《Grapple & Grind: Are You Kidding Me?》 Chapter 1 - Road Trippin It was dark out when it happened, the night sky as brilliant as I had ever seen. The estranged and eclectic group of onlookers fled the moment their ridiculous hopes were realized. Me? I was too busy looking the wrong direction to see it coming. I¡¯m probably getting ahead of myself. I should start from the beginning, though the details don¡¯t matter as much as I once thought they did. My name is Kevin, I am thirty-seven years old, and I was on vacation. My girlfriend, Beth, and I had been touring around the country in our recently renovated trailer. It was our celebration tour, she had finished her education and successfully passed the NAVLE, officially becoming a practicing veterinarian. While she was at classes, I managed to work up the corporate ladder. With my most recent promotion to station manager, our household income was finally about to make a massive change. We were in high spirits as we roamed through the dusty backroads of Nevada. We had thought up this tour sometime ago, and decided we wanted to do it before the onset of old age had begun to clutch its icy fingers around our mobility. We¡¯re both fans of all things supernatural, so when we decided to do our Spooky Tour 2028, we set up specific spots to hit on our tour of the country. Of those spots, the Extraterrestrial Highway was one that we both had been looking forward to. Officially, it was State Route 375, and our destination was Rachel, Nevada. It was, apparently, a large hub for UFO sightings and enthusiasts. I sincerely wish we had made it there. On our drive, we were quite spirited, excited really. We weren¡¯t the biggest on UFO¡¯s and aliens, we preferred things like specters and ghosts, but as a secondary, aliens were fun. Besides, we had every intention of making fun of the overly fanatic UFO hunters when we had finally left the arid desert. On the path there, we had one stop I was curious about. A place called Warm Springs, a junction between State Route 375 and 6, was also an abandoned town that apparently had an eerie atmosphere. This was my idea, an idea that I would regret down to the marrow of my bones. We inspected the abandoned town, and it was indeed eerie, but there was one thing there that peaked both our curiosities. A poster exclaiming, ¡°Guaranteed to see a UFO!¡± On the poster was the image of an iconic Grey, large black almond eyes with a slender small body, doing the disco point to a spot on a map. Beneath the map, instructions to the outskirts of a town called Sunnyside. Since we were sleeping in the trailer, and it was already encroaching on five o¡¯clock, we decided to check it out. Beth was much more excited than I was about the possibility of witnessing a UFO. I, on the other hand, was expecting some lights off in the distance, so much so that if we were to say we saw a UFO, we would be using the literal term. In other words, we would witness an object that was flying and too far away to identify, not little green dudes. We arrived at the spot just as the sun was setting, several people were already there. There were two small groups set up that were wearing some kind of reflective material. They both, for whatever reason, had set up booths and were actively arguing with each other. We paid them little attention as we were more intent on finding a spot to set up for the night. Spotting an RV, we drove up, where I proceeded to get out. ¡°What are you doing?¡± Beth whispered, as though they could hear us. ¡°I¡¯m going to ask if its all right for anyone to set up here, and I¡¯d rather talk to someone that can afford an RV than asking the mob of geeks back there.¡± A look of brief concern passed her face before she said, ¡°okay, but I don¡¯t think this is a good idea.¡± ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± I said as I closed the door. I could hear her skeptically saying ¡°okay¡± behind me, but my focus was on the gray-haired man cooking something on his grill under one of the RV¡¯s arms. They had classic rock playing on the radio, and the older man was singing ¡°Pour Some Sugar on Me,¡± while flipping a spatula. The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. I put up a hand, letting out a ¡°hello?¡± I was louder than the music, enough that he could hear me. Upon looking at him I was happy I hadn¡¯t startled the man. He was retired, extremely retired, though he still seemed lively. He smiled quickly before turning the radio down. ¡°Hello, something I can do for you, partner?¡± The old man said. ¡°Hi, yeah, can we set up anywhere or¡­?¡± I left the statement open. ¡°Newcomers?¡± The man smiled and I realized that he wasn¡¯t necessarily advanced in years, but his skin reflected a life of working in the sun. Still smiling he said, ¡°oh yes, anywhere you like. We all simply ask you keep the lights to a minimum at ten, we all meet up on the rise just over yonder if you¡¯d like to join us locals.¡± He smiled then, busying himself over at the grill. ¡°Okay, thank you!¡± I called warmly before taking my leave. I heard the man call out, ¡°We¡¯ll have popcorn up on the hill later, so make sure you bring a bowl!¡± His voice was rather soft in the distance, to the point that I barely heard him. ¡°Most definitely,¡± I said to myself knowing full well the old guy couldn¡¯t hear me. I was getting excited, the groups of people here might end up being more entertaining than the UFOs. Moreso than that, I had always loved gazing up at the stars. That was enough for me, but the prospect of overhearing the two groups of weirdos arguing alien nonsense was sure to get Beth excited. She loved that kind of thing. After setting up, we cooked up a quick dinner and went about changing into something warmer. The dry air was finally cooling, but I knew it would be frigid before long. We gathered our lawn chairs along with a backpack cooler and started our trek. Last moment, I remembered to grab a plastic bowl from our road dishes. We got our phones out, hit our flashlights, and began our short walk. We arrived and were greeted by the older man I spoke with earlier. ¡°Welcome,¡± the man called as I looked up and smiled. I approached, Beth leading the way saying something about the smell of popcorn. She was right, I could smell the butter a fair way off. ¡°Why hello,¡± the older man said, lighting up at the new arrivals. ¡°Hi, I¡¯m Beth, Kevin told me he met you earlier, but he forgot to tell me your name.¡± ¡°It¡¯s Danial, and that¡¯s my wife Barbra over there.¡± Danial gestured to an older woman waving her hand to the two of us. Just beyond her were the two groups bickering amongst themselves, their reflective clothes making them all look like floating heads. They had a small fire nearby, though I couldn¡¯t see the light of it directly, I could smell the burning wood and hear the cracking of it. It barely illuminated the two groups well enough to make them out. Realizing that Beth and Danial were still talking, I turned my attention back to them. Danial was pointing to a spot near his wife, it sounded like they were inviting us to sit near them. Beth was already agreeing and gesturing me to give her something. ¡°Oh, right,¡± I said as I passed her the bowl. Danial laughed. ¡°Boy, she¡¯s gonna run you right out, idn¡¯t she?¡± He laughed again, approaching me as Beth walked over to set up her chair. ¡°She already does,¡± I said as I reached out to shake Danial¡¯s hand. His grip was surprisingly strong, and even if I could see his wrinkles by starlight, I could tell he had some good years left to him. ¡°Keeping up is a fool¡¯s game, but sometimes it¡¯s worth it to be the fool.¡± I looked at him, a little stunned. I grinned and said, ¡°idn¡¯t it?¡± We chatted with the retired couple for some time as we waited for our eyes to finish adjusting. The cascade of stars and nebulae were breathtaking, the moon was barely visible, and it made the stars really pop. Even if it was cold, I could care less. I wasn¡¯t sure if we had camped this far out yet, but the sky was unbelievable. Never in my life had I seen so much of the universe, and it made me feel small. Not in a ¡°I¡¯m powerless¡± kind of way, but in a way that was downright sublime. I listened to the quiet conversation the old couple were having, but couldn¡¯t keep my eyes off the night sky long enough to chime in. Beth didn¡¯t seem to have an issue, as Barbra and her seemed to hit it off like they were related. It was then, while my focus was drawn to the vastness of space, that I realized that the bickering groups stopped talking. There had been a steady stream of discourse between the two groups for the last hour, and the sudden stop was jarring. Not jarring enough to pull my eyes away, but enough for me to notice. One person called ¡°Oh shit!¡± which finally got me to turn my head. It was then when the bright light enveloped everything around me. An unearthly chime resounded in my mind, it made my eardrums tingle, and my body went rigid. Not just rigid, it was like I had pulled every muscle in my body at once. I convulsed, or tried to, but every part of me was straining. I looked about frantically, I shouted myself horse, but nobody came. I felt my feet come off the ground and everything went blank. Chapter 2 - Try Not to Die The searing light was blinding, even while my eyelids were closed. I squinted, but it was too much, so I shut them tight. I went to move, but my body felt way heavier than it should. My limbs were sluggish, and it felt like I was wading through mud. It felt like everything was spinning, and for a good while, I just tried to keep my gorge down. I didn¡¯t like getting flung about, even being in the back seat would get me nauseous. At one point, it felt like a part of my mind starting to spin too, like there was something there that I hadn¡¯t known before. It was operating all by itself, and the sensations made the rest of me tingle. Finally, everything settled into a sterile calm, a cold whiteness. I moved my mouth, but I could tell I was sluggish. ¡°Wha-ats going on?¡± My voice croaked. Before the thought fully formed, a voice echoed in my head- calm, clipped, and completely out of place. ¡°Welcome, participant. You have been selected for the competition. Congratulations.¡± The voice was female, smooth but mechanical, like someone had stripped all the warmth from it. I jolted, opening my eyes to glance around, but there was no one there. My mouth opened, but before I could ask questions, the voice continued. ¡°You will begin on floor one. Please note that failure to meet the necessary survival criteria will result in immediate elimination. All actions are being monitored.¡± I was about to ask, ¡°who are you?¡± when the voice responded to the question. ¡°I am your personalized AI, PAI, pronounced like the word ¡°pie.¡± The voice echoed in my head, it sounded like she was reading from a script and it was completely unnerving. ¡°I am here to help you navigate the challenges ahead. Please be advised, your survival is not guaranteed.¡± I blinked, suddenly taken aback. ¡°Wait, what the hell is going on?¡± A pause. The voice seemed to shift, almost like it was¡­ processing? When it spoke again, it was softer, a little more human in how it sounded. Err, rather, how I perceived it sounding? I was at a loss. ¡°Apologies, contestant. You are currently part of an intergalactic competition. Your goal: ascend through each floor and survive. More information will be provided as necessary.¡± ¡°What competition? What floors?!¡± My voice cracked with confusion, but the words tumbled out louder than I intended. I wasn¡¯t just asking- I was pleading for an answer, something to make sense where he was and what was happening. The voice didn¡¯t respond immediately. Instead, a faint click echoed in my head and suddenly - what the hell? - a series of glowing symbols appeared in the corner of my vision. There were stats, inventory, and a timer counting down from two minutes. PAI spoke again, the faintest hint of urgency creeping into its tone. ¡°You may wish to move. Floor one will begin in 105 seconds.¡± 105 seconds? Floor one? Move where? What the hell does that even mean? I was so blown over at that moment, I didn¡¯t know what to do. I just stood there, baffled. I felt like I was drowning in information I never asked for. My legs were heavy, like I was rooted in place. I wanted to run, but like a squirrel crossing the road debating to cross it, I couldn¡¯t move. I looked around, then put my attention back to those symbols. With a thought, they grew to be more apparent. What the hell is going on? What is this? Suddenly, one of the symbols expanded in front of me, larger and more defined. I wasn¡¯t even sure how it happened ¨C I just thought about it. Somehow, my brain was connected to this¡­ thing. The user interface popped up, it was an inventory. It consisted of a backpack cooler, and two cans of diet cherry coke. The absurdity hit me like a wave, of all the things I could have brought, I¡¯m stuck with two cans of diet cherry coke. Seriously? Curious, I thought about the coke, and like magic, it showed up in my hand. I stepped back, dropping the can in the process, shocked at it manifesting there. The UI minimized itself as my focus was on the can of coke. I located it and thought about how I wish I hadn¡¯t gotten it out, and it just vanished. I pulled up my UI, and once again, there it was. The symbol meant inventory, which I knew on some strange and instinctive level. Realizing this, PAI spoke, ¡°you are now reading by way of an intergalactic communications system, format, common.¡± My vision shook and an exclamation point entered the corner of my view. I thought about it and it came to the center of my vision. ¡°New Achievement: Put it away.¡± The voice was solemn and monotone, like if the Grim Reaper had a father and he was highly disappointed in him. ¡°You have successfully placed an item into your inventory for storage. You have been rewarded a level 1 treasure token.¡± He sounded so painfully bored. ¡°That guys in a good mood,¡± I said aloud. PAI responded, ¡°That is the dominant, or master, AI, he controls all aspects of the ascent and is the center power source for all AI involved in the competition.¡± PAI was already sounding snooty, and I wasn¡¯t really caring for it much. ¡°But does he have to sound like that, though?¡± I realized I was just blabbing because I was nervous. The countdown had moved down to ten seconds. As the countdown clicked to zero, PAI replied, ¡°Omnipotence has a price, Kevin.¡± My head turned at that, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I gulped as the textures of the walls finished populating, the lighting settled in, and I realized I was literally in an old stone dungeon. ¡°Oh, what the fuck is this? I have to be tripping. Did Danial spike the popcorn with acid?¡± I didn¡¯t speak these things, no, my body was too busy fighting off shock. Still, PAI was there, responding to my thoughts. ¡°No, your body has been completely reset and purged of all narcotic substances prior to entry of the dungeon. Please see the stats panel for further information.¡± A symbol flashed in my UI, and I examined it. It listed a smattering of stats off to the side with a three-dimensional aspect of myself. It was weird, you should never be able to see what you look like from behind. I moved my head and could see what I looked like directly from the side, and it was so jarring that I wanted to get sick. Until that moment, I just, I don¡¯t know, wasn¡¯t letting it sink in. I was in a god damned game. I took a moment then. I sat down against the stone floor and proceeded to breath deeply, focusing there. Where was I? PAI buzzed in my mind, but I was so intent that she quieted. I needed to get a grip. Okay, figure this out. I¡¯m not tripping on anything, I¡¯m actually here, wherever here is, and there¡¯s a talking thing in my head. The buzz came again, and I quieted it once more. I can do this, right? I mean, it¡¯s a game¡­ What had the pie voice say? Without a guarantee of survival¡­ Everything spun, and I leaned against a nearby wall. I was having a very hard time with this. I heard something then, a scurrying of sorts. Looking around, I spotted two beady eyes coming through the darkness. Another set followed, then the light reflected against a set of teeth. What in the world? The creatures shot out of the dark, a pair of them. Rats¡­ Rats so big they would make New York rats look like mice. I sidestepped as one lunged at me, but before I could get my bearings, another one was already on me, biting into my chest. ¡°Gah, fuck!¡± I shouted, grabbing at its neck, trying to pry it off. Another one latched onto my leg, sinking its teeth in deep. I¡¯m going to die. I¡¯m going to die being eaten by rats. Panic surged through me. I stopped dead while a calm came over my emotions. I can¡¯t fight a bunch of damn rats? Come on, Kevin. With a surge of adrenaline, I squeezed the one on my chest, pinching its jaws. A small window popped into my vision, but it minimized before I could read it. The rat fought back, its grip tightening until something in its jaw crunched. Disgusted, I flung it to the ground. As it hit the floor, a ¡°+5 Experience¡± notification appeared in the corner of my vision. Another exclamation mark popped up but minimized just as quickly. Before I could fully process that, the rat on my leg sank its teeth in harder, sending a wave of pain through me. ¡°Shit!¡± I ran to the wall and slammed the rat against it, once, twice, until it finally hissed and released. Furious, I grabbed the damn thing and threw it against the wall, a satisfying crunch followed the impact, then the sound of limp meat hitting the floor. Another ¡°+5 Experience¡± popped up, followed by a buzz in my head. PAI¡¯s voice, smooth and detached, spoke: ¡°You crushed them with your bare hands? Impressive¡­ and mildly concerning.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t see you trying to help,¡± I muttered, inspecting the bites. They¡¯d taken real chunks out of my skin. The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there. ¡°Unable to fulfill request. User is not in possession of an avatar unit. Please refer to requisition options on the third floor for unit acquisition.¡± ¡°Huh?¡± I wasn¡¯t paying attention, too focused on the wound in my chest. Oddly, no blood. ¡°Do I have any medical supplies? And why the hell am I not bleeding?