rim can¡¯t come home because of the class, you can order something to eat, or go out and eat something and take a good rest. My class ends today after 3pm.


    -Oh, and I bought noona¡¯s favorite chocolate milk in the refrigerator, so if you want to drink it with cool water, it¡¯s on the door of the refrigerator¡­ ¡­


    ¡®Ah¡­ ¡­ . Why are you doing this for me? Now I feel even more guilty¡¯


    ¨C And, noona, this might be presumptuous and cocky for me to talk about¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡®What? What else is left? Are you trying to tell me to drink a little more carefully? Ah¡­ ¡­ . Scrolling down is scary.¡¯


    Still, it was impossible not to confirm.


    With her trembling heart, Ji-eun moved her finger to read the message until the end, and she reread the message again and again, wondering if she had read it wrong.


    After that, Ji-eun looked at the gift package and thought that she was lucky that Yoon-woo was not here.


    It was because it seemed that she could not hide her feelings in front of Yoon-woo; they were running wild like a torrent.


    ¨C I¡¯m not going to say who¡¯s pretty or who isn¡¯t, but I think noona is very pretty.


    -You¡¯re pretty, you have a good personality, you drink well, you also made jokes while talking with others, so I¡¯ve always been envious of you. So I didn¡¯t know noona would take my words that way. Sorry for saying it without thinking.


    -But I have no idea why noona thinks that you are inferior to Hye-rim.


    ¨C As there are people who like Hye-rim more than noona, there must also be people who like you more than Hye-rim. As much as the things Hye-rim is better than noona, there are many things that noona is better than Hyerim.


    -And I also thought it was convenient to talk to noona more. I¡¯m not very talkative, so it¡¯s burdensome and difficult to talk to people, but talking to noona wasn¡¯t like that¡­ ¡­ . Maybe it¡¯s because noona cares about me that much?


    ¨C The box next to my sister¡¯s cell phone is the earring I was talking about yesterday. I stared at it because it was pretty, and without realizing it, I even accidentally said that it didn¡¯t suit Hye-rim yesterday at the ¡®UST¡¯ store.


    -I think this suits noona more than Hye-rim. Just as I thought, the hoop-shaped earrings from yesterday suits Hye-rim more than noona.


    ¨C Even a girl named Saebyul said noona was very pretty, so maybe I¡¯m not the only one who thinks this way.


    -By the way, I chose these earrings¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯m not very good at it, so if you don¡¯t like it, you can refund it. So I left the receipt as it is, and the ¡®UST¡¯ store is right in front of my house. ¡­ .


    ¡°Are you crazy? Refund?¡±


    Ji-euhn, who was reading the message, said aloud.


    ¡°This¡­ ¡­ is mine. Yoon-woo gave it to me¡­ ¡­ . Even if a bonobono comes to reality, I have to wear it¡­ ¡±


    ( Bonobono: A character from bonobono anime. )


    Mumbling like that, Ji-eun carefully opened the gift package.


    ================================


    If you like this novel, please don¡¯t forget to write a review on NU.

 Chapter 40

    Paranoid Love Affair


    Episode 40


    Naturally, what was in the box was not the earrings with Bonobono shape.


    It was a ring-shaped earring with a purple cubic flower embedded in the center, and small cubic stones were embedded around the flower, which seemed to represent a wreath of a star.


    It was small and had a cute look and it had more decorations than Hye-rim¡¯s earrings.


    Ji-eun sat at Yoon-woo¡¯s desk, put the earring on her palm, and stared at it for a while.


    After looking at the earrings, she pulled out her cell phone again and looked at the message Yoon-woo sent.


    After repeating this action for several times, Ji-eun took the earrings, went to the bathroom mirror and put the earrings in her ears.


    In fact, there was already a hole in her earlobe.


    The hole she dug impulsively in her third year of high school remained unblocked.


    I think it¡¯s only been a few weeks since I wore the earrings at that time, but strangely, the hole was still unblocked.


    It was a small escape from exam stress.


    Maybe back then, I was a little bubbly because I heard so many people talking about me, saying I was cute.


    So I wondered how my friends would react if I wore earrings.


    Although it was forbidden to wear jewelry such as earrings at school, I also wanted to see myself get caught and scolded for nothing at that time.


    In high school, I had good grades and I had never bought in for trouble or received disciplinary action, so I had never had any authority figure raise their voice at me.


    Sometimes, I was just offended by the teachers who stroked my head once for nothing when they saw me.


    So I went down one weekend to buy the books from the bookstore on the ninth floor of the mall.


    And, I impulsively went into the accessory store, pierced my ears, and wore droplet-shaped earrings.


    Then I went to school with a fluttering heart, but people¡¯s reaction which I expected was not very good.


    First off, there was no one to notice that I was wearing earrings.


    ¡®Why doesn¡¯t anyone know? Maybe my head is low, so they can¡¯t see my ears clearly¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    ¡®Or, is it because the earrings don¡¯t suit me so much that they have to pretend they didn¡¯t even see me¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    But, I didn¡¯t have anyone pretending not to know me, and when I heard the compliments after a few days of wearing the earrings, I wasn¡¯t taken seriously.


    After all, when people look at her and say that she is cute and pretty, they are just talking about her half-jokingly because of her small body.


    No one looked at her properly.


    Ji-eun, who came to that conclusion, eventually decided that she wasn¡¯t the girl who¡¯s suitable for dressing up, and tucked her earrings into a deep corner of her desk drawer.


    I didn¡¯t want people to notice my pierced ears.


    I was embarrassed of the fact that I had tried to embellish my little face because I thought I was pretty.


    If they found out about it, they were likely to laugh at me.


    But I did not clog the hole even after quite some time had passed.


    Even these days, when I was drunk, I sometimes looked in the mirror and touched my ear and said, ¡®Have you been drinking too much to get them clogged? Does drinking have anything to do with this?¡¯


    But today¡­ ¡­ . I felt lucky that I didn¡¯t clog it.


    Otherwise, I would have had to go piercing again and wouldn¡¯t be able to try on these earrings right now.


    Maybe I have been leaving the hole unblocked so far to wear this earring that Yoon-woo gave me as a gift?


    There are many beautiful earrings in the world.


    Of course. Made with gold, silver, pearls, diamonds, amethysts¡­Using a material that is much more expensive than this earring, there are probably more which includes the essences of art made by artisans with specialized skills with all their devotion.


    But can I wear something like that on my ear?


    Wouldn¡¯t people think that a playful elementary school student stole her mother¡¯s earring and put it on secretly?


    Even if someone doesn¡¯t say anything to me, I will continue to ask such questions.


    I will continue to feel uneasy about whether I am the right person for the earrings or not.


    In middle school and high school, my nickname was ¡®An elementary student¡¯.


    The problem was that there were people who misunderstood that joke as the truth.


    Every time that happens, I get angry and say, ¡®I¡¯m not an elementary school student. Do I have to carry a sign that says ¡®I was born in xx¡¯ ?¡¯.


    Fortunately, I was able to carry such a sign as soon as I went to college.


    It was just oversleeping.


    ¡®Does Ji-eun only wear jumpers every day? Come wear some pretty clothes! I miss you so much.¡¯


    A lot of people said that.


    I was suspicious of their intentions.


    Maybe they want to make fun of me?


    Wouldn¡¯t it be exclamation like ¡®Cute!¡¯ or ¡®You look like a child!¡¯?


    Of course, such a statement is clearly based on goodwill.


    But I didn¡¯t like that. I didn¡¯t want to be treated like a Shih Tzu puppy out for a walk with the hairpins on.


    I wanted to be treated like a grown-up woman, just like when people admire Hye-rim¡¯s looks.


    ¡®They are bothersome. What if I wear pretty clothes and spill a drink? And, jumpers are the best for oversleeping¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    So, I made excuses like that.


    As if I were a person who only pursues what is comfortable¡­ ¡­ .


    Like someone who doesn¡¯t care about adorning her looks¡­ ¡­ .


    However, just as the steadily accumulated trans fat in the blood vessels for ample amounts of time causes the arteriosclerosis, my accumulated desires to be treated as a proper woman also converted anger over time and eventually burst.


    [ Arteriosclerosis: Arteriosclerosis occurs when the blood vessels that carry oxygen and nutrients from your heart to the rest of your body (arteries) become thick and stiff ¡ª sometimes restricting blood flow to your organs and tissues. ]


    My heart was something I had to somehow solve on my own, but yesterday I finally poured out my anger on Yoon-woo.


    However, Yoon-woo accepted all of my actions.


    Not only did he deal with me, who became drunk and relentlessly poured out her desires, he even put me to sleep in his room. He was also worried about me and sent a kind gesture, instead of passing over just a drunkard¡¯s insistence as nonsense, with the pretty earrings.


    It wasn¡¯t just that I was happy because the earrings were pretty.


    Yoon-woo assured me that these earrings would suit me.


    No matter what other people think, there is at least one person in the world who thinks these earrings suit me.


    Even if that person is Yoon-woo¡­


    If someone says ¡®Huh? Why did you suddenly start wearing the earrings? While you said you don¡¯t like to decorate¡­¡¯ When someone asked such a question, I now had something to say.


    I don¡¯t have to think of excuses for why I want to decorate.


    I just have to answer that I was given a present.


    Then the other person will ask me, who gave me the present.


    When asked such a question, will I tell you about Yoon-woo?


    Or will I hide?


    Her smile came out while thinking about herself.


    She had a desire to show off to someone that the gift was given to her by a good-looking junior in the Department of Economics, and she also had a desire to not let anyone know about Yoon-woo.


    In the end, Yoon-woo not only gave me earrings, but also issued a permit to wear the earrings confidently.


    ¡°Heh heh¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    The smile did not disappear from her lips as she stood in front of the mirror.


    The earrings and Yoon-woo, who gave them as a gift, were unbearably lovely.


    If Yoon-woo had been right next to me, I might have kissed him because I can¡¯t contain this feeling.


    Not only the earrings, but also the words Yoon-woo gave with Kakao talk were like a gift.


    Yoon-woo said that this earring suits me more than Hye-rim.


    He said that there are many things that I have better than Hye-rim.


    Ji-eun is pretty, has a good personality, talks wittily, and when she speaks, she is considerate of others¡­


    Yoon-woo looked at me very well.


    I have a lot of things I want to say when I see Yoon-woo. He took care of me even after my blabberings last night.


    Does he like my personality?


    I am Jieun and of course, I know how kinky I am.


    I am just trying not to reveal it to anyone.


    But, Yoon-woo affirmed me, which I couldn¡¯t even affirm myself.


    What the hell am I supposed to do with Yoon-woo?


    Today, no, I thought I would have to keep thinking about this for a while.


    ¨C Hye-rim, I don¡¯t think we can have lunch together today. I¡¯m not feeling well.


    Ji-eun first sent a message to Hye-rim rather than Yoon-woo.


    Although I had time to spare, I had to go to my own house first, not Hye-rim¡¯s.


    Because I couldn¡¯t show Yoon-woo wearing the same clothes as yesterday.


    My body smells of alcohol.


    I also have to bring the 5th period textbook.


    The first period was an elective liberal arts class that I could make up for even if I missed it at least once¡­


    The 5th period could not be missed because it was an econometrics class where you could only follow the contents of the class if you heard by yourself.


    ¡®Ah¡­ ¡­ . But this¡­ ¡­ What is this scent?¡¯


    As soon as I tried to wash up my face , the cloak that Yoon-woo had covered for me smelled of alcohol.


    Besides, socks¡­ ¡­ I slept with this on, so obviously¡­ ¡­ I can smell alcohol¡­ ¡­ I was embarrassed and sorry to put it in Yoon-woo¡¯s laundry in such a state and to leave.


    It would be reasonable for me to wash it and return it.


    Ji-eun thought so and put the socks in Yoon-woo¡¯s jacket pocket, folded the jacket, and held it in her arms.


    She then started replying to Yoon-woo.


    -Yoon-woo-ya, I¡¯m so sorry. You didn¡¯t do anything wrong when I was drunk. I know. Only I overdid it.


    ¨C Was it really hard for me to drink alcohol? You couldn¡¯t even sleep well¡­ ¡­ . Sorry.


    ¨C I was making a lot of noise at home to make a cocktail by myself and I drank too much¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯ll never do that again. And as a token of my apology, I will definitely buy rice once. Of course, no alcohol!


    ¨C And the earrings are really pretty. I will definitely wear it¡­ ¡­ .


    ¨C If I¡¯m begging for such a present, I must have been really drunk. Can¡¯t you tell me how much? I just can¡¯t take it because I¡¯m so embarrassed¡­ ¡­ .


    -And I¡¯ll wash your jacket and socks and return them right away. They smell a lot of alcohol¡­


    -Thank you so much for saying good things about me. To say such nice things to a senior like me who was drunk and riotous¡­ ¡­ .


    Whether it was because she drank too much or was it because she was nervous, Ji-eun¡¯s hand trembled as she sent a message to Yoon-woo.


    ¡®However¡­ ¡­ . I drank and played very hard ¡­ . What if he¡¯s just tired of it and goes along with it?¡¯


    If you think about it, by nature, Yoon-woo tends to follow other people¡¯s words.


    So maybe he just listened to all the drunken me without any thoughts?


    In other words, it is only an action according to his personality and may be completely separate from his feelings for me.


    Looking back, would it make sense to think well of a person who came to him drunk at dawn and behaved like that?


    Perhaps because of me, Yoon-woo, who is taking a class with fatigue, continues to resent me inside¡­


    ¡®Isn¡¯t it all just empty words? He might have sent me messages with mixed up empty words because he might sound rude, but still, about half¡­ ¡­ . No, you¡¯re only half sincere, aren¡¯t you? But if not¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    It was herself who saw a movie with Yoon-woo and drank alcohol. And, she can get a rough idea of ??what his personality was.


    So, if she had been able to think soberly, she could have guessed that Yoon-woo would not hate her and stay cold for this kind of thing.


    But, she was so desperate for Yoon-woo¡¯s kind reply now.


    As a result, she couldn¡¯t get away from the thought that maybe Yoon-woo would ignore her kakaotalk, or might get a really cold reply.


    As she walked out of Yoon-woo¡¯s house with such thoughts in mind, she even forgot that she had to leave the clothes at the laundry.


    Even after returning home and rushing to take a shower, Ji-eun continued to hold onto her phone and wait for Yoon-woo¡¯s answer.


    However, even at 11:45 after the class was over, there was no indication that Yoon-woo had checked her message, and also even at 1 o¡¯clock, when Hye-rim and Yoon-woo had finished eating and tidying up.


    Only from Hye-rim, ¡®Are you feeling unwell? Would you like me to boil some porridge and bring it to you?¡¯ All I got was that message.


    I replied that I was fine, and that I might be able to eat dinner at her house.


    Yoon-woo is not deliberately ignoring my message.


    Come to think of it, Yoon-woo never took out his cell phone when he was with me or Hye-rim.


    Maybe Yoon-woo thinks it¡¯s impolite to do so?


    When he meets someone, does he focus only on that person?


    Then¡­ ¡­ Is Yoon-woo completely focused on Hye-rim now?


    Did you throw what happened to me yesterday in the corner of your mind and listen to Hye-rim and only think about Hye-rim at Hye-rim¡¯s house right now?


    Could it be that the two of you are talking about how I visited Yoon-woo after drinking yesterday? No way¡­ ¡­ .


    -I forgot to tell you earlier, but yesterday about me drinking¡­ Can you keep it a secret from Hye-rim?


    I sent an additional message like that, but as expected, Yoon-woo still didn¡¯t reply.


    On Mondays and Wednesdays, Yoon-woo and Hye-rim attend the 2nd and 5th periods together, and they stay together from 12:00 to 2:00, which is the 3rd and 4th period.


    In other words, Yoon-woo is not in class for at least 2 hours, or he is concentrating on Hye-rim.


    She couldn¡¯t have been more happy in the world when she took the earrings out of the gift box two hours ago.


    However, the thought of Yoon-woo, who gave her the earring as a gift, was pushed to the background, and her happy feelings were buried in the ground right now.


    Ji-eun has been thinking only of Yoon-woo since 2 hours ago about how Yoon-woo only hears Hye-rim¡¯s voice, looks at Hye-rim¡¯s face, and only thinks about Hye-rim!


    Too many thoughts went in and out of Ji-eun¡¯s mind.


    How ridiculous would that be?


    It¡¯s not like he left the earrings with his own mind, but because I was begging him to give me a present.


    It¡¯s not like I owed Yoon-woo a debt like Hye-rim did¡­


    When I was thinking about the earrings in my ears, I laughed out of joy, and the words from Yoon-woo and Yoon-woo, who gave them as a gift, were lovely.


    However, when I think of the time Yoon-woo spends with Hye-rim, and the possibility that Yoon-woo might think badly of me from my image yesterday, tears seem to burst at any moment.


    Ji-eun¡¯s emotional vortex of jumping up and down repeatedly continued until 3:15, when the 5th period ended, until Yoon-woo sent a kakao talk.


    ¨C No, noona. I really wanted to give the earrings to you, so I bought it. It was so sad that a person as pretty as noona thought like that.


    -I¡¯m trying to take responsibility for what I said, so don¡¯t worry about it and just accept it. You don¡¯t even need to buy me food.


    ¨C I didn¡¯t say anything to Hye-rim. And I also got drunk and lost my mind last time, so I owe a lot to you. I¡¯m glad I got the chance to pay it back. Do not worry about it.


    ¨C You don¡¯t have to do laundry¡­ ¡­ . Socks can be washed together when I wash my clothes, and coats can be sprayed with Febreeze a few times¡­ ¡­ .


    Ji-eun was finally able to let go of Yoon-woo¡¯s concentration on Hye-rim.


    Well, if it was Yoon-woo that she knew, he would think like that.


    He thinks he has committed some terrible mistake by sleeping at her house on the day he ate lamb skewers¡­


    Ji-eun continued to read her first message a few times with the words ¡®a person as pretty as noona¡¯, and even screenshot all the messages Yoon-woo sent and saved it.


    She then replied; she thanked Yoon-woo very much, but that she still wants to buy rice for him.


    Ji-eun thought as she went to the classroom for the six-period class with a light heart.


    ¡®Isn¡¯t the outfit I¡¯m wearing today strange? Does it suit the earrings completely? Will you tell me that they look good on me in the evening?¡¯


    Ji-eun thought too much today.


