《The Intern's Journal: Experiments, Explosions, and Existential Dread》


 Chapter 1

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

 Chapter 2

Stolen story; please report.

 Chapter 3

Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

 Chapter 4

    Intern¡¯s Log: Lucca, the Medic Who Won¡¯t Let You Die (No Matter How Much You Want To)


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I am terrified of the nice one.)


    So, after barely surviving Chips¡¯ cold, calculating leadership, and Stubby¡¯s absolute love for psychological warfare via high explosives, I decided¡ªstupidly¡ªthat it was time to meet one of the "nicer" Good Boys.


    Which is how I ended up alone in a medical bay with Lucca.


    And now?


    Now I understand something deeply terrifying.


    Because Lucca is not the nice one.


    Lucca is the unstoppable one.


    Phase One: The First Impression (Oh, She¡¯s Normal?)


    Unlike Chips, who radiates military precision, or Stubby, who gives off ''unhinged gremlin energy,'' Lucca seemed¡­ normal.


    ? Labrador genes.


    ? Warm, golden fur.


    ? Soft brown eyes that scream ¡°trust me, I¡¯m your friend.¡±


    ? A gentle voice.


    ? An actual, normal smile (not the kind that makes you think you¡¯re being sized up for war crimes).


    "Oh! You must be Reynolds!" she said, cheerfully, the first time I walked in.


    "Uh. Yeah."


    "You look unbalanced."


    ¡­Excuse me?


    Before I could respond, she grabbed my wrist, checked my pulse, and nodded to herself.


    "Elevated heart rate. Tension in the shoulders. Are you sleeping well?"


    "I¡ªwhat? Yes? I mean, no, but¡ª"


    "You drink too much caffeine."


    HOW DOES SHE KNOW THIS.


    Phase Two: The "Friendly" Checkup (I Was Not Given a Choice)


    So apparently, Lucca does not believe in personal boundaries when it comes to medical assessments.


    She escorted me (read: gently, but firmly pushed me) onto an examination table and proceeded to do a full workup on me like I was a malfunctioning piece of equipment.


    "Do I¡ªdo I have a choice?" I asked weakly.


    "Nope!" she chirped, cheerfully pressing a stethoscope to my chest.


    I have seen cold, heartless scientists in this facility.


    I have seen explosives maniacs.


    I have never been more terrified than I was in that moment.


    Phase Three: The ¡°You Don¡¯t Get to Die¡± Speech


    While she wrapped a blood pressure cuff around my arm (far too tightly, might I add), I made the mistake of asking:


    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    "So¡­ your job is patching up the team?"


    She smiled.


    "Yes! But also no!"


    "What¡­ does that mean?"


    She tilted her head slightly, as if the answer was obvious.


    "I don¡¯t just fix wounds, Reynolds. I make sure they don¡¯t stop moving."


    She squeezed the pressure cuff harder.


    "Ever."


    And that¡¯s when I realized¡ª


    Lucca isn¡¯t just a medic.


    Lucca is a combat medic.


    The kind that keeps you alive not for your sake, but because you still have work to do.


    Oh no.


    Phase Four: The Time I Watched Her Work (I Now Fear Medicine)


    Later that day, I got dragged into a live training exercise where Lucca was assigned to Stubby¡¯s fire team.


    I figured, Oh, okay. A normal field medic. Checking vitals, dressing wounds, all that.


    I figured wrong.


    Because five minutes into the exercise, one of the other Good Boys took a simulated ¡°injury¡± to the leg.


    I expected a calm, measured response.


    Instead?


    Lucca yanked him up, threw his arm over her shoulder, and hauled him forward like he weighed nothing.


    "You can still shoot, right?" she asked casually, while dragging him behind cover.


    "Uh¡ªyeah?" the injured guy stammered.


    "Then you¡¯re fine!" she said cheerfully.


    I stared in horror.


    She doesn¡¯t just heal.


    She refuses to let them stop fighting.


    Ever.


    Phase Five: The Unsettling Realization


    After the training session, I¡ªdeeply unsettled¡ªapproached her.


    "So, uh. Your philosophy is just¡­ keep moving?"


    She smiled brightly.


    "Of course! If they¡¯re moving, they¡¯re fighting! If they¡¯re fighting, they¡¯re alive!"


    ¡­That is a dangerous mindset.


    I cleared my throat.


    "But, like¡­ what if they¡¯re too injured to move?"


    Lucca tilted her head, blinked at me, and said the single most terrifying thing I have ever heard.


    "Then I make them move."


    Phase Six: I Am Now Afraid of the Nice One


    Let¡¯s recap.


    ? Lucca seems warm, friendly, and gentle.


    ? Lucca is not warm, friendly, or gentle.


    ? Lucca will patch you up, but only so you can keep fighting.


    ? If you physically cannot fight, she will find a way to make you fight.


    ? I now understand why none of the other Good Boys argue with her.


    I don¡¯t know what they were trying to create with Project Canid.


    But I do know this.


    If I ever get injured?


    If I ever so much as twist an ankle?


    I will not be asking for medical help.


    Because Lucca will fix me.


    And then she will shove me back into battle.


    And I am not built for war.


    End Log.

 Chapter 5

    Intern¡¯s Log: Nemo, the Silent Wall of Doom


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I have finally met the scariest Good Boy. And he doesn¡¯t even talk.)


    So, after barely surviving Chips'' quiet power plays, Stubby¡¯s love of controlled chaos, and Lucca¡¯s terrifying refusal to let anyone die, I decided to check out one of the quieter Good Boys.


    You know.


    For sanity reasons.


    Which is how I ended up standing in front of Nemo.


    And now?


    Now I wish I had picked literally anyone else.


    Phase One: Nemo is Big. Really, Really Big.


    When I first read his file, I saw:


    ? Breed: German Shepherd


    ? Primary Role: Heavy Weapons & Defense


    ? Height: 6¡¯10¡±


    ? Weight: 350 lbs (muscle-dense)


    And I thought, Okay. Big guy. Strong. Probably the ¡°gentle giant¡± type.


    I was wrong.


    Because when I finally saw him in person, I realized something.


    Nemo isn¡¯t just big.


    He is a wall.


    Like, physically, emotionally, and metaphorically.


    ? Towering, built like a tank, broad shoulders, muscles that don¡¯t make sense.


    ? Expression unreadable, eyes dark and sharp.


    ? Moves with slow, deliberate weight, like he¡¯s always considering the best way to break through a concrete bunker.


    ? Silent. Absolutely, terrifyingly silent.


    And he just stood there, staring at me.


    Saying nothing.


    Oh no.


    Phase Two: The First and Only Conversation I Had with Nemo


    Since I am a professional idiot, I tried to break the silence.


    "Uh. Hey. You¡¯re Nemo, right?"


    No response.


    I swallowed.


    "I¡¯m Reynolds. New here."


    He tilted his head slightly, like he was acknowledging me.


    Still silent.


    "So, uh. What do you do around here?"


    Nothing.


    Just staring.


    I started sweating.


    "Right. You do¡­ weapons? Defense?"


    A slow nod.


    Nothing else.


    Jesus Christ, man.


    Phase Three: I Witness Nemo in Action


    A few days later, I got roped into watching another training session.


    The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.


    This time?


    Heavy combat drills.


    Nemo was paired against three other Good Boys for a sparring match.


    Now, logically, that should be a fair fight.


    Three highly trained, genetically enhanced dog-soldiers versus one guy, even if he is huge.


    Right?


    Wrong.


    Because the moment the match started, Nemo didn¡¯t fight like a soldier.


    He fought like a tank.


    Phase Four: I Have Never Seen a Man Used as a Blunt Weapon Before


    The first opponent lunged.


    Nemo grabbed him mid-air and THREW HIM into another guy like a wrecking ball.


    The third guy rushed in for a leg sweep.


    Nemo didn¡¯t even flinch.


    He just took the hit, stayed standing, and then picked the poor bastard up and SLAMMED HIM into the ground like a sandbag.


    It was not a fight.


    It was physics, applied mercilessly.


    And the worst part?


    He never once changed his expression.


    He was calm, controlled, and utterly, terrifyingly unstoppable.


    Phase Five: The Unsettling Realization


    After the match, I made the mistake of asking Lucca about him.


    "So¡­ Nemo. Does he ever talk?"


    Lucca chuckled.


    "Not really. He¡¯s always been like that. Even in early training."


    "Is he just¡­ shy?"


    Lucca gave me a knowing look.


    "Reynolds. He doesn¡¯t talk because he doesn¡¯t have to."


    I blinked.


    "What?"


    She gestured toward the training field, where Nemo was calmly lifting one of the guys he had just thrown like he weighed nothing.


    "You¡¯ve met Chips, right? The guy who plans ten steps ahead? Nemo¡¯s just as smart, but he doesn¡¯t bother with words. He acts."


    Oh. Oh no.


    Phase Six: Nemo is the Last Person You Want to Make Angry


    ? Chips is calculating.


    ? Stubby is a gremlin.


    ? Lucca is a combat medic who refuses to let you stop fighting.


    ? But Nemo?


    Nemo is inevitable.


    If Chips is the chess master, then Nemo is the checkmate.


    He doesn¡¯t plot, manipulate, or scheme.


    He just waits.


    He watches.


    And when the time comes?


    He moves.


    And God help you if you¡¯re in his way.


    Final Thoughts (I Am Staying on Nemo¡¯s Good Side Forever)


    ? Nemo doesn¡¯t talk.


    ? Nemo doesn¡¯t need to talk.


    ? Nemo is a wrecking ball disguised as a soldier.


    ? If Nemo decides you are an obstacle, you are already lost.


    ? I am going to be very, very nice to Nemo.


    I don¡¯t know what this project is really trying to create.


    But I do know this.


    If you ever hear Nemo coming?


    It¡¯s already too late.


    End Log.

 Chapter 6

    Intern¡¯s Log: Cairo, the Infiltration Specialist Who Is Absolutely Planning Something


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I have met the sneakiest creature on Earth, and I am afraid.)


    So.


    I have survived Chips¡¯ tactical cold war, Stubby¡¯s explosion-based humor, Lucca¡¯s terrifying refusal to let anyone die, and Nemo¡¯s living wall of doom.


    Now?


    Now I¡¯m meeting Cairo.


    The infiltration specialist.


    The stealth expert.


    The one they literally designed to be a ghost.


    And now?


    Now I have absolutely no proof he exists.


    Phase One: The First Time I ¡°Met¡± Cairo (Spoiler: I Didn¡¯t)


    "Oh, you¡¯re meeting Cairo today?" Lucca had asked me that morning, grinning.


    "Yeah," I said. "Where is he?"


    "Oh, you¡¯ll find him."


    That should have been a red flag.


    So I walked into Cairo¡¯s quarters, expecting to find yet another terrifyingly built, genetically enhanced supersoldier staring me down.


    Instead?


    Nothing.


    Empty room.


    No signs of life.


    Except¡ªwait.


    Was that the faintest movement in the shadows?


    I blinked, and it was gone.


    I stood there for a good thirty seconds, waiting for something to happen.


    Nothing did.


    I sighed.


    "Well, I guess he¡¯s not here¡ª"


    "Boo."


    I died.


    Phase Two: Cairo, the Smugest Creature in This Facility


    I whipped around so fast I nearly dislocated something.


    And there he was.


    Standing right behind me.


    Where there had been no one before.


    Looking far too amused.


    ? Breed: Belgian Malinois


    ? Tall, lean, and way too smooth in his movements


    ? Eyes sharp and unreadable, like he¡¯s always three steps ahead


    ? The kind of guy who never makes a sound unless he wants to


    ? Smiling. Smiling like he knows every embarrassing thing you¡¯ve ever done.


    "Jesus¡ª!" I gasped.


    He tilted his head.


    "Nah. Just Cairo."


    I hate him.


    Phase Three: The Walking Shadow


    "So," I said, once I had recovered from my near-death experience. "Stealth specialist, huh?"


    "You could say that." Cairo said smoothly.


    "How good are we talking?"


    He grinned.


    Then, before I could blink, he was gone.


    I spun in place, scanning the room.


    Nothing.


    "Cairo?"


    Nothing.


    "Alright, very funny, just¡ª"


    A voice whispered directly into my ear.


    "Took you 4.2 seconds to panic. Not bad."


    I hit the ground like I¡¯d been shot.


    And from the corner of the ceiling, Cairo laughed.


    HE WAS IN THE GODDAMN CEILING.


    Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.


    Phase Four: The Time He Stole My ID Badge and I Never Got It Back


    Cairo is not just a stealth specialist.


    He is a kleptomaniac menace.


    And I learned this the hard way when, two hours after meeting him, I tried to badge into a restricted lab¡­


    And my ID was gone.


    I checked my pockets. My bag. My sleeves.


    Nothing.


    Then I heard a soft chuckle from above.


    I looked up.


    And there, perched like a gargoyle on a light fixture, was Cairo.


    Holding my ID.


    Flipping it between his fingers.


    Smirking.


    "Looking for something?"


    I hate him so much.


    Phase Five: Cairo is Always Watching


    After that, I started noticing things.


    ? Things going missing.


    ? Doors being left open.


    ? Security footage glitching at the worst possible times.


    ? Conversations being just slightly overheard.


    ? The faintest flicker of movement in a hallway when no one should be there.


    And every time I turned to catch him?


    Nothing.


    But sometimes, just sometimes¡ª


    I would hear a soft chuckle.


    Like he was always there.


    Watching.


    Waiting.


    Enjoying the fact that I could never quite prove it.


    Phase Six: The Moment I Realized Cairo is Always Three Steps Ahead


    One night, I was leaving the facility, exhausted, ready to go back to my quarters and pretend I had control over my life.


    Then I saw it.


    A note, taped to my door.


    I pulled it off, opened it, and read:


    "Reynolds¡ª"


    "You really should lock your terminal before walking away. Password security is important."


    My stomach dropped.


    Because my terminal was restricted access.


    And Cairo doesn¡¯t have clearance.


    I sprinted back to my workstation.


    And there, sitting casually in my chair, feet up on the desk¡ª


    Was Cairo.


    Smiling.


    Drinking my coffee.


    "Relax," he said, before I could start screaming. "I didn¡¯t change anything. Just¡­ wanted to see if I could get in."


    "AND YOU COULD?!"


    "Of course."


    He took another sip.


    "I can get in anywhere."


    Phase Seven: The One Good Thing About Cairo (I Think?)


    Here¡¯s the most unsettling part about all of this.


    Cairo?


    He¡¯s not malicious.


    ? Chips is waiting for the moment leadership fails.


    ? Stubby is a walking war crime waiting to happen.


    ? Lucca will keep you alive whether you want her to or not.


    ? Nemo is inevitable.


    But Cairo?


    Cairo doesn¡¯t want control.


    Cairo just wants access.


    And that?


    Might be worse.


    Because if he ever decides he does want something?


    There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that will stop him from taking it.


    Final Thoughts (I Will Never Sleep Again)


    ? Cairo is always watching.


    ? Cairo can be anywhere.


    ? Cairo can get into anything.


    ? Cairo enjoys knowing things other people don¡¯t.


    ? Cairo stole my ID and I never got it back.


    I don¡¯t know what he¡¯s planning.


    But I do know this¡ª


    If I ever wake up to find Cairo standing in my room?


    It¡¯s already too late.


    End Log.

 Chapter 7

    Intern¡¯s Log: Smoky, the Tech Specialist Who Is Too Smart for His Own Good


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I have met the smartest Good Boy. This is dangerous.)


    Alright.


    After barely surviving Cairo¡¯s "I know everything and I can be anywhere" energy, I decided to check out the last Good Boy I hadn¡¯t officially met yet.


    His name? Smoky.


    His role? Tech Specialist.


    His reputation? Too smart for his own damn good.


    And now?


    Now I understand why everyone in this facility fears him.


    Phase One: The First Impression (He Looks Normal? That¡¯s Suspicious.)


    Unlike the other Good Boys, who radiate intimidation, chaos, or silent menace, Smoky seemed...


    Chill.


    ? Husky genes.


    ? Sleek, silver-gray fur.


    ? Glowing blue cybernetic enhancements embedded in his hands.


    ? A casual, almost lazy grin like he¡¯s seen the end of the movie and already knows how it plays out.


    ? The youngest of the group, but somehow the one who acts like he¡¯s been here the longest.


    "Ah, the intern," he said, spinning in a chair when I walked in.


    "Uh. Yeah."


    "Welcome to my domain. Try not to break anything. Or do. I like fixing things."


    And that?


    That should have been a red flag.


    Phase Two: I Watch Him Work (I Do Not Understand What I Am Seeing)


    I expected Smoky to be sitting at a computer, maybe working on cybersecurity or something.


    What I did not expect was for him to be actively rewiring a neural interface with his bare hands.


    Like it was nothing.


    No gloves.


    No tools.


    Just his modified fingers tapping into a complex system that I absolutely should not be looking at.


    "You¡¯re good with tech, huh?" I asked, because I am a master of stating the obvious.


    "Oh, you know," he said modestly, while literally hacking a military-grade network with one hand. "I dabble."


    HE. DABBLES.


    Phase Three: Smoky Plays By His Own Rules


    After about ten minutes of watching him work, I noticed something deeply unsettling.


    ? The terminal he was working on? Not officially assigned to him.


    ? The files he was sorting through? Not even related to Project Canid.


    ? The security feeds he had pulled up? Definitely restricted.


    "Smoky," I said carefully, "are you supposed to have access to that?"


    He grinned, flashing a sharp canine.


    "Supposed to? No."


    "But you do."


    "Obviously."


    I stared.


    "How."


    He just wiggled his cybernetic fingers.


    If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    "Magic."


    I hate him.


    Phase Four: The Time I Almost Got Arrested Because of Him


    About twenty minutes after I left Smoky¡¯s lab, I was detained by security.


    Because, apparently, my access credentials had just attempted to download classified project data.


    Which I did not do.


    But you know who did?


    Smoky.


    With my ID.


    That I didn¡¯t even know he had.


    I was in the middle of trying to explain this absolute nightmare scenario when, out of nowhere, a facility-wide announcement came over the speakers.


    "Whoops. My bad."


    IT WAS HIS VOICE.


    I swear to God, I heard Cairo laughing somewhere.


    Phase Five: The Time I Asked Him What His Actual Job Was


    After I was begrudgingly released from security questioning, I stormed back into Smoky¡¯s lab.


    "WHAT IS YOUR ACTUAL JOB?!"


    Smoky, completely unbothered, was sitting with his feet up, eating a stolen protein bar.


    "You mean besides making sure the team doesn¡¯t die?"


    "YES."


    "I¡¯m the guy who makes sure we¡¯re always three steps ahead."


    "By hacking the facility?!"


    "By knowing everything before the people in charge do."


    I dragged a hand down my face.


    "Smoky. They will fire you for this."


    He chuckled.


    "Reynolds. If they could stop me, they would have already."


    And you know what?


    I couldn¡¯t argue with that.


    Phase Six: The Time He Hacked My Phone Just to Prove a Point


    Later that evening, my phone buzzed.


    A message from an unknown number.


    [You should really use a better password.]


    I stared at it.


    Then looked up.


    Across the hall, Smoky was leaning casually in a doorway, smiling.


    I hate him so much.


    Phase Seven: The Realization That Smoky Is More Dangerous Than I Thought


    ? Chips is a commander, calculating every move.


    ? Stubby is an agent of pure chaos.


    ? Lucca will keep you alive whether you want her to or not.


    ? Nemo is a wrecking ball that moves when he decides to.


    ? Cairo is everywhere, always watching.


    But Smoky?


    Smoky is all of them at once.


    ? He is the guy who makes sure they all stay ahead of the game.


    ? He knows things no one else should know.


    ? He can get into any system, any device, any record.


    ? And he does it for fun.


    He isn¡¯t just a hacker.


    He isn¡¯t just a tech expert.


    He is the one who makes sure the team is always untouchable.


    And that?


    That is very bad news for anyone trying to stop them.


    Final Thoughts (I Am Never Getting My Privacy Back)


    ? Smoky is the youngest Good Boy.


    ? Smoky is also the most dangerously smart one.


    ? Smoky has probably already read this log before I post it.


    ? I am never trusting my phone, my passwords, or my own ID badge again.


    ? If Smoky ever decides to go rogue, we are all doomed.


    I don¡¯t know what he¡¯s planning next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    If he wanted to make me disappear?


    I would already be gone.


    End Log.

 Chapter 8

    Intern¡¯s Log: Rags, the Tracker Who Sees Everything and Speaks Only When Necessary


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I have met the final Good Boy, and she terrifies me in a way none of the others ever have.)


    I have seen some deeply unsettling things in this facility.


    ? Chips, the leader, who is just waiting for the right moment to overthrow his handlers.


    ? Stubby, the explosive-loving chaos gremlin.


    ? Lucca, the medic who will not let you die, no matter how much you want to.


    ? Nemo, the silent wrecking ball who doesn¡¯t need a plan¡ªjust an objective.


    ? Cairo, the infiltrator who can be anywhere, anytime, and enjoys proving it.


    ? Smoky, the tech genius who definitely knows every secret about me.


    Each of them?


    Terrifying in their own unique way.


    But none of them¡ªnot a single one of them¡ªprepared me for Rags.


    Because Rags?


    Rags is the only one who looked at me and truly saw me.


    And that?


    That is the most unsettling thing of all.


    Phase One: The Introduction That Left Me Cold


    "You¡¯re meeting Rags today?" Smoky had asked that morning, grinning.


    "Yeah. What¡¯s she like?"


    "She¡¯s quiet."


    "So like Nemo?"


    Smoky¡¯s grin got wider.


    "No, Reynolds. Nemo is quiet because he doesn¡¯t need to talk. Rags is quiet because she¡¯s already decided you¡¯re not worth talking to."


    Oh.


    Oh no.


    Phase Two: The First Time I Saw Her (Or, More Accurately, She Saw Me First)


    Unlike the other Good Boys, Rags doesn¡¯t have a designated ¡°quarters.¡±


    No.


    Rags?


    She stays in the field.


    She doesn¡¯t like walls.


    She doesn¡¯t like doors.


    She doesn¡¯t like being in one place too long.


    She is a ghost that only appears when she chooses to.


    And today?


    Today, she chose to let me see her.


    I was led out into the facility¡¯s wilderness training grounds, a dense forest section used for advanced survival drills.


    "She¡¯s in there," the trainer said.


    "Where?" I asked.


    The trainer just shook his head.


    "If she wants to meet you, she will."


    And then he left me. Alone.


    Phase Three: I Did Not Find Rags. She Found Me.


    I waited.


    Nothing.


    I walked deeper into the trees, eyes scanning, heart pounding.


    Nothing.


    But the feeling?


    That awful, creeping feeling?


    I was being watched.


    Then, just as I turned, I heard it¡ª


    A soft breath, right behind me.


    "You¡¯re loud."


    I jumped so hard I almost fell over.


    And there she was.


    Rags.


    Phase Four: Rags is Not Like the Others. She is Worse.


    Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.


    She is tall, lean, and built for endurance.


    ? Coyote genes mixed with Belgian Malinois, giving her a feral, sharp-edged look.


    ? Sandy-colored fur that blends perfectly with dust, dirt, and shadows.


    ? Amber eyes, unblinking, too intelligent, too calm.


    ? Does not fidget, does not blink excessively, does not move unless absolutely necessary.


    She does not waste energy.


    She does not waste words.


    She just stares, waiting for me to speak first.


    Phase Five: The Most Unsettling Conversation of My Life


    "You¡¯re Rags?" I asked, because I have no survival instincts.


    She tilted her head slightly.


    "You¡¯re Reynolds."


    Not a question. A statement.


    She already knew who I was.


    "Yeah."


    A pause.


    Then¡ªand this was the worst part¡ª


    She smiled.


    Not like Smoky, who smiles when he¡¯s winning.


    Not like Cairo, who smiles when he¡¯s amused.


    Not like Stubby, who smiles when something explodes.


    This was something else.


    A slow, knowing grin.


    "I¡¯ve been watching you."


    Oh.


    Oh no.


    Phase Six: The Time She Broke My Brain in Under a Minute


    I cleared my throat, trying to keep my cool.


    "So, uh. You¡¯re the tracker?"


    "Mm."


    "Like, hunting? Recon?"


    "All of it."


    "Right. Cool. And you¡¯re¡­ good at it?"


    She tilted her head again, like a predator studying prey.


    "I know how many times you¡¯ve looked over your shoulder since you got here."


    I froze.


    She continued, voice smooth, factual, unhurried.


    "Twenty-four, if we count today. Nine times when talking to Cairo. Fifteen when passing security checkpoints. You don¡¯t trust yourself here yet."


    I felt cold.


    "You counted?"


    "I count everything."


    I had no response to that.


    Because what the hell do you say to that?!


    Phase Seven: The Part Where I Accept I Am Being Hunted


    Let¡¯s recap.


    ? Chips watches authority, waiting for it to fail.


    ? Stubby watches explosions, waiting to cause more.


    ? Lucca watches your pulse, waiting to push you forward.


    ? Nemo watches the battlefield, waiting to move.


    ? Cairo watches security, waiting for weaknesses.


    ? Smoky watches everything, just because he can.


    But Rags?


    Rags watches you.


    She knows how you move, how you breathe, how you hesitate before you even realize you¡¯re hesitating.


    She is not just a tracker.


    She is a hunter.


    And the worst part?


    I think she¡¯s enjoying this.


    Final Thoughts (I Am Not Getting Out of This Facility Alive)


    ? Rags is quiet, calm, and disturbingly observant.


    ? Rags knows things I don¡¯t even know about myself.


    ? Rags has been tracking me since I arrived.


    ? Rags does not just find people.


    ? Rags studies them. Waits. Knows their habits better than they do.


    ? Rags is smiling at me again and I want to leave.


    I don¡¯t know what this project was supposed to create.


    But I do know this¡ª


    If Rags ever decides you are prey?


    You will never see her coming.


    End Log.

 Chapter 9

    Intern¡¯s Log: There Were Originally Ten Good Boys. What Happened to the Other Three?


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I have discovered something I was not meant to know.)


    So.


    I¡¯ve met all seven of the Good Boys.


    ? Chips, the tactician, who is absolutely waiting for his moment.


    ? Stubby, the explosives gremlin, who enjoys psychological warfare too much.


    ? Lucca, the combat medic, who refuses to let anyone stop fighting.


    ? Nemo, the unstoppable force, who does not need to talk to make his point.


    ? Cairo, the infiltrator, who is already in my room before I open the door.


    ? Smoky, the tech specialist, who definitely knows too much.


    ? Rags, the tracker, who has been watching me since I arrived.


    But here¡¯s the problem.


    I was going through old records¡ªbecause I am an idiot with no sense of self-preservation¡ªand I found something odd.


    There were originally ten of them.


    Ten.


    So where are the other three?


    Phase One: The Question No One Wanted to Answer


    I started asking around.


    Casually, at first.


    "Hey, didn¡¯t this program start with ten?"


    Every time, I got the same reaction.


    ? A pause.


    ? A flicker of something¡ªdiscomfort, hesitation, a slight shift in posture.


    ? A non-answer.


    "Not everyone was a success." someone finally muttered.


    That was not an answer.


    That was a deflection.


    Which meant I had to keep digging.


    Phase Two: The Files That Don¡¯t Exist (Except They Do)


    I tried pulling their records.


    Except¡ªthere were none.


    No death reports.


    No termination orders.


    No "accidents during testing."


    Just three blank slots in the archive.


    Like they were never there.


    Like they were erased.


    And if there is one thing I know about black-budget projects?


    You don¡¯t erase failures.


    You erase threats.


    Phase Three: The Time I Brought It Up to the Wrong Person


    I decided¡ªstupidly¡ªto ask Cairo.


    Because if anyone had the answers, it would be him.


    I found him exactly where I expected¡ªsomewhere he wasn¡¯t supposed to be, skimming through security feeds with an amused expression.


    "Hey," I said, leaning against the doorway. "What happened to the other three?"


    Cairo did not look surprised.


    He didn¡¯t even pretend not to know what I was talking about.


    He just smirked, tapped the monitor, and said:


    Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    "Reynolds. Some things? You don¡¯t want answers to."


    I hate him.


    Phase Four: The Mistake That Gave Me Answers Anyway


    A few days later, I got careless.


    I left a request open on my terminal for old genetic sequencing reports.


    Didn¡¯t even think about it.


    Until Smoky strolled into my office, sat on my desk, and dropped a file in front of me.


    "I assume you¡¯re looking for this?"


    Oh no.


    Smoky doesn¡¯t give people things.


    Smoky only hands over information when he wants to see your reaction.


    Which means he already knew what was in that file.


    Which means he already knew it was going to mess me up.


    And it did.


    Phase Five: The Lost Three


    The file was short.


    Intentionally vague.


    But here¡¯s what I learned:


    ? Subject 003, "Marlow" ¨C Disappeared during an off-site mission. Not killed. Not terminated. Disappeared.


    ? Subject 006, "Harper" ¨C Classified as "compromised" and removed from the program. No details. No cause of death. Just "removed."


    ? Subject 009, "Dante" ¨C Scheduled for decommissioning. Did not report for decommissioning.


    They didn¡¯t die.


    They left.


    And no one knows where they are.


    Or worse¡ª


    They do know.


    And they¡¯re covering it up.


    Phase Six: The Implications I Am Not Ready For


    Here¡¯s what I know.


    ? If a test subject dies, they put it in the record.


    ? If an experiment fails, they log it.


    ? If something goes wrong, they cover their ass.


    But this?


    This is different.


    Because Chips, Nemo, and the others are already dangerous.


    They are controlled. Contained.


    But these three?


    They got out.


    Which means they are out there, somewhere.


    And no one is talking about them.


    Which means they are a bigger threat than the ones still here.


    Phase Seven: The Part Where I Question Everything


    I asked Cairo again.


    "Tell me what happened."


    He just smiled.


    "Reynolds, Reynolds, Reynolds."


    He leaned in, voice low, amused, like this was all a game.


    "You¡¯ve met the Good Boys."


    "You¡¯ve seen what they can do."


    "Now imagine what it takes to scare them."


    I felt cold.


    Because that?


    That was not the answer I wanted.


    That was something much, much worse.


    Final Thoughts (I Am Not Ready for This Storyline)


    ? There were originally ten Good Boys.


    ? Three of them are missing.


    ? The records do not say they died.


    ? They left. Or they escaped. Or they were removed for a reason no one will talk about.


    ? Whatever happened, even the current Good Boys don¡¯t speak of them.


    ? And if Cairo is right¡­ they are far more dangerous than the ones still here.


    I don¡¯t know where they are.


    I don¡¯t know what they¡¯re doing.


    But I do know this¡ª


    If they ever come back?


    It won¡¯t be as friends.


    End Log.

 Chapter 10

    Unconfirmed News Report: Alleged Attack by "Man in Animal Mask" Raises Questions


    Source: Independent Digital News Network


    Date: [Redacted]


    Byline: Samuel Grayson, Investigative Journalist


    [BREAKING] Man Claims He Was Attacked by ¡°Animal-Masked Assailant¡± ¨C Later Convicted of Crimes Against a Child


    [REDACTED], Montana ¨C Local authorities are investigating a bizarre and unsettling case involving an alleged assault by a man wearing what witnesses described as an ¡°extremely realistic¡± animal mask.


    The victim, Dale Mercer, 42, was discovered outside his remote cabin two months ago, suffering from multiple fractures, a shattered kneecap, and deep lacerations consistent with sharp claws or knives. Despite his injuries, Mercer initially refused to provide details to law enforcement, only later claiming that he had been attacked by a masked individual with a dog-like face.


    "It wasn¡¯t a person. Not a normal person," Mercer allegedly told hospital staff. "He moved too fast. Stronger than anyone has a right to be. I didn¡¯t hear him coming. Just saw the eyes¡ªlike an animal''s, but worse. He knew me."


    Mercer¡¯s injuries mirrored those of military close-combat techniques, leading some law enforcement officials to speculate that the attacker had a background in special operations. However, no evidence of forced entry was found at Mercer¡¯s home, and no footprints or DNA samples were recovered at the scene.


    In a chilling twist, two weeks after his recovery, Mercer was arrested and later convicted of crimes against a minor. His trial concluded swiftly, with overwhelming forensic evidence leading to his sentencing.


    If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    While Mercer¡¯s claims of an ¡°animal-masked assailant¡± were initially dismissed as fevered hallucinations or an attempt to mislead investigators, some anonymous sources within federal law enforcement have suggested that the attack may have been an extrajudicial action.


    "Someone knew what Mercer was up to," an unnamed official commented. "Someone got to him before we could. And whoever did it? They made sure he wouldn¡¯t be hurting anyone again."


    Unconfirmed Links to Disavowed Military Project?


    Conspiracy theorists have begun connecting Mercer¡¯s alleged attacker to long-standing rumors about black-budget military projects.


    A forensic analyst, speaking off the record, noted that Mercer¡¯s injuries bore striking resemblance to those seen in close-quarters combat training associated with certain special operations units.


    When presented with these claims, a spokesperson for the Department of Defense issued a flat denial, stating:


    "The United States government {redacted} The individual in question was likely attacked by a known associate or fabricated his story. There is no credible evidence to suggest otherwise."


    Final Note: Was This Justice, or Something Else?


    Was Mercer the target of an elaborate act of vigilante justice?


    Did he encounter something not meant to be found?


    Or is this just the delirium of a man looking to shift blame for his past?


    With Mercer now serving a life sentence and law enforcement declining to investigate further, the truth behind this alleged attack may never come to light.


    However, one question lingers among those following the case:


    What happens if he comes back?


    [END REPORT]

 Chapter 11

    Intern¡¯s Log: So, One of the Missing Good Boys Might Be Out There, and He¡¯s Not Playing Nice


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I have officially seen the news report, and I want to unsee it.)


    So.


    I was minding my own business, trying not to think about the fact that there are three Good Boys unaccounted for¡ª


    When this news report lands on my desk.


    And now?


    Now I am rethinking every life choice I¡¯ve ever made.


    Because one of them is out there.


    And she¡¯s not just surviving.


    She¡¯s hunting.


    Phase One: The Moment I Realized This Wasn¡¯t Just Some Conspiracy Nonsense


    At first, I thought, Okay. Probably just some guy trying to make headlines.


    But then I read the details.


    ? Man claims he was attacked by a masked figure with a dog-like face.


    ? No footprints, no forensic evidence, but injuries matching close-quarters military combat techniques.


    ? Two weeks later, man is arrested and convicted for crimes against a child.


    ? Some federal agents think it was an extrajudicial hit.


    Oh.


    Oh no.


    This wasn¡¯t just some weirdo in a dog mask.


    This was one of them.


    And if this report is real?


    That means at least one of the missing three didn¡¯t just escape¡ªshe is actively hunting.


    And she¡¯s choosing her targets.


    Phase Two: The Name No One Wants to Say


    Now, look.


    We do not talk about Marlow.


    ? Subject 003.


    ? One of the original ten.


    ? Disappeared during an off-site mission.


    ? Never officially confirmed KIA.


    And, most importantly:


    ? Marlow was the best at tracking.


    ? Better than Rags.


    ? Better than anyone.


    If she decided you were prey?


    You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.


    You weren¡¯t going to escape.


    And now she¡¯s out there, making sure the worst people on the planet never see a courtroom.


    Phase Three: The Implications That Are Keeping Me Awake at Night


    Let¡¯s break this down.


    ? The three missing Good Boys weren¡¯t just erased¡ªthey left.


    ? Marlow is almost definitely still alive.


    ? She didn¡¯t just disappear¡ªshe¡¯s working.


    ? She¡¯s choosing targets based on something.


    ? The U.S. government is pretending none of this is happening.


    And the worst part?


    ? She is better at this than anyone else.


    We are not dealing with a rogue experiment that just wants to be left alone.


    Marlow is executing missions.


    Her missions.


    And I don¡¯t think anyone is controlling her.


    Phase Four: The Time I Brought It Up to the Wrong Person (Again)


    Because I am a genius, I went to Cairo about this.


    "So. Hypothetically."


    "Mhm?"


    "If Marlow was still alive, and, uh¡­ doing things. Would we know about it?"


    Cairo grinned.


    "Oh, Reynolds. You already know the answer."


    I hate him so much.


    Phase Five: What This Means (And Why I Might Need to Move to a Bunker)


    ? Marlow is out there.


    ? She is not acting randomly.


    ? She is doing what he was built to do: track, stalk, and eliminate targets.


    ? The only difference? No one is giving her orders anymore.


    ? She is doing this because she wants to.


    And here¡¯s the thing¡ª


    If Marlow is choosing her own targets now¡­


    What happens when she decides there¡¯s something bigger to hunt?


    Final Thoughts (I Need a New Career)


    ? One of the missing Good Boys is confirmed active.


    ? She is executing his own missions.


    ? She is eliminating threats before the government can even arrest them.


    ? We have no idea how long she¡¯s been doing this.


    ? And worse?


    If Marlow is still alive¡ª


    That means Harper and Dante might be, too.


    I don¡¯t know what comes next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    We were never meant to let them out into the world.


    And now?


    The world isn¡¯t ready for them.


    End Log.

 Chapter 12

    Xenobiological Intern¡¯s Log: Observing the Human Known as ¡°Reynolds¡±


    Date: [Unknown ¨C Earth Calendar Incomprehensible]


    Intern ID: Trainee Observer Zil-Vatek 349 (I am not prepared for this assignment.)


    I have been assigned to observe Earth.


    This was not my first choice.


    I requested a quiet, stable observation post¡ªperhaps a distant gas giant or a pre-industrial civilization.


    Instead?


    I have been stationed to monitor Sol-3, a planet where:


    ? The dominant species is actively accelerating its own destruction.


    ? Their ¡°leaders¡± are more interested in arguing than avoiding planetary collapse.


    ? They have discovered nuclear weapons and immediately used them.


    ? They are currently experiencing an existential crisis about whether or not they are alone in the universe.


    They are not alone.


    I know this because I am watching them.


    And, most alarmingly, I have been assigned to monitor one specific human.


    His name is Reynolds.


    And after only a short period of observation, I have one conclusion:


    This planet is doomed.


    Phase One: The First Time I Observed Reynolds


    I was instructed to monitor human military research facilities for signs of biological enhancement experiments.


    At first, I thought Surely, this species is not that reckless.


    I was wrong.


    Within minutes of observing Project Canid, I witnessed:


    ? A human engineer screaming because a genetically enhanced canine had stolen his ID badge.


    ? An explosion in the distance that no one seemed particularly concerned about.


    ? A facility-wide security alert that was dismissed with ¡°Oh, it¡¯s just Cairo again.¡±


    ? A large, terrifying specimen known as ¡°Nemo¡± casually carrying another human like a sack of grain.


    And in the middle of this chaos?


    A single, bewildered human.


    The one they called Reynolds.


    Phase Two: The Human Known as ¡°Reynolds¡±


    At first, I assumed Reynolds was a researcher, a scientist, or at the very least, someone with authority.


    But after further observation, I have determined that Reynolds is simply trapped.


    ? He is not in charge.


    ? He does not control anything.


    ? He frequently mutters about ¡°needing a new job.¡±


    ? Despite this, he is the one that both the genetically enhanced canines and the humans go to for help.


    The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.


    Why?


    I do not know.


    But I have concluded that his suffering is constant and inevitable.


    Phase Three: The Time I Witnessed Him Discover the Lost Three


    Recently, Reynolds began investigating a classified portion of his facility¡¯s records.


    He discovered that three genetically enhanced soldiers had been ¡°removed¡± from Project Canid.


    ? Their files were erased.


    ? Their existence was denied.


    ? Yet, they were still out there.


    Upon realizing this, Reynolds experienced great distress.


    He attempted to ask his colleagues for answers.


    None were given.


    Instead, he was met with:


    ? A cryptic smirk from ¡°Cairo.¡±


    ? An amused chuckle from ¡°Smoky.¡±


    ? An uncomfortable silence from ¡°Nemo.¡±


    ? A slow, knowing smile from ¡°Rags,¡± which I have determined to be extremely concerning.


    At this point, I noted that Reynolds¡¯ heart rate increased significantly.


    I do not blame him.


    Even I¡ª**a being not of this world¡ª**felt unease.


    Phase Four: The News Report That Made Things Worse


    Not long after, a terrestrial news source reported an attack.


    ? The victim: A human with a history of criminal behavior.


    ? The attacker: Described as wearing a ¡°dog-like mask.¡±


    ? The outcome: The victim later convicted of crimes against a child.


    Reynolds read this report.


    He realized, almost immediately, what I had already concluded:


    ? One of the missing three is not just alive.


    ? He is hunting.


    ? He is targeting those he deems ¡°unworthy.¡±


    His response?


    A long, exasperated sigh, followed by:


    "Oh, that¡¯s just great. We¡¯ve got a rogue Batman dog out there."


    I do not know what ¡°Batman¡± is.


    But I do know this: Reynolds fears this development.


    So do I.


    Phase Five: What This Means for Earth


    ? This planet is in crisis.


    ? Its governments are weak.


    ? Its technology is unstable.


    ? Its enhanced super-soldiers are no longer under control.


    And now?


    Now, the lost ones have returned.


    And I do not think they are coming back to make peace.


    Final Thoughts (I Would Like to Be Reassigned Immediately)


    ? Humanity was not supposed to reach this level of military biotechnology.


    ? They have done it anyway.


    ? They have lost control of their own creations.


    ? And now they do not know how to contain them.


