《Guess I'll Play Healer》 Chapter 1 — The Blue Door A crossbow bolt lodged itself into my shoulder, punched right through the chainmail. What¡¯s the point of armor, if it can¡¯t stop a crossbow bolt? There were six of them. With just one of me, the math was easy ¡ª I was royally screwed. Let me back up. Let¡¯s get some context first. I am writing this after some time, so let me think. So, it¡¯s game night. I had my physical character sheet and dice in front of me. I must have just set my big gulp down. I adjusted my trilby. Yes I know it¡¯s cringe ¡ª and we¡¯ll address it in a moment. We were playing a Table-Top Role Playing Game, and it was our third session of the new campaign. I was excited to really dig into a night of slaying monsters, and playing pretend. Asher was behind his huge-ass dungeon master screen, a massive wooden triptych of a dragon that obscured him from his shoulders down. His hands kept flying over the top of it when he talked. He was a pretty good guy and ran a great game. Most everyone else had their dice, and their sheets on their phones. I guess I liked to keep it old school. ¡°Hey, Zachary, what the hell is that hat, man?¡± Bernadette asked. She was the newest, not even out of school yet, tiny, and from Kansas City. She seemed cute in a ¡®theater kid¡¯ kind of way with her black turtlenecks and big brown eyes. I don¡¯t know why, but she decided to sit next to me instead of Sofia, who brought her. She turned out to be a fantastic role player though, good with character voices, and enthusiastic. Her character was an Assassin Rogue named Shade, and proved surprisingly bloodthirsty. ¡°It¡¯s a trilby,¡± I replied, as if that explained it, and gestured to my baby blue bowling shirt. ¡°It¡¯s a Ska thing.¡± ¡°Is Ska still relevant?¡± Rachel asked with a concerned frown. She was sort of my only friend that was a girl back in the Texas town we grew up in. We hadn¡¯t played in a long time. It was nice to have her back. Story goes that she had to drop out of school to support her family, and we didn¡¯t get to see her much. She worked at an auto parts place now, and refused to wear anything other than baggy clothes and a nit cap to cover her greasy pink hair. I was finally starting to develop a style of my own, so I could use a little less judgment from her. Her character was a Starbound Barbarian named Oriana, and the tank of the party. Rachel was a good hang. ¡°It¡¯s coming back,¡± I said. ¡°Let¡¯s hope,¡± Rachel shrugged. ¡°The man¡¯s establishing his personal style,¡± Caleb said. ¡°Let him be.¡± Caleb was cool. He was an EMT, and he was dating Sofia, so I at least appreciated that he was able to get her at the table with us. The man was black, from Dallas, and sculpted like a Greek god. Most of us imagined ourselves as better looking in the game. He didn¡¯t have to. Though I guess I was a couple inches taller, so I had that going for me at least. We¡¯d convinced him to roll up a Code of Justice Paladin named Caleb (yeah he was that kind of guy) and he seemed to be having a blast so far. ¡°Thanks Caleb,¡± I said. He just winked at me. Man I wish I could pull off a playful wink. ¡°The hat¡¯s bad,¡± Mark said. Oh yeah. Mark was there too. I don¡¯t know what to tell you about Mark. He played a Wizard. I think his name was Almer or something. He was just a guy I knew from work, same as Asher. He worked IT, and I worked sales. Sofia reached across the table, ripped the hat off my head and tossed it across the room. Everyone cheered. I smiled despite myself. I could feel the red creeping in. Damn, I hated when I got flushed. My cheeks got all splotchy. Sofia just smiled and blew me a kiss. She played a Sorceress of the Void named Inara. Despite claiming to not understand the game very well, she was really good at picking the right spell during combat. More on Sofia later. ¡°Thank god that¡¯s over,¡± Asher said. ¡°Now we can play without that goddamn thing in my field of view.¡± ¡°Oh screw you, Asher.¡± ¡°I think I heard, ¡®screw you, oh kind and benevolent DM,¡¯¡± he replied. I flipped him the bird. We jumped right into the recap of last week¡¯s game then played for a couple of hours. It was great. I usually had a hard time getting into roleplay so having Bernadette next to me was nice because she was so good. She pushed me to jump in, when I¡¯d rather hang back. I was really more into combat, but it was fun to play make-believe too. Oh, I played a Fighter. More on that later too. Throughout the game, anytime Sofia spoke, I found it hard to look anywhere else. She had a smarmy way of talking, her mouth curved up on one side in a smile that showed her white teeth like she was fighting not to laugh. On anyone else, it would have been annoying. I didn¡¯t find it annoying. I tried not to stare at her when she wasn¡¯t talking and I think I did a heroic job of it. I only looked at her half as much as I wanted to. Like I said, I admired Caleb. He¡¯s a good guy. It wasn¡¯t his fault his girlfriend was the most beautiful woman in every room she walked in. And I¡¯m sure he gets it. At first break, I grabbed a beer from the fridge and cracked it open. We had a standing rule not to drink alcohol before then. Drink too much too early, and the whole game falls apart. Sofia brushed past me to snag a bottle of wine from the fridge. She smelled like warm cookies. How? Why? Girls, man, what the hell. She pushed her long black hair over a shoulder and twisted the top of the wine off with fluid, mesmerizing movements. Get it together, Zach, you asshole. You¡¯re not here for her. It¡¯s game night. ¡°I¡¯m actually having a lot of fun,¡± she said, her voice like a song that made your heart go all goddamn topsy-turvy. ¡°Yeah, you¡¯re doing really well. That subtle spelled suggestion on the Goblin Chief was a brilliant play.¡± I took a sip of beer. I hoped it would get me to chill the hell out. ¡°Well, yeah that stuff¡¯s easy,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯m not sure I get the ¡®roleplay¡¯ part though. Not like Bernie.¡± ¡°Yeah, well, nobody is as good as Bernie.¡± Sofia shrugged and took a swig right from the bottle. ¡°How come you never invited me to play back in high school?¡± ¡°I¡ª ah, I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d say yes. This kind of game wasn¡¯t really cool in high school. You think you¡¯d have actually gone for it?¡± ¡°Probably not. But you¡¯ll never know either way, huh?¡± Caleb walked in. She offered him the bottle. He took it, gave her a kiss, and made a small sip. ¡°Easy on the wine there,¡± she said to Caleb, eyes shining with affection. ¡°I just had a sip.¡± ¡°You know white wine gets you white girl wasted.¡± ¡°I just had a sip,¡± he repeated, kissing her on the cheek. ¡°I didn¡¯t know you guys knew each other in high school,¡± he stated, turning to me, seemingly a little embarrassed at the PDA. ¡°Yeah,¡± I said. ¡°We were sort of in the same circles.¡± ¡°¡®Same circles,¡¯¡± Sofia laughed, ¡°we both made State Choir, but he was too chicken to talk to me.¡± ¡°Hey,¡± I said. ¡°I talked to you plenty.¡± ¡°Mhmm.¡± ¡°Alright,¡± Caleb said with a shrug. Mark walked in and spoke. ¡°Asher says it¡¯s time.¡± ¡°Thanks Mark,¡± I said. On my way back to the table, Rachel hooked my elbow and pulled me into the pantry. ¡°Hey,¡± I said. ¡°Yeah, hey, listen.¡± ¡°I¡¯m listening.¡± ¡°Yeah, you¡¯re being creepy around Sofia.¡± ¡°No, I¡¯m not?¡± ¡°Hey, look,¡± she gestured to herself, ¡°certified girl here. You¡¯re being gross. She¡¯s probably the coolest addition to our game night, and I don¡¯t want you to scare her off.¡± ¡°How would I do that?¡± Rachel pantomimed resting her chin on her hand and gazing forlornly. ¡°I don¡¯t do that,¡± I said more defensively than I¡¯d like. ¡°You¡¯re also not letting her make her own mistakes. That¡¯s part of the fun.¡± ¡°Right.¡± ¡°Get it together.¡± ¡°Right,¡± I said, trying to sound serious. I didn¡¯t want to scare Sofia away. And I didn¡¯t want to disappoint my friend. ¡°Got it.¡± ¡°Good,¡± she said, rolling her eyes and walking out of the pantry. A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. I took a deep breath to settle my nerves, exhaled, then followed. When I got back, Asher was just setting down a strange book. Look, you can probably see where this is going. Asher found a book in his attic from a previous tenant. It had a strange incantation in it. He reads from it. Lightning, thunder, swirling blue mist. Blah blah blah, magic freaking portal opens up. Here is the really wild thing. Sofia takes one look at that portal and says: ¡°What, you¡¯re gonna make me go first?¡± Then she just gets up and runs through it, black and purple sundress fluttering behind her. Poof. Gone. The door was still there. We all looked at each other in stunned silence. The blue door hovered in space, crackling quietly with eldritch electricity. Caleb stood. ¡°Should I?¡± His voice trailed off as he looked at the mystical door. ¡°Is this some kind of trick?¡± he looked to Asher. Asher shook his head, his eyes wild. Caleb walked up to the door, said ¡®what the hell¡¯ and stuck his arm in. Something behind it, or more likely the door itself, grabbed him and pulled him in. Rachel stood from her seat and rushed to look behind the door. ¡°Yeah it sure does look like a magic freaking portal.¡± Nobody talked. I worked my jaw and tried to get my brain to process what was happening, but I just sat in my spot like an idiot. Rachel walked around to the front of the door but didn¡¯t walk through yet. Mark stood, brushed past her, and fell into the door, plopping into nothingness. Rachel shook her head, made a couple hesitant movements, and leapt after him. Asher looked at me. I looked at Bernadette. Bernadette shrugged. ¡°Asher,¡± I finally said, ¡°I know your family doesn¡¯t have ¡®cgi a magic door in your house¡¯ kind of money, but did you happen to win the lottery lately?¡± ¡°No,¡± he said. ¡°Well, damn. What¡¯s that then?¡± Bernadette stood and grabbed my hand. ¡°We got to go after her, yeah?¡± I shrugged. She pulled me standing. I was damn near a foot taller than her. If I wanted to stay here, there wasn¡¯t anything she could do about it. But I also didn¡¯t want to look like I was scared, so I grabbed my character sheet, and I followed her. We ran through the portal together. Blue emptiness stretched out in front of us as we tumbled through the portal. I tried to keep a good grasp of her hand. No wind, no sound, just the sensation of tumbling and of great forces working on us, trying to pull us apart. Then I noticed her clothes. They were much like the clothes she¡¯d been wearing but now all medieval-ified. Instead of a thin black turtleneck, she had a kind of leather coat held together with straps and buckles. On her leg were strapped several braces of knives. I looked down at myself and saw a baby blue tabard over chainmail. We started to spin. Bernadette laughed wordlessly. I grabbed her hand with my other hand but it was too much. We spun apart and I tumbled off into the blue void without her. Then, suddenly, it was all over. I was on my stomach in the middle of a dirt road. I pushed myself up just enough to look around. Simple dirt road, forest of evergreens, clear blue sky. I could be anywhere. In front of me was a longsword stuck in the dirt point first next to a wooden shield. Beside me was a strange belt with large pouches. I sat up. I grabbed the belt and buckled it around my baby blue tabard. The tabard was the exact same color as my shirt had been. Odd for sure. The chainmail was heavy. Made standing awkward, but I managed it. I grabbed the shield first. Inside the shield was a series of metal rings I guessed was for the sword. It had a long strap. I put the sword in the shield, and swung the strap on my back. I started walking. It is remarkable the things you will come to accept when the evidence can be touched and smelled¡ªexperienced. I knew that this was all crazy and that I shouldn¡¯t accept it as reality, but the shield on my back felt solid. The dirt on the road dusted up exactly the way dirt should. I could smell the evergreens caught on the wind. The heat beat down from the sun. I began to sweat. This was my life now. Once, I was playing a game with my friends, and now I was walking on a dirt road in some kind of ren-faire, live action role play bullshit. I could stop and scream at my situation ¡ª that it wasn¡¯t real. But that didn¡¯t make me any less lost. That didn¡¯t make the feeling of the chainmail on my shoulders any less real. So, I walked. After some time, I got hungry. I sat down on a fallen log next to the road and dug through my pack. It wasn¡¯t exactly the items I had on my character sheet, but it was close: The belt had a small knife in a sheath, and a waterskin. Next to that was a scroll case. One pouch had flint and tinder, plus a ball of string. The next had several candles and a taper. Two pouches were filled with rations ¡ª mostly hardtack, cheese, and dried fruit. The last pouch with anything in it was a strange crystal slate a little bigger than my hand. I unplugged the waterskin and drank. It was warm, but what I needed. I ate some of the cheese and fruit, but left the hardtack alone. Hunger satisfied, I turned around and pissed into the bush. I watched the branches dance in the wind. If there was any doubt whether this was real or not, the piss made it clear. Nobody dreamed about pissing in a bush. The crystal slate I had put on the log next to me. I opened the scroll case and found a fancy version of my character sheet. I nodded like this made sense. The crystal slate lit up. The letters ¡®DM¡¯ and the number ¡®3¡¯ were in a box very much like a text notification. I swiped the notification and the screen flashed to life.
DM: Welcome to the world beyond the Blue Door ¡ª Vesperalis! DM: I am your DM, and guide to this world. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to message this chat! DM: You also have access to a digital character sheet, a map, and a quest log from this slate. Other features are forthcoming.
This was interesting. When I ran through the door, I had had my smart phone in my pocket. The rules of this new place didn¡¯t make sense yet, but maybe the smartphone became this thing in the same way my clothes became armor? I texted this ¡®DM¡¯ back.
Beznik: Is this Asher?
I immediately got a response.
DM: No
¡°Hmm,¡± I said to nobody in particular, and set the slate face down. My hands went to the physical character sheet in the tube, and I slid it out to give it a glance. The most important information was my ability score stat line. The abbreviations were pretty self explanatory. Next to the score was its appropriate modifier in parentheses.
Beznik of the Red Hand the level 2 human Fighter Hit Points 19, Armor Class 18 (chainmail, shield) STR 11 (+0) DEX 9 (-1) CON 13 (+1) INT 13 (+1) WIS 10 (+0) CHA 14 (+2) Items: Adventurers¡¯ Kit (used), Chainmail, Longsword, Shield Abilities from Fighter: Adrenaline Rush (170% time dilation, double movement speed) and Second Chance (Twice per day heal +25% HP) Skills: History, Persuasion, Social Drinking
Most of the page was blank. Apparently, I was a human now, not a Dwarf. Made sense. But the stat line was wrong. It was much worse than what I had picked a couple weeks ago. I put my character sheet back in the tube, and picked up the slate. There was an icon like a scroll ¡ª I figured that was my character sheet ¡ª an icon like a map that seemed self explanatory, an icon like with a quill and inkwell that i guessed was the quest log, and an icon like an envelope with a red ¡®2¡¯ next to it, that I guessed was my messages. My finger tapped the messages before I could stop myself. There were three message groups. One that was simply named ¡®DM¡¯ that I had already read. One named ¡®The Adventuring Party¡¯ with the number ¡®6¡¯ next to it, and a last one that was named ¡®Saviors of the World I Guess¡¯ with the number ¡®11¡¯ next to it. I clicked on the one with less unread messages. As soon as I read it my pulse quickened. ¡°The Adventuring Party¡±
DM: Please use this chat for party messages!
Inara: Is anyone there? Inara: I¡¯m not sure we should trust this new DM Inara: Wow this world is amazing! The people here are fascinating 60 years ago read
DM: please do not make any new chat threads. This is the official chat thread of the adventuring party. 59 years ago read
Inara: I am so alone 50 years ago read
Inara ¡ª that was Sofia¡¯s character. Sixty years ago. The messages said that she got here sixty years ago. No way that was right. Must be some mistake. She couldn¡¯t have been here, alone, fighting god knows what by herself for sixty years. I quickly clicked the last message group. ¡°Saviors of the World I Guess¡±
Caleb: I don¡¯t trust this DM Caleb: So I made a new chat thread for us 30 years ago Caleb: I can¡¯t find Sofia 29 years ago Caleb: Man this world is fucked up Caleb: I got to do something about it 25 years ago
Ailmer: hey Caleb Caleb: Well met, Mark. You have a lot to catch up on. Caleb: Sending an update directly 10 Years ago Oriana: Aw hell. Are those time stamps right? Ailmer: They are. Sending you a message 5 years ago Shade: Well, shit 1 week ago
I was suddenly furious. It was one thing to accept that I was in a new world with new clothes and a sword. It was something else to think that my friends had gotten here five years ¡ª twenty five years ahead of me. That made no goddamn sense. I started typing before I could think to stop myself.
Beznik: This can¡¯t be right.
I got a response immediately.
Shade: it is Beznik: is Sofia in this chat? Ailmer: Caleb added her when he made this group Beznik: Good. Do you know where she is? Ailmer: No Oriana: We have bigger problems right now Beznik: the fuck we do 1 min ago
My hands shoved the slate in one of the pouches before I could text anything else. I made sure that all the rest of the stuff was secure, then marched down the road. I had no idea what to do next, but I wasn¡¯t gonna sit here and listen to that shit. I was gonna find Sofia. Something rumbled in my pouch. I stopped, and looked in the pouch with my slate. It glowed. I ignored it, and continued marching. The pouch rumbled again. ¡°Jesus,¡± I spat. I stopped and pulled out the slate. Two messages from Bernedette.
Shade: stop walking Shade: you idiot, you¡¯re about to run into a band of goblins
I shoved the slate back in my pouch and looked up. Six little green men stood about twenty paces down the road. One of them raised a curious item, almost like a gun. A crossbow bolt lodged itself into my shoulder. Chapter 2 — I Fight For My Life Well, I didn¡¯t want to get shot again, so I pulled my sword and shield, and ran full speed ahead. Three of the six goblins nocked arrows, and let them loose. I could see now that, on top of being little green men, they were all kitted out pretty well. Each one had bones arrayed in little rows on their chest as armor, and rusty looking swords at their waists. The arrows looked sharp enough. I had to run faster. The world slowed. I heard a ¡®whoosh¡¯ sound that I later learned was the ability activation feedback for ¡®Adrenaline Rush¡¯. The arrows stopped about three or four feet from my face and floated in. I batted them aside with my shield and kept running. Probably saved my life. The goblins glowed a deep red. By the time I got to the first one, they had all dimmed to a hot pink. I guessed that was the ability¡¯s way of letting me know how much time I had left. Not much. I plunged my sword down into the chest of the first goblin. This close he was maybe only three and a half feet tall. A spray of blood shot out like a pin in a water balloon. I kept running and shoved him to the dirt. The remaining goblins glowed a light pink. I wretched my sword free, sending gore into the air, and lashed out at a goblin with a bow, slicing it right in half and opening his neck. Then time returned to its normal free-rushing speed, and I was surrounded by four goblins. I couldn¡¯t tell if that was bad or not. It was bad. An arrow grazed my neck, and two goblins stabbed me one after the other, sword points catching on the mail, but punching with surprising force into the muscle of my back. I spun and lashed out with my sword, knocking them back, but not doing much damage. Seeing an opening, I ran through them, and knocked one to the dirt. I then spun, and put the rest in front of me. It was four-on-one. Their reach was shit, but my mail didn¡¯t cover the lower parts of my legs and my boots weren¡¯t armored either. If they shot me in the face, or nicked a femoral artery, I was super dead. Also that crossbow was a problem. I raised my shield just in time for a crossbow bolt to punch halfway through it, sending a crack I could stick my finger through halfway down the face. Yeah it was a real problem. What was that other ability I had, again? It was one thing to remember your abilities rolling at a table, and another when people were shooting at you. I¡¯d never been to boot camp. I¡¯d never even been to LARP camp. This was hard, man. Crossbow guy started loading. Two goblins pulled what looked like pot lids for shields and advanced. Arrow goblin sent another my way that grazed my scalp. Before I could decide my next move ¡ª a dagger flipped end over end through the air, gleaming with purple energy, and lodged itself into one side of the crossbow goblin¡¯s head, sending brain matter and skull out the other side. I ran forward. Bernadette leapt from the bushes and tackled arrow goblin, stabbing over and over. I swiped furiously at the two goblins with shields. They were surprisingly disciplined, covering for each other. I couldn¡¯t find an opening. I just hammered them with blow after blow. One shield fell apart. I crushed through the bone armor with a thrust, and he fell. The second shield goblin stabbed right through the flesh above my knee. Right below the hem of my chainmail. I wheeled around on him, and lunged. My leg gave out and I fell to my good knee. His shield turned aside my feeble thrust. Right, ¡®Second Chance.¡¯ I had that. How did I use it? Bernadette slit his throat and pushed him to the dirt. ¡°You okay?¡± she asked, smiling wide with nervous adrenaline. ¡°No?¡± I fainted. By the time she was able to drag me into a sitting position, I heard the tail end of the victory music. Yeah. Victory music. It was catchy. So, I must have only been out for a second or two. Bernadette wrapped the leg wound with white cloth. ¡°That was stupid,¡± she said, talking fast. ¡°Always check your map! Other players can mark ambush points, and this was an old one. Looks like they¡¯d just made a kill. Poor bastards.¡± I glanced around. Among the bodies of the dead goblins were several humans: One armored in chainmail like mine, though with a green tabard. One wore robes. And the last wore something like the leather jerkin Bernie wore, but less fancy. Were they adventurers like us? Was there anyone like us out here, or were they Non-Player Characters? Did that even exist in a world like this? She ripped the crossbow bolt out of my shoulder, and I screamed. I threatened to pass out again, my vision narrowing, but I kept my senses. She started wrapping my shoulder. ¡°Wounds heal quick for us,¡± she said. ¡°Probably especially for you. You¡¯ll have to check your character sheet. Infection is still a problem.¡± ¡°Thanks for all this,¡± I said. ¡°Didn¡¯t really leave me much choice, huh?¡± Bernadette pulled the bandage tight, then pushed something on her crystal slate. Wait. There was one on the ground too. It was a green color. Mine was blue, like the one she held. A rush of euphoria washed over me. An itchy feeling twisted in my leg and shoulder. ¡°This skill works slightly better outside of battle, so maybe it¡¯s good I used it now.¡± ¡°How low did I get? HP wise,¡± I asked. Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings. ¡°Two,¡± she replied. Bernie stood and started searching the bodies, starting with the dead adventurers. If that is what they were. Two hit points. I had gotten down to 2 out of 18. ¡°Man,¡± I said. ¡°I shouldn¡¯t have tried to fight six on one, huh?¡± ¡°Twelve,¡± Bernie replied. ¡°No shit?¡± ¡°Six in the bushes too.¡± ¡°I would have been fucked.¡± ¡°Right in the ass!¡± Bernie replied. ¡°Good thing I was here.¡± I stood. ¡°You saved my life,¡± I tried to sound grateful, but it was hard considering how scared I was. I almost died. If Bernadette hadn¡¯t been there, I absolutely would have died. I sat back down. ¡°You gonna help me loot these bodies?¡± she asked. I grabbed my knees and rocked myself. Didn¡¯t think people actually did that, but here I was. This was too much. I didn¡¯t want to be here. Fuck this fake ass fantasy shit, I wanted out. ¡°Oh, no,¡± she muttered and ran to me. ¡°Hey,¡± she said, ¡°Hey, Zach, freaking out is normal. Freaking out is fine.¡± She hugged me. I didn¡¯t cry. Much. But damn was it nice to be held. ¡°You¡¯re going to be fine, Zach. You¡¯ll never be unprepared again. And I¡¯m here, yeah? I¡¯ve been here for a week, and I¡¯ve already leveled twice.¡± ¡°Twice?¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± I wiped my eyes. ¡°Did you cry?¡± ¡°Lots. I think it''s adrenaline dump? Body doesn¡¯t know what to do, so you cry.¡± ¡°Right.¡± Bernadette¡¯s eyes were an indescribable soft brown, and her smile was sweet. I stood and went to the first dead body. When we found something that seemed useful, we tossed it into the pile she¡¯d started. After a while we had quite the haul. First was the stuff we got from the dead adventurers: 1 stationary and writing set in a small satchel. 1 wand. 1 spellbook 1 explorer¡¯s backpack (various adventuring gear like torches) 1 set of chainmail 1 Longbow and a quiver of 12 arrows 1 longsword in a sheath 1 steel kite shield 2 handaxes 1 short sword 1 burglar¡¯s pack (candles, a bell and string, and ball bearings and etc) 7 knives, two of which were long and well suited for combat. 3 tents 3 bedrolls And finally, 11 packs of rations Then there were the goblins which mostly had a bunch of junk like the bone armor and pot lids, as well as various gross trinkets like uncured animal parts and plants of dubious edibility. Their swords, more like large daggers for us, didn¡¯t seem like they would hold up to rigorous use, and the bows didn¡¯t look like they¡¯d pack much of a punch. The best we got off them were the throwing knives Bernie used to kill them, and a handful of coinage of various make. And the crossbow. The crossbow was fancy. We found something like 9 unused bolts for it. Counting the one we dug out of my shoulder made 10. ¡°Yeah this crossbow has to be magic, based on how it punched through your armor. We¡¯ll need to head back to town to get it identified.¡± I looked at the huge pile of loot. ¡°Are we taking all of this too?¡± Bernie shrugged ¡°Why not? Should all sell well. And some of it¡¯s actually useful.¡± She prodded the burglar¡¯s pack with her foot. ¡°I mean, for you I guess. I don¡¯t use stuff like this. Need to stay light on my feet. I¡¯m in good shape, but not good enough to lug a fifty pound pack back to town, so take what you think you can carry. I¡¯ll mostly keep the crossbow and daggers.¡± I looked her up and down real quick. She was 4 foot 10 inches of black leather and a green cape, with daggers running down each leg. She had the good fighting ones looped into her belt. Her right hand had a big thick glove, almost like a workman¡¯s glove, but with creamy leather, while the other one was a barely-there fingerless thing. She¡¯d gotten a haircut, a short pixie cut that kept the hair out of her face but also looked quite fetching with her pointy features. The leather also looked nice against her hips. ¡°Are you ogling me?¡± she asked. ¡°I mean, you look different.¡± She laughed, and bent over to shove the wand and spellbook into her satchel. She settled the crossbow¡¯s strap behind her back. I swept my eyes across the bushes. The movement of the trees in the wind cast shadows that seemed to conjure goblins in the brush. On a second look they disappeared. ¡°The leather looks nice,¡± she said, ¡°but doesn¡¯t breathe well. It¡¯s like a swamp up in here.¡± ¡°The chainmail isn¡¯t as breathable as it looks either. Though, I guess more breathable with the hole in it.¡± That got a laugh out of her. I chuckled, and started going through the explorer¡¯s pack to see what I wanted to keep, and what I could toss to make it lighter. I didn¡¯t want to lug a fifty pound pack either, and I found this kind of mundane inventory work kept my mind from obsessing about those six goblins I hadn¡¯t seen. I tossed most of the torches. They were the heaviest. I kept the lighter of the two coils of rope, the silk one, and consolidated the water into one skin. After that, it was mostly eating utensils, and stuff that didn¡¯t weigh much. I added some of the burglar¡¯s pack and it still felt much lighter than it had. The good weapons I took. The handaxes and short sword went into the pack. I strapped the longsword to the outside. It didn¡¯t seem better or worse than mine. Could I use them both at once? I had a flashback to the crossbow bolt that had nearly shattered my shield. That one was headed for my throat. Probably best to just use the one sword at a time. I swapped my broken shield for the metal one. I tested the longbow, but couldn¡¯t get it back to full draw with much ease. Curse my 11 strength. The chainmail, a hauberk, I wasn¡¯t sure about. Once I got it off the man ¡ª no small feat ¡ª I realized it was about forty pounds rolled up and sized too large. No doubt, it fetched a pretty penny. But I was already exhausted, and the thought of adding it to my pack seemed like a bridge too far. Last of it was the tent and bedrolls. ¡°How many of these do we need?¡± I asked. Bernie had spent much of that time dragging the goblins into a pile. ¡°The tent or the bedrolls?¡± she asked, dropping the last one. ¡°Both.¡± ¡°Well,¡± she wiped her brow and sat on a fallen log, ¡°the tent we could use. I¡¯ve been running back to town each night. Don¡¯t trust sleeping out here. But with a good tent we could travel farther. And we¡¯d only need one bedroll.¡± ¡°Really?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t get too excited,¡± she said smiling, ¡°it¡¯s ¡®cuz we¡¯d be sleeping in shifts. I don¡¯t really like the idea of getting stabbed in my sleep.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t mean ¡ª that¡¯s possible?¡± She shrugged and gestured to the dead humans in the road. ¡°Right,¡± I agreed. I strapped the bedroll to the bottom of the pack. The tent had its own satchel, which I affixed to the top. Together, it was about forty or so pounds distributed fairly evenly across my back. I was pretty familiar with forty pounds from carrying water bottles to the break room. The pack with the belt and the chainmail wasn¡¯t too bad, but I didn¡¯t want to carry much more than this. ¡°You ready?¡± Bernie asked. ¡°Yeah, I want to see what this town is about.¡± Bernadette grunted her assent, grabbed one of the torches I¡¯d left behind, lit it, and tossed it on the pile of goblins. Their clothes caught fire pretty easily, a fact I squirreled away for later. ¡°That¡¯s sure to draw attention, so let''s move before they show up.¡± ¡°Who?¡± I asked. ¡°Whatever nasty business this world has in store for us.¡± We marched down the road, and toward town. Chapter 3 — Bernie Catches Me Up It wasn¡¯t long before we reached a bend in a stream that came right up to the road. Probably a nightmare during a flood, but a great place to rest. We removed our armor, and washed it in the stream. I could tell that I was getting way more tired than she was. Despite her tiny frame, she could move out here. I tucked into some cheese and dried fruit, and eyed the dry hardtack. The smallest bite soaked up all of the moisture in my mouth. It was like trying to swallow a brick made of flour. I washed it down with some water, and was able to breathe again. ¡°Yeah, that stuff sucks,¡± Bernie said. We were both down to our shifts, medieval underclothes like a big shirt tucked into our pants, and had our armor and gambesons laying on a rock to dry. Look, I¡¯ll say this once and not linger on it, but despite her petite frame, she looked good in a thin white shift in the humid air. I swear I didn¡¯t stare. Despite my nature, I fought the wave of affection and admiration I felt for her, and tried to look at her as just my new friend. A friend who was in this shit just like I was. She¡¯d saved me, but she wasn¡¯t my savior. Being out here alone had to have been tough. And that would be me too, if I proved I couldn¡¯t be trustworthy. It was one thing to lust after the cute girl you didn¡¯t know outside the game table, it¡¯s something else to lust after a colleague when death was on the line. It also helped that when the wind shifted, she smelled fantastically awful. Like, not cute-sweaty, but true football-pads-after-a-long-day-of-practice awful. Not that I smelled great either, mind you, but nothing like the foul stench of road sweat to remind you of flesh and blood humanity. ¡°They have baths back in town?¡± I asked. Bernie laughed. ¡°Yeah. Tubs can give you splinters if you¡¯re not careful, but the soap is nice.¡± She shaded her eyes and glanced at the treeline. Sun was just a couple hours above it. ¡°Would love to wash up in the stream,¡± she said, ¡°but I don¡¯t want to get caught out here after dark. We should pack up in ten to fifteen.¡± ¡°Alright.¡± I spent a moment or two working up the courage until I finally said it. ¡°Okay, give me the rundown on what happened before I got here.¡± Bernadette sat on a rock opposite me, spikes of sweaty brown hair wafting in the breeze, and nodded. ¡°Alright. I think Rachel or Mark could do better than me. But I may as well tell you what I know so far.¡± ¡°Where¡¯s¡ª¡± ¡°We don¡¯t know what happened to Sofia,¡± she said, putting a hand up. ¡°Mark thinks Caleb may know, but he won¡¯t say one way or the other, and he¡¯s so busy now, it¡¯s hard to get to him.¡± ¡°Busy doing what?¡± ¡°Running the Western Kingdom.¡± ¡°He¡¯s a king now?¡± ¡°He¡¯s one of a couple. There¡¯s also the Queen of Light, the big baddie to the East. As well as the King in the Wood that controls this area we¡¯re in, which is to the South of all that. Your map can tell you some of this. King in the Wood is the last holdout of elves, gnomes and wood folk from when the Evil Queen kicked him off the Throne of Light.¡± ¡°Okay. So he¡¯s good?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not sure. He¡¯s got major bad blood with Caleb. Something about him marrying his daughter.¡± ¡°Shit. He¡¯s married?¡± ¡°He¡¯s got four kids. And one grandkid. His sons are running around here somewhere, Princes of the Blade, all trying to be bigger adventurers than their father. His daughter is at the castle with the grandkid. I met one of the sons in town, a prince. Kind of a jerk.¡± ¡°Wow.¡± I rubbed my stubble, such as it was, and tried to imagine what a fifty something year old Caleb looked like. I also imagined what a 80 something year old Sofia looked like. But then again, maybe she didn¡¯t look much different, since she was a sorceress. I know in the game, that magic could stop you from aging. And if she¡¯d died, that was probably something one of us would have known. But maybe that was just cope. ¡°There¡¯s also the Goblin Horde,¡± Bernie continued, ¡°which splits the country right down the middle, but apparently Caleb broke them into a bunch of small tribes that aren¡¯t a major threat.¡± I was hesitant to ask my next question but I did it anyway. ¡°What about Mark?¡± ¡°Mark is a high level Wizard. Not retired, like Caleb. He¡¯s in his tower cooking up ¡®something big,¡¯ whatever that means. He answers texts, but apparently Rachel hasn¡¯t seen him since she¡¯s shown up. ¡°Okay. Is Rachel okay?¡± ¡°She¡¯s on her way to us. Has her own NPC crew called the Foaming Mug Brigade. Said she was only a week or so to the North. Our job is to level up before she gets here.¡± ¡°A whole brigade? Like a thousand troops?¡± ¡°I was under the impression it was like, six dudes.¡± ¡°Oh. So that¡¯s it then. Why are we here?¡± ¡°Have you talked to the DM? Have you looked at your quests?¡± I fished out my crystal slate. I considered opening the ¡®quest log¡¯ but put the phone face down instead. ¡°I haven¡¯t either,¡± she continued. ¡°The DM I mean. The quests tab is fine. Main quest says we need to defeat the Evil Queen of Light, then the Blue Door will open again, and we¡¯ll all go home.¡± ¡°Seems simple.¡± ¡°Apparently Mark isn¡¯t sure it¡¯s possible in a conventional way. Her White Knights of the Word are the baddest fighters in the world right now. He said if we run into one we need to run. Even Rachel needs to run.¡± ¡°Aren¡¯t White Knights good?¡± ¡°Not when they work for an Evil Queen. Plus maybe the DM likes the irony, who knows.¡± ¡°Huh.¡± So, I needed to level up, meet up with Rachel, go grab Mark ¡ª ugh ¡ª then try and convince Caleb to come out of retirement. We defeat the Evil Queen and head home. But what about Sofia? I guess we get Caleb to tell us what happened to Sofia, defeat the Evil Queen, then go home. You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version. But what if Rachel doesn¡¯t make it to town in time? Do we go out and meet her? What level do we need to be first? ¡°I see you plotting,¡± Bernadette said. ¡°We just need to make it back to town, then we¡¯ll figure out our next move.¡± ¡°Right.¡± I opened my slate and looked at my character sheet. I was starting to suspect that my stats were messed up somehow. Did I get a chance to increase them at level four? Like The Game from the real world? ¡°Can I see your stats?¡± I asked. ¡°I think they¡¯re the same as our real bodies.¡± ¡°You¡¯re probably right,¡± she said, walking over and sitting next to me. We swapped slates. Her stats were:
Shade the level 4 Assassin Rogue. Hit Points 21, Armor Class 15 (leather armor) STR 7 (-2) DEX 18 (+4) CON 12 (+1) INT 13 (+1) WIS 10 (+0) CHA 18 (+4) Items: +1 magical dagger of tracking, unidentified magic crossbow, unidentified spellbook, unidentified wand, unidentified monocle, leather armor, 18 throwing daggers, 2 combat knives, 2 rations, 4 candles, 1 flint and tinder box, charcoal, 4 sheets loose paper Abilities from rogue: Backstab (+150% additional damage against targets from behind or against targets that are otherwise distracted), Assassinate (triple backstab damage against targets that do not identify you as a threat), Beguiling Allure (double proficiency bonus to charisma checks against the opposite sex) Skills: Acrobatics, Deception, Investigate, Seduction, Sleight of Hand, Stealth
The ¡®seduction¡¯ skill was a new one. That wasn¡¯t a skill in the game we played. Neither was the skill named ¡®social drinking,¡¯ that I had. The ¡®Beguiling Allure¡¯ player ability seemed gender essentialist as hell, too. What about non-binary people? Were they immune? Maybe this was an older version of the game. I had never played those. The ¡®assassinate¡¯ ability seemed strong. That was probably how a simple thrown dagger could explode a dude''s skull. Her stats were much, much better than mine. Maybe you got more than the two ability points at level up? ¡°Your stats are really good,¡± I said. ¡°So maybe I was wrong.¡± ¡°Nah, they seem right to me,¡± she said, handing my slate back. We swapped. I looked at her skeptically. ¡°I mean I was going to UT for drama, and was in the top 10% of my class before all this. I¡¯d say an 18 charisma is accurate. Charisma is the persuasive one right?¡± ¡°Sorta. It¡¯s like force of personality, and determination. Where did you put your points at level up?¡± ¡°I only got two. The tooltip on the app said dexterity was my primary attribute.¡± ¡°Yeah it¡¯s stealth, and damage for rogues.¡± ¡°Right.¡± ¡°So, it was 16 before? How? I don¡¯t have a stat higher than 14.¡± ¡°My mom was an olympic gymnast, and my dad was a circus performer.¡± ¡°People still ¡ª¡± ¡°People still work at the circus, man.¡± ¡°So you ¡ª¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± she said, getting up and doing a cartwheel that transferred into a handspring. ¡°I¡¯ve been doing this for a while.¡± ¡°Holy shit!¡± I clapped because what else was I supposed to do? ¡°Amazing!¡± ¡°Why thank you,¡± she said with an adorable shrug. ¡°How did you get your charisma so high? I thought you worked at a tech company, like you were a coder or something.¡± ¡°I¡¯m in sales and marketing.¡± ¡°Yeah that tracks. Hence your Social Drinking skill.¡± ¡°I can hold my liquor.¡± This may be underselling it a bit. I drank whiskey most weekdays. It wasn¡¯t something I was super proud of, but I¡¯d picked up the habit on ¡®beer fridays¡¯ at the office. Okay maybe I started drinking after my big breakup. Whatever. ¡°That may not be a bad thing,¡± she said, shrugging back into her gambison. I caught a glimpse of a nasty burn scar on her back and shoulder. It was red, like it was only a couple months old. ¡°Basically anyone you talk to in town wants to do it over drinks. I got wasted my first night here.¡± I started to pack us up. It didn¡¯t take long, and we were off on the road again. I had my slate out, and tracked us as we moved. The nearest town was called Brindletree, a couple miles down the road. I guess it was a fun fantasy name for a town. Maybe they made the leather things horses used? The map also had our quest marked with a red dot, and side quests in blue. I reverse pinched the map a couple times and zoomed out. Before, the blue dot for meeting with Rachel was barely on the map, and now it was right on top of us. Way over on the West coast was the quest to talk to Caleb, in a city called Bladefall. Mark was somewhere up North. The Evil Queen was notated with a red dot over a city called Everbrite. I pinched back to a more reasonable scale. The surrounding area was mostly forest, and a couple small towns connected by dirt roads. The capital city, such as it was, had the name Pendras Holdrin. That sounded particularly Elfy. Guess that was where the King in the Wood lived. This whole area seemed to be the smallest political entity based on borders. Last holdout indeed. Further, there were a couple places on the map that indicated an ambush spot. Thankfully, none on the road to town. I had a pit of dread eating into my stomach. The same feeling I felt before a big test in school, like maybe I shouldn¡¯t show up, stay home. And isn¡¯t that what Caleb was doing? Staying home? He was supposedly some big shot adventurer, but he stayed in his castle now. I didn¡¯t know anything about Caleb, about this world. Judging him wouldn¡¯t make my own decisions any more sound. Suddenly a thought crossed my mind. ¡°How did you get to me so quickly?¡± I asked. ¡°I, ah, do you really want to know?¡± she broached tentatively. ¡°Yeah,¡± I replied, breathing hard from the pack. ¡°Even if it¡¯s embarrassing, we should be honest with each other.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not embarrassing. I had just hoped you had a couple drinks in you first.¡± I stopped walking. ¡°What is it?¡± Bernie turned, did a little cute shrug and said, ¡°I followed them.¡± ¡°The goblins?¡± ¡°The adventuring party.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not a big deal. I guess you didn¡¯t get to them in time.¡± In the Game we like to be heroes, and if we messed up it was a bummer but not like this. I can¡¯t imagine what it was like to talk to a group of people, and then see them dead in the road later. I would probably have blamed myself. But I¡¯m sure she did the best she could. Bernie walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. ¡°No. I was watching when the goblins cut them down.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± ¡°I had planned on stealing their stuff while they were sleeping. Goblins just got to them first.¡± ¡°Oh. Wow. Well maybe ¡ª¡± She withdrew her hand. ¡°You. Weren¡¯t. Here.¡± She said, very slowly, enuciating very deliberately, her eyebrows raised in barely contained fury. ¡°I did what I had to.¡± I thought for a moment. Bernie was right. I wasn¡¯t there. I didn¡¯t know what she had to do to survive out here alone. If I thought about it for even a second longer, I may have thought myself to a point where I judged her for it. But I didn¡¯t think about it. What did I know? I was only alone here for minutes. She¡¯d been alone here for a week. ¡°Sorry. You did what you had to,¡± I said soberly. ¡°Right.¡± ¡°How did you know I was gonna run into them? Was I a quest?¡± ¡°Actually, I can always see you on my map.¡± ¡°Really?¡± ¡°I have a magic item that lets me track any living creature whose blood I¡¯ve spilled.¡± ¡°But I ¡ª¡± She turned my hand over. The faintest scratch was on the top of it. ¡°Scratched you when we got pulled apart.¡± Bernie turned on her heel, and we walked. I didn¡¯t ask any more questions after that. We reached Brindletree swiftly. The town was bordered by palisades and carefully trimmed trees. Yellow and orange leaves drifted in the wind. I saw my first elf. Look, the ears were pointy elf ears, what can I say? He was also tall, and pretty for a man, with big wide eyes. His pink and gold irises damn near sparkled. Leaf-shaped plates formed his armor, and his spear looked really tall. I didn¡¯t like the idea of having to fight one. Two more sat in guard stations at the top of the palisade with strung bows at their sides. I made a mental note to be on my best behavior. ¡°Hey, Versidius,¡± Bernie said on approach. ¡°You staying out of trouble?¡± ¡°Shade. Glad you return safe.¡± ¡°There¡¯s that loquacious wit I¡¯m so fond of,¡± Bernadette said with a wink. He seemed to smile despite himself, and opened the wood and steel gate with a crank. I was ready to drop dead, but Bernie didn¡¯t seem tired yet, so I kept all complaints to myself. We shuffled through, and I got my first taste of what towns in another world looked like. Chapter 4 — Elven Wine and Dancing Time In some ways, it conformed exactly to my expectations. In others I was left astonished. The buildings were all one story wooden domes, smooth and well made, but with lines suggesting faintly the image of an upturned bird nest. Windows were circular, and opened to let the fresh air in. Despite the falling leaves, it wasn¡¯t cold. The town was bustling to get chores done before supper. No cattle, but plenty of goats and well¡­ the main source of transportation seemed to be fluffy brown birds the size of a horse. A familiar fantasy creature came to mind, but I didn¡¯t want to assume anything. Most townsfolk were elven. But I also caught sight of what had to be gnomes, with pleasant, pointed features and white hair. Most of the gnomes wore a shawl or head wrap of some kind. The elves had cloth caps with cutouts for their ears. The couple humans I saw must have missed the headwear memo. ¡°You¡¯re staring,¡± Bernie said. ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ve never seen an elf before!¡± ¡°Try not to stare. It makes you look like you¡¯re new.¡± ¡°Right.¡± Bernie led us to a building with a wooden sign of a brown squirrel with a sword twice the size of his body. ¡°The Sword-bearing Squirrel,¡± she said. ¡°It¡¯s a¡ª¡± ¡°A dick joke,¡± she finished for me. I nodded. The building was more oblong than the others, and maybe twice as large. We got to the tavern, and checked our weapons and packs at the door. The man behind the counter gave us a ticket. He was green. And he had tusks protruding from his bottom lip. Was he a troll? An orc? I made a mental note to ask about it later, and we strode further into the tavern. Dozens of people laughed and joked and threw darts. Drinks overflowed. At first blush, it seemed every bit the fantasy tavern I expected it to be. The hearth had a strange shape. A second glance revealed it to be a repurposed forge with bellows. Above the forge was a sword that gleamed blue in the firelight. Elves were everywhere. ¡°There¡¯s a lot of elves here,¡± I said, stating the obvious. Bernadette grabbed me by the elbow and pulled me off to the side. ¡°Look, you¡¯re a boy,¡± she accused. ¡°I mean, I¡¯m 24.¡± ¡°You know what I mean.¡± ¡°Sure.¡± ¡°I¡¯m meeting a contact here who is gonna help us identify our new magic items.¡± I tried not to remember where we had got them, and nodded. ¡°We''re gonna get close while we¡¯re here,¡± she continued, ¡°and if I talk about sex, I don¡¯t want you to get weird about it. I got a good vibe from you at the table, but if you start getting weird, this isn¡¯t going to work. I need you not to be a problem.¡± There was silence as she turned away from me, and sighed. ¡°You hooked up with an elf?¡± I asked, because that¡¯s the first thing I got from the conversation. ¡°Literally the second day I was here.¡± I skipped over visualizing what that looked like, and barreled ahead with the first question I had. ¡°Was it nice?¡± Curiosity at this world overpowered anything else. ¡°I mean, look at them. If you were that pretty, would you put in a lot of effort?¡± ¡°I¡¯d hope so.¡± ¡°That¡¯s nice. It was fine. I would keep my expectations low, if that happens for you.¡± A run of thoughts went through my head. First was that the elf woman behind the bar was the most beautiful person I had ever laid eyes on. All elves were pretty. Some were gorgeous. Second, was the unfinished business I had with Sofia. Would she appreciate that I had saved myself for her? She absolutely would not. How long had it taken for Caleb to move on? Lastly, I thought about what it would look like for Bernadette to pull her shift over her head. I cut that thought right out, as soon as I thought it. ¡°Caleb¡¯s wife¡ª¡± I began to ask. ¡°Is an elf.¡± ¡°That tracks.¡± ¡°Uhuh. I¡¯m gonna grab my elven contact, and we¡¯ll be back in under an hour.¡± A look crossed my face. ¡°Oh my god, not everything is about sex.¡± ¡°But you said¡ª¡± She punched me in the arm. I could feel real intention behind it, but she also only had 7 strength. ¡°I won¡¯t be weird!¡± I pleaded. ¡°I promise.¡± She rolled her eyes, and walked off. It was just me, surrounded by a dozen of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. I was also bone tired. I could count on one hand how many times I had ever been this tired. Building a stone walkway for my dad in the Texas summer heat was one. This is definitely the other. Look: you¡¯re gonna have to cut me a little slack if I wax poetic about the beauty of the women around me from time to time. All young single men in their twenties are lovesick fools. We¡¯d all been through our first breakup. We¡¯ve left home, and our friends have gone off to new opportunities. We¡¯re all horrendously lonely, and we all are prone to seeing any beautiful woman as if they were the last we¡¯d ever meet. We¡¯re all needy, lonely fools. Then again, Bernedette wasn¡¯t a boy in his twenties, and she¡¯d shacked up with somebody here on the second day. Maybe boys weren¡¯t lonely. Maybe we all were. I sat at the bar. It was shiny and clean. No glass behind it, but rows of bottles and several wooden kegs. The barmaid introduced herself as Darlara. Her hair was a soft pink bun pulled tight, and her eyes sparkled green and gold. A spray of freckles splashed across the skin of her nose. And I don¡¯t want to put too fine a point on it, but her simple clothing was also very well tailored in such a way that I couldn¡¯t help but notice that she was stacked. The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings. ¡°Nice to meet you Darlara,¡± I said with my most pleasant smile. She laughed nervously. ¡°Have not met many elves, have you?¡± Her voice was accented, kinda husky, and she pronounced every vowel like I¡¯d expect an Italian to. ¡°How can you guess?¡± I responded. ¡°Because you look like your eyes may roll right out of your head.¡± I laughed. ¡°Sorry!¡± ¡°It is no problem. Just treat us like any other folk, and you¡¯ll be fine.¡± It didn¡¯t occur to me until just then that we were all speaking English. How had English spread to this world? Had it? Or was there some kind of magical translation happening? I realized that she was expecting me to respond so I said, ¡°I¡¯ll do my best.¡± She laughed politely. ¡°What can I do for you, love?¡± she asked. ¡°You have coin, I hope?¡± I fished for the coins in the pouch, not really a pocket really, that was sown into my pants. I pulled out a couple coppers and a silver. ¡°What does a silver get me?¡± ¡°You are fresh, aren¡¯t you?¡± I held a finger in front of my face and said, ¡°Shh, lets not let it get around yeah?¡± She gave me a wink and took the coin as I slid it over. ¡°A silver gets you stew and bread, with whatever you want to drink, and a use of the baths.¡± ¡°I think if I don¡¯t get some stew right now, I¡¯ll die.¡± ¡°That¡¯s true for all of us, dear.¡± In moments I had stew, mostly goat, with onions and mushrooms, plus some kind of muffin thing. The muffin was savory, with goat cheese. The ¡®best she had¡¯ to drink she called wine, and it came in a wooden bowl, but after one sip it was probably closer to some kind of brandy from the burn. Without much thought, I brought out my slate. I clicked on the group chat ¡®Saviors of the World I Guess¡¯ and clicked on the list of people in the group. Each one had a strange 18 digit number next to their character name. I typed the one I needed into a new text, and sent a quick ¡®hey.¡¯ Beznik: hey 6:23pm I got a message back immediately. Ailmer: what''s up Zach. I¡¯m a little busy God, he was so rude. I tried to go slow on the wine, but in moments I found myself with an empty cup. I ordered another one. Beznik: where do you think Sofia is? Ailmer: text. Caleb. Ailmer: I got a lot going on here. He would be the only one that knows. 6:29pm This is why I wasn¡¯t close friends with Mark. I had three more cups of wine before I thought to stop. Jumped in the bath next. It was a communal thing, separated by gender, five or six large buckets full of soapy water. The soap had a floral scent. I scrubbed hard to get the dirt off and came out a little red, but happy to feel clean. Getting the chainmail back on was hard at first, but an older elven man got me fixed up quick. Entering the tavern again, Bernadette greeted me. She¡¯d also bathed, I gathered from the wet hair, and clean fingernails. ¡°You¡¯ve had the wine,¡± she said. ¡°How can you tell?¡± ¡°You got a dopey smile when you¡¯re drunk.¡± I punched her playfully in the arm, and she smiled wide. ¡°I got our stuff in our room,¡± she said. I followed her up the steps into the room. It seemed small, cozy. A large bed, maybe queen sized by our standards, and an end table took up most of it. The quilt on the bed was plush, and made up of squares fitted in the shape of the sign out front. A large chest with some pillows was set under the circular window. And that was it. Didn¡¯t need much else. And it¡¯s not like they had a TV. I was surprised to see that when she said ¡®our stuff¡¯ she meant all of our stuff. How had she gotten it back? ¡°I¡¯m a rogue,¡± she said. ¡°I lifted our stuff when the orc went to take a leak.¡± ¡°Alright.¡± ¡°Man, your pack was heavy. Here, hold this,¡± she said, pressing the crossbow to my hands, ¡°then open your character sheet on your slate.¡± I took the crossbow, swiped open my slate, and tapped my character sheet. Everything looked the same but for my inventory. Added, was a +1 light crossbow of piercing. Looked like I could tap it too, so I did. Its lists of traits all seemed to line up with the standard features of a light crossbow except for something called ¡®dishonorable shot¡¯ which did 150% extra damage to armored opponents. Nice. I handed it back and it disappeared from my inventory. ¡°The wand and spellbook I sold,¡± she said. ¡°We aren¡¯t magic types. Also, we¡¯re rich now!¡± She tossed a bag of coins to me. It was nearly full. Opening the strings revealed more gold than I had even seen before. It was like, real gold, which I actually wasn¡¯t sure I¡¯d ever seen. Not in purities like this. ¡°Shit. That¡¯s a lot of gold.¡± ¡°Ain¡¯t it,¡± she said with a twinkle in her eye, and rolling a gold coin across her knuckles. ¡°How are you¡ª¡± I started to ask. ¡°My dad was a¡ª¡± ¡°Circus performer, right,¡± I answered for her. She gave me a wink. Then handed me a monocle. ¡°Try this thing on,¡± she said. As I worked to figure out how to get the monocle to stay in my eye, she leaned out the window and looked around outside. As soon as I got it settled, I swept my vision across the room. A little pop up of text appeared in my vision over the crossbow notating it as ¡®magic crossbow¡¯ but not more. I trained it on Bernadette and it gave a very truncated version of her stats. ¡®Shade ¡ª lvl 4 Rogue; HP 21¡¯ So, it gave me a name, level, and hit points. The longer I focused on her the more information appeared. It wasn¡¯t her whole statsheet but it also gave me her subclass, her best and worst stat, and the name of one of her abilities. She turned back to me and smiled. ¡°Like what you see?¡± ¡°It¡¯s useful.¡± ¡°Yeah it is,¡± she said, holding her hand out for the monocle. I returned it, and she slipped it into a pouch on her belt. ¡°It doesn¡¯t give the extra stats for people that aren¡¯t in your party though. That first line of information is all you¡¯ll get for most people. Interestingly, really special folk won¡¯t give you anything but a name, and a number of skull-and-crossbones.¡± ¡°Is that a level thing?¡± I asked. Music from the floor below started wafting up. It was lively. ¡°I think so,¡± she shrugged. Then without much warning she grabbed my hand. ¡°Hey! Let¡¯s go dance.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not really a¡ª¡± ¡°Oh don¡¯t get your panties in a wad, we deserve it.¡± Again, like the last time she grabbed my hand, I didn¡¯t fight back. I tottered down the stairs behind her, then she led me to the space they had cleared for dancing. The band was just a fiddle, an overturned barrel, and a tambourine, but that was enough to fill the room. Those that didn¡¯t dance sang along. It reminded me of celtic folk music, not just from the fiddle, but from the beat too. Lyrics were pretty, but in a language I didn¡¯t recognize. I could probably sing this pretty easy though, and that was likely the point. The last time I danced with a girl was at a college party. She was trying to teach me to dance with her. Apparently it was ¡®all about the hips.¡¯ Eventually she got frustrated and moved on. The memory came unbidden. But I didn¡¯t have time to think about it because soon we were on the floor and spinning. I¡¯d watched a handful of YouTube videos about it since then, but I think my partner was just a better teacher this time. We only danced for a single song, but after I was flush with good feeling. and grinning from ear to ear. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me down to whisper in my ear. ¡°You think you can take it from here?¡± I glanced around at the others who weren¡¯t dancing. I put my hands on her sides and moved her away from me. ¡°Maybe?¡± ¡°Good!¡± she said over the music that started up again. She kissed me on the cheek, reminded me not to be weird, and ran off She walked right up to a young woman talking with her friends. Bernadette grabbed the girl¡¯s drink and quaffed some. The woman stood, the first blush of anger on her cheeks, but before anything else could happen, Bernie grabbed her hand and led her to the dance floor. Soon they were dancing. I spied Dalara resting her hip on the bar, and tapping her foot to the song. With no convincing at all, we danced too. Later, I sang with the band once I picked up the words, and Bernie and I played darts with a couple farm hands. She destroyed us. That 18 dexterity was no joke. The night ended with both of us well buzzed, and absolutely wiped. I would love to tell you there was some drama between Bernie and me over there only being one bed. It''s a classic storytelling trope for a reason. But it simply wasn¡¯t an issue. Both of us were exhausted. We slept back to back. She was small. We didn¡¯t touch each other. I don¡¯t remember waking up before the sun and birdsong. Dragging myself into wakefulness, I spied that Bernadette was awake already, and fully kitted for travel. She beamed with horrible, morning person energy. ¡°Alright,¡± she said, ¡°today we get you to level three!¡± Chapter 5 — I Start Earning Experience We got on the road pretty quick. That first day I was left exhausted, sore as hell and sucking air. But we had been able to clear out a crypt of five skeletons, earning a health potion and about 25 gold. That had brought us to a party gold total of 367, for now. The skeletons had gone down pretty easy. I''d lured them down the hall, and Bernie shot them with the magic crossbow from a side passage. With all of her damage multipliers, even with their piercing resistance, they''d crumbled in a single shot. The next day we used as a rest day. She spent time with Fan¡¯inel, apparently the name of her elven contact, and I went on a date with Berryhop, a Gnome girl I¡¯d met the day before. She was cute. She picked mushrooms, was about ten years older than me, and had a large family that she was keen for me to meet. She said she liked my singing voice. I never sang anymore back in the real world. Maybe it was easier here, where nobody knew me. I¡¯d help her pick mushrooms sometimes, and she¡¯d bat the poisonous ones out of my hands. On breaks we¡¯d lay under the tree amongst the falling leaves, and I¡¯d sing pop songs I knew. It was fine. Bernadette called them NPCs ¡ª ah, Non-Player Characters. I¡¯m not sure I agreed. Those goblins had bled real blood. And when Berryhop exhaled, I could smell the mushrooms and onions on her breath. That was real enough for me. I thought about texting Caleb. I didn¡¯t. I texted Rachel instead. Beznik: Heya Rachel! Map says you¡¯re still 100 miles out. Is that true? 7:55pm Oriana: nice to hear from you too Beznik: shit, man, I didn¡¯t know what to say Oriana: I know magic bullshit got in the way, but haven¡¯t heard from you in five years. First text I get is in the group and it¡¯s about Sofia Beznik: I¡¯m sorry Oriana: It¡¯s fine. The girls and I are headed your way as fast as we can. Maybe a week and a half out if we keep this pace. Just stay there, I¡¯ll pick you up. 8:01pm I wondered what ¡®the girls¡¯ meant, but it seemed like she was mad at me, so I didn¡¯t push. The next day we ran into a bunch of wolves. I was able to scare them off with some waving of a torch. Bernie¡¯s crossbow helped. By the fourth day I¡¯d reached just shy of the experience threshold to advance to third level. I could tell Bernie was frustrated at my slow progress, though she figured I just needed one more quest. But at that point I was really maxed out. Mechanically, I had two levels of exhaustion. This meant most of my abilities lost their bonuses to effectiveness. Spiritually, I just wanted to crawl into that weird straw bed at the Squirrel and go to sleep forever. Physically, my muscles groaned like a rusted hinge when I moved, and everything hurt. I¡¯d never been in so much pain. I hated that goddamn forty pound backpack, and that heavy belt with every fiber of my being. My body just couldn¡¯t keep up. Bernie let me rest for two days while she explored the town on her own. She didn¡¯t sleep at the Squirrel with me those days. She said she had somewhere, and I kept my word about not being weird, so I never learned who that somewhere was. Berryhop would visit me for tea. I asked her for a kiss, and we made out some in our room upstairs. She was an awkward kisser, hesitant, but fit in my lap which was fun. Weird, but fun. By day eight of staying in Brindletree, my muscles had healed enough that I thought I could probably head out again. In the morning, Berryhop broke up with me via a hand delivered note. This is what it said: Dearest Breznik, I don¡¯t know if you¡¯re really who they say you are, one of the Promised Heroes, but I can tell that the life you¡¯re meant to lead is different from mine. The songs you sing fill my heart with joy and promise, and when I lay awake at night, the feeling of your strong arms around me lingers. I also really like the way you kiss. You may have ruined me from dating tallmen ever again. I can¡¯t help but feel that I¡¯m holding you back. You should be adventuring with your tallmen friend. Plus, if I ever brought you back to the Springwillow home, I¡¯d never recover from the scandal. Cousin Berrybutton brought a halfling back once and it was the talk of the whole neighborhood for months. I hope we meet under different circumstances. Perhaps a different Berryhop and a different Breznick could¡ª No I daren¡¯t write it. Be well. I will miss you. Forever thinking of your song, Berryhop Springwillow. Look, I¡¯d cheated a bit singing Elvis here where he didn¡¯t exist, but I also didn¡¯t claim to have written the songs either. I walked around the tree the town was named after, a massive deciduous tree at the center of town with normal autumnal leaves striped with shiny black. The leaves fell around me and I found my mind settling on what Bernedette would say about the breakup other than the event itself. After about ten minutes of feeling sorry for myself, I got over it. She was sweet, but we just didn¡¯t have anything in common, and she knew it. Good on her for figuring that out. This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there. Bernadette met me at the bar. Tea was, well, tea and more of those cheese muffins, as well as a hardboiled egg. She was in her shift and vest, not her adventurer clothes. I didn¡¯t think I needed a vest, but she looked nice in it, so it made me think twice. ¡°Where¡¯s Berryhop?¡± she asked as she sat down. ¡°I¡¯m sure you can guess.¡± ¡°Of course, but I thought maybe you wanted to talk about it.¡± ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡± ¡°Did ya¡¯ll¡ª¡± ¡°Now who¡¯s being weird?¡± She put her hands up and patted the air in surrender. ¡°Alright, alright, that¡¯s fair,¡± she admitted. ¡°But, selfishly, I was interested in the mechanics.¡± ¡°Gross.¡± ¡°She¡¯s tiny!¡± ¡°So are you.¡± ¡°Hmm,¡± she seemed to chew on that for a bit then said, ¡°you ready to head out in a bit?¡± She helped me back into my armor, then I exited the room to let her get hers on. Once kitted out, I shouldered our pack and we headed for the road. The guard waved at us on our way out, cracked an actual smile for once. I had the monocle, and popped it in for a brief moment. Versidius ¡ª guard lvl 4; HP 22 Now, that was interesting. That was one of the tougher people in town by reputation, and he was the same level as Bernadette. No skull-and-crossbones. Obviously she had tested the monocle in town, so somebody was over our level. But this guy wasn¡¯t actually as tough as I thought. He still had more hit points than me though. ¡°Where we headed?¡± I asked. ¡°North,¡± she said. ¡°Yeah, but what¡¯s the quest?¡± ¡°Headed toward the closest goblin camp.¡± ¡°You want us to clear out a goblin camp?¡± ¡°Well,¡± she looked back at me and smiled, ¡°not yet. You¡¯ll see. It¡¯ll take us most of the day, and we should save our breath.¡± The wind came in cold from the North, up the trail, and while my legs still ached it was bearable. I was grateful for the wind because I was already beginning to sweat. Really wished the road wasn¡¯t on an incline, though. The leaves fell like they always did, and I wondered what the world looked like outside this forest. It was pretty, but I was keen for a change of scenery. Bernadette had a full quiver of bolts for the crossbow and her bag seemed fuller than it had been. I wondered too what she had in store for me. My thoughts turned to the events of the week as we hiked, and something just didn¡¯t seem right to me. ¡°I think we should be more open about who we date, and where we are,¡± I said. ¡°Man, what did I say¡ª¡± ¡°I know, I know,¡± I butt in, ¡°I don¡¯t want to be weird. I want you to trust me. But I think that means we have to actually trust each other.¡± She stopped and turned around. I stopped too, secretly welcome for the reprieve. ¡°What do you mean?¡± she asked. ¡°I mean, I know you want to be able to spend time with who you want, and you¡¯re weary of, I don¡¯t know, my judgment or my interest or whatever. But if I don¡¯t know where you are, I can¡¯t protect you.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t need your¡ª¡± ¡°Yes you do. I need your protection, and you need mine. Until we find Rachel, it¡¯s just us out here.¡± A flash of anger crossed her face, but she let me speak. ¡°That Fan¡¯inel guy,¡± I continued, ¡°I¡¯m sure he¡¯s fine or whatever, but what if he wasn¡¯t? What if you got hurt? Maybe you¡¯d be able to text me, and maybe you wouldn¡¯t. But I don¡¯t know where he lived, or when you¡¯d be back, or anything.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± she said, hesitant. I wasn¡¯t sure what to say next, but I felt like maybe I said something wrong, so I waited for her to say something first. ¡°I don¡¯t like it when you talk over me,¡± she said. A hundred ways to defend myself, to explain why I had talked over her, came to the front of my mind. I kept my mouth shut and instead said, ¡°Okay. I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°Look,¡± she continued, ¡°I know I¡¯m tiny, and cute, and honestly kinda sexy once people get past that, so guys get real possessive of me. I can¡¯t have that.¡± ¡°Right.¡± ¡°No, listen. I can¡¯t have that with you. You¡¯re right, it really is just us out here. We¡¯re about to go do something really dangerous, and I need you watching my back, and not thinking about ¡ª about, I don''t know ¡ª how much you want me.¡± Did I want her? I wasn¡¯t sure. The way she talked about herself wasn¡¯t untrue. I liked looking at her. And I did feel protective of her. But then again, I was protective of all my friends. Were we really friends now? I guess we were. ¡°I don¡¯t think you have to worry about that,¡± I said as sincerely as I could. Bernadette''s soft brown eyes searched me, looking for something. ¡°What are we doing out here, Bernie?¡± I finally said. She sighed, obvious frustration showing. ¡°You just have to trust me.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve got to give me something.¡± She glanced at her slate. ¡°We¡¯re headed to an elven outpost, the Woodguard. They have a little base set up a little bit from the main goblin camp. We¡¯re about six miles out from that.¡± ¡°Alright.¡± ¡°And that¡¯s all I¡¯m willing to say right now. Once we do what we need, the secrecy will all make sense.¡± ¡°So what about¡­ Nevermind. Will you at least consider what I said?¡± ¡°You made a good point. And it¡¯s not like I didn¡¯t make it weird with the gnome girl, so I¡¯ll try to be better too.¡± ¡°That was fine. I can handle some teasing.¡± ¡°Okay. Well. Good talk. You ready to walk?¡± I laughed at the rhyme and said, ¡°Let¡¯s do it.¡± I don¡¯t think we¡¯d really figured ¡®this¡¯ out, whatever ¡®this¡¯ was. She seemed to have a lot of anxiety about how I would behave around her. Maybe this was valid. Maybe I did something wrong to lead her to feel this way. Or maybe it wasn¡¯t about me. But then again. She didn¡¯t trust me. She still wouldn¡¯t tell me what we were doing out here. We stopped for a rest an hour later and it was awkward. We ate from our provisions, and listened to the wind, and I obsessed over whether I had made things better or worse by forcing a conversation on this. ¡°Fan¡¯inel was harmless. He thinks he¡¯s a big shot, but the more he told me the less likely that seemed. If I thought he could get dangerous, I would never have stayed over,¡± she explained. ¡°Okay.¡± She stared at me and worked on some piece of food behind her lips. I figured she was waiting for me to say more. ¡°Well,¡± I said, ¡°you want to know about Berryhop?¡± ¡°Yes. God yes. A gnome, man, why?¡± ¡°She liked me. Said I sang well. And it¡¯s fucking scary out here.¡± ¡°It is,¡± she admitted, glancing up the road. ¡°And I guess her hair was nice.¡± Her hair had been white, streaked with a shock of pink, and she had kept it back in a simple ponytail when she was foraging. But when she let it down it was a huge fluffy mane of softness. She¡¯d let me play with it on our breaks under the trees. ¡°Why Fan¡¯inel? Was it really all about the information?¡± ¡°Did you see the way their eyes sparkled? And his shoulders¡­¡± ¡°He had nice shoulders.¡± She just responded with a ¡®mhmm¡¯ then stood. ¡°Come on, I think we can make it just as it gets dark.¡± I took a sip from my waterskin and screwed the cap on. The rest of the day went by quickly and dusk settled in just as we set our sight on the two elven guards up the roads. The pink and gold clouds were a riot of colors between the dark trees that framed the sky. Bernadette greeted them with a codeword of some kind in elven and they escorted us to the camp. The camp, or ¡®cut¡¯ as our escorts called it, was mostly a rough palisade with a trench dug around it. A dozen tents in a square plan with neat and orderly rows greeted us as we walked past the two guards there. The guards were wearing that fancy elven plate, but our escorts had a simple leather cuirass and greaves over layers of cloth. They had beautiful floral embellishments on the leather, but didn¡¯t seem much sturdier than Bernie''s armor. Based on the number of tents, I estimated there to be much less than a hundred men here. I had no idea how big the goblin camp was but it had to be more than this. I assumed we were here to help them. But if that was the case, why all the secrecy? The main tent was large, and dusk had fled by the time we were seated there. Crickets chirped and soft singing drifted in from the open flap. A lamp set on the table filled the place with a soft glow, illuminating maps unfurled, and letters opened. A fancy chair was set next to the table. It almost looked like a throne, with a tiger skin draped over it. Behind the chair was a cot and more animal skins. As soon as we were alone, Bernie stood, put a finger to her lips then ducked out of the tent, leaving me alone. Chapter 6 — I take a level in healer Bernadette had left me alone in the tent, and I was just sitting there wondering what the hell I was supposed to do for several minutes before I drew my sword, and swung it a couple times to test its weight. It alleviated some of my boredom. The sword was still pretty new to me. I left my original one back at the Squirrel. This one was listed as ¡®dwarven sword¡¯ in my inventory. It was probably a centimeter or two shorter than my original one, but much better balanced. The steel shone with substrates of lines across it like the sentiment, and the crossguard was a little short but thick and sturdy. I supposed it was kind of like the ¡®Damascus style¡¯ knives my dad liked, but instead of swirl patterned, it was incredibly even lines perpendicular to the edge. I didn¡¯t know one way or the other but Dwarves were known for their craftsmanship, right? I¡¯d only ever used it against the skeletons and that was mostly just to keep them at distance, so who knew? ¡°Nice sword,¡± said a man I hadn¡¯t noticed come in. He wasn¡¯t very tall, maybe half a foot shorter than me, but his bearing radiated confidence and competence. His piercing red eyes seemed to shine in the dim light, and he had long braided hair that flowed like a dark river down his back. He gleamed in head to toe plate armor, like the guards out front, but I could tell this armor was supposed to indicate a higher rank. It was heavily embellished with colorful enameled flowers. The handles of two swords jutted from his belt. He smiled. I sheathed the dwarven sword. ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I said, pulling the monocle out of my pouch and putting it in, ¡°I can¡¯t see very well without this thing.¡± The monocle displayed his name as Taldinar -- Knight of Flowers, and then had two skull-and-crossbones next to it, with no further information. So, that¡¯s what that looked like then. ¡°I¡¯m sure,¡± he said in a way that told me he wasn¡¯t convinced, but was too polite to call me out on it. ¡°My lieutenant tells me a woman spoke our code word, and said she had something of great importance to speak to me about.¡± ¡°Right,¡± I said, pocketing the monocle. ¡°I¡¯m not sure what to believe about that, but I am very curious where she learned the codeword. It¡¯s information privileged to Kingsgaurd and not something bandied about just to gain entrance into one camp.¡± He stepped closer. I got the feeling he wasn¡¯t very happy about this turn of events. ¡°What can you tell me about this woman?¡± Bernadette walked in at just that moment. ¡°Captain Taldinar,¡± she said. ¡°I was just looking for you.¡± Suddenly she became very small, and very pitiful looking. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± he asked, genuine concern crossing his face. ¡°I¡¯m so scared,¡± she said, approaching him. ¡°They said that you were the only one that could help me.¡± ¡°My dear girl, who said?¡± Bernadette stumbled forward and Captain Taldinar caught her. She reached her hand up to cup his face. ¡°You¡¯re so beautiful,¡± she whispered. ¡°What can I do?¡± he asked. A flash of lamplight was all I saw of the dagger as it came up. She drove it through his jaw to the hilt. He staggered back, whimpering but unable to scream, blood pouring from his mouth. He drew his two swords. I drew mine. Bernie, what the hell did you get me into? She ducked just out of his reach as he slashed at her with both swords ¡ª his movements incredibly precise and elegant, one sword following the other. Bernie had a long dagger in each hand and only parried when she absolutely had to. I rushed in and attempted to shove him to the ground with my shield, but he settled his stance. It was like running into a brick wall. I could not move him. He hooked a sword over my shield and stabbed me in the neck. Immediately, my chest ran slick with blood under my gambison. ¡°Focus on defense!¡± Bernie hissed. ¡°I¡¯ll finish him off!¡± He immediately whirled on her, slashing. The mirth of a trick well played lit up her eyes. A smile hid at the corner of her thin lips. Whoosh went my Adrenaline Rush skill as soon as he turned. I leapt forward, and stabbed into the open space behind his knee, feeling the point slip between the plate and punch through mail. His legs buckled. Bernie pushed forward with a kick and he toppled backwards. I stabbed down into his face over and over until he stopped moving. My ability expired after he did. Bernie stood over him. She looked to him first, then to me and raised her eyebrows questioningly. The victory fanfare played and a ding echoed from my slate. I dropped my sword and fished it out. Two small notifications were displayed. The first said that I only had one hit point remaining. The second said that I was now level 3. ¡°Yeah, I leveled up,¡± I said. ¡°Good!¡± Her face softened in relief, and she sheathed her daggers. ¡°Now drink that potion.¡± ¡°What? Why?¡± ¡°Because,¡± she said, loading a crossbow bolt into the breach and pulling back the crank. ¡°Reinforcements.¡± She trained the crossbow on the tent flap and yelled ¡°help!¡± I had never been more angry at a person in my life. I could feel my face start to get all splotchy. ¡°What the hell are you doing?¡± I hissed. I could hear commotion outside and shouts of ¡®fire¡¯ and ¡®get the buckets.¡¯ ¡°I think I can get you to level four.¡± ¡°Why these people?!¡± This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it. ¡°We weaken the King in the Wood; it takes pressure off of Caleb.¡± I could hear the roar of a fire close by, which answered my question about what she had been doing while I was alone. The potion bottle was tiny in my hand, more like a vial, and I tossed it back like I was taking a shot. It was cool and went down smoothly. Slightly fruity. The wound in my neck itched. Bernie yelled again. ¡°Help! Something is wrong with the Captain!¡± I fished one of Taldinar¡¯s swords from the ground just in time to see an elven man run in. The loud thwunk of a crossbow cracked through the air. A bolt turned his face into a mess and he crashed to the ground next to his captain. A second elven man ran in and I pierced his neck with a lunge. He crumpled. A slash opened the tent from the opposite side. ¡°Attack!¡± the man screamed as he saw the bloody mess. ¡°Assassins!¡± Bernie leapt atop the table and kicked the lamp, splashing burning oil all across the man as it exploded across his armor. He fell into the tent and suddenly it was ablaze. Two more ran in from the original opening, and I dashed back. I turned the first sword swing aside with my shield, and parried the second with my new sword. A crossbow bolt slammed into the face of one. The other backed away from me. ¡°I don¡¯t even need the backstab bonus on these guys!¡± Bernie yelled above the sound of the fire roaring behind her. ¡°Just tie them up, and I¡¯ll pick ¡®em off!¡± Four more arrived. I backed up to give them just enough ground. As soon as two fell behind I rushed forward, keeping the pressure up with swipes of my sword but not really going for the kill. Three knives landed into the soft exposed parts of their bodies one after the other. Two fell immediately. I stabbed through the neck of a third. The fourth turned to flee. A crossbow bolt sunk into the base of his spine and he fell. We had precious seconds. I dug the monocle out and shoved it in place over my eye. Turning back to Bernie, I saw her drop down from the table and rush to me in front of three more advancing elves. She was bleeding from her shoulder and had 10 hit points. I was still mad at her, but I didn¡¯t like that. Fully half of the tent was on fire. I didn¡¯t like our odds out of the tent and into the open, but the longer we stayed here, the greater chance of us breathing in that smoke and that could be deadly on its own. ¡°Not today,¡± I said to myself, the activation phrase I had entered for ¡®second chance.¡¯ I could feel the healing magic doing its work on me. ¡°We gotta move!¡± I yelled as she reached me. She just nodded and ran out of the flap in the tent. I followed with the three men not close behind. Outside was chaos. A full unit of eight men held the front entrance. So, that was a no-go. Other men ran to and from the three fires she had started in addition to the tent behind us. Bernie pointed with a dagger back toward the common tents and we ran. I had left my pack in the burning tent so I was actually able to keep up for once. We rushed into the first tent we could see, a man in a state of undress as its only occupant. I stabbed him through the chest and kicked his body to the dirt, before whirling and meeting the three that had followed us. Bernadette moved like a pouncing cat, leaping back to avoid a swing and diving in to drive the point of her fighting daggers into something soft. That was one down. I was starting to get the hang of fighting two men at once. But I was starting to gas out. I¡¯d never done anything as stressful as fighting one after the other like this. The two men left weren¡¯t particularly strong, having the titles of ¡®guard¡¯ and 7 hit points a piece, but trying to keep up with both was difficult. I generally just focused on one at a time, keeping my shield up and hoping it did its job, as I focused on parrying just the guy in front of my sword hand. Bernie ran her dagger over the throat of one. The other got through my sword hand and punched right into my stomach. He¡¯d overextended. I stabbed him through the eye and he crumpled. Glancing down at my stomach, I saw that the chainmail had done its job, barely, as he¡¯d made it through the chain but not the gambeson. Who knows how many hit points I had left but it had to be few. We didn¡¯t have time to breathe. I was just able to see an elf with a bow from the open flap. The head of an arrow appeared from Bernie¡¯s chest. She dropped the crossbow and crumpled to the dirt. ¡°No!¡± I stabbed my sword into the ground point first, grabbed the crossbow and fired the bolt she¡¯d loaded. It struck the elf in the chest, and he fell. I closed the tent flap, and went to my knees, pulling her into my arms. She had zero hit points left. Blood soaked into my pants and pooled around us. ¡°No, no, no,¡± I heard myself say. ¡°Where¡¯s your potion?¡± ¡°Gotta travel light,¡± she said, sardonically. ¡°Shit.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to die, Zachary,¡± she said, eyes wide with panic. ¡°But it hurts.¡± ¡°You¡¯re not going to.¡± I returned the monocle, and fished my slate out of my pocket. ¡°Don¡¯t let go,¡± she said. ¡°Don¡¯t let me go.¡± ¡°I got you.¡± I pulled her in tight with one hand, and swiped to my character sheet with the other. I slammed my finger on the plus sign next to my name. It took several tries. Blood smeared on the screen. A list of possible class levels I could take appeared. At the top was fighter. Through the blood, and panic I struggled to see another. First was barbarian, grayed out with a ¡®STR 13 required¡¯ next to it. Then was bard. Then was cleric, also grayed out with a ¡®WIS 13 required.¡¯ I mashed on the cleric listing but nothing happened. ¡°It hurts,¡± Bernie said, really quiet. ¡°I¡¯m gonna fix this,¡± I said, my voice quivering as I shook. ¡°Just wait.¡± ¡°It hurts so much,¡± she said, squeezing her eyes shut and her face contorting in pain. ¡°Momma please ¡ª momma ¡ª it hurts.¡± ¡°Goddamn it,¡± I cursed. I mashed the bard listing. A ding rang from the slate. My character sheet changed. I had spells now. Bernadette''s face went slack. I scrolled through my spells. One of them was called Healing Phrase. It said ¡®a simple sung phrase that lifts the spirit, and restores vitality.¡¯ It listed it as a first level spell, whatever that means. Just like Second Chance, it had a spot to type in an activation phrase. I typed in the first thing that came to mind, through the panic, through the fear. I took a breath. I sang the words. ¡°I need you.¡± Bernadette¡¯s eyes flung open. She sucked in a breath that caught. She tried again, but couldn¡¯t seem to breathe. I grabbed the shaft of the arrow sticking out of her chest, and pulled. She screamed. I only got it half way out. I yanked upwards again, pulling it the rest of the way out until I saw bloody feathers, and tossed it aside. ¡°Get up,¡± I said. She coughed blood until she could breathe again. ¡°I can¡¯t!¡± she said. ¡°We gotta get out of here. I need you to get up.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t,¡± she sobbed. ¡°I can¡¯t. It hurts¡± ¡°Yes you can,¡± I said. Then, I cleared my throat and sang, again. ¡°I need you. I can¡¯t do this without you. Please don¡¯t go.¡± I heard, actually heard, the flesh in her chest knit together. She sat up. ¡°It doesn¡¯t hurt,¡± she said. ¡°We have to move.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± she responded, ¡°follow me.¡± We ran past flaming tents and soldiers helping each other into armor. Arrows whizzed past us. Soon we reached an opening in the palisades. The two guards in front of it first crumpled to my sword, then to her daggers. We slipped through. Our feet pounded on the forest floor as we barreled through brush and piles of leaves. We weren¡¯t being stealthy. We just needed distance. After what felt like an hour of running, but couldn¡¯t have been longer than minutes, Bernie stopped. I crashed into her but wrapped my arms around her so I didn¡¯t dash her to the ground. ¡°Get off me!¡± she hissed. I let her go. She fell to her knees. ¡°I can¡¯t keep running,¡± she gasped. ¡°I can¡¯t. I can¡¯t keep ¡ª¡± I looked around to see if we had been followed. We hadn¡¯t. I put my back against a tree, and pulled her into my lap. ¡°Don¡¯t let go of me,¡± she sobbed, tears streaming down her face. ¡°It¡¯s okay, Bernadette, I got you.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t let go.¡± She cried, hard. I fished a blanket out of her satchel and wrapped it around us. It was all we had since I¡¯d left my pack behind like an idiot. We were both soaked in blood, and the blanket helped fight off the chill. ¡°It¡¯s adrenaline dump, remember,¡± I said. ¡°No it¡¯s not,¡± she said through the tears. ¡°I died.¡± ¡°No you didn¡¯t. Death saves remember? Remember the game? Zero hit points is nothing.¡± ¡°So, I was dying and you bought me back.¡± ¡°Yeah, I took a level in healer.¡± She stopped sobbing, and looked up at me with those huge brown eyes. ¡°You really do have a nice voice.¡± Chapter 7 — Safe Not Sound By the clock on our slates, we¡¯d probably slept for two and a half hours. I woke up first. She was shivering in my arms. Voices called through the trees. They were looking for us. I shook her awake as gently as I could. She licked her dry lips and looked as if she was going to say something. I put my finger up to silence her. Her eyes narrowed. Then, another shout echoed through the forest. It was a quick search, not a quiet one. Bernadette nodded. She stood. She was a tiny, shivering mess, but after doing a couple exploratory stretches she nodded to me again, indicating she was ready. We worked our way through the forest as silently as we could. It wasn¡¯t perfect, but it was better than our crashing flight from before. Our slates led us to the road. We started jogging once we hit the dirt. The town was twelve miles away. We made it with only one stop. After the last stop I remembered putting her on my back halfway through. She was heavier than my pack, but not too hard to carry at first. Toward the end, I was sucking air pretty hard. I don¡¯t even remember getting back to the Squirrel. When we next woke, it was morning. We were in that bed, and Bernie was still in my arms. She crawled off me sheepishly. I didn¡¯t say anything. She left. I fell back asleep. When she returned, I could see she¡¯d taken a bath. ¡°You look awful,¡± she said. I just shrugged. ¡°Baths are probably lukewarm now, but you should go scrub up,¡± she continued. ¡°Alright,¡± I said. ¡°I ah,¡± she sheepishly pointed to a stack of clothes by the bed, ¡°I purchased us some new clothes. Hope I got your waist right.