《Newly Broke Heroine! [Book One Complete, Cozy Fantasy Adventure]》 Vol. 1, Ch. 1: Motherflipping Taxes, Man The day was cool and refreshing, the birds were chirping, the morning sun was creeping high into the sky, and Fiona Swiftheart noted only one thing out of place on her way to the palace: A lack of celebration and merrymaking. She had to stop herself and examine the normal bustle of activity outside the kingdom palace, where people came and went on business, and to the adjoining office suites. The palace was three floors of fancy granite and marble, stained glass windows, and arcane tapestries fluttering in the wind. The tapestries showed off the emblem of the crown, and a steel-colored griffin with lazy animations on the colorful blue fabric. The usual chrome-domed knights that guarded the grounds were standing there lazily by the entryway. One of them was leaning on his halberd, like he¡¯d been out hitting the tavern a little too hard. A second made a sound like a backed up washing machine, and was holding his head with his free hand. Other than that, it looked like a normal day at the steel-lined doors to the palace of King Greybeard. ¡°Hey, Greg? Did we get the day wrong? Am I early?¡± Fiona asked her assistant, who could not stop scribbling in his notebook. He peered up from the paper, a flash of puppy dog brown eyes and light brown hair cleanly cut to medium length. ¡°I mean, It¡¯s Fiersday, right?¡± ¡°It¡¯s Fiersday, Fiona,¡± he sighed. ¡°I, too, am noting a lack of ¡®partying¡¯ going on here.¡± ¡°That¡¯s okay, we can fix that! I went and beat up a giant dragon lord, stole his stuff, and ended a war! Oh, and I made a dragon cry. That has to be some cosmic-level event!¡± she declared with a gleeful smile. She took a deep breath while clasping her hands to her chest, imagining that treasure pile sitting in a storage area, waiting to be properly dived through. She was currently covered in silver and gold armor that conformed to her lithe body with fluidity, with greaves and gauntlets to match. ¡°Maybe the guild got here early, and they¡¯re throwing a gala inside!¡± ¡°Or maybe, they forgot?¡± Greg proposed with a raised eyebrow. He kept peering up at the windows as if noticing something she did not. Her pointy ears twitched at his suggestion. ¡°This¡­looks like a regular business day for the palace.¡± ¡°C¡¯mon, Greg, I went and beat the dragon lord! I saved Fiefdala from an army of cute, adorable little kobolds and their overgrown big brother, pain in the butt dragon. Kind of funny, how that group of plushie rejects gave Greybeard so much trouble, but whatever! Time to get some loot, and show the adventurers guild had his back!¡± she cackled while rubbing her hands together. But, fashion first. She tucked her wavy red hair behind her long ears¨Cit was always getting so frizzy. ¡°Man, the boys at the guild never thought a lithe elf girl could pull this off, or slay a bunch of monsters, but I proved ¡®em wrong!¡± ¡°Your exploits are known,¡± he said drolly. ¡°Actually, you don¡¯t advertise it much. You should do that more.¡± ¡°Like, a lot?¡± ¡°No, in moderation,¡± he replied with a hint of a crease to his lips. His gaze wandered to the gold scepter with a black crystal embedded in the holster sitting on her back. ¡°Um, that infernal thing is whispering again.¡± ¡°Yeah, I hear it too. It¡¯s annoying,¡± she sighed. ¡®Hey, use me and I¡¯ll give you green scales and wings, and we can rule the kingdom together!¡¯ Seriously, why would any bonehead ever trust a magic item like that? Sounds pretty sus to me.¡± ¡°We should melt it down,¡± Greg proposed. ¡°Eh, just ignore it! The stupid dragon probably listened to it in his quest to take over the kingdom. Well, look how that turned out for him! I just love saying I got his magic stick!¡± she added while skipping along. ¡°Doug, the evil dragon, lived iiin the swaaamp¡­ and frolicked in the brackish wastes, in a land called Sukitup! Little kobold minions loved that silly drake, and brought him tissues and chocolates, and other coping plates!¡± ¡°Please, not again,¡± Greg groaned audibly. ¡°You have sung that infectious tune for the past two days. We understand you are enthusiastic over this victory.¡± ¡°I totally am!¡± she declared triumphantly while puffing out her chest, and waved at the guards as she walked by. They didn''t even ask for her ID. They simply waved her through¨Cshe was on a first-name basis with Greybeard now, and everyone knew her here now! ¡°I do feel a bit sad, though. I put all those big-eyed kobolds out of work! I mean, should I have given them a job in the adventurer¡¯s guild¨C¡± ¡°No, and no, please don¡¯t. You have a habit of picking up strays, dangerous pets, and bad habits.¡± She stuck her tongue out at Greg as the doors swung open to plushily furnished flooring, accent rugs, and beautiful varnished wood paneling inside the palace. ¡°I still say, you should have brought the dragon lord here as a prisoner.¡± ¡°Why bother? His guys abandoned him when they saw him get thrown like a rag doll, and he signed the papers for surrender. He¡¯s no longer a problem!¡± Fiona countered. ¡°C¡¯mon, don¡¯t be a square, it¡¯s party time!¡± she declared while waiting at a set of double doors, and a guard in too-shiny armor nodded stiffly. ¡°I hope they have cake here for the event! And snacks!¡± ¡°They will likely have snacks, Fiona.¡± He let a chuckle escape his lips. ¡°How do you eat so many snacks, and stay apex fit?¡± ¡°It¡¯s a girly secret, Greg,¡± she said with a wink from one eye. She eyed the twin guards standing by the door to the main meeting hall, and a few nobles milling about, talking quietly with one another. ¡°Yo, Greybeard¡¯s supposed to have a party! Where¡¯s the glitz and glamor, chrome head?¡± she asked the one of the guards¡ªthe one with the small feathers on the top of his helmet. The knight pulled out a scroll that unfurled far enough to hit the marble floor, and read through it, frowning. ¡°I don¡¯t recall anything huge, but I may have missed the memo. Ahem.¡± The other guard opened the door, while the head knight cleared his throat. ¡°Now announcing Fiona Swiftheart, first of her name, champion of Fiefdala, conqueror of the dragon lord¨C¡± ¡°Oh my gosh, I have titles?!¡± she beamed and interrupted the man¡¯s train of thought, and the paper crinkled as he halted his reading. ¡°No wait, I want another one! Fiona, the awesome baker! I want that one, too!¡± The man scratched his head and looked confused. ¡°Uh¡­I don¡¯t give out the titles.¡± ¡°Well, who does? Take me to that guy! I want that title, I saved the kingdom, so I want a cool one!¡± she said with a grin and leaned on her hammer. ¡°Nah, you know what, put it on my schedule. Greg, write that down!¡± ¡°Done!¡± Greg declared and scribbled the task down on her to-do list. She was about to get a major payday, so shopping was next on the list, and she rubbed her hands together gleefully. She¡¯d finally be able to have a girl''s night out with her besties! She¡¯d spent all her money on equipment for the task of fighting the dragon lord, but she hadn¡¯t even needed it! She wondered if she overpaid a little bit, and wondered what she could get for selling this new stuff! Sadly, gold had been a little lacking in the dragon¡¯s horde. Really lacking. He had treasure and items, but the liquid gold assets were strangely missing. She¡¯d just have to sell most of it¡ªmost of it, she didn¡¯t need personally, or she¡¯d donate to the guild. The shiny chrome head hadn¡¯t opened the door yet but had been getting a few whispered messages from an assistant, who poked their head out every couple of minutes. ¡°Greg, I¡¯m gonna stretch my legs, I¡¯ll be back in a bit.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure it won¡¯t be long,¡± he replied. She peeked her head into a meeting room just to see if anyone she recognized was around. But it was¡­empty. And dusty. She frowned at this¡ªthis was the palace, where was the cleaning staff? Another lounge room also seemed a bit dusty. She narrowed her eyes. ¡°Did someone give the maids the day off? Seriously Greybeard, I leave for a few weeks, and you let this place go to pieces. Where¡¯s the celebration?¡± It was the mood in the room that was strange. People were here, but there wasn¡¯t a celebratory mood. It was strangely¡­normal. Like it was day to day business. Why am I getting weird vibes? Something is going on. She walked back to Greg, concerned. ¡°You know what, maybe they did forget about a celebration. And the maids took the day off, this place is almost always shining.¡± Greg raised an eyebrow. ¡°There does seem to be¡ª" He was interrupted by the announcer with the scroll longer than his body. ¡°Your presence has been announced, they¡¯ll see you now¨C¡± ¡°Cool, got to go and get my loot! Then I got to go shopping, get a healthy round of drinks, and then a jacuzzi!¡± She was buying a jacuzzi with that money. Magic had made life livable in this place, without too much modern technology. The broad doors opened, and she skipped in and saw¨C ¡°Hey, who are you?¡± she demanded. She''d expected Greybeard--regal, middle-aged, handsome, and beardly--to meet her. What she saw was that smug, handsome blond-haired kid that had been hanging around the king, and he was sitting on the throne! That didn¡¯t bode well, King Greybeard wasn¡¯t going to like people messing with his stuff! She skidded to a halt when she realized that wasn¡¯t his shiny blonde hair she was seeing on his head. It was the crown! ¡°Also, where¡¯s Greybeard? I thought he was tossing some big gala for me! And my friends in the guild, they helped a ton, too!" The blonde man, no older than his early twenties, smiled politely. He did bear a resemblance to him, vaguely. ¡°Dad went on vacation, when he heard Douglas the Red sued for peace. He¡¯s in a hot spring with Mum up in the north. I¡¯m Barry Greybeard, the regent king.¡± he said with a smile. Not the polite kind of smile, either. It was a sneering smile. The kind she hated. This was trouble, and she knew it. ¡°You met me, twice.¡± ¡°Look, no offense against you, but if you weren¡¯t offering me snacks, or didn¡¯t come off as a social butterfly, I might have missed you,¡± she replied. ¡°So, Greybeard put you in charge?¡± ¡°Yes, yes, of course! I understand your confusion, I got the throne for a bit! It¡¯s all a bit on the down-low. My father wanted to make an announcement, but I was like, ¡®no, let¡¯s not bother the people!¡¯¡± ¡°Er¡­yeah.¡± She leaned on her weapon before glancing around. There were two pressing concerns in her mind, first, where was the rest of the crowd, and accolades? Heck, what about some food, or some of those little appetizers with bacon? Shouldn¡¯t there be more fanfare for the heroine and her friends, who saved a kingdom? The second, was: Greybeard was a terrible last name for a guy who magnificently lacked a beard. And Lucy, his eldest daughter. Except, if maybe she was a dwarf, but she wasn¡¯t. Well, time to break the ice. And not call him beardless, Fiona thought to herself. ¡°So, Barry, guess what?! The dragon lord¡¯s gone, and I got his magic stick! I mean, I have a magic stick, but not his¨Cyou get the idea.¡± Her face reddened when she spoke too fast, and she glanced at the powerful artifact, which swirled with dark powers inside the crystal in the end. The sooner I melt this sucker down, the better. You don¡¯t need a king, you need a queen! Wield me and we¡¯ll put this blonde benchwarmer in his place! The dragon queen¡ª Oh shut up, evil artifact, no one likes you. After six months in Cepalune, she knew one thing: never trust something if you can¡¯t see where it stores its brains, and this item was no exception. ¡°So uh, yeah! Douglas surrendered, and people are moving back in! everything¡¯s peachy, now!¡± Barry laughed that awkward laugh, again. ¡°So yes, we thank you for your services. You have joined the ranks of heroes of this land, and we are forever in your debt.¡±Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. ¡°Hey now, I take cash, checks, or money orders, just ship it to my little apartment in the upper quarter, my friend Bonnie will take care of it,¡± she replied and glanced around again. Not even a glass of champagne? Boy, this guy was being cheap, she missed Greybeard already, even though he¡¯d been a bit too hot a flirt in front of his wife. It must be a cultural thing in this world. ¡°Barry, where is everyone? I thought there¡¯d be, you know, a celebration. Merrymaking! Wine, mead, those cool kielbasa things that your father had at that party this spring. I mean, c¡¯mon, it was tough work beating that dude. I still have to finish taking inventory of all that stuff that stupid dragon had!¡± ¡°Yes, about that. Cedric, could you give her the envelope?¡± Barry said with an evil smile. That dummy with the chrome helmet too small for his head bowed stiffly, and handed her an envelope, with some papers inside. She hated papers like this. Usually, when someone gave you papers like this, it was because you were being sued, pestered by some foreign prince running a pyramid scheme, or taxes. She read the papers, and her eyes widened as she clenched the doom scroll in her gauntlets. ¡°Are you serious?¡± ¡°Yes, it¡¯s unfortunate. The war with the dragon lord drained our coffers. Heroes from across the land have volunteered a percentage of their yearly gains to our treasury. The hero tax, I believe, is what my scribe calls it. It¡¯s all there, it¡¯s baked right there in the kingdom''s laws.¡± Barry oozed smugness with his words like he''d been planning this. She was losing her cool because it was like seeing the credit card bill overdrawn, and late. She started hyperventilating and could use one of those drinks that someone forgot to bring to this not-party. ¡°Barry, this is a mistake. I¡¯ve been working freelance, pro bono! Is this for real?!¡± Barry smiled politely. ¡°Well now, you did acquire a certain number of items that previously belonged in the possession of the dragon in his hoard--who continues to be an adversary. That counts as income since his possessions were subject to forfeiture.¡± Oh, no, this blonde kid was like a lawyer. She hated lawyers, this life and the last. And he was using loopholes to the effect of¡­ She nearly dropped the papers and stammered, wide-eyed at that huge number. She hadn¡¯t racked up a credit card debt like that in her life, her last mortgage wasn¡¯t that far underwater. She shouted at the top of her lungs, in disbelief, and outrage, and likely woke up the hung-over guard hundreds of feet away with a scream of the doomed. ¡°I OWE ONE MILLION, SIX HUNDRED THOUSAND, AND THIRTY-EIGHT GOLD?!¡± Fiona shrilled. ¡°That¨CI call bullshit! There¡¯s no way I owe that much!¡± ¡°Your assistant forwarded the papers of your inventory, as required by the law,¡± Barry said unapologetically and steepled his fingers together. ¡°You¡¯ll find all that is in order. We also have excluded the current items you are wearing, in a gesture of generosity.¡± ¡°But-but¨CI saved the kingdom! There wouldn¡¯t be a taxman if I hadn¡¯t saved the kingdom! You wouldn¡¯t be sitting on that cushy throne that looked like it came from an Ikea set in the medieval world If I hadn¡¯t shown up!¡± she stated in a rage. ¡°How the hell am I supposed to pay for this, that¡¯s more gold than I¡¯ve ever had at any one point! This is like¡­Hall Street levels of wealth!¡± She did have one bargaining chip. All that loot! She didn¡¯t need most of it, she could dump it on them, and let them sort it out! The last thing she wanted was trouble with the taxman. Taxmen only ranked second among the people she hated the most: lawyers. ¡°Barry, just take my cut from the dragon lord''s stuff, it should more than cover the bill, problem solved!¡± ¡°Ah, sorry, the laws are clear. Cash only. Which means, transactions of gold,¡± he replied, and did that leering smile, like he¡¯d just beaten someone in a completely one-sided battle. ¡°Which means, you¡¯ll need to sell your items. You¡¯re a resourceful woman, I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll find a solution in no time.¡± She glanced at the items on her list. ¡°Barry, do you have any idea how long it would take to sell this kind of volume? These items cost more to make than some entire kingdoms have in their coffers at any one time! Where am I supposed to find a buyer for these?! I spent all my money on equipment for this task! Selling it back, slightly used? That¡¯s gonna be a hard sell.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not a ¡®me¡¯ problem, Fiona, that¡¯s a ¡®you¡¯ problem, as the commoners say,¡± Barry responded with a shrug. She glared at that muppet on the throne and wanted to take her giant hammer and teach him how humans played croquet back on Earth. Namely, with earth-shattering hammers, and his head as the ball. But that would probably cause more problems involving police officers, which were the number three bane of her existence. She always ended up getting pulled over for speeding. Regicide would probably cost a lot more than a speeding ticket. She even got pulled over for driving her horse too fast! My new plan, my next ride is a dragon! No lawman would dare pull over a dragon, she thought while she directed her ire at Barry. She had a crisis on her hands. ¡°Where am I going to find that kind of coin?! I¡¯m a newly broke heroine!