《Magic & Shit》 The Trash Manhwa I Never Asked to Live In *Prologue* *Beniamin¡¯s Perspective* ¡°My name is Beniamin. I¡¯m a normal high school student.¡± Or at least, I was. One moment, I was eating. The next, I¡¯m sprawled on a grimy tavern floor reeking of ale and dwarf body odor. Rough laughter boomed around me as a burly dwarf kicked my ribs. ¡°If that¡¯s so, where the *F* am I?!¡± I wheezed, clutching my stomach. No one answered. Not that I expected them to. The dwarves just jeered, tossing empty mugs my way. I scrambled out of the tavern, my head throbbing. This has to be a dream, I told myself. A hyper-realistic, trash-tier isekai dream inspired by that garbage manhwa I skimmed last week. Magic & Stuff? More like *Magic & Shit*. --- *Two Days Later* Hunger gnawed at my guts like a rabid rat. I hadn¡¯t eaten in days. My clothes¡ªa weird blend of medieval rags and my old hoodie¡ªwere caked in mud and¡­ something worse. The ¡°dream¡± hadn¡¯t ended. Flashback: Me, getting thrown out of another tavern after failing to charm a bartender into free stew. His fist meeting my jaw. ¡°Well. That hurt,¡± I muttered, prodding my still-swollen cheek. A translucent blue window flickered to life in front of me: *[Main Mission: Attend the Academy]* *Time Limit:* 6 months *Penalty:* Death ¡°What academy?!¡± I yelled at the void. No reply. Just the same sadistic text. Another window popped up: *[New Mission: Learn About the Academy]* *Reward:* 1 Silver Coin Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings. *Time Limit:* 6 months *Penalty:* Death I groaned. ¡°Two things I¡¯ve figured out: One, this isn¡¯t a dream. Two, I¡¯m trapped in Magic & Stuff¡ªthat shit unbalanced manhwa that looked like it was written by a 9-year-old.¡± *[??? - Applied Temporary Pain Lvl-1]* ¡°AW, WHAT THE FUCK!¡± I doubled over as a searing pain shot through my body. It felt like someone had lit my nerves on fire. The original MC, Kael, started as a ¡°hero¡± before going full tyrant. Should I stop him before he gets too powerful? I mean, he had like 3 S-Rank skills, 5 A-Rank, 5 B-Rank, and so on. And me? I don¡¯t even have food, let alone a skill. Perfect. At least Kael only has one skill now, even though it¡¯s an S-Rank. I, on the other hand, have¡­ nothing. --- *The ¡°System¡± Isn¡¯t Subtle* I limped toward a market stall, where a surly merchant hawked cabbages. ¡°Hey, sir,¡± I began, forcing a smile. ¡°Can you tell me about the academy here?¡± The man scowled. ¡°Piss off, beggar! The academy¡¯s for nobles and rich brats. You? Ha!¡± He jerked a thumb toward the city center. ¡°It¡¯s in the capital district. Now scram!¡± *[Mission Complete: Learn About the Academy]* *Reward:* 1 Silver Coin A coin materialized in my palm. 1 silver. That¡¯s like what? $10 if I remember correctly? At least inflation isn¡¯t high... Speaking of inflation, how is materializing a coin in my hand not going to decrease the value? Whatever, it¡¯s only one. --- *Finding an Inn* ¡°Why¡¯s everything in Romanian?¡± I muttered, squinting at a sign for Hanul Stelelor¡ªan inn. ¡°Wasn¡¯t this supposed to be Korean? Did the author just Google Translate this shit?¡± --- *Dinner and Despair* The innkeeper charged me a silver coin for a stew, some bread, and a closet-sized room. As I ate, I pieced together my reality: - *Academy Tuition:* 1,000 gold/year. 5 years total. 5,000 gold. - *Currency:* 1 gold = 10 silver = 100 dollars. 