《I Tried To Get Away, But I Got Somewhere Instead (Itinerant Ritualist #4)》


 1. The Commercial Applications Of Ritualism

    The Ritualist, It Must Be Admitted, Has the Least Association With Tedium of All Classes


    Graduation! The faculty of Todelk University''s school of ritualism had again succeeded in its mission. A crop of callow, undistinguished Zeroes had been cultivated into bona fide Ritualists capable not only of supporting the modern society that depended so heavily on the rituals they alone could conduct with any assurance of success, but also of furthering mankind''s knowledge of rituals in order to bring about a tomorrow more splendid than today.


    The superstitions of the past that insisted rituals must always be done this one certain way lest the gods be enraged had long since been beaten back by Reason''s sharp brand. Courageous academic Ritualists transformed the very concept of ¡°ritual¡± into something meant for mankind alone and went on to impart a love of rigor and experimentation to their students, who would go on to become academics themselves bubbling over with theories of improvement, world travelers eager both to gather and distribute ritualism techniques suitable to encourage human flourishing, and practicing Ritualists testing those same techniques every day against reality in order that the best might be recognized and the rest discarded. By the efforts of all the branches of the Ritualist brotherhood, an increase in the prosperity of humanity was assured.


    No less would the students themselves benefit. Their names might ever be inscribed in the eternal monument that was the history of the class, their status in society bolstered by the respect owed their accomplishments and learning, and, though perhaps crass to mention, commercial Ritualists made pretty good money. Whatever the particulars, every student there, now former student, was guaranteed a productive and respectable career owing to what had been learned over three years at Todelk University and its school of ritualism, the sixth-most prestigious institution of that kind in all Greater Enloffenkir.


    Soot covered every inch of the template drawn on the cold stone floor. Dirant Rikelta, recent graduate and level 6 Ritualist, finished dragging crates to their proper positions while muttering the required words. No artful cadence enlivened the chant, and he made no effort to make it intelligible for the sake of a non-existent audience. Perhaps a layman would have been moved by the poetry of the invocation, but the Ritualist had said the whole thing so often that it meant nothing to him, much as when a financial analyst stops to make sure ¡°quarter¡± is a real word and not something he made up.


    Dirant set all the produce-filled crates designated for processing within the whorls and squiggles he had marked in soot, let his muttering trail off like the end of an anecdote he had never wanted to relate to people who obviously were paying no attention, and tapped the ferrule of the staff once venerated as the sacred instrument of the goddess of the hearth against the floor. Modern Ritualists understood a staff with a ring on the top end to be nothing but one of dozens of tools, even if the exact mechanism which necessitated that particular type be used had so far eluded them. On the third tap he felt as if a knot inside him had been undone, a sensation familiar to him as the signal delivered by his Ritual Judgment ability to inform him he had just completed a genuine ritual, as in one that had an actual effect. Not what the effect was, but there was no real doubt about that so long as he followed the steps.


    ¡°Rejoice, rejoice,¡± he intoned while he swept the staff across an arc that included the processed crates and turned to face the still-imaginary audience, bouncing the implement in the air as if he were tapping the celebrants. That was improper. Every Ritualist graduated by Todelk University knew from the lectures of the sixth-finest professors in Greater Enloffenkir about ritualism as it was practiced over the centuries, including the cosmetic flourishes past Ritualists added to ceremonies as a means of impressing the gullible crowds of those ignorant times with the alleged religious solemnity of the occasion. What the contemporary Ritualist desired was to do what was necessary and not a motion more so as to capture the beautiful purity of the ritual itself. Dirant desired that for the first ten times, became indifferent over the next thirty or so, and began to adopt increasing amounts of pomp afterward.


    ¡°The janitor will look in a year from today and be unsure whether to get rid of the many candles, music boxes, gongs, and other distractions I gathered up to amuse myself while I work. A ridiculous outcome I see no way to avoid.¡± Dirant thought that rather than said it, since his mouth was busy with grunts as he shoved back against the wall the crates formerly filled with perishables that his ritual had rendered imperishable and also inedible. He next inscribed the ritual stone that would allow what he had done to be undone without difficulty, whether by him or another Ritualist, and logged the affected crates and how long the Preservation Ritual would last, which amounted to four times his Receptivity in hours.


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.


    <blockquote>


    Ritualist


    xxxxxxxx


    LV 6 650/1000


    HP 220


    Muscle 34


    Coordination 43 (+4)


    Verve 40 (+1)


    Sticktoitiveness 54 (+3)


    Discernment 65 (+1)


    Gumption 23


    Tit-for-Tat 42 (+1)


    Receptivity 86 (+5)


    Panache 44 (+2)


    Class Abilities


    Ritual Judgment


    Ritual Completion


    Ritual Memory


    Ritual Delay


    Ritual Humility


    General Abilities


    Adaban (Fluent)


    Heweks (Fluent)


    Tabilidgeir (Intermediate)


    Dvanj (Intermediate)


    Yumin (Intermediate)


    Desurvyai (Basic)


    Saueo (Basic)


    Mercantile Fundamentals


    Horse Riding (Basic)


    </blockquote>


    He did have a functioning memory, but he checked his Receptivity anyway. To be sure of the duration of course, not to remind himself of why he chose Ritualist as his class in the first place. It was an elite class after all, not a basic one such as Workman or Small Fry people fell into for a lack of options. There was something of constraint in Dirant''s stats since most physical classes were out of his Muscle''s capacity, but never mind the lows when the highs were right there. Few had the 72 Receptivity, the stat which governed open-mindedness and the capacity to understand the quickly changing modern world, required to become a Ritualist. He far exceeded that at base, to say nothing of the five points he had gained over the past three years or the sixth that surely would follow soon, the seventh he could acquire after hitting level 7, and so on. Given his rare Receptivity, to enter any other class seemed in insult to the very nature of stats and to society as a whole, regardless of what he did with his class abilities. Which was the Preservation Ritual, again and again. His employer wanted to sell foodstuffs out of season at a substantial markup, after all.


    Wishing to inform the Ritualist supervisor Donnlink Espahalpt of the completion of the task, he opened the door of the back room and walked into the central area of a massive warehouse large enough to accommodate most sports along with the parents of the children forced to play them. The available lighting sufficed for such activities owing to the large window openings high up that were covered by sheer mabonnpaper, a favorite in low-wind areas. Various doors on two sides led to storage for products that required particular arrangements, whether a certain temperature, total darkness, or regular ritualization. Wide gates in the remaining walls opened on the road or the river''s countless boats.


    Sounds of steps, scrapes, coughs, and the occasional frustrated utterance censurable in a more formal setting added variety to the monotonous scritching made by clerks at desks along the warehouse''s sides as they completed paperwork that ever replaced itself in bold defiance of the concept of progress. It would have been easy to lie down and fall asleep there were it not for the odor that waged a permanent, low-intensity campaign against the nostrils of everyone inside, the inevitable aftereffect of the Mold Prevention Ritual usually masked by other scents in establishments less focused on ledgers. Such were the signs that one was in a facility operated by the eminent mercantile concern Stadeskosken, one of several rented warehouses in that single city, to say nothing of others across Greater Enloffenkir.


    ¡°Mr. Donnlink, the assignment has been carried out. What new ritual awaits me?¡±


    The supervisor looked up, a man who had risen to his position no doubt by climbing a ladder made of hundreds of Preservation Rituals. When they first met Dirant had wondered what prompted his supervisor to grow a tidy little beard so unusual in their country, but he had come to feel the draw of novelty almost as deeply. ¡°No further rituals, Mr. Dirant. Not for another two weeks, unless your Receptivity has changed. Has it? Then I will give a special gift to our filing system by having you correct labels.¡±


    ¡°Certainly, Mr. Donnlink.¡±


    Dirant marched to an indicated corner desk. On the way he checked the detailed view of his abilities to ensure he possessed sufficient qualifications for the task set him, so great was his dread of disappointing his supervisor and himself.


    Adaban (Fluent): Literate; Kitslof Dialect; Kitslof Accent (Heavy)


    The anxiety dissipated. He could in fact read and write his native language. He further did so in a dialect distinguished for its precision in both pronunciation and expression, and what was more, he managed not to sigh at any point, the truest test of the capable drudge. Those incorrect, incomplete, or outdated labels which threatened to send shipments to the wrong locations or make a false record that such had happened could have no chance against level 6 Ritualist Dirant Rikelta, who crafted superior versions full of truth just as the errors of the past inevitably succumbed to modern improvement.

 2. On Religious Experiences

    And An Explanation Of Why, Despite The Impossibility Of Such Having Been Proved, Reports of Them Continue


    ¡°And is this how rituals are done today? Very dry, very clinical, but I am sure very efficient. It''s just the same for us Duelists. We study treatises on proper mindset all while the instructors assure us winning an actual duel is a waste of time. The law agrees with them, but I haven''t quite been able to dismiss a theory claiming that has more to do with wanting to avoid trouble than advancing the science of the duel. My habit of course is to believe everything I am told.¡±


    Dirant looked up at the man looming over his desk to the extent someone of that height could. Black hair like most Adabans had covered his forehead, which current fashion regarded as an undesirable part of a man''s anatomy, best hidden. No beard or mustache of course, but as for his sideburns, they extended well past the ears much like a pier jutting out past a warehouse over a river. That also was typical of current Adaban ideas about style, though Dirant had shaved his own sideburns shorter after returning home and seeing the impressive mutton chops his father had developed in his absence. He scried in that the end of current hairstyle trends.


    ¡°Silthree! Aren''t you busy?¡±


    ¡°I choose not to be. Mr. Supervisor, I will be taking your underling to lunch. Tell me if there is real work for him to do later; otherwise, I must look on the return trip as something optional.¡±


    ¡°Nothing pressing, Mr. Silapobolt.¡±


    ¡°Depressing for our company, but we have other brothers to worry about that.¡± Silapobolt Rikelta yanked his little brother away from the desk and into the city streets.


    How many states constituted the confederation known as Greater Enloffenkir? One hundred eighteen, and of those Kitslof was far from the least, and out of Kitslof''s cities, Fennizen was the richest. Perhaps not the grandest, since its foremost citizens were too busy building warehouses to bother themselves about ornamenting their hometown with parks and concert halls, but probably the cleanest. Obstructions could not be allowed to impede the city''s profitable traffic, and so pedestrians enjoyed nothing but immaculate paved streets as they passed the high and stout piles of brick and stone the Adaban people preferred. If it came down to a battle between cities, wags observed, Greater Enloffenkir''s buildings could beat up those of any country on the continent. Most likely the enemy would flee the field at the mere sight of blocks upon blocks of the imposing structures.


    Two young gentlemen strode through Fennizen, both sporting the fashion-favored vests that buttoned on alternating sides and pants that forbade the common crowd any sight of socks or leggings better kept private. Both also were equal in height, almost.


    ¡°I must insist that you slouch a bit in deference to your older brother.¡±


    ¡°And yet I must insist that you grow a couple inches before your younger brother begins to question the amount of respect you are due.¡± So the two siblings spoke, Silapobolt and Dirant Rikelta, or Silthree and Dirtwo in private. When one was brought into the world by a father with such a constrained sense of names as theirs had, a man who named his nine sons Silapobenk, Silapobant, Silapobolt, Silapobezor, Direnk, Dirant, Dirol, Direzor, and Ontirorant, one was forced to make independent arrangements.


    As the third and sixth children, Silthree and Dirtwo had no controversies between them except for their heights such as sometimes alienate brothers from their natural bond of affection. For example, looking at the same girl or competing for the same seat in the orchestra. Each therefore was closer to the other than to the rest of his brothers, not that either bore any hatred for them. It was more a problem with remembering they existed and their many birthdays.


    ¡°Speaking of families . . .¡± Dirant began.


    ¡°Were we?¡±


    ¡°No. Speaking of families, is the rumor true that our Silthree is behaving like the fabled bekirbird that steals the young of its rivals, or?¡±


    ¡°Does the bekirbird have this merit, that it can negotiate with government officials without ever losing its temper? If so, I am that very bird made human. But enough about my work, which is faultless. How is yours, or rather what is your opinion of it now that you''ve been back for a few months?¡±


    Dirant allowed the deflection out of tender consideration for his brother''s feelings on a sensitive subject, to wit his suspected courtship of a lady whose father owned and operated a rival concern, and also because Silthree was paying. There was also the undeniable if unacknowledged fact that taller as the younger might be, the older surpassed him in handsomeness and most of their other brothers as well, though not Siltwo. Therefore Dirtwo preferred not to spend too much time on Silthree''s love life for fear of building up excessive envy. He answered the question as posed after they established themselves at a restaurant.


    ¡°That question was a mistake. Your polite interest is enough excuse for me to unload my stockpiled grievances right here.¡± Dirant had a heart after all and paused to allow Silapobolt an opportunity to object, but his brother, equally solicitous, instead motioned for him to continue. ¡°The earth is now dug. I must rely on your judgment to confirm whether my vision of the future is so clear and precise as I suspect it to be.


    Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    ¡°As a commercial Ritualist graduated from a prestigious school of such, I perform the Preservation Ritual. There are other rituals that offer advantages, but after a close accounting they are all found either to fail to justify the cost of the ingredients or to be in violation of some municipal ordinance. Out of everything I learned at Todelk, the sole ability I use is the Ritual Judgment I attained at level 1. As for rituals, there are none. Mr. Donnlink taught me the Preservation and Mold Prevention Rituals himself. Afterward I struggled with the unanticipated problem that my Receptivity was at times too high, as the perishables were to be delivered to customers before two weeks and the revocation of the ritual is a ritual, and therefore an expense, in itself. To that end I at times performed half or quarter versions till at last I learned the optional class ability Ritual Humility, which allows me to act at a lower Receptivity. That was not taught at the university of course. They wished for us to increase our potential rather than hobble it.


    ¡°I perfected commercial ritualism by that addition to my arsenal. Nothing remains but to perform a ritual every so often on oranges, yams, and so forth until my lack of mishaps earns me a promotion, at which point my schedule will be taken up more and more by ordering junior Ritualists to do what I once did myself. Eventually, if I continue being capable and the owner''s son, I will reach a management position where I will never again be called upon to perform any rituals and my class will have not the slightest relevance to my career. Is that an accurate, perhaps even clairvoyant view of what is to come?¡±


    Silapobolt held up a glass. ¡°It is, and here''s to your Discernment. I recall it took Silfour more than a year to predict the course of events as you have after a few months; I''ll tease him about it later perhaps.¡±


    ¡°Tell me the results. So then. Is this life?¡±


    ¡°It is. Now you must choose one of these two options when you take your pay, which bothers me by being more than I made when I started. The ratio of Duelists to Ritualists in the workforce is against me. Either spend it all on the pleasures of the moment or else save a portion, denying yourself with a view toward results you hope will be greater. Today we must try out the pleasures of the moment; concoct a plan that requires saving while we do so.¡±


    ¡°A portrait of me that, when removed from the wall, reveals a map to the treasure. I must be getting back though.¡± Dirant retreated to a defensive position when Silthree grinned at him. ¡°I know well there is a sense in which my presence or absence in the warehouse is irrelevant, and it is the one meaningful sense at that, but I still ought to return.¡±


    ¡°No, you ought not,¡± Silapobolt said. His argument won the day.


    Although his supervisor most assuredly did not miss him, Dirant had outraged his own sense of propriety by his impromptu half-day vacation to such an extent that when a difficulty arose regarding a delivery that would put anyone who took it into overtime, unpaid of course, he reached for it as eagerly as the pious did some relic of the gods. Perhaps an inapt comparison, as said relics often possessed strange properties intriguing even to the modern skeptic, but the effort of coming up with a better analogy seemed unwarranted by the inconsequential nature of the incident.


    ¡°That is satisfactory,¡± the manager in charge of that particular delivery said. That manager happened to be Silone, or Silapobenk Rikelta at the office, and he resembled Dirant and all their brothers closely enough for none to doubt the relationship, with the main differences being his glasses and the reddish tint to his hair which he had inherited from their father''s first wife. The Dirant edition had been produced by a later contributor. ¡°Wholly suitable. The client will be pleased to receive the personal attention of one of the owner''s sons.¡±


    ¡°And so I am to announce myself as such? It sounds gauche.¡±


    Silapobenk smiled, and though Dirant thought well enough of all his brothers, he had always perceived a bit of cynicism or even cruelty in Silone''s expressions which Silthree lacked. None of that affected his speech, though. Stadeskosken employees worked under him day after day without realizing their superior had a sense of humor at all, much less one tinged with sadism. ¡°Entirely unnecessary. The client this time is no less a personage than Mr. Naolant Paslig. You can be sure that though his manor is outside the city, he keeps such attention on affairs that every one of his servants knows all of us by sight. Which I''m not sure I can say about our father.¡±


    Dirant laughed and picked up the case. It contained a cello just arrived at an unexpected time from Pavvu Omme Os. Whatever could be said about that country, for instance the poor odds its buildings would be given in a bout against Greater Enloffenkir''s, its artisans of stringed instruments were the exemplars for all others on the continent of Egillen according to everyone who had an interest in ranking cellos.


    In the evening, when as much light was left as the last portions of a dish no one dared admit to wanting for fear of gaining a reputation for gluttony, Dirant ambled down the slight slope back to Fennizen proper past farms, orchards, and farms with orchard-like characteristics while he reflected on his errand to Inplikir House, the client''s lavish manor atop the low hills south of the city. When the servant who opened the door saw Dirant, did his eyes indeed widen and his brows twitch before he composed himself enough to inquire in a condescending tone the identity of the visitor and his reason for visiting? Or did Dirant''s imagination invent the whole thing because of what his business-savvy brother had said? Probably not. Maybe so.


    Dirant considered resenting being reduced to nothing but Haderslant Rikelta''s son before he discarded that in favor of indulging in speculation about the potential of getting people to do stuff for him without any effort on his part. Nobody at Todelk University had cared about his locally prominent family, and since his return to Fennizen, he had spent too much of his time perfecting a single ritual to realize he might have weight to throw around. He started to whistle.


    ¡°Did something good happen? The thanks, if so, are owed to me.¡±


    In response to that unexpected voice, Dirant whirled around to search for the source, and there, just off the road on a stone placed to mark a territory boundary, he saw a god.

 3. On The Depictions Of Gods

    The Question Which Inevitably Claims The Attention Of Every Student Of Myth Is Whether, Their Accuracy Conceded, One Would Not Be Doing Wrong To Worship The Figures Depicted


    Fashion was different everywhere, but no human anywhere in the world was wearing a purple coat over which arrows of other colors raced vertically, upward on the left side and downward on the right, or so Dirant thought until he looked again and discovered it to be the other way around. Was it not? Actual colors actually moving, not an impression that tricked the eye caused by clever tailoring. Even the most implausible rumors about the Yean Defiafi fashion scene never claimed miraculous textiles like that existed.


    Aside from clothing materials, while there may have been unfortunates who had four fingers on one hand and six on the other, they were incapable of switching which was which as this creature did. His skin, or its, or perhaps his after all, glistened like steel, and his eyes resembled spinning plates, one of gold and the other black chased with silver. As for size, he looked much smaller than any person allowed to run outside that late in the evening, and yet there was the sense about him that he could no more be removed from that boundary marker without his cooperation than a mountain range could be marched into the sea to clear more land for agriculture.


    More than that, the internal knot Dirant had felt previously only when a successful ritual undid it seemed then to be tied tightly around his organs. No precedent allowed him to interpret whatever his Ritual Judgment wanted to tell him. The sole conviction he drew from the circumstances was that politeness was indicated. ¡°Every day we end alive is a good one, or so the sages say, sir.¡±


    The strange stone-sitter opened his lipless mouth and said, ¡°What you may not have been told by people too accustomed to notice or too intimidated is that yours is a face that converts pleasantry into something suspicious by its habitual hint of smugness. The sincerity of your courteous small talk is obvious to me, your god, but others may misunderstand.¡±


    The sensation spreading through Dirant''s body, and some in the past might have said his very soul, resembled an impulse he once had as a boy to dash out of the house during a rainstorm to feel the gale-driven rain which was prevented only by his mother''s intercession. He had since come to agree with her on the advisability of such behavior, but he had evidently not become immune to exhilaration.


    The parts of him that retained their rationality placed the probability gods existed at a low number and the chance one would appear before him lower still, and yet both estimates must have been far higher than odds of meeting a human who looked like that. Perhaps that sort of appearance was more common among gods. While the paintings and sculptures he knew depicted something quite different from this entity, artists could not be trusted. They often flattered their patrons or made caricatures of those the crowd disliked, after all. Still, he considered the likeliest scenario to be that a monster was about to eat him.


    Politeness continued to be an advisable element of a comprehensive defensive strategy. ¡°Sir, doubtless my ignorance of theological matters alone permits me to say this. It is my impression that gods do not normally appear before humans. Furthermore, the exclusivity implied in ''your god'' is contrary to religious practice. Am I misinformed, or?¡±


    ¡°The rules so delightful to me in their subtleties and perennial misuse that have been developed in an attempt to codify logic may be of use here to suggest this must perforce not be a normal circumstance. To your other doubt, an incorrect statement would declare me to deserve your exclusive reverence, yet nevertheless my place when you serve a meal to the gods ought to be above all others. For I am Holzd.¡±


    That pronouncement struck Dirant like the lightning amid the rain, and the creature''s words grew in power though their volume remained constant. ¡°Under the names Mitistiggefokand and Paznitiklesdharbdigeng does the Adaban tribe worship me, but even more when you say bolsadi [complicated] or bolsatetli [overcomplicated], for in those words you remember my name and my province as he who yearns for complexity, and because of that I permit you to put those little tails on the Bs as some writers do. They pray to me in everyday speech, the common man does, and the pious in formal liturgies, but from you is the sincerest adoration felt, for every ritual is a prayer in the form I love the most, and through them I work miracles for the good of my little Ritualists who are my priests, as your status clearly indicates.¡±


    Though by this time his body trembled with religious awe, Dirant''s mind maintained its composure sufficiently for him to ponder whether what was happening to him might be the effect of some monster''s special powers. He was taking a mental inventory of his defensive tools starting with the knife he kept in case of sudden meal opportunities and ending with the Lightning Ritual he saved through his Ritual Delay ability when that last claim jolted him. He checked his status from top to bottom but saw nothing about priests or Holzds. ¡°What is that indication? It is too clear for me perhaps, and that is the reason I see nothing of it. It is the same with untinted mabonnpaper.¡±


    Holzd leaned forward a degree or two and smiled, if gods or monsters had the same expressions as men. ¡°Warranted by my unquenchable curiosity is how we will label an investigation of this phenomenon, since an abnormality in status has behind it an explanation so convoluted, if real, that I want to learn about it more than anything. Present your status. The top third alone will suffice, or the head as Adabans call it.¡±


    Immediately tasteful white letters and numbers appeared in the air beside Dirant. He had obeyed the command to flash his status before the cultural revulsion Adabans held for showing off one''s numbers in public caused him to hesitate, and he wondered at the power of the creature''s compulsion.


    Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.


    <blockquote>


    Ritualist


    xxxxxxxx


    LV 6 650/1000


    </blockquote>


    Skepticism backed by evidence began its counterattack against superstitions that depended on human credulousness. ¡°It is some fault of mine I am sure, but I see nothing about any priesthood there. It is of course good to be sure of our facts.¡± Perhaps it was unwise to permit himself any smugness in an interaction with an entity that, whatever it was called, likely could kill him easily, but then again, he might as well entertain himself before the encounter had its conclusion he was without means to avert.


    Holzd tilted his head left, did a handstand to take a look from a different angle, returned to a seated position, and tilted his head right. ¡°That is very curious, since as you must know, every class excepting only that peculiar Zero class possessed by those who have not yet attained level 1 derives its power from a god and is a priest thereof, yet here we see no . . . Is that a smudge? Stay still. I will answer your unspoken prayer by cleaning your dirty status forthwith.¡± Holzd licked a finger on his right hand, four-fingered at the time, and extended his purple-sleeved arm far beyond the length it possessed a moment before so that it reached several feet from the boundary marker all the way to the Ritualist''s status suspended in the air, visible but intangible as all knew. While Dirant watched, as discombobulated as he had ever been since first Mr. Donnlink told him there were no other rituals that needed performing that day, the moistened finger rubbed away the xxxxxxxx and left this:


    <blockquote>


    Ritualist


    Priest of Holzd


    LV 6 650/1000


    </blockquote>


    And in addition, there was this:


    <blockquote>


    Ability Class Perception (Divine) gained.


    </blockquote>


    The notice appeared to him alone. He checked his full status (without displaying it of course; he was still an Adaban) and saw he had indeed gained said ability, the description of which promised the user henceforth would be able to discern hidden elements within a status display, whether his or those belonging to others. All such revelations would be presented in orange for his convenience just as ¡°Priest of Holzd¡± was just then.


    Holzd''s smugness matched Dirant''s and surpassed it by as far as gods surpassed humans, or as humans the beasts of their flocks and dinner tables. ¡°Rejoice, my priest, rejoice, for I have come in answer to your silent prayer that you be given a task worthy of a Ritualist, and by your impressive Receptivity, the stat which governs a human''s capacity to receive and channel power from beyond your world, you perceive now my glory that before was hidden. If you reach level 11, the ability to request a divine mission at any time will become available, but if we compare whether the level system or I is the more solicitous of my little priests, I refuse to be the loser. Today you made a delivery. Too simple. Read this.¡±


    The god, as Dirant faced increasing difficulty not considering him, produced a small box from nothing, shook a scroll out of it, and offered that with the six-fingered hand. His Ritualist unrolled it, more used to the archaic format than members of most classes on account of the unsuitability of codex pages for holding ritual instructions, and was advised by his Ritual Judgment that he indeed looked at instructions for a legitimate ritual. Even in those circumstances fraught with divine significance, his professional detachment cultivated over years of study took over and allowed him to analyze the scroll''s contents. ¡°Hm. A non-simple unaccented third-course standard-tool Aemuiaxan monotone permissive idyllic ritual. The desired effect is not described.¡±


    ¡°If ever any man or god is moved to question why my little Ritualists are loved by me so, the answer is there between ''a'' and ''unaccented,'' for what other class, describing its own operations, finds ''simple'' and ''complex'' insufficient and must invent the risible term ''non-simple?'' Let us not pass over ''Aemuiaxan.'' No slighter a term could bear the weight of expressing the concept of a chant comprising sounds but not words. Sublime.¡±


    ¡°Such terminology is required in order¡ª¡°


    ¡°Heed now the mission contrived for the satisfaction of your devotional impulses, to say nothing of a yearning for non-commercial activity often experienced by the salaried employee. In the city of Wessolp, capital of the state of Wessolp which is not alone in being a member of Greater Enloffenkir, there is a temple of mine where the caretakers hold to the venerable custom, little observed today, as part of which they take a likeness of me in my aspect as Mitistiggefokand and bathe it once every 22.3 years in a body of water determined according to a method of no importance for the present.


    ¡°This was last done earlier this year in the Ontoffemmiror River that runs, I need not tell you but will, through Fennizen and many prosperous places other. The washer this time the blessed river favored by carrying away the icon in its mighty current. He went away pleased as the unlearned in proper ceremony never would be, for the only better sign than that is if the likeness is restored to the temple within a number of days equal to the phase of the moon when the thing was lost (a waxing moon being represented by 2 as an example) multiplied by the age of the washer in months, 364 in this case, divided by the number of fingers he used in the washing. That was the full ten, giving us somewhat over a month left before my faithful in Wessolp have a replacement carved, which is no great imposition but one that can be avoided. For you see, the icon washed ashore near Fennizen and was carried away by an otter to its holt.¡±


    ¡°And this ritual, then . . .¡±


    ¡°As you guessed, it is an Otter Holt Blessed by a Sacred Statue Location Facilitation Ritual.¡±


    Since Holzd seemed more godlike with every intricate sentence, Dirant began to hope he would live. The relief helped his brain start working again, and it made some connections. ¡°And the company which employs me was founded by my father, who was inspired to feats of entrepreneurship when he saw an otter drop a fish only for it to be stolen by an eagle. That woeful spectacle demonstrated to him the importance of reliable transport.¡±


    ¡°These facts may not be unrelated, just as you guessed, unlike earlier when I suggested you guessed the name and purpose of the ritual as a joke between us. I charge you to find my icon and deliver it to my temple in Wessolp. You may carry it in this box. I permit you to take the further step of cleaning the place up a little upon your arrival which a realistic assessment prevents me, ever a truth-teller, from calling assured for the reason that you may have some difficulty gaining entrance to the city on account of the war. Rejoice and pray, little Ritualist!¡±


    ¡°Nothing about a war involving Wessolp has been reported,¡± Dirant objected, but to no one. Holzd had disappeared, and along with him went the pressure his purported priest had felt, replaced by a suspicion he had somehow been had. But then, Kitslofers always felt that way.

 4. On Research

    The Consultation Of Established Authorities Is, While Occasionally Necessary, Generally Better Avoided In Favor Of Newer Theories


    Dirant Rikelta''s Ritual Judgment failed to tell him the otter ritual was fake no matter under what lighting conditions he read it or how hard he wished for it to indicate such. Nor did the purported effect of the ritual give him any grounds for suspicion, as much as a layman might think it a joke. Specific effects meant controllable effects, and modern Ritualists prized them highly for that reason. Dirant smiled when he remembered old Professor Patarenk Eltnisfoken at Todelk, who insisted all his students learn a ritual he had devised himself which fortified a tree branch so that it could bear a greater weight (equal to the performer''s Receptivity in pounds) for a certain duration (equal to Receptivity in minutes). Whenever the professor drank at all, long before he became plastered, he recounted how he salvaged the decoration scheme for an important event by coming up with that ritual on the spot so that a convenient tree could be used as an anchor. No, the otter ritual appeared real or at least plausible to a practicing Ritualist. Beyond that, the idea that rituals functioned as prayers explained why they were so weird, though people within the class preferred not to put it that way.


    A setback for the cause of rational skepticism, but other evidence backed it up. None of Dirant''s acquaintances who followed the various periodicals that reported on startling deeds of the ostentatious condottieri to whom most of Greater Enloffenkir''s internal disputes were entrusted had heard of any Wessolp war, and of course no foreign countries were attacking or being attacked at the time by any GE members. The score in the match between belief and disbelief was one all.


    As judge of the contest within his own mind, Dirant had to decide what evidence would count as a point in either direction. Taking the idea Holzd was some sort of monster seriously, monsters were thoroughly studied out of necessity. If he learned a monster of that description existed, there was a point for skepticism; if he did not, there was a point for his having poor research skills, but he committed himself to counting that as a point in favor of true divinity out of fairness.


    His work engrossed him to the same degree as always, leaving him time to think and eventually resolve to visit a library when the work day ended. Fennizen offered several of those, of course. Its business leaders, politicians, and business leaders who went into politics for a bit before they became antsy and started a new company needed shelves for their memoirs, after all. Dirant was familiar with none of them. Todelk''s he knew well even to the extent of which had the most tolerant librarians and least comfortable chairs, but not Fennizen''s.


    He chose the Routine Archives on the basis that the most ominous building should house the most monster-related information, and if it did not, that was the fault of the staff and not his aesthetic preferences. The chosen library lacked windows entirely, so serious the architect had been about document preservation. A mass of brown bricks with no external decoration other than four spires at the roof corners made up the pile. Placed among the better-appointed edifices on its street, the Routine Archives building resembled an unmarried uncle waiting for his young nieces and nephews to finish their preparations so he can escort them to the party, willing to humor them as to their desire to put forth the most dazzling appearance possible but feeling no compulsion in that area himself.


    The friendliness of the staff compensated for the place''s forbidding appearance, and after parting with a tiny fee of three ezolas he was assured would supplement donations and grants to ensure maintenance costs and wages were met, Dirant stood inside among rows of bookshelves and columns of scroll stands, sniffing the smell of knowledge that happened to be identical to the Mold Prevention Ritual''s aftereffects but muted a bit by other odors. It was as if he had never left the Stadeskosken warehouse.


    The notice near the entrance indicated the third floor kept all monster-related non-fiction, as well as other subjects of course, and he went on up. The other patrons on that floor, if judged by the weapons an exceedingly liberal library policy allowed them to bring inside, added credibility to the notice''s claims by representing the more physically oriented classes likelier than Ritualists to have monster business. A bow belonged perhaps to a Pinpointer, a lithe Acrobat wrapped herself around a quarterstaff as she read something with Bounty in the title, and there sat a Tiger Knight, or at least Dirant hoped he was one such and not just an eccentric with a pet tiger. Remembering he had not been so much as asked his class and certainly not required to prove it, he nodded at the probable Tiger Knight in passing on his way to some shelf far away from the chair where that patron sat, his signature animal dozing at his feet.


    Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.


    The contents of the third-floor shelves seemed oriented more toward people who wanted information about a specific monster already identified rather than his situation, but he continued searching. Among those detailed treatments he found investigations into whether rumored monsters such as the bekirbird existed or were folk inventions, which sounded interesting for later perusal but not immediately relevant. Dirant at last found a promising volume entitled A Compendium of All Such Unusual Creatures as Are Called Monsters and began his study.


    ¡°Out of all the surprises life has hurled at me, the top must be when I realized I''m now taller than my father. Behind that is becoming someone who wishes a book had more pictures. Where meeting my god sits must wait on proof that it in fact occurred.¡± Such was his conclusion after paging through the Compendium for most of an hour. None of the descriptions matched Holzd, though much might be hidden in unfamiliar phrasings and terminology he imagined Battlers, Myrmidons, and that general category of people regarded as nothing exceptional. The fellow walking by who looked big enough to be a Brawny Knight would have devoured the Compendium whole and choked on the lightest introduction to ritualism, he supposed.


    Dirant''s evident dissatisfaction attracted an inquisitive librarian, a distinct type from the ones who just as soon would have kicked out every single patron and barred the door. A middle-aged woman wearing a pale gray dress of exactly the sort Dirant expected to fill a librarian''s wardrobe, whose curly brown hair indicated some Rik or Ottkir ancestry if not something more exotic such as Survyai, approached and asked, ¡°At an impasse, young scholar?¡±


    ¡°I confess that I am. I wish to gain some certainty as to the nature of an encounter I had that was far from usual for me, and I have nothing but a description to begin my inquiry.¡±


    He gave said description at the urging of the librarian. She knew a bit more about the relevant topic than he did. ¡°Why, but that can be nothing but Paznitiklesdharbdigeng, he who instructed man in the religious ceremonies most pleasing to him and the other gods, though they accepted ruder forms as expressions of genuine if unpracticed devotion. The one detail that I cannot recall from any depiction is the number of digits on his hands. Though often hands are not included in paintings and statues as they distract from a noble visage.¡±


    ¡°Ah. Well.¡± Whether this was as common knowledge as the librarian''s reaction implied or simply something people like her knew, Dirant could not decide. Never in Todelk University had he been embarrassed by his ignorance of religious matters, and he tried to maintain his customary equanimity even though he feared a blush was coming on. ¡°Does this god have another name? Holzd perhaps, or Miti . . . Miti . . .¡±


    ¡°That''s right. Mitistiggefokand, or Mitastikkefokant in a more modern rendering. He appears as a man of dignity under that name, for he is the guide to the laws. I suppose he is far more often worshiped as Mitistiggefokand than as Paznitiklesdharbdigeng these days, which makes your confusion more understandable. Where did you see his likeness? A rural shrine, some painting in a wealthy man''s less-visited rooms, or an icon washed up beside some lake? Somewhere else?¡±


    ¡°None of those.¡± The thought presented itself to Dirant that he ought to dodge the question as he did when when unsure what his father, professor, or supervisor wanted to hear, but he rejected it. The gods did appear at times, did they not? The legends were full of such instances. He did not credit them, or formerly had not, but surely the number of such claims even into the present day would prevent someone from thinking him unhinged for adding one to them. ¡°It was no likeness but the entity himself that I saw sitting on a boundary marker in the southern hills.¡±


    ¡°Young scholar! Can it be that you are a Ritualist?¡± At his nod, the librarian all but exploded with enthusiasm, restrained only by the damage that would have done to the books. ¡°Wonderful! They say the Ritualists with the most distinguished careers have often reported seeing the bestower of ceremonies when they started out. You must give me your name so I can follow your rise. By the way, my name is Orid Herabaozen. Because of my position I am customarily called Miss Curator, despite that I am married. Our meeting is a blessing for me.¡±


    ¡°No less for me. My name is Dirant Rikelta, and I recommend against putting money on any sort of rise on my part unless your financial situation is entirely stable.¡±


    ¡°I wouldn''t know how to bet on something like that. Come with me to the temple records on the first floor where you will learn all about the guide of rites.¡±


    He followed her down the stairs and asked along the way, ¡°Why are temple records kept here?¡±


    She looked back, astonished again. ¡°This is the Routine Archives! Of course we keep routine temple records here. This institution was founded when space at the various temples started to run out. All these other books,¡± she waved one hand around, ¡°are extra materials that accumulated in the course of things.¡±


    Dirant wondered how many Fennizen residents out of a hundred knew that. The answer would have a strong bearing on whether he ought to feel embarrassed to a greater or lesser degree than he did, which was some.

 5. Acceptance Of Generosity

    Often It Is Labeled Such When Without Justification The Better-Positioned Are Elevated Above The Capable


    After all that, the only choices were to look for the icon of the confirmed god or change classes. The latter option required consideration, as unattractive as it was. First, he feared what his father would think. Probably nothing. He might never even notice. Dirant did not wish to bear such an emotional blow for no reason. Second, what class would be better?


    He qualified for Sleet Master, but the employment opportunities for that seemed limited to working in restaurants at the southern beaches that served icy treats. His Discernment and Sticktoitiveness disqualified him from the exciting, dynamic field of being a Distorter, while his stats in general seemed a little too good for Functionary. ¡°I apologize to Dirone for attacking him indirectly within my musings,¡± he thought. ¡°I must remember to do so openly later.¡±


    No, he wanted to be nothing but a Ritualist. His one discontent with the class was that he spent too little time doing it, and there in his hands was a new ritual to try. Such was the line of reasoning that caused him, a week later, to have in his possession two statuettes, each a bit taller than his fingers were long, and further the revelation that otters outstripped him in piety if not in the good order of their lairs. As for the fact that the two icons fit snugly in the little wooden box Holzd had given him, that functioned as yet further evidence against the monster hypothesis, for never had he heard of one interested in carpentry.


    A visit to the Routine Archives confirmed that the one wearing robes and a dignified expression represented Mitisomething. As for the other, even Miss Curator had no idea what god or hero it portrayed. Dirant kept it in the box to prevent a situation wherein another god showed up and smote the impious Ritualist who had thrown his icon in a drawer. He estimated the chance of that at far higher than the zero out of a hundred it ought to have been according to contemporary understanding.


    That done, he had nothing before him but to consider how to get to Wessolp. The map he bought assured him that city lay days north-northeast of Fennizen near Greater Enloffenkir''s border with Pavvu Omme Os. In fact, the state of Wessolp made up a small portion of that border. A single day would not suffice for the trip, even if he ran out at lunch again. Sending a courier would have been easy, but Holzd''s mention of cleaning the temple implied Dirant should do it himself even though no further rituals seemed necessary.


    There was nothing for it but to ask for time off. Five days might do it if he hurried, but seven would be better. He mustered his courage even as he preserved loads of strawberries intended for winter distribution and was all ready to argue his case to Mr. Donnlink afterward, only to see him engaged in conversation with the owner of Stadeskosken himself, Haderslant Rikelta.


    Whatever was under discussion must not have been too pressing, for the Ritualist supervisor addressed Dirant when he saw him. ¡°Done and logged, Mr. Dirant?¡±


    ¡°Done and logged, Mr. Donnlink. Is there anything else to be done?¡± Dirant told himself to pretend he had not yet seen his father. ¡°For the next several days?¡±


    ¡°Hm? What''s that?¡± Donnlink''s eyebrows raised.


    ¡°He''s asking for vacation time, Mr. Donnlink, in the roundabout sort of way you''d expect from one of Ideslad''s children, all peace to her.¡± Haderslant scratched his mutton chops. ¡°Er, you are one of hers?¡± Dirant nodded.


    ¡°Good, excellent. It was easier to keep you all separate when you had two mothers, but now, well, you can handle yourselves anyway. You did fine when the next one fell in the river and you had to get help to fish him out, and you were twelve then.¡±


    ¡°And you remember that?¡± True surprise assailed Dirant, the sort usually felt only when one''s god shows up on a rock next to the road.


    ¡°I''m your father, son. Of course I remember that.¡±


    ¡°There is doubt about who my mother is, or Dirthree''s name, but you remember that?¡± Dirtwo was blurting out what he would have warned himself not to given time to reflect, if only out of a concern for privacy to say nothing of upholding his family''s prestige in front of all the employees in the warehouse, who were trying hard to hide their grins and keep down their whispers. They already more or less already knew about everything that happened in Haderslant''s household if they were curious about it, but still.


    ¡°Names, son, are less than deeds.¡± Any outside observer, Donnlink perhaps, would have been awed by Haderslant''s impregnable dignity. Dirant was less impressed by that, since he had seen his father beg any passing servant or son to help him button up one of these ridiculous new-fashion vests that got popular for who-knows-what reason. He admitted Haderslant had a point worthy of a fabulously successful man, though.


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    The fabulously successful man continued. ¡°I don''t say this matters, but why is it you want time off? Have the pressures of work become a little much, or is it for your honeymoon perhaps?¡± Haderslant switched to Donnlink. ¡°He has been working?¡±


    ¡°Yes, Mr. Haderslant. As much as any of our Ritualists.¡±


    Dirant wondered if his father would ever get around to asking who the woman he had supposedly just married was, and that led him to remember that he was older than his father had been when Silone was born. Alarmed, he abandoned that subject entirely. ¡°It''s to fulfill a religious obligation.¡±


    Haderslant stuck his hand between a couple of his vest buttons and nodded a few times. ¡°Obligations, yes. Those are important. Always get out of them as quickly as you can. I didn''t think you were religious, but that doesn''t prevent you from racking up an obligation or two. How about it, Mr. Donnlink? How long could you spare this Ritualist?¡±


    The supervisor looked over the logs. ¡°As far as the Preservation Ritual goes, the next is scheduled for twelve days from now. For other rituals, there aren''t any for the next month. Now when it comes to adding manpower to other departments . . .¡±


    ¡°Fine, tremendous. Take twelve days off.¡± Haderslant laid a paternal or perhaps businesslike hand on Dirant''s shoulder. ¡°That''s the normal formulation, but you must understand that in all this world there is no such thing as ''time off.'' During these twelve days you''ll still be representing Stadeskosken, and more importantly, you''ll be representing yourself. Be sure to advance your interests. Don''t just lie in the grass and drool. Now go, go, go, right now!¡± He shooed away Dirant, who left full of vigor conferred by the unforeseen length of his freedom and what sounded like good advice for him to contemplate during his trip.


    His ready disposability might have bothered him except that, as he told Silthree later, ¡°The pleasure strawberry-lovers will have because of my efforts causes all doubts of my worth to fade away.¡±


    ¡°I, too, often think of the strawberry-lovers,¡± Silthree answered.


    Twelve days. That gave him more than enough time to pass leisurely over the country to Wessolp, enjoying the local specialties along the way if there were any. Ever since the formation of the confederation, each state in the GE had set about distinguishing itself from the rest by peculiar foods, fairs, sports, and springs rumored to have rejuvenative properties. Not all had succeeded, of course. Then he could stay in Wessolp to enjoy its charms and perhaps make some progress toward that honeymoon idea.


    That was the typical holiday spirit, but something else drove him. A god, according to evidence he could not refute, had assigned him a holy mission. Moreover, he had gotten twelve days off work, a thing even less conceivable within his previous understanding of the world, which he must therefore discard as a bundle of falsehoods. What he ought to believe instead he did not know, but he was sure he wanted to get on with whatever it was he needed to do. He began to comprehend the seemingly bizarre religious practices people invented, for without a clear outlet for his present enthusiasm, the feeling swirled around and around his body until he was tempted to punch a random pedestrian in the hope the act might transmit it to someone else.


    Along every major road out of Fennizen as well as others throughout the confederation, Stadeskosken ran posts where its couriers could change horses as an aid to rapid travel. To send urgent communications to distant offices was the primary purpose of the post network, but Haderslant allowed people not on official company errands to pay him for their use. Employees even received a discount, though few ever had occasion to enjoy that perk. Dirant could make use of it and be in Wessolp with most of his vacation time remaining. When he decided that, he grew as sure of his course as he felt his father must have when he saw that otter robbed of its fish.


    It was an exhilarated Dirant, one restrained only by the presence of others on the street from attempting cartwheels, settling for a decorous skip in his step which reminded others about that happiness was acceptable even in public, who endeavored to hire a horse from the Stadeskosken stables at the edge of the city on the northward road. The manager of course had to charge him a fee. Stadeskosken employee? The discount, then. What was his name, for the records? Dirant Rikelta? Ah, perhaps the secret discount was warranted.


    Dirant handed over twenty ezolas rather than twenty-eight for regular employees or forty-five plus a contract specifying penalties for injuries to the horse for outsiders. The saved money pleased him, and more than that he again admired the blooming idea first planted by Silone that, at times, people might show him favor on account of his father which the father in question most assuredly would not. He had always viewed such favoritism as something that other people strove to achieve; at last he was learning it could be something simply to be accepted by those who lacked obstinate pride such as, for example, Dirant Rikelta.


    Then he was out on the concrete road, yards wide, a fine example of the infrastructure made possible by the establishment of Greater Enloffenkir. Member states in the past had their internal road networks, but military considerations caused them to choke off routes with narrow sections, misleading paths, fortresses, and consciously cultivated woods. The existence of the confederation and regulations imposed by its members to limit the destructiveness of conflicts among themselves encouraged a revolution in road-building with the result that the speed of land-bound travel within the GE surpassed that of all other countries. Safety improved as well when states began to entrust their wars to the condottieri and to wield their own militaries against highwaymen.

 6. Relief From Routine

    Travel Abroad Takes One On An Endless Path Deeper Inside Oneself


    In such circumstances as that, with an easy road below, a clear autumn sky above, and to the sides much work being done to remind him he was on vacation by contrast, even a traveler as desirous of speed as Ritualist Dirant Rikelta could hardly help but enjoy his journey. Laborers in the fields he passed brought in this harvest or that while other plots waited for their turn. Dirant knew little of the intricacies of farming, though his Stadeskosken work was giving him a better sense of what grew when. In the towns along the way he saw, through windows covered with that wondrously thin mabonnpaper which came in tints to delight those inside, plenty of activities more familiar to him as people corrected labels, made entries, and endeavored to satisfy their superiors. He wondered how much of what was being done needed to be, how much of what needed to be was not, and how to judge which was what. The gods'' instruction, he supposed a pious person would say, and yet Holzd did not give him the impression of a deity interested in clearing things up for anyone. ¡°He who yearns for complexity,¡± did he not say?


    Dirant switched horses three times and reached Klintk late in the day. The map''s assurance that the town of Klintk sat approximately halfway between Fennizen and Wessolp encouraged him to give up on traveling farther for the time being, put up at a hotel, and count how much money he had saved by virtue of his unreasonable discount. The post fees alone had cost him 80 ezolas rather than 140, more than a silver dommiskhanen less. Granted that the room cost more than that by itself, but a hill is no less a hill for all that the mountain is a mountain. He counted coins till he fell asleep.


    The next morning pressed upon him the limitations of Horse Riding (Basic). Dirant waddled down the stairs, leaning on the railing in the way the architect hoped someone one day would without any real hope for it, and navigated his sore lower half into a chair to wait for the promised breakfast. The other guests, ten or so, came in with less evident trouble, and partway into the cornbread Dirant felt sounder himself. He decided, in the arrogant optimism of youth, that he had enough in him to travel on at the same rate as the day before.


    <blockquote>


    Ability Horse Riding (Intermediate) gained.


    </blockquote>


    And there was the proof. Dirant''s mood reached vacation optimums, and he engaged in lively conversation with his fellow travelers that became livelier when the hotel staff brought in the morning broadsheets.


    ¡°Today''s governments waste no time in going to war, is it not so?¡± An Ottkir from the far south of Greater Enloffenkir who was touring the drier parts of the north on his doctor''s orders reported the news as he read it in that excited manner tourists relieved from the burdens of public respectability for a short time often adopt. ¡°Patkaodotenlilk''s hired mercenary captain has already offered siege to Wessolp, so soon into the controversy. Oh! And it''s that man, Istent!¡±


    That spurred some talk. Istent Aradetnaf, the most famous condottiero in all Greater Enloffenkir, whose dazzling exploits not just the condottiero followers knew, and not only the typical workplace gossiper either, but even the academics who preferred to have as little awareness of the vulgar as possible, inevitably made a stir if he accepted even the most mundane contract.


    ¡°That son of his, Kelnsolt, is the besieger!¡± Oh. Never mind. Only the deepest enthusiasts cared about him, and their affections ran in an unkind direction. In other places where that news was being read, people were already taking sides against Patkaodotenlilk for hiring that particular mercenary captain regardless of the matter under contention. ¡°Wessolp for its part sent a message to Ganarant Pneklig with the intention of retaining his services, but it''s gotten itself surrounded already like a turtle afraid to put out its little feet. That''s the fate of the sluggish in all times and places you must agree.¡±


    If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    They did agree. Dirant picked up his legs from the floor to imitate the turtle, since he felt as slow as one, and asked, ¡°And what is this controversy? Or should I have kept my silence and pretended to false sagacity?¡±


    ¡°That''s my policy,¡± the Rik architect on his way to Heweker territory said to some chuckles.


    The health-driven Ottkir seized the chance to give his view on the matter. ¡°The thing stood this way at first. The lord mayors of Wessolp and the seven councilors of Patkaodotenlilk have had their disputes and their rivalries, the usual strife that keeps all our states interested in one another''s affairs. Now the current lord mayor, whose name I recall as Odinol Emmofoken, may his parents forgive me if I disfigured it, made overtures of cooperation. The result was to be that Patkaodotenlilk would bring Wessolp in as a partner in some copper mines, and with the new capital they would expand the operation to the profit of both. They sealed the deal with an agreement for His Honor Odinol to marry the daughter of one of the councilors, and everything was settled. Peace, profit, what more could be desired?


    ¡°A little hitch came up, a little wave in the pool, an itch in your new shirt. Patkaodotenlilk listened to an offer from Tabiligdum to buy the city out of the mines altogether, which would free it up to pursue other financial opportunities. The thing was done just like that. Everyone was happy. Did we forget someone? Ah, Wessolp, of course. The mayor complained. A breach of contract, a violation of trust, Tabiligdum is not even a signatory to the confederation. What do we think of a man who favors a stranger over his brothers? We all love to hear speeches of this kind, but as far as action, he was without recourse and could assay only one deed of defiance. He broke the engagement. The deal was off so the deal was off, was it not? But the councilor whose daughter it is, I will say Sintaf Aomalptig though I fear he will hire condottieri against me if I get his name wrong, shouted blood and wept poison as he urged Patkaodotenlilk to go to war and force the marriage through. And so it did, well, the war at least.¡±


    The guests who did not have to worry about entering Wessolp on the orders of a god who had warned them some such event might increase the difficulty of the task appreciated the account fully, and Dirant partially. He thanked the Ottkir man for explaining the situation while internally he added the fulfillment of Holzd''s prophecy to the score for his being an actual god. That score was becoming embarrassing for the other side, which gratified Dirant because he had already jumped over to support the winning team like the worst sort of fan.


    He set out again, stopped at another three posts along the way, and deep in the evening saw the mercenary army camped before the walls of Wessolp. It was fortunate for the lord mayor that his city did have walls. Fennizen did not, unless one counted the stretches in the old quarter that no longer surrounded anything after the period when the government allowed citizens to buy licenses for knocking chunks out for housing material, though the shade they still provided on a summer day made them a popular recreation spot. Wessolp''s fortifications looked strong and distinguished on account of their stones of regular shape and size piled to a height greater than Silthree on Dirant''s shoulders, according to the estimate he made while wondering how many stacked Rikeltas it would take to sneak inside. At least three but more likely four, he estimated.


    As for the mercenaries, Dirant called upon his experience in counting troops to determine the number of soldiers. A thousand? He had no idea. At any rate, there were enough to conduct a standard intra-GE siege wherein they stopped anyone attempting to enter the city, checked for weapons or military communications, and wished the traveler a nice day. Dirant returned the compliment and rode to the gate, where the guards refused him entry on the basis that only known persons, Wessolp''s citizens in particular, were permitted inside for reasons they hoped did not require further explanation, as much as they understood it complicated his affairs. An employee of a company dealing primarily in transportation? That put him in the second-highest priority category for exclusion, right after Kelnsolt Aradetnaf''s mercenaries.


    Enterprising farmers around the city had converted their houses into lodgings for stranded travelers. Not only did guests get the full rooster-waking experience, but the prices were lower than at the Klintk hotel. Possibly the farmers had not visited it and therefore suffered from a skewed sense of pricing. Dirant took advantage of the convenience after he returned his horse to the previous post.

 7. The Cold Hospitality Of Shut Gates

    Never Was He Welcome Where He Wanted Nor Unwelcome Where He Trusted Not One More Step Would He Trod


    Anyone wishing to avoid the usual tourist spots always must put in a little effort, and never more so than when wanting to visit Wessolp''s possibly historic temple to whatever the locals called Holzd. The next day and a half yielded to Dirant knowledge of every gate, every dip in the wall that made no difference to someone incapable of a vertical leap never achieved by the highest-level Acrobats, and the outlet of Wessolp''s sophisticated sewer system which was guarded and also tiny and full of sewage. He memorized the city more fully than his father had his family members'' names, but none of that got him inside.


    Watching the city and its siege-lessened traffic from the top of the tallest tree on the greatest height within sight of Wessolp he had found, a rise a desperate mapmaker might label a hill to add some topographical interest, he developed a plan he calculated as most likely to remedy his current complaint of being stuck outside. Firm in his resolution, he shimmied down and met a stranger.


    ¡°Is the tree free now?¡± The man who asked the question possessed black eyes to go along with the black hair of the typical Adaban, though his exposed forehead and restrained sideburns gave the impression of a traveler abroad recently returned or else someone plain not up to date. His tailor had better taste, judging by his superbly stylish vest. He appeared a little older than Dirant, a little taller, and a good bit more athletic.


    ¡°It is, and I recommend it. The view is as good as any that can be had. The thin air cannot support idle thoughts, which tumble down to the ground so that decisions are made more easily.¡± Dirant bowed and gestured toward the trunk.


    ¡°That''s just what I want.¡± The other grabbed a gnarl, raised one foot, and paused. ¡°But perhaps you can spare me the effort. I wanted to think of a way to infiltrate Wessolp. Is it different for you, or?¡±


    ¡°It''s the same.¡± So as not to sound like an unsavory character, Dirant added, ¡°I have a religious obligation.¡±


    ¡°Do you have an idea? Since you praised the tree so fulsomely.¡±


    ¡°I do, and it is one simple enough that it might be executed by a novice such as I am. My plan is reverse bribery.¡±


    The prospective tree-climber came away from the tree to give Dirant his full attention. ¡°You''ll make the guards pay you to go away?¡±


    ¡°A good scheme from a financial perspective, and yet for now I must restrict myself to methods of entry. Because of the religious obligation. The fundamental concept is that as suspicious as it would be for me to pay to get in, just as expected must it be for me to be paid to enter. That is, I will endeavor to have some farmer hire me to haul cargo inside, as I have observed is done all during the day despite the siege.¡±


    ¡°Good, but who is this farmer who will cooperate?¡±


    ¡°I go now to find one.¡±


    The other man put his hands in his pockets. ¡° I intend to honor you and shame myself by stealing your plan. It will be easy, since I have learned all the affairs of every farmer hereabouts who did not flee. I know just the man. The only apology I can make is an offer that we go into it together, since I think a two-man job will alarm the guards less.¡±


    That suited Dirant just fine, but his Mercantile Fundamentals ability urged him to press for a better deal. ¡°I agree to that, and I think a licensing fee for my idea would ensure a productive relationship.¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Ah. You''ve seen through the weakness of my position, and I wonder if you also have Mercantile Fundamentals.¡±


    ¡°No, but Negotiating Fundamentals does just as well in this situation.¡± He offered his hand, Dirant took it, and away they went.


    ¡°Our meeting is a blessing for me. My name is Dirant Rikelta, and I look forward to our joint undertaking soon to be glorified by success.¡±


    ¡°No less for me. I''m Kelnsolt Aradetnaf.¡±


    ¡°Ah. Eh. Uh. Oh.¡± Dirant''s mind told him he was perhaps getting in over his head, his heart reminded him that to his knowledge Wessolp was entirely in the right as far as this dispute went, and his legs went right along walking. After all, everyone knew the high standards of restraint and mercy possessed by modern mercenaries. His condottieri-following friends never shut up about it. In any case, what business was it of his? Greater Enloffenkir member states went to war all the time, and it was only the outsider who tried to interfere who received blame.


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    Reassured by the culturally approved answer, he made an attempt to hold up his side of the conversation without evincing any of the discomfort that troubled him. They were both men of the world in the end, and therefore unresponsive to vague feelings.


    Kelnsolt turned out to be unresponsive to most things, saying little beyond ¡°Yes,¡± ¡°No,¡± and ¡°Possibly so.¡± Like a true gentleman, only external, factual matters inspired him to more elaborate speech. ¡°The farm we want is close. We''ll be inside within two hours I am sure. Contingent upon the farmer''s cooperation of course.¡±


    Dirant glanced over and brought up an objection that had occurred to him during the walk. ¡°There is this difficulty with the plan as it stands. Must not the guards recognize the condottiero sent against them? And, if it is not too galling to hear a layman comment on your profession, is it not the custom to wait for your hired opponent so that the two of you may advance in notoriety together through your gallant contest?¡±


    ¡°I have 8 Panache. That answers both questions.¡± Though Kelnsolt''s face remained serious, Dirant believed he saw some twitching of features, a sign the mercenary struggled to suppress his amusement. He tried to play along.


    ¡°8? A claim impossible to believe without proof, or even with it.¡±


    ¡°But here it is.¡± Kelnsolt flashed the head and body of his status, and there it was.


    Symbol Knight


    Priest of Eoa


    LV 12 40/1000


    HP 382


    Muscle 74 (+7)


    Coordination 46 (+8)


    Verve 47 (+3)


    Sticktoitiveness 37


    Discernment 50 (+6)


    Gumption 63 (+4)


    Tit-for-Tat 35 (+1)


    Receptivity 70 (+4)


    Panache 8


    Four points struck Dirant, and which of them did so the hardest he could not determine. There was a human alive in the world who did have as little as eight Panache. That was one. For the second, Kelnsolt''s readiness to provide the proof required against social convention indicated either how frequently he found it necessary to do so or else some interaction between etiquette and Panache Dirant had never considered. The third observation concerned how phenomenal Kelnsolt''s stats were, to an extent that in other circumstances might have done damage to Dirant''s self-confidence.


    The fourth issue of interest, however, obscured everything else, that being the second line written in orange just as Dirant''s new Class Perception (Divine) had promised. He recalled then that Holzd had mentioned something about all classes being priests, but he was too concerned over his own position to think much about it. Who was Eoa? He should try to research that, likely a difficult task given that Holzd was known among Adabans by names so dissimilar to his real one.


    Dirant''s uninhibited reactions seemed to give Kelnsolt what he wanted, since he grinned and dropped his status again. ¡°For more proof, did you know who I was when we met? Or were you surprised to learn someone like me is one of those flashy condottieri?¡±


    ¡°The latter, admittedly.¡± Dirant recovered himself. ¡°I accept that it is only the circumstances which make you stand out so much that I can''t imagine ever forgetting what you look like or letting you in my city, if you come to it on martial business. If we set aside style, is there not the consideration of squeezing full value from the contract? You are the expert of course, and I only say I have heard words about some such practice.¡±


    ¡°Certainly those in my profession must have our accountants to calculate the optimal length of time to drag out the campaign based on the income promised for the duration of the contract versus the bonus for rapid completion our employers are generally canny enough to include in order to prevent excessive milking.¡± He delivered that in a cadence other than what he normally used, much as when a Ritualist uttered an invocation meaningful only in the context of a particular ritual. Based on that, Dirant suspected himself to have just heard a lecture often addressed to rookie mercenaries. ¡°But there is another factor that rules here. The rumors are that Baosnesk is preparing for a piracy-suppression campaign, and I will miss my chance to be part of it if I linger here.¡±


    ¡°Good luck to you then. By the way, does the name Eoa mean anything to you?¡±


    ¡°It does not. Wessolp has a temple to Aoda. Might there be a relationship, or?¡±


    ¡°It may be so. Is this the farm?¡±


    It was. Several of the seasonal laborers had come down with something, probably an illness brought by those mercenaries who traveled far and wide, contracting every illness on the continent (Kelnsolt shrugged), just when stuff needed hauling. The mercenaries were letting food through, which proved they anticipated a short contract, but short to an Adaban and short to a Pavvu were different matters, if they knew what she meant (Dirant indicated that he did). The farm wife in charge of such arrangements was willing to hire a couple haulers for the day so long as they could get a load into the city some local elite wanted for a siege-viewing party, but first she had to ask if they were mercenary spies.


    ¡°No,¡± Dirant said.


    ¡°Yes,¡± Kelnsolt confessed. By heroic effort he again kept his face straight when Dirant whipped around to stare at him. ¡°My profession depends on honesty. I''m sure you understand.¡±


    ¡°Wonderful.¡± Their new employer nodded. ¡°The best time to end this nonsense was yesterday. Besides that, the mayor needs a wife more than we need some mines way out near the Tahiliklisks. Invest in Wessolp is what I say. Now we must have you two dressed up properly. Do you require some accommodation to smuggle in weapons and such?¡±


    ¡°Not at all, but I thank you for your consideration.¡± Kelnsolt seemed confident. The question of weaponry had bothered Dirant, who knew little enough about what Symbol Knights actually did, but everyone always assured him they did it quite well as a rule. Besides, that was a problem for his temporary partner alone.

 8. The Modern Method Of Waging War

    The Soldier, Once Judged By His Courage And Discipline, Is Today An Actor By Another Name Who Finds An Encore Difficult To Put On For His Wounds


    The farmers in that region reserved their wagons and their mules for transportation away from the city. When it came to Wessolp-ward deliveries, they employed long, wooden boxes fitted with detachable wheels. A pair of workers rolled the contraption to the recipient and took the wheels back, leaving the box that was included in the price. Dirant and Kelnsolt conformed to the local practices and shoved the load to the mercenary checkpoint. The soldiers there made sure to give them as thorough an investigation as everything else that passed through, and they did so without making any sound that could be taken as indicating recognition, though Kelnsolt got some winks and nudges he told Dirant he would punish later. At the gates they encountered a tougher challenge. It was Dirant''s 44 Panache.


    ¡°I see you have come again. The tribute to our city is appreciated, that you cannot stay away.¡± One of the guards who had refused him upon his arrival happened to be manning the post.


    Dirant pushed aside his gratification at being more memorable than he believed. He had to exert all his wit and charisma. ¡°How can I? Its charms have remained the same even as I grow older. My funds diminish at a like rate as the years left to me, and so I took this side job. Please do not inform my employer.¡±


    ¡°That sounds somehow still suspicious to me,¡± the guard insisted, but others at the gate disagreed.


    ¡°You say that when I have seen you putting up posters advertising a lecture by a visiting historian. Even this job is full-time since the mercenaries came only, and I for one will miss them and my augmented pay.¡±


    ¡°That convinced me,¡± the first guard said. ¡°That I am being stalked. Am I so interesting? Now you, traveler, must show me your class, and I will say nothing more if it is inoffensive.¡±


    Everybody loved Ritualists, probably, and so it was the guard who had to bear the shame of forcing an honest Adaban to display his status in public like a bankrupted man who must expose his furniture for auction. Dirant and the much less conspicuous Kelnsolt passed into the city while behind them went on a great deal of mockery of the city''s lone cautious guard, if not quite cautious enough.


    As for Wessolp, it looked to Dirant like Fennizen but less so. The condottiero for his part saw it as nothing but a map he had memorized. The citizens seemed citizeny enough, but nothing more than that. So much for Wessolp''s charm. They delivered the box without difficulty. Dirant took the wheels and stuffed them in his rucksack of considerable size, since his partner was likely to be too involved in other matters to return them to their employer.


    Speaking of other matters, if he gained nothing else from the alleged mind-broadening benefits of travel, Dirant hoped to surprise people back home by equipping himself with borrowed expertise in the methods of the condottieri. He looked to see if any locals were in range before he spoke. ¡°Our productive partnership ends here amicably, and I suppose you will now contrive some way to allow your army entrance.¡±


    ¡°But I judge there is no need for them.¡± Kelnsolt was looking around, holding his thumb upraised. ¡°I will invite a few guests in. Together we should suffice. All that is wanted is to find a place where Symbolic Sense tells me the semiotic conditions are not too muddled for me to write my own symbols. By the way, the temples are in the northeast quarter of the city, but there are shrines all about. I don''t know which you want for your obligation.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡± Dirant took a step in the indicated direction, hesitated, and felt his 42 Tit-for-Tat urge him to return good for good and his Mercantile Fundamentals suggest the better a partnership ended, the easier and more profitable it might be to resume. ¡°The basis I have to suspect this is not likely something you would credit, and so take it in an appropriately skeptical spirit when I propose that a good place for you to go would be the temple of Aoda you mentioned.¡±


    Kelnsolt dropped his thumb. ¡°Sacred sites have a chancy aspect. The symbolism there is often straightforward, but sometimes complex. I''ll try it. Let''s have a sociable, unexceptional journey together among the temples.¡±


    Indeed, to see a pair of young gentlemen strolling down the street while they spoke of philosophical matters, the politics of the day, or their failures in the arena of romance could be accounted the second-most normal thing in the world, right after the sun''s morning emergence. No native Wessolper stopped them or even looked askance at the two before they reached the first of their destinations, the temple of Aoda.


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    The edifice''s notable feature which unquestionably bore some religious significance was its windows, which eschewed the usual rectangular shape and even the rarer circular form for a set of curves more similar to an hourglass, or a double hourglass if such existed. Perhaps in Drastlif. Apart from that, it fit unobtrusively among all the other modest, two-story buildings on either side. Inside it looked like a comfortable club meeting location, with tables and sofas spread around a desk which was adorned with a rude wooden statue, presumably a depiction of Aoda.


    Kelnsolt wandered around with his thumb up. ¡°Perfect. Will a temple of Aoda always work? I understand if there are limitations to your confidence.¡±


    Dirant, for his part, examined the statue without touching it on account of fearing that to be a sacrilegious act. ¡°I imagine so. Those limitations are tight indeed, however.¡±


    ¡°I''ll remember that. Good luck with your doings. Though you''re free to observe Symbol Knight methods if you wish to do so.¡±


    ¡°Curiosity keeps me here a moment longer then, even as it drives me to wonder which of these is the temple I want.¡± Dirant opened the door they had closed behind them to peek, but not more than the width of a hand before something he heard through the gap made him hesitate.


    ¡°Our sweeps through this quarter are to be especially thorough,¡± a man was saying who was neither Dirant nor Kelnsolt. Or rather he may have been a second of either, those names being neither so common as Onsalkant or Hadolt nor as rare as Silapobezor. The speaker appeared by the quality of his armor and the feather in his helmet to be an officer placed above the soldiers with him, a dozen or so. Dirant looked back inside to the condottiero, who held up a hand, dropped to his knees, and began tracing with his thumb a design on the floor. The imaginary lines glowed with golden light as his digit described them.


    ¡°Ganarant Pneklig, yes, that Ganarant, managed to get a message through. He avers he is coming soon, we should not give up, and above anything, we must watch over the temples and gardens. That the slippery Kelnsolt who vexes our proud city is a Symbol Knight he has sure knowledge, and a common maneuver for them is to slip inside while the siege is light and the defenders negligent to summon symbol monsters before we are aware of it. Some think holy sites the best place for that, though others prefer a nice flower bed. Understood?¡±


    The soldiers grunted that they did. Dirant understood the situation pretty well also, particularly the part where being seen with the slippery Kelnsolt could get him killed. He closed the front door as quietly as he could and dashed, but in a silent sort of way, toward the back to look for an exit before the guards came in.


    He failed to find one, which was no reflection on his Discernment. Simply stated, the temple had no rear door. There was no escape from the will of the gods, after all. The Wessolp officer swung open the door, saw the enemy condottiero in the middle of some activity unlikely to redound to the good of the city, and ordered an immediate charge by all his roaring troops, who would have been just in time to save their city had they been a tiny bit earlier.


    ¡°Owl Sage Niddle, I greet you!¡± Kelnsolt shouted, and the golden lights streaming from a symbol created by incomprehensible forces, though academics were working on it, intertwined themselves and resolved into a brown bird half the size of a man that sat in the air, its wings unmoving, as if the ground were a few feet higher for its convenience alone. The owl sage slid through the sky, its talons also unmoving, and transfixed the officer with its paralyzing stare.


    For the heavy work, the Symbol Knight materialized a symbolic weapon in his hands that could be formed only when a guest was present. Members of that class called their summoned monsters ¡°guests¡± according to a book Dirant read later. Further, ¡°Nothing but the actions of Summoners may properly be called summoning,¡± he was told by a Summoner. Symbol Knights agreed with that; they preferred the terms ¡°inviting¡± and ¡°invitation.¡± Regardless of the nomenclature involved, the nature of the weapon depended on the monster summoned, and in this case Kelnsolt took hold of a staff split into two sections joined by a chain. More chains attached metal balls to the outer tips of the two staff parts.


    A Coordination of 46 had trouble with so unwieldy a weapon as that in true combat, but Kelnsolt bonked enemies frozen by his owl sage easily enough. Seeing that, some of the guards in the back averted their eyes from the guest and saw Dirant, who to their way of thinking may as well have been a sign reading, ¡°Easier Target! Get Promotion Here.¡±


    When one came at him sword-first, though perhaps he ought to have succumbed to terror or regretted his impetuous deeds, what Dirant really thought was, ¡°Ah, I''m glad I bothered with Ritual Delay.¡± With a word he released the Lightning Ritual he had prepared months beforehand and saved for later use. A little cloud formed inside the temple and sent a single bolt straight down which struck the threatening soldier for double Dirant''s Receptivity in HP, or 172 total.


    +1 bonus to Receptivity gained.


    Or 174. Had the bonus come before or after the lightning? Probably after. Dirant reflected that he never expected the furor of battle to make him so contemplative and wondered if that should worry him; it was beyond any known Ritualist ability to realize the man attacking him experienced a like dispassion. Said soldier backed off to reconsider the evidence that led him to his conclusion about easier targets, which he ought not to have done considering a Ritualist was able to delay only one ritual at a time, and succumbed to Kelnsolt''s owl-granted bonk stick.

 9. The Wrack Of War

    Before Engaging a Weaker Force, The Calculation Must Be Made As To What Casualties Are Endurable, For A Battle Without Price Is An Impossible Thing


    Freed from his immediate concerns, Dirant was able to notice when the battle was over. Eight Wessolpers lay still on the floor. ¡°Are they, ah, deceased?¡± he asked the Symbol Knight, who was already busy with a second symbol while Owl Sage Niddle spun in circles nearby.


    ¡°I''m strong, but it is not so easy as that to kill off Small Fry. They will revive soon unless I finish them off. That is the great virtue of that class. I hire as many Small Fry as possible to cut down on funeral expenses.¡±


    Dirant had not quite lost his composure in the post-battle interval, and enough of the veteran mercenary''s calmness spread to him that his nerves held up in the end. ¡°Surely your occupation is one of great outlays on equipment and so. Are funeral costs such a big part of them?¡±


    ¡°There are men, many of them, who will fight for an unloved superior or the vilest scoundrel who ever lived so long as they are certain their families will not be burdened unduly after their deaths. Those are just the sort of men captains such as I need. I mean captains with no Panache. I sometimes think that''s the only stat that matters, though the results of this fray are evidence the other way. By the way, the non-Small Fry escaped to raise the alarm. Your superior Panache ensures you''ve been identified, so prepare a weapon or nasty ritual if you have one. Armor Giant Ketan, I greet you!¡±


    Nine feet tall and covered in thick black plates but for two red lights that glared, the fearsome figure manifested to perform such feats for its host as few could withstand. Kelnsolt changed his symbolic weapon to match the giant''s ax, a monstrously bulky weapon far too large for Dirant''s 34 Muscle but nothing to the mercenary''s 74. At 54, well, a Ritualist had no sense for such things. Kelnsolt informed him such a person could use the ax but would be better off with a lighter weapon, though not so light as the knife Dirant had unsheathed that was intended for rough dining experiences.


    The next mysterious symbol called forth Tripper Jason. Golden sparks merged to form a man wearing dark glasses and a jacket that had a single letter printed on the back of it. Curious, Dirant asked what the capabilities of that monster, or rather guest, might be.


    ¡°He trips people and is quite smug about it. His primary virtue is his low cost. These three are all I can afford with my 76 Guest Points. My preparations are complete.¡±


    As the two left the temple, Kelnsolt looking for a fight and Dirant for a good occasion to escape, the former explained to the latter that any behavior of a Symbol Knight which seemed odd to laymen, not having a hundred Armor Giants out for example, most likely had Guest Points behind it. He himself possessed Enhanced Hospitality which changed his basic point calculation to three-quarters of his Receptivity instead of one-half as well as Muscular Hospitality to add a third of his Muscle to the total, and he still wanted more.


    Now that Dirant knew everything there was to know about a class he would likely never run into again outside of a social situation, he followed perfectly what happened when Wessolp''s defenders, dozens of them at first and hundreds later, came against the lone condottiero. If ever anyone doubted the power of individuals of advanced classes dedicated to martial pursuits, they probably still did after that fight because the losers kept quiet about it and Kelnsolt lacked the flair for self-promotion any member of his profession really should have developed.


    He did the combat part well enough to compensate. The Wessolpers coordinated an attack down both sides of the street that was met by an armor giant''s powerful ax on the one flank, and on the other a condottiero''s more powerful ax which sent four men flying with each swing. Owl Sage Niddle made a little circuit in the middle, paralyzing the front rank on either side alternatingly. Tripper Jason kept his hands in his pockets, stuck his foot out, and snickered when some dope fell for it. What a team player. When soldiers attacked Tripper Jason for the same reason one went after Dirant earlier, he hopped backward while whistling. Some Symbol Knights held that Trippers did a better job of distracting the enemy than Owl Sages and at half the guest cost. Others answered that may be true, but they still hated to invite them.


    If the troops of the initial rush faced an impossible challenge in Kelnsolt Aradetnaf, the rear ranks had a double-impossible challenge before them since they had to climb over or sneak around piles of their comrades'' insensible bodies. Well, some of them were groaning, which seemed pretty sensible given the circumstances. Their fellows joined them in that soon afterward.


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    During the battle, Dirant retreated into the temple in an attempt to store another Lightning Ritual. Temples of Aoda, however, or that one at least, lacked the blue chalk and rake with at least five tines necessary to perform it, and so he reemerged onto the street still armed with nothing but a knife that had never cut human flesh outside of a couple clumsy incidents. Kelnsolt took care of the last few soldiers, ¡°likely not permanently,¡± and that was that.


    ¡°And is that all?¡± Dirant asked.


    Kelnsolt nodded.


    ¡°Such is the result of Panache 8. You must at least fold your arms and utter, not say but utter, ''There is nothing now for this city to do but await my pleasure.''¡± Dirant tried it out a few times, decided maybe one arm raised in the air would be more impressive, and was engaged in that when the man showed up.


    Lord Mayor Odinol Emmofoken, unless some prankster had stolen the thick gold chain that indicated the holder of Wessolp''s highest office, was just the model a sculptor who wanted to craft a monument to reason and moderation wanted. His height was typical for an Adaban, a bit less than Dirant''s, and his mop of dark brown, almost black hair ended in sideburns that stopped before they became too much. He projected the dignity of his position without giving the sense that anyone would be thrown in prison for pointing out his sleeves were a bit uneven, and the glimpse one could get of his right forearm indicated he had, at times, lifted something heavier than a gold chain.


    He looked over the two gentlemen with steady eyes ready to accept the pleasant and unpleasant alike, came to the obvious conclusion, and bowed to Dirant in the sense that he leaned forward a little. ¡°I must congratulate you, sir, on your victory, even as I wish it were otherwise.¡±


    Dirant wanted, as befit a mostly honest man who represented Stadeskosken, the city of Fennizen, the state of Kitslof, and the sixth-most prestigious school of ritualism in Greater Enloffenkir, to correct the mayor''s misunderstanding. Regrettably, a glance at Kelnsolt warned him not to expect much support in that endeavor, since the authentic condottiero was struggling harder than ever to keep a straight face. Dirant gave up and returned his attention to the mayor. ¡°Matters fare as they will, and we do as we must, just as I must thank you for your congratulations.¡±


    ¡°May we expect civil treatment?¡±


    Dirant looked at Kelnsolt again, who nodded. 8 Panache probably resulted in ¡°Yes¡± or ¡°Sure¡± on such occasions, but 44 provided a slightly more graceful version. ¡°Had I not intended so from the beginning, surely the courage of your Wessolpers and the courtesy of their lord mayor demand it of me.¡±


    +1 bonus to Panache gained.


    ¡°I thank you. I must make arrangements.¡± The mayor bowed again and left.


    ¡°I will leave the rest of this affair to my subordinate, Kelnsolt Aradetnaf,¡± Dirant told said subordinate, who laughed. ¡°And what is meant by civil treatment? As your superior I must know this sort of thing.¡±


    ¡°My men will occupy the city while terms are negotiated. We will pay for lodgings, but at a reduced rate, and refrain from robbery and insolence. The Wessolpers will not refuse to sell to us or provide water.¡± There was that mildness in victory Dirant had heard about.


    All that was done. The mercenaries came inside the walls, nothing burned down, and the Wessolp guards gave up their weapons they could hardly wield while they rested in bed from the drubbing a lone condottiero had given them. Kelnsolt invited Dirant to join the post-victory celebration, which would be a restrained affair conducted with an eye toward continuing not to burn anything down, but he refused on the grounds of religious obligation.


    ¡°And if you happen to have memorized the location of the temple of Mitistiggefokand, or Mitastikkefokant to follow the modern style, I would be grateful for it.¡±


    ¡°I did, but here''s a map instead,¡± Kelnsolt said.


    So it was that Dirant found the place, all the while hoping good directions made up the entirety of the consequences for his involvement with Wessolp''s subjugation. Probably so, since the mayor had not asked his name on account of presuming he was Kelnsolt Aradetnaf. How would anyone find out? There were the gate guards, but for them to make the connection between a typical traveler and the conqueror of their city required more inquisitiveness than Stadeskosken''s watchmen or the sentries of Fennizen ever demonstrated.


    Satisfied with his reasoning, he entered the temple. It resembled Aoda''s in its proportions, but rather than windows unconventional in their curviness it had tall, rectangular ones split into panes of irregular size and shape by bars at strange angles so that the floor indoors exhibited patterns of light and shadow that shifted and twisted throughout the day. Or so Dirant guessed. He had no intention of staying that long.


    It was necessary that he wait for some period, since nobody was around to accept the statue. That might have been predicted. The city had just been conquered, not to mention that religious services generally took place either in the morning or the early evening so far as he knew. The wait gave him time to clean up a bit as the god had suggested. The temple seemed in good condition, but just as the old saying reminded, the three enemies that always return are hunger, thirst, and dust. He looked for a broom.

 10. An Excursion Into Literature

    Whimsy Is An Ornament For An Author In Proportion To How Unexpected Is Its Deployment


    Giroflessor Peltla preceded the clutch of worshipers as was his privilege. For generations the Peltla family had been responsible for maintaining Mitistiggefokand''s house in Wessolp, a clan prominent in the city''s affairs and notable for the occasional instance of blondness such as in Giroflessor''s case that spoke of an ancestral line which benefited from outstanding contributors from many tribes and countries. Nothing had changed in his generation except for declining support in the community for particular rites pleasing to particular gods. Seasonal festivals and worship of the pantheon as a whole seemed enough for piety to more and more Adabans, without mentioning those who cast away religious practice altogether. Still, many were slow to change their habits or else changed back after harrowing legal encounters they thanked the guide to the laws for helping them navigate. A couple dozen men and women accompanied him that day to pay their customary respects and give the place a good sweeping. All of them saw, when the door was opened, a divine vision.


    The dying sun filtered through the intricately mullioned windows and the dust drifting about cast a halo about a man, or surely a messenger of the god himself, come from some region beyond to, evidently, sweep. The faithful felt ashamed at their negligence. As if in response to their shame, the messenger looked up.


    ¡°Ah. Hello to you. Is there someone among you in a position to receive a delivery for this temple?¡±


    Giroflessor stepped forward and spoke calm words despite the joy leaping about in his heart as he wondered what blessing of Mitistiggefokand had been conveyed there. ¡°I am the head caretaker, and so?¡±


    ¡°That is exactly what is needed.¡± Dirant took his statuette box from his rucksack, extracted the correct one, and held it out. ¡°I was told, or commanded may be the better word, to deliver this likeness which an otter rescued from the Ontoffemmiror River.¡±


    With unsteady hands the caretaker took it, and he knew at once it was their own. The faithful looking over his shoulder saw the same and fell to prayer while their head spoke to the messenger. ¡°Astonishing! I am astonished. Our icon has returned and fortune along with it. Now tell me, you are Mitistiggefokand''s messenger, must you not be?¡±


    Dirant thought that question over. ¡°There is an argument to be made that is true. Really I am a common Ritualist¡ª¡°


    ¡°Ah! The god favors them, I am told.¡±


    ¡°I am told the same. And he bestowed upon me a ritual that allowed me to find this likeness that I might return it to its temple.¡±


    Giroflessor nodded. ¡°It all makes sense, your story, and there is pleasure in it to hear that a modern Ritualist is aware of the socioreligious responsibilities we all must bear. Many, it seems, care for nothing but research or commerce. Those are very good things of course. But the sacred ceremonies and usages must be seen to as well. Oh, what is all this speech-making? My name is Giroflessor Peltla, and our meeting is a blessing for me.¡±


    ¡°No less for me. My name is Dirant Rikelta, from Kitslof.¡± After that, Giroflessor insisted Dirant stay in his home for the night. There the host asked for and received a full account of the Holzd-spurred adventure, albeit with a few tactical omissions such as when Dirant tried to find out what kind of monster his god was or the time he ground Wessolp under his heel.


    Mercenaries handled gate duty the next day. They waved their captain''s ally through with grins of unseemly magnitude. Embarrassing, but that spared Dirant any chance of an awkward reunion with local guards which had the potential to increase his infamy, and so he ventured forth relieved from worry and responsibility both. He had completed his divine mission. It was more complicated than it had appeared at first, but nothing unmanageable. The mercy of Holzd, he supposed. That was that, and it was unlikely he would ever be assigned another. So what to do with the rest of his time off, or rather, time for himself?


    His nerves objected to the once-attractive idea of enjoying the charms of Wessolp, if it had any. The obvious second choice, like someone who yearned to be an Administrator but settled for Functionary, was to return to Fennizen and lounge around the same way he did after work but for a larger portion of the day. That was hardly the stuff of the ideal vacation for all that many devolved into that in practice.


    He might have opted to visit Todelk. His fellow Ritualist graduates had of course dispersed to the corners of Greater Enloffenkir or even beyond it, but there were younger students to harass and professors to ask about connections between the class and Holzd. Yet what would they say that was different? His godly encounter, if he told them of it, seemed unlikely to shake their confidence in the orthodox conception that rituals were a tool for manipulating reality that slowly improved by the continual efforts of practitioners and theorists who received salaries and university faculty positions in exchange. Maybe other schools thought differently, but . . .


    Other schools indeed. He consulted his map, the big one, not the Wessolp-specific one Kelnsolt had permitted him to keep as a memento of their time together. Amlizen, the city which included among its attractions Sored University and its school of ritualism, the fifth-most prestigious in the GE, was farther west of Wessolp than Fennizen was south. However, he could ride to the state of Esmenloffen and take a boat down the river to reach Amlizen in two days or so, perhaps less, then ride back and arrive home just in time.


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    The moment he started considering the particulars of the trip to and from Sored University, Dirant knew which option he had chosen. He turned his Stadeskosken horse''s head toward Ritsuan, a riverside town according to the map. That same map warned him Patkaodotenlilk was squeezed between Esmenloffen and Likstalmitlof, those making up the three states that sat on the Haskiror River. He resolved not to stop there for his peace of mind.


    The trip to Ritsuan resembled that to Wessolp except for a general lightheartedness which replaced Dirant''s earlier fevered impetuosity. Now that he had an intellectual inquiry before him, he looked on the scenery in a more analytical light, such as wondering how people decided what to harvest when. The practical difference there was slight, but he felt it strongly. The bigger change came when he woke up in the mail boat he had caught at Ritsuan and felt only a bit sore.


    ¡°It seems a disgrace and an insult to my career if I say this out loud, but Horse Riding (Intermediate) may do more for me than any Ritualist ability I will learn in the future,¡± he said out loud to a mirror in a washroom located near the quays for the convenience of stevedores as he subdued his whiskers against perhaps a bit more resistance than Kelnsolt had from Wessolp''s massed guards. ¡°Remembering that incident makes it difficult to pretend it happened to someone else. I must improve in that area.¡±


    Amlizen resembled Fennizen on the day of a fair. People walked a little slower, wore attire slightly harder to put on, and sometimes halted in the street to talk instead of hurrying along side by side toward financial opportunities. The locals seemed not to mind if an outsider made better time than they did, though. Dirant arrived at Sored University, or one of its buildings anyway (the students informed him the institution was spread around a few city blocks), shortly before noon. Either that or right at noon if the Amlizen''s clocks mirrored its citizens in their attitudes toward punctuality.


    As he expected, the faculty had its hands full with not doing anything while the students read texts written by the professors themselves, their friends, or experts in being published by aggressive businessmen. Of course they could set aside some time to enlighten an adherent of the noblest calling, but what caused him to ask about the possible religious underpinnings of the class?


    ¡°Earlier this year I was graduated from Todelk University, and . . .¡±


    No more was necessary. Obviously he had learned nothing worth mentioning there. Anyone in his position would be curious about real ritualism. In fact, Tanseliaf Hellons, one of the GE''s foremost Ritualists and the author of a number of books approachable for the lay audience yet nevertheless praised by the knowledgeable on ritualism, rituals, and rites, the last a term usually reserved among Ritualists for things that laymen erroneously believed to be rituals, invited him to his office for a discussion. Dirant of course accepted.


    Professor Tanseliaf leaned back in his well-cushioned chair. With his piercing brown eyes and hair receding in orderly patterns, anyone would know him to be a true authority on something or other. That sculptor using Lord Mayor Odinol Emmofoken to personify Reason was well-advised to add Tanseliaf Hellons as Experience. ¡°Now then. Todelk, eh? We must start from the beginning. Tell me what specifically you have in mind, for everyone means something different when talking about religion.¡±


    Dirant told his story, this time including the part about monsters but stopping far short of his successes in infiltration and subjugation. ¡°And what troubles me is that while the origin of rituals in superstition is understood so far as for one author to claim the art was fished from the dirtiest pond only to be polished to the most lustrous sheen by careful workmen known as Ritualists, I had never before heard of any association of the class with one god in particular. Yet librarians and temple caretakers know of it, and it is said to be common in the careers of Ritualists for them to have seen this god in their youth.¡±


    Tanseliaf had kept his fingers steepled and made encouraging noises throughout the story. ¡°This is a matter of great interest to me. I recall that the god Holzd claimed every class to be a priest of some god or other?¡±


    ¡°It is my recollection that he did. I was close to overwhelmed at the time, or far past it, and may be mistaken as to the details. He treated it as a matter of universal knowledge and not as a salient point in any way.¡±


    ¡°That ties in with my opinions. For a long time now I have grown more and more sure that all our abilities are granted by gods even as that ancient myth tells. I mean the one about how the gods favored humans above all creatures in the world.¡±


    Dirant still had not decided whether he should have been embarrassed about his ignorance regarding the aspects of Paznitiklesdharbdigeng and so on, but this sounded like something he really ought to have known but did not. He shifted in his less-cushioned chair. ¡°There is some myth of significance here?¡±


    ¡°I think so. When the gods convened every beast of the land as well as the fish and the birds and commanded them to provide amusement for them, and out of all those animals only humans did so, I previously wondered what sort of gods those were and whether we were to take them seriously. Today I must conclude that this Holzd as you describe him fits in well with that characterization. He laughs at our ritualism studies and loves us for it. Everything fits. I am sure the other gods have other tastes. Last week I paid for the opportunity to watch the dexterous tricks of the Acrobats executed by the best of them. Why should the gods not enjoy that sort of entertainment just as much?¡±


    ¡°I suppose so.¡± The young Ritualist reflected on his own education and what use he had made of it. Perhaps laughter was the correct response. ¡°If it is not too aggressive to ask again, why am I hearing of these theories only now? My professors said nothing of it, and it is not flattery to say some of your writings were included in our coursework. Why not publish something about your growing certitude?¡±


    ¡°I did. Hold on.¡± The distinguished author stood and took one of twenty or so identical books from his shelves. ¡°Here it is. Look.¡±


    Tanseliaf turned the cover to Dirant so he could see the title. On the Divine Underpinnings of the Class System: That Class Abilities Are Gifts From the Gods Is Far From Disproved. His eyes widened.


    ¡°The reviewers loved it,¡± Tanseliaf told him. ¡°They thought it metaphor of the highest excellence.¡± He shrugged. ¡°I hope for a critical reevaluation later. There is little the author can do about such things. Most people read a review, not all of it but just the first few paragraphs and some snatches deeper in, and not the book itself. You can have this. I''ll autograph it for twenty-four ezolas.¡±

 11. Egille Founded A Kingdom And Gave The Continent His Name

    Only In Dreams Did He Dream Of Other Shores, And Only Awake Did His Courage Awaken


    Dirant left Sored University wiser and more confused than ever, the complete higher education experience. Did everyone know about class priesthoods except him? No. Kelnsolt had not. Even the caretakers and curators knew Holzd had something to do with Ritualists but not what. Did nobody know? Tanseliaf Hellons did, but not his readers. Did people not actually read or listen to other people? Ever? A bold conclusion to say they did not, but it seemed likely. He had sky-high Receptivity and only now was he really starting to pay attention. Speaking of which, had not Holzd also said something about what Receptivity actually covered? Perhaps he ought to have mentioned that to the professor.


    ¡°It refers to the capability to receive and use energy, if such a broad term for a breadth of phenomena is permissible, not produceable by humans, whether transmitted by us the gods or radiating from external sources. Receptivity is what as an example Symbol Knights require to bridge the gap between signifier and signified. I tell you all that by way of a present to celebrate the successful completion of your sacred duty, though the truest reward for it is felt by you who at last did something to justify your place as my priest.¡± There on a fence perched Holzd, his arms hanging as he looked down on his Ritualist.


    Dirant looked around to see if anyone would hear a response if he made one. He conjectured whether Holzd was audible to a general audience depended on the god''s will, but he had no such convenient powers. Seeing no one closer than on a thoroughfare that crossed his current street some way ahead, he thought himself free to respond until he realized he had no idea how to speak to a god despite his experience in it. The sensation that each one of his internal organs demanded his attention simultaneously perhaps hindered his eloquence a bit as well.


    ¡°I, ah, thank you, great one? For your instruction. Might another question be entertained by you?¡±


    Holzd reached up past the clouds, pulled down a fruit unknown to Dirant or any man which banished all hunger, fatigue, and illness by its miraculous qualities anyone could perceive merely with a single look, and began to peel it. ¡°If it bears on no simple matter, you may, and moreover with this assurance that my priests and all others are allowed to say my name, for it is as holy to speak and to hear at a minimum as anything else in this world. Although the occasional epithet is not without its appeal.¡±


    ¡°Then . . .¡± Dirant paused and tried to rearrange his words with the aim of reduced simplicity. ¡°Variously fingered Holzd, is it true what it seems I should have thought possible all along that every class, Zero excepted, is truly a priest as has been confirmed on each occasion I had the chance to confirm it on account of humanity winning the favor of the gods above other living things?¡±


    The god began to cut the fruit into slices. ¡°It is true, but what has been forgotten by scholars such as Tanseliaf Hellons, who is a favorite of mine as all Ritualists are but more than most of them, is that the things of this planet came together rather to beseech our aid and not at a command of ours for some means with which to resist the monsters, the Omega Masters, the Oblivitarch, all those troublesome things that you may well imagine to be stronger than any number of Zeroes and be correct in so imagining, the result of that entreaty being that only humanity so far as you know on this planet understood and accepted classes and the importance of advancing therein. Foxes never figured it out, and never will they.¡±


    ¡°It is a flaw of mine to be so ignorant, but what are Omega Masters? And the Oblivitarch, you said?¡±


    Holzd wrapped each slice in part of the peel and popped them all in his mouth, chewed, and swallowed. ¡°There''s no call for you to worry about that. Rejoice!¡± He disappeared before the sound of his farewell did, which somehow stayed in the air, not as an echo but as a word Dirant heard when he put his ear close. He stepped away, stopped hearing it, stepped forward, and heard it again.


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    That was enough for Dirant, both of Amlizen and of theology. It was one thing to question the very existence of gods while he studied subjects of such great importance as the history of ritualism, the cultural expression of ritualism, the economics of ritualism, and the ethics of ritualism. That last course, the most valuable, offered excellent advice on ways to avoid blame. Never make any promises as to what results a particular ritual will have, but only that you are capable of performing it as described. Always demand your employer acknowledge the results are his responsibility. Something in writing is preferred.


    ¡°It is an insult to this region for me to reminisce so heavily when there is beauty all about me,¡± Dirant reminded himself as he rode east. It was the same sort of beauty as what he had seen during every other leg of his trip, and ¡°beauty¡± was perhaps a bit much for endless farms, but the basic concept of storing up memories for days when the snow or rain conspired with the fireplace to imprison him seemed correct.


    He passed through towns and stayed in a few where he heard talk of the Wessolp situation, if not a great amount. For Kelnsolt Aradetnaf to succeed again was a commonplace, and the way he did so rarely left much to discuss. Observers blamed Patkaodotenlilk more for hiring an unexciting condottiero than for bringing war against Wessolp with such a poor justification, as the one expanded the topics bystanders could discuss while the other closed them off. As to the fate of the conquered, Lord Mayor Odinol Emmofoken and Aomag Aomalptig celebrated a lovely wedding which the bride''s father did not attend on account of a sudden though not serious illness; credible speculation that the bride told him not to bother showing up failed to make the broadsheets for legal reasons. Wessolp also paid a hefty indemnity to the victor. The total number of fatalities in the Engagement War ended up as zero, much to the displeasure of critics specializing in condottieri affairs who declared the best possible number to be one. They considered anything either higher or lower an indictment of the captains involved.


    Dirant Rikelta liked that the number of fatalities equaled the number of times he heard his name mentioned in breakfast conversations and especially loud discussions on street corners. If neither reporters nor rumor-mongers pegged him as involved, nobody would. Normally one expected a condottiero to pick one of two courses: take all the credit for himself or embellish the strange adventure to the utmost. Kelnsolt and his 8 Panache evidently had chosen a third course of saying nothing about how precisely he stole into the city. Therefore it was with an untroubled mind Dirant went to sleep in a hotel of Snetilp, a town only hours out from Fennizen at his pace, and awoke rather farther away.


    He had never seen an interior so blue in all of Greater Enloffenkir. To have the tapestries set in wall niches he had also never seen, though it seemed an arrangement decorators might appreciate. The gong set in a framework resting on the floor, three-quarters of a Silthree in size, he was not sure would ever catch on. All in all, his surroundings disturbed and discomfited him except for one thing. The floor, wooden rather than stone, brick, or cement, hosted strange shapes formed by the sun as a result of the intricately barred windows above. As long as he was in some temple of Holzd, he thought his situation not too surprising.


    A door opened, one of four according to his count. Beyond that was another chamber rather than the outdoors. Dirant felt proud that he retained enough composure to notice that and not just the man who came through, for all that the arrival deserved attention. The most important points were the thick, one might say lush, green scarf wrapped around his neck and that his coat that was so extravagant in its fleeciness as to give the impression its wearer had woken up that morning and decided to put on an entire sheep. The rest of Dirant''s impressions were accompanied by a sense of how chilly he was as he stood there in his nightshirt.


    The warm-looking man had tied up his gray hair that might have reached his shoulders if allowed into a knot atop his head. He was shorter than Dirant even counting that, but it was a respectable effort. His wrinkle density put him likely somewhere in his 50s, and he smiled wide with more wrinkles becoming visible as a consequence when he looked on Dirant with bright blue eyes. ¡°Thank you for accepting this invitation, my colleague. The ritual I employed does not require acceptance of course. I do consider that a flaw in it. Nevertheless, let''s go on with me thinking you would have accepted if asked.¡± He chuckled. Dirant relaxed, since he supposed no Ritualist who had a sense of humor about kidnapping someone in the middle of the night could be all bad.

 12. A Target, A Goal, A Reason To Walk Out The Door

    How Bewitching Is Home And How Unpleasant An Unfamiliar Sight


    ¡°My name is Dirant Rikelta, and our meeting is a blessing for me.¡±


    ¡°Aha! That sounds like a standard greeting. I''m afraid I don''t know it, so here is one of ours. To yours as to mine. How''s that? Penneram Densos is my name, Dirant Rikelta. What else? I am a Ritualist just as you are, and oh yes, you are on a continent over the ocean from where you started thanks to this Pious Convening of the World''s End Ritual I developed. The name is an exaggeration, but I hoped people would infer that an emergency exists to justify its compulsive qualities I''m still trying to get rid of. What do you think of it? The old Pious Convening allows us priests to confer out of the sight and hearing of non-Ritualists, but this version allows me to call selected Ritualists to any place sacred to Holzd. Cross-continental confabulations won''t go very far unless an attendee has the Divine Fellowship ability, but I do, and so can speak to you in the Holzd language humans can never learn but only borrow on special occasions. I want to hear your opinion before I brag about it more in case you have a better version over there.¡±


    Later Dirant thought of that when he reflected on whether he was becoming a bit too accepting of unreasonable claims. He probably ought to have questioned the idea of being on another continent, though as for language, he could tell he was speaking something other than Adaban once his attention was directed to it. On the other hand, it may have just been his essential Ritualist nature that made him ask only, ¡°Is this moment opportune for me to examine the ritual?¡±


    It was. Penneram Densos handed him a scroll filled with expensive-looking directions. Crushed diamonds? How did you even get those? ¡°The brawniest of Brawny Knights,¡± Penneram explained.


    ¡°And do they charge highly for the service? I must put that aside. I have never heard of any such wondrous ritual as this before. Perhaps in Saueyi they have something of the kind, and I hope they will not learn that I think it unlikely.¡±


    Penneram Densos beamed with such pleasure that anyone must conclude he preferred hearing that to having silver deposits found on his property. ¡°I''ll boast without restraint now. Oh, I will be insufferable. That''s enough time-wasting professional talk. Really I''ve kept you too long already, but I beg your indulgence. You see, I recently reached level 50.¡± He tried to keep going but could not resist pausing to examine Dirant for a powerful reaction, which the young Ritualist gave. 50? No one living had proof of topping 30 so far as he knew, and the few confirmed 35s of the recent past had to endure the constant presence of researchers specializing in the unanswered question of what XP actually was. People in the streets liked to put historical geniuses up past that, all in the same way they speculated the real ruler of Beriskirofen was a fish-man who held court in his capitol at the bottom of Lake Etimastizen or that the founder of Stadeskosken had planned his family life out with a view toward producing one son of each class in the world. One of those sounded more plausible to Dirant than the other, but regardless.


    Penneram Densos, having been paid in the currency he hoped to receive, smiled wider than ever as he continued. The head portion of his status which confirmed his class and level just happened to hang in the air while he spoke, no doubt a side effect of the ritual. ¡°You know as well as I do that only the first level really matters, but we just keep on gaining abilities for some reason. Well, at 50 I learned the ability Ritual of Delivery. The sole function its description claims is that I can now perform a ritual set above others in importance. It''s called the Delivery Ritual and it slows the continuous degradation of reality. Tell me if you''ve heard of how reality is continuously degrading, because I hadn''t. And I''m old!¡± He chuckled again. ¡°Researching the issue was hard, but I found a few mentions about a Delivery Ritual performed some four hundred years ago that probably protects the world. I have no idea what the duration of it is or what the consequences of not having one active might be, but aside from anything else, I want to do it so badly. Why reach level 50 if you can''t enjoy it?¡±


    ¡°I wonder that same thing about a much lower level,¡± Dirant answered, and both laughed.


    ¡°So I looked into it and soon saw I could never complete the Delivery Ritual without help. I developed another ritual, the Search for Pious Assistance, that widens the part of my Divine Fellowship that tells me which Ritualists are true servants of Holzd over the entire world, and more than that, gives me their names and levels. I have made requests of several, and now I make one of you.¡±


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    ¡°And how is it that I, a level 6, can participate in this great ritual?¡±


    ¡°You can''t.¡±


    ¡°Ah.¡±


    ¡°You can help with the setup, though.¡±


    ¡°Ah!¡±


    ¡°My working theory is that to accomplish the effect, reality needs to sit still so I can insulate it. Apparently there''s an ability called Edition Freeze that does that very thing, though normally to a much smaller target. Others of my colleagues turned up the fact that it''s Pickers who can learn it. I''m not sure what the method is to get a Picker to Edition Freeze the whole world, but it doesn''t matter because I haven''t found a single person who has it. In my desperation I turned to Divine Guidance (Hunch), so now my gut tells me your continent has several. Will you find one to help me? I can''t reward you in any real way of course, what with the distances involved. That scroll there will drop to the clean floor there as soon as I dismiss you. Maybe the Pious Convening of the World''s End but Better Ritual will plaster that little crack, but as it is, I have to rely on the generosity of other peoples'' spirits.¡±


    ¡°Now I don''t mean it as more than a slight reproach to say you know well that the opportunity to have some involvement with such an exotic ritual is too much for any Ritualist to refuse a request related to it.¡±


    Penneram Densos laughed. ¡°I''ve seen enough that isn''t quite as true as it should be to doubt everything, but I thought you''d take it that way. Of course I did, seeing as I didn''t do this ritual because I hate money. I love it, moderately. Well, I''ve kept you long enough. Enlightenment for our colleagues and confusion for laymen!¡± He gestured and Dirant stood in his room.


    He had missed breakfast, the staff regretted to inform him, but for a consideration they perhaps could . . . ¡°Thank you. It is unnecessary, but I must remember your enterprise when I want inspiration. Goodbye.¡±


    Fennizen had refrained from changing in his absence. It lacked incentive to do so. Wealth and news flowed into the city as always, and as for the second of those things, Dirant spent part of his last day off with some friends more interested in the doings of the condottieri than he. They were pleased to see some alteration in his attitude, for when they spoke about an offering of contracts by a collection of Ottkir states led by Baosnesk as well as the southern island nation of Stegzi to do something about pirates operating out of Eubosh Ashurit, a country uncontrollable by its own king, he joined in with more interest and knowledge than he had previously shown in similar discussions.


    ¡°And did Kelnsolt Aradetnaf take up one of these contracts?¡± Dirant asked.


    ¡°He did in fact, but it is nevertheless all quite exciting.¡±


    Aside from that, citizens in the streets talked of the weather and the business climate as always. Dirant did notice, as he walked about that afternoon, that the word Stadeskosken frequently occurred closer to Wessolp than he expected. He started weaving across the street in an attempt to eavesdrop, or rather overhear, or rather provide opportunities for public conversations to become slightly more public.


    His erratic behavior did not go unnoticed. A charming young woman with black hair arranged in the preferred style for the modern Adaban lady, straight bangs just over the eyebrows and long on the sides and back, waved him over. That would been more of a thrill had the young man not recognized her as Ridenad Bessahalpt, the daughter one his father''s foremost rivals in commerce, Lofkant Bessehalpt. No doubt she was looking to wring information of financial importance out of him, he might have thought had he not heard rumors and personally seen evidence indicating a willingness on her part to exchange one set of familial allegiances for another provided a particular older brother of his tendered the offer. He tried not to smirk as he awaited her pleasure.


    ¡°Mr. Dirant, we''ve missed you here in Fennizen. It was a great mystery where you went, too, as if the fortunes of your family depended on it.¡±


    ¡°It is my belief that they do, Miss Ridenad, but I must plead with you not to tell anyone else that. They become so loud in their disagreement. I went to Wessolp and Amlizen as it happens.¡±


    ¡°Wessolp!¡± She threw up her hands. ¡°There it is again, that name nobody had heard a month ago but can''t stop discussing today. Were all these rumors of negotiations between your father and Wessolp something you caused? No one has given any explanation of it to me or anyone else, but we are all worked up over the matter regardless.¡±


    ¡°It is not then my imagination that I heard those two words, Wessolp and Stadeskosken I mean, closer than I ever did before. As neither of us knows nothing of what is behind it, I must extract the information from Silthree when I find him.¡±


    ¡°Silthree?¡± Ridenad cocked her head.


    ¡°Ah, forgive me, everyone, for revealing the family secrets! We refer to Silapobolt by that name, and you must not bring me into it when you call him that. I would like a report on his reaction however.¡±


    ¡°Silthree!¡± She laughed as she said it. ¡°How appropriate. I remember I was told something about Ipni as a nickname?¡±


    ¡°Ah, that comes from his Duelist classmates, he says, but nowhere is there confirmation. Silthree is a term of familial import, and I again insist you debrief me after you test the effect of saying it yourself.¡±


    ¡°I will do just that.¡±

 13. Making Orange Juice From Oranges

    If We Divide The World Into Things Better Squeezed And Things Better Not Squeezed, We Will Not Go Far Wrong


    Dirant''s plans ended in frustration. He failed to find Silthree or any other Sil. Dirs were no good as a rule, but even those eluded him outside of one he saw reflected in a fountain''s clear water. That is, the plans may have been frustrated, but he felt fine about the situation. He would see somebody at some point, perhaps during the dinner which he decided to take at the Rikelta family home like a normal person, a privilege to which he remained entitled for all that he, his brothers, and their father so often ate in a warehouse, an office, or on the back of a wagon traveling toward or away from some customer. Not only did he show up that day, but according to the servants Haderslant, two Dirs including him, and three out of four Sils had indicated they would be in as well. Odder than that, the families of Silone and Silfour were not coming along.


    No doubt their father had urged the others to attend while Dirant showed up by happenstance. He understood that clearly enough. Just as clear was that his brothers thought the whole affair so routine as not to require explanation. He decided to shake them out of their complacency while they waited for the number one to put in his appearance. ¡°Is it at last time to vote whether we expel Siltwo? My support is assured, and I think we should deliberate also concerning Ontirorant. He is young, which only means he has not yet learned to disguise his poor character.¡±


    Silthree pounded the table. ¡°That''s right. We''ll team up to disinherit these extra mouths. Then we''ll share the inheritance between the two of us, Dirtwo and me. I''m certain we both will be content with that.¡±


    ¡°For a time,¡± all five said together.


    That got Dirant no closer to the explanation he refused to beg his brothers to give him, but they made good progress as far as wasting time before dinner. Haderslant entered just ahead of the dishes and looked around.


    ¡°You''re all here. Dutiful, very responsible. Even you!¡± He had sat down by then, whereupon he waved his fork at Dirant. ¡°I wasn''t sure what Ritualists learn in school, but you''ve developed your business sense pretty keenly, eh? Rushed to be a part of this meeting. It''s all because of you in the first place, of course. That was amazing work you did in Wessolp, the kind you can only get done with some good time off.¡±


    A feeling gripped Dirant as if he were strolling out of a store with jewelry hidden under his coat and a clerk asked how he would like to pay for that. He had almost gotten away with it, he thought. ¡°I did get away with it, I thought! Please forget I said that. It was my mistaken impression that no one knew of my involvement. Nobody looks at me strangely in the streets.¡±


    ¡°Oh, well, people in the streets. The next true thing they know will be the first.¡± Haderslant had all the cheer of a Fennizener with money and an Adaban with cornbread and ham in front of him combined. ¡°The lord mayor of Wessolp knows a few facts by contrast. He doesn''t like all of them though. Very few of them these days, I daresay. When I spoke with him, he was full of complaints about Stadeskosken''s sharp practices, and how could we call ourselves honest merchants when we went around sending Dirant Rikeltas to sabotage peace-loving cities. The successful kind, I told him. The successful kind! But he keeps his doings and preferences separate, as he must, and I''m back bearing a permit to take Wessolp''s place in certain markets in Pavvu Omme Os and Yean Defiafi. That''s how you accomplish accomplishments, boys. Create opportunities, don''t wait for them. I''ll have to make more use of our Ritualists. Your Gumption must be incredible.¡±


    ¡°23.¡±


    Haderslant spun his knife contemplatively. ¡°It''s how you use it, I suppose.¡±


    ¡°I didn''t intend to use it. One incident happened and then the next.¡±


    Haderslant nodded, and so did his fork. ¡°As I said. Create opportunities. Worry about how to exploit them later.¡±


    His brothers congratulated Dirant on his downright unethical approach to commercial undertakings, though their manner suggested they were not as convinced as their father that he had done it on purpose. The knowledge he had a family that sort of understood him a little bit ameliorated Dirant''s distress at the discovery of his complicity. Haderslant moved on to the real subject he wanted to address with the help of his adult sons minus Siltwo, who had been sent out of Fennizen earlier on other business, and Dirol, who barely counted, being level 1 or so.


    Pavvu Omme Os and Yean Defiafi. Two countries with Greater Enloffenkir members on their southern and western borders. To carry on trade with the GE was natural, and it did happen, but not without restrictions. Both countries barred large numbers of Adabans, Riks, Ottkirs, Mabonns, and Hewekers from crossing the border without permission for reasons with strong historical backing. Once inside, all such travelers were put under close watch and held to strict regulations as far as when and where they were permitted to do this or that. Wessolp, a city within a clear day''s sight of Pavvu Omme Os and one which had long chosen peace and order over the chaos of war (Dirant flinched at that), derived a significant portion of its annual income from the trade mission it was allowed to send through those two lands.


    The costs of the penalty imposed by Patkaodotenlilk cut into the capital available to stock goods sufficient to make the trip worthwhile. Neither could the mayor borrow money off of mine shares as he once expected would help insulate the city against cash shortfalls such as it was just then experiencing. To raise money necessary for the city''s continued functioning, he had no better recourse than to sell the market rights to another entity that judged itself fully able to make use of the licenses by assembling a remunerative commercial venture.


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    Haderslant and his sons, Silone especially, began to hash out what was needed as far as laborers, vehicles, animals, and guards. Not that Pavvu Omme Os would allow mercenaries entry, but some Stadeskosken employees were not helpless on the battlefield. And things to sell, of course. Some might have called that the most important aspect.


    Silfour, known as Silapobezor Rikelta on official documents and ¡°the tall one¡± to most of Stadeskosken''s personnel, added something based on his experiences as an Explorer often sent outside Greater Enloffenkir. ¡°We must have pamphlets printed to inform everyone of crucial points of business etiquette abroad, some helpful words and phrases in Usse and Desurvyai of course, where foreigners put their family names and so, the poets to compliment if you want to seem literate but not snooty, all of that sort of thing. Lectures would be better, but with the time we have, well, I wish we had more.¡± That wise suggestion led to a discussion of what experts to consult and whether Stadeskosken''s recently formed publication wing could handle the order.


    Dirant had nothing to contribute, and in any case he already knew some helpful words and phrases in Desurvyai. ¡°Where is the toilet?¡± for instance, or ¡°I refuse to accept that Adabanneher, Rikenlikneher, Ottkir, Mabonn, and Heweker are separate peoples. All of you in Greater Enloffenkir are Adabans to me.¡± A foreign student at Todelk made that proclamation which the Adabans there all memorized in their delight. Cultural exchange yet again had resulted in a good way to rile up the Riks. What concerned him was whether he had a better chance of finding a Picker with Edition Freeze and using some different rituals for once by staying in Fennizen and directing inquiries through the mail or by going on the road. He was unsure as to the Picker, but when it came to rituals, he was unsure about those as well.


    ¡°I have an important quality to look for when you assign the employees,¡± Haderslant was telling Silone. ¡°I want them to be married. That should lower the frequency of possibly scandalous incidents. There may be some adulterers among them, but at least they know how to cover it up, I suppose. You''ll be going.¡±


    Silone ignored the relationship among those statements his father had likely not intended to imply in order to focus on something of immediate relevance. ¡°Feasible in most cases, although I don''t believe we have any married Ritualists in Fennizen. Should I call in one from elsewhere? I must do it today if so.¡±


    ¡°Really? Mr. Donnlink even?¡± Haderslant asked.


    ¡°I have an announcement. It is not to be spoken of in any circumstance which would allow the concerned parties to find out I told you.¡± Silthree placed his hands flat on the table. ¡°Donnlink Espahalpt proposed to a lady this last week. She rejected him.¡±


    That caused the eyebrows of the Ritualist supervisor''s boss to rise faster than the numbers in Stadeskosken''s ledgers. ¡°His proposal, rejected? Do such things really happen?¡±


    Silthree nodded as a doctor does when he must confirm the patient''s death to the grieving family. ¡°At times.¡±


    ¡°Extraordinary. I feel very badly for him. He may be emotionally unsuited for this journey then. What other Ritualists are available?¡± Dirant raised his hand. ¡°Ah. How did that honeymoon go?¡±


    ¡°My business in Wessolp required that I cancel.¡±


    ¡°A legitimate decision. Don''t leave these things long enough that you regret it though.¡± Haderslant returned to his first son. ¡°What about that one over there? He''s one of your brothers, you know.¡±


    ¡°I did know it,¡± Silone confirmed. ¡°We have other Ritualists however. Mr. Dirant, what qualifications do you bring to this unconventional assignment? I need not say it is essential to the future of the company.¡±


    Dirant looked at Silone''s smirk and comprehended everything. The most obvious response was that only by his actions had the endeavor become possible. By doing so, not only would he admit his complicity in such a way as suggested villainous forethought, but also he would be open to a response of this sort: ¡°And what has that to do with the business at hand? Do you propose to conquer Pavvu Omme Os and open it to trade entirely?¡± A fiendish trap, the older brother must have believed, but Dirant had his own smirk and a reason to deploy it.


    ¡°It is with embarrassment over not pursuing these valuable studies further that I admit to possessing Yumin (Intermediate) and Desurvyai (Basic), the two languages most spoken in Yean Defiafi. There is also Dvanj, and I tell you nothing new to say it is widely used as a language of trade and academics. Aside from having Dvanj (Intermediate), it is possible for me to hear Dvanjchtliv names without laughing.¡±


    ¡°You''re hired!¡± Silone did not feign his astonished admiration out of some humorous impulse. He meant it. Even Silfour, a man with an impressive amount of time spent abroad and a Fluent rating in both Desurvyai and Yumin as well as Dvanj (Basic), could not boast the same. He had been thrown out of a party once because of his inability to stop wheezing when another guest was introduced as Ushtanadzipt Smuntist. It was true that a trip through Pavvu and Yean ought not to lead them into any Ushtanadzipts, but Silfour had not expected to run into any at that party either.


    ¡°Ah! And I leveled up,¡± Dirant remarked. Could any omen for the trade mission be better than that? Unless the proper interpretation was that the employees chosen would face such danger that their current levels did not suffice. Probably not, since an extra level on a Ritualist counted for nothing in a fight. Also, omens were not real, though Dirant wondered if he should believe in omens exclusively because of what he had learned.


    <blockquote>


    Ritualist


    Priest of Holzd


    LV 7 000/1000


    HP 243


    Muscle 34


    Coordination 43 (+4)


    Verve 41 (+2)


    Sticktoitiveness 55 (+4)


    Discernment 66 (+2)


    Gumption 25 (+2)


    Tit-for-Tat 42 (+1)


    Receptivity 87 (+6)


    Panache 45 (+3)


    Class Abilities


    Ritual Judgment


    Ritual Completion


    Ritual Memory


    Ritual Delay


    Divine Guidance (Hunch)


    Ritual Humility


    General Abilities


    Adaban (Fluent)


    Heweks (Fluent)


    Tabilidgeir (Intermediate)


    Dvanj (Intermediate)


    Yumin (Intermediate)


    Desurvyai (Basic)


    Saueo (Basic)


    Mercantile Fundamentals


    Horse Riding (Intermediate)


    Class Perception (Divine)


    </blockquote>


    Divine Guidance (Hunch)? Penneram Densos mentioned such an ability, but Dirant did not recall learning it. Perhaps the exotic ritual obscured notifications. Perhaps also that very ability was encouraging him to think in terms of omens even though the description claimed he needed to concentrate to use it. Regardless, an ability learned was a boast earned, as the epigram said.

 14. Something Of A Retread

    Is There Any Task Which, Done Once, Is Not Done Faster A Second Time?


    Dozens of Adabans assembled just outside of Fennizen a week later. Dozens but not a hundred, because the countries in question would never let that many in at once. Suppose some of them were condottieri in disguise, each capable of overcoming a city of reasonable greatness in a single day? Recent events had not made anyone less wary of the wily aggression often exhibited by Greater Enloffenkir''s constituents.


    Stadeskosken had gathered loads of sellables from comparatively southerly and westerly regions sure to be in demand in the north and east. There was mabonnpaper along with paper of other sizes and thicknesses also produced in Mabonn states, for they were the most accomplished in that field on all the continent of Egillen. Company branches located in the Ottkir territories sent over pearls, many of them cultivated by human ingenuity using techniques the Ottkirs refused to share. Grapes and grape-related products came from all over, but especially from Rikenlikneher lands. The Fennizen storehouses were already loaded with yams from the previous harvest, hauled there from the far southern GE states surrounded by Chtrebliseu for mass Preservation Ritual purposes; surely the northerners would enjoy those. The Adabans themselves contributed the best metal tools on the continent as conceded by everyone, in their hearts if not aloud.


    Stadeskosken also included in the cargo a portable strongbox full of battinkirs and plaftinkirs, the standardized silver and gold bars used in Greater Enloffenkir. They would be needed in the event of currency exchanges, bribes, promising investments, or deals on northern goods too profitable to pass up. Dirant''s fingers twitched when he watched plaftinkirs being loaded, the first time he had seen any in person. Each one represented more wealth than he was paid in a year and more than he was ever likely to possess at one time. Many of the employees sometimes saw the silver bars at least pass into or out of the main offices during work hours, but since those metals required no preservation or mold prevention, Ritualists caught sight of them only by chance.


    Beyond that, the firm also dealt in goods produced outside Greater Enloffenkir and had not neglected to purchase some for its own use. Chtrebliseuan llama wool and delicate woodwinds the experts deemed a match for Pavvu stringed instruments, silver from the mines of Saueyi whether plain or already wrought into pleasing forms, Ililish Ashurin''s amber (intended for Yean Defiafi since company research indicated the sea currents gave Pavvu Omme Os its own supply), Stegzin silk, and far more beside. Well, not too much more. Limitations on weight and manpower made items such as pipe organs undesirable.


    Still, it was a lot of stuff. Wessolp as a whole never shipped so much north as Haderslant''s Stadeskosken did then in any of the years it was allowed to do so. Silapobenk Rikelta, the owner''s oldest son and presumed successor, went along to direct the expedition personally. Two of the other sons, Silapobezor and Dirant, also accompanied the trade mission, a powerful familial showing for a grand undertaking.


    Grand and slow, as Dirant realized he would not have considered the journey had he not taken his reckless religious vacation. The convoy took two days to travel what he had managed in less than one. It stopped at every town, it seemed to him, between Fennizen and Wessolp. He had no memory of Pelmit whatsoever from his earlier trip, but forever after knew it as the place where Silone insisted employees could fit five to a bed till the impartial evidence of measurements made with the assistance of rulers went against him.


    The languid pace gave Dirant a chance to try out some of his new prayers. In addition to making inquiries about possible Pickers with Edition Freeze on the staff or in some rival company which turned up nothing, he had spent the week before the venture researching theological subjects. Unfortunately, existing prayers disappointed him. Many implored Mitistiggefokand to help the supplicant through a present legal difficulty or thanked him for having done so, neither of which applied to Dirant. Worse, none of them called the god Holzd, which he had been explicitly instructed to do. Some Ritualist inventiveness solved that problem. He took the other category of prayer, the kind where the devoted recognized the previous feats of the gods, and stuck ¡°Holzd¡± in there along with some epithets he devised himself. ¡°The laws obscure in their implications became lucid through you, revolving-eyed Holzd.¡± That sort of thing. He thought it sounded respectable enough as a basis for a more elaborate request he was working up to about pointing him toward an appropriate Picker.


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    After six years, or perhaps long into the fourth day depending on the clock used, the convoy hauled into Wessolp where the mayor had promised to ensure reasonable accommodations in exchange for a reasonable fee on top of what Haderslant had paid for the market rights. Silone walked ahead to meet with the authorities, and he wished that Dirtwo come with him.


    ¡°You should learn how this sort of thing is done. Peace, I mean.¡±


    ¡°I already know how that is best accomplished. The mayor and I never meet. Everything goes smoothly.¡± Dirant''s proposal made sense to him, but Silone nevertheless dragged him along only to be disappointed when they were greeted by Lord Mayor Odinol Emmofoken''s wife rather than the man himself.


    ¡°Ah, she doesn''t know you.¡± Silone''s frown showed well his disappointment that a serious incident was averted.


    While a relief for Dirant because of the particular circumstances, in the normal course of affairs he would have taken that as an occasion for lamentation, since she was perhaps the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, the sort people without even thinking about it called raven-haired instead of dark-haired and ethereal rather than pale. The nature of the dispute between Wessolp and Patkaodotenlilk created the impression in outsiders that Councilor Sintaf Aomalptig had experienced some trouble in getting his Aomag a husband, for which reason many presumed her to be homely at best. So much for that. Perhaps her voice and manner gave offense.


    Aomag curtsied. ¡°Welcome to the halcyon city of Wessolp, gentlemen.¡± Her soft words seemed to pass through the ear as spice does the throat and warms one''s body as it makes its way through. Dirant was running out of ideas. ¡°Everything has of course been arranged, but if there is any . . . Him?¡± A subordinate was whispering to her and pointing toward the delegation. At Dirant Rikelta. ¡°You!¡±


    Mrs. Odinol stomped toward him, and if she left no craters in the ground it was a testament to the engineer who came up with the cement mix used for the street they were on. ¡°How could you vex my blameless husband so utterly? Is there righteousness left in any heart anywhere, or did selfishness and greed drive it out with drums and terrible weapons? Oh, the one desire I want fulfilled right now is for Papa and that Kelnsolt to appear at this moment so I can scold all three of you at once, because if I do it singly you three might take it as an honor that you''re worth so much time and breath!¡±


    Dirant was retreating in good order from the oncoming mayor''s wife, with no assistance from Silone of course, but he realized he could improve upon his withdrawal by distracting the enemy. His observation of condottiero methods had shown him the value in that. In fact, he had forgone preparing and delaying another Lightning Ritual in favor of a Fascination Ritual for just that reason, not that he judged it wise to deploy any rituals at the present moment. He tried a verbal deflection of blame first. ¡°It was not a matter of gain for me, and I acted as I did only with the aim of fulfilling a religious obligation.¡± He thought Aomag slowed a bit and decided to throw in something for his old partner''s sake. ¡°And for Kelnsolt, a contract must be carried out regardless of his inclination if he is to remain a professional.¡±


    The assault was unquestionably abating. Aomag Aomalptig relented so far as to cross her arms while she scowled rather than stretch both hands in the direction of Dirant''s throat. ¡°It was wrong of him to take it up in the first place. Hmph. The temple people did make a great fuss over their statue. They said good tidings were assured. I don''t see much of a reason to believe myself, but they seemed so happy. They even threw a rich feast that cheered everyone up nicely after what you did.¡±


    ¡°There was at least one man in the city who needed no cheering by then. Neither can he hope for future blessings, because nothing can surpass this one here.¡± Lord Mayor Odinol Emmofoken walked up and collected his wife, who squealed and pretended to attempt to shove him away. ¡°Pardon me my lateness, sir. I inadvertently forced you to see something undignified.¡± He bowed to Silapobenk.


    ¡°By no means, Your Honor,¡± Stadeskosken''s representative responded.


    Dirant began to review his preconceptions as to the nature of the incidents his father hoped to avoid by staffing the expedition with married employees. Certainly he, as a single young man, wished to punch a mayor right about then, whereas the far more married Silone had viewed the entire sequence with equanimity. And amusement, but that was a separate issue.

 15. Entrance Into Pavvu Omme Os

    Hope Of Gain Is The Enemy Of Borders


    No further unpleasantness marred the caravan''s stay in Wessolp, not even a attempt on Dirant''s life despite universal agreement that he deserved one or two. Stadeskosken moved out in the morning and halted soon after, for the man in charge wished to address a few points of concern.


    ¡°Today we enter Pavvu Omme Os. Few of us have been to this country before. I have not. Therefore we all feel keenly the duty a guest owes to both his hosts: the one soon to house him and the other back home whom he must not disgrace. Noble thoughts, but remember that we are here to move product. Set up fast and be pushy. Every buyer expects that, whatever the country. Now. I hope you have read your pamphlets as instructed. Tell me, how shall we address these Pavvus?¡±


    ¡°Forbear to call them Pavvus!¡± the employees roared back, and Silone smiled, satisfied.


    The section of their informational material that dealt with terminology was quite clear. ¡°The tendency to abbreviate has resulted in many harmless or even appealing formulations such as ''the GE'' or Grenlof in place of Greater Enloffenkir, or Adaban rather than ''man or woman belonging to the Adabanneher tribe.'' Not all abbreviations deserve a place in the speech of the conscientious traveler, however. Pavvu Omme Os, or Healthy Tranquil Country as it may be rendered outside of the Usse tongue, has for a northern neighbor Pavvu Istis, or Empty Country. The thoughtful reader has already made two discoveries. One is that to use the common term ¡°Pavvus¡± to refer to the inhabitants of this land is as much as to call them ¡°Countries,¡± and the other regards the failure of the term to distinguish between the two peoples who, though to us they seem as alike as two Adabannehers, conceive of themselves as being just as distinct from each other as Adabannehers are from Hewekers.


    ¡°Let us move on then to permissible forms of address. To begin, consider what the inhabitants of Pavvu Omme Os and Pavvu Istis call themselves, that being Jalpi Peffu in the case of the former and for the latter, Jalpi Sessu. That is to say, the Town People and Shore People respectively. The traveler hoping to cultivate friendships with his hosts as he goes about their country is well advised to habituate himself to the use of those terms, but the traveling businessman must never do so. The Jalpi Peffu are no isolated tribe. They are aware the outside world calls them Pavvus, however absurd a name they find it. They deem an honest mistake a lesser crime than insincerity, and further view the merchant who makes a false show of friendship before attempting a sale as a base, dishonest person. A saying current in Pavvu Omme Os, ''Don''t pat the pig with a knife in your hand,'' applies to this category of relationship.


    ¡°There exists a compromise useful to the commercial traveler: ''Omme'' or ''Ommes.'' The word omme signifies ''tranquil'' and is therefore not entirely capable of standing on its own in a purely grammatical sentence, but it has a pleasant sound to the ear of the native Usse speaker. Furthermore, it indicates a concern for local sentiment in its attempt to separate the Jalpi Peffu from the Jalpi Sessu which is unlikely to be taken amiss.


    ¡°An unfortunate fact which must be admitted here is that any such solicitous measures will not be reciprocated. Aside from a few academics, there is hardly a single Jalpi Peffu aware that there are multiple tribes populating Greater Enloffenkir, and that rare cosmopolitan believes Adaban to be the proper term for all of them combined; that is to say, that ''Adabanneher'' is a subdivision of ''Adaban'' and not the full name of which the latter is a shortening. There is nothing to be done about this but smile and accept compliments as they are intended to be taken.¡±


    That was what the first printing said before Stadeskosken''s editors managed to shorten the expert''s advice to this: ¡°Forbear to call them Pavvus. Ommes is better.¡± The first printing had been made available to any employee who wished to gain a more in-depth understanding, possibly in preparation for future trips, but most made do with the condensed edition unless they were managers or held an ambition to become such. Silone kept shoving the thing into Silfour''s hands until the latter gave up. Dirtwo acquiesced on the first attempt, aware his Sticktoitiveness was too close to Silfour''s for him to rely on putting up a more obstinate resistance.


    The commercial venture resumed and crossed the invisible line into Pavvu Omme Os, though some very visible soldiers waited on the other side. They stood tall in their brown wool coats that everyone knew covered metal armor that did not quite match that of Adaban creation in quality, and they held their halberds straight. By tall of course the Adabans meant short, for Omme men had trouble looking over the heads of Adaban women. Among the Stadeskosken employees, ¡°qualified for the Omme army¡± soon became the euphemism of choice for the shorter among them.


    But aside from the soldiers, nothing about the land of Pavvu Omme Os differed from Wessolp''s territory. That disappointed Dirant. He had been told so often not to believe old legends about foreign lands filled with strange and exotic phenomena such as rivers flowing up mountains, children born in the saddle during cattle raids, secluded villages where dragons and humans lived together, and fields where silk is grown like corn that he had been starting to suspect they were all true. He decided to take that as a reminder not to jettison all his former convictions just because he met a god a couple times and was transported to another continent for an hour.


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    ¡°And yet is it wrong to think the world would be more delightful if Pavvu Omme Os were covered in ice throughout the year that the natives shaped into houses for themselves?¡± He asked that of Onsalkant Stiskenhalpt, the man riding nearest him and one of the better-traveled employees, rather than any of the locals. Otherwise the question might have been indelicate.


    ¡°At any rate, that would really be something for my Emmeg to put in her dispatches, really thrill the readers.¡±


    ¡°I wasn''t entirely looking to thrill anyone with my travel diaries, dear,¡± Mrs. Onsalkant remarked.


    Onsalkant winked at Dirant. ¡°If you ever are in this situation yourself, my advice is that you must absolutely not say, ''And how well you have succeeded, my dear!''¡± His wife laughed, which called into question the value of the advice.


    The first town where the convoy was permitted to participate in the market sat on the Meggi Tem, the southern of the country''s two major rivers. Called Eptem, the non-truncated pamphlet described it this way: ¡°The word eptem signifies a seat of honor of some sort and not merely a chair usable by anyone. Once this lovely town served as the capital of a kingdom long lost to the shifting fortunes of politics. Today it is most famous for its monuments to multiple battles in which the defenders succeeded in preventing armies composed primarily of Adabans and Hewekers from crossing the river. Perhaps as a result of that, the inhabitants often display neither hostility nor friendliness toward the traveler from Greater Enloffenkir, but condescension instead.¡±


    Lieutenant-Governor Toltes Uimtu Sutki did his best to live up to that characterization. He delivered his instructions to the expedition''s fluent Usse translators in a loud voice, halting every couple sentences to ask if they had understood all that. As to the limits of permitted behavior, those were not onerous. The visitors were warned that selling anything outside of the designated market time and place would result in revocation of their permit and that making arrangements with a buyer to be finalized at the market counted. Pavvu Omme Os officers had brains of their own and permission to use them; attempts to exploit edge cases in the law would be punished. Outside of that, any untoward activities by a member of the trade mission such as robbery or public drunkenness would incur a hefty fine. They were expected to return to the lodgings they had arranged beforehand to sleep, but their other movements were not restricted. That was all. He hoped they would have a great time in Eptem, he said with a smile which communicated even to those bereft of Usse knowledge that he suspected they would not.


    They did not. Sightseeing went well enough at first. They were free to walk around and gaze at the Omme houses, most of them made from some gray brick. Smaller than Fennizen''s buildings, the normal house was a single story with an attic. Larger ones, the homes of the rich and public edifices such as the lieutenant-governor''s headquarters, delighted the travelers with a form of decoration unknown at home. Rather than some elaborate facade, arresting paint scheme, or decorative pillars, those buildings relied on the bricks themselves, which eschewed a rectangular regularity in favor of distinct shapes that converted the walls themselves into entrancing geometric arrangements.


    They checked out Omme fashion as well. The men wore loose, baggy, or downright puffy pants that stopped somewhere on the calf to allow a good look at their thick socks which went up who knew how much farther. They had wool coats over that, not closed like the military version and not brown either, but rather colored to match the shirt underneath. Ommes typically covered most of the crown and forehead with head scarves dyed in bright colors that again formed geometric designs, but their hair, commonly light brown or dirty blond, poked out in the sides and back. Women wore the same as far as socks and head scarves, though most let more hair show. They wore skirts in place of pants and kept closed their coats of a shorter cut below which a bit of shirt extended for color coordination purposes.


    ¡°The variety is nice, yet I must prefer our hats to theirs.¡± A member of the mission flicked the end of the wide, wide brim of the hats worn by the Adaban men.


    ¡°But we are in town. You don''t wear traveling hats there either, or not normally,¡± said someone else who sported the version with a smaller brim that drooped fetchingly, the women who preferred it hoped.


    ¡°What you say is true and the very reason I begged to be allowed on this trip.¡±


    Attempts to find the local points of interest went less well, since every local insisted on pointing the Adabans to assorted monuments of Omme military victories. The travelers took those recommendations as evidence of an earnest neighborly spirit at first, but the problem arose when natives refused to tell the Adabans about any other good locations no matter how many times they explained they had seen all the war monuments already. Even worse, when the travelers asked how to gain admission to one of those famed Omme orchestras, the citizens invariably told them, ¡°Practice!¡± How they all laughed afterward.


    Many of the employees began to fear their journey would not be so pleasant as they had imagined. Nevertheless, a job was a job, and the next day all the company personnel, even the Ritualist, assisted with unloading the stuff designated for sale there and manning the Stadeskosken section in the town market. It was the day most of them took their weekly day off mandated by company policy, but all had agreed (in writing) that simply traveling did not count as work.


    The locals contrived a process which allowed them to buy obviously inferior Adaban goods. They pointed the company''s stalls out to their friends, rolled their eyes, and laughed as they made their ironic purchases. ¡°Ah, smiling customers,¡± Silone remarked during a lull. That wry observation relieved some of the tension felt by the employees. If even Silapobenk of all people found humor in the situation, so could they.


    They were glad to hear the order to move out. The lieutenant-governor escorted them to the outskirts of town personally. When seeing the Stadeskosken people off so they could become someone else''s problem, his manner had some agreeableness to it, enough so that the travelers could appreciate better the personal qualities of that giant of an Omme who was even taller than some of them. But not many.

 16. Mosso Eksu Is A Respectable Town

    Its Government Is Well-Ordered


    The convoy progressed over a road thinner than those they knew at home. It curved as it went to stay beside the sparkling Meggi Tem, which they had all called Meggi Tem River before they got to the part of the pamphlet that defined Meggi Tem as South River. ¡°It is the major concern of all this journey,¡± one wag said, ¡°that we must devise some method to let everyone back in Fennizen know of our increasing worldliness, or else what good is travel?¡±


    His fellow employees agreed. They went to work suggesting ways to bring casual conversations around to fun Pavvu Omme Os facts and kept it up under the soothing sun and the rambunctious rain clouds that disappointed the Adabans by not carrying in snow. Certainly it snowed at home sometimes, and they realized of course that their northern neighbor must have its rain as well. Yet every poem, play, and serial set there spoke of wintry settings conducive to philosophical contemplation or else murder. The weather reminded the travelers they had come too early to see the true north. A depressing reflection.


    Though the next permitted market was all the way in Mosso Eksu, a couple days away, Pavvu Omme Os did not compress itself for Stadeskosken''s convenience. It insisted the Adabans pass through the villages and beside the farms, herds, and fir trees along the way, the latter of which had been planted in complex patterns determined by Omme researchers as optimal to blunt the mighty winds often suffered there, according to the pamphlet. While the scenery was standard, what the travelers had not expected was musical accompaniment. Ommes relaxed of an evening with cellos and such in their hands under the reddening sky, and at any time men and women walking along might start up a song under no visible compulsion, something usually seen in Greater Enloffenkir only when the bars closed. Not only that, but many of the spontaneous singers hit their notes. Pavvu Omme Os: a miraculous country.


    Mosso Eksu welcomed the Adabans and everyone else, it seemed. Boats from the east and wagons from the north transported the world thither. The Adabans saw some of those divided skirts the pamphlet said Omme travelers liked as well as the style of scarf that trailed away to dangle over one shoulder, a fashion popular around the northern river. Civic Quartermaster Ukkip Timga Onsalkamto smiled non-condescendingly when he came to meet the Stadeskosken contingent.


    ¡°Is it only my ears, or is there something familiar about that last name?¡± Dirant asked Onsalkant before he corrected himself. ¡°Or rather that personal name.¡±


    ¡°Perhaps one of our countrymen came here and loved it enough to throw off his old allegiances,¡± Onsalkant suggested.


    But no. Some names are simply broader in their appeal than others. That official, who oversaw the market and various matters of supply in Mosso Eksu, was as Omme as any Os who ever Pavvued, from his height to his brown hair to his position in the military government that ruled the country. He spread his arms wide as if to grab every visitor to his town all at once and hug them to his portly frame, and he addressed them in Adaban which was better than perfect on account of his accent.


    ¡°You businessmen have such felicity to come at such a time! Yes, but, first we say what duty has us say. Ahem. Do not buy, sell, or offer for sale any item outside of the permitted market at the designated times. Here they are.¡± He handed Silapobenk Rikelta an official notice. ¡°Any unlawful activity will result in a fine in addition to the normal penalty. You are expected to sleep nowhere but the facilities described in your paperwork without a specific request to, and acceptance from, the relevant official. I am he. Done! Now I want to tell you about the debate. I want to tell everyone!¡±


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    A debate? They had those in Greater Enloffenkir, but the pamphlet warned the Adabans (and others who managed to get their hands on it) not to confuse the Pavvu Omme Os version with some university exercise of no relevance. For Ommes, a debate was an important public event. Two teams made their cases according to rules established earlier and the audience, or rather the members of it qualified based on their level, wealth, landowning status, or history of official positions depending on those same rules, voted on the winner. The hosting town then sent a summary of the debate and the results of the vote to the central government offices in Peffu Empe in order that the parliament of officers could take the will of the people into account when setting policy in that area. There was nothing binding about debate results, just as there was nothing stopping mobs from burning down the nearest lieutenant-governor''s headquarters, a fact which had been proved on several occasions.


    ¡°Mosso Eksu has been renowned for the accuracy and transparency of its stargazers for longer than long. That is, while there are stargazers in other towns who made more of their predictions public they were not so accurate, and though some claim to be more accurate, psh! How can we believe them if they keep their projections secret? That is the background, the reputation of the community here which for centuries was unassailable. But assailing reputations has become very much the fashion these days. We have skeptics looking askance at everything and debunkers who weep when they find nothing not already debunked. I don''t know. Should I say more? Is it similar in the Adaban dominions?¡±


    The civic quartermaster was encouraged by the unhesitating nods of the visitors. ¡°Then we understand each other. I never know just how much further along we are than everyone else.¡± The nods turned into other motions and gestures, but he ignored them. Perhaps their meanings had not made it into his pamphlet. ¡°I don''t wish to elaborate on that side subject. I want to say the teams this time are led by two of our most prominent orators today, the Heaven and Earth Evokers they are called. Eksu Pui Hikku will defend the legitimacy of stargazing and Luas Taikko Hinmi will attack it. What an event it will be! You can''t vote of course, but I hope you will not be too busy to see it. I think you won''t be, because the only people who try to do business then are up to some crime. I say you should have some fun even on a serious trip, but my view is only one among all there are out there.¡±


    Silapobenk Rikelta felt some response to be required, but as to the nature of it, he had no idea. ¡°This debate is predicted to be . . . fun? Is there something unusual about it aside from the prominence of the debaters?¡±


    ¡°Of a certainty it will be fun! What kind of debates do you have in your country?¡± Ukkip Timga Onsalkamto sighed and shook his head. ¡°I try to remember that Adabans can never relax and enjoy. I even learned the speech so I could tell you to cheer up. I forgot again though. Please forgive me.¡±


    ¡°Ah, yes, it is nothing to be forgiven.¡± The Stadeskosken representative extracted himself from that subject with as much grace and vagueness as he could muster, but it continued to confound the lower employees while they made their preparations for the next day''s market after the civic quartermaster left.


    ¡°Isn''t it understood across this entire continent and over the ocean as well to continents such as Neast and Dosoroz, reported by sailors, that Grenlofers are the foremost in entertainment? No other country I know of has mastered the theatrical art of goslikenar, or even attempted it.¡± Stansolt Gaomat, a young man with lighter brown hair than most Adabans and a more winning smile than any but a few, selected for the expedition based on his Fluent status in Desurvyai and Dvanj as well as his proficiency as a Battler in the event of violence, discoursed on the topic even as he tossed around boxes until Silone told him to stop that last thing. Not because he feared any clumsiness on Stansolt''s part, but to discourage imitators. Quite apart from the shade of his hair and his smile, few employees could match his Coordination.


    The Stadeskosken group was unable to stage its own debate as everyone agreed with Stansolt, and so no rival event distracted from the great stargazing controversy. The locals, eager to discuss the matter with anyone regardless of how Adaban the other party might be, mingled freely with the travelers and pointed them to the best restaurants, the oldest shrines, and hills particularly suitable for viewing celestial bodies as they spun night by night through the unbounded sky. As a result, the foreigners acclimated themselves to the local environment sufficiently to absorb a few degrees of excitement from the ambient feeling of anticipation.

 17. The Celebrities Arrive

    Honored Are Rhetoricians when Listeners Are Attentive To Their Speeches


    The next day, the employees agreed among themselves to take more frequent, shorter shifts. Those on break dashed off to watch for the debaters, who were expected to arrive from the north. Not that there was any chance of missing them, for the news of it sped as fast as Usse could be spoken the moment they came into town. The guests of honor reached Mosso Eksu together, no doubt by previous arrangement, and proceeded directly toward the town center. They attracted attention by their sheer Panache that had served them so well in their careers as well as a shared inclination toward showmanship.


    The primary debaters both appeared to be entering the prime age for that sort of career, their late 30s or early 40s, when youthful daring joined to itself respectable prudence. If someone said, ¡°Imagine a handsome man,¡± Eksu Pui Hikku would not appear in any mind, but he had a sparkle in his eyes of someone full of cheer whose company was much desired. He was a man of middle height among his countrymen, and his hair was a typical leather-looking brown. The red scarf which covered his head bore star patterns; no doubt his servants had not plucked it out of a closet at random. Or a drawer. Where did Ommes keep those when not in use? Stadeskosken''s hired experts said nothing on the subject.


    Luas Taikko Hinmi was short even for a woman of the Jalpi Peffu and crowned by that shade of hair which, the pamphlet informed the Stadeskosken employees, Ommes sometimes called ginger but they ought not, as it could be a sensitive subject. Her apparel coordinated a range of greens rather than the two-tone arrangements on which the normal, non-Colorist Omme relied for dependable results, and her delicate gestures implied that a similar level of sophistication attached to everything she did.


    The translators did what they could to get across the gist of all the Usse being spoken, a language that may as well have been painted pebbles rattled in a jug for all the typical Adaban could make of it. ¡°It was agreed between them to disclose none of their actual arguments before the debate itself. They are exchanging compliments now. Ah, and speaking of previous debates, speaking engagements, so on, some of these comments are quite pointed. The crowd is entertained, but it is very subtle and difficult to translate.¡±


    Eksu Pui Hikku and Luas Taikko Hinmi saluted each other. ¡°The period of barbs is at an end, both feel,¡± they declared in concert according to the translator. They turned to the crowd and raised their voices. ¡°What is wanted now is a general sense of the prevailing sentiment. How many of the Jalpi still believe in the shameless advertising of stargazers? How many are illiterate and therefore incapable of reading the records of correct predictions that go back eight centuries?¡± The Ommes laughed at the phrasing of the questions. ¡°Ah, that man just shouted he is dumb enough to fall in both categories, and it seems he has won over the audience to his position entirely. The debaters are praising him. What''s this?¡±


    Luas Taikko Hinmi pretended to have seen the Adaban commercial delegation at that moment and no sooner. She sauntered toward them and asked for a translator, who related this speech directed at the foreigners but meant for the Ommes. ¡°We have established the incapability of the Town People. If injurious to our view of ourselves, it was ever the expected result. Well, inflated confidence needs killing anyway. How is it with our magnificent neighbors to the south whose desire to enjoy our company is so overwhelming that they often drop by uninvited? We''ll leave aside the trouble Adabans have crossing rivers on these trips; that is an engineering question.¡± The crowd was having a great time while the Stadeskosken workers maintained fixed smiles. ¡°Today my curiosity is about immaterial thinking. How about it, Adabans? Have you realized amid your armories and vaults that everything proceeds according to immutable principles? That we, I mean every branch of humanity''s tree who are ignorant of anything an inch beyond our roots, have only just begun to comprehend a foot of it? That some of us suppose in error that what we understand is all that can be understood and everything beyond that we can file under some nebulous ''natural'' or ''supernatural'' as if it has nothing to do with us, when in fact reality has such an encompassing regularity to it that even gods, if they exist, are undeniably a part of it, subject to the same rules as the rest of us whether we comprehend them or not?¡±


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    When the translator finished, the Adabans nodded and said that sounded about right. Only one among them proffered an objection, a young man who believed he had seen some evidence that the gods treated reason as children do a ball they find in the street. ¡°It is no indictment of a tree that it stops at its roots where it must. I might judge a little harsher a tree that yells at the birds and deer about it that they must stop all the flying and running around they do unless they wish to damage their own roots.¡±


    ¡°That is exactly, I mean the combination of these two statements, hers and yours, why I despise analogies. They don''t get us anywhere really.¡± Silfour told his younger brother that, and neither noticed that the translator was putting their words into Usse until Eksu Pui Hikku came over to congratulate them on their perspicacity.


    ¡°The Adabans surpassed us in rhetoric long ago if they have realized the uselessness of analogies, conceits, metaphors, and all the various fallbacks of a failing argument. More important is an understanding of categories, and besides that a willingness to fit theory to observation rather than the reverse. Can young gentlemen such as these two have learned more about the world than our scholars in any other way but that our brightest have spent a great deal of time inventing nonsense when the truth was above us at night?¡±


    The crowd liked that just as much as the Adaban-bashing earlier. Dirant Rikelta became the favorite of the pro faction, since ¡°even an Adaban¡± agreed with them. Leaving aside the indisputable fact he had taken no stance on the subject of the debate, his adoption as mascot exposed the pros to mockery by the antis for relying on that clich¨¦. ¡°We have more Adabans than you if we decide to care what they think, but why should we? Don''t pay tribute when you haven''t been beaten,¡± they said.


    Meanwhile, Eksu Pui Hikku was introducing himself to the Adabans through a translator. ¡°Evoker Eksu Pui Hikku, present,¡± he said as he saluted Dirant.


    ¡°Our meeting is a blessing for me. My name is Ritualist Dirant Rikelta.¡± A gentleman did not include his class in Greater Enloffenkir, but the customs of Pavvu Omme Os demanded it. ¡°And it is Pui we may call you, is that correct?¡± The pamphlet described the three or four names of most Ommes as a nickname taken up in adulthood, a family name, the husband''s family name if applicable, and a personal name given by one''s parents. Strangers, among civilians at least, normally referred to one another by the family name, friends by the adult name, and family or other intimates by the childhood name. Dirant believed in the accuracy of the experts Stadeskosken had paid, but he believed even more in hedging when it came to the risk of insulting someone on company time.


    ¡°Correct. In return, what is it, Mr. Rikkelta? That sounds right.¡±


    ¡°Ah. And it would be with more than one Dirant around. Otherwise Mr. Dirant is preferred, though the sound of that is strange when I say it.¡±


    ¡°A complex society you have down there,¡± Pui laughed. ¡°There is one over there, as it happens. We met on the road.¡± He pointed at an Adaban on the other side of the market. Seeing him, Dirant concluded his polite greetings and asked Silfour to take over his shift, which was a simple request to honor since nobody was doing any commerce or lifting amid the hubbub anyway. He dashed over.


    ¡°Is that a Dirant Ratsafaoren I see? He is unquestionably a ghost, for the living one was in Chtrebliseu the last I heard, where the spices are more to his preference.¡±


    The man turned around. ¡°Am I to believe Dirant Rikelta is here where there are no strange rituals to chase? Try something better.¡± The two Todelk-educated Ritualists walked off together to renew their acquaintance.

 18. An Invitation To Dine

    If The Potential Guest Does Not Feel Free To Refuse, The Conscientious Host Will Not Feel Free To Invite


    After the civic quartermaster announced the market''s closure, an Omme approached and asked to speak to the Rikelta, or rather Rikkelta, in charge. He did so in passable Adaban as well. ¡°Colorist Hewwikke Satvo Sau, if that''s acceptable. Call me Hewwikke because I like it a lot. Satvo, well, it''s all right,¡± he said to introduce himself. Tall for an Omme and respectable among Adabans, the way he squinted and seemed to be leaning his lanky frame forward at all times undercut any impression of dignity he may have wished to give, but his smooth silk shirt and scarf implied a certain level of prosperity. ¡°I''m the founder, owner, and wrangler of Kekket Ittame, the fastest-growing publishing concern in Pavvu Omme Os. My guys will be writing up the debate, doing interviews, and adding original reporting. That''s my business. Now to prove I''m not an Adaban-hater, let me say I have Usse publishing rights for many popular Adaban serials including Among the Proud Hills, and I love the money they bring in.¡±


    Onsalkant Stiskenhalpt spoke up. ¡°Not to mention Dispatches From a Crass Endeavor, the travelogue of that eminent wit Emmeg Bolsatoken.¡± His wife, Emmeg of the Bolsatoken family, blushed and told him to hush.


    ¡°I wasn''t going to mention it, but I love that one too. I just don''t want to load a wagon too full so to speak. Among the Proud Hills is excess heavy by itself.¡±


    ¡°Is it a genuine big deal?¡± Dirant asked. ¡°A Simple Week in the Country is the mountain of mountains in Greater Enloffenkir.¡±


    Silone corrected him. ¡°They say that in parlors. They read something quite different in their homes. I will be fair and say the ''they'' in either instance is often not the same as the other. But a purportedly clever social comedy will never become a seller on the level of Among the Proud Hills, which is such a phenomenon that there has been discussion of working up a periodical filled with nothing but imitations of it. We will pick up any desperate author, dump the poor performers after a month or so, and replace them as we go.¡±


    ¡°I came here to talk about something else. Now I want to discuss that, too. I should go back to the first part.¡± Hewwikke gave his head scarf a yank and continued. ¡°The point is that for dinner tonight I''m having over the chief debaters, the civic quartermaster, and some friends of the family, and I thought the number one Stadeskosken guy would fit in. There''s a language issue there if you come. That''s how I like it. It gives people time to think about their answers. Conversations are more intellectual that way. Maybe we can work the thing up into a story. I''d like you to bring this other guy to increase the interest, since I guess he''s a celebrity for the next three hours.¡± He pointed at Dirant.


    ¡°We aren''t quite unmannerly enough to refuse.¡± Silapobenk Rikelta offered his hand. Just as the pamphlet assured him, Ommes knew what a handshake was.


    ¡°Seven o''clock, show up early if you want, not before six though.¡± Hewwikke tromped off with no grace but good speed.


    Dirant suffered a slight bit of nervousness. ¡°Is this where we cultivate relationships and such? I tried that out once, as I understood the principles, and ended up the implacable enemy of an entire city.¡±


    Silone sat him down and took a seat himself in preparation for a serious discussion. ¡°That''s a common beginner mistake. Be careful not to rush in the moment you see a potential advantage. We want first to establish connections before we evaluate what we might get out of them. That means giving favors but also accepting them. For example, this Hewwikke will feed us and think of us henceforth as his guests, even amid tense negotiations. Ensure your name is known. Say Stadeskosken often. Find ways to communicate your familial relationship with the owner to give outsiders the sense that talking to you is an inside route. Refer to me anyone who attempts to set up a meeting or come to a definite agreement and brief me on the person when we are alone. You see?¡±


    ¡°That all has a good sound in a general way. I must practice it. ''Hello! Stadeskosken. My name is Dirant Rikelta, Rikelta being the Stadeskosken family that owns and operates Stadeskosken. Give me something.'' Like so?¡±


    Silone nodded. ¡°That''s about it.¡± Then he ordered Silfour to put Dirtwo in a headlock and scrape his head with his knuckles.


    Hewwikke Satvo Sau''s domicile fit in with Pavvu Omme Os architectural principles in that it was bigger than what most people lived in because he was rich. Most cultures possessed similar frameworks. The main house stood three stories (or two with a comfortable attic) made of bricks in patterns which might make someone dizzy if he stared too long from the feeling that the wall itself was climbing upward endlessly. It reminded Dirant of Holzd''s vest, except less colorful.


    Stones fenced off an estate that extended some distance impossible to judge from the front because of the fat main building. Nor were those rude stones piled up and joined together by mortar, but tall things more than a head above all but the luckiest men, polished till they glistened black, white, or that shade between those. Chisels had carved phrases in them in vertical print. The two Rikelta guests recognized omme, from which they guessed the words wished well to those within their boundaries.


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    ¡°It may be that these are excerpts from Among the Proud Hills,¡± Dirant also mused.


    ¡°Could they be part of some ritual? Perhaps to resist intruders?¡±


    ¡°If they are intended to be, the buyer deserves a refund. I will attest to that in court if asked.¡± Dirant remembered his ethics education and hurried to correct himself. ¡°And I mean that I would testify the ritual as currently constituted cannot function. Whether the buyer was practiced upon or undid the work himself by moving a stone out of alignment or some other error, it is beyond me to say.¡±


    Silone nodded. ¡°I understand. We must look to another expert if ever we have a legal dispute over a Ritualist''s work.¡±


    ¡°Yes. Further, you ought to have had me do the work in the first place.¡±


    With that settled, the two brothers requested and were granted entry to Hewwikke Satvo Sau''s home. The country''s monochrome decoration tendencies applied exclusively either to the outside or to Ommes other than this one, because the inside knew how to have a good time. A servant escorted the pair over a Chtrebliseuan carpet of the turquoise type. That meant a circle the color of turquoise took up the center and the rest was tinged in blue as if a quite different sun shone in the sky of the world depicted and threw its light over horses, bears, ducks, and other beasts that paraded endlessly, each species in its own concentric ring. He took them to a sitting room where a tapestry covered one long wall and depicted, it appeared, a heroic account of the invention of the printing press. The characters had such detail about them that it seemed rude not to offer them a seat, a sure sign the tapestry came from the country of Drastlif far to the south, east, and southeast. What a long country it was.


    Too bad for those vivid figures, because the fur-covered chairs had occupants already, or at least the nicest ones. Hewwikke introduced the newcomers in accordance with the obligations of hosts in both Pavvu Omme Os and Greater Enloffenkir. ¡°I''m pleased about everything, but especially to present . . . Silapo . . . benk Rikelta . . .¡± The careful pronunciation took him some effort. The Adabans appreciated that but failed to realize that the hardest part for him was the simple Adaban B, a letter avoided in the north as a rule. ¡°Or Pinpointer Rikkelta Silapo . . . benk if you can''t handle that. He is the senior employee of the traders generously sent by the Adaban company Stadeskosken to ensure we are provided with southern desirables, with the unfortunate Wessolp situation being the way it is. You can read more about that in the thorough account of the affair soon to be published by me. He''s also the owner''s eldest son, but don''t be intimidated.¡±


    He pointed to Silapobenk so that eminent personage knew when to incline his head. That done, he continued. ¡°Next to him is another of the owner''s sons. I don''t know which one. He is . . . Dirant . . . Rikelta. That''s right. Or Ritualist Rikkelta Dirant.¡± He pointed again. Dirant figured that he should give a small bow to represent his inferior status compared to Silone. The Ommes saluted in return.


    The host next switched to Adaban in order to introduce his more local guests to the southerners, as he thought of them. ¡°First I have to present our civic quartermaster, Workman Ukkip Timga Onsalkamto.¡±


    ¡°I don''t think you do, Hewwikke!¡± Timga said that and chuckled.


    ¡°We were kindly met by the civic quartermaster when we arrived,¡± Silapobenk explained.


    ¡°Nobody told me. I would have sent a reporter. All right then, how about this one? Here''s Warm Body Oppo Imlakke Pau. He''s a banker. I''ve transacted with him and haven''t been robbed yet. He came to watch the debate when he had some vacation time coming, so I put him up in case he was secretly trying to skip out to Yean Defiafi with a bundle of cash. I''ll have his bags searched later.¡±


    Timga snorted and another of the guests bit down on her head scarf to keep from laughing, though the man indicated had no special reaction. He looked to be about Silone''s age, or Hewwikke''s for that matter. Which is to say, in his thirties. Some muddy blond hair poked out from under his black scarf; speaking of which, the Adabans both realized they had forgotten to check the pamphlet for whether they were supposed to remove their hats indoors. They had removed them before they even went there, but perhaps that was a mistake.


    The banker''s broad shoulders and graceful movements ought to have belonged to someone qualified for a more prestigious class than Warm Body, but perhaps the banker cared nothing for abilities that did not further his profession. He saluted.


    The Adabans bowed back, both straight-faced and a tad stiff. Seeing that, the quartermaster gave them an explanation. ¡°That was the plot of the first really successful novel Hewwikke''s press printed.¡±


    ¡°Ah, I see.¡± The two relaxed then, and Timga began to lecture his host for ever thinking Adabans might take something lightly.


    ¡°Never mind, never mind. Another guest, this is the daughter of one of my . . . of an author of popular history I am privileged to publish, Battler Millim Takki Atsa.¡± The young woman with the helpful head scarf stood and saluted. Her black eyes, auburn hair (tied in a tail and allowed to flop over the shoulder opposite her scarf''s train in obedience to prevailing northern Omme fashion), and slightly less adorable height compared to some of her countrywomen possibly implied some Mabonn or Obenecan heritage, the latter more likely in Pavvu Omme Os. The bitten scarf was teal with stripes turning in sharp angles made in white, she wore a pale orange divided skirt, and she wielded a halberd when doing Battler stuff. That last was a guess based on the halberd propped against the back of her chair.


    ¡°Our meeting is a blessing for me,¡± she said in Adaban.


    Dirant responded first. ¡°No less for me.¡± Ordinarily he would have let Silone go first, but he felt like making a change for some reason. Silone contented himself with second.


    One guest remained for Hewwikke to introduce, as the debaters had not arrived. ¡°Presenting Workman Kul Puvva Kampumso. He''s part of the Kekket Ittame family. We aren''t a family at all. I wanted to make us seem more like Stadeskosken so you would be able to relax in familiar surroundings.¡± He pointed. Puvva stood up, smoothed the sides of his pants, saluted, and smoothed out his pants again in case something had happened in the interval. With his blond hair and height that was unimpressive even for an Omme, he was one of those men people might be tempted to call cute quite against the wishes of the compliment''s recipient.

 19. Dinner And A Mystery

    No Matter How Salty The Food, The Talk May Be Sour


    That was all of them until Luas Taikko Hinmi came in and, later, Eksu Pui Hikku, not counting the servants. Some of their names were mentioned too when Hewwikke ordered them around, but without formal introductions, how could the Adabans remember them? It would have been wrong even to try.


    Once they had arrived, Hewwikke at last considered the foundation laid to brag about his house. ¡°I believe in modesty as much as anyone, but my Ink House here isn''t me. No, I built it though, and I finally got everything just the way I want it. It''s been years. I want you all to know you''re the first guests in the last edition of the place, as it were. Until I change my mind about something. Knock out a few walls maybe. Uh oh. Start talking! Distract me!¡±


    The guests obliged their host with conversation that kept to general topics such cultural influences on popularity as revealed by the differing popularity of various novels, poets, and essayists. The quartermaster continued to insist it all had to do with the attitude of Adabans toward fun, that being confused hostility, while Taikko suggested that the more elegant the prose, the harder it was to break through into other countries while the blunter stuff made an impact. Pui suggested she make a speech on that topic to provide consolation to unsuccessful authors.


    Talk in that vein lasted up to dinner, at which point Hewwikke showed his guests into his dining room. The single long table reminded Dirant of the company cafeteria, except that the people sitting down at it had expressions of anticipation instead of dread. There was also the fact that the seats had cushions and failed to sag under his unexceptional weight. Perhaps he was simply feeling homesick.


    When foreigners thought about the cuisine of Pavvu Omme Os, it was only when reading some travelogue in which the writer mentioned how salty everything was. Assorted reports disagreed as to the desirability of the situation, but not about its existence. When the pile of salt which had some goat meat buried in it as a special treat came out, they knew the true Omme experience was upon them. Both complimented it of course, but Dirant hid his opinion that it was a little much as he drank cider in such amounts that the broad and sluggish Ontoffemmiror River back home would have feared his frightful thirst.


    The next course defied their culinary expectations. A tray came out covered by a lid that, when removed, revealed food for the mind rather than the body in the form of a sheaf of papers.


    ¡°A mystery!¡± The Battler, Takki, shouted that first in Usse as she grabbed the papers and again in Adaban for the convenience of the southern visitors while she read. ¡°Does anyone want to know how the debate will turn out? It''s all written out here neatly in true professional fashion. ''Published by Kekket Ittame,'' it says at the bottom.¡±


    ¡°How did that get in here? That''s probably secret information.¡± Hewwikke requested and was given the document while the others looked on, Taikko and Pui with raised eyebrows which demanded an explanation without words, Timga with a furrowed brow that demanded the same thing but more insistently, Silapobenk with a small smile that, also without words, said something about the tricks of publishers being laid bare by chance, and Dirant not at all. He was watching the employee, Puvva. Bafflement? Fear? Concern? There seemed to be quite the assortment going on over there, like a hopeful actor testing out his best expressions before the audition.


    ¡°Strange.¡± Hewwikke looked at the top sheet without much interest at first but began to frown as he went on. The writing betrayed his expectations; a common feeling among audiences. ¡°Excess strange, and by that I mean savage odd. I don''t grasp the point of this.¡± He looked back up in a contemplative way that he dropped when he saw the attitudes of certain guests. ¡°We''re very advanced, we publishers. We''ve been through a lot and developed practical techniques. One is the template. A bunch of sure information can be put down, the date of an event say, and the rest filled in later, like the weather. Another is the double. We could prepare two versions and chuck one depending on how the thing goes. That''s what I thought this would be, but it isn''t. We''d have to erase all these details. Improbable details. Taikko, do you plan to unveil a model of a star? Then ask it whether it can predict the future?¡±


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    ¡°Certainly not. Or, I didn''t before now.¡±


    ¡°I figured. This thing is unusable.¡± Hewwikke crumpled the papers up, but then uncrumpled them when the two debaters and the quartermaster asked to see them since the fake report sounded fun. Takki meanwhile had been translating all that for the Adabans, though the effort revealed she struggled more than Timga did with statements more complicated than a rote greeting. Still, despite leaving the audience to decode ¡°template¡± from ¡°set-formula-thing,¡± she did well enough, and she was able to catch up when Hewwikke absented himself to question his servants on the matter.


    ¡°They don''t know a thing. About this. They know a lot about other stuff. Don''t underestimate the man in the kitchen.¡± Hewwikke sat back down with an assertion delivered with too little evidence to satisfy anyone. Perhaps some might see it as rude to question their host. People who had not watched a fake news article be served to them on a platter, for instance. As it was, several voices competed in asking him how he could be that sure, that fast.


    Just as fast, he answered. ¡°Unerring character judgment. That''s something that comes to you in my business. Has to. The ones who don''t get it drop out.¡±


    Nobody believed that, not without even a single class ability for him to offer as justification. Still, pressing a man about the honesty of his own servants seemed liable to cross over into unforgivable rudeness, and so the civic quartermaster drew back from such dangerous ground to the comfortable safety of officialdom. ¡°You may wish to send one of those servants to request intervention from the captain-inspector before the hour advances too far. My opposite number on the martial side maintains the most important factor in solving a crime is involving him immediately, while the trail is followable.¡±


    While the southern guests questioned their volunteer translator closely on the point of whether Timga really talked like that in Usse, Hewwikke decided on his response. ¡°That''s just what they want. Attention. No, I don''t know who they are. They want me to know, and that''s why I refuse to find out.¡±


    An understandable stance, but not one every guest could accept. Before she even translated the host''s conclusion, Millim Takki Atsa leapt up to reopen the case. With one arm stretched over the table, her fingers spread wide and ready to grasp the truth, she declared, ¡°This isn''t some trivial incident we can overlook, as much as the culprit would like. This is a mystery.¡± She spoiled the effect of her own declaration by leaning back to redo it in Adaban, but it remained in the air and required a response.


    Or support. Ukkip Timga Onsalkamto again urged Hewwikke to alert the relevant official. When the possible victim of the suspected defamation attempt again refused, that was that as far as a governmental investigation. ¡°That''s your choice,¡± Timga said. ¡°I''ll cooperate with your intention of minimizing the publicity attached to this incident. Still, I have to think we should take some measure or other.¡±


    Takki stood up and stretched her arm over the table, but with her palm up as if she held all the answers, professorially. ¡°If it''s too much to demand that everyone subject himself to constant surveillance, we can at least warn one another that when the next incident happens, an unobserved person will necessarily be a suspect. Oh, and we should set up a watch on the Adabans. Imlakke, if I stick to Mr. Dirant, will you shadow Mr. Silapobenk?¡±


    ¡°Like a lessi mie,¡± he assured her.


    The lessi mie, Takki explained to the southerners who needed shadowing, was a subject of a great many folk tales. It lived in people''s shadows and either helped or hurt them according to the story. Her audience evinced a greater interest in the earlier portion of the translation than the later part, but the portion relevant to them ended up without elucidation when further conversation became impractical owing to the introduction of the delicious yam-based cake that finished off the dining affair. Dirant wiped his mouth with the utmost satisfaction as he remembered revoking the Preservation Ritual on those very yams that very morning. Silapobenk Rikelta, a more dogged Stadeskosken promoter, made a point of asking where their host had purchased yams in that season and part of the world.


    Hewwikke waved with his knife, and if he scattered crumbs around, he owned the table. ¡°I didn''t want to give away free advertising. Everyone, these were Adaban produce once. I''m a professional at turning southern into northern.¡±


    The end of the cake indicated the end of the meal. According to company-commissioned educational materials, attendees of a private dinner function in Pavvu Omme Os customarily clustered together before and during the dinner proper. Afterward, they were encouraged to divide themselves into smaller groups and spread about the house in unspoken flattery of the host''s vast and well-appointed property. Apparently the Ommes had read the pamphlet too, since they split up just as described.

 20. The First Suspects

    Neighbors Are Better Liked The Less Seen


    Millim Takki Atsa dragged Dirant, socially and not physically even though her Battler Muscle surely sufficed for such a maneuver, into a side room that displayed the furs of beasts Hewwikke Satvo Sau had probably not hunted. ¡°More likely these were gifts from patrons of hopeful authors,¡± Takki guessed.


    ¡°Is that how . . .¡± Dirant caught himself. The Todelk milieu included a large number of daughters receptive toward jabs against their fathers, it was true. Even so, he knew to refrain from Todelk habits when it came to matters such as speaking respectfully to his supervisor. Perhaps he had another circumstance of that sort before him. ¡°Is the publishing industry in Pavvu Omme Os run in that fashion? I must admit to knowing nothing of that world even within my own country.¡±


    ¡°Everything used to be run that way. There''s nothing wrong with holding onto a few traditions in the modern age, if they''re sensible. But don''t you think there''s something wrong in this house?¡± She peered at his face, which was an effort in itself given their relative heights.


    ¡°Is it your expectation I will agree with your fervent insistence on investigating the matter of the false report? I do.¡± Takki relaxed and smiled. ¡°Our host is either to be made a victim or is else the perpetrator, and in either case it is a guest''s obligation to act to preserve his reputation. That is to say nothing of the obligation we share to frustrate criminals when convenient, though if there is some otherworldly cause is behind this occurrence, convenience must be far out of reach.¡±


    ¡°I''m glad I wasn''t mistaken about the attitude you would take, Mr. Dirant. The only edit I want to make is that there''s no way the culprit is otherworldly.¡±


    ¡°What is the evidence pointing to that?¡±


    ¡°It''s the modern era.¡±


    ¡°Ah. And so?¡±


    ¡°The rest goes without saying.¡± Takki had already departed the conversation in spirit. She hopped, squatted, swayed, and stretched one leg nearly straight up while she pondered the mystery and her proper course. Perhaps Ommes stored their brains in their feet. ¡°Our options are limited. We will must tell the suspects to show their status so we can be sure none of them has some class possibly relevant to the scheme such as, well, you know the ones, don''t you?¡±


    From the way she almost tipped over during that last sentence, even a recent acquaintance could detect some anxiety, and an acquaintance who happened to be a Ritualist no doubt had a hunch what sort of class she had in mind. ¡°It may be that I am an authority on one of them. As to the others, what are they? Not Battler, I presume.¡±


    ¡°Oh, no. Battlers uncover the truths of the world. Everyone knows that.¡± She was back to her comfortable one-legged contemplation.


    Dirant attempted some exercises of his own in case they might help him anticipate the philosophical jumps his warden was making. ¡°Up until now, the consensus so far as I knew it categorized Battler as a class that excelled in physical confrontations.¡±


    ¡°That part usually comes after the truth is uncovered. There''s always someone who doesn''t like it.¡±


    Dirant concluded the calisthenics thing worked, since that claim sounded plausible enough to him. ¡°Then, are there undesirable classes aside from Ritualist, or?¡±


    ¡°I didn''t say undesirable, did I? If I did, it was unintentional. My Adaban is only Intermediate, but I''m working on it. Ritualist is an excellent, praiseworthy, elite class, as are Reciter, Symbol Knight, Distorter, and Subjugator.¡± Sincerity shone from Takki''s honest face, and Dirant liked being categorized as elite, so any ill-feeling was avoided.


    ¡°Ah. Subjugator, you say?¡±


    ¡°Yes. This scheme probably required at least two people to pull off, and nobody is better at running a conspiracy than a Subjugator. Unless you know of one? I might be missing a few. Right. The other first step, we have two feet after all, will must be to ask everyone what his motive is. The reason for that,¡± she hurried on before Dirant could doubt her intelligence, ¡°is to compare their answers against ours in order to ascertain what they think is worth hiding and what''s worth admitting. It''s a test of their, um, the way they think of themselves or rather how they believe others see them.¡±


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    ¡°Image?¡±


    ¡°That''s it!¡±


    ¡°I see. And what of physical evidence?¡±


    ¡°I saved the report before Hewwikke burned it. That''s about all we can hope to gather before we question the servants, don''t you think? We''re still on step zero, so let''s not get antsy.¡±


    ¡°I will try,¡± Dirant promised, and with that they started the investigation of the suspects.


    Takki opted to question the least-promising people first in the hopes of a startling revelation that would turn the entire case on its head, those being Oppo Imlakke Pau and Silapobenk Rikelta in her opinion. Dirant agreed with her choices and agreed even more with the idea of watching somebody order his eldest brother to flash his class, so much so that his walk had almost as much vim as hers despite his inferior physical stats.


    The first interrogation ended up including an unexpected bonus on account of a discussion about currency conversion the Stadeskosken representative was carrying on with Hewwikke Satvo Sau, a man interested in both sides of the border. An important yet not pressing subject which Millim Takki Atsa felt less compunction about breaking up than all the bones of adversaries she presumably had broken or would break during her Battler career, if she did not go into popular history.


    ¡°We''re curious about your status,¡± she said in both Adaban and Usse. ¡°Just the capital, if you don''t mind.¡±


    ¡°Many are.¡± Hewwikke flashed his with a smile.


    Colorist


    Priest of Dwai


    LV 24 894/1000


    The banker shrugged in clear apathy toward his own stats or what others thought about them. He already had money and professional respect quite apart from them, after all.


    Warm Body


    Priest of Nifk


    LV 21 70/1000


    Silone watched all that with the discomfort of a student sure he will soon be called upon to read a passage in some famous literary work, One Mile Past That for example, and thereby reveal his accent he never believed to be embarrassing before his father took a better job in a different state. He glanced at this brother, who tilted his head a moment to indicate he might as well. So he did.


    Pinpointer


    Priest of Vkit


    LV 23 210/1000


    ¡°I really appreciate your cooperation.¡± Takki curtsied to back up her statement with physical evidence as well as verbal. ¡°Next we''ll gather up some less concrete information. What would your motive for the crime be, if you had one? I''m not saying you do, of course.¡±


    ¡°You''d better not, even if you are Takki''s daughter,¡± Hewwikke warned.


    Imlakke cooperated so far as the Adabans could tell, but in a subdued tone accompanied by apologetic body language. Takki thanked him and reported the only motive he could conjecture was an impulse to act out during his vacation away from his professional responsibilities which included conducting himself with appropriate gravity at all times.


    ¡°That''s the best he can do, as much as he wants to help us. I believe what he says, even if I may not be the judge of character our host is.¡± Takki was able to say that without the hint of mockery Dirant or Silapobenk would have either added or been thought to add by dint of a large body of precedent.


    ¡°You''re making good progress though,¡± Hewwikke assured her. ¡°Not toward solving this prank, which isn''t worth solving anyway, but you might become a judge. Although.¡± He had been speaking from a sense of amused tolerance, but his latest thought inspired in him the sort of solemnity bankers usually displayed. ¡°A Tiger Knight. He crosses the country investigating crimes alongside his comic relief tiger sidekick. I''d better get someone to write that serial right away.¡±


    ¡°Oh!¡± Takki almost bounced in place as she said something or other in Usse. Hewwikke laughed, and from the way he looked at Dirant, the latter got the feeling he had just been likened to the proposed tiger. He kept the accusation silent until he could gather more evidence to support his position when he confronted the culprit.


    When Takki asked again for Hewwikke to supply a motive, he instead continued elaborating on his Tiger Knight detective idea. The same problem impeded her interrogation of Silapobenk as well.


    ¡°Dirant, answer Miss . . . answer Takki for me while I listen. This premise interests me. We may steal it.¡±


    ¡°It is a privilege for me to do so.¡± Dirant addressed the interrogator. ¡°His motive is simple in concept. By discrediting Kekket Ittame, he creates an opportunity. Whether the intent of is to compete with that company or to tender an offer for the firm as a whole in order to convert it into a local imprint of Stadeskosken''s own publishing wing so as to avoid anti-Adaban sentiment may not be determined at this time.¡±


    ¡°That makes a lot of sense,¡± Takki said.


    Silapobenk interjected without diverting his attention from Kekket Ittame''s owner, who by then was pretending to write a thrilling tale on an imaginary aerial page. ¡°You would be doing me a kindness to explain what doesn''t make sense about it, Dirant.¡±


    ¡°That is well understood. The advantage Stadeskosken brings to matters such as this is the magnitude of its resources. It would be a simple matter for Mr. Silapobenk to print up thousands of fake publications complete with Kekket Ittame trade dress and distribute them all over this town, or rather the entire country. By the time Hewwikke cleared up the doubts around the fakes, the controversy would already have damaged his reputation. Compared to that, what is the use of releasing a single copy in the intended victim''s own home where he is best able to suppress the scandal?¡±


    ¡°Very convincing. Mr. Dirant, are you sure you haven''t done this before? Pardon us, gentlemen. The investigation continues.¡±

 21. The Next Suspects

    But Who Has The Right To Question Them?


    Dirant answered after they left that set of suspects. ¡°I am sure. It is my usual policy to leave serious matters to serious experts while I handle the trivial ones.¡±


    ¡°Just what everybody wants in a sidekick, right? Oh, I forgot to tell you. I told Hewwikke a pretty good joke about how you''re my comic relief tiger, but I cannot quite get the wordplay to work in Adaban. Could you help me with that?¡±


    ¡°The task may be impossible, but I will consider it.¡± Before that, Dirant considered another topic. ¡°My brother is getting off rather easily, motive-wise.¡±


    ¡°Oh, there isn''t much chance either of you did it. I bet an Adaban will must be responsible in a fifth of the stories in Hewwikke''s upcoming Tiger Detective series though. It''s sort of a convention.¡±


    From that, a reorientation as to who was being protected from what by Takki''s insistence on having the two southerners watched struck Dirant. ¡°Thank you,¡± he said, and he meant it.


    ¡°You''re welcome.¡± As did she.


    They found Ukkip Timga Onsalkamto and Luas Taikko Hinmi admiring an oil painting which depicted an orchestra mid-performance while a reporter wrote up the event for the broadsheets. They were discussing another form of art as they did. ¡°There''s a theory that Obeneutian pottery became thicker, heavier, and more ornamental in response to some military reverses that proved to the Obenec their days of raiding with impunity were ended. The mood changed even if no one said it out loud, supposedly.¡±


    Since Timga offered that as an idea proposed by unidentified third parties, Taikko took no heed of their feelings. ¡°That explanation smells like the effluvium from the mind of a junior academic desperate to remove the modifier in a world where the seniors insist on living too long and publishing too often. But then, would I have said the same about any number of legitimate theories? I refuse to answer that out of respect for another theory positing a reputation itself can have feelings put forward by our more, I almost said something discouraging there, romantic thinkers.¡±


    All that was related to Dirant later, as was Taikko''s refusal to respond to the inquiry on the basis that the prank became unworthy of comment when the host so decided, and besides, her eloquence would suffer if she wasted it explaining something so obvious as her apparent motive. She did unknowingly reveal to Dirant that she was a Priestess of Iws by virtue of belonging to the Evoker class; the inexplicable universal legibility of status displays facilitated that. Timga, a genuine Workman and therefore a genuine Priest of Uv, concurred as to the host''s responsibility. He further excused himself based on the complications inherent in involving himself in any sort of criminal investigation when such was the responsibility of the town''s captain-inspector. As for the motive, his was less apparent, he hoped.


    ¡°My only conjecture is that someone, me for this hypothetical, bears a vendetta against Hewwikke so secret that I concealed it from myself for greater security,¡± he laughed. ¡°Aside from that, Millim Takki Atsa, is there any merit in investigating while deprived of the methods and experience of the captain-inspector''s subordinates? I don''t mean to belittle your efforts, but I can''t conceive your accomplishing anything.¡±


    ¡°That''s probably true, Civic Quartermaster. Still, if that stopped our ancestors, would they have ever defeated the Adabans? How could Illiu Po Tollem have invented the telescope if the argument that no one had done it before dissuaded him?¡±


    ¡°I suppose there''s no harm as long as you have a good understanding of the possibilities.¡±


    That ended the interrogation of those two suspects, but not Dirant''s of Takki when she hesitated to translate everything she said. ¡°It''s a little embarrassing,¡± she protested, though whether because of the Adaban part or the theatricality of her proclamation he could not determine.


    ¡°Even so,¡± he concluded, ¡°your character is clearer to me. Regrettably so. A desire to take on the burden of the impossible, to perform a feat never dared before, is a plausible motive which before you lacked.¡±


    ¡°That''s true, but would I insist on investigating if I were the culprit? Oh. I would, wouldn''t I?¡± It was a thoughtful Takki who continued the search for suspects. ¡°Do you believe that classes have an identity beyond their bare stat requirements? I do. A Battler''s inherent nature is to fix problems. That''s my belief.¡±


    ¡°I haven''t had reason to develop an opinion either way. There is, though, a hidden aspect to Ritualists that most never see. I mean of course that we perform rituals sometimes when we are not doing paperwork, opening crates, or witnessing suspect interviews.¡±


    Takki emitted a polite laugh that cut off when the justice of the observation became clear to her. ¡°You really don''t see many Ritualists, um, ritualizing, do you? Why is that? We''re told modern society rests on ground prepared by rituals among other things, but we never see the evidence.¡±


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    ¡°The evidence is there.¡± Dirant pointed at a shallow dish filled with dried herbs and flowers placed on a small chest in the hallway and another held in the hands of a kneeling statue. ¡°Perhaps our host simply wishes to remind us that nature exists outside his walls. More likely these scents are deployed to disguise the weird smell given off by Mold Prevention Rituals.¡±


    ¡°That''s what those are for? I always wondered why my father had spread a bunch around the house one day when I came back from a hunt. He was never interested in decoration before. You think he had a ritual done?¡±


    ¡°I do. Further, that ritual required about forty minutes of time to complete and will persist for more than a month. That ratio of procedure to duration is considered highly desirable in the academic world. I have come to suspect it is otherwise in commercial endeavors, since our employers must wonder at the salaries we command when they see us so often doing so little.¡±


    ¡°Isn''t that when you paint their noses for them?¡±


    Dirant stared at the top of the detective''s head for a moment, baffled, but then realized that must be a figure of speech. ¡°Is that a figure of speech?¡± he asked to test his theory.


    ¡°Of course. Oh, are Pui and Puvva there?¡± They were, and according to Takki, they were discussing the lamentable state of contemporary society in Pavvu Omme Os specifically.


    ¡°It was when I was preparing a run of books by an Adaban academic, Tanseliaf Hellons by name. I''m biased in his favor because his name is easier to pronounce than most southerners, but it was an interesting book about the history of Ritualists, of which he is one, and it sold so well in the GE. Here? Pavvu Omme Os, the most intellectually developed country in the world? Canceled for lack of interest. It''s not as if popular histories don''t move, so what''s the problem? I think it''s classes. Class segregation, class specialization. People nowadays think they mean more than they do. I was surprised when that banker turned out to be a Warm Body, or the other way around I guess, but why should I have been? Do Administrators have more integrity? Is it acceptable that I have no idea what Administrators actually do? When we had smaller communities, we knew more about one another.¡±


    ¡°There may be something in what you say,¡± Eksu Pui Hikku allowed. ¡°I studied the works of orators of great fame from earlier days when the spoken word ruled over the written. Some were Evokers, most not. Today nearly every name in the field is an Evoker, no one conceives how it might be otherwise, and what may we have lost?¡±


    ¡°Mr. Dirant, help me,¡± Takki requested. ¡°I''m having trouble getting their attention.¡±


    ¡°Tell them I met Professor Tanseliaf once. He gave me a signed copy of one of his books. Perhaps ''gave'' is the wrong word.¡±


    Equipped with that icebreaker, Takki was able to insert the two of them into the conversation. Unfortunately, Pui''s attitude toward amateur crime-solving resembled the other Evoker''s, as did his insistence that his motive would be tedious to express owing to the obviousness of it.


    ¡°There is a question,¡± Dirant said. ¡°I haven''t read the fake article, and neither am I capable of it unless the forger was kind enough to print an Adaban version on the reverse of the pages. Which side does it claim will have won?¡±


    ¡°Luas Taikko Hinmi''s,¡± Takki answered.


    ¡°Is that meaningful?¡±


    ¡°I cannot see how. Pui can claim the debate is rigged based on that, but Taikko can just as easily claim the report was made to put public, um, how they feel about things against her. We aren''t children in Pavvu Omme Os.¡±


    Her tone allowed room to believe they were children down in Greater Enloffenkir, unless it was only that Dirant''s imagination had become excessively stimulated by all that talk about criminal motives. While he pondered whether he ought to stand up for his tribe or if that would come off as childish, he noticed at last that Kul Puvva Kampumso''s purported motive had escaped along with the man itself. ¡°Mr. . . . Puvva has lost interest,¡± he noted.


    ¡°That''s so suspicious I have to give myself a little warning not to conclude anything. We haven''t even interviewed Limmu yet.¡± Takki excused herself to Pui and headed somewhere or other with purposeful steps.


    Dirant fell in beside her. ¡°I don''t know who that is.¡±


    ¡°Are Jalpi Peffu names difficult for you? I''ve heard that they are. Luo Limmu Aipke is a maid here.¡±


    Then began the questioning of servants, none of whom knew any Adaban grammar they cared to employ. They also did not care to say anything useful for revelation-seeking detectives, an outcome which punished Takki for having unreasonable expectations. In the first place, none of them belonged to an advanced class, let alone Reciter or something else suggestive of criminal capability. One out of every one of the servants belonged to low-requirement basic classes. Functionary, Workman, and Warm Body were the main examples, though Dirant realized then he probably ought to have stopped thinking of classes in terms of tiers when a god informed him all were equal members of a great, humanity-spanning priesthood. As for motives, well.


    ¡°Ordinarily you would expect the staff to harbor a lot of complaints about their employer, wouldn''t you? Apparently Hewwikke is out so often he lets them do more or less what they please. They can''t imagine a better boss.¡± Takki sounded unenthusiastic about the idyllic circumstances of the household staff as she stood thinking harder than ever, judging by her ferocious jabs against the yielding air.


    ¡°Did they offer any other theories? A rival neighbor perhaps, long frustrated by the clear superiority of Hewwikke''s dinner guests?¡±


    ¡°Nothing meaningful. One of the cooks suggested the report''s appearance is a classic sign from the gods. In wiser times the master would have called in an interpreter, but we''re so enlightened now that we have to pretend not to be able to figure it out. Isn''t that silly?¡±


    Not receiving the immediate support she expected, Takki repeated herself. Dirant''s expression remained flat. ¡°It seems perhaps not entirely implausible,¡± he said.


    ¡°It''s entirely implausible because gods aren''t real, and if they were, they wouldn''t write fake debate reports to inconvenience Hewwikke Satvo Sau!¡± Millim Takki Atsa paused to wipe her sudden tears away. ¡°I''m really sorry about that. We Battlers get caught up in what we''re doing, but I see Ritualists know how to remain impassive. I don''t mean to demean anyone.¡±


    Dirant was unsure who was being demeaned or in what situations the woman who burst into tears had to apologize rather than the nearest young man. The answers may have been far too obscure for his Discernment to discover, he was beginning to conclude, when an interruption came, a tumult in another room the two both heard. Takki dashed out at Battler speed while he ran at a Ritualist''s pace, a 34 Muscle sort of lope.

 22. A Break In The Case

    The Three Qualities Of The Successful Inspector Are Diligence, Diligence, And Diligence


    In a drawing room, probably the only one in all Mosso Eksu since only readers and publishers of Adaban serials had ever heard of such a thing, Imlakke the banker was waving a bundle of papers which Takki snatched with the Coordination Battlers did not require but usually possessed. Dirant refrained from asking out of politeness, reminded himself that reticence regarding the stats was an Adaban peculiarity according to university students who praised the superior culture of Chtrebliseu (they had never been to that country but were quite sure Greater Enloffenkir had much to learn from it), reflected that whatever the deficiencies of those students the company''s hired experts agreed, and resolved to bring up the subject. All that within a few seconds as well.


    ¡°Did that require great Coordination?¡±


    ¡°Hm? See for yourself.¡± Takki flashed her status while she looked over the commandeered evidence.


    Battler


    Priestess of Akam


    LV 9 10/1000


    HP 325


    Muscle 76 (+4)


    Coordination 52 (+4)


    Verve 50 (+8)


    Sticktoitiveness 71 (+7)


    Discernment 57 (+3)


    Gumption 50 (+6)


    Tit-for-Tat 50 (+2)


    Receptivity 21


    Panache 40 (+1)


    Class Abilities


    Battle Perception


    Battle Formula


    Battle Projection


    Certain Opening


    Pierce Through Feints


    Weapon Familiarization


    Monster Battle


    General Abilities


    Usse (Fluent)


    Adaban (Intermediate)


    Obaluon (Intermediate)


    Halberd (Peerless)


    Sling (Peerless)


    Spear (Advanced)


    Spear, Cavalry (Advanced)


    Sword, Straight (Advanced)


    Sword, Curved (Advanced)


    Bow, Composite (Advanced)


    Sword, Cavalry (Advanced)


    Dagger (Advanced)


    Mace (Advanced)


    Boxing (Advanced)


    Needle (Advanced)


    Three-Section-Staff (Advanced)


    Ax (Advanced)


    Throwing Dagger (Advanced)


    Bottle (Advanced)


    Pot (Basic)


    Table (Basic)


    Rug (Basic)


    Wheel, Steering (Basic)


    Wheel, Wagon (Basic)


    Wheel, Pottery (Basic)


    Bill (Basic)


    Glaive (Basic)


    Staff (Basic)


    Laundry Pole (Basic)


    Crossbow (Basic)


    Horse Riding (Intermediate)


    Adroit Display


    History Fundamentals


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    Dirant had only gotten up to Bow, Composite (Advanced) when the bowwoman announced her findings. ¡°This is a report on the first snowfall of the year. Mr. Dirant, how does this affect our suspects in your opinion? How much we need to suspect them I mean?¡±


    In a business setting the step from assistant to mister was a good sign, but in the investigative world he could imagine the former to be the more intimate form of address, not to be used in front of outsiders. He had read once of an official in some vanished Mabonn state whose title carried such honor that nobody aside from the chief held the privilege of calling him by it. ¡°It depends if said snowfall has happened already.¡±


    ¡°Of course it hasn''t. Oh, has it snowed in Greater Enloffenkir? I''m sorry if I sounded snippy.¡±


    ¡°Not at all. It''s only that I wanted to be sure of the sequence of events.¡±


    ¡°That is important.¡±


    The other guests and the host himself came in during those clarifications. The news shook most of them, since there could no longer be any question of passing over the matter as nothing significant. Kul Puvva Kampumso became rattled to such an extent that he absented himself without a word to anyone, which seemed to be a common practice of his. The two investigators meanwhile went on as they had been, making no progress but maintaining an even emotional state. Takki retained such composure that she seemed as dignified as any statue of marble or bronze when she held out the report for Hewwikke to grab away as a poorly trained dog does a treat.


    ¡°The first snowfall? That''s for the almanac. We already have a template for it. I hope nobody''s wasting time on redundant work. Where did you get this?¡± He recalled then that he was at home with guests, not at an office surrounded by people whose material happiness depended on his. ¡°I''d be grateful if you told me.¡±


    Oppo Imlakke Pau, as Takki related for the convenience of the Adaban guests, stated he had seen the papers tied up in a bundle. They were on a table, perched across a few books of uneven heights and threatening to fall to the floor. He had picked up the bundle for that reason, glanced at the contents, and was so startled that he grew agitated while he told Luas Taikko Hinmi about it. What bothered him the most was that he was sure that no such papers had been on the table when he came in. He had noticed because the books seemed odd to him.


    ¡°They''re odd because they''re fake,¡± Hewwikke explained. ¡°Proposals for new formats. Nothing in them. Look.¡± He tossed one to Imlakke, who confirmed for himself that past the titleless cover sat a few empty pages as an example. ¡°I hoped this debate scam was the same, but I have to admit there''s something in it after all. All right, I''m convinced, and when I''m convinced, I move. We''re searching this house in pairs, and we aren''t stopping till we find the culprit.¡± He again remembered the social environment. ¡°Please.¡±


    ¡°I admire your quick, decisive action and will do my utter best to reward it.¡± Takki''s eyes glowed like those of the sun itself or some terrible monster. ¡°Are we all agreed as to the parameters of the search? We must search every room, every piece of furniture, every closet . . .¡±


    Hewwikke blinked. ¡°Wait a moment.¡±


    ¡°. . . the drawers, the pockets of every garment, don''t forget to feel along the seams . . .¡±


    ¡°Carefully.¡±


    ¡°. . . journals, financial statements . . .¡±


    ¡°I meant more of a quick sweep to find an intruder. That''s what I want.¡± Hewwikke trembled a bit, unsure how sincere or persuasive his guest was.


    ¡°That''s no job for me, not in my current position, not at all. I''ll let old Stippu know about it. This is more his line. Boundaries and chains of command. Thank you for the invitation, Hewwikke, and expect me to return the honor.¡± Civic Quartermaster Ukkip Timga Onsalkamto kept up the chatter in a most heroic fashion as he fled both the scene and his remonstrating host, who feared a worsening of the situation if the one authority figure left. He made it only so far as the entrance, however.


    ¡°Your door''s sticking, Hewwikke. Better fix that.¡± Timga turned his head to address the Rikeltas while he tugged the door handle with increasing ferocity. ¡°I don''t know if you have this sort of regulation. Owners of permanent housing are required, not by me you understand, but by the law, to keep all portals greased up so they open and shut just like that in case the army needs to retreat into them. There must be obstructions nearby too.¡± He nodded at a pair of dead yet still threatening bears with claws raised, one on either side of the entrance. ¡°Those are good. Hewwikke, I''ll take this chance to thank you for your adherence to civic responsibility too and not just the dinner. What a citizen! You''re a model for all of us. Why won''t this open?¡±


    By this time his attempts to open the door had descended into downright barbarism, but to no result. He desisted when Hewwikke produced the keys, standing aside and wiping his forehead. Circumstances soon gave him reason to wipe a few more times.


    ¡°It''s a good thing I only invite sober, reasonable people to my private hut. You won''t panic when I tell you the key melted in the lock.¡± Hewwikke held up the barrel of the key, which was all that was left of it.


    Takki examined the remains. ¡°That''s good news. We don''t have to post a watch in case anyone tries to leave.¡±


    ¡°Any good in that must be erased by the sure fact that the culprit surely left already. Ah, and I''m wrong again.¡± Dirant reached up and took hold of whatever had fallen on his head, which turned out to be a paper covered in the scribbles of some unintelligible language. As expected. He offered it to Millim Takki Atsa with a slight bow.


    ¡°Thank you, Mr. Dirant. Oh, what exciting news. ''Mosso Eksu changes name to Eksu Mosso. The citizens decided they''ve had enough; no more; enough; no more. When reached for comment, officials were not available for comment. ¡°It''s been a long time coming,¡± they commented.'' It doesn''t get any better as it goes on.¡± She handed it back.


    At that point the sweep began, not in pairs as proposed but as a single group. The house was not quite so big as to require more elaborate procedures, as much as Hewwikke wanted it to be perceived as such. Neither was the situation so perilous yet as to require weaponry, but Takki fetched her halberd regardless, perhaps as a meditation aid.


    Hewwikke urged the party to check the kitchen first and gather up the servants inside the main building at the time, six in all. That was done. They joined in too, since the host, guests, and servants all wanted to find the guy who was causing pages to appear out of the air faster and faster so that soon nobody could see the expensive carpets Hewwikke had gone to such trouble to acquire. Chtrebliseu to Pavvu Omme Os was a journey of nearly the entire continent, after all.


    ¡°Is anyone beginning to doubt the explicability of all phenomena without resort to the supernatural?¡± Dirant asked.


    ¡°That depends on what phenomena means,¡± Takki answered.


    ¡°Things that happen.¡±


    ¡°Oh. Then surely not, right? This is just magic.¡±


    ¡°Perhaps. Ah, and there is some further magic.¡± Dirant was looking through the lamentably mabonnpaperless window in one of the last upstairs rooms to be turned over while the others checked for culprits and secret passages in the wardrobe, the gap between the bed and the floor, and behind a shelf of souvenirs. It gave him a view over the estate, though a poor one, obscured by the branches and needles of an evergreen as it was. He could not be sure what the nature of the outbuilding he saw across the lawn might be because of that, but the unnatural luminescence emanating from it interested him. The others agreed when he alerted them to the eerie green thing.


    ¡°Good info to have when I tell old Stippu about this mess. He hates to have things sprung on him. Unless they''re parties!¡± Timga''s joviality sounded thin, but the fact he was back to speaking instead of merely gulping and sweating proved how far his spirits recovered upon the emergence of something resembling a clue. That glowing building might just hold the solution to stopping papers from falling like snow would in a couple months according to the almanac Kekket Ittame put out. ¡°I''ll be going now to do just that. Say, Hewwikke, is that tree climbable?¡±


    ¡°No. The branches are too weak. One of the servants discovered that at about the same time he discovered what doctors charge these days.¡±


    That response caused such satisfaction in Dirant as a condottiero might feel upon infiltrating and conquering a city with only one man beside him. In his imagination he spent his next vacation in Todelk and made sure they were somewhere within hearing of an appreciative audience, that one lounge perhaps, before he told Professor Patarenk of the incident. ¡°It was an irretrievable situation save that a Ritualist was there who had in his Ritual Memory one particular tool that solved the problem forthwith. A ritual you devised, as it happens, professor.¡± Then the praise for the veteran Ritualist, and how glad he would be to have it.


    ¡°Everybody''s gone to break down the door, assistant. You''ve got a good instinct thinking the investigators should come in last, but we really do have to go.¡±


    ¡°Ah. I must leave the timing to you.¡± Dirant followed Takki out, and she never knew the sadness in his slow steps. They became even slower as the papers accumulated to form stacks higher than his ankles.

 23. Squatters

    A Building Which Fails To Fulfill Its Purpose Is A Bad Building; I Think Better Of Temples Said To House The Gods Than Of Half Our Houses Today Even Though Gods Do Not Exist


    The pair arrived at the entrance and conferred with the others, and together they formulated a plan of action. The primary agent in the operation to break down the door, a course adopted with the enthusiastic approval of Hewwikke Satvo Sau himself, was to be the 76 Muscle belonging to Battler Millim Takki Atsa. The others kind of rubbed their shoulders against the door in a show of gentlemanly cooperation, but they backed off to allow her halberd the field. The sparks that came off the wood raised some concerns when the onlookers remembered what happened to the key until she busted through and set about widening the initial gash.


    What must that Omme passing by on the other side of the street have thought as he returned home in the sunless evening brightened by lights streaming from rows of windows, the signs of cheerful meals inside much like the one he hoped soon to enjoy? First he suspected burglary, but the loose pages that blew outside from the house reminded him that Hewwikke Satvo lived there. He was a publisher. That kind of thing seemed normal for publishers, all the noise and papers. And was that not the civic quartermaster? He would never allow any misconduct. Mosso Eksu was becoming one of those cities that bustles with industry even late into the night, the passerby concluded as he went on his way.


    ¡°This could be news almost as big as the debate. Besides, I don''t want to lose my princely estate to fake articles. Or real ones. I shouldn''t have bothered specifying. What I''m saying is, will you help me save Ink House?¡± Hewwikke made that appeal to his countrymen first. While he reworked it into Adaban for the benefit of a foreign audience, the cooks, the regular servants, the two debaters, and the civic quartermaster took off as if they had just heard salt was on sale in the market. Millim Takki Atsa, Oppo Imlakke Pau, and the two Kitslofers adopted a different attitude.


    ¡°Good guests support their hosts. Good citizens don''t wait for the state to solve their problems. Whether my brother and I can be said to be good, we stand by you tonight, Hewwikke.¡± Silapobenk Rikelta might have been mistaken then for one of those statesmen of yore who get statues of them put up in front of a courthouse. Perhaps it would not have been a mistake.


    Hewwikke pumped Silone''s hand and wept a bit. The others avoided looking at that. For all their differences, Adabans and Jalpi Peffu shared certain ideas about public displays of emotion. Some occasions called for them of course, and there the differences returned. Adabans cried when they failed to cross a river, whereas Ommes cried when they succeeded.


