《Wizards in space》 Oh Frak Chapter 1 Oh frak! ¡°Oh frak!¡± Matt yelled Dan was laying back in the pilots chair, bare feet up on the dash, old floppy leather hat over his eyes. In one fluid motion he shot upright. Waving his hand through the air he brought up the ships controls and scanned for enemy signatures. The Floating screen was blank, no ships nearby, with a flick of his hand the screen changed to ship wide damage detection, all clear. ¡°Computer asses threats and ship wide diagnosis.¡± Dan said ¡°no enemies detected within 6 astronomical units . Ship diagnosis reports all clear.¡± The ships robotic Ai voice announced Dan looked over at his long time friend and business partner. ¡°what the frak Matt?¡± Matt was leaning back in his copilot seat, mumbling curses, the N.I visor a glowing ring around his eyes. ¡°Frak, frak, frak!¡± He hissed ¡°What is it matt?¡± Dan pivoted his chair and leaned over the center divider towards the co pilot section. ¡°Dude what!!? he demanded, growing more anxious by the look on Matts face. Dan stood and stepped up and out of the pilots section and around the divider . Holding the back of Matt¡¯s chair he leaned in and snapped his fingers in front of the younger man¡¯s face. ¡°Matt!¡±. He said louder. With a single motion Matt dismissed the glowing visor and slowly turned his head, the white light from the streaking stars reflected in his large dark eyes. ¡°Im sorry dude.¡± He said ¡­¡­¡­. ¡°But why the frak would you confirm?¡± The two men were in the small lounge of their space craft, the hum of the engines, usually soothing to the two bounty hunters, did nothing to break the tension now. Matt lifted his head from his hands, elbows propped on the low metallic coffee table in front of him, the small, offending idac disk that contained the information display he had been using was turned off and lay on the table in front of him. ¡°you know why!¡± Matt spit back looking at his partner incredulously. ¡°60,000 Sots, that¡¯s why!¡± Matt continued. Silence filled the small room, the low vibrations surrounding them as their ship slipped through the hyper lane. Matt stared at the disk on the table before looking up at his partner. With a sigh he continued; The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°I mean I was bored checking out that porn site I found with the teleride girls.¡± ¡°the ones with four tits?¡± Dan asked, standing across from Matt, arms crossed and leaning against the galley wall. ¡° exactly¡± Matt said, ¡°then the notification popped out of no where, 60k man, posted on the general bounty boards! I mean damn! We could pay off the ship, buy the stealth plates have them installed, get the weapon upgrades and have plenty left over to bank. We would be unstoppable, I just wanted to be the first to read-confirm, you know, get a leg up on the competition, I mean frak! ¡± Matt pounded the table with his fist causing the Idac disk to jump in front of him. ¡°60,000 is too much. Slag! didn¡¯t that makes you think about it? I mean I have never seen that big a bounty, never even heard of that big a bounty. You didn¡¯t accept it did you?¡± Matt looked up at him again, rolling his eyes, his face a mask of incredulity. ¡°are you fraking joking?? As soon as I read the very fine print and I mean very fine, I froze. It was a complete set up Dan, I mean the terms and conditions were on separate fraking tab! Fraking Fregly man! He frakin knew what he was doing. Frakin toad. That Indi is human waste core!" Matt reached under the soft cushion, felt around before pulling out a bottle of red liquid. He grabbed a dirty glass off the small cluttered stand beside the couch, sat it on the table in front of him and poured in a liberal amount. The shaking in his hands causing some of the liquid to splash on the table. Matt drank half of the drink in one gulp gasped and thumped his chest with his fist, face reddening from the burn as the alcohol slid down his throat. Dan continue to stare at his red faced partner. 10 years younger he was barely more than a kid, 21 impulsive, invincible. They¡¯d grown up in the slums, quickly fought there way up from poverty, out of the slums and eventually getting off the crappy planet all together. Matt¡¯s eyes were closed and sweat began to bead on his forehead. Slowly Dan shook his head and began pacing. ¡°Yea well frak him then! I mean slag, we are under no obligations, I¡¯m sure plenty of other hunters confirmed as well. You know the whole frakin guild may have read-confirmed ¡±. Dan¡¯s voice was anything but confident. His arms were crossed and he stroked his scarred, shaggy, bearded chin. ¡° I mean someone probably already accepted with that payout. I mean you could buy a ship with that payout¡± Dan muttered trying to convince himself of his own bullshit Matt began to laugh, the kind of hysterical laughter that only comes under stress, the kind that could slowly descend into mad cackling if a man didn¡¯t have a strong drink to beat back the crazy. ¡°Aint no frakin spacer here, there, or anywhere taking that frakin job! The frakin navy and marines wouldn¡¯t take that fraking job.¡±Matt said between laughs. Matt finished his drink in one more deep gulp before leaning forward from the worn out synth leather sofa to pour himself another. His hands were steadier now. He looked to the side table and grabbed a large dirty mug, pouring the rest of the contents of the bottle into it he pushed it towards Dan. ¡°Face it brother, we are frak¡¯d.