《Lost in Paradise》
(Ch.1): Shattered, Part 1
I want to sleep¡to dream of something new¡
The wind howled around me, tugging at my clothes as the city lights swirled ever closer. It drowned out my screams as those sharp, terrified sounds fell behind me with every story I passed. My stomach pitched violently as the world below surged closer and closer.
The neon skyline twisted, colors streaking across my vision like warped paint smears on shattered glass. It was beautiful in a way. Everything felt so sharp and vibrant. Time seemed to slow, granting me this final chance to see the world around me.
I was scared.
I was at peace.
The distant honking of horns warped into a distorted hum. The glass windows of a skyscraper guiding my descent reflected my plummeting form. Air burned and slashed against my skin, hot and suffocating despite the icy wind tearing through my hair. My limbs flailed, but nothing could slow me.
Then¡ªimpact.
A sickening crunch rippled through me. My body caved under the weight of gravity and its inevitable conclusion. A blaring horn sounded, followed by screams. The scent of burning rubber filled the air as tires screeched.
I felt and heard all that for only a second.
And then, silence.
White consumed everything.
Shades of black ran across the white tint like racing birds in flight, twisting and writhing against the pale glow. Desperate and fleeting, they clawed through the light until the brightness swallowed them whole.
A lurching sensation overcame my body. The feeling of falling returned, but I wasn¡¯t moving. My limbs tingled, my breath snagged, and the space around me seemed to breathe, expanding and contracting like a living being.
Then¡nothing. Everything went away. I felt death consume me. Cold seeped into my bones, hollow and endless.
Suddenly, light slammed back into existence.
My body convulsed, my chest heaving as I sucked in a breath.
My skin pressed against something cold and metallic. The sharp tang of iron filled my nose. Overhead, a cage of silvery, glimmering bars loomed. Its vastness clawed at my senses. It felt ancient and¡wrong.
¡°What¡where am I?¡± My voice wavered, barely above a whisper.
Sweat clung to my brow as I pushed myself upright, my fingers scraping against the smooth metal floor. My legs trembled, weak and unsteady, as I took in the impossible sight before me.
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An endless sky surrounded me, seeming to defy the very concept of distance. Wispy clouds moved about like colonies of fish amongst the blue that stretched far beyond what my eyes could see.
I walked toward the edge of the cage. Looking down, the view was the same. Every direction was like a reflection of the others. There was no ground, no sun, no life¡ªjust an endless, suffocating sky.
A prickling sensation skittered down the back of my skull like icy fingers running through my hair. My body seized with unease, my breath shallow as an unnatural silence swallowed the space around me.
Someone else is here.
Slowly, I turned my head.
A woman stood at the far edge of the cage, motionless, watching the sky-like abyss as if she could see far beyond what I could. Her back was to me, her posture unnervingly still. She didn¡¯t breathe. She didn¡¯t shift. Not from what I could tell. She just¡existed, as though she were a statue carved into the cage.
Her hair was too long, cascading down her back in thick, white strands that pooled at her feet. It clung to her body, not like hair, but like something alive, possessing a mind of its own.
A God? A warden? Something worse?
I didn¡¯t have the answer. I couldn¡¯t even make myself breathe normally or stand without shaking, let alone speak.
The woman turned to face me. As she did, tens of thousands of people appeared. They floated outside the cage and encircled it. Their faces were distorted, yet I could feel them all staring at me. They observed me and judged me. They scrutinized me and the life I lived with great interest. I could feel it in my soul.
The world then distorted painfully. My hands latched onto the sides of my head as a piercing sensation assaulted my mind. Blinding lights like distorted color wheels violated my cognition.
I dropped to my knees.
¡°Pitiful girl,¡± said the woman in the cage with me. ¡°Your mind¡¯s shattering.¡±
I could feel pieces of my past tearing away¡ªmemories of my childhood, my pain, my successes, my failures, and even my name. Where were my memories going? Who was I?
A pair of warm hands wrapped around my neck. I felt energy flowing into me.
My memories ceased to shred apart, but I had already lost my past. I was nobody. I didn¡¯t even have a name. Was I a terrible person? What kind of past had I lived? Why did I feel so¡relieved?
The world trembled.
At first, it was subtle, like a faint thrum in the air. Then, the world trembled again. The second time, it felt more menacing, akin to a heartbeat, as if something colossal were stirring from its slumber.
The bars of the cage around me began to shift and warp into strange patterns, as if they sensed an unseen force.
Something was coming.
I could feel it down my spine. It was a primal level of fear, innate and ingrained.
A voice broke through the sky. ¡°That¡¯s where you were.¡±
The heavens tore apart.
A hand¡ªlarger than a planet, vaster than reason itself¡ªpunched through the endless sky, its sheer size reducing the world I once thought infinite into fractured, insignificant glass. It reached down with deliberate, crushing certainty, its fingers curling around the cage like a child picking up an insect.
The cage burst open suddenly like a blooming flower.
The woman immediately pushed me out.
Horrified, I stared fearfully at the Godlike being as I plummeted through the endless sky. She stood defiant, her gaze remained upward at the hand plummeting down upon us.
For some reason, though, I sensed the woman was¡smiling?
Confusion wracked me. Eventually, my mind gave way to exhaustion, and everything went black.
(Ch.1): Shattered, Part 2
The darkness faded, and my body suddenly felt strange. Pain struck me. I couldn¡¯t find its source, nor could I see, no matter how hard I tried.
Then, the world snapped into focus.
Before me, a giant man and woman appeared. The woman held me tight while the man lingered over her shoulder.
The man looked worried. His orange eyes examined me, deep in thought. The woman, on the other hand, gazed at me with pure, unfiltered love, as if I were the most precious thing in the entire world.
¡°What should we do with them?¡± the man uttered, his gaze fixed on the sides of my head. ¡°They¡¯ll notice the ears. You know what my people are like. They fear devils. Dammit! If she grows horns, she¡¯ll¡ª¡±
¡°Myros, look. Our baby,¡± said the woman. Her voice was ragged, but she was smiling. Thick black hair ran around her face, hiding her forehead and ears while highlighting his odd gray eyes. ¡°Isn¡¯t she perfect?¡±
¡°We need to do something about her ears,¡± said the man, Myros, hurriedly, as he ignored the woman. He fumbled with his belt and pulled out a knife. ¡°I can shape them. She won¡¯t remember. Maybe they¡¯ll heal and look like mine. At least until she¡ª¡±
¡°No!¡± The woman grabbed the man¡¯s hand. ¡°You¡¯d mutilate our daughter?!¡±
¡°We can¡¯t afford to wait! She doesn¡¯t have hair to hide them!¡± Myros hissed, gripping the blade tighter. ¡°If we want her to have the best chance at a normal life, shielded from all the dangers to come, we must do this. It¡¯s only temporary. She won¡¯t even remember. Please, I need to do it quickly while I still have the willpower.¡±
The woman clutched me tighter to her chest, her fingers digging into the blanket wrapped around my body. Blood stained the fabric. Her body trembled, but her resolve did not. ¡°I don¡¯t want to hurt our baby. Her looks should be a point of pride. Don¡¯t touch them. N-Not¡not yet. Let¡¯s¡let¡¯s enjoy this part, please. O-Our child is alive and away from that wretched island. I just want her to be happy. Like I couldn¡¯t. She doesn¡¯t deserve that.¡±
¡°And I want her to live.¡± Myros¡¯s voice cracked. He ran a hand through his sweat-matted hair, his jaw clenched so tightly that it shook. ¡°Damn it, Melania!¡± He slumped slightly, his eyes defeated and raw. ¡°You think I want to do this?¡±
Silence.
Melania¡¯s gaze flicked to the knife. Her lips parted, but no words came out. Her breath snagged as she looked down at me as if studying something fragile and small. ¡°She¡¯s perfect,¡± she whispered, as if saying it aloud would make it real.
Myros exhaled sharply. ¡°Melania¡ª¡±
¡°No.¡± She lifted her chin, her grip tightening protectively around me.
Myros stared at the woman holding me, the weight of their conversation pressing down on him. At last, he let out a shuddering breath and shoved the knife back into his belt. ¡°Fine.¡± He swallowed hard and ran a hand down his face, exhaustion ragging at his features. Then, hesitantly, he reached out and touched my cheek. His fingers were calloused but gentle. ¡°My beautiful girl,¡± he murmured.