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure it¡¯s perfect.¡± ¡°Oh, shut up. I¡¯m gonna take a nap.¡± I grabbed the clothes, but before heading down stairs. I grabbed some coins from Bernie¡¯s satchel. Luckily, we still had plenty of cash. We¡¯d split our gold into two bags, so the fact that I left my pack back ¡ª well, that wasn¡¯t as devastating to our finances as it could have been. In her satchel was a peculiar dagger, more of a short sword really. It had the same enamel flowers on the hilt as¡­ I quickly closed the satchel and hid it under my side of the bed. I don¡¯t know why. The baths were cold, which sucked. But that meant I had more privacy than I would have. I shrugged out of my clothes, but checked the spells on my character sheet as I did, moving the slate from one hand to the other as needed. Here was my spell list: At-Will Spells¡ª Mend Item Tiny Tricks First level spells¡ª Charm Person Curse, Minor Heal Light Wounds Healing Phrase I could probably ask Mark how magic worked in this world, but I didn¡¯t want to bother him if I didn¡¯t have to. Besides, my magic probably worked differently than his. I looked at the Tiny Tricks spell and stepped into the bath, ignoring the shiver that ran up my leg. I was caked in blood. Already the color of the water began to change. Apparently Tiny Tricks was my most versatile spell. It couldn¡¯t cause damage or otherwise hinder an opponent in a fight, at least not directly, but it was able to do a wide range of small, nearly harmless magical effects. Some of the effects listed were: instantly clean a small object, light a candle or torch, warm a glass of water, make your eyes glow, shoot sparks from your hands, replicate a faint sound, change the color of a small object, summon an intangible illusory trinket no larger than your hand, cause a flower to bloom, rattle a closed shutter, dry your hands, and ¡ª this was the most interesting part ¡ª ¡®other things you may discover through experimentation.¡¯ I settled into the water and tried to relax despite the cold. I briefly considered what would happen if I dropped my slate in the water. Probably nothing. It wasn¡¯t a phone anymore, it was a magical translucent pane of crystal. Swiping on my character sheet, I found my spell primer. This page listed all my activation phrases for my spells, but also had tooltips explaining how my spellcasting worked. Apparently, it was like my Adrenaline Rush ability, in that I needed to focus and intend to use the spell first, but additionally I needed to then add a flourish of music and hand movements to activate it. Healing Phrase was different than other spells in that I just needed the phrase, and healed more when sung but a simple shout worked in a pinch. Crucially, this let me heal with my hands full in pitched combat. Okay. This water was too cold. I was determined to make it warmer. Let¡¯s try a Tiny Trick. I waved my hands over the water and hummed a song I knew about taking your clothes off in the summer¡­ and then something happened! It got warmer. Not a lot warmer, but a little. I made a little warm spot! I waved my hands and hummed the song again. More warm water. Four or five castings of the spell later, and the water went from startlingly cold, to bearable. I smiled a smug smile to myself and settled into the water. Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation. A bit later, I had scrubbed the blood and muck from myself and dried off. The clothes Bernadette had got me fit well. The shift was a little baggy, but that was sort of how it was supposed to fit. The pants were also loose by a centimeter or two, but I¡¯m sure I could get it altered. Or maybe I could do it myself? Maybe with the Mend Item spell? I could experiment later. In the common room of the tavern was an elven man in head-to-toe plate armor, embellished with enamel flowers. His hair was blonde ¡ª not dark like the man I had killed. So that was good. He was talking to Dalara. I approached the bar, hoping to hear what they were talking about, and because to do anything else may arouse suspicion. They were talking in another language. I assumed elven. But a couple words slipped into english. One was ¡®the King,¡¯ Another was ¡®Knight of Flowers.¡¯ I wondered why the titles were in english? I scooped my monocle, which I had thought to snag before coming down, and placed it over my eye. His name appeared readily enough. Aquilan -- Knight of Flowers. With two skull-and-crossbones. We had just barely beaten the last Knight of Flowers, I assumed some kind of elite fighting force for the King in the Wood, so I didn¡¯t want to get in a tussle with him. Darlara got me a bowl of wine, mostly juice really, and a cheese muffin. I asked for a second bowl and stepped in front of the knight before he could leave. ¡°Leaving so soon?¡± I asked. Yeah, I knew this was a supremely stupid play but I did have proficiency in Social Drinking. ¡°I just ordered some wine for you.¡¯ ¡°It is early still,¡± he replied, looking me up and down skeptically. ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s breakfast wine.¡± ¡°I suppose I can have one sip. Your name, good sir?¡± ¡°Zach,¡± I said. ¡°From Dandelion.¡± This was a place in the Evil Queen¡¯s kingdom (often called Throne territory) but bordered the Kingswood. ¡°Well met. Aquilan.¡± I shook his hand and he sat across from me at the bench. He took a sip but eyed me all the while. ¡°You¡¯re looking for criminals?¡± I asked as innocently as I could. ¡°Assassins, actually. There was a murder last night.¡± ¡°Horrible. Here in the Kingswood? Surely not.¡± ¡°Outsiders and traitors abound, it seems. We will catch them soon. I have my men searching the tavern.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t imagine Darlara would harbor traitors.¡± Aquilan drained the rest of his wine. ¡°Well, that is the difference between Kingsmen and the common folk. It is my job to imagine traitors anywhere they may be hiding.¡± He stood, and dismissed me, ¡°Good day sir.¡± A contingent of elven soldiers walked down from the second floor. They exited together. Since I was not under arrest, I figured they did not find that sword in our room. I brought the empty wine bowls, mazers, and sat down at the bar Having waited long enough, she spoke. ¡°I don¡¯t want to know why the Woodguard is after you. You and your girl have been good customers to me so far. But I suggest you move on, and soon.¡± ¡°That¡¯s good advice,¡± I said. ¡°Oh, and your rent cost just doubled.¡± ¡°Fair enough,¡± I said with a smile. I climbed the stairs back to our room. I didn¡¯t want to pack just yet, they¡¯d obviously be watching the roads for a bit. I was also exhausted, both by the game¡¯s rules and by real life. When I got back to the room, I immediately noticed that something was off. Bernadette was pale, and her brow shone with sweat. I felt her head. She was burning up. Damnit. Our little nap outside had got her sick. I made sure she drank from a waterskin. I lay in bed next to her. She put her forehead against my arm. I tried a Healing Phrase, but it didn¡¯t seem to help. Figured I¡¯d stay here a bit till I knew what to do. I texted Mark. Breznik: Hey, man, Bernie is sick. What should I do? Ailmer: find an apothecary. Or a cleric. Or a paladin, but those are rare. Breznik: I think there is an apothecary here Ailmer: good. They can¡¯t cure it, but it should make the illness pass quicker. I put my slate down, and thought for a bit. I ran down stairs, walked out into the street and searched around for an apothecary. A helpful stranger, a gnome, told me where the apothecary was, and my slate buzzed. A notification. I checked my quest tab on the slate. I had a new side quest that read ¡®get poultice for sick party member.¡¯ It gave a bunch of experience points. The map had a blue dot a couple miles away. I didn¡¯t really want to go alone, so I dipped back into the bar to talk to Darlara. ¡°Hey, so you know the apothecary? It¡¯s not a difficult trip is it?¡± Darlara sighed, tucked her bar rag into her apron. ¡°It didn¡¯t use to be. But we¡¯ve been losing goats on that path. Could be wolves. Could be something else.¡± ¡°Well,¡± I said, ¡°Shade is sick. So I should probably go anyway?¡± I didn¡¯t want to directly ask her what I needed, but she picked it up right away. ¡°Look, take G¡¯nash. He¡¯s bored here anyway. But he¡¯s my best man. I need him back with all his feet and hands, so don¡¯t do anything reckless.¡± I hadn¡¯t really been paying attention, but I made a wild guess. ¡°Nash is the guy up front?¡± ¡°You haven¡¯t talked to him?¡± ¡°He¡¯s kinda scary.¡± Her face softened in a way that seemed a little condescending. ¡°He¡¯s a sweetheart. Now go get him, so you two can be back before nightfall.¡± I went up front to go talk to the large orc. I explained why I needed him, and offered to pay him. He refused, said it was just the right thing to do. He grabbed his massive war axe, and we were on our way. Out on the road through the forest, more of a game trail really, we settled into a comfortable rhythm immediately. Despite having me beat by sixty or seventy pounds, his legs weren¡¯t actually much longer. He led, but I didn¡¯t fall much behind him. ¡°So, what do you think is out here?¡± I asked. ¡°Probably a wolf. Maybe a sick bear. Predators try to give this place a wide berth, but they¡¯ll come close if desperate.¡± ¡°That makes sense,¡± I said. Was this what it was like for Bernadette? I was traveling with someone, but I wasn¡¯t sure I could trust him. I wasn¡¯t sure if he had my back like she did. He seemed brave and strong. But what if when things get tough he runs? How had Bernadette gotten that burn on her back? And Sofia. How long had she waited, thinking that someone was coming for her? And then they never showed. Shit. I hadn¡¯t even told Bernie where I was going. If I died out here, would she ever know why? Or would she think I had just abandoned her? I tried to think of something else. We had a long walk ahead of us. Chapter 8 — My First Brush With the Void ¡°So, Nash, what are your people like?¡± I asked to keep my mind off what kind of nastiness was out here. ¡°I don¡¯t know much about orcs.¡± I took out my monocle as I asked this. It gave me the information ¡®Orc Bandit¡ª lvl 6, hp 35.¡¯ The monocle didn¡¯t even register his name. That was weird. The large orc laughed. ¡°It¡¯s G¡¯nash.¡± ¡°Ganash?¡± He stopped, and turned to me. Then enunciated slowly. ¡°GN-ush.¡± ¡°Nush?¡± ¡°Close enough,¡± he said with a smile that showed his tusks. You¡¯ll have to excuse my twang. It really had a hard time with his name. We continued walking. After some time he spoke again. ¡°What do you want to know? You want to know about my clan? About the Mountain Peoples in general? Orcs are what lowladers call us, but I don¡¯t call my family orcs.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know. I don¡¯t know what I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°How about you tell me about where you are from, so I know what you find important?¡± I thought for a moment, and picked my way through the trail with care. I may as well have just asked him ¡®tell me about Chinese people¡¯ or something. People generally appreciate questions about specific cultural things. But I had never even seen an orc before him. What would I want him to know about me, and my people? Well. I should start with Texas, I guessed. ¡°So, my people are from Texas.¡± ¡°¡®Teshas,¡¯ now that¡¯s a name.¡± ¡°Right. I actually don¡¯t know where that comes from.¡± I asked Rachel later, and she said it was from the Caddo people, filtered through Spanish. I¡¯d never met a Caddo person. If I still had access to the internet maybe I could have looked it up. ¡°But Texas,¡± I continued. It took me a while to translate terms in my head but eventually I said, ¡°it¡¯s very big. Part of the United States, a bunch of kingdoms without kings. We used to be farmers and ranchers. But now we¡¯re a very prosperous country with many ways of life. I was mostly a salesman.¡± ¡°Kingdom without a king. Interesting. I would say my people are similar. We have the all-moot, a collection of mothers who decide the important decisions that we must make as a people, but generally keep to our clans.¡± ¡°Interesting. I thought everyone had a king here.¡± ¡°Oh yes,¡± he said, ¡°many powerful Kings here, but they are not the only way. Gnomes don¡¯t have them. The Mountain People don¡¯t either.¡± There was something he wasn¡¯t saying. I got the feeling he didn¡¯t much like the elves. But I could also understand that this sort of talk could get us in trouble, were one of us untrustworthy. ¡°The all-moot sounds cool,¡± I said. ¡°Generally we have men run things where I¡¯m from.¡± This is a simplification, for sure. But all those male Texas governors didn¡¯t get there by accident. ¡°Why?¡± He stopped, and looked at me. ¡°That is also a thing with elves I noticed. Aren¡¯t your men warriors too?¡± ¡°I mean, some of them, yeah. But why should that have anything to do with it?¡± ¡°Warriors must learn to fight, to protect each other. They don¡¯t have time to understand the community as a whole. That is a woman¡¯s job. In decisions that involve the whole people, those that know most should lead.¡± ¡°That''s an interesting way to look at it, Nush.¡± We walked in silence for a bit. I wondered what would cause a man like him to live so far away from his family. I wondered what orc families were like. I also wondered how the hell he stayed so big eating this elven food. It was delicious, but not very protein rich. That¡¯s when we saw the corpse. The corpse in the road was that of a goat. G¡¯nash seemed concerned, and kept making a strange hand movement the longer we looked at it. The goat seemed relatively unscathed except for the neck, which was torn. Around the wound wrapped black necrotized flesh. Then it hit me where I¡¯d seen something like this. ¡°It sort of looks like a snake bite,¡± I said. He rubbed the stubble on his chin. ¡°It is far too large to be a snake bite. And the wound is irregular, not punctured.¡± He looked around, brown eyes scanning the trees around us. ¡°You wanting to move?¡± I asked. ¡°Let us get to this apothecary.¡± We trudged down the trail with haste. The apothecary¡¯s hut wasn¡¯t too much further. It was a small clay hovel in the side of a hill. The inside was cozy, with a nice fire in the hearth and hanging herbs that smelled medicinal, but not offensive. I described Bernadette¡¯s condition to the man, an older elven man with wild eyebrows, and he sold me a vial of some brackish liquid. On the way out, the sky was already reddening to dusk. The wind whipped in cold, and I pulled my jacket tighter. We walked back as quickly as we were able. ¡°Draw your sword,¡± G¡¯nash said. ¡°Just in case.¡± I drew my sword, and unslung my shield. He had his axe in his hands like always. ¡°What do you think is out there?¡± I asked. ¡°Let us save our breath. We may need it.¡± The sky deepened to twilight, and we stopped so that I could light a torch. He said he had good darkvision, but that the light would help keep animals away. He also didn¡¯t want me to twist an ankle. ¡°You¡¯ve got to tell me what you¡¯re afraid of,¡± I said, striking the flint, but not getting the torch on the first go. ¡°There is a thing called the voidsickness,¡± he said. ¡°Oh that sounds bad.¡± ¡°It is. It twists nature into something that only thinks to destroy. My people have dealt with it in the past. I didn¡¯t think it would find its way this far south.¡± ¡°What makes you think it could be here?¡± I asked. The torch lit. ¡°Hell yeah!¡± ¡°Shh. The animal that was killed. A bear would have taken it to its den. And the wound. Only the void corrupts the flesh so.¡± ¡°So if we come across this thing, don¡¯t let it touch us?¡± ¡°If we come across this thing,¡± he said. ¡°And I am hurt. You must kill me.¡± I didn¡¯t say anything, just nodded. I held the torch high, and we walked. It was truly dark now. I was tired. And at first I wasn¡¯t sure that what I was seeing was true. A purple light glowed in the distance. ¡°What is that?¡± I asked. ¡°Shh!¡± He crouched, and held his hand out to stop me. The light was further down the trail, and as it approached some of it became more clear. It almost seemed like branches at first, dark thin shapes against the glowing purple. But then I saw the six tines on either side ¡ª antlers. It was a hart, a deer, with a black fur coat that shimmered slightly iridescent against the purple flame that crowned its antlers. The thing was massive, maybe only four feet tall, but stocky as hell. Its all black sclera meant I couldn¡¯t tell what it was focusing on. This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there. ¡°Well,¡± I said, ¡°this is it, huh?¡± G''nash roared and charged. The hart snorted, and lowered its horns. The orc¡¯s battleaxe clashed with the creature¡¯s horns, and purple flame sprayed in all directions. The hart thrashed, seemingly less interested in bowling him over, rather than raking its antlers across him, backing up and thrusting, rather than running past and exposing its back. I had a shot at it. I thrust my sword into its haunches. It wheeled on me. I stumbled back. G''nash¡¯s axe made a crunching noise as it severed its leg at the knee. It was still going. Black ichor splattered along the ground as it thrashed with even more wild and dangerous movements. I hacked at its legs halfheartedly, but wasn¡¯t able to get a good shot in. The sound it made was a low groan. It didn¡¯t snort, or below anymore, just this low deep groan as it thrashed. I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand, and a chill crept across my shoulders. I didn¡¯t really know what to do. We needed to pin it down, but couldn¡¯t get in close without fear of facing its antlers. ¡°I¡¯m dropping the torch!¡± I yelled. ¡°Back up!¡± I dropped the torch. It still sputtered in the dirt, and threw light across the creature¡¯s hooves. I backed up and raised my shield just in time to feel a tine rack across it. My eyes struggled to adjust. Luckily, the purple fire meant I always knew where its antlers were. The orc swung wildly, keeping the dangerous creature just out of reach. But somehow I knew, even with a mortal injury, that this thing would not tire before us. Some profane force kept it fighting long past when it should have died. I led with my shield, rushing in. The antlers crashed into it, sending flame splashing at me, stinging my eyes, but I power through, getting just close enough. I stabbed with my sword, driving it through his neck. The creature¡¯s legs buckled. Now was my chance. I pumped my legs, driving it over and into the ground and pinned it there as it thrashed. G¡¯nash drove the axeblade into its belly. Ichor spilled across my pants. He struck it again. And again. I stood up and hacked at it too. It died. I just stood there for a moment. The orc looked at me with incredulity. ¡°You are a fine fighter, Breznik.¡± ¡°That thing would have killed me.¡± ¡°But you live!¡± We laughed. I don¡¯t know why but being alive, the relief was too much and we laughed. G¡¯nash suggested that we wash our clothes in the river before returning to Brindletree. The carcass of the voidsick deer would eventually be cleansed by a cleric from the village, but our clothes were something else. Even in the dark, even in the cold, he impressed upon me that it was worth braving some discomfort to first remove any trace of that vile blood. Built a fire in the wood next to a stream. The golden light rippled across the clear water. I washed first, then him. It was terribly cold, but I didn¡¯t sense any jeering at my body from the orc. I was never much used to this kind of thing. I was the kind of guy that changed in the locker room with my head down, and as fast as I could. Maybe it was different with guys that were on sports teams growing up, but I just never felt comfortable with other guys like that. After washing my body with some soap, and furiously scrubbing my clothes clean, we hung my clothes over the fire to dry and he took his turn. I didn¡¯t peek. But it didn¡¯t much matter, because when he was done, G¡¯nash sat right next to me on the log near the fire, and pulled me in right next to him. ¡°You seem uncomfortable, Breznik.¡± I just gave him a mortified glance. ¡°Ah! I see. I remember human countries get precious about nakedness. But there is nothing to do. If we get cold, and catch a sickness, this will all be for naught.¡± His body was warm next to mine, and I was grateful for it. But I also felt like maybe I would die from embarrassment. ¡°I think you¡¯re right,¡± I said. And I meant it. What else were we to do? ¡°Would you not do this for your friend? This Shade fellow?¡± ¡°She¡¯s a girl.¡± ¡°Ah! Yes. Hard to tell with the smaller ones.¡± ¡°Orc women are¡ª¡± ¡°Endowed with large breasts!¡± ¡°Right.¡± ¡°You have feelings for this girl?¡± The absolute last thing I ever imagined I would ever be doing is sitting naked on a log next to a green skinned man, talking about my feelings for Bernadette, but here I was. It was happening, and I had to deal with it. I thought back to our night holding each other for warmth against the tree. I would have done that for anyone. But I also know that that night meant something. It meant something to me at least. ¡°No. I don¡¯t know. Regardless I¡¯m not sure I¡¯d do this with her. I¡¯m not sure I wanted to do this with you.¡± ¡°I am sorry. But here we are. What can you do?¡± ¡°Right.¡± I put my arm around him. Now that the shock had passed, it wasn¡¯t so bad. I looked his body over, out of sheer curiosity if anything. My eyes slid right over his unmentionables, which I will leave to your imagination, and across his rippling abs that were truly impressive. Not shredded, but large and well defined like the rest of him. His shoulders were the most impressive, and it was hard not to imagine what incredible strength they must have. I briefly considered if I might be attracted to this man. After some consideration I was fairly sure I wasn¡¯t, but aesthetic beauty made you think. I just loved women too much for it to really give me any pause. And I knew that if this were me and Bernadette, I would be having a very different reaction to the closeness. ¡°You¡¯re big,¡± was the stupid boneheaded thing I said after that. ¡°I am indeed.¡± There was silence as the grasshoppers chirped, and I looked up at the stars. ¡°I do not know what to say,¡± he said after some time. ¡°Am I supposed to remark upon your body?¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to.¡± I was briefly curious about what he would say. What did he see? I was obviously not built like an orc. Even after all the exercise I had gotten, I still had a bit of a pouch on me. On account of all the booze, naturally. I had always been a little lanky, and anxious of how my long legs looked. I was pale, but could tan and was starting to get some. He just smiled and said, ¡°Then I will not.¡± I knew Bernadette said she didn¡¯t think these people were people. But how could you not? We¡¯d killed a monster together. We¡¯d laughed at a brush with death. We sat naked on a log together. I didn¡¯t know much about this other world, but now more than ever, I was determined to see these people as worthy of the lives they lived. I understood now why Caleb was so keen to protect them. We didn¡¯t talk much after that, and soon we were clothed and on the road. We didn¡¯t run but our clothes were still slightly damp, so we hoofed it at a near jog. I just hoped I could make it in time. Upon getting back, I administered the potion. Bernadette scrunched her face up after, but didn¡¯t complain. I was too exhausted to do much else, and so wrapped her in my arms and fell asleep. My slate dinged. I scooped it up. Two notifications. One said ¡®sidequest completed: find poultice for sick party member,¡¯ and the other said ¡®level 4 reached.¡¯ I mashed the plus sign next to my name and chose Bard for level 4. I then opened my spell primer and selected the new spell ¡®sleep.¡¯ And since I was feeling good, I texted Caleb. Breznick: Hey Caleb. Mark says you may know where Sofia is. Is that true? I didn¡¯t get a response right away. But after a couple minutes I got something. Caleb: His Royal Majesty Caleb the First, is busy. I, Braelyn, am answering his slate messages. What do you need? Breznik: Just what I said. Where¡¯s Sofia? Caleb: His Royal Majesty will make an announcement about Sorceress Inara in the group chat momentarily. He thanks you for your concern for his friend. 12:57pm ¡®Concern for his friend,¡¯ yeah I guess that¡¯s one way to put it. He¡¯s got a wife and kids now. He probably isn¡¯t gonna go around calling Sofia his girlfriend. I swiped back to my character sheet. Leveling up had just given me a new ability called ¡®Inspiring Words (+60% movement speed, 10% instant healing, and +30% extra damage modifier to a party member of your choice).¡¯ The ability seemed strong, but I found it strange that I didn¡¯t receive attribute points or a subclass yet. Subclasses were usually at level 3 and attributes at level 4. I gave in and texted the DM. Beznik: Hey, DM, why didn¡¯t I get attribute points at level up? He texted back immediately. DM: Nice to be considered. I could be so much more helpful if you just asked. DM: Attribute points are given at class level, not player level. Subclasses are also only given at class level. Both are a reflection of your greater proficiency at your chosen role. Breznik: Okay. Is there another way to increase my stats other than level up? DM: Sure. You could always get stronger the old fashioned way. Breznik: Thanks. DM: My pleasure. 1pm Read I sat up and practiced some Little Tricks. I was just able to get some sparks to fly from my fingers when my slate buzzed. There was a new message in the group chat ¡®Saviors of the World I Guess.¡¯ My heart raced. Even Bernadette woke up just enough to grab her slate. ¡°Saviors of the World I Guess¡± Caleb: I will endeavor to say as much as I know, presently. Please only ask questions after I am done. Caleb: The first ten or so years here I spent doing what good deeds I could, and fighting the forces of the Empire of Light and Shadow. In this time, I could not find Sofia. During the Battle of the Unspoken Word, I was able, with my retinue, to fight my way into the Keep of Shadows itself. There I found Sofia in the Clutches of Queen Tenenbria. Using her safety as a pawn against me, I was forced to retreat to save her life. There was a moment where nobody said anything. Caleb continued. Caleb: It is my understanding that she, in her capacity as Inara the Sorceress, has been working for them under duress, and providing them with great enchantments. Caleb: I hope you can now see why I am reluctant to talk about this. I do not want it known that the great hero Inara is working for evil. Her memory is a boon to the people. Caleb: You may ask questions now. There were a flurry of questions, but not very many satisfactory answers. Bernadette gave me a look I couldn¡¯t quite discern then went back to sleep. During all of this I received a direct message. It almost seemed too good to be true. I mashed the text before I could think otherwise. Inara: what he says is true, but he is leaving out some key details. If you meet me in Keep of Shadows, I can tell you the whole truth. But I do not trust these slates. And I do not trust the DM. Breznik: should I trust Caleb? Inara: Trust that Caleb will do what is best for himself. And trust that I have been alone for a long time. I am not who you remember. Beznik: I¡¯ll get you free. I promise. Inara: don¡¯t make promises you can¡¯t keep. Chapter 9 — Back on the Road ¡°Oh my god. If I see you obsessively check your phone one more time¡ª¡± ¡°But she texted me,¡± I said. ¡°Directly. Why me and not you? Or Rachel?¡± Bernadette had made a full recovery. All told, I had been here for two weeks, and she for three. While she recuperated, I¡¯d been practicing my new bard spells. I was pretty good at them, but I could really only cast three of the big ones every 4 or so hours. The spell slot system still didn¡¯t seem to make much sense for me. Lower level slots, like the ones I had were on an hour and a half timer per slot. But the at-will spells didn¡¯t use slots. But abilities like my Adrenaline Rush and Inspiring Word came back after a ten minute timer? My slate kept track of all this, but I was keen to make sense of it so I could use the abilities and spells optimally. If I hadn¡¯t had a use of the Healing Phrase when Bernie needed it¡­ ¡°Because she''s a narcissist, that¡¯s why,¡± Bernadette said. ¡°I had no idea until I joined your group, but holy shit, man. She had you all wrapped around her finger.¡± We were on the road again. Headed to a city called Amaryllis. On the map it was a small city right on a small skinny promontory of Throne territory squished between the Goblin Frontier and the Kingswood. Rachel had said that she needed to stop there for a sidequest. That was two days ago. We haven¡¯t heard from her since. ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡¯s fair,¡± I said. ¡°Yeah?¡± Bernie prodded. ¡°What, do you think it was really your idea to pay for her mom¡¯s plane ticket? Or hell, when Rachel wanted to join the group again, why did you say no the first time? ¡°I was worried that it wasn¡¯t the right¡ª¡± ¡°Also, what about how every time she had a crisis, it just so happened to be at the same time as something important to your ex?¡± ¡°How did you¡ª¡± ¡°That last part was a guess,¡± Bernadette laughed darkly. ¡°But, hey, I fell for that shit too. Hung on her every damn word. Now I got more important things to worry about. As do you.¡± I wasn¡¯t sure I bought this idea of Sofia being a master manipulator. Why? We weren¡¯t friends, not really. Or, I guess we were for a couple months before the Blue Door. Then my mind rewinded to the beginning of her sentence. ¡°Wait, you had a crush on her?¡± ¡°Zach,¡± she turned back and gave me a pointed look. ¡°You know I¡¯m bi.¡± ¡°I just thought you were friends.¡± ¡°Dude, I¡¯m a theater kid. You want to know how many bizarrely sapphic friendships I¡¯ve had?¡± ¡°One?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not one.¡± She let me chew on that for a bit, then tossed me her new sword, sheathed thankfully. ¡°Look at this!¡± I dropped it but fumbled it back into my hands before it hit the dirt. It was the one she had picked up from the Knight of Flowers. I checked my inventory to see its stats. It was listed as ¡®Thirsting Thorn +2.¡¯ The tooltip said ¡®a gift from the King in the Wood to knights who have distinguished themselves with valor beyond their sworn duty. For every critical hit done by the wielder, they are healed by 10%.¡¯ From my knowledge of the Game as it was before we got here, weapons only reached +3 in bonus. Though I think I remembered earlier versions of the game where they reached as high as +5. Living in the game instead of playing it, meant that all of this game data felt pretty abstract anyway. Stabs with a sword seemed pretty lethal regardless of bonus. But maybe that was because we were player characters? I decided that a +2 bonus was pretty good, regardless. Getting a better look at the sword, I could see that the enameled flowers on the crossguard were actually all red and purple roses entwined in thorny vines, and the pommel was set with a beautiful red gem the size of a walnut. I didn¡¯t know my gems but I guessed it probably wasn¡¯t a ruby. Maybe a garnet? I tossed the sword back, and she caught it effortlessly. Because of course she did. I just had the sword I started with, though thankfully we¡¯d gotten a sheath for it before we left. I¡¯d dropped the dwarven sword in my fight with the Knight of Flowers, and his sword I had accidentally left near the tree in our flight back to the road. I had to be better than that. I had to stop making these mistakes. ¡°It¡¯s a good sword,¡± I said. ¡°My back stabs count as critical hits, so I should get healed constantly through battle.¡± ¡°Amazing.¡± ¡°Well, that¡¯s the idea anyway. Against really tough targets one-on-one, it¡¯s practically useless. But with others providing a distraction?¡± ¡°Should be pretty strong.¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± I¡¯m not great at describing what travel is like. There was a lot of dirt, and a lot of trees. Damn leaves nearly covered the entire path, and stayed all soggy from last night''s rain. Both Bernie and I had brand new coats to warm us from the wind that steadily became more cold by the hour. It was still summer in Vesperalis, but that wouldn¡¯t hold forever. When we stopped to make camp, just a ways off the road, it was with a brand new tent. Bernadette wasn¡¯t too happy I¡¯d left our previous pack at the elven encampment, but we had plenty of money. Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings. And I was the one carrying the stuff anyway. She helped me out of my armor, and we tackled the tent together. It ended up being pretty easy to set up. After, we felt empowered to build a fire to cook a rabbit Bernie¡¯d killed. I had a crossbow too now, but I wasn¡¯t much of a shot with it. She said the fire was worth the risk, since the map said the chance of goblin ambush was low here. The rabbit was gamey, but we had salt to season with, so it tasted pretty good when it was all said and done. We didn¡¯t have a lot to talk about at first. Eventually, Bernie told a ghost story she had learned during her high school drama camp, and it reminded me how recent that was for her. Yeah, I was only four years older, but I hardly ever thought about high school. Unless it was Sofia. We felt the lack of anything to do pretty keenly. I resolved to get a deck of cards at the next town. I also felt that there was this huge gaping hole where we were avoiding talking about that night, the night where she almost died, and I¡¯d told her I needed her. It had felt true at the time. It probably was true. But it was one thing to feel it, and another to say it out loud as part of a magical healing spell. ¡°You probably still need a little more rest than I do,¡± I said after we¡¯d smothered the fire. ¡°So, I¡¯ll take the first watch and a little more.¡± ¡°Thanks,¡± she said. She lingered for a second like she was going to say something more. But soon the moment was gone, whatever it was, and she ducked into the tent. I walked around the perimeter of the camp for a bit. It was hard to see in the deep dusk, but once the moon was out it should be much better. I had decent night vision. Unless it was a new moon. Was it a new moon? These things didn¡¯t matter as much before, so I had no idea yet. Too cloudy. Eventually I found a good place to watch the trail coming in from the road, a log probably twenty or so feet from the tent. I whittled on a piece of wood for a bit. This one was a little dog. Maybe a horse? Whenever it was done I¡¯d set him along the road for another passerby to find. It wasn¡¯t long before I checked my messages. The last thing she¡¯d said was the same as before: ¡®don¡¯t make promises you can¡¯t keep.¡¯ What the hell did that mean? Rustling came from a bush to my left. I reached for my sword. I was a squirrel that had leapt out of the way of¡­ Bernadette. She sat on the log next to me. ¡°You scared me,¡± I said. ¡°I think I scared myself with that ghost story.¡± I laughed. She leaned her head on my shoulder. Then, she said, ¡°She¡¯s breadcrumbing you.¡± ¡°She was alone out here for thirty years before anyone else. She needs our help.¡± Bernadette looked up at me. ¡°Then why didn¡¯t she say that?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°I liked her a week ago, but we don¡¯t know who she is now. She could have become anyone.¡± The wind blew in cold, and she put her hands under my coat to warm them. Her fingers were like ice, even through my shift. I thought that maybe I should have left my gambeson on. ¡°It¡¯s cold out here. Come in the tent with me. I¡¯ll take over in a bit, but we shouldn¡¯t be out in the cold for too long.¡± It was much warmer in the tent. I sat on the edge of the bed roll, since I knew that there was plenty room on it, and she sat on the other end. ¡°We need a cover,¡± she said, while I continued to whittle, making sure the shavings fell into a neat pile. ¡°Some reason why we¡¯re traveling in Throne of Light territory.¡± ¡°You can sing, right?¡± ¡°Of course.¡± ¡°I guess we can be a band, or troubadours as they call it?¡± ¡°That¡¯s a good idea,¡± then after some thinking said, ¡°what songs do you know?¡± We went through some shared songs, singing bits to find out how our voices fit together. We had lots of overlap in 90s animated movie canon. I knew more pop songs and she knew more show tunes and classic musicals. I was a baritone, and she had a pretty impressive vocal range, but she seemed pretty comfortable as an alto. The songs we found fit us the best so far, were a blues song from the 90s, and a Rat Pack song that let me shine a little bit. I checked my phone and found it was well past midnight. ¡°I should probably head back out and watch.¡± ¡°Nah,¡± she replied. ¡°We¡¯re fine. Come take a nap with me first. I can tell you¡¯re tired.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t, I don¡¯t think,¡± I stammered. ¡°Oh shut up and get in here,¡± she said. ¡°Don¡¯t make a big deal out of it, we¡¯re cold and tired.¡± I got under the bedroll with her, and she laid her head on my shoulder and draped her arm over my chest. In one way, it felt fine, felt natural. In another, I was way too conscious of what her body felt like, and the layers of clothes between us or lack thereof. ¡°I can feel you thinking,¡± she said. ¡°Stop it, and get some rest. We¡¯re gonna need it. Just relax. We¡¯ve done this before.¡± ¡°But those other times,¡± I started to say, but cut myself off. Those other times what? What was different? That we had needed the closeness, and intimacy before so as to keep each other from spiraling into irreversible panic? What was happening now? I felt like I was always just moments from spiraling into paralysis, and panic all day every day. ¡°Those other times, what?¡± she asked, a hint of annoyance coloring her voice. ¡°Nothing. I don¡¯t know where I was going.¡± ¡°Good.¡± Soon I was just staring at the top of the tent, thinking but not really thinking at all. This was nice, her here with me like this. It was so nice. I could feel tears well in my eyes, and I blinked them back. Soon, she was asleep. Her breathing was soft, and warm against my chest. She was so small, but her body also felt very womanly, pressed against me like this. I thought back to our conversation on the road, before the fight at the elven camp. She¡¯d said that she was ¡®tiny, and cute, and honestly kinda sexy once people get past that, so guys get real possessive of me.¡¯ Yeah, that wasn¡¯t not what was happening. A warmth spread in my chest. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and never let her go, to keep her in the little box of my heart forever. Oh no, I was getting sappy. Oh, that was bad. She didn¡¯t open her eyes or stir much, but she murmured something. ¡°You¡¯re thinking again. Tell your brain to shut up.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± I said. She turned her body away from me but grabbed my other arm, like she was settling into a blanket. I turned onto my side too, following her lead. Now she was pressed against me in a different way. It was nice. I was suddenly very tired. I fell asleep. When I woke, the arm under her was asleep, but I felt much better ¡ª rested. I grabbed my slate. It was just past two in the morning. So, I¡¯d only slept for a couple hours. Despite the painful pins and needles, man, I felt like I could take on the world. I climbed out of the bedroll. She seemed to barely notice, pulling the cover higher up past her neck. She snored. I put my gambeson on for extra warmth and shrugged into my coat, then slipped out of the tent into the night. The moon wasn¡¯t full, but it was bright. I shouldered my crossbow, and slowly walked around the tent, sweeping my eyes through the trees. I tried not to be obsessive about it, but I checked my phone again. No new messages from Rachel or Sofia. And no new messages an hour and a half later either. When I looked up from my slate, it was just in time to see a streak of light zip through the forest and slam directly into my chest. I felt whatever it was bounce off me. Instinctively I cupped my hands just in time to catch it. It was a person. A tiny, three inch high, little guy with bug wings. ¡°He¡¯s gonna eat me!¡± the little guy screamed in a high pitched voice. Crashing through the brush came a goblin, fork in one hand, knife in the other. ¡°Huh.¡± Chapter 10 — One Strange Thing After Another I grabbed the crossbow with one hand, held the little guy with the other. Pixie? Is that what he was? Sprite. No clue. I fired from the hip at the goblin. The bolt zipped right over his head. So, bad idea Zach, don¡¯t hip fire. You¡¯re not a cowboy, you idiot. The sprite flew up, and hid behind me somewhere. The goblin sprang forward, knife raised. I kicked him in the face and he rolled backward. I fumbled with my bolt, but eventually shoved it in place. The goblin got to his feet. I pulled on the crank as hard as I could. I wasn¡¯t sure I¡¯d get the tension locked in time. A knife zipped past my shoulder, and buried itself in the creature¡¯s eye. The goblin fell over, dead. I turned to the tent. Bernie had a second knife in her hand, just in case. ¡°How many of them are there?¡± I asked the sprite. ¡°Ah, I think that¡¯s it,¡± he said, looking around, panicked. ¡°Where are the rest?¡± ¡°Um. Uh. They¡¯re just down the road. I think, trying to set an ambush for the morning.¡± I looked to Bernie. ¡°I¡¯ll start packing up,¡± she said. I¡¯d only gotten two hours of sleep. Bernie had gotten, if she¡¯d slept that first time, probably about six or seven. ¡°What''s your name?¡± I asked. ¡°Why do you want to know?¡± the sprite replied, peering at me suspiciously. ¡°Do I just call you sprite?¡± ¡°Ugh, gods no. I¡¯m a pixie.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± I stared at the pixie. I was using male pronouns in my head, but other than the leafy loincloth, it wasn¡¯t immediately clear if they were a man or woman. Like, being shirtless, you would think it was easy to tell, but real living creatures didn''t always have the proportions of an action figure or doll. ¡°You cool with the pronoun conversation?¡± I asked. ¡°You like, a dude?¡± ¡°Do I look like a dude?¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°Nice!¡± ¡°No, I mean, what do people call you other than your name?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know, most people just go ¡®hey, you! Leave that alone!¡¯¡± I scratched my head. At this point I couldn¡¯t put my finger on why they were being so evasive about their identity, but I figured it probably had something to do with their pixie nature. Most people don¡¯t dance around this kind of stuff for so long. I just resolved to use a gender neutral pronoun in my head for ease of use. Rachel once took me to task for always trying to figure out ¡®what that guy was¡¯ every time I bumped into an ambiguously presented person in Austin. At the end of the day, you can always just use someone¡¯s name, and if you don¡¯t know that, it probably doesn¡¯t matter anyway. Ambiguity was annoying, but was also sort of how the world works, yeah? ¡°Would you mind telling me your name?¡± I asked, moving on. I tried not to pat myself on the back for it. ¡°You asking for it?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Names are a big deal with my people. I¡¯m not just gonna hand out my name to any old kid. But you can call me Robin,¡± they said with a mischievous smile. ¡°Alright Robin, since I rescued you from certain death¡ª¡± Bernadette cleared her throat pointedly. ¡°She rescued you from certain death,¡± I clarified. ¡°And you did us a favor letting us know about the goblin ambush. We could part ways, or we could see this as an opportunity.¡± ¡°For what?¡± Robin asked, buzzing up and down hesitantly. ¡°You¡¯re small, and I assume you can dim your shine if you need to.¡± ¡°I can¡­¡± ¡°Having a three inch high spy that can scout ahead would be very valuable.¡± ¡°Three and a half, thank you very much.¡± ¡°Right. I can see that now,¡± I said. ¡°What do you think about working for us?¡± ¡°You¡¯ll pay me?¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°Ugh.¡± ¡°Would you rather something else? Well, I mean, what could we offer you for your help?¡± ¡°I wouldn¡¯t mind a hat,¡± Robin said, rubbing their chin, and listing to the side in the air, like a boat with a leak, while they thought. ¡°Can you make a hat?¡± ¡°A pixie sized one?¡± I asked, thinking about the suture kit I had in my bag. ¡°I think so.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s start there!¡± ¡°Yeah?¡± I said, holding my hand out for a pixie sized high five. Robin flew into my hand and slapped it with both of theirs. ¡°Yeah!¡± You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author. ¡°What do you think, Bernie?¡± ¡°I think it could help,¡± she said, tying the bedroll to my pack. ¡°Cool!¡± Robin said. ¡°I¡¯ll be back when you least expect it!¡± They shot off. ¡°Wait, aren¡¯t you traveling with us?¡± Robin flew back and sputtered like a horse. ¡°Of course not! If I stick around, I can¡¯t surprise you!¡± ¡°But I thought¡ª¡± ¡°Bye! Hope you don¡¯t die!¡± Robin rocketed away. I wasn¡¯t sure if that was a good or a bad thing. I helped Bernie get the camp packed. It didn¡¯t take long, but I was starting to get tired. It was one thing to drag yourself to class hungover on two hours of sleep as a college freshman. It was something else to hump a forty pound pack uphill on two hours of sleep. We worked our way through the woods as light crept into the sky. I kept to Bernie¡¯s right while she kept the road to her left. She was pretty good at the stalking thing. I jingled with my chainmail, and stepped on more sticks than I missed. Eventually, we came upon the goblins, camped just a little off the road like we had. ¡°Okay,¡± she whispered, ¡°let¡¯s leave the pack here. I¡¯ll sneak up without you and take out a couple that look exposed then come back and we can rush them together. If I get in trouble, I¡¯ll call for help.¡± ¡°Okay. Wait. What¡¯s the call for help? What signal are we using?¡± Bernadette did sarcastic jazz hands and whispered, ¡°help, oh help!¡± ¡°Got it.¡± She slunk off into the early morning shadows. The goblin camp was really just six tents and a low fire. I stayed crouched in a bush and watched. One goblin rounded a tree. Bernie covered his mouth, and slit his throat with her new sword, lowering him to the ground softly. Then she was gone. I waited and watched. I wasn¡¯t able to see her very well, but I saw the goblins disappear one by one. There were more goblins here than I thought. Then I heard her say, ¡°shit. Help! Damn it. Help!¡± I started running. They¡¯d caught her between the tents, three of them with swords and two of them with bows. I stopped, fired my crossbow, saw that it hit one of the bow goblins, then kept running. I drew my sword, crashing through the brush. Adrenaline Rush: the goblins glowed red and Bernadette blue. They all seemed to slow. Let¡¯s try an Inspiring Words. ¡°I believe in you!¡± I said. She slipped around a swipe from a goblin, suddenly much faster, and drove her sword through his neck. I smiled. It worked. I crashed into the last bow goblin, sending him to the dirt and leaves, then stabbing him without stopping. Next, I slammed into the closest sword goblin, and pushed him into another. Bernie slew two more before the ability ran out. One left. He threw himself prostrate and screamed, ¡°not yet, not yet! Let me speak!¡± Bernadette held back the killing blow. I stood there not sure what to do. I kept my head on a swivel and tried to make sure we weren¡¯t ambushed. ¡°Talk,¡± she said. ¡°Okay!¡± the goblin screeched. ¡°So, you need to kill me soon, but I don¡¯t like how stabbings feel. Give me a sec to be ready for it.¡± ¡°Oh, it¡¯s coming,¡± she said through clenched teeth. ¡°Look, I¡¯m not really a goblin. I mean I am, but only til I die.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± I said, not understanding at all. ¡°You¡¯ll understand later,¡± he said, smiling a wide goblin grin. ¡°I¡¯m not in a good position to pull off any tricks the DM can¡¯t just undo, not with this body. But I figured out where he stays.¡± ¡°Do NPCs know about the DM?¡± Bernie asked, looking at me. ¡°I have no idea,¡± I admitted. I fished out the monocle and popped it over an eye. The notation marked all the dead goblins as ¡®Goblin¡ª corpse.¡¯ The last living one, just had a smudge of broken pixels where his name should be. So, that didn¡¯t help. ¡°Yeah they aren¡¯t really NPCs,¡± he said. ¡°The people of this world, but they also ain¡¯t like you. Anyway. Tell your buddy, Ailmer, that he lives in the Western Lighthouse. He¡¯ll know what you mean.¡± ¡°You¡¯re not making any sense,¡± I said. ¡°Oh, and don¡¯t message him this. You got to tell him yourself.¡± ¡°How do you know all this?¡± she asked. ¡°That¡¯ll take too long to explain. You can kill me now.¡± I looked to Bernie. She shrugged. ¡°You need the Experience,¡± she said. I ran the goblin through with my sword. ¡°Hurts. Every. Time,¡± the goblin said, crumpling to the ground. ¡°See you¡­ later.¡± Then he died. ¡°I think I sorta get it,¡± Bernadette said. ¡°He¡¯s rebelling against the DM?¡± ¡°Yeah, but why?¡± I asked. ¡°And how would he know? And who was he?¡± ¡°Maybe we shouldn¡¯t have killed him,¡± Bernadette admitted. ¡°Nah. They were just trying to kill us. Could have been some bizarre ploy.¡± I put ¡®tell Mark about Lighthouse¡¯ in the notes section of the quest tab on my slate, anyway, just in case. I had now had two of the strangest conversations I had ever had in as many hours, right in a row. But I was sure that it would all make sense eventually. After piling the goblins into a pile, burning them, and moving through the forest for an hour, we set the tent back up so I could get some sleep. We didn¡¯t talk much, which I was grateful for given my splitting headache, while we set up camp. Bernie said she¡¯d keep watch. I passed out, and slept for three hours. I woke up to her singing. It was that Rat Pack song we liked. Then, I joined her. She laughed. She had blood on her cheek still, but she was radiant. I was stunned. The sunlight through the trees dappled the skin of her face and neck like it did the wavetops at sunset during summer break on the Texas beach back home, and I was there, loving her face and neck, and back home too, looking out over the water at the same time. I was here now, with her, and I was also home in the past loving the sun and loving my freedom. And for a moment it felt like she was home, and she was freedom wrapped up all in one person. But that wasn¡¯t true. She was just Bernadette. She was just a girl. She couldn¡¯t be anything more. Damnit, Zach. You¡¯ve got to figure out how to love somebody without making them your world. My mind raced. Did I do this every time? I thought back to Rachel, meeting her on the bus as an awkward fourteen year old kid. She was being pestered by another girl, older. I said something mean to her, chased her off. We played video games together at the arcade for my birthday ¡ª yeah they still had those ¡ª and spent damn near a hundred dollars on one cabinet. She¡¯d gotten her boobs early, and I had a huge crush on her. Asked her for a kiss one day, and she said ¡®why?,¡¯ and the next time she brought it up, we laughed about it. And it didn¡¯t hurt so much. And soon I hardly thought about it at all. Of course, next I thought of Sofia, sketching some kind of animal person, alone in the cafeteria. We talked for hours on the phone for weeks. Then she got a part in the play, and never again. Not until that choir trip. She¡¯d ditched the rest of the class to cut herself, but put the razor away when I rounded the corner. I talked to her about her family, about the expectations she had put on herself, then she kissed me on the lips ¡ª quick but it didn¡¯t need to be long to get my attention. She said ¡®I wasn¡¯t going to really do anything,¡¯ then I didn¡¯t see her again til college, but damn did I follow her on socials. That moment was just who she was at the time, and it had nothing to do with me. Didn¡¯t feel like it. Damn, it felt like destiny. Then was my college girlfriend, Marina. But we were never friends. In my head, I¡¯m some white knight saving these girls. But they didn¡¯t need that. They didn¡¯t want that. They just wanted a friend. You are allowed to love your friend. Bernadette is my friend now. Don¡¯t be weird. ¡°What?¡± she asked. Quizzical, but still laughing. ¡°Nothing. I¡¯m just thinking about Baytown, where I¡¯m from.¡± She got a little more serious. ¡°You miss home?¡± ¡°A little. Austin is great. Here is¡­ interesting?¡± ¡°Sure is,¡± she laughed. ¡°But I don¡¯t know if I miss home as much as the person who got to be home. What about you? You¡¯re from Kansas City right? You miss Kansas?¡± ¡°Missouri.¡± ¡°No shit? Why is it called Kansas City then?¡± ¡°Let¡¯s just get this place packed up.¡± Chapter 11 — We Search for Rachel We got the camp back on my back, and we headed out. That day, we ran into bandits. ¡°Stand and deliver your valuables!¡± one said. Bernadette answered with a knife throw. We tussled for a bit, and they ran off. The one dead bandit had 20 silver pieces, 5 copper, a crossbow we didn¡¯t need, some bolts, and a curious necklace ¡ª a black lion on a silver medallion. More on that later. Much later. That night we practiced our songs. I suggested we put them together into some kind of narrative, but she said we didn¡¯t have time, or enough players. I eventually agreed. I held her for a bit, in a way that felt routine, but also made my heart ache like somebody had kicked me in the chest. Later, I took first watch. This time, it was uneventful. I had a strange feeling that someone else was watching me too. I chalked that up to paranoia and exhaustion. But I did live in a world of magic, so who knows. When it was her turn for watch, I stayed up thinking for a while, but was able to get some sleep eventually. In the morning, I saw her talking to Robin. The pixie was in the palm of her hand gesticulating. ¡°And they round up anybody that so much as looks at them funny!¡± they said. ¡°I barely got out with my life!¡± ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s messed up,¡± Bernie said politely. ¡°Hey, you!¡± I said with a wave. ¡°Hey, hero guy,¡± they said. ¡°His name is Zach,¡± Bernie said in a stage whisper. ¡°Thanks,¡± Robin replied with an exaggerated wink. ¡°What did you find?¡± I asked. They flew over to me, and gave me the lowdown. Amaryllis was a city with an incredible presence of watchmen that guarded it, and apparently they were hyper vigilant. Robin thought it may have something to do with the fact that at least one Knight of the Word was there, someone called Captain Wen. Everyone from shopkeepers to children acted as if they were scared of making a single misstep. Robin couldn¡¯t find any mention of Rachel. ¡°And then this skank sprite said they wouldn¡¯t give me the time of day!¡± ¡°I thought you thought sprites were gross?¡± I asked. ¡°Yeah,¡± they said with a flirty shrug, ¡°well sometimes I¡¯m looking for gross, if you know what I mean.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± I said, a little embarrassed, ¡°anything else?¡± ¡°Yeah! Apparently the street tacos aren¡¯t always made with quail, sometimes it¡¯s pigeons!¡± ¡°Tacos?¡± I asked. I wasn¡¯t sure I had heard them right. ¡°Okay, thanks bye!¡± They said, then flew off again with their new hat that I¡¯d sown together from a scrap of cloth during watch. I turned to Bernadette. ¡°This place has tacos?¡± She shrugged bewilderedly. We broke camp and set out. ¡°You know Robin offered to be my patron,¡± she said out of the blue, the leaves rolling down the trail at our feet. ¡°Like, patron, as in the Game, or patron, like money?¡± ¡°In the Game,¡± she clarified. ¡°You already took the deal,¡± I said. ¡°Yeah.¡± I thought about this for a bit. This means we both took magic classes as a multiclass. I think we both understood how strong magic was, but she had five levels of rogue first as a stronger base to just my two levels of fighter. Man. We really needed Rachel. Neither of us did well in a fair fight. My mind went back to that moment in the tent with the Knight of Flowers. It could have ended there. Then my ADHD kicked in and I thought about what kind of Warlock Bernie had become. ¡°You know what kind of Warlock you are?¡± I asked. ¡°Yeah, a Fey Warlock.¡± ¡°Yeah, but like, your patron.¡± ¡°What are you getting at?¡± ¡°You¡¯re a Manic Pixie Dream Girl now.¡± ¡°Oh, no,¡± she said horrified. ¡°Oh god no. I¡¯m not!¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I said, a big smile taking over my face, ¡°I think you¡¯re pretty dreamy.¡± ¡°Robin!¡± she yelled into the forest, ¡°I take it back! I don¡¯t want it anymore!¡± ¡°I¡¯m just joking,¡± I said. ¡°You better be! Things are pretty cool with us right now, but if you start talking about ¡®seeing the beauty in life,¡¯ or ¡®learning to live in the moment,¡¯ I¡¯m gonna stab you so hard! And I won¡¯t feel bad about it either, because I know you can heal!¡± ¡°Noted!¡± I said, patting the air in defeat. Eventually, we found a place to rest and she showed me her new stats on her slate. Shade the level 5 Assassin Rogue and level 1 Fey Warlock. Hit Points 31, Armor Class 15 (leather armor) STR 7 (-2) DEX 18 (+4) CON 12 (+1) INT 13 (+1) WIS 10 (+0) CHA 18 (+4) Items: Thirsting Thorn +2, crossbow of piercing +1, dagger of tracking +1, leather armor, 17 throwing daggers, 2 combat knives, 1 ration, 1 flint and tinder box, charcoal, 3 sheets loose paper Abilities from rogue: Backstab (+150% additional damage against targets from behind or against targets that are otherwise distracted), Assassinate (triple backstab damage against targets that do not identify you as a threat), Beguiling Allure (double proficiency bonus to charisma checks against the opposite sex) Abilities from warlock: Fey Sight (see farther and through dim light or darkness), Spiderwalk (walk on vertical surfaces and even upside down), Charm (one use of the charm spell per day) Skills: Acrobatics, Deception, Investigate, Seduction, Sleight of Hand, Stealth I handed her slate back and we took turns drinking from a water skin. Later, she showed her spiderwalk feature by putting her foot on the trunk of a tree then walking to stand horizontally, completely defying gravity. Man, did that seem useful. Not sure I wanted to make a pact with a fairy to do it though. Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel. I had my own spells. The rest of the hike was hard, but we were in good spirits. The front gates of Amaryllis were huge metal and wood portcullis set in a high brick wall. The guards were only four strong. Maybe there were more past the portcullis. We submitted our bags to inspection, and they confiscated our crossbows and bolts. They also made Bernie put her daggers in her bag. Bernadette was fuming mad. I mostly kept it cool. They let us keep our swords, interestingly enough. Said a side weapon was allowed, as long as we kept them sheathed, and that we needed to exit this direction if we wanted our other weapons back. Our ticket, so to speak, was a scroll with the seal of the Throne of Light itself. It was a blocky, stylized seat, seemingly made of some kind of stone or crystal, with rays emanating to the sky. A guard had scribbled our names in a book, and we were free to go. Bernie mentioned that she was keen to try out her new charm spell but that it would only work on one person at a time, and so was useless at the gate. The city itself was marvelous. Stucco and beam facades shone white and blue in the afternoon light. A charming red brick tavern greeted us down the lane. People walked here and there, but everyone kept their faces down. Guards strolled in pairs past every corner, their black and gold tabards fluttering in the breeze. A cart with a portable stove bolted to it had what looked like hanging roasted chickens across a stick at the top. The cart said ¡®takos¡¯ in a kind of english on the side. ¡°I guess these are the aforementioned tacos,¡± I said. Bernadette shrugged. She still seemed a little put off by the loss of her magic crossbow. Upon approaching the food cart, we were greeted first by a strange pink dragon creature, then the splendid smell of the roasted fowl. It had been days since we had the rabbit on the trail. Fresh herbs and onions had been prepared in little cups. I was ready. My stomach growled. ¡°Takos! You want tasty takos, yes!¡± the creature called. The creature must have been standing on a stool or something as they were very small, about sized like the goblins we had fought. Its pointy snout sniffed the air involuntarily. Bernadette brightened a bit at the sight of the creature. ¡°Are you a kobold?¡± she asked. ¡°I could be. You have coin?¡± ¡°We do,¡± I said. He held his scally hand out, while his tail pointed to a sign that said ¡®two takos for a copper.¡¯ I dropped a copper into his hand, and a second creature leapt from the cart, and began to shave pieces of the hanging bird with a knife, while the first tossed a kind of tortilla shaped thing on the grill. A third juggled kitchen utensils and waggled his brow. What a show. In a matter of seconds we had piping hot tacos for each of us. It smelled like heaven. I didn¡¯t care if they were pigeons or not. I bit into the taco and a burst of flavor brought an involuntary sigh. There were no tomatoes, but the fresh onion and the mild peppers gave it the crunch it needed. And the bird tasted enough like quail that I didn¡¯t mind not knowing exactly either way. They had roasted it perfectly. The tortilla was some kind of flour, though a little rougher than I was used to. Maybe larger grains. ¡°This is so good,¡± I said. Bernadette nodded as she chewed her own. ¡°Hey,¡± I started, ¡°you know anything about this town?¡± ¡°Nope,¡± said the first kobold. ¡°First time here.¡± ¡°Second time here,¡± said the other. ¡°Here only sometime,¡± said the third. ¡°Right, so where did you get the recipe?¡± I asked. ¡°My great-grandma started business. She dead now.¡± The second kobold interrupted him, saying that it was actually ¡®his great grandma.¡¯ The third whacked him on the head with a spatula. ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I said, because what else was I supposed to say? ¡°Where do you think she learned it?¡± ¡°Family secret,¡± said the first. My mind went to Caleb, who may have come to this place thirty years ago. Maybe it had spread from him? How old did kobolds get? Or maybe tacos were an independent invention that just happened to be named the same. We paid for two more tacos, thanked the kobolds and walked toward the tavern, as they began putting cups in the cart. In moments the whole thing was shut down, and they wheeled the cart off to another location. I waved to two guards as we walked and finished our food, and they waved back cheerfully. Our hands were horribly greasy, but we wiped them on our pants. I was still pretty hungry, but I could feel a sense of satisfaction spread from my belly to my whole body. Man, I loved meat. Stupid elves, and their cheese bread, and onion soups. If it indeed was Caleb who brought tacos here, I thanked him. We walked around the city a bit, just trying to get a lay of the land. The more official buildings, like the courthouse, and the Sheriffs¡¯ estate were huge marble things, very neoclassical. Reminded me of a lot of the government buildings back home. Eventually, after a couple hours, we made it to a tavern that looked nice and clean. The place had a sign with five stars on it, one much bigger than the others. Inside was packed with people, but conversation was hushed. A carved relief of a woman hung over the fireplace. She looked familiar, but I couldn¡¯t place who it was. A dart board with a neat row of darts sat unused in the corner. It was probably too early for the after work crowd, so why all of these people? I walked up to the bar. My eye caught the elegant mythril blade hung above the kegs. Then I saw the woman, and was startled by her face. ¡°Are you¡ª¡± I began to ask. ¡°Denyla,¡± she said, cutting me off. ¡°You are traveling up from the South?¡± ¡°Yes, how did you know?¡± ¡°My twin sister works at the Sword-Bearing Squirrel.¡± ¡°Oh! That makes sense!¡± Denyla gave a knowing smile, and asked what she should get for us. Bernadette spoke first, sliding a gold coin over to her. ¡°Two ales and a question.¡± The beautiful elven woman took the coin, then pocketed it. She, like her sister, had an alluring spray of freckles across her ample cleavage. ¡°Two ales coming right up,¡± she said. Bernie leaned in and whispered, ¡°she cut her eyes behind you. Don¡¯t look. I clocked them on the way in. Two guards in black cloaks in the corner.¡± I nodded. Curse my gosh darn male libido. I was too busy staring at the bartender¡¯s boobs to notice the plainclothes cops in the corner. Denyla slid the drinks to us and waited expectantly, suddenly nervous. I took a sip of the ale. It was a little too warm. Bernie leaned in. ¡°Woman named Oriana may have passed through here with an adventuring crew. Any word on where she was headed?¡± she asked, using Rachel¡¯s adventuring name. ¡°No, ma¡¯am,¡± said Denyla. ¡°Adventurers tend to stay away from Amaryllis. The Throne likes to take care of problems in its own way, so there generally is not any work for them here.¡± ¡°What about goblin attacks?¡± I asked. ¡°The Throne fears no goblins,¡± Denyla said with a smile. ¡°Thank you,¡± Bernie said. The bartender paced away, and started wiping down the bar from the furthest end from us. As soon as her back turned I chilled my ale with a Little Tricks spell. My eyes went back to that sword. I wasn¡¯t sure but it looked an awful lot like the one hung above the forge in the Squirrel. I¡¯d spent hours looking at that thing. Now, where had I seen the woman above the hearth? It looked like Sofia, but couldn¡¯t be. So who was it? Well, maybe it was Inara from her adventuring days. What kind of life had she had before being forced to serve evil? ¡°I¡¯m gonna go ¡®talk¡¯ to the guards we met on the way in.¡± ¡°Bernie,¡± I warned. ¡°If you¡¯re doing what I think you¡¯re doing¡ª¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know what you think I¡¯m doing, but I won¡¯t be gone longer than an hour. Stay here. Maybe take a bath.¡± I sighed. She was probably going to grab our crossbows. If she wound up in jail I was going to be in big trouble. But I was worried that if I went with her, I may draw too much attention. I wasn¡¯t sneaky like her, and I wasn¡¯t as persuasive. On the other hand, if she wound up in jail maybe she¡¯d get word about Rachel. Hell, maybe they¡¯d toss her in the same cell. Then I could rescue them both. ¡°Back soon,¡± she said, kissing me on the cheek, and slipping away. I sipped my ale, and pulled out my slate. I texted Caleb on a whim. Breznik: Did you bring tacos to Vesperalis? 3:00pm He didn¡¯t text back immediately. I finished my ale, chatted with Denyla a bit, she was less of a conversationalist than her sister but maybe a bit more flirty with her posture, leaning over the counter, batting her eyelashes, that sort of thing. I knew it was an old bartender trick to get me to spend more coin, but it worked. The slate buzzed. Caleb: his majesty, when asked about the invention of tacos, says ¡®I¡¯ve introduced them to the castle, but haven¡¯t heard of them served elsewhere. It could be possible, but certainly not intentional on my end.¡¯ Caleb: Do you have any other queries? Breznick: no thanks. Appreciate it. 3:31pm That was a frustratingly vague answer. I thought it was gonna be an easy ¡®yes.¡¯ I took a bath, and returned to the bar. Denyla served me a sandwich very similar to a reuben, sliced beef with some kind of fermented cabbage. It was delicious. It was my first bit of beef since I¡¯d come to Vesperalis. I tried not to gush about how good it was. ¡°You don¡¯t understand, the elves just have lamb. And so many types of mushrooms. God, I could go months without ever seeing a mushroom again.¡± ¡°We¡¯re blessed that the Throne is able to keep us with plentiful beef, even out here,¡± Denyla said. My slate buzzed again. Expecting it to be Caleb, I pulled it out without thinking. Oriana: where are you? 4:07pm I muttered a curse under my breath and tried to angle my slate away from Denyla. Not that I thought she was gonna turn me in or anything. If she was anything like her sister, she was likely trustworthy. I tapped a message back quickly. Breznik: at a tavern called ¡®the five stars.¡¯ Oriana: great. Goddamned cop bar. Stay there. I¡¯ll come get you. Oriana: be ready for a fight. 4:08pm I cursed again, and looked up just in time to see three more figures walk through the door, silver chainmail twinkling, and black and gold tabards peeking from underneath their cloaks. Chapter 12 — Rachel Got Hands Chapter 12 The guards approached and sat next to me. I figured I may as well use my ¡®social drinking skill,¡¯ paid for a round of ales for them and stood. Oh no. I was drunk. Funny how you don¡¯t catch that til you stand. I put on my best smile, and sat next to the biggest one. ¡°Breznik,¡± I said by way of introduction. ¡°I hear that the Amaryllis guard is the finest militia in the Throne Territories.¡± The big guard didn¡¯t give me his name but replied, ¡°out of towner, huh?¡± I just smiled wide, and tried to look stupid. ¡°Throne territories don¡¯t have militia,¡± he continued. ¡°We¡¯re all the queen¡¯s men. Commissioned all of us.¡± ¡°Well,¡± I responded with my best ¡®I¡¯m so impressed voice,¡¯ ¡°I guess that makes you all gods-damned professionals.¡± ¡°You¡¯re damn right!¡± he said with a cheer, taking a swig of ale. Whoof. I almost beefed that. Where was Bernadette? Where was Rachel? I think I could keep these guys busy enough that they don¡¯t ask as many questions about who I was, and what I was doing here, but I wasn¡¯t a good liar. I was bound to blow my cover at some point. Any time they asked me what I was doing in town, I made some noises about traveling through on the way south, looking for work, and turned the question around on to them about the area. Didn¡¯t learn much, other than these guys worked the late shift ¡ª there was a late shift from midnight to six in the morning ¡ª and they had all just woken up from a nap. I also learned that everyone was stressed the hell out because of Captain Wen¡¯s closer supervision. She¡¯d been traveling somewhere on some important mission for the Throne for years, and only just returned to guard work. The consensus was that she needed to chill out, and maybe get laid or something. This smacked of misogyny to me, but Captain Wen also sounded like a fascist, royalist ¡ª whatever ¡ª so I wasn¡¯t too worried about defending her honor. And anyway if I expressed any discomfort with the way they talked about women, they may find me less chill. I learned this lesson pretty quick, when I tried to hang out with friends from Baytown once. They said that I was ¡®being a fag.¡¯ Which, If I gave a shit about what they thought anymore, then maybe I would¡¯ve been hurt. Suddenly a slam brought my attention to the entrance. The door flew open, and in walked the most badass woman I¡¯d ever seen. She was all of 5 foot 6¡±, but stood like a 12 foot tall giant. Her outfit looked surprisingly simple, almost modern: soft buckskin ankle boots with ripped black hose, shorts, black cotton shirt torn sleeveless under a forest green vest. I¡¯d probably seen something like this at a ren fair when people wanted to dress for comfort. The belt though ¡ª a huge belt, almost like a weight trainer¡¯s belt, embellished with beautiful gold trim in contrast to the leather, was strapped crossways across her chest. She also wore thick brown gloves that reached her mid forearm, much like something I¡¯d expect a metal worker to wear. These were also embellished with gold stitching. Oh, and the most important thing was that she was dressed head-to-toe in the blood of her enemies. She brushed her hair from her face into a greasy mullet and said, ¡°you son of a bitch.¡± I stood up, arms out for a hug. ¡°Rachel!¡± ¡°Not yet,¡± she replied, pointing. The guards behind me stood too. ¡°It¡¯s the traitor! Get her!¡± I drew my sword, ran it through the neck of the first one, and all hell broke loose. Rachel dashed as fast as she could toward me. I tore my sword free. Blinding pain filled my vision before I could turn around. I¡¯d been struck on the back of the head. I ran forward to put some distance between me and the guards. Patrons fled the tavern. Denyla ducked behind the bar. Rachel ran past me and slid to a halt just in time to punch a man right in his jaw. The thing that happened to his face was truly a terror. His jaw dislocated so much that it was essentially free floating in a bag of skin, and the bones of his face sunk into his skull. A kick crumpled his chest, and he flew ten feet into a table. ¡°How did you do that?¡± I yelled. ¡°The belt!¡± she said, right before a barstool shattered against her arm and face. Right. She must have magic items like us. I got my shield out just in time to deflect a crossbow bolt from a guard in the corner. Bernadette leapt from the shadows, and stabbed him from behind. Three more guards rushed in from the street with swords drawn. Time slowed. They all glowed red. I ran to meet them. The first guard stood no chance as I plunged the blade through the gap in his armor at his armpit. The blade stuck there and held fast. I yanked on it. It stayed. They glowed pink now. I didn¡¯t have time. Letting go of my blade, I put my shoulder behind my shield, and rammed into the second guard. He held firm and didn¡¯t budge. And then the world returned to its normal speed, and my shield was ripped from my grasp. Goddamn my 11 strength. I backpedaled as fast as I could, until I bumped into Rachel. ¡°Stay near me!¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯ll protect you!¡± A crossbow bolt slammed into the shoulder that wasn¡¯t covered by the belt. ¡°I need you!¡± I shouted. ¡°I believe in you!¡± Rachel used her burst of speed to run around me and smash into the two guards at the door. The ones at the bar were dead. Four more ran in from a back room. I cursed. I had no weapon. Bernadette ran past me, tossing the magic crossbow on her way. Okay, 9 dexterity, don¡¯t fail me now. I caught it! The butt of the crossbow hit my shoulder. I pointed it at the lead of the four guards, and squeezed the trigger. The bolt tore clean through him. He crumpled to the floor mid stride, and the one behind him tripped over his corpse. Bernadette leapt off the bartop and stuck to the wall on all fours, scrambling up with spiderwalk. The sword. She snatched the mithril sword off the wall. I tossed the crossbow on the bar, and reached up. I fumbled the sword, but was able to catch it harmlessly against my chest. Bernie leapt onto the bar and kicked the crossbow into the air, catching it in her hands, and slamming a bolt into the breach. I held the sword. It was like a scimitar, or long cavalry saber. The crossguard simple and curved upwards. The thing was gorgeous. If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. It felt like¡­ I don¡¯t know. I can¡¯t describe it. It felt like holding something natural, and beautiful, and pure. I slashed through the cainmail of the guard that approached me, and kicked him to the ground. ¡°That¡¯s mine!¡± came Denyla¡¯s voice. She clamped her hand over her mouth, regretting the attention, and ducked back behind the bar. Bernie fired her crossbow. I swung the sword wildly, carving through flesh and armor, easily. In seconds, the rest were dead on the ground. ¡°Well, shit,¡± I said. ¡°We did it.¡± Rachel beamed, grabbed my shoulder, then sat at the lone bar stool still standing. ¡°I need a drink,¡± she said. I grabbed a stool, and put it next to her. Denyla stood. I put the sword on the bar in front of her and she took it, cleaning the blood from it with a bar rag. ¡°Thanks,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯ll grab an ale. But then you should clear out before more come.¡± ¡°You¡¯re staying here?¡± Rachel asked. ¡°They¡¯ll want to bring you in for questioning. Who knows what they¡¯ll do after.¡± Denyla looked at Rachel. I couldn¡¯t tell what the face meant exactly, but she wasn¡¯t happy. ¡°I guess I can go stay with my sister. Here¡¯s the ale.¡± She slid the drink down the bar, then walked into the back room, presumably to pack. Bernadette threw her arms around Rachel¡¯s neck from behind, and kissed her on a bloody cheek. Rachel smiled at her. ¡°Good to see you too,¡± she said. ¡°I know you¡¯ve only been here for a couple weeks, but you look different.¡± ¡°You too,¡± Bernie said. She did look different. Rachel had always carried her weight in her hips, stomach, and chest, and she¡¯d lost none of it in the last five years. It seemed she had just added about twenty more pounds of muscle to go with it. I could see it in her forearms. And her legs looked like they could pull a truck out of the mud all by themselves. She pulled the gloves off her hands, set them on the bar, and took a long gulp of the ale. Bernie sat on the bar in front of her. The way she looked at her, it was like¡ª Well I didn¡¯t understand the way she looked at her. I touched Rachel¡¯s arm, and used a Cure Light Wounds spell. ¡°Hey. Thanks,¡± she said. ¡°When did you learn magic?¡± ¡°Had to take a level in bard,¡± I cut my eyes over to Bernie who gave me a solemn frown. ¡°We needed the healing more than the damage.¡± ¡°That spell you cast, in the fight, you¡¯d said ¡®I need you.¡¯ Which was nice I guess. Is that your healing phrase?¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°You couldn¡¯t have just said ¡®be healed?¡¯ The other one sounds clingy.¡± ¡°I mean, it made sense at the time.¡± Rachel looked between me and Bernie, and saw something on our faces that seemed to answer a question she didn¡¯t feel the need to ask. Denyla came back, and slid me and Bernie drinks too. I tossed her most of the gold we had left. She thanked us, and busied with her pack. I looked around at the carnage we had left on the floor of the bar, the broken furniture, the blood. It was a truly horrendous sight. But man, it was good to have my friend back. I popped my monocle in my eye. Bernie leaned over and whispered something to her that made her laugh. ¡®Oriana¡ª lvl 8 Barbarian, HP 62/80.¡¯ I focused on her for more information. Starbound, CON 18, CHA 9, rage ability. Jeez, that was high constitution. I guessed her strength was high with the belt ¡ª probably a belt of giant strength ¡ª but maybe the monocle didn¡¯t account for boosted stats. I¡¯ll have to keep that in mind. ¡°So what¡¯s next?¡± I asked. ¡°Well,¡± Rachel said, ¡°we finish our drinks. Then we fight our way out of the city.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± I continued. ¡°What if we sneak?¡± ¡°You can¡¯t sneak in chainmail,¡± she said. ¡°And Captain Wen is too good at her job. She¡¯d find us before we got a block.¡± ¡°You think she¡¯s headed our way?¡± Bernie asked. ¡°I think we got five minutes til she gets here.¡± ¡°Then I¡¯ll let you folk clean up,¡± Denyla said with not too much sarcasm. ¡°Man, my sister is gonna be so smug. Hope it was worth it.¡± ¡°Thanks for the drinks,¡± Rachel said with a smile like sunshine. Denyla reddened with anger. She left through a back door, taking that beautiful sword with her. ¡°So,¡± I said. ¡°What¡¯s the game plan?¡± ¡°Well,¡± Rachel started, ¡°you need to stop trying to use swords. You suck at them. That crossbow seems real good. Use that.¡± ¡°I have 9 dexterity,¡± I offered. ¡°Yeah, well, I¡¯d start training your dexterity then. You¡¯re what, level 4?¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± I said, checking my slate for posterity. Oh shit. I¡¯d leveled up. ¡°Oh, 5 now, actually.¡± ¡°Nice. You may have earned effort stats, but since you¡¯re a multiclass you won¡¯t hit your Ability Score Improvement yet.¡± ¡°That¡¯s what the DM said.¡± ¡°You talked to him?¡± Bernie asked. ¡°Yeah,¡± I admitted. ¡°That''s probably fine¡­¡± Rachel said, looking between the two of us. ¡°As long as you didn¡¯t give him too much information.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t,¡± I assured her. I took a gulp of my ale, and pulled out my slate. Looking at my options for level up, it seemed like I should stick with bard. Fighter would get me my subclass, but now that we had Rachel ¡ª and I¡¯d seen how powerful she was ¡ª I had less of a reason to get better at fighting. Nobody had spells but me. Not until we got Caleb or Mark back. Sofia also had spells. What the hell was happening with her? Not only would I get a new spell at level three bard, but I¡¯d get the bard subclass too. I clicked the plus, and mashed bard. I scrolled to the end of the subclass list and chose the one that seemed like it had the most to do with fighting. Looking at the second level spells available to me had some good options. I could take shatter, finally getting a damage spell, or I could take spells to paralyze, blind, cure illnesses ¡ª lots of good options. I chose invisibility. I had to. If one of us was in trouble, that would be the best way to get them safe. All together I could cast four first level spells per day, and two second level spells like invisibility. I typed the word ¡®ocultarse¡¯ into the spell phrase section for invisible. Interestingly, I had a notification that said that I¡¯d gained some effort stats. My sheet looked like this: Beznik of the Red Hand the level 2 Fighter and level 3 War Bard Hit Points 34, Armor Class 18 (chainmail, shield) STR 12 (+1) DEX 10 (+0) CON 13 (+1) INT 13 (+1) WIS 10 (+0) CHA 14 (+2) Items: Adventurers¡¯ Kit (used), Chainmail, Longsword, Shield Abilities from Fighter: Adrenaline Rush (170% time dilation, double movement speed) and Second Chance (Twice per day heal +25% HP) Abilities from Bard: ¡®Inspiring Words (+60% movement speed, 10% instant healing, and +30% extra damage modifier to a party member of your choice).¡¯ Student of War (extra weapon damage equal to CHA bonus) Spellcasting. Skills: History, Performance, Persuasion, Social Drinking ¡°Alright,¡± Rachel continued. ¡°When Captain Wen gets here, we need to rush her as quickly as we can.¡± ¡°Think we can kill her?¡± Bernie asked. ¡°Gods no,¡± Rachel said with a laugh. ¡°She¡¯s got us smoked. We just need to put her on the defensive long enough that one of us can secure an exit.¡± ¡°She¡¯s that good?¡± I asked. ¡°Oh, she killed my entire crew. And she did it without breaking a sweat. Would have killed me too if we hadn¡¯t ¡ª well if they didn¡¯t want me alive for a big show trial.¡± ¡°Why do they hate you? What did you do?.¡± ¡°Well, you see, the Queen has it out for all of us. Apparently we¡¯re prophesied to overthrow her. And even though I couldn¡¯t give a shit about overthrowing her, nobody can argue with prophesy.¡± Rachel raised her tankard, and gulped the last of her drink. ¡°I thought killing her was our ticket home,¡± I countered. ¡°I ain¡¯t going home,¡± she said matter of factly. ¡°What do you mean?¡± I asked. ¡°I mean, I wanted to. First couple years, I really wanted to. You know my family. They need me.¡± Rachel took a deep breath, and looked at both of us with eyes that held some amount of pain. ¡°But,¡± she said. ¡°Here I¡¯m me. Not only am I good at this, but I get to be the woman I want to be. I go back there, and I¡¯m just a daughter, just an employee. Here I can love who I want, kill who I want, and have zero regrets about it.¡± ¡°¡®Love who you want,¡¯¡± I muttered to myself. ¡°Wait. You¡¯re gay too?¡± I asked. Rachel looked to Bernadette. Then she looked back to me. ¡°Too? You didn¡¯t know Bernadette was bi?¡± ¡°I just thought she was quirky,¡± I said defensively. Bernadette laughed. ¡°I¡¯ve known you since middle school,¡± I said. ¡°How did I miss this?¡± ¡°Yeah, and you never learned to listen to me,¡± she replied with a shrug, putting first her right glove, then her left glove back on with a wince. ¡°So, you don¡¯t want to go back, because you¡¯re worried what your parents may say?¡± ¡°Nah, man, I came out to them years ago. Way before I left. They didn¡¯t like it, but it wasn¡¯t a surprise.¡± ¡°So, why didn¡¯t you¡ª¡± ¡°Because I knew you would be weird about it. That you¡¯d make it all about you. And maybe I just wanted to play some fucking games, man, not deal with your bullshit.¡± ¡°Shit. I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°Yeah, me too,¡± she said. Bernadette piped up, ¡°well this is awkward. Zach?¡± ¡°Yeah?¡± ¡°Help me get these crossbows loaded.¡± I helped Bernie find crossbows from the dead, and load them with bolts. Soon, we¡¯d assembled a line of six crossbows, starting with our magic one, on the far end of the bar. ¡°She¡¯ll come in the front door?¡± Bernie asked. ¡°Yeah,¡± Rachel answered. ¡°Despite being such a damn good liar, she likes to fight honorably. Or well, as honorably as a Knight of the Word can be, given their immense strength.¡± ¡°So,¡± Bernie continued, ¡°you¡¯ll charge her as soon as she gets here. Don¡¯t give her a chance to gloat or talk, just charge. I¡¯ll maneuver for a killing blow. While I¡¯m doing that, Zach will take shots only when you¡¯re clear.¡± ¡°Try not to shoot me,¡± Rachel said with a shit-eating-grin. She was still my friend. I could tell that. But maybe I didn¡¯t know her as well as I should. Maybe I hadn¡¯t put in the effort to. ¡°I can¡¯t make any promises, I said. 10 DEX.¡± She laughed. Good. If I was gonna make this right, I had to make sure I didn¡¯t make any of this weird for her. We just had to be friends, like we always were. And maybe I should talk to her more. Be more interested. Unless that¡¯s not what she wanted? Shit. I¡¯d missed so much. Not only the five years I¡¯d lost, but the years I spent being a shitty friend. And that was when Captain Wen walked in. Chapter 13 — A Knight of the Word She didn¡¯t move. We¡¯d agreed that she would charge her, but Rachel didn¡¯t move. Bernadette slowly, very slowly began to inch toward the figure in white armor. But she seemed to be a mile away. I still had the monocle in. ¡®Knight Captain Wen, First of the Word,¡¯ was what it said. Then it had six skull-and-crossbones after. Last time I saw the skulls, it was two. And he almost killed me and Bernie. Six was a lot. We¡¯d be fine. She was damn near six feet of steel plated violence, but she couldn¡¯t be that bad, right? ¡°Hello, Rachel,¡± she said. Her obsidian black eyes sweeping across the tavern cooly. Her eyes had a monolid, and her hair was swept back from her face with a boyish haircut. A streak of gray ran from the hairline over her right eye to tuck behind an ear. She was pretty. The gore didn¡¯t seem to phase her. She wore head to toe plate armor that gleamed in gold and white. Her greatsword rested easy on a pauldron. She took a wide and sturdy stance, but I could see the twist in her torso that meant that she was ready to explode into violence at any moment. Captain Wen laughed. ¡°And you¡¯re all together,¡± she said. ¡°How wonderful. You know, I don¡¯t need all of you alive. I only need one for the trial.¡± Her eyes flicked over to Bernadette. ¡°Maybe you first? Or the boy.¡± I didn¡¯t like being called ¡®boy.¡¯ Nobody did. ¡°I don¡¯t know why I thought we could do this,¡± Rachel muttered. She turned to me. ¡°We need to run.¡± I¡¯d leveled up. Rachel was tough. Maybe we could take her. ¡°Ocultarse!