《Life After the Storm》 chapter 1 chapter 1 As I hear my rm going off, I''m super excited today is my 18th birthday oh and my twin brother''s birthday. I hop out of my bed and run over to my brother''s room just to be a pain in his ass. I jump on his bed until he wakes up. As he puts his covers over his head, I start singing to him. ¡°Happy birthday to you happy birthday to you today is the day we finally can meet are matese on get up.¡± ¡°Get out of my room before I kill you.¡± ¡°Really, that isn''t nice to say, especially when you would be lost without me.¡± ¡°Maybe not I wouldn''t have someone jumping on my bed waking me up.¡± My parents then walked into my brother''s room with a cake singing to us, I couldn''t help but tough when my parents brought the cake in to his bedroom. ¡°Aww, thank you guys so much you are so sweet we are so lucky to have you as our parents.¡± ¡°My mom looks at me ok what do you want Lilly?¡± ¡°Can we skip school today and go to Wicked Falls.¡±? My momughs ¡°absolutely not now get ready for school I am going to start your breakfast.¡± ¡°Come on mommy don''t make me beg please.¡± ¡°No, you guys can go to school. We will head up after you two get home your dad will be home too since he is getting off work early.¡± ¡°Fine, I guess that will be fine.¡± ¡°Get out of my room. So, I can get ready god you people are annoying in the morning.¡± I jump off my brother''s bed and give him a big kiss on the cheek. I ran into my room to get dressed for today. I want to look my very best just in case I actually meet my mate at school. I can''t believe it today is finally the day. My brother has always had a crush on Jenny from school. It would be shocking if she would be his mate even though we do not get along at all but I would be so happy for him since he had a crush on her for like ever. We will be officially a part of the Night Walker Pack this month. They hold monthly meetings for the higher ranks, but if there are wolves that turn of age, they will be announced and weed into the pack. My family, we are low ranked, so we don''t have to attend every meeting, thank God. There are not that many packs in ska; we live in a little town called Bear Run. I couldn''t ever imagine leaving. I love it here. It is the most beautiful ce I have ever seen, always snow covered and not too cold , just the right weather every day. It''s most beautiful at night with the Northern Stars. It''s like you would imagine heaven to be like. I get into the shower to freshen up. Wanting to look my very best today. Iugh to myself as I try to fix my hair. I am not really the fashion type of girl. So, I called my mom to help make some curls in my hair to make me look a little more presentable today. ¡°Mom,¡± I yell downstairs ¡°can you please put some curls in my hair please?¡± Most people say that my mom, and are like twins, we look so much alike. My mom''s hair is shorter than mine, she doesn''t like her hair as long as I do. ¡°Lilly I''m cooking breakfast just hold on I''ll see if dad can finish breakfast, and I''ll be right up sweetheart.¡± ¡°Thanks, I''ll be waiting love you so much.¡± I get into my closet oh God, what the hell am I going to wear. I don''t want to be rejected, I want to look beautiful. I can''t take all this pressure, I sit on my bed and just start to cry. I can''t handle this damn it. ¡°Lilly what is going on with you why are you crying?¡± ¡°Mom, I''m just freaking out what if I get rejected.¡± Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Baby girl, you will not get rejected whoever is your mate will love you endlessly.¡± I put my head on her shoulder as I began to quit crying, having her close to makes me feel secure. ¡°Ok now get off this bed and get dressed, so you cane downstairs and eat your breakfast.¡± She kisses me on my forehead ¡°thanks mom, I love you.¡± ¡°Honey, do you still want curls?¡± ¡°No I''ll go all natural.¡± I find an oversized sweatshirt which is my favorite color purple, some ck leggings I get dressed in, I just prefer beingfortable, I brush my teeth and my long brown hair as I look into the mirror. Looking at my reflection hoping that I''m beautiful enough for my mate. As I am walking down the stairs, the smell of bacon hits my nose. My stomach growls to the smell yum I can''t wait to get some. I go down to the bottom of the steps my brother barges into me, so I put my foot out and trip his ass. Iugh then he grabs my foot and falls to the ground stillughing. We both get up and rush to the table to grab breakfast. ¡° Mom, this is so freaking delicious you are such an amazing cook.¡± My dad cuts in, ¡°Hey I helped her make it, so I think that I am the better cook.¡± heughs what ¡°Ok dad I bet that you made all of this. I start tough knowing he is joking. ¡°I don''t care who made it''s freaking delicious,¡± my brother says with a month full. I love days like these, full of jokes andughter. Nothing could ever break us apart, we are just that close we really have always been. The conversation stops while everyone is enjoying our birthday breakfast. I look around at my family knowing that today I find my mate hoping that it won''t change anything. That we will stay close to each other no matter what, even if we don''t live together. As I''m in a daze, I feel a p on my shoulder. ¡°Quit daydreaming Lilly we need to leave for school now, or we will bete let go.¡± ¡°I''ming Landon geez you didn''t have to hit me so hard.¡± I get up from the breakfast table to go gather my things for school. I grab my book bag and my lunch that my mother prepared. You know she still puts little notes in our lunch every day. My brother thinks it''s childish, but I think it''s hard warming. I ran out to the car to get in and of course my brother''s up front. He always sits up front. I just let him who cares, really. On the way to school it is quiet. I''m so nervous about what is about to happen, finding my mate hoping he doesn''t reject me. Hoping that I am good enough for him that he will love me. When we get up to the school, and I am nervous, my mom looks at and smiles. ¡°It''s ok Lilly he will love you and if he doesn''t, you will find someone who will love you and will make your life more magical than you could ever imagine.¡± ¡°Thanks mom, I love you so much.¡± ¡°Don''t forget dad and I will be here to pick you up right after school, and we will go to Wicked Falls as a family tradition.¡± ¡°We will try to have a good day at work, mom.¡± chapter 2 chapter 2 As we are walking up to school, I start to detect an enchanting smell. I start to freak out and run away from it terrified who it is. I''m just not ready for this. I just can''t. I don''t want this day to be the worst day ever if I get rejected. I find my brother and he pushes me away. He is with his group of buddies. I just run to ss, hoping I am not being followed. I have always been good at school, not really sure why, but always came too easily to me. ss is ready to start I''m, so Thankfully I just need to do what I''m good at not worrying about what is happening outside of ss. When ss finishes, I smell it again, and I inhale the smell it is like I think heaven would be. I can''t exin it like the forest, the wilderness, what I would imagine it to smell like. Suddenly, I feel a grip around my arm. Next thing I know I''m being pulled along, I get shoved into an empty ssroom. I look into his beautiful gray eyes. He is so tall he towers over me, his dark brown hair almost looks ck. My body is going numb to his touch loving the way he makes me feel. Wanting him to kiss my lips oh my god his lips look so delicious I can feel the power radiating off him, not sure what is about to happen. That dream is short-lived when he starts to speak even though I love watching his lip move with his stern tone. ¡°I don''t want you as my mate. I already have a Luna and soon to be wife. I don''t want you.¡± ¡°So are you rejecting me then?¡± ¡°No, I''m an Alpha. I will need an heir, so I will have to mate with you and create one when I decide I''m ready for that. I''lle back for you so you can give me one.¡± ¡°I won''t just give my child away, it will be mine too. I deserve better than that.¡± ¡°Little girl, I don''t care what you deserve, but you don''t have a choice, do you understand me.¡± ¡°You''re not the boss of me, please move, so I can leave.¡± ¡°I''lle for you when I''m ready.¡± He walks out, I run in a different direction than him, I go into the girl''s bathroom. Trying to deal with all that just happened disappointed that he doesn''t want me feeling so defeated. I would have rather just gotten rejected. What am I going to tell my parents, obviously the truth ? I have never lied to them. I don''t know what to do as I walk out the hall I just continue like it''s just any other day. I really don''t have friends for what reason, not really sure if I have just always kept to myself my brother is a social butterfly. I can''t wait until I hear the bell to get out of here. I just want to go home. I will not tell my family about what has happened. I don''t want to ruin our perfect day at wicked falls really looking forward to it this every year especially after what just happened running in the woods so freely just feels amazing. The falls are so beautiful it''s the only fall in ska that the water doesn''t freeze which is crazy. I haven''t seen my brother all day, so I am uncertain if he was able to find his mate today or not, but he will be able to see the sadness in my eyes. I just hope he just doesn''t care. I am justing in and out not really paying attention to anything the Teacher is saying because I really just don''t care to be honest. I need to figure out a way to be able to deal with this whole mate situation. I am not just going to let him use me for breeding purposes he must be insane. Hating myself because of how his touch affects my body, wishing I had no reaction to him, but that would be a lie. If I knew his name, I would just reject him, but I have never seen him before. I walk out of the bathroom and go to my locker. My brother runs up to me with a girl. She is beautiful. She has red hair and beautiful blue eyes. Content (C) N?v/elDra/ma.Org. ¡°Lilly this is my mate Sky.¡± I can''t hold it in. I try not to cry, but I can''t help it. I take off into thedies room, go into a stall and shut the door as I begin to cry. I hear my brother calling out to me. ¡°I''ming in if you don''te out Lilly, what is going on, what happened?¡± ¡°My mate doesn''t want me, he won''t reject me because he will need an heir because he is an Alpha. He wants to use me to breed a pup for him.¡± ¡°I''m sorry sis it will be ok you will always have me to drive you crazy enough right. You don''t want to be with a mate that doesn''t love you back.¡± ¡°I came out of the stall. I''m not sure what I would do without you, I love you brother.¡± ¡°You would be lost without me now e out and meet my mate. She truly is amazing.¡± ¡°I would be totally lost without you. Thank you foring after me.¡± "Lilly your my sister I always wille after you know matter what. "Thank you Landon now lets go so you can interduce me to your mate." Lilly this is Sky my mate. Sky this is my annoying sister Lilly. Heughs as push him I''m starting feel better now. "Lilly do you care if Skyes with us to Wicked Falls after school.¡± ¡°I think that''s a great idea now that she is a part of our family she could join our traditions.¡± ¡°So who is your mate?¡± ¡°I don''t even know his name. I just know that he is an Alpha, but I don''t know or care, let''s not talk about it please.¡± ¡°Okay, we don''t have to today since it''s our birthday, but I will be here if you need to talk.¡± So as we walk out of school I''m excited for what is about toe I know that my parents are going to ask about my mate not knowing what I''m going to tell them I have never lied to my parents and I don''t n on it, but I don''t want to talk about the truth of what all happened today. My brother runs up to the car first he is probably asking if it is okay if Sky goes with us to Wicked Falls. It will be a little difficult I will admit, but I am so excited for my brother. I''m happy that he found his mate and she epted him. My brother motions for us toe up to our parents Sky and I walk up to the vehicle, and we get in ready to go to Wicked Falls I''m so excited to get a good run in especially how today went I just want to break loose and run wild. Wicked falls is one of the ces where Werewolves are allowed to go and just run or just go to exercise. It''s so beautiful up there. I am so excited to go. I can''t wait. chapter 3 chapter 3 The ride up to Wicked Falls was nice and peaceful. It gave me much needed time to think. My parents did not bring up my mate at all. My brother must have asked them not to mention it which I''m grateful for. I didn''t want to talk to them about it untilter. I tried to put all my sadness behind me; I want to have fun today especially when we don''t do this often only for special events like our birthday for example. My brother''s mate Sky is very nice. She called her parents on the way to let them know she wasing with us. They were very excited for her finding her mate, I could hear the excitement in their voices from her phone. I just stare out the window wondering what is in store for me with my mate, sad that he doesn''t want me. I am sort of jealous of my brother, he will be able to have a life with his mate. All my mate wants to do is use me, I will have his heir, but I will not give my child to him. If he does not agree with that I will not agree to have his heir I will run and never look back. I know my family will follow, we could never be apart, we would follow each other to the ends of the world. We would fight to our deaths to protect one another, that''s how strong our love is, no doubt in my mind. As we pull up and park the car I fill up with excitement I can not wait to turn into my wolf and just be free even if it''s only for a couple of hours. As everyone is getting out of the car getting ready for the run. My mom looks at me with sadness in her eyes. I know that she knows what happened and she wants to fix it, but she knows she can''t. I can tell she wants to talk to me, so I wait back, so she can talk to me. Content (C) N?v/elDra/ma.Org. ¡°Sweetheart, I''m sorry that things didn''t turn out the way you wanted it to with your mate.¡± ¡°Thanks mom, but it''s not your fault, and it can''t be fixed, I just want to enjoy our run.¡± ¡°Ok Sweetheart, if you need to talk to me, you know I am always here to listen.¡± ¡°I know mom lets not worry about it, lets deal with it tomorrow, not ruin today.¡± ¡°Okay honey I love so much let''s go and have a st.¡± ¡°Yes let''s have a st. I have been waiting for this all day. I know it will make me feel better Mom you don''t have to worry about me, I will be ok I don''t need my mate.¡± As we walk up to where everyone is at I smell my mate, I get so pissed that he must be around hoping he doesn''t ruin my day. I just try my hardest not to react to his scent, I don''t want my family to know he is here. I find a ce to shift behind some bushes, Iy my clothes there so when we are finished, I have something to change back into. My wolf is so much different from most wolves for what reason I''m really not sure my wolf is all silver with white paws. I''m bigger than most wolves but smaller than an Alpha wolf but not too much smaller. My wolf is quite beautiful actually when we first saw my wolf my parents were surprised by its appearance but never seemed concerned. She hasn''t spoken to me yet today with all happening she probably never will now. I will still hold hope just not too much today, I really can''t take much more disappointment. We began our run it is so beautiful here it is breathtaking as I''m running through the tall grass jumping over stumps and boulders I can''t get enough we all run for hours through the forest loving every minute we took some breaks Sky was never here, so it was pretty intense for her, but I believe that she still enjoyed herself especially getting to know my brother. My parents left them running alone together, so she wouldn''t hold us back because she was so slow. I needed to relieve as much stress as possible. I needed to let loose. I wanted to run as fast as my wolf could go, and she just couldn''t keep up with me, so I really wanted to leave her behind. I know that it sounds mean, but I just can''t help it. It''s not like I said it out loud, I was just thinking about it. When I finally made it to the top of the Wicked Falls, I let a howl of desperation out; it was so exhrating. I saw another wolf in the shadows, I knew it was my mate, I could sense him. My parents came up to me, and he just faded away which I was happy I did not want them to meet him. I didn''t want them to be able to put a face on the man who rejected me, even though eventually, they would just not today. We wait up there for a while which really seems like forever as it seems like it''s growing darker and darker we decide to start heading back as it begins to rain. I could tell that my parents were concerned about me, but they kept it to themselves. They didn''t mind link me during the run, they just left me to deal with it myself which I appreciated so much. As it begins to rain harder and harder, we start running back, the rain is stinging our bodies due to it running so hard. It''s starting to get hard to see, and we are soaked. We stop for a while hoping that the rain will die down a little, but it doesn''t slow, it continues to rain. So, we decided to make a run for it, trying to get back to the car. It has never rained like this before when we havee up here not being here all that often it hard to run through here when you''re blinded. My silver fur is brown covered in mud. Damn it I should have known that today just wasn''t going to go the way it was supposed to go. We finally get back to where we started, not sure where my clothes are since it''s dark out now. As I''m searching for my clothes I can''t find them. Damn it, I can''t get in the car naked. ¡°Mom can you please help me find my clothes I don''t want to have to ride home naked.¡± ¡°Of course I can help you sweetheart. I know that you put your clothes by a bush. I just don''t know which one, and it''s too dark to see. Let me see if dad has a shlight.¡± ¡°Thanks so much mom I really appreciate your help.¡± I stand there naked freezing my ass. I am looking for my clothes. I hear a voice ¡°are you looking for these by any chance?¡± I look to see it''s my mate. I''m surprised he is here. I then ask ¡°why are you here?¡± ¡°I don''t live far from here. I smelled you, so I began wondering why you were here, so I followed you.¡± ¡°Well thank you for helping me find my clothes, but you can go now.¡± ¡°I''m sorry that I don''t want to be your mate.¡± ¡°You don''t need to exin it to me, I really don''t care just please leave me alone.¡± As I am putting my clothes on he is watching my every move until my mother walks up to me, before he takes off. ¡°Oh good you found your clothes are you ready to go this rain is just getting worse.¡± chapter 4 chapter 4 We all get into the car. The run was amazing feeling the wind blow through my fur is the most amazing feeling even though I''m covered in mud, but I don''t mind. My brother and Sky never made it to the top they were spending their time making out once they were alone, so they never made it to the top of wicked falls. Well, that''s just too bad for them, but there will always be next time now that Sky is a part of the family. I never really had a girlfriend hoping that Sky and I can be great friends. I don''t want my brother and I to drift apart because he has a loving mate that wants to be with him. I know that my mom will help me to deal with all this mate stuff, I''m just so d I have her. This rain is so bad it''s bing hard to see outside. I don''t know how my dad can see to drive. My mom is starting to get worried about the rain I can tell she says. ¡°Honey, don''t you think we should pull over and let the rain calm down a little, it''s bing hard to see it''s already pitch ck out and this rain is blinding.¡± ¡°Sandy I am fine I know how to drive why don''t you just stay the passenger and not be the passenger driver my love.¡± ¡°Fine, but I''m just getting nervous not being able to see out the front of the windshield it is scary So just be careful.¡± ¡°I am being as careful as I can be my love I would never risk our lives for anything.¡± Listening to my father''s voice assured me that everything was fine, that in fact he did not need to pullover that he was in total control. He would have never risked our lives, even if it would hurt his manhood. He would still listen to my mom if he felt he was unable to do something. All of a sudden, I be blinded confused not being able to see a thing of what is going on then suddenly I turn upside down my body flying in every which direction as it roles. I realize we just got hit by another car as the car is rolling I''m terrified hoping and praying that we all get out of this alive. Then I hear my mother hollering and can tell in her voice that she''s horrified, and then I hear her say, ¡°I love you guys, always remember that.¡± Then it almost feels like we''re free-falling, it''s a weird feeling I can''t see outside through the windows, it''s too dark out, all I see is ck. The force of the car smashing is a force I have never felt it was so hard as it ms against what I believe is water not understanding how I''m still conscious the hit was so hard I''m in shock my body hurts so bad from impact I am trying to look around to see if everyone else is okay, but then I notice that they are not responding. I push on my brother, trying to wake him, but he does not budge, i check for his pulse he doesn''t have a pulse no please. I yell out to everybody trying to get somebody''s attention, but nobody is answering back to me then I realize it was water we went over the bridge I start to notice the car is filling up with water I be terrified not sure how to get out I tried to bust out a window, but it''s not breaking. I''m still buckled I try to get my seat belt off, but it is stuck damn it I can''t move I go to look up front to see my parents I can''t see very well only having the moonlight that is shining through the window as light but what I do see isn''t good my mother and father are not responding there is blood coming out of them seeing the water turning red realizing they are badly hurt. I scream for help but knowing no one is out there that will be able to help me. As the car is taking under more water, I''m watching as my family is going under the water, knowing I am not going to be able to save them. They won''t respond to me when I scream out their names. It''s like they are all sleeping I go under with the car not being able to get out I decide to ept my fate. I grab a hold of my brothers hand I kiss it as i scream in despair and close my eyes waiting for the car to fill and go under the rest of the way. What a better way, to die with the people you love most in this world. My family and I are going to die, I can''t believe this was supposed to be the best day of my life. Finding my mate being able to go to Wicked Falls our favorite ce in the world. It all ended tragically in a car ident and all of us drowning to death as I start feeling like I''m falling asleep I feel someone grabbed me hoping maybe my family hase to, and we''re all escaping together. My body is starting to feeling tingles all around and arousal is taking into effect, I''m confused and not sure why. I begin to cough as I open my eyes I watched the water drain from my mouth. I''m looking I see it''s no one other than my mate why does it have to be him why couldn''t it be someone I love someone who loves me back. I scream, and I go to jump back in the water he grabs me I can''t escape him his hold on me is so strong I can''t move. ¡°Let me go, I need to save them please just let me go you fucking bastard I need to save them.¡± Tears are streaming down my face my vision Just starts going blurry my heart shattered not even wanting to take a breath. ¡°I''m sorry I can not let you go you can not save them they are already dead.¡± I start beating on his chest like a maniac I''m so angry that he just won''t let me try to save them he won''t let me go I don''t understand what has just happened. My life has just ended everything I loved it''s now gone. How am I going to be able to move on without them? This isn''t going to be a life I don''t know what am I supposed to do. As I watch the carpletely sink bubbles emerge from it nobodyes back up it just gone. I stand there cold and terrified, wishing that I would have died with them. Why would he save me, he doesn''t even care about me? He loosens his grip for a minute I get out of it and I run then I jump over the bridge into the water wanting to save my family. The water is freezing not even caring swimming as fast as I can, I go under, but everything''s ck I see nothing. I can hear that alpha growl as his disappointment in me, but I don''t care I go under the water trying to find them, but I see nothing everything is ck. The next thing I know my leg is being grabbed, and I''m being pulled. Of course he had toe in after me, he could not have just let me alone. He takes me to the shore as I am fighting him with every tooth and nail trying to get away from him, He puts his to hands on my shoulders and makes me look at him in the eyes and tells me. ¡°They are dead, you need to stop this craziness before you get yourself killed.¡± I look back into his eyes and I tell him, ¡°I fucking hate you.¡±T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. chapter 5 chapter 5 As I walk into my house, it''s quiet. There is nobody else there but me. I feel so numb knowing that there will never be anyone else here but me. I go and pick out the clothes for my family to be buried in not knowing what would be perfect for them but just trying to remember what was their favorite clothes to wear. As I got into my mother''s closet I saw the dress that she always wore when her and my father went out on date always the same dress it was my father''s favorite dress he would always tell her that she was always the prettiest one in the room when she wore that dress. My mother was so simple I''m not really sure what to pick out for her. I just look for favorite cks and shirt as tears flood my eyes smelling her shirt having her scent in my presence It''s overwhelming. My father and my brother, it wasn''t really hard to pick out what their favorite clothes were. As I smelled their clothes For thest time having their scent knowing that I won''t be back to this house for a while, I just packed some of my belongings and left. I can''t stay here right now. I''m just not ready for it, but I''m not giving up my family home. I will be back. I go to the bathroom before I go to leave. When I go to wash my hands I see my reflection in the mirror. I look at my swollen red eyes with green in them. My mother always said that my eyes were as green as the forest that I had the prettiest eyes. I start to lose it again. I can''t help but punch the mirror and break it. I don''t even feel the pain from my cuts as the blood drips off my fingers tips. They''re doing autopsies to figure out what they died of if it was trauma or if they drowned. I told them there was another vehicle involved, but they have no leads on whom it might have been. I think if they didn''t suffer from drowning I would be a little relieved it was instant. My parents left everything to my brother and I. So I don''t have to fight for anything since it''s in my name the bank won''t take the house. Everything they own is paid off, so there is no debt. I can''t handle all of this right now just focusing on the burning ceremony. It''s nice that they are allowing Sky to be beside my brother since they were mates. It is a ceremony where werewolves believe it sets our souls free. The ceremony has to be done; it has been tradition for hundreds of years. I haven''t talked to anyone since that night. I have just been silent. I can''t handle talking to people about it. Everybody looks at me with sympathy. It pisses me off. I just want to be left alone. I know that I am grieving the loss of my family. It will stay with me for the rest of my life. I will never get over what happened to me and what the alpha did not allow me to at least try to save my family. I really did not think I could hate my mate anymore than I already did when he said he just wanted me to breed his heir but when he prevented me from trying to save my family he built more hate for anybody that I''ve ever felt. To be honest, I didn''t even really know what hatred was until now. I hate him with every breath I take. I don''t wish anything good for him, I wish that he would have just left me to die with the people that loved me. The only reason he saved me was because he needs me to provide him his heir but what he doesn''t know I will never have a child for him. I will do whatever I need to do to make sure that never happens. Since I have everything that I need for now, I leave not wanting to look back at all the memories of all the pictures on the wall of our lives together. I force myself out the door. Tears stream down my face, I can''t believe this is all real. Now that I have no family the Alpha prefers me to be closer to him which is fucking stupid in my opinion it''s not like he wants anyone to find out that we are mates, so he should let me alone, but my opinions don''t matter to him, but I bet if his girlfriend knew who I was she wouldn''t want me to be so close. Maybe that''s how I can get out of being so close to him. I am just so lost I have no idea where to even begin now. I''m not a revengeful kind of person I am not going to be a person my parents would have been ashamed of. I look outside at the ck SUV knowing they''re waiting for me toe out. I just drop to my knees and scream as tears begin to form in my eyes and stream down my face. I bring my knees to my chest and cradle myself. Trying tofort myself, but all I feel is loneliness. I hear a knock at the door before I open it. "Are you ok, miss I heard a scream. I just wanted to make sure you were ok. Alpha would have my head if I allowed anything to happen to you." I just nod at him, not clear what to say. Am I fine, what is fine I''m lost for words not sure of anything right now. We pull up to the funeral home and I struggle to get out of the car knowing my family''s bodies are in there. Uncertain how that makes me feel, I don''t want to get out of the car, but I know I need to. A man knocked on my window. I go to put it down. He looks to be around my age surprised. "Would you like to just give us what you need to give me, so then you won''t have to walk in?" Giving him the motion of writing on my hand, asking for paper and pen. I write to him thank you. That would be great. I appreciate your kindness. My dad is size 34 jeans arge shirt my brother is size 32 jeans and medium shirt. My mom is wearing the women''s clothes. "Alright that is all I will need I will see you tomorrow. " I feel even more numb now not really knowing what the hell is going to go on. I just want to crawl inside a hole and nevere out. How am I ever going to be able to face this life by myself? My brother always said I needed to learn how to make friends, but I was just always a loner. My mom was really my only friend I needed and besides, I just wasn''t a social butterfly. I just never had too much time, I was always so busy with school. It''s crazy how Wicked Falls went from my favorite ce to a ce I never want to go back to but it will be hard not to go back to since now that it''s my backyard. I go and get out of the car, walk into my new home for now just until I can figure out what I am doing about everything. With Alpha wanting me close to him, I''m just happy that I have my own space and not under the same roof as him. As I am walking into the cabin it''s beautiful and thank god its electric heat. I''m not about to cut firewood. The furniture all looks brand new, everything is all wilderness. Which I do love nature so whatever I just go and plob myself on the couch. I shut my eyes and I instantly fall asleep.Content (C) N?v/elDra/ma.Org. "Lilly why did you leave me you left me to die I thought you love me" "Landon I do love you I''m so sorry I wanted to save you." "Lilly, you could have saved me, why were you so selfish just to let me die." "Mommy please I''m so sorry I wanted to save it was so dark I couldn''t find you it all happened so fast." "Lilly you gave up on us." "No no I wanted to save you I''m so sorry I wanted to save you I couldn''t get to you, I''m so sorry." I jump as my family is gathering around me, scaring me. I jump awake. I then realized I was having another dream: I haven''t been able to sleep. I just wish that this was all a bad dream. That I would wake up and my family would be there with me, but there is no waking up from the nightmare I''m living. I am living in my very own hell and not really sure how I am getting myself out of it. chapter 6 chapter 6 Today is the day it''s time to put my family 6 feet under the ground. As I get my ck dress out of the bag, I hang it up. I look at it as tears start to feel my eyes. This is my funeral dress never thinking I would be wearing it to bury my family. I decide to get a shower I turn the water on letting it warm as I take my clothes off. I look into the mirror and the bruises from the ident where all fading like it never happened. I''m so angry I let out a scream of fury. I just drop to the floor and bring my knees to my chest trying tofort myself as I cry. Content (C) N?v/elDra/ma.Org. I watch as the bathroom fills up with steam from the hot water in the shower. Forcing myself to get up and get in the shower, telling myself I stink I need to shower. As the hot water is burning my skin, I don''t budge, wanting to feel anything but what I''m feeling right now. It almost feels like a relief to me, I can feel the burning is all over me. I just rx as I clean myself, getting angry that the water is turning cold. I shut it off and got out. I look in the mirror and see my skin looking red, not giving a shit that it stings. I go to grab my dress slipping over my body as I stare at myself in the mirror. I hate the way I look. I can''t do this, I can''t handle this, I don''t want to. I shift into my wolf tearing the dress apart and taking off through the woods not stopping not being able to stop all my grief has taken over me, I can''te out from it, I''m stuck in this life I''m so unsure of everything, so I just run. I feel so ashamed not going to the ceremony. I know people are going to talk, but I don''t care. I was never much for funerals especially now it being my family I just can''t. I can''t bear to see them lying in a casket, I don''t want that to be myst memory of them. I know that my family would expect me to move on and live the best life possible. I am just hoping in time I will be able to just live not wanting to die. If it wouldn''t be for my family being so disappointed in me for killing myself, I probably would already have done so. I always ask myself why let me live and take them away. Is my purpose just a breeder for the Alpha is that why I lived. It''s crazy that he will be the Alpha of the pack I''ve been in my entire life, I have never met him until that day. I guess he just became Alpha a couple of years ago when his father passed it over to him, but I still never met him. I know he has to be older, he didn''t go to our school. So, why was he there if I never would have met him? My fate would have been the same as my families; he would have never cared to save me? I hate him for saving me and not letting me perish with the ones I have loved. I have been running for hours before I began to get so tired that my body just copses. As I change back into my human andy there naked, not caring if anyone sees me. It''s so cold feeling the rain hitting my body. I look up at the trees to the stars. It''s so beautiful. As I began to shiver and shake from the cold, I then snapped back to reality as all the peacefulness drained out of me.. I started to fall asleep hoping this time I wouldn''t wake up. I don''t get to sleep long until I feel someone shaking, asking me if I''m ok. I shrug them off me, not wanting them to touch me. They backed away from me ¡°I''m not going to hurt you I just wanted to make sure you were ok.¡± I don''t respond, I just shift into my wolf and take off searching for somewhere else where I wouldn''t be found, so I could have peace. I get to the top of Wicked Falls I shift back to my human walk up to the edge just wanting to jump I then hear a shuffle of sticks I look it''s the man from before. ¡°I''m the Beta my is name Sam I am to watch over you if you jump then the Alpha will have my head so come on let''s not do this.¡± Knowing I''m not going to jump and not caring that he is looking over my naked body. I just sit down on the edge to rest watching as the wateres out of the falls, wishing things were different. Wondering why the hell I have a babysitter. Really, just wanting to be alone and not having someone watch my every move would be nice. I don''t need anyone to try to protect me, I will be fine. If something would happen to me, it really wouldn''t be the worst thing to happen. There is know one left that loves me, there wouldn''t even be a person who would affected. The Alpha could enjoy his life with his girlfriend, not having to worry about his pathetic mate interfering with his rtionship. ¡°Can you please just listen to me and get away from the edge, I really don''t want you to get hurt.¡± I roll my eyes, not caring about what he says. Wishing he would just leave. I then shifted into my wolf, still in his human form. I let out a growl of anger. Trying to warn him to just leave me to be miserable alone. ¡°Wow, your wolf is beautiful. I have never seen a silver wolf before you''re one of a kind. You can''t hide your pain . I can see it through your eyes. I can be your friend if you want.¡± I don''t even know why he has to be here. I jump over him, I run as fast as I can, which really isn''t all that fast. I am too tired, my body is getting weak and I run myself ragged. I want to be alone, but there is someone everywhere I go. Next thing I know I''m being tackled. I look to see who it is. It''s arge ck wolf twice my size. I don''t react, I just try to fight him off so I can continue to run. He is too strong. I can''t escape him, not being able to escape his grip terrifies me. I then hear a voice saying he is our mate. Our mate doesn''t want us, he only wants us for breeding purposes. That''s not what his wolf wants, he won''t allow anything to happen to you. He doesn''t care about us, so don''t get your hopes up. By the way, I''m Star your wolf you''re not alone you have me we will get through this together. Not realizing I passed out I am being carried bridal style, his hand on my bodyforts me makes me feel stronger. I''m so tired I just let him carry me to what I believe is my cabin, so I can rest. It would be nice, I close my eyes and go back to sleep. chapter 7 chapter 7 As I begin to wake up, not sure where I am at as I''m looking around, I then realize I''m in the cabin. I look down at myself, and I''m clean. Someone must have showered me and changed my clothes. What the fuck. Who the hell would do that, damn it, they would have touched me fuck. I''m embarrassed, not sure how to even act. I get out of bed and walk to the kitchen to get a drink. ¡°How did you sleep, you have been out for a while? I jump and scream not knowing anyone else was here ¡°what the fuck are you doing here?¡± ¡°Oh, so you are able to speak by the way I''m Sam not sure if you remember, but I volunteered to be your friend.¡± ¡°Well, Sam please leave. I don''t want any friends and did you change me.¡± ¡°I did not bathe and change you, that was the Alpha. He would not dear let anyone touch while you asleep.¡± ¡°Why can''t you guys just let me alone.¡± ¡°Why don''t you sit and rx, I will make you breakfast, I''m actually a pretty good cook.¡± ¡°Ok I''m starving, so I guess that would be fine as long as you don''t talk to me, just let me alone.¡± ¡°I will keep quiet but if you change your mind here, I''m a great listener.¡± I don''t talk to him while he prepares my breakfast, I am starving from not eating for a couple of days. I think it''s really nice of him to cook me breakfast, but I am afraid to feel anything for anybody. I can''t get any attachments, I can''t allow myself to be happy. I want to know how long I''ve been sleeping for, I am not really sure what day it is today. Wanting to know but not wanting to ask him, I just sit there. My thoughts be dark, if I am not able to kill myself I need to find an event that it would be most likely IOriginal content from N?velDrama.Org. would not survive. I can always live on the edge and just hope that something happens, and I don''t survive. I can''t help but to be in this dark ce, I am not really sure how to get myself out of it. It''s nice to know that there is one person in this pack that is actually friendly maybe when I am ready I will talk to him. ¡°Alright here is your breakfast, please don''t judge too hard, but I know it''s going to taste delicious though.¡± he smiles and hands it to me. You can hear my stomach growling as he brings me a te of food and I smile ¡°thank you.¡± He looks at me surprised not knowing if he should talk back, but he does ¡°your wee anytime I love to cook.¡± ¡°Well it''s really good I was never the cook my mom would try to teach, but I just never interested in learning.¡± ¡°I could teach you if you would like.¡± ¡°Are you fucken kidding me if I didn''t want to be taught by my mother why would you think I would want you to teach me anything.¡±? ¡°I''m sorry I didn''t mean to upset you, I was just offering in case you changed your mind.¡± I get up and storm to the bathroom. I am not mad at him just mad at myself for being such a bitch. Come Lilly you didn''t need to be a bitch to him, he is just trying to be your friend. Star I don''t want any friends right now, I just need to be alone. Lilly, we all need that one person who we can talk to. I can''t Star I am broken just trying not to kill myself. Lilly having a friend may solve your problems just think about it. I know that she is right, but I''m too afraid to get close to anyone else. ¡°Look Sam I''m sorry I''m really not myself, so please just ignore me when that happens.¡± ¡°Look I understand I just know it sucks being alone. It is nice to have at least one person in your corner when you''re ready to talk. I will listen.¡± Now there you go Lilly that wasn''t so hard now was it. You made your first friend. Star I am not going to be wanting to talk all the time like this. I do enjoy quiet if you would just give me some, please. ¡°Look Sam, I appreciate your sweetness, but please just give me space, don''t suffocate.¡± ¡°Oh you think I''m sweet, well that''s pretty awesome.¡± ¡°Let''s finish our delicious breakfast while it is still hot, so we can enjoy our breakfast.¡± I like how Sam makes me feel more like myself the person before the ident but when I get the nce of happiness I instantly shatter it, how dare I be happy when I meant to be miserable. I know that their death is not my fault, but I suffer the guilt of their deaths every day they say as time goes on it will get easier, but the time is moving slowly and every day is getting harder. I just don''t know how to be happy without them, I don''t think I deserve to be? Sam does seem nice. He''s the only person who has tried to really talk to me since my parents and my brother have died. The Alpha never spoke to me like a real person. As we finish up breakfast I look at Sam, ¡°I am going to go for a run would you like toe with me.¡± ¡° Don''t you think that you should rx, your body needs time to rx, you have been running yourself ragged.¡± ¡°It''s the only time I don''t think I need to go for a run, so I don''t have to think.¡± ¡°Your body is exhausted, you really need to rest.¡± ¡°Look I don''t need you telling me what I need, I was asking you just to be nice that was all.¡± ¡°I am not trying to be your boss and just trying to look out for you. If you don''t stop running yourself ragged you''re going to hurt yourself.¡± ¡°Well I am not your concern you don''t have to worry about me, I will be just fine.¡± ¡°Actually you are my responsibility, I am to watch over youmanded by the Alpha.¡± ¡°Well I relieve you of your duties. I don''t need you watching over me, I will be just fine.¡± ¡°Lilly it doesn''t work like that you have no authority over me like the Alpha has you can''t relieve me of my duties if you go for a run against me, I will have to tell the Alpha I''m sorry.¡± ¡°Then tell him I really don''t care goodbye.¡± I go out the front door, I shift into my Wolf and I take off not caring about the consequences of my actions. What is the Alpha actually going to do, he does not care about me? I know that my body is not up to par, I am weak, and I should be resting, but I can''t just lie around. Running helps me forget about everything even though once I''m done running it''s all there. I don''t know how to get better, I don''t even know how to want to be able to live again. So, I run until I can''t any longer, it''s all I know to do right now it''s all I can do. It might be hard for people to understand, but I guess you won''t understand it unless you''ve been where I was or am. As I am running Ie across a big ck wolf power radiating off him by his smell, I can tell he is my mate. I shift in my humane form, not caring I''m naked there really isn''t any care in me. He shifts in his human form staring me down, then he speaks. ¡°What are you doing? Your body is exhausted, you need to rest.¡± ¡°It''s none of your business what I''m doing just let me be please just leave me alone you don''t want me so just go away.¡± ¡°I still need you alive if I ever want a hier to my pack, so I do need you not to kill yourself.¡± ¡°I''m not going to kill myself even though I want too. My family wouldn''t approve of that, or I would already be dead.¡± ¡°Juste back and rx for today, then go out tomorrow. ¡° ¡°No I don''t want to go back, I''m not ready yet just leave me alone.¡± ¡°I am your Alpha, you will listen to me now, get back to your cabin and stay until I tell you that you are allowed to leave.¡± He raises his tone to an Alpha stern tone. It has no effect on me. I don''t care what he says I don''t listen I shift into my wolf form and just run. I don''t pay him any mind. I know he is chasing me and he''s probably going to attack me, but I don''t care a part of me hopes he loses control and kills me. I am so lost not sure what to do I need to get my life on track not sure where to even start. They''re never coming back there, gone forever I stop dead in my tracks let out a howl of sorrow crying wanting my old life back. Iy on the ground staying in my wolf as the Alpha approached me, he is angry at me for taking off, but he just sits and lets me finish my rant not understanding why he is here or why he cares so much. chapter 8 chapter 8 I am struggling to figure out what I need to do with my life now that the Alpha punished me by making me stay in the pack house. I have no privacy at all. I am not really sure why he would want me in the pack house especially with him being there he doesn''t want anyone to know he found his mate. I try to stay away from everybody. I don''t talk to anybody. I just don''t feelfortable. This is not my family. I don''t belong. All I crave is to be alone. As I go up to my room I feel a sharp pain in my chest and am not really sure what is happening. Star says it''s our mate he is with another woman. Not understanding why, but rage ovees me. I follow his scent to his bedroom knowing that another woman is in his Room. I kicked the door open and they both jumped out of their skin. I grab the bitch by the hair and put her up against the wall. I then growled out ¡°mine.¡± ¡°What the fuck are you doing, get the fuck out of my room.¡± The rage that is oveing my body feels amazing as the little she wolf tries to defend herself. My father trained my brother and I as kids to defend ourselves very well if I may add. She has know chance of defeating me when she realizes she is defeated and runs over to him. ¡°Ivan are you just going to let her do that to me.¡± ¡°What is it your just his little whore you could never give him the pleasure that I could give him.¡± ¡°That is enough get the fuck out of my room.¡± ¡°Fine you want to y that game, two can y this game let''s y.¡± I walk out of his room, I see Sam, I grab a hold of him and drag him behind me. We go into my room. ¡°What is going on are you okay.¡± ¡°Do you have a girlfriend?¡± ¡°No!¡± My lips connect to his as my body starts burning up with lust, his touch feeling more amazing than I could ever imagine. ¡°What are you doing?¡± ¡°I''m making the Alpha jealous he is fucking some bitch, so I''m going to fuck you is that ok with you.¡± ¡°So you''re using me?¡± I can''t finish my sentence before the Alpha storms in. I''m half naked, sitting on top of Sam. ¡°Can I help you with something?¡± ¡°Sam get the fuck out of her room you are not toe back in here understood.¡± I get off him, so it allows him to get up. I am not even sure why the Alpha is even pissed. I know he felt the same pain I felt. It''s his fault I still hate him. I just want a taste. I can see the lust in his eyes, I know what is about to happen. I have never been with anyone, this will be my first time, but he doesn''t need to know about it. Sam walks out my bedroom and shuts the door. ¡°What are you doing trying to fuck my Beta?¡± ¡°Sam is my friend, we were just having fun.¡± ¡°You can''t be acting like this, I won''t allow it.¡± ¡°If you don''t want to be my mate, that is fine, but you don''t have the right to control me.¡± T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°I don''t want you, but my wolf does, he doesn''t like it when you''re getting pleasure from someone else.¡± I walk up close to him wanting to tease him craving his touch. My lips are right in front of his. I can feel his breath on my skin. It''s exhrating. All I want is him to pleasure me. I want to feel something. I don''t want him to love me, I don''t want him to be with me all I want is the pleasure that he''s meant to give me. ¡°Then why don''t you give me the pleasure that I crave?'''' I whisper into his ear.¡± Next thing I know my body is up against the wall as he''s kissing me down my neck, my body screaming out in pleasure wanting more. He rips my shirt off and starts kissing down my chest as he crest my breast and sucks on my nipples. I moan out in pleasure, loving how good he is making me feel. He goes to pick me up as I wrap my legs around his body, he carries me to the bed and puts me on the bed. ¡°How do you like it, so I know how to pleasure you.¡± ¡°It doesn''t matter to me just do it anyway you want to do it.¡± ¡°What do you mean it doesn''t matter you have had sex before right.¡± He stops and looks at me, I don''t know how to respond. I never had done anything with anyone. I wanted to save it for my mate. I never even dated, I just didn''t want to waste my time on someone else. ¡°Who cares if I haven''t what does it matter to you?¡± ¡°You''re a Virgin I can''t be the one that takes your virginity.¡± ¡°Are you fucking kidding me seriously get out of my room leave now.¡± I am shocked that he rejected me, I really thought that something was going to happen, but I should have known better all I deserve is misery not happiness. I don''t even know how I am going to face Sam now he''s probably not even going to talk to me. I justy on my bed feeling pity on myself like I do what I always do now. It''s like a new routine pity party. My bedroom door opens. I noticed that it is Sam. ¡°Well that was a little awkward, I think maybe we should try that some other time.¡± As he sits on my bed, I just lie down and stare at the ceiling. ¡°You still want to be with me or are you just being friendly.¡± ¡°Are you kidding Lilly you are fucking hot anybody would be lucky to have you.¡± ¡° Sam, would you take my virginity.¡± He startsughing, ¡°what kind of question is that really do you want me too.¡± ¡°I don''t think that you know, so I am just going to tell you, just keep it quiet, the Alpha is my mate I believe his name is Ivan not sure hisst name he won''t tell me, so I can''t reject him. He doesn''t want me, he just wants me to breed for him when the timees. Just a little bit ago he realized I was a Virgin and didn''t want to take my virginity from me.¡± As I amying on the bed Sam cradles his body over top of me and kisses my lips so tender the way a first kiss should feel. ¡°Sam just promise me one thing that this won''t go any farther than sex I don''t want any kind of rtionship I just want to have fun.¡± He then kisses me again ¡°I am happy with anything it is my pleasure to be your first everything.¡± ¡°Thank you so much Sam but as of now I''m not in the mood any longer, but I appreciate it.¡± ¡°Well I will be right here when you want to it would be my honor.¡± He looks at me and smiles. "Aren''t you afraid of what the Alpha might do to you?" ¡°The Alpha doesn''t scare me, he''s my brother.¡± chapter 9 chapter 9 The Beta and I have been spending a lot of time together. I love flirting with him; he is so sexy. I really don''t think the Alpha likes us spending so much time together, but I don''t care. Everybody else just stares know one really talks to me, but they sure can talk about me behind my back. I think that they are just curious why the hell I''m here to be honest, so am I. It''s been about a month since I lost my family. Being with Sam helps ease some of the pain. I still miss them so much I''m not acting myself, just trying to find a way of where I''m not so miserable. Sam helps me from feeling so lonely all the time. He is giving me confidence in so many ways, making me feel like I am the sexiest woman alive. I don''t want him to fall in love with me; I don''t want to be with anyone, I want to be alone. All of a sudden, I''m falling to my knees in pain. It''s almost unbearable not realizing it''s the pain of my mate being with another she Wolf. I am use to this pain it''s starting be a regr thing now making me hate him more. I look for Sam, wondering where he has gone. The pain is getting worse, damn it. I can''t take it any longer, I shift into my wolf and I run down the steps out the door trying to get as far away from him as I can to ease this pain. I hear the guards let a howl out to notify the alpha that I have taken off. I wasn''t escaping, I just wanted to relieve myself from the pain even though I deserve it. I wouldn''t put myself through going to his room again, I don''t want to be around him. I stay as far away from him as I can. As I am running faster and faster I start feeling relief from his actions, the pain slowly disappearing as I''m feeling free. I love the feeling of the air blowing through my fur. It feels amazing. I haven''t felt like this and so long I wasn''t sure if I would ever be able to feel this way again. When I reach the top of Wicked Falls I just go and look over the edge and sit. I wait for him toe because I know he''s coming I can smell him. So, I just sit and wait. It will only be a matter of time until he is here to take me back. I think of my family missing them so much, but I''m starting to feel like myself Sam is helping me with that. I don''t want him, I wonder if I''m unable to care any longer. I feel so peaceful then suddenly I feel pain in my shoulder from the Alpha''s grip on me throwing me into a tree surprised by his actions. I can see rage in his once blue eyes that now are ck. "Why do you not listen to me Lilly, I can''t stand it." "I am not your pet that you can just order around and get your hands off me." "If you don''t start listening to me, I will mark you, so you won''t have a choice but to listen to me. Do you understand I am your Alpha and respect me damn it." "You are not my alpha, you are not my mate, you are nothing to me, and you never will be." He ps me across the face as I fall to the ground surprised by his actions. I hate him even more than I did before. "You need to respect me as your Alpha. You are too weak to be my mate the Luna of this pack you are nothing but my breeder if I didn''t need you I would not keep you now let''s get back to the house." "Fuck you I hate you I''m not going back to the house with you. I want you to reject me now. I am not sitting around here like some little puppet for you to breed." As he approaches me, the power is radiating off him. I know that I pissed him off, but I just can''t do this. I don''t want this. I don''t want to live this life at all, I just want it all to end. I hate the way I am living. I don''t know how to gain control of all this, I just want to escape. Thinking if I make him mad enough, maybe he will just kill me. He grabs me by the throat, "quit defining me." It''s hard to breathe, hoping he just puts me out of my misery. I then realize I almost have him at his breaking point. So, add more fuel to the fire as he throws me to the ground. I scream at him "I wasn''t escaping you were fucking an another she-wolf, so I ran to ease the fucking pain." "Lets go now we are going back to the house now." "No, I don''t want to go back to the house, let me stay back in the cabin please." "I would rather have you close to me. The cabin is too far away and you need protection.'' "I can take care of myself, I don''t need protection." "You are going back to the house. I''m not fighting about this." I shift into my wolf and I take off back to the house angry that he will not let me stay in the cabin any longer because of needing protection I don''t need protection if I need any protection it would be from him. As he follows close behind me like I am going to do a trick or something. Once I see the house I shift back to my human as I walk naked into the house I hear a slight growle from his lips. I don''t pay any mind and just keep walking to my room. Not caring that all eyes are on me, it doesn''t bother me that everyone is looking at me. Content (C) N?v/elDra/ma.Org. When I finally get to my room I am relieved to be alone, before I go turn the water on to shower. I make sure the water is warm and then step in. I let the water pour over my body. It feels so good. I then hear the bathroom door opening and not really sure who it is. I peek my head out to see who it is when I notice It''s Sam I am thankful its him and not Ivan. "He smiles at me, can I join you?" I am a little nervous at first. I''ve never showered with anybody before this will be my first time. "Yes if you want too, I don''t see a problem with that." I watch him take his clothes off, I have never seen him naked god he is so fucking sexy. I feel a sensation between my legs that just wants to be satisfied. I back up to allow him to get in. He begins to kiss my neck. I moan out wanting more than he begins to touch my body; it sends tingles down my spine. He begins to crest my breast and kiss my lips as he presses his body against mine I can feel his hard cock pressing against my leg loving that he is hard for me. He whispers in my ear "I''m going to put my fingers inside your pussy to help it stretch you out so when I fuck you, it doesn''t hurt as bad." I nod to his words as he begins fingering my pussy, my body goes crazy with pleasure I can''t believe how good it feels "oh my God yes" I scream out to him. I don''t feel any pain, just pleasure that I have never felt before. Then all of a sudden I feel him putting his cock inside me, I whimper in pain that is coming with pleasure with every thrust he is rubbing my clit very Intensely that is making it pleasurable. He begins thrusting harder and harder as the pain is going away and all I feel is pleasure I moan out to him with every thrust. Love the pleasure I am receiving as I start to have my orgasm. He makes it more intense when he starts to rub my clit making my body shake. He then pulls out and cums in the shower. "Wow that was amazing like wow." "Well thank you I''m good at pleasuring, and it is one of my favorites. I jumped at the opportunity since my brother left, so he could stop it from happening this time." "He will still know it happened oh yes he will does that bother you" "No I don''t care if he knows" "Thank you for making a terrible night into a good one." He looks at me "I aim to please" he then kisses my lips. We both finish up and shower washing each other, it was quite fun to be honest. I enjoy spending time with him, I feel like I can be myself or be whoever I want to be for that matter. As we are getting out grabbing a towel to dry ourselves, I see that my door is open. When I walk out the bathroom, that''s when I see Ivan. chapter 10 chapter 10 As I walk out of the bathroom, I have my towel around me, as I motion for Sam to stay in there. ¡°Ivan what are you doing in my Room?¡± ¡°I really wish you would just do what you are told Lilly I don''t like how you make everything So damn complicated.¡± I am confused with his words, I really don''t know what the hell he''s talking about I look at him with confusion. ¡°What are you talking about?¡± With no time for me to react he grabs a hold of me and bites down what the fuck he just marked me why. As tears run down my face from the pain and frustration ovees me I tried to react to him, but I can''t then suddenly everything just goes ck. As I am waking up, I see him lying next to me, I noticed that I''m in his room I am so pissed that he marked me, why would he do that if you didn''t want me? He marked me as his now I''m going to be attached to a mate that doesn¡¯t want me. Wondering is this my punishment from letting my family die, not saving them. That I never get to feel love ever again. Now that he marked me I will have to follow hismand through the bond that my Wolf will have to him, I won''t be able to resist him, I know that this is why he did it. He didn''t do it out of love for me, he did it out of being able to control me. I know it''s my fault I would not stop defining him. Now we both have no choice but to be mates, but he doesn''t wear my mark which I will not give to him, he doesn''t deserve it. As a start to move his body shifts than I realize he''s getting up, he looks at me. ¡°You know this is your fault you gave me no other choice you would not listen to me now you don''t have a choice but to.