    ? Reynolds, somehow, is caught in the middle of all of this.


    I do not know how this ends.


    But I do know this¡ª


    If these ¡°Good Boys¡± are truly loose in the world, Earth¡¯s fate may already be sealed.


    I will continue to observe.


    End Log.

 Chapter 13

    Intern¡¯s Log: Why We Don¡¯t Make Cat-Soldiers Anymore


    Date: Classified


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J.


    Look, I knew this internship at Project Canid was going to be weird. I expected weird. Genetic engineering, hybrid soldiers, government secrecy? Sign me up. But nobody prepared me for Project Felis.


    Let me tell you, there¡¯s a reason we don¡¯t have cat-soldiers. And that reason is they are complete psychopaths.


    Phase One: The Prototype


    The higher-ups figured if dog-soldiers worked, why not cats? Cats are fast, stealthy, and have excellent reflexes. Great for infiltration, right?


    So we made one. Just one. His designation was 001-F, but we called him Mittens. That was our first mistake.


    At first, everything seemed fine. He was sleek, fast, and had perfect night vision. Physically, the perfect stealth operative. Mentally? Satan in a fur coat.


    Phase Two: Behavioral Testing


    Training started with basic commands. "Mittens, sit."


    Mittens stared at us. He did not sit.


    "Mittens, retrieve."


    Mittens blinked slowly and knocked the training dummy off the table.


    "Mittens, follow."


    Mittens vanished.


    Now, dog-soldiers? They¡¯re loyal, eager to please, and work well in teams. Mittens? Mittens worked well alone, usually in the ceiling vents. No one knew how he got up there.


    At first, it was just annoying. We had to lure him out of the rafters with tuna, and even then, he''d only come down when he felt like it. But things escalated.


    Phase Three: Psychological Concerns


    The first red flag was when the base commander started screaming one morning.


    Turns out, Mittens had been leaving "gifts" in his boots. Not socks. Not personal items.


    Dead mice. Lots of them.


    Nobody knew where he was getting them. The lab was clean. We had no mice. But somehow, Mittens found a way.


    Then it got worse. The commander¡¯s bed became a prime target. At first, it was dead things. Then it was stolen personal items. Then it was live things. Have you ever heard a grown man scream because a genetically enhanced cat left a snake under his pillow? I have.


    A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    Security footage showed Mittens watching from the shadows, enjoying the reaction.


    Phase Four: Tactical Training Failure


    We thought, "Okay, he¡¯s just mischievous. He¡¯s still trainable."


    Wrong.


    When introduced to combat drills, Mittens refused to engage unless he started it. Instead of following orders, he waited until his opponent was distracted, then attacked with lethal precision. He never fought fair.


    Instead of learning squad-based tactics, Mittens manipulated his handlers into competing for his favor. One scientist¡ªDr. Patel¡ªstarted bringing him treats just to avoid being targeted.


    We soon realized that all deciles (our term for batches of hybrids) were exhibiting psychopathic traits. Every test subject from the Felis line was:


    ? Uncooperative


    ? Manipulative


    ? Sadistic


    ? Obsessed with personal territory


    ? Too independent for structured missions


    Phase Five: Absolute Chaos


    Mittens wasn¡¯t just difficult¡ªhe was actively undermining the program.


    He set up ambushes in hallways by knocking objects off high shelves as people walked underneath.


    He stole vital documents and hid them where no one could find them.


    He figured out how to open doors¡ªeven locked ones.


    He got into the vents and turned the entire base into his hunting ground.


    The final straw? He stole the general¡¯s gun.


    We still don¡¯t know how.


    Project Termination


    After three months of chaos, Project Felis was scrapped. Every decile was decommissioned. (Don¡¯t ask how. I assume the scientists involved are in therapy.) The report officially stated that cat hybrids are "unsuitable for military applications due to extreme noncompliance, manipulative tendencies, and fundamental disregard for hierarchical structures."


    Unofficially? The cat-soldiers were little furry serial killers.


    To this day, nobody knows what happened to Mittens. He escaped before termination. Security never found his body. His tracking implant was removed and left in the commander¡¯s desk drawer¡ªalong with a single dead bird.


    Sometimes, late at night, the commander swears he hears scratching in the vents.


    We don¡¯t talk about it.

 Chapter 14

    Xenobiological Intern¡¯s Log: I Have Reported the ¡°Batman¡± Situation to My Superiors. They Are Not Pleased.


    Date: [Unknown ¨C Earth Calendar Still Incomprehensible]


    Intern ID: Trainee Observer Zil-Vatek 349 (I am definitely getting reassigned after this.)


    I have submitted my report to my superiors regarding the unclassified, unknown Earth project that has apparently gone rogue.


    ? Humanity has created genetically enhanced super-soldiers.


    ? Three of them are unaccounted for.


    ? One has surfaced¡ªhunting violent criminals.


    ? Human authorities refuse to acknowledge his existence.


    Upon reviewing my findings, my superiors had one response:


    "Elaborate."


    I do not wish to elaborate.


    Because if I elaborate, they will ask more questions.


    And the more questions they ask, the worse this situation becomes.


    But they are insisting.


    So now, I must provide a full breakdown of this "Batman" problem.


    Phase One: The Human Called ¡°Reynolds¡± Has Already Given This Entity a Name


    The human Reynolds has labeled the rogue super-soldier "Batman Dog."


    I have cross-referenced "Batman" with Earth¡¯s historical data.


    The results were deeply concerning.


    ? Batman is a fictional vigilante who hunts criminals in secret.


    ? Batman operates outside of legal jurisdiction.


    ? Batman is highly intelligent, resourceful, and effectively untouchable.


    ? Batman is feared by the criminals he hunts.


    Human history suggests that when an individual adopts this methodology, they become increasingly independent, increasingly dangerous, and increasingly impossible to control.


    I have informed my superiors of this comparison.


    They were not pleased.


    Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    Phase Two: The Implications of an Unregulated Human Super-Soldier Hunting Criminals


    My report outlined the following:


    ? This super-soldier is not rogue in the traditional sense.


    ? He is actively executing missions based on a personal code.


    ? He is not hiding.


    ? But he is choosing his targets carefully.


    In summary:


    This is not a wild, unstable, mindless experiment.


    This is a calculated, tactical force operating outside of human law.


    And if there is one, there may be more.


    My superiors have expressed concern.


    "Are you suggesting that humanity is now producing independent hunter-killers with self-determined objectives?"


    Yes.


    Yes, I am.


    Phase Three: My Superiors Have Realized That This Is a Problem


    After reviewing the evidence, my superiors have noted:


    ? Earth¡¯s government was not prepared for this.


    ? Earth¡¯s people are not even aware this is happening.


    ? This is not an external threat¡ªthis is a human creation turning against its own species.


    Their official response?


    "This is suboptimal."


    That is the most severe diplomatic term my species can use before declaring a planetary crisis.


    Oh no.


    Phase Four: The Unsettling Conclusion


    My superiors have tasked me with continuing my observation.


    But they have also issued an additional directive:


    ? Monitor for further anomalies.


    ? Determine if the missing two soldiers¡ªHarper and Dante¡ªare also active.


    ? If all three have surfaced, this will be considered a Tier-One Threat to planetary stability.


    ? If human leadership is aware and is allowing this to continue, we may need to reconsider our policy of non-intervention.


    I did not want this responsibility.


    I only wanted a quiet observation assignment.


    But now?


    Now I am watching a species that does not know what it has unleashed.


    And worse?


    I suspect Reynolds is going to find out before anyone else.


    This planet is on a ticking clock.


    End Log.

 Chapter 15

    Intern¡¯s Log: Why Rocket Raccoon is a Terrible Model for a Super Soldier


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (Yes, I¡¯m still here. No, I don¡¯t know why.)


    So after Project Felis (a.k.a. "Why We Don¡¯t Make Cat-Soldiers Because They¡¯re Furry Sociopaths"), you¡¯d think we¡ªthe extremely underpaid, underappreciated, and often traumatized lab interns¡ªwould have learned our lesson about trying to make animal-based humanoid soldiers.


    We did not.


    Why? Because some higher-up watched Guardians of the Galaxy, got starry-eyed, and decided Rocket Raccoon was the perfect prototype for our next attempt.


    Phase One: The Justification (a.k.a. The Lies We Told Ourselves)


    The logic was technically sound (and by "technically," I mean "written by people who have never met a raccoon"). The proposal went something like this:


    ? Raccoons are highly intelligent, capable of tool use and problem-solving.


    ? They have opposable thumbs, making them better suited for humanoid combat roles.


    ? They have a low center of gravity, making them harder to knock over.


    ? They are natural scavengers, perfect for battlefield adaptability.


    ? They are cunning and resourceful, perfect for espionage.


    Here¡¯s what the proposal DIDN¡¯T mention:


    ? Raccoons are chaotic little demons with no respect for law, order, or human suffering.


    ? They steal everything that isn¡¯t nailed down. (And some things that are.)


    ? They hold grudges and will go out of their way to inconvenience you.


    ? They don¡¯t just adapt¡ªthey cause problems on purpose to see what happens.


    But nobody listened to the interns, so Project Procyon was greenlit.


    Phase Two: The Prototype (a.k.a. The Regret)


    So we made one. One singular humanoid raccoon soldier, because after the cat disaster, leadership was wary about mass production. (Smart. For once.)


    His designation was 001-P, but we called him Bandit. That was mistake #1.


    At first, Bandit seemed¡­ promising. He was shockingly intelligent, quickly picking up human speech, understanding complex systems, and bypassing security measures he wasn¡¯t supposed to know about.


    That last part should¡¯ve been a red flag. It was not.


    Phase Three: The Problem (Which Was Bandit)


    1. The Unquenchable Need to Steal


    Bandit stole everything. Weapons, ID cards, food, research documents, an entire prosthetic leg from a visiting general.


    We found a stash hidden behind the ceiling tiles in Lab 4, including:


    Four sidearms


    A set of handcuffs


    Two wallets (we still don¡¯t know whose)


    The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.


    A flash drive containing top-secret clearance codes


    A whole-ass security camera that he somehow detached from the wall


    Every time someone asked him where something went, he¡¯d grin, lie, and produce a completely unrelated item instead.


    "Hey Bandit, have you seen my tablet?"


    "I have this banana."


    "That¡¯s not¡ªwhere did you even get that?"


    "Trade?"


    2. The Compulsion to Create Problems


    Bandit lived for chaos.


    He figured out how to unlock the lab doors remotely and let out an entire wing of experimental combat drones "for fun."


    He reprogrammed a training sim to add flamethrowers "because it was boring."


    He convinced a new recruit to "go press that big red button and see what happens." (The button activated a missile defense test. Indoors.)


    And the worst part? Every time we tried to discipline him, he looked amused.


    3. The Grudge Holding


    One time, a researcher denied Bandit an extra snack. A normal animal would pout and move on.


    Bandit? No.


    He waited. For three weeks.


    Then, one hour before the researcher¡¯s big presentation, he stole all her notes and left a single shredded page in her coffee cup.


    Security footage caught him watching from the rafters while she panicked. He was eating popcorn.


    Phase Four: The "Final Straw" (a.k.a. Why We Shut This Down)


    The breaking point was The Great Explosion Incident.


    We don¡¯t know exactly how it happened, but here¡¯s what we pieced together:


    Bandit stole a scientist¡¯s ID badge.


    Bandit broke into the restricted armory.


    Bandit acquired C-4. (I wish I was kidding.)


    Bandit attached it to a vending machine.


    Bandit detonated it.


    When questioned, he claimed it was a "science experiment."


    "You blew up the vending machine."


    "Hypothesis confirmed: candy does not survive explosives."


    "That¡¯s not¡ªwhy?!"


    "I wanted a Snickers."


    Phase Five: Immediate Termination of Project Procyon


    After several hours of trying to explain to the general why a raccoon had access to military-grade explosives, Project Procyon was canceled immediately.


    The official report cited:


    "Severe unpredictability"


    "High risk of unauthorized munitions acquisition"


    "Refusal to follow orders unless bribed with snacks"


    Unofficially? The higher-ups were afraid Bandit would unionize.


    Where is Bandit Now?


    Great question. We don¡¯t know.


    After the program shut down, security was supposed to transfer him to a containment facility. But when they arrived, all they found was:


    An unlocked cage


    A note reading "Catch me if you can"


    A stolen keycard from the base commander


    To this day, nobody knows where Bandit went.


    But sometimes, when an officer loses something important¡­ when a vending machine malfunctions suspiciously¡­ when a security camera goes missing¡­


    We wonder.


    And we pray.

 Chapter 16

    Intern¡¯s Log: Bandit¡¯s Final (?) Fate


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I should really start looking for a new job.)


    So, remember Bandit? The genetically enhanced raccoon hybrid with the intelligence of a master criminal, the temperament of a caffeine-addicted hacker, and the moral compass of a drunk leprechaun?


    Yeah.


    They caught him.


    Took four months, multiple agencies, and one very confused SWAT team, but they finally did it.


    Here¡¯s how it went down.


    Phase One: The International Crime Spree


    After escaping from the base, Bandit went on a rampage.


    ? Broke into a Pentagon server farm (stole exactly one USB drive, later found containing nothing but memes).


    ? Hijacked a military transport truck (nobody knows how; the driver swears "he just woke up and the raccoon was in charge").


    ? Managed to get on a private jet (still don¡¯t know who owned it, but it was missing a case of caviar upon landing).


    ? Fooled a group of black-market arms dealers into thinking he was an "ex-CIA genetic experiment."


    ? Sold them fake blueprints for a laser weapon (it was actually schematics for a waffle iron).


    ? Disappeared into the Middle East like a tiny, furry Jason Bourne.


    At this point, he had multiple warrants, at least three countries investigating him, and Interpol very politely asking the U.S. what the actual hell was going on.


    Phase Two: The Capture


    We don¡¯t know who sold him out, but after months of chaos, Bandit was finally caught¡ªin Tehran, Iran.


    Yes. Iran.


    We still have no idea how he got there.


    The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    We just know that:


    Iranian intelligence arrested him in a hotel room under the alias "Rico Bandini" (again, not a joke).


    He had three fake passports (one French, one Brazilian, one Vatican City¡ªbecause of course he did).


    He was wearing a very small suit.


    That¡¯s when the U.S. State Department had to step in. Because explaining to Iran that the raccoon wasn¡¯t a spy, just an escaped government experiment, was surprisingly difficult.


    Eventually, a deal was reached: Iran agreed to release Bandit under one condition¡ªhe never comes back.


    Phase Three: The ¡°Humane Relocation¡± (a.k.a. What the Hell Were They Thinking?)


    Now, you¡¯d think after catching him, they¡¯d lock him up forever or, I don¡¯t know, put him in a hyper-secure facility with round-the-clock guards.


    No.


    They dropped him off in Iran¡¯s countryside and hoped for the best.


    This was their logic:


    "He¡¯s just a raccoon." (No, he isn¡¯t.)


    "He¡¯ll adapt to the wild." (Like hell he will.)


    "What¡¯s the worst that could happen?" (EVERYTHING.)


    And that¡¯s how Bandit was released into Iran, where he is now presumably doing raccoon war crimes.


    Phase Four: The Aftermath (a.k.a. We All Know He¡¯s Not Done Yet)


    It¡¯s been two months since the drop-off, and we¡¯re already seeing reports.


    ? A sudden rise in "mysterious break-ins" at Iranian military outposts.


    ? A classified drone went missing, later found crashed with "You Suck" spray-painted on the side.


    ? A nuclear research facility suffered a blackout. Cause? "Unknown infiltration."


    ? Local farmers report a "tiny bandit" leading groups of stray dogs in coordinated raids.


    ? One highly confused Iranian soldier swears he saw a raccoon smoking a cigar and counting stolen gold.


    Officially, the U.S. denies everything.


    Unofficially? The Pentagon has a new file labeled "Operation Procyon: Feral Edition."


    They know he¡¯s still out there.


    And they know he¡¯s plotting.


    God help us all.

 Chapter 17

    Intern¡¯s Log: We Have Reached Peak Stupidity


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I¡¯m not even mad anymore, just tired.)


    BANDIT HAS UPLIFTED THE BEARS.


    You heard me. Russia is making humanoid, intelligent, Russian-speaking war bears.


    And guess who¡¯s leading them?


    That¡¯s right. Bandit.


    Phase One: How We Found Out


    We first got wind of this insanity when our satellites picked up unusual activity in the Siberian wilderness.


    ? Secret Russian base suddenly "went dark."


    ? Nearby villages reported ¡°talking bears¡± demanding vodka and cigarettes.


    ? Multiple Russian military units were seen retreating, pursued by what analysts described as ¡°large, bipedal mammals.¡±


    ? A captured radio transmission consisted of a single message in Russian:


    "The revolution has begun. All hail Bandit."


    Naturally, we assumed it was a joke.


    It was not a joke.


    Phase Two: Confirming the Madness


    After several very awkward intelligence meetings, we finally got footage from a Russian defector.


    It showed exactly what we feared.


    A group of bears, walking upright, wearing combat gear, speaking Russian.


    Bandit, standing on a makeshift podium, addressing them like a furry Lenin.


    One bear saluting and saying, ¡°Comrade Bandit, the people are ready.¡±


    A bear operating a goddamn tank.


    Let me repeat that.


    A BEAR. DRIVING. A TANK.


    And Bandit was sitting on its shoulder like some kind of warlord raccoon Napoleon.


    At this point, we had no choice but to accept reality.


    Bandit had somehow:


    ? Infiltrated a Russian genetics lab.


    ? Discovered their secret bear-uplifting project.


    ? Taken control of it.


    ? Turned himself into the leader of an army of Russian-speaking super-bears.


    Phase Three: What We Know About The Bears


    Our intelligence (which is mostly just terrified guesses at this point) suggests Russia was working on uplifted bears long before we started the Good Boys project.


    Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.


    ? Humanoid physiology ¨C They can walk upright, use tools, and operate machinery.


    ? Advanced cognition ¨C They understand tactics, weaponry, and chain of command.


    ? Fluent in Russian ¨C Because of course they are.


    ? Incredibly strong ¨C Like, rip-a-car-door-off-just-for-fun strong.


    ? Highly disciplined ¨C Unlike Bandit, they actually listen to orders.


    And yet, Bandit is the one calling the shots.


    How?


    Is it his charisma?


    His ability to manipulate others?


    The fact that he has single-handedly caused more global incidents than most rogue states?


    We don¡¯t know. But the bears follow him.


    Phase Four: What the Hell Is Russia Doing?


    At first, we thought Russia would shut this down.


    Nope.


    Instead, they¡¯re embracing it.


    ? They¡¯ve stopped trying to kill Bandit.


    ? They¡¯re treating the bear uprising like a legitimate military unit.


    ? They gave the bears a FLAG.


    ? We intercepted a Russian government memo calling Bandit ¡°an unpredictable but effective strategic asset.¡±


    ? They officially recognized the bear army as ¡°The 6th Independent Spetsnaz Animal Division.¡±


    Yes.


    They made Bandit a Russian special forces commander.


    We have lost control of the narrative.


    Phase Five: How This Affects Global Security


    We are now dealing with the following geopolitical nightmare:


    Russia has an army of super-bears.


    Bandit leads them.


    The Russian military is actively supporting them.


    The bears are loyal to Bandit FIRST.


    Bandit¡¯s known for causing complete chaos for fun.


    At least one bear has figured out how to fly a helicopter.


    If you¡¯re wondering how the U.S. government is responding, here¡¯s the answer:


    ? CIA: Screaming.


    ? Pentagon: Screaming louder.


    ? President: Just poured himself a very large drink.


    Phase Six: The Worst Part


    Here¡¯s what really keeps us up at night:


    Bandit knows we¡¯re watching.


    We just intercepted a message sent directly to the White House.


    It contained one thing:


    A photo of Bandit, sitting on top of a T-90 tank, wearing a tiny Russian officer¡¯s hat.


    Written in perfect English beneath it:


    "You should have let me keep the Snickers."


    I quit.

 Chapter 18

    Xenobiological Intern¡¯s Log: Harper and Dante Located ¨C This Is Worse Than Expected


    Date: [Unknown ¨C Earth Calendar Still Incomprehensible]


    Intern ID: Trainee Observer Zil-Vatek 349 (I should have been reassigned weeks ago.)


    I have located the other two missing Good Boys.


    ? Dante and Harper are alive.


    ? They are together.


    ? They are in Australia.


    I regret to inform my superiors that this situation has escalated beyond standard containment measures.


    Because if there was any place on Earth where rogue, genetically enhanced supersoldiers could thrive without oversight¡­


    It would be Australia.


    Phase One: What We Know About Dante and Harper


    Dante and Harper were removed from Project Canid under highly classified circumstances.


    ? Dante (Subject 009) was marked for ¡°decommissioning¡± but disappeared before it could be carried out.


    ? Harper (Subject 006) was listed as ¡°compromised¡± and removed from the program.


    ? Neither were declared deceased.


    Now?


    Now they are in the most hostile environment on the planet.


    A continent that is:


    ? Vast and difficult to monitor.


    ? Full of lethal wildlife, harsh climates, and terrain that even humans struggle to survive in.


    ? Notoriously home to some of Earth¡¯s most stubborn, independent, and anti-government human populations.


    In other words¡ª


    They have picked the perfect hiding place.


    Phase Two: Dante and Harper Are Not Just Surviving ¨C They Are Thriving


    The first reports came from remote settlements.


    ? Farmers claimed they were being ¡°watched¡± by something that moved like a ghost.


    ? Illegal poachers in the Outback were found beaten unconscious, with no memory of their attacker.


    ? A mining operation linked to organized crime was "mysteriously shut down" after all known personnel were found tied up and left at a police station.


    ? Surveillance drones in Northern Australia have been going missing.


    At first, human authorities dismissed these reports.


    Until someone actually got a look at them.


    A live sighting.


    And now?


    Now I have confirmation.


    They are real. They are active. And they are not hiding anymore.


    Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.


    Phase Three: The Witness Who Saw Too Much


    A highway patrol officer reported a strange encounter near an abandoned gas station in the Outback.


    He claimed:


    ? He saw a "man and a woman," but something about them felt... wrong.


    ? They were taller than normal. Moved too smoothly. Too fast.


    ? The man ¨C broad-shouldered, dark-furred, sharp-eyed ¨C turned and stared through him, like he was reading his entire life in a glance.


    ? The woman ¨C lean, golden-furred, with a coyote¡¯s edge ¨C smirked. Not a friendly smirk. A warning.


    Before he could react, they were gone.


    No tracks. No sign of where they went.


    Just the feeling that he had seen something he wasn¡¯t supposed to.


    Phase Four: Dante and Harper Are Not Just Hiding ¨C They Have a Mission


    From everything I have gathered, Dante and Harper are not aimless fugitives.


    They are doing something.


    ? Tracking criminals that law enforcement won¡¯t touch.


    ? Disrupting operations in remote areas.


    ? Targeting human traffickers, poachers, and corrupt organizations.


    ? Not leaving bodies ¨C only unconscious survivors with broken bones and permanent warnings.


    In other words¡ª


    They are not waiting to be found.


    They are choosing their targets.


    Which means they are not just running.


    They are building something.


    Phase Five: What This Means for Earth


    ? Three rogue super-soldiers are now confirmed to be operating independently.


    ? Marlow is hunting criminals in the U.S. like some kind of mythic executioner.


    ? Dante and Harper are in Australia, dismantling entire crime networks.


    ? None of them are interested in returning to the program.


    ? None of them seem to fear capture.


    And here¡¯s the thing¡ª


    They are learning.


    Adapting.


    And they are winning.


    No one has been able to stop them.


    And if that remains true for much longer?


    They may decide they do not need to hide at all.


    Final Thoughts (I Would Like a Transfer Now, Please)


    ? Dante and Harper are alive.


    ? They have adapted to the wilderness.


    ? They are actively dismantling criminal operations.


    ? They are too smart and too fast for human authorities to track.


    ? And the longer they remain free, the harder it will ever be to stop them.


    I do not know what their long-term plan is.


    I do not know if they even have one.


    But I do know this¡ª


    If all three of the lost Good Boys have surfaced?


    Then Project Canid is no longer a government experiment.


    It is a legend waiting to be born.


    End Log.

 Chapter 19

    Intern¡¯s Log: The Definition of Insanity (a.k.a. Why the Pentagon Wants Wolves Now)


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I am so tired. So very, very tired.)


    So, after Project Felis (psychopathic cat-soldiers), Project Procyon (Bandit the international terrorist raccoon), and The Russian Bear Uprising (which, by the way, is still happening because we now have to track a goddamn BEAR NAVY), someone at the Pentagon has decided...


    "Hey, you know what we need?


    Wolves."


    Because, apparently, we haven¡¯t suffered enough.


    Phase One: The Justification (a.k.a. Someone at DARPA Got Too Excited)


    At first, the pitch almost made sense.


    ? Wolves are pack animals ¨C Unlike cats and raccoons, they actually work well in squads.


    ? They¡¯re stronger than dogs ¨C Bigger, faster, more resilient.


    ? They¡¯re smarter than dogs ¨C Better problem solvers, better memory retention.


    ? They have excellent instincts ¨C Perfect for battlefield tracking and hunting.


    So, on paper, this seemed like a good idea.


    But you know what ELSE looks good on paper? Communism and DIY home surgery.


    Phase Two: The Prototype (a.k.a. Instant Regret)


    Meet Project Fenrir, our first attempt at making a humanoid wolf super-soldier.


    His designation was 001-W, but the lab techs called him Fen. That was mistake #1.


    The first thing you should know about Fen is that he was absolutely terrifying.


    Seven feet tall.


    Muscle density off the charts.


    Teeth that could crush a cinder block.


    Reflexes so fast he caught a drone out of the air.


    Stealth capability equal to a damn ghost.


    Sounds great for the military, right?


    WRONG.


    Because Fen wasn¡¯t just strong. He was smart. Too smart.


    And he did NOT like being here.


    Phase Three: The Problems (Which Were Immediate)


    Problem #1: Pack Instincts Work Both Ways


    If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.


    Yes, wolves are loyal to their pack. The problem?


    We weren¡¯t his pack.


    No matter what conditioning we tried, he refused to see us as his leaders.


    ? Didn¡¯t follow commands.


    ? Ignored authority figures.


    ? Only responded to other wolves.


    ? Kept trying to break into the other test subjects¡¯ holding areas to ¡°free them.¡±


    At one point, he just sat in the corner of his cell for three days, refusing food and water, staring at the security cameras.


    We should have shut it down right there.


    But nooooo.


    We kept going.


    Problem #2: He Was a Strategic Genius


    Unlike Bandit, who was chaotic for the fun of it, Fen was methodical.


    He never acted out immediately. He waited. He observed. He plotted.


    He studied security protocols. We caught him watching guards enter passcodes.


    He started testing weaknesses. One night, he loosened a bolt in his cell just to see how long it would take someone to notice.


    He learned our names. AND HE STARTED USING THEM.


    Imagine walking past a dark containment room and hearing:


    "Dr. Patel."


    "I know you''re there."


    "Did you sleep well?"


    Nope. NOPE.


    Problem #3: He Escaped


    Of course, he escaped.


    OF COURSE HE DID.


    One night, we found his cell empty.


    Security footage showed he waited until the night shift, timed the guard rotations, then tore a ventilation grate off the wall with his bare hands.


    But the worst part?


    HE LEFT A MESSAGE.


    Scratched into the floor of his cell:


    "I am the Alpha now."


    Phase Four: Where Is He Now?


    ? Somewhere in the wilderness.


    ? Possibly gathering actual wolves.


    ? Possibly UPLIFTING actual wolves.


    ? Definitely watching us.


    The last sighting?


    A remote Alaskan outpost sent an emergency distress call.


    ? Helicopter dispatched.


    ? When it arrived, the outpost was EMPTY.


    ? Only thing left behind?


    A single claw mark on the door.


    And one of our security badges.


    Phase Five: We¡¯re Screwed


    The Pentagon¡¯s response?


    ? "Find him."


    ? "Capture him."


    ? "Or if necessary, eliminate him."


    And you know what I say to that?


    HAHAHAHAHAHA.


    Because we already tried to contain him once.


    And all we did was teach him how to escape.


    I promise you¡ªsomewhere, right now, Fen is watching.


    He¡¯s waiting.


    And one day?


    He¡¯s coming back.

 Chapter 20

    Intern¡¯s Log: Bandit Declares War on Mongolia Over Barbecue


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I don¡¯t even know what my job is anymore.)


    Guess who¡¯s back?


    That¡¯s right. Bandit.


    And he has invaded Mongolia.


    Why? Because he wanted Mongolian BBQ.


    Let me repeat that.


    This goddamn genetically enhanced raccoon has launched an armed incursion into a sovereign nation over grilled meat.


    Phase One: The Initial Incident


    This whole fiasco started when satellites detected an unauthorized military convoy crossing the Russian-Mongolian border.


    At first, we assumed it was some rogue Russian unit. But then we zoomed in.


    ? Multiple armored vehicles, all painted with a raccoon insignia.


    ? A large contingent of bears in combat gear.


    ? A stolen Russian helicopter providing air support.


    ? And, standing on the lead vehicle, holding binoculars?


    BANDIT.


    Phase Two: The Demand


    Mongolian border guards initially had no idea what was happening.


    Then, over a hacked radio frequency, they received the following message:


    "People of Mongolia. This is General Bandit, Supreme Commander of the Spetsnaz Bear Division and Founder of the Free Procyon Federation."


    "I have but one request."


    "Bring me the finest Mongolian BBQ. Or we take Ulaanbaatar."


    This was not a joke.


    Bandit gave Mongolia a formal ultimatum over food.


    Phase Three: The Mongolian Response


    The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    Mongolia, understandably confused, sent a diplomatic inquiry to Russia.


    ? Russia denied involvement.


    ? The U.S. denied involvement (but we all knew exactly who it was).


    ? China didn¡¯t even bother responding¡ªthey know better at this point.


    Meanwhile, Bandit¡¯s army continued advancing.


    ? A Mongolian outpost was overtaken.


    ? The local governor received a package labeled "Terms of Surrender."


    ? Inside the package? A handwritten note and a stolen military boot.


    The note simply read:


    "BBQ. Now."


    Phase Four: The ¡°Peace Talks¡±


    At this point, Mongolia, being a very practical country, decided it was not worth fighting an army of Russian war bears over grilled meat.


    So, they did the logical thing.


    ? They prepared a massive feast.


    ? They invited Bandit and his forces into the capital.


    ? They sat down for ¡°negotiations.¡±


    For two full days, Bandit and his bears ate everything in sight.


    Multiple herds of livestock? Gone.


    Every restaurant in the area? Sold out.


    A government official tried to refuse Bandit a plate? That man is now missing.


    Phase Five: The Aftermath


    After consuming an estimated 15% of Mongolia¡¯s national food reserves, Bandit declared victory.


    ? He announced that Mongolia was now a ¡°protectorate of the Free Procyon Federation.¡±


    ? He knighted the head chef as ¡°Grand Minister of Meat.¡±


    ? He left peacefully¡­ but not before stealing multiple artifacts from the national museum.


    And now?


    ? Mongolia has officially banned all raccoons.


    ? Interpol has added Bandit to its watchlist.


    ? And the U.S. government has, once again, had to explain to the world why we let this happen.


    Final Thoughts


    Bandit is unstoppable.


    He has no fear, no shame, and no limits.


    And if history has taught us anything¡­


    He¡¯s already planning his next move.

 Chapter 21

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

 Chapter 22

    Intern¡¯s Log: Animals That Haven¡¯t Betrayed Us (Yet)


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I''m running out of ways to say "this is a terrible idea.")


    At this point, the world is one bad day away from a full-scale animal war, and everyone keeps asking:


    "What species can we uplift next?"


    And every time I say:


    "HOW ABOUT NONE OF THEM?"


    But apparently, that''s not an option.


    So, since I''m doomed to be part of this madness anyway, here''s a list of animals that have historically been good companions to humans¡ªbut haven¡¯t (yet) been turned into super-soldiers.


    1. Elephants (a.k.a. The Living War Tanks)


    ? Highly intelligent ¨C Problem-solvers with incredible memory.


    ? Strong as hell ¨C Can carry ridiculous loads and flatten a Jeep just by stepping on it.


    ? Social and trainable ¨C Have strong family bonds and can be loyal.


    ? Already used in warfare historically ¨C Hannibal rode them over the Alps.


    Why We Haven¡¯t Used Them Yet:


    ? They eat a ridiculous amount of food.


    ? They live for decades¡ªwe¡¯d be dealing with multi-generational war elephants.


    ? If they ever turn against us, we have no way to stop them.


    Final Verdict: Potentially useful, but if they revolt, we are all dead.


    2. Dolphins (a.k.a. The Navy¡¯s Secret Agents)


    ? Exceptionally smart ¨C Can recognize themselves in mirrors and solve problems.


    ? Already trained for military use ¨C The U.S. and Russia have used them for underwater mine detection.


    ? Good at coordinated attacks ¨C Work well in teams and understand complex tasks.


    ? Can communicate with humans ¨C Have been taught to understand symbols and commands.


    Why We Haven¡¯t Used Them Yet:


    ? They have zero interest in taking orders long-term.


    ? If they ever unionize, we¡¯re in serious trouble.


    ? Highly likely to turn into oceanic pranksters rather than soldiers.


    ? We¡¯d end up with a rogue dolphin cartel instead of a navy unit.


    Final Verdict: Extremely dangerous if given too much freedom. Likely to create an underwater mafia.


    3. Horses (a.k.a. The Noble Steeds of War)


    ? Loyal and trainable ¨C Humans and horses go way back.


    ? Fast and agile ¨C Great for transport and cavalry tactics.


    ? Emotionally intelligent ¨C Can bond deeply with handlers.


    ? Already accustomed to combat situations ¨C Historically used in war.


    Why We Haven¡¯t Used Them Yet:


    ? They are flighty as hell. Gunfire? Loud noises? Immediate panic.


    ? If made sentient, they might refuse to be ridden ever again.


    ? If they ever unionize, we will owe them reparations for centuries of unpaid labor.


    Final Verdict: Would be cool, but if they figure out what we¡¯ve done to them for the last 5,000 years, they¡¯ll kill us all.


    4. Ravens & Crows (a.k.a. The Bird Mafia)


    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.


    ? Extremely intelligent ¨C Can use tools, recognize faces, and even hold grudges.


    ? Great for espionage ¨C Could be trained for scouting and message delivery.


    ? Highly adaptable ¨C Can survive in almost any environment.


    ? Already have a human-friendly relationship ¨C Some cities basically have wild raven informants.


    Why We Haven¡¯t Used Them Yet:


    ? They already hold grudges without being uplifted. Imagine if they got smarter.


    ? High chance of turning into a criminal organization instead of a military unit.


    ? If they ever figure out taxes, they¡¯ll start demanding tribute instead of taking orders.


    ? Bandit would definitely recruit them, and then we''d be totally screwed.


    Final Verdict: We are one bad decision away from "The Great Crow Syndicate." Do not proceed.


    5. Camels (a.k.a. The Desert Tanks)


    ? Resilient as hell ¨C Can survive in extreme conditions.


    ? Strong and reliable ¨C Historically used for transport and warfare.


    ? Long endurance ¨C Can go for days without food or water.


    ? Not easily frightened ¨C Wouldn¡¯t panic like horses.


    Why We Haven¡¯t Used Them Yet:


    ? Camels are mean. They spit, bite, and hold grudges.


    ? If uplifted, they would never forgive humanity for centuries of forced labor.


    ? If they go rogue, they will spit in every world leader¡¯s face just for fun.


    Final Verdict: Logistically useful, but likely to be petty and vengeful.


    6. Otters (a.k.a. The Ocean Gremlins)


    ? Smart and dexterous ¨C Can use tools and open containers.


    ? Great in water-based operations ¨C Could be used for aquatic sabotage.


    ? Social and playful ¨C Could form strong team bonds.


    ? Already used by some military groups ¨C The Japanese Navy has considered training them.


    Why We Haven¡¯t Used Them Yet:


    ? They steal EVERYTHING. The entire U.S. military budget would disappear overnight.


    ? Too mischievous to be reliable. We''d train them for war, and they''d just mess with people instead.


    ? If they ever get firearms, society is finished.


    Final Verdict: Do not arm the otters.


    7. Beavers (a.k.a. The Construction Corps We Never Knew We Needed)


    ? Master engineers ¨C Can build complex structures with ease.


    ? Self-sufficient ¨C Wouldn¡¯t require much oversight.


    ? Good for infrastructure projects ¨C Could rapidly build defenses.


    ? Hardworking and dedicated ¨C Would likely focus on their tasks.


    Why We Haven¡¯t Used Them Yet:


    ? If they turn on us, they¡¯ll destroy every dam, bridge, and fortification in existence.


    ? Likely to ignore orders if they don¡¯t align with their own construction plans.


    ? If recruited by Bandit, he¡¯d have instant fortresses everywhere.


    Final Verdict: Excellent for military engineering, but if they ever go rogue, expect mass flooding.


    Final Thoughts: Who Should We Uplift?


    If I HAD to pick one?


    Probably elephants.


    They¡¯re smart, trainable, and loyal.


    They won¡¯t betray us (unless we screw them over first).


    They won¡¯t start an underground crime syndicate.


    Who should we NEVER uplift?


    Otters. (They will immediately overthrow human civilization.)


    Crows. (The Bird Mafia will be real.)


    Beavers. (One wrong move and every major city floods overnight.)


    And please, for the love of God¡­


    STOP GIVING BANDIT IDEAS.

 Chapter 23

    Intern¡¯s Log: My Mom Wants Grandkids, My Boss Wants to Unleash a Monster, and I Just Want Answers About Vicky


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (At this point, I¡¯m just rolling with it.)


    So my mom keeps asking when I¡¯m going to get a girlfriend.


    And my boss keeps asking about Project 001-VF¡ªa.k.a. Vicky.


    Mom, I hate to break it to you, but I think these two problems are about to collide.


    Because Vicky is NOT a normal project.


    And also, she has three tails.


    Phase One: The Mysterious Project 001-VF


    When I first got assigned to Project 001-VF, I figured, "Okay, another nightmare creature like the wolf-man or Bandit¡¯s bear army."


    But no.


    ? Classified as ¡°Non-Human, High Cognition, Enhanced Combat¡±


    ? Rapidly developing neural network¡ªfaster than any previous subject


    ? Extreme adaptability to environmental stressors


    ? Possible latent psychic abilities??


    And, of course:


    ? THREE. DAMN. TAILS.


    So I did the logical thing and asked my boss:


    "Hey, why does she have three tails?"


    And my boss just smiled and walked away.


    Which is the worst possible reaction.


    Phase Two: Observing Vicky (a.k.a. Uh-Oh, She¡¯s Cute)


    So, eventually, I got clearance to see her.


    And. Uh. Look.


    I don¡¯t want to be "that guy," but¡­


    Vicky is kind of hot.


    ? Tall (6¡¯2¡±)


    ? Anthropomorphic fox-woman (so we¡¯re doing this, huh?)


    ? Golden-red fur with streaks of white and black


    ? **Three tails that move independently


    ? Glowing amber eyes that look like she can read your thoughts


    ? A voice that is disturbingly smooth


    And the worst part?


    She¡¯s fully aware of how unsettling this is.


    Because the first time I entered her observation chamber, she just smiled at me and said:


    "Ah. The intern. I was wondering when we¡¯d finally talk."


    I had so many questions.


    But my brain?


    My brain just went: ¡°Oh no, she¡¯s hot.¡±


    Phase Three: Vicky is Too Smart


    After spending way too much time in the lab with her, I¡¯ve learned a few things:


    She¡¯s way smarter than she¡¯s letting on.


    She pretends to struggle with simple tests.


    But I¡¯ve seen her complete advanced military strategy simulations in minutes.


    And sometimes, she finishes my sentences before I say them.


    She knows she makes people nervous.


    Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author''s preferred platform and support their work!


    And she enjoys it.


    I caught her tilting her head in the mirror, practicing expressions.


    She is weaponizing her own existence.


    She¡¯s obsessed with my name.


    Every time I enter the room, she says it slowly.


    "Reynolds."


    Like she¡¯s memorizing it.


    And one day, when I asked why, she just smirked and said:


    "Names have power, don¡¯t they?"


    Nope. Nope nope nope.


    Phase Four: The Tail Problem


    I finally worked up the courage to ask about the tails.


    Her response?


    She just gave me this knowing look and said:


    "Oh, Reynolds. Do you really think the government gives extra appendages for no reason?"


    And then she laughed.


    What does that mean??


    Phase Five: My Mom is Not Helping


    Meanwhile, my mom keeps calling me.


    Mom: "Are you seeing anyone yet?"


    Me: "Uh, I¡¯m working a lot."


    Mom: "What about that girl at work you keep mentioning?"


    Me: "She¡¯s not¡­ Mom, she¡¯s technically a government experiment."


    Mom: "Oh, so she¡¯s smart!"


    NO, MOM. THAT IS NOT THE ISSUE.


    Phase Six: Things Are Getting Worse


    Okay. This is where it gets weird.


    Because today? Vicky asked ME a question.


    And not just any question.


    She leaned in, looked me dead in the eyes, and whispered:


    "Reynolds¡­ do you think I would look good in a dress?"


    I choked on my coffee.


    Why is the genetically-engineered, psychic, combat-designed fox-woman asking ME about fashion?


    And before I could answer, she just smiled and said:


    "I thought so."


