《Chains of Duty Chains of Desire》


 1. Turmoil.

    ¡°Sylvester! I said 2 minutes! Hurry your ass up!¡± My boss, Mr. Tucker, yelled from the backdoor of the bar.


    I couldn¡¯t be upset, he saved me from a grim trip to the past in my whirling thoughts. Small embers glistened in the twilight as I squished my cigarette on the ground. That beautiful color reminds me of his heart-piercing gaze¡­


    It had been a year since I decided. I couldn¡¯t be the secret anymore, the side piece in a twisted love story that was supposed to be mine. Every time I closed my eyes, I could still feel the warmth of his body against me, the way his hands would roam, igniting a fire that both thrilled and terrified me.


    But not enough for me to push him away every time he kisses my neck. Nibble on my earlobe and whispered in his husky voice ¡°Fuck, Syl¡­ you¡¯re gonna be mine tonight huh?¡±


    I hated myself and still am for being so easy. Just another hole for him to snuggle his cock in. It always starts with him showing up in the bar, standing almost taller than the doorframe, like an apex hunter knowing his prey. Whenever hungry, he¡¯ll come to the spot that guarantees a meal. But I had to draw the line somewhere, after countless nights spent tangled in the sheets, surrounded by that familiar sex musk that no one can describe the smell of. Passionately making out as the moonlight kisses our skin. Falling asleep with his arms around me, only to wake up to the reality of his world ¡ª his girlfriend, his career¡ª I decided it was time to break free and be absolute¡­ But moving on wasn¡¯t as easy as I thought it would be.


    Well¡­ I lied; I knew that it would be an uphill battle. My weak ass love deprived loser. Lack of a father figure as a child. This conflict seems to be unwinnable most of the time. I created an illusion of victory by focusing on my job. I poured my heart and soul into my work, shaking cocktails, serving drinks, meeting strangers and sometimes even hooking up with the customers. It was mainly men twice my age, as I felt safe with them. But none can fill that hole like he does¡­ Every time the door swung open and the bell jingled, my heart would skip a beat. I expected him to walk in with that cocky grin, the one that made my stomach twist and turn. But he never did; he is not a creep. He respects my false wishes. If I tell him not to show up, he won¡¯t. Part of it was fear. The picture-perfect image of a handsome young man, serving his country as a marine with a conventionally beautiful girlfriend that I could easily ruin. But he knows deep down that I wouldn¡¯t hurt him that way, that my heart belongs to him, and our desire for each other is paralleled.


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    It wasn¡¯t long before I started to read his persistent texts on my notifications screen. At first, they were casual, full of humor and playful teasing, a glimpse of the connection we once shared. But as the days turned into weeks, his messages took on a more desperate tone.


    ¡°Just wanna grab a drink,¡± he¡¯d say. ¡°Can we talk? I miss you...¡±


    I¡¯d read them over and over, my chest would get tight with the memories of our stolen moments. I could picture him, that strong physique in his uniform, the world¡¯s weight on his shoulders, yet behind closed doors, he was mine. My heart ached for that intimacy, but I remembered the pain, the way I felt when I realized I was just a secret. Yet my hands itched from restraining to type back, it was almost painful to the point that it was unbearable. So¡­ I scratched¡­ Reluctantly, I reread my own text for what felt like a thousand times before my shaking thumb hit the send button.


    ¡°Hey. You know where to find me.¡±

 2. Where it all begins again.

    A wave of regret washed over me. Why? Why did I let myself do that? For an entire year, I had managed to ignore him. Yet I started it again, fully aware that the blame rests solely on my shoulders. Yet, despite the lessons of the heart that echo in my mind, I find myself helplessly drawn back into the embrace of love''s intoxicating allure. It was a quiet Tuesday night, the kind where the world outside seemed to hold its breath. I began to tidy up the place. My hands moved instinctively over the familiar surfaces, each movement imbued with a bittersweet longing, as if the very air around me held the promise that he would come. The Marine barracks is a ten-minute walk away from here. He should''ve shown up by now if he truly wanted to see me. Perhaps this was for the best. Yet, a part of me simmered with anger. Wasn¡¯t this what I had wanted all along? For him to make a choice?


