《Why me of all?》 Loss or lost The sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm golden glow over the streets of Ahmedabad. Kaushal navigated through the bustling city, the sound of honking horns and chattering crowds filling the air. He glanced at the time on his dashboard¡ª6:45 PM. Still plenty of light left, but he needed to get home before the night settled in. ¡°Just a few more minutes,¡± he murmured to himself, adjusting his grip on the steering wheel. The grey shirt he wore clung slightly from the heat, while the white pants felt cool against his skin. They¡¯d been a last-minute choice, but he felt they matched the urgency of the day. His phone buzzed, startling him. He fished it out of his pocket, heart racing as he saw his mother¡¯s name flash across the screen. ¡°Ma?¡± he answered, his voice steady despite the quickening beat of his heart. ¡°Kaushal, we¡¯ve just reached Ahmedabad station!¡± Reha¡¯s voice crackled through the speaker, a tinge of excitement lacing her words. ¡°The train¡¯s slightly delayed, though. I think it¡¯ll be another hour.¡± ¡°Another hour? Are you all okay?¡± Kaushal¡¯s brow furrowed, concern flooding his thoughts. ¡°Yes, yes! Just a little tired. Your father went to get tea from the stall. He says he needs a relaxation drink before the long ride to Haridwar,¡± she chuckled, the sound lifting some weight off his shoulders. ¡°Good. Just stay safe, alright? I¡¯ll keep my phone close.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry, beta. We¡¯ll be fine. Just keep driving carefully,¡± Reha replied. A sudden crash echoed through the phone, punctuating her words. Kaushal¡¯s heart dropped. ¡°Ma? What was that?¡± The tension in his voice was palpable. ¡°Nothing, nothing! Just a suitcase falling. I¡¯ll call you when we¡¯re on the train, okay? Love you!¡± If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. ¡°Love you too!¡± Kaushal said, but the call ended abruptly. He stared at the screen, the buzzing silence pressing down on him. His gut twisted as he rolled through a crowded street. The atmosphere had shifted. People were scattered, some screaming, others shouting in what sounded like panic. His eyes darted around, searching for the source of the commotion. Suddenly, a group of men charged toward the station, faces obscured by masks, eyes ablaze with fury. Kaushal¡¯s breath caught in his throat. ¡°No, no, no¡­¡± he whispered, gripping the steering wheel tighter. He parked hastily, heart pounding as he leapt out of the car. ¡°Hey! What¡¯s happening?¡± he shouted at a bystander, a young woman with wide, terrified eyes. ¡°They¡¯re attacking! They¡¯re burning the coaches!¡± she screamed, pointing towards the station. Kaushal¡¯s stomach twisted as he glanced at the station. Flames flickered in the distance, a cruel dance of orange and red against the darkening sky. ¡°No!¡± he yelled, sprinting towards the chaos. His phone buzzed again, but he ignored it, focusing instead on getting to his family. ¡°Ma! Baba!¡± he called out, his voice swallowed by the growing cacophony of panic. He rounded the corner, and the sight that met his eyes sent a shockwave through his veins.Two of the coaches were engulfed in flames, thick black smoke billowing into the air, choking the life out of the space around it. ¡°Get back!¡± a voice yelled, but Kaushal couldn¡¯t move. ¡°Ma!¡± he screamed again, desperation clawing at his throat. Frantic, he fumbled for his phone, dialing her number, his hands shaking. Ring. ¡°Come on, pick up!¡± Ring. Nothing but static. The flames roared, and he could hear the terrified screams of those trapped inside. ¡°Help!¡± a voice cried from within the coach. Kaushal¡¯s heart shattered. The world around him dissolved into a blur of fire and chaos. ¡°Someone, anyone, help!¡± ¡°Shut it down!¡± a man shouted, raising a bottle filled with what looked like gasoline. ¡°No!¡± Kaushal lunged forward, but the crowd surged, pushing him back, away from the inferno. ¡°Stay back!¡± someone barked, but Kaushal¡¯s mind was a tempest. His family was in there. ¡°Ma!