    She also struggled with rapidly changing emotions from time to time.


    Thinking and moving emotions consume a lot of energy.


    The classes she took today were also difficult major classes.


    Besides, she was exhausted from a hangover.


    That was the problem.


    Ji-eun, relieved to receive Yoon-woo¡¯s reply, was thinking about what Yoon-woo would say to her when he saw her.


    She had no idea that she had something else to worry about.


    She completely forgot about the fact that the earrings she is wearing now are the earrings that Yoon-woo told Hye-rim that would not suit her.


    In her head, only the kind and warm words Yoon-woo had said to her were revolving.


    She couldn¡¯t even think of the fact that she, who normally didn¡¯t wear earrings, suddenly decided to wear the earrings, and even if she passed simple answers to whoever asked about it, it would be difficult to pass it onto Hye-rim, saying that she simply received a gift.


    Every Monday and Wednesday, class for Ji-eun ends at 4:45, and Hye-rim and Yoon-woo finish class at 3:15.


    Yoon-woo goes to the house or the library to study or exercise, and then comes to Hye-rim¡¯s house at 6 o¡¯clock.


    Ji-eun really paid no mind to all that.


    Only her thoughts and excitement about her Yoon-woo dominated in her mind.


    So, as usual today, as soon as class was over, she headed to Hye-rim¡¯s house.


    With earrings on¡­


    ¡°Hello Hye-rim!¡±


    ¡°Hello Noona. Are you okay?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯m fine. I went home yesterday and ate some food¡­¡±


    ¡°But, noona¡­Your ears¡­ Why did you suddenly wear earrings?¡±


    ¡°After all, Hye-rim recognizes right away! Uh¡­ but¡­ how?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ It suits you.¡±


    ================================


    If you like our novel, please don¡¯t forget to write a review on NU.

 Chapter 41

    Paranoid Love Affair


    Episode 41


    ================================


    There was a reason why people always wanted to invite Ji-eun to a drinking party.


    At the drinking party with Ji-eun, there were no quarrels or sensitive conversations; the most that happened was that there were people who drank too much and fell asleep.


    There were few people who clearly recognized that it was Ji-eun¡¯s charm, and there were still many people who felt comfortable drinking with Ji-eun.


    However, Ji-eun was not the one to lead the story at the drinking party.


    She didn¡¯t even play the role of raising the mood by unraveling a lot of interesting stories.


    Nevertheless, the reason why people like drinking with Ji-eun is because Ji-eun is a very intelligent person.


    Ji-eun naturally changed the topic if it seemed that there would be any sensitive talk, and if someone felt offended, she joked about it and tried to lighten the mood.


    As a result, drinking parties with Ji-eun were always pleasant and only pleasant stories were shared.


    When someone had something to celebrate, the topic lasted for a long time, and the talk of politics, society, and religion only appeared briefly before being buried due to Ji-eun¡¯s skill.


    When it comes to arguing at a drinking party with Ji-eun, at best, there are only useless stories about whether mint chocolate is delicious or not, and eating sweet pork with soup and eating it with dipping sauce.


    For reference, Ji-eun likes mint chocolate and the pork is eaten by soup if the person you eat with you likes bibimbap, and if you like dipping sauce, eat it with dipping.


    [Bibimbap: Bibimbap is served as a bowl of warm white rice topped with namul (saut¨¦ed and seasoned vegetables) or kimchi (traditional fermented vegetables) and gochujang (chili pepper paste), soy sauce, or doenjang (a fermented soybean paste). A raw or fried egg and sliced meat (usually beef) are common additions. ]


    Maybe the reason Ji-eun doesn¡¯t get drunk often is because she doesn¡¯t relax even at a drinking party with close friends.


    There are many reasons why people fight at a drinking party, but the root cause is that they unintentionally or intentionally poach an important part of someone else¡¯s self-image and identity.


    For example, if someone has been attending church for more than 20 years, he or she will likely see the story of religion as a key component of their thoughts and lives.


    So he or she is more sensitive to any talk about it than others.


    Whether that¡¯s a good story or a bad story¡­


    People usually live their lives respecting each other whenever possible, but it changes when alcohol is added.


    And there will be people who have conflicting core parts of their self-image and want to talk about it.


    For example, if you have a completely different political view¡­ ¡­ .


    Then, why meet people like colleagues and drink together?


    No! You just have to talk about something else when you meet.


    Instead of trying to delve deep into each other, we just need to talk about something that makes us laugh together.


    At the drinking party, Ji-eun showed an excellent ability to read the moods of such people and change the topic naturally.


    In fact, it was also because that was Ji-eun¡¯s self-image.


    She thought that making the people she meets happy and comfortable is her most core value.


    She was a person who thought that if she turned around and shouted in anger at a drinking party even once, the people who were looking for her would disappear in an instant.


    Of course, Ji-eun did not voice such thoughts into sentences and engrave them only in her heart.


    However, Ji-eun was also vaguely feeling that such a self-image dominates the backbone of her emotions and actions, so far that has been the case.


    But not today. She was Ji-eun, who was not very drunk even when she drank alcohol, but today she was drunk with Yoon-woo¡¯s words.


    She was drunk on the matter of pretty earrings.


    The key component that makes up herself today is not herself who watches others well and sets the mood, but Yoo Ji-eun, a sophomore in economics department who Yoon-woo thinks is pretty and witty, and looks good with earrings.


    Perhaps it was because the parts constituting her backbone changed abruptly.


    In fact, even if she wasn¡¯t a person who pays attention to her eyes, she would have noticed that Hye-rim¡¯s look was strange.


    Because she saw Hye-rim¡¯s face hardened noticeably, and her voice was also quiet for a few seconds.


    ¡°It suits noona really well,¡± she said. ¡°After all, noona is Ji-eun. You should have been doing things like this before¡­¡±


    ¡°Is that so? Uhh.. thank you. From what I can see, this looks pretty good.¡±


    ¡°Yeah. So¡­ What happened all of a sudden?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Doesn¡¯t Noona hate being bothered the most? Don¡¯t earrings bother you?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Only then did Ji-eun realize her own mistake.


    She realized that she had not come prepared to answer this question.


    ¡°I know those earrings. It was selling it at the ¡®UST¡¯ store I went to yesterday. Was there a cartoon about a girl collecting lost cards when we were young? It¡¯s a collaboration with that anime girl.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I see¡­ ¡­ Then this purple flower is probably a cherry blossom?¡±


    ¡°Hmm. But Yoon-woo said that they wouldn¡¯t suit me.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ he said like that¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s like that. And, when I turned around, Yoon-woo said that these would look better on me, the one without decorations, than that.¡±


    ¡°What¡­ ¡­ That¡¯s right. What you¡¯re wearing right now suits you really well and it¡¯s pretty.¡±


    ¡°Thanks. And, that earring suits you much better than me¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Well, it wouldn¡¯t¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°So, how did you end up wearing it?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡®I¡¯m ruined. What should I do? Why didn¡¯t I prepare for this situation?¡¯


    ¡®I just don¡¯t feel good for dinner, so¡­ ¡­ .¡¯ If I run away with an excuse like that, I must think of an excuse by the end of the night.


    To say that I just liked it and bought it by passing it, it would not be possible to explain like that with an attitude I have shown, where I have only focused on convenience to Hye-rim and others.


    You suddenly want to buy some earrings, so you happened to stop by the store Yoon-woo and Hye-rim went to yesterday, and accidentally bought the earrings Yoon-woo was looking at.


    There is no such coincidence in the world.


    Hye-rim won¡¯t believe it.


    So, in this situation, how on earth do I give Hye-rim a convincing explanation?


    I can¡¯t tell the whole truth.


    To tell all the truth, I will have to tell her about the inferiority that I usually had when staying with her, how I was hurt and made a riot by myself at Yoon-woo¡¯s passing words, and even about lying on Yoon-woo¡¯s bed when I opened my eyes.


    But I couldn¡¯t lie either.


    Since I had Yoon-woo sleeping in my house last time, Hye-rim is sensitive to my lies.


    There was also the problem that I arrived at Hye-rim¡¯s house an hour earlier than Yoon-woo.


    If she tells a lie right now, she wouldn¡¯t have time to talk to Yoon-woo later.


    In the midst of such thoughts, Hye-rim stared at Ji-eun¡¯s face and waited for her words.


    If it wasn¡¯t because of the mood for dinner, she seemed to be looking into Ji-eun¡¯s ears.


    First of all, Ji-eun thought that she should buy time with words that are neither truth nor lies.


    ¡°That¡­ As for why I suddenly put on earrings¡­ ¡­ Oh, I still have my ears pierced when I was in high school. I used to wear earrings for a while, but I didn¡¯t do it because it was annoying¡­I just got this as a gift from someone¡­¡±


    ¡°From Yoon-woo?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡± It was a gift from Yoon-woo, right?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Huh?¡±


    ¡®Oh, how do you know that¡­ ¡­ . Seriously, was it too obvious?¡¯


    Ji-eun couldn¡¯t make eye contact with Hye-rim, so she looked at the ground and answered in a crawling voice.


    I remembered Hye-rim, who was interrogating me, when I was lying in my bed with Yoon-woo.


    When Hye-rim gets angry, it¡¯s really scary¡­


    Should I deal with it alone?


    My heart trembled at such worry. However, Hye-rim¡¯s reaction to her was unexpected.


    ¡°I see. That¡¯s good.¡±


    ¡°Uh? Is it the end?¡±


    ¡°Then, what more can I do?¡±


    ¡°That¡­Still, something like ¡°why Yoon-woo suddenly gave you such a gift¡±¡­ I thought you¡¯d ask something like that¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Yoon-woo wanted to give it to you, so it must have been a present.¡±


    ¡°Uh? Well¡­¡±


    ¡°No?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not that¡­ It¡¯s just a little bit vague to say that¡¯s right¡­Actually, that happened¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s already done. I¡¯m okay. You don¡¯t have to explain it.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­Still, something¡­¡±


    ¡°Anyway, he gave noona such a gift because he thought it would suit you well, right? I watched for a while since Yoon-woo watched it for a few minutes too.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Hmm. It really suits noona. I wish you would keep wearing it in the future. I¡¯m sure other people will say you¡¯re pretty.¡±


    ¡°Is that so?¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡±


    ¡°Excuse me¡­Hey, I¡¯m going to buy some clothes, and it isn¡¯t like I can wear jumpers every day¡­.¡±


    ¡°Are you thinking about that now? That is great! Then, would you like to go look for clothes together on the weekend?¡±


    ¡°My clothes are difficult to find in size, so shopping will take a long time¡­¡±


    ¡°Hey, what¡¯s the matter with taking so long? I¡¯ve always wanted to go shopping with noona.¡±


    ¡°Then¡­ Shall we? Uh¡­¡±


    Contrary to Ji-eun¡¯s worries, Hye-rim was very calm even when she knew that Yoon-woo had given her earrings.


    Even when Yoon-woo came to Hye-rim¡¯s house at 6 o¡¯clock, she said, ¡®Yoon-woo, you said this was a gift? Doesn¡¯t it go really well with noona¡¯s appearance?¡¯ she asked, but she hasn¡¯t talked about the earrings anymore since then.


    She was the same as her usual appearance until she ate and parted with Ji-eun and Yoon-woo.


    In fact, Hye-rim was thinking she wanted Yoon-woo and Jieun to get out of her room as soon as possible.


    She didn¡¯t want to see their faces.


    In this space, she seemed to be the only one, alone.


    Ji-eun smiles at Yoon-woo, and Yoon-woo¡¯s soft expression praising Ji-eun¡­


    Even though this was her own room, it felt like a space where she shouldn¡¯t be.


    After Ji-eun and Yoon-woo left the house, Hye-rim immediately collapsed on the bed.


    She then thought that for a while before starting helplessly at the ceiling.


    ¡®Even though he doesn¡¯t have any debt to Ji-eun, he just wants to give a present¡­¡¯


    ¡®This wasn¡¯t the earrings that Yoon-woo liked, and it wasn¡¯t me that Yoon-woo wanted to give a present to¡­¡¯


    Hye-rim felt like she was like a debtor to Yoon-woo.


    It was Ji-eun who Yoon-woo¡¯s true favor was directed to, and she was a usurer who intervened and forced him to offer his favor.


    It was she who used her debt as an excuse to interfere with the love of others.


    ¡®Maybe, eating rice¡­Are you forcing yourself to eat with me? Come to think of it, Yoon-woo was a little unclear back then¡­¡¯


    ¡®Should I just quit? Like this¡­¡¯


    ¡®Isn¡¯t it difficult? Now I¡¯m tired of this diet¡­Then, does Yoon-woo want to eat with Ji-eun every day? Actually, maybe he doesn¡¯t want to meet me¡­¡¯


    ¡®If it was me, not Ji-eun, who asked to eat lamb skewers¡­ Could something like that happen to me?¡¯


    ¡®Let¡¯s not think about anything like that, wouldn¡¯t he have refused from the beginning?¡¯


    ¡®If you think about it, it was a failure from the beginning. It seems that Yoon-woo didn¡¯t like the snack I chose, but I was still reckless¡­¡¯


    ¡®What the hell have I been doing?¡¯


    Perhaps, Yoon-woo wants to eat with Ji-eun alone.


    Maybe Ji-eun and Yoon-woo want to be alone.


    Could it be that she is hovering around the two of them and interfering with them without notice?


    I thought so.


    However, her relationship with Yoon-woo and her relationship with Ji-eun were also quite sorrowful in this situation that she couldn¡¯t hold back tears just by imagining it.


    In Hye-rim¡¯s life, there were only two people who were valuable.


    However, whether Hye-rim herself is valuable to the two is another matter.


    Without them, Hye-rim¡¯s life might be thrown into a cage crowded with animals again.


    A life where you have to deal with all kinds of beasts that try to scratch and bite her all alone.


    Such a sad life when you can¡¯t find a single person to comfort this tired, lonely and sorrowful heart¡­


    Hye-rim habitually took out her cell phone.


    She wanted to have a conversation, calling anyone.


    But today there was no one to call.


    So Hye-rim connected her cell phone to the charger, put it down on her floor, fell on her bed, and buried her face in the pillow.


    ================================

 Chapter 42

    Paranoid Love Affair


    Episode 42


    ================================


    ¡°Yoon-woo, thank you so much for the earrings! I will wear it every day from now on!¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to¡­¡±


    ¡°Why? Do you think it¡¯s bad to see it again?¡±


    ¡°I really think it suits you very well. However¡­ just don¡¯t feel pressured to do that. Just wear it when you want to¡­ ¡±


    ¡°No! I want to wear it every day!¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­Then, I¡¯m happy.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Yoon-woo! I will definitely repay you.¡±


    ¡°Nope. It¡¯s okay.You don¡¯t have to¡­¡±


    ¡°It is not okay! I¡¯ll definitely do it¡­ Be careful and go safely to your house.¡±


    ¡°Huh. Noona you too.¡±


    While Hye-rim was burying her face in her pillow, Ji-eun was sharing her greetings with Yoon-woo at the crossroads.


    And the smile did not disappear from Ji-eun¡¯s face as she walked to her house for a long time.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s praises were still ringing in her ears.


    After arriving home, washing up, and lying in bed, Ji-eun¡¯s excitement subsided.


    And when I reflected on what happened today, it was only then that Hye-rim¡¯s detached attitude came to my mind.


    Thinking about it, it was very strange.


    She said that the man she had loved for 10 years gave another woman a gift, and even though that woman is Ji-eun, who is her best friend, how can she stay with such an innocent face?


    Is she someone who can do that? Wouldn¡¯t it be more possible for Confucius to come alive from the dead?


    When she saw that Yoon-woo gave the earrings to Hye-rim as a gift, she became jealous and she was very upset¡­


    So Hye-rim must be upset with her too¡­


    Nevertheless, Hye-rim did not express such feelings toward me or Yun-woo.


    She had a completely different attitude from the way she was angry at the day I ate lamb skewers with Yoon-woo.


    But it wasn¡¯t Hye-rim¡¯s fault.


    If you think about it, it was more like Hye-rim.


    In fact, it wasn¡¯t because of jealousy that Hye-rim was angry last time with lamb skewers.


    Of course, there must have been such feelings, but I thought that Hye-rim wasn¡¯t the kind of person who got angry without good reason.


    That day, the reason Hye-rim got angry with Ji-eun on the phone was because she lied that Yoon-woo went home well, even though she brought Yoon-woo to her house.


    And the next morning, Ji-eun and Yoon-woo were in bed, so even the excuse Ji-eun made on the phone the day before felt like a lie.


    And the arm pillow¡­


    Presumably from Hye-rim¡¯s words and actions, maybe she thought that Yoon-woo was unreasonably discriminating against only herself?


    Hye-rim has been like that before.


    She was only furious when she saw things that seemed inconceivable and absurd, and she didn¡¯t particularly dislike situations that others saw as angry and annoyed.


    For example, at a festival, when she decided how to decorate her booth, how to promote the club, how to spend the money, and when her manager arbitrarily decided, I heard Hye-rim angrily arguing.


    In fact, the manager was usually self-righteous and did not listen to others, so there were many club members who were secretly dissatisfied and waiting for the manager to graduate.


    However, this point was pointed out by Hye-rim, who is a freshman and has just joined the club.


    But the manager was a narrow-minded man.


    It seems that the members of the club trust and like Hye-rim more than him, so the manager, who was sullen, continued to push odd jobs to her.


    For example, telling Hye-rim to move the refrigerator necessary for the booth operation from the club room to the booth by herself¡­


    It was a small refrigerator, and although there was an elevator, there was still a considerable distance to carry.


    Even though Hye-rim didn¡¯t have to do it alone, the manager said, ¡®Isn¡¯t Hye-rim the strongest here? We¡¯re all not free¡­¡¯ He dared to hand over his work to Hye-rim.


    Even though it was unfair and upsetting enough to look at her from the sidelines, she said that she would have to move anyway and she could do it herself, and after that, she worked silently.


    Hye-rim¡¯s criteria for determining what¡¯s unfair and what isn¡¯t is based on her views on the subjects, so sometimes I don¡¯t understand it well, but every criteria she set while I continued to watch next to her was consistent.


    Considering Hye-rim¡¯s personality, isn¡¯t Hye-rim following her own standards again this time?


