《Why Does Every Overpowered Woman in This World Want to Own Me?!》


 Prologue: Bugged from the Start

    Haruto didn¡¯t ask for this.


    One moment, he was living the dream¡ªor rather, the NEET dream¡ªlounging in his dimly lit apartment, a half-eaten convenience store meal on his desk and an anime marathon playing in the background. No job, no responsibilities, just endless freedom to game, read web novels, and sleep whenever he wanted.


    Then, out of nowhere, his screen glitched.


    At first, he thought his laptop had finally given out after years of abuse, but the distortion spread¡ªwarping his vision, making the walls twist and collapse like a poorly rendered game world.


    And then¡ªeverything went black.


    When Haruto came to, he wasn¡¯t in his room anymore.


    He was floating in a vast, endless white void, sitting across from what looked like a half-asleep salaryman in celestial robes. The guy had dark bags under his eyes, a messy clipboard in hand, and an aura that screamed "I hate my job."


    The celestial being sighed.


    "Alright, kid. Listen up. There was a minor¡­ let¡¯s call it a ¡®system error.¡¯"


    Haruto blinked. ¡°Huh?¡±


    "You weren¡¯t actually supposed to be reincarnated yet, but our cosmic management system had a bit of a¡­ malfunction. It kind of... auto-assigned you maxed-out stats."


    Haruto tilted his head. ¡°Maxed-out¡­?¡±


    "Yeah. Like, every skill, every stat, every ability in existence¡ªmaxed out. Combat arts, magic, crafting, cooking, charisma, even stuff like ¡®Stealth¡¯ and ¡®Handwriting.¡¯ You¡¯ve got it all at the highest possible level."


    ¡°Wait, wait, wait. Doesn¡¯t that mean I¡¯m basically¡ª¡±


    "Yes. You¡¯re broken. Completely overpowered. Please do not ask me to fix it. That feature is locked."


    Haruto opened his mouth to protest, but before he could, the administrator waved a hand.


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    "Anyway, enjoy your new life. Welcome to Eldoria. Hope you find a job."


    And then¡ªhe was gone.


    ---


    One Month Later ¨C Fantasy World (Eldoria)


    By all logic, Haruto should be thriving.


    He had strength beyond dragons. His magic could rewrite reality. His intelligence rivaled sages.


    And yet¡­


    He was broke, jobless, and lying on a wooden bench in the middle of town.


    Why?


    Because no one would hire him.


    His first attempt was at the Adventurer¡¯s Guild.


    [ADVENTURERS WANTED! NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY!]


    It seemed promising¡ªuntil they took one look at his stats and threw his application into the fireplace.


    "You¡¯re too powerful to register," the receptionist, Claire, had told him.


    Haruto, baffled, had tried to argue. "Isn¡¯t that a good thing? I can clear quests super easily¡ª"


    "No, that¡¯s the problem!" Claire snapped. "If we let someone like you take F-rank quests, you¡¯d break the entire ranking system!"


    "...What if I hold back?"


    She glared at him. "Last time you sneezed, you shattered three training dummies and caused a mana surge."


    "...Fair point."


    So, adventuring was out.


    Fine. No problem. He could just find a normal job, right?


    Wrong.


    He applied to be a scribe, copying documents and books. His handwriting was too perfect, to the point that the Guild accused him of using forbidden magic to fake official scrolls.


    He tried cooking.


    Every time he touched food, it subconsciously absorbed his excess mana and turned into a magical disaster. A simple loaf of bread turned into a mana bomb that exploded when someone took a bite. The bakery burned down.


    Then, he tried blacksmithing.


    He forged a simple iron sword.


    It turned into a legendary-grade weapon just from his passive skill boosting the material¡¯s properties. The blacksmith, instead of hiring him, retired on the spot, declaring that Haruto had ¡°achieved the peak of craftsmanship¡± and that there was ¡°nothing left for him to teach the world.¡±


    Haruto didn¡¯t even do anything.


    His very existence was ruining the economy.


    And so, one month later, he was still unemployed.


    Present Day ¨C A Familiar Disaster


    Haruto sighed, lying flat on the wooden bench in the town square, staring at the sky.


    "I just wanted a normal life," he muttered.


    He had tried everything.


    Rejected from the Adventurer¡¯s Guild.


    Rejected from every normal job.


    At this rate, the only one still interested in hiring him was¡ª


    BOOM.


    A pillar of dark fire erupted at the town¡¯s entrance.


    Haruto didn¡¯t even flinch.


    Here we go again.


    Through the smoke and flames, a familiar figure emerged.


    She was tall, elegant, and dangerously beautiful. Long raven-black hair cascaded over her shoulders. Her crimson-red eyes glowed with power. A black and red cape flowed behind her, and magic circles pulsed at her fingertips.


    The Demon Lord.


    The town descended into chaos.


    Guards scrambled. Citizens screamed. Some knelt in fear, others bolted for safety.


    But Haruto?


    He just groaned and sat up.


    ¡°¡­Lilia.¡±


    Her burning gaze locked onto him.


    ¡°Haruto.¡±


    She took a deep breath. Then, loud enough for the entire town to hear¡ª


    ¡°Join me as my general! No¡ª as my husband!¡±


    The street fell into absolute silence.


    Guards froze mid-charge. Adventurers choked on their drinks. Claire, who had stepped outside to investigate, staggered back like she¡¯d been hit by lightning.


    Haruto pinched the bridge of his nose. ¡°Not this again.¡±


    Lilia stomped her foot, pouting. ¡°This is unacceptable! A man of your power should be ruling at my side, not¡­ wasting away in unemployment!¡±


    "I¡¯m not wasting away," Haruto muttered. "I¡¯m just... in between jobs."


    "That¡¯s the same thing!"


    Haruto sighed. He already knew how this would go.


    Another fight. Another misunderstanding. Another headache.


    And most importantly¡ª


    Another day failing to find a normal job.

 Chapter 1: Job Hunting is Hard When You’re Overqualified

    Haruto stared at the bold red "REJECTED" stamp on his latest job application.


    [Job Application ¨C Denied]


    Reason: Too Overqualified


    He let out a long, exhausted sigh. Again.


    It had been one month since he was thrown into this fantasy world due to a cosmic system error. One month of trying¡ªand failing¡ªto find a job. Every guild, shop, and employer in town had turned him away for the same ridiculous reason.


    Apparently, being too good was a bad thing.


    "How does this make sense?" Haruto muttered, rubbing his temples. "How is having skills a problem?"


    Across the counter, Claire, the blonde, twin-tailed receptionist of the Adventurer''s Guild, crossed her arms and glared at him.


    "It makes perfect sense!" she snapped. "You''re a walking disaster! If we let you register as an adventurer, you''d break the system!"


    "Then let me start at a high rank," Haruto tried.


    "You need experience to rank up."


    "...How do I get experience if you won''t let me register?"


    "Not my problem," Claire huffed, flipping through paperwork.


    Haruto groaned. This was his third attempt to register, and every time, Claire found a new excuse to reject him.


    "So what am I supposed to do? Just starve?"


    "Maybe someone outside the guild will hire you."


    "Like who?"


    BOOM.


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    The doors of the guild exploded open, and a surge of dark energy flooded the room.


    Adventurers leapt back, weapons drawn. Tables and chairs rattled as the overwhelming presence of pure demonic power spread through the building.


    And then¡ª


    A tall, elegant girl strode inside, her crimson-red eyes glowing with power.


    Her long black hair cascaded over her shoulders, and her regal black-and-red attire billowed dramatically as she entered. Behind her, a group of demonic knights in obsidian armor stood at attention.


    The Demon Lord, Lilia.


    The room fell deathly silent.


    Even the rowdiest adventurers froze in terror.


    But Haruto?


    He just groaned and buried his face in his hands.


    "Not this again."


    Lilia stepped forward, her voice ringing with authority and confidence.


    "Haruto!" she declared. "I have come to make you an offer once more!"


    Haruto sighed. "Lemme guess. You want me to be your general?"


    Lilia flipped her hair back elegantly. "Not just my general." She took a dramatic step forward, her eyes burning with intensity.


    "Be my husband!"


    Silence.


    Dead silence.


    Then¡ª


    Chaos.


    Adventurers choked on their drinks. A rogue in the back actually fainted. Claire, the receptionist, slammed her hands on the counter so hard she cracked the wood.


    "H-h-h-Husband?!" Claire shrieked.


    Haruto sighed, already feeling the migraine coming. "Lilia, we''ve talked about this."


    Lilia pouted. "And I rejected your rejection!"


    "That''s... not how this works."


    "Of course it is!" she declared. "A man of your power should not be wasting away in unemployment! You deserve to be at my side, ruling as my King!"


    Haruto rubbed his temples. "I don''t want to be a king. I just want a normal job."


    Lilia looked genuinely confused. "Why would you want that?"


    "Because a normal job means a normal life!" Haruto snapped. "No wars, no world-ending disasters, no responsibilities! Just peaceful days, good food, and enough money to not starve!"


    Lilia stared at him.


    Then she raised a hand, and a mountain of gold coins appeared behind her.


    "Here. Infinite wealth. Problem solved. Now be my husband."


    Haruto sighed deeply. "...That''s not the point."


    Claire grabbed Haruto''s sleeve, her eye twitching. "Wait. You''re telling me you could have been ruling the demon continent this whole time, but instead you''re trying to work as a low-level adventurer?!"


    "YES, BECAUSE I WANT A NORMAL LIFE!"


    The entire guild facepalmed.


    One adventurer whispered, "He''s basically refusing to be a king so he can be a minimum-wage worker..."


    Another sighed. "What a waste of talent..."


    Lilia, meanwhile, was not giving up.


    "Haruto," she said, stepping even closer. "I understand your desires. You wish for a peaceful life. But no matter where you go, trouble will always follow. Your power is too great¡ªwhether you embrace it or not, the world will never leave you alone."


    Haruto frowned. "...What''s your point?"


    She smiled. "If chaos follows you anyway, then why not stand beside the one person who truly understands you?"


    Haruto paused.


    That was... actually a good point.


    Before he could think too deeply about it¡ª


    Claire yanked him back behind the counter. "LIKE HELL HE''S GOING WITH YOU!"


    "Claire, let go of my collar."


    "NO! YOU''RE NOT JOINING THE DEMONS!"


    Lilia smirked. "Jealous?"


    Claire''s face turned red. "I-I''M NOT JEALOUS! I JUST DON''T WANT THIS IDIOT TO RUIN EVERYTHING!"


    The guild doors suddenly burst open again.


    This time, a group of royal knights stormed in, led by a beautiful girl with golden hair and sapphire-blue eyes¡ªwearing an ornate white-and-blue dress.


    The Princess.


    "Haruto!" she gasped, out of breath. "Please, reconsider my offer!"


    Lilia''s eyes narrowed. "Your offer?"


    The Princess steeled herself. "Haruto, I am prepared to grant you noble status, a castle, and a position as my personal knight! You don''t have to lower yourself to working!"


    Haruto groaned again.


    More people trying to hire him into things he didn''t want.


    "WHY IS IT SO HARD TO JUST GET A NORMAL JOB?!"

 Chapter 2: A Man Too Powerful for Minimum Wage

    Haruto sighed, staring at the two powerful women arguing over him in the middle of the Adventurer''s Guild like he was some rare collectible.


    On one side, Lilia, the Demon Lord, stood tall with her arms crossed, her crimson eyes burning with absolute confidence. She had already declared him her future husband¡ªwithout bothering to ask if he wanted to be.


    On the other, Princess Emilia of the Holy Kingdom, golden-haired and equally stubborn, had just offered him noble status, a castle, and a high-ranking job as her knight.


    And in between them?


    Haruto.


    Broke. Unemployed. Suffering.


    "Why does this keep happening to me?" he muttered under his breath.


    Claire, the tsundere guild receptionist, smacked a ledger onto the counter. "Because you''re an idiot."


    Haruto scowled. "How is any of this my fault?"


    Claire gestured aggressively. "You''ve got god-tier skills, infinite mana, and literally every combat ability maxed out! But instead of using them, you''re sitting here trying to apply for minimum-wage jobs!"


    "Because I just want a normal life!" Haruto snapped.


    Claire groaned, dragging a hand down her face.


    Meanwhile, the Demon Lord and the Princess were still going at it.


    "You''re wasting your breath, Princess," Lilia smirked. "Haruto is already mine."


    "Absolutely not!" Emilia shot back. "I refuse to let him fall into demonic hands!"


    "I refuse to let him waste away in human mediocrity!"


    "He will be a hero of the kingdom!"


    "He will be the Demon King''s consort!"


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    Haruto''s eye twitched.


    "Will anyone ask what I want?" he muttered.


    "NO!" Both girls snapped at the same time.


    Haruto groaned.


    The Adventurer''s Guild Breaks Again


    Just as the argument hit its peak, the guild doors swung open again.


    A ragged-looking merchant stumbled inside, panting like he had just run across the entire continent. His fancy robes were half-burned, and he looked terrified out of his mind.


    "P-Please! I need to hire an adventurer¡ªANY adventurer!" the merchant gasped.


    Haruto''s ears perked up. A job? An actual job?!


    Before anyone else could respond, he stepped forward immediately. "I''ll do it."


    The merchant blinked. "H-Huh?"


    "I''ll take the job," Haruto repeated. "What do you need done?"


    Claire immediately slammed a rejection stamp onto the counter. "NO."


    Haruto snapped his head around. "WHY?!"


    The merchant looked between them, confused. "Um¡­ what''s happening?"


    Claire crossed her arms. "I am not letting you take another quest."


    Haruto threw up his hands. "Oh, come on! You won''t let me register as an adventurer, you won''t let me do manual labor, you won''t even let me be a freaking baker because I accidentally burned down a shop! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!"


    Claire didn''t blink. "Be someone else''s problem."


    "WHOSE?!"


    The merchant, still lost, cleared his throat. "I-I mean, I really do need help..."


    Claire shot him a deadly look.


    The merchant sweated bullets. "B-But! Maybe not from him...?"


    Haruto felt his soul leaving his body.


    He was so unemployed, people would rather be murdered than hire him.


    The Mission (That He''s Not Allowed to Take)


    Ignoring the chaos, the merchant took a deep breath and explained his problem.


    His caravan had been ambushed by a rogue dragon, and he needed someone to retrieve the high-value cargo that had been left behind.


    "A dragon?" One of the adventurers whistled. "That''s an A-rank threat, minimum."


    "Y-Yes!" the merchant nodded rapidly. "That''s why I need the best of the best!"


    Haruto immediately raised a hand. "I''ll handle it."


    "NO." Claire slammed her hands on the counter again.


    Haruto clenched his fists. "What is your problem?!"


    Claire jabbed a finger at him. "Do you remember the last time you took a quest?"


    Haruto blinked. "Uh..."


    Flashback to Two Weeks Ago¡ª


    Haruto had taken a simple goblin subjugation quest.


    Somehow, a single flick of a pebble had triggered:


    A mountain collapse


    A localized earthquake


    The complete extinction of all goblins in a 50-mile radius


    The Guild had been so horrified that they banned him on the spot.


    End of Flashback.


    Haruto coughed. "...That was an accident."


    Claire narrowed her eyes. "You destroyed an entire species by accident.


    "They could''ve dodged," Haruto mumbled.


    "THEY DIDN''T HAVE TIME TO DODGE, YOU OBLITERATED THEM."


    The entire guild stared at him in horror.


    Even Lilia, the Demon Lord, looked impressed.


    Haruto sighed. "Fine. Then let someone else go."


    The merchant hesitated. "W-Well¡­ the thing is¡­"


    Claire raised an eyebrow. "What?"


    The merchant gulped. "W-We already sent two different adventurer parties to handle it¡­ and they haven''t returned."


    The guild fell silent.


    Haruto tilted his head. "So, basically¡ª"


    "They''re all probably dead."


    More silence.


    Finally, Claire let out a long, exhausted groan.


    "...Ugh. Fine. Haruto, you''re banned from taking official quests, but if you happen to be in the area and accidentally kill a dragon, I legally can''t stop you."


    Haruto grinned. "Got it."


    And So, the Chaos Continues¡­


    Lilia clapped her hands together. "Excellent! We can turn this into a battle date!"


    Haruto frowned. "A what?"


    "You''ll slay the dragon, I''ll admire your strength, and then we''ll share a romantic meal under the moonlight before returning to my castle for our wedding night."


    "...I''m just here for the paycheck."


    Princess Emilia grabbed Haruto''s sleeve. "Wait! If you''re going to fight a dragon, you should at least do it in the name of the kingdom!"


    Claire threw up her hands. "Oh, for the love of¡ªHE''S JUST DOING A SIDE JOB!"


    Haruto rubbed his temples.


    This was supposed to be a simple job.


    And yet, somehow¡­


    It had already turned into another nightmare.


    ---

 Chapter 3: Accidentally Beating Up a Dragon Emperor?!

    Haruto had one goal¡ªget the merchant''s cargo, deal with the dragon, and finally earn some money.


    Instead, he was now standing in the middle of a scorched battlefield, staring up at a massive, burning-gold dragon whose very existence radiated overwhelming dominance.


    The Dragon Emperor


    ¡­And she looked pissed.


    "You dare intrude upon my domain, human?" Her voice rumbled like thunder.


    Haruto sighed. "Oh, great. She can talk. That means this is about to get complicated."


    Lilia, standing beside him, grinned. "Ooooh, this is perfect! Haruto, slay the beast! Show me your overwhelming might!"


    "I''d rather not, thanks."


    Lilia pouted. "Why not? You''ve already wiped out goblin tribes and accidentally ruined ecosystems."


    "First of all, those were accidents. Second, I''m not fighting a dragon for free."


    The massive dragon''s glowing golden eyes narrowed. "You refuse to battle me?"


    Haruto crossed his arms. "Yeah, actually. I just came to grab some cargo and leave. So, uh, can you move?"