¡± she exclaimed with a slight wail to her tone. ¡°I busted my butt for this kingdom, and then you tax me?! That¡¯s not fair! I was supposed to get fame, fortune, and maybe, a retirement account! Your dad¡¯s gonna get an earful for this!¡± ¡°Might I make a gentle suggestion?¡± Barry called out with a yawn from that lofty perch on his throne. She wanted to chuck that evil scepter at his head to dislodge him from his seat. It might be almost worth it. ¡°You could open a merchant business. Surely, you¡¯ve made connections in your recent efforts against the dragon lord. There are bound to be clientele that would be interested in purchasing or auctioning such valuable items,¡± he said with pursed lips before motioning to his orderly. ¡°Go into retail?!¡± she screamed. ¡°I¡¯d rather die! Again!¡± ¡°Again? There was a first time?¡± Greg asked with a puzzled look on his face. ¡°Greg, ix-nay on the isekai-nay,¡± she hissed. Barry, however, didn¡¯t waste a beat, and motioned to the guards by the door. ¡°The hero tax is in effect for a year. We expect monthly payments toward the principal. Failure to pay on time will be construed as theft from the crown¡¯s treasury. A truly reprehensible crime,¡± he uttered with that crap-eating grin that she hated. It reminded her of her last boyfriend, boasting he could kill any monster. Said ex-boyfriend¡¯s current location was in a dragon¡¯s stomach. She wished Barry would share the same fate. ¡°Dude, this is dragon crap, and you know it,¡± Fiona growled. ¡°I concur, Your Majesty,¡± Greg said before clenching his jaw, and he¡¯d pushed his pen through the pages of his notes. That was unusual for him. ¡°This is highly unorthodox, and I have no recollection of such means of taxing wealth.¡± ¡°Want my opinion? Sell the stuff and pay off what you owe. You¡¯re resourceful, and I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll find a solution,¡± Barry said with a shrug. ¡°Oh, hell no, Your Majesty. I refuse. This is robbery, I never agreed to this. You know what? Come and take it, if you¡¯ve got the balls,¡± she challenged while glaring at him, arms folded. ¡°Ten gold says you don¡¯t.¡± Barry sighed and rolled his eyes. ¡°You know, if I hadn¡¯t had to do this yesterday a few times, this would be entertaining. Now it¡¯s just a chore.¡± Something about the way he said it drew her attention. Then it clicked. ¡°You dropped this bomb on the adventurer¡¯s guild already.¡± ¡°Correct.¡± He practically gushed delightfully. ¡°Whoopsie, I guess someone didn¡¯t get the second message.¡± Fiona narrowed her eyes. ¡°You bamboozled them, too, huh? Wow, kid, you are too stupid to live if you think they¡¯ll take this lying down.¡± ¡°Oh, but they will, and they have,¡± he yawned as if this bored him. Greg was trying to reach for her arm, as if he knew what she was about to do. This was a sin that wasn¡¯t going to go unpunished. ¡°You stiffed them after they risked their lives for this kingdom? Oh no, Barry. They might not have wanted to make a scene, but I¡¯m about to. Anyone who doesn¡¯t want in on the fun time, start lining up at the doors, please,¡± she announced. ¡°I¡¯ll give you guys a minute.¡± ¡°If you¡¯d bothered to read the fine print on the contract, you¡¯d have seen the enforcement clause of any gains from your exploits,¡± Barry warned her. ¡°Which, I¡¯m more than happy to enforce. You¡¯re going to be uncooperative, aren¡¯t you? Well, there¡¯s a fix for that.¡± He stood up from the throne, and rolled up the sleeve on his right arm, and she saw a flash of light. A golden light, and she saw a form take shape on his wrist. She¡¯d seen magic before, but this was eye-opening. She saw the form take shape¡ªa crown with bleeding, thorn-filled vines wrapped around it, in the form of a tattoo on his wrist. The thorns writhed and snaked around that crown. It was unsettling, to put it mildly. ¡°Fiona Swiftheart, you will pay this debt, as commanded by your king,¡± he declared. ¡°You signed a contract at the beginning of your little adventure to defend this kingdom against threats, and to uphold laws. You will do so, or you shall be subject to King¡¯s Justice.¡± Greg tried to throw her out of the way of what was coming. She saw it in his anguished face, he knew he was too slow. A phantom thorny vine shot out from Barry¡¯s wrist at lightning speed, skewered through her armor and her heart. She felt the sting of a thousand nettles spread through her body, an intense agony that left her screaming¡ª And then the pain abruptly stopped, even as her screaming continued, and the vines vanished. Her screams petered out, slowly. She looked around wild-eyed, and then at her armor and chest, and everyone was on their feet, shouting, crying, roaring in outrage. ¡°What¡ªwhat just happened?¡± she whispered. ¡°Oh, that? That was the mark of Authority. As granted to me by my class,¡± Barry grinned. ¡°I¡¯ll keep it simple: you¡¯ll pay this debt, or else.¡± She tapped at the armor¡ªthose vines went through her. She was still stuck on that, and Greg was on his feet, screaming at the outrage. She only partially heard it. She didn¡¯t feel any different¡ªbut that pain had been there. Greg was being restrained by no less than three knights, barely holding him at bay. ¡°This is how you treat your heroes?!¡± Greg screamed. ¡°This is how you repay the people who serve the backbone of this nation? How dare you!¡± Barry shrugged and his face had the most unapologetic, crap-eating grin imaginable. ¡°Now, to demonstrate something for you, Miss Swiftheart¡ªand I suggest you pay attention¡ªI¡¯ve added a timer to this mark.¡± He tapped that bramble crown on his wrist, and she felt a nettle stab her in the heart. She staggered to her knee, but once again, there was no visible injury present. She rubbed at her chest where the pain was slower to fade. ¡°Now, seeing as the condition is ¡®pay the debt in a year¡¯ as a dissolution trigger, that little mark won¡¯t bother you. Well, until then. Then you¡¯ll die.¡± She glanced up at Barry and reached for her hammer. But Greg had relented on his accusations, and kept her from lifting the weapon. ¡°Don¡¯t.¡± His single word warning, and his soft gaze, told her that this action would only make things worse. He lifted her to her feet, before lowering his tone. ¡°This is not a battle you¡¯ll win here.¡± ¡°Greg, he just cursed me to die. He likely did the same to some other guild members who got mouthy about what he did,¡± she hissed, barely above a whisper. ¡°He is dead where he stands.¡± ¡°Fiona, not here, and not now,¡± he insisted in a hushed voice. ¡°We can¡¯t solve this one as it is, right now.¡± She glared at him, like he was part of the problem, too! "Where, where I come from, he would be stabbed and dragged through the streets, for what he just did.¡± "Fiona, you need a plan to combat this one. Even Rikkard Greybeard won''t be able to let it slide if you attack his son," he whispered right back, eyes narrowed. She wanted to snap back that she could put this corrupt brat in his place...but stopped. Greg was right. If she treated this guy like her monster-slaying problems, she¡¯d lose it all, again. Her apartment. Her adorable pet. The friends she''d made in this kingdom. Also, that dire issue of keeling over dead might be a problem, eventually. She needed information, and fast. She hadn¡¯t seen magic like this before. ¡°So, if I don¡¯t come up with this money¡­¡± ¡°You¡¯ll be dead,¡± he concluded. ¡°Don¡¯t suppose this is one of those types of curses that loses power if the caster dies, does it?¡± He shook his head vigorously. Well, there goes the easy fix. ¡°He is the only one who can dispel it, minus a few others, and if he doesn¡¯t hold up--¡± Greg halted, as if unsure how to proceed, while Barry stood there, looking irritated. ¡°Can you move this outside? You have your task, Miss Swiftheart. Pay up.¡± ¡°No, hang on Greg. What if he doesn¡¯t honor the promise? Or, what if I can get the money? Or what if I can prove I don¡¯t owe any money?¡± she whispered, the idea coming to mind from inspiration from earlier in her life. Greg tilted his head, then his face lit up. ¡°Then it disappears as a fulfilled condition. By the way, he can only do that to a person once. I think,¡± he offered. ¡°I will tell you more once we¡¯re out of here.¡± "Okay. I don¡¯t fully understand what happened, but I know this: this brat has taken his last cheap shot at me. I have an idea. Follow my lead.¡± Even though Barry had just cursed her, he wasn¡¯t getting the satisfaction of seeing her walking out of there in tears. ¡°I¡¯ve got your back,¡± Greg said without hesitation. She did have a solution. She hated it as much as she hated Barry. She needed to either auction these items for their worth, and then some, or¡­ She was going to have to run a business, again. Which for her, was a fate almost worse than death. "Okay. Well, here goes nothing." She turned to view that blonde vulture in the chair, and summoned the courage to do something reckless. And buy time. "I demand an audit!" Everyone looked at her blankly. Even Barry was surprised. "I''m sorry, what?" "I demand an audit! You jacked the tax rate, overvalued the items, neglected to consider my business expenses, did not take my holdings and equipment depreciation values into the equation, failed to account for my charitable donations, and I could go on!" she shouted. She probably didn''t need to shout to be heard, but this felt like it needed to be loud. "You can''t do that," Barry spat. That was a lie because his eyes twitched as he said it. "Actually, she can." Greg picked up the cue and was scribbling something on his notepad. "I do her bookwork, and the math is wrong. Her burden may be dropped to next to nothing, taking these into account. She is within her rights, which means, collection activities stop until the audit is complete," he said with a smile. And Greg rarely smiled. "Would you like me to cite the proper section of the City of Fiefdala''s tax laws? You should know them. After all, you worked there before your...promotion." The look on Barry''s face, a thinly veiled sneer, was all it took for Fiona to do an internal fist pump. "I''m the king. She owes money, per the Hero Tax." "Yes, I''m aware of that spiteful law, now that you¡¯ve jogged my memory. I did learn history, after all. But the facts do not lie. She can challenge this." "There is no way on Cepalune she can zero that amount." It almost sounded like a growl from Barry. She turned back to the throne, narrowing her eyes at the placeholder king. ¡°Oh yeah, Barry? Watch me. You will never personally see a copper from me, and anything I do owe goes to the city of Fiefdala, who are collectively cooler than you. I¡¯ll be back, and keep in mind I''m not the only person who you just hosed. And make sure you get those little sausage sandwich things that you guys made; this place needs more snacks!¡± She stomped out of the room, cursing kings, lawyers, and taxmen. Barry was a twisted combination of all the above. At least she could buy time to figure out how to get out of this mess. "Oh and Barry? Better hope I don¡¯t actually beat these odds." she shouted over her shoulder. She hated this guy worse than the dragon she just left beaten and humiliated in a swamp. At least the dragon had manners. If he hadn¡¯t been trying to burn down the kingdom, she might have gone on a date with him. Vol. 1, Ch. 2: Budget Cuts ¡°Fiona, he just put a death mark on you. How are you not terrified?¡± She was doing her best not to stumble in her steps, with Greg looking aghast. ¡°Because I¡¯ve looked in the face of my imminent death once already. After a dozen times of facing my own mortality while adventuring? It doesn¡¯t seem so scary.¡± They made their way back down the palace steps. ¡°That said, I am pissed off. The kid is too stupid to live. He stiffed the entire Adventurer¡¯s Guild. You don¡¯t do that to people who keep you on the throne. That tax was legit?¡± ¡°I think in some perverse interpretation of the law, maybe. I cannot believe Barry would dare to use his mark in that way,¡± he added once they were clear of the palace, and along some of the secondary streets. The morning sun was approaching midday and shining off the white brick and timber buildings that populated this area. He was thumbing through a crinkled paper, eyes narrowed. ¡°Son of a bitch. Who snuck this enforcement clause at the end? Did you actually sign this, Fiona?¡± ¡°Yes, because, heroics. It read pretty clear-cut, Greg,¡± she answered. He raised an eyebrow. ¡°Okay, I didn¡¯t read every single line.¡± ¡°Fiona, you kind of walked into his one.¡± She sighed, and rubbed her temples gently. ¡°I know, Greg! Make no mistake, that kid will be constantly watching over his shoulder for the rest of his natural-born life, after this. And I¡¯m not his only worry. Usually, when you take on a quest to help save a kingdom, there shouldn¡¯t be clauses that include ¡®death due to obscure tax laws¡¯ baked in!¡± The cheeriness of fall trees tinged with all sorts of red and purple notes, and the quaint brick streets were lined with people bustling about in the morning calm. A mounded leaf pile was being tended by a city worker, using a bit of magic to push all the leaves¡ªlike a magical leafblower. She really wanted to jump into that leaf pile to revisit fun childhood memories. She let out an exhale and cooled her nerves. ¡°Thanks for having my back there. I made a bold move that might come back to haunt me,¡± Fiona admitted. Wide lanes gave way to smaller pathways, where the buildings were a little closer, and small lawns dotted the front of the buildings. They were working their way down the paved stone street, back to her apartment at the nice end of the city. A few kids played with a small leather ball in the street, with a tiny elf, a bird girl, and a human boy all playing what she surmised was a game of soccer. ¡°It was the only winning move. You''re better suited to fighting monsters, not people. And you would have regretted it,¡± Greg stated candidly. The sound of smooth stone meeting her armored boots was so loud¨Cshe couldn''t wait to get back to her apartment and unwind. ¡°I very much doubt he had his father''s blessing before this maneuver.¡± She walked around the playing children to give them a wide berth, and her mood melted a little when she heard the kids shouting with enthusiasm. ¡°The nerve of that creep. I risk my life, I risk my reputation, I pass up on social events to slay monsters. I give a giant kick to the heads of despots and oversized lizards! But I get stuck with literal death and taxes!? The Adventurer¡¯s Guild likely also got the same treatment. That part burns me even more. Jake must be furious.¡± ¡°The law is real. It is also a spite law to categorize dragon hoards as historical finds, subject to treasure tax. Which you have paid before, though your spending habits leave much to be desired,¡± Greg stated with annoyance. ¡°From the intrigue I¡¯ve heard of the palace, Barry is not inept. Just not well-loved.¡± He was chewing on his pen. Again. She sighed and threw her hands up in the air. ¡°Look, Fiona, we¡¯ll get through this. You¡¯ve gotten through¡ª" She finally hit her break point and stopped. ¡°No Greg, this is insane. Who does that? Who threatens people with taxes or death? The tax man is the ultimate big bad! They never die, and they always collect! That makes them worse than dragons and demon kings! I haven¡¯t fought a demon king, but I¡¯m gonna, someday!¡± she fumed while stomping her feet. ¡°I have a year to figure this out. I¡¯ve run a business before.¡± ¡°Fiona don¡¯t let it¡ª¡± ¡°You don¡¯t say a word of this to Bonnie or anyone, or they¡¯re going to freak out,¡± she warned him. ¡°Or worse, they¡¯re going to do something stupid. We leave the whole ¡®Fiona might keel over and die in a year¡¯ death curse part out, right? Unless we find a solution that doesn¡¯t involve paying up.¡± ¡°That is a terrible idea! I couldn¡¯t keep that a secret forever, and we weren¡¯t the only people in the room!¡± he fumed. ¡°Then start brainstorming with me. How did that pasty-faced tyrant get on the throne?¡± she pressed and tried to shove the pending doom clock to the wayside for the moment. Greg relented, after seeing how much she wanted to change the subject. ¡°Lucy didn¡¯t want the crown, she¡¯s busy with foreign relations, Dave is a mage school dropout, and Mira is too young¨Cshe¡¯s so adorable, by the way,¡± Greg added dreamily. ¡°Edward is busy in the military. He¡¯s got a job he loves, but hates monarchy. So, guess who that leaves?¡± ¡°So, this dweeb with the bad haircut is the current ruler? Call Greybeard, I got his number on my arcane caller speed dial. I''d call Lucy, but she has made it clear she hates dealing with the court intrigues. Hells, she never mentioned Barry, either. Or it wasn¡¯t very noteworthy.¡± She turned right, past her favorite coffee shop where a blue-skinned lady with horns and a toothy smile waved to her. Her hair was light blue with brown streaks tied back in a light bun. She loved this cafe, with the dark varnish woodwork, cozy chairs, and the scents of caffeinated delights. ¡°Hi Darla, how are you?¡± she sang out. ¡°Keeping busy, Fiona! How¡¯s the adventuring life?