《To Walk The Red Path {A Story of Dungeon Crawling and Revenge}》 Chapter 1 - A Dungeon Portal Coming home after a long day at school, a terrible hockey practice session, and a long, dark walk home in the cold bleak rain, Jeremy Wilkins shivered and dripped his way to his bedroom. After changing and drying off, he opened his bedroom closet to toss in his wet clothes and found a large black hole that hadn''t been there that morning. Hole might be the wrong term. It was an upright five-foot-diameter pool of inky blackness replacing the dull gray wood paneling in the back of Jeremy''s closet. In his ten years of life, Jeremy had seen nothing like it. For a moment, he wondered if his older brother was playing a joke on him. He couldn''t imagine why. To play a joke on him, Andrew would have to acknowledge his younger brother''s existence. Andrew was supposed to have given Jeremy a ride home from school that day, but Jeremy had known that wouldn''t be happening. At present, Andrew was talking to friends in the next room, his voice cutting through the silence as the skunk smell of marijuana seeped from under his bedroom door into the hallway. The hole, an upright pool of black ink, blacker than his friend''s high-priced flat-screen TV, or anything else Jeremy had ever seen, sat there looking scary and alien. Jeremy reached out to touch it, but then it occurred to him that might be a bad idea. He pulled his hand back quickly. Jeremy sat down at his wobbly, brown, particleboard desk and activated his old gray laptop, pushing aside speakers he didn''t dare use because his brother would throw a fit if Jeremy played music, or did anything else that made noise. On the other end of his desk lay the forlorn pieces of his friend''s drone he''d promised to fix, not because he knew anything about drone repair, but because it was his fault the drone was broken. Jeremy pulled up the group chat site. Jeremy, you know you''re supposed to get the hockey puck into the opposing team''s goal, right? One of his teammates had posted a half hour before. Shut up, Jeremy thought. It was just a practice game, and it wasn''t his fault he had trouble lining up his shots when an opposing team member twice his size stood in the way. At the moment, defending his poor hockey performance was the last thing on his mind. There''s this strange inky black hole in my closet about five feet across. Anyone know what it is? He clicked send. Nothing. His internet had crashed, and the Router was in his brother''s room. So that wasn''t happening. He reached for his cellphone to send a text message, but he had no cellphone service either. He was on his own. Not seeing what else to do, he picked up an old shoe with holes in it that his feet had long since outgrown. He pushed the shoe into the inky blackness, encountering no resistance, then pulled it out again. The shoe looked fine¡ªin no worse shape than before. He threw the shoe into the hole, then left the room to check behind the closet. The wall behind his closet looked fine. He rapped the wall with his knuckles to be sure. Nothing happened. It even felt normal. The hole, or portal in his closet didn''t appear to extend to the rest of the house. He returned to his room, wondering what to do next. The shoe flew out of the hole and smacked him on the head. Ow! What the heck? Getting an idea, Jeremy grabbed his cellphone and tied it to the end of his bathrobe belt, ensuring the knot was tight enough that the cellphone wouldn''t fall out. He put the phone''s camera on record and tossed his cellphone gently into the hole. He waited a minute¡ªthen pulled it back. Something about the way it dragged on its return made his skin crawl. He backed away from the hole, keeping his distance. When his belt came out of the portal, the cellphone was gone and a teddy bear had taken its place. Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website. The knee high, generic brown teddy bear dropped to the floor. Its eyes glowed an angry red and its mouth opened impossibly wide, revealing razor-sharp, shark-like teeth. With a snarl, it charged Jeremy, its teddy bear arms and legs windmilling it forward. For a long second, Jeremy froze, seized by a feeling of unreality. This had to be happening to someone else. Someone trapped in one of those science fiction horror movies he didn''t even like and he only watched so his friends wouldn''t think he was chicken. Just before the teddy bear reached him, he cried out, stepping backward, trying to kick it away. Its teeth sank into his foot, going through his shoe, causing him to fall to the floor in front of his dresser. He kicked out at it desperately with his other foot, sending the bear flying back, to thunk into his bedroom wall next to the poster of his favorite music group, ¡°The Hero''s Journey.¡± The teddy bear dropped to the floor unharmed, and charged him again. Jeremy pulled himself up, backing away until he bumped into his dresser. Reaching behind him, he grabbed the hockey stick he''d leaned against the dresser earlier and swung it at the charging teddy bear. The bear tried to dodge at the last second and failed. He sent it flying, slamming against the wall next to his bedroom door. Jeremy''s dartboard clattered to the ground. His brother pounded the wall and shouted something about keeping the noise down. On Jeremy''s second swing, the teddy bear bit into his hockey stick, sinking its teeth into it, holding on as Jeremy bashed the teddy bear against the floor, again and again. Until green goop came out of the teddy bear, the red glow left its eyes, and it stopped moving. It wasn''t until he saw his blood mixed in with the green goop, that he realized the bear''s razor-sharp teeth had gone well past his running shoe and deep into his foot. Jeremy was shaking so badly he could barely move. What was going on? What was that thing? And where was his cellphone? When he''d calmed down a little, he dropped his now broken hockey stick, rushed over to the closet, and slammed the door shut. No way was he leaving that open. Desperate, he used his nuclear option. He ran to his brother''s room and pounded on the door. After a minute of pounding, Andrew flung open his door. ¡°What?¡± Three other teenagers, Andrews friends, stared vacantly at Jeremy. Their bloodshot, dilated eyes made it clear they were as stoned as Andrew. ¡°S-something in my room bit me,¡± Jeremy stuttered from shock, still shaking. Andrew glared at Jeremy and looked down at Jeremy''s feet, noticing his torn-apart right shoe and his bleeding foot. ¡°You hurt your foot. Wow. Do I look like Mom? Put a bandage on that thing and quit trailing blood everywhere.¡± ¡°Hey, kid. You want a hit?¡± one of Andrew''s friends held out a pipe. ¡°You look like you could use it.¡± ¡°Don''t even joke about that, bro,¡± Andrew said. ¡°We share with him, and Mom will send me to military school. She would have already if she could afford it. Can''t stand that...¡± Andrew trailed off, grumbling darkly. Another time Jeremy might have taken issue with his brother''s treatment of the woman working two jobs to keep a roof over their heads, but now wasn''t the time. He limped to the bathroom. His foot began to hurt as the adrenaline wore off. He sat on the toilet, took off his shoe, and slowly peeled off his bloody sock. There was a ring of tooth marks behind his toes around his foot, with slashes the teeth had made when Jeremy had kicked the bear away. The first thing to do was clean off his foot and sterilize it. Since he knew nothing about what had bitten him, it would be best to take no chances. He stood up, sat on the edge of his bathtub, and ran water over his foot, watching his blood go down the drain. Then he pulled out the medical kit, covered the still bleeding bite marks with Betadine, and wrapped his foot in gauze. He wrapped the gauze in medical tape tight enough to make sure the gauze stayed put. Slipping his bare, but bandaged, foot back into his damaged, blood-stained shoe, he limped back to his brother. *** ¡°A teddy bear attacked you?¡± Andrew said after he''d finished laughing. ¡°Whoa, that''s a good one. You sure you didn''t trip over it?¡± ¡°It wasn''t a teddy bear. I said it looked like a teddy bear. It came out of this hole in my closet. Please, you need to check.¡± There was no way Jeremy was going back to his room by himself. Grumbling, Andrew reluctantly followed Jeremy to his room. ¡°What teddy bear?¡± ¡°It vanished.¡± Jeremy looked frantically for his attacker''s body, but it was gone. So was the green ooze. There was nothing but his blood, a broken hockey stick, and a messy room to show what had happened. He pulled open the closet door. The closet light was still on from before, and the inky black pool was still there. ¡°You see. It came out of that.