¡± Matt said sighing as he leaned back into the deep cushions drinking deeply from his glass. Dan sighed as he sank into the plush fabric of a faded patchey arm chair. He put his dirty bare feet up on the scratched up metal table next to the little idac disk. He held his Mug out to Matt in toast. ¡°Here¡¯s to being frak¡¯d¡± Matt mimicked the motion, toasting his friend before leaning further back into the cushions. Bringing the glass with the bright red liquid to his mouth he muttered, ¡° Yea frak¡¯d and with no reach around.¡± Frakd Chapter 2 FRAK¡¯D. ¡°Dan! Matt! wake up, sleepy heads!¡± The gravely, croaking voice sounded right above his aching head before echoing throughout the ship. Dan was on his bunk, Still dressed in the clothes from last night, well his upper body was on the bunk his lower half was on the floor. ¡°wake the fuck up! wake the fuck up sleepy heads! ¡± the annoying croaky voice was singing now. Dan groaned before slowly rolling over and groaning again. The voice was coming from the light projected onto the steel hull above him. He didn¡¯t have to look up to know who it was, so he didn¡¯t bother. Instead, he stood unsteadily, swaying as if his ship was riding the waves of a sea instead of smoothly sliding through space. ¡°I know you are there, so Answer the fucking vid you fraks!¡± The croaky voice yelled. Dan hissed and without turning he stretched his right arm behind him his middle finger extended, flipping off the face on the scream above him. Then, leaning forward, he puked into the metal toilet. The voice was still going as he stuck his head in the sink and passed his hand through the glowing sensor for cold, strong water flow. He alternated from letting it pour over his short black hair and taking giant gulps. Finally he sat back on the toilet, the cold water dripping down his back and chest. Above him the Alien was singing, ¡°wake up! wake up! like the most annoying, out of tune, screeching alarm clock in the universe. ¡°fuck off¡± Dan whispered softly, as to not aggravate the pounding in his head. Reaching out he smacked the wall beside him, the projection control panel lit up and glancing over he smacked his fist on the off button, above him the image and sound vanished. He sighed and leaned back resting his head on the cool, smooth, pleasantly vibrating hull. He closed his eyes and for a brief moment the pain went away. ¡°Wake up!!, wake da frak up!!!¡± The gravely voice was singing in an off key operato voice now. It wasn¡¯t coming from his cabin but from down the hall towards the galley. If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. ¡°son of a bitch.¡± Dan hissed and grabbing the sink bedside him and bunk in front, slowly pulled himself up and off the metal toilet. Slowly he turned and angling his body forward so that momentum would aid him, he began to shuffle towards the door and out into narrow hall way. The voice grew louder the closer he got to the lounge. He didn¡¯t look at the screen as he walked pass the yelling frog like creature projection on the wall of the galley. He smacked the holographic control panel on the wall, silencing the annoying voice. Stepping over Matt¡¯s passed out body sprawled out on the ragged red carpet which decorated the small room brightening up the otherwise dull gray metal walls and floor of the ships lounge. The Tumariun female had bought it at a space port from some trader that swore it was from old earth. They met on a gig. She had become his frakn buddy and travel companion for three turns of the star before she found a singing gig on some shitty cruise line. Dan had guessed the fast pace ruff and tumble life of a bounty hunter, slash, space pirate wasn¡¯t for her. Or maybe it was the mind numbing amount of time waiting for the next bounty. Dan liked the life. Find a planet with a nice beach, settle in, get drunk, barbeque, work on your tan, frak like rabbits waiting for the next gig to come, hoping they would come. Yea being broke was a downside but all the rest was great. Anyway it¡¯s not like it was love or anything, just fun, adventure. It always ended. It takes a special type of mental case to become a spacer, let alone a bounty hunter. Leaving Matt in his comfortable spot he made his was into the galley and towards the Caf Machine, the sound was muted but the frog like, alien prick was still visible talking, shouting, on the wall to his right. Dan put his right hand over the offending creatures face and with his left he hit the blinking button to start creating the dark go go juice. He would need it strong for what was coming so he slid the hovering gold label from mid to rip my guts out, kick my brain in, supernova strong. Or so Dan hoped. ¡°Get up.¡± Dan said as he kicked Matt lightly with his toe. Below him his partner groaned, moved a bit before becoming still again. ¡°get up.¡± Dan repeated, kicking him lightly in the ribs again. Again Matt moaned and moved slightly before going still. ¡°get up damnit.¡¯ He said louder a sharp pain pushing through his brain from the noise of his own voice. This time he kicked the man hard in the ribs with his toe. ¡° Owwwww¡±!¡± Matt groaned, rolled to his side and looked up at his attacker. Seeing Dan standing above him a large steel, steamy cup of caf in each hand he Groaned, ¡°What the frak dude?¡± He hissed groaning from the pain in his side ¡°Fregly.¡± Dan replied.