《A Dreamer in a Dream (A Skyrim SI)》


 Chapter 1 - Highway to Helgen

    Cold. Why the fuck is it so cold?


    I had been counting sheep inside my nice, cozy apartment and in my nice, cozy bed, so I was rightfully fucking confused.


    That there were what looked like honest-to-God ropes snaking around my wrists wasn''t helping my panicking either. And why¡ª


    "Hey, you. You''re finally awake."


    ¡­


    Fuck, it was funny, but hearing those words actually helped with calming down. It was just a dream.


    Still, it was kinda messing with my head how real everything looked and felt.


    There was also something, or someone, out of place. A giant of a woman, with strawberry blonde hair and angry blue eyes.


    Her armor, if you could call it that, was a haphazard mess of metal and leather that didn''t even try to hide her thick fucking thighs, so I just chalked it up to some fetish fuel my sex-deprived brain produced. It had been a bit.


    All of those thoughts fled as a wind so cold that I could probably feel it in my soul swept over me. It left me huddling in on myself, wondering why a dream like that would think it was a good idea to try and turn me into a human popsicle. I couldn''t pinch myself awake like this, so I did the next best thing, which was giving myself a good bonk on the forehead.


    "What''s the matter with you?" Thunder Thighs asked. "You''re not a madman, are you?"


    A figment of my imagination asking me if I was crazy¡­


    I looked at her again, trying to think of something smart to say when Ralof spoke again. "What''s your story? You don''t have the look of a Nord like the rest of our sorry lot here."


    I tried, but it felt like I''d just finished gargling sand.


    "We have the horse thief, and the lovely lass here," he continued with an easy smile. It weakened slightly when she gave him the cold shoulder. "No secrets amongst the damned, is there?"


    Something maybe funny did come to mind. "I was sharing a few drinks with Sam," I finally got out through dry lips, "the next thing I know¡­"


    I gestured around, drawing a chuckle from him.


    "I can''t say I know the man, but it sounds like a good time. Just a shame it landed you with us, eh?"


    "Yeah," I muttered under my breath. This fucking cold didn''t quit.


    Thunder Thighs was still looking at me funny, while Ulfric fucking Stormcloak behind her was staring at nothing in particular.


    "Look at him, General Tullius the Military Governor." My eyes followed Ralof''s, giving me my first look at Helgen. It only vaguely looked like I remembered. "And it looks like the Thalmor are with him. Damn elves. I bet they had something to do with this."


    I looked past the very Roman looking man at Elenwen, with her golden skin and black ensemble. Our eyes caught as if she noticed, and I gave her a wink that had her looking away with a small sneer.


    It was always fun messing with her or the Thalmor, bunch of wacky omnicidal elves that they were.


    The cart soon came to a stop, where a woman with a very familiar voice and a severe case of resting bitch face had us dragged out. Next the guy next to me would try and escape before being turned into a pincushion.


    Though maybe I could stop it? It''s my dream, after all.


    I elbowed him in the side. "I wouldn''t try and make a run for it." I pointed out the archers. "They''d use you for target practice."


    The fight quickly went out of him, and he went back to muttering prayers under his breath. Kinda anticlimactic.


    "You there, the giant strumpet and the fool next to her," that shrill voice shouted again. "Step up."


    The ''giant strumpet'' turned to stare at Captain Resting Bitch Face with eyes so cold they could strike a man dead.


    Wait. Did she just call me a fool? Rude.


    "Names?" An equally familiar voice asked softly.


    "Skadi of Ivarstead," Thunder Thighs proudly answered.


    "At the base of the Throat of the World?" Hadvar''s eyes turned on me after. "And you?"


    I almost told him Hadvar, just to fuck with him. But that would probably be too on the nose. "Leman Russ," I said instead, the first name that came to mind.


    He seemed skeptical. "Where are you from?"


    "Fenris. You wouldn''t have heard of it."


    Hadvar dutifully checked anyway. "Captain, they''re not on the list."


    His boss didn''t give a solitary fuck. "Forget the list, they go to the block."


    "Is this how Imperial justice is meted out these days?" a certain someone spat, staring them both down. "I am no Stormcloak. I swear it."


    Hadvar was sympathetic, maybe, but he wasn''t calling the shots here anyway.


    "You were found with them," Captain Resting Bitch Face hissed, "you''re as much a traitor in my eyes. The Empire has spent enough blood and coin on you oathbreakers."


    Then, like clockwork, I heard a roar.


    I looked back in time to see Tullius make his way to our little posse. "What is the matter here, Cassia? Get on with it."


    The giant of a woman pointed at him accusingly. "Is this the Empire I remember, or a pack of bandits, eager for innocent blood?"


    "You can be given your last rites, or you can be run through, here and now." The older man''s eyes were cold and pitiless despite her towering over him.


    I took a peek at the sky, still blue. This might turn into a clusterfuck before Alduin even dropped in. But what did I care? I was still one step removed from a popsicle, and everyone was ignoring me anyway.


    What a shitty dream this was¡­


    Captain Resting Bitch Face had drawn her sword as another roar sounded, this one closer. It finally set off a panic, but it was too late now.


    I looked up just in time to see a furious mass of black scatter the clouds.


    "What in Oblivion is that?"


    "It''s in the clouds!"


    Alduin landed with enough force to crack the stone tower, and then the words, the shouts, cracked the sky apart in much the same way. Suddenly, it wasn''t so cold anymore. It also looked really fucking cool, even if I''d secretly been hoping that Thomas the Tank Engine would pop out instead.


    Everyone proceeded to fucking scatter, the argument forgotten. Well, almost everyone.


    I saw her having a staring contest with Alduin now. Wait. Was this supposed to be a big damn hero moment on my part?


    With courage born from all of this being a dream anyway, I made it to her, and not knowing how else to get her attention, gave her long hair a pull. Which, honestly, was easier said than done with just how tall she was. But it worked.


    She quickly looked around, taking everything in. "We can''t stay here."


    "You think?" But she had already thundered off, so what could I do but follow her? At least until some of the falling sky¡ª


    ¡ªI was staring up at the sky again, more red than blue now, and I couldn''t hear shit. Why the fuck haven''t I woken up already?


    It had to be the magic mushrooms I took a few days ago. Delayed bad acid trip, maybe?


    I felt myself being unceremoniously tossed over someone''s shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and even the sight of an impressive backside didn''t do much to improve my mood.


    My ride suddenly lurched up the stairs, and she didn''t even hesitate before jumping through the breach. I felt the impact of her hard landing, and then another when she kicked a door clean off its hinges with her fucking thunder thighs.


    It didn''t end until I found my miserable body being unceremoniously dumped on the floor. "You''ll live. Arm took the worst of it."


    I took a deep breath and finally looked.


    ¡­


    Fuck. My left arm looked like somebody had taken sandpaper to parts of it, red and blotchy, and looking at must have reminded my body that it was supposed to hurt like a motherfucker.


    "Some didn''t get off so lucky," she muttered again, and I saw what she was talking about. There was a guy lying face down a few feet away, his back and head completely covered in burns, his clothes almost having fused to his skin. And the smell. I just noticed it.


    I never wanted to know what burnt flesh smelled like, and I didn''t fucking feel like I got off lucky either. I shoulda already been sipping on a nice, hot cup of coffee right about now, but nooooo¡­


    There was just one thought that came to my mind. Fuck you, Todd. I want a refund.


    Thunder Thighs soon returned with an axe that looked like a toy in her hands, freeing my hands with a stroke.


    "We''re the only ones who made it," someone said after a sigh. Probably Ralof. Sounded like him. "That thing was a dragon. The harbingers of the End Times¡­"


    "Bah." The clang of metal drew both our attention to the doors. "Locked." Then she suddenly went still. "Footsteps. We might have a fight on our hands."


    Great. Wonderful.


    Ralof proceeded to drop an axe in my hands, but I only had a few short seconds to even get a feel for it before the doors opened, revealing Captain Resting Bitch Face.


    She never got the chance to make a peep as seven feet of woman immediately ran her over, and Ralof shunted his own axe into a surprised soldier''s neck, the squirt of blood downright obscene. This wasn''t a dream, this was a fucking nightmare.


    And just my fucking luck, one of the soldiers noticed me, axe in hand, and fucking ran at me with a hysterical cry.


    I forgot all about how much my arm hurt in that moment, the only thing in the world being the screaming man running at me.


    Out of sheer desperation, and not knowing what else I could do, I screamed back at him like a fucking lunatic, and then I tripped him. His surprised face quickly met the floor with a sickening crack, blood spurting from a broken nose as he was knocked out cold.


    I was breathing hard, and my heart felt like it was trying to tear out of my chest. It was just too fucking real. All of it.


    I leaned back against the stone wall, my left arm stinging like a bitch again. For a moment it had felt like I could take on the world, but that was gone now. The smell of burnt flesh was joined by another smell now, thick and metallic. Blood.


    My eyes were unfortunately drawn to the sounds of someone gasping for breath. Captain Resting Bitch Face was dangling a foot off the ground, her legs kicking helplessly. "Giant strumpet, was it?" Skadi hissed, ignoring the hands clawing at her arm.


    It was fucking brutal. I looked at Ralof, but he just shrugged as he continued to loot the bodies.


    "I''d just give her a clean death, but she seems rather aggrieved."


    And what the fuck was I going to do? Get in between them? I already tried playing the hero, and all I got were these burns.


    "The Empire''s supposed to keep the peace, not act like bandits," she hissed again. Then she threw the smaller woman away like yesterday''s trash, the once proud woman wheezing like one of those squeaky toys. "We should keep moving."


    Ralof chuckled as he watched her stalk through the doors. "I think we should tag along. Worst comes to worst, she might try and wrestle the dragon herself."


    I sighed as I followed after both of them, trying not to look at the bodies at my feet.


    Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.


    I couldn''t even blame Truck-kun or any of his friends. All I remembered was going to sleep. Lights out, lights on.


    Walking into a familiar room that also stank of blood, and worse, I was just in time to see Skadi knee some poor fucker in the balls hard enough to lift him a whole two feet into the air. Ralof, meanwhile, was doing his best to stick his axe into the creepy-looking fuck lobbing lightning at him.


    Magic. That''s what I needed.


    The two seemed to have things well in hand, so I looked around, finding a cage with a dead man in it. I didn''t know the first thing about picking a lock, but then it hit me.


    I slammed the axe down on the rusty lock, the top of it collapsing after a few blows. Easy enough.


    Inside, I still did my best not to think about what I was actually doing. I found two sturdy glass vials with a shimmering blue liquid inside, one full to the brim and one half empty; potions, probably.


    Fortunately, the pants I''d gone to bed in had some pockets to stuff them inside of. A little more looting later, I finally found what I was looking for.


    I had just cracked the musty thing open and laid my eyes on a page when it vanished from my hands, leaving me with the mother of all headaches. Magicka. Mundus. Aetherius.


    I knew the lore, even some of the wacky shit, but this was more like a fucking calc textbook had been shoved through my skull.


    Still, seeing as I was soon watching electricity springing from my fingers like I was fucking Palpatine, I think it was worth it. I only cut it out when I felt¡­ it was hard to describe. Like something was hollowing me out, maybe.


    "Dead?" Ralof asked behind me. He was probably asking about the corpse. "Talos watch over him."


    I turned back around to find him wiping blood off his axe, a shiny new knife on his hip. He was a practical man if nothing else.


    We continued deeper underground, stone walls turning into something more earthy and mossy. It gave me some time to think, for all the good it did. I still had a headache, and thinking about it just made me want to stop thinking about it.


    The giantess paused. "Hear that?"


    I frowned, looking around. Wasn''t this where¡­


    Swallowing, I looked up, and wished I hadn''t. The ceiling was moving, and covered in eyes. Then they began to fall.


    I wasn''t doing much thinking at that point. I just started blasting.


    There was something infinitely cathartic about watching them pop like eggs in a microwave, and for the first time it actually felt like a dream. I didn''t feel fucking useless, and it didn''t even matter that I couldn''t aim for shit, there were just that many. Though I also felt it again, that feeling of being hollowed out.


    Thankfully, the spiders made a run for it just as I was beginning to feel like a stick man.


    Skadi punted one that had stuck around too long, and then she gave me a look. "I should have known. Haven''t met a mage that wasn''t a madman."


    I snorted. Pot, meet kettle. Still, I probably shouldn''t mention that I''d only picked up magic maybe fifteen minutes ago.


    Ralof was more friendly. "I''ll not complain. Faced enough of the Empire''s battlemages to know their value."


    I didn''t tell him I only just knew the one spell either.


    I also hoped that hollow feeling would fuck off, but no luck. What did help was knocking back one of those potions I found, the funky taste of glue and blue raspberry returning some life to my limbs.


