《Is it Wrong to Put Skyrim in Danmachi》


 Chapter 1

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    Chapter 1


    Danmachi is a strange world.


    The path to become strong here relies heavily upon skills, skills which are often only granted to you by factors nearly completely out of your control. From who you were in your past life, to your current lineage and even to bullshit like the story that forms around your actions in this life. The only elements within your control are the accomplishments you can garner and how you display them to the world.


    The problem with that is, it''s a lot easier to garner accomplishments that impress the gods when you have a skill in the first place.


    Which of course brings you right back to past lives and lineage, and if you are say -like me- spontaneously teleported to the Danmachi world without warning, then congratulations. You have no past life to pull bullshit like the Argonaut skill from, and your lineage is limited to your family''s history of heart disease.


    Nice!


    So how do you fix this? Generally you just don''t. The best thing to do would be to settle down, use whatever skills you have to ply a trade and just live out your life in boring Isekai hell -where they barely even have fucking showers- before finally dying well below the life expectancy of wherever you were yoinked from.


    But¡­ if you''re like me and have the patience of a raccoon on crack (and thus the total inability to deal with medieval society) then there can only be one option.


    Fake it until you make it.


    Manipulate events and people in whatever way you can to try and build up a larger than life legend around yourself. Save people, show no more weakness than is necessary to convince people that you''re still just like them and more importantly than anything; grind.


    Like money, strength in this world is like rolling a boulder down a hill, once you''re on the right track, everything becomes easier. Garner the strength to create achievements to get more strength. It''s a cycle that infests not just the skill system of Danmachi, but also its stat and level system. This cycle has only one guiding principle, keep grinding.


    And for an MMO enjoyer like me? Well that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.


    As for how I can apply this in my current situation? Well I''m firmly in the ''manipulate events and people'' stage of things, and in that regard not all attention is created equally, at least not when it comes to stories here.


    To be blunt, the story obsessed Divines of Genkai are basically your best bet if you want to start things off with a bang. They''re a bit difficult to manipulate given that they can sense lies, so you need to keep things pretty simple; know your target audience, appeal to their sense of aesthetics, their view of the world and then hit them right in their strike zone.


    And if after that you just so happen to have some otherworldly knowledge that you can drop to blow their perspective of you out of proportion?


    Well that sounds like a fantastic start.


    All of which is why I snuck into an abandoned church last night and silently knocked on the door to the basement, before promptly camping out the night on one of the church''s dusty pews.


    Side note, talking around absolute lie detectors is a pain in the ass, I could have just showed up at dawn and pretended to sleep on the pew. Instead I had to stay the entire night just to give off the right impression and talk around the problem that might come up from my little white lie.


    As I said, pain in the ass.


    Still, any moment now my short stack goddess is going to come up those stairs, find my slumbering form and shake me awake. Normally that would lead to accusations of stalking, but Hestia in the anime doesn''t really have a sense of danger and is more about poorly thought out displays of commitment than anything. Even if she does become suspicious, the dedication on display should be enough to move her regardless.


    As for why did I pick Hestia and not someone like -only insane people looking to be brainwashed pick Freya- Loki? For one I have no idea whether I''d even be able to get through Loki''s front door, being the top dogs gives them a lot of leeway in recruiting. If I were them, I''d be setting up predesignated recruitment drives, not talking to every schmuck who walks in off the street.


    For two, breaking out of their shadow and garnering accomplishments that won''t just be shrugged off as mere examples of my familia''s power would be damn hard even within the familia, nevermind outside of it. My divine would have a hundred other children, many far more talented and interesting than me by sheer virtue of being around for longer.


    Which is just about the exact opposite of what I''m going for here.


    I outright refuse to be a goon.


    With Hestia on the other hand; she has no children, her familia has no glory and any accomplishments I garner under her banner would be entirely my own. Hell, the mere act of raising up her banner myself is an accomplishment. As her child I wouldn''t be a grunt, but the goddamn captain. And unlike Danmachi''s protagonist I actually want to be respected, so damn if I''m not gonna make that title mean something.


    Besides, given what I''m risking just by entering Onrario, I kinda need to set my personal strength as a top priority, and I can always-


    -Is that singing?


    I can''t make out the words as distant as it is, but the tone is oddly beautiful. Before I even registered it I was sitting up, listening in raptured silence as I stared at the door the sound was coming from.


    It was a sad song, one that conveys longing and... hope? Despite how little of it I can make out, it''s almost-


    The door opened and I stared uncomprehendingly into the face of the goddess Hestia, her mouth still open as she freezes in turn, her beautiful song cutting off with a, "Uwah?"


    It took me a good long few seconds to realise that my plan of letting her wake me up was entirely out the window as she stared at me in confusion.


    "Ah..." I state intelligently, blinking. "Lady Hestia?"


    "Yes!" She answered with surprising excitement, stepping forward and leaning in to peer at me with an innocent expression of curiosity. "Hmmm... you don''t look homeless and you''re nice and fed so... I have no idea what you could be here for! Unless! You want to be my child?"


    Her expression brightened so much that I felt a smile creep up my face before I even knew what was happening. "Oh! Did you spend the night waiting for me?" She exclaimed.


    "I... yes, I tried knocking last night, but I don''t think you heard me." Very quietly, but she didn''t need to know that, and I was still struggling to regain some level of equilibrium in the face of her godlike enthusiasm. "I tried waiting, but I guess I fell asleep at some point; I hope you don''t mind."


    "MIND!? OF COURSE I DON''T!" She shouted gleefully, running over to me and taking my hand. Before I could work out what was happening, I was on my feet and she was zipping around my form, inspecting every inch of me.


    "My first child haha! Oooh you''re pretty built and pretty cute too, oh! And dedicated enough to wait the night for me? Uwah... you children sure are forward in what you want." She clutched her cheeks and hopped from side to side in front of me.


    Divines are... a lot.


    "To make the most of our short lives, we must be bold." I state softly, finally stopping the goddess''s sugar rush as she blinks up at me with starry eyes. Chance. "So I''ll be bold here too then Lady Hestia; my name is Elric Carne and I want to join your Familia."


    I smiled gently, entirely unready for the kettle noises that promptly burst out of Hestia as the goddess vibrated in place. I was also not ready for the flying tackle hug that promptly ensued.


    "YES! Yes, yes, YES~!" The goddess shouted in total excitement as she ground her assets into every inch of me she could reach. Keeping up my reassuring big brother act, I simply chuckled and returned the hug with gentle pats on the back.


    This bubbling tea kettle of a goddess will not win. I won''t let her drag me into her pace; I''m going for the cool heroic archetype here, nothing can bother me, nothing can throw me off my game. No matter how bubbly she is.


    Her head finally popped up to stare at me with the brightest smile I''d ever seen, like joy and happiness given form, like condensed cuteness shot like a fucking hyper beam. I''m not going to lie men, this smile? It came close.


    "Ehe~ My first child... What a great morni- AHHHH!" And then she suddenly screamed, right into my face. "MY JOB!" Bursting out of my arms she wheeled around in confusion, glancing at me several times as she seemingly fretted over what to do with me, before finally freezing in place, a wide grin on her face.


    "Umu~ I''m sure the boss won''t mind if I take just one day off for my first child!" I blinked, for a moment almost getting caught up in her antics before I felt my stomach clench and I felt it for the second time¡­


    Chance.


    "I''m sure they won''t." You get the deal by now, gentle smile, gentle voice, big brother energy all around. "But even if they do, I have enough savings to support us before I can get started in the dungeon." Reliable and caring boys, reliable and caring; that''s the vibe of today''s performance.


    Hestia''s smile returns with a vengeance and- yup, she''s hugging me again.


    "Ehehe... You''re so reliable Elric-kun!" She giggled happily. "Oooh what do you want to do first? Tell each other our likes and dislikes? Uwah, I just really want to get to know my new child!"


    I hummed thoughtfully. "How about we talk about it over a cup of tea? I have some bags in my pack, or we can stop by a place I know just outside of this district."


    The goddess hopped back, before leaning forward and smiling up at me. "Trying to get into my bedroom already, Elric-kun~? You''re so forward..." Her expression turned impish as she fixed me with a half-lidded stare.


    "The choice is yours Lady Hestia." I spoke calmly, tossing the ball back into her court.


    "Umu... you''re too composed Elric-kun, girls won''t like you if you don''t let them tease you a little y''know?" She lectured, spinning on the balls of her feet and walking off, only pausing to glance over her shoulder. "You''re the first boy I''ve brought home, so behave, ne?"


    She bounced down the passage before I could respond, leaving me blinking in the wake of the goddess shaped tornado of bubbliness.


    In all likelihood, that was about as well as that encounter could have gone; I scored the right kind of impression with her and mostly resisted getting caught up in tempo. Chuckling to myself, I hoisted the large rucksack containing all the belongings I''d worked for since coming to this world and trooped after my chosen Goddess.


    Descending down the wrapping stone staircase, I found myself in a surprisingly cosy basement; it was small and perhaps too cramped, with various different living spaces blurred into a single room, but it was warm and it had a homely vibe that stopped me short and brought me back to my childhood.


    It was nostalgic. It was the very concept of home given form.


    I blinked, trying to cut off the feeling, but it was oddly stubborn. A knot formed in my throat the more I tried to resist whatever divine bullshit was going on here, after a long moment I simply resolved to ignore it as best I could.


    "You''re missing home too huh?" The goddess standing amidst it all called out, her eyes seemingly seeing straight through me. "It''ll get better. In fact, we''ll make it better! Because that''s what being part of a familia is all about~"


    Pausing on the steps, I let the weight of those words settle on my shoulders, the sheer gravity of a goddess of hearth and home telling me that she wanted to make a home with me¡­ Then I shook my head, my mind was my own, there was a very good reason I didn''t even consider Freya.


    "For now, this home is already more than enough." I offered politely. "Thank you for having me, Lady Hestia."


    "Mou! You don''t need to be so formal Elric-kun, you''re making me feel old."


    "My apologies, do you have a pot for tea anywhere?" There was a kitchen in the mixed space, but I couldn''t see-


    "Hey." Hestia was suddenly right there in front of me, her wide blue eyes staring into mine with an intensity that I hadn''t seen before. Which was definitely worrying. "Do you know what I want to do right now Elric-kun?"


    I swallowed. "Drink tea and chat?"


    "No." She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards a ratty double bed. "You are my first and only child... so you''ll forgive me if I''m a little impatient... right Elric-kun?"


    I stopped, pulling her hand to turn her around. "Always." I smiled.


    She smiled back. "Then get that shirt off and get on the bed! I don''t have one of those fancy Falna chairs, so we''ll just have to make do with this!" She announced, tugging me again to get me going.


    Giving her a wry grin, I set down my pack and stripped off my upper half. "So I just lay face down?"


    "That''s right~" She sing-songed, pushing me onto the bed. "You''re surprisingly well informed Elric-kun..."


    "A lot of the people where I came from were more versed than you''d expect." I teased my knowledge, knowing the strange answer would take her off guard. Oddly she didn''t react beyond humming as she swung her legs over mine and settled her bottom on top of my own.


    Gloved fingers traced their way up the small of my back as soft whispers of an alien language tickled my ears, whatever she was doing back there, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up in anticipation.


    "Do you know this part, Elric-kun?" The words shunted themselves into my mind as a droplet of eternity fell into the small of my back.


    For the briefest of moments I could feel something more, a spark of celerity that went so far beyond humanity that I can''t even begin to put it into words¡­ and then Hestia pulled, and suddenly I was barely even human.


    Having your soul pulled from your body -even just slightly- is like dangling off a cliff; held up from an unfathomable abyss by the grip of a goddess you barely even know. And here I was trying to manipulate said goddess¡­


    I almost laughed, this was a twist I actually didn''t see coming.


    "Now that I''ve got you right where I want you¡­" Hestia''s words came across as still cheery and light hearted, but there was a layer of suspicion to them that hadn''t been there before. "How did you find me Elric-kun~?"


    "Waiting until my soul is bared before asking the difficult questions huh?" I couldn''t help it, I actually laughed; being interrogated by the cutesy anime Goddess was so far beyond my predictions that I couldn''t keep the smile from my face.


    I could feel why she waited. My soul was quite literally in her hands and it felt like if she let go now, I''d be falling somewhere. It was a fascinating feeling that shot adrenaline through me like nothing else, but more than that, it presented the perfect chance to skew Hestia''s perception of me with some tactically revealed knowledge.


    "I knew where to find you from the very moment I came into this world."


    Glancing over my shoulder, I chuckled internally at her uncomprehending expression as she cycled through various stages of confusion.


    "E-Eh?" She recovered in record time and proceeded to slap my back. "Mou! I don''t know how you''re messing up my goddess powers, but that isn''t funny! I only descended a few months ago y''know; so you''re not as smart as you think you are mister!"


    This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.


    "Ah, but I only came into this world a couple months back." I taunted, smirking back at her.


    Oh, her brow crinkles really cutely when she frowns. "Umu¡­ you''re going to keep messing with me aren''t you? You big meanie!"