The room swayed vapidly, blurring my vision.
Boxes and barrels were scattered throughout the room. The walls, ceiling, and floor were made of wood. There was an unusual curvature to everything as well. Coupled with the peculiar movements, we were clearly on a ship.
Myros and Melania looked around, their faces etched with worry. Myros opened his mouth to speak, but¡ª
The ship swayed violently again, far worse than before. All three of us were thrown into the air. I broke free from the woman¡¯s grasp as she slammed into a wall. The man struck his head against the ceiling. Hard. I flew a distance away from them and became entangled in a mesh of ropes holding back barrels.
¡°Myros!¡± screamed the woman. She crawled over to the man once the ship had somewhat stabilized. It was easier to see her body now that I was no longer in her grasp. She was ragged and bleeding from her lower half, so much so that it stained the floor below her.
Blood gushed out of the top of Myros¡¯s head, exposing the inside of his skull. The reason why was right above him. The roof had splintered, and sections of the wood pointed downward. One corner was chipped and looked like it¡¯d been splashed with red paint.
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¡°No, no, no! Don¡¯t leave me!¡± The woman¡¯s face glistened with tears. She shook the man¡¯s body and hugged him. ¡°Wake up, my love! Wake up!¡± she cried. ¡°I can¡¯t do this without you.¡± Her voice softened. ¡°I don¡¯t want to do this without you¡¡±
My head and body ached. I wanted to throw up.
Tears streamed down the woman¡¯s face as she made eye contact with me. A wave of determination washed over her as the boat rocked violently again. She looked at the man one last time, brushed her fingertips against his lips, and let him go.
The woman¡¯s body shook as she tried to stand, but her legs buckled beneath her, collapsing like broken twigs. A strangled sob left her lips, but she did not stop. She crawled forward, dragging herself across the bloodstained wood, her fingers clawing against the ship¡¯s splintered floorboards. She didn¡¯t look at her wounds. She didn¡¯t look at the body behind her. She only looked at me.
Her hands trembled as she reached out.
¡°I¡¯ve got you,¡± she whispered, wrapping her arms around my tiny body. The warmth of her skin burned against mine, her grip tightening as she tried desperately to shield me from the tragedy happening around us. ¡°I¡¯ve got you.¡±
A sudden, violent lurch twisted the ship, throwing debris into the air. A barrel crashed somewhere behind us. Wood split and groaned, the whole world screaming apart at the seams.
Water burst through the walls. It was freezing, suffocating. It surged up, swallowing the floor, drenching everything in its path.
The woman¡¯s arm squeezed me tighter. She was shaking¡ªbut not from fear. She held my gaze as the ship shattered around us, her lips parting as if she wanted to say something.
But she never got the chance.
The sea took us.
?
I woke with a sharp, gasping inhale¡ªlike I had been drowning and only now breached the surface.
Sunlight stabbed through my eyelids, blinding me. My breath felt painful and ragged, sliding through my throat and past my lips. Something coarse and grainy pressed against my cheek, sticking to my skin.
Sand?
I tried to move. My limbs twitched, but they were sluggish and unresponsive. I willed my fingers to flex, but they barely obeyed, curling in weak, pathetic motions.
A heavy weight pressed against my tiny, fragile body, warm yet unmoving. My breathing came faster, more erratic. Panic coiled in my stomach.
Where am I?
I forced my eyes open.
Bodies were sprawled across the shore like discarded dolls, limbs twisted unnaturally, with faces frozen and empty. No rising chest. No shifting fingers. No signs of left.
Only me.
My heart lurched.
Agitated, I tried to move again, but my body refused. I was weak, unnaturally so, as if I¡¯d lost something important I¡¯d taken for granted. My limbs felt¡wrong. Small. Soft. Unfamiliar.
Something was holding me.
My sluggish, trembling fingers brushed against what was pinning me. I turned my head. The effort was excruciatingly slow, like pushing through a thick fog.
And then I saw her.
The woman from the ship. Her long, dark hair spilled around her face, veiling her features like a mourning shroud. Her eyes¡ªhollow, glassy, lifeless¡ªstared down at me.
She wasn¡¯t breathing, much like everyone else around me.
Fragments of memory from the boat swirled in my head, slipping between my thoughts.
The woman. The man. Their voices. Their desperation. They mentioned a ¡®daughter,¡¯ didn¡¯t they?
I swallowed, my throat tightening as the scene from before replayed in my mind. Realization hit me as I put the pieces together, now alone and stuck in silence.
My limbs twitched, the weight of exhaustion still pressing down on me. Slowly¡ªso painfully slow¡ªI focused my gaze downward.
Tiny.
My hands¡weren¡¯t mine. Whatever that meant, that¡¯s how I felt immediately. They were small, fragile, no longer the fingers of someone who had lived a long life. My fingers barely curled when I willed them to move.
A tremor ran through my chest. My brain, finally catching up and accepting reality, forced me to realize who I was.
This body was new. This life was new.
It wasn¡¯t me anymore.
Baby.
I was a baby.
Not just reborn¡ªreset.
Those people were my parents. They must have been.
The knowledge sat heavy in my head, pressing into my mind like a presence that didn¡¯t belong. Everything before this moment¡ªwhatever life I once had, whatever name I once carried¡ªwas nothing but lost fragments I could no longer touch.
I was empty. A being made of echoes, filled with knowledge without a past to ground it.
I remembered falling out a window, a bird cage, a Goddess of some sort, a giant hand, and then¡I was here. But I didn¡¯t recall anything before that. There should have been something¡ªpeople, places, a face I could call my own. But there was nothing. Only fragments of knowledge with no shape or meaning.
I knew things. I could understand language. I knew the names of things, their significance, science, math, and so much more. But I couldn¡¯t remember why.
I had no name. No history.
Just a body too small in a world too large to fathom.
My head started to hurt, so I stopped thinking.
Instead, I looked up at the corpse of my¡mother. I barely knew her, but I was still struck with a profound emptiness as I gazed into her cloudy eyes.
She never let go.
(Ch.1): Shattered, Part 3
A thrashing noise nearby startled me awake. My mother¡¯s body made it hard to see most of what was around me, but I could look straight ahead rather easily between the gaps in her arms and hair.
I stared at the vast landscape of death and decay until I spotted the source of the disturbance.
A corpse twitched. No. Seized.
At first, I thought I imagined it. The dead don¡¯t move. But then, the bloated skin convulsed, rippling like something alive was struggling and bubbling beneath it.
A bulge pushed outward just beneath the corpse¡¯s stomach. The skin stretched tight, veins bulging as though the body was pregnant with something violent. The thing inside pushed again, harder this time, its shape pressing against the flesh. A hand? A claw? A mouth?
The corpse lurched violently, its ribs snapping inward from the unnatural pressure.
And then, with a wet tearing sound, whatever was inside punched through.
Gray. Blood-slicked. Fingers curled into claws as they tore through flesh like wet paper. The belly ripped open, splitting wider, exposing the hollow cavity within. The body jerked as if resisting, but the thing inside was stronger.
A second hand followed.
Then shoulders.
Then a grotesque, emaciated form pulled itself free, dripping with viscera.
My breath locked in my throat. Every muscle in my tiny, useless body screamed to run, but I couldn¡¯t. It was impossible. My limbs were weak, unresponsive, and slow. Even if they weren¡¯t, I doubt I could have moved. My entire body felt as though it had been weighed down by the burden of my own terror.
The¡thing¡slithered free, dripping in dark, glistening fluid. I could smell it from where I lay. It overwhelmed even the stagnant corpse smell on the beach. It was wrong¡ªsource, metallic, festering. I wanted to gag, but even that would make noise I couldn¡¯t afford.
The creature looked humanoid, but everything else about its form was a mistake. Its skin was pale and gray, and its legs and arms were too long and skinny. The creature was frail-looking, and its skin stuck to its bones.
Every nerve in my body screamed ¡°danger¡± as I calmed my breath and body to a standstill. I didn¡¯t know what the creature was and had no memory of seeing it before, but I knew in my heart that attracting its attention would mean my death.
