《Monster Lord》


 Chapter 1

    Some sparks lit up the night, in the darkest parts of the forest. The already dense essence gathered around a single spot. Something began to take shape, began to absorb all the ambient essence. The woods were silent. No creature was nearby to call out and even the wind stopped blowing. At a single point, close to the ground, something started glowing. Something appeared in the light, barely noticable behind the glow. It started out small, like a marble. That marble grew and started to have irregularities. With some imagination you could see a head forming, until it actually looked like a fetus. It took shape according to human development, but way faster than any human could grow. What used to be a fetus was now a baby. And you could barely blink your eyes before the baby had formed into a toddler. Still in fetal position, unmoving and unalive. The toddler grew into a child and the growth rate slowed down. It still grew, incredibly fast, when compared to a normal growth rate, but noticable slower than before. When the body looked around 14 years old, the lights faded, until there was merely a faint glow around the shape. When there was barely any light left, the body started to move. Its lips opened a tiny bit and a small breath was let out. Then it opened its eyes.


    It was night when I woke up. I didn''t exactly remember how I fell asleep, but I must have been tired. Maybe drunk too, because there was no way I would fall asleep in a forest. My body felt hard to move, so I let it rest. Laying on the forest floor, the fresh air filled my lungs. The trees grew close to each other and there was plenty of ground vegetation. Only in my spot was a tiny clearing. I tried to remember things, like how I got here, but it all felt so far away. Like it happened a long time ago. There is probably still something in my system. I remember laughing with people. Friends? Family? I can''t see their faces, but I know for sure that I had them. Did I have a forest close to my house? I think so, but I also somehow think this isn''t that forest. My cat should be nearby. What color cat did I have again? And my keys... Crap, I am naked. Did I lose my clothes somewhere? I am never drinking again.


    I didn''t manage to fall asleep until morning. Lucky for me it was summer. Even though it was a bit cold, there was no direct danger for hypothermia. But even as some rays of sunlight graced the forest floor, most were held back by the many branches and leaves of the canopy. Finding my clothes would be hard, if not impossible. I toyed with the idea of waiting until my memory came back, but there was no telling when that would happen and I was already getting hungry. Though walking in a random direction could lead me deeper into the forest, nothing was ever gained by sitting in one place.


    The air was cold and humid, but it felt comfortable. Like a soft blanket in your lungs. After walking for about an hour, the forest seemed to get lighter. Light shining through the leafy roof became more consistent and the moss on the forest floor reflected the sunrays so it had a golden, cozy feeling. It was very much like those forests they film for advertisements, but I still hadn''t found my clothes and after walking around so long it was quite chilly. I didn''t think I was going to get them back anymore. They were officially lost. Forever. At some point I found a small creek that I followed downstream for a while, hoping to find a lake with a city or village around it. Maybe some tourists that could be asked for direction. It would make sense for people to gather around water. Already feeling embarrassment for m¨¦nage ¨¤ troi them naked, but the other option was to bury myself alive in the woods. It was something that had to be done, no matter how much I hated it.


    Some leaves were rustling, and when I looked in that direction a dog came out. It was the largest dog I had ever seen. Looked a bit like a deerhound. It stood still and stared at me. I am not scated of dogs, but this one was huge. I went through my knees and held my hand out. If this dog was a pet and not part of some wild pack, it might be able to lead me back to its home! I could reall use a place with people right now. The dog set a step forward, as if it was considering approaching me. Then he walked faster. Walked like he wasnt going to stop at my hand. Sped up even. And then he went right past me. I looked back at where he was going and saw a group of three men, dressed in dark colored clothes, stand at some distance behind me. One of them ran towards me, yelled something. The dog seemed to go at him, running fast now, though I knew a sighthounds top speed was much faster than this. Then one of the men behind shot an arrow and the dog yelped as it fell down. It didn''t get up. I fell on my butt in shock. Was it okay to kill a dog just like that? I guess it was attacking them, but I would never have had the guts to just kill like that. It made me shiver a bit thinking how much danger I had been in. If the dog had decided to attack me instead, I might have been left with a badly bitten arm. Or even killed by an arrow, if it missed.


    The guy who had been running towards me had come close without me realizing. Underneath his hood he had a short brown beard and very light brown eyes, almost orange. He took off his coat and placed it on me. Then he lifted me on my legs and hugged me.


    "We will get you back home, I promise."


    It threw me off a bit how large he was. Sure, he didnt look small, but compared to me he was a giant. I didnt speak. I kind of wanted to, but always found it hard to talk to strangers, and its not like he asked me some question I had to answer. So in silence I walked next to him, assuming we went to a city, and assuming that city was close.


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    It took longer to get there than I thought. I estimated it took around 2 hours. We could have been faster if I didn''t need to take that many breaks, but the earlier walk, the cold, and the lack of breakfast had taken its toll on me. It was embarrassing, but the men were very patient and never said a bad word about me.


    The first thing I saw about the city was a wooden pallisade surrounding it. There were guards stationed here and there, but the entrance itself wasn''t guarded and we could just walk straight through. Inside the city the buildings were made of stone with wooden details. Not the neat rectangular brick I was used to, but irregular pieces of rock, held together by cement. The streets were narrow and there was not a cat in sight. It all felt very unfamilliar.


    "This isn''t my city..."


    A fear crept up to me. Something I read about in stories, but I never thought possible to happen to me. I might be in another world.


    "This is Motse, what city are you from?" the man who lent me his coat, who was called Catch, asked.


    I didn''t recognise the name at all. Not from where I lived or nearby cities or something you might see on a map. I couldn''t imagine what theories they would come up with if I told the truth and that city didn''t exist. It might be better to chalk it up to memory loss, which is partially the truth anyways.


    "I don''t know, I can''t quite remember..."


    Catch looked at me with pity. Great, just get this over with...


    "I will make sure you are taken cate of, don''t you worry." He placed a hand on my shoulder, as to physically reassure me.


    At least it sounds like I won''t be thrown into an unfamilliar world which leaves me to risk my life fighting against monsters which somehow makes me enough money for a place to stay on the first day. Always thought that sounded a bit unrealistic. If some new guy with 0 knowledge or skills could get rich, why wasn''t everyone adventuring? It calmed me down a bit. Catch sounded reliable. I would have nothing to lose from following him around a bit.


    First we had to go by Catch''s job, for him to say he was out of the field and to report his findings. I had assumed Catch was a classic fantasy adventurer, fighting monsters for quests and loot. The building would have been a grand guild hall with a reception and a quest board and plenty of tables for hunters to rest and drink, but reality was a bit different. The building was grand, all right, but it was more like an office building. We skipped straight past the reception and went up a floor to something like a shared office, where Catch filled in some files and put them in some container, which had a strange, but comfortable feeling about it. He also put in a letter, probably about me. The initial files seemed to have disappeared by the time he put in the letter, but he didn''t seem alarmed or worried. Maybe it was magic. All fantasy worlds had magic, right?


    Catch looked pretty young, but he already had his own house. It looked pretty small and cramped between other houses, with a street somehow even more narrow than the others, but the inside was pretty big and the window placement gave it a spacious feeling. He led me upstairs and showed me an empty room. This would be my room for the time being. He didn''t have a spare bed, so he put some blankets on the floor. Good enough for me. I was already thankful to have a roof over my head. I didn''t really feel like repeating my night in the forest.


    Since Catch had the rest of the day off he showed me around a bit. We went to the market and he let me pick out vegetables for tonight. I didn''t see anything I recognised, so I picked whatever seemed the most familliar. It was green, a bit lighter than most vegetables, and had long, flat, thin leaves which spread out a bit like coriander, but was way larger. It had a stem that was a bit thicker and looked crispy. The root was already cut off. Just hope I didn''t look too clueless about the vegetables. The last thing I wanted right now were questions about where I came from. Catch bought some meat that looked like chicken.


    Catch also introduced me to some of his friends and aquantances. People I could run to if something happened. His words, not mine. The vegetable lady for example, I heard she adopted some children and is always looking to extend a helping hand. She looked very nice. Also the tailor. I could always walk into his shop for any reason. Then his ranger friend. Yes, Catch was a ranger, not an adventurer, not sure about the difference, but they were Catch''s closest friends and they often hung out together. He also led me to the ward building. The wards were the soldiers that were stationed guarding the wall. There were also some walking around the city or just lounging in the ward building. He didn''t know any of them personally, but wards are supposed to help with any conflicts people cannot resolve by themselves.


    With that the day came to an end. The people here didn''t live by a clock so much, even though they had some to tell time, but instead calibrated everything to the sunrise and -set. In the dark demons were much more likely to attack, so everyone but the night wards were supposed to go home and be safe. Even though there was no law requiring people to stay inside, people just did it like it was common sense.


    The food was pretty good. The vegetable was sweet and soft, though it still required a knife to cut. The chicken turned out to not be chicken and was slightly chewier, but combined with the sauce it was alright.


    After dinner we talked a bit. I thanked Catch again, because he is really going out of his way to make things comfortable for me. We went over tomorrow and how he will have to work tomorrow, but can get off early, much like today, and help me find my way in society. But I won''t be allowed to follow him along and have to stay home. I didn''t have much of an issue with that. If he was an adventurer -or ranger as they call that here- it would be dangerous for an untrained person without skills to face off monsters. I would much prefer to stay home and experiment a bit. Today was a bit hectic, but now I know I''m in another world, maybe I can get a skill menu to show up tomorrow. Maybe I got some crazy skills to practice tomorrow.

 Chapter 2

    I just didn''t expect how boring it would be. I tried the skill menu thing, called a bunch of phrases, made some gestures, took 30 minutes at most. Then it was just sitting there and imagining time go by. Carch had instructed me not to go outside. I could still go if I wanted to, but he didn''t lock the door and I didn''t have a key, so I would be leaving the house vulnurable if I went outside. That didn''t sit right with me. And besides that, where would I go? I didn''t see anything resembling electricity, so I highly doubt thet would have computers around here. What did I do for fun before? I don''t have friends to fall back on here, where would I make friends? What do people around here do for fun? Weave a basket? Or some magic stuff that I don''t know how to do yet?


    I went to the roof. Of all places in the house to be, the roof was the most interesting. My room had a window and if you stood on it with your body outside, you could grab on to some stone that was sticking out. If you then pulled yourself up a bit and managed to get your feet on top of the window, it was easy to just walk on the roof. The roof went up a bit if you walked to the back and was connected to the houses next to it, but even though most of the houses on this side of the street were connected, it was common that there was some height difference compared to the houses next to it, making the roofs seem irregular. I laid down on the roof with my feet down, facing the sun.


    It was fine for a bit until some children saw me. They started looking and pointing, saying I wasnt supposed to be up there. One of them even went as far as throwing pebbles. Thats when I went back inside. I didn''t need to give children a wrong example and I certainly didn''t need to be the object of ridicule. I spent the rest of the day chanting embarrassing spells (which never worked) and launching myself from one wall to the other, sliding across the floor.


    I noticed there were quite a few objects in this house that could not be explained without magic. Lights without electricity, or some sort of food storage where you could move the items around through some sort of touchscreen. Except there were no wires.


    Carch came back early, like promised, even though it felt like an eternity. He sat down with me and started the conversation.


    "If you dont remember what city you lived in, I think it would be good to continue your apprenticeship here."


    Apprenticeship? I guess thats one of the ways things are different over here. Best not to let him know I had no idea what he was talking about. I nodded.


    He continued. "What did you do before coming here?"


    I had not expected this question at all. I probably should have, it was not that weird of a question, but I guess I had been avoiding thinking about the past. Any memories from before I came here were all so foggy and partial.


    "Something with plants I think..."


    I said those words before I had thought about them. Plants? I guess it feels familiar, but I really can''t remember anything specific about it. And surely I made a mistake by not being specific, not remembering enough. I looked at Carch, expecting him to suspect me from the most horrible things, but he looked at me with pity.


    "Its alright, we can look around and see what fits you most."