    The reason Hye-rim got angry last time was because of my lies and Yoon-woo¡¯s unfair discrimination, but this time I didn¡¯t lie and Yoon-woo didn¡¯t unfairly discriminate her either.


    In Hye-rim¡¯s opinion, even if she didn¡¯t like me, there was no reason for her to be angry with anyone.


    So maybe she was keeping her emotions in check?


    She¡¯s scary when she¡¯s angry, but Hye-rim often says that things don¡¯t always go her way, and that¡¯s why she¡¯s not a person who gets angry with anyone¡­


    Looking back, it seems that Hye-rim spoke less than usual this evening.


    She seemed to have a worse expression than usual.


    Yesterday, Hye-rim even called to explain to Ji-eun that the gift she received was not from Yoon-woo¡¯s pure favor, but Ji-eun was just excited and didn¡¯t even think about Hye-rim¡¯s heart today.


    I felt guilty.


    What is Hye-rim doing now?


    I came home yesterday and took out the bacardi by myself and drank it, wouldn¡¯t Hye-rim feel the same way?


    I even made the riot yesterday, so why didn¡¯t I think about Hye-rim¡¯s position today at all?


    Looking back on my own actions, I was overly excited.


    My excitement was blinding me.


    In fact, Yoon-woo¡¯s praise was the very light that caused this.


    Even if it¡¯s not empty words, how much kindness is there for me?


    Yoon-woo said that all he wants is someone who wants to accept him.


    So, he is saying that he is not as good as to receive acceptance.


    But I was the only one who heard this from drunk Yoon-woo.


    Hye-rim doesn¡¯t know Yoon-woo well. Then, the perception of Yoon-woo¡¯s behavior now may be completely different from that of me.


    Thinking like that, looking back, Hye-rim¡¯s voice, who said that the earrings I received were the earrings Yoon-woo had been staring at for a long time, somehow seemed to be full of interest.


    What would happen if I kept my mouth shut here?


    The relationship between Hye-rim and Yoon-woo may become distant.


    Hye-rim said that if Yoon-woo liked me, she would have no choice but to accept it.


    Because Yoon-woo is so used to being alone, I may be the only person he meets.


    If that happens, Hye-rim and Yoon-woo will be hurt, and only my greed will be satisfied.


    Then, I have to live by myself, like garbage, who fills the greed at the cost of other hearts.


    Do I deserve to be loved by others?


    When she was in high school, she learned Seodong poems from textbooks, and she thought about him.


    Seodong is such a trash bastard.


    Is it his love to share his testament about his crush and take it away when she is in misfortune?


    It¡¯s just his possessiveness.


    He treated his lover as an object.


    In order to satisfy his greed, he waged a looting war.


    [ T/N: It¡¯s from ¡°The ballad of Seodong¡±. It¡¯s a movie and a tale. In this tale, seodong was a commoner while the one he has a crush on is a princess. He knew that he couldn¡¯t obtain her. So, he sang songs describing his love with her name and the princess get demoted to commoner when the king heard that song by misunderstanding. ]


    He is no different from the head of any country that has scoured other countries for oil.


    If I also do that, my love will also turn into an oil war where Yoon-woo would be the oil.


    I¡¯m destroying myself, my heart, and the value of the person I like!


    Thinking like that, Ji-eun¡¯s heart sped up.


    She looked for her cell phone right away as she thought she should call Hye-rim.


    As for Hye-rim, Ji-eun called her, and she didn¡¯t answer the phone until after a while.


    [¡­ Uh, Ji-eun, why? What did you leave behind?]


    Hye-rim¡¯s voice croaked.


    She was also right with her prediction. But she pretended not to know.


    ¡°No, you know, Hye-rim¡­ ¡­ . I should have told you right earlier¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Huh? ¡­ ¡­ What?]


    ¡°I have earrings. It¡¯s true that Yoon-woo gave it¡­ ¡­ . It¡¯s not like Yoon-woo just wanted to give it to me.¡±


    [¡­ ¡­ Then?]


    ¡°Hey¡­ ¡­ . The truth is, I was reluctant to talk about it because it would even make me feel ashamed if I explained this. However¡­ ¡­ Still, I don¡¯t think it¡¯s reasonable to just skip it. Yoon-woo is really¡­ ¡­ He has no interest in me.¡±


    [Uh¡­ ¡­ No way¡­ ¡­ If he¡¯s not interested, why is he giving you a present?]


    ¡°Eww¡­ ¡­ . The truth is¡­ ¡­ . Yesterday I¡­ ¡­ I¡¯m so envious that Yoon-woo bought you earrings¡­ ¡­ . I drank a little too much¡­ ¡­ So much so that I lost my mind¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Uh? Did you say this was embarrassing? Didn¡¯t I say that I forcibly took it by stabbing him in the corner as a debt?]


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­ . I didn¡¯t want to say this, so I hid it¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [What the hell? What do you have to envy? It¡¯s not that Yoon-woo liked me, and he didn¡¯t give me a present because of that¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°No, I was envious of you thinking that earrings suit you.¡±


    [Huh? What are you talking about?]


    ¡°For me¡­ ¡­ . Earrings like that wouldn¡¯t suit me.¡±


    [No, noona you¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°I¡¯m really embarrassed¡­ ¡­ . So I asked Yoon-woo on the way out. How would an earring like that look on me? ¡­ .¡±


    [So what? Didn¡¯t he say that those earrings just didn¡¯t suit your personality¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°He didn¡¯t say that¡­ ¡­ . That¡¯s what I heard.¡±


    [What did he say?]


    ¡°He said he thought something other than that would suit me¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Ah, I think I know about what noona is saying now.]


    ¡°Yeah, looking at it now, it seems like that, because I didn¡¯t listen to it anymore and cut it off¡­ ¡­ Because I don¡¯t want to talk. But when I came home in the evening and thought about it, I was so sad¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Uh¡­ ¡­ . Is that that much?]


    ¡°That¡­ ¡­ . The truth is, I¡¯ve always been envious of you. You¡¯re tall and have a nice body¡­¡±


    [You are pretty and cute too!]


    ¡°But, I¡¯m not told that I¡¯m mature and sophisticated like you¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [No, everyone has different strengths! Noona is fine as you are now, and when you start decorating, I¡¯m sure¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°Ugh, I heard that from Yoon-woo too, so listen to me first¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Uh? From Yoon-woo? What happened¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°I was lying at home¡­ ¡­ . I was so depressed, I couldn¡¯t stand it, so I took out the bacardi I had and drank it, but I immediately lost my mind¡­ ¡­ . I drank alcohol endlessly in that state¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [What is Bacardi? You¡¯re okay even if you drink 40-degree vodka, right?]


    ¡°That¡­ ¡­ It is a little strong liquor.¡±


    [How strong is it? How is the frequency?]


    ¡°It¡¯s a little over 70 degrees¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [No, crazy! Is that a little strong? Why are you at home by yourself drinking something like that?]


    ¡°It¡¯s not just drinking. I also mix it up. I also drank it with Coke at first.¡±


    [Not later?]


    ¡°Huh¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Don¡¯t drink the leftovers. Post it on the online bulletin board of the Gogopas market.]


    [T/N: You can sell it ]


    ¡°That¡­ ¡­ . I almost drank it all¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Ah¡­ ¡­ . noona¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°Anyway, I got drunk and told the truth to Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­ . So, he bought it in the morning and¡±


    [¡­ What did you do?]


    ¡°That¡­ ¡­ . Can¡¯t you say that? I¡¯m so ashamed that I think I¡¯m going to die. Anyway, I want to receive earrings as a gift¡­ ¡­ . and messed up a bit. So, I¡¯m so ¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Ah¡­ ¡­ Then, so¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°Okay, that¡¯s why he bought it. This¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [ ¡­ If you¡¯ve been thinking about it like that, tell me first¡­ ¡­ . Whether it¡¯s earrings or clothes, I can choose everything¡­ ¡­ . Well, though I wouldn¡¯t have been able to get it from Yoon-woo.]


    ¡°I would have done that too if I could. Then I wouldn¡¯t have made such a fuss¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Even though noona drinks, you don¡¯t talk like that very well¡­ ¡­ . I had no idea. Sorry. I shouldn¡¯t have forced noona to attend classes today.]


    ¡°No, no. It¡¯s okay¡­ This earring is enough. Yoon-woo¡¯s look is a bit embarrassing, but¡­¡±


    [Still, Yoon-woo won¡¯t take it to heart. He¡¯s not that kind of kid.]


    ¡°It¡¯s true, but every time we meet, my heart continues to feel uncomfortable¡­ ¡­ ¡±


    [Then buy Yoon-woo rice again. Don¡¯t drink alcohol this time.]


    ¡°I will. Now you know, it wasn¡¯t something serious that happened between me and Yoon-woo.¡±


    [Did you call to explain that?]


    ¡°You did too.¡±


    [¡­ Thanks, Noona.]


    ¡°Uh¡­ ¡­ . I felt guilty for not telling you, but I will die of shame if I did. I¡¯m one year older than you guys, what the hell¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Don¡¯t stress too much. Let¡¯s go buy some clothes on the weekend to relieve stress. I¡¯ll pick a cute one.]


    ¡°That¡­ ¡­ I¡¯m more than cute¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Ah¡­ ¡­ . right. Let¡¯s just see everything as it is then. See you early in the morning¡­ ¡­ . Uh? But wait?]


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    [Did you drink last night?]


    ¡°Yes, it is.¡±


    [And you didn¡¯t feel well today, so you couldn¡¯t eat lunch with us?]


    ¡°Ah, it¡¯s actually because of the hangover¡­ Sorry for lying.¡±


    [Lies aren¡¯t the problem¡­ Noona said you listened to 5th and 6th classes and you came over to my house for dinner right away, and you were already wearing earrings at the time, didn¡¯t you?]


    ¡°Right? What are you going to ask¡­ ¡­ Ah.¡±


    Also, Hyerim is quick-witted. As Ji-eun spoke, she realized what Hye-rim was about to ask.


    [Yoon-woo was with me from the 2nd period to the 5th period¡­ When the hell did he buy the earrings for you, Noona?]


    ¡°That¡­ ¡­ In the morning¡­ ¡­ He would have bought¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Would he have bought it? Does noona even know when he bought it?]


    ¡°No, I was sleeping then¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [That means¡­noona¡­Did you take Yoon-woo to your house again?]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ No.¡±


    [Uh? Then¡­ No way¡­ ]


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Hye-rim. I didn¡¯t even know, really¡­¡±


    [Noona¡­ Did you sleep at Yoon-woo¡¯s house?


    ================================

 Chapter 43

    Paranoid Love Affair


    Episode 43


    ================================


    If Yoon-woo had come to like Ji-eun, Hye-rim had no intention of using force on him to like her.


    She knew herself that she did some pretty reckless things on her own, but she still can distinguish between what she should do and what she shouldn¡¯t.


    In the movie ¡®Bruce Almighty¡¯, Bruce was able to exercise all kinds of powers on behalf of God, but could he win the hearts of others?


    The sea can be divided, but he can¡¯t make the girl he likes fall in love with him¡­ ¡­ .


    I thought it was funny when I saw the movie, but in reality, it really seems to be that difficult.


    Then, even if I get angry and shout at Yoon-woo or Ji-eun, nothing will change.


    So, I was only angry with myself.


    If I hadn¡¯t received the phone call from Ji-eun, I would have time to self-criticize about what I did wrong from when and what I did like the incident from the past 10 years.


    Before I met Yoon-woo again, starting from my fourth grade, I hung a mold in my heart and criticized myself for days. And, as I always did, I was scolding myself today.


    So, I felt grateful and relieved that Ji-eun called me to clarify.


    Ji-eun is good at making friends with people.


    Her wiring is different from other people.


    She doesn¡¯t do anything to hurt me just to satisfy her greed.


    ¡®Look. Yoon-woo likes me, so why do you fall for him? Are you so blind?¡¯


    Even if she were someone else, she might have tried to exclude me in that way.


    (To not get her hurt from loving the wrong man.)


    However, while I was grateful to Ji-eun, I couldn¡¯t help but feel bad for her.


    ¡°Noona¡­ ¡­ . Then, you drank again and slept in the same bed with Yoon-woo?! And, you were stuck like last time? What really happened this time¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [No! Not really! I said I wouldn¡¯t commit such a foul!]


    ¡°But if you said you were so drunk, can you be sure that you didn¡¯t do that? Noona even doesn¡¯t remember, so maybe¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [I can¡¯t remember well, but¡­ ¡­ . You can be sure! Hye-rim, didn¡¯t you see Yoon-woo¡¯s room too? How narrow is it. And the same goes for the bed!]


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [How are we going to lie down there? It was a bit frustrating even lying on my own, but Yoon-woo and I lied down together? Isn¡¯t it surprising that an elongated kid like Yoon-woo is sleeping in that bed every day?]


    ¡°Well¡­ ¡­ . is it? However, depending on your drunken mind¡­  . Even if you can¡¯t sleep together, you can do anything¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Hyerim-ah!]


    ¡°Eww¡­ ¡­ I¡¯m sorry¡­ ¡­ But it could have been, right? Does noona even know?¡±


    [If that was the case, there would have been traces¡­  No, do I even have to talk about this?


    can¡¯t you trust me like that? I mean, I have a dream too! In such a restless state, in such a worn-out bed¡­ ¡­why do I¡­.]


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­ . That¡¯s right¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    [I swear I knew it didn¡¯t happen.. ¡­ .]


    ¡°Then, where did Yoon-woo sleep?¡±


    [That¡­ ¡­ . Maybe he fell asleep on his desk¡­ ¡­ ?]


    ¡°Somehow, he slept very deeply in the 5th class today¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Today, Yoon-woo did not wake up even after the 5th class was over, so I shook Yoon-woo to wake him up.


    With that in mind, I was able to fully understand the story of Ji-eun.


    In the end, Yoon-woo and Ji-eun were lying on the bed for hours because Ji-eun forced him to lie on the bed, and Yoon-woo lying on his desk trying to sleep and couldn¡¯t sleep; the memories are only in Yoon-woo¡¯s head.


    [When I woke up, Yoon-woo was gone and I was alone in Yoon-woo¡¯s bed¡­ ¡­ . Earrings were placed on the desk¡­So this is not a romantic gift. I got it from begging like a child¡­Wouldn¡¯t Yoon-woo harbour disgust for me instead of liking me?]


    ¡°No, he won¡¯t¡­ ¡­ . You can drink and make mistakes¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Isn¡¯t it too big of a mistake to pass off just like that?]


    ¡°But if it¡¯s Yoon-woo, would he keep it in his mind?¡±


    [Really? Wouldn¡¯t it be a bit annoying? Yoon-woo¡¯s room is on the third floor and I can¡¯t remember walking with my own feet¡­ ¡­ . Since there was no elevator¡­Then, maybe Yoon-woo¡­.]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Since noona is light, wouldn¡¯t it be okay for him?¡±


    [And¡­I got drunk and came out wearing shorts and whining that it was cold¡­Yoon-woo even covered my cold body here and there. But there¡¯s a lot of alcohol smell in there¡­ Even socks¡­]


    ¡°Umm¡­ ¡­ . Unnie, you did a lot of stuff last night¡­¡±


    [I don¡¯t know, I lost my memory ¡­I don¡¯t know what else I did. What if I completely lost my mind at that time? Ahhh¡­I was excited today¡­But, slowly thinking about it, I want to die¡­¡­]


    Obviously, at the beginning of the call, Ji-eun seemed to comfort Hye-rim, but now it is the opposite.


    Hye-rim didn¡¯t want to question Ji-eun like that anymore.


    ¡°But in the end, Yoon-woo gave unnie earrings, right? He wouldn¡¯t have done it if he had been really upset with you .¡±


    [No. If it¡¯s Yoon-woo, even if he doesn¡¯t like that, he can do that for me¡­ As you know, that kid¡­He listens to everything I say straight away, you know? The last time I asked him to pick me up on the street as a joke but he was really trying to pick me up¡­The kid doesn¡¯t know how to refuse. He¡¯s a kid who does everything someone asks, so this time too¡­]


    ¡°Huh? It¡¯s not like that, is it? Yoon-woo doesn¡¯t know rejection? On the contrary, he has never listened to what I was saying at once.¡±


    [Eh? In what way?]


    ¡°What is it? Don¡¯t you remember anything that I said before? That is even if I asked him to eat together or to go to the library together, he refuses at least once. At first, when I talked about going to the gym together, he was a little shaky¡­The fact that we can eat together like now¡­If you think about it, it¡¯s all completely my own compulsion¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Ah, that¡­excuse me¡­]


    ¡°I kept feeling¡­ ¡­ . Yoon-woo seems to feel much more comfortable with unnie. You and Yoon-woo eat cream puffs together, go to coin karaoke together, and even talk comfortably, right? But, when he¡¯s with me, his face hardens every time¡­ ¡­¡±


    [It¡¯s not like that¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°So, I forced him to get these earrings. Without even asking his opinions properly, I forcibly took him to ¡®TourTur¡¯ restaurant and erased the debt by forcing him, who is uncomfortable with the debt, to choose such a gift¡­But you aren¡¯t even like that, are you?¡±


    [Isn¡¯t it the same? I didn¡¯t behave normally. I got drunk and even swarmed into his¡­ ¡­ .]


    ¡°It could be passed just as a drunken person talking nonsense, but Yoon-woo wanted to give you something like that to unnie even when you had no debt relationship with him, right? After all, Yoon-woo seems to like unnie much more than me¡­¡±


    [That¡­excuse me¡­Hye-rim?]


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    [I think¡­I think it¡¯s just a matter of your attitude¡­]


    ¡°Attitude? Like what? speech? Don¡¯t you like my tone of voice? but¡­ I¡¯ve heard a few times that it¡¯s not that bad.¡±


    [No, you talk kindly, but.. It¡¯s not like that¡­]


    ¡°Or is it my personality? Right¡­There were several times when I was angry and yelled at


    Yoon-woo, who was not at fault when I couldn¡¯t hold back my anger¡­¡±


    [No! It¡¯s not like that¡­]


    ¡°Huh? Then what?¡±


    [Why do you keep trying to force Yoon-woo to do things with you? You were also trying to buy him something to eat.]


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­ . I know that it¡¯s embarrassing. But right now, he¡¯s eating together without being burdened with money, right?¡±


    [Even so, you cook all the dishes, and when we clean up, we all clean up together, right? Even though Yoon-woo said he would do it alone.]