¡± I yelled, flourishing my hand at Bernadette. She disappeared instantly, like somebody had pushed the backspace key. I snatched up the magic crossbow, and fired. The bolt flew wide. Bernie appeared behind Wen, and lunged for the exposed portion of her neck, the part opposite the greatsword. Of course, that was exactly what Wen was expecting. Her hand reached up and grabbed Bernie¡¯s sword arm. She spun, dragging Bernie through the air like she was a rucksack, and threw her into the wall 30 feet away. The wall cracked. And then Wen moved, fast, like way quicker than I¡¯d ever seen someone move, and brought her sword down on me. I threw the crossbow up to shield my face. When I tell you that holding that crossbow up saved my life, it¡¯s also with a little bit of bitterness, because she absolutely shattered it, and there went probably the best weapon we had. But then her sword kept going, shearing through the chainmail, then the gambison. I didn¡¯t even feel the cut at first. Just the hot spray of wet against my neck and chest. I fell to my knees. She raised the sword again. Suddenly, Rachel had her arms around Wen¡¯s waist. Her hands locked into each other, and she pulled her into the air. I know it wasn¡¯t in slow motion, but that moment of Rachel holding her up in the air seemed to last forever. Then Wen smashed her armored elbow into Rachel¡¯s face, probably saving me from a killing stroke. Rachel suplexed her over her shoulder, and smashed Wen into the floor. Her armored body went straight through the floorboards, falling into the basement, sending debris flying. Bernadette slid across the floor, and grabbed Rachel by the ankle before she could topple into the hole after Wen. ¡°Not today,¡± I muttered to myself. ¡°Bernadette, I need you!¡± I shouted. Then I pulled Rachel standing, slapping a cure lesser wounds on her shoulder. None of us could take another shot from Captain Wen, or else it would be over. I knew resurrection magic was a thing in the Game, but I wasn¡¯t high enough level yet. I¡¯m also pretty sure that I only had one second level spell slot left, and that was it. I wanted to save it for an invisibility. We didn¡¯t need to talk. We ran. I grabbed two crossbows on the way, and handed one to Bernie. Outside the tavern were two guards. Bernie slid her sword across the throat of one, and Rachel kicked the other across the street. ¡°South!¡± Rachel said. Her and Bernie went left, and I went right. ¡°This way is South,¡± Rachel added. I turned, and ran after her. We didn¡¯t get very far, when the wall of the tavern belched debris into the street, and Captain Wen came barreling out of the cloud of dust. I didn¡¯t have my backpack on, Rachel had grabbed it, so I could run pretty fast. My longer legs got me to catch up with them, easily. Then Rachel put on the gas, and she broke ahead. Her shorter legs could still move faster with the belt powering her. I felt wind on my back as Captain Wen sliced through the chainmail. I dared to glance behind me, and saw she was rearing for a second swing. This one was surely going to kill me. Bernadette and Rachel glowed blue when I activated Adrenaline Rush. The tinkling of chainmail again told me that she¡¯d sheared right through it. I was just out of reach. Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings. ¡°Rachel, Bernadette, I believe in you!¡± They ran faster. I had no idea where we were going, but Rachel led. We turned down an alley. I heard Wen slide on the gravel next to the street. She was fast, but it had to be hard to turn in all that plate mail. The second I exited the alley, Rachel grabbed me by the front of my tabard, chainmail bunching in her gloves, and she threw me into the air. I flew just above the roof of the adjoining building, and came down hard on my feet. I wasn¡¯t light and neither was the chainmail. I felt something twist wrong, but I didn''t have time to feel the pain, as I scrambled not to fall. Bernadette flew over me. Like some kind of miracle or fluke, I reached up and grabbed her foot before she sailed over the roof. She landed hard on her stomach with an audible grunt of pain. I got to my feet just in time to see Rachel grab Commander Wen¡¯s sword arm, as she pushed her across the flagstone street. Rachel twisted, pulled the sword free, and threw it off into parts unknown. Commander Wen didn¡¯t seem to like that, and pushed Rachel into a wooden beam with a crunch. Rachel pushed back with a roar, veins standing in her neck, and starlight whisping off of her shoulders. She was starbound. Right. As they wrestled, I looked for where we should go next. Right across from us was a guard tower. It was just next to the adjoining building across the alley. The alley didn¡¯t look like a difficult jump but the ladder leading up looked much farther from that second building. But not impossible. If I had enough momentum from a running jump I could probably make it. I¡¯d have probably 240 pounds of armored Zachary behind my momentum, so grabbing onto the ladder would not be easy. But what else were we going to do? A crossbow bolt streaked from the guard tower, and landed in the tile at my feet. I shot back, hitting the guardrail of the tower, but forcing the man to duck his head. ¡°Cover me!¡± I said, handing my crossbow to Bernie. She fired hers, hitting a man who¡¯d kept his head up too long, then crouched down to load the weapons. I fished my slate from my belt, opening my spell list. I had one first level spell, and one second level spell. All my abilities were on cooldown. So, no Inspiring Word or Adrenaline Rush. I glanced at Rachel who was bleeding from her nose and mouth, just a line of red from her nose, past her lips and down the front of her chest. I sent a healing phrase to her, then looked down at my spell list. Sleep was really the only offensive spell I had. Would it even work on such a high level enemy as Captain Wen? I mashed the tooltip to see how it worked. Another crossbow bolt hit the roof next to me. Bernie fired again, and the guard tumbled from the tower. Okay, sleep. It basically had a certain percent chance to work, unless they were immune to it. My hands shook as I read. Helpfully the tooltip said Captain Wen was not immune, being a human, and not an elf. Good! It also said that because she hadn¡¯t dropped below 90% health, and her constitution score was so high, that the spell had a 0.001% chance of success. Not so good. But if it worked, she was guaranteed to fall asleep, and be unconscious for a full minute. Or until someone woke her up. Bernie loaded the second crossbow and fired, missing, but getting them to duck again. I pointed to Captain Wen, and I sang the phrase. ¡°Go to sleep! Go to sleep!¡± Captain Wen backed away from Rachel, fell on her butt, and slumped over. Rachel looked up to me. ¡°She¡¯s just asleep, so we gotta move!¡± Rachel nodded, and did a standing leap that looked more like being launched from a cannon than jumping, and landed right next to me, crushing tile in all directions. ¡°Guard tower?¡± she asked. ¡°Yep.¡± We ran. Bernie handed me my crossbow. I fired it at the tower, and struck a guard in the shoulder. Here came the alley. I leapt, landed on the building, and rolled. I got up and kept running. I heard Bernie and Rachel land behind me. Then came the edge of the building. I stopped, unsure if I had the momentum to make it. Rachel didn¡¯t ask. She just picked me up, and threw me again. I was over the street, approximately 20 feet in the air, and it felt like I was there forever. I looked down, and memories of jumping off the top of the boathouse back home came rushing to me. This was higher. And the street was not water. My heart dropped into my stomach, and I felt bile rise in my throat. Then I slammed into the ladder with enough force that it knocked the breath from my chest. I grabbed onto the handrail of the ladder with everything I had, tried to suck air, but got nothing. Breathe again. Nothing. For several agonizing seconds I tried to get a breath, but couldn¡¯t. ¡°Gah!¡± I could breathe! I started climbing. A man ducked out of cover above me, and fired a crossbow bolt. It missed. I kept climbing. Bernie landed above me, and immediately tossed a dagger. It struck the man in the face. He fell forward, past Bernie and crashed into me. One hand slipped free from a rung. The other held. I just got my hand back onto the rung of the ladder when Rachel crashed into it below me, shaking the entire thing. I held again. I got this. Not hard. Just climb the ladder. Bernie ran up the tower with spiderwalk, and reached the landing. Just then, I heard a door slam open. I had to climb faster. I heaved myself onto the landing of the guard tower, just in time to see a man wrap his arms around Bernadette, and pick her off the wall. Shit. I grabbed a dagger from her leg sheathe, and drove it through the top of his head. Bernie shoved him off, and drew her sword. Four guards lay dead at our feet, and two more entered the tower from the door that led to the walls. She tossed her sword to me. I caught it! Thank god for 10 dexterity. Bernie drew a fighting dagger, parried the axe that came swinging in. I stepped in, and stabbed behind his swing, right above his armpit. He flinched. That was all Bernie needed to punch her dagger right through his chainmail, and into his heart. He fell back into the man behind him. Bernie tossed a dagger that struck the second man in the neck. The guard threw the dead man off him. I punched Thirsting Thorn right through his armor, and he fell too. I felt a rush of healing, and suddenly my ankle didn¡¯t hurt so much. Nice. Rachel heaved herself over the lip of the tower and scrambled next to us. ¡°Nice of you to get here, finally,¡± Bernie said. ¡°You¡¯re welcome,¡± Rachel replied with a growl, soft starlight twinkling all around her. ¡°After you,¡± I said. Three more men ran across the walltop at us. They didn¡¯t stand a chance. All three were thrown from the walls with ease. We made it to the stairs down, and we pounded down the steps. Once we hit the ground, Rachel kicked the exit door from its frame. Outside was fresh air and trees. We ran into the forest and didn¡¯t stop. Victory music played just over the sound of us crashing through brush. Chapter 14 — Twilit Talks At first, Rachel¡¯s crashing through the brush created a direct passage through the forest. Then, her rage ran out. After that, she was a little more careful. She still had to stop, and wait for us a couple times though. Bernadette gave out first. She tripped, and crashed onto the forest floor. I picked her up, but she couldn¡¯t stand straight. She must have run until her legs gave out. I checked her slate, and sure enough, she had five levels of exhaustion. The way that condition worked, is that if she got a single more point she would die. The only way to remove those levels was a night¡¯s sleep, which got rid of somewhere between 2-3 levels. And if I expended a lot of healing I could burn through maybe one more. We¡¯d pushed her to the limit. I wasn¡¯t doing so hot either. Rachel hadn¡¯t noticed. ¡°Wait,¡± I said. Rachel kept walking. ¡°Wait!¡± She stopped. She jogged back. ¡°Hey, we can¡¯t rest,¡± she said. ¡°Captain Wen is probably leading¡ª¡± ¡°She¡¯s passed out,¡± I interrupted. ¡°Oh. Damn.¡± We just looked at each other. I let her see my own tiredness. ¡°Even if she could move, it¡¯ll kill her.¡± ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll start setting up the tent.¡± I could feel the wind coming in through the trees. It was going to be a cold night. ¡°I¡¯ll start a fire,¡± I said. ¡°No, fire,¡± Rachel said. ¡°Right. They¡¯ll be looking for us.¡± While she set up the tent, I gathered brush. The tent was already pretty dirty, but I rubbed big swaths of mud on it. Rachel didn¡¯t say anything, but nodded when she saw what I was doing. After a bit of effort, I was able to get the tent reasonably camouflaged. We all piled into the tent and fell asleep. I don¡¯t remember much. When I woke, it was still dark. I had Bernadette in my arms, like always. And my arm had been put to sleep, of course. But I was startled by the breath against the back of my neck. And the feeling of someone¡¯s arms around me. Rachel gave me an annoyed groan, and I crawled out from between them with some effort. Rachel pulled Bernie into her, and they returned to sleep. I figured I should go take watch for a bit. The night was cold. My armor was torn to pieces, so I put on what was left of my gambeson after some magic to sow it back together best I could, and wrapped my cloak around myself. The forest was quiet. Man, that was a wild fight. I laughed despite myself. We were so dangerous now. I was beat to hell. I should be dead. We¡¯d had a whole city of guards coming for us, but we escaped. With my magic and buffs, Bernie¡¯s killing prowess, and Rachel tanking for us, what couldn¡¯t we do? We could take on better quests for sure. We could really start working as a team. It was nice to have my friend back. I worked on the little rabbit I¡¯d been whittling. It was my third or fourth one, but I think this one was maybe my best. After an hour or so, the twilit clouds shone snaking beams of light down through the trees, and Rachel exited the tent. ¡°You should get more sleep,¡± I said. ¡°Yeah, maybe in a bit,¡± she said and sat next to me. She¡¯d her gloves tucked into her belt, which was around her waist for the moment. We had our backs to a tree. We didn¡¯t say anything for a bit. I kept looking at her, but I didn¡¯t know where to start. She laughed. We both laughed. ¡°I¡¯m so glad I found you,¡± Rachel said. I pulled her into a weird sitting side hug. ¡°Me too, man.¡± ¡°What are we doing next?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I said, pulling out my slate. Looking at the quests tab showed the ones for reuniting with Caleb, and the one for Mark. Then there was the main quest about the queen. Seeing a new blue dot, I clicked on it. It said: ¡®defeat dragon.¡¯ I clicked on that. The tool tip continued by saying¡ª Defeat Flaymeskerg the Insatiable, and plunder his hoard. Please note that other adventuring parties covet his riches, and a few have the ability to obtain it. Therefore, this is a limited time quest. Helper NPCs are recommended to round out the party, but no more than 3 additional ones. Information on this quest can be obtained from a direct message to the DM. ¡°Did you see the¡ª¡± I started to say. ¡°Defeat the dragon, yeah. I don¡¯t know, it sounds dangerous.¡± ¡°Would the DM put a quest on the map we couldn¡¯t win?¡± ¡°The main quest is on the map. And there is no way we¡¯re ready for it.¡± ¡°But does he do that with a side quest?¡± Rachel gave me a nonplussed look, unable to answer. ¡°I¡¯ll text him,¡± I said. Breznik: hey. What¡¯s with this dragon quest? Is it at our level? DM: Thank you for asking. It is rated for a level 10 party. But it could conceivably be completed by a party of your current level with at least two level 8 NPCs of suitable ability. Breznik: what does ¡®suitable ability¡¯ mean? DM: It means those that are proficient in combat, not just crafting or social skills. Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators! Breznik: how do we find those? DM: You have already met several. ¡°What¡¯d they say?¡± Rachel asked. ¡°Said it¡¯s rated for level 10, but we could do it now if we had a party of five.¡± Rachel made a contemplative noise, and gazed off into the distance. ¡°So what are your stats like?¡± I asked. ¡°You want to show me yours, and I¡¯ll show you mine?¡± ¡°Har har,¡± I said sarcastically, and handed her my slate. She handed me hers. Oriana the level 8 Starbound Barbarian. HP 82, AC 17 (unarmored) STR 19 (+4)* DEX 16 (+3) CON 18 (+4) INT 10 (+0) WIS 12 (+1) CHA 9 (-1) Items: Belt of Ogre Strength (sets strength at 19)*, Gloves of the Pugilist (double damage from unarmed strikes and improvised weapons), Necklace of Second Chance (grants Fighter¡¯s second chance feature) Abilities from barbarian: Rage (twice per day, halves all damage received, increases own damage by 25%, grants a 50% boost to athletics skills), unarmored defense (grants a boost to defense equal to constitution and dexterity bonus, and increases movement speed by 50%), Against Destiny (rage uses per day may reset when attempting to thwart fate, uses of rage gained in this way are doubled in potency) Skills: Athletics, Insight, Sleight of Hand, Social Drinking Damn her stats were good. We swapped slates back. She probably had some trouble with combat before that belt, but her constitution was insane. And the gloves made her deceptively dangerous. Those guards at the bar hadn¡¯t seen her as much of a threat until it was too late. Her kit was supremely good, likely made her hit harder than her level would suggest. It really reminded me that I was the biggest liability in the party. I had to get better. And fast. ¡°You said, ¡®he?¡¯ You think they¡¯re a ¡®he?¡¯¡± asked Rachel. ¡°The dungeon master?¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°I just assumed. Why would it matter?¡± ¡°Maybe it doesn¡¯t,¡± Rachel answered. ¡°I¡¯d feel better if it was a girl.¡± I thought for a moment. ¡°Me too. But maybe we shouldn¡¯t.¡± That gave Rachel something to chew on. Eventually, I broke the silence. ¡°What was your crew like, the Foaming Mugs.¡± ¡°Man, I don¡¯t want to talk about that.¡± ¡°Sorry.¡± She barreled through the awkwardness, like she often did. ¡°What¡¯s up with you and, Bernie? We call her Bernie, right? I never got to know her well, and the last time I saw her it was five years ago.¡± ¡°You two seemed pretty chill at the tavern.¡± ¡°Yeah! She¡¯s surprisingly easy to get along with. That was all her,¡± she said with a nervous laugh. ¡°Well, she¡¯s great in a fight. And she is really easy to get along with.¡± ¡°Nah, I was asking if¡ª¡± ¡°Asking what?¡± ¡°If you guys had hooked up?¡± ¡°No!¡± ¡°Just asking. But you want to?¡± ¡°I mean, I don¡¯t know. We¡¯ve gotten pretty close. We work well together. And I don¡¯t want to mess that up.¡± ¡°That¡¯s fair,¡± she said, taking a flask from her vest, unscrewing the top, and tossing it back. ¡°You want some?¡± Man could I use a drink. Of course I did. ¡°Sure,¡± I said, taking it from her. I took a sip, then spiraled into a coughing fit. It burned. It burned harshly. ¡°Hey, careful!¡± she said. ¡°It''s dwarven hooch.¡± ¡°I can tell!¡± I sputtered, but took a second sip to show I could. It still burned, but I was ready for it. It wasn¡¯t quite as strong as everclear or something, but damn it had to be close. It tasted incredibly smokey, and it left honey on the finish. Pretty good, but dangerously strong. ¡°You like it?¡± I had to be truthful. ¡°I love it,¡± I said. And meant it. Whiskey was my vice, and this was pretty close. ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s expensive as hell, but there is nothing better for a twilit watch than sharing spirits with a friend.¡± ¡°Who talks like that?¡± I asked, looking at my friend as if they were someone I¡¯d never met. ¡°I guess I do, man, shut up!¡± She punched me in the arm. I could feel the welt forming already. At least she wasn¡¯t wearing her gloves. ¡°Ouch! Fuck, man.¡± ¡°Sorry! Oh shit! The belt. I¡¯m sorry, man!¡± We laughed. She put her arm around me, and we laughed hard. ¡°Man, I missed you,¡± I said, wiping away tears that were only mostly from laughter. ¡°Me too.¡± Rachel stood, and helped me up. We meandered around the tent keeping an eye out, but talking also. After a while I said, ¡°So being here¡¯s kinda changed you.¡± ¡°It has. As we have seen, I sometimes speak like my friends do. Or did. I¡¯m stronger now also.¡± ¡°In more ways than one.¡± ¡°Certainly. I don¡¯t think I could have taken a betrayal like Wen¡¯s before living and fighting here. Now it just makes me mad.¡± ¡°We going back for revenge?¡± I asked with some apprehension. ¡°Ha! Relax. We¡¯re not heading back. But that¡¯s only because I don¡¯t think we¡¯ll need to. The Queen bids that we must die, so she¡¯ll catch up to us eventually.¡± ¡°And when she does, can we take her?¡± ¡°We¡¯ll have to. Maybe this dragon quest will put us over the edge.¡± ¡°Did you two¡­¡± ¡°Bang? Yeah. It¡¯s how she got me. I really loved her. Turns out that I never really knew her. She¡¯s a straight up sociopath. Or maybe just a true believer. ¡®Anything for the Queen.¡¯ I don¡¯t know.¡± My mind swirled with inappropriate questions. She saw my face, and made as if to punch me. ¡°At least the other arm!¡± I said in as manly a way as I could, and turned to present my other shoulder. She laughed. After a bit I asked, ¡°what was it like when you first got here? Everyone got here alone except me. How did you handle it?¡± ¡°What do you mean you didn¡¯t arrive here alone? I thought we all did.¡± ¡°Nah. Bernadette found me, like, the second I showed up.¡± ¡°Wow, lucky,¡± she said in a way that sounded more like she was just surprised than envious, ¡°when I got here, I just walked to a bar on the frontier, and got to work. I knew that if I ever got into trouble, I could just rage. That¡¯s how I got the gloves. I bought them. The belt I got off a bounty hunter that got too cocky. That was the first month or so, and I just hit the ground running after that.¡± ¡°You weren¡¯t scared?¡± ¡°I mean, yeah sometimes. I had to fight a pack of orcs on my own first week here, and got my ass kicked. But my starbound rage kicked in, and I cleaned their clocks. The only fight I¡¯ve ever lost was to Wen.¡± She took a sip of the hooch, and handed me the bottle. ¡°Shit,¡± I said, then took a sip of my own. ¡°What about you?¡± ¡°Did I ever get scared?¡± I thought back to that first fight. It had been scary, but also exhilarating. Then I thought about that night where I took my first level in bard. A lump caught in my throat, and I didn¡¯t trust myself to speak for a moment until I fought back the tears. ¡°The night I learned magic. Bernie got real hurt.¡± I handed the bottle back to her. ¡°Oh, shit,¡± she said, drinking from it. ¡°And she was gonna die if I didn¡¯t do something. So I took that level in bard, and told her I needed her.¡± ¡°Wow.¡± ¡°I know it can¡¯t be like what you went through, but I didn¡¯t think we were gonna make it.¡± ¡°Hey, what I just went through was unimaginable. And I probably won''t make it back to sleep til I finish this whole damn bottle. But your shit is bad too. I love it out here, but it isn¡¯t all stomping goblins, and shagging tavern wenches.¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°Speaking of ¡ª that elf girl with the sword,¡± here she made cupping motions with her hands, ¡°and the you know? She has a sister?¡± ¡°Shut up! Dalara is a nice lady.¡± ¡°And they¡¯re twins?¡± ¡°Identical as far as I can tell.¡± ¡°Dalara and Denyla, huh? I call dibs on whichever one we meet again first.¡± It was my turn to punch her on the shoulder, and she gave me a shit-eating grin. This wasn¡¯t the friend I knew. But this was Rachel. We had history. And I knew we would always have each other¡¯s backs. Because who else would? We used to be able to talk about anything. I would talk to her about girls ¡ª probably too much ¡ª and she¡¯d talk about boys. We didn¡¯t shy away from talking about sex or farts or anything. She was never ¡®one of the guys,¡¯ but in some ways she was easier to talk to than one of the guys. She actually listened. But now there was this thing that happened to her that I couldn¡¯t stop. She¡¯d been hurt, hurt bad, and I hadn¡¯t been there for it. And she¡¯d grown. She¡¯d become this incredible badass. She always was, but now she was more so. And now there was the gay thing too. I didn¡¯t want it to be different, but it was. ¡°Woah,¡± she said, ¡°what was that?¡± ¡°What?¡± I glanced around the forest trying to get a bead on what she¡¯d seen. ¡°That whole face journey. What was that?¡± ¡°Oh,¡± I said, relieved, ¡°I just, ah, I just keep getting reminded how different you are from who I remember. But you¡¯re still you.¡± ¡°Am I?¡± she asked. ¡°Of course.¡± She downed the last of her drink. ¡°Well that¡¯s good to hear,¡± she said with a huge grin. ¡°I¡¯m off to sleep some more. Wake me in a couple hours.¡± ¡°Alright!¡± She walked off. I watched her pick her way through the brush, and back to the tent. I sat on a log, and continued whittling my little bunny. The sounds of the forest ¡ª the birds, the crickets ¡ª grew around me. I had a lot to think about. Chapter 15 — Rangers Remain Overrated Look, I¡¯m just gonna be straight with whoever is reading this. The record of my adventures can often look something like ¡®travel through forest, walk down this road, fight some bandits or goblins, sleep at this inn, repeat.¡¯ And you¡¯d be correct that, bar some other strange monster like that deer or an ogre, that¡¯s basically what a lot of my life after reaching Vesperalis was like. But there is plenty of adventure and strangeness to be had. I¡¯ll get to it soon, trust me. At any rate, after that first night in the forest we got back onto the road, and made some headway. It was much slower going than I¡¯d like because we had to take frequent breaks for Bernadette. I wanted to head back to Brindletree and see if we couldn¡¯t convince Darlara to part with her fabulous elven sword, but Rachel wanted to get a head start on finding NPC help for us. So, we headed for a small village called Afon-Alun, to the east. We¡¯d just started our third day of traveling together. We¡¯d only fought one group of bandits, who were also marked by a black lion medallion, weirdly, and we were starting to settle into our identity as a party. We¡¯d actually killed the whole bandit group to a man before we even really knew what we were doing, so maybe we were too good. We got some new crossbows and some bolts out of it along with 44 gold pieces and some change. Bernadette made a group chat for us called ¡°The Kill Crew.¡± Why it needed to be separate from the other chat, and when we would ever split up so as to need it, was anyone¡¯s guess, but I was keen to make her happy. She still wasn¡¯t back at a hundred percent yet. ¡°So,¡± she started, marching cheerfully next to me while Rachel brought up the rear, ¡°Rachel seems to agree with you that the NPCs here in Vesperalis are people too, with souls and everything. And I¡¯m not gonna argue with her given everything she¡¯s been through lately. But do you really believe that?¡± ¡°Of course. We have no real evidence that anyone has a soul. We just have to act like others have them. And in acting, it doesn¡¯t really matter if it¡¯s true or not, functionally it is because we make it so.¡± ¡°Hmm.¡± ¡°Here. Think of this. You met one of Caleb¡¯s kids, right? And we agree that Caleb has a soul.¡± ¡°Well, if we didn¡¯t, that would make us super-mega-racist.¡± ¡°Definitely. So, if Caleb has a soul, and parents can create children who also have souls, why wouldn¡¯t his son have a soul?¡± ¡°Yeah. Right. So when Prince Xander passed through Brindletree, he hit on me immediately. Which, sure, I¡¯m hot, whatever. But when I let him down gently, he called me ¡®short.¡¯¡± ¡°You are short.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not the point!¡± ¡°What is your point?¡± ¡°My point is, that if I had a kid, even if they were an insufferable twat, I¡¯d believe they had a soul.¡± ¡°See?¡± ¡°But he¡¯s not my kid, so fuck ¡®em.¡± ¡°I feel like we¡¯re off track.¡± Rachel caught up to us. ¡°What are you guys talking about?¡± she asked. ¡°Whether Prince Xander has a soul,¡± I said, nonchalantly. ¡°Oh, god, that guy sucks. But even spoiled brats have a soul.¡± I gestured to Bernie, and she spread her hands out in defeat. ¡°Here¡¯s the real head scratcher,¡± Rachel said, grinning like she was about to drop something on us, ¡°do you really believe that we¡¯re the first people here? That our gaming group is the only people that made it here?¡± ¡°Huh,¡± I said. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t we see more slates?¡± asked Bernadette. ¡°Not if they got here before cellphones. Little twelve year old Percival from World War Two era Britain ain¡¯t bringing a cellphone.¡± ¡°You could be onto something,¡± I said. ¡°I mean, it would explain why everyone speaks English.¡± ¡°Everyone speaks English!¡± Rachel said, excitedly. ¡°That¡¯s weird!¡¯ I said. ¡°I never thought about that,¡± Bernadette admitted. ¡°But if they had just visited once,¡± I continued, ¡°accents would have drifted so much that we¡¯d have a hard time understanding them. Like cockney. But they sound perfectly fine! Like, maybe they come here all the time!¡± Bernadette looked between us with an expression I couldn¡¯t place. ¡°You two are cute when you get excited about stuff.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± I asked. ¡°I mean when you get like this,¡± she repeated, ¡°you¡¯re hella cute.¡± ¡°Thanks,¡± Rachel said. I didn¡¯t say anything. I wasn¡¯t sure what she meant by that. The road led us out of the forest and across an expanse of rolling hills. The grass was an uncanny green that I had only seen in pictures, the kind of green that only happens in far off places. Certainly not in Texas. And the sky was just pure blue from one horizon to the other. A ways off the road was a small camping spot under an oak. Someone had placed a couple of thick uprooted tree stumps around a ring of stones just big enough for a nice fire. I welcomed a little bit of shade, and a place to sit. If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. We didn¡¯t bother with a fire because we didn¡¯t plan on staying long. Our slates said that Afon-Alun was just a couple hours down the road, and daylight was plentiful. ¡°Other than the chance for a warm bed,¡± I said, ¡°what else do we hope to find here?¡± ¡°Well,¡± Rachel said, ¡°rumor has it that every couple of weeks a ranger stops in for a bit of booze, and to pick up work, then heads back into the Kingswood. Having someone who can track, and shoot wouldn¡¯t be a bad addition to our party.¡± ¡°Agh, rangers suck,¡± I said. ¡°What do you know about rangers?¡± Rachel asked sarcastically. ¡°Rogues do better DPR and druids do better spells. And if I wanted a pet, I¡¯d get a fish. Rangers basically suck at everything.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± Rachel offered, ¡°well, how else do you expect us to find this dragon? And once we find it, if it starts flying around, how are we going to fight it?¡± ¡°You¡¯re starting to have a point.¡± ¡°We need a hunter. Hopefully this ranger is high enough level for the job.¡± We also needed food. Bernie had killed some rabbit and squirrel, so we had dried meat. Rachel was a pro at that, and showed us how it was done. But we were very low on freshwater and other food. Also, it would be nice to sleep in our own beds. We all smelled pretty rank at this point, and piling into the same bedroll was losing its novelty. Soon, we were done eating, but I could tell that Bernadette needed a little longer before we continued on, so we started up a song from a play we knew. Rachel¡¯s voice was a bit pitchy, but sweet. We sounded pretty good together. After we¡¯d cleaned up camp, we headed out. In not much time, the bridge over Afon-Alun ¡ª the town¡¯s namesake river ¡ª came into view. It was a beautiful stone built arch, and the entrance had a twelve foot tall statue looming over it. The statue seemed to be of an elven man with a forked beard, with his fist raised as if he had once held something that was no longer there. A small guard shack held three guards. After some questioning about our business, and paying a copper for the toll, we crossed the bridge into town. The village seemed quaint, with beautiful cobblestone streets, and thatched roof buildings. I could also see one large elven-styled building, looming like an upturned birdnest at the end of the square. We entered the place, the sign of a fish leaping from a foaming mug, marking it as the tavern. The tavern held many people, including my first look at a dwarf. Stocky and bearded, he lived up to my expectations, and seemed to be the proprietor. He¡¯d built some kind of railing behind the bar so that he could run around behind it, and still see over it, while still being sized for tallmen. I also noticed a painting above the bar. It was a beautiful woman in profile, with a date in a plaque on the frame notating a date ten years previous. The figure had an elegant aquiline nose, and sparkling blue eyes. Her lips were pulled up in a slight smirking pout. It was Sofia. How? Ten years ago. And she looked exactly as I remembered her. Maybe even more beautiful. What was going on with her? What was her portrait doing here? Bernie walked up to the dwarf and conversed with him for a bit, before heading back to us. ¡°His name¡¯s Bruthur. Nice guy,¡± she then motioned with a thumb behind her, ¡°man in the corner is our ranger.¡± The man in the corner was as handsome, and rugged as one would hope a ranger to be. His dark skin and pointed ears showed him to be of mixed heritage of some sort, and the skin of his scalp showed from a head whose stubble had yet to fully grow back from being shaved. In fact, it matched his stubbly beard, but for a thick well kept mustache. He had a green cloak thrown over his chair next to a nice pair of travel worn boots, and he sat forward gazing at a map, brushing ash from it as he sucked on a thin hand rolled cigarette that smelled of something sweet. I didn¡¯t see any weapons but for a beautiful black longbow, unstrung and leaning against a post. When his gaze fell on us, I saw his eyes to be a honey brown flecked with gold. They were elven eyes, but I couldn¡¯t help but feel like I had seen something like them before in someone else. ¡°Are you barefoot?¡± I asked him, donning the monocle. It said ¡®Cal of the Kingswood, lvl 6 Ranger; 52 hp.¡¯ He smiled and replied, ¡°it¡¯s one of the simple pleasures of civilization. How might I help you fine folk?¡± ¡°We¡¯re looking for a hunter of monsters,¡± said Bernadette, leaning on the table. Concern creased his eyes, and he stood. He set his cigarette in a bowl, and held his hands out asking, ¡°may I touch you?¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± Bernadette said, startled but intrigued. The man turned her hand over and placed his fingers on the pulse in her wrist, gazing at her intently. He then brushed a finger across the skin of her brow. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t have let her get like this. She needs water,¡± he said to me. ¡°I¡¯ll be back.¡± I pulled out my waterskin as he led her to his chair then whisked off to the bar. He bent over the bar to talk to the dwarven bartender, who got down from the rail and came back with a kettle that he placed over the woodfiring stove. The ranger then grabbed a mortar and pestle from behind the bar and began crushing something into one of his cigarette papers. ¡°You okay?¡± I asked Bernadette, as she drank from the waterskin. ¡°I mean, I¡¯m a little thirsty.¡± I looked to Rachel, apologetic. Who just raised her eyebrows in bemusement. I glanced back at the ranger who¡¯d plopped the homemade sachet into a mug, before carefully pouring the boiling water over it. In moments, he was back with a steaming mug of tea. ¡°This, young lass, should ease your exhaustion,¡± he said, placing the tea carefully on the map in front of her. ¡°Ah, thanks,¡± Rachel said. ¡°We knew she was hurting still, but we just had to get here quickly.¡± ¡°And would digging a roadside grave be more or less a damper on your travel plans, than a stop to take care of your companion?¡± the ranger accused, a hint of scorn hiding below the cool waters of his civility. ¡°Now,¡± I started, taking a step forward, ¡°just you wait¡ª¡± ¡°We never¡ª¡± Rachel began. ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± Bernadette said. The ranger threw up his hands. My hand went to the sword at my waist. The ranger quirked an eyebrow at me, but seemed unbothered. I stepped back and crossed my arms. ¡°I think we should sit, and reintroduce ourselves,¡± the ranger said, then pulling daggers from his sleeves, he slammed them into the tabletop. He then sat next to one dagger, and gestured to the other, ¡°in case you may need it.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not knife fighting you,¡± I said, but sitting next to the dagger anyway. ¡°Yeesh,¡± Rachel said, then sat. ¡°A shame. I love a good knife fight,¡± the ranger said with a fox¡¯s grin. Bernadette reached across the table. The ranger slid the mug of tea out of the way just in time. She pulled first the one dagger, then the second from the tabletop, launching them both across the bar simultaneously. They flew with incredible speed and precision, before thunking straight into a post. ¡°Boys,¡± she said with not too much derision, ¡°nobody¡¯s fighting tonight.¡± The table was silent for several heartbeats. ¡°I think I can be too quick to defend a young maiden, when I should remember that some maidens are capable of their own defense,¡± the ranger said. ¡°I think we may have pushed her too hard,¡± I said. Both apologies were unsaid, but understood. ¡°My name is Shade,¡± she said before taking a sip of the tea. ¡°And this is delicious, thank you.¡± ¡°You are quite welcome Lady Shade. I am Cal of the Kingswood.¡± ¡°Just Cal?¡± I asked. ¡°Just Cal.¡± ¡°I am Breznik,¡± I said, offering my hand. He took it and we shook. ¡°Oriana.¡± ¡°Ah, like the constellation,¡± Cal said. ¡°A strong name for a strong woman.¡± ¡°Thanks,¡± Rachel said, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. ¡°So tell me friends,¡± he said, taking his cigarette and lighting it anew. ¡°Let¡¯s start over. What need of you for a monster hunter?¡± Chapter 16 — Under the Moonlight The next two weeks passed quickly. Apparently, Bernadette had been pushing herself hard ever since she got to this new world, and she needed those weeks to fully recover. I¡¯m not sure how I would ever make it up to her for not noticing how hard. Rachel and I stayed busy. Rachel worked on gathering information ¡ª this meant drinking, a lot of drinking ¡ª and I worked on my archery skills. Rachel was right. I needed to hang back, and if I was going to do that, I needed to get good at shooting. Cal had a small recurve hunting bow made for me, maybe only a forty pound draw, which was good enough at close ranges to be dangerous. I also trained with the crossbow. The crossbow was supremely more accurate and packed a better punch, with its damn near 200 pound draw, but I could get three or four arrows down the lane for every one crossbow bolt. Cal could do twelve with his longbow. I was a shit shot no matter what I used. I considered focusing fully on the hunting bow just to cause chaos and confusion more than actually getting any kills, but Cal convinced me that I could do both. He was a nice guy, once you got past the strange herb he smoked, and his penchant to start fights. He was wicked at cards, though I was starting to suspect that maybe he cheated. He must be young, but it was hard to tell with his elven features. It took me a while to clock, but there was an anger in him. It came out in the way he fought, and in the way he drank. Living in a fantasy world, I just assumed people were chill all the time, you drank and ate like hobbits, and lived a simple life. But that was not the case for Cal. Here I was, even after all my talk to Bernadette, assuming that these people weren¡¯t as complex as people always are. What had happened to give him all this anger? At the end of that two weeks, we were packed up and ready to go. Cal agreed that Brindletree was the natural next stop. He wanted to stock up on dried mushrooms for our trip, and I wanted that mithril sword. We were starting to get a sizable pile of gold, even after buying new camping supplies, and I hoped that Darlara would part with it for a reasonable price. We had two tents now, and enough bedrolls for everyone. Bernadette got a set of locksmith¡¯s tools. And I had my new bow. We somehow managed to be more prepared for this trip than we¡¯d ever been. And having a pack of cards proved invaluable for our stress levels. Cal revealed himself to be a pleasant travel companion, and with his help we made outstanding time. He took us down game trails to cut corners, and worked well on little sleep. He caught us game. He steered us around problems before we reached them. At this point, I was willing to admit that I was wrong about rangers. Having a ranger was nice. The only fight those first couple of days was an ogre. I would narrate a blow by blow for you, but for the simple fact that it was over pretty quickly. He charged out of the brush swinging a club, and we scattered. Rachel kept him occupied by grabbing his club while the rest of us filled him with arrows. I didn¡¯t miss a single shot with my bow. He was a twelve foot tall creature the size of a sedan, so that didn¡¯t say too much about my accuracy, but I at least got a little practice out of it. Cal led us through the forest to a cave that was its hideout, and we found a gruesome sight of hanging bones and piles of gore. A huge cauldron had a bubbling concoction that smelled unholy. We worked quickly. It was a decent haul at the end of the day ¡ª damn near 300 gold worth of coins and gems. The real treasure was a small handaxe. With the runes etched in its blade, it was surely magic. That night, Cal and I sat for first watch. We had a stream to our backs, and the path back to the road in front of us. The moon lit the night like a floodlight. ¡°You ever killed a dragon?¡± I asked. ¡°No. Regardless, a dragon this close to civilization must be chased off.¡± ¡°Yeah, but we don¡¯t have to be the ones that do it,¡± I said. ¡°To tell you the truth, rumor of this creature had reached me already. I was considering hunting it myself. So, I am glad you found me, and saved me from an inglorious death.¡± ¡°Why? Why does it have to be you? Aren¡¯t there other, stronger rangers?¡± ¡°Not free ones,¡± he said. ¡°They all belong to the king of elves. And he doesn¡¯t seem to see it as a problem yet.¡± ¡°Why aren¡¯t you one of them?¡± ¡°Why should I be?¡± he said, taking a drag from his cigarette, and I let the question hang for a bit. ¡°What do you know about kingdoms?¡± he asked. ¡°Not much,¡± I answered. ¡°Where I¡¯m from we don¡¯t have kings. At least not anymore.¡± ¡°What do you have? Who controls the people?¡± ¡°Practically? Nobody. Realistically, commerce.¡± I wasn¡¯t a huge market and political theory guy, but I recognized where the power lay in a place like Texas. If you weren¡¯t on the oil man¡¯s payroll, you worked for somebody that was. This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version. ¡°Commerce? It may not be so different here. A kingdom does a pretty good job helping itself, and a piss poor job helping people. And if I want to do something worth a damn, I¡¯d like to help people, not a kingdom.¡± ¡°Based,¡± I said without thinking about it. Then I followed up with, ¡°um, I mean, I think that sounds something like wisdom.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know how wise it is. It sometimes feels like I live this way out of spite, as much as preference. I would live a more comfortable life as knight to a king.¡± I pulled out a flask of elven brandy and offered him a sip. He took me up on it. I tried his cigarette, and coughed. It had a pleasant burn. The herb wasn¡¯t my cup of tea, but it wasn¡¯t without its appeal. After a while we agreed that I should get some sleep. He said he¡¯d wake Rachel when it was time. We¡¯d split into a boys tent and a girl¡¯s tent, so that meant that I had some time to myself. I stared at the harsh light of my slate for longer than I¡¯d like, then settled in, and tried to get rest. The tent flap opened, nightsong drifting in, but I didn¡¯t hear his feet. Cal was a stealthy dude, but even he made noise walking in. So, it couldn¡¯t be Cal. Before I could really figure out what was going on, Bernadette had straddled across my waist. ¡°Hey,¡± I said. She just looked at me, dark uncertain eyes shining in her pale face. We were both in our shifts, basically just cotton shorts and long shirts. So the feeling of her on me was immediate, and took all of my attention. ¡°Um, what¡¯s up?¡± I struggled to ask. ¡°Rachel headed out for watch,¡± she said. ¡°Which means we have at least 15 minutes of chit chat until either one of them heads back.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± She broke into a nervous grin. ¡°Did you need to talk about something?¡± I asked. I was a little worried about what she was going to feel, on top of me like this. Even without the physical contact, the moonlight that shone through her thin white shift illuminated quite a bit of her. I could feel the heat from her body keenly. ¡°Aren¡¯t you going to kiss me?¡± she asked. I sat up, and our faces were inches from each other. ¡°Do you want me to?¡± ¡°Oh, my god, I¡¯m practically throwing ¡ª¡± I kissed her. I was unsure at first, and led with small, soft kisses, but she kissed me back, and then it was on. I pulled her into me tight, her lips parted and I searched with my tongue. I suddenly pulled back. ¡°Is that too much?¡± I asked. She pushed me down, slid across me, and kissed me before I could say anything else. I tried to keep my hands respectfully on her sides, but then she began grinding her hips into me, and I got the notion that maybe I could be a little less respectful. I kept hold of her tight, then rolled to get on top of her. She wrapped her legs around me and I cupped her breasts, and I kissed her harder. When I kissed her neck, I heard a little moan that damn near short circuited my brain. Pushing myself back, I gave her a little space so that we could catch our breath. She crawled backward and stared at me. ¡°This is just kissing,¡± she said. ¡°Right,¡± I said, mind swirling. The reality of what touching her felt like beat the daydreams I had been stuffing back down into my subconscious for the last couple months by miles. This was just kissing. It was nice, but it couldn¡¯t be anything else. ¡°We can¡¯t do anything else,¡± she said, standing. ¡°Of course,¡± I said, standing too. ¡°I don¡¯t have a condom for one.¡± She punched me on the arm. I took a step forward. She threw her arms around my neck, and kissed me again. I picked her up and spun her around, and she giggled despite herself. ¡°Stop that!¡± she said. I put her down, but I couldn¡¯t keep the grin from my face. ¡°Stop what?¡± I asked. ¡°Being all, that, all cute.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll be however I like,¡± I said. ¡°No, this was just¡­¡± ¡°Just what?¡± I asked. I had no idea why this was happening, so I had to wait for her to give me a clue. ¡°It¡¯s just nice to kiss someone I trust.¡± ¡°Nice to be trusted,¡± I said. ¡°Maybe we¡¯ll do this again.¡± I crossed the space between us, and pulled her into me. I could feel her body melt into mine, and I ran my fingers through her hair as I kissed her. If this was it, I wanted it to count. She broke the kiss first, but lingered, our faces close. Then she bit my bottom lip, hard. ¡°Hey!¡± ¡°Something to remember me by,¡± she said. ¡°Think good thoughts!¡± Then she was gone. I was glad for the ten or so minutes I had alone before Cal got back to the tent I tried to tamp down my grin when he got in, but he noticed it anyway. He pointed to me first, then pointed in the direction of the other tent, and mouthed the name ¡®Bernadette.¡¯ ¡°Yep.¡± He gave an approving shrug, and we both turned away from each other, and tried to sleep. No use trying to keep a secret in a group this small. It was gonna get out eventually. I couldn¡¯t sleep. Man I needed to. I turned to look at Cal. He had his eyes closed. Somehow sensing me, he opened them. ¡°What?¡± ¡°How do you know you¡¯re doing the right thing?¡± Cal grumbled, and turned to the ceiling of the tent. ¡°People that are certain they¡¯re doing the right thing have often stopped caring if it¡¯s true.¡± ¡°Huh.¡± There was silence after that. I looked at the ceiling of the tent too. ¡°Wait,¡± he said. ¡°Are we talking about girls?¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°Shit, friend, you have to just ask ¡®em.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± I asked. ¡°What do you mean? ¡°I¡¯m not sure.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know much about girls,¡± he continued, ¡°but if you aren¡¯t sure if you are doing right by someone, you can just ask them. A lot of things come with ambiguity, and the heart is no exception. But if you don¡¯t know if a woman likes you, you just ask them.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s about like.¡± ¡°Then what is it about?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know, Cal. Maybe I¡¯m fucking everything up.¡± ¡°Could be. You¡¯re certainly fucking up my sleep.¡± ¡°Goodnight Cal.¡± He just turned in his bedroll, and grumbled to himself. Chapter 17 — The Lake and the Sorceress We were out on the road, and even though it was cold and damp, I couldn¡¯t keep a smile from my face. Silver burnished the sky as the clouds formed a silver wall above us. The everpresent leaves sloshed against our boots on the muddy road. The memory of last night was close in my thoughts. ¡°Hey!¡± Rachel said, ¡°You paying attention?¡± ¡°Ah, sorry. What¡¯s up?¡± ¡°Cal wants to take a detour to a lake nearby. Says we should camp a little early, and see if we can snag some fish.¡± ¡°Good idea,¡± I said. Rachel gave me a suspicious look, and I answered it with a smile. We broke off from the road and followed a game trail. I was starting to think that maybe I had this whole thing figured out. I didn¡¯t think that me and Bernadette would start dating, or that fighting a dragon would be easy, or that the Evil Queen that Caleb has spent 30 years fighting would just topple over in a summer. That would be silly. But I thought that I was going in the right direction. Bernadette stayed at the front with Cal. We hadn¡¯t really talked about what happened last night, but she didn¡¯t seem to be treating me cooly or anything, so I assumed it was fine. Cal was surprisingly funny. He taught us elven curse words, and translated local dirty limericks and jokes into English. When we arrived at the lake, twilight descended in earnest. The last part of our journey took us out of the forest and along the short grassy hill overlooking the lake. The grass eventually gave way to stones, pebbles, and sand. The lake line arced off into the distance, abutting dark hills and fog. I found it pretty, if a little gray and stern. We¡¯d just gotten our tents set up on the beach when she arrived, the sorceress. I was the first to see her. A spout of water soundlessly sprouted into the air then hung there. After, as if she were casting aside a cloak, the woman revealed herself. She walked toward the shore, her shiny black boots making the barest ripples in the water as passed. She wore an ankle length red dress that buttoned across her chest like a military jacket, the high collar just at her chin. It was impeccably tailored right to her wrist. She tugged on black gloves as if she¡¯d just put them on. Her silver hair moved as if tossed about by an unseen wind in slow motion. She was achingly beautiful. Her costume screamed power and authority. The golden buttons on her dress all were engraved with small thrones, to remind you where the authority came from. When she stepped upon the shore, her hair fell as if subjected to gravity for the first time. Her blue eyes looked at me placidly, but tucked in the corner of her mouth was that same smirk, that ¡®fighting not to laugh¡¯ look she¡¯d worn the last time I¡¯d seen her ¡ª just a month for me, much longer for her. ¡°Holy shit,¡± I said to myself, then, ¡°guys! Come see this!¡± ¡°¡®Guys come see this,¡¯¡± she repeated with only a little bit of mocking tone, ¡°is that all I get after sixty years.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve got to be kidding me. Guys!¡± ¡°I had to cast a very high level spell to get here,¡± she said. The others finally made it to the beach. Cal had his bow out, unsure what was going on. Bernadette was right next to me. Rachel was further up on the beach. Bernadette ran toward her. I wasn¡¯t sure what to think at first. Then I heard the shrill scream of joy, and it became a little more clear. She leapt into the air, and threw her arms and legs around Sofia. Sofia laughed, but groaned too as she tottered under Bernadette¡¯s weight. ¡°I¡¯m optimized for spellcasting, please,¡± she said with a chuckle. Bernie hopped off her, but took her hand and led her up the beach. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you come sooner?!¡± she asked. ¡°I do not have too much time,¡± she said, gathering her stunning silver hair over her shoulder and running her gloved hands through it, ¡°but I¡¯ll answer what questions I can.¡± I looked to Rachel, who gave me a nod. She looked to Cal, who put his arrow back in his quiver. ¡°I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re really here,¡± I said. ¡°Give me a sec,¡± she said with a mischievous grin. Sofia smiled, tugged on the thin golden chain that came from the pocket on her dress, and revealed her slate in a golden case. She quickly typed something as she walked. My slate buzzed. I pulled it out and tapped my messages.
Inara: Believe it 8:33pm
That was the official ¡®Saviors of the World I Guess¡¯ chat, the one Caleb had made. ¡°Caleb is gonna freak,¡± Rachel said. ¡°Yeah, well,¡± Sofia replied, ¡°I can¡¯t concern myself with Caleb too much anymore.¡± We hadn¡¯t really explained the slates to Cal yet. So, he must have been confused. His expression was dark and unreadable. Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site. ¡°How long will you be with us?¡± Bernadette asked, her eyes shining with admiration. ¡°I have maybe thirty minutes before my duties take me elsewhere,¡± Sofia said. Here she was, as beautiful as she¡¯d always been. Magic, surely. But then I thought of the last thing Bernadette had said about Sofia, that she had liked her before, but didn¡¯t know who she was now. It was such a careful, cautious thing to say. Where was that Bernadette? Was this an act? I didn¡¯t want to think it was an act, because she had often turned that enthusiasm towards me, and if any of that hadn¡¯t been genuine¡­ We¡¯d arranged some driftwood into two benches around a firepit that we¡¯d yet to light. When Sofia approached, she waved her hand and the bundle of sticks lit, a tidy fire springing to life. She smoothed her dress and sat. ¡°And what duty is that?¡± asked Rachel. ¡°The thrones¡¯?¡± Bernadette gave her a surprised look. Rachel didn¡¯t seem to notice. ¡°Yes. The throne. By the look on your faces you seem to not think very highly of it.¡± ¡°Um,¡± I spoke up, ¡°we just haven¡¯t seen much good from any authority here. The elves seem negligent, and the Throne. Well,¡± my eyes cut to Rachel, who refused to give me a signal either way so I barreled through, ¡°well they killed Rachel¡¯s crew and imprisoned her.¡± ¡°Indeed? I can¡¯t say that surprises me,¡± Sofia said coolly. ¡°The queen must see you as a threat. For what little it¡¯s worth, I am sorry.¡± Rachel unscrewed the lid on her hooch and took a sip, her eyes hard. ¡°I don¡¯t know much about Caleb¡¯s people, but they aren¡¯t here,¡± I said. ¡°Um, speaking of. Why are you here?¡± Sofia smiled and my heart skipped a god-damned beat. I thought I¡¯d put my crush behind me, but here she was. And it was back like it¡¯d never left. ¡°I wish I could say it was because I missed you. After all these years I hardly remember you. You all look¡­ well you all look very much like heroes now. I dare say it suits you.¡± ¡°You look good too,¡± I said. What an idiot. She laughed. ¡°Of course I do,¡± she said, flipping her silver hair over her shoulder dramatically. ¡°The rituals are hardly cheap.¡± Bernadette laughed, and so did I. Sofia smiled sheepishly at her own joke. ¡°At any rate,¡± she continued, leaning forward, her hair falling back down her shoulder like a silver shimmering waterfall in the firelight, ¡°I need you to turn back.¡± ¡°Why?¡± Bernadette asked. ¡°Because Flaymskerge is far too powerful. You cannot hope to defeat him without an ally of Caleb¡¯s caliber or better.¡± ¡°So he¡¯s as strong as they say he is?¡± Cal asked. Sofia¡¯s smile was glittering and sweet. ¡°How about we have some wine,¡± Sofia said. She held her hands out and three glimmering goblets appeared. She handed them out, and summoned two more plus a bottle of wine. I volunteered to open it ¡ª it had a large enough cork that I could just pull it out ¡ª and poured some in each glass. Rachel and Bernadette seemed appreciative but didn¡¯t drink. I wasn¡¯t gonna turn down free fucking wine, so I drank darn near half of my cup in one go. Sofia took a sip, and only then did the girls follow. Cal held his goblet firmly, but I didn¡¯t see him drink. Sofia spent some time telling us stories she knew about Caleb, peppering in some stories about her own time as an adventurer. Caleb''s stories sounded too good to be true. He had slain his own dragon, and fought the Goblin King in single combat ¡ª unarmored. When she talked about her adventures as Inara, it was easy to imagine them happening together. But of course they hadn¡¯t. Inara¡¯s stories sounded scary. She¡¯d convinced a whole camp of trolls to eat poisoned cakes. She¡¯d seduced an elven knight who¡¯d hurt her friend, and stabbed him in his sleep. Bernadette had gotten a kick out of that. ¡°So,¡± Sofia said, ¡°Caleb. He¡¯s among the greatest knights this realm has ever seen. Peerless in combat. Brave in battle, and clever in tactics. Most of the stories do him justice, even the ones that seem too good to be true.¡± ¡°Really?¡± Rachel asked. ¡°Really,¡± Sofia said. ¡°I just wish he¡¯d shown up,¡± and here she held her gloved thumb and index finger up to show a small distance between them, ¡°this much sooner. Maybe he could have¡­¡± she trailed off and her eyes turned dark. She took a sip of wine. ¡°Well it¡¯s too late now. He thinks he¡¯s saving the world, but the only truly safe world is one united under one kingdom. Only the Queen can do that.¡± ¡°So,¡± Bernadette said, ¡°this isn¡¯t really about how dangerous the dragon is at all.¡± ¡°It''s not just about the danger, no.¡± ¡°Your speech has ensured that I have to kill the dragon,¡± Rachel said. She stood, and I could see her stumble a bit. ¡°Rachel,¡± I said, trying but failing to find the words to calm her. I gave her a pitying look despite myself. ¡°I know you have reason to hate the throne,¡± Sofia said. ¡°But surely you see how a strong Elven Kingdom is a thorn in Caleb¡¯s side as much as the Throne¡¯s. What do you gain from helping the elves? Why should you fight this Elven King¡¯s battles for him?¡± ¡°What about the loot?¡± I said, trying to look diplomatic, and advocate for our needs. I wasn¡¯t sure I wanted to take whatever deal she was angling for, but I also wanted to make sure she didn¡¯t forget what we¡¯d be giving up. ¡°What use do you have for a dragon horde, when you can befriend a sorceress instead?¡± At this she plucked a hair from her scalp and flourished it. Purple flame traveled along a dark shape and coalesced into a sword. The sword was forged from black iron that shone with a purple iridescence in the firelight, and set with rubies in the hilt. She presented it to Bernadette. Which was interesting. Bernie¡¯s eyes widened in interest. She pulled out her slate. ¡°We don¡¯t need your cursed sword,¡± Rachel said, then walked off. It was silent for some time. Puking sounded from behind the tents. Bernie handed me the weapon next. I took the sword. A thrill of power surged through my arm, and into my body. I felt it settle in my chest, and I knew that I could do dangerous, and strange things with this gift. ¡°Check it,¡± Sofia said. ¡°Promise to leave the dragon alone, and the sword is yours. Come to the castle, and you would be given wealth worthy of your stature as heroes.¡± I swung the sword experimentally. It trailed purplish energy like an afterimage in the air. I checked the sword¡¯s stats.
¡®Edge of Nothing, +5. Improved spellcasting focus. This sword is forged from hammered voidstuff, and its edge knows no peer. Has the properties vorpal and sharp. Those attuned to this weapon may see through magical darkness and cast the following spells at will ¡ª globe of darkness, bloodfeast, and travel through shadows. Additionally, once per day they may cast the spell starshatter.
The tooltip described ¡®vorpal¡¯ as ignoring natural armor and ¡®sharp¡¯ as dealing 50% extra damage to armor and triple damage to objects. So, there was that too. No idea what the spells did, but some of them seemed pretty self explanatory. I was curious what the hell starshatter did, but handed the sword back to Bernadette without investigating further. ¡°It¡¯s a good sword,¡± I said. Given it¡¯s +5 bonus, it likely was one of the best swords we¡¯d ever get. I could see this for the bait it was, but what glorious bait indeed. My thoughts turned a little sour. This was a lot of effort, when all it would have taken for me, was for her to ask. Bernadette recognized something in my expression, and furrowed her brow. ¡°Holding something so valuable makes me nervous,¡± she said, handing the sword back to Sofia. ¡°Can you keep this for a moment while I collect Rachel and hear her concerns?¡± ¡°Of course,¡± Sofia said, her eyes shining with mirth from a joke only she knew. Chapter 18 — We Take the Offer The woods chirped not too far from us, and the wind from the lake blew cool. The four of us had arranged in a circle behind one of the tents. We weren¡¯t comfortably out of earshot from the fire, so there was a lot of harsh whispering. ¡°She summoned that thing like it was nothing,¡± Bernadette said. ¡°A couple more trinkets like that, and we could carve through the Throne¡¯s defenses like freaking tissue paper, walk right up to the Queen, and go home.¡± Cal just stood back and listened for a bit. He said that whatever our course, his place was here. Rachel seemed more sad than angry. ¡°That puts us against her, and I don¡¯t know if I have it in me to fight her just yet. Not when I have a chance to win back a friend.¡± ¡°You sure didn¡¯t act like it back there,¡± I said. ¡°Hey, I got layers. I can hate her for the throne she represents, but also hope that she abandons it.¡± ¡°So,¡± Bernadette said, eyes flashing with a conspiratorial glint, ¡°we are agreed that this is all some kind of trap?¡± ¡°Sure,¡± I said. ¡°Doesn¡¯t mean the bait ain¡¯t worth the snare.¡± ¡°And what bait is that?¡± Rachel continued. ¡°The sword, or her?¡± I looked at the both in turn, then shrugged. ¡°I¡¯m honestly kind of offended that she thought she needed the sword to convince me,¡± I admitted. ¡°She looks just like I remember her.¡± Bernadette crossed her arms, but said nothing. ¡°Yeah, and that concerns me as much as anything else,¡± Rachel added. ¡°What must these rituals be that keeps her looking so young?¡± ¡°Look,¡± I said. ¡°We are all in agreement that she isn¡¯t trustworthy. Or at least that her offer isn¡¯t trustworthy. No matter what we do, our path is set. We go after that dragon. But we leave her on as friendly terms as we can.¡± ¡°Agreed,¡± Bernadette said, brightening. ¡°Sure,¡± Rachel relented. I led them back to the fire. Sofia had her back to us, gazing over the water. Her silver hair shone brightly in the firelight. I could see a nervousness in her hands, fingers wearing on a loose thread from her jacket. ¡°Sofia,¡± I said. She turned. It took the barest moment for her smile to appear. ¡°I do not often have the opportunity to hear that name. I¡¯ve gone by so many others. It¡¯s nice.¡± That sounded odd to me. ¡®So many others¡¯ was not Inara, the name she should be going by. But I could be making too much of a simple phrase. ¡°We¡¯ve decided that our best option is to stay our course,¡± I said. ¡°Any help you may give us at this point,¡± Bernadette cut in, ¡°may open you to vulnerability. If the Queen ever learned that you helped the Throne¡¯s enemies¡­¡± Sofia¡¯s eyes crinkled with amusement. Then she raised her hand. ¡°Your concern is touching. But let me make one last offer.¡± ¡°I hardly think¡ª¡± Rachel started but stopped when Sofia raised a finger. Sofia held the Edge of Nothing point down, and drew purple fire from its pommel. Fire swirling around her glove, she shook it in the air. The fire caught on something unseen and spread into a black door. The door shimmered in the air for a moment, and then fell away, revealing a portal into some place distant. It seemed to be a charming rooftop cafe, patrons sitting and talking under the lamplight. Past them was an enormous castle, shining white from the moon, little windows twinkling like distant stars. No sound came from the cafe, and none of the people revealed seemed to notice the portal. ¡°Caer Vortigern,¡± Sofia said, flourishing her hand at the portal, ¡°and the city of Swordfall beside it. The seat of Caleb¡¯s power. To take this gift you need only walk through this portal.¡± I looked to the others. Cal seemed stricken, Rachel surprised. Bernadette remained unreadable. ¡°This is hundreds of miles away,¡± Rachel said. ¡°To return here would possibly take months.¡± ¡°Certainly,¡± Sofia said. ¡°But then you would only need Mark to complete the party. And be one step closer to home.¡± ¡°We wouldn¡¯t just need Mark,¡± I said. Sofia¡¯s lip quirked into something that could be bitterness. ¡°What about Flaymskerge?¡± Bernadette asked. ¡°Maybe the Elven King would finally be forced to clean up his own mess,¡± Sofia answered. ¡°I¡¯ll go,¡± Cal said. ¡°Woah,¡± I said, wheeling on him, ¡°what about all that talk about duty to the people? You¡¯re just going to abandon them?¡± ¡°My reasons are my own.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve been here for five years,¡± Rachel said, ¡°and I haven¡¯t been able to get Caleb out of that damn castle. Maybe¡­¡± ¡°If you¡¯ve been able to do this at any time, just hop over to see him, why haven¡¯t you?¡± Bernadette asked. ¡°I didn¡¯t see the point,¡± she said. ¡°Caleb can talk to me anytime he wants,¡± here she raised her slate. ¡°It¡¯s just that long ago we found that we have precious little to say to each other.¡± I could see a mountain of things unsaid. Whatever happened between the two, they seemed unwilling to talk about it. Obviously it had something to do with the Battle of the Unspoken Word. Huh. That¡¯s a weird name for a battle. And the Evil Queen had Knights of the Word too. I wondered what the hell all that meant. I had just assumed this was all Fantasy Name bullshit but maybe it was something else. ¡°I say we go see Caleb,¡± Bernie said. ¡°We¡¯re underleveled for the dragon anyway.¡± I looked to Rachel. ¡°I wanted to punch a dragon,¡± she said, slurring her words a bit. Then she looked to Sofia. ¡°How often does a dragon come along?¡± ¡°Probably every twenty years or so,¡± Sofia admitted. ¡°Oh, so I¡¯ll get another chance later even if we miss this one. Sure. Why not go see Caleb.¡± This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. ¡°Man,¡± I said. ¡°We¡¯re just gonna let her tell us what to do?¡± Bernadette shrugged. Rachel looked out at the forest. Cal¡¯s eyes were hard. ¡°We¡¯ll still be making progress,¡± Bernie said. ¡°Meeting Caleb is a quest. We¡¯ll be making progress either way.¡± I gazed at Sofia. All I got in return was a smirk. We all just stared at the portal. I was reminded of the last time we looked at a portal cut into space ¡ª the blue door. I didn¡¯t know what to say. I didn¡¯t know what to do. If I stayed here, maybe I got burned to a crisp by a dragon. Or maybe I became a hero of legend. If I went, maybe I was one step closer to returning home. Did I even want to go home? Yes. Yes I did. This place was scary. Also. I¡¯d rather be on the couch playing video games, preferably something science fiction ¡ª or hell even sports ¡ª than lugging fifty pounds of gear up a hill every day. I didn¡¯t know what to do. Bernadette did what she always did. She grabbed the nearest person¡¯s hand, Rachel, and ran. Rachel snagged her pack, laughing. They entered the portal, and disappeared. Cal ran after them. It was just me and Sofia now. ¡°What is going on with you?¡± I asked. ¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about,¡± she replied, her eyes cool and simmering with an emotion that was difficult to parse. ¡°I know that to you, I¡¯m just a distant memory,¡± I said. ¡°But to me, I saw you a couple months ago. Where is that girl? Because you look like her but¡­¡± I trailed off, not sure where I was going. ¡°Maybe she died long ago,¡± she said, suddenly very close, her voice just above a whisper. She raised her chin, looking at me from heavy lidded eyes. I couldn¡¯t tell what she was thinking, but she looked very pretty. ¡°I don¡¯t believe that.¡± ¡°Then stay. Maybe you¡¯ll find her.¡± Her mouth tucked into a grin. ¡°What is with this mysterious talk?¡± I asked, just above a whisper. It took everything I had just to say it, I couldn¡¯t muster anger too. ¡°¡®Maybe you¡¯ll find her?¡¯ ¡®Don¡¯t make promises you can¡¯t keep?¡¯ Why won¡¯t you just tell me what¡¯s going on?¡± ¡°Because maybe it wouldn¡¯t make a difference. Would you stay here with me? Would you abandon your friends to be with me?¡± What she was thinking suddenly seemed a little more clear. Our faces were close, and I felt the invitation. I thought back to the half a dozen times I had felt this invitation that I didn¡¯t take. She wanted me to kiss her. I only had to meet her halfway. I smiled sheepishly, turned, and grabbed my pack. Didn¡¯t want to lose another one. ¡°Why even ask that?¡± I said to dispel the tension. ¡°What¡¯s holding you back from coming with us?¡± ¡°The Throne, Zachary. The throne holds me back.¡± ¡°Fuck the throne. Why not just do what you want?¡± ¡°And there is my answer,¡± she said, like she saw something in what I said that answered a question she didn¡¯t ask. Which was frustrating. ¡°Yeah. Anyway. I¡¯m the healer now. They need me. You know how to get in contact with me.¡± ¡°I do.¡± ¡°Goodbye,¡± I said. ¡°Au revoir,¡± she said. I ran through the door. This portal was much simpler than the Blue Door. A quick little, ¡®pop¡¯ and I was standing in the middle of a cafe on the other side of the continent. I looked over my shoulder to check if it was still there. Behind me was just more cafe. Couldn¡¯t go back if I wanted to. Bernadette was waiting for me. Rachel had someone¡¯s drink in her hand already. ¡°Took you long enough,¡± Bernie remarked. I gave her an awkward smile. ¡°Sofia wanted to talk.¡± ¡°Hmm. I¡¯m not always going to be there to grab your hand,¡± Bernie said. ¡°What¡¯s that supposed to mean?¡± Bernadette took Rachel¡¯s hand, and they walked away. Rachel gave me an awkward, apologetic smile. It was just me and Cal ¡°So¡­¡± I started. Cal cut me a look. ¡°She¡¯s mad,¡± he said. ¡°Didn¡¯t look mad.¡± ¡°Hmm.¡± We walked down the iron railing and to the street below. The night-time streets stretched on as sturdy cobblestone lit by magic blue flame from lamps at regular intervals. I pulled my slate out as we walked. I thumbed over to Rachel. Breznik: she tried to kiss me Oriana: who? Bernie? She said yall sucked face. Breznik: no. I mean, yeah Bernie and I kissed. But Sofia tried to kiss me too. Oriana: Oh shit. But you didn¡¯t though? Breznik: I didn¡¯t. The night air was cool and pleasant. The breeze held a hint of fish from the docks. Stars twinkled above, but less than out in the Kingswood. Light pollution, even here. The buildings were much like the ones in Amaryllis, stucco walls and painted beams, but here and there were concrete municipal buildings. Some buildings had a patchwork quality to them, old stucco on one floor, and new wooden ones built right on top of it. Most buildings were at least two stories. Many reached three or four. People bustled from here and there. Chatter drifted in from cafes, shops, and street corners. This was an honest to god city. I felt a little more at home already. My slate buzzed. Oriana: Good. You can never tell Bernie. Breznik: Why not? I looked up at the street, and realized that the way was blocked by a carriage with its wheel stuck in a pothole. I looked to Cal who shrugged. We turned down the alley. I went back to my slate. I had a new message. Oriana: you like her? Breznik: Bernie? Oriana: Of course Bernie! Breznik: yeah. I really do. Oriana: I swear to god, if you even so much as think about seeing another chick behind her back Suddenly, I was aware of people blocking our path. ¡°Welcome To Swordfall,¡± one of them said. Three men holding clubs, tattered coats buckled tight across broad shoulders, menaced us. I looked to Cal. His bow wasn¡¯t strung. I looked behind and a man with a woodsman¡¯s axe was behind us. ¡°We¡¯ll take the crossbow first,¡± he said. I tossed Cal my loaded crossbow, and didn¡¯t even look to see if he caught it. My hand went to my sword, and it was out, and my feet were churning in an instant. I wanted to keep my shit, thank you very much. The world slowed and the thugs turned red. A bolt from Cal slowly passed my shoulder and I raced it to them. The one on the right flinched when the bolt entered his neck. I slammed my shoulder into the one in the middle and slammed the flat of my sword into the other one. I glanced over my shoulder, and saw Cal drop the crossbow and pull his sword. We made quick work of them. They all fell before the end of Adrenaline Rush. My slate buzzed. Cal went to loot the bodies, and I pulled out my Slate. Only a couple seemed dead but the living ones were too hurt to bother us. Oriana: You are?! What the hell man! Oriana: I am going to kick your ass so hard. Breznik: I¡¯m not! I¡¯m not! Oriana: Good Breznik: I¡¯m not even sure if Bernie and I are ¡®seeing¡¯ each other. It¡¯s all so new. Oriana: from looking at you two it doesn¡¯t look new. But I also get that you don¡¯t want to scare her off. She¡¯s flighty. Wants her freedom. Breznik: Yeah I got that feeling too. Oriana: if she even got a whiff of you interested in another girl, she¡¯d bolt. Maybe not physically, cuz we need each other, but I wouldn¡¯t put it past her. Breznik: wait. Isn¡¯t that a little hypocritical? She¡¯s kissed other dudes here. Oriana: has she kissed any dudes lately? Breznik: I don¡¯t think so? Oriana: there you go I put my slate up. Cal shoved some coins into his pouch. ¡°Find anything good?¡± I asked. He shrugged and said that it was mostly coins. Their clubs seemed to be table legs with nails in them. One had a nice sturdy shillelagh though. I threaded it through a strap on my pack. We finished cutting through the alley and made our way to the first tavern we could find. I ordered a drink immediately. Until we were invited to the palace, we figured it was best to have a base. ¡°We should be careful to remember that this city is not the Kingswood,¡± Cal said. ¡°I know,¡± I replied. It was one thing to drop a highwayman in the woods where the bears could eat him; it was another to kill a guy in a city where he may have family. Well, we were here now, halfway across the world in a strange city that seemed to have very little interest in heroes. Now what? Chapter 19 — Swordfall The tavern we¡¯d landed at had a sign of a red stag out front. Inside, it revealed itself to be large, busy, but cozy, lit by dim lamps and a stained glass window depicting an elven woman in armor. The bartender here introduced herself as Wu¡¯ulush. But she said we could call her Lush on account of our lowlander accents. Despite the green skin and tusks, she looked very much how I¡¯d expect a woman of her age to look, rotund and matronly, her eyes seemed permanently creased with a smile. Until I asked her about the painting above the bar ¡ª a beautiful oil painting of an axe crossed over a nasty-looking hooked sword on a bed of velvet. ¡°Those,¡± she said, pointing to the painting with a jerked thumb, ¡°are my ancestral weapons. My husband carried them into battle, and his father before him, and so on.¡± ¡°Why just the painting?¡± ¡°You¡¯ll have to ask your king about that,¡± she deadpanned. ¡°Price of an orc living in the city, they say.¡± ¡°Oh, well. That sucks.¡± ¡°Eh,¡± she shrugged, face brightening into the one I was more familiar with. ¡°I¡¯m happy to be a business owner. Didn¡¯t have much use for them anyway. And the city got a hundred thousand folks all crammed together. If we all had swords, maybe we¡¯d find a reason to use them.¡± I didn¡¯t know much about this city yet. Maybe this all made sense from Caleb¡¯s point of view. I¡¯d never been a king before. But it seemed weird that an elf got to put their sword behind the bar and not an orc. Which reminded me. I wrote a letter. Sent it to the Squirrel at Brindletree. Maybe I could still purchase that sword through the mail. The next three days passed quickly. Rachel texted Caleb as soon as she got here. He let us know it would be a while before we saw him. I spent a lot of time practicing my social drinking skills. Bernie spent most of her time batmanning around the neighborhood, watching folk from rooftops. The only time I saw her was when she showed up to sing with us. Cal joined the group too. He borrowed a lute from Lush and played fairly well. Once we were done she¡¯d disappear into the night again. Cal and I got to be pretty close. For the most part it was just the two of us. Any time I asked him what he was doing here he just said something like ¡®I always wanted to see Swordfall,¡¯ or ¡®there is someone I need to meet.¡¯ We took to walking the streets of the city at night together. After that first night, few cutpurses or thieves tried anything with us. We¡¯d earned a reputation that preceded us. The city was full of life, teeming with people even at night. Art was everywhere. Graffiti covered the walls. Flowers bloomed in pots from windows. Posters peeled from brick. One particular bit of graffiti amused me. It said ¡®Raider is Luke¡¯s father!¡± Someone had painted a slash through ¡®Raider¡¯ and scribbled the words ¡®spoiler¡¯ underneath it. On the fourth day, the king showed up. Caleb walked in with a man in armor, and a prim woman in smartly tailored robes, who I guessed was Braelyn. He himself had beautiful pale blue and white armor, with a sculpted lion at the throat of his breastplate. A massive two handed sword hung from his hip, and a blue cape swished the floor when he walked. In some ways he was hardly different than he looked when we last met. His sculpted features and powerful build seemed the same. His face creased with mirth when he saw us. In other ways he was very different. His beard grew thick with salt and pepper, and a widow''s peak started to show at the edge of his well trimmed hair. I stood. ¡°Caleb,¡± I said. The man in armor stepped in front of him. ¡°Your majesty,¡± he corrected. I bowed ever so slightly. ¡°Of course,¡± I said. ¡°Your Majesty.¡± I had never been in the presence of royalty. But then again, it was hard to think of him as royalty. Last I saw him he was an EMT. Caleb waved his escort off. The woman¡¯s eyes narrowed, and she typed something into her slate. ¡°Zach,¡± he held his hand out. I took it, and he gripped my shoulder with the other. He had the good sense not to pull me into a hug, what with the lion on his armor. But I felt the warmth of his greeting either way. Cal cleared his throat. Caleb¡¯s escort bristled. ¡°Who is this?¡± Caleb asked. ¡°The Ranger,¡± he said. ¡°The Ranger,¡± I said, backing him up. We sat and shared an Ale. Rachel was there too but they¡¯d already been introduced. When I pulled out my slate, I noticed that I¡¯d leveled up. I chose bard again, because somebody had to keep these people alive. That meant that I was Bard 4. I was finally able to allocate attribute points. Caleb¡¯s brown eyes sparkled with interest as he talked to Rachel. In many ways he was the same guy. And damn he was handsome. Now that I wasn¡¯t so focused on Sofia I could recognize that without bitterness. Even without the armor, somebody that handsome had to be someone special. It was just good fortune that he¡¯d come to a place that gave him the opportunity to be a King. How many other kings were walking around the streets of Austin, their potential unfulfilled? With a motion of his hand his attendants worked to clear the bar. We sat at a table and spoke in hushed tones. Mostly it was just him and Rachel talking about the political situation in the city. I knew some of this from my social drinking, but much of it wasn¡¯t interesting to me anyway. I excused myself, and pulled out my slate to finish leveling up. I agonized over where to put my two attribute points. I had multiple options that would increase my power. Which was a good problem to have. I had two odd stats, one in intelligence and one in constitution. I could round both those out and get new modifiers to them. Constitution was especially attractive. I didn¡¯t want to die. But dexterity would increase my chance to hit with ranged weapons. I chose Charisma. Not only would it make me more charming, supposedly, and my spells more potent, but I got a damage buff to my weapon attacks thanks to Student of War. My sheet looked like this:
Beznik of the Red Hand the level 2 Fighter and level 4 War Bard Hit Points 39, Armor Class 18 (chainmail, shield) STR 12 (+1) DEX 10 (+0) CON 13 (+1) INT 13 (+1) WIS 10 (+0) CHA 16 (+3) Items: Adventurers¡¯ Kit (used), Chainmail, Crossbow, Longsword, Shield, Shortbow Abilities from Fighter: Adrenaline Rush (170% time dilation, double movement speed) and Second Chance (Twice per day heal +25% HP) Abilities from Bard: Dazzling Strikes (weapons attacks give off sparks, potentially distracting opponents). Inspiring Words (+60% movement speed, 10% instant healing, and +30% extra damage modifier to a party member of your choice). Student of War (extra weapon damage equal to CHA bonus) Spellcasting. Skills: History, Performance, Persuasion, Social Drinking
Dazzling Strikes was new. Looks like if I was able to get a hit off, I could distract them with sparks. I would have to try this out a bit before I got in combat next, because I didn¡¯t want it to distract me too. I also picked up a spell called ¡®command¡¯ and got another use of my second level spells, putting me at three uses of invisibility. If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. And then there she was, suddenly, leaning against a wooden pillar and cleaning her nails with a dagger. We¡¯d talked briefly here and there this week, but she¡¯d been distant. I put my slate up and approached Bernadette with what I hoped was confidence, but I could feel my face start to flush. She gave me a concerned frown. I pointed around a corner into the hallway. Soon it was just the two of us. ¡°Hey,¡± I said as my opener, because I¡¯m suave like that. ¡°Hey? That¡¯s it? You¡¯ve been dodging me all week.¡± ¡°No I haven¡¯t.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t text. You¡¯re one word only in the group chat. I show up, and all I get is a wave.¡± ¡°Well, what do you want me to do?¡± ¡°I thought after that night in the tent that maybe we¡¯d, I don¡¯t know, done something.¡± ¡°We didn¡¯t?¡± ¡°And then Sofia shows up and your eyes basically bug out of your skull¡ª¡± ¡°Sofia? I was surprised like everyone else.¡± ¡°I mean I know why, she¡¯s got the silver hair and the,¡± here she put her hands about three inches from her bust, ¡°tits out to here. But I didn¡¯t think¡ª¡± I stepped closer to her. I could feel my face get hot, really hot. And my stomach was doing flips. And I felt like maybe I was going to pass out. You can do it Zachary. Just do something. Do anything. Oh my god, don¡¯t just stand there! I swallowed. I breathed out, letting some nerves go. ¡°What? What was that? Am I boring you?¡± ¡°No,¡± I said, and I lifted her chin with my thumb and forefinger. ¡°Can I kiss you?¡± I asked, stepping even closer. ¡°Yeah, sure,¡± she said. I kissed her. Her lips were tight at first, and I considered that maybe I had messed up. But then she softened, took a step closer and leaned into me. It was nice. We hadn¡¯t kissed since that night in the tent, but in moments it was like no time had passed at all. Her hands balled into my shirt, and she pulled me closer, and kissed me harder. I put my arm around her. Then she pushed me away. I was shocked at first, but then there was her mischievous grin, and I knew that whatever it was, I hadn¡¯t messed up. She leapt onto me, wrapping her legs around me tight. I kissed her again. She kissed me back with force, and my head spun. I walked us into the wall, pinning her. My lips found the skin of her neck and, again, I heard her sigh. After what felt like an eternity ¡ªwhat felt like no time at all ¡ª I stopped and stepped back. She wiped her mouth with her thumb and finger. ¡°That was nice,¡± I said. ¡°I enjoyed it,¡± she said with an adorable shrug. ¡°What were we talking about?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think it mattered,¡± she said, and then walked out of the hall to sit down with the others. I will admit that I watched her leave. I am, in fact, just a man. Pulling out my slate, I texted her a little ¡®less than 3¡¯ emoticon. I saw her pull out her slate, shrug and continue talking to Braelyn. Well, hopefully it sent the message I was going for. In moments, we all piled into three carriages and headed to the palace. The king had his carriage ¡ª Bernie, Cal, and Brealyn had theirs ¡ª and I was stuck with Rachel. Not that I didn¡¯t like Rachel, but I was hoping to get more time alone with Bernie. Once we were on our way I addressed Rachel. ¡°So what are we getting ourselves into?¡± ¡°Oh, so now you¡¯re paying attention,¡± she said. ¡°I have been paying attention.¡± ¡°Okay, what¡¯s the situation at the castle?¡± ¡°Something about a spy? And delegates from the Kingswood?¡± ¡°Literally the only thing you¡¯ve done today is get drunk, and kiss Bernie.¡± ¡°Hey! I haven¡¯t kissed her in a week! That was a significant development for me.¡± I didn''t want to mention that it was a bit hypocritical for her to call out my drinking, since she was always drunk off her ass. But I also understood that she was hurting right now, in a way I could never understand. But what was I supposed to do about that? Rachel sighed. ¡°Sorry, man,¡± she said. ¡°Most important thing is the spy, and that the Kingswood is finally ready to sue for a permanent peace.¡± ¡°That¡¯s good.¡± ¡°Apparently the Goblin Horde overran the Northern border and the king needs military support.¡± The northern border was where we¡¯d just been. My heart sank. Brindletree, Berryhop. G¡¯nash. No, they were fine. They had to be. It took a second before I was able to focus on what Rachel was saying. ¡°¡ªseems like Bernie¡¯s play worked.¡± ¡°She told you about that?¡± I asked, head suddenly clearer. ¡°Somewhat. Said you chased off an elven vanguard from the border.¡± ¡°Something like that.¡± ¡°Anyway,¡± she said. ¡°This is some important shit, and you¡¯ve been checked out. And I get the feeling you¡¯ve been checked out for a long time. You¡¯ve got to pay attention, and you¡¯ve got to make sure that we don¡¯t have to watch our backs.¡± ¡°What¡¯s that supposed to mean?¡± ¡°Look, you¡¯re great at supporting us in combat. Bernie says if you hadn¡¯t taken those healing spells, you¡¯d both have died multiple times over. Hell, without you, Captain Wen would have me in a jail cell somewhere waiting for execution. But fighting isn¡¯t everything. We¡¯re headed into the lion¡¯s den of politics and skullduggery, and you need to be an asset, not a liability.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know if that¡¯s fair.¡± ¡°You almost got in a fight with our Ranger the day we were checking him out. If you¡¯d scared him off, that ogre may have killed us.¡± ¡°I mean. We don¡¯t know that.¡± ¡°And if Sophia teleported into this cab and said ¡®take me right here,¡¯ would you even wait for me to exit before getting your pants off?¡± ¡°That¡¯s out of line.¡± ¡°Am I wrong?¡± ¡°Maybe. Yes!¡± ¡°Oh my god, you said¡ª¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know, you¡¯re being weirdly hostile.¡± ¡°You have Forrest Gumped your way through this whole damn adventure¡ª¡± ¡°You know that movie is actually not very representative of neurodiver¡ª¡± ¡°I told you that, you idiot!¡± ¡°Oh, shit. You did.¡± I was starting to realize that maybe having this conversation while both of us were drunk was probably the wrong move. ¡°Look,¡± she said, calming down and sitting lower in her seat. ¡°I can¡¯t¡ª¡± her voice cracked here. It took her a second to get back on track. ¡°I used to be sharp. Now I¡¯m, you know.¡± She let out a huge exhale. ¡°I need your help. You can¡¯t be like me. You have to drink less. You have to be better. You have to take our hand every once in a while.¡± I didn¡¯t say anything for a time. I just thought about what she¡¯d said. I was so scared all the time. But so was she. And so was Bernie. I thought back to the scar on Bernie¡¯s back and how she still hasn¡¯t told me how she got it. I thought back to how we still haven¡¯t talked about that night I took a level in bard. Bernie trusted us, but she still wasn¡¯t letting us in. And she sure as hell didn¡¯t trust the rest of this world. She had to be hanging on by a thread. We all were. I had to step up. But I wasn¡¯t sure I knew how. How do you get good at stuff that wasn¡¯t just killing? I relied too much on what my stupid character sheet told me. My sheet told me I was good at killing and drinking and being charming. But people aren¡¯t just three things. I had to get better, had to be better. ¡°I don¡¯t know if I know how to do it,¡± I said. ¡°I didn¡¯t either until I proved to myself I could. You have to win our trust. You have to show up.¡± Nobody believed in me back home. Bernie believed in me. She didn¡¯t seem to believe in anything else but she believed in me. And now Rachel did too. She always had. What was I going to do about that? Man, was I suddenly tired. ¡°Well at least we can get some rest at the castle,¡± I said. ¡°That¡¯s just it,¡± Rachel said. ¡°The castle is dangerous. Remember¡ª¡± Commotion cut in. Screams. The clash of swords. A notification popped up on my slate.
New Quest: Kill the minotaur.