¡± I just looked at him with sorrow in my eyes and just say ¡°fuck you Ivan, I''m not your pet to do as you please with.¡± I say out of frustration knowing that this is what I deserve for allowing my family to die a world of pain. I want to find my inner strength, but I think it''s disappearing, I thought I wasing back, but I was just imagining it. I am so lost will things ever change. Will I find my ce, or will I just be lost forever? Ivan justughed ¡°you will do as your told.¡± ¡°I am going to get breakfast would you like toe down with me to eat¡±? I don''t respond to him, I know that I am starving, I don''t know thest time I have eaten, but I don''t want to go with him. As I watch him walk out of the bedroom, I curl into a ball and cry. Not really sure of anything, I just feel so alone. I just want this nightmare toe to an end. I get out of his bed I want his scent off me, I turn on the shower to let it warm once it gets warm I get into the shower. Loving the water pouring over my body, the warmth rxing my muscles. I then here the bathroom door opens not sure who it is I get nervous. Knowing that it definitely isn''t Sam next thing I know the shower curtain swings open. ¡°What are you doing I did not give you permission to use my shower did I?¡± I jump back knowing he came in, but he still scared me. ¡°I''m sorry I didn''t know that I had to ask to shower.¡± ¡°Just finish showering, we need to talk when you are finished.¡± ¡°Yes sure thing right away.¡± Not really sure what he is going to want to talk about, I am a little nervous. He never really talked to me before. Lilly are you ok I can feel your sadness and I want to be there for you. I''m fine, star I''m just broken, that''s all. Well, Lilly if you let me, I can try to help you I am your wolf let me in stop resisting. I''m sorry Star that I have been so mean to you, I''m just hurting so bad I just don''t know how to make it stop. Lilly let me try to help you. I want to allow her to help me, but I don''t deserve it. I shut off the water and grab a towel I dry myself I then put the same clothes on that I was wearing since I have no clean clothes in his room at the sure as hell was not asking for any of his. He does not waste anytime before he starts talking ¡°Lilly look, I''ve never wanted a mate. I don''t have luck with them, something always happens, I can''t protect them.¡± I look at him with confusion, not really sure what he''s talking about I thought you only get one mate. ¡°I am not your first mate, I am a second pick.¡± ¡°Actually, you are my third After I lost a second I figured that I will just be alone, and I was fine with that now you came along and totally threw me off guard.¡± ¡°My parents arranged a marriage from a powerful pack called the Night Walker pack, the Alpha''s daughter will be my Luna and wife.¡± Content (C) N?v/elDra/ma.Org. Then I realize how could I have been so blind the Alpha¡¯s daughter is Jenny they don''t have a son, this isn''t the Night Walker pack? I''ve been at a different pack this entire time, not even really realizing it. I am such a fool I was so lost in my grief that I didn''t even notice I was a rouge. ¡°Why not tell your parents that you found another mate?¡± ¡°A third mate is unheard of when I told my family. Everything was already rearranged, I can''t change it now. I will be taking over both packs as there Alpha. My pack will grow stronger than it ever could be, other packs will fear me.¡± ¡°So power is what is important to you, I have no ranking, I am just a nobody wolf that you got stuck with.¡± ¡°The mate bond is still there I won''t reject you I will need an heir. I can have a true heir for my pack I''m thankful, but I don''t want you.¡± ¡°Do you really expect me to just give you my child and not put up a fight I am the child''s mother not your Luna?¡± ¡°Once you give me an heir, I will let you leave never to return, I will let you go, but the child stays.¡± Star talks to me Lilly just pretend to ept it we will figure this out we will not allow him to take our child our pup. We will escapee up with a n to run where we will go I don''t know, but we will. You promise Star yes Lilly, I promise. I look at him not really sure what to say, I hate how things have turned out it''s insane how my life has just turned upside down. ¡°Why did you mark me if you are just going to let me go, why bother?¡± ¡°You left me no choice you kept defining me I needed to be able to make you listen.¡± ¡°That doesn''t give you the right to mark me to you now, I''m unable to even have a chance of happiness with somebody else because you marked me.¡± ¡°You had to be marked anyways so why not just get out of the way now instead ofter?¡± ¡°Oh yes for you to get what you truly want because you don''t care about how it affects anyone else.¡± ¡°Don''t talk to me in that tone you don''t have the right this might not be what you want, but this is what is going to happen.¡± ¡°The Luna will be here in a couple of days we will mate soon so be ready.¡± ¡°Why not just do it and get it done with now what is the point of waiting?¡± ¡°Stop raising your tone at me, I''m so sick of it I am your Alpha, respect me.¡± ¡°I was taught that you allow people to earn your respect, you have not earned any kind of respect from me.¡± I watch as his eyes go ck knowing that I pushed him to far hoping that he kills me. He grabs a hold of me and throws me on the bed. I know what is about to happen, but I wasn''t afraid I knew his wolf took over with rage from me resisting him. I try to push him off of me, his strength is overpowering my body. He doesn''t react to my trying to resist him, I know his wolf has taken over. His touch makes my body shiver, but it''s a mix with fear. I don''t want this, but he is not going to stop as he rips my clothes off of me. My body is exposed I try to escape him I know there is no use his strength is too great I can''t escape him. When he goes to unzip his pants, I think it''s the best time I could even have attempt to escape I jump up and I to go run he grabs me by my hair. I scream out to him ¡°please Ivan no don''t do this Ivan stop.¡± Before I can react, he bends me over the bed and thrusts his hard cock inside me, the pain is overwhelming tears form running down my cheeks, I let a whimper out ¡°please stop.¡± He doesn''t react to my words with every thrust pain radiating through my body. I''m not sure how much more I can take I tried to imagine Sam how gentle and sweet he was, but the pain is oveing. Each thrust is harder I start to feel faint I can''t handle it just letting go I let everything just go ck. chapter 11 chapter 11 As I wake up, I am still in the same spot on his bed with his scent surrounding me. Tears fill my eyes that he just left me naked on the bed with blood on the sheets, blood in my inner thighs. I go to get up, I''m sore my body trembles as I go to stand. I''m not sure what to do or how to react, I just shift and take off out of the house. As I run I see others looking at me but I don''t react I run the feeling that I once loved the most the wind blowing thru my fur is gone I feel nothing. I tell my wolf "I''m so sorry to disappoint you Star, but I can''t do this any longer, I am not going back to him; I don''t want to fight anymore it''s time that I join my family." I block her out so she don''t talk me out of it. His mark will always be a reminder of him I just can''t, I''m done I don''t have any more reason to fight. I never thought that he would have done that to me, I know that I provoked him and he wanted to prove to me that he is the one in control. He still had no right to do what he did to me, still feeling the pain he caused me all over my body. No one will ever do this to me ever again. I am done with anyone trying to control any part of my life. I push myself more than I have ever done before. I run as fast as I can knowing I can not be caught, not this time I''m disgusted with myself wondering why I was left to survive when I''m weak and pathetic. I began Wondering what I did so badly to deserve everything that has happened to me. With every twig that breaks from a distance, I be nervous knowing that he''s chasing me. I don''t want to go back to him; I don''t want to be controlled. He broke me; I was already broken, but he just finished the job. This life isn''t what I asked for, I can''t bear the pain any longer, I am exhausted from my life. I notice that I''m getting to the top of Wicked Falls there''s nowhere else to go but to jump. Knowing there is no way of survival once I leave the edge not caring, wanting to be with my family again and escape the life that was chosen for me. I then smell my mate not wanting him to capture me not wanting to go back to him a life that would be full of nothing but pain I look back at him in my wolf form I then shift to my human form and allow myself just fall backwards off the edge he pounces for me but he is tote he has no luck I am already falling. As I am falling, there is no fear. I feel free knowing that it''s all about toe to an end, I''m not scared. I feel my body smashing into the water. It''s not painful, it''s not anything but a little confusing, not sure what is happening. It''s almost like I feel like I am floating on a cloud to some unknown ce. I then see a familiar face and my eyes fill up with tears when I notice it is Landon, my brother. I am shocked and so happy at the same time he looks disappointed. I''m scared I am not sure if I can bear what he''s about to say to me. I left him to die with my family. He probably hates me. I know I hate myself every day for what happened. One of the best days that is supposed to be about celebration is now a day of mourning the loss of everyone I loved. I am so scared to face him. What if he doesn''t want anything to do with me? I freeze, not sure what to do I don''t know how to face him. ¡°Lilly it''s okay you don''t have to be scared¡± I hear him say ¡°I''m right here my sister.¡± ¡°I''m so sorry Landon for letting you die I wanted to save you, but I couldn''t get to you any of you.¡± ¡°It''s not your fault you did nothing wrong, everything happened the way it was supposed to.¡± ¡°I''m so lost and alone my mate is a monster I have no one that cares for me.¡± ¡°You will soon Lilly you are pregnant you are going to be a mother and have someone who loves you more than anything in this world.¡± ¡°Landon I don''t want to go back I don''t want to survive I want to die.¡± ¡°I''m sorry Lilly it''s just not your time you have so much to do in your life. It has a lot of purpose. Your life is going to be extraordinary. Just believe in yourself.¡± ¡°I am marked by the Alpha, and pregnant he has gotten what he wanted his heir he will know that I am alive, how will I escape him without him finding me.¡± ¡°Lilly you died, the mark was broken once your heart stopped beating you are free. You need to believe in yourself, stop all of this nonsense and start living. This baby is your family, a part of you.¡± Landon starts fading away a yell out to him toe back to me, but he does not. I''m not sure of what is happening, everything is so strange. I don''t feel alive, but I don''t feel dead either. I don''t feel anything I want to wake up, but I can''t, I''m stuck sleeping. Knowing that my body was to exhausted from all I have been doing, not taking care of myself didn''t help either. I just let go and let myself just rest knowing I''m safe with my brother watching over me, I have nothing that I need to worry about. It was an ident I was met to stay here without them, to do something extraordinary. I repeat what Landon told me over and over again trying to make myself believe in his words. Wondering even though my mark is broken by the Alpha of the Wicked Falls pack is he still my mate, or will I have a chance of happiness? Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. None of that matters. I am going to find happiness no matter what. I survived for a reason: I''m done being a pathetic little wolf. I need to take advantage of being alive. I have no idea what my n is, but I guess I will just have to figure it out as I go. I can feel my body healing from the fall I took when I jumped over Wicked Falls. My wolf is helping me heal my body. It is slowly healing, but I''m healing that is all that matters. I just hope that no one from the Wicked Falls pack finds me before I''m fully healed, so I can get as far away as I possibly can. I know that it wasn''t the smartest thing jumping over the falls, but I''m happy I did. I was weak, overtaken by grief with the loss of my family and my wicked mate. I needed to know that my family was ok and that they didn''t hate or me me for their death. A weight lifted off my shoulders I can breathe. I know it will not be easy, but now I have the will to survive. chapter 12 chapter 12 I wake up somehow uninjured. I coughed up the water, not even a bruise. I get up to collect myself from what just happened. I''m free from the Wicked Pack. I don''t have to worry about the Alpha any longer. I look on my shoulder to see if his mark is really gone, and it is I can''t believe that I died and then still survived. This is my 2nd chance at life and I will not disappoint my brother. I know the only reason that I survived that fall was because of him he healed me. My brother always believed in me more than I believed in myself, even though we liked to mess with each other a lot and sometimes even make each other miserable. We are always there for each other when one of us needs one another, no matter what. Now that I am free, I need to figure out what to do. I never left home before, I need to start to run. I don''t want to be seen by any pack members. I have been running for hours. I have not found another town yet to call home there was more wilderness than towns in ska. I want to leave ska all together, but I don''t have any money and I can not risk the Alpha picking up my scent. He will know I''m alive. Even though his mark was gone, unfortunately, he is still my mate. I don''t need a mate to be happy, I will be just fine. I hear crying, which is odd. I''m pretty deep in the woods. I follow the noise I see a child I''m not sure if it''s a boy or girl I start to approach the child when I see a bearing in full force I shift into my wolf and run I jump over the child and go straight towards the bear I aim for its throat trying to get it to run away. I can feel the bear''s long ws digging into my side. I''m trying to not kill the bear. I hate killing animals. I stand in front of the child and I let out a defense growl. Shockingly, the bear then turned around and left us. Run over to the child ¡°are you OK, are you hurt, where is your pack?¡± He looks at me with teary eyes and says, ¡°I am lost, I can''t find my way home.¡± ¡°What is the name of your pack, maybe I can help you?¡± Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. ¡°My daddy is the Alpha, it''s the Starlight Moon pack.¡± ¡°Well ok let''s try to figure out which direction to walk in which way did youe from.¡± "I don''t know what direction I walked I''m sorry." ¡° It''s okay buddy we will walk this way for a little and see if we find your family.¡± ¡°Thank you I was so scared my name is Jayden, but my friends call me Jay. You can call me Jay too if you want too.¡± Hello Jay, my name is Lilly I was d to help you, but we still need to find your family first. ¡°It''s only my dad and me, my mom died when I was born.¡± ¡°Oh buddy, I''m so sorry.¡± ¡°It''s okay you didn''t do anything Lilly stop I can smell my dad.¡± We stop and he starts to yell ¡°Daddy Daddy I''m over her.¡± I look around but don''t see anything. I get nervous. I then shift into my wolf. I don''t want to be caught off guard. I''m not sure where the boy¡¯s father is. I try to stay focused, but then I am knocked down to the ground by a big ck wolf I can feel his power radiating off of him. His canines are digging into my neck, I can''t move hoping he doesn''t kill me. The little boy then runs over "Daddy no she is my friend don''t hurt her." He then mind links me to shift back to your human now I shift back to my human embarrassed because I''m naked. ¡°Daddy take off your coat and give it to her, she doesn''t have any clothes on.¡± He takes his coat off and hands it to me, as I look at him and say ¡°thank you.¡± I am not sure what to say. I just stand there looking at him, he is so sexy. I can''t help but stare at his body. I almost feel like I am drooling. Lilly snap out of it, Star tells me, but I can''t help myself. His muscles and tattoos going down both of his arms, his 6 pack oh my God he''s so gorgeous. All of a sudden I feel a sharp pain that makes me snap out of how dreamy he is. I grab my side, I look at my hand and see blood. Must be where the bear got me on my side. I try not to make my pain known. I don''t want to show any kind of weakness in front of the alpha. ¡°All right Jayden, it''s time to go.¡± My eyes go teary eyed from all the pain I''m Feeling. ¡°Daddy no we can''t leave her here she''s hurt we need to help her daddy.¡± The little boy runs over to me, I kneel to him to face him ¡°It will be ok don''t you worry about me, you go home with your daddy and be safe try not to run off anymore.¡± ¡°No juste back, so you can heal then you can leave, I don''t want anything to happen to you.¡± ¡°It''s OK Jay I will be fine I will rest until it''s healed and then be on my way go with your daddy.¡± ¡°Jayden she is a rouge she is noting back to our pack she will put us all in danger.¡± ¡°Daddy, she saved me from danger. She jumped in front of a bear to protect me. How do you think she got hurt? It''s because of me the bear wed her.¡± ¡°Jayden I am not telling you again I don''t care what she did for you, she''s dangerous and I don''t want anything to do with her.¡± I see a figure in the woods behind the Alpha, I am not sure what the hell it is, but it''sing for him. He is leaning down talking to his son, trying to get him to understand why they don''t allow rouges in their pack. I tried to get his attention, but he didn''t react to me. Why should he don''t know me? Right before the Wolf lunges on him, I shift into my Wolf and jump in front of him, the Wolftches on to my neck I can barely breathe it hurts. I whimper out in pain, feeling terrible that his son is witnessing this. My body is losing its strength, I already lost too much blood from the bear attack now this. Not sure why I jumped in front of this Wolf to protect someone I don''t even know. I don''t want that boy to know how it feels to lose both of his parents. It''s not just something you get over, it haunts you and the pain of being alone is terrible. All of this has happened in the matter of seconds. My eyes start to go blurry as they are covered with tears. I don''t want to go to sleep, but I can''t stay awake any longer. My eyelids are getting so heavy. Even if I would take myst breath right now, it would be ok knowing I protected that boy from losing both of his parents. Everything is starting to fade away going ck as I fall into a slumber. chapter 13 chapter 13 Alpha Landon''s POV Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. I get knocked down to the ground not sure what just happened. I turn around, and I see a rouge attached to the woman''s neck. I don''t even know her name, but she saved me. Why would she risk her own life? I get up, shift into my wolf and fight the rouge off her neck as I dig my canines into the rouge neck rip a chuck out of his neck I watch as he falls dead to the ground to bleed out I show him no mercy. I look over and see her lying in a puddle of her own blood. When I see all the blood I be nervous, not sure if she will survive. Why would she endanger her life for mine, she doesn''t even know me? I have never met a rouge that cared about others; they were all vicious. As I kneel down to her to check her wounds, I notice that her wound is healing itself quite oddly. I''ve only ever seen this a couple of times. It''s very rare. I bet you she doesn''t even know what she really is. I looked over to see Jayden trembling. I feel awful I forgot all about him being here, he just watched me kill a man. I didn''t want him to see how cruel the world really is not at such a young age damn it. I ran over to him tofort him as I hugged him in my chest. I tell him. ¡°It''s ok Jayden she is going to be just fine I''m going to take her to the pack hospital they will help her you don''t have to worry.¡± ¡°Daddy she saved you there is so much blood daddy how is she going to be able to survive losing so much blood. ¡°Hey Jay everything will be ok she will make it I promise. I am going to pick her up. We are going to walk back to our territory and take her to Dean, so he can help her. You need to stay on guard while we are out of our territory.¡± ¡°Okay daddy I will do my best.¡± As I''m carrying her, I''m examining her body, she is absolutely beautiful, she has no scars, no blemishes, her skin is perfect. She is a Healer Wolf I just know she is they are so rare honestly I thought they all died out. The only way that she could ever die is getting her heart ripped out from her chest, that''s the only way you can kill a Healer Wolf. The body easily heals them, but you cannot heal when your heart is ripped from your chest. She is truly one of a kind first she saves my son then she saves me. She''s an angel. I judged her way too soon, I hope she will forgive me. As we are walking back to my pack and I am getting nervous being out in the open, Jay is too young to defend himself. I am too far away to mind link my Beta, so I decide to let out a howl for help. I let out 3 howls, separated every 5 minutes until help came. It would be easier for them to hear my howl, so they woulde to help me faster. I really could use all the help I could get at the moment. ¡°Alpha who is that you are carrying what happened?¡± ¡°Take Jayden back to the house. I need to take her to Dean. I will exin everythingter just please do as you''re told.¡± As I''m rushing through the woods to get to Dean, my Betaes to help. Hoping that I''m right, that she is, in fact, a Healer Wolf, so she will survive, I don''t want to be the reason for someone else''s death. ¡°Landon, what the hell happened who is that you''re carrying.¡± ¡°We can talk after I get her to Dean''s house she needs to make it just stay with us just in case there are more rouges thate.¡± ¡°Of course, do you want me to carry her the rest of the way to give you a break?¡± ¡°No, I''m fine just stay on guard.¡± Not wanting anyone else touching her naked body, she is so exposed I try to hide her. Knowing that safety is right ahead of us where my territory begins. We don''t leave our territory often, not sure why Jayden would have left he knew better? When we reach our territory I am d we reached it safely, knowing the doctor¡¯s house isn''t far. Once we get there, I open the door, I yell out. ¡°Dean, I need your help, please help.¡± He runs towards me, as he helps me clear a table toy her on. ¡°What happened to her?¡± ¡°There was a rouge that wasing for me from behind, and she jumped to prevent the attack on me and the rouge got her by the neck.¡± ¡°Do you know this girl?¡± ¡°No, I don''t know her, I have never seen her until today.¡± ¡°Dean, I think she maybe a Healer.¡± ¡°She can''t be a Healer that is impossible.¡± ¡°I saw her wound around her neck healing almost instantly. It was insane I have only ever heard stories that my grandmother told me.¡± He goes to check the wounds on her neck arepletely healed there isn''t even a scar. That is impossible to heal that fast. If she is healed, then why is she still unconscious. Dean looks at me, surprised. ¡°I think that you are right that she is indeed a Healer. How is that possible?¡± ¡°Dean, I don''t think that she knows what she is. Why is she still unconscious if she is a Healer she should wake up?¡± ¡°She probably never even heard of them. She needs to gain all the blood she lost when she is fully healed. She will wake up.¡± ¡°Do you mind if I stay with her until she is awake?¡± ¡°Yes, that is fine let me get you a chair, so you can have a seat.¡± ¡°Dean, how is it even possible that she is a Healer they have been wiped out for generations.¡± ¡°I really don''t know but if she is running from her pack because she knows she is Healer and her pack knows it''s possible she could be in danger they will want her back.¡± ¡°I don''t believe that she knows what she is because she did not use any defense maism against that rouge.¡± ¡°It is so unheard of that whatever pack that she is from might have never even heard of her kind.¡± ¡°Do you think that we should tell her what she is?¡± ¡°I don''t know I don''t think we should tell her now until we figure it out if she really is one. There are tests that I can do to figure it out. Not medically, but there are ways I can try to figure it out you need to keep her around.¡± I can''t believe that she is still alive that her wound is clearly healed, but she is yet unconscious while her body is gaining the blood she has lost, it is really possible that she is what I think she is. I know that she was trying to help us, I''ve been angry for so long that I don''t see when someone is trying to be kind. I still don''t know the reasoning behind why Jayden would leave our territory: It''s so unheard of. Even if she is a Healer, I will not leave my guard down, I need to keep my pack protective, and she may just bring danger. As she lies on the table I prop up a pillow underneath her head and cover her up, she looks so innocent that''s what most Healers look like her dark Brown hair is beautiful. Healers can be so seductive that they draw anybody to them. I don''t know why I wasn''t instantly drawn to her. I don''t know if it''s maybe because I have been broken for so many years that I no longer have a heart. I won''t allow myself to be drawn to anybody. I can''t let her stay here once she is fully healed and gets on her feet, she must leave. I don''t allow new members in my pack, especially people that may bring danger to my people. chapter 14 chapter 14 LILLY''S POV I wake up in an unknown ce not knowing where I am clean and smell likevender with a pair of grey sweatpants and a t-shirt on. I jump up off the bed and start nning my escape. That''s when I see Jayden smiling at me. ¡°Yay you''re awake I was so worried about you my daddy left me visit with you every day.¡± ¡°You came and visited me every day that was so thoughtful of you how long have I been sleeping for.¡± ¡°A lot of days I was wondering if you were ever going to wake up it took forever.¡± ¡°Where is your father at?¡± ¡°He is upstairs, why do you want him for?¡± ¡°I just need to ask him something. I''ll be right back ok.¡± I go to find the Alpha . I don''t want to create any issues. I know that he does not want me to be here. He made that very clear in the woods. As I''m walking up the stairs I don''t hear anything. I see the first door, it''s closed, so I knock when I don''t hear anything I go to open the door. My God, my mouth drops, the Alpha is standing there naked. Just by looking at him fire lights up inside me wanting him. I can''t stop staring, he is such a beautiful man fuck. ¡°Hello, what are you doing in my room?¡± he says as he is snapping his fingers at me, I then snap out of my gaze embarrassed and spin around. ¡°I''m so sorry I didn''t mean to interpret you, I just wanted to talk to you.¡± ¡°Why don''t you go ahead downstairs and I will be down after I get dressed.¡± I turn around and look at him ¡°yeah that will be fine I''ll wait in the dining room.¡± I then realize I am looking at him naked again. I go to turn around a hit my face off the door fuck that hurt I smile at him ¡°oops¡± so embarrassing I can''t believe that I just did that. I don''t walk down the stairs I run down the stairs away from him so embarrassing saying to myself what just happened. God, I humiliated myself. I can''t believe that I acted that way towards him damn it just had to be no one else other than the freaking Alpha what is wrong with me. ¡°Jayden runs over to me. What happened to your head?¡± I look at him, ¡°what are you talking about?¡± ¡°Your head is bleeding.¡± Of course my head is bleeding, damn it, I''m such a fool. ¡°Hey buddy could you be a big help and run to the kitchen and get me a towel for my head please.¡± ¡°Okay I''ll be right back,¡± he smiles at me. ¡°Thank you so much buddy I really appreciate it.¡± I feel so dumb I can not believe the way I acted in front of the Alpha. I know that he doesn''t like me as it is, I bet that was just icing on the cake for him. I see sweet Jayden running back with a towel he hands it to me ¡°thank you buddy you''re probably my only friend.¡± I put the towel on my head, then I see the Alphaing downstairs. I jump to my feet nervously wanting to be respectful. I stand only to fall as he catches me. ¡°I''m so sorry I didn''t mean to fall on you¡± as I look into his eyes I see so much sadness wondering what has happened to him. ¡°Are you going to make a habit out of invading my space?¡± ¡°Look ill be right out of your hair I just wanted to know how long I have been out for.¡± ¡°You have been out for about 2 weeks, you don''t have to leave, you just need to respect boundaries.¡± ¡°Look, that was all an ident I did not mean to stare at you and tripping I''m just clumsy.¡± ¡°We do need to talk alone. I''m going to call the nanny toe and get Jayden, so we can talk alone.¡± ¡°Well would I be able to get a shower if you don''t mind, I think it has been a little awhile since I have gotten one.¡± ¡°That is fine you can use my shower in my bedroom just don''t touch anything.¡± ¡°Thank you I need a towel and washcloth and some clothes too.¡± ¡°Is there anything else I can get you.¡± ¡°No, that will be it, thank you so much.¡± ¡°Lilly will you be here when Ie back.¡± ¡°Jayden I won''t leave without saying goodbye first I promise.¡± ¡°You pinky swear cross your heart.¡± ¡°Yes buddy, I pinky swear cross my heart.¡± Ok, well I''m going to shower thank you for everything I really appreciate. I walk up the stairs to his bedroom. I try not to look or touch anything. I just go straight into the bathroom. I start the water to let it warm. I take my clothes off looking for the scar from my attack, but nothing. I have never gotten a scar in my life, but the way the bear ripped into my side I don''t know I didn''t get one. I go and get in the shower as my body is rxing from the warm pouring over top of me. I wash myself, but I stay in longer, loving the way the water is making me feel. I hear a knock at the door ¡°can you hurry up? I don''t have all day waiting around for you.¡± ¡°Yes I will get out now sorry I was enjoying the water.¡± I go to look out, notice that I am talking to myself that know one is there.¡± Well then he is a real gem sort of dick if you ask me, I won''t allow him to treat me this way I really don''t know who the hell he thinks he is. I get out of the shower to dry myself and get dressed as soon as I open the door I see him. ¡°Where you really staying outside the door waiting for me to finish?¡± ¡°Yes we need to talk about what your n is.¡± ¡°I don''t have a n, just going with it.¡± ¡°Why were you alone in the woods what brought you to my territory.¡± I want to tell him the truth, but I don''t know him, I don''t know if I can trust him. I don''t know what to say to him, I can''t tell him the truth. ¡°I left my pack and ended up hearing Jayden yelling for help, so I went to him and saw a bear that was ready to attack . I scared it away then you came along.¡± ¡°What pack were you a part of.¡± ¡°I''m not sure if you need to know that.¡± ¡°If you wish to be a part of my pack I want to know if you are going to bring trouble with you.¡± ¡°I don''t want to be a part of your pack, so you don''t have to worry.¡± ¡°Why don''t you want to be a part of my pack what do you find that you do not like.¡± ¡°I don''t want to belong to anybody, I just want to be free, I don''t want to be a part of a pack that just wants to control me.¡± ¡°You know if you''re not a part of a pack that your Wolf could turn vicious.¡± T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°I haven''t been part of a pack for weeks now, and I feel just fine. I don''t want to be held hostage and not be allowed to do what I want.¡± Someone walks into the Room I don''t recognize them, it''s an older gentleman. ¡°Alpha Landon, can I talk to you for a minute,¡± please, the man says? My God his name is Landon just like my brother is this a sign that maybe I am supposed to be here. I don''t want to be forced to do things that I don''t want to do, I just want to be free. I don''t know what I am supposed to do in this world, I''m just searching for answers not wanting to be tied down by anyone. Stares in and says ¡°he seems really nice Lilly, maybe you should give him a chance we don''t have to be apart from his pack. It would just be nice to have somewhere to stay in till we figure out our n.¡± I agree, but I don''t want to get no attachments. The Alpha walks back in the room and says. ¡°Look Lilly if you don''t want to stay that is your choice but if you wouldn''t mind staying for at least a week for your injuries to fully heal.¡± ¡°OK, I will stay. I will follow your rules, but I am not a puppet on a string that you can control just know that.¡± ¡°I don''t try to control anybody and just so you know that all I want to do as an Alpha is to protect my pack and that all that matters to me.¡± chapter 15 chapter 15 He is So cocky, like why does he automatically think that I want to be a part of his pack I don''t need him? I don''t need anybody I don''t have anybody it will be easier that way. I don''t know if I could really handle losing someone else I care about it is best for me to just distance myself from the world. Before he wanted nothing to do with me, he wanted me to leave what is so different now. Even though I saved his life that doesn''t mean anything I am one of the kinds that he hates the most a rouge. Maybe it''s because I am not the person who bows down to his feet, I am not going to anytime soon. Even though he is sexy as hell And I would love to fill his hands all over my body. I need to snap out of it I mean I guess I will agree to stay for now but once I am healed, I will leave. I am so far into thought I didn''t even realize that there was someone else in the Room. ¡°Hello Lilly, my name is Dean I am the pack doctor.¡± ¡°Hi it''s a pleasure to meet you thank you so much for helping me.¡± ¡°I think you need to understand that your body needs to adjust to healing. The best thing for you to do right now is probably just take it easy for the next couple of weeks.¡± ¡°You want me to stay here for weeks is that really necessary.¡± ¡°Yes it is especially for your pup your body isn''t healing but it''s also adjusting to your pregnancy.¡± ¡°What my pup I''m pregnant you have to be joking this can''t be true.¡± ¡°I am not joking you are indeed pregnant you need to take good care of yourself for your pup.¡± I am shocked by his words I never thought that I would be pregnant my brother did say I Would be loved and have my own I didn''trealize it would be so soon. Now it is not the time I don''t even know where my life is going how am I going to be able to raise a pup. I can''t be a rouge now it would be putting my pup into danger. I can see the doctor''s lips moving, but I hear nothing I am in shock. Now I''m just terrified what is going to happen will I be able to offer anything to my pup I''m going to lose my shit then I hear a sweet voice inside my head ¡°Lilly it will be OK I will help you along the way no matter what you have me your wolf Star? His words shattered my world now everything has changed. What am I going to do now I am not going back to where I was I will never return there? I snap out of my thoughts by someone shaking me Lilly ¡°I know that this is all hard to take in at once. You would be putting yourself in a lot of danger running alone.¡± Tears start to form in my eyes and run down my cheeks ¡°I don''t want to belong to anybody.¡± ¡°Being a part of my pack does not mean I own you will still have your own free will.¡± ¡°Why are you being nice to me all of a sudden you once hated me what changed your mind.¡± ¡°You risked your life to save not only my son, but mine as well. The least I could do is help you and your pup.¡± I look at the doctor and I look at Landon ¡°I need time to think, please just give me some time to let all of this sink in.¡± ¡°Of course take some time to let all of this sink in we will leave you.¡± I don''t know what to think right now I''m in so much in shock that I''m pregnant Ivan got what he wanted, and it makes me angry that I''m going to have to carry his pup. All that he has done to me now I will have a reminder every day. I know that I shouldn''t feel this way, I should be overjoyed and excited to bing a mother. There is noparing to my mother I will never be as good as she was. I fall to my knees and scream why is all this happening to me it¡¯s too much for one person. I was just getting ready to find myself how am I going to be able to do that with a child. Why is my life so damn Lilly now stop beating yourself up all that has happened to you, it was out your control. You should be grateful that you survived. You have a chance of living a full life, a happy life. The only person who is capable of taking that from you is yourself. Nothing is easy you have to fight for everything doesn''t give you reason to give up. Stop not believing in yourself you are stronger than what you think. Your pup is going to need you He or she will be the center of our entire life. We will survive and give our pup the best possible life possible, I promise you that. Star tries to reassure me her words cut through me like a knife I can do this I am just scared. I pick myself up off the ground I realize I don''t need anyone my life will be what I allow it to be. I''m not going to give up I need to stay strong I now have a reason for existence. This is what my brother was talking about I can''t let him down. I know that it''s not going to be easy, but I have no other choice but to fight it is not just about me any longer. I put my hands on my belly and whisper I''m going to try to give you the best life possible peanut. Everything I do will be for you. Star Says don''t worry Lilly we can do this. Deep down I know that she is right, but I''m just scared to be responsible for another life. I try to gather myself before I go back in front of the Alpha I don''t want to seem weak. I know that he wants to no my story, but I''m not ready to tell him. I don''t trust him he might know Ivan and I don''t want him to hand me over to him. He did not give me any reason not to trust him, but I believe that trust is earned, and he hasn''t earned it yet. I walk into the other room where Alpha Landon and Dean are they look at me, I can see concern in their eyes. I say to them Look, I am surprised by all this, but I will not be controlled. I will stay, but I''m not anyone''s puppet.¡± ¡°Look Lilly, I don''t know why you think that we just want to control you that is not the cause. There is something else you need to know about yourself.¡± ¡°What are you talking about, oh my God, and I''m I having twins I can''t handle two babies oh my go.d¡± I feel like I''m going to pass out what am I going to do. Deanes over and grabs my hand trying to reassure me ¡°no my dear, you''re not carrying twins.¡± "It''s a little moreplicated than that there are test I can do, but I don''t want to while your pregnant.¡± ¡°I''m confused what are you talking about.¡± ¡°Have you ever heard of a Healer Wolf?¡± ¡°No, I have not.¡± ¡°Your generation would have not been taught about a Healer Wolf it is probably because to be honest we didn''t think they existed any longer.¡± Original content from N?velDrama.Org. ¡°So why are you telling me about them now if they do not exist?¡± ¡°I''m not 100% sure, but I think that you may be a Healer Wolf because of how you heal. No other Wolf would have survived what you have suffered. You have no scars or blemishes your skin is perfect.¡± I''m not sure what to say I mean any time I have ever got hurt I always healed faster than my brother. I smile when I remember how mad he would get when I would heal and his wound would still hurt. He always said that it was because I had superpowers. I am not even sure what a Healer even is. My parents would have told me they would have never hidden it from me right. ¡°Wait, wouldn''t my wolf know she was a Healer Wolf if she had some hidden abilities?¡± ¡°Not necessarily wolfs need to be trained to bring their abilities out.¡± ¡°Abilities, what kind of abilities are you talking?¡± ¡°Every Healer is different, but I can''t test my theory until after your pup would be born I don''t want to risk anyplications to your pup.¡± ¡°That is a lot of information is their way we can just take a break from all this talking please.¡± ¡°Sure, if you want to talk more about it, you know where I''m at.¡± chapter 16 chapter 16 I rushed out of there in a hurry like I was running for my life I am so overwhelmed by all this information. Is this why I survived the crash that killed my family? Thinking that Landon my brother saved me after jumping off Wicked Falls when it was my ability that saved me. It is a blessing to most but a cruse to me. I would be with my family if I wasn''t cursed. It''s not fair I should have died with my family I would be with them instead of living this world in misery. Finding happiness almost feels impossible at this put. I can''t take it any longer I shift into my wolf and decide to go for a run. I need to clear my head this is the only way I know how to do so. All I keep thinking about is how much my life has changed in such a small period of time. I run faster and faster, loving the feeling of the cold breeze blowing through my fur. It almost makes me feel a sense of power. I''m not sure what is going to be in store for me, I don''t like this feeling of uncertainty. I am not just going to be a mother, but I also might be a Healer Wolf whatever the hell that is. All I want is to have some control I''m so lost in thought I then realize how far I have gone I stop then I hear more footsteps I realize that I''m being followed. I shift in to my human and climb a nearby tree. I didn''t realize that the Alpha followed me this whole time I jump down the tree in front of him naked not hiding my body wanting him to look at me. He mind links me ¡°what are you doing?¡± ¡°I look into his wolfs eyes and tell him to shift.¡± As I watch him shift into his human, I can feel my pussy bing wet, craving him wanting him to touch me. I walk up to him, I can feel his breath on my skin. I say fuck it and connect his lips to my lips my body is going wild feeling so much pleasure I can''t help but to moan out for him. He goes to pick me up I wrap my legs around his waist knowing he can feel my wetness that he is creating in between my legs. I want his hard cock inside of me so fucking bad. He then rests my backT¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. against a tree as he begins kissing me, down my chest while he is creasing my breast. I scream out ¡°yes God, yes you make me feel so good.¡± As he eases my grip that I have around his waist so he can thrust his hard throbbing cook inside me ¡°fuck yes¡± I can''t help but scream. With every thrust, I can feel my pussy getting wetter for him, shocked at how good he makes me feel. Not wanting him to cum I look at him ¡°don''t youe, yet I''m not done yet.¡± He then puts me on my feet and smacks my ass ¡°bend over now¡± as he grips my ass and using his other hand to finger my pussy. As I''m trying to control my breathing but not being able to hide how much pleasure he is giving me. He then inserts his hard throbbing cock into my pussy he is not fucking me . As he fucks me faster and faster I listen to his moan as I orgasm not once but twice I then feel his warm liquid filling my pussy. He releases the grip that he had on my hips I look at him and smile knowing that was exactly what I needed. I feel so much relief after all the pleasure he has given me I''m not really sure what to say I just look at him and say ¡°thank you.¡± He smiles back ¡°yeah your wee thank you.¡± ¡°Lilly, I think that we should really start heading back and if you don''t mind, can we keep what happen just between us.¡± ¡°Yes, that is actually a good idea lets get going then.¡± I shift into my wolf and head back to the house I came from. I really hope that the Alpha doesn''t want anything else from me. I am not about to belong to anyone I want to be able to do whatever or whoever I want to. Not really sure where this shot of confidence came from, but I like it. I want to feel this way all the time. Once I get back to the house he doesn''t say anything either do I damn I forgot to let a change of clothes outside, so I wait to shift until I get back into the house? Then I realize I have no clothes That I shredded my clothes when I shifted into my wolf not having anything to wear. I''m not sure what to do I stand there naked then Dean walks in I''m embarrassed I cover myself with my hands. When he notices me, he hurries and turns around. ¡°I''m sorry I don''t have any clothes I wasn''t thinking when I shifted and shattered what I had on.¡± ¡°It''s ok I will get you some clothes I''ll be right back.¡± ¡°Thank you so much.¡± I wait for him toe back once hees back he hands me some clothes. Definitely not the most fashionable clothes, but I''m ok with that. I put the pair of sweatpants and sweatshirt on, feeling relieved that I have clothes on. ¡°He looks at me, I know this is all hard to understand and take in all at once. I don''t know what pack you were from you don''t need to tell me. We take care of each other in our pack we care nobody is forced to do anything that they don''t choose to do.¡± I haven''t really been around anybody who has really cared about me for a while now I don''t recognize it when people are just being genuine. I want to trust them I want to be a part of a pack. I don''t know why I am so afraid, but I am I don''t want to belong to anyone I just want to be free. I also believe If I allow myself to care about others it will allow myself to get hurt. I looked at him and I say, ¡°I appreciate everything that you guys have done for me. I have been through so much these past couple of months. I have forgotten that there are good people just please give me time.¡± ¡°You can take as much time as you need there is no rush just no you''re not alone, not anymore.¡± ¡°Thank you so much for being so kind I really appreciate it.¡± ¡°I will get Landon to show you where your quarters will be, so you can have your own space. I will also get you some clothes, so you have stuff to wear.¡± ¡°Thank you for everything you really have no idea how much this means to me.¡± ¡°Lilly, you are special, and I know you don''t understand what makes you special, but you will. Just keep the Healer Wolf between us for now I don''t want a lot to know what you are.¡± ¡°Why is it bad being that kind of Wolf?¡± ¡°No it''s not bad it''s extraordinary it''s just I don''t want you to be in any kind of danger if people find out what you are they might want you.¡± ¡°I mean, it''s possible that I am not what you say I am right.¡± ¡°Of course anything is possible.¡± I try not to be concern you can''t change what is already if I am this Healer wolf I can''t change it why not embrace it. I just need to ept that I may be different from all the other wolves which I''m fine with. Landon walks in ¡°I''m not interrupting anything I was going to show you where your quarters will be. If you two need a couple of minutes, I can alwayse back.¡± ¡°No that''s alright you can show me to my room I really would like to take a rest. Dean, thank you so much for everything.¡± ¡°If you need anything like I said before, you know where I''m at.¡± chapter 17 chapter 17 I am going to be introduced to the pack today. I am sort of nervous. I mean I don''t care what they think, but I want them to like me. I have never been a social butterfly that was my brother. I was always hiding from people. I am excited to meet new people. I am just not sure how they''re going to react to me. This pack does not allow new members very rarely. I didn''t officially say that I want to be a part of the pack. They aren''t going to say anything untilter, so the pack doesn''t find it disrespectful if I say no. I got my own little cottage. It is so small but so sweet at the same time. I love that I have my very own bathroom not having to share one is pretty amazing. I love how open it is. I think it''s pretty amazing to have my own space. Everything is furnished. I got my own bed, a little Mini fridge and microwave which is plenty for me, I''m not one toin especially for their hospitality and their eptance. I was also grateful that some of thedies of the pack gave me some clothes. Not the nicest clothes, but I really don''t need the nicest clothes I just need something to cover my body. I know that my stomach is going to get bigger in time. I am just hoping I will be able to provide. I want to contribute to the pack. I don''t know how I can; I am hoping that they will tell me. I know not everyone is going to be happy that they allowed me to join. I am hoping the reasoning behind it maybe is just simply as me saving their Alpha. Wondering why they don''t want anyone to know what they think I am. I''m just happy to know that no matter what, I am going to be in control of my own life. Happy that they have left me to make my own choices and not try to force anything on me. They let me choose to stay or to leave but knowing I am pregnant I need to take care of my pup. I have absolutely no idea how I am going to do it, but I guess I will figure it out as I go. Seeing that it is bing daylight, I know that the Alpha will being. I need to start getting ready for the day. I want to help toplete the chores and do things that the werewolves need help with. I don''t want the other wolves to think that I am not just living here for free and not contributing to anything. I want to be treated equally with the other pack members. I know that this pack isn''t very big, it will need fighters, and I''m trained to defend. Being pregnant, I''m not sure if that is the greatest idea. When I''m shown around, I will ask what I can help with, so I can contribute. Original content from N?velDrama.Org. I get up and look in the mirror seeing that my hair looks crazy. I decided to put some water in my hands and put it through my hair hoping it would help even if it is just a little bit. I would be grateful I don''t want to look crazy, anyway. Once I get my hair under control, I pick out just simple clothes: a pair of ck leggings and a sweatshirt. Happy that the clothes are big on me, I love to befortable. Once I look in the mirror, all my worries disappear. No matter how I look I am full of confidence because I know how beautiful I am. I don''t want to be overly confident, but I am not going to let anybody treat me like I don''t belong. I am going to stand my ground and not take any shit from anyone. I want to stay strong. I don''t want to be weak, there''s no room to be weak. I feel that this pack will ept me because their Alpha has epted me. If they don''t ept me, then it is their loss. I am not going to kiss their ass for any kind of eptance from them. I know that I am overthinking all of this. I am not this kind of person But I need to be. I hear a knock at the door. It must be the Alpha he must be ready for me now he is a little early most men arete so. When I go to open the door it''s not alpha, it''s little Jayden so excited to see his cute little face. ¡°Hi Lilly, my daddy said that he is going to let you meet some of our people just to make sure you weren''t nervous.¡± ¡°Why should I be nervous? Are they scary?¡± ¡°No, they''re not scary they are just sometimes weird. Then again all grown-ups are weird.¡± I make a frowny face jokingly, ¡°are you saying I''m weird.¡± He smiles at me and let''s out a giggle knowing Lily not you your not weird you''re awesome. I walk over to him and tickle his stomach as heughs out loud. I say ¡°I better be awesome because I thought we were best friends.¡± He is trying to catch his breath from me tickling him ¡°Lilly you are my best friend Lilly you are, please stop tickling me.¡± So, I stop tickling him all over ¡°I better be your best friend.¡± ¡°I am really happy that you came and visited me Jayden thank you for being such a great friend.¡± ¡°You''re wee Lilly I really hope that we can be friends forever and ever.¡± I don''t know forever is a long time I would love to promise you Jayden that I will be there for you forever and ever, but I can''t make promises that I don''t know if I''m going to be able to keep. ¡°So I Smile and say ¡°why don''t we just be happy for right now forever just seems way too long to make promises.¡± ¡°Lilly if you''re ready I can take you to my daddy''s house if you want me to.¡± ¡°Of course Jayden, I will follow you.¡± As I watch sweet Jayden run in front of me, he is so full of life I bet the Alpha is so proud of him for the man that he will be. I know that this sounds crazy, but Jayden is the reason how I know I still have a heart, a loving caring heart about others. I want to be cold, but that makes me no better than the alpha that treated me so terribly. I don''t know my path that I''m going to be on, and it makes me crazy. I do know that no matter what I am going to do the best I can for my child and myself. Not allow anyone else control any part of my life. I need to stop resisting life and start living and that is what I''m about to do starting right now. chapter 18 chapter 18 As we are walking over to the Alpha''s house, Jayden is so excited. He wants to show me his room and all his favorite toys. I was never the one to really make friends thinking it''s funny the first friend that I actually make I am twice their age. There''s something different about Jayden from all the other people I have been around, I sense a connection with him. I am not even sure what it really is, but he makes me feel at ease. When I see his house I am surprised it''s just like any other ordinary house. Usually, the Alpha has a bigger house than anyone in the pack, almost like a mansion. When we go to walk into their house I hear a familiar voice. I am not clear who it is, but I recognize it and I be nervous. If I recognized the voice, that means there from where I lived. Before I can react and run away, so they don''t see me. That''s when I see her oh my god it''s Jenny. I tried to hide, but there''s no hiding she has already seen me. Hoping she doesn''t recognize me knowing I was quite invisible at school. How I recognize her is because my brother was obsessed with her, which was sort of weird. Jayden runs up to her, I am surprised, not really sure what his rtionship is to her. ¡°Aunt Jenny, I didn''t know you wereing, are you staying.¡± Aunt Jenny does this mean that Landon is Jenny''s brother. I''m confused, I did not know that she even had a brother. I try to run away, but my curiosity is getting the best of me I want to know. As she is approaching me I am starting to get nervous, wondering if she knows who I am. It''s quite possible that she doesn''t. It''s not like we have ever spoken before. Jayden is pulling her closer to me, I want to run, but I don''t want to make it obvious. ¡°Jenny, this is my new best friend Lilly.¡± As she is getting close to me, I am getting nervous. Hoping she does not know who I am. ¡°Is this the Lilly that saved my little nephew and my brother from almost getting killed.¡± ¡°Yes Jenny, she saved us.¡± Before I can react I feel tightness around my body Realizing that she is hugging me. She whispers in my ear, ¡°thank you so much for saving my family.¡± I then realize I can rx now she does not know who I am, which makes me so d. ¡°It really was no problem at all they needed help So I helped.¡± As Landon is starting to approach all of us I see that he is with somebody I then realize oh my god it''s Sam. Jenny grabs a hold of me, takes me by the hand and rushes me over to him. I be nervous. I know that he is going to recognize me. Is he going to turn me over to his Alpha What am I going to do. I want to push her away, I want to run, I''m going to have to face it? When he looks over to me, he makes direct eye contact. I can tell that he is stunned that he is not sure what to say to me. ¡°Oh my god Lilly, is that really you I thought you were dead?¡± ¡°No, I''m very much alive you can''t tell him please he will never let me be free from him.¡± Everyone stares at us with confusion, not understanding what is happening at the moment. I look at Sam with desperation on my face, not wanting Ivan to find out the truth. I want to run, but there won''t be anywhere to run to if Ivan knows I''m alive. Landon looks at Sam, surprised. ¡°What is going on here, how do you know her?¡± Sam looks at me with sadness in his eyes ¡°she''s just a friend that I met a while back ago.¡± I know that Landon can tell that he is lying, but he doesn''t push the subject. ¡°Alright then, that doesn''t really exin very much, but I''ll let it go for now.¡± I realize I need to tell him the truth. I don''t want to put anybody into danger. Knowing that I can''t stay here, I have to leave. I don''t want to run, but I don''t know if I have any other choice. I can''t live a life in fear, especially if there is a connection to Ivan. As much as I don''t want to say it, but I want to know. ¡°So what are all your guys'' connections? How do you know each other?¡± Landon looks at me surprised, ¡°Jenny is my sister and that is the Beta of her husband.¡± Jenny looks at Landon ¡°don''t you call him my husband it wasn''t my choice to marry him. We aren''t even married, yet I am still trying to get away out of it.¡± Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. Heughs ¡°you know father will never let you out of this arrangement.¡± ¡°That''s why I came here for your help. I need to find my mate, so he can mark me before it happens.¡± ¡°How do you expect me to help you find your mate? I don''t know who it is, you''re not 18, yet you can''t even pick up his scent?¡± As they are deep in conversation, I am stunned by everything that is happening, scared of what might happen if they know who I really am. I know that I have power if Dean. Is right then, I will never belong to anyone. I will be free to do as I, please never be forced to do anything. I run out of the house. I need to talk to Dean. I need to tell him the truth about me. Even if it means him asking me to leave, I need his advice on what to do. I don''t really trust anybody, but I don''t have a choice. If I need to run, I need to know now. I refuse to sit around and be somebody''s puppet. I know that I''m strong. I just don''t know how strong I really am. I have always felt different, didn''t really know there was a reason behind it. I ran into his house yelling ¡°Dean are you here please I need to talk to you please.¡± I fall to my knees in desperation. I''m overwhelmed when he sees me. He runs over to me as he tries tofort me, but I lose control and start to cry. ¡°Lilly what has happened are you ok?¡± My family is dead, they died in a car ident, I''m alone. My mate took me in to be his breeder; he didn''t want me as his mate. He promised to marry someone else. I was so lost in grief I thought I deserved all of it, my mate loss control and raped me. I felt so defeated that I wanted to die, so I jumped off wicked falls thinking I was going to die. Then my brotheres to me, tells me that it''s not my time and I wake up. That is my story and my mate is know one other than Alpha Ivan the one that Jenny is to marry. Then to find that Jenny is Landon''s sister which is crazy. ¡°Lilly, I need you just to im down, so we can figure this out together, but I need you to calm yourself.¡± I sit and take deep breaths trying to rx myself not realizing when I see my reflection through the mirror across from me my eyes are glowing green. I''m not sure what the hell is happening. I have never seen my eyes glow this way. I realize then I am different from everyone else. I need to figure out all that I can. I also think Jayden is different, and that''s why I feel the need to be around him to protect him. Could he be a Healer too I sense it I know what he is but do they? I''m lost in thoughts, not realizing I''m still focused on my reflection. Until Dean snaps me out of it. ¡°Lilly are you OK are you calm now?¡± ¡°Do you know that Jayden is also a Healer?¡± ¡°We expected that he was, but I wasn''t sure until you came.¡± ¡°Am I going to be able to stay here or do I need to leave.¡± ¡°Why would you have to leave?¡± ¡°Sam Alpha''s Ivan Beta also saw me. I don''t know if he will tell.¡± ¡°Lilly you don''t need to run, you are strong you can stay and stand your ground.¡± ¡°I need to start my training now I need to know what I am capable of.¡± ¡°Ok your training will start tomorrow.¡± ¡°For now, I need to talk to Sam before he leaves.¡± As I rush out the door to go back to the house, I feel a grip on my arm that pulls me away. I realize it is Sam god his touch feels so delightful. ¡°Lilly, we need to talk.¡± chapter 19 chapter 19 I grab his hand and lead him to my cabin, so we can have some privacy to talk. ¡°Sam, are you going to tell Ivan I''m here?¡± He thens his lips onto my lips as he shoves my body against the wall he then starts to kiss me down my neck and biting me I moan out in pleasure. Letting him give me the pleasure that he desires. I put my arms above my head for him to take my sweater off. He grips it and takes it off of me, then he starts to suck on my nipples and flickering my nipples with his tongue. I can feel my body light on fire as my pussy is bing wet. ¡°Lilly, I have missed you so much have you missed me?¡± He asked while he is putting his hand down my pants and started rubbing my clit. I can barely talk to him, he is giving me so much pleasure I can''t constraint on my words fuck he makes me feel so good. I fight to get my words toe as he begins to rub my clit faster and faster. ¡°Yes, I have missed you, especially your touch.