《An Absurdist's Guide to the Undead》


 1 - Crackle

    February 23rd was the date the two of us died. My body had visited a morgue several years prior, but I truly believe that I died for a second time when I felt her go limp in my arms. Grief wasn''t new to me, after all, I''d had years to grieve the loss of my own life, but I couldn''t lose her. Maybe it was selfish, maybe it was bitter, maybe it was desperate, or maybe I just didn''t have the humanity I thought I did anymore, but I''d managed to convinced myself that I could overpower the laws of nature. Just one thing to note: if you''re gonna play god, maybe practice that shit first.


    The thick and humid air of Australia''s Autumn nights were almost suffocating, but the occasional breeze helped. The law usually applies a total fire ban until the rain finally hits in April, but I had different priorities... one priority, really. And I''d spent all day preparing to give her the night she never got, even if I couldn''t convince her to wear a dress for it.


    "My name''s Victoria, and I think Zach''s the most beautiful guy in the whole world, and we should all be his friend," I spoke in a whiny, mocking voice as I puppeted the arms of my silent companion with a grin. "and then you''d be all like, ''And I also think he should be the next prom king, and that we should all vote for him because he''s just so cool!''"


    I dropped her arms and took out a plastic crown from the bag beside me. Carefully, I placed it in her lap, watching patiently as she shakily took hold of it. She inspected the plastic closely, as if it was a rock from another planet, before her eyes strayed back to the many decorations I''d planted around the campsite. Her attention span had been getting shorter lately, it seemed. My eye twitched.


    "And then everyone would be like, ''Oh yeah, he''s so cool! Yes, he should be prom king. Let''s crown him,'' yeah?"


    I guided Victoria''s cold hands to place the crown on my head, bowing to make it easier for her. She merely blinked at me with those dead, white eyes, as usual.


    "Then I''d wave to my adoring fans and I''d thank them for all their love."


    As I continued my overly dramatic theatrics, and tried my hardest to keep my smile natural, I found myself subconsciously searching her eyes. I wasn''t sure what I was looking for, exactly. Just... some sort of sign of her lucidity. At some point, I''d gotten into the habit of monitoring her individual breaths, and found that she was starting to experience long moments of complete lung inactivity at a time. Usually they''d only end when she''d feel her body begin to panic, and she''d force herself to inhale.


    "... and... uh.." It was growing more difficult to keep up my charade. "And then you and I would dance, but you''d complain that the songs were all shitty, and I''d tell you to shut up."


    I took her hands in mine again and helped her stand, cautiously reenacting my scenario with her as if I was scared she''d fall apart; it wouldn''t be the first time. I wrapped one arm around her waist and draped one of hers over my shoulder as we gently swayed. I hated myself for avoiding eye contact, but sometimes it was just too confronting to see her face. The scarring on her mouth, her hollowed cheeks, the dark circles under her eyes, and that damn stare of hers. I''d hoped all of this would get some sort of reaction from her, but it seemed as pointless as all my previous attempts.


    "After the dance, you and I would-"


    The vibration of my phone ringing interrupted me. I''d planned on ignoring it, but the second I checked my screen and saw my dad''s number, I knew I had no choice. With a groan, I carefully let go of Victoria and answered it.


    "Stay here." I told her firmly, before walking back to the truck to talk to my dad. She blinked in response, as always.


    The second I came back to the campsite, I knew she was gone. I knew that I shouldn''t have trusted a girl who can''t even remember her own name to follow simple instructions, but I''d left her alone regardless. I paced around the whole area in panicked search of her, and sighed in relief once I noticed her scruffy, pale-blue hair down by the lake.


    Why''s she carrying branches?


    "Hey. Hey!"


    I huffed, pushing through the prickly shrubbery of the woods to grab one of Victoria''s withered wrists. The shell of the girl I had once loved froze at the touch, somewhat startled for a moment, before she merely tilted her head to meet my gaze. Her milky irises and bleached pupils always made eye contact a challenge. I could never recognise her in them. But I held my glare, ripping the sticks from her hands with more force than necessary.


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    "I told you not to wander off. Who knows what''s out here this late. What were you even doing, anyway, collecting more firewood?"


    She blinked again.


    "That''s no excuse, Tori!"


    I discarded the twigs carelessly behind me and dragged her limp form back through the path I''d hacked in my hurry, grumbling to myself under my breath. Her rough skin felt colder than usual under my touch. Drier. Thinner. For a moment I wondered if her state had progressed, but quickly pushed that thought aside and replaced it with further delusion. She''s fine. She can''t rot anymore, I saved her.


    "I was only gone for a second. How did you reach this far out into the trees so quickly? We both know that you can''t run in this state," I muttered. We trudged through the dead bushes for several quiet moments as I gave Victoria the time to answer. As always, she stayed silent, so I assumed for her.


    "You''re not scared of fire, Tori. You''re the one who used to bully me for being afraid of candles, remember?"


    Victoria didn''t respond, just stared out into the distance. A slight noise of discomfort left her throat as she stumbled over a loose log, but nothing more. For a moment, however, my heart fluttered and I stopped in place. She hadn''t made a noise in several days now, and I couldn''t help but take a moment to inspect her form in search of a sign of life, but it was short-lived as she returned to silence. I bit back a scream of frustration and shook my head, tugging her along with me again.


    The campfire crackled and spat, its bursts of flames illuminating the permanent deadpan on my companion''s face as we sat across from each other. Usually I''d avoid fire at all costs, especially in the dry season, given my nature; the unfathomably high levels of oxygen in my blood cells made me rather flammable, so maybe those instincts telling me to run for my life at the very sight of a flame weren''t for nothing. I had started the fire in hopes of Victoria regaining memories, that was the reason for this whole trip after all. But by the looks of it, her brain had discarded everything of the countless camping trips we''d gone on in the past, too.


    It felt as if the silence only grew more frustrating the longer it stretched, but perhaps it was the lack of silence that was so overstimulating. The blaze sizzling, the crickets chirping, the squeaking of bats overhead. So much noise, but none of it what I wanted to hear. I drowned in that deafening silence while my gaze was glued to Victoria. She had found a new stick to poke at the ground with, and that was keeping her fractured mind somewhat entertained, somehow. I could feel my hands trembling in suppressed anger. After all I''d done, how hard I''d been trying to get her to do anything more than blink, a stick was all it took. A fucking stick.


    The dirt parted in the wake of the twig, forming mindless scribbles in the ground as she drew. It was just a bunch of lines, so why was she concentrating so hard? I briefly considered it being a drawing, but it felt more like a rough attempt at communication. Perhaps there was some method to her madness.


    Drag, drag, tap, tap.


    "What''re you doing?" I cautiously circled the fire to sit beside her, wary of the heat as her spot was much closer to it than mine had been. She narrowed her eyes at the dirt, ignoring me.


    Tap, drag.


    "Tori, I don''t..." I sighed, rubbing my eyes in exhaustion, "I don''t think your scribbles are legible."


    Drag, tap, drag, tap.


    My eye twitched again, my jaw setting. I could only take so much. I was tired, I was frustrated, and worst of all I was hungry. I tried cracking my knuckles to distract myself, nearing my breaking point.


    "Tori-"


    Taptaptaptap-


    "TORI!"


    I snarled and yanked the twig from her grasp, snapping it as I stood to tower over her. My breathing became laboured and I could feel that familiar ache in my gums. Adrenaline pumped through my veins. My vision blurred as the blood vessels in my irises burst. I couldn''t even see the faint expression of fear on her face. But before I could lash out further, the edge of my jacket caught alight from the fire behind me. I yelped and ripped it off, throwing it across the campsite. I scurried back on my hands and knees to hide behind Victoria like a vulnerable puppy, trembling as my fear of the flames was reinforced. Tori glanced over her shoulder to me, her expression having reset again. I sighed and rested my head on her shoulder, slowly letting myself calm down.


    I deserved that. Thank you, universe.


    The unbearable cacophony of crickets filled the air again, now accompanied by the gentle pattering of rain as the clouds rolled in. The sun would rise shortly, soon I''d have to pack up and get Tori back to the truck, but I let myself rest for a moment. I sat with my thoughts and my guilt while she kept her eyes on me.


    "I''m sorry I scared you, Victoria." I murmured weakly.


    Victoria slowly returned her gaze to the dying fire. The feel of her cold skin against my cheek was isolating, nothing short of a painful reminder of what I''d done to her. Everything I''d done to her. I shut my eyes and fought off the threat of tears, and sighed as I felt her hesitantly rest her head back against mine.


    "Sometimes I wonder if you can still feel the pain." My fingers mindlessly toyed with one of the loose bandages on her upper arm. "I wonder what you''d say to me if you could speak."


    "I find myself... clouded by unwanted thoughts. Constantly. These brief flashes in my head of shit I don''t wanna think about. They''d be... like... you screaming in agony and ripping out all your stitches. Or you attacking me like a maniac. Or sometimes just you crying. Maybe I''m creating these scenarios of you losing control of your emotions because I never see you have any."


    Tori shut her eyes and leaned further against me. For a moment I considered if she was actually listening, but the sound of her stomach growling got my hopes up.


    "Yeah, I get it. We''ll eat tomorrow, okay?" I placed a hand over hers ever so gently. "I promise."

 2 - Sting

    "Shit!"


    I hissed and threw my hands over my eyes from the sudden confusing sting that crashed into my skin. It jolted me awake so harshly that I hit the back of my head on the headboard in my attempt to escape it, and was immediately met with a pounding headache. I scrambled under the covers for shade. My face was burning unbearably and I could feel every layer of my skin sizzling. The blistering light was supposed to be blocked out by the purposely thick curtains, but Victoria must''ve gotten curious, as I found her staring out the window blankly when I peaked out of a gap of the blankets.


    "Victoria! Close it!" I growled.


    She snapped her head around to me in a startle, but quickly did as instructed. As darkness once again filled the room, I let out a huff of relief and freed myself from my blanket fortress. I groaned into my hands at the lingering pain and could feel the heat emanating from my burns. I usually wouldn''t be this easily affected by the light, but I had been growing weaker by the day, not able to find much time to replenish myself while also babysitting a walking corpse.


    Victoria stood in place, her brow slightly furrowed. I could never tell what she was thinking, if she even was. To my utter surprise, she cautiously reached out a hand and let her fingertips trace along my burned skin. I bit back my immediate reaction and let her do so despite the sheer pain it caused me. After the initial shock passed, I found her cool skin to be rather soothing. My eyes fluttered shut as I let myself indulge in the moment, it being the first time she''d touched me since the accident. I could almost imagine the girl I used to know cupping my face instead. Almost.


    She pulled her hands away after my skin quickly repaired itself, and she returned to her usual husk-like behaviour. As if it hadn''t even happened, she wandered around my bedroom to explore again. I watched her with an aching heart. It was bittersweet. I''d sometimes get the rare reaction or act from her that would give me hope that she was still there, somewhere under the mountain of brain fog in her head. I''d learned to appreciate them, but not dwell on them, as they came and went ever so briefly. I snapped back to reality and got up to get ready for the day like everything was fine.


    "We gotta head into town today." I informed her despite knowing she wasn''t listening. "I know you hate the temptation of being around people, but it''s necessary. I''m all out of food for the both of us."


    I paused to give her time to reply. She didn''t.


    "...yeah, nah, butcher shops don''t usually deliver." I responded to the air. "Last time I left you here by yourself, you took a bite out of the neighbour''s cat. You''ve lost that privilege, so you''re coming with me."


    Victoria rummaged through my closet as I talked to myself like usual. She opened each drawer one by one, running her fingers across my clothes in search of familiarity. The textures of the different fabrics felt amplified to her in some way, as if her touch had grown hypersensitive. The cheap, scratchy material of one of the sweaters I never wore caught her off guard. She quickly retracted her hands and scrunched her nose with a shudder, backing off and deciding to explore the bookshelf instead.