    "Fuck, I could really use a drink right now," I sighed, the weight of boredom settling heavily upon me.


    "Yep, same here... Make two," Mr. Tucker chimed in, with his eyes glued on his screen. Frustration etched on his face, as if he was in the same situation as I am.


    As I poured the rum and Coke, the door swung open. A gust of cool evening air swept in, accompanied by the unmistakable presence of a man who seemed to command attention effortlessly. My heart raced as if the world had paused just for us. There he stood, looking the same as ever¡ª rugged, handsome, and heartbreakingly familiar. With firm steps, he walks in. Letting the warm amber glow of the bar wrap around him like an embrace. His dark blonde hair was cut short and neat, with a polished finish that highlighted his chiseled features. A well-defined nose, strong yet elegant, lent an air of rugged sophistication to his face, while a five o''clock shadow traced the line of his jaw, adding to his allure. The faint scent of saltwater clung to him, a reminder of the sea, conjuring images of his pale skin contrasting against the deep blue and the thrill of adventure beckoning just beyond the horizon.


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    "Gunner!" Mr. Tucker''s sharp voice jolted me from my trance. "Long time no see boy!"


    "Mr. Tucker! Yo man... Believe me, if it were up to me, I''d be here every day," Gunner said, flashing a charming smile as he glanced my way. But that smile faltered when he caught the hint of anger in my eyes that was struggling to conceal the joy bubbling inside of me.


    ¡°Hey,¡± he said, his voice low and laden with emotion.


    ¡°Hey,¡± I replied, trying to keep my tone neutral.


    He approached, his hands shoved deep in his pockets, a nervous energy radiating off him. ¡°Can we talk?¡±


    ¡°About what? The same old story?¡± I couldn¡¯t help the bitterness that seeped into my words. "I¡¯m not some dog that wags its tail every time you call.¡± I struggled out from my throat, which seemed to be filled with grief. My eyes started to burn, poised to spill a mix of joy and sorrow.


    "Ahem..." Mr. Tucker cleared his throat, plainly demanding our attention. "Imma go... Sylvester, mind closing up? Don''t forget to turn off all the lights and the TV too, and make sure you lock the door!"


    "That''s a copy, sir," Gunner replied in my stead.


    "Damn right Gunner. Be seeing ya. Oh, and boys... Play nice, okay?" My boss strolled to the front door, determined to leave this tension as soon as he could. The bell jingled as the door closed, leaving a quiet stillness in the cozy space until Gunner broke the silence.


    ¡°Please, just hear me out,¡± he pleaded, stepping closer. ¡°I don¡¯t want to lose you.¡±


    But he was already losing me. I could feel it, that tightrope we walked, the way he pulled me into his world only to shove me back out when reality hits.

 3. The Fight.

    ¡°Then what do you want?¡± I asked, my heart pounding. ¡°You say you want me, but you won¡¯t let go of your picture-perfect life. I can¡¯t keep being your dirty little secret.¡±


    His brow furrowed, and spoke sharply with a clenched jaw, "Do you even hear how selfish you sound right now?"


    "Selfish? Huh... That''s rich coming from you."