    "A she-bear," Ralof whispered after we stopped again. "Shall we sneak around her?"


    "I''m not the best sneak thief," Skadi grumped with some embarrassment. With fucking thunder thighs like hers, that didn''t surprise me. "How about we make a game of it. Whoever deals the killing stroke gets her hide?"


    Ralof chuckled again as he twirled his axe. "Sounds like fun."


    Their definition of fun was clearly out of whack. That thing made even her look small in comparison.


    I didn''t trust myself to try and pull another Palpatine moment, being just as likely to hit them as the bear, so I just awkwardly approached behind them.


    It was only beginning to stir when Skadi''s axe bit deep into its ribs, only to roar in pain as Ralof sliced into the other side. They kept it on the backfoot like that, hacking away at it again and again.


    I saw more than one opening to try and get a hit in myself, but somehow I wasn''t the biggest fan of approaching a fucking unit of a bear. Real mystery as to why.


    I still went for it, just as the head turned away from me. It was a bad habit of mine, wanting to impress the girl. Even in this case, where she could turn me into a pretzel if she wanted to.


    It was hard to explain what happened next. I had screamed like a lunatic again as I tried to bring my axe down hard on its spine, and there was a sound like something breaking, glass, maybe, but that wasn''t what had me tripping balls.


    I died? I wasn''t fast enough, and with an uncanny speed, it locked its teeth around my throat. But at the same time, I was fast enough, hacking through the spine, the impact even traveling through my bones painfully.


    In the end, I was still standing, and the bear more than twice the size of me was not.


    Skadi let out an almost girlish whoop, while me? I just marveled at my sheer balls. Did I even have the excuse of thinking this was a dream anymore?


    "You really are a madman, aren''t you, Russ? Throwing yourself at her like that." Despite her words, it was the first time she looked at me with anything approaching respect, even if that wasn''t actually my name.


    Ralof handed me the knife I saw earlier. "Try and make it quick. I''d like to feel the sun on my face again."


    I took it, but I didn''t have a clue what to do with it.


    "Never skinned a bear before?" Right. Not that I never skinned anything in my life. "I''ll do it, and consider us even."


    So she did remember me knocking her out of her funk. I handed the knife to her, and our eyes caught for a moment.


    "It''s not a skinning knife, but it''ll do." The moment was ruined as soon as she started.


    I might have gotten used to the bloodshed through sheer fucking osmosis, but seeing a still bleeding bear butchered right in front of me, the sounds of the knife scraping against bone¡­


    At least she worked quickly.


    Throwing the hide over her shoulder after, she pushed her hair out of her eyes and got back on her feet. "I''ll do the rest when we make camp for the night."


    She threw the knife to Ralof, who leaned down to take off some of the meat. "Something to fill our bellies tonight," he commented. "A shame to leave the rest of her to rot, but we''ll want to move quickly if we don''t want to run into the Empire again."


    The light at the end of the tunnel in this case meant a run-in with the fair weather of Skyrim again. Let''s just say I wasn''t a fan.


    I did see something that caught my eye, another familiar sight.


    "Haven''t seen these three since I was a boy," Ralof said with some nostalgia.


    I walked over to the one with what looked like a wizard carved into the stone. Reaching out, I touched a hand to it, but if it was supposed to do something, I wasn''t seeing it.


    "Always preferred the warrior myself," Skadi commented as she leaned against another, giving me a grin. "Nothing like splitting skulls and breaking bones."


    After that colorful comment, she looked away in the direction of the mountains.


    "The Throat of the World," she continued in a whisper. "I should make the journey home to Ivarstead, tell my family what we just saw. But I find myself drawn north, and I don''t know why."


    I could guess why, but somehow I didn''t think she would believe me. The real question was what the fuck I was doing here.


    I couldn''t get that nagging question off my mind even as I helped Ralof spark a fire once the sun began to set, and it somehow got even colder. I never had bear before, but then I''d never axed a bear either. Maybe it was because I was starving, but it was the sweetest meat I ever tasted.


    I watched Skadi work on the hide after, her brows scrunching together in a way I thought was kinda cute.


    If this was actually a dream of mine, then she would be working with the same determination on something else, or, knowing myself, probably fighting over who would get to go first with Captain Resting Bitch Face. Eventually, of course, they would have decided to make it a team effort.


    Seeing as none of that was happening, I was starting to worry that I might actually be stuck here.


    "There." I caught what looked like a cloak with an oof. It was heavy. "You''ll still have to get it cured properly, but it should keep you warm for the time being."


    I tried to throw it over my shoulders, but ended up practically burying myself under it instead, leaving her giggling like a schoolgirl.


    Our eyes caught again, and the firelight made hers look like two twin sapphires.


    Fuck it.


    "There''s room enough for two," I said, staring her down. Kinda. "We could share it for tonight¡­ or for however many nights we end up sharing together. It seems we''re both going north."


    I could see I caught her off guard, and for a few heartbeats she looked like a deer in headlights.


    "You just keep surprising," she muttered under her breath. It tickled me seeing her so shy all of a sudden, but then she scooted closer, lying on her side on the soft grass next to me. "No funny business," she warned. "You try something and I''ll snap it in half."


    I didn''t need to ask for clarification about what ''it'' was.


    Despite the warning, I couldn''t help admiring her for a moment. Up close, she was even more impressive, especially her long legs. I''d seen the damage she could do with them.


    I also noticed faded sky blue lines running across her body, mostly around her thighs and belly.


    "Are you waiting for the sun to rise?" she complained.


    Right. I lied down facing her, pulling the cloak over the both of us. I just wasn''t expecting her to suddenly snuggle up to me, entangling her legs with mine.


    I sure as shit didn''t complain.


    "You said you were heading north?" she asked, drawing my eyes to hers again.


    I quietly racked my brain for an answer. "The College of Winterhold."


    She snorted, not surprised. But then that was the point.


    I could tell she wanted to ask something more, but she seemed to think better of it, her eyes sleepy. She pulled me in even closer instead, and apparently I graduated from sack of potatoes to teddy bear. Again, I didn''t complain.


    For maybe the first time, I didn''t actually want to wake up, but I could feel myself starting to nod off anyway. I expected that to be the end of it, but instead I dreamed.


    I dreamed of a tower being built higher and higher. It gleamed under the sun, that great, big gaping hole to Aetherius. There were no builders, no cranes, but there was sound.


    The tower, the sound, the tower, the sound, the tower¡­


    It continued without end. All that changed was the tower reached ever higher.

 Chapter 2 - Blue Raspberry, Glue, Soap

    I didn''t wake up feeling like half a popsicle this time, and I sighed, basking in the warmth.


    What a fucking dream that¡ª


    Wait. It was then I felt it, my face smushed between two very soft somethings. Now, it was nice, don''t get me wrong, but I was alone in my apartment, and I somehow doubted that a girl had broken in during the night just to cuddle.


    The strands of blonde hair I spied in the corner of my admittedly limited vision practically confirmed it.


    I was also trapped. Seriously, she must have eaten all her veggies as a kid and asked for seconds. Didn''t help that she seemed to be a heavy sleeper as well.


    Resigning myself to it, I listened to her snoring softly for a time. If I was being melodramatic, I would have said that there were worse ways to meet the Reaper.


    It was moving my head left and right that finally did the trick, and after her very blue eyes took in the situation, she relented with some red on her cheeks.


    Though as we shifted around some underneath the heavy cloak, she gave me a cross look. If I had to guess, it was because a part of me was poking her. "What did I say about funny business?"


    I stared bravely in the face of her fury. "It''s not like I can tell it what to do."


    I didn''t expect her to suddenly give me a grin. "I haven''t snapped it in half, have I?" She didn''t pull away either. "Most men don''t like how I make them feel small."


    It''s not that it wasn''t fucking with my head just how much woman she was; it was more that there were a thousand other things fucking with my head right now, and that wasn''t even close to the worst offender. I still had no idea what the fuck was going on. Were we even speaking in English right now?


    "My masculinity is not so fragile," I said instead.


    There was a double entendre that she probably caught, seeing as her grin got more toothy.


    "Maybe we''ll see."


    Saying that, she pushed the cloak off of her and got to her feet, stretching in the sunlight. I couldn''t help just watching her a moment before I joined her, where I was immediately greeted by the cold.


    Thankfully, burying myself in my swanky new cloak kept the worst of it away. I also noticed Ralof combing his hair. Where did he even find a comb?


    "I had been betting on the two of you arguing for most of the night," he commented. "Happy to be proven wrong."


    Skadi snorted from the tree trunk she had commandeered. Then she pulled out a comb as well, running it through her long hair. Did I miss some kind of memo?


    "I''ve a sister in Riverwood that can share with us a hot meal and some supplies for the road," he continued. "At our pace, we should make it there in two days'' time."


    There was a frown on her lips at his words that Ralof must have noticed as he laughed cheerfully.


    "Don''t trouble yourself with it. Gerdur has done well for herself, and we are comrades in arms now, are we not? It is by the skin of our teeth that we have escaped arriving in Sovngarde with so few stories to tell. Talos must be watching us closely."


    It wasn''t long after that that we were on the road again. Between Skadi looking like a barbarian queen and me looking like I was fighting my own cloak, and losing, we must have made for quite the sight. Any would-be bandits might very well die of laughter when they saw us.


    The burns on my arm twinging painfully whenever the interior of the cloak brushed against them weren''t helping either, a constant, nagging pain unlike any dream I remembered.


    It all got my inner murderhobo thinking. If I was stuck here, I needed to approach this with a certain candor. I didn''t have a single septim to my name, and somehow I doubted the trick with the bucket would work.


    A plan slowly started to form. I just had to sell it.


    "Is there a mine around these parts, Ralof?" I asked


    "Hmm?" He seemed to give it some thought before he snapped his fingers. "There''s Embershard Mine. Riverwood and Helgen both rely on its iron." His eyes caught mine. "Why do you ask?"


    "It might just be stories, but I heard from some travelers that there was a mine not far from Helgen that had been taken over by bandits." It seemed a reasonable thing to know, and say.


    "Bandits?" Ralof muttered.


    Now to just¡­ "Figured I should at least mention it since you mentioned having family in Riverwood."


    Skadi had a smile like a shark''s on her lips. "How far?"


    Ralof had a more thoughtful look. "An hour or two if we''re quick. It would be bloody work, but I can''t say the thought of bringing Gerdur some good news to go with the bad isn''t appealing."


    "After a dragon, how bad can a few bandits be?" Skadi asked. "A bit of luck and they might run away with their tail between their legs without us having to lift a finger. At worst, after I claim the first head."


    I felt a little impressed at how easily she matched my murderhobo energy, and even exceeded it.


    "We''ll be taking a detour away from the river," Ralof continued after a hum. "Let us quench our thirst first."


    Success! There was supposed to be another spell somewhere in there that I wanted, even if the mechanics here might not work exactly the same¡­


    Ralof had also made the right call, the trek through the hills even making me sweat in the cold. Though maybe that was more because I was trying to keep up with two maniacs I was beginning to suspect were superhuman.


    At least it all kept me too busy to go round and round in circles with existential dread.


    Ralof slinked ahead to take a look when we neared the mine, leaving me with a quietly humming Skadi sharpening her axe with a stone she found. It gave her an almost motherly air, if with a generous helping of murderous intent.


    He crept back after some minutes. "There are sentries. Three near the entrance to the mine and an archer in the trees."


    She grinned. "I''ll catch our archer friend if you want to give those three a surprise."


    "I can think of a few surprises," he replied with a low chuckle, glancing my way. "Good hunting."


    Holding her axe between her teeth, she stalked off in the direction of the trees.


    "They''re sharing stories around a campfire," Ralof continued. "A bit of magic should give them a scare, and then it should be easy pickings."


    I nodded even as my stomach threatened to revolt.


    I was the one who made all this happen. I couldn''t exactly pussy out now.


    Following after him, we were soon peering out of bushes teeming with red berries that smelled sweet and sour at the same time. Focusing on the bandits, it was like he said, two men and a woman.


    The stories they were sharing, the laughter, it all sounded very human. I suddenly remembered the spiders popping like overripe fruit. Would it do the same to them? Maybe I had a heart attack in my sleep?


    And if this wasn''t a dream at all, could I¡ª


    "Russ?" There was that name again. It wasn''t even my name.


    Still, I put my best bloodthirsty smile forward. Skadi had given me more than a few good examples. "Just thinking of the best way to go about this."


    He seemed skeptical, but he didn''t seem inclined to argue.


    I was still digesting everything that had been shoved into my head, but I didn''t need to truly understand why it worked to do it. It didn''t move as fast as actual lightning either, but it didn''t need to. They weren''t expecting it at all.