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The creature crawled over the corpse, its thin, spidery limbs bending at unnatural angles. Its face twisted open, revealing teeth too long, too many, and too jagged to fit naturally in its mouth. But they did. It lowered itself, pressing its face against the dead flesh, and inhaled deeply. A slow, shuddering breath, like a starving animal savoring its meal before the first bite.
And then¡ª
Crunch!
Bone snapped like dry twigs underfoot. Flesh tore in wet, stringy strands as it ripped the head free, twisting, chewing, slurping. A sickening squelch followed as teeth scraped against cartilage, tearing muscle from bone with a wet pop.
It devoured with practiced hunger engrained within this newborn predator.
I watched in horror as the creature feasted. It stripped flesh and meat like a panda eating bamboo.
The final bites sedated the creature. It licked its lips and sat down on the ground. Its swollen belly jiggled against its taunt skin and thin bones.
Try as I might, I could not look away.
After an hour, the creature stood again. Its gaze cast over the beach before landing on the body closest to it. Slinking toward the potential meal like a cautious primate, it hovered over the body of a deceased man in his mid-forties. Like with the last corpse, it started with the head and worked its way down until it had its fill. Sated, it sat down again, though this time entirely on its back.
The creature began to snore. Gore caked its face. It was a few feet away, and there were many bodies between me and it. But given its appetite, unless something distracted it, its hunger would eventually fall to me, a mere snack ending in a bite or two.
All I could do was wait for that to happen.
That thing fed in intervals. Not constantly, not mindlessly¡ªbut in cycles.
It would gorge itself until its stomach swelled, then retreat¡ªa bloated, satisfied thing. It lay motionless in the sand for hours, rising only when hunger stirred it again.
I watched. I listened. Every time it moved, my breath caught in my throat, my muscles tense with anticipation.
At night, it was worse. I could only hear it¡ªguess where it was.
With the morning sun, I finally saw it again to check its progress.
The wait was worse than dying.
My world had shrunk to the sound of chewing.
Bite. Tear. Swallow. Pause. Repeat.
The rhythm was unbearable. Each bite was a countdown, each pause a moment of false hope.
There were two bodies left.
One.
The creature stopped. It sniffed the air, its pupil-less eyes tilting in my direction.
I had nothing left. No power. No choices. My turn was coming soon. I should have cried. Screamed. Ended my misery. But even that was beyond me.
The creature lumbered over me. My mother¡¯s body was in the way, but it did nothing to hide the sounds of the beast overhead.
Using what little strength I had, I scooted closer to my mother¡¯s stomach in anticipation of the creature¡¯s patterns. As soon as I did, a pair of hands gripped my mother¡¯s head. They crushed her skull like fruit as hungered lips lapped up the aftermath.
I couldn¡¯t breathe. I didn¡¯t think. My brain shut down from the terror.
All I could do was watch as the body hiding me slowly got eaten and torn.
(Ch.1): Shattered, Part 4
Rot. Blood. Death. The stench was thick¡ªa rancid fog that sank into my lungs.
I could hear the monster breathing now, as if right by my ear. The sound was deep and ragged as it slipped and smacked wetly over its oversized teeth, which clicked together with hunger and anticipation.
Then it stopped.
My stomach clenched as something cold and wet brushed against my cheek¡ªits fingers. It was reaching toward me.
Thunk!
A new noise pinged my ears. The creature yelped seconds after it sounded.
Thunk! Thunk! Thunk!
The creature roared again, moving away from my mother¡¯s body and sprinting across the beach toward the edge of a forest in the distance. Arrows jutted from its head and chest¡ªmere annoyances rather than lethal wounds. My gaze followed it, connecting with the source of the sound.
Some distance away, a lone archer shot at the monster.
The creature twisted toward its attacker, snarling, its emaciated form moving with unnatural speed as it found the source of its pain. It dropped to all fours, its long limbs bending grotesquely as it launched itself toward the archer, mouth gaping wide to tear into him.
The archer didn¡¯t move.
He exhaled a slowed, measured breath as his fingers tightened around his bowstring, pulling it back in one fluid motion. The air around him shifted, charged with something invisible yet heavy.
The moment he released the arrow, I felt it.
The shot was unnatural.
A tiny streak cut through the air like a line of pure force, concentrated and undeniable.
Splurt!
The arrow punched through the creature¡¯s skull as if it were made of brittle paper, punching out the back in an explosion of bone and gray matter. It didn¡¯t even have time to scream or contemplate its death as it tumbled forward, flipped, and laid motionless on the ground.
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¡°Oh, thank the Gods.¡± The archer keeled forward with relief, wiping his brow. ¡°If it were any stronger or closer, I¡¯d be a dead man. Shit!¡± He stared at the corpse before dotting his eyes along the coastline, his expression slowly turning grim as he did. ¡°Doesn¡¯t seem like there are others around. I don¡¯t know if I could do that more than once that well.¡±
A faint glow started to swell near the dead creature¡¯s heart. Some sort of gem rose to the surface and protruded.
The archer smiled, plucked it from the flesh like a berry, pulled a small cloth sack from his side, and dropped the gem. ¡°It¡¯s a refined one. Only a few deformities. Should sell well. Or maybe Amalia can use it,¡± muttered the archer. His gaze returned to the beach again as he scanned it several more times. ¡°No survivors.¡±
There was one, dammit!
For the first time, a sound tore from my throat¡ªnot a word or a scream, but a raw, instinctive cry.
The archer¡¯s head snapped in my direction.
He stilled.
I could feel his hesitation, the moment of uncertainty before his boots crunched against the sand. His approach was quick but careful.
After a while, my mother¡¯s body¡ªwhat was left of it¡ªshifted.
The moment the weight left me, cold air rushed over my skin, a stark contrast to the warmth that had shielded me until now.
I shivered violently.
Then¡ªhands. Rough, warm, steady. Different.
Suddenly, I felt those hands tense as I stared at the man, his brilliant green eyes gazing into my own. ¡°A devil?¡±
The word fell from his lips like a curse, sharp and bitter. His expression tightened.
I didn¡¯t understand what he was saying. But I saw it¡ªthe way his eyes locked onto my head, his gaze flickering to my ears with something unreadable.
What¡¯s wrong with me? My few moments with my parents flickered in my mind. My ears?
My heart lurched as I watched the man deliberate. Whatever kindness I saw initially was gone. Was he going to kill me? Leave me here? Why? What was wrong with my ears? Why did they make me a devil? What¡¯s a devil? Why did that make me bad?
The silence stretched far too long before the archer exhaled sharply, rubbing his free hand down his face before cradling me against his body as gently as possible. I was so small, I fit in the crook of his arm like I¡¯d never belonged anywhere else.
¡°It¡¯s just a forest devil,¡± he muttered, his tone more tired than anything else. ¡°It doesn¡¯t have horns. What am I even thinking?¡±
The archer cursed under his breath. Reaching into his pocket, He pulled out a strip of cloth. Without a word, he wrapped it carefully around my head, hiding what made me different.
I didn¡¯t understand. Not yet. But the way he hesitated told me enough. Whatever I was, it wasn¡¯t something he wanted others to see.
¡°I¡¯ll bring you somewhere safe, little one,¡± said the archer as we slowly walked into the forest.
(Ch.2): Devil, Part 1
The archer carried me through the forest for what felt like an eternity, though I knew it had been less than an hour. My body remained weak, but my mind was sharp and hyper-focused on the world around me.
The trees thinned, revealing a settlement nestled in a clearing a short way from the ocean¡¯s coastline. The village wasn¡¯t large, and it wasn¡¯t in any rush to be. A handful of wooden houses leaned into one another like old friends, their roofs sagging under the weight of time. A mill creaked lazily in the distance, its wheel turning with the slow persistence of something that had seen generations pass without change. Farmland and livestock sat in the far distance just outside of town.
A few villagers milled about, moving with the leisurely pace of people who had nowhere to be. A man sat outside a small shop, rocking back and forth in a wooden chair while his fingers idly carved a piece of driftwood. Two old women sat beneath a sagging awning, chatting in hushed tones. The occasional gust of wind carried the laughter of children and the chatter of locals past my ears.