    "I want you to try pig''s blood. I know you say you hate pork, but it tastes way different," I followed her to the bookshelf and supervised her exploration, a hand on my hip. "You desperately need nutrients, and until we figure out what exactly you can and can''t eat, you''re gonna have to experiment."


    Victoria found a picture frame on one of the shelves. One I''d faced down for a damn good reason. I immediately reached out to try and take it from her, but hesitated, and bit my lip in defeat as she picked it up.


    Tap tap.


    She pointed a clawed finger to my face in the photo, her head tilting ever so slightly. Her lips parted, as if about to say something, but no sound came. My expression softened at the display of recognition; it was a good sign.


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    It was a photo of us from high school, a little more than a month ago, before we both had to drop out thanks to our situation. It was... really hard for me to look at. In it, Tori and I were all dressed up in shitty makeshift costumes from the $2 store for the annual swimming carnival. She was drenched from the water and hugging me obnoxiously tightly with that damn grin of hers plastered on her face, while I was flinching away in disgust, trying to stay dry. There were two reasons I hated it. One being that it looked like I was disgusted by her, which only made me feel shitty in hindsight, and the other reason being that it was the last photo I had of her smiling. It was the last day she''d lived. At first I''d framed it in memory of who she used to be, but it had become a looming reminder of my guilt, so I faced it down. I wanted to throw it out, but I just didn''t have it in me to get rid of it. Victoria must''ve also been somewhat affected by the photo, as her hands grew shaky the longer they held the frame, and she suddenly planted it back face down on the shelf again rather abruptly. She shuddered and marched away.


    I watched her leave before looking back to the picture frame. Sometimes I wondered if she hated me deep down for what I did to her, other times I accepted that she no longer had the lucidity necessary for strong emotions like that. I didn''t really know which was worse.


    "Don''t stare."


    Pushing my sunglasses further up the bridge of my nose, I dragged Tori through the underground entrance of the mall. It took a lot of planning to navigate the mall in the day while completely avoiding sunlight and it wasn''t foolproof so I made sure I didn''t have much skin exposed before taking her here. I could feel her tense every time she noticed another person in the vicinity. She was acting like a dog that was refusing to cooperate, leaving their owner to tug on their leash. Her wide, milky eyes tracked each passer-by one at a time with a hunger she still wasn''t used to. It was a habit I''d been really trying to crack down on with her, but it wasn''t her fault. The specifics of her current state were still fuzzy, and until I figured it out, I''d have to take risks like bringing her with me everywhere... even if she wanted to eat everyone.


    Any time we''d go out in public - which I thoroughly avoided - I had my rules. She''d have to be fully covered, gloves and all, to hide her stitches and greyish skin. Tori was to never leave my sight. She''d have to keep her face mask on to conceal the deep scarring around her mouth, along with dark sunglasses like mine. In all honestly, it sometimes felt like we''d draw more attention to ourselves like that than if we tried looking normal, but it was better to have people suspicious of you being some celebrity in disguise than two reanimated corpses.


    Once we reached the butcher shop, she snapped her focus to the meat the second she could smell it. While she pressed her hands against the glass and studied the many cuts on display, and made those nearby back away in turn, I spoke to the worker behind the counter. To be honest, I wouldn''t have been surprised if the workers here knew what I was by now. I''d been coming here for years, dressed in my suspicious outfits and ordering everything that no one else ever buys. All the offcuts and parts they''d throw away. Sure you''d get the odd person asking to purchase animal blood or organs every now and then, either for some specific dish or for spiritual purposes, but doing so routinely as a teenager almost definitely gave me away. Either way, they were nice and never asked questions, which was all I wanted. Though I could tell they were wary any time I brought Victoria.


    "Now, with the kidneys, they are a little drier than usual, but they shouldn''t taste much different if you cook them." The cashier, Jean, explained. She briefly waved to Victoria, but the girl was busy staring at a passer-by who had brought their dog to the mall. The dog growled at her gaze.


    I paused as I processed Jean''s wording and raised a brow. "... if?"


    "Uh," Jean blinked and cleared her throat. "Y''know. Some people prefer to feed their dogs raw food and such."


    I don''t have a dog. Jean knows that.


    I brushed it off and nodded in thanks as I took the bags from her. I''d made sure to get more variety this time, wanting to get Victoria to expand her diet if possible. Right now all she liked was raw chicken, raw lamb, and for some bizarre reason, marshmallows. Aside from the occasional meal out of a stray animal or the neighbour''s cat that one time, she couldn''t eat much else. I knew she was in some sort of limbo, frozen right in the middle of her transformation, but since she didn''t have any fangs, I really wasn''t sure how she''d go with human blood. Maybe one day.


    "Oh, there''s also this." Jean passed me a container of congealed pork blood. "On the house. It expires today anyway."


    I had to suppress a reaction at the sight. Even after years of dealing with my hunger, and more than enough exposure therapy every time I came here, the sight of any more than a few millilitres of blood spiked my heart rate. I choked on my own breath before quickly composing myself.


    "Yeah, thanks." I muttered, quickly throwing it in one of the other bags so Tori wouldn''t see it. "Okay, lets-"


    I fell silent as I turned around and found myself alone. Tori was nowhere to be seen.


    "... fuck."

 3 - Fur

    ¡°Tori?!¡± I called, looking around for any sight of her. ¡°Where the hell did she go? I was right here!¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t see her leave.¡± Jean added in concern.


    I cursed under my breath and rushed through the irritatingly large crowd of people loitering around the area in search of the girl. Half-assed apologies fell from my mouth with every person I pushed past or into. Where would she have gone?


    ... god, where wouldn¡¯t she have gone?


    If I was a feral zombie-vampire with no rational thought and lost in a shopping mall, I¡¯d probably just attack the first person I¡¯d see,I thought.Could she have maybe recognised something or someone?


    Sundays were always the worst time to come here. Even without my preexisting agoraphobia, being swarmed in a cramped space full of humans made staying in control a nightmare. All I could smell was blood, and it almost pissed me off that I still managed to hear the occasional heart beating through all the earsplitting noise of the place. But even that was with several years of exposure and practice, I didn¡¯t even want to imagine how much worse it must be for Victoria.


    I managed to faintly pick up on her scent once I reached the start of the clothing stores area. There were so many people that it was hard to track it precisely. Up ahead, I noticed a small crowd, in which an older woman was panicking over a lost dog. I slowed to walk and listened in as I passed by.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t get a good look at who took him. Just -zoom - and he was gone! Right out of my hands.¡± the woman explained to the confused but supportive crowd.


    I quickly dismissed the conversation as irrelevant. As far as I was aware, Tori didn¡¯t have enhanced speed. Or at least she couldn¡¯t use it, if she did. The girl struggled to walk, the last thing she¡¯d be able to do would be to sprint.


    ... unless she was hungry enough.


    ¡°Ma¡¯am, what type of dog was it?¡± I suddenly spoke up, my tone shaky.


    ¡°A Pomeranian. Beige.¡± she replied. ¡°Have you seen one?¡±


    I shook my head and tried to remember what exactly the scent of Pomeranian was like. ¡°I¡¯ll look around.¡±


    The next few stores I passed were normal. Shoppers were busy and unbothered. So when I found one full of distressed and confused customers, I ran in. No one was saying anything, but they would look amongst each other as if they¡¯d witnessed something they shouldn¡¯t have. The smell of dog shampoo and Tori both lingered heavily in here, and I tried to seem casual as I followed it to the changing rooms out the back.


    ¡°Tori?¡± I whispered to each door. ¡°Victoria.¡±


    My body froze as I picked up the scent of mammal blood coming from the furthermost stall.


    ¡°Tori?¡± I murmured cautiously as I stepped inside.


    Jesus-


    The second I walked in, there were tufts of beige fur at my feet. Victoria was knelt on the ground, clutching the disheveled body of the dog to her chest. Her sunglasses and mask had both been discarded, exposing her signs of decay. Blood coated as much of the fur as it did the floor and her hands. I knelt before her, studying the sight before me in disbelief.


    She was crying.


    There were real tears streaming down her cheeks. Her brow was furrowed, her gaze distant. Her breathing was shaky with the occasional sob. There she was, feeling genuine emotions for the first time since she was human.


    ¡°... what did you do?¡±


    I scooped the dog from her arms to inspect what remained of it, and to my surprise, her hands hovered in the air for a moment like she didn¡¯t want to let go just yet.


    ¡°It¡¯s alright. I¡¯m.. I¡¯m not mad at you.¡±


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    While she shifted to hug her knees and continued faintly sobbing, I took off my sunglasses and turned my attention to the Pomeranian. It was dead, that much was clear, but what made me curious was that there were no bite marks I could find. The blood had come from claw marks Tori had etched into the poor thing. She¡¯d killed it by snapping its neck, it seemed. So why, in a moment of primal hunger, would she have chosen to just kill the animal instead of feeding on it?


    Cough.


    Tori grimaced as she pulled out a clump of fur from her mouth. She tossed it to the pile around us and hugged herself tighter.


    ¡°Oh.¡± I sighed. ¡°Yeah. Bit too furry to bite into, huh?¡±


    She averted her gaze.


    I kept my eyes on her face for a while. It was so expressive. So human. For over a month, I¡¯d spent my every waking moment trying everything I could think of to give her back just a moment of emotion, yet she¡¯d done it herself just like that. And not just one, but a whole onslaught of them. Regret, shame, frustration, guilt, anger. A horrible bunch to feel all at once, sure, but it wassomething.


    ¡°Can you hear me?¡± I couldn¡¯t stop myself from whispering.


    She momentarily glanced my direction before looking away again.


    Oh my god.


    ¡°Victoria. Hey!¡± I narrowed my eyes in almost anger. ¡°Don¡¯t ignore me!¡±


    She flinched slightly and shut her eyes tight.


    ¡°... please.¡± my voice broke.


    She was there. She was right there! And she... couldn¡¯t look me in the eyes.


    ¡°Hey!¡± I placed the dog beside me and reached out to cup her face in my hands, trying to force her to meet my gaze. ¡°Don¡¯t do this to me. Don¡¯t you fucking shut me out right now.¡±


    Victoria whimpered and more tears fell as she hesitantly opened her milky eyes, now full of such life. Such sorrow. I immediately regretted my harshness and apologetically caressed her cheek.


    ¡°Please. Just say something. If you¡¯re just gonna leave me again, say something.¡±


    Her shoulders shook as she opened her mouth and only cries came out. I winced and kissed her forehead in hopes of providing a little comfort.


    ¡°... D-Don¡¯t-¡± she almost managed to speak, only to be cut off as her body stilled and went limp. Her sobs faded away along with the light in her eyes.


    My heart shattered.


    ¡°Victoria!¡± I practically screamed. ¡°Don¡¯t you dare!¡±


    Just like every day, every conversation, the only reply she gave me was a numb blink.


    I couldn¡¯t bear to watch her soul leave her body again, and I couldn¡¯t stop the bitter tears fogging my vision. Shaking her shoulders did nothing. Begging did nothing. Yelling at her did nothing. All that was left of her was the same damned blank stare she¡¯d worn for weeks now. I burst into desperate sobs of despair and delicately kissed her forehead once again, before wrapping my arms around her and burying my face in her ash-toned hair.


    The hum of the tv was muffled as I ran the kitchen tap.


    ¡°No, Tori, you¡¯re not a cat person. No way in hell.¡± I chuckled, only to wince as I ran my lightly burned hands under the cold water. ¡°You always hated them. You told me very specifically that if you ever got a pet, it would be something ¡®cool¡¯ like a lizard.¡±


    The girl sat herself down on the arm of one of the sofas, observing the nature documentary playing on the tv.


    ¡°What?¡± I snorted. ¡°Pet stores don¡¯t sell those!¡±


    Her eyes tracked the scar-riddled lion on screen as he approached a watering hole. His auburn fur rejected the water upon first contact. But as he ducked his head under to cool off, the lion¡¯s fur gave in, strand by strand, surrendering to the weight of the water. Tori tilted her head, running her fingers through her own hair, her razor-like nails slicing some of the strands.