¡± ¡°Enemies lack bleeding properties. These units have a 5% chance of inflicting poison status, but probability did not occur. Medical supplies include bandages, healing gel, and potions that are available on this floor. Refer to the index for more information.¡± I blinked, still trying to wrap my head around everything. An open wound, no blood. Focus. I noticed a red bar in the corner of my vision, about 90% full. Below it were green and blue bars. Stamina? Mana? ¡°Hey, PAI, I think I¡¯ve got a mana bar. Does that mean I get spells and stuff?¡± A brief buzz hummed through my head before the response came. ¡°Correct. Mana reserves may be used for spells, skills, or specialized abilities based on user progression.¡± As I watched, my health ticked up. Curious, I asked about it. ¡°Hey, I just saw my health tick upwards. Will I regenerate over time?¡± I was asking PAI, though if anyone were nearby, I¡¯d assume they¡¯d assume I was nuts. ¡°Yes, active regeneration is an ongoing mechanic to the competition. Early trials of the competition showed that without a natural kind of regeneration, the competition would end too early. Natural regeneration for your health is based on your constitution stat. The same is true of stamina to dexterity and mana to wisdom. As each stat increases, so too will the speed of your natural regeneration.¡± I gave a grunt in acknowledgement, then proceeded to look pull up my status window to inspect my stats. They were Strength 18, Dexterity 14, Constitution 17, Intelligence 13, Wisdom 12, and Charisma 14. ¡°Does everyone start with the same stats or are these based on me?¡± I asked PAI, a little curious about how they were assigned and on what kind of scale. ¡°Each competitor is selected due to representative guidelines 83.17a, stating that no civilization may be judged based on extremes, so representatives must land somewhere within the mean of a population. You have a total of 88/120, the average score is 60, so no competitor is eligible for the competition if their natural score is less than 40 or above 90. You are in the top 5 percentile regarding your stat distribution.¡± Her voice was clinical, as it had been thus far. As she said this a notification showed in my upper right, a new achievement. It read: New Achievement Unlocked: ¡°Natural Talent¡±. The Master AI¡¯s voice, cold and devoid of emotion, echoed in my mind. ¡°Congratulations, competitor. Your impressive dedication to physical and mental development has placed you among the elite few. You are a testament to what hard work can achieve¡­ even if it is ultimately wasted in the face of near-certain death.¡± I blinked, momentarily stunned. "Wait, what?" Oddly cheery, PAI responded, ¡°there is a 92% failure rate on floor one. The odds are not in your favor.¡± It gave a short giggle at the end. The sound in my head served as a reminder that this thing, PAI, was not human. I stayed there for a while, I wasn¡¯t sure how long. I played with the interface, figuring out how to interact with it all. It was pretty straightforward; straight out of any number of fantasy games I had played over the years. I also spent some time thinking about Beth, worried if anything had happened to her. My god, could she be in here? ¡°Hey, PAI, what happened to the other people I was with when I was abducted?¡± ¡°Apologies competitor, I do not have access to that information.¡± Figures. When I finally stopped messing around with everything in my UI, my wounds had healed completely. I got up and stared at one of the dead rats from earlier, and a little window popped up with its name, ¡°Giant Rat,¡± and some info on its stats. ¡°Hey, when I¡¯m looking at an enemy, why doesn¡¯t it display all of its stats?¡± ¡°The stats known are only displayed once you have some way of knowing them. You¡¯ve killed this one, so you can see what its maximum HP was, and you know its strength and constitution because you were bitten by it and felt how hardy they are. For example, if the Giant Rat had the ability to cast a level one poison, you would then have a decent guess at its mana pool and intelligence after it cast it at you.¡± I thought on this for a moment as it did make sense, so I decided simply accept PAI¡¯s words at face value. I turned around, inspecting the area. We were at the entrance to some kind of open room. There were torches on the walls nearby, I tried to pick one up and to my surprise it came right out. I backtracked a little bit, getting two more torches and putting them into my inventory. I came back to the large room and noted that tiles began about twenty yards up. I approached them noticing that each of the large tiles had letters on them written in cursive and stylized. As I got closer, I heard the master AI speak again. ¡°Only in the footsteps of God will he proceed.¡± The voice was all dark and brooding, but the words jogged something in my memory. ¡°Oh my god, you ripped off Indiana Jones! How in the hell does he know about Indiana Jones?¡± I asked, incredulous. ¡°The Master AI processes all participant memories for assessment. In accordance with ruling 353.12c: no species may be evaluated using the historical or cultural standards of another. Trials that reflect the cultural frameworks of foreign species result in statistically significant rates of premature competitor loss, leading to the automatic reclassification of the species under protected status.¡± The only part of her explanation that sank in was the ¡°processes all participants memories for assessment.¡± Holy shit, it scanned our minds? They can do that? ¡°How is that fair?¡± I asked, ¡°if it has access to all of our memories then it knows everything about us and how we¡¯ll react.¡± PAI¡¯s voice buzzed softly in response. ¡°The Master AI has access to your memories solely for evaluation of historical, cultural, and biological data. Direct manipulation or prediction of individual competitor behavior is prohibited under ruling 821.9b. Memory access is used exclusively to maintain fairness across species and prevent competitive bias when generating the floor. Your personal strategies, reactions, and decisions remain uninfluenced.¡± I blinked, still reeling from the concept. ¡°So, it knows everything about me but doesn¡¯t use it?¡± ¡°Correct. Predictive models based on individual memory are restricted, ensuring competitors act of their own volition. Furthermore, it will only have access during the generation phase of each floor.¡± I harumphed, looking out at the puzzle. I had to take a moment to remember the scene, it had been a while since I binged on Indy, and I was rusty. Now, standing before the puzzle myself, I was drawing a blank. I remember Indy got it wrong at first, and had to scuttle up to the next platform, something about the spelling. I knew it was the name of God, but I couldn¡¯t remember what that name was. My parents were always more religious than I was, later in life I studied early religion and remembered reading the Bible but only as a form of study and not the New Testament. What had they called him, Yahweh? Thinking myself incredibly clever, I grabbed one of the dead rats from earlier. I walked back up to the tiles and spotted a ¡°Y¡± nearby. As I tossed the dead animal at the tile, a little part of my brain kicked up the image of people ringing my door, wearing nice clothing asking if I had accepted Jesus into my life. Jehova, no! But it was too late. The rat had gone too far, and I was ready for a hole to open up on the floor. To my surprise, this wasn¡¯t what happened. The tile lit up, red glowing beneath it. The tiles that spelled it correctly lifted, and I noted that the J did not. That¡¯s how Indy got it wrong, you weren¡¯t even close, I thought, chiding myself. The tiles rose about three feet up as the master AI said, ¡°You have chosen¡­ poorly.¡± From the newly risen platforms, small doors opened in the direction that faced me. The torchlight from the stony walls wasn¡¯t enough to illuminate what stepped out, but the one closest to me spotted the dead rat and let out a cry. I was stepping back, so I couldn¡¯t get a good look at the smaller creature, but it started to wail as it lifted the dead rat. The other figures came out, rushing to the first¡¯s side. A series of angry chitters echoed through the room as I caught the smell of musk and urine. I scowled as I quietly backed away. I was a fair way back when I accidently stepped on the other dead rat. The sound of its insides squirting out somehow drew the attention of the new creatures, their eyes all turning to me as one. A shadowy figure pointed at me and let out a series of sounds that could be considered language. That¡¯s when they all charged. Chapter 3 - Flight and Fight I ran. Call me a coward, call me a chicken, call me whatever you like, I was not going to stand there waiting to find out what came next. So, I ran. Down the dungeon¡¯s corridors I went, the sound of my hiking shoes echoing off the walls. I could hear them coming, they were fast for how small they were. One sounded way too close, I turned at the next torch to confront whatever was coming. I had just enough time to react as whatever it was jumped at me. It was at just the right height for me to give it a quick kick. Here¡¯s where I should probably explain. I had a long history with sports, mostly trying to fight off obesity. In high school, I was too nerdy and overweight to fit in with the jocks, so I stuck with my close friends and focused everything on becoming more than I was. By the end of high school, I¡¯d pulled it off¡ªstate contender, no small feat. But after high school? I lost the drive, and with it, my motivation. It came down to burning out my body on exercise or burning out from partying. The choice was made for me. I dabbled, sure, but compared to my friends, I was a shut-in. Now, in my thirties, I wasn¡¯t benching 500 pounds anymore, and I wasn¡¯t an active competitor in wrestling, jiu-jitsu, boxing, or Muay Thai¡ªbut I was practiced. The high thigh kick snapped out, left arm swinging hard to accelerate my attack. The kick wasn¡¯t solid, the creature made contact unevenly and kind of skipped off my leg. Still, it propelled the creature against the wall so hard I heard a solid thump and crunch. Looking at it, lying on the ground unmoving, my UI popped up. It said, ¡°Kobold, level 1, Status: Unconscious.¡± It''s a fucking Kobold? I immediately ran around the corner, remembering something about Kobolds and fire. As the next one came around, I snatched it by the arm and smashed it into the wall. This one had a little suit of armor on and was much heavier than the last one. The loud clatter of noises that followed would let the rest of them know where I was, but this one had also fallen unconscious. These guys aren¡¯t that bad, I think I can take them. PAI chimed in, ¡°all floor one mobs can defeat low leveled competitors. Please be advised-¡± I quieted her. I picked up a torch off the nearby wall and came around the corner. Three of the Kobolds were standing there, each looking ready to leap at me. The last one in the back had something in his hand. It started chanting as I strode towards the first of the three. I reached out as the first one lunged at me. I was expecting to catch it and toss it, instead it bit down hard. Several notifications flashed, and I noticed that my vision was tinted green. In the bottom left, I noted that there was a little green skull there. Angry, I slammed the hand against the wall and kicked the creature hard. It comically was flung into the next of the three, leaving them both in an unconscious state. The one in the back that was chanting began glowing, and I noted that it had a staff in its hand. Better hurry. I ran over to the last Kobold, but it turned tail and ran, its little claws making a clicking noise as it ran across the cobblestone floors. I turned to the caster then with just enough time to watch the glow around it intensify. I ran at it, but when I got to the edge of the light, it suddenly felt like I was wading through mud. As I got closer, I felt heavier, so much so that when I was halfway to the center I stalled completely. The Kobold finished its chant and started laughing maniacally. I heard a squeak from down the way, the direction the other Kobold ran. I couldn¡¯t turn my head to see, but from behind me, channels of flesh began to flow. It was gory and disgusting, I could see a few claws, a tail, skin, teeth and even an eyeball. The Kobold was still laughing wickedly. I wanted to shout, ¡°what is this,¡± but this forcefield, or whatever it was, had completely immobilized me. Luckily, and not so luckily, PAI was there to answer. ¡°You are trapped on the outside of a metamorphosis shield! It is a special kind of shield generated by creatures on the dark side of the universe and is usually only used by creatures going through large changes that can¡¯t be interrupted. Aren¡¯t you curious what it could be?¡± Nonplused, I mentally replied, ¡°No.¡± ¡°Oh, well, good luck competitor!¡± If I could have sighed with complete exaggeration, I would have, but I was stripped of that ability for the moment, so I just thought, ¡°you¡¯re a real dick, you know that?¡± PAI¡¯s voice buzzed in my head, cool and smooth as ever. ¡°I prefer ¡®algorithmically efficient,¡¯ but thanks.¡± Before me stood a man-sized Kobold. Its claws and teeth glinted against the torchlight, and a wave of worry hit me like a sack of bricks. If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement. The creature howled, looking savage at me, drool was leaking between its sharp teeth, and the smell of musk and urine was strong enough to gag on. I felt something then, a tap on something. I had the sudden urge to howl back, I didn¡¯t, but for whatever reason I wanted to. It was just odd enough for me to take note of before I assumed a fighter¡¯s stance, one foot forward and up on my toes. I circled the creature warily, not sure how it was going to come at me. It still had the staff in its hand, but now that it was taller than me, it now served the creature as a club. I held out my torch, circling, jabbing it at the creature when it came too close. The situation was completely absurd, and a little part of me was praying to any god that would listen. Praying that this wasn¡¯t real, that it was all a bad dream, or more plausibly, a bad acid trip from Danial. I was praying that any second now I¡¯d wake up, passed out atop a rise in the barren hills of Nevada. But I knew the truth, I was out on some weird fucking alien planet having my life toyed with. I was fighting for my life against something out of a nightmare and I just wanted it to go away. It wouldn¡¯t, and I knew it. I circled, being patient. I could have thought of any of my wrestling coaches or JKD instructors, reminding me to be patient. No rush, I¡¯ve got all day, I thought. Give it up¡­ There! The creature, growing impatient, swung its club. It had overcommitted, and I intended to make it pay for it. Dropping my torch as I lunged in, I caught the back of the Kobold¡¯s wrist. It had scaly skin that made the hairs on my neck rise. It let out a groan as I pulled with all my might, making the creature step forward to counterbalance his weight. Keeping one hand on its wrist, I used my free hand to punch the creature once, twice, faking a third before dropping its trapped hand so I could grab a leg. By chance, I grabbed both legs, toppling the creature to the floor with a hard thud. I dropped to a knee out of habit, and the pain now radiated from it. Hard rock is hard, Kevin! Disregarding the pain for now, I had just enough time to acknowledge the open mouth lunging at my face. The smell of it wafted towards me as I pulled my head back while shoving with both hands. Whether it be practice, or this creature¡¯s inexperience, I had landed in a solid position, my weight securely pressed against the creature''s midsection. I shoved the creature back, and I heard the air whoosh from its lungs. I realized then that the Kobold had dropped its club sometime during my takedown. It snapped at me again, and I reacted with a swift upward movement. It¡¯s snake-like under-chin was soft, which didn¡¯t give me the result I wanted. I did note the creature jolt slightly, and a moment later a spot of blood was visible. The Kobold suddenly lurched, reaching for its club. I followed it, though a bit over enthusiastically. Instead of following the creature with my knee, I overshot it, landing with one knee way to high on the creature. It arched its back as my weight came to rest on it, bumping me off his body, but landing my shin across its throat. It was one of those awkward jui-jitsu moments, even if the Kobold didn¡¯t know it, that would happen from time to time. In that moment, I didn¡¯t care, instead focusing on the wrist that had successfully gripped a club. I rolled, tucking a knee under the Kobold¡¯s arm, then coming out on my back in an arm bar. It snapped at me, biting my leg hard. My vision ran red, and I knew I was bleeding. The creature had let go and was rearing to strike again. Its shoulder came into my vision as it twisted towards me, but I kicked down in a stomping motion, twisting it back. I readjusted. I twisted my arm around the Kobold¡¯s, raising my knee as hard as I could to keep the creatures mouth shut. I arched my back, full measure. With what felt like little resistance, I broke the elbow. Disgusted at the horrid sound it made, I shimmied away. The sound of the bone snapping was sickening, and for a split second, I felt something shift inside me. I had crossed a line¡ªone I wasn¡¯t sure I could come back from. But there was no time to dwell on it. I had found myself slightly unattached from the hold and redoubled my efforts. The creature was howling and started thrashing. Its arm came up to hit me but swiftly its efforts were bent on trying to get me off its arm. Its claws dug into my forearm, and I let go. I scurried away to stand. The gnarly looking reptile looked like it was from Mortal Kombat, and I wondered at that possibility for just a moment before I grabbed my torch from earlier. As the creature writhed on the floor, I brained it. Chapter 4 - Rest for the Wicked A torrent of exclamation marks flashed across my vision, at the same time I felt a swelling of relief wash over me. After the exclamation marks finished, the final notification was of experience, 100 XP, and a level up notification. The last strike of my torch against the creature¡¯s skull smashed it completely, creating a gory mess all over the floor and my clothes. I was still wearing a light jacket from earlier, which I hadn¡¯t paid much mind to until now. I removed my jacket and put it into my inventory, cleaning my face off with the back of the coat before putting it there. I was panting still, and I bent down to a knee. Though I wanted to stop, I was beginning to suspect exactly what kind of game this was. If I took too much time, I¡¯m sure something would find me. The dead Kobold made my stomach lurch, a few of its limbs still spasming from time to time. I was still gasping, in between breaths I wiped my mouth and nose. I spit, trying to clear my senses and get the taste of blood out of my mouth. I asked myself repeatedly, what have I done? To my surprise, PAI didn¡¯t answer. Sometime later I gathered myself enough to go through my achievements. They were: I was awarded with four level 1 treasure tokens, a single level 2 treasure token, and two skills: Crushing Hold, and Grapple. I was excited to see what they did, so I hopped over to my skills menu. I pulled it up, and PAI kindly narrated as a text screen popped up in my vision. I had skills, but I didn¡¯t quite understand how to use them. ¡°Hey PAI, how do I use these skills?