《Heather Exploit - the drive to madness》 Intro - Last Night Everything''s a little fuzzy. I can feel myself moving, but im not sure where or how. I twist and turn before I finally realise what woke me up. An intense buzzing next to my head and vibrations in the mattress. But that''s not it, the words reach me now. Soft spoken, tired but kind words. ¡°Mikey¡­ Mikey, its 10am¡± My head turns again while my hand reaches for the device next to my head. A murky, blurry image is what I see, but I still recognize her golden hair cascading down her shoulders like flowing water, her bright neon green eyes glowing in the darkness like unavoidable spotlights and her slim figure hidden in her white silk robes. She¡¯s got the softest face imaginable, small and round, something almost like a fairytale. I hit the vibrating annoyance; it beeps silently, accepting its recognition. It finally stops. I try to sit up, but my body won''t let me. I¡¯m too tired, I refuse to. ¡°It''s been buzzing for thirty minutes. I can hear it from our bedroom¡± Our bedroom. Across the apartment opposite where I¡¯m guessing I am right now. I muster up the strength to speak, but it''s shrill, ugly and tainted with both a dry throat and oily mouth. ¡°Sorry. Am I in the repair bed?¡± I''m almost embarrassed at how I sound, like I hadn¡¯t spoken in days, especially compared to her tone. It really is embarrassing. I try to cough to get my voice back but nothing comes up. My head is laid back in defeat. I¡¯ve given up trying to function at the moment. Closed eyes, trying to ignore the reality of where Im at and what it means. ¡°You already know you are Mikey¡± I¡¯m such a bad husband. ¡°Fuck. Tila, I¡¯m sorry, I didn¡¯t¡­ well¡­¡± ¡°You didn¡¯t mean to? But you don¡¯t remember last night, do you?¡± ¡°No, I don¡¯t¡± I really am an embarrassment. ¡°Mikey, it¡¯s okay. At least you came home by yourself yesterday.¡± ¡°Well. That¡¯s an improvement, right?¡± ¡°That being said. You promised you wouldn¡¯t do it this week¡± She¡¯s right. These misadventures need to stop. We moved away from that life, I don¡¯t have to fight anymore, no matter how much I want to. Especially when it leaves me like this. I can¡¯t remember last night, which means I lost my temper again. That''s the second time this week. ¡°Do you need the Ram1 or Ram2 Shot?¡± ¡°... do I really need a-¡± ¡°Yes, you do¡± ¡°I must look as shit as I feel then¡± ¡°I¡¯ll assume that means a Ram1¡± ¡°No no. I think I can¡­ get through with the 2¡± ¡°You sure?¡± ¡°Mostly Positive¡± She sighs. I hate it when she does. It makes me feel even more guilty. Last time I took the 2 when she offered me the 1, it wasn¡¯t enough and I needed another double shot of Ram2. That ended up being twice as expensive as just taking the 1. If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. But she still gives me her faith, no matter how many times I fuck up. I dont know how many more times I can give myself that sort of faith. She picks up my arm. I feel her soft, unaltered fingers gliding across my metal. I shiver; my sensitivity must be going haywire, which means this is gonna hurt. She opens my forearm, I feel her fingers digging through it to find the Ram slot. I want to struggle and rip away, it stings all the way down my spine. I shake when she finds and touches the slot. She notices and sighs again. She always told me to mention if it hurts, but then she¡¯d give me the painkillers. I dont deserve it. I hear the box under the repair bed open, next thing I know, the Ram2 stick is deep inside my arm, I''m jolted with pure pain and groaning loudly, bending upwards and doing my best to at least keep my arm still. It''s over quickly. She closes my arm and strokes it gently. I feel my veins and wires pulsing with blood energy. Cold spreads through my body to the furthest tips; my arm is frigid. ¡°Painkillers are worth the price, Mikey¡± ¡°They are¡­ but I don¡¯t deserve any rewards¡± ¡°For Christ''s sake, people make mistakes. Don¡¯t torture yourself over them¡± ¡°I have to if I keep making them. Gotta be punished to learn¡± ¡°Ever heard of positive reinforcement? At this point, I feel like this is just an elaborate way to get a kick out of it¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°This torture. I swear, it''s got to be some typa guilty pleasure. I¡¯m starting to feel jealous. Is the Ram better than me?