    ¡°No, you¡¯re delusional.¡± I laughed. ¡°An iguana would never fit in a fish tank.¡±


    She glanced down to her sharp nails as the camera panned to the lion¡¯s claws.


    ¡°You- ...huh?¡± I frowned at her, drying my slowly healing hands with a towel. ¡°No, it doesn¡¯t hurt that bad. It¡¯s just from the light.¡±


    Victoria suddenly rose to her feet and marched over to me, her determination shattering my deluded scenario for a moment.


    ¡°Hey, what¡¯s wrong-¡±


    She grabbed my hands rather forcefully - which fucking hurt - and held one of her own beside mine. I narrowed my eyes, completely lost as to what she was thinking. Her gaze was so intensely locked on our hands, panning from hers to mine and back again. I followed her line of sight and realised it was our nails she was comparing.


    Mine were tough and not well taken care of. They grew obnoxiously fast to the point of me having to clip them back almost daily, and would sharpen so easily that I¡¯d also have to file them every night as well. They wanted to be claws, I wanted to not pierce everything I¡¯d touch. It was a pointless battle, really.


    On the other hand, Victoria¡¯s nails weren¡¯t punished for simply adhering to vampire biology like mine. Hers were long, sharp, and somehow still feminine. They likely could¡¯ve passed under the lie of them being realistically coloured acrylics. But as I looked closer, I also noticed the dried blood under them from earlier. Time froze for a moment before I pushed those thoughts out from my mind and gently guided her to wash her hands in the sink. It didn¡¯t take any convincing, but she wasn¡¯t thrilled about the cold water.


    She looked back to the lion on the tv, as did I.


    ¡°Hm.¡± I crossed my arms. ¡°I don¡¯t think we¡¯re quite lions, but I see the resemblance.¡±


    Tori was just... fascinated by the screen. It almost made me feel guilty when the lion left the water to chase after a hyena that had wandered too close. I could feel the girl tense at the sudden bloodshed, after such a peaceful scene. I wrapped my arms around her waist from behind and rested my chin atop her head as we continued to watch, feeling somewhat somber. The lion was quickly swarmed by the hyena¡¯s pack, and it didn¡¯t take them long to overpower him. I held Tori tighter, protectively, as the blood spilled, and tufts of beige fur slowly fell to the ground.

 4 - Blackout

    "Zach, no, I..." Victoria exhaled shakily, her voice breaking. "I can''t. I''m sorry."


    "C''mon, just a bit?" I slurred, leaning against the doorway. "Just.. a sip."


    "I can''t help you. We''ve talked about this."


    "You know I''ll do something stupid if you don''t."


    The girl narrowed her eyes at the threat and shoved me back rather harshly. My sneakers skid along the timber deck from the force.


    "I''m calling your mom!" she barked, slamming the door in my face.


    The sound echoed through the empty street and pierced my eardrums like nothing else. I whimpered and retreated as my headache worsened. The thin air was suffocating with every breath. I brushed a hand through my scruffy black hair as I tried to regain my composure. My fingertips were freezing off, it felt like. Through my dazed and delirious haze, I tried to bang on the door, but the noise only sent me spinning further, and I blacked out momentarily and collapsed.


    When my blurry vision returned, I was met with the sight of my mother towering over me. Even with her silhouetted against the dim porch light, I could see the sharpness of her scowl, carved deep into her face like it had been there for years. My stomach twisted. The familiar scene sent me back to all the times I''d seen it as a child. My breaths thinned, my body already curling inward, instinct taking over. Just like when I was seven, when I was twelve, when I was sixteen. Always on the ground. Always looking up at her. Always waiting for the impact.


    But this time, there was none.


    "I don''t know why on earth he''d do this. He ate a rabbit just this morning, I made sure of it." the cursed woman conversed with a worried Victoria, who thankfully knew that half of what came out of the bitch''s mouth was never true. "He''s got more than enough life to drain back home. You''d think he''d go for one of the cows before running to a doll like you, huh?"


    "It... was unlike him." Tori murmured, only half listening. "Look, he didn''t mean any harm. It''s not his fault, and I don''t want him to get hurt or anything. I just want him to go home, especially with the sun rising soon."


    "Oh sweetie, trust me, he won''t be comin'' round here for a while." the wicked witch smirked to herself.


    I couldn''t move. I couldn''t speak. My hearing was muffled - I wondered if the stickiness on my cheek was from my ear bleeding. I stared between the two women above me through the small slits my eyelids could just barely manage to pry themselves open to.


    How did I get here? What''s happening? What did I say to Tori?


    "Yeah, I never really liked rabbit either."


    A warm smile crossed my lips as I watched my silent companion grimace upon taking a bite from a rabbit cutlet. She forcefully gulped it down before putting the rest back on her plate of assorted cuts of raw meat. She yawned. The harsh brightness of the room was like kryptonite to our shared nature, even if I had a better grasp of it. The lights pulsed with a brief flicker that was almost too quick to notice. The smell of blood and raw meat lingered in the air¡ªfaintly metallic, like the weight of death was settling in around us. Though to be fair, it always did with Tori. Her utter lack of any healing abilities meant her stitches needed to be replaced frequently. Namely for hygiene, among other things.


    Nights like this were easy. If the lights were on and all curtains were closed, I could just manage to trick her brain into believing it was still daytime, which made for a far less stressful sleep. Her body would be sluggish and weak, her head would constantly ache, and she''d be easily exhausted, but this lab-rat treatment was the only way to avoid disaster. Darkness often had a way of triggering Victoria''s darker, more primal side - a side which any normal vampire would lose after their first few days of being turned, but thanks to her frozen in-between state, she was still accompanied by it. Tori was smart, too, which didn''t help. In the past, I''d had numerous instances where I''d wake up in the middle of the night to find her halfway through an attempt to kill me, herself, wild animals, or even neighbours. Sometimes she''d run away and do god knows what before coming back before sunrise, which I wouldn''t have found out about if it wasn''t for the cameras I''d had to set up outside. She lost her rights to have her own bedroom after her first attempted murder. Despite the clear risk-to-benefit ratio, every time I had to enforce rules or restrictions on her, I felt a little more like a monster. I wasn¡¯t any better than my mother.


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    "Here."


    I picked up a chicken heart and took a bite, and fought the urge to giggle as Tori shot me a subtly offended look. She mirrored me and ate one of the others to prove something to me, only to pause as she tasted it. Her eyes lit up slightly and she started eating the rest like a kid in a candy store. Feasting on the hearts like it was her last meal, Victoria tore into them no better than an animal would. Her eyes sparkled with that same damn hunger I knew all too well, as blood and other meat juices stained down her chin.


    "Uh, don''t just wolf them down like that..." I cringed, not appreciating how uncomfortable it felt to be on the other side of this type of situation for once.


    "Hmf!" she protested, making a mess.


    "I mean it," I crossed my arms authoritatively. "You don''t have fangs, you''re gonna need to use cutlery."


    Tori coughed over my warning, immediately proving my point. I reached over instinctively to grab her wrist before she could shove another heart into her mouth. My fingers brushed hers, and I hesitated for just a moment, before everything went black.


    The usual hum of the fridge died off, like a heartbeat slowly fading. The classical music I always had running was silenced. Darkness was all that remained, and my heartbeat was the loudest thing in my ears. It took me several long, frozen moments to realise I couldn''t hear hers.


    "... it''s just a blackout, Victoria," I spoke sternly to the empty air, desperately waiting for my night vision to activate. "Do. Not. Move."


    "..."


    I winced at her lack of response and quickly reached out for her again, but my hand touched vacant space.


    Damn it!


    "What''s with you and running off on me, huh?" I huffed as I shot out of my seat and tried to navigate the room from muscle memory alone. I definitely hadn''t lived there long enough for such a challenge. Within seconds, I''d already stubbed three toes and hit both shins on the dining table. As my eyes began to slowly make out lights and darks, I sighed in relief. Lately it''d felt like my abilities had it out for me, like they''d purposely take too long to respond to my mental commands just to spite me.


    I grew more confident checking each room the brighter my night vision got, until I was running around the house like a moron. I wasn''t too bothered by Tori being spooked off like a deer again - it felt routine at this point - but the endless darkness was starting to quickly manipulate my thoughts more and more with every passing minute, and that definitely bothered me.


    "Victoriaaaa." I groaned as I traversed through the hallways. "Come on! This isn''t a game!"


    The second I picked up her faint but racing heartbeat, I took off towards it. Through our bedroom, through the second door, and into the bathroom. Tori jumped at the sight of me barging into the room, while I rolled my eyes at the sight of her sitting in the corner of the bathtub and hugging her knees.


    "Okay... enough. I found you. Let''s just..." I furrowed my brow at my own words. "Uh..."


    Why am I struggling to speak all of a sudden?


    Tori whimpered and curled up further. Her wide, bleached eyes stared up at me through the darkness. My eyes narrowed as I tried to focus solely on her, but I was struggling to stay afloat. My mind was flashing with violent images. Ideas. Plans. I had to shake my head to see clearly again. The damn darkness was messing me up quicker than usual. At least Victoria didn''t seem to share my problems this time. If anything, she just looked scared of me. I could deal with that.


    No - what? No, she shouldn''t be scared.


    "There''s fl.." my eyes shut and my body swayed for a moment, before I forced myself back to consciousness and extended my hand to Tori, "..flashlights under the kitchen sink. The power should b-be back on soon."


    She looked from my hand to my face again. Silent. Unmoving. Like she was studying a wild animal and deciding whether to run or play dead.


    It pissed me off.


    "Don''t do that." I growled.


    She winced.


    "Don''t look at me like that."


    Her fingers gripped her knees tighter.


    "Victoria, I swear to GOD-"


    She whimpered at my volume.


    With a grunt and my sanity hanging on my a thread, I grabbed her wrist and tugged her out of the bathtub, leading her out of the bathroom. My night vision was fading again. Blurring, too. My eyes were losing the battle to stay open with every heavy step I took. The voice in the back of my head was getting louder. Angrier. Demanding. I squeezed my eyes shut, but the moment I did, it felt as if something cracked from behind them. My gums pulsed. My hands flexed. The sound of her heartbeat sharpened like a needle pressing into my skull, and I nearly choked on my own breath as a painfully specific urge hit me. I tried to keep walking, to keep leading Tori to the kitchen just metres away, but my control continued to slip. Just keep moving. Just get to the kitchen. Just¡ª


    Then the world blinked out.


    A weak, wheezing noise pulled me back to reality, accompanied by a trembling heartbeat. The scent of fear lingered so sharply it burned my sinuses.


    I blinked, and the world refocused.


    Victoria was in the air, against the wall.


    My claws were wrapped around her throat.

 5 - Stitch by Stitch

    "What do you mean you snapped? If she''s like you, shouldn''t you not care about her blood?"


    "I didn''t try to eat her."


    "Oh, so you just wanted to kill her? So much better, Zach. Thanks for clearing that up."


    "Hunter, enough. He''s clearly out of his mind. He needs help."


    "No, what he needs is a prison sentence."


    "Hunter-"


    "He killed Tori! A-And then he lied about it!"


    "Clearly because he felt guilty!"


    "We deserved to know he turned her into a fucking zombie!"


    The voices blended together into a wiring pitch rattling inside my skull. My eyes stung; my focus set on a stain on the floorboards for so long that I forgot how to blink. The subtle tap of my boot every time my leg bounced raced against the ticking clock on the wall, both competing to see who could break me the fastest. It seemed the scratchy fabric of my jeans wanted to participate, too. The shouting made for good announcer narration. The dried blood clinging to my trembling hands stood out as a fierce competitor. The seats were all sold out; my company of conflicted friends from school were clearly passionate about this event.


    "I literally went to the police station just the other day to ask if there were any updates about Tori''s whereabouts, and she was a street away from my house the whole time." Hunter growled to the group.