    He stepped back as if I had slapped him. ¡°You don¡¯t understand. I¡¯m under so much pressure. My family, my job ¡ª they all expect me to be this... guy. But behind closed doors, when it¡¯s just us¡­ it¡¯s everything I want.¡±


    ¡°And yet you still keep me hidden!¡± I shot back, my voice rising. ¡°It¡¯s not fair to me, and it¡¯s not fair to her.¡±


    ¡°I know," he admitted, running his hand over his stubbled chin. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, glancing around the room as if searching for the right words. With a deep breath, he stuffed his hand back in his pocket. Frustration carved into his face. ¡°But I can¡¯t just turn my back on everything I¡¯ve built. I want you¡­ but I don¡¯t know how to have both.¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t have your cake and eat it too,¡± I said firmly, the tears stinging my eyes. ¡°I can¡¯t keep doing this, Gunner!¡± I shouted, my voice raw with frustration. ¡°You have to stop pretending like we don¡¯t exist!¡±


    Gunner''s jaw clenched once again, his bright brown eyes narrowing. ¡°I¡¯m not pretending! You don¡¯t understand what it¡¯s like for me. You don¡¯t know what I risk every time I¡¯m with you.¡±


    ¡°Risk?¡± I laughed bitterly. At that moment, the dam broke. We fought, words like knives, cutting deeper than either of us intended. I wanted him to understand, to see the damage that was done.


    ¡°You think you¡¯re the only one at risk here? I¡¯m the one wearing my heart on my sleeve. While you hide in the shadows like a fucking pussy!¡±


    His face flushed, and in a moment of fury, he shoved me back, causing me to stumble slightly.


    ¡°Watch it!¡± I snapped, but he didn¡¯t back down... ¡°Do it again, pussy! Show me just how much you don¡¯t care!¡± My words seemed to ignite something in him, and he stepped forward, shoving me even harder. This time, I caught my balance and shoved back. But he didn¡¯t move an inch due to his obvious strength advantage over me. With a sudden, violent motion, he shoved a chair next to him away, the wood scraping against the floor as it toppled over.


    ¡°You think you can just demand that I fucking change everything? You think love can fix this? This is not some gay-ass fairytale where everyone would cheer us on as we hold hands and walk into the sunset!"


    "Gay-ass? You''re gay too just so you know, by putting your cock inside of me right after you ate my ass saying that it taste sooo fucking good ¡ª" Gunner''s fist interrupted my nasty speech. Adrenaline flowed through my body, making me feel nothing but a slight sting on my face. I did a quick jab to his jaw, which startled him. He staggered back to balance. Rage painted all over his face; he charged forward, tackling me against the cafe counter, the clatter of cups and the thud of our bodies reverberating through the space. We grappled, our breaths heavy and ragged. Each punch was less about pain and more about release¡ªyears of love and frustration pouring out in a tempest of emotion.


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    "Fucking faggot!" I shouted, struggling to break free, knowing too well that it would fuel his anger even more. The fight was raw and messy, each bruise a testament to our struggle. We paused for a moment, chests heaving, locked in a stare that held both fury and an undeniable connection. As our rage began to wane, the bar fell back into its quiet stillness, leaving only the sound of our labored breaths and the distant hum of the bar fridge. In that moment, surrounded by the remnants of the fight, we both knew we loved each other fiercely, even amid the chaos and with my back still against the counter.


    As I caught my breath, staring into his fiery eyes. I could feel the heat radiating off his skin, the adrenaline coursing through my veins mingling with something deeper, something I couldn¡¯t quite shake.


    ¡°Is this what you wanted?¡± He spat, his voice rough. ¡°To get your ass kicked?¡±


    "You swing like a child!¡± I blurted out, wiping the back of my hand across my bleeding lips. ¡°Is that all you¡¯ve got, or are you just saving the best for your next pathetic excuse for a fight?¡±


    His expression gradually morphed into a sly smirk. I couldn¡¯t help but admire the way his eyes lit up with mischief.


    ¡°At least I¡¯m not some sissy pretending to be tough. You think you can scare me with those pathetic little jabs? You¡¯re all bark and no bite.¡±


    Just as the words left his mouth, something changed in the air between us... The tension, once electric and fused with anger, shifted into something more dangerous. My heart was pounding in my chest.


    ¡°You¡¯re full of shit,¡± I challenged, the edge of my voice softened by the heat rising between us.