A pair of chickens strutted lazily through the dirt path ahead, pecking idly at the ground as a gray-haired man shuffled past them, carrying a bundle of firewood in his arms. A weathered sign sat above a local inn and tavern, its faded lettering declaring it ¡°Beginner¡¯s Rest¡± barely legible.
The air smelled of earth, salt, and old timber, carried on a faint ocean breeze that rustled the rooftops. Somewhere nearby, a dog barked once before settling into silence, as if even it had little energy for anything other than laziness.
It looked like some sort of backwater town. The place was full of life, yet it felt unhurried, as if forgotten by time.
Most people dressed plainly in pants and shirts or dresses. Occasionally, someone donned armor beneath large coats. I couldn¡¯t exactly pinpoint why, but it looked wrong to me. I felt like I was in the past. I didn¡¯t understand why. I wasn¡¯t even sure what my present used to be.
The other thing that stood out to me was the tattoos.
Black rings, thick as bindings, inked deep into every person¡¯s skin I saw. Some bore additional bands along their fingers, neat rows of dark lines that seemed too uniform to be random.
I knew they meant something. I felt it in the way my mind got caught on the sight of them, snagging like a hook. But no meaning surfaced. It was strange. Not the tattoos themselves, but how completely natural they seemed to everyone but me. I couldn¡¯t even explain why they were so weird. My mind just kept perceiving them that way.
My eyes darted down to look at my hands and fingers. There was nothing on them¡ªno marks or bands.
Why does everyone else have them and I don''t? I wondered. Because I¡¯m a devil? Or just a child? What are they? What do they mean? I scanned the faces of the people around me. Lots of brown eyes, too. The archer is the only one I¡¯ve seen with differently colored ones. Why is that?
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¡°How will Amalia react,¡± the archer wondered while holding me, sighing. ¡°It¡¯s a baby. She won¡¯t resist very long.¡±
As he passed, villagers nodded in greeting, some pausing mid-task just to acknowledge him. A fisherman wiping his hands on his apron muttered a low, ¡°Good to see you, Quintin,¡± while an older woman pressed a loaf of bread into his free hand without a word, her weathered fingers tight with unspoken gratitude. Even those who didn¡¯t speak stole glances his way, their expressions a mix of respect and quiet expectation.
I stared at the archer, Quintin, with newfound curiosity.
A woman sweeping the steps of a small shop paused and leaned on her broom as we passed. ¡°Did you find anyone?¡±
Quintin shook his head. ¡°Not alive.¡±
The woman exhaled through her nose, her eyes flickering to me briefly before lowering them again. ¡°Damn shame,¡± she murmured before returning to her sweeping, much slower than before.
¡°Hey, Quintin!¡± A man in the village called out to Quintin. He wore light clothing with a breastplate over his shirt and a short sword at his hip. His brown eyes looked me and Quintin over. Like everyone else, he had two black tattoos on his wrists and ring-like tattoos on his fingers¡ªeach one except his thumbs. ¡°Did you find anything?¡±
D¨¦j¨¤ vu.
Quintin nodded. ¡°There was more wreckage down the way. Found bodies and a demon.¡±
¡°A demon?! You sure?!¡± The man recoiled in surprise. ¡°What kind?¡±
¡°Just birthed, and it wasn¡¯t a strong one,¡± said Quintin. ¡°I dealt with it.¡±
¡°Of course you did.¡± Albus let out a breath, shaking his head. ¡°If you couldn¡¯t kill it, none of the rest of us would have any hope.¡±
¡°You give me too much credit, Albus. If it had been any older or a high Tier, I¡¯d have died. I¡¯m not as good as I used to be in my military days.¡±
¡°Still better than me,¡± Albus said with a half-smirk. Then, catching sight of me bundled in Quintin¡¯s arms, his expression shifted. ¡°What¡¯s that?¡±
¡°Something precious I found on the beach.¡±
¡°Oh? And what would that be?¡± Albus looked at me and gasped. ¡°A baby?¡± He leaned in slightly, his brown eyes scanning me with an expression between curiosity and unease. His gaze flickered to the bundle of cloth covering my ears, lingering just a beat too long. ¡°Poor girl,¡± he muttered.
Quintin shifted his grip, subtly pulling me closer against his chest. ¡°She was pinned under a body,¡± he said, his voice even. ¡°Only reason she¡¯s still alive. If I¡¯d been a second later, she¡¯d be dead.¡±
Albus straightened, exhaling sharply. His discomfort passed like a shadow. ¡°Well, that¡¯s a blessing then.¡±
My thoughts temporarily confused me. Talking about ¡°devils¡± and ¡°demons¡± made the concepts of ¡°Angels¡± and ¡°God¡± appear in my head like they¡¯d always been there, but I clearly knew nothing about them a moment prior.
¡°I¡¯ll take her home to Amalia. We¡¯ll look after her,¡± said Quintin.
Albus smiled at Quintin. ¡°You two have been trying for a while now, haven¡¯t yah?¡±
Quintin nodded.
¡°These things happen for a reason. Be glad. You¡¯ll both do a great job.¡±
Quintin looked at my face. I noticed his eyes drift to my covered ears. ¡°Yes, they do.¡±
Quintin and Albus said their goodbyes before separating.
We continued walking until we reached the outskirts of the village, closer to the farms and mill, where we stopped in front of a charming two-story building that was slightly larger than any of the places I had seen in town.
There were archery targets out front, their surfaces pockmarked from years of use. A shed sat beside the house, the door slightly ajar, revealing the faint gleam of metal tools inside. The air smelled different here than in town. There was less salt and a thicker scent of wood, smoke, and dirt.
This must be where he lives.
(Ch.2): Devil, Part 2
Sure enough, Quintin passed through the gate surrounding the property and entered the home. ¡°I¡¯m back, my love,¡± he called into the house.
A woman in her late twenties, around Quintin¡¯s age, came into view. She had long, dark hair and brown eyes. She, too, had tattoos on her wrist, but the markings on her fingers only covered her middle and ring fingers near the knuckle, resembling jewelry embedded in her skin.
¡°I heard about the shipwreck. What happened?¡± asked who I assumed was Amalia. I could tell she was a kind soul from her voice and demeanor.
¡°From what I and the others could piece together, a cargo ship coming into Port Prosper from the Broken Bits went down along the shore. Storm must have swallowed them,¡± answered Quintin. ¡°I found this poor girl alive on the beach.¡±
Quintin lifted me slightly to show his wife. Amalia¡¯s eyes widened as she moved to take me, but Quintin held back.
¡°Her mother was shielding her from a demon. She¡¯s got no one. From the looks of it, she was born only a few days ago at most,¡± said Quintin. ¡°There¡¯s no one to take care of her. No family. Nothing.¡±
¡°I understand?¡± Amalia¡¯s reply relayed her confusion. Sympathy filled her as she peered at me. She observed me closely. ¡°Why is her head bandaged? Is she hurt?¡± Panic rose in her voice. ¡°Do I need to¡ª¡±
¡°The baby is alright. I bandaged her head to hide her.¡±
¡°Hide her?¡±
¡°Be mindful,¡± said Quintin. Slowly, he unwrapped my head until my entire face was revealed to Amalia.
Amalia took a small step back. It was slight, almost imperceptible, but I saw it. The moment her eyes landed on my ears, her expression flickered with uncertainty and fear.
She caught herself quickly, smoothing over her hesitation with a carefully measured breath. ¡°She¡¯s a forest devil,¡± Amalia murmured. Her lips pressed together. For a long moment, she said nothing. Then, slowly, her hands reached out, hovering just a hair¡¯s breadth from my tiny frame.
¡°She¡¯s just a baby,¡± replied Quintin.
Amali¡¯s lips parted like she wanted to argue, but Quintin kept going.
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¡°We humans are closer to devils than not,¡± he continued. ¡°We all talk, think, eat, fight, and love. Devils live in this country; many are adventurers, and we trade with their homelands. Her kind come to this town all the time. Our people are used to devils.¡±
¡°If you felt that way, you wouldn¡¯t have bothered covering her ears,¡± argued Amalia. ¡°She will always be seen as less than. Always. Even if she manages to make friends. People don¡¯t change that easily.¡±
¡°Amalia¡ª¡±
¡°Shouldn¡¯t we try to find a relative or put a contract out for someone else to take her or¡ª¡±
¡°The girl is alone. A baby. With no one. She has no home,¡± said Quintin. ¡°I don¡¯t doubt she¡¯ll face problems, but as long as we support her, she¡¯ll grow up loved.¡±
Amalia said nothing, but I could see Quintin¡¯s words worked their way into her heart.
