《Adventures of Count Boogula》 Chapter 1 The receptionist glanced up at me, then turned her eyes back to the paperwork once more. ¡°Your name is¡­ Count Boogula?¡±, she questioned. I nodded. She set down the clipboard, eyebrows furrowed in disbelief. ¡°Are you actually a Count? Can a ghost even BE a Count when they can¡¯t own property in the first place?¡±. ¡°Every vampire, ghost, and undead apparition is formally recognized as a ¡®Count¡¯ after graduating from an official university of horrors¡±, I patiently explained. ¡°It¡¯s just like the title of ¡®Doctor¡¯ among you living folk¡±. The receptionist raised an eyebrow in disbelief. ¡°I am also the 213-year reigning King of Scares¡±, I hurriedly added, ¡°so if anything, titling myself as merely a ¡®Count¡¯ is modest¡±. ¡°I¡­ see¡±, the receptionist clearly failed to see. ¡°And what made you decide to take up adventuring, Mr¡­ Boogula?¡±. I raised my head proudly, ignoring the clear insult to my title. ¡°I want to see the world. I¡¯ve met and terrified all kinds of people at my last job, but staying cooped up in a haunted house does get a bit old. Like take a look at this place! No roof leaks, drafts, cobwebs, or dust! I knew human dwellings were immaculately maintained, but I didn¡¯t think they¡¯d be THIS well polished! Not even an ominous stain in sight, just regular stains!¡±. The receptionist surveyed the tavern and the debauchery within, unable to muster a response. ¡°...Well, um, here is your ring, Mr¡­ Count¡­ Boogula?¡±. I nodded happily. Then I frowned. ¡°...I¡¯m sorry, but can this ring turn invisible? Or intangible? I¡¯m afraid I¡¯ll lose track of it if I try to use my abilities¡­¡±. ¡°Oh, no worries!¡±, the receptionist clapped her hands. ¡°There are a rare few human adventurers with abilities like that. The rings are specially enchanted so they don¡¯t interfere with any spells or techniques you may wish to use¡±. This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source. ¡°Oh, perfect!¡±. Lacking any fingers, I slid the ring onto my ghostly tail. ¡°Now then, are there any promising quests in need of my special ghostly talents?¡±. The receptionist smiled. ¡°To start with, there¡¯s a pack of slimes harassing people out on the trail through the forest. Nobody else wanted¡­ ahem, this is a unique chance to distinguish yourself, as an up-and-coming F-ranked adventurer!¡±. ¡°I¡­ see. Beware, slimes! For the moment I became an F-ranked adventurer, your fate was sealed¡­¡±, I turned invisible and quickly ran behind the receptionist. ¡°You shall know terror like no other¡­ Fear will freeze your soul!¡±, I hurried away again, phasing into a beer keg. ¡°And when you beg for the sweet release of death¡­ know that only the dark clutches of Count Boogula await you¡­ AHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!¡±. ¡°Your fate¡­ is sealed¡­¡±, I panted, floating in front of a slime that stared dumbly at me. This¡­ this couldn¡¯t be! My most powerful techniques failed to even faze this creature! Why, this was no F-ranked monster, it was a demon! An aberration of unparalleled mental fortitude that revelled in unspeakable bloodshed and depravity! I shivered as I realized¡­ it must be toying with me! My visions of fear and evil were nothing but naive compared to the depths of hell this creature had seen! Any moment now, it would torment me with arts far darker than I could even imagine. I may be the King of Scares, but before this abyssal nightmare, I was a mere hack! That guild receptionist set me up! No wonder I was the only one to take this job! For who could defeat this spawn of Satan? Who?! Pop! I screamed and phased through the ground as the slime exploded, hoping that my ghostly powers would buy me a few seconds at least. Against my better judgement, I cautiously poked my head above ground, and saw an adventurer with a sword. They stabbed another slime, popping it like a soap bubble. I gasped. Who was this adventurer?! Chapter 2 The adventurer sighed as she wiped the jelly off her sword. ¡°I wonder what my sister¡¯s doing right now¡­ Meanwhile I¡¯m stuck doing grunt work¡±. Her shoulders slumped as she stabbed another slime, recoating her sword in what looked like green snot. She wore plain old hiking boots, pants, and a jacket, the sort of practical clothing a veteran adventurer would wear. Aside from her shortsword, she carried an unstrung bow on her back. I was floored. Were slimes actually¡­ weak?! It couldn¡¯t be! Yet if this adventurer was taking them out with such ease¡­ hmm. This called for experimentation! ¡°[Spooky Maze]¡±, I whispered, channeling my ghostly powers. All around me, the landscape shifted and warped. Lively green hills turned into barren mounds of dirt. Trees withered until they were barely strong enough to hold the bats perching on them. Dark clouds and tasteful amounts of fog drifted across the landscape. Yes¡­ my [Spooky Maze] technique allowed me to effectively create a parallel version of the real world! No mere illusion, I could warp space and time at will within this pocket dimension, with only moderate concern for the real world! My ultimate ability! My masterpiece! My capstone project at the University of Horror! So what if my peers were edgier and scored higher on the tests, when I had perfected my ghostly talents! Now then, it was time to scare an adventurer, one who slaughtered slimes with naught but contempt written on her face! A true nightmare! I giggled as I snuck into the shadows. The adventurer quickly drew her sword as she saw the scenery change, pivoting around to survey the terrain. Her body trembled with bloodlust, ready to spring into action at any moment. ¡°Who¡­ who¡¯s there?? I-I¡¯m warning you¡­ I¡¯m armed!¡±, she threatened. Truly a worthy foe. The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. However, I was no mere zombie fresh from the grave! No vampire hack assigning himself random noble titles without proper accreditation! I was Count Boogula, the 213-year reigning King of Scares! Recently voted ¡°Spookiest¡± in Corpse Chronicle! Time to prove it! ¡°Hieee!¡±, the adventurer let out a startled cry as a swarm of bats took off behind her, exploding into the night. ¡°I can seeee yooouuu¡­¡±, I called out, using [Spooky Speech] to add echoes and sound like a young child. It was a counterintuitive but well known fact among ghostkind that the only thing scarier than children were ghost children. The adventurer was slowly backing away from me now, holding onto her sword like a lifeline. Other ghouls would¡¯ve gone straight for a jumpscare, but perhaps something just a little more subtle was in order. ¡°[Spooky Illusion]¡±, I muttered under my breath. The adventurer jolted upright as a zombie placed its hand onto her shoulder. ¡°AAAAGGGHHHHH!!!¡±, she screamed as she turned around, slashing straight through the head of the mirage, letting it dissipate back into the fog. I could scarcely believe it! Whereas most would shriek and run, all thoughts of defending themselves abandoned, she turned around and decapitated her attacker with a vicious battlecry! Such killer instincts! Even for the undead, well versed in horror and cracked mirrors, that kind of reaction was impressive. I was right after all, this was no average adventurer! I ended my [Spooky Maze], satisfied for now. The adventurer sighed and let her sword drop to the ground as we snapped back into the real world. ¡°Hello! I¡¯m Count Boogula!¡±, I promptly made myself visible. Her face went white as she toppled over into the grass. ¡°...Am I really that ugly?¡±. Chapter 3 The adventurer rubbed her eyes as she woke up. She blinked at me, rubbing her eyes again. Then she scurried away, drawing her sword. ¡°What¡­ who are you?!¡±. ¡°My name is Count Boogula¡±, I reintroduced myself. ¡°Sorry for trying to scare you, I just wanted to see what you could do after you killed those slimes so easily!¡±. ¡°...You¡¯re not trying to possess me? Or eat my soul?¡±, she slowly lowered her sword, but was still tensed up. ¡°Good heavens, no! That kind of magic is strictly forbidden. Besides, why would I want that? Your bodies are like Rube Goldberg machines, only grosser. ¡­No offense, of course!¡±. I felt the sweat beginning to roll down my face, and had to remind myself that ghosts can¡¯t sweat. Was talking to people always this hard? I had loads of conversations with my undead coworkers at the old haunted house, since we didn¡¯t get too many guests. As far as actual humans went¡­ well, I¡¯d mostly just scared them. Casual conversations were a big mood killer. ¡°Well, I guess I should introduce myself, Mister¡­ Boogula¡±, the adventurer said, slowly sheathing her sword. ¡°My name is Phoebe Darkbane III, C-ranked adventurer. ¡­Are you really a friendly ghost? I¡¯ve never heard of such a thing¡±. ¡°Most ghosts are friendly! What, did you think we were all soul sucking monsters?¡±, I joked. ¡°Yes¡±, she replied bluntly. ¡°Such¡­ such slander! I¡¯ll have you know we ghosts have lived for hundreds of years! We are masters of politeness and decorum! Only a few of us hold murderous grudges!¡±. ¡°...Well, you did just create the illusion of some terrifying wasteland in my head¡­¡±. I couldn¡¯t decide which was a greater affront, the idea that a harmless prank was a crime on par with murder, or the dismissal of my [Spooky Maze] as an ¡®illusion¡¯. But before I could interject, she continued. Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°Besides, I come from a family of ghost hunters! We deal with wayward spirits and such, so I¡¯ve only seen the bad ones, I guess¡±. ¡°Oh, so that¡¯s why your last name¡¯s ¡®Darkbane¡¯! I guess there were two ¡®Phoebe Darkbane¡¯s before you, huh? Your family must have quite a history¡±. ¡°Actually, um¡±, she blushed. ¡°...Our family name is officially ¡®Darkbane III¡¯. Somebody thought it sounded cool, I guess¡­¡±. My mouth opened in shock. Such genius! And here I thought ghosts were the master of making up cool fake titles to impress people. We still had much to learn! ¡°So¡­ if you were actually the third Phoebe, your name would be Phoebe the third¡­ the third?!¡±. Her face reddened further. No wonder. With a name like Phoebe Darkbane III III, you¡¯d be the envy of all monster hunters, a hero praised by every bard across the land. I¡¯d need to see about a name change soon. The world would soon tremble in fear of Count Boogula XIII III. ¡°Oh! Amazing names aside, I¡¯m also an adventurer!¡±, I waved my tail, with the copper ring on it. ¡°I¡¯m new so I¡¯m still only F-ranked. Any tips from a veteran adventurer?¡±. ¡°Make sure to pack and budget for rations and travel expenses. People think monsters are bad, but most adventurers are felled by economics. You shell out gold like you¡¯re on vacation forever, and the places you have to stay at¡­¡±, she shuddered. Then she looked at me, as if suddenly realizing I was a ghost again. ¡°...I wonder why you don¡¯t just hire the undead to do this job¡±, I wondered aloud. ¡°Just get an army of zombies and have them take care of it. I¡¯ve known a few, they¡¯re very hard workers!¡±. She only gave a weak smile in response. ¡°...Aside from that, maps are really handy. Getting lost in a dungeon or cave is another common fate¡­ although I guess you could just phase through the walls though, hmm¡­¡±, she furrowed her brow in thought. ¡°I guess it is handy being a ghost¡±. ¡°Yep! Even though I don¡¯t have any hands! Before you become a ghost though, you have to be a zombie first. It takes years to get used to your own stench. Then you turn into a skeleton and spend all your time piecing your own body back together¡­ It¡¯s a rough journey to ghosthood¡±. ¡°I¡­ see. What would you think about maybe forming an adventuring party with me? You seem like you¡¯d be really helpful to have as a teammate with your illusions and ghostly stuff, honestly. I could do the fighting and show you around, and we could take on higher ranked quests too¡±. ¡°Really? I¡¯d love to! Having a travelling buddy sounds great!¡±. This way I can also keep an eye on you, Phoebe thought to herself. Chapter 4 Phoebe barged right into the Adventurers¡¯ Guild, sack of slime juice in hand. I followed close behind, quickly turning intangible to dodge the door swinging through my face. Phoebe swept through the maze of stumbling drunkards with all the grace of a veteran adventurer. She slammed the sack onto the table, some of the snot splattering out. ¡°Now, I believe I was promised an interesting quest. An opportunity to raise my rank, you said¡±. ¡°Thank you¡±, the receptionist replied, as the bag of slime vanished and was replaced with a handful of dirty copper coins. ¡°Although I never guaranteed that it would raise your rank¡­¡±. Phoebe glowered at her, and the receptionist shrunk behind her desk. ¡°Wait, wait! I promise it really is a good quest! It¡¯s from Pollentown!¡±. ¡°Pollentown?¡±, Phoebe questioned. ¡°I haven¡¯t been there in ages. What sort of trouble could they be having?¡±. ¡°Right, well, apparently their queen has fallen into a deep slumber. She hasn¡¯t woken in days and nobody knows what to do. The quest is currently unranked, but the bees are offering a generous reward to whoever can wake her¡­¡±. ¡°This sounds unsolvable¡±, Phoebe frowned. ¡°Us adventurers are only good for two things: slaying monsters and subsidizing cheap inns. Still, it is interesting¡±. ¡°Right? Right?!¡±, the receptionist exclaimed a little too hopefully. ¡°This would also be a great quest for you too, Count Boogula! You said you wanted to see more of the world, right? Pollentown is a very unique city!¡±. ¡°Oh, you want to travel the world?¡±, Phoebe turned to me. ¡°I guess adventuring is a pretty good way to do that¡±. ¡°Come to think of it, what¡¯s your goal, Phoebe?¡±, I asked, now curious. ¡°To become an A-ranked adventurer¡±, she replied, looking far into the distance. Her words were so serious and full of weight that they caught me off guard. The receptionist poked my cheek to get my attention. ¡°She wants to impress her big sister¡±, she stage whispered. ¡°Lucina Darkbane III, A-ranked ghost hunter. Phoebe really looks up to her¡±. ¡°Th-That has n-nothing to do with it!¡±, Phoebe¡¯s face flushed red. ¡°I-It¡¯s not like I want her to treat me as more than a little kid sometimes¡­ Though that would be nice¡­¡±. An involuntary smile crept its way across her face. ¡°A-Anyways, the quest! Yes! Let¡¯s do this quest, Count Boogula!¡±. She zoomed out of the guild, barrelling through the customers and sending some of them onto the floor, though it wasn¡¯t clear if it was her or the alcohol. ¡°She¡¯s in quite a rush, isn¡¯t she?¡±, the receptionist smiled. ¡°You¡¯re the first teammate she¡¯s taken on in a long time. Nobody can keep up with her. But I¡¯m sure you more than anyone else knows the value of patience. You two might make a great team¡±. ¡°Thank you. I¡¯ll accept this quest reward on her behalf, then¡­ and after all that grumbling about inn prices¡­¡±. The receptionist laughed as I scooped the copper coins off the counter and dashed out after her. We walked (or floated, in my case) about half a day before we started to see it, a giant orange hexagonal wall erupting out of the ground. A vibrant blanket of flowers surrounded the walls, with human-sized bee creatures sucking the nectar out of them and then flying back into the city. ¡°Ok, a few pointers¡±, Phoebe began. ¡°This place doesn¡¯t get much human contact, but there is a small pathway through the flowerbed and into the city. Most bees don¡¯t speak our tongue, but a few in the castle do. Never, ever step on any of the flowers or honeycombs¡±. ¡°You sure know a lot¡±, I replied, impressed. She wore a proud smile on her face. Of course, being a ghost I could ignore all that and just fly over the wall like the bees did, but it was fascinating to hear about this town nevertheless. Stolen novel; please report. Two bees guarded the entrance. We showed them our copper rings and they let us pass through the gates into the city. And what a city it was! The ground was covered in honeycombs filled with honey and pollen, except for our little dirt path carved into the structure. Some of the honeycombs rose high into the sky like buildings, with numerous entryways and cavities within. One building was filled with bees sleeping in each little nook, while another had mothers taking care of their larvae, and another still had workers producing the finest honey¡­ actually that last one was kind of gross. I flew up to get a better view and to my surprise, the town was entirely symmetrical, save for the human path marring it. Each building had a central core cavity running through it, most of them holding large stores of water or low-grade honey. The wall on the other hand was mostly solid, with shallow holes at the top for defenders to crouch in. In the center of town was the palace, which was unlike any other structure. It was made up of a ring of tall honeycombs arranged in a circle, protected from above by a solid, semi-transparent layer of crystallized honey. The only entrance was through the front, like a human dwelling. Around the palace itself was a vibrant ring of flowers. The bees had filled those parts of the honeycomb floor with dirt and were using them as flowerpots, essentially. ¡°This place is amazing!¡±, I rushed back down to tell Phoebe. She stopped and looked around, seemingly for the first time. ¡°I guess it is, isn¡¯t it? You don¡¯t often get to see it, either. Bees really keep to themselves. The last time I went here, it was because of the White Bee¡­¡±. ¡°The White Bee?¡±, I asked. She nodded. ¡°It had white and black stripes. Was killing both people and its fellow bees alike. So the rumors say, anyways. I never got to see it, and the survivors¡¯ accounts were all muddled. Eventually the incidents just stopped, and that was that¡±. ¡°What a strange creature¡±, I turned back to the city. ¡°This place is like a utopia. I wonder why it went crazy like that¡±. ¡°Well, the bards back then would tell you that it got a taste of human blood, and could never go back to pollen again¡±, she smirked. ¡°Me personally? I don¡¯t think this place is what it seems. Sure, the bees know nothing of war and never lack purpose. They have no dreams or goals beyond bettering the hive today. In a way, its enviable. But they¡¯re also just slaves. Maybe the White Bee just wanted a real sense of identity, of feeling special and unique¡±. I had no response. Before I knew it, we were entering the palace gates. The sleeping queen was gigantic, double the size of the others. One attendant was trying to tickle her with its wings, while another was directing a choir of singing¡­ yes, singing bees. Around this pandemonium, one large bee was buzzing around frantically. It turned towards us as we entered, quickly flying down to greet us. ¡°Greetingzzz, brave adventurerzzz¡±, he bowed. I couldn¡¯t help but notice that his especially thick antennae looked like a mustache. ¡°Welcome to Pollentown¡±. ¡°Huh¡±, Phoebe replied. ¡°You guys normally call us ¡®dirtbound¡¯. I appreciate the name change¡±. The bee flinched in response. ¡°That izzz zzzimply not true¡±, the bee stumbled a bit over his words. ¡°Our great ancezzztorzzz created a whole path juzzzt for the dirtbou- I mean, adventurerzzz¡­¡±. ¡°Bad blood aside¡±, I interjected, ¡°my name is Count Boogula, friendly ghost and new adventurer. F-ranked and rising!