A roar split the air. Welp. Time to show these people I¡¯m not scared. I leapt out the window of the carriage. In front of the other stalled carriages was something like a hundred skeletons. They seemed to be pouring into the street from the left ¡ª the cemetery. How many dead were in a cemetery of a city of a hundred thousand? Purple fire belched from the empty sockets of their skulls. Most had chunks of brick or stone. I saw some clubs. A couple had weapons and armor, ancestral weapons, likely. Caleb had his sword loose. It glowed with a pale blue light that flashed brighter when he swung. ¡°Begon! Back to your eternal rest!¡± He said, then swinging and shattering the bodies of two skeletons in a single blow. I¡¯d learned a bit about him from the folk in the city. With every swing of his sword he proved his legend true. This was the Thunder on the Mountain, the Lion¡¯s Roar, the Cleaver of the Hill. This was the man that single handedly defeated the orc horde, and held back two other nations for fear of his wrath. The man was good at his job. And he had help. The knight fighting next to him was good. And an arc of lighting spiraled out from the outstretched palm of Braelyn. I ran to catch up with him. Bernie ran next to me. ¡°Ocultarse!¡± She winked out of view. Rachel came barreling up from behind me. ¡°You see the notification?¡± I yelled. ¡°Yep!¡± ¡°That means the adds are just a distraction.¡± And sure enough. From the cemetery gates came the minotaur ¡ª twelve feet tall, with horns that reached higher. He was a big boy. ¡°Ho, monster!¡± Caleb yelled. ¡°That one is mine!¡± he pointed at the minotaur. ¡°Give me space for my work!¡± I planned on doing just that. Chapter 20 — We Fight Together I crashed into the back line of skeletons, Rachel right next to me. Cal took shots where he could from the carriages. We would need to work to make room for Caleb. My stupid starter sword wasn¡¯t much, but most of them didn¡¯t have weapons that were deadly enough. I kept my shield high, and I swung with everything I had. The sparks were confusing at first but I learned to ignore them quick enough. Sadly, I don¡¯t think the skeletons were affected by them much. Still I fought with everything I had. Crash! Push! Swing! And then faster. Crash-push-swing! Crashpushswing! I fought my way toward Caleb. Bernie leapt out of invisible, and sliced the head from the shoulders of one going for Braelyn. ¡°Ocultarse!¡± I shouted. She winked away, just as two skeletons went for her. Then I was back in the fray. A skeleton with a sword went for me. I angled my shield, sending his sword wide, and hacked at his neck. I hit! But he was still going. Unlike a living man, these guys didn¡¯t feel pain. They didn¡¯t flinch. But they also sucked at fighting. And if you hacked at them enough they eventually lost whatever magic kept them together. Then Rachel came in swinging a skeleton by its legs. Both her ¡®weapon,¡¯ and the guy she hit exploded into bones and pulp. I couldn¡¯t watch the rest because I had to hold the line to keep pressure off of Caleb¡¯s backline. He just trusted that his knight and his magical secretary had his back. But more skeletons poured in by the second. I went for the guy I had just hit, stepping on his boot and crashing into him hard with my shield. He fell back. When he hit the ground he scattered into a hundred pieces with a sound like crashing Lincoln Logs. I wanted to save my Inspiring Words for when we really needed them. We were okay for now. I looked back at Caleb. The minotaur swung its massive axe. He ducked the first swing, and then sidestepped the overhand chop. The axe buried about half a foot into the cobblestone. Caleb used that moment to kick the axe from its hands. It clattered and slid across the ground. I was forced back into the fight in front of me as a baddie grabbed my shield. Oh no. That was not happening again. The skeletons in front of me all glowed red. I shoved my sword point into its face, and it exploded into purple fire and fell. That worked well. The next couple were pink but I kept going, hit first one and then a second, crushing their faces and setting them alight in their own purple fire. Who had made these guys? The world returned to its usual pace, and I yelled loud enough for the others to hopefully hear above the scrum. ¡°Go for the eyes! If you rupture the skull, they explode!¡± ¡°Good to know!¡± Rachel said. She picked two up and crushed their heads together, sending spark and flame into the air. I glanced back again. Caleb had just skewered his sword though the massive hand of the minotaur. It instinctively tried to grab him with the other. He twisted the point of his sword through the other hand, shish-kabobbing both at once. He then let go of the hilt with one hand and grabbed the blade on the other side of the skewer and pulled the creature down to its knees. Bernadette chose that time to strike, leaping off a pillar she had spiderclimbed, and plunging her sword into its neck. The minotaur roared in pain. It thrashed. Man, I was hoping that would end it. I couldn¡¯t watch. I had three skeletons coming for me. Rachel kicked the one to my left and he was just gone, tumbling off somewhere else. So I lashed out at the one to my right, making sure to keep my shield up for the one in the middle. In no time, Rachel worked her way around, and finished off one in the middle. and I took care of the last one. I said the last one, because the skeletons had stopped advancing from the cemetery. They were still there, waiting. I turned to the minotaur. Bernadette held fast to the sword in its neck, and with the other hand stabbed it over and over. The creature stood. Caleb let go of his sword and the creature stumbled back. His knight was beside him, handing him another. Caleb pierced the minotaur right through the chest, and the creature fell. Bernie leapt and rolled, then stood to her feet. The creature lay dead. We all waited ¡ª struggled to catch our breath ¡ª as we watched the horde at the cemetery gates. Then, shimmering into view, a woman twirled in the air. She wore a beautiful black and silver dress, and her red hair fluttered behind her, unbound in the wind. Small wrist length, black gloves covered her hands. A look of superiority and triumph twisted her lips. This person was obviously the source of our skeleton problem. I also had to recognize that her whole deal was cool as hell. ¡°By the order of Her Majesty Queen Tena¡ª¡± she stopped herself and snapped her fingers. ¡°Shit. No. I got this.¡± She started over. ¡°By the order of Queen Tenenbria, you are to hand over the traitor Breznik to me at once! Failure to¡ª¡± Cal let loose an arrow. It crashed against an unseen barrier around the woman, raining purple sparks. ¡°Stop that!¡± She said, brushing a stray hair from her face. Cal let go another arrow. It was also harmlessly redirected by whatever force protected her. ¡°Warden¡¯s hairy balls!¡± she cursed. ¡°Let me say my thing!¡± She tossed a fist sized ball of dark fire Cal¡¯s way. He dodged it, and it sent a spray of purple sparks across the cobblestone. Caleb just gave Cal a look, who lowered his bow. Caleb then retrieved his enchanted sword from the corpse of the minotaur, keeping his eyes on the woman as he did. This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source. ¡°As I attempted to say,¡± the mysterious woman continued. ¡°Failure to hand over the traitor Breznik, will result in a full scale invasion of my undead warriors, and many dead.¡± ¡°I do not brook threats,¡± Caleb said, gripping his sword, and causing it to glow menacingly. ¡°Not here. Not in my city.¡± ¡°You want Zachary?¡± Rachel said with incredulity. ¡°Zachary?¡± The woman said. ¡°No, I mean the traitor Breznik.¡± Caleb stood next to me and said, ¡°this man is under my protection.¡± ¡°That¡¯s one of the Promised Heroes?¡± the woman said. ¡°A little skinny, yeah? You sure you even want him?¡± Bernie slunk from the shadows to stand next to me and Caleb. ¡°He stays with us.¡± The woman tossed her voluminous hair back, then huffed at a misplaced strand of hair in her vision. ¡°You lot don¡¯t want to talk about it first?¡± she offered, waving her hand at us from her position floating above a horde of skeletons. I looked to Caleb, then Rachel, then Bernadette. They each just nodded to me in turn. Braelyn even stood next to me, hands crackling with tiny arcs of blue lightning. Couldn¡¯t see the knight though. He must have run for help. ¡°Death it is then,¡± the woman sighed. Purplish dark fire swirled around her fingertips. ¡°Wait!¡± I shouted. The woman looked surprised. ¡°What?¡± she asked. ¡°You never introduced yourself.¡± ¡°Shit!¡± she cursed. ¡°I knew I forgot something.¡± She took a deep breath, and folded her arms over her chest. ¡°I am the Arch-apprentice Sorceress Junavera. My enemies call me the Witch June.¡± I looked to Caleb. ¡°She¡¯s known,¡± he said. ¡°She doesn¡¯t tend to leave many living enemies though, so I¡¯m not sure anyone calls her ¡®the Witch June.¡¯¡± ¡°Alright the Witch June,¡± I said as politely as I could, and raising my shield. ¡°Let''s do this.¡± ¡°Have at you!¡± she yelled, launching a ball of dark fire at Caleb. It missed. The skeletons marched forward. The fire at Caleb¡¯s feet bloomed into ¡ª well ¡ª I was finally able to witness a classic spell from the Game ¡ª a ball of fire. Purple-dark flames spread into a massive, undulating ball of ever expanding flame in milliseconds. Caleb held up his hand, a shimmering blue orb of energy encompassing him and Cal. The fire parted around the blue orb and continued right at me. I grabbed Rachel and presented my shield, pulling us both down to crouch behind it. Bernie leapt off my back and planted her feet on a carriage, feet pumping to outrun the flame. And then I saw nothing but the searing purple light and heat. I tucked my chin, and closed my eyes. Fire licked at my shoulders and back as it passed me. I hit myself with a first level Cure Light Wounds. Then it was done. I stood. I grabbed Rachel¡¯s arm and hit her with a healing spell too. The clatter of skeletal feet from the approaching horde grew louder and louder. Rachel and I fought back to back. Now that I knew how to beat them, I had a pretty good rhythm of blocking, then lunging, piercing their skulls, and sending them to the floor. Arrows kept pinging off June¡¯s mystical shield. Braelyn sent arcs of lightning where she could. I couldn¡¯t see the king, but I saw skeletons fly into the air, and could guess. Six armored knights crashed in from the alley across the street. I think we could do this. ¡°I spent months!¡± screamed the witch June, each additional phrase punctuated by a bolt of purple fire. ¡°In the catacombs. MAKING. SKELETONS!¡± ¡°She¡¯s been here for months?¡± I asked Braelyn. ¡°Apparently!¡± The skeletons kept coming. My arms were starting to tire. I was suddenly convinced we needed to end this. Where was Bernie? I spied June waving her arms in the air, winding up for a big spell. ¡°Can¡¯t you counterspell that?¡± I asked Braelyn. ¡°I am!¡± she replied, activating a glowing rune in the air. ¡°She keeps counterspelling me!¡± I took Rachel¡¯s hand, and we ran around an upturned carriage just in time for a wall of fire to rush past us. I held up my shield and most of it passed by harmlessly. ¡°Thanks,¡± she said. I just nodded. There, with her back against the top of the upturned carriage, stood Bernadette. Her eyes were wide and staring off at something distant. I had never seen it on her before, but I knew panic when I saw it. I rushed to her. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± I asked. She just shook her head ¡®no,¡¯ with a quick jerky movement. I had no idea what this was about at first. Last I saw her she was running up the carriage to avoid the fireball. The burn marks on her back ¡ª maybe it was to do with that? ¡°Is it the fire?¡± I asked. Bernadette just nodded her head. Okay. My little brother got panic attacks. I¡¯d seen this happen before. It was early, I think, so maybe if I grounded her quickly, she could work her way out of it. Either we got this cleared up quickly, or it lasted hours. We didn¡¯t have that kind of time. We needed our killer. A skeleton ran around the side of the carriage and Rachel punched it. It flew off into parts unknown. ¡°Rachel! I believe in you!¡± She crushed three more skeletons in rapid succession. I had to be quick with this. I folded her in my arms. ¡°Hey, I got you,¡± I said. ¡°Just focus on me for a second. Just for a second feel me.¡± She hugged me back in a crushing hug. I heard her breathe deep. She was fighting it. Okay. It¡¯s the fire. We can deal with that. We just have to stop the fire. ¡°Bernie,¡± I said, pushing her back at a distance, hands on her shoulders so I could see her face. ¡°You can stop the fire.¡± ¡°No I can¡¯t.¡± ¡°Yes you can. You just have to stab the fire.¡± She looked at me. It was with confusion, but I¡¯ll take that over panic. ¡°Can¡¯t stab a fire,¡± she said. ¡°Yes you can. You just have to stab June.¡± ¡°She¡¯s so high up. I don¡¯t¡ª maybe.¡± I kept holding Bernadette at arms length, but turned to Rachel, who at the moment wasn¡¯t fighting skeletons. ¡°What¡¯s up?¡± she asked. ¡°You got a plan?¡± ¡°You read X-men comics?¡± ¡°Watched the show.¡± ¡°You know what a fastball special is?¡± Rachel smiled. ¡°Hell yeah.¡± I turned to Bernadette. ¡°Rachel is going to throw you.¡± Bernadette just nodded. I had her back. Now that I had given her something to do about it, she was back. This really could have gone another way had she not fought out of the panic. She should have told us about the fire. I hoped this worked. I ran to the other carriage and climbed onto the roof. I pulled out my hunting bow and started launching arrows. They didn¡¯t seem to be able to pierce that shield of hers, but I wanted her attention. I got it. She started moving her arms, winding up for another spell. Rachel and Bernie were on the other carriage. Rachel had Bernie¡¯s feet in one hand, and steadied her with the other. Bernie had her magic dagger out, and her other hand open. Then, Rachel shot-put her ¡ª she threw her. Bernie soared through the air, silently. June looked at her, because she was a full grown woman soaring through the air at her, and widened her eyes in shock. She stopped casting her spell. Bernie crashed into her. She looped one arm around her waist, and stabbed over and over with the other. June pulled her own dagger out of a sheath at her back and stabbed Bernie in the neck. Bernie held on tight and kept stabbing. June waved her arms and vanished. Bernie seemed to hang in the air for a moment. Then she fell. Braelyn pointed at her, cast a spell, and she floated down harmlessly. We continued to fight for several more moments. But it wasn¡¯t long until the skeletons beat a full retreat. We¡¯d won the day. Chapter 21 — A Letter From the Kingswood Caleb woke me up by tearing the covers off and trumpeting in his booming voice, ¡°What a wonderful day for a run!¡± I groaned. Braeyln flung open the curtains. Light poured in. ¡°Why?¡± I groaned, swinging my legs to the edge of the bed. Caleb threw my gambison at me. ¡°Full armor today!¡± he said. I groaned some more. ¡°At least let me dress without her,¡± I said, motioning to his elven assistant. I was in my small clothes, and a shirt. ¡°Oh, she¡¯s family, no need to be shy,¡± Caleb said, tossing my pants at me. I hiked them on and fastened my belt. Braeyln¡¯s eyes raked across me, and she shrugged, as if she were not particularly impressed. I just scrunched my face up in derision, and pulled my gambison on. She typed something in her slate. Great. For what it was worth I had gained a decent amount of muscle definition. So I felt like I looked pretty good. Past month and a half went by quickly. Bernie found the spy almost immediately, and murdered him real good, so it¡¯s just been training, and getting to know the people in the castle after that. I¡¯d leveled up to 7, and Bernie and Rachel 9. More on that later. Bernie thought that there may be more spies hiding in and among the king¡¯s supporters, but I figured we were in the clear. We were all more focused on leveling up for the catacombs fight. The Witch June was still out there. And thanks to Bernie¡¯s knife of tracking we knew exactly where. Caleb helped me into my chain shirt, gauntlet, greaves, and breastplate. It was mythril, so it barely made a noise, and was much lighter than my conventional chainmail armor. I still didn¡¯t want to run in it. ¡°Come on,¡± I said as they finished getting me in the armor, ¡°can¡¯t we do the armor tomorrow?¡± I had a splitting headache. I only drank at night now ¡ª baby steps. Caleb laughed. ¡°Every stat point you earn on your own is yours to keep. DM can¡¯t take it away from you.¡± ¡°He can do that?¡± ¡°Maybe!¡± I rolled my eyes. We ran through the halls. Bernie ran beside us. I smiled at her. She smiled back. I hadn¡¯t confronted her over all the things we¡¯ve left unsaid, but we were continuing to build trust. We¡¯d only kissed once since that last time in the tavern. She¡¯d crawled through my window, and we kissed in my bed. I asked her why we didn¡¯t do that more often, and she said ¡®don¡¯t make things complicated.¡¯ Whatever the hell that meant. I briefly thought back to the moment Caleb found out about us, and his advice that we take use of his ¡®supplies closet.¡¯ Not only was it regularly resupplied with cheese, wine, and olive oil, it had special tea to help with cramps, and condoms. Apparently goatskin condoms were far more comfortable than they sounded. Not that I¡¯d had an opportunity to use them. I almost ran straight into a maid carrying tea. Dodging in mythril armor wasn¡¯t that much harder than without, but the mobility round the hips was less. I turned to the side and muttered an apology. ¡°Close one!¡± Caleb said. I ran harder to catch up. Bernie ran right next to me. And so did Braelyn. Bernadette had an easier time dodging, on account of her new armor. It was black and red silksteel, augmented by a pair of magic bracers. The material swathed her in black fabric that provided decent protection from damn near everything but bludgeoning. I tried to steady my breath. We had a long way to go. Rachel noticed us from her perch leaning against the wall talking to a maid supporting a tray of pastries. She whispered something into her ear that made the maid giggle, then snagged a pastry with a wink. She fell into formation in front of me. ¡°Good morning!¡± I said. ¡°You¡¯re late,¡± she said, before taking a bite. I just shrugged, and we ran. ¡°Beta formation!¡± I said. Bernie reached out her hand, and Rachel grabbed it, before she tossed her to the wall. Bernie landed easily, then leapt the door frame as she ran along the stone wall vertically. A maid with a plate of sausages passed, and Bernie grabbed one as she ran. ¡°Here come the stairs!¡± Rachel warned. I cursed despite myself. Running down stairs without falling on your ass wasn¡¯t trivial. Bernie left us behind as she leapt from wall to wall down the spiraling staircase. Rachel jumped over a dog. I stopped to let it pass. ¡°You¡¯re falling behind!¡± Caleb reminded me. ¡°Charlie formation!¡± I yelled. I jumped. Braelyn turned the last flight of stairs into ice. Instead of landing solidly on my feet, and sliding the rest of the way, my feet kept going forward and I fell on my ass. Kept sliding though. Soon as I hit the ground floor, I stood and kept running. ¡°Close,¡± Bernie said, after leaping from a wall and landing, running beside me across the lawn. The next bit was practically leisurely, as we circled the inner courtyard. ¡°Hey, Princess,¡± Rachel said as she slowed to run alongside Braelyn. ¡°Good morning,¡± she replied, with a practically businesslike tone. ¡°Those new robes?¡± Rachel asked. ¡°No, they are not.¡± ¡°Well, they compliment your figure well,¡± Rachel said. ¡°I should hope so,¡± Braelyn replied, the ghost of a smile turning her lips, ¡°the tailoring on steelsilk is murder.¡± I powered ahead to get a better listen to the conversation. ¡°What am I missing?¡± I asked. Rachel rolled her eyes, and ran ahead. Braelyn and I ran next to each other for a bit. ¡°She drinking less, you think?¡± I asked, referring of course to Rachel. ¡°I hope so,¡± Braelyn said. ¡°She knows how the king dislikes sloppiness.¡± And by that, she meant she didn¡¯t like it. They¡¯d apparently had some kind of argument about it last week. When I asked Rachel what had happened, she just said she had ¡®behaved unbecoming,¡¯ and refused to say more. ¡°Why does she call you ¡®Princess¡¯ all the time,¡± I asked. The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement. ¡°My sister is the queen,¡± she answered. ¡°Really?¡± I said. I hadn¡¯t quite gotten the politics of the castle down yet. ¡°I am technically royalty,¡± she replied. ¡°But I have renounced my participation at court outside my duties to the king.¡± ¡°What does that mean?¡± She just raised her eyebrows as if the rest were obvious, and began to slow, increasing the distance between us. Soon came the part I dreaded. The other side of the courtyard, and the stairs up. ¡°Can we stop first?¡± I called ahead to Caleb. ¡°Not unless you want me to announce your run time to the official chronicler!¡± ¡°Why?¡± I gasped. Braelyn was, of course, the official chronicler. ¡°We¡¯re almost to breakfast!¡± he called back. Soon after, I¡¯d plopped down in a seat, alongside the rest. The queen was here too, looking beautiful and radiant as ever, blonde hair shining in the sun from the long windows. She looked remarkably like Braelyn, but more angular in features, more elegant. Caleb¡¯s daughter, Mia, Caleb¡¯s newly born granddaughter, Ava, and his son in law Uchechi, were here too, along with a wet nurse named Gillian. They were fine. Mia had her father¡¯s complexion, her mother¡¯s good looks, and an even, quiet temperament that garnered respect. Uchechi was a sometimes brash, mountain of a man with an easy smile, dark skin, and an eyepatch that reminded all who saw it, that he had been a man of violence. Apparently, he captained the ship that tried to ransom Mia to Caleb. The king took his eye in a duel, then he made him go privateer. How the romance with Mia happened was a story I¡¯d yet to ask. The newly born Ava was mostly a blob that slept, or screamed in equal measure. Caleb was obsessed with her. Doting on her being the only thing he seemed to love as much as working out. The staff served breakfast, and we tucked in. Caleb had brought American food to the castle, and the food was American style biscuits, gravy, sausage, pancakes, beef strips that tasted very much like bacon. It was a bit of home that melted my heart. Caleb knew the value of good food. Now, if only this place had coffee. A man poured some black tea for me, which I was grateful for, but it wasn¡¯t the same. If you had all of this, why would you want to leave? I wondered if maybe some of his failure to defeat the Evil Queen relied as much on his interest in staying here. Then I set that idea aside. Later, I pulled out my slate to check my stats.
Beznik of the Red Hand the level 3 Mageknight and level 4 War Bard Hit Points 54, Armor Class 19 (Halfplate +2, shield) STR 12 (+1) DEX 10 (+0) CON 14 (+2) INT 13 (+1) WIS 10 (+0) CHA 16 (+3) Items: Adventurers¡¯ Kit, Mythril Half Plate +2, Crossbow Abilities from Fighter: Adrenaline Rush (170% time dilation, double movement speed) and Second Chance (Twice per day heal +25% HP), Sympathetic Weapon (you may place a weapon you have sympathy with in a dimensional pocket space and remove it at will). Spellcasting. Abilities from Bard: Dazzling Strikes (weapons attacks give off sparks, potentially distracting opponents). Inspiring Words (+60% movement speed, 10% instant healing, and +30% extra damage modifier to a party member of your choice). Student of War (extra weapon damage equal to CHA bonus). Spellcasting. Skills: History, Performance, Persuasion, Social Drinking
I had yet to select a weapon to use my ¡®sympathy¡¯ ability on. Caleb promised to let me look at the royal armory when I was ready. Apparently most of the good stuff he had given to his sons. But I had to imagine he had something better than my plain and dull not-magic sword or my crossbow. Again, I felt the loss of the crossbow Captain Wen had destroyed. After breakfast, Caleb and I sparred with wooden training swords in full armor. I had a leather cap I wore at such times. He wore his full helm. It was sort of like how I imagined sparring with Bruce Lee. He was a genius with a blade, but even holding back, his ¡®teaching¡¯ was like getting kicked by a mule. The man was strong. Maybe even stronger than Rachel. Speaking of, Rachel practiced wrestling techniques with Lieutenant Gru¡¯ulna. He was an orc man with the largest set of shoulders I¡¯d ever seen. Even with the belt, she was quite outmatched. Bernie spent time with Caleb¡¯s spymaster, who I¡¯d yet to meet. Apparently they taught social manipulation and history. She was still convinced that there were spies in the castle. ¡®By my estimate it must be at least six,¡¯ she¡¯d said. Caleb called her paranoid, but not to her face. There had been no more murders or poisonings after that last spy¡¯d been found, but I supposed that they could be biding their time. After training, Caleb asked to take me on a walk around the city. When I asked if that was dangerous he just said, ¡°I am not afraid to walk my city.¡± Braelyn stayed behind in the castle to tend to some business, and outside the armored escort that followed several paces back it was just the two of us. We walked through the market, which sold the dregs of the week¡¯s produce and goods. The smell of citrus and spices lingered. ¡°I want to talk to you about Bernadette,¡± he said. ¡°We¡¯re not ready for condoms yet,¡± I replied. He laughed. ¡°No I mean, she¡¯s spinning out of control. I am worried for her.¡± ¡°Really?¡± ¡°Really. She hasn¡¯t taken to the idleness of safety well. The second she doesn¡¯t have something to focus on, some task, she¡¯s going to get herself in trouble.¡± ¡°Aren¡¯t we training for the catacombs fight?¡± ¡°We are,¡± he said with hesitation. ¡°But once that is done, we will have some time before the army is ready to march on our enemies.¡± ¡°And we still have to get Mark,¡± I added. ¡°Sure. You two have been holding onto each other like driftwood in a storm, but you never stopped to tell her how you feel.¡± ¡°Right.¡± ¡°Do you even know how you feel?¡± ¡°I think I like her. I like her a lot.¡± ¡°Have you taken her on a date?¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°Have you put any effort in at all to let her know?¡± ¡°I mean, I kissed her.¡± ¡°Plenty of men kiss women they don¡¯t much care for. I don¡¯t think that is enough to make your intentions known.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t have intentions.¡± ¡°Perhaps you should discover some,¡± he said, not too sternly. I had the creeping feeling like maybe I was being lectured by a dad. ¡°I don¡¯t think that one date is going to fix all her issues. I think maybe going home is what she needs. But it couldn¡¯t hurt. Sometimes we need to be reminded that there are those that care for us.¡± We walked for some time and I thought about what he¡¯d said. We passed some street performers in the middle of a play. It was a dramatic love confession scene. The hero was about to be put under some kind of awful spell by a black clad villain, and he was being marched to his doom. To her poignant confession he just replied, ¡®I know.¡¯ ¡°Was that?¡± I began to ask. ¡°I consider myself something of a playwright,¡± he cut in. ¡°Though you could say I did more ¡®adaptation¡¯ than writing.¡± ¡°Right, because that was just¡ª¡± ¡°We call it, Strife Among the Stars, here. It is very popular with the small folk.¡± I nodded and we continued on. This wasn¡¯t too far removed from the time I sang Elvis songs to a gnome. We eventually made it back to the castle. I said goodbye to Caleb and returned to my room for an early afternoon nap. On my bed were two notes. The first was from Dalara, and sealed with a seal of a lion. It read thus: Dear Sir Breznik, I cannot in good faith respond to your generous offer of the purchase of my ancestral sword for several reasons. The first of which is that it is being used by myself in defense of my person from the scourge of goblins. As you may have heard, the Kingswood does not fare well. My tavern did not survive these recent troubles. Luckily for me, my sister, and my paramour, we have found ourselves in the employ of a band of mercenaries who march under the banner of the Black Lion. It¡¯s awful work, but the pay is good, and the opportunity for vengeance is promising. Many of those who were displaced who did not run to the embrace of the King, have done so as well. I am told that my compatriot, a fetching young gnome with a skill for poisons by the name of Berryhop, was delighted to hear you are well. I can¡¯t say that I dislike receiving mail, but hopefully next time you have better tidings and news than your interest in my family¡¯s heirlooms. I should think that the gnome at least would especially like to hear how you are doing, and I¡¯d hate to disappoint her. Write back with news of your travels, and maybe we can share our adventures as well. With some hesitation, Dalara Well, that sucked. I hated that Dalara and Berryhop could be in harm¡¯s way. And the fact that they¡¯d joined the bandits we¡¯d fought wasn¡¯t something¡­ well. That was concerning. I didn¡¯t regret the path our actions had taken. A destabilized Kingswood meant that they didn¡¯t invade Caleb¡¯s kingdom. But I don¡¯t think any of that was much comfort to Dalara, who¡¯d lost her business. I hated moral ambiguity. Fighting a dragon came with less moral baggage. The second envelope contained an amulet on a leather cord, and a tiny folded piece of paper. There was no seal on the envelope or note of who it came from. Once I read the letter it was clear why. Dearest Zachary, I hope your time with Caleb has been fun. Hopefully he isn¡¯t working you too hard. I often think of our brief moment by the lake, and I wonder what could have been had I had the courage to go with you. At times, I am filled with worry for your safety. And I cannot help you from so far away. To remedy some of my concern, I have had one of my agents deliver a trinket to you. By itself it does nothing, but should you be in serious danger, break it, and you will be delivered an item that you may find useful. Again, I do not trust to message you with the slates. But if that is the only way you can think to contact me, please do so. Many fond regards, Sofia So this was bad news. The fact that the throne could get me a letter like this meant that Bernie was right. There were still spies in the castle. Now, a more clever man than I, would have immediately gone to Caleb or Braelyn to get them to identify what this trinket was, and what it did. It could have been cursed. It could have contained some kind of demon. I had no idea what this thing did. So the fact that I snapped it in half immediately, was very very stupid. The amulet disintegrated into black dust that swirled out of my fingers. I cursed and vainly tried to catch hold of the black mist that swirled and grew, and eventually deposited an object on the bed, then dissipated. The object on the bed was a black sword with rubies set in the hilt. Chapter 22 — I Get a New Sword I uttered a string of curse words, and paced around the room trying to figure out what to do next. This sword couldn¡¯t be the Edge of Nothing. That¡¯s crazy. It¡¯s too valuable. She¡¯d give it to somebody important, like Captain Wen. I looked at it. Its black coloring seemed to drink in the light from the window. The rubies refracted light in a way that darn near stunned me. I touched it. It felt cold, like lamp-post in January cold. Well, I had to know either way. I grabbed its hilt. A thrill of power shivered up my arm. That was bad. I fished out my slate and looked at my inventory. It said¡ª
¡®Edge of Nothing +5 Improved spellcasting focus. This sword is forged from hammered¡ª¡¯
I dropped it on the bed. What was I going to do? I couldn¡¯t go into combat with this thing. This was a clear sign of Sofia¡¯s favor, and a clear weapon of the enemy. As powerful as it was, what would I be saying to Bernadette, to Rachel, to wield this thing in front of them? Would I be jeopardizing my relationship with Caleb? No, I couldn''t use this. I couldn¡¯t even look at it any longer. The more I learned about it the more I could be seduced into using it. I tossed a pillow over it. The hilt stuck out from ¡ª I tossed a second pillow. Then a blanket. There came a knock at the door. I cursed. My feet scrambled to put me between whoever it was and this cursed thing. I opened the door just a crack. Braelyn stood outside, an eyebrow cocked in curiosity. ¡°I was just working out,¡± I said. ¡°Right. Of course. I am to escort you to the royal armory,¡± she said. ¡°Right now?¡± I asked. ¡°You think you can refuse the king?¡± ¡°No. But I need to take care of something real quick.¡± ¡°As long as it¡¯s quick. I will take care of another task and be back to retrieve you. Can you be ready in ten minutes?¡± ¡°Won¡¯t even need that long,¡± I said. She screwed her face up to show her displeasure, then turned on a heel and left. Great. Now she thought I was more of a weirdo than I already was. What do I do with this damn thing? Do I toss it into a moat? And what? Give a random peasant an evil sword? Should I bury it? What if I was given the choice to use that evil sword or someone I cared about got hurt? What if I really needed it? I¡¯d be an idiot to bury it. So what do I do? Leave it here? Then I realized that I had the perfect solution. My weapon sympathy ability. I could stuff it in a pocket dimension and pull it out any time I needed. And if I never needed it, nobody would ever know I had it. I spent the next five minutes reading and re-reading the full ability tool-tip for weapon sympathy. I had to get this right. I then spent the next ten minutes getting the magic ritual down. I had to touch the runes as they glowed at the right moment and in the right order, then touch the sword, then, just, a bunch of other really boring stuff. My Mageknight class was an intelligence caster. My 13 intelligence meant I was allowed to take it, but that didn¡¯t mean I was great at it. The sword winked away and I was finally rid of it. In the passphrase box on my slate I typed in the phrase ¡°forgive me for what I must do.¡± Look, I get it¡¯s a little melodramatic, but it¡¯s also not something I¡¯d ever say out loud accidentally. There came a knock on the door. Cool. Great. I walked over, and opened it. Braelyn was there again, with Bernie and Rachel. I smiled at them and entered the hall. The elven woman walked fast, and Rachel and I struggled to keep up without jogging. Bernadette jogged. ¡°Hey,¡± I said, slowing to walk next to Bernie. ¡°How is it going?¡± ¡°Fine,¡± she said. ¡°So, you want to go out sometime?¡± I asked. Bernie stopped in her tracks. Rachel did too. Braelyn typed in her slate. ¡°Do I want to go out?¡± she asked, eyebrows raised as high as they could go. ¡°Go out where? When?¡± ¡°Uh. Probably somewhere in the city? Tomorrow?¡± I feel like I had messed up somewhere, and wasn¡¯t sure how. ¡°The grand opening of the King¡¯s Opera House is in three days, there is absolutely going to be an assassination attempt, and I don¡¯t even know on whom. I barely have time to eat. I can¡¯t just ¡®go out with you.¡¯¡± ¡°Oh.¡± ¡°There¡¯s a nice place probably fifteen minutes from the castle,¡± Rachel offered. ¡°I could procure the king¡¯s carriage to and from it,¡± Braelyn offered. ¡°Shave that down to five minutes. Frinella¡¯s Tavern?¡± she directed to Rachel. ¡°Yeah!¡± Rachel answered. ¡°That¡¯s the place! Wonderful seafood.¡± ¡°Oh it¡¯s delightful,¡± Braelyn agreed. Bernie just looked from me to Rachel, then back again. ¡°Oh, so I¡¯m crazy for trying to make sure we aren¡¯t all stabbed in our sleep.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not saying that,¡± I offered. ¡°And you don¡¯t have to.¡± I started walking again. This was a bad idea. I¡¯d messed everything up. ¡°No,¡± She grabbed my hand. ¡°Just wait. Maybe I can make this work.¡± I gave her what I hoped was a winning smile. ¡°Ugh. What is that face?¡± She asked. ¡°Anticipation?¡± A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation. ¡°You really want to go out with me? Now? Why?¡± ¡°Uh. I mean. Why not?¡± I looked to Rachel. She shook her head in disappointment. Braelyn had her head in the palm of her hand, rubbing the space between her eyes. I hadn¡¯t thought this through. ¡°I¡¯ll think about it,¡± she said, and walked off. I sped after her. ¡°Hey. I know I¡¯m impulsive, and I don¡¯t always do the right thing. And I can be an idiot. But I really like you.¡± ¡°Yeah, I said I¡¯d think about it.¡± Rachel gave me the ¡®cut it out¡¯ motion by chopping across her throat. I felt like maybe I could salvage this. I took her hand. ¡°I¡¯m useless at these kinds of things. But I want to do right by you. And I think you could maybe enjoy it.¡± Bernadette¡¯s brown eyes searched mine. Somehow she looked better than ever. Having good food, and a place to sleep had done wonders for our health. ¡°I think that a date would be nice,¡± she said. ¡°But I really am trying to keep us all alive.¡± ¡°What if I helped you find the spy?¡± ¡°You help me find the spy, and I¡¯m yours. For a date. I¡¯ll go on a date with you.¡± ¡°Great!¡± I said. ¡°Let¡¯s go get a new sword.¡± We walked down the hall. The first checkpoint was at the stairs up. These guards seemed freshly rotated, and took their job seriously. Braelyn showed them an official written order to visit the armory, and we were on our way. More stairs. I hated stairs. Why did they have to put the armory at the top of a tower? The second checkpoint was a set of guards that sat at a simple wooden table playing cards. Cal was there too, playing cards, but as he wasn¡¯t one of the Prophesied Heroes, he must have just been here to be nosey. They all stood at attention as soon as we arrived. Seeing that simple table I was struck at how a lot of the furnishings at the castle seemed fairly new, and simple. Good craftsmanship of course, but free of the kind of fancy gold or silver embellishments I would expect of someone with vast wealth. I figured maybe that was just how Caleb was. Had he sold off the previous king¡¯s furniture, and had cheaper ones made? Speaking of, the tapestries on the wall were only of Caleb, his deeds and his family. I put this information in my head away for now. After Braelyn showed the letter with the official seal of the king, the guards raised a large steel and wood grate from the door with a massive iron key. Then they opened the sturdy oak door behind it with a small brass key. Inside was a large semi-hemispherical room with thin arrow slits allowing light, and dark shapes all about. Braelyn waved her arm and the chandelier lit and light flooded the room, shining off weapons and armor. Revealed were also many empty armor racks and pedestals. Several of the weapons here were clearly sized for giants. There were also chests along the back wall that had who knew what. My pulse quickened. I felt somewhat like I felt when walking into a toy store at the mall, back when I was young enough to be excited about such things. My mom was always pretty strict about our spending, but when I was with my dad I always left with something. Bernie and I both found ourselves in front of a short cavalry saber with blue jewels embedded in the hilt in the shape of a snowflake, that hung on a wooden plaque reading ¡®icetooth.¡¯ I smiled at her. She couldn¡¯t reach it, so I got it down and handed it to her. She pulled out her slate to check the stats and I moved on. The next weapon I found was a shortbow called ¡®provoker.¡¯ It had the head of a goose engraved on the top and bottom of the limbs. I fished out my slate.
Provoker +2. This shortbow was made for the daughter of the Elven King, and is deceptively strong, hitting for twice its draw weight. Additionally, arrows fired from this bow chase previously struck targets. Even around corners.
Yeah, this seemed made for me, and my 10 dexterity. If I read it right, I¡¯d only need to hit once and subsequent arrows would keep hitting them. What a nasty weapon. I think I was in love. Wait, ¡®daughter of the Elven King,¡¯ was this the queen¡¯s bow? I put it back. ¡°Braelyn?¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°How many weapons are we allowed to take?¡± ¡°You are allowed two items. They may be weapons, armor, or anything else as long as it is two.¡± ¡°Thanks.¡± I needed a sword too, so I wasn¡¯t tempted to use the one I just got. Luckily, Rachel approached me with a sword in her hands. ¡°Check this out,¡± she said, offering her slate. I took this opportunity to scope out her stats first.
Oriana the level 9 Starbound Barbarian. HP 92, AC 17 (unarmored) STR 19 (+4)* DEX 16 (+3) CON 18 (+4) INT 10 (+0) WIS 12 (+1) CHA 9 (-1) Items: Belt of Ogre Strength (sets strength at 19)*, Gloves of the Pugilist (double damage from unarmed strikes and improvised weapons), Necklace of Second Chance (grants Fighter¡¯s second chance feature) Abilities: Rage (twice per day, halves all damage received, increases own damage by 25%, grants a 50% boost to athletics skills), unarmored defense (grants a boost to defense equal to constitution and dexterity bonus, and increases movement speed by 50%), Against Destiny (rage uses per day may reset when attempting to thwart fate, uses of rage gained in this way are doubled in potency). Shimmering Movement (instantly appear anywhere within 120ft of you, once per use of rage). Skills: Athletics, Insight, Sleight of Hand, Social Drinking
Shimmering movement seemed scary. Teleporting barbarians sounded like a nightmare to have to fight. Good thing she was on our side. The tooltip on the sword said:
Fascinator +2: this weapon was made for a bard that wasn¡¯t quite as charming as he¡¯d like to be. Improves spellcasting. Provides a free casting of the spells command and charm. When not in use, it can be shrunk to the size of a broach.
¡°It¡¯s decent,¡± I said. ¡°But despite the boost to my spellcasting score, I don¡¯t really need the spells. Bernie has charm and I have command. I was hoping to find something that improved my healing.¡± Rachel frowned and took her slate back. Braelyn piped up. ¡°This may be more to your liking,¡± she said, directing me to a sword with a hilt shaped like angel wings. This one wasn¡¯t hanging on the wall. It was in the outstretched arm of a statue ¡ª a very naked statue of Caleb. I was hoping for a fig leaf, but there was no such censorship to be found. At the look on my face, Braelyn said, ¡°yes, that seems to be most people¡¯s reception to this statue. The queen had it made as an anniversary gift. The king thought it best he kept it here.¡± ¡°How did they know what¡ª¡± I couldn¡¯t stop myself from asking. ¡°The queen made extensive life-drawing sketches for the sculptor¡¯s benefit.¡± ¡°That answers that question,¡± I said. My mind was struck of things to say for the moment. Rachel piped up. ¡°That¡¯s kind of erotic,¡± she said. ¡°There must be real passion in the relationship. I figured it was a political thing.¡± Braelyn¡¯s lips quirked into a smile. ¡°One doesn¡¯t start a war with one¡¯s own father for ¡®politics.¡¯ My sister, for all her faults, loves Caleb like no other.¡± ¡°That¡¯s nice,¡± I said. ¡°Well,¡± Braelyn replied. ¡°I sometimes wish things had gone differently.¡± ¡°Caleb cool with you talking like that?¡± ¡°He couldn¡¯t stop me,¡± she said with a smile. ¡°And he often prefers I speak my mind anyway.¡± She twirled a finger, and a spectral hand fetched the winged sword. It floated to me, and I took it. The handle was wrapped in bronze wire, and felt solid in my hand. The pommel was marble threaded with gold. The crossguard was of the same material, but shaped to be like wings. A single pink ruby was set on either side of the crossguard. The blade itself was a little short, less than three feet, but it shined with a bronze color. Were this thing actually made of marble and bronze it would be far too soft to be an effective weapon, so it must be packed with all kinds of magic. I swiped open my slate.
Redeemer +3. Forged by a hero of ages past to avenge her fallen lover, this sword has seen dragons, and giants succumb to its razor sharp edge. What it lacks in martial might, it makes up for in staggering utility. Can be used as an improved spellcasting focus. Grants a free use of the spells levitate, and bless. Further, while wielding this weapon, each use of a healing spell in the course of a single day is doubled in its potency from the use before it.
¡®Doubled in potency,¡¯ sounded amazing. I wondered if it was cumulative. It had to be, right? And it would boost my spellcasting, make spells like ¡®sleep¡¯ land easier. ¡°Where did he get this?¡± I asked. ¡°A gift from Uchechi on acceptance of his intent to marry Mia.¡± ¡°And I can have it?¡± ¡°Only on the condition that it be returned to the vault once it is not needed.¡± I took Redeemer, of course. It wasn¡¯t as powerful as the one I¡¯d hid, but was probably more useful for my skill set, all things considered. I also took Provoker. Bernie took Fascinator, and shoes that helped her run faster. Rachel found a bag that was larger on the inside ¡ª which was super helpful for the party overall ¡ª and magic bracers that increased her armor class. With our swanky new magic items in tow, we left the armory. Chapter 23 — Long Talks and Long Shadows Caleb greeted us as we exited the armory. Bernie waved to him then jumped out the open window, running along the castle walls with spiderclimb. ¡°Ah, so you found Redeemer!¡± he said. ¡°A fine sword, though the +3 bonus is a little shabby compared to¡ª well, it¡¯s a fine sword. Ah! And a bag of holding. Very interesting.¡± ¡°Thank you for your gifts,¡± I said. Rachel agreed. ¡°I like to give them, though I usually let you pick on your own. Being in the room when people put their hands on my things makes my skin crawl.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± I said, ¡°I didn¡¯t know.¡± Caleb slapped me on the back. ¡°Nonsense! Can¡¯t be the Prophesied Heroes without the firepower to back it up. Is that my wife¡¯s bow?¡± ¡°This one?¡± I said holding up Provoker. ¡°It¡¯s for children,¡± he said. ¡°I mean, I only have a 12 strength.¡± ¡°Ah. Then it¡¯s perfect!¡± Cal stood there waiting. It became obvious he was waiting for something. Why was he here in the first place? My first thought became that this was all a ploy to get close to Caleb, get close to the king. Maybe Cal was part of the spies. Maybe we¡¯d brought him close to the exact person he wanted to be close to. ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± Caleb began, ¡°my personal armory cannot afford to arm all that deserve it. Did you visit the armorer downstairs? He''s considered by many the finest bowmaker on the continent, and we have many finely crafted elven longbows.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want your shit,¡± Cal said. The guards hands went to their swords. Caleb held a hand up. ¡°I am not sure I heard you, son. You want to run that by me again?¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± Cal stammered. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean. Ugh. I¡¯ve gone over this conversation so many times in my head, and this isn¡¯t working the way I want.¡± ¡°Be out with it.¡± ¡°My friends call me Cal, but my mother named me Caleb.¡± ¡°Not so uncommon a name these days,¡± the king said. ¡°Not so common 28 years ago,¡± Cal said. ¡°She named me after my father.¡± King Caleb¡¯s eyes narrowed. Cal shrugged. ¡°You are my father.¡± King Caleb laughed nervously. ¡°It¡¯s true,¡± Cal said. ¡°You make a jest,¡± the King said. ¡°You two,¡± he pointed to the guards. ¡°Lock the armory and leave. There is no danger to me in my own home.¡± The guards did as they were told. Soon, it was just me, Rachel, Braelyn, Caleb, and Cal. Caleb turned to me. ¡°Did you know about this?¡± ¡°I had no idea,¡± I said. ¡°It makes sense, now,¡± Rachel offered. ¡°But I also was in the dark.¡± ¡°You are not the first boy to come to me with stories like this,¡± Caleb said, suddenly very serious, and stepping closer to the Ranger. ¡°But I do not find them funny.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think it very funny either,¡± Cal said. Power and violence coiled in the king. I worried, for a moment, he would lash out at the Ranger. If he did, I wasn¡¯t sure what I¡¯d do. I liked Cal, but he wasn¡¯t a king. And if I had to choose who I trusted more to get us out of here¡­ ¡°Who is your mother?¡± the king asked, cooling. He was suddenly softer, but still regal and businesslike. ¡°Aeliana, of the Afon-Alum. She was a ranger. She said you only stayed a week.¡± Braelyn typed in her slate, furiously. ¡°I remember her,¡± Caleb said, jaw slack with surprise. He rubbed his salt and pepper beard. ¡°She was beautiful.¡± ¡°Aye,¡± Cal said, ¡°was. Goblin attack at the bridge. She fought them off, but succumbed to poison.¡± ¡°I am sorry.¡± ¡°I was just 14 when that happened. And every week I returned, crossed the bridge where she died just to catch a glimpse of you.¡± ¡°The Kingswood is too dangerous for me¡­¡± Suddenly the King¡¯s eyes were far away, to another time. Then, he refocused on Cal. ¡°Sit and talk. I make no promises to believe you. Though I find no flaw in your tale just yet. And you must know that this accusation holds danger for the both of us. Braelyn?¡± ¡°Your majesty.¡± ¡°Get us a bottle of wine, and clear your schedule. I¡¯ll need records of our conversation.¡± ¡°Of course,¡± she said. ¡°I don¡¯t want your wine,¡± Cal said. ¡°Oh it¡¯s not for you,¡± the king said. ¡°If even half of what you say is true, I¡¯ll need a drink.¡± Rachel and I followed Braelyn down the steps. ¡°You think it could be true?¡± Rachel asked her. ¡°You are not to speak of this to anyone, but Bernadette.¡± ¡°Got it,¡± I said. This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. ¡°Sure,¡± Rachel said. ¡°I think it is plausible. The king was a man in his twenties when he arrived here, and elven women are considered very beautiful to other folk. Would he be so careful in his early days as a hero?¡± ¡°Huh,¡± I said. ¡°We will speak of this later, when I can guarantee less ears,¡± Braelyn said. We parted ways at the bottom floor. Rachel filled me in on my goals for the day, which were: get info on who amongst the staff could potentially be blackmailed or bought off. I was to search for anyone that complained of large debts, that maybe didn¡¯t complain much anymore, or anyone that had suddenly found themselves with a sudden windfall. I could also keep an eye out for anyone that had joined the staff recently, but since Caleb had been an enemy of so many for so long, they could have been embedded a very long time ago. Bernadette¡¯s current working theory of the situation was that the Throne of Light wanted to scuttle the recent peace talks between the Kingswood and Caleb. The timing pointed to Throne agents, and the method, poison, excluded the Orcs or Goblins. Caleb¡¯s old enemies hadn¡¯t made a move on him in decades, and considered such methods beneath them. Before we parted ways, I asked Rachel who had been the target of these attacks. ¡°Well,¡± she said, taking a bite of cheese as we walked, ¡°only two people at the castle got got so far. The first was an advisor to the king, Randilion the Bard, drank from a poisoned bottle of wine that killed him before anybody could figure out what kind of poison. The second,¡± here she looked around to see if anyone was watching, ¡°the second was a wife of one of the Princes, Harmony ¡ª human girl, daughter of a local noble, only eighteen. Because of the previous poisoning, they were able to get her an antidote. She¡¯s been in a coma for weeks now.¡± ¡°Shoot.¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± Rachel continued, taking an even bigger bite and talking as she chewed, ¡°it¡¯s a freaking tragedy. Pellas, Caleb¡¯s middle son, is on his way now. It was a love match. Apparently they were the talk of the city.¡± ¡°If they were so loved, why isn¡¯t anyone talking about it?¡± ¡°Hardly anyone knows. They¡¯re even keeping it from her parents.¡± ¡°Shit.¡± ¡°Can¡¯t Caleb just heal it?¡± ¡°He didn¡¯t pick that spell on level up.¡± ¡°Shit¡± I cursed again. Based on what I was told the coma must be from the damage the poison did, and not the poison itself. Healing that kind of damage probably needed fifth level spells, which I was a long way away from. A eighteen year-old shouldn¡¯t have been dragged into all this. Not that assassinations were fair. ¡°Hey,¡± Rachel said, ¡°before we split, you got to promise to start looping me in.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°I mean, no more of this ¡®shooting from the hip¡¯ thing with Bernadette.¡± ¡°Oh. Right.¡± ¡°Run your shit by me before you try something like that again.¡± ¡°It worked out though.¡± Rachel put her hands on her hips, and gave me a pointed look. ¡°Alright, alright, I¡¯ll try not to shoot from the hip.¡± ¡°And you¡¯ll come to me with your plans for the date?¡± ¡°What plans?¡± ¡°Oh my god, you absolute id¡ª¡± ¡°I¡¯m kidding!¡± I said, holding up my hands to shield myself from a playful punch. Rachel put her fist away, and wrapped me in a hug. ¡°Hey, whatever happens this week, I got your back.¡± Not sure where that came from. But I hugged her back, and soon we were waving our goodbyes. I deposited most of my gear in my room, except for my new sword. I gave it a twirl and a swing. It felt good ¡ª really good ¡ª much like the mithril sword I¡¯d used during that fight at the bar. It assured me of my choices in the armory. I made sure to dress well, strapped my sword to my waist, and headed out to the tavern I was told had the most people from the castle. The Chipped Spade wasn¡¯t necessarily the closest tavern to the castle, that would be the Blue Mug, but it was the one where the guards frequented, not the tourists and new hires. I could have gone to the latter, and maybe I would, but I was betting on scoring the best info from the old timers. The sun still hung high when I set out, but had moved right behind the tallest spire of the castle, casting a large skinny shadow that draped the street in chill darkness. Fallen snow from the night before still lingered in the dark places, in corners, and under the eaves. Winter¡¯d arrived in earnest, but the warm ocean kept the worst of it from Swordfall. For now. Tavern owner was a man named Boris, fairly young, who must have inherited it, because it was an old place. He¡¯d slick back, black hair and a severe expression. Mostly lit by the hearthfire at the end of the great hall, and by lamps on the tables, it revealed itself as a big place, with plenty of darkness to get lost in. I could feel the instinct to pull out Edge, and peer through that darkness, and I resisted it, but the feeling lingered like a bug bite on the back of my hand, itchy and ever present. I also had that tingle at the back of my head that told me I was being watched. I ignored it, and slid in at the bar, held up a hand to flag down Boris, and ordered an ale. Next to me, was a castle guardsman with a huge gray mustache. His name was Wallace, and he loved to talk. Took me the better part of an hour to get any useful intel. Apparently, Caleb¡¯s youngest boy ¡ª Fala, 17 ¡ª was raring to explore the continent like his older brothers, and was secretly hoarding adventuring supplies. Nobody had the heart to tell him that all of that would be for nothing without a good horse or an armed escort, and both of which were tightly controlled by the king. Quite a bit of scuttlebutt about Uchechi, but nothing that seemed actionable to me. I think the fact that he was a black man, and a foreigner, brought more scrutiny than it was owed. The man was a newly minted father ¡ª he wasn¡¯t gonna start trouble. I floated around to some other tables and played cards, and lost quite a bit of money too. Not intentionally either, I just couldn¡¯t play cards like these folk. The competition was serious. But the money got people excited, and hopefully looser of tongue. Nobody had anything negative to say about the king. He paid well, and even the gamblers seemed to have a steady enough income that nothing quicked my ear as suspicious. If anyone was hurting for money and vulnerable to blackmail, it wasn¡¯t these folks. None of them had anything bad to say about Caleb. He was well loved by this crowd. Lieutenant Gru¡¯ulna came up several times. He was the first orc to get very high in the king¡¯s employ. Anytime someone wanted to gripe about him, another spoke up to defend them. After some time I was starting to think I would get zero intel from this whole thing, when one of the people playing cards at the table, a halfling woman named Buttercress. Mentioned her work for Princess Mia. ¡°My whole job,¡± she began, ¡°is to make sure she¡¯s taken care of, ever more important now that the baby¡¯s here. But she just wants to shut herself in her room doing gods know what tinkering with alchemy.¡± ¡°Yeah?¡± I prodded. ¡°Oh yes, most of it was under sheets but I spied it right away, a bunch of glassware, and beakers carted in by the carriage full. Saints know what she¡¯s up to, but it means I can¡¯t do a damn thing. How am I going to advance with the castle if I can¡¯t distinguish myself?¡± ¡°Think it¡¯ll really hold you back?¡± I asked. ¡°Ah, nah, she goes through hobbies like most nobles go through dresses. One day it''s wizardly tomes, the next it¡¯s horseback riding. She¡¯ll move on soon. Just wished she¡¯d hurry it up. Spending more time playing cards with you fine folk than my job, haha!¡± I laughed, and filed that away. I had no idea Princess Mia was doing anything besides being a mother. But it made some amount of sense. The rich didn¡¯t really raise their own kids. Satisfied I¡¯d at least found out who wasn¡¯t the spy: I could rule out Uchechi and Grul¡¯ulna. They both owed too much to Caleb¡¯s safety. And probably Mia. The Princess wouldn¡¯t have any motive to poison her own sister in law. Unless it was a mistake? Nah. I stumbled out of the Chipped Spade, and walked down the street. Stars twinkled above, such as could be seen despite the streetlamps, and the wind carried fresh snowflakes. I pulled my jacket closer, and readjusted my sword. A street play was just wrapping up, players taking a bow for the last time, and crew packing the backdrop into boxes one panel at a time. Even in the cold, Strife Among the Stars remained wildly popular, having retained scores of people at the end. That was the other thing the old timers had talked about: everyone was ecstatic about the last installment, Episode IX, which premiered the opening night of the new King¡¯s Opera House. Few could afford tickets, and the lottery for the small folk could only invite so many. Several planned to watch it from the roofs of nearby taverns, hoping to catch snatches of music and lyrics on the wind. Resigned to make the long trek back to the castle in the cold, I was stopped by a streak of light. It bounced off my chest, and I caught it before it fell too far. ¡°Watch where you¡¯re ¡ª¡± the little spot of light started to say, then they interrupted themselves with, ¡°hero guy!¡± ¡°Robin,¡± I acknowledged. ¡°Just the bozo I was looking for!¡± Chapter 24 — I Try My Hand At Detective Work I smuggled Robin in my jacket to the warmth under the nearest street lamp. I held it open just enough that I could see them, but still shielding ¡®em from the wind. ¡°You doing alright in there?¡± I asked. ¡°Been workin¡¯ out, hero boy?¡± ¡°A little. The king keeps us busy.¡± ¡°Well,¡± they said, pushing on my pectoral muscle, ¡°you¡¯ve firmed up a bit.¡± ¡°Thanks?¡± I said. Then remembering to get to the point asked, ¡°what are you up to? And how did you get here?¡± ¡°Fairy wings, son!¡± ¡°Touche. You here to cause trouble?¡± ¡°Nah. Wanted to see Episode IX. Don¡¯t even gotta buy tickets, I¡¯ll just hover around in the air as mood lighting. People love it.¡± ¡°I bet. You talked to Bernie?¡± ¡°Yep. She¡¯s real worried about you. If you break her heart, I¡¯ll have to curse ya.¡± ¡°Really?¡± I started walking towards the castle. Warm fairylight spilled between my fingers as I held them next to me. ¡°Yeah. Be nice to her, and treat her fancy, and I bet you can get in her pants.¡± ¡°Hey!¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t like that kind of talk.¡± ¡°Alright alright. Maybe I was testing you.¡± ¡°Mhmm.¡± ¡°She¡¯s a talented warlock, your girl.¡± ¡°She¡¯s not my girl.¡± ¡°Not yet.¡± Not yet. That had a nice ring to it. But I couldn¡¯t hope too much. Had more important things to do, for one. ¡°You really think I got a shot?¡± I asked, after some time. ¡°I think as long as you treat her like a flesh and blood person, and not as some kind of destined paramore, I think you¡¯d have to really step in it to screw it up.¡± ¡°Good advice.¡± I wasn¡¯t sure that I wouldn¡¯t ¡®step in it.¡¯ But I had to try. Had to find that killer spy first though. ¡°Hey. I ain¡¯t always dick jokes, and smoking bod,¡± the pixie said. ¡°I got wisdom too.¡± I filled Robin in on some of what I learned. ¡°That¡¯s weird,¡± they said. ¡°Yeah? Which part?¡± ¡°The thing with Princess Mia. The girl didn¡¯t mention it when I talked to her.¡± ¡°Huh.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s go check the Princess out.¡± ¡°I want to talk to Bernie first.¡± ¡°Nah. You don¡¯t know anything yet; you just got a hunch. You should follow it.¡± ¡°Well, we are headed to the castle. I¡¯ll see what I can do.¡± Robin flew off before I got to the front gate, saying I didn¡¯t need their help. They weren¡¯t so bad once you got used to them, and the lack of fairylight left me a little colder once it was gone. Castle guards knew who I was, and they waved me in. Princess Mia was on the first floor ¡ª thank god ¡ª the west wing overlooking the harbor. Now. How, I was going to investigate her, or interrogate her I didn¡¯t know. I had a sleep spell. Maybe I could kidnap her? Why?! Oh my god. No nevermind. That is an awful idea. Man, this game could funnel you to awful decisions if you let it. I poured over my spells, trying to find one that could help me, but not get me thrown into the dungeon. At-Will Spells¡ª Little Light Mend Item Tiny Tricks First level spells¡ª Bubble Charm Person Command Curse, Minor Heal Light Wounds Healing Phrase Sleep Second Level Spells¡ª Invisible Shatter ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re supposed to be here?¡± came a woman¡¯s voice. I looked up. She had her arm on a guard¡¯s shoulder, halting him, but looking right at me. I looked behind myself ¡ª empty hall. Yeah, she was talking to me. I put on my most winning smile, and continued walking. ¡°I was just looking for you,¡± I said. And it was true, but I wasn¡¯t sure what I¡¯d say next. ¡°You¡¯re a friend of my father?¡± ¡°Yes,¡± I said. ¡°Let him in, should he need,¡± she said to the guard outside her quarters. ¡°I¡¯m not too busy to entertain my father¡¯s friend.¡± Then she ducked into her room, and disappeared. I waved at the guard at the door who waved back, and sat on their stool. Caleb must have set up guards outside the doors of his kids after the whole assassination thing. The first thing that greeted me as I walked in was the stench. The smell of vinegar hit me first, then some kind of citrus, and under all that sulfur. I was tempted to hold my nose, but I figured that would be rude. Then I saw the metric tonne of chemist equipment that bubbled, and glowed and burned. I must have been visibly reeling, because Princess Mia held a handkerchief out for me. I took it, and placed it over my face. ¡°My nostrils have been obliterated by this stuff, so I don¡¯t need it, but by all means, cover up,¡± she said. This was the first time I¡¯d gotten a proper look at her closer than across the dining table. She was tall, just a couple inches from my height, with a pale blue coat buttoned all the way up to her chin. It didn¡¯t do much to conceal that she still had a little bit of weight on from her pregnancy. But, you know, that wasn¡¯t necessarily a bad thing to my eyes. Despite her buttoned up dress, her beauty remained altogether overwhelming. She¡¯d her hair pulled back in a ponytail that exploded in a fan of curls behind her, small wisps of it held in the front by a pair of goggles. I don''t want to put too fine a point on it, but her hair was magnificent. I asked Caleb about it later, and he said it was 3c, whatever that meant. Her brilliant green eyes constantly darted here and there as she worked, but always back at me with a kind expression, as if she didn¡¯t want me to feel left out. Her skin was brilliant and shining on her face, but her hands peeled from the chemicals. It was striking, and I knew enough mixed kids growing up not to wax poetic about it, so I''ll just say that it was remarkable. She was probably only a couple years younger than me, but her angular features made her look older. ¡°You here for a reason?¡± she asked, scribbling something down in a notebook. ¡°Um,¡± I stammered, ¡°yes! I was asked by Caleb to see if you were okay, or needed anything. Wasn¡¯t sure what he meant at the time, but I¡¯m betting it was all this,¡± I said motioning to the science lab thing she had going on. Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings. ¡°My father hates all this stuff. Wants me back with my kid ¡ª like my husband can¡¯t handle it.¡± Here she closed her book and turned to me. Her eyes gazed at me with playful skepticism. ¡°I''m quite familiar with the ring of an ill-considered lie. Want to try that again? Maybe with a little more truth?¡± ¡°Shit.¡± ¡°Uh huh. What does father like to say? ¡®Momma didn¡¯t raise no fool.¡¯¡± ¡°Yeah, I should have known better.¡± I just stood there for a moment, thinking. Well, maybe I can try the Columbo method, and be truthful about why I¡¯m here, while downplaying my interest in the details? After a second, I realized that despite my decent charisma score, even that could be beyond my skills. Whole truth it is then. ¡°I¡¯m trying to figure out what happened to Harmony.¡± ¡°The Duchess?¡± ¡°Yeah. Real tragedy. Has the whole castle spooked.¡± ¡°Not as much as they should be,¡± she said, going back to her chemistry set, and adjusting a nob. ¡°Someone able to get to my father¡¯s small counsel, or a girl as highly prized as the Duchess, is likely someone high up, not just a servant with a grudge.¡± ¡°How so?¡± ¡°Servants sell each other out,¡± she said, almost bored. ¡°Whoever did that, has privilege to protect them. By the time those that know flip on them, it¡¯ll be too late. Someone actually important will be killed.¡± ¡°Actually important?¡± ¡°Oh, don¡¯t act so surprised. Randy was a drunk, and Harmony was a prized pony. It¡¯s a damn tragedy, but neither are leading armies into battle.¡± ¡°Or concocting potions?¡± I asked. ¡°You¡¯re rude,¡± she said, glancing over her shoulder. ¡°I like that. My husband would like that too. It¡¯s a shame we¡¯re both so busy!¡± Her laugh was haughty and loud, but pleasant to hear. Her attention strayed to a strange object held in a large pair of tongs. It flashed with text. I wasn¡¯t able to make out much of it before she flicked it away. Was that a slate? How did she get a slate? I thought Braelyn had the only one in the kingdom. I tried to imagine what I had seen. Was it the name? ¡®Nerve¡¯ something? Wait! Nerfherder! It must be a reference to Caleb¡¯s plays. Who would she call Nerfherder? Suddenly she was very close to me. ¡°Hold out your hand,¡± she asked. I did. She took it, gave me a beautiful smile, then ran a knife along it. ¡°Shit!¡± ¡°Oh, hush. Drink this,¡± she said, pressing a vial to my hand. It was warm to the touch, and contained a brilliant pink liquid. Welp. I was in too deep to start saying ¡®no¡¯ now. I opened the cork, and tossed it back. It was fruity, with a slight floral after-taste, like hops. Went down smooth, and made me want more. ¡°How¡¯s your hand?¡± she asked. ¡°What?¡± She arched an eyebrow. I tore my gaze from her brilliant green eyes, and looked at my hand. The cut had closed. I wiped my hand on my pants. My palm was unmarred. ¡°Wow. It didn¡¯t even¡ª¡± ¡°No itching?¡± ¡°It didn¡¯t even itch. And the taste¡ª¡± ¡°Pomegranate,¡± she said. ¡°With hops.¡± ¡°I thought I tasted hops!¡± ¡°Mhmm. You liked it?¡± ¡°I haven¡¯t had a lot of healing potions, but that was still probably the best one I¡¯ve ever had.¡± ¡°Thank you,¡± she said. ¡°Just because something is medicine, doesn¡¯t mean it shouldn¡¯t be pleasant to drink.¡± I suddenly felt a little dizzy. ¡°I think I should lie down,¡± I said sitting on the couch. ¡°Oh drat!¡± she said, scribbling in her notebook. ¡°Nausea?¡± ¡°I think so.¡± ¡°How much?¡± ¡°More than I¡¯d like, but not enough that I need a bucket.¡± ¡°Hmm,¡± she said to herself, scribbling faster. ¡°Did you have alcohol?¡± ¡°Yeah. Quite a bit.¡± ¡°Reacts. With. Alcohol.¡± She muttered to herself as she scribbled some more. I decided to lay down on the couch fully, and stared up at the ceiling. ¡°Were you the one to figure out the poison?¡± I asked. ¡°Yes. An alkaloid. Common in the region, so they likely didn¡¯t need to smuggle it in, just distill it somewhere. Makes catching who did this a little more difficult.¡± ¡°Damn,¡± I replied, still staring at the ceiling. Why didn¡¯t Bernadette, or Rachel tell me about this, the potion brewing thing? Mia didn¡¯t seem to be shy about it. Also if whoever poisoned the Duchess just needed to distill the plant, where would they do it? ¡°What would they need to distill it?¡± I asked. ¡°Any old cooking pot, and a hose would do,¡± she said. ¡°As long as you weren¡¯t worried about trace amounts getting in the food.¡± ¡°Did you check the kitchen?¡± ¡°Of course we did.¡± I thought about this for a bit. Princess Mia seemed incredibly competent. If she couldn¡¯t figure out who the bad guys were, what made me think that I could? ¡°What¡¯s that, in the case?¡± she asked. I was feeling a bit better, but I had been drinking a lot, and it was nice to lie down. ¡°Uh, this?¡± I said, debating on if I should lie. ¡°I guess I¡¯ll just show you.¡± She stuck her hand out without looking, waiting. I¡¯d gotten into the habit of taking this thing with me everywhere. Since the others hadn¡¯t taken their character sheets, I wasn¡¯t sure if anything bad could happen if I lost it, but I didn¡¯t want to find out. I carefully pulled the sheet out of the tube, and handed it to her. She looked at it for a bit, then handed it back. ¡°Charisma is good, but your Dexterity is a little low for a backline fighter.¡± ¡°How did you¡ª¡± ¡°Oh my dad lets some things slip every now, and again. I¡¯ve seen his character sheet a couple times.¡± ¡°Huh.¡± ¡°You¡¯re the only one with a physical one. That I know of. Get you an enchanted quill, and the right set of inks ¡ª well ¡ª you could possibly alter it.¡± ¡°Really?¡± ¡°Sure! Or not! You may have the only one like it in the world, though. I¡¯d have to run tests.¡± ¡°I think I¡¯ll hold onto it.¡± ¡°Suit yourself!¡± she replied, looking back at me with a smile, and giving me a wink that distinctly reminded me of her father. I wasn¡¯t making any progress at all here. But it was nice to lay on the couch. ¡°So,¡± Mia said, after working on her own for a bit. ¡°Now that I¡¯ve cut you,¡± she descended into a peel of nasal laughter, then quickly regained her composure, ¡°why the lie earlier?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t trust you.¡± ¡°And now? Do you trust me, Breznik?¡± ¡°I think so.¡± ¡°Good to know. So, what are you waiting for?¡± I could feel that maybe I had been here for too long. I think she was working up to a way to kick me out. ¡°I¡¯m trying to figure out what you¡¯re working on,¡± I said. ¡°Ah,¡± she said, ¡°easy enough. I¡¯m trying to find a cure for Duchess Harmony. Despite finding her a bit of a bore, she didn¡¯t deserve to get hurt. Poor girl was only 18. And Pelas is too soft. This could break him.¡± I figured that was good enough for me. I stood, thanked her for her time, and let myself out. My mind spun with possibilities. If this were a movie, that would sure be the bad guy. Woman who abandoned her kid to cook up potions in her laboratory? Yeah, that¡¯s our poisoner. But maybe she was just rich? Rich people sort of had their own rules. And I kind of liked her? I couldn¡¯t be that bad a judge of character, right? I spied Robin zoom down the hallway chasing some other glowing light. Was it another pixie? I tried to stop them in order to have someone to talk to, but they didn¡¯t seem to notice me. Well. Only other lead I had was the kitchen. I wound my way through the castle, until I arrived just past eleven. It ran at all hours of the day. Nobles couldn¡¯t be bothered to make their own food. There were only two on duty. The first man was an orc, short but wide, with a patchy beard. His large hands picked up a pan automatically, and washed them in a huge basin full of soapy water. The other was a kobold sharpening a set of knives. I put my monocle in. If one was a higher level than I¡¯d expect, then maybe they had something to hide. No such luck. The first read ¡®Orc Dishwasher, LVL 3, 24hp¡¯ and the other read ''Sous Chef, LVL 6, 38hp.¡¯ So, both were fairly high level for castle staff, but by their HP scores, I figured they¡¯d all their experience in cooking skills. I waved to the Kobold. We chatted for a bit, but he mostly responded in one word answers. I couldn¡¯t figure if it was a language thing, or that he didn¡¯t want to talk. I needed to switch things up, so I slid in next to the dishwasher, and began helping him wash pans. He opened up right away. ¡°D¡¯nush, right?¡± I asked. ¡°You got the pronunciation right.¡± ¡°Eh, I got a weird name too,¡± I said. ¡°So I try to put in the effort.¡± ¡°You wanted to know about the new Duchess?¡± ¡°What¡¯s your read on the situation?¡± ¡°She was nice. Treated us, the rest of the staff, courteous like. Some of the other ladies at the castle find us ¡®unpleasant to look at¡¯ whatever the hell that means. The king doesn¡¯t like that talk, but they go right back to it once he¡¯s out of earshot.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure you got questioned about her poisoning?¡± ¡°Yeah. We all did. I don¡¯t think it was one of us. Like I said, she was nice.¡± ¡°Money can change people¡¯s opinion real quick. You think maybe somebody in the kitchens would overlook how nice she was, to fix a debt.¡± He just gave me a pointed look, then said, ¡°King pays us well. Folk that can¡¯t handle their money, get transferred out the castle. Specifically, so something like that can¡¯t happen.¡± ¡°Huh.¡± I was running out of questions, and I¡¯d already opened with small talk about the opera house premiere. So I pivoted. ¡°What do you think of the Princess?¡± ¡°Princess Mia?¡± He thought for a second, pausing with a pan half out of the water. ¡°Don¡¯t spend much time out of her room, or with her kid.¡± ¡°Is that strange?¡± ¡°Not so strange,¡± he said, scrubbing the pot. ¡°Newborns do a lot of sleeping, mostly. Though I¡¯d expect she¡¯ll send someone asking for pastries right about now. Eats nothing but fish and vegetables all day, but then asks for half a dozen pastries at night.¡± The kobold cursed to himself in a language I didn¡¯t recognize and started pulling ingredients out, bowls of sugar, bowls of flower. ¡°We don¡¯t know she¡¯ll want it!¡± he said, calling back to the kobold. He just ignored him, and started making dough. ¡°Anyway,¡± D¡¯nush said, ¡°sorry I don¡¯t got more.¡± ¡°Ah, it¡¯s fine. Wait. One more question.¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°What¡¯s the juiciest piece of gossip you got? Anything. Maybe it¡¯ll spawn a lead.¡± ¡°Well,¡± he said, looking around before talking at a low rumble. ¡°You ain¡¯t heard it from me, but rumor has it that some ranger showed up claiming to be the King¡¯s bastard.¡± ¡°No way?¡± ¡°By the name of the First. Got it from a good source.¡± ¡°Anything else?¡± ¡°Oh, that the elves aren¡¯t as interested in peace as they say. That they¡¯re here for some other reason.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll believe that,¡± I said. Just then, rounding the corner into the kitchen were two men. One was a knight in elven chainmail, the other was a man in a full suit of plate armor, embellished with enameled flowers. ¡°Why, hello,¡± the man in plate armor said. ¡°I heard that you fine folk make delightful pastries.¡± My monocle caught him right away: Aquilan -- Knight of Flowers. With only one skull and crossbones after it. Good thing to see I was getting stronger. Now what was he doing all the way up here? Chapter 25 — I Find a Use For My New Sword ¡°Do I know you?¡± Aquilan asked, looking right at me. Just kept telling myself ¡ª keep cool, Zach, keep cool. ¡°I think we met at Brindletree,¡± I said. His eyes raked across me. Then a look of quiet recognition crossed his face. ¡°A tavern. We shared wine.¡± ¡°Yeah! The Squirrel.¡± ¡°Sure,¡± he said, then turned to his subordinate. They talked with the Kobold about whether he had any pastries ready, and what they could have instead, and on and on. I pulled out my slate and checked my spells. Aquilan was immune to sleep because he was an elf. Charm only had a 22% chance to work on him. 11% if he was hostile. Plus or minus some, if I cursed him first. I also had Edge of Nothing if I really got in a tough spot, but I had no Idea how the sword worked. I¡¯d been too scared to pull it out, and really figure out what it could do. ¡°What was your name again?¡± he asked me. I put my slate away. ¡°Breznik. Aquilan, was it?¡± I asked. ¡°Yes. It is,¡± he said. ¡°My compatriots and I were headed to the parlor to watch an impromptu rendition of Strife Among the Stars, Episode VIII. Would you like to come with us?¡± That was weird. Why was he being so nice to me? Was he trying to pump me for information? Why would they send him to the castle in the first place? He didn¡¯t seem like a diplomat. ¡°Say,¡± he started conversationally, ¡°Swordfall is quite a ways from the Kingswood. My compatriots and I traveled through the rootway, old elven forest magic. How did you get here so fast?¡± ¡°Took a portal,¡± I said. ¡°Oh really? Well, my curiosity is sated. How do you like this human play? My men can¡¯t stop talking about it.¡± I wasn¡¯t caught up on Strife Among the Stars. I¡¯d gotten the folios from the library, and worked my way through Episode V. Caleb had decided to do his version of the story chronologically, instead of release order, so by the time I got to Episode IV the story had drifted so much that hardly any of it resembled its source material. Luke was black, for one. For two, wise old warrior hermit Benni was a woman, and kind of a lecherous drunk. The setting was more steampunk, also. The most striking thing to me was that there was a real undercurrent of the horror of war, and how it twisted people into unrecognizable shapes, that the original didn¡¯t have, while still retaining a lot of the fun. I kind of loved it! Who knew Caleb had the soul of a poet? ¡°I think it¡¯s brilliant!¡± I finally said. ¡°The way it mixes classic heroism and adventure with more complex themes ¡ª like the price of violence, and how hegemonic structures destroy our connection to each other ¡ª it¡¯s fascinating!¡± ¡°Right,¡± he said. ¡°Well I haven¡¯t seen it. I heard the sword fights were quite good.¡± I walked next to Aquilan. His subordinate was only level 4, interestingly enough. ¡°So,¡± he continued. ¡°What do you know of the Promised Heroes?¡± ¡°Um,¡± I started to say, wracking my brain for the best way to answer without giving too much, ¡°well King Caleb is one. I don¡¯t know much about it, really.¡± This was only somewhat of a lie. I knew that the prophecy was around before Caleb got here, but after he started really taking off as a public figure the mystique around it grew. I wasn''t 100% sure how I, or any of the others, tied into it yet, but I didn¡¯t think it was a big deal. ¡°Oh, it¡¯s a fascinating bit of folklore,¡± the elf continued, ¡°some say it was delivered by the Warden himself to the humans. Others say that it is nothing but a rumor started by an old hero, a Sorceress, to scare her opponents into submission. Regardless, the small folk seem quite taken with it.¡± ¡°Okay!¡± I said. ¡°Ah! We¡¯re here,¡± Aquilan said. He presented his hand toward the door in the wall. His subordinate opened the door, revealing a quaint parlor containing several chairs and couches. There also stood three more elven warriors in chainmail. I saw nobody dressed in costume, or people dressed for a play. Just those three soldiers. I looked to Aquilan, who waited for me to cross the threshold. So, this was the most poorly concealed trap I¡¯d ever seen. I wore comfortable clothes and my new sword, little else. So, fighting my way past these guys was a very bad idea. But what else was I going to do? Aquilan and I drew our swords simultaneously. Adrenaline kicked in, and they glowed red. I parried his first lazy thrust ¡ª thank god for Caleb¡¯s training ¡ª and backpedaled as fast as I could. A servant had set a mop against the wall and I scooped it. My enemies glowed pink. Not much time. I dodged around them, just barely staying out of reach of his searching sword tip. My hand hooked the door. I closed it and shoved the mop handle through the door handle and the wall. It should buy me a couple seconds. The glow vanished and time unwound at its normal pace. I cursed and parried his next strikes as best as I could, but it would only take one mistake to be skewered through. He nicked my collarbone, and I felt my neck become wet. The door behind me rattled, as I circled the dangerous knight. The other elf drew his sword. I flailed my hand toward him and cast a spell, ¡°you want to be my friend!¡± Magically charmed, the other elf put his hand on Aquilan¡¯s shoulder and said, ¡°maybe we should think about this?¡± Aquilan pushed him back, then slashed at me. I parried his blow easily. But I didn¡¯t have much time. I had to do something, fast. Should I run? And where? The window was a single, thin pane of glass. I had my back to it. I backpedaled, and threw myself through the glass with everything I had. ¡°No!¡± the elf screamed in frustration. His subordinate gave a pained expression. I waved my hand and shouted, ¡°like a feather!¡± I gently floated upwards, and away from the tower. I had ten minutes of this. But I also had nothing to hold onto. Once the spell ended I would float gently down, but that would put me in the moat. Caleb said he¡¯d put crocodiles in it, but I didn¡¯t know if he was being serious. Aquilan drew his bow. His subordinate begane tying a cord to an arrow. They were gonna spear fish me out of the air. I didn¡¯t like that. I pulled my slate from my pocket and typed a quick text. Breznik: West Wing Help. I shoved my slate in my pocket. The arrow punched right into my ribs up to the fletching. I flailed with Redeemer and severed the cord. The subordinate began tying another arrow. ¡°Sorry!¡± he said, stopping to wave at me, ¡°just doing my job! You seem really great!¡± ¡°Thanks! Can you stop tying arrows?!¡± This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings. ¡°Sure thing!¡± he said. Aquilan struck him on the back of the head, and he returned to his work. The elven knight aimed, and fired the next one. I was ready this time. Redeemer cut the arrow in half. ¡°Zach!¡± came a yell. I looked up. Like some kind of black bird of prey against the moon, Bernadette fell from the tower above, trailing a rope from her hand. It went taunt, and she swung like a pendulum right for me. She collided with me and her arms wrapped tight around my waist. We swung through an open window. She rolled. I slid and smashed into the wall opposite the window. After a moment to regain my breath, I gave myself a quick heal light wounds, and jumped to my feet. ¡°You okay?¡± she asked. ¡°Yes!¡± ¡°What about the arrow?¡± ¡°Fuck!¡± I really didn¡¯t want to pull it out. My breathing was fast, I couldn¡¯t seem to get a handle on it. ¡°Okay,¡± she said, approaching me slowly, ¡°you have healing magic. I¡¯m just gonna pull it out, and you¡¯re going to heal yourself. Turn around.¡± ¡°You see it?¡± I asked. ¡°Yeah it¡¯s sticking out the back,¡± she said from behind me. ¡°Good,¡± I said, ¡°No big deal. Just like the crossbow bolt. Except. Way deeper.¡± ¡°Okay, so I¡¯m going to count to three¡ª¡± ¡°Don¡¯t do the thing where you count to three but really go on one.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not going to¡ª¡± ¡°It¡¯s just, I want to be able to keep standing, and I need time to brace¡ª¡± ¡°I¡¯ll do it on¡ª¡± ¡°Because sometimes you say you¡¯re gonna do one thing¡ª¡± She pulled hard. I felt the arrow tear through me. Pain lanced through my whole body, and my knees buckled. ¡°You okay?¡± she asked, bloody arrow in hand. I hit myself with a second level heal light wounds, then stood. I didn¡¯t black out. I didn¡¯t piss myself. All things considered, I was doing fine. ¡°That hurt.¡± ¡°Yeah, you¡¯re fine.¡± ¡°Huh, we¡¯ve both pulled arrows out of each other.¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°Getting shot sucks.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s move before they find us,¡± she said. We walked briskly through the halls. My wounds itched, a cut on my head and arms from the leap through the window, and the arrow puncture. I wished I had used Mia¡¯s health potion instead of my own magic, but what could you do? I filled Bernie in on what I¡¯d learned. She led me through a secret passage that wound through the undercroft, and the dark places under the castle. We exited in front of the King¡¯s Theater in the East Wing. She took me around it, and backstage. Rows of mirrors made up the makeup bays where performers got ready. Pieces of set on wheels were in place, ready to be moved onto stage. I saw part of the Blue Falcon, Hank Solo¡¯s airship. And¡­ there was the couch. Even in another world there was the couch. Two men rolled around on it together locked in an amorous embrace. ¡°Boys!¡± Bernie yelled in a stage whisper. They didn¡¯t seem to notice us yet. ¡°BOYS!¡± she said louder. They disentangled. ¡°Woah,¡± one said, his shirt unlaced and open to a bare chest, and a single fake elf ear dangling from an ear, ¡°you two okay?¡± ¡°He¡¯s fine,¡± she said, ¡°but we need to hide out from some elves that want to kill us.¡± ¡°Got it,¡± the other said, some kind of eye makeup running down his face. ¡°So we should¡­¡± ¡°Costume closet,¡± Bernie said. ¡°Great idea!¡± the one with the bare chest said. They left. ¡°Who were they?¡± I asked. ¡°Actors.¡± ¡°I mean, yeah, but¡ª¡± ¡°The one that had been crying is Arturo, understudy for Luke,¡± she explained. ¡°The other is Bentoit, who plays Hank.¡± ¡°Wow. Why was he¡ª¡± ¡°Guy who plays Luke recovered, so the understudy isn¡¯t actually taking his place like he thought. Then, his girlfriend just¡ª¡± Bernie stopped in mid sentence. ¡°You were just being polite?¡± ¡°Yeah, I don¡¯t actually care.¡± We sat on the couch. ¡°Sorry,¡± she said. ¡°I just have so much rattling around in my head. I know what everyone is doing and to whom. I have to, if I¡¯m going to figure this out.¡± I took off my shirt, used it to wipe the excess blood, then put on a shirt that was obviously part of someone¡¯s costume. ¡°How does what I learned fit in?¡± I asked, before sitting down next to her. ¡°I don¡¯t know yet. I need time to think.¡± ¡°What about rest? Have you slept at all?¡± ¡°Since when?¡± ¡°Last night?¡± ¡°I got about an hour.¡± I let out a sigh and leaned back, happy to have a moment where I wasn¡¯t running or being shot at. Bernie put her head on my shoulder. We had time to rest, just for a moment. Why had Aquilan tried to interrogate me? What was he doing here? I made an intuitive leap. He must have figured out that we were responsible for the massacre at the elven camp. Makes some amount of sense. Just by the way that fight had gone down ¡ª the fire, killing Taldinar first ¡ª none of that really was goblin MO. That left the Throne, Caleb, or the Black Lions. Black Lions were pushovers. And the throne would have been risking a full war. Unless the Throne had operatives like us. At any rate, could I be sure he was involved in the poisoning plot at all? I couldn¡¯t. Hopefully Bernadette could figure all this out, because I was not good at this kind of thing. ¡°This is nice,¡± she said. ¡°Yeah.¡± The moment stretched on. Then she spoke again. ¡°I¡¯ve leveled up to nine.¡± ¡°I heard.¡± ¡°Want to see?¡± ¡°Sure.¡± She handed me her slate.
Shade the level 6 Assassin Rogue and level 3 Fey Warlock. Hit Points 48, Armor Class 18 (Steelsilk Robes, Bracers of Deflecting) STR 7 (-2) DEX 18 (+4) CON 12 (+1) INT 13 (+1) WIS 10 (+0) CHA 18 (+4) Items: Fascinator +2, Thirsting Thorn +2, Boots of Swiftness, Bracers of Deflecting, Dagger of Tracking +1, steelsilk robes, 8 throwing daggers, 1 combat knife, 1 ration, 1 flint and tinder box, charcoal, 12 sheets loose paper. Abilities from Rogue: Backstab (+150% additional damage against targets from behind or against targets that are otherwise distracted), Improved Assassinate (350% backstab damage against targets that do not identify you as a threat), Beguiling Allure (double proficiency bonus to charisma checks against the opposite sex) Abilities from Warlock: Fey Sight (see farther and through dim light or darkness), Spiderwalk (walk on vertical surfaces and even upside down), Charm (one use of the charm spell per day), Empowered Leap (triple jump distance) Skills: Acrobatics, Deception, Investigate, Seduction, Sleight of Hand, Stealth
Empowered leap was new. Her mobility in a fight was starting to get pretty crazy. In a place like the castle, she was probably deceptively hard to fight. You¡¯d expect narrow hallways to restrict her mobility, but if she could just run up walls, and leap from surface to surface, well, those close spaces didn¡¯t help as much as you¡¯d think. ¡°Nice,¡± I said, handing her slate back. ¡°Are things weird between us?¡± she asked, scooting back on the couch to look at me. ¡°I don¡¯t think so?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not so sure,¡± she continued. ¡°I¡¯m working so hard on this really important thing. I¡¯m trying to make sure we¡¯re safe, that Caleb¡¯s kids are safe. But there is this thing between us that is off, and I can¡¯t stop thinking about it.¡± ¡°Really?¡± ¡°I want us to be cool, to be friends like we were in Bridletree, but things are different. I¡¯m worried that it¡¯s because I kissed you.¡± ¡°Hey,¡± I said, ¡°I kissed you. We kissed. And I¡¯d been wanting to kiss you for a while.¡± ¡°Really?¡± ¡°Is this about the date?¡± ¡°No. Things were off before that.¡± ¡°They were? Whatever. Look, I like you. I like where this is going,¡± I assured her. ¡°I don¡¯t think this is weird.¡± ¡°I haven¡¯t done this before. Or at least, not like this. I¡¯m just 20. I haven¡¯t done hardly anything. I¡¯ve had one boyfriend and a couple party hookups. I don¡¯t know how this is supposed to work! Can you be friends with a guy you¡¯ve kissed?¡± ¡°Wait, you¡¯re 20?¡± ¡°Yeah, my birthday was last week.¡± ¡°Why didn¡¯t you tell me?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t like birthdays.¡± I stood. ¡°What, next you¡¯re gonna tell me you aren¡¯t 4¡¯ 10¡±?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not 4¡¯ 10¡± ¡ª you thought I was ¡ª oh, that was a joke Sofia said at the table. I¡¯m 5 foot.¡± ¡°Really? Is that very different from 4¡¯ 10¡±?¡± ¡°It is when you¡¯re 5 foot.¡± ¡°Wait, did you crawl through my window on your birthday?¡± ¡°Yeah. Like I said, I didn¡¯t want to make a big deal out of my birthday.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know, I get to not like things, sometimes.¡± I took a deep breath. This felt like a huge revelation, but also nothing at all. She was so strange, so prickly. Every time I felt like I was getting close to her, something happened that made me feel like I didn¡¯t know her as well as I did. I exhaled. If I was honest with myself, I had been avoiding her. I was afraid I¡¯d done something wrong by kissing her at the tavern before the skeleton fight. And the less she sought me out, the more I thought I should leave her alone. But she hadn¡¯t told me to leave her alone. She¡¯d crawled through my damn window to kiss me. ¡°Okay,¡± I said. ¡°Okay?¡± ¡°Look, I think things are weird because, like, we¡¯re weird people. And this isn¡¯t a normal situation. We¡¯re hunting an assassin in a castle. And we¡¯re about to go fight a bunch of skeletons and a witch. Shit¡¯s weird. But that¡¯s okay.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± she said, eyes distant as she seemed to process what I¡¯d said. I just watched her for a moment. Her hair was getting longer; she¡¯d parted it to the side instead of spiking it. The thin steelsilk accentuated her curves more than the leather had, and the soft skin of her exposed neck shone in the yellow lamplight. She bit her lip nervously, causing them to glisten. She was always beautiful, but now she was, like, hot. Had she changed, or had I changed? Her brown eyes darted to me. ¡°I¡¯m overthinking this,¡± she said. ¡°Maybe!" I said, snapping back to reality. "Things are intense right now. Part of why I wanted to take you on a date. It¡¯s normal. We could use some normal.¡± I sounded so reasonable. I was usually so bad at talking like this, but man was I nailing it! ¡°Yeah, normal sounds nice,¡± she said, exhaling. ¡°Okay, let¡¯s get Rachel, and loop her in.¡± Chapter 26 — I Learn To Be More Suspicious Rachel brought me some clothes, and the chainmail part of my mythril armor. Her new bag of holding made carrying that stuff pretty easy. I ducked behind the Blue Falcon to get dressed, then walked back out. The chainmail shirt was easy to wear, and shimmered a silvery blue in the lamplight. It was only a little past one in the morning. So we still had some energy. Bernie snagged some tea from a serving tray. Probably an attendant on their way to a noble studying in the library late. Poor guy would have to double back to make more, but we needed to stay sharp. ¡°So,¡± Rachel started to say, once we were all caffeinated, ¡°do we think that the elves are part of the poisoning plot, or are they executing some design of their own?¡± Bernie¡¯s eyes narrowed, her fingers tenting, as she did some thinking, then she said, ¡°I think Aquilan may be out on his own. I talked to the head of the elven delegation. He¡¯s got family in the Northern Kingswood, where the fighting is it¡¯s worst. I don¡¯t think he¡¯d risk losing a treaty that would secure them help.¡± ¡°What about the King?¡± I asked. ¡°We know anything about the Elf King? Does he want peace?¡± Bernie just shrugged. Rachel frowned. ¡°Well,¡± I said. ¡°What about our other clues?¡± ¡°So,¡± Bernie started, ¡°here is what I got: Someone needed to distill the poison, slip it into the wine, then get it into the parlor where Randilion and the King were talking. Three other people were in the room with them at the time, the Queen, and two Actors running a scene. It¡¯s not determined if the poison was applied in the room, or well beforehand.¡± ¡°Actors? What actors?¡± Rachel asked. ¡°Amalia, who plays Princess Leela in the upcoming Episode IX, and Benoit, who plays Hank Solo.¡± ¡°Wait,¡± I butt in, ¡°same guy we just saw?¡± ¡°Yes, I don¡¯t see¡ª¡± ¡°What did they say under interrogation?¡± Rachel asked. ¡°Amalia is about to retire, but has stayed on as a favor to the King,¡± Bernie said. ¡°And Benoit has been a friend of the King for years. They were there to run a Romantic confession scene for Caleb and Queen Cerelia. ¡± ¡°How many years have they been friends?¡± Rachel asked. ¡°He was part of Uchechi¡¯s crew, so for three, four years. He was a cook. And he sings.¡± ¡°Really?¡± I asked. ¡°I don¡¯t think he has magic like you,¡± Bernie said, ¡°he¡¯s just a good singer.¡± An idea was starting to form at the back of my mind. ¡°What about the second poisoning?¡± Rachel asked. ¡°That¡¯s a more difficult one. Princess Harmony was watching a play in the Royal Box with her friends.¡± ¡°Strife?¡± ¡°No, a comedy, Much Ado About a Pumpkin.¡± ¡°Huh.¡± ¡°Wait,¡± Rachel butt in, ¡°what about Cal?¡± ¡°You think he could be involved?¡± I asked. ¡°Try to get back at the father that never loved him?¡± ¡°I think Cal has only ever kept one secret his entire life,¡± Bernadette said, ¡°and not even that well. He calls himself ¡®Cal.¡¯¡± ¡°Right.¡± ¡°Also,¡± she continued, ¡°he wasn¡¯t here for the first poisoning.¡± ¡°But Benoit could have been there for both,¡± I said. ¡°Huh,¡± Bernie said, placing a finger to her lips, ¡°I can¡¯t pin down an alibi for the second poisoning. But he was there for the first, and I know he didn¡¯t have a part in Pumpkin.¡± ¡°What about Princess Mia?¡± I asked. I was sure that I was close to figuring out the key to this puzzle. ¡°She could have been in the Royal Box. But nothing you¡¯ve told me about her makes sense,¡± Bernie said. ¡°Yeah?¡± ¡°Nobody in the castle has said a peep about her hobbies. And the fact that she has a slate?¡± ¡°Did she make it?¡± I asked. ¡°We can¡¯t be sure.¡± My mind went back to that text that had flashed across the screen of her slate. Nerfherder. That was a Strife Among the Stars reference, I¡¯m sure. Hank Solo? What else had the text said? I was sure it was something about ¡®keeping her busy.¡¯ Could it be Bernie? ¡°Who do you think is Nerfherder?¡± I asked. ¡°You think it¡¯s Uchechi?¡± ¡°Hank Solo is an elf. Obviously when Benoit plays him, he has to use ears but¡­ I don¡¯t think she sees her husband as a scruffy hero type. Uchechi is really just a big softy. Even as a pirate, he ruled through fairness and profitability, more than fear.¡± ¡°How well do you know Benoit?¡± I asked. ¡°Pretty well,¡± Bernadette said. ¡°He¡¯s my main contact for the theater scene.¡± ¡°If you wanted to throw someone, a man, off your trail, and you knew he was going to investigate you, would you make yourself more or less interesting to them?¡± ¡°What are you getting at?¡± ¡°Do you think you¡¯re the only person with the ¡®Beguiling Allure'' skill?¡± ¡°Shit,¡± Bernadette said, eyes widening in anger. ¡°I¡¯m thinking back to that slate I saw,¡± I continued, ¡°and I think it said something about ¡®keeping her busy.¡¯ Could Benoit have been feeding you exactly what you wanted to hear, but not what you needed to know?¡± ¡°Well, damn, maybe. I¡¯d want evidence first.¡± ¡°That would mean Princess Mia would be behind all this,¡± Rachel said. ¡°And I don¡¯t get what her motive would be.¡± ¡°Me either,¡± I said. I liked her. I didn¡¯t want her to be a killer, but I also had to admit that everything we had was pointing back to her. There was silence as we all thought on that. ¡°What do we know about Princess Mia?¡± I asked. ¡°Second born of Caleb, eldest daughter,¡± Rachel said, rattling off facts. ¡°21 years old. Brilliant and beautiful, even among the elves, who consider her a half elf. Just delivered Caleb¡¯s first grandkid. Married a foreigner, and pirate. Was trained by her mother in court politics. Exceles in horseback riding, and fencing. Apparently a master alchemist. Has a slate, somehow. Why she could be involved in any of this¡­¡± You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story. ¡°Xander is first in line for the throne, right? Then Mia?¡± I asked. ¡°Human kingdoms are patrilineal,¡± Rachel said, ¡°unlike the elves. If Caleb wanted to change things he could have, but since his first born was a man, he didn¡¯t need to.¡± ¡°So if Xander died, next in line would be Pelas?¡± I asked. ¡°Yes,¡± Rachel said. This didn¡¯t help or hurt our suspicions of Mia. If she wanted to be queen, she¡¯d have to murder both of her brothers, not just her brother¡¯s wife. This wasn¡¯t making any sense. ¡°Of course. I don¡¯t see how that plays into poisoning Randy and Harmony,¡± Bernie said. ¡°What do we know about Randy?¡± I asked. ¡°Another singer,¡± Bernie said. ¡°But more of a court chronicler, and co-writer for Strife. Old friend of Caleb¡¯s. A peace advocate. His death is part of the reason why we don¡¯t have an established treaty with the Kingswood yet. The nobility suspects the elves, and with Randy dead, the war contingent outnumbers the peace side.¡± ¡°Who does that benefit?¡± I asked. ¡°The Evil Queen, for one,¡± Rachel answered. We all thought for a moment. I pulled out my slate and shot off a text. It was a big swing, but I needed to do something.