¡± ¡°Came out of what?¡± Andrew asked. ¡°The closet? There''s nothing there.¡± ¡°That.¡± Jeremy entered the closet. ¡°This hole, right here. See?¡± He pointed at the hole. How could Andrew not see it? Jeremy felt his brother''s foot on his back as Andrew kicked as hard as he could, sending Jeremy flying forward, screaming as he went through the hole, falling into the unknown. Chapter 2 - Welcome to the Dungeon As Jeremy fell, the last thing he heard from behind the portal was the closet door slamming shut. *** Andrew chuckled inwardly, imagining Jeremy slamming into the back of the closet. He turned away, ignoring his younger brother''s frightened scream, not watching, caring, or noticing his younger brother vanish through the invisible (to him) portal. ¡°And you stay there until you chillax and quit being such a basic rodent!¡± Andrew pushed Jeremy''s dresser against the closet. That little rodent could come out when he''d calmed down and quit acting crazy. ¡°My little brother is such a puke-head,¡± Andrew moaned, rejoining his friends. ¡°I wish he would get eaten by monsters.¡± *** The next thing Jeremy knew, he was lying on the cold stone floor of a clean earthy-smelling cavern that appeared to be hammered out of solid rock. Many floating torches lit the huge cavern that could have held Jeremy''s house and yard, with plenty of room to spare. Jeremy groaned and got to his feet. The portal he''d come through had vanished. His cellphone was gone, and six more teddy bears were resting near the cavern''s only exit, a dark passageway under a stone archway most adults would need to duck underneath to enter. The archway was made up of large white stones covered with childish drawings. One drawing had two bright suns, three moons, and a rainbow. Smiling stick children played with teddy bears. Or were they running away from them? He wanted to examine the drawings more closely, but had no intention of going near the six teddy bears to do so. The teddy bears, fortunately, appeared inert, making no move to attack. ¡°No weapons, no armor, no character build, and you''re alone,¡± said a low-pitched gravelly voice behind him, making him jump and spin around. ¡°You are not very smart. I hope you''re not planning to become a spellcaster.¡± A small creature resembling a garden gnome looked up at him intently. ¡°Please, sir. Who are you? Could you tell me where I am?¡± Jeremy asked nervously. After the teddy bear attack, he wasn''t sure this creature was friendly. The creature stroked his long white beard and waddled towards Jeremy. At least he seemed to waddle. Jeremy couldn''t see his feet under his robes. Jeremy backed up nervously. ¡°Could I tell you? Of course I could. This is The Children''s Dungeon, after all. You have only to ask. My name is Boggan. And you are?¡± His eyes gazed into the distance. ¡°Ah. Jeremy Wilkins from a new world. My condolences. And you''re weak. All average attributes, without even the beginnings of a character build.¡± Shaking his head. ¡°Ooh. Things do not look good for you.¡± ¡°Well, I didn''t want to come here. I was pushed.¡± ¡°That is unfortunate,¡± Boggan replied. ¡°And what''s wrong with being from a new world?¡± Boggan looked away. ¡°Nothing, nothing at all.¡± ¡°Could I please go home?¡± Jeremy asked. ¡°Can you go home? Of course you can! Let me show you.¡± Boggan pulled up a holographic-like image from nowhere. It was transparent enough for Jeremy to see seven layers riddled with labyrinthine hallways. ¡°As you see,¡± Boggan pointed at the bottom of the map where a red X was located, ¡°you are here. To get home, you need to leave through that archway there.¡± He motioned towards the only archway in the room. ¡°Go down this hallway.¡± Boggan used his finger to point out the way on the map. ¡°Many passageways branch off this hallway, but if you ignore these, and follow the brightly lit red path going in the direction of the arrows, you can''t get lost. Where the path ends on this, the lowest floor, you will find the way to the second. On the second floor, you again follow the red path, and it will take you to the third, and so on. Continue like this to the seventh floor. From the seventh floor, the path leads to the center.¡± He pointed to a large room in the center of the topmost labyrinth. ¡°The room in the center of the seventh floor holds the portal that will take you home. A hydra lives in this room, but it''s very young, just learned how to breathe fire, mostly harmless. All you have to do is get past the mostly harmless hydra, jump through the portal, and you''re home.¡± Jeremy studied the winding pathway on the three-dimensional map, trying to use the room''s archway for reference. The path must go on for miles. ¡°How many monsters will I meet on this path?¡± he asked. Boggan looked away evasive. ¡°Not many. One or two, uh hundred. Give or take. Hard to tell. This is The Children''s Dungeon after all.¡± The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. ¡°What exactly is a children''s dungeon?¡± ¡°Didn''t I tell you? The Children''s Dungeon is a dungeon only children can see and enter. It''s a dungeon made to teach children about dungeons, monsters, character classes, and how to use the alternate energy source to level up and kill monsters.¡± ¡°Energy source?¡± ¡°You would know it as mana, or magic,¡± Boggan said. ¡°As you know, monsters eat children. The only way to prevent monsters from eating children is to send children into a dungeon with thousands--uh, I mean hundreds--of ravenous child-eating monsters.¡± Jeremy''s foot started hurting again. This couldn''t be happening, could it? Had to be a dream, a hallucination. ¡°That makes no sense! Couldn''t we eat our vegetables or something?¡± Boggan pulled himself up to his full 3-foot height, (including his pointed red hat), puffed out his chest, and glared at Jeremy, causing the boy to back away again. ¡°No! No! No!¡± Clearly, Jeremy had hit a sore point. ¡°Children should never eat vegetables. Monsters love eating children who eat their vegetables. Children who eat their vegetables taste better.¡± ¡°My mom would disagree with that statement,¡± Jeremy said. ¡°She told me to eat my vegetables, so I''d get big and strong, or the boogeyman would get me.¡± She''d been joking, but still. Boggan sighed. ¡°You are from a world new to dungeons and monsters. Your mother''s only experience is with imaginary monsters. But here, in the real universe, monsters are real.¡± Boggan produced a packet the size of a granola bar from the air and handed it to him. ¡°This is a dungeon ration. It''s good for you and comes with strength bonuses.¡± Jeremy pocketed the food bar. Food was the last thing on his mind right now. He watched the teddy bears by the archway. They remained still and silent, but he felt like they could attack at any moment. He was tired and his foot hurt from being bitten. To his embarrassment, he started to cry. ¡°I came here by accident. Please. I just want to go home, without fighting a bunch of monsters.¡± ¡°Now you''re being ridiculous,¡± Boggan said with a sniff. ¡°You might as well wish black to be white, or to alter the laws of physics, so the ever-expanding dungeon universe ceases to exist.¡± ¡°I just want to go home,¡± Jeremy whined, tears rolling down his face. ¡°Well. Let''s get started. Since you are from a new world, I will explain everything. First, I''ll give you a character stat sheet. This is the dungeon''s way of summarizing who you are and shows us how far along you are in utilizing the alternate energy source, or magic, to accomplish your goals.¡± Boggan made a hand gesture and Jeremy felt something in the corner of his eye just outside his vision. He somehow flicked his eyes, and a screen appeared in front of him. The screen remained directly in front of him when he tried to look past it, moving with his head and eyes as he did so. Fortunately, the stat sheet was transparent enough to ensure nothing was sneaking up on him. Name: Jeremy Wilkins Race: Human Sex: Boy Age: 10 Character Class: Child Level: 0 Health: 7 Attributes: Strength: 5 Endurance: 5 Vitality: 6 Dexterity: 4 Agility: 5 Perception: 4 Intelligence: 6 Wisdom: 5 Will Power: 4 Charisma: 4 Mana: 0 Active Skills: None Passive Skills: None Spells: None. ¡°You have accessed your stat sheet,¡± Boggan said from behind him, making him jump. ¡°Very good. Your stat sheet is the dungeon''s way of interfacing with you to show you what your abilities are and how far you''ve progressed. This is a rough summary of your life up to this point. You have no levels, no magic, no skills of any kind, and your stats are not good.