¡±. ¡°I¡¯m Phoebe Darkbane III, C-ranked adventurer. Nice to meet you, Mr. Moustache¡±. Judging by the bee¡¯s blank expression, he had no idea what those ranks meant. He clapped his hands¡­ feet¡­ appendages (?) together cheerfully, regardless. ¡°Wonderful! I hope your courage and rezzzourzzzfulnezzz¡­ *cough cough*¡­ help you zzzolve our plight. In the hive I am known azzz ¡®Chief Attendant of Her Divinity, Buzzbuzz¡±. He puffed out his chest proudly. ¡°Great, Buzzbuzz. Good to know¡±. ¡°No, no!¡±, he quickly corrected. ¡°Buzzbuzz is the zzzacred name of our queen. I am her humble chief attendant¡±, he said not so humbly. ¡°Ok. We¡¯ll just call you Chief, then. Thanks, Chief¡±. The bee was now thoroughly deflated at his new name. Half of his moustache drooped dangerously close to a honeycomb that held what looked like the queen¡¯s poop. ¡°Wait, hold on a second. Say ¡®buzz¡¯ again?¡±, I asked. ¡°Buzz¡±, he replied. ¡°Ok. Now say ¡®bus¡¯¡±. ¡°Buzzz¡±. ¡°Is it just me, or is he overemphasizing his accent on purpose?¡±, I whispered. Phoebe shrugged. ¡°I never figured it out either. Bees do like differentiating themselves from us. Maybe the accent is just entirely fake in the first place¡±. ¡°I have endured enough humiliation today!¡±, Chief snapped, tears welling in his eyes. Chapter 5 We moved in to examine the slumbering queen. Chief hovered over our shoulders, nervously flitting around the room. ¡°You thinking what I¡¯m thinking, Count Boogula?¡±, Phoebe wore a grim expression. ¡°I hate to say it, but yes¡±, I sighed. ¡°Deep, neverending sleep. Honey flowing upwards and pooling on the ceiling. A profound sense of wrongness hanging over the chamber. This can only mean one thing¡­¡±. I breathed in. ¡°Somebody¡¯s trying to establish a new cursed spot without me! The nerve of this hack to not even invite me as a background character! How dare they!¡±. Phoebe blinked. ¡°...Yes, well, it is clearly a curse of some sort. Hey, Chief! Any ominous pentagrams of evil around?¡±. Chief shook his head. Then he frowned in thought. Phoebe¡¯s eyes narrowed. ¡°Surely you¡¯ve checked every room nearby¡­ right?¡±. ¡°Well¡­ there izzz one plazzze we can¡¯t go¡­¡±, he said slowly. ¡°¡­The Catacombzzz¡±. ¡°Bingo, there¡¯s our target. Nothing like an old creepy cavern to drag sacrifices into. Ghosts love that sort of thing¡±. She looked at me. ¡°Uh, evil ghosts, I should clarify¡±. ¡°I¡¯m actually quite partial to old caverns myself¡±, I replied. ¡°Virtually zero maintenance, and they can be even creepier than a haunted house if done right. Only flaw is that you hardly get any visitors to scare¡±. ¡°Wait¡±, Chief said. ¡°You can¡¯t go there. The Catacombzzz are a zzzacred burial ground. Only the queen may enter¡±. ¡°Well, this is an emergency¡±, Phoebe shot back. ¡°If you think a sleeping queen is bad enough, just wait ¡®till she wakes up. This is possession magic, and the caster knows what they¡¯re doing¡±. ¡°¡­Alright¡­ I will let you enter, under one condition. You muzzzt complete the Trial. I apologize, but thizzz izzz the only way I can truzzzt you¡±, he bowed deeply. Phoebe shook her head. ¡°Always a sidequest. It¡¯s like you don¡¯t want us to help. Alright, Chief. What do we have to do?¡±. ¡°You muzzzt bring me the perfect flower¡±, he said solemnly. I noticed then that all the bees in the chamber had long since grown quiet, and were watching us intently. Phoebe waited. ¡°¡­Well? What kind of flower? Where does it grow? I need more info than that¡±. ¡°That izzz the point of the Trial. You can try azzz many timezzz azzz you like. That izzz all I can tell you, I¡¯m afraid¡±. ¡°What is this, a personality test?¡±, she retorted. ¡°I didn¡¯t come here to pick flowers!¡±. The bees watching us buzzed angrily, but Chief simply bowed his head once again. ¡°We understand¡±, I responded, reminding everyone I was there. ¡°We¡¯ll do our very best to find you the perfect flower, save your queen, and stop this horrible ghost¡±. Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author. We turned and left. ¡°Thank you, adventurerzzz¡±, Chief said after us. ¡°You are more than we dezzzerve¡±. ¡°You can phase through walls, right, Count Boogula?¡±, Phoebe said. ¡°It¡¯d be dangerous to go in there alone, but if you just figured out the way in¡­¡±. ¡°No¡±, I replied. She stopped. ¡°What? Don¡¯t tell me you want to spend hours out here while that time bomb keeps ticking away under their noses. This is for their own good!¡±. ¡°There¡¯s a right order to things. You know, I¡¯ve worked at haunted houses for a long time, and I¡¯ve seen all sorts of customers, good and bad. But the absolute worst one¡­ ooooh, you know what he did? He grabbed a ladder and broke into the second story. Entire rooms of buildup gone to waste, just because he wanted to ¡®skip to the important part¡¯. Why, it still makes me mad after all these years!¡±. I turned to Phoebe, only to see an expression that was best summed up as ¡®Seriously?¡¯. ¡°Point is¡±, I quickly concluded, ¡°These bees asked us for help. They invited us into their house. Whatever we may think, clearly this Trial is important to them. If we ignore them and just break into their basement to ¡®get to the end¡¯, can we really say we¡¯re trying to help them?¡±. ¡°Yes. This spirit is a grave threat to their hive. They have no idea how much trouble they¡¯re in¡±. ¡°Maybe so. But we¡¯ve already started this quest with one enemy. And if we betray our allies, then we¡¯ll end it with another. ¡®Dirtbound¡¯ is what they called us today, but tomorrow is up to us¡±. ¡°Fine. If they complain to the guild, they probably won¡¯t let us advance in rank anyways. Ok, let¡¯s do it¡±. Flowers of all kinds surrounded the city, each more beautiful than the last. Sunflowers, roses, tulips, and all those other kinds I didn¡¯t know the names of. There aren¡¯t exactly many flowers in a haunted house, at least not living ones. Maybe they could use some color after all, I thought. Interior decorating plans aside, we had no lack of options for our ¡®perfect flowers¡¯. Before long we returned to the palace. Chief appraised the plants carefully. ¡°What made you choozzze them?¡±, he asked matter-of-factly. ¡°A four-leaf clover for luck. Because we¡¯ll need it to excorcise that ghost¡±, Phoebe answered. ¡°A black rose, a symbol of death, yet a living thing itself. It would make for great decor!¡±. I could already see it now, our next guests filled with terror as they beheld our gardening skills. Chief blinked. ¡°Exzzzellent choicezzz. However, I am afraid thezzz will not do¡±. He handed the flowers back to us. ¡°Any hints?¡±, I asked hopefully. Chief shook his head. ¡°Darn, this might be harder than I thought¡±, I said as we walked out. ¡°What makes a flower ¡®perfect¡¯, anyways?¡±. ¡°I think I¡¯ve got it¡±, Phoebe responded. ¡°He already gave us a hint, after all¡±. I turned to her, surprised. ¡°Really? How so?¡±. ¡°I keep forgetting this, but remember, bees are a very collectivist species. They all try to better their hives and serve their queen. That is why he handed our flowers back to us, as if to say, ¡®these are your perfect flowers, not mine¡¯¡±. ¡°Oh, I get it. So he wants us to consider what kind of flower he would like. Maybe one filled with the best nectar?¡±. We looked at each other and turned back to a palace to ask a bee about his food preferences. What a strange day this was turning out to be. ¡°¡­Congratulations, you pazzz¡±, Chief said, now looking much more bloated. ¡°I hereby grant you both the title of ¡®Honorary Worker¡¯¡±. He paused. ¡°Thizzz izzz a good thing, to clarify¡±. The bees broke out into raucous applause, cheering us on. I turned to Phoebe. ¡°See? Earlier today we were ¡®dirtbound¡¯, now we¡¯re¡­ ¡®honorary workers¡¯. Not thrilled with the title, but I guess it¡¯s an upgrade¡±. Phoebe nodded. ¡°I¡¯m looking forward to ¡®saviours¡¯. Let¡¯s find that ghost¡±. Chapter 6 Chief pulled a honeycomb out of the palace floor, revealing a hole in the ground. ¡°Erm¡±, he said, ¡°my apologiezzz, but there izzz no ladder¡±. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I can rock climb¡±, Phoebe said, climbing into the hole. ¡°Adventuring 101¡±. I floated down after her. ¡°Ghosting 101!¡±. The bees were silent as we descended. Before long we were at the bottom. Phoebe brought out a lantern and lit it, revealing a tunnel. The walls were not made of stone, but the exoskeletal remains of long dead queens. A strange fog had settled across the bottom of the hallway. But most striking of all were the trails of blood, not just on the ground, but on the walls and ceiling as well. The lantern dimly illuminated their final struggle, as we passed by a stinger wedged deeply into the wall. I sighed. This could¡¯ve been an amazing corridor, but as the entryway it was just melodramatic. So typical of a third-rate ghost to abandon any suspense in their rush to the jump scare. 5/10. Phoebe shivered. I gave her a surprised look. Sure it was bad, but it wasn¡¯t that bad. But then again, even I couldn¡¯t scare her. She must have far higher standards of horror. I nodded in appreciation, confident that she would make an excellent ghost some day. Then we entered the central chamber. A red pentagram was messily sketched over the ground, with a bee corpse laid over each point. Hovering over the center of the star with his back turned to us was our target, a white orb flanked by two wings made up of shards of glass. ¡°Count Boogula, it might be a good idea to retreat and get some more help¡±, Phoebe whispered. ¡°This guy is really bad news, I can just feel it in the air¡±. ¡°I have to agree, he is a vile foe¡±, I whispered back. ¡°I expected little from a house squatter using forbidden magic to cover for his lack of talent. But for him to be such an edgelord is beyond even my worst nightmares¡±. The offensive ghost slowly turned towards us, his wings glittering from the lantern light. His face had but one eye, with a pupil black as the deepest night. ¡°Tyoyvsbo. Mczv z oqbnbyox¡±, he said. ¡°What is he saying?¡±, Phoebe asked nervously. I would¡¯ve facepalmed right there if I had hands. ¡°Ok, let me try to translate with [Spooky Speech]. Testing? ?niaga emoC .ti tog ,hA ?gnitseT¡±. ¡°Adventurers¡±, the house squatter continued, ¡°you now stand before Hex the First. I have ruled the night for eons. Leave now¡­ or perish¡±. I turned off my [Spooky Speech], snapping back to normal. ¡°Nope, couldn¡¯t catch a word of that. It¡¯s like he¡¯s speaking doubly backwards or something¡±. The edgelord blinked. ¡°¡­Did you just skip my whole introduction?!¡±, he replied in anger. Anger! Why, I should be the angry one here! ¡°Um¡­ he said his name was ¡®Hex the First¡¯¡±, Phoebe told me. ¡°And he said he¡¯s been around for eons or something like that¡±. Hex bristled at Phoebe¡¯s summary. ¡°Ah, that explains the gibberish speech then¡±, I responded. ¡°Listen gramps, that fad died out centuries ago, and for very good reason. Your guests either decode it right away, or they just forget about it. It never ends in the cool reveal you¡¯re hoping for¡±. ¡°That was my ancient tongue¡±, he shot back in his most eye-roll worthy line yet. ¡°For I am the most ancient of evils. The darkest of nightmares. I have brought terror to the living since before¡­ why are you laughing?!¡±. ¡°Oh boy¡±, I snickered. ¡°¡®Ancient tongue¡¯¡­ hahaha! You should consider going into comedy. You¡¯re the goofiest ghost I¡¯ve ever seen¡±. I glanced at Phoebe, who was giving me quite a strange look now. Hex blinked. ¡°Neither of you are leaving here alive¡±. His wings seemed to vibrate, each shard of glass rotating like a buzz saw. With a flick of his wing, one of the shards shot towards me, grazing my cheek. ¡°I¡¯m a ghost. That won¡¯t¡­¡±, I reached up to feel the cut across my face, now dripping with ectoplasm. ¡°Huh¡­ Silvered glass? That¡¯s new. Watch out Phoebe, our amateur ghost here is coming for your job, too!¡±. The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. Hex¡¯s wings wrapped around him, and then blasted outwards all at once. I dove under the ground and Phoebe squeezed herself into the wall of bee skeletons as glass ricocheted around the cavern. ¡°Decent reflexes¡±, Hex complimented us, as the glass settled down and slowly reformed back into his wings. ¡°But I¡¯m afraid it won¡¯t be enough. [Pyjcvwzbx Bxzfw]¡±. The world shifted and warped into nothing, just a pitch black void. Phoebe tumbled through the air in free-fall, with no ground to hold her. Hex glanced up at me, his wings vibrating once again, but this time with no cover to hide from their deadly touch. I gasped in shock. This was¡­ this was¡­! ¡°Finally scared, are we?¡±, Hex chuckled. ¡°Behold my ultimate spell. My greatest achievement¡±. This was PLAGIARISM! The cardinal sin! Forget all the murder and possession shenanigans, THIS was his greatest crime! The sheer nerve to just copy my spell and pretend like he invented it! ¡°You two-bit hack¡±, my voice was filled with venom. ¡°You would DARE copy my spell?! But you made one fatal mistake! No mere copy can match the original! [Spooky Maze]!¡±. Hex¡¯s eye widened as the world shifted again, the darkness being repulsed by the sight of my old haunted house. Phoebe¡¯s face filled with shock as she bounced off a well-placed trampoline, the only change to the tasteful scenery. ¡°You¡­ you?!¡±, Hex stuttered. ¡°You know that spell?!¡±. I nodded, satisfied with my work. But then, the darkness pushed back. I struggled as the void crushed inwards, desperately trying to fend it off. But alas, the eternal night won, once again leaving us nothing to look at but the plagiarist¡¯s dumbfounded expression. ¡°I underestimated you. To think that another ghost would independently create the same spell¡­ Even though I was victorious in the end, I commend you¡±. I shuddered. Being complimented like I was his peer was the greatest insult this hack could ever deliver. His wings vibrated yet again. Ugh. Didn¡¯t this guy have any other moves?! My greatest spell being bested was bad enough. If I was really getting killed by the same attack he¡¯d used the entire fight too, I think I¡¯d die of humiliation first. ¡°Forgetting someone?¡±, Phoebe said, now at the apex of her bounce. She hovered over Hex¡¯s back like an angel, ready to smite him from the sky. Hex smirked. ¡°Phoebe!¡±, I yelled. ¡°Behind¡­¡±. ¡°I know¡±, she replied casually, turning around and splitting the hidden ghost in half with her silvered sword. All at once we came back into the real world, the illusions and pocket dimensions fading away like a bad dream. Hex gurgled in pain, now cursing the world with two of him, as his wings collapsed over the ground. ¡°Damn¡­ Darkbanes¡­ I will¡­ have my¡­ revenge¡­¡±. I turned to Phoebe. ¡°What do you think?¡±. Phoebe smiled. ¡°Oh, he¡¯s dead. I¡¯m impressed he can even talk like that¡±. ¡°Thank goodness. For a second I thought he might be a recurring villain¡±. ¡°I¡¯m not done yet!¡±, the very much done ghost said. ¡°Z jcsov lbsw zxspo nzov, Xtxp bxkqhxk vs pzqjcv rqv zoc, Y MYFF BXVQBP!¡±. Phoebe lifted her sword, ready to end the monologue. ¡°[XPKFXOO JBQKJX]!¡±. Hex suddenly exploded into a ball of fire, leaving nothing behind. ¡°He¡¯s 1000% gone, right?¡±, I asked for reassurance. ¡°We¡¯ll never have to see him again, right?!¡±. Phoebe pursed her lips and picked up some of the burnt glass shards now littering the ground. Her silence was answer enough. The rest of it was a blur. The bees cheered us as we exited the Catacombs, their queen once again issuing urgent orders for snacks. They gave us our reward, a pot of the finest honey. Phoebe claimed it was worth a lot of money, but it was better to keep as our toast spread. ¡°Alright¡±, she said as we walked back. ¡°You¡¯ve looked down this whole time. What¡¯s up? Sometimes quests just end like that, you know. Bad guy gets away. It¡¯s not your fault¡±. ¡°Phoebe¡±, I hesitated. ¡°Do I¡­ frighten you?¡±. ¡°Nope¡±, she said cheerfully. I sunk even lower into the pits of despair. ¡°No, no, wait! I didn¡¯t mean it like that! You¡¯re definitely powerful. I couldn¡¯t have ever beaten that ghost without you. I just can¡¯t imagine you hurting anyone, is all¡­¡±. ¡°I just wonder if I¡¯m cut out for this ghost stuff¡±, I moped. ¡°I thought I was king of the world for a long time. Centuries. Now, I start adventuring, and I can¡¯t scare a slime¡­ my best spell is defeated by some poser¡­ come to think of it, I can¡¯t remember a single person being scared by me since I joined the guild. Hard to get scared by an F-rank¡±. I sighed. ¡°Oh, I get that feeling¡±. I turned to her, surprised. ¡°You know, I started adventuring even before my sister did. Hunting evil spirits, solving quests¡­ I thought I was a total badass¡±. She smiled. ¡°Then my sister joined the guild too. She blew right past me, reached A-rank in no time. It just gives you this feeling, like, what am I even doing? All we can do is keep trying, and maybe someday, we¡¯ll finally reach the people we want to be¡±. I had no response to that. If I wanted to live up to my title as King of Scares, I had a lot of work to do. Who knew adventurers fought such fearsome foes? They surely deserve a pay raise! Phoebe piled some burnt glass shards on the receptionist¡¯s desk. ¡°We fought a ghost who called himself ¡®Hex the First¡¯, had these wings of silvered glass. Extremely powerful. Locked us into this strange void dimension. He probably got away, unfortunately, but the queen is saved¡±. The receptionist looked down at the glass, brow furrowing in confusion. ¡°That¡­ that can¡¯t be¡­ Lucina¡­ your sister said she killed that ghost long ago. Split it right in half, even¡±. We looked at each other. ¡°Oh, it¡¯s definitely coming back, alright¡±. ¡°Ugh. What a pest¡±. Bonus Chapter 6.5 Stuck floating in the ether once again. Hex sighed. Of course he had gotten killed just as his plan was finally getting underway once again. Now to wait for his body to reform. He had gotten called many names over the years. ¡®The Devil¡¯. ¡®Grim Reaper¡¯. ¡®Demon King¡¯. ¡®The Great Evil¡¯. Even his real name now meant ¡®curse¡¯ among humankind. It was all just tremendously unfair, wasn¡¯t it? The humans had so many empires, and he only asked for one. One kingdom for the undead to live in peace. One place for him to belong. But time was his greatest enemy. No matter how many times he built his kingdom, eventually it would all come crashing down. Sometimes it took centuries, other times only days. But always, without fail, people like the Darkbanes would show up. They would call him evil and kill him. They would ensure his dream had no chance of succeeding. A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation. People called them ¡®heroes¡¯. They were formless, ever-shifting. You kill one of them and another pops out of nowhere, some upstart not even a century old seeking revenge. Sure, most failed, but they would always win out in the end. People thought he was some sort of god. But against the neverending hydra that was humanity, he was weak. Admitting this was painful for Hex. He was the most powerful being ever, and he had such a humble dream, but he was too weak to achieve it. It was a paradox. This game was rigged against him from the start. The only way out was to change the rules. So long as humanity existed, they would stop him. They would swallow his kingdom like the ocean washing away a sand castle. There was one, and only one solution, and he had known it all along. Power is not enough against enemies that don¡¯t fight fair. Diplomacy is not enough against nations with such erratic, constantly changing leadership. Humanity was a pest that needed to be exterminated. What other choice did he have? Hex mzo vcx lybov zpk spfi vbqx qpkxzk. Cx czk oxxp os wzpi nfzhxo zpk vywxo, zpk ixv pspx mxbx cyo. Cyo uqxov msqfk fzov¡­ lsbxtxb. Chapter 7 ¡°In any case¡±, the receptionist clapped her hands. ¡°This is quite an achievement. Phoebe, I¡¯ll be sure to bring this to the guildmasters¡¯ attention. For Count Boogula, we can run you through the E-rank exam right away!