¡± I moan out loudly as I have my first orgasm. He doesn''t stop rubbing my clit. I try to move away from him to get him to stop because the pleasure is too much he pulls my body back in. He then picks me up and throws me onto my bed I giggle out of excitement for what is about toe. He then goes down and kisses my pussy with his lips as licks up all my juice off of me. He takes my legs and lifts them in the air. I then feel him thrust his hard cock into my pussy. I scream out in pleasure so excited on how he is making me feel I can''t control myself. As he thrusts his cock inside me my body explodes with having multiple orgasms loving every single one and craving more He then hollers out to me. ¡°Damn Lily, you make me feel so fucking good your pussy is so tight and fucking delicious.¡± As he''s pounding his cock inside me and gripping on to my breast. I never realized how flexible I really am. As my legs rest on his chest as he pushes them forward, my legs almost going over my head. I can tell that the pleasure is getting too much for him, he is ready to cum. As he drives his hard cock deeper and deeper inside me and harder. God, it feels so fucking good I never want him to stop. I then hear a knock at my door, trying to control myself from screaming. Then Sam pulls out and cums on my chest. I jump up, smiling, searching for something to wipe his cum off my chest. I whisper to him, "get dressed, someone is at the door." I hurry to find my clothes, then go over to the door and open it. I see Landon "Hey what''s up.¡± Not realizing my hair is a mess, and I''m sweaty, he looks at me weird ¡°Are you okay.¡± ¡°Of course I''m ok why wouldn''t I be ok?¡± ¡°Well you ran out of my house pretty fast I thought something happened I wasn''t sure, so I wanted to make sure everything was fine.¡± ¡°That is very nice of you, but I''m great everything is fantastic.¡± Sames up to the door and I pushed him back not wanting Landon to see him. Not that it is any of Landon''s business, but I don''t want him to think I am a whore. I don''t want him to question my rtionship with Sam because there really isn''t one. ¡°OK, well would you like to start the tour of the pack?¡± ¡°Yes, that would be great could you give me a few minutes and I will meet you at your house.¡± ¡°Sure see you in a little bit.¡± I shut the door in a hurry. I turn around and Sam is standing beside me, I push him back. I see him smirking at me ¡°what are you looking at.¡± ¡°Lilly, why would you jump off the falls.¡± ¡°I needed to escape my life. I didn''t want to be used by Ivan and once he raped me, something died inside me.¡± ¡°What the fuck he raped you, that fucking bastard.¡± ¡°His Wolf took over, he was angry, and he lost control of his wolf wanted his mate not making excuses for him, but it''s the truth.¡± ¡°That''s just an excuse Ivan knows how to control his Wolf; he could have stopped it.¡± ¡°All that doesn''t matter now I''m away from him and I don''t n ongoing back. You need to keep my existence to yourself let Ivan think I am dead.¡± ¡°Fine, I will keep your secret, but I will also be visiting you quite often.¡± As he approaches me and kisses my neck, I smile, ¡°I look forward to your visits.¡± I feel so strange, almost like I feel power. I can''t exin it, but I feel it. I need answers, I need to know why I''m feeling the things I feel. I have never felt this good since my family died. Now that I have control over the situation, all my worries disappear. Thinking maybe I can belong to this pack not sold on the idea but definitely thinking about it. ¡°OK Sam, I am going to walk out and leave. Wait, a little bit then you can leave.¡± ¡°He smirks at me, am I your dirty little secret Lilly.¡± I lean in to him like I''m going to kiss him, but I don''t touch his lip I say Seductively¡± so what if you are do you have a problem with that.¡± He smiles ¡°Absolutely not.¡± As he bites his bottom lip and stares at me, I can feel my body wanting round two, but there is no time I got to meet Landon. I then open the door to my cabin and force myself to leave before I can''t no longer resist him. Well, it''s not really him so much the pleasure he gives me. As I am walking over to Landon''s house, I feel more confident than I did before. Not sure what has really changed since then but not caring, just happy that I am no longer nervous. I feel like I could take on the world right now, and it feels good. As I get closer to his house, I sense something that terrifies the hell out of me trying to figure it out, and that''s when I realize it''s Jayden. I shift into my wolf and I take off. Desperate to find him he is in trouble. I can feel his pain. That is when I see a rouge standing over his lifeless body. No, I run with everything in me; I tackle the rouge as hard as I can; I let out a howl of Desperation. I''m so angry I don''t back down from this rouge I go straight for his throat, I break his neck almost instantly from the force of my bite. I go back over to Jayden and I began to lick his wounds trying to heal him. Landones running full force. I don''t let him near him, it''s like I know what I am doing not even realizing I know how to help him, but I can save him, but Landon needs to back off. When Landon attempts to tend to him, I let out a warning growl. T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. I mind link Landon ¡°please I know what I''m doing I can''t exin it but let me help So I can save him. When Landon finally backs off, I begin to help Jayden by licking every wound that he has on him one by one they are starting to heal. Relieved I can start to see color returning to his face, his breathing is also improving. My wolf and I begin to cry being so relieved that Jayden is going to make it out of this tragic event I then mind link Landon ok you can take him to Dean I''m going to get dressed, and I''ll be right over. I run back to my cabin and fall to the ground as I crul myself into a ball squeezing my legs to my chest trying tofort myself. I promised myself that I would never care for anyone ever again, but I have a bond with Jayden that I couldn''t help creating, terrified that I could have lost him too. I need to hurry up and get dressed so I know that he is okay. I find clothes not caring if they match and put them on and run to Deans, wanting to make sure that he is okay and that he indeed survived. I wipe the tears from my eyes not wanting to show any kind of weakness. I am strong. I keep telling myself over and over again as I open the door to walk into Dean''s house. chapter 20 chapter 20 As I am walking into the door I''m freaking out scared of what I am going to see hoping that he is ok. Knowing that if he''s not, I might hit my breaking point not wanting to but not being able to help it. I am so pissed at myself I was so caught up with Sam when Jayden was being attacked. Wondering if there was any way of me preventing what happened to him. If I wouldn''t have ran off and just been able to face what was happening. It is possible that Jayden would have never been attacked because he would have been with me. He wanted to show me his room, but I didn''t even give him the time to show me. I look over to Jayden lying in the bed sleeping, hoping when he wakes up that he''s not scared. He shouldn''t have to fear for his life the way that he did. When I see Landon he looks furious, I am not really sure why. Does he me me for what has happened because that''s what it looks like? I am afraid to even open my mouth, afraid of what he is about to say to me. He sees me walking in the room. He turns around and looks at me. ¡°He wasing to find you because you took off. This is your fault this is why I don''t wee people into my pack.¡± I don''t respond to him as tears fill my eyes. I''m disappointed in myself for allowing this to happen. I stand in silence thinking to myself how the hell did a rouge even get into his territory doesn''t he have guards to protect his people. I want to yell at him because I''m so angry that they did not protect Jayden. He should have already been protected. I forget about everything once I look over and see Jayden with his eyes open trying to sit up. I am so relieved that he''s awake. I wasn''t sure what was going to happen; his cuts were so bad. Then again, no one saw his cuts but me because I healed them before I would allow anyone to touch him. I tried to allow Landon to respond to Jayden first, but I can''t help myself as I run up to him and grab a hold of his small hand. I am so happy that he is awake. ¡°Hey buddy, you''re ok I''m so happy that your awake you scared us.¡± ¡°Lilly, what happened?¡± ¡°You had a little ident, but everything is ok now that you''re awake.¡± ¡°Buddy, remember what happened?¡± ¡°I was on my way to your cabin. I heard someone calling for me, so I went to see who it was, but then everything just disappeared.¡± ¡°Someone was calling your name, do you know who it was?¡± ¡°No I don''t know I never saw him silly he disappeared then I don''t know what happened.¡± ¡°Okay well that''s ok that you don''t remember it must not have been that important then. ¡°I smile at him. I am even more angry to know that this was nned. Someone was calling him over to get attacked, but why. Then I wondered if Dean was testing his theory to see if Jayden was a Healer. I''m furious he better not have been because I will have his head. I get up to walk out to go ask Dean, but Landon stops me.¡± Where are you going?¡± ¡°I need to talk to Dean he said about thinking Jayden was a Healer I''m hoping he wasn''t as dumb enough to try to almost kill him to find out.¡± ¡°Dean wouldn''t have done this to Jayden.¡± ¡°I''m hoping you''re right because if he did, I''m going to kill him.¡± Before I even get to leave the room, Dean is walking in to check on Jayden. He better not have done this to him. It just wouldn''t be right. Dean then walks up to Jayden ¡°Hey how is my favorite patient doing?¡± ¡°I''m doing great. I am just a little sleepy.¡± ¡°Well, I''m just going to have you stay the night just so I can watch over you tonight to make sure everything is okay.¡± ¡°Can Lilly stay with me please?¡± ¡°Yes, if it''s ok with your dad and Lilly, I don''t mind.¡± I look at Landon, uncertain what he wants me to say. I''m not sure if he wants me to stay since he mes me for what has happened to Jayden. I don''t want to just do as I please since he is his father if he doesn''t want me to stay it''s fine. I can still protect him from outside. I can also sense if something is wrong. ¡°Jayden, I think it''s better if she goes home to get some rest she cane back in the morning to see you.¡± ¡°Daddy why can''t she stay? It''s not fair.¡± T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. I don''t want him angry at his father, so I go along with Landon. ¡°Jayden I need to go home I''m sorry but as soon as you wake up I''ll be here I promise.¡± ¡°Before I leave Dean, can we please talk for a moment in private.¡±? ¡°Of course, if you can give me a second, and we can go into my office to talk.¡± I''m praying that he had nothing to do with Jayden getting hurt because if he has, he will regret it. I can promise you that I will not kill him, but he will wish that I have. I feel so much anger when I think of someone hurting him, it''s hard for me to gain control of myself. As I am waiting for Dean toe into his office I''m getting impatient waiting to find out the truth. Knowing that it can''t be a coincidence with Jayden getting attacked twice even though the first attack was a bear, but the bear could have been led to Jayden. As you watch him walk into his office I look at him ¡°I need you to tell me the truth, do not lie to me.¡± He looks at me confused, wondering what I''m about to say. ¡°I would never lie to you Lilly what is up?¡± ¡°Did you n this attack on Jayden to see if he was a Healer.¡± ¡°Are you kidding I would never risk his life to find out if he was a Healer it would not be worth it to me there would be a chance of him dying.¡± ¡°I was hoping that you would say that I was so weird I have this connection to protect him and I don''t understand why I''m so angry I don''t know what''s happening to me.¡± ¡°You have built a bond with him a very strong bondI''m not sure how you created it so fast, but you did.¡± ¡°Yes, I have the need to protect. I refuse to lose someone else I care about.¡± ¡°You have been through a lot. It''s nice that you still care. I''m happy that Jayden is keeping you human. Why Is Landon upset with you?¡± ¡°He mes me for what has happened because Jayden left toe find me then he got attacked.¡± ¡°I will have a talk with him, he knows it''s not your fault.¡± ¡°No don''t have a talk with him, it''s fine it doesn''t bother me that he mes me it''s better for him to me me than himself.¡± ¡°Are you going to stay here with Jayden tonight since he requested you to?¡± ¡°No, I am going to respect his dad''s wishes. I might just hang outside until morning.¡± ¡°Please just be careful if you n on staying outside. I don''t want anything to happen to you.¡± ¡°Thank you I appreciate it, but I''ll be just fine you don''t have to worry about me, I promise.¡± I walk out of his office and head for the front door hoping not to run into Landon. I really don''t want to have a fight especially now that Jayden is awake I don''t want him to hear us. I walk out the front doors and I sit down on the steps, I am not going to go home just yet. I want to make sure that nobody else is coming back to finish what they started. All of this just does not seem like it could all be a coincidence. I know that something is happening. I just can''t pinpoint it. Wondering if someone else doesn''t expect Jayden to be a Healer or has some kind of power. Why would he be targeted twice he''s only 5 years old In the past 2 days? He really needs to start defending sses for him to learn to defend himself even though he is young he could still learn. As Iy down on the step, I look up and see the skan sky. It''s so beautiful words can''t even express. I love how it brings me so much peace. Sometimes this is all I need just rx. My mom always said that the skan sky can cure anything. I am starting to believe her. As my eyes are getting heavy and having trouble keeping them open, I figure, what would a brief nap hurt? I close them and let darkness takeover. chapter 21 chapter 21 LANDON''S POV I''m confessed how Sam and Lilly know each other, especially when his pack is new to the area he hasn''t been around long. I don''t know Lilly''s backstory, but I need to know how she really knows him. I don''t want trouble with any other packs. Something just doesn''t seem right, especially her face expression. She almost seems like she is nervous or scared. I try to ignore it but when she runs out, I know something has to be off with them. I look at Sam ¡°do you have that effect on all women when they see you they have to run.¡± ¡°I guess I should probably go try to find her. I think that I may have surprised her by being here.¡± I look at Jenny ¡°ok well we will keep each otherpany until you guyse back here.¡± I watch him leave. I be curious to how he knows Lilly wondering if they have been together. Knowing she is very desirable not wanting her to be with anyone else wanting her all to myself. Even though I''m just not ready for a solid rtionship yet, I still desire her, wanting her taste. ¡°So Jenny, what are you nning to get out of the rearranged marriage that dad has nned for you?¡± ¡°I want toe and join your pack and cut all ties at home.¡± ¡°Jenny, you''re more than wee to join, but I''m not sure if that n would really work dad would just come and get you?¡± ¡°Not if he doesn''t know that I''m here I could make myself unknown where I just disappeared,¡± ¡°I''m not sure if dad is that blind he is pretty smart. Are you sure that you''re willing to risk everything.¡± ¡°I don''t want to be forced, I want to find my mate and fall in love and marry him.¡± ¡°Then talk to dad and see if there is a way out of it that will make you both happy.¡± ¡°You know that dad is not going to let me out of this damn it Landon.¡± I watch her storm out the door. I feel bad, but she knows our father will not give up so easily. Even if she finds her mate, she won''t be able to be happy with him, father won''t allow it. She can join my pack but doesn''t mean that father won''te looking for her. I''m not sure how I can really help her. I then realize that it is quite which is never good. I go to look for Jayden, but he is nowhere to be found, not even in his room. So, I decide to go over to Lilly''s cabin to search for Jayden to see if he came searching for her, but I suddenly realize that he isn''t there. I then hear Lilly''s pleasure moans. Wondering who the fuck is pleasuring her, I want to knock the fucking door in, but I resit. Knowing that she isn''t mine, that she doesn''t belong to me even if I wanted her to. So, instead I knock on her door when she answers, I can tell she is all heated from whoever she is fucking. I ask if she wants to go on the tour of the pack still. She tells me she will be over soon. Really, I can''t believe that she is with someone. I then go back to my house to wait for her at my house. When I get to my house I walk through the house trying to find Jayden. Wondering where the hell has he gone. Not seeing him hoping that he didn''t run off again. All of a sudden, I hear a howl that I have never heard before, and I know that someone is in danger as I run out to see what is happening. That''s when I see Lilly who has a rouge by its throat and all she does is bite down, and it automatically breaks the rouge''s neck. Shocked at how strong she is, I have never seen that before. I am confused about what actually happened. That''s when I see him when she walks over to him my gut fills up with terror as it begins to run through me. I shift to my Wolf to help, but she does not need my help. I try to get to my son, but she will not allow me to go near him. She lets out a terrifying growl to warn me to stay back. I don''t know how she expects me to stay back. I need to help him, he is my everything I can''t lose him to. I can see from the hurt in her eyes that she is worried also, which scares me even more. I don''t care about her warning. I need to take care of my son, but then her mind links me ¡°I know what I am doing. I will save him just back off.¡± How dare she not allow me to help my child who does she think she is to talk to her alpha this way. I am so angry I know the only reason that Jayden was out here was probably to find her. He is so excited about Lilly for what reasons I don''t know, but I know the reasoning is because of her that he got attacked. As I am watching her, I am in shock, she is healing him. I have never in my life seen what she is doing, but I don''t care because she is saving him. Which I am so thankful for. When she is finished, she tells me to take him to Dean that she wille when she can. So, I pick him up and rush him to Deans, hoping that he will be ok. He has no open wounds. I know that she saved him and once his body makes up for the blood he lost that he would be ok. He will wake up. How could I allow this to happen? I should have been paying attention? Thinking that Jenny and Sam left right before all this took ce because they did note running over.I try to reassure other pack members everything is fine, that there will be a pack meeting in the morning. To go over everything that has happened in the past couple days with the rouge attacks. As I rush to Deans, hees in a hurry and looks at Jayden. Even though his body was covered in blood, he had no open wounds at all; they were all healed. It was remarkable how she healed him. How did she do this there is no other way to exin other than she really is a Healer? I watched her walk into Dean''s house. I''m so furious with her because this is her fault he was trying to find her, and he got attacked. I don''t know why I feel so furious at her. She saved him. Then why do I feel this way? I want to scream at her, but then I hear my son speak and tears start to form in my eyes. I am so happy that he is awake? I can''t believe that he wants Lilly to stay with him. I''m his father and he should want me to stay. When he said he was looking for Lilly, I knew that was the reason why he left it was because of her. She was getting fucked while my son was being attacked. She is not staying here with us, I don''t want her here. I''m in shock that all this has happened. As I watch Lilly walk out of his room, I realize I''m wrong. I know that Lilly would not allow him to get hurt if she could help it. I''m such a fool I shouldn''t have been so rude. I am just so scared at this moment it is easier to focus all my anger on someone to actually face what the hell has happened. Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Daddy I''m sorry that I left without telling you again you were talking to Aunt Jenny.¡± ¡°Buddy, you need to tell me where you go no matter what so I can protect you.¡± ¡°Okay daddy I will, I promise but daddy you know you can''t be mad at Lilly she didn''t do anything.¡± ¡°I know I was just angry.¡± ¡°Well, I think that you should tell her that you are sorry for being mean to her daddy.¡± ¡°Ok I will but for now, please get some rest so when Lillyes tomorrow you will have the energy to get out of this bed.¡± ¡°Ok Daddy I will go back to sleep. I love you.¡± ¡°I love you buddy¡± I kiss his forehead. I wait until he falls asleep. I go to walk out of the room there are no lights on in the house I go to get a drink of water. As I look out the window at the skan sky, that''s when I notice something not sure what it is. I open the door and that''s when I see Lilly sleeping on the steps I go and pick her up and carry her inside to the couch andy her down on it, and then I go back and stay with Jayden. chapter 22 chapter 22 As I am waking up, I then realize I am no longer outside but inside on the couch. I am not really sure how I got here, I jumped up and ran to Jayden''s room. Wanting to check on him to make sure that he is ok, promising him that I would be there first thing in the morning, not wanting to break my promise. When I approach his room, I see Landon with his head down on Jayden''s bed, they are still sleeping. I leave the bedroom quietly, trying not to wake them. I hear someone in the kitchen I go to, and I see it''s Dean. ¡°Good morning Dean, how did you sleep? I wanted to tell you thank you for carrying me inst night. I didn''t mean to fall asleep.¡± ¡°Good morning to you also Lilly but I am not sure what you are talking about I did not carry you anywhere.¡± ¡°Oh, I had fallen asleep outside on the stepst night I think I did anyway, but when I woke up this morning I was on the couch. I thought that you came out and carried me in.¡± ¡°Sorry Lilly It wasn''t mest night I thought you went home.¡± ¡°I was going to go home, but I could not bring myself to leave Jayden, so I just stayed and identally fell asleep.¡± ¡°Well, would you like some coffee, then?¡± ¡°I would love some, thank you so much.¡± As I get myself some coffee I stand there wondering did Landon carry me inst night. He was so mad at me. I honestly think he was just looking for someone to me. I am not sure of his history and what all has happened to him, I just hope in time he will tell me. I then hear footsteps as I look to see who it is, and I notice it''s Landon walking down the hall to the kitchen. I want to say good morning how did you sleep, but the words can''t escape my mouth. I want to ask him if he carried me inst night, but I don''t. I am just silent. I want to avoid upsetting him already this morning. Dean looks at Landon ¡°good morning, would you like some coffee Alpha,¡± he asked him? ¡°Thank you, that would be great. I would love some coffee,¡± he responds. I am surprised that he''s not asking me to get out. He was so angry with me yesterday, but it wasn''t my fault. He should be more worried about how the rouges are getting into his territory. If the attack didn''t happen to Jayden, it could have happened to anyone in his pack. He needs to put out more guards to protect his pack. I know his pack is not a very big pack, which isn''t good at all. If his pack members need help on the learning defense, I could always assist in training them. I am not sure if I should even say something I want to avoid offending him. As we all set the table and drink our coffee, it''s quiet. Not absolutely sure if anybody really knows what to say. I want to tell Landon that it was not my fault. I then start to wonder if Sam and I weren''t together. Maybe I could have protected Jayden from all of this. No, this is not my fault his territory should have been protected by his guards. Something isn''t right. Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. Landon looks at Dean ¡°there is a pack meeting this morning. I want to understand how rouges are getting into our territory without being noticed.¡± ¡°Are you sure you want to ask a question like that pack members might think that you''re ming them for his attack?¡± ¡°There is no reason that a rouge should have been that close to our territory they should have been detected there''s no excuse for this attack it could happen to anyone.¡± ¡°It Didn''t though it happened to your son, and they might think that his life is more important than theirs.¡± ¡°Well, to me, his life is he''s a child that should have never happened.¡± I can tell the conversation is getting heated I don''t want to butt in, but I do. ¡°Instead of trying to find someone to me, why don''t you suggest more training for your pack members.¡± ¡°Further training I have guards that are trained that would have been able to take out this rouge.¡± ¡°I''m not talking about your guards, what about the people who aren''t your guards if they could defend themselves against them? Maybe they could take the rouge out themselves or even if it''s just to train them to protect themselves or how to escape.¡± ¡°I can''t just focus on training now, I need to figure out why all this is happening first.¡± ¡°I know defense training my father taught me I could teach them if you allow it. You could even make it voluntary, so you''re not forcing them to do anything they don''t want.¡± ¡°Why would you want to help my pack to train them to defend themselves.¡±? ¡°If I am going to be a part of this pack, I want to contribute what I can, and I can do this if you let me.¡± ¡°I will talk it over with my pack members and see what their opinion is if they want training, then you may train them.¡± I am surprised that everything went better than I thought it would go. I do want to help Landon and his pack to strengthen them. This is something I can do even being pregnant; this won''t put me in harm''s way training other wolves to help themselves. Training them to build confidence in themselves to make them believe they can do anything. I know my father trained me, that''s how I felt invincible against the world. ¡°Landon, I also think Jayden should train with Me Too! If kids want training, they should be allowed to be able to defend themselves.¡± ¡°I will think about it, I will mention it to the parents and I will not force their children to train.¡± ¡°You need to make it known that this isn''t training to fight this is training to defend yourself from being killed to fight your attacker off. You can''t make it like I''m training their kids to fight wars.¡± ¡°I also can''t talk their parents into doing something that they don''t think is right for their child.¡± ¡°That''s where you''re wrong, you are the alpha. You need to talk them in to doing training so that their kids can defend themselves, so this does not happen to anyone else.¡± ¡°Are you saying that this is my fault because I didn''t train my son to defend himself?¡± ¡°No, I am not saying that at all I want to help with defense training. I know it''s how I can help if you let me.¡± ¡°Like I said, if they agree to your training you ''re more wee to train them I don''t mind, but they have to be willing.¡± ¡°You''re their alpha, you could encourage them, it is important to be able to defend yourself.¡± He says nothing back to me. I am so angry. I don''t understand what it would hurt for his pack to be able to defend themselves. Why wouldn''t anyone want to be able to defend themselves, to be able to fight back? To protect themselves from those who want to hurt them. He shouldn''t have to force them, they should want the training. I guess I am just going to have to wait to see how things are going to work out. If they don''t want my help, then fine. But I will help Jayden to learn how to defend himself, so this doesn''t happen to him again. Suddenly, I hear a sweet little voice, I automatically know it''s Jayden. Knowing that he''s awake, I got up from the kitchen table and I walked back to his room. Not caring if Landon wants me to see him or not, I am going to see him. I walk into the Room and I see his beautiful blue eyes staring back at me. ¡°Good morning sleepyhead, I told you I''d be here when you woke up.¡± ¡°Good morning Lily I am happy that you are here. I was hoping you would be when I woke up.¡± ¡°I told you I would be here, there wouldn''t be anything that could stop me, especially when I promised.¡± ¡°Lilly, I need to tell you something.¡± ¡°What is it buddy, what do you need to tell me.¡± ¡°You can''t tell my daddy though he will get mad at me, you promise you won''t tell him.¡± ¡°I am not sure if I can promise you or not because sometimes daddy''s need to know things to help you.¡± ¡°I sometimes hurt myself on purpose because I see my mommy. She always tells me not to, but I miss her and that''s the only way I see her.¡± ¡°I know how it feels to miss your family, but we have to go on. It''s not fair to go on without them, but we don''t have The Choice. You need to stop hurting yourself, your mommy wouldn''t want that And your daddy needs you promise me that you will not hurt yourself again on purpose.¡± ¡°Lilly, I don''t know if I can promise you that I miss her so much sometimes I can''t help myself.¡± ¡°When you miss her,e to me, so we can talk about her and maybe do something that was her favorite that you and her did.¡± ¡°My mommy told me that I can trust you that we are going to be best friends forever.¡± Tears start filling my eyes, knowing that his pain is just as bad as mine. I want to fix it and make him feel better, but I can''t. It''s not a pain that just disappears, it''s a pain that''s always with you. I need to talk to Landon, and it''s not his guards that aren''t defending his territory. It''s Jayden lowering the rouges in to attack him, so he can see his mother. I am not sure that Landon will believe me, but I really hope he does. chapter 23 chapter 23 I go to see Landon before he actually does the pack meeting, I need to talk to him. I rush out to him, but he''s not there, wondering where he went. I have no idea how to bring this up to him, but I need to. I just hope he believes me. He has no reason not to. Before I get to go outside, hees out of the bathroom, I jump. "There you are, I have been looking everywhere for you." He looks at me weird. "I was in the bathroom. I didn''t know that I needed to tell you where I go at all times. Original content from N?velDrama.Org. I blush a little, thinking of him with his pants off. "I need to talk to you about Jayden. He just told me something very interesting." "Well, he is a child and he has quite an imagination." "I need you to have an open mind, I don''t think he''s imagining this because I experienced it too." He looks at me, concerned, not really sure what I am about to say. "He told me that he gets hurt on purpose because it''s the only way that he gets to see his mother." "Whate on Lilly, how is he able to see his mother she is dead there is no way he can see her he is making it up," "That''s where you''re wrong Jayden is a Healer when we die, we can see our dead loved ones." "So what are you saying that he did it on purpose." "I know that it''s hard to believe, but it''s true he did it on purpose to see his mother. He said that he gets hurt all the time because he likes to visit her." "So you''re telling me that the person who is bringing the rouges in my territory is no one other than my son." "I know it sounds crazy, but it''s true he''s not bringing them in to hurt others just himself, so he can see his mother because he thinks he can''t I die He looks pissed "but this time he almost died," "Yes, because the rouge scratched his heart, the only way we can die is when our heart is ripped out of the chest and his was showing. But he was fine because I healed him, that''s why I kept you away. "You are lying I am going to ask him myself I know that this is not true he would not hurt himself." "Please don''t he trust me, he can talk to me, don''t mess that up?" He stops, turns around and looks at me, I can see the hurt in his face. "Then why can''t he talk to me, I am his father." "Because he worries about you, he''s afraid to mention his mom around you. It''s something we can work on but don''t yell at him." "I have to do this pack meeting now. I can''t believe that this is my son''s fault. I don''t even know how to word it." "Just say you''re uncertain by all the activities that have been happening that you encourage defense training, so everyone will be able to defend themselves if something urs again." He looks so concerned" They can''t find out what Jayden and you are, it could put you guys in danger. That''s why you were attracted to my pack, it was because you and Jayden are the same." "Just make sure you act worried about what happened to Jayden and concerned about your pack and that''s why you rmend the training." "You are still willing to help, even after the way I treated you." "We can work on thatter. let''s just protect Jayden." As I watch Landon walk out the front door to talk to his pack about all that has happened. He needs to reassure them that they are not in any kind of danger. I think offering them training will help them feel safe where they can protect themselves. I think it''s time to tell Landon about my past, so he knows. I don''t want my past toe up and bite me in the ass, I need to tell him everything. He deserves to know, especially if I am going to be his pack member here. I know that I can''t ever leave Jayden, ever. My connection with him is too strong to let go. I just need to turn this pack into a safe pack to be a part of. I''m just not really sure where to start and if Landon won''t even let me. I start to head back into Jayden''s room. I see that he has been crying. I go up, and I sit down beside him trying to reassure him "what is wrong Jayden, why are you crying?" "I don''t want to never see my mommy again, I don''t know if I can promise you what you want me to do." "Your mommy wants you to live, and you will see her someday she is always with you even if you can''t see her. I know it''s hard, but we have to move on." "Lilly, did your mommy die too?" "I had a mommy that loved me more than anything in the world, but she also died. I think about her all the time I want to see her, but I know there is a reason I''m still here. We don''t always find the answers, but I am thinking that the reason I am yet alive was to find you." "Lilly, I''m scared of not seeing my mommy." "I know I was too scared, but now that I have you I''m not scared like I was in the beginning." "Lilly, I will try not to hurt myself on purpose anymore, but I can''t promise you." I bring him into my chest for a hug, hate knowing the pain he is feeling too well. Knowing it''s not a pain that just goes away with a snap of the finger. Hoping that I can help him ease it up eventually. "Lilly, where is my daddy?" "He is having a pack meeting. He should be done in a little while. Until he is done would you like to draw with me?" I want to distract him from all of this pain. I know it is going to take time. I just hope that I can help him like he helped me along the way. "Sure Lilly we can draw for a little, I will draw you a picture." I grab some supplies, paper and pens for us to draw on. I pulled the table up beside us both and began to draw. I can see the relief thates over Jayden. He isn''t as tense as he was before. It''s almost like he knows it''s ok to just rx. As we draw together, I see him smiling. I feel so bad that he has to feel the pain that I feel. I wouldn''t wish my pain on anyone, especially a child. I wish that I could take all his grief away. He is such a sweet soul, I can''t help but love him. "So what are you drawing, Jayden?" I try to look over at his drawing, but he hides it from me. "Lilly stop, don''t peek, it''s not done, yet I want it to be a surprise." I smiled at him, "Ok, I will wait until you are finished, sorry that I was trying to peek." He giggles "it''s ok Lilly I forgive you." "Good, I am d that you forgive me." We continue to color. I decide to draw a flower, but my flower looks more like a sun. I never really been all that great with drawing. I am not a really crafty type of person, but at least I''m trying, I guess. I hold my picture up to show Jayden. "So how do you like my flower?" He looks at and lets out a giggle. "Lilly, your flower looks like a sun, you''re not very good at drawing, are you?" "No, you got that right I am not a good drawer at all I was never really the drawing type." "It''s ok Lilly, at least you tried. Here is your picture I made for you, I hope you love it." "I bet I will love it "as my words stop once I see what he has drawn for me. I can''t believe how he did this . It''s so beautiful. He drew a picture of him and I holding hands, Thendscape behind us almost looks like the waterfall at wicked falls. I try to resist the tears that are filling my eyes, but I can''t help but get emotional. "Oh my god Jayden, it is beautiful it is my favorite gift that anyone has ever given me, thank you." He smiles "I am happy you like it Lilly, "I don''t like it, I love it." I walk over to him and give him a big hug. chapter 24 chapter 24 As I''m starting to wake up, I''m toozy to get out of bed just yet. I have been so focused on Jayden getting better that I haven''t thought of myself. I have been watching him like a hawk since he has fully healed, not wanting him to be tempted to hurt himself. I have been so worried when he is out of my site so when he is, it''s not for long. I still haven''t been able to tell Landon the truth about me. He has been so busy with pack stuff that I barely have seen him. I hope that he is at least attempting to spend time with Jayden. I wouldn''t dare give him fatherly advice. Knowing it would only piss him off. He isn''t a person who really likes people giving him any kind of advice on how to raise his son. I have been staying at Landon''s house in the guest room, so I can watch over Jayden properly, but some of the she-wolf''s dislike my presence in his home. My only concern is Jayden. I want to make sure he is okay. I need to be there for Jayden, but I am also starting to worry that I''m not going to have a life of my own. I feel like I''m being selfish asking for alone time, but I just need a day, even just a couple of hours to myself every now and again. I''m going to ask Landon if it''s at all possible for him toe home early to n a surprise adventure with his son so I can go home, get a shower and bring some clothes over for when I stay. Hoping he doesn''t get mad at me by asking him to spend time with Jayden. Knowing he is so sensitive to how people word things when ites to Jayden. T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. In all honesty I should just tell Landon to grow the fuck up, he needs to stop being so damn sensitive to everybody''s words, he is an alpha for christ''s sake. I''m so sick and tired of tiptoeing around about everything, I just want to be myself not having to worry. He hasn''t really talked much to Jayden since I told him that he was hurting himself on purpose. I''m not sure what is going on, but he needs to get over it. Jayden is a smart kid he sees that his father is ignoring him. Landon needs to talk about it instead of burying himself in his work. Wondering what time it is, shocked that Jayden has not been in my bedroom to wake me up, yet he is usually always up bright and early. He wakes me up by jumping and singing on my bed. Wondering where he is, I force myself up, knowing I could lie in thisfy bed all day. I need to resist knowing I need to get up, so I can check up on Jayden. I get up and search for my robe to put it on and head for the door once I open it''s quiet. It''s sort of making me nervous about how quiet it is. I walked to Jayden''s room and I noticed he''s not in it, I panicked. I run to Landon''s room and notice he''s not there, either. Hoping that they are together, and that Jayden has not run off once again. I go down the stairs to the main entrance as I open the door to go outside. Landon and Jayden areing, I am so relieved. Landon looks at me confused ¡°were you really going to go outside in your rope you need to go change before you go outside. Not really sure why he would care if I went outside in my robe. I let out augh ¡°no I was not I saw that Jayden wasn''t in the house I got worried, so I was going to find him.¡± He looks at me with an irritated look. I''m uncertain why. ¡°Well, I think it''s time that you go home and things get back to normal, don''t you think?¡± I know I want my space, I want to live in my own ce, but the constant worry of Jayden, will I be able to deal with it all? ¡°Do you think that everything would be ok if I left?¡± ¡°Of course everything would be ok. Why wouldn''t it be we don''t need you here.¡± Jayden looks up at his father ¡°daddy, that wasn''t very nice to say you don''t have to be so mean.¡± ¡°Jayden, why don''t you go to your room and y so Lilly and I can have a talk please.¡± ¡°OK but daddy you better be nice to her, or I''m going to be mad at you.¡± I look at Jayden ¡°it''s ok buddy, your daddy just wants to talk to me I''ll see you soon.¡± I look at Landon ¡°I''m not here for you, I''m here for him, I just want to make sure that he''s ok, and he doesn''t try to harm himself to see his mother.¡± ¡°I''m his father. I can take care of my son. I don''t need your help. I think it''s time that you go.¡± ¡°I''m hoping you just mean that I go back to the cabin and not leave the pack.¡± ¡°I''m not sure what I mean, I just want you to leave this house. I''m tired of your presence, you need to go.¡± I get angry all that I have done has been for his child, and he''s being an asshole. I want to hold everything back, but I can''t any longer. I''m done trying to please this man, who has no way of pleasing him. His jealousy of me and Jayden is ridiculous. I can not get kicked out of his pack. I promised Jayden I would never leave him. ¡°Landon, I don''t know what your problem is, but I''ve been staying here for your son. You have been off on business every day for the past 2 weeks and I have been watching over Jayden, making sure that he is ok. It''s fine if you want me to leave you alone but don''t you dare tell me to leave Jayden alone because I can''t promise you that.¡± I walk away, not wanting to argue with him any longer. Sort of hurt in a way. Not understanding how he doesn''t see my intentions, they are not bad. I go to my room to change and to get my clothes, so I can leave. I then go to Jaden''s Room. I see that he is ying. ¡°Jayden, I''m going to go to my house if you need anything you know where I am at.¡± ¡°Lilly, you promised you wouldn''t leave me, you can''t go.¡± ¡°I am not leaving you, I will be at my house. You cane over anytime you please.¡± I walk over and give him a big hug as he squeezes my body tight. I don''t want to let him go. I know that I have to. I don''t want Landon to make me leave. That wouldn''t just break my heart, it would break Jayden''s too, not sure what he would do if I left. ¡°I will see you soon, we will be training, remember. I just have to get it all sorted out with your father.¡± As I go to walk out of his room, he gets up and runs over and gives me another big hug.¡± Lilly, thank you so much for helping me, I''m happy we found each other.¡± Tears begin to feel my eyes ¡°buddy I''m not going anywhere I promise you because I''m not at your house does not mean I''m not here for you just remember that if you need me, you know where I will be.¡± ¡°I love you Lilly.¡± ¡°I love you too.¡± chapter 25 chapter 25 It''s been a hard couple of days since Landon hasn''t talked to me and Jayden is staying away. I''m unsure of what is happening, but I just let it go. I have been so consumed with Jayden that I forgot I''m about to be a mother. My belly has been growing, I am starting to feel flutters in my stomach, I''m uncertain if that is the baby moving. I think that I have blocked out my pregnancy on purpose. Just because I''m scared and not sure how I''m going to do this. I know that I will find a way no matter what. I just wish I wasn''t scared of what ising. I have been spending most of my time in my cabin just rxing. Forgetting how good it feels. All of a sudden, I hear a knock at the door, uncertain who it is I grabbed my robe to put it on. I walk over to the door and I open it hoping that it is Jayden, but when I open the door to my disappointment it is not Jayden. I put on a fake smile "hi how can I help you?" "Hi my name is Jasmine I''m in the pack alpha Landon said about you were offering defense training." "Hi Jasmine, my name is Lilly and yes, I could offer you defense training if you would like." "Would you be capable of doing it in private where no one would see us."? "There is nothing to be ashamed of wanting to be able to learn to defend yourself." "That isn''t it, but you''ll be able to keep this between us and find a ce where we won''t be seen." As I looked further into her eyes, I can see the pain that someone has caused, not just once, but many times. "I''m not familiar with the area if you can find us a ce I will go wherever is necessary, and I will keep it secret, I promise." "Thank you. I really appreciate this. I wille to you tonight, and we will go to a ce where it will be easy to train and discreet." "I try to hide my emotion, I don''t want her to see that I feel sorry for her. I smile and say awesome. I will see then you''re wee." I go to shut the door and I know that something just does not seem right. Knowing that it isn''t any of my business. I try to ignore all of it, but it''s hard because I know she''s feeling the pain that I felt. I don''t understand why men think that they could just harm us when the truth is they would never be able to live without us. I stand up knowing it''s time to leave this house. I go to the bathroom To get cleaned up. I start the water to let it warm to get a shower. As I am looking in the mirror. I know that I am strong noticing as my little belly is starting to show. I feel a light inside me that wasn''t there before, but a light knowing everything is going to be fine. Original content from N?velDrama.Org. As I get into the shower to clean myself I hear a knock at the door, of course I just ignore it, knowing I won''t be long. As I finished cleaning myself I reached for the towel to dry myself then I slip into my robe. When I walk out of the bathroom, I jump when I see Landon sitting on the chair. I''m not sure what to say to him, I stand there surprised. Before I know it his lips touch mine I can''t help but kiss him back. The feeling of his intimacy is what I crave. Wanting not to be alone. Having his hands all over my body Is breathtaking. I know that I should push him away, but I can''t, my body wants him. His touch is so gentle but so full of rage at the same time. He moves my robe from my neck as I let it fall to the ground making my body exposed. He then begins to kiss down my neck. My body shivers with every peck. He picks me up, still kissing my neck. Heys me on my bed. As he gets on top of me he begins kissing my breast and sucking on my nipples. His hand travels down to my pussy as he starts to rub my clit rapidly I grip on to the sheets on my bed trying to control myself god it feels so fucking good not wanting him to let up. I can''t help but to scream out in pleasure as I orgasm. He doesn''t look at me as he unzips his pants to take out his hard cock. I sit up and grabbed his cock and began stroking it. I feel it throbbing for me knowing he wants more than a hand job. He pushes me down onto the bed and flips me on to my stomach, I know what he wants. I get on my knees and arch my ass up for him to fuck me. He wastes no time as he inserts his hard cock inside my pussy. With every thrust, he is fucking me harder and harder. As he grips on to my hips to keep me in ce as he is pounding his full-length inside me. He is fucking me so hard it''s starting to hurt. Wishing that he would cum already, so it would be over knowing he got me off. I would like to allow him the time to get off too. Not knowing how much longer I can deal with his roughness. As tears began to form from the pain he is causing me. I begin to realize he''s not who I thought he was. That he is just like Ivan, the only difference is I''m allowing him to hurt me. How could I have been so blind to all of it? As I feel warmth inside me knowing that he is finally finished. He releases my hip as I copse on to the bed thankful that he is finished. I hear him as he zips up his pants and leaves without a word, when I hear the door shut. I break into tears. What the hell just happened, why did I allow him to hurt me? I curl up into a ball and cry myself to sleep. chapter 26 chapter 26 As I am waiting for Jasmine toe to train not sure when she ising I don''t leave not wanting to miss her. I hear a knock at the door. I rush to the door thinking it is her but when I open it, I notice it is Landon. I didn''t invite him. I ask "what do you want?" "May Ie in please?" I don''t want him toe in, I am pissed because of the way he treated me. "can''t you tell me from where you''re at?" "Look, I just wanted to apologize for the way I treated you. It was uncalled-for. I was so full of rage and I took it out on you, I''m sorry." I want to believe him that he wouldn''t try to do that again. It''s not like I told him no or tryed to even stop,, but he treated me like a whore. I also don''t want him to think that he affected me in any kind of way. I don''t want to show him any kind of weakness. I am quite not sure how to respond to him. "Look, Jayden has been asking for you, I have been trying to keep him away because of my own jealous reasons but would you like toe over for dinner tonight?" "Sure, I would do anything for Jayden." Wanting to make it clear that what he did had no effect on me. That he can''t break me, that I am strong. I figure if I keep telling myself that I am that maybe I will eventually believe my own words. "Great dinner will be done at 7pm . I will see then thank you." I shut the door not thinking twice about offering him toe in, I know that he wouldn''t hurt me. It''s just I don''t want to deal with all of it right now. I know that he is not happy, I can see the pain all over his face and I can feel the sorrow that lingers in his heart. Not understanding how he thinks doing what he did would make him feel any better. As I am lost in my thoughts, a knock at the door gets me out of them. I walk over to open it, and that''s when I see Jasmine and two other women. I allow them to walk into my cabin as I move to the side out of their way. "I know that I did not mention it before, but I wondered if you could train all of us." Property ? N?velDrama.Org. "Of course that is no issue of mine, do you have a ce in mind to train out." "I was thinking if we could just train in your cabin." I look at her, confused, knowing that the cabin is way too small. "Jasmine, we are going to need more space than this to train all three of you." "Look, we don''t want our mates to catch us training, we don''t want them to believe that we think they cannot protect us. To be honest, we just want to be able to protect ourselves and a child if we have one." "I will do my best to train you all here, but my advice is to talk to your mates, they should understand and not get upset." As we start moving furniture out of the way to clear up space for us to be able to train. Knowing there''s not nearly enough space, I think to myself how am I going to train them in this little area. I thene to the conclusion that I''m only going to be able to train one at a time. As I look into their faces, all I see is desperation, I need to find a way to make it work. "Is there any way that I could train you all individually where you guyse at different times." "Well, I don''t know if that will work since we gave our mates the excuse that we are together. To help you with cooking, teaching you the basics." "OK, how much time are you able to stay?" "We told our mates that we would be gone for 2 to 3 hours." "OK, well, we will just have to split your guys this time up, and I will train one at a time and the others can bake." "Okay, that sounds like it would work." "May I have your guy''s name, so I know what to call you." I smile and let out a little giggle. "Jasmine looks at me andughs oh my God, I''m so sorry I forgot to introduce you and tell you their names Be and Holly." "It''s a pleasure to meet Be and Holly. Which one of you would like to go first?" "Jasmine stands and smiles, I will go first, so you can see what is going to be expected of youdies." As the otherdies went into the kitchen, I began to stretch telling Jasmine that she should also stretch. After my body feels ready I Ask Jasmine, "are you ready to learn this will bemon sense at first, then be harder as we go on." "Yes, let''s do this, there is no better time than the present." "Alright let''s get this show on the road. First, most importantly your stance has to be strong. If I push you, there shouldn''t be any way for you to move. You should be in the same stance that you are in now. So, you want to spread your legs a little with your left foot a little ahead of your right." "How is this?" She asks me I go to push her, and she almost falls backwards, not realizing that I pushed her that hard. "That is terrible, you need to stand your ground and not budge." "Well, you pushed me a little hard, don''t you think?" "Someone who is trying to hurt you isn''t going to push you lightly, they''re going to be trying to get your ass on the ground as fast as possible. So fix your stance you can do this," As I am training these women, I now understand why my father would get so frustrated with me and my brother. I try to make it as easy as possible but when they don''t know anything it is difficult for me. Knowing that they are going to need a lot of training. I am just hoping that they stick to it and don''t give up. As I finish up their training I see they are tired. So, we call it a night. I go and sit down to rest a little. I then look at the time and I see that it is 7 pm. Knowing I''m supposed to have dinner with Jayden, I hurry up to change and brush my hair. Knowing that I could have put more effort into my looks, but why there is no point. I am not looking forward to seeing Landon, I am just looking forward to seeing Jayden and I know he thinks I''m beautiful no matter what. I run out the door and head to Jayden''s house as fast as I can. chapter 27 chapter 27 As I approached his door I go to knock. I became nervous. I was never nervous before. It''s different now. I''m not afraid of Landon, it''s just I''m hesitant because of what he has done to me. I should have stopped him, but I allowed it. I''m not sure if I am going to be able to just forget about it. I want to pretend that it never happened. As the door opens I see that it is Jayden, His eyes go bright once he realizes it''s me. I will say I like the excitement that I see in him When I approach him. To see how my appearance just gives him such joy. "Lilly, you''re here I''ve been waiting for you all day it seemed like forever I was starting to worry that you might note." "Yes, it is really me it did seem like forever I missed you so much. I would never not show up for you." As I scrunched down to his height I open my arms for a much-needed hug as he runs into my chest and my arms wrapped around him and I squeeze all I feel isfort. Once our bodies connect, I feel more rxed than I have in days. I have missed him so much, I''m grateful to finally see him. I go to stand, and he grabs a hold of my hand, his little hand holds on to mine so tight like he is not allowing me to run away from him. Knowing I never would when I''m with him, it''s also like I''mplete. As we run into the kitchen, I see Landon. "Daddy she''s here she finally got here." "I see that buddy I told you that she would be here that you had nothing to worry about." I try to stay calm, but his presence is making me feel uneasy. I''m not afraid of him, I think I''m more hurt. "So what are we having?" Trying so hard to be pleasant, not wanting to spoil this time I have to spend with Jayden. Worried that if I angered him that he might not allow me to spend time with Jayden again. Jayden looks at me with a big smile on his face "it''s only going to be you and me Lilly daddy''s actually going to serve us." "What are we having?" "The only thing that daddy knows how to make which is spaghetti." Jayden lets out augh and I smile well. "It''s a good thing that spaghetti is my favorite." "Really, spaghetti is my favorite too." Landon looks over to Jayden "Hey buddy why don''t you take these tes into the dining room and go set the table for you and Lilly." I go to help him but Landon grabs my hand "Lily could I please talk to you for a minute." I hesitate, but I know he has something to say, and I want to hear it. As angry as I am at him or hurt, Not really sure which one it is yet. I want to hear what he has to say. "About the other day I''m sorry I took everything out on you, I was jealous of the rtionship that you and Jaden had built. In just these couple months and finding out things about Jayden, I med you. I''m sorry. I hope that you can find a way to forgive me, I didn''t want to hurt you." I can see the sorrow in his eyes, I can tell that he is truly sorry. I want to forgive him. I''m just not so sure if it¡¯s too soon, I don''t want him to think that he is allowed to take advantage of me. "Landon, you hurt me. I want to forgive you, but please just give me some time." "Take as much time as you need Lilly , you better get in, their dinner will be served soon." As he smiles at me, I walk away from him hoping that I can get over what has happened. When I see Jayden waiting patiently I''m surprised I have never seen him so still. I go to sit down, Jayden jumps up and runs over to me "wait Lilly." I stop dead in my tracks as he rushes over to me, I see him grab the chair, and he pulls it out for me to sit"ok Lilly now you can sit." I smile "well thank you sir." "Your wee Lilly." As Landon serves the food, I wait for us both to have some then I begin eating. I look over to see Jayden have spaghetti all over his face. I wonder what Landon is doing, even though I shouldn''t care. I feel bad that he is eating alone when there is plenty of room for him to eat with us. It is so quiet because of Jayden''s mouth being so full of spaghetti. I don''t think that he has ever been this quiet, I giggled. As I hear a sound, I look back into the kitchen, I see Landon eating. He looks up at me, I see the lust in his eyes knowing that he still desires me. Property ? N?velDrama.Org. I can''t help but crave him, also. Uncertain what effect he has on me that he can hurt me, but I still want to taste him. I can feel the room be warm imagining him touching me all over as I begin to get wet. I try to not lose control. I forget what I''m doing and where I''m at. I''m reminded by Jayden yelling my name "Lilly Lilly Lilly hello why are you not listening to me." "I look over Jayden oh I''m sorry I spaced out I didn''t mean to." "It''s ok, how is your spaghetti?" "Oh my god it is so good I love it the best spaghetti I have ever eaten." I then began to think of Landon cooking the spaghetti naked. God, what is happening to me you need to snap out of it. When I go to look at him again he is not there. I''m sort of disappointed but I wonder why. I shouldn''t care where he is or what he is doing, it is none of my business. I look over at Jayden "wow this dinner was so special I really appreciate all the thought you put into it." "Anything for you Lilly I miss you." "I missed you too, why don''t we have dinner together every Sunday that will be are day. Just ask your dad to make sure it is ok with him as well." "Ok I can ask my daddy." "Buddy, I got to go for now, but I will see you tomorrow it''s gettingte." "But I wanted to watch a movie." "We can tomorrow I promise I''m just so tired." I need to get out of here. I can feel Star going crazy wanting toe out. She has been silent and all of a sudden she is now ready to talk. I''m so grateful I need her. I feel so much stronger with her, I have been feeling so iplete without her hoping she will help me feel whole again. "Jayden, is that ok?" "I guess Lilly." I feel bad for disappointing Jayden, but I need to go for a run. I''m going crazy. I need to allow Star to come out. I need to care about myself too, not just others. I''m important too. chapter 28 chapter 28 As soon as I get out the door, I shift into my Wolf. As I hear Star howl I am so relieved she''s happy. She takes off and we run as fast as we can loving the chilly breeze going through our Fur. I can tell that she enjoys it just as much as I do. I''m sorry Lily with everything that has happened I had to regain control. Finding out we are pregnant and everything that has happened with our mate. Especially the fact that we are about to be parents. I''m freaking out. I needed time to absorb all of it. I''m sorry I''d never left you. I was always there, just silent. Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. It''s OK Star. I''m just happy that you''re back. We all need time to adjust to our new life that we are given. We are going to be parents and I know I am scared, and I guarantee that you are too. Everything has changed so fast but one thing that has not changed is we have each other forever. Lilly, I want us to find out what we are. I know that Dean was supposed to start training but why hasn''t he. I don''t know I forgot everything that has happened with Jayden, I forgot I don''t know why he hasn''t even approached me about it. We need to find out what our abilities are, so we can protect our pup from whatever is toe. If we have each other, there is no questioning our safety, we will protect each other at all costs. We need to join a pack Lilly. I want to stay here. I want to be a part of this pack. Oh, star I don''t know if it''s the right choice to be a part of the pack. Landon is great sometimes when he wants to be, anyway. He has so many different mood swings he''s so hard to follow. Lilly, you and I both know that we are where we are supposed to be. That there is nowhere else more than we belong to. I know that we have our issues here, but this is our pack. I think that we really should make it official. Especially before our pup is born she will need a ce to belong. I know that Star is right, but I''m afraid to ept a packter to find that they don''t want me. I don''t want to be rejected again. It was hard enough when my mate rejected me. I don''t want to have to leave here. Wait, did you say she? I stop running to take a break, finding out I''m having a girl. I''m excited. I ''ve been trying to forget that I was even pregnant but finding out I''m having a girl has made it real. A feelinging over me, needing to protect her. Not wanting her to ever feel the pain that I have felt. Realizing I ran too far as I''m too close to Ivan he will be able to sense what I have done. As I''m feeling like I''m being watched I stare up to the top of wicked falls, a smell ovees me. It''s the most amazing smell that I have ever smelled. I can''t move, I stand and just inhale it. The satisfaction I''m getting is remarkable, as I bite my lip trying to control myself. I hear a deep voice. I know who it is, but I''m frozen. "Lilly, is that really you?" I turn around to see Ivan. I''m not scared, just turned on by his scent. I can''t control myself. My body doesn''t listen to my mind as I shift and stand there naked I hear him let out a growl knowing my body is exposed for all to see. I run over to him. Our lips connect, I''m so aroused by his touch that my pussy begins to gush with excitement. He kisses me back and my body explodes knowing thest time was a time of horror, but I don''t care I want him more than I have ever wanted anything. As I push him down to the ground, he falls back easily and allows me to do as I please. I get on top of him waiting to be satisfied loving being in control. It''s time for me to take what I want from him. As I unzip his pants, I can see his excitement as he has pre-cum on his cock I bend down licking his pre-cum off his cock loving the taste of his cock wanting to taste all of him. As he lets out a moan of pleasure, my pussy even gushes more for him. God, the excitement that is oveing is mind-blowing. I lean up, so I can insert his cock into my nice wet pussy, feeling it throbbing in my hand. I bit my lip full of excitement Once I get his feel length inside I began to fuck him. As our pleasure moans echo through the falls. Not caring who hears us as cum my body shivers with delight. As I slow, he isn''t finished. He grabs a hold of my hips and forces my hips to move. Loving the way it feels and my body wanting more of him. I can''t stop even though I don''t want to satisfy him, but I can''t help but want more of him. Once I feel his warm liquid, my body copses on top of him. I rest on top, forgetting all that he has put me through. As I go to get up, he puts his arms around me gently with barely any force, knowing I could run but surprisingly not wanting too. "Lilly, I''m so sorry for what I have done to you." As I look in beautiful blue eyes, "I''m not going back with you, I found where I belong." His eyes go ck, I know that he is angry. "You belong with me, no one else." "Ivan, you are marrying someone else. I will not live in misery. I deserve better." His eyes that are ck go back to being blue, I know that he has calmed down. "Can you just tell me where you will be, so I can just check on you, I won''t bother you, I promise." "When you show that I can trust you I will but for now, let''s just free each other." Knowing I will always have a piece of him since his baby is growing inside me. I can''t tell him he won''t let me leave. He will make me stay to just take our baby away from me. I go to get up as he grabs me tighter. "I have to go. I don''t belong here, I belong somewhere else. I finally found happiness." I know that he is struggling to let me go, but he does. I shift and take off, looking back making sure he isn''t following me. Shocked by what has just happened but relieved that I don''t have to live In fear of him. Lilly, I want to be with my mate. We need to go back. Star, that is not where we belong, we are needed elsewhere, and he is marrying someone else. We need to move on from this. Please, Lilly, I want to go back. Star I''m not going back to a life that will only be full of misery. We deserve better. I block her out knowing I''m doing the right thing. I finally want to be a part of a pack, and it''s not Ivan''s pack but Landon''s pack. I will survive without my mate. I don''t need him. Landon''s pack needs me, they need my protection. I want to train and help in ways only I can. chapter 29 chapter 29 IVAN''S POV What have I done to my mate, I am a monster? I needed her to hate me, so it would be easier for me when I marry. Instead, I made it worse by hurting her. I will never be able to forgive myself for what I have done to her. I know that she pushed and pushed until I reacted. She just wouldn''t stop. I wanted to make her pay for ruining everything. I could have controlled my wolf, but instead I wanted to hurt her. She felt pain, so I left him to take control and take what he wanted, knowing I wanted the same thing. I wanted to punish her for defining me. I''m so angry I never wanted her in the first ce. Why did she have toe along? I lied to her, and I told her that she was my third mate, knowing I''ve never had a mate until now. I have given up all hope and then there shees along, I hate her for it. I had a n, and she ruined it. I can feel her pain because of what I have done, and it makes me feel even more rage. I want to apologize for what I have done. I will not show her any sympathy. If I show her any kind of vulnerability she will be able to take advantage of my weakness. I will not allow that to happen. I need to stay in control and figure this out. Damn it she is taking off I should have known that she would try to run, that is what she always does. I hate that she is defining me once again. Hating that I now have to run after her, I make my way to the door and shift to run after her. I don''t know why she thinks she can escape me. When I see her at the cliff I know she doesn''t have the guts to jump. She is weak, a poor excuse of a wolf. I mind link her telling her there is nowhere for her to go that I won''t find her. She then shifts into her human I think that she has given up but then she does the unthinkable and jumps off the cliff. I try to reach her, but I am toote. She is gone. I stand over the cliff as I feel our connection break. I drop to my knees, it feels as if my heart is being ripped from my chest. I feel all the emotions at once as I realize that my beautiful mate has killed herself. What have I done, I broke her to the point of her killing herself? As I fill up with rage, wondering what kind of monster I am. I drove my own mate to kill herself. Knowing that she deserved so much better than what I gave her. All I wanted was power. I did not care about anything else. I was even willing to sacrifice my own mate to gain power. What kind of alpha does that make me? When I lost the connection with her, I knew there was no way of her surviving, I searched for her body, but I never found her knowing it must have been washed away by the falls. She was unknown by most, so there was no need to exin her disappearance. It was like she never existed. My brother was the only other person who knew, as he was in the woods and saw everything that happened. He won''t speak to me or even look at me, for that matter. I don''t me him, I am a monster. As the days passed since my mate is gone, my life has no meaning. I''ve been abandoning my alpha duties. I know that I need to get control of myself. But I am somewhat lost, I don''t know how to get it back to who I was. I''m struggling with what all has happened. I want to forget about it, I just don''t know how. I meet my bride to be today but all I feel is anger knowing that she is the cause of me losing my mate. It is her felt the way I treated my mate. I should have told my parents the truth about meeting my mate, instead I lied to gain control of two territories. Greed took over me, I deserve whatever paines my way and I know this. As I bury myself in Alpha duties that I have been putting on hold but now needs my action. My mind is somewhere else,, but I''m trying to concentrate as much as I can. I know I need to stop this nonsense of being weak and take back control of my life. My Beta approached me even though he is my brother. He does his duties but doesn''t show any kind of emotion toward me, it is like he is a robot around me. "Sir your bride is here and is ready to meet you, she is a firecracker, Sir." "Thank you, Sam, I will be out, please lead her to the dining area and I will be right there." I don''t need to add on more stress that I''m already under, damn it. Why this today I want to avoid dealing with her. I have so much work that needs to be done. I have no time to get everything that needs to be done. Let alone entertain a little spoiled she wolf. That I need to marry to gain control of her pack. Because of her father growing old he has a son, but he left to be the alpha of his mate''s pack. So now he wants a powerful wolf to take care of his pack. I hearmotion out of my office Door I go to stand to look to see what is happening. That is when I see her, my soon to be bride yelling at my Beta, walking towards me. She looks at me, but she seems so baffled, "can we please talk right now? I did not want to wait. Can I, please have some of your time."? I motioned for her toe in, I prefer not to talk to her, but I don''t have a choice. If she is going to be my wife, I need to show her some kind of respect. The respect I should have shown my own mate, but that is toote now. "Look, Alpha Ivan, I do not want to marry you. My father is forcing me to, and it''s not fair I shouldn''t have to, please don''t go through with this marriage and try toe up with another way that doesn''t involve this. We deserve to find our true mates." I look at her, surprised that my impression of her was totally wrong. "What do you expect me to do, your father is a very determined man, and he wants this wedding to happen. There really isn''t any other way if you can find one, please tell me?" "Why do we need to be married for you to be the Alpha of both packs, why can''t you just be Alpha without a wife?" "If that happens, your father''s bloodline will be no longer be in his pack." "Our child would not be a true Alpha because we are not true mates. Our child would be a weak Alpha that could get your pack killed." "We will just have to figure that out with the timees." Property ? N?velDrama.Org. "No, I don''t want to be your wife." "Thene up with a n for you to get yourself out of it." "Fine, I will, I''m not staying here until need be, so I will be leaving." "That''s fine, do as you wish. I will have my Beta to stay with you so you ''re protected." As I call for my brother, I can see that he has an irritated expression on his face but following his Beta role. "Please stay with her for protection while she is out." "Fine." As I watched them leave, I''m relieved not wanting to be bothered, hoping she can find a way out of this marriage, so I never have to be bothered by her ever again. I can''t find it in myself to care, to even help her figure out a way to make her happy. I don''t care if she is happy, her happiness doesn''t matter to me. I''m lost in my grief over losing a mate that I never showed any kind of affection towards, hating myself for it. Wondering how life would have been if I just epted her and let her take her rightful spot as my wife and Luna to my pack. As days have passed without my soon to be bride being present, I''m able to get Much needed work finished. I have been avoiding unnecessary connection with anybody. Knowing I need to be able To at least for pretend that everything is ok. I get a big surprised when my thoughts get interrupted by my mother I hate that she is here, shocked that she just showed up unannounced she is able to see through all my bullshit. "Hello Ivan, I have been trying to contact you, but you have not answered. So, I decide toe and visit." "I''m sorry, mother, I have been busy with my pack duties." "Ivan, what is going on with you, something just doesn''t seem right you can talk to me." As much as I want to tell her everything that has happened I can''t, I don''t want my own mother to be disappointed in me. When I''m already disappointed enough in myself. I press a fake smile on "everything is great there is nothing for you to worry about." "Ivan, I know that you''re not telling me something but when you''re ready to talk about it just no I''m here." My father cuts my mother off "There is my son working hard where is your soon to be bride. I heard she arrived, I haven''t seen her." "She had things to take care of, I sent Sam with her to watch over her to keep her safe." "I hear she is a beauty I''m so proud of you, my boy you will soon be an Aphal of one of the biggest packs in the world." I look at him with shameful eyes, knowing what it cost me, knowing now that it wasn''t worth losing my mate. "Yes, for a sacrifice that should have been more important to me. I just left it to die to take power that I didn''t need because I was already strong enough." My parents look at me, confused. "Son, what are you talking about?" My mother asked. I''m too ashamed to tell her the truth I just ignore her as I look out the window I see Sam and my bride coming to the house I think prefect timing, I tell myself. "Herees my bride, now you will be able to meet her, it seems that they are back." As my family walks down, my brother looks surprised. I look at them and say, "look who came to meet you." Fuck I don''t even know her name I don''t know what to say, I freeze. She smiles "hi I''m Jenny it''s a pleasure to meet you Ivan has told me so much about you." I put a fake smile on, like we are just a fucking happy rearranged couple. Like we have known each other and were met to be together. Looking at my mother, I know that she isn''t so easy to convinced. My father on the other hand is blinded by the lies and is so easy to fooled. "It is a pleasure to meet you my love" my father reaches out for her hand and kisses her hand. Sheughs, "No the pleasure is all mine." I am not amused. I look at all of them smiling, it''s making me sick. "Well, I need to get back to work if you want to continue. That is fine, but I need to get to work." My mother puts her hand out to mine, "Ivan, can''t your work wait untilter." "No, it can''t. I''m sorry I have to go but don''t let me spoil your good time. Enjoy yourselves." I smile and walk away, not wanting to be a part of them meeting her or getting to know her. I just want all of this to go away, but I feel like it''s a never ending game that will continue having to y until they''re just isn''t anymore to y with. I get to my office, feeling relieved that I''m finally alone. As the days go by, I don''t speak to anyone and I continue burying myself into my work trying to get what all needs to be settled before the wedding. So, both packs will be satisfied without anyone getting more than the other, so they are all treated fairly. It is crazy how far they look into detail with these things. The door to my office swings open. I get angry before I can react. Jenny barges in and says, "I got it. I came up with a n. I mean, it''s a long shot, but I think it might work. I feel intrigued, "okay so let''s hear your n." "I am going to n my own death." "That won''t work if I allow anything to happen to you, then there would be a war between packs." "That''s why it''s not going to happen under you. I will n it around my protection, so I won''t endanger anyone." "Do as you please, but don''t get caught by your father and I will not have any involvement." "That''s fine I don''t need your help I will be able to do it on my own goodbye I am going home for now you won''t see me again thank you." "Good luck proving your death, it will not be easy to make it believable." "Maybe so, but it''s worth a shot of freedom." I have no idea how she is going to do it but I hope she does. I don''t want her. I would rather just be alone. I would be a better Alpha with no distractions, even if he chooses not tobine packs. My pack will still be the stronger pack, he won''t dare try to attack, his pack would no longer exist. As the days are passing I haven''t heard from Jenny, I decide to contact her father. Knowing if I don''t reach out, it would look like I don''t care. I call him and he says she is out with friends and that she should be back in a couple of days. Knowing that she isn''t going to be back, that she is already gone. I decided to go for a run to clear my head, needing to get out of my office. Once I leave my house I shift and begin to run as fast as I can feel my lungs burning. Knowing I haven''t run in some time and feeling out of shape. I then see the dreadful spot where my mate decided to take her own life. As I approach the top of wicked falls. As I''m looking over the falls in the breeze, there is a smell that makes my heart sink. It smells like vani with a hint of cinnamon, a smell I run towards the scent knowing it can''t be. She can''t be alive, I felt the bond broken. Could it really be her? I run with everything in Me, I need it to be her. As I see her wolf I am shocked, I shift, "Lilly is that really you?" She says nothing when she shifts, I can''t help but to let a growl out not liking that she is exposed for all to see. She runs over to me and connects her lips to mine. I can feel the excitement she has over her entire body. I know what she wants, surprised by her actions it''s almost like she is in heat, and she has no control. She pushes me to the ground and puts her naked body on top of mine, knowing my cock is already hard and ready for her. As she positions herself, I can feel that her pussy is gushing for me as I can feel her wetness on me, I can''t help but pre-cum when she grabs my cock and sees mine cum she puts my cock in her mouth to lick it off. Feeling her lips around my cock I wanted to cum all over her face, but I held back, wanting her to pleasure herself with my cock. When she inserts my cock into her tight pussy, I feel pleasure that I have never felt before. As she fucks me, I grip on to her breast squeezing her perfectly shaped nipples as I make them hard. As she fucks me faster, I know that she is about to cum. I can feel her pussy juices around my cock like it''s drowning it as she has her orgasm before she goes to stop. I grip on to her hip and force her to give me more. She has no objection as I am making her body shiver in more pleasure. I can feel her pussy tightening up once again as she has another orgasm. I then cum in her already juiced filled pussy. I let go of her, and she copsed on top of me. When she gets up, I can see the regret in her eyes which makes me sad. I am her mate, and she is mine, but she wants nothing to do with me because I am a monster. She wants me to let her go, to let her be free and do as she, please. She doesn''t want my protection, she wants nothing to do with me which makes me angry. I agree to let her go for now, but I will not promise to stay away forever, she will be mine. chapter 30 chapter 30 I have been lost for words since I ran into Ivan. Surprised that he left me free, I still wonder for how long it will be for. Now that he knows I''m alive. I have to tell Landon everything, I can''t put it off any longer he needs to know. I have never lied to him. He really has never asked about my past. I am just afraid. That he will make me leave. As I toss and turn in my bed, there''s no use for sleep. I get up, head to the bathroom. I turn the water on for the shower, maybe this will rx me. I undress while the water is warming. I look at myself in the mirror with my growing belly. As I can feel her movement, I be grateful that I have her. Lost and thought, the mirror steams. I open the shower curtain and step in, letting the hot water pour over my body. I try just to rx, but my mind is everywhere. All I can remember is his touch that made my body crazy. I crave his touch, I don''t know why, I wonder what is happening to me. Star is angry because I did not go back to him. The life with him is so uncertain that I can''t bear to even try. I am not that weak woman that I was, I am strong. I will not allow him to take advantage of me. He is to be married, and I would be left to be alone. I struggle in my thoughts as the hot water touches my skin. I can''t allow my feelings to develop for him. I try my hardest to push them aside. As I wash my hair and my body. I scrubbed the dirt away, hoping that once I get out that I am clean from all of this. It was one poor judgement that I should have never allowed to happen. I don''t belong to anyone, I am free no matter the cost. As I get out of the shower to dry myself, I know that I need to tell Landon everything. He has a right to know in case I put him in danger and everyone in his pack. I would not me him if he wanted me to go. I just hope that he cares enough to allow me to stay. I tried so hard to block any feelings for anyone, but there was no use. Even though Landon caused me pain. There is just something about him that I Can''t resist. I''ve been trying to tell myself that it''s all a lie, that I don''t care about him. But I know he is what brought me back to life.Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. This pack is what gave me something to live for. It made me not want to give up or run. I''m so mad at myself for putting all of my happiness in danger. Knowing that Ivan could swipe in at any time and take it all away. I now wonder if I should stay, maybe I should leave. I go to get my clothes, feeling so confused, I want to befortable as I putfortable clothes on. I am so lost and not sure what to do, maybe I should ask somebody. I gather my thoughts and put my shoes on and head to the door. I need to talk to Dean, he''ll know what to do. As I am walking through the pack and looking at everybody outside. I see happiness, that is all I want. I don''t feel judged, I feel epted even though nobody really talks to me. But I believe that is mainly my fault for not talking to them. It''s me not trying to build rtionships, being afraid of what will happen, not wanting to get hurt. If I begin to care about people, what happens when they are gone. It''s the pain that I felt losing my family. I don''t ever want to feel again, that is what is preventing me from caring about others. I think that is one of the main reasons why I am so afraid to get connected to my pregnancy. When I fill her, movement it makes my heart overflow with so much love it terrifies me. I am filled with so much emotion and need to let it out, I''m hoping that Dean is not busy, so I can talk to him. Knowing that he is not the person who I really need to be talking to, but I need to figure this out before I talk to Landon. When I reach Dean''s house, I''m almost relieved. I knock on the door, but it''s not Dean that answers, it''s Landon. "Lilly good morning." I''m surprised to see him, at first I don''t respond, and then I''m thinking hello answer him. "Good morning, Landon is Dean here." "Yes he is, he wanted to do a quick check up on Jayden to make sure everything healed nicely." "Is Jayden OK, he''s not having any issues is he?" "He is fine, he was upset because of you running outst night. You couldn''t stay to hang out with him, you had to just leave." "No I''m sorry, I didn''t know it upset him." "Of course it upset him, he hasn''t seen you in days, and you just take off after only spending an hour with him." "Landon, I''m sorry I can spend more time with him, I want to spend more time with him." "Don''t bother, I don''t want someone who is just going to spend time and run out on him when they get tired of him." "Landon, it was not that I promise you, maybe we can talk about this. I want to talk to you, I want to tell you everything." "Really, I don''t want to hear your excuses." "Landon, it was my Wolf she left me, and then she was back I was so overjoyed I needed to go for a run, I''m sorry." As Dean begins to walk out with Jayden, I see his face light up with a smile. But sadly, it then starts to fade, it was like my heart sank with his fading smile. I could tell that he was upset with me. What have I done? I know I had no control. I needed to run. Was it something I needed for myself? Why does everyone feel that what I need isn''t important? chapter 31 chapter 31 I continue to walk up to Jayden to talk to him aboutst night, "Hey buddy, I''m sorry for just taking off." But when I speak, it''s like I have no words. He acted like he didn''t hear me and just walked to Landon. "Daddy, can we please go home now."? I''m confused as to why he is treating me like this. I have done nothing but be nice to him, but instead he is now acting like I don''t exist. I want to chase after him. But I will not beg to be loved. As I held my tears back, Dean approached me. "Lilly, is there something that you need?" "Why are you not helping me with my abilities? You said that you would begin my training, but you have done nothing?" "I was waiting for you to be a member of the pack, so you would have a bond with a pack." "As you can tell, I''m not wanted here, to be honest, I''m not wanted anywhere." "Lilly, I wouldn''t be so sure that you are not wanted here. I know that you are, and that you are even loved here." "Landon hates me and now Jayden." "Jayden does not hate you, he is a 5-year-old boy that is still grieving the loss of his mother. Youe along and you''re making him face it. He was able to be with her by hurting himself, but promising you not to hurt himself is making him face it that she really is gone," "Lilly, you ran out on himst night no matter what it was for it hurt him reminding how easy it is for people to just despair." I run outside to catch up to Jayden and pick him up from behind and hug him. "I''m sorry about yesterday, but I need you to know something. I''m not going to just disappear, I promise you Jayden, I love you." I go to put him down,, but his tiny arms try to wrap around me, and he is holding on to me for dear life. So, I just hold him and allow him to decide when he is ready to let go. "Lilly, I know you didn''t do anything wrong, I just wanted to be with you so much and got so sad when you left then I just became so mad at you." "Buddy, is there any way you could forgive me?" Original content from N?velDrama.Org. "Yes Lilly, I''m sorry for being mean to you." "All is forgiven, let''s do something fun to forget all about this." "Ok, what do you want to do?" "Buddy, why don''t you choose?" "Ok, Do you want to go back to my house and watch the movie that we didn''t get to watch." "That sounds wonderful, if it''s OK with your father." I can tell that Landon looks frustrated with me, I don''t know why I''m trying to make things right. He doesn''t care, he''s just angry, it''s always my fault no matter what. "No, actually it is a problem. You can''t just decide when It is convenient for you to spend time with him." "Landon, what are you talking about? Why is it that no matter what I do, it''s never good enough for you? You always have something awful to say." "Don''t push this back on me Lilly, it was your actions that caused this." "Fine, Jayden, if I''m not allowed at your house you''re more wee at mine any time you please." I go to walk away because I know that Landon is not going to allow me to spend any time with Jayden. I''m not sure if it''s pure jealousy, or maybe he just hates me. Then I feel a little hande into mine. "Lilly, I''m sorry that my daddy is angry, it''s my fault." "It''s not your fault it is mine nothing is your fault I shouldn''t have ran off, but I did. I have reasoning behind it, but my reasoning doesn''t matter to anyone." "Lilly, it matters to me." I squat down to his height, looking into his beautiful forest green. My eyes filled with tears, happy that I at least have him that really cares about me. "I''m so happy that I have you to care about me, I''m so lucky. " I''m done trying to fight to be a part of anything. What is the point? Maybe I am just not meant to belong anywhere. There''s never going to be a good time to talk to him about anything. He always judges for no reason, he doesn''t really know me. The anger inside him is so full I''m not certain if it will ever go away. He pushes so much of that anger towards me. I tried to be OK with it, but sometimes it just hurts. I know that I said that I would never leave Jayden. But I also said that I will not live in misery, I want to be happy. Once I figured out what I wanted, it was only taken. I don''t want to walk away from Jayden, but what choice do I have? I then let go of his little hand as tears began to fill my eyes. I attempt to walk back to my cabin, but then all of a sudden, a pain ovees me. I scream out and fall to my knees, not knowing what is happening. My body feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I can feel my wolf howl inside my head as Stares through "Lilly it is our mate he''s going to die." chapter 32 chapter 32 When I hear star''s words, my heart aches knowing that something is happening. I stand up and fight through the pain and shift. I take off knowing that I need to find him, so I can help him. Knowing that he doesn''t deserve it,, but my child deserves to have a father. I don''t want him dead, he needs to survive. I can feel the pain worsen and ease up at the same time. Then I wonder if he is being tortured. Wondering if they are torturing him almost to death but not actually allowing him to die just being barely alive. Is that why I am feeling this pain what is happening. I''m running as fast as I can, trying to pick up his scent, hoping I won''t be toote? He is an alpha, he is strong so why is he on the verge of dying. As I be closer, I''m surprised by what I see. I see Ivan tied to a tree, tears fill my eyes at the sight of his agony. I run up to the tree then touch him as his heades up, he looks at me with ck eyes full of anger. Once he realizes it''s me, his eyes go blue, and he says my name. "Oh my God Ivan, what has happened to you who has done this?" "Lily you need to run and don''t evere back here please you''re not safe. Let me here to die, just run please." "Ivan, I can''t let you hear to die , you''re going to be a father, our daughter is going to need you." He looks at me with tears in his eyes, it''s almost like he''s broken. Knowing how it feels, I put my hands on his wounds to help heal them. When I see it''s not working I shift. I then allow star to lick all of his wounds until the blood is gone. Hoping that he hasn''t lost so much that he will faint. Knowing I will never be able to carry him. As most of his wounds are no longer bleeding, I shift back to my human and untie his body from the tree. I try to help to where his body doesn''t hit the ground hard. But he is definitely not light, so he doesn''t hit the ground as softly as he should. Once he hits the ground, I hear a groan. I''m so thankful that he''s awake and that he''s alive. As I hear twigs breaking, I be nervous hoping that it is not another Wolf,, especially the Wolf that has been torturing him. I jumped and looked back, I noticed Landon standing there. As he gets closer, I can see the confusion in his eyes. I want to exin everything, but there''s no point. He doesn''t care. "I followed you Jayden wanted me to make sure that you were but you look just fine to me. "Landon, I wanted to tell you my story, but you chose not to hear it. Ivan is my mate. I felt his pain. I knew he was in danger, he''s the father of my child. I could not allow him to die and have my daughter never meet her father, and it is my fault. So, you can sit and judge and do whatever you please, I don''t care, I''m done caring about what you think of me." "Lilly Jenny is supposed to be with Landon and his pack, what if they got attacked?" When I look at his face, I can see he is terrified. Wondering if something has happened to his sister. "Landon, let''s take Ivan back to your territory and get some of your warriors. We can''t go alone if there is an attack." "You just want to take your mate to my territory to be safe, and who cares who else suffers." "What the fuck we can''t stand here and argue about this, we are wasting time if they need our help." Landon goes quiet, not sure what he ns to do. I decided not to waste any time. With this fight, it''s just not worth it. I see his point, but I also see mine. If they''re strong enough to take down an Alpha, it could be too much trouble that we would be walking into. We need help so we our able to defend ourselves "Ivan, I need you to help me hold some of your own weight." As I''m trying to get him to his feet, he is so unsteady that he is almost making me fall. It doesn''t stop me, I struggle to get him to safety. As it almost seems like he ising in and out of consciousness. "Ivan, stay awake please, you need to help me. I need to get you somewhere safe." "Lilly, I was attacked. You need to save my pack. I don''t know if they will go after them please." "Ivan, I need to make sure that you ''re okay first." "Lilly, I never deserved you, I''m sorry that you got stuck with me as a mate." All of a sudden he bes lighter, I then notice that Landon went on the other side of him. I am so thankful that he decided to help me. I know that he must have seen my struggle. But not sure why he decided to help, but d he did. Now that Landon is helping me, we are moving along faster. As we enter Landon''s territory I look over at him, let''s just take him to my cabin so he can rest there. So, we don''t rm everyone by walking him through your territory, people may panic." He says nothing, we just go to my cabin. Once we get there, Landon helps mey him on the bed. I go to walk away but Ivan grabs me, "Thank you, Lilly." "Landon, we need to hurry to go and see if others need our help." "No, as you were walking back I went to look over his territory there was no attack." "What do you mean then he was targeted but why?" "I need to talk to his Beta and find out what is going on." T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. "Wait if he is being targeted then it would put him in danger telling where he is " "Lilly, his pack needs to know his whereabouts." "He had to know his attacker, there wouldn''t be any way they would have injured him so badly, can we at least just wait until he is healed please." "No, I''m not hiding another Alpha on my territory." "Landon, he could be in danger, please." "Fine, just for one night." "Thank you." Chapter 33 Chapter 33 IVAN''S POV As I am leaving the woods from my encounter with Lily. I am in shock, wondering how the hell she survived that fall. All this time I was calling her weak, but I was so wrong. I hate myself even more now for treating her the way I did. Remembering When I touched her skin it felt like a delicate flower, so soft. I tried to snap out of my thoughts of thinking of her, it''s distracting me as I am tripping over branches that are on the ground. Realizing that I have made the biggest mistake Underestimating my own mate. I shift into my wolf and take off to the pack house. I need a distraction. From thinking of her it''s making me crazy and craving more of her, I want to respect her and let her be free. Even though I''m not going to be able to let her free for long. I am hoping now more than ever that Jenny finds a way out of this marriage. Not really sure how she is going to do it, but I''m looking forward to it. If she can get out of it, then I will be able to be happy with my mate. I know that I will have a lot to make up for gaining her trust, knowing it will be all worth it in the end. She will be mine eventually, it just takes time, but am I going to be able to wait to get the satisfaction that she gives me for long. Now that my wolf knows that she is alive, I can feel his powering back to me more. Not that I was weak before, but now I feel invincible. I know that he wants his mate, I do too, but I messed that up. I will get her back no matter what. I just have to figure out how. I can feel my body ache for her, wanting to be close to her. I have never felt this for anybody that I have ever encountered. I always thought that this whole mate thing was bullshit, that it was all an act. Now I realize that I was the one who was full of shit somehow I hid my feelings for her so deep inside me, I made them non- existing. What a fool I am Realizing now that power is not worth losing your mate. As nighttime ising, I reach the pack house and go straight to my room. I don''t want to shower, I crave her scent to be near me. As it sends chills up my spine and arousal takes over. I want to be satisfied, but knowing there is no wolf here that could satisfy me like her. As Iy in my bed trying to fall asleep but all I keep replying in my mind is fucking her. Loving how she just took what she wanted and fucked me hard. Knowing if she was here, I would make her do it again. As my cock gets hard, I begin to stroke it, thinking of her perfect breast as I sucked on her nipples making them hard. Imagining that my hand is her hand that is stroking my hard, throbbing cock. Not being able to stop, I felt my warm liquid on my hand, wishing instead it was on her face, as she liked her lips. I get up to clean myself, knowing there is no use of trying to sleep. So, I go to my office to work on some of my leftover work I had lifted from the other day. God, she is so distracting why can''t I just forget about her As hours pass I see that it is morning. I can''t take any more of her, distracting me so I decide to go for a run to try to clear my head. As I am running in the woods I hear an odd noise that almost sounds like a crying from a baby. I stop to try to make it out, the sound wondering why there would be a baby this far in the woods. As I get closer to the noise, I shift into my human, not wanting to scare the child with my wolf. Then all of a sudden, I feel a sharp pinch in the back of my neck as I fall to the ground. I try to move, but I can''t, It''s almost like I am paralyzed. I continue to try to move, but there is no use. I fall to the ground, not being able to move a muscle. I start to feel something I have never felt, then I realize its fear. Not being able to help myself, fear ovees me. I can''t even let out a howl of desperation for help. I hear a woman''s voice, knowing who she was but not being able to put my finger on it. That''s when I see her as she approaches me. "Hello Ivan you''re right there was no n that I could come up with to escape you. So, instead, I came up with a n to kill you." I can feel my blood begin to boil with anger, but I can''t react, it''s like I''m stuck in my own mind, trapped. Maybe this is what I deserve, especially because of what I did to my own mate. Maybe I deserve to suffer just the way I made her suffer. Realizing that Jenny was never going anywhere, that she was watching me and waiting for the perfect time to strike. How would she have known I was here, I wondered if her and Lily were working together to kill me. I don''t me Lily for wanting to kill me. Sorrow takes over me, thinking that she hates me so much that she would want me dead. Knowing I can''t me her for her feelings, but wishing she didn''t feel that way. As I watch other wolves surround me, I try to prepare myself for what is about toe. As they shift into their wolves. I know my end is here as they attack. I feel every bit of their canines tear through my flesh. All I see is my blood covering their mouths. I can feel the pain of my flesh being torn apart but unable to react. I then feel liquiding from my eyes, realizing that I''m crying. As I''m fading away, they pick up my lifeless body from the ground. As my legs are dragging, I ept that this is it. Regretting decisions that I made, wishing I could make it up to the people I hurt. As they throw my body against the tree, I can''t help but want to be dead, not wanting to feel the pain that is oveing my entire body. As they begin to hold my body against the tree they tie a rope as it''s getting tighter and tighter I can''t handle it any longer. I hear Jenny screaming at the wolves that are helping her. "Come on, let''s go get him tied to the tree, something wille and take care of the rest, or he will bleed out before anybody can save him. We need to go Now So that are alibis add up." I ept that this is what is to happen, tired of trying to fight the pain. I just let ckness take over. T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. A smell nodges me awake knowing I smell Lily. I be terrified thinking she''s going to be in danger. As I felt her touch, I told her to run, but she didn''t listen. I would rather die than endanger her if she''s helping to set me free. Does this mean she wasn''t involved? As she begins to lick my wounds, my pain is slowly going away. I wonder if it''s her helping me or am I dying. I feel like giving up as I fade away more, but then I hear her say something that makes me fight. Your daughter needs you. I know then I need to fight. It''s the words that saved my life as she''s trying desperately to help me. I have no strength. I want her to run worrying if they see her saving me she will be next and. I will not be able to protect her. I hear another voice. I then realized she isn''t alone, not sure who is with her. As my body dropped to the ground as I let out a growl of pain. I realize I am healing. How could this be I''ming back? What did she do to bring me back to life? How did she save me? My vision is blurry, but when I look down, all the wounds that I have are gone. I can feel a desperation that she is trying so hard to save me, but why would she want our daughter would be better without me? As she is begging me to help her, I don''t know where she is taking me. I try As hard as I can. My body can''t handle The Strain, and then I feel my other side being lifted. I know then I can finally just rx and everything just close ck. chapter 34 chapter 34 I know that Landon is unsure of letting Ivan stay and not telling anyone. Convincing him wasn''t easy. I had to make sure that Ivan would at least make it through the night. I don''t know who would do this to him, but they left him for dead. I know that I should not have anypassion for him, but I do. As much as I want to hate him, I just can''t. As I get back to my cabin to check on him, I see that he is still sleeping, but he''s breathing. I feel relief coming over me. I can breathe now, knowing that he''s going to survive. "Lily, we need toy with your mate and cuddle into him." "Star, you can''t expect me to do that." "Lily, you have to understand it will help him heal faster and take away some of his pain." Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. I hesitate. I know that all I should want to do is help my mate and make him feel better in any possible way. As I look at Ivan, all I see is a man who broke me. I''m still healing from what she has done. I Want to forget about it, but I''m not sure if I can do it so fast. "Lily, I know that you''re scared, but he needs you." As my body begins to shake, I am so nervous. As I put my weight on the bed, it creaks. I scoot into him and wrap my arms around him, I feel tingles all over. The nervous feeling that I had disappears and I feel nothing but rxed. I''m not sure what is going to happen from this. Now that he knows that I have his heir, is he going to take her away from me? I''m hoping I don''t have to run again. As my mind is racing in every direction I don''t feel any kind of anxiety, all I feel is rxation. I can''t even remember thest time I felt this good. I know that I''m helping him, but he''s also given me a gift of the feeling of just happiness. He is the father of my child, I want her to have a father. "Lily, I know that our mate has hurt us, but we need to find a way to forgive him. We are meant to be with our mate, we are not meant to stray away from them." "I don''t want to be forced to be with someone Star I want to be with him because of the way he makes me feel, not because of a bond that is forcing the feelings. We might be destined to be together, but I want to want to be with him and right now, I don''t want to be with him, but I don''t want him to die either." ''Lily, I''m just hoping someday maybe he will be able to make up for all the wrong that he has done." "Star, please just give me time to think about it. Don''t pressure me into making a decision, especially when I already know you have made yours." "Lily, I will give you the space to make your own choice, but please don''t give up on our mate." I''m irritated with Star pushing this on me, she knows what we went through with him. But it all just supposed to be forgiven. I don''t know if I can do that. He caused me so much pain. I just want to be left to make my own choices and figure this out for myself on what I want. As I feel my eyes getting heavy, I try to fight my sleep, but it''s bing hard to resist. Feeling so peaceful, not wanting anything more than just to go to sleep. chapter 35 chapter 35 IVAN''S POV I have never felt so helpless in my life. As I wait for what is about to happen, I clench my fist as I prepare myself for the pain I''m about to feel. I look at the men as they shift into their wolves. I try to remember every feature of my attackers, hoping to be able to identify who is doing this to me to understand why they wanted to kill me so badly. Especially on how they decided to kill me, fuck they are cowards couldn''t even allow me a chance of fighting back. Original content from N?velDrama.Org. As I watch them tear my body apart, all bite and w marks. Their mouths covered in blood drip from their lips as they lick up with their tongues, just to begin again. Wanting to ck out or just die from all the pain I''m feeling, wondering if they''re going to eat me alive. Then All of a sudden, I''m in shock when I hear Jenny''s voice, and then it confirms it''s her when I see her human as she is walking up to me with her blood covered lips. I look and see a machete in her hand then fear begins to overwhelm me as I want to move away from her, but I can''t, I try to move, but my body is still as she is getting close I see as she lifts the machete up over her shoulder and is getting ready to finish me off. I scream, warning her to stop, but she doesn''t listen to me. Then I''m woken up by the most beautiful voice. "Ivan Ivan Ivan, wake up your dreaming you are safe now Ivan, please wake up." I go to sit straight up, not noticing my surroundings but smelling my mate knowing she is with me is what makes me calm myself and not panic. Not realizing I was dreaming, it felt so real. I feel so weak knowing I was just defeated, wondering what kind of Alpha I am. How am I going to be the Alpha that my pack needs if I''m so easily defeated? I look around noticing I must be in her bedroom thinking that this must be where Lilly lives as her scent fills my nostrils. I can''t help but to inhale deeply. "Lilly, where am I?" She grabs my hand, shocked that I can see the worry in her eyes. "Ivan, you are in a different pack, I brought you to mine. I was worried that whoever hurt you would try to do it again." "Where might that be?" "I''m not sure of the name, but it is run by Alpha Landon." I struggle to control my anger as I''m starting to be able to move again. "Lilly, I need to get out of here, I need to get back to my pack, they maybe in danger." "Landon saw your pack, there was no sign of danger." "Lilly, I need to get out of here right now. I can''t stay, I need to go." As I struggle to stand, once I get to my feet I go to fall as Lilly catches me. "Damn it Ivan, you are not strong enough to go anywhere, I don''t want you getting hurt again." "Lilly, look at me. You need to get me out of here now. I need you to call Sam. I have his number, and tell him toe as soon as possible." "Ivan, please just calm down." "Lilly, it was Jenny, his sister, who attacked me. She maye here." "What Ivan, that is impossible Jenny wouldn''t do something so evil, she is a good person." "Sometimes people will do whatever they need to get what they want." I force myself to get up as her hands touch my chest, sending electronic ways through my body, her trying to prevent me from leaving. I don''t understand how her touch can feel this way. I prefer not to leave her, but I need to. My pack may be in danger, and I am not there to protect them. "Lilly, my pack is unprotected, I need to go." "Ivan, you''re not strong enough to go anywhere, you lost a lot of blood. Please just stay in bed." "Lilly, something isn''t right. If you want me to stop, then get Sam here now." chapter 36 chapter 36 LILLY''S POV I can''t believe what Ivan has just told me about Jenny. How could she be capable of something so evil? I know that Ivan hurt me, but I couldn''t have done that to him, maybe it''s just because he is my mate. I know that she didn''t want to marry him, but to kill him. Knowing the repercussions for this are going to be so bad. How do I even begin to even tell Landon? He''s going to get so angry as soon as the words escape my lips. I want to avoid lying to him. I want to tell him the truth of what I just heard. I then think maybe it is better if I just keep it to myself for now. I need to find Sam, so I can figure all this out. I don''t want Ivan to leave I don''t know if he is safe, I know that I shouldn''t care, but I do. As Ivan is sitting on my bed, I see the pain in his eyes, I can tell he is terrified. I want tofort him,, but I don''t know how. The feelings I have for him are only because of the mate bond. I walk over to him and sit beside him on the bed. "Give me Sam''s number, I will call him and tell him toe right away. But you need to promise me that you will stay right here and not try to escape, I need to know you''re safe." Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. As he looks at me, his eyebrows raised like he surprised that I am concerned about him at all. "I will stay put Lilly, just please get me Sam." And look back at him before I exit the bedroom, "please Ivan, just listen to me, I will get Sam just stay here." I don''t know why I''m so worried about him leaving. It''s not like it would make any kind of a difference. I just want him to be safe and out of harm''s way. I don''t want him to think that I care, but I can''t help but to show it. The baby has been kicking like crazy, hearing his voice. It makes me wonder if the baby knows that he is her father. As I rub my belly, I head for the door. All of a sudden, I hear a knock at the door I am nervous to answer it I automatically go into defense mode, which is odd. I go to look to see who it is, and I see it''s Landon. "Landon, I need to get a hold of Sam his brother do you have a phone." ''Yes, at my house how is he holding up." "He''s still weak but he''s recovering I need to talk to you about something But you can''t get angry at me." As we are waking over to his house, I''m nervous as I keep tucking my hair behind my ear, trying not to make it so noticeable that I''m nervous or anything is going on. I don''t say anything, waiting until we are in the privacy of his own home. I don''t want others to hear me talk, not sure who it may in danger. As we approach his house we walk in suddenly Landon grabs a hold of me forcefully but gentle at the same time. As He pushes me and pins me up against the wall, I can see fury but a motion in his eyes. "Lilly, do you love him?" "I don''t know my mate''s bond with him is strong, but my other feelings are not, I don''t love him like I should." "Lilly, I don''t want to lose you I don''t want you to leave, I need you to stay." "Landon, I am not going anywhere, I promise. I just want to help him, he''s the father of my child." As his grip loosens up on me, he let''s go, I be relieved. "Lilly, I know I can be hard to handle, and I''m sorry, but you keep me sane." I get a feeling that I''m not used to, it, almost feels like butterflies in my stomach. I know the feelings that I feel for Landon,, but he has also hurt me. I wish I could forget about all the things that have happened, but I can''t. I don''t know why I''m so easily to hurt. All I really want is just to be happy, but I really don''t know if that is even possible to be happy the way that I was when my family was alive. It''s like I''m a broken soul left just to suffer. "I will go get you the phone, so you can make your phone call." "Landon, wait, I need to tell you something." He stops and looks back to me "what is it you need to tell me." "It was Jenny that attacked Ivan." "What are you talking about, Jenny would never do anything like that, she never hurt somebody to take what she wanted?" "I''m sorry, that is what Ivan had told me, and he said that his pack is in danger, I''m thinking from your father that maybe this was the n all along to gain control of both packs." "No, if my father had organized this, he put a death sentence on my sister. There''s no way Ivan will let her survive if they attacked his pack." "Wait, I thought you said the pack was fine, that they weren''t being attacked." "There was nothing we could have done, it was already gone, so I lied. I saw my sister, she said that she escaped. That they were attacked by a pack of rouges,, so that''s what I thought attacked Ivan." "What is wrong with you, why wouldn''t you have told me the truth I could have helped them." "Lilly, you can''t heal everybody and nobody knows what you are, It would have put you in danger." "What is the use of my power if I''m not using it to save others. You should have told me the truth. I need to call Sam to see if he survived." I take the phone from his hand pissed off that he lied to me, my hands began to shake scared that Sam isn''t going to answer. As I struggle to dail the numbers with my shaky hands, tears began to fill my eyes. Once all the numbers are dialed I be scared that he isn''t going to answer. I put the phone up against my ear, then I hear a woman''s voice. "Who is this, where is Sam." I ask with desperation in my voice, wanting to know that he survived. Her voice is shaky, I can tell she has been crying. "First, you tell me where Ivan is. He is the only one who knows this number, where is my son." "I can''t tell you where he is, how do I know that you won''t try to hurt him. He is safe, he told me to call Sam and tell him toe, please tell me where is Sam." Sam isn''t able toe he." I cut her off, not allowing her to finish what she is about to say. "Where are you I can save him,, please let me save him." "There is no saving him, he is dying." "Please let me try please I can save him if you let me please." The phone goes quite, I am hoping that she is willing to let me at least try. Sam was the only person who treated me good like I belonged, he brought me back to life. He made me feel cared about when I felt nothing but pain. "I want to talk to Ivan first, I want to make sure he is alive and not being held captive." "Okay, I will go get him and call you back." I don''t say a word to Landon, I run out the door not wasting anytime. Needing to save Sam if at all possible. When I get to the cabin, I go to my room and my bed is empty. Ivan has left damn it, how could I have been so dumb? I scream out in frustration, knowing that I''m probably not going to be able to save Sam. I dropped to my knees then I feel a hand on my back, when I look up I''m relieved to see Ivan. chapter 37 chapter 37 I jump up and wrap my arms around him with tearsing out of my eyes, I know that he can tell something is wrong. "Ivan we need to go, something has happened I was wrong and Landon lied to me that your pack was attacked I''m so sorry." "Who answered when you called?" "A woman I think she was your mother she told me that Sam is dying. I can save him. But she wouldn''t tell me where she was, she wanted to talk to you first." As I watch tears fill his eyes, I feel so sorry for him he then says nothing. I know we have little time to come up with a n. I can see that he still is weak, and he might even be afraid. I hear Star Lilly he needs his mate to connect with him even if it''s a hug, hold on to him and only think about healing him. I don''t hesitate, I wrap my arms around him and hold on to him so tight like I''m never going to let him go. It feels amazing the feeling that he makes my body feel, but my mind is far away from what my body feels. I''m so confused but right now all I can think about is healing him. I go to look into his eyes and I can see the surprised look in his eyes. Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. "Lilly, your eyes are glowing, are you okay?" He looks at me and says. "Lilly, you ''re amazing." As he connects his lips to mine, the spark is insane. I can feel my body just feel relieved, so confused about this feeling, not really sure what it is. "Do you know where we need to go to find Sam, I need to save him before it''s toote." I say to him as we both pant, the ecstasy is almost unbearable. I wait for him to respond, but instead he connects back to my lips and puts his hands on my waist. I want to push away, I want to say no, but I can''t. I want him so badly that my body explodes, I can''t help but to kiss him back. I know that this shouldn''t happen, but I can''t help it. As his hands travel up to my breast, and he grips them, I am so turned on by him I can''t resist. I try to snap out of it, but I can''t because he picks me up, I wrap my legs around his hips. He then gently ces me on the bed as he starts kissing down my body. It''s like he''s savoring every kiss, wanting to taste every part of me. I am so confused, knowing that this isn''t the time for this, but not wanting him to stop at the same time, knowing I would be full of disappointment if it ended. As he starts to kiss my pussy, it begins to gosh. I try to stop him, but my body won''t allow me to. As I feel his tongue y with my clitoris. I put a pillow over my face to control myself, not being able to not scream. I then fill him, arch my hips up. As he inserts his cock inside me, I can feel my juices just surround his throbbing cock, the wetness that he is causing me is mind blowing. How can he make me feel this way after all that has happened, my body still wants every part of him, god? As he is fucking me, sweat is pouring off our body''s. My body is moving in sync with his, it''s like we have known each our entire lives and our greatest desires on how to please one another. I wanted to get close to him to help him heal, so we could find Sam, so I could save him. I feel so dirty knowing that Sam needs me, but I can''t resist. I don''t regret what is happening but all I can think about is the pleasure I am getting. Not wanting it ever to end. As I can tell that his body was getting ready to explode, my body clinchs together, I then grab a hold of his arms as his hands are cresting my breast. I squeeze onto him as I cum I then feel his cum fill pussy. Not really sure why, but I feel aplished like I did what I was supposed to do. As we are both trying to catch our breath. I scramble around trying to find my clothes piece by piece as I watch a smile develop on his face, hating that he has to be so handsome it fucking irritates me knowing that he''s getting amusement from me. I know that he can see how awkward I feel. I am trying to hide it, but it''s so hard to do. As heys naked on the bed and just stares at me, I want to punch him in the face. There are so many things happening that''s out of my control and I need his help to find Sam. As he is not moving fast enough, I get frustrated, and I yell "get the fuck up and dressed we need to go help Sam, if he is in fact, dying you need to let me help to try to save him." "Sam is fine, we have different codes for different areas where my family will escape too. When there is an attack we use codes to let each other know where we are, just in case we get separated." "Are you serious, so what we just did was unnecessary, I only connected with you to help you heal, so you would be stronger, so we would be able to save Sam." He looks at me with disappointment. I know what I said was sort of cruel, but I don''t want him. I was only trying to save Sam if it wasn''t for that I would have never touched him. I don''t want his hands to touch me, I don''t want you for my mate. I Know how good he makes my body feel, I don''t care I don''t need him I tell myself but then I wonder am I going to be able to resist him for long. "If you hate me so much why did you allow me to survive, Lilly why not just let me fucking die." I then think to myself, does he not recall what i told him? Now I''m not sure if I want him to know I could still be free. Would it be all right to keep him away from his child? He isn''t all bad there is also good in him too, I don''t know what to do I freeze. chapter 38 chapter 38 I am so frustrated with Ivan right now. I just want to smack him. He made me believe that Sam was in real danger. He could have told me that Sam was fine. I was so worried. That he was dying when in reality he is just fine damn it Ivan. ¡°Why wouldn''t you tell me that it was a code that Sam was okay Ivan, damn it I was terrified.¡± ¡°Lilly, if I had told you, then you wouldn''t have wanted to be with me. I needed to fully heal, and I knew that if I had told you the truth, that you wouldn''t have let me fuck you.