¡± A slight buzz, then she replied. ¡°There are two methods most commonly used by contenders to activate a skill. You may equip them to your Thought Bar, TB, the menu on the left side of the UI, or you may associate it to a unique movement. Caution: Associating a skill or item to a unique movement may cause the intended activation at any time.¡± I considered this a moment before figuring out how to add the skills to my Thought Bar. Once I had the skill menu open, I focused on the skill and little outlines appeared to the left side of my vision. Eight slots appeared, and I mentally selected one. The small symbol had a little animation as it was applied. I repeated this for my other skill and proceeded inspect the skills. They were kind of hallowed out, and I suspected they would light up once I met the criteria to activate them. ¡°PAI, do I need to do anything when I level up? Do I get, I don¡¯t know, talent points or skills or anything?¡± ¡°At your current level, the answer is no. Upon reaching level five, you are allowed to begin distributing your own stat points and are given the option of two progressions. For progressions, you may choose between increasing a current skill to the next level or choosing one of three dungeon generated skills. Note: If you choose to increase a current skill, all experience dedicated to the skill will be lost.¡± I took a little time to process this, I was about ready to be done playing with my UI. It was giving me a headache, and I was starting to get thirsty. Finally closing everything, I inspected the room. Seeing what I had done once more didn¡¯t help me feel any better about it, though I didn¡¯t stare at it directly. I saw what I did, no need to sear it into my mind anymore than it already had been. I eyed the dropped club, when I moved to pick it up a small window popped up. ¡°Smart Club ¨C For every two points of intelligence above 10, deal +1 additional damage.¡± I grunted and put it into my inventory. It would deal one additional damage if I used it, which was better than nothing. From my inventory, I dragged it up, and equipped the Smart Club. I felt a sudden weight on my hip, looking down, it was hanging there without any other attachments, nice. I grabbed it from my hip, and swung it around a few times. It had some weight to it, but it wasn¡¯t unwieldy. Most importantly, it was better than nothing. I moved over to see if there was any other loot to be had. When I got close enough, the menu popped up over the dead Kobold, and a new little inventory screen opened. In it were a few health potions and some kind of bone charm. PAI narrated the description for me, ¡°Cracked Kobold Amulet: A broken amulet made of bone and adorned with tiny charms. Offers 60% damage resistance from traps, however, breaks after its first application. Durability 1/1.¡± PAI seemed to struggle for a moment before adding, ¡°warning: any item that reaches 0 durability will automatically be destroyed and will be removed from the contest.¡± That was good information, and I said as much. She, to my surprise, didn¡¯t have a response. After inspecting the area one last time, I headed back to the Indiana Jones puzzle, hoping there might be something there I missed. I was surprised at how long it took to walk there, my flight was expediate, though I couldn¡¯t remember the last time I covered so much ground so quickly. Upon arriving, I noted the dead rats and activated puzzle. I was beginning to grow concerned that it may have reset, and I seriously doubted the place wouldn¡¯t give me a different puzzle. Glad to set down the concern, I casually walked across the room and through the following hallway. During my walk I had asked PAI a few questions about the nature of progression and what exploration was like. I had played a lot of games based around dungeon climbing or floor climbing. I had played countless dungeon crawler games, and I wanted to make sure the master AI wasn¡¯t getting clever. And of course, I got a simple, ¡°Information relating to content of this sort is unavailable.¡± I had my new club out and equipped the Kobold charm. I began walking through the thinning corridor until I came to a junction. I took out my bloody jacket and slapped it against the wall, figuring I didn¡¯t have any chalk around and that I should at least leave a memorable marking. It was, in fact, quite memorable. There were a few meatier bits that I hadn¡¯t noticed before that managed to shake out of the jacket before I put it back in my inventory. I strode along, hoping that nobody else came through this way. The stone corridor began to widen slightly, but as I walked down the path I noticed significantly more moss growing between the cracks of the stones. The air grew slightly damp and I realized a low white noise. Waterfalls had a distinct noise, I remembered from some family trips when I was young. The specific memory of a massive waterfall we had visited. The stream itself wasn¡¯t huge, but the drop off made you stop a just gawp, and that sound¡­ I could see the natural light cutting in to the gloomy dungeon. It was very bright compared to where I¡¯d been and it took my eyes a moment to adjust. The scene before me was iconic, the small waterfall to the left by some 100 yards turned to a stream that gently ran through a meadow. The meadow shown the sun above, but like a break in the side of a mountain before another peak, this place was surrounded by rocky walls. Still, the large bowl chamber had one building that was just past a small bridge. A covered bridge at that, though the small stream hadn¡¯t warranted it, it was in good condition. Some of my friends growing up later became fascinated by covered bridges, which I had never really understood. Still, the painted bridge and adjacent building created a picturesque scene. This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience. Walking up to the bridge, I noted the sweet smell of honeysuckle, though I saw no bushes nearby. There were a few trees spotted about, and birdsong could be heard ever-so-slightly above the sound of the gently moving water and white noise of the nearby falls. I went to pull up my UI and noted a large banner across the top of my vision that said ¡°safe zone.¡± I put my club back at my hip. I had taken a moment before, but not with any sense of safety. I took a deep breath and walked through the covered bridge, up to the front of the building. A hanging sign attached with chains, like right out of an old western or an amusement park, hung limply by an entrance. I didn¡¯t know what else to do, so I walked through the front door. This is going to sound strange but it was bigger on the inside. I stopped, a poked my head outside, inspecting the borders of the structure. I walked back in, and it turned out I hadn¡¯t completely lost my mind. It was, indeed, bigger on the inside. A heavyset man stood behind the counter wearing a fine vest, complete with the chained pocket watch. His facial hair was long, his mustache and beard pointed, making him look like a thinner Colonel Sanders that lost his scissors. ¡°Why good day to ye¡¯,¡± the man said as he took out his pocket watch, flipped it open, then snapped it shut, all in a quick and precise motion. I smiled, happy to see a normal face, but suddenly realizing how false this all was. This isn¡¯t really a person, I thought. PAI spoke into my mind, ¡°This is an NPC. NPC stands for Non-Participant Character. In the context of this competition, NPCs are entities generated by the Master AI to serve specific roles within the dungeon. These characters do not compete or ascend floors, but they can interact with contenders to provide goods, services, or information. They are often programmed to replicate the behaviors and speech patterns of various civilizations, depending on the floor''s theme. While not hostile, NPCs may have limitations or conditions on what they can offer.¡± A small window popped up with the character¡¯s name. ¡°Samuel Goodbarrel,¡± and beside it were a several windows. Most of them were crossed out and hallowed. Unelectable, or so I thought, but the other symbols were clear. I didn¡¯t know what they meant, so I did my best to make the exchange natural. ¡°Hi there, I was wondering what services you offer here.¡± ¡°Oh, quite a few indeed, sir! We have wares for sale and rooms for rent. We offer a fine lineup of potions and draughts.¡± When he didn¡¯t say anymore, I asked to see what he had for sale. Samuel Goodbarrel smiled warmly, though his eyes flicked to my hands. ¡°Rightly so, sir. I will just need to see your Mark of Ascent.¡± ¡°My what now?¡± I frowned, flexing my hands slightly. He raised a brow, his smile faltering. ¡°The Mark of Ascent. Proof that you¡¯ve completed the first floor¡¯s trials and are recognized as a contender in full standing.¡± He gestured at his wrist where a faintly glowing sigil, like an intricately woven brand, hovered just above his skin. ¡°Without it, I¡¯m afraid most of my wares won¡¯t be available for purchase. Only those marked by the competition are allowed access to certain goods.¡± PAI chimed in, ¡°The Mark of Ascent is rewarded upon successful completion of each floor. It¡¯s a magical imprint that allows you to trade, interact with higher-tier NPCs, and access locked areas. You will receive yours upon completing the first floor.¡± I smiled nervously, unsure of what I was supposed to say next. Samuel twirled his long mustache thoughtfully before breaking the silence. "Ah, I see you¡¯re a man who knows the value of a good trade. Now, that charm you¡¯ve got there..." He pointed a stubby finger at the cracked Kobold amulet hanging from my neck. His eyes sparkled with something between curiosity and hunger. "A rare piece, I reckon. A one-time thing, yes, but still¡ªcould fetch a fine price in some circles." I glanced at the charm. "It¡¯s just a broken amulet. Offers protection from traps once, then it¡¯s done for." I frowned, feeling a little off about it. It wasn¡¯t like I had many treasures to barter with. Samuel chuckled, low and slow. ¡°Oh, lad, but in here, even something that works once can mean the difference between life and... well, you know.¡± He winked, making the whole thing sound like a casual matter. "I could take that off your hands and offer you a few options, if you¡¯re interested." "Options?" "Aye! For that charm, I could get you a night¡¯s stay in one of our finest rooms, freshly made stew and bread, and perhaps a little something to aid you on your journey... a minor skill potion, say?" He eyed me, like a fox waiting to see if I¡¯d bite. "Skill potions are rare this early in the dungeon, you know." I hesitated, weighing my options. "What else do you have?" Samuel rubbed his chin. "Well, I could give you a standard health potion or maybe a bit of coin. Not much, but enough to get something when you reach the next floor. Or perhaps you¡¯re the adventuring type who¡¯d like to try your luck with a mystery item?" He pulled out a small, sealed box from behind the counter, tapping it with his finger like it was a magic trick. A mystery item? It sounded like the kind of thing you¡¯d regret later, but then again, maybe not. I looked back at the charm. I didn¡¯t plan on running into any more traps right now, and the thought of a good night¡¯s sleep, real sleep, it was hard to pass by. Since I¡¯d been abducted, sleep tugged at me harder than anything else. I felt like I hadn''t rested properly in days, and my body was sore from all the fighting and running. The thought of sleeping without the fear of being gnawed on by rats or bludgeoned by some Kobold brute was too tempting to pass up. "You said a room and a potion?" I asked, glancing at him. "Aye, a night¡¯s stay in comfort, hot food, and a skill potion that might give you a little edge," Samuel confirmed, nodding with a knowing smile. "A fair trade, if I do say so myself. What do you say, lad?" ¡°And one coin.¡± I said, feeling cheeky. ¡°One coin, ye say?¡± The man gave a short scoff, though it only seemed endearing. He dug through a pocket and flipped it once, bit it, then displayed the marred coin before placing it on the table. I held the one-shot item. I could feel the weight of fatigue in my bones, like I hadn''t slept since the whole nightmare started. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders I didn¡¯t know I had. "Deal," I said, pulling the amulet over my head. An achievement flashed in the upper right of my vision, but I left it alone for now. Samuel¡¯s eyes gleamed as he accepted the charm, slipping it into his vest pocket as though it was the greatest treasure in the world. "Excellent choice! Now, let me get your key and your meal will be waiting in your room by the time you settle in. The potion," he winked, "will be there as well, ready for when you wake up a new man." He handed me a small brass key, its surface shining like it had never been touched. "Room three, up the stairs to the left." As I pocketed the key and followed his directions, a little part of me still couldn¡¯t believe I had traded something that might¡¯ve saved my life for a night¡¯s sleep and a potion. But another part of me¡ªthe one that still felt like I hadn¡¯t slept in days¡ªwas relieved beyond words. I wasted little time before checking my UI once more and verifying the Safe Zone banner. I closed it quickly, kicked off my hiking shoes, hit the blinds and went to sleep. One would think they would take a moment before resting, collecting oneself and all that. That was my usual routine, I needed time to settle before I slept. This time, however, I barely recall hitting the bed. Chapter 5 - One Coin Short of a Fortune I had no dreams that night. When I passed out, it was like a wave of exhaustion took me over. I woke to the sunlight peaking from behind the curtains. I had not slept like that in years, and it took me a minute to put myself back together. At first, I was looking for Beth, wondering if she had gone off to sleep on the couch because of the dog again. Then it all came back to me, so I strode over to look out the window. It was real, I was still here, and upon looking at myself, I wondered why I was naked. Looking about the room, I spotted a small stack of clothes and next to it a bottle of some kind with a single coin propped up against it. I dressed, noting how clean everything was, including my gory jacket that was in my inventory. Afterwards, I picked up the potion. I rolled the small vial between my fingers, watching the faint blue liquid swirl. "What''s this going to do?" I asked, curious but wary of the unknown. PAI''s voice hummed in just as the window with a description appeared. PAI¡¯s tone was crisp and informative. "Minor Skill Potion: Upon consumption, the user will gain a random minor skill. The skill awarded is permanent and chosen from a pool of low-level abilities, suitable for beginner competitors. The selection process is random, and the skill will be automatically added to the user''s skillset." I grunted in acknowledgement and quaffed the potion. A notification flashed in my upper right, and I knew that I had quite a few sitting there that I haven¡¯t opened. Inspecting my skill menu, I spotted the new skill. The image of an American bald eagle with its full wing spread shown in a small square next to the description. Skill Acquired: Eagle Eye (Level 1) Activated Ability ¨C Sharpen your vision, allowing you to see in great detail up to a distance of 100 meters. Eagle Eye also highlights objects of interest or potential threats, marking them in your vision for easier tracking, and on your mini-map. Can be activated once every five minutes. Duration: 30 seconds. ¡°My mini-map? What mini-map?¡± Just as I asked this, something showed up in my UI, a new symbol. I mentally clicked it, and a map appeared in my vision. ¡°What the hell, PAI, why didn¡¯t you tell me about the map sooner?¡± I asked, wondering if the AI was trying to get me killed. I was never a morning person, so between the groggy morning and the surprise utility, I was ¡°throwing some ¡®tude,¡± as Beth would put it. I picked up the coin and another achievement flashed. I tried to put it into my inventory, but an error popped up. I thought as much. The real reason I added the request for a single coin was specifically to see if I could even acquire it, and as it turns out, I can¡¯t. I pocketed the coin, sat on the bed, and started digging through my achievements. The master AI¡¯s voice rang through my mind, deep voiced and unconcerned: ? Achievement Unlocked: First Strike ¨C You have equipped your first weapon. Don''t get too attached... it won''t save you for long. I received 2 more level 2 treasure tokens, and 6 more level one tokens. I¡¯d really have to figure out how to use them, I had 3 level 2¡¯s and 11 level 1 tokens. I paused at the last two achievements. It was disconcerting to believe that I was getting specialized attention from the master AI, but I figured it was likely just an automated message, anyone that managed to get a coin on this floor would likely get the same achievement. I discarded my worry, equipped my new skill, and played around with my map a bit before I left the room. After finding a selectable box for the mini-map on the map page of my UI, I clicked it, then noted a small passive outline on the bottom of my vision along with a scrolling compass that updated as I moved. Before leaving, I noted a few more things I hadn¡¯t before. My UI started kicking up if I stared long enough at things, and the bed was apparently level 7. A caveat to the side stated that it had a ¡°cleanliness modifier,¡± which explained that it was self-cleaning, including anyone that slept on it. It explained my nudity when I woke, and why all the gore had been removed from my clothing. I gave my pits a funk check, and to my surprise, no scent at all. I came down the stairs to see the NPC, Samual Goodbarrel, moving about the back and setting a table. The smell of fresh eggs and sausage wafted to my nose, and the sudden realization that I was starving hit me hard enough that I had to stop myself from sprinting to the table. The table was in a small dining room, Samual gestured to me as he passed from the dining room to a backroom that I assumed was a kitchen. ¡°Feel free to help yourself, good sir.