《Bella Donna》


 Transylvania

    Summer, 1792


    I remember it well. I was 10. My brothers were 13 and 14. We lived in the countryside in the summer months. Father was in London helping the sick, and mother watched us in the country home. My brothers and I swam in the lake since we were small. We couldn''t afford swimwear like the socialites in London, we were family after all. We swam nude. I remember this part well. My one brother and I were up on the biggest stone, he jumped first watching his feet hit the water first. It was my turn. I squatted to my knees sucking a gulp of air in ready to let my feet leap off the stone. My heels were in the air when a force grabbed hold of my arm. "No, you won''t! You are a lady! You will act like one! Young ladies do not do such things as this!" My mother''s Italian accent was thick in her anger as dragged my naked pre-pubescent body from the lake into our summer home.


    Present Day, November 4th, 1799


    My brothers are off to study abroad. Father and I left England so I could be safe from the black death. My father is a doctor. He helped London combat the sickness until it took my mother a year ago. He hasn''t been the same. No one is the same. It starts as a simple cold. I and my brothers were distanced away from my mother when she first got the sickness. The last time I saw her was in our London home. Fever, headache, chills, and she was weak. The next, my father wrote that the plague has overtaken her. She developed black sores and died within two days. She was a strong woman. She came to England from Italy as she was betrothed to my father arranged by my grandfathers. We left our lavish home near the castle. I''d awake every morning to see the castle''s shadow within the distance.


    God, why can''t I live in a castle?


    "Bella! Hold the reins! I must look at this map. We must have missed our turn." My father is an intelligent man, though, reading maps was his weakness.


    "No, no father. You hold the reins. Your eyes aren''t what they used to be. Allow me." I swiped the map away from his grasp reading the lines we were travelling on. "But father, we are well on our way. We haven''t missed our turn, it''s up on this road here." I point out, my long white sleeves flying in the breeze. We''d been travelling for what felt like an eternity, more or less it was 2 days. We have eaten all of our food so I am hoping we are greeted with fruit or bread at least. If I''m famished then I know my father is worse. "I thank god every day you have your mother''s beauty and my brains!"


    "And I am grateful you allowed me to study with my brothers. Knowing how to read is far more entertaining than learning how to sew." I nudged his arm as he held onto the reins with a forceful hand. "It''s all fun and games Bella until your future husband needs new socks. Then where you be? You must be a scholar and a lady. I promised your mother on her death bed you would be taught in the same." Pfft! Consequently, you can tell I''m not fond of being a proper wife. I cannot explain my feelings about marriage. It''s sinful. I bear too many sins that a priest cannot fix. I feel no attraction to men. Nor do I want to be around one who fancies me. Women do not want to be around me. Father says it''s because my beauty intimates them, even though they are far more beautiful than I. I think they think I''m odd. As though something is wrong with teaching a girl to read or write. As they are taught to sit up straight and breathe with 10 corsets on. I never enjoyed going to court, but if my father is summoned by the king himself then we must attend. Ladies in court wore skirts that could fit my brothers underneath. It was absurd.


    "Time will tell father. I''m young, I have no desire to marry at this time." The sun beats down on us and our horses. My dark hair heated my head. The rest of my body was cool in a white dress. It still felt like the summer months, but it was fall. My hunger was getting the better of me, I felt as if I couldn''t breathe under my corset. Every little stitch of the flowers on my corset stuck out. "My child, you are almost 18. Any older and you will be a spinster. I would be heartbroken if you would turn this way. You''ve said that since you came of age to wed. Please, keep an open mind about Transylvania Bella Donna. You may find a respectable man to marry." Man? No, and what if that is the life I desire? To live alone in the countryside with a furry companion by my side. To live near a lake to soak my feet and read one of my father''s books. He has enough of them. He won''t miss them.


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    Media? is a quiet little village, surrounded by mountains. Our cart got off a road leading into the village. Little children played in the tall grass as we approached the village sign. All running along to the families. The townspeople were out of their homes. Either commuting or off to the centre square where it looked like there was a market. These people have never seen outsiders before. They all stared at my father and me. We halted before the square. My father''s practice was being painted on the wooden overhang of a red brick home. "Is this where will we live father?" I hopped down, my legs were light. Almost forgot how to walk until I retrieved my balance. Restlessness. That''s what I read about. An anomaly in which if you don''t use your legs for a long period, they will become restless.


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    "Good day, good sir and my lady. Welcome to Media?! Are you passing through here long?" A man who looked familiar but I''d never seen greeted us. He was a fuller man, in his face and his stomach. Jolly, you would say, with a white beard. "I''m Joesph! Everyone calls me Joe. I own the tavern down the road." He reached out his plump hand to my father. They both shook as my father smiled. "Abe. I''m the new doctor your mayor requested. This is my daughter Bella Donna." I was so used to curtsying to the noblemen that it came without thinking. "Good day Mr. Joe."


    "My, my! A beauty and a lady. The Lord has truly blessed you, good doctor." I observed my father watching me. A sparkle gleamed in his eye. "I am truly grateful. The Lord has given me three sons as well, they are off studying abroad in the field of medicine."


    "What about Bella? Do you miss your brothers? A young woman like yourself should be married by now! Can''t let her go, Abe? Haha!" Joe nudged my father taking me in. "Oh no, um...no one was good enough for my daughter in England. I want to find her a good husband."


    "You do that and I''ll find you a good mortuary." I chuckled feeling no one else was laughing. "I''m hungry, you must be to father. Won''t you excuse us, Mr. Joe." I pulled on my father''s coat guiding him to the market. "Why must you say no one is good enough for me? I''ve told you for years. I am not fit to marry!"


    "Bella! No one is ready! But it is a task every woman must do. You cannot run from it!"


    Can''t I? Must I succumb to a life destined to redundant house tasks? To serve a man? To serve a man who doesn''t acknowledge my existence? Only to serve hand and foot. To bare dozens of children that will likely do the same? To be seen and not heard?


    No. No, I mustn''t. I will not. I will die before I serve a man who thinks I am lesser than him. The sin of pride is the only sin I will hold on to.


    "I do wish to run from it father. I will not be treated as an object. If I wish to marry. I want to be their equal. Their intellectual. Not someone to wash their shoes for the rest of my life." I forgot my shoes in the cart, finding my feet burnt on the cobblestones underneath the balls of my feet. "Forget it, look! I didn''t know it was the season of peaches." I stepped from a cart of tomatoes to the cart full of red and orange fruit. All plumb in their way. The two I chose were full on the top of the peach near the steam. One was redder than the other. I think the red ones are sweeter. That one is mine. My father paid two shillings to the tender. "We will not just forget Bella. Maybe after you have eaten you will come to your senses." My father bit into the peach chewing roughly. I wanted to treasure my fruit. I often felt uncomfortable eating in public. After all that I''d seen in London during the black death, I refused to let anyone near my food. I will wait until we get settled in our home.


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    My father and I moved into our new home shortly after speaking to the few townspeople who spoke English. My father spoke to business owners, and I spoke to elderly women. They all say the same.''How beautiful. You are a beauty. No husband? Such shame for a woman of your beauty.''In every language, in any town. Men and women alike say the same. That I am a beauty, though, once I open my mouth it''s like I spoke another language. My father says I look like my mother, but act like him.


    My father set up his doctor''s office. He and I wear handkerchiefs with a cotton lining underneath to touch our noses and mouth. It was to protect ourselves from harmful bacteria found in contaminated blood and spores from the black death. In London, they all made fun of my father and me. We would walk down the streets of London going to court to meet with the high priest. Sadly, all the on-lookers who laughed were piled in the streets within days.


    "Bella, hand me the bottle of Opium. This gentleman is dealing with sleeping issues. We must treat immediately." My father had his first patient. An older gentleman complained about not having a full rest at night. He thought he was plagued by demons. My father reassured him that he was dealing with insomnia. A sleep condition that affects you getting a full rest of sleep. "Yes, father." I turned my feet on the wood dragging my heels to him.


    "Y-you taught your daughter to read Doctor?" He shook as the word spilled out of his mouth.


    "Yes sir, I believe every child no matter man or woman deserves an education. Besides, I needed help in my line of work after my sons left. So it paid off." I handed my father the vile labelled Opium. The old man still gawked his eyes. "Good day sir, don''t you worry. You''re in good hands. My father was at the top of his class. By the new year, you will be better." I braided my hair just so I may not contaminate any of my father''s studies as well. I came in like a church mouse and disappeared as one too. I stepped out of his office down a narrow hallway, his room was to left. The lavatories were to the right. My room was in the middle at the end of the hall. It was an inch bigger than my father''s room. He always gave me the best, I ponder sometimes as though my father is buttering me up to speak of marriage again. He gave me the biggest room to sweeten the deal. A mansion next to the king''s castle wouldn''t seal the deal. Nothing will. Marrying a man felt like throwing me in prison without the key. Men weren''t appealing to me. Another sin I bare, I fantasize about women like I would a man. I couldn''t imagine living another way.


    Their beauty goes unmatched. They smell, walk and talk differently from men. Their body was sculpted by god himself. Skin hugging around their hip bones. Supple breasts laid perfectly, long hair shined under the sun''s glow.God, please allow to me marry a woman.

 My Death Sentence

    Leave. Leave. Leave...


    I awoke in a pool of my perspiration. My dreams have been erratic in the coming days. My father usually worked on Saturdays. Today, however, there was supposed to be change. We were invited to the Thomas estate. It was one of the richest families in Media?. They invited my father and I to have lunch. I never enjoyed socialite events. Even if it was just lunch, the high class turn their noses at us even though my father is the one who delivered their babies, wraps wounds and give them their fancy drugs.


    I got dressed quickly peering quickly in the big mirror in our hallway. I must brush my hair, it''s a nest. How can I impress the wealthy when my hair looks a mess? I ran a brush from my scalp to my wispy ends. My hair has a mind of its own. It''s heavy with natural curls. I brushed thoroughly until the nest, on the top of my head, was soft as silk. My drawer held all my clothing, red always brought out my Italian complexion. I was more pale than my mother before she passed, her skin was the colour of honey at the bottom of a jar. Dark and sweet. I was the shade of sand. White, yet dark in some rays of light with a colour of peach hue. I slipped my head through the red dress over my smock allowing the thick straps of fabric to fall off my shoulder. I tied the corset under my bust, tying the strings tightly around my torso.


    "Father? Where have you hid my shoes?" My bare feet touched the wooden floor, the cold ran through my feet to the tip of my head. My god, why must it be this cold? I made my way to the examing room where my father was, bent over his desk reading up on new techniques of medicine. "Father? Were not you who said we have no time for dilly-dally? And now here you sit, reading. You''re starting to look like me." I found my shoes under his desk.


    "I am not sitting, I''m standing. I am merely skimming through my new medical books from London. We are heading out now. The Thomas family has generously sent a carriage for us." He fixed his overcoat around his neck. "Very well. I will await for its arrival. Why are the Thomas family having us for lunch? Are you going to be their permanent physician?" I peered over my father''s shoulder reading the title of the medical books. Error of the Mind. A book about disorders that inflict the brain. That a curse or a ''demon'' hasn''t brought on. Modern medicine has come a long way. Nothing can be simply prayed away.


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    The Thomas estate was like anything I saw in London. Open villas with thousands upon thousands of wild apple trees. A white home bigger than the entire main street of Media?. It was too much. Our carriage stopped abruptly at the front door of the home, as the family and its servants awaited outside the doors.


    "Good afternoon Doctor. Hope all is well." Sir Michael Thomas shook my father''s hand as I hopped out of the carriage.


    "That it is Sir Thomas. A thousand thank yous for your generous carriage to escort my daughter and me. This is Bella Donna."


    "Good day. Thank you for inviting us to your loving estate." I reached out for his hand as he laid a kiss on my knuckle. Why must men do this? Cannot any man merely shake a woman''s hand just as a man? That is all I desire.


    "No, no. Thank you Bella for joining my family. We have been waiting for such a beauty as yourself to grace my son Arthur and his mother Eugenia." He turned to show his stone-faced wife and boy he calls a son. He was possibly my age, but he stood as if he was cut at the knees. Wobbly with a fascination with the ground beneath him. He only caught a quick glance at me as I saw through him. He was no man at all. Just a boy in his father''s rather large shadow.


    "Bella Donna. Is that your mother''s maiden name?" Eugenia, Michaels''s wife showed up out of nowhere behind him. "Um...no, my lady. Bella Donna is Italian for beautiful woman." I wiped little strands of fabric away from my shoulder. Perhaps I was uncomfortable under these circumstances. "Awe! I see, how exotic. Your skin is less pale than mine. Some might think you are a labourer haha!" Hmph...so you see simple farm hands, who are making a living just like my father as less than? Well, this isn''t going to end well. "At least my lady, they will know I work for what I earn." My father nudged me peering down at my shoes. "Please excuse her, I believe the sun has some effects on her."


    "Yes, I suppose, as is my wife surely. Please, come into our home. We''ll allow these kids to get to know one another." The servants scurried into the massive home before we entered. Heads down as though they were stricken with the sickness of shame. It wasn''t shame however, it was fear. Fear? What must another human endure to be washed over with that expression? If the servants are fearful then what does that entail for me? A mere visitor already being judged by the women of the home? Must be a waste of existence to be stored like dolls in this home. Must be.


    Inside the Thomas estate was something only to be seen by nobles in England. Lavish gold stair casings with red trim leading up the stairs. Rugs the colour of the forest canopy adjacent to the entrance. It was too extreme, to say the least. Everything screamed wealth to the highest standard. This family owed Media? but, have they seen how their dear people live? It was pitiful. They live up on the hill as they peer their nose down at us. Townspeople who work to live, not just live. Taking up space.


    "Please, join us in the dining wing. Our servants have prepared a roast for your arrival." Mrs. Thomas held put her hand dragging a train of fabric down the wooded hall. It was as though she had no feet. "Arthur? Why don''t you sit next to Bella? You two should become acquainted." The dining area was grandiose, to say the least. Bigger than the room were once in. I was so busy nit-picking over how stupid everything the house possessed I didn''t see this lanky piece of straw called a boy was doing before me. He held out his hand awaiting my grasp. I rejected brushing our shoulders together as I took my seat with no help. He waited on hand and foot. A servant pushed his seat out, let him sit then proceed to push the seat in. Another person placed the napkin on his lap.


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    How pathetic! Can he wipe his ass too?


    Arthur and I were the same age but I looked older than him. I sure as hell acted older than him. His face knew he wasn''t even man enough to grow facial hair. He had a baby face. Arthur Thomas was a man-child still holding his mother''s skirt.


    "So Bell, how are enjoying Media? so far?" Thomas lifted his glass as the servant poured wine. I denied to partake. Only sticking to the water put out for us once we sat down. "My name is Bella, and I haven''t been here long enough to enjoy what your town has to offer."


    "What have you been doing then? Didn''t my father say you were here for a few days?"


    "Yes, but I work for my father. He needs help in his practice."


    "You! Haha! What do you do? Sweep?" He chuckled, his mother overheard our conversation joining in the joke. Funny, I didn''t think it was humorous.


    "No actually. I label all over my father''s medicines. Instruct patients on how to apply or use the medicine and read my father''s medical books to further my understanding of the task at hand. So no Arthur, I have no time to sweep." My father sat quietly unknowingly what to say. The rest of the room fell silent until Lady Thomas arose lifting a glass. "Let us make a toast, to our families coming together." Her husband, my father, myself and Arthur rose a glass.


    "Here! Here!" The men cheered. "Cheers...I suppose." I squeaked out allowing the rest of the air trapped in my lungs to leave my body. It was as though the entire room was happy but me. I was dragged here, I wanted to stay home. Not to be put on display like a show pony for everyone to gawk at. I resemble everyone else, but I speak another language to him. A freak of nature I presume.


    "So Bella Donna, tell me, besides helping your father with his practice. What other things do you do around the home?" Lady Thomas dug into her plate. The rich are gluttonous in not only wealth but food as well. Thomas''s plates were full of food. Vegetables, roast, gravy, bread. I only took small portions as did my father. My father has theories that eating too many rich and salty foods is the reason for weight gain and early predisposition to death. The heart cannot take it.


    "I only help Father in his practice. Nothing more."


    "Cooking or cleaning dear. That was the question."


    "I do not cook but I do clean. I''m used to it since my father''s practice was in a different building than our home. My brothers cooked more than I."


    "Well, that should have been reversed, my dear. My Arthur is a hungry man." That was apparent. Your son hasn''t taken a breath since he picked up his fork. He''s not eating, more or less shovelling in a hole. "No matter, you can be taught. What are your hobbies? Painting? Music? Sewing?"


    "No, my Lady, I read in my spare time."


    "Read?! A lady reading? Abe! You aware of this?" Sir Thomas spoke up as he swallowed his heap of food. Both of the Thomas''s were bigger than most. Heavier. They were not something special to look at.


    "Well..um yes. My eyesight isn''t as good as it used to be and with my boys off to seek higher studies, I needed assistance with some medical books. It was out of my hands. I had to teach her to read." My father was tense, he shook his knife in his hand trying to cut into meat.


    "I see...it''s not heard of a young woman to read. Not willingly." Lady Thomas''s jokes were flat and crude. As though she always needs an audience to take her side.


    "Is that from personal experience Lady Thomas? Not willing to higher yourself on an intellectual standpoint?"


    "The only standpoint on higher myself my dear is God. The only book you should be reading."


    "At least you know how to read that."


    "Bella!" My father''s voice boomed. The rest of the men chuckled. They wish to meet me? Meet me they shall. "Please excuse her, I have been loose with disciplining her in her older years."


    "No matter. We can correct it after the wedding."


    "There''s a wedding? Who''s?" Stupid question to ask of me, but staring into my father''s eyes gripping the glass of my cup could have shattered it into a million little pieces. The pain of that was temporary. The pain of rightfully knowing this was a setup of an arranged marriage is worse.


    "Why yours of course. You will marry Thomas. It''s the reason we are ever here my dear." Sir Thomas spoke wiping away the grease and gravy from his large stomach.


    "Marry who? Him? No. Father! No!"


    "Yes, Bella! This is the way. This is how it should have been done a long time ago! You ought to be married by now!"


    "My dear, my son Thomas is a lovely man and will make you a glorious wife with children."


    "Glorious? Glorious! For what? To end up like you on your high pedestal?! To have anything but a seat at this table with your boy alone is my own personal hell. Let alone to bare children!" I stood up from the table slamming my glass down. "Enough Bella! This is going to happen! This young man has asked for your hand, and I have agreed. You are engaged, Bella."


    "Oh forgive me, I thought I had my own mind and my own decisions?"


    "I am so sorry Sir and Lady Thomas, you will have to excuse us. I think it''s been a little too late for Bella. She seems tired." The men nodded in agreeance. My father ran around the big table grabbing my arm to pull me out the door to whisk me away.


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    "What in hell''s name is wrong with you?! The Thomas''s invited us into their home and served us a lovely meal. Why have you embarrassed us like this?" He slammed the door of our home behind him.


    "I specifically told you I did not want you to ambush me on the subject of marriage! I cannot believe you happily went through with this meeting! I spoke to you about this subject on multiple occasions! I cannot fathom what possessed you to sell me off to the man-child!"


    "I am your father! I make your decisions! You are a woman! I should have raised it as such! This is gods will. This is what women do. They marry and bear children."


    "God''s will? What does god have to do with you arranging a marriage I have no say in!"


    "This is God''s green earth! We live on his land! We obey his commands! Women must marry! That is the end of this discussion!" My father turned his back running off to his study.


    Goddamn him! I have no say? No voice? I am forced to marry that man-child? No. To hell with that! Once my father goes to his chambers to rest for the night, I will leave.

 A Daring Escape

    Night had fallen on this restful village. I didn''t speak with my father for the duration of the evening. I opened the windowsill fully lighting my view with a candle. Not a soul was left on the stone walkways. Not even a field worker coming home from a long day outside. I packed my worldly possessions in a wicker basket not drawing too much suspicion. A different colour dress, plenty of undergarments, a silk nightgown from London and a few of my favourite books. Wuthering Heights, The Time Machine. A brand new book I purchased before we left London. The Turn of The Screw. I never mind the horror genre but the back promised a romance benefactor. So I clued in.


    For the first time in my almost 18 years, I was genuinely nervous. I found it odd, I wasn''t nervous when the black death took my mother or ravaged England. However, Am I nervous to take this leap of faith? To save me from this abysmal forthcoming that will be my life? The marriage I never signed up for. Nor agreed to in the slightest. My father believed I would jump heels first for a man-child the likes of Arthur Thomas? It is out of the question. It''s frankly laughable, as though the man who brought me into this world and raised me, does not have a clue of who I am. For what I stand for.


    I waited to hear the noise of my father''s snores in the room next to me until I unclasped the lock of my window. Leaping out not to allow the hem of my dress to catch before shutting the window. My bare soles rode the bumps of the shingles to the edge of the rooftop. My scrawny fingers hooked onto the edge; dropping my body weight onto the side of the house. Each finger had a mind of its own, as though they were regretting my decision to leave. I need to go on my way, I cannot be subdued into a marriage I do not condone.


    My feet hit the grass behind the back of our home leading into the grain field. I stole a box of matches from my father''s study and a lantern from the front door. Hiding its flame under my body to ignite the candle within. I began my journey heading into the grain field.


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    I hadn''t had the slightest clue where I was going. I pondered on an array of topics on my walk into the darker parts of the forest ahead of me. Perhaps, if I climb to the top of the mountain I can tell where I should travel. A bird''s eye view they call it. There could be another village to hide in. Sadly, in this modern age, it is customary to marry a young woman such as myself to the next chauvinistic pot-belly pig who bears wealth. If I believed in god more, I would ask him to let me live a life of solitude. A life where I am not burdened or pestered by man to bend my will to serve his. However, this isn''t how life is. All who breathe must answer to someone. I hope after I am long gone from this earth that no woman may share my burdens. Any woman burdened to serve a master.


    My feet sunk into the earth''s soil from the storm ahead of me. The mud which once felt warm under my feet has run cold. Climbing uphill was the only option until I found a more clear passage. In the trees and plant life alike, the thick brush held hidden traps in its wake. Branches snapping back at my arms and legs. Sharp bristles scarring my ankles. I knew this journey wouldn''t be easy, but really? How much shit must I endure to reach paradise? I sighed a brief moment of relief upon a gravel road on my horizon. I sprinted through the heap of greenery not having care of my body signalling to my brain over the pain I was in. A strike of lightning lit up the dark of night warning me of the cliff at the end of the path. My toes grew to a halt as they curled onto the edge. Thank god. Once the light of the sky dissipated the rain''s drizzle turned into a heavy downpour. My dress clung onto my body heavily dragging the soaked fabric alone in my strides. I ran to the side of the mountain to seek refuge from the storm''s winds but it merely intensified. My hair was drenched from the top of my pinned do to my scalp. Every part of my body felt limp and frozen to my toes. I swore I should have worn my shoes into my basket. I did not dare open my basket, not allowing my belongings to become as damp as my body.


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    The lightning began again with stronger force. Each white-like string lit up the night sky. The clash of thunder roared through my ears, the aftermath left a humming noise in my ears. My arm shook as with held my lantern in front of me to view the path curve along the rock of the mountain. I have been walking up this mountain for what I think was an hour. The night has become more dark in my journey. The greenery of the mountain seemed to turn sinister. The trees appeared the lightning struck them down the middle leaving charred remains. The little plants and flowers along the trail were decayed and shrivelled. Alone on the trail would frighten any man. To me it did quite frighten me, but, I was more frightened retreating to Media?. To go back in and allow my father to revel in my ''shame'' of attempting to run away. I shall prove him wrong. Show them all.


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    My exhaustion has taken over me completely, and my feet drug across through the mud. I could not fathom if the rain or my exhaustion was filling my eyes with tears. My eyes were glazed over, the blindness I occurred made me have no clue of the fairly large vine beneath my feet. My foot caught it falling onto my stomach. An oof sound escaped my lungs. The bones of my corset made a crunching noise. I took it slow trying to regain my balance, breathing in when necessary. I instructed my father not to purchase me a corset without bone. Did he listen? No. If any of the bones crack they can puncture a lung or cause major internal bleeding. No possession of the devil here. Real serious problems. My lantern extinguished in mere seconds when my body hit the mud. My breaths were shallow holding my ribs to protect my internal organs. I finally reached the top of the mountain, cursing at the damned vine that met my demise. Wiping away my tears retrieving my basket, I peered up to see a light on the top of the mountain become more large. I trotted slowly making sure to watch my body under the broken bones woven in the corset.


    My god. People? Perhaps they can help. Hopefully.


    The light I was following like a desperate fly was attached to a shed. I held out my hands putting all the pressure which once was on my ribs, laid onto the door. The door opened reluctantly with a high-pitched wail. The creaking of the door hinges echoed in my ears. The aroma of the wooden shed was stale and smelt of old books. Thick films of dust coated every piece of gardening tool. Possibly, I may retire here until the rain dissipates. I shut the door behind me catching hold of a pair of hand rake to break the strings running down the back of my corset. My other hand held onto the dust-filled table to keep my balance. The rake tore away the strings as I let a sigh of relief over the tremendous pressure leaving my back.


    "God damn you...blasted corset...you are the epitome of my existence. Women everywhere for that matter." I tossed the cage that held my body out of my sight breathing in heavily. My fingertips felt that of ice on the undergarment on my ribs. None seem to be badly injured, perhaps bruised but nothing out of place. I knelt beside sacks of seed. The burlap was warm under my skin. The worst part of this journey was beginning. The cold shakes throughout my body. The clatter of my teeth, my arms wouldn''t stop vibrating scratching my skin above the sack of seeds.


    After brief moments of my freezing body laying my damp head down, I hadn''t had a clue when I fell asleep. It wasn''t peaceful. It was unwarranted. Unwanted. As though something was telling me to get away. Crunches of branches with the crumpling of leaves rushed through the scenery surrounding the shed. The noise shot my body up.


    It''s my father! He gathered a rally of men to bring me back! Or Sir Thomas has come to take me for his man-child son!


    My feet are buried in dirt wishing to be planted like a tree. Strong roots holding me down. Holding down my principles. The shed door flew open with a gust of wind taking the piece of wood off the hinges. A black figure stood tall in the door frame. I shot up to my feet.


    "Umm...hello. I apologize for intruding...I was awaiting for the rain to stop." The soaked strands of hair clumped on the side of my face that was slept on. The tall figure said not a word. A hand crept out what was their black cloth clutching the side of the doorframe.


    "Come with me. Now."

 Castle Valeria

    "What possessed you to come up this mountain? No villager dares comes up this way. Are you utterly stupid?" The dark figure protested, swaying under the black cloth. The figure had a feminine sound under her thick Transylvanian accent. I myself was offended by her remark. I stomped behind her through the garden. "Not particularly, but when one must flee from a village she isn''t accustomed to, she must do as seen necessary. That doesn''t seem out of stupidity." She scoffed leading me up a labyrinth of a garden. "You? What must you flee from?" The figure steps clicked on the cobble stair steps. When I initially arrived on top of this mountain, I thought the shadow hiding the moon was a part of the rock, however, come to my realization. It was a castle. Nothing was lit in any window. Some entrances were boarded up.


    "What gives you the right to know why? You utterly know nothing about me however you judge under pretenses." The figure''s hand pushed open a door not boarded up as it led to something that resembled a kitchen. A few pots and pans arrayed with cobwebs in the corner of the room, and a bowl of rotted fruit near the door.


    "I have the right because if you do not give me a good enough reason why you are fleeing, I will shove you on the first horse back where ever the hell you came from." The figure removed the black cloak revealing a dark-haired woman. Her skin wasn''t pale, it was translucent. As though I can see through this woman. Her veins were dark purple on her neck to her hands. Her arms were covered in black sleeves leading into a flowy dress coming to her feet. A large tear as though she caught her dress on sheers came from her hip bone to her foot. It exposed her bare luminous thigh. I had to advert my gaze pairing my eyes to hers.


    "A marriage."


    "Ha! A marriage! What, he''s not a lord? Not good-looking enough for your high standards?" She moved two fingers in front of my face motioning me to follow her. I tip-toed behind her counting each time her dress swayed across the floor. I felt like I needed to argue with this woman but if realized if I did I would be shipped back to Media? indefinitely. "Not in the slightest. Arthur Thomas is a child in an almost 30-year-old man. He''s pathetic."


    "Pathetic? Really? Explain yourself...what do you call yourself?" This statuesque woman led me into what looked to be her study. It was as lavish as the Thomas mansion, but it wasn''t gaudy. It was as though she created history in these walls. Each window was covered in red silk fabric. I could see now why I could not see any light coming from the castle. Brown wood carvings up the fireplace, gold candle holders. Everything was gold and the shade of crimson.


    "Bella...Bella Donna."


    "Bella Donna?...Hm..Tu parli italiano?"


    "S¨¬, mia madre era italiana."


    "You forgot one distinctive question, Bella. Why do you not want to marry this ''man-child''?" She turned around facing me fully getting a look at her. She laid herself down on a dark red velvet lounge chair prompting her bare feet on the upholstery. Staring at her was like I was looking at the moon. Her face was bright with dark curves along her temple and cheekbones. Her eyes pierced into me while the log cracked behind us in the fire. "He isn''t my intellectual adversary. He supposes that women should be seen and not heard. He wants a version of his mother."


    "Doesn''t all men?" She joked pivoting her torso around extending her hand out for a large diamond-shaped vase full of a red liquid. Her fingertips grazed the glass not grasping it. I didn''t want her to overextend herself. I held the heavy vase once she grasped the gold chalice beside it. My hand began to tilt watching the thick red pour into the cup. She held two fingers up to stop me. I fixed my hand to place the vase down. "Very good. So what I''m hearing is you ran away to seek refuge? Where do you intend to run off to?" Her lips pursed the rim seeing the only colour on this woman was her drink.


    "I do not know frankly. Anywhere that will leave me in peace."


    "Is that all you desire? Peace? What would that detail Ms. Bella Donna?" Her long pale nail circled the rim of her gold chalice. I was on trial. I stood before this benevolent dark woman watching every move I made. Now, she was watching my every word. It was my fate on the line. "I want to live...somewhat alone in the middle of nowhere. To read to myself. No men, no societal pressure to befall upon me."


    "Oh? Well if that''s the case, do you think see societal pressure here? Any men? I don''t see any." She adjusted her posture, crossing her colourless legs at her knees. Her hand let go of her chalice on the same table beside her chair that was deemed as a throne in my eyes.


    "What are you proposing my lady?" I raised an eyebrow as I placed my hands on either side of my dry hips. My hair was still damp but my gown was dry.


    "My lady? Hm-...I do enjoy that. I am proposing you live here in my castle. I suppose you can hide from this marriage you are running from. You can be my servant." She stood up from her chair meeting my gaze. Her eyes forcefully pierced into me. As if she was ripping me to shreds in her mind, her smirk was genuine but the dark of her castle matched her personality for the time being. "I-...do not wish to impose that burden upon you, my Lady." My confidence dwindled hiding my hands away behind my back. My eyes darted to the floor finally realizing this shadow of a woman was wearing tiny black heels underneath her tethered dress. Her nails dug under the dip of my jaw pulling me up to meet her gaze. The look on her face wasn''t sinister, it was reassuring. "Ever since I found you, you have already became a burden. However, I feel sympathetic to your issue. So I insist. Stay with me, Bella."


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    Was that supposed to be an insult? To take pity on me?


    I suppose it will be better than going back. I pray it''s better. "Thank you kindly, my lady. Lady?" I had the realization I will stay with this some will say a countess? A Lady? Without knowing her name. "Catherine. Catherine Valeria. You are instructed to call me Lady Valeria."


    "Yes, Lady Valeria." Her nails let go of my chin, turning her back to me. Swaying the hem of her dress around the wood floor.


    "Good start. If you haven''t realized I...have some...medical needs you must attend to." Catherine''s back was still in my vision as she pressed her index finger into her thumb.


    "Yes my lady, such as?" My hands had a mind of their own, intertwining my fingers in the clasp holding my hair up. The thickness of my hair broke free from the clip falling every way it could go. On to my shoulders, my back and large strands fell into my line of vision. I pushed the strands away from my face.


    "I have um...a deficiency you call it now. Back when I was diagnosed, it was called the disease of the blood. I cannot be exposed to sunlight. I break in burns. I need this medicine every day. I grow irritable and weak if not given my dose a day."


    "Oh-..okay."


    "And since I have this deficiency, my other senses are heightened. With that, my sense of smell is bothered by the smell of you. I will show you to your room and the tub. I cannot have you walking around my castle smelling that way." Catherine''s body turned back to me showing a weirdly cunning smile. Her shoulder brushed mine, making me take a step back. "I beg your pardon? What smell prey tell do you detect?" I was offended by that remark. Surely, I may smell like a burlap sack but that doesn''t mean to demean me. Catherine laughed under her breath, twisting her head back to me. "The smell of outside Bella. I could break out in spots just from the grain field you were in."


    How in the hell did she know where I was? How did she know I was in a grain field?