    There were curses and shouts, and while they didn''t go pop like the spiders, I did see a hand being split almost in half when they tried to shield their eyes, cauterizing just as quickly as it formed.


    The woman quickly made a run for it inside the mine, but Ralof was ready for it, his axe sinking into the back of her skull with an awful sound after a throw. The Stormcloak was almost as much a killing machine as Skadi.


    "In the bushes!"


    They ran at him with their weapons drawn, and he only had a knife in his hands now. My heart was trying to pull a world record with how fast it was beating.


    Fuck it. Even if this wasn''t a dream, these were bandits, right?


    I lashed out again, and again I felt myself being hollowed out. Still, it did much worse to the guy I hit in the back. It was like watching a trainwreck. I couldn''t look away.


    It was really the chainmail he was wearing that fucked him over, the metal turning red hot. He started screaming as it literally cooked him alive, and when he tried to get it off with his hands, his skin sloughed off and he screamed even louder.


    Ralof took ruthless advantage to slit the throat of the last one, leaving the guy clutching at his throat as he drowned in his own blood.


    Wiping the blood off his knife with a cloth, Ralof glanced at the man I had killed and whistled. His skin had turned as black as charcoal.


    I heard footsteps loud enough that they could only be Skadi''s, turning around to find her carrying someone on her shoulder, who she unceremoniously dropped on the ground next to us.


    It was a young girl, though seeing as she obviously wasn''t human, maybe I was wrong about that. Her skin was the color of copper and her eyes a pitch black, even the shape of them alien. Also, her ears were pointy.


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    Her black eyes glanced at the corpses all around her, and she licked her lips nervously, showing sharp teeth. "My cousin would be willing to make a trade for me," she ventured. "Syalleth Light-Fingers. Tell her you have Uurwaen and she will do it, I swear it."


    Skadi snorted. "I didn''t spare your life to make a deal with bandit scum. We''re going to root all of you out."


    "With only the three of you?" There was a slight sneer on her lips. "Antonius will turn you all to ash, and me along with you."


    A smile came to Skadi''s lips. "You can begin with who this Antonius is."


    "A battlemage, a deserter from the Legion. Syalleth convinced him to join up with us. Keeps him happy."


    "The Empire keeps their battlemages under lock and key," Ralof commented doubtfully. "Such a deserter would have had the Imperials swarming into this mine faster than you could say his name."


    "It''s true! He studied at the Imperial College."


    I was knocked out of my funk by a certain someone giving my shoulder a friendly? smack. "We have a mage as well."


    Right. I couldn''t even blame anyone but myself here. After all, my genius self decided not to tell them shit.


    "I thought I was a madman," I snarked. It was more dignified than crying bitch tears.


    And if this was my second life, well, I might be seeing my third life real soon¡­


    "I have yet to find the difference." Skadi turned back on Uurwaen with a chuckle. "You''ll be walking ahead of us. Let''s hope you remember where all the traps are."


    I saw her give a jerky nod in response, only to make a face as Ralof retrieved his axe from where he left it. That being in someone''s skull.


    "Worst comes to worst, an axe to the head seems to do the trick when it comes to battlemages." There was a dark smile on his lips that made me wonder if he was speaking from experience. Then he motioned at the mine. "After you."


    Uurwaen gracefully got back on her feet, though her footsteps were more nervous with Ralof breathing down her neck.


    I was about to follow when I saw Skadi making eyes at something, that being an axe almost as tall as me next to a blackened corpse. I never even noticed he had a weapon.


    "All yours?"


    She rolled her eyes. "It''s your kill. You have to make a gift of it."


    I gave a sigh, picked it up with some effort, and offered it to her. "For you."


    While this one didn''t look like a toy in her hand, she still twirled it without much difficulty. What surprised me was the kiss on the cheek.


    I watched her saunter into the mine after, happy as a bee. What a girl.


    The mine itself was unpleasantly damp, and the air was stale. The metallic veins crisscrossing across the walls were the only thing worth looking at, honestly.


    "Up ahead is where we''ve kept the miners when they aren''t working," Uurwaen commented glumly.


    "You enslaved them?" Ralof asked.


    "Someone had to do the mining. We were on a schedule." She made an annoyed sound. "None of this was my idea. I told her this was too risky, and now there''s talk of dragons. Black Borri swore he saw one as black as his hair flying in Helgen''s direction yesterday, and now he''s dead."


    "Oh, spare me," Skadi spat at her. "You stayed and continued preying upon these men."


    Uurwaen had nothing to say to that.


    We reached the makeshift prison not long after. There was just the one guard, and Skadi swept his head clean off his shoulders with her new axe in a second, the meaty sound of it rolling along the floor louder than it should have been.


    "By the Divines!" one of the men inside shouted hoarsely. "Please, free us! Has the jarl sent you?"


    He was all skin and bones, and I was suddenly reminded of the photographs taken at the concentration camps. I wasn''t feeling all that guilty now.


    "How long has it been?" Ralof asked.


    "I¡­ somewhere between thirty and fifty days, perhaps? We''ve been wasting away as they forced us to mine their damned iron."


    There was a loud clang as Skadi smashed through the lock, the men inside singing our praises as they shambled out.


    "Jarl Siddgeir knew we were here, so we''ve been holding out hope," the guy continued. "The one in charge, she''s a nasty piece of work. Likes to play with her food. Offered Old Addvar his freedom, only to put an arrow through his throat."


    There was a sudden ruckus as Uurwaen decided that was her cue to try and make a run for it.


    Not that she got far before Skadi tackled her like a world-class linebacker, but she didn''t need to as apparently their base of operations was right around the proverbial corner. There were at least seven of them there.


    "Always finding trouble, Uurwaen¡­"


    "I''ll take her head right in front of you!" Skadi shouted back at her.


    I honestly didn''t see that much family resemblance between her and Uurwaen, even if that probably wasn''t what I should be focusing on right now.


    "You''re a big bitch, aren''t you?"


    My fingers twitched as she loosed an arrow, but Skadi didn''t even flinch, using Uurwaen like a human (elf?) shield. Whatever the fuck her name was didn''t seem too sad as her cousin screamed obscenities at them both, an arrow sticking out of her.


    She turned to the smirking man next to her instead. "Offer them our hospitality."


    My hands sparked dangerously, but I wasn''t quick enough. An ungodly amount of fire had suddenly materialized, and again there was the sound of something breaking, but more than once this time.


    I screamed as I felt myself being charbroiled and turned into a human candle a dozen times over, but then I also made it behind cover feeling like my poor heart was about to give out. It hurt my head to think about it, so I didn''t think about it.


    Ralof made it as well, an axe in one hand and a knife in the other. "Not a battlemage," he said with some good cheer.


    "...How can you tell?"


    "We''re not in Sovngarde." I gave him a look but he just laughed. "He''s all yours."


    I found out he wasn''t joking the hard way when he suddenly vaulted over the rocks, laughing even louder as he tumbled under flames so hot I could feel them from here. Did I somehow find the two biggest lunatics in all of Skyrim?


    Maybe some of it had even rubbed off on me, or maybe it was the adrenaline, but I saw that the battlemage or whatever the fuck he was distracted and took my shot. It looked like it was even going to hit, but then he raised his hand and it washed over him harmlessly.


    I ducked again as he returned fire, the rocks I was hiding behind starting to get uncomfortably smoky. He''s all yours. What a fucking joke.


    The Roy Mustang wannabe wasn''t taking a breather either, and somehow I wasn''t coming up with any bright ideas that didn''t end with me getting roasted. But seeing as I was probably about to get roasted anyway, I just went with the best of a bad bunch.


    I was going to see if the best defense really was a good offense.


    Throwing myself to the side, I poured all my frustration into the only spell I knew. And while it did stop him trying to make barbecue out of me, he still just put his hand up again and fucking sneered at me like he was so much better.


    And maybe he was, but I was more spiteful. I kept at it even as I was hollowed out more and more. I lost feeling in my fingers first, but it didn''t stop there, that emptiness creeping deeper and deeper.


    The color also bled out of the world, everything just shades of black and gray. Everything except him. Suddenly he was the only colorful thing in the room.


    No, that wasn''t true. The others were also colorful, but none of them were as colorful as him.


    I felt like I hadn''t eaten in years. I was so empty, and so hungry.


    He also looked fucking terrified, and suddenly he threw some color at me. What could I do but open my mouth wide?


    It was¡­ divine. The sweetest thing I ever tasted, though my realization only seemed to terrify him further.


    Actually, what the fuck was going on? What the fuck was I even eating here? Magic? Magicka?


    I was reminded of those Skittles commercials. Taste the rainbow.


    The more I ate, the more I felt alive. I could breathe again, though I didn''t know when I actually stopped breathing in the first place.


    I still didn''t feel great, but he had stopped feeding me the rainbow, so I reached into my pocket. I almost ate the entire fucking potion, glass and all, but some shred of common sense prevailed and I just drank its contents instead.


    The taste of glue and blue raspberry never tasted so good. I also noticed another flavor. Soap.


    Also, Anthony or Anton or whatever his name was wasn''t sneering anymore. If anything, he was trying to get himself as far away as he could without taking his eyes off me, his back literally against the wall.


    It felt good, but I had to ask. Just what the fuck had he seen?

 Chapter 3 - Oblivion

    With Anthony no longer trying to barbecue me, I took a look around at the complete clusterfuck still going on. And we were winning¡­ maybe.


    Skadi had cornered the big bad bandit queen, though she also managed to catch an arrow with one of her thunder thighs. Not that it seemed to bother her too much as she laughed and swung her new axe around like a demented top. Ralof meanwhile looked more red than blue now with all the gore stuck to him, three corpses at his feet.


    They probably decided he was the safer target, and ended up being turned into a macabre art project.


    I didn''t hesitate this time when I saw one of the bandits trying to slink away. I had seen firsthand what kind of monsters they were, and the people they had been working to death were still back there.


    I could have also made a joke about gingers having no soul anyway, but that would have probably been in poor taste.


    It was still kind of surreal watching the magic lash out and literally bisect him, the two halves of him falling over. Like, fuck, wasn''t it supposed to be one of the most basic bitch spells there was?


    I glanced at Uurwaen, muttering curses under her breath as she stared at the arrow lodged in her shoulder. While I couldn''t do much against her cousin for the very real fear of friendly fire, I could at least make sure that her and Anthony didn''t try anything.


    Skadi seemed to have things well in hand anyway, and Ralof was moving in to assist.


    Uurwaen spat at Anthony when I put them together, but the guy just kept looking at me like I was about to eat him or something, which, you know, I obviously wasn''t going to do.


    The both of them jumped as a head landed in his arms.


    "Figured I should reunite our lovebirds," Skadi commented with a grin, blood splattered across her nose and cheeks.


    Uurwaen understandably panicked as an axe still slick with blood touched her neck. "Wait! Y-You don''t have to! You''ll get more if¡ª"


    "We''re dead anyway," Anthony whispered, staring into the blank eyes of the literal decapitated head. Should I feel bad that it didn''t bother me as much as it should have? "Jarl Siddgier will have us silenced as soon as we''re in his hands."


    "Jarl Siddgeir?" Ralof was watching him closely, wiping some blood off his own axe.


    "Syalleth¡­ she paid him a cut and in return he looked the other way¡­"


    Uurwaen spat at him again. "You''re the one who brokered it!"


    "Are you saying the Jarl of Falkreath is in league with bandit scum?" Skadi asked incredulously.


    Thinking back, I did remember the guy as being extremely sketchy.


    He gave a quiet laugh. "You shouldn''t have even known we were here. We kept the shipments going¡­"


    I felt a quick smooch on my cheek. "You can thank Russ here for that."


    The miserable way he looked at me didn''t make me feel sorry for him, not after the shit he pulled. I just gave him a shit-eating grin back instead.


    "It''s not Falkreath we''re heading to," Ralof admitted. "We''ll take you to Riverwood. You can plead your case to Jarl Balgruuf."


    "We don''t have anything to hold a mage," Skadi commented as she looked over the arrow still sticking out of her thigh.


    There was a glint of something in the Stormcloak''s eye. "I think the Imperial here knows this is his best chance at keeping his head attached to the rest of him."


    Skadi shrugged after a moment. "I suppose it merits some looking into. If it''s true, the good people of Falkreath deserve a jarl who isn''t in league with scum like this."


    "That they do," Ralof agreed quietly.


    "I''ll be taking this back then," she said as she retrieved the head like it wasn''t someone''s head. "It should fetch some septims, at least."


    Next came the favorite pastime of any murderhobo, the looting. We split the septims they had on hand evenly, and I even ''found'' some boots that weren''t one step from falling apart. All nice, but that wasn''t what really put a smile on my face.


    That would be the spellbook I saw with a few other less valuable knick-knacks. One of them must have been something of a hoarder.