¡± the barista sang out with that smoky voice of hers. Fiona was reminded that she had the voice of a speakeasy lounge singer. ¡°Oh, wait till you hear this story!¡± she declared with a rising fist of triumph. ¡°It started with me bullying a dragon! Now I owe money!¡± ¡°Just go lay more dragons!¡± Darla said with a grin. Fiona gave her a nervous smile. ¡°I think you mean ¡®slay¡¯ more dragons, dear.¡± ¡°Oh no, I had it right the first time.¡± That sassy chick with lips to die for made a slight kissy face, and Fiona suddenly wondered if she''d been beating up too many potential dates. ¡°Anyway, want a cup of coffee? I just finished a batch, with elfberry notes! It¡¯s so smooth!¡± ¡°Fresh java, hell yes! I could use caffeine after a morning like this!¡± She grabbed her coin pouch, but Darla waved her hand. ¡°C¡¯mon honey, I pay like everyone else!¡± ¡°It¡¯s on the house, on account of your victory! Greg, you want one?¡± she asked while waving a steaming hot mug of delightful morning fuel. ¡°Oh, thank you,¡± Greg nodded politely, and took the cup before they all sat down at a table. Darla occasionally attending to customers¨Cusing her whip-like tail. She had skills, that one. With the impromptu stop, Fiona went over the details with Greg, and Darla listened in. She wrinkled her expression and clicked her painted nails against the table. ¡°Wow. That is a bad deal, Fiona. You sure know how to land in strange situations, don¡¯t you?¡± ¡°Yep. Ever since I got here, life has been anything but mundane,¡± she sighed. ¡°Look, Greg, the dragon screwed us. He had no gold, no liquid assets. Auctioning could take a long time. Why can¡¯t I just go monster-slaying? It¡¯s my profession! I made a ton of money.¡± ¡°That¡¯s your class? Monster slayer?¡± he asked, wrinkling his brow. ¡°Career,¡± she corrected. ¡°I suppose the title of ¡®Beating monsters into the next fashion trend¡¯ is a little long-winded.¡±This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon. ¡°But it¡¯s your class,¡± he repeated. ¡°You keep using that word. Class, career, potato, po-tah-toh,¡± she added with a huff. He looked like he had something else to say, but she put up a finger and he fell silent. This wasn¡¯t the first time she¡¯d heard that brought up¨Cit must be a cultural thing in Fiefdala. ¡°Can¡¯t I just do that, hunt monsters, find treasure, get money that way?¡± ¡°You took a big chunk out of the monster problem, Fiona,¡± Greg said with a few scribbles on his notepad. ¡°You put other monster hunters¨Cand yourself¨Cout of work within the immediate kingdom limits. Now, the outskirts? Different story. But you¡¯ll never possibly make enough money, pay your living expenses, and pay off this debt. You need to treat this like your life depended on it.¡± It was a less than subtle hint she didn¡¯t appreciate. She tapped a gauntlet on the table impatiently. ¡°Great. There goes my plan for selling monster parts to shady mages. Which still leaves selling the loot as the option of last resort.¡± ¡°Fiona, what you¡¯ve done is a service! Now I don¡¯t have to worry about slime monsters being all lewd, every time I go to the communal bathhouse,¡± Darla said with a flick of her tail, and a raised eyebrow. ¡°Okay, I¡¯m not going there, dear. Your life, your rules.¡± Fiona tapped the coffee mug rhythmically before taking a sip¨Cit was delicious, not too hot, and those elfberry notes were just the right balance of sweet and tart. ¡°You need to expand Darla, this is fantastic!¡± ¡°Eh, that plan is in the works. I kind of like having one cozy, profitable place.¡± Darla leaned back, while draping her tail on the back of her chair. ¡°What about pawning the stuff off?¡± ¡°Can¡¯t. The shops around here are all cutthroat, and the tax rate is¡­¡± Greg scoured through his notes, and frowned, ¡°quite high. Most of them will not have sufficient cash on hand to make purchases at this volume. Even for a seasoned merchant, this would be tough to pull off." ¡°I wasn¡¯t kidding when I said I¡¯d rather die again than do retail twice,¡± Fiona grumbled. ¡°Now I might not have a choice.¡± ¡°I understand retail is¡­difficult, but you seemed very sure of your words at the palace,¡± Greg pointed out. Darla leaned in, too. ¡°Look, if there¡¯s something I don¡¯t know¡ªand I think I know what it is, based on your behavior and words¡ªthen you can tell us in confidence.¡± Great. Now I have to explain this one to them. She pushed all the other negative thoughts aside and looked right at him. ¡°So, I might have left out a detail or two on how I got to Fiefdala. And after six months here, hell with it. I¡¯m not from here.¡± ¡°You were¡­summoned?¡± he asked. As if he knew from the beginning. ¡°No, Greg, I was hit by a truck. It¡¯s like if you made a love child of a golem and a horse carriage,¡± she explained. ¡°I woke up, buck naked in a cornfield, with these,¡± she added as she tapped her pointed ears, and allowed herself a contented smile. ¡°And, sexy long legs. I was so short in my last life!¡± ¡°And the strength of a berserker,¡± Darla commented as she made a low whistling sound before grinning. ¡°What a tasty import you are. You never told me this!¡± ¡°Why have you never mentioned this?¡± Greg asked quietly. ¡°Fiona, summons are¡­well, not exceedingly rare, but not common, either. You could have¡ª" She cut him off. It was better if she didn¡¯t give a second thought to what happened before. ¡°Look, Greg, going down memory lane isn¡¯t fun for me. I thought no one would believe me if I told them I came from another world. So, I just did my best to blend in,¡± she shrugged. ¡°I had my suspicions. And if I do, so do others. Summons tend to attract¡­attention.¡± He wrinkled his nose. ¡°Now, we need a plan to deal with this crisis.¡± ¡°Oh, I have a plan. This blonde dweeb has made an enemy of me, and he¡¯s a dum-dum if he thinks he can just stick this on me, without me fighting back! He is my dragon, and I will slay him in the field of finances!¡± ¡°Let¡¯s stick to figurative slaying, please,¡± Greg said with a scrunched face. ¡°You get fixated sometimes. Take a sip of coffee, think of your options.¡± ¡°I have like, one that will work,¡± she groaned. ¡°I was good at business, but that doesn¡¯t mean I loved it! It was long hours, and boring stuff. Or restocking, taking inventory, or late shift.¡± She smoothed her hair and adjusted it behind her long ears. "That said, everyone loved that store. The old grannies, the young artists, the families that used to make it an event, to hang out there. Maybe I should have another go at it. I mean it''s my only choice. For now." "Fondness makes the heart go yonder," Darla teased. The thought did resonate with her. ¡°Alright, it''s settled. I will sell this stuff, figure out a way to drop the tax to zero, and give a great big Fiona kissy face at Barry," she declared with a flashy smile. ¡°Hang on. Have you run a business successfully, Fiona?¡± Greg inquired. ¡°Yeah, I did.¡± She didn''t dare mention that she struggled with it. Endlessly. But she did make it work for most of its run. ¡°But, I¡¯ll need help. I can''t do this one on my own, Greg¨C¡± ¡°I''ll help.¡± He didn''t wait for her to finish her sentence, and she stared at him. ¡°Really?¡± ¡°I question your personal decisions and eccentricities at times. But you are competent at what you do. Adventuring is not for the weak-willed, or those lacking tactical awareness,¡± he conceded. ¡°And¡­¡± And because you don¡¯t want me to keel over and die, assuming that twerp wasn¡¯t lying. It was the unspoken words that resonated loudest with her, She gave him a hug that caused him to wheeze. Gregs were not supposed to make that kind of noise, he should go see a healer mage for that. ¡°Thank you, you are the best!¡± she squealed in delight. He continued to make that wheezing sound, until she ended the enduring hugs. ¡°I may still live to regret this. But watching Barry do this to you, is infuriating. So, I will help,¡± he responded, and adjusted his tie. "Awesome, a team of two! Alright, to business then! Greg, I need to start planning. I also need to like, keep on living. How much do I have on hand?¡± ¡°Fifty-one thousand, one hundred gold.¡± He didn¡¯t even look at his notes. ¡°Your expenditures are about two thousand gold a month. Which is, even for this end of town, extravagant,¡± he added with a dreaded voice. ¡°We¡¯re going to have to fix that.¡± ¡°But I made money! I looted every two-bit temple, grotto, monster den, or weirdly misguided cult in a hundred-kilometer radius! Ya know, that last one was pretty easy. I just told them the end of days was canceled,¡± she pushed back. ¡°I was like Indra Janes! I recovered precious artifacts, put them in museums, and made bank!¡± ¡°Except, there are only so many misguided cultists, temples, and forgotten ruins in the world, Fiona,¡± Greg pointed out--ever the logistician. ¡°You need a steady, reliable income. And a budget cut.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t spend a lot!¡± she protested. ¡°A girl needs things! Like coffee! A girl¡¯s night out with her besties! And snacks!¡± ¡°You ran up a bar tab before your departure last month to deal with the dragon lord, to the tune of three hundred gold,¡± he stated dryly, again with his notebook closed. She blinked, and tried to remember how it got so high. ¡°W-well, it was Jackie''s first adventure success! And we were having fun, and I said, ¡®First round on me!¡¯ and then it was¡­oh.¡± She slumped and glanced at Greg, who had that stern look again. Like he was trying to mimic a fancy statue of some famous old dude. ¡°Okay, fair. I might have to tighten the belt. I¡¯m not cutting snacks, though.¡± ¡°What else are you cutting?¡± ¡°Fine! Shoes, cozy clothes, and things I don¡¯t really need!¡± She felt like she was being called out a little bit. ¡°You need to sell the apartment, and get something lower maintenance¨C¡± ¡°Greg, I got that apartment for a steal!¡± she countered forcefully. ¡°I¡¯m not giving it up, I¡¯ll just have to budget for it. I¡¯d be paying twice as much for something half as nice, and you know it. Having Granny as a landlord, the woman is a saint! Worst case, I¡¯ll get a roommate.¡± ¡°Progress,¡± he said with a quick jotting of notes. ¡°Fiona, candidly speaking, do you think you can sell all this stuff, to raise the gold you need? This is a vast volume.¡± ¡°I could sell water to a water elemental,¡± she declared proudly, and thought to the storage vault filled with the dragon¡¯s loot. ¡°But some of that stuff might take a while to move, no question about it. So, we¡¯ll start with the small stuff. It''s not beyond hope, the dragon lord did have some things that would be easy to sell.¡± ¡°Just be mindful to bank gold. We need to make sure we have a plan in case this audit doesn''t go our way,¡± Greg cautioned before he jotted down some numbers. ¡°Additionally, any business will have start-up costs and one-time fees.¡± ¡°Let''s just hope this ballsy move of mine pays off,¡± she proposed as the coffee kicked in, and Darla leaned in attentively. ¡°I know for a fact that Barry¡¯s cheating, on account of knowing the tax law if he was a half-competent government shill. I just need to thumb my nose at him with tax write-offs! I kept receipts¨CI think.¡± ¡°I hope you have all of them?¡± He asked with a raised eyebrow. Fiona remembered leaving the receipts for the recent purchases somewhere, she just couldn¡¯t remember where. Her current armor was still cozy though. She wasn¡¯t selling it. ¡°Somewhere at home, I think. I kept the papers with Bonnie, because she told me my filing system is abysmal. She¡¯s probably still at the house, I had her keep an eye out for Tucker for me.¡± She rose from her seat after finishing her coffee and gave a hug to Darla¨Cand got a hug from her tail, too. ¡°Thanks for the drink, sweetie. I¡¯m not disappearing off the face of the world just yet!¡± ¡°Anytime, Fiona. Have fun!¡± she called out as the two departed up the street, with Fiona feeling a tad more upbeat. People rubbing impossible goals in her face was just one thing she was used to, and something she managed to overcome, every single time. This Swiftheart was not going to be deterred so easily by some number cruncher in a cushy chair. ¡°Fiona, one question for you. What happened, before you came to this world?¡± Greg asked. For the first time, she didn¡¯t want to answer. She gave him a sidelong look and slumped. ¡°Greg, let this one go for a bit. That life is gone.¡± It was telling that he fell silent, and his notebook quietly slid back into his pocket while his mood turned somber. ¡°I know a thing or two about what it¡¯s like, to have stuff you don¡¯t like to think about,¡± he said with a tone inflected with great thought to his words. ¡°Well, let''s get back to your apartment. I¡¯m sure that furball of joy can help bring some spring back to your step.¡± Vol. 1, Ch. 3: Fionas Homecoming Fiona looked up at the two-story apartment of bright red brick and black-painted window frames, and took a deep breath of floral-scented air. She was home. This cozy, small series of apartments sitting on the edge of the park in the nicer part of town, with a few large maple-like trees with teases of gold and orange on the leaves now, was her small but place she could call her own. Small potted flowers lined the walkway to the front door, with the flowers seemingly shifting colors as she walked by, from blue to royal purposes. ¡°What a day. I¡¯m beat, Greg. You?¡± ¡°I¡¯m quite done with travelling and uncouth placeholder kings, yes,¡± he replied casually, and sniffed the air gently. ¡°Granny¡¯s been busy with the decor. I also think her husband made brisket, seasoned well, too. I do love a good brisket with mashed tubers.¡± ¡°You¡¯re a regular meat and potatoes guy, aren¡¯t you?¡± Fiona said with a smile. He shrugged lightly. ¡°I do have my comforts, yes.¡± The lock clicked without resistance, and Fiona pushed the chestnut-colored door open to her apartment, a building of wooden trusses, a few accent paintings of landscapes, and bright lit halls. She was greeted by a pair of ears peeking over the counter of the office window, and she let out a cooing sound. ¡°Bonnie, I¡¯m back!¡± That pair of ears turned into a pair of blue eyes, bright white and orange fur, and Bonnie, her part-time mage and full-time friend. She was a lean and bouncy kitsune that stood almost as tall as her, and she let out a squeal of delight as Fiona gave her a loving hug. She spent more than a second nuzzling at that silky soft fur. ¡°Fiona, goodness, I thought you weren¡¯t supposed to be back for a few days! What, was the party lacking to your tastes over at the palace?¡± Bonnie teased. ¡°Oh my, you¡¯re still in your armor, let¡¯s get that off, and get cozy! I see that my freshener runes are still working, and with a high charge left!¡± ¡°Yeah, it was great to not smell like¡­you know, smelly monster carapace, swamps, or the greasy, slimy scent emanating off His Highness,¡± she said as Bonnie snapped her claws a couple of times. ¡°Oh! Forgot this one doesn¡¯t work by simple telekinetics, I need the wand.¡± Bonnie held up her silver-clad enchanting wand, with a blue crystal embedded in the tip. The armor buckles and snaps all came off effortlessly, and the metal pieces all hovered in the air. With a twist of her wrist, Bonnie guided the levitating pieces toward the armor stand in a nearby walk-in closet. With a quick flourish, Bonnie set the armor pieces snugly onto a wooden mannequin. Armor was a statement on fashion, not just practicality to Fiona. ¡°Ah, thanks, Bonnie! I feel a little sweaty, but nothing a little freshening couldn¡¯t fix!¡± Fiona declared with a deep sound of relief, now adorned in her soft doeskin tunic, stretchy leggings, and the light layer of padding she wore underneath the armor to keep blunt blows from ruining her day. She tossed her gauntlets and greaves onto a shelf in the closet. ¡°How was housesitting?¡± ¡°Almost too quiet, I just did my rune work in the mechanical shop that Granny¡¯s husband has downstairs. Personally, I¡¯d have preferred to be in the field giving Douglas a walloping, but I heard you had that handled,¡± Bonnie replied, sounding content. ¡°Yep. Doug was¡­kind of a pushover,¡± Fiona admitted. ¡°He did the crying bit, too, after I beat him senseless. He said he was framed¡ªlike dude, your kobolds drove people off their land! Dragons must think people are stupid.¡± ¡°Hey now, it wasn¡¯t that long ago that Douglas was a part of the Kingdom,¡± Bonnie corrected, but her teeth were on edge. ¡°Even dragons are people, too. They¡¯re just a little¡­bigger.¡± Fiona unbelted the rest of her gear, including her grappling hook, and set it on the shelves. She glanced around, to take inventory. A few other armor sets were stored there¨Cone that was ruby red metal with glowing blue runes. Adjacent to it was a bluish-colored scale set that almost looked like fish scales. The last one was a plain green tunic with mail mesh with a funky lengthy green cap sitting on the head of the mannequin. A broad sword with a blue grip, and a yellow gem in the center was stashed on a rack on the wall¨Cthat one was still a favorite. At least they were practical. Fiona let out a sound of delight, now free of all the cumbrance. ¡°Bonnie, your enchantment work is top notch, that armor didn¡¯t have a single spot of rust or corrosion!¡± ¡°Aw, thanks! Anyway, welcome back, you two!