    He continued to speak about common plant related professions, like herbalist, where you collect and store plants. Or gardner, where you farm common vegetables and herbs. The one that appealed to me the most was alchemist. Alchemists worked closely together with herbalists, especially during apprenticeship. They would go out and collect rare plants in the forest and brew potions with them. Those potions had magical or medicinal effects. During times of need they would also be recruited by doctors to tend to patients. Though I liked the idea of being outside, this was my chance to participate in the magical side of this world, without putting my life in danger by fighting monsters.


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    The alchemists weren''t particularly impressed. Though they were willing to take me in as an apprentice, I would have to start from scratch, not taking any experience I might have into account. Fine by me. Its not like I knew how to alchemist anyways. Apparently there were a lot of people aiming to become alchemist, but requirements were strict and tied to ability instead of years of experience, so a large part of alchemist apprentices opt to become herbalist if they are not accepted as alchemist after a few years. There was no maximum amount of time you could take for an apprenticeship, but fulltime herbalist got better money and respect than a failed alchemist apprentice.


    Two days I was supposed to join herbalists looking for plants in the forest. Three days I would stay with them in the city and watch them sort the plants, helping wherever I can. Then one day I was free and didnt have to show up. This world didn''t seem to have the concept of a weekend, instead people had a day off every 4-6 days, so not everyone was free the same days. We looked around a bit and spent time until the herbalists came back. I was introduced to the team I was supposed to join tomorrow.


    The leader of the team was Terron. He was a cheerful guy. He had short, dark hair that went up at the front. He was muscular and wore short sleeves and high boots. Technically he wasn''t a herbalist, but he was responsible for the group. Make sure no one stays behind, keep to the safer areas, etc. Nicchy was the most experienced herbalist. She had chosen to be a herbalist straight from apprenticeship and has never lost her enthousiasm. Her closest colleague was Thomias, a herbalist that just finished his apprenticeship last year. He was a short, scrawny man. Lacked the obvious enthousiasm of Nicchy, but his eyes lit up whenever he heard something of interest. Or when Nicchy was talking.


    Apart from me there were two apprentices, who both had been in this group for quite a while. Sallo was a herbalist apprentice. He looked quite young, but it was clear he knew his stuff. He had one extra day off compared to the adults, so he would be gone once every two weeks on the days that I was there. Roodon was the only one who seemed to lack enthousiasm for the outside. He was an alchemist apprentice like me, but he clearly had places he would rather be.


    As an apprentice I was supposed to show up early. Terron would leave with or without apprentices and by no means was an apprentice allowed in the forest alone. Wether I could pass to the next phase was largely dependent on Nicchy''s opinion, and bad attendence would certainly not help.


    We went straight home after that. It was getting darker and you could see people stopping their activities to get inside. We didn''t need to hurry, but with everyone trying to get off the street there was little we could do anymore. When home Carch prepared the same vegetable as yesterday, but today he cut it in large, thin strings and baked it until it was crispy and then salted it. We didn''t really have dinner but instead ate the snackified vegetable with a game Carch taught me.


    It was a board game where the board was a map divided in different areas. Each player had a token that could either move areas or do an action in the current area. The goal was to cleanse the map of all the monsters. Monsters would multiply automatically and could overwhelm the players with numbers. We played a few rounds until I got the hang of it, then we went to bed. I noticed Carch could manipulate the lights by just touching a seemingly disconnected pad. It must be magic. Would it be ok to ask, or was manipulating magic common knowledge here? It probably was, if even the lights needed magic.

 Chapter 3

    The day was cloudy, but still pretty light. It didn''t feel that cold either. Perfect for a first day as apprentice. I was the first to arrive. I was pretty nervous about being on time, so I looked around for the others. Maybe they had already gone somewhere else. But then Sallo arrived. Apparently I was really early.


    Usually Sallo was the first, so he was surprised to find me already there. He explained that coming early for apprentices was a formal rule, but not really enforced in this group. They would even wait a while if you were late, as long as it didn''t happen too often. Then Nicchy and Thomias joined up. Nicchy gave me a filled water bottle and some beef jerky. We would be out all day, so it wasn''t a luxury to have plenty to eat and drink. I had completely forgotten about it, so I thanked Nicchy from the bottom of my heart. She waved it off saying it was her duty to take cate of the new ones.


    Roodon came running along and right behind him Terron showed up, which explained why Roodon was in such a hurry. Terron grabbed a clipboard and took attendance. His job was partly making sure apprentices didn''t stray too far, a little bit fighting monsters, but mostly paperwork. I guess its the same whichever world you go. After Terron was done he took the lead to the city gate.


    The forest didn''t start immediately after the city wall. First there was around 300 meters of grassy field before the first trees started. Terron explained that the field was well maintained and trees were culled before they could grow. It was so that the guards could shoot any monster that targeted the city. Apparently it wasn''t common for monsters to leave the forest. Even if they did, at most they would take a few steps out before going back again. But every now and then when the monsters overpopulated, they would storm the city with a bunch at the same time. If that happened it was an emergency for everyone with a related job to come and help.


    As a ranger, Catch would have to directly fight the monsters. I would have to tend to the wounded with the alchemists and doctors, though inexperienced as I was, my tasks would be simple. It made me uncomfortable that this was something that could happen, but Terron reassured me it was such an anomaly that if you are lucky, you could live your whole life without seeing it even once. But in case it did happen a system was set in place to reduce casualties. I took this as a red flag and assumed I wouldn''t be part of the lucky generation.


    The trees were sparse at first, but became denser the further we came. Nicchy pointed out a few plants on the way, but explained that they were going over it quickly, because they decided to go deeper into the forest today, looking for the rarer plants. To make it that far we had to keep the pace and not slow down to collect plants of lesser value.


    The deeper we came, the more apparent that strange, comfortable feeling became. Like a weighted blanket, it became ever cozier. Though as relaxed as I felt, I saw the rest of the group didn''t share the same emotions. They were constantly looking around them with worried expressions on their faces. Especially Terron couldn''t keep his eyes on the path for more than two seconds. People had stopped chatting about trivalities and even Nicchy stayed silent.


    Eventually Terron signalled for a break. The apprentices let out a collective sigh and together with them I sat down on the nearest rock. The others were slower to sit down, but eventually everyone was drinking their water and eating whatever snacks they had packed. They started to relax a bit and softly talked again. Except for Terron, who stood watch. At a moment like this it seemed too much of a burden for just one person to be responsible for the safety of a whole group. He couldn''t even have a proper break and needed to stay vigilant. No one else seemed to have a problem with it, perhaps because they were used to it.


    Terron mumbled under his breath something about how weird it was that they hadn''t run into any monsters yet, which I found weird, because I had seen them. I had seen the leaves rustling, I had seen the tracks of a creature that had neither hoof nor paw, I had seen a deer in the distance, with just one antler and large, red eyes. They just chose to be there and not engage. What did they expect animals to do?


    After about 15 years we were good to go again. And it wasn''t that long until we slowed down severly to collect plants. Nicchy told me to just dig up anything I saw and check in with Sallo for which plants were better and which parts we actually needed. The plants here weren''t so different from what I was used to. They all had roots and leaves, and some had flowers. Its just that I couldn''t tell any by name. Maybe I would be able to if that memory fog actually cleared up, but for now I was left with the feeling I would be able to recognise them if there were any memories to match them with.


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    Terron looked like his job had just started, even though he had been working hard this whole time. Every now and then he made some noise and we were supposed to look at him and get closer if needed. His eyes were everywhere and he looked ready for anything, though nothing happened. It made me a bit nervous. If the danger was that high, what was I doing here, with my eyes on the ground? But nothing happened. It stayed quiet until Terron called us to head back.


    Even though I worked to the best of my abilities, the other apprentices had collected more than twice as much as me. I guess thats the result of practice. I just hoped I wouldn''t be a burden that didn''t collect enough plants.


    The way home was silent as well. At first everyone seemed nervous to still be that deep into the forest, but the closer we came to the city, the more exhaustion set in. Though it was worse for me than for the others, no one seemed to have the spare energy to make idle chat.


    When entering the city, Terron talked a bit to one of the guards, but I couldn''t hear what they were talking about. As soon as we entered the city we split ways. Herbalists and apprentices went to the herbalist building, while Terron went off somewhere else. Paperwork probably. We were led to some kind of lobby where the apprentices sat down while Nicchy and Thomias collected our plants. There were about two hours of daylight left. Nicchy and Thomias were supposed to help sorting for another hour, but apprentices were free to do what they wanted with the rest of the day.


    What we wanted to do was not move for a while. At first we just sat in silence, but the others quickly regained their energy. Especially Sallo was chatty. He went on about his first day and how he was way worse than me. He also told me that with Roodon they had to turn back early, because he didn''t make it a full day at first. Roodon face turned red a little and he yelled back all of Sallos mistakes that he could think of in that moment. I was too exhausted to make conversation, so I just sat there and nodded. But to be honest, it did make me feel better.


    Especially Roodons reaction made me chuckle a bit. Alchemists werent supposed to be out in the field all day. Once we progresses in our apprenticeship we would spend less and less time outside, but if every day would be like this, I could understand why some people wanted to be herbalists.


    After Sallo asked why I was a new apprentice at my age I told him I was new here. I obviously didn''t tell him the whole story. I didn''t tell him I came from another world and I didn''t tell him I had memory loss. I only told him I had to move here and had been here just a few days and how I liked it so far. Sallos eyes lit up. He jumped up from his bench and dragged me along outside. Roodon had to come too, though he didn''t seem to like it at all.


    We went to as many new places as the time allowed and still had only seen about the quarter of the city closest to the gate. The north gate, apparently, as there were five more gates. There was a really impressive playground that was built mostly from logs and rope, and children climbed all over it and played tag and other games. There was also an abandoned house. The children claimed it was haunted. It certainly wasn''t maintained in the last few decades, so I could see why they thought so.


    There was also a small stream flowing through the city. Was that the same stream I was following when I first got here? It wasn''t large enough to do anything useful with, other than grabbing a bucket of water, but the children loved to play here during warmer days.


    When the sun was about to set we parted ways. We all lived in the same area and luckily I recognised it around here. When I went inside Catch seemed nervous.


    "I''d rather you come home a bit earlier. What were you doing anyways? I thought the apprentices would get off early."


    I shrugged my shoulders.


    "I was just walking around with Sallo and Roodon."


    What was with him that he wanted to know where I was at all times? Its not like being out in the dark is instant death. Its not even illegal. Its just a bit more dangerous and staying inside is considered good behaviour. And here I was: inside. The sun hasn''t even completely set yet. As I had an internal monologue about how much bullshit this was, Catch seemed relieved.


    "I''m glad you are making friends, but I''d still like it if you came home a bit earlier."


    Talk about overprotectiveness. But I made some agreeing sounds. Its not like I''d want to be outside even more after already having been outside all day.


    After that Catch acted like nothing had happened. I couldn''t forget so easily, but still tried to not bring the mood down. Catch had tried so hard for my sake, I should not be grumpy in his house. And today I discovered this world had something that resembled a tv. A small, mostly see through plate that acted like a projector once Catch did his magic stuff. Its just that every movie was its own tv. And it wasnt even really a movie. It was like a recorded theater performance. Can be good, I guess, but for a magic world they sure lacked special effects.

 Chapter 4

    The second day was about the same as the first one, except this time I brought my own lunch. Small pieces of some kind of bread that had a much higher density than I was used to and tasted salty. They were meant to be eaten on their own, so they were a bit dry, but it was very filling and didn''t take up much space in my pockets.


    Today I was as tired as I was the first day. No, I think the exhaustion set in even earlier today. You would think I would gain some stamina, but no, my body is a cruel joke. We stayed out of the denser parts of the forest today, so we didn''t see many rare plants, but I got better at recognising the plants and taking their useful parts undamaged. Though the amount I gathered was still neglible compared to the more experienced apprentices.


    Terron seemed much more relaxed today, though he was filling things out on his clipboard every now and then, mumbling about how weird it was to see so few monsters in these parts. I didn''t have time to observe the wildlife today. Eyes on the ground, spying even those little plants that everyone in their right mind would walk over, because in my mind plant gathering had become a competition and I was determined to not stay last place forever.