    The ground shook as the dragon''s aura intensified.


    "You insult me," she growled. "I am not some lesser beast. I am Emberis, Dragon Emperor of the Eternal Flame. You will not simply walk away!"


    Haruto sighed. "Of course she has a long, dramatic title."


    The merchant who hired him was trembling behind a boulder. "P-Please! We just need the goods! I-I''ll even pay extra!"


    Haruto''s ears perked up. "Extra, huh?"


    Lilia raised an eyebrow. "Wait, now you''re interested?"


    "Hey, money is money."


    The dragon let out a low, menacing laugh. "So, you do have some warrior''s pride after all."


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    Haruto scratched his head. "Nah, I just need rent money."


    Emberis'' massive tail slammed down, shaking the ground. "Enough talk. If you wish to take what is mine, you must prove your worth in battle!"


    Haruto vs. The Dragon Emperor


    Haruto let out a deep sigh.


    "I really don''t wanna do this," he muttered.


    Lilia beamed. "Too late! The battle has begun!"


    Emberis roared, her wings spreading wide as golden flames erupted around her. The sheer heat melted the ground around them.


    Most adventurers would be terrified.


    Haruto?


    He just looked mildly annoyed.


    "Can we not make a huge mess?" he muttered. "I don''t wanna have to pay property damage fees."


    Emberis snarled. "You underestimate me, human!"


    Her massive claws came crashing down¡ªonly for Haruto to casually step aside, dodging effortlessly.


    She swiped again.


    Haruto yawned and ducked.


    A blast of golden fire erupted toward him.


    Haruto raised a hand and smacked it away like a baseball.


    The flames dispersed into thin air.


    Emberis froze.


    Lilia clapped excitedly. "Oh! She realized!"


    Haruto dusted off his sleeves. "Look, I keep telling people¡ªI don''t wanna fight."


    The dragon''s massive eyes trembled as she processed what had just happened.


    "You¡­" Her voice shook. "You¡­ punched away my flames."


    "Yeah, that happens sometimes."


    "You didn''t even flinch."


    "Didn''t really feel it."


    Her massive wings trembled. "T-Then what about this?!"


    She charged her ultimate attack¡ªa planet-scorching golden firestorm, the kind that could wipe out armies.


    Haruto sighed and flicked a small pebble at her.


    The moment it tapped her scales¡ª


    BOOOOOM.


    A massive shockwave blasted through the entire canyon.


    The sky split in half.


    A nearby mountain crumbled to dust.


    The golden firestorm vanished instantly.


    And Emberis?


    The Dragon Emperor of Eternal Flame was sent flying so fast she broke the sound barrier¡ªcrashing into a distant mountain with a deafening BOOM.


    ¡­Silence.


    Even Lilia stared in shock. "Okay, even I wasn''t expecting that."


    Haruto let out a long, exhausted sigh. "See? This is why I didn''t wanna fight. Things always get out of hand."


    Lilia grinned. "I love that about you."


    Haruto pinched the bridge of his nose. "That wasn''t a compliment."


    The Aftermath (Or So He Thought)


    Just as he was about to walk away, the mountain rumbled.


    Then¡ªBOOM.


    A massive golden blur shot through the air, landing right in front of him.


    Emberis had transformed.


    Now, instead of a massive dragon, she stood as a tall, curvy woman with glowing golden eyes and wild flame-colored hair. A tight black-and-gold outfit wrapped around her, exuding a regal, commanding presence.


    And yet¡ª


    Her expression was completely different.


    She was blushing.


    Haruto blinked. "...What?"


    Emberis stared at him with wide, starstruck eyes.


    "You¡­ you''re the strongest being I''ve ever met."


    Haruto frowned. "Uh¡­ okay?"


    Then she did something he wasn''t expecting.


    She dropped to one knee.


    "Please, let me be yours!"


    Silence.


    Haruto''s brain shut down.


    Lilia gasped. "No way! Not another one!"


    The merchant¡ªwho had witnessed everything¡ªimmediately passed out.


    Haruto took a deep breath. "Okay. Let''s rewind."


    "Did I just accidentally recruit a Dragon Emperor into my harem?"


    Lilia grinned. "Yes! Yes, you did!"


    Emberis nodded firmly. "You have bested me. By dragon law, I am now your loyal mate."


    Haruto felt his soul leave his body.


    He rubbed his temples. This was getting out of control.


    First, the Demon Lord. Then, a Princess. Now, a Dragon Emperor.


    And all three of them had one thing in common: they were all insane.


    "...Why do I only attract weirdos?"


    Lilia smirked. "Because normal women can''t handle you."


    Haruto groaned.


    He just wanted a job.


    Instead, he was becoming the accidental ruler of all wierdos this fantasy world have...

 Chapter 4: My Wallet Got Stolen, and Somehow That’s My Fault?!

    Haruto sighed as he walked through the bustling gates of Goldcrest City, his newest headache trailing right behind him.


    After somehow¡ªsomehow¡ªdefeating Emberis, the Dragon Emperor, he thought things couldn''t get worse.


    He was wrong.


    Because now, Emberis had joined his problem list.


    [check] The Demon Lord Lilia, who kept proposing.


    [check] The Princess Emilia, who wanted him as her royal knight.


    [check] The Dragon Emperor Emberis, who now called him ''mate.''


    And now, after walking for hours to get back to civilization, he was finally back in town¡ªmentally, emotionally, and financially exhausted.


    Which was when he got robbed.


    "Alright," Haruto muttered. "First thing I''m gonna do when we get to the guild¡ª"


    A soft bump.


    Haruto barely registered the feeling of someone brushing past him. It was smooth. Casual. Too subtle for an ordinary person to notice.


    But Haruto?


    He definitely noticed.


    His hand immediately went to his pocket.


    Empty.


    "...Wait."


    He froze.


    Checked again.


    His wallet was gone.


    "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Haruto yelled, causing half the city to turn and stare.


    The others blinked.


    "Wait," Lilia said, tilting her head. "Did¡­ someone just rob you?"


    Emberis frowned. "How is that possible? You''re the strongest being I''ve ever seen."


    Haruto checked every pocket again.


    Still gone.


    "I DON''T KNOW!" Haruto yelled. "BUT SOMEONE DID!"


    The entire street fell silent as everyone processed what just happened.


    The man who could punch away flames.


    The man who erased goblins from existence.


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    The man who one-shot the Dragon Emperor.


    Just got pickpocketed.


    Lilia clutched her stomach, bursting into laughter. "Pfft¡ªhahahaha! Oh, this is priceless!"


    The Princess looked embarrassed. "H-Haruto, are you sure you didn''t just¡­ misplace it?"


    "OF COURSE I DIDN''T MISPLACE IT!" Haruto snapped. "Someone literally swiped it while I was walking!"


    Emberis crossed her arms. "Impressive. This thief must be highly skilled to steal from you of all people."


    "NOT A COMPLIMENT!"


    Claire, who had been waiting for them at the guild entrance, sighed and rubbed her temples. "You are so much work."


    Introducing¡­ the Problematic Cat-Girl Thief


    A voice called from the rooftops.


    "You snooze, you lose, big guy!"


    Everyone''s heads snapped up to see a small, agile figure perched on a wooden beam above the street.


    A cat-girl thief.


    She had short silver hair, golden eyes, and sharp little fangs peeking out from her mischievous grin. A black scarf covered her mouth, and her brown leather thief''s outfit blended into the shadows.


    And in her hand?


    Haruto''s wallet.


    Haruto''s eye twitched. "...You."


    The cat-girl winked. "Me~!"


    Lilia grinned. "Oh, I like her already."


    The Princess clutched her head. "Not another one..."


    Emberis stared in awe. "She moves with the grace of a seasoned predator¡­ Fascinating."


    Haruto, completely done, pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why is this happening?"


    The cat-girl tossed his wallet in the air and caught it again. "Sorry, big guy. You were just walking around, making it too easy. Can''t blame a girl for earning a living!"


    "That''s MY living!" Haruto snapped.


    The thief grinned. "Finders keepers~"


    Haruto took a deep breath. "Alright. Fine. Hand it over, and I won''t vaporize you."


    She pretended to think. "Mmm¡­ Nah."


    Lilia laughed. "She''s got guts! I really like her!"


    The Princess looked horrified. "Please don''t encourage her!"


    Haruto sighed. "Alright. Guess we''re doing this the hard way."


    Haruto vs. The Cat-Girl (Which Isn''t Even a Fight)


    The cat-girl leaped into action, flipping through the air with inhuman agility.


    She dashed across the rooftops, vanishing into the labyrinth of buildings like a shadow.


    Any normal adventurer? Completely lost.


    Haruto?


    He just walked forward.


    "Yeah, no," he muttered, vanishing from sight.


    A half-second later, he reappeared right in front of the cat-girl, blocking her path.


    She skidded to a stop, eyes wide. "Wha¡ª?!"


    Haruto snatched his wallet back.


    "Mine."


    The cat-girl froze, completely caught off guard. "Wait. WHAT?! How did you¡ª?!"


    Haruto gave her a blank stare. "Did you forget I''m broken?"


    She blinked. Looked at her now-empty hands. Then back at him.


    Then she burst out laughing.


    "Pfft¡ªHahaha! You''re fun, big guy!"


    Haruto rolled his eyes. "Oh, great. Another weirdo."


    Somehow, She Joins the Group Anyway


    Instead of running, the cat-girl stuck around.


    Which was concerning.


    "Alright, I got my wallet back," Haruto muttered. "Now shoo."


    The cat-girl grinned wider. "Nah."


    Haruto frowned. "What do you mean, nah?"


    "I like you."


    Haruto felt dread creeping in.


    "...Define ''like''."


    The thief winked. "You''re strong, you''re fast, and you''re loaded."


    "I''M BROKE!"


    She shrugged. "Eh, you''re strong. That''s close enough to being rich."


    Lilia nodded approvingly. "Good logic."


    The Princess looked mortified. "Horrible logic!"


    Emberis studied the cat-girl. "Hmm¡­ You''re quite an interesting creature. Agile, cunning, and fearless. I approve."


    Haruto''s soul left his body.


    "Wait. No. No approvals."


    The cat-girl stretched her arms lazily. "Welp, looks like I''m joining the gang. You got room for one more?"


    "No," Haruto said instantly.


    Lilia smirked. "Yes."


    The Princess sighed. "Unfortunately, yes¡­"


    Haruto threw up his hands. "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!"


    The cat-girl grinned, tail swishing playfully. "Name''s Fel by the way. Pleasure doing business, boss~"


    Haruto''s eye twitched. "I''m not your boss."


    Fel leaned in closer, fangs glinting. "We''ll see about that~"


    Haruto groaned.


    Another day.


    Another weirdo.


    Another headache.

 Chapter 5: I Got Paid, So I’m Running Away From These Weirdos

    After a long, exhausting day of accidental battles, unwanted marriage proposals, and getting robbed, Haruto finally stood in front of the Merchant Guild to claim his reward.


    The merchant who hired him was practically crying tears of joy.


    "Sir Haruto!" The merchant grasped his hands with shaking gratitude. "You have done a great service in recovering my lost cargo!"


    "Uh-huh," Haruto muttered, trying to yank his hands free.


    "You saved my livelihood! You protected the trade routes! You defeated a DRAGON EMPEROR!"


    "It wasn''t on purpose," Haruto grumbled.


    The merchant ignored him. "Such strength, such skill! Truly, you must be the reincarnation of an ancient hero!"


    "Buddy, I just want my paycheck."


    "Ah! Of course! Your reward!"


    The merchant snapped his fingers, and a group of workers dragged out a massive chest filled with gold coins.


    Haruto''s eyes sparkled.


    Finally.


    Finally, he wasn''t broke.


    Finally, he could get a room at an inn, eat a proper meal, and¡ªmost importantly¡ªescape this madness.


    "Thank you," Haruto said, grabbing the heavy chest with one hand like it was made of feathers. "I''ll be on my way¡ª"


    "Wait!"


    Haruto''s stomach dropped.


    Here it comes.


    He turned around very slowly to see Lilia, the Demon Lord, Princess Emilia, Emberis, the Dragon Emperor, and Fel, the cat-girl thief, all staring at him.


    If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    ¡­This was bad.


    Lilia grinned. "Where are you going, dear husband?"


    Haruto twitched. "I''M NOT YOUR HUSBAND."


    Princess Emilia stepped forward. "If you need a place to stay, the royal palace has plenty of luxurious rooms!"


    "I don''t need a place to stay!"


    Emberis crossed her arms. "If you seek solitude, my volcanic fortress offers the finest battle chambers."


    "I''M NOT LOOKING FOR A BATTLE CHAMBER!"


    Fel smirked. "So what, you''re just gonna grab your gold and ditch us?"


    Haruto froze.


    That was exactly what he was going to do.


    Fel''s eyes narrowed. "You totally were, weren''t you?"


    Haruto broke into a cold sweat. "W-What? No! Pfft. That''d be rude."


    Lilia''s eyes sparkled ominously. "It''s fine, dear husband! We''ll come with you!"


    "NO, YOU WON''T."


    It was time to run.


    Haruto''s Grand Escape Plan (That Fails Instantly)


    Haruto''s brain switched to survival mode.


    Step 1: Casually walk away.


    Step 2: Disappear into the nearest alley.


    Step 3: Ditch these lunatics and live a peaceful life.


    With the most forced, casual expression, Haruto turned around and walked away.


    "Welp, nice seeing you guys! Guess I''ll go enjoy my reward¡ªBY MYSELF!"


    And then he vanished.


    Literally.


    The moment Haruto took a step, he used Stealth MAX, Speed MAX, and Evasion MAX at the same time.


    To normal people, he would have instantly disappeared.


    To these weirdos?


    They saw everything.


    Attempt #1: Alleyway Escape (Failure)


    Haruto darted into a dark alleyway, weaving through tight spaces between buildings.


    They''ll never find me here.


    "Found him!"


    Haruto froze.


    Fel was already there, grinning. "Nice try, boss. You can''t out-stealth a thief."


    Haruto sprinted in the opposite direction.


    Attempt #2: Rooftop Escape (Failure)


    Haruto leaped onto the rooftops, dashing at inhuman speeds across the city skyline.


    No one''s catching me up here¡ª


    BOOM!


    A massive fireball exploded in front of him.


    Haruto skidded to a stop.


    Emberis landed gracefully on the roof ahead, arms crossed. "Running away from your mate? Unacceptable."


    Haruto jumped to the next rooftop¡ª


    BOOM!


    Another fireball.


    Emberis smirked. "Give up, little human."


    Haruto turned around.


    Fel was already behind him.


    Trapped.


    Haruto narrowed his eyes. "Okay. New plan."


    Attempt #3: Underground Escape (Failure)


    Haruto jumped off the roof and dashed into the city''s underground sewer tunnels.


    Nobody would follow him down here.


    SPLASH.


    Haruto turned.


    Lilia was already standing in the tunnel, glowing red eyes staring at him.


    "...How?" Haruto whispered.


    Lilia smiled sweetly. "You really thought you could run from me?"


    Haruto sighed. "Of course I did. Why wouldn''t I?"


    Lilia tilted her head. "You can''t escape me, dear husband. You''ll always be mine."


    Haruto sprinted in the other direction.


    Final Attempt: Bribery (Failure)


    Haruto burst out of the sewer, completely out of breath.


    The girls were already waiting.


    Fel grinned. "That was fun."


    Emberis nodded. "You are a fine prey, indeed."


    Princess Emilia looked disappointed. "You could have just asked for space, you know¡­"


    Haruto dropped to his knees. "I just¡­ wanted a quiet life¡­"


    Lilia patted his head. "Silly Haruto. That''s never going to happen."


    Haruto suddenly had an idea.


    He grabbed a handful of gold coins from his chest and held them out.


    "...What if I bribe you all to leave me alone?"


    The group stared at the gold.


    For a second¡ªjust a brief second¡ªHaruto thought he had won.


    Then¡ª


    Fel snatched the coins. "Nice try, boss."


    Lilia smirked. "I already own an entire kingdom."


    Emberis laughed. "Dragons have no need for currency."


    Princess Emilia sighed. "I''m a princess, Haruto¡­"


    Haruto collapsed onto the ground.


    "...I''m never getting rid of you, am I?"


    Lilia hugged his arm. "Nope~!"


    Fel leaned against him. "Never."


    Emberis grinned. "You are mine, little human."


    The Princess blushed and looked away.


    Haruto stared at the sky.


    He finally had gold, food, and shelter.


    And yet¡ª


    He had never been more exhausted in his life.

 Chapter 6: If You Can’t Escape, Fake Your Own Death!

    Haruto had tried everything to escape.


    [check] Running away at superhuman speeds? Caught.


    [check] Hiding in the sewers? Found instantly.


    [check] Bribery? Completely useless.


    Now, Haruto sat slumped on a bench in the middle of Goldcrest City, completely defeated.


    His gold reward sat next to him in a heavy chest.


    His sanity was long gone.


    And surrounding him, like a group of smug, victorious hunters, were his worst nightmare.


    [check] Lilia, the yandere Demon Lord¡ªgrinning because she loved his suffering.


    [check] Princess Emilia, the flustered royal¡ªwho was trying to convince him to be a knight.


    [check] Emberis, the battle-crazed Dragon Emperor¡ªwho had somehow claimed him as her mate.


    [check] Fel, the mischievous cat-girl thief¡ªwho kept picking his pockets just to mess with him.


    He had nowhere left to run.


    ¡­Or did he?


    The Final Plan: FAKE. HIS. DEATH.


    Haruto''s brain activated survival mode.


    If he couldn''t escape, then he had to make them think he was gone forever.


    Step 1: Create a realistic fake body.


    Step 2: Make it look like he died in a tragic accident.


    Step 3: Secretly disappear to a peaceful village.


    Step 4: Live as a normal person.