¡± ¡°Tila! Gross!¡± ¡°You¡¯re the sadist¡± ¡°Am not!¡± ¡°Right, sorry, it''s masochist, isn''t it?¡± ¡°Im not an ¡®any-ist¡¯ okay?!¡± ¡°Then take the painkiller next time¡± ¡°...fine. But I''m doing it for you, not me¡± ¡°That''s okay. You¡¯ll learn¡± She bends down and kisses me on the cheek. ¡°I¡¯ll go make us some tea. Don¡¯t move, my little non-ist.¡± ¡°Not like I was going to¡± Saying that, I test the limbs just to see if I could. As expected, I''m numb as hell. I look over at the wall. It''s blank to the naked eye. I flick the top part of my mouth with my tongue and think about activating the eyes. As commanded, my infrared turns on and I see writing, statistics and numbers on the screen wall. Internal batteries are at 82%. Emergency batteries at 93%. The overall status is stable but significant damage to my motor functions and head cask. Heart rate and pulse rate are regular, but they shot up to critical amounts around 01:21. The Time of overcharge and memory loss is estimated to be 01:26. Probably no community reports yet; Tila would¡¯ve mentioned them. I hope I didn¡¯t go too far. Recently, it hasn¡¯t been that bad; I¡¯ve only caused 3 to go to Medicare in the last year. But I can never really know before a report comes in. Tila seems in a good mood, though. I try to move my arm again. It feels better. A bit surprising, I¡¯ve never had a headache this bad, but my body seems alright for the most part. I hear the kettle beeping; it''s finished boiling. Chapter 1 - Broadcast It¡¯s been 14 minutes and 12 seconds. Tila is taking a while. I don¡¯t usually care to wait, but it is unusual for her. The screen says I''m at 100%. I don¡¯t feel like it. I wait for another 10 minutes and 32 seconds, still nothing. Testing the arm again yields me good results, the numbness went away quickly. I feel mostly good, just this headache and dizziness are keeping me down. My feet slide off the repair bed and I force myself up. The cables attached from the bed disconnect from my back. I turn my vision back to normal. It''s dark, cold and uninteresting. This little room is hidden in the corner of the house and it really shows. She hates this place. Maybe hate is a strong word, but she does try her best to avoid it. When we first moved, she said this was where ¡°all the magic¡± would be happening. Back then she didn¡¯t fully understand what it was for. The walls are metallic. The door slides open and closed like a heavy gate, powered by a button on the wall. Cables string from the ceiling. Everything is some sort of hidden container, either for hardware to keep me standing or for software to keep me safe. We told ourselves we¡¯d keep NatureTech at a minimum in the house, so we stuffed it all in here. I remember when these kinds of things were my home before I met Tila. Now I sort of hate it. Tila¡¯s opinions rub off on me. But I do think she¡¯s right. I grab my shirt, pants and jacket. It''s cold in here. I open the door with a heavy smack on the button, a bit too hard. I¡¯m not numb, but my functions aren¡¯t fully under control yet. I should warn her not to touch me yet. God forbid I twist her hand by accident again. Light pours in, warm, like sunshine, but it''s only the candles Tila keeps around the house. I always thought candlelight and sunlight looked the same. Tila says she can easily notice the difference. The apartment, even this late at night, is as homely as ever. Her plants, candles, light, sent and paintings cover my life. Straight Dopamine. I might be an addict. I walk into our little living room, through the kitchen. It''s not a big place, but Tila picked it and that¡¯s all I needed to hear. She watching TV, sitting on the couch, holding the kettle in one hand, remote in the other. Must¡¯ve gotten distracted. ¡°Tila, I think I really can do it on Ram2 this time, I¡¯m alright standing, see?