¡± Hating him but listening to him talking about us fucking has my pussy getting wet for him again. God, I hate this fucking mate bond. It is too much to handle. God, I could take him again right here, right now, fuck. I focus on my anger instead of trying to control myself. ¡°Damn Ivan you can''t just let me chose to be with you, instead you have to trick me to be,¡± ¡°Lilly, really, you wouldn''t have touched me if you knew that Sam was fine, you would have let me suffer. I wanted my strength. I need to be able to protect myself. Just in case someone tries to attack me again. I need to be as strong as I possibly can be. ¡° ¡°Ivan, maybe if you would have just told me the truth it''s possible just maybe I would have helped you, but now we will just never know.¡± ¡°Lilly, you can say what you want. I know that you wouldn''t help me. You should be happy Sam is fine, I need to call my mother, take me to a phone.¡± T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. As tears began to feel in my eyes, I am full of emotion. I hate how he makes me feel and there''s nothing that I can do. Maybe he''s right. If I knew the truth, I wouldn''t have helped him, letting him suffer would have been better. Sometimes I just want someone else to feel my pain. I try so hard to put on a smile and go about like everything is fine. The truth is I am screaming inside. I don''t let my tears fall. ¡°Get dressed Ivan, I will take you to Landon''s to use his phone, the sooner you can leave the better.¡± I try not to show any emotion, but I''m finding it harder. This life is hard to live. Knowing that there''s no way of ending it. I turned away from him, not wanting to see him as he''s getting dressed. He goes to touch my shoulder, but I shrug him off, not wanting him to touch me. I''m so tired I''m all his tricks. I''m sick of it. ¡°Follow me, I will take you to Landon''s, so you can use the phone.¡± ¡°Lilly, thank you for saving me.¡± I pretend not to hear what he has said as I turn to the door to leave my cabin. As we began walking, I didn''t know what to say. I''m just over everything. Wondering what is going to happen to Jenny. She is a good person, she just did a terrible thing. I want to ask him to show her mercy, but I don''t know if he will. Especially because she did not show him any type of mercy and torture the hell out of him. As we almost approach Landon''s house before we begin walking up the steps to his house, we hear a scream. Ivan goes and puts me behind him, as he is acting like I need his protection. I try to push him away, but he doesn''t budge, I notice he got his strength back. I''m not sure what is going on. Then I see Landon as he opens the door andes to see what is going on when He shifts and takes off. I then shift as well and run next to him. Then I realized my loyalty is to him and I wondered where the hell is Jayden. I mind link Landon, ¡°where is Jayden?¡± ¡°He is at the house, I asked him to stay put until I return.¡± Relief ovees me, thanking God that Jayden is safe as we are running toward the screams I be terrified. As I see pack membersying on the ground barely alive. I want to help, but I wait to hear what Landon''smand is going to be. Landon then lets out a fearful growl. As the wolf''s then stop attacking the pack members, and they turn to look at Landon with a smirk, like they''re excited about the challenge that ising towards them. As I get closer, I then realize it is one of thedies that I was to help train. I try to find a pulse with my snout, I be so relieved once I feel her pulse I then begin to lick her wounds as I watch them close I move on to the next wolf. I continue this process until I have healed them. When I look over to Landon, I can tell that he is struggling. Ie to help but I, but Ivan jumps in front of me. I let out a warning growl for him to move as I looked into his eyes. I can see sadness from me wanting to protect Landon. As Ivan stands there and doesn''t move, I jump over him. As my jaws connect with one of the wolves that are attacking Landon. I fling him into a tree with so much force that it knocks him out. As I go for the other wolf, He takes off into the Woods, I want to chase him, but I need to make sure that Landon is OK. As I walk over to his wolf, I see his open wounds. I begin to lick his wounds, so he heals faster. Not caring that Ivan is watching me, he is not my Alpha. ¡°Fuck he can''t escape you will be in danger, no one can figure out what are.¡± Ivan walks over to him, ¡°what do you mean why would she be in danger.¡± Landon looks at him irritated as hell, says, "just help me find and kill him, so we can protect Lilly please.¡± ¡°Fine, I will help, but you will exinter.¡± chapter 39 chapter 39 LANDON''S POV As the Rouge takes off through the woods, I go after him trying to find which direction the rouge went in damn it I can''t allow him to escape. It terrifies me that he saw what Lilly is capable of. She doesn''t realize how much danger she just put herself in. I''m grateful that she helped,, but I''m worried now that she may be targeted. I have never ran so fast in such desperation in my life, the need to protect her is so strong she should have waited until there was no one that would be able to see what she was capable of. She doesn''t understand she needs to keep her ability to herself to keep herself out of danger. I knew this would happen. Damn it, what is going to happen if I can''t catch him. I don''t even know why they would have even targeted my pack, just because of the fact we keep to ourselves we don''t bother others. We don''t have enemies, they could easily wipe My pack out there''s few of us. It makes no sense that Ivan''s pack was just targeted and now mine. I worry about Ivan finding out what she is just because the more that he knows the more danger she will be in. I want to protect her at all cost But I''m not sure if I am capable of it. Maybe she would be better off with him, Even though I hate the thought of someone else touching her. I noticed how she didn''t think twice to help me to protect the people in my pack. It proves to me that she is loyal to my pack, but how can I expect her to stay if I''m unable to protect her from so much danger? She will always be targeted because of her ability. As a familiar smelles to my nostrils, I stop dead in my tracks. It''s my father, what is he doing? I wonder what the hell did he have a part in all of this. I know I have to stop Ivan, so we are not seen, so I then mind link Ivan ¡°stop there is something going on that is bigger I am picking up my father''s scent.¡± Ivanes up to me, we stop, he then looks at me ¡°why would your father be out here?¡± ¡°I don''t know, I can''t go any further. He will pick up my scent. Do you think you would be able to sneak up to him and try to figure out what the hell is happening?¡± He looks at me hesitantly with all that has just happened to him, I wonder if he is scared. Knowing being an Alpha we don''t scare easily but him being so close to death it might have taken something away from him. ¡°Do you think that your father had something to do with all of this?¡± I want to say that my father would never be capable of something so awful, but to be honest, I''m not even really sure who the hell he is anymore. He changed after my mother died, so much that I was d to leave and never look back. My father was so angry when he found out my mate was an omega, my father was embarrassed by it. That is why I left. He made me choose him or her and I chose my mate. He hasn''t talked to me since. Ivan looks at me, are you going to answer my question? I snapped out of my thoughts, ¡°I would like to say no but to be honest, I''m not so sure he has changed, and I haven''t spoken to him in 5 years.¡± ¡°Why would your father target all of us? It makes no sense his pack was losing its power, that''s why he wanted me to take over? He rearranged the marriage between Jenny and I. We were to be married in less than a week, well, until she tried to kill me in the woods, that is.¡± ¡°Wait, it was Jenny that tried to kill you. Are you sure you know that?¡± ¡°Because she made herself known like she wanted to be rewarded for what she has done.¡± ¡°But she left you tied to the tree still alive. There has to be a reason behind that if she wanted you dead, you would be dead, so she wanted you to be found and to be saved.¡± ¡°If that is true then why would she even attack me in the first ce, what the fuck is going on." ¡°She would have only attacked you if my father didn''t give her any other choice, that her other option was worse than her killing you.¡± ¡°She is your sister, you''re not going to want to believe there is evil in someone you love.¡± ¡°She isn''t evil she is good it is my father who is evil, please go and listen to what words are being exchanged something is going on, and we need to know what is happening especially if he is trying to wipe out both of our packs.¡± Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Fine, but if this is a trick, I promise I will make you pay in the worst kind of way.¡± As I watch him go ahead of me I''m nervous on what is about to happen, what the fuck is going on. I never thought my father would try to take packs out for no reason at all. We don''t target other packs unless there is no other choice. To target my pack we have done nothing to no one, we stay to ourselves. I then realized this was all a trick to get me away from my pack. I mind link like Ivan ¡°We need to get back to my territory, this was a trap to get me away from the pack for them to attack with no trouble.¡± I turn around and run as fast as I can, knowing my wolf is as nervous as I am. We need to get back to check on Jayden. Knowing that rouges show no mercy on anyone, they will kill whatever is in their presence. Fuck I''m such a fool, I was so worried about them finding out what Lilly is that I forgot to protect my pack. chapter 40 chapter 40 IVAN''S POV He wants me to go and listen to what his father is talking about, I feel that it is a trap. That he wants to get me killed, so he can have Lilly all to himself. I don''t me him, she is perfect, I would want to get rid of anypetition also. As I get closer to his father, I notice that the rouge we were chasing approaches him and bowls down to him. Anger begins to fill my body, knowing that he has something to do with all that has happened, but why. He looks at the rouge, ¡°did you aplish what needed to be done, did you kill that she wolf and her mate that betrayed me.¡± ¡°Of course there is no way of them surviving, but your son came after us and a she wolf I''m not sure her name they killed Tony. There was one other wolf that was there, I forget his name, but I know that he was supposed to be dead.¡± ¡°So did everything go as nned? Did Landon follow you out here, did you lead him away from his pack?¡± ¡°Of course I did, he was so blinded that he and that other wolf are still looking for me As we speak.¡± Then I hear Landon''s mind link ¡°It was all set they wanted to lead us away from the pack so they can finish them." I then realize that it was all a set-up. And Landon is just now figuring it out, I want to go back to check on Lilly, but I also want to know what the fuck is going on. I am stuck as my paws be heavy, wanting to stay to find out the reasoning behind the attacks. ¡°Where is my son now, he should have caught up to you by now?¡± ¡°I must have lost him and his friend, surprising, especially with them being Aphals you think they would be able to keep up.¡± ¡°The other wolf was an alpha?¡± ¡°I think, so his wolf was huge and all ck. I would say he was a little bigger than your son''s wolf.¡± ¡°Well it''s a good thing that his pack was left defenseless since I ordered all to be killed, there shouldn''t have been a problem for them.¡± What the fuck why he is trying to wipe out all the packs that surround him, he doesn''t have the power to do so. There has to be something more to do with all of this. Knowing that Lilly is still alive since our bond hasn''t been broken, thanking the heavens it is still in ce, I know that she is still alive. I want to gather more information about what is happening. ¡°The pack should bepletely wiped out once Lance and Melvin get back here to confirm, then we can move on to the next part of our n.¡± Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. I need to rush back to see what has happened. I am praying that Landon''s pack did not get wiped out. There are innocent women and children that are defenseless. He doesn''t have as many warriors like most packs have. Because of his pack being so small, I probably have as many warriors as he has pack members. I hate that Lilly''s loyalty is in him, but at least he has been better to her than I have been. I can tell that she likes him, which makes me furious. I could allow his pack to be wiped out. Then I could have Lilly all to myself without anypetition. Knowing that there are innocence, I can''t just not help. That would make me a monster to just let all of them to die when they did nothing wrong. As I''m approaching Landon''s territory, the smell of blood is overwhelming. I then hear Lilly as she mind links me: Ivan, please help Landon. I look over the pack, trying to find him. Once I see him, I rush over to him, I rip the throats out of the wolves that are attacking him. After helping Landon, I run over to Lilly, as I see her wounds I be scared. She then grabs my hand to reassure me and says, "Ivan I''m okay, but I need you to do me a favor and finish these mothers fuckers.¡± I''m amazed she is not showing that she is in any kind of pain. I''m shocked by my mate and then realize how much I misjudged my mate. We then helped each other wipe out the rest of the intruders that attacked his pack. Shocked that Landon''s dad could be so cold to kill the innocent. I know that our packs need toe together as one. And just figure out the Alpha stuffter, knowing right now we need each other more than anything. chapter 41 chapter 41 LILLY''S POV As I watch Landon and Ivan take off, I''m worried. Are they going to let their ego get in the way of what needs to be done? I''m ttered that Landon wants to protect me at all cost. But there was no way that they saw me. I was discreet about it, I tried to be, anyway. I tried to make it look like I was just a concerned pack member checking on them. I help Jasmine to her feet, knowing that she is confused to how she is still alive. I can see fear in her eyes. Then all of sudden I hear a whistle confused and I say out aloud ¡°what is that noise?¡± She looks at me as tears fill her eyes, she says with a shaky voice, ¡°We are getting ready to be attacked.¡± ¡°Fuck ok, I need to get you to safety.¡± A strength ovees me that I never knew I had, I pick up Jasmine and take her to Landon''s house. As little Jaydenes running over as we get into the door. ¡°Lilly, what is going on the whistle went off where is my daddy.¡± ¡°Your daddy will be fine. I need the two of you to hide and don''te out until I tell you to do note out for anyone else. Do you understand me?¡± ¡°Say you understand me.¡± ¡°Yes, we understand.¡± ¡°Good, now go hide.¡± As I turned around to go walk out the door, I''m scared of what I am about to see. I have never seen an actual attack. I think that''s why my father always made sure we had training just in case it would ever happen. I''m petrified that I''m not going to be able to save everybody. I don''t want to be the person that chooses who lives and who dies. As the door opens, I see those fighting for their lives. Not really sure where to even start. As I assist in helping other wolves by attacking the person that is attacking them. They are wounded, but they will survive until I can help them. I am trying to help as many as I can, but I can''t reach them all. I especially try to help those that are more defenseless that have no idea how to protect them or their children. The other wolves begin to catch on as they see me saving those that are defenseless, I can tell that it angers them. Because now they are alling after me at once. My father always told me that the most important rule was to never let anybody corner you. I am trying to figure a way out of being cornered, but there''s so many. I be nervous, I wonder what my father would do in this situation. He would fight like hell in a circle, not in a corner. As I step forward the first one lunges at me as I kick him in the face, and he drops to the ground. Another gets me from behind and puts his arm around my neck. I kick him in the groin as hard as I can, and he falls to the ground and releases my neck. What happens next I don''t have any control over there is nothing I am able to do as they all charge me at once? I be nervous, knowing I can''t take all of them at once and win. As theye towards me, all five of them lunge at me to attack me, as I fall to the ground. As I can feel their teeth breaking my skin, I try not to even let a whimper out to show that I am in any kind of pain. T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. As I start to be faint, that''s when I see Landone out of nowhere. As Iy on the ground, I can''t do anything but watch. As I shift back to my human, too weak to stay shifted. I then put my hands around my throat, trying to keep the blood from leaving my body, needing to heal faster, so I can help Landon. A smell ovees my nostrils and I know that Ivan is close, I don''t want to ask for his help, but I need it. So, I mind link him ¡°Help Landon please.¡± I don''t see him, but I know he is close, his sweet smell is making me crazy. I just hope that he isn''t too late. I did everything I possibly could do to help the people that needed it. Knowing that some pack members were already gone before I could help them. But I helped all those that I possibly could until they came for me. I am so d that Landon showed up when he did. I then see Ivan jumping from the woods. As he rips the throats out of the wolf''s that are attacking Landon, I sigh in relief. I''m happy that he made it just in time. I can see that he is concerned about me as he approaches me, I look at him and smile ¡°I am okay, but give these monsters what they fucking deserve.¡± I can''t help but to be filled with so much rage these people had no threat to nobody so why were they attacked. A lot of the Warriors sacrificed themselves trying to keep the pack safe, most of them losing their lives before I could do anything to save them. This pack was mostly filled with innocence, so why would anybody target them. Right before they go to kill thest rouge, I stopped them. As I struggle to stand, I get to my feet. ¡°Wait, don''t kill him, we need to know the reasoning behind this attack.¡± Landon looks at me furiously as he rips the throat out of him. ¡°They all deserve to be dead,, and I already know who the fuck is behind this.¡± I look at him with a worry in my eyes. ¡°Landon, are you okay?¡± ¡°No, I''m not, my pack was attacked, there are pack members that are dead. Oh my god, Jayden.¡± ¡°I asked Jayden to hide and not toe out until I came back for him.¡± As I watch Landon run to his house, I follow behind, not being able to move as fast as I would like to. Then Ivanes over, and he picks me and carries me bridal style. I smile at him, He then looks at me and says, ¡°would you like a lift."? I smile, ¡°I would get there faster thank you.¡± As we get into Landon''s house, he then slowly puts me to my feet. ¡°Thank you for the lift.¡± ¡°Anytime,¡± ¡°I then yell out, Jayden, it''s Lilly you cane out now, it''s safe. Your daddy is here, and he wants to see you.¡± Relief ovees my body when I see Landon and Jayden walking down the hall. I''m so grateful that at least we are ok. Hoping that we can figure all this out together. chapter 42 chapter 42 It has been a couple of days since the attack. Ivan has left, and Landon hasn''t spoken to anyone since the memorial services of all those that we lost. I''ve been trying to give Landon time. I''m wondering if he mes me for the lives that I couldn''t save. I want to talk to him, but I don''t know how. He is so full of anger that I don''t want him to take it out on me. I''ve been assisting all the wolves that have lost their loved ones. Doing little chores here and there. Helping the mothers take care of their children, trying to exin to them what has happened. Many wolves lost their mates. There is so much heartbreak that I don''t know how to cure it all. The pack has lost the light. Now we are all just full of darkness. They need their leader toe forward and guide them. But he won''t even leave his house. I know that he mes himself for all of this. Or maybe he mes me because he left his pack to protect me. Ivan said that he would be back, but he didn''t say when. Sometimes I feel like I miss him even though I hate him too. Star has been so quiet and almost feels like she has disappeared, too. I think she is mad at me for trying to save others. When I should have taken care of myself and my baby. T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. As I rub my belly and feel her kicks, I''m grateful that she is OK. Even though I''m terrified of the world that she ising into. I don''t want it to be where she is going to be in danger all the time. I want to get to the bottom of all of this. I just don''t know how. I don''t want to bring it up, but I don''t know what else I am supposed to do. As I''mying in bed and my thoughts are everywhere. I hear a knock at the door, I don''t want to answer it, I don''t want to move. I want toy in my sadness and just forget all that has happened. But I pushed myself up out of my bed. As I pull my covers off my body, I get a chill from the cold air. Then I notice that the knock bes frantic, and then I am nervous to answer. As I opened the door, I saw Landon. I can tell that he has been crying, as his eyes are puffy and red. I want tofort him, but I don''t know how. As I look into his eyes, ¡°Landon, is everything okay.¡± I say in a shaky voice. He pushes himself through the doorway and connects to my lips. I kiss him back, enjoying me being close to him. As his arms wrap-around my body, he begins to sob. His head sinks into my neck as I wrap my arms around him. I say nothing, I just let him get it all out, hoping it will help him. I feel so bad for all that has happened. I wish I could take away all of this pain. As he pulls his head back, he looks into my eyes. I see all of him, the pain that he is feeling and the love that he has inside him. I know that he feels like a failure, but it is not his fault. I take my finger and brush it through his beautiful Brown hair As I whisper to him, Landon, ¡°none of this was your fault.¡± He then connects to my lips again as he puts his hands underneath my shirt to remove it. I put my arms up to help him. Once my shirt is off, he begins to kiss my neck, I let out soft moans. As his kisses make me want all of him. I then put my hands at the bottom of his shirt, I go to lift his shirt as he puts his hands up, so I can remove it. I kiss his chest as I feel his hard, rock stomach. As he gently picks me up, I wrap my legs around his waist as he then carries me to the bed andys me down so gently. Without taking his lips off mine. I have never wanted anybody more than what I want him right now. The side of him is the side I''ve never seen. As he leaves my lips and travels down my chest, kissing my breast and licking my nipples, making them hard. He then takes his fingertips and gently ys with my nipples. I let out a soft moan of pleasure that he is given just by his gentle touch. As his kisses travel further down my body, the pleasure is bing unbearable As my pussy is getting wet, ready for his throbbing cock. He then pulls my pants off of my body, I watch as he smiles when he realizes I''m not wearing panties. He then begins to kiss my pussy. I arch my back as he holds me down he then inserts his finger inside me, I can''t help but to scream as it feels so good. As he is sucking on my clit and inserting his finger, I almost get ready to cum, but then he stops. I watch as he begins to unbuckle his pants when he pulls them down I look at his cock, excited that he''s getting ready to make love to me. He then crawls on top of me, I''m shocked as he kisses my lips and my neck. I have never had sex so gently. As he inserts his throbbing cock inside me ecstasy travels through my entire body. The pleasure is so overwhelming. I never knew that sex could feel this way. I then begin to wonder if I am in love with him. Is that why it feels the way it does? As our bodies connect to each other, and we let out soft moans of pleasure. I then hear Star begin to howl, surprised that she is enjoying it as much as I am. It feels that our bodies are in sync with one another as we both orgasm together. He then kisses my lips and lies beside me and pulls me into his arms. He then turns over and looks at me, I can see the emotion in his face. ¡°Lilly, I was scared that something happen to you. I never ran so fast in my life. I think I might be in love with you. I know you are mated to Ivan and having his child, but I don''t want to lose you.¡± I smile and snuggle into his chest. ¡°Landon, I think I''m in love with you too. I don''t feel for Ivan the way I feel for you. Yes, he is my mate, but I don''t love him. I''m having his child, but it doesn''t mean I have to be with him.¡± I can feel his body losing up as he sighs in relief at my words. I snuggle tighter into his chest, rxing with him. Forgetting all that has happened just for a moment to enjoy this moment of pure happiness. A feeling that I almost forgot how it felt. chapter 43 chapter 43 As the sun is beaming in my eyes, I have no way of escaping it. Ie to the exception that it is just time to wake up. As I sit up in bed and I reached my arms out to stretch. I then notice Landon is still sleeping. I''m surprised that he stayed over. I can''t help but stare at him, he is so handsome. I want to just snuggle into his smoking hot body, but I decide to get a shower instead. I Want to look my best when he wakes up. I try to get out of bed as discreetly as possible, so I do not wake him. I tiptoe to the bathroom, trying not to make a lot of noise. I then shut the bathroom door, letting out a breath, knowing I can breathe now. Landon has been so stressed out with all that has been happening, allowing him to rest awhile longer won''t hurt anything. I then walk over to the shower and turn the water on until I get it to the perfect temperature. I then begin to undress as I look in the mirror. I see my growing stomach realizing I''m going to be a mother soon. I am terrified that I''m going to be a terrible mother. I even forget I''m pregnant sometimes, how am I going to be able to take care of a baby. I''m not sure how everything is going to even work out. I never wanted to be a mother this young, but sometimes you''re not given the option of what you want. I just hope that I don''t suck at it. I am scared that I won''t be as great as my mother was. She was so amazing and always knew what to do, what to say. As steam begins to cover the mirror, I then remember I came in here to shower. I got lost in my thoughts, worrying, will I be good enough? I know that there are going to be challenges, hoping I will be able to conquer them alone? Will I be able to put my child first no matter the cost? As I go to turn around, I jump as I see Landon standing in the doorway. ¡°You are so beautiful, Lilly, I wish you could see what I see when I look at you.¡± As I''m standing there naked, I can''t help but feel a little insecure. Landon''s body is like a brick of muscle, he is so sexy, way better looking than me. I smiled at him, ¡°you scared me, would you like to join me for a shower." ¡°There''s nothing more that I would want to do, but I have to go check on Jayden. I left him with my housekeeper, she said she''d watch him for the night, but I think it''s time for me to go,, will youe overter.¡±? ¡°Of course I will get a shower and I wille over, maybe you can make me some breakfast.¡± Original content from N?velDrama.Org. ¡°I would love to make you breakfast, what would you like?" ¡°I don''t care what you make, but I would love some bacon, anything with bacon sounds awesome.¡± ¡°Alright, that sounds great, let''s say I will see you in an hour.¡± ¡°Perfect, that gives me plenty of time to get a shower and to get ready. I will see you soon.¡± As he walks over to me, I be nervous being all naked in front of him. He then puts his lips gently against mine as he kisses me. I then feel his hand travel down my body as he grips on to my ass. My body begins to go crazy for him. As I watch him walk out the door, I want to stop him. So, I can have him fuck me hard. Give me exactly what he has made me crave. As I watch him shut the door I''m disappointed, but wanting to be satisfied I begin to think of him as my hands travel over my body. I grab my breast with one hand as I begin touching my pussy with the other. I begin letting soft moans out, not being able to stop myself from wanting the pleasure I desire. As I imagine all the things that I desire Landon to do to me as I''m getting ready to cum I scream out ¡°Yes Ivan yes, please don''t stop.¡± I instantly stop and don''t even get my release what the fuck I said, Ivan no. I don''t love him, I don''t want to be with him. Why would I scream out his name, fuck? I be frustrated and I finish washing myself. As I finish up, I rinse off and then shut the water off. I step out, grab my towel to dry myself, I be angry at myself. Why must Ivane into my head, damn it? I hear a voice and realize it''s star. ¡°Lilly, he is our mate, you can''t help the feeling that you feel for him, it justes natural.¡± ¡°Star, I don''t love him like I love Landon. I don''t want to be with Ivan, I want to be with Landon.¡± ¡°That maybe so, but you have a child with Ivan, and he is your mate. So, Ivan will always be there.¡± Damn it, I know that Star is right, but I don''t know what to do. I will settle this another time right now. I need to get dressed, and before I''mte for breakfast with Landon and Jayden. ¡°Lilly, I know that you don''t want to think about it, but you''re going to have to. In the next 2 months, you be a mother. For some reason, we are connected to both Ivan and Landon. I am connected to their wolf, and you are connected to their human. No matter our decision, we''re going to be hurt.¡± I want to ignore Star, but I know she''s right. I don''t respond to her, I just don''t want to think about it. I go into my closet and I pick out clothes to wear. A pick out a pair of blue jeans and a purple T-shirt. When I go to put the jeans on, I realize that they are too small. As I look through the closet to find something, all I can find is a pair of leggings. They are tight, but they will do it for now. As I look into the mirror and I see my belly hanging over my pants, I hate it. There is no hiding this pregnancy any longer. I sigh in irritation now, just feeling h and not looking forward to breakfast. I hurry and put my shoes on and rush out the door. Finding it odd that there are no pack members out and about. Shocked how things have changed so much since the attack. Wondering how long will it take for things to get back to normal? Hoping someday there will be joy once again. As I get to Landon''s house I knock and Jaydenes running up to me as he puts his little arms around me, ¡°I missed you so much Lilly, I was so excited when daddy said you wereing over for breakfast.¡± ¡°I missed you too, Jayden.¡± ''Lilly, I hope your hungry daddy has been cooking all morning.¡± ¡°Well, it smells delicious in here. Why don''t we go and see if your daddy needs any help.¡± Jaydenes over and grabs my hand, and we walk to the kitchen together. I can''t believe all the trouble that Landon has gone through making us breakfast. As we approach the kitchen and I see Landon, he seems to be different, he actually looks happy. ¡°Hey you everything smells delicious. You really have been busy, would you like some help." ¡°Hey wow you''re a little early no you don''t need to help, why don''t you and Jayden go hang out for a little and I will yell when it''s done.¡± ¡°Ok, well, if you need anything, just let me know.¡± I then look at Jayden and ask him, ¡°what would you like to do until breakfast is done.¡±? Before Jayden can even respond to our surprise, Landones out, ¡°alright breakfast is ready you guys can get seated.¡± As we both walk in the dining room to find our seats. I watch as Landon is serving breakfast. As he serves us the food, it looks so delicious as I took my first bite I''m surprised wow it''s incredible. As we all began to eat. He then pauses and looks up at me. I can see the concern on his face, knowing whatever he is about to say is not going to be good. Then the words that I dreade out of his mouth, ¡°Lilly, we need to talk.¡± chapter 44 chapter 44 I''m not sure what he is about to tell me, I''m hoping that it is good and not bad. I really just wanted to enjoy my breakfast, but I have a feeling that he is about to ruin it. Just by looking at his face, I know that whatever he is about to say, it is not going to be good. He then starts to talk as he is nervous. ¡°You know how my pack is broken, and I would do anything to protect them.¡± ¡°Landon I know how important your pack is, we will figure something out together, I promise.¡± ¡°The thing is, Lilly , I already figured it out with Ivan, but there were terms that had to be followed.¡± ¡°Landon, what did you do?¡± ¡°I promised him you.¡± ¡°What you promised him me, I''m not an object you can just give to someone.¡± ¡°I''m sorry Lilly, I had no other choice. We need toe together as a pack. He made his terms very clear to me. I can''t have any involvement with you from here on out.¡± ¡°No What about Jayden, I love you.¡± ¡°Lilly there are more things at stake here than my happiness, I had to give him what he wanted.¡± ¡°You said that you loved me, but you were so easy to give me away. I don''t want a life with Ivan. I''m not going back, I''m sorry.¡± ¡°I''m sorry Lilly Ivan is here to take you back with us, he came and brought others just in case you would try to run.¡± My eyes began to fill up with tears, wondering how I could have been so stupid to think I belonged with Landon and his pack. I should have known that Ivan wouldn''t have let me go. I look at Landon with disappointment and tear filled eyes. ¡°Sost night was all a lie.¡± ¡°Lilly I''m sorry, please, you must understand this is the only way he is your mate, you belong to him.¡± ¡°I belong to no one, I should be able to choose what I want, it shouldn''t be chosen for me.¡± I can''t hold my tears any longer, as they fall I feel a little hand begin to rub my back. ¡°Lilly don''t cry, please don''t be sad, daddy why you make Lilly cry?¡± As I hear the door open and footstepse close, I look up and see Ivan. All I feel is hatred At this moment. Why did he have to ruin my life not once, but twice. ¡°Lilly it is nice to see you again, it''s time to go.¡± ¡°Ivan, I''m not going with you.¡± ¡°Lilly you don''t have a choice, I have you, or I don''t protect them or his pack don''t irritate me just follow my orders.¡± Original content from N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Ivan, please don''t do this, you said you would let me be free.¡± As he stalks over me and roughly grabs my hand and pulls me up to my feet to go with him, ¡°No Ivan let me go please Ivan.¡± He doesn''t listen, as I can feel his grasp tighten around my wrist. I can''t get out of his grip, wishing I could overpower him. Knowing the only way I escaped himst time was him thinking I was dead. I watch as Jayden goes to get up from his seat and tries to run over to me, but Landon stops him, it''s ¡°ok buddy you will see her soon.¡± I quit struggling and trying to resist hoping that he will allow me to talk with Jayden,¡±Ivan let me talk to Jayden, and I''ll go with you please." ¡°You can talk to him when we get back to the pack, I''m not wasting any more time.¡± ¡°Ivan, please stop, please.¡± He ignores my pleas and forces me to go with him. I''m so full of rage that my chest burns. As we are walking, I see that we are ready to get into a vehicle. As he pushes me in I then scout over to the other door as I open the door I jump out and shift and take off through the woods. I hear his furious howl as I am running with everything in me trying to escape him, knowing I''m not fast enough to out run him, just trying to find somewhere to hide. I hear Star ¡°Lilly look for water, it will hide our scent.¡± As I''m searching for water, I cannot find it and I can tell that he is getting closer and closer to me the next thing I know I am tumbled, and I am rolling he angrily tells me to shift back to my human form as I shift I hear star say ¡°Lilly don''t let him mark you if he marks you, we will lose our pup.¡± I can see the red in his eyes how angry he is. It was likest time when he raped me. I know that this is not going to be good as he shows his canines I try to stop him ¡°Ivan, please stop I am pregnant you will hurt our child.¡± He smirks andughs at me, ¡°our child it''s not our child you''ve been fucking Sam and plus Landon you''re pregnant to somebody else and I will not bring my mate back that is pregnant to another wolf.¡± ¡°Ivan I swear if it''s yours, please don''t do this I will never forgive you, I will hate you forever.¡± As I am trying to fight him off, but there''s no use, his strength is overpowering me and his anger is more furious than any anger I have ever seen. That''s when I feel him smelling my shoulder to find where he wants his mark to be, he then does the unthinkable and digs his canines into my shoulder I scream out as my body begins to burn. I can hear star whimper, ¡°no Lilly this can not be happening, he just took everything away from us once again.¡± As I am so overwhelmed by everything that has just happened, I want to just give up and die. Knowing that I will survive because I can''t die,, but it feels like my heart was just ripped out of my chest. Ivan has taken everything that was ever important to me away, how could I ever love someone like him? chapter 45 chapter 45 IVANS POV I must leave toe back to my pack. But I will find a way of making Lilly be mine and only mine. It will be as simple as bringing Landon''s pack andbining it with my pack and using Lilly as a condition. Knowing that Landon will do anything to protect his pack. So, it will be easy to make him forget all about Lilly. I don''t mindpetition, but I shouldn''t have to fight for my own mate. I met with him today and I''m not looking forward for 2 alpha''s running this pack. Knowing if I want to get what I truly desire, that this is the only way. I need Lilly to be mine, and only mine. All those that she cares about will be the only way I will really be able to punish her. I don''t want her to have rtions with anybody else but me. It might seem selfish of me. But I do not care, she will only belong to me. I know at first it will be hard for her to adjust, but eventually, she will. I will make sure that she will never have the chance of ever escaping me ever again. If she wants any kind of freedom, she will follow the rules, or she will be locked up. I will not allow her to do anything or see anybody if she doesn''t obey me. I know it might seem cold, But I don''t care. I will do whatever it takes for her to only be mine. I hear a knock on my office door. It is time to get all this over with and im what rightfully is mine. ¡°Come in.¡± ¡°I have a proposition for you, and it will only cost you what is already rightfully mine.¡± ¡°Ivan, just get to the point why did you call me here.¡± "We are strong Alphas, both of our packs were attacked, and we lost valuable pack members. I''m proposing that wee together as one so this way if one of us is gone the other will be here to protect the pack, so this way our pack will never be without an Alpha.¡± ¡°What are your terms?¡± ¡°I want Lilly she is my mate, she is rightfully mine.¡± ¡°I''m unable to make Lilly''s decisions for her, she is her own person, I can''t force her to be with you.¡± ¡°She follows you, she won''t have a choice but to follow you since she sees you as her Alpha.¡± ¡°I can''t make her choices for her, she will hate me.¡± ¡°So you are willing to risk the lives of your entire pack for one. She is my mate, we are meant to be together, she wille with me eventually in time.¡± ¡°I don''t want anyone else to get hurt. My pack and I will benefit very well from joining your pack. But why can''t you allow Lilly to choose for herself.¡± ¡°This is our best option, I will get transportation for your entire pack to be moved to wicked falls we have plenty of room and I will even give you tonight to say goodbye to Lilly to do whatever you please.¡± ¡°I will let Lilly alone, but you must let her and Jayden continue their rtionship as friends. Lastly, when ites to both of us being Alphas, our power is the same, we make choices together. ¡° ¡°Fine, agreed. Enjoy yourself tonight, since this will be yourst time that you ever spend it with my mate.¡± ¡°You know Lilly is going to hate the both of us for doing this.¡± ¡°She will get over it, I''ll see you tomorrow bright and early.¡± As I watch him get up and walk out of my office. I know that Lilly is going to be furious. But I believe in my heart that she will forgive me at some point in time. I know that at first I did not want her as my mate, but now I changed my mind and I need her in my life. I know that it might take a long time for Lilly to love me, but I am willing to wait as long as it takes. I am very determined to make her mine, and she will be. No matter the cost, I just hope that eventually she will love me. As I rearrange transportation for his pack, I know that Lilly is spending time with him while all this is going on. I want to break it up, but I resist since we came to an agreement. As his pack is cleared out, there''s nobody left but his housekeeper Jayden and Lilly. Since they will be picked up in the morning. I cannot sleep, I tossed, and I turned all night, it''s not long until it is time to finally leave to go get her. I know that she is going to be upset, and I feel bad, but this is what needs to be done, this is how things are supposed to be. I already lost the chance to be with her once, I will not lose a second chance. As I leave to go get Lily, I take a few Warriors with me just in case troublees around. I do not go anywhere without somebody now, so what happened to me will not happen ever again. I see how empty Landon''s territory is and almost make me feel sorry for him. He should be d he is now the alpha of an actual pack. As I begin to walk up the steps to his house, excitement runs through me. I can''t wait to see her. As the door opens, and I walk towards her, when I see her face, I know she is disappointed. I knew that she would not be happy, but I did not think she would look at me the way she is. As anger spreads through my body because of her disrespect, I want to punish her, but she is my mate. The tone that she uses and the reasoning of her not wanting to be with me. I forcefully made her leave, not giving her choice, this isn''t how I wanted to do it. But I need to show her who is boss, she needs to understand she has to follow orders. This rtionship that she has built with Landon''s son angers me, why must she care? She wants to talk to him, but Iugh at the fact that I do not give her the option to talk to him. As tears fill her eyes and fall from her beautiful face, I feel sorry. As the car pulled up, I then pushed her into the door. Not realizing that the other door was not locked as she storms out and takes off. Anger that I have never felt ovees me as I shift, and I take off after her, I know what I have to do. I know the only option is to mark her, so if she runs I can always find her no matter what. Then all wolves will see that she already belongs to somebody. And when they see my marking, they won''t dare mess with her. When she tells me that she is carrying my child, anger consumes me. I see as her tears fall from her face that she is begging me to stop, but I can''t as my caninese out there''s no other way but to mark her I know that the child she is carrying will die but if I don''t do this, it''s possible that I could lose her forever she can always have another baby if I don''t mark her, there is no way of tracking her if she runs it would be impossible I would never find her again. T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. As I expose her shoulder I allow my wolf to take over as he bites down and cuts through her skin and I taste her blood, it''s exhrating. As her cries are slowing because of her body being so overwhelmed. She loses consciousness as I see the bloode from in between her legs. I pick her and rush her back to the car as I take someone''s coat and wrap it around her, so her body isn''t exposed. I then see Landon running towards me. ¡°Ivan, what the fuck have you done.¡± ¡°I marked what was mine, she is not your concern so mind your business.¡± chapter 46 chapter 46 LILLY''S POV As I wake up, I look around, everything surrounding me is ck. I have no sense of life. I can hear the beeping that surrounds me and the people talking, but I feel it would be better not to be woken up. As I feel the life inside me gone, my heart aches more than it has ever. Original content from N?velDrama.Org. I never thought I would ever feel a worse pain than what I felt when I lost my family. Oh! was I wrong, this pain is so much worse it''s like someone has ripped my soul from my body and there''s no way for it to return. I hate how my life has been turned upside down. I don''t want to be a healer, I don''t want to be anything, I just want to be left alone to die. I begin to think that none of this would have happened if my family had been alive, it all could have been avoided. I be so angry with myself, ming the only people who have ever truly loved me. It is not their fault all that has happened. If they were still here, they would help me fight this life of misery and find a way out of it. Then I wonder why I am giving up. I need to fight, but how. God, falling in love what a fucking joke I should have known better. I feel like such a fool that I allowed myself to fall in love with someone who didn''t love me back. The first time I find any kind of normalcy, and it''s gone just like that and there is no chance of even trying to save it. I don''t know why I believed that Ivan would allow me to be free. I should have known better when he knew where I was, I should have run. But I trusted Landon would protect me, what a fool I am. Why would he protect he don''t even no me fuck why didn''t I run? I developed that crazy feeling of wanting to protect Jayden like I needed to, wondering if it''s because he also is a healer, but he did not need my protection. He only distracted me from reality. I should have never allowed myself to be so distracted by him. I knew what I had to do, which was to run, but I couldn''t leave him. I was an idiot thinking I could belong. I am so lost, I know that I will not be able To pretend that I am asleep forever. I''m going to have to face what everyone has done to me. The hurt that they have cost me and the betrayal that they bestowed onto me. I was not convinced that I could hate life any more than what I did, but it has proven wrong. I want to avoid being bothered, so I decide to just wait until all the noise clears. I do not want to talk to anyone, I make a promise to myself not to allow myself to love or care about anything ever again. I''m tired of feeling nothing but pain, it''s time to just simply feel nothing. I''m not sure If I can do it, but I''m sure as hell going to try. I wait until it is quiet. I truly do not want to be bothered or seen by anyone. I wish I could just pretend to sleep forever. As the room is finally quiet, I open my eyes to the sun shining through the window. I felt nothing as I put my hands on my belly, I know that she is gone. As my heart breaks and tears start to form, I shut them off not wanting to show any kind of emotion. I hate that he has taken everything from me twice, I hate him so much. Fuck I say to myself as a nurse walks in, and she sees my eyes are open ¡°. Oh my God, you''re awake, the Alpha is going to be so happy I will go get him right away.¡± As I watch her run out overjoyed, I do not care that I''m awake, I wish that I would have died. But I am cursed with not being able to die. They see it as a gift, but it is not. No one should have to be forced to live. I do not look at anybody who walks into the room as voices surround me, I am mute. I do not answer them because I don''t care to talk to them. They have taken everything from me and deserve nothing more from me. Not like I have anything else to give. As the nurse is asking me questions, I don''t answer, why should I. It''s not like I''m dying and if I was, I would not tell her. I feel pain all over my body which is almost like a relief to actually feel something. As I listen to them talk, I can hear Ivan, ¡°why is she not responding to anything we''re asking her.¡± ¡°My alpha, it''s probably because she does not want to respond. She isn''t incapable.¡± As I feel his hands on around my shoulders, and he shakes me, ¡°Lilly talk Fucking talk stop this baby shit.¡± I don''t even look at his face, I just look away as he grabs my face roughly to force me to look at him. My eyes are lifeless. I see nothing, just a shell of a man who is a monster. I watch as he gets frustrated and storms off, I''m so grateful that he is gone. I have lost allpassion, there is none left in me. As the nurse brings me a menu to choose what food I would like to eat, she ces it in front of me with a pencil. I show it no mind,, especially because I am not hungry. As I look at the pencil, all I think about is shoving it into my already broken heart. Wanting to just feel nothing. I hear the door open and footstepsing towards me, I don''t bother to move to see who it is. As they come around me, I notice it is Jayden. He crawls up beside me and sticks his head on my shoulder, ¡°Lilly, they want me to trick you into talking. I''m sorry they hurt you.¡± He kisses my forehead and puts his little head on my shoulder. I can''t help but to let tears fall as my heart still loves this little boy. I can not hate him or never want to speak to him. But for now, I softly ce my head on top of his and just stare out the window. Watching the birds, wishing that I could just fly away from here. chapter 47 chapter 47 As the days continue to pass by, I''m still lost in this world. I lie in this hospital bed, I don''t talk, I don''t move. I don''t want anything to do with anyone. As the doctor and nurses speak, I do not listen. I''m not interested in what they are saying. I do not care about my healing. I will heal repeatedly if I choose to or not. I heard one of them say that Ivan ising to take me back to his house. I''m scared I don''t want to stay with him. I cringe at the thought of staying with him. As I stare outside, wishing I could fly like the birds. I haven''t even really stood up from this bed. I hate that I feel so sorry for myself. I need to take control of my life. So, I decided since I am alone, I''m going to try to get up and take a shower. As I unplug the bed rm, so they cannot hear me stand up. I have no trouble as I make it to the bathroom. Surprised that my legs aren''t shaking, but strong. I shut the bathroom door and I lock it so no one cane in. I don''t want to be bothered, I just want to be alone. As I turn the water on, I watch as the steam fills around me. I take off my hospital gown and step into the hot water. I let it pour over my broken body that doesn''t even have a bruise. I hear a knock at the door, but I pay it no mind. I can hear them shouting my name, but the water feels too good. I just ignore them, not caring who it is. It''s been a little while since I''ve taken a shower. I don''t want it to end. As I hear the door open, I am surprised it took them this long to get the key. I know that it''s no one other than Ivan. He would never allow anyone else toe in knowing I was undressed. Original content from N?velDrama.Org. I get nervous as I hear the door then shut. As the shower curtain opens, I have no other choice but to face what ising. That''s when I see Sam. I am so excited to see him; I wrap my arms around him. Getting him all wet, but he doesn''t mind as he wraps his arms around me and hugs me back. He looks at me and says, ¡°Lilly, I can''t stay long, but I wanted to let you know I''m here. I will get you out of here, I promise you. I''m so sorry for what Ivan has done to you.¡± ¡°Sam, how am I ever going to survive all that he has done to me, it''s hard enough for me to even want to wake up.¡± ¡°Lilly, just please hang in there I will get you out of here just give me time, but I have to go, I''ll see you soon.¡± As I watch him walk out the door, I feel sad not being able to go with him now and escape. I get back to my shower as there is no shampoo or soap. Damn it, I can''t wash myself so instead. I just enjoy the water. I hear the door open again. Hoping it''s Sam, and he forgot something, but when the shower curtain swings open I see Ivan, I go to cover myself. ¡°No need to cover yourself. You have a beautiful body. Why don''t I join you.¡± As he starts to remove his clothes, I jump out, trying to get away from him. I go to run out of the bathroom, but he then grabs a hold of me. ¡°Where do you think you''re going, Lilly, the fun is just getting ready to start?¡± As I used to get pleasure from his touch, but now, it''s only fear. I shrug him off as I get out of his grip. I try once again to escape him and I go to step out of the shower as I try to leave the bathroom he then roughly grabs a hold of me before my hand even touches the door handle. He then forces me back into the shower with him. As my body begins to shake with fear, knowing what is about to take ce, and I''m not wanting any part in it. Ivan looks at me with evil eyes that frightened me. He puts my backup against the shower wall. ¡°Now, Lilly, tell me what you want me to do to you. If you do not answer me, I''ll make sure it is unpleasant for you.¡± I want to scream out now, but I don''t. I don''t want to give him the satisfaction of any control over me. As I try to push him off of me, he doesn''t budge. He continues to kiss my neck. I can feel his cock bing hard. I be scared, and then I do that unthinkable as I raised my knee and I knee him as hard as I can in the grin. As he falls to his knees, I take advantage of the opportunity and run out of the shower. As I go to shut the bathroom door, he catches it. His strength is too much, especially with me not taking care of myself I really don''t have any. ¡°You stupid fucking bitch. You are going to pay for that.¡± As he walks over to the door of my room, I see him lock it. There''s nowhere for me to go. I want to fight back. I will do what I have to for him to know I want nothing from him. As he''s walking towards me, I back up to where there is nowhere else to back up to. The wall is what stops me, and he is getting closer. As I turn I see the window, what time is better than right now to try to fly with the birds. I pick a chair up, and I turn, and I run towards the window as fast as I can. I can hear Ivan scream no, but I don''t care to listen to him. As I break through the window I can feel the ss slicing through my skin. The pain isn''t like normal, it feels amazing. As I''m falling I feel so free, almost invincible that nothing can hurt me. Excited about hitting the ground, knowing in a sense that I''m better off hoping it takes me a while to heal this time, so I have enough time to figure out what the hell I''m going to do. Right before I hit the ground, I shut my eyes. chapter 48 chapter 48 As I can open my eyes, I notice everything is white. I have never been so relieved to die. Now I can understand why Jayden wanted toe here to visit his mother. The feeling is amazing. As I look around, I really don''t see anybody, but all I feel is pure happiness. Wondering why I did not feel like this thest time I was here. As I begin to hear my name in a faint tone, I look in the distance, but don''t see anything. Then I hear it again ¡°Lilly oh Lilly, my sweet girl.¡± my eyes filled up with tears when I recognized the voice. I would know that voice from anywhere that''s when I began looking for my mother. Excitement runs through my entire body. I begin to shake for once, not in fear but because I''m so happy. As I see my mother, I run to her as fast as I can, excited to feel her touch. It has been so long that I have been able to see her and talk to her, smell her hair. I don''t waste any time once she bes close enough. I then gave her the biggest hug that I had ever given her. As she wraps her hands around me and returns the hug right back. ¡°Oh, Lilly my sweet girl, I am so sorry, honey, you have been through so much. In such a small period of time.¡± ¡°Mommy I have missed you so much, it has been so hard being alone not having anyone.¡± ¡°Ooh Lilly you were never alone, I never left you my sweet girl I live through you. I might not be there in person, but I''m with you at all times.¡± ¡°Mommy I''m afraid that I have finally lost myself. I don''t know how to be happy. I have done so many stupid things and letting people walk all over me.¡± ¡°I know that it looks impossible, but you will be ok, You''re going to live an amazing life Lilly, I promise you.¡± ¡°I''m a prisoner by my mate, he has taken everything from me and more I''m so stupid that I have allowed him too. But this time he took it too far and took the life that was growing inside me.¡± ¡°Lilly my love, you are a healer you are able to have a second chance mate, the only thing is that it has to be a wolf that has lost their mate.¡± ¡°I am confused, so Ivan isn''t my mate.¡± ¡°Yes, he is your true mate, but because you''re a healer, you are able to die and break that bond. Lilly, it''s your mark that matters. Once you mark someone, and then they mark you, that is when you bond with another isplete. Then that person can be your mate.¡± ¡°How would I find such a person, every person who I came across has betrayed me.¡±? ¡°There is one suitable candidate.¡± ¡°Mother Jayden is way too young for me.¡± Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. She begins tough, ¡°Lilly I''m not talking about Jayden, I''m talking about Sam.¡± ¡°Mother Sam hasn''t found his mate.¡± ¡°Lilly, he found his mate, and she was killed.¡± I then feel so sorry for Sam, wishing I would have known that he lost his mate. He has always been there for me. I Wished I would have been there for him, but I didn''t know. ¡°Mom, that means that I can be free and happy with Sam.¡± ¡°Yes, just know once you mark another you cannot take it back. But if you get marked, you know how to get rid of it, Lilly, you die.¡± ¡°Thank you mom, you have saved me once again, and I promise you this, I won''t let you down.¡± ¡°Lilly, you have never ever disappointed me. I''m so proud of you. I love you so much.¡± I then walk up to her and put my arms around her body and hug her. ¡°I love you mom, please tell dad and Landon I love them as well.¡± As I feel her body fading away, I don''t open my eyes to see that she is gone, just wanting a little more time just to be happy. I now know what I need to do to be free forever, and I can promise that nothing will stop me. chapter 49 chapter 49 I don''t waste time feeling sorry for myself any longer. I will allow no one to continue hurting me. I''m finished being this weak person who I created through all my grief. Falling for those that have hurt me, thinking I deserve all the misery because of what has happened to my family. I have found satisfaction in my own misery, but I need to stop punishing myself. All that has happened has made me seem weak. I am done with all those who have brought me pain. I will no longer allow myself to feel anything for them any longer. They are my enemy, not my friend. I will make them pay for all they have done to me. Realizing now that I''m going to always miss my family and wish they were here with me. But knowing no matter how hard I wish for them to be here. They are noting back, they are dead. They want me to excel in my life and be happy. Even though I find it impossible to be happy without them. I am going to have to find a way. As I am waking up, I know that my body is not fully healed yet because I can''t move. As I look around the room, I am surprised when I see Landon. Knowing that he is not supposed to be around me, he''s forbidden to visit me. I be angry as he looks at me, I stare at him, I ask him ¡°what the hell are you doing here Landon you shouldn''t be here.¡± ¡°Lilly I''m sorry for everything I was trying to just do what was right, I didn''t want to sacrifice you. I just wanted to protect my people.¡± Iugh at him, ¡°protecting your people, so you sacrifice one of them. I followed you, but you just disappointed me and handed me over to my worst fear. You know better than Ivan, you are the same. Get the fuck out of my room and do me a favor, don''t evere back to see me.¡± As he tries to talk, I stop him. ¡°I don''t want to talk to you, Landon, get out.¡± I can see the pain in his eyes as he''s walking away from me. He should endure pain. I wish he could feel the same pain that Ivan made me feel. As he ripped a part of me out of my body. They both deserve pain, and they will get the pain they truly deserve from me. I will not kill them, but I will make them pay for all they have done. As my body feels like it''s finally up to par, almost like the anger that Ished out on Landon helped me heal the rest of the way. I get up from the bed as I hear the bed rm go off, I take it and I rip it out the wall. As I walk over to my door, I lock it To make sure they can''t get in, I tear off the knob to make it impossible to open. I am curious where all this strength hase. Then I hear a familiar voice ¡°Lilly You had the strength all along. It was just us fighting for once and believing in yourself is how we brought it out.¡± ¡°Oh star, I''m so sorry that we have been through so much, I''m hoping that someday we can be happy.¡± ¡°I do too Lilly, I know we will be okay, it''s just figuring our ce in this world.¡± ¡°Our ce is not being controlled by these alphas, they have now lost what control they had over me, it is time that we show them who they truly are dealing with.¡± ¡°Lilly just don''t kill them, I don''t want to be a killer.¡± ¡°Who said anything about killing them, I know something better than death.¡± ¡°Lilly, just be careful we don''t want to get ourselves into trouble.