    Lilia and the others were still arguing over him.


    Perfect.


    Haruto casually reached into his sleeve, activating "Instant Corpse Creation MAX"¡ªa skill that was so specific, he had no idea why he even had it.


    With a flick of his wrist¡ª


    This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    POOF!


    An exact copy of his own dead body appeared on the ground.


    His head lolled sideways. His body went limp.


    Haruto instantly activated Stealth MAX and vanished.


    Haruto: Successfully Escaped (¡­or so he thought)


    "Haruto?" Lilia asked.


    No response.


    She turned.


    Her eyes widened.


    "WAIT. WHY IS THERE A DEAD BODY?!"


    Princess Emilia gasped. "D-DID HE JUST DIE?!"


    Emberis stared in shock. "That¡­ that shouldn''t be possible."


    Fel poked the body''s face. "Huh. He''s really dead."


    Lilia''s entire aura exploded in rage.


    "NO." Her eyes glowed dangerously. "NO. NO. NO. I REFUSE."


    She knelt down and grabbed his corpse.


    "This is a lie," she whispered. "My dear husband is not allowed to die."


    The ground shook.


    The air turned heavy.


    Lilia''s demonic energy flared, cracking the pavement beneath her feet.


    The entire city trembled.


    "Haruto, if you think you can leave me by dying," Lilia whispered darkly, "I WILL REVIVE YOU MYSELF."


    Haruto, who was hiding in an alley, broke into a cold sweat.


    Oh crap, she''s about to do something insane.


    Lilia raised her hands. "FORBIDDEN MAGIC: SOUL RESTORATION!"


    Dark magic exploded from the sky.


    Princess Emilia screamed. "WAIT, WAIT, THAT''S ILLEGAL MAGIC¡ª"


    A terrifying shadow loomed over the entire city.


    Lightning cracked across the sky.


    The statues in the plaza crumbled to dust.


    Haruto panicked.


    "WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, I''M ALIVE! I''M ALIVE!"


    Before the spell could activate, Haruto jumped out of hiding, waving his arms wildly.


    Everyone froze.


    A long silence.


    Then¡ª


    Princess Emilia''s eye twitched.


    "...So you mean to tell me," she whispered, "that you faked your death just to get away from us?"


    Haruto slowly backed away. "...Maybe?"


    Emberis laughed. "HAHA! Now THAT is a warrior''s trick!"


    Lilia, meanwhile, cracked her knuckles.


    "Oh, my love," she said sweetly. "I will make sure you never try that again."


    Fel whistled. "Oooooh, you''re in trouble, boss."


    Haruto turned to run.


    Lilia grabbed his collar.


    He was not going anywhere.


    Haruto Learns a Painful Lesson


    Thirty minutes later, Haruto sat at a tavern table, sulking.


    His "Fake Death Plan" had been a complete disaster.


    Fel was stealing food from his plate.


    Emberis was watching him like a predator.


    Princess Emilia was lecturing him about responsibility.


    Lilia was smugly enjoying his suffering.


    Haruto slumped forward.


    "...So what do I have to do to get a normal life?" he muttered.


    Lilia smiled. "Simple, dear husband! Marry me!"


    Haruto grabbed a fork and stabbed the table.


    "I AM NOT MARRYING YOU!"


    Fel grinned. "Relax, boss. With all of us around, life''s never gonna be boring!"


    "THAT''S THE PROBLEM!"


    Princess Emilia sighed. "You should accept reality, Haruto¡­"


    Haruto shook his head.


    No.


    He refused to accept this.


    He would find a way to escape these lunatics.


    Even if it was the last thing he did.


    ---

 Chapter 7: I Finally Escaped! Time for My Quiet Life… Right?

    Haruto had done it.


    After weeks of suffering, countless failed escape attempts, and daily harassment, he had vanished from Goldcrest City without a trace.


    No Demon Lord stalking him.


    No Dragon Emperor calling him "mate."


    No Princess trying to knight him.


    No cat-girl thief constantly emptying his pockets.


    Just peace.


    Now, Haruto sat on the porch of his new home, sipping a warm cup of tea as he watched the sunset over the quiet countryside.


    Birds chirped in the trees.


    The gentle breeze rustled the wheat fields.


    Somewhere in the distance, a farmer herded his cows.


    A deep calm settled over Haruto''s soul.


    "...Hahhhhh," he exhaled, stretching his arms.


    "This is the life."


    No explosions.


    No surprise proposals.


    No random duels breaking out in the middle of breakfast.


    For the first time since getting isekai''d, Haruto felt free.


    The Great Escape: How He Actually Pulled It Off


    It had taken three months of planning.


    Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.


    Step 1: Create a distraction.


    Haruto tricked Lilia, Emberis, Fel, and Emilia into chasing a "mystical treasure" in the mountains.


    By the time they realized the treasure didn''t exist, he was already long gone.


    Step 2: Erase his tracks.


    Stealth MAX.


    Illusion Magic MAX.


    Fake diary entries suggesting he had left the continent.


    Step 3: Find a peaceful village where nobody knows him.


    Duskwood Village, a sleepy farming town in the middle of nowhere.


    He bought a small cottage under a fake name.


    He dressed like a regular villager and avoided adventurer guilds.


    Life as a Regular Guy


    For three months, Haruto enjoyed the simple life.


    His daily routine?


    [?] Wake up late.


    [?] Drink tea on the porch.


    [?] Do a little farm work to blend in.


    [?] Ignore any adventurer requests.


    [?] Sleep without fear of getting kidnapped.


    No crazy women.


    No world-ending battles.


    No people begging him to rule kingdoms.


    "Finally," Haruto muttered, stretching out. "I win."


    Little did he know¡ª


    His peace was already doomed.


    ---


    Meanwhile¡­ Back in Goldcrest City


    Lilia''s fists trembled as she slammed her hands onto the table.


    "He''s gone."


    Princess Emilia blinked. "What do you mean¡­ gone?"


    "I MEAN HE DISAPPEARED OFF THE FACE OF THE PLANET!"


    Fel tilted her head. "Ooooh, so the boss actually ran away this time?"


    "YES!" Lilia growled. "And he did a damn good job of it!"


    Emberis grinned. "Interesting. My little human is proving to be quite the challenge."


    Lilia''s red eyes burned with frustration.


    "No footprints. No mana signature. Not even a single trace of his soul left behind for tracking magic!"


    Emilia sighed. "Maybe we should respect his decision?"


    Lilia and Emberis slowly turned to her.


    Emilia sweated. "...O-Or not?"


    Lilia''s voice dropped to a chilling whisper.


    "Oh, my love¡­ if you think you can run from me¡­"


    A dark aura pulsed around her.


    "I will always find you."


    Fel grinned. "This is gonna be fun."


    ---


    Back in Duskwood Village


    Haruto sighed happily as he stretched out in his chair.


    Three months. Three months of pure peace.


    Not a single explosion.


    Not a single sword duel.


    Not a single unwanted proposal.


    "They''ll never find me here," he muttered with a satisfied grin.


    And then¡ª


    A loud crash echoed from the village entrance.


    Haruto''s entire body went cold.


    The ground shook slightly.


    The air grew tense.


    Then, a terrifyingly familiar voice rang out.


    "HAAAAAARUTOOOOOOO~!"


    Haruto''s soul left his body.


    Slowly¡­ mechanically¡­ he turned toward the village entrance.


    There, standing in the middle of the dirt road, was Lilia, the Demon Lord.


    Her crimson eyes gleamed with victory.


    Her smile was wide, teasing, and dangerous.


    "I found you, dear husband~!"


    Behind her¡ª


    [check] Princess Emilia, looking mildly guilty but determined.


    [check] Emberis, arms crossed, looking far too amused.


    [check] Fel, already stealing apples from a nearby stall.


    Haruto''s entire being screamed in terror.


    "HOW DID YOU FIND ME?!"


    Lilia smirked. "Darling, you should know by now¡­"


    She stepped forward, voice dripping with amusement.


    "No matter where you run¡­"


    She leaned in closer, whispering in his ear¡ª


    "I will always find you."


    Haruto internally screamed.


    "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA¡ª"

 Chapter 8: No Matter Where I Run, They Keep Finding Me?!

    Haruto''s entire body screamed one word.


    RUN.


    Lilia, the yandere Demon Lord, was standing right in front of him.


    Behind her, Princess Emilia, Emberis the Dragon Emperor, and Fel the cat-girl thief were all waiting expectantly.


    They had found him.


    After three months of silence, peace, and freedom¡ª


    It was all over.


    Haruto turned on his heel and BOLTED.


    Attempt #1: Sprinting at Superhuman Speeds


    "GET BACK HERE, HUSBAND!" Lilia''s voice echoed across the village.


    "NOOOOOO!" Haruto screamed as he ran faster than the wind.


    Stealth MAX. Speed MAX. Agility MAX.


    He vanished into the trees, leaping across rivers and blurring past the mountains.


    Gone. Untraceable. Perfect escape.


    Or so he thought.


    CRACK!


    The ground exploded beneath his feet.


    Haruto barely dodged as a massive fireball detonated in front of him.


    Emberis dropped from the sky, landing in his path.


    "You dare flee from me, little human?" She licked her lips, golden eyes flashing. "Oh, this is exciting."


    Haruto skidded to a stop.


    "HOW DID YOU GET HERE SO FAST?!"


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    Emberis tilted her head. "I followed your scent, of course."


    Haruto''s soul shattered.


    "Wait. You can TRACK ME BY SMELL?!"


    "A dragon never loses her prey." Emberis grinned. "Now, come back quietly, or we can continue this little chase."


    Haruto turned and ran the other way.


    Attempt #2: Hiding in the Forest (Instant Failure)


    Haruto slipped into the dense woods, activating Stealth MAX, Presence Concealment MAX, and Illusion Magic MAX.


    He was invisible.


    Undetectable.


    A ghost.


    He hid inside a hollow tree, holding his breath.


    Silence.


    For a moment¡ªjust a moment¡ªhe thought he was safe.


    Then¡ª


    "Found him~!"


    Haruto''s heart stopped.


    A pair of golden cat-like eyes stared at him from inside the tree.


    "...HOW?!"


    Fel grinned, lounging comfortably inside the hollow trunk. "You can''t out-stealth a thief, boss~!"


    Haruto screamed internally.


    Attempt #3: Disguising Himself (Lasted Five Seconds)


    Haruto stormed into a small town, ripping a cloak off a clothing line.


    Disguise Mode: Activated.


    He hunched over, adjusting his fake mustache.


    They''ll never recognize me like this.


    "Haruto, what are you doing."


    Haruto''s entire body froze.


    He turned very slowly.


    Princess Emilia stood right there, arms crossed.


    "...How?" Haruto whispered.


    Emilia sighed. "Haruto, you''re the only person in the world who wears a mustache over a hood."


    Haruto ripped the mustache off and sprinted away.


    Attempt #4: Jumping into a River (Didn''t Even Work)


    Haruto dived into the nearest river.


    Water rushed over him as he activated "Aqua Breath MAX" to stay hidden.


    No way they''d find him here.


    "Oh, my love¡­"


    Haruto''s blood ran cold.


    Lilia was standing on the riverbank, staring right at him.


    "HOW?!" Haruto spluttered, spitting out water.


    Lilia smiled sweetly. "A wife always knows where her husband is~!"


    Haruto let the current take him.


    Maybe drowning would be easier.


    ---


    Haruto''s Absolute Defeat


    One hour later, Haruto sat back in his village house, surrounded by the girls who ruined his life.


    His face was buried in his hands.


    "How."


    Lilia sipped tea calmly. "You can''t escape destiny, dear husband~!"


    Emilia looked apologetic. "You really should stop running, Haruto¡­"


    Fel grinned, tail swishing. "Gotta admit, boss, you tried real hard this time~."


    Emberis leaned back, amused. "I''ve never had such an entertaining hunt."


    Haruto slammed his forehead onto the table.


    "I JUST WANT TO BE A NORMAL GUY."


    "That''s never going to happen." Lilia smiled.


    Haruto cried internally.


    Final Attempt: Faking Amnesia (Fails Immediately)


    Haruto sat up suddenly, eyes blank.


    "...Who are you people?"


    Silence.


    Lilia, Emilia, Emberis, and Fel stared at him.


    "...Haruto," Emilia said flatly.


    Haruto blinked. "I¡­ don''t remember anything."


    More silence.


    Fel snorted. "Is this his last-ditch escape plan?"


    Emberis grinned. "Adorable."


    Lilia walked up and whispered in his ear¡ª


    "Nice try, dear husband~."


    Haruto slammed his forehead onto the table again.

 Chapter 9: I Let Out a Scream So Loud, the Gods Probably Heard Me

    Haruto had been through a lot.


    [?] Survived getting isekai''d.


    [?] Maxed out every stat by accident.


    [?] Got rejected from every normal job.


    [?] Accidentally gained a harem of weirdos.


    [?] Spent three months planning the perfect escape.


    [?] Got caught within five minutes.


    But this¡ª


    This was the final straw.


    Lilia, the yandere Demon Lord, stretched lazily on his couch like she owned the place.


    Emberis, the smug Dragon Emperor, had kicked off her boots and was now claiming a corner of the house.


    Princess Emilia was dusting off a chair and organizing his kitchen like she lived here.


    Fel, the thief, was already stealing his food from the pantry.


    And the worst part?


    They were talking like they were moving in.


    "We''ll all fit comfortably," Emilia said, nodding.


    "Mhm. I''ll take the biggest room," Emberis announced.


    "I call the bed with Haruto~," Lilia sang.


    Haruto froze.


    His brain completely shut down.


    His vision went dark.


    Then¡ª


    It happened.


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    A scream so loud, so absurdly powerful, that it shook the entire village.


    ---


    Haruto Finally Loses It


    "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA¡ª"


    The roof nearly caved in.


    The windows shattered.


    The trees outside bent backward.


    Birds flew off in terror.


    The entire village shook.


    Lilia, Emberis, Fel, and Emilia stared at him.


    Haruto was on his knees, fists clenched, eyes blank.


    "YOU''RE. STAYING. HERE?" he whispered, voice trembling.


    Lilia grinned. "Of course, darling. Where else would we stay?"


    Haruto''s eyelid twitched. "Somewhere NOT HERE?!"


    "That''s not an option," Emberis said smugly. "You are mine, little human. I must be near you."


    Fel swiped another piece of bread. "Yeah, and rent is expensive, so this is perfect~."


    "I will take care of the household duties," Emilia added cheerfully.


    Haruto breathed in.


    Breathed out.


    Then¡ª


    He exploded.


    Haruto''s Ultimate Breakdown: The Full Experience


    "I SPENT THREE MONTHS ESCAPING YOU PEOPLE."


    Haruto grabbed his own hair, eyes wild.


    "I FAKED MY DEATH. I RAN THROUGH A FOREST. I JUMPED INTO A RIVER. I DRESSED LIKE A WEIRD OLD MAN."


    Lilia nodded approvingly. "Yes, yes, and it was adorable~."


    "NOT THE POINT!"


    Haruto grabbed a chair and threw it out the window.


    "I BOUGHT A HOUSE IN A REMOTE VILLAGE. I BLENDED IN. I CHOPPED WOOD LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. I WAS PEACEFUL."


    Fel chewed her bread. "Sounds fake, but okay."


    "I SAT ON MY PORCH AND WATCHED THE SUNSET LIKE A MAN WHO HAD ESCAPED HELL."


    Emberis tilted her head. "Yet here we are."


    "AND NOW YOU''RE ALL MOVING INTO MY HOUSE?!"


    Lilia smiled sweetly. "Yes~."


    Haruto punched the floor.


    "GODS ABOVE. FATE. DESTINY. WHOEVER IS LISTENING. I DEMAND A RECOUNT!"


    Silence.


    The heavens did not answer.


    Haruto slumped against the wall, completely defeated.


    His soul had left his body.


    ---


    The Girls Make It Worse


    "Anyway," Lilia stretched, completely ignoring Haruto''s breakdown. "I''ll take the master bedroom."


    "I will reinforce the house''s structure," Emilia said. "It will be fit for royalty in no time."


    "I will heat the bath with my flames," Emberis added, pleased with herself.


    Fel was already stealing his pillows. "Dibs on the softest bed~."


    Haruto slowly lifted his head.


    "This is a nightmare."


    Lilia patted his shoulder. "Shhh, dear husband. Don''t resist fate."


    Haruto curled into a ball.


    ---


    Haruto''s Last Stand (Complete Failure)


    "Fine!" Haruto snapped, jumping to his feet. "You wanna live here? Fine! But I''m making RULES."


    The girls tilted their heads.


    Haruto grabbed a scroll, dipped a quill in ink, and furiously scribbled.


    House Rules (by Haruto, the only sane person here):


    1. No breaking walls.


    2. No fire inside the house. (Emberis, this means you.)


    3. No stealing my stuff. (Fel, this means you.)


    4. No summoning demons at 3 AM. (Lilia, this means you.)


    5. No trying to make me a prince. (Emilia, this means you.)


    6. No calling me ''husband.''


    7. No fighting inside the house.


    8. No sudden proposals.


    9. No¡ª


    Before he could finish, Lilia took the scroll and burned it to ashes.


    Haruto''s eye twitched violently.


    "...I hate it here."


    ---


    The Final Straw


    Haruto turned to the front door.


    "Fine. You win. I''m leaving."


    "Going where?" Emberis asked, amused.


    "Anywhere that isn''t here."*


    Haruto reached for the doorknob¡ª


    Click.


    It didn''t budge.


    "...Huh?"


    He pulled again.


    Click.


    The door was locked. From the outside.


    Lilia smiled. "Oh, silly me! I may have placed an unbreakable sealing spell on the house~."


    Haruto froze.


    Fel smirked. "Looks like you''re stuck with us, boss~."


    Emberis grinned. "What a delightful development."


    Haruto''s scream shook the heavens once more.