    "Very well, I suppose if it''s due to your medical condition. Then I do what is needed."


    "Good, come. Follow me."


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    The castle was larger than I initially thought. We left her study in a dark hall coated in wood. Wood carvings of cherubs followed our every move. It was as though a ravaged animal tore through this hallway, large scratches into the little clusters of cherubs torn into the wood. Some missing their heads. We turned right from the hallway into the foyer. The entrance to the castle. A large staircase stood in the middle of the foyer. Red carpet encased these steps snugly, and the railing was coated in gold paint. Carvings of two lions are protected on each end of the staircase.


    "You just left my study which is to the right of the stairs. On the left is the dining room. Behind the stairs is the kitchen. You shall be introduced to Vadoma soon. She''s a good cook but a good housekeeper would be a lie." Catherine took a step up the stairs running her index along the railing to a thin layer of dust. "You will try to keep your belongings in your room." I nodded behind her. She continued her stride up the stairs holding stern onto the railing. "And you will stay out of my room! And the west wing of the castle."


    "What''s in the west wing-"


    "Nothing for you!" She barked back echoing in the silence. Her eyes shot red through me. I halted leaning back for her hair not to hit my face. "No matter..." She turned her head back calming her senses. "Nothing of interest to you. I mind my privacy. If you disturb my privacy, I disturb you. You understand yes?"


    "Yes, Lady Valeria." I met her at the top of the stairs leading me to the left of the second floor. "Very well...as long as we have a mutual understanding then we will have no issues." At the top of the stairs was a dead bouquet of roses in a china pot. Her hand clutched on my wrist dragging me to the left of the second floor. Her other hand pushed open a door. A tub, a toilet and a wash bucket stood. Her grip tightened as she moved to the next door at the end of the hall. The door flew open to a dreary room painted black. An obscure wooden canopy bed sat solely in the room. Crimson cloth draped over the canopy covering the top. The headboard was carved in intricate flowers, sown in red fabric in the middle. A layer of dust covered the maroon counterpane, exposing the white linens. A large painting hung from the left of the room, it was rotted flowers and fruit in a cornucopia. The entire castle was full of eery depictions of the world. It must be the life of a shut-in. To see the world in rot and decay.


    "The room is to your liking? Has to be. This is your only option unless you want to go back to the rat-infested shed?" Rat infested!?!


    "N-no...this is fine! Thank you, my lady." My basket rubbed the skin of my forearm, the straw sunk into the foot of the bed. Lady Valeria leaned her arm in the doorframe, her eyes fixated at my feet raising her focus to my face.


    "Whatever. You must bathe. I cannot withstand any longer. I will leave you for the duration of the night. I sleep during the day. I mustn''t be disturbed, is that understood?" Her long nails dragged across the beam of the door frame, leaving behind 4 faint lines into the wood. It was as if Lady Catherine Valeria was the same colour everywhere. Bone, her skin was the same colour as any human bone. Or stone even. It would match her demeanour naturally. Stone cold to new guests but, by galivanting through my new home known as her castle, I have wondered frankly how many guests she has had in years. Perhaps, this is the reason she''s less formidable. Not the best welcoming or hospitable in the slightest.


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    The bathroom was something I would read about in futuristic novels. I thought to myself maybe someone was here. A plumber or someone in that field. I didn''t have to fetch water to boil for my bath, nor lay linen down so I may not burn my rump. On further inspection, I realized they had little handles. One was cold water, while the other ran scolding hot. I knelt on my knees observing this phenomenon.


    "Are you going to persist to play with the tabs or is this your first sight or water?" Catherine rested her body in the same motion in the bathroom doorframe. Catherine changed her clothes into a merlot silk robe. The fabric tied close to her waist not to allow any bit of her body to be shown, a peak of her thigh over the thresh hold was my only glimpse. "No...I just have never seen running water in a home before." I arose to my feet, moving the cotton of my undergown off my shoulders. The mirror beside the tub gave me the indication that Lady Valeria was growing tired of my games. She presented a sly smile while her eyes examined my unclothed skin as she scoffed in retaliation.


    "It''s the turn of the century...so I''ve heard. We must stay up with the times. Go on, the noise of the water running bugs my sleep. Goodnight Bella."


    "Goodnight my lady."

 The First Night

    I began to perform my duties in the early hours of the morning. Finishing them in the afternoon. I strolled throughout the castle in places I was permitted to enter. Lady Valeria was asleep. The rule was not to disturb her or else she will disturb me. How can she? She already disturbs me. Unless the unthinkable arises and the castle is in flames. Then I am permitted to disturb her slumber.


    How can one sleep the day away? What fun does she possess in the dark? Illness or not. Perhaps the reason she is sick is living in the dust-filled castle. That may be the benefactor.


    Curiosity overcame me. I drug my body against the walls of the hallway to not allow any of the floorboards to make a peep. Valeria kept her door askew. It was as though she was taunting me. Seeing if I may or may not obey her rules. She said I cannot wake her, nor go into her room. Although, she said nothing about peering in from the door frame. My feet scuffed the wood a tiny noise broke the silence. My heart stopped. I was an inch away from her doorframe. The shadow of Lady Valeria''s body was engulfed by red silk sheets. Her canopy over the bed matched the sheets whereas the wood of the bedframe was a dark colour. Not black but ebony. Rose''s carved into the wood of her bedframe. It was the same as the hallway. Thick and large scratches into the wood, destroying the rose pattern. Not scratches but cuts. The only black colour I noticed was the shape of her hair swept behind her head. A sound erupted, a low repetitive buzz. Perhaps the wind whistling throughout the castle? Is a window open?


    "You think watching me will get your work done?" Catherine murmured in her pillow. I was in a panic slamming her door shut. Sauntering down the stairs. Shit! Shit! My bare feet didn''t touch one step fully until they planted on the floor. Valeria swept a note under my door last night. It followed more rules about the castle.


    -Not to go into the undercroft


    -By any means, do not open any curtains/drapes during the day


    -All requests done by Catherine Valeria must be obeyed


    -Medicine must be poured every 4 hours. No exceptions.


    I suppose it will be another hour before the sunsets, and Catherine will be up. I haven''t had the slightest clue about what to call Catherine. I know she expects me to call her Lady Valeria, but it''s quite confusing in my mind. Lady Valeria? Valeria? Catherine? I cannot do heads or tails. I guess calling her anything in my mind what suffice. I don''t think her spending time in my mind is a burden, though, things I''ve thought of her would make god very disappointed.


    I picked up a feather duster, cleaning odd items that appeared to have a thick layer of dirt. I never imagined one individual would accumulate so much dust. I kept thinking maybe the matter of her illness isn''t acting like an owl in the night, it''s this dust. I was near the second set of stairs, the one Lady Valeria told me specifically not to enter. Picking up dust along the railing. I thought this banister was a grey colour, it was the same shade of brown as the main railing when I finished. My stomach dropped with each step I climbed. It wasn''t the fear of being caught by Catherine. It was a rather macabre feeling. A force pulling me closer to the top of the landing. Something wanted me up there. The question was, did I want to go there willingly? Two more steps awaited me, and more dusted begged me to remove. The thought made my skin crawl, my stomach empty; strangely I felt full.


    "What did I specifically say not to go? Hm?" My skin jumped off my body. A teary-eyed Catherine stood at the bottom of the flight in her robe. "I was merely dusting, Lady Valeria." I held out the feather duster to show the evidence. "I do not give a shit if you were ripping up the damn carpet! Come down, now!" Her voice erupted the silence echoed throughout the castle. The presence that once drug me closer dissipated. Like whatever wanted me grew fearful of her voice.


    I scurried down the hardwood. Meeting Catherine''s eye level. "I-I''m sorry-..."


    "Save it. Go, get my medicine. I feel as if I am to puke. I will be in my study." She adjusted her gown pulling the hem to cover her bare chest under her robe. I blushed upon notice. Catherine caught me from the side of her eye. She swept her long black hair up off her shoulders pinning it up. My feet ran into the study to a table where her medicine resided. I poured the red liquid into the glass. "Once I''m finished, you will clean my glass, Bella. Understood?" She laid down on her chair with her feet prompt. Some cynical grin painted Catherine''s face. Her eye colour looked the shade of crimson, but that wasn''t humanly possible. It was my imagination perhaps. Or discoloration from her just risen. Her smile was subtle curling on either side of her mouth. "Yes, my Lady." I stood before she held her cup, fully acknowledging her attitude. "Y-you slept well? You seem in good spirits." Her hand crept out of the sleeve of her robe. Her hand was more wide than mine but her fingers were mere bone. Skinny, pale. I swore her vein appeared grey. Her knuckles had some colour thank god. From friction or a fight. A peach cherry colour. Not bruised, more or less as though the only colour of Catherine Valeria was dancing around on her knuckles.


    "I did. Very peaceful. Until you disturbed me." I observed each finger on her hand hook to the thinnest part of the glass taking the rim to her lips. The liquid wasn''t consistent with water, or milk. It was a thickness I can never explain. Not as thick as honey but not water. How strange. How strange of a creature she is.


    "I-I do apologize my Lady..." I found a seat in the corner that was well-used. My body was exhausted from cleaning around the castle. All my body wanted to do was rest. "Did I say you can sit there?" She interrupted me. My back straightened turning back to face Catherine tracing her finger around the rim of the glass. "Uh-no. My Lady." The same cynical grin appeared pointing down to her feet.


    "Fine, if you must insist you sit. Kneel." Her feet tapped the floorboards before her. I glided to face Lady Valeria. I dropped down to my knees, and the tip of Valeria''s foot grazed my gown. "Very well."


    "Must you have an answer for everything? It''s becoming quite an annoyance."


    "It''s merely conversation. Why? Has it been eons since you had company?" She sipped again licking the corner of her mouth. "Perhaps, but I have never had someone so stubborn."


    "Ha. Well, this endeavour shouldn''t be one-sided now should it?" All of my weight leaned onto my hand. She sipped again licking the corner of her mouth.


    "Something like that Bella. Enough about me. Why did you, sound mind and body, come up this mountain?" Her foot nudged my knee aware of a sudden pain. Her body had no heat. It was as though she was cold as snow in the middle of December.


    "To be frank, I presume that if I reached the top perhaps I was able to see if there was another village or town I can resume my life in. Without persecution from my father for not complying with his arranged marriage. I had no clue you were up here." Lady Valeria found something amusing. A laugh escaped her lips through her glass taking another drawn-out sip of the remnants of her medicine. "I guess not. Why run? You seem knowledgeable enough to stand your ground."


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    "I know you are living under a rock. Or should I say above the rock, but women still cannot go against men. I may speak my mind all I please but all they see is breasts on a stick. If I had any other part they would listen." I was attentive to Catherines actions. Any slip up perhaps I will be struck or worse.


    "Now come off it. I may as you say ''live above the rock'' but I still do not subdue to men. Not women for that matter. I obey no masters. All of this you see before you yes, was provided by man but do see any? I think not. You and I are well aware you are not just breast on sticks." Her thick Romanian accent grew me wary to understand her fully. It will take me forever to conquer it.


    "I suppose, but is the answer to have no masters to hide from civilization? To not succumb to a mundane existence? You mustn''t have much fun around these hallowed halls." Her bone-white hand loosened its grasp on her cup lowering it down on the side table beside her chair. "Not solely, I do have some company every once in a while. Why? Do you think about leaving so soon?"


    "Well, you haven''t been such happy company. Someone who doesn''t have many people might have been gracious to be around others." I shuffled my knees across the wood relieving the friction. I may need spectacles, I swear Lady Valeria''s eye glowed red for a moment. In the mirror behind us, there was no reflection of her head. Perhaps she blended in with her chair. An optic allusion? Yes. So much wealth she has is bound to have such novelties. "Likewise. You would think someone who had nowhere else to go would be very grateful, a bystander such as myself, allowed to give her room and board. In exchange for not being shipped back to the village."


    "Don''t think I am not grateful Lady Valeria. I only question your hospitality to guests. You don''t seem like the cheery type." Valeria chuckled to herself loudly. "I guess I haven''t been forthcoming with you have I Bella? Well, that might change." Her back arched forward seizing my chin under her nails. "If you work with me that is." Her nail dug into the hollow pit of my jaw. "That is all I require."


    "I do believe it''s quite late Bella. You have replenished my medicine. You may leave for the night."


    "Thank you, my Lady."


    "Buona notte Bella Donna."


    "Buona notte..." I exited her study to the stairs. The same gut-wrenching feeling set my skin a fire. I was being watched. I stepped up to hold the railing in hand. I cocked over. A white iridescent figure danced along the west wing stairs. The same stairs I felt sick upon. Humming a tune.


    "Dancing bears....painted wings-...things I almost remember...." The figure sang in a shrill tone. The hairs on my arms raised. I froze in either fear or the cold presence of this mystery. It was a woman''s voice. No younger than myself. No face, hidden under a white veil. "Once upon a December-..." The figure left my line of version. The heat restores in my body. My grip loosened on the banister known to leave a mark. I couldn''t get that tune out of my mind.


    "Dancing bears...painted wings..things I almost remember...hmm...hm...hmm..." It was stuck like a good dream, or was this an omen? For things to come? A spiritual bad omen?


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    I tossed in this empty bed. The loneliness engulfed me this night. In the 18 years of my life, I have always slept alone. This night felt strange. As though I was the only one here. On my own. They only human in the creation. Catherine is human yes, but there is something very inhuman about her. Something morbid. Not human per se, more or less a beautiful creature. Not a woman. Even that white figure wasn''t human. Was it a spirit? An entity perhaps. The omen good nor bad is not a premonition. What is done is done. I''m here. If I had seen this omen before, maybe I wouldn''t have travelled up this mountain. I would retreat to London.


    My brain since shut down into a deep slumber, my body sunk into the soft creme-coloured sheets. The sparkle behind my eyes dissipated, just darkness. The mattress shifted in weight. I was mid-sleep with one blurry eye peeking open. I rotated my neck with a sense of something holding me down by my throat. Like a stone, trapping my airway. I could still breathe softly. The gown I sleep in was loose than other gowns I own. The heaviness of what was on my neck travelled down my back to render it bare.


    "Huh.." I tried to free myself by rolling over onto my back. The force wouldn''t allow me.


    "?nchide-l..." It was hands. Sharp cold hands. It reminded me of Catherine''s hands. Was it Catherine''s? They were forceful but delicate. No window was open even though there was a sense of a draft. It was in fact, Catherine Valeria. I can tell, her hair in the corner of my eye. Long horse black strands glided my pillow. It must be Catherine. Unless another dark-haired woman is living here I haven''t been acquainted to. "N-no.." I begged still under the heavy weight.


    My begging was for naught. Little noises escaped my lips, her firm press became stronger. To the point of pain. The pain intensified while an unfamiliarity occurred. Something pierced into my naked back. The sense of cold and heat fluctuated down to my backside. The pain was excruciating. Nothing I experienced. Is this what it feels like to be stabbed? It feels like it.


    "Valeria-.." I squeaked out begging for her to cease. Nothing availed, she was digging into my skin. She murmured under her breath as she growled out something else in Romanian. Something was running down my back as if she poured cold water down my spine. My hands were free though frozen in fear made them clingy to the sheets. I freed one hand grazing my bare back. I guessed it was blood. My blood. She was tearing me to shreds. I screamed into my pillow fearing the pain was too much to bare.


    Have I upset her? What deed have I done that this would be an acceptable punishment? To be torn up?


    "P-please!-.." I cried out, muster enough strength to flip myself around onto my back. It was in fact my Lady, Catherine Valeria. Nevertheless; she appeared different. It could have been the lighting, but she seemed to be darker. As though all of the shadows in the room decided to preside all over her body. The contrast of shades made her bare shoulders light, whereas her face and lower stomach were black. Her hair wasn''t in frame. A faint outline of her head''s shape. Catherine''s hands were covered in specks of my blood. She raised her hands to her face, flashing the crimson shade.


    "This will work." Her jagged teeth were exposed, salivating into her palm. One swipe of her tongue into her hand, wiping the blood away. "You work fine.." She growled lower leaping onto me. Catherine''s nails ripped through my throat. I couldn''t breathe. A whistle through the gash in my throat. "N-N-" I can''t move or speak at this moment as Valeria tore my ribcage apart. "This is all I wanted! You Bella!"


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    "No! No!" I jumped out of bed stuck to the sheets. My whole body was in a sweat. A pool dripping onto the floor. "Jesus Christ! For fuck sake!" I can''t catch my breath. My chest pounded, and my heart wanted to run away. Jump out of my ribs. My back ached. It was no more than a dream. A terrible, blood-crudling dream. I have never experienced such a visual dream in my life. Such a frightening sight. Why in gods name would my brain conjure that idea? Of Catherine Valeria eating me? Yes her medicine does resemble blood. Perhaps my brain did that association? Surely.


    "Bella! Bella!" Catherine shouted from a distance. Far from my room. I hesitated to call back, I still had her in my mind on top of my ripping my throat apart. "Um..yes my Lady?" My fingers regained feeling by pulling the handle open. "Get out here!" My feet grew cold on the floor. The sweat accumulated off my body was dissipating. I shuffled along the floor to meet Catherine. She stood at the bottom of the stairs. "What is the matter? You screamed?" Her body hunched over a banister.


    "Oh, I apologize, my Lady, for it was just a nightmare."


    "Come down. You are drenched. I cannot allow you to go back to your room. You will fall ill." I took each step from the stairs lightly. My body burned every move I took until I reached her at the bottom. The back of Catherine''s hand pressed against my forehead. I was taken aback, I just witnessed Catherine tear me apart, then she was playing doctor. "Shit, you are burning up. Come into the kitchen."


    Is this an act of her kindness? I may have hit a heartstring with Catherine Valeria. If her heart was in working order. Maybe, just maybe, this will be a glorious start to our work relationship.

 No Clock Castle

    I resided in the castle for an ordinary week. Well, not that ordinary in the sense of back in my father''s medical office. Can I hear myself? Living with an estranged woman alone is simply ordinary. Better than married to Arthur Thomas. Married to any man for that matter. I would rather blood-let someone with no disease. Anything would be better than the marriage.


    I was in the dining room, cleaning the silverware. I finished the glassware this morning and the plates. The bowls are in question. Either they remain somewhere high where my stature cannot reach, or Catherine Valeria had no bowls. I could not wrap my head around the notion. If I must keep all curtains closed. Why does Valeria sleep during the day? Surely whatever she does through the night can be completed in the daylight. It''s not like I can tell what time it is. There are no clocks anywhere to be found. No track of time in a quiet place tends to make a mind wander. I find myself often memorizing facts found in my father''s medical books. Reciting the textbook terminology.


    "Aneurysm, a ballooning of an artery caused by a weakened artery wall. Bright''s Disease, a kidney inflammation. Richard Bright, a colleague of my father in London described this condition as including inflammation and hardening of the kidneys, fullness and hardness of the pulse, and albuminuria. Catalepsy, seizure or a trance-like state." I finished the second row of glasses going down the alphabet of terms I have learned. I wished I had stolen the last medical book my father received in London before coming here. His collection is complete, though my collection stored in my mind wasn''t. If only I could go back. To sneak into his medical office and take the book. I would return it rest assured but being in that routine of learning has dwindled in this short weeks.


    I finished cleaning any utensils I got my paws on, promptly returning them to their newly clean storage. My sights were in the kitchen. All of my time has been dedicated to Valeria in her study. Either that or my room. After the incident with the west wing stairs, Valeria would shout to me from her room to inquire what I was getting up to.


    For a woman who values her sleep, she''s waking herself up every hour.


    The dining room and kitchen were two different sides of the castle. The entryway was between them. The main stairs were in the middle. My bare feet grew cold on the floors. To lead into the kitchen.


    "Bella? Bella!"


    "Yes, my Lady?" I halted in my tracks peering up past the stairs, staring at Catherine''s door. "What are you doing?" Her hand crept out of her door grasping the frame. She pulled herself out of her room, appearing in her nightgown. Her hair ratted from the back lifting her strands in the front of her face. "I''m going to the kitchen! No need to be awakened my lady, may I fetch your medicine now? Since you have risen." Valeria crawled down the stairs withholding herself down the banister. "That is needed. What were you planning in kitchen?" She stretched her arms above her head, letting her jaw project open yawning violently. "I have been cleaning the silver and glassware all morning. I guessed I might start next in the kitchen." I pushed the kitchen door open to find a massive cobweb greet us. "Oh, Jesus Christ!" I bent down to grab the broom to evade the dirt strings away. "You cook I suppose? You have grown quite thin this month." She yawned again as she leaned on a kitchen counter. "Haha! Surely, you may feel like you slept for eternity but it hasn''t been a month." I exhaled a breath to blow away dust from the tall stack of newly found bowls in the sink. "Bella, you arrived to my castle in November. This is December. December 4th to be exact." She folded her arms neatly into her chest. I was in disbelief, how on earth would she know such a thing? "How does one know which month it is in this place? There are no clocks? No perception of time?" I lifted the bowls outside to take out to wash. The door was stuck, as a force was begging me not to go. Or it was simply jammed and I am overthinking again. In one final kick with my knee, the door halted. Some movement shook the wood against the metal.


    "Are you frightened of not knowing time? Fearful you are stuck with me? If you are ever wondering, I have a calendar in my study. It''s hidden behind my chair." Her bare feet tapped on the floor behind me, body pressed against one''s body. In another push, we both kicked the door open. Hinges in disrepair. "Not frightened of you my Lady, just fear of the unknown."


    She was correct, it snowed ferociously. A knee-high amount of snow. Untouched; only little tracks of paw prints on the side of the brick. "Is that what you fear? The unknown?" I couldn''t answer promptly still in disbelief it has been an entire month. When I arrived to this castle it was fall. Not winter!


    "Isn''t that what you fear Valeria? The unknown?" The snow sent my bare feet a shock. I shut the door back in place. Regaining feeling in my toes. "No child, the unknown is nothing to fear. There are greater things to fear than something unknown to the common man." She twirled a black strand with her index. "If you must know, the time is 4:35 pm. Almost dinner. You are instructed to prepare a meal for us."


    "Us?! Dinner?!" I inquired swirling my body around. She isn''t aware I cannot cook a thing. She should be grateful I can pour her medicine properly. "Of course! You must-...I mean..we must eat. Vadoma will not be back until spring, she visits her family. Until her return, you will prepare food. Is there a problem? Plenty of food in the cold box and pantry. Enough to feed a damn army the looks of it!" She opened the pantry door to see food. Breads, poultry and barrels of wine. "Knock yourself out. Have fun, Bella." Valeria left leading herself into the dining room. "Medicine now?"


    "Ah, no! Just bring it once you prepared food." She yawned again closing the dining room doors behind her.


    I was in a panic. Panophobia, that''s what it is. My nervous system is under attack. "What the bloody hell do I do? I cannot cook bread right let alone a damn meal!" I scurried around the kitchen thinking what I conjure up. "Soup! Even a simpleton can make that right?" I''ve gone mad! Absolutely mad. I''m talking to myself? I missed a month and began talking to myself? Bloody hell!


    ?©¤©¤©¤?   ???   ?©¤©¤©¤?


    Soup wasn''t hard. Water, poultry, vegetables and some greenery. All in one big cauldron. High heat with the wood and coals burning nicely. Perhaps I''m not a terrible cook after all once I am under great distress.


    "Bella! Are you still alive or do I have to come and save you?" Oh shit! Valeria! I forgot! She''s grown agitated not having her medicine. It''s been 25 minutes since she sat down. "Coming! Dinner is almost ready!" I scooped out a portion of soup in each clean bowl onto a tin tray with her medicine. I swear every time I open Catherine''s medicine, it reminds me of the smell of blood. The copper smell that has flooded my nostrils since I was small. I was around my father working on patients and my mother days before her illness succumbed to her. All it smelt of is blood. I suppose if it is to help her then why am I to point judgement? It''s just a smell.


    I ran out from the kitchen to the dining room. Catherine sat at the head of the table, leg over the arm of her chair. Her bare thigh exposed heated my cheeks almost dropping the tray. "Um..here we are." I dropped the tray before her giving her a bowl. "About damn time. Soup? That''s it? How long you were in there I guessed a six-meal dinner was to be served." She swiped a cloth napkin tossing it in her lap. Catherine Valeria was refined. Her back sat straight with her fork to the left and knives, and spoons to the right. Her medicine is to the right as well. "Um...no I apologize, I have never cooked before. I''m sorry if it isn''t up to your standards of a meal." I dragged the tray to the other side of the table until something caught my arm. "No, it will be fine. Sit next to me. I don''t want you far away."


    "Scared of me not in your proximity Valeria?"


    "No, don''t be silly. I grow cold. You waited too long to give me my medicine. I need body heat near me. Now eat before it is as cold as me." She was cold. Her hand let my arm go as I planted myself down in the seat beside herself. She took her first taste of soup. Her lips twitched, she switched from a spoon to her glass. I picked up my spoon taking a sip of the broth. "Oh no!" I gagged rubbing my tongue on the roof of my mouth. Catherine laughed in rebuddle. "Haha! It''s fine. It''s edible...somewhat. All I can say is it keeps us warm." She sipped the broth again trying not to make a face. "You call this edible? I knew I should have added salt."


    "Salt! Haha! You need more than that Bell. You need to scrap the whole pot! Now eat your shit...I mean soup!" She giggled as though she was a small child. In this so-called month, I have never heard such a thing from her lips. With a laugh such as this, it''s as though she is becoming more human. "Shut it! You asked me to cook, not you." I retorted in protest. "I told you I have never cooked."


    "Ha! Perhaps your mother taught you anything?"


    "No, unfortunately, my mother died before she could teach me womanly things."


    "I am sorry I asked. Cooking shouldn''t just be up to women, can it? What of your father?"


    "My father didn''t cook much. We always had an old widower give us freshly made food for my family after she passed. He never remarried. Still loved her."


    "How sweet. How old were you when she died?"


    "17. A year ago. By the time she was ready to teach me, the black death caught her."


    "The black death? What infliction is that?"


    "So it is true? Romanians don''t have the black death?"


    "Perhaps the whole country may know, but like you said, I live upon a rock. I''m the last to know. Intrigue me."


    "My father calls it a pandemic. It has spread throughout London and Italy. People think it''s God''s wrath. My father and I have theorized that perhaps with everything about exploration into new the world, that possibly ships may have carried disease. Further to the fact that men are dirtier than women. Gross men with no soap on a dirty boat can cause a massive death toll. I think it''s rats. Filthy creatures."


    "Ah, I see. What are the symptoms of this pandemic?"


    "If I remember correctly fever, headache, chills, and weakness and one or more swollen, painful lymph nodes. Usually, victims of the plague will last 2 to 7 days.  Then their body must be burnt to prevent the spread. That''s why London was a hotspot for death. No one believed my father and decided to pile the dead in the middle of town square."


    "The plague? Black death? Too many names for the sickness Bell."


    "I am aware, that different people call it different things. Men of knowledge call it sickness, whereas men who blindly follow faith call it our damnation." It wasn''t very forthcoming for a woman to slouch, let alone to lean my elbow on the table.


    "Blindly? You think following faith is that?" Valeria pushed her soup forward away from her coddling her drink. "Have I offended you, my Lady?" The way she furrowed her brow at my remark made my skin want to leap off my bones. "No, not in the slightest. I never hear someone with the same outlook on religion as I." She sipped again wiping away the access from her inner corner. "It''s refreshing actually. Religion leads one to become a sacrificial lamb. Pitiful when no one has any characteristic but bowing to God."


    Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    "You are correct. Everyone must have a sense of individuality. They must. We cannot go through life to come out the same person." I finished the last spoonful of my terrible attempt at soup. "Agreed. Bell, fix me another drink, will you? Please?" Please? Catherine Valeria saying please? My heart fluttered. Why is that? A woman who seems to hate me, the feeling not mutual but more not sure. Depending on the day. Showing more of her compassionate side. "Bell? You seem in a good mood for once. That name sticking?" I got up from my chair to whisk Catherine and my bowl away from the dining room to head to the kitchen. Catherine followed behind with her empty glass. "Oh perhaps. If you wish for me to remain in this mood then you have to clean my glass too." We both pushed the kitchen door open simultaneously. "Of course my lady. I must fetch water. I will return." I tossed the bowls into the wash basin over the burnt coals and wood. By the time I fetch enough water in the bucket and return the basin will be warm enough to tend to the dishes.


    The well was five feet away from the backdoor. My shoes were in my room, no more use if I hadn''t gone out in a month. I leaped into the snow feet first with my dress dragging snow. I tret through bucket in hand. I jumped through a foot of snow to the well. Being stuck in the warmth of the castle has made me accustomed to finer things. Such as heat from a fire that seems never to go out. Warmth. All my mind was promising me once the task at hand was finished. The rope in the well was frozen with sharp icicles overhang. Every move made them drop into the water. At least I was thankful the water was not frozen.


    I hurried back to the kitchen with little to no feeling in my feet. Catherine stood in the doorframe with her arms folded. "You are utterly mad! Insane! You want to fall ill?!" She dragged me back in almost making me drop the bucket. "I was only out for a minute. Calm down!"


    "Calm down?! How in the fuck am I to remain calm! You are chattering! Where is your coat? Your shoes?" Her grip on my arm tightened lifting my feet off the ground throwing me near the basin. "I am fine my Lady, I was out for a minute! I haven''t left the comforts of your warm castle in a month after all. Not a cold night since I came here. Except one." I stood in front of her pouring the water into the warm basin. The stream created from ice cold to hot water warmed my cheeks. Surprisingly, Catherine''s hands were warm across my shoulders. She huffed regaining her once calm mood. "Only one night? I''m surprised. It becomes rather cold in the winter months. How did you come to have these marks? They are new?" Her Romanian accent came out in any question she inquired of. Her index tranced a thick line across the width of my shoulders, along my back.


    "Marks? I had a nightmare a few days ago. I swore that was a dream.." I caressed my neck with the lines under my fingers. I cleaned our dishes with a rag and some soap made of lye. I made some the previous night for the occasion.


    "Self-inflicted. You mustn''t realize you were scratching in your sleep. You have nightmares often?"


    "Don''t you? They come and go, like the passing season." The cutlery was done, as were the bowls. I turn away from the basin to meet Catherine''s gaze. Naturally looking into one''s eyes will most likely indicate one to either move or to say something. "No...not anymore. I have seen worse than what your nightmares may conjure." She had me in her view, moving only her breath. "May I pass? I ideally would like to finish before bed." Valeria took a stride away from me allowing me to pass her to the cupboard. "Are you uncomfortable with me Bella?" Her voice grew low in a whisper. I turned my back to face her. Her body what was once a grey shadow lit up by the light illuminating from outside of the kitchen. "No. I''m not. Why would say that?"


    "I told you Bell, all my senses are heightened. Your heartbeat is erratic. I''m going deaf over how loud it is. You are nervous. By me? Being close to you?" Heightened senses? One tends to forget her illness has effects. "Maybe I am, it''s not every day the Lady of the house watches you clean so tentatively." My hands became clamy as I spoke truthfully. I''m normally more confident when speaking to others but Catherine Valeria is a different sort. A different kind of woman. "So the issue is me watching you? You don''t like to be watched? Or is it me?"


    "Being watched. That''s the issue. Not you Catherine...I mean Lady Valeria!" I froze with no intention to speak for the duration of the night. She laughed as she stood up straight. "Haha, we''ll have to fix that another day. I''ll leave you for the night. Goodnight Bell." She took a step in front of me, as she reached around my body to grab the heart-shaped glass full of her medicine. Her other hand rested on my hip. Her hand left my body retreating out of the kitchen. It still felt her hand still resided there. "Goodnight my Lady."


    ?©¤©¤©¤?   ???   ?©¤©¤©¤?


    Catherine was silent the rest of the night. I was too. It felt as though I built a wall around myself the moment Catherine was opening up.


    How could I do that? This is what I wanted. Right? For her to be friendly. She was trying her best.


    I didn''t go to bed quite yet. My bed wasn''t my real bed. A bed I was given yes, but didn''t feel like home. She had rules over where I can or cannot wonder. If I have stayed in this castle for a month as she said, then I should be allowed to roam. If this castle has to be called my home, I believe I should know every square inch. That''s the end of it. End of this charade of only this part of the castle. One must explore far and untouched lands. Even if it is just new rooms. I did not dare go near the west wing stairs. The chill overcame me when I went near those stairs, I will not venture there. Ever.


    At the end of the hall was my room, the other end was Catherine''s. To the right of my room was the bathroom. There is another door to the left. I never asked what was in there. I always thought it was another bedroom. I silently rotated the door handle, looking behind me to Catherine''s room. It was unlocked, and the door opened to greet me with a flight of stairs. Covered in cobwebs; the stairs were narrow leading up with no light source. It was foolish of me, not to run back to my room to bring a candle with me. Anything could be up there. A savage beast? The girl in white? Catherine''s previous servants? No, I mustn''t think of these thoughts. My feet led me faster than my mind. I crept up the stairs to the realization that this flight was not only narrow but steep as well. With each step becoming more small once I reach the top. No door awaited for me at the top. It was an open floor plan. Nothing was in here. It was a room to connect two hallways. The stairs were in the middle of the room. I peered over to the left hall, upon further inspection the right hallway was the best choice to take. The left was dark not seeing no sign of life. Whereas the right had light fixtures along the hall well lit.