Breznik: Are you talking to Princess Mia?
I got an answer right away.
Innara: would it mean anything if I was? Innara: did you get my gift?
¡°Who are you texting?¡± Rachel asked. ¡°Sofia,¡± I said. Bernadette crossed her arms.
Breznik: yeah I got it. Thank you. Very generous Breznik: I mean, yeah, I think Caleb would imagine it was a betrayal Innara: you¡¯re talking to me. Would Caleb think you betrayed him? Innara: I would never dictate who you should or shouldn¡¯t talk to. Just remember that
I put my slate away. ¡°What did she say?¡± Rachel asked. Bernadette leaned forward. ¡°Uh, she was frustratingly vague, but didn¡¯t deny talking to the Princess.¡± ¡°So,¡± Bernie said, ¡°that means they either were talking, or she wants us to think they¡¯re talking.¡± ¡°Could be she''s just trying to sow some chaos,¡± Rachel said. ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I countered, ¡°I think the reason she¡¯s so vague is because she doesn¡¯t want to lie. I don¡¯t think she¡¯s lied to us.¡± ¡°Telling the truth in a deceitful way, is the same as lying,¡± Bernie added. ¡°The point is to hide something. So what is she hiding?¡± Silence simmered, along with the soft glow of the lamps. Rachel folded her arms behind her and stretched her back muscles. Bernadette rested her chin on her fist. I thumbed the pommel of my sword, and tried not to tap my foot. ¡°I think it¡¯s Benoit,¡± I said. ¡°At any rate, we need to confront him. If he has a slate on his person or in his room, then that¡¯ll prove he was in contact with someone he shouldn¡¯t be. Also, maybe we can read what he¡¯s said to Mia. Could be she¡¯s the mastermind, or maybe she¡¯s just been duped into helping him.¡± Bernadette gave me a skeptical look. ¡°That¡¯s a good idea,¡± Rachel said. ¡°Where would he hide it?¡± ¡°You know him best,¡± I directed to Bernie, ¡°is he stupid enough to just keep it lying around?¡± ¡°I mean,¡± she replied, ¡°I didn¡¯t think he was clever enough to trick me. So, maybe?¡± ¡°Where does he stay?¡± Rachel asked. ¡°He¡¯s couch surfing right now. So, he could be anywhere,¡± then she added, ¡°we saw him kissing Arturo. Things move fast with the theater crowd, but not that fast. I¡¯d bet on him staying with them.¡± ¡°First ¡ª does he keep his things here?¡± ¡°We keep people¡¯s effects in a chest when they¡¯re in costume.¡± ¡°He was in costume,¡± I mentioned. ¡°Where?¡± Rachel asked. Bernadette showed us to a side room piled with costumes, the place we¡¯d told him to go just hours before. He¡¯d obviously moved on. In the corner was a locked chest. Bernie said the stage manager had the key, then produced a lockpick and opened it handily. Inside were an assortment of knives, makeup, and a satchel containing sundry items such coins, and dried fruit. No slate. I should have noticed that the flask we found here was a powder horn, not for alcohol, but we were moving fast. ¡°Well,¡± I said. ¡°Nothing here. Let¡¯s go find him.¡± I looked at the others, and saw no complaint. We left. ¡°How do we approach this?¡± I asked, as we walked down the hall. ¡°Do we grab guards on the way?¡± ¡°I say we try to do this ourselves,¡± Bernie said. We all agreed. So, I haven¡¯t had the opportunity to talk much about how Caer Vortigern worked. It was much more like a small town than a traditional castle. Traditional castles had a central bailey and as many towers as there were corners in the walls. Caleb¡¯s castle had three massive free standing towers with a dozen rooms each, alongside the one¡¯s you would expect at the corners of the walls. It was Fantasy Castle big. And all of that space was used. Long ago, the storage spaces in lofts, and attics of the towers had been transformed into cozy living spaces. Depending on the seniority of the staff they may have their own rooms. This meant that instead of servants being forced to sleep where they worked, in the kitchens or outside the doors of their masters, that they had space for their own quarters, or shared quarters. One such person was Arturo¡¯s father, who had a room at the top of the Eastern Tower. It was well past two in the morning when we exited the stairs to the Easter Tower Lofts. At the end of the stairs was a hall with four doors. Each door was a distinguished servant¡¯s living quarters, big enough for a small family. Bernadette listened behind first one, then a second one before she gave us the nod. Rachel kicked the door open. The room was quaint, just big enough for three beds, a vanity, and a couple chests. Benoit was at the vanity. Arturo was in bed. Beyond the window, a long pennant fluttered in the wind. Benoit stood, his eyes flicked across us. He then pulled a strange four barreled pistol from his waist, and shot Arturo where he lay. Several things happened all at once. My hands flew to my waist, and I drew my sword. Benoit shot Rachel through the shoulder. Bernie threw a dagger. Benoit turned to the side, and the dagger sailed past him. I¡¯d never seen Bernie miss. The gun reported again, and Rachel fell to a knee. Bernie threw another dagger, and this time he caught it. I lunged with my sword, and he parried it with Bernie¡¯s dagger. I cursed. He turned and leapt out the window, grabbing onto the pennant, and swinging out of view. Bernie ran after him, and I was just able to get out an Inspiring Words, before she vaulted over the side of the balcony, and away. The bullet was a through-and-through at the meat of Rachel¡¯s armpit. I grabbed her shoulder, and gave her a heal light wounds. My eyes flicked over to the bed Arturo lay in. He was not moving. ¡°I think he¡¯s dead,¡± I said. ¡°No shit!¡± ¡°Maybe I can cut him off,¡± I said, referring to Benoit, ¡°at the West Wing.¡± I didn¡¯t know he was going for Princess Mia, but It was my best guess at the moment. ¡°Then go!¡± she responded. She then let out a primal scream, and disappeared into a puff of technocolor stardust. I turned on my heel, and ran into the hall, and down the steps. How had this all gone wrong? What didn¡¯t we know? Arturo must have had vital information. What did Princess Mia know? Was he going after her to silence her, or to plan their next step together? I didn¡¯t have much time, or else I would have texted the DM. This was all too important not to use him as a resource. But to stop, or slow running, even for a second, may let Benoit get to her sooner, and I couldn¡¯t have that. Nearly the whole castle was asleep, so I had empty halls to run through. But so did Benoit. As soon as I made it to the courtyard, I looked up. I saw a man leap from one balcony to the next, and run inside, a tiny dark shape running after him. That was the West Wing. I was right. I used an Adrenaline Rush, and pumped my legs as hard as I could, desperate to get there before him. Once I reached the hallway outside Princess¡¯s Mia room, I noticed something was wrong immediately. The stool outside her room was empty. Why was it empty? Where was her guard? I burst through the door. Princess Mia sat in a chair, a horrified look on her face, and a finger pointed at the window. I put my body between her and the window, immediately. ¡°Where is he?¡± I asked. I didn¡¯t see him. Was I too late? Was he hiding in the room? What had frightened her? A small, strong arm snaked itself across my chest. Before I had much of a chance to react, another hand pressed a handkerchief to my face, just covering my nose and mouth. Because I was breathing so hard, it took a matter of seconds for the chemical to do it¡¯s job. I smelled a sweet stringent smell, and immediately became dizzy. I tried to fight her off, but it was too late, I had no strength. Princess Mia, for that was surely who had attacked me from behind, was not a large woman. I could have fought her off, easily. Had I just thought to be suspicious. Had I just thought not to turn my back to her. At least I now knew for sure that she was one of the conspirators. But that didn¡¯t help me much when I fell unconscious. The last thing I heard as she lowered me to the ground was, ¡°Saints! You¡¯re heavier than you look. I¡¯ll probably need another dose.¡± Chapter 27 — Mushroom Weirdness I¡¯d been having some weird dreams lately, nothing too disturbing. My sleep at the castle had been wonderful despite that. Yeah, yeah, I¡¯ll get to my kidnapping in a second. But this part is important to establish for later. So, I¡¯ve been having these dreams. In them, I¡¯m small. I have long hair. And I¡¯m scrabbling through the underbrush trying to escape someone who is out to get me. Time seems to slip forward, and leap back at a whim. Because then I¡¯m at a table, outside, concocting something in a boiling pot. Familiar faces approach me from time to time. An orc with a slow smile asks for ointment. An elven woman in sensible leathers practices sword forms with a pair of beautiful mythril swords. She has a sister that looks remarkably like her, but with hair shorn short; she brings me herbs in a heaping bag. I miss my family. I wonder about a boy who¡¯d left me for some destiny far greater than my own. They tell me he wasn¡¯t worth it, but I imagine what my life would have been like with him, and not here with the terror and the drudgery. Suddenly, I remember waking for a moment, through the haze, the drugs. Princess Mia was talking to a man, a black man. He held a child swaddled in his arms. The world seemed to pitch and move, and at first, I thought it the drugs, but then I saw the portholes, and I realized that maybe I was below decks of a ship. I was certainly tied to a chair, which was nice I guess because I didn¡¯t think I could stand. The man spoke in a harsh whisper, and said, ¡°you never loop me in. You always just do things! You¡¯re not just a Princess anymore. You¡¯re her mother too, now!¡± Princess Mia snarls. ¡°What do you think I¡¯m doing this for? For her. For you!¡± ¡°We have a good life. I am well embedded in your father¡¯s court¡ª¡± ¡°My father¡¯s court? My father¡¯s court is a farce, a shadow play. There is a world out there, a real world that we¡¯ve been denied.¡± ¡°I know you listened to his stories about horseless carriages, and miracle medicine¡ª¡± ¡°Medicine that I need. It¡¯s done. We can¡¯t go back now. Are your men prepared to defend me, or must I do this alone?¡± A wave of nausea took me then, and I let out an involuntary moan. Princess Mia sighed with annoyance, stomped over to me, and waved an open flask under my nose. Darkness took me once more. I¡¯m small again. My heart is racing as I peer from around a tree. The man and the girl ¡ª she¡¯s small but not a gnome like me ¡ª they walk away from the town I call home, and I can¡¯t help but imagine I made the wrong choice. His tall lanky lanky frame sways as he walks, and by the way he looks at the girl, I know that he could never look that way at me. As soon as they are gone, my feet carry me back to town. I wonder if maybe the dreams I¡¯d been having are because of the dreamtwin mushroom we ate. But I also like these dreams. I hope he doesn¡¯t mind. I grab the halfling man¡¯s hand and lead him to the dance floor. He¡¯s handsome, and for a moment I don''t think of anyone else. I down the rest of of my ale, and lead him upstairs, excited and hopeful for something new. Time leaps forward. Berry sweet, says the elven woman, light them up, won¡¯t you? It¡¯s my first combat, and I¡¯m more nervous than I''ve ever been. But I believe in her, and I believe in the faith she has in me. Secretly, I also want to see what it looks like when goblins burn. I pull the cork from the flask with my teeth, stand from the bushes, and launch the flask with everything I have. The smoke trails behind it. It crashes at their feet, and the smoke plooms around them. I spit the cork on the ground, and my hands transfer the vial from my off-hand to my throwing arm, and I¡¯m launching it before I can think otherwise. The vial hits the ground at the goblins¡¯ feet and ignites the vapor. They scream. The fire burns blue, and so hot that I see flesh melt. Serves them right, for what they¡¯d done. And after all, if you don¡¯t burn them they¡¯ll only be more later. Princess Mia slapped me awake. ¡°Okay,¡± she said, ¡°time to tell me what you know.¡± I had a splitting headache. I tried to get thoughts to form. ¡°Oh, I-uh ¡ª man does my head hurt.¡± She frowned and grabbed a vial of something from a pocket. ¡°Drink this,¡± she said, holding the vial to my lips. I drank. My headache dulled immediately. ¡°Thanks,¡± I said. ¡°Eh, it¡¯s all more art than precise science. Now. What do you and the Promised Heroes know?¡± I don¡¯t think she¡¯d hit me with some kind of truth serum. I also didn¡¯t see any reason to lie about this one. Wait, what if that was how truth serum worked? ¡°Not much,¡± I admitted finally. ¡°We know Benoit was in communication with you, and that he had opportunity to poison the victims. But we can¡¯t pin down a motive. Weren¡¯t even sure that you were in on it. Pretty sure now, what with the drugging and kidnapping.¡± ¡°Hmm. What do you know about the gala?¡± ¡°What gala?¡± ¡°I¡¯m starting to believe you are not so bright.¡± Rude. I mean, maybe I wasn¡¯t as smart as her, but still rude. Thinking about it, maybe she was talking about the opening of the King''s Opera House. Was that a gala? The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation. She stood and walked away from me, muttering to herself. A beautiful yellow cloth of gold dress swished the floor as she did. The corset accentuated her curves rather well. She¡¯d drugged me, the darn so and so. I couldn¡¯t think of any insults at the time that weren¡¯t horribly gendered, so I mostly just fumed silently. Even evil people deserved a little bit of dignity. Wait. Was she evil? It maybe didn¡¯t matter. But in the moment I really cared about why. Why was she doing this? I seemed to remember some of her conversation with Uchechi. But it was all foggy. I figured I¡¯d try the direct approach. Shocking, I know, but I don¡¯t have the same set of tricks that Bernadette has. Being honest, and earnest was all I got. ¡°Are you sick?¡± I asked. She wheeled around on me, face contorted by anger. ¡°Who told you that? Did my father?¡± ¡°No. I woke up for a bit earlier, and I think I heard you were sick.¡± She calmed, closed her eyes and let out a deep breath. Her green eyes searched mine as she continued. ¡°Its nothing to concern yourself with. I¡¯m not contagious.¡± ¡°Is that why you¡¯re doing this? You¡¯ve been pushed to do something drastic because you want, what, want a cure?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not that simple,¡± she said, sighing as she sat on a stool. She fingered the handle of a long rapier she¡¯d set on the table behind her absentmindedly. ¡°Let me turn the question around on you,¡± she continued. ¡°Why are you helping my father? What are you doing all this for?¡± ¡°I¡¯m trying to go home.¡± ¡°That¡¯s it!¡± she said, flourishing her sword. ¡°That¡¯s exactly it! I am trying to go home too. Not the castle, not the play world my father has created here, but my true home out there. Beyond the blue door. Is that so wrong?¡± ¡°You poisoned a teenager. And you¡¯ve tied me to a chair.¡± She snorted, a giggle burbling, and stood, swinging the rapier around idly. ¡°Well, I can¡¯t be sure you won¡¯t do something drastic. It¡¯s for your own good. I¡¯d rather not stab you.¡± ¡°I¡¯d hate to be stabbed,¡± I said matter of factly. She laughed. I had to find a way to get on her good side. No way I was getting out of this on my own. I needed to wait until I was rescued. So, the more information I got out of her the better. She sheathed the rapier and hung it on a nail stuck to a beam, then left. Shit. They¡¯d tied each of my wrists to a chair leg individually, and not behind me, which was both good and bad. Good because it didn¡¯t cut off my circulation. Bad because I couldn¡¯t try the classic ¡®cut the ropes with a piece of glass or metal¡¯ thing. A long time passed. I began to feel sleepy and sluggish. I wasn¡¯t clever enough for this. Then a light zipped in from the porthole ¡ª a very familiar light. ¡°Hey,¡± they said, a little apprehensive. ¡°How you doing, big guy?¡± ¡°Robin!¡± I said in a stage whisper. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± They did a shrug that reminded me of Bernadette. Must be rubbing off on each other. I continued, ¡°Nevermind! Can you get me free?¡± Robin smiled a sad smile. ¡°Not today, kid. Not without a price.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°I mean, I am what I am. I see somebody in trouble, and I can¡¯t just help.¡± ¡°You little shit.¡± The next shrug was less cute. ¡°So what can you offer?¡± they asked. ¡°I don¡¯t know, Robin. I don¡¯t want a level in Warlock. And my hands are literally tied. What is there?¡± ¡°How about a boon?¡± ¡°A boon?¡± ¡°You must promise to do something for me, to be determined later. I promise that the boon won¡¯t hurt anyone you care about, but the boon will be significant.¡± ¡°That all you got?¡± ¡°You have a better offer, hero guy?¡± I thought for a moment. Then, I said, ¡°yes. Let¡¯s do it. Just help me!¡± Robin zoomed around and through my legs, and was done in an instant. I tugged on the ropes. There was much more give, but I wasn¡¯t free. ¡°Hey, what the hell? This is all you got?¡± ¡°This is all I can give you. If I help you any more, the boon you¡¯ll need to do for me will be too much for you to agree to. I don¡¯t want to doom you, kid, or take your first born.¡± ¡°When you put it like that¡ª¡± ¡°I got information though!¡± ¡°Thank god! What do you got?¡± ¡°Gold dress lady?¡± ¡°Yeah?¡± ¡°She¡¯s working for Queen Tenenbria. Has a crystal ball with her image in it. Like a reflection but of someone else, you know?¡± ¡°Uh. Okay. I don¡¯t actually know much about Queen Tenenbria. What¡¯s she look like?¡± ¡°Eh, you humans all look the same. She¡¯s pretty, I guess. Long hair. Black dress.¡± ¡°Okay, okay, what else you learn?¡± ¡°The Evil Queen is planning something for the big opening of the King¡¯s Gala in a couple days. Some kind of invasion of Swordfall.¡± ¡°Wait so the poisoning¡­¡± ¡°Brings Caleb¡¯s kids back to Swordfall. Whole family line is in one place.¡± ¡°Shit.¡± ¡°Yep.¡± ¡°Why would Princess Mia be part of that?¡± ¡°Who knows? Humans are fucked up.¡± ¡°You got that right. What else?¡± ¡°Eh, not much. Queen was originally from beyond the blue door and she¡¯s dangling that as a carrot for the Princess.¡± ¡°Shit, really? What does that mean?¡± ¡°Op! Gotta leave! Good luck!¡± And they were gone. Thunder cracked. No. Not thunder ¡ª cannon. A harpoon the size of my whole body pierced the wall of the ship. Water surged in around it. Princess Mia came running down the steps, her skirt tucked into her swordbelt, her face wild. ¡°Looks like Daddy cares more about catching me, than making sure you¡¯re safe.¡± ¡°Please don¡¯t say you¡¯re letting me drown.¡± ¡°I haven¡¯t made up my mind yet.¡± A roar of rage, a familiar roar, sounded above me. Swords clashed. Another report of thunder, a second harpoon, crashed into the side. More water surged up past our ankles. Princess Mia walked around behind me, behind the chair. She put the sword to my throat, and watched the stairs leading up. ¡°Looks like this is gonna be over soon,¡± I said. ¡°How about you let me go, and I put in a good word?¡± ¡°You think I¡¯m that stupid?¡± ¡°No. I thought maybe you valued my word?¡± ¡°A man¡¯s word spends as well as a wooden penny.¡± ¡°So, not well?¡± ¡°And it¡¯ll give you splinters.¡± ¡°Fair enough.¡± The body of a pirate rolled down the steps. I worked on the bonds around my wrist. I just had one hand free. I had to make little movements, so she didn¡¯t notice. Robin had really made them looser. Maybe I had this? Bernadette stalked down the stairs with the dangerous swagger of a cat ready to pounce. ¡°Let him go,¡± she said. ¡°It¡¯s done.¡± ¡°Not yet.¡± ¡°How did you find me?¡± I asked. ¡°Scratched your hand, remember?¡± That magic item was far better than it had any right to be. ¡°That¡¯s far enough.¡± The rapier wasn¡¯t a cutting weapon, but the edge was still razor-sharp. Only a little pressure on my neck, and it started to bleed. Bernie didn¡¯t say anything. She just threw her dagger. Princess Mia was forced to parry, sending the weapon harmlessly into the water. ¡°I believe in you!¡± I shouted, pulling my hand free and flourishing it at Bernadette. Water sprayed into the air and she ran through it. Mia lunged at her, and Bernie immediately threw herself back, just avoiding impalement. ¡°Ocoltarse!¡± I yelled and disappeared. I was still stuck to the chair, but as long as I didn¡¯t attack anyone, I was much harder to stab. To punctuate this choice, Mia stabbed down at me and missed, then fell back as Bernadette circled toward her. The chair fell over as more water washed in. I struggled to keep my head up above it, and furiously worked to free my other hand. I could hear the clash of blades behind me. But I had more pressing issues. I had to untie myself before the water covered my head. Chapter 28 — Duel On a Sinking Ship I got this. No problem. With my second hand free, getting my feet out took no time at all. I tugged on the loose chords as the staccato clatter of blade on blade reminded me of the deadly dance behind me. I turned my head and saw them exchange some parries and repostes, testing each other¡¯s styles and reach. The Princess seemed unhurried to end the fight all at once, despite the rushing water, and Bernie respected the rapier¡¯s great length. Finally free, I stood and sloshed across the hold to give them space. The duel between Princess Mia and Bernadette seemed far from over. Ah, shit. This next part is about duels and weapons. It all gets rather technical if I want to do it justice. And I can¡¯t really know who is reading this. Bear with me as I give some context, yeah? Let¡¯s talk about swords. Short weapons of all types are ideal for skirmishers, or urban combat ¡ª places where large weapons could get caught on nature, or small enclosed spaces. They¡¯re also great for fighting in formation next to someone else that needs to swing a piece of steel right next to your head without whacking you. For a duel? For a duel, you want the most deadly thing, with the longest reach. In this case a rapier ¡ª the weapon Princess Mia held, glowing ominously in her hand ¡ª was the superior weapon; maybe the ideal weapon for a one-on-one fight. At this point, Bernie has tested its reach, and found the smallsword was just long enough for her to get in, and out if she was quick. And her form was perfect. And she didn¡¯t mess up. She had to be darn near perfect. People have this notion, based on its appearance, that a rapier is a light, delicate weapon, but that is a dangerous mistake. A rapier has all the steel of a longsword stretched out as long as possible, and ending in a devious point. It¡¯s only a couple pounds, but try holding that out as far as you can for a couple minutes, and those couple pounds get real heavy. It¡¯s a significant, and deadly, weapon. Conversely, Bernie¡¯s short sword, Thirsting Thorn, and smallsword, Fascinator, were great weapons, fantastic ones even. And they were much lighter. If she could draw the fight out, maybe Princess Mia would tire. But Princess Mia just had to get one good hit in, and she¡¯d puncture right through Bernie¡¯s chest. Even with her fancy new armor, it would all be over. Bernie lunged with Fascinator. Mia caught the blade in the long quillons of her sword, and very nearly disarmed her with a flick of her wrist. Bernie wrenched her sword free with a ringing of steel. This was a keen reminder of the fact that Princess Mia had held a sword in her hand since she was old enough to ask for it. Undoubtedly, she had killed fewer men, but she was much more practiced in a duel, and it showed. This is all to say that it was not an equal match ¡ª not even close. Bernadette would need to be very clever, or very lucky to come out of this alive. Two swords absolutely are better than one ¡ª if you can get their points or edges close enough without exposing your body. Bernadette was not used to that. Her fighting style relied on ambushes from behind, or when her opponent was distracted. The princess had her whole attention on Bernie. Bernadette lunged in, swiping with one sword, then the other. The Princess twisted her wrist catching the smallsword with her long quillons and engaging the blade well away from her, then ¡®voiding,¡¯ or turning to the side as the shortsword passed by her uselessly. She then twisted her wrist again and flicked the rapier, smacking Bernie on the side of the head, easily. Bernie shuffled back through the water. ¡°You¡¯re fucking with me,¡± Bernie snarled. ¡°Need to make my own fun sometimes.¡± Then, Bernie thought to end it all at once. She lunged, beat the rapier blade off-line with her shortsword just long enough to go for a stab with the smallsword. Mia elegantly flicked her wrist, getting the blade back in line, and stabbing right through Bernie¡¯s shoulder. My blood ran cold. It was a bad hit. Water sloshed and sprayed in the air, as Bernie stumbled, retreated out of her range. Princess Mia stalked forward confidently. Shit. Bernie was going to need my help. I didn¡¯t have a weapon. I could use the Edge of Nothing. But I also wasn¡¯t sure I wanted to murder Caleb¡¯s daughter. She didn¡¯t seem to have the same qualms about us. Man, this sucked. I exited invisible to place a hand on Bernie¡¯s shoulder, and give her some healing. ¡°Thanks,¡± she whispered to me, keeping her eyes on the Princess. ¡°You didn¡¯t run,¡± Princess Mia remarked, looking right at me. ¡°You must like her a great deal.¡± She slowly walked toward us, her off hand held delicately out to her side, and her sword held point up in front of her face. She¡¯d shown this stance to be deceptively strong. To the untrained eye, it seemed that her entire lower body was open to attack, but the ranges you would need to effectively strike them made it entirely untenable. The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. She had everything under control. ¡°What if I just leave with him now?¡± Bernadette asked, panting from exertion. ¡°Maybe we don¡¯t fight?¡± ¡°Aw. But now you have caught my interest. I am curious to know what happens if I kill a Promised Hero. Maybe the bloody blue door opens right over your corpse. Shall we see?¡± The Princess swiped with the rapier. We both scrambled back. Bernie tucked her shortsword under an arm, and threw a dagger. Again, Princess Mia batted it out of the air harmlessly. ¡°You¡¯re nasty,¡± Bernadette replied. ¡°Oh come on, how many people have you stabbed in the back? What would daddy say? ¡®Game recognizes game?¡¯¡± ¡°We¡¯re playing two different games, I think.¡± Mia lunged again. Bernie was forced to parry the blow to the left, away from me, lashed back, then parried the counter riposte wildly. I needed a sword. The ceiling, or I guess the deck above, shattered and a body fell through. Bernie used that moment to strike Mia in the upper arm, then wheeled away from her. The Princess scowled, shook her head slightly and calmed herself. Her fingertip brushed the flat of her blade, and she pulled a mote of light from it. A flick of her finger and the mote of light hit her shoulder, and the blood stopped flowing. ¡°She¡¯s got healing too,¡± I said. ¡°Yeah, I got that. Can you go find a sword?¡± ¡°On it.¡± I searched through the bodies of the dead. One had a sword through his belt. Redeemer! Thank god, a lucky break! I pulled out Redeemer and flourished it just in time for two other pirates to rush in. One wielded an axe and a pistol. The other a cutlass. I went for the man with a pistol first. The pistol gave a heavy report. The bullet struck my hip. Blood poured from the wound. This was the first time I¡¯d been shot. Pain lanced through my entire body, and I immediately felt the urge to just lay down. I was cooked. This is how I was going to die. An arrow pierced the throat of the man with the cutlass. He fell from the stairs, into the water. ¡°Not today,¡± I said through gritted teeth, fighting unconsciousness. The pain in my hip lessened. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Cal give me a little wave from the hole in the ceiling. He moved and disappeared from view. I slashed with my sword to keep the remaining pirate on his toes. A second man with a sword rushed to replace the one who had fallen. I slashed again with Redeemer and cut the hand of the man who held the axe, fingers flying, then I swung at the man next to him, sending him back a step, sparks flying across his face, whipped the sword back around, and pierced the heart of the first one. ¡°I got your back!¡± I said. ¡°Good!¡± Bernie yelled as a reply. ¡°I just need to wrap this up!¡± ¡°Bold words,¡± Mia countered. She slashed at Bernie¡¯s face, forcing her to throw her upper body back, or void the attack. The water continued to pour in, surging past our calves. The pirate with the sword had the high ground on the stairs. He swiped at my face. I parried the blow, sparks flying. He flinched. I sliced his stomach deep. He grabbed himself, and fell past me. Bernadette retreated until we were practically back to back. ¡°You trying to kill her?¡± I asked. ¡°Yes!¡± ¡°Good! Caleb doesn¡¯t like you much anyway.¡± ¡°What?!¡± she gasped, then was forced to meet Mia¡¯s advance. A long exchange of attacks, parries, and repostes sent the ring of steel into the air. Another pirate ran down the steps. My head still ached. And I was beginning to tire. Surely I wasn¡¯t still suffering from the drugs? My first parry of his sword sent sparks into his eyes, and he stumbled back up the stairs and away from me. I had precious seconds. I wheeled around. ¡°Beta formation!¡± I yelled. Bernie didn¡¯t hesitate. I shoved my sword into the floorboards and cupped my hands. She put her foot in it, and I launched her into the post behind her. Her feet planted, and she ran up it. I grabbed my sword and wheeled back to the men advancing down the stairs. I threw my hand out and cast a shatter spell that echoed through the hold, splintering wood, and sending spurts of blood from their ears. One fell, and the other halted as he tried to get his bearings. I glanced back. Princess Mia roared in frustration, and swiped at Bernie wildly. The black clad girl kept just out of reach and threw a dagger. Mia batted it aside. Another dagger. This one buried itself into her neck. Being at a 90 degree angle from her, on the post, Mia was forced to parry wildly, and couldn¡¯t bring her traditional sword forms to bear. Rapier fencing was a lateral form of lunges and retreats. It simply didn¡¯t work when you were forced to fight someone above your head. ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Getting tired?¡± Princess Mia just gave a sneer, wisely saving her breath. The fighting above us stopped. That was weird. Mia and Bernie traded a couple half-hearted exchanges. Princess Mia gave ground and walked back toward the cargo hold. She tore the dagger from her neck, pulled a vial of something from her belt, and downed it. The blood from her neck stopped. Falling through the opening in the ceiling, surrounded by and held aloft by a flurry of golden feathers, came King Caleb. ¡°Daddy?¡± Princess Mia¡¯s voice was small. ¡°Oh, don¡¯t ¡®daddy¡¯ me,¡± he said, his voice rumbling with rage and authority. ¡°These men lay dead for what? You endanger your own child, my grandchild, for what? Have I not given you enough?¡± His armor glinted silver, white, and blue in the light that poured from the opening above. It was like there was nobody else in the world but him. Nobody fought. Nobody breathed. The water did not get the gravity of this moment and continued to surge into the hold. ¡°She¡¯s safe,¡± Mia muttered. ¡°She¡¯s with her father. She¡¯s fine.¡± ¡°And if you died here in some fool duel,¡± Here Caleb¡¯s eyes darted to Bernie with scorn, then back at his daughter, ¡°who would raise her?¡± ¡°I had everything ¡ª¡± ¡°No, I have everything under control,¡± he growled, advancing. ¡°Conspiring with my enemies? Poisoning your brother¡¯s wife? You have much to answer for. Come, before we all drown.¡± Princess Mia¡¯s eyes hardened, and she tilted her head up to look back at her father, her eyes hooded with contempt. ¡°No.¡± I watched Caleb¡¯s heart break in real time. His jaw went slack with surprise, and the lines on his face deepened. All the fight left his shoulders. They sagged as if being pulled down by invisible ropes. This man felled giants. He fought the minotaur in single combat. He¡¯d stood up to nations, and seen them back down. He was not able to weather his daughter¡¯s open betrayal. ¡°What do I tell your mother?¡± Caleb asked. ¡°Tell her whatever you like.¡± Princess Mia dropped her sword into the knee high water, pulled an amulet from her pouch, then snapped it in half. She swirled into silver mist and disappeared. Bernie leapt to where Mia had been, and fished the sword from the water, flourishing it dramatically. ¡°What?¡± she asked, rhetorically. ¡°It¡¯s a good sword.¡± Chapter 29 — I Get Conflicting Advice The trip back to Swordfall wasn¡¯t uneventful, but I don¡¯t remember a whole lot of it. I slept a lot. The drugs working its way through my system had exhausted me. I do remember being in a hammock in the hold of Caleb¡¯s ship, waking just enough to see Bernadette sleeping in a sturdy wooden chair. ¡°Thank you for saving me,¡± I said. She opened an eye and said, ¡°You better. Worked my ass off.¡± I made a show of lifting my head up to look at her. ¡°Looks like there is plenty of it left.¡± It was an incredibly dumb joke. But it got a laugh out of her. ¡°Go to sleep,¡± she said. I did. Eventually, I awoke to the sun streaming in through a porthole. Thankfully, Bernie was in a hammock now too. I got out, stumbling a bit, probably more to do with my lack of sea legs than the drugs. I made my way to the deck. Had enough of ship''s holds for one week, thank you very much. Out on the deck were about a dozen folks in various states of leisure and work. Some working on ropes, some playing cards. Everyone in a state of action and soft conversation. Or singing. A tune would start up with one, then be taken up by another, then peter out. I had some notion of sailor¡¯s work songs, sung when the sails needed to be taken down or up, but this wasn¡¯t that. It was just fun, just culture, I guess. Caleb had his back to me, out watching the horizon and the approaching bay. He was unarmored, a thin sleeveless shirt showing his well muscled shoulders and arms. Scars ran down them, showing to all that their king had won his position through his own sweat and blood, not birth. We were probably getting close to Swordfall by my estimation, the white cliffs of the Lionette countryside just coming into view. ¡°How are you doing?¡± I asked Caleb. ¡°You don¡¯t want to know how I¡¯m doing, kid,¡± he said darkly. ¡°Oh.¡± ¡°So, talk your shit,¡± he said. ¡°What?¡± He laughed. ¡°You¡¯re very white,¡± he said matter of factly. ¡°Speak to me of your troubles, so that my mind may dwell on something else.¡± I knew that. It was just¡­ yeah, maybe I was very white. Caleb was in a bad way right now. He¡¯d just been betrayed by his eldest daughter. His only daughter. And though he hadn¡¯t been literally stabbed, he¡¯d maybe lost her forever. Which was probably worse. I didn¡¯t know if Bernie had filled him in on the important stuff, and I didn¡¯t know if anyone knew that there was going to be a big attack at the gala, but there wasn¡¯t anything anyone could do about it until we got back. Caleb needed a distraction. So what kind of shit did I have going on? ¡°I think I missed my date,¡± I said. ¡°How many days is it til the gala?¡± ¡°It¡¯s tomorrow,¡± he said. ¡°What date?¡± ¡°Promised Bernie a date after we caught the spies.¡± ¡°That girl¡¯s a damn mess. But she¡¯s cute. I''ll give you that.¡± He turned to face me. ¡°Why do you think you¡¯ve missed your date?¡± ¡°Because it was supposed to be today, but by the time we get back¡ª¡± ¡°You think that would have stopped me?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not you, man.¡± ¡°I think you mean ¡®I¡¯m not you, your majesty.¡¯¡± ¡°Oh shit, I¡¯m sorry, I¡ª¡± Caleb laughed and slapped me on the back, then turned to take in the ocean again. ¡°I¡¯m just messing with you,¡± he gave me a sly smile before continuing. ¡°If you could do anything, right now, what would you do?¡± ¡°I guess throw her a dinner date on the ship?¡± ¡°Okay, do that.¡± ¡°But I can¡¯t cook, and I¡¯m not suave like that.¡± ¡°You think I don¡¯t have one of the finest cooks in the country on this boat? And suave? What do you need that for? You don¡¯t think she likes you?¡± ¡°She likes me well enough, I guess.¡± ¡°Good. Then you¡¯re all set. Next problem.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not like you. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll just say ¡®be yourself.¡¯ But that¡¯s easy advice for an actual freaking king. And even before that ¡ª¡± ¡°Stop,¡± Caleb said, turning to lean against the railing. ¡°You¡¯re right. This whole vibe doesn¡¯t work. Look, kid, I¡¯d never say ¡®be yourself¡¯ because that doesn¡¯t tell anybody who you¡¯re supposed to be. Right now I¡¯m ¡®Friend Caleb,¡¯ You think I show up to court as ¡®Friend Caleb?¡¯ No, at court I¡¯m the Fucking King, and I know it.¡± I just gazed at him for a moment. Here he radiated warmth. His brown eyes drew me in. But I¡¯d also seen ¡®Cold Fury Caleb¡¯ and ¡®Regal Majesty Caleb.¡¯ If I chose to be somebody, who would I choose to be? ¡°You¡¯re starting to get it,¡± he said. ¡°Sort of. I¡¯m supposed to be charismatic, but I don¡¯t feel that way. I¡¯m supposed to be charming, but I don''t get it. Why does Bernadette even like me in the first place?¡± ¡°That¡¯s all the wrong questions. People like each other for any number of reasons. Maybe you trauma bonded out here. Maybe she likes your honest, nerdy thing you got going. She likes you,¡± he said with certainty. I gave him a quizzical look. ¡°Look, Rachel, Cal, they talk. And you and Bernadette seem to be the only thing you guys want to talk about outside work.¡± This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source. ¡°Really?¡± ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s a little annoying.¡± ¡°Right.¡± ¡°But as soon as you figure this thing out, you can focus on the important stuff.¡± ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± ¡°What your life is going to be like together. What you¡¯ll do once you know what you¡¯re about.¡± He let that sink in for a moment, and waved at someone behind me. ¡°Look,¡± he said, ¡°I got to go do king shit. But I¡¯ll give you a crash course in girls.¡± ¡°Really?¡± ¡°Yeah, look. Here¡¯s the big shocker: girls are people. Seducing a woman is exactly like making any kind of connection with somebody, you¡¯re just flagging different intentions. And while I can¡¯t tell you every little way to tell a girl you¡¯re interested, really interested, I can remind you that you got the stats for this.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know if I believe ¡ª¡± ¡°Nah, you¡¯ve got a force of personality. Use it. Tonight, you have to anchor yourself to the moment. Anytime you get nervous, you lose the moment. You make it about yourself. Make the moment about her. It¡¯s not gonna take care of all the nerves but,¡± Caleb¡¯s eyes darted to the people behind me. ¡°Here¡¯s a trick I used to use. If you feel yourself slipping, and you¡¯re already close to her, reach out and touch her. You¡¯re on a date. A little bit of that stuff is fine. Just a shoulder, an arm. Don¡¯t get weird. But that touch is gonna ground you at the same time as it does her.¡± ¡°Stay in the moment. Got it. Touch her shoulder.¡± ¡°I mean it can be her hand too. Probably the hand for you.¡± ¡°Got it.¡± ¡°See, you¡¯re doing it,¡± he said, putting his hand on my shoulder. I was yanked out of my head, and suddenly it was just the king, and his steely eyes, and his warm hand. ¡°Woah.¡± ¡°Relax. You¡¯re talking to me, so talk to me.¡± ¡°You think I can do this?¡± ¡°Hell yeah. And it¡¯s not just staying in the moment, you need to project yourself. Project kindness. Project interest in her. Think about the feeling, and let it carry over into your interactions.¡± ¡°This all sounds so ¡ª¡± ¡°I can see I¡¯m losing you,¡± he said, taking his hand back. ¡°Where am I losing you?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know. I don¡¯t know if I¡¯m this kind of guy. It¡¯s like you want me to pretend to be a cooler guy than I am.¡± Caleb sighed, a bit of exasperation coming through. ¡°Look, there ain''t no such thing as fake. It¡¯s all just what you do. Nobody sees your intentions. They just see you being better. People go through the world using ¡®authenticity¡¯ as a way to be the worst versions of themselves. That¡¯s bullshit. If you be the guy you want to be, even if it ain''t who you was before, then that¡¯s who you are now. Don¡¯t be authentically you. Just be better, and that will be you.¡± ¡°Shit.¡± ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s a thinker. I gotta go.¡± The wind picked up off the ocean, cold. I did have a lot to think about. It had been an eventful couple of days. I could feel in my bones that this was just the calm before the storm. The real shit was headed for us. Were we going to be ready for it? But maybe it was just the wind. I looked around for a jacket. On my way below decks I saw Rachel. She sat me down in Caleb''s room, at the edge of his huge, plush bed. A stained glass window dominated the back of the boat. It was a beautiful elven woman in the nude. She threw a blanket around my shoulders, and we shared a mug of wine. I filled her in on what I¡¯d learned about Princess Mia, and about the attack on the gala. She was shocked at the idea that it could be a way to get the Princes together in one place. After a while my ADHD took me in a different direction. ¡°Is that the queen?¡± I asked, pointing to the stained glass window. ¡°Caleb wouldn¡¯t¡­¡± she stopped mid sentence and tilted her head, as if looking at the window with a different perspective. ¡°Shit, he¡¯s got the queens¡¯ tits out and covering the whole back of the room.¡± ¡°What¡¯s with you and Braelyn?¡± ¡°Sorry, I¡¯m still struck by how weird these two are with each other. She¡¯s got him in marble, he¡¯s got her in stained glass. And it¡¯s not like you can¡¯t see this window from the outside.¡± I punched her lightly in the shoulder. She winced, but smiled. Apparently she¡¯d distinguished herself in that last fight. We were all a little banged up still. ¡°Rachel?¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± she sighed. ¡°I like her a lot. But, I don¡¯t know. I don¡¯t do serious. And you can¡¯t fuck the queen¡¯s sister on a lark.¡± ¡°Are you sure it¡¯s not serious?¡± She took a sip of her wine. ¡°Nah. It¡¯s just a crush. On my end. She¡¯s, well, she¡¯s too important.¡± ¡°You¡¯re literally one of the Promised Heroes, destined to save the fucking world. You¡¯re plenty important.¡± Rachel thought for a moment. ¡°Thanks.¡± ¡°I thought you stopped drinking?¡± ¡°I stopped drinking around her.¡± ¡°Baby steps?¡± ¡°Baby steps,¡± she said, before taking another sip from her mug. ¡°So what¡¯s this about a date on the boat?¡± ¡°How do you know already?¡± ¡°It¡¯s a small boat.¡± Then I launched into my plans for my date with Bernadette. She interrupted me. ¡°Wait, what¡¯s this about touching her hand?¡± ¡°He said if I get nervous, I touch her hand, and it¡¯ll ground me.¡± ¡°That¡¯s terrible advice. Fucking Caleb,¡± she muttered to herself. ¡°Hand touching is an escalation. If you try to escalate too soon, or if it doesn¡¯t go over well, because your hand is sweaty or ¡ª¡± ¡°Jesus,¡± I said, ¡°I¡¯m gonna fuck this up.¡± I paced across Caleb¡¯s fine carpet. I am not too proud to say that I was a stuttering, muttering mess. ¡°I¡¯m gonna ruin the friendship, and fuck up the team, and I¡¯m gonna strand us all here, and ¡ª¡± Rachel stood, walked over to me, and kicked me in the shin. ¡°Ouch! Why did you ¡ª¡± I started to say, but then I noticed that she had her arms out for a hug. I let her hug me. ¡°I was spiraling,¡± I said. ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°Thanks. I¡¯m glad you didn¡¯t have your belt on.¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± We sat back on Caleb¡¯s bed. ¡°Look, this is just an opportunity to let her know how you feel.¡± ¡°Right.¡± ¡°You know how you feel, yeah?¡± I threw myself back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling of Caleb¡¯s room. Someone had frescoed a painting of the sky with cherubs sitting on the clouds. It was good. I almost felt like I was gonna fall up into it. I¡¯ve almost died half a dozen times at this point, and each time the biggest regret that passed my mind was not telling Bernadette how I felt. ¡°I think I love her,¡± I said. Rachel hit me with a pillow. ¡°Jeez! Stop! You¡¯re so violent!¡± ¡°The L word. Is. Too. Soon!¡± ¡°I know!¡± Rachel threw the pillow on the ground, and lay on the bed next to me. ¡°It¡¯s a date, Zach,¡± Rachel said, staring up at the ceiling with me. ¡°You¡¯ve been on a date.¡± ¡°I mean, I think twice?¡± ¡°Really, only twice?¡± ¡°Yeah, my first serious girlfriend, we¡¯d just hook up in her dorm. We didn¡¯t really date.¡± ¡°See what I am working with, naked cherub baby?¡± she said, gesturing to the ceiling. ¡°The man¡¯s uncultured.¡± We lay there for a moment, neither of us really knowing what to say. Then, we were rescued. I have no idea what we¡¯d have done if they hadn¡¯t shown up. Probably half ass the date. ¡°Alright, get up!¡± Braelyn said. ¡°We have exactly one hour to plan this thing, get the room set up, and get this slob dressed.¡± I sat up and cursed. Rachel stood and wiped her hands on her pants, and held her hand out as if she were going to shake Braelyn¡¯s hand. I shot her a look. Rachel folded her hands in front of her. Braelyn pulled out a cloth measuring tape. ¡°Woah, what gives! How did you get here?¡± ¡°I teleported here as soon as Caleb told me what you planned to do. I¡¯m honestly disappointed I wasn¡¯t your first call.¡± I stood. She continued measuring. ¡°What¡¯s all this for?¡± ¡°Just confirming my previous suspicions. I think I have your measurements right. That¡¯ll make this go quick.¡± ¡°What do you want me to do?¡± Rachel asked. ¡°Go wake up Bernadette so we can get this party started. The queen sent her a dress in her approximate size. I brought a tailor too.¡± ¡°Wait, the queen knows about this?¡± I asked. Braelyn gave me a disappointed look. ¡°She¡¯s the queen. You should assume there isn¡¯t anything she doesn¡¯t know.¡± Chapter 30 — Date Night Someone else¡¯s delicate fingers buttoned my vest. Another¡¯s pinned my cape. A third ran their fingers through my hair, swishing it just so. The last stage of my costume for dinner came together in a flurry of activity. It was all black, with dark green accents, the embroidery on my coat, the lining of my cape. Apparently this was to bring out the color of my eyes. I didn¡¯t have a mirror, the only full length one was in Caleb¡¯s room, and that was where Bernadette was getting ready, but I could see what it looked like from looking down. A dark coat jacket buttoned down the left side of my chest to match the pants. And my side cloak shimmered with green silk in the soft lamplight. Queen Cerelia had teleported here along with the tailors and such. I thought maybe it was to make this into a more formal occasion, but apparently it was as Bernadette''s moral support. Caleb finally let spill that she had been the one teaching her in their private lessons. The two of them, King and Queen, played cards over a barrel while I got ready. Everywhere else in the hold of the ship, folks played cards. The sound of quiet conversation was punctuated by intermittent chuckles, and huffs of consternation. A makeshift tournament had been drummed up with silly prizes. I got the idea that real money would have made it rowdy. Prizes included things like choice work assignments, extra rations, a small bit of candy, and the grand prize of a kiss on the cheek from the Queen. The crew was already mixed gender, so the addition of more women to the ship caused little drama. The only military on Vesperalis that wasn¡¯t integrated were the elves. Why was anyone¡¯s guess. I was told the herb women took to control their cycles here was said to be plentiful in the Kingswood, so it must have been a cultural thing, not a practical one. That line of thinking led me to what could happen at the end of the date. Caleb allowed us the use of his room as a place for ¡®drinks and conversation¡¯ in private. Yep, that was way too scary. Not going there. So, I was basically ready! I trudged across the hold to the stairs up. Caleb grabbed my arm on the way. ¡°Hey, it¡¯s a date. It¡¯s for fun. Have fun.¡± ¡°I will,¡± I replied with my best smile. ¡°Ha! Close enough.¡± He smiled at me then leaned in to continue talking to his wife. I think in the past, I would look at Caleb and Cerelia with envy. They were both so beautiful, so exceptional. But here, seeing them play cards together, laughing. It was nice. I couldn¡¯t summon any feeling but appreciation. The way she looked at him wasn¡¯t the carefully composed fondness she used at lunch. She looked at him with familiarity, and unreserved mirth. They truly loved each other. Nope. Wait. There it was. I was a little jealous that they got to be so happy. I quickly dismissed it. Everyone had worked pretty hard to get me this date. I was incredibly fortunate to have this many people who cared about me. Or who cared about Caleb, who cared about me. I passed Rachel and Braeyln at the stairs. They shared steaming mugs of tea. Rachel gave me a grin. Braeyln gave me a cool nod. I wondered if maybe they had a chance to be happy. What was holding them back? Rachel seemed to remember something, and waved me over. ¡°Hey, you look great,¡± she said. ¡°Thanks!¡± ¡°Remember,¡± Braelyn butt it, ¡°dinner, dance, then private drinks.¡± ¡°I remember.¡± ¡°Do you?¡± ¡°Anyway,¡± Rachel said, ¡°don¡¯t drink too much at dinner. You want to impress her, not be a mess.¡± ¡°Got it.¡± ¡°And you have to lower the stakes. This is just to get to know her. Let her set the pace til you get a go ahead for action.¡± ¡°Action?¡± ¡°Or not. Keep your expectations low.¡± ¡°But take this seriously,¡± Braelyn said. ¡°Jesus,¡± I muttered. ¡°You¡¯ll do great,¡± Rachel said. She slapped my ass and shook my shoulder. ¡°Go get ¡®er tiger.¡± I laughed. Okay, game time. What happened next needed my full focus. I grabbed the banister, and walked up the steps. Out on the deck was a whole new world. Usually crawling with people, now there were just a few. A soft amber glow spilled from arcane lamps, and yellow fairylight hovered here and there. Robin''s promised friends, I supposed. I¡¯d asked them to do something nice for another favor. I guess mood lighting was his play. The deck had been scrubbed, and lacquered to a sheen. A fruit tree in a massive pot hung oranges over the table set for us. A bottle of wine sat on ice. Music drifted in from a violin player leaning against the mast. Where had they gotten the tree? Or the ice for that matter? I knew the answer was either magic or great wealth, but it was astounding either way. Starlight spilled across the sky in a raging torrent, much more than it ever did in the city, the way you only get out on cloudless ocean night. It was truly stunning. Bernadette stood next to the table. She took my breath away. Look, I¡¯m much better at describing the fundamentals of Historical European Martial Arts, or the ins and outs of Python, than like fashion or textiles. Even after talking to Rachel about it, I wasn¡¯t even sure I knew the difference between chiffon and brocade or whatever. But let me do this dress justice. Of course my eyes went to the corset first, a dark maroon that complemented her lipstick ¡ª and not just because of the lifting it did to her bust ¡ª but because it was emblazoned with a thousand glimmering beads that swirled and whirled in sweeping shapes. The beads traveled down the skirt, which was slashed with cutouts of lace, through which pale skin showed. Her hair was still very short, so she¡¯d opted for a slicked back wet look, and accessorized with a black lace choker, and single lacy glove. A skinny belt hung around her waist for a single dagger. Even on a date, she had the option for violence. I thought that was hot as hell. When she turned to look at me, her pale neck arced from her clavicle to her ear in a way that set my blood racing. Like, yes, a woman¡¯s typical curves are great, but there is something about an exposed neck and clavicle that makes a man¡¯s brain go haywire. I reined in my stupid man-brain, and focused on keeping it under wraps. I smiled and waved in a way that I hoped was genuine. I wanted to show my excitement. This was a measured and chill version of what I really wanted to do which was wolf-whistle and slam my fist on the table while my eyeballs popped out of my skull, and my tongue rolled out of my mouth ¡ª so please don¡¯t judge me too harshly for waving like a dork at the beginning of a date. She laughed and smiled wide, and my heart darn near exploded into a thousand pieces. What a woman. I could feel my cheeks flush. I grabbed the banister with one hand, and balled my fist with the other. I knew I could do this. She liked me. I¡¯d faced death itself a dozen times. I could go on a date with a girl that liked me. But what if she didn¡¯t love me? Well, I¡¯d survived being shot and stabbed, I could survive a broken heart too. I just had to nut up and leave my cards on the table. Tonight wasn¡¯t about me anyway. It was about her. I walked to the table, and managed not to trip. ¡°You look great,¡± I said. Bernadette¡¯s eyes traveled up my outfit, and she responded with, ¡°they got you shined up like a new penny.¡± ¡°Thanks!¡± She laughed. I moved her chair out for her. She had to bunch up her skirts to sit down, revealing her shoes ¡ª small black low-slung shoes with an impressive 5-inch heel that left her ankles exposed ¡ª and suddenly I understood exactly what the hullabaloo about ankles was about back in the day. I darted around to my spot, and sat. The violin player, a squat orc woman with short hair and a bored look, gave me a thumbs-up. She then rang a little bell. An explosion of flower petals that disappeared before they touched the ground heralded the arrival of Braelyn. She wore a smartly tailored vest and pants, and did a little bow. ¡°I¡¯ll be your server tonight,¡± she said with a cool expression. ¡°I¡¯m glad it¡¯s you,¡± Bernadette said, placing a hand on her arm. ¡°Appreciate it,¡± I said. ¡°Of course,¡± Braelyn replied. She served us drinks and the violinist played something sweet and swelling. The faint singing of the fairies droned under it. Then they stopped, and the violinist played something quieter. ¡°The fairies are a fun touch,¡± noted Bernie, ¡°those Robin¡¯s people?¡± ¡°I ah, I think so,¡± I replied. ¡°I just told them to do something nice.¡± ¡°Oh. Wow. They aren¡¯t one to hand out favors.¡± I just shrugged. Bernie nodded and took a sip of wine. Okay. Conversation starters. This was to get to know her. What did I want to know about her? We¡¯d already talked about her family a bit on the road ¡ª she was a middle child of a fairly large family. They didn¡¯t approve of her going into the arts as a full time career. And we¡¯d talked about politics enough that I was fairly sure that either one of us wouldn¡¯t surprise the other with an odious political opinion ¡ª something our parents didn¡¯t have to worry about, but was a serious consideration now. So I went with something easy. ¡°What kind of movies do you like? Maybe we can integrate one into our troubadour routine?¡± Bernie laughed. Braelyn set down a plate of shrimp on ice. Bernie plopped one in her mouth and chewed. She gave an indistinct noise. ¡°I¡¯m a big fan of the manly classics, Godfather, American Psycho ¡ª¡± I said. This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. She raised an eyebrow, and swallowed. ¡°I mean I get the irony in the movies, Patrick Bateman is supposed to be an unreliable narrator, and is too pathetic to really be a serial killer, it¡¯s just a fantasy he indulges in. Which, now that I think about it, probably wouldn¡¯t work here. Godfather maybe?¡± ¡°Right,¡± she said. ¡°But I also like Audrey Hepbern movies,¡± I said. ¡°Okay,¡± she said with a little more interest. ¡°Like what?¡± ¡°¡®Breakfast at Tiffanies¡¯ is the obvious one, despite the Mickey Rooney of it all. I think Holly Golightly is a fascinating character. Oh and ¡®Roman Holiday¡¯ of course.¡± ¡°Of course,¡± she said, nodding sagely. ¡°Did you know that Audrey Hepburn didn¡¯t think she could play an outgoing character?¡± I asked. ¡°No! She¡¯s so charismatic,¡± admitted Bernie. ¡°Her personal story is actually pretty fascinating. Her whole look was basically because of malnutrition during World War 2.¡± Bernie nodded and took a sip of wine. Shit. I was bombing. Don¡¯t talk about women¡¯s bodies maybe? I stopped my whole Audrey Hepburn talk, and directed it back to her. ¡°What about you?¡± ¡°We traveled around a lot as a kid. Didn¡¯t watch movies as much. Except for golden age musicals. Then, when I got older I discovered the internet.¡± Shit. Okay Zachary. Remember a single Golden Age Musical. My Fair Lady? Damn. That¡¯s just Audrey Hepburn again. Fiddler on the Roof? ¡°Did y''all watch Fiddler on the Roof?¡± ¡°Yes! Did you know the Broadway run was the first ever to run more than 3000 performances?¡± ¡°I did not know that!¡± ¡°Yeah! My mom¡¯s family is from Russia, she¡¯s Jewish. So it was a big deal in our household.¡± ¡°Wow,¡± I connected some dots. ¡°Wait. Your mom is a Russian gymnast?¡± ¡°Only in that her family is from Russia. But she was a Silver medalist.¡± ¡°Wow.¡± ¡°She was the serious one. And my dad taught me to juggle.¡± To drive the point home she tossed her fork high in the air then caught it behind her head. ¡°Ha!¡± I laughed. ¡°That never gets old.¡± She waggled her eyebrows, and smiled, before grabbing another shrimp. I grabbed one too. Braelyn set down a plate of bite sized crab biscuits. I snagged one. It was fantastic. Caleb¡¯s guy was good. Okay. Keep the conversation going. ¡°I don¡¯t know a lot about Fiddler. Who is your favorite character?¡± ¡°Tevye!¡± We launched into identical renditions of ¡®Rich Man,¡¯ including the ¡®yada yada dis.¡¯ ¡°You do know fiddler!¡± she said. ¡°I mean, mostly that song. Wait, why Tevye, and not one of the female characters?¡± ¡°I mean, you called them ¡®female characters¡¯ for one, and not their names. Also I like his jovial attitude that belies the quiet inner yearning to keep his family together in the face of tragedy. He¡¯s complex.¡± ¡°That makes sense.¡± We chatted a bit about movies and stories we liked, eventually turning to Caleb¡¯s play right as dinner was served. It was more elven fair, but with beef, very savory and well seasoned. Not too heavy though. I¡¯m sure it was fantastic. I barely touched it. ¡°Wait,¡± I interrupted, ¡°Benni¡¯s backstory is from Grey¡¯s Anatomy?¡± ¡°Yes!¡± she said, snorting with laughter. ¡°I can¡¯t imagine the great, and mighty King Caleb watching Grey¡¯s!¡± ¡°Well, it¡¯s not some sin to watch a show girls like! We do it all the time for y¡¯all.¡± ¡°Huh. Yeah, you¡¯re right. Wait, what show were you forced to watch?¡± ¡°Ugh,¡± she said, rolling her eyes, ¡°I¡¯m not getting into it.¡± ¡°Wait, isn¡¯t ¡®getting into it¡¯ the whole point of this date?¡± ¡°Yeah, sure,¡± she said, taking a sip of wine, before continuing, ¡°if you play your cards right.¡± I felt my face get hot, and I tried not to smile too wide. ¡°Mama Mia! Okay. That caught me by surprise.¡± ¡°Really?¡± she said silkily. ¡°Then you¡¯re not keeping up.¡± ¡°Hey, I can keep it up.¡± Bernadette snorted, and she coughed as she breathed a bit of wine. ¡°Shit!¡± she sputtered. I got up thinking to help her. She put her hand on my arm, to keep me where I was. She recovered quickly, and our eyes locked. Her hand didn¡¯t leave my arm. I put my other hand atop hers. ¡°Are you okay?¡± I asked. ¡°You win this round, Zachary.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not really winning, unless we win together.¡± ¡°I should hope so,¡± she said slyly. My face must have been red as a beet, and my heart thumped wildly out of control. I kept my cool. I let go and sat back down. Her hand trailed down my forearm as I left. ¡°Ah, we should finish this food,¡± I said. ¡°Nah,¡± Bernie said, shoving a last bit of steak into her mouth and talking while chewing, ¡°let¡¯s dance! Grula?¡± She directed to the violinist. The violin played something quick and snappy. I offered my hand without missing a beat. I was ready for this. I¡¯d practiced some with Cal ¡ª man was a great dancer ¡ª and got a refresher with Braelyn moments ago. I wasn¡¯t going to win a contest, but I knew how to keep a good topline, and lead with some confidence. I started by spinning her. She laughed. It was my favorite sound now. It almost scared me how much I craved it. But I didn¡¯t have time to think about that because I pulled her in, skirt swirling, and now she was close. My steps were a little wobbly on the deck, but I got used to it quickly. Her hands were a little damp. Was she nervous? I couldn¡¯t tell. We didn¡¯t talk. It wasn¡¯t time for that. The fairies danced with us, zipping around, lighting up her face with different hues. She didn¡¯t look away for long stretches. I held her gaze when I could. Two songs later, I saluted Grula, and she slowed the music. The fairies winked out, and it was just the two of us in the solitary lamplight ¡ª the two of us and the infinite stars. I pulled her in and she rested her face on my chest, as we swayed and caught our breath. Alright Zachary. You don¡¯t have to fake this. Just be the guy you want to be. ¡°I just realized that you¡¯re still wearing those heels. How the hell do you dance in those?¡± ¡°Practice. The cape looks nice!¡± ¡°Thanks! It¡¯s a loaner.¡± ¡°Good to know. I¡¯ll have to be careful with it when I take it off.¡± ¡°Careful Miss Bernadette. Don¡¯t want to write a check your mouth can¡¯t cash.¡± Was that how that saying went? Actually, I think it was something else, but I had to roll with it. ¡°Oh? And what makes you think you know what my mouth can do?¡± I hoped I¡¯d disguised the shiver that went down my spine. ¡°I¡¯m well acquainted with your mouth, thank you very much,¡± I said without missing a beat. ¡°I know what I¡¯m about,¡± she said, looking up at me. ¡°You ain¡¯t acquainted with anything yet.¡± I chuckled softly. This girl had my head spinning. We danced quietly for some time, then I led her back to the table. ¡°Thanks, Grula,¡± she said. Grula gave her a wink then sat on a barrel with the violin in her lap. She gazed out at the ocean, and let us talk. The wind was our only accompaniment. ¡°What do you plan to do when we get back?¡± I asked. No use delaying this conversation any longer. As fun as we were having, we had to have it at some point. Bernadette took a deep breath, pausing to think, her chest swelling like they do in a corset. Tactfully, I looked at her face. Because I¡¯m classy like that. ¡°I plan on doing what I¡¯d been working for, graduating, see if I can land a Broadway show.¡± ¡°Amazing.¡± ¡°It¡¯s been a dream since forever. What about you?¡± ¡°Guess I¡¯ll go back to work. Assuming no time has passed.¡± ¡°Oh, shit, I didn¡¯t think about that. Well, I could try Broadway without graduating.¡± ¡°What if that doesn¡¯t work out? What¡¯s your backup plan?¡± ¡°Why do I need a backup plan? I¡¯m gonna make it happen, hell or highwater. What¡¯s yours?¡± ¡°Oh.¡± It was my turn to think. My bosom presumably didn¡¯t swell like hers, so I tried for a pensive look. ¡°I don¡¯t have a big dream.¡± ¡°Yeah?¡± ¡°I mean,¡± I said with some trepidation. This made me look like I didn¡¯t have much going on. ¡°I¡¯m different now. I¡¯m not sure I¡¯d be happy with my old job. But I don¡¯t know what I¡¯d do otherwise. Maybe I¡¯d try my hand at writing, like Caleb did? Chronicle our adventures.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t know you were a writer,¡± she said, putting her chin in her hand. ¡°I could be. I mean I did some work for the college paper, so I¡¯m out of practice, but I think I could be.¡± ¡°For most men, saying ¡®I could be¡¯ would be a red flag,¡± she said, her brown eyes filled with concern. ¡°But I believe you.¡± ¡°You do?¡± ¡°Yeah. I¡¯ve seen you come alive here, kick ass. Maybe you could be anyone you wanted. Who do you want to be?¡± My mind quickly searched through the options that came to mind. First was that I wanted to be the man she wanted me to be. But I didn¡¯t know what that was. And what if she wanted me to be someone I didn¡¯t recognize? Second, I thought I wanted to be a man like Caleb, someone with a family, someone strong. But then I remembered what his daughter just did, and I wasn¡¯t sure I wanted that either. I was an only child. Maybe that was his problem. One too many kids. I answered honestly. ¡°I think I¡¯m on my way to figuring that out,¡± I said, then paused, unsure about the next part, but barreling through. ¡°Do you want kids?¡± ¡°Holy shit, Zachary!¡± she said, sitting back. ¡°What?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not sure that¡¯s a first date question. Plus, I¡¯m fucking 20. What do I know about that kind of stuff?¡± ¡°Well, pretend I¡¯m just the guy that has your back in a fight, and not your date.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not sure that makes this easier,¡± she said. She looked out at the ocean. I let myself notice the curve of her neck. ¡°I don¡¯t know. It sort of ruined my mom. So, probably not. ¡°Okay,¡± I said. ¡°Okay?¡± ¡°Yeah. Now I know.¡± ¡°You want kids?¡± she asked. ¡°I think I could. But I think I want you more.¡± ¡°You can¡¯t just come out, and say things like that, Zachary.¡± ¡°Why not?¡± ¡°Because that¡¯s the kind of shit boys say when they want in your pants.¡± ¡°Good thing you¡¯re wearing a dress.¡± ¡°Shut up!¡± ¡°What?¡± She put her hand on the table. That was an invitation. I took it. ¡°You¡¯re just so fucking cool,¡± I said. ¡°No, I¡¯m not,¡± she said. ¡°You just think I¡¯m pretty. You don¡¯t even know me.¡± ¡°I know enough to know I like what I do know.¡± ¡°Yeah? What do you know?¡± ¡°I know you¡¯re ruthless.¡± ¡°Of course,¡± she said with a small smile. ¡°I know you care so much about keeping us safe.¡± ¡°What if I¡¯m just doing that to go home?¡± ¡°I¡¯ve been told a woman can be more than one thing.¡± ¡°Very wise,¡± she said. She drained the last of her wine. Her eyes flicked to the mostly full wine bottle, then to my half full glass. ¡°You want some of mine?¡± I asked, holding up my glass. She slinked around the table and grabbed the glass. She then managed to sit in my lap without spilling a drop. I put my arms around her to steady her, and our faces remained close. ¡°Sure,¡± she said, taking a sip, ¡°what else do you know about me?¡± ¡°I know you¡¯re fiercely loyal. You don¡¯t trust easy, but you trust me. And that means a lot.¡± ¡°Mhmm.¡± ¡°I know you don¡¯t like to explain yourself. And you keep your secrets when maybe you could stand to be more forthcoming.¡± ¡°Maybe.¡± ¡°I know you work hard to get others to like you, but I¡¯m not sure you should bother. Anyone that doesn¡¯t like you isn¡¯t worth a dime.¡± ¡°I thought I made it look effortless.¡± ¡°Working hard is a good thing.¡± ¡°What would you know about a good thing?¡± she stood and walked back to her spot with my wine glass. I swallowed significantly, and grabbed her empty one. I know they told me not to get drunk, but I wanted some just in case. I poured another half glass. Bernadette smirked, and took a second sip from mine. The wind blew in. I tried to keep my head on straight. It wasn¡¯t just the wine that had my head spinning. ¡°Why are you so keen to get back home?¡± she asked. ¡°It seems to me like there may be more for you here.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I answered. ¡°Having to fight all the time sucks. I just got kidnapped and drugged. Here ain¡¯t all it¡¯s cracked up to be.¡± This time her laugh was darker, less light. ¡°But if you stay here,¡± she offered, ¡°you could have your pick of the Berryhops and bartenders of this world. You could be rich. That has its own appeal, yeah?¡± I took a sip of wine, and rubbed my chin. This question seemed like some sort of test. But I was too stupid to figure out what it was about. Did I want to stay here? Maybe? Caleb seemed to have it pretty good. And Sofia¡­ well she needed me right? Someone had to advocate for her. Wait. Was that what this was about? Was she trying to see if I still had feelings for Sofia? I mean, I did, but I don¡¯t think that mattered. If I still wanted Sofia more than her, I¡¯d have left when I had the chance. I loved Bernie, whatever that meant, whoever she was. I knew that much. I stood, and walked to her. ¡°I don¡¯t really get what this is about, but I¡¯m with you. Wherever this goes.¡± ¡°This isn¡¯t some sort of test,¡± she said. ¡°You should go where you want. Where do you want to be?¡± ¡°I want to be with you.¡± ¡°Yeah, now, but what about later?¡± ¡°What about later? I could die later. I don¡¯t know what comes next. But I know I want to face it next to you.¡± I wish I knew what was going on in her head. Her eyes, brown and soft and beautiful, they looked into mine and I saw something happen behind them that didn¡¯t make sense. Was she angry? Was she upset? Then she smiled, wide. She drained the last of my wine, stood, and took my hand. We walked together, and as we did, she slid her slate out of a pocket in her dress, and fired off a text to Braelyn. I couldn¡¯t help seeing it.
Shade: headed to Caleb¡¯s room. Don¡¯t bother us til sunrise
Chapter 31 — Those Darn Cherubs Delicate fingers unbuttoned my vest. Her hands were hungry, yet careful. I kissed her, and barely noticed anything else but her hands on me. Her hands unpinned my cape. I felt it rustle across my back as it hit the carpet. Then delicate fingers ran through my hair, ruining its careful placement. I stopped and stepped back to look at her. Her eyes were like a match that lit me up inside. ¡°You sure you want to do this?¡± I asked. A tray with the things we¡¯d need ¡ª a discrete bottle, an envelope with the contraceptive, the tea leaves for after ¡ª were set for us already. ¡°Ugh. Shush.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not a yes.¡± She did a little shimmy with her hands, then kicked a pair of white cotton undergarments off her bare foot from under her dress. She gestured to them casually. ¡°That answer your question?¡± she asked. ¡°I think I got it,¡± I answered, pulling my cotton shirt over my head. I was always a little self conscious going shirtless, but I didn¡¯t have time to be embarrassed. She ran her eyes over me, gave me an appreciative smile, then walked the several paces to me. I folded her in my arms, my hand gently massaging the skin of her back as we kissed. The fabric of her dress bunched as my other hand touched the small of her back through it. Her muscles had grown lean and corded from her time running through forests and across rooftops, and I was keen to feel each and every one of them. I could feel the lace of her corset, and just before I could think to untie it she said, ¡°don¡¯t bother with that.¡± She leapt on me, and I kissed her more fiercely. Then I wrapped my arms under her to keep her steady. I carried her to the bed. She managed to climb off me backward, and up the bed to make room for me, holding my hand as she did. I followed where she led. And that was atop her. We kissed more. I still had my pants on, and we were atop her skirts. She grabbed her skirts and hiked them up. Arousal was like a fire that burned every thought that wasn¡¯t about the feel of her body under me right out of my mind all at once. If you¡¯d asked me then if I ever wanted someone more in my life, I would have called you crazy. Because suddenly it was just her, and the feeling of her against me, and the things I needed to do to her. Then she pulled back. ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± she asked. ¡°Huh?¡± I followed her eyes and looked up, and behind me. The cherubs smiled down on us. ¡°Are those ¡ª¡± she started to say. ¡°The cherubs, yeah.¡± ¡°Cherubs?¡± we said simultaneously. We both laughed and I rolled off of her, taking a moment to breathe. I had hardly breathed since we walked in here. I stared up at the cherubs as my mind worked to fit back together. They all smiled down at me approvingly. Not that any expression made it okay, but that seemed to be the worst choice of the bunch. ¡°They¡¯re just smiling at us,¡± she said. ¡°I know,¡± I said, still chuckling a bit. ¡°Here,¡± she continued, ¡°I know what to do.¡± She started pulling my pants off. I helped her the last bit. Then she climbed atop me, and began kissing me again. Look. I know this is a published memoir, and you may or may not be reading this for the juicy intimate details of our private lives, but that doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯m good at talking about this kind of thing. I will say that at this point we¡¯d not ¡ª um ¡ª that is to say. Look. No actual intercourse was happening yet, but damn was it close. Just as I thought we were going to cross that line, she stopped. Her eyes looked straight ahead. ¡°Is that ¡ª¡± she started to ask. ¡°Is that what?¡± I asked back, barely able to string two thoughts together. ¡°Queen Cerelia?¡± I groaned and covered my face. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°That¡¯s fucking weird,¡± she said. I looked at her, and she looked at me. She crawled off me. I sat up. ¡°Didn¡¯t you get dressed in here?¡± I asked. ¡°Yeah, but I was so nervous, I couldn¡¯t really look at anybody but Braelyn and Cerelia.¡± Her eyes looked down at me, then back to my face. ¡°Nice,¡± she said. Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences. ¡°You¡¯re just saying that, but it''s always good to hear.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not a bad one,¡± she said. ¡°Should we really do this?¡± I asked. ¡°Fuck!¡± she cursed, and threw herself back on the bed. ¡°I don¡¯t know!¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know either. I mean, you¡¯re really freaking hot.¡± ¡°I¡¯m so fucking hot!¡± ¡°Right. You really are. And I want to do this.¡± ¡°There is nothing I want more in the world than that thing inside me,¡± she said, gesturing in my general direction. ¡°Also good to hear,¡± I said, grabbing a pillow and putting it in my lap. ¡°But¡­¡± she said. ¡°But?¡± ¡°I really don¡¯t want to get pregnant. Not here.¡± ¡°Me either,¡± I said. Her eyes cut to me, and I amended, ¡°I don¡¯t want you to get pregnant either.¡± We laughed. ¡°I¡¯m also not the kinda girl that can just do a quick handy, and be done with it. I know myself too well. If we start something, I¡¯m going to want to finish it.¡± ¡°That¡¯s dirty.¡± She laughed, and threw a pillow at me. I smiled. Then I thought some more. ¡°Also,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ve been working really hard to try and keep this team together, to work well together. And what if, if we hook up, I start treating you different than the rest of the team? What if I¡¯m forced to choose you over someone else I care about? That¡¯d really suck. It could get us all killed.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t really think about that,¡± she said. ¡°I was mostly worried that if we fucked, that was all you¡¯d ever see me as. Just a hookup.¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± I said. ¡°That¡¯s messed up. I told you I needed you months ago in like a special song and everything. I thought it was pretty clear that this wouldn¡¯t just be a hookup for me.¡± She let out a groan of frustration, and smoothed her skirts back over her legs. Then she turned to lay sideways on the bed. She looked at me with rueful longing. ¡°How is it you think so lowly of yourself,¡± I said, ¡°that you can¡¯t see I fucking cherish you.¡± ¡°Well,¡± she said. ¡°I don¡¯t know, Zach, maybe I¡¯m crazy.¡± I took her hand, and looked her right in her eyes. ¡°You¡¯re not crazy,¡± I said. ¡°But you aren¡¯t seeing me clearly.¡± ¡°What if this does fuck up the team?¡± she said. ¡°Maybe it already has?¡± We looked at each other for a long time. I didn¡¯t want to stop. I saw the way she gazed at me with longing, and it was good to be looked at like that, and it was good to see her. I felt my heart start to fray. She stood and walked to a chest, opened it, then began attempting to unlace the corset top of her dress. ¡°Could you help?¡± she asked. I was there in an instant. ¡°I should get changed into something more comfortable.¡± We both laughed at that. ¡°I mean,¡± she clarified, ¡°like actual clothes.¡± ¡°This isn¡¯t happening tonight,¡± I stated. ¡°Not tonight.¡± ¡°I think we¡¯re putting too much pressure on ourselves,¡± I said. ¡°I think so too.¡± She removed a comfortable black shirt from the chest, too big so probably Rachel¡¯s, and a fresh set of underpants. I got the corset lace untied rather easily, and began loosening it. I¡¯d never done this before, but whoever had laced it, likely Braelyn, had made sure it¡¯d come off with little effort. I didn¡¯t think it was appropriate to thank her for making it so easy, but I was grateful for it. Bernadette shimmied the dress off, and it fell to the carpet revealing, well, her. Now look, I don¡¯t want to wax poetic about it too much, but I described G¡¯nash naked, so it¡¯s only fair that I describe a bit of her too. My first view of her body was from behind. Her shoulders had fantastic definition, but were still a woman¡¯s, and her back was muscled all the way down. The burn scar was still there, but I didn¡¯t mind it. She didn¡¯t have a dancer¡¯s body. She ate too well for that ¡ª she had to because of how active we were ¡ª but it was close: graceful and strong, but womanly. Her, um, her backside was like¡­ well I¡¯d been to museums. I¡¯d seen the way the Romans had carved a goddess¡¯s ass before. She put those bastards work to shame. Her thighs had the least amount of definition, were satisfyingly plump, but made a graceful arc, and her calves were no less appealing. ¡°Like what you see?¡± she asked. It took several seconds of wrangling to get my mouth to produce an answer. ¡°You¡¯re more beautiful than I thought.¡± She laughed, turned, and I saw the rest of her. Her breasts were slight. She almost had abs, and there was a little pouch where her belly stopped to become her hips. I liked the way her hips looked. Again, she ate a lot, and had a healthy layer of fat and muscle for it. Maybe dancer or gymnast wasn¡¯t the right comparison. Maybe a kickboxer before they had to cut? Maybe a rock climber? Maybe the reason I couldn¡¯t find a comparison is because it was her body, and unlike anyone else¡¯s. She¡¯d crafted her body into a machine that killed people, that was ideal for traveling long distances, that could jump and fight, and love, and make me want her more than anyone else in the world. And seeing that laid bare for me, just made me want her more. ¡°Easy chief,¡± she warned. ¡°I got it,¡± I said, raising my hands. Her eyes traveled up my naked body. ¡°Damn, boy,¡± she said, ¡°you should put some clothes on too.¡± We laughed, and I shrugged into my shirt. She got dressed also. We both caught each other casting glances back, because if we didn¡¯t, when else would we get the chance? As soon as I got underpants on, she grabbed me by the shirt, and kissed me again. My willpower crumbled, and I hugged her tight, pressing my lips to hers, and letting my hands travel across her. I was not chaste. She pushed me back. I let her go. ¡°Damn,¡± she said. ¡°You can say that again.¡± ¡°Damn,¡± she said with a small chuckle. Her fingers trailed down my chest. I stepped back. ¡°Now what?¡± I asked. She put a finger to her lips, much less red now, kind of a smudged pink, and she made a show thinking. ¡°Now you¡¯re just leering,¡± I said. ¡°I get to leer a bit.¡± For some reason, now that the most of it was over, I was much less nervous. It was Bernie. She was my friend. I posed dramatically, putting an arm behind my head to pop a bicep, and flex my core. We laughed. I did some leering too. ¡°So, what are we doing?¡± I asked. ¡°Well,¡± she said. ¡°I guess we get to actually talk?¡± ¡°That sounds nice,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m gonna want to get drunk. ¡°I could drink.¡± ¡°I reserve the right to ask for a kiss goodnight. Then you should leave before either one of us makes a decision we regret.¡± I didn¡¯t like hearing the word ¡®regret,¡¯ but it wasn¡¯t untrue. I don¡¯t think we are ready for this. If we hooked up after promising not to, I may have earned some complicated feelings about it. ¡°Drinks and conversation?¡± I asked. This plan meant she got to sleep in a literal king¡¯s size bed alone. Which sounded amazing. I was only a little jealous. And I was allowed to feel a little disappointed we didn¡¯t actually have sex. But It was shaping up to be the best date I¡¯d ever had. And certainly the best first date. And I¡¯d already been blessed with memories I will hold dear for a long time. So, hell yeah. Mission already accomplished. Drinks were just the icing on the cake. ¡°I¡¯ll grab the glasses,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯ll see if I can¡¯t rustle up some playing cards,¡± I said. Chapter 32 — Calm Before We¡¯d had too much to drink. She slept in a pile of covers. I exited the room, and gently closed the door behind me, locked it. My fingers slipped the key into my pants pocket. I felt wired, head to toe. It was the most exhilarating night I¡¯d had in a long time. Short of when I got in a car wreck that one time. Or the first day I got here. Or taking that level in Bard. Okay, I''ve had a lot of crazy nights. But this was one of the good ones. More people were out on the deck now. It was deep into the night, and the stars still swirled their milky radiance above. Faint talk, and lamplight spilled from the staircase leading down. With not much else to do, I walked to the railing. Here, also, was Cal the Ranger. ¡°Good evening,¡± I said on approach. Cal just nodded. ¡°Thanks for the assist back there,¡± I continued, referring to the arrow he¡¯d shot during my fight with the pirates. ¡°You are welcome,¡± he said, not turning to regard me. ¡°You doing alright?¡± He turned to look at me finally, and gave me an annoyed smile. ¡°I am doing as well as I can,¡± he said. ¡°The past couple days have been eventful.¡± ¡°Yeah? Caleb not believe you?¡± ¡°Quite the opposite,¡± he said. ¡°He accepted me as his son almost immediately.¡± ¡°What does the Queen think?¡± ¡°She seems to be ignoring me for now.¡± ¡°Probably best,¡± I said. ¡°So that¡¯s good! Isn¡¯t that what you wanted?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know what I wanted,¡± he said, eyes narrow in the lamplight as if he were trying to spy something on the horizon. ¡°But I think I would have preferred condemnation. Or disbelief. I¡¯d gone so long imagining that I would have to fight for his acceptance and¡­ he just accepts me right away?¡± ¡°Easier to be angry, huh?¡± He laughed darkly. ¡°Far easier. Now I have to deal with the fact that I actually like the son of a bitch.¡± ¡°He¡¯s accepting and kind. What an asshole.¡± ¡°Right?¡± My slate buzzed in my pocket. I took it out thinking it was maybe Rachel checking in. It was not.
DM: just pushed an update to the slates. A new application is available. It is called Party Stats, represented by an icon containing a row of three faces. Until party members opt out, it will share your stats with the rest of the party. Those that do not have slates, like NPCs, cannot opt out unless they leave the party. DM: More information can be learned from the tooltips.
Huh. I hadn¡¯t thought about the DM in a while. But that sounded pretty helpful. ¡°It¡¯s like you go through all this time building up this moment in your head, and in some ways it lives up to it, but in others it¡¯s like ¡ª ¡®now what?¡¯¡± Cal stopped talking when he noticed me staring at my slate. ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± I figured it wouldn¡¯t kill him to know. ¡°It¡¯s a magic slate of crystal,¡± I said. ¡°Yeah, I know that. Caleb showed me.¡± ¡°Really? Right away?¡± ¡°Yeah. Likes to show everyone his stats when he¡¯s drunk. Apparently, I¡¯m a temporary member of your party. So, what¡¯s so important?¡± ¡°It¡¯s got a new function now,¡± I said. ¡°What else did he say about it?¡± Cal patted his hair, rubbed his beard, and frowned. ¡°Well, he said it was some kind of magic information mirror. But a lot of the way it conveyed information was in the form of a game. And everyone had statistics in it. Now that I¡¯m in his party, I have stats too.¡± ¡°That¡¯s close enough. Want to see everyone¡¯s stats?¡± ¡°Sure,¡± he said with a shrug. I scanned the party¡¯s stats real quick before handing them over.
Shade the level 6 Assassin Rogue and level 4 Fey Warlock. Hit Points 53, Armor Class 15 (no armor) STR 7 (-2) DEX 20 (+5) CON 12 (+1) INT 13 (+1) WIS 10 (+0) CHA 18 (+4) Items: None Abilities from Rogue: Backstab (+150% additional damage against targets from behind or against targets that are otherwise distracted), Improved Assassinate (350% backstab damage against targets that do not identify you as a threat), Beguiling Allure (double proficiency bonus to charisma checks against the opposite sex) Abilities from Warlock: Fey Sight (see farther and through dim light or darkness), Spiderwalk (walk on vertical surfaces and even upside down), Charm (one use of the charm spell per day), Empowered Leap (triple jump distance). Spellcasting. Skills: Acrobatics, Deception, Investigate, Seduction, Sleight of Hand, Stealth
Bernadette¡¯s stats were mostly the same, but for an ability score increase to her dexterity. This meant that her main stat was the highest it could be for a human. Presumably she could raise it later through magic items or boons. I¡¯d have to ask the DM about it. This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.
Oriana the level 10 Starbound Barbarian. HP 108, AC 17 (unarmored) STR 19 (+4)* DEX 16 (+3) CON 18 (+4) INT 10 (+0) WIS 12 (+1) CHA 9 (-1) Items: Haversack of Holding, Belt of Ogre Strength (sets strength at 19)*, Necklace of Second Chance (grants Fighter¡¯s second chance feature) Abilities: Rage (twice per day, halves all damage received, increases own damage by 25%, grants a 50% boost to athletics skills), unarmored defense (grants a boost to defense equal to constitution and dexterity bonus, and increases movement speed by 50%), Against Destiny (rage uses per day may reset when attempting to thwart fate, uses of rage gained in this way are doubled in potency). Radiant Reach (While raging, melee attacks have their reach extended by five feet). Shimmering Movement (instantly appear anywhere within 120ft of you, once per use of rage). Skills: Athletics, Insight, Sleight of Hand, Social Drinking
Radiant Reach was new. Kind of excited to see how that worked. Next was me. I¡¯d leveled up earlier in the day.
Beznik of the Red Hand the level 4 Mageknight and level 4 War Bard Hit Points 61, Armor Class 11 STR 12 (+1) DEX 12 (+1) CON 14 (+2) INT 13 (+1) WIS 10 (+0) CHA 16 (+3) Items: none Abilities from Fighter: Adrenaline Rush (170% time dilation, double movement speed) and Second Chance (Twice per day heal +25% HP), Sympathetic Weapon (you may place a weapon you have sympathy with in a dimensional pocket space and remove it at will). Spellcasting. Abilities from Bard: Dazzling Strikes (weapons attacks give off sparks, potentially distracting opponents). Inspiring Words (+60% movement speed, 10% instant healing, and +30% extra damage modifier to a party member of your choice). Student of War (extra weapon damage equal to CHA bonus). Spellcasting. Skills: History, Performance, Persuasion, Social Drinking
Nothing new really, outside my dexterity increase. Hopefully I could actually hit something with my new bow. I also picked up the ¡®ward¡¯ spell. It protected either me or an ally from a single attack. A little pricey on spell slots to use, but I think it could really be a game changer. Next was Caleb. A little disappointed he didn¡¯t have any of his magic weapons equipped, but his stats were impressive enough.