 Chapter 10: I Tried to Escape and Accidentally Started a Cult?!

    Haruto was losing it.


    He was trapped in his own house with four lunatics who had no intention of leaving.


    [?] Demon Lord who thinks she''s his wife.


    [?] Dragon Emperor who thinks she owns him.


    [?] Princess who thinks she''s making him a noble.


    [?] Cat-girl thief who thinks rent is a myth.


    He had screamed.


    He had begged the gods.


    He had tried to leave¡ªonly to find the door magically sealed.


    Now?


    Now it was time for desperate measures.


    ---


    The Master Plan: Escape Through the Chimney


    Haruto crept toward the fireplace, eyes darting between the girls, who were casually making themselves at home.


    Emberis was lounging on the floor like a giant cat.


    Fel was going through his drawers, looking for snacks.


    Emilia was rearranging his furniture.


    Lilia was watching Haruto like a hawk.


    I have one shot at this.


    He climbed into the fireplace, pressing himself against the stone.


    He exhaled slowly.


    Alright. If I can just climb up and get to the roof¡ª


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    Lilia peeked inside. "Darling, what are you doing?"


    "Going up in smoke," Haruto muttered, before activating Speed MAX and launching himself straight up the chimney.


    ---


    Instant Failure


    For exactly three seconds, Haruto was free.


    He shot out of the chimney like a rocket, soaring through the air¡ª


    And then¡ª


    BOOM.


    A magical barrier exploded around the house, sending him flying back down.


    He crashed through the roof, bounced off the table, flipped three times, and landed in a pile of hay outside.


    "Ow."


    "Wow," Fel said, standing over him. "That was kinda impressive."


    Haruto stared at the sky, dead inside.


    ---


    The Villagers Witness the Chaos


    Unfortunately, his little stunt did not go unnoticed.


    A crowd of villagers had gathered, staring at the house in confusion.


    "Is that the new guy?"


    "Why did he just explode out of his own house?"


    "Did the Demon Lord just call him ''husband''?"


    Haruto froze.


    The villagers were whispering.


    "Wait¡­ is he some kind of legendary figure?"


    "That magic barrier was insane! He must be powerful!"


    "Could he be¡­ the chosen one?"


    Haruto''s entire body locked up.


    No. NO. No chosen one nonsense. I just want to be normal.


    "Hey, new guy!" One of the villagers stepped forward. "Who exactly are you?"


    Haruto panicked.


    He had to shut this down immediately.


    "I¡ªI''m just a normal guy!" he blurted. "Just a completely average villager¡ª"


    "WHO CAN FLY?!"


    "AND SURVIVE MAGIC EXPLOSIONS?!"


    "AND HAS A DEMON LORD CALLING HIM ''HUSBAND''?!"


    The villagers gasped.


    "He must be a hidden sage!"


    "Or a fallen god in disguise!"


    "Maybe he''s the reincarnation of the Hero?!"


    "Or a lost prince!"


    Haruto internally screamed.


    ---


    Somehow, He Accidentally Starts a Cult


    Before Haruto could fix things, Lilia stepped forward, smiling proudly.


    "Yes, my dear husband is indeed special~!"


    The villagers collectively lost their minds.


    "HE''S MARRIED TO THE DEMON LORD?!"


    "WHAT IS HAPPENING?!"


    Emberis grinned. "He belongs to me, little humans. You will address him as Lord Haruto."


    Haruto''s soul shattered.


    "NO, THEY WILL NOT!"


    Princess Emilia stepped forward, clapping her hands. "There''s no need for confusion! Haruto is simply¡­ a great leader, beloved by all!"


    "A LEADER?!"


    "IS HE BUILDING A KINGDOM?!"


    Fel snickered, whispering into Haruto''s ear. "Boss, I think you just became a religious figure."


    Haruto''s entire existence collapsed.


    The villagers started bowing.


    "Great Sage Haruto, forgive our ignorance!"


    "Please accept us as your disciples!"


    "We pledge loyalty to Lord Haruto''s rule!"


    "WE WILL FOLLOW YOU FOREVER!"


    Haruto''s brain blue-screened.


    He had tried to escape his harem¡ª


    And somehow¡ª


    He had accidentally started a cult.


    ---


    The Aftermath (Haruto''s Breakdown #287)


    One hour later, Haruto sat in a daze, surrounded by villagers who were now calling themselves "Harutists."


    [?] His peaceful village life? Gone.


    [?] Being a normal guy? Impossible.


    [?] Having a quiet home? Now a religious landmark.


    [?] Not being worshipped? No longer an option.


    Lilia patted his shoulder. "See, darling? You were meant for great things."


    "I HATE THIS," Haruto whispered.


    "Don''t be so dramatic," Emberis chuckled. "It''s only a little cult."


    "A LITTLE CULT?!" Haruto screamed. "I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A FARMER!"


    Fel stole his wallet again. "Not anymore, boss~."


    Princess Emilia sighed, drinking tea. "This escalated quickly¡­"


    Haruto collapsed onto the table.


    There was no escape.

 Chapter 11: I Tried to Hide in a Tree and Accidentally Saved an Elf Queen?!

    Haruto had one goal.


    Escape.


    He didn''t care where he ended up.


    He didn''t care if he had to live in a cave.


    He didn''t care if he had to eat grass for the rest of his life.


    As long as he could get away from the cult, away from his insane harem, and away from being worshipped like a god, he would consider it a victory.


    ---


    Escape Plan: The Legendary Forest


    Haruto bolted through the wilderness, running faster than the eye could see.


    He ignored the "DANGER: DO NOT ENTER!" signs.


    He ignored the ominous, glowing mist.


    He ignored the warnings about how no one who enters the Ancient Elven Forest ever returns.


    "Perfect," Haruto muttered. "If nobody ever returns, they''ll never find me."


    His destination?


    The biggest, thickest, most hidden place in the forest.


    And there, towering above the clouds, was the World Tree.


    A massive, ancient tree so enormous that entire villages could fit inside its roots. Its golden leaves shimmered, and mystical energy pulsed around it.


    Haruto didn''t care.


    "That looks climbable," he muttered. "If I live up there, nobody can find me."


    ---


    Unknowingly Walking Into a Legendary Crisis


    As Haruto approached the World Tree, something felt off.


    The air was heavy.


    The ground was scorched.


    The tree''s golden leaves were dim.


    And in the distance¡ª


    A battle was raging.


    "Huh," Haruto muttered. "Probably should avoid that."


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    He turned to walk the other way.


    Then¡ª


    BOOOOOM!


    A massive explosion sent a figure flying toward him.


    WHAM!


    Something soft, warm, and very much alive crashed into Haruto, sending them both rolling through the grass.


    Haruto groaned, looking down at what¡ªor who¡ªhad just hit him.


    It was a tall, elegant woman with long silver hair, emerald-green eyes, and pointed ears. Her flowing white dress was torn, and her golden crown was cracked.


    Haruto blinked.


    "...Who are you?"


    The woman looked up at him, panting.


    "Y-You¡­ you saved me¡­"


    "...Huh?"


    Haruto had no idea what was happening.


    But before he could process anything¡ª


    A massive shadow loomed over them.


    ---


    Haruto Accidentally Saves the Elf Queen


    Haruto looked up.


    A colossal demon, at least three stories tall, loomed before him.


    Glowing red eyes.


    Dark, cracked armor.


    Massive claws dripping with corrupt energy.


    "Hand over the queen," the demon growled. "You are no match for me, human."


    Haruto sighed.


    "I was just trying to climb a tree, man."


    "Then die."


    The demon lunged.


    Haruto casually raised a hand¡ª


    And flicked it.


    BOOOOOM!


    The air cracked.


    The ground shattered.


    The demon was sent flying so fast, it broke the sound barrier and vanished over the horizon.


    Haruto dusted off his hands.


    "...Can I go now?"


    The Elf Queen''s eyes widened.


    "I knew it¡­" she whispered. "A savior has come."


    Haruto''s soul left his body.


    "Oh no."


    ---


    Haruto Unknowingly Gains Another Weirdo


    "You have my eternal gratitude!" the Elf Queen declared dramatically, clasping his hands. "Brave warrior, you have saved me from certain doom!"


    Haruto tensed.


    Oh no. Oh no no no.


    Not again.


    "Wait, wait, wait, I''m not a warrior," Haruto said quickly. "I was just¡ª"


    "You are a hero beyond compare!" the Elf Queen continued. "To defeat a demon with a single strike¡­ I have never seen such power!"


    "It was an accident!"


    "Surely, you must be an ancient being in disguise!"


    "I''M JUST A GUY!"


    The Elf Queen ignored him.


    She lowered her head, suddenly looking shy.


    "As the ruler of the elves¡­" she murmured. "I must reward you properly."*


    Haruto paled.


    "Oh, no. No no no¡ª"


    "I shall become your wife."


    Haruto''s scream echoed through the entire forest.


    ---


    Haruto''s Breakdown: Part 500


    "WHY?!" Haruto yelled.


    "It is only natural!" the Elf Queen said seriously. "Elves pledge themselves to those who save their lives!"


    "THAT''S A TERRIBLE SYSTEM!"


    "You are strong. You are kind. You are worthy."


    "I DON''T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME!"


    "I am Queen Sylphiel of the Elven Dominion," she said. "But you may call me Sylphy, my beloved."


    "I WILL DO NO SUCH THING!"


    "It is done, then!"


    "IT IS NOT DONE!"


    Haruto grabbed his head, feeling his last brain cell die.


    HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?!


    ---


    Meanwhile¡­ Haruto''s Harem is Tracking Him


    Lilia stood at the edge of the Legendary Forest, eyes glowing.


    "Found him~."


    Fel tilted her head. "Dang, boss ran far this time."


    Emberis cracked her knuckles. "He''s making this too fun."


    Princess Emilia sighed. "At this point, should we even be surprised?"


    They marched forward.


    Haruto had escaped the cult.


    Haruto had escaped the village.


    Haruto had found a new hiding spot.


    And now?


    Now, they were about to find him again.


    And they were not alone.


    A new challenger had appeared.

 Chapter 12: I Accidentally Gained an Elf Wife, and Now the Others Are Here to Kill Me?!

    Haruto had tried to escape.


    He had fled the cult that worshipped him.


    He had run into a legendary forest.


    He had hidden inside the World Tree, thinking it was a safe place.


    Instead?


    He had saved an Elf Queen''s life and accidentally gained another insane fianc¨¦e.


    Now, he was staring at Queen Sylphiel, the most powerful elf in the world, as she smiled at him like he was her soulmate.


    Haruto''s soul was already leaving his body.


    ---


    Haruto''s Brain Shuts Down


    "It is decided," Queen Sylphiel announced, her emerald-green eyes glowing with absolute certainty.


    "As is elven tradition, I shall become your wife."


    Haruto blinked.


    Once.


    Twice.


    Then¡ª


    "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA¡ª"


    His scream was so loud, the World Tree''s leaves shook.


    ---


    Haruto''s Last Attempt at Sanity


    "WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!" Haruto held up his hands, desperately trying to process this. "I just met you like¡­ five minutes ago! You can''t just decide this!"


    "You saved my life," Sylphiel said serenely. "Elves are bound by eternal gratitude. It is our way."


    "I AM NOT AN ELF!"


    Sylphiel tilted her head. "No, but you are my savior. Thus, you are now my fated one."


    Haruto stared at her, horrified.


    "...That''s the dumbest thing I''ve ever heard."


    Sylphiel giggled and took his hands. "You are adorable when flustered, my beloved."


    "I AM NOT YOUR BELOVED."


    Sylphiel''s smile only grew.


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    "You are even more adorable when in denial."


    Haruto''s sanity collapsed.


    ---


    The Situation Gets Worse


    Just as Haruto was about to run for his life again, a terrifying presence loomed behind him.


    "Oh my~."


    A chill ran down Haruto''s spine.


    That voice.


    That all-too-familiar, way-too-smug voice.


    Slowly, mechanically, Haruto turned his head.


    And there¡ªstanding at the edge of the sacred elven grove¡ª


    Were his worst nightmares.


    [?] Lilia, the yandere Demon Lord, glowing with dark energy.


    [?] Emberis, the Dragon Emperor, cracking her knuckles.


    [?] Fel, the cat-girl thief, smirking with amusement.


    [?] Princess Emilia, looking way too happy about this.


    Haruto internally screamed.


    "HOW DID YOU FIND ME?!"


    Lilia smiled sweetly. "Darling, you really need to stop underestimating me~."


    Fel grinned. "You left a pretty obvious trail this time, boss. Just had to follow the destruction."


    Emberis sighed. "You need to try harder next time, little human."


    Princess Emilia tilted her head. "Wait¡­ who is that?"


    The girls'' eyes shifted toward Sylphiel, who was still holding Haruto''s hands.


    Sylphiel smiled warmly. "Ah, you must be his other companions. My name is Sylphiel, Queen of the Elves."


    A long, tense silence.


    Then¡ª


    "HARUTO."


    Haruto froze.


    Lilia''s eyes darkened. "What. Is. This?"


    "THIS IS A MISUNDERSTANDING," Haruto shrieked.


    Emberis crossed her arms. "You got another woman while we were looking for you?"


    "I DIDN''T DO ANYTHING!"


    Fel snickered. "Man, you''re a magnet for trouble."


    Princess Emilia just sighed. "Why am I even surprised anymore¡­"


    Lilia cracked her fingers. "Haruto¡­ it seems I need to remind you who your first wife is~."


    "I AM NOT YOUR HUSBAND!"


    ---


    Sylphiel Escalates the Situation


    Sylphiel stepped forward calmly, completely unbothered by the demonic and draconic auras clashing in the air.


    "Oh, how wonderful," she said softly. "I see I must prove myself as the primary wife."


    Haruto''s soul left his body.


    "WHAT DO YOU MEAN PRIMARY?! THERE AREN''T ANY OTHER WIVES!"


    Sylphiel completely ignored him.


    "Very well. If a challenge is what you desire, I shall accept."


    Lilia''s eyes sparkled dangerously. "Oh? You wish to compete for my dear husband?"


    "STOP SAYING THAT!"


    Sylphiel smiled. "As the ruler of the Elven Dominion, I accept any trials necessary to claim my beloved''s heart."


    Haruto panicked.


    "NO! NO COMPETITION! NO TRIALS! NO¡ª"


    Emberis grinned. "This could be fun."


    "IT WILL NOT BE FUN!"


    Fel smirked. "You better run, boss."


    Haruto turned and ran.


    ---


    Haruto''s Escape Attempt #593 (Instant Failure)


    Haruto sprinted into the trees, activating every stealth skill he had.


    Nope. Nope nope nope nope. I am NOT dealing with this.


    Just as he thought he was getting away¡ª


    BOOM.


    A golden net of magic appeared in front of him.


    He skidded to a stop¡ª


    Only for a dark barrier to appear behind him.


    Then¡ªa wall of fire.


    Then¡ªa glowing elven barrier.


    Haruto slowly realized something.


    He was trapped.


    He turned around.


    Lilia, Sylphiel, Emberis, Fel, and Emilia were closing in.


    His worst nightmare had become reality.


    ---


    Haruto Officially Gives Up on Life


    Haruto sat down on the grass, staring at the sky.


    "This is it."


    "This is how I die."


    Lilia sat next to him, resting her head on his shoulder. "Hush, my love. You cannot run from destiny."


    Sylphiel smiled. "Indeed. Fate has brought us together."


    Emberis snorted. "You''re doomed, little human."


    Fel grinned. "Don''t worry, boss. You''ll get used to it~."


    Princess Emilia sighed. "At this point, should we just hold a wedding?"


    Haruto let out a long, defeated groan.


    He had tried everything.


    And somehow¡ª


    Somehow¡ª


    He had only made things worse.


    "I hate my life."


    The girls only smiled.

 Chapter 13: I’m Stuck in a Wife War, and I Just Want to Go Home

    Haruto had officially lost.


    He had run, hidden, screamed, begged the gods, and even tried faking his own death.


    None of it worked.


    Instead?


    He had accidentally started a cult.


    He had accidentally gained a Dragon Emperor as a mate.


    He had accidentally gained a Demon Lord as a wife.


    He had accidentally gained an Elf Queen as a fianc¨¦e.


    And now?


    Now he was trapped in the middle of a legendary forest, watching in horror as an all-out war over him was about to begin.


    ---


    Haruto''s Incoming Breakdown


    Haruto sat motionless on the grass, completely dead inside.


    In front of him, Lilia, Sylphiel, and Emberis stood in a triangle formation, staring each other down like rival warlords.


    Fel and Emilia were sitting off to the side, eating snacks.


    Haruto took a deep breath.


    "...No."


    Sylphiel tilted her head. "No?"


    "No war. No competition. No trials. No fighting. I refuse."


    Lilia smiled sweetly. "Oh, darling, it''s cute that you think you have a choice."


    "I DO HAVE A CHOICE!" Haruto snapped. "AND MY CHOICE IS TO GO HOME!"


    Emberis crossed her arms. "Your ''home'' is wherever we decide it is, little human."


    Sylphiel nodded. "Indeed. And since we must determine the primary wife, it is only natural that we¡ª"


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    "NO WIFE!" Haruto yelled.


    Sylphiel blinked. "...Husband, why do you deny fate?"


    Haruto grabbed his own hair. "I SWEAR TO THE GODS, I AM GOING TO LOSE MY MIND!"


    ---


    The Wife War Begins (and Haruto Cries Inside)


    Lilia clapped her hands. "Alright, let''s settle this fairly!"


    "I vote we fight," Emberis said immediately.


    "That is unnecessary," Sylphiel said calmly. "As elves, we settle such matters through trials of wisdom, skill, and devotion."


    "Devotion?" Lilia smirked. "Oh, I have plenty of that~."


    Haruto internally screamed.


    Fel grinned at him. "Wanna make bets, boss?"


    "I WANNA LEAVE!"