    Catherine''s rules didn''t clarify anything about this part of the castle. Which, in hindsight, means if one stumbles upon an ''open'' door, then I am permitted to wonder.


    The hallway smelt of honeysuckle. I haven''t smelt honeysuckle since I was a child. It was a fond memory. The smell of my childhood. Back to our summer home in the countryside. Playing hide and seek in honeysuckle bushes with my brothers, pulling apart the strands to lick the sweet taste. A memory, in which my mom was still alive. I tend to forget the good memories of her and reminisce over the bad memories of her.


    "Oh my god..." In my imagination, I dream of this. I have never imagined I would ever see this with my own eyes. A library. A massive library. Books as far as the eye could see. I could spend days reading the titles. Each bookcase had a ladder on wheels. I was in awe. I ran to the first bookshelf pulling out the first book that caught my eye.


    Gulliver''s Travels. Read it.


    The Monk. Read it.


    Evelina. Hm? It seems promising. A young woman navigating through civilization. Perhaps it is a foretelling of my life? Then again, it could be a foretell my downfall. The red upholstered chairs stood still in the middle of the library alluring me to hunker down to curl up to begin to read. My senses were startled by the change of wood to a black and red carpet. The fireplace had a singular lump of wood. Not lit, still with remnants of charcoal fell off creating an echo throughout the room. I am finally able to prompt my feet up, the only time I was allowed to rest was when I slept. Since Catherine and I had our little talk, she appeared that I had upset her somehow.


    A bump across the hall frightened me whilst I finished the first chapter. It was human nature to investigate, however knowing what I know about this castle. Maybe Catherine Valeria''s rules weren''t to restrict me, but more to protect me. I pretend to think nothing of it continuing the following chapter. Until the thump grew loud. The sound rattled the room causing the books to quiver. I shot up from the cushion grooves, my knees buckled with my feet trembling from the vibration.


    Could it be the woman in white again? I fathom whether to explore further or to remain in my private paradise. There is a door after all, I can simply lock it and pretend I heard no noise. This damn decision is doing my brain in. A part of me wanted to leap out into the unknown but the other part of me still feared the unknown. Unknown of being hurt, scared or hell, killed. I crept further to the door. No singing; no sign of white flowing through the air. Another noise rang throughout with another shift in the hall. It appeared to be a tall black figure in a dress. Its skin glow illuminated through the half-cocked door. Was it another omen? Another spirit. Spirits cannot harm? Can they? Or is it another fairytale I told myself? Only time will tell. I tip-toed down the hall, an inch from the door. Laughter erodes behind the door, with another thud.


    I know that laugh. It''s Catherine''s.


    I pushed the open door further, Catherine''s back faced me as she stumbled alone against a table. Portraits of people hung around the room. Any wall in the room was covered in dust-filled portraits. Family? Her family? Her husbands? If she had a husband that is. She did say a man built this castle.


    "F-fuck..you all left me or had the luxury to die! Fucking idiots all of you!" She slurred spinning her head to the ceiling. Her medicine was empty, she was finishing off a bottle of red wine next with the same amount of dust as the portraits. She was drunk. Her cheeks had some colour of rose. As her chest grew a blotch pink. The first time I had seen colour on her. "Miss Bella Donna! Happy of you to join us!" She stumbled to regain her composure attempting to stand straight. "We were just having a chat!" She shouted as her arms flung out. "I''m sorry my Lady to disturb you."


    "Oh hell no! No disturbance here haha!" Catherine''s voice echoed throughout. "Just reminiscing that is all!" She smiled allowing her pointed canines to appear under her top lip. Being in the medical field with my father, I often saw different alignments of teeth. Even having to do extractions alongside my father. I have never noticed the shape or cleanliness of her teeth. It was as if she had pearls in her mouth. More white than her skin. Mine are clean, yes, but the pearl white has long since faded from my formative years. Still in good health.


    "Reminiscing? Are these your relatives? People who have once lived in this castle?" I hid my hands behind my back in fear I would be scolded to come up here and read her library. "Oh yes! Some are my family, and my ex-husband''s family. His mother was insufferable! L-lemme tell you! All long gone thank god...haha! Nevermind! What brings you here?" She slurred as she shrugs her shoulders to bring the wine bottle up to her lips. She was sloppy drinking her wine. It made me chuckle to see Catherine Valeria in this new light. She drank her medicine with such precision, such poise, in this light she''s a mess of a drunk. "Oh, I heard strange noises. The door was wide open so I came to investigate." Catherine smiled as if she was a small child leaning her body weight over a wood table. "Y-y-you...You''re always investigating...y-you''re going to find something you won''t like Bell...Oh! Come! I want to show you something! I-It will pique your intellectual interest." She mumbled babying her bottle in her arms. Her hand reached out taking my empty one to pull me out of this place into the hallway. The length of her dress dragged along the floor longer than regular occasions, until I came to my senses to find Catherine was barefoot still. Her hand twitched that held mine causing our grasp to jerk. Catherine''s body swayed trying to remain in a straight line down the hall to the library.


    "Ta-da! A library! Y-y-you may read if you wish once your duties are finished." She overlapped her foot over the other to collapse onto the canap¨¦ where I once sat. I threw the book on a ledge to attend to my Lady. She giggled as I was in fear she was injured. "Are you alright my Lady?" I held out my hand racing around the red upholstered four-seater.


    "Y-yes..I''m alright.." She rolled over onto her back, her dark hair contrasted with the shade of the vermillion fabric. Her hand shook raising the rest of the red wine to her lips. Her jaw cracked open allowing the fluid to drip into her mouth. "Fantastic. Perhaps you''ve had enough to drink tonight. You think?" My hand reached across her chest to grab the bottle away from her. Though, not even a sip remains. It will not make a difference. Her hand stopped me, intertwining her fingers in mine. "Hm?... What are you trying to do? I suppose I''m left defenceless. Bare to you." She appeared with a drunken smile. Stroking the inside skin between my index and thumb. Catherine''s eyes fluttered shut back to open trying her damnest to stay awake.


    "Not at the very least. I will bid you a goodnight Lady Valeria." I hushed into a whisper as I bent my knees down to meet Catherine''s gaze. "Catherine." She hummed letting my hand drop. "Sorry?" I grew wary but thought nothing of it from her drunken state. "Call me Catherine. No more formal pleasantries. You live here too."


    "Very well, goodnight Catherine."


    "Sleep well Bell. R-rest assured, no nightmares tonight. I am too tired to play." I got up to leave Catherine in the library to sleep. I made it out of the doorframe until I realized something she previously said was more sinister than I registered in my mind.


    No nightmares tonight? She''s tired? What the hell?...

 Talk of the Village

    I arose from my bed later than my usual time. I felt extremely fatigued since I stayed awake late at night. Was it last night? Was it a week ago? I have no idea. Hell, I could be the one sleeping for weeks at a time. Not Catherine.


    Speaking of the devil, I fixed my dress over my gown tying the small corset strings in the back walking out the door to my room. I met Catherine as she dragged herself down the narrow stairs from where I left her. In the library. She was visibly sick from her furrowed brows and squinted eyes from the lamps. "Mm...? Good morning Bella." I fiddled with the strings having some trouble tying it into a bow. "Good morning my Lady. Did you sleep well in the library?" My hair blinded my vision as I stared at Catherine through my curls. "Oh? So that wasn''t a dream? You were upstairs huh? I did not sleep well. I need a hot bath and my medicine." She yawned stretching her arms behind her head. Catherine stayed silent as I pitifully tied my dress up. "Jesus, here. Bella come. I''m surprised you lived this long if you cannot tie a simple bow." She grabbed hold of my shoulders flipping me around, shooing my hands away from my back. She tightened the back tying the strings into a bow with no effort or thought. "There. That was sad to watch."


    "I almost had it before you intervened, but thank you." I huffed cocking my head back to see the exhausted woman smile. "Sure, keep telling yourself that Bell. Go get my bath prepared and my medicine ready. I''ll be in my room." Her hand patted my head passing me down the hall to her room. "Yes, my Lady." I nodded pattering down the stairs. "What did I say last night Bell?" She stopped before she opened her bedroom door. "What of?" I halted in the middle of the staircase peering back. "Catherine. Call me Catherine. Enough with the lady bullshit." She groaned in a whisper in caution to lower our voices. "Yes, Catherine." Her eyes shut slowly nodding in agreement. I ran down the entryway to the kitchen. A barrel of her medicine stood behind the door. Until I realized her heart-shaped pitcher still resided upstairs in the empty room of paintings. It was the last time I saw it. I ran back upstairs to the bathroom running the hot water in the tub. My mind raced around my skull as if my brain became detached from the cord just bobbing around. I was running around like a chicken with its head chopped off.


    By the time I ran up to the second set of stairs, retrieved her pitcher to fill it. Catherine''s bath was ready. I cut the water off testing the warmth with my hand. It was hot. "Catherine!" I shouted out to her before realizing she was behind me. "No need to yell! What is it?" She held her temples wearing nothing but an open robe. "Oh, I''m sorry. Your bath is ready, you may have to wait. It may be too hot." She pinned her hair up away from her shoulders. "It is fine. I need this. My medicine?" Catherine dropped her robe on the tile, lifting a leg into the shallow tub. I froze peering down at the same tile. Every inch of Catherine''s body was pale, her thighs glowed, her ass seemed soft, and her back was unblemished with not a flaw in sight. Her arms on the other hand told a much different story. Above her elbows were thick white scars. Like an illusion. Her skin was pale enough to mask the lines but in the city light, it appeared more apparent. The water sloshed as Catherine sat herself down. She laughed to herself leaning her back against the tub. "Ha! Never been in front of a naked woman Bell? Uncomfortable?"


    "N-no! Just surprised. For someone who is very private, I would have expect you to ask me to leave." I peered up finally with Catherine''s enticing body hidden under the water. Her eyes never left my body, her dark pupils pierced into my being. Like Catherine was seeing through me. "I suppose I am a recluse, however, I do think since you are going to be living with me, one should make the effort to open up." Her body sunk further into the tub rolling her ankle over the edge at the end of the bathtub.


    "I would appreciate that Catherine."


    "Good. I''m glad we have a mutual understanding. Do not make me regret my decision. You can go make breakfast now. Or try to attempt." She lifted her glass to her lips drinking slowly. She put it back in its place. "Very humerous." My eyes rolled back into my head, finally escaping the bathroom down the stairs to the kitchen.


    Four loaves of bread were rotted and 3 eggs were safe. I had to force myself to throw out the food in the pantry. It pained me to dispose of so much food but without proper storage, all fresh food will naturally rot. 2 slabs of meat were only left for dinner after I went through the cold cupboard and pantry. Frankly, I do not care if Catherine becomes upset, I refuse to expose myself to ergot or any other illness from spoiled food. The coals were heatened under the stove as I mustered my strength to lift the skillet on top over the heat. My strength was moderate but staying in this castle, doing nothing that included manual labour has made me weak. I cracked each egg, the rapid speed of the watery yolk inside turning white amazed me. I cracked the last egg accidentally dropping a shell in the inner corner of the pan. Rationally, I knew I shouldn''t pick it but instantly I reached down dragging my nail into the corner of the pan.


    "Ow! Shit!" I retrieved the shell under my nail, I dumbly thought the skillet was not as hot as it was. It burnt the tip of my index. It did not hurt as bad as I reacted, the reaction was merely the sense of shock. The skin on the tip of my index smoked, a red distorted circle began to form. "Bella? Everything okay?" Catherine appeared behind me from the kitchen door. She wore the same ripped black dress with the same colour heels. "Yeah, it is fine. It appears I do know how to make breakfast, but cracking eggs isn''t my specialty." My back turned not knowing Catherine was immediately behind my body. I bumped into her babying my burnt finger. "Oh, so you''ve burnt yourself? I figured you were not a good cook that is why I came down." Her fingers grasped mine inspecting my injury. "Oh, all it is a minor burn. Nothing fatal. No b-blood...Here." She raised my hand closer to herself, pecking my finger. "There. I do not see an issue any longer. You suppose you can continue with breakfast?" My cheeks heatened peering down at the floor. "Perhaps my La-...Catherine. All of the perishable food has rotted. We need meat." I turned back regaining my confidence back.


    "No way in hell! Vadoma said we would have enough food...oh fuck...out of wine too. Well, I guess someone will have to go into town." Upon further inspection, Catherine opened the cold cupboard and the pantry to find it bare with the rotted food in a bin. "Is there a town on either side of the mountain?" I flipped the eggs dashing some seasons before throwing the bread on the oiled pan. "Haha no, unfortunately. You would have to go to Media?."


    "Me? Why me? The reason I came here is to run from Media? not go back."


    "Do you intend you...I mean us to starve?" Catherine opened another door where the plates and bowls were stored to retrieve two saucer plates. "No, but you can go." Catherine let out a loud laugh echoing throughout the kitchen handing me the plates in her hand. "Are you daft? You remember what I told you? I cannot go out in the day. The shops will be closed at nightfall. Shallow your pride and go to Media?. After breakfast, you will be on your way. Damn it to hell, no butter either?"


    "Sorry, used the last bit to fry the eggs. Fine. Will I be accompanied? To ensure my safety back to the castle?"


    "No, I''ll give you something else. A marking to tell that you are mine."


    "Yours! I am no one''s property!" My brow raised in Catherine''s direction. "Yes, I am well aware. Someone would be foolish to try to condemn you, but, if you wish to come back to the castle then you need something or else the men will round you up back to the boy you are forced the marry." Catherine walked with me shoulder to shoulder into the dining room, carrying a tray of our breakfast and a refill of Valeria''s medicine.


    "Very well, when you put it that way then any distinction will suffice."


    "Glad you see it my way."


    ?©¤©¤©¤? ??? ?©¤©¤©¤?


    We finished breakfast with our usual pleasant conversation. Speaking of queen and state, what in our opinion men should do for women. The usual. After breakfast was cleaned up, Catherine left for a brief moment to recover the marking. A necklace to be exact. A beautiful pendant. A long gold chain with a white face carved in it. "It is carved on the top of the silhouette." Catherine handed me the necklace. House of Valeria.


    "So, we need poultry, cow, bread and wine. Correct? Anything in particular you would like Catherine?"


    "No, not at the moment. Be back before dark, if you are not back by sunset I will hunt for you." Her voice lowered wanting to intimate me. I shrugged my shoulders feeling the sleeves of my dress fall. "I promise you, I will return." Catherine followed behind me as I took a basket out from the kitchen to the foray. "You''ll need these if you wish to come back." She dangled a ring with two keys jingling their tune while they clashed together. "I guess so." I reached out for the keys as her hand drew back. "Uh-uh. First, you need to know some things. I like red wine. Only red. Not port, not vermouth. Just red. The bigger key is for the front door, the smaller one is for the back door. Got it?" She threw the ring of keys towards me as my hands grasp caught them mid-air. "Yes, Catherine. Only red, got it." My feet had a mind of their own, darting off to the front doors. I unlatched the heavy lock on the inside pushing the hefty wood open. "Wait?... Catherine? Where is the snow? It was a heavy downfall last night." I was in disbelief. The snow which was up to my knees was nowhere to be seen. Not even a speckle of white powder strong enough to dampen the ground. Catherine took a longer stride hiding behind the door. "You are an intelligent woman Bella. You know that snow melts correct?"


    "Yes I do, but if it is December, shouldn''t the snow be half-melted? The cold would have frozen it all."


    "Bell, this is one thing I cannot explain. Sometimes there is snow here, sometimes it''s summer. Now go before you jinx us and have a flash flood. Go!" She playfully pushed my feet out the door. "Fine, fine, I am going! Don''t get your undergarments in a bunch!"


    "Watch it! Keep it up and I''ll change the locks." I chuckled hearing her voice fade away down the trail. I was wrong, the dirt below my bare feet was fairly moist, sinking each step I took as a placement in the trail. In the daytime, the trail down the mountain was not as frightening as one thought initially when one tracked up a month ago. The forest was calm. A strange silence. Nor a cricket nor a blade of grass made a singular disturbance. I felt as though I was being watched. It wasn''t Catherine surely, she could not follow me in the sunlight. Let alone I was protected by the marked necklace.


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    "I-I am protected-...belong to the House Valeria. Be gone!" My body froze as my shoulders tense. The black mass bolted threw the brush. Rushing towards my being. My bones wanted to leap but fear held me stiff in dirt. My weight was burying me down into the earth.


    "Meow!"


    A ball of black fur with pointed ears appeared at my feet. A pregnant cat purred, rubbing its body against my ankles. "Awe you poor thing. You are a long way from home mama." I bent down petting this beautiful creature''s head. "A friendly beast you are." She bent her neck up to allow me to scratch her chin. Her purrs buzzed violently rattling my hand. She was content with my presence. Perhaps, this poor mama has not had a gentle soul in sight. "How could such a beautiful animal bring bad luck hm? You are absolutely adorable! A soft softie." I picked this sweet fluff ball into my grasp. She did not complain letting out a quiet mew. My hand caressed this mama''s full underbelly with the feeling of the little lives growing within. Our eyes met, the mama cat''s eyes were as bright as the grass beneath us. She stared as though I was the only human she had ever encountered. Her eye lit like a candle a brighter shade of green. "Brr-reow!" With that little yelp, her claws came out leaping out of my arms. Her raised fluff tail raced up the trail to the castle. "Oh, bye mama." My senses have since calmed.


    How can I be spooked by a mere cat? Maybe I have been cooped up in the castle for too long.


    ?©¤©¤©¤? ??? ?©¤©¤©¤?


    Media? has not changed, after all, it has only been a month. I feel I have changed. For the better? For the worse? I have no clue. I take my life day by day. Not worrying about the future that was laid before me as soon I erupted from the womb. My feet slid off the edge of the mountain landing in a small blanket of snow. Funny isn''t it? The snow has since melted around the perimeter of the castle though, the village still had snow. The slate on the villager''s roofs was packed on the wood. My toes crunched up to remind myself I forgot my shoes yet again. I will bet Catherine will surely scold me once again.


    It was a small village so navigating around homes to the main street. Stares followed me as I trotted down the snow-covered cobblestone. The same group of elderly women I once met when I first arrived here passed me withholding their thick coats together. Their eyes dug into me letting out a few gasps and scoffs. Gossiping in Romanian is likely.


    "Good morrow, ladies." I waved pretending to be daft not knowing the pretenses of their dirty looks. I took a sharp right to the butcher shop.


    The little bell rang in the small shop, and a small crowd gathered near what appeared to be the butcher himself. My father always said never to trust a skinny butcher. This round man towered over the crowd boasting over the catch of the day. "Alright, you vultures! I will have to speak with the boy to see if there is enough trout for all of yous!" It must be Friday. Most churchgoers refuse to eat beef on specific days. I found that quite peculiar, you go to church on Sundays. You already have a day to waste in a cold brick house anyway, why limit what you eat? Who says what you can or cannot eat?


    The crowd dewindled leaving me and another woman. She may be older or the same age as me. Most women in this village wear neutral or black colours. The strawberry blonde was in a grape-coloured dress and a deep red overcoat. Her hair was pinned up in braids hooking up on the top of her head in a braided bun. "One carp, please. My mother-in-law will be cross if it is not fresh."


    "Rest assured Miss, my boy just caught''em this morn. What ''bout you Miss?" This man was not a jolly sight, he seemed ran down. He slouched over the table in my direction. "I need two slabs of beef and three full chickens if you please." Both parties'' eyes widened, the butcher laughed under his breath. "No fish? It is Thursday you know?"


    "I am well aware sir, but my Lady only requested me to come to the village for beef, and poultry. Nothing more." I threw my basket over as I presented the emptiness of the wicker. "Y-your lady? Beautiful as you are how can you be a servant?" The butcher''s eyes crept down my feet to my head. He turned his back to me wiping his hands in his apron. "That''s the point. My Lady doesn''t care if I am a beauty or not. She cares what I think, and I think you should get my order instead of swooning over me. I have no time for pleasantries. I have many shops to go to and no time."


    "Your husband does not mind your witted tongue? To speak to others in such a tone?" The blonde squeaked laying her hand on her chest. "I have no husband. I live for myself. You should reconsider your freedom before you speak. It shows how sheltered you are to others outlooks." The butcher came back around with five paper-wrapped bricks, dropping them into my basket. "A tongue the likes of yours will get you into some trouble. Wait, a stubborn beauty? You are Abe''s daughter correct? The runaway? Betsy?" My brows furrowed as my hand swiped my basket off the table. I was more offended that this man thought my name was Betsy over naming me a runaway. Which in actuality, that was the term for someone running away from their home.


    "Bella. Bella Donna. And yes, the Doctor is my father." I pulled out the heavy bag of shillings untying the string to pull out 4 shillings. "Good day to you both." My heels pivoted to the door. "You should be ashamed of yourself. Your father has not stopped searching for you." The blonde spoke up in a more disturbed tone.


    "I would be more ashamed if I stayed here. If I became an empty shell peacock like yourself. Pointing your nose in the air like you are worth something, but you''re not." I tore the door open allowing the snowy breeze to take me in the direction it blew.


    My father searched? He searched for me? Perhaps to bring me back to the Thomas mansion. The only thing he cares of is if I was to be married off. Since I was nowhere in sight, he lost his deal. That is all.


    The bakery was beside the butcher. I was quicker in there leaving for the tavern. The only place in the village whereas you can acquire liquor. I know for a fact that I will have to speak to Joe. The barkeep we previously met when we first arrived. He must have been quite friendly with my father after I left. All I wish is that there will not be any anger towards my decision to live my life. The tavern stood across from my father''s medical office, I pondered if any sort of villagers would be in during this time. It is not even the evening yet, but I know not. I opened the door as I heard the clash of drinks and a bunch of rambunctious yells from the opposite sex.


    "I dare say, I would rather kiss your cow than your wife! At least the cow holds some beauty! Haha!" A group gathered in the center of the tavern singing shanties and drinking back their ale.


    "Aye! Gents! Keep the ruckus down! I am not in the mood to mop the floor with yous!" Joe spoke up from the back of the bar cleaning mugs with a discoloured rag. "Haha! You seem the kinder sort, Mr. Joe." Joe stopped in his tracks disregarding his rag over his shoulder. "Bella? It is you?"


    "Yes, Joe. Last time I checked. I think you may need to acquire spectacles if see otherwise."


    "Ha! Your father spoke of the same. Where in hell have you been? Your father and I have searched for weeks looking for you."


    "So I have heard. I am only in the village for the day. My Lady requested me to come pick up red wine. It must be red. Not port, not vermouth. She will be very angry if I go back up the mountain with the wrong wine." My voice boomed throughout the tavern to hear myself over the songs of the men. I turned my head as I noticed it became quiet. "I am sorry Bella, I misheard you. Did you say your Lady? Up on the mountain?" The crowd''s eyes darted to me, awaiting a response. "Of course. I am a servant for the Lady Catherine Valeria." The men shrieked in horror arising from the chairs.


    "Vampirul!!"


    "Ea este blestemat?!" The men roared pointing fingers in a row towards me. I turned my body back to Joe with no intention to answer. "Joe? What the hell are they talking about? I''m not familiar with Romanian."


    "Catherine Valeria. Your Lady you serve on the hill. She''s a vampire. She''s lived up on that hill for centuries. My grandfather says her family and the Thomas family were the richest houses in Romania. Had was there when Catherine the Great was born."


    "What in the bloody hell are you going on about? Catherine is maybe 53 or 54 years old. That does not mean she is a vampire. It just means your poor town has a high mortality rate." I joked waiting for Joe just to grab the bottles of wine. He turned around with a wooden case of red wine. "No, no Bella. You don''t bring your intelligence into this. This is real. My grandfather told me the story. Catherine Valeria became a vampire the night of the annual Harvest Ball. She killed her husband and devoured her children. If Catherine claims she is 54, then she has been 54 for 125 years. You should be afraid." He dropped the crate on the table. The bottles rattled against each other.


    "You know, it''s quite humorous. The only person in Romania that cares for me and not my status is a goddamn vampire. Imagine that!" I laughed with no others joining in. Joe shook his head. "Don''t say I did not warn you."


    "Do you see her feed?" The men interrupted us.


    "She will ravage you! Lead you into hell hand in with the devil! Catherine Valeria is an abomination!"


    "They are only stating facts, Bella. In 125 years, over 40 young girls have gone missing. Only 20 girls have survived and told the tale. My grandmother was friends with her. She spoke of nightmares, deeply violent and in the sexual sense. Nightmares of Catherine ripping her flesh and doing unholy sexual acts."


    "Unholy eh?" I smirked with a raised brow.


    "Wipe that smirk off you! You know what I mean Bella Donna. Unholy acts. Homosexual acts between two women."


    "Oh no! I''m so scared! To live in a lavish castle with a lesbian? Oh, what a life! I would rather live in sin than in misery." I poured the rest of the shillings on the bar counter. "Enough of your jokes Joe, you behave. Tell my father I love him and I am safe. Farwell." I lifted the crate off the bar walking out without peering back. It was freeing.


    ?©¤©¤©¤? ??? ?©¤©¤©¤?


    The question remains. Is Catherine a vampire? The myths and legends about vampires are sparse. Drinking blood, only out in night, immortality, fangs. Only one was true. Her medical afflictions deem her admissible to venture outside in daylight. That does not condemn her as a vampire. Small minds tell tall tales.


    By the afternoon, I was half up on the trail dragging along my basket in the crate full of wine. Out of breath, I halted to take a moment to stop my eyes to see stars. "Dear lord...if this will not quench her thirst then I need a wagon." I dug my heels in the dirt to drag the crate to the castle.


    "Meow! Mee-ow!" The same black mama cat passed me on the trail. "What? Would you like to help mama?" This ball of fluff dropped onto her back revealing her fairly large belly. "Oh please mama, I can''t give you rubs I''m sorry. I have to get going." The mama purred rolling back onto her feet leaping into the crate. "Oh come on! This is already heavy as is. I don''t need you and your baby''s weight added." I went uphill to the flat surface of the castle gates. Lowering the crate to unlock the chains on the bars. The mama cat purred again in and out of a short nap. I finally mustered enough strength to lift the crate to walk into the back door. I unlocked the door to the kitchen to see Catherine waiting.


    "Oh, Catherine. I thought you would be asleep. Why are you up?" I dropped the crate as the mama cat stretched jumping out of the box. "I could not sleep. What is that doing in here?" Her long white nail pointed at the cat looking at her back to me. "I don''t know, she followed me down Media? this morning and followed me again coming back." Catherine''s eyes darkened. The same redish brown glowed directly at the mama cat, she let out a growl flashing a bright green colour back to her normal shade retreating out the door. "Little nuisance they are."


    "Cats are cute. Very soft and loveable creatures." I picked up the wicker basket to place the meats in the cold pantry. "Uh huh sure...little devils they are. Mountain lions in tiny form. How was going back to the village?" I stopped what I was doing slowly closing the pantry door. "Oh, it was fine. Very freeing. And quite hilarious actually."


    "How so?" Catherine yawned as she slammed the back door behind her, she passed me going out of the kitchen. "The townspeople know I''m working for you now, and claim you are a vampire! Haha! How stupid are they!"


    "Huh...yeah...haha. Very stupid."


    "Yes! They actually said you were not 54, but your 179-year-old vampire that were present of the birth of Catherine The Great! This is why men and women need to attend more schooling past 10 years old." I giggled following after her. She laughed under her breath.


    "May 2nd, 1729. That was a good summer."


    "Huh?"


    "Haha! Nothing! I was pestering you, go dust. You are allowed to spend the rest of the day in the library when you''re done." Catherine''s body swayed making her way up the stairs to her room. "And be quiet!"

 Formidable Familiars

    Pfft...am I ever exhausted. For doing nothing but clean these damned glass windows. By the time I am finished, these windows will shine effortlessly. It wasn''t effortlessly, my wrists ached. This castle was strange indeed. It was once winter, the leaves had fallen with a thickly white sheet laid on the earth. Yet, today it is the look of spring. It was a week for godsake! How is this scientifically possible?


    My hair appeared to have grown an inch since last I noticed. I could sit on my own hair on my bottom. It was unmanageable. The natural curl remained but the frizz puffed on top of my skull. It was time for a trim. My father was a doctor but cutting hair wasn''t his specialty. I got down off a dining room chair with a soapy bucket in hand. Catherine was still in her room throughout the day. I never know fully if she is asleep or if she''s just stirring about. I have never stepped foot in her room. I have taken a peek inside but have never looked fully. Perhaps she has a desk, or her own personal library. Books she would not dare place in the castle library.


    Books about vampirism? Lesbianism?....Haha! The idiocy of small-minded villagers. She''s not a vampire. Homoeroticism on the other hand is still under question. She did say she had a husband, but people can change. Am I afraid of homosexuals? No. Would I ever participate in such activities? Perhaps. I suppose I do find women more conventionally attractive, yes, though morally I perceived it as wrong. Not the fact it is a crime against god that I never believed but never illegal. It''s more or less frowned upon. Catherine is a cold-tempered woman however she''s very picturesque. Her inner workings are still human. Her body built like the painting of Venus.


    I had to stop thinking of the Lady in this manner. My cheeks warmed just at the thought of Catherine''s pearl body slinking in the tub. I kicked open the back door throwing the suddsy water out onto the green-grown grass. I slammed the door behind me to place the bucket in its original place. Still, in my thoughts of Catherine, I could not shake the feeling of either excitement or unease of finding out if Catherine was or was not a lesbian. It could make our relationship uncomfortable.


    Perhaps make a letter? A poem? Yes. Create a poem. Write it and say it is from the front door. I ran to Catherine''s office to grab a piece of paper plobbing myself down in Catherine''s chair. Quill and ink in hand. Scribbling poems that never stuck. None of them were good enough for Catherine''s eyes. Until one simple poem I wrote made me happy enough to share with her.


    ''All this time, I believed with all that I would find you.'' I fold the small piece of paper into a small envelope. I exited out of her office to the front door silently unlocking the door, opening it for a moment then slamming it.


    "Bella? Bella!" Catherine''s door shrieked open. Her loud feet stomped on the floor to the top of the staircase. "Yes, Catherine?" My fingers trembled concealing the envelope behind my back. "What were you doing? Why are you slamming the door?"


    "Oh, I apologize, there was a letter carrier at the door. Did you not hear the knocks?"


    "A letter carrier? Why in the hell are they up here? I get no letters anymore."


    "Well, he had a letter for you." My hand quivered presenting the small envelope going up the stairs to meet Catherine. Her hand came out of her robe snatching the paper from my small fingers. "Hm?...did they say who it was from?" Her index flicked cutting into the opening with her large nail. "No Cath. Not a word. The boy scurried off." She chuckled under her breath as her eyes scanned through my poem. Her cheeks did not change colour, nor change any facial expression. A dead expression. "What does it say? Who is it from?" I lifted myself onto my tip-toes to peer over.


    "No...it doesn''t say. It''s cute, quite admirable." She yawned stuffing the note into her nightgown top. I relaxed my feet to see the outline of my note against her breast. "Cute? Really?" My eyes lit like a burning candle to hear of my good work. "Yeah...sure. A little stale but they tried." Her body turned going back to her room. "Stale?! How so? Whatever they wrote, perhaps they put a lot of thought in!"


    "No darling, this little note felt forced. Maybe if the person did want to confess feelings he or she should either come out and say it, or come up with better material because this was sweet, just not heat felt. This person is on the right track but not there yet." She opened her bedroom door with a gust of wind passing my ankles. "Stop sulking around the castle. Go outside. You have been cooped up for too long. The sun will do you some good." She yawned again covering her sharp shaped teeth. "B-but...I have more cleaning to do."


    "No, you don''t. You''re done for the day. Relax..." Her crimson pupils blinked back to brown. I felt as though my brain turned to mush. As if a surge of electricity just soared through my head to my toes. Quite exquisite, an airy feeling. As I was floated mid-stance. I stood there on the top of the stairs with no recollection of my being nor existence. Who am I? Where am I?


    "Bella?...Bella!" Catherine''s voice snapped me back out of my mind, back to the real world.


    "Huh!...yes?"


    "You are ridiculous...and cute-.." Catherine''s jaw cracked open releasing another small yawn again. "You can go away now." Her hand ushered me to leave her alone at last.


    ?©¤©¤©¤?   ???   ?©¤©¤©¤?


    The spring was a change from the winter. From frozen toes in a foot of snow to this. A thawed paradise. Luscious grass flows in the wind, not a strand out of place. An array of beautifully bloomed flowers saying hello to the sun''s rays. For the first time since I arrived I never once left out the front castle doors. The slate cobblestone paved down to a gate the same as the back gate. Sky-high spruce trees stood tall alone a dirt path. The path led along the castle grounds. It wasn''t as expected but my instincts called upon me to follow.