    Opening it, the same thing happened as last time, though the sudden migraine wasn''t as bad.


    The way it worked made even less sense to me, but I didn''t need to know how it worked to do it anymore than the Sith lightning. The problem was more that I almost blinded myself trying it out, and it wasn''t hard to figure out why. I had been thinking about magicka, and so it pointed out magicka to me.


    It was fucking everywhere. I needed a better way of testing it.


    Focusing my thoughts on treasure, valuables, something we might have missed, the magic pointed me in the direction of the waterfall.


    "Up to something?" Skadi asked, probably wondering why I was looking around like a hyperactive chipmunk.


    It seemed she had dealt with the arrow as well, only a faint mark left on her left thigh. The miracles of modern medicine, or potions. We had raided Anthony''s stash earlier, which left me with three new vials filled to the brim with blue crack.


    "Magic," I answered mysteriously.


    She raised a very blonde eyebrow, but followed me to the waterfall without much protest, or rather a soft patch of dirt close by. My fingers felt a bit wooden, the spell hollowing me out on the way, but after a bit of digging I produced a small pouch that jingled with coins.


    Not the biggest haul but money was money, and it was a nice bonus on top of my share of the spoils.


    "A useful trick," she commented. "How are you feeling?"


    Her eyes had gotten surprisingly soft, so much so that I wasn''t sure what to say.


    I had studiously avoided going down that rabbit hole so far. I had killed two people, even if they were awful fucking people, but then I was still struggling to believe that any of this was real. Then there was the whole taste the rainbow thing that happened. Yeah, that sure as shit didn''t help my grasp on reality.


    Blegh. I wasn''t going to trauma dump on her. "Fine," I finally answered.


    She gave a soft snort. "I have eyes, Russ. You''re not used to this. Fighting. Killing."


    Well, so much for thinking I got away with it.


    "If we''re going to be traveling together," she continued, "then I would have us be honest with one another."


    ¡­Where would I even start?


    "I guess I''m an open book," I tried to joke instead.


    "You could say that." She looked at her nails like a smug cat. "I also happen to be an excellent judge of character."


    I watched her stalk to the pool of water to wash off the blood still on her. The way she was squatting down to do it though¡­ I should get my mind out of the gutter.


    Ralof was speaking with the miners when we returned. They wanted to stay and wait for the jarl''s men, and if that didn''t work, then making the journey to Falkreath themselves when they were strong enough.


    We had agreed earlier not to tell them about Jarl Siddgeir potentially being a ratfucking bastard so they didn''t meet a mysterious and sudden accident after making it back home.


    We were back on the road again soon after, with two new additions that couldn''t stand one another. We''d also taken some supplies, like the gamey jerky I was chewing on. It could maybe have used a few more spices, but a slightly funky jerky was a whole of a lot better than fuck and all.


    I had a more serious problem on my hands anyway. Boredom. Ralof and Skadi tried to at least liven things up by telling stories, but I could only listen to some variation of ''and then I fucked them up'' so many times before I lost interest. God, I missed the internet.


    All that was left was magic, and I took to it with a zeal born of crippling dopamine withdrawal. First up was figuring out how to at least somewhat modulate how much oomph I put into a spell, kind of important if I didn''t drain myself dry just fucking around.


    Good news, I figured it out.


    Bad news¡­ I might have set my cloak on fire. But I put it out quick enough that only Anthony noticed.


    That gave me the idea to ask him for some tips in a roundabout manner, and thankfully he got the memo and played along. Probably because he was trying to keep me happy so I didn''t eat him, but I wasn''t going to complain.


    I actually wanted to figure out how to get the hang of the ward or whatever it was that he had used against me, but when he started actually explaining it in detail, my eyes kind of just glazed over. What the fuck was a meridian lattice even supposed to be?


    Once the sun that wasn''t a sun set again, the cold returned with a vengeance.


    Helping Ralof get a fire going again with some sparks, he was about to tie our two new friends around a tree together when they complained about the cold. He ended up tying them to himself instead before dozing off next to the campfire as they stared awkwardly.


    He had an impressive ability to not give a fuck that I envied. I was having much more trouble sleeping.


    At least watching Skadi comb her long hair again was something I could do for hours.


    I soon noticed her beckoning me closer with a finger. "Your hair looks like it hasn''t seen a comb in months," she commented.


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    I didn''t protest too much as she proceeded to take her comb to my hair, seeing as she was being uncharacteristically gentle. The real trick, ironically, was staying awake, and it only got harder when she started humming some tune.


    After a while like that, she held the comb out to me with a cheeky smile. "You try."


    It only hit me that she meant her hair when she positioned herself in front of me, pulling back her long strawberry blonde tresses for me. That''s when it hit me through the many layers of irony and sarcasm I had put up as a defense mechanism recently.


    I was beginning to fall for her.


    ¡­


    Man, if this all turned out to be a dream after all, I was going to have a few words with my subconscious.


    Following her example, I pulled the comb through her hair gently, feeling her relaxing more with every pass. Eventually, she just fell back into my arms, almost crushing me. But in a good way.


    Her very blue eyes stared up at mine as we sat under the stars, her hair splayed out like a sunburst.


    If this was a movie then there would have already been people shouting for me to kiss the girl. Not wanting to disappoint my imagined audience, I leaned in to do just that, and she let me.


    What could I say about it? It was nice. Besides the jerky we had both been scarfing down, I could also taste the mint she liked to chew on.


    I pulled back after a moment, not wanting to push my luck, and I found her eyes still closed. Fuck, for being one step removed from a Khornate Berserker, she was fucking adorable.


    We soon cuddled up under my monster of a cloak again, and this time she purposefully smushed my face between her breasts. I, wisely, didn''t fight it, snaking my arm around her waist instead, the feel of her both firm and soft. A guy could get used to this, honestly.


    It wasn''t long until I was dreaming of the tower again, still rising higher and higher.


    Actually, I was surprisingly¡­ conscious? And now that I was thinking about it, I felt myself able to move around somehow. I didn''t have eyes or a body¡­ or anything, honestly.


    It was some ''I have no mouth but I must scream'' shit.


    Still, I''d had so many shocks the past day or two that I just rolled with it. Who needs a body anyway? Not this guy!


    I left the tower and the sound behind, out into blackness that seemed to go on forever. There was something like a sky, but all around, a thin sheen surrounding the blackness. It was made up of so many colors that it would probably take me days to make them all out, but it looked just like the magicka I remembered seeing. Just¡­ much more of it. So much more.


    The longer I explored, the more I was able to make out. The seemingly endless blackness was more like a mirage, and I could make some things out if I focused, oceans and deserts and a thousand other things.


    The creepiest thing was the feeling that everything was looking back at me as I looked at it. If I had a body, I might have had goosebumps.


    There was also something kind of at the center of everything, a thing of solid gold, but when I looked at it, it shifted. And it kept shifting, routinely and repetitively. Like clockwork. It was the only constant I could see.


    I only got close enough to see that it was something that looked vaguely like a dragon. No way was I picking a fight with that.


    I continued my adventure, seeing so many wondrous things, and those things giving me the side-eye like I was the creepy uncle at Thanksgiving. I''m not sure how long I kept at it, my sense of time all out of whack, but seeing something that somewhat resembled the sky, I finally dared to get closer.


    It was beautiful, individual grains of sand and water droplets each a different color, and the closer I dared to get, the more alive I felt. Suddenly I had lungs that let me breathe in the scents of a thousand flowers and ears to hear the sounds of birds.


    I still felt something watching me, however. The feeling was even harder to ignore now.


    "So the Abomination sees fit to visit me."


    I stopped, the words being spoken to me from everywhere at once. It was a beautiful voice, melodious, but also dripping with disgust and discontent.


    I watched as the colors slowly coalesced, revealing a woman with wings that burned with all the colors I had seen, and a sword just as colorful, the light refracting in ways that seemed impossible.


    "You are unpleasant to look upon," she harshly said.


    I scratched at the tip of my nose awkwardly. I couldn''t say the same, she was fucking beautiful, but I wasn''t going to say that when she was being so rude.


    I also ventured a guess. "Meridia."


    Her own nose scrunched in displeasure. "It is even less pleasant to hear my name from you."


    I put a little bite in my words next, crossing my arms. "Should I have said Merid-Nunda instead?"


    She somehow got even more pissy, brandishing her sword. "Speak that name again and I shall skewer the puppet you speak through and burn it from my realm. I am Merid-Nunda no longer."


    That she was threatening it and not doing it told me a few things. And a Daedric Prince of all things calling me an abomination? Funny.


    "Merid-Nunda," I said again, a smile on my lips. "I think it''s a pretty name."


    It was fucking crazy, taunting her, but backing down might have made it more likely that she skewered me with that shiny sword of hers, not less.


    A few very suspenseful moments passed, but then the harshness of her light receded slightly, revealing a very sour expression. "Why have you come, Abomination?"


    My smile widened. There was something exhilarating about playing a game of chicken with a Daedric Prince.


    "You know, it''s not nice to go around calling people abominations. Where are your manners?"


    The colors fluctuated as she stared at me. "There is no truer word for what you are, a thing that''s painted on itself a thin veneer of form and substance." She sneered at me as she edged closer on her wings. "Look beneath that and you are revealed for the empty thing you are."


    Putting aside all the new questions her words gave me¡­ "Have I hurt you? Harmed you in some way?"


    "I ask again," she grumped after another pause. "Why have you come?"


    "You caught my attention with how colorful you are. No other reason, really." It was the honest truth.


    Still, she sent me a look bordering on the incredulous. "You have disturbed me for so petty a reason?"


    I shrugged my shoulders helplessly. "Would you rather I lied and told you it was for some dark and nefarious purpose?"


    Alright, maybe I was having too much fun with this¡­


    "Yes," she answered immediately. "At least it would fit your nature."


    "I thought I was an empty thing? That sounds like it would take some substance," I snarked.


    I stepped closer to her this time, ignoring the fact that I was naked. Besides, with how sheer her gown was, she might as well be naked with me.


    "You''d really prefer an enemy when you could make a friend?" I continued. "And to think you called me petty, Meridia."


    She must have noticed me looking as well, her gown suddenly more opaque, her pointy nipples no longer poking through. Boo.


    I was tempted to poke fun at that as well when she gave a haughty sniff. "I am not so grand a fool as to think a thing like you could ever be a friend to me."


    I opened my arms wide. "Then smite me. Isn''t that what you do to enemies? I won''t stop you."


    Her eyes like a thousand gemstones found mine, the colors of her sword burning harsher again. She turned away after a moment, though I could still feel her watching me.


    "Another trick. Even if I were to smite your false puppet of flesh, the thing that you are will remain. I would not see myself sullied even further by your presence."


    I had a funny thought while she was waxing poetic like she was on Broadway. I was going to give myself a fetch quest. "I suppose I can''t expect you to just take my word for it. How about I help you?"


    Meridia scoffed with a haughtiness the most spoiled princess in all the world would struggle to match. "Help me?"


    "Not here. On Mundus. There''s a necromancer skulking around your temple, no? Who''s actually defiled something of yours, unlike yours truly."


    Her wings twitched and she turned back around, gemstone eyes burning into mine. "What use would my favor be to a thing like you?"


    I couldn''t help a small sigh. "Maybe not being called a thing for a start? Just a thought."


    "Hmph." She made a show of looking away again. "Seek out Malkoran if you wish, or don''t. Now go."


    "I guess that could pass as cordial."


    Something gave me a surprisingly gentle push in response, and decided I probably shouldn''t overstay my welcome than I already have, so I left, my body going poof as the colors bled out into that false blackness again.


    I returned back to my? tower. I didn''t actually know if it was mine or what it was doing, but it''s the only place I didn''t feel eyes on me.


    I would have sighed again if I could, but no lungs. I somehow had even more questions now, and still no answers.


    Pretending to sigh instead, I listened to that sound and watched the tower rise again, waiting to wake up.

 Chapter 4 - The Mountain

    "Russ," I heard someone whisper softly. Already I was beginning to respond to it as if it was actually my name.


    Skadi was giving me a funny smile when I opened an eye blearily. "What?"


    "You were mumbling nonsense in your sleep."


    Right. I probably shouldn''t mention I had a chat with a Daedric Prince¡­


    I smushed my face between my makeshift pillows again instead, sighing happily. It made everything else easier to swallow.


    "Like them that much?" She didn''t sound unhappy, her fingers playing with my hair.


    "Yes."


    She chuckled softly, and after a short pause¡­ "Want to see them?"


    I pulled back slightly to give her a look. She might as well ask if the sky was blue while she was at it.


    Shifting slightly, she pulled the cloak higher as she gave what passed for her armor a tug. Proportionally to her they weren''t anything to write home about, but compared to me¡­ yeah. God, they were soft.