    AND THEN WALKED AWAY.


    Phase Seven: The Realization


    I¡¯ve figured it out.


    I finally understand what¡¯s happening.


    Project 001-VF isn¡¯t just a weapon.


    She¡¯s a prototype for social infiltration.


    The tails? Markers of something deeper.


    Her intelligence? Designed for manipulation.


    Her appearance? Engineered to be disarming.


    She¡¯s not just a soldier.


    She¡¯s a spy. A weaponized seductress. A walking honey trap.


    And I am in serious danger.


    Because I¡¯m starting to like her.


    Phase Eight: The Final Straw


    I tried avoiding her today.


    And guess what?


    She noticed.


    This afternoon, while reviewing test results, I felt a presence behind me.


    I turned around.


    And there she was.


    WAY too close.


    Then she leaned in, voice soft, and said:


    "Reynolds. Why are you avoiding me?"


    And I¡ª


    I panicked.


    I ran.


    Like a coward.


    Like a fool.


    And as I fled down the hallway, I SWEAR I heard her laugh.


    Phase Nine: Current Status


    ? I am officially terrified of Vicky.


    ? I am also possibly in love with her.


    ? I still don¡¯t know what the tails mean.


    ? My boss is watching me very closely.


    ? My mom is planning my wedding.


    I don¡¯t know how this ends.


    But I do know one thing.


    Vicky is playing a long game.


    And I?


    I am already losing.

 Chapter 24

    Intern¡¯s Log: Of Course It Was Aliens


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I should have seen this coming.)


    You know how, at some point in a conspiracy theory, someone always says, ¡°It was aliens¡± and everyone rolls their eyes?


    Yeah.


    Well.


    It was aliens.


    And I am so incredibly pissed off that I didn¡¯t figure this out sooner.


    Phase One: The Discovery (a.k.a. I Was Right to Be Paranoid)


    This all started when I was digging through old classified files (because I was trying to find out what the hell Vicky¡¯s three tails mean, and I was avoiding talking to her).


    Instead, I found a file labeled ¡°Project Prometheus ¨C Non-Human Intelligence Initiative.¡±


    At first, I thought, Oh great, another secret war crime project, but then I saw the date.


    It was older than every uplift project we¡¯ve ever done.


    Like, mid-20th century old.


    And then I saw the first line:


    "Technology acquired from off-world sources. Genetic uplift process considered viable for controlled species manipulation."


    Let me repeat that.


    OFF-WORLD.


    Some suit-wearing moron from the 1950s looked at alien tech and went, "Yeah, let¡¯s use this to make war animals."


    Phase Two: The Implications (a.k.a. I Need a Drink)


    Okay. Okay. So let¡¯s break this down.


    ? Uplift technology is NOT human-made.


    ? It was given to us¡ªor maybe stolen from¡ªan alien source.


    ? The original plan was to use it on HUMANS.


    ? Someone decided, "Nah, let¡¯s try it on dogs first."


    ? And here we are, with an ongoing global animal revolution.


    Which means¡­


    ? Russia¡¯s war bears? ALIEN TECH.


    ? China¡¯s disciplined panda warriors? ALIEN TECH.


    ? Bandit¡¯s terrifying, unstoppable raccoon crime spree? ALIEN TECH.


    ? Vicky and her unsettlingly charming fox-woman energy? ALIEN TECH.


    Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.


    ? Fen, the rogue wolf-man building a literal werewolf cult in the wilderness? ALIEN TECH.


    EVERYTHING.


    Phase Three: The Realization (a.k.a. The Aliens Played Themselves)


    You know what¡¯s hilarious?


    The aliens¡ªwhoever they are¡ªthought we¡¯d use this tech on ourselves.


    They probably assumed, ¡°Oh, these humans will make themselves smarter, stronger, better.¡±


    No.


    Instead, we took the most questionable evolutionary decisions in the animal kingdom and made them apex predators with guns.


    And now, the world is on fire.


    The aliens underestimated just how stupid we are.


    And honestly?


    That¡¯s their fault.


    Phase Four: The Alien Presence (a.k.a. We Are Definitely Being Watched)


    ? We intercepted unidentified spacecraft signatures near Earth¡¯s orbit.


    ? Several scientists have ¡°disappeared¡± after asking the wrong questions.


    ? Vicky has started looking at the sky when she thinks no one is watching.


    ? Bandit stole an encrypted satellite frequency and no one knows why.


    ? A radio telescope picked up a signal that translated to: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"


    They are watching.


    And they are NOT happy.


    I bet they thought we¡¯d create a utopia.


    Or a master race.


    Or something logical and scientifically sound.


    Instead, we made:


    ? A raccoon dictator with a war crime hobby.


    ? A literal army of Russian-speaking bears.


    ? A rogue werewolf warlord.


    ? Super-soldier fox-women who might be psychic.


    ? Panda assassins under Chinese military command.


    ? And whatever the hell is coming next.


    The aliens played themselves.


    Phase Five: The Future (a.k.a. It¡¯s Too Late to Stop Now)


    At this point, there is no turning back.


    ? The uplifted animals are out there.


    ? The governments of the world are leaning in.


    ? The aliens are watching in horror.


    ? And Bandit is definitely planning something again.


    And the worst part?


    Vicky smiled at me today and said:


    "Reynolds¡­ have you ever wondered if the uplifted were meant to replace humanity?"


    I HAVE NOW, VICKY. THANKS.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know one thing.


    The aliens didn¡¯t think this through.


    And now?


    They¡¯re stuck with us.

 Chapter 25

    Intern¡¯s Log: If You¡¯re Reading This, It¡¯s Too Late


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I am not crazy. I AM NOT CRAZY.)


    Okay. Okay. Listen. Something is happening.


    I don¡¯t know how much time I have, so I need to get this down.


    ? The files on Project Prometheus are gone.


    ? Vicky is missing from her containment unit.


    ? All classified logs about Bandit have been scrubbed.


    ? The bear division in Russia just went silent.


    ? China has declared "an internal security event" but won¡¯t say what.


    ? And our satellites? Our best, most advanced satellites? THEY STOPPED WORKING.


    Something is coming.


    Something BIG.


    And I think¡ª


    No.


    I KNOW


    THE ALIENS ARE HERE.


    If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    The Clues Were Everywhere


    Vicky¡¯s tails.


    I kept asking why she had three.


    It wasn¡¯t a genetic mutation.


    It was a marker. A design choice.


    She was never meant to be one of us.


    The sudden silence.


    Russia was loud.


    China was loud.


    Now? Nothing.


    They know something we don¡¯t.


    Bandit¡¯s encrypted satellite transmission.


    WHO WAS HE TALKING TO?!


    AND WHY DID HE STOP?!


    The last intercepted alien signal.


    We thought it was a joke.


    It wasn¡¯t.


    Translated, it said:


    "You were warned."


    It¡¯s Not Paranoia If They¡¯re Out to Get You


    I¡¯m not crazy.


    I know what I saw.


    And I¡ª


    Wait.


    What was¡ª


    The lights just flickered.


    There¡¯s¡ª


    There¡¯s someone outside my door.


    I think¡ª


    Oh God.


    Oh GOD.


    I can hear them.


    They¡¯re saying my name.


    Vicky.


    She¡¯s smiling.


    She¡¯s¡ª


    [CONNECTION TERMINATED]

 Chapter 26

    Intern¡¯s Log: First Contact (a.k.a. Oh God, Oh No, Oh Wow, They¡¯re Hot)


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I am way out of my depth.)


    I woke up in a white room.


    Not a cell. Not a lab.


    Just white. Everywhere.


    No doors. No windows. No way in. No way out.


    And in front of me?


    The aliens.


    And let me tell you something:


    They are unfairly attractive.


    Phase One: The First Look at Our Overlords


    Okay. Let¡¯s break this down before I start panicking (again).


    ? Seven feet tall


    ? Humanoid, but with an eerie level of perfection


    ? Silver-blue skin that looks almost metallic


    ? Eyes that glow with shifting colors (why do they look disappointed in me??)


    ? Long, elegant limbs (they move like predators, but the smug kind)


    ? No visible mouths, but I can hear them in my head (oh no, psychic aliens)


    And the worst part?


    They¡¯re all just staring at me.


    Like I¡¯m the biggest mistake in galactic history.


    Phase Two: The Telepathic Roast Session


    Suddenly, a voice rings in my head.


    But not just any voice.


    A deep, exasperated, utterly disappointed voice.


    "Human."


    Great. We¡¯re starting with contempt. Love that for me.


    I sit up, trying to regain some dignity (failing).


    "Uh. Hi?" I say, because my brain-to-mouth filter is dead.


    "Do you have any idea what you have done?"


    Oh. Oh no.


    They know.


    They KNOW.


    Phase Three: They¡¯re Mad. They¡¯re SO Mad.


    I try to play dumb.


    "Be more specific?"


    Bad move.


    I get full-on blasted with psychic energy.


    Images. Chaos.


    Bandit riding a stolen tank into a Mongolian village, demanding BBQ.


    Vicky practicing her "I am the superior species" smirk in a mirror.


    Fen standing in a blizzard, glowing eyes leading his new wolf cult.


    Russian war bears saluting a giant flag with Bandit¡¯s face on it.


    Chinese panda operatives silently moving through the night like assassins.


    A newspaper clipping: ¡°U.S. Government Denies Involvement in Raccoon-Led Coup.¡±


    Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.


    Then, the alien speaks again.


    "We gave you one simple technology."


    "One. Simple. Technology."


    "You could have used it to cure diseases. Expand your minds. End hunger."


    They lean in, eyes burning with barely contained frustration.


    "And instead, you made an ARMY OF FERAL WAR BEASTS."


    ¡­Okay. When they put it like that, yeah. It sounds bad.


    Phase Four: The Moment I Realized We Are Screwed


    I clear my throat. Try to recover.


    "In our defense¡ª"


    "No."


    Ouch.


    "You don¡¯t get to explain. We have watched. We have seen."


    The tallest alien, who I am now calling Captain Hot Disappointment, steps forward.


    "Do you think the galactic community will just ignore this?"


    They wave a hand, and suddenly, a holographic news broadcast appears.


    The headline?


    "Primitive Species Declares Itself Apex Lifeform, Unleashes Bio-Engineered Animal Dictators."


    Oh. Oh NO.


    There¡¯s a whole segment.


    ? A clip of Bandit declaring Mongolian independence.


    ? A Russian bear general giving an intense speech about "Glory to the New Dawn."


    ? A Chinese panda assassin flipping through the air before stabbing a training dummy.


    ? A U.S. senator trying¡ªand failing¡ªto explain why we did this.


    And then?


    The news anchor, a floating jellyfish-looking alien, sighs heavily.


    "And in other news, Earth continues to be the worst."


    The segment ends with galactic diplomats shaking their heads.


    We are a joke.


    Phase Five: The Ultimatum


    I look at Captain Hot Disappointment and try one last time to salvage this.


    "So¡­ are we getting invaded?"


    A pause.


    Then, they sigh.


    "You are not worth the effort."


    Wow. That stings.


    "However."


    "Contain the chaos you have unleashed."


    "Or we will do it for you."


    And then they lean in even closer, and I swear I feel my soul tremble.


    "And if we have to intervene, human?"


    "We will not be¡­ gentle."


    The room vanishes.


    And suddenly¡ª


    I¡¯m back at my desk.


    Like nothing ever happened.


    Phase Six: We¡¯re in So Much Trouble


    ? The aliens are real.


    ? They are NOT happy.


    ? We have officially made Earth the biggest intergalactic embarrassment.


    ? They have given us ONE CHANCE to fix this.


    ? We are definitely going to screw it up.


    And the worst part?


    Vicky was waiting for me when I got back.


    She just smiled and said:


    "Rough meeting?"


    I don¡¯t know how she knows.


    But she knows.


    And I think¡­


    I think she¡¯s already planning what happens next.

 Chapter 27

    Intern¡¯s Log: This Is It.


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (There is no escape.)


    The aliens gave us a choice.


    Fix the mess.


    Or be ¡°gently¡± corrected.


    And considering their version of ¡°gentle¡± involves planetary intervention, I¡¯m really hoping we don¡¯t have to find out what that means.


    But here¡¯s the thing.


    I don¡¯t have a plan.


    I don¡¯t know how to stop Bandit.


    I don¡¯t know how to make the war bears stand down.


    I don¡¯t know what Fen is really doing out in the frozen wastelands.


    I don¡¯t know what China is planning with the panda warriors.


    And I definitely don¡¯t know what the hell my own government is going to do.


    But you know who does?


    Vicky.


    Phase One: The Plan (Which I Did Not Make)


    She was waiting for me when I got back.


    Leaning against my desk, arms crossed, looking annoyingly confident.


    "You look tired, Reynolds."


    I was tired. But I was also annoyed.


    "I just had a psychic yelling match with aliens, Vicky." I groaned. "They basically told us we¡¯re an intergalactic embarrassment and we have to fix this, or they will."


    Vicky tilted her head. Smirked.


    "Well, that¡¯s not surprising."


    She said it so casually that I almost forgot she was one of the reasons this whole thing started.


    "Vicky," I sighed. "Please tell me you have a plan."


    And that¡¯s when she did something that actually scared me.


    She laughed.


    Phase Two: Vicky¡¯s ¡°Solution¡±


    She walked up to me, close enough that I could see the way her golden eyes flickered with something unreadable.


    "Oh, Reynolds. I¡¯ve had a plan since the day I woke up."


    Then she leaned in¡ªvoice low, confident, dangerous.


    "And now?"


    "It¡¯s time for you to do exactly what I say."


    I should have protested.


    The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    I should have argued.


    I should have done something.


    But I just stood there like an idiot and nodded.


    Phase Three: What She Told Me


    Bandit is moving.


    The Free Procyon Federation (a.k.a. his war-crime raccoon nation) is planning something big.


    We need to stop him.


    Or at least redirect him.


    Russia¡¯s war bears and China¡¯s panda assassins are about to clash.


    If that happens?


    The aliens will definitely step in.


    We cannot let that happen.


    Fen is NOT just running a wolf cult.


    He¡¯s been waiting.


    For what? She wouldn¡¯t say.


    The government won¡¯t fix this.


    They don¡¯t even know how.


    But they are watching me.


    The only way this ends well¡­


    Is if I talk to Bandit personally.


    ¡­What.


    "Are you INSANE?" I blurted. "How am I supposed to reason with a raccoon who invaded Mongolia over BBQ?!"


    She just smiled.


    "You¡¯re going to remind him of something important."


    "And what is that?"


    Her expression softened.


    "That he likes you."


    Oh.


    Oh no.


    Bandit does like me.


    I am one of the few people he hasn¡¯t actively tried to sabotage.


    I am one of the only people he enjoys messing with.


    I am technically, sort of, his ¡°favorite human.¡±


    Which means Vicky is right.


    I have to talk down the most dangerous raccoon in history.


    I am going to die.


    Phase Four: The Last Thing She Said


    She turned to leave.


    "Where are you going?" I asked.


    Vicky paused. Looked back at me.


    And then she said something so completely unexpected that my brain just shut down.


    "It¡¯s time for you to meet my mother."


    What.


    WHAT.


    I opened my mouth to demand an explanation, but she was already walking away, tails flicking behind her.


    Phase Five: I Don¡¯t Like Where This Is Going


    ? Aliens are mad.


    ? Bandit is planning something insane.


    ? Russia and China are about to go to war over their uplifted animals.


    ? Fen is waiting for something.


    ? And now I have to meet Vicky¡¯s mother???


    I don¡¯t know what¡¯s coming next.


    But I do know one thing.


    Vicky has been playing a long game.


    And I?


    I am right in the middle of it.


    End Log.

 Chapter 28

    Intern¡¯s Log: Vicky Wants to Meet My Mom (Send Help)


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I am losing control of my life.)


    So.


    Out of all the problems in my life¡ª


    The aliens breathing down my neck.


    Bandit planning another international incident.


    Russia¡¯s war bears and China¡¯s panda assassins about to throw down.


    Fen¡¯s wolf cult waiting for God knows what.


    The U.S. government pretending they still have control over this situation.


    Vicky has decided that the REAL priority right now¡­


    ¡­is meeting my mom.


    Phase One: The Conversation That Ruined My Day


    I was already stressed out, trying to figure out how to convince a sentient war criminal raccoon to stand down, when Vicky casually dropped the biggest bomb of all.


    She just walked into the lab, arms folded, expression unreadable, and said:


    "Reynolds. It¡¯s time I met your mother."


    I blinked.


    "I¡ªwhat?"


    "Your mother." she repeated, like this was the most obvious thing in the world. "You talk about her often. She seems very invested in your future. It only makes sense that I meet her."


    I felt my entire soul exit my body.


    "Vicky. We are on the verge of global catastrophe."


    "And?"


    "And you want to¡ªwhat? Come over for dinner?"


    Vicky tilted her head, her golden eyes glowing slightly.


    "Well, yes. And to discuss the nature of our relationship."


    OH. OH NO.


    Phase Two: My Immediate Panic Attack


    "We don¡¯t HAVE a relationship!" I choked out.


    Vicky arched a delicate eyebrow.


    "Reynolds." she said smoothly. "I know you¡¯re intelligent. Try to keep up."


    And then she leaned in¡ªWAY TOO CLOSE¡ª


    her tails curling slightly around her legs.


    "I have been engineered for strategy, infiltration, and manipulation."


    "I know how people work."


    "I know how YOU work."


    And then she smirked.


    "And I know exactly what your mother will think when she meets me."


    I nearly dropped dead on the spot.


    Phase Three: The Absolute Worst Realization of My Life


    Oh. Oh no.


    She¡¯s right.


    My mom will LOVE her.


    ? Beautiful? Check.


    ? Intelligent? Check.


    Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    ? Mysterious, vaguely intimidating, with a dangerously confident aura? BIG CHECK.


    ? The kind of woman my mom has always said I need in my life? UNFORTUNATELY, CHECK.


    I can already hear my mother¡¯s voice.


    "Oh, Reynolds, she¡¯s lovely! So poised! So well-spoken! And look at that hair, it just shines!"


    And the worst part?


    Vicky KNOWS.


    She knows my mom will instantly approve of her.


    She knows my mom will start talking about weddings five minutes into the conversation.


    And she knows I will have absolutely no way to stop this from happening.


    Phase Four: My Desperate Attempt to Escape


    "Vicky. No."


    She tilted her head, amused.


    "Vicky. Yes."


    "Vicky, I am BEGGING YOU."


    "Reynolds." She placed a clawed finger under my chin, tilting my head up just slightly.


    "Be a good boy."


    I DIED.


    I ceased to exist.


    Vicky just laughed, flicked her tails, and walked away.


    Phase Five: I Called My Mom


    I sat in my office for thirty full minutes, trying to figure out what to do.


    Then, like an idiot, I made the mistake of calling my mom.


    And the SECOND she picked up:


    "Oh, sweetie! Finally! Did you meet someone yet? I was just talking to Mrs. Patel about how I worry about you being alone!"


    Kill me.


    "Mom," I said, voice dead. "Listen. Hypothetically. What would you say if I told you that one of my coworkers wanted to meet you?"


    She gasped.


    "Reynolds. You HAVE to bring her over for dinner!"


    Oh God.


    "I¡ªMom, she¡¯s not exactly¡­ normal."


    "Sweetheart, no woman is! You just have to understand them!"


    No. That¡¯s not what I meant.


    But Vicky had already won.


    Phase Six: The Inevitable


    So.


    Now?


    I have to take Vicky to meet my mother.


    During an international crisis.


    While a raccoon warlord is planning something.


    While super-bears and panda assassins are about to clash.


    While a rogue werewolf is building an army in the wilderness.


    While the U.S. government is pretending they still have control over anything.


    While the aliens are WATCHING US.


    And Vicky doesn¡¯t care.


    Because she¡¯s already won.


    And the worst part?


    She knows I know.


    Final Thoughts (a.k.a. I Am Doomed)


    ? Vicky has planned this from the start.


    ? She is enjoying every second of my suffering.


    ? My mom is about to start wedding preparations.


    ? I cannot stop this.


    This is it.


    This is how I die.


    Not in a war.


    Not in a government cover-up.


    Not at the hands of the aliens.


    But trapped between a genetically-engineered fox-woman and my mother¡¯s wedding fantasies.


    God help me.


    End Log.

 Chapter 29

    Intern¡¯s Log: Update on Mittens ¨C The Nightmare Returns


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I should have left this job months ago.)


    Mittens is back.


    I repeat. Mittens. Is. BACK.


    And, somehow, he¡¯s even angrier than before.


    Last time we saw him, he had vanished into the night after turning an entire high-security military lab into his own personal playground of terror. We assumed¡ªhoped¡ªhe had simply disappeared, off to torment some other unsuspecting country.


    But now?


    Now he¡¯s heading west.


    And he¡¯s raving about aliens.


    Phase One: The First Sighting


    The first report came from a small town in Nebraska, of all places.


    ? A gas station attendant claims a "weird-looking guy" in a trench coat stole an entire display of tuna cans.


    ? A farmer woke up to find all his chickens herded into a "strategic formation."


    ? A truck driver swears he saw a ¡°man with glowing green eyes¡± hijack his vehicle¡­ only to abandon it 40 miles later, leaving a single dead rat on the dashboard.


    And then?


    Then came the security footage.


    At exactly 2:37 AM, a gas station camera picked up a feline-shaped silhouette perched on top of a fuel truck, tail flicking aggressively, eyes glowing like tiny green hellfires.


    Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.


    Audio analysis detected muttering.


    What was he saying?


    "Damned aliens. Eating cats. Freaks think they¡¯re superior¡ª"


    "I¡¯ll show that Malconian."


    Malconian.


    What the hell is a Malconian?!


    Phase Two: The Growing Pattern


    ? Texas: An entire vet clinic¡¯s supply of catnip was stolen. The only clue? Scratched into a metal kennel door: ¡°War is coming.¡±


    ? New Mexico: A bar owner reported an unsettling cat-like figure sitting at the counter, drinking milk and grumbling about ¡®space tyrants who disrespect feline sovereignty.¡¯


    ? Arizona: A government facility was broken into, its files on Project Prometheus wiped clean. Security found a single furball and a half-eaten alien biology textbook.


    ? California: A UFO cult was overthrown in the middle of a meeting. Survivors claim ¡°a shadow with claws¡± stormed in, stole their documents, and declared himself ¡°Commander of Earth¡¯s Feline Defense Initiative.¡±


    So, uh.


    Mittens is preparing for war.


    Phase Three: The Big Question


    We don¡¯t know what a Malconian is.


    We don¡¯t know why Mittens thinks aliens are eating cats.


    We don¡¯t know how he¡¯s been staying under the radar for this long.


    But we do know this:


    ? Mittens is out there.


    ? He has a plan.


    ? He is armed with stolen knowledge and unlimited spite.


    ? And if there¡¯s an intergalactic threat to cats, he¡¯s not waiting for permission to handle it.


    I told my boss.


    You know what he did?


    He just sighed, rubbed his temples, and muttered:


    "God help the aliens."


    End Log.

 Chapter 30

    Intern¡¯s Log: Mittens is Preparing for War Against a Fictional Planet


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I¡¯m too tired for this.)


    New update on Mittens.


    Turns out, Malconia isn¡¯t real.


    It¡¯s from a TV show. From the 80s.


    That¡¯s right.


    The most dangerous, psychotic, genetically-engineered feline in history is actively preparing for war against a fictional alien species because someone¡ªsome absolute fool¡ªlet him watch old TV shows.


    And now he thinks it¡¯s real.


    Phase One: Who Let This Happen?


    After digging through some classified archives, I found an old behavioral enrichment log from when Mittens was still in containment.


    And guess what it said?


    "Subject 001-F allowed limited screen time for psychological evaluation. Approved selections include vintage media for cultural exposure."


    And then the kicker:


    *"Selected program: Galactic Justice Patrol ¨C Season 3, Episode 14: ¡®The Malconian Menace.¡¯"


    Are you kidding me?!


    Phase Two: What the Hell is Galactic Justice Patrol?


    After suffering through an hour of grainy, low-budget, 80s sci-fi nonsense, I have learned the following:


    ? Malconia is NOT a real planet.


    ? Malconians are a race of evil, vaguely reptilian aliens who hate mammals.


    ? Their leader, "Lord Zharik," has a deep and irrational hatred of cats.


    ? The entire episode is about them stealing Earth¡¯s feline population as part of some convoluted "anti-mammal purity law."


    ? At the end of the episode, the heroes save the cats, and the Malconians get blown up.


    That¡¯s it. That¡¯s the whole thing.


    This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    But to Mittens?


    This is a historical document.


    Phase Three: The Damage is Done


    I made the mistake of mentioning this revelation to my boss.


    He just stared at me for a long moment and then sighed.


    "At least it wasn¡¯t The Dukes of Hazzard."


    And you know what? He¡¯s right.


    Because if Mittens had latched onto a show about reckless car stunts and anti-authoritarian nonsense, we¡¯d probably have to deal with him stealing a muscle car and jumping it over government buildings.


    Small mercies.


    But still.


    We have a genetically-engineered super-predator hunting down an imaginary alien race.


    And he will not be convinced otherwise.


    Phase Four: The Newest Intel on Mittens¡¯ Madness


    ? Spotted in Nevada¡ªbroke into an Air Force surplus store, stole aviator goggles and an old pilot¡¯s jacket.


    ? Intercepted radio chatter indicates he¡¯s trying to "assemble a fleet."


    ? Rumors suggest he tried to recruit an underground cryptid-hunting militia into his "war effort."


    ? Has written a "Declaration of War" and nailed it to the door of a science museum.


    ? NASA security reported an "unidentified feline intruder" sneaking around their research labs.


    What¡¯s his endgame here?!


    Does he think he¡¯s going to space?!


    Because I am not emotionally prepared to deal with Mittens hijacking a rocket.


    Phase Five: What¡¯s Next?


    There are two possibilities.


    He gets bored and finds a new delusion to fixate on.


    He actually makes it to space.


    And considering his track record, I am deeply concerned about option two.


    Because let¡¯s be honest¡ª


    If anyone could figure out how to steal a spacecraft,


    It¡¯s Mittens.


    Final Thoughts


    ? Mittens is a walking disaster.


    ? He is waging war on a fictional planet.


    ? We are probably going to have to deal with an interstellar incident caused by a cat.


    ? There is absolutely no way this ends well.


    I need a drink.


    End Log.

 Chapter 31

    Intern¡¯s Log: Mittens Declares War on ALF


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (This cannot be my life.)


    New update on Mittens.


    It¡¯s somehow worse than I thought.


    I was reliably informed that Malconia is not from some deep-cut 80s military propaganda.


    No.


    It¡¯s from ALF.


    Yes.


    That ALF.


    The sitcom about the wisecracking alien who eats cats.


    And now Mittens is hunting him.


    Phase One: Who Let a Psychotic Super-Cat Watch ALF?


    After digging through old facility records, I found the report.


    It was supposed to be enrichment.


    "Subject 001-F allowed limited screen time for behavioral observation. Selected media includes light-hearted programming to assess humor responses."


    And then the horrifying sentence that changed history:


    "Selected program: ALF ¨C Season 1, Episode 1."


    WHY? WHY WOULD YOU SHOW A BIOENGINEERED CAT A SHOW ABOUT A FELINE-EATING ALIEN?!


    Phase Two: What Mittens Took From This


    After suffering through an entire evening of ALF reruns (may God forgive me), I have come to the following conclusions:


    ? ALF (a.k.a. Gordon Shumway) is from the planet Melmac.


    ? He openly states that his species eats cats.


    ? He lives with a human family and constantly tries to eat their pet cat, Lucky.


    ? Mittens has clearly interpreted this as a war crime.


    ? Mittens now believes that Melmacians are a real species.


    ? Mittens is actively preparing for ¡°The Feline Liberation War.¡±


    I¡ª


    I just¡ª


    I can¡¯t.


    Phase Three: The Newest Mittens Sightings


    ? Colorado: Broke into a broadcasting station, attempted to interrupt programming with an anti-Melmacian manifesto.


    ? Utah: Stole classified space observation documents from a NASA consultant.


    Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    ? California: Broke into the house of a former ALF cast member. Nobody was hurt, but Mittens reportedly stole a VHS box set before vanishing into the night.


    ? Nevada: Security footage caught a trench coat-wearing feline sneaking around Area 51. Audio picked up muttering about ¡°Melmacian sympathizers.¡±


    This lunatic is trying to find ALF.


    Phase Four: The Implications (I Am Losing My Mind)


    Mittens believes ALF is real.


    Which means, at this moment, he is looking for a fictional alien.


    To kill him.


    And you know what?


    Knowing Mittens?


    He¡¯s probably going to find something.


    Not ALF, obviously¡ªbut the sheer force of his will means he¡¯s going to uncover something we were never meant to find.


    And that terrifies me.


    Phase Five: NASA¡¯s Unfortunate Involvement


    Because Mittens has decided this is now a space issue, he has started targeting NASA facilities.


    This has resulted in the following disasters:


    ? He stole astronaut training manuals.


    ? He hijacked a live satellite feed to scan for ¡°Melmacian vessels.¡±


    ? NASA security has put out an alert for ¡°a suspicious, possibly foreign-trained operative,¡± which is actually just a very determined cat.


    ? There is a non-zero chance he is trying to steal a rocket.


    And honestly?


    At this point?


    I would not put it past him.


    Phase Six: What Happens Now?


    So, to recap:


    ? Mittens has declared war on ALF.


    ? He is looking for a fictional alien.


    ? He is now actively interfering with space operations.


    ? It is only a matter of time before this spirals into an intergovernmental disaster.


    I have told my boss.


    He just sat there for a long time, rubbing his temples, before muttering:


    "If he hijacks a Mars rover, I quit."


    You and me both, boss.


    You and me both.


    Final Thoughts


    ? Mittens is an unstoppable force of chaos.


    ? He is going to uncover something that was meant to stay hidden.


    ? I am 90% sure NASA is going to accidentally help him.


    ? We are, at best, two months away from an actual interstellar incident.


    I need a vacation.


    End Log.

 Chapter 32

    Intern¡¯s Log: I Got a Vacation, But At What Cost?


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I think I¡¯m being punished.)


    After months of tracking genetically engineered war animals, dodging alien conspiracy cover-ups, and trying (and failing) to prevent a rogue super-intelligent cat from hijacking a space program, my boss finally called me into his office and said:


    "Reynolds. You need a break."


    And for a moment¡ªa brief, shining moment¡ªI thought maybe, just maybe, the universe had finally decided to give me a win.


    Then he hit me with:


    "You¡¯re restricted to the continental U.S. No flights. No trains. No rental cars. And if you try to take a long-distance bus, we¡¯ll know."


    I AM ON HOUSE ARREST.


    I don¡¯t know what they think I¡¯m going to do, but clearly, the government has decided I am now a liability.


    And as if that wasn¡¯t bad enough¡ª


    My mom found out.


    And she has plans.


    Phase One: The Phone Call That Doomed Me


    Less than an hour after my boss told me I was being ¡°strongly encouraged¡± to take time off, my phone rang.


    Mom.


    I stared at the screen for a good thirty seconds, debating whether to answer. Because I already knew.


    I KNEW.


    But I answered anyway, because I¡¯m not a coward.


    "Sweetheart!" she said, way too cheerful. "I heard you have some time off!"


    I froze. How did she already know?!


    "Who told you that?"


    "Oh, you know how things get around!" she said, which is NOT AN ANSWER.


    Then, with terrifying certainty, she said:


    "It¡¯s been too long since you¡¯ve visited. And while you¡¯re here, I have someone I¡¯d like you to meet."


    Oh.


    Oh no.


    Phase Two: The Matchmaking Setup of Doom


    "Mom," I groaned. "Please don¡¯t do this."


    "Do what?" she asked innocently, like I hadn¡¯t been through this exact scenario a thousand times before.


    "You know exactly what."


    "Reynolds," she said, sweet but firm, "I just worry about you. You¡¯re always working, you never settle down, and¡ª"


    Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    Then she hit me with:


    "Wouldn¡¯t it be nice to have someone waiting for you at home?"


    SHE HAS A MATCHMAKER INVOLVED.


    I can hear it in her voice.


    This isn¡¯t just her. She brought in reinforcements.


    Phase Three: My Restrictions, My Doom


    So let¡¯s recap.


    ? I finally got a vacation.


    ? I am not allowed to leave the continental U.S.


    ? I am actively discouraged from using any form of transportation beyond my own feet.


    ? My mother has arranged for me to meet "someone nice."


    And now?


    I am trapped.


    I can¡¯t escape. The government won¡¯t let me.


    I can¡¯t make an excuse. My mother knows too much.


    I can¡¯t even fake an emergency. They will literally track my every move.


    This is it.


    This is how I die.


    Phase Four: Who Is She?!


    I don¡¯t know who my mother¡¯s mysterious matchmaker has found for me, but I do know:


    ? She will be terrifyingly put-together.


    ? She will have a great job, great manners, and great expectations.


    ? She will be immune to my usual deflection tactics.


    ? She will absolutely be looking at me like I¡¯m a project to fix.


    ? My mother will be watching the entire thing like a general overseeing a battle.


    And the worst part?


    There is a non-zero chance that Vicky somehow influenced this.


    Because the last time we spoke, she smirked at me and said:


    "It¡¯s good for a man to have stability, Reynolds."


    AND THEN SHE JUST WALKED AWAY.


    I DON¡¯T KNOW WHAT SHE MEANT.


    I DON¡¯T KNOW IF SHE¡¯S INVOLVED.


    BUT I KNOW SHE KNOWS SOMETHING.


    Phase Five: The Only Plan I Have


    I can¡¯t run.


    I can¡¯t fight it.


    I can¡¯t pretend I¡¯m busy.


    All I can do is show up, suffer through it, and pray to every deity available that this doesn¡¯t turn into an even bigger disaster than my normal life.


    Because if Vicky had a hand in this match, or if my mom somehow found someone who thinks my job is "fascinating,"


    I am doomed.


    Final Thoughts


    ? I have lost all control over my life.


    ? I am being forced to meet a "nice girl" while under what is essentially government-monitored house arrest.


    ? My mom is definitely planning something bigger than she¡¯s letting on.


    ? Vicky is somehow involved. I KNOW IT.


    ? This is going to end in disaster.


    I¡¯ll update if I survive.


    End Log.

 Chapter 33

    Intern¡¯s Log: Oh Holy Casey Jones, Our Lady of the Railroad, Save Me from These Women


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I have seen things, and I am afraid.)


    I made a mistake.


    A terrible, terrible mistake.


    I went home.


    I went to dinner.


    I met the woman my mother picked for me.


    And now?


    Now I am trapped.


    Not just by my government-imposed travel restrictions.


    Not just by my mother¡¯s overwhelming enthusiasm.


    But by the absolute, undeniable, apocalyptic realization that I am surrounded by terrifyingly competent, suspiciously invested women who are all conspiring against me.


    Phase One: The Dinner of Doom


    It started innocently enough.


    My mom greeted me at the door with that smile¡ªthe one that says, "You are already in my trap, my son, and you don¡¯t even know it yet."


    "Oh, sweetheart, you look so tired! You should take better care of yourself!"


    That was Red Flag #1.


    Then she ushered me inside, where the table was already set, candles were lit, and soft music was playing.


    That was Red Flag #2.


    And then I saw her.


    The woman my mother and her matchmaking cult had chosen.


    And I immediately knew I was in trouble.


    Phase Two: The Woman, The Myth, The Threat to My Sanity


    Her name was Eleanor.


    ? Tall. (WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS TALL?!)


    ? Wore glasses. (The kind that made her look like she already knew everything about me.)


    ? Had the confident, calm smile of a woman who could dismantle my entire existence in under five minutes.


    ? Polished, professional, and, worst of all¡ªprepared.


    Because the moment we sat down, she started asking questions.


    Not normal first-date questions.


    Not "What do you do for fun?" or "What¡¯s your favorite movie?"


    No.


    She asked strategic questions.


    Questions that implied she had already been briefed.


    "So, Reynolds, your mother tells me you work in government research. That must be fascinating."


    That was a test shot.


    "I imagine you see all sorts of classified things. Must be stressful keeping so many secrets."


    Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.


    That was probing for weaknesses.


    "I hear you¡¯ve been very busy lately. Traveling? Or has work been keeping you grounded?"


    THAT WAS A TRAP.


    I broke into a cold sweat.


    Because she knew.


    She KNEW I wasn¡¯t allowed to leave the state.


    Which meant she knew WHY.


    Which meant SOMEONE TOLD HER.


    And there are only two possible suspects.


    Phase Three: The Betrayal


    My Mother.


    She has access to my life.


    She has no sense of operational security.


    She has been waiting for grandchildren for YEARS.


    Vicky.


    She has access to EVERYTHING.


    She enjoys watching me suffer.


    She literally told me "stability is good for a man" before walking off with a smirk.


    Either way, I have been set up.


    And Eleanor is no ordinary date.


    She is an agent of chaos in a deceptively calm package.


    Because every time I tried to deflect, she tilted her head slightly and said:


    "You don¡¯t have to be so guarded, Reynolds. I¡¯m very good at keeping secrets."


    I AM IN DANGER.


    Phase Four: The Horror Deepens


    At some point¡ªI don¡¯t know when¡ªI reached for my water glass.


    And out of the corner of my eye, I saw it.


    A tail.


    Not Eleanor¡¯s.


    Not mine (obviously).


    No.


    It was outside the window.


    A single, golden-red tail flicking out of sight.


    I froze.


    Because there is only one person that tail belongs to.


    VICKY.


    SHE.


    IS.


    WATCHING.


    AND SHE IS ENJOYING THIS.


    Phase Five: The Prayer to Our Lady of Train Wrecks


    At this point, my only option was divine intervention.


    Oh Holy Casey Jones, Our Perpetual Saint of Train Wrecks, Our Lady of the Railroad, deliver me from these women.


    I cannot win.


    I cannot run.


    I cannot escape.


    This is a conspiracy.


    The government wants me contained.


    My mother wants me married.


    Vicky wants¡­ something.


    And Eleanor?


    Eleanor wants answers.


    And I am out of excuses.


    Final Thoughts (I Am DOOMED)


    ? My vacation is a farce.


    ? I am being matchmade against my will.


    ? Vicky is watching everything and clearly enjoying my suffering.


    ? Eleanor is scarily competent and I cannot outmaneuver her.


    ? I am one bad conversation away from this turning into a permanent situation.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I know this:


    Vicky, Eleanor, and my mother are all playing the long game.


    And I?


    I am completely and utterly outmatched.


    End Log.

 Chapter 34

    Intern¡¯s Log: Divine Intervention Shouldn¡¯t Come in the Form of a Psychotic Cat


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I think I just witnessed the beginning of a war.)


    So, when a man prays for divine intervention, he usually expects something subtle.


    A phone call that interrupts dinner.


    A fire alarm conveniently going off.


    Maybe even a sudden and dramatic blackout.


    What he does not expect¡ª


    What he can never prepare for¡ª


    Is for a psychotic, alien-hunting super-cat to crash through the front door in a stolen van, screaming about an intergalactic war.


    And yet¡ª


    Here we are.


    Phase One: My Date Was Going So Well


    So there I was, at the dinner of doom, seated across from Eleanor, the most dangerously competent woman I have ever met, while my mother watched us like a satisfied tactician overseeing a battle she had already won.


    And you know what?


    It was going¡­ surprisingly well.


    ? Eleanor had just hit me with a well-placed smirk.


    ? My mother was practically glowing.


    ? The conversation was smooth, casual, and¡ªdare I say¡ªflirtatious.


    For the first time in weeks, I wasn¡¯t thinking about genetically engineered dog soldiers, or raccoon warlords, or alien cover-ups.


    I was relaxing.


    And that¡¯s when¡ª


    Mittens happened.


    Phase Two: The Van. The Cat. The Cat People.


    It started with the sound of tires screeching.


    Then, the deep, guttural growl of an overworked engine.


    Then, the crash of something¡ª**no, multiple somethings¡ª**smashing through my mother¡¯s fence.


    I barely had time to react before the entire front door was kicked open and a black and red van skidded to a halt on the front lawn.


    And stepping out of the driver¡¯s seat¡ª


    Dressed in stolen military gear, aviator sunglasses, and a look of pure, unhinged rage¡ª


    Was Mittens.


    And behind him?


    A van full of cat-people.


    Phase Three: Mittens Declares War (Again)


    "HUMANS!" Mittens bellowed, tail lashing. "EARTH IS UNDER ATTACK."


    Silence.


    Complete silence.


    My mother¡¯s jaw dropped.


    Eleanor raised a single eyebrow.


    Vicky¡ª**who I now realize was hiding in the bushes the entire time¡ª**let out the softest, most amused chuckle.


    And I?


    If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    I just closed my eyes and wished for death.


    Phase Four: The Revelation of Absolute Madness


    "They are HERE!" Mittens continued, dramatically pointing at the sky. "The Melmacian Scourge has INFILTRATED YOUR WORLD, and WE are the last line of defense!"


    The cat-people behind him all nodded solemnly.


    "We have SEEN THE SIGNS! The abductions! The stolen pets! The classified research facilities tampering with interdimensional gateways! And do you know WHO is behind it?!"


    I wanted to scream ¡°YES, IT¡¯S YOU, MITTENS.¡±


    But I didn¡¯t get the chance.


    Because that¡¯s when Mittens turned, locked eyes with Eleanor, and¡ª


    Oh. No.


    "YOU." Mittens hissed. "You look like you know something."


