《A Quiet Walk》 Chapter 1 ¡°If you make friends with yourself, then you¡¯ll never be alone¡± Ryan muttered the words painted on his walls to himself. With a practiced smile, he willed himself out of bed and into the living room space where his smile morphed into a frown when there was no brunet brewing a midnight coffee. He stood dazed for a moment before he noticed the noisy car horns of busy streets or rather lack of said noise, and it was then he recalled having an episode the previous day which led to him dashing into his car and driving to his beach house. With a sigh, he looked up at the wall clock confirming the time was just a few minutes past 4 a.m. making him immediately wish Armand was there. The brunet would have stayed up with Ryan and sang to him with his voice that could make the angels jealous till he fell back asleep. He dragged himself back to the bedroom. Armand had given Ryan the idea of getting a place outside the city, away from the city noise and pollution, to serve as an escape-safe-space whenever he felt overwhelmed or had an episode; so a house on a quiet, rarely visited beach, positioned to have a perfect view of the water, just by looking out any of the windows seemed like the best option, and of course this was to be expected since it was cause Armand himself who had personally picked it out. It worked great the first year and half, but now, just like every form of therapy Ryan had tried, it wasn¡¯t working the same wonders. His brain chemicals, taken by surprise at first, have now adapted to the ¡®treatment¡¯. But given the view it held, Ryan still visited. A lot of times Ryan looked back and wondered how he ever survived for so long before Armand came into his life. He stared back up at the painted words on his wall ¡®if you make friends with yourself, then you¡¯ll never be alone¡¯ Armand had said those words to Ryan during their first sessions roughly 3 years ago and Ryan, though it was one of the weirdly accurate things he had ever heard, except when considering Ryan¡¯s issues, might have a whole new level of meaning. Confirming from the flash of the neon light from the digital clock on his nightstand that only 7 minutes had passed since he last checked the time, he realized he had a long night ahead of him, and he really wanted to hear Armand¡¯s voice, but, of course, he couldn¡¯t, cause, being Ryan he forgot his cellphone in his hurried frenzy to leave the house. Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road. Time rolled by painfully slowly for the dark-haired man with only jenga to keep himself busy with and a can of soda, which, after drinking, he headed back to his bedroom because there is only so much time you can play jenga alone before you get bored out of your mind. He faced the ceiling, shutting his eyes, hoping by some miracle that sleep would finally take over. The sun still refused to rear its head and deciding he could no longer handle the boredom, Ryan did the only thing he could do in the middle of the night while stuck at a beach house with no cellphone or his favorite human being. In a white shirt over a pair of black slacks and no shoes and a black coat, he headed down to the beach. It was empty as expected, which was a win-win situation. It was quiet, and the air was fresh, not to talk of the calming sound of the ocean and the way it looked surreal with the moon casting its lights down on it, and it also meant he was alone with his thoughts to think about it rationally. He quietly walked along the shore of the waters with his mind all over the place not thinking about anything specifically, and that was when he saw it. Something lying in the sand caught his eyes. He quickened his pace as fast as one could in the sands. He got closer, realizing it was big and black. Perhaps a dog with black fur. He finally stopped in shock as he stood before the black dog, which was definitely not a black dog. The black fur turned out to be a black gown and, needless to say, the dog was a human, a lady. Ryan paused in confusion, tilting his head to study her features. A brown pool of hair sprawled out around her head, dark closed eyelids with long dark lashes lapping over her pale cheek and dark lips in total contrast to her ghostly pale skin. Maybe the moonshine was playing tricks on him but, most importantly, a steady chest; there was no rise and fall to indicate breathing. He stared longer with eyes fixated on her chest waiting for even the slightest motion, and when he got none, it was logical for him to conclude she was dead except for the nagging at the back of his mind telling him perhaps she wasn¡¯t as dead as he assumed, and he could save her. With a groan, he got down on his knees and hoped he remembered how to give CPR since he never had to give one before. Chapter 2 ¡°What was that song again?