    "Alrighty then¡­ where were you born originally?" She smirked a smug Hestia smile.


    "London."


    "Mou! What country?"


    "England."


    She slapped me again.


    "So violent~!" I teased.


    "Continent!"


    "Europe."


    "Year!?" She asked incredulously.


    "The turn of the second millenia." Looking back, I smiled a smug smile right into her gawking face. Taking her silence as my victory, I went on. "In case you haven''t worked it out yet, I''m not from this world"


    "...How did you get here?"


    "No idea, I just blinked and there I was, nude." I play up the word, trying and sadly failing to tease the virgin goddess.


    She pouted. "How did you know where to find me then?"


    "In my world, this world was a story that you appeared in, it was accurate enough for me to find the ruined district of Orario and find your church."


    "A story¡­" She turned my words over, staring at me in contemplation. "And what are your intentions now that you''re here?"


    "Become a hero, pick up from where the last generation left off and save the world." Best part? I actually meant that shit, just not in the classic way.


    "You¡­" She pulled up short, staring at me in disbelief. "You actually mean that-? No wait, the story you mentioned¡­ how did it end?" Her eyes turned intense.


    "It didn''t, it wasn''t finished by the time I arrived here."


    "Then¡­" She trailed off, but the unasked question was clear.


    "The clues are all there; your future child -a boy named Bell Cranel who was raised by Zeus- has all the hallmarks and set up for a hero with an impossible challenge before him." I explained simply. "At best, the world will have lost too much before the end¡­ I want to make it easier."


    "Why?"


    "Because I''m a noble and selfless soul?" I lie through my fucking teeth.


    "Liar!" Her slap hit a little harder this time. "Mou, your first lie and it''s for something like this¡­!"


    "I''m allowed some secrets aren''t I?" I chuckled.


    "F-Fine damn it!" She pouted. "You¡­ you said he was raised by Zeus? That old man is¡­?"


    "Yeah, still a perv." I laugh, choking a little as she pinches my side. "Oi, you''re getting a little too abusive there woman!"


    "Then don''t talk about him like that! Only we''re allowed to talk about him like that!" She protested weakly, sitting up on my ass and crossing her arms over her chest, frowning down at me.


    "Only if you stop slapping and pinching me."


    "Sure -fine- whatever!" I could feel her pout. "You said he was raising this Bell child right?"


    "Yeah."


    "Why?"


    "He was- is the child of one of Zeus'' children, and after being driven out of Orario I don''t think he had much else to do." I gave a quick backstory.


    "Driven?"


    "You don''t know?" She gave me a look. "Weird, I always assumed."


    "Mou, what''s weird is that people I don''t know are making assumptions about me because I''m apparently a character in a story!" Ah there it is, the turn away and pout combo. It was¡­ adorable.


    "A warranted concern, and it brings up some interesting multiversal theories that I don''t mind explai- Ah!" Another pinch. "Okay, chill¡­ Zeus being driven off right? I don''t know how much is known, but Zeus and Hera''s familias got so deep into the dungeon that they got it into their heads that they could finish-"


    "-The three great quests, that''s common knowledge Elric-kun." She interrupted quietly.


    "Then there''s not much else to it, they beat two, failed on the last. The dregs of the familia that survived were driven out of Orario by Loki and Freya." I couldn''t help but let my tone turn a little bitter here. "...Their grand reward for putting their lives on the line to try and save this world."


    It seemed Hestia shared my reticence, since she too turned quiet from the topic.


    "Could we finish up this Falna thing soon? I don''t mind answering any of your questions, but I can''t say I enjoy having part of my soul outside my body." Navigating this conversation while feeling like I was dangling off that particular cliff was taking some creative uses of willpower. Hell, at this point one could say that I''ve gotten oddly used to the feeling and was just mainlining adrenaline at this point


    Which probably isn''t a good thing.


    She blushed furiously, staring down at the portion of my soul that was still in her hands, a small, "uwah," escaping her.


    It was pretty cute.


    "I-ah, yup! Can totally do that for you Elric-kun! Right away!" Relaxing back onto the bed, I tried my best to stay still as Hestia worked, tracing shallow lines across my back that tickled of rainbows. And yes I know that comparison doesn''t make sense, but amazingly magic does not feel normal.


    "Umu, time for the last little~" I felt something push my -me?- soul into place? Strangely it felt¡­ cramped? as if it didn''t quite fit anymore; like I''d just polished off an entire christmas dinner and tried to fit into my jeans, only everywhere. "Push!" Hestia sing-songed, and suddenly everything clicked and became so much more.


    "Holy shit, I can fence." I blinked back to full awareness, knowledge I thought I''d lost coming back in full and suddenly making itself very known.


    "Eh?"


    "Ah¡­ nothing, don''t worry about it." I laughed it off, trying to process the fact that I now had vastly upgraded memory. "How''s it looking back there? I get anything good?"


    Hestia sighed. "Elric-kun... you need to tone down those expectations! Almost every adventurer under the sun starts off with nothing but their base stats, you''re just going to get let down if yo¡­ th- eh?"


    I laughed.


    "Mou!" She hit me.


    "Ah, my goddess is abusing me, send help please!"


    "Shut up!" A double palmed slap struck my back. "Shut up! shut up-! SHUUT UP~!" Three more swiftly followed.


    I didn''t stop laughing.


    "Uuuh, you''re such a meanie¡­" She whined.


    "Woman, you''re the one hitting me." I chuckled. "Plus, I think threatening someone with their own soul is pretty mean."


    "Hmph!" Hestia audibly hmph''d me, making me blink. "I had to! Hephaestus warned me about suspicious mortals."


    "She made you promise to be careful?"


    "Yeah! We had this whole big conversation and she- Mou!" Another hit. "You and your dumb stalker knowledge!"


    "I can''t exactly help that!" I protested. "How was I supposed to know I''d suddenly wind up here, and isn''t it better that I''m upfront with this kind of thing?"


    "How! You''ve got all this knowledge on me and- these things are supposed to be private!"


    "True -and I feel bad about that- but the circumstances are outside of either of our control, I know these things and nothing is going to change that." I explain quite rationally. "The only choice we have is whether or not I try to hide that knowledge¡­ and the way I see it, that''ll just come between us as you wonder what I''m hiding from you."


    "So, I should just be bold, right?" I ask cheekily.


    "¡­" Hestia pouted. "You are so not cute Elric-kun."


    "Yeah, I''m more of a handsome manly man." I bragged jokingly, though a hidden part of myself winced the second the words left my mouth. The adrenaline was wearing off and I could feel how much my control had slipped in the meanwhile. Most of it was just teasing Hestia, but I''d also probably said a bit too much. Still¡­ I apparently have a skill now, so perhaps it all worked out for the best?


    She sighed, exhaling a truly prodigious amount of air as she deflated and grabbed a sheet of parchment. "You wanted your stats right? Then face down mister. And after this, we''ll see if you can explain this skill of yours."


    I hummed, putting aside my lapse in control and focusing instead on the parchment as it stuck uncomfortably to my skin, the peculiar sensation of wet-yet-not sending a shiver down my spine. "We''ll see."


    "Here." The goddess bluntly said, holding the parchment out over my shoulder.


    ? ?? ?? ?


    Elric Carne


    Lvl 1


    Str | I 000 |


    Vit | I 000 |


    Dex | I 000 |


    Agl | I 000 |


    Mag | I 000 |


    | Magic |


    | Skills |


    [Qahnaarin] The bearer''s existence in this world is a miracle, their steps an impossibility; they face this new world with the stars'' guidance written upon their soul.


    ? ?? ?? ??


    J-J-JACKPOT!


    I knew telling Hestia about my world would pull something out of my ass, but holy fucking based Elder Scrolls! Tod Howard you beautiful, terrible dev.


    "Hoh¡­" I smiled calmly, knowing full well that it would drive Hestia up the wall.


    "Hoh?" She demanded. "That''s it? How are you so calm you-!" I really couldn''t help the laugh that burst out of my throat, I promise.


    After what felt like two ''calming'' breathing exercises too many, she finally heaved out a response, "So¡­ you know what this is then? I really hope you''ll be forthcoming with your explanation Elric-kun~?"


    "You don''t kno- Okay, calm down." I laugh it off before she can pinch me this time. "It''s something from my world, and if I''m right, it''s really quite good."


    "Ooooh¡­" She perked up. "So what does it do?"


    "I obviously don''t know the specifics from just this." I explained. "But Qahnaarin is a word I recognise from a certain story. In that story it''s dragon tongue."


    "Dragon tongue¡­" Hestia whispered distantly, probably something to do with the existence of the world ending black dragon that just so happened to be roaming this world as well. Ah Alduin, I''m going to milk the very idea of you for clout aren''t I? "What does it mean?"


    "Don''t know." I answered truthfully. "I only remember that the protagonist of that story was named that by a dragon. Not sure how your Falna knows about it to be honest, I doubt I''d have remembered even this much without the Falna boosting my memory." I trail off, leaving the unsaid question up in the air.


    "The Falna is¡­" She trailed off uncertainly, not finishing the thought. "Actually that bit doesn''t matter." She tried to laugh it off, but I could hazard a guess at what she was going to say regardless. "The point is, normally a god needs to give form to skills during their creation, but here¡­"


    I hummed, thinking over the implication and ultimately setting it aside. After getting the old boot into another world, I couldn''t really consider anything about myself to be normal; the only real question was whether that abnormality was good or bad, and here?


    Well, free skills are always good.


    "Don''t you also need high class experience for skills?" I fished for slightly more info. I knew certain races could have skills from the jump, but the actualities of the Falna were frustratingly vague in the anime.


    "Excelia." She corrected me absent-mindedly. "And we normally do but¡­ Mou~ can you not be normal for two seconds?" She whined.


    "Please, we both know you love this." She slapped my back weakly as I laughed. "You Gods and your boredom."


    "I won''t stand for this slander!" She declared with a pout, before coughing and looking away. "But I might consider forgiving you if you tell me about this story¡­"


    I shifted a bit uncomfortably at that, not really sure where to begin given the sum total of¡­ well, the drug fueled frenzy that is Elder Scrolls. Also there was a Goddess sitting on me and while she did have a rather plush ass, the position was bound to get uncomfortable if I spent the next however many hours explaining what I remembered of Elder Scrolls lore.


    "Skyrim¡­" I turned the word over before ultimately deciding to go in from a top level. "It was like a story you could interact with, where you could play the role of the hero and make choices utilising¡­ really, really advanced books." She perked up at the concept, looking surprisingly- wait, no that isn''t surprising at all.


    Of course these neet Gods would be interesting in gaming.


    Deciding to strike while her interest was high, I gave her a rundown of the main story in Skyrim, explaining some of the systems when prodded, but always bringing it back to the main plot and thus Alduin. I could feel her shifting at the information, the parallel being laughably clear.


    This world had a large black dragon problem? I just so happened to have a skill named after a large black dragon slayer.


    It''s like poetry, it rhymes.


    Now give me more power.


    "And the skill?" She asked quietly and rather seriously. So I leaned around, making eye contact to convey my own seriousness in turn.


    "No idea." I held onto that seriousness for all of a second before I cracked up, laughing as the Goddess promptly fell off my back with a groan. Absolute lie detectors were bullshit and deserved to be messed with on principle.


    Eventually she turned a gimlet eye up at me. "You lied." She accused.


    "A bit." I agree.


    "A lot!" She raised an arm to try to hit me, but I scooted out of reach of her grabby little gremlin arms.


    "Elric~" She whined.


    "Alright." I said placatingly. "The skill mentions the star''s guidance right? The game had a similar system, where your character''s skills were listed out in a star system."


    "A skill of Skills?" Hestia breathed.


    "Potentially, like I explained before, Skyrim had a few different power systems. I could have some of that, all of it, or it might be something else entirely. Hence why ''I don''t know''." I finished with a smile. "You see anything in the skill; stars maybe?"


    "Eeeeh¡­" She gave off an almost dazed sounding exhale. "I- ah¡­ don''t remember? Ehe~"


    "A bit daunting huh?" I sympathised.


    Her eyes met mine, a surprisingly serious expression taking hold. "More than a bit¡­" She smiled. "But you''re my first child; you''re worth it."


    Ah... I really don''t have a response to that. Damn, this Goddess really is emotional whiplash personified huh?


    But I supposed I signed myself up for this.


    "Well, let''s just try some shit out, see what works."


    Thanks for reading this far, and thanks again if you decide to watch, comment or like the story, it all helps.


    A few things to mention, I find harems tend to dilute the story and take away from the meaningfulness of relationships so I''ll likely avoid that and just focus on one girl, not really sure which one yet, but we''ll see where the story goes.


    In regards to the Skyrim elements, no stealth archer stuff since that would be rather boring to write. Things like enchanting will be locked behind higher level magic gems, and the more complicated bits of alchemy will be limited by drop items, with the cool potions requiring some pretty high level drops as well. This is obviously to keep things at a sane level given that Skyrim is a bit nuts, casual multiplications of damage ahoy.