¡± Bonnie said cheerily, before her eyes lit up at Greg. ¡°What about you, was the field trip worth it?¡± ¡°Doing paperwork for the guild and Fiona? Ah, it¡¯s just routine stuff Bonnie. Where¡¯s Tucker, by the way?¡± Greg asked, glancing around the quiet apartment. ¡°Oh, the kitty is out on a walk with Granny. I swear that hellcat only behaves for her and Fiona! He tried to use my tail as a chew toy!¡± Bonnie complained. She smoothed the wrinkles in her flowing skirt with light gold embroidery. ¡°Fiona, tell me details! I heard you gave a mighty beating to Douglas the Red!¡± ¡°Oh, you want to hear the story?¡± Fiona grinned. ¡°I¡¯ll give you the short version right now. I left him crying in a swamp, and he signed over the terms of surrender,¡± she said proudly while puffing her chest. ¡°He was kind of a pushover! And beating up those big-eyed little kobolds? I kinda felt bad about it, almost! But when we got home¡­yeah, there was a snag.¡± ¡°What kind?¡± Bonnie tilted an ear in curiosity. ¡°Greybeard Junior¡ªor Barry, his son that no one seems to mention much, is in charge. Rikkard said nothing except to a few people. As soon as we walked in, Barry stuck me with a tax bill for all the loot sitting in storage! And a death curse.¡± She was hoping she could slip that one by Bonnie by treating it casually, but Bonnie¡¯s eyes went wide. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, say that again?¡± ¡°Uh, I might have missed a teeny, tiny portion of the contract on the task of taking care of Doug. Yeah, I have a year to pay off a massive tax debt due to some obscure wealth redistribution law, in cash, or I could¡­you know, die. I mean I could also get hit by an automaton in between then and now, too, but it¡¯s no big deal¡ª¡± ¡°No big deal!?¡± Bonnie shouted, her tail looking like a bottle brush, her muzzle movement exaggerated. ¡°Are you serious, Fiona?! You could die! How can he do this?!¡± ¡°Fine print, and old laws no ones have used in two hundred years,¡± Greg grunted. ¡°We should keep this on the down low.¡± Bonnie eyed Greg, teeth gritted and pointing a claw at him. ¡°Oh no. I¡¯m burning down that palace where that jackass is sitting¡ª¡± ¡°He used a mark, Bonnie!¡± Greg countered. ¡°One that cannot be easily broken. We need to keep our wits about us. This is not one you can force his hand on. Rough count, we can get rid of the dragon hoard and raise enough cash. But it will take time.¡± "Bonnie, he didn''t just stiff me, he stiffed the whole guild!" Fiona interjected, letting out just a little bit of fury and frustration. "But Greg here is a good voice of reason. I can¡¯t beat all my problems in the face, unlike monsters. Hammer time always works on monsters,¡± she suggested with an oozing smile. "Attacking a king is generally frowned upon, Fiona. You did right by not giving in to your urges," Greg offered as a small concession. "But not mine," Bonnie uttered with her teeth gritted, and a dazzle of blue light dancing in her hand. "He is so dead!" "Regicide is not the solution, Bonnie," Greg cautioned. Bonnie''s muzzle curled into an evil smile. "Well, how about a few hexes that might change his mind. That moneymaker face of his looks ripe for ruining. Or maybe a case of warts¡­ you know, on his¡ª" "Okay, okay, yes, we get the idea,¡± Fiona interjected rapidly. ¡°We need to figure this one out with brains. Much as I hate saying that, brawn and cuteness only solve so many problems.¡± ¡°You seem way too chill with this.¡±This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings. "I¡¯m not!" Fiona declared, punching her fist into her open hand. Bonnie''s ears turned up just a little bit. ¡°I am very good at zeroing tax bills. And we have a year. It¡¯s totally doable, and we¡¯re not out of options. Bonnie, I¡¯ve faced deadly monsters and deadlier traps. I know you¡¯re worried about me, but I think I¡¯m going to be okay. Please, for my sake, don¡¯t treat this like I¡¯m already doomed, okay?¡± Bonnie shook her head. ¡°This is not okay. This is so outrageous, it defies logic.¡± ¡°And we need to take care of it. This conversation doesn¡¯t leave the three of us, okay? Well, the premature death curse part. Everything else is fine,¡± she added hastily. ¡°Okay, we will talk later about this one. Now, can we please move back to a normal conversation? Did I get any messages? Anything important happen while I was gone?¡± Bonnie smoothed her fur, and let out a hissing exhale through her muzzle. ¡°I wish I had your bravery, Fiona. I really do. But if that¡¯s what you want, I can do that. Now, I filtered through some messages that were dropped off here. A few are suitors from¡­sheesh, Bar¡¯nathi? Do the elves have mail couriers on the plains?¡± She wrinkled her muzzle at that. ¡°Also, a Stonelord from the Karave mountains left a similar note. I don''t really see. you dating a dwarven, though. ¡°Suitors? What century is this? I go beat up a couple of monsters, men are fawning over me and they don¡¯t even know me! Burn those ones. Anything else?¡± Fiona asked. ¡°There were a few bills, I paid those from your bank, nothing too big there. Oh, and a letter here from Jake.¡± ¡°Jake?¡± Fiona gasped. She¡¯d met up with him briefly when she got back into town, but he¡¯d been super busy taking care of the post-battle actions. ¡°What¡¯d he say?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t know, didn¡¯t read it. I figured that one might be a little¡­private,¡± Bonnie said with a foxy grin. Fiona was feeling a little rosy faced, too. More than her hair. ¡°Ooh, someone has a crush?¡± Bonnie asked with sharp eyes and an even sharper smile. ¡°Oh, now you wanna get nosy, you lovable vixen?¡± Fiona responded with feigned annoyance, and Bonnie laughed in that high-pitched cackle that she¡¯d come to know her by. ¡°Jake got me in the guild when I was a nobody. He taught me a lot. Dateable, yes. Me, dating him? I dunno.¡± ¡°Just dateable, you say. He¡¯s the envy of the town! Even Lucy, first in line to the throne, was turned down by him. I think he¡¯s very picky. Anyway, I have his, and a few other odds and ends on the desk,¡± Bonnie replied, gesturing to a small stack of papers on the table, before looking at Greg. ¡°Hey, are you busy this afternoon? I need to go over some paperwork with you, too. I wanted to get a lease on the mage shop I was planning on opening. I had some ideas!¡± Fiona nodded. "Yeah, why don''t you guys head out for a bit? I need time to destress, and figure out some plans. Could we meet up this evening over at McFly¡¯s place? Oh right, money--" "Take a small victory lap, I¡¯ll take care of this one Greg assured her. ¡°I think one dinner out is reasonable.¡± "Alright. But, I can''t spend money willy nilly until we work past this,¡± Fiona proposed, and Greg nodded confidently. The sound of a rattling bell rang through the air, the sound of something panting, and a loud call of a cat came from the hallway. Greg¡¯s eyes went wide and he glanced at the door. ¡°Oh no.¡± A deep, female voice called up the stairs. ¡°Fiona, I heard you were home!¡± Her voice was followed by the sound of multiple legs bounding up the stairs and a primal yowl. Greg broke out into a run, and tried to dart for the balcony doorway. Fiona would have suggested the stairs heading out. Flights out of balconies were not pleasant. Before he could get more than a few feet, a bundle of black and blue fur, blue eyes, and massive paws skidded past the doorway and pounced on Greg¡¯s back with a crackle and a flash of blue light. The massive beast the size of a large dog teleported from the door frame to his current resting position, pinning Greg to the floor Greg grappled with the massive feline beast, trying to ward off the sandpaper tongue and adoring eyes of her pet phase cat, Tucker. Fiona giggled, that furball of joy loved it when Greg was around. ¡°Ow! Fiona, get this menace off me!¡± he pleaded, even as that sandpaper tongue grated along his neck and face. ¡°Tucker, stop it! I¡¯m gonna get abrasion burns from you, c¡¯mon!¡± ¡°Someone missed him,¡± Bonnie giggled while holding her belly, trying not to laugh. Fiona joined in as Greg gave up and sprawled out onto the floor, with that beast now curling up on his back and continuing to lick him affectionately. ¡°Fiona, you should intervene, before Tucker figures out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Gregory roll.¡± Fiona took the initiative and scratched the neck of the black and blue striped feline, who let out a happy purr and kneaded his claws into Greg¡¯s back. ¡°Tucker, you walked right by mommy, I need cuddles!¡± The cat, however, let out a soft meow and continued to use Greg like a pillow. ¡°This is not helping, you red-haired elven fiend,¡± Gregory groaned, and Tucker let out a yowl of mild protest. ¡°You do this to no one else, cat.¡± ¡°Tucker, stop using him for a napping spot! I like Greg enough to not wish for him to serve as your cushion!¡± Fiona scolded. She pulled the sleek cat off Greg, with an errant spark of energy trailing off her fingers. She was used to it, and Tucker rubbed against her arm and chest, nuzzling affectionately. ¡°Aw, I missed you too, Tucker. Mommy¡¯s home, and for a while this time around!¡± ¡°Oh, is poor Greg serving as a floor mat again?¡± The woman from before rounded the doorway, Fiona glanced at the bleached blonde hair and brown eyes of Gemma Locke, her landlord and occasional lap holder of Tucker, and smiled warmly. The crows feet at the corners of her eyes could not dim her expression. ¡°Hi Granny, thanks for keeping an eye on Tucker! I pulverized Douglas the Red, took his stuff, and made it home early. I have some post-adventuring paperwork to fill out, and there were a few snags along the way.¡± ¡°Fiona dear, only you could nonchalantly talk about beating up a vile beast threatening the kingdom, like you were talking about a job,¡± Gemma said with a pleased look, surveilling the apartment. ¡°Hmm. This is cozier than I remember. I love the decor, it feels like you¡¯ve finally made this a home, and not just a place to crash for the night.¡± ¡°I took your advice, it needed sprucing up. Ow, Tucker, no nipping,¡± she protested as her cat nibbled on her finger when she stroked his head. The cat let out a snicker and bounced over to the couch, where he took up a hefty portion of the seating space. Fiona straightened and brushed a few errant hairs off her clothing. ¡°So, anything new from you? The flowers out front look fantastic!¡± ¡°Yes, I thought the ember flowers and the moon tulips would look great next to each other, and bring some color to the brickwork. Anyway, I must be off, Bonnie already gave me the deposit for the month. I must say, I¡¯m surprised you don¡¯t have a roommate!¡± ¡°Eh, I might eventually,¡± she said in a soft deflection. It would save on some living costs, and she knew a few people who might be interested in having a place with her. She just saved the Kingdom like it was a regular day job. ¡°Anyway, I¡¯ll catch up with you later, Granny!¡± ¡°Looking forward to it, dear. Bonnie, try to keep her out of trouble? She seems to find¨Cand fight¨Ca lot of it,¡± Gemma said with a smile, and the kitsune nodded politely. ¡°Of course, Mrs. Locke. We¡¯ll see you around!¡± she called out as Gemma closed the door gently, and footsteps disappeared to the third floor of the apartment set. ¡°Alright Fiona, I guess we¡¯ll head out too, Tucker might think we¡¯re going to steal all the attention.¡± The cat yawned from the couch, and lowered his head close to the cushion, licking its lips before closing his eyes for an instant nap. ¡°Let¡¯s meet at six?¡± Greg proposed while brushing off the loose cat fur. ¡°Tucker, you¡¯re a demon, I need to clean up again.¡± Fiona swore she saw a slight smirk on the cat¡¯s face before he closed his eyes and curled up. Once everyone had departed, she finished ungearing, and tossing on some cozy clothes, a hoodie and leggings. As for the scepter of probable evil, she tossed it into a secure safe in the back of the closet, and once again heard the scratchy whispers from it. I can make you fly! And give you sleek, green scales! You just need to want it! It pleaded. ¡°Stupid magical artifacts. As soon as I find a wizard who won¡¯t be tempted by evil things, I¡¯m melting you down into a paperweight,¡± she growled before slamming the safe closed. ¡°Don¡¯t suppose you cure death curses, do you?¡± No, I can¡¯t. Hey, there¡¯s no nightlight in here, I¡¯m scared! she heard in a muffled cry. She let out a soft sigh. ¡°Tucker, I¡¯ll level with you. Mages and magic have a flair for being too dramatic,¡± she called out, before flopping down on the couch. Tucker instantly transplanting on her lap¨Cas if he could even fit, since he was far too big. She took in the tan brickwork, wooden truss roof, and the small decorations of the apartment It was home. Far more than the places she¡¯d scraped and scratched every coin she had together to keep from being homeless, in the early days. She used a bit of telekinesis¨Ca little trick she¡¯d learned from Bonnie¨Cto grab the small stack of papers and glanced through them. Jake¡¯s letter was far less scandalous than Bonnie had suggested, with a quick note of congratulations on her success in fighting the dragon lord¡¯s armies, and the minimal losses involved. They wanted her for a proper private party on the weekend, too. It feels good to be wanted by others. It wasn¡¯t a feeling that she realized she¡¯d needed it, until after she got to Cepalune. Tucker put a restraining paw on her leggings and looked at her with half-lidded eyes before yawning. This cat did not want her to get up, and she stroked the feline¡¯s fur before reading through the rest of the papers. That elemental-powered jacuzzi might be tempting, but it was a splurge she couldn¡¯t do now, and she pouted her lip. Splurging was going to have to wait, and she felt that itch of getting things. Nope. Don¡¯t do it, Fiona. Focus on solving this problem first. Because, you know, my spending urges may indeed kill me. After a few moments, she nudged Tucker to examine the closet, circled the armor stands, past the flirty attire, and found something that screamed a little more professional. A flowing tan jacket, black slacks, a dark vest, and an emerald-colored tie. She never understood why people said girls didn¡¯t need to wear a tie, but she smiled when she saw the outfit she¡¯d bought on a whim at a thrift store, she knew she needed it. She felt the fabric with her fingers¨Csoft and cozy, but still formal-looking. She hardened her expression and creased her lithe frame as she thought of it as her new armor. I can win on more than one battlefield, she thought as she set it aside for the morning. In the meantime, she glanced over the more breezy, and revealing attire for the evening, and chose a blouse, skirt, and leggings that suited her. But you know what? It¡¯s time to have some fun, first. Vol. 1, Ch. 4: Fiona The Dragon (S)layer One week earlier¡­ Fiona glanced at the assembled team hiding in a small rocky pathway near the entrance to Doug¡¯s lair¡ªa carved-out cavern that stood on a rocky island in the center of the swampy Renslas fens where they were located, south of Fiefdala. Everyone geared up and was ready for the push into Douglas Fierkraag¡¯s lair. ¡°You guys know the plan. Break down the front door, slag the refineries, and if you can help it, see to it the kobolds have a chance to surrender. These guys have been pushovers,¡± she called out. Nick, their current saboteur expert with his black feathers and blue eyes, nodded enthusiastically. ¡°You got it, Fiona. We¡¯ll make sure that any future industry is wrecked. I can¡¯t wait to leave this swamp behind.¡± ¡°Same,¡± her leather armor-clad companion Cita called out, tying back her long dark hair. ¡°Now, remind me, why am I grabbing all the stuff?¡± ¡°Because it¡¯s treasure, and we don¡¯t want Doug to have any ill-gotten gains!¡± Fiona explained with a sigh. ¡°Look, the guy stole land that didn¡¯t belong to him, displaced three villages, and made a lot of people¡¯s lives miserable. It¡¯s fair game. You¡¯re securing everything that isn¡¯t bolted down in those magical storage bags.¡± ¡°Living up to my name, I guess,¡± Cita shrugged. ¡°This feels like a chore, though.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not, though! Looting from greedy dragons is societal justice! We¡¯re doing the world a favor!¡± Fiona suggested with a wink. ¡°I mean c¡¯mon, there¡¯s no way he acquired all his stuff through legit means.¡± ¡°Ugh. That feels so dirty. It all gets indexed,¡± Cita pushed back. ¡°Alright, alright, fine. Now let¡¯s go do this!¡± Everyone took their positions and advanced on the rocky lair of Douglas. Fiona knew that if Douglas went down, all his subordinates would surrender readily, and limit the damage they might unleash. She almost felt bad about beating them up, because their fighting was awful, unorganized, even. Like they weren¡¯t pouring their hearts into it. It painted a different picture from the fliers and the contract she¡¯d signed a month earlier to take up this task, dealing with Douglas¡ªtaking him dead or alive, for the crime of land theft and creating a refugee problem in southern Fiefdala. She didn¡¯t know what his deal was, other than he had previously been doing business with the Kingdom, and had been a bother to almost no one until kobolds started invading the surrounding towns. That was ending today. The advance was swift and without resistance, as they charged across the rocky terrain, the stench of the bog ever-present. Fiona spotted some kobolds without weapons, attending to harvesting peat moss like it was a normal business day. The armored kobolds that tried to bite and claw her at the lair entryway were a different matter, and she sent them sailing with her Bahn hammer. ¡°You ever wonder how they don¡¯t break bones when you smack them with it?