    "I get it! We all get that, okay? All of us lost her." London tried to reason with him. "But the last thing Zach needs right now is more regret and shame. All you''re doing is making this worse."


    "I don''t understand why you didn''t tell us," Malachi turned to me, his brow furrowed as he struggled to pick a side. "Even just one of us."


    I didn''t look up from the stain on the floor.


    "Maybe because he''s a selfish prick of a monster?" Hunter muttered.


    The others shot him a look.


    "I''m just saying," Hunter raised his hands in surrender, "It''s stupid to pretend he hasn''t changed. Human Zach would''ve called someone way before turning to necromancy."


    "Uh, yeah, because human Zach wouldn''t have had the option?" London pinched the bridge of her nose. "If I accidentally killed someone and I had the ability to bring them back, I wouldn''t hesitate to try it either."


    "But he didn''t bring her back," Malachi murmured, "He just... reanimated her body."


    "She''s in there," I blurted before I could stop myself, finally blinking and averting my gaze. "She''s in there. Just... lost. She''s usually emotionless, sure, but sometimes she has these moments where I swear she''s fully lucid."


    The others were quiet for a few moments as they processed the information. London gently sat down on the couch beside me, and I instinctively inched away. I knew it was an attempt to show sympathy, but given my already overstimulated state, all I could focus on was her overwhelming scent attacking my lungs. Her coconut hair products, her vanilla perfume, the leather of her handbag. Maybe for the first time in two years, I wasn''t even thinking about her blood.


    "Why didn''t you tell anyone?" she asked quietly.


    I didn''t respond at first. What could I even say? Even a well-constructed lie wouldn''t help me. When the words finally fell from my lips, they were shaky and uncertain.


    "I thought you''d... rather remember who she was, than what she is now. I-I didn''t want to taint your view of her."


    "I kinda would''ve preferred to know she was dead, at least," Malachi sighed, "Would''ve saved us all the trouble with the police reports and the missing posters."


    "And the grief. Hello?" Hunter scoffed harshly. "He could''ve told us what happened, even if he left out the part of it being his fault. He could''ve said something else killed her. He could''ve said he found her like that. But he didn''t even lie! He just... what, went AWOL with her for a month? What about her parents?!"


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    "Hunter. C''mere." Malachi patted his shoulder and led him out to the backyard to give London and I a break.


    Once the door slid shut, the two of them continued arguing, the noise now muffled - which only made me wonder if the two forgot how enhanced my hearing was, because there wasn''t a single word I wasn''t still picking up. I glanced across the room to the door of my bedroom, where London''s sister Carly was supervising Victoria for the time being. I could just make out Carly muttering to herself as she stitched up Tori''s wounds. I then turned back to London, my guilt mounting.


    "I didn''t mean to hurt her, I swear. You and I both know I''m a dick to everyone except her. I lost time, I blacked out, it wasn''t-"


    "Save it," London sighed, exhausted. "I''m not... surprised about that. You always turn violent when you''re in the dark for too long."


    I nodded, grateful to have at least one person not see me as a monster. London brushed her honey-like hair behind her ear as she took out her phone and started texting someone.


    "I''ll get my dad to come round with the van to bring my stuff."


    "Uh, sorry, what?" I grimaced.


    "Zach, listen," London frowned at me, "You don''t think any of us trust you to keep living here alone with Tori, do you?"


    Okay, fair. I sunk into the couch and looked away, suppressing the urge to protest.


    "What are you gonna tell your dad?" I asked instead.


    She shrugged.


    "That we found you and you''d gone off the radar cos of substance abuse, and you need to be supervised."


    I gaped at that.


    "Seriously? That''s the lie you''re going with? What if he tells the police you found me and they start asking if you found Tori, too?"


    "He''s not like that." London put her phone away and took a deep breath. "I''ll manage. I''ve been around this long enough to know your routines."


    "And if I lose time again and hurt you? Or Tori hurts you? She''s tried to kill me in my sleep like five times now." I huffed. "I really think you''re underestimating the risks of living with two vampires."


    "One and a half, really," London muttered, "Carly can move in too, then. She won''t mind."


    "Uh, what?" Carly called out from the other room. "I kinda do!"


    .


    .


    "How''s she doing?" Malachi spoke gently as he cautiously entered the bedroom, locking the door behind him.


    "Mm, I''m making progress," Carly shrugged, halfway through stitching up a cut on Victoria''s cheek, "She doesn''t bleed much, so I''m not confident they''ll heal right."


    "Judging by the rest of her, it doesn''t look like she heals at all." Malachi gestured to the many bruises and stitched up wounds all over the girl. His gaze locked with Tori''s for a moment, and he quickly looked away with a shudder. "God! Are her eyes meant to be like that?"


    Victoria tilted her head, her bleach-white pupils scanning him up and down and searching her memory for recognition. Carly softly tilted Tori''s head back straight like a hairdresser would to a child squirming in their chair and continued her stitching.


    "None of this is supposed to be, Kai," She murmured, "It just is."


    "You are way too calm about this! She''s a zombie."


    "She''s not."


    "Okay, well she''s a vampire!"


    "She''s not."


    "Aight, so what do I call her?" Malachi huffed.


    "Her name," Carly offered simply.


    She tied up the stitch and pulled back to check her work with a nod of approval. Malachi winced as he once again took in Tori''s... different appearance. Her cold, grey skin. Her long, sharp nails. The endless bandages and injuries. Her pale-blue hair, now messily cut short to be out of the way. How she sat so still, idling like a character in an RPG lobby. The scarring on her mouth hurt the worst to see. Both of her lips were cleanly sliced up and missing small chunks. Her cheeks had some awfully thin areas where she''d chewed on them from the inside.


    "Her tongue''s cut up, too, and some of her teeth are breaking. Also, she doesn''t have fangs, which honestly surprised me," Carly explained, reading Malachi''s expression rather easily, "Her wounds don''t close, but at least they never rot. Whatever''s keeping her going, it''s doing just enough to stop her from falling apart. I mean, she may not''ve gotten Zach''s freaky healing, but she clearly got his PSI."


    "PS-what?"


    "It''s the measurement of bite force, or jaw strength. Zach''s around the same area as a hyena, I think. They eat the same, anyway; tear through the flesh and crush up the bone."


    "Ah."


    It was quiet for a moment, the air heavy and tense now that that gruesome image had been accidentally planted in both of their minds. Neither of them said a thing. The only noise came from the living room, where Hunter had gone back to arguing with London and I.


    "I don''t like the fact that he was alone with her for a whole month," Malachi muttered quietly, changing the topic, "He''s... He''s not that type of guy, but I just can''t feel comfortable with that. Y''know? The poor thing''s barely sentient, who knows what he did to her."


    "He wouldn''t hurt her," Carly shot him a slight glare, "Never on purpose, at least. He loves her too much."


    "Y''know what I think? I think some part of him deep down likes her being like this. Like a pet." Malachi scoffed. "Why else would he keep her secret?"


    Carly considered the possibility for a moment, but then shook her head, adamant that it wasn''t the case.


    "Give him some credit, he''s been a vampire since he was what, fifteen? He clearly ages, so it''s not like he still has the mental maturity of a teenager. He still has his humanity - at least most of it - it''s not like he''s a monster incapable of empathy."


    "I know, but I... Carly, he''s changed. Before he went MIA he was so much more alive than now - so much more present. He not only killed her and covered it up, but he''s now tried to kill her a second time. Something happened."


    "Mm," Carly crossed her arms, her gaze returning to Tori, "I''ll keep an eye on him."

 6 - Coffee and Chicken

    Wasn''t sure what woke me up at the ass crack of dawn at first, whether it was the sound of chattering from the kitchen or the noise of the coffee machine... until I realised I didn''t have a coffee machine. I climbed out of Victoria''s bear-hug and sat right up in bed, but the sudden movement made me cough a few times. The air of my room felt too thick for some reason, despite the fan having stayed on overnight. Tori stirred beside me at the loss of my contact. I whispered an apology to her and patted her hair, soothing her back to sleep. As I woke up further, I groaned at the recollection that Carly and London had abruptly moved in overnight. I narrowed my eyes through the dim lamp-given light of my room and I focused my senses beyond the door in hopes of figuring out what all the noise was about.


    "Oh, no, totally," London chuckled, "When he came on screen, so did I."


    "London!" Carly laughed. "Gross!"


    The coffee machine beeped as it finished. London took the fresh coffee over to the dining table where Carly sat. They continued rambling about some show I didn''t care for, giving out far too much information in the process, so I turned my focus from one sense to another. Aside from the sharp stench of that of a cafe, I could make out bacon, eggs, toast-


    "Ew. They''re eating breakfast," I murmured to Tori, who was knocked out again, "Kinda forgot that was a thing."


    I was going to ignore it and go back to sleep, especially since waking up before midday was straight up unhealthy for me, but a thought hit me.


    ... I don''t have frying pans or anything, either...


    "Oh you little-" I growled as I shot out of bed.


    As I stumbled through the house - only half dressed - I noticed that all the curtains were still down and there wasn''t any daylight coming through, which made me relax slightly. I appreciated that the girls respected that rule, even if they were breaking another.


    "Morning, Zach," Carly smiled with a wave as I slumped against the kitchen doorframe, only for her expression to quickly falter into confusion, "Woah, wait, why are you so tired? You look horrible."


    I glared, my chest heaving and my knees wanting to buckle.


    "It''s 8am," I spoke through gritted fangs, "I''m barely strong enough to stand until midday."


    "Oh. Forgot about that," she hummed and went back to eating her bacon and eggs.


    I shot an incredulous look to London, who just raised a brow back at me.


    "You mad about something? Your fangs are showing-"


    "I know that!" I barked.


    London deadpanned, not threatened in the slightest. She''d grown up with me and knew me more than well enough to call my bluff by now. Her arms crossed across her chest and she lifted a leg onto her other knee, silently challenging me to explain myself.


    "There is food... in my house... and I.. don''t like it." I managed, fighting sleep. "It reeks. A-And how did you even make it? The kitchen has like... two knives and that''s it."


    "We brought our own stuff." Carly shrugged. "Also - that reminds me - are you sure you should be eating as much raw meat as you are? I know your immune system''s on steroids, but your fridge was full of it, and I didn''t see much blood in there."


    London took another sip of her coffee, then glanced over to me. "Hey, speaking of, how have you been feeding? Does Tori drink blood?"


    I shook my head. I was utterly lost at the jumble of words the girls had hit me with. My brain was struggling to dissect it all so early in the day. I raised a hand to give myself a second to think.


    "No." I murmured.


    "No?" Carly frowned, putting her fork down. "Zach, have you even fed since she-"


    "Just-! Hang on, did you..?"


    I forced my strangely weakened legs to carry me to the fridge. My jaw went slack as I opened it and found all my shit had been moved to one side, and the other side was stocked with food and bottled drinks. My vision blurred and tinted scarlet as the blood vessels in my irises burst from how strong the snarl I gave the girls was. Carly raised her hands in a plea of innocence, whereas London tried to hide a snort and smirk.


    "Your eyes are red-"


    "I KNOW!" I cut London off. "YOU MOVED MY SHIT!"


    She couldn''t help but snicker now. I slammed the fridge shut, the sound of metal against metal reverberating in my ears. My hands trembled as I tore through the drawers, each one full of food, cutlery, and god knows what else. The scent of unfamiliar spices, sizzling bacon, and copious amounts of sugar clogged up my lungs. I felt like I was being suffocated by it. I ripped open cupboard after cupboard. I didn''t even know what some of it was, but I knew it wasn''t my decision to put it all there, and that was driving me a little insane.


    London watched my freakout like a sporting match, "I also vacuumed and mopped, because you really haven''t taken care of this place."


    "I did your laundry," Carly added, "And the movers came and set up our rooms."


    "WHAT?" I tried not to claw my eyes out, feeling weirdly nauseous. "While I was sleeping? How the fuck did you not wake me up?"


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    "Silverleaf?" Carly forced a smile, failing to hide her impending anxiety.