    His gratitude sufficiently demonstrated, Hewwikke led the way to the enchanted building, explaining about it as they went. ¡°It''s a small place, sort of a gussied-up barracks I set up to accommodate guests I''m willing to have stay here overnight but don''t want near the other guests for too long. Smut writers, Adabans, pedantic historians, that type.¡±


    ¡°Oh, so if my father had come and the Rikkeltas wanted cheaper beds, they could have enjoyed a little sleepover together?¡±


    ¡°Not a chance. Old man Takki is a real charmer. I gotta put him in the main hall when he comes around. Kids never know their own parents, do they? There it is.¡± He pointed toward the guest house, a building longer than it was tall but unimpressive in either dimension. Its more arresting aspect had to be the green, purple, and yellow specks of light floating away from it like drunk fireflies leaving the best party of the year.


    The Battler''s halberd took the lead. Silapobenk had moved a number of daggers to his belt, no longer suspecting trouble but sure of it instead. The Warm Body banker cracked his knuckles and stretched his meaty arms, the Colorist publisher was a Colorist, and the Ritualist made sure he remembered the final word necessary to activate his delayed ritual. It was loojweirloo. Since Fascination belonged to the Sissalsian type, the invocation consisted of distinct, word-like sounds that meant nothing. Dirant preferred Adaban rituals to Sissalsian, but Sissalsian to the Aemuiaxan ones that forced him to utter invocations along the lines of ¡°OoooOOOooooOOOOooo.¡± Just reading the directions of those annoyed him.


    He preferred thinking about that compared to why he was marching toward some kind of magical doom palace or what would happen when he reached it. What did happen was that the door was just as locked as that of the main house but less susceptible to northern unlocking methods. The blade of Takki''s halberd slid through as if the wood were cream. Even worse, the cream started dripping.


    ¡°I might have the keys here,¡± Hewwikke said.


    ¡°It doesn''t have a keyhole,¡± Imlakke said right back. ¡°It''s been dripped over.¡±


    Takki had long ago resolved, as a Battler, to make her weapons and her body one. The former looked as if it had passed through, and so would the latter. ¡°Ouch,¡± she stated when the door disagreed with her theory.


    ¡°Puzzling.¡± Silapobenk tried to dig away congealed door bits from the keyhole he had seen moments earlier to no success. His dagger passed through as the halberd had, cleaving a line that was soon filled again by molten wood. ¡°That''s my one idea. Henceforth I defer to our expert in unlawful entry. Dirant Rikelta, what can you say about it?¡±


    A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.


    He could have said a lot of things, but not in public or to his boss who was also more physically adept than he. Even so, he considered the request unreasonable enough that he could be forgiven some resentment. ¡°Your trust in me is the greatest reward for my triumph. I mean of course when I developed the reverse bribery method. It may be to our benefit to apply reverse thinking again. The first point is that you think we should go inside, and if we turn that around, surely we should not want to do that.¡±


    Silone nodded. ¡°Yes, but we committed ourselves already. Move along.¡±


    ¡°The second is that if the door is no longer a door, perhaps the walls are no longer walls and the roof something else altogether. At the point we may be inside already. Did you think of that?¡±


    ¡°I never did. And so we are.¡±


    They were, too. The little party looked around at a distinctly indoors environment suitable for use as a prison for the unforgivable. Pale lights from some remote source reached them through walls made of a thick glass over which webs of black iron sprawled. The demon architect behind the design must have despised right angles, for the ceiling sagged, the floor made a mound, and the sides curved inward and outward as if a strange sea that lapped alien shores had frozen and been carved into sections to be used as building material.


    ¡°Ah. I had doubts before. No longer. I give up on reason entirely. It is a bedtime story we tell credulous children like me,¡± Dirant declared.


    ¡°How can you say that?¡± Takki asked over her shoulder. ¡°You displayed excellent logic just now to get us in. We simply need to overcome this mystery and get to work figuring out when walls are real and when they aren''t so we can generalize the solution. Let''s go.¡±


    The party advanced up the corridor, or the tunnel if they wished to surrender any idea of being in the actual outbuilding. They did come across several guests staying there, and if those were winged snakes winding through the air and searching for food with their single eyes that were glistening gems, publishers came into contact with strange people in the course of their business.


    ¡°The eye,¡± Takki called out. The word of a Battler went far when it came to enemy weaknesses. Everyone knew that was their main thing, except apparently for Millim Takki Atsa, hence the 42 Discernment required to qualify for the class in addition to 58 Muscle. The class''s Certain Opening ability pit that Discernment against the target''s Coordination in an attempt to find, to put it forthrightly, certain openings. On top of that, even hermits in the hills knew a Battler''s Discernment could never be impaired in battle owing to Battle Perception, even against foes so discombobulating as weird flying eyeball snakes.


    The first dagger Silapobenk hurled with Pinpointer precision smashed through an expensive-looking eye to drop one with no further fuss. He and Takki between them prevented any of the rather weak monsters from reaching the powerless, pitiable, and pathetic back lines. The difficulty of punching flying monsters troubled Imlakke, but the considerate occupants of the demon world which had replaced Hewwikke''s backyard prepared a foe just for him: a scarecrow with brass knuckles and a mouth guard.


    While the banker sparred with the guardian of farmers'' fields, a classic contest of country boy versus city slicker, continuing developments called upon Takki to cut apart things thinner than any man, diet notwithstanding, that sported three heads at three heights attached to necks tilting out of alternating sides of their bodies. She did so with all possible dispatch, but the party''s progress stalled for a time. If only Silapobenk had pursued combat-based optional class abilities instead of ones more relevant to contracts and quality assurance. Worse, new enemies appeared.


    Man-like things much bulkier than the tri-heads, they wore over their faces white masks dotted with holes and wielded in one hand long staves that curved at the end and in the other, books. Rather than rushing into combat, the four that appeared stood back. Their books flew open and began to glow in just the same way as did those belonging to Reciters before they did something cool. As much as Dirant wanted to see something cool, he wanted to live. He uttered the non-word loojweirloo.


    A pretty light rose up above him. Nothing special, just a pleasing little source of illumination that no one could resist watching unless that person or monster passed a test based on Gumption plus Discernment minus Receptivity versus the Ritualist''s own Receptivity. Those masked chumps had no chance against Dirant''s 87, a number so high they might have gazed at that, equally stupefied, had he put his status up for them to read. He decided not to warn the fighters up front against looking back out of fear they would do so immediately. Silone had long ago learned to delegate and therefore would likely listen, but he judged the inquisitive Battler and thorough banker to be at risk.


    ¡°Do these ones do anything?¡± Takki battled her way through the skinny monsters to the mask guys and cut them down without opposition. ¡°Oh? Were they looking at something?¡± She followed the gaze of the dead before Dirant could warn her. ¡°What a pretty little light. Is that a . . . no, I guess not. It''s just a light.¡± At 86 total versus Dirant''s 87, she beat the unfavorable odds and turned away without being fascinated.


    ¡°It is very pretty. Thank you for saying so. Don''t look at it again.¡±


    Silone stiffened. ¡°Are you performing helpful rituals back there?¡±


    ¡°And they are the kind veteran condottieri approve as well.¡±


    ¡°Encouraging. Let us continue.¡± That took care of two of the combat personnel. As for Imlakke, he had noticed nothing, lacking the senses of a Battler, and heard nothing, being ignorant of Adaban. Moreover, he was breathing on his knuckles to cool them down after those blazing exchanges of fists between him and the scarecrow, and as for the result, there was no longer any scarecrow around. In the back, Hewwikke could stare at the light all he wanted. He did not though, on account of his considerable Gumption.


    Under the desperate circumstances, the party ignored the stat and ability notifications it was racking up with all that monster-fighting and advanced still deeper, or else shallower. Nothing hinted to the delvers in what direction they were moving. Waves of snakes vexed them frequently. The more threatening or at least bigger monsters confronted them at this or that turn in the tunnel, but overall seemed to be rarer breeds. Dirant made a note to research all these varieties later with an eye toward learning if he was missing a lucrative financial opportunity by not capturing some of them to exhibit in a zoo.

 24. The Enemy Headquarters

    Even Successful Captains Disagree Whether The Command Structure Or Propaganda Center Is More Of A Setback To Lose


    The tunnel curved as it went, widening and narrowing along the way for no reason discernible by the people inside. Just as the tunnel at last seemed to be broadening, insofar as the right side appeared to be giving way to some larger chamber, the metal badgers that made beeping noises nonstop attacked. Or rather they passed by. A passel of them hurried out from the possible room ahead toward some other destination and ignored the dagger that plinked off their lustrous hides as they went. Silone tried to be discreet about picking up his dagger, but everyone saw the whole thing.


    With that, the way was clear to the area ahead which was indeed a room. It even enjoyed its own light source that was not even green, though the inability of anyone to figure what in the ceiling actually generated the orange glow aroused some discomfort. It had furniture too, and the arrangement of elements inside struck Dirant and especially Silapobenk as disconcertingly familiar despite still being inside an unthinkable eldritch horrorscape. Gremlins with little horns sat at rows and columns of writing desks, writing, and as soon as each filled a page, it tossed the paper up in the air from which it disappeared.


    ¡°This is the reason I prefer the warehouse,¡± Dirant said. ¡°Scenes of this sort seem somehow a desecration.¡± Silone nodded.


    ¡°These monsters have no sense. They need editors. Hey! Kul! What are you doing over there?¡± Hewwikke called out to Kul Puvva Kampumso in the center of the chamber, though what that employee was doing ought to have been clear enough. He was worrying. The shakes and sweat proved that. The more intriguing questions had to do with the person next to him. Why was he trying to pull her somewhere? That was one. Why was it hard for him to do so? Why did she not react to his yanking? Two more. Why was she chanting nonstop and looking unhappy about the whole thing? What kind of outfit was she wearing? Some kind of robe embroidered with symbols such as tridents, bidents, and bells, and a bonnet rather than the distinctive Omme head scarf. Was she single? It would have been fine for Hewwikke or Dirant to ask that last one. Silapobenk was in no position to do so.


    Puvva greeted them with a question of his own as if the newcomers had more to explain than he did. ¡°Chief! You made it! Is it . . . is it really bad out there?¡±


    ¡°My rooms all have more paper in them than most forests, monsters have taken up residence in my guest shed and never even offered me the pleasure of their company at dinner, and those talk-boxes have blabbed all over town by now about what a strange house I keep. It''s bad. If you had anything to do with this, I''m going to pretend not to be mad so you''ll tell me before I fire you.¡±


    ¡°I was just doing my job! Taking initiative! I was researching innovative new methods to even out manpower shortages when there''s big events like debates or a scandal. I hired a Summoner¡ª¡±


    ¡°Okkallu stikkallu suo tio I am that Summoner mumkitta saotlotta,¡± the immobile woman managed to get out.


    ¡°This Summoner, that''s right. The idea was to find a monster that could hold a pen. She did it, chief! These gremlins can''t edit or paint a picture in words, but they can write basic stuff. So I arranged to hide her in the outbuilding. I was going to surprise you with some practical examples. But then I don''t know what happened!¡±


    Hewwikke glared. ¡°Maybe I''ll fire you and hire her. That sounds savage smart. Any ideas?¡±


    Millim Takki Atsa had an idea, and she liked it quite a bit. She hopped from one foot to the other as she announced it in a joyful voice. ¡°There really is a distortion zone in Mosso Eksu! So many of them turn out to be fakes. Oh, you''re so lucky to have one right on your estate!¡±


    A distortion zone! A location where inexplicable, unrepeatable phenomena occurred. Specialists in the history of natural philosophy blamed them for much of humanity''s slowness in exploring universal principles, since rules kept breaking there before they could even be formulated. That explained everything. Some skeptics muttered that distortion zones proved a bit too much when one considered how easy it was to account for odd results in any study or experiment by saying ¡°distortion zone¡± and shrugging. Student Dirant dismissed those accusations as mere cynicism, but Dirant Priest of Holzd was coming around to the thought.


    Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.


    Another thought occurred to him. ¡°Forgive me if I have this wrong. Takki, did you just imply you hoped to find a distortion zone here? And you never connected the curious incident in the main building to that, even as a hopeful surmise on the level of thinking that one girl who works at the corner restaurant likes you?¡±


    ¡°Oh. I, um, no.¡± She blushed. ¡°I have a long way to go as a Battler. I''m very sorry.¡±


    Of course a gentleman could do nothing in that situation but relent. ¡°Really it was our own research that was lacking, since we knew nothing about . . .¡±


    ¡°Hoppalli I''m getting very thirsty mumle posstemmu and I''m scared meippi please help me.¡±


    ¡°I''m very, very sorry!¡± Takki ran over to the Summoner and wrenched her away from the ground with a popping sound. The illumination faded, the gremlins began to vanish, and the glass of the walls started to drip as if something had gone wrong during the glass creation process. Even as the Summoner''s chants died away in favor of regular speech (¡°Summoner Paummi Ti Poska, present and happy to meet you wonderful people¡±), a gurgling sort of chant arose to replace it. The rescuers chose not to think about how it seemed to be coming from outside the walls and that the light pulsed in rhythm with it.


    Paummi Ti Poska''s body relaxed once removed from its former position. She all but collapsed in the arms of Takki, who held a reservation about that arrangement. ¡°I''m afraid I may need my halberd. Could you gentlemen . . .?¡±


    Dirant and Hewwikke were happy to take Ti off her hands, all the more so since the Summoner was barely five feet and slight in her build. That done, the party hustled back down the tunnel at a maximum speed that soon slowed.


    ¡°What''s the delay?¡± Hewwikke demanded to know from the back. Aside from his habit of getting reporters to find out things for him, he had his attention and hands far too full of Summoner to investigate problems himself.


    ¡°It branched.¡± Imlakke moved aside so his host could see the perplexing truth. The simple single tunnel that brought them there had bettered itself by becoming three separate paths.


    ¡°Does anyone know a way I can consider this guest house an enemy? My abilities would work on it then,¡± Battler Takki suggested.


    ¡°It isn''t already?¡± Silapobenk Rikelta asked. ¡°For the time being I propose to keep to the center based on my Selection Sense.¡± A true leader, he did not inform the anxious people around him of the details of that ability. It sounded relevant, and that was all they needed to know. The curious among them would be free after they escaped to look up an index of class abilities and learn it gave a general sense of areas that might be worth examining. Helpful, but not so authoritative as he presented it as being.


    The party proceeded, its members not sure they needed to hurry but certain they wanted to. Future route splits presented two options, five options, two options but actually three options when Takki noticed another way set at a right angle from the direction they came, and vertical routes complete with ladders. Paummi Ti Poska had some issues with those, but cooperation saw them through.


    The monsters they encountered did nothing to obstruct them on their way out. Perhaps monsters cared about nothing but privacy the entire time and man was the real monster. Dirant brought up the idea, but Takki scotched it based on the predatory habits of fire wolves if nothing else. Hewwikke, however, was interested.


    ¡°Here''s the article. We disguise someone as a monster, somebody ugly, and have him get closer and closer to a monster nest. Try to infiltrate it and give us some real insight on these things. It could be a whole book if it does well. You might want to give it a try, Kul. You''ll be looking for a new job soon anyway.¡±


    ¡°I''ll find one, too. A lot of publishers will be interested in this gremlin scheme. Smart ones, ones who didn''t plant their houses on weirdo land plots where weird stuff happens that isn''t my fault.¡± Kul Puvva Kampumso had gone through a heroic journey that changed him as a person. Unless that was normal behavior for him, and all that nervousness he had displayed at dinner derived from anxiety over the upcoming gremlin demonstration. That seemed more likely.


    ¡°How long will this continue? We''ve been exiting longer than we were entering.¡± Imlakke''s mild complaint struck all of them as insightful when they heard it or had it translated for them.


    ¡°We might need more of that unconventional reasoning. I''d like to try it out. Is that all right?¡± Upon hearing no opposition, Takki made her attempt. ¡°We''ve walked far enough to be outside. That means we are probably outside.¡± Nothing happened. ¡°What do you think I did wrong?¡± she asked Dirant, her stare imploring him to fix it.


    It was too late to pretend he had not become an authority on the topic of inventing arguments to support the idea of being either inside or outside a disconcerting pit of fiends. Making the best of it, he embraced the position. ¡°The most successful charlatans never waver in their confidence. I don''t know if that''s true, and that''s exactly what I mean. Try something more brazen like this. ''A strange space full of aggressive monsters existed while a Summoner chanted. We entered that rather than the guest house. The Summoner is no longer chanting and the monsters are not aggressive. Those two facts are proof the strange space no longer exists. However, we are still inside it, which indicates a flaw. A flaw of that size must be easy to find.¡±


    ¡°There it is.¡± Silapobenk pointed at a gash in the glass through which poured not green light but the regular darkness of night ever feared by humanity, though less so in the middle of town. Hewwikke, his guests, his employee, and his employee''s employee at last departed the outbuilding and entered the comforting, well-tended grounds of his estate.

 25. Pre-Debate Arrangements

    Any Occasion Will Become A Social Occasion Unless Measures Are Taken


    ¡°Who''s there? Are you monsters? You have to tell me if you''re monsters. To conceal that may aggravate the charges against you.¡± A stern soldier of Pavvu Omme Os, sufficiently elevated in rank to have someone else carry a lantern for him, stood on the grounds with a force of twenty or so drawn up behind him, ready to enter an enigmatic structure which had been glowing up until then. How did those courageous guardians of their countrymen''s security feel about being denied an opportunity to exert themselves against a supernatural threat? Probably pretty good, since the big debate was coming up and they would have hated to miss it. At other times they might have been disappointed.


    Hewwikke explained the entire incident to the officer, Captain-Inspector Mommi Stippu Takpeddi, whose assistance Civic Quartermaster Ukkip Timga Onsalkamto had requested once he got his breath back. Stippu ordered a subordinate to take down Hewwikke''s statement and then those of all the other witnesses. ¡°Not that I disbelieve Hewwikke Satvo Sau. He''s a respected member of this community. He does tell his stories though. Consort with fabulists and some of that seeps into you, like a dye tub or something. I''ve seen it many times.¡±


    The accounts of the others backed up everything Hewwikke said, even though he tried pressuring them to leave parts out so there would be exclusive testimony in the upcoming article. He was thinking of busting Kul Puvva Kampumso down to monster correspondent to write it.


    As for the witnesses themselves, they parted with a great many congratulations and mutual wishes for health and good fortune. Millim Takki Atsa summarized the experience in a statement with which all could concur. ¡°I''m glad that ended without any of us coming to lasting harm, though I am sorry Hewwikke''s guest house is being seized by the captain-inspector pending an application to the government. We should also be relieved that there turned out to be a sensible explanation behind the incident. We won''t be deluded by appealing but misleading explanations of perfectly natural phenomena, thank you for that word, in the future now that we''ve been through such a tricky case ourselves.¡±


    ¡°You''re welcome for the word.¡± While perhaps he should have left it there, Dirant knew, the recent experience created such a sense of familiarity and camaraderie with his fellow adventurers that concealing his opinion seemed a despicable act. ¡°I question the idea that the explanation for this incident is sensible or, indeed, an explanation. Nothing we discovered made the occurrences tonight anything less than mysterious.¡±


    Takki planted a thoughtful halberd and leaned on it. ¡°I''m not sure what makes you say so. A Summoner began summoning in a distortion zone and all this happened. It''s really quite normal.¡±


    Dirant looked to Paummi Ti Poska. ¡°Is it?¡± The Summoner, the beneficiary of an education in Greater Enloffenkir as it turned out, shook her head.


    ¡°That will be cleared up when we run experiments in the distortion zone,¡± Takki asserted.


    ¡°I hope I will be able to return to your beautiful country then to see the results.¡± With that, Dirant surrendered and opened up another front by asking if Hewwikke employed any Pickers with Edition Freeze.


    ¡°I''d better not have anyone like that. The writing world moves fast. I don''t know what that ability does, but it sounds contrary to Kekket Ittame philosophy. I''ll check later, but don''t expect anything.¡±


    While he waited for the results that indeed ended up being nothing, Dirant could do nothing but retire. He did reflect, as he settled in, on what an unusual, XP-rich incident that must have been. ¡°Getting nearly a full level out of that wouldn''t be strange,¡± he thought as he checked his status.


    <blockquote>


    Ritualist


    Priest of Holzd


    LV 7 240/1000


    HP 247


    Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    Muscle 35 (+1)


    Coordination 43 (+4)


    Verve 42 (+3)


    Sticktoitiveness 55 (+4)


    Discernment 68 (+4)


    Gumption 25 (+2)


    Tit-for-Tat 42 (+1)


    Receptivity 87 (+6)


    Panache 45 (+3)


    Class Abilities


    Ritual Judgment


    Ritual Completion


    Ritual Memory


    Ritual Delay


    Divine Guidance (Hunch)


    Ritual Humility


    General Abilities


    Adaban (Fluent)


    Heweks (Fluent)


    Tabilidgeir (Intermediate)


    Dvanj (Intermediate)


    Yumin (Intermediate)


    Desurvyai (Basic)


    Saueo (Basic)


    Mercantile Fundamentals


    Horse Riding (Intermediate)


    Class Perception (Divine)


    </blockquote>


    ¡°Ah, some stat improvements, and I don''t understand XP even the slightest bit. How reassuring.¡± Thus reminded that some things in his life stayed the same no matter how many gods and monsters he encountered, Dirant had no trouble falling asleep.


    The next day came, and it brought a debate to delight the Ommes and another market period to please Haderslant Rikelta once he learned of it through favorable financial reports. His employees would have been just as pleased not to have one so they could relax and read the sizzling broadsheet articles about what their direct superior had gotten up to the previous evening. As it was, they gathered what information they could while they worked.


    ¡°Mr. Dirant, is it true that Mr. Silapobenk is faster with a dagger than he is to detect laxity?¡±


    ¡°It is so. Remember the former if you ache to test the latter.¡±


    ¡°And did he in truth slay so many winged snakes that they now warn their young not to misbehave lest the dreadful Silapobenk come in the night to punish them?¡±


    ¡°That is a grave falsehood. None escaped to tell the others of their fate.¡±


    With such chatter they entertained themselves during their labors. The Ommes intended to entertain themselves in quite another way, judging by their extensive purchases of grape-related products as well as the less common plum-based and strawberry-based varieties the southerners also stocked. The debate was to be held that evening, and several well-to-do out-of-towners wanted to exhibit their generosity by buying up loads of celebratory material for later distribution, enough in some cases that silver bars changed hands.


    Likely that would be the biggest market day for Stadeskosken in Pavvu Omme Os, a poorer country than Yean Defiafi by all accounts albeit sufficiently prosperous to put Silapobenk in a congenial mood. He complimented his employees as he ordered them to close up shop and forbade any overtime to prevent go-getters and nose-painters from feeling compelled to volunteer for it. All were free to attend the debate or, more likely, not attend it, whether for language-related reasons or because it was a public debate about stargazing. Some of the Usse-capable employees offered to translate for their fellows, though how the locals would react to some jerks in the corner babbling away in Adaban throughout the event concerned them. Were these debates solemn affairs or rowdy scenes?


    ¡°I can question the civic quartermaster about the relevant etiquette,¡± Silapobenk promised the people who cared. Some had no interest regardless of translation availability and made plans to take in more of Mosso Eksu''s attractions. The haunted estate of Hewwikke Satvo Sau, for example, or the legendary restaurant that used a moderate amount of salt. A myth, some said, but others swore to the truth of it.


    Dirant Rikelta felt unsure of his plans. Normally he waited for a god or Ritualist on another continent to tell him what to do, but none obliged him. He thought that to himself as a joke, added ¡°ha ha¡± internally, and immediately began to suspect there was some truth in there that signaled unenviable elements in his character. Not enough Gumption perhaps. Regardless, he was of two minds. He lacked interest in stargazing and in fact had never heard before he arrived there that Mosso Eksu possessed a grand reputation for it. He still doubted that point. On the other hand, he had already appeared in debate-related broadsheet articles and hated to disappoint his new fans, especially the good-looking ones.


    While he packed straw into a crate that could no longer be filled by the remaining merchandise, his last task of the day, two Ommes approached with the intention of affecting his plans. ¡°Hello, Mr. Dirant. This is an invitation from Oppo Imlakke Pau,¡± said Millim Takki Atsa. She viewed debate day as a bigger occasion than a fancy dinner judging by her four silver rings, gold bracelet with amber set in it, and the silk scarf wrapped around her neck. Imlakke''s thin silver torque indicated that he agreed. ¡°He reserved a small box in the Hall that is able to fit four people, or two people and an Adaban, and wonders if you are free to attend. What''s that?¡±


    Imlakke frowned and aimed a few concerned words at his translator. ¡°Oh?¡± Takki returned to Dirant. ¡°Apparently I wasn''t supposed to include the Adaban crack, but I think it''s all right. We get along well enough for a joke or two, don''t we?¡±


    ¡°We do, and to prove it I must accept this graceful invitation. That''s the best thing for all of us.¡±


    ¡°I really think you''re right about that. You have to go in a group when you go to the Hall.¡± She communicated his acceptance to Imlakke, who shook his hand.

 26. The Public Debate

    The Topic Is The Value To Society Of Divination Based On Observations Of Celestial Bodies


    Tosto Eksu, known as Star Hall to Adabans and called Toksu or the Hall by locals and travelers who wanted to sound worldly, functioned as the center of town government. Beyond that, it was the most splendid building in Mosso Eksu. Any major event from concerts to weddings had to be held there unless the organizers wanted everyone to dismiss it before it started. The layout brought ancient clan meetings into the modern era by using boxes rising in columns to represent the tents of the chiefs while the common man sat in the common area, taking one out of the hundreds of seats that faced the orchestra and the elevated stage above that. Each seat had its own rug below it and a fur slung over the back as a cushion much as did the places of hunters and warriors worthy of their names in the past. In Greater Enloffenkir''s buildings meant for entertainment, such luxury was ignored in favor of cramming in more chairs.


    Dirant Rikelta made that observation to his box-mates, whereupon Takki became curious. ¡°Isn''t it hard to have conversations then?¡± In such a manner did he learn the answer to the question of etiquette which had worried the Adabans interested in attending. The audience did not shut up for a single second of the debate. Dozens of conversations went on at once, perhaps hundreds. Ommes undid the careful chair spacing to push them together and form little clubs that praised, criticized, and mocked the arguments made. Takki kept up a running translation not only of the debaters but of Imlakke''s comments to which a response was evidently expected.


    By the end of it, Dirant and Imlakke were exchanging a few sentence fragments directly. ¡°I think I''m on the verge of learning Adaban (Basic),¡± the banker said. Not as one of those efforts at direct communication, which showed how far he had to go. ¡°We''re doing increasing business with GE firms these days. I''d like to learn the language. Honestly I invited you for selfish purposes, but I hope you''re enjoying the event.¡±


    ¡°I am, and I hope it doesn''t diminish your opinion of my own altruism if I learn Usse (Basic).¡±


    <blockquote>


    Ability Usse (Basic) gained.


    </blockquote>


    ¡°And there it is.¡±


    ¡°Mine as well. Congratulations!¡±


    ¡°Congratulations!¡± Each said that jolly word in the other''s tongue.


    The debate concluded, the vote was held, and the proposition put forward by Luas Taikko Hinmi''s side that stargazing is of no practical value won. Everyone applauded, including the stargazers. They had no intention of changing a single thing they did, but they had enjoyed the performance. The participants and audience dispersed among the town''s entertainments, many of which the government permitted to operate at later hours than usual in honor of the special occasion. Oppo Imlakke Pau again imposed on Dirant and Takki.


    ¡°Everyone wants their bankers and lawyers to be worldly these days,¡± he explained. ¡°I have no intention of becoming so, but if I''m seen in public with an Adaban and a known historian''s daughter, people will draw favorable conclusions.¡±


    ¡°It''s true, Mr. Dirant. We all have to increase our worldliness to keep up. I''ve been making some improvements there but it''s not enough, just like when Sottoski visited . . . um . . . folktales aren''t very cosmopolitan, are they?¡± An attack of self-consciousness weighed down Takki''s light steps.


    Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    Dirant, for his part, strode along the Mosso Eksu streets without impairment. ¡°Not when told next to a fireplace to your nieces and nephews, and yet the compilers of stories from the hills and old forests are invited to speak in Dittsen''s glamorous venues. The conclusion must be that folktales told outside the culture that produced them are highly sophisticated.¡±


    ¡°You''ve really hit on something there, Mr. Dirant. Don''t you think so, Imlakke? The tale of Sottoski goes . . .¡± And so the evening went.


    Morning meant the start of the last day in Mosso Eksu for crowds of Ommes. Travelers informed one another and the natives of their plans, bought souvenirs for the folks back home, and drained out of the town like water from a colander, leaving behind something small and light. Mosso Eksu reverted to its habitual moderate activity befitting a moderately sized town as opposed to the exorbitant liveliness it had exhibited before the event.


    Silapobenk Rikelta had decided to leave the next morning in order to take advantage of the souvenir-buying. ¡°Surprisingly, we have suffered no delays thus far. We have no need to hurry to Wamkessi Toltes.¡± He left it there, but then took it right back up to make the implication clear. ¡°Wamkessi Toltes is more fortress than city from all reports. There won''t be much for tourists to do. Enjoy Pavvu Omme Os as much as you can after market closure today.¡±


    ¡°Ah, it is that way, is it?¡± The employees reacted along those lines when they finally got it.


    Stadeskosken, as expected, did much less business that day, though the colored paper designed for use in whimsical or intimate correspondence sold well. Departing Ommes wrapped souvenirs in it. Silapobenk set about trying to devise a way to get Adabans to adopt that charming custom, and Emmeg made sure to write about it in her travel dispatches. What a thrill it was to be there for an instance of spontaneous cultural transmission.


    Afterward, Silone deemed it a social obligation to call on Hewwikke Satvo Sau. He tried to drag Dirtwo along but failed, since Dirant wanted to go. ¡°There is something else I haven''t had a chance to mention. I achieved Usse (Basic) yesterday.¡±


    ¡°I see you have the position of Itinerant Ritualist in view.¡±


    ¡°Is there such a position?¡±


    ¡°No, but it has been discussed.¡±


    Full of optimism about the future, the brothers reached Ink House. It was much transformed from their last visit in that the papers were gone. ¡°They dissolved along with the gremlins. So much for Kul''s idea. I decided against firing him in the end, and it''ll stay that way as long as he keeps getting himself into trouble we can write about.¡± Hewwikke was happy to talk about the incident now that it had ended well for him as far as newsworthy material, or even novel-worthy. In his happiness, he listened with a receptive mind to Silapobenk''s ideas about articles that emphasized the benefits derived from Stadeskosken''s trade mission, the cordiality of its staff members who went so far as to assist with solving a bizarre monster problem unrelated to their products or services, and the desirability of encouraging the government to grant entry and market permits to that company exclusively. Other Adaban transportation and mercantile firms were still evil, of course. No one disputed that.


    As for his house guests, Oppo Imlakke Pau was on the verge of his return journey north. Millim Takki Atsa had no intention of going north at all, but rather east into Yean Defiafi. ¡°Dolbaskei is reputed to have a distortion zone I''d like to check out. We shouldn''t see any fire wolves until next year and the hoarbirds won''t be a problem for months more, so I thought it would be alright. By the way,¡± she said as if she had just then thought of it, ¡°Mr. Dirant, do you know Desurvyai at all?¡±


    ¡°I have it at Basic thanks to a misspent youth.¡±


    ¡°I''m afraid I spent my youth too well. If you see someone armed behind you on the road, you won''t ring the bells, will you? It will just be an everyday citizen from Rattap Tuik on her own trip, and maybe if she asks you to translate a phrase or two for her, you won''t turn her away.¡±


    ¡°That sounds suspicious. No doubt she is bent on creating controversies by making people solve mysteries and so forth.¡±


    She raised a finger. ¡°The people who cause the mysteries deserve the blame for that, don''t you think?¡±


    ¡°Is it blameworthy, for instance, if an employee invents a new procedure that has a few flaws in it, or ought we to praise him for his contributions to the progress of industry? During this trip, we must investigate this mystery as well.¡±


    ¡°Yes, we will must.¡± Takki curtsied. First, Dirant mused, he must assist her with that ¡°will must¡± hiccup.

 27. Eastern Pavvu Omme Os

    The Influence Of The Old Survyaian Empires Is Still Felt


    On a clear enough day, travelers could and did see the hill-crowning citadels above the many-layered walls of Peffu Empe all the way from the riverside. No matter how wistfully Silapobenk gazed at the capital of Pavvu Omme Os, however, Stadeskosken would not be allowed in. For that reason he did not gaze at it at all, wistfully or otherwise. Silapobezor did. Though less interested in the possible financial gains to be made there, the shared sentiment of all Explorers moved him. Dou ke Lenmo behind them had been a town not without its minor fascinations, but members of that class never stopped at one when two was out there somewhere, waiting discovery by a motivated pioneer.


    The other employees enjoyed their trip across the musical country, as they had come to think of it and as Dispatches From a Crass Endeavor described it. Even Millim Takki Atsa sometimes sang as she rode, which she did not off in the distance as she had implied but right in the middle of the convoy. Later, many Adaban tourists felt some disappointment that Pavvu Omme Os was not in fact a nonstop concert, though few were silly enough to say so out loud.


    Though difficult for anyone walking or riding along to perceive, the land in that region rose until the Meggi Tem and its shores became a valley that ever deepened up to the border between Pavvu Omme Os and Yean Defiafi. One citadel on the heights to the north, another to the south, and a network of walls and fortresses between formed Wamkessi Toltes, the Invincible Fortress.


    The government had erected that complex for the benefit of potential visitors from Yean Defiafi. Ommes and permitted Adabans conducted their business in the town guarded by those defenses, also known as Wamkessi Toltes for all that people had tried over the years to popularize distinct names for the civilian section. The fortifications and the town relied on each other, reasoned most who knew what toltes and wamkessi meant in the first place. Foreigners cared even less.


    Which the government encouraged. The best thing was to take absolutely no interest in their surroundings, Captain Sottius Pokku Ektum Aipke told them. ¡°I am sure you were told the rules and restrictions elsewhere in Pavvu Omme Os. While those are still in force, there is an additional consideration here because our current treaties with Yean Defiafi enjoin both sides to monitor travelers who intend to pass over the border minutely for signs of espionage or sabotage to be undertaken against the other country. You will accordingly be under observation at all times. Any attempt to evade observation will result in a revocation of permission to cross the border. Permission to participate in the market would not be rescinded in that event.¡±


    The Stadeskosken representative pondered that. ¡°An important distinction, though after reviewing our budget for accommodations, I think it better for us to pass straight into Yean Defiafi without stopping for the market.¡±


    Captain Ektum, as the pamphlet suggested Captain Sottius Pokku Ektum Aipke ought to be called after her marriage to some fellow named Whosits Ektum Whoever (though courtesy also allowed Captain Pokku Ektum), blinked. ¡°It will take time to process this many Adabans.¡±


    ¡°You will find us very cooperative,¡± Silapobenk assured her. ¡°I don''t imagine minor delays will trouble us, and major ones are quite unthinkable. The Yean Defiafi authorities await our arrival, after all.¡±


    The Stadeskosken employees hoped for her sake Captain Ektum refrained from gambling, since it was too obvious when she thought she had something good. ¡°To facilitate the process while maintaining the necessary oversight, your people are going to be placed in government lodgings. There is no sort of rent involved, obviously, and regulations meals are served at no expense, though many officials prefer to dine elsewhere.¡±


    Silapobenk either pretended to think it over or actually did. Even Dirant could not decide which. ¡°If such arrangements are already made, it may be that will alter my plans.¡±


    Captain Ektum relaxed and escorted the Stadeskosken contingent to the appropriate building, which included stables and a yard plus a garage for wagons all as convenient for a commercial army as a military one. Millim Takki Atsa tried to get a government bunk herself, but only foreigners could take advantage of that generous offer. She left in search of more expensive accommodations while the Adabans carried out their usual preparations.


    This time Silone added some advice to his instructions. ¡°It''s easy to presume when the other party has some power over you that it is supreme in all ways. Don''t deceive yourself. Government Ommes are still Ommes, and they still want what we have. A captain who interferes will soon meet a major who was looking forward to peach liqueur. You always have leverage if you understand what is wanted.¡±


    ¡°I understand,¡± Dirant said. ¡°Influence is mine to wield as long as I''m the only Ritualist here.¡±


    ¡°That''s an excellent example of a failure to find proper leverage. I''ve calculated there''s no need to preserve anything for the rest of the trip, so you''re just another pair of hands from now on.¡±


    This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    ¡°Why did I ever attend Todelk University classes?¡± Dirtwo wondered, but nobody could provide an answer.


    The precautions of the military republic of Pavvu Omme Os in Wamkessi Toltes were not without result. Nothing out of the ordinary happened during Stadeskosken''s stop there, not even an incident so trivial as someone running into a face he had hoped never to see again after what happened, to say nothing of monster problems or a sudden invasion. Nothing unusual happened the next day either when Captain Ektum and her detachment saw the convoy through approximately fifty gates, give or take forty-two, that offered access to the strip of territory between Wamkessi Toltes and the Defiafi stronghold of Conoybarvi. Those two fastnesses glared at each other like a wealthy bachelor uncle''s two nephews who at all times devoted some part of their intellects to calculating whether their inheritance would cover their needs or if the other heir simply had to go.


    Calling the place Defiafi proved the speaker had read the pamphlet as a conscientious traveler ought. ¡°Out of the myriad entertainments available in the prosperous kingdom known as Yean Defiafi, the most beloved by its inhabitants must be mockery of those who refer to their country as Yean and its people as Yeans. For the meaning of yean is land, knowing which fact the absurdity of the term becomes obvious. The sophisticated traveler will disarm the locals by referring to the country as either its name in full or Defiafi, meaning ¡°of the Twins.¡± Do not, upon learning that, make the mistake many of our countrymen have made and thereby exposed themselves to further jeers of inferring defiafi is the word for twins in all circumstances, that being the genitive case while afiafi is the nominative. As for the inhabitants themselves, Defiafis, Survyais, and Survyaa are all acceptable terms. While there are Survyaa in other countries, several states of Greater Enloffenkir not excepted, the Defiafis care nothing for them and therefore regard as wasteful any effort to avoid confusion. A caution is here necessary that regardless of what terminology the traveler employs, the inhabitants will inevitably devise some basis for calling him stupid.¡± What a place, the Adabans agreed. Certainly a country. Millim Takki Atsa shared with them the contents of an Usse booklet entitled Methods to Endure Condescension in Yean Defiafi that she assured them all Omme wayfarers praised as indispensable.


    Worries about their reception created trepidation not at all justified by what happened when they entered Conoybarvi. Even the soldiers smiled under their steel helmets adorned by mighty crests. The local officials did not give such a stern reception as Pavvu Omme Os''s or any at all; it was left to Silapobenk to report to the proper office where the bureaucrats had him sign here and here before sending him on his way with wishes for success on the commercial venture. The Defiafis bought from and sold to Adabans without scruple and showed such enthusiasm in explaining everything a tourist needed to know that the travelers became overwhelmed and somewhat resentful, since the locals clearly believed people outside Yean Defiafi lived in caves with a curtain drawn over the entrance while they punched one another for fun and drank dirty water from animal skulls.


    Still, there was a lot to explain. Greater Enloffenkir and Pavvu Omme Os may as well have merged into one super-country when contrasted with Yean Defiafi. For one thing, those westerners all set their family names second while the Defiafis put it right up front. More materially, its architects favored roundness, both in the overall shape of their plazas and buildings and in the domes atop many of the latter. Some great piles boasted multiple domes at different elevations, sometimes alongside pitched roofs. To pull off a combination of elements the residents judged the height of art, as seen in the houses that sent triangular bay windows projecting from mostly straight house fronts which at times curved back from the street to provide a harbor for an elegant almond tree. When it came to color, Defiafi exteriors eschewed the solemn, intimidating reds, browns, and grays of the west in favor of bright limestone washes and dome-covering copper that returned the sun''s greetings.


    Regarding personal fashion, the travelers had trouble deciding whether some Survyais were with it while others not or if not being with it was the most with-it thing for someone in Defiafi to be. Anything went up top from flat caps to top hats, tricornes and bonnets included. Men for the most part slicked their hair back and cultivated mustaches of various styles in modest sizes, rarely a similarly restrained beard, while women generally incorporated some sort of braid in their arrangements, whether a single long braid, twintails, crown braids, or a little tail not so far unlike the northern Omme style. The motive in all cases had to do with minimizing the tendency to curliness in Survyaian hair that elsewhere on the continent was accentuated, if only by non-Survyaian artists eager to demonstrate their technique and patience when it came to detail.


    Below the neck, the man about town favored a jacket with broad lapels in some shade of red or blue and either a pair of rather tight pants or a kilt of a length variable depending on the wearer''s confidence in his lower physique. Favored it, but showed no hesitation to walk around in robes with loose sleeves to match the kilt if the mood took him, or else a thicker knit garment if the cool autumn winds degenerated into chilliness in his opinion. Personal judgment counted for much in Yean Defiafi. Quite a few women opted for the warm knit top while others challenged modesty by means of dresses whose sharply plunging necklines were concealed by ruffles that seemed as if they might flap in the wind to reveal something exciting despite being sewed or starched so that they never would. Then there were the sashes tied into giant bows the Adabans saw but did not quite comprehend.


    What those people needed as the season grew colder was llama wool according to both Stadeskosken and its customers. The amber and pearls did well, but it seemed no one outside Greater Enloffenkir cared for mabonnpaper. Perhaps the winds failed to be gentle enough. Grapes and grape-related products found buyers even in the face of local competition from honey-derived versions, some lots of which Silapobenk purchased for sale either back home or, better yet, in Saueyi. Regardless of which product was better or more to the purchaser''s taste, wealthy Defiafis who came to market surrounded by servants refused to leave without acquiring something from abroad, an attitude which Stadeskosken deeply appreciated.

 28. The Townsman, The Rustic, The Sojourner

    The First Claims To Know Geography, The Second Admits He Does Not, And The Third Imagines He Must Find It Out But Is Mistaken


    The mission stayed for two days in Conoybarvi and traveled upriver by roads which required some repair to the thinking of the Adabans, though none of the locals seemed to mind the occasional crack or misaligned blocks. ¡°We like our infrastructure to show a little character,¡± explained a certain Superintendent Oligad Sein, who should have been overseeing a work crew but was in fact reclining alongside the workers as they enjoyed the breeze together. They displayed their status for passersby to admire in a manner the Adabans considered scandalous but the Defiafis unremarkable.


    ¡°And they aren''t even high numbers,¡± employees noted as they wondered why foreigners did things like that. Indeed, what purpose was there in putting up unexceptional stats such as these like placards outside of a theater? And yet they did.


    <blockquote>


    HP 316


    Muscle 43 (+1)


    Coordination 30 (+1)


    Verve 36


    Sticktoitiveness 45


    Discernment 33


    Gumption 40


    Tit-for-Tat 30


    Receptivity 22


    Panache 32


    </blockquote>


    That barely qualified for anything except inclusion in a government study of the average stat distribution in the population.


    Upriver of course meant south along the Meggi Tem. ¡°It is still the Meggi Tem, or? Geography and I have never gotten along,¡± one employee admitted. ¡°I can barely remember where Yean Defiafi is, and then we talk about Obeneut and Swadvanchdeu and I become lost in my own head.¡±


    ¡°The unexpurgated edition of these informational journals claims the Defiafis are pleased to leave it as the Meggi Tem,¡± Dirant said after reviewing his copy. ¡°Calling the northernmost major artery in their country the South River amuses them.¡±


    Another Rikelta, the fourth one, moved in to assist with the more general issue. ¡°Think of Egillen as a gigantic hand trying to grab some crumbs below it before mother finds out,¡± Silapobezor recommended. ¡°I won''t, but I was told this works for plenty of people. At the wrist in the far north is Pavvu Istis. Don''t worry about the arm, we don''t have one. Below that are, east to west, Obeneut, Pavvu Omme Os, and some GE members. The next row is Yean Defiafi, much of our GE, Tabiligdum which we surround, tiny little Sedoglai Dolinyan, and Saueyi, then more south are Redrin, more GE, and northern Chtrebliseu. Now the east side curls into a thumb that has Swadvanchdeu, Noiswawau, and Drastlif on it, but the western side is is like a glove made up of the GE, Beriskirofen, and Chtrebliseu. Also Egilof is in there somewhere, but you cross that in a day. Then the crumbs.¡±


    ¡°This is a strange comparison, but I can see it.¡± Onsalkant Stiskenhalpt had a map held up before him as he rode.


    ¡°Most of them belong to Drastlif. One of the bigger islands, I mean crumbs of course, is half Drastlif and half Redrin, and they call their part Lesser Redrin. Then the biggest island is divided among Drastlif, Eubosh Ashurit, and Stegzi. And that is Egillen. Wait. I forgot Ililesh Ashurin.¡± Silfour closed his eyes. ¡°Because some of the crumbs . . . flew up . . . Agh! Never mind. There''s an archipelago north of the GE and west of the Pavvus. Finished.¡±


    That cleared up everything. Sound in its conception of place, the convoy traveled south up the river to Asajvridz. That town became the cause of a discussion on an intellectual topic quite distinct from geography when Dirant remarked that even with Desurvyai (Basic) he knew the meaning of that name: ¡°I tripped.¡±


    Takki laughed. ¡°And they named a city that?¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡± Fluent-Desurvyai-speaker Silfour confirmed the fact and added his own observations. ¡°In plenty of countries, back in Kitslof for example, half the place names mean something like ''Green Field'' or ''Steep Hill'' if you take the words apart. Mostly we don''t do that and treat a name as a name, which is good for me, because ''Pile of Money'' sounds a little crass, doesn''t it? What I mean is, how many of us have really thought about how Adabanneher breaks down into ''the tough-handed people?'' But the way the Defiafis do things is that¡ª¡±


    As worked up about his topic as Silapobezor was getting, the crowd''s wonderment had already peaked. The employees interrupted him by their cries and laughs over the realization.


    Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.


    ¡°From adim? That''s what the Ada- is?¡±


    ¡°It actually does mean that! It never occurred to me to think about it so.¡±


    ¡°All those years in schooling and training and I learn this now? As a casual aside?¡±


    ¡°An excellent joke, Mr. Silapobezor. Next you will tell us the Rikenlikneher are the Song Hill People.¡±


    ¡°Are they not?¡±


    ¡°But this is astonishing!¡±


    Silfour rode along, bemused at the reaction he received before he even reached the important part. Adabans hurried forward or dropped back to tell everyone the news. Out of all of them, it seemed only Stansolt Gaomat knew the startling fact already.


    ¡°This may be a matter of a bird that never wonders how it can fly. In Sivoslof, we discuss the old tribes from a more detached perspective.¡± The Adabans agreed that was likely the case, and also that ¡°the old tribes¡± sounded somewhat flattering.


    Soon they settled down, for as much as the revelation startled them, it carried no particular implication. At last Silfour was able to proceed to his main point. ¡°Place names, yes, I was speaking of those. Most of them end up being a mere description, and usually not even a unique one either. The bulk of the rest of them usually have some historical significance, Eptem for example.¡±


    ¡°Or Rattap Tuik. Lose Crown to put it another way.¡± Takki leaned over to tell Dirant. ¡°It would probably be Lost Crown in your language. A king was killed there as he swam across the river in his flight after a battle that went badly for him. The strange thing was that the people who killed him had nothing to do with that. They were just robbers.¡±


    ¡°But when there''s a name like that in Yean Defiafi,¡± Silfour was saying, ¡°they put it away as soon as they find something more zestful. You''ve heard of husbands with the same idea of course, but the outcome of that is usually a scandal or a corpse.¡± The mostly married employees liked that one. ¡°The Defiafis like to be more, I suppose, playful. We just left Conoybarvi. That means ''To the Neighbors.'' They changed it to that after the border with Pavvu Omme Os became fixed there. That''s the kind of thing that happens. Look at the two great lakes. Those would be Bigger Lake and Smaller Lake anywhere else, something like that, but here they''re Older Sister and Younger Sister, and the city between them, the capital, it''s called Engoyan Ifrazlim which means Doting Father. Those are the names they prefer here.¡±


    His audience appreciated the insight into the conventions of another country. The abridged educational material provided by the company repulsed them by its terseness and lack of character, unlike the road underneath. Perhaps if the authors traveled along with them their perception might have been more favorable, but as it was, they imagined some man with permanently pursed lips, either gone slightly to pudginess or close to emaciated so far out from his youthful days on the rowing team, clad in the finest fashion of thirty years ago as he sat in an office stocked with shelves of books he had written himself. That man had never handled a shipment of amber or cellos. His perspective was too distant from theirs to be considered wholly reliable or relevant.


    The expedition as a whole fell to discussions of various names, whether of cities or anything else. How did Greater Enloffenkir''s two longest rivers, Ontoffemmiror and Onbehemmiror, Like a Slow Cow and Like a Fast Cow respectively, fare as far as Yean Defiafi preferences? Was Fennizen a nice name? Why was Onsalkant so popular?That sort of thing. The discussion became so enmeshed in GE specifics that Millim Takki Atsa required assistance.


    ¡°Mr. Dirant, I hope you will help me understand some things.¡±


    ¡°I accept the challenge.¡±


    ¡°First of all, what makes Sivoslof different, if I interpreted that correctly? Is Mr. Stansolt not an Adaban?¡±


    Dirant felt easy in his mind. He knew the answer to that one. A thorough explanation might even improve his reputation. ¡°Sivoslof is a member of the confederation of course, and we love our Sivoslofer friends as much as, say, Likstamitlofers, if not more. Still, there''s no cause to pretend it isn''t in an unusual situation. Most GE states are contiguous, but Mr. Stansolt''s homeland is far east of the main body, past Redrin and on the shore of the Suvozingedyai Sea. A confluence of peoples and historical accident created it, for assorted villages and trading outposts belonging to Adabans, Hewekers, Mabonns, Yumins, and even Survyais and Obenec banded together to resist the usual Dvanjchtliv incursions. They did so with success enough that all those disparate tribes embraced one another as brothers and sisters. More importantly, as husbands and wives, and now the descendants of that mix consider themselves a new tribe for all that they seem to us to be Adabans with a pleasant way of speaking. Something like when your friends assist you in moving your possessions into new lodgings and all relax afterward to catch their breath, delivering in soft gasps their complaints about having to help as they accept refreshments. The technical explanation has to do with aspiration, I believe.¡±


    ¡°I think I begin to understand. My father always insisted we overused Adaban as a label, but I''m sorry about having to admit I''ve never grasped the distinctions.¡± She frowned. ¡°You are an Adaban though? I haven''t been insulting you in my mind this entire time?¡±


    ¡°If you have, please keep it to yourself. I would hate to hear it. And yes, I am a proper Adaban. That of course makes me an expert on Adaban matters. You may ask whatever you want to hear in full confidence.¡±


    ¡°I will must take advantage of the opportunity then. So, am I right in thinking your family names are much like ours? That is, as Mr. Silapobezor said, we think of them as names instead of words, and that their definitions are not always relevant these days. For instance, there''s rikelta as in someone who sings and the Rikelta family, and you don''t sing at all, right? The Rikenlikneher talk made me think of it.¡±


    ¡°After the refreshments provided by a friend I helped move it is harder to say, but in ordinary times that is exactly true. Our ancestors once were assigned the job of singing out changes in the laws and taking the lead part in religious displays, but now we think of nothing but money. Ah, it escaped me how cynical that would sound until I said it.¡±


    Takki laughed and swayed festively, which was about as much motion as she could manage in the saddle with Horse Riding (Intermediate). ¡°That''s happened to all of us, hasn''t it? A takki used to be a householder who owed military service in place of a fee in money or in kind, but now it''s someone who sits in a stuffy room and writes about what takkis got up to historically. But really we should be glad not to have those old jobs, because we''re free go out to uncover the truths of the world without being tied down.¡±


    ¡°To say nothing of the strain on my voice.¡±

 29. An Impromptu International Convention

    When Mice Are Surrounded By Lions, Will They Not Forget They Are Mice?


    Asajvridz was more than a fun name for foreigners to discuss. It was a town as well, and one where many Defiafis wishing to remove themselves from society for a month or two bought vacation homes. So many had done so, as it happened, that Asajvridz had become yet another social hub. At least there was amusement in that to console the early adopters, as well as rapidly rising property values.


    Silapobenk decided to spend a full four days there amid its encouraging affluence before moving on quickly to the capital and from there back to Greater Enloffenkir. The employees spread out among the picturesque inns and grand hotels, and then into the grand hotels exclusively when those turned out to be cheaper than the inns. The very richest Defiafis prized picturesque retreats highly. Sometimes they pretended to work menial jobs there.


    Dirant took a room in a hotel separate from anyone else in the company, which gave him an opportunity to immerse himself in Desurvyai chatter and perhaps increase his rank in it. Or so he predicted, but the next morning when he went in for breakfast, a foreign element was taking up space in the dining hall that Defiafi hotels possessed, unlike Adaban ones which clumped together all their services in one large lobby on the ground floor.


    It consisted of Yumins, probably from Redrin. They would have stood out from the guests at other tables by their round, clean-shaven faces alone that boasted extravagant tans which the less-pale Survyais rarely matched, not to mention their straight hair that for most of them was brown of a nearly black sort. On top of that, there was fashion. They wore flat caps with small visors for the men and no visors for the women, knee-length shorts over leggings, and long coats that the men among them starched to present as rectangular a figure as possible while the women contrived to bunch theirs at the waist, all in the particular gray that distinguished Redrin servants.


    Eleven of them sat or leaned against round tables together, and nine seemed to defer to two of them, a man and a woman of equal height. An observation much remarked upon in Greater Enloffenkir was that though Yumin men were nearly as tall as Adabans, Adaban women did not measure up to the typical Yumin. Multiple studies on height, weight, and other physical properties had come about because of that oddity and advanced humanity''s understanding of its own form considerably.


    When one of the grooms (for so Dirant guessed them to be based on having heard that was the most prestigious position the cruel Dvanjchtliv nobility of Redrin allowed the long-suffering Yumins to fill) noticed an Adaban enter, he nudged the other and said in Yumin, ¡°There''s today''s missionary to tell us to throw off our Dvanjchtliv masters to peel apples for some Adaban ones instead, Eyanya.¡±


    ¡°I don''t know, Hugal. What makes Adabans better than Dvanjchtlivs?¡± the woman asked.


    ¡°They have darker hair, so it isn''t as obvious when the kid isn''t theirs.¡±


    ¡°That''s good for you, but how does it help me?¡±


    ¡°They have darker hair, so it isn''t as obvious when the kid isn''t your husband''s.¡±


    ¡°That sounds splendid. We''ll overthrow the Dvanjchtlivs as soon as I get married.¡±


    ¡°Oh, good. I''ll tell him.¡± Hugal turned toward Dirant and said, still in Yumin, ¡°We''ll never help you, treason-stirrer!¡±


    ¡°Are you going to let him talk to your fianc¨¦ like that?¡± Dirant asked Eyanya.


    Hugal stumbled back into the table. ¡°They found a loophole! Forgive me, Master Audnauj, but the revolution has been decided.¡±


    After that scene, the Yumins felt obliged to invite Dirant to sit with them. They were servants, as he had conjectured, of a Dvanjchtliv nobleman, Lord Audnauj Olzenchipt Stavripdeu Blawraj. They all stared at him in anticipation when Hugal laGihnal, who was indeed a groom, told him that.


    ¡°Ah, I''m sorry. It is the custom of my people, I suppose, to laugh when we hear a Dvanj name. Here it is. Ha.¡±


    The Yumins groaned, overcome by disappointment. ¡°Well, what now?¡± Eyanya asked. ¡°You were supposed to force us to defend our employer so that we could point to his noble carriage, his good looks, his generosity, his facility when it comes to saddles, his distressing lack of cunning, how handsome he is, and so on. We can''t bring up that stuff on our own initiative, so you have to insult him.¡±


    Dirant made a show of pondering the matter by hunching over the table and tracing lines with his finger unlikely to summon an owl sage. ¡°It is a difficult task since I am unaware of a bad word said about him, but it seems to me, in all likelihood, he is overly interested in horses.¡±


    You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.


    Hugal leaned his elbows on the table and pointed at Dirant with both hands. ¡°I would tell Ostandyum himself if he asked that you must have grown up in the same stable as Master Audnauj. You''ve described him from top to bottom, except for his terrible taste in women. But you know, he has his good points too. You can remember them for yourself. I need to eat this spice that has some fish under it.¡±


    Dirant poked his own just-delivered trout. ¡°Though a recent arrival in this country, I was informed of this. The Defiafis, it is said, are convinced foreigners are quite incapable of handling the intense heat of their cuisine no matter the evidence to the contrary. Is it hot or mild in your opinion?¡±


    Eyanya held up a fork filled with fish. ¡°Watch and keep in mind that things are going pretty well for me. Good health, steady employment. Here.¡± She shoved the morsel in her mouth, jerked a bit in her chair, and started crying.


    Dirant took the example seriously. ¡°Have the instructional materials provided by the company at last misinformed me?¡± he wondered but did not say, as he was unwilling to criticize Stadeskosken in front of outsiders, even friendly ones. He tackled his trout at first with hesitation and then with puzzlement. ¡°It''s spicy. Somewhat. Chtrebliseuans would call it piquant, I''m sure.¡± The Yumins believed him to be putting on an act, but those were his true feelings. The expert was right again, which contrasted with many of his recent experiences. Perhaps it was a matter of genuine versus assumed expertise, or maybe Ritualists were simply unobservant.


    Speaking of Redrins, the upper class made its entrance. Two men entered the dining hall, one of them clearly identifiable as Lord Audnauj by the quality of his garments and how well described he was by the attributes his servants had enumerated. He gave up a few inches to Dirant but by no means justified the dreadful label of short, and his tawny hair with its slight waves framed a face that had never been disfigured by an expression of deceit or any unworthy sentiment. Portraits of Dvanjchtlivs and illustrations of their historical feats always depicted them with thick and often curled mustaches, but Audnauj had nothing of the kind. Aside from that his dress looked conventional enough so far as the contemporary Adaban understood the habits of the Redrin nobility. He wore the embroidered knee-length coat that was buttoned high up but allowed to split below as well as a hat whose brim curved up on the sides and which featured a tuft of horsehair where most non-Dvanjchtlivs would affix either feathers or nothing.


    The man with him was probably his number one servant, whatever Redrins called that position, being another Dvanjchtliv. He was taller even than Dirant to say nothing of his master, which proved Audnauj by implication to be the sort not to let that get to him. His wavy blond hair was tied in a ponytail and he had grown a thin, Defiafi-like mustache. His attire was the same as his master''s but less so, buttons not as shiny and so on. He raised an eyebrow at the Adaban but made an introduction without any prompting or explanation from the Yumins.


    ¡°Hello, sir. This is a fine day to introduce Lord Audnauj Olzenchipt Stavripdeu Blawraj.¡± He indicated the nobleman to his left with his right hand, which he held flat and perpendicular to his abdomen. ¡°It will be finer when you are introduced.¡±


    Hugal laGihnal hopped up straight and held his hand the same way except that it was his left, since he was to the left of Dirant. ¡°Dirant Rikelta, sir.¡±


    ¡°Our meeting is a blessing for me,¡± Dirant added. He figured that sounded polite enough in any language, and it was something he knew how to say in Dvanj.


    Audnauj bowed in the Dvanjchtliv manner, which outsiders might have called a curtsy were it not for the reputation for martial exploits of conquest and heroism attached to that tribe. He bent one knee and dipped his head, Dirant returned the courtesy with an Adaban upper-body bow, and they were not done yet. Eyanya esAhnsay had navigated herself to a position convenient for introducing the other man. ¡°Chief Attendant Onzalkarnd Lakchorvu Evrandistraj.¡± He gave a deeper not-curtsy, Dirant gave a shallower bow along with another assurance that he felt blessed without delivering any comment on how familiar that name sounded, and at last they were done.


    ¡°Is breakfast still being served?¡± Audnauj asked. ¡°I thought I would drop by the stables, and time got away from me a bit.¡± He either failed to notice the wry looks the Yumins shared with Dirant or considered them part of the servant compensation package.


    It was still being served. He fell to eating and chatting with the new face and even with his servants, though they spoke in a much different way with him around. They used Dvanj for one thing. Also their attempts at reproducing the famed Yumin two-man comedy routines vanished like ghosts when the sun rises.


    Dirant explained that he was with a respected commercial firm, Stadeskosken by the way, on a trading expedition through Pavvu Omme Os and Yean Defiafi to supply northerners with the highest-quality southern goods at reasonable prices, Stadeskosken, pressure your government to allow us entry, Stadeskosken. He was more subtle than that, he believed. It felt that way to him nevertheless.


    ¡°I''m here on business too, though the profit won''t be in money. Not for me, at any rate.¡± Audnauj spoke to Dirant with as little formality and restraint as he would with a childhood companion. That genial manner of his made Dirant want to repay him by not attempting to overthrow the Redrin nobility and incorporate the country into Greater Enloffenkir either in whole or as a set of smaller states. Many back home wanted and expected to accomplish that soon. ¡°Father, that''s Count Blawgnu if the name means anything to you, is looking to erect a statue in a town of his that could use a bit of decorating. He''s entrusted the arrangements to me. We''ve been told Asajvridz has a thriving art scene. In particular, there''s a sculptor here who''s mastered the depiction of the equine form.¡±


    ¡°And that is the subject of the prospective piece? It''s a horse statue?¡±


    Audnauj nodded vigorously, like a stallion. ¡°That''s right. A horse statue is just the thing every community needs. So I''ve been seeing the sculptor. She''s even more amazing than the rumors said.¡± He drifted off, his mind elsewhere, while the Yumins nudged Dirant and kicked him under the table.

 30. Three Societies Mingled

    Can There Be A Weaker Color Than Purple, Which Stains Once And Never Can Be Set Right? Let Us Coat Ourselves In Black, Gentlemen, And Mind No Blemish!


    The discussion turned to non-personal news for a short time, such as the agreement between several GE states and Stegzi to pursue an anti-pirate initiative. Many in Redrin feared that to be a excuse to gather ships in preparation for a strike against their naval facilities in Lesser Redrin, or the Lesser as they called it. Onzalkarnd questioned how the alleged plotters intended to do so without starting a war, or if they judged themselves mighty enough to wage it, why they needed to engage in subterfuge in the first place. Those arguments convinced Audnauj that those Adabans must be all right after all.


    ¡°I think we worry too much about Grenlof. Sivoslof and Flegestetnar are annoying, granted, but they''ve always helped us against Swadvanchdeu and Noiswawau as they promised. The current war down there has made us all forget how vital that is, but once that''s over we''ll be happy for their assistance before too long.¡±


    Reassured that he might not be such a big problem after all, Dirant parted with the Redrin crowd on friendly terms and went to work. After some physical labor of kind only a Ritualist could do, evidently, he toured the town with some coworkers and an open-minded Omme, or rather a Jalpi Peffu since he was no longer doing business in Pavvu Omme Os.


    He walked back toward his hotel in an evening hour when some light from the sun still illuminated shining Yean Defiafi, since working days made demands on his sense of responsibility as far as the hours he kept. The sight of public stables on the street arrested him. He noticed then that the building was rectangular as he was used to, but the horses poked their heads out of round openings above the doors. The refusal of the Defiafis to give up on their aesthetics no matter the circumstances inspired him.


    ¡°Not too bad, are they? Boats are more the thing around here, but if you can buy up a few breeding heroes from your neighbors, why not, eh?¡± Lord Audnauj and his chief attendant were also captivated by the sight, if for different reasons.


    So calming was that Redrin noble''s aspect that Dirant felt no awkwardness in the sudden encounter. He still maintained propriety of course, and he tried to adopt slightly more Dvanjchtlivy speech patterns in order to accommodate the other party. ¡°I''m aware I can''t outdo the judgment of the Redrin nobility in this area, Lord Audnauj.¡±


    ¡°Prefer to use your Discernment for other things, I see. We each have our roles to play, eh? Enough about that. How about you dine with us this evening if you haven''t yet, Mr. Dirant? I promise I''ll talk about something besides horses, or if I don''t, the others will.¡±


    The invitation surprised him, as did Audnauj''s awareness of both his own peccadilloes and GE forms of address. Dirant was a non-noble, a chance acquaintance, and an Adaban, in increasing weight of reasons for a Redrin aristocrat not to desire his company. Lord Audnauj perceived that, sidled a little closer, and lowered his voice. ¡°You''d be helping me out if you accepted. More, I''d like it if you spent time with my servants. It''s this way. The Yumins, we love them of course, but we''re afraid they have some outmoded notions. They have this idea that no Dvanjchtlivs bother to learn their speech. It''s true Onzalkarnd outright refuses, but in my family, Grandfather was the last one not to speak both growing up, and even he has a bit of Yumin in his bags now.¡±


    ¡°Ah.¡± Dirant thought he saw the problem. ¡°And they talk among themselves . . .¡±


    ¡°In distressingly candid terms, yes. I wish I''d said something to them earlier. I fear it''s gone too far now. But if an outsider''s around, one who knows Yumin, well, won''t they have a pinch of reserve? I tell you, this morning was a great relief for me, and it''s you I have to thank for it.¡±


    Audnauj finished his pitch while wearing an expression so wishful that to refuse would have required Sticktoitiveness of at least 5,000 and a correspondingly low Tit-for-Tat. Dirant, more moderate in both stats, accepted.


    Dirtwo''s new social circle pleased Silone when he heard about it. ¡°Now maneuver this Lord Audnauj into a position of authority where he can open Redrin''s borders to us,¡± he said in such a way that communicated to his brother that sure he was kidding, but only because he considered the prospect implausible for the time being, and he should keep in mind tomorrow is another day.


    Dirant learned more about the Redrin contingent over the next couple of days, including the exciting fact that the chief attendant''s class was Picker and the dispiriting one that he did not have the Edition Freeze ability or any inclination to acquire it. He also learned from the servants all the stuff Audnauj had hoped they would stop talking about with an outsider around.


    Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    ¡°It''s just a special talent some people have. I wouldn''t be surprised if the master has it under General Abilities. Attraction to the Wrong Type (Advanced).¡± Eyanya shook her head in feigned despondence undercut by her wide smile.


    ¡°Now what do you mean by that?¡± Hugal asked, not for his own benefit but rather for the Adaban audience. ¡°Speculators? Pursuers of dangerous occupations? The unhinged?¡±


    ¡°Did you forget social climbers, incurable coquettes, and the self-absorbed? It doesn''t matter if you did, because he never does. He collects them as other men do . . . hm . . .¡±


    ¡°Horse statues?¡± Dirant suggested.


    ¡°That''s it,¡± both grooms confirmed.


    ¡°Listen to me, young man.¡± If Eyanya was older than Dirant the difference could be no more than a few years, much like Hugal and Audnauj, but the scenario required that the audience ignore that. ¡°I''ve been in Master Audnauj''s service for a good long time now, more than a year, and I''ve seen in that stretch more defective women than I dreamed existed in the entire world. His family and loyal servants have kept him from taking too much damage, so far, but it''s like a siege against endless Obenec hordes. The upside is that the next time you feel the stirrings of romance, run her by me first. I''m an expert in recognizing the signs through sheer repetition.¡±


    Hugal interrupted. ¡°Or, better yet, run her by me.¡±


    Dirant spread his hands. ¡°To what purpose? She would take one look and keep running.¡±


    The Yumins also informed him of the true reason why they would never prefer Greater Enloffenkir to their current lords. ¡°You''ll make us learn Adaban, when we''d much rather listen to you speak Yumin like you''re nervous about the interview for a job you need badly.¡±


    ¡°What''s the cause of his financial distress, Hugal?¡±


    ¡°Let me see.¡± Hugal looked over Dirant with a critical attitude. ¡°I have it. He became a Ritualist. They get paid in soup and bread crusts.¡±


    ¡°That must be it!¡±


    That interested Dirant. ¡°Is that how things are in Redrin?¡±


    ¡°Of course. Isn''t it in Grenlof?¡±


    ¡°I''ll never be ungrateful for my salary again. I must try to have it increased. Meanwhile, without making any accusations since I''m unsure of the defamation laws in this country, what about this sculptor?¡±


    One of the maids spoke out of pure conviction with no regard for possible legal consequences. ¡°Desonn Sheglei, to put it politely, is no good. I''m not sure what exactly is wrong with her, but it''s true.¡± Eyanya gave that analysis her full endorsement. Hugal also agreed with the addition of one essential provision.


    ¡°We mean that morally. Physically is something else. I understand completely the master''s attraction, but I only hope that if I were in the same situation . . .¡±


    ¡°You won''t be,¡± everyone assured him.


    ¡°That I would listen to the excellent counsel of my well-wishing friends and brilliant servants.¡±


    Audnauj''s plan had failed nearly as completely as could be imagined. Even when Dirant attempted to insert Millim Takki Atsa into the mixture as a more proper outsider and a lady as well, the servants simply began to teach her their language starting with the worst words. She appreciated the opportunity to broaden her horizons, but that did nothing for Lord Audnauj. At least Dirant usually managed to redirect the conversation when his lordship was present before it became spicier than the food. For instance, how was the statue thing going, and how complex could a statue be?


    ¡°It''s quite simple as far as commissioning the work of course. I wouldn''t have spent as much time here as I have if it weren''t . . . if I didn''t want to make sure the vision for it has been gotten across to the sculptor with no possibility of mischance. Ahem.¡± One of the Yumins began to mutter a smart remark, but Dirant imposed on their new familiarity to kick the man in the shin under the table. ¡°There''s a second aspect though. We''re trying something that''s never been done before, and I''m excited to have it in my charge. Have you any knowledge of eardron, Mr. Dirant?¡±


    ¡°Sometimes crates stamped with Redrin markings and labeled ''eardron wind chime'' pass through the warehouse. As those do not require the Preservation Ritual, they and I never have occasion to relax together.¡±


    ¡°That''s it. Eardron is a quirky little metal found only in the Lesser, that''s Lesser Redrin I mean, which is on an island if you don''t know where that is. It isn''t good for much, apparently, because it''s brittle, doesn''t keep an edge, just pretty bad overall, but the special thing it has is that it changes colors. Well, tint? Shade? There''s a term for it. It just sort of shimmers in response to sound. People like to use a bit of it for trinkets, like those wind chimes.¡± One of the Yumins held up a pocket watch and another a knife, the back and handle of which were plated in something that did indeed shift its shining surface among coppery, silvery, and tin-esque while Audnauj talked. ¡°I''ll tell you this, the interior decorators hate it. Colorists and that type. They complain about how they can''t coordinate things properly if one of the key elements keeps changing. We listen to them, but the Yumins, well, it''s as you can see. So when it came to prettying up the square, Father wondered why we shouldn''t do something to please the Yumins who would be looking at it, by and large. There it was, the idea for a magnificent statue fully covered in eardron. The hope is that the way it reacts to the wind and chatter in the square will make it look almost like it''s running, you know, all the glorious muscles working and that. But the company that produces the stuff indicates there''s a problem that could use some oversight, so I''ll be off to the Lesser soon.¡±


    Then the servants started to speculate about the depths of the Dvanjchtlivs'' attachment to horses, and Dirant had to redirect the conversation again. That was getting harder and harder. He considered trying to work in Stansolt Gaomat because he spoke both Yumin and Dvanj with a facility enviable by natives, but bringing a Sivoslofer into a Redrin milieu seemed an unjustifiable act of rashness. The best Dirant could do was get the Yumins talking about the eardron knickknacks their grandparents collected. A universal phenomenon, as it turned out.

 31. A Shocking Disappearance

    A Proper Parting Raises The Hairs On The Arms And Tortures Sweetly The Submissive Mind, But Not All Are So


    On the fourth day, the Yumins were no longer interested in eardron, dangerous women, or anything the slightest bit fun, and neither did Onzalkarnd view everything from a dispassionate perspective as was his wont. Dirant discovered all that in the morning when he came down from his room. Servants running up and down or in and out paused at the base of the stairs to report to Hugal and Eyanya while Onzalkarnd paced about and engaged any guest or hotel employee who walked by in a low-voiced conversation.


    He approached Dirant when the Adaban at last left the stairs after pausing to view the scene and, in a tone more deferential than Dirant had ever heard from him, asked, ¡°Mr. Dirant, have you seen Lord Audnauj today? When was the last time?¡±


    ¡°The last time was dinner yesterday. Has something untoward occurred?¡±


    ¡°He''s missing, Mr. Dirant. We can''t find him for anything.¡± The quaver in Onzalkarnd''s typically steady voice indicated the matter was serious.


    ¡°A worrying affair. What are the details?¡±


    If only someone had any. All the servants knew was that Lord Audnauj retired to his room which he did not share and had been seen by nobody since. ¡°I thought he seemed a little peppier than usual, but only a little. He''s been peppier before for sure. I already asked if he received any messages, but it seems not.¡± Hugal shrugged.


    ¡°Not that any of us saw,¡± Eyanya corrected. ¡°The master does go without his entourage at times.¡±


    ¡°Then what must be done is to look for witnesses in town. What do the authorities say?¡± Dirant asked.


    ¡°They said.¡± Onzalkarnd took a moment to collect himself. ¡°What they said was that it was a concerning report they would certainly keep in their minds. What they implied was that Lord Audnauj, of all people, must be off having fun somewhere as if he were some Survyaian younger son with nothing more expected of him than to waste away in time to avoid serious scandal by filling an early grave.¡±


    ¡°We could have used that manpower, too,¡± Hugal said. ¡°We have everyone who speaks Desurvyai looking, which is two of us out of twelve servants altogether.¡±


    Dirant, regardless of his power, was at least a man. ¡°I''ll ask around as much as I can. I wish it were not so, but we must leave tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°Anything you can do is appreciated,¡± Onzalkarnd told him, and because of that Dirant wanted to do a little more. At the very least, perhaps he might get the whole day to search since his rituals had become unnecessary.


    He went straight to Silapobenk Rikelta, the boss, the guy in charge. ¡°I have a startling request,¡± he said, and made it.


    ¡°That is startling,¡± Silone admitted. ¡°A chance to make a Redrin noble indebted to us. How must we act to take advantage? I have it. Mr. Silapobezor! Mr. Stansolt!¡± The named employees heeded him and approached. ¡°I am putting you under Mr. Dirant for today or possibly longer. At his discretion, you may be forced to catch up with us.¡±


    ¡°Congratulations on your promotion, Dirtwo!¡±


    ¡°I couldn''t have done it without you, Silfour.¡± As serious as the situation was, Dirant was still human. ¡°What increase in salary does this promotion carry?¡±


    ¡°None. Furthermore, you may just be out of a job if you handle this badly. Such as by dawdling.¡± With that Silapobenk dismissed the three.


    Dirant explained the background to his subordinates and elaborated on what he wanted, starting with a description of Audnauj Olzenchipt Stavripdeu Blawraj and admonitions to stop laughing. He then repeated the briefing for Millim Takki Atsa when she dropped by. Perhaps it was the scent of a mystery that drew her.


    ¡°I really do understand that I''m useless here, but please take me along,¡± she begged. Not that Dirant intended to refuse her, but seeing her on the verge of tears, a condition she later denied, naturally he added her to his personnel.


    Dirant coordinated with Onzalkarnd, Hugal, and Eyanya in the search for witnesses. The Survyais they asked about Lord Audnauj and any couriers who might have delivered a message to him cooperated to the best of their capability, as they were always happy to be part of a spontaneous event. No clue emerged. The servants began to despair.


    When their moping was translated for Takki, she gave them the gift of cheer. ¡°Did you expect something yet? Someone up late enough to have seen him at the time we want is probably in bed right now.¡±


    ¡°I''m more heartened to hear that than dismayed at how dumb I am for not thinking of it,¡± Hugal said, his rising spirits reflected in his returning flippancy.


    The investigators went to work after lunch with renewed enthusiasm that was rewarded with meaningful results. Silapobezor found a couple strolling down a back street. The two had done the same on the day before, upon which occasion they had noticed a handsome, honest-looking Dvanjchtliv being approached by a courier. The man was handed a message he read and immediately tore up with a smile on his face. The couple knew what that meant. They gave each other a meaningful look and felt all the world was in love, and that was how they remembered the incident.


    Of course they could describe the courier. He was a fellow, Survyai as might be expected, a tad on the shorter side, who perhaps ought to have had greater concern for his personal appearance. His mustache exhibited lamentable droopiness, his hair was getting unruly as it progressed a little too far down his neck, and his jacket that was gray in the servile style of Redrin adopted by some employers wanted a substitute button or two. After wringing as detailed description as he could get from them, Silapobezor reported back.


    This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.


    Onzalkarnd gathered the servants along with the four external volunteers. ¡°The plan is to sweep the town in the direction the witnesses said the courier went. I wish for everyone to remember that he may well be wearing different clothes, as courier work is part-time for many.¡±


    ¡°It''s also an excellent cover for someone wishing not to be examined closely.¡±


    ¡°Mr. Stansolt. Are you suggesting Lord Audnauj''s disappearance may be the work of a criminal gang?¡±


    Stansolt Gaomat answered in a distracted tone while he patted himself down and adjusted various unseen items on his person. ¡°It''s suggested itself to everyone already, has it not? But seeing as no one wants to say so aloud, I won''t put myself forward as the first.¡±


    The searchers spread out, each keeping within sight of his two neighbors when possible, ready to throw up three fingers upon seeing the purported courier or five for Audnauj himself. They tried to cover ground and look inconspicuous at the same time, but unfortunately, none of them had any idea how to do that except for Stansolt. He admired the buildings, asked directions, checked out stalls permitted for complex legal reasons to operate outside the market proper, and sat on benches and the sides of fountains only to hurry up when a clock chimed as if a lady were waiting for him, sighing perhaps.


    Street traffic thinned between lunch and dinner, and even more so in the part of town they subjected to investigation. People who needed to work lived there. There was, however, one man who loitered outdoors in no hurry either to please an employer or pursue a home-based occupation, ghostwriting duel challenges as an example, for all that his shabby shirt hung over pants which the fastidious might call ¡°the wrong size.¡± Yet for all his lounging, he did not seem the sort who took life easy. He was alert and ready for battle according to the account Battler Millim Takki Atsa gave after she backed off and signaled to the others.


    ¡°We ought to be prepared for a scene,¡± Onzalkarnd warned. The Yumins shifted their knives into accessible positions, Dirant reminded himself that the word was loojweirloo, Silapobezor prepared to do whatever Explorers did in fights, Stansolt slipped away entirely, and Takki was always ready for battle. Onzalkarnd judged his squad to be ready and advanced to confront the target.


    ¡°Excuse me, sir. Yesterday, was it you who . . .¡± Somewhere between ¡°excuse¡± and ¡°who,¡± the courier dashed in the opposite direction from the Dvanjchtliv as fast as Yumin armies used to do. That was how the Adabans looked at it, anyway. The Yumins might have offered a different interpretation of certain historical events if asked.


    The searchers pushed away the few startled Defiafis on the street and ignored confused shouts from open doors and windows to pursue the quarry as he raced through the winding back streets with the inevitable result that they completely lost him. They slowed and began to mill about in the middle of the street when their failure became difficult to avoid acknowledging, but for a moment only.


    ¡°This way,¡± a familiar voice called out. They saw, halfway down a narrow path between buildings none of them had realized was a path because of how cluttered it was with boxes and sacks of things that probably ought to be taken out of town before the smell became unpleasant, a fence. On one side was the courier who was seconds away from making it over, seconds he was denied by, on the other side, Stansolt Gaomat. He waved.


    The grooms took possession of the captive, firmly but gently since he might have been guilty of nothing worse than giving in to exercise fads which advised running hard between slower jogging sessions. Dirant praised his underling for really going above and beyond. ¡°That was a superb accomplishment, and I will absolve you of the charge of boasting if you tell us how you went about it.¡±


    Stansolt shook out his hands that had a little too much criminal Defiafi on them for his liking. ¡°It was nothing more than a result of observation. In Greater Enloffenkir, you would run into a crowd if you were chased, correct? That''s the natural course. It works well because of the general similarity of dress. Here, where everyone takes pains to appear distinct, I guessed a runner would prefer to make an escape through the disordered infrastructure. That guess led me to travel the back roads and narrows while orienting myself by the commotion, and the result is as you see.¡±


    That made sense. Dirant Rikelta, as a typical student and commercial Ritualist, had simply never been in a position such that it would be helpful to formulate models of likely escape behavior before, or to be compelled to suspect what he suddenly did suspect. Whether it was his Discernment, Receptivity, or sense of inferiority, the anxiety the Pavvu Omme Os officials claimed to feel about letting spies smuggle themselves into their neighbor via trade missions came to his mind. He glanced at Silfour and imagined his brother''s expression reflected a similar internal state. Well, that was a problem for Yean Defiafi or some other country. If the thrilling revelation about Stansolt Gaomat''s true occupation was not an invention of an exercised mind, which it certainly was, as he reminded himself.


    Meanwhile, Onzalkarnd''s attempts to extract the courier''s story met superficial success. ¡°I don''t like to say who gave me any particular commission out of a natural concern for the client''s privacy. I''m sure working ladies and gentlemen such as you understand. Still, if what you say is true, what is a little discomfort? It is nothing. My information, as much as I can tell without embarrassment, is this. I was picked out for some reason, the favor of the gods? To carry a message for a man who is overwhelmingly charismatic and influential; it is unnecessary to linger on how wealthy he is and what I was paid for this trifling service. He was most insistent that he not be identified, and money has a persuasive force quite out of proportion to its mere physical weight and size, I have always found. I hope that when I assure you my one-time patron would never be involved in any project but the highest type worthy of kings or the one or two honest priests in the world, you will accept my word as conclusive on that topic.¡±


    ¡°I don''t know what he''s saying, but he''s lying about it,¡± Battler Millim Takki Atsa informed the group in Adaban.


    ¡°I know what he''s saying. He''s a liar,¡± Battler Stansolt Gaomat confirmed, also in Adaban.


    Onzalkarnd took their opinions under consideration. ¡°Sir, there is a rumor going around in the Battler community that a portion of what you have told us lacks something as to its veracity. We will understand each other better if I tell you frankly that I believe it. What is your purpose in inventing this tale?¡±


    The liar tugged his collar. ¡°That? Simply a way to pass the time.¡±


    Clouds of white smoke burst into being all around them, filling the narrow side path with fright and anarchy. When the fumes cleared, the Yumins who had been restraining the suspect held nothing but scraps of his clothing and also him. ¡°Dolmellro, they didn''t let go,¡± he complained to his associate.


    ¡°I''m more aware of that than my composure can handle, Hiesonna,¡± said the associate, who was in the grasp of Takki and Stansolt. ¡°I don''t think it''s sportsmanlike to bring Battlers into an amusing little job like this one. They take everything too seriously.¡±

 32. The Den

    They Are Quite Wrong Who Imagine A Domicile To Take Its Shape From Its Owner''s Preferences, For More Often Do His Habits Conform Themselves To Its Eccentricities


    ¡°There is the estate of Banviai Bantas, a place both resplendent and secluded, just as the rumors report. Again, I have nothing but praise for my subordinate Mr. Stansolt, and nothing in the way of desire to hear exactly the methods he employed in interrogating those two men.¡± Dirant shook Stansolt''s hand while Takki, Onzalkarnd, Hugal, and Eyanya wondered if they were supposed to clap. Adabans were inscrutable. They waited for Silapobezor''s reaction, saw none in particular outside of that odd look he kept giving Stansolt, and decided not to worry about it.


    ¡°Everyone is gratified to be recognized for one''s talents,¡± Stansolt said. ¡°There was regrettably no real time for a proper interrogation. I simply interviewed genuine couriers as to whether they knew of anyone employing these men. Banviai Bantas was the name that came up.¡±


    Banviai Bantas. Survyai names had started to sound funnier to Dirant than Dvanj ones, but not enough to reduce him to indignity. As for the man himself, he was known to be one of the affluent Defiafis who kept a second, third, or sometimes fifth home in or, as in this instance, near Asajvridz. He never visited town personally, and while he entertained often when at that residence, his guests were invariably out-of-towners. All that made him one of the more enigmatic seasonal inhabitants. That fact attracted some gossip, though the lack of scandal repulsed more.


    Trees that brought forth assorted fruits and nuts screened the house, which boasted the grandest dome of all: a small hill, partially excavated to make room for the rural dwelling and its windows framed by creeping ivy that never grew but rather was fashioned from copper and gold. Millim Takki Atsa admired the innovative Defiafi techniques. ¡°I''m not sure if it''s tasteful or gaudy, but I think it''s beautiful. By the way, I don''t see any regular domestic activity, so this is probably a front for a sinister operation. What''s the house''s name?¡±


    Onzalkarnd was glad to speak on domicile-related subjects, though the cultural barrier sometimes interfered. ¡°I''m not sure I understand you, miss. Houses don''t have names.¡±


    ¡°Of course they do. What''s the name of your house, Mr. Dirant?¡±


    ¡°It''s only honesty that pushes me to admit it lacks one. So. Onzalkarnd and Mr. Silapobezor will remain outside to spot. Mr. Silapobezor was to circle around the back, but . . .¡±


    ¡°And I will do so. There may be a passage through the hill. Look at all that money that went into this complex.¡±


    ¡°You''re correct of course. Our Battlers and Small Fry will enter, and I will follow them, use the Fascination Ritual if necessary, and exit afterward before I become a liability. That is understood?¡±


    Hugal answered. ¡°That part is. I also understand why I''m here, but I want people to have to say it out loud.¡±


    ¡°You accepted your fate as a minor obstacle for your master''s enemies the moment you chose the Small Fry class,¡± Stansolt said. There was no malice in it or much of any emotion, as his basket-hilted straight sword had all his attention during the pre-battle checkup.


    ¡°I think it''s unfair to hold me to a decision I was only able to make because I had under 40 Discernment.¡±


    ¡°Had?¡± Eyanya asked.


    ¡°Have.¡±


    ¡°Ah, and you must therefore agree your judgment ought to be subordinated to ours, since our Discernment is higher.¡± Dirant''s argument seemed unanswerable, but he had underestimated the grooms.


    ¡°Now that ''ours'' is curious, isn''t it, Hugal?¡±


    ¡°It sure is. Battlers have 42 minimum. Battlers have. Battlers.¡±


    ¡°Battlers.¡±


    Hugal and Eyanya threatened to keep that up until everyone thought better of going inside without a more reliable force, one possible to muster only with the cooperation of the Asajvridz municipal government, which maintained its indifference toward the entire affair. Leadership demanded that Dirant do something regardless of his discomfort, and he did.


    Ritualist


    Priest of Holzd


    LV 7 410/1000


    The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    HP 247


    Muscle 35 (+1)


    Coordination 43 (+4)


    Verve 42 (+3)


    Sticktoitiveness 55 (+4)


    Discernment 68 (+4)


    Gumption 25 (+2)


    Tit-for-Tat 42 (+1)


    Receptivity 87 (+6)


    Panache 45 (+3)


    Though unable to make out the priest part, the rest of the group was impressed. The Yumin grooms succumbed to a silence born of awe at the smug Ritualist''s considerable stats, not to mention the aura of pride emitted by Takki for some reason. They stared at the flashed status, at each other, and shook their heads. ¡°I''m sorry,¡± Eyanya said. ¡°You don''t qualify for Small Fry.¡±


    ¡°Not even close.¡± Hugal sighed.


    ¡°What high spirits you show in the face of unfavorable reality. Your bravery is something else. Battlers, if you will.¡± At Dirant''s request, the two seekers of truth, or one of them since Stansolt had never expressed an opinion on the true purpose of his class to Dirant''s knowledge, much less one that agreed with Takki''s, charged across the front lawn from the trees to the door, weapons in hand and eyes alert. Then Stansolt knocked.


    He waited half a minute, knocked again, waited, and knocked. In accordance with the ancient law universally accepted in the lands of the Adabans and related tribes, the visitors claimed for themselves any territory the owner failed to defend. ¡°Bust it down,¡± Dirant ordered.


    Mr. Banviai''s door resisted Takki''s halberd no better than Hewwikke''s had. ¡°I just found out there''s a Door Smasher ability,¡± she remarked as she stepped through the splinter-rich gash in the door. The foyer beyond it welcomed guests with the allure of being surrounded by wealth. There were suits of armor, including a pair identical to that worn by Kelnsolt Aradetnaf''s Armor Giant, vases glazed by masters, a chandelier that raised its candle-hoisting limbs over every part of the ground floor, and paintings Takki recollected as being reported as stolen from famous collections.


    What grabbed Dirant''s attention was the way floor tiles of unlike sizes, shapes, and colors formed enthralling designs in the center of the chamber before the grand staircase. To be technical, what grabbed his attention was his Ritual Judgment. ¡°Refrain from stepping there. It''s an incomplete ritual. The trigger for its completion is likely the addition of celebrants.¡±


    ¡°Its purpose is what?¡± Stansolt asked.


    Dirant kept firm to his policy of projecting leader-like confidence and accordingly answered, ¡°It''s impossible to know,¡± rather than, ¡°I have no idea.¡± Both statements held nothing but unimpeachable truth. To choose between them resembled ordering at a Defiafi restaurant where every dish was recommended and only presentation distinguished them.


    Warned by that, the rescue party searched the palace while keeping an eye out for signs of traps such as the wire Stansolt cut, the pressure plate Takki marked with a polished stone from a bag she kept for sling-related reasons, and a steel beam which fell on the grooms.


    ¡°Never before did I wish to be shorter than you, Eyanya.¡±


    ¡°I have wonderful news for you, Hugal. These bumps will make us both an inch taller.¡±


    Takki slapped some chunks of meat she had for injury-related reasons on their heads. ¡°Hold that there. If it doesn''t hurt too much, can you tell us how much HP you lost?¡±


    ¡°80 or so,¡± Hugal reported after that was translated for him.


    ¡°These traps aren''t deadly so much as ways to stall for time, just like what the courier did. I think we''re dealing with criminals who prefer flight to resistance. Does that sound right to everyone?¡±


    Takki''s conclusion relieved some of the tension everyone except she and Stansolt felt, but all remained cautious as they searched the house. To no result. The furniture was in good repair, dust had reigned for a short time only, and no one was there.


    ¡°That''s just what we want. We are free to search in earnest.¡± Stansolt Gaomat went to work tapping walls, stomping on floors, pulling books out of the shelves, forcing statues to pivot, and similar operations, all with swiftness and confidence that implied he had done so before. Takki and the grooms imitated him less adroitly, while Dirant left for a moment to gather up Onzalkarnd and Silfour to help inside.


    ¡°Hey, that painting was reported stolen from a gallery in Swadvanchdeu,¡± Silfour noted when he entered. ¡°And that one''s from Sedoglai Dolinyan. I don''t remember anything about a reward, but likely there is one. Are all of these objects stolen, do you think?¡±


    ¡°Probably so. The floor tiles are however an original.¡± Dirant warned them about the ritual and, more than that, decided to disfigure the composition, since he was by then sure that either Banviai Bantas deserved the property damage or else he had already been put out of the way by some scoundrel and would not mind a little tile removal. If he was alive at all, though Dirant hated to contemplate that possibility and its implications for Audnauj''s current condition.


    The house, while long when viewed from the front, hewed to the teachings of modesty as far as height and depth. With two floors and only a few rooms between the front and rear, a thorough search took not quite so long as might have been feared. On the other hand, Stansolt Gaomat alone had practice in thorough searches and needed to cover the entire house on his own. So he did.


    First he found a stairway behind a door designed to be difficult to distinguish from a simple closet wall which gave access to a hidden basement. Next, hoarding all the accomplishments available, much like one of the goslikenar performers who raised such objections when playwrights attempted to add more singers to the cast, he discovered a panel in the basement floor through which the rescue party passed to find not a second basement or a cubby for storing pickled vegetables, but rather a tunnel kept nearly as immaculate as the house above.


    ¡°It''s even been dusted, possibly within the week. The month at least. And look at these niches! They''re placed at regular intervals and have lanterns in them and these other things. What are they? Ah, if they aren''t smoke bombs like the ones that henchman wasted, I''ll be very surprised.¡± Silapobezor was having the time of his Explorer life, and Dirant felt heartened as well.


    ¡°This new evidence supports the idea Lord Audnauj was transported away from the house before we found it and not simply, well, done away with.¡±


    ¡°I do hope you''re right,¡± Onzalkarnd said.

 33. A Chase!

    Or, The End Of The Affair


    The rescuers were able to advance down the tunnel two abreast with room on the sides. As commodious as it may have been in that dimension, Silapobezor and Onzalkarnd both needed to duck, Dirant did the same out of an abundance of caution, Stansolt refrained from jumping, and the others suffered no inconvenience on account of that particular issue.


    The provided lanterns did good work, and if the owners wanted to complain about their tools being taken without permission, the trespassers could respond with similar complaints about their Dvanjchtliv nobleman. The tunnel led in the direction of the town according to people who claimed to have a good sense for that sort of thing. It extended far beyond the house according to a partially overlapping group, far enough that Dirant was starting to consider what measures he might take to catch up to the convoy with his borrowed Silfour and Stansolt when the destination at last presented itself.


    A vast and enigmatic chamber was the destination, a warehouse if it had been less decorated, filled with objets d''art and crates that likely contained more, not to mention racks of weapons, blueprints of various robbable buildings tacked to walls and pillars, and overstuffed folders on tables and in cabinets lined up against the walls or standing free and proud on the floor. The searchers crept to the opening, which did not sit on the floor as might be expected but rather terminated rather high in the air. A ladder offered a gentle way down even if another option was available to the daring. From there they were able to see a painting that was no portrait or landscape of the common type.


    It appeared to be a reproduction of a report filed by the law enforcement officials of Yean Defiafi that consisted of a picture of the criminal exploded to marvelous size accompanied by a list of a few of his misdeeds. Robbery, kidnapping, causing public disturbances, fraud, conspiracy to commit fraud, conspiracy to bribe public officials to escape conviction for fraud. Those and more made up the misdeeds of internationally notorious criminal Glainai Gabas. And there, beneath the unrepentant face of Glainai Gabas, stood Glainai Gabas.


    Any regular Defiafi could have stood in for him as far as his blue jacket, brown hair made straight by some product, and understated mustache, but few if any had the wherewithal to mimic his bearing which informed everyone that he knew he could accomplish anything he wanted and would reject any suggestion he should not. An actor would have put on his best sneer for the role, but Glainai Gabas''s pure smile came only from the very heart of men sure they were doing nothing wrong. The man he was addressing often had a similar expression, but not then.


    ¡°I concede this must all seem a great misfortune to you now, Lord Audnauj Olzenchipt Stavripdeu Blawraj, but don''t you sometimes find you appreciate hardship more than gladder times later on, when you look back on both of an idle afternoon? I envy you wholly, since right now is a glad time indeed for me.¡± He spoke in precise Dvanj that might cause a native speaker to recall his tutor''s lessons and blush at the carelessness with which he wielded his own language as an adult. ¡°Dvanjchtlivs, whether from Chtrebliseu, Redrin, Noiswawau, or Swadvanchdeu where is the Dvan Plateau itself, are my favorite people. For a good reason, I contend. They will never, not once in the many times I pulled off this scheme, admit to having been kidnapped. Not during their captivity, not after the ransom is paid, and not on their deathbeds. Without the victim''s cooperation, what can the janitors of the law do? No, there''s no better job than to kidnap a Dvanjchtliv noble. For that I feel such warmth for you that I won''t seek redress for the way you looked at my most intimate friend, Miss Desonn. The opposite! I will remove you to a secure location while I prepare the ransom demand. We will all be relieved to know you to be safe, and don''t be afraid the magnitude of the ransom will understate your aristocratic value. Guide him thither, my fine rapscallions.¡± He gestured to his two thugs at his side, who began to steer Audnauj toward another tunnel.


    Of course his rescuers had not stayed still during that monologue, but since they wanted to keep their movements as quiet as possible to avoid alarming the criminals, caution necessarily limited their speed. Afraid that he would lose sight of his lord before the group made it to the far side, Onzalkarnd produced Audnauj''s saber which he had been carrying in the hope of reuniting it with its owner at the first opportunity and with a shout launched it to land with Picker-appropriate selectiveness in the kidnapping victim''s hands.


    Though bound at the wrists, Audnauj''s fingers closed around the hilt and the thugs suffered for it. He slashed both of them while they were still amazed by a development so unfriendly to their interests and kept slashing until both fell to the ground according to the invariable custom of Small Fry. Audnauj turned to Glainai Gabas himself next, and since nothing he said could be understood because of the gag in his mouth, the rescuers were free to imagine as eloquent and fiery a speech as they wished.


    ¡°Won''t this battle end before we get there?¡± Takki asked while she ran.


    ¡°I''m afraid it will,¡± Onzalkarnd replied. ¡°Lord Audnauj''s class is Jobber, you see.¡±


    ¡°Oh!¡±


    Bad news indeed. Jobbers possessed unparalleled might against opponents who did not matter, but Glainai Gabas mattered if anyone did. He raised his cane and tapped a button that caused it to extend, and with that he poked Audnauj in the stomach and smacked him on the crown. Audnauj fell, not dead or even unconscious but nevertheless unable to prevent Gabas from escaping through a secret passage behind a tall clock he caused to swing aside.


    Audnauj made it back up without help, freeing the rescuers to ask if he was unharmed aside from the cane thing, remove his gag and bonds, and smash the clock apart with brute Battler strength. ¡°We all would have preferred to find the mechanism, but we''re in a hurry, aren''t we? Oh, I got a Clock Smasher ability I didn''t know about.¡± Takki charged through. ¡°What are these?¡± she yelled back. The area behind the clock, the slower rescuers and Audnauj discovered, was a depot for four-wheeled vehicles which evidently rolled on lengths of wooden planks that stretched far in two directions.


    ¡°These are carts used in mining operations,¡± the well-traveled Silapobezor informed them. ¡°He''s alone, so he must be going downhill. This way!¡± He removed a block under the wheels of a cart, pushed it till it got rolling, and jumped in. Stansolt hopped in with him. Dirant took the next and was joined by the two grooms, and as he looked behind he saw Audnauj, Onzalkarnd, and Takki mobilize a third.


    The little car rolled down the tunnel, the second out of zero Dirant had expected to navigate over the entire course of his life. His lantern illuminated craggy walls sometimes broken by side passages. Those had planked tracks as well, and Dirant began to doubt they had a chance to catch Glainai Gabas. The criminal could turn off the main path in several places and they would never know. Then he realized something.


    Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    ¡°So long as Lord Audnauj is safe, it is nothing to me if Glainai Gabas is caught. Why am I pursuing him? Underground, in the dark, in an ore hauler? Dvanjchtliv nonsense has swept me away.¡±


    ¡°The history of Redrin in one sentence,¡± Eyanya consoled him.


    When the carts rolled in to a depot past which the tunnel slanted upward, the pursuers admitted Glainai Gabas had evaded them. ¡°I''m sorry about that. The rogue deserves worse and the unsuspecting people he''ll go after deserve better. Nothing for it, though. I have something more important to say.¡± Audnauj went on to thank his saviors both as a group and individually, listen while they protested it was nothing, and finally assure them he was very aware what a something it was. After all, he had almost been kidnapped.


    ¡°I think we must conclude you were kidnapped,¡± Dirant told him.


    ¡°No ransom was paid. Therefore, I wasn''t kidnapped yet. But I almost was.¡± As specious as Audnauj''s argument sounded, Dirant unconsciously recreated countless scenes from Redrin history by deciding not to bother arguing with a Dvanjchtliv aristocrat.


    That done, the group, outmaneuvered by the villain yet mostly unconcerned about it, found a ladder that promised to facilitate upward progress. It in fact returned them all the way to the surface and ended in a room that looked far less like a criminal lair than the underground vault where Audnauj had been held. Instead of aids to and profits from skulduggery, blocks of stone the size of a man or bigger were scattered around. The front parts of horses projected from some of them as if the animals were leaping out of some primordial mass as the gods shaped it into all the creatures of the world, its beasts and its birds and its fish.


    ¡°This is her studio. I mean Desonn Sheglei''s.¡± Audnauj reported that in too morose a voice for anyone not to wish he was wrong in his suspicion as to her complicity in the plot. Granted that for the rest of them, ¡°immediate certainty¡± described the situation better than ¡°suspicion,¡± but still.


    There was nothing else to do that night except try to alert law enforcement, fail because they kept regular hours there in Yean Defiafi, and separate. ¡°I''ve got to shop around for another sculptor now.¡± Audnauj sighed, but not over that. And not over Desonn Sheglei, either. ¡°I hate to go on with only my servants. They''ll be just as terrible . . . ly helpful as always, but variety in the company one keeps, you know. And everything else. Cuisine and so on. Clocks.¡±


    Taught by experience that the Yumin problem was insuperable until Audnauj was willing to stoop to the deceit of pretending to study a language he already knew, Dirant made what he could of the situation based on his own interests. ¡°No sentiment could tend more toward human flourishing, Lord Audnauj. It''s a shame therefore that even such a trustworthy outfit as Stadeskosken, quick and reliable like an otter, is forbidden from operating in Redrin except through local intermediaries. And those transactions are subject to strict scrutiny, no less.¡±


    ¡°You may be right at that.¡±


    Dirant saw the dispirited Audnauj off and wished him success in his affairs. Next he sent his company men off with assurances he would be sure to tell Silapobenk how satisfactory their performance had been.


    ¡°The troublesome part will be to do so without facetiousness. Worse, it is Mr. Silapobenk''s perception of facetiousness that counts, and you must understand our long acquaintance will bias him toward certain interpretations.¡±


    ¡°It''s simple, Mr. Dirant. Start off with your report, then become facetious later. The change in tone will be evident then.¡±


    ¡°That seems to me a most promising approach, Mr. Stansolt. I will attempt it. Good night.¡± The two soon-to-be-former subordinates left for their own lodgings while Dirant headed for Silone''s, accompanied by a young woman aglow with the joy of another mystery solved. Being a gentleman, he did not neglect speaking to her while they walked.


    ¡°I''m prevented from saying you did a good job by the fact that you are not an employee of Stadeskosken. It would sound condescending. I must instead thank you for the privilege of your company.¡±


    Takki managed a moving curtsy, a thing effortlessly accomplished though rarely practiced because unnecessary in most social settings. ¡°Thank you for inviting me. Now excuse me, please, but what was that about otters? Are they the byword in Kitslof for swiftness and reliability? I don''t think they have that kind of reputation back home.¡± Takki had a bounce both in her step and her voice as she asked.


    ¡°If they are, it is only by association with Stadeskosken.¡± Dirant glanced at her as he often did and saw a blank look. ¡°Stadeskosken. Otter Goods.¡±


    Takki converted her next bounce into a genuine hop. ¡°I learned Adaban (Fluent) just now! And because of otters! Otter Goods!¡± She began to laugh.


    ¡°Is it so funny as that?¡±


    ¡°Oh, I''m not behaving this way to mock you or your company. It''s just, Otter Goods? Yes. That''s it.¡± She nodded. ¡°I''ve decided. Your adult name is Ressi. Ressi Rikkelta Dirant is what you''ll go by the next time you visit Pavvu Omme Os. Dilrant would sound more local, but no, it doesn''t fit you at all.¡±


    ¡°I take it ressi means otter.¡±


    ¡°You''re fast like an otter today, Ressi.¡±


    Dirant tried to moderate his smiling that was the clear result of an infection, though with no idea how he fared in that or why Takki found otters so amusing. ¡°Is what our foremost experts say true about the etiquette of using each of the names the Jalpi Peffu have?¡±


    ¡°Oh, probably. I would have called you by your adult name before, but you didn''t have one. And the other way is impossible. Millim. I hate it.¡±


    ¡°What does it mean?¡±


    ¡°A salt mine.¡± Dirant snorted at that. ¡°Well I didn''t pick it! Other people give it to you. I can''t complain since I just burdened you with ''otter,'' but anyway, I don''t want you to call me that. Maybe it would be all right if I went by Atsa instead?¡±


    ¡°Atsa.¡±


    The bounce abandoned Atsa''s step so abruptly that she stumbled, and at the same time more than her hair turned red. She looked down, her fingers fidgeting, and in a meek voice said, ¡°I know what I just said and I don''t mean to take anything back. I really don''t. But, um, a lot of events happened today and we''re all very tired, so um . . .¡±


    It was a little late in Dirant''s opinion to pretend to be exhausted after all that hopping, but a gentleman could overlook a few details. ¡°I suppose it would be unwise for me to presume too much as to the etiquette of Pavvu Omme Os from a little reading, though I assure you the pamphlet is high quality. I suspect you intend to keep calling me Ressi though, Takki.¡±


    She collected herself and resumed skipping alongside Dirant. ¡°Oh, I do so intend, and don''t be surprised if I don''t tell anyone what it means, as a little joke.¡±


    ¡°That sounds better for me, for all that never before had I thought otters to be especially humorous. They are a noble creature full of piety, as I have discovered.¡±


    Eventually even the paths of those two diverged. Takki retired to her hotel while Dirant continued and found Silone waiting in the lobby. The boss was looking over some papers that Dirant presumed had to do with accounting until he came closer, at which point he realized they were manuscripts. ¡°Are these candidates for the publishing wing?¡±


    ¡°They were before I read them. Well?¡±


    Dirant checked to make sure he was standing straight like a man who respected others and deserved to be respected in return. ¡°In cooperation with Lord Audnauj''s retinue and Millim Takki Atsa, we rescued him from an attempted kidnapping. He insists on the ''attempted'' modifier. The subordinates you assigned to me both performed vital roles.¡±


    ¡°Excellent. Did you?¡±


    Dirant saw his chance to put Stansolt''s recommendation to the test. He slouched a bit and dropped the precise Kitslof enunciation he had used for the first part of the report in favor of a more Todelky sort of thing tinged with Hewekerisms. ¡°In the finest traditions of leadership, I did nothing. Ah, until afterward, when I drew attention to Redrin trade restrictions and their effect on Stadeskosken specifically.¡±


    ¡°As it should be. Now you must go to bed to be up in time.¡± Silone looked up at Dirtwo. ¡°If you are able to sleep.¡±


    ¡°I fear it unlikely.¡± At that, Silone engaged him in business talk sufficiently boring that all the day''s excitement was forgotten and rest seemed welcome.

 34. The Sisters Themselves

    And Yet, Does It Not Go Against Plain Observation To Presume The Western Lake Younger Because More Petite?


    Stadeskosken set out the next morning to resume its journey along the banks of the Meggi Tem, or as it was known in Yean Defiafi, the Meggi Tem. The Adabans hustled along at their best possible speed, such as it was, past the extensive waterworks of that affluent, organized country and its villages of great individual character. Sometimes, for instance, the square was placed on the edge of the village, and only occasionally was it a square. Convention meant nothing to the brazen Survyais.


    The convoy rolled into Dolbaskei in the afternoon, which disappointed the Adabans by having a normal name. ¡°Baskei''s,¡± it indicated. The name had a historical basis, as the town had grown up around a combination of stables, inn, river quay, and temple to Senbeg all owned by a fellow known as Baskei.


    ¡°But this implies temples are privately owned here. Is it so?¡± Emmeg Bolsatoken sought confirmation through a translator and, receiving it, decided to research the matter to sufficient depth for a quick travelogue entry. She had time, since Silapobenk Rikelta called a halt for the day based on the projected inability of the trade mission to reach a town equal to Dolbaskei as far as quantity of available temporary accommodations, their quality, and their price. The next day his people were to pick up and leave the Meggi Tem at last to take a straight course toward Akkagafwarrefo on the banks of the Younger Sister Lake. The Adabans were pleased to learn that akkagafwarrefo translated to ¡°let''s go swimming,¡± which was the sort of silliness they liked foreigners to provide them.


    Given a half-day off, employees drifted off to find sights to see and subsequently see them. Many followed Millim Takki Atsa and her personal interpreter, Dirant Rikelta, to investigate the rumored distortion zone. A rumor, the investigation revealed, spread by the managers of an exhibition of startling and unsettling phenomena for the interested visitor. A bottomless pit (please do not drop anything in it), animals that possessed the amazing ability to talk when a ventriloquist was around, and someone who could remember any statement perfectly, even if said in a language not known by her.


    ¡°That''s just so disappointing,¡± Takki lamented. ¡°Semka will like one of those artificial flower bracelets though, won''t she? Oh, you''ve never met my sister. She doesn''t like metal jewelry. Hey Ressi, why don''t you buy us some of those sausages?¡±


    ¡°They ought to be breaded. And aside from that, is it reasonable to phrase an unmistakable command as an opportunity for a debate?¡±


    Takki took to her tiptoes for maximum tallness. ¡°''I question the idea that anything in this world is the slightest bit reasonable.''¡±


    ¡°Was that an imitation of me? I don''t remember saying precisely that, but it does reflect a sentiment I sometimes try to suppress. I must therefore submit.¡±


    After that defeat, Dirant soon faced another when Takki said, ¡°Is there anything else for us to do here? If not, go find us a mystery.¡±


    To that he answered, saddened to disappoint but not overly so, ¡°Despite what our time together may have led us both to imagine, I''m unable to come up with an adventure on command.¡±


    ¡°Certainly so, as level 11 is the earliest time my precious Ritualists may receive the ability most relevant to the request, and by that you are correct to infer I trust you to turn a simple mission into a tangle, which ability furthermore is optional and therefore not to be acquired without effort.¡± Holzd said that and went back to salting his sausage.


    ¡°It has come to my attention that I may be capable of such a thing starting at level 11,¡± Dirant said before he composed a silent prayer. ¡°Many-plotting Holzd, my gratitude is yours for telling me about upcoming abilities for all that I hope not to be dumb enough to use them.¡± Holzd reached one long arm over and patted his priest''s head.


    Akkagafwarrefo abutted the western of the two great lakes which gave Yean Defiafi its name and most of its fish. While not so splendid as Asajvridz, it sprawled farther over the land and seemingly over the water as well because of dozens of boats, many of such a size that the Adabans expected to see their like only in paintings of seas and oceans. Far out in the distance, those vessels combined with more from other towns to form a megalopolis floating on the grain-free fields.


    Only a couple days away from the capital, the Stadeskosken employees felt the imminent end of their journey that had the aspect of a vacation despite all the box-moving and smiling salesmanship they were required to perform. Every map they tried to consult concurred that they had a trip of almost two weeks back to Fennizen ahead of them, one comparatively free from labor, but they knew already that would feel like a return to the office rather than travel abroad. Moreover, Silapobenk Rikelta would attempt to rush them even faster once the convoy no longer needed to stay in certain locations during certain market periods. Many rented boats or went swimming as the town''s name suggested to be able to say to their friends and family back home they had conquered the largest lake on the continent, the one next to it excepted, and that one in Chtrebliseu, and maybe Etimastizen in Beriskirofen.


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    ¡°Etimastizen is smaller,¡± Silapobezor assured them.


    Nothing much of interest besides the lake was suggested to tourists by either the Adaban and Usse travel memoirs they had checked beforehand or by the locals, who insisted upon their town''s mundane nature in contrast with Dolbaskei''s peddlers of oddities. They considered themselves regular folk who worked, played, and discussed the latest news about a construction accident the king had needed to go frown at, the start of an anti-piracy campaign in the southwest, a production of Sighs of Russet complicated by sudden illness on the part of the lead actress, and the donation by Judge Dolityu Bars of his art collection to his city as a result of being without children he cared to remember. As the name indicated, Akkagafwarrefo wanted its residents and visitors to relax.


    Another group of visitors arrived, this one a decent-sized entourage accompanying a Redrin noble. The natives thought it unusual to have two rather large groups of foreigners arrive on the same day and amused themselves by pairing them up in their minds. ¡°Gentlemen, are those not your friends, those travelers from Redrin with its unenviable borders? You must go meet your friends!¡± Then they laughed until Dirant thanked them for telling him and did what they advised. That made them laugh even more, if with a different timbre.


    Perhaps other Redrin lords were making themselves busy in Yean Defiafi at the time, but the newcomer was indeed Audnauj Olzenchipt Stavripdeu Blawraj. ¡°I settled on a sculptor at last and hurried on. He has quite a reputation. No horse-work in his portfolio though, so of course he needed some instruction on musculature and such. Good job we had horses with us.¡±


    Dirant looked at the grooms. ¡°Good job, guys.¡±


    ¡°Thanks, Dirant.¡±


    The narrator continued. ¡°The key was that he paid attention. Some of those artists, it was human subjects or nothing for them. Do you run into that problem in Grenlof?¡±


    ¡°Our sculptors, so far as I know, care for nothing but being paid on time.¡±


    Audnauj used his knife to salute in the general direction of the GE before it went back to his shallow dish of dumplings in hot soup. Everyone needed a break from fish sometimes. ¡°That''s how it ought to be done, in my opinion. So how are you Adabans doing?¡±


    ¡°Well. Our last stop is the capital, and then, home we go.¡±


    ¡°Now that''s a phrase I''d like to be able to say. All this trouble and I''ve scarcely started. That eardron stuff.¡± Concern drove him to a frown, though it was concern over some escaped dumpling filling. ¡°That reminds me. Do you know how they categorize eardron? I didn''t until recently. They rate each individual hue separately as far as luster and impurities by using bells and things to bring them out. Painstaking stuff. It keeps changing, is the problem. Seems the company handling our order has one Picker who has this ability that stops that from happening. Didn''t you say something about that to Onzalkarnd before? Edition Freeze, I think? I wasn''t sure it was a real thing back then. Never know what an Adaban thinks is funny.¡±


    Dirant realized then that the gods did reward good deeds just as stories meant for children claimed, at least the ones children generally disliked. There he was, no real angles on finding a Picker with Edition Freeze, and the man he saved from kidnapping told him all about it. Then he reflected that the only reason he wanted to find one was to help out another Ritualist and wondered who was doing which deeds that were being rewarded in what way when. Maybe his reward was still coming. Encouraged, he inquired further with a view toward meeting the Picker and getting him to do, well, something. Certain details remained to complicate the matter, but second comes second if it comes at all.


    ¡°That will be welcome news to a colleague of mine,¡± Dirant said. ¡°Are you free to tell me the Picker''s name and location, or?¡±


    ¡°I''m not entirely sure about either. How about this.¡± Audnauj leaned forward, an action which incurred a risk of dipping an elbow in the soup. ¡°Why shouldn''t you come along with us to the Lesser? Lots of reasons I suppose, but what I mean is, that problem we discussed. It''s gotten worse than ever. I may not be entirely faultless in bringing it on myself, but a solution is required.¡± Seeing Dirant''s hesitation, he rushed to calm his fears. ¡°There won''t be any problem as long as you don''t carry on any commerce and aren''t a spy. We''ll give you a bit of a haircut and new clothes so you can pass for a Yumin. Naturally I wouldn''t think of asking you to leave your maid behind.¡±


    The only doubts Dirant felt were that he might fail to convince Silone to keep him employed while he did it and how much entertainment he should try to mine from that maid bit. ¡°Though I''m eager to accept, my yoke isn''t so light. I must take this proposal to my superior. And my maid, who isn''t contracted for so long a trip.¡±


    ¡°I wish you would.¡±


    He did, and Silapobenk evinced some interest in the endeavor. He settled back and asked, ¡°What is your plan?¡±


    ¡°Lord Audnauj at least is convinced that this current assignment is in the nature of a test to determine if he can be entrusted with real responsibility. Provided he is . . .¡± Dirant shrugged. ¡°He must be kept out of trouble, and already that is too much. If I clean up any trouble before it becomes an authentic problem and preserve his reputation, we will have at least an approachable contact in Swachtipl. That is the extent of what I dare claim. Is it sufficient, or?¡±


    Silapobenk made some notes. ¡°It''s a realistic goal. Perhaps we will make you head of the department of trying to get us into Redrin when you get back. The position is open at the moment.¡±


    ¡°I understand.¡± A note of wistfulness entered Dirant''s voice. ¡°Silone, will I ever again perform rituals?¡±


    ¡°Certainly. Hobbies are important.¡±


    As for Takki, the prospect enticed her except for one point. ¡°Is that really the impression I give? A maid?¡±


    ¡°The most Lord Audnauj saw of you was when we chased after Glainai Gabas. Perhaps that is how maids behave in Redrin.¡±


    ¡°You think so? Now I really want to go.¡± It seemed everyone was agreed.

 35. The City Of Farewells

    Even The Lone Provincial Who Enters Engoyan Ifrazlim Leaves Himself There


    Even people on other continents. That night, Penneram Densos requested Dirant''s presence in a more compulsory manner than Audnauj had. ¡°Only out of necessity,¡± the senior Ritualist apologized, if that counted as an apology in his country. ¡°My Divine Guidance (Hunch) is shaking my guts up. It says you''ve accomplished something, Dirant Rikelta. Am I right to believe in it?¡±


    ¡°There is some progress.¡± Dirant summarized the situation. ¡°It ought to be simple from here to find the Picker, and as for what to do with him, we must raise the cow before we may milk it.¡±


    ¡°That''s true. I know some colleagues working to change that, but it stands for now. Think of the economic gains if they succeed. My own research has turned up something, by the way. Let me tell you about it, even if it doesn''t affect your role, because I think it''s interesting and I''m older than you.


    ¡°Our patron isn''t one to leave holy relics around, but I don''t see any reason not to make use of those left by messier gods. There is reputed to be a globe that shows the planet as it spins. I don''t mean a model, but the actual thing, clouds and all. Only recently did people realize what it was. I think that relic''s just the scabbard for this sword, the net for this fish, the witticism for this social occasion. It''s on Dosoroz and not on Egillen where the best Pickers live, so that calls for some thought about how to get the one next to the other, but there are those cows again with their milk. There isn''t much point in talking about it at all, but I needed to have some news to match yours. It doesn''t match it though, does it? That wasn''t a genuine question and you don''t have to answer.¡±


    A compliment such as that, coming from so distinguished a person, could have moved someone more impassive than Dirant. Normally the only encouragement people like him got from people like Penneram Densos was hearing they were coming along well enough, not too bad if one made allowances for the younger generation. Truly, Dirant realized, the real reward of a good deed came in getting recognized for it. That sounded a little askew morally, but it had the very moral trait of honesty to recommend it. After a short discussion of lighter matters such as the weather and whether a ritual to strengthen a tree branch might have wider industrial applications, Penneram released Dirant back to Akkagafwarrefo.


    Stadeskosken resumed its journey to Engoyan Ifrazlim the next day, as did Audnauj with his retinue, but not together. Perhaps it was the incessant rivalry both peaceful and violent between Dvanjchtliv and Adaban over mastery of the continent that prevented him from riding among the Kitslofers when even Jalpi Peffu had no hesitation in doing so, or perhaps there was a more proximate cause in Onzalkarnd''s insistence that his master avoid crowds and other kidnap-friendly environments. The spectacle of two distinct groups of foreigners might have seemed suspicious, risible, or unnerving on remoter Defiafi roads depending on the whether the spectator''s preference in fiction ran toward thrillers, comedy, or historical, but closer to the capital travelers packed the routes so densely that a few Adabans and Redrins stood out as much as hay in a haystack.


    Engoyan Ifrazlim itself was nearly as hidden. Among the countless towns and villages attached to the twin lakes like suitors swarming around the debuting daughters of society''s favorite family, the capital''s boundaries were clear only on municipal maps. Even there, old jurisdictional disputes and technicalities left the city looking like a drink spilled on a table. Or like Greater Enloffenkir for that matter. Within the city limits was more of the same, more of the polished domes that made the place seem a second sun placed on the earth and the graceful curves which reminded mankind that elegance, durability, and functionality could be considered opposed to one another by the unskilled alone. Also more of streets the residents used as impromptu warehouses that wound around rickety wooden shacks piled one atop the next which threatened to topple over and take out any bystanders who took a walk at the wrong time. The appeal of Asajvridz to the well-heeled set became clearer with every step.


    Silapobenk reported to the local official whom his paperwork designated and was informed of multiple locations where Stadeskosken might conduct its business within that sprawling metropolitan area, whereupon he and his subordinates spent a few hours choosing the site and warning Dirant not to disgrace the company while he traveled unsupervised. ¡°Unfortunate,¡± the convoy''s boss said. ¡°I lose two of my people here. I''ve been instructed to allow Stansolt Gaomat to depart on some confidential errand. I count on you both to do something useful.¡±


    Silone appeared to be mystified as to the reason behind his instructions regarding Stansolt. Perceiving that, Dirtwo and Silfour exchanged communicative looks. Did Haderslant have his own underhanded plan, or had the Kitslof government made a request? Perhaps Sivoslof itself had some influence on the matter, and soon some lucrative contract from there would enrich Stadeskosken yet more. Neither gave voice to those theories, however. Silone could ask if he wanted their opinion.


    His last duty in Yean Defiafi done, Dirant took his leave from the trade mission with plenty of handshakes and well-wishing. Stansolt Gaomat also participated, for all that certain members of the expedition surmised he would have preferred to skulk away, unseen. Millim Takki Atsa joined in despite not being an employee, simply because of the friendly atmosphere.


    One point bothered some of their co-workers. Onsalkant Stiskenhalpt held up his company-provided abridged educational material. ¡°Will you be all right in Redrin without one of these to guide you through the etiquette?¡±


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    ¡°Certainly,¡± Dirant averred. ¡°The Yumins will tell me how to behave, I will conclude they are lying and seek clarification from Lord Audnauj''s chief attendant, and so all will be well.¡±


    ¡°You''re almost as smart as your father,¡± Onsalkant praised him.


    Dirant at last walked to the rendezvous point arranged with Audnauj. He would have ridden, but his horse belonged to the company. The Redrin lord traveled with enough of those to spare one or five for a guest anyway.


    ¡°Here''s the itinerary,¡± Audnauj said when Dirant and his maid arrived. ¡°Onzalkarnd, tell them the itinerary, would you?¡±


    ¡°Certainly, my lord. We will head around the southern shore of Safsaubyai Mipyan and follow the Sijvaskinyai River east. Regrettably, none of the riverboats are equipped to handle horses, but every veteran traveler insists this is nevertheless a swifter route than riding directly to Redrin across the rough northern country, or rather southern from our current perspective. From the river we will proceed to the port of Uviuvi, where a horse transport will be awaiting my lord''s advent. That will take us to Gwin Gardalihm and home. From there we have a leisurely journey across the country to Fyalang Gardalihm where we will embark for Dwecosptichdeu in Lesser Redrin on a vessel belonging to the great Olzenchipt Stavripdeu family. Thence we head a short distance south to the Chunawm Metals facility.¡±


    Neither of the foreign addons had anything to say in the way of either complaint or improvement, and so the Redrin contingent set out that very day. Once past the city limits, probably, the newcomers learned the full significance of what Dvanjchtlivs meant by ¡°leisurely¡± when Audnauj began doing handstands on the saddle and swinging himself perpendicular to his steed.


    ¡°You may think he''s showing off.¡± Hugal came up beside Dirant and Takki.


    Eyanya caught up on the other side. ¡°But it''s worse. He just does that. It''s normal for them.¡±


    ¡°I have bad news for both of you. My time with you will not be long enough for me to stop considering what your master is doing impressive.¡± The grooms groaned at Dirant''s dispiriting revelation.


    Hugal took it hard. ¡°That is bad news. You''re probably right, which means we don''t have enough time for Master Audnauj to fall for a non-evil woman for once like we hoped would happen if Takki came along.¡±


    Dirant tried to sound sympathetic yet firm. ¡°There was never any chance of that. He had opportunities for such all his life. Has not Eyanya here been with him for over a year?¡±


    ¡°That doesn''t count,¡± Eyanya insisted. ¡°I''m the worst there is. Grr!¡±


    Hugal leaned over toward Dirant, the most daring equestrian maneuver Yumins were likely to attempt for the journey''s duration. ¡°She''s telling the truth. Once there was a call for volunteers to help Yumin immigrants from other countries acclimate to our spelling standards. One hour a day for a month they asked, but this incorrigible specimen did two hours. She couldn''t be stopped. We tried.¡±


    ¡°A terrible situation,¡± Dirant commiserated. ¡°It was right of you to try.¡±


    The grooms rode forward to check how their charge was holding up under the casual stunts of its energetic rider, giving Takki a chance to ask about what they had been discussing. ¡°I hope to get Yumin (Basic) out of this trip, after all. If you helped me with some context, that would speed things up for me.¡±


    ¡°They were, as usual, discoursing on Lord Audnauj''s terrible judgment in selecting romantic pursuits.¡±


    Takki looked forward at the carefree, innocent-faced young noble. ¡°Is it really so bad?¡±


    ¡°Yes. It must be admitted I have only the testimony of his servants as evidence and cannot of my own knowledge say anything about the ladies involved. Perhaps the wrongdoing is always on Lord Audnauj''s side. I say that only to sound fair-minded and reasonable.¡±


    ¡°So that''s how it is. But shouldn''t his family come in for some criticism? If they raised him wrong, they should at least try to cover up that sort of thing.¡±


    ¡°Is poor taste so great a fault in Pavvu Omme Os? Redrins have their own conventions when it comes to courtship, I suppose. Without a pamphlet to guide me through that dangerous terrain, I dare not attempt it.¡±


    ¡°Yes, I see that. We shouldn''t come up with theories just to make ourselves come off as more worldly than we are.¡± Takki allowed the conversation to lapse, but in the end, watching Dvanjchtliv horse tricks could not satisfy her desire for entertainment. ¡°Then tell me about courtship in Greater Enloffenkir. How do you Adabans do things?¡±


    ¡°Ah, as to that, I may perhaps offer a few words. My father allots the process the same amount of attention as ordering from a catalogue or hiring a new maid, and with that attitude he has married three times. It is different for my generation. We are not so brusque and businesslike. When I attended classes at Todelk University, the young men there ever moaned, complained, wrapped their sorrows in vines, and generally gave themselves wholly to sentiment while nothing was accomplished. I recall instead of actual courtship only failed attempts and questionable poems on the subject. You will not believe me when I tell you the milieu was such that once a girl dumped me whom I never met. I was informed of this via a third party. It was after that incident that I began to suspect the world contains only a small number of actual people. The rest are phantasms that manifest only to vex them. I realize as I say that my overriding purpose ought to be to guard against becoming one of those phantasms.¡±


    Takki nodded along. ¡°A worthy aim, but I think which are which may be subject to flux. For instance, we all know Adabans are fake, but my father in his work keeps trying to make them real.¡±


    ¡°I must thank him for that. When may I see him?¡±


    ¡°Did those pamphlets discuss the romantic customs of Pavvu Omme Os?¡± Takki was no longer looking at Audnauj, Dirant, the road, or anything in particular.


    ¡°No, and we were discouraged from inquiring further.¡±


    She relaxed a bit. ¡°Oh, how practical.¡±


    ¡°Of course, in Greater Enloffenkir,¡± he went on as if he had not noticed, ¡°before contemplating marriage, we must seek permission from the intended''s parents. That is, unless it is our objective to provide material for the romantic serials which have become so popular.¡±


    ¡°Then you were teasing me!¡±


    ¡°I was, and I consider myself justified in doing so after you began talking about courtship and so. If you disagree, I must concede immediately and offer as tribute exactly what Hugal and Eyanya said along with some clarification on points of diction and grammar so far as I understand them.¡± She accepted the concession, unjustly he thought, and while she had not learned Yumin (Basic) by the time Audnauj''s cortege reached the coast, she could be pleased that her personal translator improved to Yumin (Fluent): Literate; Adaban Accent (Moderate).

 36. Redrin The Heros Graveyard

    Wind The Horns, For Foe Or Lord, Someone Comes


    Never again in his life, Dirant presumed, would he travel at the speed he had on his holy mission to Wessolp, but riding with the Redrins came much closer than the Stadeskosken slog. The group flew around the Older Sister and rested in Mellolulyan, and from there reached Uviuvi in not quite six days against a rough estimate of nine or ten it would have required the trade mission''s wagons to trundle that distance. There Dirant and Takki had their first view of the Suvozingedyai Sea.


    ¡°It is distressingly ugly,¡± the former said.


    ¡°It wants to hurt us,¡± the latter agreed.


    The sullen gray waves visible from the hotel roof failed to delight tourists. Some hotel owners furnished their establishments with flat tops in order that their guests might look out over the surly gray waves and appreciate where they were compared to the sea they had left or soon had to endure. Often guests chose to extend their stays after a good view of that terrible sea. The Suvo or the Suvvo, as the man on the street of Greater Enloffenkir or Pavvu Omme Os referred to it when pressed to do so, had become the backdrop for innumerable sad poems and tales of exiles, murders, and hauntings.


    Still, Uviuvi offered other attractions. For instance, a select audience enjoyed the one-time spectacle of a Kitslofer getting de-Adabaned and subsequently Yuminized. People bought clothes and had their hair cut constantly without thinking to sell tickets, which proved the lack of commercial instinct possessed by the masses. The Mercantile Fundamentals ability informed Dirant too late that maybe he could have squeezed something out of the servants and Takki based on how enthusiastic they seemed about the whole thing.


    ¡°Should we call you Dirant laHaderslant from now on?¡± Takki wondered. ¡°Or can we make it more Yumin-sounding?¡±


    ¡°You have to stop pretending northern food isn''t spicy if you want to pull this off,¡± Hugal warned.


    ¡°Dirin laHaderslin?¡±


    ¡°Scrape off that smug, slightly intimidating smile and paint on a happy one like we have,¡± Eyanya advised.


    ¡°My smile is not smug,¡± Dirant protested.


    ¡°Yes it is,¡± everyone but him insisted.


    Unfortunately, the appeal was not of a sort that could be replicated and turned into a commercial venture. Perhaps liminality had something to do with it, the sense of passing from one existence to another. Or it may have been the questions raised, such as how many people would be fooled so long as he kept his Adaban-accented tongue still or whether he could be fully civilized with enough training.


    Though Dirant somehow derived less entertainment than they from the whole thing, Uviuvi served him some intellectual stimulation at the pier from the sight of horses being guided up multiple specialized gangways into the ship chartered for the short southward trip. ¡°Modern Redrin naval technology is something,¡± he observed, though not out of any knowledge on the subject. He had never seen a saltwater ship in his life. It all seemed very technical and competent to him however, much like Stadeskosken''s daily operations.


    ¡°Isn''t it?¡± Audnauj had seen a ship and even boarded one. His evident excitement stood on an informed foundation. ¡°That''s the future of the country, everyone thinks. The fleet. We''re far too easy to invade, geographically. Our battles always happen on our land. The Battle of Egror, the Battle of Bachto, the Battle of Egror Two, all those. Why shouldn''t Noiswawau ride over the border any time King Noiswawau feels like having a portrait of himself painted against a Redrin background? The next time he tries that, we''ll put on a jubilee in his own ports and send him the bill.¡± The grasp Redrin nobles had on international relations and strategy, younger sons included, reminded Dirant that the awe-inspiring martial achievements of that group were verified historical truths, something possible to forget after spending enough time in Lord Audnauj''s company.


    The time for land-based travel ended, and if anyone developed concerns about the new sea voyage, he had reason. The ominous clouds, the eager spray, the mostly Yumin crew more interested in the foibles of the latest Dvanjchtliv lord to come to its attention than in knots and yardarms; every element conspired to make Dirant worry about sinking. The true maritime experience. It was a short journey at least. With less than a day''s travel, he barely had time enough onboard to complete, in collaboration with Takki and gossip-satiated Yumins, a ranked list of Yean Defiafi place names, let alone imagine his own sea-bloated corpse as it drifted to some shore far from home or else sank to the rocky bottom. Engoyan Ifrazlim, or Doting Father, took the first spot by consensus, but a dispute broke out between adherents of Let''s Go Swimming (Akkagafwarrefo) and The Optimists (Droinasbirvi).


    Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    ¡°The historical context behind Droinasbirvi has so many twists that people would think it was fictional if there weren''t records. Aren''t you fascinated when you think about how all those people tried to get instantly rich off gold, only to end up owning land with some of the most productive iron mines on Egillen instead? It goes up and down and up again like the finest stories.¡± Millim Takki Atsa presented the case, complete with hand motions that described the undulating arc of the story.


    For all the crowd-winning theatricality deployed against him, Dirant Rikelta took up the opposed viewpoint without hesitation. ¡°Yes, and the locals are entirely convinced that story is the finest ever told, sure to win the heart of the tired traveler. They say the name of the city, grin, and wait for the question, and we are the rude ones if we refuse. It is an irksome transaction that leaves richer no one involved. Let us consider Akkagafwarrefo instead. The meaning is evident from a single look at the location, not to mention the swimmers ever in the lake as if the artist painted them there. It''s a bright, welcoming name with none of the condescension often suffered by the traveler in Yean Defiafi.¡±


    ¡°Ressi, countries don''t exist for foreigners to feel welcome in them. Wayfarers have to expect inconveniences.¡±


    ¡°I agree with that, and might think better of the name if even the residents of Droinasbirvi gained something from it. Instead, they are surrounded by the pernicious message that optimism is the particular quality of fools who thrive only through luck. Anyone from that city is destined to become a pessimist from fear of mockery.¡±


    ¡°I don''t think we should be so fast to conclude that.¡±


    ¡°Yes, and you are able to say so as a daughter of Rattap Tuik. The Droinasbirvians are less fortunate.¡±


    If neither qualified as a master debater by Pavvu Omme Os standards, the fault lay in those who decided such things and permitted the title to Evokers alone, or else in the Evoker class itself for having unreasonable requirements. What was special about 60 Coordination and 48 Verve, in the end?


    The tastes of the participants could not be reconciled, but both foreigners concurred in not giving Gwin Gardalihm a high spot when they moved on to a transcontinental version. Pretty Port? No surer sign could there have been that Yean Defiafi lay behind them. Still, names were but names. What substance did Redrin, that Yumin cake with Dvanjchtliv icing, offer the traveler?


    Wooden buildings of one to five stories that looked to have been planned as simple rectangles before necessity attached sheds and extra wings gave an impression of earthy practicality that was undone by their color schemes. Not white or red or blue or green, but all of those and more combined to form nothing the average, non-artist Adaban could interpret as patterns, historical scenes, religious symbolism, or anything else of decorative significance. The offices and warehouses along the harbor and the houses farther inland bore such disordered swatches of paint that the most plausible explanation involved a mob of people going at the thing with no plan.


    ¡°Of course we all go at it with no plan. Haven''t you ever put up a house before?¡± Eyanya looked puzzled at the question.


    ¡°Don''t act dumb,¡± Takki said as eloquently as her Yumin (Basic) learned shipboard permitted. The servants had remarked she spoke the language like someone amazed at simple magic tricks, and Dirant still had not figured out how to interpret that description. ¡°You know houses in places other look unlike that.¡±


    Hugal admitted it. ¡°I try not to hold it against them either, but it''s just natural to come together as a community to erect a home and then throw a big party where everybody paints it as fast as possible. Maybe that''s why Adabans are so tense all the time.¡±


    ¡°We know it''s why Dvanjchtlivs are. Get them into a good house party and they loosen right up.¡± Eyanya paused. ¡°You have to get them drunk first.¡±


    Dirant watched Audnauj smiling his unaffected smile as he accepted the best wishes of every official who could make time to be noticed by a lord. ¡°Truly he is more a coiled spring than a man.¡±


    Hugal, without moving his arms, raised one finger to point discreetly at Onzalkarnd. ¡°There''s one who needs a good painting.¡±


    Dirant shook his head. ¡°His rigidity is an institutional requirement. He becomes friendly and talkative as soon as Audnauj pretends to sleep in order to sneak out at night and meet shady sculptors. Ask him sometime to recite a specific passage from the Beisgaignu. He knows it. He can hold forth on any epic poem I know, which is perhaps a smaller number than it would be wise for me to admit, and recommend more to suit any taste, not only epics but historical, tragic, and comedic poems as well.¡±


    Hugal grimaced. ¡°Eyanya, we''ll never be able to find out if that''s true or not.¡±


    ¡°You''re wrong there, Hugal.¡± She mimed swiping a brush, and Hugal smiled.

 37. Wherever Goes A Lord Is There A Parade

    Not Of Those That Breath Alone, But With Him Are Comrades And Those Overcome By His Strength


    Unfortunately, Audnauj seemed disinclined to halt for a house-raising. He instead led them toward Falaymya over roads that approached those of Greater Enloffenkir in their width and regular, even paving. ¡°Have to have good internal communication,¡± Audnauj explained. ¡°Survyais and ''home'' Dvanjchtlivs aren''t polite enough to take turns invading. Hewekers either, but it''s been some years since they made a fuss. Adabans keeping them back, eh?¡±


    The emphasis he put on ¡°home¡± came as close to scorn as Dirant had ever heard in his voice. That surprised him more than hearing a foreigner distinguish Hewekers from Adabans. ¡°It is the orthodox historical interpretation that formerly the Hewekers attempted to expand eastward largely in response to pressure from the Adaban tribe to its west as we swelled in population and power. However, since the formation of Greater Enloffenkir, it is as you say. Commerce and improved infrastructure have proved superior over mere territorial control, and we never cease telling everyone so.¡±


    ¡°But you can do more of all that with more land, can''t you?¡±


    ¡°Yes, and we try to avoid reminding ourselves of that.¡±


    ¡°That''s all anyone can do, I suppose.¡±


    Aside from the home decor that challenged the eye''s patience and the marked lack of floppy hats worn outdoors, the Redrin countryside could have been confused for that around Fennizen by, for example, Penneram Densos if Dirant had the resources to teleport Ritualists to his continent. They shared a latitude plus or minus a few degrees after all, and Yumin harvest methods were indistinguishable from Adaban techniques as far as a university-educated city boy knew. There was the fact that commoners stopped and cheered when they saw Audnauj ride by, but maybe that sort of thing happened in Greater Enloffenkir too. Just not around Rikeltas. To Naolant Paslig, perhaps.


    The journey proceeded pleasurably except for some problems with Audnauj''s sore arm after hours of waving his hat to acknowledge the common people as they worked hard in the fields. The mothers bringing their children to get their first sight of a true nobleman slowed the retinue down a tad as well.


    ¡°Is every lord so . . . so . . .¡± Takki started over. She had time to rephrase during a pause for a particularly large group of kids. ¡°Do people love every lord or Lord Audnauj?¡±


    ¡°The nobles are mostly popular,¡± a page said.


    ¡°They don''t mess up enough to make us forget how much we aren''t being invaded.¡±


    ¡°They''ve cut down on ordering us to repaint our houses.¡±


    ¡°There are literacy programs. I hated learning how to read, but I don''t have to read news about invasions. That solves two problems.¡±


    The testimony of the various servants seemed convincing, though Hugal added some nuance. ¡°There are better and worse ones. Count Blawgnu is up there, and between his two sons, Master Audnauj takes the crown of opinion by a jewel or two. That isn''t a saying. I just came up with it.¡±


    ¡°Widespread literacy lets us read about places that give crowns for things,¡± Eyanya explained.


    ¡°Saueyi, right?¡± Takki evidently employed her literacy for the same purpose.


    ¡°Right. Neast too, if you can believe anything about other continents.¡± Eyanya covered her horse''s ears. ¡°I don''t think you can.¡±


    Dirant allowed his own mount to hear everything, as the truth was something to be shared, not hidden. ¡°I have been informed by a source I consider reliable, perhaps foolishly, that on another continent there lives a Ritualist who has reached the magnificent level of 50. Almost as impressive is his coat that looks like the fleeces of four separate sheep, and each is the pick of the herd.¡±


    Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.


    ¡°They always have to take it too far, these fibbers,¡± Eyanya confided to Takki in a louder voice than required for privacy.


    One day near noon the cortege arrived at a town called Yunderfinsh that combined two astonishing properties. Hugal laid them out. ¡°You can see the mountains from here.¡±


    ¡°The name, then, is not ironic.¡± Dirant switched to Adaban. ¡°It means Mountain View.¡±


    ¡°Oh, thank you, Ressi.¡±


    ¡°And I was born there. Hiya!¡± Hugal rode ahead with Onzalkarnd. The chief attendant customarily made arrangements for accommodations such as his master''s lunch by himself or with Yunay laDornsol, but the chance that familiarity might lead to discounts encouraged him to bring the groom along. As for the outcome, Dirant preferred not to think about how much money other people spent. It struck the typical Adaban as, if not quite as gauche as a Yumin house, something to be avoided without good cause, much like a Yumin house.


    Yunderfinsh had plenty of those. Too many to avoid. At least the outer coats looked solid without much in the way of flaking. ¡°We widened the streets not long ago,¡± Hugal informed the party when some commented on the good repair of the place. ¡°Half the town ended up rebuilt. The building companies looked so sad when we finished. We didn''t have to rebuild their offices, was the problem.¡±


    Eyanya frowned. ¡°Hugal, I thought you had the heart of a hero. Why didn''t you sneak around and burn them down?¡±


    ¡°I tried. Why do you think I ran away from home? To take advantage of a gullible Dvanjchtliv? I didn''t know that about the master at the time.¡±


    Seeing Audnauj''s flat expression, Dirant attempted to console him in Adaban. ¡°It''s with reason that they say familiarity is the pleasantest poison. As much as it might be wished your servants had not become so accustomed to my presence that they speak as freely as ever, think of the opportunities. I''m unsure what those are. Perhaps I can spy on them for you.¡±


    ¡°Frightfully dishonorable, but it may become advisable. Who was it who said that thing you just said?¡±


    ¡°Some goslikenar writer I think. The rest of the work escapes me.¡±


    ¡°Oh, yes, goslikenar. That''s that thing you Adabans do where it''s like real theater but nobody talks, isn''t it? A singer just belts out a plot summary for you. Our literary critics say it assuages the Adaban obsession with privacy by doing away with dialogue. The audience doesn''t feel like it''s eavesdropping that way. I''m quite interested in it myself; these actors have started to do anything they can to call attention to themselves with the most grating performances you''ve ever seen. They''re like puppies barking at everyone who passes by.¡±


    ¡°''Like real theater?'' I have something to say to your critics as well. Perhaps if they shared some of our ''obsession with privacy,'' their nobles wouldn''t be bothered by their own . . . It''s wrong of me to care so much about this.¡±


    Audnauj regained the liveliness that tended to drain out of him when Yumins started talking. ¡°You''re making me more interested than I was. Goslikenar is meant to be the dullest thing you ever saw for the dullest people on the continent, but the critics may have it all backward if it gets you all raring.¡±


    Dirant calmed down, his equanimity restored by the improvement in his companion''s mood. ¡°I never thought of myself as an advocate. There are good ones and bad ones, of course.¡±


    ¡°Of course. You hate critics? Might that be it?¡±


    ¡°That is exactly it, now that you say so. I was told that travel abroad takes you on an endless path deeper inside oneself, and all that time I never thought Redrin noblemen were the signposts.¡±


    ¡°Is that another goslikenar line?¡±


    ¡°It is.¡±


    ¡°I don''t think I like it as much. No, I''m sure I don''t.¡±


    ¡°The work as a whole is similarly inferior and correspondingly more popular.¡±


    ¡°I may need some advice when I get around to seeing one of those things. It seems fraught. Is that a fair going on?¡±


    It was, as it delighted local boy Hugal laGihnal for the rest of the retinue at last to learn. The revelation little moved Audnauj, who intended to keep to the plan of having a quick meal there and moving on until he saw his Yumins'' eyes shining with hope and their hands joined in prayer. Some of them whined a little too. ¡°A brief break then. Let''s not overdo it, shall we?¡±


    ¡°Hurray!¡± the Yumins shouted. They failed to follow up their cheer with a promise not to overdo it, a deficit which itself might be taken as a promise to the contrary. As long as they could sit in the saddle they were fine, they thought, and while the Dvanjchtlivs agreed, they ever hoped in vain for their servants to adjust their work habits in a more professional direction.


    But what had professionalism to do with a fair? As the entourage approached the fairgrounds, its members saw locals wandering around, talking, dancing, doing something about as much like singing as what went on in the vicinity of Todelk University, playing games, and trying to inveigle other locals away from the vulgar crowd, but not doing a single thing that looked professional. Even the food vendors were slacking; clumps of fairgoers waited for their chestnuts covered in some kind of cream while the sellers chatted away. ¡°Covered in some kind of cream or sauce¡± of course described most Redrin cuisine, whether a fair was going on or not.

 38. Redrin As The Natives Know It

    Will The Gods Favor More Our Revels Or Our Caracoles?


    The servants scattered into the Yunderfinsh crowds only to coalesce again when they realized they wanted to see how visitors would react to their venerable customs packed with religious and historical significance. ¡°Eep!¡± That was the response the visitors gave. ¡°Who''s poking me?¡± Though Millim Takki Atsa yelped that in Usse, they all understood exactly what she was saying, and they liked it quite a bit.


    She, Dirant, and Audnauj whirled around like dogs chasing their tails to find the source of the prodding sensation and the rustles that sounded like whispers from the next room over, possibly gossip about the listener. The longer they listened, the stronger that conviction grew, until Dirant dispelled the idea. ¡°This is a strange ritual that only bothers people. What is the meaning of it?¡±


    ¡°I don''t go to your town and ask why you do things,¡± Hugal said.


    ¡°You are welcome to do so.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± He thought about that. ¡°I don''t know the meaning of it. Something about the border between the living and the dead maybe.¡±


    ¡°Or the mundane and the divine,¡± Eyanya suggested. ¡°Look, there''s the Feast of the Gods.¡± She pointed at a simple wooden table, round to prevent favoritism, in the center of the fairgrounds. Dirant would have expected the gods to merit a grander, taller table than that one, which resembled the Zero Table where Adaban children had to sit and learn table manners until they complained about their little knees banging against the underside enough that the adults noticed how big they had gotten, just like their fathers. The Yumin ancestors however who had instituted the custom knew something forgotten by modern society about the preferences of those above, the proof of that being the merry way Holzd''s legs swung as he sat there enjoying his creamy chestnuts. He waved to his priest, who returned the gesture.


    ¡°Oh, you know someone here after all?¡± Takki asked.


    ¡°Everyone is a friend at the fair.¡±


    ¡°I wasn''t sure an Adaban would take that attitude. I''m really pleased to hear that.¡± The tone of Takki''s voice irked Dirant a bit, resembling that of a fond teacher or a Subjugator as it did, but everyone was a friend at the fair despite the liberties some took.


    Speaking of Subjugators, a bunch of people got whipped. That startled the two foreigners and even the two Dvanjchtlivs, as their high-level knowledge of Yumin practices failed to include many of the particulars. The servants explained it in a very simple way.


    ¡°You find a token in a cake and you get whipped.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Eyanya. Why do you get whipped?¡± Regardless of her poor Yumin proficiency, Takki''s complete mystification came through.


    ¡°It''s lucky. You want to get whipped.¡±


    ¡°Early on anyway,¡± Hugal elaborated. ¡°The lower the sun gets, the less you''ll like it. The whippers get a little undisciplined.¡±


    ¡°I had an idea the hubbub was growing louder. Chalked it up to getting better at ignoring the pokes though. Yipe!¡± The ingrained dignity of Audnauj Olzenchipt Stavripdeu Blawraj was such that he managed not to jump when a passing Yumin defended the honor of the ritual by poking him and fading away into the crowd. Yelps followed that pious insister upon customs wherever he went, a tribute to the effectiveness of his methods.


    Audnauj, more alert than ever, sought more intelligence on the unexpectedly hostile situation. ¡°Is that all? I mean, are there any other alarming, ahem, charming traditions that need defending against? Indulging in, rather? I''d prefer to join in wholeheartedly and wholemindedly you know, none of this hesitation the outsider quite naturally feels.¡±


    The servants appreciated his enthusiasm, and it was with regret that Hugal said, ¡°That''s an admirable stance, Master Audnauj. But it''s just a normal sort of harvest fair. Hey, it''s almost time! Aw, aw, aw, AWOOOOOOO!¡±


    A clock chimed, the outsiders were told later. They had not picked it up over the combined howling of every Yumin in Yunderfinsh from the children old enough to walk to those so old that they no longer could without frequent breaks. Hugal started in at the same time as the townsfolk, whereas Audnauj''s other servants joined in once they recognized the custom. Takki went for it as well, Dirant and Audnauj both said, ¡°Awoo,¡± rather than howling, and Onzalkarnd simply stood with his mouth open.


    ¡°When I spoke before,¡± Audnauj said when the cacophony died down, ¡°did I somehow bungle my wording? I thought the question was clear enough.¡± He looked and was genuinely uncertain. If Silone had made the exact same statement, the meaning would have been different.


    Dirant intervened before his brain had time to remind him of that. The dread that flourished within every Stadeskosken employee when Silapobenk Rikelta started asking rhetorical questions moved him. ¡°I also place whatever just happened in the category of charming traditions which ought to be included in a brief summary of health risks. And yet, suppose we were in Fennizen right now and someone dropped an idol in the river for it to be picked up by an otter. That happens too often for me to notice, and I would neglect to warn you of it.¡±


    ¡°That happens often?¡±


    This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.


    ¡°Oh, there are so many otters around there.¡± Takki''s smile when she backed Dirant up on that point resembled one a thief might have when the authorities demand to search his room after he has already moved the goods to a less conspicuous location.


    ¡°There is religious significance behind the practice,¡± Dirant hurried to explain. ¡°Perhaps it''s the same in this case, or?¡±


    ¡°I think there is.¡± Hugal, for the first time since Dirant had met him, looked abashed. ¡°I''m sorry I didn''t think to mention the hourly howling, Master Audnauj. I will strive for more comprehensive reports in the future.¡±


    ¡°As long as we all learned something. So, ah, is that it? Anything else?¡±


    ¡°No, Master Audnauj. I assure you there is not.¡± Hugal reflected. ¡°While the sun is up, anyway.¡±


    Eyanya squealed. ¡°You guys do that here?¡±


    ¡°We aren''t in the mountains just because we can see them. Real civilization rules here. Ow!¡± A man had smacked the groom in the back of the head, which might have caused a stir had not the assaulter''s visage made clear without a word spoken that he was the Gihnal in Hugal laGihnal.


    ¡°Just because the livestock know about it doesn''t mean the people do. They can''t pluck the information out through your nostrils. Idiot. Come by later.¡± Saying that, Hugal''s father bowed deeply to Lord Audnauj and backed away.


    Hugal''s embarrassment levels shot up far past the 10 he had in Small Fry. ¡°Master Audnauj. Distinguished guests. Later in the day there will be a Punishing Unction Ceremony. It''s great fun. I hope you can manage to attend.¡±


    Audnauj, Dirant, Takki, and Onzalkarnd stared at Hugal and then one another in something close to panic. Only then had they begun to realize how weird Yumins could be, and that while inside a town of them, completely surrounded. A Punishing Unction Ceremony sounded far more like a threat than great fun, and each of them called upon every last point of Discernment, Gumption, and Panache nature had furnished in a desperate scramble to contrive a way to decline.


    Dirant went first. ¡°I am sure that it is. However, I feel a professional obligation to seek out the Ritualist responsible for this unsettling ritual, not as an employee of Stadeskosken, but as a graduate of Todelk University. We have nothing like it at home. As much as I may hope otherwise, learning it, the history behind it, and any exotic methods devised by Redrin practitioners may take up the rest of the day.¡±


    ¡°Oh!¡± Takki''s eyes, till then closed in concentration, sprung open when she invented a way to piggyback on Dirant''s idea. ¡°The history of the ritual will . . . will . . . Father will want to hear it. I will go along also.¡±


    Though to view that as a betrayal would have been unjustified, Audnauj felt abandoned as his position worsened. He was neither a Ritualist nor a historian or even the child of one. Worse, the Yumins clearly expected someone to put in an appearance, and each outsider who bowed out increased the pressure on those remaining. In the end, he could devise no sure plan aside from gesturing toward the unpredictable affairs of the nobility. ¡°Granted, it sounds a thrill to participate, naturally. It''s just that so often something comes up that can''t be put off. I hope. That everything works out.¡±


    Onzalkarnd imposed upon the expectation that a chief attendant need do nothing but back up his master by not saying anything. He further depended on the fact, well supported by experience, that nobody would miss him if he slunk away after sundown. The true servant maintained and even radiated an awareness of his own dispensability.


    With Dirant and Takki sidling away from the main group and the master giving Hugal permission to see his family, the entourage disintegrated into the greater fair where each enjoyed himself as he would. Even the gods were having a good time, or at least Holzd was. Dirant wondered why it was that he alone attended the feast.


    ¡°Vision and reliability are so far divorced from each other for humans that what alone is required to prevent the former altogether is for the planet to spin a little and hide from you the sun your weak eyes require to fulfill one of their two purposes, that is, not to be expressive, but to see. They are here, all the gods whose habit is to make this world their concern, and how will you perceive them?¡± Such was the elucidation Holzd gave in response to his priest''s unspoken musings. He also used his unconventional hands to point out the fair''s Ritualist, a matron named Marilihm laSerdin. She was happy to discuss class matters with a colleague.


    ¡°The Ghostly Botherment Ritual is a favorite around this time of year, both for the customers and us. We offer packages around it. Mind you, you need helpers, but it''s up to the town to provide those, and volunteers are easy to find. The celebrants have to run around poking each other. The kids love it, especially the ones with brothers.¡±


    ¡°So many of my brothers deserve to be bothered, and yet I was given so few opportunities for it that I must now consider myself deprived.¡±


    ¡°I can well believe that, sir. I just have daughters myself, three of them, but my sister went the other direction, and she said . . .¡±


    While Marilihm had little to say about the origins and development of the rituals employed in Yumin fairs, festivals, weddings, funerals, and religious observances, her understanding of their present usage could hardly be bettered. Dirant learned about the Orange-Scented Ritual, Shared Blood Ritual, Cubed Juice Ritual, and many more. ¡°That''s what we call them. They used to have fancier names in Old Yumin, but we''re more to the point today. Who has time for obfuscation and that? Towns order the rituals they want like menu items at a restaurant. Some of us call it a degradation of the art, but I don''t hold to any grumbling. My dear grandmother told me a lot of rituals went unused because nobody knew their names or that they even existed, so how could anyone ask for them? Losing a little of the mystery around my rituals so long as I get to do them is a trade I''ll take fifteen days out of the week.¡±


    Dirant had never agreed more with anyone, not even when Silthree declared that Below a Certain Point was getting stale. ¡°Public awareness is perhaps the most salient impediment faced by our class, more than our woeful inability in combat. How many people experience a crying need to have a tree branch strengthened for a short time and will never realize there is a solution?¡±


    Marilihm laughed. ¡°Somebody came up with a ritual for that? Oh, you really do get on, you foreign Ritualists.¡± She swapped rituals with Dirant according to the collegial tradition of their class, and if Takki got nothing out of it, at least she was free of the perilous Punishing Unction Ceremony.


    As grateful as she was for that, the conversation did not absorb her interest. While the Ritualists compared compensation, which for an itinerant Redrin ceremonialist consisted primarily of room and board as opposed to the company man''s salary, she was observing the crowd. Something she saw compelled her to shake Dirant''s sleeve.


    ¡°Ressi. I don''t want to interrupt, but isn''t that Lord Audnauj sneaking off by himself?¡±


    ¡°Pardon me a moment.¡± Dirant''s eyes confirmed what Takki was seeing, which would have been unremarkable except for the particular nobleman involved. ¡°That is worrying,¡± he commented in Usse, and disengaged from Ritualist chat with compliments on both sides in order that he might get to spying.

 39. The Need To Be Nosy

    A Third Of These Graves Were Dug By Errors, And Half Those Made By Others Than Who Fill Them


    ¡°We don''t interfere unless we have to, right? If this is his scheme to get out of Yumin traditions, we should support him,¡± Takki whispered. Dirant nodded.


    ¡°By giving him a course in scoundrelry. Or would that be poor payment for the hospitality of the Yumins? No, we must interfere to the least degree our consciences allow.¡±


    ¡°Ressi, I know you''re babbling because you''re worried, but you don''t have to.¡± Her gentle warning retrieved Dirant from the land of nonsense.


    Though neither Battlers nor Ritualists had any abilities related to tracking, they managed to keep up with a Jobber whose sole precaution was to look from side to side as he walked. Not to mention that Audnauj did that not to catch furtive pursuers but rather as part of the military science drilled into him from childhood during an education appropriate for a scion of the warrior aristocracy. Always scan the horizon ahead and to the sides for enemies while trusting the men at your back was how he did things, which worked much better when riding to meet Obeneutian pillagers than when sneaking away from the fair.


    Yunderfinsh maintained a wood nearby as a ready supply of lumber for garish houses. Paths ran through it, plantings were regulated, and cuttings were yet more regulated for the benefit of the town, or at least the people able to bend the relevant policies to their advantage. On a normal day there were Yunderfinshers working in or passing through that leafy district, but during the fair nobody could be seen aside from Audnauj, his stalkers, and a woman.


    A Survyai women dressed in keeping with the strain of dangerous modesty popular in Yean Defiafi, though against current fashion she allowed her blonde hair to fall in ringlets rather than hiding its slight curliness. One look at her posture brimming with impatience and her mocking smile and anyone sensible would place her in the category of ¡°people to get to know better when I get tired of not having problems.¡± Takki mimed a hammer and chisel, and Dirant nodded. That had to be Desonn Sheglei, the famous horse-sculptor and crime-lover.


    ¡°I''m so glad you came after what that terrible Glainai Gabas tried to do,¡± Sheglei said or perhaps expelled. ¡°I never knew him to be such a villain as he is. Why, he told me that I would be found guilty if I went back to my lovely home, as if I had assisted in his foul plot!¡±


    ¡°You didn''t?¡± Audnauj asked. ¡°I had come to believe, well, the whole thing was suspicious. Very confusing, too, overall.¡±


    Sheglei nodded, an act which for her somehow required the entire body. ¡°That''s just the word for it. Confusing. Puzzling, even! Positively enigmatic, but what really matters is that I''m so very sorry about not completing your statue. Oh, but that''s the Colorist in me coming out! I shouldn''t be thinking only of that when there''s so much else: your revenge, my situation . . . our future . . .¡± She had been stepping forward all throughout that speech, which might have been intensely interesting for all Takki and Dirant knew. She understood none of it, and he had gotten lost long ago with his Desurvyai (Basic) and interest in other matters. Still, he was able to give his partner the gist of it.


    ¡°She''s lying,¡± he translated.


    Takki nodded, readied her halberd, and raised her voice to say in Adaban, ¡°If this is a private assignation, what are those thugs doing behind those trees?¡±


    Audnauj drew his saber forthwith. In response, the men Takki had identified grabbed their nets and ran away pell-mell, the seven of them far too aware of their chances against members of more elite classes. Desonn Sheglei joined them, yelling as she went, ¡°I could have talked my way out of that, you goats!¡±


    After Dirant related that incriminating statement, Takki asked, ¡°Do you think she could have, Ressi?¡±


    ¡°No. Her mistaken conception comes from presuming we are Lord Audnauj''s underlings. It''s my fault for being dressed this way.¡± He picked at his gray jacket.


    ¡°It''s a good thing you came, however you''re dressed.¡± Audnauj trotted over. ¡°Could have been trouble. I received a message, but what are you two doing here? Something . . . private?¡± His eyebrows raised as he looked back and forth.


    ¡°We came to fetch you, Lord Audnauj,¡± Takki said with a bright smile.


    ¡°It is so. The Punishing Unction Ceremony no doubt is soon to begin, and though we lack details, it may be something most desirable for you to undergo after all.¡±


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    ¡°You think so? Well, let''s be going then!¡± Audnauj ambled back to the site of the fair with a friendly hand on each shoulder.


    The Punishing Unction Ceremony met their expectations and gave Audnauj what he needed, which was to be rolled around in a shallow pool of oil (ritually enhanced for extra odor) by Yumins who refused to let him out until he admitted how stupid he was. Dirant had attended the smellification ritual and learned the class ability Ritual Revelation, which warned him when someone else completed a ritual nearby. The meaning of ¡°nearby'' depended on the specific ritual, as demonstrated when he could barely sense the completion of that one despite being right there.


    Every participant in the ceremony confessed to some flaw or other, and there was a competitive aspect in striving to reach the appropriate level of contrition in the fastest time without coming off as insincere. Once released, the penitent received a quick, firm massage to work that oil in. Very firm, especially for suspected fakers. Audnauj''s habitual sincerity prevented any problems in that stage of the proceedings.


    ¡°See? Everybody loves it,¡± said a conspicuously oily Hugal. ¡°Which of you wants to go next?¡±


    Dirant resisted the allure. ¡°There is no need. I have eight brothers, many failings to regret, and there is much mud in my home city because of the river.¡± The Yumins accepted that explanation with wise nods and some commiseration.


    Takki began to show signs of panic when they turned to her. Although the relevant pamphlet said nothing on this point, Dirant conjectured from his travels among the immaculate towns of Pavvu Omme Os that the Jalpi Peffu rated cleanliness highly among the virtues. Therefore he was already devising excuses before she shook his sleeve and gave him a look that said ¡°help¡± in any language either of them knew.


    ¡°Unfortunately, my associate here still struggles with the language. Her honest admissions of fault are liable to be misinterpreted. Perhaps it is better to wait until she has advanced her studies further.¡±


    ¡°Sounds sensible,¡± one of the Yumins said.


    ¡°Yeah, we''ll think she''s being honest when she isn''t.¡±


    ¡°Accidental cheating is what that is. Deception without malice. Can''t be tolerated in a fair, not at all.¡±


    The Yumins settled for dragging a mill operator over and throwing him in, which he doubtlessly deserved.


    The travelers rose late the next day for understandable reasons. So did everyone else in town for reasons identically understandable. Audnauj and his cortege, after enjoying eggs soaked in some kind of mild hot sauce for breakfast, set out in the direction of the Yehg Sirrir. The fact that Redrins thought that was an acceptable name for a river was the second-worst thing Dirant knew about them, the first being Yumin fairs. They would follow that to the Arch Sea, a body of water which Redrin, Greater Enloffenkir, Noiswawau, and Drastlif, the countries that bordered said body of water, all agreed in calling it that in their various languages.


    The Yunderfinshers bowed to Lord Audnauj Olzenchipt Stavripdeu Blawraj with as much respect as was in other countries reserved for someone who had not been rolled around in oil, which helped dispel any suspicion on the part of the non-Yumins that they had been subjected to an elaborate practical joke the day before rather than a long-standing tradition. Some doubt remained, though. Perhaps it was a town of excellent actors.


    Audnauj, who preferred to think the best of people but realized there were limits, even if he placed those limits in the wrong places as a matter of course, sought to assure himself of their innocence in this respect by bringing up the subject in a clever, indirect fashion. ¡°So, uh, does it happen often? That sort of thing? You know, with the . . . everything?¡±


    ¡°Every year,¡± Hugal affirmed. ¡°But Master Audnauj, if you''ve taken an interest, every town has its own twists on the basic idea. You could spend all your time touring fairs. Everyone would be happy to see you.¡±


    ¡°No, I don''t think so. I have the eardron to look into, and besides that, I''d hate to have my presence make the common people self-conscious.¡± Audnauj frowned. ¡°Admittedly, recent events convinced me the effect there may be a tad more muted than I feared, but there''s still something to it, eh?¡±


    ¡°Understood, Master Audnauj.¡± Hugal dropped back from the lead and into Yumin as he addressed the other servants. ¡°I''m starting to get this impression that the fair shook up the people. Any of you livestock feel the same?¡±


    ¡°So it isn''t just me.¡±


    ¡°I don''t get it either.¡±


    ¡°We have some unbiased observers.¡± Eyanya jerked her head toward Dirant and Takki. ¡°Ask them.¡±


    ¡°Sure.¡± He waved them over. ¡°How do you guys do things? I mean as far as stuff.¡±


    ¡°He wanted to be vaguer of course, but we need to teach you some valuable words,¡± Eyanya told Takki.


    ¡°I''m thankful. One thing that we do in Pavvu Omme Os is we all bring dishes that are not the same. That way we can eat things that are not the same.¡±


    Dirant went next. ¡°That''s a classic in the GE as well. Also we often invite a guest to deliver a short speech. Attendees pay extra to sit with the speaker at dinner. A variant is to invite poets or singers to perform who are both popular and within the budget.¡±


    Takki wiggled her index finger up and down in a gesture that evidently meant something different for Jalpi Peffu than it did for Adabans, which was nothing. ¡°That''s good. My father does those many times each year. Another history thing is that we dress up in old costume and do again an old event that happened.¡±


    Dirant followed up on that, and if the Yumins were only becoming more perplexed about what foreigners considered a good time, they ought not to have asked. ¡°Ah, we wear masks for that rather than the raiment of yore. Often professionals conduct the reenactment these days in a practice that is widely decried. It denies the young a chance to gain a moral education by their participation, according to people forced to do it in their youths. By the way, you have not yet told them of your debates.¡±


    ¡°Will you help me? The words are hard to get right.¡± The pair inflicted on the Yumins an account of the spectacular confrontation in Mosso Eksu between Luas Taikko Hinmi and Eksu Pui Hikku and refused to relent in the face of frowns, yawns, tears, and the time one of them almost fell out of the saddle before Hugal propped him up.

 40. A Symposium On Freedom

    Every Man Has His Sphere And Every Sphere Its Duties


    ¡°That was one of ours,¡± Takki concluded. ¡°How do you handle debates in Redrin?¡±


    ¡°Drunkenly,¡± half the servants responded.


    ¡°Angrily,¡± said the other half.


    ¡°Oh? Don''t you have trouble reaching sound conclusions that way?¡±


    ¡°Now that you mention it . . .¡± Hugal pretended to look thoughtful.


    The man who managed to stay mounted against all odds gave the serious answer. ¡°Our conclusions don''t matter. The Dvanjchtlivs never ask us if they should defend us from other Dvanjchtlivs. They just do it.¡±


    ¡°You do have other subjects to debate though, right?¡± Takki''s eloquence in Yumin was increasing rapidly, Dirant noticed.


    ¡°Right,¡± Eyanya affirmed. ¡°For instance, your uncle once saw two Dvanjchtlivan children drowning in a lake. He dived in to save them but only one of them lived. Sad, but! It turned out they were the sons of a baron, and since the dead one was his heir he didn''t like, he thought of it as a pheasant falling into a pot. Your uncle became rich because of that baron''s favor and his own wits, but as lucky as he was in business, love has its own rules. At last he died without issue and is leaving everything to you, but with the condition that you have to leave Redrin and live somewhere else. On Egillen, by the way. Where you do put up your house?¡±


    ¡°That is important.¡± Hugal thought hard. ¡°I''m rich enough to hire private tutors and interpreters, right?¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡±


    The servants fell to discussing the matter. Noiswawau and Swadvanchdeu were right out, but perhaps the Dvanjchtlivs of Chtrebliseu were more bearable. There was some doubt whether one even could emigrate to Ililesh Ashurin or if the only method of entry was to be captured by smugglers and put to work for years before breaking free and winning one''s fortune, like in the book.


    Dirant had his own doubts. Not on that point though. ¡°Immigration is possible, though you will find the residents clannish and untrusting of outsiders. Ah, and what I must ask is, am I also from Redrin in this hypothetical?¡±


    Takki chided him. ¡°Of course not, Ressi. Obviously your uncle went abroad and had this Redrin adventure, which is why he insists you go abroad. And don''t try to get out of it by picking Wessolp.¡±


    ¡°I never contemplated that for a moment.¡± A more honest assurance he had never given.


    ¡°Or anywhere else in Greater Enloffenkir. Or Beriskirofen, Egilof, or Tabiligdum, either.¡±


    ¡°I did contemplate those options.¡± At Dirant''s confession, all the Yumins praised Takki for adroitly closing the door on Adaban trickery. They moved on to eliminate Obeneut, Pavvu Istis, and Pavvu Omme Os as lands unfit for man, woman, or beast of the common type where only the strongest could live, let alone thrive.


    ¡°They are not,¡± protested the Battler. The Yumins eyed her halberd and ignored her claim.


    Saueyi of course was a country defined by fighting coastal raiders and irksome neighbors nonstop and therefore not to be considered. Yean Defiafi would have been a popular choice but for the refusal of anyone to believe his uncle could be that rich. Drastlif was reputed to be similar in prosperity but less in extravagance, except when it came to cheeses, and for those reasons won the majority of the Yumin vote in the end, though some of the maids had heard Stegzi was a country of gentlemen and wanted to investigate that for themselves.


    The Adaban vote probably would have gone to Chtrebliseu if not concentrated in the person of Dirant Rikelta. He reflected on his experiences in Yean Defiafi and Redrin, observed the excited Redrins around him, remembered none of them had so much as suggested Kitslof, and gave the inevitable answer. ¡°Pavvu Omme Os for me, I think.¡±


    ¡°Young men always want to think they''re tough,¡± Eyanya opined.


    Hugal corrected her. ¡°You''re wrong there, Eyanya. I don''t want to think at all.¡±


    Takki congratulated him for his perspicacity. ¡°You did the right thing, Ressi. I''ll show you all the best places. Anyway, what do you think about Egilof? It sounds fun. Don''t they host a lot of sporting events there with plenty of betting and mysteries?¡±


    ¡°It''s true. For that very reason it has resisted signing the GE charter, as it wishes to retain its impartiality among the many states that compete there.¡±


    ¡°None of these sports are debates, are they?¡± asked a non-chief attendant. ¡°If they aren''t, I want to change my choice to Egilof.¡± As often, increased information decreased likemindedness.


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    That and other topics such as the latest technological innovations and discussions of excerpts from Understanding Yumin Humor, a volume Audnauj had bought with a view toward continuing his studies during the long journey, occupied the group on the ride to and partway down the Bow River, as Dirant preferred to think of Yehg Sirrir. They followed it to the capital, Swachtipl. ¡°That doesn''t sound like a Yumin name,¡± Takki said as a consequence not of ignorance, for she knew the reason behind it as did everyone of any education, but because of the obvious desire on the part of the servants to be asked about it. Elated, they unfolded the history of the place. One of the few cities founded in Redrin by the Dvanjchtlivs, they employed it both as a staging point for campaigns against invaders from the south or west and as the nexus of upper-class society.


    Long ago Swachtipl had been decided as the grounds where the nobles were required to present themselves for inspection in order that the king might judge the quality of their equipment and training. That measure which was calculated to enforce the superiority of the monarchy over the aristocracy reversed its significance over time. In the modern era, the role of inspector of men and materiel had become the undisputed but sole prerogative of the king. In all other respects the nobles treated him as one of their number, no greater or lesser than any other. The servants did not lower themselves to expound on the obvious conclusion that just as nobles in Redrin were the equals of the king, so too was the household of a Redrin noble the equals of a king''s in any other monarchy. As for anyone not employed by a lord, well, they understood there were only so many positions available.


    The tourist who missed out on spirited explanations about Swachtipl''s past or even the name of the city, perhaps after washing ashore after a battle against pirates, nevertheless would have detected a difference from other Redrin settlements on his own. Dvanjchtliv architecture distinguished itself by the many galleries and the color coordination. Ground-floor windows doubled as doors to give a sensation of openness to the city far unlike the stifling effect of pile after pile embraced by Adabans as a reminder of the hill forts of the past according to architectural historians given to sweeping claims. Wood remained the primary building material, at least externally; many edifices and columns of stone covered themselves in wooden paneling chosen and polished with such care as to obviate the need for any paint. Statues of horses both with and without riders dotted squares and street corners, often rearing next to ivy-gripped arches that curved over boulevards. The nobles and subjects in those streets naturally dressed more like Audnauj than his servants, the Yumins among them not excepted. Everything about the place looked expensive.


    Accommodations cost less than ever despite that, since the retinue stayed at the Olzenchipt Stavripdeu house, a domicile so expansive that Dirant would have required a map to navigate it had he wished to do so. The household staff did not encourage that sort of behavior, and perhaps would have actively discouraged it had he persisted, though the estate''s servants refrained from saying anything pointed even when they knew for certain Lord Audnauj would not overhear it.


    ¡°I feel neither welcome nor unwelcome,¡± Dirant Rikelta commented to Takki in the morning after leaving his room that was nearly all bed. Not that it was a small room. The bed was twice the size of his back home.


    ¡°Oh? I didn''t notice unfriendliness.¡±


    ¡°Perhaps it lost something in the translation. More likely they prefer your company to mine, and that sentiment is so common I have not yet found a mirror in this residence willing to endure my reflection.¡±


    ¡°That explains your collar, but do you think the jaunty angle of it will win them over to your side, Ressi?¡±


    He straightened his disguise, which apparently did the trick. The house servants, those in the lower positions and in the Onzalkarnd tier alike, displayed more deference than they had the evening prior as they showed him to breakfast and served him a meal specially provided with pickled radish they had dug out of the cellar. He wondered if that meant they knew him to be a pickle-eating Adaban, but asking about it seemed unwise. Only when the entourage set out again and was riding through the capital''s broad thoroughfares did the answer come.


    ¡°Of course they started treating you better. Word got out about everything you did for Lord Audnauj despite your lamentable Adabanness,¡± Hugal told him.


    ¡°And how did that happen?¡±


    Eyanya explained. ¡°We told them.¡±


    ¡°The cause and the effect do seem related.¡±


    ¡°The other effect was how hard they laughed about the whole thing. It wasn''t as funny at the time, but I can''t blame them for it now. Hey, what''s the hubbub?¡±


    Shouts and horns exploded to the rear of the retinue, and Audnauj paused in his progress. Cohorts of uniformed soldiers and panicked officials charged through the streets in every direction, shoving bystanders out of the way and blowing whistles. Pedestrians and riders moved to the side to let them pass.


    ¡°The plans! They''ve taken classified plans! Stop them!¡± One yelled that before the others told him to shut up about the secret warship plans already. Searchers raced past the cortege, back the other way, left across the junction ahead and right as well in turn, and then both ways simultaneously. The capital became a cauldron of chaos.


    ¡°I wonder if I should try to help,¡± Audnauj mused.


    Dirant had no reason to say anything for or against the idea until he looked up and saw a lone figure strolling across the rooftops. At that distance, and with the figure''s features obscured by a hat''s shadow as they were, of course he could not identify the roof-walker with any sort of confidence, except it was definitely Stansolt Gaomat. He told himself how foolish his conviction was even as it became greater with every step the alleged spy took. Alleged by him, that is, though Dirant guessed Silfour would have agreed had he been available for consultation.


    That created a problem. A Tit-for-Tat as moderate as his 42 nevertheless insisted that he owed something of some sort to both Audnauj and Stansolt because of services rendered even if they had already been compensated by, for instance, being rescued from a criminal mastermind. Moreover, he was supposed to be propping up Audnauj''s status however possible. Based on those considerations, he ought to assist the former apprehend the latter and the latter evade the former, which created a conundrum easily resolved when one remembered Audnauj also had an obligation to Stansolt for helping rescue him from a criminal mastermind. As for what debts a noble owed his country, Dirant decided not to care. He averted his eyes from the escaping spy in case an alert person, Battler Millim Takki Atsa perhaps, followed the direction of his gaze, and advised, ¡°It''s unlikely you can do anything they cannot here.¡±


    ¡°Suppose not. Let''s away to the Lesser then.¡± Audnauj''s party left the capital and all its decoration and intrigue.

 41. Southwest Over Road And Wave-Rich Field

    O Redrin, What Is Redrin? O Redrin, What Have We Made?


    The towns and cities lower down the Bow River regained the general Yumin aesthetic that the unkind might call ¡°slapdash,¡± though with magnificent Dvanjchtliv-style estates occasionally glorifying the fields and dipping private docks into the river.


    Fyalang Gardalihm, the Busy Port, deserved its name. However, after agreeing it also qualified as pretty while Gwin Gardalihm could fairly be called busy, Dirant and Takki concocted a theory that Redrin''s ports had all entered a contest to determine the order they picked their names. Takki surmised Fyalang Gardalihm won with Gwin Gardalihm taking second. ¡°After all, pretty is fine, but wouldn''t you rather be described as beautiful, stunning, or sultry?¡±


    ¡°I would not,¡± Dirant said. ¡°I understand the point and agree with it for all that.¡±


    ¡°Oh yes, I suppose you would prefer, I don''t know, crafty?¡±


    ¡°That too is a bit . . .¡±


    Takki tugged her scarf and switched to Yumin. ¡°Well I''m sure I don''t know what Adabans want. What compliments do you men like to hear?¡±


    ¡°Compliments?¡± Hugal''s blank look sufficed for a sad answer. The lesser menservants joined him in that.


    Takki''s smile disappeared in her dismay. ¡°Oh. I think you''re all very nice. What about you women? What compliments do you hope to be given?¡±


    ¡°Hope?¡± Eyanya''s expression echoed Hugal''s, as did those of the womenservants.


    ¡°Ressi, I''m starting to feel homesick.¡±


    ¡°And that touch of wistfulness in your look makes you quite beautiful and stunning.¡±


    ¡°Oh! Thank you.¡± A less discerning hearer might have suspected there to be mockery in that, but Battler Millim Takki Atsa noticed Dirant left sultry out and concluded from the exception that he meant the other two sincerely. A shame, since the excluded one appealed to her the most, but in no way did that lessen her appreciation over the compliments she did receive.


    Onzalkarnd ended that scene so distressing to the uncomplimented by riding back with the news that all preparations had been made for the Foam Stallion to receive them.


    ¡°Did the Olzenchipt Stavripdeu family win a competition for that name the way we have decided Fyalang Gardalihm did? Are there a Foam Stallion II and Foam Stallion XVI out there somewhere on the endless blue?¡± Dirant judged he could get away with that impertinence, but he was mistaken. About it being taken as an impertinence.


    ¡°It was a stiff contest, yes,¡± Audnauj informed him. ¡°Special race at the Famolyion Downs. First place grabbed Wavecrest Destrier. The captain didn''t like how we used our spot to claim a masculine name, but the sailors all call it ''her'' regardless. Did Fyalang Gardalihm win a name fight? I''ve never heard of it.¡±


    ¡°Yes, my lord, some three hundred years ago.¡± Onzalkarnd did have a sense of humor, Dirant knew, but he appeared not to be exercising it just then.


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    ¡°Good for it. All right then. We can delay a tad if you''ve made up your minds to say goodbye to our patient steeds here, but no more than that.¡±


    ¡°We did that yesterday, Master Audnauj,¡± Eyanya lied.


    ¡°As did I, so that''s taken care of. This way.¡± The servants and traveling companions followed him on foot to the pier. They were on foot, that is. Lord Audnauj still rode. He had arranged to have most of his horses stabled there, but one or two should be all right to bring along, he reasoned.


    Unlike the specialized horse transport that met them at Uviuvi, the Foam Stallion lowered only two gangplanks, one for important travelers and one for humans. Dirant walked onto that ship that awed passengers with all its masts and ropes and so forth. His one sea voyage had not made him an expert in nautical matters, surprisingly. At least he had advanced far enough in his seamanship to identify the captain by his scowl and his hat made forbidding by the lack of a friendly bundle of horsehair.


    He wondered, as the captain glared at the two horses being led up the ramp, whether the man''s dissatisfaction stemmed from there being too few horses for his liking or too many. Not all Dvanjchtlivs had an infatuation with horses, presumably, and men of the sea could be persnickety, probably. That all sounded correct based on the serials and wild cultural speculation current in Kitslof.


    Later, far from land, surrounded by nothing but fish and clouds along with creaking sounds he was getting better at ignoring, he trespassed upon the patience of Captain Reivsawm Hoidchaj Neuchipt Shchavliraj. The captain deemed him beneath notice, but realizing Lord Audnauj disagreed, gave him a brusque answer. ¡°I do not question, sir, the value of horses on land. Every man of sense must agree, sir, that much of what is valuable on land falls under the category of cargo on a ship, even as he admits the opposite, that carts haul about the necessities of naval transportation. The Foam Stallion, sir, was not built and commissioned to carry cargo. She carries passengers.¡± The stocky captain looked Dirant over with one hand behind his back and the other on his graying beard, something rarely sighted on a land Dvanjchtliv. ¡°Important passengers.¡±


    But before that clarification of the captain''s preferences as to the employment of the vessel he commanded, Takki had a question for Dirant. ¡°Ressi, did you see . . . something?¡±


    ¡°I believe I did, and I had this idea he was . . . a certain person.¡±


    ¡°I think he was. I''m glad we were able to get out of there without doing anything. It would have dropped Lord Audnauj in a rotten bushel.¡±


    ¡°Is that a saying?¡±


    ¡°Yes, it is.¡±


    With that agreed, they and the other passengers yet had to occupy themselves during the voyage. They engaged in conversations about history, fashion, the worst class (Warm Body), the best class (no agreement), epic poetry, non-epic poetry, and much else. Five days to the half of the island of Salustrid occupied by Redrin and no fairs to attend allowed them time enough to address an assortment of topics. By the time the Foam Stallion hove in to Dwecosptichdeu, they had covered all the controversies across the continent and had begun to conceive contempt for one another''s tastes.


    Dwecosptichdeu at first presented to the sea traveler an aspect unlike what either Yumin or Dvanjchtliv cities typically exhibited because of its stone emplacements where ships were being constructed or else had been drawn out of the water entirely for repair. Dozens of warships moored in that harbor, some as far longer than the Foam Stallion as the Ontoffemmiror River was than the Onbehemmiror River.


    ¡°That comparison doesn''t mean much to me, Ressi.¡±


    ¡°Then think of it this way. The Ontoffemmiror is about as much longer as the Onbehemmiror as those ships are compared to the one we''re on.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I have it now.¡±


    The captain hewed to the ways of the professional too closely to evince any displeasure at his assignment unless asked about it directly. His crew meanwhile had enjoyed the routine trip on a route little subject to piracy on account of the presence at the destination of the greater part of Redrin''s naval might. Further, the opportunity to conduct Lord Audnauj himself gave them material for later boasting. For those reasons it was a genial parting the passengers had from the waving sailors and dignified captain when they disembarked to march, or in one exceptional case ride, into the city.

 42. Chunawm Metals

    Industry May Be Honest Though Trade Never Is


    Past the modern harbor facilities which distinguished Dwecosptichdeu as the country''s naval headquarters during the fleet''s transformation into the mightiest on the continent, the place got a lot more Yumin. Except for the paint jobs. Those tended toward uniformity far more than those on the mainland, and uniformity in Dwecosptichdeu meant yellow. There was a reason for that according to Audnauj. ¡°They make that from ochre. It''s all very clever. I''ve never known how they figure these things out. Chunawm Metals does a lot of business in that, ochre I mean, not paint. I don''t know what companies deal in that. Does anyone?¡±


    Dirant did. ¡°Onlova Pilnostoreska and Urshdoi Sweravidju Snochtenvris are the two most familiar to me. Since business sense suggests shorter names are easier to remember, and business is known to be contrary to artistry, they must be very artistic firms indeed.¡±


    Takki could not permit such naive reasoning to pass without notice. ¡°You have to suspect they''re faking, don''t you? That those names are ruses by businessmen who know exactly what they''re doing? We''ll have to get to the bottom of that later, Ressi. Find out where their main offices are.¡±


    ¡°A trip to Chtrebliseu is indicated in the latter case. Is that possible? Must you not return to Pavvu Omme Os for hoarbird season?¡±


    ¡°Oh, certainly, but after that is the perfect time for a southern vacation. You will come, won''t you?¡±


    ¡°I fear I''ve expended all my vacation time for the next five years or so, yet I will try regardless.¡± Dirant remembered the third person in the conversation and stopped relying on his patience, not that there seemed to be any limit to it. ¡°I don''t know if either of those companies buys Redrin ochre or other pigments, and I must mention it when I return to the Stadeskosken offices on the possibility there is profit unreaped. Of course, with these trade restrictions . . .¡±


    Audnauj nodded sagely, though the sight gave a non-sage impression since he was upside-down over the saddle at the time. ¡°Oh, yes, definitely. Sad that there''s so much distrust in the world. Deserved much of the time, but sad. The Chunawm Metals base is just a bit past the city.¡± He shifted to Dvanj and addressed his chief attendant. ¡°That''s right, isn''t it? A few miles to the site?¡±


    ¡°Yes, my lord. Good exercise for the servants.¡± Onzalkarnd shook out his right leg while the Yumins shook their heads. If only that uncle had died a little sooner.


    The island, or rather the northern half of it controlled by Redrin, looked to be the sort of place a company called Something-or-Other Metals might thrive. The uneven land resembled piles of compacted refuse covered with a tarp more than hills, pebbles grew like grass, and orange beat out green as the most prominent color after brown. None of that bothered travelers, since the Redrins knew how to lay down a road, but poets stayed away, aghast. A few painters liked it. The ones who rejected traditional notions of beauty. Audnauj''s retinue met none of those along the way, though quite a few Yumins of a more practical inclination were taking that same road with the same destination or, in some cases, origin.


    The Chunawm Metals camp sprawled across a good amount of land, enough to qualify as a hamlet if more of the employees had chosen to live there in company dormitories instead of walking to and from Dwecosptichdeu every day. Most of the place was given over to storehouses and cart depots whence tracks ran into the interior and brought back material for workers to sort and smelt in the work areas that comprised most of the remainder, the rest of the space going to a cafeteria and nice little offices for managers, accountants, and specialists who waited to be called upon to do whatever it was they did.


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    As for the mining firm''s more alive assets, the workers ignored fashion in favor of smocks and masks which helped them endure the dust. The head manager there, Disal esIdyuin, violated style in a different way by wearing a simple shirt with short sleeves that exposed his hairy arms, a hat with a full brim instead of the narrow visor normal on the mainland, and several kerchiefs hanging from his belt which he pulled out one after another to wipe his brow, rotating them to give the oldest time to dry. Lesser Redrin, to its inhabitants, was Far Hotter Redrin, and all the more so in an industrial complex. Visitors straight off the boat did not yet understand, but they would.


    Manager Disal stood ready to greet Lord Audnauj Olzenchipt Stavripdeu Blawraj. He had set an employee as a scout to watch for the advent of that distinguished personage, which was the sort of maneuver that put him above lesser managers. A formal greeting was unnecessary. That was no meeting between peers; one was to command and the other to be commanded, nothing more. ¡°Lord Audnauj, what an honor this is for you to come out here in your own person. How was your trip? Wet? Ha ha.¡±


    ¡°I feel wetter now, frankly.¡± Audnauj accepted the reserve kerchief Disal offered.


    ¡°The best thing, my lord, is to come inside here. We have rituals strategically deployed around the camp so we don''t pass out as often.¡± He led the entourage into a low building in which chalk rectangles had been drawn on the floor around long tables. The visitors felt cooler the moment they stepped inside one of the marked areas.


    ¡°Refrain from scuffing the chalk,¡± Dirant warned in Yumin. ¡°What was ground up to make it would surprise you. This is a ritual for people who hate money.¡±


    Audnauj''s servants lifted their knees high to step over the lines as ostentatiously as possible. The Ritualist''s cautionary statement sounded like a joke to them, but the relief and gratitude Disal experienced were the real thing. He had not dared to say in front of a prominent nobleman anything resembling a hint of an implication that the company needed to worry about trivial expenses, but those rituals hit the budget hard. He realized at last how foolish he had been to worry himself. Of course Lord Audnauj included nothing but highly perceptive and considerate servants in his train.


    ¡°Would you like anything, my lord? Iced tea, perhaps?¡± He deserved a raise for managing to make that offer without a crack in his voice. The rituals used to prepare iced tea and keep it ready for important executives carried their own hefty bills that made him anxious about depleting the stock. He hoped this was not one of those lords who considered the welfare of those under him at all times.


    ¡°That sounds just right, Mr. esIdyuin. My servants had a bit of a walk getting here.¡± He was one of those. ¡°So I''d like it if you opened your cafeteria to them. They can buy themselves some relief while I take advantage of your offer, and we''ll all get on well.¡± One of those true nobles who was sent by the gods to beautify this world of sordid struggle, that is. ¡°Let''s start in on pressing matters with a gallop so we can relax and enjoy ourselves later. ''The mind eased by duty done,'' as they say.¡±


    ¡°Certainly, Lord Audnauj. Just as you say. The complication is easy enough to explain, but it calls for the client''s judgment.¡± The manager laid it out. Eardron, aside from being a terrible material for most purposes, came in small quantities. Even trinkets typically required two or three chunks to be joined together. Chunawm Metals put a great deal of effort into categorizing eardron in order to ensure the most compatible samples would be combined, and from no category of the higher grades might enough be scraped together to provide plating for a statue of the size described. Potential solutions included using a lower grade to preserve uniformity, making do with a lower grade for most of it but with lustrous eyes picked from the best-quality stock, or a more artful mixture. For instance, perhaps the Olzenchipt Stavripdeu family wished to distinguish the head of its statue from the rest much like the famous steed King Chevarnj rode off the Dvanj Plateau and into the annals of history. Countless variations might be imagined. Chunawm Metals had not bothered Count Blawgnu with requests for clarification without cause.


    ¡°We never dreamt you did, Mr. esIdyuin. Father sends letters to handle that sort of thing, not sons.¡±


    The manager brought out labeled cases filled with samples for the client to peruse. As said client began to do so, his servants and guests settled themselves in for some true boredom that failed to arrive, for a man came to the door who ought not to have been there.

 43. Pursuing An Explanation For Odd Events

    Remember Your Courage Even Then


    Manager Disal hustled over to speak to him and, more importantly, try to the block line of sight from the visitors. They all saw it though: a gambeson-wearing black-haired Adaban with his helmet in one hand and his other lounging on the hilt of the longest of several swords and daggers about his person. The Adaban spoke in a low voice and left after receiving a response from the manager, who felt himself compelled to offer an explanation when he returned to the table. He did so after wiping his forehead a couple more times.


    ¡°We brought on some extra security after a few incidents. Not so much incidents really as sightings, if we''re as precise about that as about our eardron, ha ha. Some of the workmen think they may have caught sight of some activity by persons unknown deeper inland. It was probably just the heat, but we can''t not think about spies down here. Between our operations and the fleet modernization, and then there''s the Drastlifars on the other side. Well, it just so happened that some experienced mercenaries were available after those corsairs of Olaxeitat over in Eubosh finally got what was coming to them. In fact! We were able to hire the very man who seized Olaxeitat itself and cut off their support. His name is Kelnsolt Aradetnaf. He may be an Adaban, but that doesn''t mean he isn''t the best. That was one of his men. He said nothing''s been turned up so far and Mr. Aradetnaf is continuing the investigation.¡±


    Disal esIdyuin may have missed his calling as an auctioneer or the servant who announced the full names of guests arriving at a high-society function. Not many had the lungs to say that much without pausing for breath. Knowing that Lord Audnauj had broad views when it came to keeping useful Adabans around would have saved him the effort, but the cunning precaution of having Dirant Rikelta wear gray prevented that. The manager believed his gambit had succeeded when Audnauj spoke with no threat in his voice but only vague interest. ¡°Kelnsolt Aradetnaf? Haven''t heard of him. One of those, whatchemits, condottieri? Is he capable?¡±


    Dirant testified about that point. ¡°He is quite efficient. The condottieri followers dislike the straightforward way he goes about his work in contrast to his more famous father. That is a consequence of his low Panache and not a moral failing worthy of condemnation.¡±


    He started as soon as he said that to think perhaps it would have been better not to have revealed the oddly wide extent of his knowledge of an Adaban mercenary captain, but the lack of risk thus far had made him incautious. Nothing bad happened of course, not with the protection of Lord Audnauj, who continued looking over eardron, imagining how it would look on a horse, and speaking idly. ¡°Know a bit about it, eh? Are you a condottieri follower yourself?¡±


    ¡°Ah, it is only that I met him once when we . . . in Wessolp, where we both had obligations.¡±


    ¡°The world gets smaller every day. I suppose you''d like to catch up with your friend?¡±


    ¡°It was a professional relationship only, and as he is being very professional right now, it would be rude for me to interrupt.¡±


    ¡°Thoughtful of you.¡±


    With that conversational subject exhausted, Takki asked Dirant to translate all that Dvanj for her. He did so after shuffling to the far side of the bench so as not to disturb Audnauj''s perusal. Nobody had demanded silence, but there was something about the minor squeaks of cases being opened and tinkles as small metal chunks dropped on the table which created an atmosphere of grave sanctity.


    Takki felt it too, and she further detected a mystery in the offing. ¡°Ressi, we can''t leave everything to mercenaries, can we? If they''re all Adabans, the workers might not tell them everything they need to know. We have to conduct a parallel investigation.¡± That ¡°will must¡± stumble of hers had disappeared just as Dirant was beginning to find it endearing. There were poems about that sort of thing.


    As to the substance, the sole investigation that interested him involved the expert Picker alleged to be employed at that site. Still, that promised to be a short one, since he need only ask the manager or, better yet, ask Audnauj to ask the manager. Moreover, though he feared his reluctance to turn down any request Millim Takki Atsa chose to make might cause him hardship one day, no reason to stand his ground in that instance came to mind. The mercenary cohort would prevent any danger short of an invasion by Drastlif, Audnauj''s business required time, and leaving Redrin without having an adventure would ruin his collection. He therefore acquiesced and proceeded to the planning stage. ¡°Is this a dual campaign, or do we round up Yumins to make us look more trustworthy?¡±


    Hugal slid over. ¡°Please take me. There''s nothing to groom and I might be dismissed.¡±


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    Eyanya did the same. ¡°Go groom yourself. I already did that, so please take me instead.¡±


    Speaking of circumstances requiring explanation, only then did Dirant realize he had been amid one for days. ¡°With what intention did your master bring you along? Is not your place in the port with his horses?¡±


    Eyanya leaned over the table after looking around. ¡°Don''t tell our inferiors, but I don''t think Master Audnauj knows what it is we do.¡±


    ¡°That''s why we still have jobs,¡± Hugal added. His fellow groom nodded in agreement.


    While the other Yumins opted to relax inside the ritual-chilled area until duties such as cleaning Lord Audnauj''s clothes and carrying his armaments forced them away, four curious trouble-seekers left the building for the hot, hot outdoors and its blood-chilling mysteries.


    Eyanya proposed a plan of action. ¡°You might think Hugal or I should talk to our fellow Yumin salary-scroungers. You''re wrong. They''ll think we look down on them because we''re in a lord''s household.¡±


    ¡°Are they right?¡± Takki asked.


    ¡°How right are they?¡± Dirant asked.


    ¡°I''m perceiving some disparate ideas of our character here. It doesn''t matter. One of you should ask. That''s a polite way of saying the friendly Pavvu lady.¡± Eyanya put her arm around Takki''s shoulders.


    ¡°I can''t agree with that.¡± Hugal, for once, made a serious contribution. ¡°The intimidating Adaban gentleman looks more like the mercenaries they were told to cooperate with.¡±


    ¡°That''s the point. We want information they didn''t get.¡±


    ¡°Intimidating?¡± Takki backed up and analyzed Dirant while the grooms argued. ¡°I don''t see it. Maybe intense or driven are better words? But if the Yumins see you that way, we have to accept it.¡± She accosted a clump of laborers who appeared to be on break. Whether they were supposed to be was not so clear. ¡°Battler Millim Takki Atsa, present. Are you free to talk? We want to help with your problems.¡±


    ¡°Beats pretending I want to get back to work,¡± one said as he rose to greet the investigators after the hearty Yumin fashion, and the rest thought his declaration convincing. After a round of introductions and clapping of arms, the workers supplied certain interpretations of recent events which had become popular if not prevalent in the camp which Disal esIdyuin had excluded from his narrative, to wit, ghosts.


    ¡°Or spirits,¡± they allowed. Shapes that cast no shadow, shadows without a shape to cause them, the sensation of being watched, rocks sliding for no evident reason, tree branches still in the wind or swaying at a windless hour, and whispers impossible to reconcile as human speech were some of the signs reported by workers. Ordinarily a more prosaic explanation might have been favored. Lesser Redrin, however, was a land of ancient enigmas. Ruins, geographical formations that looked like ruins, and the blessed waters that produced eardron gave the place a strange and fey atmosphere.


    Takki objected. ¡°What makes you think the waters are blessed?¡±


    ¡°Eardron comes out of them,¡± the laborers explained.


    ¡°Oh, but why does eardron come out of them?¡±


    Dirant predicted the response. ¡°Because a god blessed them.¡±


    ¡°This guy who doesn''t look Yumin at all is right. Eardron isn''t mined, you know. We pluck it from lakes and riverbeds. That''s why it comes in such small amounts. The goddess Salustris has blessed this island since long ago. She''s the one who makes regular junk into eardron.¡± The laborer shrugged. ¡°I don''t know how many people believe that nowadays, but what can we do? Experts in minerals keep coming over to figure out how eardron forms and keep sailing back with nothing but regrets.¡±


    Eyanya raised a finger to her lips that were pressed together in concentration. ¡°Wait. That''s why the island is named Salustrid?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡±


    ¡°This island?¡±


    ¡°Uh huh.¡±


    ¡°Hm.¡± She wrestled with that one, leaving no intellectual vigor to tackle the challenge of the strange sightings.


    Takki''s Sticktoitiveness of 71 prevented her mind from wandering, not to mention she had learned the source of the island''s name long before she sailed to it. ¡°If spirits or ghosts appear anywhere in Redrin, it''s here, you mean. What is it about what''s been going on that makes you think normal people aren''t responsible? Spies can watch people, shake trees, and escape when their shadows are spotted.¡±


    The workers had a variety of answers prepared. ¡°Spies leave footprints. Not on the harder spots, I guess.¡±


    ¡°Normal people drop a trail of pebbles when they cross the hard ground.¡±


    ¡°They break off twigs and bark when they climb trees.¡±


    ¡°Scatter nuts and leaves, too.¡±


    ¡°Right, and it''s not as if people are just standing around. They see someone and they go see if there''s trouble forthwith, straightaway, and presently. Injuries are pretty common in the field. We had to haul Oshemay in last week after he broke his leg.¡±


    ¡°Nobody''s heard them, either. They don''t threaten like soldiers or try to make nice like spies from rivals, they''re just gone.¡±


    ¡°If they''re scouts, where are the packs and stuff then? What about armor and weapons? These are some slim shadows we''re talking about.¡±


    ¡°Perhaps they are fairies or so,¡± Dirant suggested.


    ¡°Makes sense.¡±


    ¡°Could be.¡±


    ¡°Can''t be.¡± Takki alone remembered the discoveries made by modern researchers and raised her voice to defend them. ¡°Fairies don''t exist anymore and ghosts never did. We''ve all heard stories about them, but has anyone seen them?¡± Several workmen raised their hands. ¡°No, I''m sorry, I meant besides the ones being discussed now. Which aren''t fairies. Or ghosts, or spirits.¡±


    ¡°The reasoning seems circular,¡± Dirant noted.


    ¡°But Ressi, isn''t the scientific method circular?¡±


    ¡°Ah, and so it is.¡±


    Takki raised her halberd Battlerishly. ¡°Let the, um, claim we will test be that things other than humans have been spotted. To test this, we will look for signs of human activity inland. Here and now I . . . I . . . Ressi, please translate.¡± At his nod, she continued in Usse. ¡°I register my opinion that we will find such signs, thus falsifying the hypothesis. Should we go after lunch or before, do you think?¡±

 44. Facing A Threat

    There Is No Longer Any Question Of Courage; Swift Action Is Required


    After won. Takki, Dirant, Eyanya, and Hugal left the workers free to go back to work, or possibly not, while they gathered relevant supplies such as a map and gazetteer bought from the company store before they joined Audnauj at a cafeteria table and listened to his initial conclusion.