    ¡°Yoon-woo isn¡¯t good at handling cooking utensils, is he? So is unnie¡­ ¡­ . And I like to cook for Unnie and Yoon-woo, too. When we clean up, we have to clear it together quickly so that there is a lot of time left to study.¡±


    [But, because of his personality¡­Perhaps even with that, he feels very indebted to you?]


    ¡°Is it like that? I saw him like that before so it seems plausible¡­ But, he doesn¡¯t have to¡­ It¡¯s what I like to do¡­ ¡±


    [He¡¯s very uncomfortable just accepting things from others as you already know¡­.And, have you never asked Yoon-woo for anything?]


    ¡°I asked him once to go to the library together¡­¡±


    [It¡¯s hard to call that a request. Even in the library, you didn¡¯t follow him even if he agreed or not, did you? That might be rather uncomfortable for him.]


    ¡°Well¡­ Then, going to the gym together every morning?¡±


    [Tell him to exercise with you?]


    ¡°Just¡­ I just want to do what I can do for Yoon-woo¡­ I¡­¡±


    [From his point of view, he also receives it as a burden from you.]


    ¡°Is it? Oh, then, I asked him to pick this earring!¡±


    [Isn¡¯t that a return to ¡®TourTur¡¯?]


    ¡°Uh¡­ But, this earring itself is¡­ It¡¯s my request for him to pick this on his own..¡±


    [Does that even make sense for a request?]


    ¡°Isn¡¯t it? I think it will be¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [Look, if someone else does a favor to you, you have to keep it in your heart and give it back that much, but once you meet, you are only trying to help Yoon-woo, financially or non-monetarily.]


    ¡°But, I really like to do them. I also want Yoon-woo to accept them obediently, isn¡¯t that enough for a request?¡±


    [He¡¯s not a kid who can accept that. So, maybe he¡¯s nervous when he sees you? I don¡¯t know what kind of burden it will weigh on him¡­]


    ¡°Uh¡­is it? So, is Unnie different from me? Unnie also bought Yoon-woo lamb skewers and also¡­¡±


    [I¡¯m bargaining Yoon-woo with the study notes, okay?]


    ¡°Uh¡­Then, what about cream puffs or coin karaoke? If you buy something or go somewhere together, he¡¯ll probably turn down a few times¡­¡±


    [Yoon-woo bought the cream puff and the bread but he was not eating, I took it and ate it, and then I was full, so I begged him to eat one. So, he probably wouldn¡¯t accept it if I bought it.]


    ¡°Okay? Then what about coin karaoke?¡±


    [That¡¯s because I was full and bored of going for a walk alone, so I asked to go there together¡­I sang a song and pushed him to go. Oh, come to think of it, he didn¡¯t want to go there¡­Why did I have to¡­]


    ¡°Well¡­Uh¡­Then¡­What is the conclusion?¡±


    [ I mean, don¡¯t just keep trying to do something to Yoon-woo, but ask him what he wants to do. You should put aside your own logic of wanting to do it for a while and ask Yoon-woo to come up with something purely based on what he wants to do. And, after that, if you say that you¡¯ll repay it later, that¡¯ll be an excuse to meet again, right?]


    ¡°But will it happen? Won¡¯t he refuse?¡±


    [He won¡¯t. I already told you.]


    ¡°That¡­What if Unnie is wrong? What if Yoon-woo only listened to you because he only liked you? So, what I¡¯m saying is, if he declines me like a knife¡­¡±


    [What? So, you were saying you think you will become uncomfortable with Yoon-woo later if you ask him for his opinions first. ]


    ¡°I¡¯m also afraid that Yoon-woo will refuse me¡­Every time Yoon-woo refuses with various excuses, my heart hurts too¡­I wonder why I¡¯m feeling uncomfortable like this¡­ Still, I thought it wouldn¡¯t be the case if we kept seeing each other¡­¡±


    [Maybe my guess is right? I think that¡¯s his personality. If not, what kind of man would ignore you and hit on me first?]


    ¡°What about unnie? Aren¡¯t there many such men hitting on you? Yoon-woo also said that those earrings would be prettier if Unnie had it than me, right?¡±


    [So far, there has never been a man like that, when I go out for a drink with you¡­


    Everyone looks at you¡­]


    ¡°Isn¡¯t it? As far as I know¡­ with any man we¡¯ve met so far, Yoon-woo is totally different from those people!¡±


    [What¡­ Yeah, it may be, but¡­ Anyway, do as I say.]


    ¡°Eww¡­Do you want me to ask Yoon-woo? What would you like me to do? And, what am I supposed to do, Unnie?¡±


    [That¡¯s it¡­say it¡­ Say anything you want to do with Yoon-woo.]


    ¡°Anything is fine?¡­¡±


    [Well¡­How about watching a movie together?]


    ¡°It¡¯s great!¡±


    [Then, it¡¯s good.]


    ¡°By the way, how can I watch a movie with a kid who refuses to eat together because he doesn¡¯t have enough money and the same kid who says he doesn¡¯t want me to buy him?¡±


    [You have to speak well. Just say that there is a movie that you really want to see at the cinema, but you don¡¯t want to go alone, and you don¡¯t have anyone else to go with. You have to say that you have no one to watch with but him, and you can¡¯t watch this movie without him.]


    ¡°But I have unnie, right? Someone to go with. Yoon-woo would know¡­¡±


    [You can say it¡¯s a movie I don¡¯t like.]


    ¡°Unnie, don¡¯t you like all kinds of movies?¡±


    Ji-eun liked animated movies the most, but there was a cinema right next to her house, and she liked going to the cinema, so she watched it regardless of the types of the movies.


    That was also one of the reasons why Ji-eun was able to naturally lead the conversation to the story of the movie, no matter who she met and what kind of story she started.


    Not only that, even when alone at home, Ji-eun watches movies at random, regardless of era and genre.


    So, unless the person had never seen any movies before, it was easy to be dragged into the swamp of Ji-eun¡¯s movie story.


    Still, the great thing about Ji-eun was that she could understand the other person¡¯s taste and make it a pleasant conversation.


    Last time when Hye-rim went to Ji-eun¡¯s house, she was alone watching a black-and-white movie with no sound.


    She said she doesn¡¯t know where she got it, and she¡¯s been watching all of Charlie Chaplin¡¯s movies.


    [I¡¯m not very good at seeing cruel things¡­And, what does my taste have to do with this? Just pick any movie you like and say I don¡¯t like it. Or maybe it¡¯s a movie I¡¯ve already seen.]


    ¡°A brutal movie? Is there anything like that that has been released these days?¡±


    [There is, but you can¡¯t see right now, do you? So just anything¡­]


    ¡°No, I just remembered, Yoon-woo said he liked horror movies.¡±


    [What? It¡¯s surprising.]


    ¡°Isn¡¯t it? Wouldn¡¯t it be better to recommend a movie that Yoon-woo likes if possible?¡±


    [Uh¡­But are you really okay? It¡¯s a very scary movie¡­Even when I thought I could, I quickly realised I couldn¡¯t see it because I was too scared.]


    ¡°It¡¯s okay! It¡¯s absolutely fine, so please tell me the title. Let me try seeing that tomorrow. What¡¯s the title?¡±


    [Midsoma.]


    ¡°Wait a minute, searching¡­I¡¯m doing this, this is what comes out in this season, right?¡±


    Without hanging up on the phone, Hye-rim asked Ji-eun after searching for a movie for a while.


    [Hmm.]


    ¡°Thanks, Unnie. I¡¯ll tell Yoon-woo about this.¡±


    [It¡¯s fine¡­I hope it¡¯ll turn out okay.]


    ¡°But this¡­ Is it okay if you help me like this? Unnie is definitely¡­ Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    [It¡¯s okay. So far, I¡¯ve been a little rude¡­You even become depressed.]


    ¡°Well¡­¡±


    [And, Yoon-woo¡­I think he¡¯d be happier to know that you like to watch horror movies, too.]


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ ¡±


    [I can¡¯t even breathe in the middle of those several crashes in that movie, but why are you suddenly silent? Uh¡­Just try it once.]


    ¡°Thanks, Unnie. I will definitely buy you a meal.¡±


    [Yeah, I¡¯ll be looking forward to it.]


    I¡¯m sure it will be fine. Ji-eun thought as she hung up the phone.


    On the surface, she thinks that Yoon-woo is more friendly to me than her because he understands my personality better.


    She believes that she did not intentionally use Yoon-woo¡¯s personality to make friends with him, but I think I was a bit selfish to some extent since I did not give her this advice earlier.


    Because of my own greed and anxiety¡­ ¡­ .


    If it was Hye-rim, not me, who ate lamb skewers with Yoon-woo and laid in bed with Yoon-woo drunk, could she really say something like this to me?


    It didn¡¯t seem like it.


    I thought I should have at least one point where I have a win over Hye-rim.


    Of course, I didn¡¯t want to act consciously of each of these things, but¡­ ¡­ .


    Looking back on my own actions in hindsight, there was a thought hidden between my actions.


    As my feelings for Yoon-woo became more visible than before, my cowardly side also became much more visible.


    I couldn¡¯t tolerate myself becoming like that.


    Even if Yoon-woo didn¡¯t like me, I wanted to live as a person Yoon-woo could like, and he deserves to be loved by others.


    I was right in the beginning.


    I should have pushed them to get along well from the beginning.


    I¡¯m glad I was able to pretend to push even now.


    Perhaps tomorrow, Hye-rim will definitely make an appointment with Yoon-woo¡­


    Then, when the two of them do well, I¡­


    Her eyes were on the vodka above her cupboard as she had several thoughts.


    She looked at the vodka for a while¡­


    She then shook her head and jumped into her bed.


    And, she reread the message that Yoon-woo had sent to her which had been stored on her cell phone.


    Even after reading it all, she read it over and over again.


    It would have been better if Yoon-woo sent a longer message¡­


    Ji-eun, who crouched on her bed with such thoughts in mind, no longer smiled like before, even when she looked back at her conversation with Yoon-woo.


    [In the end, did you give the two of them presents? And, earrings at that¡­ I really don¡¯t know what you¡¯re doing.]


    ¡°Yeah. I didn¡¯t expect things to be this complicated. The debt I owed to that girl is still unfinished.¡±


    Today, Hye-eun¡¯s voice was more subdued than her usual voice.


    When Yoon-woo asked what was going on, she said that she was not feeling well.


    It is a time when the daily temperature difference is getting bigger.


    He told Hye-eun that she should take good care of her health, and she replied that he should take care of himself.


    After that, the conversation continued with the story of Hye-rim and Ji-eun¡¯s gift.


    Even just before entering the ¡®UST¡¯ shop with Hye-rim, Yoon-woo thought that such a topic would no longer intervene in conversations with Hye-eun by today.


    Yoon-woo wanted to tell a certain story to Hye-eun, but Hye-eun continued to lead the conversation by talking about the people around Yoon-woo.


    [But, did you even need to give a present to the senior? Do you have any specific debts to repay to that senior? It¡¯s just that she had been drinking too much anyway. It would have never happened if she hadn¡¯t been drunk.]


    ¡°Even if I don¡¯t owe any money, I made a lot of mistakes because I was drunk last time¡­ ¡±


    [That senior also made a lot of mistakes because she was drunk, right? Isn¡¯t that what happened?]


    ¡°Well¡­It may be, but¡­ I just wanted to buy it.¡±


    [Uh? Really? Why? Did you like that senior?]


    ¡°No, it sounds a bit cheeky to say ¡®like¡¯ , but¡­ I¡¯m just a little sad for her.¡±


    [In what way?]


    ¡°In my opinion¡­ That senior is a great person. Looks are looks, but like me¡­She is a person who takes good care of others and considers their opinions seriously whoever the other person is, has fun talking, and doesn¡¯t say anything that hurts others, and there are a lot of people who contact her¡­¡±


    [Then?]


    ¡°By the way, that senior is a person who has so many strengths in her and is loved by many people¡­ but she didn¡¯t seem to know who she was.¡±


    [Uh¡­]


    ¡°Blinded by a strange sense of inferiority that she shouldn¡¯t have, she doesn¡¯t even realize how attractive she is, she¡¯s just like me¡­ And, it was so sad that she was seeking the approval of a marginalized person like me. Leaving it alone makes it feel like I¡¯m cheating while I¡¯m dating her¡­¡± Wouldn¡¯t you have felt that way if you saw the scene where the fallen royal family begged for food from the commoners? It is a pity to see that the mouth that originally ate the whitest and softest bread in this country wanted this hard and coarse black bread¡­ Even the people who suffered from the tyranny of the royal family might offer bread out of sympathy if they saw the scene. Much less, Ji-eun was not a royal family who wielded tyranny. Among the royal family, she is a good and merciful person.


    [ T/N: The royal family: It literally means insiders; sociable and popular person in these sentences. Yoon-woo used it as a metaphor. ]


    [¡­¡­ .]


    ¡°So, I thought that if just getting recognition from me was enough for that senior to become confident and return to her original life, she should live happily. I think it will not be very difficult for her¡­ That senior is a person who should be confident and have fun.¡±


    [That¡­ Yoon-woo?]


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    [What you said about that senior now¡­ Don¡¯t you think that the same thing can apply to you?]


    ¡°In what way?¡±


    [You are also a person who is confident enough and can live happily. You shouldn¡¯t be the kind of person to belittle yourself and be pessimistic about life.]


    ¡°Thank you for looking at me like that. But you are the only one who sees it like that.¡±


    [Uhhh¡­ Seriously, if you are someone who could understand your words well, you wouldn¡¯t be living like this¡­]


    ================================

 Chapter 44

    Paranoid Love Affair


    Episode 44


    ================================


    On Thursday morning, the day after receiving Ji-eun¡¯s advice, Hye-rim, who finished exercising with Yoon-woo at the gym, was making up her mind.


    I was scared that I had to ask someone, who didn¡¯t want to do anything, to do something¡­


    However, when I went home yesterday and thought deeply, I realized that Ji-eun¡¯s words were true.


    Ji-eun said that the act I tried to show my favor made Yoon-woo uncomfortable with me¡­


    Come to think about it, I was just like my father.


    My father constantly carried out a material front to win the heart of his daughter, who had grown cold towards him.


    To my father, who does not stop doing such things no matter how much I reject or curse,


    I only formally left a single word, ¡®Thank you.¡¯


    Then my father, seeing it, seemed to think he had succeeded in changing his daughter¡¯s heart a little.


    It is disgusting.


    There would be no real Hye-rim in the world that my father could see.


    A successful head of the household, a father who does not spare his love for his naive daughter, there is only such a beautiful self in him.


    He was only a subject and a human being himself, and the rest were merely objects in his life to make him stand out.


    In the eyes of such a father, I am just a girl whose puberty is not over yet; forever his little girl.


    Just as most daughters begin to hate the nagging of their fathers during their puberty, he must¡¯ve thought that I was just like them.


    ¡®What the hell did Dad do wrong? Dad always did his best¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    My father said that with a face that seemed to think that he was really only a victim with good intentions.


    He is a damn human.


    My mother trusted him.


    My mother really got along with him well.


    She was too naive and beautiful for him.


    Even though her chest might be a little ugly¡­ ¡­


    ¡®It¡¯s still okay, isn¡¯t it? I¡¯m still living with your father anyway¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    My mother, who said that to me, trusted my father like a rock.


    So, she didn¡¯t hesitate much when the doctor offered her options.


    She can keep her appearance with minimal abstinence, but doing so raises her cancer recurrence rate, the doctor said.


    On the other hand, she (the doctor) said, if she had a lot of abstinence, she had a lower cancer recurrence rate, but she had to be bald.


    My mother chose the latter.


    Since then, my mother didn¡¯t even go to a salon, which she loved so much, until she passed away.


    She was reluctant to show me her body even while changing her clothes.


    Would it have been different if she had made a different choice?


    It won¡¯t be.


    Even after she did that, she had her breast cancer recurring. Discovering it too late, we had no one else to blame.


    At least, can I blame fate?


    However, if cancer recurrence or death is an unavoidable fate, there were still humans near her whose roles are to respect and protect her heart before the unavoidable fate.


    Mother had purely believed that my father would continue to love her even after she had her breast removed; a beautiful and precious thing that deserved respect.


    So, if you are a normal human being, you should not betray such a heart.


    But, my father didn¡¯t keep it.


    I realized too late that my own father was a human who didn¡¯t even know the value of such a heart.


    And, I was ashamed and distressed that I behaved similarly like him, whom I hated so much.


    It was Ji-eun, not me, who properly understood what Yoon-woo was thinking.


    Is it the genes or education left behind by my father that makes me want to do something without hesitation just by looking at him?


    If so, I must overcome it.


    She could not tolerate the fact that she in any way was her father¡¯s daughter.


    With that in mind, she came out of her shower room, memorizing the words once again that she had to say to Yoon-woo.


    ¡°Again, Yoon-woo is out first, But, I washed up really quickly today¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯m sorry, did you wait for a long time?¡±


    ¡°No, I just got out.¡±


    Yoon-woo¡¯s body smelled of fragrant soap.


    Even though his hair was dry, there were still water drops all over his head.


    The water drops glistened in the light.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, did you dry your hair?¡±


    ¡°Uh? I dried¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Hye-rim put her hand on the top of Yoon-woo¡¯s head and moved her hand through his hair.


    He had dried it only roughly, that even the top part was still very wet, and water drops were running down the back of his neck.


    In fact, it was Hye-rim who stretched out her hand, thinking it was an excuse to touch his hair,


    but Yoon-woo¡¯s hair was much wetter than she thought, so she shook her hand and wiped it off.


    It was fortunate that she decided to exercise early in the morning.


    When she walks with Yoon-woo, there are many people who glance at Yoon-woo, but seeing his messy appearance without drying his hair properly now, it seems like there were fewer people who approached her and asked for her number for nothing.


    ¡°Is this dry? Do you usually dry like this?¡± Hye-rim asked while wiping her wet hands.


