《Chronicles Of Made Up Scenarios I Force My Friends Into On Discord》 Fate/Stay Midnight: Unlimited Shenanigans The chill of midnight swept through the empty streets, carrying a frigid gust that jolted two teenage boys awake. They lay sprawled on the cold sidewalk, the rough concrete biting into their backs. As their senses returned, they blinked groggily, taking in their surroundings¡ªa school courtyard enclosed by tall metal fencing. The shorter of the two, a boy with the black bird''s nest, sat up scratching at his head like a frantic crackhead chasing after his next high. His wide eyes darted around in panic. "Oh no! He threw us into Highschool of the Dead!¡± The taller boy, unfazed, simply shrugged. "Zombies? Big deal. Not like they''re worse than the bosses we¡¯ve fought before." The duo''s attention was caught by the sharp clang of metal clashing against metal rang through the air, followed by a thunderous explosion. A shockwave rippled through the ground, sending dust and debris flying in all directions. Instinctively, the boys shielded their faces as the force of the impact pressed against their bodies. From behind the barrier of his arms, the taller boy peeked out¡ªand what he saw sent a chill down his spine. Two figures, one cloaked in red, the other in blue, blurred across the battlefield, their movements too fast for the eye to follow. On the sidelines stood a girl, watching the chaos unfold. He nudged his friend. "Kevin, we need to leave. Like right now. Casually. Just walk away." Kevin turned, "Well you see Howard¡­ I think I made eye contact with the blue guy. He stopped moving. And now that I¡¯m looking closer, he looks kinda¡ª" Howard grabbed Kevin by the collar and yanked him to his feet, sprinting without looking back. "Goddamn it, Kevin! We gotta bolt!" "Damn, what anime is this?!" Kevin coughed out before brushing off Howard¡¯s grip as he matched his pace. "It¡¯s Fate." "Well, guide us! I don¡¯t know shit about this!" "What we need right now is to find a populated area¡ªhopefully." Their breath came in ragged gasps as they pushed their bodies to the limit, sprinting under the glow of the moon. The deserted neighborhood streets stretched endlessly before them, offering no cover. Howard spat under his breath. "Why does it have to be a goddamn suburb?! We¡¯ve got a fast-ass motherfucker in blue tights ready to kill us!" Just then, Kevin slammed into Howard¡¯s outstretched arm, coming to an abrupt halt. "The fuck was that¡ª" Slowly, Kevin¡¯s gaze lifted. Perched atop a telephone pole was a figure draped in deep crimson, crouched like a predator waiting to pounce. A long red lance rested against his shoulder. The moon¡¯s pale light reflected off his blood-red eyes and the silver earring that dangled from his ear, swaying in the midnight breeze. A smirk spread across his visage. "Took you guys long enough. I was starting to fall asleep waiting." Kevin turned to Howard. "Well¡­ this run is dead." Howard let out a long sigh. "Yup." With effortless grace, the lancer leapt from the telephone pole, landing before them onto the center of the road. He twirled his weapon before leveling it at the duo. "Sorry, but you¡¯ll have to die." Kevin scoffed, spitting on the ground. "For someone with eighth-grade syndrome, you dare act so arrogant?" Howard smacked Kevin upside the head before reaching into his pocket, pulling out a card. Holding it up to the dim streetlight. A swirl of purple energy crackled to life as a robed magician materialized beside him, a green staff spinning in his fingers. "It¡¯s all or nothing. Go! Dark Magician¡ªDark Magic Attack!" A surge of dark energy erupted from the magician¡¯s staff, tearing through the street with a brilliant flash of violet lightning. The sheer force of the blast shattered concrete, sending debris flying in all directions. For a moment, the explosion¡¯s radiance turned night into day. Kevin shielded his eyes, his voice overpowered by the explosion. "That¡¯s the ultimate wizard in terms of attack and defense..." He stumbled back, landing on his ass. As the dust settled, the blue lancer emerged from the destruction¡ªunscathed now standing on the sidewalk opposite to the two.. Not a single speck of dirt marred his ultramarine bodysuit. Casually twirling his lance, he smirked. "Impressive light show. But projectiles don¡¯t work on me." His crimson