¡± Nick asked, putting a wad of alchemical paste on the steel-lined door, and attaching a vial of a volatile compound embedded in the middle. She shrugged and regarded the fearsome weapon. ¡°I dunno! It comes with two modes. ¡®Harm¡¯ and ¡®Humiliate¡¯. I keep it on the default setting, since the result is the same.¡± She glanced at her mud-streaked armor, the gold gleaming dimly in the late morning sun. ¡°I am gonna need a hell of a spa treatment after we get out of this swamp, Nick.¡± ¡°Put me down for that, too!¡± He offered with a cawing laughter and then fitted a wire around the vial before motioning for them to step behind cover. ¡°Remember, once Douglas has surrendered, make sure he screams it out loudly enough so his guys get this hint, yeah?¡± ¡°Operation ¡®dragon tears¡¯ is in effect!¡± she beamed and clapped her gauntlets together. ¡°I think I can take him by myself.¡± ¡°He¡¯s a dragon, Fiona. You don¡¯t just solo dragons,¡± he cautioned. ¡°I have a good feeling on this! I¡¯ve beaten every monster that¡¯s tried to gnaw on my face, so far! There have been quite a few.¡± She grabbed an alchemical grenade, one for blinding the fearsome beast, and a few potions to up her fire resistance. It wouldn¡¯t make her fireproof, but it should be enough to keep her from getting roasted. ¡°You know what? I think you¡¯ve got this.¡± Nick signaled to the other adventurers, a mixture of rookies and well-prepared veterans, and triggered the detonator. Fiona rushed in as the smoke cleared from the demolition, hammer in hand and making short work of the armored kobolds holding their ears, looking disoriented from the deafening blast. They got bounced like scaly pinballs in the close confines of the lair. Everyone split off to secure the various side passages, with the smooth carved stone showing a dedication to magical engineering. It was pretty, almost, with marble floors, decorations of various Cepalunean cultures, and furnishings that spoke more of practicality than luxury. If she had been reborn in this world as a dragon, this is how she¡¯d decorate her lair. With coziness in mind. More panicking kobolds ran for the door, rather than fight her, and the adventurer¡¯s behind her gave them orders to surrender and drop their weapons. She heard most of them drop their gear on the floor, sobbing and crying. They knew the party was over, and Fiefdala had had enough of this incursion. Another heavily locked door to the center of the lair, just past a large living space complete with a hearth and a dragon-sized couch, awaited her. She heard muffled shouts. ¡°What¡¯s going on out there? Someone let me out!¡± What was strange about this door, was that the lock was on the outside. And the loud, male voice on the other side sounded deep and charismatic¡ªjust like a dragon should. ¡°C¡¯mon, let me out, damn it! I¡¯ve been stuck in this retreat for long enough, Karlin, just keep ignoring me like you always do!¡± Fiona took a measure of the door. Her hammer could easily bash this obstacle aside. She grinned and knocked on the door. ¡°What the¡ªwho knocks on a barricaded door?¡± someone called out on the other side. ¡°Knock knock.¡± Fiona grinned as she lined up the hammer, and tested a practice swing. ¡°No, you already knocked. Why are you now vocalizing your actions?¡± the voice asked, sounding confused. ¡°Knock, knock,¡± she repeated. ¡°Great. Make fun of me more, why don¡¯t you! Stripping my dignity wasn¡¯t enough?¡± she heard the muffled voice grumble. ¡°What game is this?!¡± ¡°No, you¡¯re supposed to answer, ¡®Who¡¯s there!¡¯ and then I answer!¡± Fiona called out. Sheesh. This culture in Cepalune is so strange sometimes. People talk about classes like careers, and no one does knock-knock jokes. ¡°Okay. Who¡¯s there?¡± ¡°Dragon.¡± She lined up the hammer, as she heard someone scoff. ¡°No, I¡¯m the dragon. You sound like a Folk.¡± ¡°No, the answer is supposed to be ¡®dragon who?¡¯ you dunce!¡± Fiona called out, her brow twitching. ¡°Okay, weirdo. Dragon who?¡± Fiona bashed the doorway with the hammer with all her might, and both halves of the door busted inward, knocking back the red-scaled dragon who had been standing at the door, and the doors fell onto his body. ¡°Why you dragon this out?!¡± she grinned as she measured up her foe, who had picked himself off the floor. He was three meters tall, with bright red scales, golden eyes, and crimson feathers adorning his wings, head, and face. The dragon stared at her. ¡°You pulverized my door, and and then you dare to mock me with puns?!¡± ¡°Douglas the Red?¡± she demanded, winding up her hammer. ¡°Yessss¡­that¡¯s me?¡± ¡°You know what, doesn¡¯t matter. You¡¯re the jerk who sent a kobold army to invade people¡¯s homes. The beatings commence until you surrender,¡± she added with a grin. He looked at her blankly. ¡°You think I sent an army of¡ªoh, are they all this dumb?¡± Her ears flattened against her head. ¡°Really? You¡¯re gonna be a smartass? You know what, talks¡¯ done.¡± Doug took a fighting stance and held out sharpened claws. ¡°I don¡¯t know what¡¯s going on, other than I¡¯ve been stuck in here, but I can assure you¡ª¡±Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site. Clang. Her hammer struck true and sent the dragon flying backward on impact, denting his chest scales. He careened backward, smashing through a chair in what looked to be a large living quarters, along with a dragon-sized bed, and various paintings decorating the stone walls. An ornate rug furnished the middle of the room, and he tumbled to a halt, looking at her in fury. ¡°Oh, is that how we¡¯re gonna do this?!¡± he snarled. ¡°He sent you to humiliate me further? Oh, I¡¯m right pissed now! I hope you¡¯ve notified your next-of-kin of your pending suicide by stupidity¡ª¡± Clang. She loved that sound the hammer made as it connected against his jaw, sending his head snapping backward, along with the rest of his massive body, and he turned the chair into kindling. He regarded the broken furniture with ire. ¡°That was priceless! It belonged to Ferdinand the First!¡± ¡°Well, yeah, I guess you can¡¯t put a price on wreckage,¡± she grinned. He snarled and a spark of fire emerged from his nostrils. ¡°Oh, that tears it!¡± He let out a blast of flame she dodged with incredible grace, dodging past the burning rug and mantling over the bedframe, while Doug grabbed a wand off a rack of tools that sat in a corner. He fired off the blast of water, barely missing her, and she leaped upward and got another smash into his chest, sending him flying backward. ¡°Surrender, big scary dragon! Or the beatings will continue!¡± she screamed out. Doug was not surrendering and tried to lash out with his claws, and a tail swipe she tumbled over with grace. A massive smash on his foot left him howling in pain, hopping up and down, and opened him to another attack, denting his scales, sending him smashing into the wall, and cracking stone. ¡°Say it, you overgrown lizard! Say you surrender!¡± she wound up and dodged past another puff of flame. ¡°I¡¯d rather die!¡± He clearly didn¡¯t want to, after several more rounds of turning the dragon into a pinball in his own home, and his snout was bleeding and a few teeth were cracked. He was prone on the ground, gazing at her with a panicked expression, and scrambling frantically. ¡°What is your major malfunction?! What did I do to deserve this?!¡± ¡°Like you don¡¯t know?! I guess stealing people¡¯s land is so routine for you, that you didn¡¯t even think what you did was wrong!¡± she snarled. ¡°Surrender and give me all your stuff! Or I can turn you into my next armor set!¡± Doug finally broke down and sobbed and tapped out as she stood on top of his scaly back, and steamy tears rolled down his face. ¡°Okay, fine, fine! I yield! I just never want to see you again, you crazy elf chick!¡± ¡°Pleasure doing business with you!¡± she beamed, just as the rest of the adventurers rushed in, surveying the damage. ¡°It¡¯s handled, guys! He gave up!¡± Nick let out a bird whistle. ¡°Fiona, the one-woman dragon layer.¡± ¡°I think you mean ¡®slayer¡¯, and he¡¯s not dead,¡± she added, giving him a pat on his head. Doug let out a wailing sob and made a soft wave with his hand. ¡°Now Doug, we got some paperwork to do. Also, some demolition, so you don¡¯t do this again.¡± ¡°Fine, whatever, just go away! I¡¯ll sign the papers!¡± And that, was the fastest anyone had ever beaten a dragon, in her mind.
¡°No way! That guy folded that easily?!¡± Bonnie exclaimed, and leaned in. It was evening now, and Gregory, Bonnie, and Fiona were seated at a private table at McFly¡¯s diner, which had the best food on this side of the city. The place was bustling, even for a weeknight. Commoners and nobles alike dined here, and the warm, red-painted walls and bright white floors of the diner gave a sense of something modern. Chestnut-colored wooden tables and comfy booth seats were plentiful, and arcane wisp lights illuminated the eatery in a low golden ambiance. Fiona had come across the place early after her arrival in Fiefdala as a cheap place to eat with hearty food. The owner was a stern-faced, barrel-chested, blue scaled and muscular lizardman named Jarl, who always cracked a smile when she walked in the door. He smiled for no one else except his wife Laura, who worked in the back. The first thing he¡¯d done was offer them appetizers for free, but Fiona smiled and said they had to play it fair. She couldn¡¯t help but notice her portion of loaded tubers was a bit bigger than the others, though. Bonnie was dressed in a low-cut dress that matched her orange fur, her hair was tied back with a scrunchie, looking as cute as ever. Greg was there in a casual long-sleeved tunic and slacks, sipping on a spritz drink that the air elemental at the counter made. She¡¯d had one of those drinks before, and it reminded her of root beer, but with a bit more bitter after-flavor. Greg gave her a look of disdain when she stole his drink for a sip. ¡°Fiona, it¡¯s like you never stop eating. Or stealing my food,¡± he stated flatly. She smiled at him and leaned in. ¡°It tastes better if it¡¯s stolen, Greg. You¡¯ll learn eventually. So yeah, that¡¯s how it happened! Those kobolds were just, oh my goodness, adorable. Like little lizard plushies! I mean yeah, they were trying to kill me or set me on fire, but I was like, nah, these guys just need a good beating! So I went bam, wham, shazam!¡± Fiona pounded the table for emphasis, grinning from ear to pointy ear, and a fry dislodged from Greg¡¯s hand when the table shook. He looked unhappily at the sauce staining his hand. ¡°And Douglas just gave up like that?¡± Greg asked in disbelief. ¡°Seriously, a dragon was begging for forgiveness?¡± Bonnie said with a shake of her head, and leaned in even further. ¡°Yep. Then he had the nerve to ask me for help to go on some grand quest to clear his name! The guy must have thought I was dumb or something like I didn¡¯t just smash him into the landscape while barely breaking a sweat!¡± she boasted. ¡°Dearie, I think you have a mean streak,¡± Bonnie said while giggling. ¡°Nonsense! I held back a bit! I got that morphic weapon as a gift from saving the Duke of Bahn two months ago, on a little side gig I did. How could I resist? I got my Bahn hammer!¡± she said while leaning back and looking proud. Bonnie was taking a sip from her glass and sputtered while trying to laugh at the same time, and barely even noticed her fur was dripping wet. ¡°How do you even carry that thing? It¡¯s comically huge, Fiona, you must be like pure wired muscle!¡± ¡°Dearie, you¡¯ve seen me, I¡¯m not that buff,¡± Fiona said proudly. Bonnie twirled her fur lightly while wearing a contented smile, and Greg raised an eyebrow of curiosity. ¡°Elves have hyper-dense muscles or something! Anyway, that was it. He signed the papers of surrender, his kobolds had to march further south, and now there¡¯s a peacekeeping division of Greybeard¡¯s regular soldiers there. Problem solved!¡± ¡°Fiona, the terror of dragons. You might be better served with laying with them, rather than trying to slay them,¡± Greg quipped. She glared at him, and one ear twitched. ¡°I don¡¯t mind dating outside my own species, but my last boyfriend was eaten by a dragon!¡± ¡°Billy¡¯s not dead,¡± Greg countered. ¡°The dragon didn¡¯t eat him. Who told you that one?¡± ¡°That was Felix who told me that,¡± Fiona said, confused. ¡°You¡¯re telling me Billy is not dragon food?¡± ¡°Yep,¡± Greg sighed. ¡°What a dummy,¡± Fiona said with a wavy hand. ¡°He didn¡¯t even give me a proper break-up message? Man, he¡¯s dead to me.¡± ¡°I think he¡¯s dating that dragon,¡± Bonnie interjected. ¡°Nope, he¡¯s dead to me, I don¡¯t care if he¡¯s dating a banshee,¡± Fiona stated with anger, her ears tucked back against her skull. The conversation was interrupted briefly as dinner was brought out, by Jarl, with a toothy lizard grin. ¡°Darling, it¡¯s been a spell, I saw you come in, how¡¯ve you been?¡± he asked warmly. ¡°It¡¯s been a bit of a day, and we needed good food to warm our souls!¡± she answered with a warm smile. ¡°Oh my gosh, that noodle bowl looks better than ever, Jarl.¡± ¡°Eh. Just a little practice with the missus and the staff,¡± he replied. Her mouth watered at that noodle bowl with all the toppings just off to the side¨Cher favorite! She wondered how many other people from Earth were here, and didn¡¯t think to reinvent a few classics. Jarl rubbed at his feather crest and glanced around the table. ¡°Gregory, tell me you¡¯re not letting this pointy-eared heart melter get into too much trouble, yeah? I¡¯m a part dragon! I don¡¯t want a thumping; I just want good business!¡± he said with a hearty laugh. ¡°I¡¯m trying, Jarl. But Miss Swiftheart here seems to find trouble like a magnet finds north,¡± he added shrewdly. She kicked his shin gently under the table and pouted her lips. ¡°Ow. Be nice.¡± ¡°Me, be nice? It¡¯s in my name! Except for evil, sneaky exes!¡± she stated and folded her arms across her chest. Jarl laughed harder and clapped a clawed hand on Greg¡¯s shoulder. ¡°You know what, forget what I said, she¡¯s alright. I have to remind myself that Miss Swiftheart here is as strong as she is a cutie, and a presence all herself!¡± ¡°Aw, you¡¯re such a big softy, Jarl!¡± she declared with a kissy face. The scales on his face went from blue to purple, and he glanced at the kitchen entrance. ¡°Anyway, I¡¯ll catch up with you to tell you all about my exploits, but I got a time-sensitive problem. ¡°Oh, you know I¡¯ll be here. The missus also says hi from the kitchen, too! She missed your fiery-haired mane wandering in every morning,¡± he replied before pointing a thumb to the swinging doors. ¡°Drop by and give her a smile, yeah?¡± ¡°Oh, of course, I will!¡± Jarl bowed slightly before heading back to the other tables, writing orders and holding his pen with his tail, then walked back into the kitchen. ¡°So, what is the plan?¡± Bonnie pressed. ¡°Greg filled me on some of it¡­what did you do to piss Barry off that he would dump this on you?¡± ¡°I have no idea. I just opened up my soul to the taxman with an audit. I need to sell this unfathomable loot at a high enough profit to get rid of this debt, if I can¡¯t find a way to zero it,¡± she groaned. Then inspiration struck her as she recalled something Bonnie said earlier. ¡°Bonnie, you were planning on setting up shop in that old textile mill, right?¡± ¡°I was. Greg and I were looking at locales, and that was one of them. But I think it¡¯s way too big for a shop of mine. Why?¡± ¡°I need retail space. I need it cheap, I need it fast, and I need it in a prime location to get all the high-end clientele and I think I might have some strategies to keep building revenue. I think we could build a team.¡± ¡°You want to share the space?¡± Bonnie asked, ears perked up at a canted angle. ¡°You don¡¯t even need to ask, it¡¯s too much space for me! But¡­with a giant warehouse of dragon loot to sell¡­it might just work!¡± ¡°Aw thank you, Bonnie! I also need a name that doesn¡¯t suck. Do you know Magoo¡¯s emporium? That place at the south end of town? They keep selling weird dismembered paw things that count off fingers when people make wishes. It¡¯s kinda creepy, now that I think about it. There is never anyone in there.¡± ¡°Hang on. You want to go¡­into business with me?¡± Bonnie asked nervously. Fiona placed a hand over hers firmly and smiled. ¡°Bonnie, seriously, you¡¯re my friend, and you won¡¯t lose that status if I go broke. Or, you know, ghostly,¡± Fiona said proudly, and the kitsune practically wilted at the table. ¡°You too, Greg. But smile more, you need to work on those facial muscles! You need to look like a dragon, when it comes to danger time!