¡± he bellowed, the sound raw and desperate. He pushed through the throng, adrenaline coursing through his veins as he fought against the tide of fear and anger. The flames crackled, spitting embers into the air, and the acrid smell of smoke clawed at his nostrils. ¡°Help me! They¡¯re in there!¡± he shouted, his voice breaking. ¡°Get to safety!¡± a woman cried, pulling at his arm. ¡°No! I can¡¯t leave them!¡± Then he saw them¡ªhis father¡¯s familiar frame, his mother¡¯s kind face, both caught in the chaos. ¡°Ma!¡± he shouted, eyes filled with tears and smoke blurring his vision. ¡°Kaushal!¡± Reha¡¯s voice rang through the chaos, filled with fear and despair. ¡°Hold on! I¡¯m coming!¡± He surged forward, his heart pounding like a drum against his ribcage. ¡°Get out! Get out!¡± he shouted, lunging towards the door. But the heat was unbearable. Flames licked at his skin, and the smoke wrapped around him, a suffocating embrace. ¡°Kaushal!¡± his mother¡¯s voice pierced through the chaos, but it was growing distant, fading. ¡°Ma!¡± He stumbled, the world spinning as he felt the heat scorch his back. The last thing he saw before darkness closed in was the flicker of flames, the dread in his mother¡¯s eyes, and the shadow of fury outside the coach. And then, silence. The chaos faded, leaving only the echo of despair, the burning weight of loss, and the haunting realization that he was too late as his eyes closed filled with despair. A hope maybe Kaushal blinked against the harsh white light of the hospital room, disoriented. The beeping of machines blended into the background, a mechanical heartbeat in the sterile environment. He pushed himself up, muscles protesting. The ceiling above him was a dull shade of beige, and he could feel the cold, clammy fabric of the hospital gown clinging to his skin. ¡°Get up slowly, please,¡± a voice said, soft yet firm. A nurse entered, her face framed by a crisp white cap. Her eyes, warm and gentle, flicked to the monitors beside him. ¡°You fainted. Your body needs rest.¡± ¡°Rest?¡± he croaked, his throat dry. He could feel the sweat beading on his forehead. ¡°What happened? Where are my parents?¡± The nurse¡¯s expression shifted, the warmth evaporating as quickly as it had come. ¡°Your parents¡­¡± she hesitated, her gaze dropping to the floor. ¡°They didn¡¯t survive the accident, Kaushal.¡± The words hit him like a punch to the gut. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the reality crashing over him. No. It couldn¡¯t be. ¡°Wait,¡± he gasped, desperation flooding his voice. ¡°You must be mistaken. They were fine. They were just at the station. I was on my way to them!¡± ¡°I¡¯m so sorry,¡± she said, her voice trembling slightly. ¡°There were multiple casualties. It was¡ª¡± ¡°Don¡¯t,¡± he interrupted, a note of panic clawing at his throat. ¡°Tell me about them! What happened? Are they¡­ Are they really gone?¡± The nurse stepped closer, her hands clasped in front of her. ¡°It was a violent attack. They tried to escape, but the flames¡ª¡± ¡°No!¡± Kaushal shouted, a guttural sound of anguish escaping his chest. The room felt as if it were closing in on him. He pushed the blankets aside, his heart racing. ¡°I need to see them! I need to¡ª¡± ¡°Kaushal, please, you need to calm down.¡± She reached out, her touch gentle but firm. ¡°You¡¯re not well. Your body is still recovering.¡± He pulled away from her, the weight of her words anchoring him to the mattress. His parents were gone. The realization spread like a cold shadow through his being. He shook his head, the dark thoughts spiraling. ¡°How could this happen? Just¡­ just a phone call, and now¡­¡± His voice cracked. ¡°I was supposed to be there. I was supposed to protect them.¡± ¡°Sometimes, things happen that are beyond our control,¡± the nurse said softly. ¡°No one was prepared for this. You did your best.¡± His best. The words echoed hollowly in his mind. He had failed them. ¡°What is there left for me?¡± he whispered, more to himself than to her. The weight of solitude settled over him, a heavy shroud that felt suffocating. She took a step back, giving him space. ¡°You¡¯re alive, Kaushal. You can still honor their memory. You can still¡ª¡± ¡°But I have no one now!