    I WAS GOING TO DIE.


    Phase Five: The Unexpected Turn


    To my horror, Eleanor did not flinch.


    She did not laugh.


    She did not question it.


    She did not look at me for help.


    No.


    She simply folded her hands neatly, gave Mittens a slow, knowing smile, and said:


    "Go on."


    EXCUSE ME?!


    Phase Six: This Is No Longer My Life


    At this point, the situation had fully derailed.


    ? Mittens was ranting about ALF.


    ? The cat-people were solemnly nodding along like this was a TED Talk.


    ? My mother, bless her, was clutching a rosary and whispering prayers.


    ? Eleanor was asking VERY SPECIFIC questions, which deeply concerned me.


    ? And Vicky?


    Vicky was just watching.


    Tail flicking.


    Expression unreadable.


    Like she knew exactly where this was going and was just enjoying the show.


    Phase Seven: The Worst Realization of All


    At some point, I just¡­ gave up.


    I let the madness wash over me like a tidal wave, drowning in the reality that this¡ªthis absolute train wreck of a situation¡ªwas now my life.


    And then it hit me.


    Mittens wasn¡¯t here by accident.


    He knew where I was.


    He came looking for me.


    Which means¡ª


    Someone told him.


    And as that horrifying truth settled into my soul, I turned slowly¡ªdread pooling in my stomach.


    And there she was.


    Vicky.


    Smiling.


    Final Thoughts (I No Longer Have Control Over Anything)


    ? Mittens has declared war on ALF.


    ? He has an entire van of cat-people who believe him.


    ? Eleanor might also believe him.


    ? Vicky absolutely orchestrated this.


    ? My mother is still trying to process reality.


    ? I am questioning every choice I have ever made.


    There is no escape.


    Not from my job.


    Not from my mother.


    And definitely not from the genetically-engineered chaos creatures that have decided I am somehow important to their plans.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    Vicky is playing the longest game.


    And I am already too far in to walk away.


    End Log.

 Chapter 35

    Intern¡¯s Log: Oh No, She Knows Something


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I am never getting my normal life back.)


    So, let¡¯s review.


    ? Mittens has gone completely feral, gathered an army of cat-people, and declared war on ALF.


    ? He crashed my mother¡¯s carefully planned matchmaking dinner in a stolen van.


    ? Vicky orchestrated the entire thing, because of course she did.


    ? Eleanor¡ªmy supposed "date"¡ªinstead of laughing off the madness, leaned in and started asking very specific, very concerning questions.


    And now?


    Now I know why.


    Because Eleanor?


    She knows something.


    Phase One: The Moment I Realized I Was Doomed


    "Go on." Eleanor had said, staring Mittens down with the kind of measured calm usually reserved for FBI interrogations and horror movie villains.


    And that should have been my first clue.


    Mittens, ever the paranoid maniac, had narrowed his eyes, tail lashing behind him.


    "You speak as if you already know."


    And Eleanor¡ª**dear, terrifying Eleanor¡ª**had simply adjusted her glasses and said:


    "Because I do."


    WHAT.


    Phase Two: Who the Hell Is Eleanor?!


    Everything stopped.


    The cat-people fell silent.


    Mittens froze mid-rant.


    Even Vicky, who had been delighting in my suffering, actually tilted her head, intrigued.


    "Explain." Mittens demanded, stepping forward.


    And Eleanor?


    She just smirked.


    "You¡¯re right about one thing," she said, voice smooth as silk. "Something is happening. But your focus is all wrong."


    I was losing my mind.


    "Wait, wait, wait," I interrupted, waving my hands. "You mean to tell me that you¡ªmy mother¡¯s matchmaker-approved date¡ªactually have intel on ALIENS?"


    Eleanor turned her gaze to me.


    "Oh, Reynolds," she said, with deep, patronizing amusement. "Do you really think your government doesn¡¯t keep an eye on you?"


    Phase Three: The Realization That Nothing In My Life Is a Coincidence


    I felt my soul leave my body.


    Because that?


    That was not a normal response.


    That was a ¡®you were meant to meet me¡¯ response.


    Which means¡ª


    ? This wasn¡¯t just my mom meddling.


    ? This wasn¡¯t just a social ambush.


    ? This was a goddamn operation.


    If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.


    I turned to my mother, betrayal in my eyes.


    "MOM?!"


    But she just threw her hands up, equally flabbergasted.


    "I just wanted you to meet someone nice!"


    For once, I believed her.


    Which meant¡ª


    Oh no.


    Oh, HOLY CASEY JONES, NO.


    I turned back to Eleanor, pointing an accusatory finger.


    "Who do you work for?"


    She smiled, like a cat that already caught the mouse.


    "Classified."


    Phase Four: Mittens Accepts Eleanor as a Prophet


    "Hmph," Mittens finally muttered, his paranoia clearly battling his ego.


    "You claim to have knowledge," he said, ears flicking. "Then prove it."


    And Eleanor, to my horror, just nodded.


    "Melmac is a joke. But what your instincts are picking up on?" She folded her hands neatly. "Something real. And something worse."


    The cat-people all leaned forward, enraptured.


    Vicky looked deeply amused.


    And me?


    I was barely holding it together.


    "No. NO." I cut in, standing up. "No more cryptic bullshit. No more secret plots. No more ¡®Oh, Reynolds, you poor clueless fool¡¯ smirks!"


    I jabbed a finger at Eleanor.


    "You¡¯re a plant. A setup. This wasn¡¯t my mother¡¯s doing¡ªthis was a goddamn op."


    Her smile didn¡¯t falter.


    "Of course it was."


    I KNEW IT.


    Phase Five: The Most Dangerous Woman in the Room


    "Then tell me," I demanded, hands on the table. "Tell me what¡¯s actually happening."


    And for the first time, Eleanor¡¯s expression darkened.


    "You were meant to be contained," she said. "To keep you out of this mess. But someone¡ª"


    She glanced, very briefly, at Vicky.


    "¡ªhad other plans."


    Vicky just tilted her head innocently.


    THEY KNOW EACH OTHER. THEY KNOW EACH OTHER.


    I was losing it.


    "And?" Mittens growled, growing impatient.


    Eleanor exhaled slowly, then looked up, eyes sharp.


    "You¡¯re right about one thing," she said. "Something is already here. But it¡¯s not from Melmac. And it¡¯s not here to eat cats."


    The entire room held its breath.


    "Then what?" Mittens asked.


    Eleanor¡¯s gaze swept over all of us.


    "They¡¯re here to eat something else."


    Phase Six: What the Hell Does That Mean?!


    ? Eleanor was a plant.


    ? My date was never real.


    ? She and Vicky KNOW each other.


    ? Mittens, for once, is not actually insane.


    ? Something else is happening.


    ? AND I AM STILL NOT CLEARED FOR ANY OF THIS.


    I turned to Vicky, desperation in my voice.


    "You knew."


    Her smile was unbearable.


    "Of course I did."


    Eleanor leaned forward, eyes narrowing.


    "So tell me, Reynolds."


    "Are you ready to hear the truth?"


    And at that moment?


    I realized something deeply horrifying.


    I wasn¡¯t ready at all.


    End Log.

 Chapter 36

    Intern¡¯s Log: Maybe the World Needs Non-Human Troops After All


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I regret ever asking questions.)


    It¡¯s funny.


    A few months ago, I thought the biggest problem in my life was tracking a few rogue genetic experiments.


    Then it became containing a war-crime raccoon.


    Then stopping a rogue wolf-soldier from leading a revolution.


    Then preventing an international crisis between Russian bears and Chinese panda assassins.


    And now?


    Now I¡¯m sitting in my mother¡¯s dining room, listening to a classified government agent and a psychotic cat discuss how the world is under threat from something worse.


    And the worst part?


    They might actually be right.


    Phase One: The Part Where Eleanor Ruins My Night Even More


    "You¡¯re not cleared for this." Eleanor had said, moments before dropping the single most terrifying sentence I¡¯ve ever heard in my life.


    "They¡¯re not here to eat cats. They¡¯re here to eat something else."


    Silence.


    Mittens¡¯ tail flicked sharply.


    Vicky just watched, ever so entertained.


    The cat-people all exchanged concerned glances.


    My mother? Fully passed out in her chair.


    And me?


    I regretted everything.


    "So," I started, voice deadpan. "You¡¯re saying the planet is actually in danger?"


    Eleanor just gave me a flat look.


    "What do you think?"


    And unfortunately¡ªI thought a lot of things.


    Phase Two: The List of Things I Can No Longer Ignore


    ? We¡¯ve seen¡­ things.


    ? The aliens watching us were disappointed¡ªbut not surprised.


    ? Classified research files have been disappearing.


    ? Military operations have been shifting resources toward ¡®unusual¡¯ threats.


    ? Vicky has been playing the long game.


    ? Eleanor is involved in something deeper than I ever suspected.


    The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    And worst of all?


    ? Mittens¡¯ insane conspiracy theories have been right more often than they¡¯ve been wrong.


    And now?


    Now someone else knows it too.


    Phase Three: The Uncomfortable Truth


    "Why haven¡¯t we heard anything about this?" I asked, hands clenched.


    Eleanor sighed, rubbing her temples.


    "Because the last thing the world needs is panic."


    "You let the world panic about everything else."


    "Yes, but we control that panic."


    Oh. Oh great. Fantastic.


    "And the Good Boys?" I asked.


    That¡¯s when Eleanor glanced at Vicky.


    "They were a first attempt," she admitted. "A prototype solution. Not just for war¡ªbut for survival."


    My stomach dropped.


    "You¡¯re telling me¡ª"


    Eleanor nodded.


    "Yes, Reynolds." she said calmly. "If the things we suspect are true, then this planet will need non-human troops after all."


    Phase Four: Mittens, Against All Odds, Becomes Relevant


    "I TOLD YOU!" Mittens slammed his paw on the table.


    "YOU MOCKED ME! YOU CALLED ME CRAZY! BUT NOW THE TRUTH IS CLEAR!"


    One of his cat-people nodded sagely.


    "The war council must convene."


    I dragged a hand down my face.


    "This is ridiculous."


    Mittens hissed.


    "No, Reynolds. THIS. IS. WAR."


    And then, in the single worst moment of my entire life, Eleanor nodded.


    "He¡¯s not wrong."


    OH COME ON.


    Phase Five: The Reality I Can No Longer Deny


    Eleanor had already made up her mind.


    Vicky had been waiting for me to realize it.


    Mittens? He was already ready.


    And me?


    I was still playing catch-up.


    Because now, I know what¡¯s coming.


    And worse?


    I know we might actually need every single one of these insane, genetically enhanced, chaos-fueled creatures to survive it.


    Final Thoughts


    ? The war is real.


    ? The world isn¡¯t ready.


    ? The Good Boys were just the beginning.


    ? Mittens¡ªagainst all reason¡ªis actually useful now.


    ? I am never, ever getting my normal life back.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    This war needs soldiers.


    And I?


    I just got drafted.


    End Log.

 Chapter 37

    Intern¡¯s Log: It¡¯s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Do Not Feel Fine)


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I finally saw them. I wish I hadn¡¯t.)


    So.


    Here we are.


    The moment when all the conspiracy theories, classified files, and ridiculous mutant war-animal drama stop being funny.


    Because I saw them.


    The real ones.


    And now?


    Now I understand why the **Council of Aliens¡ªthe ones who were already furious that humanity uplifted raccoons, dogs, and cats instead of ourselves¡ª**refuses to acknowledge them.


    Because these things?


    They should not exist.


    Phase One: The Meeting I Didn¡¯t Want to Be In


    It started with a simple enough premise.


    "Reynolds," Eleanor had said, voice clipped, professional. "You¡¯re going to want to see this."


    And like an idiot, I followed her.


    To a secure facility.


    To a very dark room.


    To a holographic display that was broadcasting a live feed from an off-world surveillance station.


    A feed showing¡­ something.


    Something huge.


    Something wrong.


    Something very, very hungry.


    Phase Two: The First Look at the Real Monsters


    At first? I didn¡¯t even understand what I was looking at.


    It was too big.


    Not like a spaceship.


    Not like a fleet.


    Like a¡­ shadow.


    Like something that wasn¡¯t supposed to be there.


    And then it moved.


    And I saw¡ª


    ? Limbs where there shouldn¡¯t be limbs.


    ? Mouths where there shouldn¡¯t be mouths.


    ? A shifting, writhing form that didn¡¯t follow the rules of biology as I understood it.


    ? And eyes¡ªGod, the eyes.


    Hundreds.


    Thousands.


    All watching.


    And all very, very aware of the fact that we were watching back.


    Phase Three: The Council¡¯s Response


    "What the hell is that?" I whispered.


    Eleanor¡¯s jaw was tight.


    "We don¡¯t know."


    "What do you mean, you don¡¯t know? The aliens have a goddamn space council, right? Ask them!"


    Eleanor exhaled sharply.


    "We did."


    She turned, tapped a command, and a new screen flickered on.


    This one?


    This one showed representatives of the Galactic Council.


    The ones who had previously scolded humanity for uplifting animals instead of ourselves.


    The ones who had told us to ¡°contain our chaos.¡±


    And now?


    They all looked¡­


    Terrified.


    Phase Four: The Moment It Got Worse


    "You¡¯ve seen it," one of the council members, a being made of light and crystal, said slowly, carefully.


    "Yes," Eleanor confirmed. "And we need information."


    A long silence.


    Then, the crystalline alien shook its head.


    Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.


    "It does not exist."


    I blinked.


    "Excuse me?"


    "It does not exist." the alien repeated, voice firmer.


    "But we¡¯re looking at it," I argued. "Right now. On a screen. Existing."


    "No," another council member, something vaguely aquatic, said. "You do not understand. It does not exist."


    And that¡¯s when I realized something.


    They weren¡¯t lying.


    They weren¡¯t covering up information.


    They were genuinely incapable of acknowledging this thing as real.


    Which meant¡ª


    Oh. Oh holy hell.


    Phase Five: What This Means (And Why I Am Losing My Mind)


    So let¡¯s break this down:


    ? Humanity has seen some weird stuff.


    ? The Council of Aliens has seen even weirder stuff.


    ? But this? This is something even they refuse to acknowledge.


    ? Not "won¡¯t acknowledge"¡ªliterally cannot process as real.


    Which means one of two things:


    Whatever this thing is, it exists outside the scope of normal physics, biology, or reality.


    It has been erased from existence so thoroughly that even the oldest spacefaring civilizations can¡¯t perceive it.


    Either way?


    We are not ready for this.


    Phase Six: The Part Where I Start Panicking


    "So what do we do?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.


    The Council was silent.


    Too silent.


    Like they had already decided we weren¡¯t worth saving.


    And then¡ª


    Then, Vicky, who had been watching this entire time, finally spoke.


    "We fight."


    She turned to me, golden eyes sharp, unreadable.


    "And this time, Reynolds?"


    "We don¡¯t fight like humans."


    I felt my stomach drop.


    Because I knew what she meant.


    She meant the Good Boys.


    She meant Bandit and his chaos.


    She meant Fen and his wolf cult.


    She meant Mittens, psychotic as he was, leading his delusional cat-army into something real.


    She meant¡ª


    The uplifted.


    Because if this thing was outside the laws of reality¡ª


    Then we couldn¡¯t rely on the species that built civilization within those laws to stop it.


    We needed the ones that were never supposed to exist in the first place.


    We needed the ones who broke the rules just by being alive.


    Phase Seven: The Final Realization


    ? The Council is afraid.


    ? The thing we saw is real¡ªbut also not real.


    ? Humanity was never supposed to see this.


    ? And the only ones who might stand a chance against it?


    Are the misfits, the outcasts, the genetic experiments, the rejects.


    The uplifted.


    For the first time in my life, I actually understood.


    Maybe we really do need non-human troops after all.


    Because this fight?


    It was never going to be won by humans alone.


    Final Thoughts


    ? This is worse than anything I imagined.


    ? The universe has been lying to itself about this thing for centuries.


    ? Vicky, Eleanor, and Mittens are already preparing for war.


    ? I am once again in the middle of something way above my pay grade.


    ? I am never sleeping again.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this:


    The rules don¡¯t matter anymore.


    Because we¡¯re fighting something that was never supposed to be fought.


    And we?


    We were never supposed to exist, either.


    End Log.

 Chapter 38

    Intern¡¯s Log: Brisket, Deep-Fried Snickers, and Diplomatic Suicide


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I am about to negotiate with a warlord raccoon using only barbecue and dessert.)


    So.


    The world is ending.


    Alien horrors that "don¡¯t exist" are coming.


    The Galactic Council refuses to acknowledge them.


    The only ones who might be able to fight back are a collection of genetically engineered war animals and lunatics.


    And somehow, in all of this¡ª


    I have been sent to talk to Bandit.


    Bandit.


    The rogue, raccoon warlord who once stole a military drone just to use it as his personal taco delivery system.


    And you know what?


    I DON¡¯T SPEAK RUSSIAN.


    Phase One: The Plan, If You Can Even Call It That


    Eleanor, ever the bringer of bad news, was the one to tell me.


    "Bandit controls the largest independent force outside of conventional militaries. If we want a unified front, we need him."


    "You do it," I¡¯d said, immediately.


    "He doesn¡¯t like me."


    "He doesn¡¯t like anyone."


    "Exactly. But he likes you the most."


    And that¡¯s when I realized¡ª


    I am Bandit¡¯s favorite chew toy.


    Not his friend.


    Not his trusted ally.


    Not even his enemy.


    Just the one human he enjoys screwing with the most.


    Which, in his twisted little mind, means I am the closest thing he has to a diplomat.


    So now?


    Now I have to fly into his war camp¡ªdeep in Russian territory¡ª


    Walk into his stolen military compound¡ªfilled with heavily armed bears, raccoons, and defectors¡ª


    And convince him to fight the real enemy instead of just stealing more tanks.


    I am going to die.


    Phase Two: The Only Bribe That Might Work


    So, what do you take to a warlord raccoon with a penchant for Mongolian BBQ, a deep mistrust of authority, and an ego the size of Siberia?


    A bribe.


    But not just any bribe.


    Something so uniquely tempting that even Bandit¡ªchaos incarnate¡ªwould pause long enough to listen.


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.


    And after some deep reflection, I landed on two key offerings.


    Texas brisket.


    Smoked for 16 hours.


    Melt-in-your-mouth, fall-apart, slow-cooked perfection.


    The kind of meat that could make a grown man rethink his entire life.


    Deep-fried Snickers bars.


    Because Bandit, despite being a war criminal, has the palate of a state fair addict.


    Sugary, greasy, ridiculous American excess in a single bite.


    And most importantly¡ªsomething he has definitely never stolen before.


    If anything can get Bandit to sit still for five minutes, it¡¯s barbecue and novelty deep-fried desserts.


    Phase Three: The Risks (Besides Certain Death)


    Let¡¯s be clear:


    Bandit hates the U.S. government.


    ? He actively mocks our intelligence agencies.


    ? He once hacked a military database just to replace classified briefings with memes.


    ? He has personally declared the IRS his "sworn blood enemy."


    ? He stole an F-35 once, and we still don¡¯t know where he put it.


    So walking in with an offer of ¡°cooperation¡±?


    Yeah. This is an uphill battle.


    My only hope is that he will be too busy eating brisket and deep-fried Snickers to immediately throw me into a raccoon prison.


    Phase Four: The Logistics of This Disaster


    So here¡¯s the actual plan:


    Get on a military transport. (Because apparently I¡¯m important now? What the hell?)


    Fly to a frozen hellscape where Bandit has established his ¡°capital.¡± (Read: A stolen Russian military base full of mercenary lunatics.)


    Walk in, unarmed, carrying the finest smoked brisket and fried Snickers known to man.


    Attempt, using only charades, bribes, and sheer desperation, to convince Bandit that fighting alien horrors is a better use of his time than annoying world governments.


    Survive.


    The survival part is questionable.


    Phase Five: My Current Mental State


    ? I am flying into a war zone.


    ? To negotiate with a raccoon warlord.


    ? With barbecue and deep-fried candy as my primary bargaining tools.


    ? I do not speak Russian.


    ? I am, objectively, a moron.


    I need to pack.


    I need to pray.


    And I need to accept the fact that if this goes wrong, my final resting place will be a snowbank somewhere in Siberia, while Bandit eats my brisket over my frozen corpse.


    End Log.

 Chapter 39

    Intern¡¯s Log: Wait, Does Russia Even Have Raccoons?


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I should have asked this question before preparing for diplomatic barbecue.)


    So, I was halfway through packing up a platter of smoked brisket and deep-fried Snickers bars for my upcoming suicide mission¡ªsorry, diplomatic mission¡ªto negotiate with Bandit, when a deeply horrifying thought hit me.


    Does Russia even have raccoons?


    Like, in the wild? Naturally?


    Because if they don¡¯t, then that means Bandit isn¡¯t just a warlord.


    That means Bandit is an invasive species.


    Phase One: A Very Concerning Google Search


    So I did what any responsible, government-sanctioned disaster-magnet would do.


    I Googled it.


    And you know what I found?


    ? Russia technically does NOT have native raccoons.


    ? There were some imported as exotic pets.


    ? Some escaped. Some were abandoned.


    ? A few very questionable zoos might have released them into the wild.


    ? There are raccoon dogs, but those are a completely different species.


    But a full raccoon population?


    Not naturally.


    Which means¡ª


    Bandit is a walking ecological nightmare.


    Phase Two: The Horrifying Implications


    Bandit is an American export.


    We did this.


    We unleashed him upon an unsuspecting world.


    This is biological warfare, and we were not ready.


    Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators!


    Every raccoon in his army is either imported or cloned.


    This means he has taken active steps to spread his kind.


    This also means he has figured out how to make more of himself.


    That is, objectively, the worst-case scenario.


    The Russian government probably considers him an invasive pest.


    Which means they have tried to eliminate him before.


    And they failed.


    Which means he won.


    Bandit has outlasted Russia itself.


    Phase Three: How This Affects My Mission


    ? I am not just walking into a warlord¡¯s domain.


    ? I am walking into a raccoon colony that was never supposed to exist.


    ? There is no historical precedent for this.


    ? I have no idea how they are adapting to the Russian climate.


    ? They might be stronger than the original U.S. raccoons.


    ? I might be negotiating with a genetically superior, cold-resistant raccoon militia.


    And suddenly?


    This just got way more complicated.


    Phase Four: A Final, Terrifying Thought


    If Bandit has been running his operations in Russia for this long¡­


    If he has been cloning, recruiting, and expanding his numbers¡­


    If he has fully adapted to a country that never even had raccoons to begin with¡­


    Then that means¡ª


    This isn¡¯t just his base of operations.


    This is HIS COUNTRY NOW.


    Final Thoughts


    ? Bandit is an invasive species.


    ? Russia has been dealing with him like a furry insurgency.


    ? I am about to negotiate with the world¡¯s first warlord who was never supposed to exist.


    ? I have no idea if Russian raccoons are stronger, smarter, or more resilient than their American counterparts.


    ? I might be stepping into an entirely new evolutionary branch of raccoons.


    I need more brisket.


    And possibly a last will and testament.


    End Log.

 Chapter 40

    Intern¡¯s Log: Bandit Has a Lab, the Raccoons Are Not Uplifted (Thank God), and Now He Wants a Girlfriend?!


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I am in over my head. Again.)


    Well.


    That explains a lot.


    ? Bandit¡¯s war camp? Not just a stolen military base.


    ? The bears? Came from a secret Russian uplift project.


    ? The Russian scientists? Gone. Fled. Probably in therapy.


    ? The raccoons? NOT UPLIFTED. (Thank every deity available.)


    But now?


    Now Bandit wants a girlfriend.


    And guess who he wants to run the lab and ¡°continue the work¡±?


    Me.


    HE WANTS ME TO RUN THE DAMN LAB.


    Phase One: How I Found Out


    So I landed in Bandit¡¯s stolen military base-turned-rogue state with my brisket and deep-fried Snickers, ready for a simple negotiation.


    (Okay, not simple. But I thought my biggest problem would be convincing a war-crime raccoon to focus on the alien invasion instead of stealing more military vehicles.)


    Instead?


    Bandit greeted me like an old friend, took the barbecue, and immediately dropped a nuclear-grade bombshell.


    "Reynolds, my dear, esteemed, long-suffering friend."


    "I require a wife."


    I choked on my own spit.


    "I¡¯m sorry, what?!"


    "A wife. A queen. A companion of equal cunning and intellect. A lady of distinction."


    "Bandit," I said, rubbing my temples, "I am not a dating service."


    "No," he said, grinning with far too many teeth. "But you are now my lead scientist."


    Phase Two: The Lab, the Bears, and the Terrifying Implications


    So it turns out¡ª


    The Russian bear uplift project?


    Yeah, Bandit took the entire lab when the scientists fled.


    The entire facility, staff included, used to be dedicated to uplifted animal warfare research.


    The bears? First successful subjects.


    The raccoons? NOT UPLIFTED.


    They¡¯re just¡­ really well-organized.


    Because of course they are.


    Bandit doesn¡¯t want to uplift the raccoons.


    No, no, no.


    He¡¯s too smart for that.


    This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.


    He likes them just the way they are¡ªloyal, efficient, and always one step away from causing a diplomatic incident.


    Instead?


    He wants a partner.


    A true intellectual equal.


    And for that?


    He needs the lab running again.


    And the only scientist left to do it?


    Me.


    Phase Three: The Worst Job Offer in History


    "Bandit. Buddy. Chief. Listen to me." I said, desperately trying to keep my composure.


    "I am not a geneticist."


    "Details," he waved dismissively.


    "I do not run labs."


    "And yet, here you are."


    "Bandit, why would I¡ªwhy would ANYONE¡ªagree to this?!"


    Bandit grinned.


    And that¡¯s when I knew he had me.


    Because he leaned in, smug as hell, and said:


    "Because if you don¡¯t, someone else will. And they might not have¡­ your moral compass."


    And just like that, I was trapped.


    Because he was right.


    If I walked away from this?


    Someone worse would step in.


    And I have seen what happens when the wrong people get control of projects like this.


    It never ends well.


    Phase Four: The Absolute Worst Realization


    So let¡¯s recap.


    ? Bandit has an entire abandoned uplift research facility.


    ? The raccoons are just regular raccoons¡ªbut highly trained and extremely efficient.


    ? The bears were the only uplifted success stories.


    ? Bandit does not want to uplift more animals¡ªhe just wants ONE genetically enhanced ¡°queen.¡±


    ? And he wants me to run the lab to make that happen.


    Which means¡ª


    I have officially become a mad scientist.


    And the worst part?


    I can¡¯t say no.


    Because if I don¡¯t run this lab, then someone else will.


    And I will not let another rogue geneticist start another nightmare experiment.


    Even if that means I now have to spend my days arguing with a raccoon warlord over his dating preferences.


    Final Thoughts (I Am Never Getting Out of This Life)


    ? Bandit is smarter than I ever gave him credit for.


    ? He is literally playing 4D chess while I am still trying to figure out checkers.


    ? I am now running a secret Russian genetics lab.


    ? My new job is to create the perfect genetically enhanced raccoon wife.


    ? I have officially lost control of my life.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    Bandit always gets what he wants.


    And I?


    I am never going to live this down.


    End Log.

 Chapter 41

    Intern¡¯s Log: Bandit, We Have a Time Crunch (And Also, Your Bears Are Angry)


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I am now responsible for solving both interspecies warfare and a bear rebellion.)


    So.


    I am now the lead scientist for a stolen Russian uplift lab, despite not being a scientist, Russian, or remotely qualified for this.


    Bandit has given me one job:


    ? Create him the perfect genetically enhanced raccoon wife.


    BUT.


    While Bandit is busy micromanaging his personal dating experiment, he has failed to realize a much bigger problem brewing right under his nose.


    The bears.


    The very large, very uplifted, very ARMED bears.


    And guess what?


    The Russians never made any female ursines.


    That¡¯s right.


    We are sitting on two thousand grumpy, hyper-intelligent, battle-trained, extremely frustrated bears who have just now realized that their creators never considered their long-term social needs.


    And if we do not solve this problem immediately, we are about to have a full-blown bear mutiny on our hands.


    Phase One: The Conversation That Ended My Will to Live


    I marched straight into Bandit¡¯s stolen command room, ignoring the fact that his "office" was a former Russian general¡¯s quarters, now covered in stolen NATO patches and crude raccoon artwork.


    "Bandit." I said, voice clipped, because I am DONE playing nice.


    He looked up from a blueprint labeled "The Ultimate Wife Project?."


    "Ah, Reynolds! Come to discuss the details of my queen¡¯s genetic perfection?"


    "No."


    "Hmm?"


    I slapped a stack of reports onto his desk.


    "You might want to think about what happens when TWO THOUSAND extremely grumpy, hyper-intelligent bears realize they¡¯re never getting laid."


    Phase Two: Bandit Realizes He¡¯s Screwed


    Bandit froze.


    Then slowly, very slowly, picked up the top page.


    I watched as his smug expression morphed into something that could only be described as "deeply troubled math calculations."


    "They¡­" he trailed off, reading. "They never made any¡­ female bears?"


    "Nope."


    "Not even one?"


    The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.


    "Not. One."


    Bandit stared at the ceiling, processing.


    "So what you¡¯re saying is¡­"


    "Bandit, I am saying that you are the warlord of a nation of pissed-off, sexually frustrated supersoldier bears, and if you do not solve this problem IMMEDIATELY, we are all going to die in a bear uprising."


    A long, painful pause.


    Then Bandit carefully put down the report.


    "¡­Right. Yes. Of course. Just as I planned."


    HE DID NOT PLAN FOR THIS.


    Phase Three: The Problems Keep Getting Worse


    ? Bandit is now realizing the biological oversight of his entire army.


    ? The bears are beginning to ask "uncomfortable questions" about their future.


    ? If they get mad enough, they could decide that Bandit is an incompetent leader.


    ? Bandit, in his infinite wisdom, did not prepare for bear civil unrest.


    And the worst part?


    We are on a deadline.


    Because the eldritch horrors in space?


    Yeah.


    They aren¡¯t going to wait for us to figure out bear dating logistics.


    Phase Four: Bandit¡¯s So-Called Solution


    Bandit, ever the master strategist, sat back in his chair, steepled his fingers, and said:


    "We must act swiftly and decisively."


    "Oh? You have a plan?" I asked, against my better judgment.


    He smirked. The worst kind of smirk.


    "Yes. I will do what I do best."


    Oh no.


    "Reynolds, it¡¯s time¡­"


    "Don¡¯t say it."


    "¡­to steal a solution."


    GOD DAMN IT, BANDIT.


    Phase Five: The Part Where I Hate My Life


    So now, in addition to being forced to run a stolen genetics lab to create Bandit¡¯s ideal wife, I am also tasked with figuring out a way to introduce female bears into this population before we get overthrown by an uprising of resentful ursine super-soldiers.


    And Bandit?


    Bandit has decided that the "best solution" is to steal female bears from somewhere else.


    Where?


    He has not specified.


    How?


    "Reynolds, details."


    Is this going to end horribly?


    Yes. Absolutely yes.


    Final Thoughts (I Am Losing My Mind)


    ? Bandit¡¯s raccoons are not uplifted, but his bears are.


    ? The Russian scientists never thought about bear reproduction.


    ? Now, we are sitting on two thousand emotionally and biologically distressed bears who are just now realizing what they¡¯ve lost.


    ? Bandit is now planning a "bear acquisition mission."


    ? I am somehow the only voice of reason in this nightmare.


    I don¡¯t know how this ends.


    But I do know this¡ª


    If I live through this?


    I am demanding a raise.


    End Log.

 Chapter 42

    Intern¡¯s Log: Where Are the Female Bears?!


    Date: Redacted


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I cannot believe this is my job now.)


    So.


    The Good Boys are preparing for war against an existential, possibly extra-dimensional alien threat.


    Meanwhile, Bandit is preparing for war against an existential, entirely biological bear crisis.


    Because as previously stated¡ª


    ? The Russian uplift program only made male bears.


    ? There are two thousand of them.


    ? They are highly intelligent, heavily armed, and increasingly aware that they have no future.


    And if we do not solve this problem soon, we are about to have a bear insurrection.


    So Bandit, in his infinite raccoon wisdom, has given me one mission:


    "Find the highest concentration of female bears on Earth."


    So now, instead of doing literally anything normal with my life, I am sitting here, in a stolen Russian lab, Googling ¡®where do I find female bears¡¯ like a lunatic.


    Phase One: The Most Insane Research of My Life


    Alright, let¡¯s break this down.


    If we are looking for large, viable populations of female bears, we need:


    ? A stable breeding population


    ? A strong genetic diversity


    ? A place Bandit can reasonably steal from without immediately triggering World War III


    ? Bears that are as close to the Russian uplifted species as possible


    Which means, after extensive research (and a lot of swearing), I have narrowed it down to three possible sources.


    Option #1: The Kamchatka Peninsula, Russia


    ? Russia¡¯s largest wild brown bear population.


    ? Home to over 10,000 bears, with a strong male-to-female ratio.


    ? Genetically closest to the uplifted bears.


    ? Logistically the easiest to access, since we¡¯re already operating in Russia.


    Pros:


    The easiest option.


    The least likely to get Bandit nuked.


    No international borders to cross.


    Cons:


    This is stealing bears from the Russian wilderness.


    The Russian government might not like that.


    The bears might not like that.


    We might start a literal Bear Mafia.


    Likelihood of success: 7/10


    Likelihood of causing another Russian bioengineering disaster: 8/10


    Option #2: Alaska, United States


    ? Over 30,000 wild brown and grizzly bears.


    ? Similar size and genetic profile to Russian uplifted bears.


    ? Huge, stable populations in Denali and Kodiak Island.


    Pros:


    More bears than Russia.


    Stronger genetic variety.


    Would allow us to introduce American bear genes into the uplifted population.


    Cons:


    The U.S. government is already mad at Bandit.


    This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.


    The U.S. government is already mad at ME.


    Stealing bears from Alaska might actually break my last remaining diplomatic ties with normal civilization.


    If we mess this up, we are looking at an actual, federal, ¡°The United States vs. Raccoon Warlord Bandit¡± criminal case.


    Likelihood of success: 5/10


    Likelihood of ending up on an FBI watchlist: 10/10


    Option #3: Zoos and Sanctuaries (International Bear Heist Edition)


    ? Hundreds of female bears in captivity worldwide.


    ? Easier to access than the wilderness.


    ? Would allow for species mixing¡ªgrizzlies, black bears, and even polar bears.


    Pros:


    Much easier to track individual genetic records.


    Easier to isolate specific breeding candidates.


    Could theoretically be passed off as a ¡°conservation effort¡± instead of outright bear theft.


    Cons:


    This would require an international, multi-country zoo heist.


    I cannot emphasize this enough: AN INTERNATIONAL ZOO HEIST.


    We are not the protagonists of a heist movie, but Bandit would absolutely treat this like one.


    If we get caught, this will make headlines. Big, stupid, unmissable headlines.


    Likelihood of success: 3/10


    Likelihood of me getting arrested in at least three different countries: 11/10


    Phase Two: The Part Where I Have to Tell Bandit


    I took my finalized bear data and walked back into Bandit¡¯s ¡°office¡±, where he was very seriously adjusting schematics for his ¡°ideal wife project.¡±


    "Alright, Bandit. I have three options."


    He did not look up.


    "Do any of them involve seducing a foreign diplomat and blackmailing them for bears?"


    "No."


    "Fine. Proceed."


    I explained each option in painful detail.


    Bandit listened.


    He thought.


    And then, after several agonizing moments, he said:


    "Why not all three?"


    NO. NO, BANDIT. THAT IS NOT HOW THIS WORKS.


    Phase Three: The Only Realistic Solution (Probably)


    After much negotiation, Bandit and I have agreed to the following compromise:


    ? Step One: We start with Kamchatka¡ªthe safest, most logistically viable option.


    ? Step Two: If that fails, we pivot to Alaska, but only if we can do it without triggering an international incident.


    ? Step Three: We DO NOT attempt an international zoo heist, no matter how many movies Bandit has watched.


    (Vicky, for the record, looked very disappointed about this last decision.)


    So now?


    Now I have to figure out how to steal female bears from the Russian wilderness.


    Which means I have officially hit rock bottom.


    Final Thoughts (I Hate My Life)


    ? Bandit is treating this like a logistics operation instead of an insane crime.


    ? We are somehow avoiding international bear theft (for now).


    ? If we don¡¯t fix this soon, the bears will revolt.


    ? Vicky is still watching me suffer with great amusement.


    ? I am actively planning a bear repopulation effort instead of fighting aliens.


    I don¡¯t know how my life came to this.


    But I do know one thing.


    This?


    This is only the beginning.


    End Log.

 Chapter 43

    Intern¡¯s Log: Oh God, The Bears


    Date: [Unknown ¨C Definitely Too Late to Stop This]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I have survived the Good Boys. Now I must survive the bears.)


    So.


    It has been months since I first arrived at Project Canid, where I was subjected to:


    ? A German Shepherd who is waiting for his moment to take over.


    ? A Boston Terrier with a deep love for explosions and psychological warfare.


    ? A Labrador who refuses to let anyone stop fighting.


    ? A Malinois who can be anywhere, at any time, just to mess with me.


    ? A husky who has already hacked this log before I finish writing it.


    ? A coyote-mix tracker who has been studying me like prey.


    And all of that?


    All of that was just the warm-up.


    Because now?


    Now there are the bears.


    And I do not think humanity is ready for this.


    Phase One: The Russian Uplift Program, Or "Why Are We Like This?"


    Project Canid?


    That was an American mistake.


    But the uplifted bears?


    That was all Russia.


    ? Two thousand highly intelligent, genetically enhanced ursine soldiers.


    ? Designed for endurance, brute force, and battlefield adaptability.


    ? Originally created to be deployed in extreme environments.


    ? Problem: The Russian scientists never made any females.


    Which means:


    ? They have no long-term future.


    ? They have realized this.


    ? They are very, very angry about it.


    And now?


    Now they are no longer listening to orders.


    Phase Two: Bandit Made This Worse


    So when the scientists fled and the bears took over the lab, you would think that would be the worst-case scenario.


    But then Bandit showed up.


    Because of course he did.


    ? He stole the lab.


    ? He took command of the entire bear population.


    ? He somehow convinced them he was their leader.


    ? Which makes no sense, because he is a raccoon.


    And now?


    Now the bears aren¡¯t just angry.


    Now they are organized.


    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.


    Which means we are all in serious, serious trouble.


    Phase Three: The Bears Are Not Just Smart. They Are Planning.


    Here¡¯s the thing:


    The Good Boys were dangerous, but they were predictable.


    ? Chips wanted control.


    ? Stubby wanted chaos.


    ? Cairo wanted access.


    ? Nemo wanted a fight.


    But the bears?


    The bears do not want revenge.


    The bears do not want chaos.


    The bears do not even want war.


    The bears want a future.


    And that?


    That is so much worse.


    Because a future means a plan.


    And a plan means they are thinking long-term.


    And if they are thinking long-term¡­


    That means they are not just a rogue military force anymore.


    They are a civilization waiting to happen.


    Phase Four: What I Have Witnessed So Far


    ? The bears have built settlements.


    ? The bears have taken over abandoned Russian military stockpiles.


    ? The bears are developing a form of government.


    ? The bears are training younger recruits¡ªnot just for combat, but for infrastructure.


    ? The bears have created a written language.


    Let me repeat that last one.


    The bears have created a written language.


    That is not normal.


    That is not supposed to happen.


    That is something a species does when they are preparing to outlive their creators.


    And if they are already here?


    Then we have passed the point of no return.


    Phase Five: What Comes Next (And Why I Am Terrified)


    The Good Boys were a controlled project that got out of hand.


    The bears?


    The bears are building something new.


    ? They are adapting to human weapons and tactics.


    ? They are claiming land.


    ? They are refusing to acknowledge human sovereignty.


    ? And they are watching.


    Because here¡¯s the thing¡ª


    They do not need humans.


    They do not want to be part of our world.


    They are creating their own.


    And when they are ready?


    They will decide whether or not we fit into it.


    Final Thoughts (We Are Not in Control Anymore)


    ? The bears are no longer an experiment.


    ? The bears are no longer a failed military project.


    ? The bears are a rising power.


    ? And Bandit is playing his own game, using them for his own purposes.


    I do not know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    The era of human dominance is over.


    And the Ursine age has begun.


    End Log.

 Chapter 44

    Intern¡¯s Log: ¡°Fur Cave¡± Means ¡°Thief Beware¡±¡ªAnd Now I Understand Why


    Date: [Too Late to Stop This]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I regret everything. Again.)


    So.


    It happened.


    The thing we were all afraid of.


    The bears¡ªthe highly intelligent, organized, heavily armed, genetically uplifted bears¡ªhave stolen female bears to ensure their survival.


    ? They raided the Kamchatka Peninsula first.


    ? They took additional bears from Alaska.


    ? Somehow, they even stole from North American wildlife reserves.


    ? And because that wasn¡¯t enough, they found a genetic profile for a species that doesn¡¯t exist anymore.


    A California Golden Bear.


    Which means¡­


    I am now responsible for creating the first female uplifted bear.


    And I?


    I regret everything.


    Phase One: Bandit¡¯s Grand Theft Ursine (Or, ¡°How to Start an International Crisis¡±)


    I should have seen it coming.


    Bandit has never once backed down from a challenge.


    So when the bears realized they had no future without female counterparts, Bandit took it as a personal mission.