    ¡°My first thought was to have the whole thing done in one type. Should look nicer that way. But then I recalled it''s Yumins who are meant to look at it. They seem to like mishmashes and so forth. So we''ll go for a mix, I think.¡± That made sense to Dirant, Takki, and Onzalkarnd. It made sense to the Yumins as well, though a suspicion they had just been insulted prevented a complete appreciation of their master''s decision.


    Afterward, Audnauj returned to detailed consideration of the interplay between artistic vision and material reality while Dirant extracted a pancake that used to be a hat from his rucksack under the theory that he should fear the sun more than a failure of his disguise. While he tried to fix it, the other investigators took their own precautions as far as canteens and extra scarves for extra wiping. That done, they set out on a course alongside a cart track which led to what the laborers reckoned to be the most active locations, ghost-wise.


    A few haulers rolled downhill toward the camp as the expedition members marched upwards. They waved to workers panning for eardron in streams off to the sides as they went, chirping birds hailed them, and assorted critters paid them the honor of fleeing at the sight of them. The track eventually ended at a secondary camp where actual mining went on, and from there they trekked deeper inland up into the forested foothills where Chunawm Metals was attempting to cultivate a convenient lumber source but had not yet succeeded in replacing the scraggly local trees and brush with more regular growth of the sort that might meet milestones determined by management quarter after quarter.


    The scenery failed to inspire conversation or anything besides contempt, and therefore Dirant returned to the subject at hand. ¡°What do we expect to find, putting aside flippancy? I cannot decide between employees of a rival enterprise and fairies.¡±


    ¡°I''m going with the highest odds. Either local spirits or Drastlifan scouts from the other side of the island.¡± That was Hugal''s opinion.


    Eyanya put forward a more complete case. ¡°Don''t you two pay attention to the news? Those pirates are driven out of their friendly harbor in Eubosh Ashurit, and then by coincidence people who run away when they''re spotted show up here? They''re pirates or maybe the ghosts of people killed by pirates. It''s definite.¡±


    Takki went last. ¡°We all get two guesses? All right then. The most probable explanations have to be spies from Stegzi or local weather effects. It didn''t happen before because the mining operations changed the windbreaks, ground levels, and other factors.¡±


    ¡°It may sound condescending for me to bring this up, but I mean it when I say your Yumin is coming along rapidly,¡± Dirant complimented her. ¡°And so I won''t hold back. Why Stegzi? Naval matters are naturally of moment there I suppose, as they would be for any island-bound country. Still, Redrin aims to dominate the Arch Sea whereas Stegzi''s interests are west and south of it. Drastlif, Noiswawau, Eubosh Ashurit, and many GE states must be likelier suspects, and even Chtrebliseu, or?¡±


    Takki paused to help Eyanya over a tricky slope before she gave her answer. ¡°Thinking about motive is important, but we have to be aware of what we don''t know. Don''t the places where the sightings took place suggest the spies are interested in eardron? Isn''t it possible another country has found a real use for it? Even if we do find out the motive, that isn''t enough. For example, in Mosso Eksu, the hope of financial gain was behind the mystery, remember? Knowing that much wouldn''t have been enough to unravel it.¡±


    ¡°That is so far correct that indeed I can''t claim we unraveled it at all. Please continue. I''m not someone who stops paying attention during the fourth act.¡±


    ¡°Is anyone? We''ll cover theater later. Well, everyone knows the Stegzins brought over classes we don''t know on Egillen from the south. I don''t think we''re sure how many. Rumors always get exaggerated. Some of our foreign, um, people who look hard at foreign things in Pavvu Omme Os have gone so far as to say the Stegzins themselves work to confuse the issue. Supposedly some of them learn sneaky abilities and they don''t want other countries or criminals like Glainai Gabas to get it. I added the part about Mr. Glainai myself, but it fits, don''t you think?¡±


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    As true as it was that everyone knew Stegzi had its own hidden classes, Dirant reflected that he had heard the same about Sedoglai Dolinyan, Pavvu Istis, and even Tabiligdum. ¡°Is that information reliable?¡±


    ¡°I''m sorry to say it isn''t. Which means if we can find evidence here, won''t that feel rewarding?¡±


    ¡°I want to switch to a sneaky class,¡± Eyanya announced.


    ¡°To make slinking off to a hammock easier?¡± Hugal asked.


    ¡°No. I''ll be the most energetic blackmailer of all time.¡±


    ¡°If you had the Sticktoitiveness for that, you''d already be in a better class.¡±


    ¡°You''ll be my first customer, Hugal.¡±


    ¡°Great. Lend me some money so I can get in a social predicament.¡±


    As much as Dirant hated to interrupt the grooms while they were working out a new routine, the topic of class changes interested him for all that his staggering Receptivity had decided he must remain a Ritualist. ¡°Does anyone here qualify for any secret classes? They appear as a series of question marks until you discover the true title, I was told.¡±


    Eyanya said, ¡°I think that''s supposed to be how it normally works. One of my cousins told me that he''d heard from the janitor at this research institute that sometimes new classes show up in your list even if your stats don''t change.¡±


    ¡°I have to tell you something about our Yumin ways. When we say a cousin heard it from some guy, that means we''re making it up.¡±


    ¡°Not this time, Hugal. I''m serious. And the researchers also had a theory that at first there was one class everybody had and we branched out from there. They were arguing over whether it was Warm Body, some other basic class, or maybe an ur-class that''s been lost. This is real information. Go ask around if you don''t believe me.¡±


    ¡°I will do so,¡± Dirant promised, already reviewing which universities might be involved in that sort of inquiry.


    Takki had a troubled expression. ¡°If that''s true, our guesses about stat requirements for exotic classes may be off. Right? Since it''s done by surveying people who don''t have question marks in their class lists and writing down their stats to compare.¡±


    No one at Todelk engaged in general class research, Dirant believed. Perhaps Paspaskudenna University. ¡°Must you therefore admit Redrin has surpassed Pavvu Omme Os in class science? As to where Greater Enloffenkir stands, nobody bothered to tell me.¡±


    ¡°That''s so cruel of them, Ressi.¡±


    ¡°It''s my fault for never thinking to ask. The next question is whether, blessed with a secret class, you would switch to it. Ability debt is a serious consideration.¡±


    Takki agreed. ¡°I''d never leave Battler.¡±


    Hugal, however, belittled that serious consideration. ¡°I guess you two need your class abilities, but the only time I use any of mine is when a horse kicks me in the head. That hasn''t happened in years.¡±


    ¡°Should I schedule one for you, Hugal?¡±


    ¡°Yes, thank you, Eyanya. I could use a medical vacation. So that''s why I don''t mind losing my abilities for a while. The new ones would definitely be better for me.¡±


    Class chat occupied them all the way to the artificial pond area. Chunawm Metals, an outfit dedicated to innovation, had engineered eardron harvesting fields by digging dozens of shallow ponds in land where nothing more productive could be done. The workers who informed the visitors of the project emphasized that was probably supposed to be a secret, but only after they did the informing. In any case, since the last eardron harvest for some time had been carried out a littler earlier to get in a good stock for Lord Audnauj''s inspection, they figured no harm had been done. Dirant pointed to the loose lips of the employees to support the commercial espionage idea. A rival need only set men with functional ears to hang around if it wanted to collect information on Chunawm''s enterprises.


    The four picked their way among pools whose clear waters showed every rock and pebble beneath while they scanned the landscape for any sign of human activity. Footprints, scraps of clothing, anything. They found many such, but all belonged to the mining company''s employees so far as the volunteer investigators could determine.


    Eyanya offered a sly suggestion. ¡°Unless the infiltrators, the ghost infiltrators I mean, disguised themselves as hard-working Yumins.¡±


    ¡°That''s an easy mistake for foreigners to make,¡± Hugal said in support. ¡°They should have disguised themselves as normal Yumins.¡±


    Dirant joined in. ¡°Then we ought to refrain from exposing them. Chunawm Metals might go under if investors lose confidence in the personnel.¡±


    ¡°So?¡± Eyanya asked.


    ¡°So some of them might take up groom as their new career.¡±


    ¡°You''re doing a good job, everyone. If you keep talking like that the people watching us won''t grow suspicious.¡± None of the other three had known Takki to employ deadpan, at least not successfully. Her tone usually started rising and falling as if a song was about to break out when she engaged in humorous talk. As such, they concluded she meant it.

 45. The Baleful Test Of Arms

    Alack, The Backwards Step, Pride''s Undoer!


    Asking a Ritualist and two Small Fry to remain calm in the face of danger, possibly supernatural danger at that, may have been an unreasonable request, but they tried. Maybe the party observing them would miss the strain in their voices or mistake it for a sudden recurrence of puberty. They enlarged on the topic of Yumin laziness and how it contrasted with typical Adaban practices, and all the while they drifted back toward the trees in response to Takki''s taps and bumps.


    ¡°Of course we admit it. We don''t want to lie.¡± Hugal put a little too much emphasis on ¡°course¡± and ¡°lie,¡± but he was holding up better than either he or the acting coach he never had might have expected.


    ¡°Ah, and that is the deficiency in your technique. Suppose your immediate superior asks if you believe you earn your pay. You don''t want to say yes, for you prize honesty. Therefore you take up a posture of wounded pride, as if you were the one aggrieved, and repeat the question in an incredulous tone. ''Do I believe I earn my pay? Was that the question, sir?'' That should conclude the matter in most cases.¡±


    Eyanya objected. ¡°Most isn''t enough for me.¡±


    ¡°You are wise to ready contingencies. Suppose further that your superior possesses enough Gumption or Sticktoitiveness to insist upon an answer. Say simply this. ''It is not for me to say so, sir. Whatever your opinion, I can but concur with it.'' You must speak as a wronged wife does. Should you be unfamiliar with the type, marry someone and get to work.¡±


    Eyanya gasped. ¡°Adabans are too much.¡±


    Hugal nodded a head heavy with new wisdom. ¡°We didn''t close the borders because of spies and invasions after all. It was to stop these abominable methods from leaking through.¡±


    Dirant judged his own performance to be quite satisfactory, and he found objective support for that.


    <blockquote>


    +1 to Panache gained.


    </blockquote>


    He did have the advantage that his fear subsided as they approached the wood. Soon they would be away from the haunted pond area, on their way back to the camp where Takki would report whatever she had detected. Battlers made excellent witness, he imagined. He would back her up, Kelnsolt Aradetnaf would alter the security arrangements accordingly, and then on with learning if Chunawm Metals really did have an Edition Freeze Picker. If so, he had only to collect said person''s name and preferred method of communication to pass to Penneram Densos.


    ¡°When he concentrates on stepping over that log, I''ll charge him. Probably her, actually.¡± Battler Millim Takki Atsa''s quiet but bold proclamation brought all that earlier fear back and more, all without a corresponding increase in cunning plans. He could hope that the spirits of the place reacted well to being charged by outsiders wielding polearms, but that was about all.


    Takki pretended to stumble into Dirant at the appointed time and pushed off him to dash toward the alleged observer. Dirant, Hugal, and Eyanya whipped around to look, and the latter two improved on the tactic by diving to the ground. The peace-loving Ritualist, who had engaged in battle on a mere few occasions and for the best of reasons only, followed a bit later. Even then, his inexperience and curiosity hindered him in his effort to dedicate to the maneuver. He kept his head up and saw, or thought he saw, a blur like a dinner partner viewed through a glass raised for a toast, and that for no more than a second. Then there was nothing but a confused Battler looking back and forth, not to mention shuffling forth and back, her halberd ready to cleave the air. Birds sang. There was a squirrel.


    ¡°That''s about what we expected, isn''t it? Now to go back and look for traces.¡± Takki''s words then may not have been a lie as such, but.


    ¡°She definitely thought she''d catch the culprit,¡± Eyanya whispered.


    ¡°No doubt about it,¡± Hugal agreed.


    ¡°Her movements give her away,¡± Dirant confirmed.


    Their caution proved needless, they learned as Takki continued speaking while she extracted tweezers and a magnifying glass from her satchel. ¡°I hoped to capture her, but it would be silly to rely on that.¡± She dropped to the earth much like the three behind her had done, though for a far different purpose, and started to crawl along, tools at the ready.


    The other three, toolless as they were, shrugged and followed along. They still had eyes, fingers, and leisure time. Dirant also had a memory of where the strange figure stood before it vanished, he believed, but no signs remained in that spot so far as he could make out. Takki had passed over that ground as well without finding anything, and for that reason the case for a supernatural explanation grew stronger in his opinion.


    That raised a point. ¡°In the event that we fail to find evidence of human activity, when do we accept that as our conclusive result?¡±


    The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.


    Takki stopped and looked back. ¡°Never. You know science is always in motion, Ressi.¡±


    ¡°Yes, I should have been clearer. I mean for us. Today. The current investigation.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± She resumed her search. ¡°I don''t think we need to set any hard lines, do we?¡±


    ¡°Not if we want to weasel out of admitting that was a ghost,¡± he thought but did not say. It was too early for pointed comments, the danger too recent, and the feelings too raw. Maybe not that last part, but he decided to hold the matter in reserve to fill some later conversational gap.


    Just in time, too. ¡°Oh,¡± Takki said, not as a prelude to a longer statement or question, but as something full of meaning in itself. The worse-equipped investigators froze and watched her careful tweezers flick aside a few pebbles that obscured the true prize. She lifted something, or so they presumed since they could see nothing from their positions.


    ¡°Look at this,¡± she urged. The three scrambled around to view at last some suggestive evidence: a strand of blond hair, golden like the sun''s rays or the metal so many Survyais once rushed to Droinasbirvi to unearth only to settle for iron in the end. No one there needed to say that out of the four freelance investigators, zero of them were blond. In response to Takki''s anticipatory expression, Dirant went ahead and pointed out who often was blond, according to what he had heard of the world beyond the GE.


    ¡°Is this truly a Stegzin operation?¡±


    ¡°I''m very glad to hear you say so. Confirmation is always nice, especially when it''s, what''s the word . . .¡± She swapped to Usse. ¡°Admission against interest.¡± Then she swapped back and patted Dirant''s arm while, if he was not mistaken, shedding a few tears. ¡°You''ve really shown us a lot of honesty today. The acting before must have been hard on you. Watch out!¡±


    Millim Takki Atsa retracted her hand and rolled away just before a dagger stuck in the ground where she had been, which spoke to the thrower''s great force, as hard as said ground was. She sprang up, halberd twirling to deflect incoming projectiles in a display of martial prowess possible for Battlers and perhaps Symbol Knights, Tiger Knights, and Acrobats, but certainly not achievable by Small Fry or Ritualists. Those unfortunates who had picked the wrong classes performed a more slapdash form of standing up, and Eyanya flubbed even that. The two gentlemen helped her up and began their withdrawal.


    ¡°I''ll cover us. Don''t get too far away from me.¡± Takki backed away, and no missile penetrated her defense. Until daggers and knives started flying in from other angles that is, some of them augmented by fire and lightning, at which point she told her dependants to pick up the pace a tad. It was an awkward retreat they made, the more so since the enemy refused to dignify the proceedings by showing up. The unseen foes instead sent weapons in their place the same way every session of the Chtrebliseu parliament opened with an announcement from a representative of the crown that the king was unable to attend that day. The main difference was that the king only occasionally tried to kill the people in his parliament.


    Again Takki withdrew to the trees with the intention of reducing the avenues of attack. There at last the enemy force made itself visible. Attackers leapt into the trees, perched on narrow branches, and flung knives and daggers downward. They wore baggy garments which covered every part of their bodies from toe to nose, all of one dark color or else mottled green, brown, and orange with the evident goal of rendering the wearer harder to distinguish from the surrounding landscape. With their hair either blond or the lightest of browns tied up in buns, tails, or knots above their blue eyes, they certainly matched the descriptions of Stegzin citizens their intended victims had heard.


    Though the acrobatic maneuvers and devious camouflage of those dexterous dagger-flingers made a count impossible, they outnumbered the four by a worrying proportion. More importantly, they outnumbered the single elite-combat-class-haver. Yet they held back, and as he watched them, Dirant began to understand why. A strange feeling overtook him, as if he was about to burp but could not, even when he absented himself from company to get it over with. He looked around for Holzd and saw nothing but violent Stegzins, probably, checked his main status and noticed no change, and peeked at his eligible classes list in case that secret Stegzi class talk earlier had any relevance. It did.


    ¡°It seems I qualify for that class. It''s called Ninja, and the requirements are such that, to be frank, they are likely no match for you in combat, Takki.¡±


    ¡°I got the same impression, Ressi. It''s comforting to hear more evidence. What are the requirements?¡± A dozen more projectiles plinked off her whirling blade.


    ¡°54 Sticktoitiveness, 48 Coordination, 42 Receptivity, between 22 and 54 Panache, and below 48 Tit-for-Tat. An odd assortment you must agree, and the lack of Muscle and Verve are suggestive as far as the nature of its abilities, if not dispositive.¡±


    ¡°What was that last part?¡± He reworked it into Adaban for her convenience. ¡°Oh, yes, I really agree with you.¡±


    Dirant left out the observation that grabbed him even in that perilous circumstance. The potential class list gave no indication as to what god''s priesthood a class entailed. Perhaps another ability handled that. He surprised himself with his insouciance until he realized his brain had determined the circumstance not to be so perilous after all but had neglected to let him know.


    The battle, such as it was, seemed firmly in Takki''s favor, though the three with her might have wished that extended to them more than it did, since surely a single Battler could not defend them forever. Every dagger clinked off the halberd and fell at her feet or bounced off somewhere to be snatched up by a presumably Stegzin Ninja, but surely some would pass her by, or she would get tired, or something. Surely. As time passed, they started to feel a little bad for the Ninjas.


    ¡°I guess I don''t qualify for it, so I don''t have to take back what I said about changing,¡± Hugal said.


    ¡°It still has other uses,¡± Eyanya insisted in a fervent defense of a class she, too, would never become.


    ¡°Jump on to the first mine cart that comes by,¡± Dirant agreed. That is, he agreed with himself as to the best next step to take.


    ¡°Good idea.¡± Takki agreed with that as well, though whether out of concern for her dear friends, an urge to rush into the bloody fight without distractions, or eagerness to brag to everyone at the main camp about her solution of the mystery could not be determined. Dirant reminded himself to hold on to his initial feeling of shocked admiration at the confirmation of her theory when the bragging happened. He knew he would be tempted to make light of it later, when they were safe and the problem put in the hands of others, which would be unkind and untrue to his sentiments.

 46. The Lance Of Parley Raised

    A Weapon To Rescue Lives Otherwise Lost


    One of the Ninjas, a woman with golden blonde buns barely visible, said something in what may well have been Yosribdi, the tongue of Stegzi. It matched the famous Ottkir world traveler Topent Atkolta''s description of a language that invariably sounded angry regardless of the speaker''s mood. Then again, she might have just been angry. In response, six of the assailants dropped to the ground and unsheathed short swords in preparation for a massed attack.


    ¡°Run,¡± Takki suggested, and they did. Not before the Ritualist among them sent up a pretty light, of course. To the Ninjas and their high Receptivity, it appeared very pretty indeed, engrossingly so.


    ¡°You run too, and refrain from looking up.¡± Dirant had begun to doubt the practicality of the Fascination Ritual, since he risked entrancing any allies he happened to have as well, but it remained advisable in escape-based plans. All the more so when the single important ally had learned to keep her eyes down when he used it.


    The almost eight minutes of its duration, or Dirant''s Receptivity divided by eleven in minutes if he wanted to brag despite the discouraging glare of Adaban tradition, got them out of the woods and close to the track. The Ninjas adapted by turning their heads away, both their own and jerking those of their transfixed comrades, which did terrible things to their marksmanship and their necks. Even after the pretty light dissolved, they feared some similar trick and kept their distance. That hesitation kept the four safe from a concerted onslaught, and when a cart rolled by on its downhill journey to the Chunawm Metals facility, full of promising ore to be processed and less promising dross to be discarded, they grabbed the sides and clung.


    ¡°This is where a Small Fry shines! I''ll never let go!¡± Eyanya''s jubilant cry made the cart''s rumbling seem a whisper.


    ¡°Oh?¡± The ineloquence of Millim Takki Atsa''s question might be forgiven on account of her asking that while holding on with one hand and beating back throwing knives with a halberd held in the other.


    ¡°It''s true. We have this ability, Tenacious Grip, that makes it so instead of using Muscle to hold onto things we use half our Muscle and all of our Verve. Seeing as that''s the class''s highest requirement . . . Are you doing all right, Dirant?¡±


    ¡°I''ve got him.¡± Hugal exercised his Small Fry advantages to maintain a grip on the cart and the low-Muscle Ritualist simultaneously.


    Relieved, Dirant commented, ¡°Thank you, and I see now Kelnsolt was right. Small Fry is an excellent class.¡±


    ¡°He said that?¡± Both grooms grinned and even blushed, something they had never done in all the time Dirant had known them no matter how much their employer, or he for that matter, thought they should have.


    ¡°He favors them in his hiring, he told me, and gave me reason to believe that opinion is not a personal idiosyncrasy.¡±


    ¡°Maybe I''ll explore my employment options after we''ve escaped.¡±


    ¡°You mean now that we''ve escaped, Hugal.¡±


    ¡°I meant this cart isn''t that fast and they are, Eyanya.¡±


    It was true the Ninjas were keeping up pretty well with the ore hauler, but not well enough to incite any panic in the pursued. The Stegzins fell behind bit by bit, more so when the slope became steeper. They nevertheless kept up the chase over the entire distance to the camp. However the class fared in combat, it possessed impressive stamina unless only the strenuous training of those particular specimens made it seem so.


    The two Small Fry attempted to match that feat of endurance with a marathon of yelling. They succeeded so well that when the camp became visible, already the hardy workers and the less physically oriented personnel along with Lord Audnauj and Onzalkarnd had grabbed weapons or weapon-like tools and arrayed themselves two ranks deep for battle. The formation parted to allow the cart through. As it did, the grooms hopped off and made a full and clear report.


    ¡°They''re Stegzins, we think,¡± Hugal said.


    ¡°They''re Ninjas, we think. Pretty interesting, right? A new class?¡± Eyanya was not actually asking. She knew the answer.


    ¡°That is interesting,¡± a bunch of workers said about the second part and Disal esIdyuin about the first part. The manager called over Mohlin laMohlay, a lawyer retained by Chunawm Metals who spoke perfect Yosribdi and was there to look over some proposals sent by a prospective purchaser in Stegzi.


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    ¡°Mr. laMohlay, tell them . . . I don''t know. Stall for time the way Stegzins do it.¡±


    Mohlin nodded, adjusted his expensive Yean Defiafi cravat, and walked up to the front line. ¡°Dust should get along with dust,¡± he called out in a voice so deep and rich that its great volume seemed a natural property and not a result of panic or wrath. ¡°My name is Mohlin laMohlay, and I will represent Chunawm Metals in any negotiation if one is required. Who is available to represent the other side?¡±


    The Ninjas stopped when they came to the edge of thrown dagger range. That may have been a mistake, since the defenders had an opportunity to count them up on open ground and see only fourteen. Their low numbers, combined with the evident good health of the four visitors and the furtive behavior of the hostile strangers, imparted a confidence in the superior strength of the Redrin side which, for all that it may have been mistaken, was firmly felt.


    Perhaps the realization of the psychological blunder her people had committed caused the blonde-bunned Ninja to sound angry, or perhaps it really was the language. Either way, she held down the mouth-covering portion of her outfit to yell, ¡°Then let us be as dust. My name will go unmentioned for security reasons, and I will speak as the leader of this detachment. Our origin and purpose will also not be confirmed.¡±


    ¡°Stegzi?¡±


    ¡°No comment.¡±


    The lawyer spread his hands. ¡°I''ll put that aside. Your purpose, however, well, can''t we agree that it''s a vital point? I want to establish grounds for an agreement.¡±


    The Stegzin placed her hands in front of her, palm to palm. ¡°Pardon me. That was my mistake. I wanted to clarify that the overall purpose of my detachment will not be discussed, not our proximate objective, which is, sparing you the details and decisions leading to this confrontation, to obtain eardron. We intend to ransack your warehouses for all of it.¡± Another Ninja approached her and said something impossible to hear from the Redrin line. ¡°Again, I hope you will pardon me. I''m accustomed to a certain way of expressing things. We intend to appropriate your eardron. All of it. We will depart after leaving an amount of money equating to a fair market price according to our own determination.¡±


    ¡°Please allow me time to communicate this to an expert familiar with current eardron prices and the quantity of stock kept here.¡±


    The head ninja crossed her arms and tapped her foot, but her response was gracious. ¡°By all means.¡±


    Mohlin informed Disal esIdyuin of what had been said to that point and asked for instructions. ¡°Keep stalling.¡± That was the instruction.


    The lawyer started gesturing and mouthing the lyrics of his favorite songs to maintain the pretense of a consultation while he struggled to think up a diversionary topic, hoping the entire time none of the Stegzins had proficiency in both Yumin and lip-reading. When he believed he had something worth an attempt, he returned to the front. ¡°The available eardron may not be adequate for your needs. I would like to move this negotiation into a new field that may be more fertile than where we stand right at this particular moment. A long-term agreement has the potential to supply you with a larger quantity of eardron overall. How can we adjust our positions to bring us closer to such an agreement?¡±


    ¡°We cannot. This is again my fault for not being clear. We will take your eardron. Now.¡± The speaker raised her arm to signal her Ninjas, who, however poorly they compared to a Battler in a head-to-head confrontation, had by their previous exploits demonstrated a capacity for swift and sneaky action that threatened the future of the Olzenchipt Stavripdeu family''s horse statue.


    A horrible outcome to contemplate, which was soon prevented by a towering mass of metal armed with an ax, an Adaban armed with the ax''s twin, an owl, and some jerk. Kelnsolt Aradetnaf had arrived, and along with him a host disinclined by nature and occupation to avoid violent solutions. Not only did the mercenaries outnumber the all-but-admitted Stegzins several times over, but likely each of them outmatched any Ninja on the battlefield. Seeing them, the enemy chief turned her raised arm in a different direction to signal a maneuver quite unlike what had been anticipated.


    The call for retreat did not suffice to retrieve the situation for the Stegzins, since many of the mercenaries liked riding and loved bonuses. They spurred their horses and assorted other beasts into a charge against the Ninjas, forcing retaliation in the form of daggers, caltrops, smoke bombs, and illusion magic useless against Battlers but excellent against tigers. A brief skirmish resulted in a total rout for one side and complete disappointment for the other when none of the Stegzins left behind their heads as a proof of performance. The riders continued their pursuit, but more to prevent a regrouping of the enemy than out of an expectation of actually catching anyone.


    The eardron was safe and the bonuses unclaimed, which counted as double the victory for the management of Chunawm Metals. The employees had the satisfaction of not being killed, and Mohlin laMohlay and his associates appreciated that almost as much. Though dealing with injuries and funerals had to be done at times, they preferred other aspects of their work, such as not doing it. Altogether the crowd considered the scuffle an overwhelming victory for the condottiero and his band deserving of a celebration, but Kelnsolt was Kelnsolt, so nothing doing there. He ordered his people to get back to their stations. At least facility manager Disal esIdyuin displayed a bit of Panache.


    ¡°Fantastic. My stalling plan worked, ha ha. No, I know. I''ll tell the head office how you went above and beyond, Mr. laMohlay, and don''t think I didn''t notice the rest of you ready to defend the company''s assets with your very lives. We''re glad it didn''t come to that, aren''t we? Ha ha. Listen. I make it a custom to save some special menu items for special visitors. You fellas qualify as special today, so get ready this evening for some Yean mead, this kind of cold peach thing, and assorted delicacies I''ve built up. Now get back to work.¡±


    ¡°Hurray!¡±The workers approved of Disal esIdyuin''s short, reward-dense speech, in contrast to those of Dvanjchtliv bosses who sometimes went on so long that they forgot to give their underlings anything tangible. The regular labor resumed as ordered, the laborers full of vim and pep on account of their exhilarating break and being called special.

 47. Following Up Victory

    Wars Are Not Won In The Battle, But After It By The Choices Of All Contenders


    Meanwhile, the decision-makers converged on one spot. Kelnsolt wished to consult with the manager on possible security arrangements given the incident, the manager felt compelled to assure Lord Audnauj that sort of thing was the exception at Chunawm Metals, and Audnauj wanted to hear about a fun adventure he had missed. Dirant, Takki, Hugal, and Eyanya, for their part, wanted to tell Audnauj about their fun adventure.


    Before all that could be done, introductions were necessary, or at least socially desirable. Disal started as the highest-ranked non-Dvanjchtliv there according to his own judgment. ¡°My lord, this is a fine day to introduce Kelnsolt Aradetnaf. It will be finer when you are introduced.¡±


    Onzalkarnd completed the operation on the Audnauj side. Audnauj and Kelnsolt bowed, the latter Adabanishly and the former in a manner appropriate for a Dvanjchtliv. After that, Disal esIdyuin hesitated, unsure whether he needed to introduce the rest. That might have been difficult, since the only name of the four adventurers he remembered was that conscientious Ritualist''s.


    Said Ritualist took over with an efficient Adaban mass introduction. ¡°This opportunity is a blessing for me. Kelnsolt Aradetnaf, Battler Millim Takki Atsa, Onzalkarnd Lakchorvu Evrandistraj, Hugal laGihnal, Eyanya esAhnsay.¡± He tapped each on the shoulder as he named the person in order to deprive everyone of an excuse.


    They all bowed or curtsied as they thought proper, but even that left something undone. ¡°Is that how Adabans handle this kind of meeting?¡± Takki asked. ¡°Should I introduce you to Mr. Kelnsolt, Ressi?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Kelnsolt explained before he paused. ¡°Ressi? Are you disguised?¡±


    ¡°That''s my Pavvu Omme Os adult name. Hello, Mr. Kelnsolt.¡±


    ¡°Hello, Mr. Dirant.¡±


    That finished it up, leaving the manager free to imagine for what reason Lord Audnauj''s personal Ritualist had made the acquaintance of a Greater Enloffenkir condottiero. If only more complete introductions had been made, his confusion would have ended the moment he heard Dirant''s last name. Social niceties had their value after all.


    Dirant reported on the investigation and its results to the pleasure of Audnauj, who throughout punctuated the telling with exclamations such as, ¡°Well done, Takki,¡± ¡°Well done, Hugal,¡± and ¡°Well done, Eyanya,¡± and also to the befuddlement of Disal esIdyuin.


    ¡°We''ve gotten some inquiries from Stegzi-based firms concerning eardron recently, unusual as that is, but I don''t see what could have brought on all this. What does this mean for us, Mr. Aradetnaf?¡±


    Kelnsolt, a consummate professional, ignored the mislocated honorific. ¡°Every patrol must include a Battler. The storehouse roofs can be rigged to make them slippery. Their base of operations cannot be too far. An assault is indicated.¡± He stopped there, not out of a lack of ideas but because of the return of his riders.


    A Tiger Knight dismounted from his beast and saluted. ¡°Captain. The foe is dispersed. No losses on either side.¡± He also knew Dvanj, though perhaps not well as Kelnsolt, since he delivered the first half of that in Adaban. The rest was in Dvanj mainly to impress the client while manipulating the phrasing in such a way as to obscure the fact the mercenaries had failed to achieve the outcome they so badly desired of heavy losses on one side.


    The captain acknowledged the report. ¡°Received.¡±


    The mercenary relaxed then and circled around to get out of the way of his employer and his employer''s employer, but he spoiled his discretion a bit by bursting out laughing. ¡°Dirant Rikelta! The Bane of Wessolp! Conquer any cities lately, or do they submit upon your mere approach now? The Stegzins should have hired you. But no, I forgot. You provide subjugation as a complimentary service. Ahahaha!¡± By this point the Tiger Knight was behind Dirant, shaking him by both shoulders except for when he released his grip to give the conqueror''s back an exuberant thump more bearable by a tiger than a Ritualist.


    The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.


    Disal appeared more troubled than ever, but said nothing. Audnauj, untroubled and intrigued, did speak. ¡°I didn''t know you had a military reputation.¡±


    With no prospect of evasion, Dirant admitted it. ¡°I did once participate in a brief conflict between GE members.¡±


    ¡°As the mastermind who ended the war in a single operation,¡± the Tiger Knight elaborated.


    That impressed Audnauj. ¡°What a surprising set of skills you have. But, it''s odd. That doesn''t seem quite in your company''s line.¡±


    ¡°True. I was given twelve days off, you see.¡±


    Takki, an inveterate vacationer herself, said, ¡°You didn''t need time off to investigate the phantom debate report case or to save Lord Audnauj. Does that mean you''re becoming more efficient at having adventures?¡±


    ¡°It may be that adventures make no accommodation for the situation of the people involved,¡± opined Dirant in the doubtful tone of a student sure he was correct but less that the professor agreed.


    ¡°Talking about it like you didn''t have any choice won''t fool anyone, Ressi.¡±


    Disal had drifted away to avoid hearing more of that disturbing conversation, but Audnauj''s people stayed right there, awed.


    ¡°He took a vacation to win a war real fast.¡±


    ¡°Grenlof bosses give twelve days of conquest time per year.¡±


    ¡°Adabans.¡± Hugal and Eyanya concluded in unison, alike in their disbelief that so warlike a tribe existed.


    ¡°My actions had a deep purpose behind them,¡± Dirant claimed as Audnauj took hold of his shoulders and began to steer him toward somewhere better suited for a long talk.


    ¡°And I want to hear all about it. Let''s to the cafeteria, everyone. I suppose Mr. esIdyuin will be occupied for a good bit of time. We don''t want to interrupt their special celebration later, so this is a good time for a meal, I think.¡± The Stegzins had denied the warrior aristocrat a real battle that day, and so he insisted on at least a retelling of one.


    Dirant told his story, emphasizing the religious obligation aspect over the tears of the conquered. The Tiger Knight, Tlenk Fisklan by name, dropped by to accentuate the details he thought important.


    ¡°The mayor surrendered to this man specifically. Disloyal as it is, I must tell you the captain robbed you disgracefully. Wessolp became your city then that had no future but to suffer your will, but you gave it over without a struggle.¡±


    ¡°A struggle is not the word for it when a Symbol Knight brings his symbolic yet very real ax against the head of a Ritualist.¡± To demonstrate, Dirant cut into a roll which housed a Redrin-standard juicy filling.


    Tlenk Fisklan needed more than that to convince him. ¡°Pull up there. Do you think your class cuts you off from a life of warlike exploits? Certainly the captain and the old captain make us marvel with their strength, but that isn''t the only way. Sankazor Sinsalta, all peace upon him, enjoyed a career as a condottiero the rest of us can only envy, and he an Arbiter. Do you think Ritualist less suitable for the role, or? Join the brotherhood right away is my advice.¡±


    Takki broke off her running translation Adaban into Yumin meant for the gratification of the servants and to increase her own facility with both languages. ¡°Should you switch to that Stegzin class after all, Ressi? You could specialize in infiltration.¡±


    ¡°That''s it,¡± Tlenk affirmed. ¡°That''s it exactly. Change classes and sign on with the captain. Work off the ability debt in the patrols we are to be stuck doing. Ah, isn''t a shame? I wanted to go to Dittsen to see the exhibition. The Eight-Way Scale will be there, how I wish I could try it, and that amazing globe, and the jigsaw puzzle that can be put together in any combination but always shows a coherent picture somehow. Instead I must stay to guard against government thieves who have already departed Lesser Redrin as certainly as the bureaucracy above them yearns for regular reports.¡± The mercenaries had all concluded Stegzi itself was involved in the hostile action and persisted in saying so despite the pleas of the lawyers to shut up about it. ¡°Will my time ever be my own?¡±


    ¡°That does sound like it could be something. Why don''t you say a little more about it?¡± Audnauj was able to express his genuine interest while, by contrast, unreasonable speculation overcame Dirant. That had to be it, he knew, even though it could not possibly be it. Probability was a fable, distance was a dream, and the hands of the gods spun the world, for he felt certain the ¡°amazing globe¡± must be the thing Penneram Densos wanted a Picker with Edition Freeze to examine. He strove to collect himself in order to seek clarification on that relic in particular as the Tiger Knight told them everything he knew about the subject.

 48. A Journeys Excuse

    First The Wind Fills The Heart, Second The Mind Sets A Goal


    ¡°It''s no surprise Redrin hasn''t gotten the word, because . . . No, the captain insists on politeness. For good reasons, too. Already I''m a better person than a moment ago. Now. Normally history and art aren''t for me, and so a showing of old icons and things is precisely what I don''t care to attend, but this one promises to be truly exceptional. There''s this rich man from Yosrobzi Vugri down south on Dosoroz. He''s a man of great status in his homeland. I don''t remember his name. Starts with a V. He was seized by a desire to display his collection outside his own continent, much like Wessolp was seized by Mr. Dirant here.¡± Tlenk took a break from his narrative to slap Mr. Dirant there on the back a few more times.


    ¡°Mr. V has such a collection it will amaze everyone. So many pieces in a condition intact enough that you don''t have to rely on some academic''s description of it, I''m told. Far unlike when you read about some wall inscription that depicts a funeral procession with the priests in front and so on, but when you look yourself it''s a couple of indistinct blobs hovering around a stool.¡±


    ¡°So it''s not just me?¡± Audnauj asked.


    Takki took a conciliatory approach. ¡°They do look like that sometimes, but we can''t expect to make out all the details with a glance or two. That''s why we have experts spend more time on it.¡±


    Tlenk laughed, and if Dirant had wondered why the periodicals inevitably described the mannerisms of mercenaries as hearty, he did no longer. ¡°More time inventing tales so they can continue to publish and so. I do trust the collection is astonishing. Most exciting are the unique artifacts, and not just the ones I mentioned, either. They''re so valuable of course that he could never entrust them to a ship with the Eubosh Ashurit pirate situation as it was, but we took care of that. I do mean we, though of course Baosnesk and other states funded the endeavor. And Stegzi, so there it is again in this story. Well, of course Mr. V will display his collection there in that colony as it were of his own country, but his views are so broad and nice that he is resolved to show it somewhere on the continent proper.


    ¡°The rumors say he wanted to go to Redrin as it is so close to Yean Defiafi, the country everyone down south believes is the most sophisticated country on Egillen. Ha! That''s only a tourism strategy. Baosnesk applied to him to change his mind. Dittsen is such a wonderful city, so sophisticated, all Greater Enloffenkir would be there, Chtrebliseu and Beriskirofen are within easy reach and Yean Defiafi is just a backwater with skill in promotion really. That sort of thing. He doubted their grand claims, but the way they managed the pirates was quite convincing. Then when word got out of how Redrin had its warship plans stolen, what choice was there to make? Here''s to Redrin''s security!¡± He pretended to choke himself, a gesture which counted as polite in the mercenary world.


    ¡°That only just happened when we were in Swachtipl! A week ago, wasn''t it? The way news gets around in our modern era is astonishing,¡± Takki marveled.


    ¡°Humiliating too.¡± Audnauj did not seem terribly humiliated when he added that, though people handle such feelings in various ways. ¡°Dittsen, eh? A wonderful city, you say?¡±


    ¡°I''ve never been there, but everyone says it is so,¡± Tlenk admitted.


    Dirant backed him up. ¡°The Crown of the South it is called, and not only by its residents. Baosnesk is one of the more prosperous states by itself, and more than that, a dozen or so Ottkir states vote with it dependably. Political observers have labeled the arrangement a confederation within the confederation. Some decades ago, Baosnesk decided to overhaul its great port city altogether that it might properly reflect the prestige of that state. They say Dittsen now is nothing but marble and unmissable social events. All that is well established. What I want to hear more about is the nature of that marvelous globe.¡±


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    ¡°Dirant Rikelta, I knew you were born with a sense of the important as far back as when I pretended to check you and the captain for contraband!¡± The mercenary seized him by the shoulder and shook him like a tiger does its prey, possibly. Only a Tiger Knight would be able to approve or reject the comparison. The act startled some employees who had entered the cafeteria for a little refreshment, but they relaxed upon realizing who was doing it to whom. Adabans and their savage displays were best left alone. ¡°Relics like that are the only indispensable thing in this world. Now the nature of the globe is that it shows the world exactly as it is at all times. They say it''s about the size of your head, which makes it much smaller than the old captain''s head. Don''t tell me you don''t want to look at it. I hate lies.¡±


    That settled the matter. The meeting of Picker and globe must be brought about, and transporting the former over to the latter by means of a voyage of three days or so seemed the easier course compared to convincing the owner to visit Dwecosptichdeu. Yet how to accomplish it? Dirant could not conceive where to begin. Realizing that, he decided to blurt out his desire in the hope that an astonishingly convenient occurrence would solve the problem, which seemed more expectation than hope with things going as they were. ¡°What I really want is for a Picker with Edition Freeze to look at it. Doing so will facilitate a ritual intended to slow the degradation of reality which may be conducted only by a Ritualist possessing a level no lower than 50. One such colleague who lives on another continent requested I look into the matter on his behalf.¡±


    Though other listeners debated with themselves whether Dirant was making an Adaban joke, Takki took it seriously from the start. She had always considered Ritualists enigmatic, and his bold claims fit in with her conception of the class. ¡°Are you sure about all that, Ressi? Oh, I also want to see it, of course. What I mean is, is all that true?¡±


    ¡°It''s true for certain that I spoke to a 50 Ritualist who requests that I find a Picker with Edition Freeze for him. He is inquiring into the globe''s location himself, or so he asserts, and must be surprised when I tell him I learned it. I believe also, with less confidence however, that he lives on another continent, that he wishes to perform a genuine ritual, and that he believes the Picker and the globe are desired for it, though they are not explicit components of the ritual. It is likely he is correct in all this. However, I must proffer this caution that while a Ritualist is able to determine whether a ritual presented to him will function, by no method whatsoever can we guarantee the actual result of it beforehand. The requester of the ritual must accept all consequences for its successful completion, preferably in writing.¡±


    ¡°Ressi, I want you to know that really sounds mysterious.¡± Takki appeared to be vibrating in her seat.


    ¡°It does, but what''s that about a puzzle?¡± Audnauj listened to Tlenk''s fuller description while Dirant and Takki caught the Yumins up on all that Adaban talk.


    ¡°I have Edition Freeze.¡± An employee sitting farther down the table behind a glass of water crowned by a single chunk of ice, another product of wondrous ritualism so expensive that most employees retired without ever being permitted two chunks at a time, raised his right hand when he heard that. The left held a straw hat he was using to fan himself, an action he considered more important than its usual role of covering his thinning brown hair. ¡°And the family would love a trip to Dittsen. Too bad I could never afford it.¡± He sighed, an action that seemed habitual for him though usually caused by low-quality eardron.


    Dirant dropped his translation and stared at the man. Without changing the target of his gaze he said, ¡°Lord Audnauj, I must make an unreasonable request.¡±


    ¡°No need for that. I''ll see what I can do. You know, metals aside, Chunawm Metals might go into the iced tea trade. Mm.¡±

 49. Across The Arch Sea

    Severed Were The Islands From Egillen''s War-Crossed Mass That Somewhere Might Be Peace Remembered


    Aboard the Foam Stallion two days later, Millim Takki Atsa joined Dirant Rikelta on deck to seek relief from a certain worry she had conceived. ¡°We''re sailing to Dittsen,¡± she began. An albatross glided overhead, a contrast against the pale blue sky until it was all but lost to sight when it flew before clouds so grand in their magnitude they might have concealed the fanciful palaces and towers of an unearthly realm within them. Closer to the pair, two children around ten years of age played on the deck. They were watched indulgently by their parents, amusedly by the sailors, and by Captain Reivsawm Hoidchaj Neuchipt Shchavliraj as little as possible. Watching them board in the first place had tested his forbearance enough, however much eminent Picker Foshkay laGabohnsay and his wife had apologized for the imposition.


    The presence of the parents disturbed the captain less than their children''s only on account of Lord Audnauj''s effusive testimony regarding the assistance Mr. laGabohnsay had provided during the arduous eardron selection process. With that completed to the satisfaction of both Audnauj and Chunawm Metals, the former was free to stop in Dittsen before he returned to Yean Defiafi to check on the horse statue''s progress while the latter could see its way to giving its star categorizer some time off in response to the former''s weighty request.


    ¡°That is true. Even I perceive it, and yet any speed the sailors tell me seems credible with my knowledge.¡±


    ¡°Dittsen is a port city in Baosnesk.¡±


    ¡°Your statement comports with reality, unless there have been great changes in the world while we, ignorant, sailed around the Arch Sea.¡±


    ¡°I''m working up to something. Baosnesk is a member of the Adaban confederacy.¡±


    ¡°I apologize. We prefer to call it Greater Enloffenkir, and it is so.¡±


    ¡°Isn''t that a problem? Nobody''s acting like it is, but Redrin and Greater Enloffenkir have a troubled relationship, don''t they?¡±


    Dirant rejoiced at an opportunity to dispel Takki''s anxiety. ¡°Ah. There is no problem, as the trouble is on one side only. It is just the same as when I am commanded to watch the boy by his mother. Naturally all his activities vex and worry me, while to him I am nothing but his older brother and a playmate beside. I fear I placed my people on the wrong side of that analogy, so please forget it.¡±


    ¡°I''m sorry Ressi, but you summed up the situation far too well for me to do that. The peek into your family life was tantalizing as well. You should share it with everyone to soften your image.¡± While Takki did not look terribly sorry, she lacked also her usual humor-related bounciness. Dirant therefore suspected that to be sincere advice.


    ¡°An idea, certainly. Another is to leave that as your own exclusive glimpse into my true character, and that only because I have not yet learned of any ritual to erase a target''s memory. I don''t say there is anything wrong with a domestic character, and yet I must uphold my reputation as a genius of war, since mocking me over it is the sole entertainment for all Yumins on the continent without exception.¡±


    Their positions then reversed. Takki felt compelled to relieve his disgruntlement, though she did not rejoice at the chance but rather regretted he had suffered at all. ¡°But don''t you think that''s their way of dealing with the shock of hearing about the violent history of someone they previously considered a paragon of civility, cosmopolitanism, and consideration for others? The ceaseless ridicule is your welcome back into peaceful society, like in the tale of Poie Massu Ikke.¡±


    ¡°Perhaps you are right. I am unaware of that tale however, and I suspect that is generally the case among Yumins as well.¡±


    ¡°Oh, that''s unfortunate. It''s a cute story. Let''s go find the others so I can tell it to all of you at once.¡±


    ¡°Very good, and does that include Mr. laGabohnsay''s family?¡±


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    ¡°I hope it will.¡±


    In such tranquility did voyages fare over the western stretch of the Arch Sea and the Aozur Sea even farther west as never would have been imagined a mere month before. Every person either aboard or associated with a ship, boat, or raft out on the placid, pirate-free waters owed a debt impossible to discharge to Stegzi, Baosnesk with its assortment of Ottkir states, and the dashing condottieri hired to assist the armies and navies of those resourceful countries. Most did realize it and prayed for the felicity of the participants, or at least of the condottieri. Borders on a map and cultural differences did nothing to disrupt a universal sentiment that those guys were cool and intriguing, the occasional defect with 8 Panache notwithstanding.


    Owing to the boldness of righteous men, none of the passengers or crew suffered harm or even nightmares except for the captain, whose dreams involved the Foam Stallion being sunk by tiny devils riding horses in such a way that the blame fell on him. Another sea traveler had neither nightmares nor pleasant dreams for the reason that a veteran Ritualist summoned him to a bi-continental conference.


    ¡°Dirant Rikelta. What a pleasure that you accepted my invitation. I still haven''t figured out how to give you a choice though.¡± Dirant had only ever seen Penneram Densos in a good mood, and the streak continued. ¡°Divine Guidance (Hunch) is so unreliable, but it always works every time it works. I hope it did this time. I''m looking forward to your bewilderingly happy news.¡±


    Dirant was getting a good amount of rejoicing done that day. ¡°Everything is resolved.¡±


    ¡°Incredible!¡±


    The junior Ritualist''s detailed explanation satisfied Penneram Densos''s expectations and then surpassed them as a bonus. ¡°To think I just set up my Worldwide Edition Freeze Alert Ritual. I can''t show it to you here, but the way it works is that a plate is suspended in the air by flux forces. If the entire world is subjected to Edition Freeze, the plate will fall. With that, I''m ready anytime to finish the Delivery Ritual. You might think a 50 Ritualist wouldn''t be able to clear his calendar easily. Believe me when I tell you that''s a misconception.¡±


    ¡°The contrary would be my guess. At that point, every potential employer must think you too expensive to hire.¡±


    ¡°I see you know about business. I''ve only ever dealt with things as they came up, so I was surprised when I fell victim to this phenomenon. Can you give me any advice about breaking out of that box? Once this project is done, I wouldn''t mind doing a ritual on commission here and there.¡±


    The discussion between the two about the financial side of ritualism went on perhaps too long, since when next the sun visited the Arch Sea Dirant struggled to wake up and stay that way. Fortunately, no one needed him for anything, a state which might have been considered dispiriting in other circumstances.


    Captain Reivsawm Hoidchaj Neuchipt Shchavliraj''s masterful seamanship ensured a direct passage to Lord Audnauj''s destination for all that intrusive winds believed his Foam Stallion ought to have taken a more westerly course to land somewhere in Chtrebliseu. More ambitious yet, what about a trip north along the continent''s western coast up to Saueyi? No. Dittsen. Once again human invention and skill bested nature, just as reason had outperformed superstition back in Lesser Redrin if not in certain other locations.


    Though it lacked the modern harbor facilities Dwecosptichdeu boasted, Baosnesk''s chief port awed the casual observer more because of its overwhelming traffic. Such a profusion of sails crowded the harbor and coast for as far as a sailor could make out that it seemed there the clouds had descended to drink from the sea, thirsty from their tireless work made harder to endure by the heat of the noon sun in withstanding the winds which sought to sweep all decoration from the sky. Coast-hugging hulks carried cargo to and from other ports in Greater Enloffenkir and Chtrebliseu, ocean-goers similar to the Foam Stallion ferried choicer goods to remoter countries such as Drastlif and Swadvanchdeu, schooners built in Ililesh Ashurin transported mail and passengers from more and more lands as the design caught on, and warships patrolled that belonged to the local fleet, weak as it was compared to Redrin''s.


    Someone with the will to look away from the splendor of sails and masts could see above them projections more prominent yet, for the spires of Dittsen proper showed courtesy to genuine clouds by rising to greet them rather than demanding they lower themselves to a city they were accustomed to favor with rain rather than their lofty presence. Even Dirant Rikelta, habituated to Greater Enloffenkir architecture for obvious reasons, was impressed when he began to comprehend the magnitude in every direction of Dittsen''s grand edifices. Leaving aside their excessive size, they differed from the Fennizen standard in the evident willingness of the people behind them to lay down extra money for cosmetic improvements. Intricate cornices, statues on either side of arched portals, and elaborate murals glorified the city to such a degree that Dirant''s home city, one of the richest in the confederation, resembled in comparison a refuge where religious ascetics gathered who considered grottoes and forests too luxurious for their contemplations. On the other hand, Dirant preferred mabonnpaper to the glass employed there, though doubtless gales from the Arch Sea made its use impractical.

 50. Dittsen And Its Attractions

    Being A Guide For The Traveler Who Wishes Both To See And To Understand Rather Than The Former Alone


    Once disembarked and on the city streets, the travelers remained silent for a time. Most of them. Not Foshkay laGabohnsay''s son and daughter, and of course not the very Jalpi Peffu Millim Takki Atsa, all three of whom voiced their opinions without inhibition. The kids thought it was boring. Takki disagreed.


    ¡°When our father told us it was marble that first made him interested in Adaban history, we used to giggle and tease him over what a silly thing that was to say. I have to apologize when I get home. Dittsen is . . . It''s just so . . . I really don''t know what it is.¡± As much as her appreciation of his people''s skill in building and composition cheered Dirant, the effect was blunted by the fact that these were not his people at all, but rather Ottkirs. Only a little though, since he was prepared to accept Ottkirs as Adabans whatever they themselves thought about it.


    At last the adult Redrins found something to say. ¡°Yeah, well, I bet they don''t have a fun party when a house goes up,¡± Hugal scoffed.


    ¡°There''s no way anybody even notices. This city is too impersonal. Pfft.¡± Eyanya refrained from spitting even as she conveyed the impression she thought Dittsen deserved it.


    With that, the spell of intimidation owing to obvious inferiority shattered, as when a Ritualist performs a revocation ritual to prepare yams for immediate sale and undoes the effect which held them safe yet inedible. The Yumins, their confidence restored, began to admire their surroundings with the unaffected glee of the tourist with no other business. Audnauj did as well, though Onzalkarnd for his part always had his duty before him and therefore disliked looking upward.


    Audnauj was straining his neck more than he ever had in his life when he said, ¡°Onzalkarnd, why shouldn''t we go together to look for a hotel to put up at? There, that''s taken care of. Dirant, can I ask you to play tour guide for my people? I know you''re not from here exactly, but you can get around well enough, surely.¡± Audnauj leaned closer to Dirant and lowered his voice. ¡°I''m not saying I think my servants would get into predicaments on their own, but now that I''ve gotten this far, I am saying that after all. I wish you''d herd them for me. We''ll meet up, hm, somewhere.¡±


    ¡°There is a clock tower convenient for the purpose.¡± Dirant nodded toward it. ¡°At the third chime should be time enough, or?¡±


    ¡°That''s just what I was thinking. We''re off!¡± Audnauj strode away, turned back, handed Dirant a purse, ¡°If you end up needing to feed them,¡± and strode away again. Onzalkarnd tried to look dignified as he followed, a difficult task for a chief attendant who needed to be led around by his master. It was only a slight difference in Adaban proficiency that set them apart, but a proper servant in his view ought never to be Intermediate where his superior was Fluent.


    Dirant suspected that he would need to feed them. Moreover, he wanted to. Several shocking conversations during the sea journey revealed, against all his expectations or rather his fundamental conception of human experience, that only a few of his fellow passengers had ever eaten cornbread. His duty then became to rectify that, and the duty of any restaurant within Greater Enloffenkir to assist him.


    There were two difficulties, or perhaps one difficulty with two prongs. To him of course, who was back in his normal ensemble and letting his hair grow back, any restaurant was open. To foreigners and children some doors might be closed, more so to the latter in a metropolis used to visits from the wealthy and influential from abroad. However, just as Audnauj had anticipated, Dirant knew a solution.


    Immediately he began to pilot his charges away from the upscale district near the harbor. He wanted mid-scale office buildings full of clerks and managers, the sort of middle-to-do family men who wanted a serviceable meal when their cook was visiting relatives or did not exist and often found it in a restaurant that implied itself to be of Chtrebliseuan origin with some name like ¡°The Fiery Pony¡± or ¡°Hot to Trot.¡± Such business always allowed children, if they did not provide amusements specifically designed for them. Every major city in Greater Enloffenkir had at least a thousand it seemed, and all were run by families that had left one of the far southern states, perhaps after a poor yam harvest. The dishes they offered blended the culinary inclinations of Chtrebliseu and Adabans understood broadly. That meant the peppers and meat were wrapped up together with pickled vegetables either inside or next to some cornbread. College boys called those establishments border stops, either affectionately or derisively depending on whether they were trying to impress a girl at the time.


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    None of his devious calculations prevented Dirant from pointing out what the sights around them probably were after the manner of a proper guide. ¡°That is certainly a collection of rentable offices. Observe how activity is seen up all seven stories, and yet there are windows dark and covered by drapes even on the first and second. Those are facilities awaiting a firm that has money and need of them, you can be sure.


    ¡°Over leftward, that long building with the sharp pitch to its roof might resemble the stables of the Redrin lords or a temple beloved by the oligarchs of Drastlif, and so naturally in this country it is a warehouse. Without looking inside I am certain it stores luxuries intended for the well-budgeted which, in inland cities, would be sold in a store staffed by women who smile and are happy to learn the customer''s name. Furniture, tapestries, sets of pens with high-quality ink, and so. The Ottkir, excuse me, Adaban possessed of wealth and confidence in his own competence in handling it concludes that such trumpery must necessarily drive up the price and prefers to buy the goods as close to the source as possible. Warehouses of this sort are provided with decorations, chairs, and show areas in the expectation buyers will come there directly. I can assure you the prices there are just as high as they would be elsewhere.


    ¡°At this moment we pass a park. The land''s value surely would be significant if developed, and so it is all the more generous of the owner to allow the public to enter. Though we cannot see it from the street, there is a statue within commemorating some worthy of the town, a person famous and respected who is fit to be a model for youth grasping at virtue and who happens to be an ancestor of the owner. The park bears the name of that favorite local son or daughter as well. I know all this despite arriving for the first time in Dittsen this very day.¡±


    The audience overall did not find his lectures captivating, although one of the Yumin servants had a notebook out, his glasses on, and an interested look. Yunay laDornsal''s actual title remained obscure to Dirant, but his job involved checking to make sure vendors did not take too much advantage of Lord Audnauj. Under-steward? Senior Price Double-Checker? The rest of the crowd preferred to examine parks thoroughly over having them subjected to university cynicism. Dirant acceded to their wishes, and all enjoyed their trip along a walkway that wound under shade trees in a spiral that terminated at a statue of a man whose grim expression showed him to be a responsible handler of weighty matters, unlike the frivolous politicians of today.


    Dirant, a consummate guide already, knew something to say about that as well. ¡°Doubtless the marigold is his family''s particular flower and was chosen to surround his monument for that reason. Ottkir lineages often select family flowers for themselves, and some other households around Greater Enloffenkir have adopted the fashion.¡±


    Takki raised her hand. ¡°But the Rikeltas went with an animal instead. Right, Ressi?¡±


    ¡°Evidently so. I wonder, if our patriarch sold Stadeskosken, whether he would insist as a condition of the sale that the name and otter logo be preserved.¡±


    The travelers spiraled their way back out of the park and proceeded into a less ritzy part of town with less marble, more brick, and increased modesty shown by its spires. Dirant found what he wanted before he even asked the first passerby who looked like he sat for hours at a time for a recommendation. A place called ¡°Belgsavdoi¡± according to the Chtrebliseu-like vertical banner posted beside the door attracted his attention.


    ¡°I have two questions,¡± Hugal said when Dirant made clear his intention for them to eat there.


    ¡°I''ll take one of them,¡± Eyanya volunteered. ¡°What kind of name is that for an eatery? ¡°Stouts''?¡± Where''s the noun? Why is it dual? Do they only feed you if your husband''s with you?¡±


    ¡°That was one of them. The other is why don''t you want us to get some Adaban food? Is it that terrible? Or . . .¡± Hugal placed a firm hand on Dirant''s shoulder. ¡°You think it''s too good for us?¡±


    ¡°Both have the same answer. There is an eight out of ten chance this place is run by Riks and a four out of ten chance it''s run by Ottkirs. You may think my numbers off, and you are wrong. Probably the proprietors are both fat, and if you know a better indication of a good restaurant, this is the time to tell me.¡±


    ¡°He fell for it, Hugal.¡±


    ¡°That''s right, Eyanya. Now that all of Grenlof''s secrets are laid bare, the invasion can commence.¡±


    And it did, a culinary invasion the robust Rik husband and his Ottkir wife were glad to experience. They also accepted the praise the foreigners had for the meal, and if their pleasure was greater than Dirant''s on account of being unaware the people saying it had just escaped a three-day sea voyage, it was at the same time less because they had not picked the place out. The children enjoyed the little spinner built into a few of the tables, intended according to Dirant to help decide who should pay in the event of a disagreement among the diners, and the under-steward marveled that the cost of feeding sixteen people eager for the comforts of land came out to under three miskhanen.


    ¡°What that comes out to in Redrin money is unclear to me,¡± Dirant said. ¡°I must seek compensation later. These coins all seem about the same in my estimation, and that is why I am not allowed near the company finances.¡±

 51. On The Exhibition Of Objects Of Artistic And Scholarly Importance To The Public

    And How Best To Restrict The Public In Such A Way As To Ensure A Desirable Audience


    Perhaps Stadeskosken ought to have transferred him to the hospitality department, since he managed to get his sheep to the rendezvous safe and on time after some sightseeing, a task often impossible even without the involvement of children, Yumins, or Yumin children. Audnauj and Onzalkarnd made the appointment also, the former looking disgruntled and slightly bewildered, a condition called disgwilderment by nobody.


    ¡°I don''t usually trouble myself much about my room. A bed and a bushel of fodder are enough for anyone on the road. Still, I thought I should make a bit of a showing as a lord of Redrin, so off to the fanciest hotel in Dittsen I went after I saw a few brochures agree on it. Well, it''s fully booked. No matter, on to the second, you say? That''s just what I did, but it''s the same there. The third, likewise. Had to settle for the sixth-fanciest in the end.¡±


    Sympathy brought Dirant Rikelta closer in feeling to Audnauj than ever before. He did everything he could to cheer up the disappointed noble on their way to Millennium House, a hotel rated highly in every periodical that dealt with relevant topics such as cuisine, bellboy politeness, the quality of pillow stuffing, and general bed hugeness. Sixth in Dittsen qualified as first in most cities, Dirant claimed, unsure if it was true until they arrived. It was true. The beds were huge.


    The hotel also offered maps for the convenience of its many foreign guests. Important people sought with those the whereabouts of Nifkir''s Pillar where the special collection was to be presented while their servants used them to navigate, for example, to the docked Foam Stallion and back with the finest clothes Lord Audnauj''s retinue possessed. That included even some non-gray attire for the Yumins in case Nifkir''s Pillar policy restricted servants from entering the grounds. Dirant did not bother explaining Greater Enloffenkir did not hold to the convention of reserving gray for servants out of concern the revelation would diminish the impact of Audnauj''s consideration in having the backup attire prepared.


    That evening, everyone headed for the Pillar dressed in the best available. The Yumins mostly opted for pink, blue, or a combination thereof, Takki brought out a little jewelry, Dirant left his rucksack behind, and Audnauj Olzenchipt Stavripdeu Blawraj looked good wherever he went. So did Onzalkarnd, but less so, both by contrivance and the whims of nature.


    Nifkir''s Pillar did not take its name from its shape, but rather from the ambition of its builders that it become the foremost edifice dedicated to the pursuits of Nifkir, a goddess of luxury and theater, and probably also of some class or other under another name. A notion came to Dirant that he had already seen her in association with a class, but a firmer memory eluded him as he viewed the slender spires of the five-story testament to the city''s opulence, to say nothing of its gilded reliefs that showed processions of actors, charioteers, singers, and revelers bound to an endless circuit of the marble exterior, their eyes bright with gems. The brochure he had picked up listed precisely which gems. It further informed him also that the Pillar''s purpose was to welcome participants and elite spectators of races, regattas, and theater performances to after-parties held among treasures of art the interior had been designed to show off to best effect in terms of angles and lighting. Its various rooms differed in their layouts so that any object might be placed in an ideal display area regardless of whether it ought to be viewed from one side, all sides, the top, the bottom, in darkness or in blinding brilliance, and so on.


    The crowds outside displayed themselves nearly as favorably. Some presented for public inspection jewelry or gold-threaded costumes obvious as to their outrageous cost, while others preferred to wear tailored apparel that the common man might not even realize to be beyond the budget of smaller states without the bill in hand. Beyond their dress, it was the civility of the affair that proved the quality of the attendees, since all were either too rich or too busy pretending to be rich to bother shoving and shouting.


    That disappointed the Yumins, but they fit their behavior to the atmosphere of the occasion so as not to embarrass their master. Or their benefactor, in the case of Foshkay laGabohnsay, who deposited his family with the servants while he attended Lord Audnauj, Millim Takki Atsa, and Dirant Rikelta during their search for the globe or its owner.


    ¡°Vogdi JomOdro, if this brochure has it right.¡± Audnauj slapped the thing despite its unremitting helpfulness. ¡°Is that Jom part like ''la'' or ''es,'' do you think? In Yumin names, I mean.¡±


    ¡°A patronymic?¡± Takki may have sounded a little detached from the conversation, but only because the chance of a mystery popping up in a setting such as that must approach one as the night went on. ¡°Maybe. Isn''t ''-raj'' identical?¡±


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    ¡°Not at all. That goes on the end.¡±


    ¡°Oh. That was silly of me. Wait. Was it?¡±


    Dirant reassured her it was a matter of prioritization of interlocking factors rather than silliness versus sobriety as they entered the monument to the arts and excess. Vogdi JomOdro''s collection justified the pomp, for the cultural output of his home continent''s ancient denizens, added to his acquisitions from elsewhere, strained even the Pillar''s floor space. Half-faded frescoes recovered from ruins hung next to tapestries both genuine and reconstructed; antique implements of agricultural, ceremonial, and hygienic significance had their places in recessed niches; and never did two walls meet but that there was in the corner some statue or mannequin wearing clothes of a cut last seen eight centuries ago at the earliest before being brought back to public view based on examples reclaimed from ancient wardrobes and friezes.


    ¡°Lord Audnauj, has your family considered financing works of art such as this rather than ones of an equine nature exclusively?¡± Dirant asked in front of a city model carved in jade by the cunning hands of craftsmen whose techniques matched or even exceeded those of the moderns. According to an informational placard, it had been found in the ruins of the city it depicted and provided valuable insight into the civil engineering of the time, quite aside from its worth as an ornament for Vogdi JomOdro''s drawing room.


    ¡°We''ve considered it, yes.¡± The lack of passion in his tone suggested he, for one, was disinclined to pursue the idea further.


    ¡°The Myriad Puzzle is on the second floor according to this notice. I don''t see anything about your globe, Ressi, but do we want to ascend?¡± Takki obviously did, and no one objected.


    The next floor featured entertainments from the past, some of them enjoyed right up to the present day. Marbles, for instance. Primitive tops much cruder than the ones modern children ignored. The dice on display however shamed contemporary types, which featured only pips on their sides rather than miniature paintings of creatures blessed with unusual numbers of eyes.


    In the center of the largest room on the floor, typically used for banquets, the divine puzzle was displayed in a glass case orbited by other cases which contained replicas to serve as examples of how the puzzle looked when put together. Though its divinity had never been established through sophisticated contemporary techniques such as speculation in academic journals, many who otherwise scoffed at the improbable claims of religion perceived something miraculous in a single puzzle that variably depicted a lord''s visit to a peaceful town, a clash at sea between boats rich in oars, flames devouring a mighty forest, and an impetuous cavalry charge down a mountain''s treacherous slopes. Those were but four of the nine variations represented, and the sign insisted more than those had been discovered.


    ¡°Impractical as it would be with regard to this relic, I prefer to put them together myself than to have the picture spoiled.¡± Dirant did look at the examples, but they did not thrill him as much as they might have.


    ¡°I agree with you there. I hope I can get a crack at it myself,¡± Audnauj said.


    ¡°We can''t just brush practicality aside like that,¡± Takki objected. ¡°They should have teams working on the puzzle at all hours to discover every combination of pieces. They can seal off the area with glass so we can watch them work. That''s how progress happens.¡±


    Foshkay laGabohnsay coughed. The other three were using Yumin to accommodate him, and emboldened by their consideration, he dared to offer an opinion. ¡°Projects do usually turn out better when they have consistent manpower on a regular schedule. If you leave it slack and then hire a bunch of people to make up for it, well, they won''t.¡±


    ¡°Exactly. What do you two gentlemen think about that?¡± Takki held herself loose in the customary manner of a Battler facing opponents she expected to defeat, but only after a heated contest.


    Dirant answered. ¡°There is no argument whether you two are correct about the best means to reach a certain end. It''s the end where the disagreement is. I want to put together a puzzle with friends.¡±


    ¡°Just the same for me.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Lord Audnauj. Furthermore, I don''t believe there''s any progress to be made. This puzzle is designed, whether by mortal hands or the gods, for the same purpose as all puzzles. There is nothing more to learn.¡±


    ¡°But that''s just what we don''t know, Ressi! Not for sure.¡±


    The debate lasted them throughout the climb up to the third floor where items thought to be of a purely religious nature had been laid out for study. The attendees there seemed to be cast from a more sober mold than the ones below, for the most part either intensely interested in the artifacts displayed or absorbed in prayer. Dirant joined them in silence when he beheld the idols from the Hoduuri civilization.


    The statuettes, each five or so inches tall, stood in pairs on shelves next to placards that described as much as was known of the practices of that ancient, vanished tribe which once lived on the Dosoroz continent. Even their name, Hoduuri, was simply a word signifying ¡°ancient¡± in Yosribdi because no evidence what they called themselves had been unearthed. The most common artifacts found in their ruins were pots, some of them intact. After those came icons usually made of clay but sometimes of copper, iron, or other materials. They were customarily matched in twos to represent two aspects of one god, or so it was believed. For instance, scholars conjectured one little guy with huge calves depicted Joudobansbo the Runner while a similar fellow outfitted with unreasonable arms represented Joudobansbo the Swimmer. Dirant knew no Joudobansbo or any other Yosribdi names for gods, but in the rows of the display he recognized the idol depicting Avans the Creator. Or rather, he recognized some of its features that led him to make certain conclusions about what belonged in the empty spot next to it, which was labeled ¡°Avans the Watcher (Theorized).¡±

 52. An Archaeological Discovery

    Progress Often Is The Result, Not Of Something Novel Being Found, Bur Rather When The Value Of Something Long Known Is Later Realized


    ¡°I may own one of these,¡± he commented.


    ¡°No you don''t,¡± Takki said. Then his peculiar tone caused her to reassess her response. ¡°Do you? I''m sorry if that sounded dismissive. I thought you were making a joke.¡±


    ¡°Are my jokes that insubstantial? We must speak more on that later. I do own a statue similar to these in style, and identical to this one in particular in nearly all respects. I took it from an otter. Whether it is a genuine ancient artifact I cannot say. Will you continue looking for the globe while I fetch it?¡±


    ¡°Ressi! You told me you couldn''t invent mysteries at will. Hurry up!¡± At Takki''s jubilant urging he walked as fast as he judged seemly down the stairs to the first floor, exited, passed through the attendees either taking breaks in the cool evening outdoors or waiting for late arrivals, and dashed at top speed toward the Millennium House once he cleared the grounds. The top speed of a 34 Muscle Ritualist impressed sloths and no other beast of the field or sky, but he returned with his statuette box in hand before Audnauj, Takki, and Mr. laGabohnsay finished their inspection of the fourth floor, which was given over to divination. They agreed the icon resembled those on display but could say nothing authoritative.


    Fortune-telling and scamming were terms also used by the milling exhibit-enjoyers who possessed nothing of the gravity felt a floor down. Instead, men and women giggled and laughed as they investigated the gathered tools and methods. Sky charts labeled with the names of constellations drawn from various cultures across history as determined by historians unafraid to guess, knives for extracting the organs of cattle along with texts to explain their various meanings, monstrous bones painted and carved which some soothsayer once threw to the ground in the fullest expectation of a practicable result, a metal plate etched with designs of unknown import, and far more, much of it difficult to understand, reflected humanity''s desperation to predict what was to come. The Eight-Way Scale occupied the place of honor there, and unlike the Myriad Puzzle, select attendees had permission to try it out and see in which of eight directions their futures tended.


    ¡°Forgive my knowledge of politics, as none would be better, when I say that looks like the Kitslof representative in the Entessihotka at the Scale now.¡± Dirant knew that only because Stadeskosken had moved a piano for that luminary on a day when nothing had needed preserving.


    ¡°We''re in more exalted company than I thought,¡± Audnauj said. ¡°Makes me feel silly for presuming I''d stand out in some way.¡±


    Perceiving that Mr. laGabohnsay seemed ill at ease, Dirant guessed at the reason and decided to apply some exposition. ¡°Though in some ways the general assembly known as the Entessihotka compares to the peerage of Redrin, that is only when it actually sits in deliberation. Furthermore, its composition changes regularly and consequently its representatives are not held in such esteem as lords are.¡± That ought to solve the problem if the Picker felt uncomfortable at having no idea what was being discussed. If instead the man was working up his courage to ask where the closest facilities for private relief might be, there are some battles a man must fight alone.


    Some other allegedly divine relics ruled over other rooms on the fourth floor, inscrutable as to their function and eerie when their impeccable condition was considered. Scholars guessed they had something to do with divination more because so many other items did than from any real evidence. Since the function of the globe was well understood, it was not included among them.


    The fifth floor fell short as far as enchanting exhibits. The first room they visited contained some weapons and armor, the second coverings draped over cases not ready to be viewed, and the third some Stegzins. The keen observer might have noticed that for all the long, clinging silk dresses on the women and silk shirts equipped with ruffles on the men, they carried themselves like security personnel. The experienced observer, on the other hand, looked right at a woman whose long, golden hair covered her perhaps more than did her dress and recognized her as the leader of a band of attempted eardron thieves.


    The gasps of the newcomers drew her attention, and she responded in kind. Then she rattled off some imperative-sounding words to one of her people, tried to cover her face nonchalantly with her elbow, gave up on that, and turned three-quarters away from the witnesses. The Stegzin man, presumably acting on her orders, addressed the four visitors in Dvanj. ¡°We are very sorry, but we are in the position of having to restrict access to this floor.¡±


    Audnauj looked around at the other attendees gliding from room to room. ¡°No, I don''t think so. Definitely not, in fact. Say, is it true you fellows have a special class called Ninja? Exciting stuff. What do you charge for lessons if I can find someone qualified for it? That would really get people talking if I showed up with one at the next mustering.¡±


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    The Stegzin gaggle tromped over like an animal with twenty feet. Their blonde-headed head began to hiss words her underling translated at a similar volume. ¡°Dust should get along with dust. That''s a standard greeting for strangers meeting for the first time, which we are, and anyone who tries to contradict that will cause a lot of trouble so there''s no reason to do it and ANYWAY if we had met, you would have been interrupting a very important endeavor to fortify this exhibition so don''t think anyone would thank you.¡±


    ¡°That''s a lot to take in, but it''s clearly wrong. Did Mr. Vogdi JomOdro order you to engage in a lot of thuggery in Lesser Redrin? That was grounds for a serious incident between our countries, you know. In fact, I think I have to insist you come with me.¡± Lord Audnauj Olzenchipt Stavripdeu Blawraj began to draw the sword nobody on the staff had been brave enough to try taking away from him. Battler Millim Takki Atsa, for her part, had left her halberd in the hotel because it clashed with her rings, but her fists versus a Ninja was a fight with which no bookmaker would bother.


    The blonde lady turned directly toward them and began gesturing with every limb available to her. Though unfamiliar with Yosribdi, the four in front of read a message in her wild eyes: ¡°I am panicking right now. This is terrible. Accepting this assignment was a mistake.¡± The translation turned out a bit different, but the subtext was there.


    ¡°I''ll concede so we can get somewhere. My name is Deli?ra? JemmzIszti. I have been acting as the officer of a detachment of elite infiltrators to conduct an operation in Stegzi''s state interest that is not at all opposed to Redrin''s, though I understand why you would think so.¡±


    ¡°Yes. It is because you attacked us.¡± Dirant''s logic impressed most listeners including Takki, who would have nodded had she not refused to make any motion that might compromise her readiness for the potential upcoming fight.


    ¡°Nobody got hurt! We wanted eardron and nothing else. We were going to rig up an alarm system our technical department devised. If something happens to Mr. JomOdro or his collection while they''re under our protection, and if they hear about it in Yosrobzi Vugri, Stegzi might stop being Stegzi before too long. We rely on the kindness of all our beautiful near-neighbors not to turn us into a province. In that same spirit we tried to buy eardron legitimately, but Chunawm Metals told us it was all earmarked for some ridiculous horse statue. Isn''t that funny?¡± Her laughter sounded a little uncontrolled in pitch. The translator did not attempt to replicate it.


    ¡°Well!¡± Audnauj was taken aback. Dirant acted to defend him.


    ¡°It is no easy job you have to persuade us your needs ought to be preferred over those of a lordly house even to the extent of asking us to overlook more felonies than my lack of legal education has prepared me to name. I am not insensible to the chagrin doubtless felt at the indefensible position your responsibilities have constrained you to embrace, and please understand that I do not imagine everything you say to be your authentic opinion. Even so, I must point out you made every effort to steal eardron in order, you claim, to reduce the chance of a theft that itself is no sure thing, whereas Lord Audnauj, this man here peerless in his aristocratic countenance you must agree, will follow the law and without doubt erect a statue that will gladden Yumins who exist for certain and have great burdens placed upon them, as we all do. We may go further and remember, as we look upon this wondrous collection, that every piece within it was once commissioned just as Lord Audnauj''s horse statue was. Who is to say that a hundred, four hundred, or eight hundred years hence, that same statue may not grace a collection of this same sort and bequeath to our descendants the beauty and insight into the ways of their forefathers it is the responsibility of every generation to provide as its legacy? And still you contend your behavior is what it ought to be, for so superior are your intentions?¡±


    Some of the Stegzins smiled and made a meaningful-seeming gesture of four raised fingers when the translation finished, though that ceased at their superior''s glare. She turned it on the visitors to less effect and said, ¡°I will put that aside for now as an unproductive topic. Is there something troubling you that is susceptible to our help?¡±


    Dirant took that as a concession, whether correctly or not he lacked the cultural awareness to ascertain, though he was in fact correct. ¡°This man,¡± he indicated the Picker, ¡°must hold in his hands the globe which depicts the entire world for a duration of . . .¡±


    ¡°Eighty seconds, sir.¡±


    ¡°Eighty seconds. Please arrange this.¡±


    ¡°Eeeeee.¡± The head Ninja exhaled while she thought. ¡°That''s tough. That''s a definite ice-packed harbor you''re trying to reach. The display for the Globe of Avans is still being prepared, and even if I let you see it, to touch it . . . fffffff.¡± She inhaled just as lingeringly. ¡°Mr. JomOdro would have to give permission, but for you to talk to him is impossible.¡±


    ¡°Do you say so because he then may learn of your activities on Lesser Redrin?¡±


    ¡°No! No, no. No. NO!¡± So the answer was yes, Dirant concluded.


    ¡°Suppose we commit ourselves to not doing so.¡±


    Though the way the head operative bit her thumb did nothing for her dignity, it did impart an impression of sincere consideration on her part rather than implacable obstructionism. ¡°Errrrr. I''m not sure. He''s hard to approach. The briefing told us he''s a man of many affairs in the old country who finds ways to make time for visitors, but right now he only thinks about relics, ruins, dinky little idols . . .¡±


    ¡°Ah, and so Mr. JomOdro has an interest in this sort of thing or?¡± Dirant withdrew his ritually discovered statue from the box.

 53. Meeting A Foreign Personage

    Before The Meeting Itself, The Requester, Should He Anticipate Results Beyond Being Seen In Prestigious Company, Must Prepare Himself By Engaging An Instructor Of Relevant Etiquette For No Less Than Nine Days


    ¡°Whoaaaaaaaa!¡± A white-haired old lady, or not so old as that when one got over her hair of pure snow, late forties perhaps, looked up from across the room where she had been writing notes on a placard and dashed over so quickly Dirant was unsure her legs even moved. In respectable Adaban she said, ¡°Our blessing is a meeting for me, young man. I''m a world-recognized expert in certain antiquities, particularly those related to Avans, and I''d like to examine that idol. Ponsa? JomFigza, by the way.¡±


    She extended her hand, though whether to shake Dirant''s or receive his statuette he could not decide. He tried to manipulate the situation in his favor as best he could by going for the handshake while raising the item in question high up for her to see clearly but not touch. ¡°No less for me. My name is Dirant Rikelta, and further elaboration is welcome as well as, if such can be arranged, a meeting with Mr. JomOdro.¡±


    Her eyes followed the statue like those of the Foam Stallion''s cat about to carry out its shipboard duty at the expense of an uninvited passenger it just spotted. ¡°You''ve come to the right expert,¡± she said, ignoring who had come to whom. ¡°Mr. JomOdro relies heavily on my judgment. He even asked me to come here to sparkling Dittsen, and not only because I have a bit of Adaban. What we must do now is determine if that intriguing idol you have there is worth his time. He''s very jealous of it. I know it''s worth mine even if it''s fake. This is all I do, after all.¡±


    Dirant moved the icon closer to her and away again; her eyes remained fixed on it. ¡°And what is necessary for it qualify as worth his time? My area of expertise is rituals rather than antiquities, you see.¡±


    ¡°To begin with, what you have there may be of Hoduuri origin, and it may further represent Avans, the father of the gods. Or, pardon me. He is commonly known as Nantizant here. Ottkirs dispute his position in the pantheon for some odd reason I''ve never discovered. To us in Stegzi, or to Mr. JomOdro in the old country, there is no doubt about his primacy.¡±


    Though unwilling to interrupt, Dirant again suffered embarrassment at being unsure how keenly he should feel his ignorance of religious topics. He had seen depictions of Nantizant either beside doors or across them and knew him to be the god of such, but as to whether he was father of the gods or not, he had never before even heard the suggestion.


    As if in answer, or actually in answer perhaps, a trembling sensation spread out from his gut as religious awe struck him. Over the expert''s shoulder he saw Holzd. The god evidently yearned that day to spend a nice evening in Nifkir''s Pillar perusing the works of the past. The implications might have staggered a theologian. Did he require Nifkir''s permission? Was he Nifkir? Nifkir was supposed to be a goddess, was she not? To a pious priest of Dirant''s ilk, naturally nothing his god did required explanation.


    Holzd looked straight at him, shook his head, and resumed his inspection of an ancient knife employed for removing the bones from fish according to the latest conjecture. Thus assured Nantizant was not so big a deal after all, Dirant continued listening.


    ¡°That''s what makes it so irksome that we''ve never found a pair of Avans idols even once. You''re probably already thinking that means the Hoduuri refrained from their usual practice in the case of that one paramount god.¡±


    ¡°I am,¡± Takki chimed in.


    ¡°We''re pretty sure that isn''t true. We have found fragments of what we think are Avans idols, and we have also found Avans in different aspects. Just not a whole one next to another whole one. The reason your idol is interesting to me even if it''s fake is I want to know how someone managed to produce such a plausible version of Avans the Watcher, seeing as that''s one we''ve only guessed at that aspect based on a few inscriptions liable to misinterpretation. I''m afraid that Mr. JomOdro is more practical. He won''t get excited unless it''s authentic. No, that''s not quite right. If it passes an initial inspection, he''ll want to see it then.¡±


    ¡°If it''s a question of an initial inspection, refusal is impossible. Here it is. Though the inspection must be supervised, by me, please do not consider it a reflection on my estimation of your character.¡± Dirant handed over the precious otter treasure to the eager authority while staring at Deli?ra? JemmzIszti, who at least blushed in the manner of someone not entirely bereft of conscience.


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    ¡°That box warrants a closer look too, I suspect. Not my line, though. Not Hoduuri. Let''s see.¡± Ponsa? JomFigza turned away and paced, muttering the whole way. Dirant kept up with on the right side while Takki slid over to her left. As the muttering was in Yosribdi they learned little from it except for confirmation of the angry-sounding theory. Audnauj kept his eye on the main blonde threat instead, and Foshkay laGabohnsay endeavored to be mistaken for a dress mannequin yet to have its modern outfit swapped for the fashions of old.


    ¡°Fine!¡± The expert''s sudden declaration startled her two new shadows, but she paid no attention. ¡°A decisive assertion is just not even a little possible, but this plausibly could be an actual Hoduuri Avans the Watcher. I must take this to Mr. JomOdro right away. Don''t slow me down!¡± She hustled off with the assemblage behind her, Audnauj still watching the Ninjas for signs of unprincipled behavior.


    A side room had signs posted next to it that indicated ¡°Mr. JomOdro''s Office¡± in several languages Dirant knew. He presumed it said the same in several he did not, but he decided to check with his associate. ¡°Takki, is it possible some of those are rude messages written by someone on the staff vulnerable to the allure of pranks?¡±


    ¡°Well, Ressi, we are in Adaban territory.¡±


    As much as he desired elaboration as to that chain of reasoning, Mrs. JomFigza was already knocking and pushing her way inside while also chatting in Yosribdi at the presumed inhabitant. Indeed he was there, a bald man probably a tad older than his favorite expert whose perfectly fitting silk shirt revealed him as someone rich enough to afford a physique worth having. Where she erred was in presuming him to be alone.


    ¡°Glainai So-and-so! The other one!¡±


    ¡°Glainai Gabas and Desonn Sheglei, I believe.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Ressi. I have a little trouble with Survyai names.¡±


    Chaos without violence resulted. Ponsa? JomFigza continued speaking to Vogdi JomOdro, unaware of the complexities of the situation. Though likewise unaware, Deli?ra? JemmzIszti and her detachment detected a potential for unpleasantness and rushed in to take up spots on either side of their primary responsibility and on the walls and ceiling as well, which apparently their secret class allowed them to do. The situation was tenser than Redrin''s relations with its neighbors, if not quite as unsalvageable as those between Noiswawau and Swadvanchdeu. Everyone waited on what Vogdi JomOdro would say.


    ¡°Mrs. JomFigza is relating to Mr. JomOdro all the information she currently possesses regarding the idol owned by you, Mr. Dirant Rikelta.¡± Glainai Gabas smiled at him, though his partner had only glares for everyone. ¡°As agonizingly brief as our meeting before was, an ugly little hurried thing that made proper introductions impossible, it made such an impression on me that I conducted some research. I know how you Adabans are about privacy, but I hope to be forgiven on the basis of the brotherhood of man. If not, I claim also the brotherhood of peddlers of antiquities, for my business here also respects an idol of possible significance.¡±


    ¡°Was it from an otter holt that you retrieved it?¡±


    ¡°No, and neither did I conceive I should regret that fact before now.¡± Glainai bowed.


    ¡°There is the end of brotherhood then.¡± Dirant wondered if he should keep going, but since the other conversation was, he supposed he might as well. ¡°The honesty you show us is a recommendation at least. A more brazen criminal would call it a Hoduuri idol and dare us to claim his confederate, a skilled sculptor, fashioned it for criminal purposes. The situation must quickly become uncomfortable when that occurs.¡±


    ¡°It''s a fake then?¡± The nearby antiquarian of course understood the Adaban conversation.


    ¡°It is unclear,¡± Dirant clarified.


    ¡°Good.¡± She turned back to the conversation. Vogdi JomOdro at last spoke, and his calm, rumbling speech overturned a long-standing hypothesis about Yosribdi.


    Mr. Glainai continued to translate. ¡°Mr. JomOdro has explained my presence here, as if there is anything unnatural in a meeting between gentlemen. He further wishes to know whether Mrs. JomFigza is yet able to determine the authenticity of the two statues, which of course she is not, all the more so on account of the intriguing suggestion, she is now informing him, that there is some question of the probity of the parties involved.¡±


    Dirant pretended to puzzlement. ¡°Is she? We have not even accused Mr. Glainai of being a thief and a kidnapper.¡±


    ¡°She is now telling him about that, of course. I object in the strongest possible terms. Who accuses me of kidnapping?¡± He turned toward his victim. ¡°Did I kidnap you, Lord Audnauj?¡±


    ¡°Certainly not!¡±


    ¡°There.¡±


    Dirant conferred with his associate. ¡°The kidnapping element may be difficult to prove.¡±


    Takki recognized the problem and took the prosecution in another direction. ¡°That leaves thievery and all the other crimes on the wanted poster he keeps in his hideout. Are you going to deny those?¡±


    Glainai Gabas brushed those away with his hand. ¡°I simply don''t see the need. No collection worth having is free from a little theft somewhere along the chain. We might wish we lived in a less duplicitous age, but, well, you understand, surely? I see Mr. JomOdro agrees with me.¡±

 54. Delivery Ritual

    It May Fairly Be Said That Ritualists Are The Deliverers Of All Mankind By The Otherwise-Inaccessible Benefits We Produce


    He was nodding as the conversation was translated for him, presumably. Ponsa? JomFigza confirmed that to be the case and added, ¡°He also says there are plenty of false accusations of stealing when someone finds out what an item is worth and wants it back, as if it''s his fault the sellers don''t do as much research as they ought. What''s that?¡± She listened to a few more sentences. ¡°Mr. JomOdro trusts we all share a sense of community as fellow lovers of antiquities. He expects to be allowed to make a closer examination of the idols, and he also expects you would all love to see the Globe of Avans before the general public is allowed to do so.¡±


    ¡°And we would love even more for this man to hold it.¡± Dirant tried to indicate Foshkay laGabohnsay, but the man''s absence baffled the attempt. ¡°That man. He awaits us outside, so excited is he to assist in an exotic ritual.¡±


    ¡°An exotic ritual?¡± The two Yosrobos who mattered evinced interest, as did even Glainai Gabas, who enjoyed more of life''s attractions than crime alone. Vogdi JomOdro stood up and led the group out of his temporary office toward the globe as Dirant explained the Delivery Ritual, the pinnacle of his class''s achievements if the level requirement meant anything. Most likely it did not since most classes got their best stuff in the first three levels, but even so, 50.


    Inside a locked box inside a locked chest inside a locked crate sat the globe, spinning away in place with no hand propelling it. Clouds white and dark covered most of it, but through breaks in the cover the watchers saw the oceans, the mountains, and every feature on the planet''s surface.


    ¡°Ooh,¡± some said.


    ¡°Aah,¡± others responded.


    Vogdi JomOdro also gazed with awe despite having all the opportunities he wished to view the relic. He further insisted everyone else gaze along with him while they waited for the advent of one of his people, a Ritualist he wished to consult before he would allow the Picker to proceed. A Stegzin soon joined them, or rather a Yosrobo from Yosrobzi Vugri itself judging by how angry he did not sound. The density of hand gestures seemed similar between the two dialects, however. After a discussion in Yosribdi between the new arrival and the globe''s owner, the latter motioned to Foshkay laGabohnsay to proceed.


    A moment after the Picker picked up the relic, the southern Ritualist said something to his boss. ¡°A genuine ritual is being performed,¡± Ponsa? JomFigza reported. ¡°He must caution everyone that while a Ritualist is able to guarantee whether a ritual he observes will have some definite result, by no means whatsoever may the precise . . .¡±


    What interrupted the man''s legally meaningful speech sent Dirant Rikelta to the floor. The Ritual Revelation ability both possessed alerted them to the completion of the Delivery Ritual by flooding them with that pure sensation which the gods divided into pleasure, pain, scratchiness, slickness, heat, cold, and every other feeling lest it overwhelm the mortal creatures soon to populate the world.


    ¡°AaAaAgh,¡± Dirant said.


    ¡°Oooooooggg,¡± the other Ritualist concurred.


    ¡°Ressi! Ressi!¡± Takki sounded so close to panic that Dirant began a struggle to reassure her, but it turned out not to be much of a struggle. The Ritual Revelation ceased seconds later, and along with it the debilitating sensation. He popped right back up to explain.


    ¡°The Delivery Ritual is completed. Again the world is guarded from deterioration.¡± As much gravity as he could manage went into that proclamation despite the fact that, while he was able to guarantee and so on, he had to accept the specifics on faith. Surely a ritual that did that to him from so far away had some heft to it, though. He glanced at a spot the rest of the people would perceive as empty, excepting perhaps the other Ritualist, and saw Holzd. One of the god''s weird, wobbly arms looped around itself and ended in a salute.


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    ¡°Well done, little priest,¡± the god told him. Dirant sniffled. His southern counterpart whipped around and stared; evidently that was his first religious experience.


    ¡°Good news for all of us, eh?¡± Audnauj accepted the proclamation at face value, which showed how seriously people took legal disclaimers.


    Takki also ignored the fine print, albeit in favor of other important concerns. ¡°Next we must uncover the truth of what that means, but are you certain you''re all right?¡±


    ¡°It is so. As sudden and violent as our reaction must have seemed, it was due merely to the activation of Ritual Revelation, a standard if optional class ability. To anyone considering a class change to Ritualist, I recommend several other abilities above it. Ritual Humility is especially consequential in commerce. Now I must thank Mr. laGabohnsay for his possibly world-altering assistance.¡±


    ¡°Oh, you know. Heh.¡± Then, to cover his embarrassment, the triumphant Edition Freezer said, ¡°This globe is amazing though. Incredible.¡±


    Seeing that Vogdi JomOdro was busy interrogating his domestic Ritualist, Glainai Gabas addressed another audience, this time in impeccable Yumin. ¡°It truly is, sir, and no less incredible is your skill as an exemplar of your extraordinary class. I won''t hold back in praising anyone who does good for this fascinating world that contains everything worth loving, and I couldn''t be happier to hear it won''t deteriorate any more than it already has since the heroic past. I am inspired now to set out and enjoy it a little more.¡± He switched to Adaban. ¡°Mrs. JomFigza, why don''t I leave my icon with you? I hope to hear favorable results when I return for it tomorrow, but please don''t tell polite lies to console me. There it is. Now, Miss Desonn, shall we?¡± He and Desonn Sheglei departed, just a couple of art fiends off for a larceny-free night on the town.


    Both questionable statuettes in hand, Ponsa? JomFigza turned to Dirant Rikelta with the same expectant look as a child on her birthday, if Stegzins did that sort of thing. He was in a mood to allow what at other times he might refuse, what with the nebulous safety of the planet assured for some indeterminate duration, and therefore he said, ¡°I also permit you to examine my idol. Please refrain from allowing Glainai Gabas, Desonn Sheglei, or the security here near it before I reclaim it tomorrow.¡± Deli?ra? JemmzIszti might have taken umbrage at that if anyone had translated it for her. ¡°What else is there? More exhibition, I suppose. Miss Takki, Lord Audnauj, Mr. laGabohnsay, shall we?¡±


    The four returned to the party even readier to party than before. Dirant Rikelta and Foshkay laGabohnsay had both discharged crucial duties which had long disturbed their equanimity and so came to resemble ships riding high in the water after delivering their cargo, bobbing around as the winds and waves moved them. Millim Takki Atsa had accomplished nothing, but she felt relieved from a weight as well. All that time before the fateful globe inspection she had held back from disturbing those two by engaging them in dense conversations about intriguing items in Vogdi JomOdro''s collection. No longer did she restrain herself. As for Audnauj Olzenchipt Stavripdeu Blawraj, two of his companions had carried on an acquaintance with him long enough to realize his mood had something odd in it, but too short to comprehend the nature of it. Though he remained attentive, at times a smile or frown unrelated to the surroundings crossed his face. He remained a properly festive party guest for all that.


    Eager attendees kept the Eight-Way Scale working all night, but it was a little too dull for thrill-seekers such as Takki, who preferred another relic just set up on the second floor known as Sofan''s Field. At first sight a simple board for playing grid-based games with pieces, its miraculous nature revealed itself in repeated contests between the same players, for the returning winner became incapable of moving some of his pieces from their starting positions no matter his Muscle.


    ¡°The staff encouraged me to do so. They assured me I would never succeed in breaking the thing, and they were right,¡± reported Kitslof''s representative in the Greater Enloffenkir assembly to Dirant after finding out the latter''s family name to be Rikelta. He also asked how Stadeskosken fared, if old Haderslant had a son of every class yet, and so on.


    ¡°His pace has slowed worryingly,¡± Dirant was forced to admit.


    The exhibition succeeded admirably as a social function, and doubtless many of the visitors departed full of ambitious plans to expand their own collections and fund archaeological undertakings. Others undertook to unearth their servants only to find them gossiping with the other retinues through a complex network of people who almost understood several languages.

 55. On The Stirrings Of Romantic Feeling

    The Peculiar Quality Of This Emotion Is Its Invariable Manifestation When Least Convenient For The Person Experiencing It


    Lord Audnauj collected his Yumins, and on the streets back to Millennium House he did his utmost to contemplate things other than the notoriety servant chat must have given him. The Yumins, for their part, walked with their master no longer than one city block before they contrived to fall back, pulling Dirant, Takki, and Foshkay along with them.


    Hugal began the interrogation. ¡°Hey. Who is it this time?¡±


    ¡°How worried do we have to be?¡± Eyanya added.


    ¡°Ah.¡± At last Dirant understood. ¡°That is the cause behind his mood, is it? Hm. Takki, do you think it''s possible that it''s . . .¡±


    ¡°It has to be, right? We can do better than guess though. Come on.¡± The trailing contingent caught back up to the leader, who had not noticed their dilatoriness. Takki grabbed Dirant''s arm as some kind of signal they ought to have established beforehand and asked as nonchalantly as she was able, ¡°Well, Ressi? Did anyone there catch your eye in your position as a healthy young man? Any ladies I mean? Attractive ones?¡±


    The awkwardness of the prompt made Dirant wonder how well Takki performed in those historical reenactments, but for the moment he cooperated as best as his Panache allowed. ¡°Perhaps it is praise for the tailors and jewelers who furnished the guests that beneath the dazzling glamour I marked no particular lady as exceptional.¡±


    Audnauj turned around and walked backward while admonishing Dirant. ¡°It''s someone else''s fault for putting you on the spot, I''ll give you that, but you can''t go around telling lies and so forth. Think of your reputation.¡±


    Unfazed by the attack because of the circumstances, Dirant countered with a light feint. ¡°Think of yours after what these . . . you understand.¡±


    Audnauj winced. ¡°I''m afraid I do. Back to my point.¡± His smile degraded into condescension. ¡°I''m afraid I have to force you to fess up, Dirant. Tell everyone here about Miss JemmzIszti. Describe her fully. I''ll know if you left anything out.¡±


    Dirant and Takki exchanged knowing yet disappointed looks. Disappointed in themselves both for expecting anything different and for not realizing it before the servants identified the issue. ¡°As you say. Deli?ra? JemmzIszti is the name, it was revealed, of the Stegzin Ninja leader who caused so much trouble in Lesser Redrin.¡±


    ¡°I see,¡± said Hugal, Eyanya, and several other Yumins in a flat tone.


    ¡°I grant permission for each person who saw her then to develop his own opinion as to her appearance and integrity. Proceeding to Miss JemmzIszti''s eloquence, I question her suitability for public roles and wish her luck in her current occupation, though whether we classify that as military, intelligence, military intelligence, or something else is obscure. ''Language makes rivers into streams and creeks,'' and this is no different.¡±


    ¡°Fine, fine. I can''t expect you to become voluble about this sort of thing now. Just let me tell all of you that my opinion is etched in steel, and so would yours be if you''d been there.¡± Audnauj returned to a forward-facing orientation as he strolled, his arms swinging loose and free.


    The troop fell behind again to discuss the issue, and that time Onzalkarnd joined them out of sudden concern. ¡°How worried do we have to be about this Deli?ra? JemmzIszti object?¡± Eyanya asked again with more detail.


    ¡°Not at all,¡± Dirant asserted. ¡°The other party evinced no interest whatever in our favorite party. The two have no reason to interact ever again, or if they did, share no language in which to arrange it. This romance ended before it began. Tragic, yet beautiful for that.¡±


    ¡°The ideal ending,¡± Hugal said.


    Eyanya nodded. ¡°That''s right. We don''t have to do anything except add an entry to Master Audnauj''s catalogue of bad ideas. Phew!¡± She wiped her dry forehead with an exaggerated gesture. Onzalkarnd unobtrusively wiped his own slightly damp forehead along with her.


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    ¡°I have some doubts,¡± Takki mused. She saw the consternation of her fellows and rushed to correct herself. ¡°I really do agree about the likelihood Lord Audnauj will get anywhere. I''m not talking about that. It''s just, would that be bad? Miss JemmzIszti''s actions and speech may be questionable in a lot of ways . . .¡±


    ¡°Excessive charity may devolve into sin,¡± Dirant warned.


    ¡°Well, we can''t pretend like we know all the context. Those were Miss JemmzIszti''s orders is what I mean. Doesn''t that show loyalty? And competence, since she''s in charge? An attention to detail and a sense of responsibility.¡± Takki sensed her audience to be unreceptive to her argument, perhaps because she clearly struggled to come up with it in the first place. Undismayed, she launched another assault. ¡°I still think she shows up well compared to people like Desonn Sheglei. I mean . . . Desonn Sheglei! One look at her!¡±


    ¡°You''ve stated it perfectly. A single glance at Glainai Gabas''s equally bad half is warning enough for any man of normal judgment, and then there is Lord Audnauj.¡± Dirant at last, against his inclination, reached the repugnant yet inevitable conclusion. ¡°That Stegzin operative may in fact be the best woman for him in all the world. Yet nothing I said about the implausibility of the match is altered by that.¡±


    The cortege proceeded back to the hotel, most of its members in a solemn mood except for the laGabohnsay family and Audnauj himself, who dropped back to check if anyone was discussing Miss JemmzIszti after all and was pleased to discover several were. He winked at Dirant and trotted ahead while the rest tossed around ideas to save him from himself despite the evident impossibility of the task.


    In the lobby of the sixth-best establishment of its kind in Dittsen, Audnauj relaxed and asked, ¡°What plans have all of you now? Mr. laGabohnsay''s family will be staying with me for a few days of vacation here, of course. I''ll want to get at that Scale and the board game too. But after that. I suppose it''s back to the Lesser for me to confirm the eardron situation, then off to do the same about the core statue. Some other errand after that, I suppose.¡±


    Inspiration came to Dirant, who at last remembered to include in his calculations the resources available to Audnauj though unavailable to him. He decided to make a helpful suggestion as a parting gift, meager as it was. ¡°Likely to Stegzi after you dedicate yourself to learning Yosribdi in order to participate in negotiations with other countries heretofore neglected in Redrin''s diplomatic efforts,¡± he suggested.


    Audnauj sat straight up. ¡°There''s an idea. It''s just the sort that made them say, ''Never is done worse what is done without advice,'' isn''t it, Onzalkarnd?¡±


    ¡°''Save what is done without spirit,'' my lord.¡±


    ¡°There''s no fear of that when Dirant here is getting me exercised.¡±


    Dirant smiled in a manner he intended to look self-deprecating rather than smug, but the people there would have given him some unwelcome news had he asked. ¡°My finest notions are reserved for others. For myself, I have no ambition but to return to Fennizen. On the way I must be sure to read the latest articles about the daring theft carried out at the expense of Vogdi JomOdro''s collection. The authorities are puzzled, our sympathy goes out to him, is Baosnesk a safe place to live these days, and so.¡±


    ¡°Oh, so you won''t be coming with me on a cross-continental journey to chase the thieves, Ressi?¡± Takki asked.


    ¡°Stadeskosken is not as liberal with its work hours as that. Or? I suppose I have reason to doubt that claim. I must inquire.¡±


    ¡°Now halt there,¡± Audnauj interrupted. ¡°You''re convinced Glainai''s going to clean the place out?¡± With nods as his response, not just from Dirant and Takki but also from a crowd of Yumins and chief attendants who had come to respect their judgment in certain areas, he continued. ¡°I don''t agree with you. First of all, who''s to say pawning off a fake statue isn''t the extent of it this time? And it''s not as if Vogdi JomOdro didn''t take precautions. You want to pretend you didn''t notice the Ninjas, but you did.¡±


    ¡°Ah, and how well they performed at Chunawm Metals we all know well.¡±


    ¡°That''s exactly it. They even prevented themselves from stealing.¡±


    Audnauj''s counter left Dirant reeling but unshaken in his convictions. Instead of arguing further, he offered a way to gather evidence which might support a more informed answer to the question and double up on his parting gift at the same time. ¡°Here is my proposal. We dine, wait a bit, perhaps a nap, and then return to Nifkir''s Pillar to ascertain the strength of the security there. Our excuse is that my statue is at risk. In fact, my anxiety is such that I must leave to you, Lord Audnauj, the responsibility of interrogating the head of security.¡±


    +1 bonus to Gumption gained.


    Audnauj seized Dirant''s hand and shook it in the Adaban fashion, for only by that physical connection could he hope to transmit his gratitude. Words could never have sufficed unless he changed his class to Evoker right there. A moment so moving resisted interruption, but Foshkay laGabohnsay did so anyway to ask whether he had to go. ¡°Certainly not,¡± Lord Audnauj assured him. ¡°Put your children to bed and don''t think about us. That goes for the rest of you also.¡±


    ¡°Master Audnauj, I think we should leave his children to him,¡± Eyanya said.


    ¡°Oh, right. Then you all stay here. Or come with. It''s up to you.¡±

 56. Nocturnal Activities

    Such Are As A Rule Not Conducted By The Honest, That Rule Having Long Since Fallen Into Abeyance On Account Of Improvements In Light-Related Infrastructure


    In the end, the two grooms as usual went along with their master, Onzalkarnd, Dirant, and Takki to reinforce their preeminence over the lesser servants even in horseless circumstances. The reduced retinue left the hotel and emerged into nighttime Dittsen, a city unlike any other, for though no one could mistake it for day, night seemed the wrong word entirely. At least in the ritzy districts, where in addition to the illumination visible through the windows of various halls, lounges, and offices of firms that encouraged unusual hours among employees eager for promotion, the lamps erected along the major streets as part of the government''s beautification project allowed people too rich to go to bed visibility at all hours and places. As a concession to current preferences, those lamps were lighted or left unlighted alternatingly in a crisscross configuration identical to the modern Adaban''s vest buttons.


    The nocturnal traffic exceeded that of perhaps anywhere else in the world, which still amounted to little. Relieved of the need to shove and weave through crowds, the group reached Nifkir''s Pillar in less time than the trip had taken in the day. Its windows also gave out light here and there, perhaps for the convenience of janitors. Nobody on the staff or security detail was visible.


    Until a bunch of them appeared right next to the six unexpected visitors without being noticed by any of them beforehand, even the Battler. ¡°Ressi, my new theory is that the Ninja class is better suited to urban environments than open terrain. Maybe you want to switch after all?¡±


    ¡°If true, is that not because it is easier to remain unseen in a crowd than isolated in the open country? We may say by similar reasoning that Ritualists also perform better in cities because there are more people to participate in our rituals and pay us afterward.¡±


    ¡°Yes, I''d say that''s true. What''s the objection to it?¡±


    One of the Ninjas, no longer dressed with a view toward social camouflage but instead toward regular camouflage as he had been in Lesser Redrin, cleared his throat. ¡°Ladies and gentlemen, Nifkir''s Pillar is currently closed. Please do not approach within thirty feet of Nifkir''s Pillar. Proper security depends on the earnest cooperation of the public as much as on anything we can do. Thank you. Furthermore, Ninja has never been confirmed to be the name of a genuine class. You should stop saying it because it makes you sound like a crank.¡±


    Dirant cleared his throat to fit in. ¡°Cooperation is something I offer in such abundance that it may not be believed. The reason is that I have a statue inside which must be authenticated by an expert. Fear that the notorious criminal Glainai Gabas will make off with it interrupts any attempt at sleep, and so I come here to be soothed by an explanation of your precautions. Best of all is if the person in charge is able to satisfy a member of Redrin''s warrior aristocracy and a capable fighter himself as to their thoroughness.¡± It was not his habit to grab lords by the shoulder and yank them over, but that one time he considered it a pardonable act.


    Deli?ra? JemmzIszti landed from somewhere or other, though that time Takki''s eyes tracked her before she hit the ground. She straightened, sidled into better lighting in order that everyone could perceive her sincerity after she finished rolling her eyes, lowered her mask, and began to speak.


    The first Ninja translated. ¡°I will explain some of the measures we have taken, but I intend to avoid details in case of spies. We have consulted the local authorities, who kindly informed us they too have been warned of the perfidy of this Glainai Gabas character. We sent a courier to Yean Defiafi in order to learn more of his methods. We have also compiled a list of experts whom we will approach for analysis of the statuette Glainai Gabas left inside to ensure it is not somehow rigged for nefarious purposes. Ritualists, Reciters, Pinpointers, Summoners, Visionaries, and more. Beyond that, please do not allow yourself to believe there are not many more of us both outside and inside the building simply because a few of us are allowing ourselves to be seen. Is that information able to assuage your concern for the valuable objects in Nifkir''s Pillar? I hope to persuade you we aren''t neglecting anything and certainly not your statuette. Borrowed items, no matter how worthless to the market-walkers, are more precious to the borrower than anything owned by him.¡±


    ¡°A wonderful sentiment, don''t you think so?¡± Audnauj looked at Dirant as would someone who always suspected star-based fortune-telling to be bunk and had just heard a fiery speech on the topic from Luas Taikko Hinmi which dealt with the opposing viewpoint in such a way as not only to confirm him in his belief but to convert, he believed, every last person over to it.


    Dirant, meanwhile, behaved like someone who had always trusted the stargazers and always would, which did not describe his actual position regardless of how many news articles made contrary claims. ¡°Certainly that ought to be considered true when I own the borrowed item. I am less sure of it in other cases. Regardless, Nifkir''s Pillar is clearly under guard. What of the precautions concerning Mr. JomOdro himself? Or Ponsa? JomFigza, wherever she may be?¡±


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    ¡°Huh?¡± Both the translator and his chief stared at him, frozen.


    ¡°Glainai Gabas is a kidnapper, after all,¡± Dirant reminded them.


    ¡°Not of me,¡± Audnauj insisted.


    ¡°But of other people.¡±


    ¡°Uh. Um. Gotta go!¡± The meaning of Deli?ra? JemmzIszti''s exclamation became known to Audnauj only later during his Yosribdi studies, since her subordinate did not then stick around to translate it. Ninjas, those two first and a few more later, bounded out of the shadows and began running down another street or even on the walls and high roofs, leaping when necessary.


    Takki, Audnauj, Dirant, and Onzalkarnd rushed after the Stegzins in roughly that order of zealousness, with Hugal and Eyanya filling the bottom two positions only after Onzalkarnd yelled at them to get going. As much enthusiasm as some of them possessed, their agility came up short. They feared losing their chance to reach Vogdi JomOdro entirely until Audnauj realized something. ¡°This is the way to Tazol''s, isn''t it? Makes sense he''d put himself up in the best hotel.¡±


    It did, and what a nice place it was, like a king''s palace but somewhat bigger and more tasteful. Deli?ra? JemmzIszti burst into the lobby and then stopped to straighten her baggy stealth outfit in response to all the stares of the clientele and staff. Nothing seemed out of order aside from her.


    The Redrins, Adaban, and Jalpi Peffu who piled in after her held a different opinion, at least when they got a good look at a few employees moving to intercept the obviously unhinged, possibly dangerous woman who had made such a violent entrance. Takki spoke to the Stegzin translator in a calm, even tone. ¡°Could you ask your superior where Mr. JomOdro''s room is? She''s about to have her attention occupied by Glainai Gabas''s henchmen. Those two for example are supposed to be incarcerated right now.¡± She nodded at the erstwhile courier and his ineffectual friend currently disguised as bellboys.


    He translated that. Instantly Deli?ra? JemmzIszti leapt to a pillar, produced throwing daggers from her costume, flashed three then two then five of them in Takki''s direction, and the fight was on. The bellhops whipped out knives, waitresses carrying plates from the kitchen lifted the lids to reveal curled whips underneath, and the desk clerk pulled out an ax almost as long as the desk itself. Every employee in the hotel had been replaced, it seemed.


    While Audnauj unsheathed his saber, Onzalkarnd did the same, and Hugal and Eyanya backed out of the room to make themselves better witnesses of their master''s bravery, Takki and Dirant ignored the distraction of battle and ran up the stairs toward Room 325. One of them ran slower than the other, but Dirant was close enough to wince when Takki punched straight through a lovely, wood-paneled door and grabbed the knob from the other side. The sight, along with the prospect of explaining the incident to the manager of the hotel later, was enough to incite in him the unworthy hope that Vogdi JomOdro was in serious trouble.


    He was, unless the latest fad in his homeland involved being held in the air by two criminal underlings as a prelude to being stuffed into a giant sack held by Desonn Sheglei and Glainai Gabas, which likely it did not. ¡°Another mystery solved!¡± shouted Millim Takki Atsa as she gave the henchmen some of what the door had earlier. Their intended victim fell to the floor, an enviable condition comparably. He struggled to rise, and by the time he succeeded and Takki turned away from her first two targets, the ringleaders had already effected an exit.


    ¡°Ressi!¡±


    The otter in question was at the window even as she shouted. Unfortunately, things moved fast in the modern era. Glainai Gabas waved at Dirant from three stories below while Desonn Sheglei kicked their escape ladder aside. Perhaps a Ninja could catch them, but none seemed available.


    ¡°They removed the ladder,¡± Dirant reported, in immediate response to which Takki dashed back downstairs at full Battler speed. Gabas and Sheglei, however, made to escape at full crime speed long before she could get outside and around the hotel. Dirant dismissed the idea of jumping, since even if his 247 HP absorbed the shock, a step two seemed required but wanting. Then he saw in the street past the criminals something hard for him to believe but too helpful to dismiss as a hallucination if there was any chance of its being real. He pointed down and called out, ¡°Silthree! Stop these two!¡±


    ¡°Pay my bail if you get me in trouble!¡± Duelist Silapobolt Rikelta shouted back. He drew his sword, presented his side to Glainai Gabas, and disarmed him after a few exchanges of sharp thrusts and whatever else trained swordsmen did. As for Desonn Sheglei, her sculpting skills, impressive as they may have been, lacked application on the field of battle compared to the Distorter abilities of Ridenad Bessahalpt, who extended her arms straight and manifested between them a black ball of eldritch something-or-other that bulged and seemed to wrestle itself before it made its decision about what terror to inflict on the human world. Four rays shot from it through Sheglei''s knees and elbows, and just like that she collapsed.


    Dirant yelled down, ¡°An excellent performance by the both of you, Silthree and, ah, may I call you sister-in-law?¡±


    ¡°I insist upon it,¡± Silthree yelled up. ¡°Also that you descend to tell me what I just accomplished. Truth is optional, but compliments are not.¡±


    Dirtwo waved and did as he was told. Passing through the lobby, he saw a pack of unfortunate henchmen being tied up by Stegzins who could not help but pause in the work from time to time out of a desperate need to gaze admiringly at Audnauj Olzenchipt Stavripdeu Blawraj and his invincible saber. ¡°An ideal scenario for a Jobber, perhaps,¡± Dirant noted as he exited.


    ¡°I should say so,¡± Audnauj agreed.

 57. The Criminal Applications Of Ritualism

    Few If Any Have Been Devised At The Date Of Publication, A Fact Which Ought To Inspire The Reader Toward An Obvious Purpose


    Takki was already at the scene. ¡°Ressi, these Adabans say they won''t hand over these two until you show up. I didn''t think you knew anyone in Dittsen.¡±


    ¡°It was my belief I did not. And yet at times someone I already know ventures here without my permission, an unforgivable rudeness we can agree. This opportunity is a blessing for me. Battler Millim Takki Atsa. One of my many brothers, Silapobolt Rikelta. Ridenad Bessahalpt. Notorious thief, conman, and kidnapper Glainai Gabas. His accomplice, Desonn Sheglei.¡±


    ¡°Lovely to meet you,¡± Glainai Gabas said. His partner declined comment.


    Silapobolt bowed to him before again addressing the non-captives. ¡°That answers most of my questions. Please pardon me for questioning your credentials, Miss Millim.¡±


    ¡°Takki,¡± Dirant said at a normal volume but in a hushed sort of way so everyone knew not to listen.


    ¡°Miss Takki, I mean.¡±


    ¡°Close enough.¡±


    Silthree bowed again just in case. ¡°Pardon me for that and please watch these two undesirables while I consult with my younger and therefore inferior brother.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I''d be grateful if you let me help you in any way.¡±


    ¡°Very well then.¡± Silthree pulled Dirant aside, not that the latter resisted. ¡°They''re truly infamous criminals?¡±


    ¡°Yes. Is Ridenad Bessahalpt truly my sister-in-law now?¡±


    ¡°Yes. Her father threatened to kill me, relented long enough for a quick wedding, and then began to consider his former attitude may have been correct after all. We decided to take a little trip. Are you in the city for Vogdi JomOdro''s famous exhibition? Have you attended?¡±


    ¡°Yes and yes. I recommend it.¡±


    ¡°That''s worrying, but I hope for a satisfying tomorrow regardless. Now you must inform me what that means. Rezi, was it?¡±


    ¡°Ressi. It refers to the playful otter, the symbol of our prosperous family.¡±


    ¡°Very good. That fine young lady already has a pet name for you. I tell you frankly that you''ve surpassed my expectations.¡±


    ¡°Will it affect your opinion to learn that is now my adulthood name in Pavvu Omme Os?¡±


    ¡°Ah.¡±


    ¡°And then I must tell you that she is alone in the world in believing so. Nobody else has ever called me that.¡±


    ¡°Ah!¡±


    The two brothers, feeling pretty good about themselves, returned to watch the criminals while Stegzin operatives again conferred with the local authorities. Those arrived to close the matter in an excellent way for everyone involved except for the Glainai gang. Also for Vogdi JomOdro who, while not excessively vindictive, did wish to pop Glainai Gabas once, a wish denied him by Ottkirs whose reputation for tolerance of the unconventional perhaps overstated the case.


    He settled instead for inviting all the people involved in preventing his kidnapping to dinner, and if some had already eaten, he had this answer for them delivered through one of his servants. ¡°Good. You will be freer to talk.¡± They could hardly refuse after that demonstration of remorseless Yosrobish logic.


    It was a tired Dirant that retired late enough for it to be early to Millennium House. Despite that and his promises to various people concerning activities the next day such as sightseeing with Takki and helping Onzalkarnd seek a tutor of Yosribdi for his master, sleep eluded him. He took a walk to ponder the issue. Nothing should be worrying him and he had no particular responsibilities left undone. He even had a Fascination Ritual properly prepared and delayed, since he had not as yet decided on a better one. At last he realized the problem. Should he not have leveled up after all that?


    <blockquote>


    Ritualist


    Priest of Holzd


    LV 7 485/1000


    HP 247


    Muscle 35 (+1)


    Coordination 44 (+5)


    Verve 42 (+3)


    Sticktoitiveness 56 (+5)


    Discernment 69 (+5)


    Gumption 26 (+3)


    Tit-for-Tat 42 (+1)


    Receptivity 87 (+6)


    Panache 46 (+4)


    Class Abilities


    Ritual Judgment


    Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    Ritual Completion


    Ritual Memory


    Ritual Delay


    Divine Guidance (Hunch)


    Ritual Humility


    Ritual Revelation


    General Abilities


    Adaban (Fluent)


    Heweks (Fluent)


    Yumin (Fluent)


    Tabilidgeir (Intermediate)


    Dvanj (Intermediate)


    Desurvyai (Basic)


    Saueo (Basic)


    Usse (Basic)


    Mercantile Fundamentals


    Horse Riding (Intermediate)


    Class Perception (Divine)


    </blockquote>


    Not even close. ¡°Just what is XP?¡± he wondered, just as countless scholars did every day.


    ¡°Its nature, thoroughly explained on many occasions, has proved difficult for humans to comprehend or perhaps accept given certain inclinations they prefer to hold crooked against the straightening influence of truth.¡± There was Holzd, sitting on a bench and gazing at the stars just the way the citizens of Pavvu Omme Os had concluded one ought not bother doing. ¡°Futile as it may be for me to tell it, would you, victorious, like to hear a bedtime story?¡±


    Dirant felt proud at not trembling too much, though unsure if perhaps more would be appropriate in that situation. ¡°I will know when I have heard it, and until then I must say yes.¡±


    ¡°Do you think you serve the god who yearns for sassiness? I can''t deny that I don''t especially mind it though. What you must as a preliminary accept is that there are worlds other than this one, a great many, and though unnecessary to comprehend now it is nevertheless true that not all are inhabited by humans or else dominated by them. A further fact significant for this story is they have different classes or no classes at all, and in other ways also are alien. For instance, likely you think it a universal law that a class bestows an ability at first level and every even level thereafter, but stop thinking that if you like being right. Is this much understood?¡±


    ¡°It is, though as for the particulars, I cannot imagine them.¡±


    ¡°You do, it is revealed, like being right, and you aren''t as terrible at it as you might be. All that is background. The foreground is this. Too many years ago for all your fingers and toes, there was a sage on one of those worlds whose class, well, if you combined Ritualists with Reciters and Evokers, added in the powers of Symbol Knights and Summoners, but mixed in limitations similar to those which constrain Sleet Masters and Hail Masters, you would have something like it. There was a wizard of that sort who stood out more among his fellows than indicated by the gestalt class you''re attempting to grasp because then, there, few people possessed any class anywhere on his planet, and of those who did, but a little toe''s weight of them were able to fight against monsters.


    ¡°He could, and did, and he overcame so many that the bounties would make your Battler friend the richest women in the world if she killed a thousandth of them. Over time most of his comrades died, and many suffering men and women, and as their number decreased, in similar proportion did his confidence that a future for mortals even existed. He begged the gods to tell him the truth of monsters.


    ¡°Forget what I said about everything being different, because this one thing is the same. By dint of his class he was the priest of a god I will keep nameless because I don''t care. That patron appeared and informed him of the truth of monsters and their source, which is that reality''s generative nature causes things to be that humans, given the choice, and they are not, prefer not to be or to be far away. In other words, these things happen.


    ¡°The archergonist heard that, and don''t think paying attention will do you any good as far as qualifying for the class if the gods of your world, as they have, decided not to make it available, and resolved that reality itself must be removed and replaced. Before you start thinking him a foolish dumb idiot, which your startled face proves you already did, remember how much better this man was than you in every area. His resolve did not fail of an effect. Through experiments of a nature impossible to understand for a Ritualist he constructed a, well, in five thousand years Adabans might come up with a word for it. We will call it a man-made relic, and its name is the Oblivitarch. The Oblivitarch sits in space above worlds in quite a picturesque way without affecting, despite exceeding some of them in its size, their gravity, which I forget if you should know how impossible that is. Probably so, since you have a word for gravity.¡±


    Dirant nodded.


    ¡°He activated it. The Oblivitarch began stripping away reality, and as it did, greater monsters appeared, greater here meaning weirder, which while an unusual use of the term applies better than you should hope ever to learn. The disastrous part was not so much the death and devastation among people, though enough of that there was, but that they fought against the monsters with some success. By doing so, they slowed the dissolution of reality so that it seemed the archergonist''s desire, by being thwarted, caused instead an endless slaughter and corruption, for if monsters had been the only result of reality''s derealitizing, well, so much the better.


    ¡°He viewed that calamity in all the worlds through his tools designed for such and lamented as never had anyone before. ''Oh gods, why did you let me do this?'' he wondered, for with all his intellect no answer to him seemed possible. Remember that the next time you start thinking you''re smart. ''I am the author of deeds worse than any in history! Correct my mistakes and destroy my worthless frame as well, I beg you, if ever before this I did anything of merit!''


    ¡°His patron again came to him and told him to look a little closer if he thought all that tumult even worth mentioning. Baffled but still pious, he looked, and saw people fighting monsters and winning against them, even the weird ones. He, until he did, understood it not, but when he realized something, it was this. People can absorb reality as it flakes off, as it were. That is XP. They then refine through means unimaginable by you but known to me the flakes into a new reality which is applied on top of the old, bit by bit, and neither are they unchanged by the process. The people of every world became stronger and stronger therefore so that they relied no longer on a few exceptional people to defend them. Realizing that, he rejoiced. Then he went on to another project.


    ¡°All that said, the rate the Oblivitarch works is a bit much, hence the Delivery Ritual to provide a slowing of the degradation. Congratulations on keeping your planet''s XP gain low, little priest, because you would like the alternative far less.¡±


    ¡°That''s an amazing story,¡± Dirant said, amazed.


    ¡°It is, yet unlike many in that category it is true as well.¡±


    ¡°Thank you for the instruction, many-manied Holzd. May I ask about another matter?¡±


    ¡°''Many-manied,'' being a silly epithet that is repetitive and short together, is pleasing to me for those reasons. Go ahead.¡±


    ¡°To remember all the parts is impossible for me. Even so, here it is. You gave me a task to deliver an idol. I did so, incidentally causing Wessolp to lose a war exceedingly quickly. Because of the loss, my father sent a trade mission abroad. Because of its speed, Kelnsolt Aradetnaf assisted in fighting pirates. Because of my delivery, Penneram Densos asked me to help him complete the Delivery Ritual. Because of the trade mission, Stansolt Gaomat was able to steal warship plans and I met Lord Audnauj. Because of Kelnsolt''s involvement, the pirates were defeated in time for Vogdi JomOdro to travel to Egillen this year. Because I met Lord Audnauj, he was saved from being kidnapped and willing to help me help Penneram Densos complete the Delivery Ritual. Because Vogdi JomOdro traveled here this year and because I found a second idol while trying to make my delivery, he was willing to help me help Penneram Densos complete the Delivery Ritual. So I was able to do so. Furthermore, and this is conjecture, because I accidentally told then-Miss Ridenad our intimate familial name for Silapobolt, they were married perhaps a month sooner than they might have been and came here, for which reason they were able to help us prevent Vogdi JomOdro from being kidnapped by Glainai Gabas who came here to kidnap him after having to flee Yean Defiafi because of failing a kidnapping attempt because I met Lord Audnauj and Millim Takki Atsa, which is a satisfactory recompense for his helping me help Penneram Densos complete the Delivery Ritual. Yes?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°So. My question is this. Did you plan for everything to happen precisely the way it did? Or is it as I suspect, that you prefer rather to ensure things are happening at all times and any outcome is pleasing to you so long as the steps leading to it are complicated if not convoluted?¡±


    ¡°Dirant Rikelta,¡± the god uttered. ¡°You have become a true priest, capable of glimpsing a, though minuscule, genuine portion of your master''s nature. Next time I will make your task much more difficult.¡±


    ¡°Thank you very much,¡± the Ritualist answered.

 1. The Start Of The Season

    Before The Attendees Have Become Inured To Mediocrity


    The Ritualist''s life is ever one of obligation and study, the members of that class told one another every time they convened, but Dirant Rikelta felt downright merry as he relaxed in his seat. Before him on the stage was being performed a goslikenar of the highest type, which is to say a historical tragedy. Next to him was his guest, and regardless of her eventual opinion of the performance, the historical events which inspired it, or the art form as a whole, at least his invitation provided Millim Takki Atsa of the northern country of Pavvu Omme Os grounds to say for the rest of her life, ¡°Oh, the peculiar Adaban form of theater known as goslikenar? Of course I know about it.¡±


    A single narrator related the story lyrically, this one a deep-voiced man well-suited for the grave subject matter, while behind and around him mute actors added interest by their movements. Some of those were natural, some slow with dramatic intent, and some acrobatic to impress the audience, all according to the outcome of a negotiation among the writer, director, and choreographer. This particular writer was long since deceased, but still he had his say.


    The painted backdrop (naturally a historian had been paid to acknowledge he had been consulted as to the accuracy of the depiction) and the orchestra below completed the production, though the latter made itself known but intermittently. Goslikenar called for music at specific moments which constituted a minority of the performance, unlike the equivalent musical theater of other countries from Chtrebliseu to Swadvanchdeu. Perhaps that was not so great a range of countries. Though those lands sat on the far west and east ends of the continent of Egillen, both had Dvanjchtlivs for their inhabitants. From Chtrebliseu to Obeneut and Pavvu Istis to Drastlif then. All the tribes outside the Greater Enloffenkir confederacy mocked or were puzzled by the art, but the Adabans, Riks, Ottkirs, Mabonns, and Hewekers within liked it this way. The near-universal opposition only hardened them in their preferences.


    The characters came to a bad end, the upright judge and his enemies, all people who once lived and might have objected to their depictions in the present day. The audience collected its coats and umbrellas, necessary accessories for the season, before exiting the building. It was the Twelfth according to the Adaban reckoning of months, the last before spring, when snow and cold made themselves memorable, knowing that to be their last chance to endure in memory.


    Dirant reclaimed a heavy black coat which he appreciated for its warmth-preserving qualities but had come to fear made him look like a warning stone of classical times, a tall dark slab painted some shade of pink or yellow at the top to warn people not to approach closer for fear of disease. Since he had the typical Adaban black hair up top, covering the forehead in the finest modern style though lacking somewhat as to the sideburns, nothing justified his worry. The common Adaban saw his presentable grooming and tailoring, added it to his confident expression, and placed him among the sons of the successful middle segment of society. That observation showed the common Adaban knew a few things. The common Yumin, in contrast, might describe him as someone who looked like he was deciding what to do with conquered territory. What imaginations those other tribes had.


    His companion donned something taken off the backs of fire wolves, monsters which vexed farmers and shepherds with their livestock-melting maws but delighted fur-wearers appreciative of the contrast between the dark outside and orange-ish underside; more practically, a bit of heat lingered long after the monster died. More and more of the fashion-conscious warned against the increasing size of fire wolf coats and how they threatened to hide the natural beauty of the wearer or at least all her jewelry, but Takki, either out of a disdain for that opinion or more probably its lack of penetration as far north as she lived, felt no compunction about wearing enough coat to make her seem doubled in size.


    Since she was of the Jalpi Peffu tribe, the increased height only prevented her from disappearing altogether among Adabans. Dirant decided against saying anything on that topic. Not because her relative shortness bothered her, but rather he imagined that leaning over far enough to reach her ear might lead to back problems later in life. Certainly he was still young, not even a year out of Todelk University''s school of ritualism, the sixth-most prestigious such institution in Greater Enloffenkir, but the wise man cared for his future health and not merely the present.


    ¡°What''s so funny, Ressi? Does tragedy make you happy?¡± Perhaps other attendees leaving the hall overheard Takki''s questions and believed Dirant''s name to be Ressi, but he doubted it. Ressi did not sound at all Adabanish, lacking as it did some sort of -nt or -nk, perhaps an -olt. Rather it signified ¡°otter¡± in Usse and had been assigned as his first name to comply with Pavvu Omme Os standards. He possessed no desire to do so, but he answered to it regardless.


    ¡°It is the nature of theater to delight even as it incites anguish. And now, for the sake of the performers, I must not follow that claim with the true statement that I was thinking of something else entirely. Ah, and now yet a third subject intrudes.¡± It came to mind that while he knew Takki to be an Usse-speaking northerner, likely her auburn hair and lack of conspicuously rosy cheeks which artists often employed to distinguish the people of Pavvu Omme Os and Pavvu Istis caused Grenlofers to mistake her for a Mabonn who adopted a Pavvu Omme Os-style head scarf to stand out.


    ¡°Don''t you agree you''re having all these thoughts because nobody talked during the play? I knew Adabans could be patient, but you have to want to discuss what you just saw and heard, don''t you?¡± She looked up at him, and her earnest face surrounded by all that was left of a fire wolf overcome by her Battler prowess amused Dirant further. What was that line about how all grapes are good to the man already drunk? It was from a different goslikenar, he knew.


    ¡°We do, and it is in this manner. The rest of the evening may be devoted to the topic. The agenda depends on the inclination of the participants who will extend or cut short their time together with these excuses: ''That is all there is to be said about so shallow a work,'' or else, ''I see this work has such subtlety and depth that we must go on till we have exhausted it, for anything less is an insult to the writer.'' The advantage of this approach is flexibility, though the indirectness may grow tiresome.¡±


    The gestures the Jalpi Peffu employed had such mystery and subtlety in them as perplexed the foreigner, but the single wriggling finger Takki brought out related to approval from Dirant''s experience of it. ¡°Oh, I''m glad to hear there''s a protocol. I don''t think I can let you back out when I have so many questions though, so you''ll just have to put up with it.¡±


    The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    The pair set off on a stroll through the streets of Isarpezoltk past music halls, theaters, galleries, and every sort of establishment of cultural weight the city''s government could pack within its limits. The state of Kitslof, much like many of the GE''s members, enjoyed internal rivalries which only strengthened the cities involved, or at least those able to keep up. As for the rest, what was wrong with the humble life? Regardless, Fennizen to the northwest had grown in prosperity and attracted firms and businessmen, Entrepreneurs and Visionaries as well as Functionaries, Administrators, Workmen, and more, to an extent which caused a population deficit in its neighbors which they found difficult to remedy. Isarpezoltk responded by reforming itself into Kitslof''s center of the arts and had succeeded well enough that a minority of the attendees of the first show of the goslikenar season lived there.


    Certainly everyone then in the streets was there for some performance or exhibition. Clumps of people went along in no hurry from one engagement toward another just as Dirant and Takki did, emitting a gentle fog of standard opinions. More incisive criticisms waited for closed doors, since the chance some director or producer would hear an unkind comment uttered in the open approached one in that city.


    Perhaps it was in response to those spontaneous reviews that so many of the buildings of stone and brick seemed to be weeping. In material Fennizen, the phenomenon would have been attributed without hesitation to the melting of that snow which previously made an ornamental layer over roofs and spires, but Isarpezoltk had gone to such expense in the hope of cultivating a more poetic atmosphere that it seemed unmannerly not to succumb to it.


    To Adabans, at least. ¡°I don''t want you to think I wasn''t aware of the format. Everyone knows there''s only one speaking role in goslikenar because of all the jokes about it. What surprised me was the, um, paucity of detail. No one could solve a mystery like that.¡± Takki hopped over a puddle which Dirant chose not to challenge with his 35 Muscle and 44 Coordination. The odds were in his favor, but to leave the attempt to members of classes better suited to it was nothing less than a declaration of support for the twin principles of specialization and cooperation which undergirded modern society. He responded while he stepped around.


    ¡°Our writers must agree, for I believe they gave up their attempts to create goslikenar of that genre years ago in that period when it was definitely concluded that the singers would never allow any other performer to say a word. Subjects with a historical basis are popular because the audience either knows the story already or may have it explained afterward by someone who is doubtless eager to do so.¡±


    ¡°I need you to do that, then. Were they all historical? It was three stories, wasn''t it? I wondered how someone could talk and sing for four hours, but then it made sense when they switched.¡±


    ¡°The main and secondary were historical and the tertiary comedic. Such an arrangement is common.¡±


    ¡°Ressi. I didn''t laugh. Is that bad?¡± Takki twirled the tail of her head scarf she allowed to dangle over one shoulder. ¡°It can''t be. Nobody else did either.¡±


    Dirant laughed for her, and for the entire audience while he was at it. It was consequently a short laugh. ¡°There is no expectation that you will. Inside a Hippo Bag is a moral comedy and therefore not funny. It functions to rescue the audience from the tragedy of the main story for the duration of the interval. In moral comedy, the characters get what they deserve, more or less, and reform is possible. Another example of the type will soon be enacted when I proceed to a restaurant and order dinner, which I deserve by virtue of having money. And will you join me for that, or?¡±


    ¡°I see this work has such subtlety and depth that . . .¡±


    ¡°Are you certain you are not an Adaban?¡±


    Dirant was comfortable in regard to that virtue. In addition to the salary of a company Ritualist, which the bachelor free of bad habits found lavish and the gambler with four wives in three towns so far from sufficient as not to be worth mentioning, the sale of an artifact of the Hoduuri civilization to an interested collector had contributed 3,500 miskhanenar to his personal treasury. That was a stock of silver coins nearly equal to four years of his salary, and he had invested most of it as quickly as he was able into ventures likely to be profitable such as Onlova Pilnostoreska, PonnDonnTonn Construction, and Kelnsolt Aradetnaf. Beyond all that, another source of revenue had opened up even more recently. Nothing more was required to ensure a good mood in a Fennizener.


    As for Takki, she could afford some salt herself, not that she was paying. The income of an Omme hunter had nothing admirable about it as far as consistency, though the valor which secured those unpredictable bounties surely must win praise. At least the amounts when they came were often large. The hoarbirds had come to Pavvu Omme Os and been forcibly removed, leaving Millim Takki Atsa with both pay and time to go see a show down south. ¡°There shouldn''t be anything big until the annual irruption,¡± she told the Ritualist less acquainted with the cycles of monsters.


    ¡°The annual irruption, then, is that event called the Spring Storm here, or? When monsters emerge in such numbers that we all must drop our private business to assist. Even I am called upon to provide various disinfectant and immunization rituals devised for the purpose.¡±


    Takki looked around the table in concern until Dirant nudged a salt cellar toward her with a movement too subtle to be perceived by someone lacking at least the Discernment required to qualify for the Battler class. Not all Adaban restaurants had such conveniences, and if anyone had suggested Dirant chose that place for the very reason that it did, he would have been pleased to have his consideration recognized. Takki supplemented the salt already present on her lamb dish and resumed the conversation. ¡°That must be it. Spring Storm. That''s a reasonable enough name. A lot of cultural differences are like that, aren''t they? When anything will work, you can just pick one and it''ll function well enough. Then there are things I have a harder time understanding. For instance, in the one story, the second one, wasn''t it? Were we supposed to admire that High-Boot Gang? I really think they were being treated as the heroes, but they''re just robbers, aren''t they? I don''t think that would work in Rattap Tuik.¡±


    The occasion seemed unfavorable to reproach Takki for suspecting Adabans to be more supportive of robbery than Jalpi Peffu who rejoiced in countless stories of raids and outlaws, but he stored it for later use. ¡°This is the art of arranging goslikenar performances as a set. The audience must have its interpretation of the secondary affected by the primary. In another context the High-Boot Gang might be lauded for the daring of its members, but when contrasted with the history of an energetic and dispassionate enforcer of the law unjustly come to ruin, our sympathies must be against the criminals.¡±


    ¡°Oh! That sounds very artful, but does it really happen? I mean, have you seen that secondary performed with a different primary?¡±


    ¡°I have, and the iniquity of the government in the primary was so deep that it prepared us to accept any crime of the private citizen as a lesser thing altogether.¡±


    Takki leveled a menacing fork at him. ¡°Ressi, is that really artistic, or is it a scheme to get you to attend repeat performances so they don''t have to pay as many writers?¡±


    ¡°I question the existence of a dichotomy.¡±


    Such was the nature of the discussion over dinner and past it. Takki did not become a lover of goslikenar by the time she retired; explanations, clarifications, and justifications are not what endear entertainment to the audience. Even so, she gained a more intellectual sort of respect for the cultural products of Greater Enloffenkir, a foundation for further exploration in the future if she wished, and points to bring up in conversation back home which would assure her a reputation for being well-traveled and cosmopolitan. Dirant retired as well, satisfied that he had done his guest a service and wary of dragging out the night too long. However much he wanted to taste Isarpezoltk from floor to ceiling, which was little, he needed to get up the next day, look in on some things, and return to his work in Fennizen.

 2. On Premonition And Its Likelihood

    That It Is Possible To Foresee The Future Is Disproved By This Fact, That Those Who Claim The Capability Are Not Wealthy


    Popcorn was his assignment and the newest addition to the offerings of Stadeskosken, a firm engaged in such an array of profitable activities as sometimes obscured its initial and central purpose of providing rapid, secure, and discreet transportation of goods. The office in Isarpezoltk had renovated its lobby to make space for a counter and, out of sight, a stove. Over that stove and throughout the interior of a box designed to cover it ran lines of ritualistic import, the components of a recently invented Popcorn Regularization Ritual which altered the percentages of kernels popped and burned in opposite directions, both favorable.


    The difficulty of getting the most out of that curious corn variety had previously relegated it to a novelty intended for festivals, but this new process altered the calculation. Stadeskosken''s founder, Haderslant Rikelta, not only hoped to improve customer engagement and satisfaction by including popcorn in every public-facing office, but even to profit off sales of popcorn directly within no more than ten years.


    For that reason, Dirant Rikelta had been dispatched to Isarpezoltk to oversee the erection of a popcorn stand and to train the single Ritualist posted there. Normally an instructional scroll sufficed to teach any number of properly educated Ritualists a single ritual, but a desire to keep the process secret led Stadeskosken to rely on two of its employees, Donnlink Espahalpt and Dirant Rikelta, to teach the others face to face. Aside from the loss of a competitive advantage should some competitor learn the secret, loose security might violate the licensing agreement by which the company was allowed to use the invention and thereby incur a fine to be paid to the ritual''s creators, Donnlink Espahalpt and Dirant Rikelta.


    That was the latest adornment to Dirant''s golden portfolio, though as the assistant he earned little out of the licensing fees compared to Mr. Donnlink, the actual developer, who had come to devote most of his leisure time between his daily duties as a Ritualist supervisor for Stadeskosken to the study of popcorn after heartbreak made other pastimes unbearable. Eventually he set himself to furthering the knowledge of society the way Ritualists kept telling everyone they always did with the help of a subordinate who had as much free time during the winter if far less romantic disappointment.


    The results were the new ritual, a promotion for Donnlink to the novel position of Ritual Research Manager, and an order from Haderslant to find out if there was some way to own everything his employees made outside work hours in order that those licensing fees would be the last he had to pay. All that explained why Dirant was looking over the inside of a box for errors with the design drawn therein (of course the outside which depicted an otter holding a single popped corn was flawless in conception and technique) when a gentleman walked in.


    Stadeskosken''s prosperity had not fallen far enough for that to cause any uproar. At first Dirant paid no attention whatsoever. Neither did the customer''s appearance demand any particular reaction, given that he was an Adaban of average height, above average in most countries, who had slicked back what was left of his gray hair in the Yean Defiafi style and lost nothing of the attractive pleasantness of his features for it.


    The oddity about the visit derived from the revelation that he was not a customer. The man seemed embarrassed to trouble anyone, even a receptionist whose job it was to be troubled, but might he have permission simply to observe for a time? It was only that recently two of his children had entered the employ of this firm of which he had never heard. While he, Delaosant Paspaklest, was sure Stadeskosken was a reputable business because, as they would not mind hearing, he had made inquiries to that effect and received assurances from people who ought to know, a father had his worries. He would like, if it could be arranged without ill consequence, to speak with someone able to instruct him in the nature and organization of the company.


    The morning traffic that day passed the office with but a few detours into it, and therefore nobody minded if an unobtrusive bystander took up a small amount of space on that day unlikely to include a visit from a main office higher-up wondering if efficiency was being kept to Fennizen standards. Which of course it was not, but what could be expected of Isarpezoltk''s residents? It was a lucky escape if they did not decide to carve a marble replica of the gentleman to make a local mascot of him and give up transportation entirely in favor of forming a theatrical company.


    Ritualist discipline, which ought to have been a class ability but was not, allowed Dirant to amuse himself with thoughts along that line without impairing his inspection of the box''s internal design. While he did so, a manager came to oblige the gentleman, who after introducing himself as Delaosant Paspaklest was escorted to an upstairs office. With one eye on that and the other on his work, a sensation far beyond the routine afflicted the Ritualist. A test faced by an insufficiently prepared student, a ship''s crew falling silent, a sighting of giants or adakigens near the family farm; that sort of feeling of doom as if the blood drained from his body for a moment before the vital liquid returned in a rush he could hear, and as it poured itself through his body it formed these words: A terrible fate threatens that man.


    Had Dirant been working too hard? Considering how he had spent the previous evening, it seemed impossible. Even before that, instructing the local Ritualist had been as easy a task as ever any employee had been assigned. Did he, in his current good fortune, worry about the worst out of an understanding that not everywhere at once can the world support happiness? Before Dirant became anxious about developing a gloomy personality, he took the first step always suggested in the event of an undefinable sensation. He checked his status. Perhaps a new ability had shown up and he missed the message.


    The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    <blockquote>


    Ritualist


    Priest of Holzd


    LV 8 10/1000


    HP 268


    Muscle 35 (+1)


    Coordination 44 (+5)


    Verve 42 (+3)


    Sticktoitiveness 56 (+5)


    Discernment 69 (+5)


    Gumption 26 (+3)


    Tit-for-Tat 42 (+1)


    Receptivity 87 (+6)


    Panache 46 (+4)


    Class Abilities


    Ritual Judgment


    Ritual Completion


    Ritual Memory


    Ritual Delay


    Ritual Substitution


    Ritual Development


    Divine Guidance (Hunch)


    Ritual Humility


    Ritual Revelation


    General Abilities


    Adaban (Fluent)


    Heweks (Fluent)


    Yumin (Fluent)


    Tabilidgeir (Intermediate)


    Dvanj (Intermediate)


    Desurvyai (Basic)


    Saueo (Basic)


    Usse (Basic)


    Mercantile Fundamentals


    Horse Riding (Intermediate)


    Class Perception (Divine)


    </blockquote>


    His most recent optional acquisition, Ritual Development, said nothing in the description about prophecies of dread and horror. It did replace his Gumption with 0.4 times his Receptivity if higher in circumstances to which Receptivity might apply, a substitution which might cause impulsiveness capable of producing unfavorable results. For him. Probably not for Delaosant Paspaklest. Could Divine Guidance (Hunch) have done something? He had never used that ability (in accordance with a policy he still considered wise), and because of that very shunning, he did not understand its specifics.


    The description stated it activated upon concentration. Thinking legalistically, appropriate since the god who bequeathed the ability was known as the guide to the laws, it did not specify the subject of concentration. He had been concentrating. No logician could do finer.


    During that engrossing rumination, it went off again, perhaps. Dirant''s head snapped up right on time to see a figure through the sheer mabonnpaper filling one of the building''s window frames, and his gut warned him of something or other. Divine Guidance (Hunch) could never be accused of deception when it announced its limitation right there inside the parentheses, and yet he would have appreciated the ability more had it offered specifics or suggested methods to avoid unhappy doom. As it was, Dirant saw nothing he could do besides his job for all the disturbances his Divine Guidance inflicted on him.


    That done, Dirant reported to the branch manager and subsequently began his trip back to Fennizen alongside Millim Takki Atsa, who had not yet exhausted her vacation period or interest in Kitslof as a microcosm of Greater Enloffenkir. The most desperate tourism committee could never have anything to say about that route and still less in the Twelfth, but Takki remained cheerful as she looked around. Dirant tried to match her in that, but his true mood was not so concealed as a professional actor might have managed.


    ¡°What kind of otter is sad about returning to its holt?¡± Takki''s cheer grew continuously greater throughout the time it took to ask that single question.


    ¡°Ah, do I appear so glum as that? Honesty again interferes with pleasant conversation to impose upon a companion, and all I can say is that it is a small matter so long as I ignore all finer feeling. Here is a question. Suppose one suspects on the basis of an unreliable class ability that a person, not a friend or even an acquaintance, may meet with disaster. This is not an imagined scenario, and so?¡±


    ¡°And so nothing. Write poetry about the world''s imperfections. That can''t be all, Ressi.¡±


    ¡°I agree with you on both points. Here is a further consideration, and here I must ask that for this conversation it is presumed that gods exist and are capable of interfering, or intervening . . . no, interfering is the word.¡±


    ¡°Even if, well, never mind.¡± Takki began to prepare for an intellectual contest the moment gods were mentioned but backed down when she reassessed Dirant''s serious mien. ¡°Let''s say I accept the condition.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡± Dirant took a few seconds to discard the argument he planned to make against potential objections that he might replace it with the main point. ¡°Even if my condition is accepted, there is no assurance that humans have any influence on when and how the gods choose to meddle.¡± Takki refrained from pointing out that was almost exactly what she wanted to say. ¡°In which case prayer is of no significance. If it is, however, possible to direct the attention of a pliable god to a matter such as the future of that stranger, is it proper to do so? Consider that the methods of the gods as reported by the pious, let alone skeptics and cynics, are often troublesome in themselves. Consider also that the stranger has not asked for assistance and might well resent it as an intrusion in his private affairs, and neither would he be wrong to say so.¡±


    ¡°Hm.¡± Takki set all her Discernment to the somewhat-rambly problem, and since she had 58 points of it, she soon had things to say. ¡°For that last part, I''ll just say ''Adabans'' and leave it at that. You don''t mind, do you? Now I''m going to tell you what you already know, which is that you report problems to the lieutenant-governor assigned to your district. How he got there and what he''ll do with your report have nothing to do with you. Or do you know that? I don''t entirely understand how Adabans view their governments. They set up so many of them, but as soon as they do, they speak dismissively about them as if there were no connection.¡±


    ¡°It''s a question of things which must be accomplished. The proper place of the mayor is in front of a new building and nowhere else. Ah, and before political theory distracts me, I must acknowledge I am won over by your argument.¡±


    Another fact which he chose not to mention was that not only did he believe the gods existed, he further had been informed that every single person except for the Zeroes who had not yet entered a class belonged to the priesthood of one or the other of the gods, who provided all those helpful abilities upon which society relied. During the few hours of the trip, he composed a prayer to his patron. ¡°Oh, Holzd the Rearranger, if Divine Guidance (Hunch) which is a gift from you presages doom for Delaosant Paspaklest, I beg that you mitigate the harm or prevent it entirely, for it is to you that we entrust no simple thing but the most intricate matters only.¡± There. With his duty done so far as he understood it, Dirant permitted the moral burden to tumble from his back to the dusty ground. Of course beneath him at the moment was a wide, well-paved road, and beyond that more frost than dust covered the ground, but he left those details also to his god.

 3. As To The Advisability Of Expansion

    The Dying Business Frequently Makes A Show Of Growth To Fool Investors


    Fennizen was as unlike Isarpezoltk as any two cities in Kitslof, and so they resembled each other greatly. Perhaps a complete survey would reveal in Fennizen slightly fewer tailors capable of costume work and a few more makers and repairers of clocks and, more recently, watches. It was on a floor above one such shop that Dirant lived. To be able to tell people, ¡°Ah yes, I rent a floor,¡± contributed to his choice of lodgings, and if the floor in question covered a space only slightly larger than a single room in a mansion of Redrin''s noble Dvanjchtlivan families, it was out of a desire to give no insult to said aristocrats that he forbore to mention it. Moreover, the clockman who owned the place had sold him at a low price a watch abandoned by its owner, which gave Dirant the satisfaction of being not too far behind the farthest, most exciting boundaries of technology and fashion.


    He cleared a few books off his desk, some grammars and lexicons of Saueo, Obaluon (and its brother Ashuraluon), Drastlimez, and Yosribdi. Certain signs gave him cause to think management might go through with creating a position of Itinerant Ritualist, the foremost of them being that his brother Silapobenk once said so. Since Silapobenk Rikelta, or Silone before and after office hours, could be expected to take over the company after their father''s retirement, his opinions meant something, and accordingly Dirant''s ambition to claim the post for himself had him studying the many languages of the continent not already known to him. While he had not achieved Basic in any so far, he had been at it for but a short time.


    What he wanted on his desk then was the latest letter from Lord Audnauj Olzenchipt Stavripdeu Blawraj, also on the subject of language studies. That exalted son of Redrin wished to thank Dirant for suggesting that he force his servants to join him in his Yosribdi studies. The results were as predicted. He did admit to some trepidation as to the prospect of their all becoming Fluent, but not even the sun knew what the world would be then, for it died every day and was reborn.


    Dirant''s response assured Lord Audnauj there were other languages, however less appealing their study. There were other servants too, but that stayed out of the letter. It was a pedantic point unlikely to lead to anything productive. It may not have been true, either. He knew nothing about employment conditions in Redrin. Audnauj might have snapped up the last few Yumins both interested in and suited for domestic service. Much else of what went on in that country was no more probable.


    His correspondence completed, Dirant embarked on his working-day procedure of walking to a Stadeskosken-rented warehouse where he asked the new supervisor how many Preservation Rituals needed performing or if another Ritualist had been brought in to train. None and no, it turned out, leaving him more time to assist with Stadeskosken''s core function of producing, sorting, and discarding forms. If he bore tedious labor unrelated to his actual profession with better humor than he had in the past, the cause lay in precedent that assured him he would eventually get to do something better. The evidence of the past did not, this time, delude him.


    ¡°For you, Mr. Dirant.¡± A colleague dropped a note on the desk Dirant was using and walked off before the recipient could call him back and demand to know from which of his parents he inherited the audacity to treat the owner''s son in so brusque a manner. Since no such idea occurred to Dirant, it worked out well for everyone.


    The note was quite brusque itself. ¡°To my office. Silone.¡± Perhaps his oldest brother wanted to set an example to the company about saving ink when possible, though in that case, ¡°My office¡± would have transmitted the message clearly enough, provided he could trust his brother to recognize his handwriting. Regretting the waste, Dirant left the warehouse and walked to the slightly nicer and much quieter main offices where nobody had occasion to drop a crate on anybody else''s foot.


    ¡°Drastlif,¡± his brother greeted him. Older, a tad shorter, a slight bit redder of hair, and far more bespectacled than the second Dir of the family as he was, the main thing that distinguished Silone from little Dirtwo was the marble desk behind which he sat. Nice pens, too. ¡°Is there any reason which prevents you from traveling there? Legal entanglements, perhaps?¡±


    ¡°Not at all.¡±


    ¡°Good. Congratulations on your promotion to Itinerant Ritualist. It will be short-lived. Our single branch office in Drastlif requires modernization, and its two Ritualists, training. You will travel with a group of employees assigned there. Mr. Selmikent is making the arrangements. See him after lunch.¡±


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    Dirant left. Outside, he reflected what a terrible lesson he was learning about effort, since the desired position came to him without regard for any of that troublesome language-learning he began when still naive enough to imagine jobs had qualifications aside from being in the vicinity when the work needed doing. On the other hand, he and Donnlink Espahalpt had worked hard on the popcorn ritual, and that was paying off. He decided he would tell his grandchildren that second story alone.


    To Millim Takki Atsa he told the entire thing, since if she had not already been corrupted by such incidents in her own life, she must be immune. ¡°That''s fantastic,¡± she said, taking no notice of the moral implications. ¡°Do you think you''ll have any adventures there?¡±


    Dirant reckoned the probabilities based on the typical work environment of a Ritualist (inside a warehouse), the amount of danger in the routine operations of the company (none), and the likelihood Holzd, the god who yearned for complexity, would involve him in something messy (non-negligible). ¡°No,¡± he said.


    ¡°I think you might be miscalculating, Ressi. This isn''t an everyday occurrence. Isarpezoltk is just a few hours away and you came away from there with all kinds of theological speculation based on non-theoretical happenings, so extrapolate that with the distance to Drastlif in mind. What does that mean, by the way? Isarpezoltk?¡±


    ¡°Yellow Grain Town.¡±


    ¡°Thank you. Anyway, you''ll have an adventure. Could you get your company to pay for my trip there? I can be a temporary security hire.¡±


    ¡°No, and indeed you will not envy those of us so compensated. With that understood, is it true that you intend to take a journey parallel with mine? The normal process is for the gentleman to persuade or even cajole the lady, sometimes resorting to underhanded tactics.¡±


    Takki flicked a finger in his direction. ¡°Oh, but you already did that by pretending not to be getting yourself into trouble somehow.¡±


    ¡°All I can do then is apologize.¡±


    ¡°It''s flattering to be cajoled sometimes, Ressi. I really think you should try it more.¡±


    Dirant considered that advice when he came up against personnel manager Selmikent Distera a short time later. Two possible allies were to share the meeting. One was unknown to him, a stocky young man with great tufts of Adaban-standard black hair which he allowed, or encouraged rather, to cover his forehead. Despite that, something of the Ottkir might be seen in his eyes that seemed to be looking at nothing in particular which existed within the physical realm.


    As for the other, he and Dirant were already acquainted. Stansolt Gaomat walked in and eased the door closed. Lighter of hair and eye than most Adabans, all the way to light brown, he could not be mistaken for anything but a Sivoslofer if anyone asked him. Otherwise, it would have been easy. His easy smile and effortless manners always caused those around him to relax except for Dirant, whose anxiety doubled upon seeing him there. With Stansolt as one of the Drastlif-bound employees, would there be intrigue after all? He tried to remind himself how thin were his grounds for suspecting Stansolt to be an agent of the Sivoslof government.


    ¡°Right on time and it''s good to see you. Are we ready, or?¡± The personnel manager''s Silapobenk impression could use work. Unless he was trying to cultivate an image of greater consideration, in which case he ought not to have bothered on occasions when he was trying to stick three employees on a single hammock strung up inside the ship''s cargo hold. ¡°You can take turns,¡± he explained. ¡°They''re called shifts when you''re at sea.¡±


    ¡°And elsewhere, I believe.¡± Dirant leaned forward and lowered his voice to let Mr. Selmikent know what was said inside the office would remain there. ¡°Is it your intention to trick us into arranging our own trips at our own expense?¡±


    Stansolt grinned while the other employee, Banfol Mektariken as it happened, hesitated. He suspected the same of course, but was it acceptable to expose a manager in that manner? Evidently so, the evidence being that Selmikent retreated to a defensive position.


    ¡°My intention? To do anything less than the most for our employees? Is that your accusation, sir?¡± The injured dignity audible in the manager''s voice and apparent in his stiff back convinced everyone Dirant was correct. ¡°You are free to believe that if such is your inclination, but perhaps there is enough charity in you to listen to this important factor. At the port you will be met by two further employees. One is a woman. We must not have a woman traveling close to four young men, only one of them her brother, or am I wrong? So you must be very far away in the ship.¡±


    Shame and embarrassment overcame someone, somewhere, but not Dirant. He felt only pleasure he had the opportunity to allay Mr. Selmikent''s reasonable concern. ¡°Ah, then I must tell you another woman will be making the journey to Drastlif at the same time.¡±


    Stansolt was already smiling beyond mere good nature, as he had already met Takki. The manager had not.


    ¡°That hardly improves matters. Only two women are in no way¡ª¡±


    ¡°Her class is Battler.¡± At that, the personnel manager stared like an official confronted in court with his private records and Stansolt chuckled. In the end, Dirant won himself and his traveling companions an amount of credit equal to half the intended budget of their company accommodations should they wish to make their own arrangements, which of course they did. The outcome was especially welcome to Banfol, who could not call on the resources of a state intelligence ministry to fund his travels. Not that anyone else in that room could be proved to have access to such a resource.

 4. The Romance Of The Port

    Obviously Unhealthy Locations Nevertheless May Possess A Powerful Allure


    The city of Ilstehost resembled a wetter Fennizen, and nothing convinced Dirant he ought to consider it any deeper than that. That the virtues of its harbor combined with its proximity to the wide and sluggish Ontoffemmiror River, the longest in Greater Enloffenkir, to make it an ideal location for commerce had been fully understood so long ago that no modern man of business could shake the world by taking advantage of the fact. A city is only founded once, barring calamity.


    The trip downriver toward it had proceeded without incident unless one included the confusion felt by the sole foreign member of the traveling party, a young lady from outside Greater Enloffenkir and Stadeskosken both.


    ¡°I understand Mr. Banfol disclosed he''s an Ottkir. We don''t have to go over that.¡± The riverboat put limits on physical expressions of frustration. Doubtless that aggravated Takki yet more. ¡°The part that I''m having trouble with is the way it happened. The two of you asked, ''Are you not an Ottkir?'' Something like that. How did you know?¡±


    ¡°Is it uncomfortable to address this in front of you, Mr. Banfol?¡±


    ¡°Never, so long as it''s instructive. Edification is the watchword, is it not so?¡±


    With permission received, Dirant offered an explanation. ¡°First, Banfol Mektariken is perhaps the most Ottkir name ever conceived by the fond parents of a healthy infant.¡±


    ¡°Certainly true,¡± Stansolt agreed. ¡°It almost sounds invented. I would be suspicious if someone registered at a hotel with that name.¡±


    Somehow their answers did not satisfy Takki. ¡°Can you dig that up a bit more? Shouldn''t it sound like a Rik name? ''Riken¡± is right there.¡±


    ¡°There''s no significance there,¡± Stansolt asserted. ¡°You can find Rik-somethings everywhere, sometimes sharing a boat with you. Do you disagree, Mr. Dirant of the Rikelta family?¡±


    ¡°I do. Only to be contrary though, since of course you are correct. The thing to do is go through hotel registries, guest lists, or records of births and deaths. Soon the atmosphere the names of various tribes create will become evident.¡±


    ¡°We can try,¡± Takki allowed, though that sort of activity appealed more to her historian father.


    ¡°Then there is your speech, Mr. Banfol. As Ottkir accents go, it is quite mild and yet detectable nevertheless. A linguist must be consulted for a lucid explanation, but we have a demonstration available to us.¡± Dirant cleared his throat and recited the first paragraph of One Mile Past That, a novel too many children were forced to read, in his precise Kitslofer fashion that precluded any fancy about any T''s being another letter. Stansolt Gaomat repeated the passage in the breathy tones of Sivoslof. Banfol finished with the addition of vowels unknown to the others for all that they were written A and E.


    Takki pondered the three versions. ¡°You do say it differently, but I don''t know how much of that is where you''re from and what''s personal. Mr. Silapobenk and Mr. Silapobezor have to have the same accent as you, Ressi, but that doesn''t mean you sound identical.¡±


    ¡°It''s an encouragement to hear you say so.¡± What lurked behind that remark was another comment once made which still bothered Dirant, that being Takki''s surprise at hearing of the various mothers of his brothers because he resembled Silone so closely in several key ways, particularly his smile. He had not yet recovered.


    Putting that aside, and putting aside also the idea of a prize for the best recitation which would have gone to Stansolt Gaomat, the three Grenlofers continued their cooperation in the hope of instructing an open-minded foreigner, the native''s greatest pleasure. They reproduced the various accents and dialects of all speakers of Adaban and Heweks as well as they were able, which was not well at all. Never since the establishment of the confederation had its several constituent tribes suffered such indignity. When they added Tabilidgeir as well, the matter threatened to become an incitement to war.


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    All that ended upon the boat''s arrival at its destination, a river dock a short way from Ilstehost. The group paused in the great port itself just long enough to take in a bit of the local speech as a further aid to Takki''s studies before boarding the Oskid. There they met the final two Stadeskosken employees assigned to the Drastlif branch.


    Ruddy of face and long of limb, the Adaban fellow waiting onboard appeared too athletic for it to be quite proper to confine him within a warehouse. Fortunately, the company held no such intention. ¡°Greetings! Are we ready to head south? With your translator here, there''s no reason to worry about a thing as far as language. Ah, our meeting is a blessing for me. I''m Onkallant Paspaklest.¡± He grabbed Stansolt''s hand with both of his and shook, then repeated the maneuver with Dirant and Banfol. ¡°That''s how they do it in Drastlif, so don''t think badly of me for trying to prepare you. Now, who of you is what?¡±


    That family name disturbed Dirant and no one else, leaving the others to see to courtesy. ¡°No less for me,¡± Stansolt said in response to the middle part of the greeting, which already seemed a matter for historians. ¡°I am Stansolt Gaomat, another hand for the branch office and glad at the chance.¡± He nodded to the woman near Onkallant if not quite beside him.


    ¡°But really as security, if I am not mistaken.¡± Onkallant''s voice boomed too much for secrecy, so it was just as well he made no attempt at it. ¡°We must not worry about her. When have sisters ever counted? Ah, no, I will do it after all. This opportunity is a blessing for me. Onerid Paspaklest, who will be taking over as Hospitality Manager there. A big promotion, but necessary. You see, more and more Adabans are coming to realize that when the Drastlifan ladies put together a little meet-up, never does it end without business being done, and customarily men are not invited. So really you are now a party planner, translator, and negotiator all in one, Onerid. Still the one salary, however.¡±


    ¡°No less for me. I am Millim Takki Atsa, Takki if you will.¡± Takki adjusted the typical greeting formula of the locals to account for the fact they would most certainly call her Millim otherwise. ¡°Is that true, Miss Onerid? I don''t know much about Drastlif. Oh, and I''m not a part of your company, by the way, but we''ll be sharing the voyage.¡±


    Onerid, a typical black-haired Adaban woman who would have loomed over Takki had she been so rude as to engage in such an act, brushed aside the bangs that hung just over her eyebrows. A pointless effort, since there was nowhere else for them to go. Dirant recognized the gesture as one generally used by the irritated. Likely it was her brother who caused the feeling; the sister seemed inclined to follow standard etiquette and take up no more space or make any further gesture than was necessary, behavior quite unlike Onkallant''s. Above anything, she gave the impression of being suited for the role of a librarian who insists on removing rowdy patrons from the premises and whose idea of rowdiness is as broad as philosophy itself. ¡°It is so. May I also mention, since we are interspersing lectures with our introductions as, well, as our father taught us never to do, that no little amount of business is done on the tennis courts as well, which is the reason management thought it wise to hire as a translator someone of the kind he is.¡±


    The most awkward situation is that in which the participants are unsure if it is. Onkallant prevented that by whooping and pointing out, ¡°But we are not our father! And our father spent his time surrounded by people who knew the country well, not newcomers unaware even of what to ask. Move on, move on.¡±


    And they did. Banfol stepped forward. ¡°For me as well.¡± He bowed toward Onerid. ¡°Banfol Mektariken. Just a hand, nothing else.¡± Onkallant shook his hand again for more practice while Onerid curtsied twice to make sure Banfol saw it around her brother''s bulk.


    The last to go had something in mind. ¡°No less for me. I am Dirant Rikelta, and is it possible that this father you mention is named Delaosant Paspaklest?¡±


    ¡°Both possible and certain,¡± Onkallant assured him. ¡°You, ah, don''t look quite like an acquaintance he would have.¡±


    Onerid gasped. ¡°Onkallant!¡±


    ¡°He doesn''t, though.¡±


    ¡°Do you know the name of the very head of our company? Haderslant Rikelta? Do you even know the company''s name?¡±


    ¡°That might change things I suppose . . .¡±


    Dirant assured them his knowledge of their father came only by happenstance and had little enough to it, all the while thinking of other things and developing theories. He looked back toward the port at the earliest opportunity consistent with politeness to confirm the unnerving sensation within him had the cause he believed. It did. There, waving to the ship with one impossibly long arm, was a small figure not quite fashionable in his color-changing vest and not close to human in his round, spinning eyes and metallic skin. Holzd, the god of Ritualists and complications, was seeing him off. It seemed the divine agent used to deliver Delaosant from misfortune was to be the one who prayed for the intercession, and for a moment Dirant Rikelta, priest of Holzd, again pondered a class change. His 56 Sticktoitiveness objected, however.

 5. Crossing The Arch Sea

    Whereas Primitive Man Feared Sea Travel For Superstitious Reasons, The Modern Traveler''s Aversion Is Based On Facts


    A crossing of the Arch Sea, mild and pirate-free, gave its passengers time to come to hate one another, and how the poets mourned that swiftness in love is never believed, but no less urgent a hatred is easily accepted. There were other reasons fathers disliked poets, but that one sufficed. Still, whatever one thought of sudden romance, the six days to Drastlif could be spent enjoyably, given the proper roster of passengers.


    In that case, the presence of non-Stadeskosken-employees aboard, not only the crew and Takki but other Grenlofers bound for Drastlif, permitted an escape from colleagues before the same points were repeated too often. Furthermore, the apparent difference in interest and temperament between Dirant and Onkallant left him without disappointment when they failed to become close friends. Instead, the Ritualist appreciated what merits in the man he did perceive, such as how helpful the translator tried to be in preparing his colleagues for the scene of their upcoming labors.


    ¡°I grew up there,¡± Onkallant told them. ¡°Onerid did also, and yet though we are not so far apart in years, there is a lot in those few. Well, it does not matter so much. I remember more of our father''s associates in the embassy, and what that''s worth isn''t a full ezola.¡±


    Which embassy required no clarification, since Greater Enloffenkir as a whole maintained one and no other. Efforts to establish similar institutions in other countries always stumbled at the same obstacles, most importantly disagreements among member states as to what policies to pursue. With Drastlif, it was simple: agree to broadening of trade and agitate for lowered tariffs. Nothing more. Drastlif''s naval interests pointed toward the distant Geft continent while its land interests consisted primarily of not wanting to be invaded by Noiswawau or Swadvanchdeu and thus were in perfect harmony with the inclinations of every GE state.


    Accordingly, the mines, forges, farms, and orchards of the confederation sent their products across the Arch Sea in exchange for the famed workmanship of the Drastlifars, whose tireless attention to detail gave the world such tapestries as defied the attempts of other countries to replicate and whose dedication to increasing the scope of their skill led to innovations later copied by the rest of Egillen without exception. The cheap watch Dirant owned but intended to put away upon reaching the ship''s destination before any Drastlifars saw it, for example.


    The average GE citizen possessed sufficient awe of Drastlif''s technical accomplishments not to bother looking past them, unless it was to put a big hunk of meat on a spit for an outdoor celebration. Most had but the vaguest idea about anything else Drastlifan. Oligarchs controlled the government, was that not correct? They built large temples, did they not? Families distinguished themselves by colored shields governed by elaborate rules transmitted in obscure terminology, if my friend recently returned from Dubwasef told me true?


    ¡°Ah, heraldry? Certainly so. Here.¡± In response to such inquiries from his fellow passengers, Onkallant removed from his belt a stout fan fashioned perhaps from metal. When opened, the fan offered the viewer a strange scene painted in vivid colors quite unlike the realistic tapestries for which foreigners paid so much. ¡°Mr. Dirant, how would you describe that?¡±


    Unsure whether he was consulted as a token of honor to the boss''s son so trivially insulted earlier or as a challenge from a man who freely admitted himself to be of the Sportsman class, Dirant chose to participate in the exercise despite hearing a sound of disgruntlement from Onerid''s direction. ¡°The presented image is of two cattle, I believe, head-to-head. There is corn behind one and palm trees behind the other, perhaps to represent the GE and Drastlif respectively. They are standing on green and blue fields separated by an uneven boundary, though for a cow to stand on water is beyond the ability of most breeds. Perhaps the Drastlifars have developed a superior stock. There are gold circles around the edge. The message is one of appreciation for a diplomat''s work I would say if pressed by a professor.¡±


    Onkallant grinned and showed the fan to the others. ¡°You have that last part quite right. This shield was granted to our father after he retired, for there are twelve of those circles, one for each of his years in the embassy. What a rare honor that was for an outsider to bear one. You must apply to the Permissive Council for the right to carry a shield, you know. The design, too, you comprehend fully, but isn''t there something in your brain telling you to describe it as per pale engrailed vert and azure, an orle of twelve ipapobar, two kine respectant gules within six corn slipped or and as many palms argent?¡±


    Stansolt whistled a tune like the country boy walking past the museum in the story, Takki reached for a notebook, and Banfol looked puzzled along with most of the other passengers about, all while Onerid rolled her eyes. Dirant only answered, ¡°There is, though it never before revealed itself to me. Neither it is likely I will remember that, since my education prepared my memory for rituals and nothing else.¡±


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    Onkallant''s repeated nods as he folded his fan back up indicated his sympathies still lay with Adaban culture for all that his upbringing encouraged a distant allegiance. ¡°I used to say I had no idea how you Ritualists do it. At last I realized that memorizing all this stuff left so little room for anything else that I am irretrievably simple-minded. I have my fun though, don''t doubt it. Ah, my sister is again angered!¡±


    In fact she did not care quite enough for anger, but mere irritation did well enough. The relationship between the siblings, their fellow voyagers learned, was of a more remote sort than circumstances conspired to imply at their first meeting. Onerid had been a Stadeskosken employee for some time while Onkallant sought a position only recently, and it was his hiring which brought them into contact after years of seeing little of each other. Still, the sister felt a familial connection powerful enough to justify a harrumph or two.


    ¡°Miss Onerid, do you get to use that shield?¡± Takki asked. ¡°I heard there are restrictions.¡±


    ¡°The right is granted to the entire family, with one difference I will show you if you wish.¡± Onerid whipped from a sash a fan which Dirant had until then thought to be a buckle or some plain ornament. Hers showed a similar image, except confined to a perfect circle whereas Onkallant''s imitated a shield wide at the top and narrow at the base. ¡°All women use mine and all men his, except for the head of the family, though this shield is nowhere seen with the triple tressure because Da . . . because our father was unable to swear honestly that he is the head of the Paspaklests after election in keeping with right and custom.¡±


    She replaced her fan and continued speaking. ¡°Going along with the thin pretense that we''re helping our colleagues instead of showing off, let me say this. If you remember only one aspect of Drastlif, let it be that a family there is more than a bundle of relations. Affection has nothing to do with it either, though it exists of course. Each family is a government in miniature. The selection of the head is a formal matter, fines are levied upon the whole body and the payment raised according to the head''s policy, punishments are delegated to him for execution, not all of them but many, and when a customer tries to claim you made a mistake, your remonstrances must be aimed above.¡± Already the GE travelers had learned more of Drastlif than any but a few back home grasped, and they had not yet landed.


    They had at least gained sight of the country to port, a view which spurred the current conversation. The Oskid passed the western protrusion which split the Arch Sea from the southern ocean and slid through the straits between the mainland and the nearest island of the chain which stretched far west and a tad south.


    Drastlif as they saw it then appeared a country of cliffs with none of the sands and palms its artists liked to depict. ¡°A heart of palms? Sure. That is nothing more than two palm trees placed together, their fronds touching and the bottom of their trunks close, but between they curve apart so that the space between them is heart-like.¡± The slight grimace on Onkallant''s face as he endured the spray and the wind that carried it gave him a yet sportier aspect, as if he were judging the angle of his next throw or considering where to display his latest trophy. A good thing, because if he kept on with nothing but explanations of heraldry terms, passersby might suspect him to be an academic and avoid him for fear of being drawn into an abstruse argument. As it was, many found his company desirable.


    ¡°Is there a romantic component to that?¡± asked a non-Stadeskosken passenger enjoying the bearably wild weather. ¡°For instance, is that symbol adopted to celebrate a wedding or such?¡±


    Onkallant shook his head. ¡°The only thing that changes then is the wife replaces her father''s shield with her husband''s. There''s an obstacle to romance. Why, even Mr. Stansolt there will have difficulty convincing a woman away when she asks where are his arms and he can do nothing but hold out his limbs!¡± The joke harvested more laughs than it would have if delivered by a person with less presence or if heard on land rather than among people stuck on a ship for days.


    Stansolt responded, ¡°That must be a relief to my wife when she hears it.¡± The comeback received a similarly enhanced response.


    Only the thorough observer, or one so far from that as to not be paying attention to Onkallant, noticed signs of displeasure from Onerid. ¡°Tsk,¡± she said, and gnawed a bit on a gloved thumb.


    ¡°Don''t you think Miss Onerid is a clear case of ''slow judgment, good judgment,'' Ressi?¡± Takki was one such observer.


    Dirant was another, though unfortunately of the second type. ¡°Is that a saying, or? The significance escapes me.¡±


    ¡°Oh, is this the part where the detective instructs her assistant? I''ve been waiting for this. Come down here.¡± Takki squatted, her back perfectly straight, and waited for her underling to join her, though his posture was not so firm. ¡°Don''t you see she considered Mr. Stansolt an eligible bachelor before now? Miss Onerid was too late, and definitely not for the first time. It''s hard on her.¡±


    ¡°Ah.¡± Dirant accepted the plausibility of the theory despite certain unflattering implications as far as his own person and said so.


    ¡°Oh, I don''t know that you have to worry about that.¡± Takki straightened. ¡°But right now, will you excuse me? I have to go on a mission of consolation.¡±


    ¡°How admirable of you. I must content myself then with solitude.¡± Rather than that however, Dirant joined the crowd listening to Onkallant and off-shift sailors clarify that the palms preferred the southern coast and would be visible soon enough.

 6. Vigit Pikilif Is The Jewel Of Ports

    Its Horrible Luster Shines Balefully Over The Dreadful Waters


    So it proved. The Oskid rounded the horn and, six days after departing Ilstehost, approached Vigit Pikilif, the famed port which served as the capital of Gavaref before that country merged with the northern kingdom of Maims to form Drastlif. No longer a center of government, it remained the primary import center for the goods of Geft, that eastern continent from which in classical times the ancestors of today''s Drastlifars sailed in search of a new home.


    ¡°That is how we reconcile their arrival with known history, yet it is the tradition here that this landmass floated over and joined Egillen all while the Drastlinez tribe merely stood on it,¡± Onerid elaborated.


    Certain properties of Drastlif did suit better another continent entirely, namely how hot it was. Not unbearably so in the middle of winter, but travelers who walked aboard in their coats walked off wearing vests and light dresses. Anyone who had not yet changed, ascetics determined to withstand the southern sun for example, had a little more time to reconsider on account of the need to navigate among swarms of small boats in the harbor manned by Drastlifars who were chanting and waving signs.


    ¡°And is this some welcoming ceremony, or?¡± a passenger asked.


    ¡°It seems not, or else they direct their signs and yells the wrong direction entirely. I cannot think the Drastlifars so backward as that,¡± responded another.


    Even Onkallant had nothing to say beyond, ¡°Huh.¡±


    Clarity increased as the Oskid approached, for the press of people at the harbor which from afar resembled a noisy rug resolved into a mob angered by one ship in particular. Nothing about the presumably invidious vessel struck those aboard the Oskid as significant unless it was the Survyais on its deck, and even there, Drastlif and Yean Defiafi maintained cordial relations so far as anyone knew. More than that, to the northerners, not even a supreme scandal such as an attempt to extricate a serial killer from the country before his punishment because of his relation to a high government official could justify all the carrying on. Drastlifars yelled, stomped, cried, fell into one another''s arms, and took breaks on stools in front of mobile food stalls belonging to enterprising vendors. Perhaps Fennizen had adopted catered protests while Dirant lived in Todelk, but he had seen none, and the spectacle startled him.


    The one significant feature which the besieged ship possessed, in the minds of more people than would admit it, consisted of one particular Survyai, most likely a lady from one of those ostentatiously wealthy Yean Defiafi families which novels and serials featured in such numbers as to exceed the entire population of the continent, so handy they were for stories.


    ¡°Is that not a woman?¡± Onkallant asked as he pulled together Stansolt, Banfol, and Dirant. The Stadeskosken passengers had assembled behind Onerid, in theory the highest-ranking among them as far as anyone could determine given they belonged to different departments. Did Hospitality Manager have precedence over Itinerant Ritualist? How did a worker actually in security compare to a genuine worker? ¡°Is she not?¡±


    The universally acknowledged if illogical obligations of a husband shielded Stansolt Gaomat should he choose not to respond. He took the option. Banfol Mektariken nodded. Dirant Rikelta, for his part, had as his first impulse to say something of this sort. ¡°Ah, and I had believed her until now to be sea foam that congealed in a miraculous arrangement fit to give rise to a new mythology.¡± He dismissed that however as an empty, unjustifiable response to someone who had never wronged him. Instead he strove to meet Onkallant''s attitude as well as he was able.


    ¡°Certainly it must be admitted by me that never before have I beheld so long and thick a braid before. I say ''beheld'' for there is no other word for it. ''Seen'' is wholly insufficient. The styles I witnessed in Yean Defiafi prepared me not at all. Beyond that, while the lady possesses other qualities I am sure, awe will not release me to consider them.¡± Indeed, the mass of light brown hair behind the woman on that far deck undoubtedly demanded to be introduced separately at parties and had its own luggage. More than half her weight must have been bundled in it, and a good portion of the rest had been used to create her hips.


    ¡°You''re right about that, Mr. Dirant.¡± Admiration caused Onkallant to reveal an unguarded side to himself, which surprised everyone. They thought him fully unguarded as it was. ¡°This is a secret, but you gentlemen deserve to know after the journey we''ve taken together. I joined Stadeskosken not for the pay or the reputation of the company, though those are fine things. I wished only to return to Drastlif, and the purpose behind it was romance. My philosophy has one principle, and it is that men ought to seek wives abroad. Nothing will move me from it. The man who marries the neighbor''s daughter is a fool. A friend of the family is best kept as a friend. Here is the truth of it. A similarity of background causes too much presumption. Without putting forth effort to understand each other, where will we be? The common advice is all wrong. Ah, this is meant for Mr. Banfol. I know Mr. Dirant agrees with me already!¡± He tilted his head toward Takki as she leaned over the side in case anyone missed the implication.


    The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.


    If said implication was unwelcome to anyone, it was not Dirant. He warmed to Onkallant by several degrees, though his loyalty to friends and brothers who sought domestic alliances prevented him from going over to his side entirely. ¡°The matter is too complex for me to endorse a philosophy of one point only, but nothing can be truer than that the common advice of looking close to home is a disservice to many gentlemen. How often I have heard repeated General Ipparenolt''s words about the womanhood of the various tribes divorced from the necessary context that he was giving a speech to his army before the Battle of Stlintotenlilk and not a dispassionate societal analysis.¡±


    ¡°That''s it precisely. I must remember the specifics, since before now I''ve been dismissed as an oaf ignorant of history when I spoke against the general.¡± Onkallant and Dirant at last clasped hands with equal enthusiasm.


    ¡°Are you ready to go ashore?¡± Onerid asked in a flat voice. ¡°Or did you forget we all said we would, being so busy with your babble?¡±


    ¡°Find a foreign husband, little sister.¡±


    ¡°Rgh!¡±


    ¡°Ah, and if you fellows wish to appear local, not that I advise it, try not to look happy when you step on land. It''s bad luck if the sea begins to suspect you don''t like it.¡±


    Most of the travelers took Onkallant''s advice as far as not bothering with that custom, being modern ladies and gentlemen who eschewed personifying the elements. The rest simply did not believe that was the local practice in the first place, though indeed it was.


    While many of the Oskid''s passengers had Vigit Pikilif for their ultimate destination, it served only as a stop for the Stadeskosken employees. The branch office in Dubwasef awaited them a few days more to the east, but as it made no difference whether or not they spent a day on shore while the crew resupplied and did the necessary scrubbing and such, none refused the chance.


    Once down the gangplank, consensus ended. ¡°The hubbub has my interest,¡± Onkallant said, ¡°but do you need a translator, or?¡±


    ¡°We planned to go out together, Takki and I,¡± his sister assured him.


    ¡°I want to find a watch,¡± Takki elaborated. ¡°We never need one in Pavvu Omme Os where clocks are placed regularly at intervals specified by law, but it''s different when I''m on the road.¡±


    Onkallant shrugged. ¡°Possibly more difficult than you think. This isn''t Zeboni or Dubwasef. I''m sorry to say it, but all of Drastlif''s innovation? That stuff''s for foreigners. Well, I leave everything to you, Hospitality Manager.¡± He walked away from the group, waving his arm high where they could see it above the milling Drastlifars.


    The others, perceiving the shopping trip not to be a private endeavor and the tumult to be better avoided, decided to go along with their second translator till something changed their minds. Actual shopping, for instance. Onkallant''s parting words had encouraged them in that regard.


    When they advanced beyond the port facilities, the change that startled the travelers was not the difference between that city and their homes, which they expected, but rather the transformation of Onerid Paspaklest. Walking briskly along, she raised her fan and never again put it down. When open she held it before her face while she talked, and when shut it was because something of interest needed pointing out or some gesture had to be made. It seemed its own source of wind as its owner opened it, snapped it shut, and whirled it around with the precision of a Battler-wielded halberd that knocked missiles out of the sky.


    ¡°There may be something to what my brother said,¡± Onerid admitted. She flicked her fan at a nearby building. ¡°Do you see the scalloping on the windowsill there? Such is a component of the Bibailin style, which for some several centuries has been regarded as out-of-date. Of course for that reason it is sometimes employed in a new development, yet here it appears almost the standard.¡±


    The nuances of architecture, aside from the scalloping Onerid pointed out, escaped Dirant, Takki, Stansolt, and Banfol. They saw only a series of round buildings of pale wood topped by darker roofs which arched as if the architect was thinking about putting up a dome but stopped halfway up and decided to finish it off with a nice little slope. Their guide assured them larger houses possessed a central courtyard and noted a few specimens that described more of an oval or were straight for some length on their sides. There were rectangular edifices also, ones not intended as residences. Temples, workshops, smithies, and other practical buildings belonged to that type. Nothing resembling a square won favor with the Drastlifars no matter how it begged to be built.


    As for the styles the inhabitants preferred for themselves, the men wore jackets, white shirts, and often bright cummerbunds between the two. Those entitled to do so had their coats of arms sewed into their jackets. Some few wore a stole which bore a shield near either end of it. Those were servants of the arm-bearing families, Onerid explained.


    The pants Drastlifan men preferred tended toward the baggy near the hip, their shoes toward the small. The arrangement gave the impression of tapering like Onkallant''s coat of arms, especially below their various hairstyles and beards that prized volume over either length or orderliness. Above all that, to the delight of the Grenlofers as must be inevitably felt when another country pays one''s own the honor of imitation, they wore hats with wide, wide brims. There was the nuance that Adabans normally wore those hats on trips between towns and not within them, but the more acute desire for shade down south explained the difference. In that aspect of dress three of the travelers fit in, though not so thoroughly as Onerid with her fan.


    For the men about carried a fan or even two somewhere on their person, hooked over a belt or tucked partly behind a cummerbund, while the women had theirs open and before their faces with the exception only of matrons calling for their children to behave. Some, the wealthier-looking ones, manipulated those fans exactly in the manner Onerid did.


    ¡°I wanted to try out the basics, but maybe it''s better to rely on indulgence for foreigners a little longer?¡± Takki had her halberd and no fan, as usual.


    ¡°That continues to be my advice, yes,¡± Onerid replied. ¡°Our tutors trained us in this for weeks before they let us even touch a fan in public.¡±

 7. The Universality Of Sport

    Thus Far A Single Society Free Of This Wasteful Practice Has Not Been Discovered


    Aside from their handheld protection, the ladies of Drastlif shielded their faces further with veils suspended from their hats. Those defended more against insects than gazes from undesirable men on account of their translucence. Perhaps the sheer material diffused the sun''s rays, though the effect must necessarily be difficult to discern in the case of Drastlifars.


    ¡°Can you believe that Adabans used to, wait, have you heard about this?¡± Takki stumbled over her banter when she remembered her audience.


    Somehow Onerid understood what she meant. ¡°That is a charming tale, but the modern academic consensus holds that even in Egille''s time people knew of the Geft continent, which of course makes it impossible for our ancestors to have believed for centuries the Drastlinez to be tanned Adabans until an envoy permitted to be present at a royal birth realized the truth of the matter.¡±


    ¡°That''s too bad,¡± Takki lamented, causing Onerid to giggle.


    Speaking of headwear, the foreigners perceived a social significance to the crowns of those hats which had assortments of bows, flowers, lace, fuzzy balls, and more piled on them, since the humbler sort of person made do with something plucked off dinner to go with their shorter gloves and longer sleeves. All levels of society preferred their dresses belted high up, just under the bust, and long enough to touch the ground if the wearer succumbed to improper posture. The women competed with their men in the radius of their hair, though they compromised its fullest potential to wrest more length from it.


    Beyond fashion, though the existence of such a realm had not been proved, what separated the south from the north was all that Drastlimez. Certainly one expected every country to have its own language or three (how lamentable a condition it was for Beriskirofen and Egilof to be stuck with Adaban), but somehow Drastlif''s most-used tongue stood out more than usual. The reason was not mysterious to people caught up with their scholarly periodicals. Historians and linguists, despite their growing enmity over the scope of the Pan-Egillen language family, agreed Drastlimez did not belong to it. Elsewhere the traveler might imagine he understood the occasional phrase, but all there was unintelligible. Except to Onerid, of course.


    ¡°Or to me. Did I not mention it?¡± Stansolt Gaomat had in fact not previously mentioned his Intermediate proficiency in the local language, not to his colleagues and perhaps not to his employer either, though certainly to his true employer (supposed).


    Their search for a watchmaker wound up as Onkallant predicted. The customer searching for plates covered in decoration so ornate that dinner would become a race to get that unsightly food out of the way or for figurines of insects calculated to convince the real thing a house was all booked up for the season met with instant and overwhelming success, but anything in the broad category of items with moving parts lacked a presence in Vigit''s shops.


    It was outside one establishment dealing with charms presumed to attract fortune, fame, and fertility that some lady of upper society, to judge by the quality of her apparel and the evident occupation of her companion, a woman armed with a mace and buckler, approached. A Drastlifar here and there had patted the northern gentlemen on the shoulder as they passed in the street, a common practice, but never had a woman come straight at the group as this one did. The foreigners aside from Onerid tried to move aside, suspecting the lady to be the sort willing to charge directly at strangers if only to make a point about who must yield to whom. Such was not the case. She drew up in front of Onerid specifically and waited.


    Behind her fan, Onerid said sideways, ¡°Does anyone know how to introduce? Mr. Stansolt perhaps? Please hurry if so.¡±


    The indicated man stepped forward and spoke something even Dirant was able to understand, since it consisted almost entirely of names. ¡°Eizesl Delaosant Paspaklest''s daughter, Seifis Onerid Paspaklest, is here.¡± The word for ¡°daughter¡± came up quickly in any course of study, and Adabans who read serials set in Drastlif had some idea of the local honorifics. ¡°Eizesl¡± meant ¡°good, respectable,¡± and had broad use, since few aside from the oligarchs themselves would be insulted by it. ¡°Seifis¡± referred to girls and ¡°Barais¡± to married women, whatever the dictionary meaning of the words. That was the end of common knowledge aside from hearing there were dozens of such terms from a friend who wished to sound cosmopolitan. Everybody had at least one of those or else was himself the friend. Whichever of those Stansolt was, the most that could be hoped was the avoidance of an unfortunate incident.


    ¡°Gurun!¡± The plonk of the racket, the bounce of the ball, the squeals of one half of each pair while the other half ran around to do all the playing. Doubles tennis was the same everywhere, except for that ¡°gurun¡± part.


    ¡°The points here are Black, Star, Moon, Sun, World, and Home, or in Drastlimez, Ketan, Gurun, Gurasin, Railis, Stievif, and Kwuvein,¡± Onerid explained. The lesson ended and her precision of speech and manner ceased along with it. She slumped in her low, angled chair, threw her arms back, and said, ¡°I can''t believe Barais Gren-Sofops remembered me, and an invitation as well! But, Takki, you don''t mind being my bodyguard for the day?¡±


    Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    The emphasis she put on ¡°believe¡± by itself showed a transformation from the Onerid of just an hour previous, whose sentences always went downhill without any fun little bumps. The author who proposed every person belonged at birth to a certain country by nature and had only to find it would have been happy to have had Onerid as an example to hold up against all the ridicule he suffered.


    All around the Gren-Sofops family''s private courts lounged ladies in similar attitudes to hers, chattering with similar intonations. When Aigwif Gren-Sofops suggested Onerid come relax in private with a few other guests, the foreigners had not yet comprehended how far from relaxed the public deportment of Drastlifan ladies was. All that fan-work and never directly addressing anyone outside one''s circle seemed so natural when they did it.


    Beyond that, the travelers questioned the event''s privacy. The designer of the fence around the two courts carried out his instructions when it came to minimizing ball loss, granted. Curtains hung from rods which ran between supports about three Adabans high, or three Drastlifars for that matter given the similar heights of those two tribes, and they deflected balls inward with unimpeachable ease. They did nothing however to hinder passersby from looking in, being translucent. Furthermore, if Aigwif Gren-Sofops, Aigwif being her name and not an honorific as the Grenlofers had to be informed, allowed Dirant, Stansolt, and Banfol to enter the venue, at what would she balk, they wondered. Nothing, apparently. Many gentlemen watched the proceedings, from relatives of the competitors to visiting Dvanjchtlivs.


    While the three northern gentlemen held a hushed conference concerning the possibility that a translation issue had occurred so that what was meant by ¡°private¡± was more in the vicinity of ¡°amateur,¡± Takki answered Onerid. ¡°I would defend you against an attacker without demanding an extra fee, so I think it''s fine. And we''re headed for the quarterfinals already!¡±


    Considered as a tournament, the event barely qualified. There was no prize, and everyone would forget who won sometime between dinner and breakfast. Sport had an incidental place there. Lady-and-companion doubles competitions had become a regular device for passing time and socializing as a result of the trend among wealthy women to hire bodyguards for public appearances rather than waiting for a convenient male relative.


    The first such resulted in a great deal of entertainment. Since the bodyguards typically belonged to elite combat classes and necessarily possessed high Muscle and Coordination without any tennis-relevant class abilities such as what Sportsmen and Acrobats might gain, they matched up well against others of their profession. That, combined with the flailing of their charges, created a charming spectacle. Then there was the occasional non-bodyguard who displayed some athletic prowess and became immediately a star of the super-amateur tennis world for that reason.


    Onerid threatened to become one such, if only because of her height and corresponding arm length. She may have been the tallest woman there, though all that lounging made measurement difficult. Takki warned the gentlemen with them not to praise their companion on that basis, as she likely would not take it in the intended spirit.


    ¡°Thank you for that admonition, and I must remember it,¡± Dirant responded. ¡°A constant source of small pleasure is when another person finds it necessary to look up simply to address me.¡±


    ¡°It is the same for me,¡± agreed both Stansolt and Banfol, men scarcely inferior in stature.


    ¡°And so it is entirely plausible I might have, for example, attempted to console her upon her defeat in this tournament by reminding her how short the victor persists in being.¡±


    Takki nodded and patted his head with her racket. ¡°Good, but we''re going to win.¡± Her height offered nothing to recommend her to the tennis gambler, but unlike the practice to which both Adabans and Drastlifars adhered of keeping their numbers to themselves whenever possible, the Jalpi Peffu flashed their status without hesitation. That made it less surprising to her shipmates when she managed to out-tennis more athletic-appearing bodyguards.


    <blockquote>


    Battler


    Priestess of Akam


    LV 9 680/1000


    HP 329


    Muscle 76 (+4)


    Coordination 52 (+4)


    Verve 51 (+9)


    Sticktoitiveness 71 (+7)


    Discernment 58 (+4)


    Gumption 50 (+6)


    Tit-for-Tat 50 (+2)


    Receptivity 21


    Panache 40 (+1)


    Class Abilities


    Battle Perception


    Battle Formula


    Battle Projection


    Certain Opening


    Pierce Through Feints


    Weapon Familiarization


    Monster Battle


    General Abilities


    Usse (Fluent)


    Adaban (Fluent)


    Obaluon (Intermediate)


    Yumin (Basic)


    Halberd (Peerless)


    Sling (Peerless)


    Spear (Advanced)


    Spear, Cavalry (Advanced)


    Sword, Straight (Advanced)


    Sword, Curved (Advanced)


    Bow, Composite (Advanced)


    Sword, Cavalry (Advanced)


    Dagger (Advanced)


    Mace (Advanced)


    Boxing (Advanced)


    Needle (Advanced)


    Three-Section-Staff (Advanced)


    Ax (Advanced)


    Throwing Dagger (Advanced)


    Bottle (Advanced)


    Pot (Basic)


    Table (Basic)


    Rug (Basic)


    Wheel, Steering (Basic)


    Wheel, Wagon (Basic)


    Wheel, Pottery (Basic)


    Bill (Basic)


    Glaive (Basic)


    Staff (Basic)


    Laundry Pole (Basic)


    Crossbow (Basic)


    Horse Riding (Intermediate)


    Adroit Display


    History Fundamentals


    Door Smasher


    Clock Smasher


    </blockquote>


    The wide and well-peopled world assuredly contained fighters more impressive in their stats, somewhere, but heroes like that could find better employment than to escort some shield-bearing lady of Drastlif. Or perhaps not. Phrased that way, it sounded like a comfortable career for the champion unafraid of assassins, street mobs, or polite society but unenthusiastic about testing herself in endless battle or frequent moves.

 8. Intrigue At Court

    The Doings Around A Sport Frequently Are Greater In Both Intensity And Significance


    Regardless, the tournament did not immediately humiliate Takki, which was polite of it for all that people so proud as she deserved a reversal from time to time. Nothing happened immediately; the participants and judges took their time at every step, and the audience did not object. To describe the atmosphere of the occasion required the word ¡°languid¡± be brought forth from the back of the cabinet where it was kept for most of the year.


    When the next match started, the way points dribbled in reminded Dirant of something else which required attention. ¡°On the other side of the house, marked with an appropriate curtain, you will find it,¡± Aigwif Gren-Sofops was pleased to inform him at Onerid''s request. That lady and her bodyguard, Tojwis Kei, had already been eliminated, and if someone suspected the pair had thrown the set after an obligatory showing in order to allow Aigwif some relaxation after such intense physical activity, perhaps it was because that person overheard when she gave her companion those exact orders.


    Onerid added for Dirant''s benefit that appropriate curtains for the chamber he wanted typically featured a kingfisher, that being a small bird with a narrow beak, in the hope that its speed and accuracy would be replicated by the occupant. Thanking her, he set off with that identical hope.


    That was his first acquaintance with the inside of a Drastlifan domicile. At last he learned the true purpose of the inner courtyard. It replaced hallways in larger buildings which otherwise suffer from the lack, though any Drastlifan architect he interviewed would have disputed the presumption of the hallway as the default solution to intramural organization.


    Dirant paused to look around. His presence hindered no domestic operations, since the entire household was out making the tournament as comfortable as possible for the glamorous attendees and the other ones. Rooms ringed the open center, separated from it by tall curtains of a far more opaque inclination than those used for tennis. He found the sole bird-decorated room and entered.


    At least the curtain was thick. He had confronted in his travels the idea Adabans as a tribe clung to an exaggerated standard of privacy too often to dismiss it, but the other countries he visited till then at least all agreed in putting four walls around the facilities. The next time he discussed in which land aside from Kitslof he would most like to live, Drastlif would be much lower on the list than he anticipated before this assignment.


    Anxiety caused by the relatively exposed position destroyed his kingfisher dreams, but in the end he managed to put aside cultural revulsion. Then he heard voices.


    ¡°Choshocho payment chosho as agreed jaj shoi,¡± someone said in Dvanj, approximately. It was hard to make out, not that he wanted to. The last part might have been jadnerishdoi. Some verb, anyway.


    ¡°The risk choshojaj doji right there chosho,¡± a less composed man said, one who perhaps was not a native speaker. In conjecturing that, Dirant realized he had, without conscious thought, concluded the first man was an authentic Dvanjchtliv.


    ¡°The difference jadoji bladoji a glance only fechoishoi.¡±


    Whatever was going on there beyond the unreasonably thin wall he resented the Gren-Sofopses for installing lay as far away from anything he wanted to hear as the earnings potential of Administrators did from that of Warm Bodies. He shut his ears as best as he was able, finished his obligation, waited for his neighbors to stop talking, and then waited a bit longer. Certainly a desire to embarrass them by intruding on their conversation and his intentions were as far from each other as the two ranges of credit which banks habitually extended to Administrators and to Warm Bodies. Satisfied as to his precautions, he moved the curtain aside.


    A lovely statue of a sailor holding an umbrella over his captain and three mates, each of the four peering in a cardinal direction, provided both shade and aesthetic pleasure to the center. For some reason though, the two men in the courtyard preferred to huddle beneath a half-raised curtain to Dirant''s right. The blond was holding it up to give him a look at a satchel sitting on the ground between him and a nervous Drastlifar without having the sun stare over his shoulder. The wax seal that kept the item shut particularly drew his attention.


    Whatever the conclusion an employee of another firm might have reached, all of Dirant''s Stadeskosken training, his familial heritage no less, told him a package was being intercepted by an unintended recipient. Outrage shouldered its way to the fore, but another emotion ran up and shoved Outrage off the stage into the orchestra, causing a big scene. Terror was its name, and something about the Dvanjchtliv''s close-shaved blond head, cold eyes with their ever-darting pupils, and squat which resembled a that of a beast before a lethal pounce warned Dirant to consider every available measure from leaving to withdrawing.


    This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.


    Before he could begin to excuse himself from the unexpected encounter, the unsavory man''s hand was gripping a dagger. That circumstance made a graceful withdrawal difficult, but Dirant resolved to try. He decided on a ploy of pretending to be ignorant of Dvanj. ¡°Do . . . toilet want you? Free is it.¡± That was some good terrible Drastlimez, he praised himself. A less significant tourist had never existed, unless somebody with 8 Panache went on vacation, which sounded out of character.