If this family decided I wasn¡¯t worth the risk, I would die. The realization settled in my gut, heavy and undeniable.
My brain sped up, looking for solutions.
I shouldn¡¯t know how to do this.
But I did. I could see Amalia teetering between doubt and sympathy. She wanted to reach out but needed just the right push. Her fingers, hovering inches away from me, were waiting for an excuse to close the distance.
I could give her that excuse.
And that was the part that unsettled me. Not that I had to do it. Not that it was necessary.
But that it was easy.
I let out a tiny, innocent squeak, my arms reaching for Amalia with a soft gurgle of nonsense sounds. A wide and eager smile overtook my face. Playful. Vulnerable. Exactly what she needed me to be.
Amalia¡¯s breath steadied in her throat. Her already softened stance collapsed completely, hesitation crumbling under the weight of maternal instinct. She let out a soft whimper. Her hands subtly reached out to me again, stopping only a hair¡¯s breadth from my little body.
Got you.
Sensing the gap my actions created, Quintin nudged me forward into Amalia¡¯s arms. She was hesitant for a brief moment. In that gap, I nuzzled my head into her chest. Amalia shuddered, signaling my victory.
¡°Does she have a name?¡± asked Amalia.
¡°I don¡¯t think so,¡± answered Quintin.
¡°Can I give her one?¡± Amalia asked, her voice quieter now, as if naming me made this real. Made me hers.
Quintin exhaled. ¡°Of course.¡±
Amalia studied me for a long moment. Then, with a soft, almost reverent whisper, said, ¡°Yennifer.¡±
The name settled over me like a weight, unfamiliar yet¡grounding. A tether to something I hadn¡¯t asked for.
¡°After my sister,¡± she added, as if that explained everything.
I had achieved what I wanted. Safety. But something inside me twisted.
That was too easy.
My hands¡ªsmall, fragile, innocent¡ªhad crafted an outcome without effort. I¡¯d played Amalia like a piece in a. Game I wasn¡¯t even conscious of playing.
My stomach curled. What kind of person was I before?
(Ch.3): Growing Up, Part 1
The room was quiet except for the rhythmic rise and fall of Quintin and Amalia¡¯s breathing.
I laid in a pile of blankets in a makeshift crib, my body exhausted but my mind wide awake. Every time I closed my eyes, the same questions clawed at me.
Who am I? Why am I here? What am I supposed to do?
They rattled inside my skull, refusing to settle.
Nothing was trying to kill me anymore, and shelter was guaranteed. I was safe, but I wasn¡¯t at peace. The future loomed ahead like a great, black void, and I had no map to navigate it.
Try as I did, I couldn¡¯t remember a single thing about my life before this one. There were fragments of a cage. Some Goddess. A giant hand trying to crush me. But nothing else. Nothing else at all.
Annoying. I thought. It¡¯s not like I can do anything even if I had the answers. It was a miracle I managed to do anything on that beach. This body is so weak and useless. It¡¯ll be a few years before I can achieve anything. I paused for a moment. Learning is my top priority. I basically know nothing. Like it or not, I¡¯m in this world. It may even be the world I lived in before, though I doubt it based on how my mind reacted to certain things. My little lips frowned. Take it one day at a time. You¡¯re alive. You have a name. Take a break. Rest. You deserve it.
Finally, I went to sleep.
Time blurred.
Days, then weeks, then months passed. I was constantly fading in and out of existence, trapped in a cycle of sleep, wake, exhaustion.
I had flashes of moments¡ª
The warmth of Amalia¡¯s heartbeat as she held me close, singing something soft and unfamiliar.
Quintin¡¯s rough hands adjusting a bowstring, the creak of wood and snap of a released arrow just outside our home.
The sound of rain against the rooftop, soft patters lulling me to sleep.
Tiny glimpses of life, stitched together in fleeting awareness.
But then, one day, something shifted.
I stayed awake long enough to realize it.
I don¡¯t feel like I¡¯m going to pass out yet. My time awake is getting longer every day. I thought halfway through a day six months later. Is my body finally adapting to me?
¡°You want the blanky?¡± Amalia sat beside me on the floor of our house, the fireplace crackling with soft, comforting embers. The rug beneath us tickled my body. ¡°Come get it!¡±
I promptly reached out to snatch the cloth from Amalia, but she yanked it away at the last second.
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¡°You want the blanky?¡±
Yes, obviously, I want it. I argued in my head. Give it to me. I¡¯m bored. At least it¡¯s something to do!
Being a baby sucked.
My mind was sharp, clear, and ready to take on the world. But my body? A useless, sluggish cage. Every movement was slow, uncoordinated, and humiliating. I could think of a hundred things I wanted to do, but not a single muscle obeyed me.
When I first tried rolling over, it felt like being trapped under a weight. I barely managed to shift an inch before exhaustion stole me away.
Sitting up and playing with another person seemed like a miracle after all that effort.
The worst part, though, was the boredom. There were only so many times I could stare at the ceiling before my thoughts blurred into nothingness. Even sleep, which should have been an escape, wasn¡¯t. I drifted in and out of existence without control, my body dictating my fate like some cruel warden.
Free will was a dream. A luxury. And I had neither.
But things were getting better. If I¡¯d learned anything in my time so far, it was that patience was the most powerful tool in one¡¯s arsenal.
¡°Do you want the¡ª¡±
I seized the blanket as quickly as possible before Amalia could finish the sentence.
Amalia recoiled, stunned. ¡°Oh, wow! Good job!¡± She turned to Quintin, who was watching from the couch nearby. ¡°She¡¯s smart.¡±
¡°Maybe she¡¯ll start speaking soon,¡± he replied with a chuckle.
I wish. I thought. The words didn¡¯t come out quite right when I tried the last few times. Will they now?
¡°Faaaa!¡± I said. I was trying to say ¡°food,¡± but the word got jumbled. Annoyed, I pouted. ¡°FAAAAA!¡± I screamed louder.
¡°Do you want food?¡± Amalia asked.
I nodded on instinct as my stomach growled.
A moment of silence flushed within the house. Then¡ª
¡°Wait,¡± they both said in unison. ¡°Did she just understand us?
My stomach turned to ice. Oh. Shit. My mind raced through a hundred possible explanations. How much do babies usually understand at this age? I messed up, didn¡¯t I?
Quintin and Amalia exchanged glances.
For a brief, terrifying second, I thought I¡¯d ruined everything.
?
As it turned out, no. If I were a human baby, yes, but the fact that I was a devil made them jump to some unnecessary conclusions.
Since neither of them had raised a devil before, didn¡¯t know someone who had, nor had someone they could ask about me, they concluded devils must mature faster naturally.
I started pressing the limits of what I could do from that point forward. With my consciousness fully in my control, I started acting to regained my autonomy. I tried speaking whenever I was in their presence. It took a few months, but eventually, my mouth could form garbled versions of words. Walking was easier than talking; I mastered that before I was even one.
Amalia and Quintin pampered me throughout the process; however, Amalia was the worst of the two. Just because my body prevented me from talking or acting as I wanted, that didn¡¯t mean I wasn¡¯t absorbing every conversation I heard around me.
The two of them tried having a baby for years. I knew that without being told. It was in the way Amalia lingered just a little too long when she held me, the way her fingers curled protectively around mine as if afraid I¡¯d vanish.
They even tried again while I was in their room in my crib¡ªhope, desperation, and resignation all wrapped into one.
But no child came.
At some point, Amalia stopped trying.
And me? I became enough.
That¡¯s why, when I got older and kept asking to go outside, Amalia was very hesitant. She likely wanted to keep me inside, safe, forever. Even so, she knew I couldn¡¯t do that. Sooner or later, I¡¯d need to leave the house.