¡±. Phoebe nodded. ¡°I¡¯d say good luck, but this¡¯ll be a piece of cake for you, Count Boogula¡±. The receptionist grabbed a clipboard and smiled. ¡°Now if you¡¯ll just follow me outside¡­¡±. ¡°For the first test, all you have to do is lift this rock here¡±, she pointed towards a round stone, clearly of standardized size. I blinked. ¡°Um, I¡¯m afraid that¡¯s too big for me¡±. ¡°Really? Can¡¯t ghosts use telekinesis or something?¡±, the receptionist looked surprised. ¡°Well, yes, but it¡¯s never been my forte¡±, I admitted. ¡°I mostly focused on studying illusions and inventing my pocket dimension spell. The ghosts who lifted weights all picked on me¡±. ¡°I¡­ see¡±, the receptionist said, scribbling a note on her clipboard. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, you only need 2/3 in order to pass. In fact, I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll pass this next challenge. All you have to do is get to the top of that rock wall¡±. I flew up to the top, and the receptionist clapped. Somehow that was even more humiliating than failing the last test. ¡°Ok, now for the third and final test. No adventuring exam is complete without a monster to slay. I¡¯m afraid the monster you¡¯ll face this time is particularly terrible, Count Boogula¡­¡±, she said in a joking tone. She stepped towards a wooden crate. Whatever it contained was just sitting there, making no move to escape. I felt a shiver running through my body. What was I so afraid of? This was the E-rank exam, after all. Obviously, it would be a weak monster. Obviously. She turned the crate upside down, and out splatted¡­ a slime! I was so overtaken by fear I couldn¡¯t even move, frozen by the slime¡¯s killer intent. Its fearless eyes bobbed around within its disgusting body, slowly coming to rest on its prey¡­ me. Of course!! How could I forget the time this receptionist had sent me out to die in that wretched Slime Valley?! If it wasn¡¯t for Phoebe, I¡¯d be dead! But now, she had schemed to separate us under the guise of an ¡®exam¡¯! This cunning villainess! She had made only one miscalculation. Yes, my only advantage was that I had quickly seen through her assassination plot! A lesser adventurer would¡¯ve died here, but I would retreat to unlive another day! This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience. ¡°Count Boogula!¡±, the receptionist called after me. ¡°What about your exam?¡±. She frowned at her clipboard, struggling to find another point somehow. Phoebe had even confided to her that she would be no match for Count Boogula in a serious fight. At the bare minimum, surely he must be D-rank at least. But she couldn¡¯t promote him if he didn¡¯t pass the test. She sighed. At last I came to a halt, breathing hard. Come to think of it, how did that receptionist control such a fearsome creature? Wait¡­ had he just left her to die?! I mean, assassin or not, that was kind of coldblooded. Should I attempt¡­ a rescue mission?! I shook my head. No, no, no! That was just insanity! Nobody could fend off such an ancient evil! I¡¯d just be going down with her. Having made my decision, I turned back to the path ahead of me. This was only logical! In the first place, she was the one who released that monster! But no matter how much I rationalized and reworded it, I could not take one step forward. Ooooooh¡­ why did I have to be such a hero? With the utmost reluctance, I ran back towards the adventurer¡¯s guild. ¡°I¡¯ll save you!¡±, I cried as I screeched around the corner. ¡°Oh, Count Boogula!¡±, the receptionist smiled cheerfully. ¡°Did you come back for your exam?¡±. ¡°Wha- why- how- where is the slime?!¡±. She was alive at least, but things were even worse than I had feared if that creature had escaped! The whole world was doomed!! ¡°You want to try again?¡±, she replied, popping the lid of the crate. ¡°Here you go!¡±. The slime stared at me balefully with the kind of look that would turn Medusa to stone. ¡°AAAAAHHHH!!¡±, I screamed. ¡°Please, I beg of you! You have no idea what that monster is capable of!¡±. She turned her head. ¡°Count Boogula, could it be¡­ you¡¯re afraid of slimes?¡±. ¡°OF COURSE I¡¯M AFRAID!! Who wouldn¡¯t fear that infernal nightmare?!¡±. She chuckled, then quickly stopped. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I shouldn¡¯t laugh. It¡¯s actually more common than you would think. Because it¡¯s such a common monster, sometimes people get traumatic memories of them as children. Still, your fear is particularly strong¡±. She resealed the slime back into its box. I don¡¯t think she understood the urgency, given the flimsy crate it was contained in, but I forced myself to relax a little. ¡°Unfortunately, I can¡¯t offer a different test. But there are some guild locations that use legacy exams instead of the standardized ones. They¡¯re often more difficult, but you should still be able to rank up without fighting a slime¡±. She gave me a reassuring smile. ¡­Did this receptionist really plan to assassinate me? I couldn¡¯t believe it. It just couldn¡¯t be. Were slimes actually weak, then? No. Even the cursory glance of a layman should be able to discern its demonic nature. Why then was everyone oblivious? I gasped as I finally realized the truth. Slimes were pretending to be weak! They were the most powerful monsters on the planet, and yet they fooled people into thinking they were bottom-tier! Why? Why would they do such a thing? It was simple. By lurking beneath their enemies¡¯ notice, they were able to proliferate and spread across the world, with nobody even bothering to cull their numbers. Once their population had grown large enough¡­ world domination. The extinction of all life. And finally, they would fly off to another planet to begin the process anew. I shook my head. Some foes were simply beyond me. Chapter 8 ¡°What do you mean, he ¡®didn¡¯t pass¡¯?!¡±, Phoebe exclaimed. ¡°I¡¯m telling you, there must be some mistake here! There¡¯s just no way!¡±. ¡°¡­I¡¯m afraid it¡¯s true¡­¡±, the receptionist sweated. ¡°The test just¡­ um¡­ it didn¡¯t account for ghostly applicants¡±. ¡°Alright, I¡¯ll humor you. Let¡¯s just say for the sake of argument that he somehow couldn¡¯t lift that puny little rock. He could still bypass the rock climbing test! And the final test is a slime! A slime! And this guy helped defeat one of the most powerful ghosts ever!¡±. The receptionist¡¯s professional smile quivered. ¡°¡­I¡¯m afraid the particulars of guild exams are confidential information. I can¡¯t share the specifics without Count Boogula¡¯s permission¡±. ¡°Ok, then. Count Boogula, could you please explain what happened?¡±. ¡°Sure. As you suspected, I failed the first test but easily passed the second. Then the receptionist unleashed a slime. With no hope of defeating such a powerful monster, I made the difficult decision to retreat¡±, I completed my report. ¡°¡­Many people underestimate slimes, but I assure you, they are demonic soldiers devoid of fear and mercy. No creature could be worse¡±. Phoebe¡¯s mouth flopped open. ¡°Actually¡±, the receptionist quickly added, ¡°it¡¯s not that uncommon for adventurers to have a fear of slimes¡±. ¡°Yeah, loser adventurers¡±, Phoebe retorted. ¡°Not Count Boogula¡±. ¡°Strength doesn¡¯t matter¡±, the receptionist corrected her. ¡°Phobias have a way of taking control over your brain. Shaming him won¡¯t help¡±. ¡°You¡¯re right. Moving on, I take it there aren¡¯t any other good quests here?¡±. The receptionist pouted yet nodded at the same time. ¡°Ok, then. I want to hear more about this ¡®Hex the First¡¯. My vote goes to visiting my sister to hear her account¡±. ¡°Ooh, Mechadream?¡±, the receptionist nodded. ¡°That guild branch also has a different exam! Although¡­¡±, she winced. ¡°All of Mechadream¡¯s exams are far more difficult, but its E-rank is particularly infamous¡±, Phoebe explained. ¡°A few even argue it¡¯s harder than the standard C-rank exam. Still, I think you should give it a shot¡±. ¡°Nothing could be harder than fighting a slime¡±, I said. ¡°Well then, onwards to Mechadream!¡±. Mechadream was a few days away. We travelled through forests and plains alike, occasionally camping out under the stars. I kept watch, since I didn¡¯t need to sleep. Phoebe seemed to like that very much. ¡°What¡¯s Mechadream like, anyways?¡±, I asked her one morning as she ate breakfast. ¡°Is it as interesting as Pollentown?¡±. Phoebe put her hand to her chin in thought. ¡°Well, technically it¡¯s a part of the kingdom, but it¡¯s more like an independent city-state in reality. Mechadream is mostly known for its highly advanced technology, which they hoard all to themselves. It¡¯s¡­ a crazy place¡±. A day later, we finally arrived at the city. Whatever I was expecting, it was not this. There were no real ¡®walls¡¯, but there were countless cannons and other strange weapons encircling the city. As we approached, I saw a small number of flying machines take off holding various devices. The array of artillery swivelled and locked onto their positions, blasting them out of the sky within moments. I shivered. It wasn¡¯t just cannons and guns, either. A few barbed wire fences and small patrols stopped anybody trying to leave by foot. After a thorough search, they were allowed out. A few robots were stationed around as well, in case the guards weren¡¯t enough. Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author. ¡°What kind of place is this?!¡±, I exclaimed. ¡°It¡¯s like a prison!¡±. ¡°Don¡¯t worry¡±, Phoebe tried to calm me down. ¡°I know it looks bad, but the security is just to protect their technology. People can still come and go freely¡±. ¡°They care that much about monopolizing it? Surely the world would be far more prosperous if they shared their inventions!¡±. Phoebe shrugged. ¡°They don¡¯t really trust outsiders, I guess. To be fair, a lot of it is extremely dangerous stuff. If the wrong hands got a hold of it, the consequences would be disastrous¡±. We approached the front gate. The guards just waved us in, which only added to my anxiety. This place didn¡¯t make any sense! Once we made it past the city¡¯s thorny shell, I sucked in a breath. I hated to admit it, but the place had a strange, unique beauty to it. The streets were made of iron and the buildings largely made of brass. But there were no hard edges like you¡¯d expect, everything was sleek and curved. The houses all had unique shapes and styles, somehow looking minimalist and yet natural at the same time, like a coral reef. Speaking of nature, trees and shrubs abounded in vibrant green colors, along with the occasional fountain. It was so pleasing yet foreign, like a utopia from another world. ¡°Impressive, no?¡±, Phoebe remarked. ¡°Now you see why it¡¯s called ¡®Mechadream¡¯¡±. She led the way to the adventurer¡¯s guild, which was undoubtedly the dog of the street. An unforgiving, sharp-edged steel brick with no redeeming qualities. We walked in through the front door. Surprisingly nobody was drinking, in fact the place was almost empty. A broad-shouldered man in military uniform sat behind the reception desk like he just happened to be there. ¡°Excuse me¡±, Phoebe said. ¡°My friend Count Boogula here needs to take an E-rank exam¡±. ¡°Kids from the boonies, huh?¡±, the man barely glanced up. ¡°Go take a hike¡±. He pulled a cigar out of his pocket and lit it, blowing smoke into the room. ¡°Toegther we took down a ghost named Hex the First¡±, Phoebe continued, the irritation clear in her voice. ¡°The receptionist said he could take the test. We would like to take it here¡±. The rude man took another puff from his cigar before answering. ¡°That means nothin¡¯ to me, kid. Go take their test. If he failed that, well¡±, he chuckled, ¡°he has no right to be here¡±. ¡°Wait, Phoebe¡±, I cut off her protest. ¡°Let me handle this. I¡¯ve seen disgraceful customer service like this before, and there¡¯s only one way to break through to these meatheads. I¡¯m gonna have to show him what a real scare looks like¡±. The man¡¯s eyes narrowed. ¡°I really wouldn¡¯t do that if I were you, F-rank. Name¡¯s Jack, former military and C-rank Mechadreamer¡±. ¡°Well, finally a bit of courtesy, I see. I¡¯ll repay you with a free trip to my old haunted house. [Spooky Maze]¡±. ¡°What¡­¡±, Jack looked around in shock as the world around him changed. ¡°An illusion?¡±. He found himself in the entryway of a mansion. An elaborate chandelier hung overhead and behind him were two double doors. Everything seemed giant-sized. He snorted. ¡°A real scare, huh. You wish¡±. He stepped in front of the locked double doors, readying his fist. ¡°[Cyber Punch]!¡±. The doors rattled, but didn¡¯t show any signs of breaking. ¡°What the¡­¡±, he muttered, backing away from the door. ¡°It¡¯s just wood!¡±. Then, he heard it. Former military or not, he shivered at the growl. It was so unnatural, and yet so human, that it could only be one thing. Zombies. He felt the sweat coming down his face as a dark shadow appeared on the wall ahead of him, closing off his path of escape. Desperately looking around, he saw only one way out. ¡°[Cyber Jump]¡±, he whispered as he leapt high into the air, grabbing and climbing on top of the oversized chandelier. It groaned and teetered precariously under his weight. Jack knew this wasn¡¯t an escape at all, just a way of stalling for time. But he also knew that this wasn¡¯t a fight. No, it was now¡­ a survival mission. Five minutes later, the two emerged from the pocket dimension, Jack now pale-faced and in need of a shower. ¡°So, you¡¯ll let my friend take the exam?¡±, Phoebe asked. ¡°Yes¡±. ¡°Excellent. There¡¯s another matter we also need to attend to. Do you know where Lucina Darkbane III is?¡±. Chapter 9 Jack led me to a place he called the ¡®scrapyard¡¯. It was an empty lot nearby that was filled with loads of machinery. He walked over to a line of ancient battle robots, which were clearly the crown jewels of this junk heap. Climbing up a ladder, he grabbed a giant wind-up key on a robot¡¯s back. ¡°The test is simple. Defeat an Enforcer Model Small¡±, he grunted as he slowly turned the key. The robot was not small, just in case you were curious. It stood at least four people tall and six people wide. Unlike the rest of the city, it had a boxy, rough appearance to it. Jack grimaced as he fought with the key. It had gotten much tighter, the ancient metal parts scraping together. Finally, we heard a click, and it stirred to life. ¡°Order: Kill, Targets: One¡±, Jack said. The robot slowly woke up, as if groggy from a long nap. ¡°ONE TARGET SIGHTED¡±, he pointed at me. ¡°APPEARANCE: ¡­¡±. ¡°Yes, yes, confirm order¡±, Jack waved dismissively. ¡°I swear, these silly safety features¡­¡±. The robot¡¯s eyes burst to life, shooting a giant laser. I stayed still as it phased right through me, melting the ground beneath into soup. This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it. ¡°JUDGEMENT: TARGET INTANGIBLE¡±, the robot stated. It lifted its left arm, revealing a machine gun. I dove underground as silver bullets chewed through everything in the scrapyard. This was ridiculous. I was fighting an ancient death machine for E-rank. The other exam had me fighting a slime, you know! Surely this test was some kind of joke! After all, if people caught wind of this, then they¡¯d ALL be heading to Mechadream for their E-rank exams! They were diluting the value of the ranking system, dang it!! Now, a robot can¡¯t feel fear, obviously. But they were expensive to build! That meant that any responsible creator would naturally include a self-preservation instinct! Count Boogula King of Scares (F): -1 Roll: 4 - 1 = 2 ¡°[Spooky Illusion]¡±, I whispered, conjuring up the image of an even more ridiculous war robot. Yes! Understand that you are outmatched, Model Small! Before my illusions, you are naught but a pebble! The robot kept tearing up the ground with grenades and lasers like nothing had happened. Hmm. Maybe I had overestimated the amount of thought that had gone into this rust bucket. No matter, this too I could use against my foe! I phased inside the primitive machine, letting it tear itself apart. ¡°SELF DESTRUCTING¡­¡±. Jack bolted for cover as the war machine exploded, raining fresh scrap down into the yard. My generous donation. ¡°Congratulations¡±, Jack coughed out some falling ash. ¡°You pass¡­¡±. I beamed. E-rank, huh? Maybe someday I could earn it the hard way. Chapter 10 ¡°Phoebe!¡±, Lucina jumped on top her sister, hugging her tightly. ¡°It¡¯s been so long! Why don¡¯t you ever visit? Your big sister gets lonely, you know!¡±. ¡°Lucy¡­! I¡¯m a C-rank adventurer, you know! I¡¯m very busy¡­¡±, Phoebe put up a token level of resistance only. ¡°You¡¯ve ranked up, too! I¡¯m so proud of you!¡±, Lucina held her tighter. Phoebe¡¯s face turned red. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ really proud of you too, Lucy¡­¡±. Me and Jack stood awkwardly by the doorway. ¡°Um¡±, Jack fidgeted. ¡°Should we maybe use the back entrance, or¡­¡±. ¡°That¡¯d probably be tacky. Maybe we should just wait outside¡±, I argued. Jack nodded sagely. ¡°A ghost!¡±, Lucina noticed me, and in a flash her sword was out. ¡°[Holy Beam]!¡±. A wave of purely concentrated sunlight washed over me, and I died. Of laughter. ¡°Hahahaha¡­ oh, that tickles!¡±, I rolled across the air. A tickle attack! What an underhanded ability. ¡°Wha¡­ this can¡¯t be!¡±, Lucina exclaimed. ¡°That was holy magic! It burns the wicked!¡±. ¡°Count Boogula is a friendly ghost¡±, Phoebe quickly explained. ¡°It surprised me too, but he really doesn¡¯t have any murderous grudges! He¡¯s just¡­ well, a little goofy¡±. It was like a friend had suddenly knifed me in the back before strolling away for breakfast. Goofy?! I was surely the most frightening ghost the world had ever seen! To smear my reputation so casually¡­ these sisters were no joke! ¡°I¡¯m sorry sister, but he¡¯s deceived you¡±, Lucina stared daggers at me. ¡°There¡¯s no such thing as a friendly ghost. They are undead abominations, things that shouldn¡¯t exist. [Holy Beam]!¡±. Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. ¡°Ahahaha! Please, stop! I beg of you! Hahaha!¡±. I tried to fly away from her tickle beam, but she showed no mercy. ¡°How¡­ ahaha¡­ how does it even burn the wicked, anyways? That doesn¡¯t even make sense. What system of morality does it adhere to?¡±. The sword whimpered. Lucina patted it soothingly. ¡°There, there. I trust you, Jeffrey¡±. She glared at me even harder. ¡°Come on, Count Boogula. Introduce yourself¡±, Phoebe said through gritted teeth. ¡°Fear me, adventurers! My name is Count Boogula, and I have come to eat your souls¡­ Mwahahaha!¡±. ¡°Boogula!¡±, Phoebe snapped. ¡°Now is not the time!¡±. ¡°But, she¡¯s scared of me! Isn¡¯t this wonderful, Phoebe?¡±, I displayed my wisdom and maturity. Lucina slowly stood up. ¡°I have no idea why my [Holy Beam] doesn¡¯t work on you. You are an incredibly powerful spirit, so perhaps that¡¯s why. In which case, I¡¯ll make you eat silver, demon¡±. ¡°Mwahahahaha! You would dare challenge¡­ me? Foolish adventurers! Prepare to join me in the afterlife! [Spooky Maze]!¡±. Phoebe rubbed her temples as if she had a headache. A pity she couldn¡¯t fully enjoy the haunted delights I had prepared. ¡°That was all your fault!¡±, she scolded me as we ran from the guild. Lucina was just a tad more hostile and powerful than I had thought. ¡°Now my sister¡¯s worried I¡¯m teamed up with some kind of monster! I demand you apologize to her this instant!¡±. ¡°COUNT BOOGULAAAA!¡±, we heard a voice bellowing in the distance. ¡°Yeah, um, I¡¯d love to stay and chat, but I¡¯m just so busy¡±, I tried to block out the sound of the footsteps rapidly gaining on us. ¡°So, toodles!¡±, a silver knife pierced the air where my head used to be as I ducked beneath the ground. Phoebe sighed. She had a lot of explaining to do. Chapter 11 I had found refuge in a cave deep underground. It was quite a nice cave, actually. Just the right number of bats and good acoustic properties. Honestly it was a shame it didn¡¯t have an ominous entrance somewhere on the surface. I had to admit though, Phoebe was right. I had troubled both her and Lucina for no good reason. Also, maybe not a good idea to piss off an A-rank ghosthunter. Things were so much simpler back at the old haunted house. Guest comes in, scare them away, chat with your undead coworkers, repeat. He still remembered Greg the skeleton, who bored everyone else to death with his stories of being a former D-rank adventurer. Those times were dull then, but now he couldn¡¯t help but feel nostalgic. ¡°Found yoooouuuuu¡­¡±. I froze as I heard that chilling voice echo through the cave. Just where was she? How did she even get here?! I stopped as I felt two eyes staring at me from the ceiling. Ah, so this was the end. I was grateful I had already done the whole ¡®reflecting on my past life¡¯ bit, because Lucina meant business. There would be no time to think. She jumped down from the ceiling, landing in front of me. And then, she pulled a slime out of her bag. ¡°AHHHH!!¡±, I screamed, cowering away instinctively. What a perfectly timed jumpscare! Are we sure she isn¡¯t just a ghost herself?! ¡°It seems you really are afraid of slimes¡±, she gave a smile devoid of anything human. ¡°Phoebe explained everything to me. Why don¡¯t you join us for dinner?¡±. It was the most awkward situation I¡¯d ever been in. And I once made the mistake of dropping by my own funeral, so that was really saying something. I stirred my soup around aimlessly. ¡°Um, just so you know¡­ ghosts don¡¯t really need to eat¡±. ¡°Is that so? More for me, then¡±. Lucina poured my bowl straight into hers, like that was the plan all along. Her eyes never left me for a second. ¡°So, um¡­¡±. ¡°Yes?¡±. ¡°¡­May I ask why Phoebe is covered in slimes?¡±. I watched as she battled the slimes for her soup, mostly unsuccessfully. One of them had already swallowed her spoon. Phoebe was valiantly fighting back with her unused fork, but the slime¡¯s guerrilla warfare proved quite effective. Another one had brazenly plopped into her bowl, changing colors as it absorbed the food. ¡°Just a deterrent. I can¡¯t have monsters attacking my precious little sister, after all¡±, Lucina said. That was rich, considering her ongoing battle against monsters far more fiendish than me. In the end she had sacrificed her spoon and was now just attempting to drink her soup straight out of the bowl. Several slimes had already piled on top of her face in a race for Lucina¡¯s cooking. ¡°Thishh ishh all yhur fuult¡±, I could barely make out. The bowl fell off her face, revealing happy slimes underneath. Of course, weakening your enemies while strengthening yourself was just basic strategy. But to deny even food to an adventurer was quite coldblooded. Slimes, they were as merciless as always. Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences. ¡°So!¡±, I said, grasping for something, anything to talk about. ¡°We actually came here to talk about Hex with you. How did your fight with him go?¡±. ¡°It was just a surprise attack¡±, she replied. ¡°Snuck up to him while his back was turned and Jeffrey split him in two. Would¡¯ve lost in a fair fight¡±. She slurped down the rest of her soup. ¡°That was a long time ago, though. I¡¯ve been training hard ever since, just in case I had to fight a ghost like that again¡±. Lucina dished out seconds for her sister, causing a new wave of excitement to ripple through the slimes. She turned back to me with a hard stare. ¡°Especially when I see one with the same tricks¡±. ¡°I keep telling you, he¡¯s not like that¡±, Phoebe defended me even as she fought her own war. ¡°Count Boogula may seem scary, but he¡¯s a good guy¡±. ¡°In any case, you can rest easy under my roof¡±, Lucina said. Phoebe did not, in fact, rest easy. An hour or so after we finished dinner, I had sirens ringing out across all of Mechadream. People quickly holed up indoors, but there was no urgency, as if this happened all the time. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡±, I asked Lucina. ¡°Oh, this must be your first night here, huh?¡±, she flashed another evil smile. ¡°You¡¯ll see¡±. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. The footsteps of many huge beings shook the earth, sending dust falling from the ceiling. Phoebe stumbled out of her room, rubbing her eyes. ¡°How do you sleep with all this racket?¡±, she asked her sister. Lucina smiled sympathetically. ¡°I¡¯ve got some magic sleeping pills, if you want some. The noise only gets worse from here¡±. ¡°Worse?! How could¡­¡±. Lucina tackled her sister to the ground as a giant laser beam sliced clean through the house. The roof seemed like it would slide right off, but the molten brass stuck together somehow. ¡°Shhh. Don¡¯t move¡±, Lucina urged. For a few seconds, they finally had silence. Then more earthquakes as the robot walked away. ¡°Who makes these robots?¡±, I hissed. ¡°Don¡¯t tell me this is ¡®working as intended¡¯!¡±. ¡°Keep your voice down¡±, Lucina reminded me. ¡°Nobody knows. Nobody wants to risk their life fighting them, either. They¡¯re the reason Mechadream exams are so tough¡±. ¡°This is bull. I¡¯m not cowering inside here¡±, I turned to leave. ¡°Wait, wait!¡±, Lucina called after me. I ignored her and went to give those robots a piece of my mind. A few robots were walking around the city. I looked up¡­ and up¡­ and up. Huh. No wonder that other one was called the Model Small. ¡°Hey, tin can!¡±, I hovered in front of a robot¡¯s face. It completely ignored me, like I was some kind of mosquito. Illusions, phasing into it, nothing worked. ¡®Battle robot¡¯ would be a misnomer, it was moreso just an instrument of pure terror. I came back to the house defeated. ¡°This doesn¡¯t make any sense. This whole city- it feels like the world¡¯s been turned upside down here. I just don¡¯t understand why¡±. Lucina looked at me in a slightly different light. Chapter 12 Phoebe left her room with the greatest reluctance that morning. Her foul mood wrapped around her like a coat, shooing away all optimism and sunlight. ¡°You were right. This place is a prison¡±, she grumbled. ¡°Aw, cheer up!¡±, came Lucina¡¯s weak words. ¡°This is why we drink coffee in the morning¡­¡±. ¡°Coffee?¡±, I asked. Lucina waved away my question and went outside. We had little choice but to follow. We passed by numerous shrubs and trees that had been crushed underfoot by the giant robots last night. Workers were busy hauling away the broken remains and planting in replacements. As we watched, one took out a can and sprayed a sapling, causing it to grow to full height almost instantly. Unfortunately, a nearby shrub had also caught a bit of the spray, which had now grown far larger and was scuttling up the side of a building. ¡°[Holy Beam]¡±, Lucina pointed at the evil plant, causing its leaves to fade to yellow and then shed away under her harsh sunlight. Now depleted of energy, the shrub fell down onto the ground, where it was quickly lassoed by the workers. One gave a nod of thanks. ¡°¡­Is it like this every morning?¡±, Phoebe asked, still bleary. ¡°Not always. Yesterday was an evergreen shrub¡±, she frowned. Before long we arrived at a small building with many benches outside, clearly a restaurant of some sort. ¡°Take a seat outside. I¡¯ll go grab the food¡±, she said. After a short wait, Lucina came back with a donut for herself, and a piece of toast for her sister, which was promptly slathered in honey. What was more interesting, and frightening, were the cups of darkness served alongside the food. Phoebe sniffed it and promptly wrinkled her nose. Gathering up her courage, she cautiously took a sip, before spitting it right back into the mug. ¡°Ugh. This stuff smells like death, but it tastes even worse¡±. ¡°It¡¯ll make you feel better~¡±, Lucina smiled before downing a whole cup. She had brought back several more drinks than necessary, and switched to a new mug with no delay. ¡°Coffee wakes you up. You get used to the taste, eventually¡±. This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience. Phoebe looked at her sister with horror. Then her eyes shifted back to the coffee, as if it was a shameless magazine that needed careful reappraisal. She took another sip, scrunched up her face like a raisin, nodded, and then downed the rest of it. I frowned in thought. ¡°Who makes this beverage? I¡¯ve never heard of it. Is it forbidden outside Mechadream too?¡±. ¡°Oh no, it¡¯s not forbidden¡±, Lucina answered. ¡°It¡¯s just that no one else wants it. There are a bunch of cafes around here, but they all get it from Coffee Corp. The company is run by some guy named Doctor I, who has promised to work on the taste¡±. ¡°Bingo, that¡¯s our bad guy¡±, I said with the confidence of a grade school detective accusing someone of stealing their pencil. After all, we were in a dystopia! Anybody with a shred of power here was evil! Especially so for the first authority I happened to hear about. Lucina blinked. ¡°What? Uh, no. What proof do you have?¡±. My clever deduction skills slammed into the nearly impassable roadblock of common sense. ¡°Ok, well think about it¡±, I quickly explained. ¡°This ¡®coffee¡¯ stuff. It tastes awful, and somehow makes you more awake? Clearly a magic potion of some kind. Yet it¡¯s being served every day to loads of people. How has it not killed anyone? Or exploded in a ball of fire? It hasn¡¯t even been the origin story for a few third-rate supervillains?¡±. I shook my head. ¡°Having that kind of reliability doesn¡¯t make sense. Wizards flit from one project to the next faster than you can say ¡®catastrophe¡¯. Even if one did invest this much time into this one drink, surely they¡¯d work on taste before safety. Ergo, there are more sinister forces at play here¡±. ¡°He does have a point¡±, Phoebe said. Her sister quickly supplied her with a fresh cup of coffee. Lucina laughed. ¡°How could such a routinely consumed, easily spiked beverage depended upon by the populace possibly be¡­¡±, she frowned and tried again. ¡°What I mean to say is, how could a drink known to taste like evil given liquid form be¡­ Hmm¡­¡±. ¡°There are those giant robots making everyone sleep-deprived¡±, Phoebe helpfully chimed in. ¡°Maybe it¡¯s all part of some super secret evil conspiracy!¡±. ¡°Hold on a second. [Holy Beam]!¡±, Lucina blasted one of her cups. The darkness soon cleared, revealing plain old water. ¡°I¡¯m a genius, aren¡¯t I?¡±, I humbly worded it as a question. ¡°Now, let¡¯s pay a visit to this Doctor I¡±. ¡°Ok, right after we finish our coffee¡±, Lucina responded. Chapter 13 We burst into the lobby, confronting a receptionist. His name tag identified him as ¡®H¡¯. He took one glance at our swords and copper rings, said something about a bathroom break, and left. We continued to the elevator, the only obvious way upstairs. ¡°Wait¡±, Phoebe said. ¡°This could be a trap, you know. Maybe there¡¯s another way up?¡±. ¡°Phoebe¡±, I gently corrected her. ¡°Our enemy is an evil scientist, so there are two possibilities. One is that he diligently chose a death trap with some glaring design flaw. The other is that he was too lazy or boringly practical to put dangerous stuff inside of a commonly used elevator¡±. The two sisters nodded sagely at my boundless wisdom. Unfortunately, the only thing that assailed us on the way up was bland music. I sighed, too disappointed for words. Going from third-rate ghosts to third-rate evil scientists was barely a promotion at all. The elevator dinged as we hit the top floor, revealing a spacious office. A large desk took up much of the available room. Behind it was a comically oversized chair, its back turned to us. The chair slowly turned around, as if to dramatically reveal its occupant. Frankly, he needn¡¯t have bothered. The two giant glass wings poking out from the sides gave us a pretty good hint. I sighed again. ¡°Please tell me you¡¯re actually ¡®Hex Jr.¡¯, or something stupid¡±. ¡°Adventurers! Behold my return and weep¡±, he said. ¡°It is I, Hex the First!¡±. ¡°Phoebe? Could you hold your hands up¡­ no, not like that¡­ yes, that¡¯s it¡±, I put my face into her palms, the only gesture capable of conveying the disdain I felt. I lifted my head. ¡°Ok, there¡¯s a lot here. First of all, we killed you last Tuesday. You should be licking your wounds and obsessing over revenge, not¡­ running some coffee company!!¡±. ¡°I have things to do¡±, he replied defensively. ¡°You expect me to drop everything whenever some random person kills me?¡±. ¡°You swore revenge on us! And as an evil scientist, petty motives and score-settling are the most basic of basics!¡±, I soon had to calm myself down. My indignation had to be rationed out carefully against this hopeless hack. ¡°Speaking of¡±, I continued on, ¡°what is this? Where¡¯s the more qualified evil scientist you booted out in the takeover of this company?¡±. ¡°I invented coffee¡±, Hex claimed. ¡°Thousands of years ago, I delved deep into forbidden magic and mind control. Sadly, only a few overworked scientists were desperate enough to stomach my concoction¡¯s wretched taste. But, behold! Now an entire city is under my spell!¡±. ¡°Wait, did you say mind control?!¡±, Lucina suddenly cut in. Hex gave an evil laugh in response, the first thing he had done correctly this whole encounter. ¡°Please tell me you have some sort of goal, at least. Why keep a failed scheme on life support for so long? If you¡¯re after war, there are surely far easier ways to achieve it¡±. ¡°War? No¡±, he replied proudly. Of what, I had no idea. ¡°No. As we speak, my slaves are building rockets¡±, he pointed his wing skyward. ¡°Rockets to fly to the Moon¡±. ¡°Wait, wait, wait¡±, I said. ¡°So you¡¯re telling me it took you thousands of years¡­ to plan out a vacation to some barren space rock with nothing to see or do?¡±. ¡°It is a blank slate¡±, he insisted. ¡°Upon which we can build our own world. A new empire free of human interference¡­ for now, anyways. A place in the heavens to smite the foes beneath us¡±. ¡°We have a world down here, you know¡±, I retorted. ¡°Shame you don¡¯t want to be a part of it¡±. A genuine flash of anger swept across Hex¡¯s face. ¡°Ah yes, says the undead who befriends ghosthunters. I wonder how many of our kind they¡¯ve killed. Neither of them even trust you, they¡¯re just using you because you¡¯re an idiot¡±. ¡°That¡¯s not true!¡±, Phoebe replied with deep emotion, as Lucina shrugged nonchalantly. ¡°I admit that I didn¡¯t trust Count Boogula at first. But I do now! He¡¯s taught me so much! He showed me the value of patience and what it means to help people in Pollentown! He helped me defeat you in the first place! He¡¯s silly, but also courageous and kindhearted! And¡­ and¡­¡±. She paused to take a breath. ¡°¡­And he saw through your stupid plot like it was nothing!¡±. Hex blinked in surprise, before his eye slowly narrowed. ¡°¡­So what? In a mere few centuries, you won¡¯t matter. A good human or two means nothing to me. No, you must all be wiped out. For even if I touch the Moon, you rats will surpass me eventually. But no matter your technology, you are all just monkeys in the end¡±. ¡°My congratulations, Hex. Third-rate ghosts, ghosthunters, and evil scientists abound. But never before has anyone thought to combine all three. That, plus the worst plan I have ever heard? Truly, you are a global leader in mediocrity¡±, I praised. ¡°Sadly, you must pass into the next life for the benefit of us all. I suspect that for someone as long-lived as you, letting go would be a gift¡±. Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation. Hex snorted. ¡°Then let me tell you this, adventurers. I have been beaten many times, I admit. But no one has ever bested me twice¡±. His wings wrapped around his body, and all of us prepared to dive for cover. But then¡­ ¡°[Nxblxhv Wybbsb]¡±, he said, as the glass shards covered him, forming a prism. We saw our shocked expressions reflected back at us. So he did have other moves, after all! ¡°[Holy Beam]!¡±. To no one¡¯s surprise, Lucina¡¯s beam of light bounced right off the mirror. CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! Phoebe leapt high into the air, bringing her sword down upon the shield. Each strike formed dozens more cracks, adding to the ones already present. But the barrier¡¯s shape did not budge. The Darkbane sisters backed away from Hex warily. ¡°Ok¡±, I butted in. ¡°Time for Plan B¡±. They looked at me with puzzlement. ¡°What Plan B?¡±. I gave a look of exasperation. ¡°Surely you have a plan! Even roadside bandits realize the value of armor! Or do you mean to tell me that none of your ghostly opponents ever thought to protect themselves from a second death?¡±. The two sisters put their hands to their chins in thought. ¡°Now that you mention it¡­ that is kind of strange, isn¡¯t it?¡±. I sunk closer to the ground. Just what kind of third-rate enemies were they fighting? ¡°Ok, well, what can you do?¡±, Lucina confronted me. ¡°Can¡¯t you make our swords phase through that barrier or something?¡±. I scoffed. ¡°If we could just make silver swords intangible, they wouldn¡¯t pose much threat to us, now would they? Alright, we¡¯ll have to go with Plan C. Hex may have some sort of perfect defense form, but he¡¯s using up all of his glass and energy to maintain it. I suggest we make a strategic retreat¡±. On cue, he pulled two machine guns out of his desk, having them float beside him. Keeping with Mechadream¡¯s theme, I see. ¡°[Pyjcvwzbx Bxzfw]¡±, he said, as the world around him turned into an endless void. This time though the Darkbane sisters were somehow still standing on thin air. ¡°He¡¯s copying my spell again!¡±, I said. ¡°Lucina, do the thing!¡±. ¡°Don¡¯t call it ¡®the thing¡¯!¡±, she protested as her sword filled with light. Yes, this was how she had broken my pocket dimension earlier. ¡°My sword separates truth from lies! [Sunrise Break-¡±. ¡°Stop¡±, Hex said. Lucina¡¯s teeth clacked as her mouth suddenly snapped shut. The light in her sword died. Ugh, I had forgotten about the mind control coffee. There goes Plan C, at least. Even though the barrier blocked Hex¡¯s face, it did nothing to stop the unbearable smugness radiating from him. ¡°Count Boogula, why don¡¯t you join me? There¡¯s no reason a fellow ghost needs to die. Let¡¯s build a new world, together¡±. ¡°Sure thing¡±, I replied, before whispering Plan D into Phoebe¡¯s ear. Her face paled. ¡°No, anything but that¡±, she pleaded. ¡°What?¡±, Hex replied with shock. ¡°You know this is just taunting, right? As if I¡¯d trust an ¡®ally¡¯ made at gunpoint¡­¡±. ¡°Plan D it is! Secret attack!¡±, I yelled. ¡°NO!!¡±, Phoebe screamed as I lobbed her priceless pot of honey into the air- our quest reward from Pollentown. Hex fired his guns in panic. The silver bullets shattered the pot, but did nothing to stop the torrent of honey. It glommed onto his shield, completely blinding him. ¡°¡­Even still, you can¡¯t hurt me! If I just attack randomly¡­¡±. ¡°Then you¡¯ll run out of stamina long before you beat us¡±, Lucina finished for him. ¡°It¡¯s a miracle you¡¯ve managed to use this spell and keep up a perfect barrier at the same time. But that won¡¯t last forever¡±. ¡°Transparent and easily foiled, huh?¡± I wondered aloud. ¡°A fitting metaphor for your schemes¡±. Phoebe was too busy mourning the loss of her toast spread to join in the mockery, unfortunately. She needn¡¯t have worried. At the rate this clown was going, he¡¯d be reusing the same evil plots before long. Hex was silent for a moment as he contemplated his options. ¡°¡­Screw this. Slaves!¡±. Phoebe and Lucina snapped to attention, their expressions twisting into blank stares. I was really regretting the decision to confront Coffee Corp right after consuming all their products like we were hunting for fraudulent refunds. ¡°As I recall, you have no means of killing the undead, Count Boogula¡±, Hex observed, as his shield dissolved back into two wings. He was now going full offense. I desperately bobbed and weaved around the bullets, swords, knives, glass, and tickle beams all converging on my location. It was likely the coolest action scene I¡¯d ever be in, but I was too busy trying to survive. Ectoplasm poured from my many cuts as I whipsawed about like a kite in a hurricane, long since torn away from the hands of a naive kid. Hex¡¯s mad laughter rang out across the battlefield. ¡°Hold still, Boogula! It¡¯ll be quicker that way!¡±. I finally completed my winding arc, ending out on the opposite side of Hex from the two Darkbane sisters. ¡°Hey Hex!¡±, I panted. ¡°Say cheese for Plan E!¡±. ¡°[Holy Beam]!¡±, Lucina shot her laser again, catching Hex right in the crossfire. ¡°No¡­ stop! NOOO!!¡±, he panicked, desperately piecing together a small shield to block the light. He made it just in time, sighing in relief as the beam bounced off. Perhaps that was a bit premature. The mirror had bounced the light straight back to Lucina, who was now blinking in confusion. She turned her sword on her sister. ¡°[Holy Beam]!¡±. ¡°Oh, no¡­¡±, Hex finally realized what he had done. ¡°[Nxblxhv Wybbsb-!¡±, the glass started reforming around him into his perfect barrier again. ¡°[Holy Beam]!¡±, Lucina spammed the move yet again. The light seeped in through the cracks of the barrier just in time, right before it sealed. ¡°OW! OHH! ACH! OUCH! AGGGGHHHHHH!!!¡±, Hex screamed as her attack bounced around inside his own mirror prism, resulting in a fatality that was plain excessive by any standard. Nobody should have to endure tickle beams coming from all sides. At last the pocket dimension and the mirror collapsed, leaving behind nothing but smoke and a pile of ash. ¡°I¡¯m impressed¡±, a voice croaked out. ¡°Thousands of years of work¡­ even I don¡¯t take that lightly. Count Boogula¡­ I¡¯ll remember that name. Sc lsbjsvvxp jsk, Sc fspxfi jsk, MCXBX YO CXZTXP?! [XVXBPZF KBXZW]!¡±¡­ Even the ash disappeared. Bonus Chapter 13.5 Slime Valley, the place famed for its constant pest control problem. The townsfolk widely accepted that there were two main causes. Roughly 20% of the problem was the sheer tenacity of slimes. They could squeeze into any nook, cranny, or hidey-hole on the planet, and scuttle out like cockroaches when their would-be exterminators claimed victory. The other 80% was plain apathy. Even F-ranks refused the job- all a part of their cunning plot to have the guild create a new G-rank beneath them. One slime grumbled, its gelatin body quivering and making unpleasant noises. Other slimes around were making the same gesture, a chorus of shivering and strange sounds. After all, when your whole body was just one big stomach, expressions of hunger got pretty visceral. There was no food anywhere nearby. With nobody bothering to cull their numbers, the slime population had grown out of control and devoured everything in sight. Suddenly, one of them started hopping around erratically. It stumbled into another and the two creatures fused together into one larger slime. Others soon followed the early bloomer, colliding into each other and growing in size. Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more. For a brief moment the entire field was a ballroom of chaos, but before long it had settled down to just the final two asymmetric slimes. One large and one small, the two finished the final steps of their dance and combined as one. The massive slime opened its eyes, blinking under the sunlight. It had been a long hibernation. It inhaled the air around it, now with a vastly enhanced sense of smell. The first scent it caught was of honey and pollen. Getting back at those pesky bees would be fun. Since ancient times their races had feuded over honey, with the bees usually winning. Still, it detected something even more delicious on the wind. A vast quantity of ice cream, chocolate, and sweats. It would be more of a trip, yes, but the slime didn¡¯t mind much. With its giant body it wouldn¡¯t take long at all to cover the distance. ¡°Y mspkxb yl Y¡¯ff oxx wi osp¡±, the slime rumbled more than spoke. And with that, it set off. Chapter 14 ¡°What do you mean, the rocket just vanished?!¡±, Lucina shouted. ¡°Well, um¡­¡±, the engineer responded, only just freed from Hex¡¯s control. ¡°¡­We were building four rockets in these big underground rooms. I have no idea why. After we finished one of them, it just disappeared¡±. ¡°¡­Is Hex hiding it?¡±, Phoebe suggested. ¡°In a pocket dimension, perhaps? But what would be the point of that?¡±. ¡°¡­In theory, he could launch it from within his ¡®Spooky Maze¡¯ copycat spell¡±, I said. ¡°Once he¡¯s reached the sky, he could cancel the spell and continue flying¡±. ¡°So what you¡¯re telling me is, he could be landing on the Moon right now and we wouldn¡¯t even know about it?!¡±, Lucina panicked. ¡°Well, I don¡¯t know¡±, I shifted uncomfortably. ¡°It seems awful risky. After all, if the physics in his pocket dimension were off somehow, things could go horribly wrong. It¡¯d certainly be a slapdash ending to a thousand-year plan¡±. It was a strange situation, to say the least. I hesitated, a new idea coming to mind. ¡°¡­What if he isn¡¯t hiding the rocket at all? What if he¡¯s moved it somewhere else?¡±. Phoebe gave a surprised look. ¡°He could do that? How would he move a rocket?¡±. ¡°Well, there are two possibilities. One is that he used telekinesis¡­¡±. ¡°So what, he can lift buildings now?¡±, Lucina retorted. ¡°What¡¯s your other idea?¡±. The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°That he invented a teleportation magic of some kind¡±, I suggested weakly. Lucina bit her lip. ¡°¡­Ok. Let¡¯s say he used telekinesis. Just how far did he move it? I don¡¯t see any launchpads around here¡±. ¡°What if he used more underground rooms?¡±, Phoebe stepped in. ¡°It¡¯s possible that he¡¯s had a network of these chambers dug out. He could smuggle it between rooms using his pocket dimensions until he got all the way to the launch base¡±. Lucina gave a piercing look at the engineer. ¡°I d-don¡¯t know of any other secret rooms¡­¡±. ¡°Figures. If they exist, they were probably dug out centuries ago¡±, Lucina sighed. ¡°So we have no clue where our missing rocket is, or even exactly how it vanished. Count Boogula, I don¡¯t suppose you could lift our rockets out of the ground?¡±. ¡°Even the jocks back in college couldn¡¯t do something like that¡±, I snorted. ¡°Then we¡¯ll just have to dig them out. Sounds like we¡¯ll be going on a trip to the Moon soon¡±. THUMP. An impact shook the ground, knocking the nervous engineer off balance. ¡°W-What was that?!¡±. ¡°A KING SLIME!¡±, the shout soon rang out through the city as another of the monster¡¯s hops shook the earth. ¡°I knew it!¡±, I cried out. ¡°See?! They are trying to destroy the world! I was right, wasn¡¯t I?¡±. Lucina¡¯s eyes widened. ¡°It¡¯s coming towards us! Is it going to eat the rockets? Is this all part of Hex¡¯s plan too?!¡±. Somehow I doubted that. Hex¡¯s plan may have been dumb, but this rocket disappearing act clearly required a great deal of ingenuity. He should know better than to mess with powers beyond his comprehension. The king slime leapt forward again, making the ground creak painfully. And then, it vanished. Despite our startled blinking, none of us could conjure it back. Lucina rubbed her temples, fending off a migraine. There should be a limit to how much can happen in one day, she thought. Chapter 15 ¡°Wsvcxb¡­¡±, Hex¡¯s voice quivered. ¡°Yv¡¯o rxxp os fspj¡­¡±. ¡°Hex¡±, the king slime rumbled. ¡°Isq¡¯bx z jcsov psm?¡±. Hex nodded, overcome with emotion. Meanwhile, Lucina paced around the table, deep in thought. ¡°Ok. The king slime is probably heading for one of two places. Either here, or¡­ Sugaria¡±. She marked out a place close by on the map. ¡°Sugaria?¡±, I asked. ¡°What¡¯s that place like? Why would a king slime head there?¡±. Phoebe smiled. ¡°It¡¯s a city surrounded by quite a lot of land. The ground is made up of a bunch of tasty treats- ice cream, chocolate, and caramel- that are mined there and shipped around the whole world¡±. ¡°You think it¡¯s just hungry?¡±, I was perplexed. Phoebe nodded. ¡°This is a problem¡­¡±, Lucina chewed her fingernails. ¡°We need to defend this city. Still, we can¡¯t just ignore the king slime¡­ So we¡¯ll have to split up¡±. She looked up. ¡°Ok. I¡¯ll guard Mechadream. Phoebe and Count Boogula, you head to Sugaria¡±. Phoebe shook her head. ¡°Hex could come back any time to destroy our rockets. What happens if you have to fight him again all alone? Count Boogula should stay here too¡±. ¡°Phoebe¡­ can you use holy magic?¡±, Lucina¡¯s tone was soft, but the question caught Phoebe off guard. Her reaction was an answer itself. Lucina looked down at the floor. ¡°I¡¯ve suspected it for a long time. But you¡¯re amazing, to get to C-rank without any magic. You inspired me to become an adventurer. So¡­¡±. ¡°I¡¯m just not enough, am I?¡±, Phoebe turned around and stormed out of the room. I floated back and forth, before deciding to follow her. ¡°Hey¡­ are you ok?¡±. She was sitting outside, crying. The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°¡­It¡¯s true, you know?¡±, she wiped her eyes and finally responded. ¡°I could never use holy magic like my sister. That¡¯s part of why I became an adventurer, you know¡­¡±. ¡°You wanted to have something special, too¡±, I realized. ¡°For your sister to look up to you the same way you look up to her¡±. ¡°Well geez, when you put it that way, it sounds so selfish, doesn¡¯t it?¡±, she sniffled, with a faint smile on her face. ¡°But compared to you and Lucina, I¡¯m just the useless tagalong here¡±. ¡°Really? I don¡¯t see it that way¡±, I said. ¡°Lucina wants us to fight the king slime. That itself shows she trusts me¡­ but it also shows she trusts you too, Phoebe¡±. ¡°What? But I¡¯m just weak. She¡¯s expecting you to defeat the king slime, not me¡±. ¡°No. You¡¯re not strong enough yet. But instead of sending you somewhere safe, she sent you towards the king slime¡­ I think she wants you to grow stronger¡±. Phoebe¡¯s eyes widened. ¡°¡­Does she still think¡­ I could awaken holy magic¡­?¡±. She said it in a near whisper, a long dead hope given just the barest flicker of life. I dared not say anything. After all, I knew nothing about that kind of magic. Still, the implication was unmistakable. Phoebe suddenly stood up. ¡°¡­Even if it¡¯s impossible, I can¡¯t just sit around at C-rank forever. Let¡¯s go back inside. After all, the king slime could reappear at any moment¡±. I nodded. She turned and smiled at me. ¡°Count Boogula, you¡¯re actually kind of wise, aren¡¯t you?¡±. I sucked in a breath. Phoebe, you¡¯re a lot stronger than you think, I thought. ¡°One more thing¡­¡±, Lucina continued. ¡°Our enemy Hex is powerful. We may have gotten lucky so far, but we¡¯ll all need to prepare if we expect to win the next battle¡±. Phoebe nodded. ¡°I don¡¯t know¡±, I argued. ¡°The king slime seems more like final boss fight material to me¡±. ¡°Even though Hex improved on your signature spell?¡±, Phoebe said slyly. I froze. ¡°¡­Whatever could you mean? As if that hack could improve my spell¡±. ¡°Hmm¡­ are you sure? I mean, his pocket dimension has beaten yours twice now. What if you actually copied some of his work by mistake? You can never be sure¡­¡±. ¡°You¡­ you take that back!¡±, I stammered. ¡°His knockoff spells¡­ and bootleg magic¡­ could never defeat the original! I¡¯ll prove it to you!¡±. Phoebe chuckled. Lucina tried and failed to suppress the smile on her face. I stared at them both in despair. This was serious! Chapter 16 ¡°Oh, one more thing before you go! I got you a new pet!¡±, Lucina stopped Phoebe outside. ¡°Really?¡±, her eyes glimmered with hope. That hope dwindled considerably when Lucina pulled a slime out of her bag. ¡°I don¡¯t want it¡±. ¡°Ah, come on! Isn¡¯t he just the cutest?¡±. ¡°No¡±. ¡°At least give him a name!¡±. ¡°NO¡±. ¡°¡­I promise he won¡¯t eat your food!¡±. Phoebe stopped. ¡°¡­Really?¡±. A worried smile played across Lucina¡¯s lips. ¡°¡­Well, not too much of it at least¡­ hey, wait!¡±. ¡°You could not possibly pick a worse gift¡±, Phoebe marched away. ¡°Should I tell Count Boogula about the many romance novels you¡¯ve penned?¡±. Phoebe marched backwards and grabbed the slime. ¡°This is blackmail¡±. ¡°What¡¯s the slime¡¯s name?¡±, Lucina asked cheerfully. ¡°Luggage¡±. ¡°The Heart of the Phantom, Chapter One. It was a dark and stormy night¡­¡±. Phoebe¡¯s face flushed red. ¡°Stop, stop! Ok, fine! His name is¡­ I don¡¯t know, Globert¡±. ¡°Well, it¡¯s not that strange for a ghosthunter to write novels about ghosts¡±, I reassured her. ¡°Besides, everyone has¡­¡±. ¡°NOT. HELPING¡±. Phoebe¡¯s tone left no room for argument. Lucina held back a chuckle. And thus our journey began. As we left I noticed there were already fewer patrols. Eventually, everyone would be freed from Hex¡¯s control, and Mechadream¡¯s technology would spread all across the kingdom. The world would change. Sugaria was very close by, little more than an hour away. When we landed, Phoebe immediately retrieved a spoon from our supplies. If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. ¡°You sure you want to eat that?¡±, I looked at the ground. It was indeed ice cream, but dirtied and mashed flat by foot traffic. ¡°The trick is to scrape the top layer off¡±, she demonstrated, digging down to the clean ice cream underneath. I was suddenly reminded of eating snow as a kid and smiled. If only we could¡¯ve had this instead. We couldn¡¯t stop for long though and beelined straight to the adventurer¡¯s guild. It was a mostly empty building, with a gingerbread man at the counter. A few other equally strange citizens were indulging in some kind of syrup in the corner, hopefully an equivalent to beer. One thing that stuck out to me was the number of quests on the board. There were quite a few that offered large rewards: the Candy Warden, Red Velvet, clearing out sugar worms¡­ it seemed like Sugaria had no shortage of trouble. ¡°Howdy, adventurers!¡±, the gingerbread man exclaimed. We were somewhat taken aback by the friendly greeting. ¡°My oh my, the two of you smell delicious today!¡±. ¡°I think that¡¯s a compliment¡­ Ow! Why¡¯d you bite my hand?!¡±, Phoebe whispered to me, but was suddenly interrupted by the strange receptionist. ¡°Oh I¡¯m sorry, I forgot you¡¯re new!¡±, the gingerbread man licked his lips. ¡°You taste like a Phoebe to me. Want to bite my hand?