eyes flicked toward the magician. "So¡­ is that Caster your Servant?" Howard scoffed. "Yeah, sure." His gaze remained locked on the lancer¡¯s weapon. "Dark Magician, defense¡ª" A flash of red. The lance shot forward, piercing straight through the Dark Magician¡¯s head. The sorcerer shattered into thousands of polygonal shards, the lance continuing its deadly trajectory¡ªtoward Howard¡¯s skull. Kevin lunged, tackling Howard out of the way as the two crashed onto the sidewalk in a heap as the red lance embedded itself into the ground where Howard had stood. "Howard, I¡¯ll talk him into letting us go!" A devious grin spread across Kevin¡¯s dirt-smeared face. Howard jumped back up into standing position. "No, you suck at this. When has your ¡®talk no jutsu¡¯ ever worked?!" Kevin dusted himself off and took a big step forward. "You know¡­you and I aren¡¯t so different. You don¡¯t have to resort to violence. Let bygones be bygones, and just let us go, man." Lancer blinked, momentarily thrown off by the sheer audacity of Kevin¡¯s words. His grip on the lance wavered. The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. Howard''s eyes widened. "Wait¡­ is this actually working?!" Kevin turned around and started accelerating "Now Howard¡ªRUN!" The two bolted down the street. Gasping for air, Howard wheezed. "How long does that last?!" Kevin shrugged mid-sprint. "I dunno, that''s the first time it worked, so¡­ no idea!" Suddenly, Kevin winced in pain, clutching his right hand as if it were on fire. His fingers trembled, a deep red glow emanating from his palm. Kevin stared at the intricate markings forming on his skin, the moonlight catching their strange, ethereal glow before casting a side glance at Howard ¡°Mind telling me what this is fate wiki?¡± "Okay¡­ this changes everything. We might actually have a shot. We need to find a ritual circle. Now." Kevin frowned. "Why do I have this?! I¡¯m the Fate noob!" "Because fate. Either that or we go beg a shady priest for protection, but I wouldn¡¯t recommend it." Kevin exhaled sharply, flexing his marked hand. His gaze lingered on the glowing lines¡ªuntil his foot caught on a trash can. He crashed, sending garbage flying everywhere. "You fucking dumbass¡ª" Howard¡¯s eyes then caught something glimmering in the trash: a sword sheath, shining in silver, blue, and gold. His heart skipped a beat. Without hesitation, he shoved Kevin aside, frantically digging it out. Kevin groaned. "Howard, you fu¡ª" Blood dribbled from his lip as he staggered, only to have the sheath thrust into his arms. "Take it. We need to find a ritual circle. Now." Kevin and Howard ran until their legs screamed in protest, their breath coming in ragged gasps. The quiet suburb finally gave way to an open park, the grass cool beneath their aching bodies as they collapsed onto the dirt. Howard wiped the sweat from his brow. "Damn¡­ that talk no jutsu is really clutch. Lancer still hasn¡¯t caught up yet." Kevin, lying flat on his back, lifted a discarded picnic blanket from the ground, shaking off the dust. "Did someone really throw this away? The design¡¯s pretty nice. I¡¯m taking it." Howard sat up, "Kevin, we have a demigod-level ghost that can one-shot us, and you¡¯re worried about a damn¡ª" His eyes locked onto the intricate patterns of the blanket before darting toward the sheath they had recovered earlier. With a sharp intake, he snatched the blanket off his friend, laying it out on the soft grass before picking up the sheath and tossing it onto the center. His hands trembled slightly, not from fear but from sheer adrenaline. He turned to Kevin, eyes burning with intensity. "Alright. Repeat after me¡ªword for word." He jabbed a finger at Kevin¡¯s chest. "No screwing around. Just say it." He clenched his fists, knuckles white as the distant sound of approaching footsteps sent a shiver down his spine. "Let rise a wall against the wind that shall fall. Let the four cardinal gates close. Let the three-forked road from the crown, reaching unto the Kingdom, rotate. Let it be declared now¡ªyour flesh shall serve under me, and my fate shall be with your sword." Kevin fiddled with his birds nest, his brows furrowing. "Wait¡­ me?" Howard groaned, running both hands through his black hair before gripping Kevin¡¯s shoulders and shaking him. "Yes, you, dumbass! You¡¯re the one with the hand