    ¡°That comes as a relief for both of us,¡± said, in Adaban, a voice behind him unquestionably belonging either to Stansolt Gaomat or one of those professional voice imitators who put on stage shows. It was in fact Stansolt who arrayed himself beside Dirant, an unsheathed sword in his right hand and the estimable class of Battler in his status. ¡°Ah, pardon me,¡± he said in Dvanj. ¡°The latrine is available, he says. Isn''t that good news, Kenjawm Noirlidript Jaumgdegnu?¡±


    To Dirant''s recollection, Stansolt''s activities had so far been either neutral or a benefit to his own interests. That encouraged him. On the other hand, the career Dirant believed that man of mystery to pursue behind the scenes involved frequent switches of loyalties and allegiances according to serials, and if those were poor evidence, he had none better. He did have a Fascination Ritual saved up which a single word could activate, his sole consolation if Stansolt decided against rescuing him.


    The situation improved promptly. A less worldly fellow than Dirant might be persuaded that Dvanjchtlivs pointed daggers at their friends as a sign of respect, but a far-traveled man knew to care only about the fact none still pointed at him. He started to back away less than an inch at a time. His Gumption, even replaced by a fraction of his Receptivity, allowed nothing bolder than that.


    ¡°Still a Pinpointer, Kenjawm?¡± the Sivoslofer Battler asked.


    ¡°Still outnumbered, Stansolt?¡± The Dvanjchtlivan Pinpointer (presumed) snapped the fingers of his non-dagger hand, though likely it could be converted into a dagger-holding one as need arose. A number of thugs of both the Dvanjchtliv and Drastlifar varieties, and was that a Saueha? Regardless, a bunch of thugs emerged from several curtains behind the two Grenlofers.


    ¡°But Kenjawm, this is hardly something to be expected.¡± Stansolt placed his left hand on Dirant''s back. ¡°A Pinpointer ought to have a better sense of direction!¡±


    The last word came out in a grunt as he shoved the imperiled witness forward and dashed alongside him in Kenjawm''s direction. Pinpointers excelled in the accuracy of their throws rather than speed so far as Dirant had gathered from his oldest brother''s demonstrations, and consequently the Dvanj was bowled over before he could do anything with his dagger than drop it from a bleeding hand.


    Barely had the lively sword scratched one target before it flicked under the handle of another, and a more important one. Stansolt flipped up the satchel over toward Dirant, who resigned himself to clutching it while he relied for the rest upon a man far less likely to murder him than anyone else there aside from the first Drastlifar, who had progressed from anxious to panicking.


    The henchmen perhaps ought to have chased immediately, but the situation''s sensitivity caused them to go to their leader for instructions first. Normally the owner was informed before an indoors tussle of that sort, if not complicit in it, but criminals so thoughtful as to spare the satchel''s intended recipient the bother of receiving it also forbore to bother the mistress on her tennis day. Their courteous hesitation cost them when Stansolt used the delay to pull Dirant through a curtain, find a spot on the interior wall free of hangings, and start cutting himself a new exit.


    The Muscle required for that act must have been 50 at least. Dirant pondered that while he watched the curtain for rustling indicative of an urgent need to unveil his escape-enabling Fascination Ritual. His evident worry won an assurance from his well-meaning if thrill-causing companion.


    ¡°There is no cause to fear reprisal for a little architectural rearrangement,¡± Stansolt said, evidently misinterpreting the cause of his sudden associate''s discomfort. ¡°I will say nothing for obvious reasons, our pursuers till the same field, and then there is you. I know again in the surest way, which is that this has happened already, that you . . .¡± He paused to shove outward the wall portion cleaved from the rest by his vigorous effort. ¡°Are no tattler. Is it not so?¡±


    He grinned at Dirant, who saw in the expression sufficient confirmation that when he saw once Stansolt in a peculiar position, the other saw him as well. How liberating it was to learn at last that if Stansolt were the sort to murder people who knew his secret, Dirant would already be dead. Knowing that would make social functions much smoother, provided they lived long enough to attend any together. ¡°Discretion and Stadeskosken are like cattle and kine,¡± Dirant Rikelta professed as he ducked to fit through the hole.


    ¡°Is that our new slogan, or? It strikes me well. And now on we go.¡±


    Some Drastlifars looked at the two foreigners freshly emerged onto the street with suspicion and others not at all, a pair of attitudes which puzzled the native of orderly Kitslof. ¡°Though it is helpful to my reputation, should they not be fetching the authorities, a pillar of the community, or the neighborhood''s stoutest combatant?¡± he asked.


    ¡°And possibly involve themselves in the affairs of the few families? There''s nothing in that worth doing. Though this is another scenario entirely from what they presume. This way, I think.¡± Stansolt took off down the street while Dirant continued as his companion by reason of the Battler''s strong grip.


    The bystanders did nothing more to hinder Kenjawm''s associates than they had Stansolt and Dirant. On the contrary, they took care to move aside food stands, ladders, and incautious children ahead of the pursuit, a peculiar form of consideration unanticipated by the common visitor. The reputation of Drastlif in Greater Enloffenkir included nothing about daylight street chases. Perhaps the Explorers who claimed in so irritating a manner that people who read about a country without traveling there themselves knew less about it than the wholly ignorant had a better argument than Dirant previously believed. He preferred thinking about that compared to how he was about to be murdered.

 9. The Phenomenon Of Non-Interference

    First, We Must Consider The Concept Of Perceived Futility


    ¡°This is a case of the sheep who thinks shears are a way to get at its meat. Why drown the streets in our blood when the option is there to take the package and give us a wound or two sufficient to incapacitate us? It will not be so enjoyable as not being injured, perhaps to the point of lifelong impairment, but the number of homicides will increase not by a single incident.¡±


    Stansolt had a chance to tell Dirant that cheerful tidbit as they marched in a wedding procession that by chance had crossed their path. Even the boldest skulduggery had to yield to public occasions in Drastlif. The thugs joined it as well, and in that joyful procession they could do nothing but watch for when their quarry would try to slip out. Somewhere before the temple, surely; the Grenlofers could not have invitations. Both the pursuers and the pursued were mistaken in thinking that lack to be of any moment whatever.


    The hiatus allowed Dirant to count the hostile force. Kenjawm and eight others pursued the two. ¡°With so many to serve as lookouts, it is surpassingly rude of them not to have prevented me from wandering the house. This entire incident might have been avoided,¡± he complained.


    ¡°The timing was not so bewildering as that. You entered first, and then Kenjawm. It was for that reason that I looked in on the proceedings. Do you normally take quite so long?¡±


    ¡°It is the curtain, you see.¡±


    ¡°Ah, that is a disconcerting aspect.¡±


    ¡°On another point, what this satchel contains is a matter of professional indifference. The sender and proper recipient are something else. I seem to recall seeing this seal, and recently.¡± The thing looked to Dirant like two oddly long dogs chasing each other around the sun. Possibly it was a scene of mythological significance.


    Stansolt looked over. ¡°Ah, but what about it now?¡± He slipped a knife through the opening and broke the seal in a most un-Stadeskoskenly manner. The sight evoked a yip from Dirant which would have embarrassed him to recount. ¡°I feel like the hero who solved the unsolvable puzzle. Here is where we depart.¡±


    A street perpendicular to the procession was obstructed by three carriages and four wagons pointed in unhelpful directions, all surrounded by drivers arguing about who needed to perform what maneuver to clear up the mess. Stansolt and Dirant slid through the press and behind a carriage decorated with something Onkallant would probably call azure a vert gules sejant per lozengy or the like. The intricacies of heraldry were not to be grasped in a single sea voyage.


    The package thieves ran down that road, and when they had passed, Stansolt took off for a different street. A good plan but for the fact that Kenjawm soon inferred his prey had gone elsewhere from the ladders and such ahead of him which the bystanders only got around to removing at his approach. Still, Stansolt did not fail to make use of his lead. He ran along, peering through windows behind which shop proprietors stacked up samples in order to tempt passersby. Eventually the enticement worked on him.


    He yanked Dirant into a tailor''s, for such it happened to be, and there further happened to be an Adaban man shopping inside. ¡°What''s the largest thing you have for my friend here?¡± Stansolt asked the tailor, not that Dirant understood it.


    The conventional understanding that most Drastlifan businesses accepted the currency of Greater Enloffenkir held, unlike ideas about the number of frenzied chases on the typical day in Vigit Pikilif. Stansolt paid for Dirant''s new hat and jacket and, when the customer already there made to leave, rushed through his parting words for his firm companion of the past few minutes. ¡°You have a package, you are a Stadeskosken employee, what more is there?¡± With those meaningful words and a small coin given over, he hurried out to walk beside the departing Adaban, grab him, and hurry him forward.


    Dirant watched the mail-tamperers chase those two, at first dismayed by Stansolt''s callousness until he remembered Kenjawm had stared him full in the face and would certainly ignore the uninvolved Adaban after realizing the deception. He waited for an interval he hoped more fortuitous than the one in the Gren-Sofops home, prayed to the gods possibly in charge of evading pursuit, and left.


    What to do next? Dirant never wondered that. He had in hand a single ezola which made Stansolt a client and a deliverable item. All he had to do was find the recipient. Some people might have called that an impossible task. Those people did not do well in the Stadeskosken hiring process.


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    Someone more conversant in the terminology might have been able to elaborate, but the seal, his one clue, looked somehow unlike Drastlifan heraldry. Perhaps it was the lack of attention to color, or the exaggerated physiques of the dogs which allowed each to take up half the symbol, or the lack of extra bits stuck everywhere. Regardless, it looked pretty Dvanjcthlivy to Dirant. Nobody liked elements arranged in rings around a sun more than they did. Before checking the local stables, Dirant went to the most Dvanjchtliv-dense place he knew.


    ¡°Welcome back, Ressi.¡± If Takki felt her relationship with Dirant insufficiently intimate for her to ask what had happened in there to necessitate a change of clothes, certainly Banfol and Onerid would not dare say anything about it. They looked for a moment as if they might, but perhaps they caught sight of a spiritual guardian over his shoulder holding a note which said, ¡°Eccentricity in the boss''s family is to be expected and, by those who are wise, overlooked.¡±


    ¡°A job can arise at any time,¡± he told them by way of as much explanation as he planned to give while he looked over the clumps of tennis enjoyers. ¡°Ah! Again, I must apologize for leaving you.¡± With a short bow of a playful character, for he did not anticipate he would be missed, Dirant made his way around the edge near the sheer curtains toward a Dvanjchtliv sitting on a folding chair that bore on its back and arms a certain design: Two tawny dogs chasing each other around a blue sun.


    The prospective recipient was intent on the sport, and his slight smile indicated something about it made the spectacle worth the watching. Many activities failed to reach that bar, if his judgment was as severe as his looks. The mane-like single strip of subdued blond hair between shaved sides, a style preserved in Swadvanchdeu and Noiswawau though long abandoned in Redrin and Chtrebliseu, reminded one of the innumerable victories of the Dvanjchtlivs, their unflagging courage, the skill of their horsemanship and handling of weapons.


    That much was obvious from afar. As he approached, Dirant was able to recognize Crown Prince Ozovramblidaj of Noiswawau, the man who would become King Noiswawau XIX unless some Swadvanchdeuan got a few inches luckier than the one who had given him that scar on his jaw. Another had been a few degrees from giving the prince''s mouth a perpendicular decoration where normally the Dvanjchtlivs preferred a mustache. Perhaps the prince wanted everyone to read his past battles on his face; it spared him the need to boast. A director of any kind of theater walking by would halt and offer him on the spot a role in an upcoming production as the king''s right-hand man who would refrain from no ruthless act. It may have been that he held that position in fact, if the rumors the broadsheets did not dare to print along with his picture had truth behind them.


    Someone like that was able to set aside great concerns of state, not to mention personal safety, to concentrate on ladies playing tennis only because he had men about him who saw to other matters. So it was that attendants, similar as to their hair but more conventional with respect to their curly mustaches, stopped Dirant and demanded to know his business.


    ¡°A delivery.¡± He held up the satchel and hoped his Dvanj had not drifted into a Redrin dialect after his time there. He checked the details.


    <blockquote>


    Dvanj (Intermediate): Literate; Parliamentary Dialect; Adaban Accent (Heavy)


    </blockquote>


    That ought to be safe enough. Some held the optimal level of Adaban accent was none at all, but Dirant joined those who wondered what was superior about the Dvanjchtliv tribe that the Adaban ought to subordinate his inclinations to its ideas of optimal pronunciation.


    The confrontation interested Prince Ozovramblidaj. He rose with barely less grace than he likely displayed when dismounting and took the satchel himself. ¡°I am expecting a delivery. Not from any Adaban. Hm.¡± He fingered the halves of the seal. ¡°Who hired you?¡±


    ¡°Sir, it is nothing against you that I am unable to say. The inviolable policy of Stadeskosken demands discretion.¡± Dirant chose to behave politely instead of facing-royalty-politely as if unaware of the identity of the man addressing him. The less knowledgeable about the affair he appeared, the more he would like it, he reasoned. Even speaking in Dvanj might have been a mistake.


    ¡°How convenient for you. Does your company policy forbid you from saying how this seal was broken?¡± The prince waved the satchel in front of the delivery boy.


    ¡°Sir, it may be . . .¡± Dirant leaned forward and lowered his voice. ¡°That the package passed through several hands before mine. There is reason to think so. I can guarantee that beween when it was entrusted to me as a deliverable item and when I delivered it just now no one tampered with it, looked inside, or any such, but prior to my custodianship, I can say nothing certain.¡±


    ¡°I should say there is reason.¡± The recipient looked the deliverer over, clearly wondering what information he might expect to extract. There was some plot about, but messengers and menials were best put to use without inducting them into the conspiracy. Further, they were in public by Dvanjchtlivan standards if not by Drastlifan ones. Prince Ozovramblidaj decided, in the end, to let the subject graze for the present. ¡°What other policies does your company have? Am I to pay some fee or gratuity?¡±


    ¡°No, sir. That is the sender''s sole responsibility. Please sign here.¡± Dirant produced the form he had created with paper and a pen acquired along the way at a cost somewhere between one ezola and his life. The ezola would go to the company anyway, making his personal loss greater, but he still estimated the total expense as below the potential cost. Certain supervisors would punish him for neglecting to employ a ruler, but his quick document was no more disorderly than many stuffed in Stadeskosken''s files. Receiving the signature, he bowed and departed, and if behind him the prince indicated to his people he wanted that man followed and investigated, that was a milder consequence for his spontaneous adventure than Dirant expected.

 10. A Case Of Interested Regulation

    And Other Tales Of Horror


    Takki''s confidence submitted to reality in the semifinals. The loss affected Onerid more between the two in that she tsked a little. Takki dismissed her drubbing as soon as it ended since she detected something more meaningful. ¡°Ressi, did you have an adventure? I understand you won''t always be able to include me, but you do have to tell me about it.¡±


    ¡°Is this an occasion for extravagant accounts of unlikely events? It must be a rudeness greater than an unguarded sneeze to distract sports-watchers from their sport.¡± That was Dirant''s secret code for, ¡°Certainly I will relate it to you in private, by our standards rather than the bizarre ones upheld here, though no doubt the Drastlifars have their reasons for what they do.¡± He had not informed Takki of the code or even invented it before that moment, but he hoped she understood. She nodded as if she did, at least.


    Onerid showed no inclination to leave simply because of a loss which, as in the case of Aigwif Gren-Sofops earlier, freed her up for more important activities. She renewed ancient acquaintances and initiated new ones with the various ladies there, and she either enjoyed the process or possessed some skill in acting. The hospitality department was her field, after all. Banfol, Dirant, and Takki would have left, but with their translator-guide engaged and their backup, Stansolt, vanished, a withdrawal with any good purpose could not be effected.


    Then their official translator showed up. ¡°Did I miss everything, or?¡± Onkallant Paspaklest came in, and he might have been invited if the mistress had known him to be there. Instead it was his companion who got him in, a young Drastlifar whose attire, healthy beard, and above-average height did nothing to embarrass his family. That family was represented by a seagull which was half purple and half white hovering over a bunch of fish and steering wheels against white and purple, plus there was a red square in the upper-left corner around a silver ring. He gave Dirant and Banfol the two-handed welcome demonstrated earlier by Onkallant, a meaningful piece of evidence for anyone who had suspected tomfoolery on the jolly Adaban''s part.


    ¡°Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain. And you?¡± Though the possibility existed he knew only that much Adaban, the ease of his delivery implied more facility than that. Language aside, he looked and sounded like the sort of person described as ¡°pleasant¡± in private and ¡°middlingly effectual¡± in even more private.


    ¡°Dirant Rikelta.¡±


    ¡°Banfol Mektariken.¡±


    ¡°They say any greeting is a good one, Eizesl Rikelta, Eizesl Mektariken, but isn''t this better than that?¡± Loigwin handled that well enough, but his glances at Takki revealed some doubt. A foreign lady was hardly going to offer a card on a fan she did not have ready or know how to use, and nobody there passed for her male relative.


    Dirant decided to hurry up with his homeland''s etiquette rather than wait for someone else to figure out the local option. In the current company, that might never happen. ¡°This opportunity is a blessing for me. Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain. Millim Takki Atsa, from Pavvu Omme Os.¡± The former clasped and unclasped his hands, the latter curtsied, and as long as everyone accepted that the proceeding fell within the boundaries of courtesy, good enough.


    Onkallant certainly did. ¡°We must take you out of this country someday, Loit. Ah, what a surprise for us all to meet up like this! Takki, are they out of their minds, or are you competing? By the way, Mr. Dirant here bears the class of Ritualist.¡±


    The three hoped Onkallant and Loigwin had an established friendship, because one of them appeared to be teasing the other mercilessly while giving him an odd nickname. At the beginning of all that Loigwin smiled unsteadily, in the middle he looked scandalized to hear Takki called such, and at the conclusion he blushed so ferociously it could be detected despite his Drastlifarness, though by implication rather than vision.


    ¡°Onkan, you disguised beast! I can''t be saved without shoving someone else down the pit now. What can I say or do? The future is broad enough that I might make it up to you somewhere, Sajaitin.¡± He again shook Dirant''s hand.


    Upon realizing ¡°Sajaitin¡± must be an honorific reserved for Ritualists, the recipient of it began to suspect Drastlif to be the finest country in all the world. He resolved to show his appreciation by informing Loigwin that ¡°Takki¡± was the correct form of address in Pavvu Omme Os by cleverly inserting it into the conversation. When he failed to figure out something clever, he just told him.


    Loigwin''s smile returned, less shaky than before. ¡°It''s been said there''s a difference between new and new to you, and here we are. I''m glad to have been told that, Sajaitin.¡± He clasped his hands in Takki''s direction again. ¡°Barais Takki.¡±


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.


    She curtsied again for good measure and at last answered Onkallant. ¡°I was competing as Miss Onerid''s bodyguard, but they were too much for us.¡±


    She flicked the pole of her halberd in place of a fan toward the pair responsible for the defeat. Onkallant looked over and covered Dirant''s eyes at the same time. ¡°It''s impermissible for you to examine the inflictors of your friend''s loss, but keep your cheer. I will do it for you.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Mr. Onkallant,¡± Dirant said.


    ¡°Onerid is here? You never said a word about her, you transformed heap of granite.¡± Loigwin addressed the others. ¡°Have you been told about the childhood of these Paspaklests? How here they lived in Drastlif, and what had to be done to rescue them from their own faults, every day during a bad week, every other in better times?¡±


    ¡°Not in such terms, and yet the description is not impossible to believe,¡± Dirant answered.


    Loigwin''s attempt to level his and Onkallant''s dignity meant nothing to his childhood friend, who reacted merely by releasing Dirant in order to point at his sister, then engaged in courtside conversation farther along. ¡°That is the creature. I must ask you not show how disappointed you are when I bring her over. My countrymen, watch closely for your education. Since I''m her brother, this isn''t considered rude here. Onerid!¡±


    Onkallant tromped over with a heavier step than he used at other times, commanded his sister to detach herself from the conversation as she was boring the others anyway, and retrieved her before the untroubled eyes of cheerful Drastlifars. ¡°And no one will think less of me for that. I would already have a doctor looking me over if we were in Ilstehost. Now if the family head reprimands me when my behavior comes to him through a network of disapproving gossips, that is a different matter. I will never be blamed for this though, as my reason is apparent and good. I must reintroduce you. Eizesl Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain, Delaosant Paspaklest''s daughter Onerid Paspaklest is here.¡±


    She kept her fan up and said nothing, which was exactly what Loigwin wanted to see, judging by the gurgle the others later agreed they had heard before he managed words. He joined together his hands and spoke. ¡°Is there some text for me to consult, penned by an authority of repute unquestionable? One poet warns us that to behave toward the acquaintances of our spring-young days as we do a stranger is as much as to regard our father and mother as traders from whom we wrung a good deal, but another attests there is more danger in a captain''s discussing domestic issues with his crew than in seven perilous storms. Shall I say Seifis Paspaklest and consign to the fire my upbringing save what is profitable, or with one word rescue it and cast away the opinion of society?¡±


    ¡°It was while looking into that protest that I came across Loit here,¡± Onkallant said. Whether that was an act of cruelty, mercy, or indifference could be argued long into a chilly evening around a fireplace tended by conscientious servants, the rug underneath newly bought. At first Dirant suspected indifference, but perceiving that Onerid might better be described as frozen than composed after she heard all that, he leaned toward mercy. The way Onkallant pushed Loigwin down into a seat and plopped himself down, thereby dispersing the air of formality any introduction must exude, reinforced that opinion. ¡°Strange stuff, it turns out. Tell them about it while I watch this next set. I must give it my entire attention.¡±


    Banfol, Takki, Dirant, and even Onerid settled into seats alongside him. Loigwin did as well, since the occasion appeared as informal to him as to any other Drastlifar. ¡°Have you of the Akard-Velgsins heard aught and what their business is? In the venerable industry, that is so much as to say shipbuilding, they have been engaged long and respectably, and good families used to go to them, even those who on the Permissive Council are permitted and are esteemed above others for that.¡±


    ¡°The oligarchs, we call them,¡± Onerid elaborated. She waited for Loigwin to continue, and when he did not, apologized. ¡°I''m sorry, Mr. Loigwin. I thought the clarification necessary. Please continue. We are listening.¡±


    His demeanor brightened at hearing that more than the audience thought reasonable. Perhaps, unused to standard forms of address in Greater Enloffenkir, he had mistaken the use of his first name as a revival of the childhood familiarity which seemed so important to him. Then again, he spoke Adaban well enough. A powerful dread assaulted Dirant, and forthwith he began to compose a prayer begging that he be excused from his divine mission if the foreboding he felt about Delaosant Paspaklest back in Isarpezoltk indicated the terrible fate of not having enough grandchildren.


    ¡°Right, the oligarchs. I, er, well.¡± Loigwin encountered some difficulty unclear to the Drastlifan-heraldry-deficient.


    ¡°Just saying something to fill the silence,¡± Onkallant broke in, ¡°but when you see an annulet argent on a canton gules, that''s a silver ring in red square in the corner to honest men, you''re in the company of an oligarch''s relative. The big man himself has a symmetreel over the red. Bizarre monster, you know. Two heads that spit lightning and thunder. I''ll try to remember some stories I heard about them while Loigwin continues.¡±


    Indecisiveness between whether to brag or exhibit admirable humility had cost the young Nein-Cadops-Bain his opportunity to do either, his reputation another sad casualty of hesitation. He took his one chance to salvage the situation: sounding highly informed. ¡°All the know-its say they''ve been suffering, though. Being the best in the country only matters if your country''s the best, and better praised today are the designs of those Ililesh schooners and the methods of the Redrins. To be outdone by Dvanjchtlivs on the water! We console ourselves by remembering the workers are Yumins in the main, and what does that say?¡±


    ¡°A loss of confidence,¡± Banfol suggested in case the question was not rhetorical.


    It was not. ¡°That''s where my thoughts have been.¡± Loigwin sounded relieved not to be alone. ¡°Acceptance and despair are strong but not almighty, it''s been said, and that eizesl, the head of the Akard-Velgsins, was hinting for months that a new wind was set to blow from an unforeseen quarter.¡±

 11. The Romance Of The Port Part 2

    This Hope Of Meeting People Of Other Countries Must Be Done Away With, Since In Ports Only The Disreputable Are Seen


    ¡°That reminds me,¡± Onkallant interrupted. ¡°How did the watch search go?¡±


    ¡°Not well,¡± Takki admitted.


    ¡°I thought so. They still use sundials here. Resume, Loit.¡±


    ¡°Sundials are a comfort, precise clocks an overseer never satisfied. Enough of that. Eizesl Narark Akard-Velgsin, an adventurous heart in his broad chest . . . that''s figurative as not yet have I beheld him. He announced the perfection of the Akard-Velgsin process to flat faces. Salt corrosion, barnacles, mice, all are reduced or scared away from the lumber of a ship treated with the new method! Everyone stared. They doubted his promises. Nobody wanted an untested model when the regular kind worked for cargo freighted regularly. Then make this the regular! That was his cry, heeded not at all in this country. If your cousins ignore you, step outside, is the old advice, and how well it applied to his case. A young lady of one of those Yean families of ludicrous wealth ordered a ship. Desabas I believe to be their name. Seifis Desabas Aesyo, that was it. Today is the maiden voyage, and so the protest is today.¡±


    Dirant tilted in his seat toward a couple of his fellow sojourners. ¡°Mr. Banfol. Takki. What procedure is best to decide who asks what part of this account causes a protest?¡±


    ¡°I have a die,¡± Banfol suggested, but the thing had already been done.


    ¡°Because the ship is unsafe. Because it risks Drastlif''s reputation. Because relations with Yean Defiafi are important. Because he didn''t tell them the process, the reason most of moment.¡± Loigwin delivered that analysis in such a plain manner as if there were nothing exceptional about it that he was suspected of honesty alone and not of cynicism. ¡°The sun blazes while the moon glows, we all agree. I suppose some of the protest must be spontaneous, but when every rival shipbuilder declares a day off and gives all those hardworking employees a free lunch near the dock, and when several councilors tied up with them do the same, who won''t feel pity for the clam soon to be bashed open?¡± The remarkable thing to the Grenlofers was that Loigwin choked up at the end, authentically so far as they could tell. Takki did as well, which surprised Dirant much less.


    ¡°And yet the ship is constructed, is it not?¡± Banfol asked. ¡°Surely they will not go so far as to, ah, take measures in the middle of the harbor? The wreck would impede traffic.¡±


    ¡°Nothing like that will happen. Well, there is precedent.¡± The young Nein-Cadops-Bain considered. ¡°The chance is minute.¡±


    ¡°Let your wisdom reach the moon''s seas and palaces, Eizesl.¡± Another guest insinuated himself into the group. ¡°Mikaruvadran Yailt-Fops, by the way. And you?¡±


    Another round of introductions occurred, though this time the newcomer had not known Onerid in his childhood and therefore said nothing on that point. He was around forty, after all, and long established in the commercial world.


    ¡°The ship won''t burn or wreck, and what is the help in that, if the owner must dispose of it with ax and tooth if necessary? The fuss causes an investigation, the investigation causes the permits of ownership and sailing to be suspended, the suspension is allowed to become permanent through inaction without any official confirmation, but we have senses of our own, not to be fooled.¡± Mikaruvadran went on to emphasize how shameful was the behavior of those implicated in the incident, and what a reflection on Drastlif, and did the Nein-Cadops-Bains care for their country? He imagined they did. The others imagined he had a financial interest in the Akard-Velgsin shipbuilding enterprise. The incident aroused sympathy for Loigwin; not only must he be prepared to be the subject of wheedling at any time because of his family, but the universal recognition of said family made his earlier clumsiness regarding it more understandable.


    Upon reflection, they thought perhaps they ought to have flattered him more themselves when they had the opportunity. Mikaruvadran soon engaged Loigwin in an inescapable conversation with the result that all Dirant, Takki, and Banfol could do was tell Onkallant how the tournament up till then had gone in as much detail as they recalled, which was less than the Sportsman liked. And also tell him what happened to Stansolt. ¡°Something came up,¡± Dirant explained. That was as much as Onkallant cared to know about that topic at least.


    Defeated in both sports and shopping, Takki made her return to the Oskid with nothing more gained than a figurine which depicted a gardener bending over flowers, each with every petal more detailed than sometimes was seen in life. ¡°Semka might like this,¡± she consoled herself.


    This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.


    Evening suggested to Vigit Pikilif''s residents the time had come for the streets to be given a break from their hard work. Nothing close to the all-day activity of GE cities such as Dittsen or even Fennizen went on there, and it was through quiet paths that the travelers returned to their ship after a signature Drastlifan repast involving hunks of things on skewers and a variety of cheeses. The rudeness of the presentation concealed the subtle combinations of flavors as intricate as a set of goslikenar performances.


    ¡°I''m sorry that comparison doesn''t mean much to me, since I''ve only been to one so far,¡± Takki said.


    ¡°The problem is susceptible to correction,¡± Dirant assured her.


    Only around the harbor was the city''s tranquility disturbed, for it seemed unconscionable to force the ships of distant Choinfa, Tando OHW, or Asau Eoluvieu to wait on the morning to complete their paperwork after they had endured more than a month of travel to bring the treasures of Geft to Egillen. Even that mostly meant a few lights and some dock officials chatting about this poet or that chronicle while on watch. Protests were a strictly daytime activity.


    Near the Oskid alone was real work being done. Men, Survyai-looking men with slicked-back hair and tidy mustaches, loaded baggage onto the ship at the direction of a man Dirant recalled seeing on the deck of the controversial ship, though more because an extravagantly braided woman stood near him on both occasions.


    The circumstance enlivened Onkallant, who had not been looking forward to a quiet evening aboard a ship too small for the better type of athletic competition. ¡°A transfer in our favor! I must introduce us to our fellow passenger right away. Is something wrong, Mr. Dirant? Has your dinner returned, bent on vengeance?¡±


    Their other companions were startled as well by Dirant''s expression of dismay. Takki tried to feel his forehead, but she required either a ladder or cooperation he saw no need to give. ¡°It is nothing so unfortunate as that. Only a young man on the verge of a mistake. Presuming an understanding of Desurvyai on your part, Mr. Onkallant, what is your opinion on the desirability of introducing yourself?¡±


    ¡°Ah! Then you are willing to . . .¡± Amazed gratitude prevented Onkallant from finishing the sentence, and he followed his senior (in terms of tenure with Stadeskosken alone) after making sure everything was straight and shiny.


    Courtesy in Yean Defiafi had as its highest precept that everyone was already universally known, and therefore introductions were only a matter of form. The second-highest held that since the highest was obvious nonsense, important people required introducing. The constant collisions between the two, though unfortunate, had not persuaded society to alter its conventions. It demanded sacrifices instead.


    ¡°You must be the charming Miss Desabas Aesyo!¡± Dirant began from a distance chosen to satisfy two criteria essential to politeness in Yean Defiafi. He was close enough not to have to shout, but far enough that the distance communicated his inability to wait as few as five seconds to make the acquaintance of such a beautiful lady. ¡°I''m pleased to introduce the respectable Mr. Banfol Mektariken, the charming Miss Millim Takki Atsa, the charming Miss Onerid Paspaklest, and of course you know the respectable Mr. Onkallant Paspaklest. Please, Miss Desabas, tell a pitiful man we will not be sharing a ship with you as the situation makes me believe. With such company as this? I will become the first man to perish from nothing but delight.¡±


    There was no room in there for the respectable Mr. Dirant Rikelta. If necessary, which in the case of a sea journey it would be, someone would later mention his name offhandedly. The initiator of introductions ought to be the lowest in social position among the group, and unless Banfol was a secret heir sent out to see the world before he assumed the throne, Haderslant Rikelta''s Ritualist son did not qualify. Dirant would always remember his grand sacrifice when he doubted his own integrity. Further, he impressed himself with how Yean Defiafish that speech sounded in his opinion.


    It sufficed for Desabas Aesyo. ¡°And so you all are, obviously! Poor man, we will be traveling together. If anything I can do will make the journey less hazardous, I demand you ask. We have experience in this area. You''ve already heard of the daring Captain Yajagan Shwinz and his wife and my translator here in this wonderful country, the delightful Mrs. Yajagan Shwinz.¡± Of course nobody had heard of either of them, for which reason Aesyo had included their occupations. The polite thing was to remember without ever noticing.


    Both people named by her removed their hats and inclined their heads so far they looked at their own feet for a moment before restoring themselves to their previous attitude. Mrs. Yajagan looked to be of an age with her employer, somewhere in her twenties. She avoided competition with the majestic braid that decorated her mistress, opting to put her blonde hair in a crown braid instead. Mr. Yajagan had a few years on his wife and a goatee on the majority of Defiafis. In his nearly blond hair and reserved mustache he was conventional enough, though other countrymen of his build usually chose clothes with an eye toward achieving a sleek look. This captain was not afraid to be big. Possibly he believed his physique should reflect his position in his ship''s chain of command.


    ¡°If I may say,¡± Aesyo said against no opposition whatsoever, ¡°the pleasurable anticipation of conversing a little with anyone, even as poorly fitted with languages as I am, somewhat softens the harshness of the need for the trip. That''s to say nothing of how Captain Yajagan must feel, being yanked away from his command before he even took it!¡±


    Dirant bowed and, in line with Yean Defiafi etiquette, acted as if he knew what she meant. He did, but he would have behaved the same either way. ¡°If we can distract such luminaries for even an hour from the impositions of heartless legality, all the philosophical texts in the world will never persuade us about the futility of existence. Is that not so, Mr. Onkallant?¡±


    ¡°It cannot be otherwise,¡± Onkallant affirmed, whose Desurvyai turned out to be just fine. Probably his was a little better than that of Dirant, who had needed a couple minutes to prepare his two little speeches and was all out of eloquence. ¡°But I''ll never be convinced by arguments anyway when meetings like this can happen.¡±

 12. Maritime Songs

    And Their History From The Earliest Times As Desperate Prayers For Safety


    The passengers all boarded, the Stadeskosken workers and Takki right away, Aesyo with her entourage later. That term encompassed Mr. and Mrs. Yajagan only, as the rest of her people stayed aboard the Miziyan Mazoiyan, or First Best, to wait for the resolution of an unanticipated difficulty. Desabas Aesyo told her shipmates about it with an Explorer''s customary Verve during dinner in the captain''s cabin. Her class was no mystery; the subjects of Yean Defiafi let no idea of hiding their status cross their minds, from the most deprived to the noble Desabases.


    <blockquote>


    Explorer


    Priestess of Oax


    LV 14 230/1000


    HP 597


    Muscle 33 (+1)


    Coordination 56 (+3)


    Verve 71 (+7)


    Sticktoitiveness 60 (+6)


    Discernment 40


    Gumption 72 (+5)


    Tit-for-Tat 43 (+2)


    Receptivity 48


    Panache 58 (+1)


    </blockquote>


    Those were some big numbers, though her braid still surpassed them.


    ¡°First I was told they have to review my permits. They were very sorry about the whole thing naturally, but it had to be done to settle down the public. You''d have to be the most selfish thing on Egillen to complain, so I waited. And I waited for the rereview, and the rerereview, and how much do they expect me to bear? I won''t say I suspect a plot to stop my Miziyan Mazoiyan from setting out, but why isn''t everything possible being done to expedite this whole runaround so the world''s first ship fortified by the Akard-Velgsin process that could never have been imagined just five years ago, the pinnacle of naval engineering, can shock the entire world? It''s inconceivable! No thank you, I couldn''t eat another bite.¡± Since the captain spoke the tongue of the sea but no Desurvyai, he could do nothing but smile paternally.


    Dirant and Onkallant had more to say, or rather Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain and Mikaruvadran Yailt-Fops said some things conveyed through the medium of those two Adabans. The conjectures they related added to Aesyo''s umbrage and at the same time confirmed the wisdom of her decision to go to Dubwasef herself to straighten things out. ¡°Fortune has it out for me, but she can''t make up her mind for long. I''m glad I ignored Captain Yajagan''s excuses and brought him with me. Drastlifars listen to ship captains and not whatever you want to call me. Oh, he was talking all this nonsense about how he needed to keep the men disciplined and familiarize himself with the novel little lovely I was handing over to his care, but I put a stop to that. He''s the type to fall in love and never climb back up, which worked out well for my Aircrem. Would you gentlemen be willing to distract him during our two days to Dubwasef so he doesn''t worry himself into an early widowhood for my best friend?¡±


    The request had sincere affection behind it, and remembering that later helped everyone on deck bear the particular singing style Captain Yajagan and Onkallant shared which prioritized volume and endurance. Even Takki dropped out, though she rejoined for a verse every few songs.


    ¡°They aren''t bad singers, either,¡± she observed. ¡°It''s just hard on my throat. Foo! Ha!¡±


    Both Dirant and Aesyo spectated Takki''s halberd exercises, the one standing like a stern Adaban statesman and the other sitting on a padded stool adorned with floral designs somewhat removed from what tedious nature persisted in producing. Dirant was required to translate, as well as he could, conversations about oddities of nature and history. Aesyo had a store of those from the expeditions her father had been permitting her to take for years already.


    Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.


    Not that they restricted themselves to such matters. ¡°Now that I listen instead of being forced to listen, Mr. Onkallant is a promising baritone, isn''t he? It''s a shame developing that is unlikely to help him with . . . your very fine carrying company.¡± A last-minute adjustment to spare the feelings of her translator revealed Aesyo''s opinion of his and Onkallant''s social prestige.


    As harsh as it was, someone sufficiently incentivized to do so might be able to retrieve the situation. In normal circumstances Dirant would not be that someone, but in addition to the ¡°Delaosant''s grandchildren¡± theory, the position of Itinerant Ritualist carried with it certain responsibilities such as assisting Onkallant in developing a financially meaningful new ritual when Desabas Aesyo rejected him, provided he changed his class to Ritualist, which presumably he could not. Failing that, Dirant felt an obligation to aid Stadeskosken''s employees so long as they were not themselves at fault.


    When next the two singers approached in their circuit over the deck like comets modern astronomers competed to identify and name as soon as they became visible, his plan was prepared. ¡°Mr. Onkallant,¡± he called out in Desurvyai. Most of what he said next belonged to that language only by adoption, for Egillen''s residents saw no need to invent substitutes for the technical heraldry terms which the Drastlinez had imported. ¡°Repetition is the basis of improvement. How is this? Per pale vert and azure, an orle of twelve ipapobar, two kine gules within six corn slipped or and as many palms argent.¡±


    ¡°Ah, closer than close!¡± Onkallant galloped over and displayed his fan. ¡°See here. The division here is not straight and is what is called engrailed, so ''per pale engrailed.'' Also the attitude of the cows must be included or else they will both face the same direction with their heads up. The Station of Shields would have a fit if they heard of it. So it is ''two kine respectant gules.'' But what a memory these Ritualists have! I had to grow up around this talk for years to learn it.¡±


    Aesyo sat straight up in a jerk that lifted her off her stool for a moment and stared at the shield printed on his fan with her head turned a bit to disguise the target of her interest. Then she thought better of that and looked directly, since there was nothing strange about being startled nor anything improper about admiration for others. ¡°Don''t tell me that''s an approved shield, or the novelty of a foreign family issued a legitimate Drastlifan coat of arms might drive me to jump into the ocean to learn if humans can breathe underwater suddenly.¡±


    ¡°I can restrain you if it comes to that,¡± Onkallant said while stretching his arms and legs in anticipation of the necessity. ¡°For it is all true. My father''s service as an ambassador earned him the distinction. My translator career is not so distinguished as his, but I had to return and check how they got along without us!¡±


    Captain Yajagan laughed. ¡°Miserably, sir, miserably! I''ll have to ask you to set them right for our sake.¡±


    Aesyo, meanwhile, had become deathly serious. ¡°Mr. Onkallant, can we say your current position then is something in the nature of a hobby? Your father is an ambassador, you said?¡±


    ¡°Perhaps a diversion from the expected route more than a hobby. Of course I take the work seriously, I affirm before the boss''s son.¡± He winked at Dirant. Next he clapped Dirant on the arm in case anyone missed the wink.


    Seeing Aesyo''s speculative look, Dirant considered himself to have done as much as he wanted to ensure the continuation of Delaosant Paspaklest''s line, which was to make one remark. With that over, he hoped, contrary to his former position, that the warning his Divine Guidance (Hunch) gave him dealt with genealogical matters already resolved. It seemed possible. Time was dulling the awfulness he felt back then, as it did everything else. The cloudless sky above and Drastlif''s southern coast with its palm trees and curving houses that seemed almost to be nuts grown from the ground and hollowed out to accommodate renters both helped with that. The only threatening thing out there was the heat; even Takki''s halberd swung at emptiness for the lack of enemies to fight.


    In that atmosphere of relaxed contemplation, Dirant ventured to raise a topic of cultural interest which touched upon personal matters. He thought he could get away with it because Onerid had gone below to escape her brother''s troubadour practice. ¡°Speaking of prestige and so, you are what is called an armiger, are you not? The reason is that you are permitted to bear arms.¡±


    ¡°It is so,¡± Onkallant confirmed. ¡°I never understood the term. We have a shield alone, and a picture of one at that. I suppose we are to hang the real thing over the side of the ship we command. And so first I must buy a ship!¡±


    ¡°Yet you remain a foreigner. Moreover, your shield has little history. Suppose the idea is put forward of an alliance with an older family, perhaps one with that red square. This is all theory you must understand, until that is it becomes a serial under our publishing wing.¡±


    ¡°A theory about Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain, you mean?¡± Onkallant winked again to show he got it before becoming serious. ¡°How that will end, I have no idea. Without too much injury to Loit, I hope. Ah, but there is nothing to that particular concern. An armiger is an armiger.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Mr. Onkallant.¡±


    ¡°Nothing to it, Mr. Dirant.¡± Onkallant saluted and resumed his circuit while Dirant translated the exchange for Takki, who had become friendly enough with Onerid that perhaps an informed clarification of her social status interested her.


    It did, but it left her disgruntled as well. ¡°I''m missing all the important parts, Ressi. There was the chase back there, and I don''t blame you for not coming to get me, and now this Desurvyai talk. Thank you for translating by the way. I really do appreciate it. Where are the secrets that need a Battler to lay them bare?¡±


    ¡°Dubwasef is said to be a different sort of place,¡± Dirant told her by way of consolation.

 13. On The Characteristics Of The Modern City

    They Are In Every Respect Superior To The Characteristics Of Modern City Residents


    It was. To begin, the city had an artificial nature. There had always been a settlement of some size there, of course. The usefulness of a harbor near the mouth of the Chawbnoipt River that ran through Swadvanchdeu and Drastlif on its way to the ocean ensured that. Then again, that river did run through Swadvanchdeu, which had lost control of the coast but recently in historical terms and could invade again at any time, provided Noiswawau promised credibly not to conquer it during the southward campaign. In other words, not soon.


    The story went that it was for that very reason, added to its relatively central location, that the statesmen responsible for united Drastlif chose it to be the capital. When the Permissive Council and the Restricted Council sat, they ought to feel the breath of the Dvanjchtliv on them and not simply breezes stirred by servants with their gentle fans. Such was the conviction of the founders, and the oligarchs who followed them so far had refrained from removing the seat of government power to a safer city of greater economic significance such as Vigit Pikilif , Torani Ves, or Geimif.


    The construction boom required by that policy turned Dubwasef into a more modern and, to the thinking of foreigners, more Drastlifan city. Though built on the same general ideas as in Vigit, buildings rose two or three stories, or even more in a few exceptional cases, and the non-round type which signaled religious, commercial, or governmental activity was common. The subtle signs of old styles disappeared.


    ¡°If you look for scalloping on that windowsill,¡± Onerid said while her fan flipped upward to indicate a feature high above, ¡°failure is assured, but pay attention to those bends, or slanted stripes. Some are painted in a different color, and many are a dissimilar material inserted to add interest via juxtaposition. Careful examination of the roofs would reveal many are made from two to four types of wood. You will see the same internally. A round table of imported oak with a belt of marble where dishes are placed, for example.¡± She sounded less like a lecturer burdened with bored students and more like the owner of a house who, driven to relocate by circumstances, guides prospective buyers about the premises and hopes in secret they will not find it necessary to alter the decor too much after the deal is concluded.


    ¡°Are you feeling more at home?¡± Takki asked upon recognition of Onerid''s evident good spirits.


    ¡°This is the Drastlif I remember,¡± she acknowledged.


    The Stadeskosken cohort plus Takki had disembarked from the Oskid for the final time, unless the ship happened to be available to ferry Dirant back to Ilstehost after he judged the local branch''s Ritualists to be thoroughly instructed. Stansolt Gaomat was with them of course, and if he said nothing about his doings in Vigit, only Dirant and Takki had reason to suspect them to be anything unusual. Desabas Aesyo and her people had gone a different way in order to seek out a forward base from which to launch an assault on the bureaucracy.


    City planners had made Dubwasef''s streets wide and straight to accommodate modern conveyances. Loaded carts and carriages ornamented to a degree proportional with the repute of their occupants took full advantage. So did pedestrians, who included some of the Survyaian and Yumin minority of the country little seen in Vigit Pikilif. Those citizens bore not a single shield among them unless it was on a servant''s stole.


    Onkallant laughed when his companions mentioned it. ¡°The postern gate is open! They are more honest is all. Most shields you see are unofficial, but we''re allowed to overlook it so long as the field is plain azure. Because the sea is for everyone.¡±


    ¡°I see it now. The blue ones are a little shabbier. Not morally at all! Only the quality of the material is what I mean.¡± The others agreed with Banfol after a few minutes of inspection. That careful consideration revealed some minor differences in fashion there compared to Vigit. What stood out to the Adabans was that many men cultivated longer sideburns. It made them think of home.


    The influence of the long, fruitful relations between Drastlif and the GE went beyond a little extra hair. Brick was used in the occasional building, for example. Perhaps that was the only example. Still, those edifices stood out. The Stadeskosken people paused to examine one such. The arched roof was of wood yet, which gave the place an uncanny look, as if a Distorter''s unpredictable powers had cursed a random house to be forever partially Adabanish. A plaque near the entrance indicated its function.


    ¡°''Dependable Banking,''¡± Onerid read. ¡°That is not so strange then. Temples are entrusted with many financial functions we count on banks to perform, each one backed by one or more prominent families so that losses can usually be recovered to a degree. Separate institutions with unconvincing names like this one here are set up for the convenience of outsiders, who have no patron family or know which god is which. Ah! I feel a chill.¡±


    Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    Onerid pulled her arms around herself. It was not because of a sudden remembrance of some embarrassing incident from her past. The actual, non-emotional temperature had dropped. What was more, a fog spread along the street and over the bank, reducing the building to a shadow and the people to blobs.


    Blobs that shouted and screamed. Some had read about it or heard stories from agitated relatives. A few had been present themselves. All recognized the crime cloud, an icy fog conjured by a Sleet Master or Hail Master as a veil to cover unsightly felonies. The brawniest Brawny Knight and the most accurate Pinpointer could punish visible perpetrators only, and the cold made it harder still to act. The partners of Tiger Knights especially suffered. Meanwhile, the robbers had naturally bundled themselves up, put on goggles, and been blessed by the Hail or Sleet Master responsible with a slight resistance against the sort of thing those classes did.


    Standing at the edge of the unnatural cloud as he was, Dirant was still able to see the person he wanted to ask something before, and the changed circumstances only added to the salience of the question. ¡°Miss Onerid, is that bank not used by the Stadeskosken branch here? I recall some such from my instructions, though perhaps I am confused.¡±


    ¡°Ah! It is!¡± Perhaps a kinder fog would have expanded a little more. As it was, people were still able to make out Onerid''s panicked, purposeless movements. ¡°Are we to do something? Can we do something?¡±


    ¡°You are the senior employee,¡± Dirant reminded her, though he regretted doing so when she reacted by panicking harder. After all, she was not being asked to schedule a meeting or even to leap into action herself to rescue a prospective client from the river. An aggressive intervention meant asking her fellow employees to risk their safety, a serious matter if they complied and complete humiliation if they did not. None of them had experience in that, not even if they had conquered a city or two, unless Stansolt did. Speaking of whom. ¡°And so it falls upon you to instruct Mr. Stansolt to take what actions he judges appropriate, for all that we decline to put ''security'' in his job description on the advice of our lawyers.¡±


    ¡°Yes, all you say is undoubtedly correct, Mr. Dirant. Mr. Stansolt, is there some action you believe feasible which will minimize company losses? You may act on your initiative without consulting me in the eventuality promptness is required.¡±


    Stansolt already had his sword out of its scabbard, but he appreciated the official support. ¡°Miss Onerid, my advice is for you to order the present personnel aside from me to move out of the fog and spread out so they can provide details for later pursuit. Do not engage the robbers.¡± His voice rose during the speech since he ran to the scene during it and wanted to be heard. A similar course was pursued by his fellow Battler, Millim Takki Atsa, when Dirant quietly suggested she do whatever she wanted while Onerid was giving Stansolt his instructions. Takki had refrained from interfering until then out of deference to her Stadeskosken shipmates, though there was no chance she would not have interfered eventually.


    Onkallant and Banfol were already repositioning themselves in accordance with Stansolt''s recommendation before Onerid ordered them to do so, though they appreciated that she did regardless. Because of that, they could not later be blamed by upper management for either putting themselves in danger or failing to put themselves in enough danger, depending on the outcome.


    They saw quite a few escapees from their observation positions, none of whom tarried to declare whether they had just robbed a bank or not. There was one indication of their innocence insofar as they were not being pursued by any eager Battlers, the one class that retained its full Discernment regardless of whatever party tricks Sleet and Hail Masters pulled out.


    No, the robbers had not yet made good their escape, and the noises proved it as they changed from anguished yells of civilians soon to be impoverished to pleas from robbers in every language they could remember to stop hitting them, they give up, please, it was society that was to blame.


    For all the Battler advantages such as unimpairable Discernment, accelerated weapon training, and instant perception of enemy weaknesses, each one possessed but two hands at most. Tiger Knights and Symbol Knights could improve recruitment for their own classes by emphasizing the comparison in their advertising, if they wished. That shortcoming permitted a single masked man to make it through a window of the building that had become the worst kind of prison and run unimpeded through the unnatural mist. He met a small difficulty outside of it however when he encountered a clumsy Sportsman, something not previously believed to exist.


    ¡°How can I ever be forgiven, no matter what is said about forgiveness being a boon to both parties? What can I say to apologize?¡± Onkallant reached to help the man he had accidentally stumbled into, though the flailing of the latter caused the situation to become even worse for both. Soon they were tangled up irretrievably unless an Arbiter with a dedicated team happened along. The spectacle reminded Dirant, who had time to consider the scene after he hurried over and realized any effort he might offer in correcting the situation to be contrary to his colleague''s authentic intentions, of a symbolic entity called a Tripper. Symbol Knights were able to bring those into the world but preferred not to; he wondered what Onkallant''s parents thought of him. Probably quite a bit. All the while, Onkallant made excuses in Drastlimez, a language not spoken by the foreign robbers as was discovered later. Their unfamiliarity explained why they went after a bank instead of a juicy temple.


    The crime-concealing cloud soon dispersed. Its creator, whichever of the daring fortune-seekers that happened to be, was in no position to renew it on account of being sat on by a Battler, an Onkallant, or a Banfol, who had been brought in to make up the numbers at Stansolt Gaomat''s request. He also recommended they drag their prisoners together to demoralize them; apart, they might rely on the prospect of rescue by an escaped brother in iniquity.

 14. Adjusting To Life Outside Ones Home

    There Is Generally No Need To Do So, But Here Is Advice Provided For The Few Exceptions


    The scene confused the authorities when they arrived and frightened the bank''s manager upon his timid return. As far as the non-Drastlimez-speaking northerners could determine, they faced being restrained, detained, or maybe slapped around a bit by yelling Drastlifars when Onerid Paspaklest stepped in front of them and snapped her fan open.


    The sight of a presumably genuine coat of arms worked on the Drastlifars like a fine stallion on Dvanjchtlivs or underdefended territory on Adabans. Nothing else mattered to them, for a time, and in that period Onerid reported in calm and concise words everything which had occurred to bring about the current state of affairs. Or so her associates guessed. Dirant heard ¡°money¡± and ¡°crime¡± a few times and extrapolated. ¡°Responsible,¡± that sounded good. She worked ¡°Stadeskosken¡± and ¡°our company¡± in there a few times as well; surely wherever Silone was, he smiled without knowing why. By the end, her Drastlifan audience looked ready to build a new temple in her honor.


    ¡°The banker is easy to understand, but surely bailiffs are accustomed to command, or here do they act otherwise?¡± Banfol whispered.


    Onkallant answered. ¡°Mr. Banfol, you nearly lost your voice apologizing to a few sailors when you got in their way during some scrubbing.¡± He chuckled at the memory. ¡°These men forced a lady to speak openly in public simply because of their inability. How much shame do they feel, do you think?¡±


    ¡°As much as possible, if they do not wish their superiors to force them to feel it yet deeper,¡± Dirant suggested.


    ¡°Likely so, just as you said it,¡± Onkallant said about as thoughtfully as he did anything.


    The matter concluded as it must, with the failed robbers taken into custody. Only after their punishment could it be determined whether their experience had taught them not to rob or not to fail, and by then nobody there would have anything to do with them. Takki asked where the others stood on the issue''s probabilities when the Stadeskosken band departed for the branch office. She skipped as she went and composed a song about solving crimes unlikely to have much play in the music halls.


    The intimidating piles of brick and stone in the city''s Adaban section, so called because it was too small to be a quarter, stood out like bulls among cows, generals among civilians, or buildings with spires among ones that mostly did not have spires. Stadeskosken rented offices there just as did other concerns run by or intended for the citizens of Greater Enloffenkir. The bank the northerners had just left probably ought to have been among them, but its founders had grander ambitions of upsetting the temples to become the capital''s most depended-upon financial institution.


    Once inside, in unhesitating contradiction of the deference earlier shown to Onerid as senior employee, Haderslant Rikelta''s sixth son explained the incident to branch manager Hadolt Herafoken, a man whose dependable appearance suggested that somewhere in the GE was kept a manager bush from which managers were plucked in the proper season and put to immediate use. Dirant did his best to cast Onerid as the heroine of the day in case the dreadful fate looming over Delaosant Paspaklest consisted of comforting his daughter after her career stalled. Though if that was all, the topic of that priest of Holzd''s next prayer would be the excessively dramatic sensations Divine Guidance (Hunch) caused.


    ¡°Normally it is so quiet here,¡± manager Hadolt commented. ¡°Please do not be disturbed or request a transfer. We get along very well in this office as a rule.¡± Doubtless they did under him. Even his balding looked under control, so much so it was impossible to imagine he ever had more hair than that. Probably he would never leave his forties, perhaps wrapping around once he reached the end of them. Inside his office at least, the Stadeskosken employees might forget they were in another country. That made them eager to leave it, since they still possessed the spirit of the tourist, but knowing they had a GE sanctuary to which they might retreat comforted.


    A week later, nothing contrary to the branch manager''s assertion had occurred. Tranquility prevailed in Dirant Rikelta''s life. He did wonder what he was still doing there, but far from causing distress, the evidence that Ritualists learned far faster than management imagined caused his professional pride to swell like the Ontoffemmiror River. The two Ritualists stationed there had learned and performed the ritual to his satisfaction long before, and already the popcorn setup delighted Stadeskosken''s customers. Regardless of whether they liked popcorn, they appreciated a taste of home.


    For as the branch manager had informed the new employees, Stadeskosken''s Drastlif branch existed primarily to serve Grenlofers. Some of those were ambassadors and the embassy staff while many resided in Greater Enloffenkir and desired the occasional exotic import. For example, a certain Atkosol Tellanstal, notable in both wealth and political accomplishments such as formerly serving as a representative in the Entessihotka, often requested delivery of items such as fig trees from Choinfa to further his horticultural experiments. Then there were Drastlifan luxuries, pharmaceuticals from Tando OHW, private messages, conversation starters, and more. A great variety of low volume business.


    Surprising to Dirant, it kept the two office Ritualists busy enough. Both were down at the docks at present to perform various sanitizing rituals necessary to keep intact an entire whale, not a large one admittedly, for the duration of its journey toward a prominent Mabonn''s dinner table where it would become a shocking centerpiece.


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    A sleigh for two leaves the third a lonely walk home, but in commerce, one must always be running. A confusing situation, but nevertheless, when the common mismatch between the supply of Ritualists and their demand occurred, Hadolt Herafoken exhibited decisive leadership. He put Dirant in charge of the popcorn station. Keeping the heat steady, checking the box for faults, accepting corn deliveries, and painting a little otter holding a popped corn on the side of the box all became the Ritualist''s responsibility. He performed it well so long as one preferred one''s otter pictures on the abstract side.


    The task offered conversational opportunities to Dirant, who accordingly acquired Drastlimez (Basic) along the way. He spoke to clients, messengers, Dvanjchtlivs pretending not to be interrogating him, and colleagues stationed there, though little to those who had traveled with him. Onkallant and Onerid''s skills were much desired by the manager it seemed, while Stansolt and Banfol needed to do something about a whale just then and had similar tasks at other times. After, of course, Stansolt had paid fifteen ezolas for delivery within city limits of a light package already in his possession, and if he used a different name, who was to say his dear grandfather had not called him that back on the family farm?


    Non-employee Millim Takki Atsa meanwhile was living the tourist life. In Dubwasef''s shops, she came across the watch denied her in Vigit Pikilif. The shopping experience taught her Drastlimez also, turning the watch into a two-for-one deal. Afterward, she purchased a book of fairy tales and puzzled her way through unfamiliar narrative conventions. ¡°I can''t tell if this captain is supposed to be an obstacle or the protagonist,¡± she complained, not that Dirant knew any more about it.


    Such conversations with a fellow northerner, for all that Pavvu Omme Os was rather more north than Kitslof, may have prevented Dirant from being overcome by the homesickness which afflicted the long-time employees there, who mostly wished to discuss Greater Enloffenkir in more thorough detail than ever its residents did. The ambassadorial staff shared the proclivity. Dirant''s acquaintance with a genuine condottiero, if the most boring member of that profession, gave him instant popularity in the office.


    Outside of it, he struggled in his attempts to practice his Drastlimez on the locals. Not that the Drastlifars were unfriendly. A lack of shared interest was behind it. Common subjects in Kitslof such as intra-confederation disputes or the productivity of various mines had never been of interest to Dirant, but without them, he lacked a starting point. Meanwhile, talk of this family or that meant nothing to him aside from Nein-Cadops-Bain, Gren-Sofops, or Akard-Velgsin, and then only a little. Whenever their intricate doings or a matter of heraldry came up, Dirant recalled university lectures which relied upon terminology and theoretical underpinnings he did not realize he ought already to have known.


    To become fluent in the local happenings was an undertaking which had fewer aids than learning the language itself. Nothing so useful as a grammar made it into the Drastlifan broadsheets, which were sterile beyond what libel laws demanded so far as his Drastlimez proficiency allowed him to interpret. Dirant thought that strange until the day he saw a dispute between two fellows over ¡°that article packed with nothing but falsehoods and uncultured phrasings¡± concerning a relative of the shouting man which became a street-blocking brouhaha. Normally he walked around those without ever learning how they started. They ended with the participants hugging one another and crying more often than he would have anticipated before his visit.


    There was the possibility of joining the religious community if only he could pinpoint which of their gods was Holzd. Even then, his involvement might descend into religious controversy. For instance, the Drastlifars bestowed the title of priest on people chosen by the families which supported the temple, whereas he thought it belonged to him. Then there were tricky issues such as what Holzd wanted from his worshipers, whether that was ceremonies and sacrifices or to do things in a circuitous way. On the whole, Dirant preferred to stay out of it altogether, though he did attend temple services once. Drastlif''s temples each contained idols of many gods, giving him good odds of being in a place pleasing to his; moreover, having one god as an especial patron in no way reduced the veneration due the others.


    In such an alienating atmosphere as that, most of the employees rejoiced when the branch manager announced a mandatory meeting of all personnel. Important news had come in from the main office, and nobody cared what it was. They had hints in Mr. Hadolt''s serious expression and the tendency of the main office not to send a message congratulating employees for properly enjoying a lovely day, but if it was a warning that the whole of Greater Enloffenkir was covered in ash by an ambulatory volcano monster immune to iron weapons that was seen waddling toward Drastlif, at least it came from home.


    The matter was not quite so alarming as that, though alarms were involved, or rather had failed to be involved. ¡°An unknown person or group of people not yet apprehended has broken into the Fennizen main branch,¡± Mr. Hadolt relayed to the twenty-five employees who had gathered in the hall outside his office because they would not fit inside it. The few out on assignment would be informed later in order to fill them with regret over missing the thrill of the debut performance. ¡°No removal of company property occurred, but there is no question but that files were gone through. The purpose of the intruders is not possible to ascertain with greater specificity than commercial espionage. Therefore company security must be regarded, and not that pertaining to our customers alone. Ensure all drawers are locked when not in use, doors must be locked after working hours, and above all, report unusual circumstances.¡±


    The communication went on to describe various circumstances that might not be recognized as unusual. A noisy hinge gone quiet for instance, or footprints leading up to a window. Clearly the same warning went out to every branch, since to leave footprints on Dubwasef''s streets required the weight and force of a giant wrought from iron, and everyone would have recognized that as unusual.


    That was the subject of the meeting, and as the employees had hoped, the potential scenarios both behind and ahead gave them material for stimulating contemplation. Stretching a sinister conspiracy all the way from Fennizen to Dubwasef branch exercised their imaginative powers in a pleasurable way as they returned to their tasks, except for Dirant, whom the manager delayed.


    ¡°For you there is an additional letter.¡± The envelope Mr. Hadolt handed over had on it a seal, though not with any such fancy image as suns and dogs. Plain wax stretched the Stadeskosken budget enough as it was.

 15. On Gossip

    A Study On Its Reliability Is More Than Needed


    Dirant opened it and read. ¡°You have been informed of the break-in. Our best surmise is that the intruders sought our special ritual.¡± The inclusion of that ¡°our¡± needled Dirant because of its presumption, but Silone could write what he wanted so long as the licensing agreement remained intact. That Silone wrote the letter was so obvious to his brother as not to require any consideration. ¡°To prevent license violations, Mr. Donnlink Espahalpt has been dispatched to another state which will not be disclosed here. You are to remain in Drastlif until recalled. Watch for possible imitations by rivals and avoid being kidnapped or bribed. As Itinerant Ritualist, find something productive to do. The contents of these instructions may be shared with Mr. Hadolt Herafoken. Others may at your discretion be informed of as much or as little as seems appropriate.¡± Silone had learned not to bother signing his name. Ink also strained the budget, and the source of the command made no difference to the recipient.


    Dirant handed it back. After reading it, the manager asked, ¡°Well? What is to be done?¡±


    ¡°Already I am surrounded by Battlers.¡± Also by subordinates of the crown prince of Noiswawau, but his discretion decided against telling Mr. Hadolt about that. In the first place, Stansolt Gaomat owned the fact as the person who noticed and told Dirant, and in the second, it demanded no action from anyone. ¡°That takes care of my safety well enough. The ritual is another matter. It is impossible for a spy to have discovered it in those files, and so finding themselves dropped in a rotten bushel, they may attempt to develop an imitation.¡± He hoped he had used that saying of Pavvu Omme Os correctly, or that if he had not, the manager would not notice.


    What to do about any such imitation did not require elaboration. Someone of Mr. Hadolt''s experience doubtless understood. If detected, the natural course for Stadeskosken and the license-holders would be to suggest a mutually beneficial agreement backed by the threat, unspoken of course, of legal action over the break-in. The faster the rival operation could be discovered, if it existed, the better, and Dirant Rikelta''s desire to benefit on top of his new ability inspired him to volunteer. ¡°There is this thought I have, and I wonder if you will add dignity to it by your assent. Unlikely as it is that anyone in Drastlif is involved with the espionage attempt, I might pay attention and perhaps investigate a bit. The embassy is especially of interest from the far-flung interests of the ambassadors and staff.¡±


    ¡°And so messages to the embassy ought to pass through you when discretion allows it?¡±


    ¡°Such is my contention.¡±


    ¡°That sounds like spying to me. I will cooperate happily.¡± The middle-aged manager had not accepted a transfer to the edge of the continent because of his warm feeling toward his home state''s politicians, rumors in the branch suggested. Mr. Hadolt''s present warmth and enthusiasm suggested there to be truth in them, despite the efforts of poets for centuries to devise turns of phrase about the empty falseness of deceiving Rumor. After hearing enough verses of that sort, one began to wonder about poets.


    From then on, Dirant took more notice of rumors going around the Greater Enloffenkir embassy and the higher society which surrounded it. He was aided in that by Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain. That young gentleman appeared in Dubwasef one day, muttering about some family business he may or may not have been sent to conduct and asking after Onkallant, or any other Paspaklests, if they had any. He was willing to provide background on the various people mentioned and interpret the tone of certain sentiments. Despite how taken aback the northern visitors had been at Loigwin''s effusive greetings, those exceeded the typical fulsomeness of Drastlif''s lettered society by only a small amount. Then there were the literary allusions.


    ¡°It is wrong of me to complain I know,¡± Dirant complained. ¡°Nevertheless, I feel like the man in the country where everyone speaks of Getomorikstant and at no time explains to him the meaning of it.¡±


    ¡°What country is that, and who the man?¡± Loigwin asked.


    ¡°Ah, that is from a goslikenar and is nothing real.¡±


    ¡°Is it in any way like the name unspeakable, the hand unholdable, and the wish ungrantable?¡±


    ¡°I do not know.¡±


    That added another reference for Loigwin to clarify, which he happily did. He had nothing better to do, he admitted after the relationship between the men progressed from bare acquaintance to casual collaborator. Positions within the Nein-Cadops-Bain political-commercial empire existed in large yet nevertheless limited numbers, causing family members to strive against one another and the losers to weep for the opportunities lost. He did seem the sort to lose frequently, regardless of the facts of the case. In exchange, Dirant provided assistance he thought useless.


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    ¡°I''m not sure if it''s right to exploit a lovestruck young man, Ressi. It''s like taking the egg from a chicken you never feed.¡±


    ¡°Ah, we have that saying also.¡±


    ¡°I know! I read it in a book and liked it.¡±


    Millim Takki Atsa and Dirant Rikelta had met in a diner popular with foreign patrons tired of double handshakes to discuss the current happenings and, more importantly, have lunch, or tea as it was known in Drastlif for the reason that tea was invariably served with it, foreign enclaves not excepted. Room-temperature or even iced tea usually, though the option was there.


    Dirant had ignored the option and therefore felt refreshed. ¡°The adage has its applications, and I deny this is one of them. My sole obligation is to tell a lady friend of the merits of a certain gentleman, in this case how helpful he is to foreigners, who will pass that on to other ladies and eventually, it is hoped, to the focus of the gentleman''s attention. I understand things are commonly done this way here, whereas in Kitslof or I imagine in Rattap Tuik the expectation is of a single go-between who must arrange for the two people in question to meet. In short, I am feeding the chicken in accordance with the procedure a short-handed farmer instructed me, in the position of a seasonal laborer, to follow.¡±


    Takki had dared the challenge of boiling water but reverted to the more common kind in the end. ¡°You might be right. Now that I think of it, the preponderance of the gossip I hear is a lady telling us what a gentleman told her about another gentleman. There''s probably conniving behind a lot of it, like what you do.¡±


    ¡°At this moment, you mean.¡±


    ¡°Right. I''ll pass on to Onerid how good at gossiping Eizesl Nein-Cadops-Bain is.¡± The relationship of those two ladies had progressed enough for Takki to drop the Miss, Dirant noted. Perhaps Onerid Paspaklest would soon acquire a third name in front of the two she had already.


    ¡°We must consult an expert on a more flattering phrasing before that. Without one handy, we move on. Do you hear as much about Mr. Helsodenk Nifkleskir as I do?¡±


    ¡°How can I know that, Ressi? Everyone says he rescued Desabas Aesyo, Narark Akard-Velgsin, and Drastlif''s entire shipbuilding industry all at once, but what if you know even more? If you don''t, I might have to find a new assistant.¡±


    Dirant was permitted to keep his position. He had certainly heard about Miss Desabas''s heroic struggle to stop the permit-yanking which slowed her departure so, and further about how Narark Akard-Velgsin supported her by requesting a favor from an associate of his. Helsodenk Nifkleskir may have been born in some Rikenlikneher state, but he navigated the shoals of Drastlif''s bureaucracy as deftly as would a man born and raised under the expectation he would take a seat on the Permissive Council once he had reached the age of 30, attained a level of at least 20 in a class other than Warm Body, owned a home and a ship, and was selected to be head of his family after the retirement or death of his predecessor. If not better, since in addition to knowing people, the most important part of politics, he had read the relevant laws himself. Occasionally that mattered.


    What he had also heard explained Helsodenk''s acuity. It was from Onkallant he had heard it. ¡°Mr. Helsodenk, he tells me, and while it is too much to expect honesty in every instance, everything I learn afterward supports it, is an Acrobat and, like many of that class, a lawyer. Formerly he was attached to the embassy here as a legal advisor during Mr. Delaosant''s tenure and executed his duties with acumen deserving of envy from the rest of his profession. To do one job well is praiseworthy. To do two is often the opposite, for commonly the second is criminal in nature. So it was in the case of Mr. Helsodenk.¡±


    ¡°Ressi.¡± Takki''s grim expression showed her distaste for the illegal. ¡°Does Helsodenk Nifkleskir sound like a Rik name to you?¡± Maybe she loved crime after all and hated Greater Enloffenkir.


    ¡°The Helsodenk portion has a tinge of Rikness to it. I would guess the person carrying it to be a Rik if asked, though I would not be surprised to be told how mistaken I am. As to Nifkleskir, not at all. Those may be found in any tribe, I suppose.¡±


    ¡°I still haven''t grasped it, but thank you.¡±


    ¡°Your interest is thanks enough, and therefore your stated thanks must put me in debt to you.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I really think it goes the other way. What was the crime, though? Something distasteful?¡±


    ¡°The avoidance of tariffs and flouting of certain regulations, actions which together constitute smuggling. It is perhaps third in popularity among all sports in Drastlif from what I am told, and of all crimes, only the illegal bearing of arms with an azure field is less blamed. Members of the Permissive Council themselves are said to dabble in it as an exercise to keep their minds and underlings as nimble as their morals. What made Helsodenk''s operations insupportable was an incident in another country. I suppose Battlers know more about sio than Ritualists.¡±


    Takki lifted a cracker from Dirant''s plate and dipped it in her tea. ¡°That''s probably true, Ressi. You feed it to monsters, inject it, or rub it on them and they become as soft as this cracker. Sometimes the bounty issuer supplies it when we''re supposed to capture instead of kill. Then we get yelled at if we actually use any. ''If it''s that expensive, why did you buy it in the first place?'' I want to ask, but that''s part of the job. Oh, but I can''t blame them too much, since we aren''t always dependable just because we have a good class. I once worked with a Symbol Knight who sneaked some. He claimed it gave him a better insight into symbolism, but only after we forced him to throw it up. Until we did, he just kept saying gibberish a Distorter said was ''the profane language of souls fallen to ruin,'' and she was an atheist. Then we all argued whether he had tried to kill himself or fell into that lake out of sio-caused obliviousness.¡±

 16. Behind The Gossip

    The Only Information Worth Hearing Is That Which None Will Tell You


    ¡°Which side won?¡±


    ¡°The second one, because when we visited him in prison, he admitted he was under the impression he could breathe underwater. Human consumption of sio is illegal in Pavvu Omme Os, you see. Helsodenk was smuggling sio from Tando, then?¡±


    ¡°Yes, and that is what ruined him. It is similarly illegal when used for that purpose in Drastlif, though there is illegal and illegal. An incident occurred in Swadvanchdeu wherein some sio-taking noble chosen to take part in a ceremony of such antiquity that no one now understands the significance of it, much like the Chawbnoipt River''s name, had to be replaced because of his inability to fulfill his role. A component ritual specifies that the celebrants must be human, a common restriction, and did not recognize him as such. Upon investigation, several class abilities treated him as a monster. It was a great scandal.¡±


    ¡°Amazing! The bottle lists monsterization in the part about possible side effects, but that there was a confirmed case, I never heard of one. I''m sure that will come up if we ever have a debate about legalizing sio.¡±


    Despite the lesser importance of public debates in his own country, the topic interested Dirant enough for him to ask, ¡°And what were the other side effects?¡±


    ¡°Hallucinations, stomach pains, death, temporary blindness. Normal things for chemicals intended for use on monsters. I really wasn''t sure why the government worried about sio in particular, but now I understand.¡±


    It did not require a professor of political philosophy to explain that every functional government without exception included among its responsibilities the suppression of monsters. On the contrary, only such a professor would state something so obvious, either when establishing the framework for a complete accounting of the nature politics or as the prelude to some controversial proposition. A government which allowed its citizens to become monsters was likely to cease being a government soon, whether because of a popular revolt or all the monsters.


    ¡°And now the question is why some states do not ban it. Perhaps I will inquire later. In any case, nearly all of Tando OHW''s products enter Egillen through Drastlif. Swadvanchdeu set about using its influence to encourage the oligarchs to treat unlicensed sio importation as a serious issue. A Dvanjchtlivan army a river-ride away from the capital must convert into an impressive amount of influence. Helsodenk''s fellow conspirators tattled, his allies escaped through the back when he came to the door, and altogether Drastlif rejected him. He was removed from his position and made to pay such an array of fines as are hard to believe the laws specified previously, and after that, he disappeared from the sight of Drastlifan society, myopic as it is.¡±


    Takki finished her lunch during the explanation, which in her country was a sign that a speech needed more length. It ought to have required a second course. ¡°Oh, I was wondering why people tittered so much when they told stories about him. They''re hoping for a new scandal. Did you hear about how he handed a boy who found a carriage for him an ipapoba? That is a gold coin, isn''t it? I hope I properly comprehended the significance of the story, unlike some of these folktales.¡±


    ¡°Yes, it is the large one worth too much for daily expenses and too little for major commercial transactions. Traditionally it represented a day''s pay for a work crew of seventy. Today it is coined to commemorate occasions such as a victory in some Egilof game or other. It is an entirely unreasonable value for such a service, and if my speech is even right now, it is the greatest feat of control I have ever exercised.¡± Dirant''s voice held up, but his spoon held in his unsteady hand clinked against the cup a few times. Since he had no need for a spoon the joke was obvious, but an ipapoba was a lot of money notwithstanding.


    ¡°If you couldn''t manage that, you''d never be able to lay bare the secrets behind the facade, Ressi. Like what Helsodenk was doing that made him so rich after all those fines. Or how the Akard-Velgsins knew where he was if nobody else did. The timeline doesn''t work for your popcorn thing, though.¡± Takki generally came out well in Dirant''s discretion reviews, and so she knew about the break-in. Solving a mystery that had its origin halfway across the continent presented challenges she accepted with eagerness for all that the person who posed it wanted not so much a solution as much as a basis to apply legal pressure.


    Aside from the sudden return of Helsodenk Nifkleskir and the humiliating failure of the faction set on denying Narark Akard-Velgsin his shipbuilding triumph, nothing going on in Drastlif qualified as a sensation. No news involving slightly improved methods of preparing unusual corn strains was reported, for one. There was speculation about the financial situation of the Larstin-Megrafilts and how long the guarantee of a seat on the Restricted Council to the descendants of the last king of Maims in exchange for his abdication would be honored, but not because anyone thought the issue imminent. People whispered about which unfortunate lady with more dignity to her name than sense in her head would allow herself to be deceived by infamous playboys such as Tagrin Ichipt-Dasrops, Keiminops Bodan-Tin, and Stadraj Ist because nothing of the sort was going on at the moment. Even worse, Eizesl Ist soon announced his engagement. The Noiswawau-Swadvanchdeu war supplied more conversational material than anything local, and in regard to that, everyone simply hoped the two countries would keep fighting each other forever.


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    As disappointing as the gossip scene must have been to someone hoping to hear about infringements of his legal rights, Dirant capitalized on his growing knowledge of pointless Drastlifan trivialities by filling letters to friends and family with them; the more boring the correspondence they wrote him, the worse he gave in return. He also managed to be invited to a Drastlifan dinner, which differed from others by the complete absence of preamble or postscript. Guests came, ate, and left, though the middle section was performed amid a great deal of talking. The novelty carried him through it, though afterward he sympathized more with the branch employees who reminisced about pleasant little meals and long evenings even as he reminded himself that every bird thinks there is but one way to lay out a nest.


    ¡°It is true what that writer said about three tiers of public knowledge: what it is permissible to admit in the open, what we pretend to be secret even as we discuss it, and behind that what is known to the people who matter,¡± Dirant thought. ¡°And yet I must still hold to my opinion he might have worded it more felicitously, though perhaps that is to expect too much from a treatise on political philosophy.¡±


    When a man walks in off the street wearing a coat of a size and heft appropriate for protecting a wagon from hail while wrapped in enough scarves to start up a shop in Pavvu Omme Os in defiance of the ever-warming sun to inquire about Stadeskosken''s rates for extracting ambassadors from the country without letting anyone find out, that sort of reflection is inevitable. For all the many rumors Dirant had collected, many later confirmed true, none of them explained what really went on in the world.


    ¡°A request of that nature requires the highest scrutiny on our part, sir,¡± the receptionist informed him. ¡°The branch manager himself will soon be available for consultation. Is that chair sufficient for you until then, or?¡± She waved a hand approximately in the direction of a chair designated for use by clients by clear markings, those being that it had twice the cushion thickness of anything permitted to employees during work hours.


    One of those employees, his mental acuity not dulled by the stultifying effects of nice chairs, made a remark. ¡°But is Mr. Hadolt not currently engaged with someone from the embassy?¡±


    ¡°Ah!¡± The swaddled man started back for the door, only to stop again. ¡°But that is no better. His henchmen are everywhere.¡± Surely fear and heat combined to make what was under those heavy coverings more water than man. No one could imagine it without sympathy.


    ¡°Here, sir,¡± Dirant called out. ¡°Come behind this counter. That is it exactly. Face toward the wall and stay silent in the manner of someone receiving a lecture he is without means to avoid. Even so. There. Ahem. Is it your custom always to miss the training your worthier colleagues attend, or do you reserve this practice for matters likely to arise if you are transferred away from this branch because your love of this country is such that your cremation here is already paid? You are right not to answer. All you must do is listen. First, observe the box designed for use with this configuration. Whatever ritualism education you received, if any, perhaps neglected the techniques you must master to continue your design vertically, though my private suspicion is that you simply skipped out on it.¡±


    The lecture began but a minute before the embassy messenger previously ensconced with the manager came into the hallway. Mr. Hadolt followed behind as a sign of respect for the embassy and all the custom which came through it. Any Stadeskosken branch manager possessed sufficient composure and professionalism to wait for an agent of legitimate clients to depart the building before he indulged his curiosity, or perhaps amazement, about the unauthorized Ritualist training being conducted a few feet away. He even waited a time after the front door closed in case the messenger came right back inside upon remembering something, as often happened.


    That done, he asked, ¡°Well?¡± and waited. So extraordinary was the circumstance that he anticipated no question about what he meant any more than someone who asks a person holding a fishing rod how the little guys are biting today expects to hear about teething children. For once he was not disappointed.


    ¡°Ah, there is the signal to cease our performance. Thank you for your cooperation, sir. All I can do in return is show you to the branch manager, Mr. Hadolt Herafoken. Mr. Hadolt, this gentleman has questions for you and wishes not to be seen asking them.¡±


    ¡°I am greatly encouraged by the quick thinking of your employees, Mr. Hadolt. I had heard of it of course, but I suspected financial incentives behind the praise.¡± The man undid his array of scarves, hat, cap, high collar, and tinted glasses. Under those, and beneath a layer of sweat considering permanent residence there, were a face rather advanced in age and a head not quite freed of all that troublesome hair which demanded so much care in grooming. His gray eyes looked from side to side, perhaps in search of a ghost, while his worried frown implied that if he saw one, it would not be the first. ¡°Our meeting is a blessing for me. I am Derisht Fogillad.¡±

 17. The Obstacles To Retirement

    The First Is Pecuniary, The Second Societal, And The Third Unworthy Of Mention


    Derisht Fogillad! No more representative name for a Rik could there be to offer Takki as an example, Dirant made sure to remember for later. Also, Derisht Fogillad served Greater Enloffenkir in Drastlif as the senior ambassador. That meant nothing to the lesser employees unless the manager made it relevant to them, though Derisht''s reputation as having the highest Discernment of anyone presently alive in Egillen at 96 would give them a subject of discussion in the quieter hours. They might speculate whether his physical condition would allow him enough levels to break 100. Probably not. A typical person wound up with only half his maximum bonus in his best stat for all that youths always believed they would surpass that. Dirant still did.


    A member of the Arbiter class, not only had Mr. Derisht represented the confederation''s interests with unimpeachable skill, but at times members of the Permissive Council had communicated private requests for him to apply his judgment regarding certain intra-Drastlif matters the parties involved wished to avoid bringing to the courts or the Councils. Likely he would be granted the right to bear arms once he retired, Onerid Paspaklest suggested when she came in and heard about it.


    ¡°Or so I have been informed,¡± she concluded. ¡°That notwithstanding, my report remains to be made. For how long would you say Mr. Hadolt has been occupied with Mr. Derisht?¡±


    ¡°Almost an hour if I am not mistaken. Ah, I am.¡± Dirant shook his watch. He had been keeping it next to the popcorn stove and box in order that it might observe a more reliable instrument and correct its shameful practices, but evidently to no result.


    ¡°More than an hour already,¡± a more informed employee answered.


    ¡°Oh? Perhaps the ambassador has been successfully smuggled out through a window or such, all in a way keeping with the dignity of his office of course as he was squeezed through the frame after being dipped in lard.¡± Against the impression a fellow passenger aboard the Oskid may have gotten and indeed did get, Onerid possessed a sense of humor tending toward the lowbrow, the sort tickled by puppet shows and crude theater. ¡°Whether I will be forgiven or not for investigating the possibility, I must attempt it.¡±


    Soon she returned and announced that all available employees were to report to Mr. Hadolt''s office. They would probably fit at their present numbers, and the manager would need all of them. A short time later, the manager began. ¡°Mr. Derisht has decided to step down from his taxing position. Furthermore, he wishes to keep the announcement secret until he has had time to leave Drastlif.¡±


    ¡°That is correct.¡± The client was sitting, contrary to Onerid''s hopes, as far from any window as he could contrive. ¡°My career has been long, and though I may have gained some credit from my conduct during it, there is another goal of mine which is best sought as a private citizen. To be direct, a rarity for one of my profession I admit, I believe an enemy will murder me if I remain here. I do not demand you agree with me despite the excellent reasons there are for it. However, behaving as if you share my conviction is a requirement of the job. Mr. Hadolt assures me this will be done.¡±


    The employees bowed or curtsied to indicate their assent, and if the idea seemed a product of paranoia, there was that 96 Discernment. Satisfied, Derisht Fogillad continued. ¡°The arrangements to effect my exit cannot be concluded early enough. The destination is unimportant. Secrecy is paramount, and most likely this building is already under watch. Those are the parameters. There is nothing more for me to say, and because ''to hear how it will be done is to lose hope in it,'' I will wait outside.¡± He stepped out into the window-free hallway, a comforting place for a man in his position.


    ¡°And so how is it to be done?¡± Mr. Hadolt asked.


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    An employee asked, ¡°Can we not simply assign a few guards, march him to the harbor, and put him on a ship chartered to arrive at a destination only its captain is told? There is expense in it, but surely.¡±


    Mr. Hadolt tapped his desk. ¡°Rather than expense, it is an issue of manpower and classes. We have, for example, a single Battler.¡± Stansolt Gaomat bowed. ¡°Then a couple Myrmidons, one Subjugator . . . it is impossible to draw from our personnel a force sufficient to allay the client''s fears of assassination. We might hire a condottiero, but can we move faster than that, or?¡±


    The employees considered the issue. Some began to speak only to encounter some difficulty before their first sentence finished. At last, Onerid Paspaklest made a suggestion. ¡°There is this way to increase our manpower temporarily at no great cost, which is to announce our intention of celebrating a festival peculiar to the GE. An authentic one is preferable, but we might make do with something fabricated. We must invite a few people on a very select basis such as one ambassador perhaps, a few gentlemen with the canton gules, a few ladies who have invited us to some function and await reciprocation. Hundreds will show up, not to intrude they will say but merely to watch and inevitably create their own parallel parties. An open-air permit will be required, but there is seldom any trouble in getting one.¡±


    Stansolt Gaomat offered a refinement. ¡°A reenactment would be best, so long as our ancestors do not begrudge the use of their historical accomplishments that we might do something daring ourselves under their masks. Is there a timely historical event? If it is a case of moving something a fortnight in a favorable direction, we can get it done with some finesse.¡±


    Stansolt obviously knew of none. Dirant ransacked his memory for festivals, anything he might once have pled as an excuse to get out of something, but came up with what he wanted no more than would an assassin if he searched Derisht Fogillad''s home just then. Perhaps one of the employees owned one of those books which attached a historical event to each day of the year. With better luck, one might be a true enthusiast.


    ¡°Miss Onerid, how long to acquire the permit and send the invitations?¡± Mr. Hadolt asked. ¡°Let me be specific about what I must know. What day?¡±


    ¡°Today if you like, sir, since there is no need to ensure anyone invited will or can appear.¡±


    ¡°I do like it. I was planning to celebrate Launch Day privately, but it will be all the more elucidating with more people.¡±


    Ah, and there was the enthusiast.


    ¡°As was I, but to have a real ship for it!¡± another employee said. A second enthusiast; people with similar interests did tend to cluster, after all.


    ¡°A permit is necessary? I might then have had a legal tangle for the past few years when I took my household around the neighborhood for a minor Launch Day procession?¡± A third said that. Had Dirant somehow been ill during the Launch Day festival so that nobody wished to disturb him by mentioning it? Every year?


    ¡°Tomorrow is Long Watch, and while I favor it, it is not so much to the purpose.¡±


    No. Rather, the nostalgic Grenlofers of the Drastlif branch had memorized the holidays, festivals, and memorials of the homeland just as the travelers of the Obeneutian wastes knew every cave and source of water. Dirant, Stansolt, Banfol, Onerid, and Onkallant maintained a baffled silence while the veteran branch employees discussed what was needed for the reenactment itself. At least they could speak again when the meeting moved into general preparations.


    Soon all was arranged. Onerid Paspaklest with a small support staff would deal with the regulatory and societal aspects. Hands would be sent out to purchase what masks and costumes were required beyond what employee wardrobes held already, which would not be many. Stansolt Gaomat and Ibir Doteniksta had guard duty over the client''s person while Renlimed Tellanstisk and Dirant Rikelta watched over the lobby from the receptionist''s desk and popcorn counter. If anyone capable of violence showed up, they could alert the Battler and Myrmidon by screaming.


    One such person showed up immediately. ¡°Hello, Ressi. Why is your building under observation by a bunch of people who look like they tore the ''ethics'' and ''morals'' entries out of their lexicons? I really don''t think I''m impatient, but if you solved another incident without me, maybe I should just go home.¡± Millim Takki Atsa used a cloth to wipe her face so cruelly assaulted by the noon sun, and if she hid a tear or two in it, what use was it to notice?


    ¡°The situation is the reverse of that,¡± Dirant assured her. ¡°You are here nearly at the beginning. It is not permitted for me to disclose the matter at this juncture. Instead I may ask whether you are prepared, or no. How prepared are you to attend a festive historical reenactment after the GE fashion this evening?¡±


    ¡°Oh! The one thing I didn''t get to do in Kitslof! I may have some etiquette questions. Would it be impolite of me to bring weaponry?¡±


    ¡°In this instance, it is encouraged.¡±

 18. History And Its Illustrations

    By No Other Means But The Study Of History May We Appreciate The Advancements Made


    The procession set out before sunset, since people were unable to see without light at the time of the original incident. The inability persisted into the modern day, which showed how much more progress might still be made. The Grenlofers nevertheless delayed until a hint of darkness shaded the sky on account of the power a blazing Drastlif day had to diminish the event''s solemnity. Yet those same Grenlofers would scoff when a Yean Defiafi critic summarized Adaban aesthetics as ¡°gloomy.¡±


    The participants wore hoods, not because the Ottkirs of some four centuries did so but rather to emphasize their masks over their own features. The style fell somewhere between Drastlifan tapestries on the one side and Drastlifan mourning masks with their exaggerated frowns and the tear etched under each eye on the other as far as detail versus vagueness, plainness versus vividness, and abstraction versus realism. They resembled people from a distance, though no one in particular, and represented types by their colors. Red for generals, green for youths, brown for statesmen, and blue for philosophers. There were others, and even combinations, but those four covered Launch Day''s roster.


    Launch Day commemorated, as Dirant related to Takki after rushing to learn it himself, the inspection and launch of the first five ships built in Dittsen''s harbor after the city, less grand then, was freed from the Dvanjchtlivs of Chtrebliseu through a battle full of loss and heroism which had its own festival on another date.


    ¡°Here I must confess Launch Day was previously unknown to me, and saying that I hurry on to bring up that I once won a prize for my part in a performance on Battle of Dittsen Day.¡± He finished his explanation in that manner.


    ¡°Then you proceeded to win the Battle of Wessolp by yourself. Are you sure you shouldn''t become a condottiero?¡± Such was Takki''s response, and worst of all, he believed she meant him to consider it.


    As promised by party expert Onerid Paspaklest, or Hospitality Manager as it said on her desk, Drastlifars came out to watch. Some followed behind and found a questionable view until friendly house owners leaning out of their windows invited them in to watch from the side. Others dashed from gap to gap between buildings. A few tried to stay ahead of the marchers and incurred a great deal of blame from their countrymen. Suppose the Adabans became frustrated by the intrusion and gave up the thing entirely? They could be so shy at times, after all. The criticized Drastlifars defended themselves with the incontrovertible fact that nothing happened during the trip to the harbor, and therefore any idea of interference ought to be dismissed. Echoes of the controversy resounded for years.


    The actual performance started when one of the reenactors ascended a platform erected earlier. That was Hadolt Herafoken by general acclamation of the employees, who respected their boss, wanted to be seen to respect their boss, and had listened to him recite the speech from memory before on an unrelated occasion. He addressed the crowd, a term which encompassed in theory the Stadeskosken personnel and a very few guests but in practice throngs of expectant Drastlifars, so many that Onerid had to wrangle the crowd with gentle persuasion in order to keep faith with the authorities, who had required an assurance from Onerid that the performance would not interrupt normal dock operations. As it was, perhaps the fish and the wales ought to have extracted a similar promise if they objected to having the human mass spill into the very ocean.


    For the convenience of the Drastlifars, the proceedings had been tweaked to incorporate a translator. Onkallant waited a step down to belt out the speech in Drastlimez. The adjustment seemed permissible; the historical figures present at the original event, all peace to them, had been speaking Ottkiran anyway, if not Classical Ottkiran. Linguistic historians argued the specifics whenever they had a free moment. Certainly not Archaic Ottkiran, they agreed, except for ones desperately in need of a new theory. In any case, the Drastlifan audience was included, and it liked what it heard.


    ¡°Which is greater, the cruelty of the Dvanjchtliv or the volume of blood it has in its body to shed and fill thereby the imprints of its famous horses, now meat for our children hungry and eager to grow up to have swords on their belts and spears in their hands with which they will continue the slaughter, is a question that to answer today I call impossible.¡± Cheers too boisterous for restraint erupted, but Hadolt had just started. A few sentences later and the tumult even reached Dirant where he sat in the hold of one of five ships rented for the occasion. Since the lone service requested was to let a parade march over them, the cost of that was not so high. That was true for four of the ships.


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    While he waited, Dirant imagined any Dvanjchtlivs who happened to be out there, some of them agents of a foreign government perhaps, drawing their collars up as high as they could and placing fingers over their mustaches as if they were pondering some weighty matter. He hoped nothing happened to his watchers. They had done nothing to make themselves objectionable, and he relied on them for personal security at a cheaper rate than he would get from any other service.


    Despite frequent delays when the applause and whooping briefly became insuperable, Hadolt Herafoken did at last finish the speech, leading to the event''s second segment. The inspectors, for such was the role of the reenactors that evening, filed up a gangplank to look over a ship from the mainmast to the rats. A handful of yahoos drunk on oratorically incited fervor, if not on the more usual causes, had to be restrained by more sober Drastlifars from following, which spared the marchers some worry. They did not wish to be responsible for any accidents, much less for any outsider to see one among them swap places with an employee wearing an identical mask who had boarded hours earlier.


    Whether the person who remained inside the ship was Derisht Fogillad, even the one who merged into the procession was unable to determine. No one aside from the client himself and Hadolt Herafoken knew which of the ships he was to take. Dirant perceived nothing but that his replacement was similar enough to him in height for a hood and distance to eliminate the differences. A large number of men might be so described.


    The keen observer who noticed a switch would, it was hoped, lose confidence when four more were made. The next step for any assassin must be to board the ships and confirm the target, but the territorial crews would by no means allow that before they cast off, which they did promptly after the fifth inspection. Four of the ships were to sail for half an hour or so before returning, while one might anchor at Dubwasef a few months from then, depending on the tides of business.


    With that, the Drastlif branch of Stadeskosken had completed its task in a manner calculated to give complete satisfaction to the client. Two separate Battlers, one on the payroll and the other working on a temporary basis and paid in excitement, reported that the spectators they had identified as foremost in suspicious behavior still had their eyes on the marchers. Satisfied, Hadolt ordered the bonfires set for the final portion of the reenactment.


    The staff set up two bonfires to represent the historical event, during which there were so many fires and so hot did they burn that the sun was slow to rise the next day and the sands turned to glass according to a contemporary account which modern historians considered, to put it kindly, exaggerated. For one thing, one had to travel fairly far from Dittsen to find significant amounts of sand, though perhaps its getting turned into glass accounted for that.


    Around those fires the inspectors stood, saluting until the ships passed out of sight and for a few minutes after. The branch manager then had Onkallant relieve the uncertainty of the Drastlifars regarding the event''s duration by yelling out, ¡°The formal reenactment is ended. Customarily we cook up a big meal and make a night of it, but nothing specific is scheduled.¡±


    The locals liked that almost as much as the speech. A dozen more fires appeared without any organization. Without a permit either, but with his own hands Nacheslicar Neilt-Viskin turned a spit, and he on the Permissive Council. And the man speaking to him; surely everyone knew Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain, or if a person here and there did not, concentrating on the Nein-Cadops-Bain part got the significance across. Get two great families on your side and little could not be done, regardless of the ostensible laws.


    The incipient party drew in people who had missed the reenactment proper, whether from a lack of interest or the intercession of pressing responsibilities. The result could be nothing but a Dubwasef shindig that spread far over the beach and lost any Adaban character, like a local legend written down by an academic on a research trip who brings with him six servants and eight trunks of clothing. Roasts, grills, and heavy percussion, a Drastlifan specialty traced by musical historians to the practice of beating time for rowers, broke out all over. The GE citizens who put on the reenactment did not mind that, though some felt it a requirement of patriotism to inform the partygoers as they mingled that the lost character ought properly to be called not Adaban but Ottkir.


    ¡°Don''t you think this is better than Yean Defiafi cuisine? They cover up the flavor of the meat too much there.¡± Takki''s teeth ripped into what was once a lamb, and while the chunk of meat on the skewer did not in fact measure larger than her head, it gave that impression.


    ¡°Their meat is almost all fish,¡± Dirant said in defense of a cuisine he did not particularly admire, which proved to himself how fair and honest he was.


    ¡°You don''t like fish, Ressi? What happened to that otter spirit?¡±


    ¡°The modern otter prefers popcorn. I was thinking more that the Defiafi is surrounded by homogeneity and must on his own initiative add variety, while the Drastlifar imports what he cannot produce himself. The solution is greater reliance on Stadeskosken''s services, but the Defiafis are a proud people.¡± Dirant tried to spin his mask on a finger, dropped it, and knelt to pick it up.

 19. Assignment After Assignment

    The Busiest Life, The Happiest Life, And The Most Respectable Life Are All Three Identical


    ¡°There has to be a lot wrong with what you just said, but I haven''t figured it out yet. Oh, it''s Onerid! Onerid, would you agree with me that¡ª oh, she''s talking to someone. We shouldn''t interrupt, Ressi.¡±


    Compliance came easily to Dirant, and a desire to intrude failed to manifest when he saw the Drastlifar with her. If a lack of grandchildren was the doom threatening Delaosant Paspaklest, that fellow looked to have been outfitted by nature as a deliberate instrument to avert it. He was of that category someone might call perfectly formed in figure and feature, most likely as a complaint. Though a hair shorter than Dirant, in every other area he excelled, from his mesmerizing green eyes as opposed to the non-mesmerizing type Dirant possessed to the beard he cultivated after a finer fashion than his countrymen who valued size over shape. Probably he had a deep and melodious voice as well, Dirant surmised, because fairness exists only within company pay scales, and there for newer hires alone. While watching those two drift out of sight, Dirant wondered if Drastlif''s conventions considered the current celebration to be private, or the reenactment for that matter. He supposed Onerid knew, as did the man with her whose name he presumed he never would learn.


    ¡°Either that was Eizesl Bodan-Tin or the sun escaped too quickly to give us a proper look.¡±


    ¡°Not Eizesl Keiminops Bodan-Tin, you must mean?¡±


    Hearing that, Dirant turned around and at last realized why Takki had been looking backward: the keen battle awareness of her class. Why, he might have been dead already if those people had been chatty assassins rather than a bevy of young Drastlifan ladies flitting about Onkallant Paspaklest''s athletic form. Everyone was a friend at the fair, after all.


    Onkallant never waited for fairs to be friendly. If anything, he acted with more circumspection than usual. ¡°Suppose he is. It isn''t a matter that should bring us to bother Mr. Dirant and his friend.¡± The specified gentleman never longed for Onkallant''s presence, but he always appreciated his incisive words. ¡°There''s something. Was it not asked who would bear arms in the GE should we take up heraldry? Surely this man''s family. I can tell you how wealthy this man''s father is only if you let me call upon all your fingers and toes. And who will volunteer to go first?¡± Words like those, for example.


    The girls giggled, though the first Dirant had heard persisted in her identification efforts. ¡°But was it the light or not, and if the second, that terrible second, were it not advised by justice for someone to warn that beauty of the eizesl''s reputation?¡±


    Onkallant laughed at that. ¡°A beauty! Onerid! I see my forefathers before me! They wait for me to join them in the fortless lands! Aha! Ah, no, that was my sister. She is wary as a habit and big-eared as a profession. Your worry is charming and unnecessary at once together.¡±


    ¡°I''m a little worried,¡± Takki confessed. ¡°When I heard about Keiminops Bodan-Tin, people refused to define half the words.¡±


    ¡°Onerid knows them,¡± Onkallant assured her.


    ¡°You''re right.¡±


    That calmed Takki, but not the Drastlifars. ¡°There''s textual support by the foot and the mile for older brothers to take action, Eizesl.¡±


    ¡°We''re often the villain in such stories.¡±


    ¡°But what if he resorts to . . . measures?¡± The lady fretted as she said even that much.


    ¡°Well, what of it? She''s a very Myrmidon. That eizesl, is what, a Visionary or so? The measures he might take! Proposed plans for a new model of granary I suppose!¡±


    ¡°But . . .¡±


    ¡°Excuse me. It is so very rude to ask, and yet I must know. Will you take part in the beach race, Mr. Onkallant?¡± Dirant assayed a bold gambit. For one thing, no beach race had been planned. For another, his short acquaintance gave him small grounds to judge if Onkallant''s responses were growing as testy as he thought. Conjecturing that Onkallant''s displeasure came from the tension between his desire to take actions which might improve Loigwin''s chances and his understanding that they would fail to do anything but make his sister mad was entirely unreasonable, but Dirant did it anyway. Afterward, if he judged himself correct, he could get to working out whether Onerid really was a Myrmidon or if her brother meant that figuratively.


    Onkallant''s ready agreement had undeniable relief in it, which taught Dirant the important lesson that guesses are better than sure knowledge. The girls also consented with enthusiasm. That solved all present problems except the one Dirant had in organizing a spontaneous beach race, but the ready cooperation of still-sober party attendees reduced the difficulty to a mere pebble among thousands. With that accomplished, Dirant was able to relax, enjoy praise for thinking to enliven the event with a race, and theorize whether, if senior ambassador Derisht Fogillad''s claims were true, a tragedy more meaningful than a sparsely attended family reunion yet menaced former ambassador Delaosant Paspaklest.


    Break-ins and ritual security aside, had the main office forgotten its Itinerant Ritualist? Did no Ritualists of the normal sort require training? Probably not. Rituals spread like plagues, which was the sort of simile Dirant''s mind began to produce a few days later with nothing on his hands but to do odd jobs and be receptive to gossip. Even that was less fun after seeing the shortcomings of lazy Rumor firsthand. People were talking up how often Keiminops Bodan-Tin of the illustrious Bodan-Tin family was meeting the daughter of the venerable ambassador from Greater Enloffenkir, Delaosant Paspaklest. Since Dirant could testify from his personal knowledge that Onerid was spending her time rating every restaurant in the city along with Takki, practicing calligraphy, and preparing for the grand opening of a new Stadeskosken warehouse furnished for walk-in shoppers, he knew placidity had reduced society to inventing titillating scenarios, and worse, it failed even at that. Surely Drastlif''s gossips could make up something a bit spicier.


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    Boredom compelled Dirant to compose prayers simply as a way to keep busy. ¡°Holzd of many occupations . . . task-giving Holzd . . . busy-handed Holzd . . . That last is appropriate for the god of thievery, perhaps. Is there such?¡± His religious studies had reached that nebulous region where no longer did everything he heard about the gods surprise him, but neither did he believe himself an authority. Worse, he considered there to be no authorities, since much of what he read conflicted with what he saw. His god had stated for certain that epithets pleased him, and therefore he acted upon that without imagining he understood anything else.


    He had moved on to contemplating what new ritual he might try to devise when, like an omen from the god, a man walked in, a Drastlifar of no mean appearance. He spoke to receptionist Renlimed Tellanstisk. ¡°It isn''t that I have any request myself, but a man who has no ear for the request of a friend is deaf indeed. Stanops Bodan-Tin had this thought that it might be possible to have prepared for his use a certain novelty in which your bustling company specializes.¡±


    Stanops Bodan-Tin. That all sounded like a name to the naive Adaban back home, but the experienced world traveler possessed of deep cultural knowledge understood ¡°stanops¡± to mean ¡°fewman,¡± or ¡°the word ''few'' put into the masculine singular form¡± if one wished to be unpleasant about it, and further that it functioned as an honorific reserved for those famed oligarchs who ruled the country from their honor-cushioned seats on the Permissive and Restricted Councils. How many stories were told in Greater Enloffenkir, in Yean Defiafi, in every country of the opulence of those oligarchs? How many more were told of their cunning? Then there were the ones in which somebody managed to dupe a clownish oligarch, the primary interest of which came from the reversal of expectations.


    ¡°Ah!¡± The receptionist adopted a look of appropriate awe. ¡°If you, sir, are a messenger from Stanops Bodan-Tin¡ª¡±


    The visitor hurried to correct her. ¡°No, not that, only a friend, anyone would say.¡±


    ¡°Lickspittle.¡± Onerid happened to be passing by the popcorn counter and leaned over to whisper that to Dirant, who at that moment was closer to her than the younger, non-oligarch Bodan-Tin had ever been. He resisted a laugh, but if the customer had looked over then, he would have seen an unprofessional countenance.


    ¡°Then you must speak with Mr. Hadolt Herafoken, the manager here, sir. Please come this way.¡± Renlimed Tellanstisk led the messenger, or rather one of the numerous people who depended on the Bodan-Tins and kept themselves ready at all the times to run errands, accompany their benefactors in public, or get into a wild street brawl over news articles that failed to display total obsequiousness. Men like Poiskops Bodan-Tin employed many servants but needed none; even the salaries they paid were in the nature of charity.


    That visit for once did not end with a staff meeting, but Mr. Hadolt did call four employees to his office afterward. ¡°He wishes to have a popcorn stand set up in the village of Koshat Dreivis,¡± the manager told them in tones of no less wonder than a father might have when greeting his first infant, or the pious caretaker of a temple if a stranger restored a statue thought lost. ¡°What amazes me the most is that we have guidelines from the home office dealing with exactly this work category. I am instructed to require that the installation be performed by Stadeskosken Ritualists without oversight from the client, and of course schedules of payment are specified for different intended uses. As the oligarch evidently has no plans to sell the resulting product, there will be only a fee for labor and an agreement to purchase the necessary corn exclusively from our company. But how did they know?¡±


    All those provisions emerged from the licensing negotiations because of lawyerly thoroughness, but Dirant interpreted the question as rhetorical. He was not mistaken. The manager moved directly to the specifics of the assignment. Since travel was required, naturally Itinerant Ritualist Dirant Rikelta would fulfill the Stadeskosken Ritualist condition. He would have Onerid Paspaklest with him to translate as well to ensure everything was done according to the agreement, that the outcome pleased the client, and that the client further had an opportunity to learn of everything else Stadeskosken could do for him, his friends, and anyone he knew. The part about spreading the word indicated Onerid over Onkallant given the avenues of communication maintained by Drastlif''s ladies. To assist those two and not admit to guarding them, Stansolt Gaomat and Ibir Doteniksta had been picked.


    ¡°Though how necessary is that?¡± On the top of Hadolt''s desk were strewn schedules at which he liked to glare as sort of a hobby. ¡°Mr. Dirant, you have your own guard, do you not? We must satisfy the license requirements, but one will suffice for that. I might remove Mr. Stansolt from the assignment.¡±


    Hearing that, Dirant doubted whether the home office had informed the branch that he himself was one of the license holders. Scheming ways to get out of the terms in front of one of the parties must be the result of ignorance, he thought, before he realized the other possibility: Hadolt was asking his permission without disclosing his position to the others. Dirant was inclined to give it.


    ¡°Essentially so,¡± he said. Takki did what she liked, being on vacation, and surely the Dvanjchtlivan agents tailing him would be recalled after some time of his doing nothing suspicious, but Dirant considered himself protected for the present.


    Someone disagreed. ¡°That all may be so, but is there not something worrying in the timing of this request?¡± It was Stansolt Gaomat, an expert in both violence and skulduggery and therefore someone unwise to ignore. ¡°So soon after an alleged assassination target fled with this company''s help, the portions of my brain that question coincidences shout loudly enough to draw the attention of those doctors who even now attempt to determine which bit does what. Seeing as Mr. Dirant was the substitute . . .¡±


    ¡°How do you know that?¡± Hadolt would have sprung from his chair if he had been sitting. Unfortunately he lacked a humorous temperament, or else he might have sat down and then stood back up.


    ¡°It was my job to be observant, I understood. Was that incorrect? Either way, the ultimate purpose of this invitation may be interrogation.¡±


    The manager frowned. ¡°That''s jumping across more than one rock.¡±

 20. A Rural Excursion

    The Most Vital Precaution Is To Have One''s Fill Of Civilization Before Abandoning It


    Dirant shared the skepticism. He went further to suspect Stansolt wanted to skip town for private reasons. That was no reason not to accommodate him; on the contrary, a Tit-for-Tat of 42 sufficed for Dirant to think he ought to back up a man who had saved him from ruthless Dvanjchtliv scoundrels not long before. Then there was the possibility Stansolt was right after all, regardless of whether he meant to be. ¡°Mr. Hadolt, I have been placed alongside and above Mr. Stansolt before, and the accuracy of his ideas with regard to the behavior of criminals astonished me,¡± he said with complete honesty that Stansolt appreciated, to judge by his wry smile.


    Against that sudden reversal of opinion, Hadolt could do nothing but capitulate. The itinerary came next. Koshat Dreivis sat near the coast to the southwest of the capital, by road a bracing two days or a relaxed four days. Guests of an oligarch never braced or relaxed. They were whisked. In the earliest hours of the morning when never did a human rise by choice, a boat came for them. On account of the latitude allowed Stadeskosken in determining the contingent necessary for the operation, Millim Takki Atsa was allowed to board, and even Dirant''s shadows could have come along had he or they asked.


    ¡°If the winds are friendly and the tides kind, Koshat Dreivis will see you ere the wait becomes intolerable,¡± the boat''s master assured them. Nobody pointed out the predictability of the tides or the probable irrelevance of the wind given the hearty rowers happy to serve the Bodan-Tin family. Some wanted to, but they settled for asking the rowers how they liked the job.


    ¡°The rowing is intense as lightning and as frequent as a kind word,¡± they said, a statement which they meant fondly if their cheerful demeanors during the task indicated anything.


    To see a sunrise out on the water made a rare, terrifying spectacle on the Suvozingedyai Sea, but there on the ocean it might be called enchanting instead. Onerid appeared calm enough. By then she wore full Drastlifan costume unlike all other Stadeskosken employees, who kept to their traditional habiliments. One hand restrained her hair, also restyled with some kind of half-bun incomprehensible to Adabans, that she might gaze without interruption on the glowing horizon. A missed commercial opportunity, Dirant realized. They could have sold Loigwin a ticket. The idea raised a question he opted not to express.


    ¡°Does Eizesl Nein-Cadops-Bain know you''re leaving? And where you''re going?¡± Whatever Dirant opted, Takki possessed initiative and nosiness of her own.


    ¡°Only if you told him.¡± Onerid and Takki both found that an amusing response for unfathomable reasons. Possibly it referred to a previous incident.


    A morning there surpassed in tranquility even a slow business day in the office. Splashing strokes responded to the drumbeats in perfect order, and under the canopy raised over the boat, the journey seemed almost a concert. So naturally Takki talked during it.


    ¡°Do you think that if he heard . . . Wait. That would make it sound as if I''m accusing him of something. I want this to be a non-specific question. First, the foundation. I''ve heard there are towns that a family basically controls. Is that how it works?¡±


    ¡°It is,¡± Onerid answered, ¡°so long as we broaden the statement. Nearly every town, city, village, and well in the country is more or less the property of from one to three families, with ''more'' referring to cases of land ownership and ''less'' to those where the residents come to the head with all their controversies and their begging for loans. Dubwasef and Vigit Pikilif are exceptions, there is Geimif, Wini Ves, a few others. But visit Imslif and you must mention your acquaintance with a Nein-Cadops-Bain as often as you may manage it, not that I have done so for some years.¡±


    ¡°Ah, and so our mission is to add another reminder of the beneficence the Bodan-Tins show to the citizens so long as they remain obedient?¡± Dirant asked.


    ¡°That is sure to be the effect, however.¡± Onerid leaned on her left arm and held up a hand of intellectual caution. ¡°Philosophers tell us how seldom an effect is intended by the agents who cause it, and this is an example wherein the one thing everyone knows about Stanops Bodan-Tin, who is more retiring than most of his rank, is the sincere affection he holds for Koshat Dreivis, the ancestral home of the Bodan family, and his disappointment at how few of his relatives share it.¡±


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    ¡°That was two things, Onerid.¡±


    ¡°A third will sneak in soon enough, Takki.¡± That also amused the two of them. While Dirant reflected on how little we understand of one another, Onerid continued. ¡°Almost certainly that Stanops wants this job done because of his pure desire to improve the town. The citizens will consequently persist in their fondness and trust, and from a distance it will all look very calculated when it''s really just the way things are done.¡±


    ¡°That sounds like the old days with kings and householders.¡± Takki fiddled with her head scarf, since her usual exercises were inadvisable on the boat. ¡°Thank you for the explanation, Onerid. My question still makes sense if I''m not wrong. Can a member of another big family show up in Koshat Dreivis if he wants? Would that cause trouble? Is there a protocol for it?¡±


    ¡°Oh yes, it is wholly outrageous for a bearer of the canton gules to appear in a settlement understood to be controlled by another family without invitation, and even a lesser armiger is expected to seek approval to stay more than one night in a single-family town. The usual procedure is to write a letter which hints at a desire to receive an invitation, for example something about missing a previous chance to pay respects or a lament about how dry are written words, because that way neither side is embarrassed by a refusal. Sometimes embarrassment is intended, I am told. Narrowing the example exactly the way you didn''t want to do, but I promise it will be all right, I expect a Nein-Cadops-Bain would have no difficulty whatever getting himself invited by the Bodan-Tins, but if it were a question of the Ektin-Sars, the answer would be no. Hee.¡±


    ¡°What are you imagining now?¡±


    ¡°Catapults set up in Imslif and Sarmagis constantly launching Nein-Cadops-Bains and Ektin-Sars at each other and press gangs running through the streets to round more of them up. There''s one under the stairs! Get him! Mmf!¡±


    Onerid''s shoulders shook and her eyes clamped shut as she struggled to suppress her unsophisticated laughter. The picture in her mind became too vivid, and she started tracing the theoretical trajectory of the armiger projectiles with her fan while making whooshing noises broken up by the occasional ¡°Splat!¡± Meanwhile, Takki bit down on her scarf to avoid joining in.


    Never on the Oskid did Dirant predict that between the two Paspaklests, Onerid was the one given to whimsy. How true was that line about the extent to which we understand one another, that being the width of mabonnpaper. Onerid''s energetic pantomime did great work in distracting Dirant from his real worries. He peaked at Stansolt Gaomat, who was looking on the whole thing with amused tolerance, and winced. There was the personification of danger on the boat with them, and though Dirant''s earlier reasoning held, he could not help but wish he had argued Mr. Hadolt''s side.


    Superstitious thoughts of that sort slandered Stansolt, since danger thrived regardless of his presence or absence. Possible commercial espionage, alleged assassinations, potential kidnappings, definite mail interception: it all felt an expected part of life in the cities, but sitting there surrounded by the ocean that never yielded aid to man without toil and risk, there was nothing to comfort Dirant while dread grew within him, nothing at all but the even pace of the drum. Was his Divine Guidance (Hunch) activating? Dirant tried to break his thoughts, but the drum kept beating, beating the way to Koshat Dreivis.


    A couple of piers, a long shed to house a boat or two, and a hull upturned on the beach combined to tell every ship that passed by a simple message: ¡°This is a port, but it is not a mistake that you have never stopped here.¡± Coils of rope, very neat, ornamented the place further, and stacks of nets as well, all under canopies. A few boats on the water, smaller and rowed usually by one to three people, those likely being a father and his sons, indicated that fishing was not at the heart of the town''s economy. The crews waved to the oligarch''s swift dispatch boat as it approached. As she approached. Dirant still had to remind himself when it came to the nautical life and its conventions.


    Stansolt Gaomat took furtive security measures. He leapt up a small ladder attached to the pier with adroitness appropriate for an Acrobat or a Sportsman for the purpose of scouting the area before giving Dirant a hand. Ordinarily even a Ritualist could manage a ladder, a small one anyway, but the bag he carried full of needed equipment impeded him.


    Ibir Doteniksta climbed up next with no attempt at secrecy. Her martial experience came from life in forts where her husband, Istarank Faolst, was posted before his death where warlike behavior need not be disguised. The shoulder-length style she used for her black hair came from the same place, presumably, though her parents contributed her wide mouth and the sun her deep tan, less startling than what Yumins often ended up inflicting on the world but noticeable nevertheless.


    Takki bounded up Battlerishly much like Stansolt, while Onerid''s climbing style resembled Ibir''s sufficiently for Dirant to rethink his theory that Onkallant called her a Myrmidon as a reference to her temperament rather than her actual class. Asking her himself was out of the question, and getting the information through Takki would simply be a matter of laundering rudeness. Dirant realized he may have been the only non-combat class in that assortment, a position lonely yet which at the same time conferred the feeling of a king surrounded by his royal guard.

 21. Infrastructure And Its Consequences

    A Road May Tell More Lies Than A Felon


    Another friend of the family met them to conduct the oligarch''s guests to Koshat Dreivis proper despite the existence of a road leading to it. Visitors could get lost anywhere, he did not say, and perhaps did not even think, but the effect was the same, just as those philosophers Onerid cited kept saying.


    ¡°It occurs to me too late for anyone to praise my perceptiveness that in all these days I have spent in this country, today for the first time I step outside of a city,¡± Dirant remarked. ¡°And what will we say of this road? Though narrow for proper two-way wagon traffic, any such is likely to go in one direction at a time only. The paving appears to be done with that combination of clay and sand which sees more or less use in response to regional availability of materials. It is without question respectable. What distinguishes this road is the trees which provide both cover and decoration. Rather than straight columns we may describe as both stately and unimaginative, purposeful cultivation has produced a series of arches consisting of that ''heart of palms'' we are told is an embellishment of heraldry, here realized. The trunks are a bit far apart, but I ignore that as a matter of practicality.¡±


    ¡°It''s as you say, Mr. Dirant.¡± Stansolt dashed ahead at every pair of palm trees to search behind them before the others came even with them, which proved his interest in dendrology. ¡°Can you conceive that anyone who walks down this path will not know there''s an important personage at the other end of it? The plan of this road cannot be bettered.¡±


    ¡°It might be straighter for better speed,¡± Ibir suggested. ¡°Or more curved and accompanied by a fence or wall for a sounder defense. In the gaps between wall and road might be placed supplies, and a gatehouse every so often would not be without value. The price hardly bears contemplation, so I recommend the straightening instead.¡±


    Stansolt disputed the proposal in this fashion. ¡°The gentle winding of the road nudges the traveler to look off to one side or another as he goes. Aren''t you becoming more impressed step by step? Your line of sight is manipulated to sweep across the increasingly cultivated countryside so that you associate prosperity with the oligarch himself.¡±


    ¡°I had not noticed it consciously,¡± Onerid said. ¡°But you are right.¡±


    The inland fields around Koshat Dreivis could be identified by the most citified person as being given over to the growing and harvesting of tea provided that city boy had been exposed beforehand to a detailed tapestry of Drastlif which depicted the subject. Nothing could better give the sense that ¡°to live¡± had here been replaced by ¡°to thrive¡± than the cultivation of such an inessential plant.


    Takki tapped Dirant with a fan. She had not yet attained mastery of the social nuances of Drastlifan fan manipulation, but she had begun to carry one because it was getting hot, not to mention the bugs. ¡°Ressi, do you think this is a fundamental cultural issue or a consequence of the business your company is in?¡±


    ¡°It''s my unfortunate stupidity I am sure, but what do you mean?¡±


    ¡°I mean why you''re talking about roads like this. You can agree it''s weird, can''t you? Ressi?¡±


    He shook his head.


    ¡°Mr. Stansolt?¡±


    Likewise.


    ¡°Mrs. Istarank?¡±


    Ibir frowned and said nothing.


    ¡°Onerid?¡±


    She considered it. She gave it an honest try. Looking down, looking up, tapping her fan on her nose, and sighing once, Onerid tried to see it Takki''s way. ¡°No,¡± she concluded.


    Desperate, Takki resorted to her rudimentary Drastlimez. ¡°Excuse me, Eizesl. Would you think it odd for people to talk about roads how good they are? When the planner of the road can''t hear.¡±


    Their guide, who until then had been strolling along with a carefree gait natural to those certain their presence was of no use except as an ornament, looked puzzled. ¡°A road? This road, Barais?¡±


    Though addressed by the honorific designated for married women, Takki did not take offense. She had read even before arriving in Drastlif that ¡°Barais¡± also applied to young women who would be married if ever men developed any sense. From that she had the dual pleasure of hearing a compliment and having the worldliness to recognize it. ¡°Right now they talk about this road, but if you give me an opinion on the idea entire, I will thank you.¡±


    ¡°What are they saying about it?¡±


    ¡°Oh, that it''s perfect. They go into a lot of detail about the choice of . . . items . . . that are part of it . . . and the way it directs our attention as we get closer to the town. I think it''s weird, but am I wrong?¡±


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    The guide smiled wide enough for two such roads. ¡°How will the Stanops react when I tell him? Maybe I should have a thought for his health and stay silent about it.¡± The Adabans and Sivoslofer chuckled along with him and left the Jalpi Peffu isolated, as was the habitual state of geopolitics.


    The strong affinity between Greater Enloffenkir and Drastlif suffered when citizens of the former reached an example of the latter''s walls. The majestic stone bulwarks of a city such as Wessolp, notwithstanding their actual usefulness against modern invasion techniques, existed in a different century from the plain planks arranged to a height of not quite two Rikeltas which surrounded Koshat Dreivis. The wooden fortifications before them were suitable for nothing but to be a backdrop for a historian while he explained the crude construction methods which produced the old hill forts of eight hundred years past.


    ¡°Oh! The saying is true!¡± When they neared the gate, unbarred and inviting, Takki diverted attention from Drastlif''s technological sophistication to the diligent skill of its craftsmen by failing to thrust a piece of paper between the wall''s slats.


    ¡°What saying is that?¡± Dirant asked.


    ¡°''Might as well pass a note through a fence in Drastlif.'' Do you have an equivalent?¡±


    ¡°Of a task difficult to accomplish, or?¡±


    ¡°Yes, but really it should seem like it''s going to be easy.¡±


    The first phrase that came to Dirant, ¡°Like getting a Jalpi Peffu through an open door,¡± he judged unwise to say. He had just invented it, for one thing, and therefore it did not satisfy that criterion.


    ¡°''Making your dog hate you'' is the closest I can think, even though it isn''t quite the same connotation,¡± Stansolt offered.


    ¡°That is a saying I don''t remember hearing. Is it in common use, or?¡± Dirant asked.


    ¡°The same for me,¡± Onerid said.


    ¡°It is a Sivosloferism,¡± Ibir attested, which cleared that up, though Stansolt wanted further testimony on the point.


    The guests in both the invited and the Takki categories walked into the Drastlifan town, the first for some of them. The casual observer''s initial assessment must have been ¡°Vigit Pikilif, but smaller.¡± The one-story homes separated by the narrowest gap or a ribbon-thin street put it farther from Dubwasef and closer to Vigit. None of those old-timey decorative flourishes pointed out there by experienced architectural tour guide Onerid Paspaklest showed, but neither did the Dubwasef stripes. ¡°Rural,¡± she labeled the style, which was disappointing.


    Other elements betrayed that conclusion once Takki found the Drastlimez translation for ''elements'' and ''conclusion'' in her lexicon. For instance, what about that sinuous green something-or-other winding between and around residences from the underside of their roofs to a spot between them where a tank sat below? Such delicate embellishments violated the rural feel as understood everywhere except Yean Defiafi. And what about the relief on the tank that depicted the cycle of rain and flood with, if anything, greater detail than the tapestries acquired at such great expense by collectors abroad? On closer examination, that was a cistern collecting rainwater from a lovely little drainpipe.


    Then there was the netting across the mouth and exit of tiny arcades between buildings to keep out bugs, the road that descended below ground level past establishments selling or storing goods better kept cool or dark, and the bells placed at even distances to be rung in case of being chased by criminals. A park contained a statue of two wrestlers engaged in the classic contest of Muscle and Coordination designed so that they shifted their arms throughout the day to signal the time on the clock face which surrounded them.


    ¡°All along the Drastlif of rumor hides here,¡± Dirant proclaimed. ¡°I must write a monograph to inform tourists.¡± That country of ever-advancing perfectionism existed after all, the one which many travelers reluctantly accepted as a myth on the order of the still rivers and the fairy kingdoms under the hills. Perhaps those other towns dominated by oligarchical families enjoyed similar perfections of municipal science owing to the care of their arms-bearing masters. If anyone wanted an argument to justify handing Haderslant Rikelta a shield with an otter painted on it and complete control of Fennizen''s affairs, there it was. Dirant had not before, but valleys become canyons as rivers flow.


    Takki grabbed his arm and pointed out this feature and that convenience, and an upbringing which instilled morality and restraint alone prevented her from leaping over the clock. ¡°How amazing!¡± she said. ¡°Wouldn''t it surprise those egotists in Sessu Rasse if we showed them this place? They''d have to stop saying there are three civilized places in the world and two of them are made up.¡±


    ¡°It is not so hard,¡± Onerid assured her. ¡°We hire workmen to dig all around and under the town, this should take no more than three years of Chtrebliseu''s royal revenues, wait for the rainy season, and float it out. The inhabitants will be happy to row of course, and to rest them when possible we will run up a gigantic sail sewn together from the Stanops''s wardrobe. Supplies will be bought along the way from the proceeds of tourism. The boat which carried us can ferry wealthy clients to and from the mainland as we go easily enough, but the trouble is advertising.¡± If printed in the broadsheets or read during a legal proceeding, the audience might conclude the speaker was engaging in deadpan humor. For that reason alone, the courts and reporters ought not to be trusted. Onerid demonstrated the digging and the hoisting of the sail with the exaggerated movements of a goslikenar actor hoping to stand out, and the hills and valleys of her voice could have confounded the most assiduous maker of topographical maps. Her enthusiastic performance, in Adaban naturally, worried their guide.


    ¡°Have I overlooked something, of a nature medical or some point of etiquette?¡± he asked.


    Dirant moved to calm his fears, since Takki, the member of the group with the greatest degree of acquaintance with the man, was clearly set on returning to the question of whether the citizens of Sessu Rasse would regret their condescension toward the other communities of Pavvu Omme Os if they knew about the wrestle clock. ¡°Ah, it is merely a matter of discussing how best to inform other countries of the excellent features of this town with the goal of . . . getting . . . better things . . . in cities abroad.¡±


    ¡°Oho! ''Splendid as her smile when you step back on land long left and lonely in your heart for it,'' is the line that comes to mind. I have to call on the old writers to describe what I think of that idea. The new writers have their merits, I''ll allow. Oh, when I tell the Stanops!¡±

 22. The Truly Powerful Need Not Flaunt Their Power

    However, It Is A Public Courtesy To Do So And Leave None Confused


    The opportunity for that lay not far before them, once certain guests left off from their time-wasting antics. Density described the overarching theme of Koshat Dreivis''s layout, and consequently the palace of the oligarch required no long journey to reach from the ocean-ward gate. The Bodan-Tin residence respected that same compact philosophy, to a degree. It loomed over its neighbors on account of its second story, smaller than the ground level so that the edifice resembled a puffy Redrin pastry with cream poured in a lowered center. In other words, appealing. Still, compared to memories of the high piles of Dubwasef or the sprawling estates of Vigit Pikilif, whether including or excluding the tennis courts, as well as to Redrin''s pastries, it looked suitable to have some Yean Defiafi tourist drop by and call it quaint.


    Inside, the furnishings included all the polished wood and marble of a GE lawyer''s drawing room, except lighter woods had been chosen and colors other than brown had been allowed for the rugs, the tapestries, and the portraits of venerable family members. The house therefore avoided the usual jibe back home about how brown-on-brown interiors are chosen to prevent visitors from making out the faults in the woodwork and the dirt in the carpet. Poiskops Bodan-Tin''s foyer had no flaws anywhere so far as those visitors were able to tell, though a professional might have had something to say about it. A request for employment, for example, because that was unquestionably the home of a wealthy man.


    The guide paused there. ¡°Please, Baraises, every Eizesl, wait here while I try to find out if my friend is not buried under correspondence. That''s happened before, but we didn''t realize until we heard his stomach growling.¡±


    ¡°There they must be! Which among you fine men is Sajaitin Rikelta?¡±


    At the sound of that voice which sounded as if once it boomed but had worn itself out by too much of that behavior, their guide spun toward its source, not in the manner of a legal consultant for an embassy caught exchanging money for pharmaceuticals destined for illicit use, but like someone delighted to see a brother after years spent apart. The reminder Onerid gave about the authentic foundations of the relationships between armiger families and the people they sheltered from the world''s storms had support there.


    Poiskops Bodan-Tin did not look to be the sort of person to resent the characterization his sycophant had just assigned him. Rather, the idea his responsibilities prevented him from indulging in simple pleasures floated somewhere between flattery and plain truth. His chubby cheeks prepared the viewer for more girth than he actually possessed, the former showing his inclination and the latter the effect of circumstances. Aside from all that, he stood a bit below average but not enough to cause unkind comment, wore the usual fuzzy brown beard and a deep purple cummerbund, and bore the years about as well as any man might whose grandchildren already could complain about the presents they received.


    ¡°This is the one you want, Stanops!¡± The guide put his hand on Dirant''s left shoulder, both to identify the Ritualist and to brace him against the powerful Bodan-Tin charge. The passing of years had slowed it a bit, but at the end, Poiskops still shook Dirant''s hand nearly hard enough to jostle loose the sack held under his other arm. The other introductions involved an equivalent amount of enthusiasm or, in the case of the ladies, respect.


    Especially in Onerid''s case. ¡°Deuani Paspaklest long ago left us ungrateful Drastlifars whom even the captains above captains must at times despair of fixing, but instead of waiting ''patiently tapping his foot,'' as they say, for amnesiac Drastlif to continue the exchange of honors, he sent us a jewel of his own. I met him a couple times.¡±


    Adaban advisors in social niceties might have advised against that last part, and the earlier part too, and really everything Drastlifars did. According to local ideas, however, he had done everything correctly by alerting Onerid he was speaking in an overall way and did not expect any special message to be sent from her father through her. So Onerid said later at any rate. At the same time she explained ¡°deuani¡± referred to the quality of being sacrosanct. It applied to ambassadors as an honorific, a fact her foreign audience had guessed but liked to hear confirmed for fear of an embarrassing incident.


    After that, the gracious head of the Bodan-Tin family invited them all to dine with him, as it was too late in the day for business. Dirant looked through a window at the town increasingly covered by elongating shadows, calculated he could complete the project before sunset, and made no objection. The client''s schedule was Stadeskosken''s schedule, after all.


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    The inner courtyard of the mansion functioned as a dining room that day. Though the house held one or two actual rooms for the purpose at other times, an array of round tables complete with a marble strip across the center of each waited there for Poiskops when he decided the weather deserved better than a roof. Poles around them held up shield-shaped canvas covers, their undersides converted into a confusion of colors and shapes which must have been the Bodan-Tin coat of arms. A Drastlifan mourning mask and a ship''s steering wheel, both red, as well as a green dolphin, were split up by stripes and stars, and under all of that, white and purple diamonds repeated till they made eyes water. Of course the silver symmetreel on a red square assured everyone that an oligarch looked down on them and always would.


    Upon hearing Poiskops Bodan-Tin''s shield described as lozengy argent and purpure, on a bend azure between a mourning mask in chief gules and a dolphin in base naiant to sinister vert five mullets pierced sable, a scarp cortised or, a wheel in dexter as mask, on a canton gules a symmetreel urinant argent, Dirant remembered with a sigh the days of two cows and some corn. Back then, he thought he might come to understand heraldry.


    Aside from all that, netting hung from the edges of the canvas all the way to the ground to discourage insects who wished to attend. The host populated the tables with the Stadeskosken employees and Millim Takki Atsa, some sycophants, toadies, a few parasites, and assorted townsfolk. Even an oligarch could not get every guest he wanted, however. ¡°Eizesl Dogai-Brein takes his hobbies too seriously, though anyone would say he''s earned it with how much their fortunes have improved under him,¡± Poiskops remarked to the men who shared the central table with him. ¡°When does he even eat, or what? The dew of knowledge and the flesh of truth protected by overlapping slimy scales that are illusion, only to be won by effort wearying to mast-thick limbs wetted by the rain of the pores and to the mind ever-revolving within it schemes of leisure and gain both till at last mortal man, near the end of his three seasons of life, loses strength most vital? He''s not a poet, so he doesn''t have to pretend to asceticism.¡± Neither did Poiskops, to judge by his assault on the soup of clams and garlic before him.


    ¡°Whatever it is he''s eating,¡± one of the guests responded, ¡°he has his bodyguards to feed it to him. Can we say such food is four times as nourishing?¡± The laughs that received sounded other than pure.


    ¡°Maybe so, maybe not. I suppose he''s finding something to do out there on the marshes. I have a plan, though. We''ll see if he won''t show himself in town when the latest is ready.¡±


    ¡°Yes, the addition spoken of in fantastical tales and never by practical men who dig and pluck and never look up, is what again?¡± asked the man with the fullest beard there, which no doubt was a point of pride for him.


    ¡°Oh, that? It''s that, you know. It can''t be anything else but what it is.¡± Poiskops winked theatrically at Dirant. From that he guessed the general topic. The conversation, being conducted entirely in Drastlimez, insisted on running away from him, stopping, looking back to tell him to hurry up, and dashing forward while laughing. Unsure what sort of response was indicated, he leaned back and tried to look smug, something he had been told an unfortunate number of times he did supremely well. The murmurs around the table suggested his goal and his methods met.


    The ordinary recourse of waiting for Onerid or Stansolt to speak instead was not available to him. The former sat with assorted wives and daughters and the latter with the bodyguards. The servant overseeing the placements understood that much simply from looking at him. As for Takki and Ibir, both had been placed among the bodyguards also, one of them correctly.


    The Stadeskosken visitors were later shown not to their rooms but to their houses. ¡°Such is a normal method of providing hospitality on the part of the great in this country,¡± Onerid explained. ¡°Their own domiciles rarely have guest rooms, and so they maintain a variety of residences for the use of guests. All guests, not merely their own. Suppose there is to be a wedding between an artisan of vases and his old master''s daughter. The veteran potter is invited to a meal at some point, for the town''s prominent men get their chance regularly, and while everyone congratulates him, he mentions how many relatives are coming and how busy he is finding accommodations in this season. That gives the big man a chance to display his generosity. These houses therefore see regular use and are not at all a waste.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I''m really glad to hear that. If we were being treated like a smut writer or a pedant the Stanops didn''t want in the main house, I''d probably get to Intermediate in the language with everything I''d want to say about that.¡± Takki flicked her ponytail, a gesture perhaps considered truculent in Pavvu Omme Os. ¡°I do think it''s a little unexpected though. Adabans only care about privacy and then go around inviting people into their homes, but Drastlifars are the opposite.¡±


    ¡°We do not,¡± three Adabans insisted.


    ¡°Privacy and money, then. Oh! Do you let people into your homes so you can go through their possessions? That would explain it, but I would think less of you.¡± Takki''s curiosity had led her for a time to attempt the even comedic delivery the typical young Adaban strove to master, but since meeting Onerid she had reverted to her habit of almost or actually hopping as she chirped out jokes like a bird who overheard a good one in the park while decorating the statue and wanted everyone to know.

 23. An Inquiry Into The Proposition That Superstition Is Caution By Another Name

    The Foolishness Of This Popular Notion Must Presently Stand Exposed


    Koshat, though modest in its extent, possessed enough spare housing to allocate a guest building for each of the visitors, though they might have their bodyguards closer if they wished. Poiskops Bodan-Tin had assured them there was no insult in that, since creatures did from time to time crawl from the salty sea on fin and squirming foot in the hope of adding variety to their diet. Moreover, the locals understood their claims concerning how seldom the monsters of the eastern marshes left their habitat in that season might not win the full confidence of the wary traveler.


    Absolute accord existed between Stansolt and Dirant on that subject. The former did not want witnesses to his nocturnal arrivals or departures and the latter did not want to be a witness. Still less did he wish to be murdered while Stansolt was out as a message from some rival organization. For those reasons, Dirant soon was poking around his solo guest quarters.


    It consisted of a single room divisible by a curtain when the occupier wanted, and that curtain by itself boasted more artistry than most places Dirant had slept possessed. Fully extended, it told a story about a magical well and its results without resorting to words Dirant would not have been able to understand. He may not have understood the picture either. The magic well part was just a guess. It looked nice regardless.


    Aside from that, the single table lacked marble, but its composition of multiple woods laid out to create the impression they had been woven together forced him to wonder what the point of that was, thereby providing intellectual stimulation. It dominated the door-ward two-thirds of the room while the rear third boasted as its primary feature the essential bed. A translucent material shielded it from insects, to their anguish. Beneath all, a single orange rug bore no design, but its thickness allowed the guest to dream about sinking into an orange sea. Beads hung in the sole window.


    Altogether, if some helpful fairy or god offered, Dirant would have accepted the proposal to lift the house from its foundations and haul it all the way to Fennizen where it might replace the floor he rented. Perhaps Onerid Paspaklest''s ambitious project had something to it after all. Dirant was calculating what a room equivalently furnished would cost him back home when a man walked in, and if his panic in reaction to that seemed to justify every remark any foreigner ever made about Adabans and their bizarre standards of privacy, in his defense might be raised the possibility of his being kidnapped and tortured for information.


    ¡°I was requested to step in and find out as a fellow Ritualist if there were any peculiar needs not yet filled, Sajaitin.¡± The Drastlifar smiled in a way that gave it the air of a process as deliberate as the drawing of a ritual design on a bumpy surface after he rushed through that obviously prepared speech. ¡°I am sorry if my visit was unexpected. I myself have trouble imagining what is meant.¡±


    ¡°Ah, it is because Ritualists must eat emeralds and drink lava or else our powers are lost. That is understood by everyone, and we must keep secret what we do with all the blood.¡± Dirant intended the flippancy to be at the expense of laymen and therefore acceptable. Certainly a jab at his visitor would not be, for in addition to not abducting or murdering Dirant, he was a much older man, one who no longer sought anything from the public square if he ever had. His left hand hung onto his gray beard in the manner of someone unsure what to do with his hands, usually a problem which afflicted politicians first out to gain a reputation for oratory. The younger Ritualist dealt with the older by his usual method of asking him to impart some portion of his irreproachable expertise as they both sat themselves at the table. ¡°There is nothing of course. I must ask however, is it proper to address you as Sajaitin, and what does it mean in detail? I presume it refers to Ritualists, and often I am wrong.¡±


    He thought the man did relax a bit. ¡°Proper according to any authority. You may add Igwodan-Tin to it as well, Posmeterin Igwodan-Tin.¡± At last the venerable Ritualist gave the traditional double handshake, though his left hand hesitated to join and subsequently hurried to leave like someone unsure if he was up to seeing socially a woman who rejected his proposal, a circumstance occasionally leading to the advancement of ritualism as a whole, not to mention the culinary field. That done, he addressed the second question. ¡°Windy and indirect as it may sound, when your familiarity with our strange, un-Egillenish Drastlimez increases you will discover sajaitin is, hrm, a moment. It is a person who draws up plans for a building.¡±


    ¡°Ah, an architect, or?¡±


    ¡°I am sure you understand it now. Well, the truth as anyone will tell you is that laymen in Drastlif prefer to have as little to do with rituals as possible. That is why the Stanops sent me here. This whole time you may have been wondering what he had in mind when nothing was there but a sort of awareness of how little he knows.¡±


    ¡°Is some aversion behind it?¡± While Ritualists could be likened to architects, the comparison rested on the shared professionalism of the two groups, no different from bankers, painters, and the makers of conveyances capable of transporting pianos. Posmeterin Igwodan-Tin seemed to be suggesting something more meaningful. Perhaps their profession was viewed in Drastlif as dangerous or even a subject of awe, as Dirant held it ought to be.


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    ¡°Few would say it that way. They think it unlucky, you see, to have expectations, or should I say sureness about how the ritual will go. So they learn nothing about the science, place in crates marked ''For Use by Special Architect'' the items, and before the end of the ritual try not to look at the Ritualist. That person drawing figures on the ground has to be an architect, because who else would do such a thing? You see?¡±


    ¡°It is clear to me now, Sajaitin Igwodan-Tin, and that even though my poor skill forces you to speak in a simple way.¡±


    Posmeterin shooed that away with his non-beard-twiddling hand. ¡°I can hardly speak with any skill as it is. The years of instructing young Ritualists for the Bodan-Tins have ruined me.¡±


    Dirant laughed and offered a foreign perspective. ¡°It is the custom among us for the teachers to ignore the students as much as they can. They find it easy to do so, though I suppose it is different when family has to do with it. Speaking of that family and yours, is that Tin the same, or?¡±


    ¡°Oh yes. We would need an expert to trace all the little lines on the chart, but there is no doubt that the Stanops and I are cousins at a great distance. A few deals go different, and I might be on the Permissive Council today. What a disaster then, if I had to rely on the Bodan-Tins to give us Ritualists.¡± Posmeterin''s laughter could barely be heard, but he shook with it all the same. If only those laymen knew what Ritualists thought of them, surely they would change their behavior and cede power and respect to those who deserved it. With that agreed, shop talk inevitably followed. It was late when Posmeterin Igwodan-Tin left the younger Ritualist.


    ¡°And when may I expect my emerald and my lava?¡± Dirant wondered as he prepared himself for sleep. He preferred that to wondering if he would wake up in a rival company''s torture chamber, no doubt outfitted with the finest equipment.


    Dirant arose before the lazy Drastlif sun, but nevertheless a small repast had already been placed on the table. That brought back certain ideas about kidnappings he had managed to suppress before, but as he no longer needed to sleep, there was no harm in that. Still, it disturbed him to contemplate such casual comings and goings in his bedroom, even if a curtain separated the dining area from the helpless Ritualist area.


    He set out in good cheer even so because he had objectives for the day; a commercial Ritualist often lacked such clear purpose. A rendezvous with Onerid came first, and then a meeting with the client. He found her just outside her assigned quarters. She was engaged in a serious controversy with Millim Takki Atsa, who was saying, ¡°But then how are we supposed to know who delivered it?¡±


    ¡°Is there a need to, my girl?¡±


    ¡°People like to be thanked.¡±


    ¡°Ah, that is so, but here the employer prefers to retain that privilege.¡± Onerid swept her fan around to indicate not just Koshat Dreivis, but the entirety of Drastlif. The action diverted attention from her yawning into her glove.


    Takki must have noticed, but rousing a person or two before dawn meant nothing to her. ¡°I know two isn''t better than one in everything, but in gratitude I think it has to be. Oh, Ressi. Good morning. What do you think about phantom breakfasts?¡±


    Dirant was not alone in the world after all, though his reasoning for disliking the practice lived on a different continent from hers. That was true of the excuse he overheard, and even more of what he suspected her actual discontent to be. He decided on a pointed implication. ¡°It makes the questioning of servants more difficult, and furthermore may delay discovery of the inmate''s disappearance or murder if a conscientious employee refrains from peeking through the curtain.¡±


    ¡°I knew you''d understand. I want to throw on top of that how unnerving it can be for more private people.¡± Rather than being wounded by the point, Takki took it as an invitation to form an alliance.


    ¡°You have it exactly.¡±


    Onerid sighed, but then cut it off in the self-conscious manner of someone attempting to shed an unsightly habit. ¡°All right, we will all agree the practice must be abolished. Mr. Dirant, will you do me the favor of dragging me to the Stanops''s home? Please forget I said anything of the sort, for I realized a Ritualist cannot be assigned a hand''s duties.¡±


    ¡°Ah, has company policy at last been changed? I must begin a petition to revert it. The occasional piano is not too heavy when weighed against paperwork. A single sheet may be light, but when the number is infinite, what consolation is that? It is only the spectacle of the thing which prevents me from conveying you bodily to take care of that untuned instrument in the orchestra.¡±


    ¡°Oh! Is that a saying?¡± Takki spun a full revolution, and if her vivacity so early in the morning nearly sent Onerid back to bed rather than invigorating her, that only proved a deeper sympathy was yet possible.


    ¡°It is. The spirit of the thing is that there is a matter which requires attention before a greater work may commence. The relevance is that I am yet unsure where to do the job.¡±


    Onerid looked at her door with the air of a town''s leading citizen, now aged, sitting on the porch of an evening and remembering those days climbing the apple tree on the family estate that seemed so tall then, its branches so wide. ¡°Yes. I had better get started. Finding the person with whom we must negotiate often requires a shocking amount of time, particularly in cases of this sort when the customer is a widower. The relevant female relative must be found and inquires must be discreet. There''s no good in your coming along for this part, Mr. Dirant, but will you act as my bodyguard again, Takki?¡±


    ¡°We both know that isn''t really a question, my girl.¡±


    Onerid and Takki walked off, leaving Dirant nothing to do but wait for their return or at least for Stansolt and Ibir to rouse themselves, lonely as a design with no Ritualist to recite the proper invocation.

 24. Clarification Of A Contracts Details

    And How To Avoid It While Maintaining Plausibility


    ¡°There''s no one!¡± The park bench demonstrated its admirable firmness of construction when it withstood Onerid''s ferocious sitting. ¡°Sisters, daughters-in-law, nieces, nothing. I should have researched if the Bodan-Tins spring from a magic rock in the cellar. Not even a hired social coordinator or domestic specialist as is sometimes done.¡±


    ¡°The chief dealt with us yesterday. Are we in dangerous straits if that continues?¡± Stansolt sounded like an ambassador of serenity and contentment, almost as if he did not much care about the negotiations.


    Onerid cared a great deal, but she did calm down. ¡°I won''t say that, but there may be some maneuver underway we cannot possibly understand from our position. Or the Stanops simply doesn''t care for the usual thing, which is his right, but is awkward for us. My brother should have come instead. For me to negotiate with a man is unseemly, despite simple translation being respectable enough, and so Mr. Dirant must do it, but while we might develop some system of suggestions using taps and gestures, every Drastlifar would conclude we are engaged or ought to become so to prevent scandal.¡±


    ¡°I really think you shouldn''t do that,¡± Takki advised.


    ¡°The impression I had from Sajaitin Igwodan-Tin is that anything I say in my capacity as a Ritualist is likely to be trusted without evidence.¡± Dirant tried to look honest despite often being told how badly he fared in that. ¡°I say nothing about deceit of course. There is that, and beyond it I wonder what negotiations there are to carry out. Is the matter not settled already?¡±


    Onerid tapped his arm with her fan, which in Adaban society implied nothing matrimonial. ¡°You may not know, but Drastlifars consider themselves sharp as a rule, and oligarchs are acknowledged to be the sharpest. They like to try slipping in some tricky provision to preserve their image regardless of whether it gets them much. Ah, the earth is already dug, I suppose. Do you at least have some negotiating experience or ability?¡±


    ¡°I possess Mercantile Fundamentals.¡±


    ¡°It is better than I hoped,¡± Onerid admitted.


    That was the least of his credentials, but because his modesty prevented saying so, another person was forced to correct the record about his practical experience. ¡°He received the capitulation of the city of Wessolp in the Engagement War too, and a mayor is kind of like an oligarch.¡±


    Onerid observed Takki''s twinkling eyes and reached a conclusion. ¡°That''s a strange joke, so there must be some reference I don''t understand. Will you tell me?¡±


    Takki laughed outright at that. ¡°Of course. The reference is to something that actually happened and I''m going to tell you about it right now.¡± And so she did.


    When she finished, Onerid and Ibir viewed Dirant with a new respect, or a new something in any case. ¡°That sort of bluffing should do well enough, Mr. Dirant,¡± the former decided. ¡°If we need an interruption, the sign will be that I pretend to trip.¡±


    ¡°I see. And if you trip in fact?¡±


    ¡°Please break off negotiations and assist me in that case as well.¡±


    ¡°You shouldn''t have to be told that, Ressi.¡± Takki scolded him and scowled a bit as well. Stansolt, for his part, grinned.


    ¡°Certainly I hope not to shame the reputation of the GE as far as gentle manners,¡± Dirant said without snorting, rolling his eyes, or emphasizing certain words for dramatic effect. That deserved a full level by itself in his judgment, but the universe demurred. ¡°And after that, what is the sign? Our bargaining position must be diminished more by constant pratfalls appropriate for comedic theater and nowhere else than by my commercial clumsiness.¡±


    ¡°Ah. Yes.¡± Onerid considered. ¡°Suppose I pause in my translation and mention thirst. The Stanops will likely call for a hiatus himself, since thirst is a common complaint in this country. In fact, forget the tripping altogether.¡±


    With that established, Onerid proceeded to go over the details of Stadeskosken''s policies with regard to rituals performed as a contractor and peculiarities arising from the licensing agreement under which the Popcorn Regularization Ritual was made available for use. From that Dirant concluded that, unlike what he had concluded in the case of Branch Manager Hadolt Herafoken, knowledge of the identity of the Ritualists involved had not reached her. Hearing an outsider''s view often supplied insights otherwise overlooked according to several platitudes, and so Dirant listened attentively.


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    ¡°It''s all very ridiculous, but these things usually are when people who know they lack business sense let their lawyers do all their thinking,¡± Onerid concluded. So much for that.


    A friend of Poiskops Bodan-Tin arrived to relay that extraordinary man''s desire to see them all at tea, after which he and Mr. Dirant should be wet enough for an important discussion.


    Though the affair seemed only a prelude to the Adabans, the attending Drastlifars enjoyed their cool noon tea for its own pleasures. They milled around rather than sitting as they did at meals, ¡°Because sitting for tea is unlucky,¡± one Drastlifar explained, while another identified the custom as a regional marker and a third relied on Doctor Petarun Bavan-Ston''s authoritative declarations about the seated position being bad for digestion. Why the same did not apply to other meals, the guest was unable to clarify.


    Drastlifars objected to calling tea a meal, but certainly food had been laid out. There was a great deal of fruit wrapped in something else, whether lettuce, flatbread, rice, or foodstuffs unimaginable to Adabans. Except for the cornbread, which they understood intimately.


    The Stanops had invited fewer guests than for dinner, few enough that the Stadeskosken crew constituted almost a quarter of them. The commander of the swift boat was there as well as a man Dirant had seen checking pipes in town during the wait for Onerid to fail in her search for the lady in charge. The master of Koshat Dreivis evidently did rotate through everyone in town.


    The lucky group that day got to be gathered up by Poiskops Bodan-Tin partway through to hear an announcement it pleased him to make. He smiled with as many teeth as any man ever had and reported in his hoarse voice raised just a little that one of his nephews, a simple lad not suited for city life, had sent to say would arrive tomorrow barring the contrary intentions of the gods. The uncle''s evident joy told how much less frequent such incidents were than he would have liked. Dirant wanted to blame the other Bodan-Tins for their poor conduct, but justice prevented him. As much as the wrestling clock seized his imagination, seeing it did not persuade him to spend his entire life there. A relative more familiar with it must be correspondingly less impressed. Add in the monsters of sea and swamp, and surely the occasional letter sufficed to maintain familial bonds.


    Once the Stanops finished his tea, indicated by his sitting down at last, the guests aside from Dirant and Onerid dismissed themselves without a word from him. Poiskops popped right back up to signal the transition from post-tea to business. ¡°Walk with me and I''ll show you the gazebo, and whether it is placed well for the purpose is a guess easily corrected if wrong.¡± He began to walk out of the courtyard but halted. ¡°There is one point better discussed here, surrounded as we are by walls short rather than tall.¡±


    Onerid gave Dirant as arch a look as she could, which was not detestable. Both prepared themselves for the complication.


    ¡°My Dreivis deserves the latest. I hired your company for no reason farther or nearer but right there. That''s the focus of my desire true, but a reason there is to rush into what otherwise might be considered longer. Certain prominent people rich in influence decided to meet and talk and make much of it, and because the honor of hosting it has fallen to me, you would be rescuing me from the very pit of thorns if you finished the installation before then, and you would lift me up to the seats of the gods if you stayed on through the conference to ensure, if you see, all kinds of things can happen, on so forth, when those of your profession, yes.¡±


    Dirant knew exactly what he meant, and it fed the bottomless pride of the Ritualist, but there was anxiety in there too. Already he began building a case against their supposed chief negotiator for lacking the foresight to concoct an excuse for a delay if the oligarch wanted the job done in two hours or such. Yet for all that he had to face what he must. ¡°I understand, and so what are the key points of the schedule?¡±


    ¡°Unless travel plans go awry, the parties will arrive in four days and begin on the fifth an occurrence of historical magnitude that many would gladly attend if they had to pay.¡± Poiskops held up fingers as he went, which helped Dirant make his plans even before the translation came in. ¡°The future regions like not to be guessed at, but I expect the matter to be concluded within another five days at most, more likely three, and if we can keep from offending the magnanimous gods, one alone.¡±


    The anxiety crept away, all the while pretending it had dropped by for one of those pear wraps instead of seeking someone to afflict. ¡°The first matter, that is to say installation before the day given, can be done.¡± Dirant refrained from saying a far harder task would be to waste that much time before completing the ritual, since the Drastlifars supposedly preferred not to hear that sort of detail. ¡°The second is more doubtful because of the whimsical, unproductive nature of the future as you yourself elucidated, Stanops. The length of time personnel may be committed to any project varies according to considerations such as the priority of the task and the other demands upon resources.¡±


    ¡°That''s clear enough. Let us give the sun the honor of guiding us thither and not the silver lamps of night.¡± At last the three began their walk toward the proposed ritual site, a few minutes away as the gull glides but an hour when negotiations are implicated. ¡°We run our own mail boat here. Rely on us to communicate with your office if necessary.¡±


    ¡°In that case, Stanops, Sajaitin.¡± Onerid floated away to write up a report.


    Those two continued through the town where Dirant noticed the ring which moved around them. Men, women, and children comprised it, all of them eager to assist the oligarch at the slightest sign of need. That reserve of manpower maintained a distance so as not to overhear a conversation conducted at a reasonable volume, showing the oligarch the same deference city folk gave rowdies. Perhaps there was a lesson about power and authority in that.

 25. The Nature Of Spontaneous Additions

    They Are Rarely Spontaneous And Invariably Detractions


    The crowd almost converged when Poiskops Bodan-Tin gasped, but his action was recognized as a theatrical gesture before anything regrettable occurred. ¡°Oh, why must age and memory be enemies? They have so much to offer each other. I should have thought of this while Deuani Paspaklest''s daughter was still here so we could have her opinion, if we could entice her to give it. You know, Sajaitin, I love my country almost as much as I love my town. That''s why I want to see it improved. Forgive me, Drastlifars, if I say Greater Enloffenkir might have outdone us in a few, a precious few areas. Men''s business, women''s business, what a proliferation! It''s all business. Don''t you think it''s exactly that way?¡±


    Fortunately for Dirant, Mercantile Fundamentals did not have any alarms attached to it, or else he, the oligarch, and everyone within a mile of Koshat Dreivis would have been deafened by frenzied clanging. As it was, the ability warned its possessor alone of an imminent bilking attempt. He ran through an inventory of his three finest allies: Mercantile Fundamentals itself, the local deference given to Ritualists in certain matters, and his merely Basic proficiency in Drastlimez, which was ready to have its limitations exaggerated the moment he decided on a complete shutdown of negotiations. ¡°It is so, and the evidence is that my salary is lost regardless of the cost''s type.¡±


    ¡°I have the same problem. We all do, and the text says money is money whatever form it''s in, but everyone refuses to accept the implications. They''ll take miskhanenar and ipapobar as readily as our own coins because they understand it when it suits them, but the principle, that isn''t held to at all. Labor and money are the same also, if words mean anything, and therefore labor is labor, absent any restriction. Now, trade secrets are inviolable, and I''ve given instructions to keep people away while the installation is done. Your ready agreement to the timeline is heartening. But then, as you said, delaying you here is unreasonable.¡±


    Dirant made out that last part despite getting a bit lost in the middle, though he recalled saying something slightly different from that. While mulling over whether he ought to insist upon the point, he lost his chance.


    ¡°What would go wrong if Sajaitin Igwodan-Tin alone were responsible for operations during the upcoming get-together? I believe he and you have become acquainted. He''s been our overseer as far as your profession for a long, long time. Sometimes I worry it''s been too long, but how could I judge?¡± Poiskops lowered his voice. ¡°This has nothing to do with anything, but what was your impression of his capability?¡±


    The gambit was not so irresistible as Dirant''s Mercantile Fundamentals had feared. Just as Onerid''s earlier analysis suggested, Stanops Bodan-Tin by his nature sought advantage in something as trivial as popcorn, and that was the extent of it. Dirant was to express full confidence in Posmeterin Igwodan-Tin out of professional courtesy and by doing so deprive himself of his best excuse not to instruct the Bodan-Tin''s Ritualist in the maintenance procedures if not the ritual itself. Possibly a contribution to Dirant''s personal treasury might remove any other reservations he expressed, particularly after his mention of the impositions made on his salary. Then the Bodan-Tins would suggest to other parties that if they had Stadeskosken handle the initial setup, their own Ritualists would be available to handle maintenance and, possibly, corn. It was a minor sideline, but money was money, and Poiskops must have been confident his people would figure out the ritual with that much access.


    What the oligarch did not know was that the only maintenance required by the popcorn stand consisted of two components: a sign that read, ¡°Don''t Break the Box,¡± and literate people of a conscientious disposition. Failing a prevention of accidents, the ritual itself must be reapplied; there existed no auxiliary repair ritual to teach Sajaitin Igwodan-Tin. There was no profit there.


    Dirant did not want to tell him even that much about the ritual. Necessity might demand it, but first he attempted evasion. ¡°Sajaitin Igwodan-Tin is doubtless an accomplished Ritualist too burdened already with the responsibilities of his position for anyone to impose upon him the chance of incurring a violation of a license agreement,¡± Dirant could not possibly say in Drastlimez. He adjusted as well as he could. ¡°I don''t want to make Sajaitin Igwodan-Tin the enemy of the other group in the agreement about the ritual.¡±


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    ¡°Just that little bit might be enough?¡± The Stanops may or may not have been feigning surprise. ¡°Which part exactly would cause the breach?¡±


    Dirant was definitely feigning chagrin. ¡°To reveal that is also not allowed.¡±


    ¡°Really! You do things with iron up there, just as the poet said.¡± Poiskops shrugged and chuckled. ¡°I suppose there''s no way to find out who these other parties are. Your company can''t want anyone to reach a separate agreement.¡±


    ¡°Ah, there is no problem there. Two . . . sajaitins . . . are involved. The bigger is Donnlink Espahalpt. The smaller is Dirant Rikelta.¡±


    When the Stanops stopped as suddenly as a storm can start at sea, the crowd began to close in. He waved them back. ¡°I can''t say which answer would surprise me more, but is that Sajaitin Rikelta the same young man in marsh-won Dreivis this very moment?¡±


    ¡°The answer is both yes and no for legal purposes.¡±


    Poiskops resumed walking and laughed as he went. ¡°Adabans are supposed to be straightforward in all their dealings. Everyone says so, and it''s a way to measure ourselves and make sure we''re ahead. Do we have to give up our questionable practices now, beaten? I''m too old for that.¡±


    They soon, and would have much sooner if not for the obligatory finagling attempt, reached the spot, a small pavilion in a corner of the clock park covered by a narrow but tall conical roof which violated good Adaban sense by not having a spire jut from it higher still. An iron railing shaped into a parade of drummers and flautists around most of its circumference permitted breezes and pleasant sights to pass through and enchant anyone who relaxed there. In the center was an enclosure accessible through a single door and a counter under a window into it ideal for commercial transactions. ¡°I want it here,¡± Poiskops said as he rapped on the counter and pointed through the window. There was a shelf on one side, out of the non-snooping customer''s sight. ¡°Is that enough room? We can add in anything necessary, but what I need to know is if we have to have remodeling done.¡±


    Dirant checked, more to assure the client he was paying attention than because he had any doubt. ¡°The dimensions are sufficient, Stanops. There are other conditions I must investigate before I begin.¡±


    ¡°Sajaitin Igwodan-Tin said something about interference, and that was my warning not to interfere myself. You may give a message to anyone on that bench if there is a problem.¡± He pointed to it, and already someone Dirant recognized as a guest at the previous night''s dinner occupied the spot. ¡°All those sad words about parting might apply to us if we stay together one more minute, Sajaitin, and so I go. Well, after one last question. Were you joking before about our earlier subject in any respect?¡±


    ¡°No, sir.¡±


    ¡°That means an entity, forgive me, Sajaitin. A person other than Stadeskosken can enter negotiations?¡±


    ¡°Yes. Our lawyers insisted on it. The details are very complex and I cannot remember them. Do you wish to have the address of the lawyers, Stanops?¡±


    <blockquote>


    Ability Negotiating Fundamentals Gained


    +1 Bonus to Sticktoitiveness Gained


    </blockquote>


    Dirant''s status believed the negotiation period to have ended, and Poiskops Bodan-Tin concurred. ¡°Not for me is that signal proud to be hoisted, but if you had it ready for when my nephew arrives, it might result in something for both of you. Good luck, Sajaitin.¡± With that enigmatic statement, he left Dirant to his work.


    Fetching his bag was perhaps not what anyone would think of first if asked what Ritualists did, but experts considered it essential regardless. From it Dirant extracted the broom with which he swept the area, and next the sacred broom with which he also swept the area, this time to remove the potential influence of certain monstrous abilities. His professors at Todelk University would have offered a few criticisms of the term ¡°sacred¡± if invited to comment, but the framework which held a Ritualist''s implements to be anything other than symbols of the gods no longer impressed him.


    He saw nothing recognizable as an existing ritual either to him or his Ritual Judgment in the closet, the gazebo, or anywhere near enough to matter. The professional, however, did not rely on a casual examination. He opened a pouch of soot, labeled ¡°Soot,¡± into which he dipped a finger to make sure it contained soot. Such was the thoroughness of a Todelk-trained Ritualist, a product of the sixth-most-prestigious school of ritualism in Greater Enloffenkir. He dumped a bit on the floor and spread it around to see if it would stick to any lines of ritualistic import made difficult to see either by time or artifice. Methods which produced disguised designs had become common in recent years as Ritualists moved toward an aesthetic of extreme efficiency which held that the best work was the least noticed, and also as they tried to make money off licensing agreements. Dirant intended to use some of those faded lines himself. The soot however moved without impediment. He swept that out as well.


    Another pouch held silver shavings to detect those premium rituals that would never be seen in a sooty part of town. Those he rolled around the floor with greater care and picked back up when they stuck to nothing. Even an Adaban can run out of silver, as the saying went among Riks, Ottkirs, and Mabonns, though less among Adabans. The thought unnerved them. Afterward he employed the sacred broom again in case the silver had entrapped some monstrous power such as the detection fields of the eyeless toklestlikir.

 26. Notes On An Authentic Ritual

    The Keenest Disappointment I Have Felt In My Travels Came When At Last I Was Permitted To View A Traditional Ritual Of The . . .


    That took care of the head phase of preparing the ground, that is, determining if someone else had already done so. Dirant proceeded to the belly phase wherein he actually prepared the ground, an operation of little complexity outside of remembering the ground in this case was a shelf. He measured and marked off with talc the square in which he intended to set the base portion of the design. That was all. And Ritualists demanded money for such services.


    Though the imagined reactions of their employers upon learning what they did all day amused them, Ritualists could hardly deny that they had by centuries of persistence and genius refined their profession to such an advanced state that most rituals demanded little from them aside from a reference to their Ritual Memory and a certain word in the class portion of their status. The Popcorn Regularization Ritual lay outside that ¡°most,¡± but not because of the difficulty of wrestling reality into the desired shape, the strain placed on the Ritualist''s mind by the myriad elements he must balance, or the anti-social pressure of secrecy owing to legal complications. The three-dimensional design caused the problem.


    ¡°An unfortunate occurrence,¡± Dirant might have muttered if he comported himself as a gentlemen ought even when alone and working on a troublesome task. Regardless of the actual words used, he felt the sentiment deeply as he grabbed a cloth to wipe off that line and, he hoped, nothing else. Oops. There it went. He said a few more words which failed to adhere to the standards of restraint and taste one hoped to hear from a university graduate but seldom did.


    The design for the popcorn ritual began on a flat surface. Later a heating apparatus would be placed there. The design then extended up along the inner side of the box, down again, then up again, and so on. A great deal of the time spent in development had to do with Donnlink and Dirant''s aversion to those continuous lines and their efforts to exclude them, all with no happy result. The Ritualist had to tip over the box, work his little brush dipped in a mixture of esoteric substances including burnt popcorn ground into a powder inside, paint, and bring the brush back out, all while keeping the lines reasonably straight. Those lectures about failed efforts by past Ritualists to involve Colorists in the process had puzzled him in Todelk, but his participation in the development process gave him a far better understanding.


    At least Donnlink had managed to produce a Compound ritual, meaning it consisted of several distinct designs which could be completed piece by piece. It was also Fifth Course Third Accent, which indicated a generally triangular set of lines except for flares here and there disconnected from the main bodies. If not for the relative simplicity of the layout, the two inventors might still have been working on the prototype and taking art classes under the bored eye of an underemployed portraitist. The extra bits would be made with a special, harder-to-see preparation; trying to conceal the whole thing would only make a ritual thief more alert.


    A simple design meant a possible design, students liked to say, but not an easy one, as the professors liked to remind them. Hunched over, shifting from side to side as he tried to reposition his shadow, and squinting hard enough to make a mother warn her children not to make faces like that, Dirant felt worse than he ever had when helping to move a piano. Heat built up inside his stomach. He dropped his brush and walked a circuit around the enclosure after each mistake or rare success. His self-conception as a professional capable of prompt work confronted the slack deadline allotted by the customer, and only the memories of having accomplished this before allowed the former to throw temptation back. Those memories, he reflected during one of his breaks, never included the discomfort he endured every time, which proved how trivial setbacks appeared when set against triumph.


    The box itself seemed enormous when stuffed in a pack, tiny when he was drawing, and equal to the planet when he checked how much more had to be done. Ignoring the size, he appreciated it as a work of engineering which neglected neither function nor aesthetics. The glossy white exterior adorned by a noble otter insisted that popcorn must not be hidden behind a plain, dark curtain. As for the material used, he had no idea.


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    The premium box differed from its common cousins in two ways, the first by having a sliding slab which joined or interrupted the ritual design depending on its position instead of a simple lid, and the second because of the extra openings. There was a slot which accommodated a grating on which a popcorn container might rest after being inserted through a swinging door on the side. Stadeskosken personnel came up with it, and it was that element of the popcorn stand which no Bodan-Tin or anyone else could acquire from a deal with Donnlink and Dirant.


    For all his driving pride and his admiration of the clever otter box, the perspiration poured down and forced him to pause his work over an hour after he started. To avoid insulting his host by looking for what he needed himself, Dirant decided to ask the guy on the bench. What did that Drastlifar of the ordinary type think when he saw a Ritualist stumble toward him, hair flattened by sticky sweat, eyes narrowed as if light itself harmed them, and his mouth half-open before he gasped, ¡°Eizesl, is there water I may have?¡± Nobody in the modern era believed that demons grabbed at the shins of Ritualists while they drew their pictures and chanted with the aim of dragging them to worse realms, but sometimes one questioned.


    ¡°Sit here, Sajaitin. Everything will be done if I have a voice.¡± The oligarch''s friend dashed away at a speed that must have earned him admiration in the local sports scene. He came back with a jug of water, a bowl also for any dirty faces he would never imply the Ritualist to be near, a towel for immediate use, and a second towel for later deployment. Even if Dirant''s disordered mind had thought to consider asking for such things, the courteous part of it would have regarded the request as too much of an imposition. His expression of gratitude therefore conveyed enough sincerity as to overcome the weakness of his facility with the local language.


    He returned to work renewed and capable of the highest accomplishments, and that feeling lasted for almost three minutes before he reached for the erasing cloth again. Nevertheless, Dirant persisted and finished the design. A simple summary, and so he would remember it.


    The remainder of the process had nothing in it of a nature other than rote. He drew out various implements to make varied gestures, poured powders either on the lines or in the gaps between, and all the while conducted a long chant in the Adaban mode. The term did not refer to his native language (though it was in that) but rather to any invocation formed from intelligible words. Sometimes the phrases those words formed ended up being nonsense, but the same held for most speech.


    Suppose someone reads a letter, finds the contents objectionable, crumples it up, and tosses it in the trash. Suppose further that the intended recipient comes into the room, deals with his correspondence, reviews his investments, and tidies his desk. When he stands and stretches, the act tips over the can, at which point he finds the letter, smooths it out, and only then discovers his bid succeeded over his rival''s. Dirant''s gut felt like that paper, and he the winning bidder. Such was the signal from his Ritual Judgment informing him he had just performed an authentic ritual, a miracle requested and granted. A few hours of work for months, or if careful years of more consistent popping was indeed a miracle worthy of a god such as his. ¡°Rejoice, rejoice,¡± Dirant uttered to acknowledge the completion. After packing up his tools and a final round of broom-work, he left the pavilion.


    The fellow on the bench when the Ritualist walked over had evidently communicated with the one he replaced, since he looked on Dirant with a mixture of concern, worry, and anxiety. A straightforward mixture, but one with kind intentions behind it. ¡°Are you sure you aren''t working too hard, Sajaitin? On whatever it is you were doing.¡±


    Though a habitual urge to tease the layman rose in him, Dirant did not feel it strongly. His mood could not fail to be light after a successful ritual, and the lickspittle''s vagueness likely came from cultural circumspection and not a veiled accusation of slacking off such as a manager might make. If anything, the man was showing heroic restraint, since he surely wished to shake good news out of the sajaitin he could report to the Stanops and subsequently bathe in that great man''s approval. Why not oblige him? ¡°I worked exactly hard enough to do everything which may be done today. Tomorrow morning I must return to it.¡±


    ¡°Congratulations, Sajaitin. Several poets have held the best days are those when from fruitful labor sweet juice is squeezed, and I may even be able to name a few of them if I think hard. But what if I did, when you are off to prove them right or wrong? May you have a day not so far from paradise.¡±


    ¡°I would be happier if yours were closer still, Eizesl.¡± With that formula Dirant had picked up they parted, the local with enough spirit in his step to convince anyone his hope for good tidings to report to Poiskops Bodan-Tin was fulfilled, and the foreigner to stash his stuff in his room.

 27. A Tour Of The Countryside

    There Exist Activities Which, Completed A Single Time, Suffice For One''s Entire Life


    In the evening, after another dinner at the Stanops''s residence, Millim Takki Atsa brought up a mysterious phenomenon. ¡°Why doesn''t anyone want to name buildings here? It''s so much more convenient. We name every one of them, and even Adabans do for special ones, but here even a member of the Permissive Council lives in ''Poiskops Bodan-Tin''s house.''¡±


    ¡°The unlabeled streets vex me more,¡± Dirant said. ¡°So many times in Dubwasef I was told such a place is about so far ahead, you can''t miss it. Yet I did, and not through any great effort.¡±


    ¡°They weren''t prepared for the poor perception of distance of the landlocked Adaban,¡± Onerid suggested. Where her criticisms of the complaining Jalpi Peffu were, Dirant could but theorize.


    Frustration with urban life in Drastlif led the visitors to decide on a joint campaign of a stroll outside the walls. Even Stansolt joined despite the low chance of finding secret warship plans out there. Ibir Doteniksta proposed the outing. She and Takki shared a dissatisfaction because of the limited martial drills possible inside their one-room houses, but they differed in that the latter felt free to carry them out in the park or anywhere else she happened to be, regardless of the stares of passersby or the occasional crowd of spectators and imitators. The latter hoped to find a more secluded training ground.


    The group chose to head east. ¡°We don''t want to run into any sea monsters, do we? That would be irresponsible until your ritual is finished, Ressi.¡±


    ¡°And does something change when it is completed?¡± Dirant asked.


    ¡°Shouldn''t you worry about maximizing customer satisfaction when that happens? If I knew sea monsters were around, I think I would have a hard time enjoying any kind of treat.¡±


    Onerid tried to explain company policy to Takki. ¡°While I agree as a general principle that more people should be subjected to monster attacks, many of them our employees, Stadeskosken isn''t in the business of monster removal.¡±


    ¡°Oh, really? I was under the impression you did everything that you might get paid to do.¡±


    ¡°Such is the ambition,¡± Onerid admitted, ¡°but there are sometimes other considerations that we have to consider. For instance, the pride of state militaries and condottieri may be wounded when others engage in warlike conduct, and a wounded animal lashes out.¡±


    ¡°That''s never stopped me,¡± Takki asserted. ¡°But I''m a Battler, so I understand there''s a difference there.¡±


    None of the elegance of the road between the pier and the town existed in that direction; guests, boats, and guests arriving by boat had priority in Drastlif. Regular citizens got regular roads that wound around fenced-off fields and practical buildings along the most level routes available, regardless of where the turns directed the traveler''s eye.


    As for a road to the marshes, there was none. Anyone willing to traverse them could handle an unaided jaunt over the country. The last sign of civilization before the wilds was a gate surmounted by a wood carving which represented a battle between Drastlifars before they were Drastlifars. The morass had not always been quite so expansive, partly on account of geographical changes but mostly because Swadvanchdeu neglected the region when it held it. Long ago, in the era of the Survyaian empires, the armies of the several Drastlinez states often met there.


    The issue of how many resources ought to be dedicated in an effort to drain the wetlands elicited strong opinions among the financially minded, but the historically oriented cared only for the remains of ancient battles and settlements preserved among the pools. Visitors to Koshat Dreivis not there to beseech the Bodan-Tins for some favor mostly wanted to poke around and find an old helmet or a coin bearing a likeness not seen in centuries. More recently, in an age when the balance of power between humans and monsters tipped more toward the former every day, the growing interest in exploiting strange creatures instead of killing them led researchers to seek out the many peculiar varieties found in less-trafficked environments such as that.


    ¡°As soon as you say ''poison breath,'' some medical theorist thinks, ''What can that cure?'' I don''t say they''re wrong by any means.¡± So Stansolt said, and if the poison part applied to his own interests without any need for the cure part, he gave no sign of it.


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    ¡°Oh, I''ve heard about that,¡± Takki said. ¡°The marsh king, you mean? People used to think they had just painted a lion wrong in the pictures. There aren''t any lions or marsh kings in Pavvu Omme Os, after all. I''d like to see one, but we probably shouldn''t get close enough for that today.¡±


    For all that some of her suggestions seemed to lack something as far as consideration for the value of human life, her actions had care and attention to them. Long before reaching the line of trees that served as a final warning for tourists who had missed the significance of the gate to nowhere, the shaft of Takki''s halberd was tapping the ground all about to find sucking ground harder to detect than the inundated land of the marshes proper while her keen eyes and Battler Discernment watched over the darkening terrain for any of those marsh kings, or failing that, for more boring monsters seen elsewhere. Stansolt Gaomat did the same with a staff in place of a halberd. Ibir may not have possessed Discernment sufficient to qualify as a Battler, though perhaps she did, but she made use of a sense the others perhaps overlooked by means of frequent sniffs.


    ¡°This town must export scent in addition to tea,¡± she said, and Onerid confirmed perfumes to be a segment of the Bodan-Tin portfolio. Her research for the assignment turned that up, but as for a use for the knowledge, is it not a joy to learn?


    The group reached the strip of trees where Onerid began to experience the limitations of a dress meant for use inside city limits exclusively. When she tripped, Dirant assisted her as promised and asked to receive negotiation instructions.


    ¡°Ah, I really just tripped, Mr. Dirant.¡± She laughed.


    ¡°Is that the truth, or does the presence of that outsider on the other side cause wariness over our secrets?¡±


    ¡°It probably should, since I don''t believe in keeping secrets forever,¡± Takki warned. Dirant let her take care of trying to free Onerid from the roots which insisted on making friends with her feet and looked out over the marshes. If he ever wanted to wash an icon of Mitistiggefokand, the guide through the mazes of law, he knew where to go. The countless shallow pools looked to hold more water than the Ontoffemmiror River itself in all its charming breadth. Orange under the relaxing sun, they and the high green patches created patterns some Drastlifar out there probably had on his shield.


    ¡°What is orange in the nomenclature of heraldry?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Tenn¨¦ has some orange to it, though it is brown primarily. Thank you, Takki.¡± Onerid resumed looking down after a glance at the spectacle. The souls of some belonged to the wilds, others to the farms and orchards, and Onerid''s to towns and cities where she never stumbled.


    Ritualists were much the same. None of the eels or whatever lived there needed any foodstuffs preserved for a later month or struggled to keep a home mold-free. Dirant treated the sprawling land of green growth and greener pools after the fashion of an artifact of a vanished civilization, as something to be seen through glass. He had no wish to take another step even before he heard the howls.


    ¡°Do you think they''re preparing to hunt after waking up or warning rivals away from their prey?¡± Takki asked. ¡°I''d like to find out if any of those is a marsh king, but we really can''t go any deeper.¡± Her opinion won Dirant''s approval, though he could not agree with the sentiment of regret behind it.


    ¡°Perhaps that gentleman and his associates know,¡± Stansolt said.


    ¡°Yeah, since they''re coming back now. I didn''t want to interrupt them before.¡±


    Onerid looked up then, Ibir stopped sniffing, and Dirant withdrew from his reflections on the awfulness of nature. They looked and looked and still they saw no one.


    ¡°I see no one,¡± Dirant said, willing on account of his undeniable professional success to be the stupid one for the rest of the day.


    ¡°I also.¡± As was common among Myrmidons, though only going by certain theories about a ¡°class spirit¡±put forward primarily by Millim Takki Atsa, Ibir refused to accept the sacrifice of a comrade.


    ¡°The same.¡± The case for Onerid''s being a Myrmidon became stronger. Takki had probably already solved it by asking her. Dirant had in all likelihood established a cordial enough relationship to do the same, but gathering clues entertained him more than knowing the truth ever would. Next he would guess Poiskops Bodan-Tin''s class. Administrator? That sounded appropriate.


    ¡°Really? Right over there. Those three shrubs.¡± Takki pointed toward the marsh. Her gesture and words combined to give no help whatsoever. Within that mass of greenery, to pick out three shrubs and to identify a single grain of sand seemed the same task. ¡°The mobile ones.¡± The three watched the soft wind rustle reeds beyond number, to say nothing of the ripples caused by birds with exotic beaks plucking out their dinner, and they shook their heads. ¡°They move like people.¡± Onerid shrugged. ¡°Well, I don''t know what I can do to make you see them. Oh, they''re turning away now. That''s a shame.¡±


    Onerid expressed the doubt already evident in her furrowed brow. ¡°Is this some kind of Battler humor, or?¡±


    ¡°I was going to ask the same about Adabans. You really can''t see them? Is Sivoslof really a better country? Oh, that might be a marsh king.¡±


    Takki''s surmise startled Dirant until he realized she referred to the cries over the marsh. That was fine. A distance too far for vision, too far for enmity, as the classic novel had it, suited his ideas about the proper relationship between monster and Ritualist, though he liked even more when Onerid suggested returning to town.

 28. The Spirit Of The Academic

    Nobility, Wisdom, Generosity, Humility, And Courage In Perfect Proportion


    There the party dispersed, for the most part. Takki wanted to patrol for traces of trouble. Onerid and Ibir refused to consider that there might be any, while Stansolt avoided the subject in order to escape either lying on the one side or on the other admitting he would be causing some of that trouble himself. Dirant joined her, of course. Somewhere along those irritatingly nameless streets, he said, ¡°My Divine Guidance (Hunch) ability agrees there is some intrigue about this place. However, surely to wander around gets us no closer to it, and we are not so alert as we might be.¡±


    ¡°I can''t bring myself to agree with that, Ressi. The assiduous are the ones who find the crack when the rest have given up and gone to buy a new wheel.¡±


    Dirant halted, and not because his feet hurt. ¡°Is that from some past incident or work of fiction? As a moral, there is a shortcoming to it.¡±


    ¡°If you''re going to say it doesn''t do much good to find a crack since you have to buy a new wheel anyway, you''re right. It''s too bad though, because now you can''t claim you''re not still alert.¡± Takki''s smile of triumph did not reign unopposed.


    ¡°That is solely a function of Mercantile Fundamentals,¡± Dirant explained. ¡°Any question about financial considerations you choose to direct to me will be an honor for it to answer whether at this hour or a good one.¡± Darkness had come to sit upon Koshat Dreivis, though not so heavily as it might have because of a network of lanterns placed on high posts and in low niches. The irregular heights of the light sources caused shadows that were uncanny and of possible interest to theatrical innovators.


    ¡°Wouldn''t you say that''s what makes you such a good assistant? Between your abilities and mine, we have the fundamentals of finance and history covered. If you were more confident about how your Hunch ability actually works, we''d have the future wrapped up too. Besides, you can hear even if you can''t see very well. Which do you think the marsh king was? The short, high-pitched barks like a dog tormented by a naughty child, or the drawn-out murmur like the chairman who introduces the guest speaker?¡±


    ¡°Most describe it as something akin to the crack of the back-punishing whip, Barais.¡±


    Takki curtsied in a direction away from Dirant, who at that point was rendered incapable of speech on account of a degree of surprise Battlers rarely suffered. ¡°Thank you, Eizesl. Since we''re speaking Usse right now, Battler Millim Takki Atsa, present. I''m also pleased to present Ritualist Dirant Rikelta. Ressi, this is the gentleman we saw on the marsh.¡±


    ¡°So you did see us after all. I am sorry for that. I wished to avoid disturbing you. I am Functionary Chisops Dogai-Brein, if that is acceptable.¡± Seeing him, Dirant believed even less that he had been out on the marshes within visible range, his confirmation of such notwithstanding. A man of that height, one who might have rested his chin on Dirant''s head if not for his reputable upbringing, surely could not avoid detection anywhere unless he had the abilities of the Ninjas of Stegzi, let alone in the open country. Moreover, his rumbling voice, clearly incapable of descending to a whisper, would have given him away unless mistaken for the roars of the most powerful monsters. Come to think of it, Dirant had heard something like that. Maybe it was true after all.


    Aside from those distinctive features, nothing about him strayed too far from the Drastlifar standard. The slightest wind blew his wispy brown hair around more easily than the heavy cargo many carried up top, but that was simply a consequence of his hair''s having long since begun its unfortunate migration. Perhaps that was the reason for his lugubrious manner; to lose so much by what appeared to be his late 30s did not incline a man to cheer.


    Sartorially, the aspects worthiest of attention had to be the plant bits still stuck to him after he removed his shrub disguise and the coat of arms sewn into his jacket, three silver rings and three purple metal badgers on top of a black sea and green sky separated by a wavy peak. Three narrow red lines traced the edge of the shield, and from that and his cursory research Dirant knew Chisops to be the head of his Dogai-Breins. He hoped the usual honorific applied to people of that rank, since nobody had told him a more specific one.


    If not for Chisops Dogai-Brein''s overwhelming height and the towering impression of misery he radiated, some might have overlooked him in favor of his companions. Probably they did anyway. He was flanked by two bodyguards, or at least their gambesons implied that to be their profession. The green and black coloring of those and their other garments, split vertically far unlike the composition of their employer''s shield, would have fit in with the attention-grabbing costumes of Greater Enloffenkir''s mercenaries. Though they lacked typical weapons, the slim wands attached to their belts served as such for Hail Masters and Sleet Masters. Their headbands of light blue specked with white supported the idea and further set them apart from other Drastlifars, which they most obviously were, young Drastlifan women with challenging eyes and a complete absence of Eizesl Dogai-Brein''s mournful mien.


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    ¡°I am pleased to present,¡± that man said, ¡°Sleet Mistress Laimerif Oimer.¡± The one close to average height for her tribe, a bit above it perhaps, yanked out a fan to nod behind it in acknowledgment. She used it in her left hand, keeping her right free and near her wand. ¡°And Hail Mistress Isarbas Kwin.¡± The one who measured not even a full Takki did the same hurried maneuver with her fan despite the advance warning.


    The second thing everyone knew about Sleet and Hail Masters, the first being their usefulness in robberies, concerned the rivalry between the two classes. Mislabeling one as the other was a sure method to rile them up. To avoid any such unpleasantness as well as not to offer insult to the memory of his Hail Mistress mother, Dirant set his mind to devising a reliable trick for distinguishing the two. The exercise appealed to him far more than contemplating what more it would have taken to drive him screaming down the road than the sudden appearance of a grim figure from tales symbolic of inescapable doom illuminated from below, every curve of cheek and jaw defined, and his two giggling goblins ready to drag uncaring fate''s victims away to the prisons from which there is no release. He was beginning to have doubts about the state of his preservation instinct.


    ¡°Was it curiosity regarding antiquity that brought you here? Research? Or are you guests of Stanops Bodan-Tin?¡± The emphasis on the second question indicated which option Chisops found most respectable.


    Dirant decided to prevent any suspicion of muteness on his part. ¡°It is rather business, as the Stanops has requested a service possible only for Stadeskosken, a firm of Greater Enloffenkir, to provide.¡± That insertion of the company name seemed smoother to Dirant than his usual attempts, but he considered also the possibility he had finally eroded his resistance to bald promotion, perhaps with assistance from Negotiating Fundamentals.


    ¡°Oh, yes, the Stanops did speak about a northern novelty, I recall now. He warned me I would be unable to stay away because of it. I am not unaware of the north myself, it may be said.¡± He waved toward his bodyguards, who adopted poses appropriate for a martial training manual written by a retired mercenary making money off the fame from eight or so notorious duels. ¡°Society is changing. Everyone says so. The position of bodyguard is growing from a convenience to an institution, so we are becoming fully professional. We have embraced the methods of the Adaban condottiero as most suitable for the small-scale fights so lamentably common in Drastlif. What a thing of violence man is, it is written. Our trainees can also defend the lady of the house from unwanted attentions, help with the shopping, and carry on a lively conversation in every social setting.¡± Evidently Chisops Dogai-Brein had sailed farther down that golden river of incessant advertisement than had Dirant.


    ¡°They aren''t saying much now. Oh! I''m sorry!¡± Takki executed an emergency curtsy. ¡°I forgot not everyone speaks Usse. Our conversation made me feel like I was back home.¡±


    A slightly more extreme downturn of the sides of Chisops''s mouth may have been an attempt to exhibit sympathetic sadness, like snow painted on a sheep. ¡°I confess we have not found this language practical to include in our training regimen. It is invaluable for access to the world of scholarship, but the martial and social worlds are quite different.¡± He sighed. ¡°And the world of commerce, and politics . . . there are so many worlds. How do you find Koshat Dreivis?¡±


    Since Laimerif Oimer and Isarbas Kwin would have already tried to kidnap him if that was the course Chisops intended to take, Dirant conversed without worry. ¡°Placid yet advanced in some ways beyond even Dittsen. That is the influence of the Stanops, of course.¡±


    Chisops nodded. ¡°That is the one conclusion. He is very broad. Others become narrow with age and success, but not he. I prepared a packet of precedents and incentives before I requested his permission to study the marshlands here. He wrote back his approval immediately. He tries much, expects the same from everyone, and is so grasping it''s hard to accept. Then, after the failures, he forgives others as quickly as himself. A rare man and a model of a councilor. My family . . . ah, my family.¡± He roused himself from his moroseness, and Dirant was starting to run out of words to describe the man''s demeanor. ¡°Encounters should be short like a man''s life, they say. Excuse me for keeping you. Please come to me if you have any more questions about the monsters of the marshes or elsewhere. I will be happy if I can answer a single one. I will certainly accept the inevitable invitation to see this novelty. Good night.¡±


    Dirant and Takki returned the courtesy and watched Chisops Dogai-Brein walk into the darkness while his bodyguards fumbled with their fans to make the proper parting gesture before scurrying after him.


    ¡°Takki.¡±


    ¡°Yes, Ressi?¡±


    ¡°Because of your cunning methods of learning their classes . . .¡±


    ¡°Oh! You noticed! There''s that alertness again.¡± She resumed her patrol, skipping with pleasure.


    ¡°I did. I am further declaring you an expert. Is it unkind of me to suspect the clumsiness of those guards to be a ruse, or?¡±


    ¡°They''re faking it for sure. Nobody takes you seriously as a soldier if you''re too smooth. Oh, it''s probably different in the GE because of the condottieri like Mr. Kelnsolt, isn''t it? Well, not like him.¡±


    ¡°It is, though it is true the less-private military man is almost without exception depicted as a brusque fellow in theater and so. The reality is understood to be different. I myself know a Battler possessed of easy social grace, and there is Mr. Stansolt also.¡±


    ¡°Oh, since you said that, I have to come up with something stylish here.¡± They had reached the guest house assigned to Dirant, and if society usually preferred a different arrangement of who escorted whom where, it was a reminder of the underlying security situation. ¡°I know. Watch this.¡± Millim Takki Atsa produced a fan, snapped it open, and whirled it through a few arcs before she shut it again, curtsied, and departed. No body of etiquette Dirant knew included that among its accepted partings, but he acknowledged the grace with which she performed it.

 29. On The Advisability Of Breaking From Routine

    Doing So Once Per Month At Most Is Recommended By Medical Authorities


    The paste concocted for the Popcorn Regularization Ritual sometimes asserted its worse qualities most discourteously by falling off overnight. The result of excessive paste loss might be a new pattern entirely, one appropriate for some other ritual yet to be discovered but not at all helpful for popcorn. Once however the design remained intact for half a day or so, it would become fixed and remain functional even if more of the mixture flaked off or was made a feast by undiscriminating vermin. It was that worry which sent Stadeskosken''s Itinerant Ritualist to the park just after dawn for the follow-up examination. Zeal would have led him there earlier, but the sun refused to cooperate with such an unreasonable schedule.


    The morning''s work required as much thoroughness as the initial creation without any of the hardship. Because the base and the box could be inspected separately, he was able to take the latter outside so long as he looked around for ritual thieves first, which simplified the issue of getting the right light. Fifteen minutes persuaded him nothing had gone wrong with the design, another forty gave his conviction the firmness of concrete, and the last hour provided time to review both parts a few more times. A Ritualist had no excuse not to be assiduous. On that one point, his professors and his employers agreed.


    He placed the box on the shelf, patted the otter, and took himself to the nearest bench. ¡°It''s a fine morning, Eizesl.¡±


    The oligarch''s friend next to him said, ¡°I can''t think of anyone who would disagree, Sajaitin.¡±


    ¡°It would sadden me if someone did. The project assigned me is completed and awaits testing, after all, and so I want my good feeling to be widely held.¡±


    ¡°I may know some people interested in that while you rest, Sajaitin.¡± The messenger strode off and soon returned with a portable stove that looked to be of the size recommended by Stadeskosken''s guidelines, a sack, and Poiskops Bodan-Tin. Necessarily the assemblage which surrounded him because of complex societal incentives came also. Among that group was a servant marked by a stole bearing the Bodan-Tin shield, which was rarer.


    After a final briefing from the Stadeskosken representative, the servant carried the necessary tools and ingredients into the popcorn closet, for so it would be known forever after. Poiskops announced to his hangers-on that if the trial succeeded, he intended to move the day''s tea there, and it would be nice if someone informed his guests. The considerate members of the cloud about him did not push or trample one another in their eagerness to have his will done, but rather slid away in the good order of long practice.


    Even before they returned, the sole hired menial emerged from the popcorn station holding a bowl decorated with repeating white and purple diamonds and filled with novelty. ¡°That''s what I remember,¡± Poiskops Bodan-Tin commented as he took the bowl himself. He looked inside and sniffed. ¡°They serve this at the embassy sometimes. I asked why not more, and they told me it was a bit of an effort and a bushel of waste for what they got out of it. How much waste was it?¡±


    The menial produced a towel wrapped around what turned out to be a single kernel, slightly cracked. ¡°Out of all of them, this one did not bloom, Stanops.¡±


    ¡°That''s decided for me, then. We will have tea here. Er, but the aficionados will blame us if we try to pretend this isn''t a subject for celebration general and open, so we had better fetch the choir and tear up that guest list.¡±


    The words of an oligarch transmuted tea into a festival for any citizen able to reach the park in time. Most laborers repaired to the town at that hour regardless, and consequently most of Koshat Dreivis was so able. Further, most of that most was willing to drop by and chat with the neighbors'' neighbors to the accompaniment of a local amateur choir. Some of the attendees even ate popcorn. They thought it was decent.


    If the actual guests alone were greeted by Poiskops, no one took it as a snubbing. He deserved his leisure as much as anyone did, from the poor and powerless to the king of Chtrebliseu, whom he would have invited had he been in the area.


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    ¡°The timing is too excellent for me to deserve it by my own virtues, supposing there are any of those,¡± Poiskops told Dirant Rikelta, whom he had led even more aside than the pavilion already was. ¡°One of the delegations I won''t mention without peeking around first and checking the bushes sent to tell me a pair of its people will be arriving today. Your sweat wasn''t shed to water hopes never to flourish, Sajaitin, because now I''ll greet them with the latest and the oldest together and make a real display. They won''t throw a party over it, they''re serious types always talking about wounds and harm, but the heart is a place where much settles, not just reason. I''ll also have a chance to tweak my nephew a little if he asks when this popcorn thing started. I''ll tell him he would know if he came around more often. He won''t actually ask, but maybe his guest will. Is there any word about whether your graceful flight from Dreivis chilled and calm for fiery Dubwasef may be delayed?¡±


    Onerid had coached Dirant on the likely topics. That was rated number one. ¡°It is because of your open hand in letting us use your boat of great speed that we expect instructions this evening.¡±


    The answer satisfied Poiskops, even if it left Dirant wishing Drastlimez (Intermediate) would hurry up. ¡°He will have the message practically in his hand, then. Tradition holds that when two awaited arrivals come at once, it is because the higher heads looked at a blessing and it doubled itself to please them. Your company might be competent, but it''s also lucky, which is better. All the epigrammatists agree on that. Now if only we can get Eizesl Dogai-Brein to increase our company, for the font of cheer is a number that is large.¡±


    ¡°It is his stated plan as of last night to do so, though the future never yields to words alone.¡± Dirant wondered if he should have spoken about such affairs, but as a Stadeskosken employee, he qualified as both competent and lucky according to the judgment of a major figure in Drastlif''s government.


    ¡°He said so himself?¡± Seeing Dirant''s nod, Poiskops copied it. ¡°Then he''ll come. The Dogai-Breins had to get a steady one sometime. That''s a very delicate subject, though.¡± He continued, his voice jovial and not at all delicate. ¡°The chronicles have them all over. Recently, though, they lost their position on the Permissive Council. Demoting a family usually causes showers crimson and graveyards full, but this wasn''t one of those. It was a quieter tragedy. A decline none could deny or arrest but only mourn.¡± The amount of mourning was evident in his wide smile and the satisfaction with which he sipped his tea. ¡°To us decrepit families with more past than future, the Dogai-Breins remain worthy of the highest respect.¡±


    A suspicion that the oligarch was rewarding the ritual''s swift completion with important advice occurred to Dirant, though what steps might be taken to exploit it eluded him. Expand into the bodyguard training sector of the market? Hire Dogai-Breins to increase the prestige of the firm in the Drastlif region? Pay Chisops to add an otter to his arms? Such requests had to go through the Permissive Council, he knew. Stanops Bodan-Tin perhaps intended to communicate his support for such an application, should it be made.


    Or else the oligarch was simply talking, or bragging about the continued good fortune of his own family, or showing off his inventory of quotations and allusions that meant as much to an Adaban as goslikenar did to foreigners. Whatever the purpose behind his words, Poiskops Bodan-Tin certainly enjoyed his tea, and for all his confusion, so did the triumphant Ritualist.


    The afternoon gave Stadeskosken nothing to do but watch for either missives from the office or villains after their secrets. Dirant tried to stand perfectly still so as not to waste company resources, but he gave up and resolved to consider his time to be his own when Millim Takki Atsa declared her intent to find souvenirs for friends and relatives. He had some of those too after all, and though they deserved nothing, his modest 42 Tit-for-Tat permitted him to give a bit more than he ever got.


    Stansolt Gaomat, when invited to take part, warned, ¡°Is it left to me to say that a sub-minister remains content in his position more often than shopping stops at souvenirs?¡±


    Dirant pressed his side of the argument. ¡°It is indisputable evidence of your fundamental kindness that you give that solemn warning, and do not think me ungrateful if I claim to be fully aware of it. My reply is that since a tour of the shops is inevitable, the better part is to face it now while we are free and without diversions more to our taste.¡± Persuaded by that, Stansolt came along.


    Onerid Paspaklest and Ibir Doteniksta did as well, even without hearing that argument. ¡°Standing on the beach and waiting for a boat reminds me of a story told to me as a child,¡± Onerid told Takki. ¡°It made me very sad.¡± As for Ibir, Myrmidons always moved in groups when possible.


    The shops of Koshat Dreivis exhibited items made with the craftsmanship one expected of Drastlifars, and better could be had through custom orders. Perhaps on some other continent, Geft for instance, goods superior still could be found in every hamlet or hunter''s cabin, not for sale but made as a hobby and handed out as gifts, but Egillen''s inhabitants largely bought, sold, and enjoyed items of a far lesser quality. Dirant became absorbed in ideas about sponsoring an enclave of Drastlifan artisans in some central location up north such as Fennizen, but before he inadvertently triggered Divine Guidance (Hunch) again, a companion who maintained awareness in all situations made an observation which pulled him out of it.

 30. Espionage May Occur Anywhere

    The Conscientious Citizen Is Encouraged To Learn The Techniques To Counter Such


    ¡°I know you said your Dvanjchtlivan lessi mie probably weren''t a problem and you''ve been right so far, but I thought you''d like to know they''re here again.¡± Takki held up a carved turtle which itself was holding a small mirror which, with some manipulation, reflected two particular people on the street outside. ¡°I''m not sure they''re actually following you right now. Maybe they just haven''t found you yet.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡± The courtesy section of Dirant''s brain took over speech while the rest dedicated itself to that news with the same intense focus as it previously applied to the problem of remembering which one was Sleet and which Hail. Hold on. ¡°When lightning strikes, shorter is better,¡± he declared.


    ¡°Oh, that''s not bad. I was thinking that because hail is usually bigger than sleet and . . . Well, it''s all right if you didn''t notice, Ressi.¡±


    He had definitely noticed, just as he saw the expressions ranging from puzzlement to concern on the part of their companions. They got over it. Possibly they believed it to be a code of the sort he kept meaning to establish. What hindered him every time he remembered the idea was which items to include. ¡°Run!¡± could be yelled openly in most cases.


    The presence of those Dvanjchtlivs combined with a quick review of the hints Poiskops Bodan-Tin had dropped while juggling his twin wishes to maintain secrecy and brag brought Dirant to a conclusion he considered certain: A member of Drastlif''s governing councils had been entrusted to provide a venue for negotiations between Prince Ozovramblidaj of Noiswawau and someone of similar importance. Upon determining that, Dirant worried he might be in trouble. He had already attracted the prince''s attention, and his presence in Koshat Dreivis must be difficult to take as coincidence. Then again, when Noiswawau''s intelligence apparatus found out about the popcorn ritual if it had not already, likely it would accept company secrets as reason enough for Dirant''s otherwise inexplicable movements. A hidden motive always seemed more credible than an overt one, and for all that the royalty of Noiswawau preferred martial glory to pecuniary gain, the contrary inclination was easy to attribute to society''s middle and to Adabans.


    He managed to persuade himself everything would be fine when his love of truth insisted on appending the condition, ¡°unless Stansolt does something upsetting, which he assuredly will.¡± Obviously Stansolt Gaomat knew of the meeting even in Dubwasef and had agitated to be included for that very reason. As for recourse, Dirant saw none. He would have to rely on Stansolt''s discretion, unimpeachable so far as he knew, and maybe spend more time in the town''s temple.


    The Noiswawauans did pick up his trail eventually, both Battlers informed the quarry. That fact, along with the innovative popcorn facility, added some of the thrill and mystique of the big city to the place. A tourist felt twice as sophisticated as usual when buying and sending to her father in Pavvu Omme Os a kind of bookmark which fit around the side of the page and had inscribed on it the left half of a palm tree, brown and green against orange with every frond detailed.