¡±. He reached out his left towards her. Phoebe shook her head, but our pet slime Globert quickly took him up on that offer. ¡°Heehee! That tickles! Anyways, my name¡¯s Fluffygrin! Nice to meet ya both!¡±. Around this time, I started to realize he wasn¡¯t blinking enough. ¡°¡­Yes, we¡¯re here to talk about a king slime that¡¯s probably headed this way¡±, I brought the conversation back on track. ¡°We need advice on how to defeat it¡±. ¡°Ah yes, Sugaria has a storied history of king slime attacks! The year was 812, when the Three Heroes of Yore heard a quake, felt a shake, got a backache¡­¡±. ¡°I¡¯m sorry Fluffygrin, but we¡¯re rather short on time¡±, Phoebe cut in. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was because of the king slime or our pet munching through the receptionist. Fluffygrin nodded vigorously, dislodging one of his gumdrop eyes. He didn¡¯t seem to notice. ¡°Absolutely, sugarplum! Let¡¯s cut through the chatter and get to the heart of the matter! Salt! Yes, most king slimes were defeated by luring them into the Salted Caramel Flats, where there once was a great lake¡­¡±. ¡°Thank you, Fluffygrin¡±. Phoebe forcibly pulled Globert off of him, revealing not much of our receptionist was left. ¡°¡­Are you ok?¡±. ¡°Yep! I¡¯m just dandy! Dandier than a dandybeetle!¡±. He smiled too wide, which was quite impressive given that half of his mouth was gone. Phoebe took a free tourist map and we quickly backed out of the guild. Chapter 17 The king slime reappeared just outside Mechadream. The city was ready, and within an instant the sky was filled with bullets, lasers, and missiles. Any other foe would¡¯ve been vaporized by the assault, but the king slime merely shrugged it off, like its wounds were just some bad tattoo. It gathered its strength and jumped. For an instant it blotted out the very sun itself, filling the townsfolk below with terror. Then, it landed on the other side of the city with a massive quake. The worst case scenario had been avoided, but Lucina still couldn¡¯t rest easy. After all, this could only mean that the slime was headed¡­ ¡°How do you awaken holy magic, anyways?¡±, I asked, mostly just to give us something to talk about as we waited. Phoebe was kicking around a rock- which was actually a gobstopper. ¡°There are many factors, but the most crucial one is that the user must possess a burning desire for justice¡±. ¡°A burning desire for justice, huh¡­ I wonder how Lucina got that desire?¡±, I pondered. ¡°I¡¯m not sure why either¡±, Phoebe admitted. ¡°But I do know that confidence and certainty help. Lucina¡­ well, she¡¯s always had a tendency to see things in black and white. Or at least, before she met you¡±. I frowned in thought. Then, I heard something. ¡°¡­Did you hear¡­?¡±. Before I even had time to voice my question, the sound repeated, much louder this time. We saw the king slime finally appear, vaulting over a mountain with ease. It seemed that with its destination so close, it was only getting faster. ¡°Holy Beam!¡±, Phoebe shouted, pointing her sword at the monster. ¡°¡­Guess it¡¯s not that easy¡±, she smiled wryly. The king slime jumped towards Sugaria and bellyflopped into the ground. Ice cream sprayed outwards as it burrowed into the delicious soil, quickly devouring far more than its fair share. At last the king slime climbed out of the hole it had excavated. Perched upon its head was a crude golden crown made from some precious metals it had chanced across. Its skin was now a light blue color, indicating a case of brain freeze. Still, its stomach rumbled, yet to be satisfied. ¡°How much could it possibly need to eat?¡±, I exclaimed. Phoebe shook her head. ¡°A king slime can only be born from hundreds or even thousands of starving slimes. They have a bottomless appetite¡±. ¡°When does it stop? Can¡¯t we turn it back into normal slimes again?¡±. ¡°You¡¯d think so, wouldn¡¯t you?¡±, Phoebe smiled. ¡°But it¡¯s not that easy. King slimes are like a different kind of creature altogether. They only split in life or death cases¡±. She walked over to the idling king slime, shouting and waving her arms. It ignored her, continuing its nap. Even when she crept forward and stabbed it, the creature wouldn¡¯t react. Its scale was truly immense. The only monsters that compared to it where the robots that roamed the night in Mechadream. As I recalled that encounter¡­ ¡°Hey, Phoebe!¡±, I called her back. ¡°I have an idea. [Spooky Illusion]¡±. It was a mirage larger than any I had conjured before, the image of another king slime. At least their bodies were simple enough to imagine. The real king slime finally took interest, staring at the imposter with confusion. ¡°Mcxbx¡¯k isq hswx lbsw?¡±, it rumbled. I looked at Phoebe for help, a nervous smile on my face. ¡°Play dumb!¡±, she urged. ¡°Um¡­ I am King Globert¡±, I used [Spooky Speech] to fake a rumbling voice. The true king recoiled in shock. ¡°Isq hzp onxzd cqwzp?!¡±. Clearly, it could not speak the same language. ¡°Why can it speak at all?¡±, I whispered to Phoebe. She shrugged, just as confused as I was. Nobody ever realized that? Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site. Well, it wasn¡¯t that strange, I thought. King slimes were probably a very rare occurance, or this kingdom would be toast. ¡°Cztx isq oxxp wi osp?¡±, the king¡¯s rumblings brought an end to my theorizing. Whatever the truth was, this illusion was clearly a failure. He made it appear to hop away, to at least give it a graceful exit if nothing else. BOOM. The king slime hopped after it, clearly intending to follow. I gawked at Phoebe, who was already sprinting towards the Salted Caramel Flats. ¡°Hurry!¡±, she yelled. ¡°King slimes move much faster than we do! We can¡¯t waste this chance!¡±. Hearing this, I flew after her as fast as my ghostly form would allow. Which wasn¡¯t very fast. Actually, Phoebe was set to lap me at the rate things were going. Seeing my lagging behind, she turned back in frustration. ¡°You¡¯re the one casting the illusion!¡±, she drew her silvered sword. ¡°So GO!¡±. With that, she batted me forwards like a tennis ball with the flat of her sword. ¡°AHHH!¡±, I yelped as I shot forwards. Pushing my body to its limits, I still felt the presence of Phoebe gaining on me from behind. ¡°Have mercy!¡±. Meanwhile, the king slime was growing more confused at my illusion¡¯s sudden stop. But with me as Phoebe¡¯s paddle ball, we finally caught up with them, our fake slime one more pace. After many repetitions of this, I finally landed the mirage in the Salted Caramel Flats and collapsed to the ground. Or tried to, at least. ¡°Ugh¡­ that¡­ never¡­ again¡­¡±. Phoebe cackled like a demon. ¡°That was fun! I didn¡¯t hit you too hard, did I?¡±. The king slime stopped right at the edge of its salty doom. ¡°Vczv¡¯o kzpjxbsqo! Hswx rzhd!¡±. Despite not having a face, I could tell it was tensed up. ¡°Are you kidding me?!¡±, I yelled. ¡°All that work for nothing?!¡±. At last I let the illusion dissipate, too bitter and exhausted to keep up the charade. The king slime suddenly panicked, and to our shock it jumped right into the salty caramel, thrashing about as it melted and dissolved. ¡°¡­Did it just try to save your illusion¡­?¡±, Phoebe asked. I suddenly felt awful. Threat to Sugaria or not, neither of us wanted to kill something with such a pure heart. ¡°WSVCXB!!¡±. Those feelings were only complicated further when I saw Hex racing down from the sky towards the shrivelling king. The two of them disappeared together. It wasn¡¯t long before Hex re-emerged alone. He glared at us with a vengeance I had never seen in him before, a fire that could burn the world to ash. ¡°You¡­ YOU!!¡±, he screamed, tears falling from his eye. ¡°You killed my MOM!¡±. We were both taken aback at the many revelations in that statement. For starters, ¡°king slime¡± was a giant misnomer. But even more surprisingly¡­ ¡°You¡¯re a slime?¡±, Phoebe asked, her brow furrowing in confusion. ¡°The ghost of a slime?!¡±. ¡°What?!¡±, he snapped. ¡°Did you think I was human? Like that moron?!¡±, he pointed towards me. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Hex. I had no idea¡±, I apologized. Even if it was the right thing to do¡­ which I was becoming less and less confident of¡­ this whole situation was horrible. ¡°How is your mother still alive? Or was, I mean?¡±, Phoebe sputtered. ¡°You¡¯ve claimed to have lived for thousands of years!¡±. ¡°I don¡¯t have to explain anything to you¡±, Hex glowered. ¡°Just tell me, why¡¯d you kill her?!¡±. ¡°¡­Well, she was posing a threat to Sugaria!¡±, Phoebe answered. ¡°So many people there could¡¯ve been killed! Of course we¡¯d have to stop her!¡±. ¡°Did she kill anyone?!¡±, Hex fired back. ¡°Or is that your whole justification? Just because you two saw her as a threat?!¡±. In any other situation, Phoebe probably would¡¯ve accepted Hex¡¯s argument. But being confronted like this while she was already feeling guilty about it only made her more defensive. ¡°King slimes are monsters!¡±, she retorted. ¡°They devour everything in sight! We had no choice!¡±. ¡°Please, Hex¡±, I pleaded. ¡°Blame me. I was the one who casted the illusion, so you should be angry at me, not Phoebe¡±. ¡°¡­And to think I was wasting all this time on diplomacy¡±, Hex cursed. ¡°Calming down the trigger-happy guild. My mother asked me to do it, but I should¡¯ve known better. I should¡¯ve stayed by her side¡­¡±. His voice choked with emotion, but neither of us could say anything. ¡°I¡¯ve been too soft, too halfhearted¡±, he concluded. ¡°In order to build a new world, I¡¯ll have to tear down the old one. Humans will always hate us¡±. He suddenly turned and flew away. It wasn¡¯t long before we saw the rocket. It burned like a match about to set the sky aflame and filled the air with the sound of ominous thunder. The people of Sugaria panicked, seeing all common sense shattered before their eyes. What comes up must come down. And yet this hellish machine only rose higher and higher, mocking reality. They had no idea who was in it, and yet they still understood exactly what it meant. Chapter 18 Despondent, we had no choice but to hurry back to Mechadream. Lucina was already waiting for us. ¡°Phoebe!¡±, she called out. ¡°I¡¯m glad you¡¯re both back safe! We all saw Hex¡¯s rocket¡­¡±. Phoebe nodded. ¡°The king slime¡­ died. Turns out it was Hex¡¯s mother¡±. Lucina looked bewildered. ¡°Well, that¡¯s¡­ bad. The engineers told me that Hex wasn¡¯t just building rockets. He has weapons with power beyond our comprehension, or so they claim¡±. She waved her hand, as if to break the dark mood. ¡°Come on, the whole city¡¯s been working together to dig out one of our rockets¡±. We followed her to a huge dirt pit leading down into the earth. Sure enough, we could just barely make out the nose of some great machine. I gulped. After all, I said I wanted to travel the world, not the galaxy! This was clearly an excessive level of adventuring, no matter how you sliced it! Still, we didn¡¯t have much choice. ¡°Alright¡­¡±, I forced a smile. ¡°To the Moon¡­ yep¡­ we¡¯re chasing Hex to the ends of the Earth, and beyond!¡±. ¡°We¡¯ll be the first people to see it! I¡¯ve always wondered what the Moon¡¯s like¡­¡±, Phoebe clearly shared my nervousness, but with a bit more adventure in her eyes. Lucina took a step forward, the first to entrust her life to the machine. With that, we finally moved forwards as well, snapped out of our trance. Indeed, the only way out was through. We strapped into our seats. I clung to mine tightly. The last thing I needed was to phase through it at a bad time. And then, liftoff. The roar of a dragon filled our ears, and we were punched down into our seats as the rocket shot upwards faster than even a bullet. The rocket shook violently like it was about to fall apart, and it was all we could do to hang on. One minute of pure terror. Eventually, we slowed down enough to speak. Lucina informed us this was actually an illusion, and that we had simply broken through the atmosphere- whatever that was. Honestly, I was struggling to make sense of it all. You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version. ¡°So¡­ there¡¯s something we need to talk about¡±, Lucina began. We turned towards her as best we could within our seats. ¡°How is Hex somehow immortal? Regenerating wounds is one thing, but we even burned him to ash¡±. I gritted my teeth. The question had been on my mind as well. ¡°There are two types of ghosts. Most get created through necromancy, like me. But there¡¯s another type called natural spirits¡±. Phoebe looked at me. ¡°The type created through grudges, or an unfulfilled wish?¡±. I nodded. ¡°They¡¯re rare and poorly understood. Filthy cheaters too¡­ they just get to skip straight to ghosthood without being a zombie or skeleton first! Earn it, dang it!¡±. ¡°So you¡¯re saying because of that, Hex is immortal?¡±, Lucina brought me back on track. ¡°No. He¡¯s a unique case. I¡¯m just saying he can¡¯t possibly be a necromantic ghost, since our magic simply doesn¡¯t work that way. He must be a natural spirit¡±, I answered. ¡°And that means he could still pass away if he fulfilled his wish or lost sight of it, in theory¡±. Lucina frowned. ¡°I doubt that¡¯s happening anytime soon¡±. Unless we screw up big time, anyway. Ten minutes after launch, we felt weightless. Phoebe and Lucina marveled at the sensation, taking off their seatbelts and doing somersaults in the cabin. ¡°Count Boogula! Isn¡¯t this amazing?¡±, Phoebe asked me, as she swam through the air. ¡°Not really, I¡¯m afraid. Your form needs work¡±, I replied honestly. ¡°Oh, I forgot. You¡¯re weightless all the time¡±, she replied. ¡°Being a ghost must be such fun! We¡¯re missing out!¡±. I shook my head, remembering that precious moment I first became a ghost. I fooled around just as much as they did, phasing through the ground and soaring through the skies like a bird. A really slow, fat bird, but a bird nonetheless. Not that I¡¯d tell those two. It would ruin my nightmarish image, after all. ¡°How long until we get to the Moon, anyways?¡±. ¡°Three days¡±, Lucina said nonchalantly. My mouth gaped open like a fish. Phoebe laughed. ¡°Feeling a little jealous, Count Boogula~? Up here, we¡¯re basically all ghosts!¡±. ¡°If you want to be ghosts, then you should practice¡±, I countered. ¡°Here, stop flailing your arms so much¡­ Don¡¯t push off the wall like that! You don¡¯t need that much force¡­¡±. I sighed as our two new ¡®ghosts¡¯ spun around the cabin like babies trying to walk. This was going to be a long flight. Chapter 19 Dread filled us as we approached the Moon. A desolate, lifeless expanse. What could Hex be planning here? The rocket fired again, slowing us down as we descended. We stepped outside. Phoebe and Lucina immediately noticed the lower gravity here, but there was no playing around anymore. This alien world would serve as our battlefield. It did not take much time to find Hex¡¯s base. He had carved rooms straight out of the lunar rock, forming a kind of palace. The doorway was fairly simple, with two pillars and a small symbol at the top: an eye flanked with two wings. We walked through the door, coming into a large room. At the center was a large statue of a king slime, circled by a ring of caramel shards. Luckily for the memorial, none of us were hungry. To the right was an unfinished room filled with many small rockets, presumably the weapons Lucina had been told about. To the left¡­ Hex finally emerged, eyeing us warily as he approached. I shivered. Out of all his appearances, this was undoubtedly the most eerie. Fitting that it was all unintentional. ¡°Welcome to Heaven¡±, he intoned. ¡°The kingdom of the righteous. It seems you three have already been misplaced¡±. ¡°Kingdom of the righteous?¡±, Lucina snorted. ¡°What do you mean, demon?¡±. Hex¡¯s eye narrowed. ¡°The old world is corrupt and chaotic. So from this day forward, it will be split into two: Heaven and Hell. Paradise and torment. Good¡­ and evil¡±. I looked around the lifeless palace, devoid of joy. ¡°This is your idea of paradise? Living over and above humanity? That seems lonely to me. I¡¯d much rather live alongside people instead¡±. ¡°Then all you have to do is leave¡±, Hex responded. ¡°Fire will rain from the skies, but you will have your wish¡±. Lucina drew her sword and pointed it at the ghost. ¡°Who are you to judge good and evil?!¡±. Hex stared at her coldly. ¡°Me? I should be a nobody. But over the eons I¡¯ve learned¡­ that the only justice in this forsaken world is me. [Xix sl Gqkjxwxpv]¡±. A beam of light blasted forth from his eye. Despite our surprise¡­ ¡°[Holy Beam]!¡±. Lucina quickly blocked it with her own magic. The two beams struggled and fought for dominance, neither side giving an inch. Or at least it looked that way. It was hard to tell since they were the exact same color. If Hex had only chosen black for his shade of death ray, he could¡¯ve made for a passable evil god, but alas. ¡°How¡­¡±, Lucina grunted out. ¡°How could a creature as wicked as you command the light?!¡±. Hex didn¡¯t bother to respond. ¡°Nevertheless¡­ you are but a novice!¡±. Hex relished those words. ¡°Hahaha. Maybe so. But your lifespans, your powers¡­ All of you combined are still just a fraction of what I am¡±. A shard of glass detached from his wing, warping into a disc. It had a strange shape, though. The glass in the center bulged slightly outwards, almost like a¡­ ¡°Lucina!¡±, I shouted. ¡°Look out!¡±. But it was too late. Hex slid the magnifying glass over his laser. At once it became thinner and more focused, piercing straight through Lucina. The light enveloped her, and without a sound she was gone, leaving nothing but a scorch mark on the ground. ¡°Lucy, Lucy! LUCY!!¡±, Phoebe screamed as she ran towards the¡­ spot her sister once stood. Tears ran down her face as she knelt over it, having nothing to mourn. Even her last words had been stolen. Hex floated over her. ¡°So you truly cared for her. And yet, I killed her. Perhaps we¡¯re not so different as I¡¯d like to think¡±. She slowly stood up, glaring at him defiantly. ¡°You kill without remorse! That is the difference!¡±. For a moment Hex looked shaken, but he quickly recovered. ¡°I will build a just world, free from this madness. But I¡¯m afraid Heaven cannot save every soul. [Pyjcvwzbx Bxzfw]¡±. We found ourselves in a now familiar void. Hex spread his wings, and I saw a ray of light bouncing between the mirror shards within. Soon it was joined by others, and before long his wings simply glowed. ¡°Enough. [Z Pxm Rxjyppypj]¡±, his wings burst apart, releasing the holy light within. The sphere spread outwards, ready to engulf the whole dimension. There was nowhere to run or hide. ¡°[Spookier Mazier]!