1 silver = 10 copper = 10 dollars. - *Translation:* I needed 100,000 silver. Or 1,000,000 copper. Or a miracle. The manhwa¡¯s lore floated back: Monsters existed here, corrupted by ¡°demonic energy.¡± Hunters killed them, MC saves the world, typical trash-manhwa. But even a lowly E-rank monster could shred me. --- *The Plan (Or Lack Thereof)* I flopped onto the room¡¯s straw mattress. Six months. 1,000 gold. How? Hunting? I¡¯m weak af. Stealing? Well, that¡¯s an option. The system¡¯s next mission would probably be *[Don¡¯t Die Tomorrow]*. But then I remembered: Kael, the future tyrant, was enrolling in the academy in 6 months. Well that''s just *G.R.E.A.T* I stared at the ceiling. ¡°First step: Earn money. Lots of it.¡± And the next step.. Zzz --- *End of Chapter 0* --- *Author''s Note:* Beni''s going through a dark time, and even darker times are awaiting him, next episode he is going to hunt some monsters, or the monsters will hunt him... We will see First kill *Beniamin¡¯s Perspective* Clang! A metal bucket slammed against the wall beside my head. I jolted awake, straw sticking to my face. ¡°Hey! Wake up!¡± The innkeeper loomed over me, her voice sharp as a dagger. ¡°You paid for the night, not the day. Out!¡± ¡°What¡­?¡± I rubbed my eyes, still half-drowned in exhaustion. ¡°Are you still asleep?¡± She yanked the threadbare blanket off me. ¡°Out, or I¡¯ll toss you out!¡± ¡°No, no, I¡¯m going¡­ geez.¡± I stumbled to my feet, my stomach growling like a feral cat. Hungry again. Perfect. As I shuffled into the streets, a blue window materialized: *[New Mission: Hunt 3 F-Ranked Beasts]* *Time Limit:* 2 days *Reward:* Passive Skill ¨C Regeneration (F) *Penalty:* Death ¡°Do I even have an option? This shitty system,¡± I muttered. *[Function Unlocked: Status Window]* ¡°Oh, that¡¯s more like it. Thank you, O¡¯mighty god!¡± I rolled my eyes. ¡°Let¡¯s see¡­ Status.¡± A translucent sheet flickered to life: *Name:* Beniamin *STR:* 1 *STA:* 1 *INT:* 0.2 *LUCK:* 3 I blinked. ¡°Ooh, that¡¯s pretty good!¡± Then reality hit. ¡°Wait¡­ an average F-ranked beast has the same stats as me. That¡¯s terrible. I don¡¯t even have a weapon!¡± My mind raced. That¡¯s why we¡¯re going gambling! Hehehe¡­ Then I patted my empty pockets. ¡°Oh, right. I don¡¯t have money. Fuck.¡± --- *Ironclaw Guild ¨C Lower District Branch* The guild hall reeked of sweat and stale beer. Hunters clad in leather and chainmail eyed me as I walked in. ¡°Is that kid lost?¡± someone whispered. ¡°HEY KID!¡± A bearded man bellowed, slamming his tankard on the table. ¡°ARE YOU LOST?¡± ¡°No, sir,¡± I said, straightening my spine. ¡°I¡¯m here to register as a hunter.¡± Already got punched once in the jaw. Let¡¯s not repeat that. If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement. The man raised an eyebrow. ¡°How old are you?¡± ¡°Sixteen, sir.¡± ¡°Hah! Good luck, lad.¡± He smirked, elbowing the woman beside him. ¡°Bet two silver he passes?¡± She snorted. ¡°With that scrawny body? You¡¯re on.¡± I ignored them and approached the front desk. A stern-faced clerk peered down at me. ¡°Hello, madam. How do I register as a hunter?¡± ¡°Written test first. Then physical exam,¡± she said, sliding a parchment toward me. ¡°Payment in advance. One silver.¡± ¡°Uh¡­ can I pay later?¡± Before she could reply, the bearded man tossed a silver coin onto the counter. ¡°I¡¯ll cover the kid!