    I put all this in here now so people hopefully know what to expect.


    And well, that''s everything, so have a good one bois and girls.

 Chapter 2

    Chapter 2


    After figuring out what world I''d been drop kicked into, I pretty quickly came to a prediction on what my presence in the world could lead to. It went a little like this: something, something, butterfly effect, Bell is dead. This is then followed by something, something, big dragon kill everyone.


    And honestly? Probably an accurate conclusion to come to. Danmachi was clearly building to something big that the main character would play a central role in, and Bell? Well, he got saved by sheer random chance, a lot. Move his schedule off a bit and suddenly he''s not going to be saved by the random high level adventurers who just happened to be there for the fourth time in a row.


    Some might call that luck, but personally I call that bad writing, which is pretty tragic because I live here now.


    Regardless, if you take the logic to its natural conclusion, then suddenly it seems like a really good idea to just not be in Orario. It''s a lot harder to butterfly someone out of existence when you''ve got a hundred miles between you in a medieval age.


    Indeed, it all seemed like such a great fucking idea at first, but unfortunately I failed to account for one tiny little thing.


    This is a medieval age and I''m a monkey-brained gamer from the twenty-first century.


    I need stimulation, I crave it. I still haven''t even multi-tasked once since I got to this god forsaken land. I miss my two monitors, my memes and the sweet, sweet feeling of stimulation to fill the void.


    Which is all to say I got really, really bored and decided to just go ¡®fuck it, let''s risk this entire world for fun and profit''. Which, when put like that really makes me sound like a dick, but honestly? I put a lot of thought into what I would do and how I would do it, and after yesterday? I have rather high hopes.


    The idea of a Danmachi adventurer with the Skyrim system stacked on top is just kinda nutty.


    "Elric-kun~" Hestia''s whine brings me back to reality, as my Goddess wriggles around on the pew I dragged out behind the church for her. "I''m bored..."


    "I thought you wanted to watch." I remind her patiently, my hands unconsciously continuing to sacrifice yet more flowers to the dark gods of alchemy. Yes, it''s only been a day since I arrived at the church and already the grind has begun.


    We''d found out earlier that I did indeed have the skill system that I remembered from Skyrim, the constellations seemingly integrated into the Falna itself. Which naturally meant that the first thing to do was pick a shit ton of plants and sacrifice them in some old alchemy equipment Miach was willing to lend Hestia.


    Cool guy that one.


    The results thus far? About the same as if you never bothered to remember the plant combinations in Skyrim and just do the whole thing blind. You win some, you lose a lot.


    Unfortunately this isn''t a game world so I don''t get a magic ''make potion'' button, which means I''m doing all the crushing and grinding and cutting by hand. Which also means that despite the fact that I''d been at this for the entire morning, I had only made fifty or so potions of note corked in some glassware Miach had lent us on a loan. On top of that I was down to only a quarter of the rather large pile of ingredients I''d started with.


    This was improving -slowly- with what I hope is a sign of my skill levelling, but given that Hestia barely understands what''s going on with the constellations, I don''t even know what level of alchemy I started with. Probably either fifteen or twenty.


    But that brings me to the next problem; I can barely tell the poisons from the good shit and thus have no idea what these liquids do. I could stuff a vial of poison down a Goblin''s throat and it could do some weak DOT or tickle them for a minute for all I know.


    That was getting better fortunately, like with my actual production technique I was gradually improving all round; steadily increasing my budding ability to tell the difference between these potions by smell. How that works, no idea, but this one smells of cranberries and my gut is telling me that''s a bad thing.


    So into the poison pile it goes.


    "Mah~! That was before I knew how long this would take." Hestia complained. "And you keep getting distracted! It''s like you''re barely listening to me."


    That''s... kinda fair actually.


    "I did tell you it would probably be boring." Oh wait¡­


    "Lie!" Hestia jumped up, pointing at me indignantly. "You said ''Hestia come check out my amazing alchemy skills'' and then ran off to pick flowers!"


    "No, I said you can come check out my sick nasty alchemy skills later if you want." Even as I correct her my skill keeps me moving, grinding out the next failure that I dump into an ominously bubbling bucket.


    I really, really need to find a good place to dispose of that before it either explodes or corrodes the bucket and poisons the local water table.


    "That''s the same thing..." She whines.


    "Fine." I say, putting down the pestle and mortar. "You wanna do something fun?"


    "I want to learn more about my child." She shoots me a deadpan look.


    "Err- how about no?" I tease, though I end up nearly wincing as disappointment flashes across her face. As poor taste as it is to deny her, I abjectly can''t get into my past with her, my world- my personal history just isn''t hero origin material. "I was more thinking about trying the Falna thing again; I''ve levelled alchemy up at least once, so hopefully it''ll be a bit more clear."


    The disappointment slowly gives way to a feigned look of disinterest. "Well, if you insist¡­"


    I smile, trying to get Hestia to stop poking and prodding my Falna after we''d found how to open the constellation had actually taken some work. Apparently the language it was written in was completely foreign and I can''t read that shit either, so we were at a bit of a loss. Which -of course- made it way too interesting for a god like Hestia to resist poking at for several hours.


    It took me eventually just tossing her off to get her to stop. People have biological needs that can''t be met with a Goddess sitting on your ass.


    "C''mon Elric-kun I''m waiting!" She urged, in response I just showed her my filthy hands.


    "You''re a Goddess, have some patience." I chided her with a mature smile as I washed my hands with a trickle of water from the clean bucket.


    Hestia just pouted harder.


    "Mou, I''ve been patient! For an hour!"


    "Yeah, yeah¡­" I smirked as I took off my shirt and kneeled with my back turned to her pew. She hit my back lightly in response, before her interest got the better of her and her fingers began tracing the patterns engraved into my soul. She was leaned so close in that I could feel the warmth of her breath on my back.


    I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.


    "It''s changed!" She exclaimed.


    "Anything you can do with it?"


    "There''s something¡­" Her voice trailed off, her feather soft touches sending shivers down my spine. "I think you have those perk points you mentioned yesterday. It feels like..." I''d explained the basics of Skyrim levelling to her the day prior, but without reference material it felt like I''d only conveyed half the picture.


    "Potential." She whispered in a faint, far away voice. "This is amazing Elric-kun¡­"


    "I really am, aren''t I?" I chuckled as she faintly slapped my side. "Can you put it anywhere? And is there anything else?"


    She hummed again. "One of the constellations is brighter? Fuller? It feels like it''s over a fifth full. Other than that¡­" She adjusted me a little, pushing me around like she was a damn hairdresser. "No, I can''t see anything else that''s new; you were expecting those health or stamina point things, right?"


    I glance suspiciously over my shoulder. "You sure you didn''t miss anything?"


    "Ne." She gave me the gremlin eye, patent pending. "Are you really going to look down on a Goddess Elric-kun...?" She seemed awfully serious about this, so I looked her dead in the eye.


    "Yes." I deadpanned.


    "Mou!" She slapped me for what felt like the hundredth time. "My first child is such a meanie~"


    "And my Goddess is very abus-" I threw up my hands in surrender when she raised her hand again.


    "That''s what I thought~" She declared smugly. "And no, you don''t have those point thingies."


    I''d have to trust her on this, at least for now, but I was expecting... well something I guess. Then again, I suppose it did kind of make sense: how would hit points and stamina that wouldn''t even let you run for a minute translate into a world like Danmachi? And magic? Can I even use Skyrim magic?


    Asking the question didn''t make the answer magically arise from my soul, so I guess I''m on my own for that one. Oh wait-


    "Hestia, how many constellations are there?" I asked something I probably should have asked from the get-go.


    "Umu¡­" A rather cute noise of concentration rang out behind me before she announced, "Eighteen!"


    "So I do have magic then." I stated thoughtfully.


    "You''re still thinking about that?" She huffed. "I know we talked about this yesterday Elric-kun, but normal adventurers can only have a few spells. I don''t know if you can cast as many as you were talking about yesterday, but even just seeing three spells from a level one will draw attention."


    "I know, I know¡­" I rolled my eyes. "Skyrim magic is pretty weak late game anyway, I''m just thinking about my options here; having a healing spell alone would be nice."


    "...That would be reassuring." She admits softly.


    I hum in agreement. "I also want to see if it levels up my magic stat."


    "Maybe¡­" She said distractedly, before her tracing suddenly stopped. "I got it!" She exclaimed.


    "It?"


    "Your perk point! I can put it somewhere." She said smugly. "Ne, Elric-kun aren''t I amazing?"


    I sarcastically clapped for her. "How amazing you are my Goddess." So smug was she that she didn''t even hit me for my teasing.


    "Umu~" She agreed. "Now, where do you want this thing?"


    "Can you find the one-handed skill? For swords I mean."


    "Yup! I can do that for you, Elric-ku-" She cut off suddenly. "Eh! Why are there two?"


    "Are you going off feeling back there or something?" She nods and I can''t help but blink, levelling up really shouldn''t be this¡­ weird. "There''s two sword skills; one is one-handed, the other two-handed, go for the smaller one."


    "Ohh¡­" She exclaims, before a soft touch blossoms across my back and my mind shifts.


    "Oh." I joined her in amazement, I can''t exactly tell what just changed but I really want to stab something right now, specifically with a one-handed implement.


    "This is the damage perk right?" She asks curiously.


    "Hell yeah it is." I happily agree, still somewhat high on the feeling of power- my power. "Do I have another perk point? And is the second tier of that perk open yet?"


    "That''s¡­" Hestia trailed off, diving back into my Falna. "You have one more, and¡­"


    Anticipation filled me as-


    "I did it!" She announced her success cheerfully, and oh shit could I feel it.


    I laugh perhaps a little manically. "You''re the best Hestia." I claimed truthfully, my mind awash with¡­ I don''t even know how to begin to describe it, but I do know that I''m going to have some fun in the dungeon.


    "Ehe~" She emitted happily, soaking up the praise.


    I stood up suddenly, my grin widening ravenously across my face.


    "Hey I was-" Hestia cuts off as I casually lift her by the armpits, she blinks. "Eh? Elric-kun?" Is all she can get out before I bring her into a crushing hug and start spinning her around.


    Small people deserve no mercy.


    "WAAAAAIII-!" She cried, but I didn''t stop until I was satisfied, only then letting her drop down onto unsteady legs. "Why¡­?" She moaned.


    "Because you''re the best." I answer smugly.


    "I don''t think I wanna be the best if it means you keep spinning me¡­" She whined.


    "Sounds like someone wants to be spun again~" I teased, not expecting Hestia to take one look at my wriggling digits and promptly run off.


    "YOU''RE SO MEAN!" The abusive Goddess shouted, fleeing from my victorious self.


    Remember kids, always get even.


    Since I no longer needed to appease her, I supposed that I could go back to my alchemy and burn through the rest of my ingredients, but honestly? Those perks left me wanting to do only one thing.


    And that thing is grinding.


    The dungeon is a calling boys, just waiting for a murderhobo hero to plunge its dark depths... it all sounds a little romantic to be honest.


    Now, before I made the trip to Orario I''d worked as a labourer in Ratan, the pay was shit, but as long as you were strong enough they wouldn''t care if you came to work in say, some rags you found on the street, and given my circumstances, that was kind of perfect. Plus, at the time I didn''t exactly have much overhead -on account of sleeping on the village streets- so I was left with a decent little nest egg; part of which I''d since put to good use.


    A good use which I''d thankfully remembered to take from my kit downstairs and put in my inventory, I didn''t really want to deal with Hestia''s pouting right now. The moment I reached for them the warm glow of objects materialising out of my inventory lit the air, and I was suddenly left with a shield on my arm, a rather light steel cuirass on my chest and a sword on my hip.


    The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    Why sword and board instead of stealth archer you ask? I''d thought this through back in Ratan, scrubbing my brain for what I knew of the Danmachi dungeon. Two things stood out: one was that monsters in the dungeon always seemed to know where Bell was and/or spawned on top of him, and the other was that the dungeon was at least partially sentient and wanted to kill those who stepped into it.


    Now granted, my Skyrim knowledge is limited to the game alone and not any of that weird deep lore you find on the internet; but somehow I don''t think crouching will let me fool a domain-type enemy with seeming omniscience in said domain, regardless of my skill level. Worse still I can''t even test it because I don''t know if the monsters will scale with my level like in Skyrim, so until I find that out fudging my build is the same as committing suicide.


    So, stealth archer is out, what about magic? Dunno how to activate it, and the skill damage was fixed in game causing it to crap out at the higher levels; that might be different for me given how the magic stats works in Danmachi, so I''ll come back to it later. All of that only leaves melee, a personal favourite of mine and -if I''m being honest- the only choice I really considered.


    Sue me, I''m biased.


    When the masses are talking about Heroes they want flash, they want tales of bravery- of people running head first into danger, sword in hand. They want people like Ais and her overly elaborate and acrobatic sword style, the Braver and the story he''s built up around himself; they want Riveria and her grand, floor clearing magic.