    ¡°Am I?¡± he shot back, his voice low and teasing. Before I knew it, he grabbed my shirt and pulled me closer to his bruised face. Our lips collided, hard and fervent, a mix of teeth and breath that still carried the tension from our fight. The taste of sweat and anger blended together as we kissed, each movement fueling the fire we had just let loose.


    ¡°Is this what you wanted?¡± I repeated him against his lips, the words dripping with taunting venom. ¡°A fight with your mouth instead of your fists?¡±


    He chuckled darkly, his breath warm inside my mouth. ¡°Maybe it is. Maybe I just wanted to see if you could handle more than just a punch.¡± With each insult, each biting word, the fire between us only intensified. The bar faded away¡ªour surroundings, the mess of broken glasses¡ªeverything blurred into oblivion. All that remained was the taste of our anger and love, combined into a single, reckless kiss that both terrified and exhilarated me.


    ¡°Guess you¡¯re not such a terrible fighter after all,¡± He murmured, his forehead resting against mine as we finally pulled apart, both of us still panting.


    ¡°Don¡¯t get used to it. I still think that it can''t go on like this.¡± I shot back, a grin breaking across my face despite the sting in the corner of my lips. I could only laugh. At that moment, I knew that this was just the beginning.


    "Yeah... Me too..." He whispered in my ear before he playfully nipped it between his teeth.

 4. Hope is in the air.

    His grip softened as the warmth of our kiss still lingered between our faces. I took this opportunity to break free. Shaking my head, I chuckled to myself at how silly it all was. The fight had been nothing more than a playful dance that always left my heart racing. I knew all too well that my resolve was as fragile as the glasses I handled. No matter how firm I tried to be, I could feel my heart softening under the weight of his charm.  I walked to the backroom looking for a dustpan & brush so I could clean up the scattered glasses, hoping to find a little peace. But he just can¡¯t help himself. He dances around me like an idiot, throwing playful jabs,  trying to stir me up again.


    ¡°Stop it. I mean it,¡± I said, my voice mixed with softness and insistence as I caught his playful gaze.


    His bright brown eyes sparkled with mischief for a moment before shifting into a serious yet playful look.


    With a mocking salute, he stepped back, trying hard to compress a smirk. ¡°Sir, yes sir!¡± He then began to help me tidy up, his movements sure and confident. He picked up the fallen chair, setting it back in place with a gentle thud that echoed in the quiet bar. Once we locked up, we found ourselves standing outside, the cool breeze wrapping around us like a comforting blanket. The street was empty, the sounds of the night whispering softly in the background. For a moment, we stood in silence. I glanced over at him, the streetlight catching the sharp angles of his jaw and the way his nose cast a shadow on one side of his face, leaving but just a small triangle light on the cheek like a Rambrandt painting. There was something about the way he stood that no one I''ve been with seems to be able to emulate. Relaxed yet alert, it made me feel safe and seen and...  Loved.


    ¡°Do you ever just¡­ stop and think about how ridiculous we are?¡± I asked, breaking the silence, my voice barely above a whisper.


    ¡°Every day,¡± he replied, his tone serious but his eyes dancing with warmth.


    He then leaned down with both hands in his pockets as I closed my eyes, surrendering to his advance. When his lips met mine, the chill of the evening air faded into a distant memory. I could feel the gentle brush of his breath against my skin, a sweet contrast to the biting cold that lingered just beyond our shared warmth. Our kiss was soft yet urgent, a perfect harmony of tenderness and passion. The initial spark sent a shiver down my spine, igniting a warmth that spread through me like wildfire. Time seemed to stand still as the world around us faded into oblivion. The distant sounds of the night¡ªthe rustle of leaves, the faint echo of footsteps¡ªwere muffled like we existed in our own private universe. As he deepened the kiss, I felt the rush of emotions swell within me: joy, longing, and a sense of belonging that filled the empty spaces of my heart, then... Guilt.


    "I guess this is goodbye then... It''s late..." I whispered between our intertwined breaths.