    ¡°We''re being followed, Ressi.¡±


    ¡°And so?¡±


    ¡°By someone new.¡±


    ¡°Ah.¡±


    ¡°He is not so good at it,¡± Ibir remarked. ¡°You mean that young man with the drooping lip and the whiskers that are the herald of a beard, do you not? He may be an admirer who wishes to be noticed.¡±


    Dirant decided against saying he had already noticed that Drastlifar but dismissed the matter after coming to Ibir''s second conclusion. Though true, the moment had passed for him to be praised as perceptive rather than condemned as a sore loser in the competition to spot shady people, especially after Takki had been kind enough not to tell anyone about the time Chisops Dogai-Brein caught him unawares. In addition, he might turn out to be wrong. At least he had pointed out the bookmark first, even if he said nothing about its appeal to a bookish academic like old man Takki but remarked only that he had never seen such a style before.


    A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    Eager to win acclaim in another field, Dirant devised a plan in the seeming eternity allowed him while Ibir and Onerid perused daggers and sheaths on the second floor, the surest sign of shared Myrmidonhood possible. The Battlers of course felt no urge to match their weapons and simply looked around the first floor, and there he made his proposal. ¡°''Before war, intelligence.'' A general I understand to have been successful overall said that. Therefore I desire to put your impressive skill to the task of learning whom this newcomer is dedicated to following.¡± He considered listing possibilities, but he had not yet learned the names of every single person in town. Even one Millim Takki Atsa might be the target if some rival hunter had hired thugs to follow her and discover what trophy she might claim there in the exotic south worthy of being mounted over the cold north''s fireplaces so as to purchase a better and thereby steal her glory at the next congress of monster slayers. Unlikely, but an idea to suggest to Stadeskosken''s recently established publishing wing.


    Takki peaked out the window. ¡°I''d really like to, Ressi, but it might be too dangerous to leave you alone.¡±


    Quite a sudden concern when she had hardly been in the bushes watching his house all through the night, he began to think. The realization he could not be sure of that stopped him from saying anything about it. Besides, he came up with a better response. ¡°My secret followers have returned, who, if nothing else, are witnesses.¡±


    ¡°You''re going to exploit them for your own ends, Ressi? That''s great. I was thinking about wheedling Mr. Stansolt so I could investigate, but that''s a little too rude and not nearly as clever.¡±


    ¡°It would not have bothered me regardless,¡± Stansolt said.


    His lack of enthusiasm fed Takki''s own. ¡°You do want to look into this person, don''t you? Aren''t you a Battler? Don''t you want to reveal all that''s been hidden?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Dirant guessed he wanted to say. Instead, Stansolt bowed and said, ¡°He will evade us however, or else be unworthy of our attention from the beginning.¡±


    ¡°It may profit us to know which,¡± Dirant argued. ¡°If for no reason to hire him later to pass secret messages, though never have I attempted such a thing before.¡±


    ¡°Ah, well, who has?¡± Perhaps to atone for engaging in evasiveness a bare step short of dishonesty, Stansolt agreed to the plan.


    At last the Myrmidons descended. ¡°You all have the look of meeting participants who have come to a sure decision,¡± Onerid remarked.


    ¡°That''s right. I''m not sure we should tell you what it is for scientific reasons.¡± Takki pondered the question, sinking into the splits as she did.


    ¡°Please don''t, if that is the state to which it reduces you. Am I to act naturally, then?¡±


    ¡°You could do that, but it really would be better if you behaved like you always do.¡±


    From anyone else humor might be suspected, but Takki''s serious response only confused her audience until Dirant developed a theory.


    ¡°Takki, what are the connotations of ''natural'' in Pavvu Omme Os, do you think?¡±


    ¡°Oh, something like crude, unsophisticated, unfinished, in need of improvement. Why? Is it different in the south?¡±


    ¡°Now that the subject is before us, I am unsure. ''Normal'' or ''expected'' are words that fit the idea as I understand it. That may be a regionalism.¡± Dirant looked to the other Grenlofers for confirmation.


    Onerid simply flipped her fan open instead. ¡°We must arrange a symposium on the topic, but for now the wise course is to prepare for dinner in the event we are again invited by the Stanops, a likely event at least for you, Mr. Dirant, because of your success.¡± With those words did Onerid, her previous mood restored, declare an end the afternoon outing and depart, naturally or perhaps typically.


    Dirant tried to stroll at his customary pace, and already that was impossible from the second word. He failed utterly and came to concentrate on the mechanisms of the act itself. Soon he questioned how he ever accomplished the slightest physical endeavor, and whatever words one might use to describe someone breathing at different depths and feeling his own muscles as they worked in his face and arms, ¡°natural¡± was not among them, whether in Pavvu Omme Os or anywhere else.


    Not so oblivious as to ignore how he must appear, Dirant wrestled his thoughts over to popcorn so that he might relax. Would it bloom in Drastlif? Even he, an Adaban true, rarely exploited the countless popcorn opportunities available to him. That was the old popcorn though, the stale stuff soon to be left behind by the revolution the field was undergoing if the periodicals and journals to which Donnlink Espahalpt subscribed told the naked truth and not an optimistic version of it. Dabblers in Greater Enloffenkir had been experimenting with more flavorful strains and post-pop augmentations since the confederation''s founding, but today''s hobbyists drank their fill of the modern spirit and knew the failures of the past to be their own imminent triumphs. Then Dirant would make a bunch of money.


    Whether a grin and occasional chuckle counted as natural in Greater Enloffenkir, no Drastlifar considered his manner exceptional in any way, least of all a friend of Poiskops Bodan-Tin who met Dirant at his guest house and informed him of that hospitable man''s desire for Sajaitin Rikelta''s company at dinner. Naturally he indicated his acceptance and, his two jobs of rituals and not looking behind him completed, set about readying himself for the occasion, a process which consisted of swapping his current vest for one less besweatened. Such is the basis of fashion, and all else but elaboration.

 31. Moments Of Repose

    The Philosopher Is Able To Find Peace In Any Situation, Proving Thereby The Shiftlessness Of The Type


    At dinner, one guest would have been universally acclaimed as the king of guests if Drastlifars did that sort of thing, a singer among actors, a Brawny Knight among Warm Bodies. It was Chisops Dogai-Brein, whose lively conversation on topics ranging from monsters and condottieri to the differences between the heraldry of the Drastlifars and the Tands, that tribe credited with the art''s blessed invention, engaged those who had not met him before and stunned those who had. The volume of his discourse overwhelmed the other attendees so that no longer could they think upon other matters, for instance a report full of curious implication that a droopy young man in town had followed not Onerid, Dirant, or Stansolt, but rather the pair of Dvanjchtlivs.


    ¡°The old stories of the Adaban tribe, the fables otherwise called, so often have the secrets of the hills as their backdrop that when a town decides to pick a famous hill mentioned in many stories of dread and fairies and level it at great expense, the sole surprise is how wealthy every town is in that prosperous confederation.¡± Chisops then retold the story of the largest excavation unrelated to iron, silver, or water ever conducted in Greater Enloffenkir. His account entranced even Dirant, who had followed it in the broadsheets at the time clear through the sad end when no fairies were found or even their halls of glamour. Chisops at least sounded sad; at the time, much mockery was made of those provincials with more money than learning who still interpreted myths and legends as descriptions of factual events rather than expressions of socio-psychological factors.


    Far different conclusions suggested themselves to Chisops Dogai-Brein. ¡°Our magistrates can plead the uneventful outcome as their excuse for not dredging the marshes and ponds that figure in our legends. I do not fault them for it if it sounds that I do, but I had a thought when I saw a mill in operation. Centuries hence, will our descendants smash the last one and wonder flour does not come out? Let us ignore the conclusions of ancient Adabans that the odd fissures in their hills and cliffs are passages used by the underhill lords and consider the fissures themselves. Everyone agrees they are real. I heard also of inexplicable fissures in the lakebed, that is, the lake near estates we were compelled to sell in response to pecuniary pressures. I swam there, when I was young . . . But if we still owned it, I would trade it away in exchange for this splendid Koshat Dreivis. The easy communication with the capital, the luxury resources perennially demanded, and some of the rarest monsters. Is there a poet able to compress it that I may carry it with me?¡±


    That speech began to resemble the prelude to a declaration of war, which disturbed some of the listeners. Or one of them. The non-Drastlifar. Poiskops Bodan-Tin smiled wide as he accepted Chisops''s words as either simple flattery or the sincere envy of the head of a fallen family. As to which would please him more, it would have been impolite even to guess. Either way, he reciprocated by showing interest in his fellow family head''s affairs. ¡°We try not to be worse than we are. Did you find any fissures here?¡±


    ¡°Oh yes. Yes, nearly the hour I arrived I found a few. I''ve labeled countless since on a map of no value now but which will become an object of international fame once I gather sufficient evidence to convince the gullible and the skeptical both of my theories. I have confirmed them to some degree already.¡±


    Speeches of that length would have exhausted the entire dinner period at the rate he spoke to Takki and Dirant the previous evening, but by speeding up a bit he fascinated his listeners with all the power of a monster''s strange abilities. Everyone there had experience with bold, under-evidenced claims, Stanops Bodan-Tin more than any, yet at that moment the purported map if put to an auction would have gone not for silver coins, but for bars of gold.


    Afterward, the struggle to relate to people not present what Chisops had said that so entranced the main table frustrated both sides. ¡°Ah, and what is to be done to recreate the impact his lectures had on us? I must study under the orators of Pavvu Omme Os after I change my class to Evoker so that I may describe it fully in thirty years or so. Today I am able to provide a summary and nothing more. Also I did not understand all of it.¡±


    Twirling her scarf''s tail, Takki said, ¡°I hope I''m not going too far, but I think you''re exaggerating, Ressi. You have a nice voice, and when we talked to Eizesl Dogai-Brein, he didn''t sound like someone who''d be picked to lead a side in a debate.¡±


    They were walking toward the tiny port, Dirant and Takki and Onerid and Ibir. The new shadow''s unexpected targets had excited Stansolt to a higher level of interest, and accordingly he was unavailable to stand vigil for the branch office''s instructions. Dirant liked to think he would have understood.


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    ¡°Thank you for saying so. For a long time I have wanted to remark on the invigorating qualities of your own voice, but no convenient occasion for doing so arose before now. As for the other matter, his conversation was not at all the ornamented arguments of the debater so much as proclamations much like those Egille himself must have delivered when he convinced his multitude to journey with him over the ocean toward an uncertain glory they never doubted.¡±


    Onerid still doubted. ¡°And he talked about heraldry? And the state of chemical research in Tando OHW?¡±


    ¡°That is it. I never can now forget that they are called arms yet are presented always as shields because the Drastlinez at first used such designs solely when hanging the captain''s shield over the ship''s side, whereas the Tands put them on their surcoats and helmets as well.¡±


    ¡°Every text about it puts that information in the introduction, and I have difficulty believing that he said it at all.¡±


    ¡°Ah, no, I read that in one such text,¡± Dirant clarified. ¡°It is only that I forgot after reading it, and after his discourse I never will. He related an incident which concerned dealings with a certain Tand who has on his coat of arms the roundel or, which the Tands did not historically use. It is called an ipapoba after our gold coin.¡±


    Doubt yielded to amusement. Onerid laughed outright. ¡°I understand now what grabs the attention of Mr. Haderslant''s son!¡±


    Takki left off from biting her scarf to say, ¡°Ressi, if he had offered you one of those coins, do you think you would have sailed to another continent with him?¡±


    ¡°After asking for time off, yes.¡± There were no longer grounds for Dirant to hope he might bring them around to the Dogai-Brein side. That was fine. He would criticize their favorite orators later. Meanwhile they watched some low-intensity, non-crucial fishing as they looked out over the ocean, clear under the clearer heavens that were not yet dark or even orange. Slowly lengthening days prepared the world for the approaching new year. ¡°They say that''s the most important holiday in Saueyi,¡± said Takki as she rested on a bench to recover from the wearying task of not doing anything. ¡°I haven''t heard of any good enigmas coming from there, which is pretty enigmatic.¡± She hopped back up and looked for rocks to use in sling practice.


    ¡°Is not the matter of the unidentified raiders mysterious? They are wholly unlike the usual type from Ililesh Ashurin or the Fovsen continent, the broadsheets say.¡± Dirant stayed sitting on account of not having brought his sling, or owning one in the first place, being a man who thrived in untroubled times. ¡°Losses so far have not been tremendous, which in no way mollifies the Saueha.¡±


    ¡°Oh? Maybe the problem is that nobody back home speaks Saueo. I''m going to warn you not to say anything about this the next time you visit us because it might make people mad at you, but Adaban is far more popular. Onerid, do you think there''s anything it''s all right for me to hit?¡± Takki''s whirling sling demanded a prompt answer from the cultural expert.


    ¡°Passing sharks.¡±


    A stone cleaved through the air at a life-robbing speed only to be stopped by the insensate ocean. ¡°I can''t tell if I would have hit it,¡± the slinger complained.


    ¡°There really was a shark? Ah, how is this? Suppose Mr. Dirant draws targets on the beach of different sizes? We may assign point values to them.¡±


    ¡°Don''t worry about making them too small, Ressi.¡±


    ¡°Without objecting, I wonder what is the reason for me to do it?¡± Dirant did not ask that. Instead, he accepted the regard the masses held for the immaculate draftsmanship of Ritualists and went about creating for his clients, non-paying of course, an array of scoring zones such as would delight the devisers of the most convoluted games. Concentric circles formed the center, but he marked off segments as triangles which pointed to other zones at angles; the severity of the angle predictably correlated with the rewards for success. Those zones pointed to more in turn so that the victor must master not only accuracy but skipping as well.


    To the sides he placed the rolling zones whose high sides impeded but did not prevent a stone''s exit. ¡°Land outside the lines and your throw is disqualified. Mar them and you must repair them yourself, and because of this punishment the tension will increase in a pleasantly tolerable way,¡± he explained in a voice barely louder than the clinking of the pebbles he pushed out of the way using the haft of Takki''s halberd. ¡°The stone must reach the next marker to win the points for that stretch, though perhaps a judge with a ruler may be summoned to make a determination in serious contests when an inch and a mile are cattle and kine. Now the side circles.¡±


    At first, Takki and Onerid debated which was the better course, whether to clarify the intended scope of the task or accept that a task delegated is no longer yours. Gradually they fell silent aside from one last observation. ¡°I haven''t ever seen you do a ritual before, Ressi. I know we''ve talked about this before, but should we think that''s odd?¡±


    ¡°It''s merely a fact of the modern commercial environment.¡±


    ¡°I really think that''s a shame. You''re doing this very nicely.¡± That was the last thing Takki said for some time, and Onerid and Ibir were no louder. They watched him work, walking backwards in order not to erase what he had done, sometimes murmuring something about a variant in which the competitor might add to his score by hitting secondary circles around the central one in a progression. Eventually one of them had to break the silence or start praying, and which Takki chose surprised not the gods nor anyone else. ¡°This feels a little weird, Ressi. No, you don''t have to stop. It''s just a feeling.¡±

 32. Methods For Making A Memorable Entrance

    Every Last One Of These Must Be Avoided By The Modern Gentleman Or Lady


    As soon as the playing field was marked out and filled in, the observers jerked up as if freed from a thousand-year enchantment. Dirant failed to notice, busy as he was retreating from the field for fear of the almighty arm of a Battler who listed Sling (Peerless) in her status. Takki accepted the tacit invitation, squared up, and loosed a stone with no less intensity than if she had sighted a fire wolf with a particularly nice coat. She managed to hit a base triangle and the follow-up, but not a third. ¡°Very tricky. I think it would be fun to commission something like this in a sturdier material and have meets.¡±


    ¡°There''s no material strong enough,¡± Onerid objected. ¡°That''s excellent, since it''s important in your line of work to crack the uncrackable and so, but be mindful, my girl.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I know, but we''ll pad the projectiles to reduce the impacts. Hng!¡± That one landed in the center of the back-left circle. ¡°Now the right one.¡±


    ¡°I think not,¡± Ibir interrupted, and not because she despised the sport. Far from that, she had been gathering stones herself, and while doing so she looked up and saw the long-desired boat approach over the rolling ocean turned into froth by furious oars. Soon they heard the drum testify that once again the capricious waves had chosen mercy, that the crew was right to trust its vessel. The beat had a power to hypnotize nearly equal to that of a young man drawing a beach picture. Perhaps if the drummer raised his Panache a bit.


    The boat had not transformed or been traded in for an Akard-Velgsin masterpiece since it carried the Stadeskosken crew there, and so nothing about it startled Dirant. Neither did the presence of Keiminops Bodan-Tin on board; he had expected that. What did stir him a little was that in his surreptitious examinations of Onerid Paspaklest for any reaction, he detected none. Pretending to remove a pebble from his shoe, a necessary contrivance to get close to Takki''s ear, he whispered, ¡°As to the rumors . . .¡±


    ¡°Who would tell her?¡±


    ¡°Ah.¡±


    That elucidating exchange completed, Dirant examined the other passenger. Seated next to Keiminops, a gentleman of a much different cast looked about with the condescending smile of someone who trusted he comprehended everything the moment he saw it. He may not have been mistaken. Adabans often credited Riks with understanding both deep and wide even while mocking them for turning it to no account but increasing their own anxiety, a fault which that particular Rik-looking fellow appeared not to possess.


    His hair, still black despite the experience it had accumulated over fifty-ish years, had withdrawn gracefully from the field to retire at the top. Between his lofty hairline and his sharp Rik nose were eyes equally as black, undiminished by time in their quick motions and their intensity. His coat and the vest under it belonged to the generation before, with none of that nonsense about buttoning on alternating sides. For all that Dirant understood it was the obligation of anyone his own age to deride the style as unfashionable, the sight forced him to contemplate whether wearing the latest thing was nothing but a ploy to avoid being compared with a truly well-dressed man. He hoped his efforts to straighten his clothes before the guests arrived were not noticed, although perhaps they would take it as a compliment.


    When the boat came in, the crew moved to assist the older man up. The Rik scorned any such aid and the very ladder as well. He jumped instead, grabbed the pier''s edge, and swung himself around fully vertical for one glorious instant before he rolled forward and straightened himself. He planted his cane and stood as if waiting for a lunch companion who was running a tad late. So convincing was his nonchalant pose that those waiting on the shore doubted what they had seen.


    Keiminops followed in a less dramatic fashion, and then another Drastlifar whom Dirant had taken as part of the crew with a letter stuffed in his cummerbund and a packet in his hand no doubt sent by Mr. Hadolt Herafoken. The actual crew set about all the making fast and such sailors did while the disembarking three advanced to meet the waiting four.


    Keiminops Bodan-Tin, as befit the rank implied by the second and third parts of his name, began the introductions. He clasped his hands first as he turned to Ibir, then Onerid, then Takki, likely in order of age as best he could determine, and then seized Dirant''s hand in the customary manner.


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    ¡°Keiminops Bodan-Tin is my name, and you?¡± Though he spoke with a higher voice than Dirant expected from someone of his height and build, it had a texture that implied the speaker had character, regardless of the true situation.


    ¡°Dirant Rikelta. This opportunity is a blessing for me. Istarank Faolst''s wife Ibir Doteniksta is here, and Delaosant Paspaklest''s daughter Onerid, and Rasto Takki Upki''s daughter Millim Takki Atsa.¡± He opted to exclude honorifics as was the custom in Greater Enloffenkir when he realized he had forgotten the one he had heard used for Delaosant Paspaklest. Further, he placed Onerid second just as Keiminops had despite her being an arms-bearing lady, conceding to the Bodan-Tin the greater knowledge of local etiquette. For his third choice made for reasons of politeness, he ignored his certain knowledge those two had already met. To hint he knew had an air of the indiscreet about it, and the occasion back then may have been considered private and therefore did not qualify.


    ¡°A hybrid introduction. The articles claiming the Adabans want to absorb us have something to them after all. We''ll wake up tomorrow and our beards will be gone, but it''s all right as long as we get a fee for every wig, doll, and pillow sold.¡± Keiminops said that as if he were contemplating the possibility seriously, which showed either a much finer control over his amusement-related muscles than certain Jalpi Peffu ever demonstrated or a willingness to ruminate about unorthodox ideas so prized in academia as a trait up to the point one publicly questioned a celebrity professor''s theories. ¡°We''ll call the new country Even Greater Enloffenkir until Redrin is incorporated and Nearing True Greatness Enloffenkir after that. Then, after we conquer Noiswawau and Swadvanchdeu, we''ll downgrade ourselves to Greatness Missed and tell one another stories about the old days.¡± So the first one, then.


    ¡°It is so, Eizesl,¡± Dirant allowed. ¡°We already tell such stories however, and so we may dispense with the rest as we choose.¡±


    There was dignity in Keiminops''s understanding nod. ¡°I worked a nasty pasture growing this much beard as it was. This opportunity is a blessing for me. Here are Onsalkan Aishtin-Zol''s daughter''s father Onsalkan and Helsodenk Nifkleskir''s nephew''s father''s brother Helsodenk.¡±


    Keiminops had evidently deduced he could get away with anything. It could not be determined whether it was the relative youth of the company barring Helsodenk Onsalkan which encouraged him, his extensive research into the likes and dislikes of his uncle''s guests, the irrepressible flippancy of his social circles, or the urge to avert any unease caused by the appearance of a celebrity of such dubious reputation as what Helsodenk Nifkleskir had. Those were the favorable possibilities, but he may just have been uncouth generally or drunk specifically. Dirant had already played along before he thought of those indications of poor character; therefore he committed himself to thinking the best of Keiminops against all future evidence.


    ¡°So many blessings are about that I wonder a temple is not sprung up beneath us,¡± Helsodenk said, and if his expression stayed flat throughout, it was because every muscle worked to its limit to load his speech with as much derision as possible. As if he had finished making a point, Helsodenk relaxed his contempt glands and became sociable. ¡°Blessings, yes. Does anyone know if an old associate of mine, Delaosant Paspaklest, is doing well?¡± He watched out of the corner of the eye for a movement of Onerid''s fan which he at least believed he understood. ¡°It relieves me to hear that. Because we are close in age, I think of him always when too many of the young are about. I yield it to you, Eizesl Aishtin-Zol, to be a bridge between generations.¡±


    Onsalkan Aishtin-Zol did indeed look old enough to have the daughter Keiminops attributed to him, though not enough for her to leave home. Doubtless he wished to return to said home and had no wish to stand around and interpret the latest slang. ¡°Don''t say so, Eizeur Nifkleskir. My sole task, too much of an honor for me at that, is to transmit from Stadeskosken to Stadeskosken this missive.¡± He handed the packet to Dirant with his left hand, shook with his right, and walked off to town while dropping greetings behind him. He did stop for a moment to admire the scoring field. ¡°What a game that must have been! Farewell again.¡±


    Keiminops drifted over to examine that also. ¡°I don''t remember this at all. Having fun, to be clear.¡±


    Dirant stopped himself from saying he had heard differently and merely handed the instructions over to Onerid for her perusal. When Helsodenk displayed an inclination to join the man whose guest he appeared to be, the Stadeskosken group shuffled a few yards to the side to give him, but really themselves, room.


    ¡°We''re all staying,¡± Onerid proclaimed shortly. ¡°Provided that the Stanops decides to accept the additional charges laid out here, which is nearly an assured thing.¡±


    ¡°Even Mr. Stansolt?¡± asked Dirant.


    ¡°He as well.¡±


    ¡°That is clear enough. What advice can anyone offer as to wringing information from the nephew of an important personage concerning possible intrigues?¡±


    ¡°Don''t,¡± Onerid suggested, but Takki, less concerned about Stadeskosken''s local reputation, disagreed.


    ¡°If you''re accused of doing something wrong, aren''t you eager to help in clearing it up? That''s the best way I know.¡±


    Dirant, recalling certain incidents, looked down and dug one foot into the beach like a student taken aside by the teacher to give an explanation that under no circumstances would exculpate him. ¡°Ah, and it is too late for me to deny it works on me.¡±


    ¡°I really wasn''t planning to point that out, Ressi.¡±


    ¡°There is no need for it. Now I must excuse myself to inquire whether Eizesl Bodan-Tin is aware of any promising crimes.¡±

 33. On The Contextuality Of Scandal

    What Is Judged Piracy In Likstalmitlof Is Lauded As Heroism In Ililesh Ashurin


    As much as Onerid wanted to argue with Haderslant Rikelta''s son, she did not want to do that at all. She, Takki, and Ibir returned down the picturesque palm road to Koshat Dreivis while Dirant sidled over to Keiminops Bodan-Tin with no subtlety whatever and accused him of excessive courtesy. ¡°To see the discerning citizens of this tasteful country admiring my little drawing is most gratifying, even if I suspect you to be delaying to allow Eizesl Aishtin-Zol time to spread the news of your arrival before you appear yourself.¡±


    ¡°He deserves nothing less for taking care of the legs, feet, throat, and mouth his parents gave him for all these years. I haven''t done better than that. The venerable authorities all say the duties of the powerful are burdens heaviest and sweetest both, but we''ve managed to slim them down to sometimes standing on a beach for a little while. Have you been in Drastlif long, Sajaitin? I''m not wrong about that part, I''m pretty sure.¡±


    ¡°Around half a month, and so I must ask about these things unlike Mr. Helsodenk. Now I must request as a favor from the powerful that you permit me to believe that you knew my profession because none but we have the skill to make this intricate field.¡±


    Keiminops returned to the scoring field, nodding and hmphing as if analyzing it from the head to the belly. ¡°''Intricate'' is the word for it. ''Bewildering'' is another.¡±


    ¡°The meaning of that word is unknown to me, Eizesl.¡±


    ¡°Good, because it would have been more honorable not to say it. Now let''s say I might be able to accommodate you in ways more than a few.¡± Keiminops scratched his chin directly rather than his beard, and Dirant hoped it was not simply the resemblance of mannerisms to Adabans back home that was pushing him to like the man even as he conceded it probably was. ¡°Favors always carry a cost, whether in fairy tales or politics. I want to be clear about that since we''re foreigners to each other. Letting you in on a few points is within my means, but there are things I''d like to know myself.¡±


    ¡°An even exchange is most times a trap, and I must rely on the legendary generosity of the great families. What is it you want, stated in a broad way before either of us commits?¡± Dirant girded himself for the struggle with Fundamentals both Mercantile and Fundamental in order to defend Stadeskosken''s secrets and his own ritual from the sly probing of this oligarch''s nephew. If however Keiminops asked about the latest happenings in Koshat Dreivis or insight into the condottieri of Greater Enloffenkir, things which would not cost Dirant money, he would comply without hesitation.


    Rather than any of that, after hesitating himself for a bit, Keiminops said, ¡°I''d like to know as a prelude before the prologue, that means to start, in what terms, however you would like to put it in either free-flowing tongue of gossiping Drastlifar or patient Adaban, for of that a little I know and more of Heweks, you would describe your acquaintance with Deuani Delaosant''s daughter.¡±


    Oh. Too much mystery had made Dirant unwary regarding the usual matters of society, he realized, the common sort of thing he expected to come up in any conversation that went on long enough, or rather too long. The ideal, he had learned, was to drag the friend out of the establishment before it reached that point, but he and Keiminops had not yet reached that stage of familiarity. There was nothing to do but answer. Or not answer, but answering seemed safe, especially since he could do it in Adaban.


    ¡°I like a straightforward answer in these matters, and so it is this. We are employees of the same firm, though my presence at our Drastlif branch is temporary while hers is permanent. More significant in my opinion is that she is become a close friend of a friend of mine, that being the lady from Pavvu Omme Os whom I introduced as Millim Takki Atsa and whose sling made those marks you see yonder.¡±


    When that response began, Keiminops held himself at attention like a student standing in line for inspection by the headmaster on the first day, but by the end he had regained the insouciance of the teacher all the boys wanted to become. ¡°I wonder whether that is the best answer I have ever heard to a question of mine. I struggle to think of a better. You reminded me with your look just now of someone about to explain the brass has already been purchased and moved off the lot by another family. I feel double-blessed to have my expectation upturned.¡±


    Clearly the two had different taste in similes, but Dirant nevertheless tried to be agreeable. Still, he suspected difficulties. ¡°That look, if I did wear it, which I do not concede, owes its existence to my guess I will be asked in a moment to offer a service of a social nature I have already done for someone else, and the complexities confound me.¡±


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    ¡°Dismayed yet unsurprised is my mood,¡± said Keiminops, who indeed frowned in a calm manner. ¡°Are you enrolled on a side?¡±


    ¡°I am unsure. You Drastlifars and your ways, and so.¡±


    The frown disappeared as Keiminops adopted instead the same sort of expression his uncle bore when he thought he was about to navigate every obstacle between him and landing a popcorn deal. ¡°Well, did you lie or tell the simple truth''s more attractive parts only?¡±


    ¡°The latter.¡±


    ¡°This country isn''t so far descended yet. We haven''t forgotten Yunan or Vikin. You told the truth, that is all, and are free to do the same about me, or better yet, join my side. Have you seen how elaborate my shield is? The cruft of centuries, and don''t let the relative simplicity of the Larstin-Megrafilt shield trick you into thinking that doesn''t mean something. Don''t shun my advice upcoming just because I want a certain result. Sajaitin, ask around, and the men of Drastlif will be of the same opinion, most of them. I''ve given Eizesl Aishtin-Zol enough time, so you can see my good judgment when it comes to social niceties.¡± Keiminops collected Helsodenk and proceeded to the family seat.


    Dirant followed at a distance sufficient to allow the Bodan-Tin his glory, for a Ritualist might have adoration anywhere and need not diminish what others received. He pondered several subjects on the way, such as whether Keiminops himself had spread those rumors. Did that make sense? He had no idea. Aside from that, Dirant felt sorry for Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain but also unsure he ought to judge him the loser so quickly as that. These things took turns and turns, after all.


    Then there was that matter of another guest, Helsodenk Nifkleskir, who had decided to come along for some reason, and Dirant suspected it might be one difficult to approve. Was it coincidence that put a disgraced embassy consultant in the same town as the daughter of a former ambassador? Keiminops had unquestionably decided on his sudden visit for that reason, but that Helsodenk followed behind him simply to pick up any gold that fell from his pockets, Dirant doubted.


    Speaking of ambassadors, one recently fled the country amid a cloud of fear and historical appreciation, while others perhaps at that very moment were receiving their instructions from the heir to Noiswawau''s throne and another person of exalted rank. Did Helsodenk know about the meeting? Had he attempted to assassinate a colleague, the dream of countless men and women? Might he be pursuing another colleague''s daughter, the dream of rather fewer people, but not none? To Dirant, everything sounded plausible except for that last until he thought a little more, and then even that.


    Koshat Dreivis welcomed the latest arrivals without condition or inhibition on the surface. Underneath, it also did. Dirant expected much more gossip than he heard. ¡°The Eizesl''s presence is neither expected nor unexpected,¡± Isarx Tomein told him, referring to Keiminops Bodan-Tin.


    Isarx was the friend of the Stanops who restored Dirant to good health during the box-painting trial. They were friends already because of that, Dirant reasoned, and the other indicated his assent by allowing himself to be distracted from watching his children and those of the neighbors conduct a game according to indescribable rules. The only interest Isarx had in that proceeding was that nothing important broke, or if it did, determining who was to pay for it. ¡°Whom he brings with him is no more a worry of ours than the fire wolves of the north or the searing swallows of the south. I won''t speak of any young armigers who should have a saddle and gentle reins included in their costume except to say he is not one, Sajaitin.¡±


    And Helsodenk Nifkleskir? ¡°Is there some doubt about him?¡± Koshat Dreivis received little news of outside Drastlif but what the Stanops chose to relate at his teas and dinners, and the few who themselves traveled thought their townmates well served by learning little of such trivial affairs which were without practical significance as outsiders pretended to think important. After hearing Dirant''s explanation, Isarx shrugged. ¡°Is there a man who doesn''t try what he can? Some are caught once, others again and again, and that is all the gap there is between the prosperous and the meager. The capital is burdened with boredom to treat that as a worthy subject.¡±


    ¡°Many prefer their seats of government to be so,¡± Dirant remarked. ¡°And now, what is your opinion on romance?¡±


    ¡°I''ll be against it when my daughters are older, Sajaitin, but today I remember it with fondness. But surely you aren''t having any trouble.¡± Isarx grabbed Dirant''s arm and gave it an encouraging shake.


    ¡°It is flattering for you to say so, though I know a handsomer man of higher station who is suffering the ancient despair.¡±


    ¡°Oho!¡±


    ¡°Even so. My question touches upon manners. May someone who passed on word of the virtues of one person so that they would reach a second person later praise a third in good conscience, knowing the first and third walk the same road of torment? In my country the matter is simple. We bring together the two as often as possible to mock them and wish them ill luck, and then we plead for their help when we ourselves are afflicted. Today I deal with Drastlifars however.¡±


    ¡°Sajaitin.¡± A grave expression settled over Isarx''s features. ¡°This can be a complicated situation. Did you tell any well-meant untruths on behalf of that first person?¡±


    ¡°I did not.¡±


    The grave expression wandered off. ¡°Then whatever you choose is correct.¡±


    With another party confirming Keiminops''s claim in much the same terms, Dirant judged the matter settled. He repaid the helpful father by keeping him company until the game ended and then parted, wondering no longer about the correctness of assisting Keiminops but rather about the efficacy. He doubted his praise meant much to Onerid, even laundered through Takki.

 34. Espionage May Be Desirable At Any Time

    The Conscientious Citizen Is Encouraged To Learn The Techniques To Conduct Such


    His feet wandered as much as his mind and took him around the town, under bridge and over, past townsfolk who had to be assured there was nothing the Stanops''s guest and a sajaitin beside needed from them. If Dirant''s meandering took him around the empty guest houses, and if he happened to see where the servants deposited Helsodenk and Keiminops, by no means was he preparing to ambush them in their rooms and exact justice for their crimes or even convinced they had committed any worth punishing. It was only that collecting information came before understanding, he imagined the author of I Was A Captain-Inspector for Thirty Years wrote in there somewhere. Dirant''s Usse (Basic) stumbled when it came to both technical terms and slang, for which reason he had not studied the contents quite so thoroughly as Takki had hoped he would.


    Some passages had been clear enough, such as the tip that the person who looks to be up to something most often is. Dirant remembered that when he saw the uninspiring youth from before watching the northeastern gate from a narrow gap between two houses, a position suitable only for dishonest deeds. Furthermore, that born henchman retreated from the road when Poiskops and Keiminops passed by with their informal entourage, an action which amounted to ending a letter with ¡°or else¡± as far as signaling nefarious intent.


    The situation, it seemed to Dirant, called for Stansolt, or failing that Takki, but actually him on account of their absence. Unfortunate, given his class, but nevertheless it fell to him to observe the questionable fellow. If caught, he would not lie if he said he wanted to know where the man had bought his jacket. It included pockets on the sides and even the back. Since a Ritualist''s many tools need not be readily accessible so long as they were close by, the design attracted him.


    Dirant circled around the other side of that clump of houses. He had never tried to shadow anyone since childhood when at times he stalked his brothers around a park, but he supposed that to be the first step. Even the initial step demonstrated why the professionals earned however much they did, as it took much longer than he expected to find the alley''s other mouth among the closely placed houses.


    He sidled along the path''s gentle curve, careful that his first sight of his man should not be mutual while all the time imagining he had left already. But no, there he was, still endeavoring to be inconspicuous with such aggression that passersby paused to ask if he needed directions to certain facilities.


    ¡°I must remember,¡± Dirant concluded, ¡°that if becoming invisible to the Drastlifan public is my objective, the best way is to hire people with knives to chase me. Ah, and there is another warning to leave off from this course.¡±


    The sky, already far more white than blue when Dirant first conceived his plan, had grown gray and then darker gray. The roofs shielded Dirant when it started, but the gurgling sounds from the pipes running overhead let him know what was happening. Because he had left his umbrella in his room, another consequence of a life without back pockets, he tested the theory proposed by optimists that humanity would one day surpass language and deliver mental impressions to one another directly. ¡°Stay under the eaves,¡± he thought at his quarry as hard as he could. As for the outcome, he preferred to believe the failure came from the shady character''s poor Receptivity rather than any insufficiency of mental force on his part.


    As it was, the man walked to the gate and right on out. To follow a strange man likely bent on unscrupulous behavior outside town while alone, in the rain, would have been a bit much for Dirant even if there were someone around he wanted to impress. Obedient to the nudges of caution, he followed the target only a short way outside town, swerved aside, and waited to see if his backup would disappoint him.


    It did not. Two men strolled out as if the weather invited such nonchalance, one a blond Dvanjchtliv wearing an impressive Adaban-style hat which covered up his half-shaved head but did nothing about his mustache, the other a Drastlifar at a glance but really another Dvanjchtliv disguised by a country-appropriate beard and a masterful tan. Then his head turned and he looked like a Drastlifar again. No doubt that agent''s superiors thought his evident Drastlifarness was an advantage in operations, but in the field, his ambiguous heritage made him stand out all the more.


    That took care of security, and at a price impossible to better. Dirant therefore continued. The captain-inspector''s book had not yet instructed him in the best methods for shadowing someone out in the open, and so he devised his own technique of ambling in an arc to keep his man in sight without staying behind someone both shifty and a layman. As a mostly honest Ritualist, such unmerited deference would have been hard to bear.


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    For better viewing, Dirant kept as much as possible to the higher areas impossible for the most ecstatic poets to call hills on footpaths created by Koshat''s laborers through repeated use rather than artifice. The advantages of height went against the hindrances of rain, and for the time being it was an even contest. The mere drizzle was well within the capacity of a good Adaban hat to handle, although the increasing amount of mud impeded Dirant a trifle.


    Of course the weather worsened. Not a great deal, but combined with the howls which were drifting over the fields at that hour, even a Ritualist who possessed infinite attention when inscribing squiggly lines or demanding to be paid for it struggled to keep focus on his target. Justifications for giving up the search formed on the spot. How many enthusiasts of ancient battles and contemporary monsters had their actions misconstrued by people unable to understand their interest? Perhaps the young man was one such. He saved his pay for months just as he saved those little whiskers he expected to transform one day into a beard. Finally he could afford to take a trip, or rather a pilgrimage, to Koshat Dreivis, the mine that held the one kind of silver he desired, only to have some Ritualist able to jaunt all over the continent at a big company''s expense designate him as an undesirable character. Injustice had come to Drastlif along with the Adaban.


    Surely that was possible. Dirant was inventing another intricate scenario when a particularly fierce eruption from the direction of the marsh, a crack like that which Chisops Dogai-Brein attributed to the marsh kings startled him into a soaked patch of the path. He scrambled up with every point of his 44 Coordination, a number universally agreed to be ¡°not terrible,¡± and hurried to regain sight of his quarry in full expectation that he would succeed. Expectations play traitor every day. When he came near the trees between the marsh and the useful fields without finding the man, he at last accepted Ritualists ought never to act in secret.


    Though already certain of his failure, Dirant recalled some of his father''s advice and how successful was the man who gave it. He could not do better, he decided, than to give himself the opportunity to succeed by walking north to the main road at least before he threw over the whole thing and walked back to town while deliberating whether to tell anyone about the pointless outing. A better choice might be to look in on Sajaitin Igwodan-Tin and hear the hidden truths of Drastlifan Ritualists, if there were any, which he doubted.


    Fences and other evidence of civilization annoying to the traveler, however useful to the cultivator, sent Dirant far off his northerly course at times, with the result that he had lost any idea of where he might be when shouts and sounds of struggle reached his ears. Despite the rain, the wind, and all the monsters to the east, there was no question of those troubling noises being anything but human.


    Dirant arrested himself with a powerful step that splashed mud halfway up his leg, a circumstance which, if he were lucky, he would be able to complain about later. Off to the left, he concluded after listening. Heading right seemed then a much better idea than it had before. Already he heard a confused mess of splashing and cursing that must be caused by more than two people. The more that were involved in a tussle, the less a Ritualist mattered to it, and that from a low starting position. Moreover, was there even a party he wished to assist? He was ignorant of the participants, the controversy between them, and the lethality with which they pursued it.


    The thing to do was escape and pray that he might run into a convenient Battler or Tiger Knight capable of imposing a resolution on the participants. Even that seemed fraught, since the closest might be a late participant on his way to the brouhaha and unwilling to leave anyone uninvolved. Perhaps to stand still in silence was his best option, much as when a manager asked who loved overtime the most.


    The final recourse in such a mire of uncertainty and violence must be class abilities. Since Dirant retained in his Ritual Memory nothing so convenient as a Preserve Me from Danger Ritual, he dared for the first time to employ his Divine Guidance (Hunch) on purpose. A phrase to be subjected to the whole of his concentration formed in his mind, ¡°Guide me whither it is best I go,¡± and if that did not trigger the ability, Holzd ought to have provided instructions.


    The exercise confirmed one fact immediately. The terrible dread that had moved Dirant to pray for poor Delaosant Paspaklest had certainly issued from his Divine Guidance (Hunch), for though he did not have to endure a repetition, something quite unlike any regular feeling filled him as if a second body at all times overlapped his own but could not be detected until supernatural emanations caused it to vibrate and scrape against his material form.


    His concentration almost broke because of the strange sensation, but he maintained it until he could make out the meaning or invent a plausible interpretation thereof. Certainly not terror or foreboding, and not the joy of salvation or relief of escape either, but rather an impression came upon him as if there were two theaters on opposite sides of a street, each bragging of a different play. The one bore a title crafted by an author charmed by his own wit and breadth of reading, and the other was called something which described the contents. Which way to go was consequently obvious.


    The way indicated went left, straight toward the disorder he wanted to avoid. The epithets Dirant liked to devise for his god became for a moment less flattering. Even so, the theological treatises he had read since he first saw Holzd put forth excellent arguments that one ought to trust in the divine wholly or not at all. The management advice current in Fennizen advised the same, with certain terms replaced.

 35. The Proper Response To Danger

    First, Reflect On What Led You To Your Current Straits. Second, Devise A Plan To Avoid Such Circumstances In The Future


    Anyone watching Dirant Rikelta then, and he strongly hoped nobody was, would have seen nothing but a muddy young man stand still for about ten seconds. That observer next would have seen that Ritualist hurl himself into the suspected fray after the fashion of his class, hunched over and scuttling sideways as if to squeeze himself between members of a busy road crew whom he wished not to disturb on account of his appreciation of the importance of public works.


    How he advanced notwithstanding, he did, until he saw one figure squirming on the ground and three others still standing tall, one especially so. That man either belonged to the Brawny Knight class or threatened its monopoly on hugeness, for so extravagantly thick were his arms and chest that at least one tinker surely had knocked on him by mistake and asked to see the lady or gentleman of the house. He had shaved his head and moved the leftovers down to his lip, for his dark mustache could not otherwise have achieved such magnificence, and altogether he looked quite Tandish as far as Dirant could determine based on the occasional sighting and portrait of that people from Geft east across the ocean.


    The other two required no examination. They were his Dvanjchtliv friends, and they were having a hard time. The Drastlifar-looking one approached the Tand with a dagger and left with nothing, knocked aside by a single blow. While he struggled not to fall over entirely, the more obvious Dvanjchtliv of the pair pelted the giant with any pebble he could find and did more with them than rude children ever managed. Red spots were popping up all over the exposed sections of the Tand''s body and his white shirt became rags, but he took no more notice of that than did a non-Brawny Knight when the gymnasiums closed early because of a holiday.


    The Tand moved to finish off the stumbler, who bent over farther for a handful of mud he flung at his enemy. Nothing about Brawny Knights, either their abilities or their temperament, demanded they take everything that came at them straight on for all that they typically were capable of it, and so the Tand shifted to let the attack splash over his side. Unfortunately for him, the dagger mixed in with the muck would have been better avoided altogether.


    It seemed certain both the Noiswawauan agents belonged to elite combat classes. The probability a single Brawny Knight could beat both had to be low, but his prospects of accomplishing his objective and effecting an escape were a different thing. He at least figured it that way to judge from how he turned away from both Dvanjchtlivs and toward the man on the ground.


    When he saw yet another man in that direction, he recalculated his odds to the highest precision possible given that he knew nothing of the newcomer''s class or intentions. In the end he sneered, withdrew the dagger without regard for any pain he may not have even felt, launched it toward the pebble-thrower, sent a wave of mud at the other with a stomp worthy of several stanzas in a heroic poem, and ran. The muscled speed of a trained Brawny Knight was too much for the battered Dvanjchtlivs to contest, and perhaps they were happy to have the affair end in such a way.


    The newcomer who altered the situation by his presence alone began to slide himself away, softly, quietly, so as not to disturb the senior participants, but courtesy taken too far or applied at the wrong time may become rudeness. The Dvanjchtlivs had already seen him, and to deny them the chance to display their own gentle manners was therefore unconscionable. Their demeanors implied all that as they approached Dirant, and so he greeted them after all.


    ¡°Hello, Eizesl,¡± he said, and for the first time realized he did not know the plural of eizesl. If it had one. It ended like an adverb, but that made no sense. ¡°They say the weather always gets worse than you think it will, and so it has. The road is making itself so hard to find! I will leave you to your business and keep looking.¡± He used Drastlimez because he had no reason to suppose they spoke Adaban and good reason to pretend not to recognize them as foreign Dvanjchtlivs rather than the grandchildren of immigrants who came to Drastlif in consequence of mercenary work and stayed because they preferred the climate. In addition, his clumsiness in Drastlimez gave his speech an endearing buffoonish quality, he hoped.


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    Whatever the success of his ploy, all three interrupted themselves to look at the man on the ground when he groaned. Doing so gave Dirant a sharper shock than the first time he successfully completed a ritual, and it may not have been his imagination that the Dvanjchtlivs inhaled and stepped back as well. The victim, they saw, was Poiskops Bodan-Tin.


    Any possibility of extricating himself from a simple private dispute vanished like ghosts kept doing whenever people tried to confirm their existence. An assassination attempt aimed at one of Drastlif''s oligarchs could be made more serious only if the perpetrators decided to do away with the Ritualist witness, which doubtless the Brawny Knight would have done given a chance. That was if Dirant''s interpretation of the scene held. If instead his Dvanjchtlivan friends, his buddies, his compatriots, had not just prevented one murder, they were about to commit two. Still, Dirant trusted himself, and he trusted his Fascination Ritual too. Recalling the non-word loojweirloo which would complete said ritual and mesmerize them unless they beat the stat check as was distressingly possible, he said, ¡°The Stanops! What can we do for him?¡±


    ¡°Are you a doctor, Eizesl?¡± asked the bearded one. He and Dirant were alike in pretending not to know things. Perhaps they might establish a beautiful concord after all. ¡°If not, run to town straightaway, ere his time passes.¡±


    That sounded like a paraphrase of a Dvanjchtlivan epic poem to Dirant. Not the Beisgaignu; the Drajvignu, perhaps. Did Noiswawau train its agents who operated in Drastlif to make literary allusions sure to reveal their origins? An unconventional tactic. Possibly it helped them identify one another. Spycraft notwithstanding, Dirant questioned an element of the proposal. ¡°I am neither a doctor nor a runner, and you bold fighters must be swifter than I am. Should you not go yourself?¡±


    The Dvanjchtlivs looked at each other and laughed. The mustachioed one nodded, whereupon Eizesl Beard dashed off at a speed which fully justified Dirant''s surmise about their comparative qualifications for the task. That left Eizesl Mustache as a conversational partner. Dirant tried to talk to Poiskops instead. ¡°How do you feel, Stanops? Is there anything we can do? Is thirst a problem?¡±


    Since Poiskops tried to reach up at that last question, the answer might be presumed to be ¡°yes.¡± Dirant unhooked a canteen an authoritative guide to travel in Drastlif advised all travelers to keep about them at all times because the heat made itself a sudden and dangerous enemy when it wished. Evidently the Dvanjchtliv had read the same guide, for both offered water to the poor, though rich, coughing man.


    Eizesl Mustache pulled back. ¡°You do that while I look for an umbrella I think I saw,¡± he suggested. That was done, with Dirant being careful to tip the water in at a manageable rate while the operative searched through the mud and damp while asking, in Adaban for the other''s convenience, ¡°Now, Eizesl, between men who sound awkward whatsoever we say in this foreign land, tell me an honest word. Do you believe that, if we wanted to work our evil will on a fallen man, that you could stop us? I mean this as a thought experiment. If not, does sending one of us away do anything? This is a personality test for new acquaintances. I go by Ebringsawm Ulzchorgnu, by the way.¡±


    ¡°This meeting is a blessing for me. I am Dirant Rikelta. Ah, to prevent any evil will is far from my mind, and to dare think you possess any such is too much. A far different matter is a mercenary will that demands recompense for aid provided free of compulsion or request. My presence may hinder that, if only because I offer an inferior alternative at a lower price. Though unable to win many fights, I can turn this noble man a bit to lessen the intake of rain, which is a convenience at least. Of course I say nothing about winning a favor myself. Now I must in turn test you. There are three doors in front of you, and you are asked to pick one. The rest escapes me.¡±


    ¡°I draw my saber and slay the man who dares offer me insolent commands, like a conqueror. You I know would open all three; if anyone objected, you would proclaim how aggrieved you feel as you kick him in the stomach. That''s the Adaban way. What would someone like you want to get? Are you a man of business?¡±


    Though Ebringsawm knew exactly what Dirant did, he could hardly complain about deception and still consider himself a fair-minded man, and so he did not. Dirant met that honest spirit with words of his own that were not lies as such. ¡°In fact there are negotiations underway already, and so it is ugly to say more. How fast would you say that other man is?¡± He might have said ¡°your colleague,¡± but without knowing their cover story, he hated to impose.


    ¡°I''d estimate that having long since found a doctor, he''s almost to the gate if he has to carry him or a little past it if the doctor takes his own advice about regular physical activity.¡±


    ¡°There must be one of those somewhere,¡± Dirant said, and both laughed. Their cultures, it seemed, overlapped in certain regions. Far more of them than their neighbors liked.

 36. The Complexity Of Benevolence Is Sadly Underestimated

    For Instance, The Character Of The Persons Being Assisted Deserves More Consideration Than Often It Is Given


    ¡°Found one.¡± The Dvanjchtliv wiped the umbrella off in a patch of grass as thoroughly as circumstances allowed and held it over Poiskops Bodan-Tin, who shortly recovered sufficiently to talk, if not to haggle over the compensation for emergency services rendered which neither of his helpers actually wanted. That arrangement persisted until the runner, Iischipl Neurgsivaj according to Ebringsawm, who may have said that to get a laugh out of the Adaban and if so suffered disappointment, returned with a slight Drastlifar hoisted over shoulders which may have been narrow by Brawny Knight standards but no other.


    ¡°By the beneficence of the gods, no lasting harm has been done, Stanops,¡± Doctor Petarun Bavan-Ston reported after his examination. The patient remained perfectly still during it, a testament less to the fortitude of Poiskops than to his wisdom in hiring Subjugators for medical positions.


    ¡°Everything to them,¡± Poiskops responded. That was a religious formula which did not prevent him from acknowledging the instruments gods employed to manifest their blessings. ¡°I thank all you fellows for your help, for as they say, more piteous than the beggar is the man prevented by well-meaning fortune from receiving from others what they in all kindness give. Did anyone see the failure well enough to identify him? This rain, this rain. Obviously I won''t ask what you were all doing out here.¡±


    Language and culture notwithstanding, Dirant understood the order and obeyed. ¡°The coincidence is that I left Koshat because I saw someone acting strangely, and yet I came across this attack which had nothing to do with that.¡±


    ¡°We were doing the same,¡± Iischipl said, ¡°except that, you''ll think my words an invention, it was this very fellow here we thought suspicious! That''s the cost of doubting someone. The distrust aimed at others is returned five times over.¡± There was the Drajvignu again. Dirant doubted he even realized he was quoting it.


    The Dvanjchtlivs and the Adaban concurred in their description of the Tandish, Brawny Knighty attack, which lent their testimony weight. There was a saying about that exact possibility, Takki had once told him. ¡°When the wolf and the fox sign a peace, the chicken should remember how to fly.¡± Clearly the chicken represented falsehood while the wolf and the fox were the truth-tellers of those two tribes.


    ¡°A Tand? What Tand did I offend, what Tand did I wrong? The consolation has to be that it''s some private quarrel and nothing to do with your master,¡± he nodded toward the Dvanjchtlivs, ¡°or your company''s legally protected processes,¡± and that toward Dirant. I would ask that we all restrict this information to the most relevant people. Security, lawyers in charge of our wills, and that sort of person.¡±


    ¡°Such was my intention from the beginning,¡± Dirant assured him, and the foxes expressed similar sentiments.


    ¡°And so I must of course request the same of you, though I would never declare such a provision were I the intended victim.¡± With those words did Dirant conclude his summary of the situation for the benefit of Millim Takki Atsa, a security expert who worked for free, disregarding meals and tickets to the occasional show. In Koshat Dreivis however, Poiskops Bodan-Tin alone paid and everyone else might enjoy as he wished. It was better to wish for exactly what he provided, as offending the Stanops was something best avoided.


    ¡°I understand that completely. You have to think that''s a common occurrence for an oligarch, don''t you? How many times do you think someone tries to murder him per annum?¡± Takki finished her stretching and set up the flat rug shaped like a human she planned to stab repeatedly with a dagger. ¡°I''m still only Advanced in Dagger, and it''s a handy weapon in cities,¡± she had explained.


    Her shadow lay long across the park so early in the morning. Nobody else used the place then, since for all the munificence of the Stanops, the citizens still had to work. Tourists did not, and Stadeskosken employees created value simply by existing, or so one might conclude from Poiskops Bodan-Tin''s rapid acceptance of the terms set forth by Onerid. Her surprise might have been lessened had she known of its Itinerant Ritualist''s role in foiling an assassination attempt, but Dirant had not so informed her. He declined to take advantage of an incidental service he hoped never to repeat. Besides, Poiskops knew.


    Dirant sat on a planting wall to watch. ¡°It must vary according to whether the Permissive Council sits that year. Taking into account taxation periods, the annual convoy from Geft, and seasonal turbulence such as the Spring Storm, an average of two and three parts out of ten is my estimate.¡±


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    ¡°I can see that. I''d guess most of those attempts are a man charging at him in the street yelling ''Give me back my money!'' and never getting within spear distance. And there''s no spear. That''s a little different from hiring a Brawny Knight to assault him when he''s outside for some reason when it''s almost night.¡±


    ¡°That apparently is a habit of his and nothing odd. Mr. Neurgsivaj told us that the doctor''s first reaction was to say a malady must have come upon the oligarch during one of his evening walks. That wool man is losing integrity at a rapid rate.¡±


    ¡°Thank you. So who knows about that? Please forget I asked that. It has to be everybody in town aside from us. We do think that Tand was hired by another person I''m going to call the mastermind even if you laugh at me, don''t we?¡±


    ¡°We do, erroneously as it may be.¡±


    ¡°All right. I''m glad I wasn''t getting out there on my own. Keiminops Bodan-Tin.¡±


    ¡°You think so? It is plausible there is a benefit to him if his uncle dies, and I have no grounds to dismiss him wholly, but the conclusion is swift and the benefits to him not sure.¡±


    ¡°No, I mean, there he is.¡± She gestured with her dagger, frowned, and gestured with her non-dagger hand. Some actions are rude even if the person in question cannot see them.


    Her observation was true. Keiminops Bodan-Tin had not thrown himself into the day-long if not night-long leisure of the dissolute scion depicted in so many periodicals but rather was up early and speaking with a cluster of Drastlifars who smiled at everything he said. Those friends of the family departed one by one, most for the northern gates and a few toward the docks.


    ¡°All right, Ressi. The two best times to interrogate a suspect are when he''s just gotten up and when he yearns to go to bed. Get everything you can, but most important is . . .¡± She stabbed a woolen heart, thoughtfully. ¡°Try to find out if his uncle told him about the attack. That will tell us the most about the domestic situation. Do you think it''s rude to ask who''s likeliest to be voted head of the family if Stanops Poiskops dies?¡±


    ¡°Yes, and so he might enjoy the question. I must feel it out.¡±


    Keiminops Bodan-Tin had just sent the last helpful man off when Dirant wandered over, by chance of course. The chance came from a decision made with coinflip odds whether to arrive before the instructions finished so as to eavesdrop or not. Dirant opted for the latter; that was no way to endear himself to Keiminops, who surely would notice and probably resent it.


    ¡°Good morning, Eizesl.¡±


    ¡°Good morning, Sajaitin. This is only a suggestion made to me, but do you have the address of a law firm which deals with arrangements to use proprietary food preparation methods? Oh, just like that? Thank you, Sajaitin.¡± Keiminops accepted the slip Dirant had prepared beforehand at Poiskops''s suggestion. ¡°Now that we''ve exchanged gifts, we''re friends inseparable and eternal. You may not have read enough of our romanticized histories to understand that, but it''s true. Does the revelation affect your stance on that other issue?¡±


    ¡°No, because friendship and the demands of society are sometimes opposed, and true friends are aware of that. I have none of those myself of course. As for society, I inquired as you proposed despite knowing you likely did not expect me to go through with it. I found enough support for your position to accept it as standard Drastlifan practice. And so. How may I assist you and what are your merits? I see you are busy in the morning. Is industry a strong point of yours?¡±


    ¡°Sajaitin, sometimes people tell me I work too hard. You see yourself I spent several minutes relaying Uncle''s instructions. That''s but one example of my activities. I don''t have a second I can show you, but we can walk around and wear the serious expressions of serious people.¡± While Keiminops led them on a stroll, nodding and grunting occasionally, Dirant began his sly interrogation.


    ¡°What sort of instructions require a nephew to tell other people how to act? The reverse is more usual, unless the purpose behind it is to accustom the family hangers-on to receiving your commands.¡±


    ¡°Woksan''s pointing finger, I never thought of that. I reckoned I needed to carry off my latest enterprise conceived in all optimism and more ambition to have a chance, but maybe . . .¡± It seemed Dirant was providing information to Keiminops rather than the other way around, but you had to feed cows before you milked them. In any case, it appeared that Keiminops did not believe himself to be the favored candidate in the next Bodan-Tin leadership election. Not until then at least.


    Their trip ended at the popcorn pavilion. There must be some message in that, Dirant supposed. What it might be he did not know, and neither was he prepared for Keiminops to pivot and place unyielding hands on his shoulders and to look upon him with eyes that could benefit from a blink or two. They were starting to look terribly red, like a dramatic representation of an avenging spirit. ¡°I can''t tell you my plan for sound commercial reasons, Sajaitin. What sorrow! We''re expected to say that even though I''m actually excited about it. It''s big enough that I can''t do it myself, not even with all the Bodan-Tins behind me. They won''t be, not even if they catch an illness that gives them Uncle''s enthusiasm, and absolutely not as the ship now rocks. The people Egille goes to persuade to cross the ocean beautiful and dreadful both all say they''ve cultivated the virtue of contentment instead, and where is your Greater Enloffenkir with that history behind it? But I''m not resourceless. I also have friends somehow, and Uncle has friends, which are the same thing. I''m making progress. The most important thing right now is to follow up on the lead Eizeur Helsodenk gave me.¡±

 37. The Pleasure Of Conversation

    Some Claim To Experience Such A Phenomenon, But There Is Ample Reason To Doubt Its Existence


    ¡°Ah, and is Mr. Helsodenk a friend of yours, of the Stanops, or simply a business associate?¡±


    ¡°Let''s combine the two and say he was a business associate of Uncle''s some time ago. The Eizeur worried he wasn''t remembered fondly and asked me as sole guerdon for the service he did me that I write seeking an invitation. The response came so readily that I think his fears incorrect, entirely justified as they were. I don''t betray my country if I admit some relationships last longer than others here, that there is convenience in much of what we do.¡±


    Keiminops had relaxed his grip and lessened his staring intensity by then, and so Dirant felt free to lean against a gazebo support and speak casually. ¡°Should you emphasize that after declaring us friends?¡±


    ¡°What''s that advice again? ''Be honest until you''re sure the lies are worth it.'' You can trust me for now. I only knew Eizeur Helsodenk by rumor, but he earned my eternal gratitude when he suggested we would not be thrown out if we went to that history festival, where . . . Wasn''t that your company? Were you there?¡±


    ¡°I was one of the reenactors, yes.¡±


    Keiminops frowned. ¡°I''m not sure what that means, and lying about it isn''t worth it.¡±


    ¡°A person who acts out something which has already been done.¡±


    ¡°A reenactor then. There''s a gift of Drastlimez for you. Did you have an important part? Who gave the speech that made the riot-minders fidget?¡± By this point Keiminops had reverted entirely to the urbane gentleman. Dirant regretted that, since urbanity went along well with avoiding questions, but to stand still while having fingers dig into his shoulders had its own drawbacks. A painter would have trouble getting both their faces in the double portrait, for example.


    ¡°It was Branch Manager Hadolt Herafoken, and our translator Onkallant Paspaklest provided the Drastlimez version. The answer to what you are about to ask is yes, and you may confess now if you already knew.¡±


    ¡°I don''t know how common a family name that is, so I''m allowed to say I didn''t know.¡±


    ¡°It is not an extraordinary name in any way.¡±


    Keiminops nodded. ¡°I''ll make a confession by proxy too, for before coming here the Eizeur had already seen Seifis Onerid . . . that feels odd, like putting your hands in your pockets and finding somebody else''s things in there.¡±


    Dirant raised his right arm in a deliberate manner with elbow bent at an angle more than one ritual demanded for the delivery of the invocation. ¡°Here is a gift in return. It is a dispensation of Adabanness. Today you may say either Seifis Paspaklest or Miss Onerid as you wish. Tomorrow an application to the embassy for an extension is required.¡±


    ¡°I''ll ask Uncle to get the fee waived. I remember when Mr. Helsodenk, I''m exploiting my permit there, remarked that he saw a colleague''s daughter among the festive masses and said he was reluctant even to approach her that he might ask how her father fared. An old man walking up to him was ever a disagreeable occasion in his youth, and he didn''t think much had changed.¡±


    ¡°And he recognized her, though now an adult and then a child? I presume. I have no idea when he saw her last.¡±


    ¡°Neither do I, but if you find Uncle''s portrait in the house, it''s a miracle how little some change. Others, though. I grew up hearing about how Sajaitin Igwodan-Tin was once the pinnacle of what nature can give to man so often that I ran away from home to escape it. I drifted to a house of prayer and consolation. The old priest there said I reminded him of that handsome Igwodan-Tin boy, which did make me feel better. Have you met him, Sajaitin? Mr. Dirant?¡±


    ¡°I thought I did, but now I question it.¡±


    ¡°The years squeezed him remorselessly. I thought nothing of Mr. Helsodenk''s remark except that it was a chance for me to do someone a favor, and a Bodan-Tin dies if we go too long without. I introduced myself since it was private . . . Mr. Dirant? Are you feeling all right?¡±


    ¡°An unsolved puzzle came to mind suddenly. Please ignore it.¡±


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    ¡°A man looking for investors once told me puzzles are about to return to the high seat of low trends, and maybe it''s happened. Uncle looked much the same this morning, Eizesl Bavan-Ston at his shoulder the whole time. Why am I talking so much?¡±


    ¡°My employers assigned me nothing today. Perhaps it is the same for you, or?¡±


    ¡°You reminded me I wanted to look busy. Come on.¡± Keiminops began a tour of the town. Not that there was anything he needed to see; rather, the townsfolk needed a chance to see a Bodan-Tin now and then, hourly if possible. ¡°What''s odd is that the one task I was given, I didn''t understand. I don''t think the temple repairs need to be rushed. You''re an important person come into Dreivis for reasons indispensable to the world''s best functioning.¡±


    ¡°That is correct, Eizesl.¡±


    ¡°Now you''re a different person of the same description.¡±


    ¡°Just like that? What an amazing country.¡±


    ¡°It truly is. Do you notice the temple at all unless the earth has half-reclaimed it already? Think, but the answer is that you don''t. Do you notice the temple if it''s under repair, the workers about and crass? It''s far more likely that you will. Uncle''s behaving as if no meeting of persons heavy in their step has ever benefited from his involvement before. Maybe these are heavier than he let me think, but it isn''t as if the king of Chtrebliseu is coming.¡± His attempt to disguise exasperation with humor came off as downright whiny, but Dirant ignored that. He was thinking the king of Chtrebliseu sounded about the right sort of eminence.


    ¡°Ah, and so you dispatched messengers to inform the work crews of this?¡±


    ¡°That''s right. We don''t usually put it that way, but today I''m an honorary Adaban.¡±


    If Dirant were an employee of a company which at times saw reason to conceal security personnel as common laborers, he might have suspected the temple repairmen to be guards called up for the upcoming conference, their schedule altered after the attempt on the oligarch''s life. So he did. Taking that as fact, the significance could have eluded Keiminops only provided Poiskops had chosen not to tell him. That answered Takki''s question, but since Dirant still had nothing else to do, he continued the surreptitious investigation.


    ¡°A single day however is too little to grow out your sideburns as you must. The hairline we will correct with a comb.¡±


    Keiminops did not run a hand through his hair, but he did look a bit worried. Then he ran a hand through Dirant''s hair. ¡°Does Miss Onerid prefer this style?¡±


    ¡°That may be something I can find out through inquiry. My guess is that she does not.¡±


    ¡°I''d be grateful. I was going to tell you what happened when I talked to her that evening, but what purpose has it? You can see the aftermath yourself, happy or unhappy as it may become. I thought I was in love once before, you know.¡±


    ¡°Either more often than that or never are what the rumors say. It depends upon the charitable feelings of the speaker.¡±


    Keiminops brushed that aside and wiped it in Dirant''s hair. ¡°I''m as much of an ignorant man tripping through life as any, and even I know those rumors and how they started. I ignored the daughters various families threw across the pure and narrow path of true love, the shoals to starboard and to port the cliffs. They decided it''s better to be wronged by a Bodan-Tin than ignored, and I don''t say they''re mistaken.¡±


    ¡°Certainly not in public,¡± Dirant noted. Anyone could overhear them without approaching, and a great deal of approaching happened. The locals hesitated not even the width of that paper Takki tried to pass through the wall to greet the Stanops''s nephew, chat with him, invite him to drop by so he might look over their new plates, and ask whether there was anything to this Akard-Velgsin process.


    ¡°We''re speaking Adaban,¡± Keiminops reminded. ¡°But only you are thinking in it. I announce a plan to murder every other stanops before seizing tyrannical power and every last Drastlifar here will both deny hearing it and offer to help. What''s this boasting? I wanted to express and be humble for once, and you stopped me. I won''t ever try again. The point is, I don''t have any reason to praise my judgment and scoff at theirs. I spent so long on that torturing path, but now that I''ve met Miss Onerid, I can''t even remember her name.¡±


    ¡°Whose name?¡±


    ¡°Seifis Ies Liolops-Bols-Daigin, now Barais Ies Stin-Ston.¡± Most Adabans strove at some stage in their lives to master a flawless straight delivery. Many succeeded and many more deluded themselves that they had, but to find someone who could tell a joke about a love lost to another man and not even twitch was beyond Dirant''s experience. Donnlink Espahalpt had tried once and delayed the day''s research for the twenty minutes he needed to recover himself. That was an impressive performance if Keiminops''s story was true, and on that basis alone Dirant put his faith in it.


    Beyond that, Dirant was by then convinced that either Keiminops had nothing to do with the attack or Poiskops deserved it. Perhaps oligarchical families engaged in that species of behavior as a matter of course. If Takki practiced with her weapons despite being Peerless in a couple of them, why should the elite not keep its skills honed? And what was shameful if Dirant Rikelta, being a commercial Ritualist and a son of noted Fennizen Entrepreneur Haderslant Rikelta, tried to find out more about a possible business opportunity? No one ever blamed a mole for digging.


    ¡°We must discuss your virtues still. Your confidence in your future enterprise is well understood, but will the outsider call it real ambition or only a dream? Details distinguish the foolish from the reticent, and it may be the same here.¡±


    ¡°I''m told I''m not so picky about food as at first I appear,¡± Keiminops said. By doing so he at the same time preserved his business secrets and prompted Dirant to realize he did look like someone apt to raise his eyebrows at anything a man paid a daily or weekly wage would eat.


    Nothing about that information helped, however. ¡°Is that an attractive quality, or? Perhaps it is preferable to return to the ambitious part. Ah, before that, a demand is to be made on your attention.¡±


    ¡°Or on yours.¡±


    ¡°Everything of mine belongs to you, though only for the next hour or so.¡±

 38. Acquaintances Gather

    When Such Occurs, Seek The Nearest Exit Consistent With Politeness


    What prompted that exchange was a Drastlifar. There was nothing odd about that, but the manner in which he looked around, perked up when he saw them, and cleaved through the crowd like a piano pushed by Stadeskosken''s finest showed unmistakable signs of intent. That the message proved to be for Eizesl Bodan-Tin in no way proved Dirant wrong in suggesting the opposite possibility. For instance, suppose Posmeterin Igwodan-Tin wished to consult a colleague on a tricky situation involving vertical rituals, or Stansolt Gaomat had contrived to send a message from the cell where the foreign agent he was investigating had trapped him.


    The actual matter at hand involved an armiger waiting at the entrance to Koshat Dreivis. ¡°We have confirmation from the Stanops that the Eizesl was invited, but Eizesl Bavan-Ston has forbidden the Stanops from leaving his house before he is satisfied, and you know how doctors can be.¡±


    ¡°From rumor, since my perfect health keeps me away from them. Does that sound like a good boast, Sajaitin? Start with that one and follow it up with an account of how ably I handle social situations such as this, unanticipated but nothing much for me.¡± Certainly he was adept enough at switching from GE-style addresses to the Drastlif type when speaking in front of the natives. With that, Keiminops made for the gate, the sycophant and the Drastlifar with him. Along the way he asked the messenger, ¡°What shield bears he, or is it known to you?¡±


    ¡°Nein-Cadops-Bain, or I know less than I thought.¡±


    ¡°A relief. I doubt a Nein-Cadops-Bain plans to tattle on us over the poor state of our temple. This will take but an inch of time, Sajaitin.¡±


    Measuring time in inches had never occurred to Dirant before, but there was that wrestling clock. Some live wrestling might enliven Koshat Dreivis soon if that Nein-Cadops-Bain had the first name he expected. That was none of his business, fortunately. For the rest of the short walk to the gate, Dirant debated with himself the propriety of a prayer thanking Holzd, god of complexity but not emotional complexity, for giving him some honest murders and secret negotiations to occupy him instead of matchmaking. Though unacceptable in broader society, the sentiment might please his god.


    Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain, as predicted, stood outside Koshat Dreivis in accordance with the protocol established among Drastlif''s upper crust after too many unfortunate misunderstandings. Just as properly, Keiminops walked outside, grabbed Loigwin''s hand, and dragged him inside while introducing himself. To further the cause of politeness, Loigwin made sure to greet Dirant himself rather than allow Keiminops to suffer the embarrassing situation of introducing two people already introduced. ¡°Hello, Sajaitin Rikelta,¡± he said.


    ¡°Hello, Eizesl Nein-Cadops-Bain.¡± If that seemed a perfunctory greeting, it was only due to the gathered host of people who expected the nearest Bodan-Tin to get them in with important personages such as whoever this young man with the red square on his shield was. Contrary to Keiminops''s optimism and through no malice on Loigwin''s part, the session ended no sooner than hours later, and only then because the Bodan-Tin in charge insisted on having the town''s second doctor take a look at the important visitor''s much-pressed hand.


    Loigwin''s heroic wrist recovered in time for him to accept a noon tea invitation from Stanops Bodan-Tin, who made injuries, maladies, and destructive behavior the focus of his conversation, though naturally without disclosing the true source of Petarun Bavan-Ston''s concern.


    ¡°But I asked him if I was alive or not, and if he wanted to keep his position, he had to admit I wasn''t a ghost quite yet. Eizeur! I''m not sure we''re honest if we say the same about you. Where have you been?¡±


    Helsodenk Nifkleskir had also been invited despite his excellent health. He smiled, sort of, and answered Poiskops. ¡°Arvawesk. It is true I have done nothing to make my acquaintances aware of the latest doings there such as the dispute over which puppy had been promised to whom. The matter consumed our community for days. Pardon me. Does anyone know Arvawesk?¡± Dirant raised his free hand. ¡°There, I have a witness. Has anything ever happened in Arvawesk that you know, Mr. Dirant?¡±


    ¡°Mr. Helsodenk, it is well understood that the inhabitants of that state prefer that nothing happen. Even replacing their statesmen or passing new laws is more than they like to do.¡±


    ¡°Just so.¡± Helsodenk accepted the confirmation.


    Another invitee, Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain, asked, ¡°Do you enjoy living there, Eizeur?¡±


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    ¡°Very much so, compared to dying here,¡± Helsodenk answered and thereby established himself as the acerbic one who delivered the punchlines and Loigwin as the straight man in the comedy group they had just formed without the intention or assent of either member. The goal of the other guests became to elicit more sharp exchanges, and if it was the duty of a host to prevent that sort of thing, he must also oblige the people he troubled with his invitations.


    Helsodenk dodged most such attempts as adroitly as his clients hoped he did the laws. Whether he did so to spare Loigwin or to avoid giving others what they wanted without receiving monetary recompense was for each to judge for himself. Regardless, he directed the conversation to a different channel.


    ¡°But Eizesl Nein-Cadops-Bain, I am told, as I remember now I must begin any assertion in this country, that you are acquainted with Onkallant Paspaklest, whose father I know from ambassadorial work. How may I reach him at this moment, do you know?¡±


    ¡°If your wish is to write to him in Dubwasef, I can . . . well, not right at this moment. He left the city on business about the same time as I did. But if waiting won''t make despair of your hopes, I can give you his address later.¡±


    ¡°My hopes aren''t so fragile as that, Eizesl. It takes many blows to wreck them.¡±


    Drastlif''s addresses were a troublesome thing. By refusing to name either buildings or streets, the people of that country reduced their direction-givers to specifying some combination of the location''s color, the direction its door faces, and its proximity to a handy landmark such as a displayed coat of arms or an elaborate clock. While an Adaban might scrawl ¡°fourth left Suchandso Lane¡± on a napkin, Loigwin''s offer amounted to a promise of a short essay.


    Just as the farmer knows when to harvest, probably, and the chef when to turn the meat, or so the customers hoped, the social reformer must recognize the moment to put forth his proposal. Tea with an oligarch seemed an unbeatable moment for Dirant to propose the idea he had been revolving to facilitate navigation without erasing Drastlif''s deep cultural traditions: put up banners hanging from posts to function as landmarks. ¡°That will preserve the privacy of the streets and allow neighborhoods to adopt their favorite historical figures or animals as patrons. The sole problem is how to make use of the time saved.¡±


    A better moment, he soon learned, was one without the oligarch''s nephew present. ¡°The past is certain, they say. Sometimes the future is surer still. The markers become bigger and bigger as families compete in augmenting the grandeur of their surroundings. Soon the houses cannot be seen, directions become harder to give, and our revenues once thought sufficient are exhausted in a month. We celebrate but for one day our outrageous ornaments built at a cost too dear, and on the next the Dvanjchtlivs invade. The end of Drastlif.¡±


    ¡°I concur,¡± Helsodenk remarked, ¡°as to pessimism with regard to improvements and their chances of being adopted here.¡± For all that the guests consoled Dirant over the failure of his plan to win acclaim, he did not consider himself to be the target of the harshest criticism given during that tea.


    When the affair ended, Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain immediately dropped his comedy partnership, a promising career which regrettably failed to match in dignity his social position, and dragged Dirant Rikelta to the emptiest area he first ran across to renew their association.


    ¡°Seeing you here and viewing a harbor surrounded by a well-peopled town where abundant are supplies are the same thing, Sajaitin,¡± began Loigwin in his usual effusive fashion. ¡°Now relieve my last worry, and what more will I be able to say? Seifis Paspaklest is here, safe, and the Stanops has not taken offense at some word or deed of hers are the notes of the music I wish to hear.¡± Loigwin''s grip conceded more to the grabbed person''s comfort than that of Keiminops, but his terrible expression, like that of someone whose private book of poetry has been discovered, perturbed Dirant even more.


    He perceived the cause of Loigwin''s anxiety and accordingly forgave him the unsightly display. ¡°Miss Onerid has been invited each of the two previous days. At some point, people begin to talk, or so it is elsewhere.¡± Seeing (and feeling) Loigwin recover his composure as if he had been rescued from that pit Drastlifars kept mentioning, Dirant thought himself justified in receiving payment for the service, perhaps in the currency of information. ¡°Though such talk means nothing to you, to judge from the lack of bruises on you or Eizesl Bodan-Tin.¡±


    ¡°You and I both know what substance there is to that, like the foam.¡± Loigwin hesitated when Dirant did not immediately exclaim how true and just was that assertion, but a slight nod satisfied him. ¡°Fantasy rumors are a tradition too, and not to be resented out of proportion, though I wonder what the purpose was.¡±


    ¡°To rile you up?¡±


    Loigwin shrugged. ¡°Is there a man aside from Onkan, I mean Eizesl Paspaklest, who would wish and know to do so, and how could he? Let us grant to him the greatest inclination toward slander, and he is but recently arrived yet with few friends to spread his views who are not mine also.¡±


    ¡°To rile up someone else?¡±


    ¡°Who? She herself? That would rile me up were she riled, I suppose, but was she even told of it?¡±


    ¡°She was not, Takki assures me.¡±


    The Loigwin shrug came out again. ¡°Then as much as I''d like to know, thinking about it now is trying to solve the riddle of the egg. Anyone would tell us to leave it for later or resign ourselves to fog eternal. What are the good places around town, Sajaitin? I''d do wrong to deny Stanops Bodan-Tin an envious expression after his invitation, although his insistence on clarifying how brief would be my stay was a little, well, not to be questioned by me, naturally.¡±


    ¡°Ah, the Stanops is hurrying himself and everyone else because of an upcoming occasion. For instance, there is the popcorn pagoda we hastened to set up at his behest, which is this way.¡±


    A Nein-Cadops-Bain did not require much mollifying, if one generalized from Loigwin, which Dirant did. Drawing broad conclusions about families seemed a Drastlif sort of thing to Dirant, and he wanted to conform to local custom. At any rate, Loigwin accepted the implied proposal. ¡°That may be the right thing to admire. Guide us through, Sajaitin.¡±

 39. On Discrepancies Between Theory And Reality

    Accompanied By An Explanation Why Each Ought To Be Taken As Proof Of The Superiority Of Theory


    Though ready to be the complete tour guide, whether for someone as exalted as an arm-bearing Drastlifar or as lowly as the other kind of Drastlifar, Dirant fielded no questions from his charge except for whether he thought a clock made out of two wrestlers might be a tad much. Which he did not. A Drastlifan town held nothing to puzzle Loigwin, and therefore Dirant decided to ask his own questions.


    ¡°How poor precisely is Eizesl Bodan-Tin''s reputation? Regarding ladies, though not any of them in particular.¡±


    Loigwin looked around before answering. Friendly territory could become hostile quickly, as countless street brawls proved. Seeing no one nearby, he said, ¡°Bad enough that I''m surprised someone hasn''t spoken to him in words that can''t be written yet are read by doctors well enough. His class isn''t intimidating so far as I''ve heard. Men more influential than he have failed to escape the bill of their deeds. The simplest explanation is that those rumors are fantasy altogether. The era of trustworthy men is too far behind us, Sajaitin.¡±


    ¡°Perhaps it is so.¡± The earlier mention of Onkallant had inspired a new question, but Dirant waited a little before putting it in order to obfuscate the relationship. As they entered the park, he asked, ¡°Speaking of classes not prominent in the violence market, what means do you think that Mr. Onkallant, Sportsman, would use to murder someone?¡±


    ¡°Cuts and stabs, those being teasing and jibes.¡± Unable to decide whether to smile or frown at his reminiscences, Loigwin concocted a hybrid that made him look as if the noon repast had given him food poisoning. ¡°Strangling? He''s strong enough for that and doesn''t carry weapons. Why?¡±


    ¡°I thought the same. Now suppose that an Administrator, you may have one in mind, were to murder someone. How?¡± The ploy to pretend he was simply engaging in speculation of questionable taste with another young man, a common practice in that set, succeeded. Loigwin never realized the satisfaction Dirant had from hearing support for the scintillating theory he had just devised. If it was not the likeliest scenario, at least it was plausible enough to let him feel smart.


    ¡°I do think it''s a clever theory,¡± Takki allowed. After a brief tour, Loigwin had left Dirant to go inspect drainpipes. ¡°The problem is that now you have two things to explain. Why would someone want to kill the Stanops and get Mr. Onkallant in trouble for it? I might be stupid, but those don''t go together that well. If I lost a match to Mr. Onkallant and was so mad I wanted revenge, couldn''t I just kill him? That sounds much easier. Heading the other direction, if I''m the kind of person who assassinates oligarchs, who''s Mr. Onkallant to me?¡±


    His smile proved he had already thought of that, Dirant hoped. Otherwise he would appear to be enjoying the conversation in general, another acceptable result. ¡°That is so. However, presume you wish to murder several people. Is it easier to get at an oligarch before the killings start or after, and is it easier to continue if someone else, anyone at all, is suspected? I realize all this is a contrived jumble compared to a plain matter of wanting a particular oligarch dead, and yet even so.¡±


    ¡°I don''t know, Ressi. Are you sure you don''t just want an Adaban to be involved so you don''t have to think about Drastlif as much? Oh, what kind of tree do we think that is?¡±


    They were roaming outside of town toward the west, where Drastlifars did whatever it was they had to do in fields of the non-marsh variety. The work involved a great deal of bending and kneeling. The grunting and cursing likely were incidental. Out farther, trees waited to be plucked, chopped, or exploited in some other way, and neither northerner could figure out more than that. ¡°Perhaps that is the famous rubber tree. It is obvious from my guess how little I understand Drastlif. I admit that, and yet if I am thinking internationally, the cause is that struggle in which a Drastlifar, a Tand, two Dvanjchtlivs, and even an Adaban took part.¡±


    ¡°I can see how that might make a powerful impression. But if we go by your theory, the mastermind has already failed, hasn''t he? We have four witnesses who know it wasn''t Mr. Onkallant. That''s great news for you, Ressi. You can go ahead and enjoy your vacation while I solve the real mystery.¡±


    ¡°This is a business trip,¡± he reminded her.


    ¡°Oh? What are you doing right now?¡± she reminded him.


    ¡°I wonder if they grow yams here. We never ship them to Drastlif so far as I know.¡±


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    ¡°That''s really beneath you, Ressi.¡±


    ¡°It gladdens me that you think so, and in the future I will refrain employing outside of an interrogation those conversational gambits which work so well on Eizesl Nein-Cadops-Bain.¡±


    ¡°You are getting better at that, aren''t you? You''re like a raider on his second outing. We haven''t been able to eliminate any suspects, though. Wait, we added one. Showing up after the victim''s death and acting surprised is an old trick.¡± Takki flipped the end of her scarf back behind her shoulder in the southern, evidently older, style.


    ¡°It''s true that even the most apparently innocuous person is capable of actions which amaze the audience, and also that a second murder comes easier after the first. Those are lessons taken from a thrilling goslikenar that is not entirely ahistorical.¡±


    ¡°Ressi, I want to attend that one.¡±


    Wistfulness suffused Dirant''s voice as he said, ¡°What a sad hour it was when I saw it listed for no forthcoming performances in Isarpezoltk. Ah, but when we return, I must check for it again.¡±


    ¡°Oh, that''s great to hear.¡±


    During dinner, Loigwin was able to confirm Dirant''s consoling words by seeing Onerid present, if at a different table. Keiminops also glanced over a few times while Dirant tried to figure out at what stage in Drastlifan courtship the suitor approached the object of his noble intentions. Both gentlemen had spoken to Onerid more before they decided they were in love than after, which in Greater Enloffenkir would be taken as a sign of a wish to write poetry rather than to pursue a romance.


    No one disturbed the jollity of the meal by asking awkward questions such as, ¡°You did it, didn''t you?¡± or ¡°Why did you do it?¡± The second question was too easy to answer for it to be asked in the first place unless Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain were the person accused. Even Posmeterin Igwodan-Tin, at the main table that day, might have been enmeshed in some family conspiracy; Ritualists benefited from a presumption of non-criminality more out of a lack of applicability with regards to their abilities than from any class-specific moral rectitude, as Dirant knew from various thoughts that had crossed his mind about what he wanted to do to the manager who put him on piano-moving duty. That one of his brothers was said manager made the parallel yet more apt.


    If the host insisted with implications of force rather than grace alone that everyone leave his house afterward, no doubt nervousness over the upcoming enigmatic event combined with dallying on the part of the curious guests to cause his behavior and not, for instance, fear of assassination. Then again, he may have been concerned for his guests'' appetites. A reluctance to refuse the generosity of a stanops was a terrible thing when it prevented the guest from enjoying the evening''s beach barbecue planned as to celebrate the start of the old year''s final week.


    To prepare for that, outsiders needed only change into clothes they were willing to have besauced and stand around waiting, perhaps tapping a foot or singing half-remembered lyrics. Employees of respected mercantile firms were accustomed to use their time more productively than that. Itinerant Ritualist Dirant Rikelta went to check again the popcorn box for irregularities caused by careless handling or, worse, for signs of careful examination by someone too curious about the setup''s specifics. He opened the door into the pavilion''s service closet and was asked a question.


    ¡°What goes on in Koshat, Mr. Dirant? I can''t convince myself it was for any unimportant reason that your shadows and I passed each other on the road when I was returning.¡±


    ¡°I hope to have convinced them my motives are purely financial. As for the occasion which brought it about, allow me first to contemplate whether it is proper for me to tell you.¡±


    ¡°I won''t rush you then.¡±


    Dirant turned a judging eye on Stansolt Gaomat, though first he judged himself favorably for reacting with such equanimity to seeing a man reclining on the floor under the counter, his back against the wall and in his hand a sheaf of papers doubtless inappropriate for Dirant to read, or Stansolt for that matter.


    A Sivoslofer spy might have liked to murder Poiskops Bodan-Tin. He might also do anything to achieve the opposite result. The political nuances were beyond a simple member of the commercial milieu, and so Dirant could never know which unless he asked. That seemed dangerous. Stansolt might answer honestly, after all.


    Dirant imagined how he himself would go about the assassination of a prominent figure, reached the point where he paid someone like Stansolt to do it, and gave up before the exercise diverged from the point even more. Most importantly, nowhere in his plan did he push to be included on a company expedition so that as many people as possible knew him to be in the vicinity when the crime happened. Based on that and Stansolt''s undisputed capacity to keep secrets, Dirant said, ¡°An attack was perpetrated that had the evident purpose of ending the life of Stanops Bodan-Tin.¡±


    That interested the spy. Dirant recounted the incident while he looked over the popcorn box; efficiency was the second treasure of the experienced commercial Ritualist, the first being a nature capable of withstanding tedium.


    ¡°And there it rests,¡± he concluded. ¡°Or else it slithers about menacingly. The Stanops remains alive, and neither has he canceled whatever negotiations which involve a person so prominent as the crown prince of Noiswawau alongside the usual diplomats and spies.¡±


    Stansolt''s answering smile did not precisely condescend, but there was something in it that belongs to those who know what others do not. ¡°Your friends Mr. Ebringsawm and Mr. Iischipl would still be in town if they realized you figured out that much. Have you discovered who is leading the other deputation?¡±


    ¡°I have not.¡±


    Against Dirant''s expectation, Stansolt dropped his smile and asked, ¡°Do you want to hear who it is?¡±


    Against Stansolt''s expectation, Dirant did not, and said so. ¡°And yet I admit I must learn it eventually regardless, since I have this assignment.¡±


    ¡°Quite so,¡± Stansolt concurred. ¡°Sooner is better than later when never is unavailable. He is Boij Avroshipt Ogleript.¡±

 40. The Political Consequences Of Assassination

    It Is Well Understood Today That Policy Is Driven By Ineluctable Socioeconomic Forces And Therefore Insensitive To The Death Of Any Particular Person


    ¡°Ah?¡±


    ¡°Lord Treasurer of Swadvanchdeu.¡±


    ¡°Ah!¡±


    That confirmed Stansolt''s innocence in the matter of Poiskops, Dirant believed. Murdering him would discourage two gentlemen he surely wished to murder much more from entering Koshat Dreivis. Unless the negotiations dealt with betrayal of some sort, they must concern a treaty between the warring countries long expected and dreaded just as long. The neighbors of Noiswawau and Swadvanchdeu, and their neighbors, everyone else in Egillen really, preferred the current mutual entanglement to any other arrangement.


    Loigwin''s arrival had discommoded the secret investigators by increasing the number of suspects by one; Stansolt''s information added thousands more. On the other hand, probably none of those people cared about a retired ambassador, his children, or commercial rituals, and so Dirant ought to take that as good news after all, if surprising. He however no longer approved, for personal reasons, of Stadeskosken''s commitment to keeping a Ritualist in Koshat Dreivis throughout the meeting. Negotiations between Dvanjchtlivs which ended in flame and slaughter may have been rare historically, but they were the ones people remembered.


    Seeing Dirant''s evident turmoil, Stansolt commiserated. ¡°I felt just the same when I heard of it, and when the news enters the broadsheets, it will become a day of mourning for every patriotic Grenlofer. If only we had means to stop it. Regrettably, the peace cannot be delayed any longer, and that puts us in a traffic-and-tides situation wherein we must influence what we can while preparing for what we cannot. We want relations between the two to remain as uneasy as we can arrange. A failed assassination with an unknown perpetrator is very excellent for spreading distrust, but this idea of Mr. Onkallant''s being blamed would ruin that. What are your reasons for conjecturing that Mr. Onkallant is the target of a campaign of misdirection?¡±


    Dirant set down the box, satisfied yet still peering at it. ¡°There is the fact of his sudden absence from Dubwasef, something easy to arrange simply by bringing a job to the branch office which requires a translator. There is the unnatural way in which the subject arose during the conversation between Mr. Helsodenk and Eizesl Nein-Cadops-Bain as if they were prompted to address it, whether because of their own inclination or as a result of external suggestion. There is one other point more ethereal than the others. I once met his father, Mr. Delaosant, and was warned by an optional class ability of a disaster which would affect him.¡± After that report, Dirant grimaced. He was supposed to be wary of Stansolt, not to act like a junior operative under his command. Certainly not one pleased when his superior considered his opinion seriously.


    ¡°Ritualists have such an ability? I never knew.¡±


    ¡°It is called Divine Guidance (Hunch), and its name well describes its reliability.¡±


    ¡°Even so, we may have committed an oversight in our hiring practices. Does it tell you if the danger has passed?¡±


    ¡°It is unfortunate, but . . .¡±


    ¡°I understand.¡± Stansolt thought for a moment. ¡°There isn''t anyone who doesn''t expect you on the beach this evening, but I can tell you now there will be no use in looking for me. I''ll be indoors.¡±


    ¡°Ah, and I am to encourage people not to retire early? I must look through my rituals suitable for entertainment then.¡±


    ¡°That''s what I hoped to hear, Mr. Dirant.¡± Stansolt stood up and shook Dirant''s hand before gesturing for him to leave first, asking if he saw anyone, and then slipping out himself.


    In the end, Dirant had no opportunity to expend his precious Ritualist resources on class-specific party tricks such as the annoyance ritual he learned in Redrin. Keiminops Bodan-Tin asked him on behalf of his family or rather all Koshat Dreivis to restore the intricate scoring field which already had been ruined by the waves at their height and the feet of fishermen. The appreciation on the part of attendees as they ambled in for Dirant''s artistry caused his enthusiasm for the project to swell so far that he designed two play fields, one for the combat classes and one for the cultivators of peace and sophistication. Honesty alone determined the participants in each, for Drastlifars shrunk from revealing their status in public with more revulsion even than Adabans, as difficult as that may be.


    Whether Koshat Dreivis could be said to transport itself entirely to the beach waited upon the conclusions of political philosophers debating what truly constituted a community, but regardless, nearly the entire population showed. All ideas about invitations and competing functions were set aside for a certain category of communal celebration which included the year''s last cookout. Only someone able to withstand the cruel whispers of appalled neighbors stayed away. Outsiders such as Stansolt Gaomat, for instance.


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    As to the nature of the festival, its bustling magnitude distinguished it from the common beach party. More people, more fires, more balls bouncing among rings and triangles prepared by a careful architect, and more portable racks to store weapons in case the ocean''s denizens decided to participate as well. Poiskops Bodan-Tin kept runners going back and forth between the beach and the gazebo laden with popcorn and the novelty it represented. Excepting the monsters who no doubt huddled on the ocean''s floor waiting for the regular post dolphin to deliver their invitations, the merriment appeared general.


    ¡°Your hard work is a genuine delight for the townspeople,¡± Millim Takki Atsa informed Dirant after she took her turn. ¡°I don''t think anyone''s actually keeping score, though. That makes sense, since they know we won''t keep it up the whole night, but I''m a little sad about it. Are two fields enough though? One''s far busier than the other.¡± She waved with her sling toward the non-combat zone where attendees waited for their turns in a cluster. Quite aside from the disturbing lack of order and how they decided who went next, its size exceeded by several times the gathering on the combat side, which resembled in numbers a reunion of a graduating class thirty years later when a depressing proportion of the graduates could not attend or even be reached.


    The inequality did not bother Dirant. ¡°Two is the perfect number when I wish to observe who participates in either league. At the very least I would like to learn who is most capable of achieving a violent resolution to affairs.¡±


    ¡°You''re getting scientific, Ressi. If you keep becoming more qualified, I''m not sure I''ll be able to afford you as an assistant. Oh, there''s Eizesl Bodan-Tin!¡± In public as they were, Takki refrained from announcing she hoped Keiminops would reveal himself as a secret assassin trained in an elite class formerly unknown in Egillen, but her excitement implied it.


    He joined the non-combat group. So much for that. Neither was he engaging in subterfuge, to judge by his longing looks toward the other field where Ibir Doteniksta was preparing to let loose while Onerid Paspaklest warmed up behind. Nobody else let slip any shocking revelations either. Subjugator Petarun Bavan-Ston stood behind Onerid, the cadre of younger Drastlifars under Ritualist Posmeterin Igwodan-Tin''s paternal frowns mostly joined the soft crowd, and Chisops Dogai-Brein split from his bodyguards for the occasion.


    ¡°You see there is no need to include class in an introduction,¡± Dirant concluded.


    ¡°Ressi.¡± Takki''s tone resembled that of an investor about to explain why the proposed product or service would not be receiving the desired financial support. ¡°You spent an hour drawing, and you did it wonderfully, and now you have to stand here watching to find out something we all could have just told you.¡±


    ¡°Exactly.¡±


    ¡°I don''t understand you sometimes.¡±


    Other differences of opinion arose around the topic, some of them requiring immediate resolution. Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain consulted a lawyer on an especially intricate issue. ¡°Eizeur Nifkleskir, do you plan to toss a stone?¡± he asked.


    ¡°I thought I might eat it, but if what you say is the custom, I suppose I must accede.¡± There are attitudes a person takes when wishing for others to understand he is joking, and others appropriate for expressing contempt. Helsodenk Nifkleskir knew nothing of the first sort.


    ¡°Yes, of course. Ha. The point is that I sense a similarity in you, not of temperament or learning but of the consequence of numbers, and I am in doubt as to which field to challenge. Much to optional abilities is left by our class, and each of us is unlike the others.¡±


    Even an Adaban in such a circumstance might simply ask where Acrobats should queue. Regardless, Helsodenk showed interest in the controversy. ¡°Ah. Yes, in legal realms this has long been an uncertain matter. Courts of the same state have reached various determinations based on the particular question to be answered, or based on caprice if we ask the thwarted lawyers I am sure. Then there is the much-reported trial in Eubosh Ashurit which resulted in a tournament pitting classes against one another to create an authoritative categorization. I advise you to refer to those results and then argue for their universal adoption or claim we must conclude the opposite of what those barbarians did.¡±


    ¡°That''s fascinating,¡± Loigwin said, and honestly no less. ¡°Where did our class end up?¡±


    ¡°The fees for legal research can be steep. Watching costs nothing, however.¡± With that, Helsodenk Nifkleskir lined up with the hard classes.


    After that, Loigwin faced still a doubly doubtful undertaking. Even if he achieved an impressive score in comparison to the others in his division, was a particular person someone to be impressed by that? Dirant wanted to ask Onerid about her stance on the subject when she came over to join Takki in watching the other tossers, but he refrained from expressing an unworthy curiosity which was contrary to his obligation to pass on only good things.


    Loigwin kicked up his leg beautifully and threw. His rock twisted so that it hit a triangle pointing along the most extreme angle the creator had deemed reasonable and three more score spaces after that. ¡°Did you remark Mr. Loigwin''s throw?¡± Onerid said to Takki. ¡°He used to do tricks like that all the time. Sometimes nothing else would stop the baby from having one of his fits. The baby is Onkallant of course, because Onsifenk never gave such trouble as that . . . that . . .¡±


    ¡°Glory of his line?¡± Takki suggested.


    ¡°Exactly!¡± Both fell to laughing for reasons far beyond the scope of Dirant''s knowledge. He was surprised enough to discover Onkallant and Onerid had another brother who had not yet sought employment with Kitslof''s most successful mercantile company engaged primarily in transportation. There was no reason this Onsifenk Paspaklest ought to have done so, but a pattern had been established.

 41. Beach Espionage

    The Conscientious Citizen Ought To Give It A Rest At Some Point


    Nobody afterward interested Dirant at all, class-wise. Soon enough the party spread itself among other diversions such as impromptu choirs singing to the improvisations of relentless drummers, beach tennis, and a group game involving two people who swung a rope while others jumped over it. Back in Dubwasef, the Drastlifars had resisted converting a sober Adaban custom into a scene of full frivolity, but there and then they did as they liked.


    Dirant parted from the people he knew with a view toward increasing his opportunities to overhear conversations intentionally without the permission of the involved parties, to put it in a not particularly delicate way. As willing as he was to engage in disreputable behavior on account of the mystery which still held the potential to end in deaths, he still considered honesty important. Therefore he never denied to anyone that he crept up near Helsodenk Nifkleskir and Poiskops Bodan-Tin when the two separated from the greater crowd, and the statement he heard little of what they said was entirely true for all that his fear of discovery alone caused it.


    He received an impression that Poiskops wished to figure out what lucrative endeavor bought Helsodenk back and how much of it he could take over. Helsodenk for his part deflected the inquiry by speaking of the general state of Drastlif and the gossip which surely did not interest a man more accustomed to cause scandal than wallow in it.


    Soon Poiskops gave up, helpless against the lawyer''s masterly evasions. Rather than relying on his non-existent stealth abilities, Dirant instead moved to a position so that he might greet the Stanops as if that had long been his plan, congratulate him on how charmingly his Koshat Dreivis partied, and offer to assist with anything whatsoever at any time from right then to the boundaries of eternity.


    The maneuver went well, since Poiskops wanted to talk. ¡°Sajaitin. What may be done to rest us more pleasantly and please us till our rest? Conversation, the authorities say, on trivial things. Tell me, when you were in Dubwasef youthful and new, did you hear, or rather, what sort of rumors did you hear about my nephew? I mean the one who''s visiting now.¡±


    The sort that ostensibly gave Onkallant Paspaklest a motive for murdering the head of your nephew''s family, as Dirant would never reply. Rather than that, provided he handled the conversation deftly, he might be able to spread the idea that Onkallant knew the rumors and considered there to be nothing untoward in the matter. That sounded a bit too requiring of deftness to Dirant, and so instead he sought some clues as to Keiminops''s forthcoming commercial endeavor.


    ¡°As to that, Stanops, I did in Dubwasef try to become familiar with the talk of the day. I hope still to learn of, ah, ways to make more money.¡±


    ¡°That''s how it should be, Sajaitin. Build your house first and then worry about filling it. Now let me in on the non-profitable gossip you have heard, and you can leave out the old stuff about the Stin-Ston debacle and the wrath of families spurned without malice or the slightest concern, an insult heavy to bear. I''m asking about something current.¡± The way he emphasized ¡°current¡± made it sound like the least reputable word in the language, not only with his voice but also by drawing closer to Dirant so that they came close to sharing the same shoes.


    Since that was the situation, Dirant leaned over and lowered his voice. ¡°There is something, or was before I left Dubwasef, though I am in a position to know what was said is untrue.¡±


    ¡°If that mattered, the world would be easier to navigate. Who is the seifis in question?¡±


    ¡°Ah.¡± The situation disconcerted Dirant for a moment; not out of the effort of following a conversation amid the raucous celebration, but because things were going how he wanted without any deftness on his part. There was a bit of emptiness to the feeling. ¡°She is Seifis Onerid Paspaklest.¡±


    ¡°Oho!¡±


    ¡°As you can see yourself, she behaves among Bodan-Tins the same as elsewhere, for she has met your nephew but twice and has never the rumors heard. Her brother is aware of the gossip and cares nothing about it.¡±


    ¡°That last, Sajaitin, matters. I feel like the sailor who walked into the palace prepared for his execution and left to take up residence in a mansion in gleaming Yean Defiafi, furnished and staffed already. Seifis Paspaklest. If he wants to make a run at her . . . Sajaitin, let''s leave discredited rumors behind. You say you''ve talked to her brother? What would be the opinion of the Paspaklests, I''m asking for an opinion here and not a promise definitive, about a licit connection?¡±


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    His deftness notwithstanding, Dirant considered himself too much of a sluggard simply to keep up with the conversation. At the present rate, Keiminops would be married by the end of it. ¡°Answering with my opinion only, it is exceedingly unlikely there would be any objection whatsoever from her brother, and while I met her father but briefly, he appeared likely to belong to the category of aging men who are more interested in grandchildren than details.¡±


    Poiskops was nodding. ¡°How many pages have been filled with explorations after causes for the close relations between Drastlif and the GE, when the answer is simple alignment of sentiment? Now, Sajaitin, I go to try to make something happen, and may your next year be smiles and whispers, young man!¡± He strolled away.


    What poem or epigraph birthed that line Dirant would inquire later in order to understand its meaning. It was probably benevolent, but the chance of the opposite prevented him from using it himself when he merged back into the general revelry with more investigation as his intention. Nobody he came across wanted to confess to the plot within hearing, but everybody was willing to explain how beach tennis worked. ¡°You''re incontestably correct that the ball won''t bounce very well, Sajaitin. We adjust for that by designating the area around the net as a fault zone to force the players to hit it long and low.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Eizesl. The lines are hard for me to discern.¡±


    That particular Drastlifar laughed. ¡°Well, what would you, Sajaitin? We want to play, not shift aside the tumbling pebbles for hour upon hour!¡±


    Another said, ¡°A vague awareness of the space is for sport sound enough.¡±


    Such complacency at other times would not have bothered Dirant, but after getting away with spying on an oligarch and perhaps ruining a villainous plan to substitute an innocent countryman in place of a wicked assassin, the elation of realized potential moved him to demonstrate to the inhabitants of Koshat Dreivis what radiant possibilities they might grab if only they reached.


    He had another reason to act: Posmeterin Igwodan-Tin. The veteran Ritualist was giving out indications he might abandon the party, saying he was older than he used to be and his stomach smaller. That type of excuse. Whatever the effect on his health would have been to enter his house and find a Sivoslofer Battler dumping the contents of his drawers on the presumably tidy floor, Dirant thought it better avoided.


    ¡°Sajaitin,¡± he hailed Posmeterin. ¡°Beach tennis must be played on courts, and when I see those rude things I wonder if laymen ever learned how to draw a line. They prefer to guess if a ball landed fairly or otherwise. More than that, they set up but two courts on all this beach despite the obvious popularity of the sport.¡± Dirant swept his arm to encompass all the townspeople and guests present, many of whom pressed upon the courts in a manner more akin to hogs searching for a spot at the trough than a respectful audience summoned by the prospect of feats of athleticism. ¡°A Ritualist of level 2 could do better as a training exercise.¡±


    The implication did not escape Posmeterin, who beckoned various of his probable children, grandchildren, and other relatives over, not to mention non-Igwodan-Tins. As Dirant surmised, he had raised and was training enough Ritualists to keep Bodan-Tin operations supplied for the next two generations. Likely his charges also included those assistants no longer much employed in Greater Enloffenkir on account of the increased competence and avarice of its Ritualists.


    Some histories claimed that in previous eras, Ritualists relied entirely upon liners, as Adabans called them, to prepare their designs and did not themselves bother to learn the necessary lines. The historians responsible for those books and essays inevitably received letters across a range of polite to unreadable from Ritualists who wished to remind the writer that the Ritual Memory ability made that impossible; they could not forget the details of a completed ritual even if they desired to do so. A correction was always desired and often received, though at times the historian instead responded with an aggressive refusal or even suggested that the matter might be taken as evidence for the theory that class abilities have not always been the same, a proposal which caused arguments among the members of every class without exception whenever it appeared.


    The number of beach courts multiplied and their quality rose noticeably under the staves, rakes, and delicate fingers of the Ritualist clique. Not only did the lines become deeper, wider, and sloped to prevent cave-ins, the outer edges, formerly straight, became waves among which dolphins played and pilots steered while monsters roamed the fault areas in search of illegal balls, the tastiest kind. Doubles became possible as well on expanded courts, not to mention the chaotic but fascinating six vs. six variant even then winning attention among sports enthusiasts accepting of novelty. They needed only nets to complete them, and in Koshat Dreivis, like many other towns near the coast, that was the same as being done.


    Under Dirant''s suggestions and Posmeterin''s guidance, the troupe followed that up with a race track that ran a good way along the beach complete with staggered starting marks, designated jump rope areas with places assigned for the cat and the scorpion as the Drastlifars called the two holding the rope for some reason too obscure for the foreigner to guess (not that many locals knew either), and a zone for measuring the longest jump so long as the competitors'' landings did not mar the marks too much, which deeper into the night they certainly would.

 42. On Poverty Both Relative And Absolute

    The Wise Sovereign Fears The Sufferers Of The Former More On Account Of Their Greater Capacity For Rebellious Action


    Many came to admire the efforts of the Ritualists more than the players taking advantage of them. Enraptured, they offered ideas for further grand projects. ¡°Consider a mascot around each bonfire,¡± Keiminops suggested. ¡°That one will be the fearsome heart of the ferocious tiger. Over there beats the constant heart of the obliging mule.¡±


    ¡°At some point the thing calls for payment,¡± Dirant responded. ¡°Where that is in this country is unclear to me.¡±


    ¡°About the eight-foot marker, I believe.¡±


    ¡°We have gone too far already.¡± Dirant turned to the supervisor. ¡°Sajaitin Igwodan-Tin, the reputation of our class requires only this much. How is the size of your stomach and so?¡±


    ¡°Small and emptied by the exertion, Sajaitin Rikelta,¡± Posmeterin said. Stansolt Gaomat would never know how much Dirant did for him, until he was told, which certainly he would be later.


    The strenuous exertions of excited participants could not continue forever without replenishing food and cooling drink given the warm weather at the end of the year. The northern visitors still stumbled mentally with that, but local conditions persisted for all their struggles to accept them. Considerate representatives of reputable local families such as the Bodan-Tins and Nein-Cadops-Bains plied them with the most advisable dishes, though Dirant, Takki, and Ibir were allowed to refuse.


    Watching the subsequent spectacle, Dirant no longer felt silent prayers sufficient for his depth of feeling. ¡°Do you see that, Takki? My wish at this moment is to hire a poet to compose an ode to being free from messes such as that about Miss Onerid.¡±


    Takki raised a finger in an enigmatic gesture. ¡°You''re welcome, Ressi. It''s a relief to me, too. We need you thinking clearly. Where would you put Drastlif''s cuisine comparatively, now that we''ve had more of it?¡± She held out her plate as the first exhibit.


    ¡°Yes, we must be clear-headed about food. Between Chtrebliseu on the better side and Redrin on the worse, I must put this nearer the former.¡± He left the ¡°you''re welcome¡± statement alone out of pure mystification.


    ¡°I think I might say the same about being in the better half, but everything else is different. So where do you put Pavvu Omme Os? Ressi?¡±


    ¡°There are many factors to consider.¡± Rather than elaborating on those factors, Dirant looked around for criminal activity. ¡°I don''t see any threats. There is the Stanops looking as hearty as ever.¡±


    ¡°Do you see any Tands? I don''t expect that, but it would turn this case around. Don''t you think it would be fantastic if one were here and he turned out to be innocent? We''d have to defend him then, you know.¡±


    ¡°Only if the Stanops alters his current policy of pretending nothing happened. Takki. To your left. Is that the suspicious yet likely harmless young man with the unfortunate appearance, or?¡±


    ¡°It is, Ressi. He''s speaking to Chisops Dogai-Brein, I think.¡±


    That was going on at another bonfire some distance away but within a Ritualist''s sight, to say nothing of a Battler''s. The youth himself looked to be aware of the excellent quality of the lighting there and its undesirability, since he shuffled to keep the fire between him and Poiskops Bodan-Tin when the Stanops passed by during the conversation. Chisops, for his part, stayed where he was and changed nothing for anyone.


    Soon the conversation ended, whereupon the suspicious man merged with the darkness held off by the fires. ¡°Shall we relocate?¡± Takki asked, less as a question and more as a notice of intent. The suggestion suited Dirant well enough, and the two took themselves over to the fire so recently abandoned by one of its shiftiest beneficiaries, though far from the least trustworthy man on the beach when one remembered the oligarch and the lawyer convicted of smuggling and attendant crimes. They looked more respectable while they did it, however. A haircut and a new cummerbund meant a lot, whether in Drastlif or anywhere else.


    Chisops looked a bit disordered himself, but not distinctly so. The nature of the festival suggested to people that they not dress their very best, and others besides Dirant had attired themselves in the expectation that an incident of sudden uncleanliness might befoul their clothing. Takki for instance wore an unadorned brown head scarf that may have begun its career in a pocket or under a plate. The consideration did not affect the two bodyguards, whose dedication to duty and advertising kept them girded for battle whether facing the field suffused with slaughter or a sport-filled beach. As for the sports themselves, Laimerif Oimer and Isarbas Kwin ignored those altogether.


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    Chisops explained the reason for that in his deliberate manner, like a judge reading sentences from a scroll slowly unrolled by an impassive bailiff. ¡°It is an unfortunate imposition I make upon them because they will be counted among the combat classes without regard for the absence of physical statistics in the requirements to qualify for Hail Master, or rather Hail Mistress in the case of Seifis Kwin, and Sleet Mistress, which pertains to Seifis Oimer. The erroneous impression may be given by their resulting performance in these games that they are, to put it the way observers will think though surely never say, incompetent. They will remind themselves that doing well or poorly in a footrace has little to do with accompanying their wives through town, but the impression, Sajaitin. The impression is mightier by far than reason.¡±


    Dirant would have tapped a Stadeskosken otter if his clothing carried one in the manner of an armiger''s shield, but as it was, he tried to look sympathetic. Whatever that involved. ¡°The same care is taken with us. To place boxes and packages directly in our lobbies would increase convenience, and what a consolation that is if a customer comes in, sees the clutter, and thinks us a firm slow to move our own things and necessarily slower with his. An invitation to look over our records will not repair the mistake.¡±


    ¡°That is precisely how I perceive things,¡± Chisops confirmed while his two advertisements failed to pretend that was not the most boring conversation either had ever heard, which meant something given their employer. Although perhaps they had not accompanied him long.


    Takki eschewed mere speculation. ¡°How long have you ladies been with Eizesl Dogai-Brein?¡± she asked.


    ¡°About thirty months, Barais, training under the prestigious and practical Dogai-Brein regimen,¡± answered Isarbas Kwin, the shorter, hailier one. There was something in her accent that Dirant perceived as distinct, though he lacked the extensive socioeconomic comprehension required to register what he heard as sure signals of the lower stratum. ¡°For five months now we have attended the head personally during his expeditions that take him straight past slavering monsters ready to pounce. Dogai-Brein bodyguards are tested by the hottest fires and the sharpest steel. Do you want us to watch over your niece, or would you prefer an inferior product? So how many bodyguards do you need and how soon do you need them?¡±


    ¡°The preceding speech does result in a contract from time to time,¡± Chisops assured them, either as an apology or as advice not to be modest about promotion.


    ¡°I don''t have any nieces yet, but I''ll try to keep that in mind,¡± Takki promised. She understood that portion of the pitch at least. ¡°I think I''m more impressed by your discipline, though. Aren''t Sleet and Hail Masters supposed to hate each other?¡±


    ¡°That''s the worst thing I know about Seifis Kwin,¡± Laimerif Oimer allowed. ¡°She''s so lovely in every other way that the single flaw becomes something charming.¡± The indications in her accent of an upbringing in the north amid the reverse of poverty escaped Dirant''s notice entirely. If he ever needed consolation about the matter, Takki likewise had no idea.


    ¡°I don''t know about that, but if all Sleet Mistresses were like Seffif Oimer, I''d love that class more than my own,¡± Isarbas said. Neither of the foreigners were familiar with the honorific seffif, and using as guideposts Laimerif''s wince and the thin, flat look of Chisops, they theorized Isarbas ought to have been less so.


    ¡°Is that one of your, um, points to bring up when making sales?¡± Takki asked. ¡°Those bodyguards shouldn''t get along, so if they do, my horrible niece won''t be a problem for them, right?¡±


    Chisops nodded. ¡°We do wish to create that, again, that impression. An explicit appeal along those lines is sadly impossible. Word is getting out however, and the prosperity of the family is rising, though not to the level of old.¡±


    ¡°So how not, Captain?¡± Isarbas demanded to know. ¡°I haven''t seen a single outfit doing better than ours. The last time we were in Pikilif, I counted everybody up real accurate and almost half the baraises had one of ours. And what''s so big about the councilors? Dreivis is an all-right town, but Piorifas takes longer to walk across. I counted that too. Oh come on, Seffif. You''re just being secretive for the sake of it,¡± she said in response to her partner''s panicked gestures and desperate grimace. ¡°Sajaitin, Barais, please be so kind as to answer two questions if you''re kind enough, please. Did you hear about the Dogai-Breins getting kicked out of the big table? Do you care at all whether they get back on?¡±


    ¡°Yes to the first, and as for the second, I hope it is not rude of me to admit the honest answer is no,¡± Dirant replied.


    ¡°Ressi! Well, I suppose we don''t. I''d really rather put it some other way though. Maybe that we aren''t qualified to express any opinions on the, um, domestic affairs of Drastlif.¡±


    ¡°Aside from one point, which is that the streets ought to be named.¡±


    ¡°The buildings too, but that''s all.¡± Takki considered whether that was in fact the only objective improvement to be made. ¡°More salt would be nice.¡±


    ¡°See?¡± Isarbas insisted rather than asked. ¡°Perception beguiling is all that seat is. You don''t need them, Captain.¡±


    Eizesl Dogai-Brein calmed her down with sober speech. ¡°The scale of it is difficult to encompass in your thinking I know, but the operations of the highest families are nothing like ours. Hagnal Piorifas is a crucial portion of our income, the rents, the shares in several establishments, the fees and modest fines officers of our family are entitled by ancient patent to collect. Koshat Dreivis is a hobby. The ocean between us and Geft is narrower than this gap. Do you understand?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, Captain. I get it.¡± Isarbas Kwin looked down and dragged a finger along the beach, perhaps writing a curse directed against every family currently on the Permissive Council.

 43. The Fascination Of Inspiration

    As Well As The Satisfaction Of Comprehension


    ¡°It is well for that to be taken into account, but provided we regained everything we lost in my grandfather''s time, we would not attain the canton gules. No family is on the brink to free us a seat, and furthermore, more than a simple measurement of wealth is involved when the councilors debate which family is worthy of joining them in their stewardship of the people. Be sure they will not include our contributions to the general welfare made before our reduction in rank, oh no, do not think them so sentimental. That is why I am here. When I confirm my theories . . . Sajaitin, I know there is no use in telling you all this now, but remember. when others take the credit as inevitably some will, that it was a Dogai-Brein who discovered the secret.¡±


    ¡°What secret is that, Eizesl?¡± The best kind of secret in Dirant''s personal ranking system was one he knew and others did not. Those he told other people came second. The sort someone else told him directly and few others knew followed at a respectable third.


    Chisops went for a mysterious, tantalizing sort of tone. He succeeded only so far as the mountains can hide themselves in the clouds. ¡°The seasons of monsters are well known, poorly understood, and laden with practical meaning. We are today in the Period Uncontested which the Adabans call Quiescence when there is less monstrous activity than at any other portion of the year. Many ask why the number of monsters is as low is it is, but what I asked and what I''ve been struggling to discover is where are the monsters, supposing there are not in fact fewer of them. Yes, Sajaitin, it is not fairies who live in your hills and pass through the cracks.¡±


    The speech fascinated and slightly unnerved Dirant and Takki, though the bodyguards evidently had heard their employer''s ruminations and promises to himself often enough not to be much interested.


    ¡°Then you''ll be a stanops, Captain,¡± asserted Isarbas Kwin with the confidence of a mother telling her son he would be picked first next time.


    Laimerif Oimer agreed with her in that, at least. ¡°They may expand the number of families for you. It''s been done before. There''s nothing sacred about the number fifty-nine, so why shouldn''t they?¡±


    Chisops alone dissented, though he smiled as he did. ¡°The more likely result is an elevation of my family in two generations at the speed Drastlif moves. I would be entirely content at that. No, I wouldn''t have a single regret if it turned out that way. What are you doing now, Barais, my son, my daughters, my Dogai-Breins? Is there as much cheer there as here, and have you burned yourselves again by grabbing the skewer incorrectly?¡±


    A bit of the hypnotic effect once felt by the guests at Poiskops Bodan-Tin''s main table affected Takki, but she recovered herself when he drifted into mere sentiment. Moreover, the mentions of similar celebrations reminded her of something she wanted to ask. ¡°Are these parties the same everywhere, with all the drums and bonfires? I haven''t seen a piano since I came here.¡±


    ¡°There was one in the house of our last stanops, my grandfather,¡± Chisops reminisced. ¡°I remember well that our demotion came the year I began to conceive a dislike for my lessons on it.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, nobody likes piano much, and that''s why the fancy families make their kids learn it,¡± Isarbas interjected. ¡°There''s no risk of their scions getting a band together with the wrong sort then. Are you going to yell at me, Seffif?¡±


    Laimerif demurred. ¡°I doubt anything we have to say on musical subjects will shock a Pavvu.¡±


    ¡°That''s probably true,¡± Takki said while politely ignoring the questionable term ¡°Pavvu¡± in a most worldly fashion. ¡°Amateur debaters defend the most bewildering statements you''ll ever hear for practice, and music theory is a standard topic. They say the viola was invented to prove a point once, but that may just be a story.¡±


    Since Chisops believed himself to have revealed quite enough about his discoveries for the moment, the discussion continued on a musical path to its inevitable end with Takki, Chisops, Laimerif, and Isarbas forming their own drum circle while Dirant looked on with a smile set as if chiseled in marble and wondered if he should just leave.


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    Searching the beach for an excuse, he detected nobody trying to leave, or at least nobody of importance. More than that, he saw Stansolt Gaomat saunter in as if he had simply mistaken the time of the event but knew everyone would be as glad to see him as he was to see them regardless. The Drastlifars did not respond in any way to his arrival, though more because they did not know him rather than any deficiency of charm on his part.


    The festival went as far into the night as anyone wished it to, with ¡°anyone¡± referring to Poiskops Bodan-Tin. Posmeterin Igwodan-Tin had the excuse of age and the social heft to leave before the oligarch, though nevertheless late enough that it might have been the next day, and others of the senior contingent withdrew around that time as well. Parents shepherded children to bed, at least the younger ones. Most of them came back; that is, most of the parents and most of the children too, sneaking around the fires and squealing when caught.


    Even robust Acrobats had to stifle yawns, and seeing that, Poiskops again engaged Helsodenk in conversation about his present affairs. Perhaps the Stanops was staying up for no other reason than that.


    ¡°Eizeur, you look like your tailor doesn''t miss a stitch or a fee. I won''t ask what it is during moon''s sleep that you do unseen, but tell me at least, someone who knows the world, are you big and soaring? You aren''t writing with cramped hands letters long and technical on behalf of some client with more phlegm in him than blood who sits atop a vault as if waiting for it to hatch, wondering why no one visits him but glad of the quiet. That''s for lesser lawyers or ones too contented.¡±


    Helsodenk escaped another yawn in the finest Acrobat style. ¡°That sort of client is the most desirable. Unfortunately, none are available at the moment. I am today engaged in chemical research and production. One of our proprietary substances already has found applications likely to revolutionize an industry. That is what the buyer says, though granted we must translate that from the original Marketing Talk (Fluent). Doing so we see that ''revolutionize'' becomes ''improve,'' and that is satisfactory I think.¡±


    Poiskops shifted on the padded stool well-wishers had provided for him on their own ingratiating initiative. ¡°My next unasked question is still clear, if the hour hasn''t made me foolish.¡±


    ¡°Shipbuilding, as it happens, and nothing to do with the Bodan-Tins, unless in my absence you expanded your interests. Ah, certainly you have. The hour has made me foolish, it seems.¡±


    ¡°Yes, but because the poet warned us not to leave our treasures dear in greedy hands, and because of greed nothing has more of it than the sea, I still stay out of that market. Have you been talking to the, hm, the Ektin-Sars?¡±


    ¡°I will not correct you if you wish to say so.¡±


    Both chuckled in recognition that they and everyone who cared understood that the Akard-Velgsins were the shipbuilders implicated. Dirant and Takki backed away as the talk around the big man''s bonfire drifted into the problems of older gentlemen, such as how to hire servants who are both competent and uninquisitive. While everyone hoped to share similar concerns one day, the solutions likely would be different by then.


    ¡°This is a setback for my case,¡± Dirant admitted. ¡°Mr. Helsodenk was rapidly becoming my favored suspect because of his connection to our ambassadors and further because of the unspecified business associates who turned on him. I presumed Stanops Bodan-Tin to be one such, or else to be an associate of those associates. Now we hear Mr. Helsodenk to be recovered entirely and engaged in a highly respectable endeavor unless he lies about that, and the matter is too easy to check for me to believe he would resort to deception in that regard.¡±


    ¡°Cheer up, Ressi. Even if he wasn''t ruined, he might be seeking revenge because he''s unbelievably spiteful.¡±


    ¡°Thank you. That is cheering. Ah, are my worst traits being encouraged?¡±


    ¡°That''s nowhere near your worst trait,¡± Takki assured him.


    Dirant hesitated, but the courage of his ancestors demanded better. ¡°What then is?¡±


    ¡°Not being a Battler.¡±


    He certainly had the fortitude to bear up under the accusation, true as it was. ¡°I have at times perceived the shortcomings in not joining that class.¡±


    ¡°I know it isn''t for everyone, but I do think you''d be good at it if you had the stats.¡±


    That settled that. Onerid came over to consult Takki about some of the problems which faced the younger set, such as whether it was arrogance that deluded her or if several men were indeed attempting to make the best use of the public nature of the occasion. Dirant let that be in order to preserve his neutrality in the matter.


    At last the Stanops made a declaration after checking his golden watch that had gems for its numbers and its wearer''s reputation for its security. ¡°They say Pikilifs still use sundials, but how do they reckon after they greet the gentle silver host? Even so, a day is a day, and no longer are we one full week from the year to come. Everyone! We all must work tomorrow too, though not hard or well! To bed!¡± Since his voice did not carry so well as it once did, the word was distributed by helpful Drastlifars. Soon the beach emptied and all went home, though not before Stansolt Gaomat suggested to Dirant Rikelta they speak the next day, or rather that day, to leave precision not wholly neglected.

 44. Secrecy Is Paramount In Statecraft

    The Governed Lose Confidence In A Sovereign Who Lacks Subtlety


    Dirant would have risen early for that reason except he had made doing so his invariable custom since reaching Koshat Dreivis. A short walk took him to the Stanops''s residence, and a slightly longer walk around it a few times won him a Stansolt companion. More and more people were rising, though some fell a few times during the process. The fields were a long stumble away, and even the shops and such seemed remote on wobbly legs.


    The GE pair confined their conversation to the weather and the previous day''s event until the street traffic lightened, at which point Stansolt reported what he had gathered by means not typically countenanced by society. ¡°Mr. Dirant, there is little that''s more indicative of a man''s character than what he keeps in his drawers. For most of us it''s blank paper, envelopes, and pens we''re afraid to use while the cheap ones sit on the table, but Mr. Chisops keeps a veritable library about him, and in better order than most. I''m a little ashamed of how disorderly my own possessions seem against his. That didn''t prevent me from putting my hands on his ledgers with no scruple like a financial raider. Watch out, there.¡± That warning he said in Drastlimez for the benefit of the children who had just kicked a ball on a direct trajectory toward a window and punishment. Stansolt paused to admonish them about how there would not always be someone to step in and intercept it.


    After accepting both their guileless applause for his feat and their rote, perhaps not entirely heartfelt gratitude for the advice, he continued. ¡°His records and his correspondence in that guest house alone, much larger than mine by the way, better appointed as well, go back a long ways.¡± Stansolt''s Sivoslof upbringing showed itself a tad in that expression. ¡°Many of the letters are from a certain firm, Holtatlosen Skemlena, which has its address in the state of Arvawesk. These ledgers indicate he has received a large number of payments from that company. What does that say to you?¡±


    ¡°Ah, there is no reason to wait to be told anything when we may create our own narratives based on little enough,¡± Dirant opined. ¡°For instance, I have already decided Holtatlosen Skemlena is Helsodenk Nifkleskir''s company which he established in Arvawesk for the simple reason of its legendary indifference toward legislation. I presume the same attitude holds with regard to sio. He is attempting to produce it himself after the damage done to his smuggling operation. It is a difficult project, for the country of Tando OHW from which all supplies on this continent are purchased is protective of its commercial methods and has the great ocean between us to aid it. Doubtless the research of Eizesl Chisops Dogai-Brein relates to this, and it is for either his research notes or some sort of sample he collects that he is paid. It may even be that marsh kings are the source of sio. That is speculative and I say it only because of the powerful name people gave them. The rest is speculative as well, and yet I believe every word of it.¡±


    ¡°Is this the bold spirit of the old tribes as depicted in the triumphal histories which are today the ready subject of debunking by any aspiring semi-academic writer? There''s wisdom in boldness, the ancients say. Probably the ancient Drastlinez say that too. A connection between Mr. Helsodenk and Mr. Chisops has to be considered.¡±


    ¡°And they are both here, and one of them as a guest of Eizesl Bodan-Tin. Perhaps they all are conspirators together in a plot over some operation in the marshes, whether smuggling, plunder, or something else. It may even be that they did not desire the death of the Stanops and it was merely that their compatriot was playing the part of the guard for one of their meetings.¡±


    ¡°It''s best if you''re right and we can be as firemen watching the rain. Still, let''s put a little consideration into how we might find a way to turn this more to our certain benefit.¡± That sort of statement ought to come from a man with thick eyebrows reclining in a stuffed chair behind a desk wider than most rooms across from a squad of underlings who themselves controlled businesses and governmental departments for full credibility, but the air of mystery about Stansolt lent his word a good amount of it nonetheless.


    The attitudes of Noiswawau and Swadvanchdeu toward each other mattered less to Dirant than not having his client and host murdered, but he was willing to adopt the matter as a secondary concern. ¡°Suppose it is sio behind it. What is the stance so far as you know of Noiswawau toward that substance?¡±


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    ¡°Ah. Mr. Dirant, you''re right if you think that while they ban it for human use as most countries do, it isn''t such a passion with them. A Swadvanchdeu that suspects them to be involved in sio production may yet be desperate enough for the truce, but beyond that, a field shared by a dog and a fox is a small one. I''ll drop hints.¡±


    ¡°Did you find any research notes?¡±


    ¡°Yes, or I can''t imagine what else are these dates next to entries my parents didn''t raise me to understand.¡±


    ¡°Will Swadvanchdeuan experts be able to interpret them in the event they find on you some scrap of it copied for analysis or such? The implication ought to be that you robbed it from a Noiswawauan. How these sorts of things are done I have no idea.¡±


    ¡°I will not tell you how, but only praise you as a patriot.¡± Stansolt shook Dirant''s hand in an outburst of communal feeling. Behind them, workers marched toward the main temple of Koshat Dreivis.


    ¡°Marched¡± was the word for it. The two Grenlofers agreed on that. The steady and even steps of massed Myrmidons had never been more obvious, not on the parade ground or in their ceremonial circumambulation of newly dedicated city walls. That of course did not prove them to be other than genuine laborers. The best repair crews were Myrmidons, and if these appeared to carry tools resembling maces better suited for use against skulls than walls and cornices, sometimes people who objected to temple renovations could get a little rowdy. Strong ideas about what sort of decoration was appropriate for such an edifice were common when considerations such as the deference owed tradition and the balance between grandeur and solemnity were implicated.


    The town''s temple belonged to the austere school, at least externally. Stone as the primary material and its long, rectangular shape distinguished it from the common house, shop, or club, but if those elements did not sufficiently indicate its sacred prominence, its position did so, there at the center of town where the main north-south and east-west streets circled it like the sea split by the mythical island whose inhabitants lived a thousand years and gave any visitor a treasure he inevitably lost in a manner calculated to express a moral sentiment. It brooded there stern and hard as if an Adaban had designed it and subsequently some Bodan-Tin ancestor snapped off all the spires.


    The interior, as anyone familiar with Drastlif''s aesthetic inclinations would guess without ever crossing the threshold, leaned in the opposite direction hard enough to fall out of its chair and spill the contents of the bowl it was holding all over the floor. The servants rushed to grab towels and mops, but too late to prevent the ruin of Chtrebliseuan rugs purchased at exorbitant prices and shoes which, while not so expensive, their owners had planned to wear home afterward.


    Enough gold lined the columns, the pedestals on which jewel-eyed representations of various gods had been reverently placed, the dishes kept on the primary altar and the cups on the secondaries, and a dozen chandeliers depending from the lofty ceiling that the most god-scoffing visitor must experience profound if not supernatural awe. Once that visitor''s eyes adjusted to the aureate radiance, he would be able to appreciate, if that was the word, materials other than gold, such as the ivory, obsidian, jade, and cinnabar used to ornament the altars, the walls, the idols themselves in their niches also elaborately decorated with scenes full of religious significance, and opulent doors which separated the place of worship from the many chambers employed by temple staff to carry out the countless consultations and calculations involved in the institution''s financial operations. Somewhere in those were stairs to the money-filled cellar, a rare feature for a Drastlifan building. That is to say, having a cellar was rare, but those which existed often stored money.


    A building such as that, sizable and ornate, doubtless wanted repair. Dirant wondered if the Bodan-Tin security personnel would do any. ¡°Is it more likely they are permanently salaried or mercenaries hired for the occasion, do you think?¡±


    ¡°In this country, the second, but they take jobs only with Bodan-Tin permission. By the way, those aren''t all of them. The house is under watch now.¡± While keeping his hand close to his front, Stansolt gestured in the direction of guards Dirant failed to see even with that prompting. ¡°Is there anything else do you think, or should I begin my personal preparations?¡±


    ¡°Please do.¡± With that, Stansolt Gaomat strode away, inconspicuous as only someone who takes no trouble to hide can be. The unidentified young hoodlum would have done well to study his techniques before embarking on his disreputable career, provided it was such.


    Dirant Rikelta remembered his Ritualist duties and went to check the popcorn pavilion in case a suspicious Battler again lurked there. The lack of one almost surprised him. Afterward, he continued his Ritualist morning by looking in on Posmeterin Igwodan-Tin, whereupon he delivered an impromptu lesson to young pupils intimidated by his alien demeanor. ¡°They may have actually listened,¡± Posmeterin marveled.

 45. Prelude To Danger

    A Discourse On The Relationship Between The Warning And The Danger Itself


    Relaxed at the busiest times, Koshat Dreivis after the festival slumped in its chair, tilted its hat over its eyes, and mumbled that it preferred not to be bothered unless somebody died and left it an inheritance. Tea with Poiskops Bodan-Tin involved less ambling than on previous days. Helsodenk Nifkleskir''s voice had more exhaustion than annoyance in it when he responded to a question from Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain about whether he had ever thought about traveling beyond Egillen (he had not until that very moment but now wished for nothing else). The popcorn popped in as lively a fashion as ever, of course.


    ¡°If this is popular in the GE too, tell me,¡± Takki remarked later to Dirant as they moseyed through town on a route which happened to give them views of the gates, the temple, and the houses of the oligarch and several of his guests. ¡°There''s a theory that festivals aren''t really about celebrating anything. They exist to siphon off excess excitement before stabbings and arsons go up again.¡±


    The relative silence spurred Dirant to loquacity, as if he might refresh Koshat Dreivis''s tired spirit by talking at it. That never worked on people, but towns might be different. ¡°A similar theory comes up at times, though more influential I believe is the interpretation which emphasizes the community-sorting element. That is, it holds the attendee understands by the behavior of other participants who among them is most likely to help him in a fight, that being the ones who comport themselves as one believes appropriate for the occasion, and who ought not be considered reliable on account of improper conduct. Many follow the reasoning to one of two conclusions, either that the states of Greater Enloffenkir must adopt a universal set of customs in order to strengthen the confederation, or that each state must guard its distinct traditions and so not be deceived into believing the bonds among GE members to be stronger than they are. Is that the clamor of repair work which the wind carries from the temple?¡±


    Takki was already listening with an ear cleared of scarf and hair for best results. ¡°I think they''re actually fixing it up. That''s probably easier than pretending to. What other social theories are circulating?¡±


    ¡°I wonder if they are paid for their cover job. Ah, there is this proposal concerning cultural categorization. An academic named Obentad Etimalpir divides civilizations into the Beaver Dam Type and the Ant Hill Type. Most of our states, and Pavvu Omme Os also, are obvious results of immense coordination like beaver dams. Drastlif by contrast appears rude, and the forces which create it are hidden underground as it were. It must be said before you deliver the objection you now contemplate, the first of many no doubt, that the framework is not taken seriously. Instead the affection for the idea among the general populace has inspired similar conceptions in countless advice columns and personality questionnaires.¡±


    ¡°That''s good to know, Ressi. I''d better get started. First, ants are often used as a symbolic representation of organization. An entire class that specializes in teamwork is named after them. Second, how sure would you be that a dam isn''t just a logjam if you don''t see beavers around it?¡±


    ¡°A good start.¡±


    Under Dirant''s encouragement, Takki''s tirade grew in intensity until she was gesticulating like the Yosribdi. She may have been crying a little too, but Drastlifars thought nothing odd about that. If Dirant had known to inquire, he would have learned some questions were being asked about him for not making others cry more often. It showed a lack of energy in an unattached young man.


    Takki eventually ran out of complaints. ¡°So in the end, I do think it''s a provocative thesis. Adabans are more inventive than we credit them for being.¡± She reconsidered that statement, though not because of the insult. ¡°Ressi, is Obentad Etimalpir an Adaban?¡±


    ¡°A Mabonn, I believe.¡±


    ¡°I don''t mean to be difficult, but are you sure those are all different tribes?¡±


    ¡°Ah, there is controversy over that also.¡±


    ¡°That''s magnificent to hear. Will you explain a little more?¡±


    With Takki''s encouragement, Dirant recalled as precisely as he could the dates when the Rikan, Mabonnish, and Ottkiran languages were last observed in anyone''s status and went on to describe the resulting claim that the tribes ought to be considered extinct along with their particular speech. ¡°The legend states that an accusation that those tribes will consent to their dissolution and subsequent integration into the Adabans the same day Heweks is confirmed to have died out always results in a sales boost for the publication which prints it,¡± he concluded.


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    ¡°You have a lot going on down there, don''t you, Ressi? We don''t hear much about that kind of thing. Neighbors are better liked the less seen, after all.¡±


    ¡°Is that a saying?¡±


    ¡°Yes, but I don''t think it will catch on here.¡± Takki tapped her novice fan on Dirant''s wrist and rested it on his arm in such a position that it pointed toward a house where a woman was passing through the curtain drawn across the entrance while the people who actually lived there offered no invitation, objection, or the least amount of attention, a circumstance unthinkable to the northerners. The practice of drawing a curtain during the day and closing the door at night made sense, however. Monsters and bugs called for different precautions.


    Following dinner, curiosity about the repairs, inconsequential as they were, led Dirant inside the temple where he attended an evening ceremony. The liturgy made use of forms of Drastlimez far too archaic and theologically resonant for him to understand. At least he recognized a few of the gods in their niches, or thought he did. Mitistiggefokand had a healthy beard never seen in depictions back home, but he looked as grave as Holzd never did.


    Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain was also there to show his devotion to the heads above the heads, the highest councilors, the dwellers in lunar palaces far from the troubles of the world. It behooved armigers to put in an appearance, not at every service, but weekly at the least frequent, he informed Dirant while walking outside with him. ¡°Respect oft is more demanded than given for all the flowers we place on the deed,¡± he elaborated. ¡°When we demanders submit ourselves to the captains eternal, the flowers bloom brighter with the assurance that we do not despise those who kneel. In Redrin, I comprehend not in the least how they manage resentment between high and low with a nobility that pretends to be the sky never-yielding.¡± He stopped to show his respect to Millim Takki Atsa, who had stayed outside in order to find out what the security team did during pauses in the repair work. A lot of scratching, it turned out.


    ¡°They manage through mutual incomprehensibility so far as I have seen,¡± Dirant said.


    ¡°Have you then traveled through that country long troubled from above and every side, not least the ugly sea?¡±


    ¡°That''s the perfect description,¡± Takki said. ¡°Of the sea, I mean.¡±


    Naturally the Drastlifan gentleman''s opinion on the subject of ant hills was desired, though the beaver dams took some explaining. His own view was that Drastlif resembled more a series of bee hives.


    During that discussion, the group wandered the town and incorporated Petarun Bavan-Ston, who had completed for the day his efforts to tear down obstacles to blessed health. The doctor expressed his regret over missing the evening service because of his duties and further opined that if Drastlif was a land of hives as Eizesl Nein-Cadops-Bain suggested, it was the gods who owned and operated the honey-rich enterprise.


    Increasingly elaborate metaphors engrossed the lively conversation''s participants, so much so that Takki had to work to shush them. ¡°Do you hear that? The marsh monsters aren''t usually that loud, are they? Or is this a seasonal phenomenon?¡±


    The others admitted they had not heard the cry which so disturbed her and therefore were unable to deliver an opinion on its strangeness. Aside from that, only Petarun Bavan-Ston had the local experience required to form a meaningful judgment, a fact which in no way prevented Takki from soliciting their thoughts. While she was herding the group nearer the marsh-facing gate for better listening, however, she froze. Everything did. A chilling mist blew in, and what it touched lost warmth and visibility.


    ¡°Muibarais''s mercy!¡± exclaimed Petarun Bavan-Ston. The northerners rushed to consult Loigwin''s expression for information on whether a gentleman ought to say such a thing in public. Evidently nothing scandalous had occurred, at least in the opinion of one young man. One knew how those could be, even if they happened to be Nein-Cadops-Bains.


    Loigwin of that very family asked, ¡°Is this an attempt on the temple''s fortunes, the people''s own rather?¡± Though he had no weapon on him, he loosened up Acrobatically. It would be no surprise if he possessed some rank in Boxing or a similar ability which contributed to his doubt over whether he ought to be included among the combat classes.


    ¡°The matter may be more serious than that,¡± Dirant said. Then he reconsidered. The Bodan-Tins had no shortage of candidates for the position of their head, after all, and the funeral fees would be manageable after the family accountants finished their work. Certainly assassinations ought not to be countenanced, but their importance might well be exaggerated, for all that he prayed for the long life of his host. ¡°That is, the potential crime is greater in severity though affecting fewer people. Eizesl Bavan-Ston, this Eizesl is an armiger, and what is your opinion?¡±


    Petarun nodded, Dirant believed. The icy fog obscured even that. No people beyond the small group were visible in the slightest, though the usual shouts and screams proved they were out there. The doctor kept his voice low for that reason. ¡°I concur, Sajaitin. Eizesl, before your arrival honored this Koshat Dreivis, an attempt was made on Stanops Bodan-Tin''s life.¡±


    ¡°******!¡± Whatever Loigwin said then, nobody had ever mentioned its meaning to Dirant or Takki, which supplied clear evidence of its character. Those young men and their undignified yet expressive language.


    Dirant agreed entirely despite not understanding the specific word. ¡°Takki, are you able to guide us to the house in this?¡±


    ¡°Yes, but I won''t. The guards will kill us.¡± Her straightforward assertion dispersed, not the mist, but any reluctance to embrace her position on the proposal.

 46. The State Of The Monster In The Modern Period

    Against Lying Tradition, We May State Never Have Our Combatants Been So Effective As They Are Today


    ¡°Ah, that is true. Your composure and logic in situations such as this is a model for all Battlers.¡± Turning to Loigwin, in a conversational sense only given that his own fingers would have been undetectable by then if not permanently attached, Dirant explained. ¡°Eizesl, the Stanops brought in security under the guise of a temple repair crew.¡±


    ¡°A horse that can see its rider''s home on the horizon is less encouraged than I am because of that news. We need do naught then but immobilize ourselves, you suggest?¡± A bolder or less honest person''s voice might have quivered with indignation at the idea or else resentment of his own impotence, but Loigwin''s stayed even like that of someone who considered emergencies no time for high emotion.


    ¡°Does anyone disagree?¡± Takki asked.


    Since the faction in favor of being cut down by zealous Bodan-Tin warriors had long since disappeared on account of its complete success in achieving its goals, nobody did. The knot stayed still, barring some shivering, and allowed time and mist to pass while contemplating unpleasant things.


    ¡°It cannot be true that Eizesl Dogai-Brein is brazen enough to employ this tactic,¡± Dirant at last said as a defense against an accusation he was unsure anyone but him had made, and that silently. ¡°That he might attempt to kill Stanops Bodan-Tin is a possibility, and that he would do so twice is a claim I can be persuaded to accept. This however is assuredly an attempt to frame him.¡±


    ¡°I don''t see how I can agree with you there, Ressi.¡± Takki had disappeared from sight altogether, even when Dirant remembered to look down.


    ¡°There is no time more suitable than this to put forth an argument,¡± he said in what he guessed to be her direction. ¡°Is there some compulsion that makes him expose himself by using his known bodyguards so, or?¡±


    ¡°Oh, no, I was objecting to the idea that this has anything to do with murders. Those three are probably escaping from monsters. Listen to that.¡±


    The sounds of feet hitting paved streets as if they had insulted somebody''s wife which Dirant had attributed to either running guards or general disorderliness may indeed have been Chisops and his two advertisements as Takki proposed, but the louder and louder thumps must have had another cause.


    ¡°It may be . . .¡± Petarun paused to review his idea before he committed the fault of deceiving the Stanops''s guests with erroneous information. After listening longer, the short period between two thumps followed by a longer silence convinced him of his supposition''s accuracy. ¡°That may just be a poolfoot. But whatever is it doing in town? That has not once happened in my allotment of years or my father''s.¡±


    ¡°How big do those get around here, Eizesl? If you don''t know exact measurements I understand, but I''d appreciate an approximation.¡± Takki''s question did not result from idle interest. The doctor would surely make himself an accomplice to a violent act and potentially the creation of a new coat if he cooperated.


    He did. ¡°The front foot is typically five feet in width and three in depth. The height ranges from ten to fifteen feet. The marsh variety is among the smaller as a rule. The coloration is a bluish-green.¡±


    ¡°Thank you. I don''t think I need to trap it first, then. All right, I''m going, and don''t the rest of you go wandering off and getting lost. Seifis Oimer! Seifis Kwin! I''m going to kill it! You can help if you want!¡±


    Her voice faded as she ran off. Their response could not be heard, if they made any, which they did not, because of a boom which caused shudders in all who felt it. That may have been Chisops Dogai-Brein yelling a command to his underlings, since after it the fog dispersed like a crowd disappointed when two young men decide against a fisticuffs-based solution to a disagreement. The rumored poolfoot then stood unconcealed.


    Whether its forward foot did indeed create all the continent''s pools and ponds not made by men which began as indentations later filled by rain, waves, floods, or seeping water as tradition held, it looked capable of it. That single huge hoof certainly had the weight to damage crops, roads, and skulls. The rear foot that followed, steadying the creature while the front propelled it, did heavy work as well despite being smaller in every dimension.


    The two hooves of the thing absorbed all the attention in museums and in the wild as well, but the rest of it was also quite enormous. Between the legs and the prey-spearing talons, two on each side held folded until the poolfoot sensed below it any of the fish, frogs, and vermin it liked to devour, its massive bulk presented an indistinguishable mass because of the tangled fur that covered it. The coat-makers thought little of that fur except for a smooth, glossy patch around the part of the monster which might be called the nape of the neck with only a little imagination.


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    The amateur may have looked at the talons and believed them to be a threat, but there was no evidence that a poolfoot had ever speared and eaten a human. Naturally the person who underwent the experience would no longer be able to speak about it, but other witnesses ought to have been able to testify if it ever happened. Battler Millim Takki Atsa therefore risked nothing but her sense of smell when she approached from the side to leap up its flank and slash away with her halberd while gripping a lock of its green fur.


    The Hail Mistress and Sleet Mistress, under standing orders to prioritize the safety of their clients over victory, directed disabling frost at the poolfoot''s legs with their wands as if conducting two rival orchestras which had through some error been booked for the same concert hall at the same hour. Bystanders who crawled out of houses that had given them refuge in order to assess the damage saw instead an awe-inspiring battle and little damage, though more certainly than they liked.


    One Drastlifar, however, had his attention diverted from that spectacle by something far more doubtful as to its outcome. Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain, who along with Dirant and Petarun believed wandering off to be a distinct action from walking closer, uttered a shocked exclamation. ¡°Wuislaf''s stains, is there anyone who looks as much like Gretlin Kair as much as he?¡± He pointed at a young fellow amid the growing crowd of spectators whose looks might have been called unremarkable if not for how exceptionally suited they were for an underling, lackey, or henchman.


    The famous captain-inspector''s book emphasized the importance of cultivating contacts at every level of society as a part of facilitating identifications of unknown persons, and there was an unprompted example. Without revealing his fierce interest, he hoped, Dirant said, ¡°That man has been in town for some time. He is an acquaintance, or?¡±


    Loigwin frowned. ¡°We''ve shared a soothing sip before, yes. We aren''t members of the same club, but someone brings in someone else and cordiality overtakes the world. But . . .¡±


    ¡°I wasn''t informed,¡± Petarun observed with some resentment.


    ¡°Ought you to have been?¡±


    ¡°Certainly, Sajaitin. I should be provided all relevant medical information if a Kair is visiting.¡± The doctor''s statements and Loigwin''s nod were in accord. ¡°What if he took ill? Are we to leave to cruel chance such things? I have Eizesl Nein-Cadops-Bain''s details of course. A most healthy young man.¡±


    ¡°I''ve been blessed in many ways,¡± Loigwin admitted. ¡°And behold, where may be his shield? He cannot be here unheralded. That would be . . . He cannot.¡±


    Since the irregularity of Gretlin Kair''s presence had been confirmed by two separate sources, Dirant revealed facts he earlier omitted after drawing his companions back a bit to prevent being overheard. They had to speak rather loudly to beat the poolfoot''s groans in response to a Battler''s furious blows, but because the onlookers had started cheering, the chance of detection stayed even.


    The full story, contrary to his outsider expectations, diminished Loigwin''s surprise. ¡°There are occasions when delicacy well-meant becomes deceit unintentional, and this may be one. The Kairs are an armiger family certainly, their arms a testament to wealth and honor in proportions unequal. I don''t say their enterprises are never legal, but it is not those which make their reputation.¡± If the immaculately respectable young Nein-Cadops-Bain said that in a tone not entirely supportive of his younger acquaintance, the Kairs were not a family that required support.


    ¡°Ah, and so that eizesl is perhaps a higher sort of henchman involved in chicanery of such magnitude that the Stanops, should he learn of it, must either prevent it or take it over, provided he has any care for his reputation.¡±


    ¡°It''s not impossible.¡±


    The poolfoot was not enduring its opponents well during that exchange, to say nothing of a counteroffensive. Thrill-seeking hunters and coat-makers agreed in preferring every other monster but a few, if for different reasons. The poolfoot''s incapacity in battle required more eloquence than most elite combatants possessed to make the story sound good later.


    The monster''s end was as inevitable as its invasion was inexplicable. Koshat Dreivis remembered its passing long afterward as the time when a couple common houses got emergency repairs from a temple crew, a more exalted variety of workmen in Drastlif who never otherwise would perform such a service.


    That incident, the destruction rather than the later restoration, evidently decided Gretlin Kair to take his leave. He darted gate-ward. ¡°That''s tremendously dubious,¡± Loigwin noted.


    ¡°I begin to wonder if this is an inventive assassination attempt after all,¡± said Dirant. ¡°It is a shame I cannot follow Eizesl Kair and put questions to him, seeing as the Stanops requires me to be in town in a few days. To run him down in that time is an unsure proposition.¡±


    ¡°I''m not sure any authority will agree with that, Sajaitin.¡± Loigwin hesitated in confusion before he realized the ignorance behind the divergence in their views. ¡°The opinion of most you ask would be that any Kair''s destination upon leaving this playground built for the pleasure of the mask, the wheel, and the dolphin will be Steiraf, a day''s journey for a donkey much burdened and hours for the healthy and enthusiastic. Is your enthusiasm renewed?¡±


    ¡°Or were you just making excuses not to put yourself to any trouble?¡± That was Dirant''s best guess at the unsaid continuation. Probably the genuine version carried less of an accusatory implication; Loigwin could hardly think Dirant to be qualified by either class or occupation for a criminal investigation, though perhaps he considered every last Adaban bold enough for any enterprise. Naturally he did not realize Dirant suspected the matter to be entangled with a religious obligation, and still less that the god of Ritualists delighted in complex situations regardless of their other qualities.

 47. The Enforcement Of Etiquette

    He Is Greatly Mistaken Who Considers Mere Disapproval Sufficient To Maintain Society''s Frail Edifice


    ¡°It is,¡± Dirant confirmed. ¡°There is the matter of obtaining permission from Stanops Bodan-Tin, and some awkwardness exists because we cannot with honesty aver Eizesl Kair is involved. Moreover, never having seen the Stanops in dudgeon myself, I am free to draw my own sketch of the scene. It is suitable from what I have heard of Drastlif''s great to include in a novel of horrific encounters.¡±


    ¡°What are we talking about? Is someone in trouble?¡± Takki shook some chilly droplets from a clump of blue-green fur while she trotted over.


    ¡°It remains to be determined. There are cultural factors. What is your opinion, Eizesl Nein-Cadops-Bain? Eizesl Bavan-Ston?¡±


    Loigwin offered his first by his right as an armiger. ¡°Your guess is not a fantasy to judge by what is said of the Stanops. A misunderstanding, or even an understanding true but unwise, is best avoided. I''ll venture to repay the honor of this invitation with a favor, and that''s all there is to it. Eizesl, will you inform the Stanops of our departure soon taken and soon ended?¡±


    ¡°Gladly so, Eizesl.¡± Petarun Bavan-Ston sounded just as glad as he claimed to be.


    The doctor hustled off to the Bodan-Tin residence, leaving to Loigwin the business of armigers. In furtherance of that, he said, ¡°I''m going to be a bit presumptuous and make accord the excuse for an audacious act by riding to Steiraf and requesting entry at the very wall. The road is shorter with company, they say.¡±


    ¡°That is an invitation for us,¡± Dirant clarified for Takki. ¡°I recommend we accept.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I''m sure that''s the right thing to do then. Do I have time to stash this first?¡± She shook the clump a few more times and wrung it out, necessary precautions before she dropped it off in a house she did not herself own.


    The three agreed that Dirant and Takki would give Loigwin ten minutes to make all relevant preparations including the acquisition of horses. Two of them wondered at the third''s optimism, which again confused that third for a time before he remembered the hardships of the common man and tapped the shield woven into his jacket.


    ¡°Ah,¡± Dirant said.


    ¡°Even here?¡± asked Takki. ¡°We''re in Koshat Dreivis, not, um, Imslif, was it?¡±


    ¡°It will be Imslif at any time you visit, but until then call it rather Morosiltif, the city of sorrow. But yes, even here.¡±


    Somewhere, sometime, a Drastlifar of high station overestimated the advantages of his position, but on that day Loigwin waited with three horses fully outfitted at the appointed time and in fact rather earlier, thereby proving both the influence of the major families and the key difference in attitude between his tribe and the Dvanjchtlivs. How he planned to ride on Steiraf and offer immediate battle before word or succor could reach it with only one set of steeds, no Dvanjchtliv could figure. Clearly his arrangements made no practical sense.


    The slow, Drastlifanly ride southwest past the fields and trees of Koshat Dreivis into the trees and fields of Steiraf, not that they could tell the difference without a map and surveyor''s tools, gave Loigwin and Dirant time to inform Takki of the journey''s purpose and discuss their plans.


    ¡°Please tell me if I make a mistake, Eizesl.¡±


    ¡°Should you do so, Sajaitin, everyone will agree it was a fault of my own for misinforming you.¡±


    There was probably a standard courteous response to that sort of statement, but as Dirant did not know it, he went straight on through. ¡°Is it our hope that the Kair family will permit us to interrogate young Gretlin in order to avoid a dispute with the Bodan-Tins, and therefore there will not be any need for us to say anything about an attempted murder, or?¡±


    ¡°We may hope for that and not earn reproach. Provided they are not implicated in the conspiracy, the opportunity to discuss their infraction with a third party when by right the Bodan-Tins may impose the penalty against them is a debt joyful to owe and to redeem. That they will make the wayward eizesl available is no chance but rather a certainty unless the heavy winter pressed hard on their brains and made them mad. Suppose they are involved as a family and not a lone eizesl, and there is hope yet to buoy us, for it is all trade with them whether legal or otherwise. It is ever their policy to ignore the Council, else long since theirs was a seat at it, as any of a political mind will attest.¡±


    As much as Loigwin''s words did to elucidate the present situation, he caused a new question to form in the minds of the northerners. Takki put it forth. ¡°This . . . heavy winter. Do you mean winter is always heavy, or that this one is heavier than usual? I don''t mean to sound incredulous. It''s just that I would think it''s late spring if I went by the weather.¡±


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    She leveled her halberd at the flourishing foliage which even at that season demanded to be trimmed or hacked down entirely by the laborers the riders passed. There was also a gopher being pursued by yet more Drastlifars bent on gathering valuable hole intelligence. Takki and Dirant considered their point proved, but Loigwin looked unaware an argument had begun.


    ¡°Always winter weighs heavy, Seifis.¡± So far as he was concerned, nothing more need be said.


    On that topic at least. He could be persuaded to give a preview of their destination. ¡°Do you see how the land rises here so that no sea of pebbles and sand meets the salt-laden field where graze the scaled and finned? Further on, the cliff hides grottoes visible only to ships and less visible still when contrivances are used which some report are. I''ve never been here before, let me say. Steiraf is a small town and its harbor more welcoming but a little than Dreivis''s beach, but the Kairs like it well for reasons their own.¡±


    Many others, including, Dirant admitted, himself, would have laid on their pointedly clever commentary in case anyone failed to notice. He would not have rated Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain among the ranks of the subtle before, but perhaps the entire Onerid situation had shown him too much Loigwin and not enough Nein-Cadops-Bain. The reverse was also possible.


    Steiraf, they saw when they reached it, possessed defenses, and it might have been mistaken perception on Dirant''s part that the walls looked higher than those of Koshat Dreivis, though Takki also commented to that effect. She further noted, ¡°They have platforms behind them, too. You can tell by where the sentries are.¡±


    ¡°Ah, I do see a hat over to the left. Perhaps the red feather is a signal and not a fetching accessory.¡±


    ¡°All fashion is a signal, Ressi. I didn''t need to tell you that, but we have to talk about something while Eizesl Nein-Cadops-Bain gets us inside.¡±


    ¡°That is why we are speaking in Adaban, or?¡±


    ¡°Yes. Now we look like implacable Adaban bodyguards. You could be a Distorter even though you couldn''t be. Um, did that make sense?¡±


    ¡°It may have, though I admit to confusion over the impressions people form of me. No two agree so far as I can determine except in their unfavorable nature.¡±


    ¡°That means there''s a lot to you, Ressi.¡±


    The guards, unable to make so important a decision themselves, sent a messenger into town. That messenger never returned, and the man who came in his place startled the visitors. His jacket had sewn on it a black field below a blue sky and a red and green whale facing each other as if to test the endurance of their skulls, which represented, the foreigners presumed and the native had memorized along with his letters, the Kairs. Did the relatively simple emblem indicate a lack of ennobling history, a lineage so ancient that it recalled times when they needed fewer adornments to distinguish families, or a refusal to engage in the opportunistic splittings and combinings of families employed by the ancestors of most councilors? The second and third, Loigwin told them later. At the time, they comprehended only the three thin lines which traced the shield''s edge. The head of the Kairs himself had come to welcome a son of the Nein-Cadops-Bains.


    His towering prestige aside, the head reminded Dirant of his oldest brother, but only because of the glasses. This man looked friendlier and more approachable for one thing. Also he was a Drastlifar, complete with beard. As far as age, he looked old enough to have produced a Gretlin and young enough to get out a few more if he applied himself to the task with vigor. He wore a red cummerbund which, whatever the fashion experts might say on the subject, decently complimented his jacket of darkest blue.


    While the usual cloud of helpful fellows surrounded so eminent a man, a different layer of society breathed it forth. The friends of the Bodan-Tins at least tried to appear to be respectable, hard-working, and well-off members of the skilled professions; goldsmith Isarx Tomein was a model of the type. The Kair supporters, meanwhile, mostly looked to be people who, at some point in their lives, had been forced to eat rats to survive. They had recovered from the ordeal of course. Probably their Muscle, Verve, and Sticktoitiveness saw them through, whereas Coordination and Panache favored the Koshat crowd and were loved by it in return. Those were all superficial observations, but Dirant felt confident about them.


    The Kair head executed the standard maneuver of pulling Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain through the gate by means of the double handshake. ¡°I thought today to be a grand day, but I didn''t know anything. It''s so much grander now that you''re here, Eizesl. Kargin Kair. And you?¡± If he had needed to ask, he would not have said eizesl or been there at all, but etiquette imposes certain requirements upon a conversation.


    ¡°Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain, Beran, and Eizesl Rasto Takki Upki''s daughter, Seifis Millim Takki Atsa, is here.¡± That Beran was one of the honorifics learned by the northerners since their arrival in Drastlif. It meant ¡°lucky,¡± and if any profession preferred luck to any other quality, it was sailors. Kargin''s polite smile widened and deepened at receiving that address as he moved on to Dirant.


    ¡°Dirant Rikelta,¡± said Dirant Rikelta.


    Before Kargin Kair could call Dirant Eizesl, which while not exactly rude was at the same time not the most suitable term, Loigwin hurried to explain his presence and drop a hint together. ¡°I thought someone not attached to the Bodan-Tins might be an aid, and contrary to the groundless fears of a timid man afraid of all the world, Sajaitin Rikelta and this Seifis accepted my request. They say wool and thorns alike come in masses, and it''s just the same here. If I''d known you were here, I never would have worried at all.¡± What was so aidful about them, or intimidating for that matter, Dirant did not quite understand, but Kargin nodded one of those slow nods that showed how serious the nodder was.


    ¡°But I''m grateful you did. It''s nothing for us to think of our welfare, but for you to, it''s almost too much. Why not come this way?¡± Kargin''s lackeys took charge of the horses, and Dirant then mused he ought to have posed a few questions earlier about the likelihood of their being murdered, their bodies never found. He might have done so in a cunning way such as asking Loigwin how often the Nein-Cadops-Bains massacred unsolicited visitors. Monthly? Weekly? It was too late for that, and Loigwin looked neither worried nor like the sort of person who practiced philosophy so thoroughly that he no longer feared death, viewing it as a mere biological process.

 48. Even One Town Distant

    Another World Lies No Farther Than That


    Both denser and sparser were the houses of Steiraf compared to those of Koshat Dreivis. The town had none of the narrow walkways warded from rain by the eaves of the surrounding buildings. Instead, wider streets would have separated the town''s buildings into blocks had they been straighter and more regular than they were. Evidently the Kairs refrained from asking the people to give up their homes on the assurance they would soon move into better ones, which according to Loigwin was a common practice when municipal reorganization became desirable. Within each street-defined segment, residences seemed to lean against one another for support just as the residents did. Many were not even circular.


    The path to the Kair domicile, or perhaps to the execution site, led past no such delightful contrivances as Poiskops Bodan-Tin scattered around his town, though there was a splendid clock tower in a Mabonn style: about two stories tall, four-faced, and crowned by a dome. All the innovative equipment went directly to the secluded grottoes of rumor.


    As for the house itself, it constituted an entire complex of yards and outbuildings surrounded by its own wooden barrier equal to the outer town wall in craftsmanship if not in height. The main building''s appearance suggested either the Kairs or Bodan-Tins had hired the other''s architect, most likely on account of the excellent job done by that sajaitin (non-euphemistic).


    In some of the yards, employees who wore stoles bearing the Kair shield over sleeveless shirts measured, cut, rolled, and packaged some material doubtless suitable for transformation into cummerbunds at that post-dinner hour during which they required lanterns to carry on. In others, dyes were applied. That was the work Dirant was able to see for sure from the entrance; past that, he thought women may have been weaving those famous tapestries he would like to be able to afford someday, though not so that he could buy one.


    Kargin ushered them through the main entrance to an indoors scene far more active than what Poiskops allowed in his domicile. Business went on behind every curtain to judge by snatches of conversation intelligible over ubiquitous murmurs and rustles. Employees crossed the central court from and to every direction. The ceaseless use to which the chambers were put might cause a person anxious about the health of the residents, a new family doctor for example, to wonder when and where everyone slept until he at last observed their long, long breaks when the sun rose highest.


    At the far end of the house, past a curtain too thick and heavy to be considered one any longer much like an athlete who long ago accepted a coaching position, the Kairs kept a room that smelled wealthy and looked it, too. The ornamented jars lined up near the walls, probably Obeneutian, were being wasted if not filled with diamonds and pungent oils from other continents. Display cases covered in glass and resting on gold and ivory bases held the family''s treasures such as a dirty old coin, a rusted sword with frayed cord wrapped around the hilt, a chipped bell, and a yellowed document. A ring of chairs, their feet lost in the black carpet''s high pile, faced the plushest seat Dirant had ever seen. It sat on a strip of blue carpet that led to the door. One of the chairs held Gretlin while the kingly station comforted a lady trending toward agedness.


    Some might have said her to be well into it, but only the rare person who lacked both manners and a survival instinct. Then again, commenting on her age may have been an act of insightful courtesy because, contrary to the usual tendency, she looked to be embracing her future more than her past by throwing off all fashion and huddling within an array of shawls so dense and intricate that a team of extraction experts ought to have been standing by in case she wished to stand up. Nevertheless, she managed somehow to read pages bound between plain brown covers. A ledger, Dirant dared to conjecture despite knowing nothing of Drastlifan commercial aesthetics. The woman closed it and laid it aside on a nearby table; both actions caused Gretlin to flinch.


    The meeting was of the private kind, the proof being that the lady introduced herself. ¡°Weisaf Kair,¡± she said, and against expectation her voice was not lost among the soft slithers and squeaks of material and furniture as she adjusted herself to face the visitors. If anything, the odds favored her against Poiskops Bodan-Tin in a shouting competition. ¡°And you are?¡±


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    After a round of introductions, everyone sat down except Kargin. ¡°It''s just happenstance that I''m here, or should I call it good fortune? I think so. The impatient tides are the roads I take however, so again, please accept my regards, Eizesl Nein-Cadops-Bain, Sajaitin Rikelta, Seifis.¡± He stepped out at a pace barely short of a rush, much as when a gentleman wishes to absent himself from company so as to make crucial adjustments to his portfolio without revealing he overheard a private conversation held in a corner of the drawing room which carried powerful implications for such. If Loigwin had ever managed to hide surprise in his life, it was not then.


    The Kairs ignored that. Guests might adopt whatever outrageous expressions they liked as one of their many prerogatives. Weisaf folded her hands which thereupon became hidden in countless folds. ¡°I hope I''m not wrong to think that wasting your time is an offense harder to forgive than anything our Gretlin has done this time, Eizesl. In Koshat Dreivis was he, permission unasked and not given?¡±


    Loigwin kept his head slightly lowered in what Dirant surmised to be a conciliatory attitude. ¡°It will be well if he need answer to Woksan above, though there is a penalty for every indiscretion, but there may be more than that.¡±


    ¡°We expected it might be serious. He''s been told how it''s best for him to behave. Go ahead, silly.¡±


    That sounded like a plain description rather than an affectionate nickname. Gretlin bore it. He did look sullen, but nature deserved the praise for that rather than his attitude. ¡°Sure. Nobody''s wasting time unrecoverable, right? Here''s the thing whole and complete, right? The big Eizeur, that''s Helsodenk Nifkleskir, wrote and said he''d pay me to go to Marshland, meet him, watch for a compatriot of his, watch out if persons certain showed up, just general matters and inoffensive. Nothing to bother a stanbrops over, affirmed?¡±


    Weisaf closed her eyes and inhaled. ¡°Most learn to watch their feet after they fall off a cliff but a single time, stumbler.¡± Her tone persisted in its evenness. Familiarity doubtless aided here, since Loigwin looked as if he had just bitten into bread not cooked all the way through. Whatever stanbrops meant in a dictionary, its usage was evidently not appropriate in those surroundings.


    ¡°A stanops, right, sure. He''s busy with affairs people like me can''t conceive.¡±


    Weisaf elaborated on an oligarch''s proper duties. ¡°Making laws they don''t themselves follow and parading around Dubwasef, upstarts in an upstart capital is what they''re busy with, but that''s no excuse for you. Pardon me for interrupting, Eizesl. We have to push the point right away lest it forever be forgotten, dog-like. Go on, Gretlin.¡±


    The young man thus addressed may have been, rather than a mere natural henchman, the ideal henchman. The forbearance he exhibited against insults which must have moved others to tears or violence gave the visitors a better opinion of him. In one respect. Regardless, he went on. ¡°I remember now the big Eizeur wrote suggesting, not saying it outright and simple but like sketching a map, he''d thank me if I didn''t get permission first because he was coming over with the guy''s nephew, who wanted his arrival unpredicted. Storm-like more than sun-like, right? I didn''t get the course of that so good, but I know I''m not smart and we''ve been doing Nifky jobs for a long time. Uh, forgiveness, that''s jobs for Eizeur Nifkleskir. So I did it, and I made sure that Adaban seffif turned up¡ª¡±


    ¡°What was that?¡± That drove Weisaf''s voice up for the first time.


    ¡°That seifis of Adaban heritage who flings a fan adroitly as anyone, but I stuttered just now, forgiveness. Then there were those cavalry goons, too. I carried out my tasks to the uttestmost, but in a report thorough I can''t leave out I was supposed to meet this Tand coming in named Essar but never saw him. That was weird. But the nephew showed up as foretold. I wasn''t sure if he knew me so out of sight like hopes and worries I kept, right? All until today, because, look, I know how strange this''ll strike the ear, but I''m awake and aware and serious.¡± Gretlin leaned forward after looking around to spot anybody who dared employ the classic spying technique of standing in the middle of the room. ¡°I think somebody''s trying to make that stanops a former stanops! Well, the solitary reason there''s no proverb that reminds us the place to be when a stanops goes over the side is anywhere else is just this: nobody needs to be told that, right? That''s why I ran.¡±


    ¡°Gretlin.¡± Weisaf had wrestled her voice back to normal, a certain twitch in her hands notwithstanding. ¡°Blameless was that one maneuver of all you''ve attempted, and wise. You''ve grown up a little after all.¡±


    ¡°Aw, what can I say to that, grandma?¡±


    Apparently nothing, since his grandmother, provided that was not one of those terms of affection of which there had been no hint among the Kairs to that point, addressed Loigwin next. ¡°This is no new information to you, Eizesl.¡±


    ¡°Not so new as my journey hither, yet newer by far than it is to my companions. Allow them to ask questions and a gift to me and Stanops Bodan-Tin will it be that is lighter than birth and little else.¡±

 49. The Virtues Of Interrogation

    What Can Be Gained Should We More Often Interrogate Our Interests


    Dirant took that as his cue. ¡°Eizesl Kair, what is it that suggests to you an assassination is intended?¡± He did not add in, ¡°given that you claim not to have seen Essar, a man the size of a hamlet if that is the same person, strangle Poiskops Bodan-Tin a few yards away from you, which I believe because you let even me follow you.¡± For one thing, what an ugly sentence that would have been.


    ¡°Sure. There''s some intuition in there and judgmentalization about all the permutizations, but . . .¡±


    ¡°Sajaitin Rikelta is from Greater Enloffenkir,¡± Loigwin reminded him.


    ¡°I can see that. Classy vest, by the way.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    ¡°Yet you didn''t think to try to make your statement understandable for anyone outside your crude set,¡± Weisaf chided.


    ¡°Oh, sorry, sure. I am saying that there are many ideas you can get in your mind when you think about things that happened today . . .¡±


    Dirant pointed upwards. ¡°Please do not restrain yourself to that degree.¡±


    ¡°In between, huh? Exemplary. Chatting moderately, I won''t claim this is the one real takeaway, but when a poolfoot goes through a gate and heads straight for the biggest man''s hearth under a crime cloud, you can''t say there''s nothing to ponder and be a truth-teller, right? Straight for it. I''ve seen monsters act like that before, and they were all slathered with onsio first.¡±


    ¡°And what is onsio?¡± Dirant put it that way. Loigwin and Takki employed their own distinct phrasings like a choir when it breaks into several parts, a more challenging arrangement designed to please a sophisticated audience. Assuming the main part, Dirant continued. ¡°Is it merely some substance which resembles sio in certain ways?¡± His question owed its existence to his Adabanness, which caused him to interpret on as ¡°like, as if, characteristic of¡± when he heard it, regardless of the native language of the person who said it.


    ¡°That''s what it is,¡± Gretlin affirmed in a victory for Adabans everywhere. ¡°The big Eizeur''s got all these brains tremendous working on novel substances based on the stuff the Dogai-Breins are sending up north through us. It''s legal everywhere, too.¡± That last bit was not exactly true, as the big Eizeur or any other lawyer might have told him upon payment of a fee. Regulations in most countries extended to items which did not yet exist, let alone unpublicized discoveries, and ones related to monsters in particular. Still, a man might be forgiven for exaggerating the legal situation during a threatening investigation unless the investigators found out about it. ¡°Guessing, but he probably wants it to be just the same as sio, but it isn''t. So with sio, you feed it to monsters or inject them or whatever, and then no more do they aught but dream, right? But with onsio, it''s more like they''re concentrating real hard and forget everything else.¡±


    Takki handled the next question. ¡°What is being sent north by the Dogai-Breins? As much detail as you can give would be fine.¡±


    The glances Gretlin had been giving Weisaf had not yet resulted in any cautions, and so he continued answering free of dissimulation or restraint. ¡°I''d need subtle thinkers to tell me so I could tell you. They''re these weird chunks, sort of blue, like the blue mostly drained out but there''s a little left, and they''re kind of twisty like a picture of a fire. They drip, too. We wear gloves when we handle them.¡±


    ¡°Eizesl Dogai-Brein believes them to be segments of something he calls ''monster stations.''¡± Weisaf Kair''s clarification disturbed Gretlin, but she allayed his concern. ¡°That Eizesl came to us for help with his study because he knew we don''t seek a councilor''s vain seat. The logic holds for our guests as well. Do you think we signed a contract specifying we remain silent about his theories, tadpole?¡±


    That one came closer to affectionate. Furthermore, Weisaf likely heard her grandson mutter, ¡°Maybe you don''t,¡± when she talked about the lofty seat but nevertheless let it go. The Kairs were growing closer as a family. What a sentimental scene.


    ¡°Another question,¡± Dirant warned. ¡°What are the effects of onsio on humans?¡±


    Gretlin, a human himself, answered. ¡°The lone and happy fact I know is that it''s legal. You''d have to ask the big Eizeur about anything else.¡±


    That satisfied Dirant but left Loigwin with doubts. ¡°Is your stance moral, would you say?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± both Kairs said at once like a choir which preferred to keep its performances simple and broadly enjoyable.


    A Nein-Cadops-Bain normally encountered more hawing and a good bit more hemming, since the typical person was disinclined to give a firm opinion without first hearing his. Loigwin however had been through enough encounters with confident armigers and more confident drunks not to be distressed by firm conviction. ¡°Every ship hoists its own sails, after all. Leaving that, anyone would acknowledge the clouds in a year give less rain than the aid you''ve given in this one day. This private information, however, may be wanted in the public sphere to resolve onerous doubts.¡±


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    Weisaf said, ¡°I don''t think much of ''may'' save for when it turns to ''is.'' When it does, our Gretlin will be amenable.¡±


    ¡°Certainly. Information, however true, stated at the wrong time is a frivolous distraction.¡± Loigwin looked at his fellows. ¡°What else do we wish to know?¡±


    ¡°Did your orders describe the Tand? Did you know him from before, when you worked with Mr. Helsodenk?¡± Takki asked.


    Gretlin rubbed his whiskered cheeks. ¡°Do I really look that old?¡± He sounded more hopeful than the typical asker of the question.


    Weisaf, who did look old enough and was, answered that while she could confirm Helsodenk dealt with Tands and knew Tandish as well as anyone, he did not tell the Kairs about his associates over tea. Further questions followed from Dirant, who had wavered before in his anti-Helsodenk convictions but felt more confident with every answer. Of course Poiskops Bodan-Tin had carried on business with him at times, some of it legal. Naturally Poiskops had ratted him out when the Swadvanchdeuans applied pressure.


    ¡°And how did our embassy, that is to say the Greater Enloffenkir embassy to Drastlif, respond to these accusations against its legal consultant?¡± Dirant asked.


    ¡°It made them,¡± Weisaf answered.


    ¡°Ah.¡±


    The Kairs cooperated with the investigation down to the most trivial point. By the end of it, the working day had ended for people even as industrious as the Kairs'' employees. Weisaf Kair, on behalf of Kargin Kair of course, offered the visitors the full range of comfort from guest houses to free laundry service. Dirant searched his room for secret compartments, found one under the wardrobe, and gave it up for the night.


    The next day, the three waited for an escort at Loigwin''s recommendation. The inclination of the northerners to leave promptly so as to bother their hosts as little as possible would be taken in quite another spirit, he warned. They passed the time by wondering who it would be. Certainly not Kargin Kair, who had sailed long since.


    ¡°Did anyone else think he was speaking dishonestly about being here by accident?¡± Takki asked. ¡°But he really was.¡±


    Dirant spoke in a tone of reflection. ¡°I admit to it, and I must remind myself of this when I begin to suspect everything that happens is relevant to a single matter which has seized my own attention, and that is a frequent occurrence.¡±


    With Kargin gone and Gretlin an accessory of shame rather than honor, a certain Nolgerin Kair was chosen to attend the visitors. Speculation that the choice came down to who was awake at that hour would have been impolite to express right up until he told them that was the reason. He took them to the gate and handed them over to the cawing birds, the groggy gophers, and the early workers already looking forward to the noon break.


    The ride to Koshat Dreivis felt longer by far than that to Steiraf, for at the one end was exciting testimony and at the other a tricky situation which required a careful review of morality.


    ¡°Mr. Helsodenk is guilty of attempted assassination and several lesser crimes,¡± declared Dirant Rikelta. ¡°That is my firm conclusion. It derives from a medley of evidence, supposition, and an unwillingness to betray my earlier ideas. Yet he might enter any court to face these accusations and leave free, and no less so were I the judge through some humorous misunderstanding. That is to say, I am more convinced of his guilt than of anyone else''s, which is far from true certainty. Eizesl, is it an exaggeration due to my unfamiliarity with Drastlif''s ways to believe Mr. Helsodenk must end up murdered if we accuse him to the Stanops with the evidence we have?¡±


    Loigwin considered the question with such dedication that he permitted his head to roll about in time with his steed''s motions, behavior which Dirant had never seen him display before in their brief acquaintance. Perhaps it was simply too early for him and soon would begin to snore, but no. He spoke lucidly. ¡°There is no stanops save perhaps they of the Larstin-Megrafilts and Stit-Vakwaren-Oshorks who does not think of cunning and gain as his measure, and safety is not so prized. It would be no surprise at all if Stanops Bodan-Tin made use of Eizesl Kair''s knowledge to coerce Eizeur Nifkleskir so as to get a share of his business or the piloting of it entire. Still, it isn''t wrong to expect a death instead, always sudden and sometimes secret.¡±


    ¡°I''m not sure about the attitude toward courts and laws here,¡± Takki said. ¡°When Drastlifars talk about crime it always sounds as if everyone does what he likes and there''s nothing resembling order, but this isn''t a lawless country at all. We even met the police once. I don''t know what they''re called here.¡±


    ¡°They''re known as roundups, but I perpetrate a fraud if I don''t mention that is a term general and informal. Each has his proper rank such as Able Shoreman or Midshoreman, Seifis.¡± Loigwin''s head lolled some more. ¡°How to explain? Like breathing or walking, it is easily done but to describe, perplexing. There are times when . . . For example, if Eizesl Keiminops Bodan-Tin had been the target, the Stanops would put his lawyers to work, not his guards, and there would be no secrecy about it or especial concern. An attempt in Pikilif or Dubwasef would receive treatment far unlike too, for in those places a stanops''s power is no less but the affront would be. Were the Permissive Council sitting though, ah, my ineloquence and unclear thoughts frustrate me. I wonder that I can be borne at times.¡±


    Dirant spoke words of consoling sympathy. ¡°That is a common affliction, Eizesl. Who is an Ottkir and who a Rik is an easy distinction to me, but not to my tongue.¡±


    ¡°I''m really glad to hear that, Ressi,¡± Takki said. ¡°I thought I might be stupid, but what you two are saying now is that you need instruction in rhetoric.¡±


    ¡°Is that what we said, Eizesl?¡±


    ¡°We may have, Sajaitin. We are indeed far from our childhood lessons.¡± The suggestion that one displayed a deficiency in so fundamental a human operation as talking might perturb anyone, all the more an educated young gentleman who credited himself with livening up the scene when he chose to show up. Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain or Dirant Rikelta, for example.

 50. Arguments For And Against The Changing Of Careers

    It Must Be Admitted That To Enter A New Field Is As Much As To Deny A Place To The Patient Practitioner


    Even so, a matter of conscience still bedeviled the latter and had precedence over his new worry. ¡°Therefore I hesitate to bring this to Stanops Bodan-Tin despite the inescapable consideration that to refrain may be a comfort to participants in an unjust undertaking.¡± That clear statement of the situation satisfied Dirant and inspired him to check his status to be sure he had not missed the reward of improved Drastlimez proficiency. No, it was still Basic, but his XP showed undeniable improvement: 360/1000 to level 9.


    ¡°We have a saying for that,¡± Takki stated before she reconsidered. ¡°No, that isn''t quite the same. Ressi, what''s your guess about, ''A tall cliff or a taller cliff?''¡±


    ¡°Either one is the end of you. The implication may be enlarged to refer to any equally undesirable options. The perfect form of it must be that the options appear unequal at first so that careful reflection alone reveals the identity.¡±


    Takki held her arms straight left and right for a moment like a Drastlifan tennis judge calling that a ball landed within the play area. ¡°You figured it out, Ressi. That doesn''t get us anywhere, does it? I''m sorry about the distraction. Do you remember what I said about lieutenant-governors?¡±


    ¡°That many historical incidents have failed so far to disprove the hypothesis . . . ah, there it is.¡±


    <blockquote>


    Ability Drastlimez (Intermediate) gained.


    </blockquote>


    ¡°I achieved Intermediate proficiency in this excellent language,¡± Dirant clarified.


    ¡°Congratulations, Ressi!¡±


    ¡°It''s a pleasure to be here for it.¡± Loigwin leaned over to shake his hand.


    ¡°Thank you both.¡± Even the trees waved at him to acknowledge the progress made, or so someone might have surmised if unaware of the existence of wind. ¡°That lieutenant-governors have their headquarters burned down surprisingly frequently, and also that we must deal with the authorities we have,¡± Dirant resumed. ¡°I did and do find your argument persuasive, and if Stanops Bodan-Tin were a judge, the thing would be simple.¡±


    Takki pulled at her head scarf. ¡°I really think we should go straight to him and denounce Mr. Helsodenk, but if you''re still not sure, we could, just to hire the last cellist, confront the other suspects with what we learned.¡± The prelude came out normally enough, but the manner in which she rushed through the actual suggestion while she blushed with shame made clear how much she wanted to do that instead of what was correct.


    The delay inherent in her plan appealed to someone unconvinced about the correctness of shoving a man into a lion''s open maw based on hints and suggestions. If nothing else, remunerative secrets might spill out of Chisops Dogai-Brein or Keiminops Bodan-Tin if they were shaken a bit. ¡°You talked to the Kairs? Whatever they said, I simply wanted a loan to start up a business based on this new ritual that turns gold into better gold. The evidence is this scroll with the instructions. Look at it as much as you want.¡± Something of that sort. Dirant endorsed the plan without pausing to reword that scene more in line with the usual idiom of those gentlemen, so eager was he to proceed to the real thing.


    As for Loigwin, he had already done his duty as an oligarch''s relation and moved on to personal concerns. ¡°Is Onerid, excuse me, Seifis Paspaklest, well, how much does she know about the situation? Does it intrigue her?¡±


    ¡°She is unaware so far as I know. Takki, have you noticed otherwise, or?¡±


    ¡°That sounds right to me, Ressi.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± With that one sad word ended the just-begun career of Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain, private investigator. Drastlif was the worse for it, judging by how well he had done in his first case. Barely did he hear about the alarming crimes about him before he solved them all, possibly, and put two powerful families in minor debt to him, definitely. The latter portion carried a greater financial significance than the former. Moreover, none of that was a matter of good fortune; everything went as he planned and predicted. Dirant considered saying so, decided his relationship with Loigwin to be insufficiently intimate for him to offer career advice, and then did it regardless.


    ¡°We have roundups, family security, and private investigators enough. What do I add, a man of no exceptional ability nor renown apart from my name?¡± Loigwin objected.


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    ¡°That is it exactly,¡± countered Dirant. ¡°Tell me if I am mistaken in my guess that few of your station pursue that occupation. Likely your country''s detectives lack the social connections and familiarity with the practices of upper society which they ought to have to serve their clients best. The supply and the demand must be entirely unequal. There is your chance to enrich yourself and all society together.¡±


    ¡°Now that you''ve brought it up, Sajaitin, I haven''t heard of any such, but neither did I have reason to seek one out.¡±


    Sensing a potential convert, Takki enlisted herself as an aide in Dirant''s campaign. ¡°In Pavvu Omme Os, professionals usually include in their advertisements the highest rank they ever held and whether they own a house. It''s important information. Don''t you think a person''s background can be crucial?¡±


    ¡°There''s no doubt about that Seifis, not even for dullards like me. But still . . .¡±


    Dirant came back in. ¡°This is something I have only read. The claim is that little of what the investigator does has its resolution in the courts or anywhere public. Most often he is a negotiator between parties who all wish to keep the matter quiet. Really it is a noble occupation in its way.¡±


    Through all those urgings and recommendations, neither proponent of the career switch felt free to advance what both believed to be the most salient argument, that being he needed something to distract him after his romantic disappointment. That had not happened yet, but having met Keiminops, they trusted it would.


    Loigwin did not embrace their vision of his future before they reached the town of the Bodan-Tins. Naturally the persuaders had not hoped for so swift a success as that. A tree must be planted before it may grow and grow before it may leaf, and indeed his objections which started weak became insubstantial. It was a contemplative Nein-Cadops-Bain who dismounted at the gate of Koshat Dreivis and resumed the investigation as if paid to do so. ¡°Let us see quickly to our interrogation lest a delay in its reporting causes doubt where should be gratitude. Ho, Eizesl!¡± The hailed sentry stood at attention, a more involved maneuver down south than in Kitslof or Pavvu Omme Os considering he had been sitting in a chair and fanning himself with his hat. ¡°Tell me this and relieve me from ignoble ignorance. Where might Eizeur Nifkleskir be?¡±


    ¡°Oh, Eizesl, you don''t have to worry. He already went.¡±


    Without a horse to shake his head for him, Loigwin stood stiff. ¡°Went whither?¡±


    ¡°To your meeting, wasn''t it? He asked where you had gone this morning, you, Eizesl, and you, Sajaitin, and left town after getting the answer.¡±


    ¡°I see. Thank you, Eizesl.¡± Loigwin led his horse into town, and one of the pair looked like she knew what was going on.


    ¡°And there is the end of my moral qualms,¡± Dirant remarked as they walked. He had dismounted out of a sense of camaraderie. ¡°Which were all a waste, though I felt highly virtuous for having them.¡±


    ¡°The Eizeur''s action does add weight against him,¡± Loigwin concurred.


    ¡°I know we can think of some exculpatory explanations, but if he does turn out to be innocent, at least he has a good start,¡± Takki noted.


    ¡°And now? To press suspects still appeals.¡± Dirant said it, Takki nodded, but Loigwin demurred.


    ¡°I would be accounted by every last man an armiger undeserving if I interfered with you, but no less if I took part, for nigh is the time that I inform the Stanops of the outcome of my mission. The testimony should please him well, and if it does not, he had time to send a messenger and insist on his own terms. I hope not to have cause to reproach him with that.¡± Few in Drastlif were able to say such a thing and not follow it with, in thought if not words, ¡°because I''m scared of him,¡± but Loigwin was fearless in that sphere at least.


    ¡°The gods are kind when man is not, Eizesl.¡±


    ¡°We''ll see you again, Eizesl.¡±


    With those parting words, the two saw him off and set about finding other people to bother. First, they checked Chisops Dogai-Brein''s guest house. ¡°Likely he is in the field,¡± Dirant admitted. ¡°Even so, when is the day for optimism if not today?¡±


    ¡°You''re right about that, Ressi.¡± Takki skipped ahead and turned back to talk to him, which proved her enthusiasm to be even greater than his despite the absence of any belief she had made progress on a divine mission. ¡°We might run into one of the Seifises, or the . . . Seffifs? Do you know what that is?¡± From Takki''s quick reconnoiter before she said it and the near-whisper she used, she either knew the meaning or feared it.


    ¡°I thought perhaps I would upon reaching Intermediate proficiency, but the result is otherwise. Do you know, or?¡±


    ¡°No. I really shouldn''t say it again.¡±


    Deprived of master detective Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain, they failed to find anybody to question. ¡°I still want to hear about those chunks,¡± Takki said with about as much melancholy as missing a sale on butter deserved.


    ¡°Is there any suspicion left in you regarding Eizesl Dogai-Brein?¡±


    ¡°Not really, no.¡± They passed children in the street playing an exhilarating game of poolfoot and Battler. If the popularity of the former role compared to the latter bothered Takki, nothing of it showed. ¡°I''m pretty sure Seifis Kwin and Seifis Oimer had no idea what was going on with that monster those kids aren''t doing a very good job of imitating.¡± That did bother her, and it did show. ¡°Their employer probably doesn''t know onsio exists or why that company wants his chunks.¡±


    ¡°He knows it pays him. Can he be entirely ignorant of the practical value of his finds?¡±


    ¡°You''re so mercantile sometimes, Ressi. Eizesl Dogai-Brein isn''t at all. He may not be an academic exactly, but he''s that type. You know? The type that wants citations, the respect of their peers, and speaking engagements. They want money, granted, but not if regard doesn''t come with it. Does that sound insulting?¡±


    ¡°It does resemble the descriptions in satirical publications.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± In that one word was despair found, just as with Loigwin earlier. Before however her companion devised a method to recover Takki''s mood, she did it on her own. With vehemence she declared, ¡°It''s better than being a criminal!¡± That would show any eavesdropper hiding just out of sight beyond curtains or a window with its wooden panels flung open, eager to hear passersby taking it to those snooty academics.

 51. On Placidity

    Though Behind It Always Is Ignorance, The Benefits Are Not Inconsiderable


    Roaming Koshat Dreivis for people to amaze with new knowledge, the investigators met Onerid and Ibir among the shops. ¡°Takki! I followed your directions for the fur to the best of my understanding, but be sure to look at it later.¡± The pleasure Onerid exhibited at their return was in no way diminished by the delay taken to leave the store first. There were other customers after all.


    ¡°I''m sorry I pushed that on you like that, but we were in a rush. By the way, Mr. Helsodenk probably tried to have the Stanops assassinated.¡±


    Onerid lifted her fan in a gesture intended either to convey shock or to swat a bug. Either way, she said, ¡°Then Mr. Derisht of the embassy . . . it''s terrible of me to ask this, but would you cover your ears for a moment?¡± Takki did so without hesitation, whereupon she continued. ¡°I suppose it was then Mr. Helsodenk he believed was scheming against his life. Is that it, Mr. Dirant, or?¡±


    ¡°Likely so.¡± He adopted his most grave and authoritative expression to emphasize his reluctance to make wild accusations, even or especially when he was sure the guy had done it.


    ¡°That doesn''t exactly surprise me, and yet . . . Ah.¡± Onerid covered and uncovered her own ears in order to signal the release of Takki from her prison of silence. ¡°I wanted to ask who else is involved.¡±


    Takki nodded, also authoritatively if with not nearly so much gravity. ¡°We can talk about it in the park. That lady who found just the right hair pins doesn''t need to hear about this.¡±


    ¡°Does that lady speak Adaban?¡± Dirant wondered.


    ¡°If she really cares about hair pins she might.¡± Takki''s answer suggested to Dirant elements of his tribe''s cultural influence theretofore unknown.


    In the park and no longer so worried about discretion as they had been, the Steiraf crew explained the situation to Ibir and Onerid, as well as to Stansolt Gaomat, who joined the conversation when he heard their voices from his reading spot. It was his pleasure to assure Dirant no ritual robberies had been attempted, and it was the license-holder''s disappointment to hear of so little interest in his product.


    The recounting, however smoothly delivered, had its bumps on account of the interrupting noise of troop movements. A squad of Bodan-Tin security personnel marched northward and another westward while, unseen from the park, a few wave-savvy crews began a search of the coastline. Of course some stayed to defend the house and to complete those temple repairs. A hunk of wall had been taken out, and the only thing to do was to replace it before the gods, the faithful, and the accountants lost their patience.


    ¡°That''s it for Mr. Helsodenk,¡± Takki concluded. ¡°If he isn''t caught soon, he''ll be a hunted fugitive anywhere he tries to go. Oh, maybe not Tando OHW, if he doesn''t tell them about his attempt to ruin their monopoly.¡±


    ¡°Or Arvawesk,¡± Dirant added.


    ¡°Especially providing he tells them about how he tried to ruin a monopoly,¡± Stansolt appended.


    ¡°Do you really think so?¡±


    All four Grenlofers did in fact think so. ¡°Although it is nothing but reputation behind my opinion,¡± Dirant clarified. ¡°I have never been there, and rumor is mixed in its reliability despite the protestations on either side of poets and gossipers.¡±


    ¡°That makes sense. The last part of the mystery is if anyone else in town was involved. It looks like our partner didn''t take the chance we gave him to run away or murder the Stanops.¡±


    Startled, Dirant asked, ¡°Did you think he might do so? When he has the dazzling future of a private investigator before him?¡±


    ¡°No, but that would have been a real break in the case, wouldn''t it?¡±


    ¡°Excuse me,¡± Onerid interjected. ¡°Who is this person who is going to be a detective and is not murdering anyone?¡±


    Dirant answered. ¡°Eizesl Nein-Cadops-Bain. Ah, and this is not a matter of immediate relevance, but when does one drop all that in this country? The first name here must wither and die from lack of use.¡±


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    Restored to confidence by the shift in topic from something greatly puzzling to simple etiquette, Onerid told him, ¡°Never, I would say, when speaking of a remote party as we were doing just now. Face to face, I am unsure, but an acquaintance of several years'' duration is required so far as I have seen.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    ¡°You''re welcome, Mr. Dirant. Who are these other potential conspirators?¡±


    ¡°There is the Tand named Essar, allegedly, who may be hiding in town though I think it unlikely. Eizesl Gretlin Kair is difficult to credit with honesty, and yet threats and dangers, from his own family no less, have the power to move anyone to give an honest account. We two concur in thinking Eizesl Dogai-Brein to be uninvolved. As for Eizesl Bodan-Tin, we have not yet conferred on the matter, and so it is my view solely that his entire relationship with Helsodenk Nifkleskir consists of what he says: a brief acquaintance and a request that he approach you in Mr. Helsodenk''s place. Of course it was all a scheme on Mr. Helsodenk''s part to excite suspicion against Mr. Onkallant upon discovery of Stanops Bodan-Tin''s murdered corpse.¡±


    That was a claim which required elucidation for Onerid''s sake, though Dirant''s new Negotiating Fundamentals demanded he require the location of Keiminops Bodan-Tin in exchange.


    The negotiations foundered immediately. ¡°Is there some reason I am someone who should know?¡±


    ¡°There is not, so far as I can tell,¡± Dirant confessed.


    As frequently happens, a deal between two parties had to be extended to include a third for the sake of a more profitable result, much as when a shipwright goes to a purveyor of novel chemicals to fortify vessels against the perils and routine wear which trouble prospective buyers. ¡°He has been in his room all day, tea excepted, dealing with family business,¡± Ibir reported. ¡°That is from asking locals, guards, and so. The guards primarily.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I''ve heard about Myrmidon gossip networks, but I thought that applied within the government. As in, the lower ranks versus the higher ones,¡± Takki said.


    Ibir scoffed both loudly and visibly. ¡°It''s the same among the Pavvus, then. Never does it occur to the lacies that we are simply talking and they might join in any time they can lower themselves to it. It all must be scuttlebutt meant to undermine them, must it not? But then, the feathers are the same when they suspect the thinboots of agitation. Istal told me how to gather information from all kinds, and most times it is as simple as asking.¡±


    ¡°Oh?¡±


    Dirant leaned over toward Takki to indicate he was about to give supplemental information rather than make a fresh statement. ¡°Istal is a common abbreviation for Istarank. Thinboots are regular soldiers. The term ''feathers'' can refer to officers as a whole or specifically those of the middle ranks who often are Myrmidons because of the feathers in their caps. In most states, the generals and so have lace on their uniforms.¡±


    ¡°Oh, now I understand. Thank you, Ressi, and thank you, Mrs. Istarank. I''ll think about what you said. Have you ever considered becoming a private investigator?¡±


    She twirled a hand. ¡°Many times. It is necessary for members of that profession to stay put in cities where the jobs are however, and I love travel so.¡±


    If true, Dirant had never noticed, and not on account of an exceptional lack of awareness. The expressions around were similarly surprised. How pleasurable it was to impute a failure in understanding not to his own prideworthy Discernment but rather to a short acquaintance which might properly be corrected by means of convivial association.


    Though not right then, as that wrapped up the emergency Stadeskosken meeting on the topic of preventing their client from being killed before he paid them. Repeat business and favorable testimonials had to be considered as well. Takki departed with Onerid and Ibir since Keiminops was temporarily unapproachable, Stansolt returned to his perusal of documents unlikely to be in his lawful possession, and Dirant decided to observe the local Ritualists for signs of murderous intent. He unearthed none such, but some crimes against best procedures required correction.


    Another invitation to dinner at the home of Stanops Bodan-Tin came, perhaps the last unless a desire seized him to convert his residence into an arena where might be reenacted a summary of the entire history between the Adaban and Dvanjchtlivan tribes. Once his nephew described the most recent such reenactment, it would be nothing strange if Poiskops''s absence from Dubwasef at the time rankled.


    Before that, everyone who came to the dinner was paid the greatest attention by the host, whose enthusiasm could have filled more jugs than even he owned if distilled into a golden liquid. While the initiated understood his deep relief at the undoing of a plot against his life, all heard his shallower but nevertheless genuine appreciation for his new plates fashioned from a poolfoot''s bones and his cups carved out of its feet.


    ¡°There is an appeal I find, a primitive one but compelling at that, in going without etchings and colored glazes when occasion allows,¡± Poiskops said while rotating his dark gray foot cup to let the chandelier''s light cast patterns across it. ¡°Like a king without a crown and robes who by his bearing and stern mien silences the mob. Stone and clay plain though, that''s laziness or resourcelessness just as the common opinion holds. It''s all in how it strikes us. You can''t decide these things beforehand. Eizesl Eibmen there, when I requested he see to the work because he''s the finest there is, held up the piece given him and asked what color I wanted, if any. If any! He knew, and then I knew it, and now you all know it, too. Another cupful, but water it down. We want the Eizesl''s masterpieces to be appreciated, and when everything is praised, where is excellence?¡±

 52. Searching For Solutions To Problems Already Solved

    Scholarly Work Seems Often Nothing More Than That


    The guests all admired the dinnerware Brudenyops Eibmen had managed to produce for that exhibition, and if the aesthetics did not appeal to them, certainly what he achieved in so short a time impressed. Afterward, Keiminops departed and was assaulted in the space between his house and his uncle''s, conversationally. Dirant began the gambit. ¡°Eizesl, your opinion is necessary to determine whether your uncle is to be bothered.¡±


    Takki also had hurried to catch up to Keiminops upon leaving the house and spoke when he did not immediately object. ¡°I was only wondering if the Stanops will let me buy one of those cups or if it''s an insult to ask.¡±


    A sad sigh came from Keiminops. ¡°Buying a piece of your own trophy back. Another tragedy caused by recklessness. I''m sure your reason for dashing off and sending Eizesl Bavan-Ston to explain was beyond reproach, but even medical procedures that save lives have unwanted effects.¡±


    Takki frowned, puzzled, but Dirant believed he understood the cause of the man''s distant attitude. He said, ¡°Our association with Eizesl Nein-Cadops-Bain, a very profitable one I may admit, in no way related to life''s bittersweet side.¡±


    He was right. Forthwith Keiminops stood straighter like a man who no longer feared for his position after an interview with the manager, or else like his uncle after the mastermind plotting his assassination skedaddled. ¡°Of course, of course. Your chances are bad. Consider this scenario: I broach the topic to Uncle on your behalf very slyly, ever so cagily. He figures it out and makes you a gift of one, Seifis. That''s far likelier. So why did you flee from town, if it''s permissible to ask?¡±


    ¡°It is so permitted,¡± Dirant told him. Then he waited a few measures and said, ¡°Did you conspire with Helsodenk Nifkleskir to murder Stanops Bodan-Tin?¡±


    ¡°No. Where is Eizeur Helsodenk? Do you know?¡± A sudden wind shows the worth of a sail, they said in Drastlif, but only if the sail takes it seriously.


    Nevertheless, the reaction satisfied a Dirant willing to be satisfied. ¡°He seems to me innocent,¡± he told his associate.