¡± he shouted, the anger bubbling inside him, mixing with despair. ¡°I have no family left. No friends. No one!¡± The nurse¡¯s eyes softened, and he could see the glimmer of tears threatening to spill over. ¡°You still have the community. You have¡ª¡± ¡°Community?¡± he laughed bitterly, the sound harsh in the quiet room. ¡°What community? I don¡¯t even know who to turn to. Everyone I love is gone. It¡¯s just me.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t say that,¡± she urged, her voice steady. ¡°You can rebuild. You have a life ahead of you. It might not feel like it now, but¡ª¡± ¡°Rebuild?¡± he spat, anger and grief intertwining. ¡°How do I rebuild when the foundation is ashes? How do I¡ª¡± The breath caught in his throat, and he pressed his palms against his eyes, trying to stem the tears that threatened to spill. ¡°I can¡¯t do this.¡± ¡°Kaushal,¡± she said, her voice low and soothing. ¡°You¡¯re not alone. You have the hospital staff, the people who care¡ª¡± ¡°Care?¡± He scoffed, wiping his eyes. ¡°They¡¯re just doing their jobs.¡± ¡°Maybe,¡± she conceded, her tone gentle. ¡°But that doesn¡¯t mean they don¡¯t care. You¡¯re going to need support. It¡¯s okay to ask for help.¡± He looked at her, really looked at her. She was trying¡ªhe could see that. But it didn¡¯t change the hollow ache in his chest or the weight of grief pressing down on him like a lead blanket. The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement. ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk about it,¡± he murmured, his voice a whisper. ¡°Alright,¡± she replied softly, pulling back a little. ¡°But if you change your mind, I¡¯m here. You can talk to someone. You don¡¯t have to go through this alone.¡± The door closed behind her, leaving him in silence once more. The beeping machines filled the void, and he closed his eyes, envisioning the chaos from just days before. The fire, the screams, the desperate calls echoing in the air. ¡°Ma! Baba!¡± The words fell from his lips like an incantation, desperate for a miracle that wouldn¡¯t come. Kaushal sat in the stillness, the grief swirling around him like a tempest. The memories came flooding back¡ªthe sound of his mother¡¯s laughter, the warmth of his father¡¯s embrace. They were gone, and he was left with a gaping hole where his family had been. He pressed his palms against his face, feeling the heat of tears pooling in his eyes. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry,¡± he whispered, as if they could hear him. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry I couldn¡¯t save you.¡± The door creaked open again, and another nurse entered, this one with a clipboard. She glanced up and offered a brief smile, but Kaushal didn¡¯t have the energy to return it. ¡°Good morning, Kaushal,¡± she said cheerfully. ¡°How are you feeling today?¡± He shrugged, the weight of his sorrow pulling him down. ¡°Like I¡¯m in a nightmare I can¡¯t wake up from.¡± The nurse¡¯s smile faltered. ¡°I can only imagine. You¡¯ve been through a lot. But we¡¯re here to help you. Is there anything you need?¡± ¡°Just¡­ just leave me alone,¡± he muttered, burying his face in his hands. ¡°Alright, but remember, you¡¯re not alone in this,¡± she said softly, retreating. For a long moment, he stared at the sterile walls, his thoughts spiraling deeper into despair. Would he ever feel whole again? A soft knock drew his attention, and he looked up to see a doctor standing in the doorway. ¡°Kaushal? Can I come in?¡± ¡°Sure.¡± The word slipped out, heavy and reluctant. The doctor stepped inside, his expression serious but compassionate. ¡°I¡¯m Dr. Joshi. We¡¯re monitoring your health closely, but I wanted to check on you.¡± ¡°Why? I¡¯m just a statistic now,¡± Kaushal said bitterly, feeling the walls close in around him. ¡°That¡¯s not true,¡± Dr. Joshi replied firmly. ¡°You¡¯re a survivor. Many people are rooting for you to heal, both physically and emotionally.