《The OverAchievements of Oakland Burns - [Character-Focused GameLit Comedy]》 1 - I Want You to Scream (With Delight!) You¡¯re not ready for this rollercoaster. That¡¯s why you think you are here, is it not? To be taken for a ride? One filled to bursting with thrills, unexpected twists and turns! How about a loop that makes you throw up in your mouth a little bit? That¡¯s what good rollercoasters do after all¡­ So why aren¡¯t you buckled in? Oakland Burns was buckled in, because he¡¯s not a big dumb dummy, and he was having the time of his life! It really was the perfect reset after the rigors of university life. Spring break; A chance to go out with his friends to the nearest trademark-friendly amusement park, and convince Fig that she would indeed have a good time. ¡°I¡¯M GOING TO KILL YOU ALLLLLLLL!¡± And it was going very well. Oak laughed, and shared a grin with Toni to his side as they started their climb to the tallest drop yet. The anticipation grew as the cart chck chck chck-ed up the slope. ¡°Roy hasn¡¯t said a word since we got on,¡± Toni said. ¡°Look, his knuckles have gone white!¡± Oak raised his eyebrows; she was right! ¡°Come, on fancy-pants, enjoy yourself a little!¡± He called to the back of his friend¡¯s head. ¡°Let out a scream on the next one!¡± Roy cocked his head, and looked at Oak from the corner of his eye. ¡°Is that the normal reaction?¡± He said, strained. ¡°Yes!¡± Oak said exasperated. The man relaxed¡ªhis tension deflating like a balloon sputtering about the office. Wait, that was too much release! Now Roy looked like he was taking a leisurely stroll through the park on a quiet fall evening. Oak opened his mouth to set his friend back on the straight and narrow¡ªbut Fig discovered something more urgent. ¡°FOR THE LOVE OF¡ª!¡± Right. The rollercoaster. The cart tipped over the last curve, and dropped! Instantly the wind blew into his face, and his whole body squished as it pressed into the seat holding him in place. ¡°WooooOOOAH!¡± he screamed, fear and delight mixing in a confusing mess that on reflection could only be described as exhilaration! ¡°HUUUGHHH!¡± Fig screeched in tandem, along with Toni. ¡°Ooooh.¡± Roy said. Darling man, he really was trying. What a wonderful chorus they sang with each other. It was times like these that made Oak feel alive. Not just this coaster, but the time he spent with his friends. He could honestly take or leave this amusement park, or any other high-octane activity. As long as he had Fig, Toni, and Roy with him, he was happy; Everything felt right! The cart rushed to the end of the drop, and curved around to the right. Oak¡¯s hands¡ªheld high in the air¡ªflopped to the side, and hit Toni in the shoulder, then the cart careened to the other side and Oak got the same treatment from her. Next was the twist! Oak could see it coming just ahead of them! As he felt the torque throw him around, Oak let out a laugh that had more hysteria in it than was proper. And then they kept twisting. One revolution turned into two, and two to three. Wasn¡¯t there only one twist in the track!? Oak¡¯s vision swirled like a mirror had been grabbed in the middle then warped towards his face. Round and round they went, and yet there was no possibility of passing out and skipping this horrible trip. He kept screaming, but he was sure there shouldn¡¯t be enough air, and he couldn¡¯t hear himself or the others. Just a rumbling growl he could feel in his chest. Then he tasted cilantro. What was going on!? Why couldn¡¯t he move his head or twitch a finger or blink or look away!? Directly in front of him, a volumen scroll unfurled. [Hello Player! Welcome to the World of¡ª] ¡°---AGHHHHH!¡± Finally, the tail of his captive scream burst out of him like a firework of fear, and distress. A wave of something viscous and shimmering black crashed into his face blinding him, while at the same time he fell on top of something tall, lanky, and fashionably understated. ¡°¡ªOOH¡ªeumph!¡± Roy belched, his real scream interrupted. Oak heard nothing but the clatter of bodies falling to the floor, and wooden tools being knocked over, polysyllabic shouting and¡ª Krumph! A door being kicked open hard enough to scatter wood splinters into the hall. ¡°Finally!