¡± he mumbled to himself before slightly parting her lips with his hands, then breathing into her ¡°how deep is your love. How deep is your love¡± he said somewhere between singing and mumbling, pressing down on her chest with open palms with each ¡®deep¡¯ twice, then going back to breath into her parted lips. He did this four times before she suddenly coughed up water into his mouth, making him recoil and land on his butt in both disgust at the exchange of salt water and surprise (surprised it actually worked). He watched as she sat herself up spluttering and furiously coughing out the water in her lungs and taking in deep breaths. ¡°Hey err- h-how you feeling?¡± he reluctantly asked in a tiny voice. She paused, not expecting the voice, before turning her head to him. ¡°Who the hell are you?¡± she asked in a raspy voice before clearing her throat and glaring at him ¡°who are you¡± she repeated, her voice now smooth and, dare Ryan say, she sounded symphonic. ¡°The person who just saved you. You¡¯re welcome¡± he replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world. ¡°What the-¡± she looked behind her at the body of water, then back at the man beside her ¡°saved my life? Yeah, right¡± she chortled. ¡°Wha- so you think you just somehow got air back into your lungs?¡± he snapped. ¡°Well, maybe I didn¡¯t want to save you idiot¡± she murmured under her breath before looking back up at him with what Ryan could only describe as a crazy look in her eyes, ¡°besides who goes about kissing strangers at the beach at night without so much as saying ¡®hi¡¯ to them¡± ¡°Kiss?¡± he couldn¡¯t believe his ears. ¡°Lips-to- lips, your lips on mine. I believe that¡¯s how kisses work.¡± ¡°Wow, okay, I have nothing to say to you. The look in your eyes says it all.¡± ¡°And what is that supposed to mean?¡± ¡°It means you¡¯re crazy¡± he replied, getting up. ¡°Wait¡± she called out, making Ryan stand still. He wasn¡¯t really going anywhere. ¡°To answer your question, I drowned in a damn salty ocean, got washed up to the shores of only heaven knows where, and the cherry on top of the icing is, my rescuer isn¡¯t a hunk like in the movies, but a scrawny effeminate looking man. So how do you think I feel?¡± her voice getting louder as she continued. ¡°Oh really¡± he shot his brows up, taking the comment about his features to heart ¡°well, have a nice day ahead you ungrateful little piece of s-¡± ¡°What, you can¡¯t just leave me here?¡± she cut him off. ¡°Watch me¡±, he turned away. ¡°I don¡¯t know where the hell I am¡± she darted her head around her to prove her point. Ryan turned to her, ¡°Oh I¡¯m sorry, I thought you didn¡¯t want to be saved. Since this was apparently a suicide attempt, so how about you just swim back into the water, close your eyes and rest in peace.¡± He concluded, giving her a broad smile. This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there. ¡°Why would you say that to me?¡± she began tearing up, lips quavering ¡°you don¡¯t even know me and you¡¯re telling me to go kill myself. What are you, some high school bully?¡± she sniffed as a single tear fell. ¡°Why the hell are you crying? You¡¯re the one who said you didn¡¯t want to be saved.¡± ¡°It was a figure of speech¡± she snapped, sniffing. ¡°Figure of speech, what is it supposed to mean? Enlighten me¡± he yelled, not minding the eerie silence around them. ¡°I was just being dramatic, okay¡± she yelled back. ¡°Why would you do that? It makes no sense.¡± ¡°You make no sense¡± she weakly replied, then added ¡°I¡¯m a lady, being dramatic is my DNA¡±. She concluded by rolling her eyes. Well, that¡¯s definitely one more reason for Ryan to be gay. She stared at the sand as her crying died down. ¡°So now what?¡± she looked up at him. ¡°Now what?¡± he mimicked her. ¡°Are you seriously going to leave me here?¡± she asked, her eyes wide. ¡°Well-¡± ¡°I promise you I don¡¯t know where the hell I am. You have already rescued me, and leave me in the hands of-¡± ¡°Ugh fine¡± he cut her off. He rubbed his temples. ¡°This goes against a lot of my principles, but I guess you can stay at my place till daybreak, then we¡¯ll see what next.