¡± Boggan shook his head. ¡°I have skills,¡± Jeremy said, defending himself. ¡°I can play hockey, sort of. I know math and I get decent grades in school.¡± ¡°Those skills don''t apply. By skills, I''m referring to magically augmented abilities that will keep you alive. But first, let''s start with the three basic character types.¡± Once again, Boggan created a holographic image, this time showing three characters, each about 6 inches tall. After some experimentation, Jeremy mentally flicked his stat screen back to the corner of his eye to get a better look at Boggan''s image. ¡°There are three basic character types,¡± Boggan began. ¡°The first is the spellcaster. They cast spells to bend their surrounding reality.¡± The figure on the left came alive. Wearing robes and holding a staff, it cast tiny fireballs at the dog-like monsters surrounding it, killing a few of the monsters, but was quickly taken down by the rest, torn apart, and eaten. ¡°The second type is a fighter. They wear protective armor and use powerful weapons and fighting skills to attack and kill their enemies.¡± The figure in the middle, a knight armed with a large sword, came alive and used its sword to fight off the same dog monsters, lasting a little longer, but like the first, it was pulled down, torn apart, and eaten. ¡°The third type is a rogue. They depend on stealth and guile to defeat their enemies, by stabbing them in the back, or attacking them from concealment in unexpected ways.¡± The third figure ran for its life, trying to escape the dog-like monsters, only to be pulled down like the other two, torn apart and eaten. ¡°Now there are thousands of variations of spell-caster, fighter, and rogue, but they all start with these three basic character types.¡± ¡°I want the fourth type that doesn''t get torn apart and eaten by monsters,¡± Jeremy said, not impressed by what Boggan had shown him. ¡°You are being ridiculous, again,¡± Boggan said with an indignant sniff. ¡°Now, think carefully. Which of these character types best suits your physical and mental needs and proclivities?¡± Jeremy thought about it. Magic would be nice, but from what he knew from games, spellcasters started weak, and he was alone. A fighter would be better, but Jeremy wasn''t that tough. Most of his fighting experience involved hiding from his older brother. ¡°Rogue,¡± he finally said. ¡°I will go with a rogue class.¡± Chapter 3 - The Adventure Begins ¡°Very well, Jeremy, rogue it is,¡± Boggan said. Jeremy felt something flash in the corner of his eye. For a time he couldn''t move, feeling something shift inside him. His stat sheet changed. Name: Jeremy Wilkins Race: Human Sex: Boy Age: 10 Character Class: Child-Rogue Level: 0 Health: 7 Attributes: Strength: 5 Endurance: 5 Vitality: 6 Dexterity: 4 Agility: 5 Perception: 4 Intelligence: 6 Wisdom: 5 Will Power: 4 Charisma: 4 Mana: 1 Active Skills: Identify: 0 Sneak: 0 Detect Traps: 0 Passive Skills: None Spells: None Jeremy studied his stat sheet. ¡°I get three active skills?¡± ¡°Most dungeons do not give adventurers three active skills starting out. They force adventurers to earn these skills through quests or slaying monsters. You should be grateful. If you gain sufficient proficiency with these skills, you can evolve them. Detect Traps into Detect Danger, for example, but that''s in the distant future.¡± ¡°What about passive skills? And how do my attributes interact with each other, and what about the rest of my stat sheet?¡± ¡°But enough boring lessons,¡± Boggan continued, not answering Jeremy''s questions. ¡°As you are now a Child-Rogue, your life of adventure begins! Now, I know you are eager to start killing monsters and leveling up, but first, there is the matter of your equipment.¡± ¡°Equipment?¡± ¡°Exactly. Fortunately for you, Jeremy, you get 100 dungeon coin for being from a new world with no dungeon experience, a second 100 dungeon coin for having no equipment or character class, and a third 100 dungeon coin for being brave enough--or something--to enter this dungeon by yourself.¡± ¡°Dungeon coin?¡± Jeremy asked. Boggan stroked his beard. ¡°In ancient times, all dungeons had platinum, gold, silver, and copper coins. But these coins came in different sizes, quality and values from dungeon to dungeon, creating a confusing and complex mess of a dungeon monetary system. Also, adventurers had such a hard time carrying all these coins around that it distracted them from killing monsters. So dungeons got together and created a universal, more portable, dungeon currency called dungeon coin.¡± ¡°I guess that makes sense?¡± Jeremy said, not understanding. ¡°Exactly. Our dungeon coin-based currency is equivalent to a standard gold coin. You have 300 dungeon coin or the equivalent of 300 standard gold coins.¡± ¡°So I have 300 gold coins?¡± Jeremy asked. ¡°Not exactly.¡± Boggan produced a large gold coin from nowhere and tossed it to Jeremy. Jeremy caught the coin. It felt like gold, heavy for its size. One side had the image of two garden gnomes with the number 300 superimposed on them, and on the other, an image of children playing identical to that on the archway. ¡°You are holding 300 dungeon coin or the equivalent value of 300 standard gold coins,¡± Boggan said. Jeremy studied the coin. ¡°What if I wanted to buy something worth 1 dungeon coin, or how about the equivalent of a copper coin?¡± ¡°Easy,¡± Boggan said. ¡°Just concentrate on your dungeon coin and pull off the amount you want. For example, the equivalent to a standard copper coin is 0.01 dungeon coin, a silver coin 0.1 dungeon coin, and a platinum piece is 10 dungeon coin. Jeremy concentrated on his 300 dungeon coin. After several minutes of trying, he pulled off a second gold coin that looked exactly like the first but with a 1 on it. His original coin had changed from 300 to 299. Then he pulled 0.01 dungeon coin from the second coin. The 0.01 coin was identical to the other two, only copper colored. The second coin, now 0.99, had become silver. ¡°There are also dungeon stars. These are a special currency and cannot be bought with any amount of dungeon coin. However, they can be used to buy items from the dungeon that are not available otherwise.¡± ¡°How would I get one?¡± ¡°By being a strong adventurer, or a fortunate one. But enough talk of money.¡± Boggan pulled up another holographic image, this time of tiny weapons and assorted gear. ¡°I strongly advise equipping yourself properly before you continue.¡± This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there. ¡°This is off subject, but I have a question,¡± Jeremy said, studying the tiny images. ¡°Where in a dungeon do you go to the bathroom?¡± Something Jeremy had always wondered about, in the games he''d played was where adventurers were supposed to relieve themselves in the dungeon. ¡°An excellent question,¡± Boggan said. ¡°The answer is wherever you want. The dungeon absorbs any refuse and bodily waste you might excrete. Go ahead and go. See what happens.¡± Jeremy needed to go. Being trapped in a strange and dangerous place filled with monsters was bad enough without needing to pee. He nervously went to the cavern''s edge, opposite the archway and teddy bears, unzipped his pants, and let ''er rip. Urine trickled down the cavern wall, pooling on the floor. ¡°And notice,¡± Boggan said from behind him. ¡°It''s gone. Not even a smell.¡± Jeremy started to object, but then he looked again. Boggan was right. The floor was dry as before. His pee had vanished. ¡°Now, to get you outfitted.¡± Boggan pulled up the holographic image of hundreds of tiny weapons hanging in the air in front of him. ¡°First, you need a weapon. An adventurer isn''t much good without a weapon. Have a look.¡± Jeremy touched an image of a sword. The image expanded to full size with the words ¡°CHILD''S CHEAP SHORT SWORD. Rusty. Poor quality. 10dc.¡± Another one, a large, attractive black knife, said, ¡°CHILD''S KNIFE. THE RAVEN''S CLAW. High Quality, Charmed for durability, edge, and accuracy. 10,000dc.¡± This reminded him of shopping online. Like online stores, he couldn''t afford most of the items there either. ¡°I assume dc means dungeon coin. Remove everything over 300dc,¡± he said. Most of the weapons vanished. Something else occurred to him. ¡°I killed a teddy bear before I was pushed into the dungeon. Do I get anything for that?¡± ¡°For killing a weak monster outside the dungeon?¡± Boggan sniffed. ¡°I think not. To get money from the dungeon, you have to kill monsters inside the dungeon. You did get a small amount of experience, though.¡± Jeremy shrugged. It had been worth a try. ¡°How much experience?