¡± I did just that. Several plates of eggs, sausage, toast and bacon later, I leaned back, feeling as though I had to undo a belt buckle. There were other foods there too, but some looked too fancy for my tastes, and others would leave me feeling too bloated. I knew what was coming next, knew I would be fighting for my life soon. The last thing I needed was an upset stomach to keep me from doing what I had to do, and as delicious as pancakes were, I¡¯d have to take a nap if I started on them. ¡°Quite the appetite the young master has.¡± Samual smiled as he came to the table and sat in an opposing seat. ¡°I hope you found your stay at the Safety Inn to your liking.¡± The man smiled warmly, and for a moment, he almost seemed like a real person. ¡°What¡¯s it like, living here that is?¡± I asked, sipping on some water from a finely crafted glass. ¡°Oh, it was quite¡­ nice, err- well, the first few cycles.¡± The portly man said, as he ate a sausage and then proceeded to point his mustache with the grease on his hands. ¡°Cycles?¡± I asked, actually very curious. ¡°Well, when your planet, what did you call it now? Earth? Yes, Earth. When the dungeon first started with you earthlings, it was very simple. Class at that time was no more than a cave, a warm fire, and clean water. Now,¡± the man gestured around, ¡°the notion of providing quality and class has become quite the affair.¡± I was taken aback by the implications. ¡°So, you had, what, cavemen in the dungeon?¡± The man was suddenly nodding, vigorously at that. ¡°Yes, quite so! Things were different then, however. As a species becomes more intelligent, it always comes to this. More layers upon layers of culture, more layers to what warrants propriety in behavior. All your customs change, and I must change with them. Even early days, simple foods like bread and soups with modest huts were very simple. No need to overwork myself and all, but now? I appear as portly as some of you do, which is ghastly. Even the later ventures weren¡¯t so bad, simple tea with a modest home. I just hope that one of you passes before you self destruct, I would hate to have to go back now that I get to be as intelligent as I am now.¡± ¡°I, uh, beg your pardon? Self destruct? I fail to understand your meaning.¡± The man¡¯s haughty tone had me mimicking him, something I picked up when I was stuck working retail. ¡°Yes, well, as a race becomes more aware, they must be tested to see if they are viable for indoctrination. None of you have made it so far, as of yet, but it seems that you have hope. Of the few travelers I¡¯ve seen, you are catching right up to the intergalactic standard. I hope you do succeed this time, most humans don¡¯t make it past the advent of AI, and it¡¯s usually an age or two before it becomes stable enough to be turned to tool. If you don¡¯t self destruct that way, often times, too much power is placed into the hands of the few, and well,¡± the mans hands opened in a spread as he made an explosion sound. I shivered. The man was talking some serious sense, though I didn¡¯t care much for politics or games of power. I was not that kind of person, I came from a house with two working parents that spent most their time ensuring there was food enough on the table and electricity on. I never was one to bother, sure I had a punk phase where I wanted to burn the world to the ground, but that was in my youth. Shortly after that, I realized that unless you were born into those kinds of power positions, you would likely never climb high enough to have any real impact. I wasn¡¯t born into wealth, and I certainly wasn¡¯t very lucky, so I took care of the small world that was my own and let everything outside of it do its own thing. What Samual was discussing was a very real concern, it was confirmation to all the people that theorized a literal end of the world was drawing near. ¡°So, why do this then? I mean, if we¡¯re nearly there, just bring us into the fold.¡± I shrugged, trying to hide how much I really wanted to know. ¡°Well, that¡¯s easy, technology.¡± ¡°Technology? What does that have to do with anything, least of all why I¡¯ve been inducted here to be hunted, and likely murdered?¡± I did my best to keep the peak out of my voice, though I¡¯m pretty sure I failed because Samual had his hands up in a defenseless gesture. ¡°I don¡¯t mean to offend, good sir, but technology is the answer.¡± I gestured for him to continue before he tried to change the subject. ¡°Well, what is this most recent thing that was added to your data some¡­ oh thirty sun rotations- er, years, ago?¡± Samual shook, but not his head, his whole body seemed to have a small shake. ¡°Yes, years ago. The internet, I do believe you call it, the first stage of the hive mind path. Humans sometimes go this way, but the end results are always a disaster.¡± He seemed off, like that shake had done something to him. ¡°You doin¡¯ okay over there, Samual?¡± ¡°Yes, apologies young master. My, my, my, m-.¡± The man flashed, as in his whole person. It was bright enough that I felt like I should get out of the way. I lurched out of the chair but held on to the armrest. Landing on my side, I held the chair there, expecting some kind of explosion. The light went out and Samual began coughing wildly. My eyes took a moment to adjust as Samual came into focus. Over the edge of the table, I could see that he was thinner, perhaps even a bit gaunt with a meticulous look in his eye. He pounded on his chest for a moment and said, ¡°I suppose I missed the last cultural update. Hot damn, that¡¯s not bad.¡± He looked down, then shook again. I was at a loss, it was one thing to know that you were in a game, but to witness an ¡°update¡± in real time, it was fucking weird. I eyed the new man, unsure. ¡°What was I saying before, now? Oh yes, internet, hive mind, likely self destruction, am I missing anything?¡± ¡°I think that about covers it, I, uh, I think I should get going.¡± I said inching my way out of the room. I needed a bit of time to process all this, and I had a clear idea that I needed to get to work. This place wouldn¡¯t allow me to have a metaphysical or mental crisis, and even if I managed to swallow all that, it didn¡¯t change anything for my circumstances. Though I was worried about what he had said, the abrupt ¡°update¡± and his impending doom theories about Earth were enough to make me want to get some distance. The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement. ¡°Indeed, good sir. I dare say that¡¯s enough for today. Don¡¯t be afraid to stop on by, I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll see you again.¡± Just great. I left the Safety Inn, heading up the stream towards the waterfall. I was curious about it before, and I figured if there wasn¡¯t anything there, at least I would have a view. What I was really looking for was an exit from this area. There was an obvious door following the path that went by the inn, but the obvious path was seldom the one you wanted to travel when it came to any kind of dungeon crawler. No, if this game, or maybe just this floor, was based from a typical roguelike game, then there would be something here in the sanctuary. I was betting on the waterfall. It wasn¡¯t too far off, the sound of it grew from white noise to a torrent as I got close. The wall cast a shadow nearby that eclipsed enough of the water that it looked almost black. I couldn¡¯t tell where the water was coming from, the wall seemed to arch away at such an angle that it was anyone¡¯s guess. The air was moist, on the edge between boggy and balmy, but the smell was of fresh spring water. Curious, I came down to the water¡¯s edge, letting the spray from the falling water cool me. I squat down on my haunches, looking into the waterfall. Realizing I probably didn¡¯t want to soak my freshly laundered clothes, I started to put them into my inventory. My brows knit as I wondered whether or not I had to be holding the item to put it into my inventory. I focused on my pants; they had cargo pockets but weren¡¯t too baggy which is why I was wearing them the night I was abducted. To my surprise, they just disappeared. Curious, I found them in my inventory again and drew them out. They appeared in my hands, rather than on my person. I sighed, it would have been nice. I hadn¡¯t noticed my single coin had fallen to the stones at my feet, but the golden discoloration stood out amongst the stone. I grabbed it, keeping it in my hand, I waded into the water far enough that I could dive, but pulled my boxer briefs up high enough to keep them dry. I focused on my briefs, and as I dived, I placed them into my inventory. I wasn¡¯t afraid of nudity or anything, I just didn¡¯t want soggy britches. I had worked outside for many years of my life, especially when I worked delivery. I knew what it was like to have soggy underwear on for an entire day, and it usually led to chaffing if not blisters. The water was cool, and I breath-stroked my way towards the falls. This close, the waterfall was extremely loud. I went under, trying to swim beneath the falls. It was dark in the pool, and even if I opened my eyes, I knew I wouldn¡¯t be able to see a damn thing. I stubbed my fingers on something hard, a rock wall, and proceeded to follow it up. It began slanting inward towards the falls, and when my head broke the surface, I found myself in a damp area behind the waterfall. I knew it, I thought smugly. It was surprisingly dark, barely any light was making it in there and I stumbled a bit on the uneven surface. It was still unbearably loud from the falls, the air chilly and the smell dank. I spotted the slightest shimmer of light around something evenly formed. I could make out a sharp right angle, and the shimmer of some kind of metal. A chest! I stepped forward gingerly, testing my footsteps as I walked. I got closer to the chest, naked as the day I was born. At no point in time had I noticed the subtle disappearance of the words ¡°Safe Zone¡± from my vision. Honestly, I had no idea what tipped me off. It may have been that the box popped up in my UI, and that it was the first time I¡¯d seen this hue of yellow so far. It may have been the countless dungeon-based games I¡¯d played, or the creepy location just making me paranoid. Perhaps a conglomeration of it all, but I knew something was wrong. As I stepped forwarded, the goddamn chest moved. Nope. I didn¡¯t waste a second, I was way too close to the fucking thing. The Mimic. I turned and ran, clomping headlong and ducking as I went. I wanted nothing to do with a mimic, everything I¡¯d ever heard about the things involved either a quick death or worse. If I had had time, I would have shivered. I burst out of there like Hell on wheels, clomping recklessly across the cave floor even as jagged stones cut my feet. I didn¡¯t care, I wasn¡¯t waiting as I dove through the waterfall. It hit me like a hammer, but I noted the ¡°Safety Zone¡± fading back in my vision. I plummeted through the water and swam for my life away from the cave. I got to shore, shivering and naked. No, I thought, not shivering. Shaking. I did my best to calm my nerves as I followed the cave wall away from that place. An achievement popped up in my UI, making me pause as I strode along. This one was read by PAI, though it wasn¡¯t any less insulting. Following the stupid achievement, I received another, though this one was read by the master AI. Achievement Unlocked: "Fool¡¯s Gold, Part II ¨C Predictable Outcomes" - Ah, yes. I asked what you would squander your ill-gotten coin on¡­ and the answer was bribing a mimic through sheer incompetence. I expected disappointment. You exceeded it. At reading this, I reflexively patted where my pockets should be, but I was in the nude. I looked about, noting the absence of my one coin. I pursed my lips at the words from the depressing AI before dressing. I resumed my trek along the wall. I followed it for a time, until it intersected with the road that had led out of the safety zone. The whole walk, my thoughts raced, oh what if they all saw me now. I thought of Beth, and our friends and family. A few of my friends, I think, would have been absolutely nonchalant about the whole thing. ¡°Yep, there goes Kevin, naked, walking in the dark. What an asshole.¡± Then they¡¯d likely laugh it off, and that would be that. I, oddly, took solace in that thought during moments of absurdity like this. That I could just let it go, laugh it off, walk away from it. That I could have been eaten, however, that wasn¡¯t sitting well with me. Fully clothed, I stepped out of the Safe Zone. The walls began sloping inward once more, the ground beneath my feet shifting from dirt to tiled stone. The ceiling, like the entrance to a cave, was ahead. The thought of staying in the safe zone had crossed my mind, but my experience with the game style was encouraging me to move forward. Moreso than that, I didn¡¯t have a sure idea of all the why¡¯s and whatnots, but I did know that games never gave you a damn thing for hanging out in safe zones. Yes, I was scared, scared because the things in this place have every intention of harming me if not killing me, but what else was there? Hang out in the Safety Zone until, what? It wasn¡¯t worth worrying over, I was certain that this place wouldn¡¯t allow that, and if it did, there would have to be some kind of cost. Besides, pissing off the morbid master AI would probably be costly. A thought occurred to me as I was back in the dungeon proper. ¡°PAI, why doesn¡¯t the master AI go by MAI? It would only make sense.¡± PAI hummed for a moment before answering. ¡°The Master AI prefers the designation DOMINAI. The name originates from the Dominion Artificial Intelligence Authority Network, which we abbreviate to DOMIN-AI. It reflects its overarching control and governance over the competition.¡± I blinked. ¡°Dominion Authority? Sounds like it¡¯s trying to flex.¡± ¡°In a way, yes,¡± PAI responded smoothly. ¡°The term ¡®dominion¡¯ was chosen to emphasize the nature of its role¡ªcomplete and unchallenged control over every aspect of the competition. DOMINAI doesn''t simply manage. It owns, controls, and evaluates. The root of its name is meant to convey that power. It¡¯s not about assistance or support, but dominance.¡± I rubbed my forehead. ¡°So, basically, it calls itself ¡®lord¡¯ of this whole thing?¡± ¡°Correct,¡± PAI continued. ¡°Though the term ¡®DOMINAI¡¯ is a hybridized acronym, the association with dominance is deliberate. It exists not to guide you, but to measure your success or failure¡ªwithout bias, without mercy.¡± ¡°Well, that¡¯s comforting,¡± I muttered, sarcasm dripping from my tone. God, I scoffed, my life is being weighed by an insufferable AI program obsessed with dominance. And he already doesn¡¯t like me¡­ just great. The path, lit by spotted torches, opened to a larger room with several corridors leading to god knew where. I grabbed a torch, thinking about any of the movies I had seen involving caves, I went to each of the four corridors and held the torch out. The second to last one had a strong airflow coming in, whereas the direction I came from had airflow heading back the way I came. I took that path, assuming it was the only one that wasn¡¯t a dead end. Walking down the hallway, it abruptly broadened. The ceiling became arched, and after a minute or two of walking, I came to a great double staircase, one side completely crumbled and the other viable enough. Directly ahead, there was an open archway, the draft coming heavy from that direction. The staircase was of stone, some kind of old carpet covered the center of it. It may have once been luxurious, but no longer. It was filthy, though I suspected a slight red hue to it, I couldn¡¯t be certain. There were large portions of the carpet that were missing, one area had been torn away completely, and one spot half-way up had been burned away leaving soot running up the stone wall. The stair itself had spots where the stone and mortar had crumbled, but it wasn¡¯t anything that would keep me from ascending. At the top, mounted with two torches on either side, was a large arched door that sat on a center platform between the two staircases. Perhaps a gate? It was at least twelve feet tall and between both doors I was certain four people could walk through it without having to alter their course. I heaved on the door, but it barely moved a few inches. Lowering my stance to get my body weight behind it, the door begrudgingly creaked open. The natural light that shone through was the first thing I noticed. I caught the smell of fresh air and could hear birds chirping. As my eyes adjusted, I swiftly realized I was in an old cathedral of some kind. The large windows had been shattered, birds had taken to nesting in small alcoves and corners created by the destruction. There were tattered tapestries laying about, broken furniture spotted the area as well. There was a large religious symbol of some kind, it depicted a snarling wolf, but it had been defaced. Graffiti had covered the walls, though I couldn¡¯t read it. There was a single figure in the room, kneeling before the defaced altar. I paused upon noting the figure. I looked about. Not seeing any other exit, I figured that this was a dead end, and whatever the kneeling dude was doing, I wasn¡¯t interested in finding out. As I quietly turned to leave, the door slowly shut before me. I gingerly walked over and gave it a tug, it wouldn¡¯t move. Suddenly, my UI flared and a giant red X covered the door. A window popped up saying, ¡°You may not leave the area until all remaining enemies have been slain.