《Looking To Belong》


 Chapter 1

    I yawned and shook my head as I woke up. My ears brushed the top of the den with the action. I was used to waking up in tight locations, so it didn¡¯t really bother me. Such places were safer for someone as small as me.


    I uncurled and stretched in the limited room of the old rabbit burrow. The rabbits on this side of the mountains were supposedly much larger than normal, but my belly fur was almost touching the floor of the tunnel as I headed towards the surface.


    I paused with my nose mere feet from the entrance as I slowly inhaled, carefully testing the scents in the air. After a minute, I poked my head cautiously out of the burrow and glanced around. The coast was clear. I exited the burrow and shook my light grey fur hard to get any possible dirt out of it. I stretched again as I looked around.


    My view was limited to the underside of the bramble bush. This part of the forest had huge sprawling bramble bushes, which was a perk for me. I could easily get underneath them while anything larger than me would get a face full of large, sharp thorns for their efforts. I took care not to raise my head too high since I had ended up with scratches on my ears more times than I cared to admit.


    A cream color off to the side caught my attention. I trotted over to inspect the small mushroom. I was familiar with this one and knew it was edible. It must have sprouted overnight because it hadn''t been here last night. I lightly wagged my tail in anticipation; where one had appeared, more would be nearby. I used my paw to push it over and break the stem before gently picking it up in my jaws. If I bruised them, people wouldn''t pay as much for them. I quickly carried it to the edge of the bramble bush and put it down on the ground.


    I peeked out from under the edge of the bramble bush, pricking my ears up to catch any sounds while carefully sniffing the air again. I only heard the normal morning birdsong and smelled the normal scents of plants and small animals. I was pretty good at telling if something was around at this point.


    I carefully came out from under the bramble bush and glanced around before shifting. Seconds later, I was standing in my somewhat-tattered jeans and t-shirt. My clothes and backpack shifted with me.


    I took a deep breath of the cool morning air as I relaxed somewhat. I was more at ease in my human shape simply because my wolf shape was so small. Most werewolves were large enough to almost look a human in the face. I, on the other hand, could barely lift my head high enough to reach someone''s knees. A runt.


    I had even seen some huge house cats that were bigger than me. At that size, quite a few creatures might think about trying to turn me into a meal. Bears, coyotes, or even a really big eagle was a potentially lethal threat while I was in wolf form. Cougars were my personal nightmare ¨C if they were hungry, they wouldn¡¯t care if I was in human or wolf form. One had almost caught me when I was little. Thankfully, my parents had been nearby and had quickly attacked it.


    I have no idea what my parents had thought when their daughter first shifted. I had been told that I was a late shifter and hadn''t shifted until I was nearly six months old, whereas most infants shifted by the time they were three months old. I was far too young to remember. They had loved me in spite of my tiny size.


    I glanced at a butterfly as it fluttered by. I kind of wished I could shift into my wolf form and chase it around without a care in the world. But that longing would have to go unheeded. It was simply too dangerous for me to drop my guard out here.


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    I bent down and carefully extracted the mushroom from under the edge of the bramble bush where I had left it. After fetching a small willow basket from a nearby lean-to, I looked around and spotted several more mushrooms from here. I started picking various mushrooms, occasionally shifting to retrieve several from underneath the bramble bushes. As I picked the mushrooms, I thought about my original pack.


    My childhood had seemed mostly normal, the pack had accepted me even if they preferred to keep my presence a secret from visitors. Sometimes other packs thought that the presence of a runt meant that the pack was weak, which occasionally led to attacks. The Alpha wouldn''t tolerate bullying, so I had never really been picked on too badly. All in all, life had been pretty good.


    Then the ferals had attacked. I had been twelve at the time, and my mother had told me to run to my hiding spot until she came for me. Our home had been near the edge of the town and a long distance from any of the safe rooms. My parents had taken advantage of my small size and had taught me to use rabbit burrows if trouble approached.