¡± ¡°Check for yourself,¡± Boggan said. ¡°Focus on that part of the stat sheet.¡± Jeremy focused on his stat sheet where it said Level: 0. Level: 0 (17/100) exp. Then he focused on exp. Experience represents the life force absorbed from slaying monsters and will allow you to advance to higher levels. Each level gained will make you a stronger more capable adventurer. ¡°Seventeen points? That''s it? That monster almost killed me.¡± ¡°That is a surprisingly large amount of experience, considering how weak the monster was,¡± Boggan responded. Jeremy sniffed and went back to studying the dungeon store inventory. ¡°If a dungeon coin is like a gold piece, your prices are completely unreasonable.¡± ¡°Our prices are highly competitive, Jeremy,¡± Boggan said. ¡°You will not find a better deal in any other dungeon.¡± ¡°In my world, I could buy hundreds of weapons for what you''re charging for that rusty short sword,¡± Jeremy responded. ¡°You might be surprised. New worlds seldom have weapons of any quality.¡± Jeremy sighed and turned back to the weapon selection. What did he want? Certainly nothing large and unwieldy like the broadsword for 200dc. He looked through the limited selection of knives until he found. ¡°CHILD''S HIGH QUALITY LONG KNIFE. Charmed edge, 268dc.¡± That looked the most promising. ¡°I''ll take that knife,¡± Jeremy said. ¡°Excellent, and you will want armor as well,¡± Boggan said. Images of armor replaced images of weapons. ¡°Under 32dc?¡± Jeremy asked. Three remained. ¡°CHILD''S POOR QUALITY LEATHER ARMOR. A little better than bare skin. 10dc.¡± It wasn''t much, but it looked better than the oversized shield made from an unknown creature''s skin for 30dc. ¡°That knife and that armor,¡± Jeremy said, pointing out the two items. ¡°Splendid,¡± Boggan said, and suddenly, Jeremy was wearing surprisingly heavy leather armor. The knife rested on his hip in a belt sheath where he could get at it quickly. Jeremy pulled out his knife and admired it. He promptly cut his finger, testing the edge. He had 22dc left. ¡°I might suggest you buy some new shoes,¡± Boggan said. That made sense. The toe part of his ruined shoe flopped around whenever he took a step. He bought some low-quality, soft leather boots for 10dc. ¡°And as a bonus, here is a basic dungeon survival kit.¡± Boggan tossed him a small leather pack. Jeremy pulled on its leather straps, opening it. He took out a small water bottle, some dungeon rations, a roll of soft paper, and what looked like a tightly rolled blanket. ¡°You will notice all of these items are endless and self-repairing,¡± Boggan said. ¡°In addition, your pack has twice the space inside as outside, so it will hold lots of stuff.¡± ¡°Wait,¡± Jeremy said. ¡°What else does your store offer that might keep me alive in your dungeon?¡± ¡°Well,¡± Boggan said, pulling up a bunch of items on the hologram. He poked something that looked like a Stay-Puff marshmallow man. ¡°We have this golem companion.¡± ¡°Something that''s 12 dungeon coin or less?¡± ¡°Then no, we do not.¡± Boggan made the hologram vanish and reached up with his tiny hand and patted Jeremy on the back. ¡°Your life of adventure begins! Remember what I told you: follow the red path, don''t get eaten by monsters, and you''ll be home in no time!¡± With that, Boggan vanished. The six teddy bears instantly came to life and charged Jeremy from across the large cavern. Chapter 4 - Then There Were None one of those things without getting his foot bitten off. How was he supposed to kill six? Going through the exit wasn''t an option because they might follow him, and who knew what else might be waiting for him there? This must be how the Rogue that Boggan had shown him earlier felt running for its life. He looked around desperately for anything he could use to help himself. You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story. YOU HAVE LEVELED UP! You have gained 0.35 dungeon coin!. Yay! Your first monster loot! One day in the distant future, you''ll look back on this moment with pride, assuming you live long enough. Name: Jeremy Wilkins Race: Human Sex: Boy Age: 10 Character Class: Child-Rogue Level: 1 (3/150) Health: 5 Attributes: Strength: 5 Endurance: 5 Vitality: 6 Dexterity: 5 Agility: 6 Perception: 5 Intelligence: 6 Wisdom: 5 Will Power: 4 Charisma: 4 Extra point: 1 - Add to the Attribute of your choice. Mana: 1 Active Skills: Identify: 0 Sneak: 0 Detect Traps: 0 Passive Skills: None Spells: None Dungeon Account: 12.35dc ¡°Dungeon Ration. Low quality with strength bonuses. Eat it. It''s good for you.¡± ¡°Roll of Soft Paper. Multiple uses, including you-know-what.¡± An hour later, he''d identified everything he had. His non-working watch was ¡°New World Timepiece. Nonfunctional.¡± ¡°Dungeon Backpack. Damaged. Low quality,¡± and what he''d thought was a blanket turned out to be a Cloak. Low quality. He put the cloak on. It looked nice but was too hot to wear. In the end, Jeremy''s legs and feet moved of their own accord, one step after another, taking him under the archway, and into the first floor of the dungeon. Chapter 5 - First Floor of the Dungeon Every dungeon is a thinking entity with its own temperament and personality. Despite their tendency to take lives, dungeons are considered a force for good in the universe, as they provide intelligent beings with the tools and means to defend themselves from interdimensional rifts and the resulting monsters. There are exceptions, however; dungeons so insane and dangerous they''re shunned by all who know of them. The most notable of these exceptions is The Children''s Dungeon. Excerpt from scholar Ze Cante''s treatise on the dungeon universe. A Low-Level Trap. If you fall for this trap, you are an idiot. He obviously had no intention of reaching for the candy. The jaws would close on him, and he''d lose an arm. But he was already sick of dungeon rations, and he''d just arrived. Grabbing a dungeon ration from his pack, he threw it at the piece of candy. He wasn''t the best thrower, but he wasn''t terrible either. The dungeon ration bar hit the candy, knocking it off the stand and sending it rolling down the passageway. The metal jaws slammed shut. A minute later, the jaws opened again, dropping the dungeon ration onto the floor beneath. YOU HAVE BEEN POISONED!-- rested above his name in big letters. Jeremy groaned again. He was an idiot. Good thing he''d just licked the thing and hadn''t put it in his mouth. He''d heard inducing vomiting helped with poison sometimes, but he''d already vomited everything, so there was no point in that. For what felt like an eternity, all he could do was stare at his stat sheet and watch his Health stat drop. 4-3-2. As it went down, the number turned from yellow to red. If it went down to 0, was he dead? Interesting, he thought. Boom! An enormous six-foot-high stone block crashed down on the tiles, blocking off the passageway, crushing his shoe and anything else it might have landed on. The side of the block smiled at him, a smiley face next to a bright, shining sun and rainbows. If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. Boom! The block came down in front of him. Green blood squirted out from under the stone, covering his feet and pants, like stepping on a green slime-filled water balloon. A stubby tentacle poked out from under the stone block from where the lead monster had almost made it across. Apelike was the wrong term to describe this humanoid. Maybe a bigfoot or yeti? Obviously intelligent. The long brown hair on its head was braided with strings of small orange beads, and it wore armor made from the skin of an unknown animal that looked like a thicker, heavier version of Jeremy''s leather armor. You have been invited to form an adventurer party with UrgMiZinNeh. Do you accept? Yes/No Jeremy immediately picked Yes. Chapter 6 - Safe Room UrgMiZinNeh. Race: Beastkin Sex: Girl Child-Fighter: Level 3 If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement. A flask of healing potion. He picked it up and handed it to Urg. It was the least he could do. ¡°I drank yours yesterday,¡± he said. ?? A club carved from the heart of a guardian dragonwood tree. Charmed for durability and accuracy. You have been invited to join the Mezirma/Boxtar/Toris/Srini adventure party. Do you accept? Yes/No Jeremy immediately selected Yes. Chapter 7 - Among Friends? In the dungeons, beings of every imaginable race and origin meet and interact with one another. Some of the strongest friendships and alliances in the universe have been forged in the dungeons, as well as the most bitter, hate filled rivalries. Your request to join the Mezirma/Boxtar/Toris/Srini adventure party has been denied and your invitation rescinded. Better luck next time. I''m sorry, Urg, he thought. I failed you. you? I''d let you join us, really, but you''re not a good candidate.