¡± Fig cried, ¡°I hate cramped spaces.¡± ¡°B-But, you were in this closet for less than ten seconds.¡± Toni pointed out shakily. ¡°Still too long.¡± Fig grunted. Oak stumbled out after the girls with wiping away at his face, trying¡ªsuccessfully or so¡ªto clear his eyes from the mystery gunk. ¡°Eugh, gross! What the hunk is happening?¡± Oak frowned. ¡°Heck Humpry Howitser. Heeeeeell¡ªo.¡± He shook his head, that was weird too. ¡°Yes, Oak, we hear you loud and clear.¡± Toni said flatly. ¡°What the heck is on your face?¡± She, and Fig crossed the distance and began scrubbing away with their sleeves. Well, Fig¡¯s sleeve, and Toni¡¯s jacket. They tried to be gentle, but three pairs of hands in his face was too many. He battered his friends away, annoyed. ¡°I got it, I got it!¡± ¡°Looks like ink,¡± Fig said, then frowned at her wrist. ¡°It¡¯s going to stain my shirt, isn''t it.¡± Roy got to his feet and joined the group in the hallway, dusting his clothes with his hands as he stepped. ¡°This is not how I thought our second night of holiday would go.¡± ¡°You can say that again,¡± Toni said. ¡°Did everybody see that parchment that came out at the end?¡± ¡°Yeah, before I got hit in the face with that ink shi-llac. What exactly is going on? Where are we?¡± ¡°Somewhere fancy, just look at this staircase¡ªand the wallpaper!¡± Toni scuttled to the banister and looked around her with a critical eye. ¡°It¡¯s such a lovely green! These are good patterns too, though¡ªhmm--¡±she squinted at a tucked away corner. ¡°It¡¯s peeling a bit, there. Roy, do you recognize what time period this was from?¡± Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site. Oak walked passed as Toni moved closer to inspect the flaw. Up the wide stairs, set into the wall sat a huge stained-glass window. Peering through it¡¯s warped colors and textures, Oak saw miles of farm plots rolling across the land, each filled with crops. Oak frowned. Those looked just about ready to harvest. In early spring? It didn¡¯t make any sense. ¡°So, we¡¯re in a dream, right? Or hallucinating¡­ Roy, what was in those chocolates you handed out earlier?¡± ¡°Hmm?¡± The man in question looked up from where he and Toni were studying the corner trims with consternation. ¡°Nothing unusual¡­ they were normal, common treats.¡± ¡°Common in Switzerland, perhaps.¡± Fig grunted. ¡°I¡¯ll still remember how good those were when my ashes are buried on the moon.¡± Roy winced. ¡°Be that as it may, there shouldn¡¯t have been any hallucinogens. Whatever is happening or whenever this is, I don¡¯t think it¡¯s because of something we ate.¡± ¡°Hypnosis then?¡± Oak asked weakly. His friends shook their heads. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. ¡°Then what is going on!?¡± Distantly, a single chime rang out in the air, followed by the low thunk of heavy wooden doors closing. ¡°I think we are trespassing.¡± Fig said quietly. Oh. Crap. Instantly, All four of them burst into a sprint up the stairs. Thumpthumpthumpthump Oak darted to the left, and followed the floor runner down the hallway until he skid to a stop in front of a flight of stairs that went up a turret, and a small rope cordoning off the next wing of the manor. He ducked under the rope, and made it six steps before his foot cracked through the floor, and he went tumbling down, breaking floorboards beneath his body. ¡°Oak!¡± Fig shouted, and ran straight through the rope barrier. She only made it three steps before the floor creaked ominously underfoot. She stumbled to a stop, then backed up slowly with a scowl on her face. ¡°Funking rich people.¡± ¡°Hey¡­!¡± Roy said, wounded. ¡°I mean¡ªyeah, can you believe them?¡± Oak moved to stand, but the splintered floor shifted dangerously underneath, and he froze. ¡°Take it slow!¡± Fig called. ¡°Spread your body weight¡ªlike you¡¯re on thin ice!¡± ¡°Considering how his last date with Becca went, he should be practiced by now.¡± Toni chirped. ¡°Now,¡± Oak growled, ¡°Is not the time.