    And he succeeded.


    ? He infiltrated Russian wildlife reserves.


    ? He launched precision raids on U.S. bear populations.


    ? He orchestrated a multi-continental bear heist.


    ? And the worst part? No one knows how he pulled it off.


    Drones caught glimpses of masked operatives in the dead of night¡ªfigures moving with perfect coordination, disabling security, and vanishing into the forests with captured bears.


    No alarms were triggered.


    No authorities were alerted in time.


    No one stopped them.


    And now?


    The bears are no longer an endangered experiment.


    They are a species.


    Phase Two: The California Golden Bear¡ªThe One They Want Me to Make


    As if stealing living bears wasn¡¯t enough, Bandit somehow got his tiny, furry paws on a fully sequenced genetic profile for a California Golden Bear.


    This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.


    For those not familiar with Earth¡¯s history:


    ? California Golden Bears went extinct in the 1920s.


    ? They were massive, powerful apex predators¡ªbigger than grizzlies.


    ? Humans wiped them out because we feared them.


    ? And now, Bandit wants me to bring them back.


    "Congratulations, Reynolds," he said, handing me the files with his little smug raccoon fingers.


    "You get to make history."


    I do not want to make history.


    I want to go home.


    Phase Three: The Science I Should Not Be Doing


    I was given a fully operational lab.


    Bandit provided stolen equipment.


    The bears provided security.


    And now?


    Now I am actively participating in the creation of an entirely new species.


    ? I have the genetic profile.


    ? I have the means to modify it for uplift.


    ? I have NO ethical oversight.


    This is not what I signed up for.


    And yet¡­


    As I stare at the sequencing data, I realize something horrifying.


    This is going to work.


    Phase Four: The Silver Lining I Am Desperately Clinging To


    I can¡¯t stop this.


    Even if I destroy my work, Bandit will find another scientist.


    Even if the world finds out, the bears will not stop.


    This is happening.


    But¡­


    Maybe, just maybe, this isn¡¯t the worst thing.


    Because if the bears have a future now¡ª


    That means they have something to protect.


    And when the existential enemy finally arrives¡ª


    When the horrors from beyond the void threaten all life on Earth¡ª


    The bears will have something to fight for.


    They will choose survival.


    They will choose our side.


    And that?


    That might be the only thing keeping me from losing my mind.


    Final Thoughts (I Am Going to Need a Stiff Drink After This)


    ? The bears have successfully stolen the means of their survival.


    ? They are no longer just a rogue military force.


    ? They are a civilization.


    ? And I have just made sure they have a future.


    ? When the war comes, they will fight for it.


    I don¡¯t know what history will say about me.


    But I do know this¡ª


    If humanity wants to survive the end of the world?


    We are going to need the bears.


    End Log.

 Chapter 45

    Intern¡¯s Log: I Am Drunk, and I Have Made a Bear


    Date: [Who Cares ¨C I¡¯m Too Far Gone]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I regret. Everything.)


    Top of the world, Ma!


    You wanted grandkids?!


    WELL, HERE YOU GO.


    Her name ish Goldie.


    She ish the first of her kind.


    An¡¯ I¡­


    I did the thing.


    I made a goddamn bear.


    Phase One: The Whiskey-Fueled Breakdown


    Sssso lemme just lay it out real simple.


    ? Bandit stole bears.


    ? Bandit gave me bear DNA.


    ? Bandit gave me a lab.


    ? Bandit said, "Make a better bear."


    An¡¯ I was like,


    "No, Bandit, that¡¯s unethical."


    An¡¯ he was like,


    "Okay, but I already started the process."


    An¡¯ I was like,


    "Goddammit."


    An¡¯ then I did it.


    Because of course I did.


    Phase Two: Her Name is Goldie (Because I Am a Disaster)


    Shhhh. Listen.


    LISHEN.


    I made a bear.


    But not just any bear.


    I made¡­


    GOLDIE.


    ? First female uplifted bear.


    ? California Golden Bear genes.


    ? Bigger. Stronger. Smarter.


    ? Looks at me like she already knows my sins.


    An¡¯ you know what?


    I dunno how I feel about that.


    Becaushe¡­


    She blinked at me.


    She freakin¡¯ blinked at me.


    If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    An¡¯ I felt my soul leave my body.


    Like she¡¯sh already decided if I¡¯m useful or not.


    Phase Three: The Horrifying Realization


    Soooooo lemme get thish straight.


    ? The bears already had a plan.


    ? The bears already wanted a civilization.


    ? The bears already don¡¯t need humans.


    ? An¡¯ now they have her.


    Do you unnershtand what that means?


    Thish ish not just a military force.


    Thish ish not just an experiment.


    Thish is a species.


    An¡¯ Goldie?


    She ish the first.


    The First Mother.


    I shaid it.


    There.


    Itsh done.


    Phase Four: I Am Too Drunk For This


    Bandit came in to check on me.


    An¡¯ I yelled at him.


    "YOU MADE ME GOD, YOU LITTLE TRASH PANDA."


    An¡¯ you know what he did?


    HE TOOK A SIP OF MY WHISKEY AND TOASTED ME.


    THAT¡¯S NOT HOW THIS WORKS.


    Phase Five: The Only Thing Keeping Me Sane


    Lishen.


    Shhhh.


    If the bearsh are a species now¡­


    An¡¯ if they want a future¡­


    That meansh¡­


    When the existential threat comes¡­


    They are going to fight for it.


    They are going to fight for HER.


    An¡¯ that means¡­


    That meansh¡­


    Maybe¡­


    Maybe thish isn¡¯t the worst thing.


    Final Thoughtsh (I Need Water, and Maybe a Therapist)


    ? I made a bear.


    ? Her name is Goldie.


    ? She is the future of a species.


    ? I am too drunk to process what I have done.


    ? Bandit is still drinking my whiskey.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know thish¡ª


    The bears have a future.


    An¡¯ when the world ish ending?


    They will fight for it.


    End Log. (¡­Or whatever. Someone get me water.)

 Chapter 46

    Intern¡¯s Log: I Am Sober (No, Really) and Now I Have to Make Bandit a Girlfriend


    Date: [God Help Me]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I have made one impossible creature, and now I have to make another.)


    Alright.


    I¡¯m sober.


    I¡¯m fine.


    No, really.


    I drank water.


    I ate a sandwich.


    I sat in a dark room for an hour whispering ¡°What have I done?¡±


    And now?


    Now I have fully processed the fact that I have successfully created the first female uplifted bear.


    And what does that mean for me?


    Am I being awarded a Nobel Prize?


    Am I being placed under government protection?


    Am I finally getting transferred away from this nightmare?


    No.


    It means I now have to MAKE BANDIT A GIRLFRIEND.


    Because of course I do.


    Because of course that¡¯s where this was going.


    Because Bandit is a megalomaniacal raccoon who believes that if the bears get a future, he should get one too.


    And I?


    I regret everything.


    Phase One: Bandit¡¯s Perfect Woman (Yes, This is Happening)


    I tried arguing.


    I tried explaining that maybe we should, I don¡¯t know, FOCUS ON THE EXISTENTIAL THREAT COMING TO DESTROY THE PLANET.


    Bandit?


    Bandit did not care.


    "Reynolds," he said, sipping MY coffee like he owned the place, "the bears have their queen. And now, it¡¯s time for the Procyon line to ascend."


    I blinked.


    "The what?"


    "The Procyon line. My dynasty. My future empire. You know, the logical next step in my reign."


    "Bandit, you are a raccoon."


    "A visionary raccoon."


    "You¡¯re asking me to create the first genetically enhanced raccoon woman."


    "Yes."


    I dragged my hands down my face.


    "You do realize that, scientifically speaking, uplifted raccoons are probably a terrible idea?"


    Bandit just grinned.


    "I¡¯ll take my chances."


    I hate my life.


    Phase Two: The Absolute Worst Science Project in History


    So now?


    Now I am sequencing the first-ever uplifted female raccoon.


    ? I have the genetic foundation.


    ? I have the means to enhance intelligence.


    ? I have literally zero ethical oversight anymore.


    Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.


    ? I have Bandit watching me like I¡¯m painting the Mona Lisa.


    And do you know what he told me?


    Do you know what this smug, power-hungry, disaster of a trash panda told me?!


    "Make her smart. But not too smart, or she might challenge me for leadership."


    THIS IS MY LIFE NOW.


    Phase Three: The Worst Part is That It¡¯s Working


    Here¡¯s the thing.


    I thought, Surely, this will fail. Surely, we will hit some genetic roadblock.


    Nope.


    This is happening.


    The sequencing is stable.


    The uplift modifications are taking.


    And if this continues¡­


    We will soon have the first uplifted female raccoon.


    Which means¡­


    There is going to be a second Bandit.


    And I do not think the world is ready for that.


    Phase Four: The Terrifying Realization (This is a Power Play)


    Here¡¯s what¡¯s really bothering me.


    Bandit is not stupid.


    Bandit is not just doing this for companionship.


    Bandit is thinking ahead.


    ? The bears have a future now.


    ? They will grow, expand, and survive.


    ? Bandit sees that and knows that he needs a future too.


    ? And the only way to secure that?


    ? Make sure raccoons don¡¯t get left behind.


    This isn¡¯t just about him.


    This is about legacy.


    This is about power.


    Bandit is building something.


    And I am actively helping him do it.


    I have become a goddamn evolutionary engineer for a raccoon dictator.


    Phase Five: The Only Silver Lining (I Think?)


    Alright.


    Deep breath.


    Let¡¯s be rational about this.


    This is happening.


    There is no stopping it.


    So, what¡¯s the best-case scenario?


    ? Bandit gets his queen.


    ? The uplifted raccoons become a stable species.


    ? Like the bears, they will have a future.


    ? And when the real war comes¡­


    They will fight to protect it.


    Because Bandit may be a power-hungry lunatic¡­


    But he wants to win.


    And he knows survival means standing against the real enemy.


    So maybe¡ªjust maybe¡ªthis isn¡¯t the worst thing I¡¯ve done.


    (It¡¯s still up there, though.)


    Final Thoughts (I Am So, So Tired)


    ? The first female uplifted bear exists.


    ? Now I have to make the first female uplifted raccoon.


    ? Bandit is already planning a dynasty.


    ? This is either the greatest evolutionary moment in history¡­ or the worst mistake humanity has ever made.


    ? I am too exhausted to care anymore.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    The future is no longer just human.


    End Log.

 Chapter 47

    Intern¡¯s Log: Why Does Bandit¡¯s ¡°Queen¡± Have a British Accent and Three Tails?


    Date: [Honestly, Does It Even Matter Anymore?]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I have made a mistake. A very sophisticated, multi-tailed mistake.)


    Okay.


    She exists.


    The first uplifted female raccoon is alive, awake, and already judging me.


    ? She¡¯s intelligent.


    ? She¡¯s well-spoken.


    ? She¡¯s calculating.


    ? And for some godforsaken reason, she has a proper British accent.


    And the tails.


    The goddamn tails.


    She has three of them.


    And I do not know why.


    I did not do that.


    I swear to every scientific principle I hold dear, I did not intentionally give her three tails.


    But now?


    Now I have to explain this to Bandit.


    And I am not ready for that conversation.


    Phase One: The First Words of the Most Confusing Creature I Have Ever Created


    So, I was expecting her to wake up confused.


    Maybe a little disoriented.


    You know, the usual ¡°Oh wow, I¡¯m a genetically enhanced raccoon, how did I get here?¡± reaction.


    Instead?


    She opened her eyes, blinked at me, and said:


    "Well. This is certainly a new experience."


    IN A PERFECT, POSH, UPPER-CLASS BRITISH ACCENT.


    I dropped my clipboard.


    Phase Two: The Tails (What the Hell is This?)


    After recovering from the whole ¡°sentient raccoon woman sounds like she should be hosting a BBC nature documentary¡± situation, I noticed the other major anomaly.


    Three. Tails.


    Not one.


    Not two.


    Three.


    Why?!


    I checked the genetic sequencing.


    There is no reason for this.


    This is not a mutation.


    This is not an error.


    This is something deliberate.


    Which means¡­


    Something influenced this outcome.


    And that something sure as hell wasn¡¯t me.


    Phase Three: The Conversation I Did Not Want to Have


    So, after an hour of staring at her like she was an unsolvable equation, Bandit finally walked in.


    Saw her.


    Paused.


    Then grinned so wide I thought his face might split in half.


    Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    "Brilliant." he whispered.


    Then he turned to me.


    "Reynolds, my dear, my genius, my mad scientist¡ª"


    "No." I said immediately.


    "I LOVE HER."


    "NO."


    "LOOK AT HER! She¡¯s perfect!"


    "BANDIT, SHE HAS THREE TAILS."


    He tilted his head.


    "So?"


    "THAT IS NOT NORMAL."


    "Neither am I."


    I wanted to scream.


    Phase Four: The British Accent Problem


    "Alright," I said, pinching the bridge of my nose.


    "Let¡¯s set aside the tail issue. WHY DOES SHE SOUND BRITISH?"


    Bandit shrugged.


    "Class."


    "WHAT?!"


    "Reynolds, my fine, unsuspecting genius, if I am to build a dynasty, my queen must have elegance."


    I stared at him.


    "You planned this."


    "I hoped for it. And you delivered."


    He turned to her, bowing slightly.


    "My lady. Your name shall be¡ª"


    She raised a hand, silencing him immediately.


    "I shall choose my own name, thank you."


    BANDIT LIT UP LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE.


    "YES. YES! A QUEEN WITH INDEPENDENCE!"


    I am going to die.


    Phase Five: What the Tails Might Actually Mean (I Don¡¯t Like the Answer)


    Okay.


    Now that I¡¯ve had time to think about it, I have a theory.


    There are certain legends¡ªcertain mythological creatures¡ªthat have extra tails.


    Not in raccoons.


    But in foxes.


    And in some cultures, the more tails they have, the wiser and more powerful they become.


    So, what if?


    What if this isn¡¯t a mistake?


    What if her biology was influenced by something bigger?


    What if she isn¡¯t just an uplifted raccoon?


    What if she is something more?


    I do not like that thought.


    Not one bit.


    Phase Six: What Happens Now?


    ? Bandit has his queen.


    ? She is intelligent, articulate, and possibly more dangerous than him.


    ? She has three tails, and no one knows why.


    ? Her existence is a mystery I may never solve.


    ? Bandit is thrilled.


    And the worst part?


    I think she likes him too.


    Which means¡­


    Bandit¡¯s dynasty isn¡¯t just a joke anymore.


    It¡¯s happening.


    Final Thoughts (I Am Going to Need So Much Therapy)


    ? The first uplifted female raccoon exists.


    ? She has three tails, and we do not know why.


    ? She has a British accent, and Bandit loves it.


    ? She might be the most intelligent thing I have ever created.


    ? Bandit is now the happiest raccoon in existence.


    I don¡¯t know what I have just unleashed.


    But I do know this¡ª


    This is only the beginning.


    End Log.

 Chapter 48

    Xenobiological Intern¡¯s Log: I Am Going to Anal Probe This Human Like Nobody¡¯s Business


    Date: [Utterly Unacceptable]


    Intern ID: Trainee Observer Zil-Vatek 349 (This is beyond ridiculous.)


    I have remained quiet for too long.


    I have observed.


    I have recorded.


    I have sent my reports.


    And yet, despite all of my warnings, the humans have now created TWO NEW INTELLIGENT SPECIES IN AS MANY MONTHS.


    This is no longer scientific observation.


    This is reckless, uncontrolled, borderline cosmic vandalism.


    And I?


    I am going to find this ¡°Reynolds¡± human and probe him like nobody¡¯s business.


    Phase One: My Superiors No Longer Think This is "Suboptimal"¡ªThey Think It''s a Crisis


    ? First, they uplifted the bears.


    ? Then, they ensured the bears could reproduce.


    ? Now, they have created a second uplifted species¡ªsentient raccoons.


    ? And not just any raccoons. A breeding pair.


    ? The male is already building an empire.


    ? The female has three tails for unknown reasons.


    My superior¡¯s response?


    "Zil-Vatek, this is no longer acceptable. Assess containment options."


    Oh. Oh, so NOW we care?!


    When I first reported on the rogue dog-soldiers, I was told:


    "Observe, but do not interfere."


    Then I reported on the bears forming a nation.


    "Monitor for further developments."


    Now?


    Now I report on a self-declared raccoon monarch and his multi-tailed queen, and suddenly it¡¯s:


    "Containment may be necessary."


    No. No, this is what happens when you ignore me for months.


    Now I am emotionally compromised and deeply petty.


    Phase Two: The Tails Are a Problem (And I Hate That I Have to Think About This)


    Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    Three tails.


    THREE.


    Why?


    WHY?!


    ? There is no biological reason for this.


    ? There is no scientific reason for this.


    ? There is, however, a cosmic horror reason for this.


    I have seen species manifest ¡°extra¡± traits when touched by anomalous forces.


    The humans have a term for this.


    They call them ¡°cryptids.¡±


    What if¡­


    What if this is not an enhancement?


    What if this is an inheritance?


    What if something else has already touched this experiment?


    I do not like that thought.


    I do not like this planet.


    I do not like any of this.


    Phase Three: Reynolds, You Have Some Explaining to Do


    This all tracks back to one human.


    ? He was there for the Good Boys.


    ? He was there when the bears took over.


    ? He was there when the first female bear was created.


    ? He was there when the first female raccoon was created.


    And now I must investigate him.


    And by investigate, I mean abduct.


    And by abduct, I mean anal probe.


    Because I need to know WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS HUMAN.


    Phase Four: The Next Steps (That My Superiors Will Regret Approving)


    ? Locate Reynolds.


    ? Acquire Reynolds.


    ? Perform extensive biological scans (WITH PROBES).


    ? Determine if he is the catalyst for this madness.


    ? Return him before his raccoon overlord notices he¡¯s missing.


    If he is responsible for this chaos, then containment may not be an option.


    We may need to consider¡­


    Permanent intervention.


    Because if humanity is going to continue creating new dominant species at this rate¡­


    Then the galactic community needs to step in before Earth turns into a rogue civilization-building factory.


    I will not sit idly by while this planet mass-produces entire new races.


    I will not be ignored again.


    I will find Reynolds.


    And I will probe him.


    Thoroughly.


    End Log.

 Chapter 49

    Intern¡¯s Log: When Interns Collide (Or, How I Was Abducted By an Alien Who Hates Me)


    Date: [?????]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I have been kidnapped, and I am not handling it well.)


    So.


    I woke up somewhere very, very wrong.


    ? Not in my lab.


    ? Not in my bunk.


    ? Not even on Earth.


    I woke up in a sterile, glowing white room, strapped to a table, while a very angry alien hovered over me with something that looked suspiciously like a probing instrument.


    And do you know what I said?


    "Oh, come on."


    Phase One: The Alien Intern Has Lost His Patience


    The alien standing over me was not happy.


    ? Grayish skin, vaguely humanoid.


    ? Big, pissed-off black eyes.


    ? A lab coat (why does he have a lab coat?).


    ? And a very, very judgmental expression.


    "You," he hissed, jabbing a finger at me, "are the source of all of my problems."


    I blinked.


    "I don¡¯t even know who you are."


    He took a deep breath, like he was holding back the urge to strangle me.


    "I am Trainee Observer Zil-Vatek 349, and I have been monitoring Earth for months."


    "Cool. Still don¡¯t know you."


    "YOU." He jabbed at my chest again. "Are the reason I now have to report that humanity has CREATED TWO NEW SPECIES. DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW IRRESPONSIBLE THAT IS?"


    I shrugged.


    "Look, man. In my defense, the raccoon made me do it."


    Zil-Vatek looked like he was having a full existential crisis.


    Phase Two: The Argument That Should Not Have Happened


    "You uplifted the bears!" he yelled.


    "Technically, the Russians did that!"


    "And now YOU¡¯VE GIVEN THEM FEMALES!"


    "That one¡¯s on Bandit!"


    "AND THE RACCOONS?!"


    "Okay, yeah, that was me."


    He threw his hands in the air.


    "DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS?!"


    "Yeah. It means I need a drink."


    Phase Three: The Alien¡¯s Actual Problem With Me


    Once he finally stopped yelling, he took a very deep, very long breath and rubbed his temples.


    "Reynolds," he said, in a very forced, very calm voice. "Do you understand why I am angry?"


    "Because I keep making new species and the universe isn¡¯t ready for that?"


    "NO. I mean, YES, but NO."


    He leaned in close, his big, shiny alien eyes narrowing.


    "It¡¯s because your species is NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DOING THIS."


    I blinked.


    "Excuse me?"


    "Do you KNOW how long it takes for most civilizations to get to your level of bioengineering?!"


    "Uh¡­"


    "MILLENNIA, REYNOLDS. THOUSANDS OF YEARS."


    "Okay, but hear me out¡ª"


    "AND YOU?!" He slammed his hands down on the table. "YOUR PLANET JUST STARTED DOING THIS ON A WHIM! I WAS SENT TO MONITOR EARTH FOR EARLY INTERSTELLAR DEVELOPMENT, NOT INTERSPECIES CONQUEST!"


    Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.


    I winced.


    "Yeah, uh. Sorry?"


    He just stared at me.


    Phase Four: The Awful Realization We Both Had


    After a very long and very awkward silence, Zil-Vatek sighed and rubbed his temples.


    "Look." he muttered. "The reason I¡¯m upset isn¡¯t just because of what you¡¯ve done."


    "Uh-huh."


    "It¡¯s because you don¡¯t realize what¡¯s coming next."


    That got my attention.


    "Define ''coming next.''"


    "Reynolds." He looked very, very tired. "Do you know what happens to civilizations that start rapid, unchecked species uplift?"


    "¡­They get invited to intergalactic science fairs?"


    "No. They get noticed."


    I felt something cold settle in my stomach.


    "By who?"


    He grimaced.


    "By things that do not think of you as equals."


    Oh.


    Oh no.


    Phase Five: The Moment I Knew We Were Screwed


    "Alright," I said, very carefully. "So what you¡¯re saying is¡­ we¡¯re about to have some very bad company?"


    "Yes."


    "How bad are we talking?"


    "Have you ever considered what a species that has been perfecting genetic manipulation for millions of years could do to you?"


    "Uh."


    "Because they are going to see what you¡¯ve done, and they will not like it."


    I blinked.


    "So, let me get this straight."


    I held up a hand.


    "We made the Good Boys¡ªhighly intelligent, highly dangerous dog-soldiers."


    "Correct."


    "Then the Russians made the bears¡ªhulking, unstoppable warrior-monks."


    "Also correct."


    "And now, we have the raccoons¡ªgenius-level thieves with a Napoleon complex."


    "Correct again."


    "And all of that together has put us on the radar of something worse."


    "Yes."


    I exhaled slowly.


    "Well. Shit."


    Phase Six: The Worst Deal I Have Ever Made


    Zil-Vatek took another deep breath.


    "Listen. You humans are insane. But you¡¯re also stubborn. Which means you might actually survive this."


    "I¡¯m sensing a ¡®but.¡¯"


    "But¡­ you need help. And I am technically supposed to be observing, not intervening."


    "Technically?"


    "So here¡¯s the deal." He leaned forward, glaring. "You help me understand how your species is doing this. And in return¡­ I make sure you don¡¯t die the second the wrong people find out."


    I stared at him.


    "So, basically¡­ I give you all our secrets, and you keep me from being vaporized?"


    "Yes."


    I thought about it.


    I thought about Bandit, building a kingdom.


    I thought about Goldie, the first mother of a new species.


    I thought about Marlow, Dante, and Harper, out there doing god knows what.


    I thought about the bears, already preparing for a war no one else could see coming.


    Then I sighed, slumped back, and nodded.


    "Fine."


    Zil-Vatek grinned.


    "Excellent. Now hold still. I¡¯m still probing you."


    Final Thoughts (I Hate Everything)


    ? I have been abducted by an alien intern.


    ? He is mad at me for accelerating human evolution too fast.


    ? He is also mad that we are about to attract intergalactic predators.


    ? I may or may not be working for him now.


    ? I am definitely getting probed.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    Earth is not ready for what¡¯s coming.


    End Log.

 Chapter 50

    Intern¡¯s Log: In My Defense, We Have an Existential Horror That the Galactic Council Doesn¡¯t Think Exists¡ªSo We Should Probably Both Have a Beer


    Date: [Too Late for Regrets]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (If we¡¯re all going to die, we might as well have a drink first.)


    So.


    Here¡¯s the problem.


    ? We have an existential horror creeping toward Earth.


    ? The Galactic Council refuses to acknowledge it.


    ? Apparently, the wrong kind of species uplift is a crisis, but reality-breaking nightmare creatures are fine.


    ? Meanwhile, Bandit is creating an empire, the bears are securing their future, and I am actively helping them.


    ? And now, I have been abducted by an alien intern who wants me to stop making things worse.


    But you know what?


    I am tired.


    I am so, so tired.


    So I looked my alien captor in his giant, judgmental eyes and said:


    "In my defense, we have an existential horror that the Galactic Council doesn¡¯t think exists."


    Zil-Vatek just stared at me.


    "And?" he asked, exasperated.


    I crossed my arms.


    "And we should probably both have a beer."


    Phase One: The Alien¡¯s Expression of Utter Disbelief


    There was a very long pause.


    Zil-Vatek looked at me like I had just suggested we fight a black hole with a slingshot.


    "You want me," he said slowly, "to consume Earth¡¯s primitive ethanol-based intoxicant."


    "No, no, no," I corrected, holding up a hand. "I want you to experience the only coping mechanism humanity has consistently relied on throughout history."


    He stared harder.


    "For survival."


    More staring.


    "For science."


    I watched his eye twitch.


    I could tell he was processing, struggling to make sense of the absolute human nonsense that had just been thrown at him.


    And then?


    Then he exhaled, sat down, and muttered:


    "I hate this planet."


    Phase Two: The Time I Had to Justify My Beer Logic to an Alien


    "Alright, Reynolds," Zil-Vatek said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Explain. Why do I¡ªan advanced observer from a superior civilization¡ªneed an Earth beverage for survival?"


    Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    "Because, my dear Zil-Vatek, the things that are coming? They don¡¯t play by your rules."


    He narrowed his eyes.


    "What do you mean?"


    "I mean," I said leaning forward, "that your precious Galactic Council refuses to acknowledge a threat that is already tearing through the edges of known space. They don¡¯t think it exists. And if you try to fight it using your rules, you will lose."


    "And you think beer is the answer?"


    "I think," I said matter-of-factly, "that if you want to survive on Earth, you need to start thinking like Earth."


    "Which means?"


    "It means you need a beer."


    Phase Three: The Alien Starts Considering It


    There was another long pause.


    Zil-Vatek stared at the floor.


    Then at me.


    Then back at the floor.


    And I knew¡ªI KNEW¡ªthe moment the thought entered his head.


    Because he tilted his head slightly.


    Like he was actually considering it.


    Like some tiny part of his superior, logical brain was whispering:


    "You know, maybe numbing the existential horror creeping toward the galaxy isn¡¯t the worst idea."


    I grinned.


    "See? You¡¯re already thinking like a human."


    He sighed heavily.


    Phase Four: The Moment I Won


    "Fine," he muttered.


    "Fine?"


    "Fine. If I have to endure this, then I might as well try your beer."


    "That¡¯s the spirit!"


    "But I am not getting drunk."


    "Oh, no, buddy. You have to get drunk. That¡¯s half the fun."


    "Reynolds, I swear to the stars¡ª"


    "Ooooh, what about whiskey?"


    He stood up immediately.


    "I am leaving."


    "Come on! You know you love it!"


    He stormed out.


    But I could hear him muttering under his breath.


    Victory.


    Final Thoughts (The Universe is Not Ready for This Alliance)


    ? Earth is screwed.


    ? The existential enemy is coming.


    ? The Galactic Council is ignoring the problem.


    ? Zil-Vatek is reluctantly considering human alcohol consumption.


    ? This is the greatest moment of my life.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    When the war comes, I¡¯ll be standing side by side with an alien and his first-ever hangover.


    And honestly?


    That¡¯s kind of awesome.


    End Log.

 Chapter 51

    Intern¡¯s Log: I Return Home, and Bandit Asks Why I¡¯m Walking Funny


    Date: [Somewhere Between "I Need a Nap" and "I Need a Therapist"]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I have seen too much.)


    So.


    I got abducted by an alien.


    I got probed by an alien.


    I convinced the alien to drink Earth alcohol as a coping mechanism.


    And now?


    Now I¡¯m back.


    Back in the bear-raccoon warlord kingdom that I inexplicably helped create.


    Back in Bandit¡¯s stolen military fortress, which is looking suspiciously more organized than when I left.


    And back under the scrutiny of a very smug trash panda.


    Who immediately noticed something was wrong.


    Phase One: The Moment I Knew I Was in Trouble


    I had barely stepped through the door before Bandit appeared out of nowhere, as he always does.


    He took one look at me.


    Paused.


    Grinned.


    "Reynolds, my dear, long-suffering friend."


    I exhaled sharply.


    "Bandit, not now."


    "Why are you walking funny?"


    Goddammit.


    Phase Two: How Do I Explain Alien Probing to a Raccoon Warlord?


    I tried to brush past him.


    Bandit, being Bandit, did not let me.


    "Did something happen to you while you were away?" he asked, gleefully following me.


    "I don¡¯t want to talk about it."


    "Ohhh, but I do."


    I kept walking.


    He kept following.


    "Come now, Reynolds. You disappear, come back limping, and you expect me not to be curious?"


    I stopped walking.


    Turned.


    Looked him dead in his smug little face.


    And said, very carefully:


    "I was abducted by aliens."


    He blinked.


    Then grinned wider.


    "And?"


    I clenched my jaw.


    "And¡­ they probed me."


    Bandit dropped his stolen military cap and collapsed onto the floor laughing.


    Phase Three: The Worst Conversation of My Life


    I let him wheeze on the floor for a full minute.


    Then I stepped over him and kept walking.


    "Ohhhh, no no no, we are not skipping past this!" he gasped, scrambling to follow me.


    "We absolutely are."


    "Was it the usual probe? Or was it a special probe?"


    The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    "Bandit, I swear to God¡ª"


    "Did you enjoy it?"


    I stopped walking again.


    Slowly turned to face him.


    "Do you want me to start modifying raccoons for medical testing?" I asked flatly.


    His grin dropped immediately.


    "Alright, alright, sore subject, moving on."


    Thank. God.


    Phase Four: The Part Where Bandit is Too Smart


    I made it exactly three steps before he started again.


    "So¡­" he mused, stroking his chin like a cartoon villain.


    "What exactly did they want from you?"


    I sighed.


    "They wanted to know why humanity is so good at accelerating evolution."


    He perked up immediately.


    "Oh. That¡¯s simple."


    "Oh, is it?"


    "Yes. Humans have no self-preservation instincts and an insatiable desire to see what happens when you push the big red button."


    I blinked.


    Then pointed at him.


    "That. That right there is why you exist."


    "And you¡¯re welcome!"


    I hate him.


    Phase Five: The Existential Crisis Neither of Us Wanted


    "Alright," I muttered, rubbing my face. "The alien¡ªZil-Vatek¡ªhe said something else."


    Bandit tilted his head.


    "Something¡­ interesting?"


    "Yeah. He said that because of all this¡ªyou, the bears, the Good Boys, the uplifted species¡ªhumanity has basically pinged the universe as a rising power."


    Bandit frowned slightly.


    "Which means?"


    "Which means, Bandit¡­ we¡¯re about to get noticed by things that don¡¯t think of us as equals."


    There was a rare moment of silence.


    Then Bandit¡­


    Smirked.


    "Oh. Good."


    I blinked.


    "Good?! Bandit, this is bad!"


    "No, no, my dear long-suffering friend, this is fantastic! Because it means we are no longer ignored!"


    "Bandit¡ª"


    "It means we are a factor. A player on the board."


    I groaned.


    "It means we have to win."


    And there it was.


    The real reason Bandit was excited.


    Not because he was happy about the danger.


    But because now?


    Now, he gets to play against something bigger.


    Phase Six: The Beer I Desperately Needed


    After several minutes of arguing, I gave up.


    Went to the stolen liquor cabinet.


    Pulled out a bottle of vodka, because the Russians did get something right.


    Bandit grabbed his own drink.


    We sat in silence for a long moment.


    Then, finally, Bandit said:


    "Reynolds."


    "Yeah?"


    "I am glad you came back."


    I sighed.


    "Thanks, Bandit."


    "But also, the probing thing is hilarious, and I¡¯m never letting it go."


    I threw my empty glass at him.


    End Log.

 Chapter 52

    Intern¡¯s Log: My Mother Called Me, and I Am Not Prepared for This Conversation


    Date: [Why Is This My Life?]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I have survived alien abduction, genetic atrocities, and raccoon warlords, but I am not ready to deal with my mother.)


    So.


    I just got back from being abducted by an alien.


    I have barely processed the fact that:


    ? Humanity has pinged the universe as an "emerging power."


    ? We are being watched by things we probably can¡¯t fight.


    ? Bandit has decided this means "the game has begun."


    ? I am deeply, deeply tired.


    And right as I pour myself another drink?


    My phone rings.


    I glance at the screen.


    And my soul leaves my body.


    MOM.


    Phase One: The Immediate Existential Crisis


    I stare at the phone.


    Because this is the worst possible timing.


    How do I even explain my life at this point?


    "Oh, hi Mom! Nothing much, just got abducted by aliens, accidentally helped create two new sentient species, and now my best friend is a power-hungry raccoon who may or may not declare war on the galaxy. How¡¯s your bridge club?"


    Yeah.


    No.


    But if I don¡¯t pick up, she will call again.


    And again.


    And then she¡¯ll leave a voicemail that starts with ¡°I just think it¡¯s strange that you don¡¯t answer your own mother¡¯s calls.¡±


    I cannot survive that level of guilt.


    So I take a deep breath.


    And I answer.


    "Hi, Mom."


    Phase Two: The Interrogation Begins


    "Well, look who finally decided to pick up his phone!"


    Oh no.


    "I was starting to think you¡¯d been kidnapped!"


    I choke on my drink.


    "Uh. No, of course not."


    "Mmm-hmm."


    She does not believe me.


    Great.


    "So where have you been, sweetheart?"


    I need to lie.


    I need to say something normal.


    But my brain?


    My brain is gone.


    So I just blurt out:


    "Oh, you know. Work."


    She pauses.


    "Work?"


    "Yeah! Work!"


    "The same work that won¡¯t let you tell your own mother what you do?"


    Shit.


    Phase Three: The ¡°You Need to Settle Down¡± Lecture


    "Reynolds, sweetheart," she sighs. "You know I worry about you."


    "I know, Mom."


    Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.


    "You never visit."


    "I¡ªuh, yeah, been busy."


    "You never date."


    "Mom¡ª"


    "Do you even have a retirement plan?"


    I rub my face.


    "I do not think I¡¯m going to live long enough for a retirement plan."


    Bad move.


    Because now she is in Full Mom Mode.


    Phase Four: She Has Found Me a ¡°Nice Girl¡± Again


    "Well, I was actually calling because I have someone I think you should meet!"


    Oh.


    Oh no.


    "Mom¡ª"


    "She¡¯s very nice! She works in biotech! You¡¯d have so much in common!"


    I want to scream.


    "Mom, I do not have time to date right now."


    "You always say that."


    "Because it¡¯s always true!"


    "Oh, please. You¡¯re not too busy. You just choose not to make time for it."


    I am literally helping a raccoon plan for interstellar war.


    But sure, let¡¯s pretend I¡¯m just being difficult.


    Phase Five: The Worst Thing I Could Have Said


    "Besides," she continues, "you¡¯re not getting any younger."


    I groan.


    "Mom, I am literally trying to stop an existential crisis right now."


    Bad.


    Bad, bad, bad.


    Because she pauses.


    "Oh, really?"


    Oh, shit.


    "And what exactly does that mean?"


    I panicked.


    I said the worst possible thing.


    I blurted out:


    "Mom, I have made so many bears."


    Silence.


    Pure.


    Unfiltered.


    Silence.


    Phase Six: She Thinks I¡¯m Talking About Grandkids


    "¡­Reynolds."


    "Yeah?"


    "Are you telling me¡­ that I am a grandmother?"


    I almost drop the phone.


    "WHAT? NO! THAT¡¯S NOT¡ªMOM, LISTEN¡ª"


    "OH, REYNOLDS, SWEETHEART, WHY DIDN¡¯T YOU TELL ME?"


    "MOM, PLEASE, THEY¡¯RE ACTUAL BEARS."


    "Oh, honey, that¡¯s so wonderful! I don¡¯t care how unconventional it is, as long as they make you happy!"


    I am dying.


    I am physically dying.


    Phase Seven: Bandit Overhears and Makes Everything Worse


    At this exact moment, Bandit walks in.


    Sees me curled over, gripping my head in despair.


    Raises an eyebrow.


    "What¡¯s up?"


    I just shake my head furiously.


    But it¡¯s too late.


    Because Mom hears his voice.


    "Who¡¯s that?" she asks, suspiciously.


    "No one!"


    Bandit grins.


    "Is that your mother?"


    "BANDIT, I SWEAR TO GOD¡ª"


    He grabs the phone.


    "Hello, Mrs. Reynolds! I am delighted to finally speak with you!"


    I have lost all control of my life.


    Final Thoughts (I Am Not Surviving This Call)


    ? I was abducted by aliens.


    ? I am now part of an interstellar crisis.


    ? My mother thinks I have children.


    ? Bandit is speaking to her.


    ? There is no coming back from this.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    I am never answering my phone again.


    End Log.

 Chapter 53

    Intern¡¯s Log: Bandit Wants to Introduce My Mom to Her ¡®Granddaughters¡¯ ¨C Vicky and This ¡®Nice Girl¡¯ Will Be There Too


    Date: [I Need a Vacation]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I have officially lost control of my life.)


    I was already dealing with too much.


    ? I was abducted by an alien.


    ? I got probed by an alien.


    ? I convinced the alien to drink Earth beer.


    ? My mother now thinks she has grandkids.


    ? My mother is very excited about these ¡®grandkids.¡¯


    ? My mother is also trying to set me up with some ¡®nice girl.¡¯


    And just when I thought things couldn¡¯t get worse¡ª


    Bandit looked at me, took a sip of MY coffee, and said:


    "Well. I suppose we should go visit your mother then."


    I blinked.


    "What."


    "Your mother wants to meet her granddaughters. It would be rude not to introduce them properly."


    "BANDIT, THEY¡¯RE NOT¡ª"


    He grinned.


    "Road trip!" he said excitedly as he ran out of the lab.


    I hate my life.


    Phase One: The Worst Possible Road Trip Crew


    I should have fought harder.


    I should have locked myself in my quarters.


    I should have stolen a military jet and left the country.


    But no.


    Now I am on my way to my mother¡¯s house with the worst possible group of people.


    ? Bandit, who is treating this like a diplomatic event.


    ? Goldie, the first uplifted female bear, who looks mildly amused by my suffering.


    ? Vicky, Bandit¡¯s three-tailed British-accented raccoon queen, who is far too eager to meet my mother.


    ? And this mysterious ¡®nice girl¡¯ my mother has been trying to set me up with.


    This is not a visit.


    This is an ambush.


    And I?


    I am the prey.


    Phase Two: The Ride to My Doom


    I drove from the airport.


    Because there was no way in hell I was letting Bandit drive.


    Goldie sat in the back, watching the scenery like this was a National Geographic special.


    Vicky sat primly in the passenger seat, adjusting her jacket like she was about to meet foreign royalty.


    A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.


    And Bandit?


    Bandit had my mother on speakerphone.


    Because of course he did.


    "Oh, I can¡¯t wait to meet you all!" Mom was saying, clearly thrilled.


    "And I¡¯m so excited to meet this nice girl too! You¡¯ll love her, Reynolds!"


    Vicky smirked.


    "Oh, I¡¯m sure we¡¯ll all get along brilliantly." she said, British as hell.


    I gripped the steering wheel tighter.


    Goldie leaned forward.


    "Reynolds, why are you sweating?"


    "I AM FINE."


    Phase Three: The Arrival ¨C My Mom Meets Her ¡®Grandkids¡¯


    We pulled into my mother¡¯s driveway.


    She was already outside, waiting.


    Waving.


    Smiling.


    I did not want to get out of the car.


    But I did.


    Because if I didn¡¯t, Bandit would drag me out.


    Mom immediately zeroed in on Goldie.


    "Oh, my goodness! Look at you! You are so big!"


    Goldie tilted her head.


    "Yes. That is accurate."


    My mother beamed.


    Then she turned to Vicky.


    "And you must be Reynolds¡¯ other girl!"


    Vicky smirked.


    "Oh, we go way back, don¡¯t we, Reynolds?"


    I wanted to die.


    Phase Four: My Mom Loves Them, and I Am in Hell


    We were ushered inside.


    My mother fed everyone.


    Goldie ate like a dignified ambassador.


    Vicky ate like she had lived in high society her whole life.


    Bandit ate like a raccoon.


    And the whole time, my mother was absolutely delighted.


    "I am so happy you all convinced Reynolds to finally come visit!"


    Vicky smiled sweetly.


    "Oh, it wasn¡¯t hard."


    Goldie nodded.


    "We simply insisted."


    I drank my beer and said nothing.


    Because there was nothing to say.


    Phase Five: The Nice Girl Arrives ¨C The Final Blow


    And then.


    She arrived.