Thankfully, by the time I wanted to see the outdoors, my hair was already coming in. Like the woman who birthed me, it was long, thick, and dark like the feathers of a crow. It easily hid my ears, especially when Amalia helped me style it.
At some point, I started to enjoy my life and routine. I had a family, a safe place to stay, and some freedom.
Then I turned three.
(Ch.3): Growing Up, Part 2
¡°Devils are lesser than man,¡± I read from one of the only books in our house. It was a large, leatherbound book describing the tenets of this world¡¯s religion, the Pantheon. ¡°Absolute bullshit.¡± I tossed it aside. ¡°Agias is the source of this garbage, huh? A whole country run by religious zealots. So stupid. That¡¯s why Zalevet is better,¡± I realized, puffing up my country. ¡°Money rules the world. That makes more sense to me.¡±
When I could, I spent my time learning. Since there weren¡¯t any worthwhile books at home, I had to ask lots of questions or snoop on people when out in public.
I currently lived on the Human Continent, which was comprised of four countries: Zalevet in the south, Brosnock in the center, Agias in the north, and Viorna, the jagged peninsula to the east.
Probably not surprisingly, given how I arrived in these lands, I was in Zalevet on the southwestern coast in a little town called Sandy Branch.
Zalevet was a single kingdom built around a market-driven monarchy with an advisory council of ranked nobles. It had massive ports, a good geographical location, and the strongest connections with other continents. Brosnock, Agias, and Viorna routed all their products and trade through Zalevet to the rest of the world and vice versa.
It was a land ruled by humans¡which I was not.
¡°Did you throw that book again?¡± shouted Amalia from downstairs. I was in my space, a lofted area above the living room. It had a bed, furniture, and places to store clothes¡ªbasically, it was my room.
¡°It annoys me,¡± I complained, my squeaky, three-year-old voice spread downstairs.
¡°Then stop reading it!¡±
¡°Why do you even have it?¡±
¡°You never pass up a free book,¡± replied Amalia sternly. ¡°They have machines to make them in the cities, but the nearest one is Port Prosper. That¡¯s days away. The market for them out here isn¡¯t as high, so they¡¯re expensive.¡±
Yeah. No school, no books, no education. I thought. If people didn¡¯t have codexes, I bet everyone would be illiterate.
Annoyed, I sat up, picked up the shitty book, placed it nicely on my desk because I felt guilty, and went downstairs. ¡°Can we go to the market?¡± I asked. ¡°I¡¯m bored.¡±
Amalia stared at me. Her eyes went directly to my ears. ¡°Fix your hair first.¡±
¡°Oh?¡± I quickly bolted back upstairs until I was in front of a mirror. My ears were sticking out from my hair¡ªpointed and long. They were only getting longer and harder to hide with age. I quickly messed with my hair, brushed it, then tied it into a low ponytail. Then, I headed back downstairs. ¡°All done!¡±
¡°Let me look.¡± Amalia examined me all over. She even tugged at my hair. ¡°Okay. We can go.¡±
I was basically bouncing in place as Amalia opened the door for us to leave. I zoomed outside, childish energy surging through me as the fresh, warm air surrounded me. A breeze cast over me, fluffing my clothes and hair. I couldn¡¯t hide my smile. Being outside was the best.
Every year, right at the end of the harvest season, all the local farmers and merchants that came in to buy crops put up a small market in town. There were stalls with all different kinds of goods and food I couldn¡¯t find any other time of year.
It was also when the local inn, Beginner¡¯s Rest, experienced its largest influx of adventurers staying in town, eager to tackle the Forest of Beginners a few hours away. Adventuring and farming were Sandy Branch¡¯s primary sources of income, making it busier than ever during this season.
Dozens of people filled the central part of town, where the inn and shops were located. The once vacant, dusty streets, barely populated with slow-moving locals, were now brimming with locals, visitors, merchants, and adventurers.
Amalia held my hand as we carefully moved through the stalls. Quintin wasn¡¯t in town at the moment. He had been picked up by a group of adventurers to serve as a guide through the Forest of Beginners. That was how he kept us clothed and fed. Quintin was a former knight in his past life before settling down with Amalia. Apparently, it was love at first sight.
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I kind of wish he was here, too. I thought as we looked through the stalls. A halved and curled piece of corn on a stick, loaded with spices, sat in my free hand with large chunks already taken out of it.
A group of adventurers crowded outside Beginner¡¯s Rest. The owner, Tannin, and her husband Bruno had set up outdoor seating and served drinks to those who wanted them.
The reason they caught my attention was because, out of the six of them, two were devils.
One was a tall man with long blonde hair. Like me, he had pointed ears. He was a devil¡ªspecifically a forest devil¡ªyet he smiled and chatted with the rest of his party.
Why do I have to hide my ears? I found myself wondering. Are they really that bad?
The other devil was a female with gray rabbit ears sprouting from her head and a small ball-like tail from her backside. She wore very¡light clothing and appeared to be the drunkest among the group.
That¡¯s a beast devil. I recalled. She looks happy.
I played with my ears beneath my hair.
Amalia spotted this and immediately stopped me. ¡°Don¡¯t do that.¡±
¡°But they don¡¯t have to hide anything,¡± I said, gesturing at the two adventurers.
¡°They¡¯re strong, and they don¡¯t live here. They¡¯re also adults. People are afraid of them. You are a small child who can¡¯t use mana,¡± argued Amalia forcefully, tightening her grip. ¡°Keep your ears hidden.¡±
Honestly, I didn¡¯t believe her. The only devils I¡¯d seen treated poorly were the ones with the Mark of Enslavement on their bellies. But they were slaves. If there were just devil slaves, that¡¯d be one thing, but there were human slaves, too.
Maybe I just don¡¯t know enough yet. I decided, opting to listen to Amalia. The last thing I want is to ruin my peace.
¡°Okay,¡± I said. ¡°Sorry.¡±
Satisfied, Amalia softened her grip on my hands. ¡°You want to buy some colorful ribbons for your hair?¡±
My eyes sparkled. ¡°Yeah!¡±
We continued walking through the market until we reached the section where jewelry and clothing were sold. I stood a little way behind Amalia as she bought me a pretty, bright red ribbon to tie my hair.
Then, something hit me.
I fell to the ground hard, my face mushing into the dirt and my back grinding against little rocks. ¡°Oww,¡± I moaned, rubbing my head before sitting up. ¡°Why?!¡± I complained to whoever, or whatever, hit me.
¡°Oh, sorry, kid, I¡ª¡± It was a merchant. He reached down to help me up, but something caught his eye. His sorry gaze turned to one of disgust. He spit on me. ¡°Watch where you¡¯re going, freak.¡±
I stared after him, stunned, as he stepped over me like a piece of trash and carried on his way down the road.
The voices of bystanders passed through my ears.
¡°Isn¡¯t that Quintin and Amalia¡¯s kid?¡±
¡°What happened to her ears?¡±
¡°It¡¯s a devil?¡±
¡°Gross. How could they have one of those¡things in their home?¡±
¡°Is it their pet?¡±
¡°It must be a slave.¡±
¡°My kids wanted to play with that thing. Better tell my wife so she keeps ¡®em away.¡±
I knew what had happened as my hands launched to the side of my head. I could already feel cool air against the tips of my ears. My fingers touching them without the presence of hair confirmed it all.
Everyone could see my ears.
The locals were starting to chatter amongst themselves. Word spread like a wildfire in only a few seconds.
Amalia reached down to grab me and pull me up. ¡°Let¡¯s go home.¡±
¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I squeaked.
Amalia didn¡¯t say anything. She pulled me along through the streets. I could feel everyone¡¯s eyes on me.
Then, out of nowhere, something struck me on the side of my head. Food. Some type of pie.
I stared forward, stunned.
Amalia immediately stopped and turned to me, kneeling. She wiped what she could away before turning to the crowd. ¡°Who threw that?!¡±
I gazed into the crowd, too. Unlike before, I couldn¡¯t spot a single kind eye in the crowd. Some were filled with disgust, but most were indifferent, like I didn¡¯t even exist. Like I was beneath them.
When my gaze landed on the two devils by Beginner¡¯s Rest, our eyes met. They stared at me with immense pity before averting their gazes, ashamed.
Amalia picked me up in her arms and walked me back to our home.