tattoo!" The sound of footsteps grew louder. The wind howled through the park, kicking up dirt and leaves, a storm creeping closer. Howard turned toward the noise, before turning back to Kevin in a whisper. "Hurry the fuck up, Kevin!" His foot unconsciously tapped against the ground, his entire body tense like a coiled spring. Kevin swallowed hard. His heart pounded in his ears. "L-let rise a w-wall agains¡¯¡ªfuck¡ªagainst the wind t-that shall fall. L-let the four¡­ g-gates? No, cardinal! Cardinal gates close¡ªoh shit, I bit my tongue¡ªlet the t-three-forked road from the crown re-reach unto the Kingdom rotate! L-let it be de-declared now¡ªyour flesh shall s-serve und¡ªgoddammit!¡ªunder me, and my fate shall b-be with your sword!" Howard winced, dragging a hand down his face. "That was painful to hear." "I wanted it to sound more respectful, but somebody kept rushing me!" Then the ground beneath them trembled. A blinding white light exploded from the blanket. Arcs of blue lightning crackled through the air, scorching the dirt. The air thickened, the temperature spiking as raw energy radiated from the summoning circle. Howard raised his arm to shield his eyes. "Let¡¯s hope your luck doesn¡¯t screw us over¡­" he muttered, barely audible over the deafening roar of magical energy surging around them. Then¡ª "There you are." Both boys turned sharply toward the park entrance. The blue lancer had arrived. His red spear glowed under the moonlight as he rolled his shoulders, his brows furrowed. "I don¡¯t know what you did to me last time, but whatever it was, it won¡¯t work on me twice!" He lunged. Kevin¡¯s breath hitched, his legs trembling¡ªbut despite every survival instinct screaming at him to run, his middle finger shot up at the charging warrior. "You wanna die, you bitch?!" The spear closed in¡ª Then the wind howled. A violent gust of air tore through the space between them, knocking Kevin and Howard clean off their feet. They crashed onto the dirt with a grunt as a cloaked figure materialized before them. A hooded figure, clad in medieval armor, stood tall, their airy blade raised in a seamless defensive stance. The polished metal of their gauntlet gleamed in the moonlight. Lancer clicked his tongue, twirling his spear. "Tch. Great. This just got complicated." And then¡ªhe struck. Lancer dashed forward in a blur, thrusting his crimson spear with deadly precision. The hooded knight sidestepped with inhuman agility before parrying the strike with a sharp upward arc of their air blade. The clash sent a shockwave rippling through the park, rustling the trees and scattering debris. Lancer pivoted, retracting his weapon before spinning into a follow-up sweep. The knight leaned back, narrowly avoiding the attack before retaliating with a whirlwind slash, sending a spiraling gust of razor-sharp air toward his opponent. Lancer ducked just in time, the wind grazing past his cheek, slicing through the bark of a nearby tree like paper. Without missing a beat, he leaped into the air, twisting mid-flight before hurling his spear downward like a javelin. The knight stood firm. At the last possible second, they raised their blade and deflected the incoming projectile, sending it spinning into the ground several feet away. Lancer landed gracefully kicking his spear back into his grasp "Not bad. But let¡¯s see how long you can keep up!" With a burst of speed, he lunged once more. The hooded knight met him head-on, their weapons clashing in a dazzling flurry of strikes¡ªeach impact igniting sparks in the night air. Blades flashed, feet danced across the concrete in a deadly exchange of attacks and counters. Howard and Kevin lay sprawled on the ground, completely captivated, their eyes darting back and forth to keep up with the scene unfolding before them. Then, in a sudden burst of movement, Lancer¡¯s spear found an opening. With a forceful twist, he knocked the hooded knight¡¯s invisible blade off-balance and sent a devastating kick to their chest. The knight staggered back slightly but remained standing. "Hmph. You¡¯re better than most, I¡¯ll give you that." Lancer spun his spear once more before finally retreating a few steps. "But I¡¯ve had my fun. I¡¯ll be back soon enough." With that, he vanished into the night, his presence dissipating into the shadows. As the dust settled, the hooded knight turned to face Kevin and Howard, their gaze unreadable beneath the shadows of their cloak. Then, in a voice calm yet firm, they spoke¡ª "I ask of you¡ªare you my Master?" Maidenless Behavior The sky was blue, the air crisp, and birds chirped overhead. Meanwhile, Howard¡¯s flank ached as he rolled across the cobblestone. ¡°Damn¡­ that¡¯s one buff-ass old man. Who knew a basketball could hurt that much?