    Spending so much time outside made me think about how different it was compared to my previous life. My memories were still foggy and mostly inaccessible, but I remembered life being much more fast paced than this. Every hour had to have some purpose, if it wasn''t being productive, it was filled with intense entertainment. It was also mostly inside. Rushing from one destination to the other.


    Though I missed all the sensory input, especially during the evening hours, being outside like this also had a certain something. It wasn''t as fun as the video games in my past world, but it felt healthy. I was sure that by just breathing the air over here I could extend my lifespan.


    But talking about lifespan, I had no idea how advanced medical care was over here. They might be able to cure an awful lot with the alchemist potions and magic, but in the fantasy stories I read, they didn''t know about most less obvious diseases. It could also be that they relied on magic so much that they forgot normal healing.


    Well, best not to dwell on it. I''m sure the doctors here would do whatever they can, and its not like I got some advanced medical knowledge myself. I know how to spalk a leg and how to clean a wound, but thats about it, and I''m sure such simple things are not some kind of lost knowledge.


    The third day I was supposed to go plant sorting in the herbalist building. I forgot, so I automatically walked to the meeting place, but Roodon caught me and led me to the building without saying a word. Roodon being early? Surely the stay at home herbalists were less lenient with tardiness. I caught a glimpse of my familiar group before I left, that seemed a lot less familiar all of a sudden. Nicchy hadn''t arrived yet and there were two strange apprentices. And Sallo of course. I dont think he saw me.


    The main building was a lot less welcoming than the group. I wasn''t assigned a specific mentor and instead had to figure it all out by watching everyone, but every time I tried to do things, someone yelled at me. No one really told me what I did wrong and how I could do better, just that I had to stay out of it and watch from the sidelines. It was the most useless I had felt since coming to this world.


    The bin where we threw our plants in the last two days was actually open on the lower side. Plants slowly slid out into a smaller bin where the sorters would grab them and place them somewhere else. It was here that my plant knowledge was really lacking. I thought I learned a lot the past two days. I could identify nearly every plant I gathered by name, but here were so many plants I had never even seen before, and I didn''t just need to know them by name, I needed to know which part or parts were actually needed, for what they were needed, what method should be used to conserve them, and probably even more things I couldn''t even think about.


    Eventually I just picked a person that sorted what seemed like a common plant. I followed the whole route and memorized it, so I could sort that plant, and only that plant, myself. Then I only got yelled at for standing in the way and not being fast enough. That is, until someone yelled at me for putting too many of that plant in the same place. Apparently that plant had multiple uses and sorting should be balanced.


    Working here made me tired, maybe even more than walking in the forest all day, but in a different way. Only halfway through the day and I couldn''t care less about the yelling and what I was doing wrong. It made me reconsider becoming an alchemist. But what else? I don''t think switching apprenticeships is something easy to make happen here, and I''m already old for being an apprentice. I need to fit in here, not just do whatever I want. Push through a bit, I''m sure it will be easier when I''m more skilled.


    Maybe I''ll even be everyones boss and no one will make me do anything. Thinking about the future feels so surreal when I don''t have a past here. Like I will just disappear the way I came. Funny how my previous world still feels like ''my'' world and ''my'' life, even though I disappeared from there and my memories right now are much clearer than any from before I came here. But its definitely real. I went through so much effort and exhaustion, and if it was a dream I''d just skip over the boring parts. Time moved way too slow for that.


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    The plants that were sorted were taken to store or prepare for storage by other herbalists. This would never be part of my alchemist training. I guess there were some herbalist specific things too. The building was so large, I''m sure there are many parts I don''t know about yet. And this wasnt the only building. There were a few more spread across the city, each with a slightly different purpose. Guess I missed orientation day for that. Not that it mattered, getting to another part of the city every day would be too hard on foot, and I was already lucky to be able to live with Carch, no way I would get that same luck just asking strangers to move in with them. But I don''t think it would have mattered. With how early they made kids choose an apprenticeship, I don''t think they actually care how many of them find their calling. Eiter you have a job, or you don''t. No second thoughts allowed.


    When the day was done, so was I. No way I had to spend the majority of my time here. I knew it would be less as I progressed my apprenticeship, but there wasn''t something like a timeline, so it could take forever.


    As if Carch knew how stressful this day would be, he was waiting to take me on a walk through the city. Through the park, to be exact. In a ring around the middle of the city they used to have a patch of grass. Then some people planted flowers. And trees. Soon it became a project of the people to maintain this piece of nature without monsters. Not too long ago they even demolished some houses to make the park even bigger. You could truly feel how much it was appreciated. I should contribute a bit on my free days.


    The park was beautiful, and it didn''t feel like you were surrounded by the city on both sides at all. It also wasn''t some random collection of plants, like its origin would suggest, there was truly put thought into this. The path was gravel, and on both sides was grass growing, surprisingly green, though visibly less so under the shadow of trees. Trees were spaced out, so there was plenty of sunlight shining through, even more than on the city streets, which were often narrow with two story buildings on both sides. Every now and then you passed a pretty bush, or some flowerbed. The more delicate ones were surrounded by a small fence. Never once I saw signs not to pick the flowers. Either it was allowed and just not a problem, or people over here had common sense. I could feel all the stress melting away. Truly an oasis in an already not that busy city.


    I wanted to go back. It was nice here. In the park certainly, but the rest of the world was also pretty alright. Maybe even more so than my old one. But I still felt this longing. I felt out of place here. I was out of place. I should be trying to blend in more. Make some history. Find my place. But I couldn''t even imagine that really happening. When I imagined myself 30 years in the future, I would have a decent job, friends, maybe even a family, but that feeling would still be there. It wasn''t my choice to be here and as far as I knew I had no way to go back. Were the people here even aware of other worlds? In my world they were certainly not. Maybe the magic here had a clue, a way to travel worlds, but I couldn''t even find the courage to ask how to turn on the light. It must have been showing on my face.


    "Whats bothering you?"


    Carch looked in my direction, probably had been for a while, but I hadn''t noticed because I was staring at the ground.


    "Nothing. I just miss home. Isn''t that weird? I cant even remember clearly and I still miss it."


    Those words came out without thinking. I had been trying to keep it secret exactly how few memories I had, and also... to talk about my home like this? Someone is bound to notice inconsistencies if I keep talking like that, mixing truth with lies.


    "Its not weird to miss something you know you had, even if you can''t quite remember what it was." He paused a bit. "Old people often think fondly of their youth, but it has been so many years, I doubt they remember properly. And in their age they made children work during the night, so it can''t have been that good!"


    It made me think a bit. What if my world wasn''t as good as I thought is was because I''m only remembering the good parts? What if I manage to return and get homesick for this place? But I felt such a strong pull, can feelings this strong even be wrong?


    "Maybe..." I answered, as to not let the conversation grow silent, but not willing to explain my entire thought process.


    Carch smiled. He had a very reliable vibe right now.


    "You just live here until you start remembering things. I''m sure it won''t be long now, kids are resilient, you''ll bounce right back!"


    Kids? Was he calling me a child? I''m pretty sure I wasn''t one. Then again, I can''t remember my age. But I''m pretty sure I did adult stuff like renting houses and paying taxes. I certainly felt like I haven''t been a kid in a long time. But I did do an apprenticeship. I never saw an adult apprentice. Maybe because everyone learns a trade as a child and stays in the same place for the rest of their life? What happened to the adults that didn''t do an apprenticeship?


    I felt like running away. Far far into the woods, to that place that felt so comfortable and then keep running. Keep running until my legs give out. Who am I kidding? My legs would give out long before I reached that place. And running would be a dumb thing to do. I was safe here. I had someone take care of me, even if he thought of me as a child, and I was set up to get a job somewhere in the future. It would be dumb to leave that behind to go to the forbidden danger of the nightly woods. The people here certainly seemed to think that wasn''t something you could come back alive from. But I already did on my first night here. Was I just extremely lucky? But those were thoughts for later. For now, I needed a mirror. I just needed to know what I looked like.

 Chapter 5

    That is when I found out there were surprisingly little mirrors in this world. I didn''t notice any in the house, but maybe I didnt see them, so I looked again. The cutlery was made of wood and while the windows were glass (at least I thought they were glass, but they felt a little off), with no combination of light and darkness could I get a reflection to show.


    Work was the same as yesterday, except I spent all my concentration to analyze how people treated me. Did they see me as a kid? I certainly didn''t get a lot of respect, but that could easily be explained as I was a know nothing newbie. There wasn''t a lot of free time to interact with people out of work context, and most were very withdrawn. Even when I found Roodon, I didn''t get much of a clue. He basically just sat there, eating his food while accepting my presence. I didn''t have the guts to ask directly.


    When work was done I avoided everyone I knew and hurried to the stream, only to remember that a flowing stream with plenty of rocks doesn''t make for a good mirror. I scooped up some water with both my hands and tried to see my reflection in it. It was too small to see my whole face, but when moving around I could see parts. My hair was very dark brown and short. My eyes had a chestnut color. My nose was small. Was this my face? It didn''t really feel like it, but I also couldn''t tell what was wrong. And most importantly: was it a kids face? I guess I could see how someone saw it as a kids face, but I didn''t know if my face really looked like that, because I only saw a small part at a time. I guess I needed to see at least half my face to make good judgement on that.


    But in the meantime: did I mind being treated as a kid? If I explain the truth, would they accept me as an adult, or would it just be the ramblings of a kid? Did I even want to be treated as an adult? I''ve thought about this before, but I don''t think adults without an apprenticeship have it very good here. If I couldn''t finish my apprenticeship, I''d have to rely on some unique skill I brought over from my world. Thats how the stories go, right? But I dont remember any unique skills I had. Even skills that were common there, I guess I don''t notice until it stands out. And would Carch have even picked me up if I didn''t look like a child? Surely he would have guided me out of the forest, but then what? Left me at the city gate? Its not like just anyone can pick up quests and make enough money to get a place to sleep for the night. Maybe I could have bluffed my way through back when I didn''t know the dangers yet, but now...


    I went back to the house. It was still early, but I couldn''t really think of a place I wanted to go, and my pants were wet. It wasn''t cold outside yet, but the wind was chilly, so no time to walk around with wet pants. Carch wasn''t home yet. I guess he couldn''t be home early every day. I went to my to my room and spread myself out across the floor. I had so many heavy thoughts today, it was nice to just lay down and let it all flow out. Actually, my legs were getting cold, so it was probably a good idea to change clothes.


    After that I decided to mess with the lights. Since there wasn''t something like a status panel, magic should be something that was just natural for people. Well, except for me. Bonus of not being born here. I touched the button, that was not really a button, but more a small pane. Carch could obviously do it without any incantation, so I didn''t bother embarrassing myself.


    Feel like the magic is just a muscle. The lights are an extension of your own body.


    Nothing. I really wanted to read something about this, but let alone internet, I haven''t even seen any books around here. Don''t tell me they are all magic based as well? But that means either magic is so easy any child can do it, or books are so expensive only scholars are expected to have them. Lets add this to the list of things I should not ask anyone about.


    When I was fiddling with the lamp button and thinking about what to do, I noticed a sensation at the tip of my finger. It was comparable to the feeling I had in the forest, except if the forest was like a large weighted blanket, the button was like a small piece of fleece. Was this magic? I tried to stay in that position, hoping something would happen, but instead of the lights turning on, Carch came home and I stumbled over myself trying to act like I was not just trying something stupid.


    Carch didn''t notice anything and looked tired.


    "What''s wrong? Hard day?"


    I was almost happy that he was too tired to notice me being weird.


    "Very. As much as monster activity was down these last few days, so much it went up today. We even had to fight a few times. Tegos even needs to get a bite healed."


    Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.


    Tegos was one of Carch''s friends, in the same group that I met the first time.


    "Sounds dangerous. Is there anything I can do?" I paused for a second trying to come up with things. "I can go buy food today, so you can stay home!"


    Carch smiled. "Ok, but don''t pay too much."