¡± Kaushal scoffed, shaking his head. ¡°What do they know about me? They don¡¯t know what I¡¯ve lost.¡± ¡°Losing loved ones is incredibly painful,¡± the doctor acknowledged. ¡°But you have the chance to keep their memories alive. You can find a way to honor them.¡± ¡°Honor them?¡± he echoed, the bitterness lacing his words. ¡°How? By living with this weight of guilt? This emptiness?¡± ¡°By sharing their stories. Talking about what they meant to you. It may feel impossible right now, but it can help you find a way forward.¡± Kaushal felt anger rise within him, fuelled by grief. ¡°You don¡¯t understand! You can¡¯t just¡ª¡± ¡°I do understand,¡± Dr. Joshi interrupted, his voice steady. ¡°I¡¯ve seen many people go through this. It¡¯s not easy, but you¡¯re not alone. You have support here.¡± ¡°What kind of support?¡± he shot back, his voice rising. ¡°What good is it if I¡¯m alone in this world?¡± ¡°Support in the form of professionals. Therapists, counselors¡­ people who can help you process this loss.¡± Kaushal¡¯s heart raced. ¡°I don¡¯t need a therapist. I need my parents back!¡± ¡°I know. But since you can¡¯t have them back, you owe it to yourself to find a way to cope with their absence.¡± The doctor¡¯s words hung heavy in the air, and Kaushal felt a flicker of something¡ªmaybe hope. Or maybe just the idea that someone cared enough to try. ¡°I¡¯ll think about it,¡± Kaushal said, the words tasting bitter on his tongue. Dr. Joshi nodded, a small smile breaking through his serious demeanor. ¡°That¡¯s all I can ask for. Just take your time. Healing isn¡¯t a race.¡± The doctor left, and Kaushal was left alone once more. He stared at the ceiling, feeling the tears spill over. This was his reality now¡ªa reality tinged with loss and heartache. He longed for the warmth of his mother¡¯s embrace and the steady presence of his father. ¡°Kaushal!¡± He could almost hear their voices, echoing in the silence. ¡°Hold on!¡± But the echoes faded, leaving him in the dark. He let out a shuddering breath, feeling the weight of grief press down on him. ¡°Why?¡± he whispered, the question lingering in the air, unanswered. He buried his face in his hands, the tears flowing freely. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry,¡± he murmured again, the words a hollow promise to the void. The door opened once more, and this time it was a familiar face¡ªa friend from school, Arjun. His eyes were wide with concern as he stepped inside, hesitating at the threshold. ¡°Kaushal¡­ I came as soon as I heard,¡± he said, his voice trembling slightly. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry about your parents.¡± Kaushal looked up, his heart heavy. ¡°They¡¯re gone, Arjun. Just like that.¡± ¡°I know,¡± Arjun replied softly, stepping further into the room. ¡°I can¡¯t imagine what you¡¯re going through. But I¡¯m here for you. You don¡¯t have to go through this alone.¡± ¡°Everyone keeps saying that,¡± Kaushal snapped, frustration bubbling to the surface. ¡°But how can you understand? How can anyone understand?¡± ¡°I may not understand completely,¡± Arjun admitted, his voice calm. ¡°But I want to help. I want to support you. If you need to talk, I¡¯m here.¡± ¡°What¡¯s the point?¡± Kaushal said, the bitterness in his voice unmistakable. ¡°Talking won¡¯t bring them back.¡± ¡°Maybe not,¡± Arjun said, his voice steady, ¡°but it can help you process what you¡¯re feeling. It can help you find a way to honor them.¡± ¡°Honor them?¡± Kaushal echoed, the words tasting foreign. ¡°Yes. Talk about the good times. Share their stories. It¡¯s a way to keep their memory alive. You don¡¯t have to do this alone.¡± Kaushal felt the tears welling up again, the ache in his chest more pronounced. He wanted to scream, to lash out, but instead, he buried his face in his hands again. ¡°I don¡¯t know if I can,¡± he whispered, the words barely escaping his lips. Arjun moved closer, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. ¡°You don¡¯t have to do it all at once. Just take it one day at a time.