    They don''t want a tale of a guy who hid for a bit, shot some arrows and then everyone died, no one would tell a tale about that... Okay well, maybe they would -because that''s kinda funny- but that''s not the vibe we''re going for here.


    Big boy hero energy here only.


    I don''t care that I already have one broken ass skill, if I''m fighting the world ending dragon then you can bet your ass cheeks that I''m not going to stop trying to squeeze more power out of this world. This is the Holy Church of Hero Maxers and it''s fucking gains day boys.


    Which means it''s time to fuck up the dungeon... right after I finish registering with the guild.


    It''s as I''m leaving that something amazing occurs to me. I turn to look at my lovely, ominously bubbling bucket... could I? Picking it up very carefully, I watch with a growing smile as it disappears into my inventory.


    Oh the monsters are going to love my bucket.


    The Geneva Suggestions are only for humans after all.


    "HESTIA I''M GOING TO THE DUNGEON! BE BACK SOMETIME." I yell into the chapel, running off before she can respond.


    -


    The closest guild branch was a rather tasteful affair I decided, like someone had taken over a bank to serve as their fantasy adventurers'' guild, and then decided to just adopt the aesthetics into its operation. Formal vested uniforms and cute professional girls were the rule of cool here and they operated with a clinical efficiency that I could genuinely respect.


    Unfortunately that same efficiency saw me swiftly guided to a line for a clerk that had me bracing for the worst. Eina Tulle was perhaps more beautiful than she was in the anime, but I just couldn''t be arsed to deal with her. If Bell''s experience was anything to go by, then I was in for an overly long lecture on how to kill green midgets with the reach of a toddler; all from a woman who''s never been in the dungeon.


    If this were a game, this would be the kind of tutorial level bullshit that I''d have skipped straight through, because honestly? I''d rather huff the fumes coming out of my bucket than be forced to sit through an extended tutorial on the absolute basics.


    I am not a patient man.


    Spacing out, I fantasised about just leaving and running into the dungeon like a goober, I didn''t even realise I was at the front of the queue until Tulle cleared her throat politely.


    I blinked. "Oh sorry, spaced out for a second there."


    "What can the guild do for you today, Mr?" She inquired formally, her eyes were fixed on my armour and a somewhat strained smile sat upon her lips.


    "Carne, and I just need to register as an adventurer."


    Her smile becomes just that little bit more strained. "Do you have a familia to register yourself with?"


    "The Hestia familia." I inform her; from the notch in her brow, it''s clear she hasn''t heard of my Goddess before.


    "I see..." She frowned. "Before I get the forms, I need to ask if you also require a dungeon advisor?¡±


    That was a choice? Holy shit I''m going to save so much time.


    "No." Her smile outright became a frown. "My familia has already filled me in." I deflect, Hestia most certainly hadn''t, but I had a solid understanding of the first twelve floors, never mind the first.


    "Have they now?" Oh that''s cute, she''s making assumptions. "I''ll be right back with your forms."


    Watching the half-elf walk away I thought for a split second that maybe this wouldn''t be so bad, that I had perhaps misjudged Eina and her overbearing nature. That thought lasted right up until she returned with a stack of forms thicker than my thumb.


    Motherfucker.


    I should have just gone straight to the dungeon, just said fuck it and hopped right in; I can literally feel my time in there slipping through my fingers.


    My trepidation must''ve been showing, because Tulle took one look at me and then just smirked. Fucking bureaucrats, it''s not enough that they have to suffer, oh no, they have to drag everyone down with them.


    The first full fifth of the stack all required sizable chunks of information to be filled out and that took ages. Immediately after that were the waivers of life and responsibility -that you had to read through entirely- a mass of legalese that basically translated to ''fuck you and your family, this idiot signed off on his life''.


    Which I did, so kinda fair, but I''d still rather be head first in my bucket right now.


    It was as I was reading the ninth and final waiver that Tulle decided she couldn''t wait anymore.


    "Carne-san." She got my attention. "I can tell you''re set on this path, so I''ll just give you a piece of advice I give to every adventurer that comes through here: Adventurers must not go on adventures, the dungeon is an incredibly dangerous place and the only way to find your fortune in there is to be safe." She stated firmly, imploring me with her eyes to listen.


    I should probably just nod and move on, however...


    "I know you mean well and all, and you''re probably just talking about reckless adventurers without a lick of sense." I state blandly. "But even so, you''re still wrong."


    Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "...Is that so?"


    I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, playing obtuse huh? "The Falna responds to challenge, anyone following your advice will never make it to d rank stats, let alone further."


    Eina adjusted her glasses, face cold. "It''s advice intended to stop people from recklessly endangering themselves, Carne-san."


    "So now it''s ''adventurers must not go on adventures, other than all those times they should''?" I parody her motto back to her. I was honestly being kind of a dick here, but I wasn''t the biggest fan of Eina to begin with and she was kind of in my way.


    "If you wish to see it that way." She stated sternly.


    I hum, signing my name on the last form with a flourish, looking up to shoot Tulle a satisfied smile.


    "And done-" I get cut off as she drops a new set of forms in front of me with a sadistic, bureaucratic gleam in her eye.


    "I''m afraid that the Goddess Hestia left much of the formalisation process of her familia for her future child." Eina smiled, a cold malicious smile on her face that hinted at untold -paper laden- horrors. "I''ll have to insist on you taking care of that right away."


    I don''t know who I''m more annoyed at right now... No, it''s Hestia, it''s definitely Hestia; I''m spanking that Goddess when I get back.


    She dares drop this shit into my lap? I''ll make sure she can''t sit for a week!


    "Where do I start?" I asked with a forced smile, glaring into the face of the bureaucratic demon.


    -


    My mood thoroughly ruined by the miracles of bureaucracy and my smug midget of a Goddess, I turn my attention to Babel, the enormous rock hewn tower that dominates the centre of Orario and serves as the dungeon''s grand seal. At its base -through the grand arches- I found the titanic staircase that served as the dungeon''s entrance, as well as something that was definitely not in the anime.


    Craning my neck up to take it all in I stared at the seemingly living painting of the azure sky that dominated the ceiling of the grand room. It glowed beautifully in the shadowed hall, giving a very obvious clue as to its magical nature.


    Due to Tulle and her paperwork I had arrived well past noon and thus long after the morning adventurer rush. The staircase was basically empty apart from a few banged up adventurers resting up on the lower stairs, and a single group that was heading towards me who seemed inordinately pleased with themselves.


    As I passed the apparently lucky group, the leader called out, "Give em hell brat!" to the laughs of his comrades.


    Thanks random guy, I kinda needed that after the guild.


    I smiled and kept bounding down the stairs; this thing went deep and I was not looking forward to having to take them back up while already battered by the dungeon. Without a Falna just getting in and out of the dungeon alone would probably be pretty tiring.


    As I got near the bottom, the brickwork of Babel gave way to something far older and more ominous, the dark stone forming an ancient doorway, its heavy doors of nearly glowing metal opened wide in invitation. The pair of adventurers guarding them nodded at me as I passed, and just like that I was in the dungeon.


    It was pretty damn cool.


    The air was cold and smelled of that particular combination of stale, earthy and just a little metallic that you often found in caves. The walls were a strange bluish colour instead of the more earthy tones I expected from the anime, and dim light filled the space from somewhere. The thing that stood out the most however was the unnatural quiet that filled the space.


    God, these vibes are perfect, my hair''s already standing up on the back of my neck. With a grin and a scrape of steel on leather, I advance into the dungeon, sword in hand. I remember Bell just running around with his knife sheathed, but swords are a bit more awkward to get out and I don''t have Bell''s speed. Qahnaarin might have buffed my damage already, but Skyrim doesn''t have shit for speed outside of a pair of shouts.


    Shield first, I put one foot in front of the other and advanced excitedly, straining my senses to try and hear anything I could. When ''heroing'', the most important thing to do is never look stupid and that means avoiding all the common rookie mistakes. Never get relaxed while in a place that wants to kill you, otherwise you end up like Bell, half dead and having to be rescued.


    Nothing is less heroic than having to be saved¡­ or dying like a goober I guess.


    It took five minutes of exploring like this before I found my first Goblin, which probably said something about the spawn rate on this floor.


    It was a funny little creature, like a toddler with oversized, gangly limbs and a bulbous head that flopped about as it scrambled towards me. Its range was shit, its speed was only a little bit more than what you''d expect from its toddler legs due to their seemingly adult-like strength, and its intelligence was apparently limited to running in a straight line towards you.


    It was -in short- hilarious, and maybe a little sad as the grand start of my heroic journey, but I could deal with that. All adventurers started here after all.


    As the little potato-headed bastard got close, I smiled, yeah, it all started with this. A single textbook thrust taken straight from my childhood fencing lessons punched a hole straight through its skull, puncturing through its resistance with the same ease I would an overripe watermelon.


    Not that I''ve stabbed a lot of watermelons, but y''know.


    I rechamber my arm, stepping back with my shield at the ready. My caution proved a bit too much given all the points I''ve already outlined, and the Goblin just collapsed anti-climatically. The only real surprise was that the body just kept bleeding out onto the floor instead of turning to ash like in the anime.


    Is it still alive?


    Well safety first.


    I cautiously slash its throat, but it didn''t move aside from the force of the blow, just leaving me with an even bloodier corpse. My mind flashed back to the sky mural I saw only a few minutes prior; maybe this was just another difference between the anime and the real world? But if that''s the case, then...


    "How the fuck do I get the drops?" I mutter, still standing a healthy distance away from the corpse; I''ve seen enough horror films to know to never stand close to ''dead'' creatures.


    Staring at it, sword in hand, I realise that I''m just going to have to start cutting and see what happens.


    "You weren''t a worthy opponent, but I''m sorry for this regardless." I offer as a shitty prayer, crouching down -still out of reach- and just start cutting. I immediately found out three things, swords don''t have the leverage for precision work for one, and for two, monsters have a lot of blood in them.


    My clothes did not escape untouched.


    The final thing I realised was that the Goblin''s magic stone was in the obvious place; I know this because I accidentally broke the damn thing while I was poking around its chest.


    At least it finally turned into ash, and I now know I need a carving knife. Carving this shit out of each monster is going to be such a pain though; I guess that''s part of why a good supporter matters. In the anime they always seemed a little useless to me, though that might be my dislike of Liliruca Arde speaking.


    Dense as shit protagonists forgiving people who tried to fucking murder them was a personal pet peeve of mine, and insane, overly possessive girls who¡¯s feelings obviously aren¡¯t going to be returned are another. Lili manages to check both of those boxes, somehow.


    Standing up I thanked the Falna once more for its buff, my knees probably wouldn¡¯t survive this hero business without it. At least if this was anything to go by.


    Another ten minutes passed before I found my second Goblin, one that''s slain just as quickly as the first, just a contemptuous flick of my blade and the thing is bleeding out on the floor.


    I genuinely can''t express enough how pathetic these things are.


    And that made me cautious, because the only reason I could think of to churn out these shit tier enemies was if they were a psyop designed by the dungeon to make adventurers overconfident and let their guards down. Now I might be giving it too much credit here, but I''m a conspiracy theorist at heart and this smells more than a little sussy.


    The extraction thankfully goes a bit better this time and, after a short while rummaging around in a Goblin''s bloody insides, I managed to produce a dimly glowing purple gem, something that my skill reacted interestingly to. No, it wasn''t a soul gem but it felt similar enough, just far too weak.


    Which was kind of a relief honestly. I''d been worried about Skyrim ingredients since I''d sat Hestia down and went through the skill with her; alchemy working with the surface plants had helped assuage those worries, but enchanting and smithing are the big boys, and if they were off the table, then the skill¡­.


    Well it would still be overpowered, but not nearly as much as I first thought.


    It was as I was crouched there -contemplating the gem- that I heard the first cracks, immediately forcing me to put away the gem and back up from the patch of ceiling the gobbos had decided to spawn from.


    "That''s a little better Dungeon¡­" I tease, watching as the little green men fall to the floor; it was kind of cute how they flopped over and had to scramble up just to glare at me. I backed up to an appropriate distance, putting my shield between me and them, sword at the ready.


    In your face Tulle, I am the very soul of caution, even against these pickle brained toddlers.


    They ran at me with their standard lack of strategy, leading me to experiment with a step to the side that brought the pathing of two of them just a bit too close, a fact that had them madly scrambling over each other in an almost Charlie Chaplin-esque manner. I laughed, meeting the unimpeded Goblin with a casual slice to its throat at a range it couldn''t even hope to respond to. It didn''t die immediately, but I just stepped back as it bled out scrambling on the floor.


    The dynamic duo finally managed to fix their pathing and ran at me side-by-side, something that I fixed with a long thrust into the Gobbo on the right''s skull. With my blade overextended into his friend, the last Goblin showed some basic reasoning skills and took the chance to leap for my throat. The problem? He was on my left side and my shield was very much not overextended.