    ¡°Ah¡­ ¡­ This is fine.¡±


    ¡°Nope! If you don¡¯t dry it properly, it¡¯s bad for your scalp health! What if you lose your hair?¡±


    ¡°Hye-rim didn¡¯t dry either.¡±


    ¡°I have long hair and it takes so long¡­ ¡­ . I¡¯ll go home and dry it.¡±


    ¡°Then, I¡¯ll go home and dry it again.¡±


    ¡°You have short hair, so why are you drying it out only roughly?¡±


    ¡°I have to wait.¡±


    ¡°Uh? What are you waiting for¡­Wait, did you mean whoever finished first has to wait? Did you rush out because of that?¡±


    ¡°Nope, it¡¯s okay. Let¡¯s go. It will be bad for your scalp if you stay too long.¡±


    ¡°¡­Huh. But from now on, don¡¯t worry about me and finish everything carefully and come out.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡±


    I don¡¯t know if it was okay or not. I¡¯m not even sure if he would listen to me or not.


    It is also Ji-eun¡¯s ability that Yoon-woo listens well to her.


    But, thinking that she would go to the gym every morning and have a cute argument over whether Yoon-woo dried his hair properly from now on, a smile unknowingly appeared on her face.


    It was difficult to say that Yoon-woo¡¯s expression was still bright, but it seemed to be much better than when we first met.


    The behavior seems to be much more natural.


    It seemed that he did not want me to wait, so when I imagined Yoon-woo coming out with his hair dry roughly, it reminded me of Yoon-woo when I was young.


    Yoon-woo has been a person who naturally shows consideration in his actions since he was young.


    If you were a normal person, wouldn¡¯t you have turned away from seeing the vomit on your clothes from another person?


    If it were the other kids, they would point out me, who vomited while riding a bus, and wouldn¡¯t they have called other kids to see it here?


    Wouldn¡¯t they have cursed me for taking responsibility for their clothes that were soiled?


    Wouldn¡¯t they have made fun of me for months and years?


    It seemed that human nature was like that.


    When people have free time, they want to frame others, belittle them, trample them, then step on their backs and show them off everything they can be proud of to others.


    ¡®Look! I am so awesome! This guy under my feet is far inferior to me!¡¯


    However, they only hide it because they know that expressing such feelings and behaviours will be seen as antisocial behaviors.


    Then, when given the opportunity, as long as it is justified that it is okay to attack others, they reveal their violent natures.


    If it were someone else, the situation in which I vomit on the clothes might have been seen as a situation that gave the warrant to attack me.


    But it wasn¡¯t like that for Yoon-woo.


    As soon as Yoon-woo saw Hye-rim covered in vomit, he reached out the clothes with his hand.


    He didn¡¯t hesitate for a moment.


    It was as if his nature consisted only of good intentions.


    The well-hidden nature of good intentions seems to leak out like a bright light through a small gap.


    I still remember the words Yoon-woo muttered back then.


    ¡®Oh right, there was a tissue¡­¡¯


    That mumble was proof.


    Proof that the backbone that controls Yoon-woo¡¯s behavior is made up of good intentions.


    Even though he had travel tissues in his pocket, the thought of having to wipe the vomit off other people¡¯s clothes outweighed the worry of getting his hands dirty!


    Is it really the influence of my father that makes me want to give something when I see Yoon-woo like that?


    If anyone knows Yoon-woo¡¯s nature, isn¡¯t there a thought that anyone would naturally ask for help from him ?


    So, it must be unnatural to be so hesitant to ask for something from Yoon-woo.


    Hye-rim childhood memories made Yoon-woo look more lovable to her, but also made her be on guard of her own behavior.


    Because she was afraid to be hated so much by such a lovely person again.


    ¡°Excuse me¡­ You know, Yoon-woo¡­¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    Hye-rim left the gym and walked towards the crossroads with Yoon-woo, and she began to bring out the words that she had carefully prepared.


    ¡°That¡­ ¡­ . Actually, I have something to ask you¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Request? You to me? What is it?¡±


    ¡°Will you help me out?¡±


    ¡°Anything I can do.¡±


    Yoon-woo¡¯s reaction was much more positive than she thought.


    His reaction was completely different from when she said she would buy him something or do something for him.


    ¡®What¡¯s that reaction? Ji-eun is right¡­¡¯


    ¡°So, what is your request?¡±


    ¡°Uh, actually, like I said before, I don¡¯t have any friends. Except for Ji-eun and you.¡±


    ¡°Huh? uh¡­ ¡­ . really?¡±


    ¡°What, you didn¡¯t believe me?¡±


    ¡°I thought it was only just in words. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll be popular¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°You see? Uh¡­Because I couldn¡¯t stand my temper and made mistakes here and there, my relationship with others didn¡¯t last.¡±


    In fact, she had never had a public accident with someone in a crowd.


    But it¡¯s true that I don¡¯t have friends.


    Because I cut off the meetings with people, who were after me only because of my face, at the beginning of the semester, and my personal social activities were also abandoned.


    So, I became disillusioned with the relationships.


    ¡°Uh¡­ It¡¯s such a pity.¡±


    ¡°Such a pity? For what?¡±


    ¡°Still¡­I think a lot of people like you¡­ No matter what mistakes you made¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. I just like playing with you and Ji-eun unnie like this.¡±


    What value do I give to others? I don¡¯t need to know.


    Hye-rim, in the last few weeks, thought that during her lifetime, she should use her time efficiently only on people whom she loves.


    ¡°So, what I want to ask is, Yoon-woo¡­¡±


    ¡°Hmm?¡±


    ¡°There is a movie I really want to see¡­I have no one to go with. And, I hate going to the cinema alone. After watching the movie, sharing a review with the person I went with would be enjoyable, but going alone is so boring¡­¡±


    Hye-rim has been thinking of many excuses, thinking that Yoon-woo might say to her that it is okay to watch it alone.


    ¡°Uh¡­Isn¡¯t Ji-eun¡¯s noona there?¡±


    ¡°Ji-eun unnie said she couldn¡¯t watch that kind of movie because she was afraid.¡±


    ¡°Huh? Is it a scary movie?¡±


    ¡°Hmm. You said you liked horror movies, right?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right¡­But Hyerim, do you like that too? Last time obviously¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°I like them! I love them very much!¡±


    On the day they were going to see Inside Out, at the bus stop, when asked what kind of movie I like, I showed a reluctance towards watching horror movies.


    As soon as the bus came, I thought Yoon-woo hadn¡¯t heard it, but he remembered it all¡­ ¡­ .


    Hye-rim was embarrassed because he seemed to have noticed her intentions, but she was also happy that Yoon-woo remembered even the smallest words of her.


    ¡°Is that so?¡­I see.¡±


    ¡°So, I want you to go with me, Yoo-woo! Aren¡¯t you good at seeing scary things? It will be fun to see them together.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­okay. I will also reserve a movie ticket.¡±


    ¡°Huh? Are you making a purchase? Why? I¡¯m asking you to go with me¡­¡±


    ¡°That¡­To be honest, I don¡¯t think I could repay you enough with earrings. Those earrings¡­ I even recommended it to you who didn¡¯t even have an ear pierced¡­¡±


    ¡°Because I really like it! Why don¡¯t you believe this? That¡¯s why I wear it every day.¡±


    ¡°¡­Thanks. Still, can¡¯t I make the movie theater reservations for you? Oh, popcorn and drinks too¡­¡±


    Yoon-woo somehow seemed to want to pay back the 50,000 won that he owed to me.


    She had been hurt by Yoon-woo¡¯s attitude like this before, but she should have known that Yoon-woo was such a person who respected his choices.


    I couldn¡¯t just push Yoon-woo¡¯s heart without respecting it.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, you are too¡­Then I¡¯ll buy you dinner! How is it?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­Then, what about Ji-eun noona?¡±


    ¡°I told her already! I told her that not only will we go to the movies together, we will also eat together.¡± This was also the idea of Ji-eun.


    ¡°But then the payment¡­Do you have any plans for dinner?¡±


    If I ask him to go to a place like ¡®TourTur¡¯ here, I am repeating the same mistake.


    There was also something in my mind so that Yoon-woo would not feel burdened.


    ¡°How about a light Subway? You can eat as many vegetables as usual¡­If you¡¯re burdened with me buying it, you buy some bigger popcorn instead. And, also buy a beer for me¡­Is that okay?¡± Unlike before, you can drink beer in movie theaters these days.


    If we get drunk in moderation, wouldn¡¯t we be able to have a more natural conversation after the movie is over?


    We can play some more¡­


    Then we can speak about movies and play some other things until we reach 9 p.m..


    So Hye-rim had many expectations.


    ¡°Well¡­okay.¡±


    In my mind, I wanted to cover all his expenses.


    If we went to the cinema together, I wanted to resolve all the issues: reservations, popcorn, and dinner.


    However, Yoon-woo was not the kind of person that took my money for granted.


    I didn¡¯t even want to spend 100 won on someone who took it for granted.


    But Yoon-woo-ah and Ji-eun were not like that.


    I didn¡¯t mind spending any amount of money on them.


    Yoon-woo, who was trying to pay back without receiving my heart, is naive.


    However, the fact that these kinds of stories come and go is premised on going to the cinema together.


    Unlike usual, Yoon-woo accepted the offer without ever rejecting it.


    I seem to have figured out how to treat Yoon-woo a little now.


    Instead of telling Yoon-woo where to go or what to eat, she says, ¡®I need you for this and this, so why not join me? Instead, I¡¯ll do XX.¡¯


    She had to make Yoon-woo understand that it was not that she was doing favors to Yoon-woo, but that she needed him and paid the price for it.


    I wish I had realized this earlier¡­


    When I realized it, it was also funny.


    I just want to play together, so I have to come up with a strategy like this¡­


    While she was thinking like that, she came to a crossroads where she had to part with Yoon-woo.


    ¡®What do we do? I haven¡¯t decided on anything specific yet¡­¡¯ Only then did Hye-rim hurriedly speak out of her.


    ¡°Uh, what should we do? We¡¯re already here¡­But, buying and seeing¡­There are a lot of things that haven¡¯t been decided yet.¡±


    ¡°What is the title of the movie? First of all, I¡¯ll make a reservation in advance. Is the date on the weekend? When are you comfortable?¡±


    ¡°The title is ¡®Midsoma¡¯. Would Saturday be appropriate? Horror movies are usually shown at night¡­ ¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­? Midsoma? Isn¡¯t the title wrong?¡±


    ¡°Nope! That¡¯s right.¡±


    ¡°Is that really what you want to see?¡±


    ¡°Huh? Uh, why? Yoon-woo, is it not good?¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s a movie I¡¯ve been wanting to see, but¡­ I can¡¯t believe you also like it¡­¡±


    ¡°Yep! I like it too. This is the movie you¡¯ve been waiting for! The director¡¯s name is ¡®Ari Aster¡¯, right? I also enjoyed the previous work, ¡°Inheritance¡±. I didn¡¯t actually see it.


    I¡¯ve only been reading the details of the plot and spoilers on the internet to convince myself.


    ¡°I see. Hye-rim sees that too. It¡¯s surprising.¡±


    ¡°Then! Let¡¯s go see a horror movie together like this more often from now on. No matter how much you like it, isn¡¯t it scary to see it alone?¡±


    But there was something that Hye-rim had overlooked.


    She was so absorbed in her mind that she only wanted to see a movie with Yoon-woo, so she didn¡¯t pay much attention to the content of the movie.


    ¡°To be honest, I was scared to see a corpse by myself before, but it worked out a while ago.¡±


    ¡°Huh? Dead body?¡±


    ¡°Hmm. I heard that this movie contains scenes of people peeling off their skin or having their hair smashed, so it¡¯s a bit¡­¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­¡±


    ¡°I saw Hereditary, but the directing was so bizarre and terrible¡­I turned it off and on several times while watching it alone at home. But this time, they heard that a team that specializes in directing the body participated, so I wonder how terrible it must be¡­¡±


    ¡°Eww¡­¡±


    ¡°Hye-rim?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Anyway, can I make a reservation for Saturday night?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°What time would be a good time? The show time¡¯s a little late. The earliest is at 8:40¡­¡±


    ¡°Okay then, let¡¯s do it then.¡±


    ¡°Then, you don¡¯t have to buy dinner. Even if we eat together as usual and see you later¡­¡±


    ¡°Nope! Instead of that, let¡¯s meet around 7 o¡¯clock and eat together at Subway and go shopping around the mall.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­Hye-rim, if you don¡¯t like the movie¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay! So, let¡¯s do that, Yoon-woo, hurry up and go dry your hair!¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I got it. See you later.¡±


    And as soon as Hye-rim came back to her house and dried her hair, she called Ji-eun.


    [Eww¡­Are you really Hye-rim? Why early this morning¡­]


    ¡°Unnie, what should I do¡­Something big happened¡­¡±


    [What is it¡­]


    ¡°The movie that Unnie said was very cruel¡­¡±


    [Oh what, have you already talked to Yoon-woo?]


    ¡°Hmm¡­As soon as we got done at the gym in the morning.¡±


    [See you talking about the contents of the movie¡­How is it?]


    ¡°I even made a reservation. But¡­I just heard about the movie from Yoon-woo¡­ It¡¯s too¡­¡±


    [Is that what I said? I said just choose something else that you like¡­With a light romance¡­]


    ¡°I just like playing with Yoon-woo, so I tried to choose the movie that he likes¡­¡±


    [Good job. If you think so, be patient and careful.]


    ¡°I saw people crying too¡­ But you know, when a human skull is crushed and the skin is peeled off¡­ eww¡­ . How is a movie even like that?¡±


    [Ah¡­Is that so?]


    ¡°Huh¡­What should I do? If I just look at them and scream, then¡­¡±


    [There are quite a few people chirping in the middle of a horror movie, so don¡¯t worry too much¡­]


    ¡°Maybe it¡¯s not at the level of cute chirping?! What if I scream and everyone looks at me? I might cry while watching¡­ Maybe I¡¯ll faint¡­ What do I do, Unnie¡­ I am ruined.¡±


    [Why are you thinking this all of a sudden¡­]


    ¡°I mean, I bluffed a lot to Yoon-woo because I like scary things, and I said that we¡¯ll see each other again in the future!¡±


    [Why did you¡­]


    ¡°Oh my God¡­ How weird would it look if I scream? How embarrassing would I be?¡±


    [Then, if Yoon-woo was sitting while holding his arms crossed and you¡¯re scared, ask him to give you an arm. Then it might be worth seeing, right?]


    ¡°Uh¡­? Is that so?¡±


    [¡­ It¡¯s a joke, Hye-rim¡­ ]


    ================================

 Chapter 45

    Paranoid Love Affair


    Episode 45


    My confusion is a spiral that I cannot escape, there¡¯s no means to end it.


    I had been running in circles for too long.


    In the meantime, my mind became more and more complicated, and the crooked thoughts that grew from that mind was like a little plant sprouting from the soil which stretched out slowly and buried my daily life underneath it.


    Even I, myself, was vaguely aware of that fact.


    But I have been ignoring it.


    I hated seeing it because I already knew the answer.


    How ugly would I have become if all my thoughts that I had neglected for so long were tangled up and exposed to the outside world?


    Like Jangdok that has been left unattended for a long time. Wouldn¡¯t maggots have infested it when the lid left open for a long time?


    After seeing it, will I be able to remove them cleanly?


    In order to live a normal life, a minimum level of self-love was needed to protect oneself.


    Since I can¡¯t love myself, who is infested with maggots, I choose to live without opening the lid.


    However¡­


    ¡®If it was Hye-rim instead of me¡­ Would it have been different?¡¯


    ¡®Nothing would have changed.¡¯


    Perhaps because Yoon-woo said so, I thought that even if I opened the lid a little, I would be able to maintain enough narcissism to go about my daily life.


    But, the answer was as expected.


    I, who had been neglected and stayed without opening the lid for a long time, had an ugly and mean heart.


    ¡®Because Hye-rim is pretty and she has a nice body.¡¯


    ¡®Because people only look at Hye-rim.¡¯


    ¡®Hye-rim is¡­¡¯


    The entitlement and jealousy that I had suppressed¡­¡­


    Those were very useful tools to justify my actions.


    So, I do not actively help Hye-rim, nor do I reveal my sincerity to Yoon-woo clearly; I only just treat them with an ambivalent attitude with ambiguous words.


    Come to think of it, I had been hurt by the attitudes of people who treated me and Hye-rim differently blatantly, but in fact, it was I who treated me and Hye-rim differently than anyone else.


    I have been trying to ignore the value of all the efforts Hye-rim makes.


    I also know that Hye-rim isn¡¯t just pretty.


    Hye-rim does her best at everything.


    Just because she¡¯s pretty doesn¡¯t mean she¡¯s relying on other people¡¯s efforts.


    She writes hard and reviews hard.


    Although she likes to eat, she also works hard to manage her diet and exercise to take care of her body.


    Besides, she is constantly thinking about what to do for Yoon-woo.


    While ignoring the perfect appearances in front of me, I just remained calm.


    I was just lying on the bed while drinking.


    I was afraid to be serious.


    It was because I didn¡¯t want to get serious and then be ignored for failing, and ridiculed by others.


    When I went to the gym to work out, I was afraid that people would stare at my small body.


    If I enter a gym full of college students with my elementary school age¡¯s height, won¡¯t everyone stare at me curiously?


    I thought I¡¯d easily be laughed at.


    Even if I like someone, who will take my heart seriously?


    Wouldn¡¯t he say no with a troubled face?


    Will I also become a thing for him to joke about?


    So I found a very cowardly escape plan. I always have a flighty attitude towards things I am not confident about.


    I could use anything as an excuse.


    My own small stature, a hangover, and even Hye-rim¡­


    Hye-rim always said that I should also workout. She even said that I should go to the gym with her and sleep properly.


    But each time, I passed on it with my playful tone.


    ¡®I have to drink in the evening and I have to sleep in the morning because of a hangover, where¡¯s the time to exercise?¡¯


    And each time I said that, she looked at me with a look that she couldn¡¯t believe the absurdity. In fact, there were two small pink dumbbells under my bed.


    I do 50 squats with it almost every day.


    But I donn¡¯t tell anyone about it.


    Because I was shy to say that I work out that much.


    Can I say that I am athletic?


    Aren¡¯t I supposed to dress up like Hye-rim in tracksuit and go to the gym and lift heavy barbells so that I can say that I work out?


    And even if I work out like Hye-rim, I will never have a body like her.


    Knowing I would not get the results that I wanted after putting a lot of effort into it, I¡¯d feel embarrassed about going through the process of that effort.


    It was the same with my feelings for Yoon-woo.


    I am someone like Hye-rim in his eyes, but I am Ji-eun. First, can I truthfully say that I like Yoon-woo?