¡± ¡°Star, we have suffered so much in the past couple of months. I''m not afraid of misery, I''m afraid of happiness.¡± I walk into the bathroom as I look into the mirror I see my emerald green eyes turn to golden. I feel so powerful, knowing now I''m the one they should fear. I walk into the shower as I take a peaceful shower with no Interruptions. I then walked to the door and forced it open . I walk out to the nurse''s station as everyone res at me, I smile. ¡°Oh my God, ma''am you need to go back to your room, you''re naked.¡± ¡°Yes I''m naked, I came to ask for some clothes please.¡± ¡°I will call Alpha and tell him that you would like some clothes, but please go into your room and wait.¡± As I made a scene, I giggled. People are so sensitive what is the big deal about walking the hall naked. I then get on to my bed and Iy and wait for Ivan toe. For once, I''m excited for Ivan toe because now he''s getting ready to pay for all that he has done. People like him think that they are so strong, and the truth is, they are weak among the strong. I am just going to make him think that I love him and then rip his fucking heart out I want to make him feel all the pain he made me feel. At least until Sam and I cane up with an escape from this pack and never look back. I''m hoping that Sam still wants to escape with me, he is the only person who cared when I had no one. Well, I guess I still have know one. But at least now I have an objective. As the door flies open and an angry Alphaes through the door, I smile in satisfaction that I pissed Ivan off. ¡°What the fuck Lilly walking the halls naked for all to see you.¡± ¡°Like it really matters Ivan, they all know I''m yours, all right. God, the entire pack knows that I''m you crazy mate, right.¡± ¡°Lilly, it does matter you need to fall in line or you''re going to have to be punished just like any other pack member would be punished for not following their Alpha.¡± T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. ¡°Punished really you think this isn''t punishment enough, Ivan, having to be your mate.¡± I then feel a sharp pain across my face as he ps me, I try not to React not wanting him to know that it hurts. I may heal,, but I still feel pain just like any other wolf. He then throws my clothes on to the bed, ¡°get dressed now you''reing with me.¡± chapter 50 chapter 50 As we head up to his house, it''s just like before. Nothing has changed. All the people gawking at me and whispering. What they all must think, but I don''t care. Thepassion that I''ve had most of my life is gone. I figure it''s better to feel nothing than to feel anything. In the distance I see a little boy running to me, as my eyes clear I see it''s Jayden. He has done nothing wrong, but I''m afraid to show weakness. Knowing Jayden is probably the biggest weakness I have even though everything that has happened is not his fault he is innocent, So why would I not acknowledge him? He is the little shine of light that is in my darkness. I squat down as he runs into my arms, I hug him as tight as I can and pick him up. ¡°Lilly, I have missed you so much, I''m so happy that you are okay.¡± Then the wordse out of my month without me realizing, ¡°Oh Jayden, I have missed you so much too.¡± As I''m gripping on to him tighter, I watch as a woman walks towards us. ¡°Now Jayden, you know that you can''t run off like that.¡± As she goes to take him out of my arms, ¡°what do you think you''re doing, get your fucking hands off of him.¡± ¡°Excuse me,¡± she says to me as she looks at Ivan with an irritated look. That I just want to smack off of her fucking face. I just pretend that she and Ivan aren''t there and give all my attention to Jayden. He then whispers in my ear, ¡°Lilly, she''s not very nice. She makes me do things that I don''t want to do, but daddy says I have to listen to her.¡± As anger ovees me, I then hear Jaydens sweet little voice which helps me to calm myself. ¡°Lilly, your eyes have changed color, they are so beautiful.¡± I feel so much power running through my veins, I do not know what to do with all of it. I try to calm myself as I look at Jayden. It helps me I can feel my body rx as I look at him. He smiles, ¡°Yes my eyes change color isn''t that cool.¡± He giggles at me as I begin to tickle his belly ¡°Lilly, stop please Lilly,¡± As I continue to tickle him. Ivan thenes towards us to try to tare us apart. I give him a threatening stare to warn him not to come any farther toward us. I watch as he backs away, surprised that he seemed frightened. Ivan then gives an irritated look and says, ¡°Lilly, it''s time to go.¡± I don''t want to put Jayden down. I have missed him so much. ¡°Jayden, I have to go for now, but we will get together and y very soon I promise.¡± He grabs and holds on to me tighter, ¡°Lilly, you promise you wille and y with me.¡± ¡°Yes Jayden, I promise cross my heart.¡± I then kiss his cheek and put him down. ¡°I love you, Lilly.¡± Tears fill my eyes. ¡°I love you too, Jayden.¡± When I walk away, I can see Ivan''s expression on his face. He is angry. Not understanding how he could be so angry with a child because of him loving me. Or maybe it''s actually me loving him that angers him the most. Jayden has touched me somewhere in my heart that I feel for him. I know that he will be my weakness, but I always want to protect him. I just hope when ites time to leave that I''m going to be able to leave him. As Ivan then grabs a hold of my arm and goes to shove me along, I take my arm out of his grip. ¡°I know how to walk. You don''t have to force Me Too! I am following you, aren''t I.¡± I can see his eyes sh of red, knowing what I said has upset him. I''m not sure what is going to happen or what he is going to make me do. I don''t want him to touch me and I don''t want to touch him. I don''t want to y these games, but I''m not sure if there is another way. I was all for hurting him, but now I''m not Sure if I have it in me. I''m not sure what is wrong with me, when I''m angry all I crave is revenge. But when I''m not, all I want is to help and make people feel better. Now it''s like I want to heal Ivan from all his pain that he has suffered. But what about the pain that he has made me suffer? I cringe, looking at him with any kind of emotion, so why do I suddenly want to help or make him feel any kind of love? As we were walking, I didn''t realize that Ivan was speaking to me. I was lost in my thoughts and I did not realize he was talking. I snap out of it once I feel another p across my face. I look at him with disappointment, not understanding why he thinks he needs to be so rough. ¡°Really Lilly, you are ignoring me. You are able to talk to that boy, but you will not speak a word to me, your mate.¡± I look at him with frustration ¡°what do you want me to say Ivan you have taken everything from me. What Could I possibly want to say to you.¡±? ¡°I was angry you were pregnant, you have been sleeping with other wolves and I needed to mark you, so they knew you belonged to me.¡± ¡°Ivan, what you did was evil, you''re a heartless bastard.¡± ¡°Well, maybe you shouldn''t of opened your legs to anybody that would fuck you, so who the hell knows who the father was.¡± I go to walk away from him, he then grabs a hold of my arm and pulls me roughly against his chest. ¡°Where do you think you''re going?¡± ¡°Anywhere that you are not, Ivan, I don''t want a mate that is going to try to control my every move.¡± ¡°Well, I''m sorry about your luck, you''re not going anywhere.¡± As he drags me along up the stairs to the house, my legs hitting the cement, I Yelp in pain. But it doesn''t stop him from dragging me along. As he then forces the door open as he throws my body through the doorway like I''m a rag doll. I hit the ground as my head hit against the wall. I began to feel dizzy. Content ? provided by N?velDrama.Org. ¡°What the fuck Ivan, you didn''t have to throw me inside the door.¡± ¡°Well, if I had a mate that was obedient, I wouldn''t have to be so rough.¡± ¡°Obedient, are you fucking kidding me, if I had a mate that wasn''t a monster, then maybe I would love him.¡± ¡°I don''t need your love, Lily, all I need is your body.¡± As he startsing towards me, I get up from the floor. Before I can go to run, he grabs me by my hair. He then swings me backward into his chest and puts his arms around me and holds on to me tight. I get angry As I mmed the back of my head against his face. I hear him scream out in pain as blood is running down his face,¡± you fucking bitch you''re going to pay for that Lilly." As I dart for the door to run out of this ce, all I can think about is Jayden and the promise I made to him. I don''t want to break it, but I can''t stay here. I pay for hesitating to run. As I feel his grip in my hair pulling me back once again. But this time it was only to throw me to the ground. As he starts kicking me, I can feel my bones breaking. The pain is radiating through my body with each kick I try not to show weakness, so I stay silent. I can tell that this angers him as his kicks be harder. I should feel defeated, but I don''t. I feel strong. Uncertain why I feel this way because eventually the pain takes over my body and I ck out. chapter 51 chapter 51 As I''m starting to wake up, I feel pain radiating all over my body. As I open my eyes, I am terrified of what is happening to me. I then realize that Ivan is fucking me from behind. I go and grab onto the sheets on the bed to pull myself up, trying to get away from him. When he realizes I''m awake, he takes his cock out of me and flips me over onto my back and gets on top of me. I start hitting his chest, screaming, ¡°get off of me, Ivan, stop this.¡± I feel a hard p across my face, ¡°I told you, Lilly, that you were going to pay for what you did.¡± ¡°No I don''t want this, please Ivan no.¡± I start to kick and punch him as hard as I can, trying to make him stop. When He finally lets go of me, I then make a run for the door, trying to escape him. I try to open the door, but it''s looked. I began to bang on the door screaming for help, but no onees. I then feel as Ivan pulls me back by my hair. He throws me on the bed, I go to get back up. But instead, he then punches me in the face. I fall back on the bed from the force of his punch. I hate feeling so helpless, knowing there is no fight left in me. I try toe too, but I be so dizzy I hate not being able to move. I then feel Ivan take a hold of my hand and pull up to the headboard, I try to fight back, but there is know fight left in me as my body is broken. I try to find enough strength to move, but then I be terrified when I realize I can''t. That''s when I notice that I''m tied to the headboard. I want to fight back, But he is too strong. I don''t know what has happened to him, but he is turning into more of a monster than I could ever imagine. He then begins biting all over my body as I scream out in pain begging him to stop, but he only bes rougher. I am uncertain of how much more I can take. Fuck why did I hesitate to run, I shouldn''t have hesitated? As I felt tears running down my cheeks, wishing that all of this would just be over. As he began squeezing my breast hard, more tears traveled from my eyes, then he squeezed on my nipples which made me Yelp and pain. Heughs at my cries. What happens next makes me wish I was dead. He gets on top of me, spreads my legs as far as he can as I try to force them shut. He gets so angry He then ps me in my inner thigh, God it hurts. I don''t stop trying to prevent him from raping me. I can tell that he is getting tired of me trying to refuse. I watch as he gets up from the bed he walks to his dresser. I see a belt in his hand as he walks closer to me, he then whips me with it in my stomach. He then takes his belt and loops it around my ankle and ties my legs down as He spreads my legs so far apart that it hurts. He then begins to fuck me hard, I scream just wanting him to stop, but he doesn''t listen, he just goes harder and harder. It feels like he''s going to break me. I don''t understand how a person who is supposed to love you can give you such pain. At this moment, all I really want is to die, I can''t handle the things that Ivan is doing to me. Fuck how am I going to be able to handle this kind of life and how is Sam going to help me without endangering himself. As it seems like hours have gone pass since Ivan has been fucking me as he cums onto my body each time he has gotten off. I feel his fluids all over my body, wishing I could get a shower to get myself clean. Knowing that him stopping isn''t going to happen anytime soon as I can tell that he is enjoying himself. Even though he is causing me misery, I can''t cry anymore due to all the tears that I already shed, there just isn''t anymore that can fall. T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. When he finally gets off me, I look at him, ¡°Ivan, why do you want to hurt me so much.¡± ¡°Lilly, you deserve it, you tell a little boy that you love Him. But you won''t tell your mate that you love him.¡± ¡°Because I don''t love you, Ivan, you have never given me a reason to love you. I will hate you until you take my veryst breath.¡± chapter 52 chapter 52 I get woken up when hearing the door open. I then be scared that Ivan is getting ready to hurt me more. Knowing that I am so weak that I have no fight left in me, It''s almost like he wants me to die a slow, agonizing death. Just toe back into a world for him to do it repeatedly. As I tremble in fear, hearing the footstepsing closer and closer. I close my eyes, not wanting to see what is about to happen to me. Then I feel the loosing of the belt on my leg as my leg rxes on the bed. Then the same thing with the other leg. I want to close my legs, but I am so weak from all that has happened. Something tells me I don''t need to be scared, that I can rx. But I can''t help but to be terrified. Then I feel too little hands touch my arm. Immediately my fear just disappears, and I get an overwhelming feeling of pure love. I don''t understand this feeling, it''s nothing I have ever felt before, and I know who exactly it is saving me, it''s Jayden. When I open my eyes to see his forest green eyes that are now gold and glowing. He is healing me, he is using his power to save me. I can feel my strengthe back almost automatically, it''s insane. I can''t believe that he is healing me. I feel more powerful than I have ever felt in my entire life. The bed begins to dip, that''s when I hear a sweet voice, ¡°Lilly it''s time for you to go.¡± ¡°Jayden, I''m not leaving you, Ivan will hurt you.¡± ¡°Lilly, you need to go, he won''t stop hurting you.¡± ¡°I would rather him hurt me than ever hurt you.¡± Then I feel as Jayden goes to touch my heart. It sends a shock through my body that makes me ready for whatever is toe. I lift my head up off the bed. That''s when I see red eyes and see Ivan approaching us. Before I can react, he grabs a hold of Jayden by his throat and puts him up against the wall. I lose sight of reality, not knowing what to do. I made the worst decision I could have ever imagined. When I jump from the bed and dig my canines into Ivan''s neck, taking him down to the ground, realizing I just marked my worst nightmare. I watch as he weakens from my marking. Why didn''t I shift, fuck I just made our bond permanent? Not giving a fuck what kind of pain Ivan is in, I run over to Jayden, thanking God he is unharmed. ¡°Jayden, are you okay?¡± ¡°Lilly, you bited him, why now you will never be free.¡± ¡°Jayden, he was hurting you and I panicked, I didn''t mean to mark him.¡± T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. I pick Jayden up and I run out the door. ¡°Jayden, where is your daddy?¡± ¡°Lilly, daddy doesn''t know I sneaked out, but I could feel your pain and knew I needed to save you, but daddy wouldn''t listen to me. So, I had no choice but to disobey him and sneak out of the house. ¡° ¡°It''s okay buddy, just show me where you live.¡± I''m thinking the whole time walking to his house that I need to protect him at all costs. Even if that means that I have to kill Ivan myself. As I am walking over sticks and rocks, my feet begin to hurt. But that doesn''t stop me from getting Jayden safely away from Ivan. Even though it''s dark out, I then realize that Jayden has me walking in a big circle. ¡°Jayden, you''re not giving me the right direction, we just did a circle.¡± ¡°I''m sorry Lily, I just want to spend time with you. It has been so long since we have been together.¡± ¡°I''m sorry Jayden, but right now all I can think about is your safety. We need to get you home, so please help me.¡± Something happens. All of a sudden I feel this really odd feeling of sadness and my heart breaks. I get so confused on why I feel this way. I then looked down into my arms to see Jayden with tearsing from his eyes. Oh my God, I can feel his broken heart. Then I became terrified. Did he feel all the pain that Ivan put me through? The pain that, I thought, was a secret. Does he know everything about it? ¡°Jayden, you just didn''t know about my pain you felt it, didn''t you.¡± ¡°I know it doesn''t make sense, Lilly, but I just knew.¡± It makes perfect sense, Jayden we are connected, somehow we are the same. We are healers, and we need to figure out what that actually means. There has to be a reason behind the disappearance of our kind. But for now, I need to get him home safe where I know his father will protect him at all cost. I watch as his little arm points out to a brick house, ¡°Lily, that is where I stay at.¡± ¡°So this is your home.¡± ¡°No, it''s where I stay. I don''t see this ce as home. I don''t like it here Lily. I want to go back to where we were, that was my home.¡± ¡°Buddy I know that it is an adjustment, and it takes time, but maybe someday this will turn into your home too.¡± ¡°He looks at me and smiles, my home is where you are, Lily.¡± As I walk up to the door, I be so nervous, I haven''t seen Landon in some time. Telling him what happened, he is going to freak out. But I need him to protect him at all costs. I would die for Jayden at any given moment, I love him more than I have ever loved anyone else. As I get up to the door, I take a deep breath and I begin to knock. As I watch the door open, I see Landon. ¡°Lilly, what are you doing here?¡± chapter 53 chapter 53 Landon sees me. I can see the shock on his face. I don''t think he realizes that Jayden is in my arms. Until Jayden pops his little head up ¡°Hey daddy, please don''t be mad at me.¡± ¡°Jayden, what are you doing with Lilly, oh my God what happened.¡± ¡°Daddy Ivan was hurting her. I had to save her, so I did. I tried to tell you, but you didn''t listen, so I had to do it by myself.¡± ¡°No Jayden, you did not he is Alpha there are consequences. Lilly, what the fuck why would you let him be involved.¡±? I be so furious that he thinks I would ever put Jayden in any kind of danger at all. What a fucking peice of shit right before I go to say something. Jayden jumps out of my arm. I can tell he is annoyed. ¡°Daddy what is wrong with you, Lilly was being tortured to death. She needed to be saved. I could sense every ounce of her misery and no one should ever have to go through what she had to.¡± I bend down to Jayden with tears in my eyes. ¡°I''m so sorry that you had to feel any of that. I never wanted you to ever feel that kind of pain. I''m sorry.¡± ¡°Come on now, Jayden, now that is enough. I told you that you need to stand clear of Lilly or there would be trouble. You need to listen to me.¡± ¡°Stay clear of me. What have I ever done? You don''t understand we are connected. If you like it or not, we are the same.¡± ¡°Lilly, you''re only going to bring him danger. Ivan will never allow you to have any connections that are close to me.¡± ¡°I would never allow Ivan to harm him. I would kill Ivan myself before I would ever allow him to hurt Jayden.¡± ¡°Lilly, you can''t protect him forever.¡± ¡°Landon, it''s your fault he was telling you what was happening, but you ignored it, so he took matters in his own hands, and he saved me.¡± ¡°Lilly, I tried to help you, but there was no helping you. I didn''t have a choice. Ivan threatened to kill Jayden if I would eveny just one finger on you. He has lost his fucking mind. I''m sorry I couldn''t risk Jayden''s safety.¡± I can see in his face that he felt bad not helping me, but to think Jayden wasn''t afraid to be like Landon was and Jayden saved my life. I want to scream at Landon. I want to hate him, but I can''t. ¡°Please just keep Jayden safe while I take care of Ivan.¡± ¡°Lilly, I''m sorry for everything I said, and I still do. Sometimes we just don''t get to be with whom we love.¡± ¡°Landon, never say that you ever loved me because what you did, you don''t do to someone that you loved.¡± T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. I am shocked that he still thinks that he loves me. There is no way you don''t do what he did to someone you love. He is a selfish bastard. I will never see him the way I once did or, for that matter, ever love him. ¡°Lilly,¡± I stop him before he can say anything else. ¡°Landon, just take care of Jayden and I will handle Ivan. As for me and you, there will never be any kind of anything.¡± I kneel to Jayden, ¡°I need you to listen to your daddy and stay hidden for a little bit, can you do that for me.¡±? ¡°Lilly, I want to be with you, too. I don''t want to be away from you. Please don''t leave me, I need you.¡± ¡°I''m not leaving you, Jayden, but I need to make sure you''re safe. I need not worry about you, so please just listen to your daddy until Ie back. I will be back, I promise.¡± He puts his little arms around my neck and pulls me in for a hug. ¡°I will listen, but pleasee back soon.¡± ¡°I will be back as soon as I can, I promise.¡± I shift into my wolf and I take off back to Ivan. Never thinking that I would purposely go back to Ivan but knowing I have to save Jayden. I would do anything for him because he may be the only person in this world that I actually love. As I''m getting closer to Ivan''s house, I''m getting nervous, not sure what the hell is going to happen. I want to be strong and stand my ground, but Ivan always finds a way to knock me down. Knowing this is for Jayden, I have to be extra strong. Even though I''m surprised that he never came after us. I walk up the steps to his house, trying to go slow and not make so much noise. I open the door slowly, all the lights are still off, surprised. I make my way up the stairs to where he kept me, not sure if it''s his torture room or maybe even his bedroom for that matter. I be so nervous and scared, I freeze for a second and I hesitate. I then tell myself,e on Lilly, you can do this, get your act together. I see the lighting from the door, since it is the only light that is on in the house. I didn''t even realize how dark it was until I saw the lighting from that room. I be so terrified I don''t want to be, but I can''t help it. Ivan scares the hell out of me in ways. I know I need to be strong for Jayden and not show any kind of weakness at all. I have to be determined and fearless, put my fucken foot down. I take a deep breath as I''m approaching the door. Telling myself that I can do this, by repeating it in my head, hoping if I say it enough that I will remember it. When I get to the door, I look into the room. I''m not sure what I''m looking at. Then I see Ivan on the ground. As I''m walking over to him, I am trying to hide how scared I am of him. But then he asks me the craziest question, and I wondered what the fuck is he pretending is this a game. He then looks at me straight in the face and says in a gentle tone that I have never heard him speak in, ¡°who are you? ¡° Chapter 54 Chapter 54 I am unsure of what to do. I''m scared, wondering what games he may be ying. I watch as he goes to stand. I back up standing in the middle of the doorway. He stumbles and looks into my eyes, "mine, you''re my mate." I am unsure of what is happening. He is starting to scare me. I begin to tremble as I wait for him to snap back into reality. I can be strong, but it doesn''t mean I''m not scared. I watch as he steps towards me. I want to stand my ground, but I can''t. I go to run, but then all I can think about is what will happen to Jayden. So, I stopped, and I turned around to go back into the bedroom. But he is standing in the doorway, just staring at me. I be ufortable with his gaze, and then I realize I am naked. I''m confused by his eyes. It is like this is the first time that he has ever seen me naked before. I get tired of his games. I know that he''s pretending he''s a monster. He has never been the gentle type, not with me, anyway. "Ivan, what games are you trying to y here?" "I''m not sure what games you are talking about, you''re the one standing in front of me with no clothes on. You expect me not to stare at my beautiful mate''s body." "Ivan, stop this, please. I know you''re going to hurt. Just get it over with, please." As hees close to me, he goes to put his hands on my shoulder. I jump back, and my body shakes. Surprised that I reacted like this just by his touch. Hating that he has any control over me in the first ce. I notice that he is about to say something, hoping that he is about toe clean and be the monster I know he is. "Look, I''m not sure why you are so scared, but you don''t have to be. I would never hurt you, I promise." I be so anger from his words "Are you fucking kidding me you wouldn''t hurt me, bullshit? You have tortured me, for I don''t even know how long it''s been, due to you tying me to the bed. Letting me suffer as you beat and raped me whenever you wanted too." I can''t stop myself as tears fall from my eyes. How dare him forget all the pain that he made me suffer. Saying he doesn''t remember, like it''s just so forgettable. I will never forget what he has done to me. I feel as my face gets hot as my anger begins to take over my body. I need to control myself, so I can figure out what the fuck is going on. He walks closer and goes to put his arm around me. I move back away from him where he can not reach me. He looks at me, so confused, "I''m sorry, but I think you have me confused with some else. I would never hurt you trust me." I know that he has to ying some kind of game trust him are you fucking kidding me. He probably has an evil n on how he is going to trick me, so he can then torture me. He reaches his hand out for me to take, but I don''t budge. He must be fucking nuts if he thinks that he can pull a fast one on me. I scream at him " I don''t fucking have you confused with anyone, your a monster. I don''t want you to touch me, just stay away from me, please." "You came into my room if you don''t want to be here, then leave." I''m shocked by his words "Leave, you''re allowing me to leave. You won''t keep me here as your mate. I can just go." "I can''t force you to love me, so what is the point in trying, if you want to leave, it''s your choice." I''m so dumb founded, he has to be fucking joking. There is know way he would just let me go. What the hell is going on? I then look into Ivan''s eyes, and all the hatred I saw before is gone. Is it really possible that he is a different person? That he isn''t a monster. When I look at into his eyes, I''m so confused and uncertain who the fuck I''m looking at. What the fuck has happened to him. Then I remembered I marked him is it possible that me marking him change him. Did it take all the evil out of him? Even so, I will never l be his. I can''t be. I don''t know who this man is in front of me, but I know one thing: it''s not Ivan. I really don''t know what to think, if he is just pretending or maybe when I marked him, something happened, and he has forgotten the monster that he really is. I don''t know what to do. He is allowing me to leave, so why not just do that and see if hees after me. T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. I go and pretend to y this game "So you don''t mind if I just leave and never return, it''s okay with you even if I fuck a another man." He looks at me andughs "I don''t even know why you would, think I would even care if you were with any other man." I look at him confused, "I marked you as mine." "So what I didn''t even ept your mark and I didn''t mark you as mine so it doesn''t mean anything, our connection isn''tplete until we both are marked by each other. I don''t know you So, how would I even know that you would even be a good Luna to my pack." I''m so confused about how he is acting that I need to talk to someone to try to figure out what the hell has happened. I go to walk away, but then I see myself in the mirror. I see how dirty I am and that I''m still naked. My cheeks begin to blush, not understanding why, but I''m embarrassed, wondering why I feel the need to impress him. So, I then decide to walk into the bedroom. I need to get dressed as he is looking at me. I then say quietly, "I''m going to get a shower, then I''ll be on my way." I haven''t taken a shower in a long time. I can''t wait as I step into the bathroom. I wait to see if he is going to follow me. I know that he won''t be able to resist hurting me for long, especially if I go to leave he would never allow me to leave ever. So, why not y this game with him if it is really what he wants, let''s y. Chapter 55 Chapter 55 IVAN''S POV As I amying on the floor, I''m not sure how I got here or what the fuck is going on. I''m not sure what room I''m in. It doesn''t look familiar at all. My head is pounding I go to touch my neck, fuck as I touch it I feel pain. Then a smell begins to overpower my nostrils and almost makes me weak in my knees. I go to look up, and that''s when I see the most beautiful she-wolf that I have ever seen in my entire life. She looks so beautiful with her green eyes and her long brown hair as she is looking at me. I see instant fear, not sure why she is so afraid of me. I look down at her body, loving her naked body. As I let a growl out, making sure it''s known that she is mine. Not liking that her body is exposed, I want to cover her, but I can see that she fears me and I want to avoid frightening her more than what she already is. She is so beautiful, but why is she so fucking against me, I have never met another she-wolf that wasn''t head over heals for me. God, I will not kiss her ass to make her choose to be with me. I won''t force her. What is the fucking point? I''m not fucking sure why she thinks that she is forced to be with her mate. She fucking marked me for what if she didn''t want to be with me in the first ce. How doesn''t she know that the connection between mates is iplete until both are marked? Is she an idiot? I don''t know what is going to happen if she wants to leave. I can''t keep her here if she doesn''t want to be here. I wonder how can she hate me so much when we just met? The way she looks at me is like I''m the person who hunts her dreams. T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. I want to feel her touch so badly, but I don''t want to ruin any chance that I may have to win her over, if that is even possible. As she walks past me, her smell is making me crazy. I want to feel her body against mine. God, when she walks pass me, it is breathtaking. God, I can''t even imagine what her fucking touch feels like. Then I began to think could I really let my mate just walk out of my life even if she wanted to? I hear the shower turn on. I want to go and ask if I can join, but I know that she is notfortable with me and I don''t want to ruin any chance of maybe gaining her trust if it''s at all possible. I don''t know what I''m going to do, fuck. How am I going to win her over? I guess I will be mateless if she doesn''t come around damn it. I''m not sure if I should just wait to see maybe I can win her over. As I look around the bedroom, I notice that the room is definitely not mine, but it smells of my mate. It smells of her blood, what has happened to my poor mate. Who has been hurting my mate? Was it really me that hurt her? I only smell me and her, and another smell of a child. What if all that she has said is true? Have I been hurting her? When I was waking up, I knew that everything seemed wrong, like a dream, but I couldn''t remember anything about her. This room shows that there was something happening that just wasn''t right. As I see the chains on the headboard and my belts that are covered in blood. As I walk over to pick up the belts, that is when I smell the blood on my belt, knowing it is know one other than my mate''s blood. What is happening I would never hurt anyone let alone my own mate. Am I losing my fucking mind? I be lost and unsure of what has been happening, not sure why I''m having so much trouble remembering what has happenedtely. I couldn''t have been in a fog this whole time. Is it really possible that I have I been doing horrible things to her, not even knowing what the fuck I was doing? I need to talk to my father and see what the hell is going on. It seems that time has been moving, but I wasn''t here. I''m so confused. I need to figure this out. I don''t want to leave my mate, but I know that she really doesn''t like me that much, anyway. In order to figure out what has happened, I need to go and see. Maybe he will have some kind of clue about what has taken ce. I don''t say a word to my mate, and I just take off. chapter 56 chapter 56 I don''t know what to think, as I''m waiting for him to barge into the bathroom. He neveres. I turn the water on. I let it warm as I feel the heat of the water on my hand, it feels so good. I step into the shower, I let the hot water pour over my body. I am shocked how satisfying it feels. As I look down, I see the water turn brown as it is cleaning all the dirt off my body. As I reach for the soap, it smells of coconut, loving the smell it is incredible. As I fill my hands with soap and rub it all over my body, god, how good it is making me feel. I haven''t been this rxed in a long time, and I don''t want to get out of the shower. I could stay in here forever, loving the feeling. Of the heat on my body. I then hear a door close. It makes me jump, thinking that he ising in here. I open the shower curtain as my hands are shaking. I am trying to control my shaking hands, but I can''t. Fuck I hate how I react to him, he frightens me so badly. I can''t help but react this way. I shut the shower off, and I try to listen. To see if I hear anything but its dead silence. I then go to step out of the shower and search for a towel. Once I find one, I wrap it around my body. When I go to open the door, I be scared, not sure what is happening. I don''t want to open it, but I know I need to be strong. So, I make myself turn the handle to walk out of the bathroom. But when I walk out of the bathroom to the bedroom, no one is there. I''m surprised. Did he just leave really, is this all for real or is it a bad dream? I then open the closet and look for something to wear. I grab a pair of ck leggings and an oversized sweatshirt. As I look around the room, I wonder where the hell he went. I''m so confused by what is happening. I need to figure out what is going on with Ivan. Before when I looked into his eyes, all I saw was darkness and evil, but not this time I saw empathy and love. I have never seen that side of him. I want to go find him just to see where he has gone. I''m scared to leave the bedroom, wondering if this is a test to see if I would escape? I hate being so unsure and weak, I need not to be afraid and try to find a way to fight. I can''t live a life in fear of my mate. I need to figure this shit out. Star has been quiet, I''m not sure why, but she isn''t talking to me. I know that she is hurt by what our mate has done to us. My mom would always say, ¡°Lilly, the past is gone, soon to be forgotten. You need to live your life to the fullest. That every minute is precious.¡± I don''t want to live in the past but damn how do I move forward? Every time when I think of my life is finally on track, something explodes and throws it off track. What I do know is I can''t stay here. I have to get out of this room. I''m not sure where to go, the only ce that I know is Landon. I rush out the door, hoping he doesn''te back and see me leaving. He seems so different, but it has to be an act. I''m so confused as I''m running to Landon''s house, I don''t even know if he''ll let me in. He is so afraid of Ivan. Everybody is. Maybe if we would all stand up to him, he would finally lose the power he has over all of us. As I get to Landon''s house, I frantically knock, waiting for him to answer. Hoping he doesn''t ignore me and opens the door. As I hear the door knob turn and I watch it open, I''m so thankful when I see Landon. ¡°Lilly, what are you doing here, you shouldn''t be here?¡± ¡°I''m sorry I didn''t know where else to go when I got back to check on Ivan. It was like he was a different person, a kind person.¡± ¡°What are you talking about, people just don''t change?¡± Original content from N?velDrama.Org. ¡°When Jayden came to help me, Ivan grabbed hold of Jayden. I panicked and, not thinking, I bit him on the neck in my human form, then realizing I marked him as mine. When He fell to the ground I took off with Jayden, I''m afraid of what he would do. I brought him to you so you could protect him. When I got back to Ivan, he was different; he wasn''t the cold person who he was before. All the hate in his eyes seemed like it disappeared. Then he did the unthinkable and left me free.¡± ¡°Lilly, your tests areplete. You wanted to find out if you were a healer now you have the answer.¡± Tests what is he talking about, I''m confused by his words. Does he think that I''m making all this up? That I''m just trying to test him. Why would he think that I would never endanger him? Even though I''m angry with him, I still would never want anything to happen to him. Jayden needs his father. ¡°Landon, what are you talking about, we need to figure this out. I''m not testing you. I swear I would never put you in any kind of danger, not on purpose, anyway.¡± ¡°Lilly, you weren''t the one testing me.¡± ¡°Okay, Landon, what is going on, You''re confusing me.¡± ¡°Lilly, you wanted to find out what you were you are indeed a healer it has all been proven with thest test beingpleted.¡± chapter 57 chapter 57 I hear Landon talking, but I don''t understand the words as I watch his lips move but not understanding the words, I watch as He reaches his arm out to me tofort me. I then move backwards, not wanting any of hisfort. I''m shocked, wondering if he was involved in everything that has taken ce. I don''t speak to him, I turn around, and I run, I don''t shift, I just run as myself. Tears flowed down my eyes, realizing all that had happened was a test. To figure out, I was a healer. I''m so uncertain about everything. I want answers, but I feel betrayed. I, no what I wanted in the beginning, wanting to find out who I was, but knowing now what it all cost just wasn''t worth any of it. It seems like I''m losing small pieces of myself as time goes on. I''m scared that eventually I''m just going to disappear and hate who I be. I don''t look back, I just continue to run faster and faster. I need to get away from all of this. I have been held here for too long, it''s time to get out of here, especially now that Ivan has set me free. I''m shocked at the way my body feels, especially since I was so malnourished. From Jayden healing me, I feel more power than I have ever felt. I begin to slow as I think of Jayden. Can I leave him behind? I don''t have a choice, I have to protect myself. No matter the bond that I have with Jayden, I need to escape this ce. I''ve only ever been put through pain. I need to escape this ce once and for all. I then can hear the shuffling between the leaves and in a distance I know someone is following me. Scared that it is Ivan, ready to attack me and put me through all the misery you possibly can. But it isn''t his scent that I smell, it is Landon. I be confused, why would he Chase me, what does he want now? I then feel pain as I''m being tumbled down to the ground. I try to escape, but there''s no use as he holds my hands down to the ground, and a naked Landon is on top of me. ¡°Landon, what are you doing, let me go.¡± ¡°You can''t be angry, we only did what you wanted. You wanted to find who you are, you had questions and now have the answers.¡± I don''t know what to do. I don''t want to be controlled by anyone. I know I wanted to find out who I was. Not knowing the cost and not caring, but now That I have lost everything, it matters. I don''t know what to say to him, I''m so angry, but he only did what he did because I asked him to. ¡°Lilly, I''m sorry that things did not turn out how you wanted them to, but now you have answers.¡± I don''t know what to say, my mind is nk. I''m so furious at myself for being so selfish. I hate that I have allowed all of this to happen to me. I have made all the wrong choices, and I don''t know how to fix any of it. I know that I just want to run away from all of this. Knowing if I do run away, it won''t change anything. I need to stay to figure all of this out. I need to face all of this, no matter the cost. ¡°Let me go, Landon, I''m tired of being held down.¡± ¡°Are you going to run away from me?¡± ¡°What''s it matter if I do, it''s my choice to stay or leave.¡± ¡°It is your choice, but I want to exin everything to you first. Will you please juste back to my house? I really want you to know the truth about everything.¡± When I look into his eyes, I can tell that he''s frightened about what he is about to tell me. It sort of makes me feel uneasy knowing whatever he is going to say to me, he is afraid of my reaction. I then be curious to see what he is so nervous about telling me. ¡°Fine, I will go back with you, but I can''t promise that I''m staying.¡± ¡°That''s fine. I just want you to finally know the truth about everything. I think that it''s time that you finally know.¡± They say that finding out the truth will set you free, but is that really the case. What if the truth isn''t at all what I want to hear? What if the truth is what destroys me even more? I am so tired of heartbreak that I''m uncertain if I can take much more. ¡°Okay Landon, are going to get up off me, I wille back.¡± T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. As he smirks at me, I can see the lust in his eyes. Knowing that he is craving my body. ¡°Are you sure that is what you want me to do, that you don''t want anything else from me.¡± ¡°Yes, now get your big ass off me.¡± ¡°Damn,dy, you don''t have to be so mean.¡± He then lets out a yfulugh. I watch as he gets up and once he gets to his feet, he then reaches out to me to help me get up. I then reach my hand to connect my hand to his. As he pulls me up, my body falls into his. I can feel his breath on my cheek. Not wanting to react to him, I turned my head. Trying to ignore the tingling feeling in-between my legs. I push him away, not wanting toplicate things even more than they already are. I then begin to walk back to his house. I can hear him trailing behind me. I don''t talk to be honest, I don''t know what to say, and I''m worried about what is about to happen. chapter 58 chapter 58 LANDON''S POV As I watch Lilly walk away, I feel sorry for all that I have done to her. Even though I know it is exactly what she wanted. I wonder, though, would she still want it if she knew what it all cost? I snap out of my thoughts when I hear Jayden yelling at me. ¡°Daddy I don''t know why you gotta be so mean to Lilly. All you do is make her cry.¡± ¡°Jayden, I''m sorry, all I wanted was to protect you.¡± ¡°Daddy, I don''t need your protection. I can take care of myself. I''m a big boy now. I''m 5 years old.¡± ¡°Jayden, it''s just tooplicated for you to understand.¡± ¡°Daddy only because you make it that way.¡± ¡°Jayden, I think it''s time for you to go to bed.¡± ¡°Daddy I wish you would just listen to me for once and not treat me like a baby.¡± T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. I watch as he stomps away. I want to chase him, but I know that it will do nothing. He is so hard- headed, just like his mother, always wanting to help others no matter the cost. He is too young to understand that all that I do is for him. I want to protect him, no matter the cost. I had no other choice. I had to do exactly what Dean told me to. Especially if it''s going to protect my son. I wanted to avoid involving Jayden in any of this. But it was hard not to. He is a healer just like Lilly and this will confirm everything what they truly are. I believe that is why Lilly feels such a connection with Jayden because they are the same. She would do anything for him, no matter the cost. This proved it. I just hope that she will be able to forgive me, especially when she finds out the truth about everything. I''m afraid that she is going to me me for the death of her baby. Even though it was Ivan that marked her, it was me who lit his me. That made him go crazy and mark her. Ivan was going to Let Lilly choose her own path, we couldn''t allow that. He felt it would be better not to be part of the n, so we had to force him to do exactly what needed to be done. Who knew a little injection could turn his wolf so mad. Dean would not tell me what it was. All I knew was once he received it, he would turn into a monster. Ivan was our Guinea pig, our test subject. The only way he would have been able to be human again was He would have to be marked by a true healer. So, once she marked him, it cured him. She instantly healed him. I guess it was good that they were mates, anyway. This is how they would force healers to be mated to those they wanted them to be with. I preferred not to do any of this, but there just wasn''t any other way. I guess we will know very soon if Lilly is indeed a healer, after all. I hated that I fell in love with her. Even though I was grateful for ourst night, we spent time together. But I wanted more than just that night. I wanted a lifetime with her. Knowing that she hates me kills me inside. I hate that I had to be added on to the list of those that have betrayed her. All I have been able to do is think about her. No other she-wolf evenpares to her. Dean said that unmated wolves attract to her automatically due to her being able to heal their broken hearts. That''s why healers are nearly extinct. People fought to take them. Wanting their powers of healing the dying. Also, making them mate to whom they wanted them to mate too. I didn''t want this to happen to Lilly. Hating that I was involved in her misery, I''m no different. I had her mark the person she hates the most. I am no better than Ivan forcing her to do things. I start to wonder if she would have found us sooner, if she had been able to save my mate. I hate that my mate is gone, I miss her so much. Being with Lilly does sooth my pain. Maybe that''s why I fell in love with her. But if she marked Ivan, it is done with, there is no second chance to be with her. There''s no one else to me but myself but all I really wanted was for Lilly to find out the truth about who she is. Hating how Everything just got out of control, I never thought that Ivan would do all the things he did. I mean, I knew that she would survive because she can''t die. But knowing all the suffering that she had to indoor was just uncalled-for. I didn''t realize that Jayden would have the abilities to feel all the pain that she felt. I hate that he had to pay the consequences of my actions. As I go to walk up the stairs, I decide I need to stop punishing myself that there is nothing I can do. What is done is done. Then I hear a sound that catches my attention as I walk back over to the door. That is when I hear the knock at the door. I waited to open, not wanting her to know that I was at the door so soon. Not wanting to give her the wrong idea. It''s time for the truth, but I''m afraid once it is out that she will never look at me the same way. That I''m going to lose all her respect. Hating how difficult things have to be. I put my hand on the door knob and began to twist, not wanting to open the door, but I did. I try to give her a cold expression, but I can''t help but to look at her beauty. As her lip begins to move, I''m in a trance, not being able to respond, scared that after the wordse out of my mouth that it will be done and over with. That there won''t be any fixing it, but I have no other choice, so I just say it. ¡°Lilly, your tests areplete. You wanted to find out if you were a healer, now you have your answer.¡± chapter 59 chapter 59 It has been a couple of days that I have found out the truth about everything that has happened. I haven''t talked to Landon. I have been trying to avoid him as much as possible, not wanting to talk to him just yet. I understand why he did what he did, but I almost feel like he caused all that happened. Even though he wasn''t the one that did it physically. What surprises me even more is that Ivan has been gone since that night he left while I was in the shower. He hasn''t been back since. I''m not sure where we stand or what is going to happen between the two of us. I''m afraid that I will not be able to look at him the way a mate should look at their mate. I mean sometimes I even get scared just thinking about being with him with all the pain he caused. I want to be happy with my mate, but I''m just not sure if that is really in the cards for me. How can I be happy with someone who has caused me so much suffering in the past? I don''t know how I feel about anything. Maybe that''s why I haven''t talked to Landon, yet I''m so angry, even though I understand why he did what he did. But I wonder if anything between us was real. I feel that I can''t just leave him off the hook so easily, but he only did what I asked him to do. I thought knowing what I am would help me figure out who I want to be. But it only confused me more. I''m not sure what the hell to do with my life, and it makes me so furious. I despise that I still have feelings for Landon, and I know that your feelings for someone can''t just disappear overnight. I want to hate him, but I don''t. I crave him instead. Wishing maybe if I had those feelings for my mate that it would be easier to forgive him. I think I''m so angry because of losing my child that my own guilt is eating at me because of not wanting to be a mother. Thinking that maybe that is the reasoning behind everything that has happened, that I have caused it all. That I brought it on myself because I''ve never wanted it. The whole time I was pregnant, I showed no love of affection, nothing. What kind of person does that make me? I hate who I''m bing, and I don''t know how to fix any of it. All I really want is to be happy, but I''m not sure if it is even possible for me to be happy. Thinking about all that I have done and what others have done to me. Knowing that I could have prevented all of it, but instead I allowed it all to happen to me. I hate that I can''t bring myself to leave this room. I''m so ashamed of my life that I don''t want to face any of it. I know that I''m going to have to deal with it eventually, but today is not that day. I prefer not to try to solve anything, all I want is to waddle in my sores. I need to forgive myself for allowing all this to happen to me before I can do anything else. As I kick the covers off of me, I go to stand and walk over to the window. I look over the territory, not knowing anyone, but enjoying watching how happy the other wolves seem to be with their families. As my eyes feel up with tears, wondering will I ever have what they have, a family? I''m not sure if it will be possible for me to be happy. When all I feel is disappointment in myself. How will I ever be able to let it all go and just be happy? T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. I back away from the window, not wanting to see everyone else''s happiness. It''s not fair, all I want is to find some kind of happiness for myself. I know that it was going to be hard to find a life without my family. But fuck I never imagined that all of this would''ve happened. I rather have just been alone than had to go through all of this nonsense. I then hear a knock at the door, I''m not sure who it is, but I really just don''t want to bother. I know that I''m going to have to get over all of this eventually. It''s just right now I''m not ready to face all of it. As the knocks continued, I tried to ignore them, but they are determined not to stop, so I eventually caved and opened the door. I slowly opened the door, not knowing who was at the other end. That''s when I see a pair of beautiful Gray eyes and I realize it is my mate. It is so weird calling him that I''ve only ever known him as a monster. I am not even sure if I want to get to know the person he actually is. As he goes to open his mouth and I be nervous, then he goes to push the door open. I jump backwards. Scared That he''s going to grab me and hurt me. He then stops in his tracks and looks at me. I can see that he has sadness in his eyes. But it doesn''t prevent my reaction. I be afraid and overwhelmed; I try to control myself as much as I can. But it''s hard. Being in his presence makes my body shake in fear. ¡°Lilly, I''m not here to frighten you, but there is a lot that we need to talk about.¡± I don''t respond to him. I honestly don''t know what to say, what if I say the wrong thing, and it sets him off? Before the words evene out of my mouth, he looks at me and says¡± Lilly, would you have dinner with me, please?¡± chapter 60 chapter 60 IVAN''S POV I can''t stay here. I need to get out of here, the smell of my mate''s blood is overwhelming me. I couldn''t have hurt her. She has to be lying. I am not a monster or am I did I torture my mate. Why can''t I remember what the fuck has happened? I need to get out of here. My head is full of confusion. I then began to think, what have I done to my mate. I''m so confused and uncertain about what has taken ce. I don''t remember ever even meeting her. But when I looked into her eyes, all I could see was her fear of me. I need to get out of here, I can''t face her right now. I need to figure all this out. So, I decide not to tell her anything and leave while she is in the shower. I try to be quiet as I open the door and walk out of the bedroom. I shift into my wolf once I get outside. I feel so much anger and pain, but I am uncertain why I even feel this way. I try to remember anything, but it''s like I can''t think. My mind is like a fog. Nothing is really coming back to me, and I need to figure out what all the hell has happened to me. As I''m running my territory, it looks different, like we were under some attack, but I don''t recall anything happening. I need to see my father, he will tell what the fuck is going on. I rush to where my father and mother live, when I approach there, house there are no lights. I go and begin knocking frantically, trying to wake them, but no onees to the door. I be worried, wondering why they are not answering. It almost seems like the world I knew isn''t the world I am in. As I start frantically looking in every which direction, trying to figure out where they have gone. That''s when I fall to the ground and begin to roll. I go into defense mode to find it''s my brother, Sam. I am so relieved to see him that I shift back to my human and put my arms around his neck and hug him. Sam pushes me off of him, ¡°dude what the fuck you''re naked and hugging me.¡± ¡°I am just so d to see you. Where are our parents? What has happened to our territory?¡± ¡°You do not remember what all has happened.¡± Original content from N?velDrama.Org. ¡°No I don''t. I woke up next to my mate, not even knowing her but perceiving she is terrified of me. I''m not even sure what I did to make her so scared.¡± ¡°Oh brother, I''m not sure if you want to remember the pain that you have caused her.¡± I don''t know what to say to him. How could I not remember being so cruel to the one that I am supposed to love? I don''t remember any of it, or even how we met before tonight. Will I ever be able to get my mate not to fear me? I begin to wonder if she did not want me, then why would she mark me as hers? ¡°Sam, I need you to take me to father, please, I''m not remembering where Father and mother are staying.¡± ¡°They stay at the same ce. All the lights are off because they are not. Here, they went to try to make peace with another pack To try to strengthen ours.¡± ¡°How do I not remember any of this? What the fuck has made me forget everything?¡± Sam looks at me with relief on his face. I wonder why he feels so relieved with me not remembering all that I have done. ¡°Brother, sometimes it''s better off not remembering the horrible things that you have done. Maybe this could be a fresh start to being good.¡± ¡°Sam, I need to know everything that I have done no matter how bad it is. I need to know every detail.¡± ¡°Ivan, I think it''s better for you not to remember.¡± ¡°Sam, how am I supposed to figure anything out if I''m not even sure what is happening.¡± ¡°I''m not sure how you lost your memory, but this could be a good thing, an opportunity to try to make it up to your pack and your mate for all the wrong you have done to them.¡± ¡°So what, I have been such a horrible Alpha and mate that I need to make up for it.¡± ¡°That is, to say the least. You have been a bastard to everyone, even to our parents. You have been torturing your mate to the point where you almost killed her not once, but several times.¡± ¡°You''re lying, I wouldn''t do that.¡± ¡°Oh, but you did, brother. You even killed your own child just so you could mark her as yours.¡± ¡°What the fuck no I''m not monster. How did all this happen and I don''t remember any of it.¡± ¡°Come on Ivan, really, you''re going to use the excuse that you don''t remember all the horrible things that you have done.¡± ¡°Sam, I''m not pretending. I swear to you, I''m telling you the truth.¡± ¡°I don''t know what you want me to say. There isn''t any good you have done.¡± ¡°I woke up marked and confessed, not remembering anything but smelling the fear radiating off of my mate.¡± ¡°She has reason to fear you, fine if you want to know all that you have done. Come with me and I will tell you everything you want to know.¡± ¡°Thank you, Sam.¡± chapter 61 chapter 61 LILLY''S POV There is so much to figure out why would I ever want to be alone with him? I can see thepassion in his eyes, but I don''t care. I want to avoid being anywhere near him. Of course, I''m afraid to say the wrong thing, but I need to stop being afraid. I am strong, I know I am, I have to be for all that I have been through. I just wish that I felt that strength and maybe If I did I would be able to stand up and say what I really want to say. I stay silent, not being able to speak, wondering why can''t I Force the words out of my mouth. As he takes a step towards me, I take a step backwards, not wanting to be close to him. I can feel the mate bond making me want to be close to him, but I fight it. Even though I know that he is mine, I don''t want him. There is nothing he can do to make me forgive all the wrong things that he has done to me. I watch as he goes to speak to me, ¡°Lilly, there''s a lot that I am sorry for, but there are things that are more important. That needs to be dealt with now, notter. Lilly, you are now the Luna of the pack. We need to have a ceremony to make it official. I know that you probably don''t want to, but our pack is in danger, and we need to make it as strong as possible.¡± Even though I prefer not to speak to him, I know I have to. He has put me through so much, but he is right. We need to figure all this shit out. I really don''t want Anyone else to get hurt. If I can help make the pack stronger and lead them in the right direction, it would all be worth it. Then maybe even take over as their alpha. I can see the desperation in his face. I know he wants me to say something. I struggle with not knowing what to say. I don''t want him to think that I will just follow what he says like his little puppet. I decide I''m not doing this for him. I''m doing this for Jayden and the pack members who need my protection. I can''t allow others to get hurt because of me. I need to put my issues aside and figure out how to move on from here. Even though he is acting like he has forgotten all the terrible things he has done to me, I still remember all of it in detail. I stand up straight and make myself speak the words that I don''t really want to say. ¡°Fine, I will have dinner with you but only to discuss what we need to do to protect the pack and that is it.¡± I watch as a smilees on his face, which makes my stomach turn. ¡°Thank you, Lilly, I appreciate you epting my invitation.¡± ¡°Just know Ivan, I''m only epting to protect the pack, not because I want to have dinner with you.¡± ¡°I know Lilly, it just shows how great of a Luna you''re going to be picking your pack over. You''re fear .¡± ¡°Ivan, I''m not afraid of you.¡± ¡°I''m sorry about everything, even though that doesn''t erase all the wrong that I have already done.¡± ¡°What, you''re fucking sorry really. eww I hate you so much I could rip your fucking face off. Let''s make one thing clear, I want nothing to do with you ever. I will agree only because I want to protect Jayden.¡± ¡°I''ll be here at 7pm, thank you, Lilly.¡± I watch as he walks out the door, I notice when he stops and goes to turn around. I hurry and shut the door, not allowing him to speak another word to me. Not caring what he has to say, no words could ever fix what he has done to me. I''m so frustrated about how he has changed my mood. I began stomping around like a child. I be so angry I then throw myself on to my bed. I look up to the ceiling, then begin to wonder what he has nned for tonight. I then stopped myself. It doesn''t matter what he has a n, he is a monster. That doesn''t deserve any of my attention. Now that I officially marked him, how am I going to be able to resist him? I need toe up with some kind of n. To make sure that I don''t fall back into his trap. It all has to be a game. Right, I meane on memory, lost. It all has to be a joke. He can''t be this good person after all that he has done. No matter if I marked him, I will never fall back into this web of Ivan I refuse. I need to be able to find my own path, but I think right now this pack needs There, Luna. So, I won''t run away, I will stay and do whatever I need to do to protect them. Original content from N?velDrama.Org. I''m confused by the confidence that I feel. It is like it''s not me at all. Has the mark on Ivan changed me to make me the Luna I''m supposed to be for this pack. I almost feel like I have a purpose. Then All of a sudden, I get a chill that goes down my spine. I shake it off as I then be worried because Right then and there is when I realize something bad it''sing, or maybe it''s already here. chapter 62 chapter 62 I hear a knock at the door, I get up, not very enthused. I do not want to go and have dinner with him. I force myself to open the door, knowing That This has to happen, we need to figure out what ising and how we can protect our pack. He looks at me and smiles. ¡°Hello Lilly, you look beautiful. Are you ready?