    I snorted at the expression that twisted its vile little face as my shield slammed into its torso and ripped the air from its lungs. The creature bounced off with a crunch and slammed into the jagged wall, where it fell to the floor in a boneless heap.


    I shook my head in contempt, these things really were a joke of a psyop.


    A casual swipe finished off the still bleeding out first gobbo, leaving me alone with the paralysed little bastard who was still glaring at me with unending hatred.


    "You would have happily done the same." I reminded it, my boot pulping its skull into a gory mess.


    Carving out the new gems proved to be just as much of a pain as the first time and I found myself lamenting that this world wasn''t a one-to-one of the anime. But well, whining about it won''t do anything, I''d just have to see about getting a supporter soon; if Lili was any indication then they probably kicked about in front of Babel waiting for parties. I''d just have to see about finding one tomorrow during the morning rush.


    Before that though, I''d have to decide whether I was staying on the first floor or- Oh who the fuck am I kidding, of course I''m going further. The Falna grows through challenge, through pushing one¡¯s self, and this floor hadn''t even come close.


    "Maximum effort." I grinned, venturing deeper into the dungeon that apparently wants to kill me; it''s just been doing a pretty shit job of it so far.


    Thanks for reading and for the support this story has gotten the last week, I really, genuinely appreciate it.


    If you couldn''t tell I have a lot of disdain for Goblins and fantasy in general''s lack of understanding when it comes to the basic concept of size and reach. If people start thinking that things like man-sized spiders are of the same danger level as green toddlers, then you''ve done something wrong (barring absurd speed).


    In regards to the Eina Tulle stuff, Elric was showing a bit more of himself there than he otherwise would in his usual act; he can be surprisingly impatient, he thinks he knows better than others and is quite obsessed with the idea of being the hero. Had he listened, he''d have learned about the need to carve out crystals beforehand and brought a knife... probably not the last time those quirks of his will come back to bite him.


    To clarify skill levels, Elric started with level 20 one-handed and 15 Alchemy, his two level ups came from pushing alchemy up to 22. He put his two perks points into the damage perk of one-handed. Hestia will get better at reading the skill, so just bare with the fuzziness for now.


    There are no health/stamina/magicka stats, hence Elric''s confusion. He also can''t currently work out how to access his magic, but will in future. Elric is not dragonborn and has no way to learn shouts in this world. I saw a fair amount of confusion on those points so I just wanted to clarify before I went further.


    Hope that cleared some things up and sorry for the long ass AN; I hope you all have a great day.

 Chapter 3

    Chapter 3


    "Hestia, how long ago did Hephaestus kick you out?"


    "Mou Elric-kun, you''re so not cute."


    "Don''t pout... I''m just trying to understand the timeline, how long we have."


    "A couple weeks back, you happy?"


    "Maybe, hopefully."


    The conversation had been niggling at my brain since I''d had it; it was about the best case scenario I could have hoped for, but it was also a reminder of the time ticking down before my impulsive decision was proven right or wrong. I''m the first to admit that I''m an impatient man, that my choices are often based on nothing more than my own desires, but here?


    I thought more about this decision than I did any other in my life. I could have gone anywhere, done anything, but I came here, to Hestia. I won''t lie and say it wasn''t an utterly massive risk that I made based on my limited understanding of the Falna, but I was right.


    An accomplishment, refined by a God''s interest and emotion and sheer narrative weight turned into the strongest skill I''d seen in the series. All because I was right to go to Hestia, so I could help this world, so I could be a hero.


    It would take effort, a tremendous amount in fact; without Realis Phrase the fastest leveller in the history of Orario was Ais Wallenstein, who took a solid year to reach level two and by the time she got to level five that had slowed down to five years per level. I didn''t have that time, I had at most a year and a half.


    But this skill? It could do it -I could do it- I firmly believe that with all my being.


    So much so that when I came face to face with my first dead adventurer and the goblin currently eating his spleen, it didn''t shake me, or make me realise my own mortality -or any of that shit.


    My only thought was that I couldn''t waste any more time on these weaklings.


    The Goblin cried out and scrambled off the corpse towards me, a gash on its stomach impeding its already slow movements. I watched it come and felt nothing but contempt; no this really won''t do, I didn''t have time to play in this kiddie pool.


    Throwing my usual caution to the wind I stepped in and punted the midget with a form any football fan would be proud of. The feeling of its warm, bulbous beer belly contorting over my shin almost made me regret my choice before it blasted down the corridor, tumbling over the rough stone.


    The sight brought a vague smile to my lips, the baby punting meme from the more edgy corners of the internet had done its rounds in my past life and I''d seen it enough times that it had managed to draw a chuckle or two out of me. But it was a smile that didn''t last as I turned to the dead adventurer before me.


    I didn''t offer anything to the man other than closing his wide, horrified eyes. The man had died to a single Goblin, there was no future in which he wouldn''t have otherwise died in this dungeon, whether that was tomorrow or in a week''s time.


    As I was finishing off the weakly struggling Gobbo, I looked up at the sound of scraping and found what I was looking for. Not ten feet away, hiding behind an innocuous corner was a dog-like face, my first Kobold.


    The Kobold startled as soon as I noticed it, breaking cover with a snarl and charging towards me. I stood my ground, putting my sword between us, a small part of me realising that I should probably be leading with my shield, but my fencing habits were coming to the fore.


    It ran faster than Goblins due to its height advantage, chewing up the distance between us, but it moved almost lethargically in contrast to the almost manic energy of its little green counterparts, making it much more predictable.


    It reached me in the span of a second, reaching out with a clawed hand instead of putting any real weight or momentum behind its strike. I tilted my blade to meet it, expecting the thing to pull out of it like a feint, my eyes widening when it instead barrelled its arm straight into the blade. Unlike its Gobbo counterparts I could feel the bones in its arms parting before my blade, the resistance and weight behind it nearly driving the blade from my grip.


    I grunt as I double down on my grip, driving the blade out and backing away as the Kobold screams its dumb little head off, clutching at its nearly split in two limb.


    "The fuck are you screaming for? You ran into my blade." I ask incredulously as the dog-headed monster whines like an actual kicked puppy, "Oh don''t give me that look, this is a dance, I anticipated your movement, you''re supposed to back off and- why am I lecturing a dog...?" I rolled my eyes and lunged without warning, my blade cutting through the limb it throws up in defence and carrying through to split its snout in half.


    As it collapsed I couldn''t help but look at my blade approvingly; this thing was just a shitty sword that I bought from the first blacksmith I could find. I had been planning on aiming for the soft spots and just using it to earn enough to buy something better, but the blade looked fine in spite of what I had just put it through. Either the monsters here were a lot softer than I expected, or my one-handed perk was carrying me through sheer cutting power alone.


    I didn''t exactly remember all the numbers from the game, but that must be some hefty buff to let me slice through bone with just two perks, even if they are weak-ass monsters. Yet more proof of the strength of my skill, and how possible the path before me was.


    Standing over the corpse, I once again lament the fact that this is not the anime. Carving the Kobold in fact turned into such a pain that I wound up putting in too much power to compensate for my lack of leverage and destroyed yet another stone. I rolled my eyes as the rat-faced bastard crumbled to dust.


    "That''s going to get real old, real fast." I grumbled, trying again on the Goblin, just focusing on getting the damn crystal out. As soon as I touched the monster, it crumbled to ash and I was left there just blinking in confusion. I definitely didn''t break it, hell I had barely even parted the skin when it ashed, so¡­


    A wondrous thought occurred to me and I immediately checked my inventory, sure enough there was one more stone in my collection. I froze for one glorious moment, just appreciating the sheer luck of the star I was born under.


    "Thank you Todd Howard." I breathed in reverence. "I take back everything I''ve ever said about your games, you''ve saved me so much time."


    Ten minutes and seven stones sucked up into my inventory later, I was in the final corridor of floor one, staring down the two Kobolds that had been waiting in ambush by the stairs with a grin on my face.


    Like the rest, they didn''t fuck around, just hoofing it towards me the minute they realised I''d seen them. They snarled furiously, fury evident in their beady red eyes, but that fury made them dumb as rocks and they came at me with enough spacing that as long as I handled the first quickly, I wouldn''t have to take them at once.


    I met the first''s charge, meeting his opening swipe with a matching blow and almost laughing as his arm fell clean off. My follow up however hit air as the dog-fucker immediately collapsed, his momentum carrying him skidding across the floor behind me, clutching at his ruined limb.


    "Shit." I cursed as the second leapt in. I raised my shield to take the skittering blow, painfully aware that something that wanted to kill me was in my blind spot right now. The thought propelled me forward and I shield bashed into his blow, a meaty metallic thump ringing out as it crashed into something heavy that I could only guess was its head.


    I followed up with a blind slash into what I hoped was a stunned target, my blade meeting nothing but neck, blood splattering across the tunnel. I didn''t get even a moment to enjoy my victory however, before burning hot pain erupted from my leg.


    I turned my gasp of pain into a grunt, keeping my footing and spinning to bring my blade down on the one-armed bastard currently digging his claws into my leg. My sword buried itself into his head as he gave me one last glare of raw hatred.


    "Motherfu..." I gritted my teeth, focusing on taking its magic stone; my desire turned the dog-fucker to ash and I had to gnash my teeth together as the pain immediately spiked. "Spiteful dog licker!"


    Fumbling mentally through my inventory I ripped a pair of potions from the pile I''d mentally named ''good'' potions and sniffed the first. A nutty scent filled my nostrils and all my instincts could make out was that it was some kind of restoring potion.


    "Good enough." I muttered, downing the thing; the taste wasn''t bad, but my wound didn''t heal and all I was left with was a clearer mind to focus on the pain. I smelled the second, nutty, I tossed it back in with a growl, taking two more out of my inventory before I finally found one that smelled different, grilled meat.


    Skittering broke through my pain induced focus and I looked up to find another pair of Kobolds and a Goblin sprinting from down a corridor on my left.


    "Oh fuck you." I utter, quickly trying to down the potion. They''re on me before I can finish and the potion cracks as I brace both arms against my shield to ward off the full-body slam of a Kobold. I slide backwards, turning the strike into a retreat, back peddling sharply on a half healed ankle.


    "Hestia, if you''re watching this¡­" I began with a pained smile. "I''m about to do something my people call a ''Pro gamer move''."


    My shield disappears in a warm glow, startling the monsters for just long enough for me to grab the surprise I prepared earlier from my inventory. My bucket, the bucket flashed into existence as I cast it in a wide arc, the revolting purplish liquid filling the air like mist and spontaneously catching fire.


    For legal reasons the following screams and body horror are not something I can put to paper, nor describe to you in good conscience. So I''ll just settle for stating that the one who didn''t die immediately, was promptly executed mercifully.


    "Ah, sorry Hestia..." I cringe awkwardly, imagining her watching this. "Wasn''t expecting that." I glanced at the remains before quickly turning away again.


    Ah well, some things you can''t do anything about, nothing for it but to continue the grind: if Bell could make it to the fifth floor in two weeks, then I would at least reach the third floor today.


    -


    The Dungeon, Third Floor


    Filian Nowe


    Collapsing back against the cool stone of the staircase, Filian let out a long sigh of relief. "That could have gone better..."


    Besides him Ilya rolled her purple eyes, but even she -in all her noble stoicism- looked worse for wear. The red headed member of their training team didn''t respond so much as collapse onto her back, breathing deeply.


    Filian tried not to look at her barely covered breasts, he really did -it was against his elven pride after all- but they were right there. And if she didn''t want him to look then she wouldn''t wear such a thin shirt into the dungeon right?


    Right¡­?


    "Fil if you don''t stop staring I''m-!" She coughed harshly, heaving in another rasping breath. "-Shit!"


    Okay so maybe she did mind.


    "Fil¡­" A reproving voice rang out and he couldn''t help but wince as the untouched figure of their trainer strode into his vision. The wince seemed to satisfy Mr Nord enough for him to move on. "Now, you guys know what went wrong right?"


    Filian did, he had a full view of the dungeon lizard dropping in from Judith''s blind spot from his spot in the rear, but the way Ilya looked away and Judith just growled, didn''t convince him that his teammates knew.


    Mr Nord gave an uneasy smile. "Judith, Ilya for now I want you both to slow down and keep your eyes peeled. Fil, you''re the rear guard," Filian cringed at the upcoming reprimand, "I shouldn''t need to tell you that you need to watch your friends'' backs."


    Shouldn''t need to, but would anyway, because he was-


    "AGH!" Judith suddenly shouted, slamming her fist into the floor. "Fuck this shit! We''ve been in the dungeon for two weeks and we''re still stuck on the third floor!?" The sheer frustration and anger in her voice made Filian wince; realistically he knew that their progress was fine and well within expectations, but when your two teammates were these two¡­


    It was hard not to take every setback personally when Judith would explode in anger every time and Ilya would close in on herself more.


    "Judith¡­" Mr Nord said warningly, before shaking his head in tired acceptance. "Rest for a few, we''ll start again after that."


    This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.