¡± The warmth of his friend¡¯s hand offered a glimmer of comfort, and Kaushal let out a shaky breath. ¡°Stay with me, okay?¡± he murmured, the vulnerability in his voice a small crack in his armor. ¡°Always,¡± Arjun replied, his grip firm and reassuring. In that moment, surrounded by the sterile scent of antiseptic and the beeping of machines, Kaushal felt a flicker of hope ignite within him. It was a small flame, easily extinguished, but it was there, fighting against the encroaching darkness. And as he sat with his friend, the weight of grief still heavy on his heart, he realized he was not completely alone. Lonely despair The sun hung low in the sky, casting a golden hue over the Ganga Tath, where the river flowed with a gentle murmur, its waters glistening like scattered diamonds. Kaushal stood on the bank, clutching a small urn, the ashes of his family swirling in his mind like the eddies of the river. He felt Aryan beside him, a quiet presence, providing a steady anchor in the storm of grief that threatened to drag him under. ¡°Are you ready?¡± Aryan¡¯s voice was low, almost swallowed by the sound of the water lapping against the stones. Kaushal¡¯s throat tightened. He blinked, trying to clear the haze that clung to his vision. ¡°Ready? How can anyone be ready for this?¡± His voice cracked, the weight of his sorrow crashing over him like a tidal wave. ¡°Just take your time,¡± Aryan said softly, his gaze fixed on the river. ¡°They deserve this, Kaushal. You deserve this.¡± With trembling hands, Kaushal opened the urn, the faint scent of sandalwood wafting up to meet him. He hesitated, the memories flooding back¡ªhis mother¡¯s laughter, his father¡¯s warm embrace, the life they had built together now reduced to a pile of ashes. With a deep breath, he stepped forward, the river beckoning him closer. He could feel Aryan¡¯s presence behind him, steadying him. ¡°I wish I could have saved them,¡± he whispered, the words slipping from his lips like a prayer. ¡°None of this is your fault,¡± Aryan replied, his voice firm but gentle. ¡°You did everything you could.¡± But Kaushal shook his head, feeling the tears spill over onto his cheeks. ¡°I was supposed to be there. I was supposed to protect them.¡± ¡°Sometimes, things happen that are beyond our control,¡± Aryan said, placing a hand on Kaushal¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Let this be a moment of release.¡± Kaushal¡¯s heart raced as he looked into the river, the swirling currents reflecting the chaos in his mind. ¡°I don¡¯t know if I can,¡± he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. ¡°Just let go,¡± Aryan encouraged. ¡°Honor their memory.¡± With a deep breath, Kaushal tilted the urn, the ashes spilling out into the river like whispers carried away by the breeze. He watched as they drifted, his heart aching with every grain that slipped away. ¡°Goodbye, Ma. Baba,¡± he murmured, the names catching in his throat. Tears flowed freely now, mingling with the water as he felt Aryan¡¯s hand squeeze his shoulder in silent support. ¡°You did well,¡± Aryan said. ¡°They¡¯re at peace now.¡± ¡°I just¡­ I wish I could have one more moment with them,¡± Kaushal said, the words tumbling out in a rush. ¡°I would give anything to hear my mother¡¯s laughter one last time.¡± ¡°They¡¯ll always be with you,¡± Aryan assured him, his voice steady. ¡°In your heart, in your memories. You carry them with you.¡± Kaushal nodded slowly, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. Once the last of the ashes had dissolved into the river, he felt a strange sense of finality wash over him. The ritual was over, but the weight of grief still pressed down on him, heavy and suffocating. This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it As they turned to leave, Kaushal¡¯s chest tightened. ¡°Now what?¡± he asked, his voice a mix of confusion and despair. ¡°What do I do without them?¡± ¡°Now, you go home,¡± Aryan replied, ¡°and you take it one step at a time. You don¡¯t have to face this alone.