¡± I roll my eyes at him and I don''t speak. I walk out the door and try not to touch any part of his body. But there isn''t enough space as my stomach rubs against his waist, I instantly be wet In between my legs letting out a soft moan not meaning to or even realizing it. I then be embarrassed, hoping that he did not notice or hear me. But when I look up at him, I see the big smile on his face and I know he heard. I begin to blush, not being able to help it. I then bite my bottom lip, trying to control my body from wanting to rip his fucking clothes off his body. ¡°The car is downstairs, Lilly, it is waiting for us. I hope you don''t mind going out for dinner. I figured it would be nice to get away from here for a little, anyway.¡± ¡°Yes, that would have been nice to get away from here if it wasn''t with you and with someone I actually liked.¡± I can see the disappoint in his face from my words he then says, ¡°I know it''s going to be hard Lilly, but we need to learn how to tolerate each other, especially in front of our pack they cannot see that we do not get along They will lose faith in us.¡± Property ? N?velDrama.Org. I roll my eyes at him but say nothing back to him, It makes me angry knowing that he''s right, but I still want to criticize everything he says and does even though I know I need to respect him, well, at least in front of the pack members. I don''t want anyone to see any kind of weakness to doubt us as their leaders. I look at him, ¡°Fine, I will respect you in front of our pack, but don''t think I will show you any kind of respect when we are alone.¡± ¡°Thank you, Lilly,¡± As we are walking out to the car, it is quiet. I guess we both have nothing else to say. As he goes to open the door for me, I push it away, then feeling the spark from his hand. It makes me jump, not in a bad way, but in a good way that confuses me. I have never felt such pleasure. I try to forget about how it felt, so I focus on my anger. ¡°I don''t need you to open the door for me, I can do it myself. You don''t need to do anything for me.¡± He thenes close to me, I can feel my heart begin to race as his breath is on my neck. ¡°Lilly, we are in public, remember you need to respect me and I need to respect you. A good mate opens the door for their mate. I''m not trying to control you, I''m trying to make a good impression.¡± I then remove my hand and allow him to open the door for me. I don''t know how I am going to be able to act ok around him, but I know I need to try because whatever ising we need to put our differences aside and fight together to ovee whatever it is. I scout into the back seat, scouting as far away as I can until there is no more room to move. I don''t want to be closer to him than what I have to be. As he gets in and shuts the door, the breeze from the door shutting sends his scent all over me. I catch myself letting out a small growl of arousal. When He looks at me, all I want to do is devour him. I turn my head and look away from him, scared that if I don''t, that I might do something I regret. I don''t want to feel this way, but I can''t help it. I can feel my panties be wet. I squeeze my legs shut, hoping it would ease myself from wanting to fuck him so badly. I constraint on the trees how all the leaves have fallen off, crazy, how time never stops. It just keeps going, if you like it or not. It soon will be snowing and too cold to be outside well for most people. Expect werewolves. I guess being a werewolf has some good qualities. We have amazing body heat that keeps us warm through the hellish cold weather. I giggle to myself, realizing I''m thinking about the weather. I have really never thought about it before, never looked into detail about it. My mom would always say, grab a coat. It''s cold, that''s how I knew the temperature outside. Sadness began to ovee me when I know I will never hear her say that again. I try not to be ovee by sadness. I look over at Ivan and all I feel is hatred. I want to hurt him As much as I hurt right now. As I grip onto the seat, trying to control my urges of anger and wanting to take my frustration out on him. Thinking about what I would do to him, I be wet once again. Wanting to feel his grip on to my body as he creases my breast and bites down onto my neck. God, the pleasure that he would give to me. Knowing it would take away all the pain that I''m feeling at this moment. Even though I know afterwards, I will feel horrible. But just filling the sensation even if it''s only for a minute, would it be worth it. I then turned and looked at him as he''s looking out the window and I say fuck it all. When I go to pounce on him, he turns and looks at me, his blue eyes glowing in the dark. fuck yeah, then the mood changes when he says, ¡°We are here.¡± Chapter 63 Fuck, what the fuck is wrong with me? I can''t believe myself. There I go once again, I get all heated, and I forget everything. I scoot over to get out of the car. He reaches his hand out to help me, but I ignore him, not choosing to feel his touch. I Then feel the heat from his hand touching the middle of my back. The feeling of lust begins to take over. I try to control myself as much as I can, feel my panties bing wet. Not wanting him to know how I''m reacting to him. When we approach the hostess, she bes nervous as her speech stutters, "Alpha, wow, it is so nice to see you. I hope you''re having a pleasant evening." "Yes, I am thank you, I have reservations." As I watch, her put her hand on his chest, and she begins to flirt with him, taking her finger and rubbing it down his chest. As she begins to speak, "Alpha, there is no need for you to make reservations. You cane in anytime and I will find you the best table." "That is very kind of you. Can you please show us to our table?" God, I am bing so fucking irritated with this bitch. I can''t help but let out a growl underneath my breath. Trying to warn her to back the fuck up. I know I don''t want him, but my bond is making me react defensively. I watch as she then looks and smiles at Ivan and says, "Of course Alpha, let me lead you the way." I then step in front of Ivan, putting myself in between the both of them. I am shocked by my jealousy, but I can''t help it. God, I hate what this bond is doing to me. I can''t feel for a monster. He doesn''t deserve any kind of love. I get so lost in my thoughts that I feel a strong hand grab me and hold me back then noticing we reached our table the hostess eyes up Ivan and smiles as she nibbles on her bottom lip she begins to say "Here is your table I hope you have a great evening if you need anything and I mean anything I''ll be at the hostess stand." I can''t take it any more. I look at her full of frustration. "Excuse me, do you not see that he is here with his mate." She looks at me andughs. "You his mate? Yeah, right, you wish he was. I go to go after her, but I feel Ivan''s grip tighten as he steps in front of me. He looks at the girl more serious than I have ever seen him look, "Are youughing at your Luna?" I can see the fear appear in her eyes. All my anger then disappears as I watch her tremble. It then reminds me of how scared I was of Ivan. I then yfully grab a hold of Ivan''s arm. It''s okay, she didn''t know we did not announce it., yet it''s okay, Ivan." "I''m so so so sorry, Luna, I didn''t mean to disrespect you." "It''s okay, you didn''t know, but please go away." As I watch her walk away, I''m surprised that Ivan didn''t feed into her hitting on him. Instead, he was respectful, and it seemed like he didn''t even notice her beauty. To be honest, her beauty was hard to miss. "Lilly, are you going to sit down?" "Yes, I''m sorry" as a snap out of my thoughts and sit down. I''m not sure what to say to Ivan. I be relieved when the waiter approaches us, "good evening, what can I get you to drink? I look at Ivan, then the waiter, "I will have water please."T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. Ivan turns to the waiter," I will have the same." As I look over the menu, I am uncertain what to get. I want to ask what is good here, but I want to avoid giving him the wrong impression that I care what he thinks of anything. Then I hear a voice that I have missed so much, it''s star. I close my eyes, wanting to only focus on Star''s voice. "Lilly, he is our mate, and you marked him. We will always care and wonder about him. Know matter how much you fight it, there won''t be any way of resisting him forever." As I open my eyes, I see Ivan is ordering. I''m uncertain what he is saying. Then the waiter turns and looks at me. "Excuse me, miss, what would you like."? I then put a forced smile on my face and answer the waiter, "I will have exactly what he is having." Hoping whatever he got that I''m going to like it. I''m starving. I am not sure what the hell is wrong with me. I''m so unfocused. I wanted to tell him so many mean things, but I''m so distracted that I can''t even speak. I wish he would just get on with it and talk to me about whatever he needs to talk to me about. "So Ivan, what ising? I can feel that something is going to happen." "Lilly, I don''t know what you''re talking about." "Ivan, don''t lie to me. There is something bading, real bad. We need to prepare." "Lilly, I''m not lying to you. There isn''t anything I''m not telling you." I''m confused. I thought this was why we were meeting to talk about what ising. He has know clue what ising. Which terrifies me. We need to figure out what is about to happen. "Ivan, we need to prepare for battle. We are going to be attacked. I can feel it in my bones." He looks at me, puzzled. "Lilly, there is peace in all the packs. There are not any issues happening." "Ivan, please, you need to believe me. I don''t want us to lose any of our pack members." I stare at him frantically, I know what I need to do. I get up from the table and don''t take a second look at Ivan as I am walking away from him. As I ignore him calling for me, I then feel a grip on my arm. "Lilly, where are you going?" "I need to talk to Dean. He will know what is going on because he knows what I am." "What do you mean, he knows what you are?" "Ivan, I''m not just like any other wolf, I''m different." "Different how Lily are you ok." I am surprised, as I look into Ivan''s eyes. I can tell that he really has no clue what I am talking about. "Ivan, I am a healer wolf." "A healer wolf, what is that?" "We don''t have time for me to exin we need to talk with Dean now." I can''t waste any more time and I head to the exit of the restaurant. As I''m walking out the door, I can sense Ivan is just behind me. I see the car that brought us here, and I go to get in as Ivan cuts in front of me and opens the door for me to get in the car. "Lilly, I believe you, and I would like to help you in any kind of way that I can." I just want to kiss him. I''m happy that he believes me. Not that I cared if he didn''t believe me. As I get into the car and scoot over to the window. A feeling I''m not used to oveing, and I smile realizing I''m happy, but I don''t dare let him see it.??????? chatting 64 Is it really possible that the Ivan that I know really isn''t him. Could Ivan really be a gentle soul, even a father someday. I can feel my heart start to sofe for him when i realize what is happening I then shake my head and tell myself Lilly this is the bond talking you need to stop. I need to stay strong and not let this bond try to take me over. He is at an advantage here because my feelings are being forced because of what I did by marking him. Even thought when I look into his beautiful blue eyes Not knowing how they changed colors because when we first met they were gray. I don''t see any kind of hatred like I did before all I see ispassion and love. I be so unsure of myself looking out the window only seeing darkness isn''t helping me figure anything out. It is just making me think more and more. I just want to stop thinking I''m so tired. As I look over a Ivan I see that he is also looking out the window. I then begin to wonder what he is thinking about. Knowing I shouldn''t care what he is thinking about but a part of me hopes that maybe he is thinking about me. And that he is having just as much trouble not thinking about me. as I am trying not to think about him. I just want a life that I would be happy with but to forget all that he has done I could never. All of a sudden I felt A-sharp pain in my gut. I crunch over in pain as it''s bing unbearable. Ivanes over and wraps his arm around my back and puts my head in his chest. I then be confused no understanding what is happening. Then I realize when I was being tortured Jayden felt everything oh my God Jayden is in trouble. I scream out in pain and I look at Ivan "we need to get back to the packhouse now if this car cannot drive any faster then let me out." When I look into his eyes I know that he can tell that I''m not kidding. He tells the driver "go as fast as you can, we need to get back to the packhouse right away."N?vel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive ? material. The driver then ms on his brakes and looks back at his alpha and smirks "That won''t be necessary if there is a pack to even go back to." When I hear those words leave his lips I don''t waste any time I go to open the door but it doesn''t open. I say nothing as I punch out the window to my door and crawl out. As I feel the ss cutting my skin it doesn''t faze me. I hear Ivan "what are you doing Lilly please wait for me I will help you." As soon as I hit the ground I see the driver door open. I watch as he tries to kick me but I roll to my side and he misses me. I then kick my foot out to trip him. I watch as he falls to the ground. I then shift into my beautiful silver wolf. He then tries to grab ahold of me again. I don''t waste any time as I grip on to him by his throat and I bite down hard and take a chunk out of his neck I then spit out and take off to find Jayden. As I am running I can feel more pain and it terrifies me. He is a child who could be hurting him and whoever is they are as good as dead. I then hear snapping twigs not caring what it is. I keep going then I notice Ivan ising up right beside me. I''m relieved that instead of trying to stop me he runs beside me. As we are getting closer to the pack the smell of smoke fills my nostrils. Fear ovees me and only makes me run faster. Fuck I should have never left I knew something bad wasing. Fuck what if I''m tote I don''t feel pain anymore. What if I''m toote to save him. There is so much smoke it bes hard to see. No this can''t be happening, we weren''t even gone long. Why would anyone do any of this? What is the meaning? As I desperately try to pick up Jayden''s scent it''s not there. Approaching the territory I be sick seeing all the wolves that are dead. I need to find Jayden but there are so many injured I can save. I then hear a howl of sadness when I look back I see Ivan "Lilly I''m sorry but I need to go and check on my family. I''ll be back, please be careful." I watch as he runs and disappears through the smoke. I head to Landon''s house not sure where else to look. I know that Landon would tell Jayden to hide. He would never let him fight because he is too young It''s so quiet I hear nothing. The smoke is so thick it''s hard to see. Once I reach the front door I do not knock, I open the door as quietly as possible. As I am walking inside I hear muffled screams that don''t sound like Jayden I''m no sure who thereing from. As I''m getting closer I listen closely. "Where is he tell us now or we will start killing women and children." "I will never tell where my son is. There is nothing that you can do that will change that. I can promise you that." It''s Landon he is beaten down as I look at him from afar. I no that he can''t handle much more. I''m not sure what to do I don''t want to make myself known. But I can''t allow them to kill him Jayden needs him. As watch them pull a knife out I know that I need to save him. My wolf is strong. I know that I can take them. Right before I go to kill them a figure walks out "that''s enough boys I told you not to kill him." "Awee boss let us kill him." I be shocked when I recognize the voice it''s Dean. I then wonder why they are calling Dean boss. This can''t be happening, how could he betray his own alpha for what. I then realize there''s so much more that is happening than any of us could ever imagine.??? Chapter 65 Why would Dean do this? They killed so many innocents for what? None of this makes any sense. I''m not sure what to do. Should I fight and rescue Landon or go find Jayden and take him away from here? I then hear Landon mind link me "Lilly Jayden is in the master guest room underneath the bed there is a hole in the floor for hiding, please get him and run as fast as you can away from here." I turn around to look for the steps to go upstairs. I am unsure where the steps are. I have never been in his house, only outside the door. Why didn''t I think of mind linking him? I find the staircase. I creep up with every noise thates from the steps. It makes me nervous, not wanting to get caught. I then hear a loud scream and pain radiates all over my body, as I fall to the ground. I am struggling to contain myself, realizing the pain that I was feeling wasn''t from Jayden, it was from Landon. I am relieved that Jayden has not been suffering. I try to make it to my feet, I want to avoid getting caught. As I put my hands over my mouth, struggling to hide my whimpers of pain. As a familiar scent enters my nostrils, I be scared. I then feel 2 little hands on my shoulder, ¡°Lilly, are you ok." "Jayden, you can''t be out here, you need to hide" I say in a panic. "Lilly, I can''t leave you here by yourself, I will only go if youe with me." I try to make it to my feet, but my legs are like jello. I don''t know what to do. As the pain is still radiating all over me, it hurts so much it''s hard to control. As my body is overwhelmed, I feel like I am going to faint I know that I need to hurry and get us some ce safe before I pass out. I then turned to Jayden, "where can we hide that nobody will find us?" "My daddy made me a ce where I can hide in case anything whatever happened. No one else knows about it but him and me. It''s not far Lilly you will make it, I will help you." I force myself to stand, as I give it all I have. As he reaches his little hand out to me, I grip onto him and follow him. We walk into a room that looks to be his. There are toys surrounding everything. As we are walking up to a bookcase, I be confused. Then I realize it''s not a bookcase at all, it is a hidden door. "Jayden, your father said that the hidden spot is under the guest room bed, why are we here?" "Lilly, the hidden spot under his bed is only big enough for me. We needed a ce that we both could fit." I watch as he opens the bookcase. I''m not sure what to do. I know what Landon told me, but I need to rest. I''m unable to even try to escape right now. I would get us both captured or, even worse, killed. So, I decide to follow Jayden into the hidden room. As I look around, it looks to be like a shelter, there is a bed and enough supplies for weeks. He leads me over to the bed and I sit. "Lilly, you rest, I will take care of you." A smile ovees my face through all the pain I''m feeling. I then feel love, the love that I have been searching for Jayden is my survival, my reasoning to never stop fighting ever. I need to figure out a way to save Landon, Jayden can''t be an orphan like me. He needs his father to learn from him and help him be the man that he is supposed to be. "Jayden, do you know what happened?" "Daddy was putting me to bed, then we heard big bangs, he then told me to hide and not toe out until he came and got me. But when I smelled you, I got scared that you were in trouble, so I had to find you." Another surprise attack, but why. They wait until night, when most of the pack is asleep, to attack. That must be when they think we are at our weakest. I need to help those that are injured, Landon being first. I can''t hide, I need to fight and help those that helped me even though they caused me pain. They also brought me back to life. I look at Jayden, I''m surprised he doesn''t look scared, he is so calm. He is a child, but he isn''t scared. Most people fear death, but he is not because that is the time he gets to spend with his mother. I know tha I should leave him behind to hide, but having an extra hand would help. I''m unsure what to do, but we need to hurry, we don''t have much time. "Lilly, you don''t have to be scared, I can help. We need to save my daddy." Knowing he hadn''t had his first shift because of not being of age, he would be powerless. Even though needing his help to heal others would be nice, but it isn''t worth the possibility of losing him, I can''t allow him to help. "Jayden, I need you to stay here, I know you want to help, but you''re just not ready for battle just yet." "Lilly, you can''t go alone. You will get. Hurt, please let me help you." "I will be fine, promise me you will stay here until Ie back." "Lilly, please let me help."Property ? N?velDrama.Org. "Jayden, promise me." As he looks at me, I can see the disappointment in his eyes, but I just can''t risk it. "I promise Lilly." I reach my arms out, and I wrap them around Jayden as I give him a hug, I squeeze him tight. Wanting tofort him and take all the bad away. I held on to him for a couple of minutes, not wanting to let him go but knowing I need to, "I''ll be right back, I promise I''m going to get your daddy.¡±???????? Chapter 66 I know that I can''t run, there is nowhere to run. I need to stay and fight. As much as I hate all that has happened to me, I know this is where I belong and Landon is my Alpha and I need to save him. I go to open the bookcase door, I then look back at Jayden and smile, "I''ll be right back, I love you." Even though he is upset with me, a smile appears on his face, "I love you too, Lilly." I open the bookcase as quietly as possible. Knowing that I cannot be heard, the consequences could be awful. It is so dark it''s hard to see. Then all of a sudden, I can see a golden glow, shocked when I realiz it''sing from me. My eyes are glowing. Once blinded by the dark, but now I can see everything. I can still feel difort from Landon, but they must be letting him rest to heal a little. Before they begin to torture him even more. I''m confused about how I can feel his pain. I don''t understand, but I don''t have time to try to figure that out right now. I try to listen for any type of noise, but I hear nothing. Have they given up and left, or are they waiting? Is it a trap? I am not sure what to believe. I just want to help. But what scares me is what if my help leads to our deaths. I get to the staircase, knowing that once I go down the stairs, there is no going back. Do I really want to know the truth about what is happening? Or should I just say fuck it and run far from here? I just can''t knowing how it feels to have no family in this world, I can''t allow Jayden to suffer to feel the pain that I feel every day. I need to dim my eyes, but I''m not sure how to do so. I then just give it a shot. I close my eyes and I then begin to think of darkness. I slowly begin to open my eyes, praying that it worked and when I see everything is ck, I know that it worked. I walk down the steps, still not hearing anything. I make my way to the dining room, where I believed it was where Landon was being tortured. Suddenly, I heard a big Bang, as I turned around. I see the front door being pushed open and smashing against the wall. I then hide myself into the darkness, worry I''m unseen. I see 2 men holding up what looks to be a lifeless body. When the scent hits my nose, I then realize that it is my mate.Property ? N?velDrama.Org. Anger ovees me, and I am unable to control it as I shift into my wolf. I wait for them to get closer and as they do, I then jump the first one as I rip his throat out and his lifeless body falls to the ground. The other manes storming towards me, and I wait for the perfect timing. My jaw''stch on to his skull as I bite down, and it turns it to nothing but mush. I walk over to my mate, licking his wounds, healing him and whimpering, knowing he is hurt. It must just be instinct to protect your mate. Wondering why I didn''t feel him being hurt, but I felt when Landon was being tortured. I am worried that if they took Ivan down, is the entire pack gone. I am so full of rage, I am not sure how to control it. I want to rip them to shreds, every singlest one of them, Including Dean, the trader that he is. I then Rush over to the front door, I shut it and lock it. Hoping that Ivan wakes up faster, Knowing I''m going to need his help. I will not be able to defeat these monsters on my own, But I will make sure that they pay for every life that they have taken. I didn''t want to get Jayden involved, but I have no other choice with Ivan not healing fast enough. We are guaranteed to get caught. As I shift back into my human, I am shocked by my strength. It is remarkable I picked up Ivan and threw him over my shoulder. It''s like he weighs nothing. I then make my way to Jayden, as I get to the bookcase I knock. I watch as it opens. "Jayden, I need your help. I need you to heal him, please. Well, I go find your father." I then make my way into the hidden room and lie Ivan on the bed. As I look at him, I''m surprised I don''t feel hatred, I feel sadness. I wonder if it is the bond, or do I really feel upset because of the state that he is in. I go to walk out of the room. Jayden grabs a hold of my hand. "Lilly, please be careful, I can''t lose you either." I look at him and for once, I do see fear, his fear of losing me. All this time I had the fear of losing him, not realizing he had the same for me." Jayden, I will be back, I promise you." As I walk out and watch the bookcase close from behind me and lock it. Suddenly, a confidence that I did not have before ovees me. I have to be strong because he doesn''t just need Landon, he needs me also. I won''t allow him to have anyone he loves taken away from him again. I then begin to make my way down to where they were holding Landon. Not caring, I am naked in my human form, knowing I may have to shift again. There is no time to be self conscious. I need to move alone and not waste time. Hoping that he is there alive, and I''m able to save him. I tried to mind link him to ask where he is, but there is no answer. He probably fainted from all the pain that they have made him suffer. I try to pick up Landon''s scent, but I can''t. I''m worried. I used to love his scent surrounding me, the smell of pine. It reminded me of Christmas. My family and I favorite holiday. Some of my greatest memories o them. I begin to wonder what does it mean If I''m unable to pick up his scent, is he gone? As much as I am angry at him and I wish that he never did what he did, I still don''t want to lose him. As I am searching for him, I''m not having any kind of luck. I have no idea where he could be, but I know he is not here. Wondering where the hell he could, but he is ok, he just has to be okay. I know he did wrong, but he isn''t all bad. There is so much more good in him than bad. Fuck, I need to find him, I then hear my name faintly, but I hear it. Not knowing where the hell it''sing from. I begin to look around frantically trying to find him But I don''t see him. I be confused wondering if I am hearing things. Then suddenly I feel something wet hit my cheek when I go to look up, and I am horrified by what I see. They nailed him to the fucking ceiling. How is that even possible? I am not even sure what the fuck to do to even get him down. I watch as his chest moves. I then know he is alive, thankfully. I need toe up with a n and fast before theye back looking for their pack members that I killed. I then push the kitchen table underneath him. I began to start pulling the nails from his body that is holding him to the ceiling. Hoping that he doesn''t bleed too much that it kills him. As I watch the blood just pour out of him, I then realize I need toe up with something better. So, I then decide to lick his wounds from each nail once it closes, then move on to the next nail, so this way it should prevent him from bleeding out. The pain that they have caused him, regardless of what he had done, he didn''t deserve this kind of treatment. As I am holding his body up with one hand, pulling the nails out with the other. His armes down and identally smacks me in the face, almost losing my bnce as my handes off of him, and he falls to the table breaking it and me falling on my ass to the floor. I stood up in a panic, knowing there''s no way they did not hear that crash. I wasn''t able to fully heal him. Before I know it, I see the front door swing open. I''m not sure what to do. Should I run and hide, or should I stand my ground? Before I can even decide, I am spotted, and they begin to surround me. Chapter 67 I am uncertain about what to do, I have never battled so many at once. But I will not show any kind of weakness. Even though my alpha did not protect me, I will protect him at any cost. I refuse to lose anybody else I care about. I was always taught that you protect those that you love no matter the cost, even if it leads to your death, and that is what I''m going to do. I shift into my wolf and go for the kill, not taking mercy on any wolf thates into my direction. I can''t show even a smudge of weakness to where I can be taken down. As I rip through the flesh of many, the metallic taste is remarkable. It makes my wolf lick our lips in delight as the blood drips from my mouth. All of a sudden, I see the same golden light that I saw when my eyes glowed. I get thrown off track, wondering why Jayden came out of hiding. My wolf then gets pushed up against the wall by multiple wolves, they are holding me there. I then be terrified, hating that no matter what I do, I can''t get free. Fuck, what am I going to do now? I can''t allow Jayden to get hurt. I then shift back to my human form to see if I have any better chance of escaping, but I couldn''t be more wrong as one of the wolf''s grabs a hold of my throat. I begin to struggle to breathe but knowing I cannot pass out, if I do there is no telling what they would do to Jayden, I have to stay strong for him. My eyes begin to close and I can''t take in any oxygen. I tried to hold on as long as I could, but I can''t, but then I felt his grip loosen, and I go to open my eyes to see that the wolf that had his hand wrapped around my neck was gone. I fall to my knees, gasping for air and rubbing my throat. Wondering how Jayden was able to save me. When I see a tall dark shadow with gold glowing eyesing towards me, I get scared knowing it was not Jayden that saved me, but who. As they''re getting closer, I am starting to be able to see better than I realize oh my, God it''s Landon. Wait, is he a healer also? I just believed that Jayden got it from his mother and waited where they both healers. I be so confused, I then feel a sharp pain across my face. Making me snap out of my thoughts, hearing Landon speaking to me. "Lilly,e on, we need to get Jayden and get out here now that they know what we are, they will never let us go." "Landon, what are you talking about?" "I will exin everything I promise but for now, Lilly, we all need to escape while we have the chance. Please, I know that I betrayed you, but please trust me. Landon grabs a hold of my hand and pulls me along with him as takes off for the stairs. I almost trip over the bodies that lie on the floor in front of us. I am so confused. He knew all along, why would he let all o this happen? I tried so hard not to be angry. Honestly, I think I''m more hurt than anything. He allowed all that had happened when he knew what I was. As we get to the room, I see the bookshelf open. I be scared this can''t be. Did they take him? We walked into the little room. I then see Ivan lying on the bed but he is not moving. I be nervous, not able to take my eyes off of him, and then I see his chest move, grateful that he''s alive. There is no Jayden. Where is he? I begin to panic, I yell his name "Jayden" A firm hand covers my mouth. "Lilly, you need to be quiet. They find us, we need to be careful. There is another spot that Jayden might be at." I watch as he walks into the secret room. He goes and opens a hidden door, and that''s when I see Jayden reach his little hand out for Landon''s hand. Tears begin to fill my eyes. I''m so relieved that he is okay. When he sees me, he runs over to me. "Lilly, you''re okay, I was so scared." "Oh, Jayden, I told you that I would be okay. I''m just happy that you are okay." When I look and see Landon look at me, I can see fear in his eyes, which worries me what the fuck is happening, then he says. "We need to go now, there is no time. They will be back. We need to go now." "Wait, what about Ivan? They will kill him?" "Lilly, we don''t have time, he is not worth our. Lives we need to go." "Landon, he is my mate, I can''t just leave him." "We don''t have a choice. I am your Alpha now. Let''s go now." I want to say no, but I can''t. He is my Alpha. As we are walking out of the safe room. I decide to shut Ivan in, hoping that he won''t be noticed, and he will heal and be able to escape. I don''t want to just leave him, but I need to know what is happening. As we go to walk downstairs, Landon puts his hand out and stops us. I then begin to hear voices. "Now that they know that we''re tracking them, we''re never going to be able to find them, you idiots can''t do anything. right, this was our only shot." "But sir, they don''t even know what they are. They''re not going to be able to hide from. Us, we will find them." Why are we so important? Why are they trying to capture us? What is the meaning of all of this happening? All these questions are running through my head. Will Landon be able to answer them? Not knowing our next move, how are we going to escape, there are people everywhere. Landon then looks back to me and I watch as his eyes go towards the window across from us. I figure that will be our escape. We walk as quiet as possible, trying not to be heard. When we get to the window, he then opens it slowly, not making a sound. Surprised that it didn''t even make a creek, but so relieved. Landon leans over to whisper in Jayden''s ear. "I''m going to shift, I want you to jump on my Back and hold on very tight." I watch as Landon shifts and Jayden crawls on to the top of his wolves back. I then shift into my wolf and watch Landon as he jumps out the window. I then follow. Without even thinking, I jump right after Landon, not realizing how high we were up. As my paws hit the ground, I''m so relieved that I didn''t stop to look, knowing I probably would have hesitated jumping out the window, knowing now how high we were.Original content from N?velDrama.Org. We then take off into the woods, shocked that we haven''t been seen. I run as fast as I can, and I''m still having trouble keeping up with Landon, wondering how he can run so fast and have Jayden on his back. He has to be scared, but from what is the question I''m asking myself.????? Chapter 68 Landon really hasn''t spoken since we escaped. We have been running ourselves ragged. I''m so tired, I''m uncertain how much more I can handle. We haven''t had over 2 hours of rest at a time. I do not know where he is taking us. I''m not even sure if he knows where we are going. Star hasn''tmunicated with me since we left Ivan. She is worried about our mate, and she begged me to stay, but I just couldn''t. Even though he is my mate, Landon and Jayden mean more to me than he ever could. Ivan is just a bond. I know that it may be for life, but it doesn''t mean I will ever love him. I watch as Jayden is starting to wake up. I watch him peek back at me and smile. His smile does something to me. It gives me hope that everything will be okay. I feel rxed and not so worried. Well, at least not at this moment, anyway. Knowing that this bond I have with Jayden is stronger than any mate bond will ever be.Property ? N?velDrama.Org. Suddenly, I feel a pain that shoots through my body and makes me stop instantly. My wolf falls to the ground. I then shift back to my human form. Being too malnutritioned from running for days without a prope meal. I''m too weak to stay in my wolf form. Tears flood my eyes, I then notice that my ankle is stuck in what looks like to be a bear trap. I struggle trying to get it open to get my ankle out, but there is no use. I mind link Landon" I''m in a trap, pleasee back and help me." As I''m waiting for what seems to be forever. I don''t see Landon in sight. Where the hell is he and why didn''t he say anything back. No, he wouldn''t just leave me here. I hear footstepsing towards me. I try harder to get this fucking trap off me, but I can''t. When the footsteps sound like they''re right next to me, I look and that''s when I see Jayden. Wondering where Landon is, I ask Jayden, "where is your daddy?" "Lilly, they attacked my daddy, and he told me to run, so I followed your scent." "No, they found us. We need to hurry. I need to get this off of me. Can you help me pull it open long enough to get my ankle out."? "Yes, I can do it, Lilly." We struggle together to hold the trap open, but once we get it open far enough, I pull my ankle out as fast as I can. Looking around for a ce to hide, not really sure where the hell we even are, doesn''t help. I make it to my feet, not being able to put pressure on my one leg, I stumble. Then Jaydenes over to help me. As we are walking, I''m not clear what has happened to Landon. Wondering if they are still out here and if they are watching Jayden. And I am just waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. I''m scared I can''t protect us. I''m so weak. If theye to fight, I will not stand a chance. I should have stood up to Landon and made him let us rest. Instead, now we are weak and an easy target to take down. God, he had to be filled with so much fear. He just wanted to get as far away as possible, but why is the question I need answered. What is causing Landon to be so reckless? I watch as I see Jayden prek up. "Stop, Lilly, this is where my daddy and I were before we got attacked." I look around. I see nothing. Not a trace of anyone being here. I want to be honest with Jayden, but he is a child and I need to protect him from all pain. Maybe he is mistaken that this isn''t the ce. Hoping I''m right, and he just simply became confused, I ask him "Jayden, are you sure that this is where you got attacked." I watch as confusion ovees him, his little hands running through his hair and him moving in circles. I can tell that he is unsure, but he wants to remember. Wanting to save his daddy from whatever is after him. That, in fact, is after all of us. I know it''s because of our abilities, that is what ismon among all of us. Jayden falls to his knees in disappear. "Lilly, I can''t remember. It looks like the ce, but I''m not sure these woods look all the same." I run up to him, ignoring the pain I am in, and I fall to my knees and wrap him into my arms. As he cries, I tryforting him. "It''s okay, Jayden, we will find him, I promise." Mad at myself for making a promise that I''m not sure if I can keep, but just trying to make him feel better. I just want him not to feel grief but knowing Landon would never just leave us behind that he had to be taken definitely not by his own will, he would never leave Jayden behind? I hear footstepsing, knowing there is no way I can protect us. As I look down at my ankle, it''s not healing, knowing it has never taken this long for me to heal. I''m stuck knowing we can''t run, and I can''t fight, wondering is this the end. I grab a hold of Jayden, so I can look into his eyes. "you need to go. Someone ising, and I can''t protect us." "No Lilly I''m not leaving what is a life if I''m all alone, I don''t mind going to see my mother in my death. I''m not leaving you ever again. If you die, we die together." I look at him with tearful eyes. He is so young but so smart. Wondering How he can be so brave at 5 years old knowing how wonderful of a man an Alpha he would be. Wishing that this can''t be it. Wanting to fight but not having any energy to even move, so we just wait as our fate is approaching us.??? Chapter 69 I close my eyes and ept our fate. I know it''s cowardly, but I am just so tired of fighting. Maybe it would just be better off. I feel it would be better not to give up mentally, but physically I just can''t handle anymore. As the footsteps sound right next to me, then stop. I then hear a voice that I have never heard before. Jayden wraps me into a bear hug. I put his head into my chest. Then a power that I have never felt before begins to run through my veins. I am not understanding where I am getting this strength from, but I then shift into my wolf. I block Jayden from them, not knowing wha I''m about to get myself into, but not caring. I will give my life to protect his. I feel like I am full of rage, and it''s hard to control as I let out a howl that is so infuriating that it pushes back the person who is closest to us. I notice that they aren''t shifted, not understanding why. I will not be taken easily, and I will do whatever is necessary to protect my cub. I stomp my front paw to show that I''m not taking any kind of mercy, and that''s when I see Landon rushing to get to me. Before Landon approaches me, a woman speaks. "It''s okay, we are not here to hurt you but help you." Then Landon''s mind links me." It''s true they''re here to help us, it''s ok Lilly, you can trust them." I be overwhelmed with emotion. Can I trust him? I did before and he left me down. I want to trust him but can I trust him with my life again? What about Jayden? I can''t sacrifice him? He is my life, the reason why I breathe. I want to trust Landon, I do, but what if it''s another trap? Lost in my thoughts, I then feel a little grip on my paw and I hear the sweetest voice. "It''s ok Lilly, we can trust daddy, He will neve let anyone hurt you ever again I promise." My body full of rage, wanting to protect him, is now starting to rx. Once I fully feel rxed, I began to feel weak and fall to the ground. Everything just goes ck. I feel that I fainted, but I can still hear what is happening around me but not being able to react to their words. "Lilly Lilly wake up, are you okay baby, please wake up." "Landon, she will be fine, she has. Fainted, let''s take her back to the home instead, and we will get her hooked up to some fluids to help strengthen her weak body." "I shouldn''t have ran her so ragged. I should have allowed us to rest properly, but I was too scared that they would capture us." "Landon, she will be fine, you did what you thought you had to. Do, she will be fine, I promise you." "Thank you mother, I have missed you so much, I''m so sorry I didn''t listen to you." "It''s ok my sweet boy, you were following your heart, your mate, that is what is expected of you."N?vel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive ? material. "Mother, why is father doing all this?" "For now, son, let''s focus on Lilly. Why don''t you carry her since she is exposed. We will head back and get her the help that she needs for now." I feel his firm hands pick up my lifeless body up. I then begin to tingle all over by his touch, wait is his touch affecting me but why. I thought only your mate can affect you this way. What is happening is Ivan dead. I would have felt it if he died, wouldn''t I have. "Jayden,e it''s ok we are safe, we need to get Lilly back, so we can help her." "Ok, daddy, you can''t hurt her again because I promised her that you wouldn''t hurt her ever again." "Jayden, I won''t ever hurt her again I promise now let''s hurry." I want to try to let my mind fall into a sleep. I feel so tired, but it''s like I''m too scared too. They walk back in silence. I have no idea where I''m going, which makes me nervous as fuck. I want to trust Landon, but I''m scared. He gave me to Ivan. What if he is giving me to these people? I want to wake up, I try to force my eyes to open, but I can''t. I have no control over my body. I''m so confused between wanting to sleep and fighting to wake up. Know matter how hard I try, I can''t keep my mind awake. I then fall into a deep slumber.??????? Chapter 70 LANDON''S POV Once we get back, I''m nervous, not knowing if they will find us here or not. My father is such a ruthless man, all he wants is power. The strings that he went through to make all this happen is beyond me. How could I have been so stupid? I should have known better, but I was just blinded by all of it. All of this time, my mother was right. I knew I was different from all the other wolves, but I just yed it off like I was no different. I just wanted to be like everybody else. I didn''t tell anybody that I was different, I didn''t even know what I was. I tried to ignore all that was happening. I was afraid of the truth, I chose to stay clear of it. My mother told me stories, but I never believed her. I thought she was crazy. Once I found my mate, I ignored my so-called powers and moved with her. When she was killed, my heart broke. I wanted to die too. I was at my lowest point, so I decided I wanted to die. I went to the top of wicked falls and jumped. Only to find I came right back to life.Property ? N?velDrama.Org. That''s when I realized that I was a healer. That''s when I knew I needed to protect my son at all cost. Because most likely he was one too and if all the stories that my mother told me were true, that is when I realized he would need my protection. I felt like such a coward, tempting to leave my son without parents. That''s when I vowed never to try to kill myself ever again. Know matter how much pain I felt from losing my mate. I had to be there for my son like I should have been there from the beginning, but I was so lost in my grief. I never went back to my mother''s. I was too embarrassed. I didn''t want to admit she was right. What I know now, I wish I would have, but it''s toote. My mother knew it all alone, but she did not tell me. It made me so angry that she kept it for me. She always said that she was protecting me from everyone else. I never knew what she met until now. She left me to make my own mistakes, but I wish that I wouldn''t have made them. She wanted me to find my own way and make my own choices. Wondering now if I had stayed, would things be Different, would my mate still be alive. I knew something was different about Lilly. I automatically felt a connection to her. It wasn''t like a mate connection. It was more than that, like we were the same. I was shocked, at first I''d felt nothing after my mate died. I wanted toe forward and say that I was the same, but I was too much of a coward. Even though my son was one too, I still stayed in silence. I''m still not sure of how everything happened. A lot of it makes no sense, the length they went to. My most trusted Friend betrayed me. When Dean tried to kill me and I came back, that''s when I knew they were just making sure that I was a healer. Because I was thest piece of their puzzle. Unfortunately, for them, their ns didn''t go as they wanted them to. Now that they know there is a male and female, they will want to breed us, so they can breed an army of healers, which would make them unstoppable. Being a healer is a gift, but unfortunately, it''s also a curse. It makes packs want to take over all the packs by making there''s invincible and by intimidating all other packs. To bow down to them so they can rule all the wolves and all the packs. It makes me sick, al the lives they sacrificed just for power. All of a sudden I hear Lilly''s voice, and it knocks me out of my thoughts. "Ivan, please stop hurting me. Please don''t mark me, you''ll kill my baby." I then begin to realize that she is having a nightmare, and I am to me for her nightmares. Regret ovees my body. I wish things were different and that I was not the cause of her pain. Hoping and praying that she will be able to forgive me for all that I have done wrong to her. I know I don''t deserve it, But I''m hoping she shows me mercy. I don''t want to wake her, so I hold on to her hand. Once my hand is connected to hers, I can feel her body rx just a little. Then, realizing that my touch affects her just as much as her touch affects me. Not understanding the connection we have, but knowing that there''s something there. I lean into her, brushing her hair out of her face, And I whisper into her ear. "Lilly, I promise you I will never hurt you again. Just pleasee back to me." I''m terrified that Lilly is not going to want to wake up. After all the hell that she has been through the past couple of months. Why would she even want to wake up? As a healer, if your mental stability iscking, we can lie in aa state for years. Basically, living in our own fantasy world, we create. I need to get some rest, but I can''t leave her just in case she wakes. I want to be here. I need to exin all that has happened. I need to tell her how sorry I am for all I have done. I will do whatever I need to do to gain her forgiveness. Knowing that the one thing I never lied to her about was loving her, I couldn''t help but to love her. Deciding it''s time to give in, I then rest my head on her hand and decide to shut my eyes just for a little bit. Chapter 71 It has been busy, and Lily still has not woken up. I''m starting to get concerned, even though my mother is telling me that her body needs rest and once she is fully rested, she will wake up. I feel that all of this is my fault, sometimes I wish that we had never met. Wondering if all this pain that I cost her would have never happened. I know that I have so much that I need to make up to her. I''m not even sure if she''s going to allow me to even be in her life. I can''t believe I was so dumb. I am still trying to forgive myself for all that I have done to her. All I want is for her to be OK. I know that we all have a long road in front of us. Figuring out all that we need to do just to be safe. This ce is so hidden, even if they doe look for us here, it''s like we are camouged, unable to be seen. Sometimes I feel this ce makes no sense. It''s almost like it''s a magical area that all the outside world is just sealed off to it. I worry as I watch mothers ying with their children. I''m afraid that we will only bring them danger. I don''t want to be the cause of any more innocent wolves being killed. I''m uncertain of how to even go about all of this. How to gain our freedom and not be targeted. We are such a rare breed of a wolf that everyone is going to want us. I wish I would have been up front with Lilly in the beginning. I think that maybe we could have dealt with all of this together. Instead, I tricked her and used her, just like everybody else did. As healers, we are attracted to the broken-hearted. We do what is necessary to make them happy, to make them feel wanted. I almost felt like I used Lilly knowing what I had to do to have her, but fuck, I craved her body so much and felt her unhappiness. Which made me even want to please her even more. I hated watching her with Sam and Ivan, but I knew that she only sought them because of their pain. I could feel their pain and their misery, and it made me feel sorry for them. So, I knew she only focused on making them feel good and that is why she was with them. I maybe just hoped that she had no feelings for them because I preferred to have all her feelings for me. I know there is so much for me to make up for. I''m willing to do whatever is necessary to get her forgiveness. I will make it up to her for the rest of my life if I need to. I just know now I won''t let her go so easily ever again. If she finds it in her heart to forgive me. I am never going to be afraid to love her again. It''s time for me to go, as I grab onto Lilly''s hand and kiss it. I lean down, and I whisper in her ear, "I love you Lilly, I will be back. I need to go handle some things with the pack. Pleasee back to us. We need you. I''ll be back as soon as I can, my love."Property ? N?velDrama.Org. I hate leaving her, but I need to do whatever I need to do to make sure we are all safe. I have been walking the grounds to make sure there are no other wolves in the area. I''m shocked that I haven''t seen any other wolves, I mean, don''t get me wrong, I am relieved. That there have been no spottings. It also makes me nervous as well because I feel that something ising. I just don''t know what it is. When I get outside, I shift into my wolf and begin my run. I love the way I feel when I freely run. I always enjoyed running. I try to focus as much as I can on my surroundings. As the wind blows, I try to focus on my snout, inhaling all the surrounding smells. Trying to detect anything that is unfamiliar. Thankfully, there isn''t anything to be concerned about. I''m afraid to feel safe to let my guard down. Terrified that I will miss something and make a mistake and that will cause someone their life. There already has been so much loss. I don''t want anyone else to get hurt. I''m still not sure how I''m going to tell Lilly that her family''s death wasn''t an ident. That it was a part of a n all along. I''m nervous about how she will react. That''s why I''m not certain if I''m going to tell her the truth. Sometimes the truth is best not to be told.???????? Chapter 72 LILLY''S POV I am so weak I can''t move, when I open my eyes all I see is ck, I be confused. I then have trouble knowing if my eyes are open or shut. I look around, trying to find any light, but nothing. What the fuck is going on? I go to move, but I can''t move. It''s like I''m paralyzed. I hear a voice. It sounds like a female voice, but I''m not sure who it is. I never heard this voice before. Who could this be and what do they want with me. I can tell the voice is getting closer. I start to be nervous trying to make out what she is saying, but I can''t. I start to be angry with myself for not being able to understand what she is saying. I open my mouth to scream, what do you want, but nothinges out. It''s like I''m mute.Original content from N?velDrama.Org. What the fuck is happening? I have no idea. Was I captured? Oh my God, Jayden, what if they attacked us, and now we''re being held captive? I be so frustrated trying to break free, trying to bring my body back from being paralyzed, but nothing I can''t move. What if Jayden''s being tortured as we speak, and I can''t save him? "Stop, everything is OK, You are just simply sleeping, and your body is recovering." "Who are you, where am I?" I ask in desperation, wanting to know what this woman wants with me. All of a sudden, the ck turns to light. I then realize my eyes were open. As the bright light burns my eyes, making me close them. I begin to blink, trying to adjust to the bright light. Once my vision bes clear, I then see a woman, but her back is towards me. "I betrayed him, yes, I was his mate by chance. But his father came to me after he found out and made me an offer that I couldn''t refuse. I yed him so well, it was so easy. Then I fall in love with him and Jayden came along. They became my life. So, I convinced Landon to create his own pack, and we left. Hoping that leaving his father''s pack would be enough for his father, but it wasn''t. He wanted to make me pay for my betrayal, so he wanted to take what was most important to me. I was terrified that Jayden would make a sound. I prayed he wouldn''t, when they couldn''t find him. They killed me instead.¡± Then I realize the woman is Landon''s mate, Jayden''s mother. She had some part in this too. How far does all this go back? I don''t even know what to say to her. What did she want so badly that it was wroth, losing her mate and child? "I ask her why does his father want to kill him so badly?" "That wasn''t the deal the deal was for me to give him our firstborn child. I thought it would be okay, I could always have another. When it came down to it, I couldn''t give him Jayden, I loved him too much. I''m s ashamed of what I did, but I need you to wake up and protect my son." "You promised Jayden to Landon''s father and that is the reasoning behind all this is your fault, how could you do this."? "I was unaware that healers even existed when I found out why they wanted him and what they were going to do to him. I tried to get out of it, and that''s why we left. But there was no escaping it he was too determined." "Did you tell Landon what was going on." "No I didn''t, I thought I was protecting him, just like he thinks he is protecting you by not telling you what really happened to your family." "My family died in a car ident, it was an ident." "Nothing is identally when ites to healers, there''s reasoning behind everything that happens." "What do mean no it was ident, you don''t know anything about my family? Your lying they can''t be dead because of me." "It''s not your fault, it''s all about power and taking over the werewolves." "No, you said it''s the firstborn child, my brother and I were twins. So, he should have survived too." "Why do you think you all were together they waited, once they got the opportunity they took it knowing it was easier for them to figure out which one of you was a Healer to try to kill you both at the same time leaving you alone and vulnerable? But you were strong and figured out a way to escape them." I''m not sure what to think, am I the cause of my parent''s death. This ability that is supposed to be a gift is more of a curse. It has taken everything from me. I begin to think what am I suppose to do then it hits me and I know exactly what I need to do protect what''s most important to me Jayden. I need to fight for him to have a better life. I will fight and take control of all werewolves. Then they won''t dear touch him. And if they try, they will be killed by no one else than me. "I Will protect Jayden, he is what has kept me going this whole time. I hate that you had involvement in all this. I will not tell Landon or Jayden your involvement, it would hurt them. But don''t think it is a favor to you, it''s a favor for them." ¡°Just remember, the power in you is remarkable, and you will find it when you need it the most. But for now, you need to WAKE UP WAKE UP NOWWWW. As I''m trying to bring myself back. I can hear her yelling at me to wake up. But how, I''m not sure how to do it. I then begin to demand my wolf to wake up, she tries to coward away, but I overpower her and demanding us to wake up then I open eyes.??????? Chapter 73 As I am looking around the room, I am surprised to see Landon by my bedside, holding my hand. What the fuck is this all that he has done? He thinks he can touch me. I pull my arm out from underneath him, watch as he jumps awake. "Oh my God Lilly you''re awake." He goes to hug me, but I shout out to him "don''t you dare touch me."N?vel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive ? material. As I''m looking at him, I can see the disappointment on his face. I''m trying to ignore it. I am so sick and tired of everyone causing me pain. I am taking charge of myself and not allowing it to happen ever again. feel bad that his mate betrayed him, but that is not my problem. My issue right now is protecting Jayden and taking over the werewolves oh and finding out who killed my family, so I can make them suffer for what did. "Lilly, please, I''m sorry for all that has happened. I know that it will take a lot for you to forgive me, but please find it in your heart." "Are you fucking kidding me, Landon? You think that you deserve my forgiveness? I don''t owe you anything. Forgiving you is like me saying everything that you did to me was ok. You used me by making me love you. You are just like your mate." "Lilly, I know what I did was wrong, but you don''t need to bring my mate into this. She''s dead, and she can''t defend herself." I want to tell him the truth about his mate. I want to hurt him, but I can''t. I want to be heartless, but it''s not me. I struggle because I still love him, but I won''t dare let him see it. I will never let him hurt me again the way he did. I am tired of falling for all their tricks. I can''t do this anymore. I look at him. "How well do we know anybody in this world, Landon? I thought I knew you, but it turned out I was wrong about you. What is real and what isn''t I''m not even sure if I know anymore." "Lilly, I''m not asking you to forgive me today, not even next week. I just want a chance to earn your forgiveness. I promise you from this day on I will never betray you ever again." I can see the desperation in his face. I just want to put my arms around him and squeeze him as tight as I can. I am not a resentful person, but I want to be I''m so tired of getting hurt. I want to tell him that everything would be OK, that we will work this out. I can''t this time. I don''t want it to be so easy for him thinking that he can do whatever he wants, and I will just forgive him. "Landon, I don''t want to talk about us any longer. We have a lot more to worry about, don''t you think?" "Yes Lilly but my only concern is you." How could he say that his only concern is me when he fed me to the wolves, the devil himself? That makes me so angry my whole body turns hot. I want to scream on the top of my lungs. His words just shoot right through me and all I feel is anger. His concern is about me for giving him one. It should be about how we are going to save everyone. "Landon, I''m not ready to forgive you. I don''t know what you want me to say. I shall not be your concern. I don''t need you. I can take care of myself. Right now, our concern should only be for those that will need us the most. Instead of theming after us, we are going to go after them and take over the werewolves." "Wait what Lilly we should not go after them, they are too strong of a. pack they will kill all of us." "Landon, we have no other choice. If we do not try to defeat them, we will never be free, and eventually, they will capture us and take what they want." "You don''t know that we need to protect ourselves and just keep running. They will never find us then." "Quit being a coward. We need to save everybody, not just. Ourselves, you are selfish wolf that only cares about himself." "Lilly, how dare." I cut him off before he even finishes his sentence. I''m so angry at him, I shout "How dare I what I''m so sick and tired of you."