¡± She doesn¡¯t avert her gaze or move. The room is still dark, even with the candles. I can¡¯t really see her expression. I walk closer. ¡°Don¡¯t touch me yet though, I don¡¯t think my internals have calibrated yet, but I am full ch-¡± I finally see her face. It''s blank, hypnotized in a trance. My head snaps to the TV screen. It¡¯s playing the song. Blue, Green and Yellow dots, waves and pixels almost like static is blaring in toned colours. The song, something I can¡¯t hear, is pulling her in. I dash over to block the TV with my body. ¡°Tila! Tila!¡± She can¡¯t hear me. Too far gone. At least 5 minutes in. I take a step towards her, ready to reach out and shake her out of it, before I catch myself. I dont want to hurt her. I can¡¯t turn it off. I run to the kitchen, opening the cabinet and grabbing a glass hastily. How long has it been? It could be approaching 10 minutes. I open the bottle of water from the cooler. I grab the glass, but I can hear my heart getting faster, I¡¯m panicking a little. My fingers constrict, I shatter the glass in my hand, shards go flying. ¡°Fuck!¡± I reach for another, but first I wait, trying to breathe regularly. I try to grab another, but my arm goes off, it throws itself into the cabinet. More smashing. ¡°Fuck this!¡± I turn to Tila. Stop panicking. Grab the whole bottle. Walk over. Block the TV. Unscrew the cap. Unscrew the cap. Error. It won¡¯t come off. My heart is racing. My body won¡¯t listen to me. A tiny voice in my head is telling me my heart rate is too high. Enough. I lift the bottle over her head and rip it in half. Water goes everywhere. I grab the softest pillow within reach and smack her over the head. ¡°Tila! Tila!¡± She coughs and recoils as I¡¯m about to smack her again. I pull back. Grabbing a couple more pillows I try to hand them to her. She¡¯s finally aware. She keeps her eyes closed and puts the pillows to her ears. She rushes to the bedroom. I follow her and close the door. The noise should be damped out. I wait in front of the door patiently, she¡¯s planted herself face down into the bed. 2 minutes and 28 seconds go by. She looks up from the bed. Soaked. How much did I dump on her? ¡°Fucking hell Mikey¡­¡± ¡°How long?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know. I don¡¯t¡­¡± ¡°Remember? At least 5 minutes.¡± ¡°Why.. They don¡¯t play it on our channels.. And certainly not at this time!¡± ¡°Tila it''s okay, painkiller? Naproxen or Profen?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know¡± She¡¯s a little delirious. I sit down next to her. She tries to hug me but I stop her. ¡°I¡¯m not calibrated yet¡± ¡°Right¡­¡± We sit in silence for 41 seconds. ¡°Explain to me again why we can¡¯t just rip out the cord,¡± She says with a light smile, touching her wet hair. ¡°You¡¯ve drenched me.¡± ¡°I.. also broke a couple of the glasses¡­¡± ¡°Wow. You were really panicking¡± ¡°Caught me at a really bad time¡± ¡°Sorry¡­¡± ¡°Don¡¯t. I don¡¯t get it either, that shouldn¡¯t have been playing.¡± ¡°... So about that cord¡± ¡°The messaging needs to be played in full. If it¡¯s cut off for any reason then its marked and reported.¡± ¡°Even out here in the Kulak District?¡± ¡°Especially¡± ¡°So it¡¯s not just an excuse to get me wet?¡± ¡°Tila! For fucks sake how do you even-¡± ¡°I¡¯m kidding! Geez. Can¡¯t lighten the mood a little?¡± I sigh, rubbing my hands over my face. ¡°I panicked so bad. Why did I even try to grab a glass?¡± She chuckles at my idiocy, then rubs her head. ¡°Did you hit me with a pillow?¡± ¡°...no¡± Guilty as can be. She breaks out laughing. She hugs me. I freeze, completely still. Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. ¡°Thank you¡± She kisses my neck. I¡¯d be getting a good dose of Dopamine right now if I weren¡¯t scared shitless. ¡°Tila. I¡¯m not calibrated¡­¡± ¡°What can I say, I live life on the edge¡± She tightens her grip on me. This woman. My heart rate was over the limit for 3 minutes and 13 seconds total. It¡¯s been 29 minutes and 126 seconds in total. In other words, about half an hour since I got up and how long it took until I¡¯ve finally finished calibrating. Tila is cleaning up the mess I made and reheating the tea while Im fiddling with the back of the TV, trying to figure out how that shit got on our channel. They must¡¯ve had an update. That, or something bad has gone down here. The Webwork shouldn¡¯t have any interest in the Kulak Districts. People like me made sure of that. ¡­ I made sure of that. ¡°Did you take your meds?