¡± ¡°My face hurts when I stretch it,¡± he muttered. She proceeded to pinch his lips into a forced smile. ¡°Nonsense! Pain goes away with practice! Now, let¡¯s finish up, and go start my master plan! Tucker¡¯s gonna start clawing my couch if I¡¯m out too late.¡± With the meal finished, they departed for the evening, and Fiona looked upward at the night sky, after waving goodbye to Bonnie and Greg. She took in that smell of a lingering summer sweetness. She hoped that she could get a message through to old Greybeard, she had done him a huge favor. She just kept getting the messenger that was attending to him. In the meantime, she had a game plan to put together. She had weapons, armor and equipment for the old job. This new one required different tools and means to battle. She entered her apartment with little fanfare, closed the lock, and was greeted by her loving phase cat. Tucker playfully pounced on her as she tucked under the covers, wondering if she was making a mistake, going into business again. I should be in terror that someone put a timer on my life. I could have smashed Barry¡¯s face, and no one could have stopped me. I¡¯ve got strength here that I never had on Earth. Why didn¡¯t I? She stared at the ceiling, purring softly as he stretched his body along her side, kneading the comforter on top. She let out a soft sigh. She had her answer. Because that¡¯s not who I am. I only fight against monsters. I need to never forget what I learned on Earth. And I¡¯m not losing my friends. Never again. Never. Vol. 1, Ch. 5: Tax Evasion Fiona was less than amused the next day that Greg hadn¡¯t found any way to skirt around this immense financial pickle. Their appointment at the warehouse wasn¡¯t until later in the afternoon. She tapped on the floor with her boot, while humming. She was currently sitting in his tiny office that also had his apartment, just a few streets away from where she lived. Except, it wasn¡¯t in the nice part of town. The brickwork looked older and had fewer straight lines. She was pretty sure she could smell mildew somewhere. She could hear the mice scurrying in the walls, with her sensitive ears. Industrious mice, by the sound of it¨Cwere they renovating in there? Being reborn in a world with super sensitive ears when she had never had them before, had been intense. Tiny noises became big noises, and big noises became painful noises. But after a while, she was able to start tuning things out. Except for the mice. She shook her head after Greg had broken the news to her. ¡°So, the tax law is solid,¡± she reiterated. ¡°You know this was totally bogus. I¡¯ve done my due diligence.¡± ¡°I know, Fiona, I¡¯m sorry. He¡¯s got you good. This rule goes back a while, it''s just never been used, except for once. Dragon hoards are technically classed as historical finds, hence applicable taxes get heaped on. Even if liquid assets are lacking. I don¡¯t know why you can''t just dump it as a donation. I feel like this rule was a carve-out for someone who irritated Bertha the Second when it was signed.¡± Greg leaned back from his notes and folders, looking resigned. Greg wasn¡¯t as savvy as Bonnie with her arcanist technology and still used papers. But he was pretty good at it, and effortlessly slid between files, all carefully indexed and clipped to where he needed, and occasionally used his arcanist pad. It was like a lo-fi version of an electronic tablet¡ªexcept, powered by magic. Fiona let out a soft puff of air. ¡°It sounds like he has an axe to grind with me. I don''t even know why he hates me, because everyone loves me!¡± She says with a soft huff. ¡°Except Doug. He''s probably terrified of me.¡± ¡°Yes, smacking around a dragon with a magic hammer tends to have that effect,¡± he murmured while digging through his notes. He slid a paper over to her. ¡°But I think Barry''s treasurer has over-appraised the items. We have one bit of ammo against this.¡± ¡°How much?¡± ¡°He overshot by thirty percent, when I looked at comparable items. Or more. We can fight this on an audit,¡± Greg said with a faint smile. He loved his numbers, almost as much as she did. ¡°But, that¡¯s still reducing it by only twenty-three percent, to¡­one point two million, and thirty-one thousand gold. Rounding to the nearest thousand,¡± he added with a droll look on his face. ¡°It¡¯s still progress,¡± she argued, and glanced down at the tawny-colored dress jacket, dark vest, and that vivid green tie that matched her shining eyes. She couldn¡¯t help but feel proud of this one, it made her look professional¨Cand cute. Greg couldn¡¯t look away from it, and the ladies were barely accented while wearing this one, too! She tapped the sheet of paper and contemplated how to proceed. ¡°We need an appraiser of our own to go to bat for us.¡± ¡°And accredited,¡± Greg added. ¡°With King Barry as the current controller of the throne of Fiefdala, he can thumb his nose at the court and gum us up for weeks or months. But, it can be contested eventually. Even he can''t stop the law.¡± ¡°Not the dummy I took him for,¡± she muttered. ¡°Alright, what else?¡± ¡°Avoid uptown for several months. The fall and winter lineups are coming,¡± he replied dryly. ¡°I will murder you.¡± ¡°Fiona, I know it¡¯s hard to adjust from where you were before, but the scale of this problem is¡­massive,¡± he sighed. ¡°You have to have restraint. Or Barry will Barry¡ªuh, bury you. Quite literally.¡± Even the unintended pun couldn¡¯t make her laugh. ¡°You know what I think? I think this thing was a setup. A dragon with no gold, but lots of hard-to-move merchandise? And I¡¯m the one that got stuck with the bill.¡± Greg frowned, as he considered her theory. ¡°I do find it odd, now that you mention it. But it doesn¡¯t change the legal standing.¡± ¡°So, he gets unprecedented taxation on me, and half the heroes of Fiefdala, and no one can raise a claim?¡± she bristled. ¡°Did you find anyone else he gave the ¡®death or taxes¡¯ option to?¡± ¡°To my knowledge¡­it was just you. Given your right of first claim on the dragon hoard, having made the dragon surrender.¡± He let out a soft sigh. ¡°He would have done this to anyone who got the first claim, my guess is.¡± ¡°Better me than Jake. It would have devastated him,¡± Fiona murmured. ¡°Want my unofficial advice?¡± he asked while tossing his pen on his desk, and rubbing his temples gently. ¡°Find another kingdom that isn¡¯t going to yank your chain after this, Fiona. I wouldn¡¯t blame you for wanting to expatriate the hard-earned gains after we deal with this.¡± She leered at him, fists balled up. ¡°Oh, hell no, Greg! This man has thrown a gauntlet at my face, and I¡¯m coming back at him with a world-shattering sledgehammer!¡± ¡°He¡¯s the King, Fiona,¡± Greg pointed out with a sigh. ¡°You can¡¯t beat this problem in the face with a hammer.¡± ¡°I wasn¡¯t being literal,¡± she responded in a quieter tone, then pondered the thought for a moment. ¡°I mean, I could do that, I can just set the hammer to humiliate mode¨C¡± ¡°No, Fiona.¡± He rubbed the bridge of his nose and examined more papers while he continued to call out the terrible idea. ¡°While King Greybeard may be sympathetic to your plight, considering his frigid relationship with his son Barry, there''s this to consider. He upheld the law impartially, and the contract technically is enforceable. I just doubt that Greybeard would have ever done this wittingly. If the law is correct, you may be stuck with this. Unfair as it might appear.¡± "I''m still not leaving. I''m not caving to that creep. I have a home, I have a pet, I have friends here. He is not chasing me away from a place I love and people I care about, because I can¡¯t do that twice in two lifetimes," she stated defiantly. "You can''t put a price on that, Greg. That option is off the table forever. It¡¯s not going to happen." "I¡­do share in your impassioned attitude," he said softly, a few seconds later. "I wish others in similar circumstances had such tenacity." She sat down in the chair and glared at the unfriendly numbers. There had to be an out, there always was! ¡°What about business expenses? Can I claim those?¡±Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings. ¡°For some items, yes. I think we can reduce the bill by another hundred thousand.¡± ¡°Victory!¡± She could finally smile as she slowly chipped this away. ¡°Damage to my equipment. I went through a slew of items that were the worst for wear.¡± ¡°Done. Give me the repair bills.¡± She fished out every paper receipt she had, and he smiled. ¡°Bonnie came through. Glad she was keeping your paperwork.¡± ¡°New rule, don''t let me forget the paperwork. The last thing I need is to give the tax office anything to nail me on. How much of it applies?¡± she inquired. ¡°It''s fifty percent of bills, subtracted from your gross income. It helps to the tune of¡­¡± he furrowed his brow. ¡°Another thirty thousand? You''re rough with equipment.¡± ¡°Killing monsters and not getting killed gets expensive. That¡¯s the story of every adventurer,¡± she sighed. ¡°Jake had it right. We¡¯re only rich on paper, and only if we survive long enough. The early days were rough.¡± ¡°Jake does speak from wisdom,¡± Greg commented while furrowing his brow. ¡°I need to research this mark. I do know that Barry may have made a serious mistake. Using a power like that has immense drawbacks. Anything that powerful does.¡± ¡°Feels pretty one-sided to me,¡± she fumed. ¡°Not like you¡¯ve got a ticking time bomb over your head.¡± ¡°Fiona, I must ask¡­what do you know of the marks?¡± ¡°It¡¯s just another layer of magic, right?¡± She didn¡¯t sound hopeful. ¡°Fiona¡­you need to get up to speed. Marks carry power. They all do, to greater and lesser extents,¡± he cautioned. ¡°Now that I know you¡¯re not from Cepalune, I worry what that knowledge gap might cost you. By the way, you were correct in your initial outburst. No pawn shop in town has the capital to pay you face value for these items. Not all at once.¡± ¡°Welp, guess we¡¯re going to plan ¡®B¡¯ then, which is to beat him at his own game,¡± she declared. ¡°Barry¡¯s cheating. I know a cheater when I smell one, and I smell grease emanating from every pore of his body,¡± she uttered with conviction. ¡°I bet Barry was running some crooked scheme that went badly, knowing that guy. It¡¯s why the kingdom''s treasury is short. So, he has to cover it, before Daddy dearest gets back.¡± ¡°That¡¯s pure speculation, Fiona, you don¡¯t have proof of that. Accusing royalty of crimes, and backing them up, needs to have absolutely ironclad proof,¡± he cautioned. He tapped his pen, and tilted his head to the side. ¡°You know what, that is an odd thing that he said yesterday. If the treasury was short, why haven¡¯t we heard anything about it?¡± ¡°See, you do think he¡¯s scummy!¡± she exclaimed as she laid back in her chair, arms propping the back of her head. ¡°We just need to figure out how!¡± ¡°Yes, Fiona, we can, if we find proof of that. I wish you had brought back the dragon lord with you as a prisoner, so we could see where else he stashed gold. Dragons rarely put all their coins in one basket,¡± he added with a quick note on his papers. ¡°Other than those items, you also need to trim down your other expenses. I know McFly¡¯s is cheap, but I know your habits. You have a little bit of an impulse control problem.¡± ¡°No, I don¡¯t!¡± she protested and gave him a needling stare. ¡°Girls have their needs, Greg! And those needs must be fulfilled, like snacks! Those are must-haves! Or people get hit with large, heavy objects!¡± ¡°Yes, and what of those new boots you¡¯re wearing that I¡¯m assessing is probably a few hundred gold of expenditures?¡± he asked dryly, while propping up his head with his arm and elbow. She blinked in surprise. ¡°You noticed?¡± ¡°I do notice these things, Miss Swiftheart. Not because I''m paid to, either,¡± he added in a rather pointed statement. ¡°You must have some restraint for the time being, or you won¡¯t have enough money to make payments on the interim bills.¡± ¡°Hey, to be fair, I bought this weeks ago. Cute boots are a must! They¡¯re made of leather from a Grinorian mole! They¡¯re ugly as sin and a pest to crops, so when I get rid of them, it¡¯s doing the world a favor, and providing cute boots as a bonus!¡± she declared with a flourish. She then showed off the calf-length dark boots, with a small silver buckle. ¡°Plus, they¡¯re so cozy! I can run in them, and go kick people in the face, if it requires it!¡± ¡°Fiona, please, have some restraint,¡± he groaned, and gently thumped his forehead on the desk. He must be trying to scare away the scurrying mice in the walls, Fiona thought as she watched this strange spectacle. ¡°Yeah, luxury and coziness aren¡¯t going to be anything I¡¯ll be buying anytime soon, Greg. Anyway, we should go. Bonnie said she¡¯d meet us there at four o¡¯clock.¡± ¡°Yes, we should,¡± he concurred before sitting up and steepling his fingers in a subtle meditative pose. ¡°Please, let me remind you that this is not a guarantee and that this place may be beyond your means to afford, barring a loan.¡± ¡°Loans? Yeah, nah. I¡¯d like to avoid those if I can,¡± she stated hesitantly. ¡°You know what a payday loan is?¡± ¡°No, but based on your tone, I can guess it is not a good kind of sound lending policy.¡± ¡°It¡¯s like¡­when you¡¯re short on money, before your next gold deposit? And then there¡¯s this guy in a seedy office who promises to lend you money until that big fat stack of coins comes out, and they take a percentage?¡± she explained, while trying to sound calm. ¡°And when you do the math, the interest rate is like six hundred percent a year?¡± Greg blinked and rubbed his temples. ¡°Are we speaking from experience? Because, I don¡¯t like that idea at all. Working with underground elements sounds like a terrible plan. Please tell me you didn¡¯t take these out before.¡± ¡°Oh, you know, psssh¡­once. Maybe twice?¡± she proposed with a twirl of her hand. At least in this lifetime. Damn, that would be a total buzzkill if my debts followed me to the next life. Once again, Greg found a home for his forehead on his desk, along with a soft groan. ¡°I begin to see where some of your financial troubles started, Fiona.¡± ¡°Oh, don¡¯t be dense! My business ran fine! I just spent a liiiittle more than I could afford sometimes, in a personal capacity.¡± Fiona said with a grimace. Greg looked at her skeptically. "Fine, no more shoes, no more cozy clothes, and no jacuzzi. I am fighting all my urges on this, until I can get rid of this problem. Which we should. Real take, it¡¯s six months of work, at worst case. If Barry was banking on me dying before I paid him off, he made a big mistake.¡± "Good. That should help." Another line through his notebook. Fiona sighed. "Yeah, at least I''m taking this to heart now. Too bad I didn¡¯t learn that lesson before I died the first time.¡± ¡°That reminds me, we never finished that discussion,¡± he said while straightening up. ¡°Just an idea, summonings would have some kind of record by the mage responsible. Maybe you were pulled at the last second? I mean, would you even want to go¨C¡± ¡°Go back? Oh, hell no, Greg. I wouldn¡¯t go back even if there was an option.¡± The silence in the room couldn¡¯t even be broken by the mice nibbling on the wall, while Greg pondered a response. ¡°Fiona¡­you told me to let this one rest. Some summons have been able to return home, and¨C¡± ¡°Greg. Nothing is waiting for me back there, assuming I even could go back,¡± she stated in a deathly calm voice. ¡°Drop it.¡± Even now, she still had unanswered questions. And this conversation kept begging the question of how she got to Cepalune. She glanced down at herself, and her lithe, but deceptively strong form. It both was¡­and wasn¡¯t, like her old self. Damn, I just don¡¯t want to know, Greg. I don¡¯t want to know what it took to bring me here. I don¡¯t want to know if there was a cost to it. She continued after he took the hint. ¡°All I do know is that I¡¯m here now. So what if some weirdo from Florida in a bathrobe and a bad hat brought me here? I¡¯ve been having a blast! Minus that gold-hoarding, blonde-haired dweeb sitting in a chair too big to fit him!¡± ¡°Fiona, I worry you may have incurred a debt you can¡¯t afford to not pay off,¡± he said with dread. She was worried he was going to do that head-banging, mouse ward spell again, but he instead just looked at her warily¨Ceven concerned. ¡°Summonings are rare, require immense resources, and people don¡¯t get summoned for no reason. Who was there to summon you?¡± She blanked at that question. ¡°No one.¡± Greg¡¯s eyes went wide. ¡°What do you mean, no one was there when you arrived?¡± ¡°No one was there to greet me when I woke up, buck naked in a cornfield. No one cared who I was, when I signed up at the adventurer¡¯s guild, either. No one asked questions once I started stacking up monster hides,¡± she added with a roll of her shoulders. ¡°What, you think they¡¯re gonna make a transmigrational tax service next, in case I die before I pay off this bogus debt?