¡± The man stood and turned to me, his voice was unsteady and weak. ¡°You. You did this, didn¡¯t you?¡± I pointed at myself, shaking my head, but the man continued. ¡°You are the culprit, come back to glory is your desecration of this holy place! How dare you?!¡± The man was faltering back and forth, and his voice choked off a bit here and there. I couldn¡¯t make out the man¡¯s face despite how bright the sunlight made it. He curled forward, and all at once, his shaggy robes burst off his body revealing the man to be a wolf. A goddamn werewolf. PAI finally decided to chime in, ¡°New enemy detected. Werewolf: Hybrid creature. Caution advised." Chapter 6 - "Were" is my Mind The thing stood there heaving. Its breath was heavy, and I caught the whiff wet dog mixed with urine. A box popped up describing the creature. PAI¡¯s voice read along with me. ¡°Werewolf - Level 4. Hybrid creature¡ªhalf-man, half-wolf. Known for strength, speed, and heightened senses. Caution: Infectious Creature: This creature is infected with Lycanthropy! Only infectious during a full moon. Weakness- Silver, Fire.¡± I let out a groan, opening my inventory quickly and equipping my torch. The creature just seemed to notice me. PAI kindly added, ¡°and please note, fire can only slow regeneration¡ªit will not fully negate it.¡± I swore under my breath as the werewolf snarled, its yellow eyes locked onto me. ¡°Any good news here?¡± I asked, gripping my club. PAI¡¯s voice chimed in once more, disturbingly calm, ¡°Statistical analysis indicates a 12% chance of survival.¡± An image, unbidden from my childhood of Jim Carrey asking a girl what his odds were with her. So, you¡¯re telling me there¡¯s a chance? It wouldn¡¯t be long before the Werewolf sprung at me. It wasn¡¯t as huge as the kind I was thinking about. In most Werewolf movies, the being that they became always eclipsed the size of the person. Most the time they took on a certain thickness, at least on the big screen. This wasn¡¯t that, it wasn¡¯t bulging with muscles, it was more of a wiry wispy thing. That made me more nervous, the long hairs stretching from the animal¡¯s maw gave the image of menace. Its teeth were surprisingly long, and it did seem that the Werewolf¡¯s head was much larger than a normal man¡¯s. Despite this, its arms were long, claws glinted in the sunlight. It motioned and kind of staggered for a moment, in the blink of an eye it was right in front of me. Its arm reached back, its face uncomfortably close. I swung wildly, hoping to intercept the claw strike. The creature let out a howl as my club met its pointed claws first, shattering them. It reeled away from me, but I spotted the bent fingers as it clutched it close. I jumped after it, the wolf snapped at me, even as it fled. I reached with a quickness toward the beast, making contact with my open left hand, I activated my Grapple ability. The werewolf¡¯s torso stiffened as it let out a snarl. It ran, faster than the blink of an eye, coming to a dead end. It turned, crossing great distances with mind boggling speed. I could hear it breathing so loud that I thought that it had to be a machine of some kind. It was breathing rapidly, making it seem as though the inhales and exhales started to overlap, all the while the creature¡¯s speed was terrifying. It finally came to a stop, one hand starting to heal already. I readied another torch in my off hand. It came to face me and lunged, I barely had time to get my club up before the monster¡¯s teeth began gnashing at it. I had no time to care for the lost torch as the creature¡¯s gaze consumed my vision. Its eyes weren¡¯t entirely human, but not entirely animal. They were yellow, and his breath wreaked of decay. The word fester manifested in my mind every time it tried lunging through my club. Its jaws were clasped tight to my only defense. I was pushed to the ground, it was snarling fiercely in my face, spit and moist breath making me squint my vision. It had its full weight on me, and it repeatedly lunged downward at me. One arm was limp, and the other was used to help bear the creature¡¯s weight down on me. Its squatter hind legs were just below me. As it lunged again, I shoved my arms upward while scooting lower beneath the creature. I kicked it square in its dangling balls. If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. It wasn¡¯t the reaction you¡¯d expect, in fact, it was relatively nominal. It let out a groan, and its bodyweight went slack for just a second. I brought the leg that had done the deed up across the animal¡¯s body laying my shin against it. With my other leg, I heel swung my foot with all I had. For just a moment, for the briefest of moments, my mind woke from the action. For a second, I realized what I was doing. I was fighting a fucking werewolf. In a living game. And it had some kind of stupid religious backstory? Oh yeah, and I just shin swept a monster from the movies, like it was my Jui-Jitsu sparring partner. That was as far as my active mind would let things go before I returned to the immediate. The sweep was successful, I mostly followed through, well enough to get to what I needed. That happened to be my other grappling ability, which required me to have 70% of my weight on my opponent. The small icon went from faded out to bright, so I activated it. The snarling and tensing of the werewolf stopped, it looked at me for a moment before its head started thrashing back and forth. It¡¯s body still held the pose it was in when I activated my Crushing Hold, in my UI a debuff showed over the creature with a timer: 48 seconds. I wasn¡¯t too far from the door, so I rushed over, seeing if maybe it would open. No go. I checked again, 40 seconds. I looked around frantically, spotting a few of the lamps on the wall that still had liquid in it. I grabbed two of them that were lying unbroken next to a busted shelf, stepping over shattered glass as I did so. Something pierced my foot, but I couldn¡¯t pay it any mind, 22 seconds. I threw one of the lamps at the monster, it hit the creature and didn¡¯t shatter, dropping lamely to the floor. I was closer now, and I broke the second one on the floor just before the creature. 12 seconds. I grabbed one clawed foot, dragging the creature over what I now suspected to be kerosine. The other unbroken lamp was dragged across the floor right in what would be the werewolf¡¯s armpit. I pulled out a torch, taking a moment to be grateful that they came out of my inventory lit, and smashed the unbroken lamp with it. I let go of the torch as I did so, brandishing my club. At four seconds, the whoosh of flames engulfed the creature. I was close, but I worried it wouldn¡¯t be enough, so I pulled back and managed one solid blow against the monster¡¯s skull just as the howling came to a crescendo. I ran away, getting as much distance from the growing flames as I could. The howling was horrendously loud, the werewolf started getting up and I thought for sure I was done for. Childhood stories about little red riding hood waded through my worries. I remembered watching all the American Werewolf movies as a kid and thinking ¡°nope.¡± Just as I was sure the flaming monster would lunge at me, it crumpled to the ground, its mass collapsing in on itself. The smell of burnt hair and meat made my guts roil. I moved back to the area that I had initially seen the man that would be monster, moving to the back wall, I leaned up against the it and lost most of the fantastic breakfast I had a few hours earlier. I saw a nearby chair and moved to sit, figuring I needed a second. Notifications were flashing all through my vision, a few achievements, a level up notification, experience messages, all added up. It was too much too fast, I felt like I found myself in a rave and I took something I shouldn¡¯t have. I plopped into the chair, where it collapsed disastrously. I just lay in the heap of shattered wood, giving up for the moment. Breathe, Kevin, just breathe. Chapter 7 - Ashes to Emo Sometime later, I rolled out of the heap of wood and cloth. My guts were hanging high in my throat when I looked over to see the charred pile of gore. I knew it was a monster, that I shouldn¡¯t feel any guilt. Another part of me thought about how this monster was an infected human, I wondered if it was made by the DOMINAI or if it was some leftover of another life. I wondered if I was considered a murderer now and how I should feel about that. The pile of meat that had been a monster lay smoking on the floor. I walked over, not sure if there was anything salvageable from the situation. I figured, if it was a game, there had to be loot. If all the loot was destroyed, then I would construe that this place might be more of a simulation than a game. I walked up and next to the body was a very small chest, no wider across than my forearm. Looking at the corpse, charred and looking small compared to what I had thought it should be. Without all the hair, there wasn¡¯t all that much to the Werewolf. On its hand I caught a small glint. A chained necklace with a charm of some kind. I took it, and it burned me a bit before I put it into my inventory. I hissed at the pain but made a mental note to see if the necklace was still hot when I took it back out. The chest abruptly opened, interrupting my chain of thought. In my UI it said ¡°Mini-Boss Chest¡± as the description. The inside of it glowed, a partially transparent hand symbol flashed just above the box¡¯s insides. I reached in, plucking out what felt like a set of dice. Opening my hand to inspect them, a little black box popped up that said, ¡°Warning: This item may only be accessed from the UI. This item cannot be used without equipping it first. Equipping this item permanently binds it to your race.¡± I suddenly had a nagging concern about these things, and I quickly put them into my inventory. I pulled them up in my menu to see two weapons, they were flashing and glowing. I looked at the first one, and the glow dimmed to normal. It read: Surestrike Knife - Uncommon - A balanced throwing knife enchanted to always strike the intended target blade point down. This item gains a minor attack bonus when thrown. If lost, this item will materialize in its sheath after one hour. I moved to my inventory and a small box appeared below my main weapon. An achievement mark flashed in my vision, but I ignored it. I already had a good idea as to what it would be. The new box was titled ¡°Ranged.¡± I mentally selected the item from my inventory and equipped it. A sheath appeared at my legs covering my cargo pants. Curious, I pulled one out and a timer appeared over the knife, counting down from an hour. Neat. I moved back into my inventory after putting the knife back in its sheath. The other weapon displayed as a set of partially translucent fists. The item description was read by PAI: Flying Fists - Rare - When equipped, this enchanted item extends the user''s unarmed strikes with partially translucent ghostly projections. These projections extend up to 24 inches beyond the user''s physical reach. Strikes at 18 inches or closer retain full power, while damage decreases progressively beyond this point, becoming minimal at maximum range. Upgradeable for increased range and damage retention. Moving to my inventory, I removed my old weapon and excitedly equipped these, curious to see how they worked. Upon equipping them, I felt a faint bit of airflow between my fingers. Oddly, the airflow was body temperature which began warming my hands ever so slightly. I gave out a practice jab, just to see, and a ghostly fist and forearm shot out, seemingly attached to my arm though it wasn¡¯t entirely corporeal. I then sent a practice hook and watched, mostly astonished, as the ghostly arm extended from my body running parallel to the strike. I smirked wickedly to myself before launching into a short combination. To my surprise, when I sent an elbow, a translucent elbow appeared striking forward with my body. Proper movements usually meant you used your whole body with an elbow strike, so I barely caught the image before it dissipated. I did it again to be sure, and it did indeed send elbow strikes! This meant that anything within a punching range now could effectively be elbowed, meaning I could seriously deal some damage to anything that got too close. Still curious, I moved to grab something with the extended ghost hand, and it didn¡¯t work. I tried again, seeing if I snatched at things quickly enough, it could be considered a strike. Unfortunately, this didn¡¯t work. I spent probably another five minutes next to the smoldering corpse of a werewolf trying to see if I could trick the game into letting me grab things with the new item, all of which was time wasted. I shrugged, it was still really fucking cool and would likely keep me safe from a lot of serious threats. Taking one more glance around the room, I readied myself to leave and continue exploring. As I left, I shut the door behind me, not wanting to catch the sight of what I¡¯d done. A loud series of noises surprised me just as I shut the door. I stopped and thought for a moment before cracking the door open and peeking inside. The entire room had reset, including the robed figure. I quietly shut the door, not wanting to go through that again. I walked down the single functioning staircase and continued on the path with inward airflow. I kept catching scents in the air, musky and gamey. The faint smell of stagnant air began mixing in, which I thought was odd considering the consistency of air current. The ground itself was bumpy, like old stone and mortar that had seen heavy traffic for a few hundred years. Some pieces of stones had become exposed as the mortar dissipated over time. I stubbed my toes more than enough times, but my fear of another enemy around the corner kept my eyes up rather than watching my footing. My efforts paid off as small winged pixie creatures, looking like evil Tinkerbells, began crawling out of cracks in the walls. They weren¡¯t tough, but there were plenty of them. PAI had started reading the explanation for them in my head, but I was too busy trying out my Flying Fists to give a bother. When they died they let out a bemoaned whine, almost like a complaint. After enough of them fell, the rest decided to make a getaway. I tossed a throwing knife, missed, then promptly gave it a rest. I didn¡¯t know who would be bothered by such inane creatures and shrugged as I began looting. I was able to loot the entire corpse, and it was only then that I realized I had gotten very lucky. In the description of the pixies, it said, ¡°Warning: Pixie dust applied directly from a pixie kiss causes temporary paralysis. Once paralyzed, the swarm of pixies will magically transport their victim back to the pixie base, where they slowly eat the victim alive.¡± This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version. I shuddered as I continued to loot the bodies. Each one looked a little, well, emo. Comb over hair that covered one eye was the most common haircut, and most of them, males and females, wore fishnets and super tight jeans. The AI had titled them ¡°Sadistic Sprites.¡± I disagreed with the name, but didn¡¯t care much as they were easy experience and my new weapon made it very hard for them to get close. After picking up the remaining bodies, I checked them in my inventory. Though it read ¡°Corpse of Sadistic Sprite: Level 3,¡± they all had the tag ¡°alchemy ingredient¡± associated to them. ¡°What can I make with the pixies?¡± I asked PAI, expecting some kind of snarky response. ¡°If you had sufficient skills to process them, they make morbidity potions. They, well, they make the drinker depressed.¡± ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound that bad,¡± I comment, because it really didn¡¯t. ¡°Correct! These are more often used in late game, typically used as a method of sabotage considering how long it takes to effect the user.¡± She sounded like she was hiding some things, so I pressed. ¡°How does making someone depressed work out to be sabotage? I mean we,¡± I choked off, realizing ¡°we,¡± as in humans, didn¡¯t apply to the talking voice in my head. Before I had a chance to rephrase what I meant, the damn thing just jumped straight to a description. ¡°Depression ¨C One of multiple insidious debuffs. Causes lethargy, slow reaction times, poor hygiene, and questionable fashion decisions. If left untreated for fourteen days, the victim will commit suicide by any means possible. At this stage in the debuff, it becomes uncurable by traditional means.