¡±, I shouted, pushing back the darkness with a dimension of my own creation. The light rebounded off the mirrors now surrounding us, forced to cover the rest of the abyss. Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. ¡°You improved your spell?¡±, Hex¡¯s eye widened as he tried and failed to crush my dimension. Our two realms had stabilized, mine as a mere bubble. ¡°And those mirrors¡­ it¡¯s like¡­!¡±. ¡°Yep¡±, I smugly replied. ¡°Since you won¡¯t stop stealing my spells, I figured I¡¯d copy some of yours too¡±. Indeed, what I created bore a striking resemblance to his perfect defense form, except made of gold since I couldn¡¯t conjure silver. ¡°Impressive. Still, you don¡¯t have the telekinetic strength to maintain it¡±. He threw a glass shard towards us, ripping through our gilded shield like a bullet. His eye widened at what emerged. Phoebe pointed her sword straight at him. ¡°Oh, forgot to mention¡±, I cheekily added. ¡°That isn¡¯t all I copied¡±. ¡°[Holy Beam]!¡±, Phoebe¡¯s laser passed through several magnifying lenses, amplifying its strength manyfold. ¡°[Nxblxhv Wybbsb]!¡±. Hex hurriedly summoned his defense form. The laser bounced off but struck with such force that it singed the prism. ¡°That¡¯s it! That¡¯s his flaw!¡±, I cheered her on. ¡°Hex can¡¯t attack and defend at once! Just keep him on the defensive¡­¡±. My words froze as I saw Hex¡¯s prism unfold into a flat sheet facing us. It blasted towards our puny mirror ball, hurled with the strength of a god. We both took cover inside, expecting it to send us flying. Reality was crueller. The sheet wrapped around us and started crushing inwards, constricting us like a snake. ¡°You were saying?¡±, Hex mocked us. ¡°Come on, Count Boogula. Your luck can¡¯t last forever¡­ but I can¡±. ¡°[Holy Beam]!¡±. Lucina continued burning through the mirror. The light could make it through, but it would never hit¡­ I smiled. Her strategy had just given me an idea. ¡°[Spooky Illusion]!¡±. Hex blinked in confusion as he saw a thousand lights burst through, creating what was basically a holy disco ball. The lights began converging towards him, and he cursed under his breath. ¡°[Nxblxhv Wybbsb]¡±. With no other choice, he was forced back on defense. Phoebe continued her relentless assault, pinning him down. As long as her stamina could keep up¡­ Light was already starting to break through his barrier. I could see faint glimmers of it bouncing around within, burning him. I frowned as the light grew stronger. ¡°Phoebe!¡±, I yelled out. ¡°He¡¯s attacking again!¡±. She turned towards me in confusion, as Hex¡¯s mirror prism hissed and smoked. ¡°Get us out of here!¡±. ¡°[Z Pxm Rxjyppypj]¡±. Hex¡¯s prism exploded, simply unable to contain the power within. He had turned his own defense form into a bomb, capable of wiping away any obstacle. ¡°Su-[Sunrise Break]!¡±. Even in death Lucina had saved us. The world around us swirled and broke apart, dumping us back outside the palace. We saw a light like a second sun erupt out of the doorway, slowly fading into the starry night sky. Hex quivered as he left his stronghold and flew above us, his wings burned and blackened. Down but not out, we met a glare filled with new fury. ¡°Come on, Hex¡±, I reasoned. ¡°Without your wings, you¡¯ve lost your defense form and all your fancy holy magic tricks. Plus, your pocket dimensions are basically useless now¡±. He glared at us like a fallen angel cast out for wrath. ¡°What I have left¡±, he spat, ¡°is still more than enough. [Xix sl Gqkjxwxpv]¡±. ¡°[Holy Beam]¡±. The two rays crashed together in a repeat of the first scene. I shook my head. He had been so creative until then, too, all just to throw it away in the end. Hex whipped his wings forward, launching all the shrapnel within towards Phoebe. My breath caught in my throat as I watched it descend upon her. There was no escape, no counter I could think of, and neither could she, judging by her expression. Completely oblivious to everything, our pet slime Globert emerged from his sack. The countless shards in the air suddenly froze. ¡°What? A slime?¡±. His expression of bewilderment soon changed to one of rage. ¡°You would use one of my own kind as a SHIELD?!¡±. ¡°He¡¯s a pet!¡±, Phoebe cried out. ¡°My sister gave him to me!¡±. Hex was now clearly losing the beam struggle, but he still did not dare attack with his wings. Doing so would only provoke the wrath of the dangerous monster now licking Phoebe¡¯s face and begging her for food. ¡°You¡­ You MONSTERS!!¡±, he screamed as the light washed over him. ¡°I won¡¯t forget this! ¡­Wh-Why doesn¡¯t it hurt?¡±. To my utter disbelief, Hex was not vaporized. Instead, he plopped to the ground¡­ as a slime. ¡°What did you do to me?!¡±. Phoebe calmly walked towards him. ¡°Well¡­ it didn¡¯t feel right to kill you. Sure, you¡¯re a threat to all of us, but in the end you¡¯re doing what you think is best for your own people, right? Just like most humans are doing. Besides, if we kill you, you¡¯ll just come back stronger again¡±. She knelt beside him and gave what she thought was a comforting smile. ¡°So, I decided ¡®justice¡¯ would be sealing all your powers and watching over you carefully. You¡¯ll adventure with us and learn to see things from a human perspective. It¡¯ll be fun!¡±. ¡°[Pyjcvwzbx Bxzfw]! [Xix sl Gqkjxwxpv]! [YPLYPYVX OSBBSM]!!¡±, Hex screamed into the wind. Suddenly he adopted a serious expression as he was picked up. ¡°You know this is all pointless. Eventually, someone will come along and break the seal. I guarantee it¡±. Phoebe just smiled at him again. ¡°And that¡¯s exactly why we need to change your mind, Hex. Now, let¡¯s introduce you to your new friend!¡±. Globert was too busy clinging atop Phoebe¡¯s head and shivering in fear. Hex oozed after it and tried to say hello, but it darted off. In the end she had to carry them in different bags. ¡°What am I, just toting around slimes now?¡±, she asked bitterly. ¡°Well you did basically ask for it¡±, I pointed out. ¡°Come on, admit it~! You like them, don¡¯t you?¡±. Phoebe stuck Globert in my face and I yelped in surprise. ¡°Hahahaha¡­ Never change, Count Boogula. Never change¡±. ¡°I¡¯m proud of you, Phoebe¡±, a voice whispered. She turned, but there was nothing there. ¡°What is it?¡±, I asked, curious. ¡°Oh, nothing. Just the disembodied voice of my sister. But we¡¯ll pretend it¡¯s the wind¡±. I nodded sagely. And thus, the story concluded for now. Humanity nearly met its end at the hands of the slimes, but thanks to the actions of one brave Globert, we were saved from ruin. Just as I predicted. Chapter 20 Alright, so I know what you¡¯re thinking. We saved the bee queen, liberated a city from the evils of coffee, and even fought God on the Moon. Where could this adventure possibly go next?! ¡°Phoebe, I think I¡¯d like to take a break¡±, I interrupted her. ¡°What?! But there¡¯s so much more we could do! We could explore the stars, even! Probably!¡±. ¡°Listen, as much as I¡¯ve enjoyed the¡­ utter insanity of the past two weeks, I feel like I¡¯ve done enough adventuring for one after-lifetime. I¡¯d like to just chill out and work at my old haunted house job for a bit¡±. Phoebe was silent for some time. Then¡­ ¡°Can I visit?¡±. The tentative question surprised me. I considered telling her that¡¯s not how haunted houses work. No, visitors must first get lost in mysterious fog. Only after they desperately start seeking shelter for the night will the doors ominously swing open for them. But instead, ¡°Sure¡± is what came out. And so we travelled to my old place of employment near Slime Valley. It was a modest mansion, lovingly maintained with strong interior beams but a ramshackle exterior, complete with scattered roof tiles, peeling paint, and an undead garden. Keeping up the facade of instability while actually being structurally sound was vital. Otherwise we¡¯d face lawsuits, and we already had enough trouble as is fending off those bloodsucking house inspectors. I gave the secret knock, and was answered by Josh the zombie. ¡°Hey! If it isn¡¯t¡­¡±. He stopped as soon as he saw Phoebe, and wiggled his arms threateningly. ¡°Wooo¡­¡±. She gave a blank stare in response. Josh turned to me, slightly paler. ¡°You sure brought a tough one, Count Boogula¡±. I nodded. With that, he welcomed us inside. The mood was set with a pipe organ playing ominously in the background. Or at least, it should have been playing ominously. Instead it sounded like the poor instrument was under attack. Phoebe walked down the hallway and brushed aside the bats, which were actually just cardboard cutouts hanging from string. I nodded at the craftsmanship, and how they were cleverly placed in the darkest area of the hall. Rounding the corner, we came to a dead end. Or so our guests thought¡­! In reality, it was a false wall made from paper mache. The only clue was the faint chuckling from Greg as he prepared to jump scare us. He yelped as Phoebe tore through the wall, giving a belated ¡°RAAAAGGGHHHH!¡± in response. This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. With unmatched bravery, she continued on and ripped through another fake wall, revealing the source of the cacophony plaguing our eardrums. Mark the zombie was¡­ struggling with the pipe organ, sweat pouring down his face as he thumped the keys. ¡°Um¡­¡±, she began. ¡°Count Boogula, what exactly is your role in all of this?¡±. ¡°Well, I play the pipe organ, and use [Spooky Maze] to create the illusion of bats, false walls, and other odd jobs¡±, I replied. Phoebe turned to me with a grim look on her face. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I didn¡¯t know you were so desperately needed here. I understand the situation now¡±. All I could give was a confused smile in response. ¡°How would you score us, miss?¡±, Greg asked, standing behind her. Phoebe yelped in surprise, quickly turning around with her sword drawn. ¡°Oh¡±, she calmed down immediately after seeing her attacker. ¡°Um¡­¡±. Greg couldn¡¯t help his bones rattling up and down in anticipation. ¡°Uh¡­ let¡¯s call it¡­ 4/10¡­?¡±. Greg collapsed on the spot, scattering all over the floorboards. ¡°4/10¡±, he sulked. ¡°I¡¯ll never be a ghost at this rate¡±. ¡°No! That¡¯s not true at all!¡±, Phoebe responded, wishing she had lied more. ¡°You guys have great potential! I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll be terrifying someday! Like¡­ Count Boogula¡­?¡±. He immediately reformed, more than a little pleased. ¡°Oh, well, I don¡¯t know about that, hehehe. As good as Count Boogula, you said?¡±, Greg nagged her for confirmation. She turned to me, ignoring him completely. ¡°You sure you don¡¯t want to go adventuring again?¡±. I hesitated. Not because I enjoyed all that chaos, no. Definitely not. I just didn¡¯t want to lose touch with the friend I¡¯d made. Seeing my reaction, she pulled a strange device out of her bag. ¡°Alright. Take this. It¡¯s called a ¡®walkie talkie¡¯, and it can send voices over long distances. It¡¯s like magic¡±. Mechadream¡¯s inventions never ceased to surprise me. We tested them out immediately. ¡°Is there a maximum range to these?¡±, I asked. ¡°Kshh, over¡±. ¡°Like one to five miles depending on terrain, but we¡¯ll ignore that. Kshh, over¡±, she replied. ¡°Well, I¡¯m glad we can still talk to each other. I wish you best of luck, Phoebe. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll become an A-rank adventurer in no time¡±. She froze for a second. ¡°Oh. Honestly¡­ I don¡¯t really care about ranks so much anymore. I just want to travel around and help people and stuff. Explore more cities, stop more schemes¡±. I was a little surprised at how eager she was to throw herself back into adventuring. But it was her job after all, so I didn¡¯t give it too much thought. Chapter 21 Oh Globert my goo, you jiggle with grace, Your gurgles are music, you make my heart race. Please wiggle beside me forever and ever, And with your googly stare, I hope we¡¯ll always be¡­ together. -Hex the Lovestruck Globert stared in confusion at the strange writing, clearly only there to impress her. She turned it over to read the slimespeak translation on the back, and quickly squirmed away. Hex sighed. ¡°What¡¯s this?¡±, Phoebe asked as she picked up the love note. Faster than a speeding bullet, Hex shot out of the bushes, quickly obscuring the letter. ¡°This is a dangerous text not fit for mortal eyes!¡±. Without further ado he swallowed the note, burping in relief as it digested. ¡°Oh, is that the love poem you¡¯ve been writing all week? ¡®Oh Globert my goo¡¯...¡±. Hex¡¯s face burned bright red as the words ¡®deny everything¡¯ thundered through his mind. ¡°¡­Don¡¯t you think you¡¯re coming on a little too strong? ¡®Please wiggle beside me¡¯¡­¡±. The next second, he wasn¡¯t thinking at all. ¡°I-I meant nothing improper by that! My love for Globert is entirely pure! And how have you memorized every line already?!¡±. If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. Phoebe shrugged. ¡°It is pretty memorable. You have that going for you, I guess. I¡¯m just surprised that Globert¡¯s a girl. I probably would¡¯ve named her differently had I known¡±. Hex relaxed, glad the conversation had shifted to safer waters. ¡°Oh, I wouldn¡¯t worry. She was probably male when you got her, anyways¡±. ¡°What? How exactly does that work?¡±. He blinked slowly. ¡°¡­Would you like me to explain the details of slime biology?¡±. ¡°On second thought, forget I asked¡±, Phoebe cringed. ¡°Good. Anyways, why aren¡¯t you taking the B-rank exam again?¡±, he quickly seized his chance to steer the conversation even further away from his love life. She stiffened. ¡°I¡¯m just not ready¡±. ¡°Really? Even after awakening holy magic?¡±. ¡°That was just a fluke¡±, she quickly dismissed it with a wave of her hand. ¡°Since then I haven¡¯t been able to use it. I just don¡¯t have the talent for it, simple as that¡±. Hex studied her carefully. ¡°¡­You know, maybe Count Boogula¡¯s right. You should take a break. A lot has happened, and taking the time to process it would be best¡±. ¡°What? I just explained everything to you, didn¡¯t I?!¡±, Phoebe¡¯s tone matched her rising irritation. ¡°We can¡¯t stop when there¡¯s so many monsters around! Our job is to help people!¡±. ¡°I can¡¯t help but feel as if you¡¯re distracting yourself¡±, Hex calmly stated. ¡°You¡¯ve been killing sugar worms for days now. I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if they¡¯re nearing extinction¡±. ¡°Then we¡¯ll find a different monster. Sugaria has no shortage of them¡±, she marched off, preempting a response. Hex let her go. Anything he could say now would just spark an argument. Besides, he already had another maiden¡¯s heart to unlock. ¡°Oh Globert, you¡¯re sweeter than sugar¡±, he mused aloud in front of some candidate words: looker, hooker, booger. ¡°¡­Rhymes are hard¡±. Chapter 22 ¡°8/10! 8/10, they said! Who¡¯s the new King of Scares? BOO GUH LA! BOO GUH LA!¡± I chanted. ¡°You think he¡¯d lose enthusiasm after the 214th time in a row¡­¡±, Greg moaned. ¡°Cheer up, Greg! At least you got second again!¡±, our bronze medalist Josh said. ¡°Still, even I wasn¡¯t expecting that he¡¯d break his old record, too¡±. The overall loser Mark simply sat in the corner, stunned into silence. Yes, we may be undead, but fire burns through our hearts whenever we chill someone¡¯s blood, especially if it¡¯s during a high stakes competition. ¡°Boo guh lah¡­ Boo guh la¡­¡±, I softly finished my chant early out of respect for Mark. He was justifiably sore about his new record when a guest gave him -100/10. Half of me expected that I would somehow ¡®miss¡¯ adventuring, and that I would ¡®yearn¡¯ to return to the days of fighting villains with terrible taste. Instead, I quite enjoyed having easier prey than the battle-hardened Darkbane sisters, the defective war machines from Mechadream, and worst of all, the slimes. Plus I got to chat with Phoebe regularly, who kept me up to date on her spectacular exploits. She also often implored me to become an adventurer again. To be honest, travelling with her was the thing I missed the most. I had quickly gotten my fill of seeing the world, but the people I met along the way were a different matter. For now, though? I had a story to tell. My three coworkers gathered around as I recounted our incredible tales through honey, robots, sugar, and an unworldly terrible vacation spot. ¡°Then I was like ¡®that coffee¡¯s gotta be evil magic, guys¡¯, and they were all like ¡®no way¡¯! But then we went to Coffee Corp, and Hex was like ¡®mwahaha, all according to plan¡¯!¡±. ¡°Woah!¡±, Mark gasped. My coworkers edged forward in their seats, desperate to hear the rest of the epic saga. I smiled with glee. Little did they know this wasn¡¯t even the craziest part. ¡°And then, then he said¡±, I quickly adopted a mock serious face, ¡°¡®we¡¯re being evil in spaaaace¡¯¡±. The room burst into laughter at the punchline, Greg barely holding himself together. I always knew Hex had a talent for comedy! ¡°Man, this guy sounds like such a joke¡±, Josh said in between tears. I could only concur. ¡°Well, it¡¯s my turn! Gather round, everyone!¡±, Greg said. Mark and Josh left while I eagerly pondered which of his seventeen tales he would recite this time. BANG! BANG! We all quickly turned around. To call it ¡®knocking¡¯ would be a gross understatement; someone was trying to batter down the door. I sighed. Ghostly etiquette was quite clear on the matter: if the doors did not mysteriously open by themselves, you were not invited in. Still, we got the odd confused guest every now and then. Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings. BANG! CRASH! For someone to actually kick in the door, however, was new. They were pretty big doors, so it¡¯d take someone of both unmatched strength and bad taste to do that. Either it was a horrible guest or the world¡¯s least subtle ghosthunter. We should¡¯ve been much more cautious, but curiosity got the better of us. A clown shoe had broken through our doorway of no return, and it was soon followed by a man wearing a three-colored jester hat. His suit was a garish assault on the senses composed of harsh reds, electric blues, and yellow stars. If looking into the Sun was bad, this was worse. Our unfashionable intruder wore a wide grin, although it dimmed a bit upon seeing our four shocked faces. His eyes fixed on me, and he gave an exaggerated but rapid bow that seemed more apt for mockery than flattery. ¡°Greetings, honorable undead! My name is Jingle Jack, and I am the ringmaster of the prestigious travelling circus, the Marvellous Managerie of Mourning and Mirth!¡±. ¡°You¡¯ve got the wrong building¡±, I dispensed with all pleasantries. Anything to get this eyesore out of here. He chuckled amiably. ¡°Not at all, my friend. For I am searching for ghostly talents, and it seems I have struck gold with you! Your name, if I may inquire?