¡± Tila is humming to herself, throwing away the glass. ¡°Doin it now hun¡± She walks over with two teas and a pill between her fingers. ¡°Thanks¡± She sets it down next to me on the ground. ¡°Are you almost done?¡± ¡°Not really. Haven¡¯t found the issue yet¡± ¡°Maybe it isn¡¯t an update?¡± ¡°That would be worse¡± ¡°Does it have to be? Maybe they finally want to expand into the Kulaks¡± ¡°Doubt it. They have enough room in Intra to house a second planet¡± ¡°Maybe they want to reopen the mines here¡± ¡°There''s three dozen Kulaks closer to Intra with closed mines that aren¡¯t flooded in piss, shit and bird carcases¡± ¡°Then let¡¯s hope you find an answer, later¡± ¡°Later?¡± ¡°Come sit with me¡± ¡°I don¡¯t-¡± ¡°Please Mikey¡± I relent. Holding my tea, I let her lead me to the couch. It''s still only 4:39. The broadcast played at 4:30 exactly. The only people awake at these times are the Nutters and the Bullies. Only a couple Nutters even own any screens and the Bullies¡­ well¡­, they¡¯re the ones runnin this dump. We sit. She first takes her second favourite spot on the couch, but when I take mine, she moves to her first, in my lap. ¡°I can always put a pillow down first you know¡± ¡°No no, I want to snuggle, contact is the kinda the point¡± ¡°All you¡¯re ¡®contacting¡¯ with on my lap is metal¡± ¡°But it¡¯s your metal. Besides, it¡¯s better for my posture¡± ¡°Righttt¡± I wrap my arms around her waist. She takes long, deep breaths as she snudges into me, adjusting herself until she¡¯s satisfied. ¡°Don¡¯t act like you dont like it. I know you can feel it. That¡¯s what the receptors are for¡± ¡°Yah, I know, but you just feel cold hard metal¡± ¡°It feels all the better if I know you can¡± I sigh again. She¡¯s absolutely right though, I love it. We sip on our drinks together. She takes her pill. ¡°Feeling better?¡± ¡°Mostly. Vision is still a bit foggy¡± ¡°You were exposed to it for a while¡± ¡°Duh¡± ¡°Whatyoumean Duh?¡± ¡°Duh¡± I shut up. She wins these types of battles. ¡°Can you go shopping in the morning?¡± ¡°Yeah¡­ yeah I can¡± ¡°Thanks. I know you don¡¯t like it but-¡± ¡°You¡¯ve had a bad night, don¡¯t even worry about it. If anything, I should always be going out on these errands.¡± ¡°But I like doing them¡± ¡°Yeah, but I don¡¯t waste any energy, don¡¯t struggle with the weight, don¡¯t need a list to keep track of. These augmentations are worth something at least¡± ¡°But I like doing them¡± She reaffirms. I accept my defeat. It¡¯s 4:45. She goes to bed at 4:58. I get back to work on the TV. 5:27. No clue whats gone wrong. I leave it be. 5:43. Open my desktop, start searching the Web. I like working with these older devices. I have to. Its old things like these that can connect to the Web while still being just unimportant enough not to track. As endless as the Web is, they are very picky. More tracking means more resource allocation, means more stock, means more tax in Intra. They¡¯d rather let an entire District starve than raise anything in Intra by even a percent. To be fair, a percent in Intra is equivalent to about 12 Kulaks. I find something. A report was sent in to our District management. To the Bullies here. A warning at 4:02; They warned them of the broadcast. 4:40 a census from the Bullies to the Webwork; All transmissions completed successfully. 4:58; Webwork sends in a new schedule. Broadcasts should play 3 times a day until the next month. Each at 4:30, 12:30 and 20:30. I decide to follow the message trail backwards. A message from the Bullies at 2:07; A request to the Webwork for more NatureTech, Rams and¡­ an Operator? I try to check the Bullies database, but it''s been updated with the new yearly encryption change. But I can see there''s been a lot of activity there in the last 12 hours. Something isn¡¯t quite right. Operators aren¡¯t usual requests. They¡¯re sparse around the Kulaks. My voice tells me I''m at 93%. I decide to go offline at 6:52. Being disconnected will do my head some good.