? "Lilly, I''m your Alpha. You need to respect. " "You are nothing to me. I am my own Alpha." "Lilly please, we can''t endanger Jayden." He knows that Jayden is my weakness. I don''t want to endanger Jayden. I want to save him. A life of running isn''t going to save him, it''s Going to make him grow tired. I don''t know why Landon has to be in control all the time. I don''t want to disobey my alpha, but I have no choice. If he is not going to do what needs to be done then I Will step up and do what is necessary. "Landon, all I think about is Jayden. This is not going to be the life that he deserves to live. He deserves to be free and to make his own choices about what he wants. I know that you''re scared to fail, but we need to fight back. An enough is enough. All that has been done to us needs toe to an end they will never stop until they capture us. What will happen when they do, and we are defenseless and have no way of escaping." "I am an alpha. I am not scared of anything. This isn''t your choice to make Lilly. He is my son. I will protect him. You are not his mother." "You will not be able to hide forever, Landon. They will find you. What happens when they take Jaden as well. We need to fight back before it''s toote." "How are we going to fight back nobody will go up against them? Everyone is afraid of his pack. He has taken out more packs than any other pack has." "Don''t you think it''s time that we start protecting our own kind before there aren''t any of us left." I can tell that my words are getting through to him by the confusion in his eyes. He doesn''t want anyone to realize that he is afraid. I know there is always that chance of failing, but I feel it in my bones that this is what needs to be done. That I will defeat them and run the wolves. "Lilly, we don''t have the resources to protect all those that need are protection." "Landon, then we find the resources we can''t just continue to run. We will not be living, we will be hiding." I then hear a female voice that I heard before. "She is right Landon and I know that it is scary, but there isn''t any other choice. We either fight or we hide, but eventually, they will find us and take what they want There are so many others that have suffered it is time that someone fights back." "Mother, you know this is a suicide mission. There is no defeating them." "Oh Landon, you don''t even know your own power, my sweet boy. You will be able to defeat them once you are trained." "Landon, don''t you see it is time that we fight back and protect Everyone we can do this." "Lilly, there''s only two of us. How are we going to be able to do this?" "I don''t know, but how are we supposed to know anything if we don''t try. We need to try, so Jayden will be able to live a life that he deserves." "Fine, I hope you two are right about this that we will win the fight.¡± "There is no doubt in my mind we will win."??? Chapter 74 As I watch Landon''s mother leave the room, so I can shower. They offered to help, but I want to be able to do it on my own. I stumble to the bathroom as my arms reach out to either side of the walls as I catch myself from falling. I do not feel pain, just weakness like I''ve beenying forever. I need to gain my strength. Training is going to start. I will need to be prepared. I already talked Landon into this. It must be ready when it starts, so I will have to pull myself together. As I walk into the bathroom I turn the water on. As I watch the hot water build steam into the bathroom, I take a deep breath as the steam fills my lungs. I begin to cough. Surprised that I''m weaker than what I thought, knowing I may need some time to recover properly. I then take my hand and touch the water. I jumped back, not knowing how hot the water was. It felt like it burned my skin. I look at my hand, it''s all red. I then turn some cold water on to cool it down just a tad. Nervous to test it again, I slowly put my hand in to feel the water relieved, as I feel that it is at a perfect temperature. I then get into the shower and just let the water pour over my nakedness. The water feels so good, I can feel my muscles automatically rxing. I begin to wash my hair and my body, then I just stand under the water and let it rinse the dirt off my skin. I can''t help myself, as my hands travel down in-between my breasts to my navel. I can feel my pussy pulsating. I can''t help but travel to my pussy. As I put my fingers in between my pussy lips, I began to rub. I can feel my pussy bing wet and wetter. I can''t help but moan out in pleasure. As I move my fingers faster and faster. Wanting that release more than anything. I don''t stop until my entire body stiffens and I scream out in pleasure. Fuck yes, as I am trying to catch my breath. Loving how much relief I feel. Feeling so much better, I''m ready to get out of the shower as I the shower as I finish up. I shut the water off, reach for my towel for my towel and begin to dry myself. I feel relieved all over, and then I begin to think That I finally got through to Landon. But am I able to trust him? To be honest, I''m not so sure.N?vel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive ? material. I can at least say that I warned him it may be hard for him to ept, but Landon will have toe to ept what is toe up. I just have to grow to trust him that he will be by my side. I hate that I needed help to convince him from his mother, but he still epted. I know that he is scared. I would be lying if I said I wasn''t too. But I will not dare show any kind of weakness. All that has happened, I''m still trying to just get through it. I think maybe finding out what really happened to my parents and making those that were involved pay and suffer will help me find closure. It makes me sick that losing my family was part of a n to gain control. I''d rather have thought it was an ident to realize it was a part of the n. I don''t want to be a part of their n, I want us to make our own n of life, not having to follow others. But following ourselves and actually making the world a better ce for all, powerful or not. To protect ou kind, to keep them from extinction. Knowing that their n did not go the way they wanted, thanks to me. I want all wolves to have respect, no matter their title. We are all family. We should care about one another instead of fighting. Power can be the result of so much evil that it''s terrifying. Hoping in the end that we will prevail and save everyone. I try so hard to be strong sometimes I do feel strong but other times I just feel like I''m falling apart. I do not allow people to see that side that is crying for help. I feel that I have to be strong, no matter what, that can''t disappoint anyone. That if any kind of weakness shows that they will take advantage. I need to just stop and just get on with it as I snap out of my thoughts, I need to do all of this for the safety of everyone. But in a way, it''s for my own selfishness, the revenge of my family''s. I guess you can say it just puts the cherry on top of a cake or Sunday, whatever you want to call it. I want them to pay for what they did. Not only to me, but the life that my family was meant to have. As I''m standing naked, I then notice that Landon is in the room, God. How much I would love to feel his hands on my body. His touch does something to me that no one else''s touch has ever done. It makes me feel happy, no matter all the pain I have been through. He just stares and says nothing as I approach him. I want to wrap my arms around him, but I don''t. I need to resist. I look into his beautiful golden brown eyes. "Can you get me a towel, please." "Lilly, you are so beautiful." I watch as he turns around and walks to the closet and reaches for a towel. As he watches me walking towards him, I can tell that he wants me as much as I want him. To be honest, I want him more than anything, But I know I can''t have him. He has suffered as much pain as I have. I believe that healers endure the most, for what reason I do not know. He hands me the towel, I take it and wrap it around my body. I want to ravish him more than anything. Just to feel his touch all over me, but knowing I''m only going to be disappointed in the end. So, I don''t act on how I feel. I look over to the bed and see a nicely folded pile of clothes sitting on my bed. I look over to Landon. "Can you please excuse me, so I can get dressed?" "Of course I''ll be waiting outside for you. We need to start preparing for what ising."?? Chapter 75 We have been training for days. It seems like we have been working ourselves to the bone. I can''t help but to watch Landon as he is helping train others to protect themselves. I watch as he moves in all direction''s, god he looks so fucking good. I began remembering his taste on how yummy he is. God, what it would be like feeling his hands on my body. I miss his touch. I hate that he makes me feel something that no one else can, even my mate. Not like I really know what true love feels like, I guess. Then again, I know that I shared true love with my family. But the love that you share with your partner is different, that is the one I have never experienced. But what I do know is that Landon''s touch was memorizing. I think that''s why I fail in love with him so easily. I really wish things were different, that he didn''t betray me. Now all I feel is hatred and wanting revenge. I''m trying not to be that kind of person, but it''s hard. He allowed Ivan to kill my baby. How can I forgive him? He set me up with the devil himself. As I see Landon, he looks back at me noticing I''m staring at him, I hurry and turn away. I hate that he saw me. I hear footsteps as I turn and I see him. I''m not sure what to say to him. There is so much I want to say, but I just can''t. What kind of person would that make me, forgiving him for doing the unimaginable? ''Hey Lilly, are you enjoying watching me?" He smirks at me. I know he is flirting. A part of me likes it, but the other part of me sets on fire. "No, I wasn''t watching you. I was watching those that you are training to see how their progress ising along." His face frowns with disappointment. "Oh, they''re getting better. They were already pretty good when I started, but I was able to show a couple of pointers on how to defend themselves in different positions." "Good, I''m happy it''sing along, do you think that we have a chance of defeating them?" "I guess it all just depends on if we are prepared when we are attacked. I have been noticing that they are normally attacking when the packs are at their weakest point." "Wait, how would they know when other packs are at their weakest point? I wonder if there is a link, maybe a spy, that enters the packs to watch and wait until they can be defeated." "Lilly, how would we ever figure that out." "Well, I''m thinking that Dean was the spy in your pack. I heard them call him boss." "So you think that there is a trader in this pack." "I''m not sure, but it makes sense, doesn''t it?" "If that is true, Lilly, then they already know where we are, and they''re just waiting to strike." "Then I guess we need to stay on our toes and not get distracted. We need to watch the pack members and see if there is anyone acting stranger than usual." "I''m not familiar with this pack, how am I going to know if anyone is acting strange?" "Your mother, she has been with this pack for a long time. She probably is the best person to ask." "You''re right, I don''t know why I didn''t think about asking her." I stopped Landon before he went to say another word as I see Jayden walking up. I don''t want Jayden to worry about anything. He is too young. I just want him to be a child and enjoy life right now when it''s peaceful knowing it''s not going to be this way for long. As I get down to his level, I say yfully, "Hi Jayden, what are you getting yourself into? Are you being good?" "Hey Lilly, I was justing up to tell you and daddy that lunch is ready. Could we all eat together?" "Of course that is OK with me as long as it''s OK with your dad." I notice as Landon''s face brightens up, "yeah that''s great. Come eat lunch with us, yourpany would be nice." Jayden happily skips over to meughing. It makes my heart fill up with so much love. "Yay, I am so excited, we''re finally spending some time together." He says as he''s smiling. I want to say something to Jayden,T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. to tell him not to get the wrong idea. I just can''t, he''s so. happy, why not let him be happy thinking whatever he wants to think. I''m not sure how long it''s been since I''ve seen his face with so much happiness. These past couple months have been so rough, it''s time for some kind of enjoyment. So, why not pretend for today? So, he could have even an ounce of happiness. I wish I could give him more, I want to give him more, but I just don''t know how. I want to forget all that has happened and maybe someday I will, but right now, it''s too fresh in my mind to forget. Maybe I''m ming the wrong person and all the me should go to Ivan. Or does all the me go on to this pack that is trying to capture us? Knowing that when Ivan came back, it was like he was apletely different wolf. Why does everything have to be so damnplicated? Why can''t things just work out instead of blowing up? I need to stop this and try to enjoy myself for once, so I decide to put these thoughts in the back of my mind. As we are walking to where et Landon and Jayden are staying. I''m not sure where that is, since A haven''t been over at his ce yet. That''s when I see Landon''s mother on the porch waving to us. I giggle to myself he is staying with his mom. How cute he is, so different from other Alphas not caring about his title. Most Aphals have to have the best of everything. Maybe that is why I can''t just shake him off, no matter what he did, there is still a part of me that wants to ravish him.???? Chapter 76 As I walk into Landon''s mother''s house, I look at her walls and all I see is history. Most of the things I don''t even understand, but my guess is once she found out what Landon was, she wanted to know all that she could, so she could protect him. I know that I would do the same thing for Jayden. I would go to the ends of the Earth for him. As I get closer to the writings that are on the wall, I don''t understand what they say. They''re in a differentnguage. I want to ask, but I don''t want to seem nosey. I want to make sense of all of this, but I don''t know how. "I tried to figure out everything I possibly could about healers, but the problem I came across was nobody knew thenguage of the writings." It was like she read my mind. She knew what I was thinking. I look at her and smile. "I wish that all of this would be over, that we wouldn''t have to fight. We could just live a normal life." "My dear, you will never live a normal life, you will fight until there is no more fight left in you. But when it''s all done and said with, you will provide others with freedom to live without fear.¡± I be angry and then sad all at once hearing her say about giving others the opportunity to live without fear. "Lilly, I know that this is a sensitive subject for you have lost so much, but you are going to be what saves us all." I look at her confused, wondering if Landon has spoken to her about what our n Will be. Honestly, I don''t even know what our n is, but maybe they have talked about it. I watched as Landon''s mother walked to the kitchen. I walk over to the dining room and approach Landon. He seems surprised I say to him, "so did you and your mothere up with a n? I would love to hear it." "What are you talking about? I didn''t talk to my mother about it. I thought it was best not to worry her." I can see the confusion on his face. I know that he''s telling me the truth. He never talked to her. Then what did she mean that I would be the one to save them all. I figured it was just me wanting to fight back and talking Landon into wanting to save everyone. Does she really believe that I will be the one that saves everyone? Am I really capable of something like that? I snap out of my thoughts when a smell ovees me that makes me drool. I watch as Landon''s motheres walking out of the kitchen holding a chicken. Oh my God, it looks so delicious, I can''t remember thest time that I had a meal. That smells so yummy. I''m surprised as I watch Landon. He hurries over to his mother to take the chicken out of her hands.Property ? N?velDrama.Org. "Wow mom this looks delicious, let me help. you must be heavy." "Thank you, Landon, but I''m more than capable of carrying a chicken to our table, but if you insist." "I know that you are a capable mother, but yes, I do insist." "Wow, this smells delicious." It''s been such a long time since I had a home cooked meal. As the smell reaches me, my stomach begins to grow. I can feel my mouth starting to water. You would think that I haven''t eaten for a long time, eway I''m acting. As Landon puts the chicken on the table, walk around and grab my seat? Not wanting to waste any time. As we are passing the food around, filling our tes. I can see the joy on everyone''s faces. It almost makes me sad, remembering what it felt like with my family. I don''t want to forget them, but I also don''t want to be sad. Making new memories without them is just so difficult. Especially when everything reminds me of them. "Lilly Lilly is everything alright? You look upset." As I snap out of my thoughts, I smile, "yes everything is great. I''m sorry, As we gather to eat, it just reminds me of my family, that''s all." "Lilly, I''m sorry about what happened to your family but just be happy that you have memories of them." She''s right. I should be grateful for the time that was given to me to be with them. Even though I want to be selfish and take more. I brush off my negative thoughts. As I take my first bite of chicken, I say out loud, "wow, like, wow, this is delicious." I feel like a fool talking with my mouth full. Hoping I didn''t spit food at anyone. I wanted to thank her for this delicious meal and for being so weing, but I''m too embarrassed. I don''t even know her name wanting to ask, but I feel like I should know it. Before I know it, my te is empty. Wanting more, but not wanting to seem like a hog. I don''t ask or take more. I don''t want to overeat and then feel sick the rest of the night. So, I decide not to and let my stomach settle with all I have just eaten. I watch Landon as he talks with his mother, this is the side of him that I have never seen. To be honest, I''m thinking it''s going to be the side that I love the most about him. He seems like apletely different person when he''s around his mother. It''s almost like she brings the best out of him. I stopped myself. I don''t want to feel anything for him. I know it''s going to be hard for me because deep down! know I have feelings for him. But his feelings for me, they were not real, they were all just pretend. So, must not fall for his tricks again. heed to be strong and not let my heart get in the way. Chapter 77 I''m woken up from a dead sleep from what sounded like an explosion. Hoping I was having a bad dream. When I hear it again, I jump, knowing this isn''t a dream. I get out of bed In a hurry and I get dressed frantically, not caring what I''m putting on just so I have something on. As I open the door from my cabin, all I see is mes. I can hear screaming from pack members, as my heart sinks to the ground. I race out to see what I can do, but when I realize there is no battle happening. I''m confused to what the fuck is happening. I see as my pack members run, but there''s no one chasing them. Then something catches my eye as I look up into the sky. It almost seems to be shooting stars. Only wishing it really was, in reality, its burning arrows. I be Angry, I try to figure out what direction they areing from. But I can''t tell because they''reing from every direction possible. I be scared, not knowing what to do or how to protect anyone. I watch as fire ising from the sky. I get jolted out of my thoughts when an arrownds right in front of me. I stumble backwards, almost fall to my butt, then I feel arms catch me. The relief ovees me when I see Landon and Jayden. I''m so happy that they are OK. "Lilly, are you OK?" I don''t even know what to say. I mean, I guess physically I''m fine. But emotionally, I''m not as I watch pack members'' homes burning to the ground. I Wish I could have prevented all of this. Knowing that it is our fault, we brought danger here. As my body begins to shake, Landon is repeating himself, asking if I''m OK. "Yes Landon, I''m fine physically, but mentally I don''t know could we have prevented this by not being here? Would they have still been attacked if it wasn''t for us."? "Lilly,e on, we have no time. We need to go. There is a hidden spot within the pack that they all go to. When there is an attack that no one out of the pack knows about." "What if there is a spy in this pack, and they''re just waiting for us toe into their trap?" As I am speaking I see a meing right for Landon and Jayden. Fear ovees me and that''s when my life changes forever. As I raised my hand up, I watched As the arrows fell to the ground, shocked. I don''t stop there as I watch more arrowsing towards the pack. I raise my hands and simply just wave of my hand and imagine all of them to disappear, then watch as the arrows are no longer. I look over to Landon and I can see him just stunned, not knowing what to say. Now I know why she said that I will be the one that saves us all because I truly have a power within me. As I look closer to the sky, I can see the arrows being lit. That''s when I focus and watch as they all go up in mes. I try not to break as I can hear those that are in mes screaming. Knowing that I am the one who has done it. Hoping that I can be OK with it because I was trying to protect us all. I close my eyes trying to block out the screams, I then hear a voice saying what makes one life more valuable than another, Bad or good. My heart warms when I realize it''sProperty ? N?velDrama.Org. star, my wolf that has blocked me out but now has spoken. Even though her words cut me like a knife. I''m still d that she has spoken to me. I then feel a hand grip onto my shoulder. When I open my eyes, that''s when I see Landon. I wait for him to say something, but he says nothing. I can''t hold it in any longer as tears start to run down my cheeks. I look at Landon and then say, "what happened? What have I done? I killed all of them. What kind of person does that make me?" "A person who saved all of us, Lilly, you are an amazing person with amazing power." As my face digs into his chest and his big arms wrap around me, I squeeze him as tight as I can, letting him hold me, wanting his touch not wanting to let go. So overwhelmed by all that has happened, especially killing my own kind. I wanted to figure out another way, but they didn''t give me enough time to. Instead, they tried to attack and capture us and it didn''t go as they nned. As Landon squeezes me tight, the warmth of his bodyforting me clear to my soul, he then whispers" Lilly you had no other choice. They would have captured us and killed. them you saved us all." I left up my head from his chest and I look into his eyes. "You don''t think I''m a monster." "Lilly you could never be a monster, you care too much about others. You Could have just taken off and protected yourself, but instead you took care of all of us, and now we''re safe." I then feel a little hand grab a hold of my hand, I look to see Jayden, it makes me forget what I have done as I wrap my arms around, him giving him a hug. "Lilly sometimes we have to do things that we would never do, but we need to do What is necessary to protect those that can''t protect themselves." "Jayden, you''re such a strong little boy that has to grow up way too fast. I am so proud of you. I can''t believe you''re the one that is giving me words of advice, thank you." "It''s because I learned from the strongest wolves." "Landon, you know that this is not over, you know it''s just the beginning." "Then I guess it''s time to get prepared for what ising next."?? Chapter 78 Now it''s time to figure out what is next. Do we rebuild this pack where it stands or should we let it where it burned down. To be honest I want to leave this ce. All this ce reminds me of is what I lost. Even though some of my happiest memories are here. I think I can say I''m finally ready to move on. I''m ready to start my life without my family. I know that it has taken me a long time to get to this point but I''m ready now. I''m not even sure who the leader of this pack is. I don''t even think they have one. The pack is having a meeting to decide on its future. It has been a week since the attack. It has been so quiet. Those that were injured are finally healing with the power of Landon and me. We healed all those that we were able to. There were innocent lives lost but their lives will be celebrated. We are having a memorial for themter on today. I want to speak up to remember those that I killed also. I know that they attacked us and killed innocent pack members but they are also werewolves our own kind. That should mean something I know that most will disagree. I just hope maybe I can convince them. All I ever wanted was revenge on those that hurt my family. But I figured out that revenge only brings me pain. I hate the fact that my family had to die because of others wanting power. But I can''t change what is already done. I want to make them pay. But if that means losing myself too is it really worth it. I have already lost so much I have been unhappy for so long it is time for me to put the past behind me and move forward. If that means forgiving those that hurt me I need to just do it or I''m never going to be able to live a happy life. I''m always just going to be angry all the time. I''m so tired of fighting. I want things to be norma again. I want to get out of this ce and start to live life to the fullest. Before I was scared but now I''m not scared to live without my family. I know that I can do it and I know that I can be happy. I hear a knock At my cabin door. I jump it, scaring me not expecting it. I then go to check and see who it is. I see that it is Landon. I open the door "What do you want, Landon?" "I just wanted to check up on you and make sure that you were okay." I don''t let him say another word as I grab ahold of him around the cor of his shirt and I pull him into the cabin. I can feel my pussy getting wet wanting his cock in between my legs. I then throw him up against the wall and begin kissing his neck as my kisses lead down his chest. Making my way to his hard throbbing cock as I insert it in my cock hungry mouth I gag from his length going down my throat. He then grabs me by my hair and begins mouth fucking me as his moans are making my pussy crave his cock even more. I then feel his warm liquid feel my mouth allowing it to go down my throat loving his taste. He then picks me up with his strong hands and throws me onto the bed. He wastes no time as he rips my pants off. I watch as he smiles when he notices I don''t have any panties on. He then settles his face in between my legs fuck I can''t help but shiver from all the pleasure I''m receiving as he licks my pussy I squirm he stops me from moving as he then sps on to my thighs making me unable to move. God, he is making me feel so fucking good I don''t ever want it to end. As my fingers grip on to the bedsheets, I scream out not being able to hold it in any longer as I have an orgasm My entire body goes limp and I can''t move. Next thing I know he then flips me onto my stomach and arches my ass up and slips hisrge cock in my already juicy pussy and begins fucking me. My already pulsating pussy tightens once again as I have another orgasm. He grips on my ass cheeks as he begins to pound me even harder. I can tell he is getting ready to cum. He then pulls out and I feel his warm liquid cover my back. I then copse onto my stomach as he copses next to me. I can''t help but just smile. I roll onto my back not even sure what to say to him and I then go on to my side to face him. I can tell he is unsure how to react to me, also. We just stay silent. I then put my head on his chest and justy with him and simply just say nothing. No matter how hard I want to hate Landon, I can''t he does something to me. That just makes me need him more than anything in this life. I know that he did something unforgiving but I can''t help wanting all of him. I can''t hold on to the past if fm ever going to have a future. No matter the pain he caused me, I love him. I''m not sure if I can y this game of not wanting him any longer. I look up to him and break the silence. Scared of what I''m about to say but I just say it. "Landon I love you I''m tired of pretending that I don''t when I know I am still in love with you still." He smiles "Lilly I love you too. I''m sorry for everything I did to you. I will never hurt you again, I promise." "I know because if you ever hurt me again I will kill you." I smile at him and jump up from the bed and go to pick up my clothes to get dressed. "Get up we need to figure out what is best for all of us as a pack on what we are going to do. The memorial starts soon and we need a n."???????Property ? N?velDrama.Org. Chapter 79 I feel more powerful now than I ever have now that I let myself feel for Landon and forgive him. I know that this will help make the right choice on what needs to be done with the pack. I just hope that Landon and I will agree on whatever is best for the pack. I still am curious why the pack still hasn''t named Landon as the Alpha there really isn''t anyone else that is more capable of keeping them safe than Landon God I hope they don''t make a dumb decision. I feel a strong-arm wrap around my waist. "Hey, Beautiful I''m going to go and get Jayden and get ready for the memorial." "Wait, I thought we were going to talk about what will be best for the pack." "Lilly, it''s starting rather soon, and I need to make sure Jayden is ready. Can we finish thister please." "I guess I just wanted to have a n going in just in case the pack is in a dark ce and just want revenge." "Lilly it will be okay we will get our revenge you can count on that but let''s remember those that we lost first." "Revenge isn''t what I seek, Landon, we need toe up with something else. I am tired of all this fighting, aren''t you?" "Lilly, we have to avenge those we cannot let them get away with it. Don''t you think it would show weakness on our part as a pack? "Maybe it shows strength as we forgive Those that hurt us. There is no doubt that we will be able to destroy them. I am just wondering if it''s worth it." "What do you mean if it''s worth it they have hurt everybody around us, they''ve killed our loved ones you don''t find that enough reason to hurt them back." "Please Landon don''t get upset with me, it''s just I''m tired of all the violence I don''t want this to be my life." "If we don''t fight back there''s not going to be life for anyone." I know that I upset him as I watch as he storms out of my bedroom. I feel sorry that we don''t agree, but there has to be a time when enough is enough. I''m just tired of all this fighting As we remember those tha we have lost over and over again because of the battles just noting to an end. I hate that he''s not understanding me and seeing where I aming from.N?vel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive ? material. I decided to go shower before the memorial. I''m not sure what I was thinking about sleeping with Landon was the right move. I would like to think it was, but now I''m not sure If it should have happened. I know that I wanted it more than anything but was it the right decision. I then go turn the faucet on as I let the water warm. I then test it as I touch it with my palm to make sure that it is the perfect temperature. Once it hits the perfect temperature I then pull the plug to start the shower. As I step into the shower and the hot water runs over my body I be rxed. I then beginthering my washcloth and begin washing the sex off of me. It''s almost like I forgot what it feels like to have a nice hot shower after some awesome sex. This is a feeling I could get used to all the time. I don''t want to get out, I just want to stand under the hot water. It feels so good, oh my god. I know that I need to get out there is so much that needs to be done, but I''m frozen in time loving this moment. It''s nice to not feel anything, no worries, just feeling good. I giggle to myself at how I''m making such a big deal out of a shower. It''s the little things that truly mean the most this world. But then in insist my world begins to shatter as my me! the bathroom door is swung open. I jump as I hear the door bang against the wall. I then swing the shower curtain open and go into defense mode ready to fight not knowing what is about to happen but wanting to be prepared. I then see a teary-eyed Landon. "Lilly, they took him. He is gone. I can''t find him. I searched the whole grounds, and he is nowhere to be found." I am confused at first, not understanding what he was talking About. I then begin to go pale as fear begins to ovee me. As I begin to recall what he was going to do He was going to get Jayden ready for the memorial. Gone he said no he can''t be gone no I won''t ept that. Realizing I had been so consumed with myself I forgot about Jayden this can''t be true he can''t be talking about Jayden he can''t be. "Lilly, did you hear me they took him Jayden is gone." I shut the shower off hoping that this is a dream but once I feel Landon''s firm grip on my shoulder. I know that it is not. I am terrified and uncertain of what to say. Knowing nothing I say will make it alright. "Lilly, what are we going to do? We need to find him. God Lilly answer me, please. "Landon this has to be a mistake he couldn''t have been taken." He is a child, no god please no. I fall to my knees in Desperation hoping that he is lying to me but knowing he is not. My knees smack against a tub I grip onto the shower curtain and pull it down out of anger ripping it. So much emotion is running through me, I''m so angry and so terrified. Hating the fact that when I was having the best time, Jayden was having the worst as he was getting kidnapped." Chapter 80 Uncertain what to do with Jayden missing, it''s like a piece of me went with him. I have been searching for him, but I haven''t found any trace of him. I haven''t fault anything either which I''m d that he at least he isn''t being tortured. I don''t know what else to do but search for him. I don''t want to give up but everywhere I go it just leads to a dead end. With the disappearance of Jayden the memorial never happened and no one was named Alpha. They want to do the memorial along with naming the Alpha. I don''t want to go but now that I''m a part of this pack it''s my duty. I just don''t know if I''m going to really be any kind of goodpany. I can''t stand even being around people right now. I know that Jayden''s disappearance isn''t my fault, but I just feel that if I just showed him more attention and been there for him that this wouldn''t have happened. I have been so consumed with myself that I have forgotten about him. I hate myself for not paying more attention to him, I wish I could go back and change it, but it''s toote. Landon and I have been searching for him day and night taking turns when one of us sleeps while the other is out searching for him. We haven''t stopped looking for him even though there are no leads on where he is. We will not stop until we find him. Landon is supposed to be back for the pack meeting. He promised his mother that he will be here, so I know he will show. Things have just been hard and there is no way to fix it unless we find Jayden. I don''t want to say it''s impossible to find him, but it feels like it is. I don''t know what else to do. I am so scared that we''re never going to see him again. I just don''t know how he would disappear without a trace. I then hear a voice are you really that stupid. Confused as I looked around there''s no one there then I realized its star. "Why would you say such a thing? You are my wolf." "Did you ever realize, maybe what you are seeking for what is right in front of your face, that there had been someone in the pack that was involved? He couldn''t just disappear without a trace by himself. Someone saw something, but they''re not saying probably because they are the spy of the pack." Damn it how could I have been so stupid I forgot about spies of this pack God. All I''ve been wanting to do is find him. I didn''t even investigate the pack to see If anyone had information I thought they would juste forward. "Thank you star for helping me see what I missed. My question for you is why do you keep leaving me." "You left my mate to die you did not protect him you just left him to be tortured by others." I be angry and surprised that she''s taking our mates side after all the Times that he hurt us. She is siding with a monster." Star he was a monster he hurt us I had to save Jayden he''s what is important." "Really Lily he is what''s important is that why he is lost? Our mate Was drugged. That is why he acted the way he did. He wasn''t acting like who he truly is But now we will just never know because you left him to die." "Star what choice did I have? He was injured and I didn''t have time to wait for him." She quit talking back to me which makes me angry she''s my wolf she is supposed to see my side. I don''t think she really cares what I have to say. She wants her mate and that''s it. After all the pain that Ivan has caused I don''t know if I can just forget about all of it. It might not have been him that did it but it''s his face that haunts my dreams. I get up to look out the window. I see that the sun is going to being up and that Landon should be here anytime. They will be naming him Alpha at sunrise. It''s tradition to name the new Alpha of the pack at sunrise when it''s a new alpha. It''s like a new beginning. It''s quite a beautiful ceremony. Even though it''s really not going to be the same without Jayden here. As I started getting ready I slipped into A dress that''s not too fancy but not too casual just perfect for the asion. You should look decent to go, but I don''t want to overdress. I''m e not too much into doing my hair, so I just grab a ponytail and brush it up and put the ponytail in my hair to keep it out of my face. I was never much for makeup. I didn''t really like it always made my face feel heavy. My mom always told me I was a natural beauty that I didn''t need it anyhow but aren''t all mothers supposed to say that to their daughters. I wait for Landon toe to my cabin, so we can go to the ceremony. But he never shows I hear the horns that it''s getting ready to start. I grabbed my shoes, put them on, and I go out the door. As I''m running my heels are getting stuck in the ground, so I take them off and begin to run without shoes. I would be lying if I say that I didn''t enjoy the mud going in between my toes. It''s such a crazy feeling, but I like it. I stayed in the back of the crowd not wanting to causemotion. Since I''m just arriving I lost track of time I guess waiting on Landon. As they name each person that has lost their lives in the battle. The memorialis beautiful, there areughs and their cries. Most of those that were injured are here they''re fully healed. I can see the anger in some of their eyes over the loved ones that they have lost. Not really knowing how to show themfort I just stay silent. letN?vel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive ? material. I watch as Landon''s mother walks up on stage. She is so beautiful. "Hello my fellow werewolves we are here to not just remember those that we have lost but to name a new leader of this pack an alpha that will Protect and serve they''re werewolfmunity with fairness an@love. This decision did note easy, but it is the decision that us, the elderly of the pack, came up with the decision that is best for all of us. Those that disagree are those that do not belong." The crowd bes quiet. I look to find Landon, but he is not here. Everyone waits to hear who our new leader is and that''s when all of a sudden I hear my name. "Your new Leader and Alpha of the pack is Lillian Caterina Smith." I stopped dead in my tracks. I turned around and looked at the stage as everyone was turning around looking at me, I am shocked did I hear this right Am I the new alpha they named me their leader.000 Chapter 81 I am shocked, I don''t even know what to do. I stand as I''m watching everyone pping. They named me their alpha. As the crowd grips hold of me and pushes me forward, my feet are moving, but it feels like I''m floating. I am trying to register what is happening, But I don''t know how. I have never seen myself much as a leader. I have always just followed those who are in charge. Not knowing what to say or do at the most important times. I be nervous, what if I''m not cut out for this. They chose me to lead them, but what if I lead them to their death. As I make it up the steps to the stage. I look over at the crowd of people and I be terrified. Wondering why the elders of the pack feel that I am capable of being their leader. As I raise my hand for those to be silent. I begin to feel different. My doubt is leaving and confidence is taking over. Shocked as It bes quite so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. Just for a moment, I take in the silence and just enjoy it loving the noise of the birds tripping and the leaves blowing in the wind. I take a deep breath and I begin to move my lips. "I am surprised, probably as much as some of you are. In the recent events of the attack and Jayden''s disappearance. These events have been challenging, and I am just trying to keep it together. I am grateful that the elders chose me to lead this pack." Landon''s mom cuts in, what is she doing. I wasn''t done speaking. "Apud your new alpha. The next great leader of your time." As the crowd is apuding, I''m angry with Landon''s mother. I go to give her a piece of my mind, but then she begins to whisper in my ear. "My sweet child I know that you did not ask for this, but this is your destiny, do not deny them for they will be alone and be a target build this pack until it bes unstoppable."T¨ºxt belongs to N?velDrama.Org. I calm myself as I watch all those that are cheering for me, the children who are jumping up-and-down pping their hands. Their parents gripping on to their other little hand praying That the battle that ising won''t be their end, that I will lead them to the victory that we all deserve. I have no other choice but to ept the honor that has been given to me. I cannot let any more paine to this pack. I stand on the stage with my feet firm on the ground As I raise my right hand to the sky as I ept the role as their new alpha. Believe it or not, no one is more shocked than me. As I''m ncing over the crowd, that''s when I see Landon, I can feel the anger radiating from him. I try not to let it show that it''s bothering me. It''s not like I was second best. They didn''t choose me because he was not here. They choose me because I am the best leader for this pack. I look away from him trying To not let it bother me, but when I go to look back to see him he is gone. The crowd begins cheering. I want to be happy, but a feeling of guilt is oveing me. I would like to leave and go find him to make sure he''s OK. But I''m aware that My duty is to this pack, not to him. The pull that I had to him is no longer there, it has disappeared. I once followed him, but now it is gone and my loyalty to him has faded. My loyalty now lies in my pack. The crowd begins yelling. They want direction, they want revenge, but that isn''t what is about to happen. I''m not having my pack turn dark and hurting Innocence. We will be better than all the rest of the packs. We will have the strengths of hundreds because I am their protector. I take a deep breath, nervous how they will react to what I''m about to say. "I am grateful that I was chosen to be your Alpha. I know that a lot has happened the past couple of weeks that has tested us. I want for all of us to have a fresh start to a happier future. That''s why find it in the best interest of the pack is for us to leave and not look back." The crowd begins to roar in anger, What you want us to run away and not fight is what cowards do." Those that don''t agree with me, I understand your confusion. I will not build my pack from hatred and revenge. Strength isn''t about who is stronger. There is more strength and forgiving those that have hurt us. I''m not asking you to leave your home if you choose to stay that That is your choice I will leave it to you. There has been so much pain, I believe everyone deserves a fresh start. And those packs to think we are weak will soon figure out how wrong they are. We will fight back, but we will not kill those that surrender. Power isn''t about how many people you can kill. As your alpha, I will protect you the best that I can, but I will not kill if it''s not needed We are killing our own kind, and we don''t even know what we''re fighting for. Is it power or is it a gift that 1 of us may have? We don''t deserve to be taken. I will protect those that stand beside me and fight for what actually is right. It is So easy to kill. Why not challenge yourself to forgive? I wanted revenge more than I am your leader, those that decide to follow and those that decide not to, I will leave The Choice to you. But I can promise you that I will be the best alpha that I can be, not for myself but for you. I found that my family was not killed by a car ident. But was a target for my power. anything. I wanted to make those that hurt my family suffer. Then I figured out, no matter if they''re suffering, it''s not going to bring them back. I live my life wanting revenge, all it''s going to do is build hatred and darkness in me. choose to live a life of happiness I will miss them always. They might be gone, but they will never be forgotten. I then hear a familiar voice, "All bow to your new Alpha." As the crowd bowls down, I see a familiar face. Then I hear star screaming "mate you''re alive."???????????? Chapter 82 My wolf is pulling to her mate, she wants to see him. I am nervous I didn''t let him to die afraid of what he may think. I hide him, so he wouldn''t be found but was it enough. Damn it, it''s not like I left him out in the open and put a sign on him toe get me. I feel so bad for what I did, but I had no other choice at the time. Star is yelling inside my head, "please take me to my mate, he''s alive, I want to be with him." I don''t know what to do, I also felt the connection with Ivan but all the things that he has done to me. I don''t know what I feel when I look at him, I know I felt fear before, but its seems different now. I don''t feel any kind of genuine love for him but could I. Star is attempting to take over my body, but I am stronger, I don''t allow her to. Ivan is bing closer, his scent is sending arousal through my body, I purr to the delight. Unsure what to make it out as. This is the man who has terrified me And put me through so much misery, but yet, My body craves him more than anything. I watch as he removes his jacket exposing his neck showing the mark that I have given him. The crowd begins to rattle, surprised, not knowing Ivan is my mate. I be silent, uncertain what to say, how to exin it. He walks up so close that my nose is touching his, the heat between us is exhrating. I then hear a familiar voice, knowing it''s Landon''s mother, I hear her say. "Please wee Ivan, the alpha of the wicked falls pack. Your New alpha''s mate, wee him."N?vel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive ? material. You hear the cheers and pping from the crowd, then you hear someone yelling are we joining packs that will make us even more strong. I watch as the color slowly drains from Ivan''s face. We cannot join packs because the wicked falls pack is no longer. We got attacked, everybody was either killed or captured. I didn''t find anybody who survived, not even my family. After his words, I can see the fear running through my pack members. Realizing now what kind of danger they''re really in. I know most would want to run and hide. But I''m scared that they won''t ever stop hurting and killing innocent wolves. Can I really leave Jayden, what if hees back here And I''m not here, what will happen to him then? I feel like my mind is rambling in circles, unable to decide or to even think straight. What is a good idea and what is not, I''m so unsure. Now I want to stay because of Jayden, I know it is selfish on my part, especially if it means losing pack members. He''s just a child, how do I just leave and not wait for him toe back. Terrified of the alternative, which is epting that he may nevere back. I would like to hold on to as much faith as I possibly can, knowing if he had gotten lost that he would have been found by now. epting the fact that someone has taken him and the chances of finding him are not good. Without endangering the rest of the pack. I can''t risk everybody''s life. I wish I could just go alone, but my responsibility is now to them. My arm begins to tingle looking to figure out why, that''s when I notice that Ivan is pulling on to me. I want to shrug him off and tell him never to touch me again me, but I don''t, instead I listen. "Ste, can we please talk, there is so much I need to say."? I want to say no, I want to tell him to go straight to hell. But I think about my wolf, she has been so lonely without her mate. Maybe if I try, she wille back to me. To be at my strongest, I need her on my side With her, it would make me unstoppable. Having my full-strength and then plus hers, I can''t imagine what I would be able to do. "Yes, we can go to my cabin to talk in private, follow me." I am surprised I don''t feel any kind of fear, I''m not even nervous to talk to Ivan. He used to be the monster in my dreams. Something is different, and I don''t know what, but I can feel it. The coldness I felt in his eyes is no longer there, they''re warm. Could he really be a different man, or is it all made up to attempt to capture me? He grabs my arm and says to Lilly, "We don''t need to go into private, anything I have to say I can say In front of whomever." I want to tell him not to put his hands on me But God is touch feels I so good. I don''t want him to know that it affects me at all, so I shrug it off. If he''s not trying to get me alone, maybe he''s not trying to capture me or hurt me. Perhaps he did change. I look at him confused and say, "OK well get on with it, what do you want to tell me?" "I''m really confused on all that has happened to me. It was like I was in another dimension, then all of a sudden, just came back. I felt terrible when I saw the fear in your eyes, how scared you were of me. Knowing I had to do something horrible to make you so scared. I''m so sorry, I want to know if you could ever give me a chance. The Ivan that you have meant is not the true Ivan." I need my wolf if I am going to be the alpha that I need to be to protect my pack. I need to give Ivan a chance if not for me but for star, my wolf. So at least I can say I did everything I could if it doesn''t work out, I just hope she understands. I just simply so "okay" Chapter 83 Life is starting to feel like a blur. I epted to give Ivan a chance, But I feel lost. I had reasoning behind my existence. But now I don''t know my reasoning. I am an alpha I should be strong um, but I feel weak. thought that I could forget about Landon and Jayden and just move on. The harder I try, the worse I feel. I know what needs to be done, but it will put everybody and danger. I wanted to escape to a ce that we would all be able to be safe and live a life that is without fear. I''m not sure if that is possible for me, I would be running from those that I love. The whole point of everything was always to keep Jayden safe, without him there is no point into anything I need to find him even if it kills me, I have to bring him back to where he belongs. I''m not sure of what the pack is going to see of me as. I don''t really care, though I can''t be the alpha I need to be. Not caring what anybody thinks. This is what has to be done for me to be able to live. I know my responsibility as an alpha is to protect those that can''t protect themselves. But I also have to protect those that I love. I get up from my bed and look out the window. I noticed the sun has not risen, yet it is pitch ck out. I don''t want to leave my pack without notice. But I also don''t want to be stopped and talked out of my decision or made to feel bad about it. So, I decide to get dressed and head out the door. As much I don''t want to, I know what I need to do. I need an Alpha for my pack while I''m gone, and there is no one other than Ivan that would be strong enough.Original from N?velDrama.Org. As I''m tiptoeing through the pack territory On my way to Ivan''s cabin. Knowing I need to leave my pack with an alpha Even though I don''t trust him, I can''t leave them unprotected. I guess this would be the true test for him. If he can do this and protect my pack, then I''ll promise to give myself to him. I''ll never be able to give myself fully to him because of the love that I have for Landon. But I will be his mate and bare his children if it means he will protect them while I''m gone. Then I won''t have to feel so bad for leaving and not telling anyone. I need to do what is best for me, and that''s to find Jayden. I get to Ivan''s cabin and knock on the door, but I hear nothing. I don''t want to just walk into his cabin. I, know that he wouldn''t be expecting me and might go into defense mode. So, I continue to knock, after 15 minutes I go to give up. Then all of a sudden, I hear twigs snapping and leaves ruffling. I begin sniffing the air to see if it is a scent that I recognize. I then hide myself behind Ivan''s cabin to see if whoever it is if theye out. I don''t recognize the smell, but I then feel arousal running through my veins. Bing confused, knowing that the scent isn''ting from Ivan. As they approach Ivan''s cabin. I can tell it''s someone big, I watch as they go open his door. Fuck our they getting ready to attack Ivan. I rush to the door, getting ready to do whatever is necessary to protect my mate. But then as the lightes on I then realize that it is Ivan, confused on why I didn''t recognize his scent. I be angry is he a trader how could I have ever consider giving him a chance of redemption, fuck I''m stupid? I go and tackle him to the ground "What were you doing, are you nning an attack? Why couldn''t I recognize your scent, I thought I could trust you, fuck I should have known better I''m so stupid." "No Lilly I was just going for a run, I like to run before the sun rises, I hide my scent, so I am not recognized by anybody else. I don''t want people to know I''m alive." It makes sense that he wouldn''t want people to know he''s alive, but I''m so angry. I am curious on how he made his scent just disappear. To be honest, I didn''t even know that it was possible. I need to know how he did it. So, I just ask him, "how did you make your scent just disappear like that." "There''s a herb that you can find that will disguise your scent." "Really, what Herb is that?" "I really can''t remember the name of it." "Oh really now, maybe you just can''t remember the name of it because it doesn''t exist." "Lilly please, I''m telling you the truth, I''m not a traitor." "Then tell me what the Herb is, then I will believe that you''re not a traitor." "I really don''t know the name, but I know me t to tell anyone, but ifet gave it to me. She told the o you can ask her." you, "Fine, what is her name?" "I don''t know her name she didn''t say, and I never asked." I began tough "really you don''t know her namee on Ivan just tell me the truth your trader." "No I''m the when an who stood up with you you became the Alpha dilly, I promise the I is t belongs to Sounds I stopped I''m shocked, then I realize it is her, she knows how to hide a person''s scent. Oh my god, Jayden was always here, he was never captured by another pack. I never felt his pain because she would never hurt him. Landon''s mother is the trader of this pack. She is the one who we all trusted and followed, but she is nothing but air. Chapter 84 It can''t be true. She couldn''t have done all this. She is the only person who Landon has that he loves. I be confused on how the world has be. I know families have their issues, but my family, we would have never betrayed each other. No matter what the cost would have been.Original from N?velDrama.Org. Ivan has no reason to lie. What I am curious about is why she would give it to him. She would have known that I would figure it out, eventually. Is she trying to blow her cover? Or is something worsting? I hate all the deceit that is happening. I will not stand for it. If she wants to y this game, then fine. I will y until I find Jayden and he''s with me. I look at Ivan with a Stern face, "do not speak of me being here tonight and what we talked about." He looks at me. I can see that he''s worried, but he does not admit it he shakes his head and, says, "yes alpha"! I don''t know what''s going to happen, but what I do know is I will find Jayden. She wants to y this game, then fine, let''s y. There is no doubt in my mind that II can''t defeat her. She will pay for what she has done. Not by physical harm, I will not hurt her. I prefer not to be the person who tortures others. It will be worse than physical harm, She will lose something that means more, her family. I turn around and walk out the door of Ivan''s cabin. I''m so angry. She just watched Landon grieve for his son. When she was the reasoning behind all of it. I can''t be a 100% sure, but I''m pretty confident that she has him. What I need to figure out is where she is keeping him. Happy that she hadn''t gone as far as hurting him. Maybe it is because she knows that if she would hurt him, that Landon and I both would feel his pain. Nervous that if she doesn''t get what she wants, will she go as far as hurting him? Knowing that she is not caring about the suffering that she has caused Landon by taking Jayden and hiding him. I feel like such a fool. How could I have been so blind? I knew that something was off, but I ignored it, and now I will be paying for it. I wish Landon was here, so we coulde up with a n together. But I don''t think he''s evering back now. He''s not just hurt, he''s angry. He may feel the betrayal, but that''s not what I meant by taking the Alpha role. I don''t understand why people look at me like I''m stupid, why she really thought that I would never find that she is the trader, or is it all the test? To see if I am capable of figuring out what is happening. I don''t think that they would go to such lengths, but I don''t know. I will not stand for it. I''m done. I will allow no one to take someone I love ever again. I will find Jayden, and we will escape this pack. Then we will find Landon and get the fuck out of ska and never look back. I''m done with whatever the fuck this is. I just want to live a normal life. As I''m walking into my cabin, I''m overwhelmed by all that I have learned. How am I going to tell Landon that his mother is the traitor, and she is involved with the killing of so many incidents and worst of all, that she has taken Jayden and kept it quiet for this long? How could she have betrayed her own son? I need toe up with a n on how I''m going to figure out how I''m going to find Jayden. I have to make it out like have no idea what is really happening. I have to make her think that I trust her in order for her to truly trust me. Like her advice matters, I got it. I can make her my second inmand. Let her think that she has won that I hold all my trust in her, but in reality, she''s being yed. So let the games begin. I am relived in some ways knowing that Jayden is safe. But my relief does not take over my anger that I am feeling. I need to control myself. I can''t act any different, if she notices the change then she might move Jayden to somewhere else have to be able to be myself and in front of her. She is a deceiving person, she will figure it out if I''m acting different. I decide to take a shower to attempt to ease myself. From all the anger I''m feeling, I want to scream, but I know I need to rx as hard as it may be. I need to. I have never been a deceiving person. Hoping I can be deceiving enough to save a person I care about. I have to show strength. I have to be able to do whatever is necessary to save him. I get to the bathroom. As I am undressing, I turn the water on to warm. My mind is everywhere. It''s giving me a headache. I go to sit on the toilet to pee before I get into the shower. I feel the water, it''s warmth giving me shivers. I turn the shower on and step in. Taking deep breaths, letting the hot water run over my body. I can feel rxation, but the nervousness that, I feel, is not going away. I just keep repeating to myself over and over again I can do this, I can do this. I have no other choice. I need to save him, I will save him because I can do this.??????????????? The Novel will be updated first on this website. Come back and continue reading tomorrow, everyone!