¡± Urg, I''m sorry! The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. Boom! The stone block crashed to the floor in front of him. He ran to the end of his cloak, careful his feet didn''t touch the floor, threw down his pack, stepped on it, picked up his cloak, and threw it down in front of him again. By repeating this process, he was able to reach a darkened passageway nearby without his feet touching the floor. The healing potion was still active, so the wound in his hand closed, but he could still feel blood on his skin¡ªhis, Urg''s, and the dungeon monster''s. He huddled deep in the shadows, hardly daring to breathe. I have to check?¡± I''m sorry Urg. I should have kept my distance and watched them for a while before approaching. My stupidity got you killed. The beast-kin children informed the adults that the dungeon portal nestled between the giant forest trees had vanished. This could only mean the young female adventurer, was dead. Two of the forest people, her parents, collapsed, huddling together, weeping at the death of their only child. Their grief flowed outward, covering the entire tribe with sadness. The tribal chief stood nearby, also saddened by what had happened but unable to do or say anything to make it better. ¡°We could have sent ten of our strongest, most capable child warriors,¡± he said to the small, shaky, fragile-looking shaman standing next to him. ¡°They would not have survived this dungeon. The gods demanded a sacrifice." The shaman''s quavery voice was hoarse from inhaling large amounts of smoke from burning medicinal plants. "And the young girl was the most suitable candidate. We all must make sacrifices if our tribe is to survive." ¡°Is what you foresee that bad?¡± the chief asked. ¡°Yes.¡± Chapter 8 - The Fun House In ancient times, dungeon portals would remain stationary, but far too often, adventurers would take over the portals and decide who could enter the dungeon. Dungeons disliked this for multiple reasons. Consequently, dungeon portals now jump to random locations. If nobody enters at the new location, the dungeon jumps again after spitting monsters into that world. If an adventurer party enters, the portal remains until the party exits or dies. Excerpt from scholar Ze Cante''s treatise on the dungeon universe. In front of Jeremy stood the biggest clown he''d ever seen. Above the clown was a brightly lit red sign in another language he could somehow read. WELCOME TO THE FUN HOUSE The huge room was filled with carnival paraphernalia, some recognizable, some completely alien. A spinning target board with throwing knives poking out of it sat off to one side, a guillotine leaned against an empty wire cage with a skeleton of an unknown being inside. Carnival mirrors decorated the walls, and a large cannon pointed at him from beside the giant clown''s throne. In the mirrors, his distorted forms looked as terrified as he felt. The giant clown smiled, baring every one of its long, sharp, jagged teeth, and spoke in a powerful voice that carried to every corner of the large room. ¡°Little adventurer. Welcome.¡± The smaller clowns, some fat, some skin and bones, some smiling, some snarling, some giggling, but all equally terrifying, piled into the room behind him. There were at least a hundred. No doubt about it. He was trapped. ¡°Wait! Wait!¡± Jeremy shouted, trying to catch his breath. ¡°Time out!¡± He had to say something. ¡°Little adventurer. What is time out?¡± the giant clown asked. ¡°Time out is when we discuss things like civilized beings for a short time and don''t try to kill or eat each other.¡± ¡°I see. Very well, little adventurer. I will honor this time out.¡± The other clowns grew louder, crowding closer to Jeremy. The giant clown snarled in their direction, and they backed off. ¡°Come this way.¡± The giant clown led him up a creaky flight of stairs to a loft that looked over the room. In addition to being huge, the giant clown had an equally large double-edged battle axe strapped to its back. Jeremy followed the clown into a surprisingly cozy loft (cozy for a seven-foot-tall monster) with a large table and an equally large chair made from bones. The giant clown opened a cupboard and removed two large clay mugs and a pitcher filled with green fluid that looked suspiciously like monster blood. The giant clown poured green fluid into both mugs and then sat on the large chair. Drinking from one of the mugs, the giant clown seemed to relax. ¡°I am The Lord of the Clowns, but you may call me Clown Lord, little adventurer. Speak.¡± The table came up to Jeremy''s neck, and there was no chair to sit on, so he stood at the table, opposite Clown Lord, keeping as much distance between the two of them as he could. ¡°I came to this dungeon by accident. I don''t want to be an adventurer. I don''t want to fight or kill monsters. Please. I just want to go home.¡± Clown Lord licked his bloodstained teeth with a long, agile tongue and smiled. ¡°That is unfortunate for you. The trapped fly pleads with the hungry spider, but it never affects the outcome. And, little adventurer, I''m hungry.¡± Clown Lord''s three red eyes were lower on its forehead than they should be, forming a triangle around its nose. Each eye seemed able to move independently of the other two. The top eye looked around while the bottom two focused on Jeremy. Jeremy looked away, feeling sick, then forced himself to look back. ¡°Wait. You seem like an intelligent being, Clown Lord. Why do monsters and adventurers fight? Why do these dungeons exist? What''s the point?¡± ¡°Ah, you wish to philosophize,¡± he said, studying Jeremy, red eyes seeming to burn into his soul. ¡°I have died many times. The dungeon always brings me back, stronger than before. The same cannot be said for adventurers. The dungeon absorbs their essence and their deaths are permanent.¡± He took another drink from its mug. ¡°Why do dungeons exist? Are all dungeons the same or different? Why do adventurers enter dungeons in pursuit of wealth and power, knowing most of them will die? I don''t know. All I know is my dungeon believes creating monsters like myself to eat young adventurers like you is making the universe a better, safer place.¡± ¡°That makes no sense!¡± Jeremy shouted. He was tired, his whole body was shaking. He''d had a very long day in which he''d seen his friend murdered, and he was starting to lose it. ¡°It makes sense to my dungeon, and that''s what matters.¡± Clown Lord sat back, having finished the first mug of blood, and offered the other mug to Jeremy. ¡°Fresh monster blood?¡± Jeremy shook his head. Clown Lord shrugged and picked up the second mug. ¡°Now eating you is the reason for my existence, little adventurer,¡± he sighed. ¡°But. After I eat you, I will be bored. I get so few adventurers. ''All the good monsters are on the upper floors of the dungeon,'' adventurers say.¡± Clown Lord stood up to his full seven feet, muscles rippling under his red-and-white polka-dot clown suit. ¡°Look at me. I ooze experience, I drop plenty of monster loot. Adventurers should be lining up to fight me! But no. They go to the upper floors. As a result, I''m stuck for long periods with my subjects who, though devoted, lack my intellectual proclivities.¡± ¡°I had no idea being a monster was that complicated,¡± Jeremy said. ¡°Indeed. Though I want to eat you, I have always wanted to assign quests. If you are willing to accept my quest, I will forgo eating you for the time being.¡± This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings. ¡°Okay. I accept,¡± Jeremy said. ¡°No, no. That''s not how it works.¡± Clown Lord paused for dramatic effect and took a deep breath. ¡°Like myself, the Chrysoti spiders live on the first floor of the dungeon. Their fangs hold the dungeon''s deadliest poison, and they spin the strongest, most beautiful silk. Your quest is to sneak into the spider queen''s chamber and steal her silk for me. If you succeed, your reward will be-¡± he pulled out a pair of worn soft leather boots. ¡°Charmed child boots. Charmed for stealth and durability. An item you could desperately use.¡± The Clown Lord grinned in a way that made Jeremy back away. ¡°Their former owner no longer needs them.¡± ¡°Is there another way out of the dungeon?¡± Jeremy asked. ¡°Ahhh. You bargain, clever human. You wish for answers. Very well. In addition to the charmed boots, I will answer one question, honestly, and to the best of my ability.