    How much danger can one be? The supposed danger lay dormant in her chambers. Nothing out of the ordinary outside compares inside. The trail was rough on the bare sole of my feet. My feet were too accustomed to the soft comforts of Catherine''s red Persian rugs under my toes. I grew a tolerance once I trotted up a small hill to find large stones on either side of the trail ending into a lake.


    "How have I not seen this?" I huffed peering over my shoulder to see the distance of the castle. The thick brush of trees and tall grass covered the lower half of the stone outside of the castle walls. Enough privacy I suppose from prying eyes. Well, only one set of eyes worries me. I am foolish enough to think Catherine Valeria would dare risk her health just to see me take a small dip. Perhaps more than that.


    I grew up in the countryside of London, being lower on the societal hierarchy meant the luxury of bathing wear was less than none. It was either a swimsuit for their luscious daughter or food on the table. I wore one of my more loose dresses. A floral corset that hung by straps on my shoulders. A lacey white dress attached at the waist to cover my hips. My undergown was exposed but it complimented the corest. Both articles of clothing were tossed aside under an apple tree. I noticed in the natural light I have grown thin. My hips were still visible and wider I would like the admit, my ribcage bludging out to make their appearance. Breasts full still retaining their round shape.


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    The water was crystal clear to the bottom. The earth''s dirt floor was all that inhabited it. I crept my foot into the water, letting go of any inclination to dive into the lake. The splash swept me under to grasp the lake floor. My head bursts like a bubble coming up for air. Bliss. Pure utter bliss. The kind you venture in a novella to escape the mundane hollow pit known only to us mortals as our shell lives. To encounter anything more will surely be the equivalent of what people see as heaven. It''s my equivalent. However, absolute heaven would be if Catherine reacted differently to my note. Possibly, maybe a shade of pink on those pale cheeks. Not one ode to be pushed away. Not to be told my note was unthoughtful. Sure, it was written quickly but not forced. Okay, may have been forced. It was the only thing I thought of at the time. The only release before spilt across the floors and am sure to be mopped with it by Catherine. In anger or at my own expense.


    I hate to admit that Catherine was right, but the fresh air held some promising benefits indeed. To smell of flowers, and grass. Hell, if I wasn''t smart, I would swear I could smell the sunshine. Not the constant aroma of copper. The smell of Catherine''s medicine coursed throughout the castle walls as if it was seeped into the wallpaper. As though, knowing well it isn''t true, it smelt of rot. Not the inhabitants rotting but the castle itself. Rotting from the inside; in either negligence or lack of inhabitants living in its hallways. One hallways had the most foot traffic than any other. Where Catherine and my room presided.


    My back lay afloat on the surface of the lake. It was surreal to have all of the time in the world just to watch the clouds move. To think they sneakily ran away out of frame when no one was watching to bring the dark. But I know, I see you move.


    "Meow!"


    My ears submerged under water as I raised my head to be greeted by another familiar face. The pile of black fluff. I dropped my hips to cascade down to a less shallow area of the lake. "Well, good day mama." I flicked the extra droplets off my hand to scratch her head. I swept under her belly to feel nothing but extra belly fat. No movement. My stomach dropped at the notion I thought of the worst. A predator? A miscarriage? She seemed content. Quite in fact. Not stressed, not in pain. "Whatever happened to your newborns?" The mama cat stood tall, taking in all of my pets in every sweet spot. She purred again vocalizing the last vowels lower. Out of the thick grass came 4 little replicas of the mama cat. 4 black little balls of fluff. Two had shorter hair than the other two. One caught my eye more than the rest. A medium-length fur, sharp ears and bright green eyes. I assumed he was the boy. The runt. His other 3 siblings hiked up the backs with their fur standing up. The boy sat there in silence with the same disposition as his mother. Calm. Her meow turned sweet to a low growl. Most likely to scold her kittens for their behaviour. I would assume. I may speak English and Italian, but speaking cat isn''t my expertise. The three relaxed still wary of this brunette stranger. The boy trotted over next to his mom with no complaint. As if he had met me before. Perhaps, the kitten I felt was him. He bowed his head to await for my hand. I broke free from his mom to pat his head. His mew was small but mighty. His purrs roared. He was in love. His eyes shone the same bright green turning back to his regular shade. I felt connected to him. As if his mom was bestowing her only son on me. I perceived he was a boy from his figure compared to his siblings. I jumped up letting my bottom touch the ground.


    "Meow!" He jumped onto my bare thighs. Plobbing himself in a ball. He rested his chin letting me stroke his back.


    "Well hello, handsome! Your son is quite friendly!" I turned my head, thinking I must be going mad if I was having a conversation with a cat. However, like that, mama and his 3 siblings were nowhere to be seen. "What the hell? Did your mother just leave you? In my care? Why!?" I picked him up under his arms realizing he was in fact a male. He did not change his mood. He held out his arms needing in the air purring more loudly than before. He leaped onto my chest wrapping both paws around my neck. Nuzzling his head in my collarbone. "Very well, but Catherine might have something to say about this arrangement." I stood placing him at my feet. I pinned my damp hair off my shoulders to dry and my dress. I peered over at the castle once again, this time I detected something out of the ordinary. A black tree, smaller than all of the others in the shade. It was a shaded path leading from the back door. It wasn''t a tree! It was Catherine! The way her long hair blew from the side in the wind, her stance. She was watching. How long I could not tell. I was wrapped up in receiving an orphan more than her eyes on my nude form.


    I ran off the path straight to her. Her stance changed as if she got caught cocking her head up to the sky. "Beautiful day isn''t it?"


    "What the hell are you doing out!? You said yourself you can develop burns!" I stuffed the fur ball in my loose corset in my chest. "On contrary Miss Bella Donna, this is the shade. I am perfectly fine as long as the sun does not touch."


    "Fine. It is beautiful. I hate to admit but you were right." She chuckled softly, flicking her index finger on my shoulder. "See! If I could, I would be outside more often. I only came out to see where you were, and to ask when dinner will be prepared." The kitten let out a tiny growl as Catherine''s hand left me.


    "Oh? I just assumed you were watching me swim." I retorted brushing her shoulder as I passed her to the back door. "Me? Watching you? That is...laughable really...even if you are quite beautiful. Maybe you shouldn''t swim naked." She mustered a full sentence in retaliation. Finally some colour, I have caught her red-handed and now she''s defensive. "Well perhaps Ms. Valeria, you will provide me with proper swimming attire next time I venture off. I don''t want you to burn yourself while your jaw drags in the dirt." I unlatched the door taking the first step in. "Perhaps I just might! For your information, my jaw was not as you say ''dragging in dirt''! You have an active imagination for a young woman, secondly, who were you speaking with?"


    "Haha very well. We will talk about the subject later, how did you know...right, heightened senses. I was talking to the mama cat from before...remember? She came in on the crate?"


    "The beast. I do. Have you been mad talking to animals? This isn''t a fable. You are not snow white. A beauty yes, but cannot speak to animals." Catherine huffed locking the door behind us. "I did at first. I thought something was wrong when I didn''t feel any kittens when I pet her. Only to find out she had her litter." I yawned at the thought of the kitten''s claws needing in the middle of my chest. "And what? You just had to pet every cub from the litter I presume?"


    "Not exactly..." I trailed on leaving the kitchen in the main entryway. Catherine still followed after me, now, in suspicion. "Bella? What did you do?" She halted as she took a breath through her clenched teeth. "Well...I didn''t do anything of the kind. She technically gave him to me...I suppose out of good faith for treating the mama cat with kindness...please don''t be mad." I turned my body, reaching into my corest top to retrieve the black kitten stowed away presenting him to my Lady. "Him?! I do not fucking care if the mother paid you to take him! You return that beast where you found him!"


    "Please Catherine...his eyes shone bright and we connected." He purred in my hands and I held him close to my chest. "Shone? Like a candle lit?"


    "Yes...please..." I pouted in protest protecting him for what Catherine might do. My mind raced thinking she might throw him out by his scruff. "Oh for fuck sake..have you named him?"


    His name? I never thought of a name! If I named him then possibly Catherine would allow me to keep him!


    "Uh-...um...his name is-...Roman. Yes! His name is Roman." Roman purred in my grasp. His eye lit up again bowing his head in a nod. As though he liked the name he received. "Roman...fuck...fine. You may keep him. As long as he doesn''t tear up the walls or shit everywhere!" Roman leaped out of my arms, rubbing his body against my ankles.


    "Thank you! Thank you, Catherine!" I jumped towards Catherine embracing her around her shoulders. "Oh stop it! Let go! He''s your familiar. You have bonded. I cannot break that." She broke my grasp.


    "A what?"


    "A familiar. In folklore, they say familiars are spiritual guardians that would protect their owners. If what you said was true. His mother chose Roman to be yours."


    "I do like the sound of that. To be chosen."


    "Well, how about I choose you to start dinner and prepare my medicine." She slumped her body deeply on the couch in the main floor area not moving an inch of her being. "Very well. Why not you get to know Roman and I''ll make us dinner." I planted a kiss on his head picking him for the ground, laying him on Catherine''s lap. "No, no, no. I don''t think that is wise..." Catherine froze not moving her hands from either side of her body. I looked behind to see Roman''s back arch as he mustered a tiny hiss that took everything out of him and scurried off. "See...familiars sense trouble."


    "Stop...you''re not trouble Catherine."


    "How do you know that Bell?"

 Stay in the West Wing

    Having a kitten is like taking care upon a babe. A whiny, needy sort. Roman is clingy. Ever so often as I went about in the castle there was my little shadow. Tripping over his pinky-sized tail, not worried about my well-being but more worried about his health. To think I would ever hurt him on accident. Upon further days, Roman would hide under my skirt from Catherine. It''s as though Catherine was correct. The fact that Roman is my ''familiar'', and he senses something off with Catherine Valeria. Possibly, Roman can sense her illness and that is what freaks him out, hopefully, unless there is a dark presence within her.


    By nightfall, I was stowed away in my room. Further submerged in my bedsheets under a thick red comforter. Roman was hidden under blankets as well, his purrs were muffled as he crept up to my face. He grew exponentially in the few weeks I have taken care of him. When he initially came to me, he would spin into a ball the size of my palm. Now, Roman fitted both palms of my hands. His medium-sized fluff has grown to a full puff like his mother.


    Preparing Catherine''s and Roman''s meals, and creating a small wooden crate full of a mixture of sand and loose dirt to use as Roman''s lavatory has left me in more of an over-worked state. I would not dare complain. Complaining would consecrate Roman''s dismissal from the castle. However, Catherine on the other hand was her normal self. Wash her sheets and clothes, fetch her medicine, try to cook a half-decent meal once in a while. To her, she would not give a shit if cleaning was done. Before I arrived the dust was thicker than the rugs. However, I lived here too so the thought of living in filth repulsed me.


    I tossed in the fairly large mattress alone. Not solely alone that is, as Roman lay near my head, his purring subsiding into a frail snore. I often cannot fathom that a mere creature like him can choose someone such as myself. Why me? The mama only met me briefly, bestowed her only son to me. How ironic. I deny a human woman''s only son, only to be handed the only son of a cat. However, Roman is the only male that will accost me.


    In the blink of an eye, Roman disappeared. Usually, I would find his body slinking around. He was still small but grew long. I rolled back to the door to see if maybe I had kept the door open. I in fact did, though, it does not appear his body stirred along the hall. I emerged my head from my pillow, my untamable hair poofed up behind my head. I could feel my curls fall slowly against my skin. Until I felt a curl lift above my head. I shot my head back to see Roman balancing his body on my headboard, his arm reached out with one claw caught in my hair.


    "Mew!" He belted out retracking his claw out of my hair. "What is it, Rom? What hm?..." He balanced his little paws across my headboard to leap off onto the ground. He sat himself down in front of my door with a quiet meow. "Hm? What? Do you need to use your box?" I struggled to get out of bed under the warmth of my covers. I creaked the door wider as my little black mass scurried out. I followed him to the bathroom where I halted to find Roman nowhere to be found. Catherine allowed me to place his toilet box near the sink as long as it did not get in her way. He mewed again near the edge of the stairs. "What? What is wrong with you? You are not to fed. It is late." I must be stark raving mad. Speaking to a cat as if he could understand. His eyes blinked fiercely bright. He dashed up the forbidden stairs of the west wing. I followed once again at the bottom of the stairs as I noticed the well-lit candles along the castle. Roman waited for me to step up. "Roman. No! Get down this instant." He purred shutting his eyes slowly. "No..no more games. Come down. We can''t be up there." I held one foot up the step not to create a sound in fear that Catherine would hear me. Not a creak in the stair, I led myself up the flight to the top of the stairs to meet Roman. I bent down to grab him but he slipped my grasp. I watched his fur bounce down the darkest hallway in the castle. Not a candle hung, the only light that shone was the moon in the lancet windows standing side by side. The hall stretched on for what seemed as an eternity. As if I am walking in circles.


    Roman halted in a fairly lit room. It was nothing in comparison to this castle. Set in a dim and macabre setting, and yet this room, this room was full of pink. Porcelain white pillars, white tusk vanity, and a blush pink bed with the same colour canopy. The fire blazed in a white fireplace with a copper metal cage. To the corner of the room, away from the window, was a bright white piano. Catherine sat, her fingers touching the ivories lightly. Either she was checking if it was out of tune or she was rusty. Roman on the other hand had other plans. He helped himself by hopping on the pink bed making it his own.


    Catherine held herself up in high regard. However, she seemed to be in tears. Stifling her whines with her hand. I wanted to walk close. I hate when she''s angry with me, but deep down in the pit of my stomach, seeing her sob I hate more. Her sobs grew loud. I knew what this room once was as I stepped foot in.


    It''s a child''s room.


    Not a small child, there was makeup and perfume. Pearls and fabric dresses that I could fit in. A teenage girl? Or a young woman? A daughter. The way Catherine''s sobs howled through the room was not a pain I had ever experienced. A loss of a child. Her hand stroked the ivories, as her other caressed a run-down brown stuffed bear. Her fingers finally played a tune. A sombre tune. A chill ran throughout my body. It was the same eerie chill I once felt when I arrived. The first day I stepped upon these forbidden steps. This was the farthest I have ventured without the feeling. Finally, I realized it was there all along. Following me. Catherine sniffled singing a tune that matched the song on the piano.


    "If this world is wearing thin, and you''re thinking of escape. I''ll go anywhere with you. Just wrap me up in chains, but if you try to go alone. Don''t think I''ll understand."


    The sombre tune played. The sinister chill became life-like. Cascading from a white whirlpool into a blue apparition.


    I only thought ''ghosts'' were fictional in mere horror novels. Nothing I would ever think I would see in my lifetime. A beauty, a caramel blonde. An off-the-shoulder white laced dress danced across the floor to sit next to Catherine. A daughter. Her daughter. She possessed Catherine''s beautiful features. She had Catherine''s eyes and her prominent nose. Her smile resembled her mother''s. It was touching. I almost shed a tear. To see a mother''s love even after death. I ponder every day if the role was reversed. If my mother watches over me. Pitying herself she could not raise me. Would she have forced me to marry Arthur Thomas? Would I know how to read? Would she have searched for me with father? Does she still love her only daughter?


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    "Stay with me..." Catherine''s voice shrieked as her cries cut through her song. The ghostly figure reached out a hand to Catherine''s shoulder. Catherine''s voice stopped as the blonde''s voice echoed throughout the room. "Stay with me." The blonde''s voice was beautifully quiet. I could hear her voice but it was less powerful than Catherine''s. The blonde took a breath in peering over her shoulder. She saw me. Me wiping a singular tear away. She shrieked flashing away from the piano.


    Catherine slammed her hands down with the noise of the piano startling me. I jumped letting out a gasp. "What. The hell. Are you doing here Bella?" I sniffled back my tears trying to stand my ground. "Um...I''m so sorry. Roman snuck out. I followed." Catherine arose from the piano seat.


    "I told you not to keep that fucking cat, didn''t I? You are not supposed to be here!!" She turned, her face reddened to match her eyes. The anger she felt was reasonable, I broke the rules and scared away something pure. "I-I know...and I apologize...I knew I shouldn''t have come up here..." At this moment, Catherine truly scared me. She ran up to me latching her hand around my arm dragging me out. She pinned me against the wall breaking the wood behind me. It stung briefly until I felt the firey anger rush throughout Catherine. "Apologizing will not bring her back! It will not bring no one back!"


    "I don''t know what to do!" I shouted back unleashing all of my tears. "I felt horrible when I found you upset! Why in the hell do you always think it''s my fault! You did not have to let me live with you!" I pushed my body forward making Catherine''s hands release me.


    "Sometimes I regret that decision, Bella.." She growled under her breath as she wiped away tears in her sleeve. My tears burst out running all over my face. The insult made my face burn. I am surely going to burst.


    "F-fuck you!" I stuttered. "If I was to leave, you would suffer without me. Sitting here drunk on your ass in your vomit!"


    "You are such a child! A stupid child! You think everything is about you!" She barked back as I marched down the hall to my room. "Me! Stupid? When only two people are living in this fucking castle then it''s either about me or you. Most of the time you! Frankly, I think you are the jerk here!" I turned my head as my hand rode the railing down.


    "Me? How in the fuck am I a jerk?! You are the stupid little bitch who disobeyed my rules and came to the west wing! You had to come up and fuck everything up for me!" She chased after me, her heels deafening. I swore every stride she took she would puncture the floorboards. I stopped at the bottom of the stares to finally look into Catherine''s eyes. Her cries halted, now with a burning red anger that filled her head to toe. I soon realized I was the one more upset. My whole being felt like I just bathed, through, I was drenched in tears. My eyes became puffy hindering my vision entirely, while Catherine''s voice was the only thing I heard.


    "You don''t get it, do you? You said it yourself! No one comes up this mountain! I wish someone warned me what awaited me here! Not this castle, not the fucking weather, but you! You solely Catherine Valeria! Perhaps I am idiotic! An idiot to think you would actually like my goddamn note!" I turned my back to her down the hall to my room.


    "Wait...Bella...you wrote me that?" Her heels stopped behind me. Silencing her furious tone. I did not cast my gaze behind. I concentrated on my hand rolling the doorknob. Feeding the knob through my hand to open my door. "Bare me your fake sympathies. I work for you remember. You don''t care about me. Goodnight, I will you leave in the morn." I banged the door shut behind me. Not a sound from Catherine came out. No protest, no more anger. Nothing. Just dead silence. My forehead rested against the door.


    Am I an idiot. An idiot for telling Catherine. For snapping at her. She is right. I disobeyed. Damn you Roman.


    ?©¤©¤©¤?   ???   ?©¤©¤©¤?


    My breaths shook as I regained my composure. I tapped my head gently on the wood cursing myself and god. For why was it his decision to make me this way in particular? To denounce men and religion. To find women more palatable than the opposite sex. Potentially, this is my in fact my hell on earth. Not in the sense of pain, or burning in brimstone as said in the bible. Little devils poking you with pitchforks, but in the sense that I, will never be seen as a female love interest to any woman. A much beautiful woman the likes of Catherine Valeria. A sick woman yes, but still in her frail ailing state, she''s still a woman. A very alluring and mysterious beauty.


    I pivoted the soles of my bare feet to my bed. Where I should have stayed initially. If had to change anything about tonight. I would stay in bed.


    Finally able to be at rest and configure my new life tomorrow. I let out a high-pitched noise perking up on my tip-toes. A dark figure sat on my bed. Not moving an inch. I briskly attained a box of matches to light the candle on my tiny cabinet beside my bed. The candlelit with the orange hue illuminated the room. There sat Catherine on my bed. Silent. Her eyes welled in tears with the red tint fades from a lush rose tinge. How in the hell did she get in? Her whines softened under her sleeve. Her hair scattered hiding her face.


    "P-p-please Bella...don''t go."


    "Why should I? You do not seem to want me." I wiped away my tears stretching my face back roughly. "I-I do. I really do Bell. I just do not know-..." She sniffled. "Do not know what Catherine?!"


    "How to show it!" She screamed. Her sobs grew loud. She buried her face in her lap. I stepped close to my weeping employer on my bed. "C-Catherine...please...if you do not want me to go, then I will stay. You say the word." I knelt down petting her hair. Her long hair was the sensation of silk. Her cries ceased, her eyes puff red. She appeared to be tired, more tired than her usual exhausted expression. "I want you to stay. Please, stay. I am sorry Bell." Her hands moved from her lap to my shoulders. Each finger moved simultaneously together. Stroking my collarbone under my nightgown. "It is alright Catherine, we can speak more of this tomorrow. You are tired, as am I. Maybe it''s high time you sleep in the nighttime instead of the day." I dropped my hands from her head to her jaw softly raising it to meet our eyes. Catherine''s red fatigued eyes cleared back to her hazel shade.


    "Mm..perhaps so..." Catherine''s jaw unclenched belting out a yawn. Her arms arose over her head as she stood to her feet. "On that note, I will bid you goodnight Bella. I have embarrassed myself enough for your own enjoyment."


    "I did not enjoy this Catherine. I do not like when you are upset." I got up off my knees to sit on my bed. "I know...your heart it beat..so loud. When you are sad or excited. It rings in ears." She coughed as her thick Romanian accent flourished. "You can hear my heartbeat?"


    "Of course. It is like thunder in my ears. Your heart is not the only thing I can sense Bella." She smirked creaking the door open.


    "Whatever do you mean Catherine Valeria?" I was intrigued. The fact her senses were heightened fascinated me but she never truly enlightened me on how heightened her other senses were. "Your other excitements darling. Your how you say um...pl?cut?...in English? Ah! Pleasurable excitement." She trailed on intentionally. She knew what she was saying. She wanted to withhold me in suspense. "And what pleasurable excitements do I bare hm?" I bent all of my weight on one of my hands on the mattress.


    "The kind whenever I am around you, your heartthrobs. Amongst other things that throb in the night." Her smile persisted and she left my bedroom. I was aghast. To think this woman would have the nerve to say I became hot and bothered in her presence. "Buona notte Bella, sleep well."


    "Goodnight Valeria."

 Nightmares nor Fantasies

    Throughout the day, the inevitable happens. The same usual thing day in and day out. Absolutely nothing. The same mundane chores. With a plethora of scheduled sessions to Catherine''s door to deliver her medicine. It''s becoming quite redundant, however, it''s better than being married. Who said I was complaining? I wasn''t. You may if you wish but that is your prerogative. Catherine and I had a mutual understanding as far as the West Wing is concerned. I was allowed to enter if Roman was on the loose or if her medicine was needed. Not a peep, nor to disturb Catherine and no contact with the blue spirit under any circumstances. In which, if I was ever approached, I must report to her immediately.


    In due time the tension passed. Catherine and I were on speaking terms but it felt as though we were at a crossroads in a sense. I wanted to get in, but she shut me out. As if she was scared to let me in. I fear she may upset me and be the reason I leave. It appeared as if nothing had happened whereas she stored it deep inside her. Oh, I wish to be the one to crack her surface. She let me once, I needed to go again.


    I was in my usual spot this night, an enjoyable one at that. Finishing off a book I read in a matter of two days. I arose from the comfortable spot in the groove of the couch. My feet were not my own, they were numb from me sitting on them for so long. I stretched out flicking my ankles to hear the sweet click of my subtalar joint and talus bone shift against each other. "Ah...much better. Sweet god." I rolled my neck around my shoulders to hear the same noise. My ears perked while I trotted over to the bookshelf with the empty spot to place the book perfectly back. It was footsteps. It was Catherine''s obviously. Spirits don''t make footsteps correct? I hope.


    "Bella? Bell?" Catherine''s voice boomed. She turned the corner of the hall. Her arm crept along the door frame leaning her body weight on the hardwood. "Yes, Cath?"


    "Come, it is late. Please, you go to bed. You look tired." She yawned. "As do you. I thought you slept in the day?" I yawned in return.


    "I did. I yawn in mere boredom. When you go to bed then I will have my fun."


    "Oh? You have without me?"


    "Jealous little sort are we? Go to bed and perhaps I may include you." I tip-toed before Catherine met her eye to eye. "Really? What fun would that detail?" She smirked as she lifted a loose strand of hair away from her face. "Do not fret, you will enjoy it. Now, bed." I passed her down the hall to the stairs. I would assume this was the attic, however, in this castle, it is a labyrinth. As though the castle only allows me to see what it wants me to. I perhaps may or may not be imagining it. Castles are not alive. It is just a building. Stones and wood. The matter remains, the owner of this castle wanted to keep everything lock and key.


    ?©¤©¤©¤?   ???   ?©¤©¤©¤?


    I dove deep under the covers in my bed. I was on the brink of falling asleep. My brain shut off. The door creaked with the sound of the hinges wailing. My eyes widened with the sense something felt extremely off. The room''s dark aesthetic changed to a blue haze. It bugged my eyes with the fuzz around the corners of my footboard and cabinets.


    Was I having a dream? This was not my room. This...this was different. Airy yet quiet.


    "Bell...oh Bell." I could not move my head from left to right. Nor my body for that matter. I am dreaming. I must be. The paralyzing feeling, disorientation, acute deafness. Yes. I am dreaming. I knew that was Catherine''s voice but her body did not come into my field of vision. I tried to say yes but all my vocal cords could muster was a ''huh'' noise. Like an animal. "Good, you up." Catherine came into frame, wearing her red robe not tied around her waist. "I wanted your company more than expected." Catherine cascaded herself around the diameter of my bed slinking her body across my mattress. "Uh...huh?" She hopped onto her knees revealing she wore nothing under her robe. Bare in all of her glory. I wanted to oppose and turn away. I had no use for it, my body refused to. "You seem to be needing company huh? All alone on a night like this?" She slipped off the robe off her arms throwing the cloth to the floor. Her lengthy hair ran down her back stopping barely to her ass. It made me feel like complaining about how long my hair wasn''t a major issue since Catherine hadn''t cut her in a few years. "Mphm..." I nodded not knowing fully what the hell I was agreeing to. "I love we have mutual understanding darling," She reached down stroking a strand of my curls that lay alone on my pillow. "May I join you?" Her eyes lit red as she drew my bedsheets away from my body. Her hands dipped under my shoulders tugging my nightgown to my ankles.


    Hey! Wait! Stop that!


    "Huh?.." I peered down at my nude body under hers. "N-n-no..." She hummed a little giggle. "Your mind may object, however, your body is telling me differently. My mind tells me to lick every part of your orifice. Inside and out. My body on the other hand...well let me just show you..." She crawled on top hovering over my body. She licked the top of her teeth and lip, as her red eyes stayed. Her head dipped to my shoulder as her tongue glided across my collarbone. My body was paralyzed but my senses were enhanced, and so was every nerve ending in my being. Feeling this was as if I felt it awake. "Oh god...I can smell it Bell. Your excitement. Your b-blood. It''s driving me over the fucking edge!"


    My what?! I heard correct?


    My breath hitched not to move. How could I? I was motionless already but the sheer fact a beautiful naked woman laid upon me, besides I laid bare idly beneath her as well. "Your mixture of scents is so erotic. Orgasmic even. Fuck...if I even see a drop of your blood I will sure come on the spot." Her head perked up from my collar dragging her tongue along my cheek. "Goddamit...Belly my sweet, do you see me? You have your own power, power over me." My arms were finally free. They were once heavy as boulders, now they are as light as pillows. I could not function properly as I would normally. I reached out to stop her. I went to leap off under her body but my back was still heavy. My hands swerved through her hair bumping the side of her breast. Catherine''s smile hid behind her hand, it dropped down to grasp mine to bring my palm against her full breast. "Oh, I know what you want. It''s been on your mind all along. Me. Quite flattered if I dare say. I haven''t been touched in years. I''ll let it be you Bell. As long as I''m allowed to do the same." She shined her sharp teeth shaking her full hair behind her back. She smelt of a mix of florals and copper. "W-what?..."


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    "I want you to touch me, Bella. I would tear this flesh apart and crawl into you. Your blood would be the height of my sexual escapades. Let me!" She drew one index finger flicking her long nail out in the moonlight, her nail drug across my neck. It stung briefly with the feeling of a damp coolness. It was blood! My blood! Catherine let out a tumultuous moan. Her eyes shone brighter than ever. She leaped to my neck lapping the fresh blood off. She murmured in my skin. Her body trembled over mine. My fear was replaced with excitement. Not the feeling I didn''t think was to be expected but it was there. The thrill of being touched perhaps? Being with Catherine? A supposed vampire? Perhaps the villagers were right. "I am what you think I am...what they say I am. A blood-drinking nymphomaniac vampire!" Catherine grasped one of my smaller breasts in comparison to hers. "This is the longest I haven''t slept with a servant...nor kept them alive this long. You should feel honoured. Deflowering you will be so sweet. Your first orgasm will make your blood so precious. A rare commodity. I can''t hold it any longer!" At once, her hand dove into my skin ripping my skin apart. My blood painted the white bedsheets under us, my skin tore like stale bread. Rough cut skin deep in like a slab. I cannot scream nor freak. I lay still watching. Her opposing hand had other plans, as she spread my thighs apart dipping her middle and ring finger deep into my loins. My brain was screaming. Her hand dug further into my ribcage as her other pumped ruthlessly into my mere core. With a large thick string-like matter out of my stomach. My intestine! No! She intertwined my large intestine in her hand licking my blood. Her mouth was covered in the crimson of my bodily fluids. Catherine dropped my inner workings back in their place still deep inside me. It was a shame I could not feel this. Not the pain I mean but the sheer fact that I have never had someone inside me other ways than being split open like this. I bet she makes love as passionately as she kills. "Taste your decadence, Bella Donna." Her head hovered over as her bloodied lips smashed into mine. My neck finally moved as her lips guided me to join the kiss. Her tongue poked lathering my blood in my mouth. I still taste the copper but it wasn''t something I was disapproving over. I had to let out a cry or free myself. I was dying. Catherine opened me up, I am surely dead already! Just running in shock. "N-no! No!"


    ?©¤©¤©¤?   ???   ?©¤©¤©¤?


    "Ah!! No! No!" I shot out of bed in a pool of sweat. My nightgown slung around my shoulder half on and half off. Roman hid under a chair in my room over my shrieks. My hair stuck to my forehead.


    "Bella! Bella!" Catherine screamed from what seemed to be her study. Her stomps up the stairs grew loud and she ran at a fast pace. She ran into my room almost breaking the door down. "What is wrong with you?! Why in the hell are you screaming?!" She was out of breath as she checked my forehead. "God you are burning! You must be falling ill." She sat on the edge of my bed adjusting the straps of my nightgown to cover my exposed body. "N-no...I''m fine. I just had a really bad nightmare."


    "A nightmare? How back could it possibly be if you are in shock hm?" Catherine caressed my shoulder in comfort. Though, I could not get the violent image out of my head. Her naked vampire body tore me to shreds with a hard-on for me. "Um-...I don''t think I want to share Valeria. It was too dark."


    "Hmph...fine. If you insist. Come down to my study with me. I do not want you to catch a cold from going to bed all sweaty in your cold bedroom. Not good for your body. I''ll fetch you some water." She arose to her feet lending out a hand. I caught her hand hoisting my shaken body up to the floor. She was right. The only thing warm in the room was me. The wood beneath my feet was ice. Catherine''s hand took hold guiding me down the stairs to our left into her study. "It is fine Catherine. I serve you. I will fetch my own water." I tried to let go but her hand held me firm. "Nonsense. I have water in my study. I drink more than medicine Bell." We both stopped at her red velvet chaise chair she sat in often. This was Catherine''s chair. She shouldn''t have to give it up for me due to my childish nightmares. Catherine dropped my hand beside my hip as she moved behind her chair to the desk to find a vase of water and a glass. I observed her movements as a mirror caught my eye.


    I was unharmed! It was a mere dream! My intestines were not out on display! My throat...Wait! My throat! I ran to the mirror to find a small red line carved below the most important vein in the body slightly cut enough to draw a morsel of blood. "What the hell?.." I felt it slightly trying not to make it bleed worse. "What''s wrong Bell?" Catherine turned in her robe. "Um-...I have a cut...across my throat."


    "Oh...oh dear, must be self-inflicted. You never know, how you were going about this mysterious nightmare it appears you must have hurt yourself while freeing your mind." I had to agree with her. I could tell her my dream. Keeping the sexual parts out in fear of my feelings brought to light. She would laugh at me for thinking she was a creature of the night. "Weird. In my dream," Catherine''s hand took hold of mine to pull me away from the mirror, in which her body never appeared. She sat me on her chair sitting next to me. "I-um...you came into my room. You slashed my throat." She handed me the glass, I gulped in appreciation downing its contents happily. "Haha! Why on earth would I do such a thing? I had to get you away from the mirror. An optical illusion mirror from Greece. My husband loved it." An optical illusion? No illusion there.


    "You were a vampire. Haha! The villagers are getting into my head more than I thought!" I giggled as she refilled my glass. "Ha! Seems so. What a strange girl you are. However, I do find it flattering you are having dreams about me. Nightmares or fantasies."


    "Sure. You are probably the same. We are the only people we see every day." I yawned in a sense I grew tired in her calming presence.