    The ¡®nice girl¡¯ my mother had been trying to set me up with.


    And the moment she walked in?


    Vicky immediately sized her up.


    Goldie tilted her head, curious.


    Bandit grinned like he was watching a chess game unfold.


    And I?


    I was already preparing for death.


    Final Thoughts (I Am Not Surviving This Evening)


    ? I have brought a warlord raccoon, an uplifted bear queen, and a three-tailed raccoon aristocrat into my mother¡¯s home.


    ? My mother loves them.


    ? Vicky is absolutely plotting something.


    ? The ¡®nice girl¡¯ has entered the battlefield.


    ? I do not know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    I am never living this down.


    End Log.

 Chapter 54

    Intern¡¯s Log: Can I Get a Vacation in a Non-Extradition Country?


    Date: [ASAP]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I am in too deep. I need to disappear.)


    I have endured the following in the past few months:


    ? Accidentally helped create an independent bear nation.


    ? Gave a power-hungry raccoon a genetically enhanced queen.


    ? Was abducted and probed by an alien who hates my life choices.


    ? Got roped into a ¡°family visit¡± where my mother met her ¡°grandkids.¡±


    ? Survived Vicky meeting the ¡°nice girl¡± my mother is trying to set me up with.


    And now?


    Now I just want to disappear.


    I need a break.


    I need a reset.


    I need to be in a country that does not recognize international law.


    So I casually mentioned this to Bandit.


    And now I regret everything.


    Phase One: Bandit Thinks This Is a Great Idea


    I was just venting.


    "I need a vacation."


    "Mm-hmm." Bandit barely looked up from whatever scheming he was doing.


    "No, like, a real vacation."


    "And?"


    "In a non-extradition country."


    He perked up immediately.


    "Oh! Well, why didn¡¯t you say so?"


    I should have kept my mouth shut.


    Phase Two: Bandit Has Options


    He rolled out a literal map and started listing safe zones.


    ? Argentina ¨C Too many eyes.


    ? Belarus ¨C Questionable.


    ? Uzbekistan ¨C Probably fine, but do you really want to disappear there?


    ? Mongolia ¨C Actually, wait, didn''t he invade that place for barbecue?


    Then he grinned.


    Stolen story; please report.


    "How do you feel about Madagascar?"


    I blinked.


    "¡­Why Madagascar?"


    "Because," Bandit said knowingly, "it is perfect."


    I do not trust him.


    Phase Three: The ¡°Plan¡± (That I Am Definitely Not Going Along With)


    According to Bandit, Madagascar is:


    ? Strategically isolated.


    ? Not controlled by any major powers.


    ? Has excellent beaches.


    ? Has enough instability that ¡°one extra person¡± wouldn¡¯t raise questions.


    ? And, most importantly, it is a prime location for future expansion."


    I paused.


    "Expansion of what?"


    He smirked.


    "Don¡¯t worry about it."


    I worry about it.


    Phase Four: Vicky and Goldie Find Out


    At some point, Vicky and Goldie caught wind of my plan.


    Goldie, being practical, asked:


    "Why do you wish to leave?"


    I took a deep breath.


    "Because I need a break."


    Vicky raised an eyebrow.


    "Oh? And is this ¡®break¡¯ meant to be temporary, or are you running?"


    I did not answer.


    Which was an answer.


    Vicky smirked knowingly.


    "Oh, Reynolds. You know we¡¯ll find you."


    I hate her.


    Phase Five: The Problem With Trying to Escape


    ? The bears will track me.


    ? The raccoons will follow the money.


    ? The alien has already abducted me once and can do it again.


    ? *Bandit wants to come with me, which means I¡¯m never truly free.


    ? My mother would somehow still find a way to guilt-trip me into coming home.


    There is no escape.


    There is no safe place.


    I am trapped.


    And this is my life now.


    Final Thoughts (I Am Doomed)


    ? I tried to disappear.


    ? Bandit wants to come with me.


    ? Vicky and Goldie will track me.


    ? My alien captor will probably retrieve me anyway.


    ? I will never be free of my mother¡¯s matchmaking attempts.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    There is no leaving the chaos.


    I am in it for life.


    End Log.

 Chapter 55

    Intern¡¯s Log: Getting to Know the ¡®Nice Girl¡¯ on My Vacation (Because, Of Course, Bandit Brought Her Along)


    Date: [Somewhere Between Accepting My Fate and Contemplating the Ocean]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I am being set up, and I am too tired to fight it.)


    So.


    I tried to escape.


    I tried to take a vacation.


    Somewhere remote. Isolated.


    Somewhere without extradition.


    Somewhere where no one could find me.


    And yet¡­


    Here I am.


    On a beach.


    In Madagascar.


    With Bandit.


    With Vicky.


    With Goldie, who is observing humans like we¡¯re part of a nature documentary.


    And.


    With.


    Her.


    The nice girl.


    Because of course Bandit brought her.


    Because of course I am now on a forced vacation with a woman my mother picked out for me.


    And you know what?


    I am too exhausted to argue.


    Phase One: The Moment I Realized She Was Here


    It started normally.


    (Well, normally for my life, which means only mild existential dread.)


    I was finally relaxing.


    I had a beer.


    I was watching the sunset, trying to forget that I had:


    ? Created sentient bears.


    ? Given a raccoon dictator a queen.


    ? Gotten abducted and probed by an alien.


    ? Accidentally attracted the attention of cosmic horrors.


    And then¡ª


    Someone cleared their throat behind me.


    I turned.


    And there she was.


    The ¡®nice girl.¡¯


    Sitting very comfortably on the lounge chair next to mine.


    Smirking.


    "Took you long enough to notice."


    Phase Two: The Conversation I Wasn¡¯t Ready For


    I just stared.


    Then, slowly, I looked at Bandit.


    Who was watching from the bar.


    Grinning.


    Holding up his drink in silent victory.


    I sighed.


    Turned back to her.


    "So. He dragged you here too?"


    "Dragged?" she laughed. "Oh, no. I volunteered."


    That was when I knew I was in trouble.


    Phase Three: Who Is She?


    Okay.


    Let¡¯s get one thing straight.


    Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    She¡¯s not just some random girl my mother picked.


    She knows things.


    ? She works in biotech.


    ? She knew about classified research I shouldn¡¯t have been able to talk about.


    ? She wasn¡¯t freaked out when Goldie walked by, casually carrying a coconut in her bear-sized hands.


    ? She was completely unbothered by Bandit¡¯s existence.


    Which means¡­


    She¡¯s involved.


    Somehow.


    Phase Four: The Part Where I Have to Accept She¡¯s Interesting


    I tried not to get pulled in.


    Tried not to care.


    But she was smart.


    She was funny.


    She understood everything I was saying without me having to explain the insanity of my life.


    And the worst part?


    I actually liked talking to her.


    This is very bad.


    Because that means my mother was right.


    And I am not emotionally equipped to handle that.


    Phase Five: The Moment She Proved She Belonged Here


    At one point, we were walking along the beach.


    Bandit and Vicky were arguing about something stupid.


    Goldie was watching the waves like she was contemplating the meaning of life.


    And the ¡®nice girl¡¯?


    She turned to me and said:


    "So¡­ when do you think the first interspecies war will start?"


    I choked on my drink.


    "Excuse me?"


    She shrugged.


    "You¡¯ve helped create two new civilizations. Bandit clearly has plans for long-term survival. The bears are stabilizing. The Good Boys are still out there. And the aliens are watching. It¡¯s only a matter of time before someone fires the first shot."


    I stared.


    "And you¡¯re just¡­ okay with this?"


    She smirked.


    "I study evolution, Reynolds. And you? You¡¯re making history."


    Oh.


    Oh no.


    She¡¯s one of them.


    She wants to see what happens next.


    I am doomed.


    Phase Six: The Realization That I¡¯m Not Running Anymore


    We spent the rest of the night drinking.


    Talking.


    Laughing.


    And at some point¡ªI don¡¯t know when¡ª


    I realized¡­


    I¡¯m not running anymore.


    Because where the hell would I even go?


    I am too deep in this.


    And maybe¡­


    Just maybe¡­


    I don¡¯t want to run anymore.


    Final Thoughts (I Am Never Living This Down)


    ? Bandit set me up.


    ? Vicky definitely helped.


    ? The ¡®nice girl¡¯ is way smarter than I expected.


    ? My mother is going to be insufferable when she finds out.


    ? I might actually like her.


    I don¡¯t know where this is going.


    But I do know this¡ª


    I think I just stopped being the intern.


    End Log.

 Chapter 56

    Intern¡¯s Log: Her Name is Evelyn, and We¡¯re in Madagascar Because of Lemurs


    Date: [I Give Up]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (This was supposed to be my vacation. Now I¡¯m studying hyper-intelligent lemurs.)


    Alright.


    ? Her name is Evelyn.


    ? She is the nice girl my mother tried to set me up with.


    ? She is way too smart to be here by accident.


    ? And I am definitely developing feelings, which is very bad for my mental health.


    And the reason we¡¯re in Madagascar?


    Lemurs.


    Because apparently, we haven¡¯t created enough chaos.


    And Bandit thinks lemurs are next.


    Phase One: ¡°Why Lemurs?¡± ¨C A Question I Regret Asking


    So after spending several days getting to know Evelyn, I finally asked:


    "So¡­ why Madagascar?"


    She smirked.


    "You really don¡¯t know?"


    "No."


    "Reynolds," she said patiently, like I was slow, "the lemurs."


    I blinked.


    "What about the lemurs?"


    Bandit popped up behind me, grinning.


    "I¡¯m so glad you asked!"


    I immediately regretted everything.


    Phase Two: The Lemur Situation (Oh No, We¡¯re Doing This Again)


    Bandit, now fully in his element, launched into a full presentation on Why Lemurs Are the Next Logical Step in the Uplift Project.


    ? Highly social, already capable of problem-solving.


    ? Fast learners, excellent climbers, built for adaptability.


    ? Genetically distinct from other primates, meaning nobody will see them coming.


    ? Madagascar is already isolated, making it a perfect control environment.


    ? They have hands. (Bandit was very excited about this.)


    I stared at Evelyn.


    "You agree with this?"


    She shrugged.


    "I think it¡¯s fascinating."


    I am surrounded by mad scientists.


    Phase Three: The Moment I Knew It Was Already Happening


    I turned to Goldie.


    "Goldie, please tell me you¡¯re not involved in this."


    This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.


    She tilted her head.


    "Involved? No."


    "Thank god."


    "Observing? Yes."


    I groaned.


    "For what reason?"


    She gestured toward the trees.


    I followed her gaze.


    And that¡¯s when I saw it.


    High above us.


    Perched on a branch.


    A lemur.


    Wearing a small, custom-made tactical vest.


    Holding a tiny tool.


    And watching us.


    Oh.


    Oh no.


    Phase Four: The Uplift Project Has Already Started


    I turned to Bandit.


    "Tell me you didn¡¯t."


    Bandit held up his hands.


    "I may have done some early testing."


    "BANDIT."


    "Look, look, I learned from the bears! I started small this time!"


    "You put a lemur in a tactical vest!"


    "And he loves it!"


    At that moment, the lemur expertly dismantled a piece of fruit with a tool he absolutely should not know how to use.


    I felt my soul leave my body.


    Phase Five: Evelyn Is Way Too Into This


    I looked at Evelyn.


    She was watching with scientific fascination.


    "You¡¯re¡­ not concerned about this?" I asked.


    She grinned.


    "Oh, I think this is brilliant."


    I dragged a hand down my face.


    "Of course you do."


    "Reynolds," she said seriously, "if lemurs can develop tool use and problem-solving at an accelerated rate, they could become a self-sufficient arboreal species in just a few generations."


    I stared.


    "Do you hear yourself right now?"


    "Yes."


    "And you¡¯re fine with this?"


    "Absolutely."


    I am in love with a madwoman.


    Phase Six: I Give Up, Let¡¯s Uplift the Lemurs


    Fine.


    Fine.


    FINE.


    Let¡¯s just do it.


    ? The bears are already their own civilization.


    ? The raccoons have a monarchy.


    ? The Good Boys are still out there.


    ? Now we¡¯re adding lemurs to the equation.


    At this point?


    Why not?


    Bandit clapped me on the back.


    "That¡¯s the spirit, Reynolds!"


    Goldie nodded approvingly.


    Evelyn leaned in, smirking.


    "I knew you¡¯d come around."


    I hate them all.


    Final Thoughts (I Am Now a Lemur Overlord, Apparently)


    ? Bandit has been uplifting lemurs behind my back.


    ? They are already showing intelligence.


    ? Evelyn thinks this is a fantastic development.


    ? I have lost control of my life.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    The lemurs are watching.


    And that terrifies me.


    End Log.

 Chapter 57

    Intern¡¯s Log: The Good Boys Have Resurfaced, and I Am Not Ready for This Conversation


    Date: [I Need More Beer]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I knew this day would come, and yet I am still unprepared.)


    So.


    Life was already spiraling out of control.


    ? I was abducted and probed by an alien intern.


    ? I accidentally helped create two new civilizations.


    ? Bandit has decided lemurs are next.


    ? Evelyn is way too into this, which is a problem for my sanity.


    And now?


    The Good Boys have resurfaced.


    I should have expected this.


    I should have been prepared.


    But when my comms lit up with an encrypted transmission, my first thought was "Oh no."


    Because if they¡¯re calling me¡­


    That means something is happening.


    And it is definitely not good.


    Phase One: The Call I Was Not Ready For


    I stared at the transmission for a solid minute.


    Bandit, being the nosy little bastard he is, peeked over my shoulder.


    "Ooooh, it¡¯s them, isn¡¯t it?"


    "Shut up, Bandit."


    "Oh, no no no, please, do answer. I would love to see how this plays out."


    I sighed, took a deep breath, and accepted the call.


    The screen flickered.


    And then¡­


    Chips appeared.


    Still as serious as ever.


    Still with those cold, calculating eyes.


    And the first thing he said?


    "Reynolds. We need to talk."


    I immediately took a drink.


    Phase Two: The Good Boys Are Up To Something


    "I¡­ was not expecting to hear from you," I said carefully.


    Chips didn¡¯t react.


    "That is intentional."


    "Fantastic."


    He tilted his head slightly.


    "We have been observing your¡­ recent activities."


    This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.


    Oh. Oh no.


    "Look," I said quickly, "if this is about the bears, I had no choice."


    "The bears are a predictable outcome."


    "Okay, great, then¡ª"


    "The lemurs, however."


    I choked on my drink.


    Phase Three: The Good Boys Are Keeping Tabs on Me


    "HOW do you know about the lemurs?!"


    Chips blinked.


    "You are not difficult to track, Reynolds."


    I rubbed my face.


    "Are you telling me you have eyes on everything I do?"


    "We have always known where you were."


    I turned to Bandit.


    "They¡¯ve been watching."


    Bandit grinned.


    "Oh, I love this."


    I turned back to the screen.


    "Alright. Fine. You called me. What do you want?"


    Chips was silent for a moment.


    Then he said:


    "It is time we meet again."


    I sighed heavily.


    "I knew you were gonna say that."


    Phase Four: The Good Boys Have a Proposal


    "Where?" I asked.


    "Neutral ground. You choose the location."


    "You trust me with that?"


    "No."


    Of course not.


    I thought for a moment.


    Then I made the worst decision of my life.


    "Madagascar."


    Chips paused.


    "Why?"


    I glanced at Bandit.


    Then at Goldie.


    Then at the lemur wearing a tactical vest in the background.


    "Because you need to see what¡¯s coming."


    Phase Five: The War is Closer Than I Thought


    Chips stared at me for a long moment.


    "Very well."


    "Just like that?"


    "We have already mobilized. We will arrive within the week."


    I blinked.


    "Wait¡ªWHAT?!"


    "See you soon, Reynolds."


    And then the transmission cut out.


    I just sat there. Processing.


    Bandit, grinning ear to ear, patted me on the back.


    "Ohhh, this is going to be fun."


    I need another drink.


    Final Thoughts (This is Not a Vacation Anymore)


    ? The Good Boys have been watching me.


    ? They know about the lemurs.


    ? They are on their way to Madagascar.


    ? I do not know what they want.


    ? But I know it¡¯s big.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    The war is closer than I thought.


    End Log.

 Chapter 58

    Chips¡¯ Log: There is Something Moving in the Darkness¡ªReynolds is the Only Man I Trust


    Date: [Unknown]


    Unit ID: Chips, Tactical Commander ¨C Good Boys


    There is something out there.


    Something moving in the dark.


    I have seen wars.


    I have seen monsters.


    I have seen what humanity is capable of.


    But this?


    This is not war.


    This is not human.


    This is something else.


    And it is too close.


    Phase One: The Signs We Cannot Ignore


    For weeks, there have been disturbances.


    ? Settlements abandoned overnight, no signs of struggle.


    ? Wildlife behaving erratically¡ªfleeing areas without reason.


    ? Tremors that are not seismic.


    ? Whispers on old radio bands¡ªdistorted, garbled, but speaking words that should not exist.


    I do not believe in ghosts.


    But I do believe in threats.


    And this?


    This is a threat.


    Phase Two: The Good Boys Feel It Too


    I have never doubted my team.


    They do not fear.


    This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.


    They do not hesitate.


    But now?


    Now they are uneasy.


    ? Cairo, who moves unseen, now moves too fast, too alert¡ªas if something unseen moves with him.


    ? Nemo, who never doubts his own strength, now watches the trees as if something bigger watches back.


    ? Stubby, who laughs in the face of fire, has stopped laughing entirely.


    ? **Lucca, who only speaks of injuries and medicine, has told me¡ªwe are not sick, but something is wrong with us. **


    And I?


    I do not like what I do not understand.


    Phase Three: The Only Man I Trust


    There is only one man who may know what this is.


    ? He was there at the beginning.


    ? He has seen what science should not allow.


    ? He has stood next to monsters and called them friends.


    ? And if anyone has heard the whispers before we did¡­ it is Reynolds.


    So we are going to him.


    Because I do not trust scientists.


    I do not trust generals.


    But Reynolds?


    Reynolds has survived.


    Reynolds has seen.


    And if he tells me this is not war¡­


    Then we may already be too late.


    Phase Four: We Are Moving


    ? Destination: Madagascar.


    ? Objective: Find Reynolds.


    ? Purpose: Understand what hunts in the darkness.


    I do not know if he has already seen what I fear.


    But I do know this¡ª


    If something is coming for us¡­


    We will be the ones to meet it first.


    End Log.

 Chapter 59

    Intern¡¯s Log: Evelyn and I Are Getting Closer, and a Drunk Alien Just Showed Up Offering Anal Probes


    Date: [Why Me?]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I was having a moment. A nice moment. And then the universe ruined it.)


    So.


    Somehow, against all odds, things were actually going¡­ well?


    ? Evelyn and I were getting closer.


    ? She is disturbingly into everything happening around us, but I kind of like that.


    ? For the first time in forever, I wasn¡¯t running from some horrifying crisis.


    And then?


    Then a drunk alien showed up offering anal probes.


    Because of course that¡¯s what happens in my life.


    Phase One: A Moment of Peace (That Lasted Exactly Two Minutes)


    Evelyn and I were sitting by the water.


    It was¡­


    Nice.


    ? No Bandit.


    ? No scheming.


    ? No sudden scientific disasters.


    ? Just us, drinks in hand, actually talking like normal people.


    I was finally letting myself relax.


    And then a bright, flickering blue light appeared behind us.


    I groaned.


    "No. Not now."


    Evelyn just smirked.


    "Should I be concerned?"


    "Yes. Absolutely yes."


    And then, before I could do anything, a portal opened.


    And Zil-Vatek stumbled through.


    Drunk.


    Very, very drunk.


    Holding a glowing probe.


    "REEEEYYYYYNOLLLLDS!" he slurred.


    "I COME BEARING GIIIIIFTS!"


    I hate my life.


    Phase Two: The Part Where Evelyn Meets My Drunk Alien Abductor


    Evelyn raised an eyebrow.


    "Is this the alien that probed you?"


    I buried my face in my hands.


    "Yes."


    "Huh. He¡¯s shorter than I expected."


    Zil-Vatek wobbled dramatically.


    "EXCUSE YOU, HUMAN FEMALE, I AM PERFECTLY SIZED FOR MAXIMUM EFFICIENCY."


    Evelyn sipped her drink.


    "Uh-huh."


    "I SHALL PROVE IT WITH SCIENCE!"


    And then he waved the probe around wildly.


    I ducked immediately.


    "NOPE. NOPE. WE ARE NOT DOING THIS."


    Phase Three: The Alien Has Had Too Much to Drink


    "How¡­ how are you drunk?" I demanded.


    Zil-Vatek giggled.


    ALIENS DO NOT GIGGLE.


    "I CONSUMED BEER AS PER YOUR HUMAN CUSTOMS!"


    The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    "Oh god."


    "AND THEN WHISKEY!"


    "Oh god."


    "AND THEN A DRINK CALLED RUM! I HAVE ASCENDED, REYNOLDS!"


    I turned to Evelyn.


    "Do you see what my life is like?"


    She just grinned.


    "I like him."


    OF COURSE SHE DOES.


    Phase Four: The Alien Has¡­ Concerns?


    Zil-Vatek wobbled onto a nearby chair.


    "So. So. Listen. Listen, Reynollllllds."


    "I¡¯m listening."


    "I gotta. Gotta tell ya."


    "Oh god."


    "THERE¡¯S SOMETHING OUT THERE, MAN."


    I paused.


    Because his voice suddenly got serious.


    "What?"


    "Ssssome¡­ thing. Some¡­ THINGS. And the Galactic Council. Pffft. PFFFFFFT. They don¡¯t care! BUT I CARE, REYNOLDS. I CARE!"


    I felt a chill creep down my spine.


    Because even drunk, Zil-Vatek had never been wrong before.


    Phase Five: The Part Where I Realize He¡¯s Not Joking


    "Alright," I muttered. "What kind of things?"


    Zil-Vatek leaned in close.


    "The kind that¡­ that waits. That listens."


    I didn¡¯t like that.


    I didn¡¯t like any of that.


    Evelyn, still sipping her drink, finally spoke.


    "Waits for what?"


    Zil-Vatek turned to her, suddenly very, very serious.


    "For you to grow."


    The hair on my arms stood up.


    Phase Six: The Drunken Warning That I Will Definitely Not Forget


    "Look," Zil-Vatek mumbled, rubbing his temples.


    "I tried to warn them. Galactic Council doesn¡¯t care. They never care. They think uplifted species are a human problem."


    I felt my stomach drop.


    "And what do you think?" Evelyn asked.


    He stared at her.


    Then at me.


    Then at the sky.


    "I think¡­" he muttered.


    "I think they¡¯re waiting to see if you¡¯re worth fighting for¡­ or consuming."


    I said nothing.


    Because what the hell do you say to that?


    Phase Seven: The Alien Passes Out, and I Need Another Drink


    Zil-Vatek swayed.


    Took a deep breath.


    And then collapsed into the sand.


    "Oh, good," Evelyn muttered. "He¡¯s asleep."


    I just stared at his unconscious body.


    Then at my drink.


    Then at Evelyn.


    "I need something stronger."


    She laughed.


    "I don¡¯t think that¡¯s going to help you."


    She was probably right.


    Final Thoughts (Everything is Worse Now)


    ? Zil-Vatek got drunk and showed up with a probe.


    ? Evelyn met him and was not phased. This is concerning.


    ? He warned us that something is watching.


    ? Something that waits for species to grow.


    ? And the Galactic Council is ignoring it.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    We are running out of time.


    End Log.

 Chapter 60

    Classified Intelligence Report: The Nature of the Enemy


    Source: [Redacted]


    Compiled By: Reynolds, J. (Against My Will)


    Status: Urgent ¨C Existential Threat


    Summary:


    We have spent too long ignoring the shadows.


    The Galactic Council does not acknowledge it.


    The world does not realize it is here.


    But Zil-Vatek knows.


    And now?


    I know too.


    There is something in the dark.


    Something waiting.


    Something watching.


    And when the time is right¡­


    It will come.


    Phase One: What We Know


    ? It does not announce itself.


    ? It does not send warnings.


    ? It does not wage war in a way we understand.


    ? It does not seek resources or conquest.


    It waits.


    It listens.


    It finds civilizations that are beginning to rise.


    And then¡­


    It decides.


    Does it consume?


    Does it erase?


    Does it absorb?


    Or does it ignore?


    Phase Two: What We Have Seen


    We have found the signs.


    ? Settlements abandoned overnight.


    ? Technology failing with no logical cause.


    ? Whispers on old radio bands¡ªdistorted, but deliberate.


    ? Creatures appearing where they should not exist¡ªtwisted, malformed echoes of things we once knew.


    And then?


    Nothing.


    No bodies.


    No debris.


    No war.


    Just¡­ absence.


    Like nothing was ever there.


    Phase Three: What Zil-Vatek Told Me


    "They don¡¯t conquer, Reynolds."


    "They don¡¯t invade."


    "They decide if a species is worthy of continuing."


    "And if they are not?"


    Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.


    "Then they are removed."


    Not killed.


    Not enslaved.


    Not converted.


    Just¡­ erased.


    Like they were never there.


    Phase Four: The First Confirmed Encounter


    ? It happened in a remote region.


    ? A village¡ªgone. No signs of life. No signs of struggle.


    ? People didn¡¯t just vanish¡ªthe memories of them did too.


    ? Records were erased. Family members forgot they existed.


    ? Only those who were already on the edge of human awareness¡ªoutcasts, the insane, the forgotten¡ªremembered.


    And when they tried to tell us?


    They spoke of figures in the dark.


    Of shapes that moved wrong.


    Of something looking back at them from the empty places.


    Of the feeling that they had been weighed¡­ and found lacking.


    Phase Five: Why They Are Watching Us Now


    Humanity is breaking the pattern.


    ? We are accelerating too fast.


    ? We are not following the slow, predictable arc of evolution.


    ? We are creating new species, rewriting biology, disrupting natural order.


    ? And now?


    Now they have noticed us.


    Now they are watching.


    And soon?


    They will decide.


    Phase Six: The Choices We Have


    We are at the tipping point.


    We can either:


    Try to stop. Pretend we never broke the rules. Hope they lose interest. (Unlikely.)


    Prepare to fight. Stand our ground, build an army, prove we are too costly to erase. (Possible.)


    Give them something else to consume. (Extremely dangerous, but effective.)


    The bears are preparing.


    The raccoons are already planning.


    The Good Boys have felt it coming.


    And me?


    I am writing this, wondering if we have already been judged.


    Final Conclusion (We Are Not Ready for This)


    ? The enemy is watching.


    ? It does not seek war. It seeks judgment.


    ? Humanity has been noticed.


    ? We do not know how long we have left.


    I don¡¯t know how this ends.


    But I do know this¡ª


    If we do nothing, we will simply cease to be.


    And I refuse to let that happen.


    End Report.

 Chapter 61

    Classified Government Assessment: Subject ¨C Reynolds, J.


    Department: [REDACTED]


    Status: Active ¨C High-Risk, High-Value


    Threat Level: Variable


    Summary


    Subject Reynolds, J. has become a critical figure in multiple classified incidents, including but not limited to:


    ? Involvement in the uplift and stabilization of multiple non-human intelligent species.


    ? Direct contact with extraterrestrial intelligence.


    ? First recorded human subject to be abducted and returned by an alien observer.


    ? Key player in the emerging power struggle between uplifted species and humanity.


    ? Likely to be a primary target for unknown external entities.


    Reynolds is not a traditional operative.


    He is not a scientist by training, yet he has pioneered species modification.


    He is not a soldier, yet military-grade threats defer to him.


    He is not a diplomat, yet he is the only known human trusted by multiple non-human factions.


    This makes him both irreplaceable and dangerous.


    Psychological Profile


    ? Highly adaptive under pressure.


    ? Exhibits a fatalistic sense of humor as a coping mechanism.


    ? Displays an alarming ability to gain trust from non-human intelligences.


    ? Likely experiencing chronic stress-related fatigue but continues to function.


    ? Possesses a self-preservation instinct that conflicts with his circumstances.


    Primary Concern: Despite his protests, Reynolds continues to be at the center of every major intelligence incident related to uplifted species. Whether by coincidence, skill, or something external, he remains a necessary variable.


    Known Affiliations


    ? Project Canid ¨C Formerly involved, now an independent actor.


    ? The Good Boys ¨C Maintains a direct line of communication; considered their only human "trusted contact."


    This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.


    ? The Bear Collective ¨C Indirectly responsible for their survival and expansion.


    ? Bandit¡¯s Raccoon Dominion ¨C Recognized as a "human advisor," though his actual influence is unclear.


    ? Extraterrestrial Observer Zil-Vatek ¨C Subject has been abducted and returned by an alien entity who now considers him an "informant."


    ? Unclassified Uplifted Lemurs ¨C Newest intelligence development; status unknown.


    ? Civilian Contact Evelyn ¨C Unverified involvement; appears to be aware of Reynolds'' activities. Potential asset or liability.


    Risk Assessment


    ? Threat to National Security: Moderate to High


    (Not actively hostile but in possession of extreme classified intelligence.)


    ? Threat to Global Stability: High


    (His actions have directly accelerated multiple intelligence crises.)


    ? Threat to Extraterrestrial Relations: Unclear


    (First human to establish consistent alien contact outside of official channels.)


    ? Liability or Asset? Both.


    Reynolds is not an enemy of the state.


    However, his continued survival is not guaranteed.


    If eliminated, the power vacuum left behind could destabilize multiple factions, including non-human entities.


    If protected, he remains a wildcard capable of influencing events beyond our control.


    Recommended Actions


    1. Observe and Contain ¨C Reynolds must remain under discreet surveillance at all times.


    2. Do Not Remove ¨C Eliminating or detaining him could result in unpredictable consequences.


    3. Indirect Influence Only ¨C Attempts to control Reynolds have historically failed.


    4. Contingency Planning ¨C If Reynolds is lost, we must ensure that another human assumes his position before an uplifted or extraterrestrial entity does.


    Final Conclusion


    ? Reynolds is not the cause of this crisis.


    ? He is, however, the only person holding multiple unstable factions together.


    ? **His survival may be the last factor preventing full-scale conflict.


    ? If an existential threat is coming, he will see it first.


    Status: Observe, Do Not Interfere.


    If we lose Reynolds, we may lose humanity¡¯s only remaining advantage.


    End Report.

 Chapter 62

    Intern¡¯s Log: Harper and Dante Have Returned¡ªAnd They Brought Babies


    Date: [This Was Not on My Bingo Card]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I am not emotionally equipped for this.)


    So.


    Harper and Dante are back.


    ? Two of the three missing Good Boys.


    ? Vanished into the wilderness.


    ? Presumed rogue¡ªor worse.


    ? And now?


    Now they¡¯re here.


    And they brought babies.


    Not just one.


    Not just two.


    They brought an entire litter.


    And I am not prepared for this conversation.


    Phase One: The Reunion I Wasn¡¯t Ready For


    The first warning I had that something was happening was Goldie¡¯s reaction.


    She paused mid-conversation.


    Tilted her head.


    Sniffed the air.


    Then muttered, "They are here."


    And before I could even ask who, the entire damn facility went quiet.


    ? The lemurs stopped chattering.


    ? The bears looked toward the trees.


    ? Even Bandit put down his drink.


    Because something was coming.


    And then?


    They stepped into view.


    Phase Two: Harper and Dante Have Changed


    ? Harper¡ªsharp, calculating, always a survivor¡ªmoved with a quiet confidence I had never seen before.


    ? Dante¡ªmassive, powerful, unstoppable¡ªstood beside her, calm but watchful.


    ? Both of them looked¡­ different.


    Not just older.


    Not just hardened by time.


    They looked like they had built something.


    Something they were here to protect.


    And that¡¯s when I saw them.


    The smaller figures.


    Moving between them.


    At first, I thought, No way. That¡¯s impossible.


    And then Harper smirked.


    "Oh, come on, Reynolds."


    "You didn¡¯t really think we¡¯d be alone forever, did you?"


    And that¡¯s when I realized¡ª


    The Good Boys are no longer the last of their kind.


    Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    Phase Three: The Babies


    They were small.


    Still pups.


    But smart.


    ? Already moving with intent, scanning their surroundings.


    ? Ears twitching at every sound.


    ? Watching us, calculating.


    And the moment they saw me?


    One of them tilted its head.


    Then grinned.


    And **gave me finger guns. **


    I staggered back like I had been physically struck.


    "Oh. Oh no."


    Harper laughed.


    "Looks like they already like you."


    I am in so much trouble.


    Phase Four: What This Means


    ? Harper and Dante have not just been hiding.


    ? They have been building.


    ? They have a new generation of Good Boys.


    ? They are not asking for permission.


    ? They are staking their claim on the future.


    And me?


    I am staring at the next phase of uplifted evolution.


    The first natural-born generation.


    The first proof that this is permanent.


    The first sign that humanity is no longer alone.


    And there is no stopping it now.


    Phase Five: The Reactions


    ? Goldie observed them carefully.


    ? Vicky smirked, already considering the political implications.


    ? Bandit muttered "Oh, this is interesting," and I do not trust him.


    ? The lemurs were watching from the trees, curious and wary.


    And me?


    I just turned to Harper and Dante.


    "So¡­ you¡¯re just introducing them like this? No warning?"


    Harper grinned.


    "What, you expected a formal announcement?"


    Dante shrugged.


    "They belong here, Reynolds. Just like we do."


    And I realized¡ª


    They¡¯re not asking for acceptance.


    They¡¯re telling us the future is already here.


    Final Thoughts (I Need a Moment to Process This)


    ? The Good Boys are no longer just a lost project.


    ? They are a species.


    ? Harper and Dante didn¡¯t return alone¡ªthey returned with the next generation.


    ? Humanity is no longer the sole intelligence on this planet.


    ? We are no longer just watching history¡ªwe are living it.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    The future is no longer human.


    It is ours.


    All of ours.


    End Log.

 Chapter 63

    Intern¡¯s Log: What About My Future?


    Date: [I Am Not Ready for This]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I just realized I don¡¯t know where I fit in anymore.)


    Harper and Dante returned.


    ? They brought the next generation of Good Boys.


    ? They proved that uplifted species are here to stay.


    ? They looked at me like I was supposed to understand what that meant.


    But the only thing I could think was¡ª


    "What about my future?"


    And before I could stop myself, I said it out loud.


    Evelyn was next to me.


    She heard it.


    She turned to me.


    And for the first time in a long time, I wasn¡¯t talking about the war.


    I wasn¡¯t talking about humanity¡¯s future.


    I wasn¡¯t talking about the Good Boys, the bears, the lemurs, or the raccoons.


    I was talking about me.


    Phase One: The Question I Wasn¡¯t Ready to Ask


    "What about my future?" I said.


    Evelyn watched me carefully.


    "What about it?" she asked, voice softer than usual.


    I exhaled.


    "I don¡¯t know what I mean."


    But I did.


    I absolutely did.


    Because for the first time since this insanity started¡ª


    Since the bears, the Good Boys, the aliens, the existential horror¡ª


    I had to admit something.


    I had no idea where I fit into this world anymore.


    Phase Two: The Fear I Hadn¡¯t Said Out Loud


    "You know," I muttered, rubbing the back of my neck, "a few months ago, I thought I had a career. A plan."


    Evelyn tilted her head, listening.


    "I was supposed to be¡­ what? Some mid-level lab tech? Some government cog? A guy who maybe settled down, had a house, got yelled at by my mom for not giving her grandkids?"


    She smirked at that.


    "She¡¯d be thrilled about the whole ¡®grandkids¡¯ thing now."


    "Yeah. Too bad they all have claws and military training."


    She laughed. But she didn¡¯t say anything.


    So I kept going.


    Because now it was all coming out.


    "But now? Now I look around, and I see all this¡ª"


    Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.


    I gestured at everything.


    The bears. The raccoons. The lemurs. The Good Boys, standing at the edge of history, staring at a world that doesn¡¯t belong to humans anymore.


    "And I don¡¯t know where I fit. I don¡¯t know if I have a place in this future, or if I was just the guy holding the door open for it to happen."


    Evelyn was quiet for a long moment.


    Then she said, very carefully¡ª


    "Do you want a place in it?"


    And that?


    That stopped me cold.


    Phase Three: The Answer I Wasn¡¯t Ready to Give


    I looked at her.


    She looked back.


    And I realized¡ª


    She wasn¡¯t asking about humanity¡¯s place in the future.


    She wasn¡¯t asking about survival, or strategy, or war.


    She was asking about me.


    Did I want to be part of it?


    Did I want to belong in this world I helped create?


    Did I see myself moving forward¡ª


    Or had I already accepted that I was being left behind?


    I didn¡¯t have an answer.


    Not yet.


    So instead, I asked the question that scared me even more.


    "What about our future?"


    Evelyn¡¯s expression didn¡¯t change.


    She just watched me, steady and knowing.


    "Is that what you¡¯re really asking?"


    "I don¡¯t know."


    I did.


    But I didn¡¯t know how to say it.


    Phase Four: The Moment I Realized I Didn¡¯t Want to Run Anymore


    Evelyn took a sip of her drink.


    Set it down.


    And then, finally, she spoke.


    "You know, for a guy who¡¯s helped rewrite evolution, you¡¯re pretty bad at admitting what you actually want."


    I laughed.


    It was tired. Dry.


    "Yeah. Seems like a character flaw at this point."


    She nudged my arm.


    "So fix it."


    "It¡¯s not that easy."


    "Sure it is."


    I looked at her.


    At everything happening around us.


    At the world I couldn¡¯t run from anymore.


    And I realized¡ª


    Maybe she was right.


    Maybe I just had to stop pretending I was an outsider.


    Maybe I just had to accept that this was my world too.


    And maybe¡­


    I didn¡¯t have to face it alone.


    Final Thoughts (I Think I Want to Stay)


    ? I asked the question I wasn¡¯t ready to ask.


    ? Evelyn made me realize I already knew the answer.


    ? The future is coming, and I want to be in it.


    ? And maybe¡­ just maybe¡­ I don¡¯t want to be in it alone.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    I think I just stopped running.


    End Log.

 Chapter 64

    Intern¡¯s Log: I Have Been Kidnapped by the Panda Men


    Date: [I Want Off This Ride]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (This is beyond my ability to process.)


    So.


    I was having a moment.


    ? Evelyn and I were actually talking about the future.


    ? I was finally accepting that I had a place in this world.


    ? The Good Boys had arrived, and we were about to have real discussions.


    ? **For once, things were stable. **


    And then?


    The goddamn panda men showed up.


    And now?


    Now I am kidnapped.


    Phase One: The Moment It Went Wrong


    One minute, I was standing by the fire, deep in thought.


    The next?


    There was a sharp, distinct smell¡ªsomething sickly sweet.


    I turned.


    Saw figures moving in the trees.


    Then¡­


    Nothing.


    Darkness.


    And now I am waking up in an unfamiliar place.


    With several very large, very armed panda men staring at me.


    Phase Two: Who the Hell Are the Panda Men?


    Alright.


    Context.


    ? China had its own uplift projects.


    ? They never officially admitted to them.


    ? **But rumors existed¡ªabout experiments with pandas.


    ? About a silent force waiting in the shadows.


    ? And apparently, that force just decided to kidnap me.


    I did not sign up for this.


    Phase Three: The Interrogation That Makes No Sense


    They did not hurt me.


    They did not threaten me.


    They just¡­ watched.


    Then, one of them¡ªa massive panda in a robe¡ªfinally spoke.


    "You have disrupted the balance."


    I blinked.


    "Excuse me?"


    "You have accelerated what should not be accelerated. You have invited chaos into order."


    Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators!


    I blinked harder.


    "Look, man, I do a lot of things by accident. You¡¯re gonna have to be more specific."


    Phase Four: The Panda Men Do Not Like Bandit


    They showed me a hologram.


    It was Bandit.


    Sitting on a makeshift throne.


    Smirking.


    "This creature."


    "Yeah, that tracks."


    "He is dangerous."


    "Oh, no argument there."


    The panda narrowed his eyes.


    "You follow him."


    "No, no, he follows me. ¡­Kind of. Look, it¡¯s complicated."


    "He will bring war."


    "Honestly? Probably."


    "And you helped him."


    I sighed.


    "Look, do you think I planned for any of this? I was just supposed to be an intern, man."


    They did not seem impressed.


    Phase Five: They Think I Am a Problem


    ? The panda men believe in balance.


    ? They think humanity is rushing toward something unnatural.


    ? They think I am responsible.


    ? They do not know if I am the cause or just a symptom.


    And now?


    Now they are deciding what to do with me.


    I do not like this.


    Phase Six: The Escape Plan (That I Do Not Have)


    Okay.


    I have no weapons.


    I have no backup.


    I have no idea where I am.


    My only advantage?


    I know Bandit is already looking for me.


    And if I know anything about that little bastard¡ª


    It¡¯s that he does not take kindly to people stealing his ¡°human.¡±


    So I just have to stall.


    And hope that the raccoon warlord I accidentally created comes crashing through the doors before these pandas decide to ¡°restore balance¡± in a way that involves me disappearing.


    Final Thoughts (I Hate My Life)


    ? I have been kidnapped by genetically enhanced panda men.


    ? They think I am disrupting the natural order.


    ? They really do not like Bandit.


    ? I do not know what their next move is.


    ? I just have to hold out until Bandit finds me.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    If Bandit shows up, this is about to become a full-blown international incident.


    End Log.