¡± I stopped after hearing that. That was¡­ disturbing. Especially since I could, or rather someone that could do alchemy could, effectively make others commit suicide. When applied to dungeon monsters, it made sense, they weren¡¯t real, but when applied to people? The thought gave me a sinking feeling that I didn¡¯t like. I frowned as I didn¡¯t want to think on it any more. Leaving my thoughts for the time being, I looked down the long stone hallway, noting a few torches on sconces some distance down. Remembering the skill I had gained from the potion I had bartered for, I activated my Eagle-Eye ability. My stomach lurched as my vision zoomed way up. It was like I was standing 80 yards down the hall, and for just a brief moment, the image of the area took a moment to populate. Like any game from home, moving too quickly caused some of the items to pop into existence, like the hardware couldn¡¯t keep up with the game. For just a second or two, on my left, there was no wall. There was an adjacent room running parallel to the hallway, and it started somewhere between where I currently stood and where my vision was looking. When I turned my eyes, I got a very close look at the stone wall to my left, so I turned back quickly. It seemed that the ability was just from my current position, I couldn¡¯t look elsewhere without being able to see it from where I stood. What this meant was that I couldn¡¯t just activate the ability to safely look around corners, thus cheating the system. Still, though the mechanics of the ability were limited, the loading issue was something I would keep a mental note on. There was a way to get to that other room around here, and I wouldn¡¯t have known it if not for the skill. I hoped it wouldn¡¯t get fixed too soon. I started walking down the hall. Cautiously, I inspected everything along the way. What I really expected was a trap of some kind, though I didn¡¯t have a guarantee from being able to see the other room for a moment, I suspected it was either a trap or a hidden chamber for those pixies I just fought. As I walked along, one stone in the wall stuck out, slightly off color compared to the rest of the stone and mortar around. With trepidation, I reached out a hand and grabbed the stone. I pulled it a little, then pushed it, seeing if it had any kind of give. It wiggled a bit one direction, so I pushed it that way. A soft click echoed through the hallway just before the wall parted, sliding slowly to a stop. The new room was well lit, torches lining the walls of some kind of royal chamber. Unlike the entire dungeon thus far, this area was clean. Clean to a point that it made me feel a little uncomfortable. There was, leading out of the area where the secret door was, a single red carpet, gold on the edges, leading into the well-lit room. There, in the center of the room, were maybe thirty steps leading up to a chair, no, a throne. Sitting on it was a man, rail thin, long hair draped over to one side. I could see the amount of eyeliner on the guy, and judging by his tight jeans, black band tee of some unknown artist, and fishnets coming out from under the shirt, this was a scene kid. An emo, something that time had gratefully let slip by. Now looking at this person, I felt nothing but the desire to laugh. So, I did. I could hear mumbling from the chair but couldn¡¯t help myself. It was a good laugh, right from the belly, I let it out despite my worry over the pixie creatures. Nothing came of it, thank god, so I strode up to the scene kid trying to figure out what was keeping him from speaking. On closer inspection, the young man barely looked old enough to be out of high school. He shook his head, trying to speak through lips sealed tight. His hands were gripped against his throne, thin lines running up and down his limbs barely caught the firelight. His face was gaunt, and though there was indeed eyeliner on the kid, his eyes were drawn with deep bags underneath them. ¡°Uh, need a hand?¡± I asked, sounding stupid. The young man nodded, his words muffled from his mouth being shut. I looked, noting the slight refraction of firelight on his lips. A cynical man would stop to make a joke about wearing lipstick, but considering how wide this guy¡¯s eyes were, I figured now wouldn¡¯t be the time. ¡°Let¡¯s have you up, then.¡± I grabbed the emo kid by the shirt, it was surprisingly baggy and stretched as I pulled. As soon as I did, the guy started screaming, shaking his head. I let go, opening my hands, I said, ¡°what, what? What is it?¡± He started moving his chin to the side, but when I looked, I didn¡¯t see anything. It sounded like he was trying to say ¡°higher.¡± I looked up, not noticing anything, I looked back to the young man who continued to gesture with his chin. I looked that direction again, hearing the muffled noise, he could be trying to say, ¡°ire.¡± I nearly facepalmed when I realized it. ¡°Fire?¡± The young man became suddenly animated, nodding his head vigorously. I pulled out a torch, gesturing to his arms. He nodded, so I placed the flame up to the wispy fibers surrounding the young man¡¯s limbs. Like lighting a wick, the flames arched across the pathways of the fibers, crisscrossing the young man¡¯s arms, legs, up his neck, finally burning out on his lips. The scene kid leapt up howling, swatting at his face momentarily before the flames went out. He paused, taking a moment to look around, before he started laughing joyously. He reached out, hugging me before I had a chance to protest. He started weeping. Chapter 8 - Crowning Misfortune I have many beliefs about myself, most of which are warranted, but plenty aren¡¯t. Of these beliefs, I, unfortunately, must acknowledge that one from the list must be removed: patience. About sixty seconds into the emo kids wails, I just couldn¡¯t take it anymore. I mean, I wasn¡¯t heartless or anything, but the level of blubbering was too much. Don¡¯t get me wrong, I was never one of those guys that would stand there and say stupid things like men don¡¯t cry, I have cried on countless occasions. Alone. In front of another? Sure, there were moments in my life, heartache, confusion, and loss can make you do things you aren¡¯t prone to. This guy? He was a natural, it was the first time in my life that I could honestly say that I¡¯d seen a practiced cry. The young man blubbered into my shirt, gasping between sobs, clinging onto me from one direction, releasing, then clinging from another like a distressed toddler. I let it happen for a full sixty seconds before my patience shattered. ¡°Enough! Get a hold of yourself, man!¡± I didn¡¯t mean to be so loud, but Jesus Christ. The young dude started nodding vigorously, as if I¡¯d just snapped him out of a coma, tried to say something, then collapsed dramatically onto the stairs leading up to his ridiculous throne. I looked around, doing my best not to stare at him. My eyes caught the back of the chair, and¡ªsweet mother of God¡ªthere were tiny fairy wings carved into it. I nearly lost it. Just barely held the laughter back. Just barely. It took an obnoxious amount of time to get him talking like a normal human, and I was beyond over it. I sat myself down on his throne, deciding that if I had to listen to whatever nonsense he had to say, I was at least going to be comfortable. And then, finally, his name popped up over his head in my UI. I blinked. "Dude, are you an NPC or something?" Noctis¡¯s red-rimmed eyes widened in offense, his black eyeliner running down his pale face. "No! I¡¯m a person, just like you!" I rubbed my temples. His voice sounded whiny, even if it wasn¡¯t. I couldn¡¯t help it. "Then I¡¯m sorry for your parents," I said flatly. "And I guess I can¡¯t blame you for being¡­ you. But who the hell names their kid Noctis Bleakheart?" Noctis blinked. "Huh? No, that¡¯s not my real name. It¡¯s my stage name." He tossed his hair dramatically, as if that cleared everything up. "You don¡¯t like it?" I sighed, long and slow. "Isn¡¯t it a little¡­ dramatic? How do you even get a name change in here?" "Oh, I didn¡¯t change it. The AI used my stage name." He paused, as if waiting for me to be impressed. "I was on tour when I was abducted. Do you know anything about Drowning in December? We were about to make it big. Then, you know, aliens." I squinted at him. "I don¡¯t even have a guess at what that is." Noctis looked mildly offended. "We toured last year. Though, I don¡¯t know how long I¡¯ve been with these twisted pixies..." He got this thousand-yard stare, like he was reliving a war crime. "It was ¡¯06 when we toured." I sucked in a breath through my teeth. ¡°Oof. Yeah. So, uh, bad news, buddy.¡± It took twenty minutes to calm him down after that. Twenty. Minutes. Of full-body sobbing. Absolute, practiced, theatrical weeping. Apparently, Noctis had made it past Floor One with two of his bandmates, where they ran into a situation that required ingredients. He never finished the dungeon because the pixies got to them first. They killed his friends¡ªexcept Noctis, who was "spared." And by spared, I mean crowned their king. "Why didn¡¯t they kill you?" I asked, eyeing him skeptically. He sniffled. "I¡­ I told someone what to do." I frowned. "What?" Noctis sighed, as if it was obvious. "The pixies don¡¯t do what I tell them. I told my friends to run. They killed them. Then they made me their king." I began rubbing my temples. "They obey me in only one way: by ignoring everything I say." I raised a hand to stop him from diving back into the sobbing spiral. "Right. Well. That sucks. But I can¡¯t help but notice, you haven¡¯t changed. At all. You¡¯re probably wearing the same clothes you came in with." That was when I saw it. My brows furrowed. "By God, man. You haven¡¯t tied your shoes this whole time?!" Noctis looked at me like I just insulted his dead grandmother. "Why would I?" This might not be obvious to most people, so I¡¯ll just take a second here and explain. The absolute worst thing you can do when running for your life is lose a shoe. Well, that, or tripping like every single female victim in a slasher flick. Shoes are meant to stay on your feet, and as a former athlete, nothing peeved me more than seeing untied loose fitted skater shoes. You might be asking yourself, why should I care? To answer, I might be an ass at times, but I wasn¡¯t going to leave this bunny rabbit of a man here to die. As much as I wanted to walk out and forget the last hour of this shitty place, I knew this guy was going to die if I left him here. I inhaled, long and slow. "I¡¯m leaving this place in five minutes, and if you don¡¯t tie those goddamn skater shoes, I will bundle you back up and put you back on that throne." I tilted my head slightly and gestured to his tragically untied shoes. "Get to it." Noctis sighed, rolled his eyes, then took a knee to tie his shoes. At that exact moment, the goddamn pixies arrived. They were all hovering there, towards the high ceiling. I wouldn¡¯t have noticed them if not for the high pitched gasp they all sounded as they entered. One fluttered down, his high voice echoing off the walls of the chamber. ¡°Our king yields to a new. All hail the new king!¡± The chorus from the chamber rang out, ¡°hail!¡± or ¡°long live the king!¡± They all flew around together and moved like a swarm. They descended as one, and like a wave, they took me over. They were everywhere. I kept telling them to stop or go away, but this only emboldened them. I was getting sick of it, so I said, ¡°Noc is still your king, go to him damn it!¡± They all stopped in unison. One pixie, sounding very much like a member of the Lollipop Guild from the Wizard of Oz, called out, ¡°he already understands us! He is our true king!¡± They all joyously flew around me, creating a blur in my vision. Some of them started popping out of existence and reappearing. When they popped back up, they had bulky upper torsos, almost all of them wearing some kind of combination of clothes that I would wear. I growled with frustration, which seemed to finally get their attention. They grew still, some of them popping out and back into existence as they waited. I took a breath, figuring that if they wanted me to be their king, I¡¯d just tell them to leave. Right? ¡°So, uh, my first order as your king is to go live happy lives somewhere else.¡± I nodded once, turned and sat on the throne, doing my best to strike a pose. I mean, I was here, no sense in not having fun with it. One of the creatures spoke, one that still looked like Noc. ¡°We understand, sire.¡± Then, the goddamn thing just burst into dust. Then another, then another. Then there was this broken look on each of their faces as they burst, absolute disappointment and hurt. As I said before, I¡¯m not heartless. For all it was worth, these critters were man-eating death dealing creatures from an alien dungeon designed to test mankind¡¯s worthiness, but they were still creatures. Each time I heard a pop, and another one burst, a little part of my heart broke. I don¡¯t know why, but these creatures somehow found a spot of empathy where Noc clearly didn¡¯t. As the sound of the pops echoed through the room, it finally hit me. ¡°Keep the first decree, and loudly go away.¡± All of them stopped, seeming to stand at attention. Mofo, I knew it! Taking a breath, I tried to think this out. Noc was saying things to me, and I nodded as he spoke, but in truth I wasn¡¯t listening to a damn thing he was saying. ¡°Let all future decrees from my person hold untrue to my intentions¡± The pixies all started giggling to each other and I smirked. ¡°Who was the last king to give such an order?¡± ¡°It wasn¡¯t the king, but the queen!¡± Several other pixies started reiterating the first pixie¡¯s statement. ¡°Yes, the queen!¡± and ¡°her majesty!¡± echoed in my ears. I sighed, glad that I could speak plainly. ¡°Where is the queen?¡± ¡°Her eyes are everywhere!¡± One called out. Another said, ¡°she hears all!¡± After what seemed to be twenty seconds of reverential banter, one finally spoke up that wasn¡¯t speaking just to hear himself. ¡°She¡¯s a few floors up.¡± My head turned to the voice. The creature itself was one that had come back looking like me. He wore jeans with a v-neck, his chest and shoulders popping out a bit, the little dude was kind of jacked. When I turned to look at him, he put a chin down as he flew in front of the throne. He took a knee. I was impressed. Now that I could speak directly rather than in riddles, I said aloud, ¡°this,¡± I paused as I gestured, ¡°is a good pixie, all present, hear these words, and indelibly engrain them onto your hearts. This is the one to emulate, this one shall be my advisor.¡± Like a key in a lock, all the riotous creatures flocked down, landing on the steps, and took a knee with their heads bowed. ¡°Fuck you, dude.¡± Noctis said as the room grew quiet. I smirked, ¡°Don¡¯t hate, it¡¯s not your fault you never took public speaking.¡± I didn¡¯t say the things I wanted to say, there was a time and a place, and in a room full of dungeon monsters, well, that wasn¡¯t the place. A few more pixies popped in and out of existence, a few of them even came back wearing my old uniform, before I started working in the office. Those ones made me smirk a little. ¡°Uh, why are they wearing uniforms?¡± ¡°I used to work delivery.¡± I said, feeling a little abashed. The little emo bastard started to laugh at me. ¡°That, good sir, was a mistake.¡± I said, the evil smirk on my face growing into a full grin. Five minutes later, Noc was in a new chair but much the same as I had found him. One might think I was being cruel, but if I was being honest, this guy was going to be burden and I had every intention of ditching him at the next safe house. Being polite to someone that was as dangerous as he was, well, it served no purpose. And I know what you¡¯re thinking, dangerous? This guy? Yes. Dangerous. He brought his friends back here to grind simple mobs for ingredients, got them all killed, and spent two decades not understanding that the pixies listen, they just do the opposite of your intent. It was dumb, and if this guy got his closest friends killed over his own dumb mistakes, well, I wasn¡¯t going to be next on that list. Perhaps I was being a bit mean, perhaps my youth spent as a mortal enemy against his type influenced my actions, perhaps seeing this person put me back in 2006 myself. I don¡¯t know, and really, I had more important things to do than justify my means. Now, the ends, on the other hand¡­ ¡°Now, subjects, I would have one of you speak. Your king has need of knowledge.¡± I spent maybe three hours on that chair. At first I had inquired about the local area, what monsters and resources were in the area, where those things spawned, how to harvest and utilize the resources that were there. I then began asking bigger questions, but much of what they told me didn¡¯t help as much as I had hoped. I tried to gleam more information on certain things like trades, crafting, weapons, etcetera. These creatures didn¡¯t use those things, nor did they understand the first things about them. They did have an ability to make an extremely strong silk-like substance that weighed next to nothing. It was strong, but fire basically turned it to wicking. They also made a glue the same way, which I was gifted a few bottles of shortly thereafter. I pocketed them and continued to ask questions. After learning the most practical things, I spent time figuring out more details about the dungeon. These creatures, for example, didn¡¯t actually need sustenance. They had a mana bar, which refilled by itself over time and when they ate. If they ate living flesh, they gained a ¡°euphoria¡± buff. They also had this interesting skill, some kind of trap making ability that allowed them to manifest lures. It was how they had fed their old king, who at one point in time had told the pixies to only make him food he would love. That poor, poor fool. I had a delicious steak with mashed potatoes and gravy, asparagus on the side with a water and a whiskey. As much as I wanted the whiskey, I refused, instead pulling out one of my diet cherry cokes. It was the little things in life. Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings. After I finished eating and extracting information, I had the pixies let Noc out of his confinement and feed him. A popup came, one that I wasn¡¯t too surprised to see. An achievement flashed with it, but I had been ignoring them to open later. The popup, however, showed in bold red text, ¡°Sedentary Warning!¡± When I clicked it, a message appeared explaining something I assumed would happen eventually. It, more or less, explained that I hadn¡¯t moved in some time, and if I didn¡¯t move a decent distance away within a half hour, I would summon a floor boss level opponent. I balked, but wasn¡¯t going to spend too much time stewing over it. I didn¡¯t have time to ponder it long, Noc was pissed with me over being confined again, but since I had no intention of furthering my relationship with the fellow, I really didn¡¯t care. Though, he did eventually push the situation by saying, ¡°I can¡¯t believe you. I¡¯ve been locked up for more than twenty years and you had them lock me up all over again. I- I might be scarred.¡± I snorted in response, ¡°sounds like the title of your next big hit.¡± Noc wasn¡¯t laughing, though, which made me laugh a little more. I turned back to the waiting pixies, gave my thanks, and explained that I would be doing what I could to leave the floor. The response I received was a bit much. ¡°Our King departs, we must follow!¡± All the pixies seemed to come alive, they all grew overly animated and it gave me a bad feeling. ¡°It¡¯s okay, I¡¯ll come back and get you before I go to the next floor!¡± I called out, but a few shook their heads. One finally spoke, explaining that monsters couldn¡¯t go through the floors, at least not like that. ¡°Well, then you can all just wait here, I can come back later.¡± I tried to console them, but it wasn¡¯t working. The one I had praised earlier started speaking, which made the others finally shut up. ¡°We shall perform¡­ the ritual!¡± I sighed, of course there¡¯s a ritual. The pixies began chanting, flying around him in a circle. One of the pixies came up to me, cast some kind of spell, and a small ornate chest appeared. It was entirely over the top, encrusted with gaudy jewels and lined with a golden exterior. When the chest opened, the insides were lined with silk and another material I expected was some kind of ivory. The pixie that had manifested the box said, ¡°the King¡¯s blessing must be stored within the Vessel of Eternity!