¡± On top of his stat sheet, words appeared. YOU HAVE BEEN ASSIGNED YOUR FIRST QUEST! Steal the spider queen''s silk. If successful, your reward will be one pair of charmed boots and the answer to one question. Failure of this quest will mean death. Refusal of this quest will mean death. Accept? Yes/No He chose Yes. ¡°Excellent,¡± Clown Lord said when Jeremy accepted his quest. ¡°There is a secret passageway into the Queen''s chamber. My subjects will take you to the entrance. After that, you''re on your own. Try not to let her kill and eat you. That''s my job.¡± ¡°I am exhausted,¡± Jeremy said. ¡°Before I go on this quest, can I rest first?¡± ¡°Certainly. Avoid my subjects. They''re not as well-behaved when I''m absent. Oh. I trust your Sneak is up to 6, and if you have any extra adventurer points, put them into Perception. That will give you the best chance of survival.¡± Clown Lord walked away. Sneak of 6? How was he supposed to do that? He''d just gotten it to 3. Jeremy put his two points into Perception, hoping Clown Lord wasn''t trying to trick him. He activated Sneak, watching his mana drop, feeling weakness pass through him as it dropped to zero. He waited to recover (about five minutes) and tried to activate it again. Nothing happened. The long, hard day and continual use of his meager mana points had become too much for him. I''m weak. Pathetic. No wonder the other adventurers tried to kill me, he thought. I need to get stronger or die. But first. Rest. He grabbed his cloak, curled up in a corner of the loft, and was out. Jeremy woke up far too soon, forcing himself to his feet with a quiet groan. He''d had a nightmare where he was being eaten alive by clown monsters, while standing in front of his class in his underwear, reporting on a book he hadn''t read while Mezirma and his party sat in the back of his class, laughing at him. Looking around, his fragile hope that he might wake up at home was dashed. Mom must be flipping out right now. Nothing I can do about it, or much of anything else. Time to train. Clown Lord was nowhere to be seen. Just as well. Jeremy wasn''t ready for the quest. He tried to open Clown Lord''s cabinet. He wouldn''t take anything, but he was curious. It was locked. That or something else prevented him from opening it. He activated Sneak, then pulled out the piece of candy he''d stolen from the first trap, and carefully licked it again. He got sick, dry heaving onto the floor, but not as bad as the last time, and he only dropped two health points before the You Have Been Poisoned effect vanished from his stat sheet. He''d been unable to hold Sneak while being poisoned. This was a problem, since that was exactly the kind of situation where he''d need that skill. He reactivated Sneak and licked the candy again, longer this time. He dropped four health points before the effect vanished. His poison resistance went up to 1. While munching on a dungeon ration, he activated Sneak until his mana ran out. A short time later, Sneak went up to 4. Mana went up to 5. That was something, at least. Did Sneak skill level up as quickly if he wasn''t actively sneaking or hiding from someone? Did Detect Traps level up as quickly when there were no traps to detect? Questions he wished he could ask Boggan. He activated Sneak and walked as quietly as he could toward the loft doorway. He froze when his mana ran out, waited to recover, activated Sneak again, and peeked out the doorway. The Fun House was covered with sleeping clowns. The floor, carnival equipment, and cannon all had clowns sleeping on, next to, or beside them. A clown opened its eyes, saw Jeremy, and then opened its mouth in a half smile, half snarl. Jeremy backed into the loft and tried again, sneaking up to the other side of the doorway. Again, when he looked, the same clown stared back at him. He backed away again, waited for his mana to recover, and tried again. This time when he peeked out the doorway, the clown was looking at him, only this time its face was inches from Jeremy''s. While Jeremy had been practicing Sneak, it had silently snuck up the stairs. Jeremy screamed and flung himself backward and underneath the large table while reaching for his knife. The clown leaped onto the table. A slight creaking noise was all that revealed the clown crossing to the other side. It bent over the edge of the table and looked down at him. Clown Lord was nowhere to be seen. Physically, Jeremy was no match for this creature, but he remembered what Clown Lord had said about their intelligence not being their strong suit. He flung himself away from the clown, careful to bang his head on the table and collapse on top of his knife, pretending he''d been knocked unconscious, or dead. Maybe if it thought he was dead, it would leave him alone? It leaped down next to him. He could feel its hot breath on his neck, sniffing him. This plan could go very badly. He forced himself to remain still as it moved down his back to his legs. It took a bite out of his right calf. Pain! Oh god! What was it with monsters and his right leg? Without thinking, he whipped his knife around, stabbing the clown''s neck. His knife glanced off the clown''s ruffled collar, doing little damage. The clown lashed out, trying to grab his knife hand. He pulled back, avoiding its grip, and stabbed its neck again; this time his knife sunk deep. With a half snarl, half scream, the clown picked up Jeremy and threw him across the room. Jeremy slammed into Clown Lord''s cabinets with a loud boom and fell to the floor, breath knocked out of him, unable to move. Hands grabbed him, pinning his arms to his sides, picking him up and slamming him into the cabinet and holding him there. The evil clown looked down at him, Jeremy''s knife protruding from the front of its neck. Jeremy pushed his head forward as far as he could, head-butting the handle of his knife, pushing his knife forward and deeper into the clown''s neck until green blood spurted out. Its response was to throw him again, making him bounce off the table and slam into the floor. He struggled to breathe, rolling over and slowly getting to his feet. The clown stood next to the cabinet, not moving. Then it slowly dropped to its knees and fell forward, its large red clown nose making a forlorn honk as its face hit the floor. Jeremy staggered forward, yanked the knife out of the clown''s neck, and stabbed it again and again until it stopped moving. Sometime later, the clown and the green blood pooling on the floor underneath it vanished. A blue flask appeared on the floor where the body had been. Something happened to his stat sheet, and he realized his right leg was wet with blood. His hands shook so badly that it took him several tries before he could uncap the flask and drink the healing potion. While his body healed, he took deep breath after deep breath. Slowly, he stopped shaking. He pulled up his stat sheet. Chapter 9 - First Quest FIRST QUEST ACCEPTED! Name: Jeremy Wilkins Race: Human Sex: Boy Age: 10 Character Class: Child-Rogue Level: 3 Health: 8 Attributes: Strength: 5 Endurance: 5 Vitality: 6 Dexterity: 7 Agility: 8 Perception: 9 Intelligence: 6 Wisdom: 5 Will Power: 4 Charisma: 4 Extra point: 1 Mana: 5 Active Skills: Identify: 1 Sneak: 4 Detect Traps: 2 Passive Skills: Poison Resistance: 1 Spells: None Dungeon Account: 28.01 dc UrgMiZinNeh-Deceased/Jeremy Wilkins adventurer party. I''m sorry, Urg. Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences. Yuck. He shuddered. Freedom. Chapter 10 - Second Quest Charmed boots. Charmed for Sneak and Durability. An item you can desperately use. What was it with the dungeon and deprecating comments? This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. Charmed Short-sword Named Arcellia''s ToothPick. Charmed for Durability, Ultra Sharp Edge, and Accuracy. Another item you could desperately use. ¡°What else?¡± he said, remembering his previous quest. High quality leather armor. Charmed for self repair. You should take this quest. YOU HAVE BEEN ASSIGNED YOUR SECOND QUEST! Steal the Big''s magic loom! If successful your reward will be one charmed short sword and one charmed suit of leather armor. Items no longer needed by their previous owners. Failure means death. Refusal of this quest means death. Accept? Yes/No Jeremy selected Yes. ¡°I need two days to recover from the injuries I gained on my first quest.