    Unlike Hye-rim, I didn¡¯t think of Yoon-woo for a long time, and I didn¡¯t meet him fatefully in college.


    Can I take the attitude that I¡¯ve done so far that I like Yoon-woo?


    But that wasn¡¯t my choice.


    It was because my mind was out of control and moved at will without logic, after growing up at will since I was young.


    The wish that I wanted from Yoon-woo was to accept me as I am; it was only an expression of the part of my already overgrown heart that had broken the surface.


    I wanted my own big heart to be as small and light as possible, so I wrapped many cheap wrappers around it.


    It was also the most despicable part of myself that had built me up and I turned away from it many times because I didn¡¯t want to see beneath the surface of the water.


    Actually, that gave me an idea.


    I want to affirm everything about Yoon-woo.


    I feel that Yoon-woo wants to carry the heavy worries of his life alone by himself.


    Through the cracks in the wall of consciousness that Yoon-woo builds to ward people, I think it would be good if he shows all the painful wounds to the point that I can see at first glance.


    Yoon-woo builds his defense by showing his teeth to other people, but I think it would be good if he leans on me with peace of mind without caution¡­


    That¡¯s the kind of heart I have for Yoon-woo, but I was afraid that I might be someone Yoon-woo didn¡¯t need as time progresses.


    Yoon-woo leaned on Hye-rim, and I seemed to look at such a scene with only a disappointed look on my face.


    So, I had deceived myself as if it was a conditional statement in the case I fell in love with Yoon-woo, ¡® Yoon-woo should accept me as I am¡¯.


    But I couldn¡¯t do it anymore.


    The question of how long I had known Yoon-woo was not important.


    Because all the hidden parts of icebergs that were submerged below the surface of water have risen.


    And, I had already looked at that gigantic form of ice, I couldn¡¯t turn away and forget it any longer.


    All of a sudden, my heart became a wide sea with a wild storm.


    So, no matter how much my consciousness rowed and struggled, I could not seek refuge where I could hide myself.


    When Ji-eun calmed down, she was fiddling with the earrings on her ear, thinking of Yoon-woo.


    The amount of time I took to calm my mind was getting longer.


    When Yoon-woo caught me from falling down the stairs, how electric I felt from Yoon-woo¡¯s chest muscles that touched my back, how cozy I felt when I slept holding Yoon-woo¡¯s arm tightly in my arms. When he held my foot with both hands, how warm his big hands were, those memories continued to swirl in my mind, even if I didn¡¯t try to actively recall it.


    Although I could push the lid on my memories, I couldn¡¯t bring my senses back.


    Besides, although I was the closest with Yoon-woo, because I was drunk, my memory was even more hazy.


    When can we create such a situation again?


    This time, she won¡¯t be excited like an idiot, don¡¯t let herself and Yoon-woo drink too much, but pretend she¡¯s drunk in moderation¡­


    Can¡¯t she have a good time?


    However, right now, Hye-rim had already made an appointment with Yoon-woo.


    And I had already given Hye-rim a lot of advice.


    When I faced my cowardly side, I was forced to act like that.


    Considering the acting skills of Hye-rim, she would probably continue to approach Yoon-woo in some way.


    Then, Hye-rim eventually goes out with Yoon-woo, and this may lead to me embracing my uncontrollable heart alone and continuing the drift of my mind, indefinitely.


    On Saturday, Hye-rim and Yoon-woo would be walking around the mall together, having dinner at ¡°Subway¡± and going to see a movie.


    For some reason, she also knew that Yoon-woo liked horror movies.


    So, even though it¡¯s a movie with a lot of gore scenes that she herself hates, she said she wanted to see it together with him, so she even recommended Yoon-woo.


    What will the two of them talk about while choosing a sandwich together at Subway?


    Has Yoon-woo ever placed an order there?


    Maybe not?


    Then, Yoon-woo, who doesn¡¯t know what to order, will ask Hye-rim, what kind of bread is popular, what kind of sauce is delicious, and what combination she recommends. Then, wouldn¡¯t Hye-rim also like to explain?


    So in the end, Yoon-woo, who doesn¡¯t know what it is, will choose the same menu as Hye-rim, and he will praise her by saying that her combination of sandwiches are delicious.


    Then, Yoon-woo gets used to the taste, and whenever he goes to Subway alone, he may only order the same combination as Hye-rim and eat it.


    What¡¯s the big deal about that sandwich that makes me feel so desperate?


    For example, this could be the case.


    When Yoon-woo and I went to ¡°Subway¡± later¡­ ¡­ .


    While standing in line, to Yoon-woo, I would be eagerly talking about what I thought was the best combination¡­


    Then, this is what Yoon-woo will talk about.


    ¡®I still liked the combination that Hye-rim recommended the most.¡¯


    Then, if he chooses a completely different sandwich from me¡­


    It won¡¯t just be a sandwich.


    That sandwich would be Hye-rim¡¯s suggestion to Yoon-woo!


    So when that time comes, even with me, Yoon-woo would continue to look for Hye-rim, and I find traces of Hye-rim everywhere in Yoon-woo¡¯s actions!


    It¡¯s miserable just thinking about it.


    After that, my ugly appearance, with a sandwich which has completely different contents from Yoon-woo, is stuffed abruptly into my mouth¡­ ¡­


    Even that brief meal might have such a big impact on him, so how much more will the time of that long date change Yoon-woo?


    If Hye-rim sniffs while watching a scary scene¡­ ¡­


    Hye-rim wants to see a movie with Yoon-woo but if he finds out that she lied about her taste because of that simply because she wanted to watch one with him¡­ ¡­ How lovely would Hye-rim look to Yoon-woo?


    Wouldn¡¯t even Yoon-woo¡¯s strange sense of thought that no one would like him could melt away at his appearance?


    Perhaps on the pretext of being afraid, Yoon-woo and Hye-rim might even hold hands and watch the movie.


    They might even loop arms like at a wedding.


    Then, after leaving the movie theater and sharing movie views from each other, if Hye-rim gets into a strange mood and pushes them away by talking about what to do after 9 p.m., can weak Yoon-woo refuse it?


    If he can¡¯t refuse, then¡­


    Yoon-woo said that as a condition for him to believe that the other person likes him, he wants the other person to be someone who resembles him.


    Yoon-woo and Hye-rim look alike.


    Both are tall and beautiful with long arms and legs.


    If the two of them dated, they would be very compatible.


    Of course, Yoon-woo said that he was looking for people who were similar to him on the inside, not on the outside.


    But in my thoughts¡­ ¡­ .


    It was only a matter of his choice.


    Because people have so many different sides.


    And he doesn¡¯t even understand it all himself fully.


    I think, before deciding whether someone resembles you or not, what parts of someone you like and what parts you don¡¯t, your feelings for the other person might already precede you?


    If anyone thinks carefully, he or she can find countless similarities between themselves and the other person.


    Likewise, you can find countless points that are different from yourself.


    Nevertheless, I think it is because of the difference in the number of steps that you take to understand someone that people say that they resemble each other or that they are not, so as to understand whether they fit well or do they not.


    If the mind of a person is a statue that seems to be different depending on the perspective, it is possible that the part that resembles you, or the part you like, can immediately catch your eye without even taking a few steps towards someone that piques your interest.


    But for some people, it may take a lot of steps to find that part.


    However, moving one step at a time is very difficult and cumbersome in most cases, so people only check the aspect from one angle and quickly turn away.


    However, if the statue is so lovely, and if the steps around it are exciting and happy, then there is no reason not to keep walking around it.


    So, more than any other statue, you will find a lot of similarities and things you like in that statue.


    In fact, until I ate lamb skewers with Yoon-woo, I did not think so deeply about Yoon-woo¡¯s words, ¡®I like people similar to myself¡¯.


    But when I realized it, it was me.


    Yoon-woo grows bigger and bigger in my heart, and I go round and round around Yoon-woo several times and look over and over again, and I really find a lot of myself in Yoon-woo.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s unfortunate family history and his fear of people¡­


    Come to think of it, my family wasn¡¯t happy either.


    Aren¡¯t I the only one left in the empty house?


    Yoon-woo is always alone and I meet a lot of people, but I was always afraid of people even while being among them.


    Even if she looks completely different from him, she can quickly find similarities with just a few steps like this.


    As she kept walking around Yoon-woo in her heart¡­


    Suddenly, she felt like she was trapped in a washing machine.


    Unknowingly, she was lying on a bed in her cramped bedroom, with the ceiling gradually falling down; the room closing in on her.


    And Yoon-woo was lying alone on her wide bed, hugging a pillow.


    However, I have also taken quite a few steps about Hye-rim so far.


    So, I knew a lot about the similarities between Hye-rim and Yoon-woo.


    So in the end, it is up to Yoon-woo to think.


    In Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes, someone similar to him could be Hye-rim or me.


    Yoon-woo walked alone with his blank mind, far from comprehending Hye-rim and my aspects, as if he couldn¡¯t even properly see the aspects of me and Hye-rim from his perspective.


    He seemed terrified and scared, crouching down and looking only at the ground.


    If so, maybe, the person Yoon-woo gets to hang out with will be the one who makes Yoon-woo look at himself by raising his head first.


    Could that be Hye-rim?


    Yoon-woo said it was difficult to accept the fact that someone likes him, but is there anything simpler and easier to understand than Hye-rim¡¯s love?


    The wave of thoughts that rushed to Ji-eun showed no sign of stopping.


    It was 11pm on a Thursday night.


    In the morning, after receiving a phone call from Hye-rim saying that she had booked a movie, all these thoughts were in Ji-eun¡¯s head.


    But she didn¡¯t even have the right to complain to anyone.


    While Hye-rim continued to struggle with doing favors for Yoon-woo, she had created meaningful situations with Yoon-woo several times in a clever and disgraceful way.


    Even if it wasn¡¯t directly intentional¡­¡­


    Nevertheless, it was purely Ji-eun¡¯s fault that there was no progress with Yoon-woo and that she just only caused him trouble.


    It wasn¡¯t Hye-rim¡¯s fault, her luck was also not to be blamed. She ruined it all by herself.


    In the eyes of Ji-eun who lamented like that, the wine bottles in the cupboard shimmered again.


    It was too tiring to carry on with her thoughts.


    ¡®Ah¡­ ¡­ . No. If I drink again, I won¡¯t be a human¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    ¡®¡­ ¡­ Can¡¯t I just have one drink though?¡¯


    ¡®No, I¡¯m crazy¡­ ¡­ . When was the last time I was done with just one drink? Really?¡¯


    If she drank again while she was in this state, she didn¡¯t know what she would do to Yoon-woo again.


    With that in mind, Ji-eun decided to drive the bottle out of sight. However¡­ ¡­ .


    ¡®Why did I leave such bottles all over the house?¡¯


    The bottle wasn¡¯t just in the kitchen cupboard.


    It was spread all over the place, next to the TV in the living room, on the desk in her room, and on the shoe rack in the hallway.


    Unless it¡¯s a drink that needs to be put in the refrigerator, she just left it somewhere nearby after drinking it.


    Ji-eun collected them, put them in a nook where they used to be in the past, and cleaned up all the empty wine bottles that had been scattered around.


    And when I washed up and laid down on the bed, the day had already passed.


    Still, I could not sleep easily.


    When I closed my eyes, the worries I had been dealing with all day today came to trouble her, over and over again.


    Even when I turned on the Wetube, the contents did not reach my ears at all.


    How did I spend such troubled nights when I was in middle school or high school when I didn¡¯t drink alcohol?


    It¡¯s been a few years and I don¡¯t remember.


    What was Yoon-woo like in middle school and high school?


    Was he alone like he is now?


    If that was the case, I wish I had been in the same school and class as him¡­ ¡­ .


    Then, no matter what anyone says, I would¡¯ve first approached Yoon-woo and talked to him¡­ ¡­ .


    And¡­ ¡­ .


    I don¡¯t know what time I fell asleep with such delusions.


    The last time I checked the time was 4 o¡¯clock and I woke up at 8 o¡¯clock, so at most I only slept for 4 hours.


    However, the classic economics class, which runs from 9 am to 11:45 am on Friday morning, is a class where I can be with Yoon-woo for nearly three hours.


    I couldn¡¯t miss it.


    Maybe the day before Hye-rim and Yoon-woo date, it will be the last chance to meet him.


    Something¡­ ¡­ . Maybe I should do something?


    She didn¡¯t want to return Yoon-woo¡¯s coat that was washed yesterday without giving something.


    She should pretend to have forgotten and made an appointment with that as an excuse¡­


    ¡®Is there anything I can do for Yoon-woo? An excuse to meet¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    While thinking about it, Ji-eun was fiddling with her earrings again, and something suddenly came to her mind.


    ¡®Ah¡­ ¡­ . Wait a minute. Far from giving him an excuse, don¡¯t I have something to pay back?¡¯


    Come to think of it, I have not yet given something to Yoon-woo in return for the earrings.


    She had a legitimate opportunity to do Yoon-woo a favor, which she had never thought of.


    Why didn¡¯t she think of this last night?


    She couldn¡¯t sleep for such a long time, tossing and turning¡­¡­


    ¡®What¡¯s wrong? What will you give to Yoon-woo? Expensive thing? There¡¯s alcohol, but there¡¯s no way Yoon-woo likes it because he drank last time¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    ¡®Ah¡­ ¡­ . I see, last year¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    Ji-eun remembered something and rummaged through her desk drawer.


    ================================

 Chapter 46

    Paranoid Love Affair


    Episode 46


    Last year, in January, I went on a trip to Japan for 4 days and 3 nights with friends to celebrate their college acceptance.


    I went there on the pretext of wanting to see the snowy winter scenery, but the purpose of the trip changed to shopping in the middle.


    Ji-eun walked around a little kid while looking at food shops, and she thought it would be nice to have a drink with a different snack, but she kept getting tired of her friends who only went to the shopping mall.


    Clothes, accessories, mugs, plates¡­ ¡­ .


    They looked at things she had no interest in.


    The next time onwards, Ji-eun thought that she should come with a friend who has a similar personality, and she just wanted to go back to her dorm soon, but¡­ ¡­ .


    That was until she discovered the Eastern Guri Republic.


    Ji-eun¡¯s eyes widened when she discovered the Republic of Donguri in a shopping center.


    Donguri Republic is an official store that sells Ghibli animated series character goods.


    All the things she liked were gathered there.


    A soot fairy doll that moves in response to sound, when activated, the BGM of Laputa, the castle in the sky, comes out, and the music box where the giants of Laputa move¡­ ¡­ . [ BGM: Background music ]


    ¡®Ji-eun-ah. Ji-eun?¡¯


    ¡®¡­I¡¯m enjoying this, you see. I¡¯ll stay here a little longer.¡¯


    ¡®You don¡¯t want to go around anymore? But, you can get lost easily if you go separately¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    ¡®It¡¯s okay. I will just stay here.¡¯


    ¡®Are you going to stay? Only here?¡¯


    ¡®Hmm.¡¯


    ¡®But¡­ that¡¯s a bit¡­ Aren¡¯t there so many places like that to see here (Shopping Mall)?¡¯


    ¡®I¡¯m okay. I¡¯ll just take a look around this store.¡¯


    ¡®Uh¡­¡¯


    Her friends moved away from her with a trembling and apologetic expression, but they waited for Ji-eun every time they visited the shops.


    Ji-eun has a limited budget to buy things, and she also thinks that she will never have another chance to come back, so she was contemplating what to put in her shopping cart.


    In fact, what I wanted the most was a music box, and the price was very high to match its splendid appearance.


    While I stared at it for a long time in contemplation, a wealthy-looking Chinese tourist took the music box without hesitation.


    I was frustrated, but my hesitation quickly disappeared since the most burdensome option disappeared.


    So, I put dolls, puzzle frames, keychains, postcards, cell phone cases and slippers, all possible things within my budget allowed in my shopping cart.


    However, most of such souvenirs that I bought were buried deep in the desk drawer, unopened when I reached home.


    It is because I did not want the value to be damaged due to scratches but it was cumbersome to periodically clean the accumulated dust after decorating it.


    After the excitement of my trip subsided, I even regretted spending so much money.


    But now I am rather happy.


    Because the packaging was not opened, the souvenirs had not yet lost their value as gifts.


    The problem was that there were too many gifts in the drawer.


    Class starts at 9 o¡¯clock, and I wake up at 8 o¡¯clock and haven¡¯t even washed yet.


    There was no time to carefully choose a gift.


    I couldn¡¯t give Yoon-woo a souvenir that was randomly chosen.


    Because the earrings Yoon-woo gave to me were not like that.


    It was something more than luxurious ornaments and even affirmed the meaning that I am the person as I am.


    So, if possible, I wanted to give Yoon-woo something like that; I wanted to say something that affirmed Yoon-woo as he is.


    I also wanted to see Yoon-woo, who lives with confidence and smiles often.


    And if possible, I thought it would be good if I was next to Yoon-woo who smiled like that.


    But unfortunately there was no time.


    This morning may be the last¡­


    If Hye-rim and Yoon-woo get to know each other and date, I won¡¯t be able to give presents anymore¡­


    So before that, it would be nice if I could give something to repay Yoon-woo¡¯s sincerity¡­


    Ji-eun, in a hurry, turned the drawer over and overturned it.


    The mess will be taken care of by my future self.


    Checking what I could get my hands on, I threw anything I thought was bad on the bed.


    However, unexpectedly, it didn¡¯t take a long time to decide on the gift.


    Come to think of it, the first time I met Yoon-woo at a drinking party, I remembered that Yoon-woo¡¯s favorite Ghibli movie was called Kiki¡¯s Delivery Service.


    ¡®The process in which Kiki is recognized¡­ ¡­ . Even if it¡¯s not a witch, a person named Kiki herself¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    Kiki is not loved because she is a witch.


    People love Kiki regardless of whether she is a witch or not.


    The other person¡¯s occupation, appearance, property, ability¡­


    Not the fragmented part, but the whole person¡­


    Those were the words I wanted to convey to Yoon-woo.


    Of course, I am not projecting the ideal of love like a boyfriend in a drama to Yoon-woo.


    I don¡¯t want to take Yoon-woo away from Hye-rim as a solution to my own secret inferiority complex.


    I¡¯m a grown woman and I don¡¯t want to go around bragging about my ability to get a boyfriend like this either.


    It¡¯s okay for Yoon-woo to go nowhere and stay at home.