    "Too late," Emilia said cheerfully. "It''s already happening."


    ---


    The Wife War: Challenge #1 - Cooking Battle


    "The best wife should be able to provide nourishing meals!" Sylphiel announced. "Let us begin."


    Haruto perked up slightly. "Wait. That actually sounds¡ª"


    BOOM.


    A pillar of flames exploded from Emberis''s side.


    Haruto turned.


    Her food was already on fire.


    "...Emberis, what did you do?"


    "I infused it with my dragon''s breath," she said proudly. "The meal is now infused with power."


    The plate was literally melting.


    Haruto backed away slowly.


    Lilia set down a plate. "Here, dear husband. I made something special for you~."


    Haruto looked at it.


    It was a cursed-looking dish pulsating with dark energy.


    "...Lilia, what is this?"


    "A demon''s blessing! Whoever eats it will be bound to me for eternity~."


    Haruto immediately flipped the table. "NOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE."


    Sylphiel smiled calmly. "I have prepared an elven feast using only the purest ingredients of the World Tree."


    Haruto turned.


    Sylphiel''s plate looked normal.


    Edible, even.


    Haruto hesitated. "...Wait. Did you actually make real food?"


    "Of course, beloved."


    Haruto stared at her suspiciously.


    "...You''re hiding something."


    "Nonsense."


    Fel, sitting nearby, sniffed the food.


    Her eyes widened. "Wait. This has..."


    "Hmm?" Sylphiel tilted her head. "Is something wrong?"


    Fel slowly backed away.


    "Boss, if you eat this, you''ll become an elf."


    Haruto froze.


    "...WHAT?!"


    Sylphiel blinked innocently. "Oh, did I forget to mention? The sacred fruit of the World Tree bestows elven longevity. If you eat this, you will become one of us¡ªforever bound to our people."


    Haruto picked up the plate¡ª


    And yeeted it into the forest.


    "I AM NOT BECOMING AN ELF!"


    Sylphiel pouted. "You wound me, my love."


    "DON''T CALL ME THAT!"


    ---


    The Wife War: Challenge #2 - Strength (Instant Failure)


    "Since cooking was a disaster," Emberis said, stretching, "let''s move to a real contest: Strength."


    Haruto rubbed his temples. "Why is this happening?"


    "Simple!" Emberis grinned. "Whoever can pin you down wins!"


    Haruto froze.


    "...What?"


    Before he could react¡ª


    BOOM.


    A wave of dragon fire erupted behind him.


    A shadow loomed over him.


    And then¡ª


    THREE WOMEN TACKLED HIM AT ONCE.


    ---


    Haruto Has Officially Had Enough


    Haruto was pinned under Lilia, Sylphiel, and Emberis.


    Fel and Emilia were watching from the sidelines.


    "...This is the dumbest day of my life," Haruto muttered into the dirt.


    "I claim victory," Sylphiel said calmly.


    "Nonsense!" Lilia smirked. "I am the true winner!"


    "Tch. You''re both weak," Emberis huffed. "I could have done this alone."


    Haruto lay motionless.


    "I''m going to scream."


    Fel patted his head. "You already did that, boss."


    "I''M GOING TO SCREAM AGAIN."


    ---


    Final Challenge: Haruto''s Escape Plan #684


    Haruto activated Stealth MAX, Speed MAX, and Desperation MAX.


    In a blink, he vanished.


    "Huh?" Sylphiel blinked. "Where did he go?"


    "...He ran away again," Emilia sighed.


    Lilia clapped her hands. "Oh, my love, you''re only making this more fun~."


    Emberis grinned. "He''s improving, but he can''t outrun me."


    Fel stretched. "Should we give him a head start?"


    "Yes," Lilia said. "I like when he thinks he has hope."


    Haruto, now deep in the forest, running for his life again, sneezed.


    "WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THEY''RE STILL WINNING?!"

 Chapter 14: I Went to Complain at the Guild, and Now the Tsundere Receptionist is in Love With Me?!

    Haruto had tried everything.


    [?] Running into the legendary forest? Failed.


    [?] Hiding in the World Tree? Failed.


    [?] Escaping a Wife War? Failed.


    Now?


    Now, he was running straight back to the place he once swore to avoid forever.


    ---


    Goldcrest City - Adventurer''s Guild


    The Adventurer''s Guild was bustling with activity as Haruto stormed through the doors, looking like a broken man.


    Adventurers froze when they saw him.


    "Is that¡­ Haruto?"


    "Didn''t he disappear for months?"


    "He looks like he''s been through hell."


    Haruto ignored them.


    He marched straight to the front desk, slammed his hands on the counter, and stared at the guild receptionist.


    There she was.


    Claire.


    The blonde twin-tailed tsundere receptionist who had rejected his adventurer application so many times he lost count.


    Haruto grabbed the counter like a drowning man.


    "CLAIRE. HELP ME."


    Claire blinked.


    Then, in the most bored tone imaginable:


    "No."


    ---


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    Haruto''s Breakdown (Again)


    "WHY NOT?!" Haruto screamed.


    Claire crossed her arms. "What exactly do you want me to do?"


    "I WANT A NORMAL LIFE!"


    "Sounds like a you problem."


    Haruto felt his soul shatter.


    "CLAIRE, I AM BEING CHASED BY A DEMON LORD, A DRAGON EMPEROR, A PRINCESS, AN ELF QUEEN, AND A CAT THIEF WHO WON''T PAY RENT."


    Claire tilted her head. "¡­So?"


    "I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE!"


    Claire stared at him.


    Then, in the most deadpan voice imaginable:


    "No one forced you to be hot, Haruto."


    Haruto choked on air.


    "WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT?!"


    ---


    Claire Makes Everything Worse


    "You think the Guild can help you?" Claire sighed. "You brought this upon yourself."


    "HOW DID I BRING THIS UPON MYSELF?!"


    "I dunno, maybe you shouldn''t have been so overpowered?"


    Haruto grabbed his head. "I DIDN''T ASK TO BE OVERPOWERED! I DIDN''T ASK FOR A HAREM! I DIDN''T ASK FOR ANY OF THIS!"


    "Uh-huh." Claire flipped through some papers. "Sounds like cope."


    "IT IS NOT COPE!"


    "Sounds like it to me."


    "I SWEAR TO THE GODS, CLAIRE, IF YOU DON''T HELP ME, I WILL¡ª"


    "What, cry?"


    Haruto almost collapsed.


    "YES. YES, I WILL CRY. RIGHT HERE. RIGHT NOW."


    Claire rolled her eyes. "Don''t be such a drama queen."


    Haruto grabbed the counter and let out the most pathetic groan in history.


    "PLEASE. JUST LET ME REGISTER AS AN ADVENTURER SO I CAN LEAVE EVERYTHING BEHIND."


    Claire raised an eyebrow. "Oh? You wanna be an adventurer now?"


    "YES!"


    "Too bad. Still banned."


    Haruto collapsed onto the floor.


    "I hate it here."


    ---


    And Then Claire Becomes Another Problem


    Just as Haruto was about to officially give up on life, Claire sighed.


    "Haaaah¡­"


    She leaned forward, resting her chin in her hands.


    "You know, Haruto¡­ I think you''re just mad that you haven''t claimed me as your wife yet."


    Haruto froze.


    His brain completely shut down.


    "...What."


    Claire smirked. "Oh, don''t give me that look. It''s obvious."


    "WHAT IS OBVIOUS?!"


    "You keep running away, but you always come back to me, Haruto."


    Haruto was speechless.


    "CLAIRE. YOU HATE ME."


    "Hate is a strong word," Claire shrugged. "More like¡­ strongly irritated but secretly amused."


    Haruto felt lightheaded.


    "I came here to ESCAPE weird women. Not ADD TO THE PROBLEM!"


    "Who said I''m a problem?"


    "YOU JUST BANNED ME FROM THE GUILD AGAIN."


    "Yeah, but only because it''s fun to watch you suffer."


    Haruto felt his sanity slipping.


    "CLAIRE. ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH ME?"


    "Maybe."


    Haruto screamed internally.


    ---


    The Others Arrive (Because Of Course They Do)


    "Ah, there you are, darling~."


    Haruto''s entire body locked up.


    Slowly¡ªmechanically¡ªhe turned around.


    And standing in the Guild entrance was his worst nightmare.


    [?] Lilia, smiling like a predator.


    [?] Emberis, cracking her knuckles.


    [?] Sylphiel, looking completely unbothered.


    [?] Fel, already pickpocketing some adventurer.


    [?] Emilia, sighing like this was a normal day.


    Haruto''s soul left his body.


    "NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. I REFUSE."


    Lilia grinned. "Darling, running back to the Guild? How nostalgic~."


    Emberis raised an eyebrow. "And who''s this?"


    Fel tilted her head. "Ohhh, the tsundere receptionist, huh?"


    Haruto panicked. "SHE''S NOT ONE OF YOU. SHE''S JUST A NORMAL PERSON."


    Claire rested her chin in her hand. "Oh, Haruto. You wound me."


    Haruto froze.


    Slowly, mechanically, he turned to look at Claire.


    "Wait. No. NO. NO, NO, NO¡ª"


    Claire smirked.


    "I never said I was normal, did I?"


    Haruto''s brain broke.


    ---


    Haruto Officially Breaks Down (Again)


    Haruto grabbed his head, shaking.


    "WHY?! WHY IS EVERY WOMAN A LUNATIC?!"


    "Maybe it''s your fault," Fel suggested.


    "IT IS NOT MY FAULT!"


    "Still sounds like cope," Claire muttered.


    "STOP SAYING THAT!"


    "Darling, just accept your fate~," Lilia cooed.


    "I REFUSE!"


    Sylphiel tilted her head. "But, beloved, why deny what is meant to be?"


    "IT''S NOT MEANT TO BE!"


    "Yet here we are," Emberis smirked.


    "I''M GOING TO SCREAM."


    "You already did that," Emilia reminded him.


    "I WILL DO IT AGAIN!"


    And then¡ª


    Haruto collapsed onto the counter, completely dead inside.


    "I hate it here."

 Chapter 15: I Tried to Ignore My Harem, and Now the Guild Thinks I’m a Legendary Womanizer?!

    Haruto had finally reached his limit.


    After running away, screaming for help, and getting rejected by society, he had returned to the Adventurer''s Guild in a desperate attempt to complain to Claire.


    But instead?


    Instead, he somehow gained her too.


    Now, he was surrounded by six insane women who had no intention of letting him live in peace.


    Lilia, the yandere Demon Lord who called him "husband."


    Emberis, the battle-hungry Dragon Emperor who claimed him as her "mate."


    Princess Emilia, the royal beauty who insisted on making him a noble.


    Fel, the thief girl who stole his money but refused to pay rent.


    Sylphiel, the Elf Queen who wanted him to become an elf with her.


    And now¡ªClaire, the tsundere receptionist who had spent months rejecting him but was now suddenly interested?!


    Haruto slumped against the counter, completely defeated.


    "I just wanted to be an adventurer¡­" he muttered weakly.


    Claire smirked. "Well, too bad. Still banned."


    Haruto let out the longest, most pathetic groan of his life.


    ---


    The Guild''s Reaction to Haruto''s Harem Situation


    The entire Adventurer''s Guild had gone completely silent.


    Adventurers, mercenaries, knights¡ªeveryone was staring.


    Whispers spread across the room.


    "Wait¡­ is that Haruto?"


    "The guy who disappeared for months?"


    "Why is the Demon Lord clinging to him?"


    "Why does he have an Elf Queen AND a Dragon Emperor fighting over him?"


    "Did he just recruit the tsundere guild receptionist too?!"


    Then¡ª


    "IS HARUTO ACTUALLY A LEGENDARY WOMANIZER?!"


    Haruto snapped back to reality.


    "NO, I AM NOT!" he shouted, waving his arms.


    "That''s exactly what a womanizer would say," someone muttered.


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    Haruto felt his soul leave his body.


    "I swear, I didn''t do anything! They just keep following me!"


    "Oh, so he''s a natural seducer?"


    "THIS IS SLANDER!"


    ---


    Haruto Officially Loses It (Again)


    Haruto grabbed Claire''s shoulders, shaking her.


    "CLAIRE, I NEED YOU TO FIX THIS."


    Claire smirked. "Why would I do that? Watching you suffer is way more fun."


    "YOU ARE THE WORST RECEPTIONIST IN HISTORY!"


    "And yet you always come back to me~."


    Haruto dropped to his knees.


    "I HATE EVERYTHING."


    "No, you don''t."


    "YES, I DO."


    Lilia wrapped her arms around him from behind. "Shhh, my love. Accept your fate."


    Haruto screamed internally.


    ---


    The Guild Master Steps In


    Just as Haruto was about to actually start crying, a heavy BOOM echoed through the room.


    The crowd parted instantly as a massive figure approached.


    The Guild Master.


    A towering man with a scarred face, thick muscles, and an aura of pure intimidation.


    "Silence!" his voice boomed. "Enough gossiping! Haruto, explain yourself."


    Haruto stared up at the Guild Master like a drowning man seeing a lifeboat.


    Finally.


    Finally, a reasonable adult.


    "Sir, please," Haruto begged. "I just want to live a normal life!"


    The Guild Master stared at the six women surrounding him.


    Then back at Haruto.


    Then¡ª


    He nodded wisely.


    "I understand."


    Haruto let out a sigh of relief.


    Finally.


    Someone who got it.


    Then the Guild Master said¡ª


    "You wish to form an adventuring party with your fianc¨¦es. Excellent decision!"


    Haruto froze.


    "Wait. No. That''s not what I meant¡ª"


    "Haruto!" the Guild Master clapped him on the shoulder. "As expected of a man with such charisma! To think you have gathered the strongest women in the world under your command!"


    Haruto screamed internally.


    "NO. STOP. THIS IS NOT A PARTY. THIS IS A NIGHTMARE."


    "Nonsense!" the Guild Master beamed. "A party with the Demon Lord, a Dragon Emperor, an Elf Queen, a Princess, a Master Thief, and the strongest Guild Receptionist? Legendary!"


    "NOOOOOOOO!"


    ---


    And Then It Got Worse


    Before Haruto could protest further, the Guild Master snapped his fingers.


    A document appeared on the counter.


    "Here is your party registration form, Haruto! Fill it out, and your legendary harem¡ªI mean, your party¡ªwill be official!"


    Haruto grabbed the form.


    He stared at it.


    Then¡ª


    He ripped it in half.


    "I. AM. NOT. DOING. THIS."


    Lilia pouted. "Oh, but husband, think of the possibilities~."


    "NO."


    Sylphiel smiled serenely. "A husband must lead his wives into battle."


    "I AM NOT YOUR HUSBAND."


    "Yet here we are," Emberis smirked.


    Haruto dropped to the floor, completely defeated.


    Fel leaned over him. "Y''know, boss, at this point, you should just accept it."


    "I WILL NEVER ACCEPT THIS."


    Claire nudged his head with her boot. "C''mon, Haruto. Look at it this way¡ªyou could be the first adventurer in history to register with a full harem."


    "I DON''T WANT THAT TITLE!"


    "Sounds like cope."


    "STOP SAYING THAT."


    ---


    Haruto Officially Breaks (Again)


    Haruto climbed onto the counter, grabbed a mug of ale from a random adventurer, and chugged it.


    Then he slammed the mug down.


    "Alright. Fine. If none of you are going to let me live in peace¡ª"


    The guild went dead silent.


    Everyone leaned in.


    Was he finally accepting his fate?!


    Haruto took a deep breath.


    Then, with all the force of a man who had lost all hope¡ª


    He stood on top of the counter and screamed at the heavens:


    "I DECLARE THIS WORLD UNFAIR AND I HATE EVERYTHING!"


    BOOOOOOM!


    A shockwave of pure despair burst from him, shattering every glass in the Guild.


    Silence.


    Total silence.


    Then¡ª


    Claire slow clapped.


    "Nice meltdown, Haruto."


    Haruto fell off the counter.


    He lay on the floor, staring at the ceiling.


    "I hate it here."

 Chapter 16: I Tried to Quit Adventuring, and Now I’m the Leader of the Most Overpowered Party in His

    Haruto had lost.


    Again.


    He had begged the Adventurer''s Guild for help.


    He had screamed about his suffering.


    He had tried to reject reality.


    And now?


    Now, he was staring at the Guild Master, who was handing him an official party registration form.


    A form declaring that Haruto was the leader of a newly registered adventuring party.


    A legendary party.


    A party consisting of:


    [?] Lilia, the yandere Demon Lord.


    [?] Emberis, the battle-crazed Dragon Emperor.


    [?] Sylphiel, the Elf Queen who wants to marry him.


    [?] Fel, the cat-girl thief who keeps robbing him.


    [?] Princess Emilia, who insists on making him a noble.


    [?] Claire, the tsundere receptionist who secretly enjoys his suffering.


    Haruto stared at the form.


    Then at the Guild Master.


    Then back at the form.


    "...What."


    ---


    Haruto Attempts to Refuse (Fails Immediately)


    "I. AM. NOT. SIGNING. THIS," Haruto said, his eye twitching violently.


    The Guild Master laughed. "Nonsense! A party of this caliber is unheard of!"


    "I NEVER AGREED TO THIS!"


    "Your wives did!"


    "THEY''RE NOT MY WIVES!"


    "Yet here we are," Emberis smirked.


    Haruto threw the form on the ground. "I QUIT! I REFUSE! I AM NOT AN ADVENTURER, AND I AM NOT LEADING A HAREM PARTY!"


    Claire smirked. "Oh? So you''re running away again?"


    Haruto froze.


    He slowly turned to Claire.


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    "...What."


    Claire leaned on the counter, her expression smug. "C''mon, Haruto. You already ran away from them once. You really gonna do it again?"


    Haruto twitched. "Yes. Yes, I am."


    Claire grinned. "But isn''t that kinda pathetic?"