    I had run to the burrow my mother had directed me to and hid just like I had done dozens of times before. Whether it had been a drill or an actual attack, my parents had always come back for me when it was all clear.


    This time they never came back. The next day, hunger eventually brought me out of the rabbit burrow. I had wandered back to the town, but it was deserted. The smell of blood had been overpowering, although I hadn¡¯t seen any bodies. I went back home and called for my parents, but they never answered.


    Two days later, six strangers walked through the town. They had been checking for survivors and picked up my scent. When they found me, they explained that everyone in the town had been killed by the feral werewolves. The six who found me had been rogues. They were kind enough to take me with them and care for me for a while. I still felt a faint pang of grief for my lost parents and friends.


    I was a rogue now, too. That simply meant I wasn''t part of a pack. True, some rogues were feral, bloodthirsty killers or lawless troublemakers who stirred up trouble, but most were not. Some had been kicked out of packs for things like theft or disobedience. A few were simply unable to tolerate the authority that Alphas could wield. Others could be a bit anti-social and had a hard time living with a pack since packs usually had three hundred to five hundred members.


    I had even met one rogue who had been exiled because he had dated a lady who later realized she was the Alpha''s mate. He had no interest in dating someone who found their mate, but Alphas could be extraordinarily jealous and paranoid.


    I was a rogue because most packs didn¡¯t want to let a runt into their pack. They usually accepted a runt if he or she was born into the pack, but most drew the line at letting a runt join their pack. My heart felt heavy as I thought about how many times I had been turned away. I simply didn¡¯t belong anywhere. Packs didn¡¯t want a runt, and life for a runt as a rogue was extremely difficult.


    Rogues traveled and lived in the large expanses of no man''s land between various packs, rarely staying in one spot for long. Most rogues traveled in groups that ranged between two and ten members.


    Life as a rogue wasn''t the easiest, and for a runt, it was even harder without having a large and powerful wolf form. Most rogue groups didn¡¯t overly mind my presence, but they wouldn¡¯t wait for me either. I was left behind within minutes if I tried to keep up. It hurt.


    Most wolves could easily bring down a deer or catch a rabbit, but I had to rely on snares and archery. Rogues tended to spend the winter as a wolf, relying on their thick winter coat for warmth and protection from the elements.


    Like most runts, my fur had never grown guard hairs. I only sported my soft undercoat, although it did thicken up a bit in winter. It was warm enough as long as there wasn''t a strong wind and I didn''t get wet. I had begun to dread winter with its wind and snow after I had become a rogue.


    I kept picking mushrooms while keeping a watchful eye on my surroundings.


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 Chapter 2

    My medium-sized basket was almost full of mushrooms, which wasn¡¯t bad for a morning¡¯s worth of work. I headed east while keeping my eyes open for more mushrooms. Packs occasionally traded with rogues along the pack borders, and there was a pack just to the east of me.


    This pack allowed me to cross their border if I was heading to their market. People rarely considered runts to be dangerous. In some ways, it worked out in my favor. In other ways, runts were considered a burden and nuisance ¨C and that aspect caused me nothing but trouble and grief.


    I slowly walked through the marketplace. My heart always worked overtime due to my nerves whenever I had to enter a pack¡¯s territory. As a rogue, I had no protection from the guards or fighters if someone decided to attack me. The pack members mostly ignored me, as if I were a clump of dirt.


    I had lived near this pack''s border for several years now, so my presence wasn''t exactly a novelty. This Alpha allowed me to come to the market whenever I chose in exchange for the promise that I would not cause any trouble and would give a howl if I thought I saw something dangerous heading toward their borders.


    I walked towards an elderly lady. She looked up and smiled as she saw me. She greeted me, "Ah, Jade. Nice to see you this lovely morning. The western border is quiet, I hope?"