    "Goodbye..." He replied, despite his refusal to part our lips.


    I pushed him away, breaking our kiss. Without a glance back, I started walking to my apartment. My heart was racing in my eardrums, drowning out the sound of the footsteps behind me. I thought I was finally alone. He understood the message. Then suddenly, a wave of sadness pierced my heart like a sad cupid''s arrow.


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    "Is he... Really gone?" I thought to myself.  "Is this really the last time?" I couldn''t help but look back to check. And there he was still, trailing behind me like a lost puppy trying to play it cool, acting like this was normal behavior for a grown man. I turned my head back to the road.


    My voice shaky from walking, I asked, "What are you doing?"


    ¡°Just making sure you get home safe," he said, flashing that charming smile that I could feel piercing my back.


    "I can take care of myself."


    "I know..."


    "So...? Stop following me then!"


    ¡°I¡¯m not following you. I¡¯m just walking with you to your apartment,¡± he insisted with a tone that made it seem like his grin had only grown wider.


    "Ugh!" I exclaimed in frustration as I started running. Knowing too well that I wouldn''t be able to shake him. He was a well-trained marine, strong and steady, like a human tank. I looked back to see that he effortlessly jogging behind me with that same goofy grin.


    "You really think you can lose me?" he called out, his voice teasing. I couldn¡¯t help but laugh, despite my irritation.


    "You¡¯re impossible!"


    "Maybe..." He said, closing the gap between us. "But I¡¯d rather be impossible than let you go home alone."


    I rolled my eyes, but my heart was racing¡ªnot just from running but from the thrill of having him by my side. This day couldn''t get any crazier. It started as one of those quiet and cozy evenings. But then he showed up, and everything changed. One moment, we were at each other''s throats, and the next, we were tangled up in a passionate kiss. Then, in one way or another, I''m here... Being chased to my apartment... Our footsteps echo through the empty streets, a mix of playful pursuit and unresolved tension. I could hardly believe how this night had flipped like a rollercoaster.


    Puffing and huffing, we finally reached my apartment complex.


    ¡°Okay¡­ Thanks for walking¡ªrunning with me,¡± I said, forcing it out between my heavy breaths.


    ¡°Any time...¡± he replied, calm and composed, as if this marathon was just another day for him.


    ¡°Goodbye¡­ Again.¡± I managed, finally able to stand straight and meet his gaze. But this time, he didn¡¯t say anything. His eyes were filled with a sadness that made my heart ache. I wanted to pull him close, to wrap my arms around him and never let go. Instead, I slowly beeped my keycard, and the heavy door creaked open. I stepped inside, leaving him behind.


    ¡°Syl¡­¡± he called softly, his voice thick with unshed tears.


    Then clang! The door shut, cutting off his words, and my heart shattered. Standing there in the excruciatingly empty space, I felt the weight of my thoughts pressing down on me. My heart raced as I thought about everything that could go wrong if I did what I was about to do. Yet, despite the fear, the ache in my chest urged me to go along. I couldn¡¯t stop my own body...  With trembling fingers, I pressed the door button from the inside. A soft beep chimed through the hall like an alarm warning of a disaster as the door swung open again. He was still there, standing, his face a mask of joy and relief. In a silence I chose not to break, I turn to the stairs and begin my ascent to the third story. His footsteps echoed softly behind me. Neither of us speaks, our unvoiced longing hanging in the air, rich with desire and anticipation.

 5. When its just us.

    The narrow staircase felt like it stretched on forever, each step heavy with anxiety. My palms were clammy, and a knot tightened in my stomach, twisting with every thought that rushed through my mind. Why am I so weak for him? This is exactly how the cycle starts all over again, I have to be the bigger person and break the wheel of this torturous affair. Finally, I reached the door to my room, but my fingers trembled as I fumbled with the key. The cold metal felt foreign in my hand, slipping just slightly as I struggled to find the keyhole. In that moment, I felt a warmth at my back, a familiar presence that never failed to comfort me. I felt his hand brush against mine, steadying it as he reached around me. His touch was warm, reassuring, and for a moment, all my doubts faded into the background. He guided the key into the lock, and with a satisfying click of the door opening that felt like a small victory, yet at the same time, it also


    stirred a whirlwind of emotions within me¡ªa dread disguised as an excitement. As the door swung open, I stepped inside. The room was dimly lit from the hallway. I turned to look at him.