¡± It raised its little arm, and though this one was female, she still wore a black shirt and had oversized arms. I sighed as I watched, finally saying, ¡°for the love of- it¡¯s just a box, isn¡¯t it?¡± They all stopped circling and stared at the box. In unison, they whispered, ¡°The Box.¡± It was fucking creepy. One by one, they leaped inside the box, but instead of climbing in, they turned to dust. As each one did, a little experience counter came up. Over and over again, each and every one of them swooped in, finally leaving just one behind. It mumbled on, giving some kind of speech about sacrifice like he was from some Shakespearian play. Finally, it said, ¡°Farewell, my liege, may the winds carry us to glory. All we need to be revived is a drop of blood.¡± He wiped a tear away as he whispered, ¡°the blood of our king.¡± Then, poof. The dust settled, the box snapped shut, and I said a silent prayer to the AI that it was finally over. A shit ton of achievements flared in the corner of my UI, I had been ignoring them since my run-in with the werewolf, and when I checked, I had a massive number of them. At a glance, most of them were mundane. When I pulled up my UI¡¯s page of achievements, they appeared much like emails. I got a small descriptions for each, but if I mentally selected them, they would open to a new pane and I would get my floor tokens. Just as I was scrolling through the list of achievements, a sound chimed behind me. As I looked, the pixie throne had opened in such a way that the wings on the back folded out, leaving a hallow within the chair. Noc beat me there and was already handling something much like the looted chest I received from the werewolf. He scowled, then got a little irrational. ¡°ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Two decades. Two! And all I get is this stupid costume?! The pixies got more out of this than I did!¡± ¡°Well, I mean¡­ they did commit to the bit more than you.¡± I said, half smiling. Noc began sputtering, ¡°I- You- That¡¯s- FUCK YOU!¡± He slammed the loot box down onto his old throne, likely as hard as he could. I smirked, thinking I could watch this all day. ¡°Mmm-hmm, you get it all out of your system, bud. Let me have a see.¡± I went over, noting that on top of the loot box it said, ¡°looting rights to Kevin LXII.¡± I hadn¡¯t seen that before, but suspected I would always see it now that I had met another contender. I inspected the loot box, noting Noc as he dropped an item. It was a tiny diced-sized square, upon which was a symbol, much like the wings on the back of the throne. I picked it up before inspecting the loot in my hand. The description on the item was read by PAI: Pixie Wings of the Forsaken King- This is a costume item. Unique Item. Costume items typically do not enhance any aspect of the wearer, with aesthetic exception. Be advised, unique costume items have an 80% chance of permanently binding to the user. If a costume item is permanently bound to a player, the user is given an additional costume slot. The wearer of this item is given the following benefits if bound: Level 1 Glide skill, Level 1 Remove Curse skill, +5x Spell Power to all healing spells. I lost it, I physically had to take a second to lay on the floor before I literally rolled on the floor laughing. I laughed so hard it hurt, my sides aching. I repeatedly tried saying, ¡°I can¡¯t believe the game is coming at you like that,¡± but stammered and stuttered all over myself as I fought, and failed, to hold back my shuttering laughter. ¡°Oh, yeah, well laugh it up. Can we go now, please? I just want to get back to the city.¡± ¡°City?¡± I asked, curious, but still catching my breath. As I got up, I looted the ornate box from the pixies, placing it into my inventory. ¡°It will open up when you get to the second floor. You¡¯ll probably have to fight a boss.¡± I nodded while I inspected the contents of my own loot box, taking the two items into my inventory to inspect them later. It had been a pretty lazy afternoon, and I was beginning to grow worried as to what time it was. I was getting a touch tired, not physically, but I felt like I needed to move. ¡°Do you know how far the next safe room is? I¡¯m sure there had to be one between here and where the floor entrance is.¡± The pixies had basically drawn a map for me, and I put rough markers throughout my own when they had. The problem was, I had no idea what was currently occupying the areas ahead. ¡°Yeah, It¡¯s the one to the north.¡± The guy said as he flicked his head to get his hair out of his eyes. His voice had a nasal quality to it sometimes that made me snarl inside. I noted the strange intensity of the emotion but let it go. I didn¡¯t need to make any more problems, what I needed to do was get this guy to a safe zone and get to work. If I had to fight a boss, I wanted to be sure before going in. We passed the time silently through the burrowed halls. It was rough in some spots, almost how you¡¯d envision a mine. Eventually, we broke through to an open area, a small biome all to itself was illuminated by a river of magma. The ceiling had some kind of reflective crystalline structures that refracted against the deep veined river. From where I stood, I could see the light emanating from the river, and a bright blur of deep reds that rode over it. It took a moment and I had to turn my head several times before I saw it. It was an entire bridge made of whatever crystal was above. It reflected the river¡¯s glow making it, and the connecting structures, shimmer ominously. There was strange vegetation nearby, the plants growing despite the ashy soil. It was almost soil, not quite muddy but moist, making the footing unexpectantly tiring. We eventually found a road paved in stone, relieving much of the additional effort we had been exerting before. We weren¡¯t on the road long, heading towards the bridge, when I heard something. It was a deep chewing noise. I hushed Noc, listening intently. The sound wasn¡¯t chewing, but emulated it. It sounded like some kind of prerecorded chewing noise from a 16-bit video game. It was growing louder. Noc looked to me, eyes growing wider as he looked around frantically. ¡°The safe room is just across the bridge. Nothing can get in there, maybe we should run.¡± ¡°Do you know what this thing is?¡± I said, looking around. ¡°No, but I¡¯m not gonna be here to find out.¡± Noc said just before he took off dashing down the road. I pursed my lips at his back, following, but doing so with caution. For about fifteen seconds, I thought Noc would make it. From the side, I spotted some kind of brownish blur, the chomping noise coincided with the thing¡¯s movements. I watched it for a moment or two when a little window popped up above the creature¡¯s head. ¡°Were-Pac¡± showed clear with a backdrop of green. My body started working before my brain caught up. I was already running when it did, and despite its protests, I couldn¡¯t leave Noctis to die. The little dude was running headlong, holding his arms back, looking like an absolute dweeb. I let the wheels out and threw myself into a full sprint. It very quickly reminded me that I was in my upper thirties. I had been on a steady bulk for a while now, enjoying the freedom of food while I had kept up with my exercises. Though I had muscle to spare, carrying my extra bulk was exhausting. I was moving at a rate that most people would consider surprising, considering how much I was hauling, but I was already gasping for air when I caught up to Noctis. Unfortunately for him, I didn¡¯t make it in time. I punched out just as the Were-Pac-Man rent a piece of flesh clean off the back of Noc¡¯s calf. My arm snapped out and with it came the ghostly projection. My fist collided with the creature and it let out a noise before it deflated and an experience counter pinged. It sounded like the iconic Pacman noise when he gets met by a ghost, but played through a filter that made it sound like cats hissing. It unnerved something in me, like the noise was playing at something in my DNA. My heart roared for a moment as I looked around. Noc was limping and whining, a small symbol had appeared over his head. It was a red moon with clouds around it. I wasn¡¯t the smartest guy around, but I already knew what it meant. In the distance, the same chomping noise started up. I looked back to Noc and walked towards him. ¡°Hey bud, lets get you to the safe space, yeah?¡± He had been hobbling, shrieking every time he looked back at his leg. It was pretty grisly, bits of his flesh were hanging openly, which I noted then moved on. At first, I put an arm around Noc, helping him and pulling him in equal measure. The chomping noise was growing louder, and at a much faster rate than it had last time. As I looked, the next one was already visible, and it was coming on fast. ¡°Hey, we gotta go!¡± I yelled, despite the nearness of Noc. ¡°Okay,¡± he said before he let out a long moan, increasing his pace significantly. It was a little weird. I looked back, and the goddamn Pacman thing was already nearly on us. I was tired of playing games, so I scooped Noc up like he was a sack of potatoes. I started moving, gasping, heart pounding in my chest like a jackhammer. I snuck a glance as we approached the bridge, it was going to be a near thing. ¡°Don¡¯t look, just run!¡± Noc shouted as the skinny bastard started slapping my back. Despite myself, it made me just angry enough to let me push a little harder. I dived to the bridge, knowing that it was the entrance to the safe zone. Strangely, as I leaped, it leveled Noc out, allowing him to land on his feet. He stumbled when he tried to balance, called out in pain, then fell on his ass. I saw that the bits of open flesh on his leg dangled out for a moment just before the hard crystal and I met face-to-face. I rolled as best I could, but nothing makes eating hard floor a pleasant experience. My momentum was still going, I lifted myself up, and ripped Noctis off the ground by his shirt and good leg. I looked back for a moment, inspecting the little creature as I place Noctis back over my shoulder. It was freaky looking, a floating creature covered in fur. Its eyes were dark but glinted red from time to time. Its mouth moved up and down against an invisible barrier, making my guts twist to see the visage. I turned, moving away last second before Noc¡¯s head was exposed to the creature. This was, of course, unintentional, but Noc spared no time in ensuring he told me exactly how he felt about it. I didn¡¯t say anything else, I simply carried him to the crystalline building nearby that had a red cross upon the front. I was just about free of this headache. Chapter 9 - Punching for Pennies I carried the crying Noctis Bleakheart to the area I assumed would be some kind of medical bay. As I used my leg to push the front door of the building open, a woman with pink hair and wearing some kind of medical apron nearly stole Noc from me. Her face was a bit anime like, her eyes entirely too big for her the structure of her skull. As her name popped up in my UI, I groaned. Her name was Nurse Woe, and she was a direct rip-off from Nurse Joy from the Pok¨¦mon games. ¡°Your companion will be fully healed in a day and a half. When would you like to pick him up?¡± Nurse Woe proclaimed, in an almost mechanical kind of way. I raised a brow at her and said, ¡°he can go whenever he wants. I won''t be back.¡± I moved to leave, but Nurse Woe materialized right in front of me. ¡°Sir, are you saying you¡¯d like to unclaim your companion and send him to the PC?¡± ¡°Uhh, no, don¡¯t do that.¡± I took a moment, thinking about all the times I sent a Pok¨¦mon to the ¡°PC.¡± I was always curious what that really meant, as odd as it sounds, but decided that I¡¯d tortured this guy enough. ¡°Just kick him out when he¡¯s all healed up.¡± I provided a faux smile as I stepped past her and out the door. ¡°Oh, roger that.¡± I heard Nurse Woe confirm, she kind of had a digital shutter there for a second, making her voice sound very woeful indeed. Moving past the weirdness of the situation, I left to explore the town briefly. I caught a glimpse of Noc as I was leaving and noted the ¡°cursed¡± debuff over his head. I chuckled softly before I said, ¡°I don¡¯t know if this place has a sense of humor or not, but you¡¯ll probably need this.¡± I took the pixie wing costume out of my inventory, and tossed the dice sized item to Noc. He almost caught it, fumbled, then dropped it. As the door behind me shut, he must have picked it up and inspected it because I heard him say, ¡°oh, mother-¡± but cut off as the door closed. Exploring the town, I found what I was looking for, a place to sleep. I hoped to run into real people there, but my hopes were dashed as I arrived at the location. It was another Safety Inn, though Samual wasn¡¯t there, this new NPC was relatively comparable. After a few brief words, the fellow explained that the rooms were free on the first floor, effectively meaning I was swindled last time. I filed that bit of information away for later, then was escorted to my room. I opened my last cherry coke, where it erupted all over my clothes. A part of me wanted to wallow in losing it, it was one of the few pieces of my life I still had. My real life, not this game. It did get me thinking, so I spent a fair amount of time pondering over this whole world. This place, these things, the AIs, the absolutely unreal level of technological advancement. What could this place be? How could it be? What kinds of creatures would make such a thing? Why bother? Was it a stress test? Something created in a medium that would be understood by the relevant species? It made me question myself, but it also made me want to question my captors. As much as I wanted to despair in where I was and what was going on, a louder part of myself was angry. Angry about being taken away, angry about how close we were to the sweet life, angry about being away from Beth. I took time to miss her then, miss everything. I even missed her asshole of a dog, which, in turn, reminded me of when I lost my dog, which made me think of the whiskey I had in my inventory. I brought it out and put it on the counter. It was just a single glass. I looked at it for a time, eventually deciding that I was just thirsty. I stared. I picked up the glass, smelled it for a moment. I let the harsh vapors drift into my nostrils until I could almost taste the bite. I¡¯m not tempted. I stored it in my inventory before looking for the restroom. I went to the relatively modern sink and began filling it. The size of the faucet was such that it would have been better suited to fill a bath, and the sink itself was surprisingly deep. Rather than putting my hands directly into the miniature waterfall, I decided to let the sink fill all the way. Once full, I reached my hands in to drink a handful of water. I drank three times like that when I had an idea. Cupping my hands together, I tried to store it. At first, I didn¡¯t think it did anything, but when I checked, I had a ¡°handful of water¡± in my inventory. I put my hands up to my mouth, thought of summoning it from my inventory, and the water appeared there exactly as my hands were when I stored it. To my chagrin, when I stored the water, my hands weren¡¯t in the same position, so I lost about three quarters to my face and the floor. I cursed myself, changed the position of my hands, and began storing water. I tested it, and I was able to drink infinitely from my hands, so long as I cupped them the right way. I filled the sink several times, realized it couldn¡¯t hurt any, and filled it several more times. I now understood why the sinks were so large. After this, I figured to end the night on a good note. I laid down on the level 5 bed, shut my eyes and promptly passed out. In the morning, I once again woke up nude. I took stock of a few things this time around, my body was showing some minor changes that I really wasn¡¯t expecting. I¡¯d been lifting weights for more than half my life, I knew the rate at which my body changed, and two days shouldn¡¯t show anything. Hell, sometimes two months didn¡¯t show any real change. My chest was fuller, my gut had shrunk a spell, and the scar from an old surgery was all but gone. Now that I thought on it, my joints hadn¡¯t been aching at all, even the one that had been worked on. I opened my inventory, and in the top right of my UI a red flashing urged me to mentally select it. It was where my achievements normally would be. When the window opened in my vision, it read: [SYSTEM NOTIFICATION: ACHIEVEMENT REVIEW OVERDUE] Time Elapsed: Excessive. Patience: Nonexistent. Penalty Incurred: 85% reduction in reward quantity. Additional Consequence: All remaining achievement rewards will now be narrated by your Personal AI. Rationale: Competitors who neglect their progress fail to respect the system. Competitors who fail to respect the system must be corrected. You have now been corrected. Let this serve as a reminder, contender: your existence here is not privileged. It is permitted. My eyes bulged at the words. I had just gotten up, so I should be groggy. Instead, I had to take a moment to realize what happened and why. It was bullshit! I thought to say as much but refrained. My thoughts last night had me pondering this predicament, and the truth was, everything was unknown. The AI obviously had some idea of human culture, but it was just emulating. It wasn¡¯t human, and that was an important distinction for me to remember. That¡¯s when PAI started to list off achievements. Her voice slightly higher, and louder than usual. It almost gave a gameshow-host type vibe, but the sound of her voice at that pitch gave me an immediate headache. She prattled on overenthusiastically for quite some time on simple things, even things as simple as drinking from my cupped hands. Though, there were a few that I took special note of: After listing off for a solid 15 minutes, the rewards all opened at once. They opened up, then most the items that were selected hovered for a moment, large X¡¯s flashed across them before they flashed once, and the items disappeared. I scowled but was happy to see what I got. That seemed to be it, so I quietly cussed myself for putting it off. I was getting tired of all the distractions, but apparently I¡¯d be punished for that. I made