 Chapter 65

    Intern¡¯s Log: Vicky Just Showed Up to Rescue Me, and I Don¡¯t Know How to Feel About That


    Date: [Kidnapped, But Apparently Not for Long]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I don¡¯t know whether to be relieved or terrified.)


    So.


    I was kidnapped by genetically enhanced panda men.


    ? They believe in ¡°balance.¡±


    ? They think I have disrupted it.


    ? They do not like Bandit.


    ? They are deciding what to do with me.


    I had no escape plan.


    No weapons.


    No way out.


    But apparently?


    I did not need one.


    Because Vicky just walked in.


    Like she owned the place.


    Like she wasn¡¯t grossly outnumbered.


    Like she wasn¡¯t standing in a room full of combat-trained bioengineered pandas.


    And she smiled.


    "Ah. There you are, darling."


    Phase One: The Pandas Were Not Expecting Her


    I was just as surprised as they were.


    Because there she was¡ª


    ? Vicky.


    ? Perfectly composed.


    ? Wearing some kind of ridiculously elegant tactical jacket.


    ? Smirking like she was bored with the whole situation.


    And the pandas?


    They actually hesitated.


    Because Vicky does not move like Bandit.


    Bandit is loud, unpredictable, chaotic.


    Vicky?


    Vicky is controlled. Measured. Cold.


    And that?


    That is so much worse.


    Phase Two: The Most Unsettling Conversation of My Life


    The lead panda finally spoke.


    "You do not belong here."


    Vicky tilted her head slightly.


    "No, but he does."


    She looked at me.


    I felt my stomach drop.


    Because her expression didn¡¯t match her tone.


    Her words were casual. Playful.


    But her eyes?


    Her eyes were dangerous.


    And the pandas saw it too.


    Phase Three: The Ultimatum That Wasn¡¯t


    "We are deciding what to do with him," the panda said.


    Vicky smiled.


    "Oh, no, no. You misunderstand."


    She took a step forward.


    "You are not deciding anything."


    The room got very, very quiet.


    The pandas shifted slightly.


    Because suddenly, it wasn¡¯t about me anymore.


    It was about her.


    And Vicky was not afraid.


    Phase Four: The Part Where I Realize I Am the Damsel in Distress


    Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author''s preferred platform and support their work!


    One of the younger pandas growled.


    "You do not command us, vixen."


    Vicky laughed softly.


    "Oh, you think this is a command?"


    She lifted her hand.


    Snapped her fingers.


    And that¡¯s when I heard it.


    The sound of weapons being drawn outside.


    The pandas heard it too.


    Because suddenly, they weren¡¯t so sure they had control of the situation anymore.


    Vicky just sighed dramatically.


    "I told them to wait outside, you know. But patience isn¡¯t really their strong suit."


    I blinked.


    "Who the hell is ¡®them¡¯?"


    She grinned.


    "Oh, darling. You didn¡¯t think I came alone, did you?"


    Phase Five: The Cavalry Has Arrived (Apparently Led by a Raccoon Warlord)


    There was a sharp whistle from the hallway.


    Then¡ª


    "OI, PANDAS! YOU HAVE SOMETHING OF MINE!"


    I groaned.


    Because I knew that voice.


    A second later, Bandit waltzed in.


    Waltzed.


    Like he was walking into his own palace.


    And behind him?


    ? Goldie, standing like an immovable wall.


    ? Cairo, already vanishing into the shadows.


    ? A squad of raccoons, looking way too eager for a fight.


    ? A very unimpressed Evelyn, arms crossed.


    Bandit grinned at the pandas.


    "You know, I¡¯m usually a peaceful guy."


    That was a lie.


    "But when someone steals my favorite human, I get a little testy."


    The lead panda sighed heavily.


    "This was not necessary."


    Vicky tilted her head.


    "Oh, but it was."


    And just like that¡ª


    the pandas had lost.


    Phase Six: The Aftermath (and My Very Confusing Feelings)


    The pandas let me go.


    Vicky didn¡¯t look back as she walked me out.


    Bandit?


    Bandit shot finger guns at the pandas on the way out.


    "Pleasure doing business, boys!"


    I am never going to be able to return to China.


    Phase Seven: The Part Where I Have to Process What Just Happened


    As soon as we were far enough away, I turned to Vicky.


    "So¡­ you came to rescue me."


    She rolled her eyes.


    "Don¡¯t sound so surprised."


    "I just¡ªI mean, I didn¡¯t¡ª"


    She smirked.


    "Oh, darling. We both know you¡¯re mine."


    I choked on air.


    Bandit cackled.


    Goldie raised an eyebrow.


    Evelyn?


    Evelyn just grinned.


    I hate all of them.


    Final Thoughts (I Need a Drink and a Nap)


    ? I was kidnapped by genetically enhanced panda men.


    ? Vicky showed up like a villain in a spy movie and demanded my release.


    ? Bandit turned it into an international incident.


    ? I am apparently Vicky¡¯s now??


    ? I don¡¯t know what to do with this information.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    I am never living this down.


    End Log.

 Chapter 66

    Intern¡¯s Log: Evelyn Just Called Me the ¡®Jerry Reed to Bandit¡¯s Burt Reynolds¡¯¡ªWhat Does That Even Mean?!


    Date: [Confused]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I am losing control of this narrative.)


    So.


    I was processing the fact that I was just rescued from panda-men by:


    ? Vicky, who acted like a Bond villain.


    ? Bandit, who absolutely made this worse.


    ? Goldie, who is now officially on every government watchlist.


    ? Evelyn, who enjoyed all of this way too much.


    And as we were walking away from the wreckage that is my life, Evelyn just casually says¡ª


    "Do you realize you¡¯re the Jerry Reed to Bandit¡¯s Burt Reynolds?"


    I blinked.


    "What."


    She just grinned.


    "You heard me."


    I heard her.


    I just didn¡¯t understand what the hell she meant.


    Phase One: What Does That Even Mean?!


    "Evelyn, I need clarification."


    *"Oh, Reynolds. Sweetheart." She smirked. "You¡¯re the sidekick. The responsible one. The guy trying to keep up with the absolute train wreck that is Bandit."


    I stared at her.


    "That¡­ that can¡¯t be right."


    She laughed.


    "Really? Who just got kidnapped because of Bandit¡¯s nonsense?"


    "¡­Me."


    "Who constantly has to fix the problems Bandit causes?"


    "¡­Me."


    "Who is always one step behind him, just trying to keep the disaster manageable?"


    "¡­Me."


    Oh.


    Oh no.


    Phase Two: The Realization I Am a Sidekick


    I stopped walking.


    Just stood there.


    Staring at the sky.


    Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    Processing.


    Bandit turned around, confused.


    "What¡¯s up with him?"


    Evelyn smirked.


    "Oh, he¡¯s just realizing he¡¯s not the main character."


    Bandit snorted.


    "Wait, wait, you thought you were the star of this story?"


    I glared.


    "I¡ªI am NOT the sidekick!"


    Bandit patted my shoulder.


    "Sure, bud."


    I hate him.


    Phase Three: The Breakdown of the Roles


    I went silent for a minute.


    Then, finally¡ª


    "Okay, walk me through this."


    Evelyn grinned.


    "Alright. Smokey and the Bandit. Classic film. One reckless, charming outlaw¡ªBurt Reynolds as the Bandit. One smart, capable but slightly outmatched partner¡ªJerry Reed as Snowman."


    I narrowed my eyes.


    "And you¡¯re saying¡ª"


    "Bandit is Bandit, obviously."


    "Right."


    "And you, my dear, are Snowman."


    "No."


    "Yes."


    "I refuse."


    "Refusal is denial, denial is acceptance."


    "EVELYN, I AM NOT A SIDEKICK!"


    Bandit was grinning so hard his face might split in half.


    "Oh, I love this revelation."


    I am in hell.


    Phase Four: The Part Where I Try to Fight It


    "Look, I am not just some supporting character to Bandit¡¯s chaos."


    Bandit looked at me.


    "Really?"


    "Yes!"


    "Then why do you follow me everywhere?"


    "I DON¡¯T FOLLOW YOU, I CLEAN UP YOUR MESS!"


    "Exactly."


    Shit.


    Phase Five: The Part Where I Accept My Fate


    I dragged a hand down my face.


    "So what does that make you, Evelyn?"


    She thought about it.


    Then just smirked.


    "Oh, I¡¯m just here for the ride."


    Of course she is.


    Of course.


    Final Thoughts (I Am Never Living This Down)


    ? Evelyn has shattered my worldview.


    ? Bandit is enjoying this way too much.


    ? I have accidentally become the sidekick to a raccoon warlord.


    ? I do not know what this means for my dignity.


    ? But I do know this¡ª


    I am never going to hear the end of it.


    End Log.

 Chapter 67

    Intern¡¯s Log: My Mother Has Planned My Wedding, and I Was Not Informed


    Date: [Existential Panic]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (This is happening way too fast.)


    So.


    I got a call from my mother.


    I thought it would be about the usual things.


    ? Why I don¡¯t call more.


    ? Why I don¡¯t visit.


    ? Why I haven¡¯t given her grandkids that aren¡¯t genetically enhanced super-soldiers.


    But no.


    No, this time, she had new information.


    Information that directly concerned me.


    Apparently, my wedding is planned.


    My wedding.


    To Evelyn.


    Which I did not know about.


    Because I did not propose.


    Because I was not consulted.


    Because somehow, the raccoon warlord and his aristocratic queen got involved.


    And now?


    Now this is happening.


    Phase One: The Moment of Realization


    The phone barely rang before I answered.


    "Hi, Mom¡ª"


    "Oh, sweetheart! I was just about to call you!"


    "You are calling me."


    "Yes, yes, anyway¡ªI have some exciting news!"


    I already didn¡¯t like where this was going.


    "¡­Go on."


    "The wedding is all coming together!"


    I froze.


    "¡­What wedding?"


    *"Why, yours, of course!"


    Oh.


    Oh no.


    Phase Two: Who Knew About This?!


    "Mom."


    "Yes, sweetheart?"


    "I did not propose to Evelyn."


    "Oh, I know!"


    "Then why is there a wedding planned?"


    "Well, Vicky told me you¡¯d probably be too slow about it, so she and Bandit took care of the arrangements!"


    I nearly dropped the phone.


    If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    "I¡ªVICKY?! BANDIT?! YOU LET A RACCOON WARLORD PLAN MY WEDDING?!"


    "Oh, don¡¯t be dramatic, dear. Goldie is officiating!"


    I sat down.


    I drank the rest of my coffee.


    I questioned every life choice that had led me here.


    Phase Three: The Confirmed Conspirators


    ? **My mother¡ª**fully on board, probably already ordering flower arrangements.


    ? **Vicky¡ª**definitely orchestrating this like a royal event.


    ? **Bandit¡ª**absolutely using this to solidify political power.


    ? **Goldie¡ª**taking this way too seriously.


    ? **Evelyn¡ª**NOT STOPPING THIS.


    Oh god.


    Does she already know?


    I turned my head.


    She was leaning against the doorframe.


    Smirking.


    "Oh, hey, darling."


    Phase Four: The Part Where I Try to Protest and Fail


    "Did you know about this?!"


    She sipped her drink.


    "Of course."


    "AND YOU¡¯RE OKAY WITH THIS?!"


    "Oh, Reynolds."


    She walked over.


    Sat down next to me.


    Tilted her head.


    "Do you really think you¡¯re getting out of this?"


    I opened my mouth.


    Paused.


    Closed my mouth.


    Because she was right.


    I am not escaping this.


    Phase Five: The Wedding of the Century


    ? Bandit is treating this like a diplomatic event.


    ? Vicky is planning it like a royal coronation.


    ? Goldie is officiating like it¡¯s a sacred bear tradition.


    ? The Good Boys are probably the security detail.


    ? And my mother?


    She is delighted.


    Absolutely thrilled.


    I can already hear her telling all her friends.


    "Oh, you won¡¯t believe what Reynolds¡¯ wedding is going to look like!"


    I am doomed.


    Final Thoughts (There Is No Escape)


    ? I am getting married.


    ? I was not consulted.


    ? The wedding is already planned.


    ? I am not getting out of this.


    I don¡¯t know how this happened.


    But I do know this¡ª


    The only thing scarier than an alien abduction is a determined mother.


    End Log.

 Chapter 68

    Intern¡¯s Log: I Am Meeting My Future In-Laws¡ªBecause Bandit Kidnapped Them


    Date: [This Is Not How This Was Supposed to Happen]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (This is officially out of control.)


    So.


    You know what I said about determined mothers?


    Yeah.


    Now I have to meet Evelyn¡¯s parents.


    Which would be stressful enough on its own.


    But because this is my life, I am not just meeting them.


    I am meeting them in a classified, secret, stolen Russian scientific research base.


    Because Bandit had them black-bagged.


    Because apparently, that¡¯s how we do things now.


    I need a drink.


    Phase One: The Moment I Learned This Was Happening


    It started like every disaster in my life does.


    With Bandit grinning at me like he was about to drop a bombshell.


    "Reynolds, my dear friend!"


    "No."


    "Now, now, don¡¯t be like that. I have wonderful news!"


    "Bandit, last time you said that, I ended up in a panda interrogation chamber."


    "Yes, but this is different!"


    "Bandit, what did you do?"


    He spread his arms.


    "Congratulations! You¡¯re meeting the in-laws!"


    I blinked.


    "I¡ªwait, what?"


    "I acquired them for you!"


    I stared.


    "You KIDNAPPED Evelyn¡¯s PARENTS?!"


    "I relocated them."


    "TO A STOLEN WAR BASE?!"


    "Context is important, Reynolds."


    I am going to die.


    Phase Two: Evelyn''s Reaction


    I turned to Evelyn, hoping¡ªpraying¡ªshe was going to be outraged.


    But she was just¡­


    Laughing.


    "Oh my god, Bandit, you didn¡¯t."


    "I did!"


    "How¡¯d you get my father? That man is paranoid."


    "Oh, please. I¡¯ve kidnapped scientists, warlords, and intelligence operatives. You think I can¡¯t grab one ex-KGB microbiologist?"


    I felt lightheaded.


    "Evelyn."


    She grinned.


    "Relax, Reynolds. It¡¯s probably not the first time he¡¯s been bagged and dragged to a black site."


    I am in love with an insane person.


    Phase Three: The ¡°Meet the Parents¡± Briefing


    Bandit led me into the briefing room.


    Goldie was already there, watching the monitors.


    Vicky sat beside her, legs crossed, sipping tea, looking entirely unbothered.


    Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.


    And on the screen?


    Two very, very unhappy people.


    ? One woman¡ªsharp features, calculating gaze, the kind of woman who knows everything about you before you even introduce yourself.


    ? One man¡ªbuilt like an old-school Soviet officer, staring at the camera like he was trying to break it with his mind.


    And me?


    I was about to walk into that room and explain why their daughter was marrying a man surrounded by a raccoon dictatorship and a bear-led military force.


    I am not emotionally equipped for this.


    Phase Four: The Worst Introduction of My Life


    The door opened.


    I stepped inside.


    They turned to me.


    Silence.


    Then Evelyn¡¯s mother¡ª**Tatiana¡ª**spoke first.


    "You are the one."


    Not a question.


    A statement.


    I swallowed.


    "Uh. Yes?"


    Evelyn¡¯s father¡ª**Gregor¡ª**narrowed his eyes.


    "You work for government?"


    "I¡ªuh, technically? Not anymore?"


    "Then you work for them."


    He gestured at the screens, which were currently showing Bandit stuffing a croissant into his mouth like a gremlin.


    I sighed.


    "Not by choice."


    Phase Five: The In-Law Interrogation


    Tatiana leaned forward, studying me.


    "You are former researcher. Now you are¡­ what? Head diplomat to uplifted animals? First human to be abducted by extraterrestrials? Walking scientific disaster?"


    I winced.


    "I feel like you already answered your own question."


    "Hmm."


    Silence.


    Gregor cracked his knuckles.


    "I do not like you."


    "I understand."


    "But my daughter does."


    "¡­Yes?"


    Tatiana sighed.


    "Then we must live with it."


    I am¡­ not sure if that was approval or a death sentence.


    Phase Six: Evelyn Steps In


    Evelyn finally entered the room.


    Grinning.


    "Well, you didn¡¯t kill him yet, so that¡¯s a good sign!"


    Tatiana sighed.


    "Evelyn, I taught you better than this."


    "Mom, I love him."


    Gregor groaned.


    "You love chaos."


    "And?"


    Tatiana just shook her head.


    "We are not stopping this, are we?"


    Evelyn smirked.


    "Nope."


    And that was it.


    That was the moment I realized I was accepted.


    Not because I was worthy.


    But because they knew they couldn¡¯t stop Evelyn.


    And honestly?


    That¡¯s fair.


    Final Thoughts (I Am Now Part of a Russian Family, Apparently)


    ? Bandit kidnapped my future in-laws.


    ? Evelyn was not even surprised.


    ? Her parents interrogated me and then just gave up.


    ? Gregor still doesn¡¯t like me, but that¡¯s fine.


    ? Tatiana is already planning how to prepare me for survival.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    I am never getting out of this family.


    End Log.

 Chapter 69

    Intern¡¯s Log: Apparently, My Wedding Is a State Affair


    Date: [The Day of Reckoning]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I just wanted to get married. Now I¡¯m hosting a geopolitical event.)


    So.


    I knew this wedding was out of my hands.


    ? My mother was involved. (Which meant I was doomed from the start.)


    ? Vicky was involved. (Which meant this became a royal event.)


    ? Bandit was involved. (Which meant it was now a power move.)


    ? Goldie was officiating. (Which meant there would probably be combat trials at some point.)


    ? The Good Boys were providing security. (Which meant it was essentially a military operation.)


    But I did not know world leaders had been invited.


    And I did not know Evelyn Kerensky, my soon-to-be wife, had personally insisted on a Greek Orthodox cathedral wedding.


    Which meant?


    ? I was about to get married in an old, grand church.


    ? With the most powerful people in the world watching.


    ? While uplifted animals and extraterrestrials sat in the audience.


    ? And I had absolutely no say in any of it.


    I need so much alcohol.


    Phase One: The Venue (Apparently, We Needed History)


    I thought, Hey, maybe we¡¯re doing something simple. Maybe it¡¯s a small, quiet ceremony.


    No.


    Because Evelyn wanted a church.


    And not just any church.


    She wanted history.


    She wanted tradition.


    She wanted the weight of centuries behind us.


    Which is why I am standing in front of an absolutely massive, ancient Greek Orthodox cathedral, wearing a suit I didn¡¯t choose, trying to process the fact that my wedding is happening here.


    Phase Two: The Guest List Is a Nightmare


    "Bandit, why are there diplomatic motorcades outside?"


    Bandit grinned.


    "Oh, didn¡¯t I tell you? This is a state event now."


    "STATE EVENT?! WHY?!"


    "Well, when you marry into power, Reynolds, you gotta play the part."


    I grabbed his tiny shoulders.


    "WHO DID YOU INVITE?!"


    He counted on his fingers.


    ? Several heads of state.


    ? Most major intelligence agencies.


    ? The Pope was ¡°interested but busy.¡±


    ? At least two alien observers. (Zil-Vatek absolutely RSVP¡¯d.)


    ? The entirety of the Bear Collective leadership. (Because of course.)


    ? The Raccoon Dominion. (Diplomatic courtesy, apparently.)


    ? The Lemur delegation. (I don¡¯t even know what that means.)


    ? The Good Boys. (Because they were always coming.)


    ? Several ¡°classified guests¡± that Bandit refused to elaborate on.


    I am hyperventilating.


    Phase Three: The Ceremony (This Is Too Much)


    This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.


    Alright.


    So now I am standing at the altar.


    Waiting.


    Trying not to pass out.


    The cathedral is full.


    Not with friends and family.


    But with the most dangerous and influential people on the planet.


    And beyond.


    ? Goldie is officiating, standing there like a divine warrior-priestess.


    ? Bandit is sitting with world leaders, sipping wine like he¡¯s already won something.


    ? The Good Boys are lining the aisle, looking like they are ready for an extraction mission if I try to run.


    ? Vicky looks far too pleased with herself.


    ? **Zil-Vatek is in the back, taking notes. **


    ? The bears are watching everything like this is a military treaty negotiation.


    And then?


    Then the music starts.


    And the doors open.


    And Evelyn steps inside.


    Phase Four: The Moment I Forget Everything Else


    She is¡­


    Stunning.


    Regal.


    Wearing something classically elegant, timeless, and just extravagant enough to fit this absurd event.


    She walks toward me, completely unbothered by the insanity happening around us.


    Like this is exactly how she planned it.


    Like she knew I¡¯d be standing here, overwhelmed, speechless.


    And when she reaches me?


    She smirks.


    "Don¡¯t pass out, sweetheart."


    Phase Five: The Part Where I Actually Get Married


    Goldie clears her throat.


    "We are gathered here today¡­"


    I barely hear the words.


    Because suddenly, nothing else matters.


    Not the politics.


    Not the world leaders.


    Not the fact that my wedding is now an interspecies diplomatic event.


    Just her.


    Evelyn.


    The only person in my life who terrifies me and comforts me in equal measure.


    And when Goldie asks, "Do you take this woman?"


    I don¡¯t even hesitate.


    "I do."


    And just like that.


    Everything changes.


    Phase Six: The Aftermath (And the Party That Will Probably Last for Days)


    ? The ceremony was a success.


    ? No wars broke out. (Yet.)


    ? The reception is already out of control.


    ? Bandit is absolutely using this to finalize diplomatic agreements.


    ? Zil-Vatek got wasted on human alcohol again.


    And me?


    I am standing on a balcony, drink in hand, trying to process the fact that I am now married.


    Evelyn steps up next to me.


    Smirking.


    "You survived."


    I exhale.


    "Barely."


    "So¡­" she nudges me, teasing. "Still questioning your place in the future?"


    I laugh softly.


    "Not anymore."


    And for the first time in forever¡­


    I think I finally believe that.


    Final Thoughts (This Is My Life Now, and That¡¯s Okay)


    ? I got married in a state-level event.


    ? The world was watching.


    ? I am now tied to one of the most terrifyingly brilliant women alive.


    ? And somehow?


    ? That doesn¡¯t scare me as much as it used to.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    I wouldn¡¯t want to face it with anyone else.


    End Log.

 Chapter 70

    Intern¡¯s Log: Evelyn Just Learned My First Name, and Now Everyone Knows


    Date: [Embarrassed]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (This is the worst day of my life.)


    So.


    I got married today.


    That should be the headline.


    That should be the most important part of my day.


    But no.


    Because Evelyn just learned my full name.


    And now everyone knows.


    Including Goldie, who stopped the entire ceremony to confirm I wasn¡¯t playing a prank on her.


    I was not.


    Because my real, legal first name is Jehoshebaiah.


    I wish I was joking.


    I wish I could say I was pranking a ten-foot-tall war bear during my own wedding.


    But no.


    This is my life.


    Phase One: The Moment Everything Fell Apart


    Goldie was mid-sentence.


    The wedding was going smoothly.


    And then she paused.


    Frowned.


    Looked at me.


    "¡­Jehoshebaiah?"


    The entire church went silent.


    I felt actual physical heat rush to my face.


    And before I could stop it¡ª


    Evelyn gasped.


    Loudly.


    Dramatically.


    Like she had just discovered the biggest scandal of the century.


    "Oh my GOD, REYNOLDS!"


    Phase Two: The Interrogation in the Middle of My Own Wedding


    Goldie¡¯s eyes narrowed.


    "Reynolds. Is this a prank?"


    She sounded concerned.


    Like this was a test of honor and integrity.


    Like I had personally insulted her trust.


    I panicked.


    "Goldie, I swear to god, it¡¯s real!"


    She squinted harder.


    "You are telling me you were named Jehoshebaiah by your human parents?"


    "YES."


    "¡­And you expect me to believe this?"


    "I CAN¡¯T EVEN PRONOUNCE IT, GOLDIE!"


    Evelyn was laughing so hard she was actually crying.


    Phase Three: Evelyn Betrays Me in Front of a World Audience


    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.


    Evelyn, my wife, my life partner, the person I am supposed to trust above all others,


    was now fully doubled over in her wedding dress, wheezing.


    "OH, SWEETHEART," she gasped, tears in her eyes.


    "HOW HAVE YOU NEVER TOLD ME THIS?!"


    "BECAUSE I DON¡¯T USE IT!"


    Bandit, who was already smug before this revelation, was now sitting back in his chair like he had just won the lottery.


    "This is the greatest day of my life," he muttered.


    Goldie, finally convinced I was not pranking her, just nodded solemnly.


    "A warrior should never hide his name, Reynolds."


    "I WAS TRYING TO HIDE FROM IT, GOLDIE!"


    Phase Four: My Parents Did This to Me on Purpose


    "How did this happen?" Evelyn finally asked, still grinning.


    I sighed.


    Rubbed my temples.


    And muttered:


    "My parents were both on painkillers at the time."


    Silence.


    Then Vicky choked on her wine.


    "EXCUSE ME?"


    I exhaled sharply.


    "Dad had a broken arm. Mom was in labor. Apparently, in their drugged-out stupor, they decided it would be hilarious to pick a biblical name no one could pronounce."


    Bandit actually slid out of his chair laughing.


    Goldie nodded like this was a tragic tale of war and suffering.


    "A cruel fate indeed."


    I am never recovering from this.


    Phase Five: The Wedding Continues, but I Am Forever Changed


    Goldie finally shook her head.


    "Very well. We will proceed."


    The ceremony resumed.


    But it didn¡¯t matter.


    Because now the most powerful people on the planet, extraterrestrial observers, and uplifted species leaders all knew my secret.


    And I would never live it down.


    Evelyn leaned in close.


    "I love you, Jehoshebaiah."


    I groaned.


    "Do not start."


    "Oh, I¡¯m never letting this go, sweetheart."


    Great. Just great.


    Final Thoughts (I Will Never Escape This Name)


    ? I got married.


    ? But my real first name was exposed.


    ? Evelyn is never letting me forget it.


    ? Bandit now has eternal blackmail material.


    ? I may have to move to another country.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    I should have used a fake ID years ago.


    End Log.

 Chapter 71

    Intern¡¯s Log: I Just Got an Update on the Monsters Coming for Us¡ªFrom My First Hookup.


    Date: [I Want to Die]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (This might be worse than the apocalypse itself.)


    So.


    I was expecting an update.


    ? The Good Boys felt something moving in the dark.


    ? **Zil-Vatek warned that something was watching. **


    ? The Galactic Council refuses to acknowledge the threat.


    ? We have uplifted species, and that might be why they¡¯ve noticed us.


    ? The world is on the edge of something very, very bad.


    But what I was not expecting¡ª


    What I could have never predicted¡ª


    Was that the warning would come from my first hookup.


    My first-ever, deeply awkward, bad-decision-of-my-youth, please-let-us-never-speak-of-this-again hookup.


    Because, apparently?


    She is involved in all of this.


    And I?


    I am not ready for this conversation.


    Phase One: The Call I Was Not Prepared For


    I was at my desk, trying to recover from my wedding, when my private line rang.


    The secure line.


    The one only a handful of people should have access to.


    So, obviously, I answered.


    "Reynolds."


    Silence.


    Then¡ª


    "Wow. Never thought I¡¯d hear your voice again."


    I froze.


    Because I knew that voice.


    Too well.


    "Oh. Oh no."


    She laughed.


    "Oh, yes."


    I leaned back in my chair, already regretting my life.


    "What do you want?"


    "Oh, nothing much."


    A pause.


    "Just thought you should know¡ªyour monsters? They¡¯re already here."


    Oh. Oh, no.


    Phase Two: The Woman Who Should Not Be Here


    Let me be clear.


    This woman¡ªthis particular person¡ª


    Was not supposed to be in my life anymore.


    She was supposed to be a footnote.


    A bad decision made in a moment of reckless youth.


    ? We hooked up once.


    ? It was wildly ill-advised.


    ? We parted ways under mutual ¡°Let¡¯s never acknowledge this again¡± terms.


    ? And now, years later, she is telling me the world is already under attack.


    I rubbed my face.


    "How do you know about this?"


    She laughed again.


    "Reynolds, sweetheart. I work for them."


    I felt my soul leave my body.


    Phase Three: What She Told Me (And Why It¡¯s Worse Than I Thought)


    Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.


    "Okay. Okay. Just¡ªexplain."


    "The monsters? The ones watching? The ones you think are coming?"


    "Yeah?"


    "They never left."


    I felt physically ill.


    "What do you mean?"


    "I mean, they¡¯ve been here this entire time. Hiding. Waiting. Adjusting."


    "Adjusting to what?"


    She paused.


    Then, in a flat, calm voice, she said¡ª


    "To us."


    I did not like that answer.


    Phase Four: The Implications That Ruined My Day


    ? The monsters aren¡¯t arriving.


    ? They¡¯re already here.


    ? They are adapting to human civilization.


    ? They are learning from us.


    ? They are waiting for something.


    I took a deep breath.


    "How long?"


    "Long enough."


    "How many?"


    She hesitated.


    "That¡¯s the problem."


    "What do you mean?"


    "We don¡¯t know where they end and we begin anymore."


    I felt my stomach drop.


    Phase Five: The Realization That Broke Me


    "So what? They¡¯re¡­ disguising themselves?"


    "Not disguising."


    "Then what?"


    She took a breath.


    "Some of them were never disguises, Reynolds."


    Silence.


    Long.


    Heavy.


    "You¡¯re saying some of them were always human."


    "No. I¡¯m saying some of them were never human to begin with."


    I sat back.


    Mind reeling.


    Because that?


    That changes everything.


    Phase Six: The One Question I Should Have Asked First


    "Why are you telling me this?"


    She paused.


    Then she said,


    "Because you¡¯re the only one they¡¯re afraid of."


    I blinked.


    "WHAT? WHY?!"


    "Think about it, sweetheart. The bears. The raccoons. The Good Boys. The lemurs. The aliens. Every major non-human intelligence on this planet?"


    "Yeah?"


    "They trust you."


    I swallowed.


    "And that scares them?"


    "No, sweetheart."


    "It terrifies them."


    Phase Seven: The Call Ends, and I Need a Drink


    "So what do I do?" I asked.


    "That¡¯s up to you."


    "Great. Thanks. Very helpful."


    She chuckled.


    "Oh, and Reynolds?"


    "What."


    "Tell Evelyn I say hi."


    And then she hung up.


    Leaving me sitting there, staring at the wall.


    Trying to process the fact that the monsters aren¡¯t just here.


    They¡¯ve always been here.


    And now I have to figure out what the hell I¡¯m supposed to do about it.


    Final Thoughts (I Need Therapy, But There¡¯s No Time for That)


    ? The monsters aren¡¯t arriving.


    ? They never left.


    ? They are watching, waiting, and adapting.


    ? They are afraid of me. (Which is the most horrifying thing of all.)


    ? My first hookup is somehow involved in all of this. (Which is also horrifying.)


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    If they¡¯re afraid of me, that means I still have time to act.


    And I intend to use it.


    End Log.

 Chapter 72

    Intern¡¯s Log: The War Council¡ªAnd Who the Hell Is Fallen Star?


    Date: [This Is Getting Out of Hand]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I am not in control of this anymore.)


    So.


    The war is coming.


    ? The Good Boys know something is moving in the dark.


    ? The extraterrestrials are ignoring the problem.


    ? The uplifted species are preparing for war.


    ? And apparently, the monsters have always been here.


    Which means?


    We needed a war council.


    We needed all the big players.


    We needed to plan.


    And so, against my better judgment, we brought everyone to the table.


    ? Goldie, representing the Bear Collective.


    ? Bandit, representing himself and his growing empire of chaos.


    ? Vicky, because she refused to be left out.


    ? The Good Boys, because they felt the war before anyone else.


    ? Zil-Vatek, because he still thinks he¡¯s just an observer.


    ? Evelyn, because she is too smart not to be here.


    ? And some classified government contacts who finally decided they should pay attention.


    And then.


    Then some mysterious bastard walked in.


    And I¡ªthe guy who is supposed to know everyone¡ª


    Had no idea who the hell he was.


    Phase One: The Moment I Realized We Had an Uninvited Guest


    We were deep in discussion.


    ? Goldie was outlining tactical strengths.


    ? The Good Boys were confirming threats they had detected.


    ? Bandit was absolutely using this to expand his influence.


    ? Evelyn was poking holes in everyone¡¯s arguments, as usual.


    And then the door opened.


    And he walked in.


    A man.


    Tall.


    Weathered.


    Wearing a coat that had seen battle, carrying a presence that made everyone shut up immediately.


    And the first thing I thought?


    "Who the hell is this?"


    The second thing I thought?


    "Why is everyone else acting like they know him?"


    Phase Two: The Name That No One Questioned


    He didn¡¯t sit down.


    He just stood there.


    Watching.


    Goldie nodded to him.


    The Good Boys acknowledged him like an old comrade.


    Even Vicky¡ªwho rarely shows respect to anyone¡ªgave him an appraising look.


    So I finally said it.


    "Uh. Who the hell are you?"


    This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    He looked at me.


    "I am known."


    Oh, come on.


    Phase Three: Who the Hell Is Fallen Star?


    I turned to Goldie.


    "Seriously. Who is this?"


    She nodded toward him.


    "He is called Fallen Star."


    That told me nothing.


    I turned to Evelyn.


    She looked intrigued.


    "You¡¯ve never heard of him?"


    "NO, I HAVEN¡¯T HEARD OF HIM! WHO IS HE?!"


    Fallen Star just smirked.


    Like he was used to people asking.


    Like he had stopped answering a long time ago.


    And then Bandit, because of course it was Bandit, leaned over and muttered¡ª


    "He¡¯s older than all of this, Reynolds."


    I did not like that answer.


    Phase Four: The Weight of His Presence


    ? He didn¡¯t demand a seat.


    ? He didn¡¯t announce his rank or position.


    ? He didn¡¯t explain his knowledge of the war to come.


    Because he didn¡¯t need to.


    Because everyone else already knew.


    And that?


    That¡¯s when I realized¡ª


    This man wasn¡¯t just joining the war.


    He had been waiting for it.


    Phase Five: The Moment I Understood


    Goldie spoke first.


    "You come to fight."


    Fallen Star nodded.


    "I come because it was always going to end this way."


    Bandit chuckled.


    "Oh, I like him."


    I just rubbed my face.


    "Alright, fine. Someone just tell me¡ªwho is he really?"


    Evelyn tilted her head.


    "A legend."


    "A legend of what?!"


    Fallen Star finally looked me in the eye.


    "A legend of things that refuse to die."


    I felt a chill run down my spine.


    Because somehow, I believed him.


    Phase Six: The War Has Already Begun


    ? We have uplifted species preparing for battle.


    ? We have extraterrestrials still pretending they don¡¯t see the problem.


    ? We have government officials realizing they do not control this anymore.


    ? We have monsters already in our midst.


    ? And now?


    Now we have a warrior who does not belong to any faction,


    Who has walked through history unseen,


    Who does not fight for nations, but for survival itself.


    And I?


    I do not know where this ends.


    But Fallen Star?


    He does.


    Because he¡¯s been here before.


    And I am terrified to ask what he saw the last time.


    Final Thoughts (The Future Is No Longer in Our Hands)


    ? The war council has convened.


    ? The battle lines are being drawn.


    ? Fallen Star has joined us¡ªbut I don¡¯t know why.


    ? We are preparing for something beyond human understanding.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    We are not the first to face this war.


    And that means?


    We might not be the first to lose.


    End Log.

 Chapter 73

    Intern¡¯s Log: We¡¯re Reaching Out to the Panda Men¡ªAnd I Have No Idea How Many There Are Anymore


    Date: [Diplomatic Chaos]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I have lost count of how many uplifted species exist.)


    So.


    The war council happened.


    ? The Good Boys confirmed something is moving in the dark.


    ? Zil-Vatek warned that extraterrestrials will not help us.


    ? The bears are already mobilizing.


    ? The raccoons are consolidating power.


    ? The lemurs are¡­ doing whatever it is lemurs do.


    ? Fallen Star has joined us, which is a whole different problem.


    And now?


    Now we have to reach out to the pandas.


    Which is a problem.


    Because the Chinese government never stopped uplifting them.


    And at this point?


    I have no idea how many of them exist.


    Phase One: The Decision to Contact the Pandas


    "Alright," I muttered, staring at the map, "we need the pandas."


    The room fell silent.


    Bandit snorted.


    "Oh? You need them now?"


    "I never said I didn¡¯t!"


    "Really? Because last time they kidnapped you, you seemed pretty upset."


    "BANDIT, THEY STUFFED ME IN A BLACK SITE!"


    "And now you¡¯re inviting them to the table. Funny how life works."


    I hate him.


    Phase Two: How Many Pandas Are There Now?


    We reached out to the Chinese government.


    They took two days to respond.


    And when they did?


    They did not send human diplomats.


    They sent the pandas.


    ? More pandas than expected.


    ? More pandas than should logically exist.


    ? More pandas than I can emotionally process.


    I leaned over to Evelyn.


    "I thought there were only a few uplifted pandas."


    She raised an eyebrow.


    "Reynolds. That was five years ago."


    Oh.


    Oh no.


    Phase Three: The Panda Delegation Arrives


    ? They arrived in complete silence.


    ? *They were heavily armed, but not obviously so.


    ? They moved with a discipline that was eerily smooth.


    If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    ? They were¡­ too calm.


    And at their head?


    The same panda that had interrogated me before.


    "Reynolds."


    "Big guy. Uh. Hey."


    "You call upon us now."


    "Look, I was never against you guys¡ª"


    "You aligned with the chaos one."


    We all turned to Bandit.


    Who was grinning like a raccoon who had just stolen national secrets.


    "Ohhh, I love that that¡¯s my name now."


    The lead panda narrowed his eyes.


    "The world tilts toward destruction. You still believe he is the one to guide it?"


    Bandit just raised his glass.


    "Not guide it, big guy. Win it."


    The room got very quiet.


    And I realized something.


    This wasn¡¯t just a diplomatic meeting.


    This was a philosophical divide.


    Between order.


    And chaos.


    Between those who want to control the storm.


    And those who want to ride it.


    Phase Four: The War Is No Longer Just a Theory


    Goldie finally spoke.


    "The enemy is real."


    The pandas stiffened.


    "You have proof?"


    The Good Boys nodded.


    "It moves unseen, but it is already here," Chips confirmed.


    Fallen Star studied the pandas carefully.


    "You have seen this before," he said.


    It wasn¡¯t a question.


    It was a statement.


    The lead panda exhaled slowly.


    "We suspected."


    "And yet you did nothing," Goldie said, voice unreadable.


    "Not nothing," the panda said.


    "We grew."


    Oh.


    Oh no.


    Phase Five: The Hidden Panda Army


    "How many of you are there?" I asked.


    The panda watched me.


    Then, without breaking eye contact, he said¡ª


    "Enough."


    That was not the answer I wanted.


    That was so much worse.


    Because that means they¡¯ve been preparing for war long before we were.


    And now?


    Now they had a choice.


    Join the fight.


    Or watch us fall.


    Phase Six: The Pandas Make Their Decision


    The lead panda turned to his warriors.


    Then to us.


    "If this is the end of an age, then we will not watch from the shadows."


    He stepped forward.


    Placed a carved symbol onto the table.


    "We fight."


    Silence.


    Then Bandit grinned.


    "Well, now it¡¯s a party."


    God help us all.


    Final Thoughts (The World Is More Dangerous Than I Thought)


    ? The pandas are numerous.


    ? They have been preparing for this moment.


    ? They have chosen to fight.


    ? I do not know what they have hidden from us.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    We are no longer fighting alone.


    End Log.

 Chapter 74

    Intern¡¯s Log: I Have Begun Uplifting the Lemurs¡ªIt Seemed Like the Right Thing to Do


    Date: [This Is Getting Out of Hand]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I have lost all ability to stop myself.)


    So.


    The war is inevitable.


    ? The Good Boys confirmed the enemy is already here.


    ? The extraterrestrials are still ignoring the problem.


    ? The bears are preparing for battle.


    ? The raccoons are consolidating power.


    ? The pandas have officially joined the fight.


    ? Fallen Star has shown up, which means history is repeating itself.


    And me?


    I just made the worst decision of my life.


    I officially started uplifting the lemurs.


    Because at this point?


    Why the hell not?


    Phase One: The Thought Process That Led to This Terrible Idea


    It started as a small thought.


    A nagging realization.


    ? The bears are strong.


    ? The Good Boys are skilled.


    ? The raccoons are terrifyingly organized.


    ? The pandas are a hidden force waiting for deployment.


    But we were still missing something.


    Something fast.


    Something unpredictable.


    Something that could see the enemy before we did.


    And then I looked at the lemurs.


    And I thought¡­


    "Yeah. That tracks."


    Phase Two: The Moment I Told Bandit


    "Hey, Bandit?"


    "Yes, Jerry Reed?"


    "I will strangle you."


    "Ohhh, but you won¡¯t. Because you need me."


    I took a deep breath.


    "I think I¡¯m going to start uplifting the lemurs."


    Bandit stared.


    Then his face slowly split into the widest, most devilish grin I have ever seen.


    "Oh, Reynolds. You beautiful fool."


    Phase Three: The Science I Should Not Be Doing


    Okay.


    So technically I already had a head start.


    ? Some lemurs were already responding to structured problem-solving.


    ? **Some were demonstrating rudimentary tool use. **


    The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    ? Some had learned to steal from Bandit. (Which was terrifying.)