    I didn''t know anything about the economy here. Even if I joined Carch a few times while buying food, the currency and prices left my head as soon as I heard it. Luckily Carch continued as he gave me some money.


    "No more than 8 dal for vegetables, and around 10 dal for meat, but you can pay more if its a nice cut."


    I nodded. 8 and 10 dal. Should be easy to remember. I can do this.


    Almost smiling I walked out of the house in the direction of the market. 8 dal for vegetables, 10 dal for meat. But the real challenge was getting there and buying at least something before they all went home. It was kind of late after all, and it wouldn''t be weird for the merchants who already sold a lot to be on their way. When the narrow street widened into a small quare I already saw a lot who were breaking up their stall. Luckily there were still a few that had theirs up.


    As I walked past them and noticed that none of them had their prices visible. Breathing suddenly became harder and my vision narrowed until I only saw the thing I was directly looking at, which was a pebble. I wasn''t going home without food, but I realized I had to ask prices, maybe even haggle. And it wasn''t even my own money. If it was, I could just pay a little extra to be done with it, but I couldn''t be so irresponsible with someone elses money.


    I needed to breathe. I was on a time limit here, people were already breaking up. Meat first. It was a bit scummy of me, but I could always say it was the best looking piece out there if it was a bit more expensive. I went to the closest stall that sold meat and pointed of something of decent size.


    "How much is this?"


    I don''t think I made eye contact. I did, however, notice they wore a very nice scarf. It was knitted, but still looked pretty thin. It was made with all kinds of warm colors that blended together thanks to the wooly threads that spawned from the scarf, so it got a nice fiery look.


    "That will be 10 dal."


    "Ok."


    I rumbled through my money trying to find the right amount. It were banknotes, just like in my world, so I just needed to see them to get the right amount.


    Shit. Stupid magic world. Stupid, stupid me for not checking earlier. This money was blank. Well, not white, nothing on it, blank, but the same subtle shining overlay that all the magic objects had. Every child could do magic so naturally it didnt even need to be mentioned. I needed to figure this out. Right now. I felt the notes. Tiny bit of fleece. Were they all equal? Seemed so. No, the ones on the right were slightly softer. There seemed to be three different ones. Three different values spread over nine notes, with two of the highest value, three of the middle one and four of the lowest one. How much should I have in total? At least 18, but I wouldn''t be surprised if I got more.


    The lowest value should be 1 dal. I''d be surprised if it wasn''t so. Then it would be a really strange system. I don''t think the highest value is 10. 10 dal is the highest I''m expected to pay and I got two large notes. Instead it would be logical if it was worth 5 dal. What was the middle one worth? Probably 2 dal, but I didn''t need it. I just paid with the two large notes and was preparing to be really embarrassed if I recieved one back.


    Luckily I didn''t. They just wished me good evening like I was a normal customer and gave me the meat. They then went to other customers, not paying attention to me. I just stood there for a second, flabbergasted, until I decided it was better to walk away. Ok, vegetables next. What kind of vegetables? Doesn''t matter, lets just go through it. I found a stall that had several kinds of vegetables, but pointed at the one I had on my first day here.


    "How much is this?"


    I was painfully aware of how repetetive I was, but I just didn''t have the headspace to be original here.


    "That''s 10 dal."


    "I can only pay 8."


    What was that? What did I do? I didn''t want to be here, I couldn''t stand this situation but mostly I couldn''t stand myself.


    "Then for you it will be 8 dal."


    I looked up to the seller. She had beautiful brown eyes and smiled gently at me.


    "Thank you."


    I picked through the last of my money. Four notes worth 1 dal, and three worth 2. I thought. I gave her all four of 1 dal and two worth 2 dal. 8 dal in total. I thought. She smiled even more broadly and gave me back two of the smallest notes. My face turned as red as it has ever been and I grabbed the vegetables and walked away. I managed to utter a "thank you", but I wasn''t sure she heard.


    I ran all the way back home. I got 2 dal back. If those small notes were even worth 1 dal. 2 dal + 2x dal = 8 dal. 2x dal = 6 dal. Those notes were worth 3 dal! I had never thought 3 dal notes even existed. Influence from my previous world? I had to practice. I had to gain a lifetime of magic experience in just a day, or however long it would take for a similar situation to happen. Maybe even more than a lifetimes worth, if I was really incapable of using magic and had to work around it.


    Before I entered the house I waited for a bit. Breathing in and out, letting myself calm down. Letting the redness disappear from my face. Carch didn''t have to know what happened.

 Chapter 6

    The next day was as hard as ever. Old people yelling at me but not bothering to say how to do it right, bumping into people left and right and always being the one to blame and always feeling I lack knowledge. I''m sure I must be learning something, right? It''s what I''m here for. And during all that tumult, still keeping my eye on a mirror. I didn''t see one yesterday, so I didn''t have much hope, but I still needed that mirror.


    I was exhausted at the end of the day, but at least tomorrow would be my day off. Recharge before going into the forest again. I was a bit worried, Carch mentioned monster activity was high, and one of his friends even got bitten while fighting them. They were in a group of three, we just had one protecting us. That is assuming Nicchy and Thomias don''t know how to fight. I don''t think its included in herbalist training, but maybe if you want to gather plants in the forest you need to follow a self defense training. I wouldn''t know. Better stay close to Terron.


    But for now there were still a few hours of daylight left. What to do, roam around the city looking for a mirror, or go home and fiddle with the lamps? I already knew the answer. If even money required magic, there was a very high chance mirrors would require magic too. Even if I couldn''t magic myself a mirror, it would be good to be a functioning member of this society. But I could only do this if Carch wasn''t home, to avoid suspicion. He should be gone for at least an hour, but he had been getting off unpredictably. Probably not today, though. If he needed to deal with a monster infestation, he would probably get overtime before getting free time. I felt sorry for him, but all the better for me. If only I could make some progress.


    Tiny bit of fleece. Knowing it was there I could feel it almost immediately, without needing to concentrate as deeply as before. I moved my finger a bit, expecting to feel the soft fleece, but as soon as I moved I felt the coarse surface of the button. When I stopped I felt the fleece again. This wasn''t getting anywhere. I needed to find that magic power in me and push it through the button. I imagined drawing power from my body. From my heartbeat. From my breath. From some core like center that I could barely visualize. Nothing.


    Maybe the answer was still in feeling it better. After all, you can''t expect to do magic without mana perception. And I was able to feel more from the money. It was like I was blind, comparing sizes, but I still managed to do it, even though they all looked the same from the outside. I thought about going through Carch''s stuff to find more money, you know, for practice, but I felt like that was going too far. Better take a bit longer with the light button than steal money.


    I could actually feel more. It wasn''t clear and required a bit of imagination, but I could sense some tubes extending, with the same material as the button. They felt small, but I didn''t know exactly how small. Or where they were going. I was pretty sure they didn''t go straight, as there was another room on the other side of the wall with nothing visible, but I couldn''t sense where they went. I also couldn''t sense where they ended. I imagined there was a lamp at the end of the tubes, but my sense faded when I tried to feel further into the tubes.


    It didn''t make sense that I had to reach the actual lamps in order to turn them on, because there was a button. Wasn''t the whole purpose of a button to not reach the actual thing you want to control? Maybe its just my old world mindset and the people here can reach through those tubes with ease. I was just starting out, so it makes sense that others are way more adept at this than me. That didn''t make it less frustrating. Like I was walking through a swamp while everyone else was following a paved road. All kinds of difficulties others couldn''t even percieve, and I couldn''t talk about them without explaining why it was that I couldn''t do magic.


    I took a break from the lights and sat down in a chair. Not for long, because not even a minute later my restlessness caused me to get up and look for those tv movie thingies that I watched with Carch. They weren''t hidden, so it didn''t take long until I got them. But when touching them I noticed something strange. I got a feeling from those movies, like I had a summary projected into my head. But instead of being clear and full of spoilers, it was more like a feeling of what it was about and what emotions I would get from watching it. But no projecting happened. I tried a few poses, but eventually I got lost digging through the movies, thinking about how they were and which one I''d like best. Even though it wasn''t advancing my magic training, I got curious about them and Carch had quite a few.


    Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    Eventually I went back to the lights. Instead of trying to get far into the tubes, I focused on the button itself. On the outside it looked like just a slab of magic material, but inside it was a different story. Small details were engraved into the button, leading to the tubes with a complex mechanism.


    I truly chose the wrong apprenticeship. Why didn''t I choose to do magic in a magic world? If I could make mechanisms like this I could die happy. I studied the mechanism. Even though I couldn''t understand large parts of it, I believed the last part was meant to throw the magic all the way through the tubes, so I only needed to trigger the mechanism instead of manipulating magic to take the shape of the tubes. Back to step one I guess. Pressing the button had been my goal all along, and now, after hours of study and research, I discovered I just needed to press the button. Yay me.


    I don''t think I actually tried it yet, but I this time I tried pushing the button with all my might. Threw my weight against the wall. Of course it didn''t work. Except it did. The button remained a slab and wasn''t pressed, but the lights turned on. I let myself fall on the ground to catch my breath and admire the lamps. Its not like I hadn''t seen them before, but I hadn''t seen lamps turned on by me yet.


    But I should try to turn it off again. First, to prove it wasn''t a fluke, second to not raise suspicion if Carch suddenly came home and found the lights on before sundown. It turned out it didn''t have much to do with how hard it was pressed, but how much effort was put into it. I could turn it off by tensing every muscle in my body. That sure would be embarrassing to do in public. I guessed other people had an easier way, but I was already happy being able to do magic. It meant that I wasn''t some cripple meant to have a disability for the rest of my life. It eased up a lot of my worries. Made me think that despite how hard things were, it would be alright in the end.


    Carch came home late, around 30 minutes before sundown. I was playing with a wooden cube I found. It had smaller quares and rectangles in different colors wood. Already a pretty piece of art to just display, but this art was a toy.


    "Stange object, isn''t it?" Carch started the conversation. "It twists and turns, but no magic involved."


    I smiled. The lack of magic is why I picked it up to begin with. It was a sort of puzzle cube. By fiddling with it you were supposed to loosen up the sides and open it, but for me the real puzzle was figuring out how everything worked. To be really sure I had to split it in two, but I got a pretty good idea from just observing it.


    "It''s really well made. How was your day?"


    Carch sighed. "Same as yesterday. Except they pointed out you aren''t registered yet."


    "Registered?"


    The words sounded like every other fantasy story where you had to go by the adventurers guild to get a license, but I knew such things didn''t exist here. Maybe its more like a passport, but I felt like a passport wasn''t something you could get just because you wanted it.


    "Yeah. Your parents probably did it when you were a baby, so you might not remember. But since you''re staying here for a while, we should get you registered here too. Just in case, you know?"


    I knew what the ''just in case'' implied. I also knew that that would absolutely be the case. I didn''t have parents here that could come and get me, and even if I somehow regained my memory of my hometown, it wouldn''t be any place you could walk to. After seeing me nod, Carch continued.


    "Its too late today, but tomorrow I can be home early. It actually should have been my day off, but things are crazy busy. I did get a promise nothing would get in the way tomorrow afternoon."


    He went straight to bed after dinner, so I did too. As I stared into the darkness I kept thinking about what actually happened with the light switch. Did it measure my muscle tension? Or did I unknowingly make some kind of hand signal? Maybe magic here was something like an aura and trying so hard got it to take a certain shape. Was I supposed to see aura?


    I would love to test out all my theories, but Carch was in the room right next to mine, there was no way he wouldn''t notice. Tomorrow I was free. Tomorrow morning, at least. After that I had to go register, whatever that entailed. I probably would just have to tell them my information and wait until they got it all registered.


    Shit. My age. I hadn''t found a proper mirror yet, I couldn''t even guess my age. Maybe saying I don''t remember would work? It was worth a try, though I had to be prepared and not flinch no matter what answer was given. I sighed as I turned to my side. This sucked. I better be able to make my own magic mirror in the morning hours I had to myself. But I didn''t have hope. Even though I made great progress today, I couldn''t even imagine how I would go from turning on the light to creating a mirror.