    "Oh, I suppose when you put it like that. Here, you must warm yourself by the fire." Catherine''s hand touched my temple moving my head to her shoulder. "There. You''ll be warm." I slightly shivered against Catherine''s icy body. Like brick. Her hand laid against my cheek, her nails tapped above my eyebrow. I notice each nail move singularly to its translucent shape. Until I noticed something startling. The cherry red tint coated her index nail. Something that could be passed off but my mind thought it knew better. "Did you cut yourself Cath?" My hand crept to her wrist examining her reddened finger. "Oh, not on the contrary. I was pouring myself some medicine and it spilt a little." She held her finger to her face as she licked to remnants. "Do not worry, just lay here. Warm yourself. You are making me cold Bell." Her hand retreated to my face applying pressure. "No blood-sucking is in store tonight, rest assured." Catherine mocked me. I did not protest or retort back, I took a mental note to make fun later. I was going back to sleep with a feeling of Catherine''s hands on my body. One laid on my head as the other crept up my thigh holding me if I were to fall forward. My brain wished to sleep but it wanted to stay alert, even if it was just a dream, it seemed too real to not stay wary. She pokes fun yes, but is it her guarded facade hiding the true nature of Catherine Valeria''s true illness? Not sickly by any means; but a true vampire.


    "Dancing bears...painted wings...things..I always...remember..." Catherine whispered the same song. The song the ghost girl sang in the entryway. I suspect it was her daughter but I would not dare to ask on the subject. I instantly hummed the same tune under my breath. Finally at ease to fall asleep next to my employer.


    How strange is it not? The same once cold and menacing face, ridiculing my every move could show her soft underbelly. There is a softness to Catherine Valeria. I have only scratched the surface, in which I am fully prepared to break her barrier.

 Sacred Romani

    Copper. All I smelt was this. No more florals. No more Catherine. I stirred around still in Catherine''s study. The fireplace''s coals were cold with flicks of amber flying up the chimney''s shaft to the outside world. It was more cold than last night, I shivered in my nightgown. I arose to find Catherine. However, that was easier said than done. Catherine could be anywhere. Places I have yet to uncover. I felt I was running but it was a mere saunter. I checked the master dining room, the smaller dining room, making my way to the kitchen. I heard faint clashes of pots. I scurried in to catch Catherine off guard. Roman stood tall on the counter peering over at Catherine in the cold cupboard. It was a strange sight indeed to see Catherine in a blue dress, but, stranger occurrences have unravelled.


    "So, since I slept in your study, you have taken it upon yourself to make me breakfast?" I yawned petting Roman''s head.


    "You? Ha! Girl, if I start making you food then Valeria must pay double." A strong woman arose to stand straight to meet me. Her hair was as long as mine but black as night. I was always judged for my rather tan skin tone, hers would startle the masses. The shade of burnt brick. An orangish-brown colour. Honey. That''s it. Her skin was the colour of freshly made honey. "Oh! Excuse me. I thought you were the lady of the house."


    "Catherine Valeria? I am aware. You must be servant. I am Vadoma. I clean castle. Ce mai face?i." Vadoma wore heavy extravagant gold necklaces and bracelets. They banged against one other once she raised her arms above her head. "It seems you two could not pick up broom while I was away? Or clean pots?"


    "I beg your pardon? I will have you know I have cleaned the dining room, the silverware the windows, the banisters and the floors on countless occasions. Perhaps you cannot see that with all of your shiny jewelry!"


    "Huh...a fiery one. Valeria must have kept you long for that purpose. Usually, I find her young servants rotting in the earth by spring."


    "Haha! You too believe all this vampire nonsense as well? What are you anyway? You look rich enough to not clean the castle." I smirked as my brows furrowed upon further inspection. Her dark locks were braided into two thick entanglements, with baby hairs curling upon her forehead. She wasn''t the same age as Catherine, not even 30 I would say. She certainly wasn''t my age. Though, if it is spring then my birthday has passed. I am 18 finally. The winter solstice. I just wish we celebrated it. Celebrated Christmas even.


    "Where in the hell did she find you huh? Never seen Roma before? Found you under rock?" Her Romanian accent caked thicker than Catherine''s. Every auxiliary verb is slashed for both of their vocabularies, even more so with Vadoma. "Roma? Is that a type of noble status? I''m from London originally, I moved here to Transylvania with my father. Now, you did not answer my first question. Why do you believe Catherine is a vampire?"


    "Because I seen it. Her change," Vadoma slams the cold cupboard doors rag in hand, running the white cloth over the counter where Roman sat shooing him away. "I was there that night. I was young. The night she and her family held their yearly ball for All Hallows Eve. All of the important families. The Thomases, the Popa''s, and even the Romanov family. The Valerians upheld the embodiment of Romanian wealth. When a stranger came with Catherine''s son, David. The stranger devoured Catherine''s husband and daughter...Carmilla...she''s...was beautiful. Prin?es?. The stranger came for Catherine. He did not kill her." Obviously. I would not have a job, would I?


    "Well, what did this murderer do to her? She seems psychoneurotic after." I tried to offer my services to aid Vadoma in any way I could. I was denied on multiple occasions. "Ha, that is understatement. No, not just a murderer, a vampir. Creature of the night. Blood drinking suave."


    "Haha! And what? You supposed this suave vampire turned our dear lady of the house, Catherine Valeria into one of them?" I leaned over on a counter. "And how are you such an expert on the matter? Just because you were supposedly there then how are you so special to stay with vampire Valeria?"


    "Perhaps because I am a gypsy, people do not want me. So Catherine allowed me to stay."


    "Gypsy? Does that not mean you read palms and magic? Often we would see Gypsies selling oils and bracelets. Very nice sort. Nothing the likes of you may I add." Vadoma sneered as her hand smacked my hip. "Perhaps in your eyes were are colourful and people pleasing, in these eyes of Romanians were are seen as less than. Vermin. Less than rats. Lady Valeria and you young girl."


    "Young? I suspect we are equivalently the same age?"


    "What are you not 18? I am 20. Married to my husband for 7 years."


    "Good god. 7 years? You were 13 yes? That is ridiculous."


    "It is not so bad," Her accent trailed on as she threw the grey water out the backdoor. "The dowry was a lump sum. My father was given 50 shillings and a goat. I thank god my husband was decent-looking." She kissed her knuckles as they lifted to the sky. My brows lifted into my hairline in shock, to hear this woman 2 years older than me brush it off as if it were normal! My father has spoken about people not as fortunate as us not to marry girls young but this was preposterous. "That is it? 50 shillings and a damn goat! For your beauty, I hope the goat was the size of a horse!" My voice boomed through the kitchen as I was in utter disbelief. I had to amuse myself in such a serious conversation.


    "Haha! My beauty? Hardly...but thank you for the sentiment. That must be why Valeria has kept you so long. You were born in England correct? Women from wealthy lands must be wildly knowledgeable and beautiful as you." Vadoma ushered me out of the kitchen to the common area. Perhaps I was pestering her from completing her work.


    "Hardly, my father taught me to read when he grew older. He is a doctor." I was pushed out the door and spun around to be sat on a long red couch in front of the fireplace. "Wait? Why do you say Valeria kept me this long? You answered that question." Vadoma was much taller than me, not as tall as Catherine but still towered in stature. Vadoma smelt of honey even, as if I would touch her skin and sweet nectar would leave a residue on my fingertips. She huffed blowing a bounced strand away from her forehead. "Questions, questions. You are worse than my children. Mama, what''s this? Mama who''s that? If you must know, every couple of 100 years Catherine Valeria grows bored. She either has me lure a young woman up to this castle to become her ''servant''. The servant does small menial housework. Complaints about gut-wrenching horror-filled dreams then poof! I go to clean Lady Catherine''s room by morning and there, the poor servant is naked in her bed drained of all blood. By the following night, she is left in the woods outside castle walls. To rot. In other words, Miss, lock your door, lock your mind and your legs."


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    "Huh?! I beg your pardon?"


    "You heard me girl. She is not only after your blood. She has other tastes she must satisfy. The sexual satisfaction. Over the years we tried to lure men but none were gullible enough to venture. She slept with one girl and that was that. Face it, to Catherine Valeria, you are just tits and blood. Which comes first well, she decides."


    "Haha! You are a riot! You and the villagers are quite humorous! Then why may I ask, hasn''t she swung your way?" My laughter burst at the seams. To think everyone in Transylvania thinks she''s a woman-loving vampire is the peak of my stay in Romania. "Oh laugh now, until Valeria has you under her thumb."


    "You both are under my thumb." I jumped to my feet to see Catherine standing at the top of the staircase. Her fingers tapped the decorative railing. Her nails rang throughout my ears as if that was the only sound I heard. "If you are finished scaring Bella Donna then there is cooking that must be attended to correct Vad? We haven''t eaten a decent meal since you left."


    "U-um...yes my Lady..." Her overly confident stance grew small as her head lowered. She nodded her head to me as her feet scuffed to the kitchen. Catherine came down the stairs not taking her eyes off me. "Don''t pay her any mind. Gypsies normally exaggerate and scare people, Vad on the other hand gets jealous." Her hands held out to cup my cheeks in her palms softly, not even grazing the skin. "Jealous? Really? She told me the same vampire story about you."


    "Haha! Really? That figures. Her husband is the butcher''s only son in Media?. He was disowned by his father for paying Vadoma''s dowry to marry the young Vadoma. It figures they conformed to that preconceived notion. They are trying to fit back in. Not working very well."


    "Who in the hell would want to ''fit in'' in Media??"


    "People who want a normal life Bell, not like us." My neck cocked as my cheek fell into one of her palms. "Like us? How so?" Catherine''s hand was chilled, but once my skin grazed hers it warmed her bones.


    "You choose not to marry, you rather to read books. I, well, I choose to live alone. Away from civilization and men for that matter. The one thing were have in common." Catherine''s nails drug along the side of my cheek brushing my earlope. "Now, come upstairs. You must attend to our beddings. They must be washed." Her hand left my face as if it was still there. Funny, isn''t it? Our body remembers faint touches even as they disappear.


    ?©¤©¤©¤?   ???   ?©¤©¤©¤?


    I stripped mine and Catherine''s bed carrying our sheets out the door. Catherine had indoor plumbing yes, but no such invention such as cleaning clothes and bedding inside. I unboxed a bar of soap into a mesh cover to scrub the bedspread.


    I slammed the back door shut as our bedsheets dragged along in the tall grass to the lake. Our white sheets were scuffed with dirt and stains from the green grass. I plobbed down on a bed of rocks to heave one of the many sheets in the water. With one hand in the lake and the other withholding a firm grasp of the bar of soap lathering the white fabric. Once the cloth was completely soaked, washed top to bottom I laid it over a makeshift string from one tree to another. So all my hard work is for not, I find it strange one must wash their bedding outdoors to make it clean but drape it over a damn dirty rock. My methods are more clean and save me a headache in the future.


    Hunched over on a rock did my back something fierce. The pain crept up from my hips to my neck. I stood to my feet walking around the perimeter of the lake to soothe the pain. Stumbling around on pebbles and leaves. A small hill met me going down to the edge where the fence around the castle stood. I followed along the tall metal fence surrounding us in this false sense of security we call life. I looked out beyond the fence to the gate leading to the front of the castle. It was strange the say the least, but in some weird way, it almost felt surreal, as though the outside was different in any way. However, it wasn''t. The only different thing was the fence buried in the earth.


    "Bella Donna! Thank god! I found you!" Arthur Thomas spooked himself coming to the gate. "What in God''s name are you doing here? I would suspect Daddy to crawl up here but you? Surely you have some barbaric hunt to sit on your ass and watch hm?" I was aghast to see the very man-child I despise here in my little paradise. "Oh heavens no. I do not condone the slaughter of animals for sport." Well, we have one thing in common. Only one.


    "Whatever, what brings you here Arthur Thomas? I would not imagine a man of your stature would dare venture up this mountain without purpose?" I grew tiresome just looking at the pathetic being in trousers standing on the opposite side of the gate. "I have a purpose if you must inquire. I have come to see you."


    "Me?! Why in hell''s name would you do such an idiotic thing?"


    "Excuse me? I thought ladies think it is very chivalrous to come to their aid?" He scoffed wiping his mouth with his linen sleeve. His newly grown sideburns tasselled in the breeze like Romans whiskers. Though, Roman was more handsome.


    "Has it occurred to you that I do not need your assistance or your aid? I''m quite content where I am. I need nothing from you."


    "Some lady you are! You would rather live with a damn vampire than to live among your own kind!"


    "I would! Even if she is a vampire or not! Rather to be here than married to you! To be your footstool! At least she knows me as an intellectual and not a pair of tits on a stick!"


    "My father was correct! You are a wild child bent out and needing proper adjustment! You need to be put in your place! That is why we need to be married, Married to me!" His voice grew loud growling under his breath. His anger was nothing compared to mine built up over the last 18 years.


    "Haha! I will not water myself down to make me more digestible for you! You can choke." I scoffed, my eyes rolled to the back of my head awaiting for Catherine to save me from Arthur. "An adjustment?! You and your up-tight family full of inbreds need to be adjusted to think women have brains like a man! You might think I''m weak without a sword between my legs, but if I had one, it''d be bigger than yours! Now fuck off!" I pivoted my bare heels kicking dirt in his general direction.


    "Oh-..my god! You will burn in hell for your sinful ways! Laying with that homosexual blood feeder!"


    "If I let the vampire fuck me, then I surely promise I will take you to hell with me!" I spat back as I headed back to the lake retrieving the bedding.


    ?©¤©¤©¤?   ???   ?©¤©¤©¤?


    I burst into the backdoor with the newly clean sheets in hand. My face burnt with rage. How dare the boy I truly hate come up to the top of the mountain to say I have to be ''adjusted''! Every thought replaying in my mind of our conversation grew me furious.


    "Goddamn-...stupid fucking man...I''d give him an adjustment alright! Shove coal up his tight ass! That''ll be an adjustment!" I barked out leaving the kitchen to go to our bedrooms. I threw Catherine''s sheets before her door pounding the wood. "Good for nothing...spineless, caterpillar-sized cock mommy''s boy!" My teeth gritted stomping my feet to my room.


    Catherine''s laugh broke my mutter. "What has your feather-ruffled Belly?" She unlocked her door leaning in the doorframe. "Nothing. I''m fine."


    "Bella, I know you. You only get this angry when you speak of that man-child."


    "Arthur Thomas! Yeah, got it!" I shouted back turning my body around to find Catherine standing in front of me. "Calm down. No need to get bitchy with me. I think if you told me then I could help in some way or another." Her smirk appeared lifting a strand of my hair away from my face. "That stupid boy came here!"


    "Here?! Where!?" Both of her hands locked on either side of my cheeks. Her grip tightened, barely lifting me onto my tip-toes. "Outside the gate. He came up to reason with me to marry him."


    "Impecile. He came all this way to persuade you. Why can they just realize we do not need them? Did you tell him to piss off?"


    "Of course," Catherine''s grip loosened on my cheeks allowing my feet to rest. "You know, if it was true you were a vampire, I would let you eat him." Catherine giggled covering her mouth. "Ha! I suppose you would. I do not think that would be fair. He''s your issue."


    "Well if that was the case I would ask you to turn me into a blood-sucker then I would eat him. Let him feel what it''s like to be dominated over." I turned my back to my room.


    "No! Never! I would never do that to you!... I mean-....in an imaginary world I would think about it." She followed behind me. "I help you. That bed is too big for you. Plus I do not want you to tear the sheets in anger."


    "Oh shut up."


    "Watch it little girl or I''ll make you shut up." Catherine muttered.

 Valerias Underbelly

    Another mundane sunny day for the second day in a row. Nothing entirely a bad thing but no rain and no clouds made it feel as though the days had become one day. No snow surprisingly. I stopped doing more usual chores since Vadoma returned. Not in protest but more as a feeling as the instinct to do anything was a bore.


    You would think I was grateful to Catherine Valeria for allowing me to stay, yes, but the fact I must stay here to ensure my safety from marriage is redundant. Pointless. Do I not have a right like a man to go out a see the world? Must I decide between my well-being over being shackled to one pathetic man my existence? I would like to travel. See the new world. It is to be said Christopher Columbus found a land on the other side of the world. The new world? People who inhabit that foreign land. I wish it. One day.


    Catherine was asleep as per usual. If the sun is out, she''s in. I ponder why she doesn''t go out at night. If she has a sensitivity to sunlight, why does she not go in the night? I think I would enjoy that. To be out of this dust-filled castle, not alone for once. Even if Catherine is my only company. Vadoma would be a good companion if only she liked me.


    I ran down the flight of stairs in the foyer, turning a sharp left to the kitchen. Vadoma was hunched over the counter kneading into a slab of dough. "Ah! Diminea??! You up early, why?"


    "Do not know frankly. I couldn''t possibly go back to sleep." I rested my back against the wall beside the counter watching tentatively over Vad''s fingers dig into the lump of dough.


    "Hmph...perhaps the change of weather is affecting it. Go outside. You and I both are darker than Valeria but you are turning white as cloud." Vadoma sneered resting her hands, letting the gold bracelets fall to her hands. Vadoma was right, for once. I am from England, but since my mother was from a small village in Italy I got her golden skin complexion. It surely ruffled a few feathers in the higher classes; as it was more ''pure'' to be white as the freshly fallen snow. I however found my complexion to be a gift at least in the snow, the English cannot be seen!


    "Hm..perhaps. If you were ever so kind to join me?"


    "I would happily, though some still have a job to do Bella. You must venture on your own accord today." Vadoma scoffed peering over


    "Very well."


    ?©¤©¤©¤? ??? ?©¤©¤©¤?


    The lake was a personal little sanctuary for myself, sneaking down here in the evenings before Catherine would rise. The water reconnected me to the living. Of what I once perceived as the living. The good of some. Even though the living hasn''t been too hospitable to me lately. Roman has grown like a weed. He''s grown into his fur. Not quite reached maturity but is more or less in the rebellious stage of any animal. Picking fights with Vadoma over slabs of meat and a chicken. Pestering Catherine at her door. Mewing to be let in only to be thrown out a minute later. His favourite thing was to swat my head while he sat on my headboard every morning.


    "Alright little man, do you fancy a swim?" I pinned my locs with a ribbon off my shoulders, dipping a toe into the water. With all of the unwanted intrusions going on I dared not to disrobe, merely wearing one of my white nightdresses. Roman purred sniffing the edge of the lake not before turning his tail at me, leaping onto a rock to observe me. I know animals of the feline persuasion do not have a liking for water but he did not have to be a twat about it.


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    "Fine, more for me." I leaped into the lake feet first, not coming for air until my feet touched the dirt at the bottom. I bent my knees jumping from the dirt, my head broke the water''s waves. Grasping the sweet breeze in my breast. I took large strokes swimming back and forth to each end of the lake. Diving again this time head first. Something stopped me, however, as if a force held me back from moving an inch. I cocked my head to find the ribbon in my hair has unravelled and floated to the top. Only seeing my thick curls swimming up for freedom. As I was trying to do the same.


    I did not panic, I paced my breathing to peer down to see what had me entangled. It was a hefty branch wrapping the end of my dress. Dammit! I knew I should have taken this damn thing off! I pushed my feet on the edge of the lake to push away from the branch. It didn''t work. A bubble escaped my lips floating to the top, too bad I wasn''t! I swam to the end of my dress trying to unravel my dress. I had to leave it, my life depended on it. I said to hell with it all, untying the straps of my corset and worming my body out. I bumped my shoulder coming up to the top. I felt something hoist me up, piercing me under my armpits. My body flew up out of the water onto the grass. I coughed out half of the lake.


    "Jesus Christ Vad! I was fine!" I coughed. My hair was heavy hanging over my shoulder dripping a heavy stream back into the lake. "Did not look like that from where I was fucking standing!" Catherine dropped down under a tree for shade as her breath shook. My stomach dropped, I swore it was Vadoma. Catherine would never step foot outside in the daylight. Catherine''s arms folded into her chest grouching over in pain.


    "W-wait! Are you alright?.." I arose to my feet as my body spun around. I took a step forward into the shade where Catherine resided. Catherine''s eyes pierced into me, her pupils looked through her brows as though she impaled my very being. She leaped to her feet, her hand bent around my bicep, her nails dug into my skin. I swore she lifted me in the air, my toes grazed the grass. We ran in as though we soared through the tall trees, it might have been the stress of seeing Valeria injured. I was imagining things. My eyes ran down Catherine''s body, I finally noticed her hand. Her knuckles sizzled, with a black ash substance appeared. "Catherine please allow me to see."


    "No! You stupid fucking girl! You created this! You cannot fix this!" She barked shielding her injury away. "My fault! How in the hell is this my fault? I was doing fine before you came!" I shivered realizing I hadn''t had a stitch to wear. I was nude in the kitchen. I became increasingly embarrassed, covering my body covering my chest with my hair. Not even crossing my legs hid the most important part. "Like hell you did! You were fucking drowning! If I did not risk my health for you, you would be at the bottom of the lake!" Her eyes grew red. "My dress was simply caught! I was slipping out of the dress before you came! You did not have to come to my rescue like a damsel in distress."


    "You are not fucking damsel! You are my servant! My property! You learn that fact, the better you will be for it!" Catherine growled pushing me against the countertop.


    Property?! That is what she thinks of me? I am her servant yes, but her property?


    I ran out of the kitchen to my room, Catherine''s bedroom door slammed as my body heaved up the stairs to my room. My door swung shut not leaving any air for the hinges. "Godamn her! That fucking egotistical woman! No one''s property!" I cried out dropping to my knees behind the door. I could not stop. I tried to hold my breath to make my cries silent but all it did was create sobs echoing throughout these four walls. I was angry at Catherine Valeria, why must I cry over her? She''s my employer, a rude one if that, but, a beautiful one if that. Fuck! Why! Why must such a beautiful woman hurt me so? Rip my soul, entangle me with her in livelihood just to cut me open to allow my wound to fester. Catherine Valeria must enjoy to hurt me. To see me suffer just because she is.


    My tears dripped all over the wood floors creating a puddle around my body. Still stark naked, curled up in a ball. I wanted to escape. Catherine toyed with my emotions only to destroy to hope I have.


    Fuck Catherine Valeria.

 Valerias In Hot Water

    ?Catherine''s Pov?


    For the time being, Bella has not spoken to me since yesterday evening. Not a sound escaped from my hollowed halls. Of Bella''s voice humming an exasperating tune. Her feet stomped down my stairs leaving me with an ear-piercing hemicrania soon after. For the first time since I once allowed her to stay in the castle, I miss her annoyances. I miss her happy noises. I miss her being a pest. Even if it was just a day of silence; just one day I cannot stand.


    How can one fathom? A strange girl who has brought me much pain in my skull, and more grey hairs can cause my heart to hurt so? Perhaps this is the reason I have allowed her to live so long. Longer than other servants I have kept. Bella is different. Most of the young maidens I have crossed were quiet as mice. Squeaking out a word or two at dinner. Nothing more. However, Bella was the exception. If I allowed it, Bella would go on for hours into the night. Not shutting her trap about everything and anything she desired. Hell, if something popped into her mind, she would speak it no matter the context. The only thing I enjoyed in her company was the fact she was well-read. She can conjure any conversation passed on the pretenses of something she read. Inquiring any question she had to be answered. Some I was able to answer, others I told her to dig her nose in another book again. Through the night, I wondered if I was too harsh to Bella. Perhaps my transparency through my ill intentions towards the young girl has shown its true colours. My own colours. I feel sick with the thought of why I originally brought her here.


    To have my way? To devour every inch of her body? Her senses, her veins, her lifeline? Her blood. To hearken her soft moan of ecstasy compared to the utter scream of despair as I carnaged her small frame.


    "Stop it..." I spoke in a whisper to myself. My body lay to rot in my bed. The soft red silk of my bed linings felt like sharp knives. As my bare calves glided over my bed. It touched like my bed scraped the skin off my body. I lurched my spine, hanging my feet off the edge of the bed. Allowing my ankles to rest, pointing my toes to the wooden floor. I straightened my back with every feeling of my spine crack and shake. I yawned cracking my jaw open. The pain I suffer ever so often I arise does cause for concern. Evidently, I propose that it is because I have not eaten all night. I usually allow myself to partake in a drink every few hours before sleep but not last night. I was far too much in pain from my injuries to drink the supple crimson, more or less I drank another crimson of colour. To become a drunken fool in my chambers. I may have been too drunk to remember what details had occurred in the daylight, but I do remember the look of disappointment in Bella''s eyes. The utter shock of the sight of me injured as though I was a wounded animal in need of her care. However, how could she fix this? Fix hundreds of years of cracks and destruction I have or yet to cause with my presence. Me, merely existing has scholars baffled. Though, if they knew the truth they would be in terror as the likes of the townspeople below.


    My feet finally accepted their fate falling to the floor. I do not feel hot or cold temperatures the same as the living. The living? Is that what I''m calling them now? Last century I named them food. The other people. Now I give them life? I hear their heartbeats. Feel their pain. Nor I cannot feel my own. That does sound a little disingenuous does it no? That I think the one thing that floods my brain daily, the pure endeavour of getting my hands on a crisp, lively body. Is a noun such as the living?


    "I have not a stitch to wear!" I growled examining the contents of my armoire. Must there be a stitch of clothing that is not black or red?! I am predictable! A pity! Even the more finer things of my days, I have grown tiresome. Most of the more colourful clothing has either been burned in the castle fire in 1700 or I have torn it to shreds in pure rage. Rage over memories I will never get back. My grief has not left me since that night. That unholy night. I lost everything. My children, my love, my sanity. Most importantly, my right to die alongside them.


    Not a piece of clothing appealed to me. How though, a creame coloured dress jumped out before me. Intricate black lace sewn on the shoulders to the very bottom. I initially imagined this dress was worn when I was once pregnant. For it was two sizes too big in every area of my torso. Now, I ponder if I have been gluttonous before I was changed. Perhaps this sickness I have succumbed to has made me more thin. More pleasing to the human eye. To be lured to my hands, to my lips. To be suckled on by my teeth.


    I have no use for mirrors any longer, it''s common practice for myself since birth to look at myself before I leave my bed chambers. Since recently, dare I say ''recently'' but almost 900 years ago. I can only see my cloth. My clothing was not changed, I did. I could only see the way my body curved in the dress. No more corsets that slowed me down in strides, no more powdered wigs with the uncomfortable itch and redness after long wear. Just my natural hair. Everything natural these years, though, the modern age has become more natural since my time in high society.


    I unlocked my door to see my ''medicine'' I called it, to sit on a metal tray before me on the ground. Bella may think she''s the smartest girl in the castle, but if she only popped the top of the glass pitcher she would smell something familiar as she would have smelt in her father''s doctorate. The copper metal smell of the drink of my life. My demon in a bottle. Blood.


    It''s blood you shrew girl.


    I was quite surprised, to say the least. Most days she has stayed here, no matter the squabble we were entangled in, Bella would still serve me every morning. Not a word would escape her lips until I spoke. Her heartbeat would be rather slow, as though she wanted me to bring up our issues instead of her. I found it strange. She wasn''t here. No good morning Catherine. Or Valeria if she was truly angry. Not a single solitary sound. I grew worrisome if in fact she finally left me alone. I disregarded the tray hopping over it to run down the stairs. I took a swift right to the kitchen.


    "Vadoma! Vadoma!"


    "Ce Valeria! No need to shout! Ce s-a ?ntamplat?!" She stood up from the fire she prepared as she dragged a cauldron above it.


    "Where is Bella Donna? Unde este ea?"


    "She is upstairs Valeria. Did she not bring breakfast for you this morn?" She questioned as she rolled her sleeves to her elbows.


    "Yes she did, but she wasn''t there to deliver for me."


    "Well...Valeria...you did...um how you say in English...enerveaz?-o?"


    "Enerveaz? -o? How did I piss her off?! I am the only one allowed to be angry here!"


    "On the contrary Valeria. You cannot control Bella''s emotions. As far as I know. If you can control minds you would stitch my mouth shut."


    "Hmph. You keep it up with the vampire stories and I might." An eyebrow raised as my body shaped the door frame.


    "You were hurt, I understand. However, you cannot take your pain out on a girl who has not wronged you. Her head was above water she almost got out."


    "She almost drowned Vad! I could not watch it! I had to take it upon myself to rescue her!"


    "No, in fact, you did not! You wanted to be her saviour. Instead, you became her enemy! I heard what you have said to her. You angered her. I would be too if I was said I was property."


    "That you are. But go on." I huffed stretching out my hands to see my injuries were subsiding slowly.


    "Ha! In a sense, but she is not. You have given her too much freedom and leniency. Most of the girls you bring up here to castle have died by this time. Why have you not had her yet?" Vadoma scoffed unwrapping a paper lining with meat, tossing it into the pot.


    "Maybe I don''t want to kill her yet. I have not decided. Why must you bring up the others so frequently? I have given you and your mother work for hundreds of years. The Vivda family. A long line of gypsy women with great powers throughout time. Killed out by the witch trials? Now look, Vadoma Vivda. The oldest gypsy witch. How long have you been 20 hm? One, two, three hundred years? Have you told Bell about your children? How they are all either the same age or older than their mother? Some dead? How you are on your what? 6th husband? No? I would not pass judgment Vadoma. You and I very much the same." I took a step forward to Vadoma who turned red as her dress.


    "You speak nothing of me to Bella! We are not the same Catherine Valeria! My family and my magic is tiny compared to your destruction! I bring this up since I am the mule who cleans after you! I am the one who drags bodies down mountain! I am the one who finds new fucks for you! I grow attached and all you do is fuck and eat, by the time I have grown a fondness for them, they are hollow and sucked dry."


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    "Does not seem to me that you are fond of Bella? Why is that?"


    "Because I have grown attached to every girl I bring up here and have learned better. She brought herself up here. So if that is the case, you can drag her limb hollow body down the mountainside yourself. She is upstairs. She does not want to be disturbed."


    "Fine, if that is what you wish, but I am not catering to her emotions every slightest inconvenience." I left the kitchen marching through the dining room, unlocking the undercroft. The cement stairs were dimly lit by a few candles. I wish for the day I can allow a worker in here to add more candle fixtures. Every year I walk these stairs I find it more hard to manage the flight. Not in age, hell no. It is how narrow these stairs have become over the decades. Chips and cracks in the grey, the wood sinking in on itself. This whole damn castle will go to shambles if I do not get Vadoma to hire someone.


    Nonetheless, I do not think upon myself, that no man would dare venture up here rightfully acknowledging I am lurking through these halls I call my grave. A tomb of my own bricks. The cocoon of my guilt. Regardless, I can always persuade Vadoma''s imbecile husband to come see the damage. Surprisingly, an old vampire like myself does not frighten him. Upsetting his wife is more frightening so I have heard.


    My hand tore open the cellar sliding door. Now my fun began. My stress about this Bella issue may be resolved. Hopefully. If not, I might have to kill her sooner than later. To my dismay, I have recently found out that even after death, or shall I say limbo, even vampires develop greys from stress.


    ?©¤©¤©¤?   ???   ?©¤©¤©¤?


    I have turned soft. Gluttonous dare I say, in my ''human'' life I dove into the more finer things of luxury. Even after that night, I seem to delve into leisurely activities. I have grown soft in other areas as well, not just mentally, but physically as well. A slight roundness in my stomach area which made corsets unbearable, and pillowy in my thighs that were not the issue. I found them enjoyable at least. It reminded me of Bella. Bella''s little perfect frame. Her supple sand-coloured skin hugged her body with no effort. She is shaped like the hourglass in my study. I have seen her naked on numerous accounts. She might have thought I sleep through the day, that I do, but the smallest noise can awake me from my sleep abruptly. Birds chirping, grass flowing in the breeze, Bella''s body splashes in the lake. It''s an echo. Ringing throughout my ears. I would watch her through a crack in the drapes. I did find it strange, I would watch her from afar. Hell, if she was so damn comfortable parading around my garden nude, then she would not have an issue about me watching.


    I had my fun, in my undercroft. I made my way up the stairs, to the dining room. I stepped barefoot everywhere, it was my damn home. My castle. I felt a sharp sting in my foot. It was unknown to me. It began in the biggest toe, shooting up to my ankle. I peer down to see if it was nothing. It was a line. A red line slowly formed, but no blood. Soon it will come. Obviously from a chip in the stairs. To everyone''s disbelief; vampires bleed. I hope. I have never met others except....no. I will not speak upon him. Not now. I vowed I would never utter him. Acknowledge his mere existence. His voice haunts me in my dreams. Resounds throughout the west wing where our eyes locked. On top of my daughter''s blood fleeting body.


    I dwelled on the darkest parts of my past. It''s all I can remember, should I say, the only part I allow myself to remember. The most fondest, enjoyable memories tore my soul. Rightfully to know these sweet memories will never come back to me.


    I came into the main living room, it seemed to be approaching nightfall. The window curtains were cracked, not showing any orange or yellow hues. It was black. The shade I have grown so fondly accustomed to. My sleep schedule will surely be fucked, but my castle is in shambles as is. Vadoma is spitful. Bella refuses to speak to me. I must make amends. In one way or another. Vadoma has left for the day, she leaves before night unless told otherwise. Costs me more, so to forgive her I will do it tomorrow. Bella is another story, I cannot simply barge into her room and force her to accept my apology. I must remember my interactions in my human life. To speak to her as though she was kin. Softly, and carefully for not to upset her more than I supposedly had.