    Judith settled at that, the promise of trying again enough to quell her anger, at least for now.


    Filian didn''t understand where she got the energy to be honest, he had the advantage of being in the rear, avoiding the overwhelming majority of monsters and yet his body still felt like one big bruise. As a melee fighter she really shouldn''t have the energy to be that angry, never mind have enough in the tank to push them to keep going long after they''d blown through their potion allowance.


    Mr Nord looked like he was going to say something, but instead snapped around to look up the stairs. Filian didn''t hear anything despite his elven ears, but high level adventurer''s senses were insanely good; if he thought someone was coming, then someone was probably coming.


    Adjusting his position to free up his quiver, he pulled his bow closer and noted his friends similarly preparing, his eyes focusing on the top of the stairs.


    As the tension racketed up, Filian noticed their teacher crinkling his brow in confusion, with the reason reaching his ears not a second later.


    "Scree!" A Goblin screeched as it twirled gracelessly into view from the floor above. In weeks past Filian might have frozen up at such an odd sight, but now his instincts already had him training an arrow on the beast. He needn''t have bothered however as the Goblin splattered into the landing just above his group and fell silent.


    Boots followed after the little monster and a tall human came into view, a smile on his face as he made his way down to them.


    "Oh hey, you guys are Loki familia right?" The man called out cheerfully, sidling up to the Goblin.


    An awkward silence fell over the group as Filian realised that Mr Nord was stepping back from the situation, letting them deal with the encounter on their own. He cringed at the realisation, Judith was too wound up right now and Ilya usually preferred to remain silent, which just left him.


    "Ye-yeah." He spoke up, attempting a roguish smile. "That''s us, Loki-sama''s amazing trio in training!" A wince broke through his facade as the speech strained the injury on his side.


    "You alright?" The man asked as he sliced the Goblin''s throat, his eyes still locked onto Filian. "Need a potion?"


    He wanted to say yes, for a variety of reasons mostly related to pain, but Filian was struck by the sheer casualness the man exuded even while killing.


    "It''s coming out of your pocket." Mr Nord cut in, reminding them of the general rule for overuse of consumables. Filian almost groaned in disappointment, while Judith actually did as she threw a petulant glare at their teacher.


    The man just laughed. "Here, it''s on me."


    He tossed it to Filian, who almost cheered as he raised an arm to catch it. "Thanks-" Suddenly Mr Nord was there, the vial in his hand as he inspected it with a critical eye.


    All at once, Filian felt like a dunce again, he''d forgotten the first rule of dealing with other adventurers: never trust them.


    They''d lie, cheat and kill their way to any advantage they could claim against their fellows, poison was just one of their many tricks, and Filian didn''t even think about doing due diligence. Sure, it wasn''t likely that the man would poison him right in front of a level four, but caution was being drilled into them for a reason. He cursed his own stupidity.


    A long moment of tension entered the air as the man''s smile faded a touch.


    "It''s good." Their teacher announced, offering the vial to the closest of them, Judith. "Share it." He reminded her, even as he turned to stare at the man in evaluation. "You offer potions to everyone you meet?"


    "You''re the first I''ve met in the dungeon, so I dunno yet." The man threw out the rather baffling statement casually. "But I''m an alchemist, so it doesn''t cost much to be friendly."


    "And what''s the cost for this ''friendliness''?" Judith shot out, not yet having drank the potion, but the desire was clearly there given how it lingered next to her lips. The man just smiled in response, sitting down at the edge of the landing.


    "Well, some tips for in there would be great." Filian felt himself relax at the words, even teacher seemed to relax a little; a give and take was a lot more understandable than random people offering free shit in the dungeon.


    "Not much to it." Filian began, eyeing Judith as she scoffed and downed almost half the potion, he winced a little at that. "The corridors are a bit wider, the groups a bit bigger -you''ll sometimes even get five or six monsters in a mixed group- and they''re a little stronger. Biggest thing to focus on is the Dungeon Lizards."


    "Dungeon Lizards?" The man queried, but it sounded strange to Filian''s ears, like he was actually asking what a Dungeon Lizard was in the first place.


    Filian shook it off and just nodded along. "Big lizards that stick to the ceiling, blending into the stone and the darkness, you get too close and they''ll throw themselves at you."


    The man hummed at the information. "You guys heading back in? I''m Elric by the way." He gave them a winning smile that had Judith scoffing; Elric was a little obvious with what he was angling for.


    "If you wanna leech of us, then-!" She fell silent as their teacher raised his arm, but she kept glaring at Elric who seemed entirely unbothered.


    "Judith. Moments like these come in the dungeon, when you have to choose between working together with your fellow Adventurers or not." Mr Nord of course decided to turn the situation into a teaching encounter, something Elric oddly didn''t seem to mind. "The very least you can do is hear them out while thinking about what they can offer you."


    "Pretty much." Elric agreed, playing into their teacher''s lesson. "In this case I can offer potions and to take the front, an extra sword should make things go a bit easier at least." Judith prickled at the insinuation that they needed help -even though they did- but ultimately simmered down.


    "Up to you team, whatever happens I''ll be here." Mr Nord reminded them reassuringly.


    Filian sighed, knowing it was going to be his choice again... and his consequences. At least Ilya was finally passing him the potion- annnd it''s a sixth full.


    Greedy humans.


    "Well I''m down for it." Filian announced his decision in no way informed by the temptation of more potions. "I''m Fil by the way." Elric nodded respectfully at him.


    "Ilya Lindsay." His noble teammate added, though Elric didn''t seem to recognise the house name, hoorah for small mercies.


    "Judith, don''t hold us back." Judith cut in bluntly, as they all got back to their feet and readied themselves to brave the floor again.


    "Nice to meet you all, which way we headin''?" The man left the decision up to them. Filian nodded approvingly, already Elric was more agreeable than Filian''s teammates.


    "We finished off the left corridor only ten minutes ago," or at least their teacher finished it off, "let''s go right." Elric nodded, marching off at a decent pace. The others exchanged glances and fell in behind the man, maintaining a bit of distance and keeping an eye on him, while Mr Nord fell in besides Filian in the back.


    And just like that they were back in, wandering through endless tunnels that all looked the same as the atmosphere suffocated them in its horrid mix of silence and stale air. The only thing that was worse than the silence? The little sounds, the distant thumps that broke it for the barest of moments, each raising his guard and bringing him back to full attention, only for it to turn out to be nothing, again.


    Never able to relax, never able to let down your guard, kept on a knife''s edge for minutes, hours. It makes your stomach crawl, your eyes itch and your mouth goes dry. Mr Nord had told them that, that was sometimes the worst part of the dungeon, the insidious killer.


    Becoming tired.


    Oddly, that didn''t seem to affect their new party member overly much, as the man walked along with a relaxed posture, sword resting on his shoulder. Even Judith had noticed the man''s lackadaisical nature, probably only narrowly holding herself back from chewing him out. Filian shook his head, the dungeon would do that for her in a bit.


    Then his sensitive ears pricked up, or right now.


    Sure enough, a Dungeon Lizard leapt off the ceiling as the walls cracked around them, splitting the team in two. Filian cursed and leapt back, putting some room between him and monsters as he readied an arrow; as much as the guy needed an awareness check, they still needed their tank up and ready.


    Before he could line up the shot however, the man''s blade swept off his shoulder and caught the Lizard with an almost lazy slash that shattered its stone. The freshly spawned monsters froze as one of their number exploded, turning to face the man.


    Filian took the chance to shoot one of them in the back, his eyes still focused on Elric as the man turned around. To his sides, Ilya and Judith charged in, engaging a Kobold each, swords flashing as they whittled away at the monsters'' defence.


    For a moment Filian was struck by just how well everything was going, normally a group of this size would have torn past the front and forced him back, occasionally pushing him so far that he would end up drawing in more monsters to the point that their teacher would have to step in. But here? Despite the disastrous spawning, it was like that one quick kill had drawn all the attention of the monsters, leaving Filian free to loose as many arrows as he could.


    A pair of monsters fell to his arrows as his teammates finished off the two they were engaging, with the remainder falling to Elric''s odd swordplay.


    "I''m not the best at carving stones." Elric suddenly announced, smiling awkwardly. "Do you mind if I stick to guarding?"


    Judith grumbled a bit before shaking her head. "You''re strong, it''s fine."


    Filian blinked in shock as she actually crouched down to start carving, would the miracles never cease? They normally just left the carving to him.


    "Oi Fil, don''t slack!" She called -rather hypocritically- but that was fine, he could deal with that, it was just nice not being the only one for once.


    "So how long have you guys been adventuring?" Elric asked suddenly, Judith gritted her teeth.


    "Two weeks." Ilya surprisingly spoke up, her purple eyes staring at the man with curiosity. "And you?"


    Elric laughed. "Started today." He announced in the most obvious lie Filian had ever heard.


    Before Judith could explode however, their teacher cut in with a thoughtful hum. "That explains a few things."


    "It does!?" Judith demanded.


    "Elric here is pretty decent with a sword, but his speed and strength are actually lacking compared to you lot." Mr Nord told them.


    "But then¡­" Ilya trailed off.


    "It''s because he has a damage skill." Their teacher announced, staring at their party member.


    "Was it that obvious?" Elric asked in surprisingly good humour for someone being called out on their Falna''s secrets in front of strangers.


    "Your sword was going through bone without the proper form or strength behind it, and that sword is..." Elric shifted slightly at the sword comment, but otherwise took it on the chin. "I''ve seen enough damage skills to recognise the signs."


    "A bit foolhardy to demonstrate it in front of a level four huh?" Elric chuckled self-deprecatingly.


    Mr Nord nodded agreeably. "Other familias would probably try to scoop you up."


    "Yeah, I figured it would be fine with you Loki lot though." At that Filian''s brows raised, the man glanced at him. "Loki-sama has a pretty nice record, this baby skill wouldn''t be worth the reputation loss if it came out that you were bullying smaller familias."


    "Probably yeah¡­" Their teacher rubbed the back of his head with a smile as Filian stood a little straighter, for his familia to have such a reputation¡­ it filled him with pride. "If you''re interested, I could talk to my Goddess."


    At those words all of them jerked, swinging around to stare at Mr Nord and his incredibly casual offer.


    "Just like that huh?" Elric asked, seeming to find their teacher''s offer to be humorous.


    "You''ve got potential, and we can afford to buy off other familias for promising rookies."


    "I''ll keep it in mind, but I don''t want to leave my Goddess alone." Elric said, a strangely wistful expression on his face. "I''ll relay the offer, but from what I understand our Goddesses have a¡­ tenuous relationship."


    Eh? What does that mean, and why is teacher sighing?


    "Hestia-sama by any chance?"


    "Does Loki-sama complain about her a lot?" Elric returned with a laugh.


    "Ever since she descended." Mr Nord returned with a reminiscing smile.


    "Divines, am I right?" Their teacher laughed along with the man while they were just left standing there in befuddlement.


    Sure Loki-sama could be a bit¡­ but she was a Goddess, an actual divine worthy of all the respect that title deserved. To be talking about her and a fellow Goddess as if they were troublesome children, was bizarre.


    "Oh, has Loki-sama not groped these ones yet?" The man asked an absolutely insane question with a matter-of-fact bluntness that Filian was very quickly beginning to associate with him.


    "G-Grope!?" Judith demanded, a heavy blush on her cheeks as her sword twitched towards Elric.


    "You know about that? Guess we haven''t been keeping it that quiet." Mr Nord mused, as Ilya and Judith turned to him with expressions of disbelief. "Ah, it''s not that big of a deal you three, Loki-sama only does it to people she knows will put her in her place."


    "Put her¡­?" Judith trailed off in disbelief.


    "He means beat her off with a stick." Elric offered with a chuckle.


    "Loki-sama is a pervert¡­" Ilya whispered.


    "She is, but she wouldn''t do anything to you guys." Their teacher offered, before continuing in a small voice, "yet¡­"


    "If she tries anything, I''ll kick her ass!" His red-headed teammate swore then and there, fire in her eyes.


    Elric just laughed. "That''s the spirit." Amazingly Mr Nord nodded along with him. "You just hav- Oh, we''ve got a few coming up front."


    Filian blinked, suddenly realising that they were in the dungeon- that monsters were coming. Adrenaline flooded his veins as he realised he''d let himself relax in the joking atmosphere. He tensed, his elven eyes finding the small pack of Kobolds tearing towards them.


    "Yeah, when it comes to Divines¡­" Elric went on to Filian''s disbelief, calmly continuing the conversation even as monsters descended upon him. "You just have to deal with their quirks sometimes." His blade lashed out, cleanly slicing off the arm and then head of the first Kobold, his shield raising to meet the attack of another before Judith slammed into it blade first.


    Filian shook off his shock and sent a pair of arrows down range, picking off a small Goblin in the back of the group.


    "They''ve spent an eternity up in Tenkai, more than enough time to go a little crazy." Elric added as he stepped back into the battle and gutted one of the Kobolds making a beeline for Ilya. "And more than enough time for them to get a little obsessed with interesting things."