¡± He spread his hands and feet wide to find more stable ground. Finding it, he worked his way backwards in a spider-walk that made his muscles burn. Oak dared not slide his body, lest he slowly impale himself with a thousand wood-rotted splinters. Fig let out a laughing grunt ¡°It¡¯s always time to make fun of you. You were basically sculpted by Michelangelo himself.¡± Roy piled on.¡°Except Michelangelo liked men and Oak doesn¡¯t, so can you really call him perfection?¡± ¡°Oh, that was amazing! You¡¯re getting better!¡± Toni gave Roy a cheering high-five. Oak pulled himself up to his feet. ¡°We¡¯re in the middle of trying to escape!¡± ¡°Aha,¡± Roy began, a finger pointing to heaven in a stately fashion. ¡°But then why are you taking so lon¡ª¡± ¡°Later later later!¡± Oak yelled and pushed his friend back the way they came, making him stumble. Down the hall they sped, then down the stairs¡ª Thumpthumpthumpthump Up the other side¡ª Thumpthumpthumpthump And to the other wing. There was another flight of stairs for a turret, but thankfully the next hall had a rug running down its length, and wasn¡¯t blocked like the last one; It wasn¡¯t likely to kill them. ¡°You know,¡± Toni puffed. ¡°Where are all the paintings?¡± They came to a halt next to a heavy-set door that¡ªunlike the ornamented, yet thin entrances down the hall¡ªwas likely to lead outside. As Oak heaved one side open, he gave Toni a quizzical glance. ¡°You can see where they used to be up on the walls. Ghostly ovals and rectangles like that form after paintings have been hanging in the same place for years, preventing the slight difference in deterioration from open air.¡± ¡°So?¡± Fig asked, peeking outside. ¡°Sooooo,¡± Toni said. ¡°Where are they? They were on the walls, and now they¡¯re gone. It¡¯s just weird.¡± It was weird. So odd that they might have spent more time pondering it, if it weren¡¯t for the bunnies. Bunnies you say? Yes, I do say bunnies because ¡®bunnies¡¯ was what the courtyard was filled with. Not to bursting, no¡ªbut like, four or five of them. Which might not technically fill a large, open-air space like this up very much, but it was enough to distract you, and Oak¡¯s friend group. Most were down below on the ground level, and up, near the door was one. They were each flopped on the ground, eyes closed, absorbing the warm, humid air. Sunlight streamed from above, and soaked into the vines and plants hanging from the roof, gentling a summer afternoon into a sleepy, little, rabbit scene. ¡°Oh. My. Goose.¡± Fig breathed. ¡°They are so cute!¡± ¡°Goose?¡± Toni asked. ¡°Roy, tell me you know how to gain their trust!¡± ¡°Err¡­ My experience with animals is more¡­ equestrian.¡± Everybody looked at him. And he panicked. ¡°I mean¡ª it was very horsey!¡± Fig scowled, then looked to Oak. ¡°You¡¯re up.¡± ¡°What.¡± He said flatly. ¡°You see the white one with black spots¡ªit¡¯s the closest one.¡± She pointed. ¡°Just mosey on down to the little guy, and give him your most charming smile. The one you give girls with huge tater-tots.¡± Oak flushed, and took in a huge breath to chew her out for her disrespect of women¡ªbut she stuck a finger to his lips. ¡°Shush-sh-sh. You¡¯re hot so it¡¯s mostly fine. Toni and I don¡¯t judge that much. Right Toni?¡± The woman in question just raised an eyebrow. ¡°Tater-tots?¡± ¡°See? So just lure him over so I can pet him.¡± She grabbed Oak by the shoulders, and pleaded with some phenomenal puppy-dog eyes. But as the resident expert on charm, and getting his way on aesthetics alone, Oak was unmoved. ¡°I see you children! Stay right there!¡± Oh yeah, they didn¡¯t want to get caught! A blond man in his later hrmnrmr-ies pointed at them from the ground floor. His shout startled the rabbits, and they leapt to their feet, and scattered. One bunny¡ªwhite with black spots¡ªdove away, directly into Fig¡¯s arms! ¡°I¡¯ve been chosen!¡± She crowed, and all five of them made like an overzealous chastity cage and bolted for the final time. The other wing was rotted, and this one had no obvious way down that didn¡¯t intersect with the stranger, so the only option was the ground floor. So they ran. Past the ghost-of-paintings-past, around the corner, through the hall, down the stairs¡ª Thumpthumpthumpthump ¡ªand away from the ground floor courtyard. Unfortunately for Oak and the gang, this manor was home to more than one person. ¡°Usk! Where are you? The west wing hallway is about to collapse in on itself!