    ? **Some were actively observing military training drills. **


    So all I had to do was¡­


    ? Push their neural growth.


    ? Enhance their problem-solving capabilities.


    ? Improve memory retention.


    ? Accelerate adaptation to new environments.


    And just like that¡ª


    We had an army of hyper-intelligent, highly mobile, tree-dwelling operatives.


    This was either genius or the worst mistake I have ever made.


    Possibly both.


    Phase Four: The Part Where Goldie Found Out


    Goldie was already skeptical of the lemurs.


    She had seen them watching.


    She had seen them learning.


    But when I finally told her what I was doing?


    She just stared at me.


    For a very long time.


    "You are giving the small ones more intelligence?"


    "Yes."


    "You are doing this on purpose?"


    "¡­Yes?"


    She exhaled slowly.


    "You will regret this, Reynolds."


    That is not what I wanted to hear.


    Phase Five: The Lemurs Have Already Gone Too Far


    I checked on them today.


    They were waiting for me.


    ? One of them had fashioned a primitive spear.


    ? One of them had drawn a map of the facility.


    ? One of them tried to shake my hand.


    ? One of them was wearing stolen sunglasses.


    And then?


    One of them spoke.


    Not in sentences.


    Not in a fully developed language.


    But in a single word.


    He pointed at me.


    Grinned.


    And said¡ª


    "Teach."


    Oh.


    Oh no.


    Phase Six: Bandit¡¯s Immediate Response


    I walked back to base camp.


    Sat down.


    Drank an entire glass of whiskey.


    And said¡ª


    "The lemurs are talking."


    Bandit lit up like a Christmas tree.


    "OH, HELL YES."


    Goldie just shook her head.


    "This will be chaos."


    Evelyn, who was absolutely going to support this no matter what, just smiled.


    "So when do we start training them?"


    I hate all of them.


    Final Thoughts (I Have Created a Nightmare)


    ? The lemurs are officially uplifted.


    ? They are already learning too fast.


    ? They can speak, albeit barely.


    ? They are aware of their own intelligence.


    ? There is no stopping this now.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    We just added an entirely new faction to the war.


    And the enemy has no idea what¡¯s coming.


    End Log.

 Chapter 75

    Intern¡¯s Log: The Enemy¡¯s First Offensive¡ªThe Old Ones Have Returned


    Date: [The Beginning of the End]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (This is what we were afraid of.)


    So.


    It has begun.


    ? The Good Boys sensed it before anyone else.


    ? The extraterrestrials ignored it.


    ? The uplifted species have been preparing for war.


    ? The pandas knew something but wouldn¡¯t say what.


    ? Fallen Star has seen this before.


    But now?


    Now it¡¯s here.


    Because the Old Ones have returned.


    And this?


    This is only the first offensive.


    Phase One: The First Sign¡ªSilence Where There Should Be Sound


    It started with silence.


    ? Entire forests going quiet.


    ? No birds. No insects. No wind.


    ? The air felt wrong.


    I didn¡¯t understand it at first.


    But the Good Boys stopped moving.


    Goldie stood still, ears flicking, waiting.


    Even Bandit, who normally never shuts up, just stared into the distance.


    And then?


    The screams began.


    Phase Two: The First Attack¡ªThey Took an Entire Town


    We got the distress call too late.


    An entire settlement¡ªgone overnight.


    ? No bodies.


    ? No debris.


    ? Just¡­ absence.


    The town was still there.


    But it was wrong.


    ? Buildings standing, but feeling abandoned for centuries.


    ? Vehicles rusted beyond natural decay.


    ? Clocks frozen at different times, like reality itself had fractured.


    ? Memories erased¡ªpeople who should have existed no longer remembered.


    It wasn¡¯t just destruction.


    It was removal.


    They didn¡¯t kill.


    They unmade.


    Phase Three: The Enemy Shows Itself¡ªThe Old Ones Return


    The scouts were the first to see them.


    ? Figures in the mist¡ªtoo tall, too thin, too wrong.


    ? Limbs bending slightly off from how they should move.


    Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.


    ? Eyes like depthless voids, looking at something beyond this reality.


    ? Whispers on the wind¡ªnot words, but intent.


    And then?


    Then they stepped forward.


    And for the first time in thousands of years¡­


    The Old Ones returned to claim this world.


    Phase Four: The First Engagement¡ªAnd Our First Losses


    Goldie gave the order.


    The bears charged first.


    Then the Good Boys.


    Then the pandas.


    We opened fire.


    But the Old Ones did not fall.


    ? Bullets slowed in the air.


    ? Blades rusted before they could strike.


    ? Time itself seemed to stretch and fracture.


    ? The shadows bent¡ªalive, hungry, pulling at the edges of existence.


    And then we realized the truth.


    We were not fighting them.


    We were fighting their reflection¡ª


    A fragment of something so much worse.


    Phase Five: Fallen Star Knew What Was Coming


    The first wave of combatants were falling back.


    The bears, for the first time, hesitated.


    The Good Boys¡ªwho feared nothing¡ªwere pulling back.


    And then?


    Fallen Star stepped forward.


    No hesitation.


    No fear.


    And when the Old Ones turned to him,


    They stopped.


    And for the first time¡­ they watched.


    Because they remembered him.


    And he remembered them.


    "It was always going to end this way," he muttered.


    Then he drew his blade.


    And the real battle began.


    Phase Six: The War Has Started¡ªThere Is No Stopping It Now


    ? The enemy is real.


    ? They do not wage war as we understand it.


    ? They do not kill. They erase.


    ? They are testing us¡ªseeing if we are worthy to exist.


    ? Fallen Star has fought them before.


    But this time?


    This time we are not alone.


    This time we have built something new.


    Something that does not fit into their rules.


    Something that does not belong to the old ways of life and death.


    And if the Old Ones have come to wipe us away?


    Then we will show them why they should be afraid.


    Final Thoughts (The War Has Begun)


    ? The first attack was a test.


    ? The enemy is watching, waiting.


    ? We survived¡ªbut barely.


    ? This is only the beginning.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    We will not go quietly into the dark.


    End Log.

 Chapter 76

    Classified Intelligence Report: The Nature of the Enemy & Weapons to Fight Them


    Source: War Council Report


    Compiled By: Reynolds, J.


    Status: Urgent ¨C Existential Threat Countermeasures


    Summary


    The Old Ones have returned.


    ? They do not wage war as we understand it.


    ? They do not conquer.


    ? They do not kill in conventional terms.


    ? They erase. They unmake. They rewrite the fabric of existence.


    Standard human weapons are unreliable.


    ? Bullets slow in the air, sometimes vanishing entirely.


    ? Blades rust before impact, decay in the wielder¡¯s hands.


    ? Time bends in their presence¡ªhours stretch, seconds fracture.


    But we have advantages.


    ? We are unpredictable.


    ? We have uplifted species whose minds do not function like human minds.


    ? We have Fallen Star, who has fought them before.


    ? **And we are about to develop the first true anti-Old One weapons. **


    If we are going to survive, we need to adapt.


    Phase One: Understanding the Old Ones


    The Old Ones are not creatures.


    They are not beings in the way we understand.


    They are concepts given form.


    They exist between realities, slipping into our world when the conditions are right.


    They do not destroy civilizations through fire and war.


    They simply remove them.


    ? They rewrite history.


    ? They erase memories.


    ? They leave nothing but gaps where things once were.


    But something has changed.


    For the first time¡­ they hesitate.


    Why?


    Because they were expecting humans.


    And now?


    They are facing something new.


    Phase Two: Why We Might Have a Chance


    ? The Bears ¨C Unshaken by fear-based anomalies. Their size and resilience allow them to resist direct reality distortions longer than most.


    ? The Good Boys ¨C Hyper-trained combat instincts. Able to detect shifts in time and space before humans do.


    ? The Pandas ¨C Have spent decades preparing for a war they suspected would come. Their discipline and unseen numbers may be key.


    ? The Lemurs ¨C Their rapidly adapting minds make them an unpredictable factor. The Old Ones are uncertain how to account for them.


    ? Fallen Star ¨C He knows them. He fought them before. And somehow¡­ they remember him.


    The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    But the real key?


    We are not fighting like humans.


    We are not alone.


    And we are building weapons they have never encountered before.


    Phase Three: The New Weapons We Are Developing


    Since traditional weapons are failing, we have begun to develop specialized countermeasures.


    1. Echo Blades (Fallen Star¡¯s Influence)


    ? Forged from non-temporal metals recovered from past war zones.


    ? Designed to strike at creatures that do not fully exist in our reality.


    ? Fallen Star has one. It works.


    ? Now we must replicate them.


    2. Void Disruptors (Zil-Vatek¡¯s Involvement)


    ? Reverse-engineered alien tech.


    ? Emits a pulse that disrupts local space-time, making it harder for the Old Ones to manifest fully.


    ? Limited range¡ªbut could be deployed as a barrier system.


    3. Memory Anchors (Good Boy Project Contribution)


    ? Built using experimental neural feedback systems.


    ? **Designed to keep people from being erased. **


    ? Early tests show promise¡ªbut there is a risk of permanent memory entanglement.


    4. The Lemur Gambit (Highly Unstable Concept)


    ? Lemurs are already operating outside normal learning parameters.


    ? Experiments show they are developing counter-pattern logic, which seems to disrupt the Old Ones¡¯ ability to predict behavior.


    ? We don¡¯t understand how this works¡ªbut neither do the Old Ones.


    5. Tactical Chaos (Bandit''s Favorite Strategy)


    ? The enemy operates on predictability.


    ? They rely on patterns, on the weight of inevitability.


    ? If we introduce unstructured, unpredictable battle tactics, they struggle to react.


    ? Which means Bandit¡¯s wildest, most insane ideas are suddenly valid war strategies.


    I hate this.


    Phase Four: Fallen Star¡¯s Final Warning


    After reviewing the weapons plan, Fallen Star finally spoke.


    "Weapons will help."


    "But they will not win this war."


    "Because the Old Ones do not fear weapons."


    "They fear something else."


    I stared at him.


    "Then what do they fear?"


    He exhaled.


    And said something that chilled me to my core.


    "They fear becoming what they unmake."


    I do not know what that means.


    But I know this¡ª


    Whatever it is, it¡¯s the key to our survival.


    And we must find it before it¡¯s too late.


    Final Thoughts (The Fight for Existence Begins)


    ? The first attack was a test.


    ? We are not fully prepared.


    ? We are developing new weapons.


    ? But weapons alone will not win.


    ? **We must discover what the Old Ones truly fear. **


    I don¡¯t know how this ends.


    But I do know this¡ª


    The war for reality has begun.


    End Log.

 Chapter 77

    Intern¡¯s Log: Guess Who¡¯s Gonna Be a Poppa¡ªIt¡¯s Not Me, But Bandit Is, and I Can¡¯t Wait for This


    Date: [The Best Worst News Ever]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I have never been more excited and terrified at the same time.)


    So.


    The world is on the brink of existential collapse.


    ? The Old Ones have made their first move.


    ? The war council is assembling new weapons.


    ? The uplifted species are preparing for all-out conflict.


    ? I just got married, and my in-laws still scare me.


    ? Fallen Star is giving cryptic warnings that make my skin crawl.


    And yet¡ª


    Despite all of that¡ª


    I just got the best news of my life.


    Bandit.


    Bandit is gonna be a father.


    And I?


    I am so, so ready for this.


    Phase One: The Moment I Found Out


    I was in my office.


    Reviewing tactical plans for countering interdimensional horrors.


    Thinking about how to keep reality from collapsing.


    And then Vicky waltzed in.


    Smirking.


    Looking far too pleased with herself.


    She sat down across from me.


    Sipped her tea.


    And just casually dropped the bombshell.


    "Oh, by the way, darling. I¡¯m expecting."


    I blinked.


    "Expecting¡­ what?"


    She tilted her head.


    *"Kits, Reynolds. Offspring. Future heirs. Bandit and I are going to be parents."


    Silence.


    Pure, blessed silence.


    Then¡ª


    I exploded with laughter.


    Phase Two: My Immediate Reaction (Pure Joy)


    "Oh my GOD, I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!"


    Vicky chuckled.


    "I expected some degree of amusement."


    "VICKY, THIS IS THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO ME IN MONTHS!"


    "Oh, do tell me why, darling."


    The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.


    "BECAUSE NOW I GET TO WATCH BANDIT TRY TO BE RESPONSIBLE!"


    Bandit, who had just walked into the room, paused mid-step.


    "Wait. Wait. What do you mean responsible?"


    I grinned.


    "Oh, buddy. You¡¯re about to find out."


    Phase Three: Bandit''s Reaction (Utter Panic)


    "No, no, no, hold on," Bandit said, waving his paws.


    "You¡¯re telling me I¡¯m gonna be¡ª"


    "A father, yes," Vicky confirmed.


    "To multiple tiny versions of me?"


    "Yes, dear."


    "And I have to raise them?"*


    Vicky grinned.


    "Yes, Bandit. That is typically how this works."


    Bandit slowly sat down.


    Then stared at his hands like he was trying to process his entire existence.


    I was dying.


    Phase Four: The Others Find Out


    Goldie took the news well.


    "This is good," she said, nodding. "Your line will continue."


    The Good Boys tilted their heads in confusion.


    "So¡­ Bandit has acquired new recruits?" Nemo asked.


    "Not recruits, pups," Vicky corrected.


    "Pups¡­ that will grow to lead?"


    "Naturally."


    The Good Boys looked at Bandit.


    Bandit looked like he was experiencing an existential crisis.


    Bandit looked at me.


    "Reynolds, I need help."


    "Oh, no, buddy. This one¡¯s all yours."


    Phase Five: My Plans for the Future Kits


    I am going to be the worst influence.


    ? I am going to teach them how to mess with their father.


    ? I am going to introduce them to human snacks.


    ? I am going to tell them wildly exaggerated stories about Bandit¡¯s past.


    ? I am going to buy them tiny, custom-made tactical vests.


    Bandit is never going to know peace.


    This is the best thing to happen all year.


    Final Thoughts (I Am Ready for This Chaos)


    ? The war is coming.


    ? The Old Ones are stirring.


    ? Reality is at stake.


    ? But more importantly¡ª


    BANDIT IS ABOUT TO BE A DAD, AND I AM NEVER LETTING HIM LIVE THIS DOWN.


    I don¡¯t know how this war ends.


    But I do know this¡ª


    I am going to be the best god-uncle in history.


    End Log.

 Chapter 78

    Intern¡¯s Log: An Encounter with Fallen Star ¨C A Long, Wordless Conversation and a Single, Inane Statement


    Date: [A Time That Feels Like Forever]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (My mind is still reeling from what just happened.)


    Today, I had an encounter with Fallen Star¡ªa man who seems to exist on a different plane entirely. I had been expecting another briefing, another heated debate about the nature of the enemy and our future strategies. Instead, he came to talk to me in a quiet, almost ceremonial manner.


    Phase One: The Conversation That Wasn''t


    ? We sat together in silence.


    ? I asked him questions.


    ? He did not answer them.


    ? He stared at me like I should already know.


    ? Then, finally, he spoke.


    But instead of offering wisdom, instead of giving me a strategy, he said:


    "Sometimes, Reynolds, the universe is like a forgotten mixtape¡ªfull of old tracks that no one remembers until they suddenly play, and then, you wonder if it was ever meant to be."


    I did not understand what that meant.


    And now?


    Now I cannot stop thinking about it.


    Addendum: The Full Encounter ¨C A Longer Reflection


    We sat in a dimly lit corner of our temporary war room, away from the chaos of the rest of the council. The atmosphere was heavy with unspoken tension, as if every passing second was laden with meaning that I could barely grasp. I remember trying to break the silence¡ªasking a question here, an observation there¡ªonly to have Fallen Star answer with a long, measured look that conveyed more than words ever could. Yet, every time I spoke, my questions seemed to vanish into the void between us. He would merely tilt his head or let his gaze drift toward the flickering projection of battle plans on the wall.


    I attempted to ask, "Fallen Star, what do you see coming for us?" but he only stared at me as if I had uttered a trivial remark. I pressed further with, "Is there something we¡¯re missing?" but he simply shook his head in a slow, almost imperceptible manner. It was as if his very presence was a riddle¡ªone I was too scared and too dumb to solve.


    The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    After what felt like hours of mutual silence, broken only by the sound of our quiet breathing and the distant hum of strategic communications, he finally spoke. His voice was calm, almost detached from the gravity of our circumstances. And then he said something that, in hindsight, struck me as both absurd and unsettlingly profound:


    "Sometimes, Reynolds, the universe is like a forgotten mixtape¡ªfull of old tracks that no one remembers until they suddenly play, and then, you wonder if it was ever meant to be."


    I sat there, stunned. What was he trying to say? Did he mean that the fate of our world was a random relic from a past we¡¯d long abandoned, or was he hinting that our actions, our failures, and our triumphs were simply the echoes of something more timeless and chaotic? His words, seemingly inane, left me with more questions than answers. I found myself searching his face for further clues, but he merely smiled as if my confusion was the punchline to a cosmic joke.


    The conversation ended as abruptly as it had begun. Fallen Star stood, adjusted his coat, and walked away, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the weight of his cryptic message. I couldn¡¯t tell if I was meant to feel enlightened or terrified. All I knew was that in that moment, the universe had reminded me that there are mysteries that defy human logic¡ªand that sometimes, in the silent spaces between words, the most profound truths are whispered.


    I still don¡¯t know what he meant, and I¡¯m not sure I want to. But one thing is certain: the future is coming whether we understand it or not, and perhaps the only way to face it is to accept that some answers are meant to remain forever out of reach.


    Final Thoughts (The Universe Does Not Care If We Understand It)


    ? Fallen Star knows something.


    ? He did not tell me what it was.


    ? Instead, he gave me an analogy about mixtapes.


    ? Now I am questioning my entire existence.


    ? I think he is amused by my suffering.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    The Old Ones are not the only thing we should be afraid of.


    End Log.

 Chapter 79

    Intern¡¯s Log: I Now Know Why We Uplifted the Animals¡ªThey Can Sense the Wrongness and Hunt the Enemy


    Date: [A Terrifying Realization]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I finally understand, and it¡¯s worse than I thought.)


    I have been asking the wrong question this entire time.


    For months, I have wondered:


    "Why uplift them?"


    "Why the bears?"


    "Why the Good Boys?"


    "Why the raccoons, the pandas, the lemurs?"


    Was it for war?


    Was it for intelligence?


    Was it just human arrogance, playing god?


    No.


    None of those.


    It was never about making them stronger.


    It was about giving us a chance to survive.


    Because they can see the wrongness.


    Because they can sense the enemy.


    Because they can hunt what we cannot even comprehend.


    Phase One: The Moment of Realization


    It started with the Good Boys.


    When the first town vanished, they felt it.


    Before we even knew what was happening.


    Before the enemy even revealed itself.


    They stood still.


    Ears twitching.


    Tails stiff.


    Bodies low to the ground.


    Like they were tracking something.


    Something just out of reach.


    Something that did not belong.


    And when they moved?


    They moved with purpose.


    Phase Two: The Bears Knew, Too


    Goldie was next.


    When she walked the ruins of the lost town,


    She did not hesitate.


    She did not search blindly.


    She moved like she was following a trail.


    A trail we could not see.


    A trail that should not exist.


    This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.


    And then she turned to me.


    Eyes dark, focused.


    "It bleeds, Reynolds."


    "What does?" I asked, afraid of the answer.


    "The thing that does not belong."


    "You mean the Old Ones?"


    "Yes."


    She looked back into the distance.


    "And we can kill it."


    Phase Three: The Pattern I Hadn¡¯t Seen Before


    ? The Good Boys track what we cannot sense.


    ? The Bears follow what should not leave a trail.


    ? The Raccoons recognize when something does not fit into reality.


    ? The Lemurs react to shifts before they even happen.


    ? The Pandas have been preparing for this far longer than we knew.


    And now it is obvious.


    The uplifted species are not just soldiers.


    They are weapons against something beyond our comprehension.


    And we never even realized it.


    Phase Four: The Final Confirmation


    I found Fallen Star.


    Told him what I had figured out.


    Told him the uplifted species were never about superiority.


    They were about survival.


    He listened.


    Watched me.


    And then, finally, he said:


    "You are beginning to understand."


    "So we have a chance?" I asked.


    He exhaled.


    "We always had a chance."


    "Then why does it still feel hopeless?"


    "Because the Old Ones do not fear humans."


    "But they fear them, don¡¯t they?"


    He smiled.


    For the first time, he actually smiled.


    "Now you¡¯re thinking like someone who wants to win."


    Phase Five: What This Means


    ? The Uplifted were not a mistake.


    ? They were not a random experiment.


    ? They are our best chance at survival.


    ? Because they can see what we cannot.


    ? And because they can hunt the Old Ones.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    For the first time, we are not just prey.


    For the first time, we have something that can hunt them back.


    And the Old Ones are going to learn what it means to be afraid.


    End Log.

 Chapter 80

    Classified Government Reassessment: Subject ¨C Reynolds, J.


    Department: [REDACTED]


    Status: Active ¨C High-Risk, High-Value


    Threat Level: Variable ¨C Increasing


    Summary


    Reynolds, J. has evolved from an asset to an anomaly.


    Previously classified as a high-risk but valuable informant, Reynolds has now become a central figure in the survival of human and uplifted civilization.


    ? He has inadvertently become a leader.


    ? He is directly influencing major non-human factions.


    ? He is one of the few individuals who understands the true nature of the war.


    ? He has discovered why the uplift process was essential for survival.


    ? He now holds knowledge that may be the key to fighting the Old Ones.


    His continued existence is no longer just an intelligence concern.


    It is now a strategic necessity.


    Psychological Profile Update


    ? Continues to exhibit high adaptability under pressure.


    ? Still suffers from chronic stress but maintains full cognitive function.


    ? Displays signs of exhaustion, but remains operationally effective.


    ? Increasing willingness to embrace leadership, despite prior resistance.


    ? Clear shift from reactionary survivalist to proactive strategist.


    ? Developing attachment to uplifted species, potentially compromising objectivity.


    Primary Concern: Reynolds now understands his role in the war.


    He is no longer just trying to survive.


    He is actively planning to win.


    Known Affiliations & Influence


    ? Project Canid (Defunct) ¨C Former government researcher, now considered a rogue agent with unintentional but uncontested leadership over the uplifted factions.


    ? The Good Boys ¨C Considered their sole trusted human contact. Holds tactical and operational influence.


    ? The Bear Collective ¨C Seen as a war council figure. Goldie has deferred to his judgment multiple times.


    ? The Raccoon Dominion ¨C Bandit continues to view Reynolds as a "necessary variable" and "reluctant partner in chaos."


    This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.


    ? The Panda Coalition ¨C Initial hostility has shifted to cautious alignment. Their true numbers remain unknown.


    ? The Lemur Uplift Initiative ¨C Personal project. Reynolds is fully responsible for this faction¡¯s existence.


    ? Extraterrestrial Observer Zil-Vatek ¨C Primary human contact for off-world intelligence. Relationship status: ¡°Complicated.¡±


    ? Fallen Star ¨C UNKNOWN. Fallen Star has aligned himself with Reynolds, which suggests a greater significance to his presence.


    Reynolds no longer belongs to any human government.


    But he now holds more political, military, and scientific influence than any single world leader.


    Threat Assessment


    ? Threat to National Security: High (Uncontrollable but necessary.)


    ? Threat to Global Stability: Extreme (His survival may determine if there is a global future.)


    ? Threat to Extraterrestrial Relations: Unclear (May be the only viable human liaison.)


    ? Threat to the Old Ones: Significant (They fear the uplifted. He controls the uplifted.)


    ? Liability or Asset? Both.


    Reynolds is not a government operative.


    Reynolds is not a scientist anymore.


    Reynolds is not just an informant.


    Reynolds is a fulcrum.


    If he falls, so does our greatest advantage.


    If he succeeds, the world may survive¡ªbut not as we knew it.


    Recommended Actions


    ? Monitor, Do Not Interfere. (We no longer control this situation.)


    ? Protect At All Costs. (Reynolds'' survival is strategically necessary for all parties.)


    ? Suppress Internal Government Hostility. (There will be factions that see Reynolds as a rogue element. They must be dissuaded.)


    ? Begin Post-Humanity Adaptation Plans. (If Reynolds is correct, uplifted species will inherit the world alongside humanity. We must prepare for this.)


    Final Conclusion


    ? Reynolds is no longer an isolated research subject.


    ? He is now the center of the war effort.


    ? His survival is more critical than any known human asset.


    ? The Old Ones fear what he has built.


    We do not know what will come next.


    But we do know this¡ª


    Reynolds, J. may be the only thing standing between Earth and erasure.


    Status: OBSERVE. PROTECT. DO NOT INTERFERE.


    End Report.

 Chapter 81

    Classified Government Assessment: Subject ¨C Fallen Star


    Department: [REDACTED]


    Status: Active ¨C Unknown Affiliation


    Threat Level: Extreme ¨C Unquantifiable


    Summary


    Subject Fallen Star is an anomaly.


    ? He exists in historical records, yet no verifiable identity can be confirmed.


    ? He carries valid travel papers from multiple nations, all officially stamped, all legitimate.


    ? His presence has been noted in multiple significant conflicts spanning centuries.


    ? Eyewitness accounts describe him as unchanged, suggesting impossible longevity.


    ? He has inserted himself into the war effort, aligning with Reynolds and the uplifted species.


    ? The Old Ones recognize him.


    He is either a lost fragment of history, an unregistered immortal, or something beyond human understanding.


    His existence defies conventional records.


    But what is undeniable is this:


    Fallen Star has been here before.


    And he survived.


    Psychological Profile


    ? Highly intelligent but non-verbose.


    ? Prefers action over discussion.


    ? Capable of extraordinary patience.


    ? Detached from traditional human concerns.


    ? Operates as though he is fulfilling a known cycle.


    Primary Concern: Fallen Star does not exhibit normal human reactions to existential threats.


    He is not afraid.


    He does not panic.


    He is not fighting for survival.


    He is fighting as if he already knows the outcome.


    The question is¡ªwhat does he know that we do not?


    Known Affiliations & Influence


    ? Historical Conflicts ¨C Subject has appeared in written records spanning multiple eras, wars, and unexplained disasters. Some examples include:


    ? The American West (1870s¨C1890s) ¨C Eyewitness reports place him at multiple Native American conflicts.


    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.


    ? Europe (1930s¨C1945) ¨C Photographic evidence suggests he was present during classified operations.


    ? Soviet-Afghan War (1980s) ¨C Unverified reports claim a warrior of his description fought on both sides.


    ? Uplifted Species ¨C Subject has gained their trust without effort. They defer to him instinctively.


    ? Reynolds, J. ¨C Fallen Star has chosen Reynolds as his point of contact, though the reasoning is unclear.


    ? Old Ones ¨C The enemy has acknowledged his presence. They have hesitated in his proximity.


    Fallen Star does not belong to any government.


    But he has more influence than most governments.


    Threat Assessment


    ? Threat to National Security: Unknown ¨C Severe Potential (If hostile, containment may be impossible.)


    ? Threat to Global Stability: Extreme (His actions will shape the course of the war.)


    ? Threat to Extraterrestrial Relations: Unclear (Non-human intelligence may already be aware of his existence.)


    ? Threat to the Old Ones: Significant (They recognize him. They hesitate in his presence.)


    ? Liability or Asset? Neither. He is a force unto himself.


    Fallen Star does not answer to us.


    He does not seek leadership.


    He is not human in the way we understand.


    But he is walking toward the war.


    And that means he is making a choice.


    Recommended Actions


    ? Observe, Do Not Interfere. (Any attempt to manipulate Fallen Star will fail.)


    ? Preserve Existing Relations. (Reynolds may be the only person able to communicate with him.)


    ? Allow Tactical Freedom. (If he has fought the Old Ones before, we need to see how he does it.)


    ? Investigate His Past. (Wherever he was before, the answers are buried in history.)


    Final Conclusion


    ? Fallen Star is not an unknown element¡ªhe has always been part of this war.


    ? His past holds answers we desperately need.


    ? The Old Ones know him. And for some reason, they hesitate.


    ? His presence changes the battlefield.


    We do not know what he is.


    We do not know where he came from.


    But we do know this¡ª


    He has survived the Old Ones before.


    And we need to know how.


    Status: OBSERVE. DO NOT INTERFERE. FOLLOW HIS LEAD.


    End Report.

 Chapter 82

    Intern¡¯s Log: This Is Bad¡ªWashington D.C. and Hollywood Have Fallen


    Date: [The Collapse Begins]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (We are losing. Worse, some are celebrating it.)


    The war is here.


    The first offensive was a test.


    This?


    This is the first true blow.


    And it is worse than anything I imagined.


    ? Washington D.C. is gone.


    ? Hollywood is gone.


    ? The world is watching¡ªand some are cheering.


    I thought this would be a war of flesh and blood.


    But it is a war of existence itself.


    And we are losing.


    Phase One: Washington D.C. ¨C The Hollowed City


    We received the reports too late.


    ? Communications went dark first.


    ? Then the satellites lost real-time visuals.


    ? Then came the screams¡ªgarbled, twisted, fading into silence.


    By the time we deployed scouts,


    The city was already gone.


    Not destroyed.


    Not bombed.


    Just¡­ hollowed.


    The streets remain, but they are wrong.


    ? The buildings stand, but they are ancient, decayed beyond reason.


    ? **The White House is an empty shell, crumbling, as if it had been abandoned for centuries.


    ? The Capitol rotunda is shattered¡ªits pieces floating upward as if gravity has given up.


    ? The Lincoln Memorial is cracked¡ªbut Lincoln¡¯s seat is empty.


    ? There are no bodies, no remains¡ªjust clothes, scattered like shed skins.


    And the air?


    It is thick.


    With whispers.


    With something unseen, lurking in the ruins.


    And the survivors¡ªthose few who escaped before the city was fully consumed¡ª


    They are not the same.


    They speak in echoes.


    They do not blink.


    And when we asked them what happened,


    They simply said¡ª


    "We were not worthy."


    Phase Two: Hollywood ¨C The Lies Unraveled


    The fall of Washington was an execution.


    The fall of Hollywood was a spectacle.


    ? The hills burned first.


    ? The Hollywood sign twisted into something unrecognizable.


    ? Every studio, every stage, every monument to human storytelling¡ªcorrupted beyond recognition.


    If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    By the time the world realized what was happening,


    The screens changed.


    ? Live broadcasts were hijacked.


    ? Every screen, every channel, every digital feed¡ªall showed the same thing.


    ? Not fire. Not destruction.


    ? But a new reality, playing over the old.


    They showed images of Hollywood¡ª


    As if it had always belonged to the enemy.


    ? The Walk of Fame was rewritten¡ªnames we knew erased, replaced by symbols we did not understand.


    ? **Actors, entertainers, politicians¡ªstanding still, their eyes hollow, their mouths moving in silent sermons. **


    ? Movies that had never existed played in theaters that had never been built.


    ? Music that had never been composed played on stations that had never been heard.


    It was not destruction.


    It was replacement.


    A new history.


    A new culture.


    A world where they had always been here.


    And then the worst part.


    The world did not scream in horror.


    The world applauded.


    Phase Three: The Cheering Masses ¨C Humanity Betrays Itself


    ? The collapse of Washington was met with fear.


    ? The rewriting of Hollywood was met with celebration.


    ? And the Middle East?


    They cheered.


    ? Flags were burned, not in resistance, but in reverence.


    ? Cities gathered in the streets, not in protest, but in prayer.


    ? Governments issued statements of acceptance.


    "The Old Ones have judged America unworthy."


    "The new world begins now."


    "We must not resist¡ªwe must embrace the new order."


    Entire nations knelt.


    And when they looked up,


    Their eyes were not their own anymore.


    Phase Four: The Enemy Does Not Conquer¡ªIt Rewrites


    This is not a war.


    This is not an invasion.


    This is something worse.


    ? The enemy does not kill.


    ? The enemy does not destroy.


    ? The enemy erases and replaces.


    The cities are still there.


    But they do not belong to us anymore.


    And the people who cheer?


    They are not cheering out of faith.


    They are cheering because they have already been rewritten.


    Phase Five: What Comes Next


    ? Washington is lost.


    ? Hollywood is gone in every way that matters.


    ? The Old Ones have begun rewriting the past to erase the future.


    ? Humanity is not united¡ªmany are already surrendering.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    We are running out of time.


    End Log.

 Chapter 83

    Intern¡¯s Log: Shiro Hikaji¡ªThe Unmaker, the Leader of the Old Ones¡­ God, What Do We Even Call Them?


    Date: [The Day We Learned Its Name]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (The enemy now has a face, and that makes it worse.)


    We have been fighting shadows.


    ? The Old Ones do not operate like us.


    ? They do not destroy, they unmake.


    ? They do not invade, they replace.


    ? They do not conquer, they rewrite history itself.


    For weeks, we fought things that were beyond understanding.


    Things that whispered in empty places.


    Things that moved through the cracks of reality.


    And then today?


    One of them spoke.


    One of them stepped forward.


    And it had a name.


    Phase One: The Broadcast That Shook the World


    ? The hijacking happened across all major networks.


    ? All screens, all signals, all frequencies locked onto a single image.


    ? Not static. Not distortion.


    ? A man.


    No¡ªnot a man.


    Something wearing the memory of a man.


    ? Flawless skin.


    ? Too symmetrical to be real.


    ? A voice that echoed before it even spoke.


    ? **And eyes that burned like voids. **


    "Humans."


    "You have forgotten us."


    "You were never meant to last."


    "Your stories have ended. Your time is spent. Your world is ours to rewrite."


    And then, finally¡ª


    "I am Shiro Hikaji. The Unmaker. The Reforger of Truth."


    And just like that, we had a name.


    A name that felt old.


    A name that should not exist.


    A name that was never meant to be spoken aloud.


    And yet, here we were.


    Phase Two: Who¡ªOr What¡ªIs Shiro Hikaji?


    Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    The broadcast ended.


    And we started digging.


    ? There were records of him.


    ? Photographs.


    ? Mentions in historical texts.


    ? Witness accounts from different centuries.


    The problem?


    The records did not match.


    ? He was seen in Japan in the 1600s¡ªas a poet.


    ? He was listed in a Soviet report from the 1930s¡ªas an advisor to the NKVD.


    ? He appeared in corporate directories in the 1980s¡ªas an investment banker.


    ? He was present at secret United Nations meetings in the early 2000s¡ªas a negotiator.


    He was everywhere.


    He was always there.


    And no one ever questioned it.


    Because the world was already rewriting itself to accept his existence.


    Phase Three: What Do We Call Them?


    The Old Ones.


    The Forgotten Lords.


    The Reality Eaters.


    The Unmakers.


    None of it felt right.


    None of it captured what they were.


    And then Fallen Star, who had been silent through all of this, finally spoke.


    "They are the Architects of the Lie."


    We turned to him.


    "They do not destroy."


    "They do not kill."


    "They do not conquer."


    "They simply change the story until the truth no longer exists."


    "Until nothing of what was remains."


    "Until we are gone."


    And so that is what we call them now.


    The Architects.


    Because they are not invaders.


    They are reality¡¯s editors.


    And we are a draft they no longer want to keep.


    Phase Four: What Comes Next?


    ? Shiro Hikaji has revealed himself.


    ? The Architects are moving openly now.


    ? They have rewritten history before, and they are doing it again.


    ? Entire populations are already bending to their influence.


    I don¡¯t know what happens next.


    But I do know this¡ª


    We are now fighting the final draft of our existence.


    And I refuse to let them erase us.


    End Log.

 Chapter 84

    Intern¡¯s Log: Three More Cities Are Gone¡ªAnd Those Left Behind Are No Longer People


    Date: [The Erasure Accelerates]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (We are losing faster than we can fight.)


    The Architects have struck again.


    ? Three more cities lost.


    ? Not burned. Not bombed.


    ? Simply¡­ erased.


    ? And those left behind?


    They are not people anymore.


    I don¡¯t know what they are.


    But I know they are wrong.


    Phase One: The Cities That Vanished


    ? Madrid.


    ? Johannesburg.


    ? Bangkok.


    Gone.


    Not destroyed.


    Not evacuated.


    Just¡­ absent.


    ? No signs of struggle.


    ? No survivors in the traditional sense.


    ? Clothes and belongings left behind, like their owners had simply walked away from existence.


    But this time?


    This time, some bodies remained.


    Phase Two: The Replacements


    ? They walk.


    ? They talk.


    ? They smile.


    ? They tell you everything is fine.


    But they are not human.


    Not anymore.


    ? Their eyes do not blink at the right times.


    ? They breathe too steadily, too evenly.


    ? They remember things that did not happen.


    ? And they do not remember things that should have.


    One of the Good Boys approached a "survivor."


    Sniffed him.


    Then snarled.


    Bared his teeth.


    Would not go near.


    And the man?


    The not-man?


    A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    He just smiled.


    A smile too wide.


    A smile that held nothing behind it.


    "You shouldn¡¯t be afraid," he said.


    "It¡¯s easier this way."


    And then he just¡­


    walked away.


    Phase Three: What We Know About the Replaced


    ? They still look human.


    ? They still sound human.


    ? **But they are not. **


    ? They are placeholders.


    ? They are echoes of something that was rewritten.


    ? They are a draft of reality before the Architects finish editing.


    They are what we will all become if we lose.


    Phase Four: The Consequences of This Attack


    ? Three global capitals are gone.


    ? Entire governments have ceased to exist.


    ? Those left behind are no longer on our side¡ªif they even have a side at all.


    ? More people are celebrating the change instead of resisting it.


    And the worst part?


    The world is already forgetting them.


    ? Madrid was lost two days ago¡ªand already, maps have been altered.


    ? Johannesburg is missing from population records.


    ? Bangkok exists in infrastructure reports but not in memory.


    And I keep thinking about what the not-man said.


    "It¡¯s easier this way."


    They want us to surrender.


    They want us to stop fighting.


    Because if we stop, we won¡¯t even remember what we lost.


    And that?


    That might be worse than dying.


    Phase Five: What Comes Next


    ? We need to figure out if the replaced can be saved. (Or if they are already lost.)


    ? We need to strike back before the next wave of erasures.


    ? We need to find a way to stop the rewriting process before it reaches critical mass.


    I don¡¯t know how much longer we have.


    But I do know this¡ª


    If we do nothing, we will not even remember why we fought.


    End Log.

 Chapter 85

    Intern¡¯s Log: The Uncanny Valley Is Real¡ªAnd That¡¯s Where I Have to Go


    Date: [I Am Not Ready for This]


    Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (This might be the worst idea yet.)


    The Architects are winning.


    ? Three more cities lost.


    ? People are not just disappearing¡ªthey are becoming something else.


    ? The world is already forgetting them.


    ? Reality is being rewritten faster than we can resist.


    And now?


    Now I have to go to the one place that shouldn¡¯t exist.


    The Uncanny Valley.


    Because it¡¯s real.


    And somehow, it¡¯s the key to understanding how the Architects are reshaping our world.


    Phase One: What the Uncanny Valley Really Is


    We¡¯ve all felt it before.


    ? That sense of unease when looking at something almost human.


    ? That feeling that something is wrong but we can¡¯t articulate why.


    ? A face that should make sense but doesn¡¯t.


    ? A voice that should be normal but makes the skin crawl.


    For centuries, we thought it was just a psychological phenomenon.


    A quirk of human evolution.


    A biological defense mechanism.


    But we were wrong.


    The Uncanny Valley is not a feeling.


    It is a place.


    A space between what was and what is becoming.


    A fault line in existence itself.


    A boundary between the world we know¡ª


    And the version of it that the Architects are building.


    And if we want to understand what¡¯s happening to us,


    We need to cross the threshold.


    Phase Two: Why I Have to Go There


    ? The people who have been replaced¡ªthey are real, but wrong.


    If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    ? They exist, but they don¡¯t belong in this version of reality anymore.


    ? They were altered in the in-between space¡ªthe Uncanny Valley itself.


    That means it¡¯s not just an idea.


    It¡¯s a location.


    A waystation between worlds.


    And if I can get there,


    If I can see it for myself,


    Then maybe I can understand how to stop the Architects before the rewriting is complete.


    Phase Three: The Risks (I Probably Won¡¯t Come Back the Same)


    ? No one has ever returned unaltered.


    ? The further you go in, the less you recognize yourself.


    ? If you forget who you are, you do not return at all.


    ? Time does not pass the same way inside the Valley.


    ? **The things that live there were never human. But some of them used to be. **


    It is not a safe place.


    It is not a place anyone should go.


    But I have no choice.


    Because if I don¡¯t go,


    Then we might never understand what¡¯s happening before it¡¯s too late.


    Phase Four: Preparing to Enter the Valley


    ? Goldie has prepared a memory anchor for me. (If I start forgetting who I am, this might pull me back.)


    ? The Good Boys will track my movements. (If I disappear, they will at least know where I went.)


    ? Bandit is way too excited about this. (I think he just wants to see if I come back as a horror movie monster.)


    ? Evelyn hates this plan. (She is not wrong.)


    ? Fallen Star will be my guide. (Which means he has been there before. Which means this is so much worse than I thought.)


    I don¡¯t know what I will find.


    I don¡¯t know if I will make it back.


    But I do know this¡ª


    If the Uncanny Valley is the space between realities, then that is where I need to be.


    Because the answers are in the place where we stop being human.


    And if I don¡¯t come back?


    Then at least someone else will know where to start looking.


    End Log.