 Chapter 7

    As soon as Carch went off to work, I went to the light button again. I hadn''t entirely finished breakfast yet, but it could wait. I''m allowed to have bad habits every once in a while. I tried different hand gestures, like pinching and making several shapes with my finger, but the light only switched when I really put in muscular effort. I tried to sense what was actually happening in the mechanism, but with all my muscles tensed it was really hard to pay attention to small things. And the mechanism was very small, and it all went so fast. But I could feel some sort of energy was created in the button. Not electrical energy, and also not something that came from within. The aura theory was currently what seemed to fit the best.


    Ok, so lets assume aura is what actually happend. I didn''t see or sense my own aura, but maybe only really talented people could. By now it was pretty clear I wasn''t one of those people born to become the strongest in the world, so it made sense I didn''t belong to some powerful elite. I tried to remember what people with aura did, but it was all pretty vague. I probably didn''t consume a lot of media regarding aura. I had a vague feeling that they meditated, so I tried that.


    I really could have used some help here. I thought meditation was just making your head empty for a while. That of its own was already not easy, but with just an empty head I couldn''t switch the light. I didn''t see aura, so I had no way of knowing if I did it right. When my head was as empty as it got, I made a forceful movement towards the button. Didn''t work. A light movement. Didn''t work again. I sacrificed the emptiness to imagine my aura taking a certain shape. Didn''t work either. It was too soon to discard the aura theory, especially when lacking something better, but at the very least meditating didn''t seem to work.


    So I tried shaping the aura. Maybe I could make some kind of aura-hand that pushed the button instead of my physical hand. I tried imagining the non visible, maybe even non existent aura to shape around my hand and pressed the button. The light didn''t turn on, but because this took significatly less effort I could try to sense what exactly was happening. Because something did happen. The mechanism didn''t shoot the aura through the tubes, but instead it dissipated somewhere right after it triggered.


    I did it again a few times, with varying effect. The aura never became stronger than it was the first time, and sometimes it didn''t activate at all. But when it did I could feel parts were moving that I originally thought weren''t part of the mechanism at all. Parts of the magic material of the button were moving, that at first seemed to be stuck in place, like the rest of the material. I also noticed that how far the aura came into the system depended on how much of the material was moving.


    I put my flat hand on the button and breathed out. Instead of using aura, I tried imagining the magic material parts to move directly. I sensed the material, which excluding the mechanism seemed solid and unmoving, and tried moving it. Not with force, but by imagining it as a sea, where waves would come and go. A single wave came. As tiny as if someone blew ripples in the ocean. It moved a bit and then died down, without another taking its place. Of course this wave was way too small to trigger the mechanism.


    Next time I managed to create a wave I tried holding it in place. Obviously it didn''t trigger anything, but it did allow for me to create another wave at the same time. Then another one. After some time and effort I had created quite a lot of waves. It also became easier every time. The waves I made later were noticably bigger than my first waves. Then I let them all go at the same time. It was enough for the mechanism to trigger, send the signal all the way through the tubes and turn off the light.


    When I was grinning and being proud of myself, Carch came home. Right. We had to go do that register thing. Carch tried to calm me by saying it wasn''t that big of a deal and would be finished quickly, but that kind of made me freak out a bit. I had already assumed it wasn''t a big deal, but now Carch was saying it like this, maybe it was.


    My mind began to wander in all the ways this could go bad. Maybe there was some sort of test for something. I thought about how people in fantasy stories sometimes had to fight to measure their level. I knew this world wasn''t that combat oriented, but I also didn''t fully trust it after barely a week of living here. Maybe they had a way to measure mana and mine would be absurdly low and everyone would stare at me and I would be labeled as a freak. But during the walk to get there I actually calmed down a bit. None if these fears had any base and the rythm of my steps had a soothing effect.


    The building was large and imposing. It was a floor taller than your average house, but since the floors themselves had a high ceiling, this building was by far the tallest in the street. The walls were smoothened, unlike most houses whose walls were just plain wood or stone. It was painted light yellow, very close to white, which gave the building a modern look. Windows were decorated with dark green borders that had an artistic pattern painted on them, which you would only notice if you looked close enough. While the windows were not any broader than those on a normal house, they were stretched as tall as the floors themselves, from which I could only assume the light aestetic of the outside would extend to inside.


    The doors were maybe the only part of the building that remained unpainted. Made from warm colored wood, the doors looked sturdy and were a woodworking masterpiece. Wooden planks made a vertical zig zag pattern and were held together by horizontal rails at the top, halfway and bottom. The top rail and outer stiles were thickened and carved with all kinds of humans and animals, from which I could only assume they depicted a story I didn''t know.


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    The inside was nothing less than grand. The limestone floor reflected the sunlight, which made the space look bigger than it already was. The walls were white, but decorated with numeous paintings, both small and larger ones, framed with dark wood that was carved in elaborate shapes. The space that the high ceiling gave was filled by small lights on strings, that at first glance randomly cluttered the large space below the ceiling. I imagined that at night it would look like a starry sky. Large pillars at the edge of the room, built halfway into the walls, would rise up and bend towards the middle of the ceiling, giving it a rounded look even though it technically wasn''t. The ceiling was painted in a dark blue theme with figures doing things that was probably history or mythology from a culture not mine.


    The room was mostly filled with dark wooden tables and chairs, decorated with bright colored cushions and used by people who were eating or drinking something. I assumed this registering place doubled as a restaurant or something. I couldn''t make much sense of it, but the space was well used. However, between them, starting a few meters from the entrance, was a red carpet making a path towards a reception. There were around three people sitting behind wooden desks, that were intergrated with a wooden walls, as beautifully decorated as the rest of the interior. In that wall were windows, not covered with anything, large enough for a small adult to comfortably walk through, if they were they willing to climb on the desks.


    Behind the desk we were headed to was a youngish man. His eyes looked like he could fall asleep at any moment and he wore a light smile. One of which you could have all day without expending much energy. After Carch explained what we were here for he shove forward a round object that was attached to something that vaguely resembled a screen.


    "Please interact with this device."


    I didn''t understand exactly what he meant, but the device was made of the same magic material as the light switch. I could do this. I just needed to do it swiftly, without looking like it took me effort. It felt like a final test right after understanding parts of the material.


    I breathed out. Concentration. I placed my hand on the device. 3 waves. 5 waves. I tried to create them as fast as I could. I could tell it took longer than usual, but no one said anything yet. I should let go before they get too suspicious. The mechanism triggered. I sighed in relief.


    "D- demon!"


    The desk guy fell from his chair. His right arm fully stretched and pointed at me, with a look of fear in his eyes. I looked behind me in a reflex, but there was only Carch, who stood further away from me than I remembered. The background noise around me silenced. This couldn''t be right. I was no demon.


    I looked at the screen. It probably just malfunctioned. It had a picture of me, even though no photo was taken. It had my name correct, Archer. Interestingly enough it displayed my age as 8 days, which was when I woke up in this world. And my race was ''Demon''.


    I looked up. Everyone was staring at me. I looked at Carch. He had taken some steps back, afraid. This wasn''t happening. I was no demon. I didn''t want to be here.


    I felt the piercing stares of all the other guests here. They were all looking at me. Some afraid, some curious, some angry. All this attention made me sick in the stomach. I didn''t want to be here.


    Some of them stood up and walked towards me, stopping at 3 meters distance. Carch had disappeared in the sea of people. I didn''t have any allies here. My eyes started to tear as emotions took over. My life, that I had barely started to build up, was falling apart.


    They started whispering to each other.


    "A demon?"


    "Should have known when the monsters are acting weird."


    "I heard it eats childen in their sleep."


    "Scary to think such vile creatures can take human shape."


    They were intentionally talking loud enough for me to hear, but my heart was beating so loud it blocked out parts of it. I didn''t want to be here.


    I didn''t have anywhere to go. The crowd was slowly drawing closer, angry ones in the front. I could barely see anymore. My eyes were wide open, but my brain blocked out my vision. Hearing was as sharp as ever. I could hear some of them unsheath their swords. They pushed away other members of the crowd and drew closer with heavy, but regular footsteps.


    They will kill me.


    I didnt know the punishment for being a demon. Half of me expected it to just be over after the public shaming. The other half was thinking about prison. But these people had bloodlust. I clearly wasn''t going anywhere, all they had to do was grab me and drag me to their nearest prison. But death? I hadn''t even done anything wrong. It was just some letters on a screen, it could have malfunctioned.


    It didn''t feel like a malfunction. Between the whispers and the weapons, I now fully believed I was a demon. I felt the swordsmen getting close. One of them let out a grunt as he lifted his sword high. I am going to die. Was he going for my neck? I tucked it in a little. I knew it didn''t matter. At most it would make it harder to get a clean slice through. Prolong my suffering. There was no way I could stand up to this swordsman, even without the crowd or my panicked mindset. He was strong, tall, trained, and had a weapon. I had none of those things. He will kill me. I will die. I didn''t want to be here.


    I didn''t want to be here.


    I would rather be anywhere else than here.


    The air I breathed in was warm. The pressure from the many gazes that wanted to see me dead made way for a calming, even pressure that helped me control my breathing. It was a familiar sensation. I tried to look around me. Even though I had my eyes open all this time, I only just now saw I was in the forest. Specifically, the place where I first got to this world. I lied down on my back on a nearby boulder and started crying. It started out as just letting the tears flow that had already been building up, but eventually I closed my eyes and started sobbing.


    I felt something lick my face. Barely managing to see through my tears I saw a deerhound monster. I embraced the monster and hugged it tightly. It lied down on my chest, helping me to control my breathing. Would it rip out my throat once I let down my guard? I didn''t care. All dogs are good boys. Right now I just needed to hold something.

 Chapter 8

    I didn''t notice when I fell asleep, but I sure noticed when I woke up. With a painful back from sleeping on a rock and a splitting headache from crying too much, it was as uncomfortable as it could have been. The dog was still there, lying next to me. There was no way my sleeping self would have enough strength to force such a large dog in place, so it was there because it wanted to be. I petted the dog. It had come to me in a situation of distress and asked no questions as it had comforted me. Felt a lot better than what humans had done.


    Thinking about it, it was humans that painted these animals in such an evil, murderous light. Just like they did to me. They just assumed I was evil and tried to kill me without me doing anything. I shivered. I didn''t want to think about people right now. Just this dog. This dog was like me. It was a good boy.


    I got up and left the rock. I needed water. Normally I would have water available at just a few steps distance, but normally I didn''t wake up in the woods. Just happened twice now, so maybe it was becoming normal. I remembered there should be a stream somewhere nearby. It took a while to get there the first time, but if I walked in a slightly different direction I should be able to get there pretty quickly this time. The problem was that I didn''t know what direction I went when I first got here. Back then it was an unfamiliar forest and I just wanted to leave it behind and walked in a random direction. Even now I didn''t recognise much of my surroundings, only the comfortable feeling of the forest air. That feeling was way stronger than anything I felt when I was with the herbalists, so I was probably way deeper into the forest. Good. I didn''t want to be close to those people anyways. I decided to just pick a random direction again. If I saw the stream I would know not to follow it.


    When I went on my way the dog followed me. I liked it. Made me feel a little less lonely. And a dog wouldn''t understand anything about me being a demon, so it was safe.


    I didn''t see the stream. I must have been walking in sort of the right direction but completely missed it, because I heard talking and footsteps before I ever heard water. I hid myself behind a nearby bush. If these were the same as Terron, they wouldn''t find me and just walk past. Terron wasn''t that great at spotting things. Or maybe he was, but just pretended not to see anything that didn''t attack him.


    The dog was next to me. Crouched and tense, as if ready to attack. I remembered what happened to the first dog I saw and couldn''t let that happen to this one. Aside from that seeing an animal die shocked me, this dog followed me around. It was mine as far as I was concerned and I would not be seeing any of my pets die, even if I didn''t have a leash to hold him back. I put my hand on its back and some of the muscles that were so tense started to relax a little bit. Not enough to sit or lay down, but I wouldn''t either in this situation. They got so close I could hear what they were talking about.