    "Interesting?" Ilya queried, dancing out of the way of a Kobold''s lunge and severing its tendons in return.


    "GODS! Would you shut up!?" Judith suddenly shouted. "I''m trying~! To kill things here!" She yelled, slamming her blade into the thick neck of her already crippled Kobold.


    "My bad." Elric apologised once the monsters were all dead with a not-so-sorry smile on his face. Judith didn''t look at him however, staring instead at the wall; only Filian''s elven eyes let him notice the blush on her cheeks.


    "No- it''s¡­" Judith cut herself off in frustration, seeming to force herself to calm down. "I''m just worked up." She huffed.


    "Talking in combat is¡­ a bad habit." The man offered, even seeming a touch guilty about it.


    "Yeah." Their teacher nodded. "Some of our executives- well, they can be quite the chatterboxes in the midst of things. I tend to keep my head down though." He admitted.


    Filian blinked at that titbit, he''d heard rumours of some of the things they had to fight down there; the idea that some of their leaders could chat away in the middle of that¡­ it sounded unreal.


    "...Can I ask him now, Judith?" Ilya asked blandly, Judith shot her a venomous glare and turned her attention to carving. Ilya turned her eyes to the enigma amongst them.


    "Interesting as in us." Elric clarified. "If you think about Gods as obsessive children bickering over toys you''ll probably have the right of it more often than not."


    Filian wasn''t the only one to turn and look at Mr Nord in something approaching disbelief; the man''s guilty expression that was slowly morphing into something perverse didn''t reassure them.


    "Honestly it''s kind of great," their teacher spoke up with a dopey smile on his face, "Loki-sama heaps all kinds of luxuries on us upper rankers, for our- ah, loyalty. That competitiveness is really something."


    "We''ve lost him." Filian whispered, staring with his fellow rookie''s at the previously reliable man who had been serving as their teacher.


    "I dunno what kind of whorehouse he''s imagining, but it must''ve been a damn good one." Elric laughed in their stunned faces. "C''mon guys, let''s keep at it! I wanna make the fourth floor before the end of my first day."


    Filian''s mouth dropped, staring at the back of the tall man as he cheerfully made his way through the dungeon. It was only much later that Filian realised that the dungeon''s daunting atmosphere had fallen apart in front of the bizarre camaraderie of the strange group he''d found himself in.

 Chapter 4

    <b>Chapter 4</b>


    There''s something innately satisfying about fighting something that''s stronger than you, something that''s faster than you. Something that''ll take you head on, whose blows will throw you back and whose speed and killing instincts will drive them into every opening that appears in your guard, tearing into you with bestial ruthlessness.


    It''s satisfying because despite all those advantages, despite all the blood and the pain, you''re still standing, you''re still fighting back and most of all: <i>you''re still winning.</i>


    One over-extension and it''s already over, the inky darkness of the first War Shadow collapses at my feet and my shield is already raising to deflect the follow up strike of the second. The blow staggered me, but I was ready for it, a hundred other similarly strong blows having taught me to move with it.


    It jukes right, trying desperately to abuse its speed advantage and disembowel me before I can recover; my blade meets its claw and cuts through, drawing a rattling scream from the apparition as I step in and strike its chest with the rim of my shield. Its scream chokes into a horrific note that itches my brain, but I press through and end things with a vicious thrust to the neck.


    Panting for breath, I luxuriated in the feeling of a hard-won fight. I was stinging all over from a dozen minor cuts -from this battle and others- and my muscles burned from where I''d pushed myself to keep up, to put my shield up just that little bit faster, to meet their blows just that <i>little</i> <i>bit</i> faster. It was a hard, worthy challenge that I was quickly beginning to find intoxicating.


    This really is <i>so</i> much better than any video game.


    I wanted to laugh, to grin, to shout, to be that socially clueless guy in voice chat who gets way too into the game and starts full on larping right there in the vc while the rest of us just awkwardly humour them. But no, there''s people around, I have to maintain my act, to <i>be</i> the unphased hero.


    "Elric!" Judith''s voice called out, turning I barely had time to realise her intentions before she kicked her War Shadow towards me and dove to avoid the spearing tongue of a Frog Shooter. As I cut off the staggered shade''s head, she clambers to her feet and engages the massive frog with a roar, her bastard sword coming down on the creature in an executioner''s strike.


    Truly, a girl after my own heart.


    When we arrived at the stairs to the fifth floor, she was the only one other than me who was immediately down to continue. The red-headed battle junkie was almost ecstatic to chalk up another floor on her tally and push herself just that much further.


    Standing over the corpse of her fallen foe she somehow looked even happier, like a kid on Christmas day. A wide grin on her face as the crimson blood of her opponents dripped from her equally red hair.


    "Ilya, you alright over there?" She called out, watching as the silver haired swordsman danced around her War Shadow, outpacing the apparition as she surgically whittled it down with quick strikes from her rapier. At Judith''s question she looked over, rolled her eyes and re-engaged without missing a beat. "Oi! I''m trying to be nice over here you-!"


    I patted her on the shoulder before she could finish that sentence, nodding her over to where Raul was taking care of a knocked out Filian. I''d heard his shout earlier, but in the heat of the combat I couldn''t afford to look away, expecting Raul to take care of it. Given the way the man was kneeling beside him with a worried frown on his face however, things probably weren''t looking too hot.


    Judith ran off before I could say anything and I followed, trusting Ilya to finish up. Filian didn''t look great up close, the sleeve of his outdoorsman jacket was torn open to reveal bruised, swollen and lacerated skin, a trait shared with his cheek and temple. The kind of wound you got from the barbed tongue of a Frog Shooter.


    "Frog snuck up on him from behind." Raul informed us, looking at me. "Got a potion for him?"


    I silently nodded, fetching another Mc''ds potion from my thigh pouch, using it to hide the minor light show. Honestly, the lacerations weren''t that bad -I was probably in worse shape myself- but anytime you get knocked out like this there''s a high chance of a concussion, and that can get nasty.


    So I passed the pot to Raul and watched how he coaxed it down the elf boy''s throat, propping up his body to let it flow down into his stomach. This definitely wouldn''t be the last time I''d come across someone down like this, so learning how to apply potions to the unconscious was definitely a good idea.


    Judith hovered over us anxiously, watching her comrade with a surprising amount of care as his wounds swiftly closed up. She put up a rough front, but when it came to her teammates, she was surprisingly soft. Ilya wandered up behind us with a stoic expression, her hand on her sheathed blade as she cast a wary eye about the cave.


    "Alright, he should be good to move." Raul informed us. "Get those monsters carved and then we''ll head back to the surface."


    A frown appeared on Judith''s face and I could almost see her loyalty for her friend and her desire to progress and fight warring with each other. The frown passed quickly and she nodded with resolution, heading off to carve with a meaningful glance towards me.


    I wasn''t sure what the glance was about, but I could understand her conflict; I was honestly tempted to stay myself and keep moving onwards, to engage in that heart pounding dance again, but I could barely handle two War Shadows as it is. Running into a party like the one we just encountered would probably be the end of me given how much faster than me they were.


    Which now that I thought about it, would probably become a theme of my dungeon delving.


    To push myself I''d need to face monsters that can avoid or otherwise tank the almost one hit kill potential of my sword, which will almost certainly mean facing monsters that are significantly faster than me. In that scenario running away just isn''t an option, not like it was for Bell. I''ll have to start carrying around some trump cards to handle situations when they spiral beyond my ability to deal with them. Things like the bucket oddly enough, or something like that Hermes'' chick''s bombs.


    For now though, I could hopefully stick with this team and use them as a safety net while I find my rhythm in the dungeon and prepare said trump cards.


    "You should probably take a potion yourself." Raul commented, looking over my various cuts.


    That would probably be a good idea, but I knew I was already stretching the limits of credibility for how many potions I could conceivably be carrying with the few pouches I had. Something Raul seemed to be testing given how he kept pushing me to use more.


    That could come down to him having seen the light of my inventory opening at some point and assuming anything from an enchanted bag to a carry skill, or it could just be him testing how many potions I was willing to expend for free. I couldn''t be certain, but it was best to play it off.


    "Used my last one on him I''m afraid." I flash him a self deprecating grin.


    "Figured as much." He nodded in tired understanding. "You didn''t need to go that far to ingratiate yourself with them you know?"


    "If you mean the potions, they''re cheap enough." I play off modestly. "I just need to carry more next time."


    "Something that works that well is never cheap." Raul shook his head. "And I meant everything, pushing yourself to take on more monsters than the others, even going along with Judith''s half-cocked idea of coming down here¡­ Kids who''ve only been in the dungeon for two weeks shouldn''t be on the fifth floor, never mind a first timer."


    Ah, he was misunderstanding me on that level. On one hand the idea that I was willing to go that far for my new teammates spoke well of my loyalty, but on the other it implied that I was kind of weak willed, just going where Judith led me <i>and</i> doing dumb shit to show off.


    "It''s not that." I denied. "The potions sure, I''m hoping you guys will invite me back tomorrow, but I <i>want</i> to push myself in combat, I know what it takes to grow as an adventurer."


    It was dark in this part of the dungeon, the dim lighting added to the challenge of fighting literal shadows; but it was just bright enough for me to see the absolutely haunted look that passed through Raul''s eyes. I couldn''t begin to guess what was going on behind those eyes, I only recognised the guy from that spin off anime where he was mostly just a background character, whatever was going on in those dark eyes I have zero background knowledge of.


    He reached out, gripping my shoulder with strength that belied his somewhat goofy demeanour. "Be careful on that path kid, pushing yourself like that¡­" He said seriously, his eyes struggling to convey something utterly grim. "I''ve seen too many get swallowed up like that."


    I nodded seriously, trying to convey my understanding.


    "Don''t say I didn''t try." He sighed. "C''mon, the others are waiting¡­ and here." He offered up one of his own potions from what I guessed was his emergency stash, I opened my mouth to deny it, but the earnestness of his gaze had me accepting it anyway.


    "Thanks." I said sincerely, before downing the thing under his watchful gaze. It tasted thin and watery and seemed to take longer to kick in than my own potions, but sure enough I could feel it getting to work on my cuts. Oddly though it didn''t seem to do anything for my muscle fatigue, nor the tiredness buzzing at the back of my mind, a natural consequence of being this focused and alert for this long.


    "It would''ve gone to Fil otherwise." Raul shook his head, picking up the elf, I followed him up and we wandered towards where Judith and Ilya had gathered.


    "Here." Judith said in lieu of a greeting, passing me two small crystals and a shadowy finger blade -a drop item from the War Shadow.


    I thanked her as I packed away my spoils and mentally prepared myself to leave. It felt like leaving a dungeon run half complete, knowing that when you returned all the monsters will have respawned. Not a great feeling, but this wasn''t a dungeon that could be cleared in a century, never mind a single day, my gamer brain would just have to deal with it.


    "Alright team, it''s long past time we headed back, Judith and Elric here pushed us well past our allotted time." Raul claimed and I found myself blinking; I had no idea how long I''d been down here.


    "We made progress didn''t we?" Judith snarked back, a hint of a smile on her face. Ilya nodded with a satisfied look on her face.


    "Well, since you made <i>so</i> much progress, I''m sure you won''t mind carrying our man down." Raul grinned as he officially handed off the duty to the now moping redhead. "C''mon, let''s get topside, I want a drink."


    "Mind if I join you?" I offer, testing the waters a little. You miss all the shots you don''t take and all that, and this was a chance at getting in with the Loki familia. I want those sweet, <i>sweet</i> narrative buffs.


    "Sure, need to stop off at the manor first though." He accepted with a cheesy smile. "Drinking with others always makes the ale sweeter."


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    "That isn''t what you said last time." Judith grumbled as she finished tying Filian to her back. With him secured we started making our way back the way we came.


    "That''s because you kept starting fights with everyone that looked at you." Raul commented with a deadpan stare.


    "They were staring at my ass!" She shouted, a fierce blush on her cheeks.


    "It is a great ass." I comment with a smile, deciding to play along. She glared, but ended up looking away in embarrassment.


    Raul laughed. "Hopefully this place will be better, old man Gareth recommended it to me." Judith straightened at the name, a touch of awe crossing her features. I''d noticed anytime the upper crust of the familia came up she immediately responded with respect.


    It was kinda cute.


    "What about you Ilya, wanna come?" I ask the rather stoic girl, she''d spent most of the trip in silence outside of asking me one or two questions, but it never hurts to be polite.


    She paused at the question, before shaking her head. "Sorry, drinking isn''t for me."


    "Oh c''mon, live a little!" Judith exclaimed. Ah peer pressure, thou art universal.


    Ilya turned away, returning to silence.


    "Oi, don''t turn your nose up at me!"


    "Judith." Raul said reprovingly.


    "It''s a free world." I chime in absent-mindedly, the comment got me an odd look from Raul, but Judith seemed to understand if her chastised nod was anything to go by. "Now c''mon, let''s get paid."