    I climbed the stairs, turning left to Bella''s door. I pushed the wood to find only her cat, what did she call it? Ah yes, Roman. Curled in a fluff of a ball in his own fur. His eyes widened to greet me but he spat out a hiss retreating under her bed. She wasn''t there and now I angered the bloody cat too. I thought it was strange due to the hour, but it was not out of character. Surely she was upstairs in the library. I left her room to turn to the attic stairs. Until I heard it. The splash of water, not a giggle but a muffled sound in Bella''s voice. The bathroom door was not shut. I only let my nails weave through the threshold. I could hear it, hear her. Bella''s heartbeat grew garish. Chopping in and out. It did sound familiar but not from Bell herself. I have heard it elsewhere. I did not want to disturb her for it was the bathroom nevertheless but I was curious about what I found. Something that would make anyone shriek in either embarrassment or shock.


    In this century I do believe they call it self-pollution? A term I only heard from another maiden I had before Bella. It seems the church sees self-pleasuring yourself in or out of wedlock is a form of abuse to you and god. I see no harm, I had to resist the urge to go over to assist Bella. She looks like an oil painting, her body slumped in the tub with enough water to cover her torso and her hips. Deep enough to her neck. Her brown wild curls were tamed in a braid as it was draped over her shoulder. Her plump breasts broke the water''s surface with droplets of water scurrying down back to the slow waves of the tub. Her rosed nipples glistened with the shine of candles surrounding the side of the tub. Bella''s grasp held firm on the tub as her other hand dipped under the water waves to her abyss. The water clouded with soap not allowing me to see her technique. Not because my way does not help the urge but for curiosity''s sake. Even so, I could use it the next time she falls asleep when my urges are too hard to bear.


    The muffled noises I heard were her soft moans hidden behind a bitten bottom lip. The sounds of water sloshing leaving droplets on the floor grew as did so her grip on the tub''s edge. Her heartbeat pounded in my ears like a drum. I was hyper with excitement to see the most pleasurable moment on any woman''s face. To reach the point of no return. The thing I most craved from anyone yet never beg for. Adorement. Adoring herself wasn''t enough for me. I needed her now. Not a way a bloodthirsty wolf needs a lamb, but in pure desire. I wanted Bella to share the same pleasurable look with me. Any time of the day, anywhere in this castle. I wanted to bring her down to her knees and make her heartbeat soar like it is now. Her orgasm to be mine, as mine would be hers.


    Ba-dum, Ba-dum, Ba-dum....Ba-dum...Ba...Dum...Ba...Dum


    "Oh god-..." She let out a whisper as her hand loosened dropping it in the water. Her breath was heavy. Her body slumped lower as her head dipped quickly under water coming back up. Her cheeks reddened as she wiped water from her eyes. Her heart settled to its normal pace I am used to. I stretched my knee out only for me to hit my cut foot on the door frame.


    "Ow! Shit!" I turned in the hall sucking air through my teeth.


    "Catherine!?" Bella''s voice rasped out exhaling beads of water out.


    Shit! Fuck! Run!


    I bolted back to my room. I never used my ''enhanced'' skills in the castle but if I was to be caught Bella would have been more angry if I spied on her. Who would have known? Someone before who never ran a day in her life could run as fast as the wind blew. Amazing. I locked my bedroom door standing behind it like a small child. In fear. No, I do not fear Bella but in fear, I have been discovered. I sighed a breath of relief without the sound of being followed behind. It was dead silent once again. Humanity has been restored. Or so I think.


    A knock startled me on the door. I considered millions of things I could do. Pretend I was sleeping? No. Read? No. I had to swallow my pride and take accountability for my actions.


    "Yes?" I choked out.


    "If you need to go in the bathroom Valeria, you can." Bella''s voice was lower in tune.


    "Um-...no I think I''ll be fine Bell."


    "Fine." I heard her heels scuff the carpet turning away from my door. I had to speak to her, it was the human thing to do. "Bella?" I swung the door open.


    "Whatever is it?" Bella''s body turned in a white cotton linen wrapped under her arms. Most of her hair was dry except for the tail end of her braid.


    "I''m...sorry."


    "Sorry? Sorry for what?"


    "For calling you my servant."


    "Well that''s what I am, am I not?"


    "Yes...I mean no! I-...oh damn you! Just take my apology and go back to normal."


    "Not until you apologize for what you actually said." Her arms crossed over her wet linen shaping the shape of her damp body.


    "Fuck! Fine! I am sorry I called you my property. I was injured and took my pain out on you. Happy?" The lump in my throat dissolved as my words ran out.


    "Yes. Very."


    "Goddamnit, it is like pulling teeth with you I swear."


    "Life is more fun that way, Catherine."


    "Haha! No. It is like you pulling out my hair, strand by strand with your antics. You seem to have more fun around here than I do." I choked out before realizing what I just confessed to. I knew this would not be the last I heard of it. She will think I am some pervert. Creep even.


    "Well, Valeria. Life is not a spectator sport. Unless you like to watch? Hm?" She giggled adjusting the linen around her chest.


    "Go, I do not need you to soak my hall rugs."


    "I bet that''s not the only thing soaked in these halls huh Catherine?" Bella turned as her body trotted down the hallway.


    "Urgh, you are an insufferable tease, are you aware?" I chuckled as I leaned my forehead against the wood of the door frame. Bella stopped before her door, her head cocked over her shoulder. "I thought you liked that part of me, Catherine? To tease?"


    "Ha, you think so? Go dress yourself before I do something you will regret."


    "You think I would regret it? You are deeply mistaken." She turned the door handle ushering her body through the threshold. Girls. I cannot live with them, nor can I live without them. Bella is just one girl I cannot get ahold of. It is quite peculiar. From the surface, we tease each other relentlessly. She obviously thinks nothing of it; taunting me with every move she made of her body. Creating the right amount of noise to disturb me as if she were a clock. Notifying me with every toe touch to each stair. Depending on her mood, how heavy her body would weigh out on the wood. I am beginning to enjoy our little game. Cat and mouse sort to speak. Deep down, I do believe I am the Cat in my domain. However, I soon realized I was not the strong feline. I am the rabid sickly mouse. Searching for cheese that had a pulse.

 When The Sun Sets

    I got what I deserved. An apology from Valeria. Hopefully, an actual, meaningful one. If not, it does suffice. It''s a start to say the very least.


    Catherine and I ate our dinner in peace. I did not wish to pester her too much as of late. I considered our endeavour yesterday to be enough for the time being. I do love to harass her, though I was fearful to push too far. Our entanglement with each other was something I could not figure. I am a servant yes, be that as it may, our professional relationship has gone astray. Vadoma prepared a lovely meal for supper, before she left, she made a tomato soup dish. Curated with chicken, carrots and potatoes. Valeria hardly touched her soup. She swirled her spoon to make it seem as though she was eating, though, she never lifted her spoon to her mouth. All she did was rotate between her medicine and wine. A liquid diet tonight. Nothing out of sorts.


    "Do you not like your meal, Valeria?" I finished my last scoop in my bowl, disregarding it forward. Catherine looked over through her wine glass swirling the contents in a circle. "I do. Frankly, I felt faint before dinner. I did not feel like eating much."


    "Oh, I see. Would you like me to prepare something else for you? Bread or cheese to pair with your drinks?" I swirled my water in the glass parting my lips to drink. "Ha, the only thing you know how to prepare? Cut bread and take the cheese out of the cold cupboard?"


    "Ha! I will have you know you did not complain during the winter months when that was being served."


    "Yes, because you and I would have starved if not! You know nothing about the kitchen." Catherine chuckled as her legs crossed under the cloth of her dress exposing a glimpse of her knee. Our eyes met for a moment, not relenting. Not breaking our stare. It was sweet, to have but a silent moment with Catherine without the tension of causing her distress. Our stare-down broke as Catherine flipped her hair behind her shoulder. "Bell? Do you like to stare?" Catherine adjusted her shoulders forward in her chair. The fire roared behind her, masking the shadows behind her to give a slim frame as she sat in her usual chair. "Perhaps, perhaps you are the only pretty thing to look at in the darkness of these castle halls." I sipped the last drop of the water in my glass. Her stare regained its strength as quickly as her smile appeared. "Hm...so you think I am pretty huh?" Valeria traced her rather long nail on the dining room table. Creating a small yet not too noticeable carving in the wood. I gulped hard as if I swallowed a pit of a peach. The air was thick with the unadulterated silence we sat in for a moment. Until I began to breathe again.


    "Well...Valeria you asked...I answered..."


    "You always have a whimsical way of admitting you were caught hm? It''s alright. I do not mind. At least you are not staring at these shabby walls." Valeria arose from her seat. "Now, you can watch me leave. Then you can clean up." Valeria parted her hair down the middle of her scalp, as she pushed it forward to her chest. Her body swayed to the dining room door, leaving me to my lonesome.


    ???????


    It was odd, to hear the constant noise of Valeria. The humming of her voice echoed in her bedroom. Loud creeks within the floor. To the very point, it piqued my interest. I crossed the threshold of my doorframe to the hallway, my feet spoke but a whisper on the rug in fear of being discovered. It wasn''t in fear, or so I imagined. It was sheer curiosity. Curiosity has close bedfellows with fear. Coinciding in fact. My hand left from my side to press firmly on Valeria''s door. The sounds of her feet drew to a halt. They made a loud shuffle close to the door. The handle turned clockwise ever more quickly than my eyes could catch.


    "Yes, Bell?" Catherine''s arm slid up the doorframe exposing her arm and a glimpse of her bicep. She has put on her usual


    "What on earth are you doing? Hearding elephants?" The one stray curl fell in front of my eyes, I shooed it away in a puff of breath. Her low Romanian accent chuckled. The black dress torn to shreds, her usual attire, was not worn this evening. She changed out in a crimson red dress. One I never thought she would own. However, I never saw her in anything else. It was the same shade of red as the dress I own. Despite I have not worn that certain shade in days. I dawned on my white nightgown and a corset. "I am sorry. Am I causing a disturbance, dear Bell? I would not want to be a pest in my own home." Valeria joked pushing her hair off her shoulder. Her eyes darted down from my feet to my chest. "What are you wearing?" Her hand left the door frame to attach to my tied waist. Her nails scratched the silk fabric. "Well...I found it in a drawer in the library. I hope you are not upset." My eyes rushed to where her hand lay. Valeria''s facial expression did not change. I could not tell if it was her usual monotone face with underlying anger built up. "No...not in the literal sense...I-I just remember where this is from. Someone refused to wear it because it was olive green and not emerald green. So, she decided to hide it and said she had lost it on our trip to Paris." She giggled which made me smile. I never heard such a noise escape her lips.


    "Was it a relative? It does feel quite new?" My hands stroked the sides of my waist to feel the new stiff fabric. Valeria''s hands left my body to touch a tiny gold bracelet on her wrist. It gleamed bright against her rather sickly pale tone. "It was in fact...however, you do look more exquisite. Oilve suits you Bell." Catherine''s hand raised moving her bracelet lower down her arm. Her hand touched my chin softly lifting it to meet her eyes. My cheeks heaten, as though I held a candle too close to my face. Her darkened eyes sparkled.


    "So, I propose...I mean-...I was wondering if you would join me in the common room in a few moments?" Valeria''s hand left my chin flipping her hair behind her shoulder. I was startled at first, Valeria had never asked me anything. It was always a demand. Her asking was a new concept.


    "Whatever you have in mind, I will happily join Valeria."


    "Good girl, now go get Roman out of the library. I can hear him scratching the floors again."


    "Damn you Rom." I turned my back storming off up the stairs. To find Roman scratching the wood baseboards. "Roman! No!"


    "Mew," My black ball of fluff squeaked out as if he was caught red-handed. His big green eyes bulged out of his head. His ears drew back ready to leap towards me. "Roman? Roman, don''t you dare." His fluffy paws galloped towards flying at my ankles. "No! Hey!"


    ???????


    After Roman very ferociously attacked my ankles, I scurried down the stairs to the common room. There, stood Valeria in front of the fireplace. Her hand ran along the mantel. Her nails screeched the wood with an ear-piercing echo.


    "Ah, Belly, did you take care of your feline?" Valeria''s body turned to face me with a rather new cheery disposition. It seemed as though I was in one of my dreams. Where Catherine Valeria is kind to me. The fond kindness I so seldom crave but reject. The advances of a domineering and so beautiful woman that any man can make. "I did. As you can tell, he was not pleased with me." I raised my dress to show the wounds upon my ankles. "Little fucker. We should file his nails if he persists." She lifted my skirt higher above my calf inspecting the scratches. I swatted her hand with the sensation she wanted to go higher. Valeria cackled lifting her head back. "Oh come now, I was not going to do anything. Your dress was simply in my way." She trailed on whisking my hand in hers to drag me along.


    "In your way of what? My thighs?!"


    "The holy land..." She mumbled under her breath. "To what?"


    "Nothing Bell, would you hurry up! I want to show you something." Her grip on my hand tightened leading me through the kitchen.


    "Where on earth are we going, Valeria?" I peered around the kitchen to see the surprise until I saw Valeria''s hand turn the door handle. "Valeria! No!" I halted pulling her hand to stop her in her tracks. "Why? Why must we stop?" Her head cocked over her shoulder to see my frightened expression. "You cannot go outside! Why put your health in risk."


    "No, no iubito. The sun will hurt me, not the moon. I can come outside at night." She grinned as she yanked me outside of the castle. "Then why in the bloody hell have we not done this sooner?!" I joked trying to let go. Her grip was firm as she dragged me through the tall grass. "Haha! I never thought of it. Plus it is a full moon. I wanted to do something special." We past the shed where Valeria first found me, going to the broken gate I once walked through. "W-we are leaving? Is that safe?"


    "Darling, don''t fret. You will be safe with me. Always. I promise." She led me a sharp left up a small hill. Past tall trees and the tallest green grass intertwined in knots. "You see that light Belly? That''s where we are headed. Can you walk on your own or must I baby you?" She joked seeing my bare feet get caught in the knots.


    "I can manage Valeria. I am a fully capable individual." Valeria let my hand go to allow me to move freely beside her. "And for your information, I do not need to be doted on every step of the wa-...umph..." My toe caught on a knotted piece of grass wanting my body to fall forward. Valeria''s hand swooped in front of my body under my chest to catch me. "Doted on huh? I just told you I would keep you safe. I will not have a piece of grass kill you."


    "Well thank you for that." I huffed catching my breath. Her hand still resided below my chest. Her hand left my body to retreat to my hand. "You know Bell, you can let go of your independent woman ideas to be treated like a lady for a night right? It will not hurt." Valeria''s heels scraped the dirt out of its home up another hill.


    "I could try, it is not in my nature."


    "Bella, I am not asking you to get married and be with child in the fortnight. I just want you to be treated like a lady. So, with that, you will care to partake in some star gazing Milady?" To the top of the hill. Laid a course-knitted red blanket from one if not many guest rooms. Lit with torchiere candles. A black bottle of wine sat solely with two glasses joining it. Of course, her medicine was hidden behind the wicker basket. I was in awe more than shock. To think Catherine Valeria would ever do such a thing.


    This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.


    "Oui! How ever did you concoct this?" I sat down on the blanket as Valeria sat next to me. The stars brightly showed off their colours in hues of yellow and white. "Well, I thought our little tiff the other day was resolved but something did not sit well. I thought I may apologize another way." Valeria uncorked the wine letting the cork fly deep in the woods. "That and Vadoma hatched the whole picnic thing. Thought it would be lovely. She''s the one who set it up. All I did was ask." She poured one glass, handing me the first one. Pouring a second one for herself, even though I protested her drinking a third glass for it would cause her to be a stumbling drunk. We were celebrating something, after all, I did not care. Nor have I ever tasted wine. Yes, maybe my father''s sherry and communion wine but nothing of this sort. My first sip was sour with a sweet aftertaste.


    "Well, Vad is great with her imagination." I took another sip. Watching Valeria take a heavier sip than I did. "Yeah, a great imagination on the one. Thinking I was a vampire. Ha! She lets that mind of hers run wild." She spoke through the glass as her eyes darted at the sky. I never saw Valeria this close before. Surely in my dreams but never this real. A glimpse of red in her eyes I only saw in anger. Or so I thought. I initially thought she had deep browns but in the candlelight, it seemed her eyes were a crimson red. Sparkling red rubies. The way her canine teeth poked out was sharp enough to cut through her bottom lip. I swore if she bit the glass it would surely break. "Ha, yeah, crazy. Why do people think that of you Valeria? Even the townsfolk spoke of you in such a manner."


    "You know it from experience Miss Bella Donna, people are scared of different people. Different ways people live their lives. Especially women. Women are held under such strain to be perfect, and loving and mothers. That one mistake will cost your life. It''s why I stay up here. Away from everyone." Valeria huffed leaning into the wicker basket. She held a gold pipe filling the hold with crushed tobacco. She lit a match that illuminated our faces until it was fanned away.


    "Is that why you chose seclusion? You made a mistake?"


    "In a sense. I made the mistake of living in luxury and begging for the finer things over my family. Caring too much about how people see me. Allowing anyone with a title in my home. In which that cost my family." She exhaled a puff of smoke swirling around my face. She coughed out.


    "I do not think it is your fault, Valeria, in your circumstances, you were given luxury. Handed to you. You seem not the sort to be brought up. You were taught."


    "Honey, thank you for the sentiment but I know I fucked up. My family is gone. They''re not coming back. I cannot buy anything to bring them back."


    "You cannot write? Speak of your loneliness to summon them back?"


    "No Bella. They''re dead. All of them. My parents, my relatives, my good-for-nothing husband and my children. Writing will not bring them back." She coughed again smoking her pipe. Handing to my hands. I grew too close the Valeria''s breaking point. I did not want to overstep. In fear, our perfect night might be soured by her running off.


    "I-I am sorry Valeria." I softly inhaled, and to exhale felt like I was coughing up my lung. She reached for it back smirking the clever way she did so slyly. "What?"


    "No matter, no need for another to cry over my sorrow." Catherine lifted her glass to her lips, her canines halted the glass until she held it lower. "We''re supposed to be having fun? This feels more like a wake than fun Belly." She finished the contents of her glass laying flat on her back. "Come, look! The stars have twinkles look!" Catherine padded me to join her, my back fell beside hers allowing only our shoulders to touch. Her hand reached out in front of us, pointing out every little star that shone more bright than the other. She was amazed by the littlest thing. "Look Bell! Look!"


    "I am! I am!" I chuckled steering her hand out of my line of vision. "If you would move your damn arm out of the way maybe I could see!" We both giggled as if we were children. Catherine dropped her arms rolling to her side to face me. "I was only showing you what I saw. For someone so open-minded, you are a stick in the mud."


    "I am not! You never let me do anything fun with you! If you would let me, then you would see how fun I am!" I was a tad offended by her remark. I rolled over to my side to face Catherine dead on to tell her what for. If I knew she wanted fun I would have created something in the castle for her.


    "Oh come now, I am only joking. No need to get your pretty face all red." Catherine''s hand grasped my cheek trailing down my jaw. "In the many years I have lived in the castle. You have had an abundant amount of fun. Sure a few grey hairs but overall a joy."


    "Grey hairs? Where? I don''t see any." I lifted my head to see not a grey hair anywhere on Catherine''s hair. I laid back to see Catherine grinning ear to ear.


    "Haha! Well, you cannot see them in this light Belly."


    "Sure and I''m the Queen of England."


    "Haha shut up!" Catherine''s hands found my waist tickling my sides. My body jolted flinging myself forward. My head fell into Catherine''s collarbone. "No, no, stop! Haha! Catherine!" My hands waved every which way catching onto Catherine''s bicep. "Why? You seem to enjoy it." Catherine kidded with her hands still attached to my sides. Her hands stopped moving, her head turned up to the sky. "Bella? Quick! Look." I turned to see why the sudden stop to see a swarm of bats flew overhead.


    "Wow...Catherine."


    "I know..." The swarm covered the moon effortlessly for a brief moment with howls of their little mouths. Catherine''s fingers traced my waist again, still in awe over the hoard of bats flying overhead. "Bell?" My head rotated back to face Catherine''s. Her eyes were unrelenting, peering into my soul. Not in a choice of anger, but in a much different form. I could not ponder what she was thinking. "Yes, Mrs. Catherine Valeria?" My hand still held Catherine''s bicep. "I am very happy you agreed to join me tonight."


    "As am I. I never thought you come outside."


    "Well, I will always be happy to join you if you are up for an adventure." Catherine''s left hand rose from my waist to cup my cheek again. Leading down behind my neck, her nails grazed my hair. The bats left our field of vision, with not a single solitary noise but our shallow breaths between us. For the first time since I met the infamous Catherine Valeria, her sickness ailed her body temperature at alarming rates. Despite that, Catherine''s skin was warm. Her warm smile I have yet grown accustomed to quite yet appeared with the wary fondness of her skin. Catherine nudged her head closer to mine. I had an idea of what she was thinking, perhaps it was the wine I drank calculating my downfall. My brain was full of fuzz.


    "Hm..." She leaned further laying her lips upon mine. Her lips were soft, almost silken, and pillowy against my own. I could feel the soft tickle of her breath beneath my nose, fingers carding through my hair as we breathed each other in. Catherine gently let my face go falling onto her back. Her eyes darted back to me. I, still frozen to my side. Trapped in her gaze. Not fully grasping what just took place, but rightfully acknowledging it was something I thought of fondly. To have it happen in such a quick yet peaceful way. I finally regained the movement of my body to hoist myself to sit up.


    "Bell? What is wrong?" Catherine still lay with her hair scattered behind her head with a haze of effort. The constant fixes of her dark hair. "I-I just felt dizzy, I need a moment." My head fell into my lap in my drunk state or a battle of my own emotions. Of course to kiss Catherine was extraordinary, deep down the morals I was raised with spoke a different tune. I left those morals behind in Media?. Perhaps those ideas of being infatuated with women were wrong in the eyes of the church. However, I see no saints. No monks up on this mountain. No churches. Not a single bible in Catherine''s grandiose library. Just Catherine.


    Catherine''s hand trailed down my back. "Had your minute? Come lay back down with me." She hummed, allowing her other hand to reach above her head. She hiccuped at the beginning of our drunken night, glazed eyes searching for her medicine. "Here, allow me." The swirling of my inners stopped momentarily to notice her struggle. I didn''t know it was one of her tricks at the time. My hips stayed still as my torso spun to face Catherine, she was bigger than I in stature so to get around her was not an option. Hell, in the state, my head was in, nothing was a beneficial option. I crawled over Catherine''s body to retrieve her glass bottle of medicine. I instantly knew this was where I messed up. Once my hand held a firm grip on the shaft of the bottle, so did Catherine''s hands around my waist to yank me back to her. A small gasp escaped my lips as my head hit Catherine''s shoulder. "Ah! Catherine! You almost made me drop your medicine. Would you want that?"


    "Shh...Belly...just lay here with me. Rest." Her hand tangled in my hair.


    "We cannot! You cannot be out by mourn."


    "Bell..it''s fine. I''ll stay awake. Rest your head, sweet girl."


    "Fine. You better not fall asleep, I-I do not want you to roast."


    "Haha, I will be fine. Sleep frumoasa." Catherine''s hand swiped away little strands from my forehead planting a small kiss. Infinite gratitude. A dream come true. In our little world. There is peace.

 Bump In The Night

    The other night was all my mind could conjure. The interlock of our lips in a very heated moment. To only allow the stars and swarms of bats to witness it. Deep down, I knew rightfully so it was wrong. Immoral. How though, no one was here to tell us otherwise. So how immoral can it be?


    I snuck up to the library early this morning to devour a fairly large book that caught my eye. The name has little importance but for whatever reason I had in mind I was destined to consume its contents. It was as though it challenged me. Made a mockery of my intellect. Luckily, later into the night, I was half done. Completely enthralled in the tale of woe of the daunting yet predictable female lead. I was disturbed by a echoed rattle. Not much as a rattle but more so an ear-piercing thump. As though one of the bookshelves had fallen over. I feared Roman may have been the culprit and also feared he may have been seriously injured. I shot out of my bed to the flight of stairs. I turned at the top of the stairs to the library, nothing was a miss. Roman was nowhere to be found. Neither was a mess. My eyes caught the window adjacent to the couch. The rain that hit the castle furiously this evening had lightened. Revealing the moon. It was a Hunter''s Moon. I rather liked the term Blood Moon, just for the fact of the full moon''s colour. The colour of blood. Full in its fullest figure, yet so dark in its crimson. My father spoke of the full moon creating havoc among people. He claimed it was the extra moisture in the air or soil in light of the moon''s fullness. It made some people, some societies even delve into madness until the wee hours of the morning.


    My initial thought was obstructed by the same noise I first heard. The very noise that led me up here. I tip-toed out of the library to the main hall. The door was shut to the abandoned room. The very room hung with paintings galore. I turned the handle, laying a hand on the wood to gently push the door open. It was Catherine. Drunk again seemingly conversing with the dust-filled paintings again. This time however she seemed more cross than the last time I found her in this state.


    "F-fuck you! You never truly showed me affection you u-unruly bastard!" She hiccuped, as her hand tossed her empty wine glass towards a portrait of a grey-haired man in a stuffy blue overcoat. The bottle shattered. "S-some husband you were! I have more g-grey hairs than orgasms from you!" She coughed. "Fuck...I am starving!" Catherine''s hand drug across her chin to appear red wine stained on her skin. Her foot took a misstep to grasp onto the wine bottle on the lonely table. Her ankle slipped underneath her dress, and Catherine caught herself on the table using her arm to push her body up. Catherine''s dress was more torn than in other encounters I have had with her. The cloth covering her back was torn to shreds. In a way, it gave me the impression perhaps something was causing her discomfort. Itching. Scratching too hard to the point of tearing through the fabric. My feet bolted to the ground when my findings were halted. My breath stopped, something caught my eye that I wanted to investigate further. Her bare back was exposed, and her skin was effortlessly clear with not an imperfection on the outside. On the inside, however, she never disclosed another ailment that has come to light. Her spine. From her hips, her spine poked out straight. Like normal, however, as her spine crept up to her shoulder blades it began to curve. Inwards, not out. I''ve seen this type of spinal injury with mule workers when their ass runs them over accidentally. Though, Catherine''s never healed. Shaped like an upside-down J. It looks like it must be painful. Perhaps the reason so stand so tall was from this past injury. How have I never seen this?


    "Catherine?... Are you alright?" I questioned. "Maybe you should lie down." I announced my presence so as to not frighten her. Her body cocked, her spine cracked. Her hair fell around her face only allowing her reddened eyes to shine through her dark locs. "N-no. I am fine Bell. G-go back to bed. I need to eat." Her body straightened pushing past me. "Allow me to help you Cath-..." I trailed on behind her running after her down the flight of stairs. "No! G-go away, Bella! I need t-to eat a-alone!" Catherine spun around sticking her hand out towards me. She pointed at my bedroom door. "Go," She slurred. "I do not want you there."


    "Oh...okay...goodnight Catherine." I peered over at my door before I looked back to Catherine to see she disappeared. No goodnight. Not sweet dreams from Catherine. How strange. The moon must be affecting her. Vadoma did leave early today for some reason. I swore I saw her later in the evening but maybe it was just a tree. I suppose I must follow Catherine''s orders. I do not want to disobey again.


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    I could not fall asleep. How can I? The very look on Catherine''s face was unsettling. A look I have never encountered. Wish I never did. Her brows furrowed with the tinged of red bleeding through her pupils turning the once ebony shade to dark crimson. Her face haunts me when I shut my eyes. Burnt in memory.


    I tossed and turned furiously, the sheets ripped off the bed tangling in my legs. I felt like they were suffocating me, I could not breathe. I leaped out to the floor where Roman resided. It was too hot for him in bed also. I had to speak to Catherine. Her behaviour was out of sorts. She was a drunken mess but this was a new version I have never witnessed. It was strangely concerning. For the mere fact, it is late in the night. Any medical attention she may need will have to wait till morning.


    I left my bedroom and shuddered the very thought of what Catherine will say for not obeying her command, but, this was essential. I had to be sure she was safe. My toes buried themselves into the carpet leading to Catherine''s room. My hand shook to dare touch the wood of her door to push it open. To my surprise it was unlocked, untouched. Catherine''s body was not carved into the red bedding that lay upon the white linens. They were flat. My concern grew, or would I call it my curiosity? I wonder. I darted back to my side of the floor maintaining a balanced speed. Catherine was not in the library nor the room of paintings. I sensed I flew down the stairs to her study. Possibly, she may have worked out her drunken state and is asleep in her study. Sadly no sign of her.


    "Where the hell are you Catherine?" I huffed a whisper. I returned to the front parlor examining every area I had checked. The only place in question I have not checked was the west wing. The very place I dread the most. I had to face my demons head-on. Even if it was Catherine Valeria''s rage. I made my way back up the stairs turning right to the west-wing stairs. They creaked every step my feet placed upon the boards. The air felt hollow, stale even. Each step that got me closer to the top made my lungs halt. I was having issues breathing. My back hunched over at the top of the stairs, trying to regain my breath again. Something caught the corner of my eye, floating near my ankle. It was not Roman, which made me regain my breath until my heart stopped when I straightened my back. To find her. Not Catherine, but her daughter. Floating before me. I was never able to be this close, although, I could tell she was Catherine''s daughter. The facial structure and nose were painfully similar. She seemed not to be cross, just merely observing. I took a step back with the stair railing behind my back.


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    "She is not here-..." She spoke. "She is under the castle..."


    "Who? Valeria? What do you mean under the castle?"


    "Mother...she is very ill...the door-...with lock." Her body floated sticking her arm out past my frame. Back down the stairs, pointing to the dining room.


    "How do I get in if it is locked?" I was aghast. To think I was having a mere conversation with a spirit of Catherine''s whereabouts.


    "Mother has left it unlocked. She is down there...m-my mother is gone...all that remains is Catherine Valeria...a monster..." She sniffled. Wiping away a tear with her sleeve.


    "Now, I do not care if your mother is sick. I would not dare you to call her monster."


    "See for yourself...Bella Donna...you have not seen hell...you will see it in her eyes..." Her tears transpired down her puffed cheeks. Her body cascaded, fading within the walls. How on earth did she know my name? Had Catherine spoken of me? What did that conversation entail? She spoke of the door in the dining room. Under the castle? She must speak of the undercroft. The separate floor underground. That was one place in specific Catherine told me especially I would not dare venture. In these circumstances, however, I am required to venture there. No matter what the spirit said. Her daughter may want to lure me down. Perhaps she infact is the monster.


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    To think I have taken advice from a spirit that has not breathed a word to me in the duration of my stay. My feet dragged along the hardwood to the unlocked door.


    It was the unknown, the dark forest green door creaked a shrill tone as my fingers slid between the hinge and wood parting it slowly. Not fully grasping what was behind. For all I know, Catherine might be behind the door prepared to scold me. Once the door spread open, it was enough for my body to slide through. I came to realize it was a flight of stairs. Longer than the stairs in the parlour. The candle fixtures mounted to what seemed to be rock lit my way down the flight. My feet found their positioning taking the first step.


    "Ouch!" I groaned shushing myself. I examined what I was standing on to make this sharp pain in my foot cease. It was chips of rocks from the staircase. The stairs were entirely made of stone. Crumbly stone if that. Every step was more steep going further down. More stone sharply dissolved. The very foundation of this castle hung in the balance if this stone would fall. It would be pure chaos. I held my hand out against the rock for something to hold myself not to fall. These stairs curled to the right in a spiral. I smelt a very odd smell. A familiar one. Copper. It was laced through this entire castle. The smell of Catherine''s medicine. It was more pungent than in her vase. It burnt the hairs in my nose. It was not sour by no means, it smelt more of my father''s medical office back in London. He had a soldier from battle on his table. The poor boy was no older than myself at the time, he lost so much blood for the king, that our floors were soaked for months. The same smell I grew accustomed to in that old home. The blood.


    I had three more steps to conquer. My hand slid on the rock leaving a large stinging sensation. I stopped to examine what was the matter, hence no candle was lit at the bottom. I leaned forward to see another light taking a misstep. Fearing the inevitable, I fell forward onto my knee. "Ah!" I groaned. "Bad idea." Both my hand and knee stung leaving a cool impression. Like I lifted water from the tub after a bath. I was bleeding. I arose only to have the sting reappear in my knee as it straightened.


    "Catherine?...Hello?" I began to walk on more stone, the light fading in and out as I ventured closer to what seemed like the middle of the undercroft. The hair on the back of my neck stood fiercely at the faint noises humming in my ears. No happy sounds I assure you. The sounds that are in the dark recesses of memory are unlocked. The memory of these noises floods back to me. To see her, frail and feeble. Her blackened fingers from internal decay. The painful lesions scattered like ants all over her discoloured body. Forbidden to give her one final kiss goodbye. My mother in pain. Suffering.