¡± Roy stumbled to a halt, followed by Toni, Oak then Fig. The combined momentum of all four of them stopping on a dime transferred from their spry, young legs, into the rug at their feet. The ratty old, stitching hiding underneath the veneer of wealth tore like a strip of duct tape. And. They. Slid. For just a moment, Oak and his friends rode the rug like a surfboard down a wave. And then they crashed into the wall. ¡°Beloved Developers!¡± The girl cursed and ran over to the comotion. ¡°Fuz!¡± ¡°Shark!¡± ¡°Dart-it!¡± ¡°Hank!¡± ¡ªOak and his friends almost-swore in an order of such profound satisfaction I didn¡¯t have to think about it specifically. In a tangled pile on the floor¡ªnot the fun kind¡ªthey groaned¡ªagain, not in pleasure. Oak had slight rug-burn on his cheek. Roy was somewhere at the bottom which, according to rumor, was his favorite spot, though he was cagey about the issue. Tony was wedged between Fig, and the wall, and Fig herself was relatively fine at the top of the pile. In her hands, she held the bunny at an awkward angle, trying her best to keep it out of harm¡¯s way. She smiled in maternal relief that it was safe. Then the creature opened its eyes. They were black, like most rabbits. But¡­ uh¡­ You might wanna look away from this. The eyes came out of its skull. They unspooled thick cords of wet, pink flesh, like that of snails and slugs, if they were a krillion times more gross. The eye stalks lifted overhead, two¡ªthree times the height of the not-rabbit¡¯s body. They stared down at Fig like god when she¡¯s high¡ªI mean¡ªgod on high. ¡°Whaaaat.¡± Fig breathed. Then the thing bit her hand. 2 - Sweet Nothings and Somethings Oof. This was awkward with a capital ¡®A;¡¯ Oak and his friends sat tensely with quiet humility, while the Lady of the house¡ªyoung as she was¡ªglared down her nose imperiously. It was uncomfortable, all around. The floor wasn¡¯t soft even with the rug under-butt, and the silence that pervaded the office was brimming with anticipation. Just minutes ago Fig finally shut up, and now sat sulking with her back to Toni¡¯s while she quietly rubbed at her bandaged hand. Now all that was left was to have The Talk. No, not that ¡®The Talk!¡¯ Geeze dude, get your mind out of the gutter, I¡¯m pretty sure sex doesn¡¯t exist in this world¡ªnot without the parental settings turned off, and this isn¡¯t that kind of story! No. This ¡®The Talk¡¯ was the one a hot dog has right before it gets taken out of the package on the Fourth of July. With the most essential question being: ¡®Are you ready to be grilled?¡¯ Oak¡¯s eyes moseyed between the Lady and the blond man to her side. Usk was his name, if Oak remembered right. He seemed the type to find solace in silence rather than utilizing it as stinging nettle. The man had to be a trusted servant of some sort, but that¡­ unfortunate outfit belied a higher station than that. It was just¡ªthe wrong colors. The pleated pants and dovetail overcoat swirled with colors clearly chosen deliberately, but it just¡­ didn¡¯t work in this room! He stood out like a sore thumb! Yup, yup, yup. Looks like things were pretty serious. Oak came to the conclusion that neither of them was going to start the show any time soon. He might as well get things started. Oak opened his mouth a bit too late, though. ¡°Did you know that¡ªuh¡ªtorture has been found to be an ineffective method for extracting information?¡± The Lady blinked once, then turned in confusion to Toni. ¡°Uhm¡­¡± Toni said weakly. ¡°Studies have shown that intel collected this way was unlikely to be accurate. Not even to mention the effects on the subject, or¡ªuh¡ªadministrator. All around it¡¯s just not very good at what it tries to do!¡± A beat. ¡°Toni¡­¡± Fig said. ¡°Just¡­ Why?¡± Oak could swear that he could hear Toni blush. Seeing the familiar dismay on both his friend¡¯s faces, Oak couldn¡¯t help but let out a small laugh. ¡°Toni. I¡¯m pretty sure they aren¡¯t going to bring out the knives and pliers.