    "Goodbye..." I whispered, my voice barely escaping my throat. Even as my words told him to leave, my body betrayed me. I walked straight to my bedroom, leaving the door wide open behind me. Moments later, I heard it click shut, plunging the room into darkness. As my eyes adjusted to the moonlight spilling through the window, I heard the soft tussle of shoes being removed. He too was inside, together with me, in the shadows.


    "Goodbye..." I said again, my voice even softer than last time. I closed my bedroom door behind me, creating a false barrier between us. As I peeled off my jacket and shoes, a shiver ran down my spine. I felt the weight of the moment, as if time itself was holding its breath, waiting for that door to swing open again. In spite of my anticipation, it didn''t fail to startle me when it finally happened. A quite terrifying figure stood in the doorway, cloaked in shadow, only its eyes glimmering in the pale moonlight that spilled into the room. They shone with an intensity of passion and lust.  All thoughts of fear melted away when my consciousness reminded me that it was Gunner. I turned my back to him, not wanting to meet his eyes. My heart raced as my chest filled with fear and anger. I was hoping that all of this was nothing but a bad dream and that he would dissolve away into thin air. But deep down, a part of me was ready to give in to this persistent jerk and let him do whatever he wanted. Without warning, he yanked me by the back of my collar and vigorously yanked me onto my bed. I fell down on the cold mattress like a ragdoll.


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    "Ow..." I coughed softly, the sharp pull catching me off guard. But he either didn''t hear me or chose to ignore it. Lost in his own world, he ripped my clothes away, tearing some of the thread that had held it together. He began kissing me, his lips tracing a path from my chest down to my hips.


    "Wait..! I''m sweaty..." I protested, my voice trembling.


    "I don''t care..." he growled, his eyes fierce.


    "But... It''s dirty..."


    "Shut up!" he snapped back, his tone leaving no room for argument.


    His breath was warm against my skin, and I felt a shiver of anticipation ripple through me as I surrendered to the intensity of his touch. When he took me inside his mouth, I could feel the weight of my inhibitions lifting. This was our moment, stolen from the world, and I was determined to savor every second.  My fingers threaded through his hair, gently guiding him, feeling every movement he made -- As the last remnants of his touch lingered on my skin, he slowly peeled away his uniform, layer by layer, revealing his bare skin, smooth and taut, mirroring my own, yet defined by far more muscles. The air thickened with anticipation as he leaned in, his breath warm against my ear.


    "Fuck, Syl..." he murmured, his voice a sultry promise, "You''re gonna be mine tonight huh...?"


    As he slowly entered me, tears welled up in my eyes and started to pour down my cheeks, overwhelmed by the rush of intense sensations and memories. This wave of d¨¦j¨¤ vu wrapped around me like a warm embrace, reminding me of a place where my heart truly belongs. Our bodies moved in a perfect rhythm.


    With each thrust, I whimpered in bliss, "I hate you, Gunner, I hate you, I hate you...."


    I could taste the sweetness of what we had been missing for all those months apart; each movement, each sigh, deepened the bond we shared, and I felt myself teetering on the edge of ecstasy. In that space, it was just us, two souls entwined in a moment of pure passion. The weight of the world, the expectations, the obligations, the distractions melted away. Nothing else mattered. Just us...

 6. Reminiscing.

    After the sex, the electric energy that had filled the air began to fade away as fast as it had risen. I lay nestled in his arms, sniffling, my eyes puffy from tears. Gently, he lifted my chin to plant a soft kiss on my lips, a warm smile spreading on his face.