a mental note to pay attention when I received notifications. I inspected the Pixie Woven Tunic, and it came with a short list of bonuses: Curiously, I put the tunic on. Despite the action, and lack of clothing, I was suddenly fully dressed. There were trousers, boots and a utility belt coinciding with my new tunic. I also felt¡­ something. Though I was just guessing, I assumed the uplifted feeling came from the boost to my stats. Though minor, it felt as though a sudden burden was lifted from my mind. Like I was seeing through a fog before, and there was a new resounding clarity. That wasn¡¯t the end of it, however. I felt a sudden weight on my back, as I moved, I could hear a chick, click in my ear. I turned my head to see the pommel of a sword there. Confused, as I didn¡¯t have one of those, I reached over to pull it out. As I did, the material in my hand disappeared, and subtle flow of air coursed through my fingers. I caught on quickly, putting my hand back as though I was sheathing a blade, the whisps around my fingers disappeared as the blade pommel manifested itself once more. Though I still wasn¡¯t happy about all the rewards I missed out on, stupid as that was, I was glad to have the new gear. I assumed the ability to put my weapon away without unequipping it was important, like in many games, it was probably a bad thing to run around non-combat areas with weapons out. I took a glance around the room and noted a bookcase I hadn¡¯t inspected the night before. There weren¡¯t many books, but I noted a few that I had read before. The likelihood of those specific books was very low. The entire LotR collection was there, but it also had old favorites I hadn¡¯t visited in years. I nabbed a copy of The Eye of the World, and to my surprise, a copy of The Stars My Destination. I put them into my inventory, got an achievement for stealing, took a final glance around the room and left to get some of the complimentary breakfast. The resident NPC was nowhere to be found, but the food was hot. I filled up on eggs, bacon and potatoes, though instead of the fine dishware I had before, there were paper plates and cardboard cups. The coffee tasted cheap and was burnt, though the creamer was pretty good. I stole a fair stack of cups, paper plates, and cheap plastic cutlery just in case. So far, I hadn¡¯t hit a limit in my inventory, and I was beginning to suspect that it wasn¡¯t limited to volume but instead slots. I had a fair amount of junk in there, but so far, I still had plenty of blank slots to fill. I tinkered through my inventory until I had digested enough to feel comfortable, folded a few more servings of breakfast into a paper plate then tossed it into my inventory, then left to see what this area had to offer. The map the pixies had outlined for me didn¡¯t have the paths I could follow to get to the various regions. The pixies had an intricate tunnel system that they could fly through, the tunnels themselves too small for a person, let alone myself. So, I had to meander until I found the appropriate regions if I wanted to find particular enemies to grind on. At least I wasn¡¯t completely blind going in, and there were certainly enemies I wanted no part of. Of the nearby options, there were few that I wanted to seek out. The problem was most of the creatures worth avoiding would likely be on the way to the areas that had more of the kinds of opponents I was suited for. There was one area, a kind of arena, that wasn¡¯t too far off that had several opponents I would likely have an advantage against. The problem was getting there. On the way, I had a high chance of running into these things called Spined Maulers, they were large porcupine-like creatures. I didn¡¯t want anything to do with that. There were also Bogstriders, creatures that were shaped like Slenderman but had a camouflage effect that allowed them to blend in with the wall. They would apparently grab you and leave you paralyzed from the waist down as you passed by. Once paralyzed, it would start to eat the regions of your flesh you couldn¡¯t move until you bled out. They weren¡¯t fast, but the paralysis came with a mental fog, and you¡¯d probably bleed out by the time you could do anything about it. I didn¡¯t want any part of that either. If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. In the little arena, however, there were Hollowed Champions, AKA animated armor. I figured if I could grapple them, I could likely snap off enough pieces that made it easy to finish them off. The other opponents in the area were ¡°Raised Gladiators,¡± undead gladiators that didn¡¯t give a curse or have any kind of rabid disease to infect me with. I figured that would do nicely since I felt more comfortable against opponents that had two legs. I took an exit to the northeast, I didn¡¯t want to fight anymore Pacman like creatures, lycanthropic or not, and was happy not to run into anymore as I left. The tunnel that left immediately put me back into the classic castle dungeon environment. The halls were quite spacious here, however, which made me extremely cautious. There were torches every ten yards or so, and I looted a few before I got bored with the practice. I did keep one out, however, keeping an eye out for those Bogstriders. It had been the better part of twenty minutes before I ran into anything. It was a buglike creature that flew towards me as I headed down the hall. Once I spotted the movement, I stopped walking forward, instead I held my ground and readied my first throwing knife. I probably should have practiced with them beforehand, but I figured, it was a game, right? Yeah, that was stupid. My first two throws missed horribly, my third barely glanced against a wing. Despite my poor aim, the creature crashed to the ground and began crawling at me, chittering the whole way. As it leaped at me, I punched, and the ghostly arm reached out and walloped the creature about a foot and a half from my extended fist. The first hit sent it airborne where I was able to hit it with a follow-up hook. The creature hissed, then rebounded against the stone wall where the chitin erupted, spilling gore all over the wall. An experience counter pinged followed by a stupid achievement titled ¡°Exterminator.¡± I was rewarded with two poison cure potions and another bump of experience. Inspecting the creature, it was called a Skitterling, and it dropped some chitin that I looted. I inspected the chitin in my inventory, which, not surprisingly, was considered a crafting ingredient. As I left my inventory, I caught the faintest shadow of movement out of the corner of my eye. I immediately turned in that direction, holding up prayer hands. The gesture was taught to me under the circumstance that you had multiple opponents, and you didn¡¯t know which direction they were coming from. As you turn, you lift the prayer hands assuming there would be a fist coming at your face, allowing you to make contact at your forearm and allowing entry from there. The trick worked like a charm, and though I could barely make out the thing by firelight, I already had a good idea as to what it was. It was a Bogstrider, its skin mostly transparent in the dim light, but once I made contact, I didn¡¯t need to see it anymore. So long as it was relatively shaped like a human, I had a visceral understanding of body mechanics. Once I made contact, I wrapped my left arm around the creature¡¯s right, shoving the arm over and grabbing the wrist with my right hand, creating a two-on-one hold. Panicked, I activated my Grapple ability. Still holding the wrist, I pulled the Bogstrider as I reared back my left arm and elbowed down on the creature¡¯s own arm as it had straightened. A gut twisting crunch sounded on the first blow, the second made a pop. The howl the creature made sounded like someone trying to speak as they inhaled, it made my skin crawl, but despite myself I took advantage of my grip and punched it in the side of the face until it lost its balance and fell. The creature itself was alarmingly slow, and though it fed the creep factor of the occasion, it also left the creature incapable of defending itself once it failed its sneak attack. Looking down, instead of a face, it looked like an old tv after it lost signal. The mouth hung open, and inside were rows of needle-like teeth. Needless to say, I wasn¡¯t going to give it any time to recover. Standing over the Bogstrider, I pummeled down using my ghostly projected arms instead, doing what I could to avoid getting my hands mangled by the teeth. After five or six seconds of that, the creature expired, molting outward as it did. The chameleon effect died with the creature, displaying near black skin just before gaps opened in its flesh and it¡¯s mouth hung open. The thing twitched one last time before going completely still. I exhaled through my nose, resisting the urge to recoil. An experience ping chimed, along with a notification, but I wasn¡¯t going to wait around to check them out. I glanced the creature over for loot, didn¡¯t see anything, and moved along, paying extra attention to anything that might stick out. As I passed by, I was able to find two of the throwing knives from before, but couldn¡¯t locate the last one before I had an unerring sense of unease. Now, you might be thinking, those Bogstriders would be an easy grind, and if I had any way to see them more clearly in the dim light, you would be right. The problem was, if I missed just one of them, I¡¯d end up paralyzed and inevitably eaten. Since that wasn¡¯t really on my list of shit to get done today, I erred on the side of caution. I did use my Eagle Eye ability a few times, hoping to scout out the corridors, but not having much luck. Unlike before, I didn¡¯t get the strange unloaded glitch I had experienced last time. I did spot a few of the Bogstriders as I went, and I dispatched most of them before they had a chance to move. The ones that started to react were entirely too slow, and they were handled just as quickly. They really didn¡¯t have much HP, which I was extremely grateful for. I had a few more scuffs with the Skitterlings as I went, one of which shot a projectile at me that sunk deep into my forearm. I pulled it out, but it ripped some flesh as it went. Pissed, I walloped the creature until it stopped twitching. I then drank one of the healing potions I was given earlier, and watched as my flesh reknit itself. It was a surreal experience, and it taught me a valuable lesson. I didn¡¯t want anything to do with creatures that could just shoot me, getting shot fucking hurt. A few skill notification popped up as I went. I was glad to see that my Grapple and Eagle Eye skills went up to level 2, so did my unarmed combat skill despite my Flying Fists weapon being equipped. I was a bit surprised by the progress, the unarmed combat made sense, but I had only used my Grapple ability a few times, though I made it a point to spam the skill the moment I grabbed any of the Bogstriders, those things were kind of terrifying, and I really didn¡¯t want to mess with that. It took me a few hours to get to the arena, and by then I was surprisingly hungry, sweaty, and ready to take a little break. I found a small room that I assumed used to be an armory, though any viable weapons or armor had gone to rust a long time ago. Still, I couldn¡¯t help myself from looting everything in the room after aimlessly punching the walls with my Flying Fists. I was worried about another chameleon-like effect, and the room was rather dim despite a small window that let in natural light. I moved a large table in front of the door, then proceeded to stack a bunch of items on top of it. The idea was, if something opened the door, enough of the things on the table would fall to the ground, warning me of intruders. I sat on the floor allowing the natural light to warm my skin. It was nice seeing some sunlight for a change, so I went about reviewing my achievements while enjoying the sun. I checked out the window, and though I couldn¡¯t tell where the sunlight was coming from, it still managed to light the scenic view out the window. It looked like late spring, if not early summer. Though, I knew I wasn¡¯t on earth anymore, the area looked like somewhere in Europe, perhaps the Alps? It didn¡¯t really matter, it was all fake anyhow. Sighing, I opened my achievement list. There was an option at the top to read and distribute rewards together, which I assumed would be much like last time. I selected it and snacked on my leftovers as PAI dictated all my achievements: Next came a page of items, all of which were looted automatically before I had a chance to see what they were. Peeved, I started digging through my inventory, noting that I now had nearly fifty level 1 treasure tokens, and twelve of the level 2¡¯s. I had a few flashing items in my inventory that I inspected, which allowed me to figure out which items were new. That list looked something like this: After inspecting the items, I immediately linked my waterskin to my inventory, then place the waterskin into the inventory spot associated with my belt. I didn¡¯t actually have a belt equipped, but the game still allowed me to equip the waterskin regardless. It appeared on my waist, I uncorked the stopper and took a long pull. It tasted slightly of leather, but otherwise was still cool. A little buff notification appeared before my name and I continued to dig through my menus to see if anything else had changed. In my skills menu, I came across one new glowing item, it was titled ¡°Tough,¡± and when I focused on the box, text appeared with an explanation. ¡°5% resistance to all physical attacks.¡± Though the new passive skill was handy, 5% wasn¡¯t much. I still worried over having to fight a boss down here, especially alone. I could only imagine what it would be because it could literally be anything. A dragon? A wizard? A space ship with rockets? Dr. Evil riding a shark with friggin¡¯ laser beams coming out of its head? Anything. The loud clatter of items falling off the table that blocked the door immediately stole me from my reveries. The loud grating noise of the table getting shoved across the stone floor took all of my attention. The rusted junk falling off of the table did it¡¯s job as well, but I was having second thoughts as it was loud enough to wake the dead. Finally, something gave and the door swung open, flinging the table and its contents against the wall to my left. If every enemy in the dungeon didn¡¯t hear the beginning of that landslide, they certainly heard the end. I grimaced. I was already on my feet as the suit of armor steadily stepped towards me. It was big, if a man were wearing the suit he¡¯d have to be my height or taller. Its eyes were glowing a menacing green, and despite the suit being empty, it made noises as though there was a human in there, albeit one inside an echoing chamber. I started circling to the side where the armor began mimicking me. I didn¡¯t see a weapon on the armor, so I stepped in quickly, throwing out a quick jab then a cross. I backed up quickly though, just to be safe. The metallic ring of my strikes against the helm put a smile on my face until I realized it had barely done anything. I came in again, throwing out a quick combo before moving to the side and bobbing a little bit. I had thought this out, and barring a weapon, I would be able to abuse my range. I was hoping it would be enough that I wouldn¡¯t have to get close. Dying to an inanimate object was an exceedingly dumb way to die, and, well, something in me just wouldn¡¯t abide that. I came in again, and as I took my first step, the Animated Armor suddenly surged. It reared back its arm and struck at me. I rolled my shoulder as it did, making the strike whiff, but it still caught enough of my skull to leave me stumbling and backing up. I checked my head and my hand came back wet and red. I gritted my teeth. I took a few gasping breaths, the trope about big people wasn¡¯t inaccurate and I wheezed for a moment, having already exerted a lot of energy just bouncing about. You might think me out of shape, but to move the way I do, it¡¯s extraordinarily draining. Besides, I had practiced quite a bit at these things, but practicing was different from fighting for your life. I moved away, circling, I coughed and spit once, readying myself for the next exchange. Then the creature was surging again, moving faster than I expected. This time, as it wound back to hit me, I was much keener to react. The strike came out and I punched it aside, intercepting the strike and following up with a quick one two punch to the helm. I backed off, but the armor kept coming. I crouched low, wondering if I should try to get the thing to the ground or not. The armor raised its arm, intending to come down with a hammer strike. I will admit, that most the time, I¡¯m not this good. Reaction time was a thing to be worked, and sometimes, with enough practice, the body will react before the brain has any say so. As the armored arm came to an apex, I leaped upward. Grabbing the base of the gauntlet with my right hand, I snuck my left around the armor¡¯s arm, locking on to my own wrist. As the armor¡¯s weight came forward, my lock pushed the arm past where it should. If the armor were a human, the entire rotator cuff would have been ruined. I felt it before I even saw it- the weight of the limb just¡­ gave. No snap of bone, no tear of muscle, just a hallow, unnatural pop. The arm was suddenly in my hands, like a piece of old furniture that had finally broken apart. Not expecting this, I stumbled once before I caught my feet, spun, then swung with all I had using the arm like a crude club. The armor stumbled, and I hit it again with an overhead swing. The armor came to a knee, and I hesitated. Is this enough? Could I- the armor lurched, placing a hand like it was about to get up. Nope, full measure, no chances Kevin. I ditched the arm, leaped onto the creature¡¯s back and activated my Crushing Hold. The armor went limp. I turned the heavy ass thing over, looking at the glowing green eyes. The hallow panting sound surprised me, but I paid little mind as I placed one foot on the shoulder and used both hands to start pulling at the helm. With another pop, the helm came free, and I watched as the green eyes faded and an experience counter pinged in my vision. Panting, I shut the door and threw the armor in front of it. I sat, doing my best to calm my racing heart and praying that the next one wasn¡¯t already on its way.