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t imply they would!¡± Toni rushed to say, face pink. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to anyways. I just thought¡ªwell, I just thought it was neat. I was reading about World War 2 and there was this account of this German officer who used like, really humane measures to get information from his prisoners. With a bit of humanity they gave up a lot. In fact they all appreciated him so much, some stayed friends with him after the war!¡± ¡°No way!¡± Fig said in disbelief. ¡°I can confirm it.¡± Roy said, ¡°It was a terribly important lesson we had to learn in¡ªum¡ªmy other school.¡± ¡°It is totally true!¡± Toni exclaimed. ¡°Like, this officer would let some prisoners fly planes with limited fuel so they could feel that joy of being pilots again! But like, there¡¯s so much more to this story¡ª¡° ¡°Ahem¡­!¡± The Lady didn¡¯t clear her throat. She said that like a word. Everyone fell silent, once again aware that they were in a bit of a pickle. ¡°This¡­ was supposed to be when renovations would start. All my staff are away for their own safety. And now? I have such an incredible mess to clean up I can¡¯t have the architect over for days.¡± Oak blinked, and gave the girl an apologetic smile. ¡°I can see why you¡¯d be distressed, miss. We really didn¡¯t mean to break anything, or trespass at all! It¡¯s a long story, if you have the time, but the short of it is¡ª¡± ¡°Lady.¡± Usk growled. ¡°Hmm?¡± ¡°Mistress Tegan is the head of this manor, and House Scowle. You will address her as Lady.¡± His tone brooked no argument. Oak frowned slightly, and raised his eyebrows. Toni at his side wiped at her brow. ¡°Sure thing.¡± Oak shrugged. ¡°Lady Scowle, I promise you we meant no harm.¡± Lady Tegan sharply turned from Oak¡¯s placid gaze, and walked to the window that overlooked her land. ¡°What am I to do with you?¡± She gripped her dress tighter. ¡°You¡¯ve cost me hundreds of gold worth of damage and delays. You invaded my home, and as we speak there are who-knows-how-many creatures desecrating it a second time. So.¡± She turned back around and stared down each of them with eyes of cool water. ¡°What, am I, to do. With you.¡± She let the silence build once again, the weight of her displeasure bearing down on them all. ¡°Tch.¡± Fig scoffed, and got to her feet. She stared defiantly at Tegan for another moment. Then she smiled like a cheese-grater¡­ ¡ªWhat! It makes sense! It¡¯s sharp, and unconventional weapon¡ªHey. where do you get off with criticizing my story!? Get back here so I can beat you to a¡ª Fig held that smile, then looked to her friends with raised eyebrows. ¡°Heh.¡± She walked right out of the office. Huh. Oak looked to his friends with surprise, and got to his feet. ¡°Wait, just one second.¡± Tegan said, her voice rising. Oak followed after Fig, and Toni jumped up to join him. ¡°Where do you think you¡¯re going!? Usk!¡± The man moved to intercept Roy, But Tony grabbed his hand and pulled him along. ¡°Mistress, I have no combat [Skills] of note.¡± Usk, frustrated, and impotent glared at them as they walked right on out. ¡°Come back here this instant!¡± Tegan shrieked. Oak and his friends joined back up with Fig, and wandered down the hallway to look for the nearest exit. Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings. ¡°How did that possibly work?¡± Roy asked. ¡°It was her speech, right Fig?¡± Oak said. Fig grunted in the affirmative. ¡°All that moaning and groaning about the trouble we¡¯re in? It¡¯s just property damage.¡± ¡°Additionally,¡± Toni added cheerily. ¡°Now we know no one else is on the estate, so she can¡¯t realistically use the threat of violence to force us!¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t catch that¡­ I do feel bad, though,¡± Oak said. ¡°We did break her stuff.¡± ¡°Eh.¡± Fig said. ¡°We¡¯ve just been sucked into a children¡¯s story book, she can stuff her floorboards up her abacus.¡± She scowled suddenly. ¡°Why can¡¯t I say asparagus? Asbergers.¡± ¡°It¡¯s been occurring since we got here,¡± Roy said. ¡°It¡¯s because we¡¯re sequestered in a parallel cosm with incongruent principles of reality.