    ¡°Why are you crying? Did I hurt you?¡± he asked, his voice a mix of teasing and concern.


    ¡°In more ways than one,¡± I replied, my tone sharper than I intended.


    "What I meant to say was, did I fuck you too hard?"


    "I know, idiot! And no... That''s not it.... It''s complicated." My voice cracked with confusion. "Why does it feel so right... You know..? This..? I don''t know, just forget it."


    "I know... And I''m sorry. For everything." His voice sounding sincere. "We find ourselves in the same boat, caught in a fierce wave that tugs at our hearts, pulling and pushing us in a direction without a destination in sight."


    "Wow... Mr. poet is my passion," I teased at his attempt to sound smart.


    "Hey, you know what? I actually wrote some poetry as a kid. And not to blow my own horn or anything, but it was way better than what my peers could come up with. I mean, I was basically a child prodigy! Who knew I was destined to be the Shakespeare of the playground? I might just retire and start my own poetry slam. Maybe I¡¯ll even wear a beret and sip herbal tea while I recite my masterpieces."


    "Hahaha. That sounds like a dull way to pass the time until you die..." I said, rolling onto my side to meet his gaze. "Hey Gunner..."


    "Hmm?"


    "Do you remember when we were younger? No worries or responsibilities in the world?"


    "Yeah... How we used to rush our homework at school, so we could play games together online at home. I swear I could''ve powered a small city with all those energy drinks we chugged just to stay up until 5 AM."


    "And somehow, we¡¯d magically wake up at 8 for school." I laughed, shaking my head. "Can you believe how people used to be shocked that we were friends? Me, a total loser, and you, the jock and life of the party."


    "Hey..." is fingers gently caressed my cheek, sending a shiver down my spine. "I''ll fucking beat them up if I knew that someone calling you a loser."


    "My gallant knight in shining armor," I chuckled in satisfaction. "No, but for real... How do you think we became friends?"


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    "I don''t know. You just clicked with me. You played the same game, like the same food and watch the same show."


    "I believe it''s more than that. We both transferred to the same school mid-year and formed a bond over our shared trauma of leaving our friends when we needed them most."


    "Or that..." He smiles playfully.


    I continued ignoring his mocking tone, "But do you remember that you actually met me via..." I paused for a moment, feeling the guilt flushing through my body. "June...?"


    "Hmmmm..." He mumbled, his gaze drifting off, lost in his own thoughts. "Sometimes I think... That I was actually approaching you back then..."


    "No!" I shot back, perhaps a bit too quickly, desperate to keep whatever I have left of my conscience intact. "You love her, Gunner..."


    "Well, I didn''t say that I don''t..." he said, a witty smirk dancing on his lips. The teasing lilt in his voice sent a rush of heat to my cheeks. I shoved him away with all the strength I could muster, given that we were both lying in the same bed. I felt my blood boil but was oblivious to the cause. Why was I mad? Did I want to hear that he actually doesn''t love his girlfriend but me? Before I could jump out of bed, he grabbed me with his strong arms, locking me in place against his chest. Skin to skin, my face half-buried in the curve of his biceps. The familiar scent of him, a mix of musk and something uniquely his, filled my lungs, and I fought against the wave of emotions threatening to wash over me.


    ¡°Let me go!¡± I muffled against his firm upper arm. Tears began to spill, hot and unbidden, trailing down my cheeks, losing myself in the feeling of being both trapped and safe.


    ¡°Cry baby¡­¡± he mocked as he tightened his embrace, showing no sign of letting go.


    ¡°Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!¡± I shouted with rage. But deep down, I knew I didn¡¯t really mean it. Each protest felt like a futile attempt to push him away, even though my heart yearned to stay close. I could feel the warmth of his breath against my hair,  his steady heart beating against my shoulder blades, a rhythm that soothed the storm inside me. I surrendered to the pull of exhaustion, drifting off into sleep in his arms. Like always...