    It¡¯s okay if Yoon-woo is poor.


    It¡¯s okay if Yoon-woo is white.


    He may also be in debt.


    No matter what Yoon-woo looks like, no matter what difficulties he has, I can accept him.


    I just wished I could just stay by his side.


    What should I do to understand Yoon-woo¡¯s heart?


    I don¡¯t seem to know what to do.


    However, there was something that came to Ji-eun¡¯s mind as a gift that could express her feelings.


    It was 8:30 by the time she got it.


    ¡°Hey¡­ This class is crazy.¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t it?¡±


    After the first period of class, Ji-eun said to Yoon-woo.


    In fact, this was the first time she had been to classical economics class.


    She couldn¡¯t come to class last week because she was busy choosing clothes to meet Yoon-woo.


    Come to think of it, she was relaxed even back then.


    She was leisurely choosing clothes¡­


    At that time, she did not know that her heart would go crazy within a few days.


    She didn¡¯t know that Yoon-woo and Hye-rim would be dating soon or not, and she was suffering from anxiety over the fact that they would be separated from her when they date.


    Before the start of the first period, Ji-eun barely arrived at the classroom.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s gift was decided sooner than expected, but I spent a lot of time washing and changing clothes.


    It was 8:56 when I arrived in the classroom, so there was no time to give Yoon-woo a present.


    But it wasn¡¯t much of a problem.


    This is because the class is conducted continuously during the second period, so a 15-minute break is given from 10:15, and the class continues until 11:45.


    So Ji-eun waits for the break, and pays attention to the class, thinking that she is going to catch up for a little bit¡­


    But, she couldn¡¯t quite understand what the professor had talked about.


    ¡°Hey, does that ppt have any meaning? If we make a ppt like that in another class and present it, it will be scorched right away. And, the grade won¡¯t even take a second, that¡¯ll be D.¡±


    Lines should not be lined up without space in ppt. [ PPT: Powerpoint ]


    It is good to write only the main points briefly in order to help the understanding of what will be explained verbally.


    But who dares to vomit (criticise) on a ppt created by a professor for an undergraduate subject?


    Anyway, the ppt of this class was very spectacular.


    Perhaps the professor just copied some classic material and pasted it as it is without editing.


    It looked like the material had not been processed other than copy and paste.


    It was long data without even a single line break, let alone for a summary.


    Why doesn¡¯t he put a little bit of space between lines¡­


    If Yoon-woo had not been able to see the contents of the ppt in printed version, he would not have been able to read it because he could not see the letters clearly.


    In fact, it was difficult to read even when I looked at the printed version.


    It was because the complicated Chinese characters I saw for the first time were engraved on them without showing how to read them in Korean.


    The requirement to take the Chinese Character Proficiency Test Level 2 in the graduation requirements has long been abolished.


    Ji-eun knew well what kind of class this was.


    And, it wouldn¡¯t be any different for other people.


    In the end, it is a class where you have no choice but to copy and follow what the professor says.


    As a proof of that, most of the students brought their laptops and followed closely what the professor was saying.


    If not, some lazy students were doing other things with their cell phones or were distracted.


    If there was an exception, it was Yoon-woo.


    ¡°Yoon-woo¡­ ¡­ . How the hell are you writing this? Isn¡¯t it a bit strange of you to even understand what the professor is saying? I can¡¯t even understand¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    For some reason, the classical economics professor had a habit of trying to say a very long sentence at once without a break.


    But then he got out of breath and his voice got smaller and smaller, and his pronunciation was muffled, so I couldn¡¯t understand what was being said along the way.


    I think it will be more comfortable for him and his students if he takes a breath while speaking.


    ¡°Once you get used to it, it has its own flow, so you can roughly understand what it means.¡±


    ¡°Is there even a flow in this class? I guess you¡¯re just talking and answering in your stream of consciousness? You mentioned earlier when you were in college, you even did questions and answers with student ID and credit card? That sounds good.¡±


    ¡°There is a real flow¡­Doesn¡¯t Gogopas have a genealogy for this class? Choose 3 out of 6 essay questions and answer them¡­The problem changes every year, but the content of the class is the same, so if you listen to the professor¡¯s question while thinking that you are creating an answer to that question, you can understand what that professor is trying to say.¡±


    ¡°Wow¡­ I¡­If this is such a class, I have no answer¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. Haven¡¯t I just organized them all by topic? So, you can write the answer just by memorizing it¡­You can even just read them casually and take the exam. It¡¯s a class with a lot of unimportant parts, so if you summarize the main points, surprisingly, there are only a few pages on A4 paper.¡±


    ¡°¡­Would it be okay if you just give it to me? Didn¡¯t you just go through this crazy class and put it together so painstakingly?¡±


    ¡°Won¡¯t I have to give it to you? Didn¡¯t noona buy me lamb skewers before?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think this is going to work¡­Even if you sell the prepared ones, wouldn¡¯t you eat the lamb skewers twice?¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s okay. Noona always cared about this and that.¡±


    ¡°¡­Where did I?¡±


    ¡°Just in many ways¡­¡±


    ¡°Many ways¡­what? But, I guess I haven¡¯t really done anything¡­¡±


    ¡°What?¡­ There¡¯s¡­ . I got drunk at noona¡¯s house¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Is that something so wrong? To be honest, I think I did something more wrong¡­Besides, just two days ago, I was incomparable to that. I could even win an actress award¡­¡±


    ¡°It didn¡¯t matter that much. it¡¯s okay.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not a big deal, but you didn¡¯t even sleep enough¡­ Ah, I¡¯m a senior and I haven¡¯t done anything beneficial to you¡­It just pains me.¡±


    ¡°No, you did a lot of things.¡±


    ¡°What is it? Anything else other than drinking and talking about something?¡±


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you even buy me chicken and take me to a movie?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing¡­You bought the Oreo shake too, right? Even just this handwriting will offset it and overflow it, won¡¯t it? Besides, the earrings¡­ To tell you the truth¡­Ah¡­¡±


    ¡°Sharing notes is something I am doing with you willingly. I¡¯m organizing the notes by myself anyway. And, earrings are an apology for my mistakes¡­ What noona did while drinking was really nothing.¡±


    ¡°That is¡­No, it wouldn¡¯t be¡­¡±


    ¡°And besides that¡­You keep hanging out with me like this. And, you talk well to girls like Sae-byeol¡­¡±


    ¡°Uh? Hey, that¡¯s¡­¡±


    ¡°Uh? The professor is coming.¡±


    ¡°what? Isn¡¯t 15 minutes over yet?¡±


    ¡°Sometimes, the professor just starts before the break ends and starts talking if he thinks the students are sitting around and chatting when he comes in after smoking.¡±


    ¡°What? That¡¯s crazy¡­¡±


    ¡°So, it ends a little earlier.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­¡±


    It¡¯s a class I don¡¯t really like.


    I was talking with Yoon-woo, but the professor came in quickly, so I couldn¡¯t even give Yoon-woo what I had prepared.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s words¡­


    It was really weird.


    He was overly grateful and apologetic for what he had received from others, but he seemed to think of the value of what he had given to others like dust.


    If I hadn¡¯t seen Yoon-woo intoxicated from drinking before, I might have thought he was just too modest.


    However, in the truth of Yoon-woo that I grasped, he really seemed to think that way.


    So, does he think that I am doing him a favor by getting along with him?


    That¡¯s absolutely not¡­


    It¡¯s because I like being with him¡­


    I don¡¯t know what made Yoon-woo say that.


    Is his family in trouble? But he stays alone.


    And as she knows¡­So is Hyerim.


    Even if there were problems in the family, many people would surely like Yoon-woo if it was Yoon-woo¡¯s appearance and personality.


    But if he lives like that¡­


    If humans are compared to functions, the number and degree of the terms will all be different.


    So, even if the same experience is input as a variable, there is no guarantee that the same value will come as an output.


    That¡¯s why you can¡¯t set your own standards based on others.


    If so, what¡¯s wrong with Yoon-woo? Is he a function that only extracts negative numbers no matter what variable is input?


    It is absurd to assume that no positive variables have been input in Yoon-woo¡¯s life.


    That¡¯s unlikely.


    The problem is highly likely to be him, himself.


    If you think about it, what Yoon-woo said about Sae-byeol, who flirts with him at a drinking party, was also a surprise.


    Sae-byeol really wants to take Yoon-woo and play with him, but Yoon-woo is timid to Sae-byeol¡¯s actions, judging her with the thoughts from his twisted thought circuit.


    If that is the case, maybe Yoon-woo is also seeing me from that perspective.


    Both the meaning of my actions and his intentions were distorted to his own will¡­


    That¡¯s not okay.


    If Yoon-woo likes Hye-rim, I can accept it is inevitable.


    But as Hye-rim said, what would he do with people¡¯s hearts if he thinks like that?


    So, even if he can¡¯t accept my feelings, I hope he can understand and acknowledge my feelings no matter how sad and pitiful they are.


    And, I hope that my feelings will be respected as it is.


    However, if Yoon-woo twists that at will, repaints it at will, and accepts it as something ugly and hypocritical, then he will reject me without even knowing the person named Ji-eun properly.


    Even Yoon-woo may not want to meet me anymore.


    Even if we eat together, take classes together, and walk the streets together, the me that Yoon-woo meets is not a me that actually exists in this world, but a monster in the shape of a me that has been transformed through his perspective¡­


    Does Yoon-woo know how cruel his thoughts are?


    Maybe Yoon-woo has never looked at me as me!


    Thinking about that made my stomach churn.


    So, Ji-eun grabbed Yoon-woo before he was about to get up after class.


    ¡°Yoon-woo, sit down for a second.¡±


    ¡°Uh? Why?¡±


    ¡°Just a minute¡­I missed some points¡­¡±


    ¡°What? What do you want to ask me about the lecture?¡±


    ¡°Huh.¡±


    It was a lie. I didn¡¯t even listen to class.


    The sound of people pushing their chairs roughly was loud; people were closing their laptops and standing up in a hurry.


    Whether it was because they had lunch plans or because they wanted to go home as soon as possible, people quickly left the classroom.


    The class ended 8 minutes early, so there was plenty of time to tell Yoon-woo what she wanted before going to Hye-rim¡¯s house.


    ¡°So¡­what is it? For today¡¯s part¡­Spectators¡¯ economic policy¡­¡±


    ¡°There, Yoon-woo. Actually, I have something as a gift to give you.¡±


    ¡°Huh? Gift? What gift?¡±


    ¡°This¡­¡±


    What she took out of the bag was a keychain with a cute black cat, Gigi, on it.


    ¡°Uh¡­It¡¯s cute. But, why?¡±


    ¡°Why, you gave me earrings too even though I drank and I messed up¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s really¡­¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t talk, just take it. I¡¯ll feel comfortable if you receive it well.¡±


    ¡°Okay¡­ thanks.¡±


    ¡°If possible¡­ Aren¡¯t you going to pin it?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­But I don¡¯t have a key?¡±


    ¡°It can be worn anywhere as long as you have something like a ring. Can¡¯t you put it on your bag, the end of your bag¡¯s zipper¡­ ¡±


    ¡°Oh yes. Then, I will put it on my bag.¡±


    Yoon-woo listened to Ji-eun and meekly put the keychain on the zipper of the bag.


    Seeing the waving black cat, Ji-eun smiled contentedly.


    Still, she hadn¡¯t calmed down.


    As much as Yoon-woo looks lovely with the key ring she gave as a gift, she also hated the possibility that he might accept even her present by misinterpreting it.


    ¡°Hey, Yoon-woo¡­ What I said earlier¡­¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°You say I¡¯m hanging out with you is like me doing a favor to you ¡­ If you say it like that, I feel a little embarrassed.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    ¡°Do you know why I¡¯m upset and what you¡¯re sorry for?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Perhaps embarrassed by Ji-eun¡¯s words, Yoon-woo quickly blinked his eyes and bowed his head.


    It was as if he was looking for words to say hard as his eyes were moving down.


    He looks like a really good kid¡­


    When you look at him like this, he looks really stupid.


    ¡°Uhh¡­So, why do you apologize first if you don¡¯t know what you¡¯re sorry about?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­ Ah, that¡¯s¡­¡±


    ¡®You stupid bastard¡­¡¯ Ji-eun thought to herself.


    Seeing Yoon-woo, who habitually apologized and was embarrassed, Ji-eun felt like a fool trying to be angry with a child.


    Like when he was drunk, there were times when Yoon-woo felt much younger than his age.


    It¡¯s absurd to yell at a child who doesn¡¯t even know what he¡¯s done wrong.


    So Ji-eun quietly stared at Yoon-woo.


    ¡°Yoon-woo¡­I think it¡¯s fun to be with you and I think we¡¯re close, so that¡¯s why we¡¯re together like this¡­Why do you say I¡¯m doing a favor to you when I get along well with you just because I like it? ¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ I just said that because Noona thanked me¡­ ¡±


    ¡°Then, thank you too, for getting along with me.¡±


    ¡°Uh? But, I am the one who¡¯s getting along with noona¡­ ¡±


    ¡°Look, isn¡¯t there something strange about you?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°Just because we get along together, isn¡¯t it weird to say that you did that as a favor? It¡¯s not about providing or receiving services to each other. I mean, we¡¯re close friends. When you say that, it seems like we¡¯re distant and it makes an awkward relationship between us.¡±


    ¡°A close friend¡­?¡±


    ¡°Aren¡¯t we good friends? Don¡¯t you think so? I am really, really sad.¡±


    ¡°Oh no, I think so too.¡±


    ¡°Huh¡­Then, I¡¯m glad. So don¡¯t you say anything sad like that now? Understand?¡±


    ¡°Hmm¡­ ¡±


    The story that Ji-eun wanted to tell ended with this, but Yoon-woo did not wake up and thought deeply about something, and then he asked Ji-eun.


    ¡°But there is something, noona.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°If it¡­ Had it not been for Hye-rim, would we have been like this? Without Hye-rim¡­ If Hye-rim didn¡¯t invite Noona to the drinking party¡­¡±


    ¡°Then, of course not. We wouldn¡¯t have gotten to know each other, so maybe we got to know each other somehow later?¡±


    ¡°¡­I see.¡±


    ¡®If it wasn¡¯t for Hye-rim¡­ Feeling disgusted with herself for having such thoughts, Ji-eun grabbed her bag and got up from her seat.


    ================================

 Chapter 47

    Paranoid Love Affair


    Episode 47


    =================================


    ¡°Noona.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Thanks.¡±


    ¡°What else this time?¡±


    ¡°¡­I mean ¡­ This keychain. I really like cats.¡±


    Leaving the classroom and heading to Hye-rim¡¯s house, Yoon-woo repeated the words of thanks again.


    I was wary at the words of thanks coming out of Yoon-woo¡¯s mouth.


    It was because I was worried that none of my words might have been passed on to Yoon-woo with my original intentions.


    Fortunately, the words that came out of Yoon-woo¡¯s mouth were not like that.


    But something was strange.


    The atmosphere was eerie. Yoon-woo¡¯s attitude toward me was clearly different from before taking the class.


    If someone doesn¡¯t know Yoon-woo, they will likely say that they don¡¯t know what has changed .


    Same gloomy expressionless expression and the same quiet and dull tone, what the heck is different from usual¡­


    But I was certain.


    It wasn¡¯t an illusion.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s expression looking at me had a warmth that I had never seen before on his face.


    He was still expressionless, but he was normally expressionless like he was holding back his tears, now he was expressionless like he was holding back his smile.


    So was the change of conversation.


    In fact, there was a part where Yoon-woo¡¯s usual way of speaking secretly scratched my nerves.


    But, like before, it was not possible for me to point out that ¡®I don¡¯t like this or that part¡¯.


    Those cold, sharp thorns hidden in the words of humility.


    ¡®Don¡¯t fall over, this is my seat.¡¯


    When I was in elementary school, when I sat down with my partner at a long desk, there were children who divided their own respective territories by drawing a line in the middle of the desk with the colors.


    If you think about it, it¡¯s pretty useless.


    Do I still have to draw a line in the middle of the desk to know if this is the other person¡¯s seat and this is mine?


    Those who guard the territory do well even when there is no line, and those who want to invade the territory and cross the line regardless of whether there is a line or not.


    But there are some vague parts.


    For example, in the middle of the desk, an eraser that barely crosses the boundary of the area, the elbow that slightly crosses the line when you fall asleep on the desk¡­ ¡­ .


    I think a relationship that comfortably tolerates such things between two people is an intimate relationship.


    There are people who beat other people¡¯s hands with an iron hammer even if they slightly crossed that line, but Yoon-woo is not like that.


    Rather, he is a human being who cannot say anything even if someone has crossed a large part of his area.


    But for some reason, Yoon-woo was still madly obsessed with drawing a line in the middle of the desk.


    If the person you think you¡¯ve become close with, and the person you want to get to know more with, is drawing a line with a knife in the middle of a desk, there¡¯s no way Ji-eun will feel at ease when she sees the ugly line that had been drawn.


    Even when the three of us ate in a friendly way, when I saw Yoon-woo continuously drawing a line, I always wanted to shout out to him to stop¡­


    But, still, it wasn¡¯t today.


    ¡°Noona? What¡¯s the matter?¡±


    ¡°Uh, huh? What, what is it?¡±


    ¡°You keep looking at the ground and walking. You have to look ahead. If you fall like last time¡­¡±


    ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll be careful¡­¡±


    ¡°Perhaps, are you feeling unwell?¡±


    ¡°No! I¡¯m fine¡­¡±


    ¡®Is my face red? Ah¡­We will get there soon. Wasn¡¯t it 3 minutes to Hye-rim¡¯s house?¡¯


    Such was the distance from the main gate of the university to the entrance of Hye-rim¡¯s room.


    However, it took more than 10 minutes to walk down the stairs in the classroom and to wait for the elevator at the building in which Hye-rim¡¯s home was located.


    My face felt hot.


    Yoon-woo was really different from usual.


    There was more concrete evidence than the facial expressions or tone of voice.


    It was his gaze.


    It was difficult to look into Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes.


    When our eyes met, Yoon-woo quickly avoided my gaze.


    It was the same when we were talking to each other.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s gaze was always facing downwards.


    Even now, his gaze was looking downwards.


    However, the completely different thing from usual was that even though Yoon-woo and Ji-eun were walking side by side, they were both doing it together.