    I smiled at the kind, elderly lady and replied softly, "Good morning, Mrs. Elderan. It is good to see you looking so well. Things have been pretty quiet, although I have seen a black bear on and off throughout the week." I kept my voice quiet and soft. It made me look somewhat meek, but it did seem to keep most people from trying to use my words to pick a fight with me.


    This lady had always traded fairly with me. She replied, "I will just let the others know to keep an eye on the younger children, just in case the bear decides to wander in this direction. What do you have for me today?"


    I opened up the lid on the basket and came forward where she could see it more easily. She inspected the contents as she responded, "Will the usual trade work?"


    I nodded and she turned around to bag several loaves of bread. It was dense and grainy, the kind that filled you up fast and kept you full for a long time. She didn''t question if the mushrooms were edible. At this point, they rarely bothered to check if anything I brought in was edible.


    In the beginning, they had inspected everything when I first started trading, but after a year they had ceased their endless checks since every scrutinized object turned out to be edible. At the age of twenty-one, I had spent almost half of my life as a rogue and had been taught by quite a few rogues I had met over the years. I knew almost every edible thing in the forest.


    We talked for a bit before someone else approached her booth. I bid her farewell and turned to head back to no man''s land. I kept an eye on the others as I slowly walked through the busy market. The slow walk was to avoid drawing attention to myself.


    There were two people sitting on a bench kissing. I wasn¡¯t surprised to see that they had turned out to be mates since I had been sure of it even before the girl had turned eighteen last week. They just had that look about them and had somewhat gravitated towards one another even before they were old enough for their mate bond to appear.


    I glanced around, but didn''t see either the Beta or Alpha. The two men were probably out meeting other Alphas and working out trades while dealing with the endless world of politics. I could see their mates helping out with the market, although I had expected to see them here. The Beta and Alpha usually dealt with policy and relationships with other packs while their mates, while the Luna and Beta female usually concentrated on smaller details and events within the pack.


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    I watched a heavily-built man walk across the path ahead without glancing at me. He was one of the pack''s Enforcers and was probably heading over to break up a growing argument at one of the booths. The Alpha and Beta relied on Enforcers to keep the peace if they weren¡¯t in the immediate area.


    Enforcers enforced the law and helped keep the peace. They were skilled fighters and could usually equal an Alpha''s speed and strength if a fight broke out. A pack usually had one or two Enforcers at any given time and they almost never went outside the pack¡¯s borders. Like Alphas and Betas, they were born with their powers in their blood. One simply could not choose to become an Enforcer.


    I nodded politely to one of the pack''s Omegas. He nodded back and kept going, obviously on a task of some sort. Packs rarely abused Omegas anymore since it caused the pack to become unbalanced. Omegas may be the lowest ranking member in a pack, but their presence helped the other pack members to relax.


    People could get a bit uneasy with so many higher ranking and powerful pack members constantly around, but if an Omega was relaxed, it meant that everything was calm. Omegas practically had a second sense for trouble, particularly if the Alpha was irritated, and they could pull a disappearing act in seconds. If an Omega looked nervous and left the area swiftly, then it was a wise idea to make yourself scarce as well.


    Oddly enough, the Alpha and Beta traits were usually hereditary, while the Enforcer, Omega, and runt genes were only inherited by their children about half of the time. The other half of the time, they randomly appeared in normal families. No one in my family had ever been a runt; I had appeared randomly out of the woodwork.


    I had no problems with Omegas, and about six years ago, I had joined a pack for a year and had been assigned the role of Omega. It was uncommon for someone to be assigned to the Omega role, but not unheard of when the person in question was a rogue that the pack didn''t particularly want.


    I had left when the old Alpha had died without an heir and neighboring packs started closing in. That stint as an Omega had given me quite the set of skills capable of detecting and avoiding bad situations. The skills had remained even though the designated rank had disappeared.


    I was almost out of the market when my ears picked up whispering.


    "There is that runt again."


    "Not sure why she is allowed in here without a guard since she is a rogue."