¡± He ran his fingers over his ribcage, wincing. Beside him lay Kevin, his friend of five years, curled up in a fetal position and staring at the clear sky. ¡°Oh, hey, Howard. You¡¯re here too?¡± Kevin smirked lazily. ¡°I ran in front of a garbage truck.¡± Howard blinked. ¡°What?¡± Kevin sighed, stretching out like a cat. ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s a long story. Anyway, you really are my lucky charm. Wherever I go, you¡¯re always there. I¡¯ll just follow.¡± ¡°Stop spouting nonsense,¡± Howard groaned, sitting up. ¡°We need to figure out where we are¡ªI cannot handle another isekai scenario.¡± As he stood, he finally took in his surroundings. A bustling medieval town square stretched before them. Merchants shouted deals over the chatter of passersby, wooden carts creaked under the weight of fresh produce, and blacksmiths hammered away in the distance. ¡°Look at us, two Asians stranded somewhere in Europe, by the looks of it. Aren¡¯t we a rare sight?¡± Kevin remarked, eyeing the fantasy RPG setting. ¡°Forget race,¡± Howard grumbled, inspecting his clothes¡ªtattered rags, no better than a peasant¡¯s. ¡°We need to get jobs. Hopefully, without any economic discrimination.¡± Kevin raised an eyebrow. ¡°Bold of you to assume this world has worker rights.¡± The sun had begun to set when the two reunited at the town square. ¡°So, how was job hunting, homie?¡± Kevin leaned back against the stone steps, taking a sharp bite of the stale bread he had bought. Howard wiped the sweat from his brow with the edge of his tattered sleeve, his muscles still aching from the day''s labor. ¡°Got a job working the wheat fields. Pays five copper a day. At least I¡¯m staying in shape.¡± Kevin smirked and jingled his coin pouch. ¡°Pfft. Five? I one-upped you. I get double that as a janitor at the stables.¡± Howard wrinkled his nose. ¡°Yeah? Well figures, you¡¯re literally cleaning shit. Good luck finding a place to shower around here.¡± Kevin only grinned. His black, messy hair was now tangled with straw, and his peasant rags bore questionable stains. Howard exhaled, rubbing his temples shooting Kevin a sideways glance. ¡°Alright, now that we¡¯ve got our finances somewhat handled, did you actually learn anything useful today? Or were you too busy dealing with shit?¡± Kevin swallowed his bite and pulled a coin from his pouch. He turned it between his fingers, studying its design. The copper piece was worn but intricately crafted, its edges engraved with unfamiliar script. On one side, a stern-faced figure in a spiked crown gazed outward, a sword raised beside him in what looked like a gesture of conquest. The other side bore an emblem¡ªa roaring lion intertwined with a serpent, their bodies curling around a blazing sun. ¡°This town is part of something called the Zailes Empire,¡± Kevin mused, tilting the coin under the fading sunlight. ¡°Never heard of it in history, well our history at least, so by conclusion¡­¡± He flicked the coin up, caught it effortlessly. Howard groaned. ¡°We might not even be in our world. That¡¯s just great. Hopefully, this fantasy isn¡¯t the soul-crushing type. If it is, do you have any overpowered cheat abilities?¡± Kevin snorted. ¡°Bitch, I can¡¯t even see my status, let alone get a cheat skill.¡± He waved his hands dramatically. ¡°Status! Stat! System Call! Profile!¡ªAbracadabra!¡± Nothing happened. He let his arms drop with a sigh. ¡°See? Nothing. He really just dumped us here with nothing.¡± Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there. Kevin struggled to tear another bite from his rock-hard bread, his jaw working overtime. ¡°Sho¡ªwheh¡­ whe¡¯ we sshhhleepin¡¯¡ª¡± He swallowed hard, wincing. ¡°Ugh¡ªdamn, this is dry as hell, no wonder it''s only one copper. Anyways, where we crashin¡¯ tonight? Inns¡¯re ¡¯spensive, an¡¯ streets¡¯re¡ª¡± He choked slightly, smacking his chest before forcing the rest down. ¡°¡ªnot comfy.¡± ¡°My employer has an empty spot in his barn. Guess we¡¯ll be sleeping on hay for a while.