    Haruto twitched harder. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN PATHETIC?!"


    "I dunno," Claire shrugged. "You maxed out every stat. You''re basically the strongest guy in the world. And yet¡­ you''re just gonna run and cry in a hole somewhere?"


    Haruto gritted his teeth. "That sounds amazing, actually."


    "Sounds like cope," Claire muttered.


    Haruto snapped.


    ---


    Haruto''s Pride Gets the Best of Him


    "FINE!" Haruto grabbed the form off the ground. "YOU WANT ME TO BE AN ADVENTURER?!"


    The Guild Master grinned. "Yes!"


    "YOU WANT ME TO LEAD THIS INSANE PARTY?!"


    The girls all smiled way too eagerly.


    "Yes~."


    Haruto slammed the form onto the counter.


    "FINE. I''LL BE THE DAMN LEADER!"


    BOOOOOM!


    A shockwave of pure frustration burst from him, rattling the entire Guild.


    "But let me make ONE THING CLEAR!" Haruto shouted. "I AM ONLY DOING THIS SO YOU ALL SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"


    The room went dead silent.


    Then¡ª


    The Guild erupted in cheers.


    "HARUTO HAS RETURNED TO ADVENTURING!"


    "LONG LIVE THE LEGENDARY WOMANIZER!"


    "WAIT, STOP CALLING ME THAT!"


    ---


    Haruto Realizes He''s Been Played


    Lilia wrapped her arms around his neck. "My dear husband has finally accepted destiny~."


    "I ACCEPTED NOTHING!"


    Sylphiel smiled serenely. "With my beloved leading us, we shall accomplish great things."


    "PLEASE STOP CALLING ME THAT!"


    Fel grinned. "Ohhh, this is gonna be fun, boss."


    "I AM NOT YOUR BOSS!"


    Claire patted his shoulder. "Welcome back, Haruto. Hope you enjoy your new career as a husband-leader."


    Haruto froze.


    His eye twitched.


    "...Wait a damn second."


    He stared at Claire.


    "Did you just manipulate me into signing this?!"


    Claire smirked. "Me? Manipulate you? Oh no, I''d never do that."


    Haruto felt actual rage.


    "I SWEAR, I AM GOING TO¡ª"


    "Too late! You''re officially an adventurer now!"


    The **Guild Master stamped the form with a loud THUNK.


    It was done.


    Haruto was officially registered as an adventurer.


    And worse¡ª


    He was now the leader of the most overpowered, chaotic, and unhinged party in history.


    ---


    Haruto Has a Complete Mental Breakdown


    Haruto grabbed his own hair.


    "THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE."


    Lilia patted his back. "Don''t be dramatic, darling~."


    "DON''T TOUCH ME."


    Emberis laughed. "Finally, I get to see how strong my little human truly is!"


    "I HATE EVERYTHING."


    Sylphiel sighed happily. "This is fate. You belong to us now."


    "I BELONG TO NO ONE!"


    Fel poked his cheek. "Relax, boss. With all of us around, you''ll never be lonely again~."


    "THAT''S EXACTLY THE PROBLEM!"


    Princess Emilia clapped her hands. "Then it''s decided! Haruto''s party is officially formed!"


    Haruto collapsed face-first onto the floor.


    "I quit. I resign. I''m done."


    "No, you''re not," Claire said smugly.


    "I HATE IT HERE."


    ---


    And Then the Guild Made It Worse


    Just when Haruto thought things couldn''t get dumber, a random adventurer burst into the room.


    "HEY! HEY! BIG NEWS!"


    Everyone turned to him.


    The adventurer pointed at Haruto.


    "THE DEMON KING HAS DECLARED WAR ON HUMANITY¡ªAND HE SPECIFICALLY CHALLENGED YOU!"


    Haruto froze.


    "...What."


    The Guild exploded into chaos.


    "THE DEMON KING?!"


    "HE WANTS HARUTO?!"


    "IS THIS BECAUSE OF THE DEMON LORD CLINGING TO HIM?!"


    Haruto slowly turned to Lilia.


    She smiled innocently.


    "Oh~. Did I forget to mention? I used to be engaged to the Demon King."


    Haruto''s soul shattered.

 Chapter 17: Flashback – The Day I Accidentally Got Engaged to a Demon Lord

    Haruto had suffered many disasters since arriving in this world.


    [?] Accidentally became overpowered.


    [?] Accidentally started a cult.


    [?] Accidentally got a harem of lunatics.


    [?] Accidentally became an adventurer.


    And now?


    Now, the Demon King had declared war on humanity.


    Because of him.


    Because of Lilia.


    Because he had somehow gotten engaged to the Demon Lord without realizing it.


    And so, for the first time in his life, Haruto truly reflected on his past mistakes.


    ---


    One Year Ago ¨C The Day Haruto''s Peaceful Life Ended


    Haruto had only been in this world for a few months.


    And at the time?


    He had a simple goal.


    "I just wanna live a quiet life," he had muttered to himself, lying on a grassy hill, watching the clouds drift by.


    There was no chaos.


    There were no women chasing him.


    There was no harem war.


    It was peaceful.


    It was perfect.


    And then¡ª


    A giant fireball crashed into the ground right next to him.


    ---


    The Worst First Meeting in History


    Haruto slowly sat up, coughing from the smoke.


    "...What the hell just happened?"


    A crater had formed beside him.


    And inside it¡ª


    A young woman with long raven-black hair, crimson-red eyes, and a billowing black dress stood dramatically in the smoke.


    Her cape fluttered in the wind.


    Her glowing demonic aura cracked the ground.


    Her expression was one of pure arrogance.


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    And then she pointed directly at him.


    "You there!"


    Haruto blinked.


    "...Me?"


    "Yes, you!" she declared. "Bow before me, mortal! I am Lilia, the next Demon Lord, and your new ruler!"


    Haruto stared.


    Then he laid back down on the grass.


    "Nah, I''m good."


    ---


    Lilia''s Ego Takes a Hit


    "W-What?" Lilia stumbled forward. "I said bow!"


    Haruto yawned. "Yeah, yeah, you seem busy. Go rule someone else."


    Lilia''s eye twitched.


    "You¡­ you dare ignore me?!"


    "Yep."


    "I am the strongest demon in the world!"


    "Cool, I''m unemployed. We all have problems."


    Lilia trembled with frustration.


    "You¡­ you¡­"


    Then, suddenly¡ª


    Her entire demeanor changed.


    "Wait¡­" she whispered, her red eyes locking onto Haruto.


    "A human who feels no fear in my presence?"


    "I''m just too lazy to be afraid."


    Lilia''s face turned pink.


    "Could it be¡­ that you are the one destined for me?!"


    Haruto froze.


    "...What."


    Then¡ª


    Lilia grabbed his hand.


    "Very well!" she declared. "From this moment forward, I shall make you my husband!"


    Haruto choked on air.


    "EXCUSE ME?!"


    ---


    Haruto Tries to Refuse (Fails Immediately)


    "WAIT, WAIT, WAIT," Haruto yanked his hand back. "We just met! You can''t just declare me your husband!"


    "Of course I can," Lilia nodded. "I am the next Demon Lord. I get whatever I want."


    "WHAT KIND OF LOGIC IS THAT?!"


    "Demon logic."


    "THAT''S NOT A THING!"


    Lilia stepped closer, smirking.


    "You intrigue me, Haruto~."


    Haruto took a step back.


    "NO. NO INTRIGUING. I AM NOT INTRIGUING. I AM BORING. VERY, VERY BORING."


    "A man with no fear, no hesitation, and such power? You are mine, Haruto."


    "I AM NOT YOURS!"


    "Too late. It is decided."


    ---


    The First Escape Attempt (Total Failure)


    Haruto turned and ran.


    "NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. NOT HAPPENING."


    For exactly five seconds, Haruto felt hope.


    Then¡ª


    BOOM.


    Lilia appeared right in front of him.


    "Going somewhere, dear?" she smirked.


    Haruto skidded to a stop.


    "...HOW DID YOU GET HERE SO FAST?!"


    "I teleported."


    "YOU CAN TELEPORT?!"


    "Yes. It''s convenient, isn''t it?"


    "IT''S A NIGHTMARE!"


    ---


    The Most Unfair Fight in History


    Haruto activated Speed MAX and Agility MAX.


    If I can''t outrun her, I''ll just have to fight¡ª


    "Dark Binding!" Lilia chanted.


    SHOOM!


    Dark energy wrapped around Haruto''s arms and legs, pinning him in place.


    Haruto froze.


    Then slowly, mechanically, he looked down at himself.


    "...Did you just cast a ''sit still and shut up'' spell on me?"


    "Yes~."


    "I HAVE BEEN DENIED MY BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS!"


    "Hush now, my husband. This is all part of our love story~."


    "I REJECT THIS LOVE STORY!"


    Lilia ignored him.


    ---


    Haruto Accidentally Proposes (Somehow)


    "Well, well~," Lilia purred, leaning closer. "Now that I have subdued you, we can begin our proper engagement."


    "THERE IS NO ENGAGEMENT!"


    "Oh, but you already proposed, remember?"


    Haruto froze.


    "...What."


    Lilia smirked. "Just now, when you yelled ''I reject this love story.''"


    "WHAT ABOUT IT?!"


    "In ancient demon tongue, that phrase means ''I accept our eternal bond.''"


    Haruto''s soul left his body.


    "I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT."


    "Too late. It is demon law."


    "THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS DEMON LAW!"


    "Yet here we are~."


    Haruto screamed internally.


    ---


    Back to the Present ¨C Haruto''s Regret


    Haruto rubbed his temples, returning to reality.


    "I should''ve just let her kill me that day."


    Lilia smiled sweetly, hugging his arm. "Ah, nostalgia. Our first meeting was so romantic~."


    "IT WAS A KIDNAPPING!"


    "Oh, hush, darling. You belong to me now."


    "I BELONG TO NO ONE."


    Sylphiel tilted her head. "Oh? But you belong to me as well, husband."


    "I BELONG TO NO ONE!"


    "Yet here we are," Emberis smirked.


    Haruto grabbed his head, shaking violently.


    "SOMEBODY HELP ME."


    Claire sipped her drink. "No."


    Haruto collapsed onto the counter.


    "I hate it here."

 Chapter 18: I Tried to Annul My Demon Lord Engagement, and Now the Demon King Wants to Kill Me?!

    Haruto had officially reached his limit.


    One year ago, he had accidentally gotten engaged to Lilia, the yandere Demon Lord, thanks to her insane demon logic.


    And now?


    Now the Demon King himself had declared war on humanity.


    Because of Haruto.


    Because of Lilia.


    Because Haruto had unknowingly stolen the Demon King''s fianc¨¦e.


    Haruto buried his face in his hands.


    "I hate my life."


    ---


    Haruto''s Desperate Plan


    "Alright, listen up!" Haruto stood up suddenly, slamming his hands on the Guild counter. "I have a plan to fix this!"


    Everyone stared.


    Lilia tilted her head. "Oh? My dear husband, whatever do you mean?"


    Haruto gritted his teeth. "I AM NOT YOUR HUSBAND."*


    Sylphiel smiled. "Yet you continue to deny fate, my beloved."


    "I WILL SET FATE ON FIRE."


    Claire sipped her drink. "Sounds like cope."


    Haruto twitched violently.


    "ANYWAY!" he continued, trying to ignore the headache forming. "The Demon King wants to kill me because of our ''engagement,'' right?"


    "Correct~," Lilia purred.


    "So if we just annul the engagement, the problem is solved!"


    Lilia stared at him.


    Then¡ª


    She burst into laughter.


    "Oh, darling~." Lilia giggled behind her hand. "You really don''t understand demon law, do you?"


    Haruto froze.


    A cold chill ran down his spine.


    "...What do you mean?"


    Lilia smiled sweetly.


    "You can''t annul a demon engagement, Haruto."


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    Haruto''s soul left his body.


    ---


    Demon Marriage Law is a Nightmare


    "W-Wait, wait, wait." Haruto held up his hands. "There has to be a way out of this!"


    "Oh, there is~," Lilia said cheerfully.


    Haruto brightened. "Really?!"


    Lilia leaned closer, whispering:


    "Death."


    Haruto choked on air.


    "EXCUSE ME?!"


    "Demon law states that once a bond is formed, it can only be broken in two ways¡ª"


    Lilia held up a finger.


    "One: Death."


    Haruto gulped.


    "O-Okay¡­ and the second way?"


    Lilia grinned.


    "Killing the Demon King and taking the throne yourself."


    Haruto screamed internally.


    ---


    Haruto''s Brain Malfunctions


    "WHY WOULD THAT BE THE ONLY OTHER OPTION?!"


    Lilia smirked. "Demon law is very simple."


    "THAT IS NOT SIMPLE!"


    "Oh, but it is~."


    Haruto clutched his head.


    "WHY IS IT ALWAYS LIFE-OR-DEATH WITH YOU PEOPLE?!"


    "We are demons, my love. That is how we do things."


    "STOP CALLING ME THAT."


    Sylphiel smiled. "I must admit, this is quite entertaining."


    Haruto spun to face her. "YOU ARE NOT HELPING."


    "Of course I am, my beloved."


    Haruto screamed again.


    ---


    And Then Things Got Worse (Again)


    Before Haruto could process his impending doom, the doors to the Guild slammed open.


    A powerful, suffocating aura filled the air.


    The ground shook.


    The temperature dropped.


    And then¡ª


    A dark, towering figure stepped into the Guild.


    A man clad in black armor, radiating pure menace.


    His blood-red cape billowed.


    His eyes glowed like molten lava.


    And his voice was deep and thunderous.


    "HUMAN!"


    Haruto froze.


    The entire Guild went silent.


    The man pointed directly at Haruto.


    "YOU DARE STEAL MY FIANC¨¦E?!"


    Haruto panicked.


    "WAIT, WAIT, WAIT¡ª"


    "PREPARE TO DIE!"


    The Demon King himself had arrived.


    ---


    Haruto''s Fight-or-Flight Response Malfunctions


    Haruto''s brain shut down.


    Then rebooted.


    Then immediately chose Flight.


    "NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. I AM NOT DEALING WITH THIS!"


    He turned and sprinted toward the nearest window.


    "SOMEONE ELSE HANDLE THIS¡ª"


    BOOOOOM!


    A massive black fireball exploded behind him, sending him crashing into a table.


    Haruto groaned.


    "I hate my life."


    ---


    Lilia Takes Over the Conversation


    The Demon King loomed over Haruto.


    "FIGHT ME, HUMAN!"


    "I REALLY DON''T WANT TO!"


    "TO THE DEATH!"


    "I EXTREMELY DON''T WANT TO!"


    Before the Demon King could attack again, Lilia stepped between them, smiling.


    "My, my. How nostalgic~."


    The Demon King''s rage faltered.


    "Lilia¡­"


    "It''s been a while, hasn''t it?"


    The tension in the air changed.


    Haruto froze.


    "Wait. Do you two¡­ know each other?"


    The Demon King sighed.


    "Of course we do. I was engaged to Lilia before this fool stole her!"


    Haruto nearly choked on his own breath.


    "I DID NOT STEAL ANYONE!"


    "Oh?" Lilia smirked. "That''s not what demon law says~."


    Haruto let out a strangled scream.


    ---


    Lilia Escalates the Situation (Again)


    "Enough!" the Demon King growled. "I will reclaim what is mine! You shall face me in battle!"


    Lilia patted Haruto''s back.


    "Oh, don''t worry, dear. I shall grant you strength for this battle~."


    Haruto turned pale.


    "WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. I DON''T WANT A POWER-UP. I DON''T WANT TO FIGHT AT ALL!"


    Lilia smiled.


    "Nonsense. You must defend your claim to me as your wife."


    "I AM NOT CLAIMING YOU!"


    "Yet here we are~."


    Haruto screamed internally.


    ---


    The Fight Begins (And Haruto Suffers)


    The Demon King cracked his knuckles.


    "Prepare yourself, human."


    Haruto stood up, trembling.


    "I REFUSE TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS!"


    Lilia clapped her hands.


    "Very well! Then I shall declare this a Trial of Destiny!"


    Haruto froze.


    "...That sounds bad."


    Claire leaned over the counter. "Oh yeah, you''re screwed."


    "THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT, CLAIRE."


    Lilia smirked.


    "If Haruto wins, he remains my husband forever!"


    Haruto paled.


    "IF?!"


    "And if he loses¡­ he dies~."


    Haruto froze again.


    Then, slowly¡ªmechanically¡ªhe turned to the others.


    "...Am I allowed to quit adventuring again?"


    Fel grinned. "Nope, boss. You''re in too deep now."


    Haruto collapsed onto the floor.


    "I hate it here."

 Chapter 19: I Was Forced Into a Duel, and Somehow I Accidentally Became the New Demon King?!

    Haruto was having the worst day of his life.


    One moment, he was just a normal guy who wanted to live in peace.


    Now?


    Now, he was standing in a massive battle arena, being forced into a duel with the Demon King.


    The entire city was watching.


    His insane harem was watching.


    And if he lost? He died.


    If he won?


    ¡­Well, he hadn''t thought that far ahead yet.


    Haruto let out the deepest sigh of his life.


    "I hate everything."


    ---


    The Arena (That Haruto Didn''t Agree To)


    The moment the duel was announced, the entire demon army flooded into the battle arena.


    The stadium roared with excitement.


    "LONG LIVE THE DEMON KING!"


    "SLAY THE HUMAN!"


    "HARUTO! HARUTO! HARUTO!"


    Haruto twitched violently.


    "STOP CHANTING MY NAME!"


    Across from him, the Demon King stood tall, radiating dark power.


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    His massive black armor gleamed.


    His burning red eyes locked onto Haruto.


    "PREPARE YOURSELF, HUMAN!"


    "NO, THANK YOU!"


    ---


    The Fight Begins (Haruto''s Instant Regret)


    The Demon King raised his hand.