    From the moment she left the classroom, Ji-eun raised her head to make eye contact with Yoon-woo.


    Strangely, he was walking while looking at Ji-eun¡¯s face at that time.


    ¡°That¡­ Hey, Yoon-woo?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Excuse me¡­  Why were you looking at me like that before?¡±


    ¡°Uh? Oh, sorry¡­ ¡±


    ¡°Nope! It¡¯s not bad¡­ I¡¯m just curious¡­¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ Actually¡­¡±


    ¡°What? What¡¯s wrong with my face? Is there anything else? But, I didn¡¯t eat anything before the class¡­¡±


    Come to think of it, it seems that Yoon-woo¡¯s gaze was on my own lips. So, Ji-eun hurriedly rubbed her lips with her hand.


    But nothing came out.


    ¡°No, not that¡­ Actually, Noona and I have a bit of a height difference¡­Isn¡¯t that right?¡±


    ¡°Just a little bit¡­ You can just say it comfortably. I don¡¯t mind it. But why?¡±


    ¡°So if you just look in front and walk, I won¡¯t be able to hear what noona is saying¡­ As I try to listen well, my gaze naturally¡­¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­¡±


    ¡°So you were looking at my mouth?¡±


    ¡®You¡¯re so focused on what I¡¯m talking about¡­uhh¡­¡¯


    ¡®Uh? But wait¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    ¡°Hey, isn¡¯t it weird? Did you usually walk while looking at me like this?¡±


    ¡°Well¡­Normally¡­¡±


    ¡°So, normally¡­ You can¡¯t hear me well, but you just pretended to listen and jotted?¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°You bastard¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    Thinking about it, I understood.


    I am happy now because he was happy.


    This is also because Yoon-woo felt much more friendly than usual.


    I don¡¯t know what triggered him, but when Yoon-woo was talking with me, he was no longer looking at the line on the desk, but at my face.


    What did that cat¡¯s key ring swaying in Yoon-woo¡¯s bag do?


    However, Yoon-woo seemed to have no idea what I was thinking of when I gave him that key ring.


    Because I also said that I like cats.


    Yoon-woo didn¡¯t seem to know at all that the black cat¡¯s name was Jiji.


    Jiji is always on Kiki¡¯s side no matter what.


    Even though Kiki loses all her witch powers, and Jiji¡¯s voice can only be heard in Kiki¡¯s ears as the cry of a cat, Jiji does not leave Kiki. Whether Kiki is good at her job or not, whether she is a witch or not, it doesn¡¯t matter to Jiji.


    A black cat for a witch.


    Although it looks like a mascot character that was introduced to highlight the image of a traditional witch, Jiji is not just a workhorse.


    Jiji isn¡¯t the one who likes only the part where she¡¯s a witch in Kiki.


    She won¡¯t like only one part of Kiki even if the parts break down into pieces.


    She just likes Kiki.


    So, Kiki would have known too.


    Even if Jiji¡¯s voice had now sounded nothing but a meow to her, she would¡¯ve known Jiji was saying something to her.


    In fact, Ji-eun in the morning didn¡¯t just choose a present for Yun-woo.


    She even changed her own cell phone case.


    On her changed cell phone case, there was a picture of Kiki and Jiji sitting together on the moon.


    I don¡¯t know if the target I am migrating to is Kiki, or Jiji.


    In fact, at the end of the movie, Jiji starts a happy family with a white cat.


    Still, of course, Jiji is by Kiki¡¯s side.


    She may be a cat with a servile heart.


    However, her thoughts about anime had progressed to that point.


    Whether Yoon-woo dates Hye-rim or someone else and starts a family¡­ ¡­ .


    Even if he became like that, I was thinking that I would like to be like a Kiki or Jiji to him.


    But maybe Hye-rim, who is quick-witted, can see my intentions by looking at the Jiji key ring on Yoon-woo¡¯s bag and the changed phone case of mine?


    Ji-eun had such a thought when she arrived at Hye-rim¡¯s house, and she was so nervous that she was holding her phone tightly so that the back of her phone could not be seen.


    She was kind of worried.


    But, Hye-rim was noticeably excited about her tomorrow¡¯s promise.


    ¡°Yoon-woo. Are you good at scary things?¡±


    ¡°Huh? What do you mean by good at scary things?¡±


    ¡°That¡­ For example, when a scary or startling scene comes up, can you keep looking straight ahead without covering your eyes or turning your head?¡±


    ¡°Oh, you mean ¡®look¡¯. If it¡¯s too bad, I press pause and watch it again, but the movie theater won¡¯t do that¡­I¡¯ve never seen it in a movie theater, so I¡¯m a little nervous.¡±


    ¡°So¡­ Wouldn¡¯t it be less scary if the two of us were together?¡±


    ¡°Is that so?¡±


    ¡°Then, it¡¯s decided! If you are too scared in the middle of watching, you can hold my hand and watch.¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s okay. I can¡­¡±


    ¡°Then, if I¡¯m too scared to see the scene, can I hold your hand?¡±


    ¡°Uh, huh?¡±


    ¡°No? Is it no?¡±


    ¡°Oh, no, of course not¡­ Do whatever you want.¡±


    ¡°¡­ ¡­ .¡±


    ¡®Hye-rim, you¡¯re so blatant¡­ Did you forget I¡¯m sitting here too?¡¯


    I know it¡¯s not with bad intentions. That¡¯s what she¡¯s looking forward to doing.


    I couldn¡¯t imagine the men who were coldly kicked by Hye-rim, but in fact, she is a person who is innocent and child-like on the inside.


    She doesn¡¯t like anyone or dislikes anyone.


    However¡­ Even so, won¡¯t it seem too obvious to do that to him?


    Won¡¯t Yoon-woo notice that enough?


    Yoon-woo said that it is definitely good to have someone who likes him.


    He also offered the condition that he would like that person to be a person similar to him, in order to have the belief that the other person would not leave him.


    But if you think about it, there is no need to renew such a condition for Hye-rim, right?


    Hasn¡¯t it already been 10 years since Hye-rim liked Yoon-woo?


    It is said that she is hiding the fact because she failed to resolve her childhood misunderstanding with him. And, she only needs to resolve the misunderstanding.


    No matter how hard someone works, even if someone claims that they really like you and that they can affirm all aspects of you, can you convince Yoon-woo that she (someone) will continue to like him more than Hye-rim, who has only thought of him for 10 years?


    If you think like that, Hye-rim was in a better position to win Yoon-woo¡¯s heart than anyone else.


    There are applicants lining up to win Yoon-woo¡¯s heart, but a newcomer with experience appears between them.


    Besides, 10 years of experience!


    It felt complicated.


    Ji-eun is getting increasingly uncomfortable being in the same room with Hye-rim and Yoon-woo.


    It has been decided.


    Now, I am an uninvited guest.


    I felt like I am a friend who wants to eat at the newlyweds¡¯ house.


    I seem to have bipolar disorder.


    Looking into Yoon-woo¡¯s eyes and talking privately with him, I was thrilled and happy when I walked up to here, but now¡­


    Ji-eun is working hard to manage her expression so as not to have a pout face and not to look depressed, but for some reason, Yoon-woo suddenly asked Ji-eun.


    ¡°But, Ji-eun¡¯s noona¡­Is it really not okay tomorrow?¡±


    ¡°Uh? me?¡±


    It was really unexpected.


    This is because Yoon-woo is good at answering other people¡¯s words and is also good at joking around, but he¡¯s not good at opening his mouth and talking to someone first.


    ¡°Hmm.¡±


    ¡°That, I¡­ I can¡¯t really see anything scary.¡±


    ¡°As Hye-rim said, wouldn¡¯t it be less scary to see it together?¡±


    ¡®Why is he doing this all of a sudden? Why all of today, really¡­¡¯


    It was the first time that Yoon-woo strongly recommended this.


    Is it really thanks to my support?


    Yoon-woo¡¯s attitude toward me was as friendly as ever before.


    I should pretend not to win him, and fall for his words, put a plate on my face and went to watch a movie together.


    Before such thoughts could flow out of her mouth, Ji-eun quickly spit out what she should have said.


    ¡°No. Even if we go together, I¡­ I really don¡¯t want to see anything cruel. You guys just go by yourselves.¡±


    Actually, that wasn¡¯t the problem for me.


    The content of the movie was pretty good.


    It didn¡¯t matter as long as Yoon-woo was with me even if he showed a documentary about the ecology of centipedes in a movie theater and showed the squeaky scenes of the jingling centipedes for 1 hour and 50 minutes.


    The problem was Hye-rim.


    ¡®Unnie, why don¡¯t you just go with us? I¡¯m sorry that we had dinner together before, but I¡¯m sure Unnie would want to watch a movie with Yoon-woo too¡­¡¯


    It was yesterday evening that Hye-rim talked like that on the phone.


    ¡®Why all of a sudden? Didn¡¯t you want to go on a date with Yoon-woo?¡¯


    ¡®But a little¡­Because lying seems disrespectful.¡¯


    ¡®Lie? What¡¯s a lie?¡¯


    ¡®It¡¯s a lie to say that I really want to see that horror movie, and also that I didn¡¯t want to see it with Unnie.¡¯


    ¡®I really hate cruel things.¡¯


    ¡®Still, if I insisted you come see me because I was scared, you would have gone with me, wouldn¡¯t you?¡¯


    ¡®¡­Don¡¯t worry about it. I¡¯m fine. Find someone to drink with and play with sometimes, and you¡¯ll have a good time. Have a good time, you two.¡¯


    ¡®Okay. You should also drink in moderation this friday, right?¡¯


    ¡®Of course.¡¯


    I had no intention of drinking.


    I just felt weird.


    I intervened between Hye-rim and Yoon-woo, and I spent time with Yoon-woo several times without Hye-rim.


    Only the two of us drank together, slept in the same bed, went to a coin karaoke room, took a walk, and I even broke into his room to sleep.


    However, instead of being jealous of me or getting angry at my actions, Hye-rim is rather concerned about my heart.


    She said it was disrespectful to lie¡­


    It wasn¡¯t because of my pride that I couldn¡¯t lose Yoon-woo to her.


    It¡¯s because Hye-rim is a really nice and pure person, and she respects other people¡¯s feelings.


    There, I could say, ¡®Yeah? Then, shall I go too?¡¯ But, I was not brave enough to say it.


    These days, I¡¯m already starting to think that I¡¯m the only one out of these three people who has trashy personality,


    Yoon-woo and Hye-rim were too busy taking care of each other, but in the meantime, only I seemed to be taking care of my own greed.


    Hy-rim said she respected Yoon-woo¡¯s heart.


    She didn¡¯t seem like the me who would hesitate, she herself could easily do that.


    Oppositely, if she¡¯s convinced that she can make Yoon-woo fall in love with her by devising some disgraceful and evil scheme, will he be able to withstand her seduction?


    But still, she was far more inclined to abhor the filthy self than to follow the temptation route.


    ¡°I don¡¯t like that¡­ I can see things like Paranormal Activity. It¡¯s scary, but it¡¯s not cruel¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh, that was fun. I like that too.¡±


    ¡°Then, next time¡­ When a horror movie that isn¡¯t so cruel and scary is released, let¡¯s go see it together¡­three of us.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    In answering that, Yoon-woo¡¯s face seemed to have a slight smile on it.


    Thinking that that smile was directed at her, Ji-eun¡¯s mind became more frustrated.


    ¡°It¡¯s early, would you like to stop by a cafe?¡±


    When the table was finished, Hye-rim asked.


    ¡°I¡­I¡¯ll go first.¡±


    Saying that, Yoon-woo rejected Hye-rim¡¯s offer.


    ¡°It¡¯s only 12:40 pm, are you leaving already, Yoon-woo?¡± Hye-rim asked.


    ¡°Huh? I have to go to the hospital today, and there is an economics and math quiz. I¡¯m going to go back and review what I¡¯ve learned so far.¡±


    ¡°Oh? If that¡¯s the case, you don¡¯t have to help me organize the notes and go first¡­¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s okay.¡±


    Ji-eun knew that Yoon-woo was busy on Fridays.


    As for what Yoon-woo was thinking when he made the timetable like that, she didn¡¯t think about it clearly.


    The class starts at 2pm and ends at 4:45pm.


    But it was the first time he was told he had to go to the hospital¡­ ¡­ .


    Hye-rim seemed to know what it was.


    ¡°Hospital? What hospital? Where did Yoon-woo get hurt?¡±


    Ji-eun asked Yoon-woo.


    ¡°That¡­ There is a hospital I usually go to¡­ I¡¯ll tell you later.¡±


    ¡°Uh? Huh¡­¡±


    In fact, just imagining Hye-rim and Yoon-woo eating a sandwich together made Ji-eun feel miserable.


    And, there was a secret they shared between them that she didn¡¯t know of¡­


    She thought Yoon-woo had become more friendly to her, but he didn¡¯t tell her what hospital he was going to¡­


    If she thought soberly, of course she would know that he was in a hurry because he didn¡¯t have time for the economics and math quiz, but the mind precedes the thoughts.


    Ji-eun, impatient with her sad and frustrated heart, spoke to Yoon-woo, who was wearing his shoes.


    ¡°Excuse me! Yoon-woo!¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°That¡­ I¡¯m confident in economics and math. I attended last year and got A+. Professor Kim¡¯s class, right?¡±


    ¡°Did you get this by A+? Professor Kim¡¯s class was even more difficult to understand because he is strict¡­ That¡¯s great.¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t it? So, if you don¡¯t know anything, feel free to ask. I took a lot of statistics classes, so I¡¯m confident in that. Because you helped me a lot too¡­¡±


    ¡°Thanks. Still, things that were difficult to understand were starting to come out.¡±


    ¡°After all, if I go to another class, I only use the derivative, and the class is difficult for nothing.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯ll be good to ask. If there¡¯s anything I don¡¯t know later, I¡¯ll ask.¡±


    ¡°Okay! Ask me anytime!¡±


    ¡°Hmm. Bye. See you later.¡±


    ¡°Uh? Wait¡­¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°No,no¡­See you later.¡±


    The Jiji keyring was not visible from the bag Yoon-woo was carrying on his back.


    Seeing that only the chain part of the key holder was visible, it was probably hidden in the bag in the process of opening and closing the zipper.


    That fact alone made Ji-eun depressed.


    Even though Jiji was married, she continued to stay with Kiki and was supportive of her.


    That¡¯s how Ji-eun put her heart (thought) in the key ring.


    But, that¡¯s just her own wish.


    Considering the relationship between Ji-eun and Yoon-woo, Yoon-woo may see it by a completely different meaning.


    ¡°Unnie?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Why are you so dazed?¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ Nope.¡±


    ¡°Then, are you in pain?¡±


    ¡°No. I¡¯m fine.¡±


    ¡°Then, why don¡¯t we go to a cafe and have a cup of coffee?¡±


    ¡°¡­ Nope. I just want to go home and lie down.¡±


    ¡°Okay? Well¡­ sure. But, are you sure you are not really sick?¡±


    ¡°Hmm, I¡¯m not.¡±


    The truth is, she didn¡¯t want to be with Hye-rim.


    She didn¡¯t want to face Hye-rim who was pure and good, nor did she want to think badly about her.


    She wanted to forget everything and go to sleep.


    So Ji-eun grabbed her bag and put on her shoes.


    ¡°Unnie.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Are you coming in the evening?¡±


    ¡°¡­ Uhh.¡±


    Whether she is quick-witted or has a sixth sense, Hye-rim is strangely aware of the subtle hints of her.


    Ji-eun was looking for an excuse not to come here in the evening.


    Because she doesn¡¯t want to see the excited Hye-rim¡­ ¡­ .


    Ji-eun¡¯s expression was depressing.


    When I took out the cell phone, there were four messages, one from the senior, two from the classmate, and one from the junior.


    Ji-eun postponed replying to the messages and clicked on Yoon-woo¡¯s profile picture.


    Yoon-woo¡¯s profile picture was a basic picture with nothing.


    She clicked a one-on-one chat with Yoon-woo, rereading each conversation she had on Wednesday, one by one.


    Still, she didn¡¯t feel better.


    Looking at it before, I couldn¡¯t stop smiling, but right now, it looked like I was about to cry.


    If Yoon-woo says these pretty words not because he has a crush on me, but because of his personality, wouldn¡¯t he say these things to Hye-rim as well?


    If I am a person who was nothing special to Yoon-woo¡­


    The thought made her feel worse than before she pulled out her cell phone.


    I missed Yoon-woo¡¯s warm embrace.


    I missed that soft voice.


    No matter what scheme I devised, I wanted to lie in Yoon-woo¡¯s arms again and fall asleep while holding Yoon-woo¡¯s arm tightly.


    In that state, I hope Yoon-woo whispers pretty words to me with that voice.


    Until I fall asleep¡­


    But, perhaps, such an opportunity may never come.


    In my imagination, Hye-rim will take all the places where I was.


    Touching Yoon-woo¡¯s body and hearing Yoon-woo¡¯s voice in her ears will all become Hye-rim.


    The traffic signal changed several times, but Ji-eun did not cross the intersection.


    She looked so lonely and pitiful that even the fact that she was standing alone at the crossroads made her sad.


    She stood still and wept over a long time, while continuing to fiddle with her earrings.


    The Yoon-woo that Ji-eun can feel now may not be 36.5 degrees Celsius anymore.


    [ T/N: The normal human¡¯s body temperature is between 36.5¡¯C to 37.5C. But, considering the meaning of context, I think she wanted to mean that he¡¯s not alive anymore meaning the person she is holding now is dead. ]


    It may be only alive to Hye-rim.


    Ji-eun may have to live in that spacious lecture hall, where it was suffocating with people¡¯s breath, looking for the faintly mixed breath of Yoon-woo.


    When Hye-rim and Yoon-woo are mouth-to-mouth and directly exchanging their breaths!


    If it was going to happen anyway, I would not have returned the coat.


    I hugged it tightly and put it down on Yoon-woo¡¯s bed.


    I even thought I¡¯d lie down for a while on it.


    If it was impossible for me to come into contact with Yoon-woo directly, if only indirect means were left for me to come into contact with Yoon-woo, I wanted to have something in which Yoon-woo¡¯s presence remained.


    ¡®¡­ Uh? Wait a minute. A thing?¡¯


    ¡®Yoon-woo is definitely in class until 5pm today¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


    ¡®And, I know his house password¡­ ¡­ .¡¯


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