    I smothered my face into the complete package this time. It was an excellent way to spend the morning.


    We all shared a quick breakfast after, some more grumpily than others, and soon we were back on the road again. It was doing wonders for my cardio.


    Skadi stuck closer to me this time, and what a pair we made, an abomination and a dragon. I was tempted to tell her what I suspected, but the Greybeards might never forgive me if I ruined their moment.


    I also wasn''t trying to think too hard about whatever Anthony over there saw or what insults said Daedric Prince had thrown at me. I felt alive right now, my heart beating, my lungs taking air in and out. That was good enough.


    "We should reach Riverwood not long after the sun sets," Ralof commented, glancing at the sky.


    "Joy," Uurwaen muttered.


    Skadi poked her cheek, annoying the short and spunky bandit further.


    "It will be nice to see a bed again, I suppose." Her eyes caught mine when she said it, a mischievous sparkle in them.


    If she was trying to give me ideas¡­ well, it was working.


    Ralof''s words proved prophetic, as we did indeed reach Riverwood soon after the sun dipped below the horizon. It wasn''t the tiny thing I remembered, just like Helgen hadn''t been. Instead it sprawled across both sides of the river.


    The blacksmith was at least familiar, and opposite it was the Riverwood Trader, or so the sign outside said.


    "I should get these two to the guard safe and sound." The Stormcloak then pointed out one of the houses to Skadi and me. "My sister is there. We can break our fast in the morning, say our farewells. I''ll be leaving for Windhelm at noon, so if you want your cut, don''t be late."


    "Here." She threw the sack with a certain someone''s head at him, and he caught it without much difficulty. "I think they''ll understand if we left the rest of her to rot."


    Ralof smiled like a wolf might, whistling a tune as he pulled the two after him, or just Uurwaen, really. Anthony seemed only too happy to get away from me, probably counting his lucky stars that I didn''t eat him.


    "We''ve coin enough to rent a good room for the night thanks to our bandit friends," Skadi commented, sporting a coy smile now. "But not yet, I think. All that walking¡­ it''s got me nice and warmed up. We should spar."


    I tried not to look like a deer about to meet a truck, but¡­


    "Don''t give me that look. Look at it like this instead." Her very blue eyes smoldered as she leaned in. "How much you impress me will decide what happens in that room tonight."


    She really knew how to motivate a man. Or send them running for the hills, but potayto, potahto.


    "You''re on." Her smile had brightened when I hit the proverbial brakes. "Though it''s hardly fair if you''re the only one in armor. Fortunately¡­" I pointed out the Riverwood Trader behind her.


    She gave it a glance before giving a dismissive sniff. "I could make you some."


    I tried not to hurt her feelings or stare at the hot mess her armor was. "I thought you wanted to¡ª"


    "Fine. Have it your way." Her good cheer returned quickly as she gave me another smooch on the cheek. "I''ll find us a room before all the best ones are taken."


    I watched her saunter off after. Yeah, I was going to climb that mountain even if it killed me.


    Also, I was lying through my teeth about armor. Instead I was going to raid that shop for every spell they had.


    Barging inside, I eyed up the olive-skinned man grumbling about a claw under his breath. I had bigger fish to fry than another fetch quest though, so¡­


    "I''m in the market for some magic."


    He nodded along slowly. "I have a number of potions and enchanted goods if that is what you mean."


    What the fuck were they called again? "I meant¡­ spell tomes?"


    He pinched his chin thoughtfully. "I have a few books lying around somewhere."


    "I''ll take them!" Wait, I should probably haggle if I didn''t want to get ripped off. "Of course, I''ll want a discount for taking them all off your hands."


    His dark eyes gave me a dull look. "Can''t I interest you in something else? You can have them all if you spend more than a hundred septims."


    I was beginning to think that we were not in fact on the same page here. Still¡­


    "You mentioned potions and enchanted goods?"


    "The finest you''ll find in Riverwood!" Suddenly he was much more animated. "Have a look."


    He slid a piece of parchment over like it was a menu. Hmm¡­


    "I''ll take a few potions." I pointed out which ones. "And these bracelets." Three in total. They were inexpensive, and the enchantments, while minor, seemed useful.


    One of them was supposed to help protect against the elements, while another was supposed to speed up the healing of smaller cuts and bruises. The last one supposedly helped with stamina.


    It all would have sounded like snake oil back home, but when in Rome¡­


    He tallied it all up quickly with what looked like an abacus. "That will be two hundred and thirty-three septims."


    I also found out something interesting after he panicked at my suddenly dropping hundreds of septims on his counter. Apparently you could fuse them into groupings of ten or a hundred. Neat.


    He also handed over the books like he promised he would, but, yeah, I had no idea what was what. The best I could do was go by the convoluted titles and symbolism, which left me with three on destruction, one on restoration, two on conjuration, two on alteration and one on illusion. There were also two more that I gave up on trying to figure out.


    "Two potions short," I heard someone mutter. "If you''re not in a hurry, I can speak to Brenna and see if I can get part of this month''s shipment early."


    I looked up from my hoard of books. "That''s fine." He gave me another funny look before skedaddling.


    Anyway, seeing as my odds of being stabbed or worse were very high in this death world¡­


    There was only a small blossom of pain in my head as I cracked open the one and only book on restoration. Shifting my cloak aside after, my hand seemed to fill with light, and I pressed it to the burns that had been a pain in the ass all this time.


    I was hollower for it, but it gave me so much relief that I didn''t care.


    Next was alteration. I still wasn''t quite sure what a meridian lattice was or how it worked, but¡­


    Blegh. I hoped I could get away with a repeat, but no, it was a pounding headache that followed. A bad one.


    I could at least turn my flesh to wood or stone now. Even metal, though I couldn''t be sure as to how much magicka that would take. It would be useless if it hollowed me out completely.


    I stared at the rest of the books with conflicted eyes. In the end, masochism prevailed.


    Cracking open the more straightforward of the three books on destruction, my pounding headache worsened, though only slightly. In return, I figured out how to¡­ hm, it was something like manipulating thermodynamics, maybe? Honestly, I wasn''t a physicist, and this wasn''t physics. I already knew how to produce and manipulate energy in a destructive way, and this was just a more combust-y way of doing it.


    Ah, and I could also take it away now. Zap. Roast. Freeze.


    There were eight left. I couldn''t resist one more, the chance to see a Flame Atronach in the flesh (kind of) too tempting. I¡ª


    My mind had blanked with how much that sucked, leaving me hunched over the counter. Like my brain had swelled too much for my skull.


    And for what? No Flame Atronach, only how to conjure a familiar. Lame.


    A more feminine voice interrupted my pity party. "Are you alright?"


    I hesitantly opened my eyes, finding a dusky-skinned beauty with black curls that fell to her shoulders. Camilla, probably. "Peachy."


    I could see why she had a whole love triangle around her.


    "If you''re waiting on Lucan¡­" She stalked closer, looking me over. "You look like you could use a change of clothes. Something more suited to Skyrim."


    Well, she wasn''t wrong. If not for the cloak Skadi made me, the only thing I was dressed for was a pillow fight. She did also say I''d still need to get it cured, whatever that meant.


    I told Camilla as much, a glint in her dark eyes now that reminded me of her brother.


    "I can have that done overnight for ten septims. Thirty-five for the clothes, seventy-five if you want my best materials."


    I still had a good three hundred or so left over, so¡­ "How about eighty for both?"


    "Done." Bah. With how easily she agreed, maybe I should have haggled her down lower. "Come upstairs. I''ll take your measurements there."


    Following her, I let her get to work without too much fuss, leaving the cloak where she asked me to.


    "I always tell Lucan that we should expand our business, but he always finds some reason to turn me down." Her fingers trailed along my arms. Was I imagining it or were they more impressive? "Maybe I should threaten to leave for Solitude. That would show him."


    I nodded along blandly, my head still pounding unpleasantly. Not like she needed life advice from me.


    If I closed my eyes, I could even pretend I was back home, getting my measurements taken for a wedding. Would have been a bad look to go in shorts and sandals.


    Though seeing as they broke up not even two years later, maybe I should have.


    "I just need to make some adjustments," I heard.


    After waiting and then changing behind a colorful sheet she put up, I looked myself over. When she said best materials, she meant furs. Lots of them. I looked like I stepped out of a Conan the Barbarian comicbook.


    "Like it?"


    "I do." It felt surprisingly soft as well.


    Handing over eight fused coins, she smiled and reminded me to return in the morning for my cloak.


    I still found myself waiting for her brother to return, but eventually I left the Riverwood Trader a new man. Stashing all seven of my potions into new pockets, I soon made the mistake of trying to put one of the heavy copper bracelets on.


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    Why? Because my arm decided to fucking chow down on it.


    I stared at it incredulously, but it just¡­ you know, looked like my arm. Although how cozy I felt after I put it on hadn''t gone away¡­


    I slowly digested that while flexing my hand. So I could eat enchantments now; it wasn''t anything stranger than opening my mouth wide and tasting the rainbow, so to say.


    I let the same happen to the other two bracelets, and by then the pounding headache had reduced to something more manageable. If anything¡­ I felt fucking good.


    Though where was she? If I was going to get my ass beat by a dragon, she had to actually be around. It didn''t take that long to rent a room for the night, yeah?


    Wandering around for a time, I found the Sleeping Giant Inn. The smells inside had my stomach grumbling, a heady mix of smoke and meat and roasted potatoes. Also alcohol. I thought about grabbing a bite to eat, but it would probably be smarter to do this on an empty stomach.


    Instead I asked Delphine about my missing giantess. The older woman with braided ash blonde hair and piercing green eyes like an angry cat stared at me, but eventually she pointed out a room.


    I wasn''t her biggest fan, but I wasn''t going to pick a fight. A certain someone might get annoyed if someone else beat her to the punch.


    I knocked on the door so as not to get intimate with an axe for barging in unannounced. "It''s me." Hearing her tell me to come inside, I was suddenly (and not unhappily) greeted with Skadi in her birthday suit, a bowl of something blue in her hand.


    Noticing my eyes, she only smiled and stretched out, flexible as a cat. Actually, what was with me and cat metaphors today?


    I also couldn''t help noticing that she was soft in all the right places either. Also the very blonde bush.


    "Close the door. I don''t want everyone seeing."


    Right. The door. I knew how to operate a door¡­


    I turned back around to find her looking me over appreciatively. "You almost have the look of a proper Nord now."


    I tried to play it cool. "Not shy, are you?"


    Her smile turned more coy. "Should I be? I think I like it when you look at me like that."


    I watched as she went back to painting her statuesque body with the paste. The faded blue lines I''d previously noticed crisscrossing across her¡­ I''d assumed they were just old tattoos.


    "Never seen woad, Russ?" she teased.


    I vaguely remembered Braveheart, maybe. But this was just a friendly spar¡­ right?


    I watched as she suddenly stirred herself into action, standing and turning around, her long blonde hair almost reaching her waist. "Mind lending a helping hand? Quicker that way."


    My eyes struggled to look away from the sight before me, but I managed, taking the bowl.


    "You can follow the lines already there," she added.


    Yeah, I''d already figured out that much¡­


    Dipping my fingers in the paste or paint, I got to work. I didn''t want to give her any reason to complain, but it wasn''t easy with that almost staring me in the face.


    I remembered thinking she had an impressive backside when she was carrying me like a sack of potatoes, but seeing it in the flesh was something else. With how tall she already was and her long legs, it went well above my own waist.


    "And done." Somehow I had kept to the lines, but now I couldn''t resist. I gave one of her cheeks a satisfying swat, producing a sound that broke the quiet of the room.


    If I would die, it would be with a dumb smile on my face as I watched it shake slightly.


    Instead she just looked back down at me with a smirk on her lips. "Just keep what I said in mind, Russ." I watched her turn around and take the bowl from my hands. "It''s rare I get to fight a mage. I don''t want it to be over in the span of a few breaths."


    "Who said you''ll even win?" I shot back, and she loved it going by how big her smile got.


    She leaned in closer to me, the action doing wonderful things to her¡­ assets. "Hold that fighting spirit close." Then she pressed a kiss to my lips before carefully placing her armor back on.


    There was something about a girl like that being all loveydovey that hit me right in the feels, even if she was about to hit me everywhere else as well.


    We soon slipped back outside the inn and then out of town, heading into the forest. With the skip in her step you''d think we were going for a picnic. Meanwhile I was desperately brainstorming some kind of strategy that wouldn''t get me rolled over like everyone else I''d seen go up against her.


    She eventually stopped in the middle of a clearing, this world''s twin moons illuminating it.


    "There''s enough potions to not hold back," she commented, playfully spinning the massive axe I gifted her.


    I thumped a fist into my chest, my flesh hardening into something like wood. It should at least help.