    "... demon."


    "Crazy to think that it happened right here!"


    "Yeah, scary that its so close. I heard it outmatched a room full of armed men!"


    I felt sick. Rumors were already spreading, all wrong of course. I just didn''t want to think about it anymore. I blocked out the sounds and as soon as it was safe I ran in the opposite direction, away from the city and its people. Dog ran with me, excited, like nothing was wrong. Like we didn''t just almost die. But it was probably used to people trying to kill it on sight. The dog needed a name. Though I had no way to keep it with me, the dog seemed to follow me around. I couldn''t just call it Dog all the time.


    "... Rex."


    The dogs ears perked up. I guess he liked it.


    I ran until I was out of breath and kneeled on the forest floor. Well, that failed. Instead of getting water I was only getting thirstier. I didn''t catch my breath as quickly as usual and black spots danced through my vision, which slightly worried me. Just rest a bit. If I took it slow, I''d be alright. For a while at least.


    "Dont you know where to find water?"


    I couldn''t expect that much from a dog, but I was happy to have someone to complain to. Felt less lonely. But to my surprise Rex actually took the lead. At first a few steps ahead, waiting for me to follow, later he would disappear into the bushes only to return a few seconds later when I wasn''t as fast. I just followed him.


    It felt strange, like he could actually understand, which didn''t make sense. I knew dogs. They were intelligent and could pick up on a lot of things, but they couldn''t understand speech without being taught. But I also didn''t have any better ideas. I just had to keep walking, keep going somewhere if I didn''t want to give up, and Rex''s direction was as good as any.


    I couldn''t keep up the pace as much as normal and required a lot of rest. But no matter how much I rested, the exhaustion never seemed to go away. After about two hours we reached a lake. I felt like just walking in there and dropping down, letting myself be cooled by the water, but the small amount of common sense I had left said this was a quick way to drown. Exhaustion and water is a dangerous combination. That didn''t stop me from drinking. A lot. Making a cup with my hands as I brought water to my mouth as fast as I could, until I accidentally breathed some in.


    "Thank you, Rex." I managed to say as soon as I stopped coughing.


    The lake was clear and shallow, at least for how far I could see. It wasn''t that big; I could easily swim across in just a few minutes, if I were in better shape. The lack of trees allowed free space for the wind, which created small waves that shimmered in the sunlight. The beach was mostly sandy, but with quite a few pebbles of various sizes and even some larger rocks.


    Closer to the lake the trees grew sparser than in the rest of the forest, so it made for a light, open space. A few trees were growing partly with their roots in the water. They were big and old and because the lakes water was constantly taking their soil away, they were slightly leaning into the lake. They wouldn''t fall for a long time though. Big trees like that had big roots that went deep, keeping them stabilized.


    I rested by the lake for a few hours. It was a nice spot on a nice day and the exhaustion had sunk deep into my bones. I wasn''t ready to move yet. Rex took it upon himself to play, though he stayed close to check in on me from time to time. It was fun to see him run around, disappearing behind trees and reaching top speed for short whiles. Nothing can compare to a running sighthound.


    As I was sitting there, catching the few rays of sunlight that made it past the canopy, it started to dawn on me that I hadn''t eaten since yesterday. Its not that I wasn''t hungry, but there had always been some discomfort that dwarfed the hunger in comparison, so I just didn''t notice. But as the ache in my legs slowly subsided, the hunger came in with full force.


    Yep, I would die here. My legs felt like spaghetti, my willpower approached zero and I didn''t even know if I would walk in the direction of a city. Even if I did, I didn''t have money. Maybe I could eat, like, treebark or something? I had no idea what was edible around here. Even if I remembered some plants of my week long apprenticeship, they didn''t exactly teach me what was edible. And I didn''t want to look back at that time anyway. Forget it and move past it. I just felt confused the more I thought about it. Would the ever smiling Sallo really point a weapon at me? Though I found it hard to imagine him standing up for me, to imagine anyone standing up for me. Even Carch didn''t.


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    Wait a second, I was near a lake. If I was lucky, there would be fish here. Grudgingly I got up. My legs felt like they could give out at any moment, but I knew that if I wanted to fix that, I needed food. After a few minutes of searching I found a nice stick: long, not too heavy, and with several side branches. I knew fish wouldn''t get caught by a normal spear, you needed a harpoon for that, but I didn''t have a harpoon, so this spear would have to do. I broke the branch near its end to make it sharper. Then I removed the side branches so the slippery fish would hopefully get caught behind whatever was left of them.


    It was a plan and I had good hope, but no success. The lake was cold, shallow and I barely saw any fish. The ones I saw where too small to be speared. I tried, but the fish were too fast and I wasn''t skilled enough. One time I even saw a bigger fish, but it swam away before I even got close. Guess thats the disadvantage of not having a boat.


    After a while Rex joined me in the lake. The water splashed everywhere and significantly slowed down his speed. Would have been fun if it didn:t chase away all the fish. Still, nothing Rex could do about it. It was all me being stupid and not bringing food with me everywhere I went in case I randomly teleported in a life or death situation.


    "I don''t suppose you can catch me any fish?"


    Rex looked my way. I didn''t even say it that loud, surprised he could even hear it over the sound of his own splashing. I got out of the lake, back to my sunny rock. No need to give myself hypothermia if I wasn''t even going to catch anything.


    I went over my memories. Maybe there was something useful in there about surviving in a forest? I knew several ways to build a fire, but as far as I remembered have never actually managed to start one. I knew you could lay traps to catch wildlife, but aside from some cartoonish ones, I didn''t know any. I could make a bow, but that required rope, which I didn''t have. And I''d have to have a good aim, which I very much doubted.


    I''ll sit here for just a few more minutes. I knew I''d have to move eventually, but my spaghetti legs still hurt. If this location didn''t give me food, maybe the next one? It felt hopeless. I couldn''t even imagine what kind of location I''d need.


    Even if I saw a city, I''d need to beg or steal to get food. And I didn''t know if they had a concept of a prison, but I very much didnt like the alternative. Maybe I''d stumble upon a half eaten carcass. Chase away the wolves, weak as I was. One could always dream. I closed my eyes and let myself disconnect from the here and now of reality. Only the warmth of the sun on my face.


    I opened my eyes to Rex putting something wet on my belly. It was a fish. He sat there, looking really proud of himself. I couldn''t believe it.


    "You actually got one?"


    I stared at the fish in disbelief. It was a decent size too, would make for a good meal. He looked very proud of himself.


    "Good boy Rex, good boy!"


    I didn''t fully grasp the situation. Did Rex understand my words? Did he sense I was hungry? But whatever happened, he was worthy of the highest of praise and I made sure he got it.


    Then it was up to me to make fire. I knew it was a bad idea to eat meat raw. For some reason fish seemed more complicated, but better not risk it. I gathered some tiny branches, larger branches and leaf litter. For now I''d just need the leaf litter. I also placed some rocks in a circle. Fire safety is important, eapecially when alone in the forest.


    There were a few methods of making fire that I knew, but only one of them didn''t require materials that were unavailable. Unfortunately that also seemed to be the hardest and most unreliable method. But it''d have to do. Rex already worked so hard to catch a fish, I could make fire.


    I needed a flat wooden surface and a pointy stick. Sticks were littered all around, but it would have been easier to make them pointy if I had a knife. Unfortunately I didn''t, so I went around breaking sticks like I did with the spear, until one came out with a somewhat decent shape. The wooden surface was the hardest part. There weren''t any planks in the forest and I had no idea how flat it had to be. I walked around for a bit, hoping to get lucky, but eventually came back with a part of a rotting tree I kicked off.


    It didn''t work. I knew this method was the hardest of the ones I knew, but in the end everything depended on perseverance. I had rotated the pointy stick between my hands for a while now and nothing happened. I didn''t know exactly what it would look like, but it should be able to generate enough heat for the leaf litter to catch fire.


    But reality was way more messy than that. More than once the stick slipped and I could start all over again. My hands were painful from moving the stick, but there was no visible progress. Even when I felt the wooden platform with my fingers it didn''t feel hot at all. If only I had rope... No, that probably wouldn''t have worked either, since I simply suck at making fire, have zero experience and no natural talent.


    I let myself fall backwards to be caught by the mossy forest floor. Was eating fish raw really that bad? My memories said it could be done, but I felt like there were certain prerequisites that I probably didn''t have. But even then, my hunger had only become bigger and my efforts to make fire amounted to nothing.


    While I was contemplating on wether or not to eat the fish raw, I heard footsteps. They were soft enough that I only heard them when they were already close. I immediately sat up straight. Looking me in the eye was a giant moose. Well, probably a normal moose, but since moose were already big and I was sitting, it looked huge. I knew moose were bad news.


    They were stong enough to easily kill a person and since they were herbivores they didn''t kill for food, but because they feel threatened. Or just because they could. I didn''t know the proper way to deal with a moose if it was already this close, but I knew my life was entirely at the mooses mercy. It just kept staring at me, while I remained unmoving.


    I could see some differences with the moose I remembered. This one had red eyes and the tips of its antlers were slightly charred. I guess this is a monster as well. At this point I didn''t even wonder why a monster didn''t attack me anymore. It was a lie told by humans who attacked monsters on sight: of course they would fight back, or even attack preemptively if humans are that much of a danger. And really- if you name something a monster, you will only make negative assumptions about them. At that moment I vowed to not call them monsters anymore, but animals. That was the least I could do to my fellow outcasts.


    It was Rex who ended our staredown. He was all energetic barking and making playbows around my would be campfire. At first I was scared it would trigger the moose to attack either me or Rex, but it turned its head towards the small pile of branches and leaves, as if assessing the arrangement. Then it turned the rest of its body and gave a massive swing with its head. I was so glad not to be the target, but even being this close scared the shit out of me. This was a creature to be respected. But at the highest point of its head swing small flames appeared in its antlers. Those flames became bigger the faster its head moved, and when at its lowest, like a duelling position, the flames left the antlers to fly about a meter to the front, igniting the leaf litter and smaller branches in its path.


    It took me a while to process it. Magic! Real magic, not the press a button one, but making things appear from thin air magic. I looked in awe at the moose, whose flames had entirely disappeared now. It struck a pose as if it was proud of what it did. If I wasn''t so terrified, it would be cute.


    "Thank you." I managed to whisper. The moose waved its ears and folded its long legs underneath itself to lie down.


    That gave me the courage to slowly move towards the fire. The moose didn''t react. The fire was burning well, but with that amount of wood it would soon stop. I put some of the larger branches I found on it. It didn''t burn immediately and was sticking out on all sides, but it would have to do. Next the fish. I would have loved to have a metal raster on which I could put the fish, but I didn''t, so I roasted it marshmellow style.


    After I shared the fish with Rex I lied down to sleep. Just right there, without bed or roof. Every day I slept outside like this was a gamble if I''d wake up safely. The moose could trample me, though it felt as if it wouldn''t hurt me, at least on purpose. But other wild animals could come too.


    Or humans. I always thought I was a part of humans, but they are really vicious towards anything thats not them, and I guess it was just that easy to become ''not them''. If any would find me while I was asleep I would be done for. Unlike yesterday I kind of wanted to wake up. I cared about my life again, even though I couldn''t see any future for it.

 Chapter 9

    I woke up early because it was cold. The ground was damp and by the time I was awake the cold had already seeped into my bones. Not sure if it was just the weather or the seasons changing, but I guessed I''d get problems pretty quickly if I didn''t find proper shelter.


    Rex was sleeping next to me and even the moose was grazing nearby. The sun wasn''t fully up yet, but I had to get moving if I wanted to warm up. Not in the lake, though. Getting wet would be a disaster right now. Also, I think we can establish that I can''t fish. Maybe I could climb a tree, try to see whats around us.


    Not all trees were climbable and from those who were I judged the very top to be unsafe, so I couldn''t actually see very far. I did see the mountains. Tall and imposing, they didn''t seem to be that much closer compared to when I was in the city. I couldn''t see much else. I could guess which way the city was, but treetops blocked the view. Which way to go today? I didn''t feel much for going towards the mountain, and I certainly didn''t want to get closer to the city than I already was.