    I froze.


    Silverleaf nightshade. The sickening dread from just thinking about it rippled through my chest. The plant was dangerous enough to humans and animals, but to vampires it was our wolfsbane of sorts. Burns to the touch, causes severe vomiting and organ damage if ingested, and can cause complete loss of consciousness and even seizures if inhaled in large enough doses. The worst part? It was completely odourless, much like carbon monoxide gas, even to vampires.


    Ever since I''d woken up, I''d found the air too heavy. My body too weak. The realisation that they''d used Silverleaf on me in my sleep made my dwindling sanity deteriorate further.


    It wasn''t just a stupid prank, it was a damn crime.


    "How?" I growled, barely able to get the words out past the rush of blood pounding in my ears.


    "Actually, there''s a bush growing in your yard, so we burned some in your room," London raised a brow, "As I said, you clearly haven''t been taking care of this place."


    I went to retort but nothing came out as another wave of nausea crashed through me, my stomach twisting violently. My knees buckled, and I collapsed down to the kitchen floor, gasping for breath like I was drowning. My vision flickered, the colours swirling as if the world was spinning.


    "You drugged me so I could sleep in?" I grunted. "V-Victoria would''ve inhaled it too!"


    "We made sure she wasn''t in the room. She was busy helping us clean." Carly approached me and gave my head a condescending pat.


    I tried to glare up at her but in all honestly I could barely make out which of the twins she even was.


    "You really haven''t been feeding, huh?" she murmured solemnly. "Meat''s not enough. When''s the last time you fed on someone?"


    I bared my fangs stubbornly at the blob of colours and lights before me, waiting for my consciousness to hurry up and fade so I wouldn''t have to answer.


    "Not since Tori died, right?"


    I didn''t know which of them said that, and my eyes had shut, so I couldn''t check, but god I wanted to rip their throat out for that.


    "Is it guilt? Or are you just holding onto her death, making it last a little longer?"


    Shut up.


    "I can''t tell with you anymore."


    "It''s like one second you''re yourself, and the next you''re a wild animal."


    Stop it.


    "Don''t take this personally, Zach. We just need you out of the way for the day so that we can monitor Victoria without you going all control-freak on her."


    "I was surprised to see you wake up this early, the effects shouldn''t wear off for another few hours. You''re a hell of a fighter, huh?"


    Please...


    "You''ll forgive us."


    "You always do."


    .


    .


    Tori studied her freshly painted nails curiously. She leaned closer to sniff the blue polish, only to immediately cringe in disgust at the heavy scent of alcohol.


    "Don''t move too much, bubs," London murmured, adjusting her grip on her pair of scissors before cautiously snipping the uneven chunks of the girl''s faded pastel hair.


    "She used to put so much care into growing her hair out," Carly sighed, screwing the nail polish shut, "Now it''s a wreck."


    London chuckled, "Zach''s not exactly a hairstylist, I''ll give you that. I reckon he gave her the Flynn Ryder treatment."


    "Meaning?"


    "Y''know, how Flynn gave Rapunzel that shitty haircut to save her at the end of the movie. Maybe Tori was getting her hair caught on things, or it was just too hard to maintain. I kinda wonder if she takes care of herself or if Zach does it all for her. No idea if she''s even lucid enough to bathe herself."


    "If it was anyone else taking care of her, I''d assume they''re a pervert and call the cops," Carly snorted as she hopped to the fridge in search of food, "I''m kinda glad Zach has like... negative libido."


    "Ugh, I don''t wanna imagine what he''d be like if he continued puberty after turning." London groaned.


    Tori''s eyes tracked Carly as she prepared a plate of roast chicken. Her nose twitched at the scent no better than a rabbit''s. She instinctively shuffled forward in her chair to get a little closer, only to be gently pulled back by London. As London continued to carefully refine Tori''s haircut, Tori''s neck twitched. London immediately pulled back, her heart rate spiking and her grip on the scissors tightening. She studied the girl for a long moment, assessing if it was a general flinch or a hint of danger, before sighing and continuing her work.


    "Still as twitchy as ever," London grumbled.


    "Really? I haven''t noticed her do it once." Carly raised a brow, taking the plate out from the microwave.


    "What, you think she''s cured or something?"


    "No idea. But she used to have at least ten a day, and that''s probably the first time I''ve seen her do it since she... y''know."


    London was quiet as she considered her sister''s words, focusing her attention on Victoria again. Your average high-school''s biology class didn''t exactly teach about tic disorders, so her knowledge on the science of Tori''s condition was limited. Though she assumed it would be different after undergoing a supernatural reanimation, anyway, as most of Victoria''s biology was.


    "Here you go, Tori."


    Carly smiled as she sat across from her and placed the plate of roast chicken on the table, along with a bag of chips beside it, specifically chosen as they had always been Victoria''s favourite. Tori looked between the two options several times, undecided. While the scent of the roast chicken was calling her name and making her salivate, she couldn''t help but feel a strange sense of familiarity with the chip packet. Her brow furrowed, the conflict only deepening. London put the scissors down and took a seat next to her.


    "I''m honestly not convinced you''re supposed to share Zach''s carnivore diet," Carly offered somewhat sarcastically, "I mean, you don''t exactly have the teeth for it, and I guarantee he hasn''t even tried getting you to eat normal food, so I''ll let you choose for yourself."


    Tori frowned.


    She reached out an uncertain hand to the chicken first. As she began chewing on a piece, she shook her head at the surprising difference in taste than she''d been expecting, having only been eating meat that''s still raw as of late. The warmth was also confusing for her, since the only times she''d had warm food were when her meals were still alive. Victoria gulped it down, half uncomfortable, half finding it nice. She shook her head again.


    "Right, okay," London grimaced at the scene, "Uh, maybe try the chips?"


    Carly opened the packet and passed it to Tori, who leaned away from the potent scent of salt and vinegar. Reluctantly bringing a chip to her mouth, she shut her eyes tightly, preparing to hate it.


    But instead, her demeanour softened and she ate it rather happily. The twins looked to each other in relief while Tori started wolfing down more and more chips like her life depended on it. There was a shared flash of concern when Victoria hissed at the sting of the vinegar against her cut up tongue and lips, but she didn''t stop eating, so the concern dissipated.


    "See? What did I tell you? Zach¡¯s an idiot. He¡¯s been feeding her raw meat like she¡¯s some kind of cannibal." Carly crossed her arms with a pout.


    "Don''t worry, Tori," London gave the girl a warm smile, "We''re taking care of you now, and we''re gonna make sure you eat whatever you want. M''kay?"


    Upon finishing the packet, Victoria abruptly stood and wandered to the kitchen in search of more. The girls followed, quietly in awe of her ability to think for herself again. But the second Tori reached for the pantry door, her body stilled, and her fists clenched.


    "What''s up?" London murmured, concerned.


    The pale girl took one slow blink before racing off in a blur of movement. The twins sputtered in unison, struggling to process the uncharacteristic display of speed. Only a moment passed before the sound of violent retching came from the bathroom.

 7 - Retching and Reaping

    "Oh my god! What do we do?"


    "Help her, damn it!"


    "Okay! Okay!"


    Victoria''s grip on the toilet seat tightened with each retch. The ceramic cracked under the pressure between her trembling fingers. Her misty hair danced over her eyes with every heave of her chest. The piling abomination of liquid dispelling from her throat melded into an amalgamation of half-processed meat and blood as it sloshed into the toilet bowl. A fragile cry roared from her chest after the vomiting ceased. The violent passing of stomach acid had deteriorated her rotted tongue and lips further, the chewed up walls of her mouth progressively weakening. Tori held her head in her hands over the bowl as she sobbed uncontrollably, the pain unbearable.


    "Sweetie?" Carly bit back her own tears at the sight. She cautiously knelt beside the girl and placed a hand on her upper back for support. "You''re alright. It''s alright. Just get it all out."


    London, however, kept her distance. She halted at the doorway of the bathroom, her jaw setting as she assessed the danger. She''d been in this situation before - trying to comfort a vomiting vampire - and she knew the probability of Victoria losing control as a defence mechanism.


    "Carly," she whispered. "Be careful."


    Carly nodded before brushing a short strand of Tori''s hair out of the way. The twins had only known this version of her for less than 24 hours, but anyone would''ve known this was new for her. The girl was crying like she was allergic to her own tears. With every hiccup and scream, her face contorted with confusion and fear. Like she didn''t remember where she was, or what had happened. Her eyes were almost too wide, darting around like she was seeing for the first time. Her trembling hands moved too much, too animated, like she couldn''t control them. It wasn''t like her. Her face scrunched slightly in a tic, and Carly narrowed her eyes.


    "... are you here?" she murmured cautiously.


    Tori continued her broken sobs, but made eye contact with her. Carly''s jaw dropped.


    "T-Tori! Oh my god! You''re here!"


    "What?" London raced over, ignoring her better judgement. She sat on the other side of the girl in disbelief. "Hey. Hey, are you... alright?"


    Victoria settled slightly, though tears still fell and her chest continued to heave. She wiped her eyes and fought against another retch.


    "W-Where''s Zach?" she struggled to speak.


    The girls exchanged a glance of conflicting emotions before turning back to her. Carly parted her lips to reply, but couldn''t find the words.


    "He''s asleep." London answered carefully. "How... uh... how is this possible? Do you even know what''s-"


    "I want Zach." Victoria growled, frustrated. She was too weak to get up, and too scared of vomiting again to move away from the toilet bowl, so she merely glared in a plea.


    "Tori, please." Carly suppressed a sob. "You''re here. Just stay here. Just stay with us for a moment."


    "London." Tori''s voice grew weaker with each breath, like she was running out of them. "I need him."


    London''s heart shattered. Finally, after a month of believing her closest friend was missing or dead, she was reunited - not just with her sentient corpse, but truly her - and the girl only wanted to see someone else. She supposed it was fair, in a way, but it still cut deep. With a reluctant sigh, London stood back up and headed out of the room.


    "I''ll wake him up." she murmured as she stuffed her hands in the pockets of her jeans.


    Carly winced sympathetically as she watched her sister leave.


    "Get up!" London growled at my clearly unconscious form she''d dumped on the lounge earlier. "Your dead girlfriend''s asking for you!"


    I literally couldn''t hear her if I tried. The remnants of the silverleaf in my system was busy giving me a ketamine acid-trip of a dream. I was more than happy to stay in my rainbow castle with my flying, talking vacuum cleaner sidekick.


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    "ZACHARY!" She slapped me.


    No effect.


    "I''m gonna fucking kill you if you don''t kill me first, oh my god." she groaned.


    Having run out of ideas, London reluctantly pressed her wrist against my lips. My lips immediately parted as I attempted to bite her, before she pulled away just in time.


    "Aha!" she pointed a finger as my slightly awake expression of groggy confusion. "Knew you were starving."


    I sat up with a grumble under my breath, my head spinning and my senses exhausted. I rubbed my eyes. "Why would you drug me if you don''t know how to wake me up?"


    "I did know. See? It worked." She huffed stubbornly.


    The distant sound of faint sobbing was picked up by my sensitive hearing. At first I ruled the noise out as being Carly, probably upset about something she found on the internet like a news story about injured puppies. That was, until I heard Carly talking over the crying. My eyes snapped wide in the direction of the bathroom as I came to the sleepy realisation that only one other girl lived here.


    "Oh. Yeah. Tori vomited her guts out and woke up and wants you with her." London muttered, not quite hiding the sting in her voice.


    I launched right off of the lounge, nearly tripping as I raced to the bathroom.


    "Vic-" All words left me as I processed the scene before me. Tori snapped her head around to face me, and her milky eyes - slightly more saturated than usual - locked with mine. Time stood still while I approached her. The room was silent, London and Carly watching from their respective distances. I knelt on the cold tiles beside my love and cupped her face in my hands.


    "Hey." I murmured, unable to hide a warm smile.


    "Hey." she weakly smiled back.