    "On three?" I asked, and she agreed. I had seen how fast she could move, so the advantage of distance wasn''t going to matter past maybe the first few seconds.


    Her steps were like thunder as she moved immediately after the count was complete. First, make her duck, and to do that¡­


    Well, shit. I honestly wasn''t expecting her to just barrel right through it, the false lightning sliding harmlessly around her. The woad or whatever was also shimmering faintly.


    Suddenly her walking around with fuck-all for armor made a lot more sense.


    My plan in tatters, I went with the first thing that came to mind. Which in this case meant icing all the ground in front of me. If she tripped or stumbled, I at least wouldn''t be eating her axe.


    ¡­Instead she had surfed the ice like it was nothing, and I was about to see just how much damage I could take. It was almost anticlimactic watching her ruthlessly jamming her axe into my shoulder.


    Good news: Her axe got stuck just like if she had jammed it in a tree.


    Bad news: I had a fucking axe stuck in my shoulder. Even with me being more tree than man now, it still fucking hurt.


    It didn''t seem to give her that much pause either, as one of her powerful legs quickly sent me into an actual tree, making it hard to breathe. The sheer force of it had also dislodged the axe.


    Skadi approached slowly, a disappointed pout on her lips, but when I put a shiny hand to my shoulder, my wooden flesh knitting itself back together, she was suddenly as happy as a bee.


    Still, I was fresh out of ideas. I only had so much magicka to burn, and already I was beginning to feel hollow.


    Maybe¡­ Maybe I needed to turn this into a two-against-one? I had figured out how to conjure a familiar earlier, and a wolf might be able to do some damage.


    Distracting her with some fire, I sacrificed the magicka necessary to do it.


    The first thing I heard was a squawking laughter, a deeply unpleasant sound. After I heard it again, closer, I realized why it sounded familiar. It was a kookaburra''s laughter like I heard at a zoo once.


    We both turned to look at it. It was like something out of a nightmare.


    It had two faces, though maybe it would be more correct to say it had two mouths, a grotesquely oversized beak for one, and beneath it a maw full of jagged teeth that seemed to go on forever.


    What was it Meridia had named me? Right. Abomination.


    I watched as it shambled surprisingly quickly at Skadi, its legs like a chicken''s in all the worst ways, and it lashed out with claws as well as talons. She reacted quickly to her credit, but it had too many limbs, and some of them made its way past her guard.


    Her woad bullshit was still in effect, however, and it squawked as it failed to make contact.


    I shook myself out of my funk. The fight was still on.


    In a bid to help the thing, I covered the ground in frost hoping to fuck her mobility, and it seemed to work. As more ice slithered up her legs, my monster took advantage to slam its many limbs against her again and again, until finally some of them got through, raking against her flesh painfully.


    What I didn''t expect was her suddenly grabbing it by one of its malformed wings and throwing it at me with enough force to make me feel like a fucking bowling pin.


    Rattled, I looked back just in time to see her hack the last bit of ice away with her axe and thunder at me again.


    She was just too much, and in the next moment she plowed her axe through my crime against nature. Except it started glitching out like something out of a video game, its squawking laughter even more disturbing as it lashed out again.


    I took advantage to create some distance, but it was getting harder to move, what scraps of magicka I had left more like embers than the bonfire it was. I iced the ground again as the thing fell apart completely under her hacking blows.


    Soon, she turned back to me, a bit of frost on her cheeks and a triumphant grin.


    As her long legs stirred her forward again, looking almost like she was gliding along the ground, I knew it was over. I didn''t want her to look at me like the monstrosity I''d just thrown at her, and so I took out my axe and matched her energy.


    Yeah, I got run over, but I must have looked really fucking cool for a split second throwing myself at her.


    Straddling me now, she looked down with eyes that were almost playful. "Should I ask what that thing was?"


    I scratched the tip of my nose innocently. "A magician never reveals his secrets."


    She gave a soft snort, but stayed glued to my hips. The shimmering lines of blue that streaked across her had dimmed slightly, red blood seeping from a dozen smaller wounds.


    Not that she seemed to pay it much mind, a funny little smile on her lips now.


    "You know how to take a hit." Her nails pulled at my skin, but she couldn''t find much purchase. I couldn''t help but groan as she rocked her hips however, leveraging her considerable weight. "It seems you can still feel just fine," she teased.


    "I think you''re just that heavy," I hit back, my fingers copping a feel of her hefty thighs.


    In revenge, she fell on top of me completely, pressing a kiss to my jaw and then my lips. To die like this would not be the worst thing, I decided.


    After one last kiss, she heaved herself off, standing. "As much fun as it would be to play in the dirt, we do have a bed waiting for us." I took her offered hand, though I pulled her back before she pulled me along back to Riverwood.


    Scarfing down one of my potions, I hummed with satisfaction as that hollowness ebbed. Who knew soap and glue could taste so good.


    I soon put my shiny hands to work on her injuries, my fingers trailing across her skin, maybe lingering over her sculpted abdomen more than strictly necessary. Still, with how she bit her lip, it didn''t seem she was against it. "Does that bring my final tally up?"


    "Mmm. I''ll think about it."


    We made the trek back to Riverwood holding hands.

 Chapter 5 - The Peak

    It was late when we crept back into the inn, maybe past midnight. There were still a handful of others quietly trading conversation around the fireplace, but that was it.


    I noticed Delphine had vanished as well when Skadi dragged me inside the room.


    She wasted no time falling back on the fat bed and making a happy sound. "Worth a few more septims, isn''t it?"


    I didn''t mind having to snuggle up under a cloak with her, but the actual sleeping on the ground part of it? Yeah, I wasn''t going to try and pretend that didn''t that suck. Especially since a pebble kept finding its way under me somehow¡­


    "I didn''t think a Nord would have such expensive tastes." It was almost uncanny how comfortable we were around one another now. Made it hard to remember that she was the very essence of a murderhobo, especially when she smiled at me like that.


    "We Nords can enjoy the finer things in life as well," she argued, another soft sigh leaving her lips as she tangled her fingers in the sheets. "Now be a man and undress me."


    I might have been tired and sore myself, but somehow I found the motivation to lend her a helping hand.


    Although now that I was taking my time, I couldn''t help noticing some of her scars. They only supported her whole vibe though, and soon all that was adorning her was her scars and the woad.


    The way she proceeded to stretch out on the bed was obviously calculated, designed to draw me closer to her like a moth to a flame. Or more likely I was just being overly dramatic.


    "And how well did I do?" I finally asked.


    Skadi looked at her nails. "I''m still deciding."


    "Is this where you cruelly reveal I have to beat you first?" That''s usually how it went.


    She snorted. "That would be the same as never." She said it so matter of fact, too.


    Hmph. "Pride goes before a fall," I told her. Intellectually, I knew that if it felt like a Herculean task now that it would be something of a comedy once she figured out how to shout someone into the stratosphere.


    Though the irreverent way she raised her brow told me that she probably didn''t see humility as a virtue.


    "I think it''s my turn to have a look at you," she said instead.


    The hungry way she was looking at me now¡­ yeah, never had a girl look at me quite like that. I wasn''t sure whether to put it down as her being a Nord or her being a dragon.


    Either way, I was going to fight fire with fire. "Come return the favor then."


    It didn''t even get a blush from her as she quickly stood, stalking forward in all her glory.


    I didn''t begrudge her lingering on my muscles as she went about it, but¡­ hm. I really was more fit than I remembered, and it had only been a few days¡­


    I groaned suddenly as her hand found a good grip on a certain something. "I''ve half a thought to throw you on the bed and ride you until my hips give out," she husked. I didn''t comment that my own hips would probably have turned to dust first. "And yet, you did impress me." Her eyes were somehow intense and playful at the same time." How do you want me?"


    How didn''t I want her? Though I should be smart about this if I wanted to be able to stand tomorrow¡­


    "On your belly?"


    "You don''t sound too sure," she teased, hand still toying with a part of me that was as hard as rebar now.


    "How else am I going to pull on your hair again?" Smooth.


    Her very blue eyes flashed, but she was true to her word, lying down on her belly, her strawberry blonde hair spreading out behind her.


    My fingers twitched nervously as I stared. I didn''t want to fuck this up, but how much more of an invitation could she give me?


    I stirred myself closer, gently shifting her hair to the side to get a better look. Her body really was a work of art.


    I told her as much.


    "Trying to butter me up?" The smug way she said it told me she liked it.


    My eyes were dragged lower to two ivory cheeks, one of my hands making the journey south to sink into one of them. I could feel the muscle as she flexed instinctively, but there was still plenty of give. I could tell that much by giving them another swat, watching the wobble with a dumb smile.


    I could see her watching me out of the corner of her eyes as she hugged a pillow to herself.


    My everything was telling me to get on with it now, but I didn''t want to rush when I didn''t need to. I wanted to savor it, savor her. I''d been thinking about it since I first saw her.


    I saw goosebumps appear as I lightly trailed my fingers down across her cheeks and the back of her thighs. There was just so much of her.


    Skadi hummed under her breath as I spread her slightly, seeing the wetness there. She proceeded to shift her long legs apart as my hand finally cupped her pussy.


    I was going to see if I could make her cum her brains out.


    "Are you going to keep teasing me?" she huffed out. "Get that thing between your legs inside me."


    "Trust in the process," I told her. She then gasped as two of my fingers penetrated her, how hot and wet and tight she was already testing my patience.


    Though with her physique, I shouldn''t be surprised that it would be a tight fit. She could crush a watermelon between her thighs as easy as she breathed.


    I found a nice rhythm quickly, a sloppy schlicking sound that was joined by her breathy gasps and groans. After that, I leveraged my other hand under her belly, my fingers tangling in her bush. Then I found her button and applied just the right amount of pressure.


    The way she somehow tightened up even more told me a few things, namely to keep going.


    Soon she started squirming, her legs thumping on the bed as she buried her face in her pillow, cheeks and neck flushed red. She was close.


    Finally, I heard the pillow she had been womanhandling tear slightly as she came, and a few colorful words followed as she rode it out. Getting a girl like her to fall apart was exactly as fun as I hoped.


    As her breathing settled, I pulled back my slick fingers. "I see you liked it."


    Skadi turned her head to the side again, her cheeks still flushed an attractive red. "I think you''ll be doing that every night," she informed me.


    "Every night? A bit greedy, no?"


    "I deserve it," she argued.


    I couldn''t help a chuckle at her ego.


    She stirred slightly as I straddled her hefty thighs, feeling something like a mountaineer. I was too pent up to tease her, so I just lined myself up with her pussy, feeling the slickness gracing the tip, and pushed.


    "Aghhh¡­" she breathed out. "Finally."


    I gathered her long hair together and gave it a tug just like I said I would, drawing a funny sound from her. Though maybe I should have waited as she tightened up so much that I got stuck at the halfway mark.


    When she relaxed, I wrapped my other arm around her belly for leverage and slammed my hips forward, quickly meeting her cheeks with a satisfying thwack.


    "Ooo¡­" She rolled her own hips slightly, her pussy trying to strangle the life right out of me.


    I would not be so easily beaten, so pushing my muscles to their limit, I started rocking myself in and out of her, those sloppy sounds making a comeback as I leveraged my hand under her toy with her button again.


    I loved the sounds that left her other lips just as much, all of them from the bottom of her throat. I made sure to give her makeshift ponytail a good pull every few strokes to encourage her, trying to lay claim to every part of her.


    That''s around the time I noticed something stranger, my body churning and changing to fill more of her, or trying to.


    There was something holding it together, and maybe that was a good thing. Somehow I doubted she would appreciate me turning into Cthulhu on her mid act.


    When I felt her bringing her legs back together, I knew it was over. I was already on the brink, and her suddenly becoming even tighter¡­


    There was still a thought in the back of my head about the lack of protection, but she obviously knew that as well and still let me.


    "I feel it twitching," she groaned out, the pillow in her hands pulling apart at the seams.


    The giantess huffing and puffing under me wasn''t wrong. At my limit, I buried myself inside her completely and probably made some very stupid sounds as I emptied my balls.


    Which was quite a bit, as she soon informed me.


    Seriously, even if this was a dream, why the fuck would I want to wake up now? This was so much more satisfying than the daily grind. I could stay like this forever, balls-deep in the perfect girl.


    "In the mornings also, I think," I heard her mumble as she squirmed underneath me.


    I sighed as I pulled out messily and fell on my back. She turned on her side to watch me, one of her hands going between her legs to take a peek at all the white I left in her.


    "It''s a good thing I bought some herbs to deal with that as well," she continued. Her eyes caught on my deeply satisfied member. "Though I could still do with a ride."


    "You''re insatiable," I accused.


    "I always had a healthy appetite." Her nails trailed down my belly. "You''ll like it. I''ll do all the work."