¡± Clown Lord built this chair from the bones of monsters he killed in previous battles. He was able to identify Clown Lord''s large chair while using Sneak, but as before, two skills used up a lot of mana. This was a problem he''d have to work on. In the meantime, he''d gained two days of relative safety. Time to train. Chapter 11 - The Bigs Magic Loom When the clown entered the loft, Jeremy, crouching next to the entrance, lashed out like a snake, stabbing the clown in the neck faster than he would have believed possible. The clown didn''t seem to notice, slamming Jeremy''s chest, stunning him, grabbing him, and pinning him to the floor, green monster blood pouring out of its wound. It opened its mouth and tried to bite his face off. Jeremy screamed and twisted. The green monster blood made him slippery enough to slide out from under the clown and stab it again, and again. This time, when the clown vanished, a healing potion appeared on the floor, and he gained a level. About time. When he stopped shaking, he drank the healing potion. He leaned against the side of the loft. Whatever passed for morning in the dungeon had finally come, and the clowns, (minus the three he''d killed) were getting up. He pulled out his water bottle and took a drink. Killing monsters was hot sweaty work. He''d leveled up to 4. As a rogue, he automatically got a point in Agility, Dexterity, and Perception. This meant he had a total of 7 other stats that remained the same and a single point remaining. At this point, he needed more strength, and though his sawdust dungeon rations were supposed to give him strength and his stomach was about to burst with all the rations he''d been force-feeding himself, he had yet to see an increase. He put his remaining attribute point in Strength. He felt a little stronger. But that could have been his imagination. He wondered what level Mezirma and his three companions were. Level 30? higher? Back to work, he guessed. Clown Lord wandered into the loft, ¡°Ah, little adventurer, you look much better. You haven''t been killing my clowns in your spare time, have you?¡± Uh, oh. How much did Clown Lord know? Jeremy quickly shook his head. ¡°No.¡± ¡°Such a lazy adventurer.¡± Clown Lord made a theatrical sigh. ¡°But I have to work with what I have. You seem recovered and I want my magic loom.¡± ¡°Yes, Clown Lord.¡± Jeremy stood up. It looked like he wasn''t getting his days off after all. Clown Lord and five of his clown subjects led Jeremy through a series of passages, traveling for hours with no rest. They led him to an entrance he''d never have found on his own. Clown Lord did something to the wall, and a doorway appeared, much larger than the doorways he''d encountered previously. The 7-ft-tall Clown Lord could have entered this doorway with three feet to spare on top and sides. The stone door opened with a loud nails-on-chalkboard screech. Clown Lord waved him through with a big smile. ¡°The Big likes eating adventurers even more than I do. Try not to get caught.¡± When Jeremy''s Detect Traps found nothing, he activated Sneak and stepped through the entrance. The hallway was as wide as his front yard and maybe 20 feet high. The hallway soon split into two separate paths. He wasn''t sure which way to go. Unlike the dungeon''s red path, no arrows showed him the way. He chose the right path, alternating Detect Traps with Sneak. There was another two-way split in the passageway. He took the right passage again, then there was a three-way. When he encountered dead ends, he backtracked and tried another passageway. What he needed was a map or some way to make one. All he could do was try to memorize the different passages. When he ran out of mana he rested in the shadows until he recovered, eating a dungeon ration and drinking some water. He didn''t want to risk getting dehydrated like the day before. He felt a thudding from the distance, like a heartbeat, or maybe the steps of a giant. The thudding grew louder. As he got deeper into the maze, he began to encounter traps. Simple traps first: Candy traps, tiled floors, and some kind of trap involving invisible string crossing the hallway. He wondered what the latter traps would do if he set them off, but felt it best not to find out. He found a fourth kind of trap. Twenty feet of the dungeon floor glowed red. He turned back to try another passageway. ¡°I smell adventurer!¡± The Big was walking down a nearby passage, every step a loud thud. Uh oh. Jeremy turned back to the trap. Could he jump it? Before he''d leveled up in the dungeon, he''d have said absolutely not. But between his heightened Strength and Agility, he might have a chance. He stepped back far enough to get a good running start. Thump, Thump, Thump. The Big''s steps grew louder¡ªhe was getting close. Jeremy ran as fast as he could toward the trap. When he reached the edge, he jumped, pushing off into the air as hard as he could. It was a very impressive jump, and he almost made it. He landed inches short of the other side, and the floor dissolved beneath him. He grabbed the edge of the floor in front of him and pulled himself up. Looking behind him, he could see sharpened metal stakes coming within inches of his feet. He pulled himself over the edge and ran. One bend and a side passage later, he entered a huge room. At the center of the room was a giant-sized circular stone house with a giant-sized front door made from large bones. He wasn''t sure he could open the door even if the Big wasn''t nearby. He ran around the house, looking for windows or some other entrance. The windows closest to the ground glowed red as traps; a window in the back of the house near the roof didn''t. He threw himself on the stone wall of the Big''s house and climbed. There was no way he could have climbed this before he''d become an adventurer. With his new Agility and Dexterity, he was able to use handholds that wouldn''t have existed for him before. Thud! Thud! ¡°I smell adventurer!¡± the Big stomped into the cavern. Jeremy focused on climbing faster. He had 10 feet to go. Fortunately, he was out of the Big''s line of sight. The Big looked around, occasionally making loud sniffing noises. Jeremy made it to the window. It wasn''t a window¡ªmore of a hole in the stone wall of the large house, barely large enough for him to squeeze through. So he did. Sitting on the narrow stone window ledge, his eyes got used to the dim light, he reactivated Sneak. Below him was a hot, smoky stove holding a large bubbling pot of something that made Jeremy gag. In addition to the smell, the heat coming off the pot was making him sweat, and the smoke caused his eyes to water. A stone table next to the stove held a manhole-cover-sized plate and bucket-sized mug. On the opposite side of the house, there was a large stone slab. A bed? Next to the bed, maybe fifteen feet away from his perch, a twenty-foot-tall box covered with the hide of some large, unknown creature. Some kind of cupboard or cabinet? Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon. If I were a magic loom owned by a Giant/Big/Whatever it is, where would I be? he thought. Nowhere close to the ground, that would be hard for a large monster to get to. And not near the stove because the heat might ruin it. So he guessed the cupboard. It was fifteen feet away, but much lower than he was. He could probably jump there from here, but the landing might be a problem, and judging from the agitated walking and shouting from the Big outside, whatever he did, it''d better be quick. ¡°I smell adventurer!¡± the Big shouted and pushed open the door. Just as quickly, Jeremy ducked back out the window, pulled one of the low-quality leather boots he''d been wearing before he''d received his new ones from his pack, and threw it as hard as he could over the roof of the house. The Big must have heard something because he turned around and stomped back outside again, slamming the door behind him. Jeremy shot through the window back inside. He''d have to chance it. Using the window as a perch, he flung himself at the cupboard. I hope the cabinet is soft, he thought. It wasn''t. He slammed into the top of the cupboard with a thud that could have woken the dead. There was just enough give in the top shelf to prevent him from breaking his legs. But it hurt. Before the Big could come back, Jeremy pulled the hide to the side of the cupboard and ducked inside. And he''d thought it smelled bad outside the cupboard. Crouched on the top shelf, he touched some kind of stinky meat. Too dark to see, he felt around for anything that might be a magic loom. Meat. Yuck. More meat. A pot of something that felt disgusting and smelled worse. Not this shelf. He quickly dropped down to the next shelf. The door opened again, and the Big stormed back inside. ¡°Smell adventurer. Rarrr!