King Caleb the level 18 Paladin of Honor HP 220, AC 12 STR 20 (+5) DEX 14 (+2) CON 18 (+4) INT 13 (+1) WIS 11 (+0) CHA 16 (+3) Items: Ring of Faithfulness (proof of marriage, effects hidden) Abilities: Aura of Protection (allies within 100 ft of you, receive 90% less damage). Aura of Honor (allies within 30 ft of you cannot receive critical hits). Command Duel (spells that compel a creature to fight you have increased effectiveness). Healing Hands (you have a pool of hit points you may heal by touch equal to your own hit points). Impeachable Honor (you cannot be charmed, stunned, or or put to sleep). Shining Weapon (an extra 200% damage from melee strikes, increase this damage twice for evil creatures). Spellcasting. Skills: Athletics, Intimidation, Medicine, Persuasion, Seduction Boons: Boon of Ability Protection (your stats cannot be lowered through magical means).
My big takeaway from this is that the safest place to be in a fight was right next to him. His auras were powerful. And his stats were such that he¡¯d be a serious threat even unarmored. Last was Cal¡¯s stats.
Caleb Jr. the level 7 Monster Hunter Ranger Hit Points 60, Armor Class 14 (leather armor) STR 13 (+1) DEX 16 (+3) CON 14 (+2) INT 12 (+1) WIS 13 (+1) CHA 10 (+0) Items: Leather Armor. Abilities: Honed Senses (gains a bonus to find and track enemies). Hunt Evil (Monstrous creatures receive 130% extra damage while perceived). Keen archery (gains a bonus 100% damage to ranged attacks). Skills: Acrobatics, Perception, Survival
They were respectable. After handing Cal the slate, I heard him say, ¡°Caleb Junior? What the hell does that mean?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I admitted. ¡°That¡¯s not your name?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not a junior! If anything my last name should be Afon! Not his.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t write this,¡± I argued. ¡°Who did?¡± he asked. I just shrugged to avoid lying. I was still buzzing from all the alcohol, and the fact that I got to touch a girl¡¯s boobs tonight, so it took me a while to realize that the next couple of days was going to be a lot of work. The fun was over, for now. We had to prepare for some kind of attack, and we had no idea what it was, how large the scale, or from what direction it would come. Cal was part of the group now, but did he even want to be? What if he was a weak link? ¡°What do you think about being part of the group?¡± I asked. ¡°We took you in to fight a dragon. Now you¡¯re just here. Do you even want to be?¡± ¡°I do,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯ve seen Caleb¡¯s kingdom. It¡¯s beautiful. People are happy and safe. I¡¯m not sure I agree with how he maintains it, or even that we wouldn¡¯t be happier without any kingdoms at all. But then I hear about what happened to the people in the Kingswood, how the monsters overran them. And I want to make sure it doesn¡¯t happen here. If that means I must protect a goodly tyrant, then so be it.¡± ¡°So you¡¯re with us for now?¡± ¡°For now.¡± ¡°And this isn¡¯t just an excuse to get to know your dad?¡± ¡°It¡¯s certainly an excuse to get to know the King. But he is a good man. And he is doing a worthwhile project.¡± ¡°Good enough for me,¡± I said. I left him to his thoughts, and spent the next couple of hours staring at the stars in silence, holding close the memory of Bernadette under me, and the way her tongue swept across the back of my teeth. If I had nothing else, I had that. I eventually headed down into the hold to get some sleep in a hammock. On the way, I passed the King and Queen asleep together. She lay on his massive chest, and he on the hammock, and for a moment she didn¡¯t look like a hundreds of years old elven queen. She just looked like a woman. Two royal guards, a man and a woman, passed a bottle of coffee between them as they talked quietly, seeking to keep the other awake while their charges slept. I also saw Brealyn asleep against Rachel¡¯s shoulder, slate still in hand. In fiction and in games there was this whole thing about elven trances. In this world, they just slept, like the rest of us. Though maybe they needed less of it than we did. Rachel¡¯s eyes snapped open as I passed. She extricated herself, and grabbed me by the arm. ¡°Everything okay?¡± she asked, voice low. Braelyn didn¡¯t stir. ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°What are you doing down¡ª¡± ¡°We hooked up, but not like, all the way.¡± ¡°Ah. Too much pressure for a first date?¡± ¡°Yeah. We had fun though.¡± ¡°I bet,¡± she replied, waggling her eyebrows. I slapped her shoulder lightly. ¡°Get some sleep,¡± she said, ¡°we¡¯re gonna need to be sharp tomorrow.¡± ¡°Right,¡± I said. ¡°Wait, do we have a plan for tomorrow?¡± ¡°All the queen¡¯s spies and all our luck and we only just managed to stop Mia, but we still don¡¯t know what¡¯s gonna happen at the ball.¡± ¡°So, no plan?¡± ¡°The plan is to protect Caleb, and his sons at all costs. Mark will be there. If we have to, he can teleport up to 8 people out at a time before he runs out of spell slots.¡± ¡°We¡¯re essentially using Caleb as bait?¡± ¡°No. Maybe? Caleb won¡¯t cancel the ball for anything. He¡¯s stubborn like that.¡± ¡°Well, this didn¡¯t reassure me at all.¡± ¡°What can we do?¡± I said goodnight again. Rachel fished a flask out of her backpack. I nodded to her as I settled in. She drank and gazed at Braelyn, eyes dark with some emotion I was too tired, or stupid to read. I¡¯d have to ask her about it later. I slept, and I dreamed of dragons. Chapter 33 — The Storm In my dream, I¡¯m a gnome girl again. It¡¯s not jarring, because it¡¯s a dream. In a dream I could be anyone. I have my hair tied back, and I¡¯m working on a new potion. In my head, it¡¯s my most devious concoction yet. I hope I don¡¯t have to use it. We¡¯re on the road. I look at my new friends, and my heart swells. The brave orc, the heroic elven bartender, her sister the sniper, the human wizard, we all adventure across the forest quelling evil. And there is nobody I¡¯d rather do it with than them. But tonight, tonight we face a dragon. The wizard doesn¡¯t look anything like the boy I think about from time to time. But he¡¯s still very hansdom, if a little simple. He treats this whole endeavor like it¡¯s a game. But it¡¯s not a game. He shows me his magic crystal slate, the way it glows, it''s entrancing. He says that he¡¯s here to find others like him. I don¡¯t wonder much about what this means. It all goes to shit. The dragon¡¯s red scaled face takes up my whole vision. It feels like it¡¯s a mile wide. His voice rumbles, rattling the coins that make up his bed. He says ¡®why should I fight for anyone? These goblins have never bothered me¡¯ and ¡®a kingdom is just a little bird nest with eggs waiting to be plucked, not something to bargain with.¡¯ Then the dragon moves faster than I thought possible. His jaws close down on the elven sniper, and suddenly she is gone. But for one lone boot, foot still intact, you would never know she had ever been there. Then we run. Fire burns hot at our backs. I toss a potion behind me that explodes into a wall of ice. It buys us precious seconds. Later. A rematch. The dragon curls around the palace tower. Smoke darkens the sky. I look to the human wizard. I look to the elven bartender. They look back with determination. We can do this. We have to. Who else would save us, but ourselves? I woke up to the sound of rain, the details of my dream fading fast. I quickly jotted them down in the notes app on my slate. The sun shone dimly through the portholes. Everyone dashed busily here and there to get the ship ready to dock. The morning rushed by so quickly, I could barely recognize what was going on. We were shoved into a carriage ¡ª I only got a little bit wet from the drizzle. This time I got to ride with Bernie, but Cal was there too so we kept our hands to ourselves. Then, I was dunked into a cold bath as soon as I got to the castle. A man named Vinter scrubbed me clean of the sweat, and saltwater, and grime. He was not gentle, but I was grateful. Then it was into fine clothes. All the while Ara¡¯alyne, Braelyn¡¯s assistant, droned on about the important people I¡¯d meet at the party. I was rushed into a room with Braelyn, Rachel, Bernie, Cal, and Mark for lunch. On the table were sandwiches, tea, and buttery pastries. It was fantastic. Mark, sipping tea as he paced, looked much like I remembered him. A man in his late thirties, he had a bit of male pattern baldness, but had kept very trim, his lanky frame well displayed by his shimmering blue robes. A huge gaudy red scarf, and tight leather belt cinched in his waist. A thin, patchy bit of stubble covered his chin, and crows feet crinkled around his pale green eyes. When I got there, Rachel, Bernie, and Braelyn were already embroiled in a heated discussion about the source of Caleb¡¯s Strife Among the Stars, and a certain divisive character in particular. ¡°Look,¡± Rachel said as I walked in, ¡°he was made specifically because JJ was accessing his greatest fears. As a kid his greatest fear was ¡®what if my dad was evil.¡¯ But as an adult it¡¯s ¡®what if despite my best intentions, my son was evil.¡¯¡± ¡°Yeah. And the evil makes him kinda hot,¡± Bernie said. ¡°I mean he¡¯s a petulant, whiney nepo-baby,¡± Rachel said, ¡°who has all the opportunity in the world to do the right thing, and chose not to.¡± ¡°Right, and then I get to cure him with my magic vagina,¡± Bernie countered. ¡°Abusive men are real,¡± Braelyn said, ¡°It¡¯s a bizarre fantasy.¡± ¡°The bad men aren¡¯t the fantasy,¡± Bernie explained. ¡°They¡¯re common. But being able to change them, or them wanting to change, that¡¯s the fantasy.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t get it,¡± I said, grabbing a pastry. I wasn¡¯t sure I could handle anything heavier. Too nervous. ¡°That tracks,¡± Bernie said, with a laugh. The other girls laughed too. ¡°And I can''t believe all the hubbub over Caleb¡¯s fanfiction,¡± Mark said. I felt my blood pressure rise. ¡°It¡¯s a truly transformative creative pastiche Mark,¡± I replied. Mark scrunched up his face in annoyance. ¡°I don¡¯t get it either,¡± Cal said. ¡°Thank you!¡± Mark said with a laugh. ¡°People need something to occupy their days that isn¡¯t misery, of course they¡¯d love Strife,¡± Rachel said. ¡°What do you even do in your tower all day?¡± I asked, unable to stop myself. ¡°Ah, working on important mystical projects,¡± he replied. ¡°And teaching the next generation of wizards.¡± His hands went into his pocket and he pulled out a slate, ¡°Oh, shoot! Here is one now. Give me a moment.¡± As he typed away on his slate, I turned to Braelyn. ¡°How are preparations for Caleb¡¯s security detail?¡± I asked. ¡°They¡¯re already at the Opera House, going over final steps. We¡¯ll have elven snipers in the rafters, and knights at every entrance and exit. Plus, we¡¯ll be there too.¡± ¡°What about Caleb¡¯s sons?¡± I asked. ¡°They have the finest weapons, armor, and training already. And Mark did us the favor of procuring a teleportation scroll in case he is unable to cast one.¡± ¡°You can¡¯t cast one yourself?¡± I asked. Braelyn stiffened, and adjusted her glasses. ¡°I am quite proficient with a vast array of magical spells, but that particular spell is in an area of study that happens to be outside my purview.¡± ¡°She means,¡± Mark said, pocketing his slate, ¡°that she spends as much time on castle politics as she does magical research. Unlike her, my status as a recluse affords me a bunch more time for the full spectrum of magical study.¡± ¡°There is that,¡± Braelyn said, cutting a sly smile to Mark. She seemed to be taking the insult in stride, but I was reminded why nobody liked Mark. It was the smug superiority. And the man could use some tact. ¡°I gotta run,¡± Bernie cut in. She smiled at me. ¡°As much as I¡¯d love to stick around, I should see if I can¡¯t scoop a last minute clue as to where the attack will come from.¡± ¡°The Elven Delegation still sequestered in the embassy?¡± ¡°For now,¡± she said. ¡°But someone is bound to leave a window open.¡± ¡°Be careful,¡± I pleaded. ¡°I will,¡± she said. Bernadette kissed me on the cheek, and left. ¡°I should leave too,¡± Rachel said. Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more. And suddenly, lunch was over. I hardly remember the rest of the day, but I was shoved into my shiny new armor ¡ª breastplate, greaves, and bracers over full length chainmail. It was light and easy to move in, but a little warm and stuffy. Not bad in the cold and drafty castle though. The clouds hung heavy out the window, and the rain refused to let up. Then a quick carriage ride, and I was at the Opera House. They ushered me in through a side entrance, past three checkpoints, and into the brand new theater. I wished I was able to remember the play. The music was nice, and fights were good, but I found it hard to concentrate. I think there was some big twist with the main character¡¯s heritage? After, I followed the crowd into the ballroom. It was filled with people. The whole place shimmered with light from a series of chandeliers at the edges of the room. The ceiling was a dome that sat on a ring of colored stained glass windows that faintly glowed with the last trace of the day. Candelabras reached above the folk that mingled, and talked in low voices, and sent long shadows in their wake. It was too dark. And the rain too loud. I had a sick feeling in my stomach. I found Rachel. She didn¡¯t wear a dress, but a beautiful black suit. Her magic belt complemented it well. ¡°Where¡¯s Caleb?¡± I asked. Rachel grabbed my arm, and directed me across the ballroom to a group of people. I noticed Braelyn first, wrapped in a beautiful green gown that complimented her elven physique well. She talked to a young man in plate armor. Next to him was a boy in a pale blue cloak and dark brown leathers. ¡°Breznik,¡± Braelyn said upon seeing me, ¡°these are Princes of the Blade,¡± she then motioned to first the young man in plate, then the boy in leathers, ¡°my Lords Pelas, and Fala¡¯alander.¡± Caleb¡¯s sons. The youngest was dressed as an elven ranger. I wondered what Cal thought about that. The elder one was the one who had rushed back to see his wife. Word around the castle was that the duchess was stable, but not yet recovered. He can¡¯t have been taking this well, but here he was. ¡°Just Fala,¡± the young one said, smiling brightly. ¡°Of course,¡± I said. ¡°Nice to finally meet you.¡± I shook his hand and then the other¡¯s. ¡°And Pelas, I¡¯ve heard much about you.¡± Pelas smiled curtly, and his handshake was firm. In truth, I hadn¡¯t heard much about him at all. Xander was the eldest, and favored son. Some word around the castle was that Pelas had taken to Paladin training well, but that was only in relation to Xander, who apparently excelled in the extreme. People saw much of his father in Xander. I imagined it was hard to stand out in this family. ¡°I¡¯m sure you have,¡± he said rotely. ¡°I heard that I have you to thank for the capture of my wife¡¯s poisoner. I am grateful for it.¡± That¡¯s right. Caleb had kept the involvement of Princess Mia hush hush. Apparently even from his own sons. They¡¯d pinned the poisoning solely on the actor Benoit. ¡°Eh,¡± I waved his complement off, ¡°I mostly just succeeded in getting captured. It was all your dad.¡± ¡°Ah, then I rescind my thanks,¡± he said. I laughed, nervously. Pelas smiled grimly. ¡°What did you think about the play?¡± Fala interjected. We talked about the play for a bit. The shinesword fights were a hit with just about everyone. Thunder rumbled behind the conversation. Xander approached. The conversation didn¡¯t die, but his brothers immediately gave him space to talk. If there was any resentment for his place in the family, it didn¡¯t show. Though only a few inches taller than me, Xander stood as if a giant. His armor gleamed black and gold in the candlelight. That could be where the Black Knight appellate had come from. Or I guess they could have been referring to his skin color. He smiled in a way that told me he knew how much he looked like his father. My brain buzzed with static. Xander said things, but I hardly heard them. I knew something was about to go very wrong. But what was I supposed to do? Bernadette was at my arm, she took it into hers. ¡°Hey,¡± she said. ¡°Hey,¡± I responded. She wore her silksteel armor, but had gussied it up with a smart vest and a half cape. She had her daggers here and there, but only her best ones. Fascinator was pinned to her cape. She looked nice, but not as nice as our date last night. Somehow, that made the memory of it better. Her smile, and her touch seeped the tension from me. ¡°You okay?¡± she whispered. ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± I said. ¡°You look nice.¡± ¡°Of course I do. I like your suit. The one last night was better.¡± ¡°Thanks,¡± I said. ¡°Learn anything?¡± ¡°Nothing actionable,¡± she replied curtly, switching into business mode. ¡°They¡¯re looking for us,¡± Bernie¡¯s eyes scanned the crowd as she talked. ¡°But if they were planning something for tonight, I¡¯d expect chatter about it. Or at least less elven soldiers at the embassy, meaning they weren''t off talking somewhere else. There were lots of elves there. This isn¡¯t adding up.¡± I gave an indistinct noise. Braelyn approached, and Bernie filled her in too. ¡°This is disquieting,¡± the elven woman said. ¡°Right,¡± I said. ¡°Wait. You hear that?¡± Bernie asked. ¡°Hear what?¡± I answered. ¡°The rain.¡± ¡°What rain?¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± she said, ¡°that¡¯s what I meant. The rain stopped.¡± A gasp shuddered through the crowd. I turned to see the commotion. Men and women gave her a wide berth, and she parted them as she approached. ¡°Where¡¯s Caleb?¡± she asked. I was the first to answer. ¡°What the hell are you doing here?¡± ¡°Did I miss the play?¡± Sofia asked. She wore a stunning black dress that scintillated like a beetle''s wing, with gloves that went up to her mid bicep. Her pale white skin shone from her shoulders and neck. Her hair was a beautiful, intricate silver plait down her back. Damn, she had a nice clavicle. ¡°Don¡¯t do this,¡± I pleaded. ¡°Do what?¡± she asked, cool blue eyes smiling mischievously. ¡°What did these people ever do to you?¡± ¡°Who is this?¡± Pelas asked. ¡°The Sorceress,¡± Xander said. ¡°Dad¡¯s nemesis?¡± Fala asked. ¡°The one that ¡ª¡± Pelas drew his sword, and stepped a single step toward Sofia. ¡°Don¡¯t!¡± I heard myself shout. Sofia¡¯s eyes flashed with purple fire, and she snapped her fingers. Pelas¡¯s back arched in pain, he dropped his sword, and he seemed to lock up. His face contorted. ¡°Rude,¡± she admonished. Caleb, and Queen Cerelia walked out of the crowd. So too, did an armored Captain Wen. ¡°He didn¡¯t mean ¡ª¡± I started to say. ¡°I know what he meant,¡± Sofia said, cutting me off. ¡°What did these people ever do to you?¡± I asked. ¡°They refuse to submit to the will of the Queen.¡± ¡°You mean, they refuse to submit to you,¡± Bernadette accused. ¡°What do you mean?¡± I asked, but I already knew the answer as soon as I asked it. ¡°This is Queen Tenenbria,¡± Xander announced. Sofia¡¯s smile was wider than I had ever seen her smile. She grabbed her skirts, and did a tiny little curtsy. ¡°Holy shit,¡± Rachel said. ¡°It finally makes sense.¡± Caleb¡¯s hand was on the sword at his back, but so too was Captain Wen¡¯s on her sword. Nobody made a move yet. It did make sense. Suddenly the reason why Caleb and Queen Tenenbria had been at war for such a long time was crystal clear. Caleb couldn¡¯t kill Sofia. Whatever had happened between them, he couldn¡¯t just kill her. And if he did, would we be able to go home? Wait. No he could. The quest ¡ª the quest the DM had written in our slates. We had to kill the Queen of Darkness. Sofia was the Queen of Darkness. I couldn¡¯t do that. Could I? And Caleb had been playing this game, this game of kings and knights, and Sofia was playing her own game, and neither of them could make a move on each other directly. They¡¯d been at war for thirty years. Except, now she was here. Mark, fucking Mark, circled the crowd, inching closer to us. I wondered if he knew all of this already. Had Caleb told him? ¡°You don¡¯t have to do this,¡± I said again. ¡°These people aren¡¯t soldiers. They¡¯re just here for a show.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± Sofia replied darkly, ¡°but the show hasn¡¯t even started yet.¡± Two more knights of the word stepped out of the crowd. How had they gotten here? Magic? Probably magic. Caleb¡¯s knights, I could tell by the pale blue capes, started to line up next to him. Good. When shit popped off, his aura could support them. How do I keep this from popping off? Should I try charming her? ¡°You want to be my friend,¡± I said, waving my hand for the somatic component. Sofia¡¯s laughter rang out. ¡°A charm spell?¡± she asked. ¡°Oh Zachary, you¡¯re so cute.¡± Then, it did indeed pop off. Bernadette pulled Fascinator, her cape fluttering to the ground, and it grew to its full size. Sofia flew up half a foot and back several feet, just outside the reach of Bernie¡¯s swipe. Captain Wen yelled, and drew her sword. Caleb drew his, and they immediately clashed. Small, two foot wide explosions rippled across the floor. Guards surged in. Sofia licked her index finger. She flicked her wrist, and a sword very much like the one she had shown me that night at the lake appeared in her hand in a flash of purple flame. Skeletons crawled from the holes in the floors. They all had weapons. Immediately, they set upon the party guests, blood flying. The guards fought back. There just wasn¡¯t enough of them. Bodies began to pile up by the second. Sofia pulled a mote of purple fire from her sword, and she was just about to launch it, when it dissipated. Mark held his hand in the air, evidence of his counterspell. Sofia flew higher. I drew my sword, Redeemer, and cut the head from a skeleton. Pelas stood next to me, finally free from the paralyzing spell, his sword in his hands. Me, Rachel, and Bernadette put one of Caleb¡¯s kids to each of our sides. The skeletons kept coming. We needed to hold them off until Mark or Braelyn could get that teleportation circle up. How the hell were we going to do that? We seemed royally screwed. Chapter 34 — Ballroom Melee One hundred skeletons with axes leapt from the floor simultaneously. Another hundred followed. Then two hundred after that. And more and more. It was good that Caleb¡¯s kids could fight because it was everything we had just to keep from being overwhelmed. There were no choke points like last time ¡ª just an open ballroom intermixed with civilians. Guards tried to get them escorted into the side halls or out the doors, but the people toward the center, closest to the fighting, couldn''t get out in time. They fought with their hands, with improvised weapons like candlesticks. Those that couldn¡¯t, were cut down. It was chaos. It was misery. Our spellcasters ¡ª Braelyn, Mark, Ara¡¯alyne, and Queen Cerelia ¡ª couldn¡¯t drop big spells on the skeletons without hurting innocents, and spent most of their time trying to keep Sofia occupied. She seemed like she was barely trying. Four powerful spellcasters, and they were just able to keep her attention. Sofia sent large gouts of dark fire at civilians, killing them. The dead rose, wrapped in flame, to fight for her. She didn¡¯t want to kill us. If she had, she¡¯d be sending the dark flame at me. No, she wanted to destroy everything Caleb had built first. Where did this hate come from? I had no time to think about that. Braelyn had Rachel¡¯s bag, and she¡¯d tossed me a shield. Good thing too, because it was all I had just to keep from getting stabbed or pummeled many times over. As long as I could keep the blows away from my face, my armor was doing a decent job protecting me from the worst of it. I tossed a low level Bubble spell over Braelyn, knowing that she needed the AC increase. I couldn¡¯t be reactive. I had to bring everything I had to the skeletons to keep them off of us. I lashed out with my shield, and hacked with Redeemer. I swung one arm then the other a hundred times over. Fast, faster, as fast as I could. Always moving, always keeping the worst of them in front of me, and one of his kids at my side. Eventually we were able to make it close to Caleb¡¯s line. ¡°Hold fast!¡± he yelled, sword clanging against Captain Wen¡¯s. He¡¯d wrangled his forces into a U shape. Civilians could get around them and to the exit, but skeletons caught on their swords and spears. It wouldn¡¯t last. They were doomed. Caleb could keep Wen¡¯s attention but she had two other knights with her that were methodically, and systematically taking his knights down one by one. The skeletons became a sea of glowing red. I sent out inspiring words to Bernie, then to Queen Cerelia. The Queen¡¯s hands moved faster. She ducked behind Caleb and completed her spell. A flock of birds, first a dozen, then a hundred, swirled above her. Leaves and thorny twigs fell from their wings. She pointed at the skeletons and the birds dive bombed them all at once, exploding into a mess of thorns where they hit, wrapping skeletons, and tearing some apart where they stood. Bernie leapt into the air and collided into the back of a white knight, stabbing through the gaps in his armor, first one, then another, then another. He fell soon after. We were beginning to turn the tide. Braelyn stopped counterspelling for a moment, just long enough, to send a wave of energy at Captain Wen. She launched across the ballroom. Mark finally got a spell off. A translucent bubble, a dome of force, encircled the party. Only a dozen or so skeletons remained. We mopped them up. Outside the bubble there were no more good guys. Any civilians that didn¡¯t escape were now dead and under Sofia¡¯s control. A thousand or more skeletons, a sea of them, waited for the bubble to drop. A dozen hit the bubble ineffectively. ¡°How long is this up?¡± I asked Mark. Mark sighed, wiped his brow and said, ¡°she can burn through it with a high spell slot. So, she could drop it at any moment.¡± ¡°Make the circle,¡± Caleb said. ¡°So demanding,¡± Mark said. ¡°Now,¡± Caleb urged. Mark swept his arms in wide gestures and a symbol began drawing itself in glowing lines on the floor. ¡°I¡¯m staying here,¡± Pelas said. Caleb grabbed him by the gorget and pulled him close. ¡°Your mother needs you.¡± ¡°I¡¯m hardly leaving,¡± Queen Cerelia said. Caleb¡¯s eyes snapped to her. He didn¡¯t need to say anything. She saw his face. ¡°There will be no discussion,¡± he said. ¡°My sons go with the queen to safety. Ara¡¯alyne, and Sir Jameson go with them. If they refuse,¡± here he pointed to two of his knights, ¡°Uther and Grosnan will escort them. Xander?¡± ¡°Yes, father?¡± ¡°You are the eldest Prince. You will make sure your brothers and mother are safe.¡± ¡°I will.¡± The two knights named, stepped close to the Queen. And Xander put his hand on her shoulder. ¡°Mark?¡± ¡°It¡¯s finished.¡± Caleb gave Cerelia a passionate, if brief, kiss. ¡°Do it,¡± he said. The teleportation circle flashed. Pelas pushed a knight out of the way, grabbed another, and shoved him into place at the last second. Queen Cerelia¡¯s scream was cut off, and she vanished alongside Fala and Xander and the rest. ¡°You insolent, foolish boy,¡± Caleb admonished. ¡°One of us needs to watch your back,¡± he said. ¡°Keep your sword up,¡± Caleb said. Then, pointing his sword at the position of Pelas¡¯s hands continued with, ¡°and not too tight on the grip.¡± ¡°Yes, father,¡± Pelas said. Sofia laughed from her position floating above her army. The two white armored Knights of the Word stood at the head of the horde. Captain Wen¡¯s face was unreadable, but the other was furious. I looked at the force that was with us in the bubble. After the six or seven knights I didn¡¯t know, it was just us and Caleb¡¯s people.If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. The Kill Crew was here, me Bernie, Rachel, and now Cal. He had that axe we¡¯d gotten off the ogre through his belt. He had less than a dozen arrows in his quiver. Rachel growled and slapped her own face, trying to keep her rage lasting. Bernie¡¯s eyes searched for hidden threats. Caleb¡¯s master of arms, Lieutenant Gru¡¯ulna, fought with us. He had a massive axe in one hand and a sword in the other. Braelyn was next to him, blood pouring from a nasty head wound. I hit her with a Heal Light Wounds. Pelas and his father were up front, both with massive greatswords. The king looked resplendent in his stylized lion regalia. Pelas¡¯s armor seemed rather plain in comparison. Oh, and Mark was there too, but who knows how effective he¡¯d be. All together, it was less than a score of our men versus over a thousand skeletons. More climbed from the holes in the floor by the second. The dead ballgoers, the zombies, had black fire that poured from their eyes. There was no menace from the undead, just a cold countenance of subservience. The skeletons were well equipped. I grabbed Bernadette¡¯s elbow, and led her to a position behind the King and next to Gru¡¯ulna. Upon seeing who we were fighting beside, she gave me a nod. I pulled the monocle out of my pocket, and shoved it on, real quick. The information I got was fairly unsurprising. Mark was level 16. Pelas was level 8. Captain Wen was only five skull and crossbones now. The white night next to her was two skull and crossbones. I quickly looked to Sofia. The stats I got were more detailed than I expected. The monocle read: Inara the level 32 Sorceress Queen, HP 296, CON 26, STR 12, Voidplague Ability. So, strength was her weakness. Not sure how we could exploit that, what with her ability to fly and all, but maybe we could somehow pin her down? ¡°All this time, and I bet you don¡¯t even remember me,¡± the white knight said. Unlike Captain Wen, who had a huge two handed sword, this knight had a sword and shield. ¡°I remember you, Justinian,¡± Caleb said solemnly. ¡°And I am sorry for what you must have gone through.¡± ¡°¡®What I must have gone through?¡¯¡± Justinian responded mockingly. ¡°You have no idea, do you? She took me in immediately. When you refused to call a retreat, and then left us to die, the Queen, the real Queen, took us in, no questions asked. And when she bid that I come with Captain Wen, I jumped at the chance.¡± So, that was it, huh? Caleb refused to call for retreat. That was the unspoken word. Well, shit. ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± Caleb said. ¡°Not yet,¡± he said. ¡°Not until I give you what you¡¯re owed.¡± ¡°That¡¯s enough,¡± Captain Wen said. ¡°We must give him a chance to surrender.¡± ¡°Fuck that,¡± Pelas said. ¡°My son is right,¡± Caleb said. ¡°A King does not yield.¡± ¡°So be it,¡± Captain Wen said, a hint of glee in her voice. ¡°Do you see, Caleb?¡± Sofia¡¯s voice called from on high. ¡°Do you see the face of true loyalty? This is what a real sovereign inspires in her people.¡± ¡°All I see are the dead, and the strings of your puppets. And here,¡± he glanced at his massive two handed sword, ¡°I got just the thing to cut them free.¡± ¡°Cute,¡± Sofia said. She pointed a finger at us and a ray of black energy hit the bubble. In a rush, a ring of embers spread across the bubble of force, like a hard drag on a cigarette. It burst. Suddenly, there was nothing holding back the horde. ¡°Show them no fear!¡± Caleb yelled. The horde rushed in. Caleb locked swords with Captain Wen. Pelas swung at Justinian. That left the rest of them to us. We took the mob to the left of Caleb. I¡¯d sparred with Gru¡¯ulna, so I knew his fighting style. He came in with huge, big swings, then brought his weapons in close after a swing, so I had space to jump in and keep them from exploiting those moments. Bernie hung back and made sure none of them got us from behind. Rachel did her hulk smash thing a little further up, to the right of Caleb, keeping the pressure off the line of knights there. Mark and Braelyn were just able to keep the pressure on Sofia, tossing lightning and fire and everything they had at her to keep us from getting torched. Redeemer sliced through bone and ceremonial armor very easily. And now that we were in the light of Caleb¡¯s aura, I barely felt their blows as anything more than getting hit with a paintball, jarring, but hardly painful in the moment. It was kind of wild. I felt like I could do this forever, fight at his side. A slash from a rusty sword swooped in and I parried it easily. My swordpoint crushed through its eye socket. It cumbled. Another took its place. The shield turned away its blow and I lopped its head from its shoulders. A zombie grabbed my leg. Bernie stuck her blade through its spine and it went limp. We were doing well! They just kept coming. Rachel took a sword through her chest. ¡°Rachel, I need you!¡± She kicked the skeleton across the room. I lopped the head off another skeleton. Two more stepped in to take his place. Mark waved his hand and Captain Wen¡¯s arms stuck to her sides as if she¡¯d been grabbed by an invisible hand, then she rocketed through the air and out a window. Sofia snarled and struck him with a ray of blackness. Mark fell. I rushed to his side. The line of knights circled us to give me space. I hit him with a Heal Light Wounds. His eyes snapped open. ¡°Your healing spells itch,¡± he said after coughing up blood. ¡°I¡¯m the best you got,¡± I muttered. ¡°Are you okay?¡± Mark patted his clothes, tried to stand but fell. I caught him. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± I asked. ¡°She cursed me,¡± he said. ¡°Shit.¡± ¡°I have to return to the tower,¡± he said. ¡°No you aren¡¯t,¡± I growled. ¡°I can¡¯t fight like this,¡± he said. ¡°Caleb!¡± I yelled. Pelas stepped into the circle. Caleb must be fighting that last white knight. ¡°I can remove a curse,¡± he said. ¡°Do it.¡± Pelas put his hands on Mark, and they glowed. Mark stood straighter. Pelas dashed back to his father. ¡°You¡¯re the only thing standing between us, and joining her army of the dead.¡± ¡°Of course,¡± Mark said. I cast Bless on him and two other knights. ¡°Stay on his ass, and make sure he can just focus on the Sorceress,¡± I said to them. We continued the fight. My sword swings felt heavier, my arms burning, my breathing ragged, but I hacked at them with everything I had. We had to win the day. Caleb raised his sword in the air. He burned brighter. When the light of his aura hit me I felt the pain drain from my limbs. I felt stronger. He¡¯d cast a spell. Until this moment, I had never known what it was like to fight in the company of heroes, to be a hero too. This was true evil we faced, and they stood no match for us. Suddenly, we began to chew through the horde. Bernadette was a panther, leaping six feet into the air, lopping a skeleton¡¯s head from its neck, landing on her feet then leaping back into the air toward another, spinning and twisting above blades always just too slow to reach her. Rachel battered them apart with her fists, punching through the ribs of one, then bursting the skull of another, moving ever forward, steady on her feet. The knights next to me swung their swords with renewed vigor. I didn¡¯t need to heal because we were winning. Pelas locked blades with Justinian. Caleb walked toward Sofia. ¡°It is over now, Sofie. Your dark powers are no match for the light of the righteous.¡± Sofia tossed a ball of fire first at Mark, to keep him on his toes. He absorbed it with some kind of amulet. Then she threw fire at Caleb, who batted it aside with his sword easily. Sofia screamed in rage and frustration. Justinian threw his sword into the floor, and cast a spell from a scroll. A wall of ice bisected the room. We cut down the remaining skeletons, then had some room to breathe. ¡°What are they doing?¡± I asked Mark. ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± he said. Dark shapes moved behind the semi-translucent ice. I could see zombies fall to the ground as the fire was pulled from their bodies. ¡°She¡¯s doing something,¡± I said. ¡°She¡¯s making a void demon,¡± Mark said with dawning horror. ¡°Why?¡± I asked. ¡°I made her angry,¡± Caleb admitted. ¡°How?¡± I asked. ¡°If I knew, we wouldn¡¯t still be doing this!¡± he said. ¡°Counterspell it!¡± Bernadette yelled. ¡°I can¡¯t see her! And even if I could,¡± Mark explained. ¡°If I use a spell slot of this level, we won¡¯t be able to teleport.¡± ¡°Get ready!¡± Caleb warned. The ice exploded as a ten foot tall monster made of spikes and inky blackness surged through it. Caleb met it head on. More holes in the ice appeared where skeletons caved it in. Well, at least we had some choke points. It seemed as if the fight had only begun. Chapter 35 — Retreat and Regroup The void demon seemed part fire and smoke, part leather and bone. Its posture jutted awkwardly like a lame faun; it stumbled and limped. Despite all that, the power it held sent a chill down my spine. Its claws tore through the marble floor like paper. An errant swipe toppled a pilar. Caleb didn¡¯t flinch. So neither did we. Each swing of his sword was an arc of brilliant light that filled me with courage. But it wasn¡¯t sustainable. Each time we put a man in front of a hole in the ice wall, another hole appeared. The cemeteries of Swordfall had plenty of monsters to give. As good as we were, it just wasn¡¯t sustainable. I had already cast most of my spells. I held onto less than four spell slots. I put my back to Mark and worked to keep him from being swarmed. He mostly stuck to his at-will spells sending bolts of fire this way and that. ¡°Does she ever run out of spell slots?¡± I asked him. Mark sent a wave of fire into the ranks of the mob in front of us. ¡°No!¡± ¡°What do you mean ¡®no?¡¯¡± I asked with incredulity. ¡°I mean, she has some kind of ability to draw spell slots from the minions she makes. She doesn¡¯t run out.¡± ¡°We¡¯re fucked!¡± I said. ¡°Yeah, no shit!¡± he replied. ¡°You got to convince him to run.¡± I looked to Caleb. He cut the demon in half. I ran to him. ¡°We have to fall back!¡± I said. ¡°Never,¡± he replied. ¡°We will never yield.¡± ¡°I¡¯m running out of spells! And there is no end to them!¡± I lopped the head from a skeleton, then continued, ¡°she¡¯s just going to make more!¡± Caleb roared in frustration, and sent a beam of light from his sword that burned a line of undead, some twenty or thirty of them, to cinders. More filed into their place, walking through the ashes of their peers like drifting snow. ¡°How many more of those do you have?¡± I asked. ¡°Like that? Two.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not enough!¡± The roof of the ballroom cumbled as massive claws the size of longswords peeled through the brick and concrete. The black scaled face of a dragon, purple fire pouring from its eye sockets, its jaws large enough to crush a sedan, poked through the wreckage. ¡°That¡¯s a dragon!¡± I yelled at Caleb. He just nodded. ¡°Fall back!¡± he yelled. ¡°To the exit!¡± We¡¯d done a good job keeping the enemy in front of us, so the retreat was immediate. We ran pell mell for the exit. Dashing through the hall, I found that it was just me and the Kill Crew. The side halls wound this way and that, and so we lost each other. More skeletons appeared. We cut them down, and soon we were out on the street. The city was in chaos. Everywhere buildings burned. Guards rushed this way and that without any seeming order. At the end of the street a mob fought more undead. I glanced at the brand new Opera House. The body of the dragon curled around the domed roof, its face buried in the rubble like a dog eating at a birthday cake. It belched purple fire inside. The windows and stained glass glowed. Then they exploded. I ducked my head as glass rained down. When I finally looked up, I saw that Caleb and his people had found us. Most of them. One of the knights hadn¡¯t made it out. That brought Caleb¡¯s crew to five, including his son. ¡°Those men need us!¡± he said, pointing to the mob. We ran to them. Without much effort, we put down the skeletons, then led the mob back several blocks, away from the Opera House, and away from Sofia and her dragon. Caleb set them to build a barricade, while the rest of us caught our breath. ¡°Who are you guys?¡± I asked a woman in a flour stained apron, wielding a finely made axe. ¡°Ah, well, a couple weeks back we started calling ourselves the Dead Company,¡± she let out a small chuckle then continued. ¡°It was supposed to be ironic. We¡¯d scooped up some of the weapons left over after that big fight youse lot had with the skeletons.¡± ¡°That was smart,¡± I said. ¡°Yeah, well,¡± she waved at the destruction around us. A gout of fire shot into the air to punctuate her point. ¡°Fat lot of good that did us.¡± ¡°We need to stop them at the source,¡± Bernadette said. She had a sheen of sweat on her brow, but otherwise looked unharmed. Two more belts of daggers crossed her chest. Behind her I could see Braelyn handing out more gear from the bag. Cal got a re-up on arrows. ¡°How do we do that?¡± I asked. ¡°We track the witch down and kill her. All these skeletons are hers, yeah?¡± ¡°It won¡¯t stop them instantly,¡± Mark said. ¡°But they would lack direction, and would disanimate for sure a hour or so later.¡± ¡°Then we have to go,¡± Bernie said. ¡°Not necessarily,¡± Mark said. ¡°Caleb is needed here. And if we split the party, one or both could fall.¡± Bernadette marched to Caleb.If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it. ¡°We have to go to the catacombs, and stop this at the source.¡± ¡°You¡¯re out of your mind,¡± he said, gesturing around. ¡°You see this? By the time we get to her, everything I¡¯d built will be destroyed. All of these people¡¯s homes. Everything they have. We could get lost in the catacombs for hours.¡± Bernadette waved her slate in his face. ¡°We know where she is! We can end this all at once!¡± ¡°While a dragon lays waste to my city? You are mad.¡± Bernadette cursed. She whirled on me. ¡°I¡¯m going,¡± she said. ¡°Wait, what?¡± ¡°If I go alone, I can get to her faster. Caleb and Rachel need your heals.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t have many left,¡± I said. ¡°Then use them wisely.¡± She kissed me, passionately. I closed my eyes and kissed back. And before I could even register that she¡¯d stopped, she was gone, disappeared into the shadows. I cursed, and turned to Rachel. ¡°Where did she go?¡± I asked. ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± she replied. ¡°Just down an alley.¡± I cursed again. I thought about it for exactly one second. I had one second of indecision, as I thought about staying here with Caleb. But, and I¡¯m not proud of this thought, I didn¡¯t want to bone Caleb. And two. If I let her die alone in the catacombs, that was on me. If Caleb died up here fighting a dragon, that was on him. I was brave enough, brave enough to fight when called for it. But I didn¡¯t want to do this. I didn¡¯t care about these people the way Caleb did. What the hell was I going to do against a dragon, against Captain Wen? The wise thing to do would be to run. But I couldn¡¯t. Again, Bernie had put me into a situation where I had to do something drastic to make sure she survived. But she was right. This was all over if we could stop the flood of undead at its source. It was the right play. ¡°I have to go,¡± I said. ¡°Then let me get you some arrows,¡± she said. I sheathed my sword, strapped the quiver around my waist, and took my bow into my hands. The little carved geese at the top of the limbs were comically cute given the dire circumstances. ¡°Look,¡± she continued, ¡°I got Caleb. Mark is here too. We¡¯ll make sure whatever heroic bullshit he pulls, works out. Go get her. And hey, maybe you two can put a stop to all this.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t die,¡± I said. ¡°Hey,¡± she smiled, ¡°that¡¯s the plan.¡± She hugged me. I waved at Mark, who nodded. Caleb glanced back at me, then turned to talk strategy with the head of the Dead Company. Pelas waved goodbye. I headed down the alley, toward the cemetery. I checked my slate for the heading, then put it in my belt pocket. Only Bernadette had the real time position of the Witch June, but we¡¯d put a custom pin on the map where we thought her home base was. Her moving during all this didn¡¯t make sense. Sticking to the catacombs, where she could make more skeletons, and away from the eyes of those that sought her, was a smart play. She had no way of knowing Bernie could track her. I ran. The fighting in the streets revealed itself intermittently. Here, some guards fought skeletons, there civilians tussled with a walking corpse. I didn¡¯t have the arrows to waste on them, but I hauled a piece of debris when I could. Even crushed the skull of a skeleton, once. Several blocks from the cemetery, I met my first real resistance. Three skeletons with lamellar armor and hand axes, stumbled towards me. I nocked an arrow, and let one loose at the lead one¡¯s leg, hoping to topple the whole lot. I missed. Shit. Another arrow, another at its leg. The arrow shattered its fibula but it kept walking. I cursed. I had to kill the damn thing now, and I wasn¡¯t sure I had the aim for it. My hands went to the feathers of the next arrow, and I nocked it instinctively, then let loose at its head. I was going to miss. It was headed straight for the empty space between its shoulder and neck. Then the arrow moved. It jumped up, and buried itself in the creature¡¯s eye socket, exploding the back of its skull and sending debris and purple flame into the air. Hell yeah! Little goose bow¡¯s enchantment actually worked! I started firing arrows one after the other, and managed to take them all down with the next six. That was tiring, but not as tiring as the melee fighting three on one would have been. I¡¯d made it. I was now several blocks from the cemetery, the City of the Dead they called it. I drank some water and chewed on a piece of jerky. Getting past whatever monsters that waited there would take all my strength. And if I got hurt because I was tired, I¡¯d be wasting a healing spell on myself, and not Bernie who I knew needed it. Three guards approached. ¡°Hail,¡± one of them said. ¡°You come from the fighting East? How fares it?¡± ¡°It¡¯s bad,¡± I said. ¡°King Caleb is rallying a militia, but they have great need of skilled fighters. A dragon is there, and so is a sorceress. How fares the West?¡± ¡°Bad. The undead are restless and many. But at least no dragon or sorceress,¡± he said. He looked terrified. And tired. But the mention of the king¡¯s name put some steel in his spine, he stood taller, breathed easier. A plan was starting to form. It was a dumb plan, but it was something. ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± I said. ¡°But the king needs you. Here,¡± I handed him the shield. ¡°This is a magic shield. It will help you get to where you need to go. This is a time where heroes are forged. You,¡± I looked to the other two, ¡°you all will remember this day for as long as you live, and think fondly on the deeds done.¡± The serious old-timey language felt strange coming from my mouth, but I knew these people needed to hear it. ¡°Surely,¡± he grumbled. He tested the weight of the shield, and nodded at its surprising lightness. ¡°What is your name sir?¡± ¡°I¡¯m no sir. But I am called Brant.¡± ¡°Brazen Brant,¡± I said. ¡°Today you need only walk East, join your king, and become a hero.¡± He nodded sternly. Then his face brightened. He removed his helm and handed it to me. ¡°Here,¡± he said, ¡°at least take my helm. It isn¡¯t enchanted, but it is well made by my father. It¡¯ll protect your head at least.¡± I took the helm. It was a little sweaty, but it fit well. And I was grateful to worry less that I¡¯d be killed by a single solid blow to the back of the head. The piece of armor seemed well crafted. Made of bronze, with leather and wood, it was surprisingly light, and had a stylized lion on the cheek guard, and a nose guard that covered the top half of my nose. The eyeholes were large and sweeping, which gave me plenty of room for my peripheral vision. I liked it. ¡°I thank you,¡± I said. ¡°You must keep your shield high.¡± ¡°I will,¡± Brant said. I shook his hand, and they left. Hopefully I wasn¡¯t being a dunce. I pulled out my slate, and double checked the stats. Some of the features on the item I was about to use would be useless. Bloodfeast only worked on the living, and starshatter had a huge area of effect, so was useless in the tight corners of the catacombs. But the darkvision would likely prove to be clutch. I slung my bow across my chest, unsheathed my sword, then transferred it to my left hand. I walked toward the gates. ¡°Forgive me for what I must do,¡± I said. The Edge of Nothing shimmered into place above my right hand. I grabbed it, and tested its feel. The sword left a faint purplish glow in its wake. It was a terrifyingly powerful weapon that sent a cold chill up my arm. I felt like I could take on the world. Lucky for me, I only had to take on a thousand skeletons just to reach the catacombs. So, easy enough, yeah? Chapter 36 — The Edge of Nothing A winter wind blew in chill, but not quite enough to mist my breath as I walked toward the cemetery gates. The mausoleum I was looking for lay some five or six blocks past the gate, and the bulk of the horde fidgeted and paced between me and it. Still corpses, dozens of them, lay amongst the boots of the creatures, their footwork strangely delicate, picking around them where they could. This told me that the Witch June either lacked the power to raise them like Sofia did, or that she had to see them to do it. Wanting to make as much progress as possible without fighting the bulk of them, I picked my way around the gates. I got about two blocks or so before I met a building that abutted the metal, face-high cemetery fence which halted my progress. This put me in the middle of the horde, who either didn¡¯t see me or didn¡¯t see me as a threat. Let¡¯s see how well this sword works. I gripped Edge of Nothing, and swiped the sword down on the metal fence. I only cut through three tines of the metal fence, I figured, because my edge alignment wasn¡¯t perfect. This thing cut through steel as easily as if it were styrofoam. It also rang against the steel, producing a loud clang. Not good. Skeletons turned toward me. They didn¡¯t run. They shuffled closer. Had to make this work quickly. I swiped a second time, then a third, then a fourth. Each swipe a loud clang. I kicked the fence and it tumbled apart. I leapt through the hole. Twenty skeletons, an offshoot of the horde, raised their shields and advanced. I swished my swords, testing them. I didn¡¯t really know how to fight with them like this, but these guys didn¡¯t really know how to fight either, and couldn¡¯t act with better tactics than ¡®stab the guy in front of you.¡¯ So, I had an advantage. Not sure it amounted to equal to a thousand of these monsters, but I only had to get past them, not defeat them. That was my win condition. I ran forward. Now, there are two general philosophies for how to fight with two swords. The Historical European Martial Arts perspective was to attack with the main hand, and defend with the other. A sound strategy, one that Bernedette had shown to be quite effective. The other was a more eastern philosophy, to use them as twin swords that mirror each other¡¯s movements, or follow each other as needed. I¡¯d only ever seen that done in old wuxia movies or in cartoons, so, not in any way that was practical. As someone that had literally never used two swords at once outside of the occasional cardboard wrapping paper tube, I did neither strategy and flailed away indiscriminately. It was surprisingly effective. Redeemer clanged off their shields or armor, but I put such force behind it I was able to beat them back. Edge sliced right through them ¡ª stopping for nothing ¡ª not armor, not shields, not bone. My feet drove me through each opening as I got to it. Sword and spear points got through my guard, but I took them on my chestplate or bracers with little problem, and kept swinging away. Soon I got into something of a rhythm, leading with Edge, parrying with Redeemer, because that was what the weapons were leading me to do. It felt good to swipe edge down through a skeleton, and seeing them tumble into a pile of metal and bone. I turned my body sideways, leading with my main hand like I¡¯d seen Bernie do. When a spear came in from the right, I dipped Edge down and cut up, lopping it off. When a skeleton got their skull too close to my left I pierced it with Redeemer. I could attack and defend with either, but one was clearly better at both. In moments, ten of them had crumpled before me. But they kept coming, and I was still maybe three blocks away. I saw the mausoleum I was looking for flanked by two angels. I was closer. I had a long way to go. ¡°Turn aside,¡± I muttered to myself, casting bubble. Blows that weren¡¯t angled precisely, bounced off the pale blue field that surrounded me. I dove in, slashing with abandon. Edge of Nothing screamed against the metal it tore like so much paper. Twenty fell in less than a minute. Seeing that they had to switch things up, the skeletons stopped advancing just long enough to form into a line. That wouldn¡¯t do. If I met them like that, they could collapse it around me, and I¡¯d be cooked. I leapt into the air and cast levitate, from Redeemer, sailing up and over them. I was moving quicker than a walk, but that wasn¡¯t exactly flying. Several dropped their swords or axes and pulled bows. That was no good. I shunted Edge into its dimensional pocket, sheathed Redeemer, and pulled my little goose bow, Provoker. The name of the game was counter-sniping, and I was bad at it. They weren¡¯t quick with their shots, but half of theirs hit. Most slid off my breast plate. A lucky few bounced off my helm. They only needed one to get through the eye holes for me to have a really bad day. I just aimed for the body til I could get a hit, then Provoker took care of the rest. I would nail a shoulder, or toe, and the next shot went right through the eye socket. An enemy arrow scraped across the glove on my hand, opening the leather and digging into my skin. I felt my whole arm go numb. That wasn¡¯t right. That felt different than any injury I¡¯d ever had, like I hit my funny bone, but it wasn¡¯t my bone, but my skin that tingled uncomfortably.You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version. Poison. She¡¯d given them poison. I quickly grabbed the bow with my right hand as it went numb. I¡¯d almost dropped it. The numbness traveled up my arm. This was bad. I was still floating too slowly, and I had at least a block and a half til I got to the mausoleum. I hooked Provoker around my neck and summoned Edge of Nothing. Let¡¯s see what this thing can really do. ¡°Shatter and burn ¡ª become dust in the wind!¡± I said with grave intonation, the spell phrase for starshatter. Look, I¡¯m not great at coming up with things to say for spell phrases. If I had thought even two seconds about it, maybe I¡¯d find something cooler, but it was just the best I could think to type on the way here. I pointed the Edge of Nothing at the bulk of the horde, but made sure that it was quite a bit of a ways from me. Just in case. I had no idea how big a sixty foot diameter was, but that seemed like a lot. In the midst of the horde, a dark orb, smaller than a pinprick, but then swelling in size, grew until it became something like the width of a truck, hovering four feet above the ground. The half a dozen or so skeletons that walked into it had their skulls sucked in, their necks sizzling from the burn. Then, it began to crack, faint lines of piercing white light jutting from the cracks, lancing through the skeletons, spinning ever faster. It exploded into a ball of white hot light. I had to cover my eyes. I could feel my boots singe. When I looked ¡ª mili-seconds later ¡ª I saw the horde was thrown into chaos, hundreds eradicated in an instance, others flat on their backs, struggling to stand, many more running this way and that, bumping into each other. I dropped levitate, and hit the ground running. It took them a while to recognize I was still alive, and by that point there were only a dozen or so in front of me and my goal. I hacked them down with little trouble. Around the gates of the mausoleum was wrapped a chain and padlock. I cut the chain with a single stroke, and shouldered it open. My new darkvision let me see the world in shades of gray, and the environment had a strange, lightless shine to it, like a video game from the time before lighting. The world seemed to buzz and glow in the gray. I¡¯d seen night vision cameras before. This was better than that. There, behind a life sized statue of a woman, I saw the passage leading down. I didn¡¯t stop to catch my breath, and took the steps two at a time. When I pulled my slate from my pocket, the light of the screen pushed back my darkvision and I could see color again on my hands. The map told me that it was just two more turns, and it was a straight shot to June¡¯s lair. I ran faster. Once completing those two turns, I saw light in the distance, and heard the strained growling of the undead. The clash of spear points on brick echoed through the hall. I heard the strangled yelp of a woman in pain. No time to feel the exhaustion. I had to get there. The hall opened into some kind of underground, domed atrium. Blue arcane lanterns flanked each of the four entrances, and lit the beautiful, twisting oak tree in the middle. A gang of two dozen skeletons seemed very intent on getting to something on the ceiling. Three shot arrows. One had a very long pike it thrust into the brick ceiling with a plonk. The rest attempted to get up this twisting tree. Bernadette fought them furiously, running this way and that on the ceiling. ¡°Bernie!¡± I yelled. ¡°I see you! Get the ones with the arrows!¡± she said. Sword in each hand, I aimed to do just that. I lashed out with Edge, over and over, and cut down the first three or four before they even had a chance to recognize I was there. Their response was slow, as they struggled to realize that I was the bigger threat. Before they could mount a counter attack I yelled, ¡°into the dark of night!¡± The entire atrium went dark with my spell, but for the very top of the tree. I could still see. They turned to each other as if wondering where I had gone. It took them too long to realize that I was still there. I had just enough time to line up my attacks, and I lopped their heads off one after the other. By the time the spell was through, every single skeleton had been returned to their eternal rest. Bernadette dropped down beside me. ¡°Good job,¡± she said. ¡°We have less than a minute before she sends more.¡± ¡°How many does she have?¡± ¡°She has some kind of special amulet that lets her get her spell slots back fast, like minutes instead of hours. I almost had her,¡± she continued, her eyes showing deep exhaustion, ¡°but then Benoit shot me in the arm.¡± I noticed the blood pouring from her arm, mixed in with the black of her steelsilk. I hit her with a Heal Light Wounds. She nodded her thanks. ¡°Why did you run off without me?¡± I asked. ¡°You¡¯d just slow me down.¡± ¡°I just saved your ass,¡± I countered. ¡°My ass was fine,¡± she said, and pointed to the ceiling, ¡°they were never getting up there.¡± ¡°Would you ever have come down?¡± ¡°Maybe.¡± ¡°You need me.¡± ¡°I do well enough on my own.¡± I growled with frustration and sat down on a rock next to the twisting oak. I sipped my water and ate the last of my jerky. Bernie walked the perimeter of the room, sucking air, trying to wind down. She must have been burning adrenaline for hours. I handed her my water, and she drank silently. Eventually, she sat on the rock opposite me. ¡°You have to start trusting me,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s always worked out.¡± ¡°Fucking hell, Bernie, no it hasn¡¯t. You would have died that first time. You could have died here.¡± ¡°You should have stayed with Caleb.¡± ¡°What is your problem?¡± Bernie stared at me silently. The blue light cast a ghastly glow on her. ¡°You don''t get it. You saw what this place did to Rachel. It damn near broke her. Caleb¡¯s gone native. And Sofia¡¯s a monster.¡± She stood. ¡°We can¡¯t stay here. We have to leave ¡ª now.¡± ¡°That doesn¡¯t make sense. Why won¡¯t you let me help you?¡± Bernie began to cry. I wrapped her in a hug. ¡°You¡¯re scared,¡± I said, finally getting it. Or at least some of it. ¡°Of course I¡¯m fucking scared! I want to go home!¡± ¡°Then I¡¯ll do it,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ll get you home. I¡¯ll get us all home.¡± She broke from me and looked at me, as if trying to find something in my face. I gazed back with determination. Then her eyes fell on something behind me. I turned. Yep. There were the skeletons. Their feet sounded like so much wood against stone. Then came the sound from the hall to our left. Then our right. ¡°There¡¯s more than last time,¡± she said. ¡°There¡¯s more of us now too,¡± I said. Chapter 37 — An Ill Timed Confession So, I was up a tree hacking at skeletons. I¡¯m sure you can guess how we ended up there. We ran out of arrows, we got overwhelmed, we climbed the tree to diminish the threat from their numbers. I¡¯d stuck a globe of darkness on the ceiling, where Bernie was perched, to protect us from ranged attacks. Since I needed one hand to grasp onto the tree limb I was sort of hanging from ¡ª I¡¯d also wrapped my legs around the trunk for support ¡ª I only had one hand to hack at them with. I chose Redeemer, because if one of us got hurt, I¡¯d have a much better heal with it. Bernie could see through the darkness too, and had her hands on a pike that she swung down at them when they got close enough. It was grueling work, and we were stuck. ¡°This isn¡¯t better than before you got here!¡± she yelled down at me. ¡°It¡¯s okay! We¡¯ll find our opening!¡± ¡°How?!¡± she yelled back. Next, I did something very stupid. I said the thing I wasn¡¯t supposed to say. ¡°I love you! We¡¯ll figure something out!¡± ¡°What?¡± I had two options here ¡ª deny, or double down. I¡¯m sure you can guess which option I chose. ¡°I said, I love you!¡± I yelled, jamming the point of my sword through the eye socket of a skeleton, whose head exploded into bone fragments and purple flame. ¡°No you don¡¯t,¡± she said. ¡°Yes I do!¡± This probably would have gone over better when I was saving her, and not hanging from a tree limb. Or maybe when we were about to have sex? Thinking back, both of those moments weren¡¯t right either. Maybe there wasn¡¯t a right moment. You go through your life thinking that the important shit, the really whirlwind, change your life forever moments, will be surrounded by a choir of angels, and under the full moon. In a field of flowers or whatever. But sometimes they happen when they need to, not when it''s perfect. Maybe it wasn¡¯t something that you waited for. Maybe it could happen anytime. Maybe it was a leap of faith. I did love her. I¡¯d figured that out pretty much the moment I¡¯d held her in my arms, nearly dead and bleeding all those weeks ago. Not only did I want her alive, I wanted her next to me. I wanted her to see how damn cool she was. And I wanted to make sure that I didn¡¯t miss a single second of her splendor. And I, selfishly, wanted her to be mine. But not as my girlfriend or whatever, but as herself, as she wanted to be. I wanted us together as the best version of ourselves. And I knew that she had some work to get there, but that I had even more. We weren¡¯t perfect, but we were better together. Hell, we were great together. I knew I loved her, but I didn¡¯t know what to do with that. But I think she needed to know I loved her. I think she needed to know that I would always be there. ¡°Bull. Shit,¡± she said. Maybe you miss your leap of faith. ¡°Well, how can I prove it?¡± I said, swinging my sword and hacking the arm from a skeleton. It dropped its axe, and I kicked it before it could wrap its grip around the treelimb it was on, and sent it tumbling. Bernadette swung the pike, and knocked another skeleton from the other side of the tree. ¡°You can¡¯t,¡± she said. ¡°Now, I call bullshit!¡± I said. ¡°I trust you! I¡¯m here, right now, and always. You know I¡¯ll always be there. Why can¡¯t you accept it?¡± ¡°Give me something,¡± she said. ¡°What?!¡± ¡°Fucking, I don¡¯t know. Give me something to prove you aren¡¯t just in it so I¡¯ll stay with the group! Or so I¡¯ll fuck you!¡± ¡°Why?¡± I asked, hacking the head from another undead. ¡°Because men will say anything! You gotta do something to back it up!¡± I growled with frustration, and kicked another skeleton. ¡°Like a fucking promise ring, or something?¡± ¡°Only if it¡¯s expensive!¡± I thought for a second. Well, the most expensive thing I had was magic items. This whole thing seemed a little materialist on its face, but it made some sense with a second thought. Women want to know if your words mean something. So, you give up something important, something that says you won¡¯t run away. If you drop half a year''s salary on a diamond ring for a girl, it means you aren¡¯t gonna leave it, or her, behind. What can she reasonably believe I¡¯d never leave behind? I didn¡¯t have anything.Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site. Then I knew exactly what I needed to do. I dropped Redeemer. ¡°What are you doing?!¡± She exclaimed. ¡°Forgive me for what I must do,¡± I muttered. Edge of Nothing appeared in my hand. I sliced a skeleton in half. ¡°Heads up!¡± I warned. Then I threw the sword into the brick several paces from her. ¡°This what I think it is?¡± she asked. ¡°It¡¯s yours!¡± I said. ¡°Now and forever. Besides ¡ª suits you better anyway.¡± ¡°Holy shit,¡± she said, grabbing the sword and swishing it experimentally. ¡°Rubies? How¡¯d you know that they¡¯re my favorite?¡± ¡°So,¡± I replied. ¡°After you! You cut a path, and I¡¯ll follow.¡± I looked down at the skeletons that were climbing up toward me. ¡°And maybe hurry up.¡± ¡°This doesn¡¯t mean I love you back!¡± She said. ¡°I don¡¯t need to hear it,¡± I lied. ¡°Then follow me,¡± she said, detaching from the ceiling, and falling. She diced two skeletons in half on the way down, then landed like a cat on the balls of her feet. The skeletons didn¡¯t know what to do at first. She cut down three more before they even thought to move, and dashed out of their reach. I let go, and dropped down to a lower branch. Because I was ready for it, I didn¡¯t get the breath knocked out of me when my chest hit it. Then I dropped to another, then a third. Finally, I hit the ground next to her, stumbled but righted myself. A skeleton brandished my sword. Its head was lopped off its shoulders a second later, and I caught it before it hit the ground. I shoved the point over another¡¯s shield and through its skull. I scooped the shield, and turned to follow Bernie. She ducked a swipe, then jumped and spun over them, cut three down in succession, then ran back, bisected the two next to me, then moved forward again. They just fell apart before they could even react to her. Soon, she was right by my side. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you give me this sooner?¡± ¡°I thought you¡¯d hate that it was from Sofia,¡± I said, blocking a blow with my shield. ¡°We¡¯ll talk about that later,¡± she said, bisecting the one next to me, then two more, then standing next to me again. ¡°But it¡¯s just a sword. An excellent sword, so you¡¯d be an idiot not to use it.¡± I pointedly didn¡¯t tell her about all the times I should have used it. I wanted her to think I was smart. Or less dumb than I often seemed. ¡°Well,¡± I said. ¡°I protect your back,¡± I lifted my shield to emphasize the point, ¡°and you lead the way.¡± ¡°You just want an excuse to look at my ass,¡± she said. ¡°I mean, were this any other time, I¡¯d cherish an excuse to look at your ass, but we have to take this seriously.¡± ¡°Try and keep up, then,¡± she said. Her powerful legs propelled her forward. She moved like nothing I¡¯d ever seen, leaping up over her foes and twisting, contorting her body over their swipes. I just plowed straight ahead, shoving skeletons aside, and battering around with Redeemer. Giving her space was the name of the game. As long as I kept baddies off her back, she¡¯d whip back around and finish them off. What had been a struggle, was now some kind of gosh darn rollercoaster. If I stopped moving for a second, she¡¯d leave me behind, but I wasn¡¯t in any kind of danger if I stuck close to her. Then we reached the tunnel East, toward the lair, and even though the skeletons were thicker here, the tighter quarters just let her really cut loose. She leapt to the ceiling, then the wall, then the floor, then back again, never keeping the same plain of attack, always changing the direction she leapt from. And I was the center of all this. I kept them off balance and she took them down. Soon, it was over. We walked briskly down the narrow hall in silence, passing empty alcoves as we did. These sections had already been emptied of the dead. I didn¡¯t have darkvision any more, but she brandished the warm light of the slate for me to follow. We both breathed heavily, but the walk let us cool down. By the time we reached the heavy wooden door we figured was her lair, we had gotten back to an even cadence for our breath. A torch burned from a sconce near the door, presumably so she didn¡¯t trip going in and out. Bernie showed me the dot on her slate that let us know June indeed was behind the door. I¡¯d long since sheathed Redeemer, and so gently set my shield down, to pull out Provoker. I¡¯d procured a little less than a dozen arrows on the way here. They were of varying lengths but that wasn¡¯t too much of an issue for a short bow. She returned the slate, gripped Edge, then crept to the door. Her finger held up three. I nocked an arrow. Then her fingers showed two. I took a step back and raised my bow. Then one. My back muscles engaged and I pulled the bow back as far as I could. She yanked the door open. The first thing I saw was the beautiful wrought iron chandelier, wax dripping from the candles. Then I saw the three people here. Then the desks with paper strewn about. The first person, a woman with voluminous hair and dark skirts could only be June. The man in leather armor, Pistol on the desk in front of him, I assumed was Benoit. The third revealed himself to be a massive orc. They all went red. I immediately released the string. The arrow scraped Benoit¡¯s back. He arched in pain. Bernadette threw her hunting knife into the orc¡¯s face. I nocked another arrow. The entire room went black ¡ª a spell from Edge. I let loose my arrow. A yelp of pain came from the blackness. I sent another arrow for good measure. The orc barreled from the blackness, knife still in his face. He tried to go for my throat but I flailed with the bow. He grabbed the bow. I held fast. Then he charged forward, slamming me into the wall. Punches slammed into my stomach. ¡°Not today,¡± I said. The sound of clashing blades echoed from the darkness. I quickly added, ¡°Bernadette I believe in you!¡± Another punch, this time to my head, sent my vision splotchy, and it narrowed dangerously. I¡¯d never been knocked out by a punch before, but I figured this was close. I grabbed the knife in the orc¡¯s face and plunged it into his neck. One hand went to the wound, reflexively. I tore the knife free again, juked his counter punch, then plunged the knife right through the soft spot in his armpit. The orc slouched, dead or dying. I immediately nocked another arrow and sent it into the darkness. Not knowing what else to do, I ran through the door. Bernie dropped the spell. I could see again. It was just us now, and two corpses. ¡°Where is she?¡± I asked. ¡°Teleported out,¡± she said. ¡°Damn,¡± I said. ¡°She say anything before that?¡± ¡°Just that, ¡®her work was done anyway.¡¯¡± ¡°That sounds ominous.¡± ¡°Oh, she was probably just bragging,¡± she said. ¡°Come on, let¡¯s see if we can¡¯t discover what they were doing.¡± ¡°Then we need to go save Caleb,¡± I said. Bernadette nodded. The night was far from over. Bonus Chapter 1 My NPC philosophy-- in leu of alignment, I have my own scale of competing dualities for NPCs (Good/Evil on one axis, and Trustworthy/Untrustworthy on another) that I have put in brackets near their name. Good and Evil aren¡¯t cosmological forces here, just positions NPCs take. Good NPCs seek to help Player Characters, and Evil seeks to oppose them. Trustworthiness, here, is how willing they are to put the PCs'' needs over their own. I also don''t¡¯ bother with giving NPCs skills outside an example DC for lying or spell saves. NPCs do what they need to within reason. Anything outside that I simply will choose to have the PCs handle it. NPCs are just tools to further the story of the player, and while they should be complex enough to hold up to scrutiny, aren¡¯t meant to take up a bunch of mental RAM for a Game Master. [Good/Untrustworthy] Magical Researcher, Liam HP: 172 (17d8 + 96), AC: 17 (Intellect Field, ring of protection), SPD: 30ft, 60ft fly STR 17 (-1) DEX 12 (+2) CON 23 (+6) INT 19 (+4) WIS 10 (+0) CHA 18 (+4) Example DC: 17; CR: 16 (Prof +5) Saves: INT and CON Abilities and Attacks¡ª Multiattack X3. The Wizard makes three sparking dagger attacks; or one sparking dagger and casts one spell. Sparking Dagger. +9 to hit, Melee or Range 50/90 ft. Hit: 14 (2d10+4) lightning damage. Daggers are visible as they fly through the air, but disappear as soon as they strike the target, leaving them burned. Legendary Resistances: 3 Legendary Reactions: 1 The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement. Spellcasting: DC 17 Saves, +9 to hit At Will: Detect Magic, Identify, Mage Hand, Misty Step, Remove Curse 2/day: Counterspell, Dispel Magic, Haste, Lightning Bolt, Telekinesis 1/day: Chain Lightning, Teleport, Time Stop Intellect Field: Liam adds his Intelligence modifier to his AC, befitting his preternatural senses and intuition. Additionally, a field of electricity protects him from harm. Each attack made to him per round is at disadvantage until he takes damage from an attack, then the field disappears and they can be rolled as normal until the start of the next round, where the field automatically returns. Legendary Actions: 1 Sparking Dagger, or Make a Perception Check DC 17 Legendary Reaction: should a melee fighter get within 5ft of Liam, he will use his extra Legendary reaction to Misty Step as far away from them as he can. Quick Description: Handsome, trim, and full of energy, this young man¡¯s opulent blue and gold robes mark him as a wizard. His perfectly coiffed hair, and smooth, clean shaven face reveal a meticulous attention to his personal appearance that seems at odds with a life studying indoors. He seems uncannily well adjusted and polite. More information: Liam is a brilliant researcher and his floating mage tower has information from every corner of the continent. He loves helping to solve complex magical and arcane problems, and allows the use of his tower to do so. He has swift, silent copper and porcelain constructs that can attend to the party¡¯s every need. What most adventurers don¡¯t know is that the information he finds most valuable are the foibles and weaknesses of the adventurers themselves. Research isn¡¯t cheap, and he¡¯ll sell any information he can get his hands on to the highest bidder. Goal: His only goal, outside knowledge for its own sake, is to learn the secret to consciousness. He secretly yearns to give his porcelain constructs true consciousness like he has. Complication: Despite his youthful appearance, Liam is hundreds of years old, and he isn¡¯t truly human. In an experiment gone wrong, errant magic touched the well of souls in the space between, and swapped the consciousness of a construct with their master. What had once been L14M, is now Liam. He swiftly destroyed his former master, and assumed his place. The constructs can¡¯t talk or otherwise show their displeasure, but he thinks they approve. Loot: Liam has vast wealth in the library if one can find it, but on his person is his spellbook, a wand of magic missiles, a ring of protection, three 300 gp diamonds, and a beautiful Cloak of Intellect Field (Legendary, requires attunement) that confers Liam¡¯s intellect Field ability on a spellcaster as long as they do not wear armor. Combat Tactics: Liam abhors violence, but he is imminently capable of doling it out. Should it come to blows, he will immediately cast Timestop. With his extra turns he will first change the battlefield to better suit his needs, using Telekinesis drag bookcases or debris in front of ranged attackers or box in melee fighters. Then, he will dispel buffs or summoned creatures the party has prepared. In combat he prefers to use Misty Step and flight to keep melee fighters at bay and rely on his Intellect Field to handle ranged attackers. He will focus exclusively on spellcasters first. On round two he will throw out a chain lightning to see if he can¡¯t finish the fight in one fell swoop. He will not seek to fight for longer than three rounds, and will attempt to flee deeper into his tower to recover spells. If it seems he may die, he will teleport away and leave the tower for the players. If the players manage to stay on his good side, he is content to help them to the best of his ability while selling secrets behind their back for the foreseeable future. Chapter 38 — I Regret Taking Healer The room looked to be some kind of office. Stacks of paper and books and alchemical components piled precariously on every available surface. Candles dripped wax. I shuffled through some of the papers by the light of my slate, trying to find anything of note. ¡°Into the hall!¡± yelled Bernadette. ¡°What?¡± The floor below me glowed harshly. Bernadette grabbed me by the arm and yanked me into the hall just as the glyph exploded, setting everything on fire. My pants began to burn. We pat at my legs, managing to extinguish them before too much was engulfed, but it did leave me with little to cover my right leg. A problem for later. ¡°You okay?¡± she asked. ¡°The smoke,¡± I choked out. Papers flapped in the air. I grabbed them, and stood. My hand found hers and we ran back into the darkness. She held her slate up in the air, illuminating her face and little else. I walked into the little pool of light. ¡°Smart call about the smoke,¡± she said. ¡°I think, I think I got something,¡± I said, shoving the paper under our faces in the light. It was all hard to read but they seemed to be letters. The most readable in the dim light started like this: Dear the Witch June, We commend you for your service to the Throne of Light, and find your combat performance quite commendable. What is not acceptable is your failure to capture your quarry. Her Most Cherished and Revered is disappointed. When asked about your aunt and cousins, my superiors assured me that they are being well looked after. They remain under close watch, and I was impressed upon by those that know that you should not worry for their safety. The throne has their best magical researchers on a solution to your aunt¡¯s illness. As for your next steps, you are to continue producing skeletons and¡­ I skipped the part where it seemed like they were instructing her to prepare for the invasion. We¡¯d passed the point where that was relevant. It was mostly a list of alchemical components and such. The ending was interesting though. On a personal note, my Husband is delighted by your recommendations for literature, and says you have impeccable taste. I was never much interested in such frivolities, but I was assured that he would love to hear more, if you happen to come across them. With love and utmost respect, M. I wondered who ¡®M¡¯ was. Could be anyone. ¡°You think this is from Princess Mia?¡± Bernadette asked. ¡°Maybe!¡± Behind Bernadette I could see the flames simmer in the distance. ¡°Let''s get to the tree,¡± I said, ¡°rest for a minute, then we can go save our friends.¡± I let Bernie finish my water. We sat under the tree, amongst the piles of bones and I breathed the stale air. ¡°Can¡¯t wait to get out of these damn catacombs,¡± I said. Bernie just hummed in response. I fiddled with my armor, made sure it sat right after all the ruckus, then searched the weapons on the floor for arrows and a decent shield. Arrows were no luck, but I found a good pile of shields. One was a full steel reinforced kite shield. It had a maker''s mark and everything on it. The straps were old, but a quick application of Mend Item got it up to speed. ¡°You check your slate?¡± she asked. I cursed, and looked at it. It was Rachel. I skimmed the older ones. The newest basically just said that we were needed pronto. Caleb had chased off the dragon but the skeletons were still active. Apparently, they were less coordinated, but since their creator was still alive, they were able to hold positions. And Sofia¡¯s assassin guild, the Marauders, were seeking out resistance and harrying them. We had to get going. I also saw I had other unread messages, but slid my slate into my pocket. ¡°I care about you,¡± Bernadette said. A chill ran through my whole body. I gazed at the tree, adjusted the shield on my arm, and just said, ¡°yeah?¡± ¡°I do. So when I said what I said, that doesn¡¯t mean that you don¡¯t mean something to me.¡± She was tiptoeing around the fact that she sort of said she didn¡¯t love me. ¡°Yeah, don¡¯t worry about it,¡± I said, even though my heart was in my throat. ¡°I know I called bullshit on it, but the longer this goes on, the less like bullshit it seems.¡±The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. I turned to look at her. ¡°It¡¯s not bullshit.¡± ¡°I know you said that,¡± she responded, gazing at Edge, letting its rubies glint in the torchlight. Then she finally looked at me. ¡°But how could it be true?¡± I walked to her, knelt, and said, ¡°If I have to spend forever proving it to you I will.¡± She laughed. ¡°Fuck off!¡± ¡°I¡¯m serious. You got me. You got me good. I¡¯m here until you tell me not to be.¡± She grabbed my face and kissed it. ¡°We survive this,¡± she said, ¡°and maybe we¡¯ll talk about this later.¡± ¡°Then, I¡¯ll just have to make sure we survive.¡± Bernie led me through the catacombs, and we popped out at the other end of the graveyard. The fresh air, and the cold was like a gulp of water after running the mile back in highschool. I literally gasped. Everywhere was white. No. Not white, grey. Ash fell, and shone bright in the moonlight. Screams punctuated the night. We had to hurry. Fire belched from the building closest to us. I saw Bernadette freeze. ¡°You have to lead me,¡± I said. ¡°Right,¡± she muttered, transfixed. ¡°You can move forward because I have your back. You don¡¯t have to look back, because I¡¯m right behind you. Let¡¯s go!¡± We dashed forward. Any skeletons that got in our way, we hacked to pieces. Eventually, we came across a pocket of Dead Militia. They seemed real hurt. They did have arrows to spare, which we were grateful for. ¡°What¡¯s the situation?¡± I asked. They explained that they¡¯d run into what they thought were us, a group of goodly adventurers. It was the Marauders. They cut down a good number of them as they ran in full retreat. What little they were able to tell us is that they were four strong: a woman with twin-tailed blonde hair and an axe, a man with a black cape and a bow, another man with red hair that cast spells, and and their leader, an imposing man in chainmail with a tabard of a purple sun with five rays. The leader seemed some kind of cleric because he had a huge amulet on a chain tucked into his belt. I asked if they¡¯d seen any of our party. They said that last they¡¯d heard, Rachel led a small band of guards some half a dozen blocks away. Bernadette didn¡¯t even thank them before she started running. I waved goodbye and followed. The ash caked our boots. I breathed some in and descended into a coughing fit. Bernie didn¡¯t stop so I had to dash to catch up with her. I darn near ran her over. ¡°Why did you st¡ª¡± She held her hand up and I cut myself off. Grabbing the front of my tabard, she pulled me around a corner. ¡°What did you see?¡± I whispered. ¡°Skeletons, guarding a building. Some kind of fight on top.¡± ¡°So we need to get on top of that building. Easy, you can walk up it.¡± ¡°You can¡¯t,¡± she reminded me. ¡°That¡¯ll put you alone up there with whatever they¡¯re fighting. Not a bad idea still. Maybe you¡¯ll be enough to turn the tide.¡± ¡°Maybe. I think we should go together.¡± It took us another thirty seconds but we came up with a strategy. Then I was pounding up the steps of some kind of meat shop. Roof access was locked, but I was able to kick it down. We ducked down and huddled against the edge of the roof. The fight was just three buildings down. I took a deep breath, then stood. Bernie leapt onto my back and cast darkness on my sword. I leapt off the edge of the roof, and cast my last free casting of levitate. Now we were a floating ball of darkness. It was about as fast as a walk, and since I was weightless, I could carry Bernie easily. I put my hand on Edge of Nothing, and was granted its darkvision. The closer we got, the worse the fight seemed. I could see Rachel yeeting skeletons off the roof with ease. I also saw Captain Wen carving through the guards. By the time we got there, she was gonna be dead two times over. I wordlessly handed my bow to Bernie. ¡°What¡¯s this for?¡± she asked. ¡°You¡¯re a better shot. See if you can distract her.¡± ¡°Good idea.¡± The first arrow from our darkness bubble sailed over Wen¡¯s head. ¡°That was a little high.¡± ¡°Sush, I got it.¡± The second arrow struck Wen¡¯s shoulder. She looked right at us. A guard struck her in the side of the head with an axe. She skewered him. ¡°That got her! Hit her again!¡± I nearly yelled. We floated closer. Bernadette rained arrows down on her. Wen split her attention between us and those she was fighting, stopping to toss a shining javelin she summoned into her hand. But the globe of darkness did its trick. Out of the dozen arrows Bernie loosed, two found their way through the gaps in Captain Wen¡¯s shining armor. We reached the edge of the roof. I dropped levitate. None of Rachel¡¯s guards were standing, and most didn¡¯t even move. The skeletons had also been dealt with. It was just Captain Wen, and us. I had to hope that our advanced levels had made the difference. But just in case¡­ ¡°It¡¯s over!¡± I said. ¡°You¡¯re outnumbered three to one. Retreat while you can.¡± Rachel gave a chuckle that seemed equal parts disbelief and exhaustion. Captain Wen¡¯s eyes widened. I looked to Bernie who just shrugged. ¡°Do you think any of you are alive because you are skilled?¡± Captain Wen asked. ¡°People are constantly trying to kill us, and yet we stand,¡± I said. Wen pointed at me and replied, ¡°you stand because my queen demands that you live. But then again,¡± she turned her back on Rachel and walked toward me, ¡°maybe I tell her there was an accident. Maybe you fell off the roof, and there was nothing I could do.¡± Rachel leapt toward the armored woman. Captain Wen whirled around and caught her by the throat. ¡°No!¡± Bernadette screamed. She ran forward. I followed. Captain Wen spun, and launched Rachel right at me. Dropping my sword, I tried to catch her. I toppled back and her body crushed the breath from my lungs. Bernadette leapt high into the air, well above Wen¡¯s head, and lashed out at her with Edge. Captain Wen parried multiple times with her own sword, and ran forward, then turned to keep Bernie from having her back. Her massive frame made it hard for me to catch how the fight was going, but it seemed like her huge sword gave her plenty of room to keep Bernie at bay. I struggled to my feet, and pulled Rachel up too. I scooped my sword up and raised my shield. Bernadette flew off the side of the building. Rachel rushed our enemy, hoping to capitalize on her brief distraction. Captain Wen brought her sword down on Rachel, slicing through her left arm. It fell to the snow. Rachel dropped to her knees. Blood gushed like a waterhose from the stump. ¡°Rachel, I need you!¡± I yelled. The blood slowed to a trickle, but I didn¡¯t like that much either. My legs froze. I wish it was some kind of magic or spell that made it happen. But it wasn''t. It was just pure fear. Rachel and Bernadette were both so much better at fighting than I was. What chance did I have? I had one spell slot left. If I used it, I couldn¡¯t heal Rachel again. And if I used another healing phrase, I couldn¡¯t get her arm back on. I had to get to her side, and stick her arm back on before trying to heal. That¡¯s how that worked, right? Man, why did I have to choose to be the healer? There was no other choice for me. No fancy tricks, no sleep spell to bail me out ¡ª I just had to fight her on my own. It wasn¡¯t the first time I thought this, but I had to admit: I was royally screwed. Chapter 39 — Battle Under Falling Ash I had seconds before Captain Wen got within striking range. Or at least, I thought so. That sword was deceptively long. I glanced around trying to cement in my mind the battlefield, so I wouldn¡¯t have to take my eyes off her during the fight. Dark sword in the ash ¡ª that had to be Edge. Rachel¡¯s arm. The piles of guards and skeletons ¡ª hazards. The edge of the roof, closer to the left than right. Shit, she was close. That had to be good enough. She swung at me, big overhand. I raised and angled my shield. Clang! The energy of the sword, even a glancing blow, was enough to send me back ¡ª just a half step ¡ª but enough that I was off balance. I threw myself forward, another swing, this time I was ready for it, sliding my shield down the long blade. If I could feel it, then I knew it wasn¡¯t headed for my head. I was just close enough to get a glancing blow on her pauldron. I hit! Sparks flew toward her unhelmeted face. She flinched. Yes! Even the Knight of the Word could flinch. I used that moment to spin past her. Stepped over a body, and kicked the Edge of Nothing into the air and over the lip of the roof. I spun around, and was forced to parry her sword point. Then it swung back around and I parried it again. I paired again, then raised my shield ¡ª then parried, then the shield. Each blow taking everything I had to keep the point or edge from doing serious damage to me. She was fast, and had perfect understanding of her sword¡¯s reach. I was always just too far away to counter-attack. My eyes flicked to Rachel. She had her hand on the stump where her arm had been. She wasn¡¯t unconscious. Damn she was tough. But I couldn¡¯t get to her. The sound of fighting meant that Bernie was down at street level still. If she could get back up here, maybe we¡¯d have the second we needed to get Rachel¡¯s arm back on. We needed to run. But we couldn¡¯t. I wasn¡¯t ready for her kick. She kicked my shield, throwing it wide. Her sword edge went right for my arm, catching the bottom of the shield, and throwing it off the side of the roof. ¡°Fuck.¡± ¡°You¡¯re damn right,¡± she said. Then that sword came swinging around, and I had nothing for it. I threw my body back. The swordpoint scraped across my breastplate, gouging it. It didn¡¯t tear through, but it creased it. I was also tossed back, my feet wheeling to get under me. I didn¡¯t fall. But that was one hit. I don¡¯t think I could take another. ¡°I can¡¯t reach you!¡± I yelled to Rachel. Another strike from Wen. I let it sail past. My riposte scraped past her gauntlet, sending multicolored sparks up. She shuffled back half a step, and let her sword swing back at me. ¡°If you can get your arm back in its socket I can heal you!¡± I said, using both hands to parry her attack. I saw Rachel grab her detached arm, and place it back on her shoulder. Was she holding it correctly? It looked good enough to me. ¡°Rachel, I need you!¡± Redeemer had been increasing my heals for every consecutive healing spell I cast. I¡¯d cast a lot of healing spells tonight. I could hear the muscles knit back together from here. ¡°Rachel, I believe in you!¡± She stood. I rushed forward. Captain Wen turned and sliced down on Rachel ¡ª the same cut she¡¯d used before. Rachel caught the greatsword with her good hand. I saw a pinkie fly through the air. Now was my chance. I stabbed toward the back of Wen¡¯s head. Her hand shot back, and she caught my blade. Rachel had Captain Wen¡¯s sword, and Wen had my sword. I yanked on my weapon but it wouldn¡¯t budge. One handed, Wen yanked on hers. We were at an impasse. I could see that Captain Wen hadn¡¯t completely stopped my blow. She was missing an ear. The sound of feet, running feet, came from my right. Bernadette leapt over the lip of the roof, the Edge of Nothing cocked back for a deadly blow. Captain Wen let go of the swords she was holding and, juked to the side as Bernie¡¯s blade came down, then punched her out of the air, sending her sprawling across the ash and slamming into the edge of the roof. Bernadette writhed in pain. Rachel tossed her enemy¡¯s sword end over end, and caught it by the handle. I sliced for Wen¡¯s neck. She threw her head back, just missing it, then stepped back another step to dodge Rachel¡¯s attack as well. We went on the aggressive, and Captain Wen was forced to bat the blows aside with her vambraces, retreating further and further as she did. Eventually she was at the edge of the roof. I stepped back, Rachel followed my lead. Captain Wen wasn¡¯t out of the fight yet, but we were both exhausted. I was sucking air, and Rachel was wincing from the immense pain. ¡°Do you yield?¡± I asked. Bernadette stopped right next to me, and leveled Edge at her. ¡°Should we give her a chance?¡± she asked. It was a good question. The chances of her having information worth knowing was high, but her actually folding to interrogation was low. She¡¯d also killed a lot of good people.Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere. I should probably just kill her. Captain Wen¡¯s eyebrows raised in surprise exactly as I decided she should die. Apparently, I had a bad poker face. She pulled a scroll from her belt, and leapt over the side of the roof. I rushed to stop her. I looked over the side, and was just able to see her lower body as she passed through a dark portal. The portal closed, and with it went any chance we had of killing her. I heard a body strike the ground behind me. I turned to see Bernadette cradling Rachel. ¡°Water!¡± Bernie yelled. I searched the corpses on the roof. As I did, several of the guards, about three, groaned and moved enough to let me know they were living. Eventually one pointed me to a waterskin on his belt. I gave him a sip, then swiftly moved to Rachel. She was still conscious, barely, and she took the water okay enough, but I knew that she was going to need to be carried. I tore my other pant leg into strips while I studied her shoulder. It was a mess. The skin hadn¡¯t fully healed around it, and muscle and tendon were open to the air. It bled freely, but not enough that I was worried she''d exsanguinate before we could find a healer. She¡¯d done a good enough job getting it into place, but it was far from perfect. She¡¯d probably need surgery to get it fully functional. ¡°Found it!¡± Bernadette said, holding up her pinky. I cursed. ¡°I don¡¯t have any slots left.¡± Rachel¡¯s eyes opened just enough to look at the pinky. ¡°I have,¡± she started to say. ¡°I have one more left in my amulet.¡± ¡°A second chance? Why didn¡¯t you use it?¡± ¡°I forgot?¡± ¡°Okay, wait till I get it tied on.¡± Bernadette produced some needle and thread, and while I know it wasn¡¯t as good as a surgeon would have done, she got the pinky back on while I cleaned the shoulder with Rachel¡¯s dwarven hooch. I wrapped the shoulder and got it in a makeshift sling. ¡°Alright,¡± I said, ¡°use the amulet.¡± Rachel¡¯s back arched in pain. The muscles knit together. She screamed. Then she sat up, her eyes sharper, more alive. We had her back. ¡°Thank you for saving me,¡± she said. ¡°I had no other choice,¡± I said. Her ¡®good hand,¡¯ the one not in a sling, patted my shoulder. Bernadette kissed her on the bloody cheek. I¡¯m sure we all looked like hell, but Rachel was worse than I¡¯d ever seen a living person be. We had to get out of here. The three living guards worked on consolidating supplies and lining up the bodies in the ash. I helped the best I could. We got some more arrows, and a crossbow for Rachel. She said she could work it one handed but I was skeptical. We agreed that she should only use it as a last resort. Rachel gave me her belt. As soon as I put it on over my chainmail, I could feel my legs, my chest, my shoulders all swell with explosive energy. I slapped the edge of the roof and sent debris flying. My hand hurt. It didn¡¯t make me invincible, just strong. I sheathed my sword, Redeemer, and picked up Captain Wen¡¯s blade. It was an absolutely enormous claymore, well over six feet long. The pommel shone silver, but the crossguard was black iron, along with thin black wire around the grip. The blade was a beautiful pale silver, with jutting sections, parrying hooks, right above the guard. For such a massive blade, darn near eight pounds probably, it looked rather slender and elegant. I tried it out, and it was well balanced. I wasn¡¯t sure I liked it, but it was probably more useful for me now that I was out of spells. A loud noise startled me. Orange balls of fire plumed into the sky all at once, a dozen of them, each explosion half the size of a city block. The fire was full of some kind of jelly that stuck to the buildings and burned bright. Sabotage. Man, fuck this city. I pulled out my slate, and messaged the Saviors of the World group chat.