    One of them snickered. "So? She is a runt. She might chew on your slippers, but she is incapable of doing any other damage."


    I pretended that I didn¡¯t hear them as I ignored their insults. I refused to rise to their bait. Anything I may say would rile them up and attract attention. In an argument between a pack member and a rogue, the pack member would come out on top, regardless of who was to blame.


    I didn''t want to think about the consequences if an Enforcer, the Beta female, or the Luna got involved. That would be brought to the attention of the Alpha ¨C and anything that caused him additional work was trouble for me. This bunch always did this if they saw me. They were five older teens that obviously lacked something constructive to do with their time.


    I failed to see why they always tried to antagonize me. Admittedly, as a runt, my wolf form was next to useless in a fight and my human form was weaker than the average werewolf in human shape, but I had been a rogue for nearly a decade.


    I had picked up numerous tricks over the years on how to beat or evade an opponent at a distance. If they went out to no man''s land, I could watch them for hours and they would probably not even know I was in the area. But, we were in a market on their pack lands ¨C and that changed everything.


    "It isn''t like she will ever find a mate, so I don''t know why she keeps coming here to trade. Too bad she doesn''t go bother some other pack."


    "Maybe she is seeing if someone who lost their mate will take her in."


    "Like that will ever happen..."


    I gritted my teeth silently as my anger stirred slightly. I knew the old saying that runts rarely ever got mates, but they didn''t have to rub it in. Look at the Enforcers, they also rarely ever found their mates, but no one ever looked down on them for that. It was terrible to watch couples happily in love, knowing that you would likely never have that chance.


    Besides, those who lost their mates rarely ever got over their loss to the point where they could consider marrying another who also lost their mate. The mate bond was a powerful thing that defied logic.


    I took a deep breath, but picked up nothing except the usual smells of the marketplace. No trace of an unusual alluring scent. Such a smell was usually the first sign that one''s mate was in the area.


    I was finally out of earshot and at the edge of the forest. I picked up my pace to a jog; it would be half an hour before I would reach the pack''s border and re-entered no man''s land. At this point, all I wanted was to enjoy the quiet of the forest away from people who enjoyed seeing another person in pain.

 Chapter 3

    I checked my snares and collected the two rabbits I had caught, glad for the meat since I hadn¡¯t seen anything on my way back. I went further south, to where I had built a small and well-hidden smokehouse to smoke excess meat. If I ate my fill in one form, I was full in my other shape. With my wolf shape being so small, I usually ended up eating as a wolf since it made my food supplies stretch much further.


    I cut up the rabbit and put it into the smoker. I had no problem eating raw rabbit in my wolf form, but I preferred it cooked. While waiting, I took some big feathers out of my backpack and started fletching some extra arrows. I was decent with a bow and arrow, which was a good thing considering that any type of melee combat was completely out of the question for me.


    I glanced at my reflection in a pot of water and my greenish colored eyes looked back at me. I was named after my eyes. My brown, shoulder-length hair was pulled back in a braid. At just over five feet tall, I wasn''t exactly the tallest person out there, but I had seen shorter people. My slender form was built for speed, not strength.


    I paused and looked around as I suddenly felt uneasy for some reason. I swiftly climbed the tree that I had been leaning against and peered down out of the boughs. My instincts were sharp and I preferred not to doubt them, even if I didn¡¯t know what triggered them. It had kept me out of trouble many times in the past. I heard a faint noise below and turned in that direction.


    I squinted through the thick leaves and finally spotted eight wolves stalking silently through the forest. No, there were twelve. Several had been hanging further back. I didn''t recognize their fur patterns, and the way they were moving had me on edge.


    I stilled as I noticed their red eyes. Ferals. Bloodthirsty creatures that killed even when they were not hungry. They were as close to madness as a werewolf could come. They were unable to even shift; some of their human craftiness and ability to reason remained, although the human mind was nowhere to be found. They were just animals - and rather dangerous ones at that. Sometimes, certain ones seemed driven to kill anything they saw, almost as if they were rabid.