    By the time I got down, the sun was mostly up. Rex had noticed my absence and was frantacly sniffing around, until I touched the ground again and recieved his greeting. I petted him. How could others see a good boy like this as a monster? There was no breakfast, so after I drank as much as I could from the lake I left immediately. Rex followed, but the moose chose to stay behind. He was busy eating his own breakfast, but since I couldn''t communicate I couldn''t wait until he was done. For all I knew moose ate the whole day, and I had to move.


    I wasn''t sure what I was searching for, but I needed something different. Something that gave me hope for the future. Where I could stay and be warm and fed and comfortable. While I preferred the forest a thousand times over returning to the city, it had its own problems, like not knowing when you would get your next meal, and waking up frozen. While my body had mostly warmed up by now, the memory of the cold was still fresh in my mind.


    The next few days I just kept walking. The moose, who I named Monto, kept us company, but at a different pace. He would just show up every now and then, and then stay behind to graze a bit. He was very helpful in starting fires. Rex managed to hunt small animals at times. Sometimes it was enough to share between us, sometimes we''d both sleep hungry. I felt sorry towards Rex. If he didn''t have to share with me, he could eat a lot more. But if I didn''t take Rex''s prey, I''d have nothing to eat at all.


    The biggest issue was keeping warm. Though walking warmed me up quite a bit and the fire kept burning through most of the night, the mornings kept getting colder. Or maybe it was just my imagination and they just felt colder because I had been outside for so long. One day it even rained. Of course it killed the fire, and the trees didn''t provide much cover. I decided to just keep walking, due to lack of shelter, and I survived, but I don''t know how many more rainy days I could survive. Getting wet meant getting cold and it never really got warm again.


    Where the forest used to be beautiful, with golden light shining through the treetops, it now became dark and dreary. The forest blocked most of the light from reaching the bottom in the first place, but now there wasn''t much light to begin with. The sky was cloudy, which meant that visibility was severly limited. Mud and puddles were everywhere, so I had to pay a lot of attention not to get my feet wetter than they already were.


    It sucked, being wet and cold. Even on the nice days I didnt fully recharge. My will to move towards a goal grew thinner every day. I was just running. Running from a place people wanted to kill me. Running from a memory that I didn''t belong. Running from a reality I didn''t want to face.


    On an actually pretty nice day I found it. If I didn''t know what I was looking for, this was it: an abandoned, broken down carriage. It was a fancy one, with walls and a roof and windows. Some of the planks were broken, mostly those of the walls near the floor. The back axle was split in two and the right front wheel had a pizza slice taken out. I''d have a lot to repair, but just having this, it felt like a destination. Here I could stay and be protected from the wind. Warm up a bit. It felt like I stumbled upon a treasure and I was going to make sure it would shine bright.


    First thing I did was get rid of the remaining wheel. I couldn''t live in it if it was tilted, and it was not like I was going anywhere with it. It didn''t budge when I kicked it a few times, but after careful observation I loosened some pin that held the wheel in place, allowing me to remove the wheel. It ended up below the carriage, but its not like this thing was ever going to be completely levelled.


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    I then looked at the loot. Surely this carriage was abandoned in a hurry, so they might have left useful items behind. I found the benches also functioned as chests and underneath them I found enough dry meat and cookies to last for a few days. I also found an abundance of clothes.


    There were many shirts, pants and even dresses. They didn''t look much warmer than my own clothes, but with these new ones I could layer up, repair holes, and even use some as a bed. I have been missing a bed badly. At first its not that big of a deal to sleep on the floor, but after a few days you discover you don''t completely recover from sleeping on a hard, cold surface.


    The food was very welcome too. I would have to be careful and ration it properly instead of just filling myself up for a few days. Keep it as emergency for if Rex shows up with a rat instead of a rabbit.


    I was happy to have a wooden floor between me and the ground at night. The space between my body and the ground made for a little bit of isolation. I didn''t have the cold from the ground creeping up on me, but there was a little bit of wind coming through the floorboards. Still, an improvement. I had been sleeping in the dirt for a while now, so I was grateful to get a little bit of extra comfort.


    The benches were too thin to sleep on. Clearly the designer had worried more to fit people in as small of a space as possible than to make a comfortable place to sleep. To separate myself from the cold a bit more I gathered brances and covered those with leaves, moss and some of the clothes I found, to create some sort of bed and hopefully sleep better at night.


    So the next day I hunted with Rex. He was actually the one doing most of the work, but I tried to observe and see how he was doing. Maybe I could help him somewhere. In any case, it didn''t hurt to get more knowledge of the forest surrounding me if I wanted to live in it.


    It turned out Rex wasn''t that good at sniffing prey out. He mostly just chased things he saw move, though they were often too agile for him to get close, so I tried looking at tracks, while Rex chased the critters I startled with my loud, stomping feet.


    What also kept me from sleeping well was the wind. The carriage had quite a few broken planks, and even where it wasn''t broken, this thing was never meant to be lived in. I had not yet figured out a fix for this. I tried patching the holes with branches I found laying around, but wasn''t sure how much it would help.


    The only downside of this location was that water was quite far away. It was walking distance, but to cover that distance twice per day meant a huge chunk of the day got taken out just to drink. Meaning it was really nice to have containers. Unfortunately, the only containers I had where the boxes that held the meat and cookies from the carriage. Not exactly waterproof, but I did my best to hold them steady, so I didn''t go thirsty too often.


    I also knew that animal bladders could be used to hold water, so I tried it with the bladders of some of the larger animals we hunted, like rabbits, but I didn''t quite trust it enough to actually drink out of it. Even after washing it so the color of the water that came out was the same as the water that came in, there was a psycological barrier preventing me from drinking from animal organs. It just seemed gross.


    In the later hours when it was too dark to be doing things outside, but too early to sleep, my mind wandered to the future. Not the near future, but a distant one. Would I grow old here? Would I be able to survive until then? And if I was too old to move around, would I starve a slow death? I didn''t have anywhere I could go. No friends or family I could turn to if I needed to.


    Even in this imaginary situation where I already survived for a long time, it was scary. Was this what I wanted with my life, just surviving? Maybe I could pick up a hobby. Not gaming though. I missed gaming so much, even if I didn''t remember what games I used to play.


    But maybe woodworking? I would probably like making art and I had plenty of time to figure it out on my own, without anyone teaching me. But I would have to get a metal knife. The sharp rock I had been using until now probably couldn''t make such delicate cuts in wood. But where would I even be able to get a metal knife? So not woodworking. Maybe something different?


    The boredom elevated the feelings of homesickness. Those feelings had been repressed for a while when I was fighting for my life, but now I had time to think they came back with full force. I didn''t want to be here. I wanted to come home and be greeted by my family. I wanted to cook a decent meal and have everyone compliment me on how tasty it was.


    Would they miss me? I barely had any memories, but it felt like I was loved. Did I die in that other world? The thought of my own funeral saddened me so much I had to stop thinking about it. I didn''t remember dying, but I wasn''t there anymore. I was here. Somehow I had moved worlds. I didn''t want to be here.


    Rex shoved his nose under my arm. I held him tight. He always knew the best thing to do when I was feeling sad. I didn''t know what I would do without him.

 Chapter 10

    The low sun cast her blood red light in between elongated shadows. Shadows kept creeping closer. I knew those shadows were danger. Death. I ran. I ran as fast as I could, though it seemed like I barely moved forward. My body was already tired, but with my attempts to take in more oxigen, my lungs didn''t cooperate. I ran until I thought the shadows were far away enough. I probably didn''t lose them, but I could rest for a while. Breathing became a bit easier.


    Then I saw the shadows again. I could see them more clearly now, though they remained undetailed. More an outline than an object. Humans. Though it was difficult to determine the shapes, I knew instinctively. With swirly red eyes and an endless void inside them, they came closer at the same pace that I was previously running, like hunting a dog. I looked at myself. A dog.


    My heart started beating faster. I had to go. Again, I couldn''t run fast. Like I was running through water. After what seemed like forever my path was blocked by a house. I couldn''t go around it. The right side was a dead end and the left side stretched on forever. I decided to go over it. I could jump as well as I could run, lousy. I tried to get grip on the wall, but it was slippery, like made of glue and slowly pushed me down even if I tried to stay in place.


    After trying a while, the shadows came closer. They almost caught me. I didn''t want to be caught. Fear crept over me, motivating my actions. I pushed my front end over the house while keeping my back legs on the ground. My body stretched all the way over the house. I could feel the texture of the glue on my belly. When my front paws touched the ground, my back end followed until I had a normal shape again. I could run faster on this side of the house. No more running in water. I ran and ran until I found a river and walked over it.


    There I stood, watching the shadows get closer. The shadows had no difficulty getting over the house the same way I did, and lost a lot less time that way. When they were at the river they hesitated. I knew. I knew the shadows couldn''t cross the river. Thats why I felt safe. But the shadows didn''t feel like they had lost. It felt as if they were laughing. Laughing and pointing at me. I looked at myself. And my shadow. Attached to my paws was a black substance that stretched all the way to the other side of the river and joined the humans. I was one of them.


    I woke up sweating and out of breath, as if still being chased. A dream. It was only a dream. I was safe here, they couldn''t find me. I walked so far and never saw a person. They won''t come here. I tried to convince myself that things were fine, but it all felt so real. Being chased. The feeling of fear. As if they could jump right out of the walls with their sharpened swords. They couldn''t. I was here and they were not. No one was chasing me, they probably gave up after seeing me disappear. No one was chasing me. No one would come.


    I was awake now, and there was no way I could go back to sleep, so I went to sit outside. It was pitch black and even the campfire had died out, but it felt better than staying within walls. The stars were not visible through the dense branches, but it felt soothing to see them sway back and forth in the wind.


    There were also different animals awake. If you listened well, you could hear their calls every now and then. A clicking sound, that seemed to come either from really far away, or right next to me. Even once something that just sounded like a scream, that was quickly joined by more voices. But mostly it was just quiet.


    Eventually the sun rose and gave all surfaces a golden glow. I was happy to get up and move around, because even though I had been awake for half the night, it was cold and it was hard to stay warm just sitting there. Maybe it would have been warmer inside the carriage. I looked back at the gaping black entrance, unable to see its interior. Yeah, no. I wasn''t going in there. Instead I just walked back and forth a bit. The ground was damp with puddles. Meant the animals were going to be a bit more scattered instead of flocking near the river, but tracks would be more visible.


    This was one of those days I would love to stay home, warm myself by the fire and drink some hot chocolate. But I didn''t have enough food, or a stable enough way to get it, to make sure I had dinner next week. I shouldn''t burn through my cookies too quickly, they could prove useful when hunting doesn''t go well. So I resolved myself to try my best. Maybe if I hunted more than needed I could actually increase my supplies.


    But first I went to the river. Though the aninals might drink from the scattered puddles, I didn''t care much for muddy water and had to walk all the way to the river every day. Of course Rex joined me. Monto was elsewhere, minding his own business.


    Rex and I managed to hunt two rats before I decided to go back. Today I wanted to see if I could skin an animal. I could really use some pelts if it became colder. Skinning was surprisingly easy. I made some mistakes that caused some holes in the skin, but it was my first try, so that was acceptable. I remembered something about hanging the skins to dry in the smoke, but Monto wasn''t back yet, so I just gathered the wood for a fire and waited until Monto returned.


    Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    That night I had the nightmare again. The same, but also slightly different. This time the shadows talked. Demon. Evil. They also managed to touch me before I got over the house. Their hands on my back made me shiver in fear and disgust. I woke up the same: out of breath, heart beating fast and unable to fall back asleep. I felt a strong desire to run. Where to? I don''t know. Away from here. Back home.