¡± He stopped short ¡°Um¡ª! Parallel means right next to each other in¡ªin perfectly straight lines!¡± He was shouting near the end. Toni patted him on the cheek fondly. ¡°Sweety, we¡¯re all familiar with ¡®parallel.¡¯¡± ¡°Ah. Found it.¡± Oak opened up the door to the outside. Lady Tegan and Usk waited there for them. He stood to the side with a silver platter resting on his hand, staring into the middle-distance. Tegan sat at a table in the middle of the path, and was idly going over documents. She was trying to hide it but she was breathing harder than usual, though Usk looked like such a perfect picture of stalwartness that the image was probably rendered in pastel and stored somewhere in the Louvre. It was probably the lighting. ¡°Ah, wonderful, you¡¯re here!¡± She said, and put her notes to the side, and gave the group a brilliant smile. Usk put down the platter in the center of the table, and pulled the top off to reveal half a dozen pastries with green filling. ¡°Please, make yourself at home. I have a proposal I promise you¡¯ll want to hear.¡± Fig narrowed her eyes. ¡°She¡¯s just going to pretend that our earlier chat didn¡¯t happen? Let¡¯s just go¡ª¡± Oak held up a hand to forestall her. ¡°I want to try something, if you don¡¯t mind.¡± He asked. Fig let out a huff, and leaned her back against the door frame. ¡°Don¡¯t break her too badly.¡± Toni said with a teasing lilt. Oak frowned, then turned back to the waiting Lady. His friends didn¡¯t really get it. They acted like he was some sort of bludgeon of sexiness meant to conk someone over the head with. But flirting didn¡¯t work like that, most of the time. Even if it did, that would ruin the fun! Yes, there was push and pull, but it was never about wins and losses. It was about what felt good. What was exciting, or heartwarming! Oak loved to flirt because he was always surprised in just how many ways two people could like each other. He learned something new with every woman he met on the playing field¡­ It was just a bit sad that he didn¡¯t have time to craft a fresh uniform. Oak covertly brushed back his hair, and adjusted his close in half-a-dozen stupid little ways. Tegan, for her part, was stunning. He wasn¡¯t up to date with¡­ well any of this world fashion customs, but her dress fit exceptionally on her nearly-thick frame. She wore gloves that disappeared into her sleeves, and wore heavy-laden makeup. Curiously, her necklace was overrun with trinkets. Small metal symbols, shamrock, even a rabbit¡¯s foot. Her silken auburn hair was pulled taut by a pair of long pins shaped from brass, but the biggest show-piece of them all, was her expression. Open radiance shown from her smile, and the crinkle of her eyes. Beautiful in it¡¯s own right, but there was something else hiding behind those silver irises. Just what did she actually want? It was alluring, the mysteries secreted by flower petals yet to bloom. He wanted to know. And he wanted to help his friends out of a tricky situation. Supposedly, opposite sentiments that should war within him. But Oak did not do war. Forever and always, he would play. Oak approached the waiting Lady, and picked up the empty, tucked-in chair. ¡°Well, Lady Tegan,¡± He began with a warm smile. ¡°You obviously have something in mind. I¡¯d love to hear what you have in store.¡± Oak set the chair down right next to her. He sat down casually, facing slightly towards her with an open posture. He did not loom. Looming was a quick way to scare just about anybody, and most people needed to be in a certain mood to be aroused and frightened at the same time. ¡°Well¡­¡± Tegan picked up her notes and tapped them on the table, aligning them. She was expectedly nervous, but it was too early to tell if it was because of Oak¡¯s proximity, or the situation as a whole. She turned in her seat towards him, and tilted her head slightly. ¡°I would like to take you.¡± She said, ¡°All four of you, to be my personal retainers.¡± Oak¡¯s heartbeat ramped. At her movement, her legs had come close to his, just breaths away from touching. He raised an eyebrow. ¡°Oh? And what kind of work would that entail?