¡± ¡°Thank you, sir!¡± I bowed, relief flooding me. The clerk sighed. ¡°Fine. Take the test.¡± --- *Written Exam ¨C Question 3* Identify the weaknesses of a Crimson-Tusked Boar. I smirked. Crimson-Tusked Boar. F-ranked. Weakness: sensitive snout. Avoid frontal charges. I¡¯d read this exact question in Magic & Stuff. At least I''m not here with nothing. --- *Status Check* While waiting for results, I pulled up my stats again. *STR 1. STA 1. LUCK 3.* Luck 3. Maybe that¡¯s why the veteran bet on me? Or maybe he just pitied me. Either way, I need that regeneration skill. The clerk stamped my parchment. ¡°Passed. Physical exam starts now.¡± I swallowed. Here goes nothing. *Beniamin¡¯s Perspective* The guild clerk led me to a rusted iron gate at the back of the hall. Behind it, I heard snarling. My palms sweat. ¡°Your exam,¡± she said, tossing a key to a burly guard. ¡°Kill a lower-level F-ranked beast. A demonized wolf cub.¡± I blinked. A wolf cub? Even I can handle that¡­ right? ¡°Hey! Can I get a weapon?¡± She gestured to a rack of battered arms. ¡°Choose one. If you pass, you keep it.¡± The options: a chipped dagger, a sword with a cracked hilt, a greatsword too heavy to lift, a bow, and a crossbow rusted shut. Crossbow? Can¡¯t even load it. Sword? I can''t even swing it properly. I grabbed the dagger. ¡°This¡¯ll do.¡± The guard smirked. ¡°Good luck, kid.¡± The gate creaked open. --- *The Wolf Cub* The beast lunged before I registered its movement. Fast! It was the size of a large dog, but its eyes glowed venomous green, fangs dripping black saliva. ¡°Alright¡­ just a dog,¡± I muttered, gripping the dagger. Weakness: I forgot, why would I remember every detail? It charged. I swung¡ªmissed. The dagger sliced air. ¡°Wolf bites him on arm.¡± ¡°AUGH! GET OFF!¡± Pain exploded as its teeth sank into my forearm. I slammed it against the wall, but it clung like a rabid vise. With my free hand, I stabbed blindly. The dagger plunged into its neck. The wolf yelped, collapsing in a heap of matted fur and dark blood. --- *Aftermath* The guild clerk clapped slowly. ¡°You passed. Welcome to the Ironclaw Guild. Everyone starts as F-rank. You can only take missions at your level¡ªwith exceptions.¡± I clutched my bleeding arm. ¡°Great. Can I get some bandages?¡± She sighed. ¡°Urgh, come here. We can¡¯t let a member die on their first day.¡± A healer slapped a poultice on the wound. It burned like acid. ¡°WHAT IS THIS, IT BURNS?!¡± ¡°Quit whining. It¡¯s disinfectant,¡± she said. ¡°Demonic bites rot flesh if untreated.¡± *[Achievement Unlocked: Official Hunter]* *[Reward: Predator Gaze (F)]* *[Description: Briefly reveals an enemy¡¯s weakness. Side effect: Target senses being observed.]* ¡°Ooh, thanks!¡± I grinned. Finally, a skill. Even if it came with a built-in ¡°hey, I''m here¡± warning. --- *The Veteran¡¯s Bet* The bearded man from earlier clapped me on the back. ¡°Told ya he¡¯d pass!¡± His companion grumbled, handing over two silver coins. ¡°Lucky brat.¡± ¡°Luck¡¯s a skill, old man,¡± I shot back, flexing my bandaged arm. The clerk shoved a wooden token into my hand. ¡°Your guild tag. Don¡¯t lose it.¡± I glanced at the token: Beniamin ¨C F-Rank. Quota: 4 missions/month. Monsters & Shit The Ironclaw Guild mission board: *[Available F-Rank Missions]* - Collect 5 low-level monster mana cores (Reward: 3 silver) - Exterminate giant rats in the sewers (Reward: 2 silver) - Hunt 3 F-ranked beasts in Gail Forest (Reward: 5-10 silver) I sighed. ¡°All bottom-tier trash. But at least Gail Forest¡¯s close.