    ¡°I don''t think he''s lying right now, anyway.¡±


    The consultation finished, Dirant at last answered the former suspect. ¡°He ran away because he knew we would discover in Steiraf incriminating though not wholly conclusive information that he is responsible for multiple serious crimes.¡±


    That sudden wind had more of an effect. A few blinks later, Keiminops had still not recovered entirely. He managed to say, ¡°That''s all true? I see it is, and here I know nothing. Well, I will pray harder and more expensively for Uncle to live long enough for me to become a reasonable candidate for the helm, because right now I don''t have the awareness required.¡±


    The two assured him that his ignorance derived not from his own incapacity but from the cunning of an elite cadre of secret-keepers. Moreover, the uneven distribution of stats and general abilities created at random natural detectives such as Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain and natural whatever-it-was-he-dids such as Keiminops Bodan-Tin. That shook him still more. When they parted, Dirant and Takki left a man confused as only the innocent can be.


    The less prominent inhabitants of Koshat Dreivis enjoyed an unconventional evening entertainment of having foreigners ask if anyone knew where Chisops Dogai-Brein happened to be and if they knew of anyone who had ever cooperated in commercial ventures with Helsodenk Nifkleskir. They always gave the same answers, which were ¡°No¡± and ¡°The Stanops,¡± and worse than that, Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain evinced no interest in doing the legwork for them.


    ¡°That''s fine though,¡± Takki claimed contrary to the available evidence after the manner of a genius detective following a hunch. ¡°We can just wait at the edge of the marsh like dogs looking for their master.¡±


    ¡°Is that a flattering comparison, would you say?¡±


    ¡°You have to let go of your pride to solve the most worthwhile mysteries, Ressi. Don''t you want to know more about those samples?¡±


    ¡°My pride relies on my accomplishments as a Ritualist only, and for that reason I must look in on the pavilion again before we depart.¡±


    ¡°Ressi, you''ve done that five times today. That''s very admirable of you.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    When Dirant and Takki gathered at a gate, courtesy imposed a delay that they might permit the passing of tired Drastlifars in the other direction. The workers were undoubtedly still at it over in Steiraf, though. ¡°The customs from one town to the next are corn and wheat, and how can we understand other countries?¡± Dirant declaimed while testing out a staff which he intended for the first time to employ one as an aid to outdoors survival instead of rituals. He theorized the goddess to whom it was sacred would approve so long as it helped him make his way back to the hearth. ¡°Did that sound more Drastlifan than my usual speech?¡±


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    ¡°Partly, but ''corn and wheat?'' Shouldn''t we be thinking of fish and tea? Oh, and you''d probably specify. Trout or salmon for instance. But I''m not sure why you''d want to sound more Drastlifan.¡± Though her halberd sufficed before, Takki had equipped herself with a cane for more elegant pathfinding. She also had removed the ferrule and sharpened the cane''s end in accordance with the incorrigible nature of Battlers.


    ¡°The object is to prepare for the incorporation of Drastlif into Greater Enloffenkir as predicted by Eizesl Bodan-Tin, at which time we must begin to call him Eizesl Keiminops instead. Regardless, I''m ready.¡±


    ¡°Let''s go!¡±


    The jaunt across the cultivated countryside to the edge of the vast moistness led them into no assassination attempts, a fact which disproved theories about the cyclical nature of time. The memory of the incident did suggest a concern. For all that a Battler of any level starting from the first might be expected to thrash an Acrobat of however high a level, there was an immoral Brawny Knight out there. Furthermore, an Acrobat bent on an ungentlemanly form of violence might well tumble over to a Ritualist, stab him, and be on his way without bothering with any Battler entanglements, perhaps. Dirant had never plotted to murder anyone, some comments made to his brothers during their childhoods notwithstanding, but it seemed plausible.


    He cleared his throat. ¡°Here is a martial question.¡±


    ¡°I can''t teach you anything about assaults on cities you don''t already know, Ressi.¡±


    ¡°This is a skirmish rather than a campaign. A person, we will call him Helsodenk Nifkleskir, decides to eliminate someone who for this exercise is named Dirant Rikelta. What do you think is the likelihood that an Acrobat accomplishes that against the opposition of a Battler?¡± asked Dirant, and Takki''s immediate laughter reassured him more than any argument could. She did make an argument while she was at it, and by the end of it he wondered that the Acrobat class attracted any recruits at all.


    The marshes proved the impassive dullness of nature by reflecting not a single ray of the excitement which even then pierced Koshat Dreivis and illuminated every heart. It was quiet altogether. The two patrolled along the town-facing side of the tree screen for a time, and with every circuit Takki drifted closer and closer to the morass. Eventually an unwillingness to wait longer for what she might take overcame her, perhaps the inevitable result of mixing with Adabans. ¡°I''m going to search a little deeper in,¡± she said in a normal tone. It bounced a little when she added, ¡°If you climb a tree, you''ll be harder to find and murder.¡±


    Dirant looked up. ¡°That is simply good advice rather than some sort of joke.¡±


    ¡°Oh, the funny part is that you really should do it. Ressi, what do you call a tree with an Adaban in it?¡±


    ¡°Please continue.¡±


    ¡°Kindling!¡± With that remark not conducive to relieving Dirant''s anxiety, she took two steps toward the marshes and stopped again. ¡°Do you hear that? Something different from last time?¡±


    Dirant detached himself from the bark and turned to join her, making sure to tap ahead in the event his greater weight and lower Coordination converted safe ground into the risky kind. There he stood listening until he said, ¡°While admitting my memory for monster cries is perhaps the worst of anyone on the continent, so far I hear ah!¡±


    A sudden rumble surprised him by not setting the scattered pools trembling. ¡°Either that is an unknown monster or Eizesl Dogai-Brein is shouting. I must resume my climb.¡±


    ¡°I''ll be back as fast as I can, Ressi.¡± Caution restrained Takki from bounding across the marshes, but she unquestionably hustled. Dirant attained an elevated position which allowed him to watch her progress all the way to some sort of pillar he presumed had been erected as a trophy to celebrate a triumph by a victorious army disbanded centuries ago. That was as much detail as he could make out, for the dimming light of day was failing his poor Ritualist eyes, no doubt ravaged by all the peering inside boxes he forced them to do.


    Whatever the pillar was in truth, Takki conceived a dislike for it. She opposed the thing entirely. The shining metal of her halberd struck repeatedly at the top portion until it broke apart, upon which occurrence the whole thing descended. He then saw three vague figures aside from the one he knew and from that realized Chisops and his bodyguards had somehow been snagged by a dais-cage, the silliest of the known monsters.


    If it was indeed a monster. Opinions differed on the point. Certainly it triggered anti-monster abilities. Supporting the other side of the argument, it possessed no consuming maw, disintegrating blood, flame-resistant fur, obvious weak points, or any other signature monster trait. Instead it had the appearance, at first, of a platform made from polished wood or stone raised a few steps off the ground. When someone stepped on it, perhaps to practice a speech for the next public assembly, it elevated itself and formed at its top a cage to entrap the unwary orator for approximately four hours. Then it retracted and let the victim leave. If attacked, the bars crumbled far easier than did the actual material they resembled. The wood-looking version had found favor in the cosmetics industry on account of the subtle scents given off by the fragments.


    The leading researchers and theorists had not yet resolved the dais-cage''s enigmas. How did it move? No one had ever seen one do it. Was it a trap? If so, no monster ever dropped by to collect its catch. Some suggested the variety which did so had become extinct, a theory which impinged on old arguments about the extent to which monstrous species ought to be treated like tribes. There existed traditions of antiquity which identified the dais-cage as a creation of hermits who locked themselves inside for ascetic purposes. Hermits did so even in the present day, but only when they came across one; none claimed or exhibited the wherewithal to fabricate them.

 53. A Digression Concerning The Least-Threatening Monsters

    The Host Who Studies This Chapter Will Profit From These Amusing Stories With Which To Divert Guests


    The most recent inexplicable phenomenon only added to the legend of the dais-cage, that being how Sleet and Hail Mistresses trained and working as professional bodyguards fell for a trap so difficult to trigger. The puzzle occupied Dirant''s thoughts while he watched the four extract themselves from the imperiling marsh. Chisops Dogai-Brein probably was thinking of citations and lost all concentration, which answered that question before it was asked, but it was for exactly that species of circumstance that he had attendants.


    Millim Takki Atsa called out the answer before Dirant could ask it. ¡°Hey, Ressi! You can come down now. Have you ever heard of a dais-cage hiding below ground level? Oh, and have you ever heard of a dais-cage?¡±


    ¡°I have, and in the language to which you switched in order to say the name of that monster as well. As to its typical disposition, I know little enough about it.¡±


    ¡°It''s true no matter how rare it is,¡± Hail Mistress Isarbas Kwin insisted. She made sure to put a little outrage in her voice, just a bit of umbrage at the unfair practices of that one dais-cage before anyone suggested she had made a mistake or else invented the story altogether as an excuse. No one did, which again demonstrated the advantages of the Dogai-Brein training regimen and its attention to social as well as martial considerations.


    ¡°There''s a second strangeness too,¡± added Sleet Mistress Laimerif Oimer. ¡°I stepped on it alone without ill consequence. Not before all three of us stood upon it did it shoot up. What could explain that?¡±


    ¡°Onsio?¡± Dirant asked. ¡°Or sio? This is speculation, it must be understood.¡± He was by then back on the ground where Chisops was able to reach his hand and shake it.


    ¡°It is good to see you, Sajaitin.¡± His misadventure had not driven him entirely hoarse. ¡°Sio may in truth excite such a reaction provided it wore off at exactly the right moment. But what then is this onsio substance? Is there at last a readier supply of monster depressants?¡±


    Takki employed the most conciliatory tone she possessed, which was not much different from her usual speech. ¡°This next sentence will sound rude, Eizesl, Seifises, but in a moment you''ll see it isn''t. That sounds like an honest question to me, Ressi.¡±


    The bodyguards did frown. One of them bit her lip as well, the taller one. Still, they refrained from violence. There was that Dogai-Brein training yet again. Dirant tried to redeem Takki''s promise. ¡°I must accept your judgment, and further, I concur. Eizesl, onsio is a sio substitute under development by Holtatlosen Skemlena. Your research, I understand, is fundamental to its refinement.¡±


    ¡°That is excellent news, Sajaitin. The fear that one is being humored can lower the spirits so, but equally heartening, or rather more so, is hearing that the implications of my research are considered to say nothing of seeing any manner of implementation.¡± Chisops probably meant it, but his tired voice expressed not jubilation but rather raspiness which doubtless sounded more painful for him than it was.


    ¡°Indeed so,¡± Dirant confirmed. ¡°We learned of onsio but yesterday and only now became sure you had not. It is an honor for us to reveal its existence to you. Will you tell us a bit more about the samples you send and their value?¡±


    ¡°The core of the idea is that there is a natural phenomenon I have chosen to call ''monster stations'' out of nothing more than their resemblance to buildings which have nothing to recommend them but their function, the Naval Station and the Station of Shields in Dubwasef included. Monsters appear to be attracted to these. They almost hibernate upon reaching one of them, and the important point that keeps me from declaring that they do hibernate is . . . What an odd scene. It is as if the sun chose to set in Koshat Dreivis tonight.¡±


    The sky above the town did have an orange look to it, and as for the smell, it resembled a bonfire made by a fasting hermit. Even before anyone said, ¡°The town appears to be suffering the effects of an uncontrolled conflagration,¡± or a similar comment, all five were running toward Koshat.


    Takki opened a good lead. Before it grew too great, she yelled back, ¡°If this is intentional arson, weren''t you two probably trapped so you couldn''t do anything about it? I bet every dais-cage in the swamp is rigged with onsio!¡±


    ¡°Why . . . would . . . it . . .¡±


    Dirant tried to save Chisops his gasps with a few of his own. ¡°We think Mr. Helsodenk . . . wants to murder . . . the Stanops.¡±


    This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.


    ¡°Very rash.¡± After that, the head of the Dogai-Breins, not an old man but not quite young either, reserved his breath for the activity before him.


    Indistinct screams and wails rose as high as the flames, but something even louder they heard as they approached. Keiminops Bodan-Tin was yelling hard enough to pop something. Whether his commands to evacuate southward and set up a bucket line from the beach to the town had any good effect Dirant and Chisops could not perceive until they reached the town, and when they did, Laimerif Oimer and Isarbas Kwin had done more about the problem anyway.


    Families menaced by fire and smoke found relief in the cool clouds the bodyguards sent drifting through the streets. The buildings burned slower, though a mere two members of the colder classes could not suppress the inferno altogether. Strings and clumps of Drastlifars ran south under the cover of those sheltering mists, and from that a group became conspicuous for not running anywhere or panicking in the smallest degree.


    They were Drastlifars too, some of them, but also Tands and Hewekers, and among the knot of a couple dozen people stood one Rik who looked on the scene with as much passion as he did a collection of legal precedents compiled by an assistant. ¡°It''s Helsodenk Nifkleskir!¡± Takki shouted when she saw him down a flame-bordered lane obstructed by debris from collapsing houses. ¡°He looks incredibly smug, Ressi!¡±


    ¡°He always does,¡± Dirant shouted back.


    Helsodenk responded with as much passion as when he told an assistant to research legal precedents. ¡°I assure you that I would have appeared so much more satisfied had my first plan succeeded, but failure is not so interesting that we must be entranced by it. Did you find Steiraf pleasant?¡±


    Aside from the intervening hazards, a consideration of the odds prevented Takki from rushing him. Helsodenk''s henchmen may have included among their society any combination of elite combat classes. The gigantic Brawny Knight was there, for one. Moreover, a few Tands tossing incendiary flasks around likely belonged to the Chemistician class unavailable in Egillen barring the occasional traveler. Whatever precisely that class did, presumably it did it well. Stymied as far as punishing the malefactor, Takki''s Battler-nature, self-described, spurred her to seek clarification on an unclear point or two. ¡°Mr. Helsodenk! Aren''t you doing pretty well for yourself? This doesn''t seem very profitable, so do Riks care about that less than Adabans?¡±


    Since Helsodenk had nothing to occupy him but watch the devastation inflicted by his band of scoundrels and because he anticipated the death of everyone else within listening range, he indulged in some chatter. ¡°I attribute my success to not permitting those who try to ruin me to have their way.¡±


    ¡°Ressi! He really is just unbelievably spiteful! Oh, Mr. Helsodenk, that was a theory we had.¡±


    Helsodenk ignored that in favor of listening to a comment from an associate, but he was free when Dirant caught up to confirm or deny another theory. ¡°Mr. Helsodenk! Was it your intention to frame Onkallant Paspaklest for the assassination? Formerly that was my belief, and yet your present action must be difficult to attribute to him.¡±


    ¡°Mr. Dirant, it is just as you say. His escape from the fate of an apparent suicide while facing trial is irksome, but I must simply murder him by another means, as well as his sister, brother, father, every ambassador, and so. It is a long list, and I have wasted too much time here already.¡±


    The confirmation of his clever supposition gave Dirant cheer he thought it preferable not to display under the circumstances. Even more heartening would have been to know a ritual capable of reversing the situation, but optimism becomes disgraceful greed at a certain point. ¡°As you say. Takki, we must withdraw and leave Mr. Helsodenk to discover this backup plot also is unproductive of the desired result.¡± To taunt an older, more established gentleman was a practice best left at university, but Helsodenk Nifkleskir was evil. There was the matter of accuracy to consider, since the possibility existed that Poiskops Bodan-Tin was already dead; a few days before that would have counted as success. Open violence must however be a failure unless the flames devoured all witnesses. Helsodenk agreed, judging by his shouts entirely free of satisfaction when at least he saw some of the fire-suppressing frosty emanations.


    By then, nearly all of Koshat Dreivis had escaped south of the walls with a few final stragglers being carried out by the Myrmidons left on guard duty and the occasional local possessed of impressive Muscle or Battler from lands far to the north which resounded with orchestral arrangements of the most tasteful and technically demanding compositions.


    Panic fell off sharply when the inhabitants saw near and safe their friends, their families, and even that guy they disliked even though they almost never spoke with each other but there was just something about his expression. With a calmer, more pliant population, Keiminops had an easier time seeing that bucket lines were formed by the set of people strong enough to handle water but not to haul a human body.


    Dirant volunteered his own 35 Muscle for that after assuring himself that Stadeskosken''s client had survived the initial attack. A coughing Poiskops was being attended by Petarun Bavan-Ston, Posmeterin Igwodan-Tin had been hustled out of town by a human litter made of younger Igwodan-Tins and other apprentices, Isarx Tomein adopted the reverse course by assisting the younger Tomeins out along with their neighbors, and in short, so far as Dirant was able to see, the Dogai-Brein bodyguards had prevented any deaths up to that point in a triumph of public relations any firm would envy.


    Even so, there was a great deal of villainy left in the arsonists, and every moment shortened the window the residents had to restore Koshat Dreivis to a state fit to receive exalted persons of the Dvanjchtlivan persuasion. Water haulers therefore raced to the beach with urgency and spirit. ¡°The Stanops will revive our Dreivis,¡± they told one another, and they meant it. The foreign Ritualist among them relied on a different cause for hope, that being the distance between the popcorn stand and any wooden house. Swift action could save him from another day of box-drawing.

 54. The Activities Of Monsters

    The Two Categories Of These Are Those Requiring Immediate Suppression And Those Allowing A Delay In Suppression


    But when they reached the beach, all wondered what would save the townsfolk or the town itself, for monsters had conquered the shore. There scuttled the bone crabs, white crab-like things that appeared to be, and possibly were, wearing visored helmets. The four-legged horrors called caressers stood with their feelers pointing inland, those three terrible claws on each arm which searched endlessly for prey while the eyes located on the opposite side of their bodies looked and never found, according to countless scary stories. Phantom spouts whirled, the core within the column of water no more visible than ever for all that researchers begged for it to show itself at least once. Some needle nets had been flung on the beach, a fellow entrant of dais-cages in the category of possible non-monster monsters. Unlike the harmless and useless platforms, the purpose of the needle nets had no mystery about it: needles attached to the nets stabbed fishermen and attracted monsters by the blood.


    Naturally every beach needed its sand scoopers, or the piksadarops as the Drastlifars muttered, to dig holes to hide their small bodies of four feet or so using scooping claws themselves a couple feet long. Sea giants too had made the trip from the palaces on the seabed which all fairy tales supposed them to possess, and for the occasion they covered their bedraggled blue hair and orange skin with sharkskin armor and helms. For weapons, a rare thing among monsters, they grasped in the right hand a spear tipped with magic coral and in the left a symmetreel trained to emit thunder or lightning when squeezed the right way.


    To stumble upon so great and varied a monstrous host as that held the power to unnerve anyone. To observe them in an attitude of waiting, looking toward the sea and ignoring the humans landward, might be the last push someone wanted to throw up civilization and become a hermit retired among dais-cages and meatless fires. The unfortunate who acted thus missed another startling spectacle of monsters marching from the northeast including the fearsome marsh king, an unnatural beast of leonine features and mane formed of squirming green tendrils. As excited as Chisops Dogai-Brein must have been to see it, the bucketeers prepared themselves to surrender to despair.


    Dirant, hoping to forestall that, said, ¡°Perhaps it is best for us to shift the line to the west a tad.¡±


    ¡°What good is that?¡± Some grumbled in that fashion, but word spread that the Adaban gentleman there happened to be, well, an architect if you catch the meaning, and therefore a reliable man in regard to matters best left alone when possible. He may have already performed some esoteric ritual that transfixed the monsters and kept them looking seaward like lenders expecting a debtor who was scheduled to arrive any day now. Even if he had not, what else was there to do?


    They sought and found an unmonstered stretch of shore. The mere existence of such a thing encouraged them, and eagerly they went to work in the light of lanterns some of them had thought to bring, filling buckets and passing them along. As tedious as the task was, the spectacle of monsters milling about like dinner guests unsure if the hour was sufficiently advanced for them to leave without affronting the host (it was, by the way) prevented actual boredom. Dirant and the Drastlifars near him entertained and educated themselves together by naming the monsters in all the languages they knew. They shared stories and, at times, stat gains.


    <blockquote>


    +1 bonus to Muscle gained.


    </blockquote>


    Several of the participants received that message, Dirant included. They started shouting out every new occurrence, and the feeling of camaraderie created by the practice had significant power, enough that the line stayed cohesive when its members were subjected to a sight so novel and unexpected that the broadsheets would be desperate to interview every witness who managed to retain consciousness. Some would lie about that, naturally.


    A ship sailed in, not one of the little oar-driven boats Poiskops maintained or a fisherman''s biggest investment, but an ocean-going vessel such as had made Drastlif the capital of Egillen''s navigation until recent years. What was more, the people on the deck appeared to be opposed to their ship''s current course. They shouted, pulled ropes, yanked the wheel, and achieved nothing in the way of altering their direction or speed. The language of those shouts was Dvanj.


    The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    At last, less than a ship''s length from shore, the crew abandoned her. Desperate sailors lowered a couple boats quickly filled. The more swimming-capable among them dove straight in. Those were the correct actions, and yet the eerie behavior of monsters convinced the people who had undertaken them to reconsider as soon as they saw the assemblage on shore. Regret overcame them, and also terror, so that indecision paralyzed rowers and swimmers and threatened them with drowning. By instant assent, a number of the Drastlifars ran to assist while the rest reconfigured the line with more space between members, which made the work more strenuous. Only by staying conscious of the plight of those sailors could the bucketeers tolerate it.


    And by watching the distracting spectacle of the crewless ship as she sailed toward the beach, on the beach, and over the beach. Everyone concocted his own theory in the seconds before the reason behind her behavior became obvious. The hull, as it left the water, rose up on the shoulders of mighty monsters, sea giants especially. More amazing even than that, their inhuman compatriots already on the beach moved to help. With a roar capable of inspiring new legends of gods, heroes, and monsters, the assembled bearers flipped the ship upside-down and dropped it on the beach. Whatever experts had to say about whether monsters knew contentment, those certainly looked ready to grab some stools and spend the rest of the day admiring the result of their exertions. Some crawled underneath to rest inside while others stroked the hull or simply stared at their new barracks.


    On the human quarter of the beach, waterlogged Dvanjchtlivs supported by locals stumbled toward the bucketeers. The greatest harm done was to their mustaches owing to the quick reaction of Drastlifars. Knowing that, the sailors tried to thank them in whatever Drastlimez they knew or else in Dvanj they stuffed with earnestness in the hope of compensating for the gap in comprehension. One among them, a red-haired gentleman of middle height, middle age, and a moderately curled mustache along with a ponytail of respectable length, called out, ¡°Who here speaks Dvanj? Does anyone know what''s going on? So much the better if both are the same person, but we''ll work with what we have.¡±


    Hesitant as he was to put himself forward as some kind of authority on anything other than rituals, Dirant knew no one else around who met the description as well as he did. ¡°Sir, I know a little Dvanj and a little of the circumstances.¡±


    ¡°You sound Adaban, which isn''t so bad for getting somewhere.¡± The man followed his voice and found him. ¡°And so you are. Well, young man?¡±


    Dirant continued passing buckets along both ways as he spoke. He hoped that would impress people when he recounted the story later. ¡°Sir, it appears that a certain person who is responsible for the development of onsio, an alternative to the drug sio, has been spreading it about as a prelude to his plan to murder a large number of people. The strange behavior of these monsters is likely related to onsio. Our own behavior is understandable when one knows that man has set Koshat Dreivis aflame.¡±


    ¡°Sio! Sio, you say!¡± The Dvanjchtliv''s face and attitude reddened to match his hair and kept going afterward. ¡°We have enough of that as it is, had we none at all. Where is this villain?¡±


    ¡°Previously he was in the north part of the town surrounded by his incendiary henchmen. Almost certainly he has run off by now, for the advent of a Hail Mistress and Sleet Mistress have quite . . . Or perhaps not.¡±


    Over the Dvanjchtliv''s shoulder, Dirant saw a massive Tand running straight through any person and, eventually, monster in his way. Behind him raced Helsodenk Nifkleskir, who vaulted over and tumbled under the bodies Essar shoved. No other conspirator appeared.


    The hardships they had, deserved ones, diminished as they approached the ship itself. The monsters closest to it, or rather her, or maybe it given its current situation, ignored them altogether. There was admiring still to be done. The criminals emulated monsters as they too often did, in this case by crawling under the hull to conceal themselves from the sight of the just.


    The Dvanjchtliv saw the whole thing after being alerted to it by Dirant, who elaborated, ¡°Sir, I believe that shorter man is the person in question, though what decided him to run southward is unknown to me. Ah, it is fear of those people there no doubt.¡±


    From the north came, illuminated by countless lanterns, lights, and perhaps goodness itself, not just Poiskops and Keiminops with all their Bodan-Tin guards, relatives, employees, and sycophants along with Chisops Dogai-Brein, Takki, Onerid, Ibir, and even Stansolt Gaomat, but also a contingent of Dvanjchtlivs in their natural habitat astride horses. That tribe could hardly help but look heroic in that position, and all the more when the modern hero Prince Ozovramblidaj of Noiswawau led.

 55. The Propensity Of The Dvanjchtliv To Prompt Military Action

    Or, The Sole Admirable Trait Of That Tribe


    The resulting conference established several weighty facts and suggested several theories. The redhead had a subordinate introduce him as Lord Treasurer Boij Avroshipt Ogleript, the luminary who occupied the highest domestic office in his country and held the absolute confidence of his childhood playmate, the king.


    ¡°He''s also a cousin of the noble humiliated through his sio addiction,¡± Stansolt whispered to Dirant while Onerid and Ibir struggled to stifle laughter inappropriate for the occasion however appropriate it may have been for the names Dvanjchtlivs chose for their children.


    The schedule called for the Swadvanchdeu delegation to arrive the next day, and it would have done so if not for the impatience of undersea monsters who grasped their ship and hurried it along, a phenomenon difficult to explain. The Noiswawauans had the same schedule but accelerated it for an entirely unlike reason.


    ¡°I was warned of risk and deadly treachery,¡± Prince Ozovramblidaj explained. ¡°I wished to miss none of it.¡±


    His force, which is to say the portion of his retinue consisting of capable fighters, scattered Helsodenk''s arsonists by their sudden and irresistible advent. A few of the villains succumbed to capture. Their testimony would be invaluable provided anything like a trial occurred. The rest fled into the folds of night''s cloak, and without their opposition, the Dogai-Brein Sleet and Hail Mistresses subdued the fires faster than hoped.


    As for the generous man who provided the services of those two without saying anything about fees as perhaps he should have, Chisops was invited to expound his relevant theories, particularly the one about monster stations which, after accreting from various substances, attracted and sedated monsters until they dissolved through a process yet unknown, an event which caused an apparent sudden increase in the monster population in the spring. ¡°These stations are not generally known because of a very simple fact of their existing where we cannot see them. Under marshes, inside hills, the ocean floor I suspect, and other locations proposed by stories long thought fanciful are where they can be found, and the proof of that is the samples I have collected by means of certain long hooks I developed for the purpose. I will leave it to other researchers to discover how monsters enter the secluded stations reachable only by the use of hooks at present. The question is unquestionably worthy of study. but outside my own direct interest.¡±


    Takki asked him a question after winning a coinflip against Dirant. ¡°Eizesl, do these monster palaces have regenerative powers? Since they form naturally, doesn''t it make sense they can reform over time?¡±


    ¡°The calculations I have made after collecting samples from the same set of monster stations repeatedly indicate that they do, Seifis.¡±


    ¡°Is there any chance then that some of those substances taken from monster palaces would be able to, for instance, repair minor flaws in wood, reduce leaks, and keep away lichen?¡±


    Lord Treasurer Boij was shaking with such energy that it seemed the next time he opened his mouth a mixed drink must shoot out. Instead, outrage did. ¡°Are you saying I paid for, and sailed upon, a ship covered in monster juice?¡±


    Chisops Dogai-Brein considered the idea. ¡°There may be validity in such an application. What an intriguing thought. Once again, I have focused my attention solely on gathering evidence of the existence of monster stations and consequently have limited my experiments upon the substances which constitute them despite the tantalizing prospects. Ah, the lifetime of mortals, ah, how brief it is.¡±


    Takki looked satisfied with the conclusion of the inquiry and indeed was. ¡°Right, of course not, Eizesl. We can''t expect you to figure out everything by yourself. Mr. Helsodenk bragged about selling new treatments to the Akard-Velgsins though.¡±


    ¡°That''s clear enough then,¡± Boij stated. ¡°We burn down the ship, burn Helsowho if that doesn''t do it, hang Narark Akard-Velgsin at the next opportunity, and maybe torture you a little to teach you to be more careful about the people you tell things.¡± He stared at the Dogai-Brein head, who sidled closer to the head of the Bodan-Tins.


    ¡°Gentlemanly nobles, we have laws here in Drastlif! They protect everyone, and not a day before my death will anyone of the Dogai-Breins or Akard-Velgsins be treated in a manner so peremptory and unconcerned with justice.¡± That declaration by no less a personage than Poiskops Bodan-Tin embraced them all as if a cloud that all but glowed with principle, the ¡°all but¡± because of certain names conspicuously not included. Not that anyone blamed him for it of course, or even disagreed, though Keiminops suggested they probably ought to confirm Helsodenk''s company in Arvawesk possessed complete records about its processes and products before they executed him. More than one promising invention had been lost together with its creator''s noggin.


    ¡°That''s fine,¡± Ozovramblidaj said. ¡°We share one goal: the burning of the ship.¡±


    ¡°Your Highness is ever eager to burn a Swadvanchdeuan ship.¡±


    This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    ¡°Who said that?¡± Nobody could say for sure, except for Stansolt Gaomat, who chose not to do so. The need for translators caused a proliferation of voices, and to attach all of them to their proper persons taxed the most perceptive and well-memoried of men. Dissatisfied but unwilling to be held up by something so minor, the prince continued. ¡°We have a routine massacre before us with these monsters sedated as they are, correct?¡±


    Anyone would feel reluctant to contradict a prince save for the fact of his being a Dvanjchtliv, which conferred a powerful wish to show him up felt by everyone there barring the Jalpi Peffu. The Swadvanchdeuan Dvanjchtlivs experienced the desire with especial keenness. Their leader however wanted even more to launch the attack forthwith, and because he kept silent, the sole objection came from a Drastlifar.


    ¡°I am afraid that prospect is far from supported by the reality, as much as I hoped it to be true at an earlier stage in my research,¡± monster palace expert Chisops attested. ¡°The monsters become calmer in the vicinity of a monster station, it is true, and yet what so many philosophers say is seen in this case, that calmness leads to reason through reflection. The monsters about a station are more organized than usual. Observe how the ones farther out, patrolling, will exchange their places with the monsters who have rested awhile. Yes, they will resist your approach, and once they perceive you intend harm to the station, they will grow enraged.¡± His voice grew wistful as he reflected. ¡°That was when I decided to bring two guards.¡±


    His warning dispirited Drastlifars who yearned to finish this thing up and retire to homes they hoped still existed. The Dvanjchtlivs, by contrast, immediately fell to arguing about whether the crown prince or lord treasurer should get to be the marshal. When Stanops Bodan-Tin objected to the proceedings, they assured him he was assuredly the highest civilian authority, and if the way they said ¡°civilian¡± had an insulting tinge to it, that was both intended and irrelevant.


    An agreement was reached, itself a discouraging sign for patriotic Grenlofers, whereby Prince Ozovramblidaj took command in exchange for the concession that he not forbid Boij from cutting down Helsodenk Nifkleskir on sight. ¡°The meat will be made over to the hawk that hunts it,¡± Ozovramblidaj declared, which seemed clear enough even to non-Dvanjchtlivs.


    ¡°There is an eminently practical contrivance. We have none of these at home, and now I marvel at our incompetence.¡± That was the conclusion of Todelk University-graduated Ritualist Dirant Rikelta upon examining the portable stage, a short wooden platform large enough to accommodate most practical rituals. For the first time in his career he had assistants, two of them no less. One handled buckets of sand and the other buckets of water for rapid ritual cycling.


    The few Ritualists there approved by Posmeterin Igwodan-Tin for live battlefield support, those being Posmeterin, one of his sons, one of his daughters, and Dirant, went to work creating the First Schedule, Second Schedule, and Third Schedule Monster Immunization Rituals and processing combatants. Even if the preventative rituals had not yet attained the reliability or comprehensiveness of the six Disinfectant Rituals, they were worth using if only to cut down on the costs, an inevitable concern for any organized monster extermination campaign. This time, Poiskops Bodan-Tin announced his intention to bear the entire financial burden with an easy smile characteristic of someone who knew where he could put his hands on a bundle or two at any hour of any week.


    Battle preparations took little time with Prince Ozovramblidaj as the organizer. His considered arrangements put Petarun Bavan-Ston over the medical teams which attendants from both delegations joined. Keiminops Bodan-Tin assembled hauler crews to grab injured fighters and escort them to the doctors and Ritualists. Poiskops Bodan-Tin himself attended to supplies, tents, and barricades. In regard to the army itself, Ozovramblidaj weighed the value of communication against class abilities and decided to set all his Myrmidons in the center regardless of tribe, counting on their natural teamwork. The elite combat classes, such as the Duelist class to which he belonged, he set on the flanks in a more country-based formation, and the questionable ones such as Acrobat and Subjugator (non-medical) he designated as reserves.


    When the battle at last began, Dirant saw none of it. His vision was not hindered by a lack of light but rather the opposite as the Dvanjchtlivan Reciters and Distorters invoked their explosive abilities. Columns of flame and lightning countered phantom spouts, glistening orbs splattered on sea giants to leave them pale and still, and caressers lost their searching claws to cutting winds.


    That was the fancy stuff which the sophisticated battle-enjoyers so often derided as mere displays for the vulgar. A genuine fight-lover praised the work to which the physical types put their sabers and halberds, and someone more Loigwiny could have and in fact did appreciate the archery techniques of Adaban Myrmidons.


    The courage of humans, their selfless camaraderie, and above all the abilities granted to them by the gods through their classes had made man dominant over monsters everywhere on Egillen, but not without dedication to specialized roles. The Ritualists became too busy shifting sand around to look up aside from when their assistants were washing, scrubbing, and resanding the platforms, and if they did, chilling mists concealed everything but the explosions. Dirant preferred to spend the moments of rest he was able to grab by means of efficient Todelk techniques to add some flourishes to his ceremonies. The poisoned fighters appreciated the personal taps on the head, and not understanding the language he used to extend his chanting to unnecessary lengths only increased the eerie solemnity of the proceeding and gave the sense something worthwhile was being done.


    <blockquote>


    Ability Ritual Flair gained.


    </blockquote>


    As proof that to help others is to help oneself, Dirant''s rituals thenceforth raised the respect spectators held for him based on his Panache and Receptivity.


    Better indications than sight of how fared the battle came when the reserves started appearing. Keiminops Bodan-Tin dumped off Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain personally, an honor one armiger paid another. The former scowled during the incident while grumbling about how dashing the latter must have looked. Another was the frequency of repeat appearances, which indicated both a long battle and a lack of deaths or debilitating injuries. A little HP loss here and there built character, or so fathers told children who sought consolation after they tripped.

 56. Serendipitous Discovery Of Solutions And Problems Together

    Scholarly Work At Its Most Productive Takes This Form


    Then it ended. The ship burned, despite the extra resilience the amazing Akard-Velgsin process conferred, and both Essar and Helsodenk Nifkleskir lost the liberty which they put to such unworthy use. Not until later did Dirant hear how soldiers of Noiswawau and Swadvanchdeu fell upon him only to trip over one another, or how ¡°one another¡± in fact referred to Stansolt Gaomat, who opted not to embarrass his Dvanjchtlivan compatriots by correcting their misapprehension on the subject when they started shouting about it. Regardless, the collision allowed the Bodan-Tin troops to seize Helsodenk. The statement Helsodenk made at his capture, according to Stansolt, contained far too much of the ancient malice of the old tribes for it to be intelligible to a modern and mild Sivoslofer. As for Essar, he had to be frozen into the shape of a monument to Brawny Knight physique for the guards to extract, whereupon they wheeled him out and placed him in a cage before he thawed.


    The triumphant final cry of the victors shook every pebble and grain on the beach out of its accustomed place. ¡°When you collapse, we''ll drag you to the party bonfires,¡± Keiminops promised them, and many of the nearly one hundred combatants took immediate advantage of the deal.


    ¡°Sometimes even nephews have something to say,¡± declared Poiskops while he clasped hands with the Dvanjchtlivan leaders and avoided responding to any suggestion of a prisoner transfer. ¡°The strictest authorities on festivals stipulate there are times for a celebration spontaneous and unrestrained glee. Who is the man who despises revelry? Bring him to Drastlif for his cure.¡±


    Giving commands and ignoring the protests of the prince and lord treasurer, Poiskops hustled over to the Ritualist area, grabbed Dirant, and made his point before anyone could catch up to hear. ¡°A schedule gone awry and the able become indispensable, like the sudden wind that tests the rigging. I want popcorn for this. Can you do it?¡±


    ¡°Provided either the box is undamaged or the house generously allotted for my use is intact, it ought to be possible. I see to it now with your permission, Stanops.¡±


    ¡°Run like Tyagwin, Sajaitin,¡± exhorted the oligarch. The idea came across for all that the allusion escaped Dirant, and he ran at the fullest pace his stats permitted.


    Soot had fallen on the gazebo, which had avoided the conflagration by having no Bodan-Tins or Paspaklests in it. More soot and ashes had blown into the service closet and dirtied both the box and the design where it sat on the shelf. That required careful cleaning, a simple task for the careful Ritualist. The careful anything really, though Ritualists preferred not to spread that knowledge around. Of course certain tools were required so as not to mar the design. Dirant dashed to his house, enough of which survived to shelter his implements. With those and a client, a Ritualist might accomplish wonders.


    A Drastlifar poked his head through the pavilion''s window some ten minutes later. ¡°The work is accomplished in one minute more, you may tell the Stanops,¡± Dirant informed him.


    ¡°The splendor of success illuminates you, Sajaitin. But we need you to identify someone at the, er, the erstwhile gate.¡±


    ¡°Ah?¡±


    The Drastlifan sentries hoped to enjoy the advantages of Dirant''s expertise with regard to his own company, the messenger explained. A group of Adabans were claiming to be employed by Stadeskosken and to be making a delivery in accordance with their instructions. They unquestionably had cargo with them. Ordinarily the matter would have presented no difficulty or even notice, but with all the deceit and scoundrelry about, confirmation was desired. Since cooperation and Stadeskosken never left a room unless together, Dirant headed over. Contrary to his expectations, he did recognize the six employees and their noble wagon.


    ¡°Hello, Mr. Onkallant. Is this perhaps a job for an anonymous client?¡±


    Onkallant Paspaklest laughed and winked the least sly wink in the country if not the continent. ¡°It''s practically so, for a fake name isn''t far from none. How is it here? Getting into too much trouble, or?¡±


    ¡°Yes, far too much. Is the cargo also secret, or?¡±


    ¡°I wasn''t told so, but nobody in Drastlif would understand what it is anyway. A load of popcorn, specialty varieties bred for flavor, huge amounts, too much for anyone. But is everything all right here after all? There''s a certain smell.¡± The six employees and the horses too sniffed throughout the meeting as if engaged in a contest to become the champion of irritating noises.


    For a moment, the multitude of possible responses overwhelmed Dirant. Should he satisfy first Onkallant''s curiosity, relieve for his own sake the terror of the recent hours by unfolding the grisly tale and letting the details fall to the floor, or else prioritize the advancement of Stadeskosken''s interests by settling the delivery situation? Not the first one, he decided, since he doubted the depth of Onkallant''s curiosity as a general personality trait. Not the second either, since activity had long since driven out his worry. The Drastlifars were cheerful enough also. The third, then.


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    He consequently arranged the wagon''s admittance, its unloading at the gazebo, and for a message to be sent to the Stanops before he informed the newcomers of the most salient facts they must know to mingle comfortably at the festivities soon to commence. Amazement and stupefaction resulted, which reassured Dirant the recent events were no usual thing. He had begun to wonder.


    The state of the town, disordered by fire and then frost, proved that something had occurred, which prevented the Stadeskosken employees from doubting Dirant Rikelta''s honesty. Not that they ever would, what with the second half of his name. The shindig preparations already underway on the beach supplied more evidence. After noticing the presence of Dvanjchtlivs of a non-tourist, non-mercantile sort, skepticism gave up and repaired to its lonely tower to look over the world and doubt.


    ¡°What can a man do to deserve fortune as constant as this?¡± asked Poiskops Bodan-Tin when he learned that not only was the popcorn facility intact and operable, but that a very confiscatable load of specialty product had been ordered by a man who, if he was not in reality Helsodenk Nifkleskir, ought to have clearer about his identity. ¡°The one excuse for plenty is that we can share it. Here by my decree begins the celebration!¡±


    The Drastlifars cheered, and hearing that, the Dvanjchtlivs did as well. They would have felt silly had the oligarch''s speech been the signal to massacre them, but the morals of their host preserved them their dignity. The meat went on the spits, the runners began ferrying in popcorn which even the crown prince of Noiswawau and lord treasurer of Swadvanchdeu had to admit to be a delightful novelty if only out of politeness, and lovers of game, sport, and points looked at Dirant with beseeching eyes.


    He complied. Battle''s frenzied rituals had wearied his voice but not his line-scratching tools or his desire to offer the consolation of immaculate scoring systems to townsfolk beleaguered by disasters, not to mention the chance he had to show off. Onkallant came over and inspected the painstaking creation of fields sure to raise his own class above others in glory. That suited him better than worrying over being the intended victim of a sinister plot. ¡°I almost wish for our father never to find out,¡± he said on that subject. ¡°It''s impossible of course, but it''s such an unfair thing to put on him. Ah, the world is how it is no matter what we do. There''s another thing that maybe we can take some action regarding, Mr. Dirant.¡±


    His head down and his staff sketching away, Dirant kind of listened and sort of answered. ¡°Is it the number of points given? There is little science behind the current values. My advice is that you write a pamphlet on the subject.¡±


    ¡°No, no, the sole improvement to your excellent field here can be nothing but betting. On me, not by me. There''s some advice for you. No, it''s these Akard-Velgsin ships.¡±


    Dirant backed off and frowned at his latest achievement. ¡°Ah, and you are right to worry, though whether there is anything for us to do is less clear. Miss Desabas and her people may soon experience a shock, certainly, but be assured the monsters left the lord treasurer''s crew alone. I suppose the action we might take is to write to the broadsheets in Yean Defiafi of the situation so that they spread it. The story will be mangled of course. That is insignificant so long as the existence of a problem is understood.¡±


    Onkallant seized Dirant''s hand and shook it Drastlifanishly. ¡°When I hear you put it out as easily as that, I wonder how I live from day to day. That''s just what we''ll do. I must stop bothering you now. Unless you bet against me!¡± He let go and laughed, though for him, not laughing was the more notable circumstance.


    New tennis courts came to stand atop the vanished marks of the old much as inhabitants of modern cities could find classical waste dumps if they dug below their basements, if they had basements, which Drastlifars generally did not. Igwodan-Tin trainees saw to that without being ordered, since Posmeterin was taking a nap at the time. They were completely aimless and uncontrollable only when someone was around to control and aim them.


    Their skills honed by blunt repetition, the illustrators finished before the competitors were ready, occupied as they were with the town itself. Though full repairs waited on daytime and materials, some propping up and hauling down on the part of the physically capable seemed judicious, not to mention fetching the favored dolls of children not as frightened as they ought to have been. The two ambassadorial deputations assisted, first by putting together a lovely suspendable cage to display Helsodenk Nifkleskir and subsequently by converting devastated buildings into functional shelters through Dvanjchtlivan military techniques. Both Prince Ozovramblidaj and Lord Treasurer Boij Ogleript initially offered a more significant and lasting improvement in the form of conquering the marshes and annihilating the monsters within, but Stanops Bodan-Tin refused to impose upon their generosity by forcing them to bring in a thousand more Dvanjchtlivs who would have to stay there for the several months they predicted the operation would require.


    The contest for the title of most helpful foreigner was on, despite the absence of a formal announcement. Dirant, unable to vie with the Battlers and Myrmidons as far as Strength, decided to impress with his versatility. From drawing he moved into the popcorn distribution industry, and the delight the Drastlifars and Dvanjchtlivs displayed when for the first time they tasted authentic GE flavored specialty varieties gave him a memory he would cherish and bring up during licensing negotiations if any such took place.


    ¡°It is a mistake to infer too much from a casual comment, and still less from a pointed one,¡± Dirant mused. ¡°Most likely the Stanops engages in habitual flattery when he implies an interest on Keiminops''s part. That makes the best hope of profit, and therefore the noblest hope, the discovery of his actual plan. I must either act with boldness now or else forget the matter before I burden myself with regrets to no purpose. The world provides sufficient of those without any need for me to invent my own.¡±


    For all the merits boldness possessed, it relied upon other qualities to direct the action it ceaselessly urged. While Dirant was exercising those to decide whether he ought to get Keiminops Bodan-Tin drunk in the hope of an indiscreet admission, hire Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain to break into the target''s room and find relevant paperwork, or just beg, what might be done for Koshat Dreivis that day was done, and the beach began to fill. Drastlifars again conjured the sounds of tennis, drums, and general revelry, this time assisted by Dvanjchtlivs who, for all their ignorance of local customs, knew how to throw a rock.

 57. An Inquiry Into The Forms Reward May Take

    And An Explanation Of The Supremacy Among Them, Universally Accepted, Of Money


    Eagerness to join the crowd and enjoy praise of his scoring layout, this time in Dvanj, pushed Dirant right into Posmeterin Igwodan-Tin, who had an analytical eye on his students'' work. Naturally a product of a respected Greater Enloffenkir institution of ritual learning could be analytical as well, to say nothing of thoroughly critical, and just as naturally he accepted his older colleague''s invitation to contribute an outsider''s opinion. When they reached the outermost courts, with ¡°outer¡± defined as the ocean and ¡°inner¡± as the land in a most Adaban fashion, astonishment disordered Dirant''s bodily systems, and not because of a remarkable tennis court. The reason was that he saw a weird little guy looking out to sea.


    The Ritualist blinked and saw Holzd even farther out, still gazing oceanward. Certainly there was some meaning to it, but before he ran into the ocean in a fit of religious ecstasy, he sought Posmeterin''s opinion on the divine manifestation. ¡°Pardon me, Sajaitin. Would you look over there for a moment?¡± Dirant, expecting to be called upon to correct marred lines regardless of his instructions to the competitors, had in hand a staff which he swung to direct attention toward the blessed advent.


    Posmeterin Igwodan-Tin, recently awakened and rubbing the buildup of sleep from his eyes, looked over and awakened to the fullest extent. ¡°Sajaitin! This is the honor of honors!¡± He dropped to his knees, or rather sank to them, not being a rash man, and lowered his head toward Holzd, who reached over from yards away and patted his head without turning away from his maritime vigil, much like a lighthouse which sends it rays both landward and seaward.


    The two Ritualists embarked on a miniature pilgrimage to offer their devotion with hesitating steps as if they feared to intrude on their god''s numinous meditation. A bystander able to perceive not just their behavior but their very emotions, Holzd for instance, would have known their genuine fear, which was that they might be given some ridiculous task. By their shared worry and anticipation evident in their glances back and forth as well as the tremors felt in each other''s arms they grabbed for support, they understood with nothing being said that both had been assigned some such before.


    By no means was the priestly life one of unrelieved trepidation. For instance, the god may have appeared to assure Dirant the danger to Delaosant Paspaklest had passed or to celebrate the temple''s escape from ruin. If so, his actions contradicted his intentions. Like some sort of philosophical experiment, they never reached Holzd no matter how much they decreased the distance. Farther and farther they walked until the god disappeared altogether, and looking up at the edge of the ocean they saw something more earthly yet more startling still.


    It was a ship out of the Akard-Velgsin shipyards, and her progress toward the shore so resembled that of an earlier vessel that none but those so ideologically devoted to drawing no conclusions that they refused to admit the sun would rise the next morning did not forthwith imagine the troupe of mounters below, hurrying her along with their terrible suckers and claws.


    ¡°I hear also the powerful lungs of Seifis Desabas Aesyo whose acquaintance the gods permitted me to make,¡± Dirant told Posmeterin. ¡°Please cover your ears as well as you are able, for I intend to raise my voice.¡±


    A peal of thunder. Boulders tumbling down, shaken by the ever-shifting earth. The roar of disappointed gamblers in Egilof. Dirant approached none of those in volume, but he yelled loudly enough and ran with sufficient speed that the ship''s haulers had for their reception not a parade of their fellows as they may have expected, if monsters had the capacity to expect, but rather a host composed of fighters eager to excel in some undertaking. The games they had been playing each allowed but a single victor, and even second place rankled for those types.


    The day''s third battle was the shortest, against the advice of rhetoricians but consonant with the highest ideas of military strategy. Prince Ozovramblidaj committed none of his reserves and the Ritualists and Subjugators stood idle. So swift was the victory and so unresisted the human combatants that they subdued the foe to the utmost without needing to burn the ship.


    ¡°You were going to destroy my ship? There are limits to courtesy, I hate to say!¡± Desabas Aesyo''s dismay at the proposed action when informed of it was soon mollified by an explanation of the recent events. She appreciated even more when Chisops Bodan-Tin declared why he opposed the burning while behind them her crew disembarked, kissed the beach, and sometimes cried a little.


    ¡°Gentlemen, ladies, Your Highness, we now have a manmade monster station. I don''t have the eloquence to describe properly the possibilities this opens to us, but by the blessed contrivance of the eternal captains, I can rely on you men and women of repute as witnesses of the variety of monsters who surrounded the ship before and how simple it was to control their numbers after the one skirmish. The research that can be done, ah, my tongue isn''t long enough. Yes, our own monster station, and one we can move about to attract monsters of different environments and, as a consequence most to be desired, cease to inconvenience Stanops Bodan-Tin or his splendid Koshat Dreivis.¡± There he clasped his hands and addressed Desabas Aesyo directly. ¡°I will be very surprised if your name, Seifis, is not remembered forever in the field of monster research. Eizeur Nifkleskir will also be much thanked, posthumously.¡±


    Poiskops added his own heavy influence in support of not antagonizing a daughter of a prominent Yean Defiafi family so long as he might also avoid antagonizing important personages of Swadvanchdeu and Noiswawau. ¡°That''s how it is, Seifis, if even Eizesl Dogai-Brein says so. You''ve had a rough time, and us no less, which is as good a message as the higher heads ever send that all your people should join us in a celebration of fortune good and undeserved. Behold the play fields intricate traced by peerless sajaitins! Eizesl Paspaklest is getting big scores, but he can be beat, I think.¡±


    Anyone able to resist an invitation such as that never purchased experimental ships and sailed them along the coasts of foreign lands. The adventurous Survyais enlivened the proceedings yet more, not only because of their own boisterous nature but also the responsive enthusiasm of Onkallant and other Aesyo admirers who became so energetic that the earlier year''s end festival seemed merely a practice run. Then there was the way Helsodenk and Essar glared at the proceedings from their aerial stations, which moved everyone to amusement. Even the bonfires danced sprightlier than before.


    Seeing the mess the fierce competitors made of his lines while they exerted themselves to win Survyaian attention, Dirant began to contemplate a new theory which he promptly proposed to Posmeterin Igwodan-Tin. ¡°Sajaitin, is it plausible that the Divine Guidance (Hunch) ability may bundle together several matters of varying severity? For example, a feeling of misfortune might refer to domestic problems and assassination together.¡±


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    ¡°Sajaitin, I would be surprised if it did not,¡± Posmeterin answered. ¡°I''ve found it so when I use it, at least. I try not to, but when focus unshakable I attain . . .¡±


    Any more fellow feeling between the two Ritualists and they would have merged into one being. No argument against unfolding the entire history from that Hunch in cultured Isarpezoltk came to Dirant, and therefore he did exactly that. Takki came over to assist in the telling after some respectable if not prize-winning stone tosses. By the end, she had more questions about the narrative than Posmeterin did. ¡°Ressi, are we done, do you think? Has the emergency expired?¡±


    ¡°Just before Miss Desabas''s arrival I would have said yes, and so I must admit to knowing nothing without a sign. Ah, and there it is.¡± His stomach and kidneys seemed to exchange positions, his spine felt like a post used by cats to sharpen their claws, and he saw a small figure nearby stretch one limb higher than an Ottkir clock tower and bend it double for it to dive down and pick popcorn out of a bowl. Holzd looked at his priests and winked.


    ¡°We can take that as authoritative, I think,¡± the older concurred.


    ¡°What is it? What''s the sign?¡± For all her swiveling and craning, Millim Takki Atsa, Battler, saw no indications or portents, even when one waved at her.


    ¡°Its visibility is class-specific.¡±


    ¡°Oh, all right. That''s great, Ressi. I know you were worried.¡± There was the smile of the runner-up in a poetry contest who understood the importance of good sportsmanship, intellectually.


    ¡°I was,¡± Dirant said. His desire to inspire cheer in others notwithstanding, he had to be honest. ¡°Enough so that my determination is that Divine Guidance (Hunch) is properly used as a last resort only. Still, there are adventures before it and after it also.¡±


    ¡°Always after it,¡± Posmeterin Igwodan-Tin lamented, his thoughts far away. ¡°Always, always, always.¡±


    That suggestion of an unspeakable history restored Takki''s spirits entirely, rendering her suitable to assist in the powerful revelry necessary to repel the curses the captives were trying to inflict by means of malice alone. Perhaps such a thing was possible; Tands possessed exotic abilities after all, and Helsodenk might have learned a few.


    ¡°It is only too bad we cannot have Mr. Helsodenk, all peace upon him, perform his Acrobat tricks for us,¡± Dirant was remarking to Stansolt Gaomat when Takki shook his sleeve.


    ¡°That''s true, but Ressi, I just got Drastlimez (Intermediate).¡±


    ¡°Congratulations,¡± both Grenlofers said, but that, it seemed, was not the vital point.


    Takki sidled closer to Dirant and lowered her voice after looking around. ¡°And I still don''t know what seffif means. Has anyone found out?¡±


    ¡°Some circles of society twist words a bit to make them sound cuter and smaller both. Seffif is the juice when seifis is so pulped, Seifis.¡± Takki''s precautions amounted to hanging a sign saying ¡°No Crime Here¡± over the door to the counterfeiting operation when the keen ears of natural detective Loigwin Nein-Cadops-Bain happened to pass nearby. The sole fact which saved her was that wondering about vulgar slang carried no legal penalty. Loigwin went on to address another case after congratulating Takki on her achievement. ¡°Short-sighted as I am, even I see northerners apart, clustered together like veins rich amid plain rock. What mattock may we raise to extract you?¡±


    ¡°Miss Onerid''s whereabouts are unknown,¡± Dirant answered. Most judges would not have recognized that as a cooperative response to a question, but Loigwin accepted it with a smile.


    ¡°They say there is true accord where the crew and the captain can be silent and the ship yet sail.¡± He looked around for the next clue, and if only he saw Holzd or some other god who visited the shore, he might have had one.


    Observing that set Dirant to musing about complications, ramifications, and the importance of cutting through them all with sharp purpose. ¡°Ah. It is best that I search her out also, and for the very simple reason that it is my plan, and I say so openly because the respect and affection I bear for all of you forbids untruth, to spy on certain people in the hope of learning secrets of financial significance. Already I regret not inventing a pretext, but it is late and all are merry.¡±


    He was wrong to regret it. Stansolt Gaomat approved of spying generally, while the explicit mention of a pecuniary motive precluded Loigwin from conceiving unnecessary fears. Takki, for her part, wanted to check on Onerid and cared little what the act was called. Therefore she accompanied Dirant while the other gentlemen went their own ways.


    Dirant''s highest expectations met their fulfillment. Onerid was easy to find from the sound of Keiminops Bodan-Tin''s sales pitch outlining his grand entrepreneurial scheme, his only precaution against company spies being the distance from the beach tennis courts. A handy boulder provided cover with cooperation from deepening night.


    ¡°. . . because what most travelers want is predictability. A price within the budget. A dish he knows, if not the most gastronomically appealing. The menu items are in the same order every time. A drink that won''t set him to heaving later. The entire world is crying out for a restaurant like that in every city, every town, and probably not every village. When I put my ear to the ground, like this, I can hear it say, ''Sell maps and gazetteers there too.''¡±


    He elaborated on his plans even while recumbent, a scene an artist might recreate in oil and label ¡°The Triumph of Fervor Over Dignity.¡± As for his listeners, Dirant strained just as fervently to hear and Onerid at least looked interested. Takki alone had more dignity than fervor, a fact which suggested certain explanations for Pavvu Omme Os''s relative economic situation.


    Though Dirant silently resolved to withdraw if the conversation became excessively personal, the determination of when it crossed that imaginary but nevertheless significant threshold being left to him and no one else, the presentation ended shortly after with a short question and answer session, following which Onerid promised to consider the matter. Keiminops strode away as if triumphant, Onerid went elsewhere with a thoughtful step, and Takki complained.


    ¡°This is going to sound awful, but I just don''t believe there''s anything romantic about finances. Every Drastlifar says there is, that ''Will you record my expenses, darling?'' is a proposal, and I don''t want to call them all liars, but they don''t really carry on like that, do they? Adabans love money as much as anyone, and you don''t do that. You don''t, right, Ressi?¡± Takki''s sudden stare mixed supplication and accusation into an indescribable compound dangerous to drink.


    Dirant laughed instead. ¡°Not at all. The opposite is popular in novels of a romantic character, I understand. Often in the final pages the hero confesses to the heroine, who likely is called Ledasmir even though I have never met anyone of that name, how consumed he was with the pursuit of money to the exclusion of human warmth before he came to know her. Many acquaintances of mine have learned from humorous experience, humorous to their friends that is, how ineffective is the formula when attempted by someone not already wealthy.¡±


    ¡°We''re exactly the same, only she''s named Joffgi.¡± Her smile of relief and tug on his arm to guide him back to the well-partied quarter of the beach discouraged Dirant from admitting he was thinking about business right then, in particular the potential he saw in the standardized menu plan of Keiminops and what his options were as far as stealing the idea, pushing for a portion of profits as part of a license, setting up a joint venture between Keiminops and Stadeskosken, or some other profitable maneuver.


    So absorbed did he become in his theorizing that his guts began to squeeze themselves. Recognizing the signs, he broke himself out of the reverie which threatened to invite another divinely guided hunch by asking about the literary implications of various Omme names while at the same time offering a prayer.


    ¡°Long-winding Holzd, for the reward of overhearing what I wanted to overhear if indeed it was a reward I thank you, and otherwise I thank you regardless while thanking also the god responsible, and further the relief of Delaosant Paspaklest is my relief also. I beseech you not to think my gratitude less if never again do I use that one ability as my present intention is.¡±


    His god heard the prayer and appreciated the circumspection of his priest in not vowing absolutely not to use Divine Guidance (Hunch), since such a vow would be impossible to keep.

 1. The Terrible Force Of Centuries

    It Presses Upon Kingdoms Until They Are Smashed And Compresses Graves Into Curiosities


    The past lay far below. Historians continually warn of the dangers in ignoring the past and just as continually are ignored because of their evident financial interest in the matter, but in that place even those who most fervently resisted the allure of memory, debtors for instance, conceded the justice of the claim, primarily because of its less abstract nature. A fall into that ravine where chance had exposed the ruins of an ancient settlement would surely kill anyone but the hardiest Brawny Knight, the deftest Acrobat, or the most tenacious Small Fry.


    The wooden bridge across was at least no rickety thing thrown together ages ago, but rather a recent contrivance that, though temporary, was designed by an accomplished engineer familiar with modern methods and rated to handle not only foot traffic but a limited amount of freight as well. Knowing that, the latest group of workers and tourists felt nothing more during that leg of the journey than the usual deference owed to height, even while looking down at the remains of walls and suggestions of streets. Some remains were placed where the sun might glare; earthy ravine walls shaded others much as artifice had once sheltered parks where the builders of that vanished civilization rested for a time from their labors or else distributed the spoils gained by whatever crimes their primitive understandings could devise.


    A guide led the travelers. That guide conceived his duty to be one merely of directing them to the excavation camp from the nearest town, that being Ividottlof, and nothing at all to do with explanation. He had cause for that beyond a mere disinclination to repeat himself for every new arrival. No one would cross that particular bridge who was ignorant of the site''s significance: That it was a remnant of the civilization called today Ertith which rose, flourished, and succumbed to the fate of nations long before Egille led his followers across the forbidding ocean to the continent which now bore his name. Nothing else attracted visitors to those hills which even the locals disdained for any use but grazing the less admirable animals.


    Still, every Ertithan site had its peculiarities, and every discovery was a tale worth recording in the pages of a periodical which published articles of archaeological interest. Owing to the guide''s negligence, elaboration on all such points devolved to know-it-alls who gladly took up the tacitly shirked burden.


    ¡°That excavation a few years back gave up at the first breach. The funds behind it, well, there are wealthier institutions than Oplironmakti University, though in academic terms its reputation is impeccable. The lead hoped to make immediate progress and accrue backers in that way, but hope would stop being called such if always it met success. Of course the potential was an authentic thing, but what use is that to the underfinanced?¡±


    ¡°Really they wanted to label it Iflarent''s Grave, but do you know? The body was recovered in the end and buried elsewhere. This Iflarent is no important personage of course, but only a brigand who dreamed. He formed the ambition to put every band in the region under him, admirable if he pursued a worthier occupation, and expand the natural caves and gullies and such into a hideout complete with its own barracks and treasury. His workers, and though we like to think they were compelled there are those who consider money to be clean no matter the hands that held it, had the luck to find caverns already enlarged by the ancient Ertithans. That luck was other than good for them. They dug injudiciously and triggered cave-ins that spread into landslides and wholesale terrain alterations such as this ravine here, which is young.¡±


    ¡°When Mr. Atkosol Tellanstal read a retrospective article written about the Iflarent''s Hideout excavation, just from that, he decided everything had been done incorrectly and there was more promise here than anywhere else. The truly rich are that way, if you have ever noticed. They think the rest of us are poor through our total incompetence, and what upsets me is how often they prove the supposition correct. When Mr. Atkosol takes an interest, you can be sure he will make something of it, and now we have found possibly the most extensive underground passages in the continent, though the Hideout isn''t overall the biggest or most intact of the Ertith ruins.¡±


    ¡°It''s the verticality which distinguishes the Ertith from other pre-Egille civilizations. Their architecture has nothing in it necessary for us to learn, but they reached heights both upward and downward which are wondrous when the period is considered, two thousand five hundred years if they all fell dead the moment Egille stepped on land, an impossible event. The ziggurats are what they are, very handsome things, but even for their ordinary buildings five stories is nothing exceptional. The subterranean chambers and tunnels deserve their fame. All that while their contemporaries, so far as we can fix the time, packed together mud to make huts for a season before they moved on when the weather dictated.¡±


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    ¡°Sometimes frustration and fascination are coiled in the same rope. It is similar to a novel that''s almost good or the sculpture with misshapen eyes in that somehow they are the more compelling for their flaws. When you think of that Ertith paper that fades with age so that the writing is not the least bit legible or those mosaics we see only in pieces, are you not more desperate for some scholar to reveal the whole than for the next chapter of a gripping serial?¡±


    The situation recalled the classic novel Astride a Gilt Cow to traveler Dirant Rikelta. When he first read it, he considered it to be an incomparable work of genius which exceeded its considerable reputation. In the years since, not so many years, his estimation of it had descended. The primary cause was that it lost its exclusive position as the sole novel older than he was which he had read, but secondarily, its clever skewering of society and the vapid participants therein impressed him less now that he had joined them. He hoped he had not himself become insipid enough to be the target of satirists, but after spending more time in the company of people who surely qualified and many who did not, he had learned the usual choice either way was not between inanity and profundity but between speech and silence. Though silence was often preferable, prattles made themselves valuable by providing the option, as natural it was to feel superior to those who indulged their didactic tendencies to the point of boring their listeners without possessing the awareness to realize it.


    Further, the presumption that everyone would be bored by what bored him or a witty author had not withstood the test of experience. Right then, as an example, the recipients of those lectures appeared to be doing so with good humor or even appreciation he could not dismiss as feigned. After all, the information contained therein, while basic, he knew because of research he conducted as a professional responsibility and was no part of the average citizen''s armament. The speakers moreover had a ready audience while Dirant traveled alone and silent in the manner of a hermit driven from his refuge by a more popular hermit, and altogether he suspected himself to be the inferior.


    Dismissing the entire matter on the grounds that it would contribute to a mood incongruous with the fine weather, Dirant crossed the long bridge and followed the guide along unmarked but unobstructed trails which passed scrub and scrawny trees just wide enough to conceal a single brigand each. Even if ignorant of the history of the hopeful bandit king Iflarent, now deceased, any Adaban would have described exactly those surroundings if asked to propose a base for a robber band. Someone tried a joke on the subject and regretted it; a sure knowledge of the chief''s death did not entirely prevent trepidation, and the laughs he received were nervous. If a traveler''s emotions became disarranged to the point that he considered it necessary to adjust his broad-brimmed Adaban traveling hat and wipe his forehead, the others affected not to notice. The day was warm, after all.


    Reason won over the inchoate survival instinct, for once, and the group progressed steadily along the wandering path till it resolved itself into a straight street unsuitable for criminals who desired regularity only in their escape routes. Moreover, the band capable of such organized infrastructure had better prospects in the commercial sphere. To the traveler unaware of the location''s archaeological interest, the place may have seemed a boulevard surrounded by an invisible fairy village if he turned and left before he saw the street''s cousins intersect it to create blocks of buildings, all one or two stories and fashioned in the plainest mode from wood which smelled as fresh as a young Adaban off to his first archery practice. Then again, perhaps fairy villages followed the same plan. The stories frequently omitted detailed descriptions unless a banquet occurred.


    So regularly ordered was the base camp that the guide, without having heard in his life of any such company as Stadeskosken, pointed Dirant toward the likely vicinity of its warehouse with total accuracy. The commercial quarter hosted it, and while most archaeological endeavors did not incorporate a commercial quarter, it was only because Atkosol Tellanstal was not backing them. There was a visitors'' quarter also, an administrative quarter, and then the labor quarter which constituted far more than a fourth of the camp, the name notwithstanding. The labor quarter had by itself reached a size sufficient for a permanent community to have considered electing a mayor.


    Dirant became truly alone rather than simply isolated when he set the commercial quarter as his destination, for the other travelers went straight to the administrative quarter in the hope of meeting Mr. Atkosol himself, his wife, or one of those experts on Ertith whose names radiated sophistication as the sun did warmth. He did not long remain so, since the Stadeskosken warehouse was easily found and naturally had personnel inside.


    His fellow employees received him cordially. ¡°You are then the new Ritualist.¡± Stadeskosken insisted on regular internal communication, and so what might have been a question was not. ¡°There''s nothing for you to do today. There won''t be enough to do any day to justify bringing you out here, but Mr. Atkosol''s jingling pockets have this entrancing quality to them.¡±


    Indeed, a facility too small to have its own manager rarely demanded its own Ritualist, let alone the company''s sole Itinerant Ritualist, a title which signified nothing but that someone was available for temporary assignments. Since it implied no superiority of position or salary, Itinerant Ritualist Dirant Rikelta met on equal terms the common hands Onhavant Ikladaf, Tifnir Kaofenpleda, and Goskol Megranap. He had never met any of the three before and yet would remember them forever. They had such distinct names. Whether Megranap was even an Adaban name was a question full of distraction during tedious hours.

 2. Recognizing, Being Recognized, And Avoiding Undesirable Recognition Are The Three Graces

    To Enable Them May Justifiably Be Declared The Purpose Of Society


    What Mr. Atkosol wanted from Stadeskosken, Dirant had been briefed, was a Ritualist capable of handling goods from multiple suppliers including but not limited to Stadeskosken, with ¡°handling¡± understood as revoking the Preservation Rituals which kept perishables safe, fresh, and inedible for transport and storage. The excavation had its own Ritualist, one who specialized in sorting through the dust and refuse of millennia and was therefore best kept away from the yams.


    ¡°I find the same applies to any employer, and so I do not complain as much about easy assignments as my pride demands I ought,¡± Dirant said, and in that the Stadeskosken employees enjoyed a perfect alignment of opinion regardless of the role assigned them within the company. Moved by camaraderie, by a lack of rituals to perform, and most of all by the impossibility of manning a popcorn station since Mr. Atkosol had declined that option, Dirant went so far as to contribute a small amount of manual labor, something more often required of him than his profession or his stats foretold.


    <blockquote>


    Ritualist


    Priest of Holzd


    LV 9 160/1000


    HP 293


    Muscle 36 (+2)


    Coordination 44 (+5)


    Verve 43 (+4)


    Sticktoitiveness 57 (+6)


    Discernment 69 (+5)


    Gumption 27 (+4)


    Tit-for-Tat 42 (+1)


    Receptivity 88 (+7)


    Panache 46 (+4)


    Class Abilities


    Ritual Judgment


    Ritual Completion


    Ritual Memory


    Ritual Delay


    Ritual Substitution


    Divine Guidance (Hunch)


    Ritual Humility


    Ritual Revelation


    Ritual Development


    Ritual Flair


    General Abilities


    Adaban (Fluent)


    Heweks (Fluent)


    Yumin (Fluent)


    Tabilidgeir (Intermediate)


    Dvanj (Intermediate)


    Drastlimez (Intermediate)


    Usse (Intermediate)


    Desurvyai (Basic)


    Saueo (Basic)


    Mercantile Fundamentals


    Horse Riding (Intermediate)


    Class Perception (Divine)


    Negotiating Fundamentals


    </blockquote>


    His 36 Muscle impressed nowhere near as much as his extravagant Receptivity, the sole requirement of the Ritualist class, but the opportunities given to exercise stats are unequal. So too are the chances to boast about them. ¡°Ah, my Receptivity? 88, as uninteresting as it is.¡± The opening to say that had not come up a single time in Dirant''s career. He feared that if it ever did, he would botch the execution from want of practice.


    The warehouse was equipped with its own living area insofar as a couple rooms furnished with bunk beds each might be described as such, which was as far as anywhere in the camp outside the administrative quarter went. ¡°We have locks even. Less because of crime than animals,¡± Mr. Goskol informed Dirant.


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    ¡°By such failure of hospitality, do we not deny ourselves pleasant dinner guests?¡±


    ¡°Yes, they and the mites which invariably accompany them.¡±


    As luxurious as the accommodations were presented as being, Dirant opted before retiring to acquaint himself with the camp''s layout and major figures, a program which his colleagues enthusiastically recommended. Without a manager to stand between the personnel and the client, demands might come in at any time no matter the inconvenience. Embarrassment might be avoided if the employee saw a commanding sort of gleam in a client''s eye, but that relied on knowing who was who and how important each was.


    They themselves would be pursuing other entertainments, they unnecessarily assured him before they parted for the evening. Dirant strolled to the administrative quarter, the proper place for such exalted persons as Atkosol Tellanstal and, if not one of Stadeskosken founder Haderslant Rikelta''s nine sons, certainly Ritualists, he allowed himself to believe. At the same time, all the workers, closer to two hundred than to two or a hundred, began returning to the camp, trodding up the long, winding downward path determined to be the safest and fastest available route to the ruins.


    Accessibility had hindered the initial university-backed excavation also with the result that it failed to make any real discovery before the funds ran out, and it was a scheme of eventually completing at great expense a road straight from Ividottlof to the bottom of the exposed ravine and relocating the camp there which convinced Atkosol to take over. That was all according to interviews. The matter had been entrusted to the genius engineer Taomenk Genarostaf, and pictures of him as he stood beside Atkosol in those same articles allowed Dirant to identify the two men.


    They stood in the open, taking the central parts in a discussion which involved several other men and women, none of them former representatives from the venerable state of Opstliknetta to the governing body of the confederation of Greater Enloffenkir, also known to the impatient as the GE or Grenlof. Atkosol, who was, looked as if, rather than slowly going bald, he had promptly dismissed all his front-facing hair when he realized the gains in convenience to be made when it came time to wipe his forehead. He was doing so just then. The rest he allowed to remain so long as it refrained from infringing upon his ears. That remainder was dark brown as was typical for a Rik, a member of one of Greater Enloffenkir''s five major tribes. The other GE tribes attributed to Riks a high degree of intelligence which Atkosol''s expression seemed to reflect, though the thoughts he formed resulted not in anxiety as the stereotype suggested but in determination, to judge by both his purposeful demeanor and his present enterprise. While the phrase ¡°former Entessihotka representative¡± usually applied to the retired, he appeared to be of middle age just as he belonged to the middle height.


    Taomenk Genarostaf resembled his employer in those last two traits if in no others. He had, like Dirant, the black hair of the Adaban, or had had; it was going gray. Age did not diminish the amount of it, extending as it did into impressive muttonchops and even into a beard, something unusual in modern GE fashion. His frown gave the impression of having plain habit as its cause rather than any proximate spur to displeasure.


    As for the others, none of them had attained the fame required for someone like Dirant to know by sight, a deficiency on his part to be sure rather than theirs seeing as they belonged to the category of people allowed to speak with Atkosol Tellanstal. They took the chief part in each exchange as well, suggesting some action and receiving an answer such as, ¡°Yes, do that.¡± Atkosol had mastered the lessons of Life on the Top, the classic treatment of optimal behavior for people in positions of responsibility which claims that visibly exercising leadership in most cases proves it to be poor, for one ought never to have hired underlings who require close supervision.


    Observing the scene was a cluster of people easy for anyone to recognize, not with respect to their individual names but to their profession. The reporters assigned to the excavation stood there or sat on stools they hauled over for the purpose, relaxed but ready to spring an interview upon anyone who staggered and became separated from the pack. They glanced at Dirant but turned away when they detected no sign of approaching news.


    One of them glanced a second time. ¡°Hello there, newcomer. You look familiar, something like that handsome Fennizener in town who handles the logistics. Related to him by any chance?¡±


    The question needled Dirant. Not because he wished to be known as the handsome one, knowing that to be impossible, but because the fact of Silapobant Rikelta''s preeminence among his brothers in terms of looks had the feeling of a family secret for all that it was evident on their faces. He answered civilly despite his irrational irritation. ¡°It is so. Our meeting is a blessing for me. Dirant Rikelta, brother of that very Silapobant Rikelta and similarly employed by Stadeskosken, a company which offers a variety of goods and services in addition to our fundamental mission of providing reliable transportation of goods.¡±


    ¡°Even more for me. Kodol Hinpabafnoren, and you can call me Pots if you have something you''d like printed under a name not your own.¡± The man nodded and turned back to watching for developments. Kodol was the most reporter-looking of them all, though determining exactly why was difficult for anyone not a Pinpointer engaged in politics or criminal detection. It was not his black hair swept back somewhat in the Yean Defiafi fashion though not so severely as that kingdom''s fashionistas suggested, which was a common enough style in the GE if less prevalent than what Dirant exhibited (that is, allowing one''s hair to fall over as much of the forehead as possible). His open coat and shirt had nothing distinctive about them either for all that a smart vest might have done him some good. Perhaps it was his manner, for even while speaking to Dirant his head twisted around in emulation of an owl in search of mice, unwilling to miss anything and unconcerned whether his intentions were known. To do one''s job is nothing shameful after all, though a reporter possessed of a nickname must be suspected of zeal bordering on the indecorous.


    That ended local interest in Dirant. The other reporters looked over during the exchange because they trusted Kodol''s judgment regarding what was worth consideration, and just as easily they agreed there was no more to say to the new arrival, thereupon returning their attention to Mr. Atkosol. With that issue resolved, Dirant expected them to ignore him henceforth and thereby proved his ignorance of their type.


    ¡°Pardon me. Our meeting is a blessing for me. Aptezor Ristaofen.¡± A young reporter, possibly the sole person Dirant had seen that day younger than he was, removed himself from the society of his fellows. Unlike Kodol, Aptezor adopted an investigatory tactic of staring at his subject with an intensity reserved by most for coins as they roll over the desk or bread as it leaves the oven. His technique had its result; when he suggested they move a short distance way to converse, Dirant agreed instantly so as to have a reason to look elsewhere.


    ¡°It''s an unreasonable request of course, but I hoped that in your position as the son of the founder of a prominent mercantile concern, you might be willing to offer a businesslike opinion for the readers of the Amlizen Crier, a reputable publication within the state of Likstalmitlof.¡± From the way Aptezor rushed through that without a single breath, Dirant imagined for him a past in some choir or other, or perhaps he had been an authentic town crier before working his way up to the metaphorical version.

 3. The Sundry Entertainments Available In Temporary Communities

    Though All Fall Under The Heading Of Gossip, There Are Subtleties


    ¡°Ah, you know who I am?¡± Dirant paused. That sounded to him more like something a famous person might say by way of modesty than the startled question it was. ¡°How do you know who I am? Even in Kitslof my celebrity is unrealized, let alone in Amlizen. I visited Amlizen once and cannot believe the inhabitants of that congenial city inquire into every visitor, for they have their own interests which are less objectionable in regard to privacy.¡±


    ¡°Was it a visit to the famed Sored University''s famed department of ritualism, or?¡±


    ¡°It was. I had cause to consult Professor Tanseliaf. You may print that information, as confidential as it is. I must insist as a condition for anything further that you answer some of my questions in turn.¡±


    ¡°Certainly. There''s nothing strange about it. When we learn Mr. Atkosol insists upon having his expedition supplied by a certain company, an investigation of that company must be done. Of course by ''investigation'' I imply nothing out of the way, simply looking up public records and so.¡± The manner of Aptezor''s delivery had a plainness redolent of unexceptional truth, and yet Dirant suspected the other reporters had not taken those routine steps and would have been amazed by Aptezor''s thoroughness had they heard of it.


    ¡°That is quite reasonable,¡± Dirant said, worried that any response more elaborate would come across as mocking. Which it would have been, of the other reporters, but they did not deserve rudeness either, so far as he knew. ¡°In a businesslike vein, the accepted practice avoids referring to one''s own employer as ''reputable'' for the reason that anyone hearing that instinctively becomes convinced of the opposite.¡±


    ¡°Ah! I never knew.¡±


    Dirant nodded. ¡°It is so, and now we may put that aside, for the repute of the Amlizen Crier cannot be undone so easily as that. What is your opinion of the other publications represented here, and what are they, and who are the reporters? While we are identifying people, have you heard in this camp or in town of a man named Medant Denmarof? He is a mercenary, I must say to avoid confusion, and not another reporter.¡±


    ¡°I''m sorry, but I have not heard of him.¡±


    ¡°Never mind that then. And your peers?¡±


    ¡°They are all entirely . . . Can I say that?¡± Aptezor frowned upon realizing how near he had come to failing in the implementation of the excellent advice he had just received from an authority on the commercial world according to the interview''s premise.


    ¡°Yes, and doing so makes your own outfit appear all the more respectable.¡±


    ¡°Are you certain?¡±


    ¡°It is a tendency rather than a guarantee, and with that understood, yes, I am sure.¡±


    Aptezor''s discombobulation diverted him from his purpose. The more experienced interviewers had learned to pay no attention to what their subjects said for exactly that reason. ¡°Then they are all entirely reputable. Though Mr. Kodol is . . . experienced. His employer is not actually a normal publisher but rather the Outside Word company. I don''t know if you know of it, but it sells stories to broadsheets, typically on a non-exclusive basis. Much of the news in your local publications from out of your state probably comes from them.¡±


    ¡°No one but you is to be thanked for my learning something today. Is he in truth known as Pots?¡±


    ¡°Yes, just because . . .¡±


    ¡°Because?¡±


    ¡°Just because of all the pots he''s had thrown at him when lurking around houses under windows and so.¡± Aptezor rushed through that too, and his cheeks remained red for a time afterward as if they questioned his choice of career. ¡°Ah, do you see that man there? That is Mr. Nalfenk Migolkir for the Scientifically Minded Gentleman''s Primer, a quarterly specializing in explaining the latest scientific developments to a wider but still intellectually inclined audience.¡±


    ¡°You mean the gentleman with the sharp features indicative of a god who wanted there to be no doubts about the matter? Who never lowers himself to read the vulgar favorites, Among the Proud Hills say, and yet is able to converse intelligently about them on account of his intimate comprehension of literary form and technique? The man between you and Mr. Kodol in age and far from either of you in fashion insofar as on the streets of Yean Defiafi he would raise comment only as to his immaculate appearance, or?¡±


    ¡°I probably should have meant that, but we don''t have that kind of space in the Crier.¡±


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    ¡°Likstalmitlof is doubtless a busy state full of doings which must be recorded,¡± Dirant allowed.


    ¡°Yeah. I mean yes. It''s nothing next to Chtrebliseu though.¡± Aptezor lowered his voice in recognition of delicate international considerations. ¡°Do you see that Dvanjchtliv woman there, or?¡±


    Certainly Dirant did. She stood out like a Dvanjchtliv among Adabans, or to be less exact while at the same time emphasizing the brotherhood of man, like an emerald among rubies. Her cap, equipped with a long cord ending on a bell left to tinkle against her back, marked her as either a Chtrebliseuan or one of that kingdom''s admirers, and the sandy blonde hair below it tied up in a chignon suggested which. Speaking of emeralds, the combination of green and brown only which she sported in the camp found little favor in countries without Chtrebliseu''s history of strict sumptuary laws. The same influence was responsible for the wooden pendant of a star around her neck.


    ¡°Miss Bodder represents one of those publications which is authorized and overseen by the king himself,¡± Aptezor continued when Dirant acknowledged he in fact did see her. ¡°Nothing appears in it without being understood to have been confirmed by the royal apparatus.¡±


    ¡°The arrangement must inspire respect for the people trusted to uphold it, whatever we may say about it as a policy. What is the name of the publication?¡±


    ¡°The Royal Confirmation.¡±


    ¡°That is straightforward enough. And the lady''s full name?¡±


    ¡°I have it here somewhere.¡± While Aptezor flipped through his notebook in search of a name that, once found, would likely be mangled based on the difficulty he had in remembering it, Dirant directed the interview, a productive one by his reckoning, toward another young woman who had caught his eye for a reason unlike the usual.


    ¡°Foreign fashion is one thing, but is that ensemble recommended anywhere? And what of the lady wearing it?¡±


    Aptezor looked up. ¡°Baozir Nalna, or? Yes, that''s the direction. Over the Plain is a local institution. It covers the whole state just as the Crier does for Likstalmitlof in the present day, but . . .¡±


    ¡°But two entities alike in their legal status may differ as to the frequency of newsworthy events?¡±


    ¡°That''s it, and there''s nothing less than reputable about either situation. It''s just a fact. Miss Baozir covers local society, such as it is, I mean, you are able to make conclusions. There''s something refreshing here compared to high society elsewhere, though. I''ve tried to read our own paper''s coverage and couldn''t figure it out because of all the insinuations and obvious oversights. Here, I asked Miss Baozir some questions and received nothing but straight answers. When I wondered if that was the style in Enpasatosalkir, hers I mean, she told me quite frankly that it was not so and her publisher was promoting it by way of advertisement for another business he owns. She also confessed how glad she was of an excuse to indulge in the unconventional.¡±


    Trust someone on the Amlizen Crier to get at what the public wished most to know. Baozir Nalna''s twintails, vest, and skirt with crisscrossing diagonal brown stripes which created the impression she had stepped in a basket and required assistance to extricate herself had made Dirant question everything he knew about contemporary fashion. Now he was again settled and complacent, the ideal emotional condition.


    Aptezor informed Dirant of nearly everything he knew about the entire body of reporters before he remembered who was supposed to be interviewing whom. ¡°Mr. Dirant, does the extraordinary support Stadeskosken is lending this excavation to the extent of sending a son of the firm''s very founder who holds the unique position of Itinerant Ritualist, on top of establishing an entire warehouse intended to serve not a city but merely a small camp imply confidence the enterprise will grow considerably following dramatic discoveries, or?¡±


    ¡°What may seem extraordinary when performed by other providers of transportation and other essential services is a commonplace for Stadeskosken. Our custom moreover is not to make any sort of judgment about our clients, committing ourselves instead to prompt obedience to his requests. And now that I have answered a question of yours, I think it is right that you answer one or two of mine.¡±


    ¡°That''s as fair as I can ask,¡± Aptezor agreed, and he was correct for all that higher Gumption or the Negotiating Fundamentals ability might have secured him a better bargain.


    Moving past the correspondents, he confirmed that Atkosol and Taomenk were the men Dirant thought they were, in the sense of identification rather than anything regarding their character, of which he knew little. Further, he passed on the rumor that Mr. Taomenk had been quick to accept the job at lower than his usual payment on account of his eagerness to be involved in an Ertith excavation. ¡°He has theories, it is said. I do not know them. It may be that I am not able to understand them, not being an engineer.¡±


    The Mabonn-looking woman whose red hair was left to grow long in the back but forbidden the low-hanging bangs so popular today and who had such ease in her manner that she appeared to be lounging on a low couch despite standing while she looked on Atkosol''s firm decisions with complete approval was Lommad Okliten, his wife. ¡°Their four children are currently dispersed among various schools,¡± Aptezor added.


    That Mr. and Mrs. Atkosol agreed with Dirant''s father about the proper physical distance to be maintained between parents and children before the latter became useful gave Dirant almost as much insight into the habits of the wealthy as Life on the Top. Before he could delve into the lessons important for both society and commerce he might derive, courtesy demanded he pay attention to the rest of the important people his interrogation subject was pointing out for his benefit.


    ¡°Mr. Odibink Sharazilk and Mr. Gabdirn Haubentlag there are both Ertith specialists,¡± Aptezor said. ¡°Mr. Odibink,¡± nodding at a notably tall man who was then rubbing his hands on his vest as if he had just spilled something on it and was far too much of a bachelor to realize how much worse he was making the mess, though in reality he was simply the nervous type of Rik as opposed to the Atkosol specimen, ¡°has successfully reconstructed multiple Ertithan mosaics.¡±


    ¡°How is success determined? We cannot compare them against the originals, or else there would be no use in the reconstruction from the beginning.¡±


    ¡°They look nice.¡±


    ¡°Ah.¡± The seriousness of Aptezor''s response precluded laughter on Dirant''s part and also made it hard to suppress, though he managed.

 4. On The Handling Of Voluminous Correspondence

    The Reader Who Does Not At Present Require The Complex Scheme Of Sorting Described Herein Is Reminded The Future May Be Less Grim Than The Present


    ¡°Then there is Mr. Gabdirn.¡± The figure indicated was in his name and form the very model of a Heweker. He was a bit taller than Mr. Atkosol, a bit younger, and a bit imposing in the way that Hewekers often were on account of their legendary courage and territoriality. Surely even an audacious reporter would refrain from pressing him too far, physically at least. Dirant envied the Heweker for that; Aptezor was standing a little closer than he liked. Aside from that, the way Mr. Gabdirn gestured with a pair of glasses indicated he required them on certain occasions but not as a constant accessory. Whether he was balding or simply preferred his plain brown hair cut short was a question one might ask of many of his tribe. ¡°He is the author of several books calculated to inform the general public of the state of knowledge on various Ertithan topics. I was only able to read a few of them before I arrived here.¡± That last admission brought back the blush so recently overcome.


    ¡°Your lapse is easily overlooked for a consideration,¡± Dirant said. ¡°Are those two alone here as far as Ertith experts? An undertaking of this sort must thrill them much as an obvious false name on a hotel registry does people like Mr. Kodol, I would have said before today.¡±


    ¡°There were more in the beginning, and many said when they left that they would return when the proposed road from town was complete. Some have come and gone in the meantime. A man coming all the way from Dosoroz is expected soon as well, though travel over that kind of distance isn''t a friend to timeliness.¡± While considering whether to add details, dormant thoughts arose in the reporter''s professional mind. ¡°Ah! Surely there must be some significance in two of the founders'' sons being assigned here, one to Ividottlof and the other to the camp directly. What is your response to that, Mr. Dirant?¡±


    ¡°That would be so in perhaps an organization run on the basis of abusing personal relationships to negotiate secret deals. For Stadeskosken, a company operated under the sun with nothing to it but efficiency and skill, every manager is equally capable and every Ritualist is at the forefront when it comes to our profession''s commercial applications. Who is that Survyai receiving instruction from Mr. Atkosol? He appears partially Adabanized.¡±


    ¡°You can only be talking about Mr. Doltandon Yurvitas.¡± The gentleman in question retained a very Yean Defiafish tricorne but had shaved the mustache he likely once possessed and allowed his hair, which seemed almost to be formed of streaks of blond and brunette like a house painted by two brothers unable to agree, to lie low almost to his eyebrows rather than be pulled toward the back. He was even wearing the whites and tans favored by GE manual laborers, the tans for the sweatier areas and the whites to distract from the other. His eyes squeezed shut in concentration whenever Atkosol addressed him, though there was nothing peculiarly Survyaian or Adaban about that any more than a tribe existed which claimed the exclusive right to Aptezor''s unbroken stare. ¡°Or Mr. Doltandon. They put the title on their family name in Yean Defiafi and it comes first, so they''re they opposite of us in two ways.¡±


    Dirant already knew that, which allowed him the pleasure of consciously refraining from pointing out that he did. With no less broad-mindedness and generosity of spirit he asked, ¡°And what is his story? It is a guess that he has one, and yet I stand by it.¡±


    Aptezor nodded. ¡°He looks like that kind, doesn''t he? I looked into it, and he is.¡±


    ¡°Is what you suggest that Mr. Doltandon is one of those shiftless inheritors of wealth which is of sufficient magnitude that the accountants required to count it cost more in wages than the municipal budget of Ividottlof? The sort so common in fiction that the cynic is deceived into believing none must exist in truth? I suppose he cannot be shiftless.¡±


    ¡°I suppose not. He enjoyed his leisure at home until, for some reason I haven''t yet found, he entered the construction field. He soon came to lead large Survyaian work crews that actually work.¡± That last part came out hushed, as if a reverent description of a miracle witnessed by the faithful.


    ¡°Ah, and so the physical component of this endeavor is his responsibility?¡±


    ¡°Just of the Survyais who came with him, but that''s more than half the manual laborers here.¡±


    ¡°That is expected if their wages are based on the performance expected from Survyai workmen rather than what Mr. Doltandon gets out of them. Once here, leaving the project must be more difficult for the foreigner, another advantage for the employer if not always sufficient to balance the unfortunate weight of language.¡±


    Aptezor wrote all that down and evidently believed the interview to be producing at last a worthwhile harvest, though Dirant saw nothing remarkable in what he had said. Perhaps he expressed it in an especially felicitous way, though more likely Aptezor judged the simplicity of his comments to be more digestible than the terms true potentates of the business world doubtless employed in their own discussions. It was just the same as when Mr. Gabdirn recast the ore of academic understanding into shovels and knives for the public to grasp, presumably. Dirant then realized he perhaps should read some of those Ertith books before letting his similes become extravagant.


    By the end of the interview, one participant had enough material to work into a few paragraphs and the other a respectable summary of every notable person in the vicinity. Dirant went on to make additional inquiries of other people while Aptezor ended up questioned again, this time by his colleagues as to the reason for his interest in someone of no obvious worth. Was the newcomer a reporter after all, for some publication he wished to conceal or at least not use as fuel for boasts? So Nalfenk Migolkir wondered, and Aptezor again blushed, for he had not thought to ask.


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    After ten days, Dirant had settled in to the routine of a Ritualist assigned to an excavation of an archaeological site''s base camp. Aside from fortifying the Stadeskosken warehouse and other buildings with the Mold Prevention Ritual at Mr. Atkosol''s request, the primary consideration which affected his Ritualist work was dealing with multiple suppliers, and already Dirant was pondering whether it might be advisable to send letters begging those companies to include the ritual tokens which facilitated revocation rituals with their perishable deliveries.


    Repeatedly revoking the Preservation Ritual made up his entire duty once the mold had been as prevented as completely as he could contrive, and therefore any favorable adjustment there would relieve the burden on him immensely. Then again, what was there to do with the section of the working day thus returned to him? Hauling boxes? Listening to inquiries from people unsure if Stadeskosken entertained special requests, which it did? Probably, and nothing about that sounded distasteful. On the other side, directing the attention of rivals to a practice which gave Stadeskosken a competitive advantage could not be commended as wise when phrased in that way.


    Aside from that, the daily routine had its curiosities, such as the fact that everyone aside from Mr. Atkosol''s household and his personal guests repaired to cafeterias for mass feeding. The pivotal point of every day in that environment, the meat dish as it were, the singer of the goslikenar, the seasonal festival, was the arrival of the mail, a commonplace which took on momentous importance in the camp, likely because it all came at once. The entire population came out to hope, to receive, and as sometimes happened to fall into despair.


    That day several letters came for Dirant, more than usual. One had been sent by a certain Lord Audnauj Olzenchipt Stavripdeu Blawraj of the eastern country of Redrin. It called for a response but no emotional reaction. Another was from a lawyer on the subject of popcorn and required no action on his part whatsoever. A letter which as yet admitted of no useful reply, though Dirant still hoped, was written by Edol Mikstifoken. Siltwo, or rather Silapobant Rikelta in public, wrote to address a few details, relate news from the home office, and suggest that Dirtwo, which is to say Dirant Rikelta, attend dinner at Siltwo''s home in town at a future date, the less future the better.


    That was odd. Those two particular brothers, ten years between them, had never been close, and if Silapobant had once evinced the slightest sign of fraternal feeling, Dirant must have been in another room at the time. Their meeting in Ividottlof before he continued on to the hills had struck Dirant as chummier than usual, and the letter confirmed the impression despite his convincing himself it had been an artifact of his own mood. Perhaps Siltwo''s recent marriage had him thinking familially.


    Resolving himself to accept the invitation, there being no disadvantage to it aside from crossing the bridge twice more and the possibility of poor cooking at the far end, Dirant proceeded to a letter from a certain Millim Takki Atsa, an acquaintance from the northern country of Pavvu Omme Os. Someone with a map in hand might have noted that much of Pavvu Omme Os extended almost as far east as Redrin, though a surveyor with a topographical map could counter that most of that consisted of mountains. Regardless, the letter was of interest not because it required a reply but because it was one, or ought to have been, since Dirant had proposed that said acquaintance should visit Iflarent''s Hideout during his stay there.


    ¡°Mr. Dirant Rikelta


    ¡°In response to your summons


    ¡°After receiving your letter, I checked the closest mirror to determine whether I am one of those exotic entities called forth by Summoners and Symbol Knights. I confirmed I am not. That established, the source of your confidence I would come when you called as if you were a hunter whose residence needed another trophy and I your hound has to be some delusion derived from artlessness, arrogance, or sheer Adabanness. The truth may go forever undiscovered.


    ¡°Battler Millim Takki Atsa¡±


    After reading that message several times, turning the page upside-down, and examining the reverse side, Dirant had begun calling to mind everything he could about invisible ink when a voice startled him.


    ¡°There you are, Ressi. Did you receive my letter yet? I can come back if you haven''t.¡±


    ¡°This is it right here in fact. Hello, Takki.¡± He lowered the missive and saw one of the Jalpi Peffu tribe, but only after he looked down. Those northerners of Pavvu Omme Os and Pavvu Istis kept themselves compact, likely for thermal reasons. This particular specimen seemed shorter still despite her above-average stature among her tribe for the reason that her halberd''s blade tended to wave above her head. Of course he who knew what he would see before he looked on the basis that addressing him as ¡°Ressi¡± was a habit exclusive to one person.


    Takki smiled in return. ¡°Hello, Ressi. My greeting was implied, but in retrospect I think I should have led with that. ''There you are'' sounds a little dismissive, doesn''t it? Oh, but Semka told me it''s good to be a little dismissive sometimes. That''s why I wrote that letter. She''s married as of recently, and therefore her advice has more authority than it used to.¡±


    ¡°Is she? Please transmit my congratulations to your sister.¡±


    ¡°I will. She''s Iboia Takki Pikkim Semka now. I don''t know if you were free to attend, but that turned out to be inconsequential. They wanted a traditional wedding, family and witnesses only, and you don''t own a house. You could, though, couldn''t you?¡± Takki played with the tailing part of her headscarf, an essential item of typical Omme dress. That day it bore a repeating pattern of green hexagons on a brown background, a color scheme which disturbed Dirant''s conclusions about Miss Bodder. Perhaps the allure of Chtrebliseu had spread north. Everything else about Takki''s presentation remained as Jalpi Peffu as ever, from her ponytail down to her divided traveling skirts. Some foreign admixture showed in her auburn hair, but a wig to conceal it would have been excessive.


    ¡°Certainly property here is affordable. For me to prove the point relies on your allowing yourself to be shown around the camp.¡±


    ¡°Depending on the other party to let you demonstrate whatever you want? If that''s your strategy, I really don''t think you''ll like the consistency, but I''ll let you get away with it once.¡±

 5. The Astonishing Meetings Of Young Gentlemen

    What Astonishes Is The Presence In Some Few Cases Of Coherent Speech, A Bushel Of Thoughtfulness, And A Suggestion Of Incipient Good Manners


    The tour of the little cluster of buildings perched on that almost-barren hill vindicated Dirant''s claim by exposing the poor economic conditions of the immediate area. He admitted in response to Takki''s prompting that his means almost certainly permitted him to acquire a lot within Ividottlof or a community of similar prosperity. Owning a house in his home city however seemed a dream closer to a nightmare in that Fennizen had its cheap land, its land not several hours away from his workplace, and no overlap.


    Any property he bought regardless of location must have a loan behind it given the inequality between his treasury and his income. The money he took in, the bulk of it at least, went without delay into some investment or other. Most recently, the belief among Adabans that the Dvanjchtlivs of Swadvanchdeu and Noiswawau maintained even to the present day their venerable custom of distributing largesse at joyful events such as the signing of a peace treaty happened to be true. That amounted to 800 miskhanenar which mere hours later became a stake in an incipient restaurant-based enterprise. At the same time he accepted a position as Ritual Consultant in the new company, his responsibilities being to shut up about it outside of disclosures authorized by the founder, Keiminops Bodan-Tin of the south-eastern country of Drastlif, and also to assist with negotiations to license a specific ritual for commercial use. Since he had assisted in developing said ritual, his bargaining position might be considered more commanding than it was by novices in the business milieu.


    Takki''s revenues exhibited less stability than what Dirant hoped to achieve, depending as they did on the habits of monsters and the demand for their parts. Quite a rush had been necessary for her to reach the Hideout that day, he inferred despite her attempts not to reveal so directly, presumably at her sister''s recommendation. She mentioned only that she had just completed a hunt for a grim chieftain, one of those monsters which demanded a team to take down. ¡°It''s a big one too, and that''s by grim chieftain standards. Some piano-maker will be kept in piano material for a long time,¡± she declared.


    ¡°Is that what one needs for a piano?¡±


    ¡°If you want it to be the best, sure. Oh, I don''t want to mislead you. The grim chieftain supplies some of it, the keys, strings, and the little coverings on the hammers I''ve heard, but not the whole piano.¡±


    All in all, the tour taught Dirant more about pianos than Takki learned about the excavation camp, since the latter had so little to it. Still, she arrived with a sense of anticipation and nothing had happened to suppress it. She leaned sideways toward Dirant and lowered her voice to say, ¡°Ressi, I haven''t been to an Ertith ruin before and I''m excited about it, but am I mistaken that in your letter there are hints of an ulterior purpose for your presence here? Something which might necessitate that you request assistance? A phenomenon you might call puzzling?¡±


    ¡°You are so far from being wrong,¡± Dirant confirmed, ¡°that you are entirely correct. Ah, it is probably nothing in the end, and yet there is this forbidding air about the matter. During your trip here, did you hear of any such person as Medant Denmarof? Or see him? He is a mercenary, a Myrmidon furnished with an appropriate physique, in his mid-20s though eternally boyish in appearance. Customarily he wears a headband.¡±


    ¡°I don''t think so, Ressi. No, I''m sure I didn''t. Is he missing? A suspect?¡±


    ¡°The former, it seems.¡± From there Dirant related a meeting he had in Fennizen with a young gentleman named Edol Mikstifoken before he was assigned to Iflarent''s Hideout. He had accepted without trepidation when Edol invited him to lunch, since the two were friends as of the last couple years. Before that they had been so opposed to each other as to be as much like enemies as children can possess, but upon returning home from separate absences, they found their opinions and sentiments had drifted closer to each other and further from those of some other acquaintances.


    Their relationship gained additional significance after Dirant''s time in Drastlif on account of the involvement Edol''s family had in the restaurant business. Having determined on a course of tailoring each restaurant to better attract a specific clientele, the idea of an establishment configured to provide predictable meals to travelers appealed enough that Keiminops Bodan-Tin''s first Neya restaurant opened in Greater Enloffenkir rather than Drastlif, a fact sure to amuse historians of commercial culinary activity should any of those exist. Keiminops decided on the Neya name after his new associates convinced him that GE citizens, far from rejecting foreign-sounding restaurants, overall preferred them, though the menus were a different matter.


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    ¡°You remember Mr. Medant,¡± Edol began. The topic surprised Dirant, though on reflection, any would have, much as everyone is born on some day for all that it is unlikely any particular date should bear the honor.


    ¡°Well enough that to call him Mr., while justifiable, is a choice which may be questioned.¡±


    ¡°I know, but I decided on this after some thought.¡± Doubtless that was true. Edol considered every one of his words unless he became frustrated, at which point he ran on to the point of incoherence and beyond. Naturally his friends attempted to induce that condition at every opportunity. ¡°It is the gravity of the situation that decided me. The possible gravity, I should have said. His employer, the condottiero Anpazor Onhalaogiken, is presently between contracts. His mercenaries therefore are free for a time, and Mr. Medant went traveling. He corresponded regularly with his family and friends.¡±


    ¡°That contradicts what I remember of him.¡± That was a sincere observation rather than a jibe since the conversation evidently deserved a serious tone.


    Edol nodded. ¡°He adopted the habit because of the danger of his new career. Disappearing is one thing when everyone expects you to show up again at your whim. So. His last letter indicated a desire to visit that dig near Ividottlof, the Ertith one. Nothing has been heard from him since.¡±


    ¡°Ah.¡± At that point in the recollection, Takki said ¡°oh¡± before she apologized and urged Dirant to continue.


    ¡°It hasn''t been so long since that letter. Most likely he will write soon, or no, even more likely is that he has written but his letter is caught up in a snag somewhere. His family is worried as might be expected if you remember them as well. I only bring this up because, did you not mention there was the possibility that you might be assigned to that vicinity, subject to your acceptance? You were unsure, seeing no compelling arguments for or against. Well. Might you take this as an argument for? I cannot claim it''s a compelling one.¡±


    It all sounded very reasoned and proportional, though if one observed Edol squirming in his seat like a child, which one definitely did, the sense came across that ¡°his family is worried¡± communicated the fact while disguising the severity, much as when a gambler states, ¡°Some money is owed.¡± That decided Dirant. While Edol''s happiness could not be said to be his happiness, nor was the happiness of Medant''s relatives strictly speaking Edol''s happiness, human feeling can win easily when there are no obstacles for it to overcome.


    ¡°I will do so, and soon you may write to me at my address in Iflarent''s Hideout.¡±


    Edol would have shaken his hand save that utensils occupied all the hands available. ¡°As silly as it is to say so when I forced you into this because I am helpless in the matter, I hope you will have no hesitation at all in asking me for anything you consider helpful which I am able to provide.¡±


    ¡°Have you considered praying, or?¡±


    Though Dirant recently saw a more impressive blush from the reporter Aptezor, at the time he thought Edol produced quite a good one. ¡°You are engaging in levity, but in fact I have been doing some of that lately.¡±


    ¡°Ah, you as well?¡± The response disconcerted Edol; the chance of two educated young men who belonged to Fennizen''s commercial sector admitting to religious sentiment must be low, even if one merely humored the other. Which was not the case then. After lunch, Dirant went so far as to research which gods appeared best to propitiate in relation to the present worry. He preferred not to involve his own particular patron, Holzd, the god who yearns for complexity, in a matter so straightforward as that one appeared to be at the time.


    ¡°And for all our feigned confidence that Mr. Medant would emerge from the unknown like a hero leaving the enchanted forest in a folktale, I have learned nothing of him, either that he came here before or is expected to do so,¡± Dirant concluded. ¡°Of course he is not some famed condottiero such that his passing is always remarked, and yet neither is he a sojourner enshrouded by enigma, careful to disguise his face and name lest the law or his past reach him. Therefore I am unable to reassure his family and preserve my honesty together.¡±


    ¡°That''s very troubling, Ressi.¡± Patting Dirant on the back as if he were the one who needed reassurance, Takki said, ¡°And it''s not as if you can wait here for word, quarter yourself in Ividottlof, and search the roads and bandit hideouts between there and his last known location at the same time. Well, I''m here now.¡±


    ¡°My hopes have been revived by that,¡± Dirant said. ¡°Though before I inflict my problem on you, I am pleased to say that a cul-de-sac of the ancient city has been cleared and cavern supported sufficiently that a closer examination will take place tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°Oh! They say those areas frequently contain entrances to underground passages, don''t they? If we want to avoid tearing down the ziggurats, those are the only routes which give access to most of their internal chambers. I read that in a book that was translated recently.¡±


    ¡°Ah, and was the author a Mr. Gabdirn Haubentlag, or?¡±


    ¡°That doesn''t sound too far off. These Adaban names are hard to remember, though.¡± Seeing Dirant''s expression, Takki frowned. ¡°He isn''t an Adaban, is he? I don''t think a mistake like that could possibly be as amusing as you obviously think it is. Anyway, did you read the same book?¡±


    ¡°Rather than that, and rather than being amused by the entirely understandable difficulty there is in distinguishing us from Hewekers, the unexpected opportunity is given me to reveal Mr. Gabdirn is in this very camp.¡±


    ¡°That''s amazing! I guess I shouldn''t be so surprised given the nature of the site, but I am. Ressi. You made me be surprised on purpose.¡±


    ¡°Pardon me,¡± he said, and under the circumstances, she did.

 6. BelowThe Bulging Earth

    A Guide For The Vertically Inquisitive


    The next day had the air of the potentially momentous. That description applied solely to the figurative air, for the weather maintained its even aspect with no indication of rainfall. It was the people who caused the change.


    The non-expert tourists especially could hardly help but expect some drastic discovery, since for one to be made at any other time than their visit must be regarded as an intolerable imposition on the part of fortune. Some expressed their fantasies of unprecedented finds openly while others hid theirs behind a facade of world-weariness. ¡°There is always some great discovery or other being announced that will change everything about everything, and what is the outcome? None, but the barkers proceed to the next without shame. It is all a big theatrical performance where we are the spectators and actors at once.¡± There, and if the cynical prediction prevailed they would be satisfied in their intelligence while if their secret wishes were fulfilled, all the better.


    An effective antidote to excessive optimism was that Mr. Atkosol did not intend to be present himself at the initial survey, instead allowing Doltandon Yurvitas to handle the matter. The great man preferred to oversee ongoing tunneling in the manner of someone who believed accolades better earned than possessed, and furthermore he thought the road to town to be worth the closest attention. Certain reporters exaggerated the circumstance to suggest a lack of enthusiasm for the entire excavation which had begun on an impulse and could end the same way. Others noted that Atkosol''s history of putting himself forward at opportunities for publicity consisted of, so far as they could find, nothing, and therefore his absence held as much prophetic significance as a bull''s liver.


    Though the schedule called for Mr. Doltandon''s survey to take place during working hours, Stadeskosken''s Ritualist would be able to attend, or rather had to. The client wished for a second of that class to be available for consultation by Patklenk Ost, his own Ritualist, in the event an opinion from a fellow practitioner inexperienced in antiquity''s rituals as encountered by the modern explorer became desirable. Put that way, Patklenk almost certainly would not avail himself of the resource, and ¡°almost¡± was more of a collegial concession than an admission of doubt. Dirant accordingly marched out from the commercial quarter assured that his role for the day was simple tourism and met Takki as she emerged from the visitors'' quarter with the same idea. They joined a murmuring crowd ready to be guided down. Of course many knew the way already, but some occasions are inherently communal.


    Doltandon Yurvitas stomped to the front, looked them over, and explained the restrictions Atkosol had implemented in order to preserve the fragile remnants of an ancient civilization while at the same time protecting himself against legal action. ¡°Ladies. Gentlemen. Don''t touch anything.¡± His public-facing job done, he ventured forth from the camp.


    The path remained external to the hill for a distance long enough to deceive the traveler into believing it a respectable road before it turned and plunged right in, down rough stairs made by brigand-paid labor which ended in a natural cave further developed when Iflarent still lived, one of the few which survived the bizarre chain of terrain alterations among which he died. It had formerly been used as a supply station during the establishment of a route to the ravine''s bottom but had become obsolete. The tourists transmitted that information among themselves, since Mr. Doltandon was, rather than a guide, someone moving with purpose who condescended to allow others to follow him.


    Once at the ravine, the universal thing to do was look up. Everyone who crossed the bridge looked down in defiance of both well-intentioned advice and common sense, and therefore the opposite took on the aspect of simple reciprocation, not unlike questioning an acquaintance''s musical taste after his unkind words concerning yours. The bridge looked as frail from below as it did in the imagination, thin and unsupported. To the sides, masses of exposed rock in layers of orange and gray composed a citadel more imposing by far than anything created by man save perhaps in Sedoglai Dolinyan alone, a country otherwise unremarkable.


    ¡°I can climb those walls easily, given equipment.¡± One tourist claimed that with such confidence that, while nobody believed him, the notion of hiring the man as a salesman occurred to several.


    The explorer who kept his scrutiny exclusively to the horizontal saw nothing to recommend Ertith as far as infrastructure. No ziggurats were visible in the ravine or much else. A single wall, seldom intact and often collapsed, represented an entire building. As for streets, those were the segments without walls, unless one had fallen onto it. Such adornments as statuary and fountains existed in the imagination of an Entrepreneur considering land value improvements and nowhere else. Any modern town might emulate the exposed district simply by contriving to be affected by an earthquake.


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    Over tunnels opened in the ravine''s sides had been hung signs. One indicated by its grand title of Triumph Avenue that it led to the main square or rather circle, a ring of palaces and ziggurats around what once may have been a market, a ceremonial location, a ground suitable for military drills, a park or garden designed to please the upper stratum, or some combination of those. Researchers differed as to the details, but nearly all agreed the city circle appeared to be a regular feature of Ertithan planning; every major site had one, down to what appeared to be a diminutive village which nevertheless possessed on opposite sides a two-story palace and a three-step ziggurat barely taller than a modern barn.


    That was not the tunnel Doltandon Yurvitas took. Instead he hurried under a sign which marked the far more mundane Route 5. Such hurry would have been dangerous at many an excavation where laborers supported by university funding permitted the burdens of crouching and avoiding obstacles to fall on the people who would get the credit for any finds. At the Hideout, Atkosol''s treasury alone bore everything on its golden shoulders. Tall, broad passages reassuringly braced by regular systems of lumber compared well with the model complexes lauded by mining periodicals which produced record amounts of ore while not requiring a complete workforce replacement every five years for reason of excessive fatalities. The occasional thin shaft in the ceiling not only relieved the oppressive solidity of the ceiling but, in combination with the ritual designs encircling the holes Dirant if nobody else detected, ensured a consistent airflow. Exits from the main corridor came as regularly as doors in a hotel and looked more inviting than many.


    ¡°Something is lost as far as rude appeal. There is this potential however for Mr. Atkosol to make the place a retreat for the wealthy and perhaps allow gambling also, elaborating upon the natural advantages regarding security.¡±


    ¡°Does this state permit such?¡±


    ¡°After five words from him.¡±


    ¡°And those are?¡±


    ¡°''I offer this much money.''¡±


    ¡°Ha!¡±


    No better evidence of the lack of rude appeal could there be than the light mood of the crowd as it followed Mr. Doltandon with none of that whispering and uneven breathing one imagined when reading about some dauntless Explorer making his way on hands and knees across and under scraping rocks until at he reaches a cavity which accommodates his full height, and there before him the splendors of an earlier age wait like a bride at a long-delayed marriage ceremony for him to gaze upon and tremble with the joy of it. The lone indications of agitation were produced by Mr. Odibink, for whom ¡°anxious¡± and ¡°alive¡± seemed synonymous, and Mr. Doltandon, who gave the impression that wherever he was and where he wanted to be forever had a great distance between them.


    Mr. Doltandon eventually made a turn. The journey lost a little of its ease on account of the narrower tunnel he entered. No longer could the visitors travel three abreast, arms around shoulders and singing a lively song. Nobody had been behaving in such a manner, and yet the freedom to do so could not be surrendered without regret. As compensation, the tension rose a little and along with it, the thrill.


    Where the passage ended and the antechamber began was a matter for philosophical argument, for the former''s width and height increased slowly and then quickly until it had incontrovertibly yielded to the latter. That underground area expanded still more, and just past the point where several Odibinks knocked over by jealous husbands could be comfortably laid across the floor if more than one Odibink might be found (and even a single jealous husband), it became an entire cavern firmly supported by the hardest rock which had for decoration crude pillars and spikes formed by centuries of accretion and condensation.


    ¡°That is highly odd, is it not? Was this city built underground from the very first foundation, or?¡±


    ¡°Likely so,¡± Gabdirn Haubentlag opined. ¡°Not the whole. The main circle they did higher, probably above ground then. Geological shifts make a fine disguise, and it''s difficult know to know what was where. This district was unquestionably lower than most. The question is what was the necessity. Storage is one idea. Religious significance is another. Defense is highly likely, but the threat which needed special defense was what?¡±


    ¡°Oh, now wait with that,¡± Odibink Sharazilk objected. ¡°You say, or, you aren''t saying how many doubts there are about what you said, and is that irresponsible? I think it is. In the first place it''s still unresolved when the Ertith civilization flourished¡ª¡±


    ¡°Are we children?¡± Gabdirn interrupted.


    ¡°Now I forgot where I was.¡± A short, hard stare at nothing recovered Odibink''s line of thought. ¡°Oh, I wanted to mention the hill formation process that may have antedated the abandonment of this site. Hills are formed when a force distends a rock layer upward, forming caverns that¡ª¡°


    ¡°They are not!¡±


    A lively academic discussion followed while Doltandon Yurvitas joined up with the workers assigned to search for access to any lower passages, and it did not cease after they reported and subsequently received their instructions, whereupon the combined group went from presumed house to supposed granary. The employees held brushes and a capacity for thoroughness while the experts held forth. Public opinion appeared to be on Odibink''s side, though since the public limited its expression to murmurs between particularly salient points, gauging it was nothing but guesswork.

 7. The Ziggurat And Its Illogical Allure

    Being The First In A Series Discussing Obsolete Architectural Forms


    ¡°Ressi.¡± Some particularly quiet murmuring came from Takki. She understood Adabans preferred silence on the part of the audience during their public events, but she erred in believing that discussion to rate as such. ¡°Does the voting seem more one-sided than it should be? I thought Mr. Gabdirn countered Mr. Odibink''s claim about the technology required to exploit caves that already exist really well, but nobody looks convinced.¡±


    Ignoring the description of the present circumstance as ¡°voting,¡± Dirant answered, ¡°It is mostly that Mr. Gabdirn is a Heweker.¡±


    ¡°Oh. If I got an education in the perception of Hewekers, would I understand the significance?¡±


    Dirant not only matched Takki''s low volume but went beyond that by pretending his left boot gave him cause for concern. Using that as an excuse to lag behind the crowd, he allowed it to pass on a good distance before he said, ¡°Hewekers sound stupid.¡±


    ¡°Oh, that reminds me of the way those snobs in Sessu Rasse look down on the rest of us.¡±


    ¡°Even so, except that should you press us, most I think will admit the accusation is unjustified. Nevertheless.¡±


    ¡°Hmph. Does Mr. Odibink sound especially intelligent to you?¡±


    ¡°He is more of an artist than a speaker, and perhaps therefore his clarity of thought exceeds that of his speech.¡±


    ¡°Have you seen any of his mosaics? Oh, I''m mollified now so we should probably go back.¡±


    ¡°I have not yet.¡±


    At every stop the debate faltered as both men, along with the tourists and reporters, stared at the search procedure, either statue-still or grabbing a neighbor''s arm after the fashion of a more dynamically posed statue. The typical Ertith passage was not so much concealed as obstructed, but in either case the workers had at times to remove a part of a wall or displace a compacted pile of trash. That is, the present state was trash, regardless of how useful its various components might have been all those thousands of years back. Then, after each failure, the volume of the ensuing discourse rose. Far from subduing the anticipatory spirit of the onlookers, each setback in their estimation promised a future success.


    While they were mistaken in a theoretical sense, practice obliged. At the far end of what was once a street where children played and adults yelled at them to stop playing and do their chores, all of that presumed, a building which once reached at least two stories (unless the fragment of an upper floor had some other purpose, a shelf for a bizarrely tall person for example) had in one corner a door set flat in the ground. Such a cacophony as was ever heard in the middle of a public debate in Pavvu Omme Os resulted so that Kodol ¡°Pots¡± Hinpabafnoren had to yell when he desired to get a few words from the experts about their feelings at witnessing a momentous discovery which promised to upend the entire field of Ertith studies.


    ¡°There is no such promise. These gentlemen will say that exactly.¡± Nalfenk Migolkir of The Scientifically Minded Gentleman''s Primer did not yell.


    Even that assertion overstated the reaction. Gabdirn glanced at Kodol and turned back to his contemplation of the door without bothering to correct the boisterous reporter. ¡°No adornment on it,¡± he said.


    Odibink at least gave the matter enough attention to say, ¡°Now, these things don''t go in quite that way.¡± That gave Nalfenk the indisputable victory over Kodol, though the consequences consisted of nothing but Kodol''s smile which said that there was no harm in trying and Nalfenk''s which replied there was no purpose either. Every occupation has its schools of thought.


    ¡°I want to talk to Mr. Odibink.¡± The cavern reverted to its silence of millennia. Even disregarding the abilities of the Subjugator class to which Doltandon Yurvitas belonged, the person who ventured as far as the hills outside Ividottlof in order to look at potsherds typically belonged to the conscientious type regardless of how frivolous tourists seemed as a group.


    A consultation followed during which it was concluded that the door once had a handle. Mr. Doltandon had been supplied a set of replica brass handles for just such a scenario in accordance with Mr. Atkosol''s wish that so far as possible the site should closer resemble its initial state after the excavation than before it. In his study in Opstlik, surrounded by contemporary luxury and pondering the latest scholarship, he had developed a theory that to seek the deepest insight into a culture was best treated not as an intellectual subject alone but as a holistic conception which might be aided by recreating the relevant physical environment. Just as his biographer ought to spend an hour in that same study, it behooved the Ertith researcher to see around him what the Ertithans did.


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    Yurvitas attached the handle Odibink declared the closest fit. Kneeling, he called out, ¡°Mr. Reporter, be sure you''re ready to capture for posterity the moment when we find a new passage we''ll need three months to clear.¡± He yanked back among laughter that turned into gasps at the reveal of an unobstructed vertical shaft. All attention went to that and not to the slight smile of Yurvitas, a man unafraid to make a show of things and equipped with enough Panache to carry it off.


    Any ladder placed there was long since removed or disintegrated. That was an anticipated circumstance. A replacement arrived before the ambient excitement diminished even so much as the width of mabonnpaper, and the workers set it in place and handed Doltandon a lantern after he descended a few steps and satisfied himself as to the ladder''s stability. He thereupon announced he was perfectly situated for an interview. That got more laughs.


    The tourists were free to imagine what he saw as he climbed and subsequently crept along the passage at the bottom, stooped but still suffering the scrapes inevitable when traversing a tunnel far less commodious than those produced by modern methods. Did the path branch? Some did at the larger sites. Had he found a chamber already, some underground storehouse or place of worship for the gods of earth and iron? Did the path end in gravel a few feet in? Likely it did, but that result would not disappoint. The Ertithans, much like every other civilization known, did not as a habit dig tunnels without a sure destination.


    Fifteen minutes later, Doltandon Yurvitas shouted up. ¡°Get Mr. Atkosol.¡±


    There were side passages, all of them blocked. The main tunnel by some miracle ran straight and clear to a vertical shaft on the far side, and above that was a complex which the calculations of Taomenk Genarostaf confirmed to be the interior of the Hideout''s grandest ziggurat unless the Ertithans had erected a larger one outside the city circle in contravention of their usual practice.


    The ancient tunnel fell as far short in height, width, and safety as anyone could ask who wanted a tinge of adventure to a large-scale operation backed by an immensely wealthy man and conducted with faultless regularity. Mr. Atkosol, immediately after he reached the far side, decided that he trusted the visiting ladies and gentlemen to brave the path thick with ancient mystery themselves without bonking their heads or rushing forward to rearrange the ziggurat''s contents by way of a prank. He also sent for the scribes and artists he employed to record said contents in exact detail.


    There was a great deal to record. Anyone who took the time to read a single book by Mr. Gabdirn, a relevant article by Mr. Nalfenk, or any of the other myriad writings on the subject knew to expect mosaics, though whether the few fragments which remained in the bulk of cases qualified as a mosaic made for a question liable to start beginners on perplexing journeys through philosophy''s unearthly kingdoms. The most exciting finds to historians, if not to art historians, had as accompaniment some writing as well.


    From such snatches as those along with the occasional inscription on some pillar or doorframe came the label Ertith. Not only did ¡°Ertith¡± appear with the highest frequency of any single word, but the Zeuhyas from the southern continent Dosoroz agreed it sounded most like the name of a country or people out of all the text interpreted to that point. Since nothing but the felicitous discovery of the similarities between Ertithan writing and the Archaic Auzisthuic of their ancestors had enabled any interpretation at all to be done, their authority in the matter was accepted.


    The mosaics there looked at a glance to be more complete than the worst if far from the best. Less expectedly, portions of a wall painting remained. That was found in a chamber with but one exit, a rarity in Ertithan ruins; the typical room communicated with several neighbors through passages a foot or so in length, closer to vestibules than corridors. The paint reached the very corners, indicating the scene had once covered the entire wall. That meant but so much seeing as the chamber''s ceiling extended barely more than one Adaban high. Still, it must have been impressive when intact. As to what it depicted, the experts saw no sense in waiting to argue about it.


    ¡°That figure there in what looks like armor of the most advanced kind.¡± Mr. Odibink was crouching in order that any surprise might not send his head into the ceiling. Being the tallest man in the room sometimes required one to take extraordinary precautions. ¡°The easiest explanation is that it''s ceremonial garb, and that may be true, but what if it''s some kind of safety equipment? We know they had rituals.¡±


    Overhearing that, not that the statement was intended to be secret, Takki asked Dirant, ¡°Ressi, is there something like that you wear when you''re doing your job? I''m sorry, that''s too confined. What I really want to know is, what''s Ritualist safety equipment like?¡±


    ¡°Gloves are advisable when handling certain components.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡±


    That left the ceremonial theory, which Mr. Gabdirn disputed on far different grounds. ¡°Mr. Odibink, I do no insult to say you are too much a Picker. It''s a proud class, but you have oversights. Ertith technology is one thing, but if they do an invitation?¡±


    ¡°An invitation you say, Mr. Gabdirn?¡± The unfamiliar terminology prevented an instinctive refutation.


    ¡°You are such a Picker you think of it as a summoning. What Symbol Knights do. That figure may be a guest.¡±


    At last Odibink and the other listeners understood, and the idea tantalized. Definitive proof at last pointing to the ancient existence of Symbol Knights, that class which summoned (¡°Invites!¡± a Symbol Knight might shout) strange entities unlike monsters but nothing like man (¡°Guests,¡± that same Symbol Knight would surely insist). How many controversies would be settled by the revelation? None, but at the very least ¡°Discovery of the Symbol Knight class¡± could be placed without hesitation before ¡°Ertith existed¡± on the timeline, wherever it was that Ertith went on it. Everyone possessed of an orderly mind appreciates the establishment of a solid terminus ante quem.


    The greater portion of the crowd was prepared to crown Gabdirn the king of the theorists despite his Hewekerisms, but engineer Taomenk Genarostaf had a grumble to make against the proposition. ¡°List the evidence we have for the belief the Ertithans were primitive in their metal-working and realize how much there is. None, that''s how much.¡±


    ¡°Wait, no, it isn''t none,¡± Odibink protested. ¡°The presence of forges capable of producing . . .¡±

 8. A Comparison Of The Dangers Of Sea Travel And Underground Excavation

    Before Consulting This Work, Please Attempt To Avoid Both Altogether


    The dispute lost the interest of the onlookers. They had decided in favor of the Symbolic Hypothesis already and transferred their focus to the element which absorbed Atkosol from the beginning. In addition to the murals of the painted and mosaic varieties, a third leg of that many-limbed creature known as Art waited for inspection, and a fourth or even fifth as well depending on the inclusion criteria. On a tiled floor, each tile marked with notches of unknown significance, sat several statues. The statues made the third leg, the tiles a fourth, and for the fifth some large stones, their tops flattened by artificial means and inscribed with assorted lines, often in grids. Whether those counted as sculpture and, if not, as art, remained to be determined. The idea of game boards had been suggested upon the first discovery of such an item, and so few had been found since that little supported or contradicted the notion.


    The sculptures which were unambiguously such fell within the usual Ertithan style and indeed were excellent examples of the type. The human figures caused present-day critics to question their humanity on account of the unnaturally round heads with simple open circles for mouths as well as their general lack of detail. If they were clothed, nothing about Ertith dress could be concluded; if naked, nothing about anatomy. The animal figures, similarly deformed, were easier to rationalize as monsters.


    While every element in that chamber had its precedent, the number of mostly intact statues, three of the humanesque sort and three of the clearly inhuman along with two of the flattened stones, gave that chamber an eminence sure to impress the readers of The Scientifically Minded Gentleman''s Primer and drive them to extremes of envy of the correspondent honored by fortune, as unscientific a notion as that may have been, with the chance to be present at that startling debut. Mr. Nalfenk did seem to be enjoying himself greatly, nor was he alone.


    Shame therefore attached itself to the visitors who encountered a limit to their fascination with the single chamber despite its unique properties of archaeological importance. One could stand still and admire for only so long, and some had begun to slide toward the exit when Mr. Gabdirn rescued them from embarrassment by declaring nothing more could be concluded on the spot.


    None of the other chambers possessed the concentrated interest of the Statue Garden as it was already called, but to call them worthless was to commit such an insulting falsehood that only the kind of person who called himself ¡°Pots¡± would think to do so, which indeed he did. To the tourists, the most distinct of the other chambers had to be what they promptly named the Archive after its resemblance to the libraries and document collections of the present day.


    Several parallel walls jutted partway into the room, and in each was carved rows of niches. Many of those held papers of that peculiar Ertithan type which frustrated archaeologists by fading to an illegible, blue-tinted condition. Others housed rectangular cases of a sort none of the experts recalled seeing before, nor had the most assiduous studier of The Scientifically Minded Gentleman''s Primer or yet more technical publications read of anything like them. A smattering of small items shoved far back in their niches resisted identification, since the people adhered to their instructions not to touch.


    ¡°Many rituals were performed here.¡± Dirant made that remark after entering without anticipating the reaction his words immediately incited.


    ¡°But Mr. Patklenk examined this chamber before us!¡±


    ¡°Are we in danger? Are the rituals in danger?¡±


    ¡°Will you stand there mute like a guilty politician or tell us the details about them heroically?¡±


    ¡°Ah, it is nothing but lingering energies,¡± Dirant clarified before clarifying further that ¡°lingering energies¡± was a term of art referring to traces of a previously performed ritual and held no power to accomplish anything. While optional abilities existed which allowed their owner to derive information from those energies, he had learned none of them. Likely Mr. Patklenk had. They were more relevant to his field.


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    His assurances, made with all the goodwill of a mostly honest man and the expertise of a graduate of Greater Enloffenkir''s sixth-most-prestigious school of ritualism, immediately encountered a sharp refutation. A sound which resembled that of a cabinet dropped on granite by impatient workers who had neglected to remove the plates and dishes beforehand in their haste startled the Archive''s explorers for a moment only before vigorous shaking shocked them yet more, as if someone had picked up the entire room to right it rather than the cabinet alone. The timid and the quick-witted fell to the floor while the habitually stolid stood or pressed themselves against the nearest wall. Precious artifacts from humanity''s infancy tumbled out of their niches, many of them cracking or crumbling into fragments as a result.


    The tremor ceased after a few seconds. Most of the Archive survived, as did Dirant''s reputation once people stopped glaring at him long enough to consider they had never heard of a Shake a Room Occasionally Ritual.


    ¡°Though perhaps the Yumins have invented one,¡± Dirant said to Takki.


    ¡°It''s almost a given, isn''t it?¡±


    The tourists withstood the ordeal, and for all that bruises were not the medals bestowed by courage itself that scars were, the story of where and how these were inflicted would be a matter of boasting at many a social function afterward.


    Atkosol, Doltandon Yurvitas, and Patklenk Ost ran in to examine the chamber shortly thereafter. The lack of serious injury pleased Atkosol despite his lack of legal or, in his view, moral responsibility for the well-being of the visitors who, after all, had invited themselves and stayed at their own discretion. ¡°Yet the man who denies that an explanation is welcome when the matter at hand is one of general interest, or rather interest that ought to be more general than it is, is the man we must ignore. A statue was lifted. I pause there, for you know the passive voice is a curtain that hides many a crime. Here I use it because the name of the person who lifted it is irrelevant. I commanded it be lifted. My aim was to find further passages, but my accomplishment was to cause this disturbance for which I am heartily sorry.¡± Atkosol bowed in conclusion.


    ¡°That was the most I have heard him say in more than a week here,¡± Dirant told Takki. ¡°It is also the first evidence in that time which supports the claim his former career was as a politician, and a successful one no less. A complete accounting requires that I specify that we have at no time been engaged in conversation with each other, and it is nothing but chance that I sometimes hear him say ''Yes'' or ''No.''¡±


    ¡°He does have a good tempo, doesn''t he?¡±


    No further calamities occurred for the rest of that day, unless the failure to find an entrance to an even larger ziggurat stuffed with statues uglier still counted, which it did not. Everyone from the most academically minded to the least, that being Mr. Kodol, had been given enough material to satisfy him and consequently smiled benevolently over all the world like a textile merchant overseeing the unloading of a cargo from Stegzi.


    Ividottlof, a town in the state of Enpasatosalkir, elected a mayor on a set schedule. He in turn proposed a deputy mayor for the populace to confirm or reject. If anything more need be said about Ividottlof, it was to a foreigner, and not one from Egilof, Tabiligdum, or Beriskirofen, either. Even the theoretical foreigner had no reason to be informed about the details unless he belonged to that category of traveler who enriches his published journals with commentary calculated to increase his reputation as an incisive discerner of social reality. ¡°Where is the Adaban found among these solid dwellings and places of business, one or two stories, of wood and of stone, unexceptional in any land? He is found in the reflection of the street slabs kept clear of debris both artificial and animal and polished beyond necessity, to a mania even. He is found in the mayor''s residence, not because he is there but because he is not. Nothing is. There are open halls on his estate, empty, used for assemblies and sports but really intended to store supplies, hammocks, and every sort of ammunition, for anxiety afflicts the Adaban unless he has ready his fortifications; he will withdraw to them as soon as danger threatens, and what danger that is, how can I imagine it, who am but a Survyai?¡± That sort of thing.


    To which the Adaban replies, ¡°Yes, and that is the reason for our flourishing,¡± and carries on as he was. Dirant Rikelta traveled straight to Siltwo''s house without stopping to peruse travel journals for exchanges such as that. He had at last yielded to the fraternal will, and the welcome he received from Siltwo and his bride, Elsifad Oftansklen, could hardly have been improved. Aside from Siltwo''s effusive friendliness which still unnerved Dirant, the food alone could quench the curiosity of Fennizen''s gossips who were befuddled by the marriage of one of their most desirable sons, a man blessed both cosmetically and financially, to an undistinguished daughter of a town called Paokelp which was invisible on the majority of maps. Silapobant''s siblings never considered there to be a mystery, unless it was how he succeeded in finding a woman shorter than he was. The flagrant injustice they committed against their brother''s moderate height with that claim caused them to persist in it all the more stubbornly.

 9. A Survey Of The Origins Of Every Official Settlement Of No Fewer Than Five Hundred Inhabitants In

    To Begin, We Remind The Reader This Work Is Intended For Reference And Not A Deposit Of Background Material For Serials And Plays


    The situation caused Dirant to recall that writer who said something about the commercial inclination''s being a tyrant which throws down the military but oppresses the domestic. Silapobant had been as business-minded as anyone when in Fennizen''s offices, but stationed abroad, he remembered families do not arrive by the same route as does income.


    ¡°When you think on it, our father started a family and left for the city,¡± he told Dirant.


    ¡°Until now I have not had cause to think on it, but doing so, that is correct.¡±


    ¡°Good. Are you still thinking? We have embarked on the opposite course because of circumstances and nothing else. Let us consider our position a little better.¡±


    ¡°Yes, let us.¡±


    ¡°This is for your good too, Dirtwo.¡±


    Mrs. Silapobant giggled every time either of them used their familial nicknames. ¡°Mr. Dirant, dear, may I say Dirtwo from now on?¡±


    Silapobant, unsure of his brother''s sentiments in the matter, looked to him, who said, ¡°Rather than that, it is mandatory. We did not mention it before because if you chose to defy this law, civic duty would require us to fetch the mayor, and I have never met him.¡±


    ¡°Well, if you meet him in the future, please don''t tell him!¡±


    With that, Siltwo resumed, content with the interaction''s outcome. ¡°Is it better do you think for children to grow up in Fennizen with its high prices such that the most loving parents, supposing they are not always so rich as ours, must at times view them as expenses that perhaps they ought not to have incurred? What about making friends when they are surrounded by business rivalries they often reenact as a sort of play?¡±


    ¡°Does that really happen?¡± Elsifad asked.


    ¡°It does,¡± both brothers confirmed.


    ¡°How dispiriting it all sounds.¡±


    ¡°Perhaps so,¡± Dirant acknowledged. ¡°As to those questions, I am in no way qualified to answer them, and yet I cannot concede a viable alternative exists unless you produce at this moment some clutch of ladies and gentlemen you have reared successfully using better methods. As it is you only condemn the pair of gentlemen here whom the existing system fashioned, and it is hard for me to hear my brother attacked.¡±


    ¡°I don''t think I need say anything more about rearing. With your permission we must move on to the romantic and fanciful in life of which Fennizeners deprive ourselves all unintentionally. Dirtwo, tell us the story of Fennizen''s founding.¡±


    Puzzled, Dirant said, ¡°The river bends there, and from that all happened as expected.¡±


    Siltwo pointed at a spot on the floor. ¡°Pack that up and place it there. The client will pick it up, and he is welcome to the mundane commodity. Let me now tell you the account of Ividottlof''s founding.¡±


    ¡°I permit it. Later I will impress others with my esoteric knowledge and report the results.¡±


    ¡°I desire nothing else than for your success in that. So. I begin with an explanation of its name unless you know it already.¡±


    ¡°Did the inhabitants not give it the name of a god in the hope of attracting benevolent attention, in this case Ivid, also venerated as Liminkleshtfoken because he judges unerringly who is at fault when a contract is breached?¡±


    ¡°Not so, for the truth is that a man named Ividottkolt was minded to establish his household where he might be prosperous.¡±


    ¡°You must play the part in my conception of the scene then.¡±


    Siltwo patted down an errant lock so as to acquire the requisite dignity of appearance. ¡°Indeed so. He begged that very god you brought up with more detail than I expected for guidance, as was the custom in those days.¡± Siltwo chuckled at that. During the delay, Dirant struggled to ward off personal memories of divine guidance. Allowing his equanimity to be disfigured when someone was trying to tell him a story would have been rude.


    He had negotiated the difficulty by the time Siltwo resumed. ¡°He claimed to receive guidance too, though in what form we can only imagine. Or can we imagine it? Whatever it was, it told him that he would know where to settle when he saw the sign which corresponded to his arcane instructions. He traveled about all over the land, where is not recorded, until he saw a vomiting cow. That decided him. ''I must settle away from that to avoid disease. Or there is the idea that what I have seen is a portent of flooding, and therefore I will make that southern hill my home.''¡±


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    ¡°This is no criticism of you, but can this be called a hill?¡± Dirant wondered.


    ¡°The whole region is quite flat, and so by comparison. Dirtwo, was that the single problem you saw in the tale so far, or?¡±


    ¡°Other elements I presume from literary precedent will soon have their resolution, such as whether any flooding occurred. As to the disease, there is always some disease among cattle.¡±


    ¡°You were not always so patient. It is good to see such growth in a brother.¡±


    ¡°Yes, for now you may trust yourself capable of it as well.¡±


    ¡°Ah? Setting that aside, a village grew up around Ividottkolt''s estate. The villagers enjoyed sufficiency if not prosperity. They suffered no diseases or floods. Or, diseases more than the ordinary. You are correct about there always being some. But! What happened next was so widely discussed at the time that we are forced to accept there was some incident, though the details of it are unknowable. Suddenly everyone became deaf. Is that believable? Yet all the journals and letters from the time attest to it. Then they saw strange lights over Cowsick Point. They did not name it so then, but Ividottkolt remarked upon the coincidence of location. The accounts differ there, whether some sort of slanted column of light appeared, or a flash repeated at intervals, or what one witness described as ''a red circle in a blue circle,'' whatever we may take from that. Fennizen has nothing like that in its past.¡±


    ¡°That may be a recommendation rather than a criticism.¡± His flippant remark notwithstanding, the story did impress Dirant. ¡°Siltwo, where is Cowsick Point in relation to Iflarent''s Hideout? Might the ruins extend so far, below of course?¡±


    The question arrested Silapobant in his dash toward more advantages of towns over cities and made him ponder. ¡°Can it? Or . . . No, what am I thinking? There is no possibility of that. I have read that the largest Ertith city is estimated to spread over something on the order of two square miles, impressive for ancient times, but nothing near the distance required. But let us not give up. An outlying village may have been buried underneath there.¡±


    ¡°The two following questions are whether lost Ertithan techniques are responsible for the uncanny event and whether we can persuade Mr. Atkosol Tellanstal there is evidence of anything there worth excavating. Ah, but should that wait upon the exhaustion of the main site, or?¡±


    A devotee of those exploratory sciences sculpted over decades from the stuff of human ingenuity in order to fulfill the noblest goal ever formed by man, that of achieving perfect understanding of the true and total rejection of the false, would have wept to hear the use those two intended to make of archaeology. If confirmation was required of the disfiguring effects of an upbringing in money-mad Fennizen, it was there. A devotee of the practice of realizing swift profits on the other hand would have recommended they swipe those sculptures, chip the painted part of the wall off, and unload them to collectors instead of bothering with tentative plans for long-term logistical support.


    With the understanding between them that any attempt to convince Mr. Atkosol to widen his efforts would have to be laundered through the broadsheets until Stadeskosken started up its archaeological division, Dirant at last rose to take his leave. That meant he would stay for no more than twenty more minutes, just enough time for his brother to elaborate further on the pleasures of smaller communities.


    ¡°It is not so isolated as you may think from the culture and pleasures of the larger world. Can you believe that Shtaugirs is in this town at this moment?¡±


    ¡°Although he is a man familiar to you if I judge from the lack of a title, I am entirely ignorant of, ah, I am wrong. Is he that renowned confectioner, or?¡±


    ¡°Dirtwo, you must learn these things for the sake of future romantic endeavors. Yes, that is the man, and someday the influence of his handpicked samplers in tasteful tins, each of them unique, will force itself upon you. Of course he has his company which produces standard types, higher quality than most, but they are no substitute. Unfortunately, he resides in any one place for a short time before moving on after he has filled all the commissions he chooses to take, and double the misfortune, he chose them all before I was able to reach him. People have attempted to pay him double or triple the price to move up his list, but he will take his eighteen miskhanenar and nothing more.¡±


    Not only equanimity but any pretense of it departed Dirant. ¡°Eighteen miskhanenar! Are the samplers equal in weight to the customer, or?¡±


    ¡°Were they not so expensive, their effect would be slighter. That is one example only of what it may harm you not to know.¡±


    An odd example, Dirant thought after his departure, but it was the one at hand. Circumstance has its own force, after all. For instance, suppose he saw Kodol ¡°Pots¡± Hinpabafnoren there in Ividottlof, squatting under an open window with a notebook in hand? Obviously he would have avoided the situation entirely while thanking long-chanting Holzd for holding open the class of Ritualist for him instead of some occupation which attracted the attention of people such as that. Dirant had never heard that Holzd himself chanted, but his Ritualists did, and surely an epithet belonging to the priest might be transferred to the god provided there was nothing demeaning in it.


    The reporter he did see was Mr. Nalfenk Migolkir. Far from engaging in any surreptitious activity, he was at an intersection in full view from five separate directions talking to several people and maintaining an attitude of courteous sophistication all the while. Nor did he or any of his associates lower their voices furtively or else raise them raucously like men who refuse to consider the effect of their actions. Dirant therefore passed them just as did any number of untroubled pedestrians and overheard portions of a conversation which interested him.


    ¡°The hotel, it''s worried it kept a room for him for no reason.¡± That was in the local speech which invariably sounded to a Kitslofer as if the speaker were in such a hurry that he sometimes stumbled. It reminded outsiders favorably of younger brothers, newer students, and junior employees, suggesting as it did an eagerness which the more experienced at times regretted losing.


    ¡°Is there any possibility he put up in a different hotel instead?¡± There was Nalfenk, who spoke just as quickly, and yet because of his impeccable enunciation sounded relaxed and imperturbable.


    His conversation partners shook their heads. ¡°These places talk about these things. They''d hear that and think, I don''t know, some kind of trick? Or? He''s not putting up anywhere in town, that''s all.¡±

 10. To Leap Across The Waves

    Seeing As The Waves Themselves Leap, To Behave Otherwise Would Be A Discourtesy


    While Dirant had no reason to believe they were speaking of Medant, the actual person under discussion may have encountered the same obstacle in reaching Ividottlof, whatever that was. The similarity of cases roused Dirant to risk discourtesy. ¡°Pardon me,¡± he said. ¡°Our meeting is a blessing for me. My name is Dirant Rikelta. Necessity urges that I ask if any of you gentlemen have heard of a man named Medant Denmarof. He indicated an intention to come to this town some time ago, and nothing has been heard of him since said indication.¡±


    Nalfenk looked him over before responding. ¡°I will pass over the pretext. Mr. Hwohyesu has not arrived on schedule and is consequently unavailable for the interview I hoped to conduct before Mr. Atkosol had his opportunity to affect his opinion. I do not know how it is that you learned of the situation, and I cannot blame you for conceiving the same plan. I might wish you applied your reportorial instincts to better uses than perhaps you do. Good day, Mr. Dirant.¡±


    Dirant hoped the surprise in his voice came across as authentic, because it was. If an actor was rated as poor who failed to express emotions he did not himself feel, what must be said about the layman who fell short regarding those he did? ¡°It is because of my own absence of tact I am sure that there has been a failure in our conversation. Ignorance is my accustomed state and persists with regard to both Mr. Hwohyesu and reporting. While it is undeniable that I approached you gentleman with a certain purpose in mind, it was to learn if there is some known cause of disappearances in this area.¡±


    Nalfenk''s snort had a gentlemanly timbre, but a snort it nevertheless was. ¡°I wish for your good fortune if I am wrong. Be assured I will explore the point when my responsibilities permit.¡±


    With that, Dirant considered himself dismissed, probably insulted, and definitely puzzled. More than that, he regretted the failure to uncover any information about the possible Hwohyesu disappearance case.


    ¡°Which is what I intend to investigate now.¡±


    ¡°Ressi, that''s far superior to what I was planning to do, which was really spinning the mountains a blanket.¡± After concluding there were no bandits or pit traps stuffed with wandering mercenaries in the vicinity, Takki had resolved to repair to Ividottlof until she heard Dirant''s account of what transpired there.


    ¡°Is that a saying, or?¡± Dirant asked.


    ¡°Yes. What do you think it means?¡±


    ¡°Perhaps it signifies being assigned busywork of no real economic benefit.¡±


    ¡°I guess it does mean that if I say it to an Adaban, but back home it''s something that isn''t any good until you''ve finished, but you won''t ever be finished.¡±


    Dirant did not feel chastened at the correction. ¡°What is the good when it is finished?¡±


    ¡°Propitiating the mountain spirits. Don''t forget it''s an old saying.¡±


    With all those doubts resolved, Dirant and Takki embarked on a campaign of inquiries around the camp. From them many learned about the projected arrival of Hwohyesu, a name recognized more often than they expected. He was yet another enthusiast for Ertith history who had indulged his hobby enough to gain a reputation in it. On top of that, he belonged to the country of Zeuhyac on the southern continent, a fact which added a gravity to his opinions which the strictly logical might dispute but never entirely overcome. Not everything he published in the field came into Adaban, much of it letters in journals responding to some other writer, but the interested GE citizen was aware of his stance on the controversy over which way went the relationship between Ertithan and Archaic Auzisthuic. That is, Hwohyesu argued Ertith was a colony of the Dosoroz Auzisthus who were the ancestors of the Zeuhyas while others held the reverse opinion. Other possible arrangements had been proposed of course.


    Aside from the man''s reputation, a small slice of the camp had heard rumors which alleged he had declared an interest in visiting Iflarent''s Hideout, and a set tinier still claimed to have had sure knowledge of the entire thing. Mr. Atkosol did not of course submit himself to questioning (Takki made the attempt while Dirant hid on the other side of the camp). Nobody had a word to say about Hwohyesu''s failure to appear other than a remark about the vicissitudes of trans-continental travel, not even upon Nalfenk''s return late in the evening when he confirmed Mr. Hwohyesu''s absence for the entire day, barring an entrance just before midnight. Certainly some discussion arose as a diversion from the constant talk about the excavation itself, a sheepdog next to sheep as it were, but there was no reason to linger on the topic or become alarmed.


    This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.


    Until the next day when a delivery came in. Questioned by the company Ritualist stationed there regarding Medant Denmarof or Hwohyesu, descriptions given of course, one of the Stadeskosken deliverymen, Intlapol Galatlinmarekaf, related the lively conversation he had with Mr. Hwohyesu, a most amiable traveler who rode alongside his wagon for some distance.


    ¡°I feel a very expert on Ertith after what he told me about it. He parted from us before we reached town. The reason he gave for that was he wanted to check on something outside first. The research he had done had this chance in it that something could be determined about the true extent of the site including facilities outside the city limits. You''d have to promote me to make me as gleeful as he seemed to be then. Nothing could be surer that he would get to town before night. You say he has not? I am worried for the fellow now.¡± Not worried enough to ignore his job, proving how much he wanted that promotion, but Intlapol did frown for his traveling friend.


    That news Dirant regarded as the communal property of all mankind and therefore something he should rush to tell Mr. Atkosol first in order that Stadeskosken''s diligent employees should profit before the thing was ruined as communal property so often is. He wrote a letter, the best way to communicate officially even within a tiny outpost such as that, and then a second to Siltwo which recommended that he keep watch for Hwohyesu in Ividottlof as a matter likely to be considered important by their client. ¡°Also I must ask that you repeat your last name, Mr. Intlapol, since asserting ''an employee gave me this information'' is likely to reduce its credibility on account of unmerited vagueness.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Mr. Dirant.¡±


    Dirant handed the first letter off to Mr. Onhavant, the hand scheduled to be free soonest, and the second to Mr. Intlapol himself, who would be returning soon to Ividottlof. He then set about the necessary Revocation of the Preservation Ritual with as much dispatch as the circumstances allowed, which was a great amount given that it was a Stadeskosken delivery. That done, he relied on his authority as Itinerant Ritualist to declare himself done for the day, took back the letter he had given to Mr. Onhavant, and went to deliver it himself.


    Lommad Okliten accepted it at the house, perhaps the sole building in the camp which deserved the term. If Mr. Atkosol had servants, they were likely digging. ¡°Thank you, young man,¡± she said. ¡°Is this something which must be brought to my husband''s attention immediately?¡±


    ¡°There is no such rush as that, Mrs. Atkosol,¡± he said, bowing.


    ¡°Good, good.¡± She turned toward the interior and shouted, ¡°Atkadi, there''s a letter for you, but it isn''t urgent!¡±


    ¡°Ah, so a novelty.¡± Atkosol''s voice had a wry note which so far Dirant had not heard from him, doubtless something reserved for private circumstances or else speeches intended to condemn rather than inspire or excuse.


    Having no desire to exploit the situation in order to speak to Mr. Atkosol, Dirant retreated right into an ambushing force of reporters. They wanted to know the deeper significance behind his message, and after thinking it over, he decided he might as well tell them. The primacy of Stadeskosken in delivering information as well as goods had already been established, and what remained was to employ whatever resources were at hand to find the missing Zeuhyacan expert and Fennizener mercenary. He therefore related the testimony along with his own conjecture that the location Mr. Hwohyesu wished to inspect must be Cowsick Point unless anyone knew another place near Ividottlof which held the slightest interest to people outside the farming and ranching industries.


    ¡°That list already has double the items I''d put in it,¡± Kodol Hinpabafnoren said. ¡°I thought cows were sick all the time. The headline for the animal section is always about some murrain or other.¡±


    ¡°Mr. Kodol, I believe Mr. Dirant is making reference to the phenomenon of Cowsick Point.¡± Aptezor Ristaofen said that fully aware his fellow reporters had researched the region''s history sufficiently to understand the point without elaboration. Awareness has its shortcomings. In fact Baozir Nalna alone recognized the reference, and she was too busy writing down a description of Lommad''s briefly glimpsed outfit to care.


    ¡°That''s a locally famous story,¡± Aptezor elaborated when pressed.


    ¡°I confess my admiration for the care you have taken in collecting information,¡± Nalfenk Migolkir commended his younger colleague. ¡°Lose that, and you may be embarrassed by an amateur who contributes articles to publications which are habitually incautious with facts.¡±


    That comment''s point, if it had one, missed its target, for nobody understood the reference or allowed it to interfere with the lecture about the mysterious incident Aptezor''s colleagues forced him to deliver. Dirant meanwhile sought another audience, starting with Takki and encompassing as many people as possible who might be interested in a short expedition to Cowsick Point or anywhere else they might think to propose.

 11. A Discourse On Tradition

    We Must Distinguish Between Vital, Ongoing Traditions And Mere Survivals


    A party promptly formed. Two reporters decided to go, Mr. Aptezor and Miss Bodder, whose personal name turned out to be Erzrasprej, a name unimaginable to Adabans outside of a comedy routine and a definite incentive for them to stick to ¡°Miss Bodder.¡± The others either ignored the Hwohyesu question as Miss Baozir did or pursued their own ideas.


    Taomenk Genarostaf and Gabdirn Haubentlag joined also, the former from an intellectual motive and the latter owing to frustration with Odibink Sharazilk and those theories he advanced with such an irritating combination of anxiety and stubbornness like a puppy which snatches food off the table and retreats under the couch before a word is raised against it. Most surprisingly, Doltandon Yurvitas took some of the leave owed him for the purpose. As to his motives, he offered none, and neither did such seem required; internal processes alone forced Mr. Gabdirn to express his displeasure.


    Cowsick Point, as might be expected of such a prominent landmark in local history, showed up on every map purchasable in Ividottlof and those in camp by extension. Gabdirn agreed with Silapobant and possibly Hwohyesu that a location so far out could not possibly be grouped with Iflarent''s Hideout as a single site but that the existence of an auxiliary site might be considered. Unlike in the case of Silapobant, someone less learned in Ertithan studies, Gabdirn''s conjectures did not begin or end at a village but included such possibilities as a fortress, a tomb, a royal storehouse (the existence of royalty or any details of Ertithan government had not been convincingly established), or a refuse dump where items of a magical nature were discarded in accordance with methods doubtless considered improper today.


    Those ideas sounded sensible, but Taomenk held different opinions. ¡°Mr. Gabdirn bases his ideas on what he would do,¡± he related as he tramped along to Dirant, whose company he preferred because of the kinship he felt with Ritualists, a class of ¡°specialist engineers¡± as he put it. ¡°Admittedly, what he would do is worth thinking about. He has logic and sense to him. The best logic though has to proceed from premises. You have to get the premises right or it''s nonsense. The basis of everything is physical reality. Don''t think about what the ancients wanted to build, but what they could build and what they had to.¡±


    ¡°It is a matter of the woods and metals available and such then?¡±


    ¡°It is. This area is good for exactly nothing right now. First, wonder if it was different then.¡± Taomenk followed that with a discourse on weather patterns, erosion, mountain formation, and the properties of the great plain which constituted most of the state, some of which Dirant followed, and all accompanied by knowing nods and demonstrative gestures. He concluded with his surmise that Cowsick Point and its environs for a good distance likely had been underwater at the period when the ruins of Iflarent''s Hideout lacked the quality of being ruined.


    ¡°In that situation we must discard most of our ideas to this point and all of Mr. Gabdirn''s,¡± Dirant acknowledged in response to the convincing force of the argument. ¡°With what do we replace them?¡±


    ¡°That is never so easy, but I let myself dig the ground, and so I must continue. Did you know that every Ertith site before now was landlocked? We know nothing about their naval capabilities. I begged for this job when I worked out that the Hideout must be the first port ever discovered. Begged for it, Mr. Dirant, and Mr. Atkosol took me on. A great man. My best guess right now is that the Ertithans were able to work submerged for no more than two hours at a time, but evidence found here might overturn that.¡±


    ¡°No more than two hours?¡± Dirant hoped he did not sound as startled as he was.


    ¡°I admit that is a conservative estimate, but I stand by it as most consistent with the evidence. That''s about how long it would take the average swimmer to get through the longest lower passages found, and if we give Ertithans the advantage in swimming over humans as I think we must.¡± Taomenk shrugged.


    For all the speed Dirant had applied to reading up on the topic from his desire to have a firm foundation of Ertith knowledge before he traveled to Ividottlof, missing a fact as momentous as the inhumanity of the ancient Ertithans seemed impossible. Yet Taomenk spoke with equal confidence as before, and as much eloquence as well. Perhaps Dirant had simply overlooked something, as he had all those times when teachers corrected his shallow understanding of a work of literature. The obstacle to accepting that as an explanation was how often the corrections came when he repeated what an earlier teacher had said. ¡°The passages were filled with water formerly? Were they not used for storage and as catacombs?¡±


    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    ¡°They had to be. They all slant slightly, so little that only with instruments can it be detected. The reason for that is to influence the water flow. The same is true inside each ziggurat. The floor comes to a mound in the center. They poured water and oils there, let the mixture spread over the floor, and made use of the lubricated floor to move stones around easier. Every ziggurat without exception started as a bump. Then they drained more water down the shaft and filled it up. Otherwise papers would be down there. Our most essential archives use underground storage, but the Ertithans were too stupid to think of it? Ridiculous. No papers, no fragile vessels, no fragrant oils, nothing that dislikes water''s touch has ever been found below ground. And it never will.¡±


    Dirant peeked to see if anyone else was listening. He wanted to consult someone on these topics, since he had the sense he ought to be objecting yet no grounds for doing so, since his expertise with regard to Taomenk''s latest claims ended at slipping on a wet floor once. Further, from a philosophical standpoint, someone who believed wholeheartedly that gods bequeathed class abilities on humans and made them all their priests bore an obligation to refrain from dismissing claims contrary to modern conceptions.


    <blockquote>


    +1 bonus to Tit-for-Tat gained.


    </blockquote>


    There was support for his stance, though a good deal of argument existed over the possibility one might possess too much of that stat. The Tit-for-Tat controversy notwithstanding, nobody less burdened by reciprocal feeling looked to be available for consultation, since most attention was on Mr. Gabdirn''s presumably more orthodox speech or on the countryside, unexceptional as it was. Thus isolated, Dirant decided to embrace the conversation. ¡°Regarding the humanity or otherwise of the Ertithans . . .¡±


    Taomenk nodded. ¡°It''s that mischievous presumption which stops us from getting at the truth. Not one in a hundred questions it, and I''ll allow I was one of the ninety-nine for too long a time. Think of it, Mr. Dirant. Ponder. Run over all the evidence we have that they were humans who designed these settlements completely unlike what humans made before or since. Are you done yet? You are, because there is none.¡±


    Dirant considered the dimensions of the ruins he had entered himself and began to reply, but Taomenk continued once he was satisfied that Dirant had indeed run over the evidence. ¡°Their statues are amusingly crude. We found them inside edifices no one could reproduce for centuries, and those placed in urban layouts we only recently have started to surpass, in Drastlif you know, but never mind that. They are rough facsimiles of men and women who have always existed as they do today. Suppose any one of those premises isn''t so. Now the better explanation is that the Ertithans in their evident superiority of intellect, constrained though it was by material conditions, produced accurate depictions of the human body as it was then before the Ertithans finished their work on the new type of life they crafted to possess every advantage it needed to survive the coming apocalypse, the signs of which can be seen in layers of exposed sediment. Be careful. Once you realize it, you might think all the intellectuals are fools. Admittedly, I did, but now I know they''re too frightened by the signs of the next disaster to face it. It''s a shame that we don''t have the courage our creators did, Mr. Dirant. An outrageous shame.¡±


    As crucial as Dirant considered efforts to find out more about any future calamities in order that he might move his belongings to a vault, a nice thick one, a significant development forced him to break off. ¡°That may be the marker,¡± he observed, and it was so. An orange-white rock which projected from the ground up to a bit past his knee had been polished on its various sides. It approached an obelisk in form, and as for the discrepancies, either Ividottkolt had erected it after improving it as far as he could with rude skill or later hands wished to suggest such a scenario. It had no cow-like characteristics, proving a local preference for non-representational art. Dirant recalled no men, beasts, or lifeless oaks in bronze or marble from his trips through town, though he had passed through a small part of it and could conclude nothing therefrom.


    That uncertainty combined with his brother''s exhortations to awaken in him a doubt as to whether he was giving sufficient consideration to his surroundings as a matter of habit. For instance, if he saw a simple landmark such as that without knowing its history, he might have ignored it as irrelevant to his present business. And been right, but business often changes. He dreaded to think what the author of I Was a Captain-Inspector for Thirty Years, a book which he had managed to complete but had not yet fully comprehended, would say about his negligence were he alive and told of it, both prerequisites unlikely to be satisfied.


    More ashamed of his deficiency of observation than his failure to anticipate the upcoming cataclysm, Dirant applied his senses to the scene. There was a notable absence of a little tent with a cooking fire beside it to prepare Mr. Hwohyesu''s lunch while he set himself to digging, a spade in hand and fervor in his history-loving heart. He had also neglected to leave a note to inform clusters of reporters, engineers, Ritualists, and travelers where he had gone and what discoveries he had made, which revealed him to be an exceedingly inconsiderate expert on Ertith-related subjects, the victim of a sudden imposition, or never there at all.

 12. Concerning Unpredictable Travel

    It Will Not Be Addressed In Any Depth In This Work For The Reason That It Is Unpredictable


    The members of the search party all looked down at the plain in the hope that their need sufficed to convert them into accomplished trackers able to reconstruct any event from some boot prints and crooked grass. The lack of grass around the marker was a hindrance, not just to their tracking ambitions but to the townsfolk''s economic aspirations.


    The participant closest to the desired skill set, monster-hunting Battler Millim Takki Atsa, began to move around while maintaining her downward scrutiny. Suspecting imminent results, the others followed as she walked a path presumably informed by evidence. Soon they realized her path described a spiral with the marker at its center; when she approached close enough to touch it, she straightened up and spoke.


    What she said, Dirant did not hear. He almost accepted the idea she was engaging in some manner of Pavvu Omme Os performance in which she merely pretended to speak before he realized he heard nothing at all, whether anyone''s speech or his own footsteps. The others experienced the same phenomenon, to judge by the way they craned and tilted their heads. Taomenk tapped his ear and frowned even harder while Miss Bodder removed her cap in order to test the bell attached to it.


    That sight amused Dirant enough that he did not succumb to the panic which inexorably pressed upon him. Instead he looked upwards for visual aberrations such as the old Ividottlofers described. Doltandon Yurvitas and Aptezor shared his idea while others decided to approach their fellows and scream at them, hoping the problem to be one of volume rather than simple capability. The group as a whole clustered around the marker, and then it was elsewhere.


    ¡°Mr. Dirant, the public will want a businesslike opinion of this unusual landscape accessible from Cowsick Point. Do you foresee success in efforts to exploit the natural resources here?¡±


    ¡°The more promising prospect is a retreat for the wealthy of much the same character as the prosperous town known as Asajvridz in Yean Defiafi. Consider the advantages offered by the difficulty in entering as far as controlling who comes and goes. We ourselves are unsure how we arrived. Furthermore, we are now the owners according to my understanding of the applicable laws. For that reason, you may wish to consider carefully what you report.¡±


    ¡°Your candor is very refreshing and mercantile. What sort of person do you hope to attract to this contemplated resort?¡±


    ¡°Artists who do not rely on their artistic output for their sustenance will enjoy their months of relaxed study of a world unlike the familiar. The uncanny terrain is superb for training the painter to take the minutest notice of the subtleties of light and shadow.¡±


    ¡°Students of geology would learn more from it,¡± Taomenk argued.


    ¡°How much money do they have?¡±


    Pecuniary considerations aside, the bizarre place the search party had found, to add an element of volition absent in the actual event, had something to interest innumerable categories of people. Layers of dirt, clay, mud, iron, sandstone, limestone, and more all lay exposed side by side in stripes as if the horizontal had become exhausted and asked a vertical slice of the world to takes its place for a shift. The clouds hung low enough that an Adaban of ordinary size might stretch up and reach them, an act which none of the qualified gentlemen had so far dared. Stranger still, while Dirant lacked the terminology to classify clouds, they certainly did not belong in any sky together. One presaged a storm while the next doubtless tired from the many people who looked up on a placid day and compared it to various animals.


    What made a thorough inspection of the clouds easy was their total immobility. Speaking more generally, nothing moved except for the searchers. No flora or fauna existed and no rushing creeks either. Most to be regretted, no construction crew was earning its wages by erecting palatial residences, the limits of construction marked off and signs posted to indicate the way back to Cowsick Point as a subtle hint to unwitting trespassers. As it stood, all around them was a surreal scene barren of cheer.


    ¡°My thanks for the comedy you two did to distract us,¡± Mr. Gabdirn said, perhaps aware that only one of the two between Dirant and Aptezor bore that intention. ¡°It made thinking easier. I have a little trepidation to advance this theory, though. Whew. All right. We may be where the guests are before the invitations.¡±


    Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.


    That statement stunned his fellows, some because of the implications and others because their superficial knowledge of Symbol Knights prevented them from understanding what he meant. Fortunately, Miss Bodder acted to clarify the issue by asking if she was correct in thinking that to be the term Adabans used for guests (which in that case was the Dvanj word for it). Convoluted as the situation briefly became, Gabdirn turned it into an opportunity to explain a few of the details of the Symbol Knight in lucid terms, he being a member of that class and therefore no secondary source.


    With the jargon established, Miss Bodder asked, ¡°So then, why do you think so, Mr. Gabdirn?¡±


    ¡°When we felt the disappearance I thought I saw the parting. I can''t be sure. Guests usually make to linger no more than a second when we show them the door, unlike the wife''s relations. Heh. Oh, and the parting is the moment guests do their leaving. There is further this sense of familiarity that . . . Ah! A new ability!¡± Gabdirn paused a moment to interrogate his status. ¡°Symbolic Recognition. The bearer can tell where he is between the mundane world and the guest world. There is confirmation. We are in the guest world.¡±


    Each of his hearers had to ask himself how much gratitude he felt to be present at a historic discovery which surpassed anything that might be accomplished at Iflarent''s Hideout short of a coffin which contained an Ertithan who had fallen asleep and missed the last few thousand years. Ancient ziggurats could be and had been found in many places, but if any other spot communicated with the mysterious realm of the guests, nobody had reported on it. Pondering the possible reasons for such a failure dampened the aforementioned gratitude in most cases.


    Practical decision-making of course relied on factors other than gratitude and in fact attempted to excise it altogether. Noted engineer Taomenk managed exactly that. ¡°Mr. Gabdirn. Can this ''inviting'' as you call it pull us out of this world?


    ¡°It cannot.¡± Gabdirn hesitated. ¡°This should be unimportant, but after the fashion of the man who is never wrong, I will do an emendation. Each guest has its invitation and none for man or woman is known. To date.¡±


    ¡°Ah, then it cannot be done.¡± Taomenk nodded. ¡°Until you create that invitation right here. Consider the fame you will get from it with these reporters present.¡±


    The additional incentive meant as much to Mr. Gabdirn as did a second chair to a sitting man. He had a dagger out and was scratching away at the ground before Mr. Taomenk proposed the idea, and none could say who was the more enthusiastic between the two of them. ¡°This is not an invitation,¡± Gabdirn clarified. ¡°Not yet. I did read multiple old attempts to make this exactly and will try to remember them.¡±


    ¡°That scratching reminds me of, no, I shouldn''t say.¡± Takki cut off her observation which was therefore lost for all time, unless Dirant was correct in his suspicion that it reminded her of his own activities. He further conjectured she wanted to ask if he knew any helpful rituals but desisted upon realizing the answer might be an embarrassing no.


    The actual answer was yes. ¡°A Memory Fortification Ritual exists,¡± he announced. ¡°It is highly unreliable. I will refrain from charging a fee in the event it is ineffective.¡± Taomenk clapped him on the back in recognition of a fellow problem-solver, and the engineer was not mistaken in his judgment. The opportunity was there for the ritual to solve two problems, the first being Mr. Gabdirn''s porous memory and the second being the distinct if unstated lack of respect for the Ritualist on the part of his companions. Ritual Flair, Dirant''s recently acquired optional class ability, caused any ritual he performed to impress all onlookers in proportion to the performer''s Receptivity. If they never escaped that alien land, at least they could think highly of one another.


    As for the components, Dirant''s Ritual Substitution ability informed him sandstone made a good replacement for the quartz he needed. He extracted a spade from his rucksack and, tool in hand, began his personal mining operation with a dirt section in the hope of digging around a sandstone strip and popping it out. That seemed easier to him than breaking it apart directly.


    Five inches down, he encountered a problem. His spade broke through the dirt and opened up a hole in, so far as what he could determine without expert advice, reality. Through the gap he saw nothing, but it was a solid sort of nothing with a quality of imperceptibility rather than a simple absence of remarkable characteristics. That was the impression he had from his brief examination, at least. His eyes watered and his head began to ache, causing him to turn away after less than a minute.


    ¡°There is an oddity here,¡± he yelled to the others in a voice excessive in both volume and trembling. ¡°I struggle to explain, and neither do I recommend you look at it. Above everything else, please refrain from digging.¡±


    ¡°But I already did digging of a kind,¡± Gabdirn observed with some regret after hearing Dirant''s anxious tone. He stood up, and there in front of his face thrust up a blade of metal wider than he was, and taller, too. He jerked back, someone screamed, and the enormous blade swept through the ground''s strange striations without stopping. Not even for iron did it make an exception.


    At the edges of the gash the gigantic weapon made, materials began to fall into the uncanny substrate beneath, widening the slit into a chasm. Taomenk dropped on top of some iron and tried to grab on, Takki attempted to plant her halberd to steady herself, Doltandon Yurvitas yelled at whatever guest wielded the sundering blade to stop, and Aptezor fell with a befuddled look. Dirant, for his part, prayed.


    ¡°Sound-footed Holzd, please help.¡± That was about all he estimated he had the time to mutter, but in fact he had less than that.

 13. The Explorers Lament

    Need Yesterday''s Explorers Have Explored So Well, And What Is There Left In This Mapped And Measured World?


    When Dirant reviewed the next area, he judged it less amenable to development than the guest world for the respectable reason than it had already been developed. Though disappointed in that regard, he said, ¡°The very existence of a next area is a cause for thankfulness,¡± and the fact he was able to speak and to hear himself consoled him all the more. Gathering and comprehending those impressions did not happen instantly; upon completing the process, he thanked any gods who happened to be listening even if they had not helped him on the grounds that he hoped they would in the future.


    All that was done while collapsed on the floor. He stood, an operation which tasked him less than he feared, and surveyed the walls, without which the ceiling so long the object of his scrutiny had little excuse for its presence. Those two features combined with the floor to define a room. Another comfort, to be inside so sensible a composition of architectural elements.


    The room''s dimensions resembled those of the Ertith chambers in the great ziggurat at Iflarent''s Hideout, but its decorative character differed entirely. Rather than painted scenes or fragments placed adjacently to create a composite, reliefs decorated the walls much as they did many a towering building in Dittsen except on the inside. They depicted people; any analysis more detailed than that waited upon an academic who had cultivated the appropriate faculties and knew of a publication in need of submissions.


    In place of the Archive''s niches, shelves attached to one wall held papers, and not the faded blue sort. ¡°This is an unfamiliar alphabet,¡± Dirant said. Thought alone would have sufficed, but he continued to derive reassurance from verbal expression. ¡°Nevertheless the writing appears legible. Paperwork has its own dignity, to alter the quotation, and since I am capable of literary allusion I must be fully recovered. This relief also is more understandable than I first believed. Are these not the detailed humans whose reluctance to appear in Ertith''s art permits inventive speculation? Here is a child entering a house while three people crouch under a table made unusually tall to accommodate the scale of the figures involved. Certainly that is a fairy story my mother told me.¡±


    ¡°I concluded the same, Mr. Dirant.¡± That agreement added to Dirant''s relief for two reasons. First, that Taomenk Genarostaf was safe, and second, that someone agreed with him. The nature of the present situation (one would not risk censure to call it a predicament) prepared Dirant to learn that every person who plummeted from the guest world perceived his surroundings in a unique way according to the dreadful crimes of his past. Several tragedies reduced their immoral protagonists to such a state, and he was not sorry to avoid the role.


    Taomenk continued. ¡°I have concluded not a single other thing so far. Evidence is what''s needed. Have you come across anyone else, or? You are the first I have seen. A better companion I could not ask for, but you understand.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Mr. Taomenk. So much do I understand that I propose to seek our companions forthwith.¡± For all that it would have been more precise to speak of them as former companions, Dirant refused to do so, and neither did the other correct him.


    The two men commenced a search for people rather than the meaning of the reliefs, and the person who questions the need even to mention that has perhaps not met a certain type of academic. The results argued for emulating that type, since at the end of their search they had no third person and no deepened understanding of the pictorial evidence, a total waste.


    They did gather additional material for a list of compiled differences between those chambers and the Ertith ones they half resembled. The spiral staircases, for example, belonged to a far more advanced era and taste. The couches and their pillows stuffed with the down of birds which, so far as those two could determine with their limited ornithological expertise, did not exist, added to the exotic flair.


    Dirant summarized the findings. ¡°It is important that I remember the lesson which states something new to me is not therefore new. Saying that, a lively trade in these turquoise-feathered birds must be carried on if they are present in Egillen. They do not, it does not, and this place is unlike the continent we know.¡±


    ¡°It''s time to go up,¡± Taomenk responded.


    His comment would have seemed a non-sequitur to anyone unfamiliar with another of that complex''s divergences from Ertithan practice. The explorers had come across no horizontal exits or underground passages, but only a staircase reaching toward the sky which had not even a slab to cover the top. The blue rectangle visible from below promised egress and adventure, but the prospect of crossing the line between building and outdoors worried them as it never did at home. As Taomenk implied, however, there was nowhere else to go.


    Stolen novel; please report.


    ¡°Youthful enthusiasm demands I climb first.¡± Dirant started up the stairs, reflecting that he perhaps had told a trifling lie. His authentic motivation relied on his conclusion that if one of them stuck his head up and suffered decapitation immediately thereafter, Taomenk probably had greater skill in reattaching parts to their frames than he did. Ommes referred to such a situation as ¡°a tall cliff or a taller cliff,¡± he believed, while for his part, he would rather struggle to swallow the entire Onbehemmiror River than the Ontoffemmiror if forced to choose.


    His head, still intact when it poked above the staircase, reasoned that though unanticipated danger might still exist, that was always and everywhere true; he perceived no greater cause for anxiety there than on any other roof. ¡°The view is broad and so far safe,¡± Dirant called down, and soon he and Taomenk both looked over a scene which had the power to incite wonder in lovers of novelty and despair in the advocate of maintaining a consistent aesthetic across a single object.


    That object might be as small as a portrait or as large as a city as it was in this case. From the highest point of a ziggurat, as they at last could prove it was after merely suspecting it before, the observer could see ahead and behind imposing masses similar to the Drastlif type of temple. To the right sprawled a single-story palace the walls of which enclosed a dozen courtyards, each governed by a majestic fruit tree, while to the left uneven stones piled thick and high surrounded a hall which represented the earliest stage of social organization according to lectures Dirant had attended. Ommes sometimes recreated them in their modern architecture from a nostalgic impulse. Huts of packed clay resembling the best efforts of ancient, non-Ertith settlements dotted the spaces between more impressive structures, and the unpretentious thatched houses alongside them looked as grand in comparison as one''s handsomer brother at a family meeting.


    Like any productive community, the jumbled city contained structures intended for economic purposes. There was a well suitable for a local legend about some ancient king who threw down his spear where the gods directed and saved his people with the water that sprung forth, and the mill looked to require a line of brawny men for its operation. A whip for the overseer''s use was draped over a convenient peg. Some obviously artificial mounds may have been ovens, whether for food or pottery.


    All in all, the view presented such a mixture of times and places that it might have been compiled from the memories of a student who invariably dozed off during his history lessons, often awaking with the conviction that he had napped for perhaps five minutes when in fact twenty had passed. That the place should be wholly unpeopled would have bewildered the visitors if not for their reaching it through the guest world.


    ¡°Is this a resort conceived with a specific theme of ''the breadth of culture?''¡± Dirant wondered.


    ¡°It just may be a model,¡± Taomenk mused. ¡°Real geniuses can delve a subject to its deepest without putting hands on it, but I need to set it up, tear it down, and set it up again to start understanding it. I''m not alone there, you understand.¡±


    ¡°Suppose then you were such a modeler. Where would you yourself live?¡±


    Taomenk shook his head. ¡°That''s not what we want. It''s a workplace in the daytime. One with a good view and good instruments. That tower, say.¡± He pointed out a brown brick protuberance a good distance away. ¡°Shorter than this ziggurat to be sure, but windows are better than an open roof at stopping papers from blowing away.¡±


    Thus he set their destination, though how to progress beyond their starting point, they had not yet ascertained. After searching every side for flights of stairs such as architects typically insisted on setting on the outside of their ziggurats, twice, they submitted to the regrettable necessity of making their way down by hanging from the edge of each floor and dropping down to the next in a knee-rattling procedure. By the time they reached ground level, their intentions of supplicating the designer or mayor of the place for aid in returning to Cowsick Point had given way to a more truculent attitude.


    Their hostility wore off long before they reached the tower. The eerie quiet of streets devoid of traffic, though expected, sapped all violent emotion from them and replaced it with unease. A silent city seemed all the more desolate than a plain or hill, no matter how remote, and the confused array of elements disconcerted far more when they walked among it rather than gazing down from above as a child does on his toys or a judge on someone else''s legal difficulties. There was that, but something else bothered Dirant while eluding recognition. Passing by a plaza, he realized what it was.


    ¡°Is there wind?¡± he stopped and asked.


    ¡°Ah. I wondered at the lack of windmills.¡± Taomenk halted too. Both listened and held up fingers, even going so far as to lick them (each saw to his own rather than adopting an exchange of favors). They heard and felt not even the slightest breeze.


    A revelation of that kind reduced the remainder of their aggressive impulses to nothing. Taomenk began debating with himself what bridges and other projects he might complete if free to ignore the confounding influence of the weather, and soon his splendid vision of gargantuan construction efforts across the whole of Greater Enloffenkir entranced both so that only their knees remembered what the hardships inflicted on them.

 14. The Miraculously Transcendent Properties Of Song

    A Refutation


    After formulating enough hypotheses for years of testing, they fell to discussing the buildings as they passed and guessing what country and century they represented, badly. Taomenk''s knowledge of historical engineering methods did not surpass Dirant''s by so far as the latter imagined it must. Neither for example understood anything of the triangular building with a flat roof they interrupted their tower trip to circle.


    ¡°It may have religious significance. It is my impression archaeologists declare that to indicate to their colleagues they are at a loss while preserving the reputation of their profession against accusations often made by laymen.¡±


    ¡°It''s nothing else but that. I allow they aren''t always wrong.¡± Taomenk pondered a little longer. ¡°A testing ground for new vehicles. Ah, that was a silly thing I said.¡±


    They reached the tower not long afterward as measured in attention-grabbing sights, and if not for Taomenk''s guess, the tower would not have qualified as one. The many purposes of such a building were well understood and there was nothing eccentric in its design. Moreover, nobody poked his head out of an upper window or dropped anything on them, both sure proofs of habitation. Taomenk rapped on the unadorned yet classy oak door regardless, waited a courteous interval, and started smashing a knife hilt against it.


    ¡°Perhaps they clap here,¡± Dirant suggested, whereupon he acted on his words by clapping twice rapidly. After a pause, he repeated the double clap with increasing vigor until the clamor resembled that produced by a Drastlifan drummer trying to beat time during a naval battle.


    ¡°I''m not trying to go deaf, Mr. Dirant,¡± Taomenk said. A few splinters came off the door as he did.


    Dirant pointed at the marks the knife was making. Taomenk stopped instantly. They shared the same Adabanish thought: The owner of a tower who suffers it to be damaged must regard its imminent loss as deserved. They shoved open the door and entered.


    The spiral staircase appeared in that tower also, an excellent environment for it. That and some papers were the only notable features in Dirant''s view. He examined the sheets, of course without touching them in the manner of the respectful visitor to an archaeological site. ¡°And is this the same writing I saw in the ziggurat, or? That is to say not merely the same alphabet, but the exact same writing.¡±


    ¡°That''s good sense. One good compilation that has everything is better than a dozen incomplete ones. Efficiency and redundancy.¡± Confident the latter factor would prevent undesirable consequences, Taomenk picked up one of the stacks and flipped through it. ¡°This writing has nothing of the geometrical excellence in Ertith script. Hm, but there is an awareness of absurdity which is more commendable at times.¡±


    With an entire civilization labeled and filed away on the evidence of one untranslated paragraph, the two Adabans searched tables and cabinets on every floor, finding nothing more informative or the tools Taomenk expected. On the top level, they poked their heads out the windows. The view from there presented much the same attractions as the ziggurat version, and none of the structures visible from there struck Taomenk as especially promising.


    There was something though. Dirant could not quite describe it at first, much as when he noticed the absence of wind before he understood it. He looked in a direction that felt right; his companion did the same, and neither spoke, as if to make explicit their suspicion was to expose it as false. But there was no mistake. Something was out there, in that direction. Breath arrested itself in Dirant''s throat, his blood slowed for the occasion, and his hands adopted a perfect stillness suitable if an armed guard stood between him and a display of jewels. Then, because it grew louder though his ears perceived none of the intermediate stages between silence and clarity, he heard singing such as never he had before.


    ¡°Mr. Dirant!¡±


    ¡°Mr. Taomenk!¡±


    The two threw their arms around each other at the same time and unquestionably for the same reason. ¡°Mr. Taomenk, did a notion come upon you to head straight for that splendid voice through this very window, its height notwithstanding, or was it I alone who experienced it?¡±


    ¡°The same happened to me. There''s nothing like quickness in recognizing problems. We saved each other there, I have no doubt.¡±


    The pair withdrew from the window, facing outward with a mixture of fear, terror, and apprehension, if indeed those three terms did not point to the same emotion, and refused to separate before they reached the tower''s center. Still of one mind, the two trotted down the stairs, reached ground level, and sallied in search of the song, worried about what would happen if they found it but dreading far more their regret if never they did.


    By no means were they defenseless in an encounter. Taomenk had a knife on his person. Dirant also had a knife. That was to say nothing of their class abilities, which perhaps was the better course but one Dirant could not convince himself to adopt. ¡°Suppose I intone the invented word loojweirloo. Thereupon the Fascination Ritual activates which immobilizes those who see the light it creates, usually. Please do not look at or above me if that happens.¡±


    Taomenk grunted, but in a friendly sort of fashion. ¡°I must review my abilities. Urm. No, nothing useful. What a class is Visionary, but how obnoxious it would be for me to complain. It''s done me well. I will act as your vanguard, Mr. Dirant, and you can deal with anything.¡±


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    While a kind sentiment, Dirant did not believe that he could. Regardless, he and Taomenk summoned whatever fortitude they possessed as well as their Sticktoitiveness (57 in Dirant''s case) and Gumption (27, but 35 in practice because of the Ritual Development ability), whereupon they set off through the mishmash of architecture and beyond it to an ugly countryside. Clay colored a filthy brown and a gray suggestive of disease formed the ground as if the god who fashioned that region begrudged the inhabitants anything good on account of an overlooked sacrifice. Despite that, palms and poplars sprung up all over and tulips underneath, perhaps as rewards for erecting an ostentatious, possibly triangular temple. The occasional edifice did adorn the strangely fertile waste, perhaps built there after the city council rejected the permit applications.


    All the while the singing''s volume remained constant, deceiving the travelers into doubting their progress until they began to hear an instrumental accompaniment. That too skipped the intervening stages between non-existence and perfect volume. No one but a trained musician could have answered the resulting questions such as, ¡°What goes on here?¡± and, ¡°By what means may we leave this place?¡± Musicians often heard that sort of thing, at least during the earlier part of their careers.


    At last they found the singer. She sat on the barrier around a well, singing and plucking away like any bored Omme might but distinct in certain features. Normally a description of someone''s hair as ¡°golden¡± embellished the fact of blondness in a universally accepted manner, but the metallic glitter of the veritable curtain draped over the singer''s shoulders and back was enough to cause embarrassment in any poet who had misused the word previously. When she glanced up at the approaching listeners, she revealed another peculiarity. Nobody ever compared his love''s eyes to rubies save perhaps a doctor who had cause to be concerned about her health, and so the novelty was all the more startling. More mundanely, Dirant knew of no country in which the modern woman wore a tunic, though historically instances of such sartorial customs existed as proved by many a poem and portrait.


    The collective impression of the stranger spurred one thought in Dirant: ¡°The Fascination Ritual''s effect may not apply to this person.¡±


    <blockquote>


    Ability Ritual Applicability (Fairy) gained.


    </blockquote>


    ¡°Mr. Taomenk, it happens that, ah, please permit to check again.¡±


    ¡°The same for me, Mr. Dirant.¡±


    <blockquote>


    Ritualist


    Priest of Holzd


    LV 9 320/1000


    HP 293


    Muscle 36 (+2)


    Coordination 44 (+5)


    Verve 43 (+4)


    Sticktoitiveness 57 (+6)


    Discernment 69 (+5)


    Gumption 27 (+4)


    Tit-for-Tat 43 (+2)


    Receptivity 88 (+7)


    Panache 46 (+4)


    Class Abilities


    Ritual Judgment


    Ritual Completion


    Ritual Memory


    Ritual Delay


    Ritual Substitution


    Ritual Development


    Divine Guidance (Hunch)


    Ritual Applicability (Fairy)


    Ritual Humility


    Ritual Revelation


    Ritual Flair


    General Abilities


    Adaban (Fluent)


    Heweks (Fluent)


    Yumin (Fluent)


    Tabilidgeir (Intermediate)


    Dvanj (Intermediate)


    Drastlimez (Intermediate)


    Usse (Intermediate)


    Desurvyai (Basic)


    Saueo (Basic)


    Mercantile Fundamentals


    Horse Riding (Intermediate)


    Class Perception (Divine)


    Negotiating Fundamentals


    </blockquote>


    Indeed he had read the notification correctly, and the details confirmed his latest ability did what the name suggested, that is, it allowed him to determine if a particular ritual affected fairies the same as it did humans (though without details as to the differences) or at all. ¡°Yes, I learned a fairy-related ability.¡±


    ¡°As did I. Well. There''s nothing for it but to remember our tales and press on. Not every fairy story ends badly for the hero, Mr. Dirant.¡±


    That was true. Not everyone who wandered into fairy halls was torn apart by fay hounds while still alive or strung between two boulders, one for refusing a fairy king''s gift and a second for accepting it. Sometimes a human came away unharmed or even rewarded, as in the incident of King Aspagart Ibilosh Eukiroich which was attested by numerous witnesses and accepted by historians. He once gave hospitality to a stranger without even asking his name, handed him his cup personally, and when the traveler made to refuse, swore whatever was inside was his. The stranger smiled and drank, revealing at the bottom the largest emerald in the king''s treasury, but rather than becoming irate at the trick or fearful at the magic employed, King Aspagart congratulated his guest on his unexpected bounty. Later the king was returning from a raid, for he was of the Obenec, and saw that same man standing next to a curiously radish-shaped rock. The man insisted on returning the hospitality. He bade Aspagart lift up the rock and take anything that was under it. The nobles and attendants objected, but the king obeyed as readily as he ate, hunted, or distributed the spoils. He pulled up the rock, and he pulled and he pulled, and as he did a grand palace rose below. The fairy king, for so he was, congratulated the mortal king on his new residence, and that palace inspired wonder for centuries, though by that time it had long since been destroyed.


    Then there were the in-between outcomes. Takki had told him about Two-Century Pakkset, and while later adaptations exploited the tale to mock the mores of people two centuries earlier, the original account suggested Pakkset merited sympathy for all that he lived through his fairy encounter. Dirant''s current surroundings suggested the sort of supernatural realm in which six months meant a century too much for him to want to think about that for long. He checked his watch, and seeing it as slow as ever, decided there was nothing to be done there.


    Modern speculation about the wrath fairies would doubtless hold if they had continued to exist into the present on the grounds having all the world taken up by humans so that they had no space for their mystical woods, enchanted hills, and bottomless lakes did not encourage him. That was the fourth grouping of fairy story, and three of them warned Dirant and Taomenk not to be in the situation they were. In addition, his Ritual Applicability (Fairy) told him plainly the Fascination Ritual most certainly would not have its typical impact on the fairy before them. Even so, they had their knives and their courtesy, and the Adaban who wanted more than that could justly be accused of greed.

 15. A Wondrous Merry Jaunt

    ¡°Please excuse the demands we make on your privacy,¡± Dirant said after advancing as a result of a hurried colloquy with his companion on the subject of which of them was likelier to make a favorable impression on an artsy type. ¡°Our meeting is a blessing for us. We are unwilling travelers brought here by unnatural occurrences difficult to describe and harder than that to believe. Our best evidence they are genuine is our complete sincerity in saying that do not know where we are and would be grateful for information on the point.¡±


    If the fairy noticed his flagrant violation of etiquette in neglecting to state their names on account of the warnings several stories gave concerning even that simple pleasantry, she ignored it in favor of a topic which required immediate attention. ¡°I''m not sure what song to perform next. A request?¡±


    Unfamiliar with the musical scene, Taomenk offered a general suggestion. ¡°Something about the history of this place, perhaps.¡±


    ¡°What a wonderful request! Here''s a song about rabbits.¡±


    Despite learning nothing about their predicament from the song, candor compelled Dirant and Taomenk to admit after ten verses that not only did her performance entertain, they now considered themselves qualified to raise and breed rabbits as a side business.


    The fairy songstress finished with a powerful chord, her arm remaining outstretched for a time afterward as she spoke. ¡°Wiuyo the bard has completed another song! I hope you liked it. What is music? What is this thing we call ''audience?'' I''ve spent a long time looking, and so far this is my answer. Another request?¡±


    Dirant tried again. ¡°You must have traveled widely to attain such sophistication as is evident in your graceful playing and experienced voice. Is there a place you know where people sent magically to this area might be deposited, or?¡±


    ¡°Hm?¡± Wiuyo hopped off the stone bowl. ¡°You want to go on a quest to reunite with your dearest friends and have the whole adventure memorialized in song? Let''s go!¡±


    She dashed off, whereupon the Adabans followed even though they suspected her course to be based on enthusiasm rather than deliberation. If she was running toward no particular place, her destination was no worse than theirs, and if she was instead leading them into a cunning trap, Mr. Aptezor had likely been caught in it already. That would be one companion recovered. On the subject of camaraderie, questions less urgent than the ones he had before occurred to Dirant.


    ¡°Is there any evidence which contradicts the idea the Ertithans were in fact fairies?¡± he asked Taomenk en route.


    ¡°What a question that is, and we should have all thought of it earlier. Offhand, no, I don''t think there is. You''re implying of course the Ertithans escaped the ancient cataclysm by manufacturing their own reality into which they escaped. The reason fairies stopped appearing was that they finally perfected their new world and shut it off entirely from ours. You might be right.¡±


    ¡°My notions are not nearly so developed as that, Mr. Taomenk. Are we in a fairy realm, or did we by coincidence meet a lone fairy, the last of her ilk? That is the limit of my present reflections.¡±


    That question neither could answer until they saw atop a hill to their right a single horse, black and unimaginatively saddled with an ebony-dark seat. Every child, Dirant included, at one time or another wished to come across a Hill Rider and be carried away from his stupid family toward a thrilling adventure. Whether as a result of maturity or simply altered circumstances, Dirant was glad to leave the supernatural horse behind on its hill.


    With that doubt settled, the Adabans discussed the intricacies of fairy realms which the brief visits of earlier times, reported incompletely and embellished further as each storyteller added and edited as he liked, naturally failed to reveal. Was the Hill Rider a unique being or part of a breed of horses inclined toward abduction? What should they do if someone insisted on hearing their names? Was Wiuyo ever going to speak to them again? What about the fairy gold?


    They were preparing pseudonyms for themselves, a precaution wise in their present circumstances but helpful also if they wished to write trashy novels as a secondary venture (or primary depending on their success), when their guide pulled up short. Not far short though, since the unsightly clay before her gave way presently to an imperious range of jagged rocks doubtless caused by volcanic activity, though the volcano was in hiding at the time.


    ¡°Go around or go straight? Going straight is more heroic, but I''m a bard.¡± Wiuyo leaned back to consider the proper solution. The matter troubled her to such an extent that she squeezed her palms against her eyes to enhance her concentration or else as theatrical flair. Musical theater employed the modern descendants of her claimed profession, after all; few today claimed ¡°bard¡± as their job unless encouraged to do so by a complex tax code.


    The exercise helped her reach a decision. ¡°Does anyone have a coin?¡± she asked, in response to which Taomenk held out an ezola. ¡°Thanks.¡± She dropped it in a purse hung on her tunic belt, brandished her guitar, and strummed.


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    For the first time that day, provided it was the same day still, Dirant and Taomenk stayed conscious while they were transported elsewhere by means far less prosaic than a vehicle, their feet, or the feet of their kidnappers. Their new location possessed an atmosphere similar to that of their starting point, also known as the real world. The air, not merely present, hung so thick that Dirant wanted to open a window; what stopped him was not seeing any.


    ¡°The darkness is excessive,¡± he said.


    Wiuyo evidently concurred, for she directly provided a solution. Fairy lights spun around her and illuminated in yellows and purples an underground cavity closed off entirely from the surface as if the earth wanted for certain of its treasures a vault secure from both intruders and the corroding light of the sun. There was a palace in the Ertithan style not far away, nearly intact, and there another no less preserved, and another, seven or so altogether. Other buildings may have been temples or granaries, the default guesses for the archaeologist who lacked confidence, and all of them in reasonable repair. Half of the street retained its antique appearance provided Ertith''s road technology did indeed extend no further than dirt and gravel.


    ¡°Ah!¡± Dirant and Taomenk''s exclamations, though identical when written, were trivial to distinguish for any listener. While Dirant''s expressed surprise, Taomenk was undergoing religious ecstasy.


    He sniffled as he spoke. ¡°This is how theories are disproved. It''s almost enough to get me into a temple.¡±


    ¡°Or to design a temple on behalf of a client?¡±


    ¡°Ha, maybe so, Mr. Dirant.¡±


    The surroundings impressed their bard not at all. ¡°Come on, come on. You have to find your friends. This way, here, gather around. I won''t put how much help I gave you in the song, and you can trust a promise I make about music. There!¡±


    They returned to the domain of fairies with no more fuss than that. A quick examination indicated they were on the opposite side of of the volcanic rocks which had threatened vainly to arrest their progress. No account of fairies familiar to Dirant mentioned what Wiuyo had just done, but he supposed it could have been extrapolated. Those fairy halls had to be somewhere, and another reality reachable through the guest world was as good a place to store them as any. Perhaps people throughout history trespassed against the guests frequently without realizing it on their way to marvelous halls of glamour. The possibility heartened him.


    ¡°Persuading Miss Wiuyo or another fairy to take us back there cannot be impossible, Mr. Taomenk,¡± he suggested.


    The engineer responded with raised hands, a thoughtful expression, and no willingness to speak for a time until he said, ¡°I had to estimate. The distances are different.¡± He nodded in response to his own deliberations. ¡°Without question. We traversed a greater distance in the cavern than was reflected here. Eh.¡± He resumed the journey in higher spirits than ever, far more intent on the implications of the discrepancy than in his missing associates, whom he knew only on the level of exchanging cordial greetings. After some musings on the topic, ostensibly directed at Dirant who suspected any audience or none at all would have filled the role just as well, Taomenk attempted to elicit more information from Wiuyo. Not only did his excitement quell his reservations about talking to a fairy, but also some rougher ground in that area reduced her speed and thereby facilitated conversation.


    ¡°Do you know where we were just then, Miss Wiuyo?¡±


    ¡°We''ll go to the border. Meetings there are the most poetic.¡±


    ¡°How did you judge where it was safe to switch between worlds?¡±


    ¡°Meetings, partings, changes in situation. Borders represent all that and more. Sometimes I think they represent too much and they''re just an easy tool for lazy lyricists.¡± That was valuable, if not what either Taomenk or Dirant wanted to hear. ¡°A lazy little verse is a good thing sometimes.¡± That too.


    After a few rounds of that sort, Wiuyo halted. ¡°I''m sorry for ignoring you, friends. What tribes are you from? Would you describe yourselves more as animated by mighty passion or sensitive to the melancholy of death and life?¡± Since she resumed her trip toward the border with the question mark still in the air, her zeal to hear their responses might be doubted, the more so when she started testing out verses based on answers she invented herself. The exhibition, combining supreme skill and consummate carelessness as it did, amazed Dirant. After thinking it over, it amazed him again for another reason.


    ¡°Mr. Taomenk, it is a historical fact that language is somehow no barrier to understanding fairies or being understood, and yet it cannot be true that the meter and wordplay of Miss Wiuyo''s compositions function the same in every language at once.¡±


    ¡°Ah, I haven''t given much consideration to poetry, but you''re right. What a shame that foreigners won''t be able to enjoy this except in translation. I''ll allow I don''t think much of the brotherhood of man, but I''m not spiteful either.¡±


    ¡°No, it works just fine no matter what,¡± Wiuyo turned back to explain. ¡°You''re willing to listen or you aren''t, and that''s the whole of it.¡±


    Judging it unwise to dispute with their one guide and a fairy on top of that, the Adabans merely shook their heads at each other and redirected the conversation toward the dissimilarity between the dazzling courts of fairy kings depicted in the typical story and the country through which they were passing, a place prone to dragging itself home just after curfew, unpunished because the bailiffs empathize with its circumstances.


    ¡°Low fairy density is responsible,¡± Taomenk opined on the basis that he had not yet seen a single fairy or any variety of person aside from Wiuyo, excepting Dirant of course.


    ¡°It may be that everything of relevance transpires within, for example, a stately ziggurat, and if the witnesses we read troubled themselves to tour the countryside, perhaps their accounts would have been closer to the scene about us now.¡±


    The exchange, later admitted to be a mistake, focused the two men on that ugly, tedious scenery. Consequently their journey took on the aspect of a multi-year odyssey for all that they had thus far expended less than an hour on it. Still, Wiuyo remained steadfast in her confidence, and the man unable to trust a fairy, well, regardless.

 16. How Clangily Doth The Mattock Swing!

    ¡°We''re near the border,¡± Wiuyo announced. ¡°I like to go there to immerse myself in liminality. The outside defines the inside and an egg won''t ever be a falcon; the falcon is the falcon and the shell is its castle. I want to be the falcon, but I''m starting to think I''ve been outside all along while the audience guards its egg from me.¡±


    Each branch of philosophy has its enthusiasts. The problems of identity and art meant nothing to an engineer who specialized in road and bridge construction, and so the hospitable terrain, dismayed by the discomfort of its guests, provided a spectacle better suited to his interests. A long line of obstructions, not wholly straight in the fashion of a reputable wall, made of piles comprising some beige, almost bronze material reached perhaps ten Adabans high before them. ¡°What then is this?¡±


    ¡°We''ll skip this too. Huddle up. Those aren''t even real bones. A fairy spent six hundred years forging them all. Somebody else wrote a song about it before I did. Come closer, that''s right. Blang!¡±


    ¡°Those were supposed to be bones? Of what?¡± As intriguing a subject as that promised to be, Taomenk submitted to the necessity of hurrying up so as not to be left behind, and his attempt to resume the inquiry later won as much cooperation as he expected. Wiuyo had already started through the detour zone, another cavity which contained yet more remnants of a long-departed age. Perhaps that once had been a district of a city called Blang, though more likely she was employing nomenclature from musical theory devised by practitioners to keep their blangs distinct from their blings.


    That particular underground district compared unfavorably with the previous in an economic sense to judge by the relative size and density of the dwellings there, lower in the one parameter and far higher in the other. Some of them, four or five stories high, may once have been populated by a dozen or more separate families and individual renters compelled by pecuniary considerations to endure a single, thin-walled room. Never before then had the purely human aspect of Ertith affected Dirant so strongly.


    While he lost himself in a mist of reminiscence, Taomenk noticed something of contemporary significance. ¡°Some source is producing light. I will learn if I cannot figure out what. Not moss, not lamps, not a miniature sun constructed as a model . . .¡±


    ¡°Fairies.¡± That made the second time in a row that Wiuyo answered a question the Adabans posed. If their acquaintance continued, soon she might unfold the entire history of her kind as passed down in lyrical tradition. Aside from that, the possibility of meeting other fairies was startling, momentous, and possibly dangerous. Wiuyo''s friendly deportment, in addition to possibly being feigned, might not be shared by other common fairies, let alone the lords, kings, and queens of legend.


    Taomenk and Dirant would have deliberated on their most productive approach had not Wiuyo decided the issue by swaggering forward in the manner of an especially eminent bard. Perhaps she was such or else wished to appear to be so. Either way, Dirant caught up with her and attempted to be as unobtrusive as possible by behaving exactly as he did before. Mr. Taomenk for his part pretended to be grumpy and therefore difficult to approach in conversation, also by behaving exactly as he did before.


    Again the two Adabans heard a song. In a fortunate contrast, nothing about it encouraged them to ignore the downsides of long falls. It hardly seemed fay at all. The lyrics, clear, easy to comprehend, and boisterously sung, dealt with the typical subjects of work and intoxication, the conclusion being that the former necessitated the latter. A social reformer who listened to that would declare the gap between humans and fairies to be at an end and universal fraternity established.


    The next sound they heard join the merry vocals was not a guitar, a piano, or even a lyre, whatever that is. It was not musical at all except in the most experimental sense. The fairies worked even as they complained, and the tools they wielded against rock and earth competed with their voices in volume, particularly when dropped. Eight fairies were digging a tunnel, and directing them was Doltandon Yurvitas.