¡± ¡°Okay¡± she nodded before giving him a suspicious look, ¡°wait, you¡¯re not getting any ideas are you?¡± Okay, this lady is impossible. He thought to himself. ¡°I¡¯m not into crazy people.¡± he simply replied. ¡°Well, the feeling is mutual because I¡¯m not into effeminate-¡± ¡°Don¡¯t call me that,¡± he snapped. ¡°Delicate guys¡± she corrected with an eye roll ¡°with a stupid haircut¡± she quickly added. ¡°My haircut is just fine¡± he snapped. ¡°Do you believe everything your mother tells you?¡± she snorted. ¡°I am really regretting this already¡± he muttered to himself. ¡°Get up¡±. He lightly kicked her on the foot. ¡°I can¡¯t¡± she glared at him. ¡°What, you crippled?¡± ¡°No I am not.¡± ¡°Then get your ass up.¡± ¡°My body feels inhumanly heavy from floating for what I assume to be at least 20 hours and my legs feel dead¡± she laid back down on the sand to prove her point. ¡°So you can¡¯t feel them¡± he kicked her feet harder. ¡°Hey,¡± She snapped. ¡°They feel wobbly not that the cells there are dead.¡± ¡°You haven¡¯t even tried to get up yet.¡± ¡°It¡¯s my body and I know the mechanics of my body and right now I know what I feel.¡± ¡°Damn it, fine¡± he sighed. ¡°I¡¯m surprised you weren¡¯t pushed off a cliff or something¡±. He stooped down to pick her up. ¡°Ha-ha¡± she replied in a monotone, draping her arms round his neck ¡°but it¡¯s actually funny you should say that, because I was pushed off a cruise ship.¡± ¡°You¡¯re a bloody dead weight¡± he grunted. ¡°Oh, thanks. That is every girl¡¯s dream to be called ¡®heavy¡¯¡± she sarcastically replied. ¡°I will tell you all about the attempted murder after a nice hot bath and a cup of hot cocoa.¡± ¡°You know I¡¯m sure whoever pushed you had a good reason and I might just see why¡± ¡°That is very rude. You don¡¯t even know me.¡± ¡°First impression matters and, from I gather, you are a prick and a nut job.¡± She rolled her eyes at him. ¡°I want the hot cocoa in the tub just to be clear.¡± ¡°Just keep in mind that I can drop you and make sure you hit your damn head and make it look like a goddamn accident, OK¡±, he glared at her, imagining if he could pull off a move he saw in a movie once where a man broke another man in half by bending him over his knee. After what seemed to Ryan like an eternity, he finally arrived at the house where the two proceeded to argue, with the brown-haired lady insisting on Ryan carrying her to the bathroom. ¡°What, why did you stop?¡± she snapped her head at him. ¡°How do you propose you will take off your towel before I drop you in the tub?¡± ¡°Simple, I take it off¡± she replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world. ¡°No way¡± ¡°It¡¯s not like you¡¯ll care.¡± ¡°What was that?¡± ¡°You practically broke my gaydar¡± she scoffed, ¡°especially the decoration in here¡±. She rolled her eyes. ¡°I¡¯m bi for your information, okay-¡± he paused, realizing he had never got her name ¡°- your name.¡± ¡°Z¡± ¡°Is that short for something?¡± ¡°Just z¡± she replied with a lopsided smile. ¡°Okay ¡®just z¡¯ I¡¯m just going to place you in, take off the towel in the tub, I¡¯ve got a lot to spare¡± he immediately did as he said and headed out the door to silence her complaints. Chapter 3 This is wrong on so many levels.¡± declared Ryan with his eyes fixated on the ceiling, walking Z in his arms to the bedroom ¡°are you sure you¡¯re not crippled?¡± He paused so she could reach out and open the door. ¡°Now that you mentioned it, I think I can now feel my leg- oof¡± her statement was interrupted as he threw her on the bed. ¡°Good. Get dressed¡± he replied through gritted teeth and swiftly walked out. Ryan blankly stared at the fully decorated Christmas tree in front of him. Thinking back to when he and Armand decorated it. He wasn¡¯t having an episode then Armand just suggested it, saying even an escape space needed to look Christmassy. He smiled at the memory as he went to adjust a crocked porcelain dove. ¡°Who has an ugly decorated Christmas tree in the living room in the middle of April?¡± Z¡¯s voice came from behind immediately, making his smile morph into a scowl. Why was he keeping up with her bullshit again, he wondered. ¡°My boyfriend and I decorated this, so no, it¡¯s far from ugly. Besides, what do you know?