    A massive surge of dark energy erupted around him, forming a giant sphere of destruction.


    The entire arena shook.


    The spectators screamed in awe.


    "TO THE DEATH!" the Demon King roared.


    "I EXTREMELY DON''T WANT TO DO THIS!" Haruto yelled.


    The Demon King charged.


    A shockwave of pure power exploded from his feet.


    He rushed toward Haruto at blinding speed, preparing to unleash a devastating attack.


    Haruto?


    Haruto panicked and flicked his wrist.


    BOOOOOM!


    The Demon King was sent flying through five walls.


    Silence.


    Total silence.


    Then¡ª


    "...Did Haruto just one-shot the Demon King?"


    ---


    Haruto Accidentally Wins (And Regrets Everything)


    The Demon King staggered out of the rubble, his armor cracked.


    "W-What¡­ was that power?!"


    Haruto froze.


    "Uh¡­ It was¡­ um¡­ an accident?"


    Lilia smiled proudly. "As expected of my dear husband~."


    "STOP CALLING ME THAT!"


    The Demon King trembled.


    "I¡­ I see now¡­"


    "Huh?"


    The Demon King dropped to one knee.


    "I was a fool to challenge you. You are clearly far beyond me¡­"


    Haruto''s stomach dropped.


    "Wait. No. NO, NO, NO¡ª"


    "As per demon law, I now recognize you as the strongest among us¡­"


    "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO¡ª"


    "And as such¡­"


    "DON''T SAY IT¡ª"


    "I DECLARE YOU THE NEW DEMON KING!"


    Haruto''s soul left his body.


    ---


    The Aftermath (Haruto''s Breakdown #999)


    Haruto grabbed his own hair, screaming.


    "WHY?! WHY DOES EVERYTHING I DO MAKE MY LIFE WORSE?!"


    Lilia clapped excitedly. "Oh, how wonderful! Now you truly are my king, my dear husband~."


    "I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS!"


    "Yet here we are~."


    Fel grinned. "Congrats, boss. You''re officially a king now."


    "I DON''T WANT TO BE A KING!"


    Claire smirked. "Cope."


    Haruto collapsed onto the ground.


    "I hate it here."


    ---


    Demon Society Immediately Accepts Haruto as King


    Within minutes, the entire demon army knelt before him.


    "LONG LIVE THE DEMON KING!"


    "PRAISE KING HARUTO!"


    "WE SHALL FOLLOW YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH!"


    Haruto watched in horror.


    "NO! STAND UP! I REFUSE TO BE YOUR KING!"


    The demons stood up.


    "YES, YOUR MAJESTY!"


    Haruto''s eye twitched violently.


    "This is a nightmare."


    Lilia hugged his arm. "Don''t resist, dear~."


    "I WILL RESIST WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING!"


    ---


    Haruto Tries to Escape Being King (Fails Immediately)


    "Alright, listen up!" Haruto pointed at the Demon King. "I don''t want the throne! Take it back!"


    The Demon King shook his head.


    "I have already sworn fealty. You are my lord now."


    "I REJECT YOUR LOYALTY!"


    "You are the strongest. You must rule."


    "I REFUSE TO RULE!"


    "Yet here we are."


    Haruto screamed into his hands.


    "STOP SAYING THAT!"


    ---


    Lilia Makes Things Worse (Again)


    "Oh, darling~," Lilia purred, resting her head on his shoulder.


    "Now that you are king, you will need a queen by your side¡­"


    Haruto froze.


    His soul left his body.


    "NO."


    "Yes~."


    "I REFUSE."


    "Yet here we are~."


    ---


    The Kingdom Celebrates (While Haruto Suffers)


    That night, the demon capital erupted into a massive festival.


    Fireworks exploded across the sky.


    Demons danced in the streets.


    Banners of Haruto''s face were already being painted.


    Haruto stood in the royal palace, completely dead inside.


    "This is my villain origin story."


    Lilia wrapped her arms around him. "My love, you should smile more. You are their king now~."


    "I AM NOT THEIR KING."


    "Yet here we are~."


    Haruto cried internally.

 Chapter 20: I Tried to Escape My Own Coronation, and Now the Demon Army is Hunting Me?!

    Haruto had survived many nightmares since coming to this world.


    [?] Accidentally overpowered? Yes.


    [?] Accidentally engaged to a Demon Lord? Unfortunately.


    [?] Accidentally started a cult? Still not over that.


    [?] Accidentally became an adventurer? Worst mistake of his life.


    [?] Accidentally became the new Demon King? He was currently suffering through that one.


    Now, he was standing in the Demon King''s palace, staring in horror as demons hurriedly prepared a coronation ceremony.


    Banners with his face were being hung.


    A golden throne was being polished.


    The royal crown was being enchanted with dark energy.


    And Haruto?


    Haruto was planning his escape.


    ---


    Haruto Tries to Reason With the Demons (Fails Instantly)


    "Listen!" Haruto shouted, waving his arms. "I am not a demon, I am not your king, and I am not doing this!"


    The royal demon attendants nodded respectfully.


    "Understood, Your Majesty!"


    "STOP CALLING ME THAT!"


    "Your Highness is so humble," one of the demons muttered.


    "TRULY, HE IS WISE BEYOND HIS YEARS!" another one cried.


    Haruto felt a headache forming.


    "I am leaving!"


    "Of course, sire!"


    "No, seriously, I''m walking away now!"


    "Yes, yes, a wise king always takes time to reflect before his grand ascension!"


    Haruto turned to Lilia, pleading. "Help me fix this!"


    Lilia smiled innocently. "Fix what? You''re their king now~."


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    "NO, I AM NOT!"


    "Yet here we are~."


    Haruto screamed internally.


    ---


    Haruto''s Escape Plan (Total Failure)


    Haruto activated Stealth MAX.


    He snuck through the palace corridors, blending into the shadows.


    Alright. All I have to do is slip past the guards, get out of the city, and disappear forever.


    He reached the castle gates.


    Freedom was just ahead.


    Then¡ª


    BOOOOOM!


    The entire city shook.


    A massive dark energy barrier erupted around the palace.


    Haruto froze mid-step.


    "...What."


    A demon guard appeared beside him.


    "Your Majesty, I see you''re testing our new security measures!"


    "SECURITY MEASURES?!"


    "Yes, we have activated the Grand Demon Barrier to prevent enemy infiltration¡ª"


    "AND YOU TRAPPED ME INSIDE?!"


    "Ah, yes! The barrier prevents all unauthorized movement!"


    Haruto''s eye twitched violently.


    "WHO AUTHORIZED THIS?!"


    "Lady Lilia did!"


    Haruto whipped around.


    Lilia was standing at the balcony, sipping tea.


    She waved at him.


    "Going somewhere, dear?"


    Haruto internally screamed.


    ---


    Haruto''s Desperate Attempt to Break the Barrier (Fails Spectacularly)


    "FINE!" Haruto stomped forward, cracking his knuckles. "I''ll break the barrier myself!"


    The demons gasped.


    "TRULY, OUR KING IS MIGHTY!"


    "SILENCE!"


    Haruto punched the air in front of him.


    BOOOOOOOM!


    A massive shockwave erupted.


    The entire palace trembled.


    The barrier cracked¡ª


    Then reformed instantly.


    Haruto stared at it.


    "...You have GOT to be kidding me."


    "The barrier is self-repairing, Your Majesty!" the guards reported cheerfully.


    "I HATE EVERYTHING!"


    ---


    Meanwhile, the Demon Army is Preparing for War


    As Haruto was losing his mind, the Demon Generals were gathered in the war chamber.


    A massive map of the continent lay before them.


    One of the generals slammed his fist on the table.


    "Our great king has finally ascended!"


    "It is time to conquer the world in his name!"


    The demons erupted into cheers.


    "PRAISE KING HARUTO! PRAISE HIS WAR!"


    At that moment, Haruto burst into the room.


    "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"


    The generals knelt immediately.


    "Your Majesty, we were just planning the first war campaign in your honor!"


    Haruto twitched violently.


    "I DON''T WANT A WAR!"


    The demons exchanged confused glances.


    "...You don''t?"


    "NO!"


    "Then¡­ what shall we do?"


    "I DON''T KNOW, HAVE A PICNIC OR SOMETHING?!"


    Silence.


    The demons all looked at each other.


    Then¡ª


    "OUR KING HAS SPOKEN!"


    "PREPARE THE GRAND DEMON KINGDOM PICNIC!"


    "LET THERE BE FESTIVITIES!"


    Haruto felt his soul leave his body.


    "THAT WASN''T A COMMAND!"


    ---


    The Coronation Ceremony That Haruto Didn''t Want


    Before Haruto could protest further, a demon rushed into the room.


    "Your Majesty! The coronation ceremony is ready!"


    Haruto paled.


    "No. NO. NO, NO, NO¡ª"


    "Come, my dear husband~," Lilia said sweetly, grabbing his arm. "It is time to take your rightful place on the throne."


    "I DON''T WANT A THRONE!"


    "Yet here we are~."


    Haruto was dragged out of the room.


    ---


    The Ceremony (Haruto''s Absolute Despair)


    Thousands of demons gathered in the capital square.


    Trumpets blared.


    Massive banners unfurled, each one depicting Haruto''s face.


    And at the center¡ª


    A giant golden throne sat at the top of a massive staircase.


    Haruto stood at the bottom of the steps, trembling.


    "I refuse to do this."


    Lilia nudged him forward.


    "Go on, dear. It''s your big moment~."


    "I AM GOING TO SCREAM."


    Sylphiel smiled. "It is only natural for my beloved to be a king."


    "I AM NOT YOUR BELOVED."


    Emberis grinned. "If you don''t sit on the throne, I''ll just carry you up there myself."


    Haruto paled.


    Fel poked his side. "C''mon, boss. It''s just a chair."


    "IT''S NOT JUST A CHAIR!"


    Princess Emilia sighed. "At this point, shouldn''t you just accept it?"


    Haruto turned away.


    "No. Nope. I refuse. This isn''t happening."


    "Then we shall begin the ceremony!"


    A demon priest stepped forward.


    "ALL HAIL KING HARUTO!"


    Haruto whimpered.


    Then¡ª


    The golden crown was placed on his head.


    Fireworks exploded.


    The demons cheered.


    And in that moment¡ª


    Haruto finally accepted his fate.


    "This is my villain origin story."


    Lilia hugged his arm.


    "Oh, darling, smile more. You are our king now~."


    Haruto internally screamed.

 Chapter 21: I Tried to Escape, and Somehow I Accidentally Invaded a Kingdom?!

    Haruto was officially the Demon King.


    Against his will.


    Against all logic.


    Against every desperate attempt to escape.


    And now?


    Now, he was about to make things even worse.


    ---


    Haruto''s Midnight Escape Plan (Fails Instantly, Again)


    Haruto sat in the Demon King''s throne room, completely dead inside.


    Lilia was humming happily next to him.


    The Demon Generals were discussing war plans.


    Demons were parading in the streets, celebrating their new king.


    And Haruto?


    Haruto was watching a golden statue of himself being raised in the town square.


    "...This is my villain origin story," he muttered.


    But tonight¡ª


    He would fix everything.


    Alright, he thought, this is my chance.


    He had waited until everyone was distracted.


    He had memorized the castle layout.


    He had prepared his escape route.


    Just slip out quietly, run far away, and live in a cave for the rest of my life.


    Haruto nodded to himself.


    Foolproof plan.


    ---


    Step 1: Steal a Horse (Somehow Succeeds)


    Haruto snuck out of the palace, wrapped himself in a cloak, and made his way to the royal stables.


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    The demon guards were too busy celebrating to notice him.


    Perfect.


    Haruto hopped onto the biggest, fastest horse he could find.


    "Alright, buddy," he whispered. "Get me out of here."


    The horse neighed excitedly.


    Then¡ª


    BOLTED OUT OF THE CITY AT FULL SPEED.


    ---


    Step 2: Ride Into the Night (Everything Goes Wrong Immediately)


    For the first time in days, Haruto felt hope.


    The demon city disappeared behind him.


    The cool night air rushed past his face.


    He was finally free.


    "Hah!" Haruto laughed. "They''ll never find me now!"


    Then¡ª


    He heard the sound of an entire army galloping behind him.


    Haruto''s stomach dropped.


    Slowly¡ªmechanically¡ªhe turned his head.


    And what did he see?


    The entire demon army riding after him.


    "OUR KING IS LEADING US INTO BATTLE!"


    "LONG LIVE KING HARUTO!"


    "DEATH TO THE HUMANS!"


    Haruto screamed.


    "NO! TURN AROUND! I AM NOT LEADING YOU ANYWHERE!"


    The demon soldiers roared with excitement.


    "FOR THE DEMON KING!"


    "FOR HARUTO!"


    "STOP SAYING MY NAME!"


    ---


    Step 3: Accidentally Invade a Human Kingdom


    Haruto yanked the reins, trying to stop his horse.


    "TURN AROUND! GO HOME! DISMISS YOURSELVES!"


    The demons didn''t listen.


    Instead¡ª


    They charged straight toward the border of the human kingdom.


    "I AM NOT LEADING A WAR!" Haruto screamed.


    "LONG LIVE KING HARUTO!"


    "I SWEAR TO THE GODS, I WILL THROW MYSELF OFF THIS HORSE!"


    The demons cheered louder.


    Then¡ª


    A horn sounded in the distance.


    Haruto froze.


    Ahead, standing at the border of the human kingdom, was a fully armed human army.


    The knights stood ready.


    The mage battalions prepared their spells.


    The king himself sat on a majestic white horse, glaring directly at Haruto.


    And then¡ª


    The human army saw the demon army charging.


    And what did they assume?


    That Haruto, the newly crowned Demon King, was leading an invasion.


    The knights pointed their swords at him.


    "IT''S THE DEMON KING!"


    "HE''S LAUNCHING AN ATTACK!"


    "PREPARE FOR WAR!"


    Haruto''s soul shattered.


    "WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, THIS IS A MISUNDERSTANDING!"


    ---


    Step 4: Attempt Diplomacy (Fails Immediately)


    Haruto desperately waved his arms.


    "STOP! STOP! I SURRENDER! I COME IN PEACE!"


    The human king narrowed his eyes.


    "LIES! THE DEMONS NEVER SURRENDER!"


    "NO, SERIOUSLY, THIS IS A BIG MISUNDERSTANDING!"


    The human king pointed at him.


    "DO NOT BE FOOLED! THIS IS THE MOST DANGEROUS DEMON KING IN HISTORY!"


    Haruto choked on air.


    "...What."


    "THIS IS THE MONSTER WHO DEFEATED THE PREVIOUS DEMON KING IN A SINGLE STRIKE!"


    The human knights gasped.


    "HE''S EVEN STRONGER THAN THE LAST ONE?!"


    "WE ARE DOOMED!"


    Haruto internally screamed.


    "NO! I AM NOT STRONG! I AM JUST A GUY!"


    The human king scoffed.


    "Only a true demon king would say something so deceptive."


    Haruto grabbed his own face, shaking.


    "WHY DOES NO ONE EVER LISTEN TO ME?!"


    ---


    Step 5: Try to Run (Again, Fails Instantly)


    "Alright, nope. I''m done."


    Haruto turned his horse around.


    "I AM GOING HOME!"


    Then¡ª


    A fireball exploded in front of him.


    Haruto froze.


    The human mages had launched the first attack.


    "THEY''RE FIRING SPELLS! RETALIATE!" a demon general shouted.


    "NO, DON''T RETALIATE!" Haruto screamed.


    Too late.


    The demons launched a counterattack.


    The humans retaliated.


    And before Haruto could process what was happening¡ª


    THE BATTLE HAD BEGUN.


    Haruto screamed in agony.


    "WHY?! WHY DOES EVERYTHING I DO MAKE MY LIFE WORSE?!"


    ---


    Step 6: Watch His Harem Make Everything Worse


    Just when Haruto thought things couldn''t get dumber¡ª


    He felt a familiar presence behind him.


    Slowly¡ªmechanically¡ªhe turned his head.


    And who did he see?


    [?] Lilia, smiling like this was a date.


    [?] Emberis, cracking her knuckles, ready for a fight.


    [?] Sylphiel, radiating elegance, completely unfazed.


    [?] Fel, casually robbing unconscious soldiers.


    [?] Claire, standing at a safe distance, watching him suffer.


    [?] Princess Emilia, looking deeply, deeply disappointed.


    Haruto choked on air.


    "HOW?! HOW DID YOU ALL GET HERE?!"


    Lilia giggled. "Oh, darling, we couldn''t let you have all the fun~."


    "THIS IS NOT FUN!"


    Emberis grinned. "Now that we''re here, shall we conquer this kingdom together?"


    "NO! STOP! GO HOME!"


    Sylphiel smiled. "A king should always expand his empire."


    "I DON''T HAVE AN EMPIRE!"


    Fel snickered. "Well, you do now, boss."


    Haruto collapsed onto his horse.


    "I hate it here."

 Chapter 22: Flashback – The Day I Accidentally Became a Princess’s Hero

    Haruto had suffered many disasters since arriving in this world.


    [?] Accidentally overpowered.


    [?] Accidentally got engaged to a Demon Lord.


    [?] Accidentally became the Demon King.


    [?] Accidentally started a war (against his will).


    And now?


    Now, as chaos unfolded on the battlefield, Haruto found himself staring at Princess Emilia.


    The only person here who looked just as exhausted as he was.


    Unlike Lilia, Emberis, and the rest of his problematic harem, Emilia wasn''t here to cause trouble.


    No, she was just here to watch him suffer.


    Haruto let out a long, pained sigh.


    "Why are you even here, Emilia?"


    The princess crossed her arms. "I could ask you the same thing, Haruto."


    Haruto groaned.


    He never should have saved her that day.