    ¡°Pick up a spade,¡± he ordered Taomenk. Addressing Dirant, ¡°You can''t do much with a spade, but do you see that shovel? I see that you do. Move this pile out of the way.¡± Examining Wiuyo''s arms which were suitable for carrying a guitar and nothing more laborious, he sighed. ¡°Another spade, but stay out of the way.¡±


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    ¡°It is just as invigorating for us to find you safe, Mr. Doltandon. Further, your industry is remarkable. Ah, and now I must say that this opportunity is a blessing for me. Wiuyo the bard, a friend of ours.¡±


    Dirant handled the introduction with such thoroughness that Doltandon Yurvitas considered it unnecessary to add to it, contradict it, or to acknowledge it in any way whatever. He pointed to the shovel. ¡°You Adabans excel at industry when you can look at your gain on paper, but when it comes to something as hard to sum up as your own lives, you lose enthusiasm. Well, I have nothing but my enthusiasm in all this world, and I command you to start digging before we all die down here. Dyai''s look! Fairies are faster to listen than an Adaban. I''m going to share my grave with dullards! Pay attention. Pretend I am a dull brown desk if you have to. I know how popular those are with your tribe. Barely did I arrive in an indescribably unpleasant land, an honest challenge to the viewer of it as to whether he can remember anything uglier, than I reduced the first several fairies I met to employees, learned everything there was to know, and was ready to recreate my business here. I''ve gained simply too much industry among the Adabans. Then, just as I got them in order, here we were in an exit-deprived cave! Life is paved with pebbles of frustration and injustice. I think someone said that, and I will be sure to check as soon as we reach the surface.¡±


    Dirant did not pick up the shovel. ¡°That is a marvelous tale. You have mastered these fairies entirely, or?¡±


    ¡°I have. Why are you smiling like that? And you, Mr. Taomenk. I''d expect you to be in my faction.¡±


    ¡°I am, Mr. Yurvitas, I am.¡± Concealing their names had become impossible; evidently the mothers of Yean Defiafi told their children different stories. Those children also learned to use family names in preference to the personal for distant acquaintances, but Taomenk belonged to that party which did not believe foreigners unworthy of proper address. ¡°And I think highly of your manpower. I''ll finish up my calculations, you can be confident, hand them over, and that''s when we''ll escape.¡±


    Unsure of his ground yet even less sure why he should be, Mr. Doltandon adopted a more cautious attitude. ¡°I will be glad if I can save you some time by telling you I found all the good tools already. There isn''t anything too exciting, not from an uninspired perspective of sheer practicality. A dull perspective as no one needs to be told, but we are under the rule of King Haste, good gentlemen.¡±


    Taomenk shook his head. ¡°A shame about the tools. I did not expect much different, you understand, but a shame. Even so, we may be in a position to show you something you might think exciting, provided Miss Wiuyo agrees.¡±


    ¡°Hold on. I''m composing verses on your joyful reunion. I missed most of what you were talking about, but it wouldn''t have fit the tone anyway. I think I have it. Come over, that''s right, you too, Yurvitas.¡±


    Out of the dismal cavern and under the sunlight diminished only by immobile clouds overheard, far overhead unlike earlier uncanny realms, Yurvitas blinked a few times and then a few more times. ¡°So that''s why you were laughing at me. But gentlemen, is that how we behave toward one another?¡±


    ¡°Not so,¡± Dirant said. ¡°In Yean Defiafi it is evidently the custom to play the tyrant for the duration of an emergency. Meanwhile, among Adabans the priority is the recognition of danger''s source, and therefore we consider it distasteful to tell a man he has been kidnapped while surrounded by his kidnappers. It is not a common circumstance in regular life, but we are among fairies, and therefore worse is to be expected.¡±


    ¡°They should expect worse, I agree.¡± Even as Mr. Doltandon spoke, his work crew appeared, its members full of grins and empty of remorse. ¡°From now on I''ll work you four times as hard!¡±


    ¡°Hurray!¡± the fairies shouted.


    With that resolved, the Survyai and his questionable band decided to accompany the Adabans and their bard, also questionable though solely in regard to whether she had any idea where she was going. Doltandon emphasized as justification the efficacy of his tireless fairies, concerns about discipline notwithstanding, and assured Taomenk that any tunnel he planned, they could make. The engineer in turn promised a short route to the surface, most likely to the ravine, as soon as he gathered enough information. ¡°Not more than a fortnight,¡± he estimated. ¡°Should be before we starve.¡±


    As much as Dirant and Doltandon have preferred for him to be joking, just as did every manager upon hearing any time estimate, the existence of a workable plan cheered all three humans and soon had them getting along as well as clerks who saw one another as little as possible outside of work hours, not because of any acrimony but from a simple divergence of inclinations. Improbable as it seemed, they discovered a small number of shared experiences along the way.

 17. Hearken, Children, To A Tale Of Wickedness

    ¡°Allow me, as unworthy as I am to speak even for myself, to express to you gentlemen what an honor it is for our Yean Defiafi to have hosted travelers of your quality.¡± Doltandon Yurvitas said that with the benevolent condescension of the true subject of his kingdom which made clear their aforementioned quality was quite low and in need of improvement, while his unfeigned pleasure derived from his presumption they had gotten a little during their visits. In Taomenk''s opinion Yean Defiafi''s infrastructure required betterment more than he did, a stance with which Doltandon freely concurred. From there they discussed the country without reserve, its virtues and its failings alike, and of course the personalities.


    Dirant had met in person only a single one of Yean Defiafi''s countless luminaries, and that someone notorious rather than honorably famous. ¡°And Glainai Gabas remains imprisoned as of the last report, though it is no surprise if a criminal of his aptitude and daring is abroad while a well-compensated substitute keeps his place. Any judgment of my character based on the people I encounter is beyond my power to contradict. I met nobody of the more respectable sort such as that Judge Dolityu Bars about whom the broadsheets were so exercised at the time for a reason I no longer remember. Later I made the acquaintance of the charming Miss Desabas Aesyo and her entourage in Drastlif, which is something.¡±


    ¡°Judge Dolityu Bars!¡± Yurvitas snatched his hat off his head to throw it on the ground, realized the trouble he would have replacing it, and placed it down before picking it back up as a symbolic representation. ¡°Mr. Dirant, here is an aid to your memory. The reporters swarmed around him because of a most infamous act. Glainai Gabas has transgressed the provisions of many law codes, but what is he? No one expected better. Judge Dolityu Bars attacked the laws of society itself that are immutable and sacred, or at least they were. But who is left to defend them? Who can be bothered to remember?¡±


    Some men, when moved to wrath, enter such a frenzy as has the power to terrify all about them regardless of their physique or known class abilities. Doltandon Yurvitas belonged to the other type. Had he been armed, armored, and flourishing an authorization from his king to cut down anyone who interfered with him in the execution of royal business, not a single person would have taken him seriously. He wrung his hands dramatically, a gesture rarely indicative of imminent action, and kicked the ground at each step with intensity sufficient to dig out a latrine. That would come in handy later.


    ¡°Judge Dolityu Bars,¡± and he meant the name itself to be an accusation, ¡°devised innovations tending to upend the genial customs our noble ancestors established as a joy for their descendants. He decided to dispose of his legacy, throw it in the lake, destroy it utterly, just to avoid the projected blow to his pride that his heirs would, combined, surpass him in wealth when his was added to theirs.¡±


    ¡°Ah, that was it. He donated his art collection to a city. Thank you, Mr. Doltandon.¡±


    ¡°That was the first wrongful allocation, the first step on the staircase of iniquity which gives the blackened heart a route to the sky that it might add to night''s darkness! Righteousness has the moon and stars as its guardians, nothing else. Judge Dolityu Bars dispossessed his lawful, or we do not transgress to say his rightful heirs, because of habitual meanness of character, the sole requirement to be a judge in this country. That was enough to consign him to the ranks of scoundrels, but he went further than that. The respectable gentleman is discrete when he commits a crime. Judge Dolityu Bars told everyone. He took out ads! Dyai''s look! The interviewers he picked gave the deference he wanted. They listened to the nonsense he grabbed off the shelf of rhetoric to dress up his actions and repeated it to the public as if it were a text compiled from decades of a sage''s writing rather than ramblings explicable by senility. The low character of his heirs, and how the expectation of leisure can ruin a person faster and surer than leisure itself, and how he formerly thought he owed to the society which brought him up his own upright service and a second generation, but after seeing that generation grown he realized his heirs were nothing but impositions on the public patience. Obviously he did the whole thing as a ploy to get his name in the broadsheets removed, for once, from the phrase, ''gets it wrong in signal ruling.''¡±


    Whatever might be said about the justice of Doltandon''s complaints, his diatribe on the topic made the journey seem to his companions an inconsequential thing no longer noticed. They could have marched for three days straight provided he had enough grudges to occupy seventy-two hours, and at the moment none doubted that he did.


    ¡°Even I didn''t know to doubt interviewers before that incident, so how can I blame those who listened credulously? Soon parents, grandparents, uncles, and aunts were disinheriting shocked scions as casually as they decided to go swimming. It''s now our kingdom''s favorite sport! The wealthy Drastlifar on vacation takes to the tennis courts and finds them filled with lawyers writing new wills, each one scored on its cruelty, its pettiness, and how convoluted are its provisions. Split your house into its different wings, bequeath each to a different institution and the shed to your grandson, and you receive a point. This is the conduct we show the world now.¡±


    Believing Doltandon Yurvitas to be finishing up his speech, Taomenk tendered a few words of rough comfort. ¡°You don''t have to be anywhere they don''t want you. Just earn your place, as you are.¡±


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    ¡°Oh, I haven''t been disinherited.¡± Beyond the simple entertainment of watching someone become agitated over a situation which would never affect the listener, this particular confused polemic which already had attributed the judge''s actions to three distinct motives was delivering twists more surprising than those in the most thrilling serials, even the ones which stopped bothering to make sense after they ran a little too long. Dirant and the fairies enjoyed it tremendously. Insensible to the reactions, Yurvitas continued.


    ¡°But everyone knows what it means when your aunt hints that your behavior is not all it could be and mentions she attended a dinner engagement recently with such fascinating people. Officers, poets, judges, diplomats, architects, judges . . . That''s how it starts, as subtle as that. They think they are subtle, that we missed the secret message. The reward for preserving the family dignity by refusing to acknowledge such an unnatural suggestion is this! The hints become heavier and heavier, as does the heart. Mine dragged me low until I quit my class, my beautiful Colorist, and embraced a crude new career. One day Yean Defiafi will awaken and rub its drowsy eyes, see its most distinguished children engaged in unworthy labor as if born to it, and recoil at what it has done, looking on the situation as a nightmare.¡±


    To despise this pampered inheritor of presumably above-average wealth for his forceful resentment over being coerced into taking regular work of the sort every person but a few did as a matter of course, and not in manual labor but in supervision at that, would doubtless be the impulse of the greater part of humanity. Dirant numbered among the lesser part. He sympathized. He did consider Yurvitas''s histrionics to be unnecessary, unhelpful to himself let alone broader society, and more amusing than most theatrical performances which claimed to be comedies on the thinnest of evidence, but he sympathized with someone who had cause to suspect his future would be other than it was. That was before he heard an argument from the agitated scion which raised his support higher still.


    ¡°They are free with that term, ''low character.'' They use it ecstatically. Very well, but where did we get that low character? Why did we persist in having it despite the gentle, desperate instruction of our relatives? That is the implied scenario, and here is the real. They said nothing about our low character until Judge Dolityu Bars used the term in an interview. Not a single time, none of them! Why should they have? Our characters conform to their expectations. From the cradle we learned to smile at people we dislike if their influence could advance a cousin. I studied the social graces, not the best way to swear after dropping a hammer on my foot. I mixed with the genteel, not the ordinary, and learned how to deal with them. They trained us to be charming and are surprised when we continued to charm in our own interest. ''Make excuses for me, but never lie.'' They are the same. Am I incompetent as is implied? I haven''t learned all the Subjugator abilities to which my level entitles me, that''s how recently I changed class, and I run the most active work crew in the kingdom. Adabans recognize its value! A Subjugator, and with such effort.¡±


    Deprived of any other visual complement to his speech, Yurvitas flashed a portion of his status in a most Survyai-esque manner.


    <blockquote>


    Subjugator


    Priest of Wui


    LV 18 19/1000


    HP 487


    Muscle 31 (+1)


    Coordination 63 (+3)


    Verve 45 (+2)


    Sticktoitiveness 36 (+2)


    Discernment 37 (+1)


    Gumption 40 (+1)


    Tit-for-Tat 18


    Receptivity 60


    Panache 54


    </blockquote>


    That he had required two gains in Sticktoitiveness merely to enter his new class impressed the audience with his commitment, as did the unquestionable superiority of Colorist in suiting his stats on account of his 54 Panache. The bare facts behind the rhetoric could not fail to move those who saw them.


    ¡°Tell us more about Judge Dolityu Bars,¡± a fairy said.


    ¡°Yes! He seems interesting. I''ve been thinking about changing my name. I''ve had this one for eons now.¡±


    Yurvitas had exhausted himself too far to do anything but look chagrined at the reception his story elicited. The moment had passed for Dirant to say he for one understood, but he did so regardless.


    ¡°I understand too,¡± another fairy commiserated. ¡°You''re sad that someone is asking outright about interesting people when we''re so close to finding out ourselves. I can''t believe we''re finally going to escape this dead city.¡±


    That was the first Dirant, Taomenk, or Yurvitas had heard about a desire on the part of the fairies to leave with them, not to mention about obstacles to their doing so. They had presumed fay powers removed all restrictions on travel. Dirant almost asked a question before he thought to try a new approach.


    ¡°This fairy realm is surely equipped with everything necessary,¡± he said. There was a statement open to disagreement, if the fairies so chose.


    They did. ¡°The only reason to come here is to watch the strongest five fight over who gets to be Hacanthu.¡±


    ¡°I wish I were strong enough to compete. Hacanthu was the greatest in history.¡±


    ¡°Sometimes I join in the fights, but it isn''t that good.¡±


    ¡°I watch as many battles as I can.¡± That was Wiuyo. ¡°They''re poor material for songs though. Nobody here knows anything about war. Zatdil thinks he does. But what is war? I can''t write a worthy song about it until I know.¡±


    ¡°I want to sit behind a waterfall.¡±


    ¡°I remember storms being exciting, but it''s been so long.¡±


    The fairies went on expressing their fondest wishes and desires, their most grievous discontents. Fortunately, not a single one said anything about wanting to transform humans into trees or not having enough humans around to turn into trees. On fortune''s reverse side, the fairies refused to elaborate on any intriguing points which arose.

 18. Lo, Straits Most Marvelously Perilous

    For example, Dirant tried this gambit. ¡°Wiuyo cannot be the name of any human who ever lived.¡±


    Wiuyo responded with this. ¡°Are your friends ogres?¡±


    The question had more relevance than he liked. The party had surmounted a small rise, the most picturesque terrain element so far encountered on the journey, and from there observed a scene appropriate for inclusion in a series of stories to tell children who believed, and reasonably so, that words unaccompanied by pictures belonged in technical texts only. The typical Adaban would be inclined to refer to the four creatures seen from there as giants, though perhaps an ogre was nothing but an ugly giant. They certainly were ugly. The tumult they were generating was as loud as four ogres; to hear them was to conclude other cacophonies were best compared to them rather than the reverse.


    The raucous figures surrounded an object of great interest, peculiar enough to attract some of the attention initially captured by the ogres. It was a four-walled cottage, and the walls had these qualities: One was of marble, one of iron, one of silver, and the last shining gold. The first might be explained by supposing a person of affluence wanted a rural retreat without sacrificing opulence, but the rest established it as a setting for a fairy story.


    The ogres inexplicably were not tearing down the cottage and making use of the parts to secure their retirements. Instead they engaged in a great deal of roaring, banging, and falling to climb up the smooth walls, for it was a strangely tall cottage when one noticed how it measured against the ogres or the typical Adaban. Up on the roof sat the typical Adaban.


    ¡°Mr. Aptezor,¡± Dirant observed, ¡°is in a predicament.¡±


    ¡°The word for it,¡± Taomenk agreed.


    ¡°So will we be if they notice us,¡± Yurvitas emphasized, though he stayed to watch as much as any of the others. How could they do otherwise? There was Aptezor Ristaofen atop a marvelous enchanted cottage, fit to be a model for a study named by its artist ¡°The Forlorn Young Gentleman,¡± while monsters on every side scrambled up and grabbed at the air as close to him as they could contrive. They would never touch him, but he would never leave unless he decided he might as well feed someone else before he starved himself. It was a scene to arrest the mind and excite the emotions, and it demanded a response.


    ¡°A folktale relates to this circumstance.¡± Ordinarily Dirant would not allow a source of that nature to guide his actions, he hoped despite doing exactly that the first time the possibility arose. Doubt about his own judgment caused him to speak in a speculative manner when in fact he was proposing a definite plan.


    ¡°I know the one.¡± Taomenk had no such doubt.


    Yurvitas examined his companions minutely, decided he was the fastest runner among them, and opted to cooperate. ¡°We have that same story, more or less. I presume we invented it.¡±


    ¡°I''ll take engineer iron. Mr. Dirant can have business silver. Mr. Yurvitas will have his gold today. That''s enough. Leave the fairies carefree.¡±


    ¡°I''m very troubled,¡± Wiuyo asserted in contradiction despite all the available evidence, from her expression to her approving voice. ¡°Is that one of your friends? You have to tell me what you''re doing. Nobody likes half-finished lyrics.¡±


    ¡°But that''s the fashion in Yean Defiafi right this moment,¡± Yurvitas averred. ¡°The singer trails off halfway through as if overcome by emotion, and the critics, what is this I''m babbling? Gentlemen, bravery has its demands.¡±


    The three who suffered from complications related to bravery split up in order to sneak behind the ogres while behind them one of the digger fairies remarked, ¡°Oh, they''re going to save the other one. I haven''t seen a human in so long, I forgot they care what happens to their species-mates.¡±


    ¡°Not always, though. As the mood takes them.¡±


    ¡°Don''t they have complex societal groupings that determine that kind of thing?¡±


    ¡°That''s the claim, but I don''t get it. I think it''s all fake.¡±


    The implications for fairy society challenged the imagination, but not of the sneakers. They were busy. The demands of bravery were levied directly on Dirant''s heart to judge from the way it was beating while he walked, crouched and careful of his footing. Of course he understood the ogres were unable to hear the actions of his organs and instructed himself to stop worrying they would give him away, but he did wonder if his insides would ever return to normal. He suspected not.


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    He also suspected, a consideration more favorable from his perspective, that in the event the ogres detected him, they would nevertheless persist in their efforts to apprehend Aptezor. The four ogre brothers in the story combined stubbornness and stupidity as a lesson to children who later learned of the wonderful power of tenacity and not overthinking from the memoirs of successful businessmen. It was for that reason one writer proposed the elimination of all current books for children as a means of increasing economic productivity. Replacements which taught lessons more appropriate for the modern financial environment could by employing modern methods be created and distributed quickly enough that no child would have to suffer from fiction deprivation.


    Regardless of the proposal''s merit or the motive behind it (that writer owned a publishing company), reflecting on it allowed Dirant to think louder than his heart was beating. Gratitude for that increased his respect for the theorist, though not to the extent of convincing him to buy stories with replacement morals. He was acting in accordance with as much virtue as he cared to possess right then, and the experience did not delight him.


    The cottage had around it elements of scenery scattered without regard for their practical functions. Dirant reached his assigned position behind a convenient pile of hay which a touch revealed to be a roll of shaggy carpet, crouched, waited for Taomenk to get to the yellow wagon (Yurvitas was already behind his boulder, bored), and then called out the line as he remembered it.


    ¡°My friend, my friend! Your brother will reach it before you! His legs are so long!¡±


    <blockquote>


    +1 bonus to Panache gained.


    </blockquote>


    Variations evidently existed. Taomenk commented on the length of the brother''s fingers. The Yean Defiafi version differed still more. ¡°Master, have you got it yet? Master, where is your brother? What is that in his hands?¡± Yurvitas invested those specious questions with such subservience as to prove everything he claimed about the social graces.


    Details notwithstanding, the substance of the story persisted across borders, including those which separated the guest and fairy worlds from the normal. The three ogres so addressed bellowed uncouth threats of the sort a gentleman might say but never repeat and went after their brothers with the result that soon all four were enwrapped in a single bundle of fists and bruises.


    The rescuers ran to the cottage. ¡°Mr. Aptezor, come down! Wait. How are you to get down? How did you get up?¡± Dirant backed away and inspected the smooth, cold iron.


    Aptezor''s head popped over the side. ¡°I kicked away the ladder. Over that direction. It''s unbelievable that someone came for me. Thank you. I . . . thank you.¡± His rescuers forgave his failure of eloquence which had an obvious cause in that he started sobbing. They forgave him for that also, since almost being killed by monsters was considered in Greater Enloffenkir one of the few acceptable excuses for exhibiting such violent emotion in public, right below seeing someone else be killed by monsters and above killing a monster for the first time. Moreover, finding and propping up the ladder occupied them entirely.


    Soon the four were hustling across the horrible landscape, Yurvitas unafraid to take the lead. They picked up the fairies and kept going without a single delay until they had crossed another obstacle, this one a canyon, by entering, crossing, and leaving more isolated ruins.


    ¡°These obstacles are conveniently placed,¡± Yurvitas said, at last sufficiently removed from danger to become suspicious about something else. ¡°Coincidence is too mild a word if every one of them has its corresponding cavern like a boat has its oars.¡±


    Taomenk sat down, decided that to be too conservative, and laid himself out on the clay. ¡°Ah, there''s a relationship for certain. I don''t think it''s malicious any more than when a road hits a hill and the grade goes up. It''s a consequence.¡±


    Aptezor was able to wait that long to express his gratitude in all its fullness, but no longer. He bowed so often and deeply that his top half threatened to separate from his bottom, and his offer to write favorable articles about his saviors interested all three of them, though writing and publishing are far different things. At the very least, a single article about the incident was likely.


    ¡°Provided of course it is possible to persuade your editor of the legitimacy of this fairy nonsense, which even I must treat as nonsense despite being in the midst of it,¡± Dirant warned. ¡°Before that fort is stormed however, you must do your job of informing the public. What explains the presence of a ladder at all? And such.¡±


    ¡°The sole entrance to the cottage is in the ceiling. I presumed that to be the reason, but I may be mistaken.¡±


    ¡°The marble side had a door,¡± Yurvitas objected.


    ¡°It is purely decorative.¡± That intelligence surprised the listeners more than the existence of the wondrous cottage. While a fairy dwelling might not have a standard entrance, in such a case a portal usually opened in response to a particular phrase or deed. ¡°The inside is decorative also. There are no furnishings of any kind nor any safe way down from the attic. I was attempting to pull up the ladder to use it to explore when the ogres came, for my rescue from which I haven''t yet thanked you gentlemen.¡±


    ¡°But you did,¡± Taomenk reminded him.


    ¡°Not enough.¡±

 19. Roundly Shored Lakes Seen Brightly In The Three-Pointed World

    Prior to the cottage incident, nothing about Aptezor''s adventure was novel or informative. That would have disappointed Wiuyo had she not already gathered enough material for a ballad. ¡°I''ll call it ''The Finding of the Four and Their Reunion,''¡± she decided.


    The name startled Dirant. ¡°Is there reason to be confident we will fail to meet the others, or? Surely this land is not so easily explored as that. We have not even seen Mr. Zatdil.¡±


    ¡°That was the most dramatic reunion I''ve ever witnessed, and you''re saying there are more of you? We''re wasting time!¡± Wiuyo resumed the journey without first ensuring the people required for there to be a second dramatic reunion would follow, though of course they did. ¡°We''re close to the border,¡± she assured them. Though they felt certain she had said something similar before, ¡°close¡± has many reasonable meanings.


    When they reached it, for it was indeed close, they recognized the transition without any elaboration on the part of the fairies. The landscape stopped. That was not to say a phenomenon waited for them similar to the guest world''s inconceivable cellar. It was a simple matter of a sudden end to the mild dips and short heights, the mingled streaks of gray and orangish-gray, all of it replaced by perfectly level brown. Vegetation feared to approach, and they saw no buildings out there despite the accommodatingly level terrain.


    ¡°Is it safe to walk there?¡± Dirant wanted to ask, but the people to whom he wished to address the question proceeded into the border region before he rearranged it into a statement rather than a question. That of course did not prove the area to be safe for less fairy-like travelers. ¡°Mr. Aptezor, it is the privilege of youth to rush ahead and try new things.¡±


    ¡°I''m shocked by your attitude, Dirant. May I call you Dirant?¡± Doltandon Yurvitas was smiling in the same manner as an employee who, hearing of a planned reduction in the workforce, receives a promotion against his expectations, and that to a position held by a former superior he sees stumbling out of the offices, vanquished in spirit.


    ¡°Certainly, Yurvitas.¡± Dirant hated to ruin the sudden accord between him and Yurvitas by saying it was a joke, and so he did not.


    Taomenk stomped right past them, though he was still behind Aptezor. ¡°Look at these shy villains. They''re eager to wipe away the memory of what they did not ten minutes ago. Get going.¡±


    They did go, passing the land''s last edifice if barns deserved the term. Aptezor halted one step past the border, causing the three behind him to scramble back in terror. ¡°That is surpassingly strange,¡± he remarked, his head turned toward the barn.


    That building which ought to have extended over the border instead had its rear sliced off cleanly as if a baker with an oversized knife mistook it for one of his loaves. Not even an ogre had the size and Muscle to wield so immense a knife, a fact suggestive of the incredible power of bakers. At least the exposed interior held a few buckets and an entire second floor, a nod to an actual purpose unlike the ostentatious cottage''s interior. Fairyland evidently respected borders with an aggression unknown in the natural world, where armies, attorneys, and armies of attorneys often were required to resolve disputes over such.


    As curious as that was, the fairies had not paused to look. The humans hurried to catch up, whereupon Wiuyo put forward an unexpected question. ¡°Which realm do you want to explore next? Don''t say you have no idea. Feel inside for the bond-knowledge, the sense we all have of needing one another. How else are we drawn together?¡±


    ¡°Which realm? Ah, pardon me for the repetition. It is only that I had believed the fairy realm to be a single place.¡± The expressions of his companions reassured Dirant that his misapprehension had been shared.


    The workers laughed. ¡°A border with one side! A center on the edge!¡±


    ¡°Kings and queens with no kingdoms!¡±


    Yurvitas took the mockery of his underlings as well as most bosses. ¡°I''ve already seen a border between something and nothing. What do you say about that?¡±


    ¡°I want to see that.¡±


    ¡°I don''t want to see that. It sounds scary.¡±


    That settled the question if fairies possessed different personalities, or whether as one philosopher posited in his controversial Toward a Fairy-Like Governance, fairies had been the several physical expressions of a single guiding intelligence. The implications for social organization were obvious, at least if one read all 800 pages (depending on the edition). The suggestions therein had not been taken up by any known government, and once word of the authentic fairy-nature spread, they never would.


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    One of the fairies proved so distinct from his fellows as to try to be helpful. ¡°There are five realms, aren''t there? Ishtu''s, Ydridd''s, Ava''s, Zatdil''s, and Jiojjil''s, until one of them changes to Hacanthu. Jiojjil will win. He''s the strongest, isn''t he?¡±


    ¡°No, Zatdil is.¡±


    ¡°He just looks strong. Ydridd is too queenish not to win.¡±


    ¡°None will ever win.¡±


    Aptezor moved to clarify the local geopolitical situation. ¡°Does¡ª¡° He got that far before Dirant squeezed his shoulder and whispered a warning about the general futility of questions. ¡°Thank you. The rulers of these realms must collect information about who enters their domains.¡±


    ¡°Should they be doing that?¡± a fairy wondered. Perhaps the tunneling fairies would eventually say their names to facilitate identification, but in the interval, he was known only as the one with the biggest boots.


    ¡°That''s what the kings and queens are missing,¡± Wiuyo declared with the full conviction of the recently persuaded. ¡°It''s that quality known as tactical acumen. Humans have it. Twenty songs about a single battle can have varying verses because of the analysis, concentrating on specific parts, telling it from the perspective of a general, an officer, a soldier, and all kinds of approaches. Just six songs can say everything about the heart, only nobody''s capable of singing them. Three humans beat four ogres. Think that over until I get these lyrics right, then think of them instead to help me out.¡±


    ¡°We employed a ruse suggested in an amusing little story about a mother bird desperate to stop the ogre brothers from eating her eggs,¡± Dirant explained. ¡°Or does it reinforce the point that we teach our children such tactics?¡±


    Humans and fairies alike agreed that it did, though their opinions split when it came to the proper emphasis. That is, were humans geniuses or fairies dullards? The discussion flattered, but it also reawakened Yurvitas''s habitual impatience. ¡°I''ll write to Aunt Jeon that I''m a genius at warfare and see how she takes it. For now, we''re stupidly immobile. Which realm has the most water?¡±


    ¡°Ah!¡± The three Adabans flattered him further for his astuteness in fixing on a criterion not directly related to their main purpose but essential for its fulfillment, though not the manner in which he asked it. Specifically, the ¡°asked¡± portion was ill-considered.


    ¡°I don''t care if they answer,¡± he said. ¡°We''ll walk along the border. When we see some, there we are.¡±


    Wiuyo set off again. ¡°An audience of these hard, earthy warriors with regal Ydridd! This will be the best lay I ever compose.¡± Then the others praised Yurvitas some more.


    The lake district, the fairies called it, and so did the humans out of courtesy if nothing else. They saw no lakes from the border, though the verdant hills and still more verdant valleys suggested plentiful water. So overwhelmingly green was it that the first cartographer to see the place would unquestionably color it brown on the map in an exercise of defiant discretion. Paintings which purported to depict the paradise which awaits the just failed to communicate such tranquility as that mystical country implied for its dwellers, no doubt because of the irrepressible turmoil in the heart of every brush''s wielder. Beautiful Yean Defiafi never appeared so inviting, to the lover of the outdoors at any rate. Architecture was another matter. Unlike the barren but partially developed district they had left, no artificial structure could be seen from the first hill they climbed.


    ¡°Mr. Dirant, what is your opinion of the commercial advantages of this location?¡± No more than a couple minutes of gazing upon that serenity and Aptezor was wholly restored, his tone even and inquisitive, his knees steady and his back straight.


    ¡°None whatsoever on account of the fairies. Supposing they leave as is their stated intention, this is an ideal location for families disenchanted with the city. Collecting rents is possible, and yet the canny businessman may prefer to establish, either solely or in conjunction with proprietors capable of running them, the assorted shops necessary to supply the hopeful farmers, ranchers, and possibly fishermen who will come in with money, regardless of how long they keep it. Furthermore, he might arrange for the town charter to be framed in such a way as to ensure the choice of the mayor is not left to chance. That is from a purely single-generation financial perspective of course.¡±


    ¡°I see. And what about a multi-generational plan? The public wants to know how to give our grandchildren a chance.¡±


    ¡°If true, it''s the finest compliment the Adabans may be given and a rebuke to Yean Defiafi we may never bear.¡± Yurvitas closed his eyes and dreamed.


    Dirant left him to that and answered. ¡°Simply reserve the mayorship for one''s own family in perpetuity. That is too long for any municipal constitution to persist unchanged of course. The entire stratum of local society capable of harnessing the resources required to amend the charter is however likely descended from one branch or another of the founding family, and there is no obligation to favor a specific line of heirs on the sole grounds of initial seniority.¡±


    ¡°A very thorough response, Mr. Dirant. Our readers cannot fail to be enlightened when they read it. Mr. Taomenk, what improvements may be made to this region in the opinion of an expert engineer?¡±


    ¡°Depends where the water is, Mr. Aptezor.¡± He refused to commit himself beyond that, and on each occasion his companions swallowed, they became more persuaded he was correct in his stance.


    Just as they resumed their search for water and their missing associates, in that order, they heard drums and yet more songs of fairies, again of the non-entrancing variety. Almost as soon as they perceived the clamor from the right, the same came from the left. ¡°Battle comes,¡± intoned the worker who employed a constellation of hairpins to compose the great silvery mass she kept up there.

 20. And Then, The Fury Of Arms!

    The Adabans looked around at the absence of people, mines, farms, or anything productive; the similar lack of fortifications, even a checkpoint on the border; and the sheet of grass interrupted only by perfectly straight trees and not a single road conducive to the movement of armies. ¡°For what reason?¡± all three asked together.


    Yurvitas frowned at them. ¡°They''re fighting for the privilege of calling themselves Hacanthu. Am I the only one capable of listening in this bizarre world? Do I have a hidden class ability?¡±


    ¡°Ah, the motive for the campaign is clear,¡± Dirant assured him. ¡°It is the imminent battle which is subject to skepticism. Certainly the scouts must encounter each other, and that will be the extent of it if the commanders control their troops and are not merely at their head. That is a common situation certainly.¡±


    Torn between embarrassment over misunderstanding the question and condescension toward Adabans who thought of nothing but war, Yurvitas said ¡°Oh¡± and let the matter drop. The fairies meanwhile comported themselves in the manner of children leaving their first professional music performance. They joined together in reprising everything they had just heard and sometimes breaking away to run a lap, their excitement impossible to suppress had they wished to do so. Exotic ideas such as scouting and maneuver created in their minds new conceptual areas, much as a youth who gets his pay for the first time must find a place to put his wealth and has more pleasure from that than all the subsequent income he brings in, however larger.


    That was one way to pass the time before the battle. Nobody wanted to move before it took place, and those adamant it would not take place nevertheless thought armies better avoided by the civilian who had nothing to sell. The humans sat down to rest and occasionally called out a martial term such as ¡°ambuscade¡± or ¡°debouch¡± for amusement, both theirs and the fairies''.


    Two armies did appear, though if not for the magnificence of their shining arms and personal appearances they would have been better described as gangs. They marched in no good order, and neither did the soldiers share any principles regarding their equipment. A scattered few wore armor, and though a historian informed of the spectacle would surmise those fairies belonged to the set of those financially capable of outfitting themselves, any fairy expert would agree they did it for wholly aesthetic reasons.


    After looking over the eighty or so fairies in each force, Wiuyo made what may have been a dismissive gesture. It resembled to the humans the act of shoving away an unfavorable contract at least. ¡°This is a vacation, not a skirmish. Neither side is led by a valiant king or daring queen.¡±


    ¡°Wiuyo''s been away too long,¡± a work fairy opined. He had two rings on each hand, earning him the name of Ring Fairy in Dirant''s mind, which had little facility with nicknames. ¡°Wiuyo''s out of fashion. The strongest send out generals now.¡±


    ¡°Not all of them.¡±


    ¡°They will!¡±


    ¡°Zatdil refuses.¡±


    ¡°He''ll change his mind or he''ll lose.¡±


    ¡°No generals are present,¡± Hairpin Fairy declared.


    ¡°Wiuyo was right the whole time!¡±


    At that, Wiuyo put on the smuggest expression Dirant had ever seen, though she wore it briefly. A battle, no matter how inconsequential, demanded gravity, and one was about to begin for all that every text on martial science advised against it. The two forces, both scoutless, saw each other and charged without taking the simplest precautions such as seizing a hill, digging spikes, or even shifting from a marching formation to one appropriate for greeting the enemy. Taomenk gurgled, too disgusted to condemn such careless war-waging in words, and even Aptezor squinted and wrinkled his nose while of course not turning aside from the subject of an upcoming article. He was up to ten or twelve of those.


    What the hostile fairies lacked in tactics, they lacked in most other areas. Unit cohesion for example. Nevertheless, it was impossible that so many weapons might be brought against such a quantity of flesh without some effect, and soon fairies were hacking one another apart with wild swings. That was another error. Once a soldier is killed or sufficiently wounded, there is nothing but danger and inefficiency in cutting him up more, the Adabans wanted to shout and the Survyai actually did. Yurvitas may not have pretended to any knowledge of warfare, but he understood wasted effort.


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    The slaughter began evenly, but once superior skill or luck gave one side the advantage, it compounded, loan-like, until thirty fairies accepted the surrender of five. The thirty-five cheered with equal boisterousness regardless of their allegiance and began dragging corpses away.


    ¡°Follow them if you want water,¡± Hairpin Fairy proclaimed.


    ¡°Water used for burial doesn''t interest me.¡± Evidently such a practice was known in Yean Defiafi, for Yurvitas alone of the men was other than perplexed by the proclamation


    Their guides decided to trail after the departing soldiers without regard for his distaste. In a clear demonstration of the ephemerality of squeamishness, so did Yurvitas, though after Aptezor first, Taomenk second, and Dirant third. Any insight to their characters indicated by the order was best left for later consideration.


    Travel through the lake district was more pleasurable for the eye if identical for the feet. Patches of flowers farther from border relieved the monotony of green, and the occasional stone pile which resembled a beast, person, or setting for an archaic ceremony provided a less colorful but more solid contrast. The war fairies eventually led them all unheeding to a lake, or a pool to those with no need to flatter it. Waters collected in a depression amid three hills to give the sky and clouds a look at themselves and perhaps encourage them to pursue self-improvement, perhaps working up a nice little breeze for once.


    Thirty-five jovial fairies threw in seventeen corpses and returned for more. Seventeen more fairies swam out of the pool and ran to catch up.


    Taomenk exhaled. ¡°That went as predicted. I had other guesses, be confident of that, but that was one.¡±


    ¡°The process is much less elaborate than I thought. I suppose it''s been embellished.¡± Aptezor began to take a step forward, but caution intervened. ¡°I think we ought to take Mr. Doltandon''s advice and look for more water.¡±


    They found a stream without further incident except for the intellectual adventure of deducing its source, since none was evident or could be made so without the intervention of a gigantic, earth-cleaving sword.


    ¡°Such a geological survey I believe to be useless here,¡± Dirant opined. ¡°The source is fairy magic and nothing else.¡±


    Taomenk held the opposing view. ¡°Not that it isn''t within their power, but it''s too final. Not subject to elaboration. No, this stream wanders all about, probably as a prototype of an underground canal system.¡±


    The dispute did not extend to the virtues of the water, which all agreed had rejuvenating qualities equal to the legendary fruit which Egille reportedly declined when offered it by the gods on the grounds that he had no wish to outlive his great-grandchildren, with the sole difference between them being that the stream was real. Thus refreshed, Taomenk, Yurvitas, Dirant, and Aptezor, in order of seniority, were ready to worry about their companions again. Therefore Dirant, Aptezor, Taomenk, and Yurvitas, in order of anxiety, resumed their fairy journey.


    To distract from the feeling, Dirant proposed to test a theory. ¡°The Ertithans,¡± he said most slyly, ¡°must have composed many lyrics about battles more impressive than those.¡±


    ¡°They did,¡± Wiuyo confirmed, and though that ¡°they¡± disappointed, a supposition rejected is better than one which languishes in an unprovable state, Dirant and Taomenk consoled each other by saying.


    Not long afterward, Ring Fairy asked, ¡°Are you interested in meeting a general? They''re all humans like you. Somewhat like you.¡±


    The answer was too obvious to record, though Aptezor did for occupation-related reasons. Moreover, none of the humans needed to voice the suspicion that all shared, namely that the two missing people whose absence occasioned their recent hardship were identical to two of the generals, to say nothing of their previous companions. They did voice it, but only in failed attempts to get the fairies to divulge the names of said generals.


    Ring Fairy knew just where to go. He had spent time at the drill grounds established by one such imported expert before he decided the military life was better lived by others, at least for that week. He conducted the troupe thither at his theoretical employer''s command.


    A simple split-rail fence marked off the training area, and inside those largely symbolic boundaries dozens of dazzling fairies lounged, played, or watched a single woman likely from Greater Enloffenkir beg them to stand in a line to start, just stand there shoulder to shoulder, there was nothing complicated about it. A portion of the presumed trainees listened, shuffled around a bit, and ended up in a different but no less chaotic jumble, whereupon the Grenlofer woman turned away and began to whisper either a prayer or a curse to the uncaring air.


    She looked young, if not quite Aptezor young, and not at all warlike in her class or inclinations, though there is nothing sure in an impression. Neither did she belong to the fashionable circles as Dirant understood them, for she wore the combination of heavy coat and skirt adopted by GE women when on the road rather than the drawing room. While she began her hairstyle with low, even bangs above the eyes, the popular foundation of the day, she deviated from the customary by cutting the rest of it off at her shoulders. Furthermore, she had freckles, which most regarded as a mistake. Dirant had a single reason to be pleased at Takki''s absence in that were she there, he might have been forced to admit he struggled in identifying the lady''s tribe. Either Adaban or Ottkir, he suspected.

 21. Thence, Hither, And Ever Agley

    When she saw the newcomers, her reaction was not quite so analytical. She abandoned her duties to her troops and ran for the gate while yelling out questions without any pause for answers, likely habituated by recent experiences to expect none. ¡°Hello! You are human, are you not? Adabans or so? To say our meeting is a blessing is the usual thing, but is this not the truest statement to make right now? Have you heard I was missing? My name is Gelfid Etenkloss. Is a way to get out of here known to you? Are those fairies your captors? Have you met Queen Ydridd? Is she bored with me yet, or is she not?¡±


    Doltandon Yurvitas did not care either to introduce himself or to inform a lady he had never heard of her, the most grievous indelicacy which could be committed according to Yean Defiafi''s system of etiquette. He instead picked out the question most of moment and answered that. ¡°Miss Gelfid, what I beg you to understand is that far from being unfriendly, these fairies with us have agreed to accept employment in my construction crew.¡± He turned and indicated them with a bow. ¡°It is of course unnecessary to introduce them.¡±


    ¡°Have we just been insulted?¡±


    ¡°The perfect boss!¡±


    ¡°I''m Wiuyo the bard. I''m not a construction worker. I build ephemeral structures that fade away with the last note, the last breath, the end of dreams.¡±


    Not before then did Dirant form the hypothesis that the labor fairies refrained from giving their names out of a sense of inferior provenance rather than general insensitivity to social niceties. Perhaps they had taken their names, not from kings or acclaimed musicians, but from people who had dug tunnels slightly faster than the competition. He felt no shame at his own name for all that some of his brothers had cause for complaint against their father nor any reluctance to admit not everyone knew him already, and therefore he stepped in to perform introductions and subsequently address Gelfid''s inquiries to the extent that he remembered them.


    ¡°We are human, three of us Adabans and one a Survyai of Yean Defiafi. Our appearance doubtless clarifies who may claim membership in which. There have been several suspected disappearances in the vicinity of Ividottlof, a circumstance we along with several others decided to investigate, and it is a relief to have found one of the missing. Effecting a rescue of all of them is now within the limits of reasonable hope, and our plan to do so, while not yet tested in practice, is likely to meet with success. Any information you are able to provide about the situation here, and this Queen Ydridd whom we have not met, is more than fairies will tell us. Is it true that the strongest fairies are delegating military affairs to generals as a more effective method of advancing their interests, or?¡±


    Gelfid nodded, glum like an employee who receives an expected dismissal while outside the office waits a coworker who soon will be promoted to the position thus vacated. ¡°That was about all Queen Ydridd did tell me, that she needs a human general if she wants to claim Hacanthu''s legacy. Ah, and that Hacanthu is the most extraordinary king ever born. He killed an Omega Master, you see. I''m not a person who knows about Omega Masters, am I? I''ve never heard the term, or of Hacanthu, and I''m not a general. I was in one fight in my life, and we pulled each other''s hair for a bit before her brother broke it up. We were ten. Why am I here?¡± At last she surrendered to tears. Doltandon Yurvitas offered her a handkerchief, one of five he kept on his person to meet the needs of different circumstances as far as the prestige of the person involved and solemnity of the moment.


    ¡°Thank you, Mr. Doltandon.¡± The opportunity to express her many woes to her brothers in humanity who moreover offered hope of release had disordered Gelfid''s emotions for but a short time. Already her natural optimism was reclaiming its wonted supremacy. ¡°It hasn''t been as bad as I thought it would be, from the stories and such. Queen Ydridd hasn''t mistreated me except when she forces me to watch fairies hack each other up and come back to life. It makes me sick. I think she doesn''t understand that not all of us are good at war. And her castle is the loveliest edifice I have ever seen. It''s just that it''s better to be free in a hut than caged in a palace, is it not? We all say that, but I mean it now with complete, unshakable sincerity.¡±


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    ¡°We''d see some progress if we all reflected that way, and they have the brains, but they don''t have the breadth of experience,¡± Taomenk praised.


    ¡°I suppose they don''t, Mr. Taomenk.¡± If the exchange puzzled Gelfid, and it did, her reaction when the engineer expounded on his more esoteric theories would be something to see.


    Yurvitas put a stop to that. ¡°About what shall I inquire further? Everything you''ve said is interesting, though I''m bewildered when I try to figure whether the news is more compelling or if its deliverer is, Mrs. Gelfid.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, sir. Ah, I''m not married, but that''s a small thing.¡±


    She intended to smooth over any awkwardness occasioned by his excusable mistake, just as he planned. ¡°An inexplicable state,¡± he stated with an attitude of disbelief. Yurvitas turned an accusing eye on his Adaban fellows to imply they were to blame for allowing such a situation to develop, unambiguous proof of a deficiency of judgment.


    It was a routine species of flattery which would not have worked for one of the Adabans, since they knew the invariable custom in the GE to be that ¡°Mrs.¡± must be followed by the husband''s name which she would have been included in her self-introduction had it existed. Yurvitas knew that as well of course, but he exploited the pretense of ignorance. The Adaban men did not take exception to such a commonplace despite being forced to play the villains of the piece, but evidently Gelfid was unfamiliar with it. Every part of her blushed except for the freckles, and they considered joining in. Mr. Doltandon was after all a gentleman of Yean Defiafi and perforce far more sophisticated than the local assortment who were called gentlemen more out of courtesy than desert. His hat alone outshone all her previous acquaintances even if she generously exempted their personalities from consideration. ¡°It has so far worked out so,¡± was all she could think to say. Doubtless she would reproach herself for that later.


    ¡°Miss Gelfid,¡± the gentleman resumed, ¡°what are the characteristics of this castle? Are the stories at least accurate when it comes to fay riches?¡±


    ¡°There is nothing surer than that they are! The castle sits in the middle of the lake, a great ring it is, and it might really be a ring of a substance I don''t know, for you can walk right across it.¡±


    ¡°Astounding!¡±


    She nodded vigorously, or foolishly as she would think of it during her reproaching session. ¡°The foot, you see, when it steps, sends out ripples. When all the fairies dance there, oh, the stories become believable. When they speak though, well, everything is subject to embellishment, and there is not so much majesty in a fairy kingdom as a little girl supposes. That is not what you asked. I can say nothing about how defensible the castle is save that if Queen Ydridd designed it more for looks than function, she could not have done better. Inside, it is exactly one of the scenes if you know the kind when the author describes countless signs of abundance, gems and fabrics and so, that you do not understand the half of them and make up your own images. Well, probably you know them all, sir.¡±


    ¡°Shall we go through them together someday? I had better not stray too far from the topic, since my dependable companions don''t deserve to have their patience tested. Her Majesty Ydridd, how bent is she on having humans for her officers? For instance, if we simply ran off with you, would she be much upset or accept it as blandly as these fairies let so much else go by them? Can she be persuaded there are better candidates for the position, do you think?¡±


    ¡°I tried to run off and she carried me back, you can believe. Can she be persuaded? I think she can be persuaded of anything with the right approach, but what do I know about negotiations if they aren''t, ''You must deliver this letter to this remote cabin for this fee,'' or similar?¡±


    ¡°I see.¡± Yurvitas descended into silence while he pondered the situation and revolved some plot to achieve the most desirable results possible for him, his colleagues, and their newest acquaintance. He adjusted his hat several times despite its needing none at all, squeezed his eyes as if he needed juice, and made a frown like the waning moon from the effort before he relaxed and said, ¡°Miss Gelfid, what would you say if say I have a way to secure your rightful liberty? Will you trust me?¡±


    ¡°Oh, yes, sir.¡±


    ¡°And Queen Ydridd is rich?¡±


    ¡°Ridiculously so, sir.¡±


    Yurvitas smiled at his comrades, who took heart at his confidence.

 22. A Remembrance, And A Heartfelt One

    It was a nice room for a jail. The prison Stadeskosken converted into a warehouse after the city relocated its penal facilities nearer the new courthouse smelled like mingled despair and the Mold Prevention Ritual while this place might have been a perfume store. Moreover, a window high above let in more than enough light to aid the prisoners in appreciating the decorative details in the tiny section of Ydridd''s castle they were allowed to view.


    The confining walls did not describe a simple rectangle but rather formed little swells and depressions as if the three inmates were locked inside a clam. Panels divided the white walls yet further, each of them outlined in gold and surrounding some delicate etched figure, a rearing horse for instance, or a falcon mid-dive and aiming at its prey. The floor might have been crafted out of a single slab of glossy green material; its name assuredly had been included in many a litany of luxuries. Such smoothness and polish did it have that Dirant and Aptezor feared to walk on it and leave smudges. Taomenk, for his part, paced the room while mumbling.


    Nothing so crude as brick, stone, or iron prevented them from resuming their journey. A delicate bronze lattice barred the holding cell''s inmates from the corridor, and to call it a cell reflected its present purpose alone. It could have functioned as a lounge if the unsightly prisoners were relocated to the nearest cemetery. Fairies waved as they passed, behavior which added to the situation an amount of friendliness which otherwise would have been much missed. The three were down one friend, and their sole consolation was knowing Ydridd had given him a carpet covered with gems as payment for three officer candidates after he ordered his labor fairies to fall on them and enact a capture.


    ¡°Mr. Aptezor, nothing I say about Doltandon Yurvitas has the power to retrieve this situation.¡±


    ¡°That is so, Mr. Dirant. What is your opinion of his actions from a commercial viewpoint?¡±


    ¡°They indicate an absence of care for more than the immediate future. He is now rich, provided those are not the type of fairy treasure which dissolves in the sun, in the hand of an honest man, or upon contact with a sounder material such as silver, and little good it will do him without access to financial institutions and investment opportunities.¡±


    ¡°But Mr. Dirant, he may able to call upon Queen Ydridd''s extensive resources to expedite his tunneling efforts.¡±


    ¡°Perhaps so. Without Mr. Taomenk''s calculations, I am not convinced as to the productiveness thereof. What is the probability you will assist him now, Mr. Taomenk?¡±


    ¡°There''s no question there. When the last Doltandon dies, at last we''ll have gotten somewhere.¡±


    ¡°That is my opinion as well, Mr. Taomenk.¡± Dirant reviewed all the assassination rituals he knew. It was a short review, the shortest possible in fact. Still unable to do more than chatter, he did exactly that. ¡°He may perhaps believe he can rely on certain incentives to persuade you to assist him. Art works are often stolen only to be sold back to their owners, it is said.¡±


    ¡°He''s wrong if so.¡±


    ¡°I would have advised him to that effect if asked. That is a lesson in the value of consulting a range of persons. Are there methods any among us knows for reaching remote windows or dissolving bronze?¡±


    Aptezor assigned his complete attention to the question before he informed Dirant he had not learned any such in the five minutes since the last time he was asked, either through leveling or a newly acquired optional ability. ¡°It seems my class treats fairies the same as everyone else,¡± he theorized. That class he had revealed to be Functionary, one no more suited to clever escapes than Ritualist and far less than Visionary. Unfortunately, Taomenk''s interests had taken him along a different road.


    The three generally law-abiding men (so far as they understood the laws) failed to extract themselves, and so a set of fairy guards did it for them. They led the trio through halls of such opulence in terms of portable items such as tapestries in addition to immovable architectural splendor that their hands twitched and dreams of financial security made bold to descend upon them without the usual aid of slumber. The gradual increase in lavishness ought to have prepared them for Queen Ydridd''s audience hall, and it did. None of the three tried to seize a sculpture of a dove plated in silver and accented with more than a few diamonds before jumping through a window to chance an impossible escape as they assuredly would have done had they appeared there without preparation.


    Ydridd stood before her throne, perhaps because it defied efforts to sit on it. The seat began somewhere around her shoulders and the back extended to the ceiling some eight or nine Ydridds above. Even if she had ordered her subjects to fetch a ladder from the nearest iron-marble-gold-silver cottage to get her up there, its hard, reflective contours made from some sort of colored glass or polished metal would have distorted her image into something far from regal. There were no cushions either.


    The fairy queen''s pose did not comport with the highest standards of royal dignity. Standing as she did with one hand''s knuckles on her right hip which was turned slightly toward the hall and her head twisted a bit too, she gave the appearance of someone arrested in a stroll by a call from behind and who, upon seeing the caller, no longer considered a complete rotation to be worth the minor physical strain. Dirant knew several young men who would have enjoyed the general attitude, excessively so. A broader segment would have enthused both in public and private about her figure, though in different terms, going so far as to employ ¡°pulchritudinous¡± in the former setting and in the latter, incoherent noises. The decision she made about her appearance most likely to cause argument pertained to her hair, which she had cultivated to resemble in color, shape, and volume the mane of a lion. Perhaps her dedication to rule was therein signified.


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    ¡°You are here that I may decide.¡± That Ydridd had chosen queen as her career rather than bard was lucky for Wiuyo and further evidence for the proposition pushed by critics that past every success in entertainment stood a dozen people superior in talent, ignored and often pleased to be so. ¡°Who is to serve as my general? One alone among you. But you all will serve.¡±


    Glittering amethyst eyes studied the three and seemed to penetrate their flesh with precision reminiscent of the perfect angles of a professionally cut gem. Dirant reminded himself of the unreliability of words such as ¡°seemed¡± and the folly of conflating presentation with substance; the evidence he had of her judgment consisted of the facts that she elevated a small-town freelance courier to her highest military position and was convinced to replace her after a full three hours of arguments by Doltandon Yurvitas bolstered by testimony from Wiuyo and the tunnel fairies about the newcomers'' prowess in ogre-escaping and their trenchant martial commentary. Only one of those erstwhile companions bore Dirant''s ire (and bore it lightly enough), since the fairies had merely told the truth when asked. Come to think of it, they never told the truth when he asked. He distributed a portion of ire to them after all.


    The physical examination portion of the group interview ended. Queen Ydridd moved to interrogating them as to their experience in the industry. ¡°How many people have you killed? You on the left first.¡±


    ¡°None,¡± Dirant answered.


    ¡°Middle.¡±


    ¡°At times I wonder. Better planning, better materials, more convincing arguments . . . Did they have to die?¡± Taomenk spoke to an audience far away. The situation prevented the men flanking him from displaying any sympathy, but they felt it.


    ¡°With your own hands, please.¡±


    He jerked back to the present and definite. ¡°Ah. Not a one.¡±


    ¡°Right.¡±


    ¡°None, but both Mr. Zidenk Geshtilk and the Blue Tiger emphasized when I interviewed them that the view which presumes the role of an army is to kill an enemy is entirely mistaken. The crucial step before embarking on a military action is to identify its specific purpose. Better yet, before assembling the soldiers and supplies. Mr. Zidenk admitted in total frankness that half his employers should not have hired him at all. They did so because of a failure to choose methods suited to the outcome.¡±


    ¡°What is your name?¡± The voice stayed imperious, but Ydridd''s face belonged to someone who had no idea what was going on.


    ¡°Aptezor Ristaofen. If . . . it please Your Majesty?¡± Halfway through a royal audience was no occasion to practice unfamiliar etiquette; moreover, Queen Ydridd''s presence caused a feeling of constriction in the humans far unlike what Dirant experienced when meeting a crown prince and closer to sensations caused by baleful monsters. Aptezor therefore ought not be censured for maintaining imperfect composure but rather praised for keeping any at all, his companions reasoned.


    ¡°Aptezor Ristaofen, explain everything you just said until we understand it. We see fragments of the outside world in dreams. A hunt, a ballroom, a festival. Elucidate the rest.¡±


    Countless tracts of political philosophy as well as anecdotes from Chtrebliseu to Yean Defiafi and past those kingdoms to other continents altogether have addressed the myriad difficulties there can be in satisfying the royal command, but they all failed to anticipate the problems Aptezor faced explaining he had once covered a scuffle between two city-states of Greater Enloffenkir. Concepts such as ¡°cover,¡± ¡°city-state,¡± and ¡°Greater Enloffenkir¡± were entirely alien to the great fairy, though she understood ¡°scuffle¡± well enough. The account wandered through time backwards and forwards in no set order but as responses to the queen''s demands for clarification.


    ¡°What do you mean by 498?¡± Stlintotenlilkishkir 498, he said, and of course nothing so simple as that sufficed. With the assistance of his fellow Adabans, Aptezor laid out the immediate strategic significance, the wider political implications, and the civic symbolism of the Battle of Stlintotenlilk, not to mention several involved personalities. Fairy courtiers around the throne room fell to brawling over who had precedence in naming himself after various Adaban, Rik, Mabonn, and Dvanjchtliv officers and statesmen involved in the events surrounding that unanticipated lever inserted into the continent''s affairs, as Dirant recalled some historian putting it.


    In a blow to Adaban pride, Ipparenolt Fenktesfoken started few fights despite being the overall commander of the victorious side. The fairies far preferred the incident of Koshtant Mefal, the Rik general to whom the plan of the campaign was generally attributed, and Duke Tlegnu, the last of the Dvanjchtliv heroes in the slightly disingenuous estimation of every Grenlofer. The story that the duke''s son refused to commit his cavalry to a charge he considered foolhardy only to have the father shove him off his mount and take it himself, whereupon the valiant duke achieved a breach of the enemy flank which took him to Koshtant so that the duke slew the enemy general, a rare occurrence in that era of warfare, inflamed the fairy soul no less than it did that of the Adaban or the Dvanjchtliv.


    Evidently the confinement which Yurvitas''s labor fairies yearned to terminate had lasted more than five hundred years. Recognizing that, Aptezor, once the matter was accepted as thoroughly understood on both sides, decided to be helpful. ¡°The relevant year may be referred to as Nidanz 2469 if that is more convenient for Your Majesty.¡± That did it.


    A brief history of Egillen from the arrival of that Egille from whom the continent derived its name to the present day did not exist, and the impromptu effort on the part of the prisoners to construct one caused tangles which required yet more digressions to straighten. Just as Miss Gelfid attested, Ydridd shunned cruelty and provided refreshments for her tutors, but nevertheless she made them talk.


    They went over as much as was known of the population at his advent, which was little, and proceeded to set forth the orthodox timeline regarding the flourishing of his colonists, their setbacks, and their many wars through the foundings of countries up to the age of the great Survyaian empires. The common student was more confident in his knowledge of how the empires crumbled when their weakness became exposed by the harassment of the Obenec raiders who abused innovative transportation technologies and doctrines of combined naval and land warfare for invidious ends, culminating in the irruption from the Dvanj Plateau.


    From there, every Adaban had as his tribal inheritance, and every Rik and Mabonn as well with Ottkirs and Hewekers sharing it to a lesser extent, the pride of how successfully his ancestors resisted the Dvanjchtliv when so many fell under his sway, undone by his heroic savagery and monstrous excellence in war until that battle discussed earlier which forever severed the western Dvanjchtlivs of what is now Chtrebliseu from their homelands in the east, today called Swadvanchdeu.

 23. For Coarseness Alone Did Men Fall And Die

    Once he and his assistants finished that introductory segment which covered far more material than the main point, a task made harder by the need to hop over the occasional pair of fairies who rolled under them while wrestling over a notable historical figure, the criterion for victory somewhat unclear, Aptezor asked the queen if she was satisfied as to the background. She reflected and gave her judgment. ¡°Egille is very impressive, but we will accept nothing less than Hacanthu. Now continue.¡±


    That set off more contests for that famous name among fairies who had waited in the event Ydridd wanted it, but nothing that impaired a primer on the structure of the confederacy and the widespread employment of condottieri to wage wars between member states or smaller legal entities, whether a bank, an association of jewelers, or an especially rich man with a grudge.


    ¡°That is what we require,¡± Ydridd affirmed. ¡°A condottiero.¡±


    From there, the route was clear for Aptezor to explain the Coarse Hasp War and the comments the involved commanders had made about warfare. He genuinely believed that. What he forgot was that fairies practiced primitive forms of information transmission such as gossip and waiting for a bard to pass by. The modern system of reporters and thinkers who filled publications issued at regular schedules (if the manager liked his job) which printers produced and transportation networks distributed over hundreds of miles was as alien to fairies as loyalty was to subjects of Yean Defiafi who changed their class in response to comments from their aunts suggestive of imminent penury.


    The Amlizen Crier''s correspondent in Iflarent''s Hideout fortuitously happened to have made a study of the history of his profession, deeming such knowledge essential to the proper execution of his duties. Even the second-most conscientious reporter in the GE might have laughed to hear that, if a bit anxiously, as if reconsidering his own dedication. Aptezor''s thorough account left the fairies entirely certain that they no longer cared. He was a paid gossiper, a highly respectable occupation, and that satisfied them. It was time for a war, preferably a messy one, described by someone who knew something about it, and Aptezor qualified.


    He related the causes both patent and suspected in brief, since fairies and the Crier''s readers aligned in their desire for context: They wanted to have it, but not to dwell on it. The personalities he gave more detail. Aptezor belonged to the school which tied the maneuvers and decisions of the armies to the varying characters of their condottieri in the preferred style of most broadsheets and fairies.


    Mr. Zidenk belonged to the Distorter class. Its enigmatic abilities defied comprehension on the part of its practitioners as much as by everyone else, and Zidenk did not dispute the opinion of the typical condottiero-follower that his tactics possessed the same unpredictable tendency. Far from that, he exaggerated his own eccentricity by letting his hair, now gray, grow long and wavy and by wearing unconventional clothing such as fur coats and pants dyed to present one continuous color, yellow for instance. The more analytical type saw through that and told everyone amenable to such lectures that in every matter of logistics, strategy, and tactics he took an unfailingly orthodox approach. Zidenk''s interviews, while ornamented with improbable anecdotes such as the occasion he directed a battle from inside a well, revealed a practical outlook not much given to extravagance in conception.


    The Blue Tiger''s nickname indicated her class. While many Tiger Knights existed, few of their tiger partners had the blue tinge to their fur which hers displayed, a point of pride both to her and the tiger itself, which suffered skeptics to examine it thoroughly for signs of artificial coloration never yet found. By that nickname alone was she known, the proper one her parents chose lost in her mysterious past.


    ¡°Public records state unambiguously that she is Marag Saobensir, the wife of Baron Estagol Ikpikleskir, but when both the subject and the reading public prefer for us to call her something else, we accommodate them,¡± Aptezor explained.


    ¡°We understand that and approve fully.¡± Ydridd, who at last needed no explanation on a point of modern culture, said that while she bore the expression of a conqueror about to grant clemency to the defeated ruler, knowing how sharply the insult of considering him no threat to her rule will prick him.


    Tiger Knights, in the common condottieri-following wisdom, comprehended the importance of outnumbering the opposition but often failed to ensure they actually did, deceived by the constant presence of their tigers into doubling the numbers of all their troops subconsciously. ¡°The common wisdom is correct,¡± Blue Tiger admitted to the reporter, ¡°but I have never so far failed to complete the terms of a contract on account of it.¡± She went on to emphasize the importance of negotiating contracts so that they rewarded performance unrelated to the outcome of the conflict at hand. As much as every condottiera desired to collect famous victories as others did coins, experience taught her that the attainment of such often was frustrated by external factors, most saliently the employing entity itself. The event proved the justice of her observation, since her city decided to yield to Zidenk''s without his winning a pitched contest or so much as, in her opinion, achieving a meaningful advantage in position.


    A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.


    Condottieri wars occurred frequently, and among them, the Coarse Hasp War stood out in no way whatever. The most Dirant was confident in saying was that he recalled some friends telling him what a risk was taken in hiring the erratic Zidenk Geshtilk. Taomenk for his part had missed it entirely. Even for Aptezor, a man professionally involved with the incident, the result of chief significance was a note the Blue Tiger sent to him afterward thanking him for describing her in his articles as comely, ¡°a term gratifying to have applied to oneself but not something susceptible to condemnation on grounds of exaggeration to the point of dishonesty.¡± She professed that Baron Estagol had begun using the compliment, so apposite did he find it.


    As unimpressive as the war seemed to the Adaban, the fairies had no defense against its allure, much like the visitor to an archaeological site who out of inexperience marvels at the remaining fragments of a mosaic, each of them smaller than his thumb, even as the university backing the expedition calls in the organizer to explain why funding ought to continue in the face of such meager results. Challengers vying for one venerable name or another ceased their contests and immediately resumed them on a different basis, that being who got to be the blue tiger (the tiger itself; the existence of a blue one struck fairies as odd to the same degree as it did humans) while eager participants in the long-running Hacanthu conflicts looked back on their mighty battles and saw them as pitiful things which shamed the participants.


    ¡°We have decided. Aptezor is my general. You no longer need your last name. You and you will serve as his captains. Gelfid may do as she wishes, with our gratitude.¡± Ydridd would have returned to her throne to signal the finality of her decision except that the earlier problems persisted.


    ¡°Miss Gelfid and I are the same class.¡± General Aptezor meant that as justification. His captains had been unable to persuade him none was necessary. They understood.


    The plan they had devised gave them the best chance of resolving the situation in the most favorable manner for the participants they wanted to succeed. They still thought that. Their opinions as to the likelihood of carrying it out, however, shifted toward the pessimistic at every step. Fairies were still fairies, after all, and the enthusiasm inspired in them by the retelling of the tempestuous Coarse Hasp War which conferred a willingness to act slightly soldier-like was already fading. Aptezor did manage to get his fairies to stand in a line because of a firmer hand and, if not confidence in his martial acumen, less obvious aversion to the affairs of the spear. He had not yet learned what a momentous achievement that was.


    The officers had quickly dismissed as infeasible the plan which appealed to them the most, that of cultivating the army''s loyalty as the first step toward overthrowing Ydridd and installing a government more responsive to the citizenry and constituted from its members provided they met the qualifications of having attained a minimum rank of captain. Aside from the immediate benefits, Takki, when she was found, might have appreciated the homage to her homeland''s history.


    The second proposal combined practicality with an estimation of the fairy character as revealed through personal interaction. ¡°Suppose the war comes to a successful conclusion in a deliberate manner bereft of flair,¡± Dirant posited. He and his colleagues were making use of the cabin the queen had bestowed on them for use as a headquarters. The window which looked across the lake at the castle was best avoided, they discovered, on the grounds that it reduced them to stares of awe. ¡°If a condottiero must be your model, make him Kelnsolt Aradetnaf. By this method we may avoid the probable outcome of an exciting campaign wherein the queen immediately sets us some other task to forestall boredom. Instead she will I hope send us on our way while at the same time permitting us to hire her fairies for your tunnel, Mr. Taomenk.¡±


    ¡°That''s foresight, Mr. Dirant,¡± the engineer approved. ¡°Winning it, though. That''s the wall.¡±


    ¡°I see no especial reason for confidence,¡± Aptezor said. ¡°I''m not converted into a real general because a fairy insists I have to be one, and there are no military texts here for me to study.¡±


    ¡°Your skepticism, or rather the high intellect which is its source, adds to my confidence we will accomplish an escape from our predicament. Now I must impose upon you gentlemen to entertain the reasons for optimism I wish to put forward.¡± They indicated a willingness to do so by anticipatory looks.


    ¡°Among them there is the matter of the combat experience we have which, while smaller than the pearl produced by a very inferior oyster, is nevertheless worth more than the pebble Miss Gelfid offers, and that is not an insult to her.¡± There was an impeccably honest yet deceptive quality to that ¡°we,¡± encompassing as it did both Aptezor and Dirant without requiring him to divulge the story of his own conquest, which he had no desire to do. ¡°The other generals are likely to be of a similar type, since so far as we know, the fairies are simply grabbing people who arrive here via the distortion near Ividottlof, a region not renowned for military accomplishment. There is of course one exception, if the fairies are able to perceive it.¡±


    ¡°On that point, Mr. Dirant, would you be opposed to informing the public what emotions you expect to feel should we encounter your friend Mr. Medant in the field?¡±


    Dirant smiled, whereupon Taomenk said, ¡°Ah, I perceive it now. Admittedly, I am slow in these matters. A proclamation converts a reporter into a general no more than it makes strangers enemies.¡±


    ¡°It is so. The fairies are the obstacle far more than the generals, whom we must win over to our side or join ourselves according to the specifics. As for the troops, we may hope ours are enough for theirs, and there is one circumstance which may be of assistance. I came across during my education a collection of rituals which purport to affect fairies.¡±


    That conversation had sufficed to let Aptezor see about his army with some degree of assurance. A day later he was making excuses based on his Functionary class and requesting that his Ritualist captain do his job already, though not of course so peremptorily as that. Dirant''s personal sense of responsibility was not as delicate, and obeying its insistent commands, he prepared a corner of the training ground using tools and components requisitioned from the queen''s treasury.

 24. Train Your Limbs, Children, Before You Reach For Your Arms

    ¡°Mr. Dirant, is it a part of the ritual for you to hum and chuckle to yourself?¡± There was another article for Aptezor to write, though perhaps not for the Amlizen Crier. The habits of Ritualists interested a niche audience and one not geographically concentrated.


    Perhaps Dirant''s sense of responsibility contributed less to his attitude than the license to use resources he would never again possess, or if he did, be willing to expend on questionable rituals. The crushed pearls which put certain comparisons in his head for example could never be uncrushed.


    <blockquote>


    +1 to Verve gained.


    </blockquote>


    Dirant finished one design and straightened. ¡°No, and neither does it require that I not. The first attempt is the Fairy Fascination Ritual. This is unlike the Fascination Ritual not only in working on fairies rather than humans but also in the effect. It does not, according to the instructions, cause the subjects to stare helplessly, but rather interferes with the innate magic of fairies, causing them to forget what they were doing before they stopped to fix it, thereby giving you the chance to grab their attention.¡±


    ¡°I am ready.¡±


    ¡°Please order you soldiers to, ah, they already have.¡± Curious fairies gathered around the design without any command, obviating the difficulty of rounding up test subjects which often stymied academic Ritualists. Supplied with volunteer celebrants, Dirant stepped into the center of the design and laced his fingers together with his left thumb over his right, his right index finger over his left index, middle, and ring fingers, and his right little finger over his left.


    Around and above every fairy nearby the air became distorted and wavy as if a fire had been set under each of them, though not a hot one to judge by their reactions. One of those temperate fires. A good amount of turning in circles occurred. Half patted themselves down in the manner of a man searching for his keys while the other half looked up, frowning, perhaps to register their mild displeasure with the gods if indeed some happened to be looking down.


    While the fairies did leave off from their previous activities because of the Fairy Fascination Ritual, in no way did that enable Aptezor to strengthen his influence. Instead, his soldiers began wandering off, sometimes muttering like an imprisoned engineer, until Dirant revoked the ritual. Fortunately, the Fairy Fascination Ritual''s revocation was much simpler and faster than the human version, requiring only that he arrange his fingers in the opposite configuration while holding between the thumbs a small iron disc included in the original ritual. The fairies hustled back.


    ¡°Do another one!¡±


    ¡°That felt weird. I''m not sure if I liked it or not.¡±


    ¡°Yes, please do another one.¡±


    Aptezor raised a hesitating voice. ¡°The ritual worked.¡± He was daring enough to offer a plain description, but to criticize a senior and a specialist at that was too much for someone who had not yet embraced his recently gained rank.


    ¡°General, your transparent leadership style allows your captains to anticipate you in many of your judgments. While not without its potential and something worth testing, the Fairy Fascination Ritual fails to address the present exigencies. I have others.¡±


    ¡°That''s encouraging, Mr., or, Captain Dirant.¡±


    Next he tested the Fairy Weapon Master Ritual, the title of which caused both Taomenk and Aptezor to wonder why Dirant started with a different one. The camaraderie of the three men had become such an unconquerable citadel that Dirant told them without the slightest evasion, much less dissimulation.


    ¡°The components are cheaper. I wanted to use expensive components.¡±


    They accepted his reasoning. Taomenk made do with the budgets allocated for his projects but always wanted more, and if Aptezor ever had some of his articles compiled and bound, he would consider his career successful. Having illustrations in his book was an idea too splendid for him to imagine.


    ¡°This test must be approached in a regular manner.¡± Consistent with that proclamation, Dirant asked if any fairy consented to flash his status, not for any trivial reason of course but rather as a crucial portion of the intelligence which is to be gathered before war according to a famous general. The fairies without exception complied with the readiness of the Survyai, giving Dirant''s assurances a flavor of the ridiculous.


    This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.


    <blockquote>


    Fairy


    </blockquote>


    ¡°Your entire status I believe was meant,¡± their general elaborated.


    ¡°That''s it,¡± the soldiers answered. ¡°Sir,¡± some of them added. They looked tremendously pleased afterward.


    Whether they were concealing their abilities or not, the base was established on which the ritual was to build, for if it fulfilled its purpose according to the instructional scroll, the effect would be the addition of weapon proficiencies to fairy celebrants. The execution was simple enough and the recruitment of celebrants no more troublesome than before. Consequently the results could soon be seen.


    <blockquote>


    Fairy


    General Abilities


    Crossbow (Advanced)


    Sling (Advanced)


    Glove, Weighted (Intermediate)


    Bow, Recurved (Basic)


    </blockquote>


    That was one example. The ritual, as promised, bestowed on every participant''s status proficiency in a number of weapons from two to seven. The ranks were random, though each celebrant received at least one Advanced. Not a single Peerless appeared among the few dozen fairies participating in the experiment.


    ¡°Is it impossible or simply rare?¡± Dirant wondered. The importance of amending ritual descriptions to increase precision had been inculcated in every student of Todelk University''s school of ritualism, the sixth-most prestigious in Greater Enloffenkir. It was a responsibility every member of the class bore regardless of what use the individual Ritualist made of his abilities after graduation.


    Aptezor Ristaofen was excited. ¡°This is a tremendous development! We can win even if the other generals don''t¡ª¡°


    ¡°General.¡±


    ¡°I apologize. We can win.¡±


    ¡°Give it a trial before you give yourself a ribbon.¡± Taomenk, in preparation for exactly that, had gathered a wagon of weapons from the castle and rolled it out to the field. A simple sparring session told the officers nothing, no matter how eagerly the fairies engaged in it; Visionaries, Ritualists, and Functionaries knew little enough about the impact of weapon proficiencies on battles restricted to their own species, let alone the range of fairy prowess. Fortunately, an objective measurement of skill existed in the field of archery, and accordingly they set up sheets as targets which helpful fairy artists decorated with painted clothes and surprised facial expressions.


    The emotional connection thus derived in no way prevented fairies who had gained archery abilities from volunteering to take positions, ready their weapons, aim, and miss by distances measurable in the minutes they required to reclaim their errant missiles. The Adabans watched the miserable performance with that mixture of incredulousness and despair typically felt by attendees at a theatrical performance who realize only after the opening scene that they have been tricked into watching a tale of tragic love rather than the violent historical drama they expected.


    ¡°Ah.¡± After a great effort in both the intellectual and emotional spheres, Dirant thought of something to say. ¡°Upon reflection, the wording assured the practitioner the fairies will have the proficiency added to their status. It said nothing about teaching them anything. Ritual descriptions are not as a custom drawn up in a lawyerly manner, and I was incautious on that account.¡±


    ¡°You have more of those rituals to try,¡± Taomenk stated. Asked by the general what made the logistics captain sure of that, Taomenk said, ¡°Mr. Aptezor, can you not hear how excited Mr. Dirant is? I''ll allow he isn''t dancing in glee, but that''s all.¡±


    Dirant admitted the truth of the assessment without shame, for an eagerness to pursue his profession was reckoned as a virtue in Kitslof at least, and he possessed no others uncontested. ¡°General, with your permission I will undertake to perform the Fairy Bow Education Ritual. The outcome is easy to predict, and yet we must admit the unreliability of our predictions with regard to fairies.¡±


    Aptezor gave his permission. Most condottieri recommended agreeing to a course of action which another party, usually the employer but occasionally an associate or headstrong subordinate, could not be dissuaded from taking in order to minimize the perception of impotence. The ritual captain soon, by his standards, had prepared the next trial. In a rebuke to optimism and whimsy both, the Fairy Bow Education Ritual did indeed impart several bow proficiencies in a purely cosmetic fashion just as all expected.


    ¡°What is the advantage of this over the Weapon Master Ritual?¡± Aptezor asked.


    ¡°Ink is not so precious that we are limited to writing down the good rituals alone. Let us proceed to the Fairy Vanquishing Ritual, which is not nearly so impressive in its ostensible effect as I can perceive you hope it to be.¡± The Ritualist''s warning came in time to relieve his fellow officers from the vexing moral questions posed by their acquisition of such a powerful weapon as the name suggested. He explained further that the category of ¡°vanquishing rituals¡± dealt with effects which suppress sensations such as thirst, hunger, and pain. They were primarily of medical use and helpful secondarily in working laborers to death, a practice not much observed in the present day. ¡°What it does to fairies is unclear from the description.¡±


    ¡°Mr. Dirant, is it fair to say that Ritualists are perpetrating a fraud upon the public when they attest to the reliability of their services?¡±


    The question could have come from another Ritualist, but as a humorous diversion. Aptezor, so far as Dirant had been able to discover, lacked a sense of humor altogether and therefore received a serious answer. Further, because the Amlizen Crier, if it resembled the standard publication of its type, was disinclined to publish articles on matters which touched on theological speculation, he avoided that topic, salient though he believed it to be. ¡°We commit the alleged crime to the same extent as do the historians who assure us the race of fairies became extinct long ago, which is to say that perfect information is never granted to mankind. In the ordinary course, any professional Ritualist makes explicit the capabilities and limitations of our class.¡±

 25. And The Capering Went On All Night And Day

    That might have satisfied the average layman, but a reporter halfway to being considered ¡°dogged¡± and a quarter of the way to ¡°confounded nuisance¡± held standards the ordinary commercial Ritualist thought unreasonable. ¡°The accusation has been made that all they do is refuse to acknowledge any responsibility for the results of their work.¡±


    ¡°That is far from all we do,¡± Dirant protested. No longer able to resist, he added, ¡°We also insist that we be paid no matter what happens.¡±


    The response amused Taomenk, though Dirant worried about the consequences if Aptezor wrote, in addition to the thousand articles necessary to encompass his adventures and the revelations gained thereby, a piece to expose the grasping nature of Ritualists, convinced an outlet people actually read to run it, and caused the rivers of society to swell with indignation, carrying away the pleasant riverside property Ritualists bought with their questionable incomes. Put that way, he no longer worried.


    The Fairy Vanquishing Ritual succeeded. Ritual Judgment, the core ability for the Ritualist class, made that clear. The investigation into what precisely had been vanquished extended to a frustrating duration. Even in the convenient and correspondingly unlikely circumstance that Todelk''s collections of esoteric rituals included one which encouraged fairies to respond to answerable questions, the interrogators were unsure what to ask. As it was, Taomenk tried the gambit of saying, ¡°You troops must be hungry. The drills, you understand.¡±


    ¡°You mean if we train hard enough we''ll find out what hunger is?¡± One fairy wag elicited raucous laughter with that one. Taomenk admitted he found it just as amusing as most comedy.


    Careful observation uncovered the secret. While Dirant prepared another ritual, a truculent fairy came over, not to fulfill his duties to support his queen in her ambitions, but to have it out with another about which of them was to inherit the name of Desaikyars Aikyars, a Survyaian athlete the Adabans mentioned in a digression they had soon regretted.


    ¡°You can have it,¡± the accosted soldier conceded. ¡°I can''t get bothered about it right now.¡±


    Dirant resolved both to submit to Todelk University a commentary on the Fairy Vanquishing Ritual and to remember the effect if ever he needed an auxiliary plan to end the Hacanthu War, as Aptezor had decided to call it as a preliminary decision before he consulted an editor. More immediately, Dirant performed rituals for hours, a testament to his endurance someone might have said who was unaware of the low physical exertion usually involved in the process.


    Somewhere around the Reduce Awareness of Skin Blemishes on Fairies Ritual, as expected a variant of the Reduce Awareness of Skin Blemishes Ritual which comforted many sufferers of certain maladies, Dirant learned his general possessed a capacity for frustration.


    Aptezor disengaged himself from his troops, no longer able to bear the damage to his voice he was incurring because of his shouts of encouraging instruction to the effect that after loosing a shaft, the accepted followup was to nock another rather than watching it and writing a poem. He approached Dirant in a state far redder than he ever had been aside from a brief period after his birth and risked his raspy voice to say, ¡°A ritual that has a slight chance of helping, does it exist, or? Urg! Please, Mr. Dirant, allow me to beg for a single ezola.¡± He hesitated. ¡°As it were.¡± Whether his discomfort with figurative language derived from the specifics of his character or was the result of deliberate tempering, as it were, of his steel as a reporter by his superiors at the Crier might be investigated at a less desperate moment.


    ¡°Perhaps so. What is your objective at the moment, or rather your distant wish? The schedule will adjust to accommodate it if possible.¡±


    ¡°If they could just stay in a line from one end of the field to the other. If they could just . . . stay in a line. One minute in a line.¡±


    ¡°Must it be a line, or?¡±


    ¡°Any regular formation.¡±


    ¡°How regular? Ah, do not trouble yourself to respond to that. I must concentrate.¡± The evident distress of his commanding officer did not fail to arouse Dirant''s sympathy. Moreover, Aptezor''s scratchy voice was unpleasant to hear.


    ¡°Any regular formation,¡± Dirant repeated. ¡°What is a formation but a persistent arrangement of people? A ritual exists which has nothing suggestive of the battlefield in its name or effect and yet nevertheless may satisfy you, General Aptezor. The fairies will soon be spurred to energetic activity, and so I must recommend that you rest for a moment.¡±


    He hoped Aptezor, discombobulated as he was, would relax thoughtlessly and not examine closely the relationship between that last premise and the conclusion Dirant appended to it. His hope was not betrayed, and the trust the younger man had touched him and relieved his anxiety, mild though it was, over that possible scathing attack in print on professional Ritualists.


    This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.


    Untroubled by fairy caprice aside from the overall situation of being a prisoner, Captain Dirant moved on without delay to executing the proposed ritual. The distinct quality which separated fairy-affecting rituals from their human equivalents, he decided he deserved credit for noticing, was that the former invariably allowed any number of celebrants while the latter often imposed picky restrictions similar to those a child has regarding his plate, but with an inescapable authority. The way fairies gathered, attracted both by the ritual process and the undignified posture of their general who lay on his side, his face covered by one arm while he snored or else sobbed, prompted the observation.


    Dirant disliked to disturb a man''s repose, particularly when he understood the necessity of it. If in the end that day was the worst Aptezor ever lived it would be a fortunate escape for him, but it was bad enough. Even so, the forthcoming demonstration might result in a trampled reporter unless he stood up. ¡°General, prepare for the Fairy Dance Ritual.¡±


    ¡°Huh? What? Oh. Wait. Dance Ritual? Mr. Dirant, have I actually awakened, or?¡±


    The outcome surpassed expectations in that it enabled something which approximately resembled military discipline. The fairies placed themselves, not in a line, but at fixed distances from one another and thereupon engaged in a dance unfamiliar to the modern Adabans which moved them slowly across the field. ¡°Amazing!¡± Aptezor would have shouted had he not broken into a cough after the second syllable. In a triumph of the spirit, he ignored his weakness and rushed to grab as many spears as his arms could hold and began distributing them to the dancers while explaining his plan: Persuade his soldiers to thrust while making their dancing advance and he would have an invincible army by fairy standards.


    The two captains assisted with the manual labor while Dirant explained the ritual. ¡°It causes fairy celebrants to hear music, all of them the same composition, which inspires in them an irresistible urge to execute the related moves.¡±


    ¡°I could resist it easily, but I would rather not.¡±


    ¡°Thank you for the correction,¡± Dirant told the soldier who had contributed to the better understanding of ritualism. ¡°The shortcoming of the ritual, not in its conception but in its application so long after its creation, is that the Ritualist must select from a list of dances to be performed, and they are without exception unknown to me or anyone alive today save perhaps historians specializing in the topic. This one is ''the Forthing.'' I picked it because the name is suggestive to me of forward motion.¡±


    ¡°Another dance may do even better for us then.¡± Like a businessman ruined by a downturn who, forced to enter a different market, builds up his new enterprise in time to catch a trend, a single success elevated Aptezor''s optimism above what he had when first the Adabans theorized about ending the Hacanthu War in a manner consistent with their good and perhaps above what he felt on his first day as a reporter.


    Three men returned to the waste district to which they once had been conveyed by inexplicable forces, not again as victims of capricious phenomena not yet understood but as contestants prepared on the field of battle for the honors and gain which all desired though few dared seek to attain.


    By then, owing to a mapmaking competition open to the fay public, the general and his captains better grasped the geographical relationships of the five districts. They essentially were all contiguous with one another so far as movement was concerned; the wheel they formed around a small central area had the borderlands, unguarded and traversable, as its spokes, and those might be traversed to reach any realm from any other. As for the central area, the fairies recommended against trying to claim it, or rather they declared it impossible.


    ¡°It''s no good,¡± they said. ¡°Solely the strongest can make something of it, and they don''t even go there for that.¡±


    Such a vague caution as that must be tested. When Aptezor, Dirant, and Taomenk did so, accompanied of course by their army which followed their orders sometimes and Ydridd''s usually, they saw a ring of distortion much like the visual effect the Fairy Fascination Ritual caused around its targets except the air darkened in a slightly reddish way as well, making the center impervious to sight as well as travel.


    After confirming the inaccessibility of the center, Aptezor decided to invade the waste district for two reasons highly congruent with military science. He knew something of its layout, a familiarity which suggested the idea of fortifying the ziggurat where Dirant and Taomenk awoke (and of getting back at those ogres). He also had seen it to be sparsely populated and not at all defended unless those ogres counted, which they soon would not. His captains concurred with his plan of campaign.


    The disciplined legion marched into the wastes while supported by intelligence of a regularity never previously dreamt by any fairy force. The officers had convinced their soldiers that the job of a scout was to act the part of a bard but without the requirement of learning an instrument. The proffered shortcut appealed exceedingly to some of them.


    Those new scouts proved the value of the role more convincingly than any number of treatises on the subject, if only because nobody who read those doubted it in the first place. They reported sighting an army. ¡°It''s led by a general, though he, doubtless a human, may in fact be a prisoner.¡±


    ¡°Are the fairies now doing impressions of me?¡± Dirant wondered.


    ¡°What army, do you know?¡± Aptezor wondered more relevantly.


    ¡°I recognized some of the soldiers. I have no idea.¡± The scout''s report contained nothing but honesty unalloyed with what he supposed his commander hoped to hear. Soon the condottieri of Greater Enloffenkir would be replacing all their scouts with fairies.

 26. The Queen And The Treacherous Warrior

    Ordering his scouts to continue their exemplary work, Aptezor began a series of maneuvers with the full cooperation of his troops, thrilled at last to take part in a facsimile of a real war. He moved from hill to building, prepared to have his troops plant the stakes Taomenk had supplied for them at a word, all while creeping closer to the ziggurat from which he proposed to extend walls to the capitol of Queen Ava, the district''s strongest fairy.


    He had a straight route to the empty city his captains had described, he thought, but the scouts informed him the hostile force was moving to a mound between him and his objective. ¡°Is the mound very high, or has it anything notable?¡±


    ¡°I guess not. Sir.¡± The scout added the title not with hesitation, but with the emphasis of someone trying too hard to do his job. The Aptezor method, it might be called. ¡°The tower behind it is pretty tall, though.¡±


    What followed was a series of short marches by both armies wherein Ydridd''s tried to reach the ziggurat without offering battle while the unknown force put itself in the way by taking vulnerable positions which, upon inquiry, were inevitably revealed to be near far better ones, often already fortified with rough palisades.


    ¡°The other general is better at this than I am,¡± Aptezor said in the privacy of the officer quarters, which was a little portable tent Taomenk had created between rituals.


    ¡°Likely we are against Medant Denmarof, which if true ought to hearten us rather than depress. Has he sent out scouts, or?¡±


    ¡°Mine have reported none, Captain Dirant.¡±


    ¡°We must then merge our superior discipline and his superior generalship into a tediously unstoppable army.¡±


    ¡°Be sure you aren''t enjoying this too much,¡± Taomenk warned.


    Dirant confessed that he was, and that moreover, he hoped to impress Medant. ¡°Not that there is any rivalry between us. It is simply that we have I believe achieved something meaningful and worthy of recognition. Further, the inexplicable bonds military types speak of developing among one another so that they are readier to make sacrifices for an unlikable comrade than they are for their genial neighbors are not a myth. I prefer our fairies over theirs while acknowledging there to be no sound reason behind it.¡±


    ¡°I was convinced only I felt so because the queen put me in charge.¡± Aptezor and Dirant found a common feeling, but as Taomenk had spent more time with materiel and less with the troops, he remained as indifferent as before.


    The problem which confronted them was how to confer with the enemy general. Ydridd may have accounted for the contingency of hostile collaboration by giving orders to prevent it, and the same might be true on the opposite side. Therefore it was with trepidation that Aptezor proposed, when the armies closed sufficiently to cost the scouts their job, to invite the foe''s commander to parley.


    The result betrayed his fears. The soldiers, far from taking action against the meeting, considered the notion the very height of human invention. Discipline nearly broke down entirely when fairies argued who would have the honor of holding up the banner which flapped from the upside-down spear specified for use at such occasions by Adaban martial tradition. The individual who wanted the honor of painting the customary point-down sword on it (why Ydridd had a collection of plain banners was another fairy enigma) meanwhile went about it without facing any objection. The contenders progressed from polite requests to mutual threats, and doubtless an army-wide brouhaha would have broken out had Dirant not prepared a dance ritual during the threats phase. As it was, Aptezor chose the scout who first discovered the enemy by way of a reward.


    The opposing general responded to the presentation of the banner by sending a fairy to plant a spear in the ground, an acceptable recourse if caught without one''s parley banner but one which would count against the officer so sloppy as to resort to it when later reviewed by historians and prospective employers. Condottieri of course frequently commissioned personalized banners emblazoned with their favorite weapons depicted in the peaceful position and sometimes, in an excess of decoration abhorred by traditionalists, deer or other herbivores.


    Ydridd''s officers trusted in their worthy adversary''s integrity, at least compared to certain people behind them, and walked to the spot between the two spears unattended by any spies or fairies who were not spies. The other general walked alone to the surprising meeting, though the surprise was all on one side.


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    ¡°And there is Mr. Medant as expected.¡± Dirant bowed. ¡°Mr. Medant, before we begin speaking of matters of mutual benefit, I must tell you that your family has not forgotten you and is worried about your welfare to distraction since your disappearance.¡±


    ¡°That is good to hear, for I am worried myself!¡± While there was humor in the response, the speaker and his listeners all understood there was no purpose in disguising the undesirability of their situation.


    Medant Denmarof retained the youthful, nearly adolescent appearance Dirant remembered and likely always would unless he reached an exceptionally advanced age. The observation referred solely to his face; he had developed his body to the dimensions one expected of a Myrmidon who favored the physical applications of his class abilities over the more social ones such as improved workplace cooperation. The travails of the fairy realm had not sufficed to dislodge his customary headband, partially disguised by his Adaban-standard hair, which he found necessary on account of the regular inundation of his forehead caused by said physical applications. Aside from that he dressed conventionally, and it took Dirant a moment to realize the oddity of that. He had been thinking of Medant as someone who vanished during his vacation, but as a fairy general who possessed some prowess, should he not have girded himself in fairy armor? Either his master''s treasury fell short of Queen Ydridd''s in certain important categories or else he had no intention whatever of fighting.


    ¡°I thank you for the message,¡± Medant continued. ¡°Are you a professional person-finder, or? I am likely being foolish. You have the speech of a Kitslofer. Ah! But are you Dirant from Fennizen?¡±


    Dirant did not bow again, as the gesture would have appeared overly formal given their acknowledged relationship, minor as it was. He nodded instead, though someone who described that as a neck-high bow would not be mistaken so much as given to unconventional description.


    ¡°I must ask after your family and so, but perhaps we may consider that done without doing it. How is it that you came to be here? I cannot believe you were looking for me, you a company Ritualist.¡±


    ¡°And yet I was.¡± From there Dirant introduced his companions and explained the situation as he understood it, finishing with the proposition that Medant betray his fairy overlord and join his capabilities to their ambition.


    ¡°Or, if there is an argument for conducting ourselves in the reverse manner, we must entertain it, recognizing you as a more complete student of the military arts.¡±


    ¡°I am not so certain about that. You say you got them to scout for you?¡± Aptezor made a neck-high bow, whereupon Medant whistled. ¡°I failed completely in that. Then. There is no question of my refusing. Queen Ava has offered me nothing but punishment for disobeying, though in truth there has not been much even of that. The order is to go fight, without any explanation given of means, goals, or what I am to receive for my service. It is an insult to a professional.¡± Genuine indignation was in his tone.


    ¡°Our queen isn''t so different as you might be hoping, Mr. Medant.¡± At Taomenk''s comment the two sides swapped information about the two sovereigns, and at the end, Medant still preferred theirs.


    ¡°A castle within a lake is a suitable base for an army. You can say that for it. Queen Ava rules from the most peculiar building. What is it those things are called which are set up like terraces? Do you know, or? Iflarent''s Hideout should have some but I never made it there.¡±


    ¡°Ziggurats.¡±


    ¡°Ziggurats! That is the term. Queen Ava took one of those, flipped it upside-down, and dropped it on another one. It is wholly ridiculous. I can only think the abomination stays up because of fairy magic, though I am no architect. She gave me the top floor to use as my headquarters. Staying there frightened me more than any battle but my first.¡±


    The description, against Medant''s intention, fascinated Taomenk. His expression approached something appropriate for a ceremony devoted to an especially benevolent god. ¡°The tops are missing! All the tops! Can it be true?¡± Taomenk cleared his throat and returned to his habitual manner, though not entirely so. ¡°This nonsense about fairies. I must do calculations and tests, but there''s so much in the way. These delays!¡±


    With it resolved that Medant would be joining them, and after the council paused so they could shoo away fairies creeping up to listen, they fell to arranging the details. Medant raised a reservation he had with their ideas cautiously, unwilling to offend or to rely too heavily on his human-specific expertise. ¡°I think we possibly should reevaluate some of our premises. Am I understanding that our aim is to gain permission to take a small crew of fairies to a point in the caverns close to the surface and tunnel out, or?¡±


    ¡°It is so,¡± Dirant confirmed.


    ¡°But if I deliver my army up, we can capture them and force them to dig. Can we not extract ourselves with that much manpower? Tell the fairies it is normal for the defeated to labor thus for the victor, which in historical terms it is, and they are likely not to object.¡±


    ¡°We need Mr. Doltandon to do that,¡± Aptezor objected. ¡°Ah. No, we don''t, do we? I thought we did.¡±


    Dirant confessed it was the same for him. ¡°His organization of a small group and the progress he achieved with it impressed me so much, I forgot to consider that we might exceed his team''s speed simply by getting more fairies. There is still the matter of our missing friends, however.¡±


    Medant, freed from his diffidence by the swift acquiescence of his collaborators to his corrections, advanced with cheerful confidence to laying out a plan of action they agreed to be the most plausible method of achieving their goals.

 27. The Last Of The Exile

    The campaign of maneuver resumed. The failure of the parley to reach a truce, so far as they knew, did not disappoint the fairies. They did still wish to engage in an authentic battle, after all. None suspected the commanders were engaged in a campaign of deceit, though if they had, it was not at all certain they would not have approved.


    ¡°Likely your friends have been made officers just as we have. Gentlemen, let us wander about and find their armies with your scouts.¡± Saying that, Medant arranged a system of signals which could be made using their banners, one of which he borrowed in a show of respect the fairies enjoyed.


    The Stalling War, as Aptezor would not be allowed by his editor to call it, succeeded beyond what might have been projected by a sober strategist. First, the scouts found Gabdirn Haubentlag at the head of his own army, though not one composed of fairies. No ogres, either. Instead the Symbol Knight wandered the lands like a hero, accompanied by two tall, disgustingly muscular men who had the fur and heads of lions. One wielded a spear the head of which was wrapped in flame while a wedge of rushing wind surrounded the other''s. ¡°Flame Lion and Gale Lion make for my favorite guests,¡± he explained. He had equipped himself with their symbolic weapon, a double-bladed spear of inferno and storm, the blades on opposite ends rather than next to each other like feuding neighbors in a comedy.


    He fell in with their plan as soon as he heard it and joined Taomenk in repairing to Ydridd''s castle at the head of a detachment assigned to fetch a load of ropes, fetters, collars, and really just an assortment of items whose purpose the fairies had no need to know. It was silly of them to inquire at all.


    During their absence, a man appeared before the officers who was unknown to them and undetected by the scouts. Rather older than any of the officers, his dark brown hair retained its sheen and its length; it reached just past his shoulders without abandoning any positions higher up. If his words came out as somewhat slurred, Adabans often thought that about the accent of the Jingennefa, one of whom he looked to be. Not that Dirant had ever before met a member of that much-diminished tribe, but artists produced excellent resemblances. The man''s coat was of the type known as a longshirt on account of being light, unadorned, and worn closed, all in contrast to the current GE style. He stooped a bit, rendering him shorter than Aptezor despite the reality that he was between the two captains in height.


    ¡°I am Shtaugirs. Mr. Gabdirn, may I speak with him? I have his delivery.¡± He pointed with his right hand to a box hanging from his left, an odd way to do it in Dirant''s opinion.


    ¡°Mr. Gabdirn is on a mission. Mr. Shtaugirs, were you transported here by supernatural compulsion? The readers of the Amlizen Crier will want to know your analysis of the situation.¡±


    ¡°Transported here? No, no.¡± Confusion afflicted Shtaugirs for a moment before he looked around the army he had somehow penetrated. ¡°Oh. Fairies.¡± In those simple words he combined dismay and contempt in the exact proportions Dirant had come to believe appropriate, which startled him more than the circumstances of Shtaugirs''s arrival.


    ¡°Mr. Shtaugirs, have you encountered fairies before?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Oh, yes. It was so long ago though. I thought they were all gone, yeah?¡± His nose wrinkled when he examined the troops again, but he said no more about fairies. ¡°I will wait for Mr. Gabdirn. He will like his delivery. I did very well this time.¡±


    As predicted, Gabdirn did like his delivery. The anticipation of his wife''s reaction to receiving a genuine Shtaugirs collection made him all the more eager to cooperate with the plan. Shtaugirs seemed less enthusiastic about the proposal if not apathetic, but neither did he demur.


    Medant signaled he had picked up some humans also. Another parley revealed he had been able to create his own scout corps after Aptezor''s yelled at his army in passing how much fun they were having and how important the general said they were. With their assistance, some more missing persons had been found, some who reported vanishing that very day when they visited Cowsick Point on account of the recent rumors which they had failed to take seriously or to ignore, either course being wiser than the middle path.


    ¡°There''s no reason for it not to worsen,¡± Taomenk said, and further testimony proved him right.


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    Yet another non-fairy army approached, this one led by Millim Takki Atsa and formed from various people she had come across and in some cases rescued from ogres or other dangers. She had Miss Bodder with her, but less expectedly, Odibink Sharazilk and several tourists Dirant recognized. Odibink attested that he traveled to Cowsick Point wishing to argue with Gabdirn about something and ended up falling through the guest floor before he could even touch the marker.


    That was after a tearful reunion, of course. Takki cried to see Dirant not boiled in a witch''s cauldron, Miss Bodder cried because she had escaped being boiled in a witch''s cauldron, and Odibink and Gabdirn argued so intensely that they cried, too.


    ¡°Can we hear your plan?¡± Takki asked once everyone finished. ¡°Oh, you can say ''what plan'' if you want and I promise I''ll laugh, but I can''t be persuaded you''ve been handed an army and haven''t thought of anything enterprising to do with it.¡±


    Aptezor objected. ¡°This isn''t an occasion for humor, is it, Captain Dirant?¡±


    ¡°I considered it.¡± Dirant''s honest admission set Aptezor to thinking about that Ritualist article again. ¡°That kind of cruelty to newcomers is unwarranted however.¡± The tourists all had a harried look about them, he had noticed, and the plotters took them aside to ease their troubled minds as quickly as was convenient.


    Medant managed to gather in Kodol and other reporters who paid more attention to the disappearances in proportion to their increasing frequency, a few bold Ividottlofers, and even a Fennizener associated with an officer on Queen Ydridd''s side through mutual parentage. Medant further informed his fellow conspirators of another of their associates. ¡°My scouts also encountered your Mr. Doltandon and Miss Gelfid. They had fairies with them. Mr. Doltandon refused my invitation and I''m too busy to run after him like a bailiff clutching a summons to some court or so.¡±


    That was the third parley and the last one. The number of humans began to rival that of the fairies. No third army was reported, no other generals were seen, and no indication of Mr. Hwohyesu was found. Then again, that he had been snatched to the fairy realm before them had only supposition behind it and not proof. Furthermore, it was not their duty to rescue every last person, particularly given the likelihood the fairies would give up on their war and leave once an exit existed. The armies exchanged signals.


    Aptezor''s soldiers formed up, a sight which filled him with the pride of a hard task accomplished which thus far in his life nothing but his first published article equaled. The troops on the other side adopted a looser formation that was nothing but a ring around their general. The single point of discipline Medant imposed was that no fairy stand farther away from him than the approximate distance covered by the Fairy Fascination Ritual, not that he included that particular fact in his orders.


    That day the fairies learned how one-sided a battle properly managed could be. The foremost warriors met, some lion men carried a human into the center of Ava''s formation, and then they were tied up. What happened between they did not quite recall. Probably they supposed the same thing happened to Medant, never realizing his perfidy, not even when in response to skepticism about how common that sort of result was in warfare the humans regaled them with volumes of similar incidents beginning with the infamous career of Nestashal Tvarnchipt. They did realize the most important thing.


    ¡°That makes us real veterans of a real battle,¡± one announced, and they all declared themselves thoroughly gratified on that account.


    A workforce of fairies over a hundred strong and equipped from Queen Ydridd''s extravagant tool shed dug the tunnel rapidly after a brief episode in which fairies of both armies tried to convince the humans they knew a much better place to start. Taomenk held firm to his figures however, and the humans chose to believe a celebrated engineer over a bunch of fairies completely incapable of keeping a straight face.


    ¡°We may, I don''t mean this to be taken as a promise, investigate your trap later if it has some value for scholarship,¡± Mr. Odibink suggested, by that mollifying the failed tricksters.


    Once underway, the endeavor absorbed the attention of the compelled laborers enough that they attempted no further mischief. As for Ydridd''s troops, they made no objection to participating in the work from the beginning. They had at last lived through a complete military campaign, the fondest wish of some and an item high on the list for others. Following that up with a large-scale infrastructure project, while nowhere near as exhilarating, provided a contrast which made the day feel fuller.


    Fairies reconsidered the exhilaration part as they approached their destination. Many did not at first connect the tunneling project with the prospect of leaving the underground prison to which they had been consigned for, evidently, over two thousand five hundred years. Perhaps well over. As the tunnel grew however, not only did more and more soldiers suspect its true purpose which the humans avoided stating explicitly, but the work attracted civilian fairies who either belonged to Doltandon''s work crew or had spoken to its members. Rumor spread and raised spirits wherever it passed.


    Anything would have been a disappointment except what happened, which was that the patient blue sky above the ravine welcomed the tunnelers back to the old world. The humans rejoiced, the fairies celebrated, and the euphoria of the occasion led to talk of a new holiday.

 28. The Luxury Habits Of Decadent Civilizations

    We May Regard The Most Entertaining Among These To Be Exercises In Gathering ¡°Evidence¡± When There Is And Can Be None


    What they got was more work, though after an enthusiastic if bewildered reception at the camp. Missing Ividottlofers rushed home, those who stayed told tales impossible to believe if not for the fairies about, and also a bunch of fairies were about. The reporters had so much to write about that some considered hiring scribes, though after a few trials they limited themselves to locals. The mysterious universality of fairy language did not apply to writing.


    ¡°The full and complete account of the journey takes all my time by itself, and I have so much else to report,¡± Aptezor complained once at lunch.


    ¡°You''re on to the full and complete account already? Just preparing the public is too much for me.¡± Kodol happened to be nearby, as did a large number of people since they were in a cafeteria at the time, their drafts spread out next to the soup.


    ¡°By preparing the public, do you mean advertising your service, or?¡±


    ¡°I mean the preliminary article which establishes some people at the camp are talking about fairies and that this reporter will investigate for signs of illusions, cults, and food poisoning and so.¡±


    The veteran said that in the same inflection one might use for the observation that the weather looked to rain later, but young Aptezor reacted as if he had been informed for the first time that athletes sometimes lost intentionally. ¡°What''s the purpose of doing that? Is it to stretch out the story, but no, there is too much to write as it is.¡±


    ¡°Aptezor.¡± Kodol dropped any scrap of formality which might interfere with the heartfelt advice he had decided to impart on a junior at risk of losing his way. ¡°If you send your guys in Amlizen a story about fairy adventures without a wagonload of reservations and disclaimers their conclusion must be that they accidentally hired a lunatic.¡±


    ¡°But¡ª¡°


    ¡°They''ll wonder how it happened, but they''ll find an explanation that blames nobody in particular. ''The sun is hotter out west.'' There, the whole thing is settled.¡±


    ¡°But¡ª¡°


    ¡°''But everyone saw the fairies.'' Did they? Everyone here did. Your editors aren''t here, and they''re the ones who matter.¡±


    ¡°All the other articles will report the same facts.¡± Aptezor''s objections had the form of requests for clarification rather than arguments, appropriate for someone of his age and experience in fields unrelated to applying the lessons of condottieri to violent disputes between fairy kings and queens, a category in which he stood preeminent.


    ¡°The other articles will report there are unbelievable rumors about such-and-such, with such-and-such reported fully and accurately so the public understands the rumors. We avoid lawsuits the same way.¡±


    ¡°My editor told me not to waste space.¡±


    ¡°Let him take them out.¡± Kodol looked at Aptezor''s face, earnest and uncomprehending, and gave up. He had seen too many reporters remove stones from the bridges under own careers to try to hold one up on his own shoulders.


    Not only reporters struggled with the inevitable discrepancies between local and abroad perceptions of recent events. In that same cafeteria, people were trying out a novel custom of collaborative letter-writing. A goslikenar claimed that company made guilt harder to hide but easier to explain, and as it stood, explanations were the hard part. After extensive consultation, Medant Denmarof for one adopted the path of cowardice by applying a thick coat of vagueness to his letter home when it dealt with matters other than the plain fact of his current good health. He did include a few lines expressing his gratitude to Edol Mikstifoken for alerting someone positioned to act, at Dirant''s request.


    ¡°Edol I remember more than you, or I did prior to our latest meeting. Is your desire to ingratiate him to my relatives a confirmation of an ambition of his I suspected, or? I am unconcerned either way, but I like to have a reason to write what I do.¡±


    ¡°It is a matter of uncertainty to me as well, though less out of any reticence on Edol''s part than because of my similar lack of interest. Even so, it cannot be harmful to emphasize a point which is both true and not a criticism of us.¡±


    ¡°Is that how people from your city talk about everything, Ressi?¡± The exasperation in Takki''s tone exhausted itself with that and was replaced by detached academic interest; perhaps her own letters incited the former and the distraction from them facilitated the latter. ¡°No, I don''t see any potential for that to be true. You have to be explicit about contracts, and I know how seriously you take those. If I wrote an essay about how much more you could get done if you weren''t trying to be clever all the time, do you think anyone would read it?¡±


    ¡°Yes, and afterward we would persist regardless,¡± Dirant predicted. ¡°It is nothing but a reluctance to discuss the affairs of others too openly. To satisfy your natural, pardon me, unaffected curiosity, I may tell you this worthless information that we are unsure of the depth of feeling between my friend Edol and his friend Miss Medarig, Mr. Medant''s cousin.¡±


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    Takki peered at the two Fennizeners. ¡°Is that really all you know about it? I''m not sure which answer would indict you more, so please forget I asked it. Introduce us later so I can figure it out for you. All right, I''ve decided. This time I''ll just say I learned a new ability but I''m not sure of its function. If anyone asks for the name I''ll reveal it''s Fairy Battle. I can talk about the fairies directly in a third letter. Maybe not the ogres, though. It''s incredible, isn''t it? Fairies, trapped underground for so many years that we can''t find any overlap in our histories to help us make an estimate.¡±


    ¡°I have been reconsidering fundamental ideas, such as whether there still exist fairies in other places, hidden,¡± Dirant said.


    ¡°There aren''t any, Ressi.¡±


    ¡°Suppose however that there are.¡±


    ¡°I''m not going to do that.¡±


    ¡°Mr. Medant?¡±


    ¡°Maybe in the Obeneutian wastes. Fairies like desolate terrain more than the stories implied. Other than that, it is impossible no one would have noticed. Is it not?¡±


    As for reactions outside of correspondence, Medant took the path of courage and stayed at Iflarent''s Hideout in case a rescue operation became possible. He also accompanied Mr. Taomenk, the one man working harder than the reporters, on his expeditions between worlds in order to map the fairy realms and create an accurate reference table for distance equivalences. Fairies willing to cooperate in the endeavor abounded, at least in the camp, since the unwilling either returned to fairyland or ventured into the wider world which they hoped to be as much changed as indeed it was.


    ¡°Should we not do something to restrain them?¡± the common man wondered.


    ¡°Certainly not,¡± Atkosol Tellanstal decided. ¡°The proposal is impractical, immoral, and inappropriate for a private venture to undertake.¡±


    He stated the second and third objections, listeners familiar with rhetoric suspected, merely for style. The first sufficed. As soon as the fairies realized they could slip their bonds magically and the humans admitted none of their confinement methods anticipated prisoners able to move themselves between realities, the common man''s idea became impossible until some relevant class ability was uncovered. Preventing fairies from wandering away could be labeled as immoderate, unholy, and asymmetrical for all that words mattered. The Egillen continent had to deal with the fairies as it could.


    ¡°Provided they are indeed fairies.¡± Even in the camp, let alone in Amlizen''s editorial offices, some doubted. The substance of those doubts, Nalfenk Migolkir hurried to clarify, was unrelated to the disappearances, the uncanny other world, or the inscrutable powers possessed by an entire population hitherto unknown. ¡°All of that is well attested. The question is whether this is not rather a human tribe which, isolated by unexpected geological movements either gradual or sudden, did not over generations become separate from the normal type of human, much as we see differences between Dvanjchtlivs and Drastlifars, to the extent of developing its own class, Fairy, to which all now belong.¡±


    The controversy, declared in the camp''s figurative town square, had its impact. Secret classes charmed the imagination nearly as much as extinct races, or more so depending on one''s preference in literature. Neither was it possible to deny that many class abilities applied to particular other classes; the opportunities for specialization within the Subjugator class on that basis were long understood. The old stories meanwhile said nothing about anti-fairy abilities, not that King Aspagart Ibilosh Eukiroich as an example had any occasion to gain such during his civil encounters with a fairy king.


    ¡°The ritual instructions are explicit on the subject, though they are open to assorted complaints on other grounds.¡± Dirant''s remark transformed the matter into a dispute far fiercer than what he anticipated, for Nalfenk responded with an unexpected accusation.


    ¡°There is a Ritualist who pretends to esoteric knowledge of fairies, ghosts, spiritual occurrences, and all manner of nonsense. He writes for that contemptuous publication which reverses profit and ethics in its priorities and as a result sells the baldest falsehoods to the public under the guise of withheld truths. The Broadening Mind is of course the unfortunate disease to which I refer.¡±


    That remark in turn broadened the field of argument. ¡°The Broadening Mind is not so detestable as you make it, Mr. Nalfenk. Admittedly its writers are mistaken about everything except for the spelling, but they provide us with hypotheses.¡± Taomenk Genarostaf seemed capable of forming his own outrageous hypotheses, but then a doctor can never have enough patients.


    ¡°That may be,¡± Nalfenk allowed. ¡°One suspects any such utility is unintended, but the issue of intent is fraught. This is my hypothesis: This Mr. Dirant Rikelta is that very Thlaklesta. His unnatural inquiries prove it. There is nothing illegal in that of course, and I would forbear to mention it save its relevance to his credibility.¡±


    A serious accusation, some might say. Nalfenk Migolkir, for instance. The rest of the tourists and laborers drawn in by the hubbub did not place the same importance on The Broadening Mind and its pseudonymous contributors as did Mr. Nalfenk and perhaps other employees and affiliates of The Scientifically Minded Gentleman''s Primer. They merely wanted to talk about fairies.


    One listener was willing to stretch her interest far enough to touch the topic, though not in a sense at all in sympathy with Nalfenk''s views. ¡°Ressi, are you padding your income with literary endeavors? If you are, I don''t think we should tell my father about it. He''ll insist you go respectable.¡±


    ¡°I have not, though had I been aware of the demand for such a thing . . . ah, but the niche evidently is already filled. Mr. Nalfenk, is it possible for you to estimate the income of this Thlaklesta, or?¡±


    Umbrage meant nothing to a writer such as Nalfenk when given an opportunity to educate a receptive audience. ¡°By no means, I regret to say. That publication hides everything, from the names of its contributors to its business practices. Even the identification of Thlaklesta with a Ritualist is supposition.¡±


    ¡°Based I suppose on the choice of name.¡± Dirant, while not a reporter, liked to give the occasional lecture himself. ¡°Ninmegaltant Inshilken, nicknamed Thlaklesta, was a Ritualist influential in the struggle to regularize ritual instruction formatting, the need for which is evident in the fairy rituals mentioned earlier. He is over a century dead, it must be said to prevent the obvious conclusion.¡±


    ¡°Is that so? I was not aware. Only that certain touches suggested the class to my colleagues. Thank you for the clarification, Mr. Dirant.¡± Nalfenk bowed.


    ¡°It is nothing compared to my pleasure at having this false identification dispelled.¡± Dirant bowed as well.


    ¡°Ah? I am unaware of any proof you are not a correspondent who scrounges for peels and processes them into swill.¡±

 29. The Scandalous Is Decided In Retrospect

    An Accusation''s Outcome Is The Sole Measure


    As much as the exchange fascinated, which was very little, the still-growing crowd demanded progress on fairy categorization. ¡°Do a test, not an argument,¡± Gabdirn Haubentlag proposed. What sort of test he was unable to describe with more detail, but he was ready to transmit the results to the general public.


    Odibink tried. ¡°Excuse me, sir, are you human?¡± he asked the nearest fairy.


    ¡°What direction does it get warmer?¡± the fairy answered.


    ¡°Oh, south, usually, but there are air currents as you know.¡±


    ¡°I used to, but I forgot.¡± With that the fairy took off. That completed the test of whether the people who vanished simply happened to be especially poor at interrogating fairies but left the present issue unresolved. Then again, who wanted to relocate to warmer climes in that season? The weather was the area''s most commendable quality.


    Autopsies were suggested, despite the many witnesses to eviscerated fairies who discerned no differences between the guts of the two species. They were not medically trained, after all. Still, reservations about conducting recreational dissections, even with the consent of their owners who expected resurrection afterward, prevented anyone from advancing the notion as something other than an emergency response to a plague or similar.


    The matter seemed hopeless, every deviation from human standards explicable as a Fairy class ability, until the assembled agreed to lower their standards from ¡°absolutely incontrovertible¡± to ¡°overwhelmingly indicative.¡±


    ¡°In that case, there are rituals which apply to all humans of every class so far as we know, barring the interference of specific substances,¡± Dirant said.


    ¡°Ah, the sio incident,¡± Nalfenk recalled. ¡°That is satisfactory, since we may afterward check for monsterization easily enough.¡±


    The demonstration was swiftly arranged. Atkosol himself, a man unattached to either side but attentive to any opportunity for refining the public store of knowledge, picked celebrants from among a multitude of volunteers both human and fairy. He further selected one from a list of relevant rituals compiled at his request by Patklenk Ost, who was to perform the ritual to prevent a distortion of the results, whether by trickery, incompetence, or the subtle influence of bias.


    Atkosol chose the Ritual of Dark and Light, which had much to recommend it. Enduring records testified to its universal applicability. Members of every class from Zero to Acrobat manifested marks on their palms when it was performed, a triangle for those born in daylight and a rectangle for the more dismal sort. The choice contributed to general cultural education as well. Upon hearing what it did, numerous spectators at last understood those lines about three-pointed day and four-pointed night which poets they never read for pleasure insisted on inserting, not to mention the more veiled allusions. Their teachers often lectured them that ¡°the four-cornered world¡± indicated that the scene occurred after sunset, but seldom the reason, which likely they did not know themselves.


    Encouraged by the confirmation they were still capable of learning, the members of the audience, by that point nearly the entire camp in size, sought further knowledge about the ritual. What was its purpose? Knowing what time of day someone was born seemed, at best, useless, and at worst also useless. Why did Ritualists develop that specific ritual at all?


    ¡°Those questions are easily answered when we abandon the idea that a ritual is a success merely because it works, or alternatively is a failure on the grounds of not doing what was intended,¡± commercial Ritualist and graduate of Todelk University''s respected school of ritualism Dirant Rikelta informed them. ¡°That particular ritual was developed as part of a general effort to collect information about newborns for the purpose of accurate predictions as to potential classes, careers, health, and so. Most rituals from that period are forgotten today because they were either uninformative or superfluous. The Ritual of Day and Night persists as a curiosity rather than something which fulfills its intended purpose.¡±


    Dirant went on to answer questions from the crowd and discuss the points raised in detail. Ritualists typically refrained from attempting to instruct laymen, an endeavor always fruitless for the lecturer and unwelcome to the lectured, but professional courtesy distinguished that moment from the usual. While Patklenk Ost prepared the ground and taught the celebrants their roles, activities necessary but tedious, his colleague distracted the onlookers, finishing his discourse on the Ritual of Day and Night just as the practitioner embarked on the interesting section.


    The crowd turned to watch a true Ritualist at work, something rarely seen. Unfortunately, as a true modern Ritualist, Mr. Patklenk carried out the affair with the same grace and showmanship as a wolf displays when it devours a rabbit. Certainly there was an appeal in his efficiency to Dirant''s trained eye, but whether the ordinary spectator enjoyed anything about it was far from sure.


    Still, Patklenk could not dispense with the chanting, his own inclinations notwithstanding, and that created a distinct atmosphere. To describe it accurately required an expert in aesthetics such as a Visionary specialized in a field other than construction or a Colorist who had not abandoned his class for a more financially secure one, but as none of those spoke up, the onlookers could do nothing but feel it. The anticipation their minds alone comprehended before seeped into their very muscles to render them still but for some quivering.


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    The ritual finished and Patklenk began the inspection, calling out to another of Atkosol''s employees each mark he saw.


    ¡°Triangle.¡±


    ¡°Triangle,¡± the recorder confirmed.


    ¡°Triangle.¡±


    ¡°Triangle.¡±


    ¡°Rectangle.¡±


    ¡°Rectangle.¡±


    ¡°None.¡± That was a fairy. Spectators jostled one another, and the ones broad-minded enough to entertain the lost tribe hypothesis received the jabbiest elbows, the most gloating expressions, and commiserations on their prompt defeat.


    ¡°None.¡±


    ¡°Triangle.¡± That was for celebrity participant Shtaugirs.


    Takki shook Dirant''s sleeve. ¡°Look at Mr. Shtaugirs. Don''t you think his expression communicates something like, ''I couldn''t be more relieved even though I knew all along?'' I really think there''s something suspicious about him, and it isn''t just because I want a new mystery now that the initial one is solved.¡±


    That final assurance did not convince Dirant, but he agreed nevertheless. ¡°His exceptional reaction does suggest something of the kind. It may be ordinary for Jingens or for him in particular, and I know neither group well enough to guess.¡±


    Patklenk was going right along, heedless of the vague accusations made against certain celebrants for tendentious reasons. His focus was so narrow in fact that he did not pause even for three blinks of an eye after a noteworthy, some might even say flabbergasting, discovery, the significance of which clearly eluded him.


    ¡°None.¡±


    The reaction to that announcement was one to drive a theater producer to madness with envy. Exclamations joined together in a wholly indecipherable mass which eventually alerted Patklenk to the fact that he had just declared Atkosol Tellanstal''s wife to be inhuman.


    Seeing his perplexity, Lommad clarified the matter. ¡°Yes, I am a fairy. Keep at it, Mr. Patklenk.¡± He even did for a short time, so serene did she sound, much like a collector who upon reviewing her inventory finds every item in the place she put it.


    Nobody knew for sure how to respond to Lommad''s frank admission. Should they be scandalized at the secret of Atkosol''s family? Glad at the example the couple set as far as cordial relations between fairy and human? Was the whole affair as humorous as they suspected it to be? The entire assembly looked to Atkosol, drawn by his charisma and his expertise in Lommad-related matters.


    Atkosol applied his capacious intellectual capabilities to the revelation, scratched his chin, and said, ¡°After all, I am not so surprised as I might be.¡±


    Lommad''s unmasking, if it could be called such when nobody had ever bothered to confirm she was human, not even when she entered a contest to stay underwater the longest, had two immediate consequences, each realized within a different milieu. For one, the reporters fell to writing articles and requesting information from their offices about every aspect of Lommad Okliten''s life. The details, they learned, were unexceptional but in no way inconsistent with long-term fairyness. A childless couple of high station and respectable wealth adopted her as a baby, raised her according to their nature, and that was all.


    ¡°A fairy comes to be as practically nothing and then becomes what she is. One picks a name and then grows into it,¡± Lommad explained. Her ready responsiveness to such inquiries supported the existence of a cultural facet to the behavior of the underground fairies, who came off all the worse for it. She of course could say nothing about the fairy realms or what personages Hacanthu, Ydridd, Zatdil, and the rest may have been, but she addressed the interaction of classes and fairies which had become more enigmatic than before. ¡°We don''t have to take a class. I knew Mommy and Daddy thought it important I should be a Zero, so I was, and then that I pick a real class, and so I did. Padarpdig said it was all right if I became a Small Fry.¡±


    That last was taken as a delightful turn of phrase for describing class selection except by Dirant, who suspected the god of good health had personally granted her a dispensation to enter a class designed for human use. Either way, she was able to prove her possession of such, and since it was a special occasion, no one objected to a show of her status.


    <blockquote>


    Small Fry


    Priestess of Stosta


    LV 24 970/1000


    HP 868


    Muscle 39 (+3)


    Coordination 43 (+11)


    Verve 64 (+10)


    Sticktoitiveness 52 (+7)


    Discernment 30


    Gumption 22


    Tit-for-Tat 46 (+1)


    Receptivity 26 (+8)


    Panache 40 (+5)


    Class Abilities


    Unflagging Tenacity


    Boredom Mitigation


    Illness Mitigation (Expanded)


    Tenacious Pessimism


    Tenacious Optimism


    Pain Mitigation (Improved)


    Tenacious Loyalty (Perfected)


    Demise Further Distant


    Illness Recuperation


    Inconspicuous Withdrawal


    Tenacity Against Fairies


    Inconspicuous Entrance


    Boredom to Excitement


    General Abilities


    Adaban (Fluent)


    Dvanj (Fluent)


    Desurvyai (Fluent)


    Ashuraluon (Fluent)


    Heweks (Fluent)


    Saueo (Fluent)


    Tabilidgeir (Fluent)


    Usse (Fluent)


    Yosribdi (Fluent)


    Yumin (Fluent)


    Obaluon (Intermediate)


    Drastlimez (Intermediate)


    Auzisthuic (Intermediate)


    Jingenna (Intermediate)


    Tandish (Basic)


    Hosting Fundamentals


    Horse Riding (Basic)


    Party Planning (Advanced)


    Negotiating Fundamentals


    Hiring Fundamentals


    Remedy Lore (Basic)


    Hosting Expertise


    Adroit Display


    Fan Etiquette (Basic)


    </blockquote>


    Some claimed to detect the fairy in her unusual facility with languages, while others saw merely the wife of a prominent former politician who entertained regularly.


    The tenor of reporting on the topic leaned toward the approving. Correspondents of the Baozir Nalna sort viewed the tale of a woman alone in the world on account of her heritage who wed a wealthy, non-ugly statesman as romantic to an excruciatingly pleasurable degree, while the Kodol ¡°Pots¡± Hinpabafnoren category could not resist admiring the guy who got himself an attractive fairy wife. Both supposed their readers would take similar attitudes once they realized those fanciful rumors the reporters claimed to be debunking were not being debunked in the slightest. Aptezor meanwhile received word he had been fired on suspicion of insanity and therefore took no position.

 30. Thorough Preparation, In Forty-Three Cases Out Of A Hundred, Forestalls The Event Itself

    As For The Fifty-Seven Other Cases, Typically One Of The ¡°Usuals¡± Is To Blame


    The other consequence was exploitation to the fullest of Lommad''s abilities by Taomenk Genarostaf, who no longer relied on the caprice of fortune to make available guides who were themselves capricious. Lommad, with Atkosol''s permission and often his presence, expedited the mapping effort by ferrying the engineer''s team between worlds. Initial fears that the formerly trapped fairies alone knew where they might safely make the transfer were not vindicated. While she had never used her transportation ability before, Lommad soon became confident. ¡°One can determine it. It is no different from knowing that a lake is wet before one steps in it and so.¡± The results aligned with her assurances, and the single aberration she noticed during the trips prompted her to remark that a strange power suffused fairyland, one nothing like fairy magic, the ritual for preventing mold she had paid to be done at home, or a show put on by a Reciter who specialized in entertainment.


    Dirant learned of the unknown energy when a request came down that he accompany Mr. Patklenk on an excursion to determine whether rituals were implicated, which both concluded was not the case. He heard more about it when Atkosol again requested his presence, this time to sit on a panel of fairy experts, in a relative sense naturally. Another bold theory had come to Atkosol, and he wished to confer.


    ¡°Can this energy be the reason for this settlement''s existence? I have concluded that it is. The ancient Ertithans either discovered it here or else invented something to generate it. Presuming one of those scenarios to be true, how do we go about subjecting the energy to study?¡±


    Silence filled his drawing room, the only one in camp, in the wake of those words until Atkosol clarified that was not a rhetorical question. He had not gathered people with direct experience simply to listen to his ideas. He had employees for that.


    Aptezor, present and grateful to receive a small consulting fee, remembered something of possible relevance. ¡°The fairies told us the strongest knew something about the central area. I presumed that by the strongest they meant Ydridd, Ava, Ishtu, Zatdil, and Jiojjil, but I was unable to polish the silver.¡±


    Takki leaned over. ¡°Is that a saying?¡± she whispered.


    ¡°It is. It refers to confirming that something''s nature matches its appearance.¡± Dirant raised his voice. ¡°The exact wording, was it that the strongest can ''make something of it,'' or? Mr. Taomenk?¡±


    ¡°I remember it that way, Mr. Dirant. I won''t pretend we haven''t all decided the center is full of Ertith Energy the kings and queens pull out when they want it.¡±


    ¡°Cannot we make a better term than ''Ertith Energy?''¡± Gabdirn had a good point but bad timing, the others concluded.


    The discussion went on in the manner of an artist painting over a pencil sketch. As necessary as the intermediate steps were, the final form had been fixed long before. Atkosol Tellanstal, upon the advice of and with the support of everyone present, decided that in order to isolate and study the Ertith Energy, to give the phenomenon its provisional name, the best course was to conquer the five fairy realms and place his wife over them as the sole fairy queen.


    Even Adabans were reluctant to go conquering without preparation, an observation from Takki which brought the polite correction that the phrase ¡°Adabans especially¡± should be preferred in the interest of accuracy. No one was so rude as to suggest the comparative land area held by Adabans and the Jalpi Peffu followed inevitably from the corrected statement.


    The resources required for the campaign had to be determined. After considering the known performance of fairy armies, the attrition which had already taken place in the form of fairy dispersion, and his own experience with coordinating activity in both the private and public spheres with a particular emphasis on rapidity, Atkosol decided he had enough people right there. He offered bonuses to his own laborers as well as other camp residents and Ividottlofers for military participation and hired Medant Denmarof to command them despite his record of zero wins and one loss as Dirant pointed out.


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    ¡°''We prefer the general who loses productively to one who triumphs wastefully.'' That I have an authoritative quotation ready is a further reason for the decision,¡± Medant opined.


    ¡°The quotation is unfamiliar to me, and yet¡ª¡°


    ¡°Exactly. No more need be said.¡±


    ¡°However¡ª¡°


    ¡°If you will not accept a suggestion, Lieutenant, you must kneel to an order.¡±


    A harsh demotion from captain, but Dirant had accepted it, just as Medant accepted the rank of guard-captain which, implying as it did merely a domestic assignment, would not rattle the state authorities so much as it otherwise might. Over in Beborelp, the capital of Enpasatosalkir (and therefore a city regardless of the tendency of visitors to argue if it ought to be categorized as a large town or whether it was more precise to dispense with the adjective), discussions were underway regarding the proper governmental actions. The question of whether the fairy districts fell within Enpasatosalkir''s jurisdiction because they could be entered from it caused extensive disputes by itself. Atkosol had no wish to add to the anxiety there. Far from that, by swift action he hoped to spare the local Entet the need to make any decisions whatever.


    Medant straightforwardly calculated that a victorious campaign there, conducted while in the employ of no less eminent a person than Atkosol Tellanstal and witnessed by a veritable cornfield of reporters, had the potential to impart to his career such velocity that his aim of becoming a condottiero before he had to retire owing to a bruised and broken everything might be realized after all. Failing that, a swift rise in reputation at the least was assured.


    Dirant volunteered for subtler reasons. He wanted, in a very sophisticated and nuanced fashion, to use a bunch of fairy rituals. A few visiting Ritualists, drawn there by a fascination with either Ertith or general novelty, signed up with the same desire in mind, and their shared conviction that such a demonstration would be an ornament to their profession confirmed each in it all the more. He further wanted, in a primitive and brutal sort of way, something which he thought proper to warn his temporary superior about beforehand.


    ¡°But Dirant, it isn''t good practice to permit even a Ritualist to work over a prisoner. Probably you aren''t capable of doing much to him. Very good, but then what do I say to the next soldier who wants time alone with a hated enemy? That is if we are called upon to imprison Doltandon at all, which there is no reason to predict.¡±


    ¡°Everything you say is correct, and henceforth I have it available to present as an argument against my worse impulses when they petition me to adopt unwise courses.¡±


    Regarding Doltandon Yurvitas, the laborers who signed on for the private army, most of them since more pay for less danger was a combination persuasive to everyone but the fiercest lover of holes, had the impression Mr. Doltandon was in need of rescue and exhibited especial enthusiasm for the campaign because of it. The contrast during drills from what Aptezor saw in the lake district amazed him, and soon Medant succeeded in forging into a sharp steel sword the metal-hard Adabans and also the Survyais, who could be the hilt and the little decorated pommel if they wanted.


    The reporters who still had jobs divided in their opinions on which to prioritize in their coverage: The growth of the army and the upcoming fairy war; the ongoing disappearances with emphasis on how long fairies could be blamed for people wandering over to Cowsick Point and getting themselves transported; guides concerning how to tell if one''s wife, cousin, or accountant had been a fairy the whole time; or the excavation. Nalfenk alone favored the last option.


    Some tried to collect mercenary pay at the same time, and since nothing prevented a Duelist from being a reporter, not all failed. If anything, many publications preferred their society correspondents to possess some combat skill in the event of extra-judicial reprisals; Baozir Nalna''s class, Workman, exposed Over the Plain''s small recruitment pool, which in turn explained a few other things.


    The last prerequisite for a well-ordered campaign was a plan. While guaranteed to be discarded, it made the foundation upon which the actual plan would be built. They were not there yet, though. First the troops, in an excess of fervor according to the state government when articles concerning the matter came to its attention but with commendable initiative in their commander''s view, created their own banners. More precisely they were Lommad banners, as someone unfamiliar with the situation could perceive with a single look on the basis that they consisted of her name spelled vertically in red letters against a green background, proof that no Colorists or Drastlifars had joined the army.


    Atkosol for his part approved. Lommad looked on the innovation with complacency, not an uncommon condition for her. A reporter did ask whether she would look to put some other name on the banner later in view of the propensity of the underground fairies to change theirs.


    ¡°I already did that. Mrs. Atkosol Tellanstal.¡±


    The interviewer loved the line and chose not to report that Lommad followed it by saying, with an unassailable smile, ¡°Therefore I own two names.¡± She put an immoderate emphasis on the ¡°two.¡±


    A good banner can triple unit cohesion, and a bad one can too, Guard-Captain Medant claimed someone who ought to know said. The behavior of the volunteers during the arts and crafts process and afterward in the exercises satisfied him. He declared his soldiers fully qualified to stand around in a manner reminiscent of discipline, which sufficed for the first stage of the operation. That much had been worked out by Medant, Atkosol, and various consultants.

 31. The Castle Intractable

    Diplomacy, in the opinion of the humane, ought always to be attempted before hostility. The humane and successful preferred their diplomacy conducted while at the head of an army. Despite the impossibility of conjecturing how fairy kings and queens would respond to that style of argumentation, Atkosol judged it worth trying.


    His principal demands, that they give up all their power and surrender the secrets of the central area to his wife, doubtless must strike any monarch unfavorably. He prepared a series of allowances and concessions to mollify the fairies, who in forcing the humans to make them could preserve their dignity. In the end, he would insist only on cooperation with the study of Ertith Energy, a term becoming harder to dislodge by the day, and an end to their aggressive recruitment methods. The strongest would be allowed to preserve their titles, their local aesthetics, and their names if they still wanted them after Atkosol made his library available to search for compelling historical figures. As for Hacanthu, the dispute was susceptible to several resolutions which they had perhaps not considered. They might submit the matter to a judge or a committee chosen with the acceptance of all participants. A tournament of champions was easy to arrange, and unquestionably they deserved a portion of the ticket proceeds. Other proposals could be considered. Further, any fairy ruler who opted to embrace the delights of travel could depend on Atkosol for a small tourism package including reasonable funds, a horse or donkey at the fairy''s preference, and letters of introduction addressed to the elite of various lands.


    Indecision can undermine any enterprise, termite-like, a lesson Atkosol had learned long ago and incorporated into several speeches. He ordered the diplomacy tour to commence directly after the final strategic conference. Any further planning must fail to be useful unless accompanied by knowledge of which rulers accepted the proposal and which rejected it, at which point Medant Denmarof would tailor a strategy appropriate to the circumstances or else take a position of less responsibility such as, to give an example, former guard-captain. The camp had set up a betting pool on how many kings and queens would capitulate (as cultural observers would have expected, the Yean Defiafi work gang wanted to bet desserts while the Adabans deemed the proper currency to be work shifts), and the matter consequently had all the more urgency.


    The mustered army''s bulk comprised more than two hundred troops mostly of the Workman and Small Fry classes, the latter having the honor of the front ranks. Medant further commanded a cohort of fairies who, upon being informed that the army''s Ritualists would take no precautions against afflicting them with rituals, declared that was exactly what they wanted. An assortment of advanced combat classes assembled by happenstance rather than design added to the force''s effectiveness as well as its cost, similar to a confectionery sampler to which Shtaugirs affixed his signature. Myrmidon Medant Denmarof, Symbol Knight Gabdirn Haubentlag, Battler Millim Takki Atsa, Brawny Knights Onsalkant Tlol and Onsalked Otnilk, and others, mostly travelers, tried not to awe the common soldier too much. The four participating Ritualists meanwhile exceeded the typical complement of that class in an Adaban fighting force by four. Altogether the volunteer legion barely qualified for the duty of shooing livestock out of the real army''s path, but thus far fairies had offered less resistance than cows.


    The limitations of fairy transportation, or Lommad transportation to be more exact, had been tested. Her capacity for moving people to the fairy realm encompassed approximately ¡°a full party¡± in her words. She handled over three hundred people spread across an area equal to the average theater without issue, and only the difficulty of rounding up subjects for the experiments prevented her from yanking more. Entessihotka representatives threw big parties.


    The entire army manifested in the lake district at Atkosol''s command, which consisted of the word ¡°please.¡± The few soldiers who had not been there as part of a test, the two Brawny Knights for example, possessed enough discipline not to express their amazement. Nor their disappointment. Some time was required, the old hands knew, to appreciate how uncanny the fairy world was, if that could indeed be done while among a couple hundred other humans who imposed their mundanity on the scene and even provided their own wind.


    The stolidity of the Brawny Knights, a pair of professional mercenaries specializing in convoy escort, held firm even when presented with a glittering lake that surrounded a fairy castle like sleep around dreams or a vault around money. That of the amateurs did not. The noise produced by their startled cries was appropriate only for tribes which traditionally lost to Adabans, and Medant ordered Lieutenant Gabdirn to look at them accusingly. For the guard-captain to do it would have lowered the authority he derived from remoteness while reducing the troops to shame rather than compliance, he later informed Dirant incidentally while giving a statement to a clutch of reporters.


    A request for an audience received immediate consideration and approval, the event occurring directly afterward. Whatever the cynic who reduced every interaction to force or the threat of such suspected, the army did not contribute to that process. For all the grandeur of the castle, Ydridd dealt with less in all her kingdom than the mayor of Ividottlof did in his one small town. There were art galleries whose curators were busier. The queen would have seen a mouse on the spot if it learned to talk and petitioned for more abandoned temples to inhabit and store magic swords, which perhaps had happened. Regardless, Atkosol entered the throne room along with his lesser diplomats, which might not have been allowed had the fairies understood most of them were also officers commissioned on the basis that they were good in a fight.


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    Queen Ydridd rejected the offer. ¡°We have a general, we have a claim, and we are not intimidated by your army.¡±


    ¡°Perhaps if you troubled yourself to view it . . .¡± Atkosol suggested.


    ¡°We are fairly certain that is a duty of generals. Doltandon Yurvitas, is that true?¡±


    ¡°Yes, Your Majesty.¡± Dirant, Aptezor, and Taomenk had either been mistaken about Yurvitas''s intentions or correct about the probable outcome. He had become a general himself to replace the one he sold Ydridd. Only a private conversation might reveal whether he had accepted the position after failing to dig his way out, deprived of an engineer''s assistance as he had been, and any such conversation was more likely to consist of shouts and suggestions of violence than anything informative. Nevertheless, Dirant believed it, and he convinced several other members of the delegation while Yurvitas and his second-in-command Gelfid Etenkloss, who appeared less dissatisfied with that position than her old one, went on a quick mission of inspection at Ydridd''s behest.


    ¡°Ought we to be intimidated?¡± the queen asked her general when he returned.


    ¡°Exceedingly so, Your Majesty.¡±


    ¡°Gelfid?¡±


    ¡°Their army is far superior to yours in size and quality.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± Ydridd tried to think about her inferior martial position while retaining her royal demeanor and had trouble enough with the former alone. ¡°Fix that. We remain unintimidated.¡±


    None of Atkosol''s concessions moved the queen. Her officers knew they would not; Doltandon''s smiles increased in wryness while agitation hopped around Gelfid and tugged at her like an impatient little sister. Atkosol in the end withdrew disappointed, though not devastated. ¡°Stubbornness often is dissolved by reflection,¡± he said before ordering his guard-captain to arrange a marching song. As the column departed, Queen Ydridd was seen on a balcony, looking down on the ordered ranks and listening to their voices made ominous by uniformity. She retreated when she realized she had been detected, uncommon behavior for the fearless.


    Atkosol directed his private force to enter the beach district. As appealing as it was to play the old hand, the people who had participated in earlier fairy adventures had been far too honest about the boundaries of their travels to claim they knew anything about that area. Taomenk, Lommad, and a few escorts alone had been to the beach, mountain, and sky districts as fairies identified them, though not with enough consistency for a style guide to insist on Sky District. ¡°Are they not kingdoms?¡± more than one person asked, receiving of course no answer.


    The beach kingdom over which Jiojjil ruled, not that fairy kings were known to do much besides give palaces to people who already owned a couple, presented relaxing oceanfront scenery familiar to survivors of the Suvozingedyai Sea as it lurked in their memories. The ocean wailed in a far less figurative sense than hearers liked, especially poets deprived thereby of opportunities for invention. Waves and swells did not comport to the usual behavior of such in the standard world; rather than rising and falling in proper sequence, watery mounds formed and stayed around as long as they liked, and if they often resembled faces in agony, that was simply one additional rudeness. The color of it also refused to be pleasant, mostly gray with diseased-white highlights and, some swore later, streaks of blood.


    The visitor suspected the adjacent beach to have been designed to build expectations for the ocean to dash, if he were a pessimist. The pessimist of a different sort suggested the land and sea to have been formed by gods on different committees who failed to coordinate their efforts. As for optimists, there were none. Not there.


    The sands of the beach shone like gold and silver. Before the army mobilized, Mr. Taomenk assured the troops that the sands had been found not to be precious metals in order to prevent the historically common scenario of soldiers abandoning their formation for plunder. He went on, far too honestly, to state he was not yet sure what materials they were. On hearing that the troops engaged in some modest looting, reckoning that a pocketful of possibly valuable sand beat wasted space unless fairy curses altered the calculation. Aside from that, fruit-bearing bushes studded the terrain where travelers of broad scope expected palm trees. What kind of fruit went unexamined on the advice of countless fables.


    Out of all the regions, the beach had the least usable area. Across from the sea, high cliffs ensured no visitor got the idea he could escape his misery. Even so, roads surely could be cut through those and enable the construction of a tourist resort aimed at lovers of the macabre, to say nothing of the potential if the ocean could be corrected. The notion did not seem impossible. Water in the fay world was susceptible to categorization in a way the normal sort was not, and if a method existed to convert Jiojjil''s wicked surf into the friendly kind which supported footsteps in Ydridd''s country, the resulting property values would create a thousand Atkosols provided the legal determinations went the right way. The existing Mr. Atkosol had not promised each soldier plots in the conquered territories, but precedent favored that outcome. The legion''s potential plutocrats thought about that in preference to contemplating the terrible ocean.


    A procession of armed troops attracts notice. That statement held in Greater Enloffenkir, Chtrebliseu, Neast, or anywhere else humans settled, and though the reaction might have been different in fairyland, it was not. The denizens who peeked over the cliffs, jogged alongside on the beach, or paused to wave before going about whatever it was that occupied them all day did however lack the intense concern felt by civilians worried about possible damage to their crops, their homes, and their persons. They treated the diplomatic effort more in the manner of a parade, down to the addition of a bard who provided some marching music.


    ¡°How many syllables are in your general''s name?¡± Wiuyo asked, and the answer pleased. She repaid the favor Medant''s parents had done her by informing them Jiojjil''s army was still at his hall as recently as half an hour earlier if they wanted to have a gigantic battle worthy of an entire cycle of songs.


    ¡°Unless there are more than five thousand fairies there, the song must figure in a comedy and nothing serious.¡± That was the consensus among the Adabans, but they received the tip gratefully on account of its promise they would finish that stage of their march within the estimated period, which was the actual result.

 32. The Challenge Of The Sea-Girt Hall

    Jiojjil had fashioned for himself a residence far unlike Ydridd''s splendid castle or Ava''s avant-garde installation. Millim Takki Atsa of Pavvu Omme Os likened it to the great hall of a clan chief risen to prominence over a hundred other clans by his bravery in battle and in peace his generosity. Doubtless supplicants who came to him never were permitted to leave but that they received some boon, and justice was ever upheld.


    ¡°I don''t think we need to be cynical about our traditional culture to guess that isn''t what really goes on there, but that''s the superficial association,¡± she said.


    The hall''s rude charm fit in with her description. So narrow that likely it contained but a single room, it extended far past the beach where stilts hefted its rear above the hideous sea, and its tall roof pitched so sharply that sledding contests might be held there if the weather could be convinced to deliver snow. Whatever wood composed the edifice, the thick brown planks implied a sobriety free of severity.


    Jiojjil received the ambassadors in his hall with no more reluctance than Ydridd had. The interior continued appealing to the sensibilities of Pavvu Omme Os, though with the provision that old buildings could get away with imperfections no longer overlooked. The furs lining the walls might be kept, but modern taxidermy would have greatly enhanced the scene, and of course the hardwood planks which made up the floor wanted an infusion of sophistication from an imported Chtrebliseuan rug or an array of Obeneutian porcelain tiles.


    That was Takki''s opinion. The Adabans recommended more windows and a spire on the front and back, while the Defiafis suggested the optimal approach to redecorating started with hiring a professional arsonist. The tableware might be removed prior to that, of course. Clumps of fairies around small tables were raising two-handled cups of gold, oak, and bone which suggested the three spheres of earth, plant, and flesh into which the old philosophers divided the world, and though the system lacked something from the practical perspective, symbolically it held up well. Someone possessed of a more comprehensive aesthetic sense likely would have concluded what needed changing was the inhabitants, whose mixtures of dress from across years and cultures ruined the unity of the tableau.


    Jiojjil himself did not fit in with Takki''s image of a widely famed chief. He had the necessary broadness, the heroic height (shorter than the majority of Adaban men rather than all of them), and though his bristly brown mustache was not known to be the fashion of those times, neither had irrefutable evidence proved it not to be. His armor, however, forestalled any idea of connecting him with the ancient north. Bronze armor emphasized the muscles he possibly had cultivated underneath, particularly in the abdominal area, a style never adopted there. The helmet was surmounted by the head of a slain boar which may not have been a boar and may not have been dead. Its eyes twinkled. Jiojjil''s did not; he stared in a way which suggested, when combined with recent revelations about the mother of Atkosol''s four children, certain notions about Aptezor Ristaofen''s lineage.


    ¡°Welcome to the hall of Jiojjil, the hall of heroes! Jiojjil was a hero, and his memory will endure forever here! When I have won the name of Hacanthu, one of these will earn the old name through his feats.¡± He indicated his fairy warriors and some humans too, as the ambassadors realized when they looked closer at the warriors.


    The humans nodded at Mr. Atkosol. Despite their involuntary recruitment, they appeared willing enough to cooperate with Jiojjil at least to the extent of wearing fur coats and drinking. Likely they belonged to the latest wave of visitors who went to Ividottlof after reading enticing reports of fairy incidents placed delicately between rows of disclaimers like pressed flowers. Far from being terrified at being snatched from the real world whether by the strange influence around Cowsick Point or roaming fairies, they considered that the beginning of their vacations.


    Undoubtedly their families, friends, and people who believed themselves situated to give advice in a lecturing manner had attempted to dissuade them, except in those cases where they all went together. The skeptics were correct insofar as the chance of ending up in Jiojjil''s territory was twenty out of every hundred, but the tourists fortunate enough to reach his hall regretted nothing about their choices. They received a complimentary set of equipment including a bearskin and at least one weapon, and furthermore they could take advantage of free room and board until such time as they left the great fairy''s service, an event they fervently hoped would coincide with his rivals'' submissions.


    Jiojjil provided food and drink for Atkosol''s subordinates as well, and neither did he take it away when their chief requested that he yield to Lommad. ¡°There''s no wonder that you want that, I tell you,¡± he said with magnanimity. ¡°Survey this hall, this beach, this land of struggles and triumph I have created, a paradise for the strong! Long ago, a man might wander off the path and find hospitality in my realm along with, I''m not shy to say, a game to test his wits and courage! Jiojjil overcame my challenge when that storm forced him into my shelter. I did not change my name then. Only when I realized the generative potential of the magic the old dwellers here discovered to extend my realm over miles and miles did I match my name to my newfound ambition.¡±


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    Perhaps the incomprehensible means by which everyone regardless of language understood fairies distorted his speech, but the keen listener doubted whether someone who said ¡°generative potential¡± belonged in the milieu Jiojjil had adopted for himself. The wealthy Defiafis who pretended to work in rural inns for a week came to mind, as did academics who made the study of ancient methods of warfare their excuse to dress up and bonk one another with padded replicas. Regardless of how suitable Jiojjil was for a humorous role in the entertainment sure to be inspired by the ongoing situation around Cowsick Point, for one of the fairy kings to have such an intellectual cast of mind as to be interested in the nature and uses of the Ertith Energy was fortuitous. His incidental remarks told his audience more about the issue than any number of fairies trying to be helpful had.


    Atkosol failed to elicit any further insight through further negotiation. Surrendering on that front, he was beginning the process of increasingly generous offers when Jiojjil held up a hand. ¡°I won''t have you wasting your time on elegant speeches. We agreed, the five of us, to go against one another for mastery. I can make one single concession to you: I recognize Queen Lommad as a sixth contender. Stay as long as you wish, but when you leave, you will never pass through these doors again save as a conqueror.¡±


    That was plain enough, and a resolution from which the delegation had no power to move him. Out of all the humans and fairies assembled to enjoy Jiojjil''s largesse, only one evinced any desire to hear more of Atkosol''s pitch. A lanky Adaban whose approach to style assaulted the very concept with such ferocity that it might be considered fashionable in a contrarian manner, encapsulated in the way he evidently brushed his hair away from his face in the morning and never thought of it again for a set period of twenty-four hours, presented himself to Atkosol in the corner farthest from Jiojjil where the officers convened to waste time before admitting defeat. ¡°Meeting here must be a blessing,¡± he said. Visitors to Iflarent''s Hideout soon became familiar with that local variant of the standard greeting. ¡°Paosolt Tobalilk, deputy mayor of Ividottlof and Mr. Jiojjil''s general.¡±


    ¡°For me as well,¡± Atkosol responded. That was another local variant, if from a far different locality. Exchanges such as that brought into question the existence of a standard, but the Kitslofers maintained there was one. ¡°Atkosol Tellanstal. I was told when I attempted to make your acquaintance that you were away on your property.¡±


    Paosolt nodded eagerly and then adopted a morose expression, a pair of maneuvers which might as easily have been combined in the opinion of most. ¡°And that''s what I get for being a responsible landowner and not getting a family either. It''s too normal for nobody to see me for a while, so when I passed by the Point for good luck as I often do, I don''t take it seriously but I do it, and went somewhere else, I knew nobody would look for me even though I''m not too much disliked. I''ve learned since then that being a general isn''t far from being deputy mayor. Mostly I remind Mr. Jiojjil of things and listen, patiently. That''s why I hope to be indulged in hearing you out, Mr. Atkosol, in case it''s important later in judging your intentions and possible terms and so. Mr. Jiojjil likes his bold statements and I don''t think that''s wrong, but I''ve heard enough about history to know wars aren''t usually prosecuted to the utmost.¡±


    He raced through his account and his request at Ividottlofer speed so that he addressed both in the time many would have expended on one. Thereafter he discussed with Atkosol various proposals, contingencies, and how the town was doing, though that last required some of the subordinates be consulted. They all attested that it was doing fine, aside from the escalating disappearances which they hoped soon to resolve.


    ¡°Thank you for letting me know. It''s not that I thought the town must fall apart without me, but a man worries more after he''s made deputy mayor than before. Speaking of that, can it be done that you lend me stationery and pens? I won''t be giving them back, but I can pay for it if I get home. We generals can write each other that way to arrange for burials and so. Ah, if you''re asking why this fool wants to trouble me about letters when there are so many couriers, fairies can be trusted to hand something over but not to remember a message in my experience. They can''t even read.¡±


    Naturally Atkosol obliged and parted with friendly words for both Deputy Mayor General Paosolt and Jiojjil, whose preferred title was unclear. Outside Medant put the army in order to resume the march, which for many of the soldiers required that they drop the victuals Jiojjil had been so considerate as to provide for them as well. He had further been scrupulous enough not to poison them. The word ¡°drop¡± of course referred to stacking their plates, bowls, and cups in a neat pile on the beach for subsequent reclamation by servants. The workers had enough of a sense of propriety for that even before their drills.

 33. The Strongest Enemy In The World

    Morale among the rank and file was higher than ever, but two consecutive refusals discouraged the officers. Odibink, a lieutenant placed in charge of fussing, complained, ¡°These fairies, are they the most stubborn living things that refuse to see sense on the continent? I have not met a single person less willing to listen than they are. That is after gallery exhibitions for a public that has the most . . . they simply . . . the criticisms are at times frustrating. The difference is that in eighty out of every hundred cases, if I explain personally that a reconstruction is intended to aid our understanding of an ancient people entirely without accounting for modern techniques and tastes, the person thanks me for the clarification. And then! In nineteen of the remaining cases, fellow patrons mock the dullard unable to understand that. The last case is the only case among the fairies, it seems to me. Is there reason to abandon this farce and simply attack? I think there is.¡±


    ¡°What do you think, Ressi?¡± asked Takki, a lieutenant assigned the responsibility of belonging to a good class. ¡°Does Mr. Odibink really have to tell people what a reconstruction is?¡±


    Ritualist Lieutenant Dirant responded, ¡°Undoubtedly, but I''m unsure about the proportions he assigns.¡±


    While the majority of the officers thought Odibink slightly overwrought in his objections, they agreed with the probable futility of the diplomatic endeavor. Atkosol tolerated their discontent until talk about it flagged, at which time he smiled after the fashion of a man who owns a horse scheduled to compete in a race in Egilof and has contrived to subvert all the competing jockeys. ¡°Our negotiations with Ydridd may as well not have happened, but gentlemen, you say you believe the same about our recent effort, or?¡±


    Everyone except Odibink recognized the answer to a question posed in that manner ought to be no. He suffered from an exercised state which interfered with his judgment and consequently complied with Mr. Atkosol''s evident wish. ¡°Yes, I do.¡±


    ¡°Good. I am happy to have your opinion. My own is that either the first letter or the second we receive from Mr. Paosolt will contain an offer to betray his master.¡±


    ¡°He''s right! Why did I not see it?¡± Taomenk exclaimed, and before the army left the beach, a fairy courier handed over a missive which fulfilled the prediction. Atkosol refrained from gloating, whether from the stolidity of his character or because Lommad smiled smugly enough for the both of them, their children, assorted other relatives, and the entire state of Opstliknetta which had the wisdom to make him its representative for a time.


    The fantastical qualities of the fairy world sometimes resulted in conveniences unavailable in the normal for all that one had to put up with ogres and, reportedly, chimeras to avail oneself of them. Every day people incurred neck pains from gazing at the clouds to appreciate their beauty, decide whether to go visiting, or attempt to divine information relevant to their livelihoods. The sky district did away with that nuisance of looking up, and if looking down risked the same problem, it discouraged that through fear.


    The sky there was underfoot and more of a picturesque element on which fairies walked as carelessly as they did the water in Ydridd''s moat. No town square had so many cross it with so little concern for the stability of their footing. The soldiers demurred, and when reminded of the traversable water elsewhere, they made a distinction between the two in that they could swim, or at least knew someone else could. Not just a rope but an entire harness designed by continentally recognized engineer Taomenk Genarostaf and attached to iron rods sunk into the earth was the prerequisite for persuading the possessor of the highest Verve, a Small Fry of course, to take a single step. The second step came after several other volunteers took their first.


    Eventually, most were able to convince themselves the district''s ground deceived the senses by its color, that clever artistic methods had been employed to give the appearance of clouds and scattered peeks of the ground below when in reality they existed only as embellishment for a flat plane. A minority lacked the capability to forget contradictory evidence so readily. For one thing, nothing they knew about fairies could be interpreted as clever.


    ¡°We should have done the ziggurat first,¡± Mr. Gabdirn said out of the hearing of the common thinboot. ¡°It is made to be sophisticated.¡±


    ¡°''Baffling'' is closer to what I think, but it is impressive, certainly.¡± Medant returned to the body of the army after giving his troops who believed themselves incapable of advancing the important yet shameful duty of preparing certain facilities unmentionable in polite company in the borderlands as close to the center as they could get. He thereupon led the army forward, and his undiminished cheer encouraged everyone to step lively.


    Many condottieri liked to word simple statements in grand fashion, and the interviewers liked for them to do it. Studying a map might become, ¡°I caused myself to be reborn as a native of this region. Did I not climb that tree when a child? Was it not on that hill that I watched, waiting for her to pass whom my youth fancied as my love? The records dismiss the idea, but during the campaign, then it was so.¡± In the same mode they likened themselves to forgers required by greed and hope of evading the law to study scenes of battles, of patrol schedules, and of troop dispositions until they knew them better than did the original painter. What they meant of course was that they preferred to have some idea of how the other fellow did things.


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    Any of them, from a single look at Guard-Captain Medant, would have understood his thoughts then as if his mind had indeed been recreated from the stuff of careful observation. ¡°Under no circumstances will I allow a combat here. More than that, I must resign and find a new career the instant that occurs.¡± The lively steps lasted approximately the length of an archery range before they degenerated into wobbly ones. Every now and then a marcher dropped to check with inquisitive hands that the ground was there. The volume of sweat produced, if concentrated rather than allowed to drip haphazardly, sufficed to convert that country into a second lake district. Atkosol made half the journey with his eyes closed, guided by his wife, and the other half with them raised, guided identically.


    Before the troops began to decorate the ground in natural colors, the column arrived. Not at Zatdil''s tower, visible in the distance as a pillar shaped like twisting clouds or three tornadoes intertwined which rose higher and higher in the manner of a ziggurat''s spiral staircase. The army had reached Zatdil himself.


    None of the humans knew that at the time. They saw a fairy who chose not to confine his more ridiculous inclinations to his own property or a theatrical production. Theater came to mind on account of his dress, which appeared to be a set of plate armor designed by someone who had never worn or so much as seen any, which described most costume designers. The same could be said of the greater population, but they never tried to make their own. Two reds covered it, blood and ruby, and in the fairy world it might be believed rubies were involved in its creation. Closer inspection revealed it had black as well where joints between segments ought to be, for the entire bodily portion consisted of a single piece that was in reality a long-sleeved tunic. The part of the helmet was played by a simple red cap, perhaps at the request of an actor unwilling to deny the world his visage. That was gracious of him, since he had the face for a nobler production than a show in the middle of a field. Audiences like a solid chin and a wide, expressive mouth when the hero declaims. His height damaged his suitability, however.


    Then he spoke, and half the army bowed. The listeners felt no urge to jump out a window, but if one had been available, and the speaker ordered it, they would have thought the matter over. His voice, though not intimidatingly deep nor skillfully high, resonated so that it seemed his earlier words continued to echo throughout his speech in the manner of a drumbeat behind the string section.


    ¡°The man able to defeat Zatdil Akavinnux Scaurrdex Ikakach is not a man but a god. You humans, what fairy has sent you? Sullen Ishtu? Dull Ydridd? False Jiojjil? Transparent Ava? The sole sign of intelligence in any of them is that they know their own impotence. They rely on humans to win their battles. Why not? They admired humans enough to adopt their names. I, Zatdil, took as my model a more exalted being worth four hundred of the highest-leveled warriors. I trained to reach that peak of strength. Are you the finest fighters of the day? Do you have four hundred?¡±


    For all his masterful presence, those questions sounded other than rhetorical, indicating a person not entirely sure how high his training had taken him. The army''s confidence rose with visible signs. No longer did the soldiers look down every few seconds or have the expression of a first-time candidate for a local office who, five minutes before his speech to an assembly of undetermined voters, realizes he has forgotten everything he rehearsed. The sentiment of the rank and file, inchoate yet nevertheless perceptible, shifted to, ¡°Can we not grab this fairy king on the spot?¡± Even Medant reconsidered his recent conclusions.


    Among the more academically inclined members of the officer corps, the greatest interest in Zatdil''s introduction was not the inference of martial weakness but the implication of people neither human nor fairy who bore names and performed deeds worth emulating. Must the ancient legends long dismissed as imagination, exaggeration, or confused accounts of authentic but mundane occurrences be reexamined? Certainly this Zatdil may have been mistaken about that Zatdil just as their ancestors misinterpreted unknown class abilities, atmospheric phenomena, and unusual animal behavior, creating from them stories of talking animals, mobile trees, mountains with volition, and storm lords who roamed the land to seize the daring and make them guardians of the horizon. Even so, the topic seized the curiosity of several minds.


    Atkosol opened the negotiations by addressing an apparent contradiction he thought indicative of an avenue conducive to a productive discussion. ¡°Do you then not share the desire to claim the name of Hacanthu, a human king as I understand the matter?¡±


    That began a debate full of subtle arguments and clever counterarguments confined entirely within Zatdil''s mind. He said nothing, but his features revealed his inner deliberations through movements of his mouth, eyebrows, his tongue as revealed by his bulging cheek, and more. At last he came to a decision. ¡°Challenge my tower if you dare!¡± he shouted and leapt backwards toward it with such a lengthy bound as would bring him trophies and accusations of cheating at any athletic competition. After landing, he made a gesture possibly of rude significance to people however many millennia ago and sprinted to his base.


    ¡°Guard-Captain?¡±


    ¡°I recommend against challenging his tower, Mr. Atkosol.¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± With that, the legion turned and marched.

 34. Heavens Breath Blows Soft

    Ishtu''s mountain district suited the tastes of the visitors far more. While taking their break at the prepared facilities in the border zone, speculation of what awaited the army converged on the idea of a single mountain with sheer sides which of course the climber could surmount simply by walking vertically. With surprised joy they contemplated the reality, if such a term might be applied to a playground molded by a fairy king.


    Broad trails wound gently upward next to and over streams suggestive of the landscapes made by painters who were more popular inside homes than in galleries. The absence of fish disappointed soldiers hoping to be given land there, but perhaps Mrs. Atkosol would gain the means to remedy that once she took over. At places a flat shelf gave a platform for something which approached a garden, full of flowers blooming beneath pines, firs, and red bayberries. An occasional boulder may have been designed for comfortable reclining, and if not, fairies put them to that use regardless.


    The mountain had one unnerving element. Though the travelers knew it to be day, for they had started in the morning and the fairy realms, while Mr. Taomenk calculated them to be greater in area than an Ertithan city, extended not so far as the state of Enpasatosalkir, evening intruded there. Moreover, the stars just beginning to shine, or that was the impression one had despite suspecting them to be fixtures, seemed close enough that a single ladder or perhaps a siege tower sufficed to reach them. The various theories about the nature and composition of stars were a short climb away from validation, provided the scientific establishment could be persuaded that Ishtu knew more about it than it did.


    Among those pleasant environs and relaxing residents the army came upon a tent of the sort a Dvanjchtlivan scholar would devise if attempting to gain a better understanding of his tribe''s past through practical recreation. A dozen lines from scattered epic poems, as effectively as they transported the reader (or, ideally, listener) to a past age of glory and virtue, the latter what his ancestors possessed and the former their reward, did little to elucidate the actual conditions which prevailed on the Dvanj Plateau of centuries past.


    Fairies who anticipated a battle but suspected it needed help to get underway pointed at the fairy crouched in front of the tent. ¡°That''s Ishtu,¡± they called out. Ishtu looked up in response, saw an army, and stood. He was the first fairy who measured up to the taller among the Adabans, or the Riks to be fair to Mr. Odibink. Perhaps a rough mountain life contributed to his stature, though the simple combination of a topographical map and a Jalpi Peffu adequately refuted the notion. For the rest of his appearance, perhaps the cost of acquiring that much wool prevented him from putting any decorative accents on it. The humblest farmer of Greater Enloffenkir dressed himself up more ostentatiously than did Ishtu, though the humblest farmhand might not. The simplicity of his costume of course did not proof the identification false. A king might camp in the mountains, rule his kingdom from a tiny tent, and receive ambassadors while clothed in the simplest coat and leggings but still be a king.


    He watched the delegation approach with blue eyes which, contrary to the recommendations of medical specialists, continuously shifted as if waves were contained therein. Hearing Atkosol''s introduction, he grunted, pointed to another tent a few yards away, and squatted again.


    ¡°Does he intend for us to put my palace there?¡± Lommad wondered.


    Though unlikely, no other theory for the reason behind Ishtu''s seemed plausible with the available information. Seeking more, Medant peered inside, saw a human, and informed his employer, who greeted the inmate.


    ¡°Meeting here must be a blessing. My name is Atkosol Tellanstal. I am here to negotiate with Ishtu. Are you his general, or?¡±


    ¡°Seems so. We should have met earlier, Mr. Atkosol, but misfortune interposed itself. Not everyone can overcome it. My name is Hwohyesu.¡± The man spoke while extricating himself from the tent, a process obviously unfamiliar to him. He still looked hunched over compared to Ishtu after he managed, but most people did. He probably beat Zatdil in height, and how that compared to his fellow citizens of the country of Zeuhyac far south across the ocean was a mystery only the most cosmopolitan could solve. Travel journals suggested his blond hair so light as to approach white fit in with his compatriots well enough, as did his bowl cut.


    As expected of a man with his reputation, Mr. Hwohyesu belonged to that age when someone could be considered established in his career yet had time to enjoy it, similar to Mr. Taomenk and Mr. Odibink. Certainly he had a reasonable income to judge by the quality of his Stegzin silk shirt decorated with fruits and nuts. Authorities on intercontinental travel recommended hardier clothing, and he had not neglected that advice altogether. His high, thick boots and broad Adaban hat protected the top and bottom of his person, the regions most at risk from common hazards.


    He, Atkosol, Odibink, and Gabdirn exchanged warm greetings, warm in both the sense of geniality and in that they fell to arguing about Iflarent''s Hideout before Hwohyesu had been rescued and taken to it. ¡°The fairies have let me look at some caverns,¡± he clarified. ¡°Very kind of them. For a time I thought perhaps they were Ertithans. I learned otherwise when they condescended to talk about them a little. It wasn''t how we speak of our forebears.¡± Taomenk and Dirant looked at each and nodded authoritatively.


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    The conversation heated up as the participants set out their observations and insights without always distinguishing the two. Takki nudged Dirant. ¡°Ressi, don''t you think Ishtu is interpreting all this as a prelude to violence? He''s sharpening a knife.¡±


    Dirant glanced over, unobtrusively he hoped. To him, the junior ambassador''s role consisted of demonstrating by his existence that the head ambassador had the prestige to be given subordinates, asking the local Stadeskosken branch office if that package had come in yet, and sweating. Drawing notice would exceed both his responsibilities and good taste. ¡°He is, though I must apologize if it is discourteous to suggest ''knife'' is too humble a term for that blade.¡±


    ¡°Any weapon someone that tall holds looks like a knife. Oh, but he''s just a little taller than you are, Ressi.¡±


    As much as Dirant appreciated the sincerity of her assurance, he had not needed one before she offered it. He further conjectured he would have preferred wording more along the lines of, ¡°Your height is nearly as overwhelming as his,¡± but since he saw no way to justify the preference, he kept silent on the issue. He did alert Medant to the observation about the short sword.


    ¡°Be ready to follow your orders, Lieutenant. Also that is inarguably a knife.¡±


    ¡°Permit me to argue the proposition.¡±


    ¡°Denied.¡±


    In the end, the experts averted a sudden onset of violence by agreeing further excavation was required, as everyone always did aside from the people paying for it, though in that instance he too wholeheartedly agreed. The participants rose to go home or to other engagements, likely as the speaker of honor somewhere, before they realized the actual meeting had not yet started. Atkosol cleared his throat to remind them. He then laid out his proposals.


    ¡°What are the applications of the Ertith Energy? Ertith Energy.¡± Hwohyesu repeated the phrase in the surprised, contemptuous manner of a father whose son has informed him of the career he wishes to pursue.


    ¡°Undetermined aside from increasing the size of a fairy king''s domain.¡±


    ¡°Hm. I will relay all this to Ishtu if eloquence doesn''t fail me, but I can''t claim you should feel optimistic. He''s motivated primarily by a territorial instinct.¡±


    ¡°Unfortunate. It is to be hoped your intervention will tell with him.¡±


    ¡°I don''t know about that.¡± Hwohyesu, recovered from the distasteful Ertith Energy nomenclature incident, spoke after the thoughtful fashion of someone wondering where he had left an item he ought to recover, though no urgency was indicated. An umbrella perhaps, or a son. ¡°Ishtu and his people have baffled death for so long. Providence failed to preserve the Ertithans, so who can say fairies who have some memories of them aren''t better stewards of their legacy than . . . than us?¡±


    By ¡°us¡± he intended ¡°you,¡± and ¡°you¡± was to be replaced by ¡°Adabans¡± according to the cipher which nobody mentioned aloud but everyone understood. That Atkosol belonged to the Riks rather than the Adabans counted for nothing to foreigners, let alone ones still trying to make up their minds about events which transpired several thousand years ago. Allowing for that, Atkosol did not feel it necessary to correct him.


    ¡°Besides, your intent is to drive the fairies out. Mine is to get information from them.¡±


    For the first time on the tour, the other party had said something which Atkosol believed he owed consideration. ¡°Is there a method for doing so, or? Any tidbit we have learned has been an accident.¡±


    ¡°Likewise, but I haven''t given up.¡±


    With no more concessions to make, the embassy moved on, acknowledged by Ishtu with a grunt. That time Atkosol did not expect a swift offer of cooperation, for all that the general again wished to maintain a diplomatic channel, or rather an avenue for scholarly correspondence.


    ¡°He may do a turn when he gets nothing from them,¡± Gabdirn speculated.


    ¡°It isn''t unthinkable,¡± Odibink allowed. ¡°In a decade or two. You know about the stubbornness of researchers, do you not? You must.¡±


    When asked for his military opinion, Guard-Captain Medant broke from the learned officers insofar as he hoped Hwohyesu would remain Ishtu''s general for the campaign''s duration. ¡°A fortified mountain is a dangerous mountain, but they aren''t fortifying it. A replacement might have the right idea. Right now, this is my favorite district, and I want to draw Zatdil here.¡±


    His fondness for the waste district was less, though historical considerations affected his judgment just as much as the strategic. On the way to Ava''s dual ziggurat, he asked for clarification. ¡°Sir, this is the last district. In the event that your offer is rejected here, do we begin the campaign forthwith?¡± The eagerness in the question suggested the desired answer as well as the reason he asked it at all.


    Atkosol nodded. ¡°Yes, do that once my wife and I return.¡± Medant''s stride gained intensity, like a critic en route to a play he anticipated giving a humorously biting review.


    The more combat-attuned officers noticed. ¡°That''s a good sign, Ressi. Morale is important.¡±


    ¡°Yes, and therefore I will confine my gloomy distrust to select company. Is something changed about this district from our previous visit, or?¡±


    The old hands looked around the ugly and barren landscape. That aspect had remained constant. Buildings continued to be placed with no plan or evidence of use, a palm tree faced a cherry tree without regard for geographical respectability, and the sky remained clear and dully blue, as if laziness prevented it from ever changing to night.


    ¡°I think you''re right, Mr. Dirant, but I can''t say why.¡± Taomenk shuddered from a sudden chill. ¡°Ah! The wind!¡±


    He was not referring to a past construction project undone by the vicissitudes of weather, or if he was, a breeze blew through notwithstanding. Alone among the districts and unlike before, wind existed there. Moreover, its intensity increased as the army marched, though not to that pitch which sent the wise home and the foolhardy to a theater where a subpar goslikenar was to be performed.

 35. Off We Go To The City Grand, Im For The Show And Youre For The Race Stands

    When keener eyes could see the top of the strange palace Queen Ava had erected, difficult for them to believe even then, the attentive ones saw the army she had assembled. A line of fairies and some humans stretched between two palisades which ran perpendicular to the line of soldiers, arms ready for an encounter. Overlooking them, a conveyance surrounded by four ogres who may or may not have been brothers rested on a hill.


    ¡°I was convinced she did not hear a word I said, but how wrong I was. She simply did not understand it. Ah, but I may not have explained thoroughly the use of walls when I was begging for fairies who knew how to build them.¡± That Ava had managed to draw up her force in any kind of order impressed Medant, but her formation which was a single rank deep did not.


    The lesser officers took more notice of the hill. The trees there shook because of a gale that seemed from its effects to swirl around the palanquin in a circle reminiscent of the whirling watery barrier of a phantom spout. Up to then, they had come to believe fairy magic not to be so versatile and potent as the stories claimed or, more recently, that the strongest were expending it all on gardening. The prospect of a fairy queen adding the terrible power of a nature she herself created to the strength of her underlings was enough to send any military planner to his hometown in order to take up the family business after all. Then again, if the competence she displayed in her deployments carried over, a brisk breeze that mussed their hair might be the worst the invaders suffered.


    Rumors of the Greater Enloffenkir parley conventions had spread, and so the meeting was soon arranged. Before it, thinking events might fall out such that he would have no opportunity later, Guard-Captain Medant delivered an inspirational speech to his troops which dwelt on certain key points such as their training that made them invincible in comparison, what they might do with the bonuses for excellent conduct Mr. Atkosol promised, and the difference between excellence in battle and conspicuousness.


    The delegation advanced, each of the foreign diplomats under his own power while on the other side the four ogres picked up the conveyance and delivered it to the spear-marked point halfway between armies. A fairy stepped out who rescued appreciators of the wispy, ethereal style of fairy illustration from the despair caused by Queen Ydridd''s bountiful presence. The onlookers thenceforth took more seriously local lore about a sprite who leapt into a lake or river and dissolved, thereby lending the water there a peculiar color; academics could say what they wished about mineral deposits and algae. The skeptic might still argue that Queen Ava was unlikely to stain a rain puddle, as little of her as there was.


    ¡°You took my general.¡±


    Unsure on account of Ava''s emotionless delivery whether to interpret that as an accusation or a plain statement of fact, Atkosol decided to meet her on even ground. ¡°Yes,¡± he said.


    ¡°You did.¡± Ava tilted her head away as if watching for any magpies that might pick her up and drop her in a nest, doubtless a frequent occurrence for her. She refused to remove her shiny bracelets and necklace though, perhaps since without them she would float away. ¡°I haven''t found another. Why are you here?¡±


    The negotiation fared as smoothly as it started. Would she like to cede to Lommad her claim on Ertith Energy?


    ¡°No.¡±


    By no means must she surrender her title or her astonishing capitol which the humans admired greatly.


    ¡°No.¡±


    They respected the history and culture of fairies exceedingly and hoped to study them. The honor of any discoveries would go to her, in the appendix.


    ¡°No.¡±


    The opportunity had come to travel the wider world. She was no longer restricted to her country which, as lovely as it was, suffered the terrible constraints of underground seclusion. Busy streets, lonely valleys, cultivated fields, capricious oceans, and even the desolate Obeneutian wastes were available. Whatever matched her preference at any moment, there she might travel.


    ¡°I accept.¡±


    Anyone else would have blinked a few times, looked around for signs of a trap or at least a prank, and then expressed his pure disbelief in an appropriate manner such as falling down on the spot. After four straight refusals, a fifth was to be expected regardless of how favorable the terms seemed to the people who formulated them. Atkosol however accepted her capitulation with the grace he developed during his political career, replete as it was with unforeseeable reactions based on hidden interests. ¡°Excellent. We must arrange your trip quickly, and if there is any particular destination you have in mind already, I am eager to oblige you in that.¡±


    Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.


    ¡°I want to see a desert.¡± She waved her hand to encompass the entire waste district. ¡°I want to make a desert. I''ll never manage another estate as large as this one without the fuel, but the details are all wrong. I saved the wind for last. Isn''t it impressive? But it''s not a real desert.¡± With that plaintive wish which inspired sympathy in all the listeners save perhaps Medant Denmarof, Ava''s reign ended.


    The city district became the vacation spot of the day. Ava, before her departure, imparted to Lommad all the tricks, techniques, and mistakes she had conceived and committed over thousands of years of isolation. Unfortunately she had no comprehension of the Ertith Energy aside from how to make a barn out of it, but to blame her for the failure of modern research procedures to be developed in her time would have been a grotesque unfairness. Similarly ignorant of the underlying principles, Lommad decorated her domain with swift and sure decision. Why fall through the guest world and wander around hoping to be kidnapped by fairies when you could take yourself directly to the fantastical realm of Lommad Okliten which combined the best of every city she had visited and added to that the wonder of fairies, the satisfaction of scholarship, and the musk of manual labor?


    Several publications put forward reasons. The lover of beauty who praises the sight of a shepherd with his herd at dawn was advised to seek the authentic experience of being grabbed and drafted into an otherworldly servitude. That option was all the more attractive for the traveler on a tight budget, and encouragingly, reports were coming in that some people disappeared while nowhere near Cowsick Point. The impatient and the claustrophobe also had reasons to eschew the city district, since to gain entry, one descended a shaft to an underground reception chamber and there waited on the convenience of a fairy guide for escort to the district. The person who had the freedom to pick up and go roaming, the wealth to make something of it, and a low enough opinion of his time''s value to waste it in a chilly cave belonged to an exclusive set consisting of Atkosol Tellanstal and no one else.


    That was the stance adopted by editors attempting to grab the contrarian niche, but the standard opinion hewed closer to Baozir Nalna''s ebullient reviews of Lommad''s realm in Over the Plain. Similar articles excited interest in every sector, whether the archaeological, the fashionable, the engineering, or the financially speculative. Every sort of publication either sent a reporter or rehired Aptezor Ristaofen in a letter his acquaintances in camp judged insufficiently apologetic. He accepted his old position regardless in another demonstration that the inexperienced often fail at assessing their own value.


    The tourist population swelled after a delay for news to travel. A more distinguished set began to arrive once worthwhile spectacle was guaranteed rather than rumored. Binferad Honlen, the lead of the previous excavation, went on sabbatical from Oplironmakti University in order that she might wander around wearing an expression which said, ¡°Had there but been more money,¡± a sentiment understood by everyone except Mr. and Mrs. Atkosol. Another professor of a far different cast came a little later. Shchavlipt Mubbler belonged to one of the king''s universities in Chtrebliseu. ¡°Which is to say he''s a spy,¡± veteran reporter Kodol asserted, only raising the man''s profile thereby. Nobody worried about the theft of fairy secrets, Atkosol least of all, and therefore the intrigue was enjoyed without guilt. Aside from academic types, people of more general celebrity showed, foremost among them the eminent goslikenar singers Hinparant Denta and Dottinir Klirinstof.


    ¡°I won''t surprise anyone by declaring I have no idea who those are,¡± Takki announced to general surprise until Dirant reminded the listeners she was a genuine citizen of Pavvu Omme Os and not merely a head scarf enthusiast of Mabonn extraction.


    ¡°Ah, indeed. They are eminent goslikenar singers,¡± Aptezor explained. ¡°Their careers soared at the same time, and both gained a reputation for daring in their personal lives which enhanced their appeal to a certain crowed. There was even a rumor of a scandalous entanglement between the two until it was learned they had in fact associated since their earliest days and married before they ever left their hometown. You may ask Mr. Kodol for more details.¡±


    ¡°Why is that? Are you a fan, Mr. Kodol?¡± Takki asked.


    ¡°He discovered it.¡±


    ¡°I did. They were mad at me for revealing it. That''s normal, but a whole new audience embraced them, so there shouldn''t be any resentment.¡± There was not, but neither did they welcome his company.


    As the social scene about Lommad improved, so did the private security force established to advance her interests as determined by her husband. Enrollment swelled for several reasons. Some who had refrained from volunteering because fairy omnipotence terrified them saw the expedition return without casualties and reconsidered the impressions frightening childhood stories had implanted. Others accepted discounts at participating establishments within Lommad City, a name just as subject to revision as Ertith Energy, in exchange for military service of a duration assured to be temporary. Mercenaries eager to add fairy-related abilities to their r¨¦sum¨¦s continued to arrive at Iflarent''s Hideout as well.

 36. Four Hearts And Two Lions

    Guard-Captain Medant Denmarof had a plan for his augmented legion. With his mercenaries, his trained workers, and some of his officers (the Battlers, Ritualists, and Symbol Knights more than whatever Odibink Sharazilk was), though unaccompanied by his employer and the person named on his banners, he marched from Lommad City across the border zone to the cliffs above Jiojjil''s beach. In order to give Paosolt Tobalilk an excuse to leave the great hall and also because it sounded fun he set up two catapults and started tossing.


    He settled on two out of a sound motive consistent with strategy''s firmest principles. ¡°The crew which draws the better picture in the sand will receive a prize. I encourage creativity but not license. Hit the hall itself and you will be fortunate if I do not throw you in the ocean.¡±


    Regrettably, Jiojjil''s troops hustled out of the hall before any of the observers was able to guess what the teams were trying to make. The left crew had created a curve that might have grown into a crescent moon or a bow while the right''s sharp corner promised an infinite variety of items from a cross to a treasure box to a demonstration of how an artist may create a rectangle which gives the illusion of depth even on a single plane.


    Even though the enemy had no chance to reach the heights and contest the bombardment before the catapults smashed the hall, Medant ordered a withdrawal. What followed was a farce in which he repeatedly feigned retreats and Deputy Mayor General Paosolt pretended to pursue him while Jiojjil stayed behind with a small detachment at the latter''s recommendation. His squad''s purpose was to set up ramps which offered access to the cliffs, thereby ensuring a swifter response to similar threats in the future. The scouts kept Medant advised as to the progress of that, as well as the attitude of Paosolt''s human soldiers. Their delight at the novelty of their vacation had subsided and left them wondering when they could go home. Confronting an army which, diminutive as it was, was serious enough to employ siege engines did not rejuvenate them the way it did Dvanjchtliv heroes in the epics.


    The two forces waltzed their way generally toward the sky district, though Medant adhered to the borderland like a sycophant to his patron. His scouts there had an order added to their usual duties. ¡°Tell any fairy you encounter, as if passing the time, what a tactical coup it would be if a third force fell upon ours while engaged with Jiojjil''s.¡±


    The typical person did not expect scouts to discuss such a topic any more than the typical commander seized on their ruminations to inform his decisions, but after a few hours of dragging his troops in stops and starts, Medant received confirmation Zatdil had crossed the border, this time with a force behind him. By doing so the mighty king abandoned a tactical advantage he never realized he possessed, a sad commonplace in the history of warfare.


    All throughout the performance Medant and Paosolt traded messages which the fairies presumed to be boasts. Through them the generals coordinated their maneuvers so that soon three armies sat apart from one another by less than the range of the bows the Adaban soldiers carried but were forbidden from using.


    ¡°Every child is educated in the use of the self bow. Proficiency is another matter of course,¡± Dirant told Takki when she questioned their armaments.


    ¡°Oh, I knew all about that, Ressi. We make fun of your bows constantly. Once a ruler of one of the old kingdoms hired Adaban archers and lavished real bows on them, and he conquered three neighboring kingdoms and almost unified the north before he succumbed to disease. The next king gave in to public sentiment and expelled the Adabans. What do you think happened next?¡±


    ¡°Several options appear to me equally likely. The kingdom fell to invaders when deprived of its mightiest warriors. The mercenaries took over the kingdom themselves. A golden age followed, and the memory of it spurs anti-Adaban sentiment to this day. My guess however is that the new king, the mercenaries, and most of the public perished from that same disease.¡±


    Takki curtsied, overcome by admiration. ¡°I''m really impressed you got it. That plague infuriates historians because they want to know what would have transpired otherwise, but it''s impossible.¡±


    ¡°Is that not an opportunity to write a speculative, ah, the captain calls us.¡±


    The time for action had come, for cruel valor and heroic tragedy. Paosolt ordered a charge (by his fairies only) against Zatdil, and the sight awed all onlookers. When the front ranks met, those ranks existing in a purely poetic sense much like how the world did not in fact become rectangular at night, unaffiliated fairies watched transfixed. Some of them started up cheers. Jiojjil''s human braves meanwhile felt disgust over the butchery and the failure to form non-poetic ranks. As for Lommad''s humans, they were unavailable to contribute a reaction to the record.


    The column was hustling across the borderland, still in good order for all that keeping it required slowing down to Ritualist speed, straight to the cliffs overlooking Jiojjil''s hall. Hours of intricate maneuvers were undone in under twenty minutes of energetic marching, and if anyone lamented it all as a waste, Medant could point to the ramps Jiojjil had provided, supported by piled earth and wide enough to get the entire army down in half a minute.


    At the bottom, the captain paused to deliver an inspirational speech. ¡°The enemy''s strength is unsure, but our bonuses are assured! Attack!¡± That was the longest speech he was willing to risk. How much fight Jiojjil had in him was a matter of sheer conjecture since what earned the title of ¡°strongest¡± among the underground fairies had not been tested. Granting he belonged to a different type from the usual fairy, startling and removing from battle the cohort which had remained behind with him seemed both easy to accomplish and possibly essential.


    Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.


    The vanguard broke down the door, which was not locked but might get in the way if allowed to swing back and forth like someone mulling over where to go for lunch, and surprised the fairies at their tables. They failed to reach the weapons decorating the walls and corners before the attackers reached them, or rather they neglected to try. Capturing all of them could not have been accomplished easier if they had requested the service themselves.


    Jiojjil, however, was one of the strongest, and he had been examining a spear with a blade broader than his hand when the offensive breached his hall. Even then, his first response did not exude martial spirit. ¡°My door!¡± he yelled before he realized the opportunity an enemy was giving him to engage in heroic battle of the sort which gave the historical Jiojjil his great fame.


    By the time he opened his mouth to declaim in the proper style, his chance for that had passed. Medant had already issued his command. ¡°Ointment!¡± The man on the street, if ordered to ointment, might wonder not only what sort of person took such an attitude toward a stranger but also what the process involved, perplexed by the lack of a verb. If informed the command was intended not for him but for a subordinate of the issuer, he would certainly theorize it to be a code of some sort and therefore be relieved of his indignation. That was in the street of an Adaban city. In Yean Defiafi, the typical subject might think it an invitation to a whimsically themed party.


    The theoretical Adaban had the better understanding of the situation. ¡°Ointment¡± called for the Ritualist who had prepared and delayed the Fairy Fascination Ritual to trigger it, whereas ¡°architrave¡± indicated the Fairy Dance Ritual. What revelations about Medant''s personality might be gained from his choice of words none there had the insight to infer. Perhaps the most salient point was how quickly he came up with them, such an analyst would have said.


    It was not the place of the lieutenant to analyze his commander, unless he was after advancement either by satisfying said commander or arranging his downfall, and accordingly Dirant simply obeyed the order. The attackers soon considered the possibility they had committed an error, for when the ritual took effect, the entire world lost its color save for a streak of red like a frayed rope which ran above them straight through the hall as if Jiojjil had oriented his heroic dwelling along it, which he probably had. The uncanny circumstance threatened to overwhelm their morale and drive them away screaming for all that they had their own banner.


    Jiojjil recovered the situation. The fairy king collected himself before anyone had made the decision to abandon sanity entirely based on the reasoning that civic duties, familial responsibilities, and a compulsion to exalt oneself over others were all fine things, but there were disadvantages too, such as the need to keep up with inexplicably popular serials. He jerked as if from a spasm and then the color returned, as did the danger of facing him.


    The first stroke of his spear exhibited no skill whatsoever, but it shoved a Brawny Knight back a few feet when the ordinary man who managed to shove one a few inches during a fair with a willing participant putting on a show for the locals was thought to have performed a miracle. Following protocols established earlier for the eventuality Jiojjil was strong after all, the soldiers began withdrawing while employing their bows, which might have done more against a foe who did not distort the air around him and cause arrows to fall, their velocity spent.


    Each soldier was too occupied in executing his assigned role to become anxious, which left the Ritualists to do it for them. Above them, the captain remained unconcerned, at least visibly. He had resources left, among them the other ritual and also, well, a commander rarely reveals all his methods.


    One of those resources committed itself, or rather three of them. As one wit of the Symbol Knight class wrote, he would trouble himself about the welfare of his guests the same hour they did. Mr. Gabdirn''s Gale Lion and Flame Lion moved against Jiojjil without care for their enemy''s supernatural techniques, the emotion of fear which humans felt, and anything like ¡°captains¡± and ¡°orders.¡± Gabdirn remained aware of all three of those things, but he considered the first two of small account so long as he entertained his guests, and as for the third, Medant had made it explicit beforehand that he left to the Symbol Knight''s judgment whether the lion guests could actually fight in an arena of that size.


    As large as the hall was, as halls went, that broad expanse of elite combatants did come close to filling it. Still, confidence radiated from them, and Medant ordered the bows to cease. He further dispatched the siege crews to check if the catapults could be restored to working condition in time to conduct an experiment regarding the interaction of rocks and fairy heads. The rest of the troops and officers were to withdraw to the beach in the time provided by the distraction, as Medant thought of the guests.


    He had miscalculated. The extravagant spear and the inhuman might which wielded it came against a spear of flame and merely matched it, giving way when wind joined the fray. Gabdirn''s symbolic weapon when added to the other two forced Jiojjil to back away. By no means did he surrender upon that one setback, however. He had built the hall''s ceiling to a height chosen not arbitrarily but rather to accommodate his acrobatic leap.


    The masters of dueling recommended jumping as an act appropriate for fairs, over the head of a Brawny Knight if that could be managed, and not a maneuver to be contemplated in practical combat. The opponent was unlikely, regardless of the height or distance achieved, to be so impressed by the spectacle that he would neglect to prepare a suitable reception. The lions chose not to wait that long. A veritable conflagration sprayed from one weapon and rose on wildly whipping winds to engulfe the roof, but Jiojjil descended only slightly scathed.


    The walls maintained their integrity for a short time, though the gouts of flame which pierced them discouraged visitors. Such a confusion of elements and spears took hold that not until the battle ended was anyone able to guess at the occurrences therein, perhaps not even the participants. The hall might have been constructed from mankind''s longing for peace based on how little of it survived the battle, and the soldiers could have held a concert without a note of it being heard over the cacophony of wind and Jiojjil''s terrible cries. Not a long concert though, for a struggle as ferocious as that reached a conclusion before long.


    Doubtless the fairy king never expected to end his reign at the feet of an author specialized in digestible Ertith scholarship, but the invaders who burst into song when the outcome became clear were less surprised. Hewekers and Symbol Knights were two categories of men capable of anything in their view.

 37. Fishing In Strange Oceans And Catching Stranger

    The submission process concluded quickly owing to the enthusiastic cooperation of Jiojjil, who declared himself so satisfied with what amounted to single combat given the involvement of a Symbol Knight that he conceded all pretensions to becoming Hacanthu on the spot. ¡°I am minded instead to assume the name of Gabdirn Haubentlag, who is revealed as a hero with whom Jiojjil could have exchanged boasts and not for sure have come out the greater.¡±


    It was a fortuitous attitude for him to take from the perspective of the victors, since even as they were finishing up there, the fastest among the humans who half a day before had enjoyed his hospitality with varying amounts of acceptance were reported to be passing by in a rout-like fashion, though the scouts phrased it differently.


    ¡°They''re routing, sir.¡± That was the first report, and the second was that Zatdil, while triumphant, had lost close to the entirety of his forces in the nearly even trade which characterized skirmishes between fairies.


    ¡°Does he pursue, or has he stopped to replenish his forces?¡± Medant wanted to know.


    The battlefield reduced the most wondrous phenomena such as routine resurrection to a mere matter of troop numbers. Regardless, the decision must be taken. Either course could be justified in the moment just as it would unquestionably be criticized by military historians later. Zatdil, unsurprisingly, did neither, or rather both, which had the same result. He started to run down the fleeing humans, turned back to drag his fairies to whatever accommodation the sky district had for revival, and then regretted allowing his enemy to escape him and changed his mind again according to the reports which came in faster and faster as Medant approached. Even when he saw a second force greater in number than what he had recently overcome, Zatdil hesitated long enough for the Ritualists to come within the range required to architrave, or to complete the Fairy Dance Ritual as they insisted on calling the operation.


    Experiments conducted with the vigorous assistance of fairies had produced enough material to fill up a quarterly periodical focused on the history of dance for years, if such a thing existed, and the Ritualists had picked a favorite. Observers liked it too. The Lunar Step required the performer to describe the phases of the moon with his feet. The resulting spectacle raised several questions about the communicability of symbols, because to anyone unaware of the significance of the motions, the dancer appeared to be shuffling in a circle, perhaps searching for a button which came off his coat. To those aware, it still looked like that.


    Aside from its virtues as a piece of entertainment, which, while considerable early on, faded with each performance, the Lunar Step confined the affected fairies to a small area and on that basis recommended itself to anyone so far lacking in delicate feeling as to desecrate the fine arts by abusing them for martial purposes. Zatdil gave in to the impulse as readily as a university student accepting a challenge from his peers despite the obvious hostile intent of the Adabans, Survyais, and one matchless Heweker coming against him unimpeded by the disturbing side effects of the clearly outmatched Fairy Fascination Ritual. The manuals on anti-fairy warfare sure to propagate with the rediscovery of that exceptional people would ensure memory of old-timey dance never again faded as the incautious cultural transmitters of the past had allowed it to do.


    Arrows repeated their poor performance against Zatdil, forcing many to wonder if those stories of peasants helpless against fairies came about because of dependence on the wrong weapon. Had those inhabitants of earlier times thought to use double-bladed magical spears, the entire relationship between man and fairykind might have been altered. So insouciantly did Zatdil swat those shafts away that his dance attained a subtlety and elegance never displayed by inferior fairies during testing. The troops remaining to him on the other hand fell stricken and soon were enmeshed in the nets supplied to the army for the purpose of securing reluctant vacationers. Medant knew no reason not to use them on fairies, who remained easy to capture until they thought harder about their situation.


    ¡°And the same will serve for Zatdil,¡± he declared before ordering the largest, heaviest, and downright grandest net in the army stock to be brought up. He deigned to participate personally in its deployment, for although the better practice was to preserve the distinction between the feathers and the thinboots as he confessed in a later interview (despite not wearing any feathers then or upon the occasion itself), numbers have their own logic to them and he was short-handed.


    Zatdil laughed at their efforts even ss the net fell over his head. ¡°A thousand nets and ten thousand ropes, and fetters of iron too, are not enough to hinder me. Observe my deft steps learned over thousands of years and compare it with what you can manage with your thirty years at most!¡±


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    Unless estimates of pre-modern lifespans overestimated by an incredible amount, the great fairy must have neglected his human studies. That made another field, since familiarity with the works of the great generals and military theorists would have aided him in realizing the enemy had ambitions beyond interfering with his performance.


    The soldiers drew the net tighter, bringing the weights closer to their victim''s feet, and the fact that Zatdil continued his exhibition of antique moves regardless wholly justified his misdirected bragging. Fairies both free and trapped began to clap along, and the hardest discipline alone prevented Medant''s troops from doing the same. Some of the Defiafis did join in, as might have been expected.


    The spontaneous show of appreciation in no way prevented Medant from closing up the net, drawing his sword, and presenting it to Zatdil tip first. ¡°You must surrender, sir.¡± The drama of the circumstances spurred that honest young man to say something which he did not know for sure to be true.


    Zatdil himself likely had doubts. Certainly he stared at his captor''s sword in the manner of a music tutor who for the first time has encountered what he previously regarded as a myth fabricated by incapable instructors, a tone-deaf student. The first thing he thought to say puzzled the immediate audience and, when reported, sent historians scrambling for any reference to the events mentioned. ¡°An Omega Master lost to Hacanthu, but I never heard of an Omega Despoiler like Zatdil Akavinnux Scaurrdex Ikakach losing to a human. I wonder what happened to them all.¡± He pondered while Medant stood amazed. ¡°Very well. You are no Hacanthu, but neither am I a verang. Take these spoils to display in your triumph.¡±


    So saying, he squeezed out of his fake armor without leaving the net, another feat of dexterity difficult even for the highest-Coordination Acrobats, and kicked it as far out as he could. In one day Medant Denmarof under the banner of Lommad Okliten with the backing of Atkosol Tellanstal, three names likely to endure forever in an obscure reference text, overcame two fairy kings. The accomplishment, notable and meritorious in itself, also ensured the swift end to sudden disappearances from the human world outside of researchers interested in the guest world, the details of fairies in their fabricated environment, and the opportunity to study Ertith Energy in a regular manner conducive to proper experimentation.


    ¡°What a regrettable circumstance it is that the war drags on,¡± Medant commented in the dining hall. While the need to consider carefully what information about the local condition was wise to transmit had passed, and along with it the advantages of communal letter writing, the impulse had turned into a habit. Whether the rest of the GE would embrace the practice could not be foreseen.


    After reading messages from home begging him to leave that awful place for the sake of his parents'' peace of mind if for no other reason and encouragements from mercenary pals to keep the war record coming, Medant had paused to reflect. Dirant, whose familial correspondence ran more toward requests that he comment on a plan to rent out Stadeskosken Ritualists for anti-fairy operations, also reflected. Not on the rental scheme for which his own actions provided the model, but on the ever-shifting circumstances brought about by war.


    When Jiojjil and Zatdil succumbed, the remaining fairies lost some of the complacency of centuries. The fortification of Ishtu''s mountain feared by Medant had been accomplished. On Ydridd''s side, Doltandon Yurvitas embarked on a program of recruiting voluntary collaborators who responded better to a Subjugator''s imposition of discipline than either fairies or kidnapped humans. As for those, Taomenk''s maps and the tunnels rapidly expanded by tireless fairy labor facilitated transportation which was not used exclusively for good ends; abductions or perhaps willing departures of humans, it was difficult to tell which, had been seen within the limits of Ividottlof itself.


    The culprits so far as that could be ascertained belonged to small realms which had emerged during the weeks since Medant''s triumph. Petty fairy chiefs who decided their ideas of which people deserved inclusion in the ranks of the strongest had been too fixed for too long were attracting followers, forming miniature domains on the outer borders and in the gaps left unclaimed subsequent to the dissolution of the beach, sky, and desert districts, and engaging in mischief. Lommad expanded her city district at a respectable pace, but dozens of rebellious islands formed nevertheless.


    Then there were the problems not directly related to fairies. Deputy Mayor Paosolt Tobalilk''s first responsibility after he returned to town and resumed his office (to the pleasure of the citizenry, which was fond of him) consisted of putting up a fence around Cowsick Point. His picked crew settled on a respectable distance from the marker, figured how much material was necessary, and got to work, whereupon several of the members vanished until a friendly fairy helped them return.


    The expansion of the area of concern troubled everyone who had cause to consider it. Atkosol wrote to various Symbol Knights involved with their class''s theoretical side. The few responses received thus far stated that the identification of the curious midway point between the human and fairy worlds as the guest world was probably correct and that they had not the slightest desire to investigate personally. Far from that, they thanked Mr. Atkosol for helping make their minds up to take their vacations right then, and in the opposite direction from Ividottlof.

 38. The Authority Is Easiest Recognized By The Pile Of Invitations On His Desk

    The Quality Of His Mind, By Which He Accepts


    That part meant nothing to Guard-Captain Medant Denmarof. The Lommad campaign alone did, and therefore the ways in which the state government of Enpasatosalkir insisted on hobbling it. That august body had decided not to waste its resources trying to prevent Mr. Atkosol from fielding a private army or using it against fairies who had not paid taxes in centuries, not to mention never voted. It did however warn that it would consider all of its citizens and out-of-state visitors to be entitled to the usual legal protections against being killed by rich people, which were far more stringent than satirical publications pretended. The injunction applied even to volunteers in a foreign army. Medant was therefore free to execute any battle plan he liked only so long as he harmed no humans in the sight of witnesses.


    Of course, the state did not declare a few guidelines and let the matter lie for all that several members of its Entet suggested that very course. People across the confederation and in some cases beyond it worried for their idiotic acquaintances who had rushed to the fairy zone, and some of them had the means to pay rewards for a safe moron extraction. The state Entet assigned Deputy Mayor Paosolt as his second responsibility the task of connecting sponsors to rescuers.