?
Quintin came home later that night. By the time he got to the house, the news about what had happened had already reached him. ¡°Are you okay?¡± He asked me as soon as he saw me at home. ¡°Are you hurt?¡±
¡°No,¡± I muttered. ¡°Someone knocked me down, and another person threw a pie at me. Tasted terrible, though.¡±
Amalia was sitting on the couch with a bottle of wine, half-drunk beside her. She spent hours crying and apologizing to me after we got home. Then she passed out. When she came to, she cooked dinner, ate with me, hugged me, and then started drinking.
Quintin rubbed my head. He glanced at Amalia. ¡°We were never going to be able to hide it forever.¡±
¡°I just want her to live a normal life,¡± said Amalia in a weak, broken voice laced with sorrow.
¡°And she will.¡±
Everything changed.
I finally knew what it meant to be a devil.
The ones at the inn weren¡¯t treated like I was. It wasn¡¯t because people respected them but because they feared them.
I needed that fear, too, if I wanted a normal life. I had Quintin and Amalia, but what would happen if they weren¡¯t around? Could I survive on my own? Will I do good in the future? I wasn¡¯t sure.
Suddenly, a goal for my future finally entered my head.
(Ch.3): Growing Up, Part 3
3
Days after that incident, I asked Quintin a question I already knew the answer to: ¡°What¡¯s with all the marks on people¡¯s wrists and fingers?¡±
We were outside. Quintin was chopping firewood, and I watched him while enjoying the cool air.
Quintin glanced at his wrists. Thick black marks were etched into his skin. They wrapped around the entire wrist in a perfect, even circle. ¡°These? I guess it makes sense you¡¯d be curious.¡± He placed his axe against his woodpile and kneeled before me so I could examine his arms. ¡°They¡¯re Mana Rings.¡±
¡°Mana Rings?¡± I repeated slowly, questioning the words.
He nodded, tracing the ones on his wrists. ¡°When a child comes of age, these bands appear around their wrists. It¡¯s called an awakening. Once you have these, you can use mana.¡±
I pointed at his fingers. There was a band on each one near his knuckles. ¡°What about these? And why do you have four? Mom only has two.¡±
¡°These?¡± Quintin pointed at each of the circular, permanent bands on each of his fingers on both hands. ¡°They let me change mana into a different element.¡±
¡°Like the fire you use for the fireplace?¡±
¡°That¡¯s right.¡± He gestured at his ring finger. ¡°This one represents fire. Because I have it, I can do this.¡± He held out one of his palms, and a small orb of flames danced in his hand. ¡°See?¡±
I had seen him and Amalia perform magic plenty of times before. They acted as if it was normal, and I wasn¡¯t entirely sure it wasn¡¯t for me. The only time I ever asked about it was how I could do it, and both of them said I couldn¡¯t until I was older.
That¡¯s about all I¡¯d invested in the topic until now. They never lied to me, and I was more curious about the world than the ability to make fire. It was like asking why I could breathe: I could, so it didn¡¯t matter. But now that people knew I was a devil, and I understood the implications of that, knowing more about mana seemed like a good idea.
¡°What about the other fingers?¡± I asked.
Quintin gestured to his pointer finger. ¡°This one lets me control the ground.¡± Then to his middle. ¡°This one¡¯s for water.¡± He skipped the ring finger and went to his pinkie. ¡°Wind.¡±
I pointed at his thumb. ¡°Why isn¡¯t there one there? And why does mom only have the water and fire ones?¡±
¡°The thumb is for special people,¡± explained Quintin. ¡°And mommy only¡ª¡±
¡°Stop telling her these things,¡± interrupted Amalia as she came out of the house.
¡°Oh. Sorry. I only thought¡ª¡±
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¡°She¡¯s too young. Let her enjoy her childhood.¡±
¡°Sorry, my love.¡± Quintin sighed and patted my head. ¡°I¡¯ll tell you when you¡¯re older.¡±
¡°But¡ª¡±
¡°Yen, come inside and help me with dinner,¡± ordered Amalia. She¡¯d become overprotective ever since the incident at the market.
¡°Coming¡¡±
?
Time marched on.
Two more years passed by.
My trips outside lessened since the incident in the market. The little freedoms I had were snatched away. I spent more and more time indoors. When I wanted to go outside, I had to be supervised.
It wasn¡¯t an entirely unwarranted thing. Adults were colder to me. Some even called me a ¡°monster¡± when we passed them in the streets. Oddly enough, whenever kids saw me outside, they still waved and said they wanted to play. I wasn¡¯t sure why that was.
For two years, I tried my best to get whatever knowledge I could about mana and fighting from Quintin. At each attempt, Amalia cut him off before he could say anything, or he told me to ¡°wait until I was older.¡±
It frustrated me to no end.
But I was a stoic practitioner of immense patience. Being a baby ingrained that within me. Sooner or later, they¡¯d crack. They¡¯d have to.
I needed to get stronger someday if I wanted the freedom those devils at the inn had. Magic seemed like the best way to achieve my goal.
I didn¡¯t have a choice.
My ears weren¡¯t the only things wrong with me anymore.
I laid on my bed upstairs, rubbing my head. Little bumps were forming just behind my hairline. At first, I thought they were bug bites or something, but they didn¡¯t hurt or itch. I tried putting creams on them and having my parents check them, but nothing came of it.
They just kept getting bigger and bigger, a fact I kept to myself after a while. It was probably something devil-related that was better kept to myself.
Frustrated, I violently roughed up my hair before rolling over in bed.
But I was close to the edge.
I slammed into the ground.
¡°Godsdammit,¡± I whined as I rubbed my nose. It had smashed right into the wood at full force. ¡°Am I bleeding?¡± I dabbed the area under my nostril. ¡°No. Thank the Gods.¡±
¡°You okay up there?¡± Quintin called to me.
¡°Y-Yeah!¡±
¡°I take it you¡¯re ready to go then?¡±
Without responding, I thumped downstairs with a smile on my face. ¡°Absolutely!¡± I was already dressed. We were headed into the town for groceries, and I¡¯d wormed my way into the expedition through intense whining and begging. ¡°All ready!¡±
¡°Fix your hair,¡± said Amalia immediately. She tossed me a hat. ¡°And put this on.¡±
¡°No,¡± I replied immediately.
¡°That was not a suggestion.¡±
¡°Hats hurt my ears,¡± I pouted. ¡°And everyone already knows what I am.¡±
¡°Even so, it¡¯s better to hide them. There¡¯s no reason to remind people.¡±
My face firmed. ¡°It¡¯s not like I chose to be like this.¡±
Quintin and Amalia flinched.
It¡¯d been two years since the incident in the market. Most people were used to me and ignored me. Some people still insulted me in public, but they were easy to ignore. Words didn¡¯t hurt or affect me. It¡¯s not like I could change their minds. Their lives didn¡¯t matter to me, and no one has tried to hurt me since the pie.
What did I care?
It didn¡¯t stop me from pursuing power, though. I wasn¡¯t stupid. Violence was the key to peace if the adventurers I saw were any indicator. Or at least the key to maintaining a healthy distance between those who wished to harm me.
Regardless, I knew Amalia and Quintin thought I was holding in all my feelings and acting tough. Little comments like these softened them into giving me whatever I wanted.
¡°Fine. But you still have to fix your hair,¡± said Amalia. ¡°Let me help you.¡± She tossed and touched my locks until only my face showed through my hair. She turned to Quintin, who was already holding open the front door. ¡°We¡¯re ready.¡±
(Ch.3): Growing Up, Part 4
¡°Good morning, Quintin! Amalia! Little Yen!¡± said Albus as we walked outside.
¡°Good morning!¡± I spoke first with a chipper, childish tone. It kept up appearances and made me look less like a freak. My arms thrust toward Albus. ¡°Gifts?¡±
Albus chuckled. ¡°Not today, little lady.¡±
¡°Awww,¡± I pouted.
¡°Come now to Uncle Albus.¡±
¡°Not a chance,¡± said Quintin. Before I knew it, I was lifted into the air and placed on his shoulders. ¡°Papa is the only one who gets to carry her.¡±
¡°Papa!¡± I said, excited, forcing a goofy grin on my face as I lightly batted his head. ¡°So tall! Hee hee!¡±
¡°I never get to hold her anymore,¡± complained Albus.