    I remained still and silent until they were well out of sight. I quietly started moving through the forest, using big branches far above the ground. One guy had called it the forest highway when he had been showing me how to travel in this fashion years ago. It was rare for werewolves to travel through the trees since their wolf form was well suited to running along the ground, not to mention that they would have to be in human shape to travel from branch to branch.


    I used it a lot since my wolf form wasn''t an asset and very few people actually looked up into the trees. Another good thing about traveling through the trees was that scents high up in the forest were nearly impossible to track from the ground ¨C that is, if anyone down on the ground even picked up the scent in the first place.


    It was doubtful that the ferals would scent me. I had a habit of occasionally rubbing a mixture of local plants on my clothing and shoes to conceal my scent. Most rogues did it out of habit. We smelled like the forest we lived in.


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    When I was quite some distance from where I had been, I shifted into my wolf form while carefully perching on a thick branch. I threw my head to the sky and howled an alarm call into the evening sky. The pack sentries would hear it and would be on high alert in case potential trouble appeared.


    I swiftly shifted back and used the forest highway to put distance between me and where I had howled. Those ferals would possibly try and track down whatever wolf had given their presence away.


    I was very thankful they were unable to shift into human shape and climb, although it would be even better if they never found me. I really didn¡¯t want to be shadowed by tenacious and aggressive wolves as they followed me on the ground below.


    I moved quickly and silently through the tree branches. The only creatures that noticed my passage were the birds and squirrels.


    ~


    I kept an eye on the ground as I remained sitting high in a spruce tree. Luck must have been with me since I had not seen or scented the ferals as the afternoon and evening passed. I had not heard any noise from the border either, so the ferals must have abandoned their ambush once their cover was blown. I remained near the smoker as it smoked the rabbit meat. The smoke was carefully funneled up a long piece of pipe into the tree canopy to the point where the scent was faint and scattered.


    I was uneasy and had been on edge since the ferals had appeared. I didn''t want to be on or under the ground tonight. Ferals were persistent enough to break up bramble branches until they were close enough to the burrow to dig it up. It may take them most of the day, but rationality didn''t really apply to them. There had been enough of them that I wasn''t going to trust to the two other escape tunnels on that rabbit burrow either.


    My small wolf form did have one perk though. I was small enough that I could shift forms without falling out of a tree. It was a feat that no regular-sized wolf could manage. Years ago, I had built a small structure in a tree not far from here. From the ground, it looked like an old hawk nest, but it had a hole in one side and it was hollow. The inside was a bit bigger than the rabbit den was and it was quite roomy for my wolf form.


    The sun was starting to set and I didn''t want to be out after dark tonight, so I used the forest highway as I headed over to the tree that I couldn¡¯t quite see from here. I climbed up to the shelter and ensured that the top would repel any water if it rained. I sat on a big branch in front of the opening as I dug through my backpack. I put some smoked meat inside for my breakfast, then rearranged and fluffed up several warm winter scarves that were inside.


    Once it was arranged to my satisfaction, I carefully shifted and walked into the opening. I curled up in the middle of my comfy nest and rested my head in the opening to watch the sunset.


    The sunset was spectacular, and as I yawned, I noticed movement in the forest below. I peered down and watched a handful of wolves slowly heading east towards the pack border. I had a sneaking suspicion that it was those ferals again. I had already warned the pack, so I remained where I was. I pulled my head inside and drifted off to sleep.


    Hours later, I woke to howls in the distance. It sounded like the ferals had launched their attack. Unfortunately for the ferals, I recognized the howl of this pack''s only Enforcer along with dozens of other fighters. Ferals liked to hunt at night and the pack had obviously been waiting for them.


    As I drifted back to sleep, I wondered if they managed to get all of the ferals or if some had run off. I hoped they had gotten them all.