    "You''re... talking now?" my breath hitched with hope.


    She shrugged. "It hurts."


    I nodded.


    My gaze drifted to the cracked toilet seat and the horrible gore she''d thrown up, then to her decayed mouth. I could feel myself almost flinch at the new damage. Carly handed me a cloth she''d run under the tap. I nodded in thanks and began wiping the blood and vomit from Victoria''s face and mouth.


    I could hear how steady her heart was beating, compared to its usual slow thumps. How she was breathing automatically, without the long pauses she normally experiences. Her skin almost felt warm. Almost.


    "Every time you wake up like this, you inch a little closer to life." I spoke gently to fill the thick silence. "You... um..."


    I took a deep breath. "When you attacked that dog the other day, you tried to speak."


    Her eyes darkened at the memory.


    "You wouldn''t look at me." I continued. "All you said was ''don''t.''"


    Victoria flinched as I wiped the blood on her teeth.


    "I know you''ll be gone again in a few seconds, but I''m... I''m glad you''re getting better." I forced a smile.


    She frowned at me in desperation. I''d noticed her silence, and that the light in her eyes was fading again, but I''d grown to accept that these moments never lasted.


    "Maybe next time I''ll give you a pen and some paper, yeah?" I tried to joke.


    She didn''t laugh.


    I dropped the towel and cupped her cheeks in my hands once again, leaning in closer to press my forehead against hers. I shut my eyes and shuddered, letting myself drown in the fading familiarity. "I''ll wait for you, Victoria."


    As her lips pressed against mine, I didn''t register it at first. Not until the skin of my face suddenly scorched like a lighter had been held against it. Victoria''s lips weren''t as soft as I''d remembered, now cut up, chewed, and decayed. I quickly recoiled and scrambled back on my hands and knees, my eyes snapping wide as dread overcame me.  I immediately began to hyperventilate as my instincts flared and fight-or-flight became all I could think about. She winced at my rejection, her eyes shutting tight, before her expression gently reset into its usual blank stare. And with that, she was gone again.


    "Zach, hey." London ran over to me. She blocked my view of Tori, grabbing my shoulders with a firm expression. The last thing she wanted was for me to snap.


    Meanwhile, Carly sighed and helped the girl I used to know stand up, her once again zombified and vacant. After flushing the bloody toilet, Carly wrapped an arm around Tori''s waist and led her out of the room.


    I couldn''t handle it.


    Any of it.


    "It''s alright! It''s fine! You''re fine." London''s voice came soft and concerned. She took my shaky hands in her own firmly. "Breathe."


    "D-Don''t fucking tell me what to do!"


    My vision grew tampered by growing black spots and fuzzy areas. My skin scorched. Every nerve in my body was on fire. I couldn''t handle that alone, and I could handle the psychological part even less.


    "You don''t get it. Y-You didn''t feel it." Tears burned down my cheeks as I sank further into panic, backed up against the wall. "H-Her lips were just... rotted, and she was so fucking cold. That''s not her. That''s not my Victoria."


    "C''mon, don''t say that." London frowned. "You know that''s her. I don''t know why she''d kiss you like that, I don''t, but you know more than anyone that that''s her."


    I shook my head frantically. "N-NO! My Tori''s warm. And she smiles. And she laughs and she giggles and her voice is soft and sweet and-"


    London gripped my hands tighter as I rambled.


    "And that''s just not her anymore." I sobbed.


    I hung my head in shame.


    "I broke her."


    "Zach-"


    "She knows not to kiss me! She knows that! She''d never do that to me!"


    "Please-"


    "I must''ve really fucked her up for her to forget something like that, huh."


    "Zach!"


    "SHE PROMISED SHE''D NEVER KISS ME AGAIN!"


    London sighed. "She can barely remember her own name, Zach. You told me yourself, most of her memories are of her feelings towards things and people, nothing more. Maybe all she could remember was how much she loves you."


    "S-She was fucking lucid!"


    "Barely! She was almost fully blank when she did it, I saw. You need to calm down. If you''re upset, cry. We both know damn well that you don''t do well with anger."


    "Stop fucking parenting me." my voice broke from a sob that interrupted me halfway.


    "Someone has to now that Victoria''s dead!" London blurted.


    I didn''t reply. I couldn''t. What could I even say to something like that?


    So I did as instructed. I slowly hugged my knees, hung my head, and cried.

 8 - Pity or Patience

    The laugh-track from the secondhand speakers resting on the tv''s cabinet served to soothe me like a hot chocolate. Tori was in charge of movie selection this week, which usually ended in disaster, but she''d surprised me this time; a horror comedy about a vampire trying to work as a doctor. I appreciated the irony. While the thick stench of the overly buttered popcorn and the floury marshmallows were distracting at best and sickening at worst, I had no right to complain. With the stress of the new year finally settling down, and our final year of high school about to begin, I knew this month was the calm before the storm - probably the calmest moment we''d get for the rest of the year. So while the threat of our last first day back being mere hours away loomed over her and I, we let ourselves bathe in the comfort of our last night of stability. No textbooks to read, no exams to stress over, no last minute YouTube searches. Just us in the moment.


    "Oh come on, even you don''t react like that to a bloody nose," Victoria snorted at the scene playing, her voice muffled from the handful of snacks she was shoving into her mouth, "I know it''s fictional, but running away like a lunatic is so not realistic."


    I couldn''t help the soft chuckle that escaped my throat, nor the warmth that flooded my cheeks. I shook my head and relaxed further into my spot on her bedding-drowned mattress.


    "One time, in year four, a kid in my class broke his knee real bad from falling off the playground." I crossed my arms, my eyes drifting from the flatscreen to my lover''s distracted eyes. "He had like half a bone sticking out. There was blood gushing everywhere. Believe it or not, I did in fact run for the hills."


    "Year four? You were human back then, dick." Tori pouted.


    I laughed and shoved her shoulder. "I was still scared!"


    Her eyes shut in her grin, her lips slightly thinning as they were stretched. I could spend the rest of my who-knows-how-long lifespan right in that moment, right there with her. Her cheeks tinted, her usually pale skin so full of colour - so full of life. Her long ashy hair threatening to spill from her messy ponytail. If my eyes could print what they captured, I''d keep that photo in a locket and take it to war with me. I didn''t even notice how much time had passed, my focus still locked on my love.


    "What?" she chuckled nervously, embarrassed at my lingering gaze. She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at me, her grin weakening with insecurity. "You''re not thinking of eating me, are you?"


    I blinked at the accusation before scoffing in disbelief, my smile returning. I brushed a hand through my hair as I struggled to come up with an excuse that didn''t sound straight out of an early 2010''s fanfic.


    "I wasn''t thinking of eating you," I settled on. "...tonight."


    That earned me a harsh scoff and a pillow to my face, which I quickly threw back. Tori flinched at the difference in strength between her shot and mine, but was too busy giggling to comment on it. While I attacked her with one of her millions of other pillows - much softer this time, Victoria dramatically begged for mercy, shielding the snacks with her arms. The chatter of the tv was drowned out by our theatrical war of bedding, the room filling with laughter and pleas of peace. My ankle knocked the popcorn bowl, sending the burst kernels scattering to the carpet, the movement making me slip and fall onto Tori. We tumbled from one side of the bed to the other before stilling, and I found myself trapped under her.


    The air grew heavy and thick. My face began to burn up. All I could see before me was her furrowed brow, her laboured breaths, her reddening cheeks. Wavy strands of her failed ponytail brushed my temples. We didn''t say a word.


    She had this... strange look in her eyes. One I wasn''t familiar with. I could hear that her heart was pounding no slower than mine, as if it wasn''t obvious enough. The more I focused on the racing beats, the more detail was fed to my brain; the dense swoosh as each chamber contracted and released, the white-noise static of the flow of her blood through each vein and artery. I was more than aware that my eye colour had shifted, with my vision blurring and tinting itself red it wasn''t hard to tell. I knew my fangs had slipped out, evident by the ache in my gums. But I couldn''t move. Couldn''t speak. I barely understood what was happening when her lips met mine.


    It felt like fire. Not that exciting, thrilling fire in your veins that I''d been told by friends that someone would feel in that moment, no. A scorching, destructive, blistering burn that spread throughout every nerve in my body. My eyes screwed tight and I sharply cocked my head to the side, desperate to escape the harm.


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    Victoria immediately pulled back, her sapphire eyes widened in concern and regret. A hand fell over her mouth as she took in my reaction, before she scurried back on the bed to give me the distance I so craved.


    "Zach, I-I''m so sorry-"


    "...Why did you..?" was all that fell from my lips as I sat up, struggling to calm down as dread took over. The burn wasn''t fading. It felt like I''d been thrown naked into the sunlight on a 12 UV day.


    Victoria''s eyes narrowed. Her lips parted, but she couldn''t find a reply.


    "What did you do?" my voice only grew weaker.


    "I didn''t mean to hurt you-"


    "No." I cut her off in a wince. "Don''t say that."


    With my every limb screaming from adrenaline, I swung my legs off the bed and paced around the room. I couldn''t get rid of the burn.


    "I''m sorry I kissed you, Zach," Tori pleaded, her hands dropping in her lap as her shoulders slumped. "I-I know you hate that stuff, I know you don''t feel any of it, but I-I thought I saw a green light. I should''ve asked. I should''ve-"


    "Can you shut up for a sec?" I growled, though it was more of a frustrated whine. I held my face in my hands as I continued in circles. I couldn''t think. Couldn''t focus.


    "Zach." Victoria frowned. "You''re doing the - the thing again."


    "The thing? You can speak English, last time I checked. Use your fucking words." I snarled. "''The thing'' - like you''re a some kind of fucking Sesame Street character."


    Tori crossed her arms and shot me a hurt glare. "Fine! You''re slipping. You''re overreacting from a simple mistake, pacing around like your feet are on fire, and snapping at me like you hate me. You''re upset, sure, but how about we talk about it instead of you just-"


    "I said shut it!" I barked, my claws trembling as they shielded my eyes from having to face her expression.


    She stilled, her jaw setting and her face paling.


    I grunted and fought the urge to claw my hair out. Now I had the immediate guilt and shame of hurting her to pile on top of the things already pushing me off the edge. I stopped my frantic walking and slumped against the doorframe of her closet, facing the drawers as I fought to catch my breath. I couldn''t bear to look anywhere in her direction, not when I could feel her gaze piercing right through me. The handle of the closet door warped under my strength as I attempted to grab onto it and ground myself. It wasn''t working. Nothing was working. The tv was too loud, the snacks reeked of sugar, and the however fleeting memory of Victoria''s lips against mine kept repeating in my mind. My skin was scorching from the inside out. My entire mouth ached. I was overly salivating, which only led to every breath being accompanied by a gulp in an attempt to drown out the hunger. As the initial anger seeped out and guilt took its place, my overstimulation shifted from being directed to the environment, to her. Her racing heart, her shaky breaths, her occasional swallow of dread.


    "I told you," I mumbled, afraid of my voice changing its own volume, "I don''t feel that kind of thing."


    I didn''t have to look at her to know she''d winced at that.


    "I-I know that." Tori held back an onslaught of tears. "I wasn''t thinking. I guess I''m used to people who are, a-and sometimes I slip into old habits-"


    "I-Is this what you feel?" I couldn''t help but ask.


    "Uh, what exactly?"


    "I''m burning." I managed to turn and meet her eyes, feeling my sanity holding on by a thread. "I can''t breathe. I can''t think. Every nerve in my body is raging and screaming and I have so much adrenaline pumping through me that I feel like I could race a motorbike right now but I don''t understand why because we''ve been that close before and I never felt like this then-"


    "Zach! Slow down!"


    "...'' I gulped and stood straighter. "All I can think about... is how easy it would''ve been for me to latch onto your neck."


    The girl''s face fell, her heart shattering. I witnessed all the trust she''d built with me over half a decade vanish in a mere moment. All that remained in her head was the primal instinct to flee and survive.