¡± Howard turned to leave, then grimaced. ¡°Also, go find a lake or something¡ªI am not sleeping near the smell of shit.¡± As the morning rays shone through the barn, Kevin cackled, choking on his bread, and jogged after him. Howard woke up with a splitting headache. ¡°My head is killing me,¡± Kevin groaned beside him. ¡°All Howard¡¯s fault.¡± ¡°For what¡ª¡± A sudden thunder of hoofbeats and the clank of metal cut him off. Outside, the town square erupted in commotion. Howard¡¯s employer rushed toward them, pale-faced. ¡°It¡¯s the Zailes Knight Brigade! Quickly, gather at the square¡ªor they¡¯ll have our heads!¡± Howard and Kevin exchanged glances. The duo joined the growing crowd as a platoon of knights rode into the square. The leading knight dismounted, unrolled a scroll, and cleared his throat. Kevin nudged Howard. ¡°Damn, there¡¯s like twenty-plus knights. What do you think is the occasion for all this?¡± Howard sighed. ¡°Probably some ¡®By order of the King, you¡¯re all under our control¡¯ bullshit or something along those lines.¡± The knight¡¯s voice boomed through the square. ¡°By order of the Zailes Empire, the quarterly draft for men-at-arms shall commence!¡± Murmurs rippled through the crowd. ¡°Those who comply will have the opportunity to bring great honor to the Empire. Should you demonstrate exceptional valor, you may be promoted to Junior Knight.¡± Howard stiffened, his grip tightening around the rough fabric of his tunic. His jaw clenched, and his lips pressed into a thin line as the knight''s decree rang through the air. He could feel the weight of the inevitable settling onto his shoulders like an iron yoke. Kevin, being Kevin, immediately threw him under the bus. ¡°Uh¡­ yeah sir knight take him. He¡¯s durable.¡± Howard scoffed. ¡°You¡¯re three times more durable than me.¡± ¡°And? You¡¯re three times stronger than me.¡± ¡°Psh. Doesn¡¯t matter.¡± ¡°It does. Push you¡¯re taller so you¡¯re more knight material.¡± ¡°I¡¯m a bigger target. You¡¯re small, harder to hit.¡± ¡°No human skin is sword-proof. Strength is everything. You¡¯d do better on the battlefield.¡± ¡°Yeah, well, at your height, no one would even see you.¡± ¡°Low blow.¡± Kevin swatted at Howard playfully. ¡°I shovel poop. A farmer is more physically suited for war.¡± Howard smirked. ¡°Ten copper is ten copper. And who¡¯s gonna grow food if they draft the farmers, huh? They need people who can handle the horrors of war. Like you¡ªyou deal with horse shit daily.¡± Before Kevin could retort, Howard spun on his heel and strode off, his pace brisk, deliberate. ¡°I¡¯m going back to work. If you¡¯re feeling adventurous, by all means¡ªtry out for knighthood.¡± Kevin simply shrugged and turned to the knights. ¡°So anyways, Sir Knight, I''m good at cleaning. I hear battlefields get messy.¡± Howard wiped sweat from his brow, his hands coated in dirt as he hunched over a pile of half-dug trenches. The farm work was grueling, but it was honest. It kept him grounded. Kept him from dealing with the madness that was medieval warfare. Or at least, that¡¯s what he thought. The rhythmic clop of hooves against the dirt sent a chill down his spine. Slowly, he turned. There, chatting with the knights like they were old drinking buddies, was Kevin. Howard¡¯s stomach twisted. Kevin suddenly turned, flashing a mischievous grin, and pointed directly at him. Howard¡¯s entire soul left his body. Kevin leaned toward a knight. ¡°Hey, my friend over there? Super strong. You should take him too.¡± Howard immediately deadpanned. ¡°I don¡¯t know that guy. Total weirdo. Never seen his face in my life.¡± The wooden wagon rocked beneath them, the town shrinking in the distance. The scent of damp wood mixed with the earthy musk of horses, but none of it registered to Howard. He sat stiffly on the rough planks, arms crossed, his expression hollow¡ªempty. Kevin stretched lazily beside him. ¡°Something on your mind, buddy?¡± Howard¡¯s eyes bore into the horizon with the weight of a thousand regrets. When he finally spoke, his voice was tight, controlled. ¡°Why did you have to clean shit so well? We wouldn¡¯t be drafted.¡± Kevin grinned. ¡°Because I¡¯m good at my job. You wouldn¡¯t hold a grudge, right?¡± Howard turned to face him, gaze sharp as a blade. He inhaled deeply, exhaled slowly, and then¡ª ¡°Fuck you.¡± Kevin cackled.