    My stomach dropped as I halted to a barn door. The hinges were on the top rolling to either side. My ears began to ring as I held out my uninjured hand to the door handle. Ringing grew more loud as I dragged the door to the right on its hinge. The door made no noise for its weight. I concentrated on being silent more than what was on the other side.


    "Help...urgh..." I glance threw the space I created. The room was filled with red everywhere your eyes could lay upon. Barrels upon barrels stacked tall. There hung a man, upside down by his ankles in shackles. His blood dripped down into a wood crate. One of this man''s intestines hung past his shoulder almost grazing the crate. In front of the crate was a black mass. Moving vividly. It was Catherine! Catherine Valeria! Her back straightened on a small stool. Her hands soaked in this poor soul''s blood. Swiping her tongue over every inch of her hands. Her eyes glew the very same scarlet shade as the room.


    I was in shock. Holding my breath in fear Catherine would do the same fate. I watched as Catherine took this man''s intestine in her hand intertwining it. The man groaned in agony. Pleading wimpers. It was the same vision as my dreams of her. Playing with my insides. I could puke.


    "No! Please!" I screamed. My head pounded, my ears rang furiously. I was nauseous. Catherine dropped this now dead man''s inner workings peering over her shoulder. Her chin was stained with blood leading down her neck. She had a devious smile plastered on her face. Once our eyes locked the smile faded. "Bella? Bella!" She arose to see her entire chest was stained in splatters of her victim. Once her body lifted off the stool. I ran out. Racing up the stairs not letting my feet touch the stone.


    "The stupid villagers were right?! How the fuck does that come to be?!" I cried out not catching my breath in. "S-she''s a bloody vampire!" I got to the top of the undercroft stairs slamming the door. I pushed a dishware cabinet in front of the door, that will surely give me enough time. Enough time for what? Do I leave? Do I pretend to rush upstairs to bed? I was never here? Yes? No? Yes! Pretend to sleep and be gone by morning. My breaths were shallow and continued to get cut off by the other. My heart pounded in my ears with the mixture of ringing. My eyes showed black and white sparkles all around the room. I held my neck up prepared to lose my balance again. My eye caught on a blue light in the dining room door adjacent to the parlour. Her daughter surely, ready to tell me so.


    "Bella! Behind you!" She shrieked out wisping away as I pivoted. Catherine stood behind me. Furiously furrowing her brow. Her blood-stained hand shot out around my neck. The sparkles in my eyes turned more dark than white as I saw my feet dangle.


    "What. Did. You. Do!" Catherine hissed. Her reddened eyes turned black as nightfall. Truly a hellish picture.


    "I-I-please..." My hand reached under hers to grab hold of her wrist. With barely any strength in my injured palm. It slipped with my blood trailing down her forearm. My neck tilted. All I could was black.

 Fangs Are Odd Bedfellows

    What have I done?...


    I rolled my head over my shoulder. My eyes were glossed over in a white pigment of sleep. I felt my hand move from what felt like my pillow to my eyes. The smell of copper still flooded my nostrils. Now knowing it was blood. How could I have been such a fool? My hand was held in front of my face still not clear, but an outline of my hand was visible. I began to wipe my eyes with my knuckles only to feel a rough cloth tied rather too tight in the middle of my hand. It seemed to have some weight against my palm. My vision was restored to see a thick layered bandage around my palm, tied tight enough to make fingers go numb. I swore the tips of my fingers were turning purple.  I was also aware that I was most definitely not in my room. My room was plain. Modest one would say. No more than my possessions, a bed and a few cabinets to store said possessions. This room was well lived in. I was curious about all of the paintings and trinkets until I noticed the familiar door I was so accustomed to seeing the outside of. This is Catherine''s room. I am lying in her bed. I should know, I wash her linens. The same linen with a small black hole burnt in it. I pondered it would have been from a pipe but now I am unsure.


    My leg crept up to my stomach to figure out I was bare under these blankets. A sheer sense of panic began to settle. My brain awakened begging to flee. However, I had the same sense I was not alone. I was in bed by my lonesome but the feeling of eyes watching my movements were strong.


    "So? You are finally up Belly." Catherine''s voice boomed making the paintings scattered across the walls. I turned to my right to see the corner of her bedroom was a desk the same size as her study. Covered in piles of books. Some were unnamed, others had titles. Catherine sat in a wooden chair with a mechanism in it to spin. Her face was clean from blood but her chest still had small faint spats. Her face seemed more tired than she normally was. Her anger settled with the teary eyes she presented. She held a beige drawstring bag in one hand, whilst the other held what seemed to be either clay or wooden pipe. I knew it was a burn hole in the sheets.


    "Catherine? Why am I here?" I yawned sitting up, I swiftly reached down to her bedsheet to cover my exposed chest. Even if Catherine has seen me nude on multiple occasions. This was not a happy occasion. She sat in silence not uttering a single tune. Catherine pushed a large clump of tobacco into the pipe roughly. With little pieces of tobacco lodging under her nails. Igniting the pipe with a crooked match. She inhaled, taking in the smoke for a moment before finally exhaling a large puff of smoke.


    "You had an awful fall in the parlour Bella." Catherine coughed. "I found you beside the mantel. I do not know why the hell you were there but thank god your injuries were minor." Her lips pursed inhaling again. "I was not in the parlour and you know that. We were in the dining room."


    "Were we? I cannot recall." She exhaled circling the bowl of her pipe with her thumb. "I would imagine when you fell you had some pretty damning dreams. You spoke in your sleep frequently."


    "Dreams? Is that what we are calling this Valeria?" I raised my tone not fully accepting my fate but hell, what more do I have to lose? "Are we going to ignore the fact I watched you feasting on a mans-"


    "Bella!" She interrupted. "It was all in your head darling, you were dreaming of a ghastly scene of gore! Whatever you think is not what is reality.."


    "Hm-..." I wonder, I know Catherine wants me to forget but how far would she drag this charade? "So you being a vampire and the undercroft?"


    "All in your head Belly." She tipped her pipe over onto a silver platter to find burnt tobacco scattered in ash.


    "The man hanging by his ankles? The smell of blood?"


    "Yes, yes. Everything. Even Carmilla at the west wing." She pivoted in her chair facing her back towards me, switching her pipe out for a glass. I am not sure if it was blood or wine at this point. She halted in a heavy sigh.


    "Uh-...Catherine? I saw your daughter before I apparently passed out. I remember that Valeria. I also remember her telling me to go to the undercroft."


    "No."


    "Yes, and she told me her mother was sick. To see who you really were."


    "No! No, Bella! Stop it!" Catherine spun around to her feet, a crack erupted as she gained her stance. At first, I assumed it was the weight of the wires in her dress until I washed her clothing to find no wires but, when I found out about her spinal injury. It made sense. If it does not heal correctly it will affect her.


    "Yes! She was fucking right! Everyone was right!" I leaped from her bed as I rushed to face her toe to toe. Though if the towns folk and Vadoma were right, perhaps it was not the most level-headed thing to run up on Catherine with not a single stitch on my back. "You cannot piss on my leg and say it is raining! I know what I saw Valeria! I hurt myself on your damn stonewall to the undercroft, which coincidentally is the reason I had fallen on your steps to scrape my knee." I pointed to my injury to see another bandage as it squeezed furiously. I must teach Catherine how to tie bandages or else I will surely lose the feeling of my limbs.


    "For fuck sake...fine..you are right...everything. It was a ruse." Her sigh dragged on as she sat back down in her chair. "Necrezut..." She began to rub her temples burying her face in her lap.


    Knowing this aloud made my stomach drop. The haunting suspicion became a sudden reality. The very thing made me sway. In nausea, or fear. I retreated quietly back to Catherine''s bed, weaving my body under the thin white linen. We both sat in silence for what seemed like hours or felt like for me.


    "I-I''m sorry I forced it out of you Catherine, I-I just felt like you were always hiding something from me. Something as important as this."


    "Ha, so I suppose you would have still taken the job if I told you I was a vampire from the start? Hm?" She held her head up by her fist resting on her thigh.


    "Yes in fact, since I wouldn''t have believed you. Until now that is." My foot trembled grazing the floorboard with every twitch my leg swayed. "Oh, of course, you are an educated young woman yes Bella?" Catherine arose with a tone used to mock me. "Come. Come see what your educated mind thinks of this anomaly." Her hand crossed over my body with her nails hooking into my bicep. She dragged my still body wrapped in her linen to the mirror that stood tall next to her closet. It was the same height as Catherine, possibly taller. I took a step forward bumping into Catherine''s arm. I apologized under my breath before looking up to the mirror.


    All I saw was me. My curls and my olive skin appeared more pale. The white linen radiated off my body. "Do you see it, Bella?" I did not realize, Catherine stood beside me. Her shoulder brushing against mine, she lent out a hand with a gesture of a wave in front of the mirror.


    Nothing....absolutely nothing...


    It was as though she wasn''t there. She stood beside me, but her being did not show. Only the outline of her dress hung over her curves. Catherine laughed out it began to rattle everything not tied down to the bedroom. "You see Bella? Do you!?" My eyes met hers'' welled with held-back tears. Her sniffles erupted out of thin air as her concealment was short-lived. "I am a monster! How could you see me! How dare you not stand before me with disgust!" She sniffled wiping away a tear. Her tears were dark smudges of what seemed to be some dark makeup.


    "Because I do not see you as such. You are still a woman. Even in your...condition.."


    "Do not try and flatter me. I am a woman still yes, but a female reincarnation of a monster. A monster has created me. Ever so, the reason I have locked myself in my tomb." She turned away with her cries, slashing her hands through the furnished wall. Her nails dug thick cuts into the wall. The very same I saw in the cherubs. I do not know why I acted the way I did. My hand leaped out from my hip to attach to Catherine''s. It shook for a moment. Her frail fingers vibrated between mine. Her palms were rough, her fingers clenched with the texture of the wallpaper and tobacco under her nails. I flipped Catherine''s hand over leading her to the foot of her bed.


    "A tomb? Is that the real reason you desire seclusion? Or is it because you think you deserve it? To punish yourself?" I began to pick the wallpaper out of Catherie''s nails. Her shaking calmed. "I was already punished, Bella. I am living my own hell."


    "How so? Why do you think the eternal afterlife is a punishment?" Her hand grew limp as I examined her nails more thoroughly. She huffed licking a tear from the corner of her mouth. "Would you like to know the full story or short?"


    "Well, if you say this castle is a tomb then, I suppose I will die here aswell. So, I have time." I released her hand to fix her hair which made me grow rather bothersome with the way it laid. Catherine laughed fixing her linen around my chest. "Fine. Go curl up in bed. I will tell you a tale of ignorance, lies, loss and taking what you have for granted." I crawled into the same spot I once arose on as Catherine lay beside me.


    "The year was 1770, and my family and I just got back from the Palace of Versailles. It was Marie Antoinette''s wedding. She was a young babe when she was wed. I vowed never to allow Carmilla to be wed at such a young age, 16 yes, but 14 never. My husband and I were very close with Marie''s parents. My husband especially. He was much older than me of course. Is that not the norm? I was 17 when I was wedded. Maurice Valeria. He was 25 years older. He was old enough to be my father but he was a respectable man with a sizeable fortune and this castle. The castle was in better shape back then. He promised me luxury and the finest food my pallet has ever eaten. That he gave me. Fine jewelry, dresses from Paris, and enough liquor to kill an army.


    However, the most precious thing my dearly departed Maurice ever gave me, was my children. David and Carmilla. David was my oldest. The heir to the Valeria household. He was as strong as his father but had my striking looks. He was a flirt. Vadoma and David were the same age at the time. Vadoma''s mother would clean the castle bringing her daughter along. David would scurry around the castle walls. Technically, David would chase Vadoma and she would hide behind her mother''s skirt.


    Then, the loveliest day happened in the Valeria castle. One day in April, the sunniest day, what looked to be that is. I gave birth to Carmilla. A daughter. The princess of our little castle. She held her head up higher than the queen herself. More confidence in her little frame than all of court put together. Her grasp on my skirt was firm but not in a state of fear, but in admiration. I had a little shadow everywhere I stepped. Watching the way I would brush my hair, and do my makeup. She would waltz around in my heels on the carpets. I could not know where she possessed her blonde hair. Perhaps from my mother. I never asked Maurice. By the time we were married, his hair was grey." Catherine chuckled. "My life was perfect so it seems. Until the Harvest Ball in autumn. October 31st. David was 17 soon to be 18, Carmilla was 14. It was a masquerade ball. Carmilla wore pink, the shade of Camellias. David was in black to match his father. Powdered wigs were in fashion than for high society." She sniffled holding back her heavy tears. "I even wore them. See, the line above my ear? It was once a rash. Or so I still think it''s there." Catherine raised a huge strand of her hair to reveal a thick bubbled line behind her ear. Probably an allergy to starch.


    "I-I see it...is it painful?" I reached out to let my fingertip graze the line. "Oh no," She sniffled. "It''s just a painful reminder of my greed. All of ours." My hand left the back of her ear as she sniffled back. My hair fell around my face as I tried to push it away. Catherine lent out her hands on either side of my head to manage my curls. Her hands met at the back of my head full of my strands. "Sweet girl," She choked out, her accent made it difficult to hear anything under her breath. "How can anyone gaze upon me the way you do, knowing what you know?" Her thumbs caressed my temples as her hands left my head.


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    "You haven''t finished the story, Catherine. How can I judge without knowing the full details?"


    "I was hoping I wouldn''t have to reiterate my past but, if you insist." Catherine coughed sitting up from the bottom of the bed to retrieve her glass of wine. She licked the rim letting the last mouthful fall to her lips. "Damnit!"


    "Here allow me. I''ll go to the cellar." I leaped out of bed looking around for some kind of robe or stitch of clothing. "No. No bother...it was not wine." I stopped in my tracks with the clammy feeling of sweat forming behind my neck. "S-shall I-I find your preferred drink elsewhere?"


    "Ha, now who''s the nervous one? Calm down. Your heartbeat is ringing like a church bell in ears. I''ll fetch Vadoma. Vadoma! Vadoma!" Her voice boomed as the door to her room flung open. If Vadoma was here then I suppose it was morning or midday. "I have a question, so you hearing my heartbeat? Is that an actual illness or a vampire thing?"


    "Haha! You are catching on quickly. My illness was never real, not in the medical sense. My illness is because I am a vampire." Catherine huffed as she sat back down in her chair. Within a minute Vadoma appeared. "Well shit...took you long enough. You finally tell huh? To be frank, I thought you kill her or tell her by now."


    "Shut up you. Be thankful I do not drink gypsy witch blood or you would have been next." Catherine joked as Vadoma snickered pouring out her glass and leaving the vase on her desk. "Yes my lady, I know how you ''true'' Romanians feel about gypsies." Catherine took a heavy drink almost choking back. "No, no. Now you put word in mouth. I said gypsy witch. Witch is the issue. I dealt with witches before, god forbid those bitches do not back down."


    "The coven of Scotland? God I forgot them. How can you remember everything as if it happened yesterday Valeria?" As they both continued their conversation I was baffled. By either the way they banter on or the fact Vadoma''s a witch.


    "Excuse me! Um-...either I hit my head on those stairs or I just heard you are a witch?! Do you go at each other like that often? You know, threatening to eat her and gypsy hating comments."


    The two burst out in laughter as though they forgot to let me in on the secret. "Haha! I''m sorry detka. You did not hit your head, and how long she''s worked for me we banter quite often. We have to or I think poor Vad would go insane."


    "Pfft...don''t be daft. You would go insane without making talk to a soul. That''s why I was pleased when Bella came. She won''t shut up. It gave me a break." Vadoma joked as she pointed directly in my direction.


    "Daft? You are hanging around Belly here too long, soon she''ll teach you how to curtsy. Anyways Bella, to make things short so I may carry with on my story since you are so interested and I frankly do not. Vadoma Vivda is from a long line of Gana witches. Gypsy witches from Romania that uses their magic to stay alive. She''s been 20 for over 1,000 years, as of I have been 54 for 1,000 too."


    "Valeria, I believe it was September last month. You are 1,055 now."


    "Oh Jesus do not remind me. Fine. You get the jist, right? It is a lot but we need to move this along. Vad, go make dinner. We need food. Especially Bell; she looks rather pale."


    "Paler than you actually, I''ll make stew." Vad scurried off closing the door on her way.


    "Sit Belly. Calm yourself. I will give you a minute before I continue."


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    With food in my stomach, and constant reassurance of what the bloody hell is happening. Catherine was still beating around the bush to finish her story.


    "Alright Catherine Valeria, I have been fed and processed this cluster fuck. Now would you ever be so kind as to finish your story?" I pushed the bowl to our feet as Catherine did the same. "Fuck...fine. Make me tear up again. I hope you do not have a weak stomach. Vad threw up when she found me. She had two messes to clean that night." Catherine shot back her last glass. Resting her head on the headboard.


    "Harvest Ball. It was the social party of the season. Every major family were present. Anyone who was anyone was there. Now, there are only two major families still residing in Media?. The Valeria''s and Thomas''s. That''s not important now. So, the party was in full swing. My daughter was with her friends in a corner of the dancefloor just gossiping about gentlemen callers. Maurice, the time I thought was off having a drink of brandy with the other husbands but I was wrong. See, what I didn''t know since our marriage was I was not the only one unfaithful. Sure, I had flings with women but never French whores. And never shipped them from Paris to our castle.


    I was chatting with our guests since my husband was busy playing find the caterpillar with another powdered wig twat. Until I saw David. Arriving fashionably late as per usual, however, he brought along a guest with him. One I had never seen. His name I remember, and his face. He was a dark presence. His black hair was slicked back and sporting a gold cane. He made my skin crawl. I promised I would never utter his name. The Viscount spoke of sweet things. Possible ventures to enrich David''s horizons. To broaden them. To be a mentor more like. The stench that I am too accustomed to of blood which I thought so too was copper. He reeked.


    I suppose I could spare the party details and get to the end. The servants had left for the night after the hall was clean. I made my way to our room. To see Maurice and kick any whore out of my spot...but, I found a more gruesome sight. Maurice slit from stem to stern. Just like the man you saw dangling in the undercroft. The sight frightened me. I ran out of our bedroom to find my children. I ran to the west wing to find David was not in his room. I heard a noise I will never forget. The screams and pleas...o-of C-Carmilla." She choked naturally tearing up again.


    "I ran out of David''s room to see Carmilla. Crawling out of her bedroom dragging her blood along the floor. Staining the bottom and the front of her soft pink dress. Just in a blink of an eye, there he was. The Viscount. O-Ontop of my daughter...ripping her throat open. Screaming out for me. With a mixture of her screams and sloshes of her blood. I tried to scream for him to stop until he rose to his feet. Dripping still with my daughter''s blood. Charging to me." Catherine sniffled out wiping away another stream of tears. My stomach dropped again realizing why her daughter, Carmilla, looked so young as a spirit. "T-Than what Catherine?" I stuttered coaxing my throat with saliva. My hand grazed Catherine''s bare shoulder as her sleeve now fell to her elbow. She did not care. Nothing but her shoulder was shown but in the moment her arms were folded tightly around her chest. Vibrating her body and breaking in a cold sweat.


    "A-All I remember...was his body on top of me. I remember that now because the hoops in my skirt broke behind my thighs. His face on top of me has burnt a hole in memory before he did this..." Catherine gathered her hair to lift it off her shoulders to reveal a large chunk taken out of her neck. I never noticed this. However, I never noticed how small Catherine''s ears were. Frankly, I never saw her ears. The gash was old, faded into a mere scar but it was bright pink with a new layer of skin and two black holes under the new flesh. "I thought I died Bella...the smell of the Viscount and the dripping of my daughter''s blood from his mouth mixed with my own-.." Catherine''s pupils shrunk in size as more tears ran down. Staring off into space.


    *Catherine''s memory*


    The very smell...of copper and cigars. No formalities, not an utterance. The Viscount left me. I peered over to see Carmilla''s breaths slowly pace. "M-mommy...I-I''m c-cold..." She''s faint, wheezing out. "I-It''s alright darling..." I coughed with the weight of a thousand men on my chest staring up at the ceiling. "I-l-love..." Carmilla''s breath went silent. My eyes raced back to see her. Not shut, staring widely at me with a blank stare. No breaths, no movement. "I love you too-...C-..Carmilla! Carmilla!" The tears rushed down my face. I tried to move my jaw but was halted by immense pain. Blood pooled under my chin, and the pain in my chest grew stronger. I screamed out, to feel my last and final breath. I took my final breath, and the final thing I could see was Carmilla''s motionless bloodied body. Everything went black for a mere moment. Maybe more.


    My line of vision was restored in a bright light. Perhaps this was the gates of heaven. To rejoice and join my family once again.


    I was terribly wrong. Oh, so wrong. I was woken by the sharp pain in my body. I felt like vomiting. The sheer pain. I was meant to join my family. Not sit in my blood in the hall. Cold and alone. My skin crawled as if bed bugs were scurrying. I scratched my arms as I noticed my nails were falling off. Nail by nail, pulling away from my nail bed to part like a spiderweb, leaving blood and new skin underneath in string-like pieces. I would go in and out of consciousness, light-headed in a sense. The pain came back when I regained consciousness. My jaw locked up with an immense pressure building. I could feel my hips as I flipped onto my stomach. Once my chest hit the wet bloodied floor I broke every bone. My ribs shattered, and my elbows did too.


    "Ah!" I laid my hands on the floor only to have my fingers cock in different directions, ways fingers should not move. Each finger broke from left to right. My knuckles bulged out of my skin showing its pearly white bone. Each joint cracks violently. The blood that remained rushed to my skull, I could feel my blood run from my heart to my head. I could hear my heart trying to keep up, each thump becoming more deafening. My eyes strained with a dry burning sensation, I blinked only to be blinded with red.


    "P-please! God! Kill me! Kill me!" I sobbed out attempting to fight this feeling. I held my breath as I made an effort to stand on my feet. I wiped away the tears to realize it was not water, more thick in viscous. Boiling hot blood. Flowing from my corneas. I regained my stance but was halted. My kneecaps buckled breaking instantly. I fell to the floor feeling the mush of my thighs slide to the floor. "God! Please! Kill me! Help me!" The pain came back for a vengeance breaking my spine in half. Rushing my shoulders to the floor as my feet were still planted firmly on the floor. The back of my head hit the floor. I managed to flip my body around to fall onto my chest. I screamed out to fight, and my spine snapped. I felt every bone move slithering like a snake to my neck piercing into my flesh. The pain was unbearable in my body. The shock itself sent me spiralling in and out of consciousness.


    "G-God please...?n numele tat?lui...?i al fiului ?i...al sfantului duh. Amin-...." I remember saying my final pray as I my vision turned dark.


    *Present Day*


    "Catherine?" I sniffled out, rubbing her shoulder. "What happened after you fainted?" Catherine wiped away tears. Re-adjusting the position of her back, hearing the loud crack of her spine.


    "Well, I said my prayers. My last prayers that is. I thought that would be my salvation. Let us just say it fell on deaf ears. I awoke with this out-of-body experience. As if my body was not my own. It was new, cold and hollow. The weirdest thing I remember....haha...was I thought it was a nightmare. I had frightening dreams during my pregnancies so I thought maybe a little too much wine with dinner was the answer. But, it was not the case. I arose to my feet to see my peach skin was pale. My nails were gauged out and I had the hardest time standing straight. Still do but I manage. My nightmare was my very reality. I turned to see my daughter...my dead daughter. Still in her pink dress, pale as I. Her purple veins popping out. I threw my heels through the window, in a manic or angered state. I remembered running to Carmilla''s room to retrieve her favourite pink silk blanket. I wrapped Carmilla''s cold lifeless body in the blanket and picked her up, walking her down the west wing stairs to the undercroft. Where I buried her in the Valeria catacombs. Alongside Maurice. That took longer to bury him since the man was heavier and it was harder to drag him down the stairs. Haha!" Catherine joked. I thought it was so macabre to laugh at the situation but people grieve in different ways.


    "What about David, Catherine?"


    "You know, that is the strangest thing Belly. After watching my nails grow back and my teeth slowly rot and fall out to prepare for these sharp things." Catherine''s long white nail tapped her sharpened canine. "I spent 2 years searching for his body. I left the castle even, thinking perhaps he was alive living in Media?. Laying low, kept his head down. I could not find him. I searched for life or a body in and out of the castle grounds. I suppose that the Viscount must have taken him hostage and dumped him somewhere far away. I hope he sees Carmilla and his father. Since I''ve been damned to live this life over and over." Catherine arose from bed stretching her arms to the ceiling.


    "Is this not a lovely life Catherine?"


    "Bella? Do you see life in this home? I sit and wallow awaiting for Vadoma to bring me fresh kills like a lion at the fucking zoo! A mere attraction for everyone to gawk and poke at."


    "So what does that make me? The lion tamer?" I leaned my weight on my elbow turning my body. "Ha, you think so? You know, to tell you the truth...at the beginning, this was a cat-and-mouse game. I wanted to see how long it would take you to anger me."


    "Shit, it did not take me long huh?"


    "Ha, of course. You are not like the others. I grew offly fond of you." Catherine turned for our eyes to meet. "So, does that mean you are not scared of this old vampire huh?"


    "No, not any more fears of you Catherine. You just startled me. I had wicked dreams of you ripping my intestines out and when you caught me I thought I would suffer that fate."


    "You forgot the finger fuck too love." Catherine whispered.


    "Huh?!" I gasped.


    "Nothing, nothing. I shut up. Go lay down. I''ll join you in a minute." Catherine slipped her dress off fully nude changing to a short white sleepgown.


    I rolled over to my side facing away from Catherine. It was strange, I never slept in bed with another person let alone a beautiful person. A beautiful vampire that is. "Catherine?" I looked over my shoulder feeling Catherine''s body lay in bed. "Yes, dear?" She sighed blowing out the candles on her nightstand. "Have you met any other vampires? In the 1,000 years, you must have?" I felt Catherine''s hands snake around my body pulling my bare skin to touch her. "No need to worry. In the thousand years so far there have been no more vampires since. And if there is, I will protect you. No matter what."


    "Protect Vad too?"


    She huffed a sigh burying her face in the dip of my collarbone. "Fuck fine. I''ll protect the gypsy as well."

 Blood Lust

    I felt a new. A new what? New sensation perhaps. It wasn''t a sickly feeling. It was more or less as though the pit of my stomach had been filled. Catherine was the first to get up, which was a first since it was daylight and she would normally be in bed still.


    I arose from her bed to realize I was still not wearing clothes. I tip-toed back to my room to find anything. I found something I shoved deep into my dresser not wanting to wear it but it was the only thing I had clean. Vadoma gave me a dress, but at first, I did not like it. It was a badly stitched grey cotton dress. The bust was way too big for mine. Until I found out, Vad made this dress for her first daughter Crina. Crina did not understand why she was becoming older as her mother stayed the same age. The village influenced her making her out to be a dangerous gypsy witch. Crina left in the dead of night at Vadoma''s age. Vad heard she moved to Bucharest and married with children. Vadoma is not bitter. She was more upset that Crina did not take the first dress Vadoma made for her. Her seamstress skills have improved since then.


    "Vad? Vad! Where are you?" I ran down the stairs holding the bust of the dress so my breasts wouldn''t spill out. "Vad! Vadoma!" I leaped off the stairs landing onto the carpet making a sharp right to the kitchen. I was halted by Vadoma swinging the kitchen door open. "What you need? I am busy Bella!" She stopped as her eyes traced my body from head to toe. "Oh," Vadoma laughed. "You need help yes?"


    "If it does not inconvenience you too great." I huffed blowing away a thick strand of hair. Vadoma''s gold bracelets jingled a tune as her arm ushered me into the kitchen. "Where''s Catherine?" I cross my arms across my chest. Vadoma sighed rummaging through a clothed bag. "Her royal pain in ass is down in the undercroft. She awoke hungry. Not for food but she did not think it was wise to have her breakfast in front of you just yet." She held a small knapsack containing a needle and thread. "Why now? I brought her blood without realizing it for months, hell, maybe a year. Time moves weirdly here. Ouch! Vad!" She needle poked the side of my boob as she tailored the side. "Shit! Sorry, Bell. To answer both questions short. Valeria feels that now you know it makes her feel something she hasn''t felt in while. And it has been a year dear Bella." Vadoma finished the first side of my dress spinning me around to see the other side. "A year?! Wait, what''s Valeria feeling?"


    "Emotion. Real emotion that old heart has hidden. Guilt, shame. Protective she is, but shame never sat right with her." Vadoma finished hiding away her knapsack. "You do realize I can hear you." Catherine appeared behind me, not even an utterance that she was near. "Catherine!" Vadoma and I leaped. Catherine did not look well, she seemed tense. Not in anger, but more like in desperation. "What''s wrong?" I turned to face Catherine when her hand stopped me under my arm. Her hand stung for a moment as it pressed against the same breast that Vad poked. Her hand vibrated as I felt the cold pin-point of blood bled through the cotton. "What has happened? Vadoma?" Her hands twitched, and Catherine''s nail dug into the gray fabric pulling down the newly stitched cloth. "I-I only pricked her. Not much blood Valeria." Vad yammered making it seem she was busy. "More than a prick Vad! Y-you need to be more," Her index glided over the pin-point, staining her finger with my blood. "Careful."


    "Has your hunger subsided?" I reached out for her hand, it was more cold than usual. "N-no...i-it hasn''t. There''s an issue." Catherine pushed my hand away. She trembled as her body fell back resting against a wall.


    "Catherine!"


    "Valeria!" We both shrieked out as we stood before her. "No...no..." Catherine was hysterical. Dry coughing out for breath. Vadoma and I grabbed Catherine''s wrist hoisting her up by our shoulders. Trying our might to lug her up to her room. "Is this like a reaction? A sickness? Bad blood."


    "No! Valeria has never done this before now." Vadoma struggled to grasp Catherine. "N-no...more." Catherine choked trying to breathe correctly. We made it to her room laying her down. "Bella?" Catherine finally regained her breath. "Yes, Valeria?"


    "Leave...Vad and I for a moment I mean...please." I nodded stepping out of the bedroom. Not far, in earshot. Ear against the door.


    "There is no more what Valeria? What you mean?"


    "B-blood. No more blood. The cellar is dry. I-I fear if I do not get more..." She coughed. "It''s Bella. Your blood I can stand but hers. It''s taunting me. Do not let her in. I do not trust myself." I could not believe it. No more? I darted down the stairs, past the dining room to the unlocked undercroft. I ran down the steps making sure to leap over the same damned step that caused my pain. Alas, I found it. The pitiful man, more like an unrecognized creature hung by his ankles. Shriveled like a raisin in the sun. More pale than a piece of paper. Not a single drop. It looked as though Catherine attempted to lick or scrape whatever remained on the floors. With her hand prints smeared across the floors.


    I ran back up to Vadoma. "Vadoma! Vadoma! Come quick!" Vadoma raced out of Catherine''s room to the stair balcony. "What wrong now?"


    "She''s right Vad! There''s no more. That man is shrivelled like a prune. The crates are empty. There is nothing!" That feeling came back. The sinking feeling came back to my stomach. The fear that Catherine could go mad or worse attack me in her thunderous rage. "Goddamit!"


    "What can we do? How do we help her?"


    "We? No. You heard Valeria. You must not help. I will go find someone. Daylight is much harder." Vadoma ran down the steps not skipping a beat. "No, Catherine said she does not want me in the room. She said nothing about me not helping you. Or did I hear something different behind the door?" I followed behind her leading out the kitchen door. "Oh for fuck sake fine! You are worse than child you know this? Fine, I will show you how I do things. However, you must not disobey or the town will hang us both."


    "Got it Vad. No fuss, no hanging."


    ?©¤©¤©¤?   ???   ?©¤©¤©¤?


    Vadoma and I left the castle grounds, following behind her on the gravel road down the mountain. "What must we do Vad? Why did you bring a shovel?" I asked as I watched Vadoma carry a rusty shovel over her shoulder. "Well, I have been doing this method for over 200 years. Other methods have been dangerous or not work." Vadoma''s barefoot rolled a rock under her sole flicking it and hitting a tree. "So what is this method? All we have spoken about is what if we got caught, not the actual deed." I continued behind her. "The deed? Bella, we not killing them. Just rendering them unconscious. Just enough time for Valeria to take their blood. Catherine will kill them, we do not." Vadoma stopped, as she held out a hand to halt me. "Hush now, someone is coming near." Vadoma was right, a man walked briskly without hesitation of us looking above him. Vadoma crouched down on the cliff of the mountain.


    "What do we do next?" I whispered as my knees scuffed the grass. "Shut it, let me think. He is young, good blood I suppose. Perhaps not into gypsy''s. Possibly into you." My head cocked at her words. It was as if this was nothing to her. It was technically, she''s been doing this for years. "What are you on about?"