¡± My arm still throbbed from the guild exam, but the healer¡¯s poultice kept the demonic rot at bay. For now. --- *City Gates* The guard¡¯s spear barred my path. ¡°ID.¡± ¡°ID? Uh¡­¡± Shit. They never mentioned this in the manhwa. He narrowed his eyes. ¡°Your guild badge, kid. Show it or scram.¡± ¡°Right! Sorry, long day.¡± I flashed the wooden token. He snorted. ¡°F-rank? Don¡¯t die out there.¡± --- *Gail Forest* Twisted trees clawed at the sky, their branches blotting out the sun. My dagger felt laughably small. Two kilometers in. Five hours to hunt three monsters. And a side quest to find a dryad¡¯s blessing Kael stole in the original plot. Priorities. *[Mission: Hunt 3 F-Ranked Beasts (1/3)]* *[Time Remaining: 1 day 4h 52m]* A rustle in the undergrowth. There. You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version. A creature the size of a ten-year-old child lurched into view¡ªa Skitterclaw, its chitinous legs screeching against rocks. Glowing green veins pulsed along its joints: mana cores. Weakness: Joints. Destroy the cores, and it collapses under its own weight. I crouched behind a boulder. Plan: Strike the rear leg¡¯s mana node. One clean hit. --- *The Hunt* I lunged. The dagger bit into its back leg. CWRAA! The Skitterclaw¡¯s shriek rattled my teeth. It spun, mandibles snapping, but I¡¯d already ducked behind a tree. ¡°This is why evolution didn¡¯t make you giant back on Earth!¡± I hissed. It thrashed, its crippled leg buckling. Now. I darted forward, aiming for the other leg¡ª SNAP. A chitinous leg whipped out, slamming me into a tree. Breath fled my lungs. Move. MOVE. The Skitterclaw loomed, dripping acidic saliva. I rolled, thrusting the dagger upward¡ª Squelch. The blade pierced its underbelly. Black ichor sprayed as it collapsed, crushing itself under its own weight. *[Mana Core Acquired]* *[Mission Updated: 2/3]* *[Achievement Unlocked: First Blood]* *[Reward: *Opening Strike (F) ¨C First attack deals 10% of target¡¯s HP as bonus damage.]** ¡°Hell yeah!¡± I wiped gore off my face. Finally being usefull I see! --- *Dryad¡¯s Trial* The forest¡¯s heart was a maze of identical oaks. Dryads disguise themselves as trees. Find the right one, pass their test, get blessed. Easy. Let''s use that skill I got in the exam Predator Gaze ¡°Oak. Oak. Oak. Oak.¡± Nothing. ¡°This is anticlimactic,¡± I groaned. Priorities. Hunt first, fairy trees later. --- *Wolf Pack* The growl froze my blood. A demon-wolf stalked into the clearing, obsidian fur bristling, crimson eyes locked on me. Behind it, a cub gnawed on bones. Plan: Paralyze the adult with Skitterclaw blood on my blade. Kill the cub fast. I smeared green ichor on the dagger. ¡°Hey, I killed your other child yesterday!¡± The wolf lunged. I sidestepped, slashing its flank. It staggered¡ªthe toxin seizing its muscles. Now the cub. I scooped up a rock. ¡°Here, puppy¡ª¡± The cub pounced. Black fangs sank into my forearm. Wait. Black blood? *[Warning: Demonic Corruption Detected]* *[Current Resistance: 12% (Healer¡¯s Poultice Active)]* ¡°You¡¯re demonic too?!¡± I slammed it against a tree, dagger piercing its heart. *[Mission Complete: 3/3]* *[Reward: Regeneration (F) Unlocked]* But the bite on my arm sizzled, veins turning ink-black.