    My hand moved to heft one of her tits. "Drape them on my face. That might do the trick."


    I was half joking, but then she went and did just that, mounting me and dropping them on my face. Then she reverse motorboated me for good measure. Yeah, this was the life.


    It wasn''t long until she had me standing at attention again, poking between her blonde curls.


    Skadi gave a happy hum when she noticed, retreating and lifting herself up using only her thighs. And then the drop. It was so sudden and hit with such meaty force that the bed creaked and a grunt was forced out of me.


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    She was fucking heavy. That wasn''t me complaining either, but a statement of fact.


    I watched it all almost like a trainwreck as she dropped again and again and again, each time making the poor bed beneath us creak and groan louder than either of us. And then she sped up, intent on milking another load with her vice of a pussy.


    It was at the same time one of the hottest and scariest experiences of my life. I prayed for my hips.


    The inevitable inevitably happened, that being the bed''s supports giving one final creaking groan before they collapsed, taking us both down with them. This girl¡­


    Still, she seemed happy despite the state of the bed, giggling like a schoolgirl again and leaning in to kiss me. She then decided I should be the big spoon tonight, wrapping my arm around her and nestling what was left of my masculine pride between her cheeks.


    It was nice, but if she really expected this morning and night, I was going to need more potions. Or maybe heading back to the Riverwood Trader and grabbing every bracelet they had.


    Exhausted, I slowly felt the Sandman''s pull, but this time whatever delay or transition never happened.


    One moment I was contemplating the weakness of the flesh, and the next I had no flesh, all the tired satisfaction sucked out of me. There was only the tower.


    I wasn''t really sure what to make of it all. Not clueless, I had even read something of a certain someone''s LSD-fueled ramblings, and supposedly everything was actually a dream in a similar vein to the Blind Idiot God, Azathoth. Or in this case, the Godhead.


    If I took that at face value, I would be a dreamer in a dream¡­ that was dreaming. Assuming this even counted as dreaming¡­


    Anyway, continuing with that thought, this was Oblivion, the rainbow all around the edges was Aetherius, and that shifting dragon vaguely around the center was probably Akatosh. It''s the tower I was stumped on.


    There were towers that supposedly helped keep things stable on Mundus, but that was Mundus. Mundus being where I was currently in bed with a cleverly disguised dragon, which would make her related to Akatosh or a part of Akatosh or whatever.


    With no idea what the tower was doing, and even less idea about what I was doing here, I was stumped. There was also the whole giving a Daedric Prince the ick, conjuring a crime against nature, and the list went on.


    I was sure there was a fascinating explanation for all of it, but right now it was just a drag thinking myself in circles.


    I could go bug another Daedric Prince about it, maybe, but that might just come across as picking a fight with how unhinged most of them were¡­


    And so, having cleverly convinced myself into doing nothing, I waited to wake up next to Skadi again. I might still be figuring her out, but fighting, fooling around, banter, that all made sense to me.


    When it did happen, there again wasn''t anything to mark the transition. Even more creepy was that I could still see the tower and hear the sound if I so much as thought about it. So I didn''t.


    Instead I focused on not sneezing as her hair tickled my nose, not wanting to wake her up with how cutely she was snoring. It also let me just enjoy the atmosphere for a time, my fingers softly tickling her belly.


    That might have been what woke her up in the end, as she caught my hand and interlocked our fingers. It was pure bliss.


    Turning around after a time, the unhappy creaking must have reminded her what she did to Bed-kun. Left him in ruins.


    "We will make our escape early," she whispered. "A few septims extra for the bed should do it."


    "What, don''t want to tell the story of Skadi, Breaker of Beds?" She certainly hadn''t been shy about sharing more grisly stories earlier.


    "It''s not a story worth telling if it wasn''t done with intention!"


    I nodded sagely. "I see. You''ll have to do it on purpose next time."


    She decided to shut me up with a kiss, but my work was already done. I watched her stand after, the sunlight streaming in from the window dancing across her form.


    She hummed as she looked herself over, and then she retrieved that bowl again from somewhere. She held it out to me. "Your monster made a mess."


    I gave a lazy smile from the bed. "You might pick up a bad habit if I keep doing it." The pout she gave me¡­ well, I had to after that.


    As I went about applying the woad over the parts that seemed to have faded again, I couldn''t help some curiosity.


    "How does it work?"


    A sly smile showed on her lips as she threw my words back at me. "A Nord never reveals her secrets." I tried a pout of my own, but she stood firm in its face. "Maybe I''ll show you one day if you keep being such a good man."


    It was an acceptable consolation prize, I decided. The compliment was also appreciated.


    After we finished our respective morning rituals, we left the room, more than a few eyes turning in our direction. Skadi just drank it all in as she left some septims on the counter and sauntered outside.


    Then she paused, giving a shifty look around Riverwood. "Ralof had said¡­"


    Her eyes flickered to me expectantly until I pointed out the right home. "That one."


    "Yes, that one. It might be too late to break our fast with them, but it''s not noon yet."


    And that was true enough as someone who could only be Ralof''s sister greeted us at the door, and then Ralof himself, and soon enough it turned into a whole thing. While they already had breakfast, they still had some leftovers that we devoured.


    "Sleep well?" Ralof asked as he watched us.


    "Like a babe," she commented. The funny smile the Stormcloak was sporting at her words helped me notice that Skadi was positively glowing.


    Seeing it probably put an equally dumb smile on my lips as I scarfed down eggs and some kind of very funky cheese.


    Ralof soon dropped two pouches on the table that clinked with coins. "Your share."


    She quickly spirited hers away, happy as a bee, and I followed her example. There should be no shortage of ways to spend it when we got to Whiterun.


    "No Imperials have come by either," Ralof continued with a small frown. "There may not be anything of Helgen left¡­"


    That seemed to dim the good mood somewhat, but Skadi quickly rallied. "We''ve sent the dragons packing once before. We can do it again."


    He gave a soft sigh. "I hope you''re right."


    I left them for a bit to collect my cloak from Camilla, which really helped complete the Conan the Barbarian vibe. And when we later all stood on the main road, I felt the wind washing over me without even a shiver. I had conquered Skyrim''s weather like I had conquered a certain beauty.


    "Talos be with you," Ralof said as he looked somewhere over yonder.


    "You''ll be cutting through the mountains?"


    "Aye. Quicker to Windhelm that way. Soon all of Skyrim will know what''s happened."


    Skadi nodded. "Safe travels, Ralof."


    I said my farewells as well, and the last I saw of him was a smile.


    We soon continued down the road. With how heavy my pack was, I decided I would eat a few more books tonight. And yeah, eat, because I certainly wasn''t reading them.


    Made me wonder what else I could eat. Actually, no, that''s a slippery slope to go down.


    "Have any stories, Russ?"


    "Stories?" It''s not like I''d been at the murderhobo thing long. "Well, maybe some from¡­ from where I learned magic. It would probably bore you to tears."


    "I''ll be the judge of that."


    I slowly went about telling her some (only slightly modified) stories from my college days. Maybe I wasn''t half bad at it since she was actually smiling, and even making oohs and ahhs as I rambled.


    Then she launched into some more stories of her own, all of them the very essence of a murderhobo, but that was just how she was. After that we played a few word games, which again left me wondering what language we were actually speaking here. I didn''t think it was English since when I tried to say some (very technical) words, it just came out a garbled mess.


    Unsurprisingly that question ended up in the growing pile of unanswered questions I had placed in the corner. It might turn into a mountain if I wasn''t careful.


    I also quickly learned when we made camp that she was very serious about it being a nightly thing, even if the morning part had been an exaggeration. Being able to put myself back together with some shiny hands had probably saved me from the life of a cripple after a few days, but it hadn''t been without cost. To the point where I was beginning to wonder if there was a way to speed up how much magicka I was able to replenish passively.


    While I didn''t figure it out despite some time spent experimenting, I did figure out that much of the magicka I could grasp was going into giving me form and substance as a certain Daedric Prince had called it. It was why I was so quick to feel myself being hollowed out when I tried to use that magicka for anything else.


    More importantly, I had figured out how to conjure (or summon) a Flame Atronach around the same time. Well, not only a Flame Atronach, technically, but I knew my priorities. The sudden clusterfuck of a headache had been worth it.


    It was around the time that we rounded the river and turned west that Skadi had suddenly paused, and it wasn''t hard to guess why. There were three figures on the road ahead of us, and the black robes two of them were rocking were a dead giveaway. The last was what looked like a tiny Argonian trailing after them in chains.


    "Thalmor," Skadi hissed.


    I could see it in her everything. She was going to pick a fight, and I was going along for the ride.

 Chapter 6 - A Thalmor of a Time

    It was always a sight to see seven feet of woman on the move, her long hair whipping behind her. While she probably imagined herself as going on a light jog, to me it might as well have been a full-on sprint.


    At least this time it wasn''t me she was bearing down on, waving a massive axe around and sporting a bloodthirsty grin.


    Still, seven feet of woman bearing down on anyone wasn''t exactly being inconspicuous, and the Thalmor reacted accordingly. I just wasn''t expecting the sheer amount of magicka around them, pressing against me almost physically.


    Thankfully, Skadi had already slowed to a walk, crossing her arms. "What''s she done that requires a gag and chains?" Her tone could have almost seemed friendly.


    Also, that was probably putting it lightly. It was a wonder the tiny lizard girl could even walk with how many chains were wrapped around her dark blue scales. There were what looked like patches of obsidian as well.


    "That is not your concern," one of them said, the one in just the black-and-gold robes. The other one, slimmer, had what looked like armor made of gold and glass under her robes, her alien (and vividly green) eyes narrowed. "All you need to be aware of is that we have the authority to question her."


    They were also both taller than me, which, you know, didn''t bother me one bit. No siree.


    "I think I have the right to ask certain questions," Skadi shot back with what could only be called a shit-eating grin.


    Yeah, definitely picking a fight, and they felt it as well if the pressure of magicka noticeably increasing was anything to go by. What I felt from Anthony couldn''t hold a candle to it.


    Now that I thought about it, what if there was a limit as to how much magicka I could eat? And how was I even going to explain it to her after?


    Yeah, I forgot to mention it, but I eat magicka to hide the fact that I am some kind of abomination. Yep, totally normal, nothing to see here¡­


    The golden elf guy rudely interrupted my internal monologue. "Looks can be deceiving." He then said something in another language to his partner, and even under the current circumstances I thought it was a beautiful one, smooth and melodic.


    "Don''t I know it," Skadi shot back. "For all you adorn yourselves in the finest¡ª"


    Her axe moved so fast that I could swear it blurred, and the only reason the guy wasn''t short a head is because he reacted just as the edge touched his neck, his skin smoothing out into something metallic.


    "¡ªyou''re nothing but bandits in the end," Skadi finished. Then she laughed like she had actually lost it. "Fun."


    As she proceeded to kick him a ways away I decided that I was going to have words with her about her definition of fun after¡ª


    I had raised my hands just in time, placing a ward as my heart beat like a drum. If not for it, the shimmering thing that bounced off of her would have taken my head off.


    Lesson learned. Don''t monologue like a moron.


    His partner gave a very feminine sigh as she retrieved her sword, a thing made of what looked like glass. She seemed so unbothered about it all that I hesitated. Well, that and the fact that she was standing right next to the frightened Argonian girl pulling at her chains.


    And seeing as I had no idea if any Daedra I conjured would actually listen to me¡­


    The squawking laughter drew her eyes. They then glanced back at me like she was asking what the fuck that was supposed to be, at least until it shambled at her, reaching out with its many limbs.


    ¡­Only for it to get beheaded and fall apart in one (admittedly graceful) swipe of her anime bullshit sword.


    "A Daedra conjurer and a mad Nord," she whispered softly, giving the Argonian girl''s chains a tug. "Are you friends of this¡ª"


    There was a thunderous crash following a flash of lightning ahead of us, the air sparking dangerously. And looking up, I saw fat black clouds circling like sharks in the sky.


    I at least tried to take advantage of it by smushing together as much as I could and lobbing it at her. In retrospect, I probably should have expected her to do some more anime bullshit like deflecting it with her sword. Why not, right?


    I was wondering what to do now when Skadi had come back to ram into her like a bull, Anime Girl and all her anime bullshit being sent flying into the trees.


    "I think I made him upset. I''ll let you take care of him."


    Not even listening to my sudden sound of protest, she stalked after Anime Girl back into the woods.


    And, like clockwork, the guy came storming back onto the scene, the metal around his left cheek chipped. With a surprising amount of bravery, I put myself between him and the tiny lizard girl dragging herself and her chains into the woods as well.


    Having learned that thinking wasn''t a free action, I didn''t think.