¡± Home. The word echoed in Kaushal¡¯s mind, but it felt like a hollow shell. The house he had shared with his parents now loomed like a ghost, a monument to his loss. The ride back was silent, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavily in the air. Aryan glanced over at Kaushal, concern etched on his face. ¡°You¡¯re not alone in this, Kaushal. I¡¯m here.¡± Kaushal managed a faint smile, though it felt foreign on his lips. ¡°Thank you, Aryan. I don¡¯t know what I¡¯d do without you.¡± As they arrived at his house, Kaushal hesitated. The familiar sight of the front porch, the garden his mother had tended to so lovingly, now felt like a cruel reminder of everything he had lost. Aryan parked the car and turned to him, his expression earnest. ¡°Want me to come in with you?¡± Kaushal shook his head, the thought of facing the empty rooms alone filling him with dread. ¡°I need to do this by myself.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± Aryan said, his voice softening. ¡°But I¡¯ll be just a call away if you need anything.¡± ¡°Yeah, I know.¡± Kaushal stepped out of the car, the weight of Aryan¡¯s words lingering in the air. He watched as Aryan drove away, the taillights fading into the distance. The front door creaked as he pushed it open, the familiar scent of home swirling around him. But instead of warmth, it felt cold and sterile, like a museum of memories he could no longer bear to visit. Kaushal stepped inside, the silence enveloping him like a shroud. He wandered through the living room, the furniture untouched, the photographs lining the walls reminding him of happier times. His heart ached as he brushed his fingers over the frames, lingering on a picture of his family at a picnic, laughter frozen in time. ¡°Why did you leave me?¡± he whispered to the empty room, the question hanging in the air like a ghost. He stumbled into the kitchen, the starkness of the space hitting him like a wave. This was where his mother had cooked, the smell of spices mingling with laughter. Now it was just a void, a reminder of the warmth that had been snuffed out. Kaushal felt a surge of anger and despair. ¡°I can¡¯t do this,¡± he muttered, frustration bubbling up inside him. ¡°I can¡¯t live here without you.¡± He grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet, the glass cool against his fingers. He poured a generous amount into a glass, the amber liquid swirling like the turmoil in his mind. With each sip, the weight of his grief felt a little lighter, the edges of his pain dulling just enough to breathe. After a few glasses, the world around him began to blur, the memories mixing with the alcohol as he sank into the couch. Laughter echoed in his mind, fleeting and ethereal, but it was there, a reminder of what had been. ¡°Ma, Baba,¡± he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. ¡°I miss you so much.¡± The tears returned, flowing freely as he surrendered to the darkness. ¡°Why did you leave me?¡± The question became a mantra, each repetition pushing him deeper into despair. Hours slipped away as he lost himself in the haze of the alcohol, the room spinning gently around him. He could hear the sounds of the world outside, but inside, it felt like he was in an entirely different realm¡ªa realm where laughter lingered just out of reach, where warmth was a distant memory. At some point, he fell asleep, the weight of the whiskey and grief pulling him into a restless slumber. When he awoke, the sun had dipped low in the sky, casting long shadows across the living room. The remnants of his drinking binge were scattered around him, the empty bottles a stark reminder of his attempt to drown the pain. Kaushal rubbed his eyes, the light piercing through the haze of sleep. He felt heavy, both physically and emotionally, the reality crashing back in like a tidal wave. He stumbled to his feet, the world still swaying slightly. The silence in the house was suffocating, and he found himself wandering back to the kitchen, the need for something stronger pulling him. ¡°Just one more,¡± he muttered, pouring another drink, the liquid sloshing in the glass. The burn felt good, a familiar comfort in the chaos.