¡± The Big was becoming agitated. There was a loud banging sound and stone moving against stone. At least Jeremy wouldn''t have to worry about making noise. Sneak hadn''t fully recovered from last time, but Jeremy reactivated it and stopped breathing. With an insane amount of care, he felt around. This shelf seemed more promising. He found two metal block-like shapes next to each other, but nothing that felt like strings. He continued feeling around. Strings! He groaned. It was too long and narrow, some kind of instrument, a violin or banjo, maybe. Jeremy ignored the Big tearing his house apart, and continued searching. Success! A square-shaped object about six inches across, with strings running across it. Yes! He stuffed it into his pack. How was he going to get out of here? The door was still open. All he had to do was live long enough to get through it. Sneak was almost out of power and it was just a matter of time before the Big found him. He grabbed his second leather shoe from his pack and carefully crawled to the side of the cupboard. Looking through the narrow gap between the monster skin and cupboard, the Big was huge, at least 10 feet tall and twice as wide as Clown Lord. At the moment, the Big was crouched down checking underneath his bed. Jeremy tossed his second boot at the stove. There was a splash as he somehow got it into the monster''s rank stew. the Big rushed over to the stew, pulling out the leather boot and stuffing it into his mouth, then poked at the pot of stew with his finger, looking hopeful. Jeremy jumped down from the cupboard and ran away as if some really large man-eating monster was chasing him. ¡°Rarrrr!¡± BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM. The Big was after him. Uh, oh. Jeremy had hoped he''d get a little more of a head start. He ran down the same passageway he''d arrived. Any other exit would have unknown traps and dead ends, making it suicide. He jumped over the trap with the spikes, once again barely making it. Jeremy hoped the Big, with all his bulk, wouldn''t be able to make the jump. Instead, the Big entered the passageway and, seeing Jeremy, charged, stepping into the pit and not even noticing the metal spikes that he crushed beneath his bare feet. You''ve got to be kidding! Jeremy thought as he ran. He remembered, kind of, the passageways he''d taken. A couple of times, he came close to running into a dead end, which would have killed him, but he somehow avoided this. The invisible thread trap across a passageway turned out to be darts flying from the walls. He learned this because the Big just walked through this section of the maze without even noticing. When the Big came to a tile trap, the stone block falling on top of him shattered, gravel flying everywhere. For a second, the Big looked bewildered, as if wondering what had happened. Jeremy wasted no time in running away. Jeremy pounded on the door he''d come in through. ¡°Let me out!¡± he shouted between breaths over the thunderous footsteps of the Big close behind. ¡°Did you get it?¡± Clown Lord asked. ¡°Yes!¡± The door flew open. Jeremy was dragged out, and the huge door was slammed shut in the Big''s face. BOOM! The Big slammed into the door hard enough to cause dust to come down from the ceiling and make the whole dungeon shake. ¡°MY ADVENTURER!¡± ¡°Give me,¡± Clown Lord snarled at Jeremy. Jeremy quickly reached into his pack, praying he''d grabbed the right item from the dark shelf, and pulled it out. It was a square about six inches across with string going up and down it. He could tell he''d guessed right from the look on Clown Lord''s face. The monster clown positively glowed with happiness, cradling the magic loom like a mother might her newborn child. BOOM! The Big slammed into the door again. ¡°MY ADVENTURER!¡± he shouted again. ¡°Nobody likes a sore loser!¡± Clown Lord shouted back. ¡°It''s not my fault you''re dumber than a box of rocks!¡± ¡°RARRR!¡± BOOM! The Big was not taking it well. ¡°Are you sure he can''t get out?¡± Jeremy asked, hands on his knees, breathing hard. ¡°Of course. He''s at the edge of his territory. Same reason I couldn''t enter the maze and steal the magic loom for myself,¡± Clown Lord smirked. ¡°You will be wanting your reward. Come.¡± ¡°Will there be a third quest?¡± Jeremy gasped out, following the clowns. Thinking that if there wasn''t, he might want to run away. ¡°Your third quest will require preparation,¡± Clown Lord said with an evil grin. ¡°Don''t worry, you''ll find the third quest worthy of your time and abilities.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± Jeremy said, so tired he could barely put one foot in front of the other. By the time they''d returned to The Fun House, it had turned into whatever passed for night in the dungeon. The only difference between dungeon night and day, as far as Jeremy could see, was the torches grew dimmer at night. Clown Lord gave Jeremy the sword and the armor. The new armor felt lighter and more comfortable than his old, and the sword fit his hand like it was meant to be there and seemed to sing when he swung it around. ¡°Do you even know how to hold a sword?¡± Clown Lord asked, looking contemptuous. ¡°This is the first time I''ve held a sword. So, no, I don''t,¡± Jeremy said, feeling defensive. For the thousandth time, he knew nothing of adventuring and didn''t want to be here. ¡°As an adventurer, having a monster teach you how to use a sword should be the most humiliating moment of your life. I want you to take this shame to your grave.¡± Clown Lord went to him, and adjusted his fingers. ¡°This is how you hold a sword. This is how you swing it.¡± Clown Lord surprisingly gently guided him through basic swings and thrusts. ¡°Here is a basic drill for you to work on. Slash, slash, thrust, parry, thrust, slash. Oh, do you want to join us for dinner? Roast spider again. My second favorite meal.¡± ¡°No thanks, Clown Lord, I''m not hungry.¡± ¡°Very well.¡± After a short meal break, Jeremy practiced what he''d been shown, performing the drill again and again. It was amusing that Clown Lord thought having a monster teach swordplay, or anything else for that matter would be humiliating. His friend had been killed in front of him when he could do nothing but run away. That was humiliating. He could still see Urg''s shocked, disbelieving eyes as she choked on her own blood. He kept wondering, could he have done something? He didn''t see how. He''d barely gotten away with his life. He kept practicing, imagining it was Mezirma''s adventurer party he was cutting into. He practiced with the sword until he had the passive skill swordplay and he was too tired to continue. Then he worked on poison resistance, ate some more dungeon ration bars, and practiced Sneak until he couldn''t and that was it for the night. He woke up the next morning too sick to move. Chapter 12 - Mana Sickness Magic Item. ??? Magic Item Activation. Clown Lord''s subjects weren''t happy to see Jeremy walk past them, but with their boss standing there, they didn''t dare do anything. ¡°Well, Clown Lord, I''ve got some good news and some bad news.¡± Magic Item ??? ow! activate charmed items skill went up to 2, and his pendant gained a mana point, from 15 to 16. Crud. ¡°What good is Sneak skill? It never seems to work,¡± Jeremy complained. Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original. I''m willing to take that chance.¡± Chapter 13 - Training Enhanced Physical: 1 ¡°Clown Lord!¡± Jeremy told the monster about how Enhanced Physical: 1, had replaced most of his passive skills. If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. Your mind and body have learned to use the ambient mana continually, to make you, on average, half again faster and stronger than you were previously, toughening your skin and increasing your resistance to standard monster attacks. ¡°Physical Enhancement: 1 doesn''t seem to affect my Attributes,¡± Jeremy noticed. air over his arm, causing his arm to vanish. ¡°What you are not seeing is a cloak made from Chrysoti spider-silk.¡± Clown Lord placed the cloak on the table and stabbed it with a knife. The knife shattered. ¡°Feel it,¡± Clown Lord placed Jeremy''s hand on the cloak. It felt smooth and soft, without the slightest sign of damage. ¡°Besides making the wearer invisible, this cloak will also act as armor, protecting the wearer from sharp objects, though not blunt trauma. It''s charmed to fit any wearer perfectly.¡± YOU HAVE BEEN ASSIGNED YOUR THIRD QUEST! The Lord of the Clowns intends to kill you and eat you for breakfast. Your quest is to kill the Lord of the Clowns in single combat! If successful, your reward is one charmed cloak of invisibility, lots of experience, and monster loot, and not getting eaten for breakfast. Failure will mean death, and being eaten for breakfast. Refusal of this quest will mean death, and being eaten for breakfast. Accept? Yes/Yes - Trick question. You have no choice.