    He cursed at me (in a weird song-like manner) as he raised something around himself to blunt my assault, and I soon realized that unlike Anthony, he could do more than one thing at a time.


    I abandoned my attack as an ungodly amount of lightning threatened to turn me into a shadow on the ground. The problem was that I didn''t have a clue how to stop whatever he was doing with the black clouds, and then my ward¡ª


    ¡ªon a stick, that fucking hurt. The lightning burnt right through my new furs and etched branch-like burns into my skin. I put up more and more wards, feeling more hollow for each one.


    A blind man could see that it was quickly beginning to look untenable. I doubted I could even reach for a potion like this.


    The color soon went out of the world, my heart stopped beating, I stopped breathing. All that was left was magicka¡­ so much magicka. And I was so hungry.


    The clouds above were the farthest thing from black now, and I opened my mouth wide. There was so much magicka that I felt myself put back together almost instantly.


    It was a jarring experience, but at least I wasn''t the only one having a bad day. The guy cursed at me again, horror etched into his alien features, but he didn''t try and crawl into a corner like Anthony. No, he just threw more of that shimmering shit at me, and he was really fucking good at aiming it.


    I ran at him for lack of anything better to do, all while trying to keep myself in one piece. I was already feeling half a stick again when I tried to stick my axe in him. Which, you know, did fuck-all seeing as he was made of metal now.


    Then his eyes lit up like a bonfire and he breathed fire at me like a dragon reject. I was cooking even through all the wards I put up, and all the magicka I had replenished by snacking on clouds was quickly vanishing.


    Here we go again¡­


    Reduced to a spectator again, I was unable to stop him from getting away. At least until I noticed something important. His robes¡­ they had magicka in them.


    My hunger kept me going, kept me focused. I saw his surprise as I grabbed a hold of his seemingly rainbow robes and shoved them down¡­ something.


    And it was more than just his robes. There was so much magicka on and inside of him, his blood and flesh more rainbow than red. I was still hungry.


    So very hungry¡­


    I followed the example of my monster, my hands now equally monstrous as I dragged him to the ground and tore him apart. It was like cracking open a pi?ata.


    I stood when I had my fill, smacking my lips. I was stuffed.


    That''s about the time sanity returned to me, leaving me staring down at an empty-eyed corpse. It looked like a fucking wild animal had a go at him.


    It wasn''t the first time I''d killed here either, but it sure as shit was the first time I ate a man. Even if he wasn''t strictly human.


    I tried to reason to myself that it was magicka I ate, but it was kind of hard with his blood still dripping from my lips. This was some seriously messed up shit.


    The sounds of fighting finally registered and I looked up to see those two still duking it out. Anime Girl must have figured out anime physics as well since she was looking more like a vaguely humanoid blur than anything else.


    Somehow Skadi still kept up with her, but her axe was slowly being worn down.


    If not for me still tasting a funky mix of blood and blue raspberry, I might have found it funny when they both stopped to stare at what was left of him. That led to Anime Girl deciding to retreat, at least until a very angry Argonian girl jumped out of the bushes and sunk her very sharp teeth into her golden neck.


    It still didn''t even break her skin, but her suddenly awkward position did allow Skadi to go ham, chipping away chunks of it. I was still watching it all in a daze when Anime Girl flicked her wrist too fast for me to follow, her sword like a missile as it slid right into Skadi''s belly.


    Taking advantage of her surprise to pull the angry lizard off of her, Anime Girl took off in a sprint so fast she could probably make Usain Bolt cry tears of jealousy.


    I made it to Skadi, but she just laughed it off. "Take a shot. Maybe you''ll get lucky."


    Looking down Anime Girl''s sprinting form, I carved as much false lightning as I could into a vaguely spear-like shape and ''threw'' it at her. She didn''t have her sword to deflect it this time, but then she¡­ yeah, she just hopped like a ballerina over it. I should have guessed.


    I could barely make her out in the distance now, so that was that.


    I felt more mentally exhausted than physically, but I still had to help a certain triggerhappy dragon with a sword lodged in her gut, something which I wasn''t even sure I could do? The one and only spell I knew would go under basic bitch in the dictionary.


    "Don''t think it hit anything important. Just have to take it out and wash a potion down." She made eyes at me then. "Though I won''t say no to my man running his hands all over me either."


    The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    I gave her an exasperated sigh before I noticed the Argonian girl watching us nervously.


    Her eyes would have been two black holes if not for the shock of blue at the center of them like burning coals. And she also had sleek black hair that tumbled to her shoulders, which was¡­ I wasn''t sure if Argonians even had hair?


    I turned back to Skadi as she slowly pulled the anime bullshit sword from her belly, red blood slipping out of her freely. Lighting my hands up, I placed them on either side of her, hollowing myself out to heal her. Though did she have to look at me and moan like that?


    She fell back on the grass and dirt with a sigh after I finished. "They might be bastards, but they sure know how to fight."


    "You do this often?" I snarked. I really should stop being surprised at her antics.


    "Not the first time I had a scuffle with them." She glanced behind me at the corpse I knew was there. "First time making them run off with their tail between their legs though. That monster of yours had fun?"


    Yeah. Totally not me, myself and I. I at least tried not to look suspicious.


    A small voice came to my rescue. "Sorry for¡­ causing trouble¡­"


    Skadi snorted. "As if I wouldn''t have picked a fight anyway. Though you Argonians don''t normally pay any heed to Talos or any of the Divines¡­" The question hung in the air.


    "They didn''t¡­ didn''t say why..." It didn''t seem like she was used to speaking whatever language we were speaking right now.


    "I''m Russ," I blatantly lied.


    "Skadi." She popped back up after introducing herself, stretching left and right. Then she uncorked one of her very red potions and drank it dry. "Good as new."


    "Bright-Like-Dawn," she returned just as quietly.


    Well, it fit her. "We were heading to Whiterun if you want to come with."


    She nodded as I downed one of my potions, the taste of glue and soap definitely growing on me.


    Skadi, ever the murderhobo, had went to poke around the golden elf guy''s corpse for anything worth taking. Seeing as I ate everything enchanted on him, all she found was some septims and ''glaessins'' as she called Aldmeri Dominion currency.


    The face she made at them was cute.


    Also, I took the anime bullshit sword for myself. It weighed almost nothing and was as sharp as anything I''ve ever seen.


    It was kind of grim leaving a corpse on the road, but neither Skadi nor Bright-Like-Dawn had any interest burying him, maybe unsurprisingly.


    The Argonian girl happily accepted some of our food when we made camp for the night, tearing through the tough jerky like it was butter with her teeth. That''s about when it became quickly apparent that Skadi had no intention of stopping our nightly activities.


    The insatiable dragon of a Nord at least had the decency to drag me away somewhere quiet before doing her very best to turn my hips to dust. Though maybe not far enough if the nervous embarrassment radiating from the tiny lizard girl when we returned was any indication.


    At least, that''s what it looked like. It was hard to say with how alien she still seemed to me.


    I did notice the burning center of her eyes were brighter at night, and even her scales faintly glowed.


    Turning all the more embarrassed when Skadi asked if she wanted to cuddle up with us under my cloak as the wind picked up again, she hesitantly agreed. Which is where I noticed just how warm she was. Aren''t reptiles supposed to be cold-blooded?


    Though seeing as she was also soft and squishy, maybe I shouldn''t assume.


    Skadi being as greedy as a dragon, she soon hugged the very confused Argonian girl to her chest. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I had been replaced!


    Granted, she had already insisted I play the big spoon every night for some reason, so not much really changed. It didn''t hurt that she was also soft and squishy in all the right places.


    In the morning after another long night of staring at a tower, we scarfed down some breakfast and talked about this and that. Bright-Like-Dawn even shared something of Black Marsh, though she admitted she was something of a hermit and lived on her own.


    Also, she had a rather funny reaction when we mentioned dragons as being the reason we were headed to Whiterun.


    We weren''t far from it now, and when we did finally see it, it followed the same pattern as Helgen and Riverwood had. It sprawled across the hilly plains, surrounded on all sides by high walls and farmland.


    It was around that time that the roads began crowding with more and more people.


    "I''ve not been in Whiterun in a year or two," Skadi admitted. "At least the Thalmor shouldn''t have a nice welcome prepared for us. Jarl Balgruuf had them barred from the city last I heard."


    She always had a look like she swallowed a lemon whenever the whole civil war came up, so I touched a hand to her arm.


    "Have you figured out why you felt drawn here?" I asked by way of distraction.


    "Perhaps," she murmured. "Something tells me we''ll soon find out."


    There wasn''t any giant making a mess of things that we found, but then the roads were also crawling with people, many of them armed, so maybe that shouldn''t surprise me.


    The guards at the gates gave our company a funny look, but that was it. As we entered, Skadi''s eyes fell on Dragonsreach, still seated high above the sprawling cityscape.


    "I only hope the jarl will be receptive to our story," she commented.


    Bright-Like-Dawn meanwhile was trying to stare at everything all at once, her claws pulling at her scales nervously as we both followed after Skadi. The woman-shaped dragon was something like a bulldozer when we were dealing with crowds.


    We passed a few sights familiar to me on the way, like Jorrvaskr seated on its own hill and the ruin of a hulking tree beneath it, but Skadi''s inhuman pace wasn''t leaving much time for sightseeing.


    When we reached the steps leading up to Dragonsreach, she was sporting a wistful smile. "It''s almost like High Hrothgar, if much smaller." Then she bounded up the steps with ease, leaving us to follow again.


    Honestly, it''s a wonder she could move that quickly with that dumptruck of an ass¡­


    Skadi was already speaking with one of the guards when we reached the top. I was surprised I wasn''t out of breath. That many steps would have murdered me once upon a time.


    The guard led us before who could only be Jarl Balgruuf himself. He was much more impressive in the flesh, I decided.


    "Well met, Skadi of Ivarstead. I hear you have news from Helgen?"


    "I do. I only hope you will not dismiss them. The World Eater has returned, and he had left it a ruin last we saw."


    Well, she was certainly blunt. There were gasps and murmurs at her words.


    "So it is true¡­" the jal muttered. "We had heard rumors of a dragon black as night tearing through the sky, but there has been no word of where it went. No word until now¡­"


    "I saw him with my own eyes. I saw his hatred and malice as he split the sky asunder."


    She really had a way with words when she wanted to.


    Jarl Balgruuf looked like he had just eaten an entire plate of lemons when he turned to the woman to our left, with smoky gray skin and red eyes. Also pointy ears. Dunmer. "Irileth, send a detachment of the guard to Riverwood." A weasel of a man to our right tried to talk him out of it. "I know, Proventus, but what choice do we have? Damn Siddgeir if he complains."


    "It will be done," she answered, stalking away.


    "I owe you three a debt." The guy''s eyes looked between us, and I had to bite back the laugh as Bright-Like-Dawn mumbled a funny ''Me?''


    "It was nothing but a Nord''s duty," Skadi replied.


    There was something nostalgic in his eyes at her words. "Still, sit, eat, be merry. Dragonsreach is yours for as long as you will have it. I only ask that you hear me out on the morrow. I promise it is important."


    I had a pretty good idea of what that was. Bleak Falls Barrow.


    We shared a few glances before we nodded, and he smiled. "Then I shall leave you to it." He soon vanished into one of the rooms on the side.


    Bright-Like-Dawn and I had moved to the table that had food that wasn''t dry and caked in salt when I noticed Skadi going out on the terrace overlooking the great outdoors. I knew she had a healthy appetite, so there was no way she wasn''t hungry.


    I quickly grabbed something that looked sweet before following after her, where I found her staring at the sunset. "A sweetroll for your thoughts?"


    She turned around, looking down at my offering. "That''s not a sweetroll, Russ."


    I looked at it, eyes narrowed. "It''s not?"


    "It''s got berries in it, you silly man." She still took a bite before offering me a taste. Yeah, it was more sour than sweet. Then she leaned down to kiss me. "Thank you."


    "You know, if something''s bothering you¡­" I hinted.


    Those starkly blue eyes of hers watched me a moment before she sighed. "It''s this war¡­ and now the World Eater has returned as well. And the Thalmor¡­" There was that face again. "Will there even be a Skyrim in ten years?"


    These weren''t questions with easy answers. Maybe I could tell her she was destined to kick Alduin''s ass, but after that all I had was a certain someone''s LSD-fueled ramblings, and I sure as shit wasn''t telling her the Thalmor might similarly be destined to succeed.


    Instead I just kept mum as she played with my hair. It was the smarter thing to do.


    "Even you, Russ. At times it''s hard to place you, a certain uncertainty that maybe I enjoyed more than I should have for how new it was to me." Her eyes searched for something. "Other times you feel like a half remembered dream." She sighed, looking embarrassed for her words. "I am not making any sense, am I?"


    Well, shit.