¡°That can¡¯t be true,¡± retorted Quintin.
¡°It is!¡±
¡°Mhm. Maybe another time. We¡¯ve got things to do and stuff to buy. Suspect everyone has got the same idea, or will sooner or later,¡± said Quintin as he deftly changed the topic. ¡°Winter¡¯s coming, after all.¡±
The three of us said goodbye to Albus and strolled down the main street through town. People greeted us along the way. The lone baker, Greta, gave me a piece of bread. The blacksmith, Harkin, who had one of the only continually busy businesses year-round, waved hello and gave Quintin back his bow he had dropped by earlier in the week to get repaired. Everyone else offered us waves or warm greetings.
"Yen! Play with us!¡± shouted a flock of children from the village. Six of them were running through town and passed us, laughing, as they thumped by.
I stared after them with no intention of responding. I may have been a kid in body, but the idea of frolicking mindlessly through the village like an idiot wasn¡¯t something I wanted to do. I doubted Amalia would let me even if I wanted to.
We soon arrived at one of Amalia¡¯s favorite stalls in the town¡¯s market. She looked through the ingredients and picked up vegetables for dinner.
A brilliant, bright book floated just above her left hand. It was her codex, a personal log made of mana.
A codex could store items, create contracts, keep notes, manage money, and relay basic personal information to its owner. It essentially served as a journal, backpack, and bank rolled into one magical, personal, real-time book. I had been allowed to examine Quintin¡¯s and Amalia¡¯s codexes a few times and generally understood how they worked. Most people did since they were vital for survival.
I didn¡¯t have a codex and wouldn¡¯t until I awakened my mana. It meant that if I needed to, I could not buy or sell goods because I couldn¡¯t access the commonly used currency. Of course, there were ways around that, yes, but it was inconvenient.
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¡°Look at it,¡± I heard a woman hiss as she passed us in the market. ¡°Acting like it¡¯s one of us. Monster.¡± I heard her spit. ¡°Why do they treat it like a person? Disgusting.¡±
I ignored her. Her words hardly phased me.
Quintin, however, clenched my hand. He let me down a while ago and has been keeping me close to him since we were in public. ¡°Don¡¯t listen to them,¡± he said calmly.
¡°Stupid people don¡¯t matter to me,¡± I replied.
Quintin chuckled, relaxing immediately.
Suddenly, an idea popped into my head. ¡°Are people going to treat me worse when I get older?¡± I asked Quintin suddenly.
Quintin¡¯s steps slowed. ¡°What do you mean?¡±
¡°People don¡¯t really bother me now like they did the first time people saw my ears. Most kids treat me fine, and even some adults don¡¯t seem to care. But the people who do?¡± I hesitated, then forced the words out. ¡°They don¡¯t see me as a person. They never will.¡±
Quintin¡¯s jaw tightened.
¡°They tolerate me because I¡¯m small and harmless. But what happens when I grow up? Will they suddenly hate me? Will they¡ª¡± I stopped myself.
Quintin didn¡¯t answer right away. Instead, he ran a hand through his hair before exhaling sharply. ¡°No. It won¡¯t get worse.¡±
¡°You don¡¯t sound sure.¡±
Silence.
¡°I need to learn how to defend myself,¡± I said, essentially laying out my reason for wanting to learn to use magic and fight. ¡°I don¡¯t want to wait until something happens and then regret it.¡± I turned to him, my voice firmer. ¡°You were a soldier. You know how to fight. Teach me.¡±
¡°Absolutely not,¡± Amalia cut in, rejoining us from the market stall. Her tone left no room for argument. ¡°You¡¯re five. You¡¯re too young.¡±
¡°That¡¯s arbitrary. What other five-year-old acts like me? Age is irrelevant. I¡¯m special,¡± I said arrogantly, though, objectively, my words were correct. More importantly, I was tired of this damn argument. ¡°If I wait, it''ll be too late by the time I actually need those skills. Why not now?¡±
¡°Because you are safe.¡± Amalia¡¯s voice softened, but her expression was resolute. ¡°You have a home. A family. We won¡¯t let anything happen to you.¡±
¡°Can we really say that?¡± Quintin murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. ¡°You know what she is, Amalia. She¡¯s experienced it firsthand. You know how people¡ª¡±
¡°We¡¯ll talk about it later,¡± she interrupted.
¡°Which means we won¡¯t,¡± I muttered.
Amalia sighed. ¡°Yen, listen to me. I want you to be happy. I want you to have a childhood.¡± She crouched down, meeting my eyes. ¡°You¡¯re obviously different from other kids, even putting aside your ears. You are intelligent beyond your years. But if you start training now, if you take that path, you won¡¯t ever be able to step away from it. You understand that, right?¡±
I did.
But I also knew I had no other choice. So did she. I could tell. Even so, she didn¡¯t relent.
¡°Then if I¡¯m so safe, I¡¯ll just become an adventurer tomorrow,¡± I said, feigning innocence. ¡°Sure, I can¡¯t use mana, never used a sword, never hunted an animal, and don¡¯t even have my codex yet, but I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll figure it out. After all, it¡¯s not like this town revolves around hunting for food and killing monsters to survive.¡± I flashed her a too-sweet smile. ¡°Oh, wait.¡±
Amalia closed her eyes, inhaled deeply, then smiled. ¡°You¡¯re grounded.¡±
I blinked. ¡°What?¡±
¡°You heard me.¡± She patted the hem of her dress and stood. ¡°There will be no talk like this until you¡¯re older. But¡¡± She glanced at Quintin and then back at me. ¡°I guess¡I guess you can learn to hunt animals. Just deer and target practice for now. And only with your father. If you disobey him once, no more. Do you understand me?¡±
¡°Yes, mom.¡± I paused. ¡°So¡when I¡¯m older¡ª¡±
¡°You¡¯re pushing your luck.¡±
¡°Sorry.¡±
It was a start.
¡°Am I wrong?¡± I asked Quintin once Amalia had walked ahead of us.
He chuckled. ¡°Your approach? Yeah. Your point? Not at all.¡±
¡°As long as I got what I wanted.¡±
¡°Brat.¡± Quintin ruffled my hair. ¡°Come on. We¡¯ll make you a bow together after my next job.¡±
I smiled. ¡°Promise?¡±
Quintin grinned. ¡°Promise.¡±
(Ch.4): A Start, Part 1
The woods wrapped around us like a cloak as Quintin and I moved slowly beneath their green and brown visages. It was cool and dry, and we were downwind. I walked silently behind my adoptive father while he paced forward, his eyes trained on the trees. Occasionally, he¡¯d stop to examine tracks on the ground.
It was our first day hunting together. He told me to watch, observe, and try not to make any noise. Quintin gave me a cloak and a hunting knife but told me not to play with the knife or use it unless there was an emergency. Like me, he wore a cloak, but he also had leather armor on his chest, legs, arms, and joints. He had no weapons at his side or on his body other than a quiver of arrows on his hip.
¡°Stop,¡± ordered Quintin. ¡°Do you understand what I¡¯m doing?¡± he asked me quietly.
¡°Not at all,¡± I admitted.
¡°Right.¡± Quintin scratched his head. ¡°Never taught anyone anything before.¡± He cleared his throat. ¡°I¡¯m tracking a deer.¡±
¡°How?¡±
Quintin then spent fifteen minutes discussing footprints, what they told him, and why they mattered. Then, we moved into a short segment on feces and brush breakage.
After the brief lesson, Quintin asked me to assess what we should do next based on what he told me. I gave him answers, and then he pointed out the things I missed or that were inaccurate. We repeated this several times until I began to understand.
¡°You¡¯re picking it up faster than I thought you would. But you¡¯ve always been smarter than most, so I don¡¯t know why I¡¯m surprised,¡± admitted Quintin. ¡°We¡¯ll make a hunter out of you yet. Stick with it. Learning to take care of yourself will ensure that if anything happens to me or Amalia, you¡¯ll be able to survive.¡±
¡°Don¡¯t die so I don¡¯t have to,¡± I replied.
Quintin chuckled. ¡°We¡¯ll try not to.¡±