Breznik: Caleb. We have to leave. City is overrun. Rachel is down. Alive, but down. I¡¯m out of spells. Mark needs to teleport us out.
Caleb didn¡¯t reply right away. I helped one of the guards make a stretcher for Rachel using a cloak and some spears. My slate buzzed.
Caleb: I will not leave my people. You are right. The city has fallen, but they need me to escort them to safety.
Ailmer: Meet me at the clocktower. I leave at the end of the hour. With or without you.
I could see the clocktower from here. It was only seven or eight blocks. We loaded Rachel on the stretcher, and the two guards carefully carried her down the steps. We followed them, and soon we were all in the streets. I motioned to the guards that we should take a break. We hid under the eaves from the ash, and drank the rest of our water. A couple of us took turns taking a leak against the side of the building. Rude, I know, but I didn¡¯t want any of us headed into an alley on our own. I searched for my shield but wasn¡¯t able to find it. After some time, we were ready again. Bernadette looked at me expectantly. She made her hand into a ¡®duck¡¯ and mimed it speaking. Right. I should say something to these guys. ¡°We¡¯re not out of the woods yet, ya¡¯ll.¡± They looked to each other, as if surprised that I was addressing them. ¡°What¡¯re your names?¡± I asked. ¡°Duarte,¡± said a man with piercing blue eyes and a strange, gaunt face. ¡°Martim,¡± said the second man. He was heavyset, but with impressive arms. ¡°Ivone,¡± said the last one, a woman surprisingly. She was stocky, but taller than Bernie, with brown hair plastered to her face under her helmet. ¡°I am glad to meet you,¡± I said. ¡°Without you, I would have to leave my greatest friend behind. I know you must have family here.¡± They all nodded. Martim and Ivone teared up. Duarte just stared ahead. ¡°If you need to stay here, I would understand. But I ask that you help me get my friend to safety first.¡± They all nodded, each in turn. ¡°Good,¡± I said. ¡°They would like us to die. But tonight. We will disappoint them. Everyone ready? Good. Let¡¯s go.¡± We swiftly moved down the street. Martin and Ivone next to me, and Bernie and Duarte behind. I gripped my sword, and hoped that it would be enough. We met no resistance. There was also no help either. Before I could think much of it, before I could wonder where everyone had gone, I heard a voice. I raised my hand. We stopped. It had come from an alley. ¡°Yeah, I don¡¯t know where the dude went,¡± came a woman¡¯s voice. ¡°It¡¯s probably fine. He didn¡¯t know where they were. And I don¡¯t think these ¡®so called heroes¡¯ are actually in the city.¡± Bernadette nocked an arrow. I popped in my monocle, and raised my new sword. Coming from the alley was a woman in half plate, walking beside a man in a dark cloak. The woman had dark brown roots, and blonde hair in twin tails on either side of her head. The man seemed pale under his cloak. The woman read as Helena ¡ª level 14, with 146 hp. The man read as Hank ¡ª level 11, with 79 hp. Helena was obviously the bigger threat, but if Bernadette was anything to go by, just because the other one had lower levels and less hit points didn¡¯t make them any less deadly. I also noticed that they just had their first names. That was weird. Whoever they were, it didn¡¯t look like we were going to get out of this without a fight. I really didn¡¯t want to fight. Chapter 40 — We Learn about a New Quest The woman, Helena, cursed in Spanish, and leveled her massive two hander axe at me with one hand while gesturing to her friend with the other. ¡°You think that¡¯s them?¡± she asked. ¡°Watch your language,¡± the man, Hank, said. The haft of the axe rested on her shoulder, and she shrugged. It was a beautiful weapon, the haft wrapped in inlaid copper, and the axe blade twice as large as I¡¯d ever seen in real life. ¡°Papa isn¡¯t here,¡± she said. ¡°And anyway, what are you gonna do?¡± The man in the dark cape shrugged back. This had to be the Marauders. Or two of them at least. Where were the other two? ¡°We don¡¯t have to fight,¡± I said. ¡°Oh yeah?¡± Helena asked sarcastically? ¡°La neta, I wouldn¡¯t want to fight lookin¡¯ like you. Baby boi, you are fucked up.¡± How old was this woman? She seemed my age, but she didn¡¯t talk like it. And she mentioned her father? Or was it her ¡®daddy?¡¯ I¡¯m not good at figuring that stuff out. ¡°Wait,¡± I said. ¡°Are you also from earth? I¡¯m from Texas!¡± ¡°Yeah? Helena, from Chihuahua. Hank here¡¯s from Wisconsin.¡± So she was Mexican. I¡¯d failed Spanish class in high school, and I took ASL in college. I knew enough about Mexico to know where Chihuahua was though. ¡°Hey!¡± Hank remarked, seemingly upset she¡¯d given that information up. ¡°Then why are you working for the Queen of Darkness?¡± I asked. ¡°Quest says we take out the Tyrant King, and we go home.¡± ¡°Well our quest says we need to defeat the Evil Queen.¡± ¡°She¡¯s not evil!¡± Hank said incredulously. ¡°?Qu¨¦ wey est¨¢s!¡± Helena said, slapping Hank on the shoulder. ¡°Papa¡¯s marching with a hundred skeletons, we look like the bad guys.¡± ¡°Then this is all a misunderstanding!¡± I offered. ¡°Why don¡¯t we work together?¡± ¡°Mal pedo, baby boi. Different quests mean you are on the wrong side of boned.¡± She put both hands on the axe. Bernadette raised her bow. I twisted the sword in my hands enough to catch the moonlight. ¡°Am I boned? This weapon hungers for blood,¡± I said. ¡°If it tastes flesh, I don¡¯t know if I can stop it from consuming you in dark fire.¡± It was a bluff. Or at least I hoped. I had no idea what this sword did. Didn¡¯t seem like the evil cursed type, but you never knew in a world like this. ¡°?A huevo!¡± Helena replied. ¡°That just means you got sick lutz. Not making your case any better, sunshine.¡± Bernadette laughed. I¡¯m not sure why. I shook my head in frustration. Hank removed a coil of rope from his pack. ¡°I¡¯d drop your weapons, and let us tie you up. Save you all kinds of trouble.¡± ¡°Hell no,¡± Bernie said. ¡°Wait,¡± I said. ¡°Too late,¡± Bernie cut me off. She dropped a globe of darkness on the two Marauders, and ran forward. Bernie was fast. She reached the edge of the globe in seconds. I motioned for the guards to take Rachel back around the corner, and they picked her stretcher up. The hooded man stepped out, and immediately lost his head as Edge lopped it right off. Helena¡¯s huge two handed axe twirled end over end through the air, right to where I was standing. I had enough time to sidestep it. It buried the blade into the cobblestone. I was about to consider that maybe this woman was not very good at fighting, before I saw the shine. A shimmering green spray of sparks and energy swirled around the axe handle, and with a pop, Helena was right next to me, lifting the axe up for a downward blow. I thrust up with the sword, hoping to skewer her, but she just spun her body out of the way, raised the axe, and tried again. I didn¡¯t have enough time to get the sword point back, and I couldn¡¯t slice at such close quarters, so I pulled the sword up for a block. The axe crashed down, and I felt the shock run through both my arms. She was strong. Not Captain Wen strong, but stronger than me. The patter of feet revealed that Bernie was on her way. Helena disappeared into a spray of emerald sparks. Bernie''s sword point came dangerously close to me as she stabbed where Helena had been. I looked around. I couldn¡¯t see her. Laughter rang from the darkness. She¡¯d teleported back to the place she¡¯d thrown from. Clever trick. ¡°Your guy is dead!¡± I said. ¡°Give up.¡± ¡°I barely knew ¡®em,¡± she said. ¡°We just worked together. I think I still have you beat. Why don¡¯t you surrender?¡± ¡°Helena!¡± came a stern voice. Out of the opposite alley walked a distinguished looking man with a grey streaked beard, robes over chainmail, and a massive kite shield in one hand and a flanged mace in the other. He pointed his mace at the space between us and the globe of darkness, and a scintillating, spectral wall of spinning blades chewed into the cobblestone. The monocle read: Hector, level 17, and 152hp. A skinny ginger man in wizard robes walked next to him and pointed his wand at the globe of darkness, dispelling it in an instant. He didn¡¯t read in the monocle correctly. He just had broken pixels where his name should be.You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story. ¡°Papa!¡± Helena said, then sighing in frustration. ¡°I have these losers. We don¡¯t need to ¡ª¡± ¡°Boss¡¯s orders,¡± the man said. ¡°¨®rale!¡± Bernadette nocked and loosed another arrow that shattered against the wall of blades. Helena gestured at Bernie as if to say ¡®see!¡¯ The man turned, expecting her to follow. Helena rolled her eyes, and marched off into the alley, and away. We stood there for a moment, unsure how to proceed with the spinning blades of death in our way. I told the guards to sit, and take a break. I turned to Bernie and Rachel. ¡°There are other people here, like us!¡± I said. ¡°Yeah,¡± Bernadette replied. ¡°And they want to kill us.¡± Rachel just groaned. She was too messed up to really contribute. ¡°That is weird. Either somehow they¡¯re being misled or¡­¡± I trailed off. The idea that the DM could be assigning competing quests to others was kind of frightening. ¡°Good thing we¡¯ve never trusted the DM,¡± Bernie replied. I¡¯ve killed plenty of people at this point. It was honestly kind of unsetting how many, and how easy it was. But the idea of killing someone who also just wanted to go home, someone that presumably had a father here too, didn¡¯t sit well with me. ¡°Are you okay?¡± I asked Bernie. ¡°Huh. What?¡± she asked, snapping out of her introspection. ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m fine. Why wouldn¡¯t I be?¡± I just motioned to the corpse on the other side of the blade wall. ¡°I¡¯ve killed a bunch of people,¡± she said. ¡°And honestly, I had this huge bruise,¡± she motioned to her stomach, ¡°where I got punched, but with this sword¡¯s free castings of bloodfeast I¡¯m feeling much better!¡± ¡°Right, but,¡± I started to say. ¡°Drop it. This changes nothing.¡± ¡°I mean, it sort of changes everything.¡± Bernadette motioned behind me. The blade wall was over. I should have taken that as a more ominous sign, but hindsight is 20/20. ¡°We¡¯re talking about this more later,¡± I warned. ¡°Sure. Let¡¯s get the fuck out of this hellhole first.¡± We got moving again. A couple of skeletons tried to menace us as we did, but Duerte and Bernadette shot them down before they became a problem. Duerte was actually a pretty decent shot. Soon, we arrived at the barricade. Assembled from furniture and siding and window shades, the barricade was a ramshackle fortification some fifteen feet high. Bones and corpses bunched around the bottom of it, and it shone with some kind of oil or slick. Sticking his head out of a door, Cal waved us toward him. He took us through a side passage, through someone¡¯s home, and around the barricade. ¡°Where¡¯s Caleb?¡± I asked. ¡°He¡¯s with the others,¡± Cal answered. ¡°A big mass of skeletons stands between us and the castle, so he¡¯s martialing a counterattack to break through, and ferry people to the safety of the walls.¡± ¡°Good idea,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± Cal replied. ¡°I tried to get him to come with us to the Academe Arcane with Ailmer, but he¡¯s¡ª¡± ¡°Stubborn,¡± I said. ¡°Stupid,¡± Cal corrected. ¡°Do you have any healers?¡± I asked, gesturing at Rachel. ¡°Warden¡¯s balls!¡± Cal said. ¡°She is in bad shape.¡± Rachel¡¯s arm, shoulder, and neck were entirely purple. Her breathing was shallow, and sweat shined on her brow. ¡°I think we have a cleric somewhere,¡± Cal replied, ¡°I¡¯ll run ahead.¡± By the time we made it to the courtyard, a man in robes met us. He frowned at the state Rachel was in. I glanced around the plaza. A statue representing the Queen, but with Caleb¡¯s sword held high, dominated the square. Dozens of men in armor ran to and fro, from the battlements to elsewhere. A myriad criss-cross of boot prints ran through the ash that coated the cobblestone like cracks on ice. Duarte, Martim, and Ivone gave us our thanks, Ivone even giving me a hug, and then sat at a table with other guards. Martim immediately hit the ale. Ivone put her head on the table, and looked to be asleep. Duarte disappeared into a crowd. Bernadette and I sat by Rachel¡¯s side. The cleric, Luca, a balding man with nonetheless handsome features, chastised us for our shoddy work on her finger and arm. He had to break the finger to reset it correctly. The arm, he said, would need more sophisticated surgery than he could manage. But he did say that we had saved it, though even with surgery it probably would never be the same. He spent one of his precious healing spells on her, and her eyes fluttered awake. The first thing she said was: ¡°was I hallucinating, or did y''all fight some chick from Mexico?¡± ¡°Uh, she said she was from Chihuahua.¡± ¡°That¡¯s in Mexico, stupid,¡± she said, then passed out again. I was so glad she was alive. It hurt to see her like this. In that moment I hated this place. I know the people here were good people, that they needed our help, but in this moment I hated them too. My friend was hurt. She was really hurt, and as much as it was my fault for not being there, it was this place¡¯s fault too. And Captain Wen. Every time I faced her she took something from me. First it was that stupid magic crossbow, now it was my friend. Rachel was good, she was too good to be hurt like this. Would she ever be the same? Could she come back from this? I felt wetness run down my face and I wiped it away. Couldn¡¯t be tears. I was too manly, and tough for that. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I had to be good enough to get her to safety. Suddenly, a ringing came from the distance, like the sound of an alarm bell. It was faint, and though it didn¡¯t stop, was drowned out by something else. I couldn¡¯t tell what that something else was, but it almost seemed like a white noise, or rushing water. ¡°Cal?¡± I asked, ¡°what is that?¡± ¡°The sound of feet,¡± he said, pulling his bow from his back. And then after a moment, a louder ringing came from back the way we came. And then more of that same strange sound. ¡°If that¡¯s feet, it¡¯s a lot of people.¡± ¡°Not people,¡± Cal said. ¡°Then what is that ringing sound?¡± I asked. A woman with twin tails, and half plate fell as if from the sky, and landed right on our side of the barricade. She must have jumped. ¡°You want to know what that ringing is?¡± Helena asked. ¡°Damnit. Why are you here?¡± I asked. Bernie threw a dagger. Cal shot an arrow. Helena parried both in succession, with her vambrace. She didn¡¯t even take her axe off her shoulder. ¡°Go ahead, and say the thing,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s the dinner bell, bitch.¡± At that moment the skeletons, a thousand of them, slammed into the western barricade. Cal ran off to try and keep them at bay. ¡°We led you right to them,¡± I said. I put both hands on my new greatsword, and swung right at her face. She tossed her head back, and voided the attack easily. ¡°Yep. And I¡¯m just the distraction.¡± Screams from the Western barricade. Someone lit it. Then the next round of skeletons hit the Southern barricade. I looked to the East. Caleb rallied the men there. But I knew that they wouldn¡¯t hold long. Caleb had maybe a hundred fighters here. The rest were refugees, a liability. Somehow, that evil Cleric had been able to rally the skeletons, thousands of them. ¡°Bernie!¡± I said, swiping at Helena to keep her on her toes, ¡°I¡¯m getting Rachel, you distract, twintails!¡± ¡°Leaving?¡± Bernie said, tossing a kitchen knife. Helena caught the knife and tossed it at me. It bounced off my chainmail, but actually kinda hurt. Bernie led with Edge, purple energy trailing behind it. Helena gave ground, but she had plenty of it. ¡°Of course we¡¯re leaving,¡± I said. ¡°Let¡¯s go!¡± Grateful for the belt, I hauled Rachel over my shoulder. She screamed in agony. ¡°Careful with her!¡± the cleric said. ¡°Yeah, Luca, you¡¯re coming with us,¡± I said. Luca looked around frantically. ¡°I¡¯m needed here!¡± A skeleton ran up to us. Luca threw his hands forward, blasting it with a burst of light that sent it tumbling to the ground. ¡°Not up for debate,¡± I said, kicking a table over to give us some cover from skeletons that had made it to the roofs. An arrow pinged off my boot. Helena landed a kick on Bernie that sent her flying, but she managed to land on her feet. She leapt back at her before Helena could capitalize on the momentum. I ran for the clocktower. We had less than three minutes to get up there. My adrenaline Rush kicked in. Everyone around me turned a glowing red. Chapter 41 — The Academe Arcane A building to the west exploded in debris as two unicorns, honest to god unicorns with red coats and shining horns, smashed through the wall and into the square. The Cleric, Hector, followed. Behind him was the ginger, who sent a line of flame at the barricade, lighting it with defenders still on it. This was all going to shit. I ran as fast as I could. As soon as I got to the door at the base of the clocktower I kicked it open. That huge axe just barely missed my shoulder and buried itself into a wooden beam. I saw the green sparks too late. I wheeled backward, avoiding Helena¡¯s counterattack, and suddenly Bernie was there swiping with both Edge and Thorn. I ran around them. I pounded up the steps, taking them two at a time. Something slammed into my back. I glanced behind. A hatchet landed on the steps. A green shimmer, and there she was again. I swiped at her with the new greatsword, and she parried it with the haft of her axe. Bernadette ran along the wall, and lunged at her. Helena disappeared in a puff of green sparks. Bernie hit the edge of the banister, and fell over. I kept running up the steps. Eventually, I made it to the open area at the top, right under the massive gears and machinery of the clock tower. The face of the clock glowed in the moonlight. Everywhere was blue arcane light. Mark stood up from his desk. ¡°She¡¯s trying to kill us!¡± I said. ¡°Do something!¡± Another hatchet arced over the railing and landed between us. I dropped Rachel, who ragdolled to the floor, then put both hands on the sword. I was just able to parry Helena¡¯s next blow. Even with the belt, she was still monstrously strong. I parried the second blow as she went from light pink to normal. My adrenaline rush ended. Bernie leapt over the side. Luca came running up from behind me. Mark sent a firebolt at Helena. She disappeared into sparks. The bolt hit me straight in the chest. It hurt like hell, like someone threw a softball at my chest, but my breastplate tanked it. ¡°Watch it!¡± ¡°How was I supposed to know?¡± Mark complained. Green sparks shimmered around the hatchet again. Bernie tossed a dagger, too soon, it went right through. Helena appeared, spun, and swung at me again. I stepped back to let the swing pass, then stepped in with a lunge at the gap in her armor near her shoulder. She swung back and batted my sword out of the way. ¡°I can¡¯t cast the spell when she¡¯s in the way!¡± Mark said. ¡°Then she¡¯ll come with!¡± ¡°What about Cal?¡± he asked. ¡°He can catch up later,¡± I said, parrying another terrible blow from the axe. ¡°Just do it!¡± Helena tossed another hatchet behind her, and shunted away just as Bernadette lunged for her. A teleportation circle began tracing itself on the floor. Just then, in a surge of electricity, appeared Braelyn. ¡°Do something about her!¡± I said, as Helena lifted her axe for another strike. Braelyn pointed her wand at Helena, and sent a shiver of electricity over her body. Helena froze in place, contorting her face in pain. The teleportation circle went off. And suddenly I was soaring over Vesperalis as if a ghost, flying above it at a thousand miles per hour. No, faster. I screamed across the country so fast the world blurred below me. And then I was standing in front of a tower in the snow. I leapt on Helena, tore the axe from her hands, and pulled her into a bear hug. ¡°How long does this thing last?¡± I asked Braelyn. ¡°Seconds,¡± she replied. ¡°Get rope,¡± I said. Luca had rope. The paralysis wore off before we were finished tying her arms, but at that point she had three pairs of hands to keep her down. I¡¯d never really tied a woman up before, so I was a little weirded out by it, but it had to be done. She snarled and tried to bite, yelled long strings of course language at us in Spanish, and even managed to draw blood from a headbutt. Not that I blamed her. I would have done the same thing. Except bite. For some reason that just seemed out of line. ¡°You have a prison?¡± I asked. ¡°The tower has a dungeon,¡± Mark sighed. ¡°Good,¡± I replied. ¡°But first things first,¡± I glanced around and grabbed Luca by the arm. ¡°Make sure Rachel is taken care of.¡± Braeyln burst into tears, but helped Luca carry Rachel inside. The days went by quickly. But first, let me give you an understanding of where we were ¡ª Mark¡¯s tower was an imposing, smooth skyscraper, not quite a hundred floors tall. Hundreds of glowing points of light in the black stone revealed to be windows, but only the upper floors had balconies. They ringed around the spire as it came to a point. The whole thing had something of a look like a chess piece, a blocky, tiered bishop maybe. The inside was plush, well furnished, and lit with arcane light. It was truly a marvel. Every floor had a colleague or a student, hundreds of them across the whole tower. Part scholarly campus, part magical research center, and all under Mark¡¯s supervision, we had damn near all the help we would ever need. And we needed it. The head of the necromancy floor, Quentin, or just Q, handled surgery. Chiseled features, imposing frame, with a square jaw and perpetual stubble, he had more the look of an Old Hollywood private eye than a professor. The look of weariness, the bags under his eyes, clashed with his ready smile, and agreeable nature. Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators! And while he had no powerful healing magic, no more so than me, he was an expert in corpses and anatomy. Luca provided the healing. I insisted on being there too, and so I handled the sleep spells that kept her under. It took a day and a half of careful work. First the bone was broken, then reattached with sturdy copper wire, then thinner wire and sutures for the muscle and tendons. The arteries had mostly been healed where they needed through my magic, but smaller blood vessels needed replication. The most difficult and time consuming process was the nerves. After we were done, I slept for 12 hours straight. I didn¡¯t dream of Berryhop anymore. I was grateful, but not sure why. Upon waking, I tried to get a sense for where I was. I had a double dormitory all to myself. The other bed had been made, sheets pulled tight. A single desk waited to be shared. A small waist-high nearly empty bookshelf sat near it, and the window opposite let in the harsh light of the sun and snow. Simple accommodations for home, down right luxurious for this world. I checked my slate. A couple messages and a level up notification. I¡¯d deal with that latter. I thought for a moment about using the bedpan provided, then decided better of it and crossed the room groggily. I grabbed one of the two books on the shelf. The first was an introductory pamphlet about the history and norms of the Academe Arcane. The other was a hefty tome entitled ¡®The Math of Magic¡¯ by Marcus Justinius Ailmer. I tossed it on the desk, then made my way across the hall to the shared lavatory. It was far more sophisticated than anything I¡¯d seen elsewhere here, but mostly revealed itself to be a large outhouse with a magically refreshing water basin. When I returned to the dorm, I found a small piece of paper folded on the desk. It was a letter. Zachary, I know that we¡¯ve been through a lot lately, and because of it, I wanted to unburden you of this conversation in a way that is most comfortable for us both. When you are ready, I should still be in the mess hall for the rest of the night. Come meet me, and maybe we can eat. Maybe we can practice our songs. As for your confession, and the situation we¡¯re in¡­ I find myself unable to say the things that I feel like you want to hear from me. Not because I do not have feelings for you, but precisely because I feel for you deeply. I¡¯m worried the words will cheapen it. But more than that, I am worried that it will change things. I have come to rely on you more than any other person I know. So much so, that it¡¯s scary. What if, in giving in to a typical romantic and sexual relationship, we compromise it in some way? I know there are a dozen things you may want to say to change my mind, and I will be glad to hear it. Later. We have only just landed. We have only just started to breathe again. Let¡¯s breathe. We can talk about what the words mean later. Yours, Bernadette I folded the paper, and slipped it into Mark¡¯s stupid magic book. I thought about going down to see Bernadette, to maybe check on Rachel too, but I decided I wasn¡¯t ready. I needed to look at numbers. I opened my slate and immediately leveled up Bard to 5. Fifth level was huge for most classes, but I didn¡¯t get a whole lot that changed my build. I basically just got better at the stuff I already did.
Beznik of the Red Hand the level 4 Mageknight and level 5 War Bard Hit Points 67, Armor Class 12 STR 12 (+1) DEX 14 (+2) CON 14 (+2) INT 13 (+1) WIS 10 (+0) CHA 16 (+3) Items: none Abilities from Fighter: Adrenaline Rush (170% time dilation, double movement speed) and Second Chance (Twice per day heal +25% HP), Sympathetic Weapon (you may place a weapon you have sympathy with in a dimensional pocket space and remove it at will). Spellcasting. Abilities from Bard: Dazzling Strikes (weapons attacks give off sparks, potentially distracting opponents). Inspiring Words (+60% movement speed, 10% instant healing, and +30% extra damage modifier to a party member of your choice). Improved Inspiration (You add your charisma bonus to the damage allies inflict while under your inspiration, and your Inspiring Words refresh twice as fast). Student of War (extra weapon damage equal to CHA bonus). Spellcasting. Skills: History, Performance, Persuasion, Social Drinking
Basically I got a buff to Inspiring Words, and I got some effort values added to my dexterity. I also was able to choose a new third level spell. At-Will Spells¡ª Little Light Mend Item Tiny Tricks First level spells¡ª Bubble Charm Person Command Curse, Minor Heal Light Wounds Healing Phrase Sleep Second Level Spells¡ª Invisible Shatter Ward Third Level Spells¡ª Mass Healing Phrase I chose Mass Healing Phrase because, well, I¡¯d be an idiot not to. It was the absolute most important spell as a healer. If I¡¯d had a chance to use it in that last fight with Captain Wen, I may have been able to¡­ well I¡¯m not sure. She kicked all three of our asses pretty handily. I couldn¡¯t figure out what to choose for the spell phrase yet, and resolved to do it later once I had a chance to mull it over. The sword leaned against my bed. This was the weapon that had taken my friend''s arm, that I¡¯d just spent damn near two days trying to repair. I wanted to throw it out the window, and never think of it again. I decided to check its stats anyway: Certainty +4. This sword was commissioned by an elven princess as a symbol of her undying affection for a knight sworn to her service. Sadly, her father didn¡¯t approve of their illicit affair, and sent the knight away before she could present him with the weapon. This is a masterwork of elven craftsmanship. It possesses the qualities sharp, and sturdy. Once per dawn, you may say the phrase ¡®good morning princess¡¯ and any class abilities that are on cooldown will refresh. ¡®Sturdy¡¯ was a new one. The tooltip said that wielders of sturdy weapons more greatly resist being knocked from their feet. The ¡®good morning princess¡¯ got a chuckle from me. What a wild thing to have to say in battle, but I presumed it held some kind of significance to the person who commissioned it. Having found that I¡¯d dallied around in my room for long enough, I left the sword against my bed and walked out into the hall. I ran into Rachel. She wore a sleeveless undershirt and shorts. Her arm still in her sling, the scars and sutures on her shoulder red and ugly looking. She really shouldn¡¯t be up yet. The magical healing had basically cut her required bed rest after surgery into nothing, but the physical therapy on the arm would still be pretty intense, and she needed the sleep to recover from the rest of the trauma the fight had put her through. ¡°Hey,¡± she said, scratching at her sutures, then thinking better of it, and pointedly putting her hand at her side. ¡°I thought you were a floor up,¡± I said. ¡°I am, but I wanted to walk around.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± I said. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you be¡ª¡± ¡°Also, I wanted to thank you for helping to get my arm back.¡± ¡°You¡¯re welcome,¡± I said. ¡°But professor Q was the one with the real expertise. I mostly just kept you under with sleep spells.¡± ¡°Oh. Handy,¡± she said. Then looking around a bit said, ¡°you want to go get a drink?¡± ¡°Would that interfere with the recovery?¡± ¡°My liver ain¡¯t in my arm, bud.¡± ¡°Good point,¡± I admitted. We managed to find some alchemy students just south of the mess hall who sold hootch, and brought a small keg of it up to my dorm. I saw Bernadette on the way, but she seemed busy singing ballads. Plus, Rachel needed me more. She hadn¡¯t said it, but I could tell she wanted company. I offered to let her take the other bed, she agreed, and after drinking and playing some cards she went back to sleep. I didn¡¯t sleep for many hours past that, well into early morning. Just as I was getting ready for bed, I checked my messages. Bonus Chapter 2 [Good/Trustworthy] Genius Gnome, Berryhop Springwillow HP: 22 (5d6+5), AC: 11, SPD: 25ft STR 8 (-1) DEX 13 (+1) CON 12 (+1) INT 11 (+0) WIS 14 (+2) CHA 11 (+0) Example DC: 12; CR: 1 (prof +2) Abilities and Attacks ¡ª Strange Mixture. +4 to hit, range 40 feet, 5ft radius. Hit: 8 (2d6+2) acid damage. Targets that take this damage, also take an additional 1d4 acid damage at the start of each of its turns. A creature can end this damage by using its action to make a DC 12 Dexterity check to scrape the gunk from them. If they submerge themselves in water, the material washes away. Small Stature. Berryhop may take the Disengage, or Hide actions as a bonus action. She can also Hide behind medium or larger creatures. Foraging Expert. Berryhop can make 1 potion of Uncommon rarity or lower (such as a potion of hill giant¡¯s strength or a potion of healing) if she spends at least 8 hours in a day foraging for rare alchemical materials. If she has at least two other creatures helping her, she can do this task in 4 hours. Additional help does not make this task quicker, as she is forced to correct other¡¯s foraging.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. Quick Description: This gnome girl has an easygoing, gap toothed smile, and a dogged determination to carry a massive wicker basket of mushrooms without complaint. Her curly white hair is tied back in a ponytail, but for a single pink strand that she twists absentmindedly when she talks. More information: Berryhop¡¯s fantastic skills as a forager is one of the primary things keeping the Springwillow family (some score or so people) from poverty. She also has a near photographic memory, and can draw likenesses of mushrooms or people alike, after even the briefest moment of study. Berryhop¡¯s greatest secret, though, is that she is a genius alchemist and potion maker. Goal: Berryhop¡¯s deepest desire is to become an adventurer. Since her family is financially reliant on her income, she is reluctant to travel further than a day or so from home. Complication: Despite being in her mid thirties, she is also a hopeless romantic and prone to school girl crushes irrespective of gender or sapient fantasy species. This makes her a poor judge of character. Loot: Berryhop and her family are not wealthy. She has 1 silver and 8 copper tucked into her apron. In addition to 4 of her Strange Mixture potions, she also has 1 potion of resistance to acid. She carries an oversized basket of mushrooms that can serve as 5 days rations. Quest Hook: Berryhop has no ambitions of her own, but is willing to adventure with folk that seem kind and altruistic. As long as this adventure takes her no further than a day or so travel. It would take a catastrophic disaster for her to leave her family behind. Chapter 42 — We Settle On Terms Rachel didn¡¯t snore. She must be sleeping in fits and starts. Luca assured me that the pain in her shoulder wouldn¡¯t be too great, but I was starting to think that maybe that was bullshit. He¡¯d probably never had to take care of such a dramatic surgery. I debated on getting her some meds, but didn¡¯t want to wake her to administer them. If she was sleeping, then I should let her sleep. Sitting under the window, the moonlight off the snow painted a rectangle of light on the floor in front of me. I pulled out my slate. The first message I clicked on was from Caleb¡¯s ¡®Saviors of the Worlds I Guess.¡¯ Caleb: We made it to the palace. I will not be updating the main chat anymore, for obvious reasons. Caleb: Sofia? Go fuck yourself. The next message was a direct chat from Sofia. Inara: I don¡¯t want you to think that just because you got caught between me and Caleb, that any duress you may have suffered was intentional on my part. If you were hurt at all because of the mess we¡¯ve made, I am sorry. I strangled an involuntary growl of frustration. That pissed me the hell off. I¡¯d never really been mad at a woman like this before. Sure my college girlfriend broke my heart, but in hindsight we weren¡¯t a good match anyway, and I came around to that fact pretty quick. And sure, I¡¯d been mad at my mom before, but this was on another level. Maybe it was the idea that in some way, I¡¯d idolized her that made it hurt worse. Maybe the fact that I¡¯d been one of the few people that thought she could be redeemed, made what she did sting. I certainly didn¡¯t think her apology was very good. I texted her back. Breznik: If I was hurt? I¡¯m fine. Your lap dog cut my friend''s arm off. So forgive me if I¡¯m not in a great place to accept your apologies. I got a response immediately. Inara: Who? Breznik: Rachel Inara: Ah. For what it is worth, I truly am sorry. I liked Rachel. Is she okay? Breznik: She¡¯s fine. I spent 2 days putting her arm back on right, but she¡¯s fine. Inara: Good. I¡¯m glad. I can tell that I¡¯ve upset you, and for that, again, I am sorry. But you must know Inara: If you had just joined me, none of this would have happened. I wanted to throw my slate against the wall. I didn¡¯t. I kept down the scream that wanted to explode from me. It trickled out of my clenched teeth in a low growl. Rachel stirred in her sleep. I typed and retyped my response several times, unsure if I should say anything at all. Eventually I went with this. Breznik: Youre obsession with me is weird. The apology is insincere. Get fucked. Inara: your* Inara: I can tell you¡¯re upset right now. But I don¡¯t think I deserve to be talked to like this. Perhaps later when you¡¯re in the mood to be more civil. Inara: Good night. ¡°What a bitch,¡± I said to myself, maybe just a little too loud. I was too wound up to sleep, so I decided to take a shower. I¡¯d only showered once upon getting here, so it was a long time coming. I grabbed a towel, some fresh cotton undershorts, and a long sleeved shirt from the chest at the foot of the bed. Oh, the showers! This place had something very similar to modern showers. They were communal, essentially gym showers, little stalls with a curtain, but after months of lukewarm wooden tubs, a hot shower was revelatory. And at this time of night I had them all to myself. Now that I was clean, damp, and a little cold because of it, I ran across the hall to jump under my covers. I almost didn¡¯t see her. Perched on the wall near the ceiling like some kind of nerdy, theater kid spider, was Bernadette. ¡°Hi,¡± I said. ¡°Um, hey,¡± she responded. ¡°You want to come down, or are you up there for the night?¡± She laughed, and walked down the wall to stand near me. ¡°I¡¯m kinda cold,¡± I said. ¡°So let me tip toe in, and get some clothes.¡± ¡°Tip toe?¡± she asked, suddenly suspicious. ¡°Yeah. Rachel¡¯s sleeping, and I don¡¯t want to wake her.¡± ¡°Oh,¡± she said, relaxing. ¡°How is she?¡± ¡°Could be better. All the magical healing she got means that she isn¡¯t bedridden, but recovery isn¡¯t just physical, yeah?¡± ¡°Right,¡± Bernie replied. She looked at me with apprehension. ¡°You got my letter?¡± ¡°Yeeep.¡± ¡°Okay. So. I wanted to take it back but when I got into your room I saw that you put it in the book, which means you read it so¡ª¡± ¡°You snuck into my room?¡± ¡°Yeah. I wanted to take it back.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± I wrapped my arms around my chest to keep some heat in. The halls were a little drafty. Bernie ran her tongue behind her lips, and shuffled in place a bit. ¡°I¡¯m not sure I meant all that. I just wrote it in a hurry, and¡ª¡± I stepped closer. Maybe just to feel a little warmer, or something, I don¡¯t know why. ¡°We don¡¯t have to do this in the hall,¡± I said, whispering. ¡°Do what?¡± she whispered back. ¡°Why were you stalking outside my room?¡± ¡°I wasn''t ¡®stalking,¡¯ I was perching.¡± ¡°Perching then, why?¡± I was suddenly tired of this dance we¡¯ve been doing, this thing where I¡¯d move forward, and she¡¯d move away. If she wanted to break up with me, maybe she should. Then I looked at her eyes. Those didn¡¯t look like ¡®break up¡¯ eyes. What was happening? I let out a breath I didn¡¯t know I¡¯d been holding.Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings. ¡°I shouldn¡¯t have come here,¡± she said, and then turned to walk away. I grabbed her shoulder, and she let me whirl her back around. ¡°Just tell me what you¡¯re thinking,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m scared!¡± I waited for her to say more. I knew that there was something to wait for, but I didn¡¯t know what. ¡°I love you too,¡± she said. ¡°Oh.¡± ¡°But I¡¯ve never felt like this before,¡± she continued. ¡°I¡¯ve never done this, and it¡¯s scary.¡± ¡°You love me?¡± I said incredulously. ¡°Since when?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know! Since you brought me back to life. Fuck, maybe since goddamn Berryhop. Since cold nights in that stupid tent. Since, forever.¡± ¡°Why am I just learning this now?¡± ¡°Maybe you weren¡¯t paying attention.¡± I hadn¡¯t fully learned this lesson yet, but here I thought that maybe since I was winning, I shouldn¡¯t actually say anything. So, I swallowed any comeback I had. Instead, I kissed her. I could feel her warm body through her cotton shirt, and her cold hands pressed against our chests, and I squeezed my arm around her tighter, and she melted into me. It was passionate, and hard, and I wanted to keep her pressed against me forever. I finally knew she wanted me, and I wanted her to be mine too, and I didn¡¯t have time for joy because the certainty of our want for each other had welded us together into this single diamond-like shape. I stopped kissing her, and held her away from me. ¡°I¡¯m glad you told me,¡± I said. ¡°What did I say?¡± she asked facetiously. ¡°Was I saying something?¡± ¡°You were saying how you¡¯ve always loved me.¡± ¡°Yeah, well, you love me too.¡± ¡°It¡¯s the only thing I think about. Or at least it¡¯s what I think about more than anything. Just how much I love you, and how much I want you to be happy. And also not dying.¡± ¡°Of course,¡± she agreed. Then said, ¡°you know what would make me happy?¡± ¡°What?¡± Bernadette bopped her head along as if she were going through some kind of speech in her head. ¡°I think you need to come up to my room,¡± she said finally. ¡°Really?¡± I asked. ¡°Should I go grab my clothes, first?¡± ¡°Nope.¡± ¡°Got it,¡± I said. She took my hand, and led me down the hall. On our way up the steps I asked, ¡°shouldn¡¯t we get some supplies?¡± ¡°I got hooch, and some cider to mix with it.¡± I stopped. She turned on the steps to look at me. ¡°No, I mean,¡± I said, miming putting a condom on over my finger. ¡°Oh!¡± she said, then thought for a second. ¡°No. Just pull out, I guess.¡± ¡°I can do that,¡± I said. ¡°If you don¡¯t, it¡¯ll be the last time. So, no mistakes.¡± ¡°Wouldn¡¯t dream of it,¡± I said. We made it to the hall outside her room and I put my arm around her as we walked. She leaned her head against me. Then we were at her door. ¡°No roommate?¡± I asked. ¡°Not yet,¡± she said, opening the door and letting me walk in first. I did. Her room was uncommonly messy for someone that had only been here less than three days. But I didn¡¯t have much time to take it in before she slammed the door shut, and leapt on me. Okay. So, look. Some things, some details, they¡¯re just for me. After, she wore my shirt, and nothing else. I lay on top of the covers trying to catch my breath. The coolness of the stone building was comforting on my sweaty bare skin. ¡°How much do you want?¡± she asked, pouring some hooch into a cup then moving to the mason jar of cider. ¡°Oh, uh, can I just have a little of yours?¡± I asked. ¡°Yeah, sure,¡± she said, sitting at the edge of the bed. I¡¯d already drank with Rachel today, plus I wanted to sear every moment of tonight into my memory. She took a sip and offered some to me. I sat up and took the cup. The alcohol and sweet cider was thick on my tongue and the drink burned in my chest. The moonlight lit the edge of her face and her damp hair, and the curve of her neck, and I could feel the moment becoming special and important as I was living it. I knew the memory would be one I came back to again, and again in my heart and in my dreams. I handed the mug back. ¡°Do we need to have a ¡®setting expectations¡¯ conversation?¡± she asked. ¡°Do you want to?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not sure we need to. We¡¯re exclusive. Anything more should probably wait til we get home.¡± ¡°Should we tell people?¡± I asked. ¡°I don¡¯t think we could keep the secret if we wanted.¡± ¡°Fair,¡± I said. ¡°Do I introduce you as my girlfriend?¡± She screwed her face up a little. ¡°My lover?¡± I offered. ¡°Ew, no.¡± ¡°What do we call each other?¡± She thought for a moment, then said, ¡°I guess I¡¯m okay with ¡®partner.¡¯¡± ¡°Ooh,¡± I hissed facetiously, ¡°that¡¯s a pretty strong term.¡± I was being playful, but it also was true that it was a very strong term. In hindsight, it was surprising that it didn¡¯t bother me more. Maybe that just meant she had truly captured my heart. ¡°Oh, is it?¡± she responded. ¡°Yeah, almost like we love each other or something.¡± ¡°Shut up,¡± she said with a smile. ¡°I like ¡®partner,¡¯ I know you¡¯re bi, and I think it honors that. But we also fight together, travel together. It¡¯s nice.¡± ¡°I thought so too,¡± she said. ¡°Oh! And how often are we doing, you know, this.¡± ¡°Sex?¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°As often as we like, I guess. Certainly when we have privacy.¡± ¡°So are we going to start using condoms?¡± ¡°The sheepskin sorta weirds me out.¡± ¡°Then what are we¡ª¡± ¡°Oh!¡± she interrupted, ¡°I have an IUD. At least I should. I haven¡¯t been having my periods.¡± It just occurred to me that she hadn¡¯t been complaining about it. And I hadn¡¯t seen her use the tea that Rachel uses. I should have been able to put two and two together, but that just goes to show how incredibly observant I was. ¡°What? What do you mean you should? Don¡¯t they stay active for years?¡± ¡°They do,¡± she said. ¡°But I did fall through a magic portal in time and space, Zachary. I haven¡¯t exactly been to my gynecologist to get it checked. But I know it¡¯s there at least.¡± ¡°That makes sense. Wait, why did you make me pull out then?¡± ¡°I need to know I can trust you. If you can¡¯t do that much¡­¡± ¡°Ah. Well, I hope I¡¯ve proven that I can take direction.¡± ¡°Yes, you certainly can.¡± She took another sip of her booze then slid across the bed to lean against the wall perpendicular to me. She put her bare legs over mine. We stayed like that for a while, just basking in each other¡¯s silent company. I broke the silence. ¡°Sofia tried to apologize,¡± I admitted. ¡°Yeah?¡± Her eyebrow shot up. ¡°What did she say?¡± ¡°Mostly just that she¡¯s ¡®sorry if I got hurt¡¯ and that ¡®it¡¯s really my fault because I didn¡¯t join her.¡¯¡± ¡°Oh, what a bitch. What did you say back?¡± ¡°I told her to ¡®get fucked¡¯ in those exact words.¡± ¡°Nice,¡± she said, taking another sip. ¡°What a mess. Any chance of us all getting back together is ruined.¡± ¡°Looks that way,¡± I said. ¡°What do you think about the fact that there are others here?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think it matters much. Not sure how this place works exactly, but there¡¯ll probably always be people that end up here. Not really our business.¡± ¡°Sure, but shouldn¡¯t we try to get them on our side?¡± ¡°You¡¯re so sweet,¡± she said, lazily trailing her fingertip over the muscles of my calf. ¡°Could we trust them?¡± ¡°Doesn¡¯t the fact that we¡¯re stuck here together give us a common cause?¡± ¡°Maybe. But a common cause didn¡¯t make us suddenly all join hands, and sing kumbaya back where we¡¯re from. Why would it make a difference here?¡± ¡°Stakes are higher? Bad guys back home want to screw us out of a livelihood. Bad guys here want us dead.¡± ¡°Fair point,¡± she said, handing me her mug. I took it and drank. ¡°Maybe we can keep that in mind when we interrogate her.¡± I hummed my assent, and handed her the mug back. ¡°What do we know so far?¡± I asked. ¡°Not much,¡± she said. ¡°Me and Mark tried to get her to talk but she¡¯s been pretty quiet. Only asked that we help her out of her armor. Didn¡¯t try to escape. So, there¡¯s that. Her slate is open, but the message app is password locked.¡± ¡°You can do that?¡± ¡°Apparently.¡± She handed me the cup, I drank some, and we gazed at each other the way that people do when they were absolutely out of their mind in love with the other. I thought back to the moment I saw her singing in the mess. I was reminded of all the times we had been at a tavern, and people would just start up a song. People here didn¡¯t need a bard, though they appreciated them, and they didn¡¯t care about how good they were, though many were well practiced. People sang as they worked. People sang just because. It wasn¡¯t just a thing you did at school, then left languish, or something you did to make money, or something you did alone in your car. People sang here for the joy of it. They sang together. ¡°People sing more here,¡± I said, handing her the cup back. ¡°Nice segue there, bud,¡± she responded, taking the drink. ¡°I was just thinking that here ain¡¯t all bad. The monsters suck, and the kingdoms are oppressive, and everyone wants to kill us, but there¡¯s music.¡± ¡°Hmm, you¡¯re right. Nobody seems afraid to sing. I had a boyfriend once that said I had an awful voice.¡± ¡°Oh, fuck that guy.¡± ¡°I think he was insecure. But people don¡¯t seem insecure about it here.¡± ¡°For what it¡¯s worth,¡± I said, ¡°I like your voice.¡± ¡°Of course you do,¡± she replied. ¡°No, really.¡± Bernadette drank a big gulp of her drink, set it on the floor, and said, ¡°okay, enough talk, lover boy. Come here.¡± She crawled across the bed toward me. There is something so sensual about the simple movement of a woman toward you with intent: the moonlight, the shape of muscles under skin, the tuck of a knowing smile. Another moment to sear into memory. There was just one problem. ¡°Hey, ah,¡± I said, ¡°I don¡¯t know what you got in mind, but twice in an hour is a lot and¡ª¡± ¡°Oh, I think I can get you there,¡± she said. Chapter 43 — A DM Versus Player Mentality Chapter 43 When I sat down to write this, I thought that this part was the part that I¡¯d be most excited to write. These days of joy and misery were full to bursting. But now that I get to it, I find myself wanting to hold onto most of it, to keep it close to me. I think the telling, though, can help me remember. Maybe I can see it more clearly if I let it go. The days after Bernadette and I became an item, were full of late night rendezvous, and stolen kisses in hallways, and also a lot of pain as Rachel recovered, and bad news as word of Caleb and the refugees trickled in. Bernie had added Caleb to the Kill Crew, but he hardly talked. Braelyn spent time teleporting to him, and back often, and so we learned more that way. The greatest tragedy in those days was news of King Caleb¡¯s middle son, Pelas, succumbing to his injuries and dying. My work with Luca meant that I had learned more about magical healing now. Magical healing was supernatural in its effectiveness, but not as great as we imagined in The Game of our world. Spells to return the dead to life did exist, and Caleb had one, but they only worked on people freshly dead. A well preserved, and intact corpse was needed for resurrection magic. Even from the most powerful of clerics. So, some injuries or methods of death did not allow for revival. Removing the head, reportedly, is one. Though Luca theorized that it could be overcome should the head be reattached in the seconds of its removal. Another method to keep the dead from being brought back to life was void magic. Wounds caused by void magic could not be healed before first banishing the curse, and if one dies while under the voidcurse, something else can take your place. And some individuals just¡­ refused to return to living. Sometimes their spirit simply could not be reached. The case of Pelas was one such case. Reportedly, Caleb shut down. Prince Xander and Queen Cerelia were forced to step up to replace him. Braelyn mentioned talk of moving up Xander¡¯s coronation, but that was one of the few things Caleb had explicitly refused. I wished there was something I could do to help. But I was needed here. On the sixth day of staying at the Academe Arcane, it was decided that the whole crew, minus Caleb, would try interrogating Helena. That morning I woke refreshed and ready to take on the day, as Bernie had let me retire early the night before instead of, you know, keep her company until late into the night. Rachel was already at the mess hall, listening to Braelyn talk, and rubbing her bad shoulder absentmindedly. ¡°I need you,¡± I sang, putting my hand on her good shoulder. She looked back at me, shocked at first, then conflicted. I could see a war between contempt that I would dare to assume she needed help, and relief because the pain did lessen. Magical healing didn¡¯t only heal, it soothed. In the end she just nodded her thanks. I sat down next to her, and said good morning to both. The mess hall was mostly one large room, with rows and rows of long tables, no shock there, but with many more windows to let in natural light along with the arcane lamps. Most had already taken their food, delivered on trays carried by dumbwaiter from the ground floor, to their spots or to their dorms. Several returned trays at a row of dumbwaiters on the opposite side of the room. ¡°What¡¯s the news?¡± I asked. ¡°Still can¡¯t get into her messages, but we have her stats now,¡± said Rachel, as she handed me a crystal slate.
Helena the level 14 Fey Fighter. HP 146, AC 13 (unarmored) STR 21 (+5) DEX 17 (+3) CON 19 (+4) INT 11 (+0) WIS 10 (+0) CHA 13 (+1) Items: None Abilities: Adrenaline Rush (170% time dilation, double movement speed). Beguiling Muscles (add your strength bonus to charisma skill checks). Fey Aggression (teleport to any weapon that has been thrown in the last five minutes, at will, with a three second cooldown). Improved Fey Aggression (you may use your teleportation feature three times before cooldown). Second Chance (Twice per day heal +25% HP). Spellcasting. Boons: Boon of Strength (Set your Strength cap at 26 and increase the attribute by 5) Skills: Athletics, Deception, Persuasion, Sleight of Hand, Social Drinking
¡°She¡¯s strong,¡± I said, handing the slate back. ¡°But her mental stats aren¡¯t too impressive. We could probably trick her.¡± ¡°Sure,¡± Braelyn said, ¡°but is that the correct play?¡± ¡°What have we tried?¡± I asked. ¡°Not much,¡± Braelyn admitted. ¡°Mostly just impressed upon her the importance of talking for good treatment.¡± ¡°Good treatment?¡± Rachel asked. ¡°Have we been treating her harshly?¡± ¡°Depends,¡± Braelyn said. ¡°She gets food and water. Basic necessities, but we haven¡¯t been letting her read or play games.¡± ¡°Solitary confinement?¡± I asked. ¡°Not exactly,¡± Braelyn replied. ¡°She can be pretty chatty with the guards I¡¯m told.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± I didn¡¯t know a lot about the ethics of imprisonment, but I knew solitary was actual torture. As was withholding sanitary products, or sleep deprivation. So, nothing set my alarm bells off. The very little I understood about proper interrogation I got from cop shows, and spy novels. What I knew about it, you had to make them your friend, make them feel like the interrogator was doing their best to help in a system that sought to crush you. This was a glorified school. So, I wasn¡¯t sure how scary it was by reputation. But if it was tied to Caleb, he seemed to have intimidated the whole continent. But she wasn¡¯t a native. She was from our world. Caleb¡¯s reputation may not help us. ¡°What are you thinking?¡± Rachel asked. ¡°Not sure. Have we talked to the DM yet?¡± I asked. Rachel cut her eyes at Braelyn, then back to me. ¡°I¡¯m not sure Braelyn knows much about them,¡± she said. ¡°Well, why not tell her?¡± I asked. ¡°Would she believe¡ª¡± ¡°What¡¯s this?¡± Braelyn asked. I decided to spill the beans to her. Caleb trusted her with his slate for years. And she was sort of our biggest NPC ally. I told her that the Dungeon Master is the one that brought us here. We didn¡¯t know this for sure, but it made for a better story. And that he was responsible for leading us through The Game. She already knew we were from another world, that was part of the prophecy, but she attributed it to her religion, that of the Warden Who Provides. ¡°So you¡¯re saying that you believe this person you communicate with through the magic slates, is like the Warden?¡± I looked to Rachel, who answered. ¡°We don¡¯t know anything about ¡®the Warden¡¯ other than as a source for swear words. But the DM gives us quests and updates our slate¡¯s abilities.¡±Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. ¡°Interesting,¡± she said, taking a bite of a sweet roll. After chewing daintily and swallowing, she said, ¡°but you haven¡¯t explained why you don¡¯t trust them.¡± ¡°If they were trustworthy,¡± Rachel said, ¡°they would be more forthcoming about why we¡¯re here, and what we need to do.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you need to defeat the former promised hero, and current bane of all the world, Inara?¡± Bernadette and I had unpacked some of our feelings about that particular revelation, that Sofia was also the Evil Queen, but we hadn¡¯t really all talked about it as a group. I was furious at her, but also conflicted. Bernadette seemed to see it very black and white: Sofia needed to be put down. I was so upset with her that I didn¡¯t argue, but something didn¡¯t feel right to me, even now. Even now that she seemed so callous, so far gone. But I was also lost in the wake of the incredible violence she had caused, the hurt to my friends, and in my newfound love affair, so I didn¡¯t dwell on it much. ¡°Sure,¡± I said, acknowledging her statement. Just then, arcane lights flickered and dimmed, indicating the change of the hours. ¡°Ah!¡± Braelyn said, ¡°I must meet Gate Captain Bibblepuck. Loop me in if you decide anything big.¡± She gave Rachel¡¯s hand a squeeze and left. I had a dumb idea. But I hadn¡¯t heard anyone mention it, yet. ¡°So, speaking of the DM,¡± I said, ¡°what if we just asked to go home?¡± ¡°Shit,¡± Rachel responded. ¡°Why didn¡¯t we think of that before? What if he says yes? What if it¡¯s that fucking simple.¡± ¡°I doubt it,¡± I said, and Rachel made a noise of agreement. ¡°But we should probably still ask the asshole.¡± I took my slate out of my new Academy satchel, and messaged the DM right away.
Breznik: Do we have to complete the quest to go home? Could we have just gone home any time we wanted?
I stared at the slate for a moment, and upon seeing no response, let my arms hang at my sides. Bernadette walked in, and slapped my ass. ¡°Hey!¡± I said. She gave me a quick peck on the lips. ¡°Y''all are disgusting,¡± Rachel remarked. Bernadette shrugged. I gave a smile that I hoped was apologetic, then wrapped my arm around her. She squeezed me back, removed herself, and sat next to Rachel. ¡°What are we doing?¡± Bernie asked, grabbing a sweet roll. ¡°We were figuring how best to approach interrogating Helena,¡± Rachel said. ¡°Before your¡­ partner?¡± ¡°Partner,¡± Bernie agreed. Revelations of our newly committed romantic relationship went over fairly well. They¡¯d been rooting for us all along, after all. Rachel quickly moved into a position of disapproval of heterosexual PDA, but I felt like that was mostly just in good fun. If there was any ¡®best friend becomes jealous of the friend who landed a girlfriend¡¯ vibes, I would have picked up on it. Right? If there were, that just meant that Rachel had to man up, and actually ask Braelyn out. The fact she wasn¡¯t actively hitting that, when Braelyn was sending out all the signals made no sense to me. Braelyn, before she left, had her hand actively on top of Rachel¡¯s! From what little I knew about women who like women, that was basically hussy behavior. ¡°Before your partner messaged the DM,¡± Rachel continued, ¡°asking if he could go home without finishing the quest.¡± ¡°Shit,¡± Bernadette said, chewing rudely, ¡°why didn¡¯t we think of that sooner?¡± ¡°He hasn¡¯t messaged me¡ª¡± I said, right as my slate vibrated.
DM: Now, where would be the fun in that?
¡°Hold on,¡± I said. ¡°What did he say?¡± Rachel asked. I messaged him back, typing furiously.
Breznik: Rachel lost her arm, and Caleb lost his son. I don¡¯t think we¡¯re having a whole lot of fun.
DM: Oh really? And where did Caleb get his son? He certainly didn¡¯t bring it with him through the blue door. And Rachel¡¯s stats weren¡¯t affected by the lost arm. You managed to get it back on before stat decay. DM: I don¡¯t see what all the fuss is about. The story is progressing as intended.
Breznik: ¡°The fuss¡± comes from the fact that you¡¯re keeping us here, and expect us to jump through a bunch of hoops to get home.
DM: Am I? How do you know that I¡¯m not doing everything I can for you? You carry such hostility to me, and yet I give you nothing but the best quality quests I can procure.
I looked up and said, ¡°he¡¯s just dodging the question.¡± That brought noises of frustration from everyone.
Breznik: I notice you saying a lot of jack shit about my first question. Just be straight with me. Is there another way to get home?
I sighed, sat down next to Bernie and showed her my texts. She hummed, then handed it back. My slate buzzed. He¡¯d finally answered.
DM: Here are the brass tacks, so to speak. I cannot give out any information on the true nature of The Game, or your role in it, or how you may escape it, other than the quest or quests provided.
Breznik: What about your role in the game?
DM: my role is to make sure you lot have a good story, if and when you make it home.
Breznik: A good story on our terms, or yours?
DM: Who else would know better? I¡¯ve been doing this the longest.
Breznik: And how long is that?
DM: quite long.
I sighed and tossed my slate on the table. ¡°Let me see,¡± Bernie said. She read the slate. ¡°This is something.¡± ¡°Is it?¡± I asked. ¡°I feel like I¡¯m talking to a brick wall.¡± ¡°Let me see,¡± Rachel offered. She read as well. ¡°Okay. No, this is something.¡± ¡°What do you got?¡± I asked. ¡°Well,¡± Rachel responded, ¡°I think this means that the ¡®DM¡¯ is a role you have for a long time. We can be reasonably sure that the same DM that spoke to Sofia when she first got here is the same one you are speaking to now. It also seems that this person believes that there are rules he must follow. And that he is playing this role for our benefit.¡± ¡°Okay, so how does that help us?¡± Bernie asked. ¡°If we can figure out what role he wants us to play, what story we need to tell, then we know the rules of The Game.¡± ¡°But that¡¯s just the quests. That¡¯s back to square one,¡± I added. ¡°Not necessarily,¡± Bernie offered. ¡°He said ¡®quest or quests¡¯ and that he ¡®procures them¡¯ for us. Maybe that means we could potentially get a quest to go home that isn¡¯t defeating Sofia.¡± I thought for a moment. I picked up my slate.
Breznik: If Helena joins our group, does she need to follow our quest or would we follow her quest? Or are we free to choose either? Do we get a new quest?
The DM didn¡¯t answer right away. I sat down again and chewed food I hardly tasted. He answered.
DM: Helena joining your party would change the story significantly. Whether that means you need a new quest, is all dependent on what story you are telling together. There is a possibility that neither quest is suitable in that case. But quests are given out based on what is, not what could be. We wouldn¡¯t know until it happened.
Breznik: That''s not very clear.
DM: the future never is.