    "Lure him Bell." Vadoma let go of the shovel placing it quietly on the ground before us. "Lure him how? How in the hell do I do that?" Vad hushed me again. "Fuck off, you know how. I hear things. Valeria tells me things. You know how to tease her. Tease him. Pretend he''s Valeria. For Catherine''s sake. If you don''t, she might die." My heart stopped. Not for the fact I have to flirt with a man but with the thought that Catherine might die. I never thought of that, I just thought she would go mad.


    "Fine. For Catherine." I arose to my feet as Vadoma stopped me. "Here, push the strap of your dress down. Be sultry. English? Uh-...sex appeal?"


    "Stop it, I know what to do. You get ready for your method." I turned walking away from Vad towards the man. I stopped as I heard a branch snap. The man seemed startled. He stopped searching around his surroundings. "Hello? Who''s there?"


    "Hello..."I blurted as I leaned against a tree. The man''s head turned and he looked somewhat relieved. "Oh, how lovely. What brings you here this fine morning miss?" His steps were calm towards me. "To be alone I suppose, do you enjoy being alone too?" I huffed allowing one of my straps to fall from my dress. "Oh yes, you are a pretty thing aren''t you?" I noticed Vadoma appear behind the man. "You think so? All your dreams and more huh?" I playfully bit my lip holding my hand out. I rotated my wrist to let Vadoma know to speed this process up. The man began to grab my hand as Vadoma lifted the shovel back and swung the metal end. The force of the shovel flew striking the back of the man''s head. The ringing noise cut through the forest breaking the silence. The man grunted falling forward. A small amount of blood escaped from his ear as his cheek touched the gravel. "Good job! Now grab his feet quickly!" Vadoma hooked her hands under the man''s arms raising his upper half. I quickly grabbed his ankles whisking him off the ground. Vadoma laid the shovel on the man''s chest to carry both at the same time. "Shit! I thought he would light!" Vadoma''s bracelets jingled as she tried to position her hands comfortably. "You don''t say? I know that Vad! Let''s get him up before he wakes up! Hurry!" We moved at great pace. Leaving trails of dust by the hems of our skirts. "You had to pick the heaviest fucking man Bella huh?"


    "I did? You were the one scoping him out. I was following orders."


    "You have better eyes than I, you should have said something." Vadoma huffed as she ran backwards. I wheezed peering down at this pitiful creature of a man knocked out. Taking notice of a tiny splatter of his blood on my dress. Our feet dug into the dirt leading back to the castle gates. The gates were left open since no one would dare to venture up this far so we were safe to say it would be undisturbed.


    "Shit! Vad! You almost dropped his head!" I gasped in terror as his head the grass. "I''m sorry, you have other options to open door?" Vadoma kicked the kitchen door open. She picked up the man''s head dragging him along. "Where do we leave him? In the parlour?"


    "Sure Bell, more mess for Vadoma huh? You will clean yes? No? I thought not. We bring him down to undercroft and bring Valeria down there." I let go of his feet as Vadoma strung him along to the cellar. I had to get Catherine. Now, it was not mentioned upon Vadoma''s request but it must have been implied later on. I thought this would speed up the process.


    I darted up the stairs turning right to Catherine''s room. I knocked I heard a noise. A whimper. Soft cries escaped her room. As the handle rolled between my palm I pushed the door. Something stopped me.


    "Bella?" Catherine''s silent cries stopped. "Do not enter! I cannot be near you! You know this!" She growled as I heard her footsteps grow heavier, and closer. A loud bang hit the door stopping me from entering. I pushed back burying my shoulder into the wood but saw her dresser. "I told you! I do not want you to see me like this!"


    "Catherine! Listen! We got a body for you! Please Cath, please come out. You need to eat. I-I want you to. Please..."


    "How? Did you-...no not possible. Vadoma would never take you. In daylight!" Catherine''s feet pounded the floor in a pace motion. Pacing back and forth. Possibly at the foot of her bed. "Yes. It is true. I helped her. Please do not be mad. I wanted to help. Please come out." I banged on the door trying my might to push it open. "Bella, I am warning you. I am already not in the mood. Leave. Go to Carmilla''s room and hide until I have finished."


    "No! I did not want to do this but if I must, then so be it." I saw the door hinge was made clad. Not softened by carpenters. I flipped my wrist to press against the gold plate slicing my skin open. "Bella don''t!" Catherine cried out. She snarled flying the dresser to the other side of the bedroom. I made my escape running before the door flung open. My blood dripped down every wooden step. I almost fell trying to dash into the dining room. Catherine''s screeches were not in anger no, but in hunger. The side of her that is new to me, her vampire side, took over. However, the side I always knew, was pleading out not to kill me. Her footsteps grew even more loud as if they were claps of thunder. Each clap rang in my ears harder than my feet against the cobbled stairs. "Vad! Vadoma! She''s coming! Quick hide! Now!" I leaped off the stairs to Vadoma.


    This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.


    "We have to leave. This is not for your eyes." Vadoma grabbed hold of my bloodied wrist as she stopped. "D-did Catherine do this?"


    "No time to explain, I had to lure her out. Hide now." I pulled her away from the staircase to a trunk hidden farthest away from the man''s body. We both leaped into the trunk shutting the latch closed.


    "Bella...oh Bella why would you do that?" She sobbed. "I can smell you..." Catherine never scared me before, until this moment. Her eyes gleamed bright red, more than they usually were. In the dark of night, all you could see was her eyes. Her tears halted as she sniffled out. Her body pivoted to where the man lay. Regaining his senses.


    "Leave you two...we will discuss this matter later." Her nail ran along his throat. Piercing it slowly in the skin. "Now!" Her teeth gritted in a growl. Vadoma swept my hand leading me out as she dragged the steel door to leave Catherine alone with her meal.


    "Domnul ?n Rai...please for all that is holy...do not pull that again." Vadoma huffed navigating me back to the stairs. As our feet led up the stairs again. I noticed as I was perspiring in sweat, so was Vadoma. Trying to catch her breath as she trembled. "She was not listening to me Vad. I had to lure her out someway."


    "Bella, I understand this whole vampire thing is new concept to you but you must tread carefully. You can tease and flaunt your body all you please, and do not deny because Valeria tells me things. However, teasing her with your very blood, you or I cannot control her after that." Vadoma shook her head to lift her hair away from her shoulders. "You let Valeria leave on her terms. Please do not do that again." Vad opened the door in the dining room walking away from where I stood. "I-I''m sorry Vad."


    "It is fine. You are learning. Just next time, do not learn with your life huh?" She joked returning to the kitchen. I stood in my filth. Not in the literal sense of dirt but in some strange sense of shame. Catherine would never attack Vadoma, but my careless pride had shown that I am not invincible. That my youth can be taken so quickly in a sheer second. Just because I played this constant cat-and-mouse game with Catherine. Finally, I realized something, I was never the cat. I was always the mouse.


    ?©¤©¤©¤?   ???   ?©¤©¤©¤?


    I felt strange all night. When my father and I would picker or I would do something unwise we spoke, and said our goodnights. Always to make sure to say ''I love yous'', for he always said that tomorrow is never promised and we mustn''t go to sleep in anger, but this was different. It was the guilt I felt. Not only because I could have put Vadoma in danger but also made Catherine do something she vowed she would never do. My quick thinking was not the right decision once again.


    After I wrapped my wrist with bandages, it did not stop bleeding. I hid away in the library until it stopped. I was already reading a book but Catherine thought I finished the other day and returned it back to its home. I lifted my feet by my tip-toes to reach for the massive piece of literature, Clarissa by Samuel Richardson. It was one of the more large books Catherine owned but it was a thrill. Not for action or romance but for the female experience of a very troubled woman.


    I curled up in my usual spot deep in the last new chapters, I heard footsteps coming up. I could not tell who it was. Usually, Vad''s footsteps are quick and small, whereas Catherine''s are heavy and slow. These footsteps were a mix of both. They were heavy on each wooden step but made the attempt to be subtle. The door shrieked as it closed behind whoever entered. I sat in the dark, with only a candle keeping me company. The library door creaked open with a familiar set of hands slithering around the wood of the door.


    "Belly?" Catherine muttered. The door opened further as Catherine''s body slid in. Her chest was coated in dry blood as was her dress also drenched. As she took a step towards me the front of her dress dragged blood all over the wood floors. "What are you doing? It is freezing in here." She halted in front of me. The stench of blood punched me in the face. "It is fine Catherine." I closed the book laying it on a small table. Catherine laughed as she pulled a stool next to me. "You are shaking like a leaf." She peered down at my bandages as she sighed. "You were so stupid, you know that?"


    "Vadoma already said this." I huffed. "I am aware."


    "Well, you''re going to hear it again...I bet seeing me like that earlier frightened you and that''s what made you act so quickly. However, hurting yourself to lure me out is not safe. For you and especially me. I would never forgive myself, Bella. Ever."


    "I am sorry Catherine. You are right it did frighten me. You look like you were at death''s doorstep."


    "Don''t I always." She joked. I did not laugh. I found none of this amusing. "Oh come now Belly, you are still allowed to laugh at my jokes," Catherine smirked lightly tugging my arm. I gave a small smile back as my eyes met Catherine''s. Catherine''s eyes stuck to me like glue. Fixated as a stone. Daunting one corner of her eye to the other. "I will, I am just a little ashamed I did such a thing."


    "Ha, don''t be. You will develop these brow lines like me and be stuck with them for 200 years." She pointed out between her brows. We both giggled. "There is no shame, Bella, I just hope you have learned a lesson."


    "I have Catherine Valeria. I have."


    "Good baby. Come to bed. I am tired." Catherine hoisted herself from the stool latching her hand around my bicep. I got off my feet to be dragged out of the library, and down the stairs to our rooms where I stopped at my door. Catherine stalled as she peered over her shoulder. "What is wrong?" Catherine''s grip tightened. "You said to go to bed, so that''s where I was going." I drew my arm away but Catherine tensed. "No, love. I do not want you to sleep there anymore. You are sleeping with me."


    "I am?"


    "You are. I insist."


    ?©¤©¤©¤?   ???   ?©¤©¤©¤?


    "Catherine, why the hell did you have to make such a mess?" I sighed hunched over to pick up papers and books from her dresser. Catherine helped me move her dresser and cabinets back to where they once stood. "I was a little bit of a dramatic bitch wasn''t I?" She chuckled as she sat in her bed. I shook my head retrieving more books. "You could say that, but I would not." Catherine''s laughter erupted in the bedroom. "Ass. Stop with it, come to bed. I am tired of watching you work?" She huffed falling back into the mattress. "Urgh fine...we will finish this in the morning." I hobbled around the mess Catherine made. I almost slipped on the array of papers ushered under her bedframe. "Jesus Bell!" Catherine caught me before I hit the floor by my wrist. I whinced as she latched onto my injured wrist. "Aw shit!" I pulled away. Catherine caught site of the bloodsoaked the bandage. "What happened? Did you not change your bandage?"


    "Yes I did before I went to the library...it won''t stop Catherine."


    "Let me see."


    "No!" I turned my back to face Catherine. "Bella, I will be fine. I''m full. Do you not trust me?"


    "I do Catherine with other things. As Vadoma said, I am new to this. How will I know you will not go mad again?" Catherine spun my body around to face me. Her hand lifted my wrist as she began to unwrap the bandages. "I won''t. I promise. I care deeply for you. You are hurt. My hunger is not an issue, you are." She sat me down at her bedside. The bandages unravelled as they showed the massive slit down my wrist vertically. "You cut yourself bad Belly. It''s beginning to heal, but every movement is making it tear."


    "What do we do? C-can you make it go away?" I begged as my hand twitched and it began to bleed out. Catherine sighed shaking her head. "I can''t...in many of my years I''ve been this way, I have found I do have some healing abilities but it''s a risk I am not willing to do. I do not think it works on you anyway."


    "Please, Catherine."


    "Okay...if I do this, you mustn''t speak of it to Vadoma. This will be kept between us. Got it?" Catherine''s hand trembled as she held on to mine. "Yes, Catherine. I am open to anything." I pled. Catherine muttered something in Romanian before she exhaled. "Fine. I wish this was a better experience for us. I pictured it a certain way." Catherine licked the top of her lips coaking it with her glossy saliva. "How so? You pictured this?"


    "Yes...in better circumstances." Catherine lifted my wrist towards her face. I tugged away not fully understanding what was to come. "It is fine Bella. I won''t hurt you, but do not be frightened if I act weird." Catherine bit her tongue softly by the corner of her lip. "Okay?-..." Before I could ask further, Catherine drew her face closer to my wrist and I felt her tongue glide against my cut skin. My stomach dropped wanting to fly my arm away, but in some strange way, I began to feel much better. Catherine''s eyes pierced into mine not even giving a blink. Catherine pulled away, the tip of her tongue coated in blood. My blood...she licked my blood!


    "Oh my fucking god..." Catherine moaned falling her head back into her pillow, she held her hand against her face. Breathing in any scent of me left. Catherine dropped her hands away from her face scratching at the cloth that lay on her chest. She did not tear her dress, the fabric stretched rolling off her shoulders. Her bare body shook as the dress bunched at her hips.


    Was she enjoying this? Did she have a...No, no. Right?


    "Are you okay?" My feet moved around the bedframe as I crawled over the covers next to Catherine. "Oh darling, I am better than okay." Her voice groaned as she tilted her head against the headboard. I didn''t think of my actions anymore, my fingertips touched the bunched-up cloth around Catherine''s hips as I drew the dress down past her ankles to allow her to kick the rest off. "I think I''m starting to feel better. Thank you." Catherine licked her lip still rolling my blood in her mouth without the hurry to swallow. "My love, I should be the one to thank you." As Catherine spoke, a drop of blood escaped the corner of Catherine''s lip. My thumb brushed her mouth removing the blood and wiping onto my dress.


    "Stop it, I fear to stain your clothes." Catherine''s hand caught my wrist as the blood began to stain. "Stain them. I don''t care. We haven''t been wearing much clothes these days." I lifted the hem of my dress disregarding it onto the pile of heap on the floor. "Have we been? I suppose I may have forgotten. Or perhaps I have seen you naked so often it was normal." We both giggled silently as if we were in a crowded room. However, no one but us was in this room. I observed the way Catherine''s face moved. The way her cheeks rose when she laughed, the way they would sink down on her cheekbone. Her small wrinkles near her eyes crinkle until she calmed. Her pale skin sparkled in the candlelight. I leaned close to Catherine as my lips pressed gently on her cheek.


    "Ha, what on earth was that for?" Catherine''s head swivelled as her hand rubbed my jaw. "Nothing Catherine, can I not give you the same affection you have bestowed onto me?" Catherine''s little smirk turned monotone as she let on a yawn. "Quite. I have grown accustomed to your antics." She yawned again as her arms slithered around my waist. "Come. I am tired. We blush about each other in the morning." Catherine''s arms flipped my body onto my side as Catherine''s body pressed firmly against mine.


    "Fine." My head bent down to kiss Catherine''s arm which held my chest closely. "We are not finished, Catherine."


    "Anything you say Belly."

 Pomegranate

    A few days after our little incident. My wound had begun to heal. However, the tension between Catherine and I could be cut with a butter knife. It was not out of anger. It was as though she was nervous to be around me. Catherine would avoid me if we crossed paths in the halls. She would stop joining me for dinner. Vadoma would take a tray to her bedroom. I felt things went astray after the other night, our little incident involving my injuries. How though, the day after Catherine seemed fine. She was in great spirits¡ªhowever, today, the second that is. Catherine is a recluse.


    "Vad? Is Catherine alright? Is she ill?" I uncurled my legs on the velvet couch in the parlour. Roman lay flat beside my thighs, awoken from his blissful slumber. Vadoma flew down the stairs, pivoting her heels as I spoke. "She is fine, Bella. Do not worry. She wants to be left alone. Right? R?mas singur?"


    "I suppose, it is quite boring not to speak to anyone. Roman is no help."


    "And what I am hm? Chopped liver? Just paint on walls?"


    "No, no. I never meant that Vad," I sighed slouching my back, rolling my body off the couch. "You seem so busy every time I see you." I stood from the couch as Vadoma ushered me to join her in the kitchen. "Well, I am busy, but not busy enough to not have conversation with you during the day." Vadoma cascaded around the kitchen as if we were beginning a waltz. Her crimson skirt spun effortlessly as did the scarf on her shoulder wrapped around her waist. Exposing her soft torso. Most of her hair was hidden under a red scarf with two little braids resting on either shoulder. "What will you eat huh? Rabbit yes? No, no. I know how you feel about ''little bunnies''. How about polenta?"


    "Yes please, can I ask you something?" I hoisted myself on the kitchen counter near the door of the parlour. "Of course Bella. What is uh-...phew la naiba! My English is shit...question. What is your question?" Vadoma opened the cold cupboard to retrieve fresh vegetables, laying them on a wood cutting board. "I-Is Catherine mad at me?" Vadoma stopped mid-chop of the vegetables to peer over her shoulder at me. "Why on earth would you think that? Has she said something?"


    "No, nothing like that. I-I just thought since she does not want to be disturbed and has been very distant from me."


    "Oh! That, well...I suppose she is trying to get you to settle." Vad huffed out continuing to chop. "Settle? I am settled. However do you mean Vad?" I hunched over stealing a piece of a green pepper and popping it into my mouth. "Oye! Careful! I almost chopped finger! Lord knows what Catherine would do to me if such mistake would transpire. I do not mean settle in castle. I mean settle in your new realization of Catherine. As a vampire, I do mean."


    "Oh, yeah. That. I am fine with it." I swung my legs on the counter as I peered down at my knees. "Sure, but she has to get used to it too you know yes? Normally girls would be dead by now when they found out."


    "I suppose." I jumped down landing on my feet. I sighed as my feet guided me to the parlour. "Can you let me know when Catherine wants her medicine...I mean-...you know what I mean Vad. I want to bring it to her." I halted to see Vadoma. "But of course dear Bella."


    ?©¤©¤©¤? ??? ?©¤©¤©¤?


    *Catherine''s Pov*


    God, I need to get out of bed. I flung my body off my mattress as my spine cracked to an all too familiar tune. "Fucksakes..." I whinced as I mustered enough strength to almost straighten my back. Why must I always be in pain? Why can I not awake from our slumber refreshed? I heard Vadoma''s footsteps run up the stairs, knocking on my door. "What is it Vad?" I coughed out retrieving my robe. "We need to speak." She let herself in as her body barged in like a gust of wind. "Whatever is it?" I swung my hair behind my back as I sat on my desk chair. "I think you are hurting Bella''s feelings."


    "What?! How?" I was aghast. I have not spoken to Bella in days. Which is my fault but Bella has endless activities she could amaze herself in. Hell, she has shelves of books she has not even touched. "I have not spoken to Bella in days. How could I upset her?"


    "That is reason. She thinks you are distant from her because you are cross with something she did." Vadoma folded her arms in front of her chest cocking her head to me. "Goddamit...does she not realize I just want her to settle with this ''issue''" I motioned Vad to come further so I may not raise my voice. "I told her, but she swears she is settled with the whole vampire thing. I even told her that she should allow you to have time."


    "Why do I need time? I have had enough time with the fact! I have been this way for over 500 years!"


    "Can you shut your hole for a moment? You have never had a girl alive this long. You need to learn that this will affect Bella in every outcome. So, you either talk to Bella or stay here and sulk like a child." Vadoma left my room slamming the door behind her. I could not yell at her, she was right. I have to speak with her. I did not even thank her the other day. Even if she did harm herself to retrieve me, she and Vad thought quickly in times of stress. I should thank her for that at least. At least I could do that, perhaps it will be a door to open dialogue between us. Yes. That is it!


    ?©¤©¤©¤? ??? ?©¤©¤©¤?


    *Bella''s Pov*


    I had to stop waiting for Catherine to see me. I had chores to complete. One thing I wanted to do was beat the dust out of the curtains in the dining room. I took a broom to the curtains as I watched the dust bounce off. What I did not realize was that Vadoma was watching me. Quietly, not uttering a sound. "Bella?"


    "Jesus Christ! Vad! What the hell?" I leaped almost clinging on to a curtain. My feet finally flew flat on the dining chair I was using. "You scared the shit out of me!" Vad chuckled at her work cascading around the dining table to meet me. "You wanted me to inform you when Catherine needed a drink yes?" I jumped from the chair as I breathed in the dust. "Oh! Great." I brushed past Vadoma to the kitchen. My usual duty involved a barrel of what I initially thought was her medicine. However, now, I realize it''s blood. My feet stopped as it became a sombre note. I am fine with Catherine being a vampire, but now going through with it felt anew. Like a sickly hunger that I am about to fulfill for her. I loosened the tab watching the thick liquid ooze out in the vase until it reached the top. I straightened my back dashing up the stairs to Catherine''s room.


    Should I knock? I normally do not but in this instance...Perhaps I should.


    "Come in Vad." Catherine''s voice boomed. I unlocked the door to see Catherine hunched over her desk scribbling down on paper. "Not Vadoma unfortunately..." My body ushered through the door frame as Catherine''s head turned. Her red eyes pin-pointed to me. Her brows once furrowed became relaxed. "Oh, Belly darling. How nice to see you." Catherine sat up as her shoulders cracked. "Really? You have been cooped up here for days without speaking to me." I slowly moved to Catherine''s desk, my hand placed her drink next to her.


    "I am truly sorry Belly, I have been distant to you now have I." Catherine leaned in her chair grasping the glass. I nodded. "Awe, well I am sorry iubito. I want to make it up to you." Catherine arose from her chair, she took a stride in her robe exposing her porcelain thigh. Her arms reached out as her palms cupped my cheeks. "You do not necessarily have to." My eyes glanced up to meet Catherine''s eyes as I felt Catherine''s index graze my cheek. "Yes, I do my love..." She broke our stare for a moment to watch her finger against my cheek. "My dear...you are cold as ice." Catherine let go of my cheeks, running down my neck to my shoulders.


    "How can you tell?! You are always cold Catherine." Catherine''s hands ran rampant over my arms to attempt to warm my body. "Bella, even if I am not warm-blooded any longer, I can still tell when your body temperature is not adequate." Her rubbing began to burn on my arms. As if candle wax was to be poured on my skin. I felt a sharp sting hit the side of my arm. I whinced as my body leaped back. "Ouch! Catherine!" I examined my arm to see but a scratch. As scratch the same sight Roman would give if I pestered him too often. From a nail. "What? What happened?" Catherine froze before me. "I think you nicked me with one of your nails." The scratch did not break my skin, no blood. Catherine held my wrist further inspecting this little break of my skin. "Oh darling, I am sorry. It seems I haven''t been doing a good job on my upkeep." We both peered down to Catherine''s hands. Her nails as striking white against her more pale skin. The grey nailbeds brought out the only colour of Catherine''s hands. The tips were sharply pointed, however, the tips of her nails are beginning to crack.


    "I can see that...and felt it." I passed Catherine to her desk in search of something. Of what? Who knows until I found it. "Here! Allow me to fix it." I pulled out a small knife, normally used to open letters and parcels. Catherine backed away as her thighs leaned against the mattress. "Woah, now. I do not want you to ruin them. I will admit they are my only defence." Catherine fell back onto her ass. I raised myself onto tip-toes leaping onto Catherine''s lap.


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    A rather bizarre sight surely, but Catherine''s attitude was the sort of a child. "I''m not going to cut them to the nub now, just cut where the nails are cracked." I reached out for Catherine''s hand beginning on her thumb. "I know what I am doing Catherine. I did this constantly for my father. Do you not trust me?" I began to dig the blade in the tip of Catherine''s nail as it began to peel off. "I normally do in these situations, but you are still so cold you are shaking."


    "I am not cold! Can we drop the subject, if you stopped squirming then you need not worry." I muttered finishing her left hand with ease. "See, almost done. Just need your right hand now." I switched her hands as she sat in disbelief. "I know what I am feeling Bella. Your arms are cold, though your thighs are like a fireplace." Catherine''s hand crept lower tracing her freshly trimmed nails along my thigh. "Is that so?"


    "It is so. I can feel it." Catherine''s hand planted on my thigh firmly. "This is not the vision I had for me to repay you, Bella." I finished with Catherine''s nails arising from my spot to put the knife in its original place. "You do not need to Catherine." I turned back around to see Catherine amid our brief stare-down. She held out a hand motioning me to come closer with her middle and ring finger. "Yes, I do. I will." I trotted before Catherine as my thighs brushed her knees. "You are still cold. Come curl into bed, I want to warm your little frame." She hooked her hand on my wrist as she pulled me into her mattress. Catherine swung her legs off the floor into bed. She adjusted her position to have her back prompted on the bedframe. "Come to me..." Catherine''s legs opened underneath her robe to leave an opening. You can tell she dawned nothing under her robe and called me to entertain the idea of laying upon her. I thought no harm would come to it. I often sleep with her regularly with nothing but a stitch on my back. How could this be different? "Fine, if you insist." I crept my body along the bed on my knees. I spun around to lay my back on Catherine''s chest as my hips were snug between her legs. "I insist deeply." Catherine''s pale nails dug into the sheets as she drew them further over my body, over my shoulders. "Christ. You are even more cold under the blankets." Catherine chattered. "Vadoma! Vadoma!" Her yell frightened me. Or so I realized as she yelled out for Vad, her hand resting on my shoulder before my body jolted.


    "Yes, yes I heard you, Valeria. What you need?..." Vad appeared with a breath in her lungs. She smirked as an eyebrow began to rise. "So...I see you two have sorted things hm?"


    "Definitely. Go into the closet and get the bear fur will you? Bella is chilled to the bone."


    "But of course Valeria." Vad left more quickly than she entered. "Why would you do such a thing? Vadoma is your servant. Not mine. If you asked I would have gotten the fur." Vadoma reappeared with a rather large pelt. As it dragged on the wooden floors. Vadoma fluffed the fur as it draped over the bed. "No, you will fall ill if you leave." Catherine''s hand held firm on my shoulder. "Thank you, Vad." I nodded as if a way to say ''you did not need to do this'' look. Catherine nodded in agreeance. "My pleasure Bella," Vadoma smirked a nod. "I will be taking my leave of the night. Oh and Valeria?"


    "What Vadoma?"


    "Nu prea greu cu ea." Vad slithered out of our room. Catherine chuckled under her breath. "What did Vadoma say?" I glanced over my shoulder to see Catherine''s smile. "Oh, nothing for you to worry over." Catherine''s fingers intertwined in the straps of my gown. As her fingers tugged at the very fabric that held my gown on my shoulders. "How am I to be warm when you insist on me being unclothed?" A cluster of my curls fell forward in front of my eyes. I blew them away to figure my chest was exposed. In the heap of my hair, Catherine managed to pull the top of my gown down to my hips. "You will be warm with me iubirea, under these sheets, under the fur. Clothes are...overrated in my bedroom." I shimmied the rest of my gown off my body. Catherine retrieved it under the blankets, tossing it to the floor. "Do you not think we are going down a certain path Catherine?" Catherine huffed out laying an arm above the headboard as her other hand tangled in my curls. "What path would that be my dear?"


    "Indecency?"


    "Ha, and what about this do you find indecent? Just two women in bed, enjoying each other''s company. Who are quite fond of each other might I add. What is indecent about that huh?" Catherine''s nails caught in my hair as her hand pulled away. "Owe! Cath..." I whinced as my body pulled away. "Oh I am sorry darling, come back. We were warm for a minute." I laid back to find Catherine''s warmth still residing. "You have not answered my question, Bella?"


    "Well...when you put it like that...it does seem rather childish to think of indecency at the moment." My eyes were fixated, on the ceiling. The way the dark of this room seemed to be painted with such brightness with every candle lit. "On that note, I think I found how I can make it up to you Bella." Catherine''s hands tucked themself under the sheets, sliding her palms against my thighs. "You are not going to stop beating this dead horse now are you?" My eyes fluttered in exhaustion but more it was a sign of peace. "I am quite adamant. Do not worry, you will enjoy it."


    "Really now?"


    "Yes my love, will you let me?" Catherine lifted the blankets off our bodies escaping the heat. My body startled me, the olive tone had faded to Catherine''s shade before the candlelight illuminated my thighs to show its true hue. "Yes-...Catherine." Catherine''s hands caressed my thighs as her nails scratched my skin. "You know I''m not the type to act anything seriously but...I mean it when I say I need you." Her nails dug in a rather hard pressure. "Now, open your legs." My serene demeanour was halted. My eyes shot open. "M-My legs?"


    "Yes, you need to know that you are the easiest choice I''ve ever made." Catherine used her index and pinky fingers to apply more pressure to spread the softest parts of my thighs. Her middle and ring fingers motioned the air, curling her fingers inward. I finally realized what was happening. Perhaps I knew this was coming all along but I was prolonging it. Catherine rested her chin on my shoulder. "Tell me to stop and we stop. I don''t care what''s happening. All I care about is you." Catherine''s hand traced along the hefty fuzz trailing down my loins. I nodded with the feeling of something pressing on my vocal cords. I could not mutter an utterance. Her middle finger dipped into me. The feeling I know all too familiar from my hand, however, to feel it from another person was new. To not know what their next move is. Just the thought of what Catherine was going to do next made me have goosebumps.


    Catherine''s finger traced through my slit with ease. The feeling was something I could never fathom, not even words could explain the burst of emotion I felt by just a touch. My clenched jaw loosened allowing only a hum to escape my lips. Catherine''s wrist flicked a circular motion around the parting of my lips to trail higher to my clit. My measle hums broke out in short moans that could not be stopped.


    "That''s it. Spread your legs, baby, that''s it... Wider." Catherine''s other hand latched on my thigh as I widened it more until my ankle hung over the mattress. "Oh...n-no...oh!" I felt my head pivot around my shoulders but it felt as though I was not in my body. My head was floating. Like a ball rolling on the ground. Catherine''s finger stopped toying with my clit, sliding her finger lower to my opening, slowly entering. My hips bucked as my head flew back hitting Catherines slouder. "Oh God!"


    "Good... good girl. Come on, you can do this." Her whisper was hot against my ear as I felt her finger tilt inside me. Her slow hand movements persisted roughly. My body stuck to Catherine''s, the heat between us was too hard to handle. My body insisted on moving away from her. My shoulders were unstuck, leaping away falling to my knees. My elbows sunk into the mattress as my back arched in the air. Catherine chuckled hoisting herself on her knees. "Phew iubito..." Catherine wiped the sweat on her forehead, her body sprung over mine. As her finger harshly reinserted however not alone. As I realized she entered two instead of one. "Ah!...Cath-..." My hands gripped the bedsheets. Catherine''s fingers curled inside me as they began to take speed. The constant smack of her palm against my ass echoed throughout Catherine''s room. Catherine''s other hand swept my hair away from my back balling it in a fist, tugging fiercely. "Urgh! C-C-Cat...s-stop...I''m-..."


    "Gonna what huh? Cum? Do it. Do it, Bella." Catherine''s hand drove inside me with an increased speed to not let up. My body felt as if I was melting being one with the bedsheets. Catherine''s grip on my hair elevated my neck even more. "F-fuck...Catherine!" My jaw clenched as this wave of emotion flooded in. I knew what this feeling was, I have felt this before however it felt immensely different from another person. Another set of hands, fingers I should say. I felt it all, every mysterious movement of her fingers. Every click of Catherine''s tongue against her teeth. Every movement of love pushed deep inside of my being. Love cannot be forced, nor bought. It must be given with intention. The very same intention Catherine gave.


    My arms turned to mush, I became a baby fawn attempting to stand. Catherine laughed at my stance. Her hand swept around my throat pulling me back to her lap. "Awe, come my love. You twitch like rabbit." Catherine embroiled us under the covers of her sheets, the warmth was too much to handle. As the covers grazed my chest I pushed away.


    "Pftt..I''m too hot." I whinced allowing my chest to feel a breeze. "Oh, so now someone''s hot huh?"


    "Very. You are not?"


    "Hands are warm. Nothing else. That''s the point, honey. You know, the vampire thing? The only place I am warm is where I was touching you." Catherine moved her hands past my body to my thighs caressing ever so gently. The realization of her middle and ring fingers stuck together as she pried them apart on my thigh. The sticky sensation spread on my skin. It was me. My back shivered.


    "I''m so embarrassed¡ª" I leaped from Catherine''s lap landing on the bed beside her.


    "Why? It''s okay, you do not have to be embarrassed with me. You are safe with me." She seemed surprised by my statement. As if she would never imagine I would say such a thing. Her hands left from the blankets intertwining in my hair. The smell of myself on Catherine''s fingers made my stomach turn, I had no reason for it. It just felt so strange to smell it anywhere else but me. "Anyways, I missed that certain sound of your voice." I pulled away from her hand landing my head on the pillow. "My voice? How?" I huffed blowing a strand of curls from my face. Catherine laid her head on the pillow pivoting her body to face me."It''s a good voice. I heard it once while you were in the tub. By yourself-...I mean."


    "You were watching me!?" I shrieked rolling onto my shoulder.


    "How can I not Bella, your moans piqued my interest." Catherine crept her arms around my waist as she pulled me close. "And may I say, my interest has been explored in depth definitely." She yawned letting her fangs point out so promptly. "I just hope you enjoyed this, my love."


    "Oh I did-...or so I think."