¡± ¡°I wouldn¡¯t put it beyond King Barry, no. Alright, let¡¯s stop stalling, and find Bonnie. We need to really look into this one, later,¡± he said before getting up from his chair. She figured he was being too worrisome. She hadn¡¯t opted to come here and certainly didn¡¯t sign a deal with some dude with horns and a contract written in blood. Mom would never have taught her to do that. But now she had a nagging feeling that something strange was going on. Vol. 1, Ch. 6: Vulture Capitalism Fiona caught a whiff of fish scent, and glanced at the nearby harbor. Fiefdala sat on the coast of Galahein Lake, and as such, the lake was an excellent shipping lane to the various settlements strewn throughout the large valley. It emptied into a river further down south, all the way to the Cistera Sea, and up north, she could make out snow-capped mountains. Steam barges lit with magical lights bobbed in the slight chop of the wind coming from further along the valley, and little sailboats scurried about, with people milling about and enjoying the late afternoon spectacle. She¡¯d love to walk along the commercial walkway, seeing as it was bustling with activity at this late afternoon hour. But they had business to attend to, first. Bonnie waved to them with her cute mage-threaded vest, sleeved shirt, and leggings, with her poofy tail given ample room to roam. Her hat had tiny holes that allowed her ears to go through the brim, and screamed ¡®cute¡¯ to Fiona. ¡°Bonnie, you are a divinity of fashion, you know that?¡± Fiona gasped as she gave her a hug when they grouped up. Greg set the pace and was already talking to an older gentleman with short gray hair and glasses, their voices carrying in a low tone. ¡°Girl, it¡¯s just regular fashion for me,¡± Bonnie replied with a warm smile, and peered at the converted textile mill. The structure was wooden trusswork, light tan brick, and some occasional stone paneling. A rusty sign that read ¡®storage¡¯ swung in a light breeze, just out of grabbing range, and Fiona and Bonnie looked up at it. ¡°It needs a little work, but look at the size of this place!¡± Fiona declared, in awe at the scale. ¡°A coat of paint, a little dazzle, maybe some renovations to fix some stuff, but it¡¯s huge! How¡¯d you hear about this place?¡± ¡°My dad was going to give me some money to open a shop, and said my enchantment skills were out of this world. He always wanted me to succeed, and he said they could subdivide the space.¡± Bonnie let out a slight purring sound¨Cfoxes were weird, but Bonnie was cool to have as a friend. ¡°This location is great! I can¡¯t believe no one ever used this place!¡± ¡°I think it went bust a few months ago, they weren¡¯t making much money, and the issue with the dragon lord was the last straw,¡± Fiona said while peering around, looking for some kind of lemon or issue that could be a problem. The location was great, with a lot of foot traffic for sure, and the business attire of the populace indicated mid-range or high-end clientele were here. Either on their way to and from work, or due to the cozy local eateries, which Fiona had frequented quite a few times. A few couples were having a picnic in the shade of a large pair of autumn-tinged trees, laughing and looking joyous. Fiona examined the exchange between Greg and the older gentleman and returned, looking tense. The guy was balding, his nose was a tad red, and he had this skeevy look to him. Like a vulture, almost. Which was ironic, because she¡¯d seen the avians fluttering around nearby, and they didn¡¯t look quite so off-putting. ¡°So, Greg, when can we start putting ink to paper?¡± she asked with a smile. Greg, however, was not smiling. ¡°There¡¯s a problem. Someone decided that they wanted to buy up the whole place. So now this guy wants to start a bidding war. And given our current gold status, this may become problematic.¡± ¡°What? That¡¯s bogus, I called dibs. Dibs!¡± Fiona shouted out, and a few people stared at her, looking puzzled. ¡°Five gold says that he¡¯s saying that to make me settle on a less-than-ideal price.¡± ¡°Not exactly an unfounded assertion., Greg responded grimly ¡°If this isn¡¯t the place you¡¯re looking for, there¡¯s no issue. We can walk away, without a single copper spent.¡± She straightened her posture and tightened her snazzy green tie. ¡°Let¡¯s give it a look-over, first. Bonnie, think you can peer into the walls, and make sure there¡¯s nothing rotten or broken? This building is older compared to the ones surrounding it, the wood shows more weathering.¡± ¡°I can, yes. Good pointers,¡± Bonnie responded and reached into her satchel with her claws, and pulled out a small scope that glinted with blue light emanating from the eyepiece. ¡°Try not to look through it for too long, it causes eye strain.¡± They walked inside, and the sound of distant waves echoed in the cavernous mill. The rough-hewn wooden supports with metal cladding and bolts connecting the joints looked sturdy, if weathered. Fiona coughed on the dust that kicked up as they walked through the dark space, and a few arcane lights flickered on in proximity to them. It was a little messy, and she saw the remnants of an old encampment on the stone floor. But to her trained eye, this place was perfect. There was plentiful floor space, and an old, rustic feel that gave whispers of intrigue, something to catch the eyes from the outside. She could picture it now: A few coats of warm paint on the front facade, a little brick repair work, and a swinging sign made of bronze that read ¡®Fiona¡¯s Emporium¡¯ flapping in the breeze ever so gently. She rubbed her hands together as they surveyed the place, with a small echo of footsteps disappearing into the volume above. ¡°I mean, it needs work,¡± Greg offered quietly as he pointed to a rat-chewed arcane cable. Fiona had a different response, and she peered through the arcane device, and heard a wind-up of energy. In a second, the lens activated, and the world was awash in blues and purples, with warmer red notes next to the arcane wiring. She peered around, looking at the chewed console. But elsewhere, the wiring looked intact. ¡°Doesn¡¯t look like the wiring¡¯s bad. Man, that thing¡¯s a trip,¡± she added as she winced, and pulled the scope away. ¡°Bonnie, what are your thoughts?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not a super expert, but the structure looks good. One second.¡± Bonnie set her equipment down and tucked her hair behind her ears, before springing up along the support columns with her springy digitigrade legs in a display of natural acrobatics. She dug her claws into the structure and ascended with incredible grace, parkoured over a connecting strut, then sprung to a wooden rafter, and peered around. Fiona couldn¡¯t help but look at her nervously. ¡°You have magic, Bonnie! Why are you jumping around?¡± she called out above them, and she saw a pair of blue eyes peer down, with the silhouette of her ears perked up in the darkness.If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. ¡°Because I¡¯m stretching my legs, Fi!¡± she responded with a heartfelt laugh, craning her neck around. ¡°Okay, the structure looks good. I¡¯d have to take a look at the roof tiles, but this place is in great shape, there¡¯s some broken tiles that I saw from outside. Nothing we can¡¯t fix!¡± ¡°We can call an inspector, no need to overdo it,¡± Greg pushed back lightly, but even his doubts had melted as they observed the vixen slow her descent with a flurry of feathery wings that materialized on her back, for a few seconds. They poofed outwards like someone exploded a pillow as she landed, and Fiona tickled her nose at this irritation before they faded into motes of light. ¡°Show-off,¡± Fiona said with a coy smile, and Bonnie set her hands on her hips and grinned. ¡°Hey, Sigmauta Academy shows us how to do stuff, but they don¡¯t show you how to do pragmatic things. Luckily, transfiguration doesn¡¯t take too much energy, when you¡¯re only doing it for a few seconds. Now, about this place, I saw some things in here that¡¯ll give us an edge." Bonnie pointed upwards to a dimly lit strut. ¡°Some of the cladding on the joints needs a rework. We can drop the bid price that way. The wiring, too. I think there are a few cases for brickwork, it¡¯s very expensive to hire a contractor, but super cheap for us to do by hand. Have you ever done home construction, Fiona?¡± ¡°I swing a giant hammer, and the world is filled with nails looking for a home,¡± She asserted with an edgy smile. ¡°But yeah, I¡¯ve done a little repair work before. So what do you think Bonnie, you mind sharing a retail space? I have a title: ¡®Fiona and Friends Emporium¡¯. It has a nice ring to it.¡± ¡°Might still be a bit spacious with just the two of us, but sure!¡± she said proudly. ¡°Three,¡± Greg interjected. Both of them turned to look, and he smiled politely. ¡°While I do question some of Fiona¡¯s personal decisions, I do know that she had a penchant for applying herself, having observed her for this long. And Bonnie, I¡¯ve known you longer. I think we¡¯ve got this.¡± ¡°Actually, just how much loot did this dragon have, anyway?¡± Bonnie asked as she grabbed her gear, and they proceeded to the main door. ¡°A lot,¡± Greg responded with a grunt. ¡°But no gold. That still bothers me. Why would a plotter like the dragon lord just have no gold on hand? It makes no sense.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to give credit to a scheming dragon, but there was something a little off about the whole thing,¡± Fiona conceded. ¡°I mean the kobolds fought us, no question. Doug also was willing to put his dukes up. Why¡¯d he lock himself in his private retreat though, when I got there?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t give too much credit to him. I know dragons are a proud people, but that¡¯s not all of them,¡± Bonnie cautioned. ¡°Maybe he had bills to pay, like me,¡± Fiona grumbled. ¡°There¡¯s a twist of irony. He was raiding this kingdom to pay his taxes.¡± ¡°Fiona, I don¡¯t think you can tax a dragon,¡± Greg chuckled. ¡°Barry might, though.¡± ¡°I only wish he was dumb enough to try, that would have saved me a lot of trouble.¡± She glanced at the elder man in the suit waiting outside, and shook his hand eagerly. ¡°We¡¯ve given it a thought, we¡¯d like to start some paperwork on this place.¡± ¡°Splendid! We¡¯ve got a few applicants, and fortunately for you, I think their bids were woefully short of our expectations,¡± the man said with a smile. That too-polite smile. He was going to scam her, she knew it in the way he looked at her. It¡¯s like he didn¡¯t realize he was dealing with the hero of Fiefdala, who had the brains to back up the brawn. ¡°Now, Miss Swiftheart, between yourself and Miss Revere, we do expect a deposit to hold the place while we finalize the papers. If your deposit is adequate and we can agree on terms of the lease, we can have it ready in a day or two.¡± ¡°Bonnie, you in on this?¡± Fiona called out, and the vixen didn¡¯t even hesitate before nodding with a smile. ¡°I¡¯ve seen you at work, Fiona. You got that gleam in your eye, like you have a goal, and you know how to get to it,¡± she added with a toothy smirk. Greg nodded and held out two fingers. A subtle nod to¡­two thousand? He gave another signal, and she almost groaned out loud. Twenty thousand?! That was a massive stack of her reserves, but she also knew she had that kind of cash on hand. It paled to the debt owed, but if they moved this merchandise at cost, it would be peanuts compared to the potential payoffs. ¡°Alright, Mister Grimore, how much of a deposit are we talking about?¡± ¡°Oh, just a paltry sum of¡­say, forty thousand gold.¡± She narrowed her eyes at him. Scammy scammer, I knew you were going to do that! She took inventory of everything Greg and Bonnie had mentioned, plus her assessment, and smiled. ¡°Nah, too rich, and I¡¯ll tell you why. The building needs work, and some arcanist circuitry isn¡¯t up to code. I have to pay for that out of my pocket, and there¡¯s an infestation of rats chewing the cables, the tiling needs work by a licensed geomancer mage, and I could keep going. Some brickwork needs fixing, and my goodness, I think someone was sleeping in there. They left a mess,¡± she added, while the man squirmed. She loved it when they squirmed, like they figured she¡¯d pay the asking price without doing her homework. She always got her gold¡¯s worth, this life or the last. ¡°Well, ah, uh¡­I¡¯m sure some of those can be concessions, but what are you¨C¡± ¡°Seventeen-five, and not a single copper more,¡± she offered while standing tall. ¡°I know my values, Mister Grimore. I still have to pay for staging, and I know the monthly on the lease won''t be cheap for a place this size. It¡¯s prime real estate.¡± Bonnie made a silent fist pump in the air, and Greg smiled. But, the old guy wasn¡¯t going to take this lying down. ¡°Twenty-two thousand, and we have an accord.¡± She frowned, she could push for more, but Greg silently lowered his hand, just a little, out of the man¡¯s vision. She tightened her cheeks and narrowed her eyes. ¡°Twenty thousand, even. I¡¯ll go to the bank tomorrow and have it ready, in cash.¡± The man didn¡¯t look particularly happy, but glanced over his shoulder to examine the building, examining the papers with the silent number of what the place was truly worth. After a moment, he returned a hardened smile. ¡°Alright, Miss Swiftheart, you and your friend Miss Revere have a deal. We¡¯ll call this the deposit for the first and last month, plus clerical fees. Make sure that you have your licenses and registration ready by the time you open your center of commerce, yes?¡± ¡°Oh of course!¡± Thank you so much! Can I hug¨C¡± ¡°No, I don¡¯t desire a crushed rib cage,¡± Grimore sighed and upturned his nose at her look of delight. ¡°Please bring the payment to my office with a gold voucher, and make sure you have the capital to enact any repairs.¡± ¡°We¡¯ll ensure it¡¯s to code, we know some people that can help,¡± Greg stated while jotting on his arcanist pad. ¡°And, I believe one of us will need to be a merchant class?¡± ¡°Correct,¡± Grimore stated. ¡°Usually it¡¯s the leaseholder, but any designated signer can do it.¡± ¡°It¡¯ll take care of it,¡± Fiona replied. It must be just like applying for a license, which wasn¡¯t a big deal. Once they parted ways, she gave a high five to Bonnie and Greg, all of them elated that this place was good enough for their next steps. ¡°So, the hard part is, we still need to do a fixer-upper,¡± Bonnie sighed. ¡°Have you seen my work? I can do a job like this. Besides, I know a few guys in the guild who can help. I¡¯m sure if I tell them it¡¯s a chance to put egg on Barry¡¯s face, they¡¯ll come running!¡± Fiona declared as she clapped her hands together. ¡°Greg, make sure we get a guy to properly check the arcanist circuits. That was the one thing I worried about.¡± ¡°A licensed inspection is a few hundred gold, not a problem. Shall I meet you at the bank tomorrow?¡± he asked, and she nodded enthusiastically. ¡°Sure thing!¡± She hugged them before they departed together down the commerce walk, and she leaned on the railing, looking out at the setting sun. Even though this wasn¡¯t the long-term plan she anticipated, it was fun to get back into making something bigger than herself, and solving problems with number crunching. And if those failed, her weapon could do the crunching for her, she thought with a lopsided grin. Vol. 1, Ch. 7: Hall Street Wagers A day later, Fiona went along with Greg to the bank, where she knew that she was going to have to dig deep into the savings she had that she normally set aside for fun stuff. Nights in the town, treating hot guys¨Cor chicks, as might be the case¨Cand wish list items like the jacuzzi she wasn¡¯t getting any time soon. Today, she found herself in this stone abomination of a building, tapping her fingers impatiently on a mass-produced desk that looked like it came from a bargain bin store. And it was a desk that was already well-used. The banker, a tall avian female with white feathers, a dress blouse, and black slacks gazed at the papers with piercing blue eyes, and frowned as she pulled open a few folders. The rustling of crisp pages only served to irritate her. This place needs digital banking! Why haven¡¯t they gotten that here yet? Oh right, a faraway world where tech and magic overlap. ¡°Miss Swiftheart? Thank you for being patient, but I need to speak to my manager. According to this record, your account is on hold,¡± the secretary said with a tap of her clawed fingers on her desk. She didn¡¯t look thrilled about this either. And if she wasn¡¯t happy, the wood creaking with the force Fiona pressed her fingers into the desk edge was a bad sign for the world, too. Greg put a reassuring hand on her shoulder and reminded her that she should focus on not losing her cool. She let out a measured breath, and smoothed her frizzy hair behind her ears. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, why is my account on hold? I have a rather significant business purchase I need to make, and it¡¯s a time-sensitive matter.¡± ¡°I would not know. The manager would. Please excuse me.¡± the secretary got up with a click of clawed feet and vaulted up to the second floor with a flap of her massive black wings. The motion sent Fiona''s hair flying, and she had to fix it again. ¡°Barry is behind this,¡± Fiona snarled. ¡°Fiona, account holds can happen for a variety of reasons,¡± Greg assured her. ¡°It might be someone who tried to take your money, tried to impersonate you, or tried to cash a bad check, or even a clerical error. Please don¡¯t jump to conclusions.