¡± He gently rested his knee against hers as he held eye contact. She didn¡¯t pull away, and stuttered her next words. ¡°O-oh. Just¡­ Whatever.¡± She flushed, and looked away. ¡°I apologize, that¡¯s not very specific is it?¡± He felt a smile creeping up his cheeks. This was so fun! Tegan continued. ¡°Typically, retainers of this station are a sort of¡­ intimate servant. They hold onto important personal affects, are kept in close confidence, and help the¡ªemployer with maintaining their public image¡­¡± She took a steadying breath. ¡°Currently, however, I require something more unorthodox¡­ You are¡­ special.¡± Oak blushed slightly, only as much as a carnation. ¡°On that I¡¯m sure I can agree. Fig is as ambitious as they come, Toni is the smartest girl I¡¯ve met, and Roy can survive anywhere, and I¡­¡± He hesitated. Now was the time for a risk. He grinned with just the right amount of outrageous cockiness. ¡°I know just how intoxicating a pair of eyes can be.¡± Tegan flushed from her neck up to the tips of her ears. She shrunk in on herself, disappearing into her dress. She vacillated between glaring, and staring up at him with enormous puppy-dog eyes. ¡°Shut up¡­¡± Oak grinned. This was what flirting was about. Finding those strange contradictions people held at their core, what made them¡­ them. The merits of the game itself would always be enjoyable, but seeing those skirmishing feelings in Tegan blew the base frivolity away. Now, I have it on good authority that this sentiment makes Oak a massive pervert! It sometimes scares people, accidentally revealing something they held so close to their hearts¡­ And because he¡¯s a freak, Oak enjoys terrifying people like that, only to sit calmly nearby until the other realized they were safe. Like they had been entrenched behind barbed wire, and artillery had blown through the defenses. They had been trained to know that they would be stabbed in the chest, and scarred all over again¡­ But Oak¡ªthe sicko¡ªwas not a trained soldier. He was a Player. That wasn¡¯t to say that everyone saw it in such reasonable terms. Some people saw his face and hair, and only thought the worst. Usk plopped the platter of pastries in his lap with a barely disguised glare. ¡°These should sate you.¡± Usk said. Oak smiled a ¡®thank you¡¯ before returning his attention to the Lady. She had turned back fully to the table, with her legs crossed¡­ that seemed intentional. Her ears still darkened with redness that mirrored Oak¡¯s own flushed cheeks. Her eyes darted away from him at his studious glance, though she seemed to be under control for the most part. To give her that time, Oak finally tried one of those pastries with green filling. It was sweet, and vegetal, though not in a bad way. It was in the same genre as carrot cake. It was quite nice! ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡± She said. Oak cocked his head in surprise. Huh, he hadn¡¯t introduced himself had he? That was embarrassing. With a wince he told her. ¡°Oak. Short for Oakland Burns.¡± ¡°Oak¡­¡± She tasted the sound of it with a quirk of her lips. ¡°That¡¯s an unusual name.¡± He sighed and leaned back into his chair, closing his eyes. ¡°Yeah¡­ Yeah that¡¯s what I¡¯ve heard.¡± All his life in fact. ¡°Not too common on your world, is it?¡± Tegan said. ¡°It¡¯s not a big deal. It used to annoy me as a kid, but I¡¯m used to it by now. Fig get¡¯s it worse, but she¡¯s less conservative with bodily harm than I am¡­¡± Wait a second. A chill ran down Oak¡¯s back as he realized exactly what the girl¡ªthe calculating woman had said. So he opened his eyes, and turned his head. Lady Tegan of House Scowle smiled at him. A sweet, slightly smug smile to be sure, but her eyes! Her eyes were filled with a blaze he hadn¡¯t seen until now. ¡°I can get you back home.¡± She whispered. ¡°I just need a couple young servants for just about a month.¡± Suddenly, his mouth was dry, and he gripped the platter in his hands tightly. ¡°Don¡¯t be so frightened.¡± She said sweetly. ¡°I only want gold, and I know exactly how you¡¯ll get it for me; Mountains of it!¡± She picked up a sweet, and nibbled on it with a giggle. ¡°I don¡¯t expect you to die too many times.¡±