    "Tori," I sighed in guilt and looked away. "I... I wasn''t going to, but I''m just... on edge now."


    She didn''t reply.


    I felt a spark of anger return at her silent treatment. Before I knew it, my feet had sent me pacing again.


    "You can''t be surprised. Anyone with common sense would know the risks before dating a vampire. You know the risks. You cannot be surprised at the thought of me having a vampiric reaction to you kissing me, for fuck''s sake."


    She blinked and instinctively shifted away from me ever so slightly, hugging her knees.


    "No, don''t give me that shit!" I pointed a clawed finger at her, my fangs gritting. "You''re a grown ass woman, you know what you''re signing up for with me."


    Her eyes narrowed.


    "We''ve been through this a thousand - ...huh?" I faltered. "No, it''s... nothing like that. Don''t - No. Shut up."


    The first tear fell from her eyes as she watched me spiral, helpless to stop it.


    "I said shut up."


    "I-I didn''t say anything.." she whispered shakily.


    "I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP, VICTORIA!"


    The moment the words fell from my lips, the tv turned to static. The lamp''s lightbulb shattered. The walls trembled. Tori''s face scrunched in utter fear, her arms tightening around her knees. The burning in my veins ceased. My anger dissipated.


    In the silence of the heavy, fractured room, I stood towering over my love''s cowering form.


    "... don''t give me pity disguised as patience." I mumbled weakly. "And don''t fucking kiss me."

 9 - Escape my Voice

    The second it hit my tongue, all other senses were drowned out. The blaring EDM from the speakers faded into a muffled hum. The humidity of the densely packed rave was replaced with a soothingly cold breeze with every drop. The epilepsy-inducing lasers darkened as my eyes fluttered shut. I gripped the shoulders of the stranger before me tightly, blissfully ignoring their wildly inappropriate noises - at least the sounds were the only uncomfortable thing about doing this, for me.


    London tugged me back by my waist, and I groaned at the loss of the blood. She grabbed my wrist, silently telling me to get it together. With a reluctant sigh and a clearing head, I licked my thumb and swiped it over the dazed stranger''s wound. Their tissue and skin quickly began to repair itself. The blood lingering on their skin hardened and flaked away in the wind. I watched the poor woman sway on her feet as she forgot I was even there, and that any of that had just happened.


    London span me around and glared at me.


    "I said a sip!"


    "I sipped!" I pouted, my voice rather whiny thanks to the increasing intoxication of fresh blood.


    "You gulped." She muttered.


    "Well, you do it, then!" I huffed. "I can''t really measure it"


    She raised a brow, unsure if I knew that sounded dumb.


    I rolled my eyes. "It''s loud. I don''t like it here. I wanna go home."


    "If you go home, you have to deal with Victoria."


    I let out a bigger whine at that.


    "Why''d she.. fuckin''... do that shit, huh?" I struggled to keep my eyes focused, falling drunker with every passing second. "She was like.. ''oh, heyyy! I missed you, Zachy. Lemme just.. give you a good ol'' kiss, yeah? Cos that''s never ended up badly before!'' God. The bitch."


    "You''ve given me this rant eight times tonight." London deadpanned. "It''s been a week, almost. You really need to get over it."


    "If a corpse kisses me, is that.. is that necrophilia? Reverse necrophilia?" I continued to ramble. "Or is it not, cos I didn''t consent?"


    "I- what?" She cringed. "Uh- she was basically no different to you at the time; it''s not necrophilia for you to kiss someone, so why would it be-"


    "Well, duh, cos I''m not dead."


    "... Zach. You are."


    "Noooooo. No not like dead-dead. I was only dead for a few seconds. I''m... I''m not a corpse. Tori''s a corpse. She rots and shit. Her eyes are white. Her skin''s kinda blueish. I... I think she''s a zombie."


    "Yep. That''s enough."


    London took my wrist and guided me through the tight crowd of drunk, high, and tempting humans. I frowned as we passed by two people who were yelling at each other, one of them pulling her hair up into a ponytail and ready to fight.


    How could anyone argue here? They''re playing David Guetta.


    "Do you think my blood tastes like everyone else''s?" I attempted to make conversation as London pushed us past more people.


    "What? To... To me or to you?"


    "Tastes like shit to me. But do you think you''d taste a difference?"


    "In what situation would I ever have the slightest damn idea?"


    "I dunno. Just wondering. Jeez."


    "You''ve been sober from this for way too long." she sighed. "You don''t even remember how to be high anymore."


    "Yes I do! I have my rules." I grumbled in protest, despite struggling to jog my memory. "I gotta make sure my teeth are straight, gotta make sure I don''t get mad, and... like... uh..."


    "Make sure you don''t kill anyone?"


    "Yeah. That."


    As we finally passed a barrier gate, Hunter and Malachi joined us, having been waiting there for us for longer than they should''ve. Hunter didn''t even look at me. He had one hand fidgeting with one of his hoodie strings, and his other holding a beer. Malachi, on the other hand, took hold of my free wrist to give London a break from babysitting me. London nodded to him and moved to walk beside Hunter as we headed to the carpark. I frowned.


    "Why''s everyone mad at me?"


    "Don''t start." Hunter muttered bitterly.


    "I didn''t do anything!" I continued.


    Malachi gripped my wrist slightly tighter. "You were meant to be home an hour ago. Carly''s been worried sick, blowing up our phones. She''s convinced herself that Tori''s gonna kill her in her sleep."


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    "Well, why doesn''t she just smoke silverleaf in her room to keep Tori away from her?" I retorted, the sting in my voice a little too obvious. "She clearly knows how to use the stuff."


    London winced slightly at the reminder of what she and her twin had done to me.


    "Why bother with the suicide shit?" Hunter blurted, unable to keep it in anymore.


    I shot him a look, pushing for him to elaborate.


    "You''re immortal. Get used to it." he brushed a hand through his light brown hair in an attempt to calm down. "Doesn''t have to be a cut to be self harm."


    I clenched my jaw, my eyes burning into him. Before I could respond, Malachi spoke instead.


    "He means to say, starving is stupid. Your self destruction doesn''t impact you as much as it impacts everyone else. We always have to pick up the pieces, and then you go and do it again."


    "Guys, don''t be selfish." London furrowed her brow.


    "Tell that to the guy who used to ditch school every morning because he''d be too hungover from spending his nights drinking from hookups!" Hunter growled.


    I flinched at the memory of my old habits. That wasn''t even long enough ago for me to excuse it.


    "This is better. There''s way more people here, it''s outdoors, and there''s already destined to be a hundred people with weird injuries by midnight." Malachi spoke firmly. "Everyone''s high enough to not think anything''s off."


    "He overdid it." London blabbed. "He came in here barely agreeing to one person, yet I had to drag him away from his eighth."


    "Eighth?!" Hunter''s eyes snapped wide. "That''s like... what, a couple glasses worth?"


    "Uh, probably just over a litre, going from his old system." Malachi shrugged. "Could''ve changed, but he used to take I think 150mL on average from each person when we used to do this?"


    "He took too much the last few times. Like a lot." London murmured.


    "Mm. Maybe two litres." Malachi dug his nails into my skin subconsciously.


    I winced at his grip and growled at him. "Dude! I can walk on my own!"


    "I''m sure." his tone was dead flat.


    Being thrown up onto the back of the ute felt humiliating. The illegally placed seatbelts on the floor of it wrapped around my chest, waist, and ankles, leaving me lying there out with nothing to do but stare up at the dark sky. I hated this stupid rule. One time - one time I tried to attack Hunter while he drove us home from a feeding night, and ever since, I''d gotten the mental hospital treatment. Sure, laying down like this meant no other drivers could see me and call the cops, so I could understand that, same with having me separated from the others, but being strapped down? Irritating at best.


    Malachi switched on the small lantern that was tied beside me to give me enough light to counteract the effects that darkness had on me. At the rave, the flashing lights had kept me somewhat sane, but we''d be driving for long enough for that jet black sky above to tempt me. At least my prison wasn''t psychological this time.


    I spent the first half hour just thinking, processing, and grieving. There wasn''t much else to do but slowly sober up. Though as the drive continued, my enhanced hearing started really pissing me off, forcing me to listen to the others having their fun and listening to music from inside the car. They even played I-spy. Like kids.


    I couldn''t help but reflect on how isolated I''d always felt with them, no matter how close we were. When Tori died and came back, and I ghosted everyone, I thought it would be hard. Thought I''d be lonely with no one to really talk to. But instead, I realised that I felt just as lonely when I''d be in the same room as them. Human me never felt like that. Human me never had a reason to be isolated from his friends. I had to let go of the train of thought, or I''d fall into a rabbit hole of resentment towards my vampirism that I really didn''t wanna go down at the moment.


    I was set free after we arrived to a gas station a few minutes from my place. They made sure to park in the trees just before the station so that no one would notice me being unstrapped from the back of the ute.


    "Can I get these?" I murmured to London as I picked up a box of iron tablets from one of the shelves.


    She shot me a weird look and shook her head. "I think you''re fine."


    While the guys gathered firewood and other campfire supplies, which was making me mentally freak out, London and I were on snack duty. I honestly couldn''t remember how most of what was before me even tasted like, so I found myself more interested in the other isles.


    "Uh, hey, does Victoria need any?" London tapped my shoulder and gestured to the menstrual product section.


    I frowned.


    "No? I don''t think she''ll ever need them." I brushed the back of my neck. "I mean, yeah she''s not quite as turned as me, but most of my reproductive functions shut down after I was turned."


    "Oh. Right."


    Another customer came in, and I didn''t pay any thought to them, until I picked up the scent of their blood. My ears pulled back, my nose twitched, and I stood fully straight to get a glimpse of them from above the isles.


    It was a woman. Maybe late teens, early twenties. Her freckled skin was slightly tanned, and her long dark brown hair cascaded over her shoulders in gentle waves. Her outfit was slightly too revealing for your average post-midnight 7/11 run, so there was a good chance she''d just been at the rave, too. I''d never seen her before, but something about her was... eerily familiar. Her blood smelled of jasmine and peony. I only knew one person whose blood was like that.


    "I need to go home." I whispered, frozen in dread and confusion.


    "What? What''s wrong?" London whispered back, following my gaze and not understanding what the problem with the girl was.


    "Either it''s the blood or the adrenaline or the darkness. Something''s fucking with my head. I wanna go home. Now."


    "Zach, can you explain for once in your life?"


    "She smells like Tori." my voice cracked at the very words. "Human Tori."


    London fell silent and looked to the girl again. She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes as she scanned the stranger over.


    "She looks nothing like her. Same taste in shoes, I guess." she shrugged. "Tori''s at home asleep, according to Carly."


    "London, I''ve... never met anyone like her before. I didn''t think there were others."


    "It''s probably a blood type thing. Maybe Tori has a rare type, and this girl has the same one."


    "Tori''s B positive. Not that rare."


    "Uh- how do you even know that?!"


    "Shh!"


    I crept around the corner and into the same isle as the girl, trying my hardest to seem indifferent. I studied a few products before me, stealing the occasional side glance to her. She was more tense than I was. Her hands were holding onto a packet of 2 minute noodles so tightly that I heard a few crack. Her gaze was locked on a random spot on the shelf. She gulped.


    I narrowed my eyes.


    "Do I know you?" I blurted.


    "Zach!" London whispered, facepalming.


    The woman met my gaze for a split second before looking away again. Her eyes were like sapphires, just like Tori''s used to be.


    "I don''t think so. Sorry."


    Her voice was different than I''d expected. She took her items and approached the checkout, eager to get away from me.


    I turned back to London, my heart pounding.


    "What the hell was that about?" she huffed, walking over to me.


    "I... I don''t know. I think I scared her. Maybe I was just hallucinating."


    "Maybe." London sighed, exhausted. "You do look a bit like a junkie right now."


    "You''re so kind to me." I mocked with an eye roll, heading over to the guys.


    "You need a shower, too. You reek of blood."