    I cried a bit. I couldn''t even remember that other world well, but this one had been so hostile to me that anything else should be better. I didn''t deserve this. I deserved to feel safe. I didn''t know if it was possible to travel back, but at this place and time it felt so far away. Logically thinking I should try to make this place my home. Try to build a life here. I was certainly trying to stay alive, but was this place what I would call home for a long time? It didn''t have insulation, barely sheltered from the wind and was dark and small. I couldn''t even make a fire in here out of fear of burning it all down. But it was all I had.


    I went outside and picked up a bit of charcoal from yesterdays fire. Maybe I could draw with it and it would calm my mind. I decided to draw the inside of the carriage. It was dark and the small space made me feel caged a bit, but I didn''t like the wind and maybe I needed to feel caged a little.


    At first I drew simple stickmen. Some arms, legs and a circle for a head proved that I could draw fine with charcoal on wood, even though it was a bit rough. I experimented a bit with holding the charcoal at an angle to draw shadows and clouds. Eventually I drew a simple house: a square with a triangle on top. One window, one door and a tree right next to it. Drawing calmed me down enough that I managed to fall into a dreamless sleep until morning.


    When the morning light came in I discovered the rat skins had failed. They were dry and brittle and nothing like the fur I had imagined. This put me in a bad mood. Skins were a limited resource and since we could only hunt small animals, I could only get small skins. Which meant I had to have a lot of them if I wanted to make myself a nice coat before winter. And now they become useless out of nowhere? I thought I was doing pretty well surviving, but looking back at all my setbacks it was mostly helping animals and luck that got me this far.


    Fortunately the hunt with Rex got us big bounty: some large-ish bird animal I had never seen before. It had black feathers like a raven, but with its thick, long legs it stood slightly taller than my waist. It had no talons to match its imressive legs. Instead its feet looked like a cross between human and bird feet, with thick and blunt toes. It had larger feathers around the neck which made it look fancy. Its beak was as large as its head, thick and as blunt as I had ever seen any beak. All in all a strange bird.


    I spent a lot of time plucking the bird. Feathers had lots of uses and didn''t require preraration like skin, so they would always be usable no matter how unskilled I was. Maybe I should make a pillow. It would just be a small inscrease in comfort, but I was looking forward to it. Maybe it would become livable here after all.


    I gave the head, guts and a quarter of the meat to Rex, while I ate half myself. The other quarter I hang a bit above the fire, right in the smoke. If my memories served me well, this was a way to preserve meat for a longer time. I also tried to use the skin, even though this one didn''t have fur since I took the feathers. Even though it wouldn''t make for a good coat, maybe I could make it into a bag or something. I had just been using clothes until now, but they were bound to rip sooner or later.


    In hopes of getting a better result than the rat skin, I rubbed fat on it. I didn''t have a specific thought process on this, other than that I remembered tanning was pretty complicated with a lot of steps, so maybe adding more steps would yield better results eventually.


    That activity took the rest of the day. I was kind of planning to work on improving the shelter, but that would have to wait until tomorrow. I wasn''t upset about it though. It was hard to be in a bad mood with a full belly.


    I found that drawing helped ease the nightmares. I would get the same nightmare, with slight variations, and wake up in a panic. Drawing helped me calm down and go back to sleep. I would draw whatever was on my mind. I drew Rex, and Monto, and the faces of the family I knew I had somewhere, even if they were blank. I would draw forests and seas and huge flocks of birds. Soon the inside of the carriage was littered with charcoal drawings.


    I also worked on the carriage in the evening hours, though you couldn''t really call it a carriage anymore. With its defects and intentionally broken wheels, it would never ride again. I remembered how some animals live underground and how it offers insulation, so I shoveled up dirt to make a giant heap over the carriage. I wasn''t quite there yet, because the sand was loose and kept falling down, but after adding some sticks and rocks I had most of the sides covered.


    If I took a step back and really looked at it, I would have seen this shoddy place that was a temporary shelter at best. But with all the effort I put in, it felt like home. I needed a home. I really needed this all to be true and to stay. Though it felt like a long time since I came into this world, it hadn''t even been a month yet. At first I thought I found my home with Carch, that filthy traitor, and I could gradually build up my own life there. Now I was barely surviving, but still alive. Every desicion was for here and now and everything felt a lot more in the moment. But I needed to rest. I needed to breathe out and have all of this still be here tomorrow. Wake up and not have my life collapse around me. For once.


    The hides also succeeded, sort of. At first the bird hide was stiff, though not as brittle as the rat hides earlier. Over the days it became a bit more flexible, so now I was thinking of actually using it for something. I also made new hides: another rat and a rabbit. They had very different results. The rabbit fur was very soft, but lost a lot of flexibility. The rat fur was straight up unusable. I accidentally left little bits of meat on there and it began to rot and stink horribly. Rex really wanted to have it, so I had to bury it to prevent him from chewing on rotten meat.

 Chapter 11

    So the days passed by. I began to adapt. By warming up the rabbit fur I could sleep in a warm bed and I didn''t get nightmares as frequently anymore.


    One day, when I was returning from a hunt with Rex, he seemed on guard. Not too much, but he just seemed a little bit uneasy, which was weird because normally he was excited and loud and would run back and forth because I was too slow to chase his doggy behind. Now he stayed perfectly at my side, keeping his head low.


    Then I heard it too. Footsteps. Voices. There were people there, and not just two or three: there were around ten of them. I became sick in my stomach. Memories flashed in my head. Memories of steel. I opened my eyes as wide as I could to avoid dealing with what happened in my head. The sound came from the direction of my makeshift house. I had to move. I had to grab everything I could and run.


    But it was too late. These people -they looked like soldiers- were all over my stuff. Some were looking at the ashes of my campfire, some were talking to each other, passing glances. Some were going in and out of the carriage. Their shiny armour reflected the sunlight. I hid in some bush nearby. I couldn''t be seen. As much as I hated them touching my stuff, I couldn''t be seen.


    After a while of them talking, looking at my things and smiling, one of them, who looked like the leader, yelled something. I couldn''t hear what he yelled. I should have been close enough, but the words just didn''t register. Then two subordinates came forward and made fire, like Monto, out of thin air. They moved a bit and threw the flames inside my house.


    I couldn''t do anything. They were many and I was just one. Just me. I watched as the flames engulfed the structure that I only just started calling home. It burned everything: the walls that kept me safe from the wind. The cookies that I left untouched for harder times. The pelts that I tried so hard to perfect. The doodles of the many sleepless nights. Tears left my eyes and slowly made their way over my face, but I couldn''t afford to make a sound. These people were vicious, like the rest. They wouldn''t hesitate.


    The soldiers left soon after, but I stayed hidden. Afraid they would return and notice me. Frozen by disbelief. All that I built up, gone. The food supplies that I only just managed to increase. The clothes that I handled so carefully in anticipation of winter. The drawings that told my story. All that I thought I had was taken from me, again. And again I was left with only myself.


    Only when the sandy hill fell down on the fire I ran towards it. I tried to dig, to see if there was still something I could save, but the fire was not yet out and the sand was hot. Only after a few hours I managed to unearth whatever was left of my home, but it was only ashes.


    This was it. I was done. The nights were significatly colder than when I came here and even with the carriage it was a roll of the dice if I would have survived. I couldn''t hope to find a second carriage. Not one that wouldn''t be burned down. Unless... Those soldiers needed somewhere to sleep as well. Bet they had actual sleeping bags and way better supplies than me. Maybe I could follow them around for a while and see where they were going.


    I sprung up. I had to hurry. They left a while ago and they probably had a faster pace than me. The one advantage I had over them was that I was alone, if you didn''t count Rex and Monto. Organizing soldiers would probably be a complex operation and setting up camp and feeding them all would take time. And they would probably be easy to follow as they made a lot of noise. I could do this, just had to follow their tracks. Deep footprints left in the sand by people not concerned with hiding themselves. Easy. I had practiced on rabbits, I got this. Until sundown at least.


    When the sun got too low to properly follow tracks I had just barely managed to catch up. I was about to give up, but heard some noise and when I followed the sounds I found their camp. Turns out the soldiers I saw weren''t the only ones. There were tens of people, all walking around, talking, and laughing around their huge bonfire. They had tents big enough for 3 or 4 people and didn''t seem to lack anything. They all ate their food from metal plates and got their water from large containers and drank it from an iron cup. Large bags were thrown around here and there. Paths were walked out in places with lots of traffic. They didn''t set this camp up today.


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    When seeing them all laughing and being careless I got angry. Why did I have to starve and freeze while they were all comfortable? Why did they burn down the shelter of a person they didn''t even know and then have the gall to celebrate? I couldn''t stand seeing them so happy. A thought formed in my head to burn it all down, like they did to me. I''d have Monto make a campfire and throw a few flaming spears to the tents. Bet that would burn like crazy. If I didn''t get everything at once I could come back. The forest was my terrain.


    But no. No one would be helped by that. After the initial happiness of a successful revenge I would have to watch these people go through the same things I did. As satisfying as it would be, at least a few of them would die. Did they deserve that? Probably, but it wouldn''t sit right with me if I was the one who sent them to their deaths.


    Also, burned down resources are unusable for everyone. If I just take a bit, take what I need, maybe a little more, I might be able to live comfortably leeching off of them. That was the least they could do. They destroyed my life, so now they were responsible for it, wether they knew it or not. I''d rather they didn''t know. As tough as I was talking, these soldiers scared the shit out of me and I knew that if they caught me, I would be the one burning.


    As I was waiting it grew darker. I didn''t set up camp for myself. How could I? Come time for sleep I''d just have to lie down in a random spot and pray I would wake up safely. Instead I observed the soldiers, looking for an opening to run into camp and grab a few things. Looking like a child and being without uniform, I would stick out like a sore thumb, so I would need a window where no one would look my way. Luckily these soldiers weren''t the tidyest ones around. When they were done with stuff, they just let it lie around. Plenty of stuff was just thrown on the ground outside the tents. If I dared to walk in I could easily score myself a few plates.


    They were surprisingly strict with taking guard. Each side of the camp was being watched over by a pair of soldiers. It would be difficult to sneak past them. Not that they were paying much attention. At some point Monto walked up to me and lied down. No one noticed. Like they were waiting to be attacked rather than looking what happened around them.


    Could I just walk in quietly? Adrenaline raced through my body just thinking about it. I hated being surrounded with no way to escape. I wouldn''t be able to outrun the soldiers. I wasn''t the fastest around and they were so many... But I was thirsty. I lost most of my water being careless when hiding. I don''t blame myself, but now I was feeling the concequences. They had water. Closed containers full of it. Cups to drink out of.


    "Monto, if it all goes wrong, can you carry me on your back for a while?"


    It was a large request and a complicated scentence, but these animals surprised me before with their intelligence. I just had to stop denying these were the same animals I knew. Monto let out a calm sigh. Lets use that as confirmation. The moment I was spotted I would drop everything and run to Monto.


    My target was a half filled water container of about 20 centimeters tall. It wasn''t really close to the edge, but I would get in trouble if I took something bigger than I could carry, just because it was close. I waited for a bit more. 1 or 2 hours, it was hard to tell the time while waiting. But I waited until everyone except the guards had settled into a tent for the night and then some more, to be sure they were sleeping.


    Then came the hardest part. Just because the guards weren''t actively looking for me didn''t mean they would see me if I just walked past them. The bushes stopped existing closer to the camp, the one I was hiding in was one of the closest.


    I picked a spot between two guard pairs and started walking in. Crouched, to stay low, and as quiet as possible. If one of them moved their head they would surely notice something was moving. Hell, even if they paid attention to the corner of their eye they could see something suspicious.


    But they didn''t. Almost too easily I got to the container. I grabbed it and walked back, the same way as I did before. Though it was tempting to just run, the biggest mistake I could make now was to make a break for it. I wasn''t clear yet, and they hadn''t seen me. I just needed to move slowly, steadily and have a lot of luck.


    Only when I reached the bush where Monto was waiting I dared to go a bit faster. I breathed out, unaware that I had been holding my breath. When Monto got up and walked with me, farther away from the camp, I dared completely relax. I stood up and started running, a wide smile on my face for the prize I held in my hands. Now I could drink and carry more water, so I wouldn''t easily go thirsty again.