I showed Bernie the messages. ¡°That wasn¡¯t a no,¡± she said. We filled Rachel in. ¡°So,¡± she said, ¡°we may not have to lie to Helena at all. If she joins us, she could possibly go home with our quest, not hers. There¡¯s a chance we get an ally out of this. An ally with fat tits.¡± ¡°Woah,¡± I said. ¡°You haven¡¯t seen ¡®em?¡± ¡°How big are we talking?¡± Bernie asked. ¡°Guys,¡± I added. ¡°She¡¯s our prisoner. Let¡¯s not sexualize her.¡± ¡°Just stating objective facts,¡± Rachel said. ¡°Also,¡± I said. ¡°The DM could pull the rug out from under us, and change the quest we have. We may not benefit at all from turning her.¡± ¡°If we have to turn her,¡± Bernie said, ¡°I should probably give it a try. Points in seduction and all.¡± ¡°She may not be bi,¡± I cautioned. ¡°Oh, so you¡¯re thinking you should go for the seduction play?¡± Bernadette teased. ¡°Worked on you,¡± I said. Bernie kissed me on the lips. ¡°Groooosssss,¡± Rachel groaned. Mark entered the mess hall, his cape billowing behind him. ¡°They¡¯re delivering food now,¡± he said. ¡°If we¡¯re to interrogate the girl, we should do it while she¡¯s in a good mood.¡± I looked around at Rachel and Bernadette, who both shrugged. ¡°Yeah, sure,¡± I said, ¡°let¡¯s go do it. I¡¯ll fill you in on the way.¡± Chapter 44 — I Try My Hand at Interrogation After we filled him in on what we learned, Mark offered his preferred strategy on how to interrogate Helena. ¡°I have the spell ¡®delve into mind¡¯ prepared. I could just go fishing, and see what I find.¡± ¡°No,¡± I said. ¡°Wait,¡± Rachel offered, ¡°why haven¡¯t we used it before?¡± ¡°Well, I didn¡¯t have it prepared before,¡± Mark said, ¡°and I¡¯ve been very busy with my projects.¡± ¡°What projects?¡± Bernadette asked. I vaguely recalled that there was something I was supposed to tell Mark that I hadn¡¯t, that I had important information for him. But whatever it was could wait. ¡°Well, I think I¡¯ve found the location of what could be The Seam. I am this close,¡± he said, showing a small space between his fingers, ¡°to proving that this pocket of reality is folded under the Turkish steppes.¡± ¡°Nobody knows what that means,¡± I said. ¡°I don¡¯t expect you to know what it means,¡± he said. I could feel my face scrunch up, and words come to my lips. I bit them back. ¡°Boys,¡± Rachel cut in, ¡°cool it. Are you saying you know where we are, and that it¡¯s still on earth?¡± ¡°Not exactly,¡± he responded. ¡°What¡¯s the downside of using this spell?¡± Bernadette asked, walking next to me. ¡°Well, it very well could damage her trust in us. It is not a subtle thing. Why tell us anything, if we¡¯re just going to pry it from her skull? And we may not find anything helpful to us in the process. It¡¯s possible to get me a memory of her childhood pet, and not what she was doing a week ago.¡± ¡°Last resort, then,¡± Rachel said definitively. ¡°I don¡¯t like it,¡± I added. Braelyn walked up from the other direction and had a hushed conversation with Mark about something. I just stared at the blue light of an arcane lamp. Then we were off again. We turned a corner, and suddenly we were in the dungeons. Just arcane lamps, no natural light to be seen. The central area had a desk with a single guard, and several chests ¡ª Hooks with rows of keys over it. Then ringed around this space stood a dozen iron barred cells. Helena, sitting on a generous cot reading a book, seemed to be its only inhabitant. An empty tray with a tin mug sat on the floor. ¡°I thought we weren¡¯t doing books,¡± I said. ¡°Where did she get a book?¡± Mark asked the guard. He looked up from his game of solitaire and said, ¡°someone else must have given it to her.¡± Helena stood, tossed the book on the bed, and walked to the bars of her cell. Her hair streamed long and wavy past her shoulders, greasy from six days of sponge baths. Her face was round, giving her a youthful look. And in plain cotton shorts and shirt, I was forced to admit that her figure was very appealing. Her arms were much bigger than I had ever seen on a girl, and she had some heft to her. Not enough that I¡¯d know she had 21 strength, but certainly enough that I¡¯d think she was a swimmer or a powerlifter. ¡°Wasn¡¯t a very good one,¡± Helena said, resting her arms on the bars casually. ¡°I¡¯m more into manga.¡± ¡°One Piece?¡± I offered. ¡°Hell yeah!¡± she responded, brightening a little. ¡°I¡¯m so upset that I¡¯m missing the final chapters.¡± ¡°They¡¯re doing the final chapters?¡± ¡°Yeah, Oda had to take a break for his health, but he¡¯s back! Or at least he was. I¡¯ve been here for a bit.¡± I must have been more out of the loop on manga than I thought. At this point, we were all around her cell, with me the closest. Her eyes lit up when she saw Rachel. ¡°Raquel, dejas me plantado,¡± she said playfully. ¡°You know why we¡¯re here,¡± Mark started. ¡°Sure,¡± she said. ¡°You want me to tell you what I know, but give me very little reason to trust you.¡± ¡°No,¡± I said, cutting in, ¡°we just want to get to know you. I think they got us off on the wrong foot.¡± ¡°Arre? Let me out, we grab some chelas, then we¡¯ll see what foot we¡¯re really on.¡± Bernadette took a step closer to me. ¡°Is chelas food?¡± I asked Bernadette. ¡°Beer,¡± she said. ¡°Nice,¡± I turned back to Helena. ¡°Can¡¯t let you out, but maybe we could get some beer?¡± ¡°No,¡± Mark said. ¡°You¡¯re not really helping.¡± ¡°Trust works both ways,¡± Mark continued. ¡°And it¡¯s on you to show us you¡¯re trustworthy.¡± I turned away from Helena. So did Rachel.The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement. ¡°This isn¡¯t the game plan,¡± she said. ¡°Yeah, you¡¯re freaking scuttling it, dude.¡± Looking at both of us in turn, he seemed to realize that we were united against him. ¡°Whatever,¡± Mark said. ¡°Do what you like. Message me if you fail.¡± He teleported away. It was just me and the three girls on this side of the bars. I grabbed some chairs, Helena grabbed her own, and we sat with the bars between us. ¡°So beer is off the table,¡± I said. ¡°Not surprising,¡± she shrugged. ¡°What do you feel comfortable sharing?¡± Bernadette asked. ¡°Look, you guys are really bad at this. Just say stuff, if I like it, maybe I open up. It¡¯s really not that hard.¡± Braelyn got up and left. ¡°My dad¡¯s Puerto Rican?¡± Bernadette offered. ¡°No manches,¡± Helena muttered. ¡°Yeah that tracks.¡± ¡°What¡¯s that supposed to mean?¡± They had a back and forth in Spanish that I couldn¡¯t really follow, but it ended with a big sigh from Bernadette. ¡°What was that?¡± Rachel asked. ¡°Something about a strawberry?¡± ¡°She¡¯s expecting solidarity,¡± Helena said, ¡°but just because we both speak Spanish, doesn¡¯t mean we got a lot in common. At this point, maybe I should just go back to my book.¡± She stood. I stood up too, and walked toward the bars. ¡°Look, the fact that you¡¯re also from earth, America even, that¡¯s kinda thrown us for a loop,¡± I said. ¡°We¡¯ve been forced to make some tough calls here, and fought really hard to try to get back home, and then you show up, and it makes us think that maybe we could have made different choices.¡± Helena smiled, her dark brown eyes just a shade lighter than black gazing back at me with something like amusement. She responded with a ¡°hmm.¡± ¡°Look, most of us, when we got here, we had nobody,¡± I said. ¡°I was lucky. I had Bernie. And the two of us have gotten into some weird shit. We aren¡¯t sure that what we¡¯re doing is right, but we know we have each other.¡± Braelyn arrived with a wine sack. We poured wine for everyone. It was still maybe ten in the morning, but nobody seemed to mind. This got Helena back in the chair. ¡°So,¡± I continued, ¡°I have Bernie. You arrived with your dad?¡± ¡°You¡¯re trying to use social drinking on me,¡± she said, taking a sip of wine from her tin mug. ¡°But damn if it ain¡¯t working. Yeah. Papa took us through the blue door together, but I took my hand back at the last second. I waited, what must have been twenty, thirty seconds before jumping through. He¡¯d been here for two years. It took me weeks to make it to him.¡± ¡°And by then he¡¯d already joined up with Inara?¡± Helena shrugged. ¡°Damn,¡± I muttered to myself, taking another sip of wine. ¡°See, we all had something similar happen to us. Sofia went through first, who you know as Queen Tenembria, Inara. She was here for thirty years before Caleb showed up. Then Mark.¡± ¡°Pendejo,¡± Helena muttered. I just nodded and continued. ¡°Right. Then Rachel about five years ago, then us. You must have gotten here before me.¡± ¡°Maybe,¡± she said, shrugging. ¡°We¡¯ve ended up on opposite sides of this stupid war Sofia ¡ª Inara I mean¡ª and Caleb have been fighting just out of pure circumstance. What¡¯s even the point of it? Why should either side¡¯s grudge matter?¡± ¡°You¡¯re into this g¨¹ey?¡± Helena said, looking to Bernadette. ¡°He has his charms,¡± she said coyly, then lifting her mug to her lips with both hands. ¡°Look, I get it,¡± Helena said, waving her tin mug. ¡°You¡¯re mister nice guy. La ligue over here not so much. And Raquel,¡± she winked at Rachel, ¡°she¡¯s been playing with my heart all week.¡± Braelyn looked to Rachel, who just shrugged in response. ¡°But,¡± Helena continued, ¡°it doesn¡¯t matter how charming you are, I don¡¯t get home unless I kill Caleb. I don¡¯t see any other way.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve thought of that,¡± I said, pulling out my slate. ¡°Take a look at this.¡± I swiped open the slate, pulled up my messages with the DM and handed the slate to her through the bars. Bernadette looked surprised. Braelyn looked confused. Helena just swiped through the messages, as she did, her face getting more and more concerned. Then she swiped away from those messages and began reading others. ¡°Hey!¡± I said, reaching through the bars. Helena smiled wide, like a kid who¡¯d gotten caught grabbing a sucker from their mom¡¯s purse, then handed it back. She was on the kill crew messages. Clever. But she probably hadn¡¯t learned too much. ¡°Nice going idiot,¡± Rachel said. Bernadette just gave me an empathetic look. I put my slate back. ¡°Thank you for trusting me,¡± Helena said. She raised her tin mug, ¡°and the booze. But if we¡¯re to take the DM at his word, he didn¡¯t say that I had to join you. In fact, he implied that you could join me.¡± ¡°If it¡¯s all about ¡®the story,¡¯¡± She continued, ¡°whose story is better than mine? The heroic knight and her father, who won new allies through her beauty and charm, who took down a tyrant with the help of a powerful sorceress? With Inara, she protected my father, helped me realize I could be a hero. What have you done, other than lock me up?¡± ¡°We¡¯re trying to be better,¡± I said. ¡°You won¡¯t know what your story could be unless you give us a try.¡± ¡°An appeal to the unknown. Attractive, were I not bound to my father¡¯s choices. Look. I¡¯m not gonna decide anything today. But I would like to talk to Raquel.¡± I looked to Rachel, who shrugged. Braelyn walked up the stairs without a word. Bernie sat on the guard desk, and fiddled with her slate. I sat next to Bernie. Giving it a second look, I saw that it wasn¡¯t her slate, but Helena¡¯s she was messing with. The lock on the messages app was just a four digit pin. And it didn¡¯t seem to have a lockout for incorrect choices. Crude, and breakable with enough tries. It seemed like Bernie was using dates. ¡°Why all the dates in April?¡± I whispered. ¡°She¡¯s an Aries,¡± Bernie said. ¡°How do you know?¡± Bernie just gave me a sardonic look that implied that it should be obvious. I leaned against Bernadette, and eavesdropped on Rachel and Helena¡¯s conversation. ¡°This isn¡¯t gonna work,¡± Rachel said. ¡°What is ¡®this?¡¯ I¡¯m just talking. I¡¯m bored, and you¡¯re the most interesting person here.¡± ¡°Person, or woman?¡± ¡°I¡¯m about the person,¡± she said, licking her lips nervously. ¡°Unless you mean I need a gold star to talk to you.¡± ¡°Nah. I¡¯m not about that. And is that what this is?¡± ¡°It¡¯s whatever you want it to be, baby girl.¡± ¡°Shut up!¡± ¡°Yes ma¡¯am.¡± I was pretty sure this was flirting, but if it got us intel, I was all for it. I also couldn¡¯t help but feel like I was missing something beyond that. ¡°What happened to your shoulder?¡± Helena asked. ¡°Oh. Got chopped off in Swordfall. Knight of the Word. My ex actually. Long story.¡± ¡°Chica mala, you¡¯re one tough cookie. I give a great massage, if you need.¡± ¡°Come on.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°You¡¯re not serious.¡± ¡°I know we banter, but I got strong hands. Give a killer massage. Or you need me to be gentle, I can be gentle.¡± Just then I got a message. I pulled up my slate. It was Braelyn. She had her own slate now. Braelyn: We have a problem at the front door. I messaged back. Breznik: What''s up? Braelyn: Some gnome girl is here with two others saying that they know you, and that you¡¯d want to talk to her. There are hundreds of miles of empty snow here, so if we kick them out, they have very few places to stay otherwise. But I¡¯ll do it if you need. Breznik: Keep them busy. I¡¯ll be right there. Chapter 45 — Berryhop Apologizes Excitement, apprehension, fear, and surprise, a whirlwind of emotions carried me up the stairs. I looked to Bernadette at my side. She gave me a concerned expression. I could feel the emotions coalesce into something more mellow. What could go wrong if she was there? We were damn near unstoppable. ¡°I think it¡¯s Berryhop,¡± I said. ¡°Why would it be Berryhop? We¡¯re a thousand miles from the Kingswood.¡± ¡°I think I¡¯ve been having prophetic dreams about her.¡± ¡°What? How?¡± ¡°Not sure,¡± I said. ¡°They stopped right before the opera opening.¡± ¡°Good, I guess,¡± she said. Soon, we were out the front door and into the snow. Down the freshly scraped path, near the gate, stood a small party on a colorful carpet, surrounded by about five guards. Upon getting closer I was able to make out the party. An orcish man towered over the rest, an elven woman by his side. Next to them was a gnome with white hair. A curl of pink had escaped her hair ribbon. It was her. ¡°I know her!¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ve been expecting her!¡± ¡°Really?¡± Bernie asked quietly, as we approached. ¡°No, I am completely dumbfounded, but they need in,¡± I whispered back. ¡°Zach! My friend!¡± called G¡¯nash, with a toothy grin. I smiled and waved. The elven woman, I couldn¡¯t tell which bartending sister it was at first glance, huddled closer to the orc and smiled too. Berryhop frowned. Oh, and Braelyn was there too. ¡°Glad you could make it in one piece!¡± I said. The guards let them through. G¡¯nash stayed behind to roll up the carpet, so the girls walked up without him. There, in that snowy path, I met Berryhop again. A lifetime of experiences separated us. I could see that she¡¯d become someone much more formidable. Potions hung from a bandolier across her chest, and a large dagger from her belt. A strange crossbow poked up from behind her shoulder. But also too, the eyes she gazed back at me with had steel behind them. She was not the carefree woman I¡¯d known. ¡°I am a little surprised,¡± I said, ¡°but I¡¯m glad you¡¯re safe.¡± I took a guess at her companion. ¡°Is this Dalara?¡± ¡°It is,¡± Berryhop said. Dalara kept her hands on the twin swords hanging from her belt. ¡°Then I¡¯m glad to see her too. What brings you here?¡± ¡°Can we talk inside?¡± she asked. I nodded, and soon we were in at the ground floor coat check. Here they stowed their weapons, though I was able to convince them that the potions were no harm. Soon, we were in the mess hall. We got some food and all sat down together. ¡°Food is good,¡± Dalara said, ¡°though I find the meat a little heavy,¡± she said, referring to the roast duck. ¡°Yeah, the cooks are phenomenal here,¡± Bernadette said. ¡°Though I don¡¯t think anyone will be matching your stew. It was divine.¡± ¡°Why, thank you.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± Berryhop interrupted. ¡°I¡¯ll just get into it.¡± ¡°Take your time. Or you can tell us later,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m just glad you¡¯re safe.¡± ¡°I poisoned you,¡± she blurted out. ¡°Really?¡± I replied. ¡°I feel fine.¡± ¡°No, when we were dating. I didn¡¯t know if it would actually work, but that¡¯s no excuse. I gave you the dreamtwin mushroom. It, well, it connected us in dreams. How it works is complicated, but you sort of lived as me, and I you. But only when asleep.¡± ¡°Well that explains the dreams,¡± I said. ¡°What dreams?¡± Bernadette asked. ¡°I¡¯m sure Berryhop can explain.¡± ¡°Well,¡± she said. ¡°Uh. I didn¡¯t know how it worked. Or even that it would work at all! It was silly. I knew that you would leave, eventually, and I wanted to go with you, but I couldn¡¯t leave Brindletree. Not then at least,¡± she said, eyes suddenly shadowed by pain. Then she looked up at me, pleading almost. ¡°So. I put some dreamtwin mushroom in your soup.¡± ¡°Huh,¡± I said as a way to delay having to respond. This was not how I expected this to go. I just sort of thought I had an active imagination. ¡°But what does it do?¡± Bernie prodded, her face unreadable. ¡°It connects our minds, and when we dream, it replays the events of the day for the other person, so even though you are apart, you can see the events of the other¡¯s lives. It¡¯s a way to connect people that cannot be connected.¡± ¡°That¡¯s¡­ that¡¯s kind of fucked up,¡± Bernie aknowledged. ¡°I know!¡± Berryhop said, flinging her face on the table and hiding it behind her arms. ¡°I¡¯m a monster!¡± Bernadette laughed. I cringed a little inside. It wasn¡¯t a good thing she did. But I¡¯d done worse. In the scheme of things, it was almost harmless. And in fact, I¡¯d grown to have enjoyed the dreams. But I didn¡¯t say that. What I did say was, ¡°you made a mistake Berryhop. And I should rightly be mad. But I haven¡¯t had the dreams in some time. Did it wear off?¡± ¡°No,¡± she said, small and under her arms. ¡°I made an antidote.¡± ¡°Well, thanks. What made you change your mind?¡± ¡°Um,¡± she looked up at first Bernadette, then me. ¡°Well when you two had the date on the boat.¡± ¡°Ah,¡± I said. ¡°Yikes,¡± Bernadette said. ¡°It wasn¡¯t unenjoyable,¡± Berryhop said, with an apologetic grimace. ¡°But I certainly was impressed by the, um, transgressive nature of my mistake.¡± ¡°Wait,¡± Dalara cut in, ¡°you watched them have intercourse?¡± ¡°We didn¡¯t actually hook up,¡± I said. ¡°Eh,¡± Bernadette cut in, ¡°that¡¯s debatable.¡± Dalara¡¯s eyes went wide. ¡°It was close,¡± I admitted. Bernadette, and I laughed nervously. Berryhop was technically my ex, but it was hard to be mad at her. It wasn¡¯t just her cuteness, she had an intractable earnestness. Also, It was a mistake I could have made. It¡¯s not like I didn¡¯t stalk my previous ex¡¯s socials after we broke up. This was certainly much more invasive, but I understood the urge to not let go. ¡°Uuuuughhh,¡± Berryhop groaned. ¡°Can you forgive me?¡± ¡°Sure,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m okay with it,¡± Bernadette said, ¡°as long as you don¡¯t do it again.¡± ¡°Never!¡± Berryhop said. ¡°Never in a million years!¡± Bernadette smiled at me. I shrugged. ¡°What¡¯s with the potions?¡± I asked. Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator. ¡°Oh. Uh, which ones?¡± I pointed to the bandoleer. ¡°Oh!¡± she continued. ¡°Well this one,¡± she pointed to a luminous blue liquid, ¡°is a catalyst for several effects. It sets a mist on the ground and if I toss this one into it,¡± she said then pointed at a transparent, brackish liquid next to it on the bandoleer. ¡°Then it explodes into fire. But if I toss this one,¡± she pointed to a black liquid. ¡°It erupts into an ice wall.¡± ¡°Impressive,¡± I said. ¡°I know, right?¡± Bernadette smiled at her, then looked at me. ¡°It¡¯s nice to see you again, despite the, uh, the poisoning. Why are you here?¡± ¡°I can answer that,¡± Dalara said, her sparkling green eyes gazing at me intently. ¡°The Black Lions want to make a deal with Ailmer and King Caleb, and I guess you two as well.¡± ¡°The Black Lions?¡± I asked. I, of course, remembered the medallions on the bodies of the bandits we killed. And filling in the blanks of what I knew from my dreams, it makes sense that she¡¯d have joined them. But had they really climbed so high that she was making deals for them? ¡°Yes. I know you may have some less than pleasant interactions with them in the past, but traveling mercenary forces need to resupply however they can. And they are under much more competent leadership now.¡± ¡°You?¡± Bernie asked. ¡°I am one of them, yes. We have a broad leadership structure that allows for great flexibility.¡± ¡°¡®No Kings, Just Captains,¡¯¡± cut in Berryhop reverently. ¡°Just so,¡± Dalara agreed. ¡°And I am renouncing my membership,¡± Berryhop said with some sadness, ¡°or I guess hopefully renouncing, to study here. I¡¯ve heard this is the best magic school in the country.¡± ¡°That¡¯s what they say,¡± I offered. ¡°How is the South?¡± Bernadette asked. ¡°Not good,¡± Berryhop admitted. ¡°Brindletree is gone. My family joined the Black Lions as scouts and foragers, but none of them are as good as me. We¡¯re struggling. Pendras has fallen to the dragon. The king is on the run. I¡¯ve, uh, decided that my fortune is best made through my skills as an adventurer. That way I can send coin back to my family.¡± ¡°I''m very sorry, Berryhop,¡± Bernadette said, reaching her hand out and touching it gently. ¡°World¡¯s a dangerous place,¡± Berryhop said, nonchalantly. ¡°I only hope to do what I can.¡± At that moment G¡¯nash returned, and Dalara ran to greet him. With all three of them gathered, they bid us goodbye so as to set themselves up in the guest quarters. Berryhop had a slate now, and said that she¡¯d message us when it was time for the official meeting with Mark. I gave her my Number Identity Set, which she needed to contact me, then left to give them some space. Last I saw of them, G¡¯nash was piling his tray up with copious amounts of meat. I wanted to brief Mark before the meeting, so none of this would be a surprise, and we took the stairs slowly. Despite all of its wonders, the tower still relied on stairs to get everywhere. There was supposedly an elevator for bulky items, but it wasn¡¯t open to the public. ¡°Berryhop is cute,¡± Bernie said, as we waited to catch our breath between floors. Most people did this, traveled in pairs or groups, and congregated on the small landings to socialize. Several people passed us as we talked. ¡°Yeah,¡± I replied. ¡°But she¡¯s different now.¡± ¡°How so?¡± ¡°The potion thing is new. And she¡¯s got, like, a sadness in her.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t see that,¡± Bernie said. ¡°I think she¡¯s happier now. She¡¯s ashamed of it because it doesn¡¯t serve her family, but she loves those potions, and the freedom it gives her.¡± ¡°Maybe,¡± I said, stroking the stubble on my chin. ¡°She¡¯s also pretty curvy for a little person, so I get it.¡± ¡°Oh do you?¡± I replied. ¡°Do I sense some resentment?¡± ¡°Of her? Nah. What about G¡¯nash? Heard he and Busty-elf-tits McGee are in an open relationship. Maybe I¡¯d like a piece of that.¡± ¡°You trying to make me jealous?¡± I asked, folding my arms, and leaning against the wall opposite her. ¡°I don¡¯t get jealous.¡± This was a lie. I wasn¡¯t the jealous controlling type, but I had a healthy sense of possessiveness for my romantic partners. I was just trying to play it cool. ¡°Oh really?¡± she asked, stepping closer. ¡°I like that, that¡¯s good. But damn if I don¡¯t want to test your ¡®aw shucks¡¯ good guy act.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not an act. Not that I¡¯m a good guy, I just can¡¯t act.¡± Bernie trailed a finger along my shoulder, then settled into a spot leaning on the wall right next to me. ¡°What if I tried my hand at Dalara instead? Would that make you jealous?¡± ¡°I know I¡¯m not supposed to treat that any differently, but I honestly think that¡¯s sort of rad.¡± I was only half serious about that. Bernie snorted, and rolled her eyes. ¡°Of course,¡± she groaned. ¡°You know, my last serious boyfriend said the same thing,¡± she continued. ¡°He thought having a bisexual girlfriend was hot, until I flirted with another girl, and then it was all ¡®which friend are you hanging out with?¡¯ or ¡®who else is going to be at that party?¡¯¡± ¡°Every story you tell about this guy makes him seem worse and worse.¡± ¡°Yeah, he sucked.¡± ¡°Then let¡¯s not talk about him if you don¡¯t want,¡± I offered. ¡°Look,¡± she said, ¡°liking girls is cool. Girls are hot. I get that. But it¡¯s not some kind of accessory a guy gets to have. It¡¯s mine.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have a monopoly on finding women attractive,¡± I added playfully. ¡°Yeah, but my feelings are my own.¡± ¡°Of course. What¡¯s this about?¡± Bernadette shrugged. ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll say again,¡± I ran a finger along her jaw to direct her face right at me. ¡°I¡¯m not the jealous type. But I can pretend to be, if you think that would be fun.¡± She smiled wide. ¡°I like to flirt, and if you pretend that bothers you, it would make it more fun. I just don¡¯t want it to actually bother you.¡± ¡°You demon,¡± I said facetiously, grabbing her by the waist, ¡°there¡¯s no stopping you is there?¡± ¡°I¡¯m unstoppable,¡± she said lustily. I pulled her in, nuzzled her neck. She sighed. I kissed her lightly on the neck, then cheek, then pulled away. ¡°More stairs?¡± she asked. ¡°More stairs.¡± Here¡¯s the thing about the Arcane Academy: the entire top four floors were exclusively Mark¡¯s. The first two were his private library, separate from the school¡¯s, and the third was his private study. The very top floor was only spoken of in hushed tones. Apparently, that was his secret project. Once we got to his library, we found a sturdy door wrapped in long lines of glowing runes that marched tidily down the surface of the wood. Bernadette keyed in the passcode, his birthday, and we walked right in. Hardly a secure code. Word among the staff was that he kept it intentionally easy, so that cheeky students may feel like they were accessing more knowledge than they were allowed. In reality, he encouraged students to seek outside their grasp. Apparently, this school was incredibly competitive. Inside were a lower and upper deck composed of hundreds of shelves, with ladders on railings strewn this way and that. Little reading nooks were pocketed between and several students, as well as one faculty, could be found reading in them. I waved at Professor Graves, and moved on to the stairs up. ¡°You know that guy?¡± Bernadette asked. ¡°Yeah, Illusionist teacher. Not even sure if it¡¯s him or one of his doubles, but it¡¯s best to be polite either way. Chill guy all things considered.¡± She nodded, and we arrived at the next door. This one had a more difficult code. It was a series of numbers that changed monthly, and only given out on a need to know basis. Inside, lay a room much like the previous, though without any students. Its only inhabitant stood patiently next to the fireplace, above which sat a massive oversized portrait of a woman. I texted Mark, then we waited. The thing standing next to the fireplace approached us, then bowed. ¡°Uh,¡± I said, ¡°I guess some tea?¡± It nodded, then walked toward the teaset placed on the cart next to the fireplace. ¡°What is that?¡± Bernie asked. ¡°I mean, it¡¯s a robot,¡± I said, gesturing to it. The thing moved through the space with inhuman silky smooth grace, as it assembled the items needed for tea. The joints showed as copper, or something like it, but the bulk of it was made up of smooth white porcelain material. The edges of the plates had been adorned with gold embellishments, and between the plates revealed hints of the wirework underneath. The face, such as it was, looked like a single molded piece of the porcelain in a gently smiling, genderless mask. ¡°Okay,¡± Bernie said, ¡°but where did he get it?¡± I shrugged. ¡°Billie,¡± Mark said, walking down from the stairs that presumably led to his office, cloak fluttering behind him. ¡°You¡¯ll make one for me as well.¡± The robot smartly waved at him, and quickly retrieved a third cup. We sat near the fire, and filled him in on recent developments as Billie served us the tea. It was great, and I appreciated the caffeine. ¡°So wait,¡± I interrupted Bernadette as she was finishing up her summary of the last couple days events, ¡°why do you call him Billie?¡± Bernadette frowned. ¡°Sorry,¡± I muttered. ¡°Serial number on his shoulder,¡± he said, brushing a limp piece of black hair from his forehead. He pivoted back to the more pressing matter. ¡°I think it¡¯s fine that this, Berryhop was it? It¡¯s fine that she join the academy. If she¡¯s as good as you say, she¡¯ll be a delightful addition to the school. But this Black Lions thing concerns me.¡± ¡°How so?¡± Bernie asked. ¡°Part of Caleb¡¯s trouble securing a victory against Sofia is his lack of well trained troops. The Black Lions were his honor guard that he abandoned. Or well, we abandoned, I guess. I teleported him out, stranding them. Some defected and became the Knights of the Word, and some became these Black Lions.¡± His icy blue eyes cut to me. ¡°I am a little surprised that my guards let them in, as they could be holding a grudge.¡± ¡°Well, I know Dalara,¡± I added. ¡°Do you? How do you expect a barmaid became the head of a mercenary company so fast? Serving drinks?¡± ¡°Okay, maybe not that well.¡± ¡°Any other good news to share?¡± he asked. I looked to Bernie. ¡°Not really,¡± she said. ¡°We¡¯re dating now,¡± I said. ¡°Good for you,¡± he said, standing. ¡°Now, I have important projects to tend to before the meeting. I¡¯d rather be as far along as I can be before I get assassinated.¡± ¡°I wouldn¡¯t let¡ª¡± ¡°That was a joke,¡± he said, turning and walking up the steps. ¡°Help yourself to a book while you¡¯re here. Billie knows the place back to front.¡± ¡°What are you working on?¡± Bernadette asked. ¡°You¡¯ll see,¡± he said, without even a backward glance. The robot stood at attention, and nodded wordlessly. I turned to Bernadette. ¡°Rachel thinks I¡¯m too harsh on him,¡± I said. ¡°But I think he¡¯s a jerk.¡± ¡°He had teleportation magic,¡± Bernadette replied, ¡°and chose to stay here anyway. I¡¯ll let you guess what I think of that.¡± Chapter 46 — A Level 14 Quest After the meeting with Dalara, things moved quickly. She proposed that a portion of the Black Lions serve under Caleb provisionally, so that he could finally defeat Sofia for good. Apparently, that meant he would need to defeat or ally with the Kingswood and with the Mountain Peoples. The Kingsgaurd had recently made advances into Caleb¡¯s territory (Zandria, as he¡¯d named it after his first born son) raiding towns and supply chains to support an Elven king on the move. At the same time, the Mountain People saw this as an opportunity to regain lands Caleb had taken as a young man. His kingdom was being eroded from both ends. Maybe with the Black Lion¡¯s help, he could get the wins he needed to reestablish a final counteroffensive. As for how Bernadette and I fit into all this, we were Caleb¡¯s aces in the hole. Having Player Character classes meant we could learn and grow much faster than an NPC. Getting us to Caleb¡¯s level was a top priority. To this end, Dalara and G¡¯nash became our trainers. Berryhop joined the Academy. What the Black Lions got out of this was a huge amount of money. Caleb had given some of his cash to Mark for safe keeping, and Mark was not a poor man. The Black Lions stood to earn a lot for themselves if they made it out of this intact. When Dalara secured the deal, her smile reached wide across her face. But her eyes seemed sad, like maybe it wasn¡¯t enough. She¡¯d lost something more than just that bar. I could tell, because her smiles from back then were small and confident, so different than now. I wondered what it was. Rachel¡¯s arm continued to be a problem. She stopped hiding her flask from Braelyn. Dalara had the bright idea to switch her to rapier, a one handed weapon. The one we¡¯d gotten off of Princess Mia was very good, and she was a fast learner. Her barbarian class didn¡¯t lock her into certain weapons past the melee restriction so she still had all her abilities at her disposal too. Without the belt even, she was a fast and aggressive fighter, and not to be trifled with. I took the belt. G¡¯nash proved to be a surprisingly good teacher, with knowledge of both his people¡¯s fighting styles, and Caleb¡¯s, as he¡¯d met the former Knights of the Word on the battlefield back when they were just Caleb¡¯s shock troops. He had a healthy respect for them. I was trying to make a two handed fighting style work, but it was slow going. I wasn¡¯t aggressive enough. You really had to swing that thing around to threaten your whole area, but I was more of a ¡®wait and test¡¯ kind of guy. G¡¯nash sort of just threw people at me, and let the bruises teach me as much as his gentle coaching. Certainty was a joy to use though, and that made all of it worth it. The fact that it was our hated enemy¡¯s weapon didn¡¯t really seem to bother any of us, from what I could tell. During all this, I was finding new ways to make Bernadette laugh, new ways to surprise her. Each moment was the greatest achievement, greater than any of the battles I won. And I got to do it over and over again. When you¡¯re 25, oh I¡¯d had a birthday, you think you know everything about love and romance and what it¡¯s like to be with someone, but love struck me down and showed me that I had so much more to learn. I¡¯d done this before, we both have, but also everything we did together was new. One day, I decided to visit Helena for dinner. They¡¯d stuck her with a lady guard. Rachel was at a chessboard, studying it intently, and rotating her bad shoulder absentmindedly. ¡°Cari?o,¡± Helena said, staring at the ceiling, hands folded behind her head on the pillow, ¡°I have you.¡± This next part she said almost singsong. ¡°You may as well just call it quits.¡± ¡°Only thing you got is hubris,¡± Rachel replied, staring at the board. I looked over her shoulder at the state of the game. I didn¡¯t know a lot about chess but I could tell they were in the endgame. Rachel was down to a couple pawns, a knight, and a rook, desperately trying to keep Helena¡¯s two queens at bay. She¡¯d trapped her in a way that any moved she made would sacrifice a high value piece without the chance of an immediate counterattack. I was never one to think very far ahead in chess, but even I could see that any one loss would start a downward spiral of losses. I leaned against the bars. ¡°I didn¡¯t know you were good at chess,¡± I said. ¡°?Chale!¡± She said, not bothering to look. ¡°I don¡¯t play chess. I play her.¡± ¡°She¡¯s full of shit,¡± Rachel said. I noticed a lack of Braelyn. That was happening more and more these days as she spent time with Caleb. This was weird. It almost seemed friendly. ¡°Is she pestering you?¡± I directed at Helena. ¡°She probably needs to do her PT anyway.¡± ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± Helena replied. ¡°I¡¯m going stir crazy at this magic place anyway,¡± Rachel said. ¡°Despite her probably evil nature, she¡¯s alright.¡± Helena scoffed. ¡°You¡¯re not gonna find a way out,¡± She said, bringing the conversation back to the game. I shrugged, and scooped Rachel¡¯s new Rapier. Elegance +4 Made specially for the Princess Mia to commemorate her eleventh birthday. Intended to be something she¡¯d grow into, this weapon was always by her side from the day she got it. A rasher, sloppier fencer than her older brother, she nonetheless used this weapon well, and had few equals at the castle. Successful paries with this weapon have a 11% chance to reset a random ability cooldown. Drawing blood has a 100% chance to reset a cooldown. This ability can work on character abilities gained from items. ¡°Hey guys, what are you¡­¡± Berryhop¡¯s voice trailed off as she saw the group assembled. ¡°Now who are you?¡± Helena asked. Berryhop ignored her, climbed onto the chair, then sat on the edge of the table. She stared at the chess game intently. ¡°Come on,¡± I said, talking quietly, leaning against the bars. ¡°You don¡¯t have to make a pass at her too.¡± ¡°I wasn¡¯t making a pass, baby boi.¡± ¡°Then what was that?¡± ¡°Passing interest. Twenty years in this hellhole, and you learn to pay attention to a good thing when you see it.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°I mean, by the way you look at her, I¡¯d think you hit that.¡±If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. ¡°No. She called it off when she figured out I liked Bernie.¡± ¡°What do these beautiful women see in you?¡± ¡°I got no idea, Helena.¡± She smirked. ¡°You can still win this,¡± Berryhop said. ¡°Yeah?¡± Rachel sat back. ¡°Sacrifice one or the other, doesn¡¯t matter. Go for the other queen and you stalemate.¡± ¡°Stalemate isn¡¯t a win,¡± Rachel said. ¡°Winning doesn¡¯t win, only protecting the king wins. Stalemate leaves the king untouched. If she fails to win her prize you get to keep your kingdom.¡± Rachel moved a piece. Helena called back her move. ¡°Your move,¡± Rachel said. ¡°I don¡¯t have one,¡± Helena said with a smile. ¡°Gnome girl is right. It¡¯s a stalemate.¡± ¡°My name is Berryhop,¡± the gnome girl said with a smile. ¡°And such a nice name it is. Wonderful to meet you.¡± ¡°Why are you locked up?¡± ¡°I think I just like it here is all,¡± Helena replied. Suddenly the guard brought Helena her food. The three of us grabbed food from the mess, picked up Bernie and G¡¯nash on the way, and sat to eat in the dungeon with Helena. The prisoner was pleasant company all things considered. Our plan of winning her over through charm hadn¡¯t yielded much results, but it certainly helped that nothing we did in the dungeons made it hard for us to sleep at night. It was weird, but I trusted that Rachel knew what she was doing. Berryhop usually ate with her new friends, classmates from the Alchemy school, so it was nice that she was with us too. Bernie was mostly pretty chill with her, but I also made sure not to do anything that would make her doubt me either. ¡°You¡¯re pretty strong, huh?¡± Berryhop asked Rachel. G¡¯nash laughed. I felt my eyebrows raise. ¡°Less so with my shoulder,¡± Rachel replied, ¡°and without my belt. But, uh, yeah I¡¯m pretty strong.¡± ¡°You know if you tossed me into the air,¡± Berryhop said, ¡°I could shoot potions over the tops of cover.¡± Bernadette snorted with laughter. Rachel smiled. ¡°G¡¯nash is strong. Why haven¡¯t you tried this already?¡± ¡°G¡¯nash refuses,¡± Berryhop replied, rolling her eyes. ¡°Said I could ¡®twist an ankle.¡¯¡± Bernie chuckled to herself as the conversation continued, and plugged four digit codes into the slate absentmindedly. ¡°Birthday not work, huh?¡± ¡°No,¡± she said, taking a bite of cooked beets. ¡°Could be a number with no connection to a date at all.¡± ¡°Hmm, what if her dad set it up?¡± I said, keeping my voice below the general conversation. ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°Look,¡± I continued, ¡°she¡¯s like, what, in her early thirties?¡± ¡°Maybe younger,¡± Bernadette replied. ¡°I don¡¯t think so. Mexican women age well.¡± ¡°Do they?¡± ¡°That¡¯s not the point,¡± I said hastily. ¡°She let slip earlier that she¡¯s been here for twenty years. If she¡¯s in her thirties now, how young would she have been when she got here?¡± Bernie¡¯s eyes went wide. ¡°Her dad set up her slate, locked the messages in her phone because she was just a kid.¡± ¡°Maybe,¡± I said. ¡°At least that¡¯s my current theory.¡± Bernadette got real quiet. I did some thinking too. If she was 32-33 like I thought, that would mean she was just a 12 year old when she got here. That¡¯s the prime age to play The Game with your dad. This girl had been playing a TTRPG with her father then got tricked into coming here. What kind of life had she lived? What kinds of choices would a father have made to get his daughter home? ¡°I think I have an idea for how we can reach her,¡± I said. Before Bernadette could respond, the sound of yelling came from the stairs. We all stood. Braelyn rounded the corner first, an annoyed expression twisting her lips. Dalara followed. Braelyn tossed her braid over a shoulder and said, ¡°just because you¡¯ve managed to earn some small amount of authority in your mercenary band, doesn¡¯t mean you have any concept of the vast perplexities a king must consider.¡± ¡°I know my people are dying!¡± Dalara shot back. G¡¯nash stood. ¡°And that¡¯s a terrible thing," Braelyn said, "but the region¡¯s instability actually makes our bargaining position greater.¡± ¡°You¡¯re sending them to the Orcs? What can they provide but stick huts, and superstitions?¡± ¡°Hey!¡± G¡¯nash interjected. He was at her side in an instant. His face softened. ¡°We¡¯ve talked about this¡ª¡± he admonished gently. Dalara frowned. ¡°Sorry,¡± she said, then turning back to Braelyn. ¡°This wasn¡¯t the agreement.¡± ¡°No,¡± she replied, stepping closer. ¡°This is exactly the agreement. The king has final say on logistical matters.¡± G¡¯nash stepped in front of Dalara, but stopped short of stepping between them. ¡°This isn¡¯t logistics!¡± Dalara said. ¡°This is death by abandonment.¡± ¡°What¡¯s this about,¡± I asked. Braelyn sighed and replied, ¡°Caleb has requested your presence with the Mountain People. He wants you to participate in some kind of tournament to get us a foothold on the Council of Mothers.¡± ¡°The Contest of Three Flowers?¡± G¡¯nash asked. ¡°I don¡¯t know their word for it,¡± Braelyn admitted. ¡°Flaymeskerg has complete control over the Kingswood,¡± Dalara said. ¡°Every day he¡¯s allowed to live, the elves¡¯ suffering grows.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a 14th level quest,¡± Rachel added. ¡°Woah! I thought he was level 10!¡± I said. ¡°He was,¡± Rachel replied, ¡°sleeping in his lair. He was basically a DPS check then. Now he¡¯s got an army.¡± ¡°He¡¯s got an army?¡± Bernadette asked. ¡°Yes,¡± Berryhop said, staring forlornly at her mashed potatoes. ¡°Those who didn¡¯t flee with the king, are now required to collect tribute from the rest of the Kingswood, and feed his horde.¡± ¡°That sounds bad,¡± I said. I felt a twinge of guilt. I knew that some of this calamity lay at our feet. But then again, without us, things would have gotten much worse at Swordfall. Yes, the city still was ransacked, but without our chasing Mia off, who knows how many more of Caleb¡¯s kids would have been harmed? Without us protecting the nobility at the Opera, who knows how many more would have died? Caleb himself could have died. We¡¯d made the right choice going to Swordfall. It still sucked that the place we¡¯d first come to had been entirely overrun with monsters. ¡°We¡¯re not high enough level yet,¡± I finally said. ¡°Fuck your stupid crystal game,¡± Dalara said. G¡¯nash put his hand on her shoulder. She looked to him with an expression I couldn¡¯t place. ¡°Rachel?¡± I asked. ¡°How fast do you think we can level up?¡± ¡°Leveling up happens faster with quests, than training. And the higher level we get, the more experience we need to cross the next threshold.¡± ¡°Could we hit quests on the way?¡± I asked. ¡°Possibly,¡± she admitted. ¡°We¡¯ve fought higher level monsters before, and won,¡± Bernadette admitted. ¡°But I¡¯d like us to over prepare for something like this.¡± ¡°What? No. You aren¡¯t going off to fight a dragon,¡± Braelyn butt in. ¡°The King has plans for you. You don¡¯t have time to go off and get eaten.¡± ¡°Technically,¡± Berryhop added, ¡°our greatest struggle was his fire, not his teeth.¡± ¡°Brandon didn¡¯t fall to his fire,¡± Dalara reminded her. ¡°Hey, not cool,¡± Berryhop said, sadness knitting her brow. ¡°But like I was saying: I think I have a potion to take care of the fire.¡± ¡°How good is it?¡± I asked. ¡°The one I made previously gave us a tolerance for heat. I think I can give us immunity.¡± ¡°You¡¯re very clever aren¡¯t you?¡± Rachel remarked, leaning her elbows on the table. Berryhop put her one pink curl behind her pointy ear. ¡°It¡¯s honestly not that big a deal.¡± ¡°I¡¯d fight the dragon,¡± Helena cut in. ¡°Probably has some sick loot.¡± ¡°You are all forgetting,¡± Braelyn said. ¡°That King Caleb has the final say on major quests.¡± ¡°Caleb can¡¯t tell me to do shit,¡± Bernadette replied, nonchalant. ¡°Guys!¡± I cut in. ¡°Cool it! We¡¯re not doing anything until we really take a look at our options.¡± There was silence as everyone looked at me. I rushed through the awkwardness. ¡°Yeah, yeah,¡± I continued, ¡°Caleb¡¯s judgment is important but it¡¯s our asses on the line, so he can¡¯t do much more than suggest things. That said, as far as we know the Dragon quest has better rewards and is on a tighter timeframe. G¡¯nash, can the date of the tournament be pushed back?¡± ¡°It happens when the Council says it happens.¡± ¡°Good,¡± I said. ¡°Then it seems clear we should probably tackle the dragon first. But we won¡¯t do anything until we think we can actually pull it off. And if things get too hot, we can always have Mark teleport us out.¡± ¡°Fair point,¡± Rachel said. ¡°The king will not like this,¡± Braelyn said. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Braelyn,¡± I said. ¡°But Caleb will have to get over it.¡± She turned on her heel, and left in a huff. Chapter 47 — A Friendly Battle Royal I was an awful mage. I took the hybrid spellcasting class for fighter to give me some more flexibility but it was all intelligence stuff, rote memorization, which I was okay at, but didn¡¯t have the patience for. Sometimes I spent an hour or so in the beginning Wizard class to brush up on the fundamentals. The Bubble spell was one of my fighter spells. It was a small nearly intangible sphere of force that helped deflect attacks. I just had to contort my fingers, say the magic nonsense word, and bing bang boom, ya got a Bubble. I contorted my hand and flung it at the training dummy the class had set up. The Bubble winked into existence. The stationary crossbow launched its bolt. The bubble shattered immediately. ¡°I was hoping to see some improvement,¡± Professor Graves remarked. I shrugged and walked off. Class wasn¡¯t how I was gonna get stronger anyway. Besides, Bernadette and I had a date. The date was nothing special. We got some candles. We smuggled some trays of food up to her dorm. We ate a little food. I shelled out for the good wine instead of bathtub hooch. After some romantic intimacy, we changed into warm cotton pajamas and played a gin rummy variant on the bed with cards that were at this point, comfortably worn. ¡°What do you think about Sofia?¡± Bernadette asked. ¡°What¡¯s this?¡± ¡°No, I know you had a crush on her¡ª¡± ¡°So did you,¡± I reminded her. ¡°Yeah, but I got over that shit real quick.¡± ¡°Fair.¡± ¡°What do we think about this whole Queen of Darkness thing she has going on?¡± Truthfully I¡¯d been trying to avoid thinking about it. ¡°We haven¡¯t talked about it much as a group, have we?¡± I noted. ¡°No we haven¡¯t.¡± ¡°This isn¡¯t some kind of test is it?¡± Bernadette laughed, and leaned back against the wall next to the bed. ¡°No. And I¡¯m not sure how I feel about the situation myself. I had a hard time when I got here. In some ways I blame her for that. But then I remember she was here alone too. If just a week here alone was enough to scar me, how much suffering could she have endured?¡± ¡°You never talk about that first week.¡± ¡°It sucked. Nothing too crazy. I got into a dangerous situation. Burning lamp oil splashed on my back. I eventually killed the guys that hurt me. It was a whole thing, but I¡¯m over it.¡± ¡°Wait, who hurt you?¡± ¡°Just an elven patrol. Thought I was a thief. They were right, but ¡ª Look, I don¡¯t want to talk about it.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to. Come here.¡± ¡°I was winning anyway,¡± she said, crawling across the game and into my lap. I put my arms around her. I heard her sniff once, as if from tears. I figured she didn¡¯t want me to acknowledge it, so I just held her tighter. ¡°I promise I¡¯ll get better at this stupid game,¡± I said, referring to gin. ¡°You don¡¯t have to,¡± she said, sniffing again. ¡°I like it when I win.¡± I kissed her gently on the neck. ¡°I had an idea about how this would go,¡± I said after some time. ¡°I thought that I would get us all back together, we¡¯d do the hero thing, then we¡¯d go home. Now it doesn¡¯t seem like that is an option. We have to kill her. Right?¡± ¡°It looks that way,¡± she said. ¡°But what about Helena and her dad? What about the other people that come here? If we just go home, other people could end up here like we did. We wouldn¡¯t have actually helped people.¡± ¡°Now you¡¯re starting to sound like Caleb. He tried that. He tried the ¡®help people¡¯ thing and what does he have to show for it? That¡¯s a trap. Sofia¡¯s trapped here too. We kill her, and maybe we¡¯re doing her a favor. Maybe if you die, you just get to go home.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think it works like that,¡± I said. ¡°This world is real. I have to believe that. And so death here must be real too.¡± ¡°Maybe,¡± she said, crawling off of me, and standing on the cool stone floor. She refilled her glass of wine, and mine too. I took my glass, sipped some. She sat across from me. The soft light of the candles flickered, and shadows licked the hallows of her neck and clavicle, the side of her face. I had to shake my head a little to force myself not to just get lost in the view of her. ¡°You think that Sofia wants to burn this place down?¡± I asked. ¡°It looks like it. From one angle. But if that was the case why be queen? Why not be a guerrilla fighter and slip back into the night after destroying a kingdom? Then do that over and over again until it¡¯s all done. I think she¡¯s become addicted to this place, addicted like Caleb.¡± ¡°Caleb has kids here,¡± I reminded her. ¡°Of course,¡± Bernie shrugged in agreement. ¡°But isn¡¯t it weird how Caleb and Sofia have a kingdom? How Mark has this whole school devoted to these kids that idolize him? We¡¯re powerful here, but the others have used that power to accumulate stuff, accumulate people. It¡¯s weird.¡± ¡°You¡¯re telling me you don¡¯t want to open up some kind of assassin¡¯s guild?¡± ¡°Oh, god no!¡± she said, shocked. ¡°I¡¯d make a terrible teacher. I¡¯m not even much of a leader. I mean, maybe I¡¯d want to direct some day.¡± ¡°A play?¡± I asked, sipping the wine. ¡°Yeah. But a school, a kingdom? What¡¯s the point?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I admitted. ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯m the kind of guy to want that kind of thing either.¡±Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. ¡°Oh yeah?¡± she asked, crawling toward me. ¡°What if I asked you to murder the elven king, and take his throne for me?¡± She ran the tips of her fingers across my neck, then kissed the skin she¡¯d just teased. Her face came inches from mine. ¡°Could you do that for me?¡± ¡°Suddenly,¡± I said softly, ¡°I have a lust for conquest.¡± She kissed me. It wasn¡¯t long until I could feel the passion carrying me away from the moment. I stopped her. ¡°You¡¯re not serious, right?¡± I asked. She bit my lip. ¡°Ow!¡± We both laughed. ¡°No! Of course not!¡± she said, laying against my chest. ¡°Good. But I take your point.¡± ¡°Oh, do you? Did I have a point?¡± ¡°Yeah. Love changes you. Caleb fell in love with an Elven Princess. Mark, I guess, fell in love with magic itself, I think. And Rachel had her band of heroes. Before that got taken from her.¡± ¡°Was that my point?¡± she said, stroking my chest under the cotton of my shirt, ¡°I thought my point was that boys are dumb, and easily manipulated.¡± ¡°Oh, har har, very funny.¡± ¡°I¡¯m hilarious.¡± We lay in silence for a bit. The comforting heaviness of her body on my chest was soothing, and I just basked in it for a moment. ¡°What happened to Sofia I wonder?¡± Bernadette asked. ¡°What seduced her?¡± ¡°Maybe vengeance? Vindictiveness?¡± ¡°Certainly. But there¡¯s vindictiveness, and there is ¡®burning people alive in their own homes.¡¯¡± ¡°Right.¡± We sat up simultaneously. She moved back to her spot on the wall. I took a sip of wine, and so did she. ¡°Well that was a mood killer,¡± I said. ¡°Yep.¡± ¡°More cards?¡± ¡°You mean I get to kick your ass again?¡± ¡°Hey! I¡¯m getting better!¡± We had a delightful night after we switched to more pleasant topics. It wasn¡¯t long until we weren¡¯t talking much at all on account of, you know, our mouths being used for other things. The morning after, I woke in her dorm feeling pretty refreshed. I hadn¡¯t slept as much as I¡¯d like, so I was still a little groggy, but I was out of my mind in love. I felt buoyant, like I could maybe jump out the window, and fly around the tower. I dragged my eepy-deepy ass to the mess hall for some tea. The rest of the day moved quickly. I met the Black Lions crew. They invited Berryhop to train with us. She used what she called a ¡®down shited setting¡¯ for her crossbow and launched stuffed cotton plushes at us with it. I still kinda hurt, but did a good enough job of letting us practice dodging ranged fire. After lunch, Rachel convinced us to celebrate her birthday through two of her favorite activities, getting drunk, and hitting people real hard (her third and fourth favorite activities being pottery making, and poker by the way). So we headed out to the padded floors of the training hall. We wrapped the wooden training weapons in padding, put on some armor, and split into two teams. The goal was to put opposing players on their back, or steal the flag from their back pocket (of which Rachel had two because it was her birthday). No magic items, no spells, just wits and martial ability. The terms were total victory, or nothing. Rachel had said that ¡®the breeders need to be split up,¡¯ and made sure that I was on her team and Bernie the opposing. Rude, but honestly kind of thrilling as Bernie was probably the best martial practitioner we knew, and getting a chance to test ourselves was exhilarating. It was me, Rachel, and Dalara on Team Drunk. Bernie, G¡¯nush, and Braelyn were on Team Dagger. Berryhop was there too, but stayed on the sidelines firing plushes at either team indiscriminately. Cleric Luca was there to officiate (and heal if need be), as well as Professor Quentin. Being a naturally competitive bunch, and raging drunk, we did not hold back. I sought out G¡¯nash, but unlike our previous sparring, did not hold back. He roared with enthusiasm. We crashed into each other, him getting a couple good nocks against my neck and shoulders, sending me stumbling back, but I protected my head and swung right back, landing at least one for every two I took. Bernie was well practiced at fighting a rapier sized weapon by now, and leapt over and around Rachel, harassing her with her smaller short padded weapons. Rachel was outmatched but her weapon gave her plenty of reach. She used her greater mass, and power to drive the other woman back. The real show was Braelyn and Dalara. They both wielded two longsword sized practice weapons, both knew the elven fighting style, and both moved with inhuman grace. Ducking and weaving and leaping over each other, I wanted to just stop and watch. But G¡¯nash¡¯s huge sword-shaped weapon and Berryhop¡¯s projectiles kept me focused back on the fight at hand. I¡¯d never fought him like this. He was always so kind, so chill. And it¡¯s not like the dude was trying to kill me, but he wasn¡¯t being gentle either. I was in serious trouble if I didn¡¯t do something soon. ¡°Switch!¡± I yelled, and Rachel dove out of Bernie¡¯s reach, grabbed G¡¯nush by the waist and tossed him to the mat. Before he could get up I grabbed his flag. ¡°Look at you, kid,¡± he said, grinning like an idiot. I could feel my face flush. Bernie slipped up to Rachel and stole her first flag. ¡°No fair!¡± Rachel shouted, flailing her practice sword. I rushed in swiping at Bernie who ran around us, laughing. Rachel defended my back from Braelyn, who¡¯d taken Dalara¡¯s flag, and I advanced on Bernie. Later Braelyn had said the only reason she¡¯d won in her duel is that she was sober, but I think that sells her skill short. She moved in a way that reminded me of Aquilan, of other elite fighters. She obviously didn¡¯t have the stats to be a fighter, but man did she have the training. But I couldn¡¯t focus on her. I had to beat my girlfriend. ¡°You should just quit,¡± I said. ¡°I don¡¯t want to hurt you.¡± Bernie paired my sword, leapt over me, and smacked me real good on the dome as she passed. ¡°Good luck, baby,¡± she said. ¡°Okay, I change my mind!¡± We both laughed. But I still swung my sword harder than before. Rachel lunged first at her, forcing her to retreat, then at Braelyn, keeping her from advancing. I wasn¡¯t used to fighting back to back with Rachel. Especially with her new fighting style. But we settled into a comfortable rhythm. I made sure to swing high, passing my sword over her head, and she lunged then returned to my back. Then we circled around each other and Rachel was back to Bernie, and I was back to Braelyn. I roared and swished a long lunging strike out to her. She ducked and slammed her sword into my knee. I almost buckled. My sword was longer but I just couldn¡¯t keep up. When I thought I had one sword parried the other tagged me in the gut. Luckily my breastplate stopped it, but it didn¡¯t tickle. Okay, time to end this one way or another. I threw my sword at her head. She ducked. I tackled her, dashing her to the ground. Her back touched the mat, and she threw her flag down inn surrender. As soon as I turned around to focus on Bernie, I noticed that she was right next to me. She waved my flag in my face. I cursed, and immediately sat down, exhausted. Then we all just watched the show. Rachel attacked Bernie¡¯s hand, and disarmed her with a flick of her wrist. Bernie threw her other sword at her. Rachel batted it out of the air. Then Bernie¡¯s feet was a blur and she dove for Braelyn¡¯s discarded longsword length weapons. She came back up with one in each hand. Rachel rushed to keep her on the backfoot. The next exchange was exhilarating as the practice weapons swing this way and that, padding dislodging and soon it was just wooden weapons. Bernie sought to end it in one go, catching Rachel¡¯s weapon with both of hers and leaping to kick her right in the face. Rachel stepped to the side, let the kick pass by her, and grab her bad arm around Bernie¡¯s waist. Rachel then put her other hand on her, and tossed her back. When Bernie landed on her feet, and went back into her ready position, Rachel just waved a red flag in the air. Bernie looked at her waist. It was her flag. She threw her swords down, then plopped back on her butt. We all cheered. It was a fitting outcome for the birthday girl. Later, Bernadette promised that she¡¯d not let Rachel win, and I backed her up with announcing our win-lose rate in gin rummy. She was at that point at 31-to-6 in her favor. So she wasn¡¯t one to let those she cared about win just to soothe their ego. But who knows? Rachel wanted to drink some more, but I was already pretty much done for the night. I took Helena¡¯s slate, and went to find somewhere to lay down. I tried a couple pass codes, laying on a bench in the mess hall. I don¡¯t know when I¡¯d fallen asleep, but I was awoken by the sound humming. I opened my eyes and sitting on the table, just a couple yards from me, was Helena, kicking her feet and typing something into her slate. ¡°What the hell?¡± I muttered. ¡°Oops,¡± Helena said. Chapter 48 — The Enemy Gets Friendly I was drunk, tired. I¡¯d just gotten my ass beat. But I had to do something about this. How was I gonna stop her? Was I gonna punch a girl? I¡¯d just clobbered my friends with a wooden sword, so maybe. Was I gonna summon Edge? No. I decided to talk. Because, unfortunately, that was what I was best at. ¡°Howdy?¡± I said as my first offering. ¡°Howdy,¡± she replied, typing in her slate. Her fingers closed around a kitchen knife with her free hand. ¡°Do I have to stab you?¡± she asked. ¡°Not yet,¡± I said. She didn¡¯t put down the knife. I noticed, now, a pile of butterknives, forks, and kitchen utensils next to her. I suppose that was how she¡¯d escaped, how she escaped every night. She just had to throw something, and teleport out of the bars. How did I miss that? She had spellcasting, so she probably charmed the guard too. ¡°Okay, baby boi, you have my attention now,¡± she said. Her smile was wan. She put the slate on the table next to her. I sat up on the bench. ¡°Uh, before we get into it, why are you here, and not, like, hiding? I presume you have help coming.¡± ¡°I do,¡± she said. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to risk you waking up, or waste time. Needed the message out first.¡± ¡°Makes sense,¡± I said. We studied each other for a bit. She was beautiful, stocky but womanly enough. Not that I noticed such things. There was a weariness to her though. I think, even with the company offered by Rachel, the imprisonment was starting to take its toll. We¡¯d gone about this all wrong, I realized. We hadn¡¯t trusted her enough. We hadn¡¯t treated her right. It¡¯s not like she was going to run 300 miles through the freezing cold mountains on foot to the next town. We had her slate. We could have done better. Didn¡¯t matter. For now, I just had to keep her occupied until my friends showed up. ¡°You could have killed me,¡± I stated. She shrugged. ¡°Maybe I¡¯m an optimist.¡± ¡°That you won¡¯t need to?¡± I asked. ¡°That maybe we¡¯ll someday be friends.¡± ¡°Shit. Wow,¡± that floored me for some reason. ¡°I think that would be pretty cool.¡± ¡°I think you¡¯re alright. I like Raquel even more. But it¡¯s kind of fucked you kept me locked up.¡± ¡°You did try to kill me,¡± I reminded her. ¡°True.¡± ¡°Since we aren¡¯t going anywhere, want to talk about Manga? You didn¡¯t talk to me as much as Rachel. I feel like I never got to know you.¡± ¡°I hardly remember that stuff,¡± she said, sadness coloring her voice. ¡°I¡¯ve been here too long. I know more about Strife Among the Stars, or Love Flies Before Morning.¡± ¡°Shoot. I don¡¯t know those very well. Or well I know Strife well enough but not the other one.¡± She hopped down off the table, and sat next to me on the bench. ¡°LFBM is the pinnacle of Versperalian satire. Chick named Candaria wrote it, kind of like this place¡¯s Shakespeare. Brilliant stuff. Even the title is a double entendre. Strife is how I connect with my pop, and Elle-Eff is what I read after my first breakup.¡± ¡°Shit,¡± I said, ¡°that happened here, huh?¡± ¡°Lot¡¯s happened here,¡± she remarked, her eyes holding some kind of intense feeling I couldn¡¯t place. ¡°Long as it¡¯s just us,¡± she said, ¡°maybe we can swap stories. What has it been like for you here? Most of the others don¡¯t make it here long.¡± I thought for a moment. She kept the knife in her lap, running her finger along the dull back edge. The light from the moon that refracted from the snow outside the windows lit along the skin of her bare shoulders, highlighting her musculature. She reminded me of Rachel, so tough, with a hint of masculine swagger. But then her long bleached blonde hair gave her a hint of femininity. But there was something about the set of her shoulders. She seemed resigned to the violence she could do, like it was just a part of her, outside her control, and always just under the surface. Where was the cackling maniac I¡¯d fought in Swordfall? I can¡¯t imagine what things had been like for her. Hell, I had a hard time thinking about what It¡¯d been like for me. ¡°I like it here,¡± I said, ¡°one day. And then the next, I¡¯m running for my life under falling ash, dragging the body of my friend behind me, not sure if she¡¯s gonna make it. One day I¡¯m flirting with a beautiful elven woman, the next I¡¯m fighting this crazy fucking undead deer. The good and the bad here are so stark, so much more contrasting than going to the job you hate every day, just living your life for the two days a week you get to be yourself. But¡­ I also miss that life.¡± Helena smiled. ¡°That¡¯s interesting,¡± she said. ¡°I never had a real job. Sometimes I wonder what that would have been like.¡± ¡°Right! You were 12?¡± ¡°I¡¯d just turned 13,¡± she shrugged like that wasn¡¯t tragic as hell. ¡°But I don¡¯t get what you said really. Growing up, I saw a boy my age splattered on the concrete in front of the mission because he was trying to talk to some guy at the wrong time. Oh don¡¯t give me that look, acting like you don¡¯t have places like Detroit. I saw violence all the time, kind that don¡¯t make no sense. But here, here the violence comes from me. And no monster survives an axe to the face. Here the violence makes hella sense.¡±This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience. ¡°I can see why you¡¯d like The Game. Why your dad wanted to play it with you. What does he think of all this?¡± I asked. She scoffed. ¡°He wants me home. But the longer this goes on, the more he realises that I can¡¯t go back, at least not how I was. This is me now. I¡¯m not his little girl anymore. So, we¡¯re trying to put things right.¡± ¡°Is that what Inara¡¯s doing?¡± I asked. ¡°Setting things right?¡± ¡°As right as they can be. I¡¯ve been telling Racquel this. This place doesn¡¯t need ¡®freedom.¡¯ It doesn¡¯t need ¡®reform.¡¯ It needs safe roads, quiet villages. It needs a queen that can inspire them, a Queen For All the World.¡± I chewed on that for a bit. ¡°Then what the hell was happening in Swordfall? How was she supposed to be a queen to those people?¡± ¡°That¡¯s not on us,¡± she said, crossing her arms and leaning away from me. ¡°That¡¯s on Caleb.¡± ¡°Caleb wasn¡¯t the one lopping folk¡¯s heads off in the street with an axe.¡± ¡°Oh, because they¡¯re our people, and he used a sword that makes him different?¡± ¡°They weren¡¯t anyone¡¯s ¡®people.¡¯ They¡¯re just people. We¡¯re all just people.¡± Helena wore a smile that said she didn¡¯t agree but that the argument amused her anyway. I took that as a win. ¡°Oh yeah?¡± she said with sarcasm. ¡°I know Raquel would agree, but what about your partner? What about Bernadetta?¡± I thought for a second. I didn¡¯t want to admit she had a point. ¡°Two things about Bernadette ¡ª she doesn¡¯t lie to me anymore. And she has a fat ass.¡± Helena laughed and slapped me on the back. I damn near fell off the bench. ¡°Boy, she got you vagamatized.¡± I felt the red creep up my neck. ¡°I would prefer to say that we¡¯re just very much in love.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure that¡¯s true too, but you got it bad. I knew y¡¯all were boning, but she¡¯s got your ass.¡± ¡°Yeah, pretty much. What about you? You seem to have a thing for Rachel. Why leave when maybe you could make that happen.¡± ¡°My papa says so for one,¡± she admitted. ¡°And for two maybe this is the ¡®long game.¡¯ Maybe I don¡¯t want it to look easy.¡± ¡°Fair. Hey, did you teach a bunch of kobolds how to make tacos?¡± ¡°That was my pops, actually. Said they¡¯re all wrong, but he tried.¡± ¡°They¡¯re great! Good on him. First bit of home I¡¯d had in a long time.¡± Helena was easy to talk to. My plan to stall her til the others showed could be working, but then again I also just liked talking to her. Maybe I was too naive, maybe I had people all wrong. But I wanted to be right. I wanted to believe that we were all in this together. ¡°You know,¡± she admitted, ¡°I had this idea of what my type was, that I liked the high femme girls. I dated Princess Mia for a hot minute last year, you know.¡± ¡°No shit!¡± That almost broke my brain. She had to be lying. ¡°Yeah. She was on a break with her husband. Least that¡¯s what she said.¡± ¡°Wow.¡± ¡°So,¡± she continued. ¡°I thought I knew what my type was, then in walks this girl. And fuck man, I just know that my type is now whatever the hell she is. Because damn does she have it. Like, I don¡¯t know what it is, but Raquel¡¯s got it, man.¡± The look on her face was unmistakable. She was in love. Man. Now wasn¡¯t that fucked up? I¡¯d have to ask Rachel how she felt about all this. ¡°Wait, wait, wait,¡± I said. ¡°We¡¯re getting sidetracked. Back to the Sofia, Innara thing. I get why you want her to win. She¡¯s a player too.¡± ¡°Right.¡± ¡°And your quest is to help her win?¡± ¡°More or less.¡± ¡°Then why did the DM give us the quest to defeat her? She¡¯s from our gaming table.¡± Helena reached behind her, grabbed a glass of water, took a sip, and handed it to me. I drank some too. I was so dehydrated. ¡°Here is something I¡¯ve learned. The DM gives all kinds of quests. I¡¯ve met something like ten other people like us, players. And they always have a quest to defeat either Inara, Caleb, or the Elven King. Damn near always.¡± ¡°Really?¡± ¡°Really. And if I was to try and figure out why, I¡¯d say it¡¯s because the DM doesn¡¯t want stability, doesn¡¯t want any one faction to win this game. Stability ruins the game world. With stability there¡¯s no bandits, no war, no monsters on the road. There is no adventure to be had.¡± ¡°There would still be dragons,¡± I offered. ¡°There could still be quests to go off and fight goblins.¡± ¡°Would there? The only reason somebody hasn¡¯t put the goblins down for good, drive them back to their birthing pools, is because we¡¯re all too busy stabbing each other.¡± ¡°Birthing pools?¡± ¡°Yeah, they¡¯re pests born from muck, barely sentient. Nothing like the orcs, who are basically just, like, indigenous people.¡± ¡°Really?¡± I asked. ¡°I thought orcs were from across the sea?¡± ¡°Not what I heard. And not sure it matters where they came from. Elves act like just about every colonizer ever.¡± ¡°Sure, but it matters where people are from, Helena.¡± ¡°I¡¯m from Mexico, think any of the people here care?¡± ¡°I care.¡± ¡°Because you¡¯re a sweet baby boi, too soft, too pure for this world, that¡¯s why.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve killed people.¡± ¡°Of course you have,¡± she said, ¡°and so has a badly constructed railing, but I wouldn¡¯t consider that especially spooky.¡± I found Helena to be someone I would have greatly enjoyed spending time with. But she was the enemy. I couldn¡¯t put it past her to be this personable just for the sole reason that she wanted me to hesitate when next we fought. But it didn¡¯t feel like that. I wasn¡¯t trying to get in her head. I just liked that she was talking to me. ¡°What are we going to do, Helena?¡± I asked. ¡°Next time we meet, we have to fight. And if I want my friends to be safe, I can¡¯t hold back.¡± ¡°I wouldn¡¯t want you to,¡± she said, suddenly serious. ¡°If this life here is gonna matter, if what we do here is gonna mean anything, we have to give it everything we got.¡± She stood. I stood. I offered my hand to shake. She shook it. Just then, her slate lit up. I heard feet pounding down the corridor behind me. I scooped the wooden training weapon from the tiled floor, and tossed it to her. She caught it. I scooped the other one with my toe and tossed it up and caught it in a motion that was honestly way too cool for me. ¡°En garde?¡± I asked. ¡°V¨¢monos.¡± I swiped at her foot. She raised it, and attempted to stomp on the sword. I retracted my sword into a low guard. Her sword came down for the top of my head. I dodged, then brought my point up for her lower body. We both spun away. I retreated. She leapt into the air, crossing the space with blistering speed. Not knowing what to do, I gave ground again, and was far away when she landed. ¡°Longsword isn¡¯t really my weapon,¡± I said. ¡°Me either,¡± she admitted. I ran forward, and she began to glow red. As soon as I reached her, the glow vanished in an instant. How? What? She struck first, forcing me to parry wildly to protect my face. The wood cracked, but both our weapons held. I launched my riposte immediately after, but she slipped to the side and lunged for my face again. I threw my face out of the way at the last moment. How was she still faster than me? We¡¯d used our Adrenaline Rush abilities at the same time. She¡¯d canceled out my advantage. How had she known I¡¯d use it at that exact moment? Our next exchange had me backpedaling wildly. She smiled. Was she holding back? Suddenly the world went back to it¡¯s snails pace, and before I could get used to it, Helena swung at my torso with such speed that I couldn¡¯t move in time. I tried to parry but when our swords met, they exploded into splinters, and I was left with just a stump and wooden handle. She kicked my hand, and even that flew into the air. I stumbled back, weaponless. ¡°Is that a draw?¡± I asked. She gave me a sad smile. Bernie and Rachel rounded the corner. Helena tossed a butterknife into the wall all the way across the mess. She disappeared into green mist. Chapter 49 — The Road Beckons Aberavon was the new seat of Caleb¡¯s power. As a town of some two thousand people, settled right up against the river, it could not hold the number of fighting men Caleb had brought with him, and so had to be expanded. New walls were built around the town. A sprawling complex of military barracks outside, with their own trenches and palisades, stretched out into the hills. The new influx of trade that came in from the river, ballooned precariously, overwhelming the simple docks, and stretching a queue down the river. Thankfully, we¡¯d been given a place to stay in town with an older couple, dwarves, named Wulbrik and Wulnera. They were kind, but brusque, and apparently a little confused by my ¡®Red Hand¡¯ title, as that was a clan of notorious outlaw dwarves. Oh, and I say ¡®we¡¯ meaning Bernie and me. Rachel was across the way toward the docks. Then, we sat on a balcony overlooking the town square, dominated by a fountain with a statue of Caleb, sword held high. I cradled some tea in my lap. Bernie¡¯s chair sat across from me. We tried to enjoy the view. The sun rose low on the horizon, staining the river orange, and chasing away the winter clouds. The mornings were warm here, though snow still hid under eaves, and among the gutters of roofs. She looked back at me, lank brown hair wafting against her brow, and smiled. ¡°What?¡± I asked. ¡°I¡¯m excited to get on the road again,¡± she said. ¡°We¡¯re supposed to kill a dragon,¡± I reminded her, ¡°that¡¯s crazy. Remember that one that Sofia brought, it¡¯s like that but bigger, and they want us to stab it with a sword?¡± ¡°Apparently the brain is right behind the eye. You just,¡± here she made a popping noise with her mouth and pantomimed stabbing with a sword, ¡°and it¡¯s dead immediately.¡± ¡°Somehow, I believe there is more to it than that.¡± Helena got away pretty easily. Her father had been waiting for her in the snow, and they ported out with a scroll. Mark was furious, less that we let a potential lead go, and more that his wards against enemy teleportation inside the building had been thwarted. He figured she¡¯d been able to get around it since it was a class ability, not a spell, but he wasn¡¯t sure. We were here waiting for supplies to be put together, and the final list for who will come with us to be decided on. Caleb wanted Mark and Braelyn and anyone else with magic to stay with him. He was pushing a big counteroffensive into the Mountain Clans, and needed all hands on deck. As far as I knew, it was just Rachel, Bernie, and me, though I had pushed for Cal to rejoin us. The Black Lions had all agreed to go with Caleb, so no Dalara or G¡¯nash. I wondered how we were going to do this on our own. I checked my stats like maybe they held the answer:
Beznik of the Red Hand the level 5 Mageknight and level 5 War Bard Hit Points 74, Armor Class 19 (Half Plate +2) STR 13 (+1) DEX 14 (+2) CON 14 (+2) INT 13 (+1) WIS 10 (+0) CHA 17 (+3) Items: Certainty +4, Mythril Half Plate +2, Provoker +2, Redeemer +3 Abilities from Fighter: Adrenaline Rush (170% time dilation, double movement speed) and Second Chance (Twice per day heal +25% HP), Sympathetic Weapon (you may place a weapon you have sympathy with in a dimensional pocket space and remove it at will). Improved Weapon Swapping (you may use your Sympathetic Weapon Ability on a second weapon) Spellcasting. Abilities from Bard: Dazzling Strikes (weapons attacks give off sparks, potentially distracting opponents). Inspiring Words (+60% movement speed, 10% instant healing, and +30% extra damage modifier to a party member of your choice). Improved Inspiration (You add your charisma bonus to the damage allies inflict while under your inspiration, and your Inspiring Words refresh twice as fast). Student of War (extra weapon damage equal to CHA bonus). Spellcasting. Skills: History, Performance, Persuasion, Social Drinking
So, in addition to the second weapon I could summon with my improved feature, I also got some new spells. The most interesting being ¡®Magic Quiver¡¯ which, for one spell slot, would replace real arrows with magic ones as you drew the bow back. It needed another spell slot after it¡¯s given me 128 arrows, but that was plenty. With these two things in mind I bound Provoker with the phrase ¡°quack, quack, bitch.¡± This way I could focus on a more ranged build. I still had Certainty strapped to my backpack though. Damn thing caught on door frames and branches alike, but I¡¯d be grateful for it if we ever got overrun. After a light breakfast, some scones and cured meats, we met Rachel in the square, and headed out of town into the tent city that was the barracks. After being waved in by multiple sets of guards, we finally made it to Caleb¡¯s tent. Inside, he was surrounded by thirty people, all vying for his attention. Braelyn ushered us to a bench. A gap in the mass of people parted for a moment, and I was able to see the man himself.You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version. What had been a well manicured beard was now bushy, and threaded with more gray than I remembered. He stood over the map with a tense set to his shoulders, and he tugged on the gorget of his plate armor absentmindedly, like a man unused to a white collar shirt. He shouldn¡¯t be unused to plate armor. I almost never saw him out of it. Caleb glanced at us, spoke something to the man near him, then waved us over. We approached. ¡°Cal won¡¯t take no for an answer, so you may have him,¡± he said. ¡°He¡¯s waiting at the Southern Checkpoint with your supplies, such that I could spare. Apparently some gnome girl is going as well. How she learned about your mission, when it¡¯s one of our most guarded secrets, is beyond me.¡± ¡°Berryhop has a slate,¡± I said. ¡°Ah,¡± he said, his smile strained. ¡°Yes. That may as well happen. Mark swore to me that they couldn¡¯t be made easily when he procured one for Mia, but I seem to be coming across more of them by the week.¡± ¡°Who else has one?¡± Rachel asked. Caleb held his hand out. ¡°Here¡¯s what¡¯s happening,¡± he said, turning to us and standing to his full height, which again wasn¡¯t quite as tall as me, but there was something about the man that caused you to shrink from his full attention. ¡°I have a kingdom to rescue, and a legacy to protect, and if you can¡¯t be trusted to be part of that, I cannot have you in the way.¡± ¡°Woah,¡± I stammered, ¡°what¡¯s all this¡ª¡± ¡°I¡¯ve given you gifts, and you¡¯re welcome to them, but after you leave I don¡¯t want to so much as hear from you. You won¡¯t have my protection, you certainly won¡¯t be taking any more supplies than what you¡¯ve been given. Go fight your dragon, go make your own legacy, but it won¡¯t be off my back.¡± ¡°This is how you treat friends?¡± Rachel asked. ¡°A real friend would have been there for me when my son died.¡± ¡°I lost an arm,¡± she said. ¡°I was busy.¡± ¡°It seems fine to me,¡± he replied, his eyes placid, and his gaze direct. ¡°You could have teleported along with Braelyn at any time,¡± I said. ¡°Seen us at the tower.¡± ¡°No I couldn¡¯t,¡± he said. ¡°And if you knew anything about me, you wouldn¡¯t have even suggested it.¡± Braelyn put her hand on Rachel¡¯s shoulder. We followed her out of the tent without saying goodbye. ¡°He doesn¡¯t mean any of that,¡± Braelyn said as soon as we were out of earshot. ¡°I think he did,¡± Rachel replied. Braelyn put her hand on Rachel¡¯s cheek, and a look passed between them. Then the elven woman returned to the tent, and we were alone in a sea of activity. ¡°Come on,¡± Bernadette said, ¡°let¡¯s get on the road.¡± The walk to the Southern Checkpoint was circuitous, but it took us past blacksmiths, and horses, and men carving new ballista bolts. Nobody rested, or sang songs, or ate food. It was a thousand people all focused on one thing: war. So maybe it was good that we had parted ways with Caleb. Fighting skeletons and monsters was one thing. Fighting other people, people like G¡¯nash, people with families like Wu¡¯ulush, those kinds of people, it didn¡¯t sit right with me. We should have focused on the elves first. If Caleb had turned his army toward the Kingswood, actually helped us on our quest to kill the dragon, then maybe he wouldn¡¯t even need to fight the orcs. Maybe they¡¯d have to help him because his position was so strong. I said as much on our way. Rachel reminded me that she¡¯d spent plenty of time fighting orcs. They weren¡¯t all cuddly like G¡¯nash. And their raids on Caleb¡¯s villages were not bloodless. That got me thinking a bit. I still wasn¡¯t sure he was making the right move, but I also didn¡¯t have all the info that Caleb had. Maybe from where he was sitting, this made more sense than where I was sitting. Or maybe I was just upset at having been basically cut out of the man¡¯s life. I¡¯m sure Braelyn was right. He¡¯d get over it, yeah? Once we reached the Southern Checkpoint, basically a gap in the palisade with guards, we saw Cal, sitting next to a pile of backpacks and smoking his little rolled cigarettes. ¡°Cal!¡± Bernadette said, running to him. He stood and she kissed him on the cheek. ¡°I wasn¡¯t even sure you folk liked me,¡± he said. I slapped him on the back. ¡°It¡¯s just nice to see a friendly face,¡± I said. Berryhop came from around a post. Rachel hugged her in greeting. I politely waved. ¡°Rachel said it wouldn¡¯t be too weird if I tagged along for a bit.¡± ¡°Not at all!¡± Bernadette said. ¡°Good to have you,¡± I said. Her smile was strained. Then she looked at Bernadette, and it became less strained. No idea what that meant. Caleb led a cart and donkey. The cart was loaded for a month or so of travel, with enough food, most of the water, and a hell of a lot of arrows. We also had more rope than we could feasibly carry and some wood to fix the cart should it need it. Caleb had set us up pretty well. The donkey also meant that Berryhop didn¡¯t slow us down nearly as much as if she¡¯d been forced to keep up with the taller folk. ¡°So,¡± I started, as we sat on a log eating some fresh bread and cheese, a delicacy only possible on this early section of the trip, ¡°what¡¯s our first quest?¡± ¡°I got it!¡± Berryhop said, pulling her slate from her pack. ¡°So according to my notes, you have several quests within a couple days of the route to the Kingswood.¡± She¡¯d apparently been getting information on our quests from Braelyn and Rachel. ¡°In order of when we¡¯d arrive to them, the first is a mysterious floating tower over a lake. Could be quite dangerous. Another is the Bloody Hand Bandits, a notoriously violent group of kobolds, goblins, and orcs, which is strange because they¡¯re not known to co-operate. The furthest is a town that is experiencing mysterious disappearances, like a dozen prominent young men and women have vanished in the last year.¡± ¡°Why not all of them?¡± Cal asked. ¡°Depends on the level and the time each quest takes us,¡± Bernadette replied. ¡°Level?¡± Cal responded. ¡°Rachel told me about that!¡± Berryhop cut in. ¡°Each of the Prophesied Heroes are assigned a level, that advances based on how many good deeds they¡¯ve done. She wouldn¡¯t tell me why, but I assume it¡¯s a gift from the gods to encourage helping those that need it, instead of chasing glory.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± Cal nodded sagely, giving no indication he understood. ¡°The levels, Berryhop?¡± I prodded. ¡°Oh! The tower is level 12, the Bloody Hand level 8, and the disappearances level 9.¡± ¡°Higher level means higher rewards,¡± Bernadette added. ¡°I say we go after the tower.¡± ¡°It¡¯s first, as well,¡± I added. ¡°Any reason we shouldn¡¯t?¡± Cal asked Rachel. She pulled out her phone, scrolled through it for a bit, reading the quest hook, before answering. ¡°Says that it¡¯s dangerous, but that combat can be avoided with careful decision making.¡± ¡°Oh, well, then we¡¯re screwed,¡± Cal said, eating a hunk of bread. ¡°Probably should prepare for a tough fight.¡± ¡°We can be clever if we need to be,¡± Bernadette said. ¡°Yeah, and you lot have me now!¡± Berryhop added. Cal rolled his eyes. Rachel laughed. ¡°What?¡± Berryhop said, not getting the joke. ¡°Well, you dodged dating him,¡± Cal said, jerking a thumb at me, ¡°so I know you must have more sense than some.¡± ¡°Hey!¡± I said. ¡°Eh,¡± Bernie said. I gave her a shocked expression. She kissed me on the cheek, and squeezed my thigh. ¡°Sounds like it¡¯s decided,¡± Rachel said. ¡°To the tower!¡± Bonus Chapter 3 Two familiar items¡ª Provoker +2: Shortbow. Very Rare. Requires attunement. This recurve bow has a feather motif on the grip, and stylized goose heads on either end. It has a +2 bonus to attack and damage rolls. Chasing Shot: Once a creature has taken damage from this weapon, the wielder of Provoker may use this feature to cause its ammunition to magically seek its target, firing around corners or over cover. When using this feature you may forgo rolling a d20 for attacks with this weapon and instead may treat such rolls as a 10. You do not need to see the target to make such rolls. If the target of this effect evades your sight for longer than a minute, you must damage it again with a normal attack roll to reapply the chasing shot effect. The Edge of Nothing +5: Longsword. Artifact. Requires attunement. This longsword is forged from hammered voidstuff, and its edge knows no peer. Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator. Once attuned, you may increase your spell save DC by +1. This sword has a +5 bonus to attack and damage rolls*. When you hit with an attack roll while attuned this longsword, the target takes an extra 1d8 Force damage. Maximize the damage dice against items and objects that aren¡¯t being worn or carried. While attuned to this weapon you have a darkvision out to 30ft. If your species already gives you darkvision, add to its distance by +30ft. You may also see through magical darkness. Those attuned may also cast the spells Darkness, Misty Step, and Vampiric Touch (3rd level, +9 to hit) at will, without expending material components. Once per dawn, you may cast the spell Circle of Death (6th level, DC 17). If your attack or save DCs for your spells are higher, you may use those instead. The weapon can¡¯t be broken by normal means. Unlike many blades of legend, this sword is not sentient. It is a tool of a dark power. Who knows what secrets it may be gleaning from your mind, and sending back to its true master. * If a +5 bonus scares you, use the much more in line with 5e balance of +3. I just think it''s fun to break the rules with artifact level items. Chapter 50 — Cold Road, Warm Embrace I led the way, with Bernadette behind me, then Cal leading the donkey with Berryhop, and Rachel bringing up the rear. Hills and shrubs, shrubs and hills, not many places for bandits to hide, and almost nothing to block out the sun as we walked. We had one bandit attack, despite all that, if you could call it such, but we chased them off with a couple well placed arrows from me, and Cal. The last town had warned us of missing caravans though, so we all kept our bows strung, and ready in our hands. When things got too quiet, Bernie would start up a song. Cal sang baritone, Berryhop soprano, though she was a bit pitchy. We sounded nice as a group. We only had one song that we really had down, and we sang it at every tavern stop. No singing now. Cal said he had a bad feeling about this stretch. A craggy hill rose up to our left, casting a welcome shadow down on us, but providing our first bit of possible cover for ambush. I tucked my bow under my armpit, and drank some water, scanning the hill as we walked. Movement. Was it a shadow playing tricks, or tricks from the shadows? My hands screwed the cap back on the waterskin. I readied my bow. With my eyes on the hill, I wasn¡¯t looking at my feet. A rock nearly sent me sprawling. Bernie grabbed me, kept me steady. ¡°You okay?¡± she asked. Before I could answer, an arrow lodged itself in Bernie¡¯s hand on my shoulder. The chainmail kept me safe. Blood spurt from Bernie¡¯s hand. ¡°Get to cover!¡± I yelled, grabbing Bernie¡¯s good hand, and pulling her behind the cart. Cal¡¯s eyes went to the hill. He fired back. I cast a bubble spell on the donkey. An arrow pinged from it immediately. Shrubs toppled over at a 90 degree angle, as the elaborate camouflage covers were tossed aside, and kobolds emerged, spears in hand. I snapped the arrow in Bernie¡¯s hand, and she pulled the rest through. A quick heal light wounds. She flexed the hand, and her mobility seemed unaffected. She drew her swords, Thorn and Fascinator, and met the first that came close. The kobold lunged with his spear. First a slice removed the spearpoint, then she drove Thorn through his scally snout. I glanced over the top of the cart, and to the hill. A kobold fell from a hole in the cliff face. I went to the donkey, grabbed his reins and led him further behind the cover. No time to think, because more rushed from hiding spots down the road ahead. I grabbed Rachel by the shoulder, pointed at them and said, ¡°go get ¡®em! I¡¯ll protect Cal and Berry.¡± Rachel roared, disappeared in a flash of multicolored sparks, and reappeared in front of the advancing kobolds. I saw her skewer first one, then the other with her rapier, tossing his limp body at the feet of those approaching, before turning my attention to Bernie. I nocked an arrow, and sent it at the kobold that was circling around her. It grazed his back. He wheeled on me. I sent another arrow that pierced right through his eye, and he dropped. Thank god I had Provoker to do its thing. Berryhop poked her head up from behind a clay water jug, and fired a glass sphere up at the cliff face. It exploded into thick smoke. The next volley of arrows went way wide of the cart. ¡°Good one!¡± I yelled. ¡°Thanks!¡± she called back, ducking back into cover. In moments, we¡¯d collapsed the attack, and sent them running for the hills. Bernie, and Rachel killed the few that couldn¡¯t escape. And then we were safe. The donkey had escaped harm, luckily. We¡¯d only been on the road a week. I¡¯d hate to have to pull the cart myself. We took the time to gather the kobolds, and laid them on the side of the road. We didn¡¯t burn them like the goblins. Apparently, there was no hazard to letting them lie past the typical scavengers it would attract. They didn¡¯t carry much on them, only scored a couple dozen silvers, and some arrows too short for our bows. But maybe they¡¯d fit a crossbow. After a couple more hours worth of travel, we set up camp for the night at the base of a grassy hill, shaded by tall shrubs. This was, of course, after we¡¯d vetted the shrubs for the presence of hiding kobolds. The cart had tents for each of us, but with Berryhop being so small, and Bernie and I being a couple, we ended up only using three. One for Bernie and I, one for Cal, and one for Berryhop and Rachel. Nights out here were cold, and we risked a fire to warm us before we wrapped up in blankets for the night. Cal had shot some prairie rabbits, and with Berryhop adding some mushrooms, we had a decent stew. Caleb had set us up with plenty of salt, mostly for food preservation, but we spared some for seasoning. And Cal had scrounged some spices, mostly herbs. I would have killed for some black pepper. But it was hearty enough, especially with some wine to wash it down.This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source. Rachel regaled Berryhop with the stories of our previous travels, with Bernie and I adding details where we could. Soon, it was deep into the night, but none of us seemed eager to pack it in. Maybe it was the afternoon¡¯s combat that had us jittery still. Or maybe it was the fact that we just enjoyed each other¡¯s company that much. Berryhop had proved to be a good addition to the team. Bernie didn¡¯t seem to be jealous of her, and even though she was still a little weird around me, we were learning to replace those strange feelings with new comradery. Cal sang some elven songs, and we all just listened. The night wind whistled through the brush, the crickets chirped their accompaniment, and the fire danced across his face in a staccato rhythm. When he was done, he bid us goodnight. That seemed to break the spell, and Berryhop headed in next. ¡°So, when are we finishing this?¡± Bernadette asked Rachel. Rachel gestured to me. I just shrugged. It was late, and my brain was fried. ¡°I mean, I think we all agree that we need to get stronger, and that we need to kill this dragon, but after that, is it enough?¡± Bernie asked. ¡°What level do we need to be to finally win this for good?¡± ¡°Should I ask the DM?¡± I offered. ¡°Not yet,¡± Rachel sighed. ¡°He¡¯d just be evasive.¡± ¡°Well,¡± I added, ¡°just to give us perspective, Caleb, uh King Caleb, is level 18 as a single class Paladin. And he was able to easily fight a Knight of the Word without backup. I think we¡¯d need to be at least that.¡± ¡°Okay. So we need to basically double our levels,¡± Rachel said. ¡°And just to let you know what we¡¯re up against, the monocle listed Sofia¡¯s level as 32,¡± I added. ¡°32?!¡± Bernadette gasped. ¡°Yep. And she has almost 300 hit points.¡± ¡°Shit,¡± Rachel cursed. ¡°Yeah, I think that settles it,¡± I said. ¡°We all need to be epic level. Even Caleb. If we reach level 20, I think we¡¯ll have what it takes to beat this, and go home.¡± ¡°And we need to start thinking of picking up Boons as well,¡± Bernadette said. ¡°Killing this dragon should do it. But any ¡®significant feat¡¯ is supposed to work as well.¡± ¡°Would killing Captain Wen count?¡± I asked. Rachel gazed into the fire, and took a sip of wine. ¡°I think if Killing Captain Wen didn¡¯t count,¡± Bernie said. ¡°I¡¯d be pissed as hell. She¡¯s the baddest lieutenant Sofia has.¡± ¡°Then it¡¯s decided,¡± Rachel said. ¡°We get to level 20, and then we finish this.¡± Rachel stood. ¡°Good night y¡¯all.¡± Soon, it was just Bernadette and me. She went to our tent. I checked on the donkey, made sure it had plenty of space to move around on its leash, and that it was securely tied, then followed. I sat next to Bernadette on the bedroll. She wordlessly put her arms around my neck, and kissed me. There is a myth ¡ª or maybe not a myth, more like an oversimplification ¡ª that over time passion dims, that the reason people constantly move from one person to the next, is that they are chasing that first spark of passion. I¡¯m not sure it works like that. I¡¯m not sure passion dims over time. But the shape of it changes. Instead of a rushing stream, where one must only dip their hands and drink, passion becomes a deep well, where one must let down a long rope to reach. In either case, the water is no less sweet. We¡¯d only been dating for less than two months. Things had not changed one bit. The fires of passion engulfed us in moments. My fingers dug into the soft skin of her hips at the hem of her shirt. Her teeth clicked against mine. My tongue sought hers. I pushed her down on the bedroll. She wrapped her legs around me. Soon, she was bucking her hips against me. I sat up just long enough to rip my shirt over my head. She smiled up at me, hooked her arms around my neck, and pulled me back down. When we were done, she mercifully let me regain my breath. I stared at the thin sliver of moonlight that had broken through the slit in the tent above us. She lay on her stomach next to me, eyes closed, serene in her nakedness, the small of her back just escaped from the covers. ¡°I¡¯m satisfied,¡± she cooed. ¡°Thank god,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m exhausted. That was enough for me.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know if I know what ¡®enough¡¯ means,¡± she said. ¡°But I¡¯m tired too.¡± She interlaced her hand with mine. ¡°I hate it here,¡± I said. ¡°But I think that if all of it was to be with you, it would have been worth it.¡± ¡°That¡¯s nice,¡± she said. ¡°I don¡¯t think of anything at all.¡± ¡°It¡¯s that good, huh?¡± I asked facetiously. ¡°I think we¡¯re that good,¡± she corrected. ¡°Indeed.¡± The silence stretched on for a while. I listened to her breathing. Eventually we both wrapped up in the blanket. She grabbed my arm, and I could feel her breasts against me, and her breath against my neck. ¡°I don¡¯t know what I¡¯d do if I lost you,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯m right here,¡± I whispered back. ¡°I¡¯m not going anywhere. What¡¯s this about?¡± ¡°If you weren¡¯t wearing your mail shirt, that arrow could have downed you.¡± ¡°But I was wearing my mail shirt,¡± I countered. She sat up on one arm. Her brown eyes gazed at me intently. ¡°We all rely on you. Not just for your healing. But even then, if you go down, even if we made it, the whole team would fall apart.¡± ¡°Then I¡¯ll just not go down. Wen wasn¡¯t able to do it. A thousand skeletons wasn¡¯t able to do it. And even then, Caleb can heal too.¡± ¡°Caleb isn¡¯t here.¡± ¡°He isn¡¯t, is he?¡± ¡°It¡¯s just us.¡± ¡°Then we¡¯re going to have to be enough. If nobody else will help us, we¡¯ll just have to be able to do it on our own.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t have many spell slots,¡± she said, eyes cutting to the top of the tent as she thought. ¡°But maybe I should swap out one of my spells for a healing spell. I wonder if Robin will let me.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure he will,¡± I said. I gave her a small kiss. She smiled. ¡°We really need to get some sleep,¡± she said. ¡°I was trying to,¡± I said. She bit me playfully on the shoulder. I grabbed her and kissed all along the side of her face and neck. ¡°Stop! Stop!¡± she said. We descended into giggles. Soon, we were both asleep. I slept deeply, hadn¡¯t slept so hard since we¡¯d left the tower. In the morning, we broke down the camp, and got the tents back into the cart. Cal spent some time at the top of the hill, scanning the horizon, looking for the best way forward. A butterfly alighted on the cart. ¡°Psst, you!¡± came a voice. I glanced around. The rest of the party was elsewhere. It was just me here. ¡°Yeah, you,¡± came the voice. Was it the butterfly? I popped the monocle in. Above the butterfly, where a name would have been, was just a mess of broken pixels. ¡°Yes, Mr. Butterfly?¡± I responded. ¡°I ain¡¯t got much time,¡± the voice said. ¡°What did your Wizard friend say when you told him about the Western Lighthouse?¡± ¡°Shit,¡± I muttered. I knew I¡¯d forgotten to tell Mark something. Chapter 51 The butterfly was likely the goblin we killed, the one with the cryptic message about where to find the DM. So he was back. Maybe. How? For a moment the unreality of the situation threw me outside of myself. It was just my body standing at the bottom of the hill next to this cart, this impossible butterfly sitting daintily on it, and the butterfly is talking to me, and my mind is spinning off into the unknown. It¡¯s a deep voice, masculine, and impossible. Butterflies don¡¯t have lips, and vocal chords, and all the things needed for this kind of voice. I knew this was a world of magic, but this somehow seemed too far. But then I was back. Maybe the voice is the heart of a person, maybe the body changes but you carry your voice with you? No, that didn¡¯t make sense. You could change your voice pretty easily. Especially if you go on T or something. Had a coworker that did that. But maybe that reinforced my theory? You know what: It was just magic. I remembered that I¡¯d been asked a question. ¡°I forgot to tell him,¡± I said. ¡°That¡¯s bad, kid,¡± the butterfly said, flapping its wings slowly. ¡°But maybe for the best if you¡¯se guys ain''t ready to do anything about it.¡± ¡°What would we do? And who are you anyway? First you were a goblin, now a butterfly?¡± ¡°Well, I was hoping you would do what you can, bring this whole place down on his ears. But that¡¯s for later I guess.¡± The butterfly hopped onto the other side of the cart, slightly closer to me. ¡°And as for who I am, I hardly remember. I just know I can make it out of The Well with a little bit of effort.¡± ¡°What well?¡± ¡°The Well of Souls.¡± ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± I asked. ¡°I can¡¯t be your exposition fairy, kid, some stuff you¡¯ll have to figure out on your own.¡± ¡°Well, what else are you here for?¡± ¡°To prompt you to action! To do something to end all of this, not just what you¡¯re told,¡± the Butterfly said, taking flight and flying in circles in front of me. ¡°We have to level up,¡± I said. ¡°We¡¯re tired of getting our ass kicked all the time.¡± ¡°Of course you do. But you also got to pay attention. Listen to the world. Listen to the people. There is so much you¡¯re missing.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t have time. We have to move. Always the next thing to do.¡± ¡°I get it, you¡¯re in love with your new girl, but that¡¯s how he gets you, he gets you caught up in the romance, dazzles you with spectacle, so you miss the pillars holding up this place.¡± ¡°The DM didn¡¯t have anything to do with me, and Bernadette.¡± ¡°Oh really? Would you two have gotten together if you¡¯d been back where you came from?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know. Maybe. But what do you mean ¡®pillars,¡¯ like the whole system of PC¡¯s versus NPC¡¯s?¡± ¡°No such distinction in the end. We¡¯re all trapped here. Can¡¯t even die like we should ¡®til we escape. No, I mean the literal pillars ¡ª the four towers that anchor this place under the bones of the world.¡± ¡°What does that mean? We¡¯re headed to a tower on a lake. Is that one?¡± ¡°Good! That¡¯s good! Yes! That¡¯s one of them. Not his tower, but maybe you¡¯ll find clues to how this place works.¡± ¡°That sounds too convenient,¡± I said. ¡°I doubt we¡¯ll find out anything good in a side quest.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t discount the sidequests, kid. Learn a lot from smelling the roses.¡± ¡°So which is it, we¡¯re either wasting our time leveling up, or we¡¯re ¡®smelling the roses.¡¯ Which should I do?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not what you do, it¡¯s how,¡± he said, alighting back on the cart. ¡°You think I escaped the Well of Souls by keeping my head down? I paid attention.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t understand what you¡¯re talking about,¡± I stated. ¡°Ah, shit!¡± The butterfly took flight. ¡°It¡¯s a bird!¡± A swallow swooped in, and caught the butterfly, zooming off with it. ¡°He¡¯s eating me! He¡¯s eating me!¡± Was all I heard. And then nothing. Well, shit. I learned basically nothing from that. Other than that we were on the right track. And that apparently this guy believed we all had souls, and that we were all trapped here. Which didn¡¯t much change things in my mind. We already wanted to get home. The idea that we could be trapped here even if we died, didn¡¯t really change that for me. I met up with Bernadette, and recounted what I¡¯d heard. She was silent for a time, then said ¡®let¡¯s just be careful on this next quest.¡¯ I didn¡¯t mention the thing he said about the DM bringing us here being responsible for our relationship. I wasn¡¯t sure that was true for one. And for two, I didn¡¯t like the implication that our choices were out of our hands. She didn¡¯t need to be saddled with that. Besides, she¡¯d already admitted she thought I was cute at the game table. Maybe we would have hooked up anyway. I wasn¡¯t sure I believed in destiny or anything, but we were compatible, and I couldn¡¯t have gone on pining for Sofia forever. Right? Back on the road again, Cal led us through a shortcut across a game trail. He¡¯d grown his hair out some, his hair sticking out from under his green cap, and his beard filling in a bit under his thick mustache. He looked good, older, with the hair grown out. I sometimes forgot that he was in his early twenties, just a little younger than me. He¡¯d kept the axe we¡¯d gotten from the ogre all those months ago, and had it shoved through his belt. He¡¯d also added a long dagger to compliment it. Said it was a gift from Caleb. Wouldn¡¯t elaborate on if it was magic or not, but it would have made a poor gift if it wasn¡¯t. He hadn¡¯t been forced to use them but I wondered how practiced he was with them. Maybe we should do some sparring when we get some down time. Out here we were in his element, but I made sure I kept my eyes open too. Nothing about this world was safe. My eyes scanned the low brush and the scrubby grasses. But then my mind started to wonder. Maybe I had some kind of undiagnosed ADHD, or maybe my Zach-brain just wasn¡¯t good at this kind of thing, but after some time I focused less on the threats beyond, and more on my inner thoughts. First, it was that fight with the kobolds, then it was those good kobolds who had served me my first fantasy tacos, then it was that time I¡¯d gotten tacos with Sofia in the early hours of the morning because she¡¯d wanted help grabbing a box of her stuff from her ex¡¯s house, and my car broke down and we¡¯d had to walk with the box twelve blocks to find cell service, and at that point we were starving.You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author. Not wanting to think about her too much, my mind went to the particular shape of my girlfriend¡¯s ass, when edge lit by the moonlight. Then, so on and so forth until I realized I had fallen well behind Cal, and I was walking next to Rachel. Rachel didn¡¯t notice because she was texting someone on her slate. I glanced around. I saw Berryhop asleep under a tarp she¡¯d thrown between two barrels in the back of the cart, but also Bernadette shading her eyes with her hand, and scanning the brush, so that at least two of us were keeping vigilant. Who was Rachel texting? I glanced over her shoulder. Rachel instinctively turned the slate away from me. ¡°Woah,¡± I said, ¡°who¡¯s that?¡± ¡°None of your ¡ª¡± she stopped angling the slate. ¡°I mean, I guess you can know. It¡¯s Helena.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°We all got chess apps on our slates a couple days ago.¡± I hadn¡¯t noticed. My downtime had sort of been spoken for by a woman who couldn¡¯t seem to keep her hands off me. A problem that wasn¡¯t really a problem so much as a ludicrously fortunate gift from God. If he still existed out here. ¡°We did?¡± I asked. ¡°Yeah,¡± Rachel replied, as if it should be obvious. ¡°And Helena came pre-installed as an opponent. We¡¯ve been playing off and on. Our Slate IDs are right under our usernames. She must have gotten it from that. Texted me out of the blue. Been going back and forth for a bit.¡± ¡°You think you can turn her?¡± I asked. ¡°Maybe,¡± she admitted. ¡°But I don¡¯t know. Or maybe she lets something slip that gives us a leg up. Or maybe she hesitates the next time she fights us, and that gives us the win.¡± ¡°Or maybe you think she¡¯s cute,¡± I said. Rachel gave me a sly smile that soured into a grimace. ¡°Is that bad?¡± My eyes cut to Bernadette, and the sway of her shapely hips, and the delicate pale hand on one of her daggers. ¡°I don¡¯t have much room to talk,¡± I admitted. ¡°The love of my life is a remorseless assassin, and the previous girl I was obsessed with is currently plunging the realm in bloody misery, so¡­ yeah flirt with the crazed battleaxe wielding maniac. At least she¡¯s honest about her murders.¡± Rachel sighed, tapped the send button on her text, then turned to me. ¡°Yeah, I wasn¡¯t really listening. But you approve?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know about ¡®approve,¡¯ so much as ¡®remove myself from judgement.¡¯¡± ¡°Fair enough,¡± Rachel said with a laugh. ¡°What¡¯d she say?¡± I asked. ¡°Here,¡± Rachel said, handing me the slate.
Helena: ?Vesme, Requel, que atada a la cadena de Amor, paso en sus hierros aherrojada, m¨ªsera esclavitud, desesperada de libertad, y de consuelo ajena?
Oriana: Good morning to you too. Is this a movie quote?
Helena: You think you¡¯re such hot shit, don¡¯t you?
Oriana: It was just one kiss, Helena. Am I missing something? Is this an admission?
Helena: Nah. Just bored between training. You¡¯re lucky we had those bars between us last time, huh?
Oriana: You seemed to be able to escape them easily enough. Not sure they were much obstruction at all. What was really holding you back?
Helena: Maybe I was looking out for you
Oriana: Baby, I can look out for myself. If you want something, just ask.
Helena: There she is. Raquel te crees muy muy
Oriana: I can¡¯t help but think this conversation would work better in person. If you promise to leave the axe at home, maybe I''ll drop you a pin.
¡°Rachel!¡± I exclaimed. Berryhop opened an eye to see what the fuss was about. I dropped my voice low. ¡°You kissed the axe murderer?¡± ¡°Just once!¡± ¡°And you invited her to see us?¡± Berryhop seemingly went back to her nap. ¡°It¡¯s just banter!¡± Rachel said defensively. ¡°That wasn¡¯t banter, that girl is smitten.¡± ¡°Nah.¡± I pointed to the first part of the text chain. ¡°That¡¯s poetry,¡± I said. ¡°You can¡¯t read Spanish,¡± Rachel accused. She was right. ¡°Bernie can,¡± I said. Gesturing to Bernadette. She grabbed Cal, who stopped the donkey. Soon, we were all gathered around Rachel¡¯s slate. ¡°Oh my god guys,¡± Rachel said, ¡°this isn¡¯t that big a deal.¡± ¡°I couldn¡¯t care less,¡± Cal said, glancing around. ¡°But let¡¯s hurry up.¡± ¡°This is the biggest deal,¡± Bernie said. ¡°Give me a sec.¡± Her eyes scanned the texts. ¡°Yeah,¡± she said gravely, ¡°it¡¯s as I feared. Sor Juana. Mexican love poetry. Vaguely queer Mexican love poetry. May as well be quoting Sappho.¡± ¡°Really?¡± Rachel asked. ¡°What¡¯s it say?¡± I asked. ¡°Shackled by the chains of love, a slave yearning for freedom, yada yada, she wants you carnally.¡± ¡°Well, I know that,¡± Rachel said. ¡°The kiss was pretty intense.¡± Bernadette slugged her on the good arm. ¡°She wants to kill us!¡± ¡°Not me, apparently,¡± Rachel said. ¡°You were serious about dropping a pin!¡± I accused. ¡°We are about to fight a dragon, and its army of elves besides,¡± Rachel reminded. ¡°If there is even a chance her feelings are genuine, shouldn¡¯t I try?¡± ¡°What about Braelyn?¡± Bernadette asked. ¡°What about her?¡± Rachel said with a shrug. ¡°The woman loves you,¡± I said. I can¡¯t pretend I didn¡¯t have a dog in this fight. Braelyn was the clear best choice for the party. Not having a dedicated mage was the one weak point of our group. We didn¡¯t need another melee specialist. But I liked Helena enough from what I¡¯d seen. She just also seemed like a lost cause. At least in the direction we were going. If we were getting her on our side, we needed to go after her father first. ¡°Maybe,¡± Rachel said. ¡°But she hasn¡¯t admitted to that fact. And she wants to fix me.¡± ¡°Is that so wrong?¡± I asked. Both Rachel and Bernadette gave me a look. Not sure if they were coming from the same place, but they seemed united in distaste of the idea. ¡°I have a preference for folk that have their shit together,¡± Cal said, ¡°but maybe that¡¯s just because I¡¯m a mere mortal, and not a Promised Champion. You guys seem absolutely ardorous for chaos.¡± ¡°You go after Helena,¡± I said, ¡°this probably closes the door on anyone else,¡± I said, meaning Braelyn, but also being vague enough it could mean someone else. I¡¯d seen how Berryhop looked at her. Not that Rachel would treat her right either. Poor girl. ¡°If Braelyn wanted me,¡± she said, ¡°she¡¯d be here.¡± ¡°Let''s get back on the trail,¡± Cal said. When we next set up camp, Bernadette turned in early. She wasn¡¯t cut out for extended periods of this kind of travel, so she wisely hit the hay. We were still a couple of days out from the next town, and several days after that was the lake with the tower. I had time to think, and time to wonder. I opened the new chess app on my slate. The interface was clean and simple, just a list of opponents, and an input bar to add new people to the list. I clicked on a name that seemed new to me, some guy named Hector. Since I was the one to initiate a new match, I was given white. I opened with a king-side knight. Let¡¯s see how he responded.