 9 - Fear the Flame

    I was starting to wonder if anyone in this damn country respected the fire ban.


    The flames crackled and burst in vibrant warm hues, the weaker twigs combusting while the logs roasted. The crickets managed to be louder than Hunter''s speaker playing Tame Impala, which was impressive. While the others sat close around the fire pit on chairs, Tori sat on the floor a foot further back, and I sat on the steps of the back porch a few metres away. With my jacket nearly setting me on fire the last time I saw a campfire, I wasn''t taking my chances anymore. Especially with my body currently throwing a fit. Spending over a month deprived of human blood - even just fresh blood - had weakened me more than I''d thought. I couldn''t feel the difference until now, as my body digested the blood from the rave-goers. It felt like I''d taken crack. I couldn''t tell whether I was gonna pass out or go the rest of the week without sleep.


    "God, Mrs G pisses me off," Carly groaned, taking a sip of her beer, "She gave me a detention for being 10 minutes late the other day. I was with the nurse! I had a note and everything!"


    "I thought she was on maternity leave?" Malachi smirked.


    "No, that was last year... and the year before that."


    "How''s that work?"


    "Mate, she''s like 35, she''s probably been teaching for so long that she''s earned an overdose of sick leave or something." Carly sighed.


    "Yesterday she called my mum because I wore coloured socks." Hunter chuckled, cracking open a Smirnoff can.


    "At least you guys have younger teachers. Mine are all elderly guys." London groaned. "You''d think with age comes knowledge, but we spend almost every class watching YouTube videos on the tv."


    "You know who I miss?" Malachi grinned. "Miss MacDonald. She used to tutor me at lunch."


    "Is that the only thing you remember about her, Kai?" Carly smirked and raised a brow.


    "Oh, nah, she was nice and stuff, too." he scoffed back unconvincingly.


    "I... Am I allowed to say I thought she was a lesbian?" Hunter murmured.


    "I thought that, too!" London jumped in. "I was so upset when I found out she had a husband."


    "What? Why?" Hunter chuckled.


    London frowned. "I don''t know! I felt deceived."


    "Do you have a parasocial relationship with your other teachers, too?" Malachi sat back in his chair with his grin widening.


    Talk about something else. Anything else. Please.


    I rested my head in my hands, my elbows on my knees. The last thing I needed was more reminders. I didn''t want to think about my friends, or school, or how they were all together every day doing their final year of high school without me and Tori. They''d all go to school formal together. They''d sit through every exam and then complain to each other. They''d eat lunch together. They''d graduate together.


    While Tori and I would stay here. Alone. Legally registered as missing persons. Struggling to wake up each day. Barely alive. Imprisoned in this damn house - which I could only live in because I''d accidentally mind controlled the owner years ago. Until recently, the only person who knew where I was, was my dad, and I only told him because he''s on the other side of the world and can never come find me.


    It was one thing when I died, and had to come to terms with never living the same life as my friends again. It was another when I had to take Victoria and bail us out of school to go MIA. And it was all my fault - everything was. I couldn''t yell at anyone, couldn''t hurt anyone, couldn''t kill anyone, nothing would take the pain away. All of it was my fault. Part of me wanted my friends to leave again. Part of me wanted to run away again. But damnit, a tiny fraction of me was glad to not be alone anymore. They were good people, and they stuck with me through every shitty thing. Fuck, they still helped me out now no matter how much I refused it, or threatened them.


    "Want some?"


    I looked up right away, startled from being pulled out of my thoughts. Malachi stood before me, reaching out a beer to me. I sighed.


    "It won''t do anything. You know that." I hugged my knees. "My metabolism''ll burn right past it."


    "Yeah, I know," he shrugged, "I meant for the normalcy."


    He sat down on the steps beside me and placed the beer between us in case I changed my mind. He mirrored my knee-hugging and turned his attention back to the fire before us. While he continued the conversation with the others, I found myself studying him.


    He didn''t look alright.


    The bags under his eyes were dark and didn''t plan on leaving any time soon. His locs had grown longer than he usually liked, long enough for him to have tied them up. He''d stopped shaving. Kai used to somewhat brag about his clothes, their price tags and brands, but here he was in a Kmart hoodie and sweatpants. I wanted to ask about it. I wanted to force a therapy session out of him. But it wasn''t hard to guess that him having two of his closest friends disappear and be presumed dead would''ve been the trigger.


    "How ya feeling?" he turned to me, always too empathetic for his own good.


    I blinked back to life and exhaled, fidgeting with the edge of my sleeve.


    "Like I took dog meds or something." I shrugged. "My brain''s on steroids. I''m thinking about everything I don''t want to."


    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.


    He nodded.


    "Plan on killing any of us?"


    I barked a laugh.


    "No, not particularly. Maybe myself if I have to."


    "Only if necessary, thanks." he smiled to himself, though somewhat concerned, and took a sip from his own beer.


    A tense silence fell between us as the others chatted. I glanced over to Tori, who was sitting on her knees and poking the dirt with a stick like last time.


    "So why''d you kill her?"


    "What?" I snapped my head back around to stare Malachi down, my pulse running cold.


    He shrugged, completely unfazed, or at least pretending to be.


    "I know you said it was an accident, I''m not tryna back you into a corner or anything." he continued. "But I feel like there''s a reason you never said why you did it."


    I just... stared at him.


    "What, were you arguing?" he began, unsurprised by my silence. "Did you have a fight and snap? Did you drink from her and go too far? Like, what''s...? What''s the deal?"


    My eyes blinked slowly as I took in the fact I was even being asked this. I shook my head and looked ahead again.


    "I don''t wanna ta-"


    "I know you don''t want to. That''s why I''m asking." he muttered. "You''re usually pretty blunt about these things."


    I winced.


    "... please don''t make me think about it."


    "Zach."


    I sighed.


    "Fine. It... was kind of all of the above, I guess." I gripped my hands together tightly, trying to speak without actually thinking about it. "I tried to drink from her, we argued, it became a fight, and I snapped."


    "You''re leaving out a lot there, man."


    "Mm? Probably."


    "I won''t tell the others." Malachi put a hand on my shoulder, his eyes meeting mine firmly. "I want to know so that you don''t do it again."


    Fuck my life.


    "... we fucked."


    "What?"


    "Well, we... tried to."


    "What?!"


    Here we go.


    "You know what I''m like with intimacy, even a kiss puts me in murder mode." I brushed a hand through my hair. "But Tori was patient. She would''ve spent the rest of her life a celibate if I were to ask her to. That''s the problem, I didn''t want her to."


    I picked up the beer beside me.


    "I wanted to make her happy, just once. I told her it was fine. It... God, I never should''ve tried."


    "How did you..?"


    "I couldn''t handle it." I shrugged. "I got overwhelmed and I tried to hurt her. Really tried to hurt her. She stopped me and we got into a fight about it. I wasn''t calming down. At some point I blacked out, and then there she was, bleeding out in my arms."


    Malachi was dead silent. He gulped the information down and fought the urge to tremble. A deep sigh left his throat as he pushed down his reinforced fear of me.


    "You''re still not telling me everything."


    I shot him a glare. "Be glad I''m telling you anything!"


    "Jesus." He rubbed his temples. "I... don''t even know what to say to that."


    Before I could respond, a blood-curdling scream echoed throughout the neighbourhood. Everyone flinched at the sound, while I stood right up and took off in its direction on autopilot.


    "Hey! HEY!" London ran after me and grabbed me.


    I snarled at her.


    "You''ve had enough today." she glared.


    I clenched my jaw and glanced over to the others, who were all staring at me in fear. I fucking hated their expressions.


    "Fine." I relented, letting my heart rate slow back down. "Sorry. I''m on edge."


    The scream came again, and Hunter and Kai marched past me, no questions asked. They headed past the gate, around to the street.


    "Stay here with them." Hunter told the twins, gesturing to Tori and me.


    I bit my lip at the idea of not going with them. I could faintly smell blood not far from here, which was probably from whoever was screaming. The fire and the music were too loud for me to hope to pick up any talking or arguing from the scene from here.


    "They''ll be fine." London held me tighter.


    A third scream sounded, only for it to be harshly silenced, and the smell of blood doubled.


    "Watch Victoria." I tore London''s hands off of me a little harsher than intended and bolted after the guys. I could hear her yelling after me, but I knew she''d do the same if she knew what was happening across the street.


    The guys didn''t say a word. They didn''t yell out. They didn''t run. They crossed the street and headed through the park, marching right up to the scene. Up ahead, a guy double my age was knelt over an unconscious woman, tightly gripping a butcher knife that had been wedged between the girl''s ribs. Hunter sped up and launched himself at him.


    The two rolled for a moment before Hunter managed to pin the guy down and start pummelling the ever-loving shit out of him. Malachi ran to the victim and assessed her injuries, not hesitating to call an ambulance. I lingered back on the road, not finding the strength to come any closer. I wanted to help, but I also wanted to drain the girl and maul the guy, so I stuck to spectating for the time being.


    Hunter looked more feral than me right now. Every punch carried with it every burst of anger he''d ever bottled, it seemed. The attacker managed to throw him off of him, and scrambled to his feet in an attempt to run for it. Hunter pounced after him. He grabbed him by the shoulders and threw him to the ground.


    Jesus Christ. This is why I''m scared of footy players.


    I could hear the girl''s breaths weakening rapidly, her heart pounding, her blood gushing out. Malachi tried to stay calm while he talked to the operator on his phone, but even he was wary of what Hunter and the other guy were up to.


    The attacker pulled out a second knife and attempted to slice open Hunter''s neck. He dodged just barely, his neck receiving a serrated flesh wound in the process.


    Fuck it.


    I went to run, but my feet felt too light, and an intense swing of adrenaline hit me. Every muscle in my body woke up. Before I knew it, I''d already sped to the scene. Realising just in time to not crash into a tree, I wrapped a hand around the attacker''s neck and threw him. I hadn''t had the time to control my force, so the guy went flying before collapsing near the end of the park.


    "Oh, fuck!" I hissed in regret, holding my hands to my chest. "... I-I swear I didn''t mean to go that hard."


    Hunter stared at me, wide-eyed. He subconsciously felt for his cut with his fingers, my close proximity triggering his anxiety. Thankfully, though the cut stung, it wasn''t deep enough to be dangerous.


    "I told you to stay with the girls!" He barked at me.


    I took a moment to make sure I wouldn''t be sent zooming again if I moved my feet, then cautiously walked over to him.


    "You could''ve died."


    "I had him!"


    "What if you hadn''t dodged, Hunter?"


    "You really think this is a safe environment for you right now? You''re still adjusting to having your strength back, you''re still intoxicated by blood, and you haven''t been in the best mental place lately."


    "I''m fine!" I crossed my arms way too fast and punched my forearms in the process. "Let me heal you-"


    "Fuck no!" he cringed, stepping back and hiding the wound under his palm. "You think I''ll let you use your freaky powers on me with what happened with Tori?"


    Oh boy, did that make it hard to stay controlled.


    "A little help?!" Malachi huffed, trying to stop the woman from bleeding out, which only resulted in blood spreading all over them both.


    I shuddered at the sight, but marched over regardless.


    "Can I heal her?" I grumbled, kneeling beside Kai.


    "There''s an ambulance on the way" he muttered back, which wasn''t a no.


    "Dude, the ambulances here are useless, they take an hour to arrive." I scoffed. "Look, I''m calm! I''m present! I''m not gonna eat her and I''m not gonna turn her. I''ll just close the wound."


    "Then what do we tell the paramedics who''re expecting to find a stab victim, jackass?" Hunter came back over.


    "It''s that or she bleeds out, jackass." I mocked.


    He didn''t respond. I looked to Kai again for confirmation. He sighed and hung his head, his hands trembling and covered in blood.


    "Just... Can you make it stop bleeding without getting rid of the wound? That''s all I want, I just want the blood to stop."


    I nodded, but deep down I was shitting bricks. I''d never tried to control the severity of my healing, especially not on others. It was usually all or nothing.