¡±. ¡°Count Boogula¡±, I hesitated as I replied. Flattery may buy my name, but little more. My mind was an unshakeable fortress that had only grown more wise over my adventures. Jingle Jack¡¯s eyes widened. ¡°Count Boogula, you say?! Could it be, that you are the legend who invented the masterpiece of our age, [Spooky Maze]? I¡¯m a huge fan of your work, and I must say I am simply honored to be standing in your presence right now!¡±. ¡°Well, that was just my college thesis¡±, I floated a bit higher in the air. ¡°Yeah, believe it or not, but I¡¯ve actually improved on it since. Just a little old secret between you and me¡±. After all, even I was humble enough to admit when I had misjudged someone. Despite his questionable dress sense, this was clearly a man of culture. ¡°I expected nothing less from their finest prodigy¡±, he bowed deeply. ¡°Yes, you could be the star of my show! No, it would be our show! We could demonstrate your genius to the world!¡±. ¡°Uhhh¡­ I¡¯m most grateful for the offer, but inventing new fields of ghostly magic does keep me rather busy I¡¯m afraid¡­¡±. I felt a twinge of guilt, but there¡¯s no way I was being dragged around the world again so soon after getting back home. ¡°I understand completely!¡±, he bowed again. ¡°And I must apologize for troubling you so much. However, perhaps you could spare just a few moments to come visit our humble circus show? On the house, of course. Oh, and you could even bring along a few ghostly friends!¡±. I magnanimously accepted the free tickets. It was the least I could do after all, and with such a discerning scholar at the helm, it was sure to be a hit. And I knew exactly who to appreciate the spectacle with. ¡°¡­So you¡¯re telling me, this rando jester breaks into your house and gives you free tickets?¡±, Phoebe confirmed. ¡°Yep¡±. ¡°Count Boogula, either this guy¡¯s desperate for publicity, or there¡¯s something fishy at work¡±. ¡°¡­Is that a no?¡±. ¡°Quite the opposite, it sounds great. I¡¯m just warning you, as your friend, this sounds like a really forced adventure hook to me¡±. Nah, couldn¡¯t be. Chapter 23 While I had been happy to get free tickets, I was a little less thrilled when I learned that the show would be held all the way over in Sugaria. ¡°Hahaha! Bet you regret taking them now!¡±, Phoebe laughed. ¡°At least I don¡¯t have to travel!¡±. I groaned. Travelling circuses do move around a lot, so perhaps I should¡¯ve expected this. Still¡­ ¡°Why are they going all the way to Sugaria?! There are plenty of closer stops!¡±, I objected. ¡°Mmm¡­ Pollentown hardly ever allows humans in, and until very recently, Mechadream had tight security that would¡¯ve been too much hassle for them. None of the other towns close by are big enough. Sorry Count Boogula, but you guys really are out in the middle of nowhere¡±. ¡°Well, excuse me! It¡¯s not like you can just plop a haunted house right in the middle of a city! There¡¯s gotta be a certain mystique and air of isolation about it!¡±. ¡°¡­You could back out if you really wanted to, you know¡­¡±. ¡°No, I¡¯m going¡­¡±, I sighed in resignation as Phoebe giggled. Indeed, despite all my protests I found myself lined up at a carnival soon enough. What was I even doing here? Was I really so desperate for validation that I¡¯d travel for days to see the circus show of some guy that liked my spell? Maybe the real clown was me. My misgivings were only deepened by the sight of the ticket taker. ¡°What a pleasant surprise! If it isn¡¯t our scrumptious saviors, Phoebe and Count Boogula!¡±, Fluffygrin was being enthusiastically greeted by Globert yet again. ¡°Hex, not you too!¡±, Phoebe despaired as she realized we were making a scene. ¡°Slime instincts¡±, Hex said in between mouthfuls of gingerbread. ¡°It¡¯s t-totally n-not like I¡¯m hoping for an indirect k-kiss or anything. Oh wow, this guy is baked right¡±. Fluffygrin chuckled as Phoebe finally pulled the two troublemakers off. ¡°Have fun, you four! Jingle Jack¡¯s got a great show planned tonight!¡±. Jack might as well have let Hex set up a free coffee stand outside, too. An endorsement from the same guy who enjoyed getting devoured alive by slimes was only slightly more subtle. Why had I come here again? Truly my mind was an enigma, undeciphered even after centuries of study by the one and only King of Scares. Still, the decision in front of me was obvious. Turning around now may add to my mysterious aura, but Phoebe would call me a chicken. Forward it was. We slipped into our cramped seats amongst the chattering masses. Before long the curtain rose over the stage. Spotlights panned over Jingle Jack, who gave his warmest smile. ¡°It feels great to be back in Sugaria! You folks look delicious today!¡±. The crowd cheered in response. ¡°Let¡¯s start with a fun little question!¡±, with a snap of his fingers, he disappeared, and two copies of him stood on stage. ¡°Which one is the real me?¡±. He smiled as the children pointed and argued amongst themselves, before revealing himself. I leaned forward in my seat. Whoever they had doing illusion magic was good, and if Jack himself was casting it, it was even more impressive. Perhaps it wouldn¡¯t be so bad after all. ¡°Unlike most circuses, here at the Marvellous Menagerie of Mourning and Mirth, we focus on quality over quantity¡±, he continued. ¡°And I assure you, we have quite the select lineup for you good folks here tonight! Without further ado I give you our warmup act, the Candle Choir!¡±. He lifted a glass jar over his head, which seemed to have a ghost inside. We didn¡¯t see the ghost itself though, instead the jar had a small image that seemed to cycle through expressions and poses. Jack took off the lid, releasing the ghost within. This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. It had a candle flame at the top of its head, hence its stage name. But that wasn¡¯t the most striking feature about it¡­ ¡°It has three faces? How does that work?¡±, I whispered. Hex simply shook his head, having no idea either. Then the ghost started to sing, its voices combining into a beautiful melody. It was calming yet mournful at the same time, like the acceptance of something tragic. The crowd broke into applause as the ghost finished and was bottled once more. Hex frowned, as if trying to recall an old memory. The jar was a rather strange touch. ¡°Thank you, thank you¡±, Jack smiled. ¡°They¡¯ve got quite the talent! But my dear guests, if thrills are what you¡¯re after, then this next act is just for you!¡±. Just by chance, I saw the light catch on a hairline crack in the next jar he raised. The audience gasped as the new ghost was released. White and black stripes wrapped around its abdomen, leading to a vicious stinger. Indeed, it was¡­ ¡°Sugarplums and gumdrops, I present to you a fierce warrior hailing from Pollentown, the White Bee!¡±. Gauging the crowd¡¯s reaction, Jack decided to tone it down a bit. ¡°Now, I can assure you firsthand that we keep all our performers on a tight leash. Everything is perfectly under control¡­¡±. As if on cue, the glass jar in his hand shattered. The bee screeched, dove, and impaled Jack seemingly all at once, before the first scream even began. With a puff of smoke, Jingle Jack¡¯s illusory body double disappeared, and he was already bearing down from the left with a fresh jar in hand. Taking him in with its compound eyes, the bee instinctively ducked right as the vessel skimmed right by its head. Jack merely smiled. Snap! A wire high above the set was suddenly cut, and the White Bee looked up just in time to see the jar thunk over its head. Its body shrank and was sucked right in. Jingle Jack held up the jar proudly. ¡°Nothing to fear, dear guests! The White Bee is back in the jar, and not a drop of honey spilled!¡±. Only a few nervous chuckles swept through the crowd. With such a ridiculous capture method, they clung to the faint hope it was all part of the show, but the whole exchange had happened so fast they knew it couldn¡¯t have been anything but a real fight. ¡°Goodness me¡±, Jack adopted a frown for the first time ever. ¡°I thought that act would be a hit, but it appears I overdid it¡±. He bowed deeply to the audience. ¡°Rest assured that here at the Marvellous Menagerie, your safety is always our top priority. And with that, I hope to end on an act that everyone can enjoy¡±. ¡°He¡¯s enslaved them¡±, Hex seethed. ¡°To think that some sick freak would use that jar like this¡­ to turn noble spirits into circus sideshows¡­ it¡¯s unforgivable!¡±. I slowly nodded in disbelief. The crowd relaxed a little as Jingle Jack revealed the next ghost, a glove and paintbrush. Immediately it started painting on the air itself. It made a house and three people. The picture was simplistic and blurry like a child¡¯s drawing, and it instantly endeared the audience. ¡°Does any child here want a toy?¡±, Jack nodded at the first hand that cautiously rose. ¡°A ball¡±. ¡°Dabble¡±, he commanded the ghost gently but firmly. Instantly the paintbrush sprang into action. Its style changed completely as it painted a red ball in lifelike detail, with shadows and glare. With a flourish the glove pointed at the picture, and it turned into a real ball bouncing about on the stage. At first the audience was simply stunned, but soon they started cheering as Jack handed the ball to the boy. ¡°What do you think?¡±, he asked. ¡°I wanted a blue one¡±, the boy frowned. Seemingly invigorated by the applause, Jingle Jack didn¡¯t even blink as he complied with the boy¡¯s request. ¡°We¡¯ll do a few more¡±, he smiled, creating a toy rocket, a teddy bear, and a rocking horse. ¡°I¡¯m afraid that¡¯s all we can do for now¡±, he beamed at the sea of raised hands. ¡°Any toy your child desires can be yours for only 5 silver after the show. We can also negotiate commissions. But for now, its time for the final event¡­ Dabble!¡±. The audience stared in shock as the ghost painted¡­ themselves. It was a lifelike picture of the entire crowd. Everyone looked around for their own painted double in bewilderment. Even just as a piece of art, it was simply unbelievable. Jingle Jack was already performing a playful drumroll on the sidelines, as the glove drew circles around the work with its finger. We all held our breath, wondering what would happen this time. With a final point, the painting collapsed into a sea of humanoid dolls. The painted heads were entirely lifelike, but anything below that was rendered as a simple mannequin. The dolls all bowed in one smooth motion. After a few seconds they all disappeared in a puff of smoke. For a while the crowd was stunned speechless. But when the first person clapped, everyone quickly joined in. Without a doubt, it was the most amazing thing they would ever see. Jingle Jack bowed as the stands roared with applause. Indeed, the incident with the White Bee was already long forgiven. The curtains closed over another show well done. But they would soon rise over another. Joke Chapter: Hex Did Nothing Wrong From humanity¡¯s perspective, Hex is a kind of tragic villain, a ghost who wants to wipe us out due to persecution and grief. But put yourself in Hex¡¯s shoes: imagine you¡¯re a human just living in peace. Then a new species of sentient cockroach just spawns forth on the planet all of a sudden. Not only that, but they start killing people at random and acting like they own the place. What do you do? Declare war? No. Hex instead learned how to speak cockroach and tried to negotiate. Unfortunately, cockroaches have extremely short lifespans and don¡¯t respect treaties their ancestors made, so all hopes of negotiation were dashed and they continued killing. War yet? Nope, Hex next tries to resettle and find a different place for humanity to live. However, the cockroaches quickly invade every plot of land the humans are living on and claim it for themselves. Hex sticks purely to self defense even when they try to murder him. Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon. After a few more fruitless attempts at setting up a home for humanity, he resorts to trying to mind control the cockroaches into accepting their people. Sadly this scheme turns out to be simply unworkable. Then, one of those cockroaches murders his mom for no good reason. Finally deciding that enough is enough, he turns to the last resort: extermination. What stops him at the very end? He learns that one of his kind was unwittingly caught in the crossfire, and refuses to move forward with his attack. From the human perspective he is a cold, cynical monster who wants to kill his oppressors out of revenge. But from his perspective, he comes across like some naive saint on par with Spongebob. Anyone else in his shoes would¡¯ve chosen pest control long ago. The only evil thing he did was killing 5 bees in Pollentown and trying to possess their queen. That was because of an ancient racial grudge between their people; as both slimes and bees see the other as just mindless drones. Nevertheless they could probably still coexist, as bees mostly keep to themselves unlike humanity. So that was wrong of Hex to do, but when it comes to humanity he is the real hero of the story. Chapter 24 ¡°[Spooky Maze]¡±, Jingle Jack grinned as he uttered the spell behind stage. Soon we found ourself in a strange new world. The sky was blocked out under one giant tent, and the whole ground was a stage. Funhouse mirrors were scattered around like trees and strange clocks pointing to all different times hung from the ceiling. It was a picture of chaos. Hex stared at me. ¡°¡­You aren¡¯t going to insult them for ripping off ¡®your¡¯ spell?¡±. ¡°What? No, of course not. He gave me proper credit, so by definition it isn¡¯t plagiarism¡±, I stated the obvious. ¡°Though it is likely a copyright violation¡±. ¡°Are you kidding me?!¡±. ¡°Count Boogula!¡±, Jingle Jack interrupted us. ¡°I must admit, I¡¯m a little peeved you didn¡¯t bring along any other ghostly spectators. But I¡¯m still overjoyed you came! What¡¯d you think of my performance?¡±. ¡°You monster¡±, Hex answered for me. ¡°Are we nothing but tools to you? This is precisely why ghosts and humans can never coexist¡±. Jack blinked. ¡°¡­Who¡¯s the talking slime?¡±. Hex fumed, somehow melting into a corrosive goo from sheer rage. I suppose eating your enemy would be a pretty rational response for a slime. ¡°How could you do something like this?¡±, Phoebe asked. ¡°Have you no soul? Ghosts are living¡­ well not living, but they are beings just like we are! To cage and exploit them for profit is simply beyond the pale!¡±. ¡°My dear guest, all that we are is up here¡±, Jingle Jack pointed to his head. ¡°There is no such thing as a ¡®soul¡¯. Ghosts are just fabrications, they have no sentience¡±, he smiled. ¡°They do, however, make for great works of art¡±. Silence swept across the stage. Clearly, there was no more discussion to be had, no way we could reason against that. I was sentient of course, but come to think of it, even I couldn¡¯t be completely sure if my memories as a human were real. Hex turned to Phoebe. ¡°Release me from my seal. If I had even a fraction of my power, I would smite this madman¡±. She shook her head. I sighed. Were we really doing this? Going from a virtual god to a literal clown was such an embarrassing de-escalation of stakes. I could not even muster the strength to make fun of him because there was nothing to be snarky about. No grand plan, no vision. Just a few more coins in his wallet. Even his powers were copied. Truly a minor villain. This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source. ¡°Phoebe, just use your ¡®Sunrise Break¡¯ thingy. This guy barely qualifies as a minion. I¡¯m sure some F-rank adventurer will be grateful for the easy quest¡±. ¡°¡­I¡­ I can¡¯t¡­¡±, Phoebe wouldn¡¯t meet my gaze. Oh. I had been awful naive, hadn¡¯t I? To think that the death of her sister wouldn¡¯t affect her in the slightest. She hadn¡¯t mourned for her at all, hadn¡¯t healed since then. Instead, she had just been distracting herself with adventuring, while I¡¯d been¡­ ¡°Phoebe, I¡¯m sorry¡±, I said. ¡°I should¡¯ve been there for you. I haven¡¯t been a very good friend, have I?¡±. She was quiet. Background clown clapped. ¡°Oooh, a tragedy! And what excellent acting! Don¡¯t leave me in the dark here, what¡¯s the story? Grief, mayhaps? The crowd would love to know!¡±. Phoebe stepped forward, raising her sword. Holy magic or not, it didn¡¯t really matter. Even with his illusion magic, he could only stall for so long. ¡°White Bee! Keep her busy!¡±, Jingle Jack shamelessly called for backup right away. The ghost burst forth, engaging Phoebe in an even fight: sword versus stinger. Skill versus speed. Impressive, but here¡¯s where I would come in! With my [Spooky Illusion] technique, I could ensure a swift end to this proxy battle¡­ ¡°Count Boogula, there¡¯s an intriguing rumor I¡¯ve heard¡±, Jingle Jack grinned. ¡°Could it be¡­ you¡¯re afraid of slimes? Let¡¯s find out! Dabble!¡±. The paintbrush quickly conjured up a whole swarm of the green demons, and they surged towards me with a vengeance. I bolted at first, but they quickly surrounded me, their vacant eyes freezing me in place like I was trapped in a nightmare. Dabble was still drawing more up in the sky, causing it to rain slimes. That confirmed I was awake, at least. If my imagination was powerful enough to conjure that kind of horror, I¡¯d have snapped long ago. Jingle Jack leapt towards me with a twisted smirk, jar in hand. Surely this had to be cheating! Where were the referees? Who on Earth was letting this sad farce continue?! At least Hex was mostly fair! I couldn¡¯t believe I was looking back on his standards of villainy with nostalgia of all things, but this was such an unfair, hideous mockery of a fight¡­ ¡°[Sunshine Break]!¡±, Phoebe shouted in panic. Yes! There was no way we could ever lose to a bottom-tier scumbag like this! A retreat was the best he could ever begin to hope for¡­ ¡°Tooo laaate¡±, Jingle Jack sang as I was sucked into the jar. With a cackle he and I disappeared. Phoebe found herself back in the stands, now dark and empty. She looked around, unable to process what had happened. It couldn¡¯t be possible. Surely this was all a nightmare. Had she really just gotten her best friend¡­ captured¡­ and enslaved¡­ to that man? Phoebe¡¯s sword clattered to the ground. ¡°If Lucina were here¡­¡±, her shoulders shook. ¡°I don¡¯t understand¡­ she was so much stronger than I could ever be¡­ so why her?¡±. Hex sighed. ¡°You aren¡¯t lacking in strength. You beat me after all, remember?¡±. Phoebe looked up at him, uncertain. ¡°We¡¯ve both done things we can¡¯t ever take back. But this one is simple. Let¡¯s get your friend back¡±.