    Most of the mercenaries in the area endeavored over the intervening weeks to relieve the disquiet of those people who suffered from excess anxiety and money, all with Mr. Atkosol''s permission given only after he had consulted his general.


    ¡°My sole condition is that they muster when I call for them. Anyone who breaches such an oath is not wanted in any case.¡± Medant did not begrudge those who accepted the condition their extra payouts, a good thing since he would have exhausted his grudge stores immediately. He himself did not participate. The idea of pursuing jobs while under contract reminded him of the sorts of condottieri employers were warned not to hire.


    ¡°I''ve never disagreed with someone so much. Even when people throw things at me and so, I''ve been able to see their side of it,¡± Kodol ¡°Pots¡± Hinpabafnoren, just entering the cafeteria, said in response to something Medant stated which Dirant had already forgotten amid all his reflecting. ¡°This war has gone on almost exactly long enough. The local broadsheets have nearly run through every point of interest, the foreigners are picking it up, and everyone''s ready for a big event that will upend the situation like a lonely giant.¡± He threw one of the aforementioned foreign broadsheets on the table.


    ¡°Is that a saying?¡± Takki whispered to Dirant.


    ¡°About the lonely giant? If so, I am unaware of it.¡±


    ¡°Ah, this is from Yean Defiafi,¡± said Aptezor Ristaofen from a neighboring table. ¡°May I read this? I have been trying to improve my Desurvyai (Basic) and my understanding of the Yean publishing world together. It is important for any reporter to understand the continental scene.¡±


    ¡°That''s the first thing you''ve ever been right about in your life. Don''t get weak about it though. You have plenty more life. Here, check this article.¡± Kodol tapped his finger for the benefit of his junior.


    ¡°There''s an interview here. It''s with the eminent and charming widow Desozmingen Jeon. Ah! She is the aunt of Doltandon Yurvitas.¡± The halting progress Aptezor made through the piece lent it the air of an archaeological excavation, and the listeners leaned closer in order to claim later they were present when the famous potsherds were discovered. ¡°The interviewer asks her opinion on the rumors. She says, more or less, that she believes them, because rising to become the most trusted general of a fairy queen despite having no previous experience as a military officer is just what anyone should expect from a Doltandon. She then says she has complete confidence he will do great things for the queen, that she looks forward to settling her fortune on him, and this last part . . . I think she''s trying to hint that anyone who hasn''t spent time in a fay court isn''t worth much.¡±


    ¡°When the moral comedy based on this incident is composed, certain details ought to be changed for genre suitability,¡± Dirant said.


    ¡°If you rolled up this broadsheet around a stick and beat him with it, would it still be a moral comedy, or would that be too funny?¡± asked Takki.


    ¡°That wouldn''t be funny,¡± Aptezor insisted. ¡°It''s how it should be.¡±


    ¡°So it''s perfect for a moral comedy after all? Huh.¡± Takki tapped her pen on the table. ¡°I hoped to relate to my father some of the revisions to northern and north-central history being proposed because of the incessant revelations here, but I don''t think there have been any.¡±


    Indeed there had not. Hwohyesu confessed to the same frustration in his letters. He was on the verge of giving up the business altogether, he said, and in response Atkosol suggested a short hiatus from fairy interviews. Other avenues of study were available, and he hoped Mr. Hwohyesu might have something new to say about an increasingly salient one on account of his extensive knowledge, his incisive intellect capable of dividing the essential from the inessential, and not being a Symbol Knight.


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    A tour was arranged immediately upon Hwohyesu''s acceptance. If Ishtu learned of it, he might have grunted and gone back to carving a duck call out of wood, but on the other hand, he might have taken exception. For that reason Guard-Captain Medant arranged a confidential escort which included no person of unproved discretion. He was unsure he belonged on the right side of that category, but orders were orders. He picked out a few mercenaries on bad terms with the reporters (mostly over petty loans), Dirant, Takki, Taomenk Genarostaf who evinced interest in the subject, a certain Erjjub who was the most reliable ferry fairy aside from Lommad (whose movements attracted scrutiny), and finally the sole available expert, Symbol Knight Gabdirn Haubentlag.


    For Hwohyesu to sneak away required no great subterfuge. He simply said he was going somewhere and walked to the border where Erjjub met him. Soon the expedition assembled and moved toward Cowsick Point in the early evening when half of the workers, whether in the camp, Lommad City, or Ividottlof, were at home while members of the other half were already struggling to remember where their homes were.


    ¡°You saw the Point before, Mr. Hwohyesu.¡± Neither the phrasing nor the intonation expressed a question on Gabdirn''s part, but Hewekers expected people to respond boldly whatever the prompt.


    ¡°I did.¡± The commonalities between Zeuhyas and Hewekers, never before suspected, revealed themselves. ¡°It befell that I didn''t go through anything I''ve been told about it. I was surprised.¡±


    ¡°How fared it for you?¡±


    ¡°I touched the marker. I hope that''s allowed? I touched the marker, felt I was falling, and events put me in the borderlands.¡±


    ¡°You will have a surprise then. That''s for the rest of you too.¡±


    As grateful as the other escorts were for the warning afterward, they thought he perhaps might have put more weight on it. They hopped over the deputy mayor''s lovely fence and relocated forthwith to the guest world, which bore more signs than ever of being so, namely all the guests.


    The uncanny terrain had taken on more verticality since Dirant''s prior visit in the form of both hills and a more reasonable altitude for the clouds, and the guests had no patience for it. Dirant noticed the Armor Giants smashing the ground apart with their terrible axes first because he recognized them, but they contributed but a small part to the activity. Guests of every description, or rather hosts there, ran, flew, glided, and squirmed around while deploying whatever weapons or natural destructive abilities they possessed, making the guest world tremble with such force that the tour members looked for a stout tree or conveniently shaped rock to grab. Unfortunately, those had all been demolished prior to their arrival.


    There was the Breakblock, a wagon with a giant spike attached to its front that crashed into the ground repeatedly. Blade Moths flew by, ejecting the metal slivers which constituted their wings to shred the land below, while Diamond Boars charged and tore the terrain with their adamant tusks; no one had yet devised a method to extract those despite the unquestionable value of such a durable material. About the Grief Eater it was better to say nothing. Past them all, appearing in the strange emptiness formerly seen beneath the ground but now surrounding it on every side was the colossal Threshold Dragon, a guest every true Symbol Knight yearned to invite if only as evidence of having a huge number of Guest Points. Dirant guessed all those based on a book about guests he read.


    Unfortunately, he fell through the devastated earth before he could consult Mr. Gabdirn on the specifics. Either unfortunately or fortunately, but without question disturbingly, from his lower and quickly lowering vantage point he perceived that the guests, as zealous and capable as they were, were removing terrain slower than it reappeared. Just by a tiny bit, but households which permit their spending to run ahead of their income to a similar degree end in ruin. A professional faller would have noticed more, but Dirant was content to remain an amateur.


    Hwohyesu and his escorts landed in what had become the city district. The reasons for concluding that were, first, precedent, and second, the number of bathhouses. The economics of no authentic city could support their unprecedented density, to say nothing of the architectural variety. Evidently Lommad was a collector of layouts from every region and century.


    The experience rattled Mr. Hwohyesu. It had the same effect on the others, but they mattered less. ¡°What an unforeseeable difference! What''s responsible?¡±


    ¡°I can do a guess,¡± Mr. Gabdirn said. He paused and surveyed the surroundings to ensure no Odibinks were hustling over to argue with him. Since none were, he resumed. ¡°Ertith Energy helps fairies in their world construction. I take that to be a premise we have accepted for the moment. Can they do their construction in the guest world? My suspicion is that they are so able, and are, and the guests are in an outrage about it.¡±


    ¡°I wouldn''t be at all out of sorts if you were right, Mr. Gabdirn, because of your intelligence and learning. That''s worrisome. It may even be that they aren''t doing it on purpose, but that this is a side-effect of their activities. That may be more worrisome. I may have to stop supporting Ishtu. Let me be undone if I act dishonorably, but it may fall out that I depart.¡±


    Hwohyesu and Gabdirn discussed the matter with a seriousness which supported the decisions of those Symbol Knights even then heading for ocean ports, yet their dispassionate speculation suggested such actions might safely be deferred until a later period. Reassured in that regard, Medant ushered the group back to the real world with the aid of Erjjub, who had expressed a desire to become a professional fairy tour guide, and then to the terrible hills some distance from Cowsick Point. He reasoned that the chance of coming across inadvertent witnesses decreased proportionally with distance to the nearest paved road.


    There the experts worked out exactly what insights they had to enrich Mr. Atkosol, of which there were few, and their advice based on them, which was to hurry up. ¡°That is worthless to say since he has done all in his vast capacity, and so far men like me have been an obstacle,¡± Mr. Hwohyesu admitted. On that basis he committed himself to persuading as many of the humans and even fairies in Ishtu''s kingdom as he could to give up the fight in order to expedite a resolution. By then, the sun was approaching the horizon with the determined step of the man of business on his way to beg his uncle for a loan.


    After ensuring and subsequently re-ensuring the two scholars had concluded their scholarship, Guard-Captain Medant declared an end to the outing. Erjjub returned Hwohyesu to the mountain while the escorts split up to go whithersoever they would in the inconspicuous fashion of people with nothing to say to reporters.

 39. One Must Consider Currents

    Beginning There, We Comprehend Six Boats Within Sight Of One Another May Navigate Effectively Four Separate Rivers


    ¡°It is a lonelier feeling than I expected to part at this hour with no particular destination,¡± Medant remarked after a few minutes of that process to the people who had not yet left.


    Dirant had felt something of the sort on his first day in Todelk, but never since. Perhaps the military life was different. Regardless, he assayed some consoling words. ¡°Here is a divination, and based on personalities rather than birds and organs as it is, you may find it accurate. You will repair to Ividottlof, run across some discontented fellows who are too responsible for mid-week carousing but too lax to spend the rest of the day oiling hinges, and cajole them into some sport or other. Later you will inform me of the result provided the authorities do post an announcement about the aftermath.¡±


    ¡°Ah, you have encountered mercenaries before. But surely they were not under contract at the time.¡±


    ¡°They had just completed it.¡±


    ¡°There it is. And now I will likely fulfill the more reputable parts of your prediction.¡± Medant waved and walked off.


    ¡°Is Mr. Medant sportingly inclined, Ressi? I couldn''t decide if I thought he was the type or not. He''s athletic enough, but there''s something incongruous about his attitude. That isn''t a criticism.¡± Takki had also lingered, allowing the others to pick their routes first.


    ¡°In a way he is, in that he is ready for any competition so long as it is the next one. That is how I remember him. He plays trophy heist as heartily as anyone for two periods, and in the intermission he asks whether anyone has the latest emmalkstafa problems, forgetting the match is undecided. He devotes himself to no activity in particular and belongs to the type which visits an Ertith ruin merely because he has not before done so.¡±


    ¡°And makes his family worry.¡±


    ¡°They are prone to it.¡±


    ¡°Oh, then that''s all right.¡± Takki looked to the side but continued speaking. ¡°I don''t think this is a commendable trait, but I tend to dismiss people after their primary problem is solved as if they stop existing, and because of that it irritates me when they have other problems. Thank you for reminding me Mr. Medant and his family are more like the house under the glacier. What''s emmalkstafa?¡±


    ¡°Thank you for telling me so. It is a puzzle wherein the player fills up a given space with figurines.¡±


    ¡°Teach me later. Ressi, are you sure you''ll be all right alone? I suppose fairies aren''t very threatening to you.¡±


    ¡°Yes, and disappointment in my ancestors over the matter is difficult to resist. Perhaps the proportion of Jiojjils to Erjjubs was skewed for the worse then. Have bandits returned here amid all this disruption of order?¡±


    ¡°Not yet, so far as I''ve heard.¡±


    ¡°That leaves me insufficient excuse to violate Medant''s orders. Thank you for your concern even so.¡±


    Takki was the last to achieve a separation between elements of the secret expedition, though an impartial judge might have given the credit to Dirant for his accomplished dawdling. Not only did he walk slower than Takki, something out of his control, but also he took a less direct route back to camp which led him away from the hills before he reentered them. While inferior physical condition explained the former, the latter could be ascribed to his above-average Discernment which informed him there was no reason to go tripping across rocky slopes that close to night.


    His stroll had such tranquility about it that he almost forgot to ponder whether he ought to be panicking to the extent of attempting flight. He was against the idea on account of his temperament, but often the best dish smelled the worst, or so culinary enthusiasts claimed. He had just begun to address the deficiency when he heard a voice and out of idle curiosity headed toward it. He would not have been surprised to learn if people that close to the Point were engaged in conversation on the very topic which interested him then, and presumably evacuation plans benefited as much from communal discussion as did letters home.


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    After less than a minute of that, he surrendered the idea. The voice was Wiuyo''s. Disappointing as that was, he continued to approach, still curious and no less confident with regard to his safety. He trusted Wiuyo to an extent, perhaps three-quarters of the way to Ividottlof, and he had ready a dance ritual which far surpassed in effectiveness anything he ever did to a human. ¡°And again I remind myself to ask Medant if he knows a ritual more conducive to defensive endeavors. It is surpassingly unlikely that he does, whereas the Ritualists I have consulted in person or in print certainly do not. They always suggest the Lightning Ritual. I am certain they have never tried it themselves.¡±


    The voice ceased. Reasoning that Wiuyo had been carrying on a private conversation now ended, Dirant redirected his steps only to hear her again, this time calling out, ¡°Here, here, look here,¡± after the insistent fashion of a stall owner a quarter of an hour before the town regulations demand closure of the market. They did that because it worked, and Dirant changed his course again.


    He saw a glance of a figure he presumed to be Wiuyo pointing down before dashing across the not entirely level landscape away from him in the manner of the owner of an unlicensed stall when the authorities come by to ask a few questions. If dealing with either Grenlofers or fairies as depicted in the stories, he would have suspected a trap at that point, but an Ividottlof fairy who prepared a pit would surely stand next to it trying not to laugh.


    Upon reaching the vicinity of the ¡°here¡± earlier specified, Dirant saw no signs of ambush, no goods available at a special price for the lucky gentleman who came at just the right time, and an envelope stuck in a cracked stump, the remnant of the sole tree in the area worth chopping down. Unsure how to respond to such an unorthodox method of mail delivery, he examined the envelope for an address as thoroughly as he was able without touching it. He discovered none and consequently presumed one of three things to be true: It had been left there for him to find, for anyone to find, or from such carelessness as would be discourteous to impute to a lady. The person who raised the issue of whether fairies ought to be included in that category committed an even more heinous indiscretion.


    He plucked the envelope and began to open it, normally a deed performed without any especial deliberation but in this instance delayed when Dirant smelled something odd. After some sniffing, he determined perfume had been applied to the envelope, whereupon he held it up for reexamination, puzzled.


    ¡°That is no proper behavior, Mr. Dirant.¡±


    Every single organ in Dirant''s body jumped straight up, flipped about, and settled back in place. A perfect performance, but sadly, only he noticed it, and more urgent concerns diverted even that exclusive audience from proper appreciation. One problem he apprehended right away was how tricky a matter it would be to reproach Takki for her sloppiness in keeping up with the local brigand situation, provided he had a chance to do that or anything else. He quickly rejected the premise after realizing he knew the names of no brigands barring a strange career choice on the part of a colleague at Todelk, an ignorance he supposed to be mutual. Once released from fear, Dirant was able to recognize the voice.


    Mr. Nalfenk Migolkir strolled up and hailed Dirant with a smile that made its message clear: ¡°We share knowledge to which not all are privy, do we not? What camaraderie there is between us on this basis.¡± Dirant had seen the sophisticated reporter look and behave in a genial fashion before, but for him to be downright chummy was a novelty.


    Nalfenk did not leave everything to his smile but instead spoke. ¡°You must, even when unobserved, treat a lady''s message with as much impatience or one may say fervor as you doubtless feel in her presence. Ah, Mr. Dirant, unanticipated perils have thrown me into confusion. While thinking of my responsibilities to the gentleman scholar, I neglected to assign to each of life''s elements its proper proportion. All those theories I concocted about what interested an overly inquisitive Ritualist, but I forgot to include the trait of ''young gentleman,'' a phrase which explains as much as it describes. Please accept my apology as well as my congratulations on your successes thus far.¡±


    Nalfenk bowed. Dirant returned the gesture as naturally as a tree bends in response to the more insistent type of wind. ¡°It is all nothing but my own fault in prompting suspicion,¡± he said while wondering if he ought to correct the misunderstanding. What made him hesitate was the possibility that said misunderstanding did not lie on Nalfenk''s side.


    He therefore complied and opened the envelope viciously to determine if the contents would clarify the situation, which they did not. They perplexed him all the more. It purported to be from GE, to DR, requesting a rendezvous for the purpose of discussing DY. The DR was apparent enough. So was GE, though he knew no one who spoke for Greater Enloffenkir as a whole or what the confederation wanted with him. Perhaps DY referred to a fee he had forgotten to pay.

 40. An Honorable Appointment Deserves Scrupulous Promptness

    In Dishonorable Circumstances, Promptness Is Often The Lone Commendable Trait


    Nalfenk saw his expression and adopted a coaxing tone. ¡°Come, Mr. Dirant. That doubtful hesitation is flagrantly unsuitable. You must meet the lady somewhat before your earliest convenience.¡±


    Dirant spun around to ensure there was not a second Nalfenk behind him in addition to the one on his left and afterwards scrutinized the surroundings for a system of mirrors capable of transmitting the contents of the letter through a series of reflections. Satisfied no such array existed, he asked what made him certain of the letter''s purpose.


    ¡°It is the custom. There is no alternative meaning to a perfumed envelope, package, sleeve, or similar placed delicately in a natural receptacle. I must beg that you not feel shame at your ignorance in this matter but rather rejoice at granting me the opportunity to repay my own mentor, for to perpetuate education is the debt we owe our forebears and our inheritors. What you must do is write out your reply, place it in the same envelope, and leave it in the same spot.¡±


    The conviction in Nalfenk''s demeanor and tone persuaded Dirant some people acted in that way sometimes, somewhere. If he entertained the idea to the extent of reconsidering the message with the presumption that a woman had indeed sent it rather than supposing Mr. Nalfenk to be engaged in fancy, he was able to pick choicer fruits from a smaller field. That is, he did know a woman whose name started with G (as to the E, he could not quite remember) interested in the affairs of a DY, who was a person rather than a category of taxation. Why exactly that person would desire to speak with him on that topic through methods liable to the interpretation Nalfenk put on them did not admit of a ready explanation, but perhaps she aimed at secrecy with no more discredit than Mr. Hwohyesu''s recent escort.


    ¡°Your kind instruction is my surest guide.¡± Dirant considered what reply he ought to make and then how he was to make it. ¡°The procedure then is that I return to camp, write a response, return here, and replace the envelope. That presents obstacles. I must mark the stump somehow.¡±


    He began searching for a stone of a remarkable color before Nalfenk stopped him. ¡°Not so, Mr. Dirant. Make satisfaction your occupation and you will never be far from what you require.¡± With those inspiring words, the reporter brought out a pen and paper unlike what Dirant had seen him use for note-taking. Mr. Nalfenk explained the thick, heavy paper''s exceptional virtues. ¡°Most important is that it can take a little water without being wholly ruined, and so you may, and usually should, pass water stains off as your tears occasioned by the distance between sender and recipient. At this stage in my career I reserve this variety of stationery for my wife, but the unmarried gentleman bears a different set of burdens and freedoms.¡±


    Dirant decided to agree to GE''s request, and if he did not wish to insult her (presumed) by thinking he did so only because nothing more important demanded his time, he also wanted to be honest. Normally a response waited on nothing but the decision, but this one, he learned, depended on Mr. Nalfenk''s assistance with the most minute points. The process taught Dirant niceties the existence of which he never suspected. For instance, writing that his sister''s family might drop by signaled his intention to loiter within view of the meeting place with his hat in his left hand if he suspected he had come under observation.


    ¡°Is this practice followed also by those of us without sisters?¡±


    His brother''s family might drop by, in which circumstance his right hand would hold the hat. Similar code phrases abounded, and Dirant doubted whether he should try to forget them or accept that at times in the future his eyebrows might rise upon reading something he otherwise would have believed innocent. Some referred to matters which he did not fully understand, and he did not consider himself diminished by that.


    The meeting place, of course, would be a boarding house which met the requirements. Those were that it advertised on an external sign that it rented rooms by the night, that the rooms came furnished, and that private entrances existed for the convenience of the lodgers. ¡°By that is meant staircases and backdoors which open on an alley unless they are obstructed by some other means. Clever gardening may be employed.¡± By those indications proprietors indicated their willingness to accept a particular sort of business. Mr. Nalfenk further supplied the locations of several such establishments he had noticed in Ividottlof.


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    Altogether Nalfenk took him through a course of study both helpful in the moment and promising glimpses of intrigue afterward without mention of tuition, for which reason Dirant easily resisted the impulses he naturally felt. For example, he refrained from commenting on what a conscientious husband Mr. Nalfenk was to be always looking out for places which might accommodate him and his wife should she join him later provided his assignment was extended by his superiors. Aside from the impertinence of the observation, Nalfenk may well have been doing exactly that. If not, anyone capable of introspection to the smallest degree understands the hold habit has upon every human, and seemingly every fairy as well. How often when performing rituals, or so much as passing by a flat area suitable for one, did the Ritualist imagine himself in a dialogue with an old professor, justifying his decisions to orient the design in that direction or to substitute this material?


    Dirant also wondered, as he wrote the reply in obedience to the clandestine principles Nalfenk unveiled, what the older man''s reaction would be to learning that he fully intended to bring another young lady to the encounter. Probably highly approving. With that done and the envelope replaced, the two gentlemen parted on terms of accord and wishes for mutual felicity.


    The assignation, as it amused Dirant to think of it, was arranged without hindrance for the very next evening. He had anticipated serious hindrances. The negotiations in his imagination required an exchange of notes which would necessitate he travel repeatedly to and from that stump. Further, for the practical portion of his education he had to travel to Ividottlof and scout a location himself, much as the apprentice must fail to make a presentable pot before he produces masterpieces. Instead of all that, he found a place during a long lunch break (gaining a point of Discernment because of it) and back in camp encountered Wiuyo, who conveyed his suggestion and GE''s acceptance all in one afternoon. Made ambitious by good fortune, Dirant improved upon the scheme by retaining a Battler to warn if he had been observed by an inimical party, an improbable circumstance given his lack of sisters, and also by imposing upon fraternal hospitality.


    The particular location is best kept secret for all that the owner merited thanks for the services provided so discretely to so many. Details of its decor and how the obstruction so vital to privacy were accomplished must go without mention, and as for stating the value of the property, impossible. In fact Dirant deemed it would be better to skip over the incident entirely if anyone asked later.


    On the way there, the hired Battler expressed her feelings about the matter to her employer. ¡°I really see you in a different light now, Ressi. Carrying on like this . . . I don''t know how you''re going to escape opprobrium.¡±


    ¡°Is the reason for the laughter you fail to disguise that you intend for me to think you are shocked I arranged such a meeting while in truth you plan to needle me over how much help I need for it?¡±


    ¡°That''s precisely correct, Ressi. Nobody''s trailing you yet, by the way. Wait.¡±


    Dirant halted on the spot. As lightly as he had been speaking, the situation had its serious aspect. A trap set by a fairy was one thing, but if Doltandon Yurvitas, Miss Gelfid, other humans recruited by Ydridd since, or another party entirely devised a plot, the outcome might be injurious to his welfare. Perhaps Gelfid did not deserve inclusion in that company, though caution was indicated on the grounds that extensive time on the road gave freelance couriers opportunity to revolve the most sinister designs.


    Nothing in his survey of the street impressed him as suspicious. Everyone behaved just as he expected of a town of that size at that hour. Traffic was light, for the townsfolk not already arrived at their various destinations did not belong to the society of hurriers except for the occasional man of business who dreamed of spreading his ledgers over not just the town but the state as well, if not northwest Greater Enloffenkir as a whole. Even that type greeted fellow pedestrians without any of the rancor deserved for interposing a second''s worth of courtesy between someone with elevated hopes and his destination. Young men indulged their primitive need to dominate by lounging against walls or on fences; at times they accepted homage in the form of inquiries about how their parents, aunts, and uncles fared and dispensed answers with an open hand. Younger men, often referred to as boys, as well as girls, those being younger women, cleaned houses and store fronts as preparation for more arduous duties later in their lives. There were dogs.


    Dirant was on the verge of conceding his poor capacity for detecting threats, again, when Takki blushed at his confusion. ¡°Oh, I''m sorry, Ressi. I was the one who was supposed to wait. I realized something. What if Mr. Nalfenk didn''t tell you those things at all? If you invented the encounter to conceal your sordid past?¡±


    ¡°Mere cowardice stops us there. Suppose my conscience, aware of my failings, created Mr. Nalfenk from Ertith Energy in order to provide the accuser I have earned by my poor character.¡±


    Takki nodded and gave the proposal some thought. ¡°So far the only problems I''ve found are that you definitely can''t accomplish that feat and that Mr. Nalfenk does all sorts of things aside from accusing you. Other than that . . . Oh, there''s Mr. Nalfenk now.¡±


    The person in question passed by on the other side of the street whereupon he and Dirant nodded toward each other, which convinced Takki that a rapprochement had indeed occurred. She resumed the conversation, her tone even as though unaffected by the destruction of her theory for the simple reason that she had never believed it.

 41. Preparing For Meetings As The Successful Do

    First, Expect No Useful Result


    Dirant and his bodyguard proceeded to the room and were met shortly after by Gelfid Etenkloss and Wiuyo the bard. Dirant gave up on imagining what Mr. Nalfenk would have said about meeting three women at once on the grounds that he suspected himself to be grinning too much for reasons inscrutable to the others, behavior which must be regarded as impolite.


    The matter about which Miss Gelfid desired to consult him gave him a legible excuse to resume grinning, that time with brisk satisfaction rather than humor. After introductions, she addressed the issue directly. ¡°Mr. Doltandon may be in peril.¡±


    ¡°That is excellent news. Thank you for coming all this way to inform me.¡±


    ¡°But Mr. Dirant, he hasn''t been saved yet.¡±


    ¡°So I understood.¡±


    Gelfid stared in stupefaction. Evidently the meeting was not proceeding along the lines she conceived. Wiuyo exploited the silence to deliver a philosophical speech. ¡°A friend is someone who helps you, but a true friend is someone you help. Does that mean friendship is strengthened by suffering? It has to, but is the outcome of the bitter conundrum that friends rejoice in each other''s problems? Yes, it is.¡±


    Gelfid cheered up straightaway. ¡°That must be it. Am I not too simple to think about things that way? I need your help just because of that. Mr. Dirant, you amaze me.¡± Gelfid stood, curtsied, and sat again, a maneuver easy to perform in that boarding house because of the furnishings.


    Dirant turned to Takki and tried his best to craft an expression which asked if he should bother. Judging by her head shake, he succeeded in that even if the greater campaign was going against him. He grasped his tiny triumph to his heart while he listened.


    ¡°The whole thing is Queen Ydridd''s fault, which is nothing unusual. Mr. Doltandon has been employing a strategy of ''minimizing unfavorable encounters.'' He doesn''t let the fairies go out to fight in little bands like they used to, and if they do anyway, he tells them they are not welcome to come along when he goes to ''bully a weak baron for practice.'' He relies as much as he can on tourists. Even I know that''s the right thing to do, and I know not a single weapon.¡± Her Doltandon Yurvitas impression was coming along well.


    Takki jumped in with a question since she feared damaging the room too much to jump physically. ¡°I''m sorry if this sounds presumptuous, but did they not try to train you in the bow? I was told that''s universal here.¡±


    Gelfid hesitated to respond, but whatever reservations she held were weaker than her forthcoming spirit. ¡°We were supposed to, but after we realized nobody was tracking how well we did, stopping seemed the smart thing. Am I not an adult now? I don''t have to be ashamed. We had things to occupy us! We did! Important things. This isn''t helping Mr. Doltandon. The point is that Queen Ydridd understands less than I do. About many subjects.¡±


    That last part seemed unnecessary to Dirant, who looked again at Takki, this time adopting a look intended to request an opinion on the notion that Miss Gelfid had become more bitter in her dislike than when Ydridd held her as a captive and compelled her to fill a role she detested. Takki jerked her head to indicate that while she could not compare the two states due to her ignorance of the earlier, certainly Miss Gelfid''s present feelings included sincere aggression. Or if not, Dirant concluded such regardless.


    ¡°She told Mr. Doltandon that if cowardice prevented him from taking on that general, he could at least do something about that pretender. She always calls Mr. Medant Denmarof ''that general,'' and is it to make a point of her contempt or because she''s unable to remember his name? We can keep to our own opinions. Have you heard of Ksori?¡±


    Some time elapsed before the audience realized the second question lacked the rhetorical character of the first. Neither Dirant nor Takki had heard the name, as it happened. Wiuyo added that though she had in the context of a dreadful tyrant''s famous assassination by which Ksori freed his fellows from unbearable oppression, he presumably had been dead for quite a while, being a human who lived before she sprung into existence.


    ¡°That sounds like a fantastic story. It might be worth writing a song about it if that hasn''t been done already and if more details were available.¡± A bold effort on Takki''s part made not without skill, but Wiuyo only confirmed there were a few and subsequently retreated into reverie as well as to the outdoors where invention might have its pastures. Takki, discomfited, looked at Dirant in such a way as undoubtedly expressed that historical inquiries were not customarily impeded by reticence on the part of the living.


    ¡°Ksori is a fairy.¡± Miss Gelfid returned their attention to the present. ¡°He''s declared himself the fairy bandit king, not that it''s a genuine title, and established a little realm of his own. Mr. Doltandon decided to restore the queen''s confidence in him at Ksori''s expense.¡±


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    Dirant raised his hand. ¡°It may be an error on my part to interrupt here, and my excuse is a surmise that a clarification on one point will make the narrative more intelligible. Mr. Doltandon did not initially evince any great desire to become a general, yet now he is seen to be desperate to preserve his station.¡±


    ¡°That''s right.¡±


    ¡°Ah, it was wrong of me not to finish. Is there a reason do you know for his change in attitude?¡±


    ¡°It''s a matter of too much modernity. We all expect to be paid for what we do by the terms agreed, or a little less. Or a little more for people with unusual skills such as yours, Mr. Dirant.¡± The outsized effect Doltandon''s flattery had on her had convinced Dirant that her region was entirely ignorant of the practice, but she delivered without scorn and with a masterful hint of envy a tribute to his cunning the commercially minded Adaban liked to hear. Doubtless she belonged to the greater portion of mankind more used to painting the faces of others than having theirs painted, as Takki''s countrymen phrased it for some reason presumably explicable after deep cultural study.


    With Dirant''s cooperation cannily assured, Gelfid continued. ¡°But it wasn''t like that in the old days, we''re told. The fairies still live back then essentially. Queen Ydridd sometimes gives her followers things like it''s nothing just as in a period novel. Jewels, plates, saddles. Riches. Really it is nothing to her. Mr. Doltandon realized it wasn''t nearly so profitable to deal with a queen and a fairy in a straightforward contractual manner. It is better to be a, ah, courtier is what it is called, is it not? Is that what you wanted to know?¡±


    ¡°It was, and though I now am curious about the treasures amassed in Queen Ydridd''s service, that is far removed from the matter under discussion. Please forgive the interruption, Miss Gelfid.¡±


    ¡°My grandmother told me you can only forgive when you''ve been wronged, Mr. Dirant. As Mr. Doltandon has been. Maybe I should go straight to the end.¡±


    ¡°Ah, no, every detail may be important.¡± Dirant caught a glance from Takki which had for its substance a doubt whether zealousness in hearing about Doltandon Yurvitas''s misfortunes was commendable, to which he replied without words that his own pleasure notwithstanding, what he said was true. He was sure of the interpretation of that exchange because it consisted of her rolling her eyes and a smile on his part which he owed to be describable as smug, if not smarmy.


    ¡°I''m very glad to hear it,¡± Gelfid said and sounded. ¡°Some of the fairy upstarts are serious about improving their own property, ah, there are those modern ideas. They use every hour to fancy up their kingdoms. Ksori though, and I heard this from Mr. Doltandon, is more interested in the kidnapping business. You know how people are getting paid to snatch people away from their fun vacations?¡±


    Dirant nodded. He had assisted in a couple of those operations, fewer than he wanted but as many as his responsibilities allowed. Takki nodded while reminiscing about the many more in which she had participated.


    ¡°I think they''re entirely right to do it. These adventures read as very exciting and amuse the broadsheets perhaps, but, well, you understand as well as anyone, Mr. Dirant, but they are worse about it now that experienced brigands are giving out lessons. Who is the fairy who won''t be made worse by that?¡±


    Dirant remembered his earlier impulse to chide Takki for bandit-related laxity, an accusation which events proved unmerited at the time. How whimsical time can be. Takki, for her part, recalled a different incident entirely and poked a little table in her eagerness to relate it.


    ¡°When Miss Bodder wanted material for that article she was told to write about how the contrast between fairies and Adabans showed the failings of the latter all the more vividly, sort of like how we forget what luxury is until reminded of hardship, that''s precisely the kind of thing she wanted.¡±


    ¡°And she asked you? It is odd that a Dvanjchtliv should request assistance in criticizing us,¡± Dirant said. ¡°We do so ourselves with ease, and our relations with ourselves are only slightly more hostile.¡±


    ¡°I thought so too, but Miss Bodder has been dropped in a rotten bushel here because the contrast goes the opposite direction. She''s far more kindly disposed to Adabans now. They, I mean you and also they, restrict themselves to her family name while keeping pretty distant overall, and while that depresses her, fairies insist her first name is stupid and they wouldn''t want it even if she did something amazing. Oh, there''s something I wanted to ask about GE standards of public behavior. If someone, a fairy for instance, walked up to you and said that, is it acceptable to cry then?¡±


    The nuances required careful consideration before Dirant answered. ¡°With me specified, no. The expectation there must be indignation on my part at the offense against my parents and the man somewhere back in our family whose name I likely share. A crucial point there is that I am a native. A foreigner handled in such a fashion may be forgiven for a different reaction, the explanation being that she may be unsure that the crowd is behind her, and rightly so.¡±


    ¡°Great. She did cry.¡±


    ¡°Others saw this, or?¡±


    ¡°Several Adabans did, and that was how I learned fairies don''t care at all about social pressure. One gentleman was trembling with outrage, which I thought only happened in books. There were some threats too, but the fairies didn''t stay around.¡±


    ¡°There is confirmation of my supposition insofar as I am unaware of the incident. A chance to assign blame for improper behavior to a Dvanjchtliv with any plausibility cannot be universally rejected. As to the fairies, there is nothing to be done about them. Did you cry in public also, or did Miss Bodder tell you of it in a private setting?¡±


    ¡°We were alone. Oh!¡± Takki flicked her ponytail. ¡°Ressi. You''re really confident that I cried at some point. Why is that?¡±


    ¡°The deep and abiding empathy you possess which I have admired on many occasions.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± Unable to think of a response, Takki desisted until Gelfid made a request out of her own curiosity, the slight sort interested merely in remaining aware of the current happenings rather than the pitiless kind which persists regardless of persons, places, and situations, generally possessed by a type of person found at times invaluable but for the most part annoying.

 42. Enduring Meetings As The Successful Do

    Arrange For Interruptions On A Regular Schedule


    ¡°What is Miss Bodder''s full name? It is only that we have never been introduced to each other.¡±


    Takki replied offhandedly, heedless of the likely consequences. ¡°Erzrasprej Bodder.¡±


    ¡°Hahahaha!¡± Gelfid demonstrated by her unfeigned jubilation two of the three excellent reasons for every Adaban, Rik, Mabonn, Ottkir, and Heweker in camp without exception to refer to the Chtrebliseuan reporter by her last name alone. There was the wish to avoid an affront to Miss Bodder of course, but also to preserve oneself from the indignity of an intemperate display. If Doltandon Yurvitas had been present and heard Miss Gelfid''s laughs as they degenerated into snorts and wheezes, she might have gone straight to Ksori and asked to be sold off as a rower to some faraway continent. The third reason, of not being on sufficiently intimate terms with the lady to dare such familiarity, was not wholly divorced from the other two.


    By the time Gelfid recovered, any idea of continuing on that subject had fled. She resumed the main narrative, which interested her much more than it did anyone else in the room. ¡°It seems that some of Iflarent''s associates had been out in other countries making trouble for everyone at the time he died, and they flatly doubted he actually did. He had a reputation it seems for cunning beyond the normal. They thought he had faked his death and hid his money. In that way he could get free of the revenue-sharing agreement they all had made when their business had better prospects. Mustn''t the life of a criminal be tiring with all the suspicion and so? They came to investigate his hideout and found fairies.¡±


    If ever doubt arose within Dirant as to whether he generally obeyed the law from fear of punishment or as an inherent tendency, he might for evidence look to the fact he had failed at first to realize the enticing prospects of a world separate from the one patrolled by the authorities. Every highwayman, kidnapper, or counterfeiter, not to mention political agitators and publishers of libel-adjacent articles, grasped them instantly. He considered making a knowing remark about the plans of those brigand but opted instead to wait for Miss Gelfid to tell the story in her own way.


    ¡°These were the smart kind of thieves. Charismatic too. They convinced Ksori to set up a bandit hideout just the way they wanted it. Mr. Doltandon said it''s hard to attack. He also said they could confine hundreds of people there until the ransoms trot in. He gathered that from reports, and then he responsibly decided to look the place over himself. He has not come back. I wouldn''t blame him if he ran away, but I think there''s more to it because of this. Recently a disreputable-looking man left an audience with Queen Ydridd, and if he got what he wanted, I''ve never seen a happy person. From the way he scowled and grumbled I know he would have kicked a pebble if the kingdom had any. Is that not the behavior of a kidnapper refused the ransom he looks on as his right?¡±


    ¡°The one kidnapper I''ve seen thought he was succeeding at the time, so I really can''t help you find the right description. I think you''re doing well though.¡± That revelation of Takki''s past criminal acquaintances failed to startle Gelfid on account of Takki''s being both a Battler and from Pavvu Omme Os, two enigmatic categories to her.


    Dirant had nothing additional to contribute on the topic of kidnapper mannerisms. ¡°And what do you think is the chance he met with capture after failing to negotiate a cooperative venture with Ksori?¡±


    ¡°You are a humorous gentleman, are you not, Mr. Dirant?¡±


    ¡°No more than is common in Fennizen. And now, what is the conclusion?¡±


    Gelfid sighed. ¡°I hoped it was that I was wrong about the ransom and that Mr. Doltandon smartened up enough to come back to the real world and that his friends knew all about it. You were the only one Wiuyo thought she could find.¡±


    The door opened. ¡°Did someone mention me?¡±


    ¡°I did. Thank you again, Wiuyo.¡±


    ¡°You''re welcome.¡± The door closed.


    ¡°Now it''s a little unclear how it stands in the kingdom. The queen hasn''t yet appointed a replacement, so am I in charge? I could pay the ransom on my own authority if such is true.¡±


    ¡°Could you?¡± Dirant asked while trying not to scrutinize too closely Gelfid''s simple, honest, inexpensive attire.


    ¡°I could not. Right now, but if I am the general, must not Ydridd give me gems and such like she did Mr. Doltandon?¡±


    ¡°Did she before?¡±


    ¡°She did not. I could ask for something in the way of an advance.¡±


    ¡°Is that not a modern conception?¡±


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    ¡°Ah.¡±


    Dirant possessed a great amount of goodwill ready for distribution since he allotted Doltandon Yurvitas a minuscule portion only. Assisting Miss Gelfid in determining her best course would not exhaust it. ¡°What estimate of the ransom may be made based on what Ksori and his daring band have gotten so far? Presuming his capture of course.¡±


    ¡°They haven''t gotten any. This gang is late to the industry after all. Mr. Doltandon was sure they nabbed a few people but had not yet disposed of them.¡±


    ¡°Ah, he desired to enter the business at the beginning.¡±


    Takki, thinking that to be a bit much, stepped in. ¡°Is it silly of me to think the price will come down after a rejection? They don''t know his aunt is reconciled to him unless they read the news from Yean Defiafi, and while that isn''t impossible, I really think it''s a low-probability phenomenon.¡±


    ¡°Is that true about Mr. Doltandon''s aunt?¡± The news gladdened Miss Gelfid for all that the implications if the fact became generally known went against her current interests.


    The excursion down that conversational line decided Dirant to state upfront what he had been thinking all along. ¡°Now that everything we do not know about the monetary aspect has been addressed, it is best that we examine the alternative. Miss Gelfid, you have an army. Threaten the brigands and crush them upon receipt of any defiance.¡±


    His confidence in Gelfid''s power to achieve that result puzzled her almost as much as any suggestions as to a deficiency of probity on Mr. Doltandon''s part. ¡°But Mr. Dirant, I thought I said they have an excellent bandit fortress.¡±


    ¡°You did,¡± Dirant said, and leaned back to prepare for a speech he hoped would not sound overly didactic. He straightened upon remembering several professors who leaned back before letting loose an elementary lecture. ¡°Please remember that when evaluating my opinion that I am not an experienced bandit chief. An excellent hideout I have heard is one which has at least one rear entrance, and an excellent criminal operation is one which has sufficient personnel to conduct its operations and not a single hand more in order that the proceeds might be divided in an optimal fashion. A spirited defense against assaults is not a standard consideration.¡±


    Gelfid smacked her own head. ¡°I''m so stupid about these things. Queen Ydridd was right not to give me a globe filled with diamonds so that when you shake it, it makes the sound of money.¡±


    ¡°Is that an authentic item? Did she bestow it on Mr. Doltandon? Did he have it on his person when he was captured?¡± The matter at last won Dirant''s full attention. No fairy riches to date had melted in the sunlight or the moonlight either that he had heard, though no rigorous tests had been conducted. Furthermore, the greed of Ksori as contrasted with the absence of such in Ydridd''s character could be explained by a gap in wealth between the two, though certainly the difference admitted other explanations.


    ¡°No, she gave it to a tourist who wrote a poem about her. Mr. Dirant, I know it seems I''ll never stop bothering you, but what else can I do when you''re so helpful? My question is whether you think fairies can carry off a plan of the sort you mentioned, or?¡±


    ¡°Likely not. What is the quality of your human recruits?¡±


    ¡°There are some Functionaries, some Small Fry, maybe a few Warm Bodies or so.¡± That view of the condition of Ydridd''s army was a trifle too tinted for Gelfid to retain her pride as an honest woman should she refrain from correcting it. ¡°It''s probably almost half Small Fry, a third Warm Bodies, and some Functionaries and so. There is not a combat class around.¡±


    ¡°Reliable authorities assure me that you are happiest in your Small Fry population. The absence of hard classes is vexing. The squads I envisioned for assaulting the minor exits relied upon them.¡±


    Takki understood no more about strategy and logistics than the common Jalpi Peffu, which consisted exclusively of what a cousin in the government who held the rank of Paperwork Corporal (an unofficial designation but nevertheless accurate) said once at dinner, but in comparing Battlers to lesser classes, she possessed impressive experience. Moreover, her Fairy Battle ability marked her as one of the continent''s foremost experts in battling against Fairies. ¡°You have to have specific classes. I know they say that about regular fights too when they really mean generals always want more Brawny Knights, but this is different. I saw a Warm Body try to throw a net over a fairy and it fell straight to the ground without touching the target, but the same net functioned as intended when a Duelist who had learned an anti-fairy ability picked it up. I don''t want to have to say this, but if you can''t hire mercenaries, you can''t attack the bandit camp. Ressi, what''s a better plan?¡±


    ¡°Your confidence, while inspiring, is wholly misplaced. My martial capability extends that far only. Instead I must insist upon my single plan all the more. Discover the identities of captives held by Ksori, determine if anyone has offered bounties for them, and entice mercenaries on the promise of a share in those.¡±


    Rather than being heartened by the recruitment plan Dirant unfolded, Gelfid grew more dejected with each word. ¡°Your kind advice is wasted when I''m the one who hears it. Am I a general, an information gatherer, a ransom broker, and an employment agent for mercenaries, or am I none of those things? Can I even list the right classes? Battler, Duelist, Brawny Knight, Tiger Knight . . .¡±


    Takki assisted her. ¡°Myrmidon, Jobber, Pinpointer, Symbol Knight, sort of Acrobat but not really, Distorter. Chemistician maybe. Definitely not Ninja. Oh, and this is the one time you want a Ritualist in the actual fight.¡±


    Dirant had not bothered to hope she would not inform Miss Gelfid of that unusual facet of anti-fairy combat any more than he ever tried to take a nap at the side of a major avenue while a Visitation parade came by. Neither did he fail to anticipate that Gelfid would, in her desperation, request his assistance with an appeal founded on his non-existent friendship with Doltandon Yurvitas. He looked on the inevitable as an opportunity to refuse while he indulged in pleasurable imaginings of the traitor stuffed in a cell under a hall of partying brigands without even Mr. Aptezor and Mr. Taomenk to lighten the burden of imprisonment by their company. Would the meals satisfy his Yean Defiafish need for mild spice and lots of fins? Probably not.


    His preparations for reverie were interrupted, not by Gelfid''s inevitable plea but by Takki. ¡°If you think I''m too suspicious say so, but I like to step out of clandestine meetings at odd times to see if anyone is spying on me. It''s tremendously unlikely, but wouldn''t it be interesting if someone were? Ressi, you come too so we can look two ways at once.¡±

 43. Concluding Meetings As The Successful Do

    Enact Whatever Measures You Intended Beforehand Without Regard For The Points Raised


    Takki hustled Dirant out of the room past Wiuyo and down the staircase which a week ago he would not have understood to be scandalous. At the bottom, she confessed herself to be engaged in a ruse.


    ¡°Yes, and what is the aim? Though before that, allow me to say that your false explanation for your behavior has convinced me to adopt it as a genuine practice.¡±


    ¡°I''ve always wanted to do it, but I was never in any clandestine meetings. Nobody this way. Um, these may be bad guesses I made, but I had the impression you were going to refuse to come along. Then I would have to tell you I think you''re making a mistake, but it isn''t for a reason that I''m sure we want Miss Gelfid to hear.¡±


    After peeking around a corner, Dirant returned. ¡°The first projection is correct at least.¡±


    Takki looked up the stairwell in case of a spy roosting at a higher elevation. ¡°So I can put forward my argument? Here it is. It''s bad for anyone to make every decision based on slights and grudges, you''ll be helping other people, you''ll get paid, I''m definitely going, and most importantly, what if they aren''t mistreating that man at all? The safe supposition is that they are, but what if he really made a deal? He might be sitting there at a big table where all the brigands declare eternal brotherhood over the most sumptuous dishes right now during our conversation with Miss Gelfid, who''s so worried about him. And with Miss Wiuyo, who isn''t at all. They''re laughing and calling for their most exalted prisoners to bring in more food just to humiliate them. Probably one of them sticks his foot out to make one trip, some owner of five ships who finally was persuaded by his associates that sitting in an office all day gnawing his desk isn''t how he should repay himself. Can you see it, Ressi? Ksori enters, bows, and proclaims this is the start of the new bandit era. You shouldn''t believe that exactly is going on, but if you don''t go, thirty years from now you''ll have persuaded yourself of it. You''ll curse your own complacency. Whereas if you do come with, I''ll hold him down so you can thrash him a little bit, and I''ll be careful not to let you go too far. Now I await the argument of my honorable opponent.¡±


    She had told him of the unorthodox positions her countrymen espoused to prepare themselves for careers in public debating or simply to improve their facility with the language, and on those grounds he might have dismissed the speech as mere practice. He did not. Putting aside the absence of any sign of amusement in Takki''s voice or manner as well as the warm concern transferred from her cautioning hand to his arm, a vision came to him of Doltandon Yurvitas as he rose through positions of honor in his homeland not just unimpeded but accelerated on account of his deeds throughout fairyland. Never again need he suffer a single setback unless he changed his class back to Colorist in a fit of nostalgia. When that time came, the sure knowledge he had once suffered at least a portion of his deserved comeuppance would suffice to prevent such news from becoming intolerable. Moreover, the other captives, presuming there were some, deserved consideration, if not from Dirant than from a Ritualist who might as well have the name Dirant as any other.


    ¡°Is it too much of a disappointment if I concede right away?¡±


    ¡°A little,¡± Takki admitted. ¡°But I do think you''ll be better off.¡±


    ¡°I will then do so and manufacture objections later.¡±


    A fashionista may start reading a novel and, upon raising the subject in company, learn that all society had pretended to have read it eight years earlier. The theater aficionado aware of every play currently in performance and the sentiments each incurred both popular and critical often hears of condottieri doings on no earlier day than that which brings him to an uncle''s house for a relaxed weekend. The expert conversant with the latest discoveries in an archaeological field is easily surprised when he is compelled by civic ordinance to vote and discovers he knows none of the candidates even by reputation.


    ¡°That is understood, and yet there is less explanation for the fact that everyone except me has heard of Ksori,¡± Dirant mused. ¡°I have even participated in a few private operations. Is everyone simply averse to bothering me with disturbing rumors, or?¡±


    ¡°It''s a shame you haven''t had more opportunities, Ressi. Rescue jobs are surprisingly remunerative for the effort. On your problem, I think you''re forgetting that some of that man''s volunteers deserted when Miss Gelfid''s behavior started rumors, and then they bruited them in turn. Cascades like that have brought down governments.¡±


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    The fairy bandit king had surpassed all other petty chiefs in notoriety before Gelfid finished her inquiries, less than a week after the meeting. Just as she reported Doltandon had said, most upstarts preferred to create picturesque, indefensible headquarters such as open gardens, mansions in various styles, piles of sand under which they dug tunnels as if they yearned to take on the form of ants, and cottages composed of four different materials. Those vanity strongholds fell the instant any significant force of fairies, mercenaries, or Medants came against them.


    The reporters assured the public the conquests did not proceed so smoothly as that. Each battle, whether highly exciting or pleasantly ludicrous, bore its peculiar points of interest sure to delight the discerning reader. For example, the maze garden one fairy aesthete created was not overcome without cleverness. The obvious stratagems of cutting through the hedges or burning the place down entirely confronted the strange resilience which characterized the unnatural flora there and slunk off, embarrassed. Neither did a policy of turning either right or left exclusively yield any profit, for the owner retained the right to remodel his garden with his guests still inside. What allowed the attackers to prevail in the end was a decision to offer the unsuspecting fairy chieftain the gift of an invasive plant treated by modern horticultural techniques for improved proliferation capability. Certain readers, doubtless after shuddering and inspecting their own gardens, wrote the editor to insist the term ¡°improved¡± ought to be reserved for other applications. ¡°The latest proposal by the Entet will improve the laws by banning magical treatments intended to worsen the spread of unwanted varieties.¡± That was the sort of article they wanted to read.


    The broadsheets of course did not dare promise that, bound to deal in facts rather than fantasies as they were, but they could continue to bring to the public those whimsical, fable-like incidents as relief from gruesome accounts of battles between fairies which duty demanded their correspondents relate.


    ¡°Does anyone know any synonyms for ''savage'' I haven''t used yet?¡± Kodol asked once, still in his customary good humor but revealing some exasperation as he ran down his list. ¡°Brutal, inhumane, uncivilized, horrid, barbaric, untrammeled. I''m tired of saying all that. Does anyone know a better career? How hard is it to do rituals?¡±


    ¡°What is your Receptivity?¡± a Ritualist within hearing asked.


    ¡°That isn''t it,¡± Kodol said. ¡°I''m staying where I am, but I like to hear that people are doing well for themselves.¡±


    Compared to those, the base Ksori inhabited seemed a veritable Bairgui. Though Bairgui had been taken several times throughout history by the concerted efforts of mighty armies, never was the task accomplished without a campaign worthy of inclusion in the appendix of some military history or other. One scholar claimed to have found numerous instances of the phrase ¡°might as well attack Bairgui¡± in writings which suggested it once functioned as a proverb. Others disputed his theory on the basis that a proper consideration of the context revealed all such references to come from plays and biographies in which attacking Bairgui was a contemplated action, and in some cases seemingly one considered to involve no greater difficulty than any major siege, which was great enough.


    So it was with Ksori''s fortified den. Mercenaries preferred to attack softer targets, but the more confident among them did not shrink from a heavier task. Because Ksori''s ne''er-do-wells had been as active as the rumormongers, the bandit district soon enjoyed the highest density of ransom per square acre in fairyland. Promised a Ritualist to accompany them, though two would have been better (and three too many), several bounty hunters agreed to Gelfid Etenkloss''s proposed venture.


    Onsalkant Tlol and Onsalked Otnilk, the Brawny Knight couple, fit their helmets over black Adaban hair they wore short for convenience in that very regard to signal their readiness for any hard deed. Auemoieu, an adventurer from Saueyi who had a mysterious past and an assumed name which resembled a vocal exercise, contributed a two-handed sword he wielded with prodigious strength and Battler skill. Furthermore, his height was such that a wilderness scout accustomed to climb trees for better vantages might mistakenly scramble up on his shoulders for the purpose.


    Then there was Skadlif Derogillen, a Duelist known even to Dirant and Gelfid if not to Takki. Among living condottieri, the most illustrious may have been Istent Aradetnaf, but not far behind was that same Skadlif, who attained such fame and success that he tired of it. He completed all outstanding contracts, dissolved his band, and retired as a captain only to reappear now and then to instruct a promising student, take away a prize from some competitor who overestimated his own excellence, or to offer milita training to a state bedeviled by highwaymen. Despite all that history, his reddish-black Mabonn hair had just begun to gray, a sign of how early he won his reputation. The minute he agreed to join the elite team was the same he became its commander, all without discussion.


    Nobody merited mention in comparison to him, and the consequences of that fact proved the value to people who wish to be remembered of signing up promptly. The various Battlers, Duelists, and even Reciters who joined after Skadlif were lucky to place in a list an interested reporter compiled, and the ones rejected fared still worse.

 44. The Hideaway Bandits And The Wondrous Ladder

    Gelfid failed to elicit any clarification from Queen Ydridd as to her actual position in the kingdom, and making a virtue of ambiguity, she resolved to announce to the army her intention of taking charge during the general''s absence. ¡°How many of them will follow I''m sure I don''t know, but do you think fifty is enough to distract the brigands, or must I gather eighty? More?¡±


    No longer did she conduct negotiations in tawdry boarding houses. Atkosol granted her immunity from harassment by his employees when Skadlif Derogillen applied for it, swearing on his reputation as a man of honor against whom no living person worth considering had legitimate cause for complaint that doing so would redound to Mr. Atkosol''s benefit. When apprised that she was free to travel as she wished, she reacted with confusion. ¡°Was I not before?¡± she asked Dirant.


    ¡°The usual definition of freedom does not include being detained in the city district to deprive Queen Ydridd of your advice which, as flummoxed as you must often feel, is a definite improvement over her own ideas. That you would be subjected to such is far from certain given the legal complexities as well as your understandable and widely understood lack of loyalty to the queen, and yet.¡±


    Amazement shoved confusion to stand on the platform beside it where it might receive the second-place prize. ¡°I never thought of that. I might have been in a predicament! It''s a relief to me that you''re as confidentially inclined as you are, Mr. Dirant.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡± Speaking to someone in a way that might be construed as accusatory after receiving a compliment from said person, while not indisputably rude, had a whiff of poor breeding about it. Nevertheless, Dirant made curiosity his guide. ¡°For what reason then did you communicate with me in such a roundabout manner if not to evade broader notice?¡±


    ¡°I only had Miss Wiuyo leave a letter for you to find, nothing roundabout,¡± Miss Gelfid said, leaving the Kitslofer with a sense that the several states of Greater Enloffenkir differed culturally more than he previously suspected.


    That was a mere social nuance brought up after everyone agreed on the important points such as fixing the day for the operation. When it came, fairyland felt the advent of the Silken Gull Squad, as it pleased Skadlif Derogillen to label his assemblage of experts on violent resolutions to otherwise intractable disputes for the duration of the operation.


    ¡°The reference is to a bold brigand suppression campaign waged by a genius,¡± he explained. ¡°I remember none of the details. Now then.¡±


    With that and the assistance of Wiuyo, who promised to pick them up after the battle (what she would do in the eventuality such did not occur remained vague), the squad entered the border regions at the very moment when, if the spirit of cooperation held, Captain Gelfid was exhorting Ydridd''s army to march in defense of its general.


    The border had expanded greatly, so much so that calling it a border invited criticism. Unclaimed territory, some preferred to label it. The fairy realms no longer fit neatly into the spaces between spokes, and political maps of the place could be reproduced by spilling cider on a painter''s palette on account of the various minor holdings, the inconsistent coverage of the city district over the three it was replacing, and the by that point incontrovertible increase of the world''s overall size. The exact reasons for and implications of such alterations worried the theoretical thinkers, while the practical concerned themselves with the ogres and other entities which roamed the borderlands after the dissolution of their accustomed habitats.


    Among other problems, they regretted the awkwardness of saying ¡°entity¡± over and over. Some tried adding ¡°sprites¡± for variety, but that did not solve the underlying problems. That fairies did not belong to the broad category of ¡°monster¡± was accepted, but the position of ogres, Hill Riders, Lying Dice, and other fixtures of tales told to children relative to either group or to one another was unclear. Some modeled everything in fairyland as several branches of a larger grouping along the lines of animal species, while others suggested each to be a separate and singular creation. Worse, on this single point fairies did not avoid questions but rather stated frankly they had always been puzzled about the subject. Gabdirn himself, the former Jiojjil rather than the current Heweker, remained in the region once released from captivity and participated in the inquiries, debates, and experiments involving monster-related class abilities.


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    As fascinating those areas of study were, not just to academics and scientifically minded gentlemen along with their primers but even to the general public for a month or two longer, the practical sort, to give him back his prominence, focused on the danger such entities presented to the traveler. Skadlif''s group, as its members preferred to call it in spite of Mr. Skadlif''s gentle reminders, drove away several ogres, a pair of chimeras, and something suspected to be a Bell Miser.


    ¡°Not for much reason. Simply that he looks it,¡± Skadlif said.


    Takki tapped Dirant''s arm. ¡°If he was, I''m sad that we didn''t capture him. Do you think the version which has him put his treasure in a bell because he doesn''t realize the sound will drive him away is true, or does he make jars to store his treasure that people find and turn into bells because of the excellent craftsmanship?¡±


    ¡°I was unaware such variations existed,¡± Dirant admitted.


    Mr. Skadlif however did not waste time worrying what he did not know. ¡°I presume the former. He had the hands of a non-craftsman.¡± Such swift judgments, unreasonable as they seemed in the library or study, saved lives and won battles. They lost them too, and for that reason Skadlif did not resent subsequent debate on the subject after he delivered his own opinion. The scope widened to include the particulars of several sprites as well as the literary merits of various folk and fairy tales as collected from various regions of the continent, topics on which Skadlif had fewer opinions and the Brawny Knights rather more.


    A group which included more mercenaries possessed of strong literary opinions might have fallen apart before it reached the bandit realm, especially when the countless adaptations of the Ayena story became impossible to resist addressing. Since however only three of them applied any enthusiasm beyond what casual conversation requires, and because Takki was willing to concede every folktale has its charm regardless of the craft with which it was assembled, no such loss of cohesion occurred before the Silken Gull Squad reached its destination.


    Perhaps robbers outside of Greater Enloffenkir imagined the perfect hideout as something other than a fortress embedded in a wooded hill, and what an indictment of them that would be, with indulgence granted to land-deprived countries such as Eubosh Ashurit which had no recourse but to send their criminals out on ships. Ksori had provided himself to conceal his fastness an entire range of hills rich in arbors of a superb sort which nature, reluctant to encourage crime, refused the usual bandit.


    The quality of the inhabitants did not match that of the locale. The mercenaries found disguised stations on branches and ledges, all of them empty of the sentries Iflarent''s associates without question wanted to place there, their plans undone by deficient manpower and discipline. Still, the brotherhood would grow into its proper staff size if Ksori remained unmolested, for which reason the rescuers set about molesting him.


    Auemoieu was a man who understood concealment. He discovered a trail blocked from view by a profusion of boulders and shrubs he considered excessively convenient. Even reaching the suspicious section required him to navigate around an escarpment which ended at a point where it appeared to be continuous. He stated in rough Adaban that the precautions impressed him, while admiration for his own accomplishment came from others more fluent in the language.


    The squad withdrew then to await the signal Miss Gelfid had committed to sending upon arriving at the main entrance with whatever force she was able to raise. That signal consisted of a chariot directed by a fairy and pulled by crystal horses which raced around the district''s perimeter some two hours later. Chariots of war, in Egillen at least, existed nowhere but in museum exhibits, the collections of wealthy amateur historians, and Ydridd''s voluminous, eclectic treasury. Only one of those sources also had crystal horse sculptures capable of motion, for all that the amateur historians descended from Dvanjchtlivan heroes wished otherwise. The scarcity proved the provenance of the message, collaborators who wanted to see a chariot in actual use had claimed.


    Skadlif opened his mouth, surveyed his Silken Gull Squad, and closed it again. ¡°None of you need a speech,¡± he said, and if that was clearly a theatrical maneuver, the privilege of witnessing a true condottiero possessed of a significant Panache stat dissuaded his subordinates from pointing it out.


    The group advanced to the rear passage and progressed along a twisty path. Its alternating long, straight sections and sudden contortions gave it the character of certain organs more familiar to the non-Ritualist members of the expedition than to the common man on account of incidental exposure. Dirant that day received an education in where his food went that aroused his pity for the countless meals he had put through that ugly process and the countless more he would consign to the same fate.


    At regular distances they hopped fences, also disguised, and passed under ledges placed with purpose. ¡°Such losses must be taken in storming this place, fully manned! Nature is kind to the defender while the attacker has Gumption alone,¡± a Reciter pronounced. Fortunately they ended up as neither because they reached the actual building without being forced into any action so unmannerly as getting into a fight.

 45. Adventure Of The Slipslop Band

    Local custom demanded that attempts to mislead visitors be made at every point. Certainly anyone who penetrated that far guessed a door existed somewhere in the blank stone wall painted in a similar orangish brown to the exposed rock around it, but finding the mechanism which operated it would slow invaders sufficiently for the inhabitants, properly warned, to complete their escape. Even Auemoieu wasted time testing boulders in the event their tops lifted up to reveal a lever while his companions ran their hands along the wall, tapped, and listened.


    He backed off when he remembered the predilections of the hill-dwelling clans of Saueyi and examined the artificial cliff walls, shading his eyes against the uncanny light. ¡°That''s good,¡± he said. ¡°Good place.¡±


    Not more than three minutes after that, Skadlif was scampering up a slope far too severe in its angle for walking with the aid of a rope attached to a hook; a Brawny Knight''s beefy arm had thrown it up that he might explore a shallow cave. Not more than three minutes after that, he located the control system for the door. He further discovered a rope ladder he lowered to ease his descent, a clock, the first twenty installments of A Simple Week in the Country compiled, a standing harp, and a table carved to have a shallow dip some liked when the dice emerged. Evidently long shifts were anticipated.


    The door swung silently outward. A supplemental trick used to disguise it was revealed only then, for the entrance did not sit at ground level as a searcher might presume. The bottom of it started nearly a full leg high. Its unconventional placement not only frustrated the common back-entrance-finder but also forced additional delay because the invader who took that route, if not a giant, had to haul himself up and roll or swing himself in.


    ¡°Here we adopt the expected formation, I suppose.¡± Onsalkant Tlol''s suggestion received Skadlif''s approval, whereupon the Brawny Knight, the combatant they had closest to a giant, took the fore while the other Brawny Knight fell to the rear. In such wise they entered the fairy bandit king''s redoubt.


    Wary of potential defenders, the mercenaries were unable to raise their voices to discuss the interior, which was a shame, since it had much to recommend it. The short tunnel gave enough clearance overhead that even Auemoieu walked proud and straight. As to its width, it accommodated two abreast (or a single Brawny Knight) with comfort, but not with license to bring superior numbers against the poor inmates on whose hospitality such a transgression imposed. It curved continuously in the classic fashion.


    All that put it above the usual brigand lair, probably. Dirant had only stepped in unusual ones. He guessed that Ksori''s came out well as far as the standard characteristics, and what he did know from his own experience was that the place''s unique attractions distinguished it even from the underground complex Glainai Gabas once maintained beneath his glamorous mansion. The notorious criminal genius from Yean Defiafi connected his important rooms with plain tunnels and stocked them with lanterns, whereas depictions of valiant highwaymen and noble tyrant-slayers lined the walls about the mercenaries in relief as exaggerated as their deeds, visible on account of the fairy light which suffused the fortress. Below those, painted rather than carved, scenes of productivity essential as prerequisites to the events above calmed the soul, provided the viewer could look on fleece-bearing flocks and fleets filled with cargo without wondering how his own commercial ventures fared. Neither the bandits nor the mercenaries suffered from such distractions with the possible exception of the former condottiero.


    The extravagantly decorated tunnel dumped the intruders into an armory, less ornate but fully stocked with everything on the proficiency lists of any two Battlers. Past that, kitchen facilities equipped to prepare meals for any two hundred Battlers proved the influence which the bandits had on the construction, as well as how hungry they had been during the planning session.


    They remembered their finer needs, of course. A spring had its own chamber much like what a king gives to his bride when he fears appearing not to take the alliance seriously or instead consecrates to a new god he wants to make popular in a scheme to undermine the priests, for in its dimensions it surpassed the average family''s entire house. Barriers diverted the water into baths, a placid central pool, and into sluices which conducted it to all relevant facilities. What a hardship it must have been for the residents to leave that chamber and its glistening tiles, its ceiling-covering fresco, and its bronze and marble sculptures which depicted creatures too fantastical even for the barren fields between territories claimed by fay barons. The fresco may have been considered the most admirable element if only anyone could raise himself high enough to see it.


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    Private rooms, lounges, more private rooms, more kitchens, and an indoor archery range might have distracted the assaulting force if not for the architectural suggestions of a hall which was the very heart of the stronghold. A grand corridor outlined a rectangle, and while the outer walls maintained the style of the rest of the hideout, the inner stood distinct as white marble veined with purple. Moreover, there was noise in that direction.


    Skadlif made gestures which directed the squad to reform into two halves, each group of eight led by a Brawny Knight and positioned outside a different portal, as the doors into the hall deserved to be called on account of their size and grandeur. He further directed them to make a quiet entrance. The balance between caution and aggression vexed every commander, and only success could relieve the burden. That and failure, but some potential outcomes were better ignored.


    The Brawny Knights on his cue eased open the doors onto a hall which, if asked, the architect of the royal residence of Chtrebliseu''s king might have called ¡°a trifle excessive.¡± Of course that worthy would have presumed the hall to be the king''s third dining room, the one he used when he felt himself not up to receiving company, but nevertheless, most would agree Ksori had overdone it, possibly including the brigands themselves.


    The ground level accessible from the entrances acted as a gallery, for the hall descended into a great bowl. Spectators could on a clear day see the other side of the chamber from there. Looking down, the attackers saw a round table of dark polished oak eerily similar to what Dirant had envisioned when Takki proposed her scenario of bandit revels except far larger. He estimated it was able to seat somewhere from fifty to five hundred men, another example of why he seldom was asked to estimate anything. It accommodated slightly over one hundred in reality. In the center sat a superb conversation piece, a scale model of the entire bandit district. Doubtless Ksori made the table immense in proportion to his hopes of expansion.


    The other decorations and furnishings waited upon a more serene occasion for examination. Skadlif and his companions focused on combat-significant items, and there were enough of those. Four men dressed in the customary manner of the Adaban brigand, which is to say as much like everyone else as they could contrive, stood on the side of the table which the model''s front entrance faced and tapped the area which represented the main approach with sticks.


    ¡°Before we face the enemy, you must first allow time for him to become wearied and bored.¡±


    ¡°You remember of course your positions. You will not all run out together like politicians frightened by a loud sound in their mistresses'' closets but instead occupy the towers, those of you assigned to them, and keep behind the traps and barricades, the rest of you.¡±


    They were discoursing along those lines to the other sort of bandit, the free-spirited kind which dressed in the most exotic costume imaginable and from time to time, mood permitting, pretended to listen. For fairies, exotic costume involved a shocking variety of feathers, many of them taken from birds which perhaps did not exist, at least not in the present day. The bekirbird or kigitlabird for instance.


    The serious brigands persisted in their lectures despite the unwillingness of their underlings to behave as they ought. While prepared for prompt action, as proved by wrestling matches and riddle competitions which broke out spontaneously around the hall, their level of organization suited them less for ambuscades and patient resistance than it did even for field combat.


    Skadlif estimated the number of fairies with some accuracy, decided that the four dozen or so there must be the bulk of Ksori''s forces, and signaled the attack. ¡°You have the option to surrender until our blades clash,¡± he declared as a professional courtesy while flourishing his own sword and dagger.


    Three of the four human criminals saw the mercenaries, reckoned the value of Duelists and so forth against fairies, and placed their hands behind their heads. The fourth, an optimist, yelled. ¡°Brothers! We are attacked! Rally!''


    That brought nearly thirty more fairies running in and ten ethically questionable businessmen, six of whom came to the same conclusion as three-quarters of their colleagues already present. The rest took the proper place for brave men, which was behind the fairies.


    Though the urgency of battle prevented them from saying it then, the mercenaries later spoke of their admiration for the bandits'' accomplishments. ¡°It is a cowardly profession they follow and unworthy, the more so considering their organizational capability,¡± a Reciter intoned.


    Dirant agreed. ¡°It is a mistake often committed that Myrmidons, Pinpointers, and so underestimate their potential commerce. Much progress has been made in correcting this misapprehension, and yet not everyone reads the periodicals which concern themselves with such matters.¡±


    ¡°Don''t you think it''s worse back home?¡± Takki added. ¡°I mean in Pavvu Omme Os. Though I might just not know much about the proportions of classes in the commercial milieu.¡±


    The social problems of the far north notwithstanding, the spectacle of fairies jumping up on the table in order to form ranks impressed them all deeply. Some of the bandits recovered their courage because of it. Almost as striking was to see them dance on it in response to a gesture from the unit''s Ritualist, himself prompted by Skadlif. The robbers if anything believed that occurrence to be more striking to judge by the fact they again altered their intentions.


    ¡°We surrender after all!¡± one shouted.

 46. Neer Was A Fiercer Punch Thrown

    ¡°What''s that word, ''surrender?'' I''m surprised this fastness doesn''t shake itself apart to hear it uttered.¡± A fairy sauntered through the portal behind his associates. His onyx-black eyes flashed, and not in the figurative sense favored by serial writers to whom the opportunity to repeat a phrase always appealed. His black hair looked disheveled as it only can when the person beneath it applies care to achieving that effect. As for feathers, of course he had decorated himself with them.


    Either the newcomer was Ksori or else he had dropped by on his way to model for a painter working on a piece called ¡°The Audacious Highwayman,¡± the purpose of his visit being to thank his neighbors for their excellent advice on how to carry himself like a man who puts thrills and money above morals and, a study of bandit income would probably show, quite a bit more money. Either way, the brigands gained heart at his advent. Some of the fairies ceased dancing long enough to invite Ksori to join them, an unprecedented feat which boggled Dirant. He had the luxury for that sort of behavior, seeing as he had done his single job, though from an excess of professional fervor he began a backup ritual despite the low likelihood he would be given time to complete it.


    Ksori leapt onto the table, and if he did not achieve the height Jiojjil did, none of the brigands had been present for that and therefore rated the current performance as singularly impressive. That spurred them to advance after all, and several fairies resumed their former belligerence in Ksori''s wake, excited more by the upcoming battle than by antique dances.


    On that day, a question was answered. The fairies had proclaimed five among them to be the strongest, but what were the details? Were Jiojjil, Ydridd, Ishtu, Ava, and Zatdil superior to other fairies by rank alone or by their inherent strength? Did a set number of positions for exceptional fairies exist such that, with the defeat or resignation of three of them, Lommad and Ksori became more powerful to bring the numbers back up? The truth was in the punch Onsalkant Tlol delivered with his left hand to Ksori''s stomach which caused the fairy bandit king to crumple up like mabonnpaper in a tornado.


    ¡°Setback¡± and ¡°defeat¡± are not synonyms though, and Ksori righted himself quickly. Another fairy mystery concerned HP. Their status showed none, and yet they evidently had it. Wherever he kept his, Ksori had plenty of vitality left after a single blow, meaty as it was. Meanwhile the free fairies came against the mercenaries, not at all discouraged by their leader''s ineffectiveness, if indeed they considered him their leader and not an entertainer who offered them a few weeks'' diversion.


    Perhaps they instead ought to have studied the disposition of forces and begun an exchange of letters in a publication relevant to the subject such as The Martially Minded Fairy''s Primer. As it was, the first wave suffered a total repulse, though none of the fairies required resurrection. They turned to look at the brigands, heavy with expectation, while the brigands in turn examined the steadfast mercenaries and their own statuses with the utmost care. The exercise assured them victory had not yet decided for one side or the other so long as fairies and humans acted in concert, a glorious microcosm of the fraternity of robbers which transcended tribe, country, and even species up until a dispute arose about the spoils, the relative performance of the band''s members, or who had the right to look at whom in what manner. ¡°We''re with you!¡± one declared, his bow drawn and his feet utterly still.


    The display failed to move the Silken Gull Squad, a unit formed out of veterans unaccustomed to entertain the enemy''s vain shouts as a guide to their own behavior and also a commercial Ritualist. The mercenaries prepared to meet a second charge, nor did the defenders disappoint them. Such deeds of bravery followed that Wiuyo would have been forced to cut half of them from her song for time reasons had she seen any of it.


    During the clash, the bandit king whooped and somersaulted back off the table. ¡°I don''t blame you for wanting to win battles in place of losing them, but as for me, a fair battle is a loss by definition. Some trickery is what I want, I planned it, and you''re going to get it now! Aha!¡± The entire assemblage of brigands shouted ¡°Aha!¡± with Ksori as he reached behind a statue and fiddled with something.


    Skadlif did not call for a retreat, reasoning anything to be faced was best faced together. It was too late for any but the swiftest to escape, after all. An iron cage, its bars as thick as Jiojjil''s spear, descended and trapped the invaders while Ksori laughed.


    The mercenaries joined him in that. The brigands did not. The cage encompassed the entire hall. ¡°You cut off our own escape!¡± a brigand wailed. ¡°There are traps all over we cannot use!¡± Ksori could do nothing but shrug during his band''s subsequent defeat and capture.


    He was a good sport about the whole thing. A pettier fairy might have refused to explain how to retract the iron cage, though even furnished with that information the mercenaries had trouble carrying his instructions out. Reaching through the bars at the proper angle to reach the mechanism was a feat not all could accomplish, and Skadlif had turned away all the Acrobats who applied for a place.


    Ksori further directed the rescuers toward the cells where he stashed his victims, which sped up the operation far beyond what might have been expected. ¡°Did anyone else presume they were kept underground?¡± Takki asked. She was relieved to learn her misapprehension derived not from a personal fault or an inefficiency in her homeland''s imprisonment techniques. Everyone regardless of tribe had thought the same thing, but Ksori flouted tradition as readily as he would have the laws if any existed in the fairy world.


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    He had reasons beyond mere perverseness, the victors learned when he offered persuasive arguments for his decision to place the holding cells on the second and third floors. ¡°The ground and basement stories are riddled with escape routes, and escape is a privilege we reserve for ourselves. Really, I never had a notion of laying out our place of business otherwise and am surprised that you''re surprised.¡±


    ¡°We are surprised because robbers rarely have the means,¡± Skadlif explained, and his colleagues agreed that governments alone stored their undesirables in towers despite the practical benefits of the arrangement.


    Aside from bare existence of higher floors, surprising as that was, their relative opulence astounded the outsiders; relative, that is to say, not to the rest of the compound but rather to the typical prison, barracks, or company housing. Ksori deprived his unwilling guests of privacy but not space. Each room extended far enough from its mandatory iron bars that the resident was able to pace across it without bumping into himself coming the other way, a hazard reported by some who endured especially long confinements in government towers.


    Despite the luxuriousness of their accommodations, superior in fact to many hotels, the kidnapped all expressed relief and gratitude, the proportion of the two differing by individual. The mercenaries returned those exact feelings, in their case gratitude to the victims for having made themselves worth something to others and relief as to their prospects for discharging various financial obligations.


    Only in one case was a prisoner''s release accompanied by the powerful sentiment known as friendship. ¡°Good afternoon, Mr. Doltandon. It appears that Ksori and his associates rejected your offer.¡±


    ¡°They very foolishly did, Dirant! You may still address me as Yurvitas, by the way.¡±


    ¡°And yet I do not.¡±


    Doltandon Yurvitas, though allotted the same space as every other prisoner and presumably treated no worse in other respects, was in an exceptionally agitated state. He may have already reached the phase of pacing across the walls and ceiling which the sufferers of the longest confinements reported reaching for all that the jailers remembered it differently. Upon the fact of his changed circumstances having reached his understanding, he gathered his urbanity and Panache from the corners of his cell where he had dropped them. ¡°Each of us has his own opinions. For now, my feelings overcome me, meek as I am, and leave me unable to do anything but shudder, batted back and forth between thankfulness and elation like a tennis ball. What more is there to say but await the perfection of your benevolence in my release?¡±


    ¡°What is your name, sir?¡± asked Skadlif in a tone as if courtesy itself had manifested as a Mabonn.


    ¡°Doltandon Yurvitas, sir.¡±


    ¡°The list does not include that name, sir,¡± said Skadlif in a manner not unlike apathy itself, fallen to earth through sheer negligence.


    ¡°Yes, that is unsurprising.¡± Doltandon had picked up his Discernment along with his other qualities and therefore had indeed expected that outcome. ¡°Still, you will not be deceived into thinking there will be no reward commensurate with the very minor task of opening my cell at the same time as all these others, Mr., oh, of course in Greater Enloffenkir introductions are necessary even when we all know who you are.¡±


    Spite was one thing and malice another, and what noble feelings they both are. Nevertheless, they must shrink before etiquette, the very stuff of which society is formed. Dirant performed the introduction. ¡°This opportunity is a blessing for me. Doltandon Yurvitas. Skadlif Derogillen.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Mr. Dirant. Mr. Skadlif, there is to be sure no reward for my return. That I grant. Why shouldn''t we look for more profit than that? Once out of here, I will alienate a portion of Queen Ydridd''s army from her service, this is an audacious statement in the ears of the uninformed but pure truth nevertheless, and conclude an agreement with Mr. Atkosol Tellanstal. A portion of the earnings will go to you. Will my army be good? Not at all, but it will be enough. Trust me in this and all will acclaim you a gentleman more than they do already, which is a very loud cry to be sure.¡±


    ¡°It is so,¡± Dirant confirmed, causing Doltandon to frown. Flattery was a tricky matter; an excess of it seemed condescending, the right amount depended on the recipient, and too little was worse than none. Evidently he had miscalculated in believing the mercenary before him to be ¡°the mercenary¡± rather than someone of importance.


    ¡°I must trust in results, which are soon seen.¡± Skadlif''s response disturbed Doltandon still further until Dirant explained.


    ¡°A part of that very army stands before this base and distracts the remainder of the brigands.¡±


    ¡°Impossible!¡±


    ¡°Miss Gelfid mustered it.¡±


    ¡°That is very possible. I could speak for hours of the opportunities you missed by leaving us so early, Mr. Dirant, and of the plenty I intended for you, Mr. Taomenk, and Mr. Aptezor to share with me. I will do so later. For now you must be content with hearing the most precious was the opportunity to learn more about one another. Why do we pass others in the street so quickly? What do we miss in our unnecessary haste?¡±


    Though unsure of the ¡°we,¡± Dirant accepted the gist. ¡°That Miss Gelfid is capable of extraordinary loyalty, or?¡±


    ¡°Yes! She has other qualities too. Well then, release me, Mr. Skadlif, and I will inflame the army by telling the troops of my mistreatment and how Queen Ydridd is unquestionably the cruelest creature in the world to permit it.¡±


    ¡°Hm.¡±


    ¡°Likely he is capable of it,¡± Dirant attested.


    Skadlif shrugged and requested that Ksori open that one too. Effecting an unprofitable release cost less time than arguing about it. If both cost more than ignoring Doltandon Yurvitas from the beginning, even the condottieri who reached the apex of financial success in their field belted their humane feeling on their belts next to their ruthless swords, or if they did not, retirement was their chance to take it back up, much as many went into painting, coin collecting, or interest in narrow historical fields.

 47. The Jolly Warriors, The Prisoner, And The Big March

    Outside his cell, Doltandon recovered everything he had lost. Straighter, more confident, and less patient, he said, ¡°Thank you for the helpful word, Dirant.¡±


    ¡°Not at all, and that is not the limit of my desire to assist you in your proposed endeavor, which promises to be a boon for you, Mr. Atkosol, and Mr. Medant together, to list them in the order of my fond feeling for them only reversed. I further intend to strengthen your speech''s power by correcting the sad absence of any visible signs of mistreatment.¡±


    ¡°I don''t get what you mean.¡±


    ¡°I do. All right, Ressi, I have a hold on him.¡±


    ¡°What? Ow! Ungh!¡±


    Takki recommended that Doltandon shut his mouth while Dirant worked him over to prevent any tongue-biting. The other mercenaries, for their part, offered tips to Dirant concerning techniques optimal for raising a black eye and welts noticeable from a good distance. Neither did he neglect to incorporate their advice into the beating, reasoning that his ulterior motive did not exclude achieving the ostensible goal. Owing to a zealous amateur implementation, Doltandon soon became what Dirant judged to be an excellent example of a picturesque victim, obviously subjected to hardship but not in such a way that people recoiled from the sight. Informed of that, Doltandon requested a mirror.


    ¡°Gaze rather on this polished armor,¡± Onsalkant Tlol offered, and indeed the protection which covered the Brawny Knight''s back, broader than a philosopher''s views, allowed Doltandon a reflective surface adequate for that use.


    ¡°Eminently satisfactory,¡± he said. He then waited for the mercenaries to escort him to the front of the stronghold that he might pursue his promised course. The escorts did not think of themselves as such, but neither does a grazing cow appreciate its eventual purpose.


    Takki hung back when the procession began after Skadlif assured himself that every profitable prisoner was freed. She pulled Dirant back with her to ask, ¡°What about your satisfaction, Ressi? How eminent is it?¡±


    ¡°Enough for its biographer to start his work while still it lives. My feelings of aggrievement have departed to make room for pride in workmanship, and now my earnest wish is for Mr. Doltandon to impress his audience and thereby give tribute to my skill in facial reconfiguration. There is this one regret, that I am unsure if I have thanked you sufficiently for encouraging me to jump on the better horse.¡±


    ¡°You''re welcome. Is that a saying?¡±


    ¡°No, but it seems the sort of thing a Dvanjchtliv might say, and the recent heroic struggle calls that tribe to mind.¡±


    ¡°It really does. Oh, but while we''re talking, I want to dissuade you from getting too carried away by good feeling. Mr. Doltandon is still a scoundrel and you shouldn''t trust him. I have one more thing to say.¡±


    ¡°And that is what?¡±


    ¡°You know.¡± With eyes turned away and nervously shifting feet, Takki resembled a child within accusation range of a broken bowl. Her height contributed to the impression as well.


    He did not. ¡°Is it not pleasant to have the matter clearer than the clearest pool and bluer than the same, redder than the youngest blood and thicker than the oldest? That is from a goslikenar rather than being an adage.¡±


    ¡°Is it as violent as it sounds? Never mind that for now. I think I should give you some boxing instruction. Oh, just for my own, um, my own something.¡±


    Dirant, at last comprehending, laughed. ¡°Ah, there is no need to be so circumspect. Please recall it was Miss Gelfid who skipped archery practice. I was simply bad at it. I punch just as badly I know, and I''m not opposed to improvement. I may even be eager to have your instruction, though I cannot presently be sure of that.¡±


    ¡°Right, of course. Whew! Ressi, they''ve left us behind. Come on!¡± She skipped ahead with Dirant behind, his thoughts divided between negotiating the unfamiliar stairs and debating whether to remind Takki who caused whom to be left behind. Since his mood at the moment did not permit him even to conceive of displeasure, he refrained.


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    A single narrow path, barely less winding than the rear trail abused by the attackers for the opposite of its intended role, permitted access to the main entrance, above which the wall rose tall and straight. From the wall-walk the defenders, had they not been subdued already, could have looked out and taken heart at the many defensive positions artifice had provided them and how well they were manned by small squads of fairies commanded by the remaining brigands. Aside from towers and archery platforms hidden by leaves, crews were ready to wheel fearsome engines out from their pseudo-caves which were sure to surprise any frontal assault. Altogether the number of robbers unaware of the events crucial to their prospects which had transpired behind them nearly matched that already vanquished. Had they been present in the fortress, they might have caused considerable distress to the Silken Gull Squad. As Auemoieu said, ¡°Gets hard to move that packed.¡±


    The path''s twists notwithstanding, the fortress directly faced the plain on which Gelfid had assembled a sliver of Ydridd''s forces. ¡°Twenty, twenty-five, thirty, thirty-five . . .¡± Doltandon made his count audibly so as to assure his new business associates he was doing something and not because he had any trouble with the calculations. He completed them quicker than anyone else in fact. ¡°The part of the army our charming Miss Gelfid brought with her, ladies and gentlemen, is actually the whole of it. Hello!¡±


    For all that an army coming up the road would have a long and difficult journey, the direct distance between the two might have been less than the length of the fortress. Doltandon, shouting, assured his loyal followers of his rescue while Skadlif, shouting and holding Ksori over the side like a soggy blanket, convinced the unsubdued bandits that among all the possible actions a person might take, the circumstances compelled them to choose one of two, either surrender or flight. Most condottieri preferred their opponents opt for the latter except when their contracts specified otherwise; Skadlif explained such in explicit terms for listeners unfamiliar with typical mercenary captain practices.


    Not even a Picker could determine which of the two efforts succeeded more completely, since the evaporation of Ksori''s remaining force could be measured in number of seconds elapsed while the attachment of Ydridd''s former army to Doltandon was expressed in less discrete units such as the jubilation the soldiers felt at his appearance and the flood of tears they produced. The scene resembled the debut of a goslikenar belonging to one of those genres such that the producer considers it a failure if nobody in the audience faints.


    The joy of Doltandon''s fairies and recruits doubled when he skidded down the trail to join them, tripled when he introduced the host to his fellow sufferers along with their intrepid rescuers, and reached a multiple only recognized mathematicians dared name when he proposed marching on the lake district that very day, unseating Queen Ydridd, and ransacking her inexplicable treasury.


    ¡°I proposed a slightly different plan before,¡± he admitted to Skadlif. ¡°The inestimable Miss Gelfid exceeded my expectations, and how can I do otherwise but adjust my ambitions accordingly? I hesitate to suggest you do the same.¡± Seeing Skadlif''s impassive expression, he decided to elaborate. ¡°The castle is full of spoils. Just unbelievably stuffed. Mr. Dirant will tell you.¡±


    Mr. Dirant did tell him. ¡°It is true, though the usual cautions in regard to fairy items must pertain. In addition, the most impressive attractions of the castle are not removable without the aid of several hundred laborers and a few spare months.¡±


    The commander called for a conference of the Silken Gull Squad wherein the members adopted by universal agreement the attitude that they could bear to take a look at least. If making use of fairy transportation, for one among them to deposit the freed captives in Ividottlof and receive official recognition of such from the deputy mayor was a matter of no more moment than returning a book to the library.


    ¡°I have to convert the Battle of the Bandit King into a song right now,¡± objected Wiuyo, who had appeared as agreed.


    ¡°Another battle will follow in all likelihood.¡± Reassured by Skadlif, she, he, and the prisoners disappeared.


    The mercenaries marched beside the army, which maintained better order than Dirant had ever seen in any formation which consisted of at least a third fairies. The soldier whose behavior comported the least with discipline was shockingly a human, the second-in command in fact, whose intense sobbing detracted from her marching technique.


    ¡°That a significant share of the spoils descends on her seems only just,¡± Dirant mused, ¡°though that is not the sole reason I don''t believe it will.¡±


    ¡°I agree with you, Ressi. We can''t depend on the old fairy stories to be accurate about items that suddenly vanish, I know that, but if somebody ever got to preserve a magnificent fairy treasure, it would have shown up somewhere. Governments have tax and fines records, families have budgets, and there''s no motive for concealment. They would have bragged about it. I''ll brag about it if this goes well.¡±


    Half the mercenaries concurred readily with Takki''s analysis while the other half concurred reluctantly. ¡°A dream is not easily undreamt,¡± a Reciter declaimed with wistfulness impossible for any but the heartless not to share, and only the wealthiest of the heartless at that.


    The procession had barely cleared the borderlands and broken into the fertile lake district, every participant imagining the castle inside its unwaterlike lake already subjected to their depredations, when it halted upon meeting a party headed the other way. An exceedingly large party which in fairyland must be considered an army.

 48. Upwards And Downwards, Hey Hilly Hoi

    ¡°We found the castle undefended,¡± Medant was explaining in the manner of a man who wakes up to the spring sun knowing his bills are paid while the two armies waited for Mr. Atkosol to arrive. ¡°Reality exceeded optimism for once. Mrs. Atkosol was installed there without incident. The goods are being removed for examination before this district becomes a series of parks. I am unsure what use there is for so much city, but something will be found. We might practice street battles here.¡±


    Some initially had been surprised. ¡°How did you know the army would be withdrawn?¡± Gelfid wondered.


    ¡°Pardon me, but was that supposed to be a secret?¡± Medant spoke with genuine doubt.


    ¡°Ah.¡± Dirant meant that interjection as the start of a response before realizing he was as confused as anyone. After consulting himself he concluded, ¡°In reflection, we never bade anyone be silent about those specifics of the operation, and further there was no need for them to be. I divulged nothing outside of the participants as a matter of habit.¡±


    ¡°Just the same for me, Mr. Dirant,¡± Skadlif said.


    ¡°I talked about it without restraint, so I''m happy to hear I shouldn''t have not done that,¡± Takki said. Most of the mercenaries agreed with her position, some adding they had laid out every point down to the signal Miss Gelfid was to use by way of boasting to their peers about having gotten in on it.


    Questions of secrecy aside, the public matter of Ydridd''s final stand required more description in Wiuyo''s opinion. ¡°With instruments we change our vaguest impulses into distinct auditory impressions. I''m not going too far when I say that music makes events real, and that means it hasn''t happened until somebody writes a song about it. Let us together, Headbanded Medant, overcome the proud queen here and now.¡±


    ¡°The troops charged and she surrendered. It was a proud moment. Headbanded Medant?¡±


    ¡°I cannot recommend permitting that nickname to reach the reporters. You will be unable to dislodge it.¡± Skadlif''s solemn warning converted the matter into something serious, and Medant was begging Wiuyo to drop the epithet, a request she refused for metrical reasons, or else to refer to him only obliquely since after all it was the fighters below him who deserved the credit when Mr. Atkosol arrived.


    Decisiveness. That was the spirit of the day, and in line with it Atkosol swiftly settled on numbers which satisfied Doltandon and Skadlif both in order to augment his own numbers of a different type altogether. That done, he addressed his general. ¡°And now?¡± That was all he said, but such perfect understanding had arisen between them that Guard-Captain Medant understood.


    ¡°I see no obstacle to marching on Ishtu forthwith.¡±


    Neither did anyone else whose opinion had any possibility of reaching Atkosol Tellanstal. The combined army was unquestionably the mightiest force in fairyland. Furthermore, a good portion of it was not subject to prosecution in the state of Enpasatosalkir on account of being fairies, a marked advantage in circumventing irksome governmental restrictions. Mr. Hwohyesu had brought most of the humans with him when he defected, but only most.


    Despite the admirable rapidity Medant achieved, when the column of over four hundred soldiers left the lake district, an invincible horde by local standards, those who looked behind observed the grass-carpeted hills already were giving way to a racetrack surrounded by stands where the city''s highest and lowest alike might display their finery while the least judicious competed in losing as much of their means as could be managed. Lommad kept the castle though.


    The mountain district was also transformed from what anyone who visited on a diplomatic tour remembered, but in the opposite direction. The mountain had become more mountainous, the slopes more sloped, and the paths more walled and gated. That last was not a natural property of mountains but was nevertheless true. Astronomical enthusiasts noted the stars had shifted to match better the real world''s nocturnal scenery, and for the first time Atkosol regretted not bringing along the superb telescope he had been given by a friend.


    Of course Medant in his commanding role had not accepted Ishtu''s preparations as a curious item in an article, a topic to bring up at dinner when conversation flagged but nothing relevant to him. Instead he, like a conscientious contractor, had procured materials for more siege engines than the two catapults employed against Jiojjil along with engineers to oversee their construction. Those did not include Taomenk Genarostaf, who often grumbled as he went about his work that he suspected he alone in camp remembered the purpose for which Mr. Atkosol had established it, an accusation which every listener understood to be true.


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    Specialists and trained thinboots set about putting together siege towers capable of delivering detachments to ledges full of defenders in addition to armored wagons which provided the same service for lower elevations. The canopied rams came under criticism for an absence of ornament, but Medant insisted on them regardless.


    Fairy magic and a defensive position described the advantages of one side, while the other benefited from classes, experience, mankind''s limitless capacity for invention in warfare, and morale which was at such an apogee as could not be approached using the tallest siege tower perched on a spire in Dittsen. Conviction that within the day the issue would be decided of who was to rule fairyland, and further that the results would be as Ishtu did not desire, pervaded every soldier, officer, and specialist. Wherever the participant on Lommad''s side turned, he saw evidence of imminent good fortune.


    For Medant Denmarof, the combination of his army unprecedented in its size and prowess, his employer, and reporters who contrived to show up despite his efforts to prevent it assured him an enhanced martial reputation. Atkosol Tellanstal contemplated the potential of Ertith Energy, what experiments he might conduct regarding it, and what might be a better term. Doltandon Yurvitas imagined himself in the middle of writing the bestselling account of his experiences, the royalties for which would release him forever from the tedious assignment of berating manual laborers for excessive laziness. He was observed by Dirant Rikelta, who looked forward to telling Mr. Taomenk and Mr. Aptezor about the events in Ksori''s hideout. Hundreds saw superimposed over the scene their bonuses for military service while dreaming how they would spend them. Not a single person was less than excited. Most verged on the ecstatic.


    The troops of their own volition began to sing a cheerful war song, all the more festive because each participant invented his own lyrics and tune. The raucous performance brought appreciative fairies to the fortifications, though what they appreciated eluded music lovers, and Ishtu himself came to stand atop a cliff which overhung the winding path. A peasant who wandered into his enchanted abode would have succumbed to terror at finding a fairy king nearby unless he belonged to the clever kind which escaped every danger by answering a riddle or promising his firstborn (and muttering ¡°calf¡± after). The host below however expected the great lord to be reduced to vagrancy momentarily and sang yet louder than before.


    Mr. Atkosol was far too prominent socially to be seen ordering his subordinates to direct uncouth gestures toward a king, and for that reason if no other he called for the banner of parley to be planted instead. The few humans who remained in Ishtu''s entourage, three precisely, explained the significance to their sovereign, who was far too reclusive socially to keep up with trends. He in response yelled down, or rather spoke normally while using magic to make himself audible, ¡°You''re close enough to talk there.¡±


    ¡°Did you address me?¡± Atkosol yelled back in a more standard fashion.


    ¡°What did you say?¡±


    ¡°Just now, were you . . . Bring them to silence.¡± That last order he directed to his guard-captain and subsequently repeated twice, louder each time. Even after he succeeded, the tumult did not subside until Doltandon Yurvitas justified the terms of his employment by applying his Subjugator abilities to the problem. With that done, Atkosol began the actual conference.


    ¡°I repeat my proposal. Jiojjil, Zatdil Akavinnux Scaurrdex Ikakach, and Ydridd refused too and have been forced to yield. Ava accepted and has her liberty. Is this evidence in favor of reconsidering your stance?¡±


    ¡°That''s all of them but me.¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°They''re all gone or imprisoned.¡±


    ¡°Correct.¡±


    Ishtu nodded. ¡°That makes me Hacanthu. Pleasurable to hear. No more of this then.¡± Saying nothing more than that, he dropped from the height he had occupied, which began to dissolve behind him into the flat brown stuff of the borderlands. Instantly fairies tumbled off battlements and started up some chaotic singing and wild cheers of their own in praise of the new Hacanthu. No longer were they defenders but rather loiterers, and such was the sudden role of the erstwhile attackers as well, but with no one to shoo them off the property until Lommad came for her inspection. Not that she did eject them for all that they ignored her warnings they might wish to save some of their enthusiasm for a more formal party. By then, those present reasoned, many would be too occupied with their normal duties to participate in a spontaneous boxing tournament, to say nothing of the long jump and trivia, activities in which humans and fairies participated without regard for previous divisions.


    The celebration held in Fairy City, likely the final name due its timeless descriptiveness, strove to compensate with grandeur for what it lacked in spontaneity compared to the impromptu festival which followed Hacanthu''s proclamation. Finding grandeur undersupplied because of the remote location, it relied on scale to make up the difference. Not everyone received an invitation but all were invited nevertheless, from the loftiest Atkosol to the lowliest Ividottlofer, a fellow named Ratsazemol Golshkemen who had accomplished nothing worthy of praise, and while he might be excused for that on the grounds of being twelve, none of the locals expected better from him in the years to come. Even the strongest fairies attended, though not Ava or Hacanthu, both departed by then.

 49. Undertaking A Comprehensive Lyrical Journey

    When Compared With A Shipboard Journey, The Advantages Are Evident, And Even Overland Travel Is Often Impractical


    Despite the breadth of invitation, the scale of the celebration did not reach such a great magnitude as to awe those who read accounts of it later. The entire assemblage could have squeezed itself into the Turtle Palace alone, Lommad''s favorite building among her creations. The Turtle Palace existed to house, not a king or potentate, but her architectural fancy. Wide travel with her husband had expanded her knowledge and narrowed her taste, and as a result Lommad thoroughly understood what she liked.


    The result was an edifice unlike any in Egillen. ¡°Where architects fail today is in neglecting the dome,¡± she said once when asked about the aesthetic sensibilities which informed her decisions. She did not repeat their mistake. No mansion in Yean Defiafi boasted such a grand dome; rather, boasting about something which took up so much space would have been considered rude. Arches of staggering size supported a mass of what appeared bronze on the outside but to the people underneath presented a bewildering composition rendered in every conceivable color of rectangles, rhombuses, triangles, and trapezoids, not to exclude other shapes, which led the eye around in spirals only to eject it toward the rim again impishly. Responses varied. Many looked upward only to turn away in haste, rubbing their eyes and muttering disgruntled expressions. Some, in their attempts to comprehend the patterns, twirled as if performing the Lunar Step until they became dizzy or fell over. A significant minority withdrew after complaining of nausea. Takki thought it was nice.


    ¡°Mr. and Mrs. Atkosol had to have visited us, don''t you think? Pavvu Omme Os I mean. I really think it made an impression on Mrs. Atkosol.¡±


    ¡°The evidence points to it. Ah, hello, Mr. Nalfenk.¡±


    ¡°Miss Takki. Mr. Dirant. Is that unusual design up above us an example of northern taste, are you saying?¡± Nalfenk, Dirant, and Takki were all three wearing their best available, which under the circumstances was the same as always with an extra bracelet and the application of a brush. All the residents of Ividottlof who had ever scrubbed a shirt had ended up turning away customers desperate to get some cleaning in as if they were Shtaugirs, who was also present.


    ¡°That is so. Look lower for another example.¡± By way of demonstration Dirant nodded toward Takki''s headscarf, which contained many of the same elements as the ceiling though on a humbler scale. Perhaps he behaved presumptuously in doing so before she pointed at it herself, but since she did eventually, he escaped censure.


    Mr. Nalfenk did as instructed. ¡°Ah, the similarities are evident now that you have brought my attention to them. My understanding of your excellent land has been myopically focused on its scientific output.¡±


    ¡°That is the most important part, Mr. Nalfenk,¡± Takki assured him.


    Congenial encounters such as that occurred throughout and around the Palace. Attendees inclined to unseemly excess failed to make it that far; most of the people present had stepped over one or two slumbering lumps in the middle of the street on the way there. Accordingly the nearest thing to rowdiness came when Wiuyo, moved beyond words at the opportunity to attend a banquet not unlike those which featured in many a song or epic poem of the kind which frequently ended in a blood feud declared her intention to recite in their entirety the ballads she knew which dealt with the humans from whom the five strongest underground fairies took their names prior to recent events.


    It seemed that a scholarly triumph was to follow the martial one. Hwohyesus and Odibinks who had at last come to accept the impossibility of a fairy ever divulging anything useful promised outrageous markups to anyone who supplied them with writing implements, and no hour of a stenographer''s time would ever be rewarded more than that one. The less profligate, the Dirants, the Silapobants, the Onhavants, and people not employed by Stadeskosken also, worked their way closer to the bard, relying on their memories and the work of others to commit the occasion to history. Veteran reporters applied career-won lessons to sidle, shove, and slide themselves to the front.


    The front as defined by this arrangement was an arc in front of a table on which Wiuyo had chosen to perform. It was a considerate choice, since the audience members unused to genuine fairy bard song would have dragged themselves through a screen of poisonous plants, skipped across the backs of bears lined up, or dashed over a lake they did not yet know to be solid in their fervor to get closer as soon she began. Once she did, the reporters foresaw hours of searching for synonyms for ¡°marvelous¡± just as they had ¡°savage¡± earlier.


    The composers of the lays Wiuyo revived from antiquity had allotted regrettably few verses to academic fixations such as exact locations, technology, social organization, the specifics of governance, imports and exports, and what legal defenses were allowed against accusations aside from duels, or whether duels had rules of conduct for that matter. The ancient composers went so far as to presume nobody need be told vulgar facts such as the tribes to which Jiojjil or any of his friends and enemies belonged. They did address of course how far he traveled (farther than any man before or since) and how big was the boar he slew (bigger than any ever born, for this one formed itself out of the stuff which existed before the world), topics of the highest relevance to the story, but not a single point historians wished to know except for the occasional mention of bronze equipment.


    If the Jiojjil cycle offered the past-minded nothing but dregs, Ishtu''s tales filled the bowl with spit. He was a peasant who embarked on a series of improbable adventures which, unlike many local folktales, did not purport to explain how a particular rock ended up where it did or why the apples are an unusual color there. Though literary interpretation always was contested even when dealing with an ongoing serial, many gained confidence with each line that listeners millennia ago had not believed the events described had in fact occurred, nor was it intended that they should. While academics interested in the question of the universality of fiction would devour the transcripts, the enthusiasts present wanted to hear about Ertith first, related history second, unrelated history third, and fiction not at all.


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    The legend of Ydridd mollified them. Learning that the original Ydridd was an Ertithan queen renowned for her beauty gave them three immediate pieces of information subject to multiplication through analysis. First, Ydridd was a sure, unambiguous example of an Ertithan name; the chiselers responsible for the surviving inscriptions had neglected to indicate which words indicated people, which places, and which the god to whose beneficence the relevant blessing was ascribed. Second, it was a name appropriate for someone of high station; the royalty of the time evidently contented themselves with a single word rather than a chain of titles, places, branches, and grandfathers. Third, Ertithans had queens and presumably kings, or at least some did at some times; certain theories that only the degraded later peoples submitted to monarchical forms of government dissolved on the spot, not that they had ever been popular. That ballad expanded knowledge even if it said nothing more aside from the particulars of Ydridd''s court and person.


    ¡°Although.¡± Odibink commenced the discussion during an instrumental portion which Wiuyo announced had been inserted by a later composer for the purpose in modern times fulfilled by an intermission.


    Gabdirn, the human one, groaned. ¡°I have no love for that word. But I have an objection and possibly the same one.¡±


    ¡°It had something of the, oh, the speculative about it, did it not? The fanciful no less. We may have just heard an Ertithan legend of olden times, olden from their perspective, doubly ancient in fact.¡±


    ¡°We may have done,¡± Gabdirn agreed. ¡°Not an Ertithan legend at all. A later people probably did it.¡± For all his sudden reputation as the greatest Heweker hero of the modern day, he retained his habitual interests.


    ¡°Now, no, now you must acknowledge the style¡ª¡° Further discussion, let alone the argument Odibink was starting, was cut off when Wiuyo resumed the meaningful part.


    The distinguishing facet of Ava''s story was the involvement of the fairy queen herself. The two Avas were contemporaneous, something not confirmed in song with regard to the others, though the fairy Gabdirn had presented independent testimony of his own relationship with his former namesake. As to the specifics of that period as well as the country, the narrative surpassed the previous three as far as their total absence. In brief, a painter named Ava, born of unnamed parents in an unnamed town (or city, or village, or mountain shack) painted a fairy queen''s portrait. She worked so skillfully that the queen promised her any boon she wished. The painter, entranced by her subject, begged to change place with her for a year, and so they exchanged their names and residences. At the end of the agreed time, the fairy, now Ava, allowed the human to keep her old name, which the song did not care to mention.


    ¡°That one is the most promising for a modern adaptation,¡± Silapobant remarked during another instrumental break. ¡°Has our publishing wing had a success yet?¡±


    ¡°Silone convinced me I am entirely unaware of what is truly popular,¡± Dirant said. ¡°He knows it too, and therefore you may include when you write him my opinion that there is no appeal in this story.¡±


    ¡°Is that your true opinion, or?¡±


    ¡°It is.¡±


    ¡°Another shortcoming to fix then.¡±


    The last set of lays, unless the crowd could prevail upon Wiuyo to expand her program to include Wiuyo, Ksori, Erjjub, Gyund, Tadto, Iyu Voda, and other persons implied by known fairies, dealt with Zatdil. ¡°This may go on for a bit,¡± the bard warned. ¡°Are you ready?¡±


    The crowd allowed that it was. She frowned, unused to Adaban audiences and therefore expecting a more vigorous reaction, but her performance lost none of its verve for that, her lack of a visible Verve stat notwithstanding. The contents astonished her listeners. She related in rousing terms battles of thousands against hundreds in which the thousands considered themselves outmatched, for no human save Hacanthu ever matched the strength of an elite verang. She told of the magical pillars which the Omega Masters sank in the earth to draw out the world''s circulating energy and how they subsequently apportioned it to their subordinates with a grim hand. The Omega Preservers, Radiators, and Despoilers directly beneath them were few in number but nearly infinite in strength, while the more numerous Fighters, Raiders, and Drudges surpassed most humans in might.


    Some blamed the gods for the calamity and, rejecting them, created their own. Wiuyo avoided details about that to concentrate on people who considered themselves impious if they did not meet the challenge by cultivating their divinely granted abilities. After Hacanthu vindicated that approach by slaying an Omega Master, increasing skill and numerical superiority began to tell against the verangs until all were destroyed save for the Omega Despoilers, invincible in battle. The Ertithans founded an entire city simply to study methods to subdue Omega Despoiler Zatdil, who because of their ingenuity was deceived and imprisoned for all eternity on a spot which would forever remain barren because of the scorching influence of his extraordinary power.


    Between songs, Wiuyo made an aside which confirmed what her audience had already concluded. ¡°Then a cow threw up all over his prison. How fleeting is dignity. Once notes pass through the air, it never reverts. Is the heart the same?¡±


    Sophisticates who expected remarks of that sort to be relevant to the upcoming musical piece, a custom followed in Chtrebliseu, were reminded Wiuyo had never been to that kingdom. The next song was a treatment of the Zatdil matter which neither reflected the themes they inferred from the introduction nor added detail to the events related in the previous account. Indeed, it mostly recapitulated them, answering none of the audience''s questions except those on the topic of whether bald copying was a recent innovation in the entertainment industry.


    ¡°The ballad claims Zatdil the Omega Despoiler was trapped eternally at Cowsick Point. Where then is he? We have seen no superior creature.¡±


    Wiuyo, perceiving the crowd''s commentary as a criticism of the lyrics, addressed it. ¡°Song-writing isn''t just art. It''s craft. ''Eternal'' and ''eternity'' fit in a line better in their language than ''for a time longer than the next five years.'' That isn''t a bad line by itself though. Now hush up because that wasn''t the last verse.¡±


    ¡°Pardon us.¡±

 50. On The Complexities Of Menace

    ¡°Threat¡± In Some Cases May Profitably Be Disentangled From ¡°Action¡±


    Her response would be sent on to linguists to torture however they wished. Experts in other fields or none at all concentrated on the remaining verses, which included a curious claim about verangs. ¡°What was meant by ''inhuman status impossible to read,'' if I recall the line correctly?¡± an audience member asked after the finale.


    ¡°Yes, and did I not notice the same thing? All status is legible.¡±


    ¡°Have you not read the articles on fairies and their status?¡±


    ¡°It reads ''Fairy'' and nothing else, but nevertheless it reads.¡±


    Confronted by a puzzling circumstance which contradicted the universal understanding, some questioned the understanding while others dismissed the circumstance. Perhaps poetic exaggerations, distortions, and outright falsehoods were also not a recent invention. One wag proposed the true test. ¡°Why, it is possible even to read the status of a Jingen, and not a single person alive comprehends Jingenna!¡±


    Of course it was the presence of Shtaugirs which suggested the idea, but none pressed the joke so far as to request he display his status as proof of the point. He did not wait for anyone to do so. ¡°Yeah? You are right, no one fully grasps Jingenna. It is so full of fine expression. I wonder even if you fully will get what my status is telling you.¡±


    <blockquote>


    Unlikely to Be a Warm Body


    xxxxxxxx


    LV 27 or so, and let us say 500/1000


    HP 500 approximately


    Muscle - Lifting samplers is no hard task


    Coordination - Enough for a business owner


    Verve - To judge from his phlegmatic temperament, not high


    Sticktoitiveness - He has assuredly kept at his craft


    Discernment - Certainly his taste is admired


    Gumption - Enough to form his own business


    Tit-for-Tat - His customers have not complained of a deficiency


    Receptivity - There is no telling


    Panache - None in evidence


    Class Abilities


    Unquestionably there are some


    General Abilities


    Confection Creation (Advanced)


    Sampler Creation (Advanced)


    Mercantile Fundamentals


    Mercantile Sophistication


    </blockquote>


    Doubtless something of the sort was what the typical partygoer read since no one yelped, recoiled, or stood transfixed, no longer aware of anything beyond the letters suspended in the air next to the unprepossessing confectionery salesman and unable to persuade his eyes to blink, his throat to swallow, or his lungs to breathe because he felt swaddled so tightly in the wrappings of terror that any effort to prolong life appeared risible in its futility. That was the guess of Dirant Rikelta who, because he possessed the general ability Class Perception (Divine), saw a slightly different version of Shtaugirs''s status.


    <blockquote>


    Omega Despoiler


    RK: Exemplar


    HP: 34,700


    Body Power: H=


    Guts Power: I''k


    Brain Power: E+u


    Mind Power: C!u+x


    Willpower: C+u


    </blockquote>


    The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.


    ¡°For reasons of safety if there are no, and there are, others, I, an authority in this and everything else compared to you, every human, every fairy, and every last verang, recommend, a term friendlier than many I am entitled to use, that you look away.¡±


    In response to that enigmatic and tangled utterance, Dirant said nothing. He could not. With all his (Receptivity-replaced) Gumption and Verve he roused himself just enough to think, ¡°I desire intensely to do exactly that but discover myself to be incapable of it.¡± Evidently his unspoken plea fulfilled the requirements of prayer, for straightaway two hands reached out and jerked Dirant''s head to face the side, whereupon he regained all his faculties including the one which ran his insides through a printing press to declare a god was among them.


    ¡°To you, ceaselessly subtle Holzd, is owed every consideration,¡± Dirant began a more formal if still silent prayer, but another consideration interrupted despite his recent claim. Then again, much that is owed is not paid.


    ¡°Ressi, are you feeling all right?¡± If any occasion allowed emotional displays to pass without comment, it was a party thrown to celebrate the ascension of a single uncontested fairy queen after a fierce though undignified war in which most present participated, and yet inordinately eccentric behavior might nevertheless cause worry.


    Dirant was relieved to find himself able to allay Takki''s concerns both honestly and vocally, the latter a condition he had been unable to fulfill only a few seconds earlier. ¡°Ah, these revelations startle me increasingly the more I contemplate them, and I cannot remain impassive.¡±


    ¡°I couldn''t agree with you more. It''s exciting, isn''t it? I know this won''t work, but I''ll try convincing Wiuyo to sing about Wiuyo.¡± Takki navigated around the Shtaugirs cluster toward the table where Wiuyo was restringing her guitar (whether out of need or showmanship was unclear), leaving Dirant with fellow guest Holzd the god of complexity to whom Ritualists prayed when they performed their rituals, most of them unknowingly.


    The god was dressed for the occasion in that he had passed a purple feather through a buttonhole in his vest. The vest persisted in its outrageous behavior of changing color in the manner of streams running from dye cauldrons in use by overly enthusiastic Colorists, but it was a party after all. Holzd''s eyes, like revolving coins yet to be stamped with the likeness of So-and-so XVIII, glinted more metallically than usual, and the gap which stood in for a mouth formed a smile-like arrangement appropriate for a jovial occasion. Dirant wondered if there was a relationship between that mouth and the underside of the guest world, but not enough to ask.


    ¡°Oh, Holzd the Much-Meandering, do you accept my gratitude, or if you do not, accept rather my veneration, or if you do not, permit my offer of it to be remembered.¡± Unwilling to disturb the other guests in their revels, Dirant did not say any of that aloud. Such reticence may have been judged an impiety by a disinterested theologian, but he had gotten away with it so far.


    Holzd did speak, though accounting for his divine power which allowed his utterances to be heard by none but those he wished to hear, he was just as halfhearted in the matter. ¡°I do, and therefore, anticipating your reaction, for effects must wait upon their causes while I am not so constrained, I acted in expectation of your plea to prevent what you yourself wished to avoid, for all that the consequences are unlikely, in the counterfactual case they ensue, to be serious. You may now behold without ill effect barring envy he who is Shtaugirs insofar as changes of names can be, as they typically are in the customs of the Adabans, permissible, and insofar as they are not, Zatdil Akavinnux=Scaurrdex Ikakach.¡±


    As prepared as Dirant had been to hear that after viewing Shtaugirs''s inhuman status impossible to read, details of the name shocked him. What did ¡°=¡± signify in a name, and how did Holzd pronounce it so that he understood it to be such? The knack certainly eluded the fairy Zatdil.


    ¡°It is an element of verang speech and consequently purposeless for you to learn,¡± Holzd reassured his priest without waiting for a formal question. Simultaneously he addressed Dirant''s other worry, that of appearing insane, by poking his finger in a direction they might withdraw for privacy amid the hubbub. ¡°''Worthless for you to learn'' is a fair summary for everything I am about to tell you, but hearing it will shift your attention, properly, away from matters which, while related, cannot to the dissolution of the tangle into which you have pleasingly tripped contribute. Zatdil is not a threat, and it is volition behind that, the absence of it, because if he took offense at a Ritualist''s impudent stare he could kill, not a god, but everyone else inside this fay construction. To greater society he is regardless of his intentions more of an irritation if noticed, for after slaying ten thousand modern warriors, the ten-thousand-first would kill him.¡±


    ¡°Holy Holzd, your priest must not dispute with you.¡±


    ¡°I bid you do so.¡±


    Dirant peeked at Shtaugirs before he asked, ¡°Is he aware of the futility of aggression? Was he not foolish enough to be captured?¡±


    ¡°He was desperate enough. Deprived of an Omega Master, how do you propose he should have acquired the Alpha Energy, without which he was helpless against the high levels of the era? He required a degree of physical understanding unknown today to be deceived by the Foundation Energy drawn forth from its storage by the Miraculous Pillar after we the gods stowed it, the prototype of this planet completed, in a remote place. The device''s name is insignificant, for the Ertithans, based on theological conclusions, regarded correctly all magic as miraculous. Zatdil understands, though not how it was made, that he fell into a trap to which, this next is from your perspective, it is too late to return him were it possible. The better course is to submit to his present plan of being ignored, and of long standing as well, while he perfects his craft, innocent if we disregard the tragedies suffered by those who fail to achieve a place on the list and humorous if we act to the contrary. That should allay your, wanting zealousness as it is, anxiety at the potential of being issued a command to deal with him.¡±


    Dirant struggled to think of a response which would communicate pious sentiments without further implying a desire to assume supererogatory responsibilities such as that just mentioned. He hoped rephrasing a question in as convoluted a fashion as he could manage without a week to prepare would work. ¡°As for the trap, accepting that he is for some reason released is simple enough, but there is an implication, or else a misapprehension on my part, in the phrasing of its resumption as ''too late'' rather than ''impossible'' or ''unnecessary,'' is there not?¡±


    ¡°Your god rejoices that you dedicated your ears so assiduously to his words.¡± Holzd said that, clapped once, and vanished. Then he reappeared. ¡°My absence, to my Ritualists tolerable because brief, I effected in order to express, tacitly, my permission to shift your attention from me before it is demanded. Use that short interval respectably.¡±


    Accepting that as a dismissal, Dirant checked if anyone was looking at him, swallowed his disappointment to find in the negative, bowed, and returned to the more active portions of the Palace in time for a brief speech from Mr. Atkosol in which he thanked everyone who came for coming and praised those who did not for demonstrating commendable dedication to their various occupations and hobbies. He joined the crowd in its impatience regarding the excavation delays but promised the pace would accelerate with the effort no longer hampered by the entertaining impediments of late.


    ¡°What excavation?¡± someone asked after the speech finished, and in complete sincerity.

 51. On The Complexities Of Action

    If ¡°Activity¡± May Be Disentangled From ¡°Effectiveness,¡± It Invariably Shall Become So


    The days to come changed nothing about Dirant''s professional responsibilities, but his personal schedule altered considerably. ¡°Medant is found and enjoying the remainder of his vacation. The tourists and townsfolk are all at liberty to the extent they previously were, and many from both populations have made use of it to depart. ''All those matters which occupied and enriched me are settled, contentment is declared emperor by acclamation, and I am desolate.'' I thought that to be an unreasonable passage when the school forced me to read it, and nothing has happened to change my mind. Leisure is not only endurable but desirable. Even so, the rapid change from one condition to the other is unsettling.¡±


    ¡°I know myself that it is, but soon you will become so accustomed to the sedate life that returning to the empty frenzy of Fennizen will seem a sentence of exile to you,¡± Siltwo prophesied. Dirant had repaired to Ividottlof again, his sole remaining refuge from the Preservation Ritual and the revocation thereof, and dropped by Silapobant''s home with a gift of a model of a double ziggurat in the Ava style wrought in wood by famed engineer Taomenk Genarostaf. In addition to his paid work, Taomenk had been staying up into the morning working out proposals to construct such an edifice, and the many models he fabricated were filling up his cabin until Dirant offered to hand them out as curious vases, pen holders, and coin banks.


    Later that day he gave one to Takki, who might have been expected to suffer the torments of inactivity far more than people who had not been lured there by signs of adventure. ¡°I do miss the rescue missions,¡± she told him on their quest to gaze at an exceptionally ugly tree she had found while searching for brigands and Medants. ¡°If you can do something rewarding within your competence that doesn''t take much time and is unquestionably moral and you refuse, you might already be dead, and ghosts don''t exist.¡±


    ¡°The same was believed of fairies.¡±


    ¡°That''s different.¡± Takki adopted the tone of an accountant explaining to a client the difference between credit and debit. ¡°We knew fairies used to exist. We came across a secluded enclave of them, that''s all. It''s a wonderful surprise, but nothing like proving ghosts are real.¡±


    ¡°Mrs. Atkosol does not belong to that enclave.¡±


    ¡°There are exceptions to everything, Ressi. Also.¡± Takki paused to ensure no one on the hill could overhear them barring squirrels and chatty, self-absorbed birds. ¡°If every fairy were in Mrs. Atkosol''s position, in possession of a class I mean, what would be the practical distinction? If someone who has Adaban grandparents and Obenec great-grandparents pays her fees, she''s a Jalpi Peffu in every non-academic sense. Mrs. Atkosol''s situation isn''t the same, but maybe we aren''t crazy if we say it isn''t completely incomparable. Or to lie back down, a house isn''t haunted if the ghost doesn''t cause trouble.¡±


    Dirant refrained from mentioning that the Adaban grandparents were in fact Mabonns, first because correcting someone with regard to her own family tree reeked of presumption regardless of accuracy, and second because he was unsure Takki realized she had just used herself as an example. She may have simply seized on the first hypothetical which came to mind, particularly given her use of the plural. ¡°Conceiving of Mrs. Atkosol playing the part of a fairy queen according to the typical depiction is a considerable challenge it is true, while Jiojjil fits in the equivalent role more like the circular block fits in the circular hole in your youngest brother''s playset. Even so, Mrs. Atkosol may have unusual abilities applicable outside fairyland for all that she has not to my knowledge employed any, and it is possible other fairies are less restrained in their use. The finest debaters of Pavvu Omme Os may be fairies. Ah, that tree is remarkably ugly, and if it is not the one you mentioned before, we must introduce the two. They will surely establish a friendship of equals.¡±


    ¡°That''s the one, but now you''ve made me sad it won''t ever find a boon companion. I wonder if Iflarent did any silviculture. Look at the extreme curve of the trunk. Are we sure that isn''t an artificial phenomenon?¡±


    ¡°In this state, even sick cows are afflicted by ancient inventions rather than the usual causes, or so I presume from the story. We will discover the sun seen from here is in reality a giant Ertithan lamp which obscures the genuine thing.¡±


    The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°We can investigate that, too. That calls for a lot of hiking, but the exercise will help you be less jittery.¡± Seeing Dirant''s surprise, Takki put a hand to her scarf. ¡°Oh! Was I not supposed to mention that? Are Adabans sensitive about being jittery, or is it just you?¡±


    ¡°Ah, no, rather I was unaware I was jittery. Reconciling myself to my reduced schedule is perhaps more of an effort than I believed. Furthermore . . . but no. You will believe you are being humored should I continue.¡±


    ¡°I promise I won''t.¡±


    ¡°An authority I trust for reasons related to my class abilities intimated some trouble may be imminent, and the very vagueness of the warning disturbs my equanimity.¡±


    ¡°And I know how highly you value your equanimity, Ressi. We all do. I can prolong my stay a little if you think that would help stabilize it. We should examine Cowsick Point in case the artificial sun has its headquarters there.¡±


    Cowsick Point presented an aspect much changed from before. Instead of a barren stretch of ground which might have been picked over by inferno sheep if such an animal existed, it had become strips of single materials, a sight disbelieved by the normal traveler and unwelcome to one qualified to contribute to a gazetteer on the guest world. There was a single difference between the two scenes, which was the odd purple tint which covered the landscape like a sheath. As startling as the transformation was, traditionalists had the consolation that the commemorative marker remained.


    Takki approached the edge of the affected area, knelt, examined the line where the new met the old, and looked across toward the marker, thoughtfully.


    Dirant objected to the thoughts he knew her to be having. ¡°Experimenting is irresponsible until we are sure this circumstance has been made widely known.¡±


    ¡°I was thinking that too, but I didn''t want to be. All right.¡± She stood and turned away from the spectacle in the manner of a Dvanjchtlivan noble who, constrained by modern laws and societal convention, has to permit another to ride away on a peerless destrier she covets merely because he happens to be the owner. ¡°I''ll inform everyone and then come back.¡±


    Takki''s return was not so prompt as that, for the report occasioned much interest, anxiety, and countless demands for repetition. Others whose time was either their own or belonged to employers who liked their reporters to leave their chairs on occasion if only to reduce furniture replacement costs went themselves to confirm the claim. Of course they did confirm it, whereupon the matter grew in the public perception to something which required the most serious consideration.


    Atkosol Tellanstal had made a career of considering things, often in public, and accordingly he declared an assembly for that evening which, if not official, was all the more attractive for that. A sense of obligation suffused governmentally mandated proceedings and discouraged the complete liberty of speech which Atkosol professed to be desirable. An unprecedented potential emergency, after all, admitted no routine response. Moreover, the affair was held in the middle of camp, a rude town square to which attendees brought their own chairs or even sat on the ground. That simplicity further encouraged participants to exercise the freedom and equality they imagined their ancestors to have. That is to say, they suffered Mr. Atkosol to take the entire management into his hands out of their respect for him and obeyed him in every respect just as if he were a chief in possession of a hill fort and they his dependents.


    Taomenk Genarostaf exploited that liberty to expound his theory at the meeting''s commencement. ¡°About guests and such I don''t know more today than when I met my dear mother, and the same for Ertith magical traps. I don''t need to. It''s clear to all that what I propose we name the Generational Dynamic was directed against that Omega Despoiler fellow, whatever that is. It kept him subdued as planned, but when he died, the loop broke. The Generational Dynamic continued to operate but casts off byproduct we should stop calling Ertith Energy, because their superior process never caused this waste. No, it did not. It''s no great problem now that we''re aware of the existence, but we might want to dispose of the Failed Generational Refuse while we go at it. The fairies probably can do that, if you can persuade them.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Mr. Taomenk. For the moment we will make inquiries aligned with that theory. We may investigate a different one later. Mrs. Atkosol, what are our options regarding the Ertith Energy?¡± Taomenk could wince all he wanted, but the choice was made.


    ¡°What is it you mean, Atkadi?¡± Lommad exploited the liberty of speech in a different fashion from Mr. Taomenk. The man who supposed she would restrict herself to ¡°Mr. Atkosol¡± or ¡°honored representative who happens to be my husband¡± in an official setting had read of her in the broadsheets only, but as most belonged to that group, blinks and startled yipes were not uncommon.


    Not from Atkosol, of course. ¡°For instance, is it possible to expend the energy faster, to solidify it for storage, or to dispose of it entirely somehow?¡±


    ¡°Ah. I will check.¡± As the crowd waited in silent impatience, Lommad hummed while tapping her cheek and rolling her eyes upward without looking at anything in particular. ¡°I''m using it up to create my city, but it is more than I can do to use it all, and stopping to experiment would, perhaps, be unwise.¡±


    ¡°Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, you can see that my wife is providing us a bulwark behind which we may huddle. It is an excellent one but as temporary as any in history. Who has a proposition to exploit this time most meritoriously?¡±

 52. Advice On Arranging The Elements Of A Home, Estate, Or Community

    Often The Space Necessary For Supplies, Ammunition, And Incendiary Materials In Case Of Defeat Is Overlooked


    Odibink Sharazilk and Gabdirn Haubentlag, the Heweker one, had both been putting their thoughts through an obstacle course in their efforts to find ways around the ideas of Mr. Taomenk, whose frequent objections to their theories they did not appreciate and whose own unpredictable, unprovable, and unsupported theories they despised. The cause of the hurdles was that regrettably they agreed with him about the day''s business.


    Accepting that, Mr. Gabdirn abandoned the project and instead appended a suggestion. ¡°The Ertithans did the trap with a guest. I do not know how, but they must have if Cowsick Point has a fake parting made over it.¡±


    ¡°Oh, but, is that something which helps us if it is true?¡± Mr. Odibink interrupted without Mr. Atkosol''s permission. He escaped censure on the basis that everyone expected that sort of behavior from him, another example of how the settled good is subjected to constant judgment while the wandering bad ranges where it will. ¡°It may. They would have had, is it not so, some special chamber for this meeting of victim and guest. Or did they set the trap to trigger automatically? Can that be done with a magical trap?¡±


    The closest Mr. Atkosol was able to find to experts in that field were Ritualists, who all agreed that such a thing could be done with rituals provided that the intended victim stepped on the design. From what they understood of the story as related by Wiuyo, the Ertithans had no way to determine the direction of Zatdil''s approach; furthermore, the trap activated miles from the city according to one couplet''s explicit declaration. A complete defense therefore would have required a ring of, at a rapid calculation, approximately thirty-five thousand ritual designs, give or take fifteen thousand. The Ritualists doubted even the Ertithans dared such an undertaking as that, but the task was not impossible. They were willing to conduct the experiment themselves if Mr. Atkosol committed himself to paying them a reasonable salary for the next three or four years. Possibly five.


    ¡°A pointed, if facetious, suggestion,¡± Atkosol responded.


    ¡°There was nothing minutely facetious about it on my side,¡± one of the Ritualists objected.


    ¡°To return to the possibility of a special chamber,¡± Atkosol continued, more interested in the Ertith angle than the job prospects for Ritualists in the present economy. Ertith ruins often included rooms which had no obvious practical purpose such as the local Statue Garden and its mysterious tremors, and if one could be proved to exist as a component of an elaborate scheme to imprison a foe too powerful to confront, perhaps an equivalently exotic function might be found for the others. Perhaps the statues did in fact depict beings other than human.


    The assembly overall embraced the romance of searching for a secret magic trap chamber, though some took on the burden of proposing alternative programs to ensure the people understood their options. The most popular of those was to view the sudden emergence of accessible iron deposits with complacency. Selling tickets followed with two supporters. Every other suggestion, from building a temple nearby in the hope that would make it the gods'' problem to severing Cowsick Point from the state of Enpasatosalkir and giving it to Chtrebliseu to handle, won not a single endorsement, that of the proposers included.


    Perceiving a consensus, Atkosol called for details of practical implementation. Taomenk addressed that too. ¡°I can start by following those pipes that start in the Statue Garden and end wherever they end. I want to find out where. I admit only the occasional segment is left, but it''s enough to begin. You''re right if you think digging straight through will take too long, and so I will hop ahead in the fairy world, check the caverns, back and forth, iterate, semi-tunnels.¡±


    The attendees derived two conclusions from his speech, first that they did not understand precisely what he meant and second that he sounded sincerely or even inspiringly confident, as expected of a man who went about with that much facial hair in contravention of contemporary fashion advice. The three next speakers concurred in the opinion that Mr. Taomenk deserved the chance to fail, whereupon Mr. Atkosol called for an immediate vote which passed the proposal with an overwhelming majority.


    Atkosol prepared to dismiss the meeting. ¡°It falls to me to make a final address. It is for each of us to determine what is best, whether to stay amid uncertain danger or depart in search of employment, also uncertain. That is for those among you on my payroll. As for those not so situated, the choice is likely similar.¡±


    The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    The assembled might have wished for a more inspiring speech from a former politician. Something about the courage of their ancestors would have been seemly if formulaic, and a declaration of brotherhood with all who remained to risk the uncanniest peril seen in a generation would have matched the general sentiment. What truly rankled was knowing Atkosol would benefit not at all from any such rhetorical flourish. Regardless of anything he said, the regular tourists would leave, the thrill-seekers would stay for a time, and the greater part of the assembly could not look upon Mr. Atkosol as he brought his hand down without thinking, ¡°I do need the salary,¡± with the occasional substitution for the last word of ¡°respect of the academic community.¡±


    After the dissolution of the informal congress, thrill-seeker Millim Takki Atsa consulted the salaried Dirant Rikelta on the weighty subjects recently exposed to public discussion. ¡°Do Adabans hold meetings like this often? Is that how they usually proceed?¡±


    ¡°The form was recognizable although much of the formal procedure has been elided. As dull a topic as it is, I propose to offer tutoring sessions for established GE practices, since a violation may not meet with the indulgence naturally extended to foreigners now that your Adaban proficiency is so far advanced.¡±


    ¡°Ressi, I''m sorry I was too embarrassed to admit I''ve been worried about that myself.¡±


    ¡°It is shameful for me to be so remiss as to allow you the slightest suspicion of not being welcome among us.¡±


    Such was the mood of the participants as they departed, not at all despairing now that someone widely approved was setting himself to the problem. In Ividottlof, the inhabitants trusted Mr. Taomenk less, but as few could afford to desert their homes and businesses for an indeterminate time, they assumed an attitude of resigned courage.


    Taomenk, supported by steadfast Adabans, eager fairies, and Survyais supervised by Doltandon Yurvitas whose fairy riches had indeed faded along with the lake district but whose cupidity and employment contract had not, made progress some described as unfortunately rapid. He found stretches of underground passages. That was the rapid part. The ¡°unfortunate¡± modifier attached when he discovered a great many such stretches branching off the main line he followed from the Statue Garden, none of them markedly promising, like subsidiary businesses of a firm made overconfident by recent growth. Confidence in a swift resolution fell.


    The profusion of passages did not dishearten the industrious engineer, who had expected too little rather than too much and far preferred the former. The discoveries simultaneously spurred bold experiments in the field of cartography. Lommad Okliten reformed a portion of Fairy City into a scale model of the ruined underground large enough for people interested in walking the same route as some Ertithan janitor once did to stroll along without hitting their heads but sufficiently small that someone could, and often did, survey the entire layout from a nearby observation tower and try to extrapolate the rest of it.


    The complex became a regular hiking trail for tourists who often suffered, during tours of the genuine caverns, a natural fear concerning the tons of material overhead which had not been approved by an architect. Moreover, time spent in fairyland was time away from the Ividottlof region where a change of name to ¡°guestland¡± could be justified. Not only was the affected area increasing in size, but visitors who could not resist staring at their problems rather than solving or escaping them began to report something dismissed initially as an invention of minds desperate to justify their long trips: Strange figures drifting through the purpled landscape, vague in their appearance like stones at the bottom of a pool during the rain and evanescent like the rain itself.


    Gabdirn (the Heweker one) confirmed the figures to be silhouettes of guests, from a distance, using a telescope. Anyone who questioned his courage encountered the defense, standard because incontrovertibly true, that he alone among Symbol Knights dared to approach as close as that, to say nothing of the time he defeated a fairy king in single combat. He himself did say nothing about it, for all that well-wishers tried to persuade him to include the event in the preface of his future books. ¡°It has no relation to the contents,¡± he insisted. His argument later failed to convince his publisher, naturally.


    The new phenomenon decided many to reassess the value of their jobs, their homes, and their more stubborn relatives. After all, what was a cousin really, they asked as they packed their belongings. The flight might have become general but for one occurrence, much as when the expected rise in price of a deceased artist''s works fails to occur for the simple reason that rarity does not in every case compensate for poor quality.


    ¡°I have found something,¡± Mr. Taomenk declared upon returning to camp one day. The announcement replaced his usual update of ¡°It goes, it goes,¡± and people noticed. ¡°What it is, ask an Ertithan, but it is most certainly something. Are Mr. Gabdirn and Mr. Dirant available to give their opinions, or?¡±


    He directed the question at no particular person. Since Atkosol Tellanstal happened to be passing by and was accustomed to responsibility, he took up the burden of a response. ¡°I will send people after Mr. Gabdirn. Mr. Dirant, is he not a Ritualist? I can prevail upon Mr. Patklenk to put in extra hours.¡±


    ¡°I won''t object for Mr. Dirant to have assistance. Perhaps Mr. Odibink and Mr. Hwohyesu should come too, and the other Mr. Gabdirn. I suppose it''s everyone but the reporters who might have something worth saying.¡±

 53. Concerning The Benefits Of Class Variety Within A Population In Contrast To Current Movements

    Every Class Has Its Contribution, Warm Body Excepted


    The reporters came regardless. All the persons named and a large number beside, from Atkosol to Zatdil (the fairy one), followed Mr. Taomenk to an underground location he had accurately described as being, undoubtedly, something. From the entrance, the explorers could see that the chamber fit with typical Ertith conventions except that it extended far higher, perhaps twice as far as Gabdirn, Odibink, and Hwohyesu would reach if the three cooperated, one standing on the shoulders of the lower, an arrangement no one present possessed the audacity to suggest. The interior vestibule or abbreviated hallway, whichever side of that argument one took, could have been taken from any ziggurat above, and the murals of both the mosaic and painted type doubtless would exhibit the usual aesthetics when examined, which all refused to do for excellent reasons.


    The Ritualists present warned that the ritual designs spread across the floor, not thirty-five thousand of them but nevertheless an impressive several dozen, might not be as anodyne to step over as those designed to prevent food from spoiling. The warning did not prevent anyone from advancing (since not a single person ever intended to do so), but it did prevent any embarrassment at loitering near the entrance while looking about nervously in the manner of someone who has begun to suspect his invitation was accepted insincerely.


    ¡°What a fantastic ritual that must be!¡± someone in the pack exclaimed, thereby causing the three Ritualists to realize laymen failed to distinguish the multitude of obviously distinct rituals. Bringing up the matter would have been gauche however, given how far they themselves were from comprehending the chamber''s other notable element, which was a light grayish ball, uneven in its contours, that rolled continuously around the room''s center in a small circuit. That was the only aspect of it which justified the use of the word ¡°small,¡± for its circumference exceeded two Atkosols tied together if ever an equal of that great man could be found. Though difficult to examine on account of its distance and motion, most concluded it to be a massive, curled-up monster, while many judged it to be the herald of the world''s end.


    ¡°Restless Patience,¡± one man alone said, and that with assuredness, for expertise on that subject belonged to the Symbol Knight, and such Mr. Gabdirn was. ¡°That is the guest Restless Patience. We do the invitation for that one when we have a need for a guest to stay put. It''s a rare need.¡±


    ¡°Ah. Dangerous, a guest as it is?¡± Taomenk asked.


    ¡°Stand on its route and yes, else and no.¡±


    A mixture of relief and anticipation poured over the party much as when someone who has recently purchased a house and wishes to beautify it marks off a garden, acquires jars of water which the sellers purport contains rare minerals conducive to plant growth, and waters said garden for three weeks before hiring a professional. With their immediate concerns allayed, the onlookers no longer contemplated a selfish dash along the passage while shoving their neighbors back and hoping their flesh would satisfy the terrible creature unearthed by Taomenk Genarostaf''s intemperate digging, one forever afterward known as The Engineer''s Hubris. Neither did most of them expect to be called upon to contribute to a possible solution; Mr. Gabdirn was the clear authority. Instead they exulted without restraint at viewing a guest invited several thousand years ago. What an anecdote that would be at the dinner table.


    The people who had something to do, reassured as to the placidity of the Restless Impatience, considered the rituals next. ¡°Mr. Patklenk,¡± Atkosol ordered. A name sufficed for an order when someone had worked for him as long as Patklenk Ost had. For the sake of those not so situated, Atkosol elaborated, ¡°Any Ritualist here is welcome to assist in examining the chamber. At his own risk of course.¡±


    Dirant and a tourist, Ostisk Elnafokt, presented themselves as risk-accepting Ritualists and moved forward, though from the entrance huddle they had already developed certain ideas. As they and Patklenk circled the dense array of designs, scrutinizing them while also searching for more obscure rituals on the walls, floor, and ceiling with such focus that they wholly ignored the magnificent examples of ancient artistic technique, more intact than the typical find, they grew continually firmer in their conclusions. The three Ritualists met and consulted on the chamber''s far side.


    Patklenk Ost began the conference by right of his seniority in the specialized field of architectural ritualism. ¡°The visible rituals remain active. No hidden ones exist. Agreed?¡±


    ¡°It is so,¡± both his colleagues confirmed.


    ¡°Further, every active ritual is identical. I do not know this ritual.¡± The admission implied a question without insisting on an answer he had no reason to be sure his colleagues could provide.


    ¡°Is it not the Symbol-Related Prolongation Ritual? I have never seen it actually complete and functioning. Really it has no use, or such was my previous notion.¡± Ostisk''s ebullient tone and Dirant''s attitude both contrasted with Patklenk''s blank face.


    ¡°That you concluded the same is welcome, Mr. Ostisk,¡± Dirant said. ¡°Though a curious fact caused me at first to doubt the identification before the evidence overwhelmed the objection. That ritual''s invention is dated as I recall to the year 230 or so.¡± It was St. 238; Dirant avoided the exact year so as not to give the impression of trying to show up the other two.


    This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.


    Ostisk posed with his fist closed and extended. ¡°A hand clothed in ancient garb reaches across the millennia to strike a blow for the Constantists! I do not resent it. Is there not something enchanting about a continuity of rituals which stretches both forward and backward unimaginably? In a thousand years, Ritualists will consult just as we do.¡±


    ¡°Is the blow for the Constantists or simply against the Mutationists?¡±


    ¡°I had forgotten the Mutationists, just as I think they ought.¡±


    The two Ritualists laughed. There were two only, since the first had already left to inform Mr. Atkosol (and perforce everyone else within hearing) he might trod in that chamber where he pleased so far as rituals were concerned, for though many were active, they meant nothing to humans. The summoned creature alone was affected.


    ¡°What does it do to the guest?¡± Gabdirn inquired.


    ¡°It prevents the . . . guest . . . from acting by imposing delays on . . . the processes of . . . summoning and unsummoning. Inviting.¡±


    ¡°There is such a ritual?¡± The information startled the Symbol Knight, who never before considered Ritualists his most committed enemies or else his most felicitous friends. He had not yet thought out the everyday applications of the ritual to decide which or neither, but he quickly apprehended its relevance in the current situation. ¡°That is it then. An Ertithan Symbol Knight did the Restless Patience and had it part to open the door, their Ritualists made it frozen fast half-open, and the Omega Despoiler was stuck on the threshold. The pictures will show me right.¡±


    Upon examining the mosaics and paintings, the explorers conceded various murals were susceptible to interpretations consistent with Mr. Gabdirn''s explanation. One wall section depicted a crew hoisting a massive version of the neat little boxes found in the Archive before the excavators managed to break half of them and removed the other half to prevent a similar incident. Another mural depicted that very chamber as indicated by the giant ball shown therein, and on either side of that were a man with his arms upraised and an abstract decoration which Gabdirn confirmed to be the symbol which invited the Restless Patience when inscribed. A third showed the chamber again but from an external perspective from which it was a circle inside a rectangle. Above it, a horizontal line represented the ground, perhaps, and a diagonal line projected up and left from the chamber to the sky; along the way it intercepted an armored figure similar to that which occasioned a dispute inside the ziggurat. All understood what they had not then, that they looked upon an illustration of a foe indomitable but for trickery, an army-vanquishing verang, Omega Despoiler Zatdil Akavinnux=Scaurrdex Ikakach.


    ¡°One wishes for better artistry,¡± one viewer complained, and no one defended Ertith against that particular accusation, splendid as the civilization''s legacy was in other respects.


    The mosaics tended more toward the abstract than was typical. A series of lines set at different angles, several matrices of circles and ovals (the same structure repeated but with an oval replacing a circle or a color altered compared to its neighbor), and what appeared to be a map with certain locations marked and labeled were elements which puzzled the examiners, three among them excepted.


    ¡°Are those diagrams meaningful to Ritualists, or?¡± inquired Atkosol, who perceived a difference in how the members of that class looked on that section. Much less head-tilting, for one, and far more withdrawing from the crowd to whisper to one another.


    Likely the circles and ovals represented clusters of Prolongation Rituals. By activating some and suppressing others, Ertith''s Ritualists included or excluded areas from the effect, enabling them as a consequence to direct the parting phenomenon in a chosen direction so as to bring the guest world to the verang rather than the reverse. Presumably an injudicious program of wanton revocation would cause the distortions affecting Cowsick Point to wander across the surface, inflicting calamities along the way upon the camp, fields, hills, and Ividottlof itself with its many inhabitants, if not quite so many as a long list of other towns and cities. A more considered approach however ought to permit the practitioners to confine the parting to uninhabited areas until only a handful of rituals remained, at which point multiple Ritualists by coordinated action might disable the trap entirely.


    ¡°We believe so,¡± Patklenk stated. Laymen neither wanted to hear the details nor benefited from doing so. ¡°The Ertithans left instructions concerning manipulation of the trap.¡±


    The summary delighted the laymen. Breaths were exhaled, relieved foreheads were wiped, and someone released an unseemly but entirely understandable whoop. The situation had already been reduced to a journal entry in the minds of most, and at last Atkosol could anticipate an end to the entire distraction with little or no further exertion on his part. ¡°Mr. Patklenk, do you have the resources to release the guest, or?¡±


    ¡°Yes, Mr. Atkosol. Perhaps a week is required if Mr. Dirant and Mr. Ostisk consent to assist me, longer if others must be hired.¡±


    ¡°And it is my eager desire to satisfy our client in accordance with Stadeskosken policy,¡± Dirant hurried to assure that same client.


    ¡°I would like to be paid.¡± Ostisk likely had not acquired Negotiating Fundamentals or a similar ability to judge from that statement. It came across as a plea rather than a bargaining position or a general statement of personal philosophy.


    ¡°Good. And if more Ritualists?¡±


    ¡°If two more could be found, no more than four days.¡±


    ¡°I will hire them therefore.¡±


    ¡°And, this is an imposition of course.¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    Patklenk waved upwards. ¡°The diagrams are complete enough to go by, we believe, but with some conjecture, errors, delays, and so. They are inconveniently placed as well. Supposing that the scribes convert them into notes and make corrections, assuredly we will complete the task faster and safer.¡±


    There Mr. Odibink offered his services, and if most of the explorers had forgotten or never knew him to be an authority on reconstruction of Ertith artworks, Atkosol had not planned to invite any of them to speak on the matter from the start. He of course remembered. He also withdrew to begin making arrangements, trusting that nothing would be touched unjustifiably in his absence, an expectation justified by the event. The common tourists and laborers restricted their probing to the intellectual sort, which gave them the double pleasure of hearing experts argue and of absorbing educated opinions which would impress acquaintances later. That final pleasure was anticipated rather than realized.


    ¡°But on reflection, the entire pleasure of the typical vacation is never realized,¡± one tourist opined, and her peers concurred in declaring the outing to Iflarent''s Hideout among the most enjoyable they had ever taken, welcome news to Ividottlofers hopeful to receive the benefits of tourism who consequently wished all the more for the success of the Ritualists. The town temples became the busiest they had been for generations.

 54. The Problem Resolved

    Ask Yourself At Each Day''s Conclusion Whether You Have Subtracted From Your Present Problems Or Only Added To Them, And Then Adjust Your Conduct Appropriately


    Behind every Ritualist stands a dozen manual laborers, went a saying coined on that occasion and never used again. The crews cut a path to the chamber more direct than the trail of spotty clues Mr. Taomenk had first followed there, making a ramp between there and the surface outfitted with wooden slats for improved, slipless transit. That benefited the supplies and the people who carried them and not the Ritualists; they were stuck down there, if not by explicit command then because of the anxiety they inevitably occasioned whenever they appeared on the surface. ¡°Is something wrong, or? You cannot have finished. Tell me privately if you think we should flee and I will not forget your kindness.¡± That sort of talk beset them till at last they gave up the sun for the project''s duration.


    That was the sort of resolve Atkosol appreciated. He had the final stretch of the new passage widened into an antechamber subsequently furnished with beds, chairs, tables, and other facilities for the use of the Ritualists and further ensured catering, laundry, and delivery of such publications as circulated in the region including Over the Plain and the Over the Plain weekend edition. Though better-appointed underground cells existed, theirs was impressively comfortable when accounting for the time element.


    Mr. Odibink personally delivered copies of his improved sketches in order that he might explain in person some of his relevant beliefs about Ertithan artistic convention. ¡°This border of repeating triangles, you see it up above, indicates there is something dangerous here. It is employed primarily in scenes of the gods'' wrath at impiety.¡± That was one example, and the response was a request from Mr. Ostisk that none follow.


    The revocations went slowly. Ertithans believed in tall buildings, deep tunnels, and arrangements of rituals far more complex than, say, pairs which operated in the manner of a seesaw. After all, they had known Zatdil might attack from any angle and any speed, not limited to those humans might exploit. To account for all contingencies, the rituals clustered in threes, fives, and eights, and many incorporated subtle techniques able to reshape a design into an oval or teardrop without changing its effect. Each distortion demanded its own variant of the revocation ritual, none of which the ancients had been so kind as to record unless on sheets no longer legible. The three (later four and then five) Ritualists looked forward to a joint publication of their discoveries on the subject which would receive an immediate and decisive lack of interest but also be a verifiable academic credential.


    Other visitors came, most to peruse the murals; even those prevented a feeling of total isolation by greeting the Ritualists as they passed. A few came expressly to see them. They wished to reassure the sequestered that they were not forgotten and their efforts were appreciated.


    ¡°We all appreciate your efforts,¡± Takki told them. ¡°I wanted to reassure you about that. I also don''t want you to suspect you''ve been forgotten just because you aren''t patronizing the cafeterias with the rest of us. They speculate about you all the time. Oh, and you don''t have to to worry about Cowsick Point. Everybody knows to stay away by now, and the people who didn''t have all been rescued so far as we know. I brought down this article about you all. It''s very flattering.¡±


    ¡°Are there then articles which are not so flattering? Is the speculation on why Ritualists take such a long time to do anything, and is there a suggestion our salaries and fees are not unrelated to the speed of our work?¡±


    ¡°Ressi, I don''t see any reason to tell you about those.¡±


    ¡°Ah.¡±


    Whether in praise or condemnation, opinions related to the operation concentrated on its effects. The Scientifically Minded Gentleman''s Primer alone interested itself in the process, and to have Nalfenk Migolkir regularly descend, observe, and inquire with a curiosity the specialists were willing to accept as unfeigned heartened them more than they would have expected. He played along in good humor when the five declared him a friend to all Ritualists except for that one he hated.


    Silapobant Rikelta cheered them as well on the two occasions he provided a meal outside the standard to his brother and stayed to reminisce. If the two siblings featured in few anecdotes together, Fennizen was Fennizen, and moreover a hometown was a hometown, a subject on which the Ritualists and deliverymen were pleased to speak. Medant Denmarof could have contributed explanatory material to some of the Fennizen stories had he made his visit at a slightly different hour, but as it was he only reported his imminent departure.


    ¡°I leave today. Ah, that is not to say that I''m worried, though are you sure you cannot go faster? It is only that my leave is exhausted, and I am not yet ready to abandon Captain Anpazor. I wanted to thank you and Edol again, and only one of you is here.¡±


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    The oddest of all the visitors was the famous Shtaugirs, who brought the grateful specialists high-quality confections though nothing premium by his standards. He looked around while they ate, and while they may have heard him mutter words along the lines of, ¡°So that''s what they did,¡± they presumed him to be referring to them, to Ertithan artists, or to his business rivals. Doubtless a man in his position never ceased thinking entirely of the commercial, even when he escaped it by retreating underground.


    That is, Shtaugirs was the oddest of the recognized visitors. A full three days and a bit more after commencing the project, the Ritualists positioned themselves at their final stations and as one conducted five separate rituals. They did not match their paces perfectly, but within four seconds of one to the next they brought down their staves, and forever after four of them wondered if they had indeed seen that strange being appear which had spinning eyes and a color-changing vest. Perhaps it was an error in perception caused by the thrill of the moment, or rather by a profound eagerness to experience some thrill appropriate for the magnitude of the accomplishment, since the only occurrence upon completion was that the Restless Patience, which had been there with them all that time and millennia more, no longer was. It vanished without even an anguished wail, a finale unthinkable to the editors of horror anthologies. Then again, no matter how strange and ancient, the Restless Patience had been the most helpful guest the Ertithans could imagine.


    The five Ritualists looked at one another.


    ¡°Did you see . . .?¡±


    ¡°I did.¡±


    ¡°I did as well, but regardless, I will beat you to the top!¡± Even before he finished speaking, Ostisk dashed out of the chamber and up the walkway, his four colleagues behind, nearly overcome with emotion which had yet to decide on its proper expression. Certainly raucous cries of triumph would have been indecorous if they emerged on a ruined world where nothing existed but mutating terrain and angry guests.


    They did not, and moreover, a detachment of volunteers which had set off toward the Point the moment the Ritualists were spotted without waiting for a word from them soon returned with a favorable report. ¡°It is normal again, just like that,¡± attested one runner who had never been to Cowsick Point before the latest incident. More reliable people confirmed the claim however. The locals, when they checked themselves, did add one reservation, which was that it looked a tad less desolate than before. They even conjectured something might grow there, and such a drastic change did unsettle them for all that it was an improvement.


    The party in Fairy City, as befit the last to be held there, was the most extravagant. Everyone was invited again and more showed, both in number and capacity for ostentation. Taomenk and the Ritualists had worked so fast that tourists possessed of leisure but not impulsiveness had not heard they should stay away, with the result that socialites such as Baozir Nalna was supposed to cover but never before could attended as well as the type of Ertith enthusiast who pondered funding an excavation someday but had not gotten around to it. The jewelry they brought with them did not replace Ydridd''s vanished castle and all her riches, but the gap narrowed. Just as they arrived, they learned the city district they had come to see was dissolving rapidly. The circumstance only added to their delight, for the party thereby became exclusive. They saw the sights and one another while ignoring the alleged guests of honor.


    ¡°Ressi, you shouldn''t be down. We know how important what you did was.¡±


    ¡°I''m not down.¡±


    Takki shook her left wrist which hosted the single bracelet she had brought with her. ¡°You aren''t, but you should be. I hope you don''t mind that I pretend to talk to you when I''m really trying to persuade myself. I succeeded, I think, but now I''m contemplating a different problem.¡±


    Dirant, who had followed her agitated look across the Turtle Palace, asked, ¡°Does it involve Miss Ydridd and the other Mr. Gabdirn, or?¡±


    ¡°Fairies are spreading out all over, Ressi. Isn''t that going to cause problems? No, I''ll be frank. Aren''t they in particular going to cause problems?¡±


    ¡°Yes. Your frankness is contagious. Even so, our ancestors dealt with them.¡±


    ¡°You''re right, Ressi. We''re more advanced than they are, so we''ll be fine.¡±


    That was not precisely his meaning, but neither did he precisely disagree, and so Dirant did not object. Instead he committed himself to enjoying the company of friends, acquaintances, and strangers aside from Shtaugirs, who terrified him, though to a manageable degree.


    As the walls of the Turtle Palace faded around them much the same way the ancients, long dead, disappear when the avid reader of history closes his book in response to a knock on the door, Lommad transported all her guests to the real world where the festivities continued, much as when a familiar friend knocks on the door. Wiuyo objected. ¡°Liminality is evocative, but the symbolism here is too plain. Subtlety is a great neighbor even if it''s a bad king, so we should do this over again, more elegantly.¡±


    ¡°I''m sorry, but I can''t,¡± Lommad said. ¡°The fairy world is already gone. Will you take a roll instead?¡±


    ¡°That''s even blunter. I''ll do what I can though.¡±


    What she did was heard in countless concert halls across the continent, much as the articles and later the books about the series of incidents which transpired at Iflarent''s Hideout won a large readership, to say nothing of fiction inspired by those same incidents. The subsequent excavations made less of an impact on the various entertainment industries, but everyone agreed they were very interesting, probably.


    Theatrical versions generally condensed the participants in the actual events into a few characters, which might have been disappointing had it not encouraged most of them to imagine themselves as Atkosol Tellanstal, undoubtedly an improvement for most.


    ¡°My actions however seem to have been split between Mr. Taomenk and Medant,¡± Dirant observed upon first attending a performance of one such. ¡°I am unsure if I ought to complain. No, I am sure I should not.¡± Having concluded that, he left content.

 1. An Enthusiastic And Joyous Introduction

    The person on a stroll among the inland hills who saw two gentlemen huddled among rocks under specialty umbrellas painted in greens, grays, and browns to resemble the surrounding landscape, the latter their protection against the drizzle and the former against being spotted from the harbor of Wawamd below, might have believed them to be engaged in conduct far from any the respectable advocated. If his eyesight were so keen as to inform him one was a black-haired Adaban and the other an Adaban rather lighter if nevertheless far from blond, his suspicions doubtless would increase, for they were far from Greater Enloffenkir. Moreover, he would have been correct.


    ¡°Observations?¡±


    ¡°The day is unaccommodating.¡±


    ¡°It isn''t what anyone prefers, to meet with inconclusive failure,¡± said the fairer Adaban who, speaking properly, was not an Adaban despite the improbability that any passerby outside of Greater Enloffenkir (and few within it) would recognize the fact. Then again, as any such person creeping up the slope inland of Wawamd at that hour likely was up to something regardless of tribe, that passerby''s opinion might be dismissed without consideration. ¡°Dispiriting as it is, that is nothing but the usual day in this work.¡±


    Dirant Rikelta made no coherent reply, but only a noise which might be interpreted as a grunt if made by a man more in appearance like a lumberjack than a junior partner in a law firm, not that he was either. He belonged to the commercial world, and as such he was calculating whether there was anything to gain in saying, ¡°It is not failure in the undertaking which prompts my evaluation, but rather that I am here at all, with you, whose fault it is.¡± There was not.


    Stansolt Gaomat turned again to his telescope. The device humbled the smaller models used by pirates to check a passing ship for marines pretending to be common sailors but not was nearly so large and fine as anything a competitor in the race to name celestial objects would deign to employ. His view of the harbor gave him reason to smile. ¡°There is a consolation which comes from this sort of job, and it is the opportunity to meet interesting people. Even better is for the meeting to be other than mutual. Look at this, Mr. Dirant.¡±


    ¡°I see two men.¡±


    ¡°That is as it should be, but describe them.¡±


    ¡°The one, older and evidently more prosperous, the evidence being the golden buttons on his coat and the trim which, if not actually silver, is not without its expense, keeps his hands on said coat as if afraid the wind will blow it away, something conceivable in this country but perhaps an indication of a limit to his means. He is of middle age and therefore ought not to have that boyish cowlick, but nature and fashion are uneasy neighbors. He is a tanned man of the islands, and no one would be so rude as to mention within his hearing anything about how big and rectangular his head seems to be.¡±


    ¡°You have described Mr. Urvs Beutands.¡±


    ¡°Ah!¡± Even outsiders to the eminently respectable but (or perhaps because) small society of shipwright-followers had heard of Urvs Beutands. His celebrity was a small thing compared to that of Topent Atkolta or Teuris Desintro, but under a more reasonable standard, he was not unknown. Just as the eminent Mrs. Desintro was the sole living painter celebrated by the average person anywhere in the continent, if asked to name a single ship designer the answer must be Urvs Beutands, the genius credited for the schooner which had pushed his country of Ililesh Ashurin to the forefront of nautical innovation. As much as greater familiarity with the topic ennobled the bearer of it, Dirant admitted himself to possess the lesser degree. He shifted to the other man.


    ¡°Mr. Urvs Beutands is speaking to someone who is almost certainly not his son. Aside from their relative ages which preclude a relation much more distant than fraternity, though there are of course cases of nephews older than their uncles, it is his ears which are excessive rather than his whole head. To proceed beyond unkind observations, his chin is large too in a powerful and even inspiring way, and his curly dark hair may be a result of Adaban and Survyai combined unlike Mr. Urvs Beutands in whom the former element is probably absent. His dress is less rich, but clean and pleasant enough.¡±


    ¡°That is Innars Rakin, a well-known independent captain.¡±


    ¡°Ah.¡± With regard to Rakin, Dirant recognized not the name but the profession, which in that milieu referred to a smuggler in possession of his own vessel and crew with which he engaged in the customary transactions and in any additional opportunities which suited his resources, convenience, and inclinations, a regard for legality not among them. ¡°Is there anything remarkable in a conversation between these men?¡±


    Stansolt reclaimed the telescope and redirected it, an answer in itself. ¡°The islands would be improved in character if it were. Here Mr. Rakin is regarded as a reputable citizen. He is an especially prominent example of his type, and is that not commendable? As for what they have to discuss, ships are ships after all, money is money, and it would be foolish to make distinctions the sea and creditors do not.¡± Perhaps it was an illusion caused by presumed alignment of opinion, but Dirant believed Stansolt''s wry tone expressed condemnation of the local attitude but also understanding. He may have been examining the waves beyond the harbor, not wild then but prone to rouse themselves to passion without such courtesies as an announcement posted in the town square.


    The remainder of the session yielded to the surreptitious observers nothing even so interesting as a conversation between two personages of moderate regional fame. Stansolt concluded the exercise with these words. ¡°Tomorrow, a changed plan of action is indicated.¡±


    After a few days of that routine, or a week, or a year (just as the considerable differences between an adakigen and a sea giant meant little to the victims of their terrible clubs, the exact duration had ceased to be of importance), Dirant was ready to stop, not that he had ever wanted to begin. A wiser man might have speculated which was likelier, that the next duty Stansolt envisaged would be more congenial or that it would add danger to tedium, but each day made Dirant wetter rather than wiser.


    Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    Stansolt continued in his soft Sivoslofer speech which at times took on the character of when a man is inventing lyrics for a tune on the spot and whistling when he fails to think of something, a clear contrast against Dirant''s precise, businesslike Kitslofer accent ¡°The circumstances will be favorable for a walk around the main harbor, which till now I have been hesitant to do without a good excuse. You can cover a burp by knocking a glass over, but by the third broken glass people cannot help but question. I must thank Mr. Beutands for our excuse. He announced a presentation about his latest design scheduled for tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°And are results to be expected from that, or?¡±


    ¡°My desire for results is unlikely to be satisfied, but that is nothing to you, Mr. Dirant. Persistence as all know is the heritage of the Adaban.¡±


    ¡°So I have heard from foreigners, but among Adabans we do not regard our own capacity so highly. Perhaps studies on distributions of Sticktoitiveness are loud on this point.¡± As for Dirant''s rating in that stat, it was 57, and if not sufficient to qualify him for the Brawny Knight class, it prevented him from converting his private complaints about his current occupation into attempted escape from the assignment rather than from the nest alone, an undertaking which required an amount of repositioning tripled in discomfort by the pebbles grinding into his legs at seemingly every point. At last he managed and thereupon withdrew while the other man packed up his telescope and his umbrella designed for clandestine activities before his own exit.


    ¡°The ambiguities, contradictions, and enigmas of Ililesh Ashurin begin beyond its name, about which there is no confusion whatever, disagreements as to translation notwithstanding. The Obaluon phrase signifies ''Decent Islands.'' One might also read of ''Middling Islands,'' ''Usable Islands,'' or ''Sufficient Islands'' and be assured that all refer to the same territory. Those adjectives were and continue to be the judgment of the Obenec when it comes to this archipelago which is worthy of settlement, development, and government in their opinion and that of many others, but not of passionate attachment.


    ¡°What the name encompasses is the first intellectual snarl. Unquestionably there is a chain of islands amid the Northern Sea (to us; to the inhabitants of Pavvu Omme Os it is the West Sea, and from Ililesh Ashurin itself it can be nothing more or less than ''the sea''), five significant in size and far more not. Unquestionably also there is a country called Ililesh Ashurin. The two existences share much, but borders are excluded from that. The principal islands of Syiglean, Aitanyean, Imfreyan, Peinyabralnura, and Combem to rank them by land area are often what is meant by Ililesh Ashurin, but Aitanyean is a possession of the state of Iptlelkolmar and, by transitive necessity, of the Greater Enloffenkir confederacy. That is to exempt unjustly from consideration the myriad smaller islands, many of which are claimed by Greater Enloffenkir or by the kingdom of Saueyi. . . .


    ¡°The economy is not wholly reliant on fishing and the amber trade whatever reputation posits, and still less on smuggling and piracy, neither of which as currently practiced deserves the shameful name. In the case of the former, the country provides the service of facilitating exchanges of goods about which there are questions posed by the law but none by men of sense. For instance, artifacts extracted from sites fallen into ruin centuries before the grandparents of the grandparents of a single living person enjoyed the fortune of birth are the natural property of the person who extracted them or else he who paid for them to be extracted, and yet from time to time certain governments assume the position of enforcers of the rights of the dead (who see no benefit from the custodianship, nor yet do their descendants, save those able to enrich themselves with bribes and forewarnings of auctions because ensconced in relevant offices). As for the latter, piracy in the north at least is today nothing but a privately collected toll, since merchants gladly make arrangements with ''pirates'' which permit their own ships to pass while forbidding their rivals the use of the sea. While a disgraceful practice, it bears too little resemblance to the classic form not to merit another name.


    ¡°There is of course shipbuilding, and while Ililesh Ashurin excels in that industry, an inherent expense detracts from its profitability. That is the need of lumber, which is so great that the islands are nearly denuded of the trees useful for the purpose with the result that wood is the country''s primary import. The careful analyst of national finances, and again the debt this work owes to the keen mind, diligent research, and magnanimous attitude toward dissemination of his results which render Mr. Genrisholt Polminteraf an ornament to humanity is happily acknowledged, reveals the ''Unexceptional Islands'' to be unexceptional also in their economy, the bulk of which consists of the products of the farm and the ranch. . . .


    ¡°The residents divide themselves, when they can trouble themselves to consider the intangible, into two groups, the Utenec and the Hausikirib. The mixture of half of the continent creates the Utenec: Adaban, Saueha, Jalpi Sessu, Obenec, Survyai, Jalpi Peffu, and Yumin, to give the living tribes their hypothesized prevalences. The Hausikirib, meanwhile, are the same but without the Obeneutian element, a distinction rather less important today than when the Obenec first wrested the islands from the Survyaian empires which claimed them and subjected to their government the inhabitants who had already become a separate people.


    ¡°It is impossible to accept however that every islander bears on his body the mark of every one of those tribes, to say nothing of varying proportions as well as additional admixture in the form of Riks, Dvanjchtlivs, and even adventurers from distant Neast, Tando OHW, or Yosrobzi Vugri to name a single country on each of three populous continents. The residents are susceptible to a hundred schemes of classification, all of them useless and alien to the local paradigm which replaces genealogical study with presumptions based on competence. It is unthinkable that a mayor should not have some Survyai blood, to the extent that if no such ancestor is known, the townsfolk will speculate without blushing as to which generation introduced that infusion of unacknowledged ancestry. A rancher successful at contriving a breed of pig sought by continental traders must be a scion of the Yumins. These are the clearest cases, but every village has its families believed to be of a specific stock which makes it suited for its role. The scheme if unfolded in its entirety requires not a paragraph but entire volumes. . . .¡±


    Dirant Rikelta had studied literature recommended by Stadeskosken''s academic consultants and found them accurate so far as they went, though he found wisdom also in the pithy advice a fellow Fennizener who had traveled there for commercial reasons gave to the city as a souvenir upon his return: ¡°It is unnecessary to learn the language, for the locals ignore the outsider as readily in Adaban as in Ashuraluon.¡±

 2. A Most Intricate Accounting Of What Is And Is Not Done

    He had considered the claim to be humorous exaggeration and troubled himself to learn the usual phrases (from ¡°How much does that cost?¡± to ¡°How much does that cost speaking honestly?¡±) only for experience to confirm its complete truth. The most intricate conversation he had with a local occurred when he mused aloud on the topic of the milder change in temperature between day and night there as opposed to that in Fennizen. A Wawamder, and if he preferred a different term he ought to have been more forthcoming on the point, scrutinized him as if gathering evidence of a potential debtor''s character and resources before agreeing to a loan. The man then pointed to the Northern Sea and said, in Adaban, ¡°The sea''s influence.¡± Dirant thanked him in Ashuraluon, a display of his willingness to conform to island standards which failed to prolong the encounter.


    He had little more to do with fellow foreigners. When he arrived at the harbor, the mark of distinction for the town of Wawamd, he sought the offices of the company called Konental as instructed and discovered them to be contained within a single house, a small one. Three men occupied the place and shared the burden of rent, that division of cost and the pleasing wooden exterior, spruce he was told, being the two compensations of the arrangement. They were Hlindol Lehaodaf (Branch Chief), Radalim Estarant (Accounts), and Osintant Desonkir (Intermediary Service Supervisor). So enthusiastic was the branch chief that he encouraged Dirant to join their financial compact. The size of the building was such that if asked to accommodate all four at once it might be forced to apply to a construction company for an extension, but that never occurred save at night, and the doctors most creditable in the chief''s opinion held that a sleeping man was advised to curl up.


    That was it for Konental. Before arriving, Dirant had wondered why a firm dedicated to breeding animals of ever more use to humanity and facilitating economically productive transfers of said animals would request from another company involved in dissimilar fields the loan of a commercial Ritualist accustomed to mitigating the deleterious effects of decay on produce.


    Though unable to conceive of a reasonable explanation, he had retained confidence throughout his journey in Stadeskosken''s management as far as making pecuniarily rewarding decisions. Silapobenk Rikelta, son of Stadeskosken''s founder Haderslant Rikelta and presumed heir to its chief position, had demonstrated his acuity in business by increasing the salary drawn by the company''s itinerant Ritualists. Since Dirant filled the sole position indicated by that title, he considered the raise to be highly judicious in its application, salutary in its results, and not to be questioned on the grounds that its recipient was another of the founder''s sons when one considered the good services he had done the company and the complete absence of favoritism of that sort demonstrated before then.


    ¡°The condition to continue earning your salary has already been decided.¡± Silapobenk, or Silone outside of office hours, proceeded to the next topic immediately upon declaring the raise without pausing to allow Dirtwo, or Dirant during office hours, a break during which he could plan the uses to which he would put his extra thirty ezolas a day, an amount of money far from contemptible.


    Perhaps Dirant ought to have questioned deeper what heightened expectations accompanied the augmented pay, but he still possessed the confidence of the specialist that his present work deserved more compensation and the optimism of the young that others might recognize the fact. He simply said, ¡°That is gratifying to hear, since I have learned to detest leisure when enjoyed by others and feared that to be an idiosyncrasy before now.¡±


    ¡°That is a sign you are ready for management. A request has come from Konental.¡±


    ¡°Is that the entire name of the company, or? Suppose I look in the directory for it.¡±


    Silone ignored that as he did Dirant''s subsequent attempts to get him to say the firm''s full name which by chance the latter knew to be Konesmatkir Rit Entalmizol Rit Olnol. He dedicated himself to the delivery of instructions as if a herald on the eve of battle. After the details about when and whither the Ritualist was to travel, he added a final statement. ¡°It has been decided that in addition to your immediate responsibilities, you have standing authority to explore avenues for expansion. The command is vague and therefore appropriate for the unpredictable.¡±


    ¡°I understand and intend to rely on that so heavily that you will regret ever saying it,¡± Dirant promised.


    The regret however was all on one side when he reported and learned the request had been sent on behalf not of a manager responsible for transporting exotic dog food for over-moneyed pet owners but rather a new employee of no importance aside from that conferred by his true employer. That is to say, if Stansolt Gaomat requested personnel possessed of particular talents, the espionage apparatus of the state of Sivoslof and its cooperators throughout the GE were willing to find the people. Following a short meeting with the three authentic resident Konental employees, the chief directed Dirant toward the fake one, whereupon Stansolt briefed his new aide.


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    ¡°The situation is this. You will be proud to learn that the products of Adaban forges are more in demand than ever, but there is worry about the destination of several recent arms shipments.¡±


    ¡°Which is?¡±


    ¡°Unknown.¡±


    ¡°Ah.¡± For all that an impulse arose in Dirant to quit his commercial position in favor of burnishing his academic credentials which had sprung into existence upon the publication of An Initial Survey of the Use to Which Ertithan Ritualists Put the Symbol-Related Prolongation Ritual and the Variations of It Employed by Patklenk Ost and others, he being one of the others, he had not yet divorced himself from the practical world to embrace the abstract and therefore could not pretend to be wholly without curiosity.


    ¡°There are organizations which can bring themselves to ignore incidents of that sort, but mine is full of worriers. We lose twenty minutes of sleep out of every hour when we contemplate crimes perpetrated by an outside organization under the guise of an approved Grenlof operation. Our inquiries have traced the shipments to Ililesh Ashurin, but not farther.¡± Stansolt Gaomat belonged to that set which not only referred to Greater Enloffenkir as Grenlof rather than the GE, but also treated it in other ways as a single country, the citizens and subjects of its various states united in patriotic purpose. ¡°The matter is of interest but not urgency, and under those conditions my superiors agree there can be no better occasion for testing the applicability of Ritualist class abilities to our work.¡±


    Hearing that, Dirant began in his heart to yearn for the university. Divine Guidance (Hunch) had intrigued Stansolt when he learned of it, but the attitude of the Ritualist whose status listed the ability differed. He regarded it as a contingency to be employed only in circumstances themselves to be avoided; to call upon it at other times amounted to loading himself down with supplies, cooking gear and such, for a trip to the bank which he could no longer complete on account of his equipment having become too bulky to fit through the door.


    And yet Dirant did it. The professional Ritualist daily patrolled Wawamd''s streets as ordered, entered public establishments, and withdrew to vantage points approved by Stansolt. When convenient, he let his mind lapse into a state of unheeding concentration, of unfocused keenness. No hunches came, and his anticipatory anxiety devolved into grumpiness. He had spent his birthday aboard a ship, his sullen faculty for memory insisted on repeating, and while Adabans did not make much of an event of that, his collection of pens which his father ordered given to him every year would forever be one short.


    Deprived of other occupation by the apathy of the locals, he had cause to congratulate himself on acquiring a number of older issues of The Broadening Mind to peruse during his assignment. That publication had only recently penetrated the unconscious bulwark everyone must erect around a selection of written works or else ruin himself in ceaseless reading, and the universal reaction to it intrigued him, the reaction being that it was full of falsehoods. Furthermore, one of its regular columnists was conjectured to be a Ritualist and therefore a model for anyone of that class questioning his present employment.


    The Broadening Mind''s articles covered a surprising range of topics, from the heterodox scientific theories he expected to warnings about monster outbreaks to theater reviews. What he also did not anticipate was the bold claims of the headlines, ¡°The Mystery of Pearl Cultivation Is Solved at Last by Scientific Bravery,¡± for example, and the complete failure of the articles to match their tone. The writer theorized that byproducts of glassmaking processes dumped into the ocean contributed to the Ottkir pearl industry. The obvious rebuttal that thriving glass manufacture did not elsewhere accompany significant pearl production went unaddressed, but then, the article when read without regard for the title dealt with little but musings on the chemical aspect of glassmaking.


    Dirant read further, thinking that were he to master the house style, that house might accept another paid Ritualist. In many articles, a question was raised and not given a definite answer even as the rest of it seemed to presume one. If it began by asking the reader if a particular Ertith mosaic depicts an earthquake, it ended by relying on said earthquake to explain the city''s abandonment. Putting the house aside, the style of presumed Ritualist contributor Thlaklesta convinced Dirant to agree with that presumption based on subtle indications such as the proportion of articles purportedly written from and about places of greater interest to that class than to the general public. Granted that a city such as Aomalp, beyond the importance of its school of ritualism, provided to a great number of people habitation, employment, and leisure away from all that working and putting up with family, Aemuiax in Saueyi by contrast was a name encountered a dozen times per page in authoritative Ritualist texts and nowhere else aside from guides promising the most original tourist experiences. They probably praised Wawamd as well. It had much to recommend it to the traveler unafraid of solitude.

 3. Our Most Illustrious Citizen Again Favors Us With Enlightening Discourse

    When Urvs Beutands promised a lecture, people showed. Not many people. He enjoyed lecturing too much for any single occasion to be treated as exceptional. Still, his rivals never gave up altogether on checking for innovations to steal, each year had a harvest of young aspiring designers who hoped to shake the surf as he had despite their likely fates of adjusting existing models to reduce cost in accordance with the client''s desires though against his interests, and Wawamd citizens continued to appear regardless of the topic. They believed he deserved encouragement for his contributions to the town''s reputation and economy for all that he needed none, since undeterrable confidence could not with honesty be listed among the qualities lacked by Urvs Beutands.


    That day, the mayor attended. Olasid Tyuglem desired more than anyone to cheer on the town''s favorite son. ¡°Almost done yet, Beutands?¡± The islanders typically used either an honorific or a name, and the former rarely, so there was nothing but courtesy in that respect. Further, Urvs in this example was his childhood name and Beutands his adult name; identifying him as Urvs Beutands was a convention for record-keeping only. If the form of address was therefore not so rude as the visiting Adaban might suppose if unacquainted with the regional customs, her tone made good the deficit.


    Beutands accepted the greeting with perfect composure. ¡°You haven''t even given me a chance to say how lovely you look today, Tyuglem. No one would think you''re as old as you are.¡± At that point, Dirant''s personal Ashuraluon translator Stansolt Gaomat interjected for his hearing alone that the mayor was 43 and Beutands two years older. Since Dirant guessed them both to be a bit younger, he had cause to doubt whether Beutands spoke discourteously or only honestly, provided a distinction existed.


    The mayor said nothing but merely shook her head. The gesture emphasized one of the few divergences from standard GE fashion there in that the numerous clips of diverse color and material placed throughout her hair drew attention, a common style among Ililesh Ashurin''s women. Neither did anyone else respond in any manner save to follow Urvs Beutands when he began walking. Whether his manners could be commended or otherwise, Wawamd and its people knew their one luminary and had long since made their judgments, a situation unlike that in larger and better-populated regions in which the person who achieves celebrity enters a milieu remote to the common citizen and liable to give surprise when encountered.


    ¡°Here it is, yet?¡± He stopped in front of a long, high warehouse for reasons incomprehensible to mainlanders, but the mayor understood.


    ¡°Please let us see the ship, you genius, you innovator, you recipient of voted honors voted well.¡± They did comprehend her aggravation, wrapped in a flat tone though it was, and moreover started to share it.


    ¡°Of course!¡± While physicians across the world agreed a smile could not transcend the borders of the human face, Beutands proved them wrong that day. He looked around the few dozen attendees and told them, ¡°I have my client to satisfy. No one else. Our mayor understands that and struggles so valiantly to suppress her impatience where another would exert the weight derived from her position, and that is why I vote for her every time it comes up. The rest of you I don''t blame for being impatient either, because here is a secret: I am too. My client didn''t even permit this little peek, so let''s refrain from telling him, and? The project will be covered up. My sole concession to the client. Oh, how like forcing your children to wear sacks it is, but I can''t justify a true showing. Anyway, come in, come in!¡±


    The audience preceded Beutands inside while he waved everyone forward with sincere enthusiasm far in excess of what Dirant expected from a pioneer in his field and an acknowledged genius who had years to soak in the tub of praise and little reason to hoist himself out of it unless to open his door on a waiting collection of admirers. More than that, the proud designer did not cross the threshold himself before he began yelling out explanations, not in the manner of a lecturer recapitulating information for yet another body of students but rather as ebullient as one of those very students who for the first time has completed a ritual design without first erasing and redrawing a quarter of it.


    Whatever the outcome of the mission as far as preserving the GE from suffering a stain to its reputation, one undeserved and though difficult to see among the others no more welcome for that, it gave Dirant the benefit of seeing a ship before it was built, an essential for the well-rounded gentleman. ¡°Ah, it is unusual for the construction to occur indoors,¡± he could afterward say. ¡°It was whimsical serendipity which permitted me to inspect such a rare occurrence. As for the reason, the ship was a new model created by Mr. Urvs Beutands, and therefore . . . have you heard the name, or?¡± That he sounded insufferable in his own imagination worried him, but he had time to refine the anecdote before he deployed it.


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    He would have to hope nobody would want details, as those were concealed by hanging covers. Nobody tried to peek under them. The people of Ililesh Ashurin considered curiosity in the face of intentional secrecy to be an offense on the level of robbery committed on land (whereas robbery on the waves was no offense at all). The bare silhouette nevertheless supplied surprises, though not to landlocked laymen of the Fennizener sort unable to comprehend the design outside of pondering how much bigger ships seemed to be on the water despite the efforts of the waves to conceal the bottom portion. The experienced nautical types meanwhile fixed their attention on a section at the eventual front, or fore, or bow, one of those, which extended farther and lower than anything on a normal vessel.


    ¡°The client wanted one thing,¡± Beutands explained upon concluding it had received enough attention. ¡°He wanted that mounted on his ship. Yes, that. I would commit the fault of misdirection if I didn''t say upfront that the entire purpose of the design is to haul that with a minimal loss of seaworthiness. Have you forgiven me yet, Mayor? I wasn''t slow because I plotted to annoy you. This has been been a challenge. You all know I don''t like to admit that.¡± Even Mayor Tyuglem laughed jovially. ¡°It has been a terrific challenge. A good one, I''ve gained from it. I figured out approaches to balance and ballast that will be invaluable. I''m in the kind of mood to give them away for free.¡±


    The presentation which followed corrected Beutands''s reputation with the skeptic who suspected the designer to belong to that category of eminent personages who are either entire charlatans who stole success from forgotten underlings or else had one good idea and will never have another. The language attained a loftiness of technicality far above the common understanding and none of the listeners who ought to have understood displayed signs of incredulity, which were the two items of evidence the layman had the training to consider.


    During that, Dirant ventured to apply his own expert knowledge. ¡°Please cease the translation,¡± he requested of Stansolt in a whisper, and with Beutands''s words reduced to incomprehensible noise, not that he had comprehended them before, the Ritualist was able to achieve the state of concentration which he believed the Divine Guidance (Hunch) ability required. So easy was it that he took one lone breath before something occurred, but even more against his expectations than success was that the something in question did not resemble in the least his earlier uses of the ability.


    An odd feeling came to him as others had done in the past, but it had nothing to it of the emotional or internal. The sensation rather recalled a winter day far enough into the season that he had become accustomed to the cold and yet was startled when a chill wind went against him, so urgent in its progress that if he opened his mouth to object, he found himself unable to breath without turning away. The phantasmal wind had its source in an object easy to guess on the basis of its relative prominence in both size and incongruity. While Dirant stared at the mysterious protrusion around which Urvs Beutands had designed a ship, he received meaningful messages.


    <blockquote>


    Ability Divine Guidance (Emanation) gained.


    +1 bonus to Receptivity gained.


    </blockquote>


    Nobody noticed Dirant''s discomfort aside from Stansolt, who whispered, ¡°Anything?¡±


    ¡°Something.¡±


    Stansolt clapped him on the back and resumed translating. The rest of the lecture meant no more to Dirant than the beginning until the conclusion, when Beutands made a declaration startling to listeners of every grade of technical knowledge.


    ¡°The client kindly indulged my wish to name her. She will be the Impetuous and Irresistible Daughter. That name she will assume, Tyuglem, next week at her launch.¡±


    The islanders cheered. As often as new ships were built, they still appreciated the work which led to each. Mayor Olasid Tyuglem led them in vigor, and Beutands might have been her son to judge from that as well as her subsequent comments to the effect that she had always believed in him. ¡°Making us worry is just his way,¡± she was asserting as the audience shuffled out of the shed.


    Away from the respectable citizens, the furtive pair was able to speak frankly. Stansolt received his assistant''s account with satisfaction. ¡°Mr. Dirant, I admit to shame. I expected plain diligence, and instead you went so far as to learn a relevant new ability. This must be the extravagance of the old tribes. What more can you say about it?¡±


    Dirant could not help but be gratified by the praise, not that he made any effort to resist. ¡°It purports to detect nearby elements of uncommon provenance which are capable of effects which soon must have their result. Specifics as to ''elements,'' ''uncommon,'' and ''soon'' are entirely absent, though certain ideas are inevitable with regard to ''uncommon'' in particular.¡±


    ¡°Indeed so. Is there anyone who cannot think of relics supposedly of the gods or obscure magical artifacts after hearing that? There is silver for the report on Ritualist feasibility. My attention is captured by this client Urvs Beutands avoids naming. I will likely be away while I trace the young ship''s lineage. Should I bother saying you should carry on as you have been or else invite suspicion?¡±


    ¡°An expert''s advice is always worth some bother.¡±


    ¡°My thinking was the same, and the more so after today. Till later, Mr. Dirant.¡±

 4. A Charming Interlude Of Unrelenting Peril

    Later was not long away, for Stansolt emerged the day before Impetuous and Irresistible Daughter''s launch to convey his determination to glorify the occasion further with an undertaking of his own.


    ¡°Mr. Dirant, how is your swimming?¡±


    ¡°As is typical for someone born next to the Ontoffemmiror.¡±


    ¡°Then I have my second rower.¡±


    ¡°Which is to say, we splash around a little in our youths, just by the bank. It was nothing but trivial exercise insufficient to confer real proficiency.¡±


    The caveat did not dissuade Stansolt, who anticipated no call for activity more strenuous that that on Dirant''s part, aside from the rowing of course. Dirant might have pleaded a deficiency of Muscle and had it accepted on the basis of his class''s typical statistical profile, but 36 was not so low as to render him infirm. Even had he been willing to descend into dishonesty by implication, a young man''s instinctual reluctance to emphasize his relative physical inferiority would have prevented it.


    Stansolt''s investigation had not unearthed the name of the client, likely an organization rather than a single person given the resources involved, but the people he bribed had observed a connection between the construction and a small island nearby suited for clandestine activity. That described much of Ililesh Ashurin of course. Among its countless islands, countless not because of limits to the numeracy of cartographers but rather because the islanders dissuaded foreigners from counting them, far more could be put to some use than ever were, and upon rare occasions only did any come under inspection.


    The launch occurred in the middle of the day when most employed within the town enjoyed an interval of leisure. They were free to rest from their morning labors in preparation for those of the afternoon and ponder philosophical questions such as who made the world how it is and what could be done to correct it. For that reason the event attracted a crowd and encouraged a relaxed sort of celebratory atmosphere, the kind such that the entrepreneurially minded sold food to the bystanders but did not put themselves out preparing specialties such as festivals often boasted.


    Dirant Rikelta and Stansolt Gaomat missed all that when, much like the piano movers too busy to attend the concert, they rowed out from the beach south of Wawamd on business intolerant of delay. They did not consider themselves deprived. Even in town, not all went who were able. One of Dirant''s alleged coworkers, Mr. Radalim, had expressed his intention to watch as an expression of gratitude since Konental foresaw so little business that day that the branch closed early, while Mr. Hlindol and Mr. Osintant planned to exploit the early closure by going, as they put it, ¡°out.¡± What diversions there were in Wawamd and its environs for foreigners remained unknown to Dirant, who would certainly inquire deeper if he ever returned, which he would not.


    Ignorance has this compensation, that he was able to imagine their doings on the day without regard for fact, a process more entertaining by far than performing his duty on the Northern Sea. Stroke. Had a local lady caught the eye of one of the two, his attentions resented by a native accustomed to getting his own way but so far unable to win her heart? Stroke. A part-time job of secretly replacing scarecrows and startling the vermin who had become inured to the terror of the inanimate kind? Stroke. Was there horse racing elsewhere on the island so that they expended their salaries on transient thrill only to become entangled in the immoral and violent world which lies beneath all gambling, much like fairy halls under the hills? Stroke.


    The clouds forbore from raining, proof that the weather itself respected a genius, and the waves were far from wild. It felt to Dirant as if a contrary swell rose every so often to undo their progress of the previous hour, but it was not so. ¡°It is this custom of looking backwards that causes it,¡± Dirant theorized. ¡°So long as Combem is in sight, I cannot believe we have traveled far.¡±


    Poets might describe islands as emeralds set in turquoise which made joyous ornaments to a horizon otherwise severe, or else as prototypes of continents crafted by the gods and superior for that just as we must admit the individual pieces of the true artisan to be more appealing than goods produced in greater number by a host of laborers working under a supervisor''s instruction. The alternative is to admit instead that we overpaid, an unthinkable concession. Combem however resembled a chubby fellow wearing a bulky beige coat adopted because of the frequent rains in the region who, returning from the nearest well, trips and lies sprawled while the water spilling from his bucket surrounds him and reflects the sky and mirthful sun.


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    ¡°We have not and will not,¡± Stansolt assured him. Being a Battler and blessed with the usual array of stats for an elite combat class, his speech had nothing of the wind in it that Dirant''s then possessed. The discrepancy caused raised the question of whether they meant the same thing by ¡°far,¡± but perhaps because they had both traveled widely, the answer proved to be that they did.


    Their destination, reached while they could still see the heights of Combem, approached closer the poetical descriptions. Ringed by its beach, its verdant interior had not yet been removed in favor of spruce houses and wheat fields, and in place of Combem''s lumpiness it directed itself in an orderly manner toward a single peak much as did the tent of a Dvanjchtliv hero amid his battle-won herd. The island''s one flaw, that it refused to conform to the perfect geometry of a properly cut emerald, conferred upon it rather the charm of unblemished nature rather than the opprobrium which the better part of society attaches to the sloppy.


    An inlet looked to extend even under the rising peak for a way, and if anywhere illicit activity might be carried on, it was there. Nothing of the kind could be detected at the distance Stansolt allowed the boat, far but nothing insuperable with a telescope''s assistance. The interior segment could not be descried from there. He directed the boat in an arc around the island to a shore on the opposite side where they beached it. There they deployed their mechanisms of deceit, which consisted merely of fishing rods set in the sand near the boat, and inside that they arranged a cover to give the appearance of two fishermen napping, exhausted from their exertions in reaching the place. From there they proceeded without words made unnecessary because of Stansolt''s foresight across the island to a vantage point on a headland from which the cove could be viewed.


    The wisdom of sending forward the Ritualist immediately rather than scouting ahead first might be questioned, but not by Dirant, whose experience of violent incidents with Battlers in the vicinity had convinced him to prefer being nearer rather than farther. As for leaving the boat unguarded, he had brought nothing irreplaceable, and if some criminal came by to disable it, that malefactor would presumably have one of his own which might be substituted.


    From the headland they confirmed that bribery is the font of genuine knowledge. There were islanders in the grotto, perhaps mainland Obenec as well, Dvanjchtlivs, and a ship moored at a pier. Nearly every element of that scene surprised. The number of the islanders seemed excessive for any enterprise possible to carry on there, to say nothing of what looked to be residences farther back in the cavern. Importing Obenec therefore seemed altogether superfluous, provided they were such. They wore at least the loose shirts and pants all dyed pink on the theory that it made them easier to pick out if cast upon the sea; paintings such as ¡°The Port Near Hendlerv¡± had made that attire famous as the costume of Obeneut''s sailors. Then there were the Dvanjchtlivs, a tribe not so renowned for sailing that most smugglers would think to exert themselves in hiring any for that purpose. Given their armor, sabers, crossbows, vigilant gazes, and readiness for inspection by a general or any deputy thereof, their employers evidently agreed.


    ¡°Those are or were king''s marines, or else I must consider resigning,¡± Stansolt muttered.


    To turn to the ship, that by itself was as common in Ililesh Ashurin as intemperate insults in a theater review, but two peculiarities distinguished it. First, that it was inside a grotto invited speculation that the opening had been artificially enlarged at such expense as could only be met by people who hired dozens of Utenec workers, Obenec sailors, and Dvanjchtlivan marines. Second, the entire hull had been painted a mixture of blues and whites consistent with both modern ideas of camouflage and descriptions of the mysterious raiders lately tormenting the kingdom of Saueyi to the southwest. Witnesses of the heinous attacks had been able to give little detail aside from the look of the ships and the strange fact that the raiders who landed, girt in armor and intimidating helmets complete with obscuring visors, behaved not like rowdy bandits but rather went about their looting without a syllable of speech in any language, a display of discipline rare outside of military corps such as, to give an example, Chtrebliseuan king''s marines.


    ¡°It is my own excitability I am sure which drives me to unreasonable conjectures you are surely capable of contradicting, Mr. Stansolt.¡±


    ¡°Your Discernment has more to do with it, Mr. Dirant.¡± Stansolt''s even tone permitted no idea of facetiousness on his part. The importance of the inquiry into the eventual destination of Adaban arms had risen. The danger involved rose also, but at a lower velocity, and the prospect of an undignified death caused by a smuggler angry that someone discovered he had exceeded his annual permitted amber shipments to Chtrebliseu by twenty pounds distressed a young man more than falling in the service of a country. Preferably his own country, but Saueyi sufficed. It was a respectable kingdom responsible for much of the contemporary understanding of rituals.

 5. An Illustrative Example Of The Influence Innovation Has On Scuffles At Sea

    The two continued observing, Stansolt with a telescope trained on the main operations (which consisted to all appearances of leaning against boxes) and Dirant with an eye toward the rear in the event that a Dvanjchtlivan marine was sneaking up behind. For all that he deemed an end of that sort worthier than the petty smuggling scenario, he esteemed a long life above both.


    In the course of that, Dirant detected an approach far grander than the most flamboyant Dvanjchtliv could contrive, to say nothing of a sailor holding an oar in a threatening posture. He tapped Stansolt on the shoulder, and together they watched the Impetuous and Irresistible Daughter cruise toward the islet. There could be no mistake about its identity when what led the way was the enigmatic protrusion at last freed from concealment just as when an heir is at last presented to the kingdom''s subjects. If anyone doubted the identification, perhaps deluded into thinking a hundred other ships must bear the same feature, Divine Guidance (Emanation) would cure the misapprehension provided the doubter were a Ritualist who had learned the ability or else gave credence to such a person. From that distance, the effect on Dirant was more of a breeze which threatened to muss his hair rather than to freeze him. A sign more legible to Stansolt so long as he held the telescope was seeing Urvs Beutands on the deck, though not in command. That role went to Innars Rakin.


    The Daughter joined its smaller, spikeless companion in the secluded port, a feat difficult to credit which added renown to the sailors and the people responsible for the expansion both. Her crew disembarked and made for the back of the cave out of sight where doubtless a restaurant had been built, its head chef a former apprentice in the royal kitchens in Sissals to judge by the funds lavished on the rest of the enterprise, whatever it was. As much as Saueyi resented the unprovoked depredations, not that it welcomed any that could be argued to be provoked, the looting thus far had been selective. The robbed temples and manors had their treasures, but any accountant who reckoned the expenses and the income must declare the thing a loss, for which reason the purpose of the raids remained as obscure as its perpetrators.


    The Obenec sailors and Dvanjchtlivan marines withdrew as well, leaving Utenec to begin loading on the Daughter crates previously used for leaning. Some of those crates were sealed there at the dock, revealing themselves beforehand to contain variously swords, spears, shields, and silver of the sort with which one might pay one''s private fleet.


    ¡°Mr. Dirant, it has been a blessing as always. The gratitude of your country isn''t something I can claim to dispense, but I''m certain you have it. Withdraw to the boat and back to Wawamd. Wait a few more days before taking passage to Ipakolmar, and continue your routine throughout if you can bear to do so.¡±


    The person inclined to disregard Stansolt''s instructions belonged to a class other than Ritualist, one which required far more Gumption, but Dirant did have one concern before he went. Or rather two concerns, but for the second, he supposed he could make it back himself provided he took breaks. Staying silent on that point, he asked the more salient question. ¡°Do you have another boat hidden here for yourself?¡±


    ¡°Ah, as to that, Mr. Dirant.¡± Stansolt smiled, not as expansively as Beutands had but not far short. ¡°Captain Rakin has just delivered it.¡±


    Finding the fishing rods undisturbed either by fish or by raiders, the former to be expected since weights had been substituted for hooks, Dirant did not take it upon himself to remove them when they might stand forever as a monument to boldness. Straightaway he shoved the boat into the surf and scrambled inside in a 44 Coordination sort of way, neither adeptly enough for a skipper to clap and call him a natural nor yet in the manner of a chubby fellow on his way back from the well.


    He made sure to row far enough that a pursuer would need confidence in his swimming before he took his first break. After that, he circled the island in order to achieve the reverse of the bearing or heading or whatever the proper term may be from that which the boat headed to get there, and if Stansolt Gaomat had changed his mind about his method of departure, there was his chance.


    He had not. The Impetuous and Irresistible Daughter emerged from the cove behind Dirant, and on its deck stood a Sivoslofer rather than a renowned son of Ililesh Ashurin, or an infamous one. Naturally even Stansolt, expansive as his capabilities were, could not handle a great vessel alone, and on that account he had hired a crew. A small contingent of pink-shirted Obenec, ten or so, raised the sails and so forth.


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    The defection prompted Dirant to consider the reputation of Obeneut''s residents. Which was poor. Everyone of sense understood the general distrust of the Obenec to be the vestiges of pillaging expeditions which had petered out centuries ago rather than an indictment of their modern conduct. That is, everyone who had the sense not to involve Obenec in his commercial ventures and therefore lacked familiarity. Those without such sense, in anecdote at least, insisted the Obenet''s unfavorable reputation to have its renewal in every transaction, and there were these sailors in presumed violation of their terms of employment.


    In their favor, perhaps they had commendable reasons such as a proclivity for prompt action which might be argued to be courage, a pious distaste for a profane scheme to use what might be a relic bequeathed by the very gods in cowardly assaults against the blameless Saueha, or outrage upon being informed by Stansolt that the actual plundering was to be done by Dvanjchtlivs rather than honest Obenec pirates, a division of labor kept secret from the new hires. On reflection, only one of those was unambiguously commendable, and that presumed a reverence which Dirant had developed but knew to be far from universal.


    The study of the Obeneutian national character could be better carried out in Wawamd if not in Greater Enloffenkir or even, a more energetic plan, in Obeneut. Moreover, the scene, already suitable for a play too exciting to be critically regarded, had nothing to gain by having a Ritualist hover at the side of it. Dirant rowed toward Combem entirely satisfied in his own performance and confident in Stansolt''s.


    The raiders meanwhile did not accept it as a moral lesson that someone should make away with the new flagship of their marauding fleet. Boats left the grotto, a wondrous cavity possessed of infinite capacity, and stirred up the sea with oars worked by Muscle worthier of regard than what a single Ritualist applied to the task. The foremost of them succeeded in coming alongside the Daughter, presuming Stansolt had not already changed her name to Grenlof Forever. The first to clamber up, with the fervor of an anxious father and with an adroitness unimaginable in Fennizen, was Urvs Beutands, who directly engaged his creation''s new captain in a discussion inaudible to Dirant but which he perceived to end unsatisfactorily, unless it had been Beutands''s intention all along to dive off the Daughter''s side as a part of the launching ceremony.


    That conjecture had its refutation in the behavior of the buccaneers who climbed up after and offered violence rather than their congratulations on a propitious maiden cruise, but they fared the worse for their intemperance. Each had a short audience with the Battler''s sword before making the same dive with this difference, that where they caused a splash, the waters reddened.


    What displeased Dirant about the scene was that he remained close enough to see it. Soon the raiders gave him a new cause to reject complacence. The other ship, smaller but equipped with a larger crew and a company of marines, emerged from the grotto after the fashion of a manager who steps out of his office and presently begins to vex subordinates who by their sloppy work merited his condemnation as much as he deserved theirs for the gap between the criteria by which he judged performance and what aided the firm in fact.


    Sacrificing the use of his arms for the rest of his life seemed to Dirant worthwhile if it got him away from the course of those two ships. Three complications prevented the trade. First, he lacked the physical control required to disable himself. Second, doing so would not increase his speed. Third, the course changed when Stansolt grabbed the wheel and swung the Impetuous and Irresistible Daughter around. He further called for his Obenec allies to abandon her, or if he did not, they abandoned her nevertheless.


    The Daughter dug its possibly sacred spike into the hull of the pursuer, and as planks twisted and split, Stansolt made a dive which far exceeded Urvs Beutands''s in grace and demonstrated thereby the reason professional divers preferred to make independent leaps rather than relying on external assistance. The spike drove ever deeper, as irresistible as the ship''s name promised. Dismay, panic, and dereliction of duty were the expected results, but instead valiant marines treated the ram as nothing but a metallic causeway convenient for boarding and subsequently reclaiming their queen of the Northern Sea.


    Then, for a period brief enough that it might have been doubted to exist (and certainly would be so doubted by any who heard of it later), the sea flattened. Those natural processes which churned the great seas and oceans ceased as completely as work during the manager''s absence. For the first time since perhaps the world''s creation, the Northern Sea assumed what must have been its initial form, a vast and placid mirror in which the equally youthful sky might admire its unblemished reflection.