    ---


    One Year Ago ¨C The Day Haruto''s Peace Ended (Again)


    At the time, Haruto had one goal.


    Live quietly, avoid danger, and never stand out.


    Which is why he was doing his best to blend in at a small rural village, working as a farmhand.


    It was simple.


    It was peaceful.


    It was perfect.


    Then¡ª


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    A carriage came barreling into the village, completely out of control.


    ---


    The Dumbest Rescue in History


    Haruto looked up from his farm work, confused.


    A fancy royal carriage was racing down the dirt road, kicking up dust.


    "What the hell?"


    Then, he saw her.


    A girl with long golden hair and sapphire-blue eyes, dressed in an elegant white dress, screaming inside the carriage.


    "HELP! SOMEONE STOP THIS THING!"


    Haruto blinked.


    Then shrugged.


    "Not my problem."


    Then he went back to pulling weeds.


    ---


    Haruto Accidentally Becomes a Hero (Against His Will)


    "LOOK OUT!" a villager screamed.


    Haruto looked up again.


    And realized the carriage was heading straight for him.


    "OH COME ON!"


    He barely moved in time before the carriage crashed into a nearby tree.


    The doors burst open, and a dozen masked bandits surrounded the wreckage.


    "We have her!" one of them yelled.


    "GET THE PRINCESS!"


    Haruto froze.


    Wait.


    Princess?!


    The girl inside the carriage stumbled out, eyes filled with panic.


    The bandits closed in.


    Haruto stared at them.


    "Not my problem," he muttered.


    Then he went back to pulling weeds.


    ---


    Haruto Gets Involved (By Accident, Again)


    "HELP!" the princess yelled. "ANYONE, PLEASE!"


    The villagers all ran away in fear.


    Haruto continued pulling weeds.


    "Someone save me!"


    Haruto did not move.


    Then¡ª


    One of the bandits stepped on Haruto''s crops.


    Haruto froze.


    Very, very slowly, he looked up.


    The bandit sneered at him. "What? You got a problem, farm boy?"


    Haruto exhaled deeply.


    "Alright, fine. You guys asked for it."


    Then he stood up.


    ---


    The Shortest Fight in History


    One of the bandits lunged.


    Haruto casually flicked his wrist.


    BOOOOOM!


    The bandit was sent flying into the sky, vanishing like a shooting star.


    The other bandits froze.


    Haruto cracked his neck.


    "Last chance. Leave."


    The bandits screamed and ran for their lives.


    Haruto exhaled.


    Then he went back to pulling weeds.


    ---


    Princess Emilia Makes a Big Mistake


    "You saved me!" the princess rushed forward, eyes shining.


    Haruto didn''t look up. "No, I didn''t. I was just mad they stepped on my crops."


    "Regardless, you are my savior!"


    "I really don''t care."


    "I must reward you!"


    "Please don''t."


    "What is your name, noble warrior?!"


    "I''m just some guy, leave me alone."


    Princess Emilia gasped.


    "Humble and powerful? Truly, you are like the heroes of legend!"


    Haruto twitched.


    "Please stop talking."


    Then¡ª


    Emilia took his hand.


    "From this day forward, you shall be my personal knight!"


    Haruto choked on air.


    "EXCUSE ME?!"


    ---


    Haruto Tries to Refuse (Fails Immediately, Again)


    "Wait, wait, wait, I never agreed to this!" Haruto yanked his hand back.


    "A knight does not need to agree!" Emilia smiled. "It is the duty of nobility to recognize true talent!"


    "I DON''T WANT TO BE RECOGNIZED!"


    "Too bad. I have decided."


    Haruto turned and ran.


    "NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. NOT HAPPENING."


    For exactly five seconds, he felt hope.


    Then¡ª


    He heard the sound of horses behind him.


    Haruto glanced back.


    An entire royal escort was following him.


    "THE PRINCESS HAS CHOSEN HER KNIGHT!"


    "PROTECT HIM AT ALL COSTS!"


    Haruto screamed.


    ---


    Back to the Present ¨C Haruto''s Regret


    Haruto rubbed his temples.


    "I should have let those bandits take her."


    Emilia sighed. "And yet, here we are."


    Haruto twitched violently. "STOP SAYING THAT."


    "Regardless, I am still waiting for you to accept your role, Haruto."


    "I AM NOT YOUR KNIGHT!"


    "Yet here we are."


    Haruto slammed his head on the table.


    "I hate it here."

 Chapter 23: I Accidentally Invaded a Kingdom, and Now Another King Wants Me to Marry His Daughter?!

    Haruto had suffered many disasters in this world.


    [?] Accidentally became the Demon King.


    [?] Accidentally started a war.


    [?] Accidentally got engaged to a Demon Lord.


    [?] Accidentally invaded a neighboring kingdom.


    And now?


    Now, he was sitting in the royal palace of Alveria, staring in horror as another king tried to arrange his marriage.


    Haruto buried his face in his hands.


    "I hate everything."


    ---


    Alveria''s Reaction to Haruto Becoming the Demon King


    The moment Princess Emilia returned to Alveria, she had immediately reported the news.


    Her father, King Reginald of Alveria, had sat in stunned silence for a full minute before finally speaking:


    "Wait¡­ so Haruto, the man who ran away from being your knight, is now the Demon King?"


    "Yes, Father," Emilia said solemnly.


    The royal court erupted into chaos.


    "THIS IS TERRIBLE!" one noble shouted.


    "THE DEMONS HAVE A HUMAN KING?!"


    "HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!"


    King Reginald rubbed his temples. "Explain it again. Slowly."


    Emilia took a deep breath. "Haruto somehow defeated the previous Demon King in a duel¡ªby accident, apparently¡ªand now the demons worship him."


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    The entire court froze.


    "By accident?"


    "Yes."


    The king stared blankly.


    Then, after another long pause¡ª


    "Fascinating."


    ---


    Alveria''s New Political Strategy: Make Haruto Family


    At first, Alveria''s leadership was unsure what to do.


    If Haruto, a human, was now leading the Demon Kingdom, was that a threat or an opportunity?


    For days, the royal advisors debated.


    Then, everything changed when news arrived that Haruto had ''led'' a march on Alveria''s rival kingdom.


    To the outside world, it looked like a bold military move.


    To King Reginald, it was proof of Haruto''s power.


    The king nodded to himself.


    "A human ruling demons¡­ and now showing his strength on the battlefield¡­"


    He smirked.


    "I have made my decision."


    He stood up dramatically.


    "If we cannot fight him, we shall make him family!"


    The court gasped.


    "You don''t mean¡ª!"


    "Yes!" the king declared. "We shall offer him Princess Emilia''s hand in marriage!"


    The nobles burst into applause.


    "TRULY, OUR KING IS A GENIUS!"


    ---


    Back to the Present ¨C Haruto''s New Nightmare


    Haruto sat frozen in the royal banquet hall of Alveria, staring at King Reginald.


    The king was smiling at him like a proud father.


    And across from him, Princess Emilia sat stiffly, looking like she had just been handed the most stressful responsibility of her life.


    The table was covered in a massive feast.


    The nobles watched with excitement.


    And the worst part?


    Haruto had just been told, very matter-of-factly, that he was expected to marry Princess Emilia.


    "...I''m sorry. What."


    The king chuckled. "You heard me, King Haruto!"


    "DON''T CALL ME THAT!"


    "You are the Demon King, and we, the proud kingdom of Alveria, would be honored to strengthen ties with your rule."


    Haruto''s eye twitched violently.


    "SINCE WHEN AM I A ''DEMON''?!"


    "You rule the demons, don''t you?"


    "AGAINST MY WILL!"


    "Yet here we are."


    Haruto grabbed his own face, shaking.


    "WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT?!"


    ---


    Haruto Tries to Refuse (Fails Instantly, Again)


    "Alright, NO. I am NOT marrying Princess Emilia." Haruto stood up. "I refuse."


    The king nodded wisely.


    "A strong ruler should never be forced into marriage. I respect that."


    Haruto exhaled in relief.


    Finally.


    Someone understood.


    Then the king said¡ª


    "Therefore, we shall hold a Grand Royal Engagement Tournament!"


    Haruto froze.


    "...What."


    "The princess will compete in a series of trials to prove she is worthy of your hand!"


    The nobles erupted into cheers.


    Haruto screamed.


    "THAT''S NOT WHAT I MEANT!"


    ---


    The Harem War Escalates Again


    Before Haruto could process his impending doom, Lilia giggled.


    "Oh my~. So the humans are finally joining the competition?"


    Sylphiel smiled serenely. "It seems another challenger has entered the fray."


    "IT IS NOT A CHALLENGE!" Haruto screamed. "IT IS NOT A COMPETITION!"


    Emberis grinned. "Hah! If we''re deciding Haruto''s queen through combat, I''m winning this."


    "THERE SHOULD BE NO COMPETITION AT ALL!"


    Fel snickered. "Boss, I think at this point, you should just embrace it."


    "I WILL NEVER EMBRACE IT!"


    Emilia stood up, determination blazing.


    "I refuse to lose to any of you."


    Haruto collapsed onto the table.


    "I hate it here."


    ---


    Haruto''s New Horrible Realization


    "Let me get this straight."


    "I ''conquered'' a kingdom by accident."


    "I am now considered both the Demon King and a ''Hero King.''"


    "Another woman has joined the harem war."


    "And now a royal tournament is being held to decide my wife?!"


    The entire room nodded.


    Haruto slumped forward.


    "I hate my life."

 Chapter 24: I Tried to Sabotage My Own Engagement Tournament, and Now More Women Want to Marry Me?!

    Haruto had survived many disasters.


    [?] Accidentally became the Demon King.


    [?] Accidentally started a war.


    [?] Accidentally invaded a kingdom.


    [?] Accidentally got betrothed to Princess Emilia.


    And now?


    Now he was staring in horror at the official announcement of his own engagement tournament.


    A giant golden banner hung across the city square:


    "THE GRAND ROYAL ENGAGEMENT TOURNAMENT OF KING HARUTO!"


    Haruto gripped his head, shaking.


    "WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?!"


    ---


    The Tournament Rules (That Haruto Never Agreed To)


    The royal announcer stood atop a balcony, addressing a massive crowd of cheering people.


    "The rules of the Grand Royal Engagement Tournament are simple!"


    "Princess Emilia and any willing challengers shall compete in a series of trials! The winner shall become King Haruto''s rightful bride!"


    The crowd erupted into applause.


    Haruto internally screamed.


    "I AM NOT MARRYING ANYONE!"


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    "Yet here we are!" someone shouted.


    Haruto threw his hands up in frustration.


    ---


    Haruto''s First Sabotage Attempt (Fails Instantly)


    "Alright," Haruto muttered, rubbing his temples. "I just need to make this tournament look so bad that no one wants to participate."


    His plan was simple.


    He would design the dumbest, most impossible trials in history.


    No woman would want to compete.


    No competition meant no tournament.


    No tournament meant no marriage.


    Perfect.


    "Excuse me!" Haruto shouted, marching toward the royal announcer. "I have decided on the tournament trials!"


    The announcer nodded eagerly.


    "Of course, Your Majesty! What trials shall be included?"


    Haruto smirked.


    "Trial One! Contestants must climb the tallest mountain in the kingdom¡­ with no supplies!"


    The nobles gasped.


    The announcer hesitated. "Uh¡­ alright¡­"


    "Trial Two!" Haruto continued. "Contestants must wrestle a fully grown dragon¡­ and win!"


    The crowd whispered excitedly.


    "Trial Three!" Haruto grinned. "Contestants must make me a sandwich¡­ WHILE BALANCING ON A RAGING STAMPEDE OF WILD BEASTS!"


    The crowd went completely silent.


    Haruto crossed his arms, smug.


    "There. That should do it."


    Then¡ª


    The crowd erupted into even louder cheers.


    "HE TRULY IS A GENIUS!"


    "ONLY THE STRONGEST WOMAN CAN STAND AT HIS SIDE!"


    "LONG LIVE KING HARUTO!"


    Haruto froze.


    "No. No, no, no¡ª"


    "SPLENDID!" the announcer declared. "The tournament shall begin tomorrow!"


    Haruto fell to his knees.


    "I hate everything."


    ---


    And Then More Women Showed Up


    Just when Haruto thought things couldn''t get worse¡ª


    A trumpet blared in the distance.


    "ANNOUNCING! A NEW CHALLENGER HAS ARRIVED!"


    Haruto turned his head slowly.


    A carriage arrived, flanked by armored knights.


    The door opened¡ª


    And out stepped a tall, elegant woman with silver hair and piercing golden eyes.


    She smiled confidently.


    "King Haruto, I have come for your hand!"


    Haruto choked.


    "WHO ARE YOU?!"


    "I am Duchess Rosaria of the Northern Empire!"


    "WHY ARE YOU HERE?!"


    "To compete, of course!"


    Haruto grabbed his own head, screaming.


    "WHY DOES EVERY WOMAN IN THIS WORLD WANT TO MARRY ME?!"


    ---


    The Harem War Escalates Again


    Lilia smirked from the balcony.


    "Oh my~. A new challenger?"


    Sylphiel nodded serenely. "It seems our dear husband attracts even nobility."


    "I AM NOT YOUR HUSBAND!" Haruto yelled.


    Emberis grinned. "Well, at least this means more competition. I welcome the challenge!"


    Fel leaned on the railing, smirking. "Boss, I think you''re gonna need a bigger castle soon."


    "I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THIS!"


    Princess Emilia stepped forward, eyes burning with determination.


    "I will not back down!" she declared. "I shall prove my worth!"


    Haruto collapsed onto a chair.


    "I hate my life."


    ---


    Haruto''s Final Realization


    "So let me get this straight."


    "I tried to sabotage my own tournament."


    "Instead, it became even more popular."


    "New women are joining the competition."


    "And now I have to deal with an empire watching me too?!"


    The entire room nodded.


    Haruto groaned.


    "I swear, I''m going to run away and live in a cave."


    Lilia patted his shoulder.


    "Oh, darling, you say the cutest things~."


    Haruto collapsed onto the table.


    "I hate it here."


    <blockquote>


    </blockquote>

 Chapter 25: I Tried to Escape the Tournament, and Now Even More Women Want to Marry Me?!

    <blockquote>


    Haruto was trapped.


    He had tried to sabotage his own engagement tournament.


    He had tried to convince everyone it was a terrible idea.


    He had even tried to run away (again).


    And now?


    Now, even more women had joined the competition.


    Haruto buried his face in his hands.


    "I hate everything."


    ---


    Haruto''s Final Escape Plan (Fails Instantly, Again)


    Haruto waited until nightfall.


    The tournament would start tomorrow.


    If he wanted to avoid the nightmare ahead, he had to leave now.


    Step 1: Slip past the guards.


    Step 2: Steal a horse.


    Step 3: Run into the mountains and never return.


    Foolproof.


    Haruto snuck through the castle hallways, staying in the shadows.


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    Alright, just gotta get to the stables¡­


    Then¡ª


    "Going somewhere, dear?"


    Haruto froze.


    Slowly¡ªmechanically¡ªhe turned his head.


    And there stood Lilia, smiling sweetly.


    "I SWEAR TO THE GODS, HOW DO YOU ALWAYS FIND ME?!"


    "Oh, darling, you''re so predictable~."


    Haruto internally screamed.


    ---


    The Next Morning ¨C The Tournament Begins


    The sun rose over the city.


    A massive crowd gathered in the royal arena.


    Flags bearing Haruto''s face were being waved.


    Trumpets blared.


    And at the center of it all¡ª


    Haruto stood on a massive balcony, completely dead inside.


    "I refuse to be here."


    "Yet here you are~." Lilia giggled.


    "STOP SAYING THAT!"


    The royal announcer stepped forward.


    "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WELCOME TO THE GRAND ROYAL ENGAGEMENT TOURNAMENT!"


    The crowd erupted into cheers.


    "LET THE COMPETITION TO WIN KING HARUTO''S HAND BEGIN!"


    Haruto internally screamed.


    ---


    The Contestants (Haruto''s Nightmare Grows)


    One by one, the competitors entered the arena.


    Haruto felt his stomach drop.


    First¡ªPrincess Emilia, standing tall in her royal armor.


    "I shall win this fairly," she declared.


    Then¡ªLilia, grinning mischievously.


    "Oh my, how exciting~."


    Then¡ªSylphiel, the Elf Queen, radiating elegance.


    "It is only natural for me to stand at my beloved''s side."


    Then¡ªEmberis, cracking her knuckles.


    "I shall take my prize by force."


    Then¡ªFel, looking extremely amused.


    "I don''t even need to try, boss. I already live with you~."


    Haruto whimpered.


    And then¡ª


    MORE women entered the arena.


    ---


    More Challengers Appear (Haruto''s Nightmare Worsens)


    Haruto blinked in horror as even more contestants stepped forward.


    Duchess Rosaria of the Northern Empire.


    "A king should wed a noblewoman. I shall claim him."


    Lady Carmilla, a vampire noble.


    "A Demon King must have a Queen of the Night."


    A masked swordswoman.


    "¡­I have no reason to be here."


    "THEN LEAVE!" Haruto screamed.


    The crowd cheered louder.


    Haruto grabbed his own face, shaking.


    "HOW IS THIS EVEN HAPPENING?!"


    ---


    Haruto''s Last Attempt to End the Tournament (Fails Instantly, Again)


    "ALRIGHT, LISTEN!" Haruto shouted. "THIS TOURNAMENT IS STUPID! I REFUSE TO PARTICIPATE!"


    The crowd gasped.


    The announcer chuckled.


    "Oh, Your Majesty. You are not the one competing."


    Haruto froze.


    "...What."


    "You are the grand prize."


    Haruto choked on air.


    "EXCUSE ME?!"


    "THE WINNER SHALL CLAIM YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE!"


    The crowd erupted into cheers.


    Haruto fell to his knees.


    "I hate it here."


    ---


    </blockquote>