¡± he added the last part shooting her a glare ¡°Is he sick?¡± she casually asked. Ryan furrowed his brows in confusion. ¡°Is he ill, mentally? She pressed on. Ryan frowned. ¡°What the hell is wrong with you?¡± ¡°I want to know if he¡¯s got some mental disorder like neurosis or psychosis so I could apologize for insulting his work.¡± she shrugged. ¡°Armand is perfectly fine¡± he snapped, ¡°Ar-Mand¡± she slowly spoke, as if trying the name on her tongue ¡°is his face as nice as his name?¡± she smiled at him. Ryan rolled his eyes, taking a seat under the tree, letting silence envelop them. ¡°I¡¯m bored¡±, Z finally declared after about a minute. ¡°hey you¡± she called Hey. ¡°It¡¯s Ryan¡± ¡°Well, Ryan, I¡¯m bored.¡± ¡°I heard you the first time¡± Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road. ¡°Well?¡± ¡°What am I supposed to-¡± he paused to look at the wall clock as an idea came to him. The time was just a few minutes until 12 noon. He wondered how time went so fast. Was time supposed to fly so fast if one found himself in the first level of hell with a second-class demon who wouldn¡¯t shut up. ¡°Come on, we¡¯re going out¡±, he said, grabbing his coat. ¡°Oh? where to¡± she beamed ¡°The station¡± ¡°Like hell we are¡± she yelled, retracing her steps ¡°I did nothing¡± she declared, then paused ¡°nothing you can prove - you can¡¯t right?¡± she quickly added the last part. Ryan stared at her with wide saucer eyes, beginning to question letting her into his house. ¡°I¡¯m just taking you to identify yourself or something. Just in case your relatives or friends declare you missing.¡± ¡°Oh¡± she breathed out ¡°I¡¯m cool with that.¡± ¡°Unless - they aren¡¯t the ones who tossed you into the ocean, are they?¡± ¡°I wasn¡¯t tossed, I was pushed¡± she ignored the question already heading for the door. They got into the convertible, Ryan drove around, but they never made it to the station, since Z got excited on seeing a seemingly empty fair, which after much debating, which included a lot of curse words and Z tackling Ryan to get a hold of the wheels, he caved (mostly out of love for his life) which is how they ended up on the Ferris wheel till the sun began to rear its head back into hiding. With a lazy yet satisfied smile on her face, she leaned back against the leather seat as Ryan drove back to the house. Pushing the door open, she made a straight line for the kitchen, coming out less than a minute later with a bottle of wine and two champagne glasses. ¡°Did you seriously go through my kitchen?¡± which reminded him he hadn¡¯t eaten anything other than the midnight soda, and he was surprisingly not hungry. And he assumes neither was z because he could bet she definitely have made that known. ¡°It¡¯s just wine. . It wasn¡¯t hard to find¡±. She sat next to Ryan on the arm of the sofa. ¡°Are you here to kill me or something¡± he blurted out. ¡°What?¡± she unscrewed the cork. ¡°You¡¯re acting way too familiar and comfortable in a stranger¡¯s house you just met with no intention of hooking up with.¡± ¡°First of all, it¡¯s almost been a day and secondly, you did save me¡± she handed him a glass, filling it up. ¡°so you can¡¯t be a murderer. Except you saved me so you could kill me yourself, which is unlikely¡± she concluded with a smile, taking a sip. ¡°Well, you could be a murderer¡± he stated. ¡°True. But if I wanted to kill you, you¡¯d be dead by now. So¡± ¡°Maybe you want to kill me right before you leave¡± he argued. ¡°Hmm, well, I guess we¡¯ll see¡± she winked. Z shot up from the floor, kicking over the now empty bottle in the process as she headed for the radio seated on the mantelpiece. ¡°I love this song¡± she smiled as the sound of the strumming of an acoustic guitar filled the room. ¡°Ryan, come dance with me¡±. She swayed sideways, staring at the dark-haired man with a lazy smile on her face. He paused for a while, a smile of his own as he watched her take a fist full of her gown to allow her better movement. With a wine-clouded mind, Ryan got up and wrapped an arm around her waist while hers snaked around his neck, both drunk-smiling at each other. She let her head lull back with her hair falling behind her. The song ended a while later, but the two continued swaying in one place with Z¡¯s head resting on Ryan¡¯s shoulders. ¡°Thanks for saving me¡± she whispered, as if afraid someone else might hear her. He smiled back even though she couldn¡¯t see.