    Judith seemed to perk up at the thought, but Raul and oddly Ilya didn''t seem that interested. Given that Raul barely killed anything, that he''s a<i> level four</i> and thus likely a millionaire, that makes a great deal of sense. But what Ilya''s deal is however I have no idea, the withdrawn girl didn''t exactly talk much.


    Personally I couldn''t wait, money for me meant materials and soon time at the forge; it meant another step on my journey to abusing this Skyrim skill for all its worth. Hell, maybe I could even buy some higher tier magic stones and work out what''s going on there with enchanting. Plus <i>alcohol,</i> it''s been a hot minute since the last time I got drunk.


    ?


    -


    Raul and Ilya split off the moment we broke the surface, with the level four going deathly pale when he saw the darkened night sky. He ran off muttering to himself about how Riveria was going to kill him with Ilya hot on his tail, leaving just me and Judith to handle the processing of our loot.


    The guild building was just coming into view as Judith finished up a story about Filian. "-and then Filian squawked like a bird and ran off." She laughed. "Apparently the girl was some ex of his that he stood up a bunch of times, <i>she was pissed."</i>


    "He ghosted her?" I shook my head.


    "Ghosted? There''s a word for that?" She blinked. I winced, my modern vernacular is probably going to get me in trouble at some point.


    "Where I come from yeah." I deflect. "It was surprisingly common."


    "Sounds like a shit place." Judith commented with the bluntness of a wrecking ball, I laughed.


    "I think it was like any place really, some good, some-"


    "-ELRIC!" I blink, looking up for who screamed my name, right before a small torpedo shaped Goddess slammed into my side. I grunted as she forced me back a step, staring down in confusion as Hestia tried to bury herself into the gap in my armour.


    "Hestia?" I ask.


    "Your Goddess?" Judith asks with a gobsmacked look on her face.


    "UuuuuUU!" Hestia lets out a weird sound into my side as her little arms cling to me like a koala. After a moment of stunned silence her teary face pops up, clearly trying to make me feel some kind of way, only problem? She was doing this in public and as much as I wanted her to like me, this was over the top enough to make <i>me</i> feel uncomfortable, and damn if that isn''t a high bar to clear.


    "ELRIC! You meanie~! How could you make me worry like this!? Baka!" She cried in that weird mix of Japanese and English the Gods seem to prefer.


    "Hestia, we''re in public." I remind her calmly, feeling like a parent calming their hyperactive child.


    "I DON''T CA-<i>HMNH!"</i> I muffle her scream by hugging her back into my side.


    "Sorry about this." I apologise to Judith who''s just been staring at us in shock along with <i>several</i> other onlookers.


    "Huh, you really weren''t shitting me before¡­" She responded faintly, presumably referring to my warnings about Gods being like children.


    "You get used to it." I commented, as Hestia started pounding at me with her little fists. In all honesty? That was a lie, I''m not used to this and if I ever become used to it, I want someone to shoot me. I might have some weird plans that involve larping as a hero for power, but not one of those plans involves being climbed like a tree by a virgin Goddess as she puts on a show of crying hysterically.


    "Carne-san?" A wild Eina appears, coming from the same direction as my Goddess looking noticeably flustered. Suddenly I was reminded of all the paperwork I was forced to do this afternoon, and how much of it was specifically these two''s fault.


    "Miss Tulle." I greet stiffly, something that causes her brow to furrow. "Did my Goddess give you a hard time?"


    "I didn''t!" Hestia exclaims as she frees her head from my side. Tulle looks surprisingly awkward at that.


    "She was quite concerned with your safety." The guild employee says diplomatically.


    "You have my sympathies." I offer sarcastically.


    "Mou~!" Hestia pouts.


    "Hestia¡­" I give my Goddess the disappointed dad routine and she almost immediately folds in on herself... for a grand total of two seconds.


    "Wait no!" Hestia rallies, glaring up at me "You''re the one that''s late! Atone Elric-kun!"


    "I''m not doing the kneeling thing." I <i>immediately</i> deny.


    "Elric-kun doesn''t love me¡­" Hestia immediately tears up.


    Rolling my eyes at the immortal being I''ve known for all of a day, I pull her back into a hug. "Hestia, I''m an adventurer, you can''t panic the very second something goes a little wrong. Just trust me a little will you?"


    She nods against my side, but stays attached like a limpet. Worst part about all this? I can''t even tell how much of this is an act. I know Hestia acted like this around Bell in the anime in order to emotionally manipulate him and/or grope him -which considering he was fourteen was <i>definitely</i> weird- but Hestia had made no such moves towards me, so I couldn''t really tell what she was aiming for with all this.


    "Sorry about this guys." I apologise to the two for the rather awkward situation they were kinda forced to watch.


    Judith rubbed the back of her neck, looking away awkwardly, while Tulle looked at me with a profoundly understanding look in her eyes.


    "It''s quite alright, I just came over to make sure Hestia-sama had no further need of our services?" My Goddess just nods into my side again, leaving Tulle without much room to respond. "Right. Carne-san." She nods to me in farewell.


    "Tulle." I return politely as she flees back to the guild. If part of her job was dealing with the manipulative children known as Gods, then I can at least sympathise with her a little more. If she unleashes any more paperwork on me however¡­


    "Right." I sighed looking down at Hestia. "Hestia, this is Judith, she''s one of the adventurers I teamed up with in the dungeon today."


    Hestia looked up with a suspicious look in her eyes, taking in the awkward redhead.


    "H-Hey Hest- <i>I mean</i> Lady Hestia." Smooth Judith, real smooth.


    "A teammate of yours?" Hestia questioned, suddenly unlatching from my side and walking forward to stare Judith in the eye, all at once abandoning her aura of childishness for something entirely more fitting for a Goddess. "And what are your intentions for Elric-kun?"


    "W-What?" Judith''s face went blank, her eyes glancing at me while I could only shrug. I guess I didn''t mention that Gods can sometimes switch personalities on a dime just to fuck with you. "I- uh¡­ I want to keep adventuring with him?"


    "Ugh, truth¡­" Hestia pouted, before she flipped again and suddenly gained a devious look on her face. <i>"Well</i> what about romantical-!?" I covered my Goddess'' mouth before she could shove her foot any further into it.


    "Sorry Judith." I apologised <i>again</i> to the furiously blushing young woman.


    "I-It''s okay." She managed, suddenly finding the floor very interesting.


    "For the record, I''d also be interested in continuing to dive with you guys." I offered to make things a little less awkward. "Today was a lot of fun."


    "A-Ah, yeah¡­" Annnd she''s still blushing.


    For a brief moment I wondered if Raul had to deal with this shit from his Goddess.


    -


    <b>Orario, Twilight Manor</b>


    <b>Raul Nord</b>


    "YOU''RE LATE!" A certain flat, red-headed Goddess shouted as she pulled off a textbook flying drop kick on her returning children. Raul expected as much and thankfully managed to get Ilya and Filian out of the way before her landing.


    "Sorry." He apologised quickly, not reacting as his Goddess slammed into the floor and rolled down the hallway in an almost comically flailing ball of limbs. Ilya''s stoic demeanour meanwhile broke slightly as she stared incredulously after her Goddess.


    "Is she¡­?"


    "I''M ALIVE!" Loki sprung back up with forced cheer, bleeding from a cut on her head.


    "She''s fine." Raul sighed. "We''ve returned Loki-sama."


    "So you did!" But her slightly opened eyes were taking in the injured team member resting in his arms. "Something happen?"


    Raul knew exactly what she was asking and shook his head. "Not an adventurer, just a Frog Shooter. He''s already had a pretty good potion but I was hoping to get him to medical."


    Loki hummed. "Concussions are nasty." Raul nodded despite his lack of knowledge on the subject; Gods rarely explained the knowledge they imparted upon mortals, it was always best to just nod along.


    "I''ll come with, and maybe..." She wiggled her fingers as she stared towards the medical wing.


    "Your funeral." Raul laughed, leading the way as Ilya trailed after him, keeping a respectful distance. He had taught the girl enough to know she wouldn''t leave their side until her comrade was given the green light.


    "Mah, Riveria''s been giving me the cold shoulder since last week, she deserves a little¡­ <i>ufufu." </i>Loki trailed off into an echoing, lewd giggle and he could feel Ilya stiffen beside him. Honestly he was as surprised at Ilya not knowing about Loki''s habits as he had been about Elric''s surprising knowledge. Loki didn''t exactly hide her preferences, even from the girls she didn''t outright go for.


    Suddenly Raul gained a devious look of his own. "If you distract her well enough, there''s a bottle of Soma with your name on it."


    Loki''s red eyes turned his way and a vulpine smile spread across her face. "I''m taking that bottle whether I succeed or not gaki." She chortled at the pained expression that spread across his face. "Speaking of, Ilya!" The girl started at the sudden call. "Tell me what happened down there, chop-chop."


    The girl seemed to fall into herself a little before recovering admirably, her back straightening as she stared at their Goddess. "While we distracted on the frontlines, a Frog Shoo-"


    "-Mah! From the beginning, <i>from the beginning.</i> You kiddies don''t appreciate a good story!" Loki demanded, as Ilya looked at him with something approaching pleading. "Oi no looking at Raul, I wanna hear it from you."


    Raul shook his head, Loki seemed to have made it her mission to make the withdrawn girl come out of her shell a little. Ilya wasn''t anywhere near as bad as Ais had been back then, but their familia was a little sensitive to emotionally withdrawn girls who hyper fixated on hitting things with swords.


    Still, he doubted anything would come of pushing the girl like this.


    "I¡­ I guess it started when I ate some fruit for breakfast?" Ilya informed them cluelessly, and Loki immediately turned around and slammed her head into a wall. Amazingly enough Raul actually sympathised with his Goddess for once.


    "Gah! The beginning of the <i>adventure!"</i> Loki cried.


    "We met at Babel?" Ilya tried.


    "Hey look, we''ve arrived!" Raul announced cheerfully, apparently Loki''s mission would have to wait. "Ilya, can you?" The girl took off immediately, taking Filian from his arms and heading inside.


    "That girl¡­" Loki shook her head.


    "She''s not that bad." Raul commented. "You just caught her off guard and she still¡­"


    "Has some respect for me?" His Goddess commented mirthfully.


    "We all respect you Loki-sama." He responded, before wincing. "We just don''t respect some of your tendencies."


    Loki hummed, before completely switching the subject. "The Frog Shooter, did they make it to the fifth floor or?"


    "You can always wait until you update their Falna¡­" Raul teased, knowing how much his Goddess both loved and hated not knowing, she gave him a flat enough look that he immediately caved. "They made it to the fifth with a stray they picked up on the way."


    "A stray?" She asked, interest in her tone.


    "Some hotshot rookie from Hestia-sam-"


    "HAH~? Itty Bitties!?" She exclaimed, her annoyance conveyed by every inch of her face. "That useless Goddess doesn''t even have a familia!"


    "Apparently it was his first day." Raul added with an amused smirk.


    "First¡­ on the fifth floor?" Loki made a show of her confusion, twisting in place with her head in her hands, but he could see the analytical glint in her eyes. "What kind of skill did this kid luck into?"


    "Damage, didn''t seem to have a specific type; he was using some cheap sword that was cutting through bone like butter."


    "Her first kid¡­ Ugh, that stupid woman was always stupidly lucky." Loki grumbled. "And he was just demonstrating this in front of you lot? He know ya one of mine?"


    "Yeah, he recognised me right away." Raul responded, thinking back on that curious moment, there was something in the man''s eyes when he spotted Raul, something that went beyond simple recognition. "He thinks we wouldn''t snatch him for the sake of our reputation."


    Loki outright laughed at that. "A little naive, but sounds like an interesting enough brat¡­"


    Raul hummed. "He even introduced himself as an alchemist and offered us free potions; I honestly thought he was trying to get himself recruited for a minute there."


    "You offer?" She asked with no judgement in her tone, if anything she seemed excited.


    "Yeah, he said he''d convey the offer to his Goddess." Loki cackled at that, thoughts of stealing Hestia''s first child from her clearly playing out on her features. Raul didn''t really know what the rivalry between the two Goddesses was about, but the side he had to support was pretty clear. "I''m meeting him for drinks in a bit, if you want to get his measure."


    "Hoh?" His Goddess looked up with an expression to foretold mischief. "That sounds pretty interesting, but for now, <i>I have an elf to lewd, ufufu!"</i> She whispered the last part, stalking into the infirmary with a death wish.


    As Raul listened to the violent crashing within, he let out a faint prayer of thanks for the actions of his noble Goddess. With her valiant sacrifice maybe, just maybe, he''d make it out of this without facing Riveria''s wrath.


    Or at least that''s what he thought, right up until the door slammed open and the high elven princess stood before him with an unreadable expression on her dignified face.


    He almost whimpered.


    "Ilya told me what she could." Riveria began, her serious gaze boring into him. He gulped, already not knowing where this conversation was going. "What did you notice about the potion you gave Fil?"


    "Eh?"


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