¡± ¡°I can smell the grease coming off of his hands on this one, Greg,¡± she said through gritted teeth. ¡°You think after what he did, he¡¯d stop being a scummy ruler willing to break all the rules?¡± ¡°Fiona, this might be bordering on paranoid¨C¡± he started to say, but there was a flutter of massive wings. Two avians descended to the floor in a delicate arrival on the polished dark marble. Fiona brushed away an iridescent black feather that landed in her hair. The banker was a slightly older bird with a faint gray feather mask on his face, along with piercing golden eyes, and adorned in a fancy white jacket and leggings. He reached out a clawed hand and winced when Fiona shook his hand with a crushing grip. ¡°Miss Swiftheart, my apologies for this mix-up. There appears to have been a mishap on the registry floor. Your money is safe and secure with us, and our relayed banks throughout the Unified Kingdoms,¡± he assured her with a light bow. ¡°This was a clerical error, nothing more. Someone had tried to transfer funds out of the kingdom, and they locked out the wrong account. We should be able to clear this matter soon.¡± ¡°Oh, that¡¯s wonderful to hear!¡± Fiona said with a measure of relief. ¡°How long before I can make a withdrawal?¡± ¡°Oh, not long. A few weeks.¡± Greg held a blank stare with the secretary, and Fiona¡¯s jaw opened and her eyes bulged at this inconvenient news. Smashing time was imminent now, and she wanted to give these thieving magpies a second chance¨Cwhich was ironic, because they almost did look like magpies. ¡°Mister¡­¡± she looked for a name tag on the manager, but none was present. ¡°Daveston,¡± he answered with a slight nod. She uncurled her fingers slowly. ¡°Mister Daveston, here¡¯s the situation. I have a tax problem. I need to sell my stuff. I need capital funds to open a retail space, along with my associate Bonnie. I need these funds today, because the window on prime real estate space is going to close. I doubt I¡¯ll get another opportunity for this real estate space if I don¡¯t get a down payment today.¡± The old bird shook his head. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Miss Swiftheart, I do apologize for the inconvenience. We can withdraw a small portion of the funds. The rules stipulate¡­umm¡­¡± he trailed off as he read through a small arcanist pad in his possession, before frowning. ¡°No more than five percent of the account.¡± ¡°What?!¡± she shrilled. ¡°I need way more than that, I need a deposit for a lease I''m taking out, plus a deposit for equipment and supplies for some renovation work, and other things. I can even give you an itemized breakdown.¡± She could handle this stuffy old bird, no problem! She just needed to find the root cause of this issue. This has all the hallmarks of that sleazy Barry. There is no way he¡¯s outwitting me on this. She just needed to outthink him. The bank manager held up his hands in a light defensive way. ¡°I am sorry, Miss Swiftheart, but the rules are clear. I understand your need for liquidity. Perhaps you could take out a loan? Given your standing and currently pooled gold, we could give you a credit line.¡± ¡°I already owe gold to the taxman my literal soul, owing it to Hall Street? No thanks,¡± she uttered with fervor. Credit cards had been the bane of her previous existence. When snack time could be all the time, or girl''s night out got out of hand, or she ordered stuff on Gammazon, she was way too careless with it. Damn it. Greg''s right, I do have a spending problem. ¡°Well, if that''s not an option for you, then I''m not sure what we can do for you,¡± Daveston interrupted her thought and held a withdrawn look on his face. Meanwhile, she was ruminating on ideas. What do I do when a bank won¡¯t give me my money? What would I do? Think, pop culture, what would I¨CThis content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. An idea came to mind. Greg knew it, because he shook his head nervously, like he had a muscle tic¨Cespecially when he saw the leering smile across her face. ¡°Fiona, whatever you¡¯re thinking, unthink it. It¡¯s a bad idea,¡± he whispered next to her ear. She flicked his face with her ear tip as she shook her hair back into position, while he was looking around for the exits. Again. Tucker wasn¡¯t even there this time! This was the best idea ever! Though, if this bluff didn¡¯t work, she was going to be digging into her couch for an unimaginable amount of loose coins. ¡°Mister Daveston, I''m the hero of Fiefdala. I risked my life to put a despotic dragon and his little commiserate kobold army along with it,¡± she said with a polite smile. ¡°I fronted money to help do the right thing, and help bring this kingdom back from the brink. Without my help, this kingdom would have probably been torched, and you would be roast chicken by now.¡± ¡°I do appreciate your efforts. Uh, truly, I do,¡± he stammered, but she smelled weakness. And she could hear it with her pointy, cute ears. ¡°Do you? I mean, you just told me I couldn''t take my money, which I''m legally allowed to take with a moment''s notice, up to an amount of 100,000 gold, per the kingdom¡¯s laws,¡± she said in a louder tone. She noted the casual interest from passersby, trying to do the same thing as her¨Ctheir regular, day to day bank stuff. Greg was still shaking his head ¡®No¡¯. But then, a lightbulb went off for him, and then he nodded his head silently out of the corner of her eye. Yes. ¡°Er, um¡­there are exceptions¨C¡± She smiled even more politely. Which for this bird, probably looked like the grin of a predator as deadly as her loveable cat at home. ¡°Mr. Daveston, let''s make this easy. I need thirty thousand of my currently deposited gold. And I intend to walk out with it today, because I have an appointment really soon,¡± she adds as Greg taps his watch in a subtle cue. ¡°Now, you''re a banker. You have to follow the rules. Yet, you are treating me like a criminal.¡± More heads pop up with interest, and the secretary is trying to cover for her boss, who doesn''t remember his own rules. ¡°Miss Swiftheart, please, you are making a scene. Can we take this to a private office, where we can hash this out?¡± the secretary suggested, with that nervous smile better suited for Greg. ¡°Oh no, miss secretary bird. I''m the one who gets the kicks here,¡± she added with a grin. Time to go for the kill. ¡°I want my money. You''re trying to keep me from taking my money. You know what that''s called? Bank theft.¡± It had gone awfully silent in the space around her, and people looked anxiously at the manager, who was now regretting enacting Raspberry¡¯s evil design. ¡°We were told the account, it was¨Cwell, there was a risk of currency leaving, untaxed¨C¡± ¡°By whom? Oh, anonymous sources? Betcha I could find out who, someone whose name rhymes with Gary, right? I suppose it could have just been by accident. When you hold a bank account, they must file paperwork like who authorized the hold and its reasons. Papers that I am legally mandated to see, on-demand.¡± she leaned in, and gave him an edged smile. ¡°The papers are uh¨C¡± ¡°Delayed? Oh, I don¡¯t want to wait for them. I want the proof you had due cause to hold my account or my withdrawal on this desk.¡± ¡°But we can¡¯t just¨C¡± ¡°Mister Daveston, I want to withdraw my money, immediately, to the tune of thirty thousand gold or gold tender. I want it by the time I finish this courtesy cup of coffee your secretary brought me.¡± Fiona lifted the mug gently off the desk and drew a deep sip. ¡°Or I can make a scene here that I don¡¯t think you want to be privy to. Because you know I¡¯m right. It could make your other clientele a little jumpy. A little scared, even. Know what they call that, when a bunch of people get scared, and pull all their money simultaneously?¡± She took another sip as that bird started sweating, and birds weren¡¯t supposed to sweat. ¡°A bank run. And if you don¡¯t have enough cash to sustain that withdrawal¨Cwhich you probably don¡¯t, because you¡¯re trying to breed gold with gold elsewhere with long-term investments¨Cthen you have a big problem.¡± She took another deep sip of coffee and smacked her lips. ¡°You know something, this is some tasty coffee. Gotta quench that thirst for caffeine.¡± ¡°You wouldn¡¯t!¡± he whispered, eagle eyes wide with fear. She took another sip and emphasized how much she was enjoying it, and that magpie with the suit was adjusting his tie like it was choking him now. ¡°If you¡¯re willing to treat the hero of Fiefdala like this, people will ask how they¡¯ll be treated.¡± She sipped the last dregs in the mug and licked her lips for emphasis. ¡°Well, time¡¯s up. Oh, hey everyone, guess what¨C¡± ¡°Alright! Miss Pence, please go down to the vault, and make sure that Miss Swiftheart accounts for every copper herself!¡± He shrilled with a panicked look and thrust a key to the secretary on a ring of other keys. Finally, this guy caved. ¡°Thanks a bunch, Mister Daveston, I love that customer service focus! Such a big emphasis on alacrity, it suits you!¡± she beamed, while Greg tried to keep his stern face. But a small smile cracked through. In the end, she counted out the cash and got her deposit. She sighed and realized that she still might have to raid the rest to come out of this intact, but for now, she¡¯d do what she could. She walked out with a not-insubstantial pile of gold, and Greg puzzled over how she could carry so much. She shrugged and said she just worked out every day. ¡°Were you really going to do it?¡± Greg asked as they left the bank to the afternoon sun starting to lower in the sky. Her lips turned downward as if he would believe she could do that. ¡°Nah. That would have hurt a lot of people, Greg. I made a bluff. Thankfully he caved, because if he didn¡¯t, I¡¯d be pawning off my favorite armor sets to fund this,¡± she said with a sigh. ¡°You know what this means, though. Raspberry is behind this. I might still have to pawn those off, too, or sell them in our future store. Not a moment I¡¯m proud of, but¡­¡± ¡°King Barry,¡± he corrected, though she also noted he rolled his eyes when he spoke that. ¡°I don¡¯t want to lend credit to your paranoia, Fiona. I think it was still a clerical error.¡± ¡°A clerical error, with their emphasis on the relayed banking network being the bell of the ball? No way. Barry is the head executive officer of the country. Every lawman dances to his tune, whether it¡¯s convenient for them or not.¡± He didn¡¯t refute the statement¨Coutright. ¡°Maybe you have other enemies?¡± ¡°How? Everyone loves me!¡± she countered. ¡°Well, maybe not that snooty noble who didn¡¯t like Tucker chewing on his barbeque in his fancy backyard, but Tucker was just hungry! I even offered to pay for it!¡± ¡°Your lack of enemies must be truly insufferable,¡± he uttered with a crease of a smile barely visible. ¡°Well, I mean, there¡¯s a beaten-up dragon out there, who knows I took his stuff, and am liquidating his assets.¡± She stopped for a second and pondered it. ¡°You think he¡¯d have the daring to come after me in my own backyard after I trounced him that badly?¡± Greg sighed contently. ¡°Fiona, I¡¯m sure the dragon lord must be still licking his wounds. Anyone who goes up against you twice is either foolish or has a death wish.¡± Vol. 1, Ch. 8: A Little Fixer-Upper Getting the place leased, Fiona realized, was just the start. With their work cut out for them, she knew she would have to get this place up to par in record time and pull in every favor she could. She looked at her list of contacts she had dialed in on her arcane relay, and sprawled out on her bed. Tucker was curled up at her feet, kneading the blankets softly. She did have the Adventurer¡¯s Guild to call on. She had more than a few favors she could call in, and this was super easy compared to exploring forgotten temples, monster slaying, or escorting nobility. She ended up calling Jake and felt a little anxious. He was the one guy she felt anxious about talking to, but he also knew a lot of friends who worked the various other guilds. She thought to hang up, but held firm. No time for fluttery butterflies now! ¡°Hey, Fi! You got my message, how are you?¡± The deep male voice called out over the arcane relay. Tucker yawned loudly as if on cue, and Jake laughed. ¡°I see that little furball is getting the first word in, eh?¡± ¡°Hi Jake, I''m good, I''ve just been busy since I got back!¡± She twirled her hair around her finger loosely and sat propped up on her pillow. She didn¡¯t dare mention what Barry had done, because if anyone would literally storm the castle over this, it would be him. ¡°Man, I¡¯m sorry I didn''t catch up to you earlier, I''ve been on a swivel! You heard that Barry took over Greybeard''s throne for a bit? Well, he''s sort of the reason I''ve been so busy--¡± ¡°Fiona. I heard earlier today after someone at the palace told me.¡± That tense moment instantly put her on alert. ¡°I¡¯m going to be fine, Jake¡ª¡± ¡°You will be, he won¡¯t. This is the last straw.¡± ¡°Jake, don¡¯t. In as few words as possible, do not do something stupid. Greg told me that this magic is¡­pretty specific on satisfying the demand,¡± she spoke rapidly. ¡°Do not storm the castle. I¡¯m handling this.¡± ¡°Fi, I talked to Greg and Bonnie after I called them about what happened. Why didn¡¯t you come to us?¡± She let out a frustrated groan. ¡°Because I wasn¡¯t worried! Okay, maybe a little, but he gave me a task I¡¯m good at! I ran a business before!¡± ¡°Fiona, I know you feel like you can do anything, but I am going to get an arcane expert, and I am going to reach Greybeard. Do you know why I loved Greybeard? Because he was level-headed. I''ve known Barry since he was a kid, he''s a snooty, scheming viper who loves money more than he does looking after people. I can''t believe he''s on the throne while Greybeard takes some well-deserved time off, and he''s not that close to retirement,¡± Jake offered with a grumble. ¡°Look, Jake, someone was gonna get stiffed on this. I may have added fuel to the fire when I told that jackoff to come and take it,¡± she added with a roll of her eyes. ¡°If Greg says the letter of the law is on his side, and I didn¡¯t fully read the contract, it¡¯s on me. Stupid pencil pushers. I will never skim over a contract again¡ªI mean, seriously, ¡®beat up a dragon, get money¡¯ should not be complicated!¡± ¡°Fi. We¡¯re going to help you in whatever way we can. We might not have a treasure trove of gold, but we have connections, and people we know,¡± he said in an assuring tone. ¡°I¡¯m going to chew out Greybeard senior on this, too.¡± ¡°I tried to reach him already! We couldn''t get through, it was like, the first thing I tried! I sent a courier on express, because Greybeard owed me a favor. I still can''t believe he put this black sheep on the throne!¡± She threw herself onto the pillow, frumpled slightly. ¡°Still though, it sounds like this carveout law exists, so I''m opening a shop to sell the loot! Auctioning would take too long, plus the auction house gets a massive cut. Many kobolds were humiliated in the pursuit of this loot,¡± she growled. Jake laughed heartily at this. ¡°Oh, Fiona, don''t change, please. I mean, what do you need? Don¡¯t say you¡¯ve got this. I mean, you could, you know, die. So, what do you need?¡± Well, I guess taking help when I can get it wouldn¡¯t kill me. ¡°Okay Jake, I need repairmen, I need decorators, and I need renovation experts. I have plans for what it¡¯ll look like, but, it might be pricey. I¡¯ll be dumping my savings into the rent and various stuff. We¡¯re starting tomorrow, as early as Tucker will let me get out of bed.¡± ¡°Mow.¡± Tucker voiced his opposition to this plan loudly, and Jake laughed softly. ¡°We¡¯ll be there, hammers and nails ready! And we still owe you a celebration for that massive effort this weekend!¡± He offered with confidence. She felt her cheeks blush, and she put a hand to her chest. ¡°Aw, thank you, Jake! Me, Bonnie, and Greg are starting work tomorrow morning. I already have stuff ready to ship to the place, so we¡¯ll be ready.¡± She couldn''t believe it, they were going to go out of her way for this? She had the bestest friends! ¡°Awesome, we¡¯ll be there, Fi! I''ll call a couple of guys tonight, and we''ll take care of it. I''ll get it on right now, we¡¯ll see you soon! And give Tucker a hug for me!¡± ¡°Aw, I will! Bye, Jake!¡± She sang as she hung up the arcane relay, and gave Tucker a loving hug. He grumbled in protest at this abrupt motion. ¡°Oh, don''t you be a goober! You like Jake, he''s the best! And he''s hot! I''d take him home with me, I''d add to my collection of lovable fluffy friends!¡±This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. Tucker merely yawned before flopping down on her legs and flicking his tail lazily. ¡°Oh, you¡¯d get jealous, wouldn¡¯t you?¡± ¡°Mraooow.¡±
Fiona wiped the sweat off her brow, and she didn''t sweat often! This was actual work, having to repair bricks on the external facade. It wasn¡¯t just lifting the bricks heavier than her weapon. It wasn¡¯t a breezy autumn day like it was supposed to be, either. The sun beat down overhead without a single cloud of relief nearby. It was a hot early autumn day, and she was glad for that fishy breeze coming off the lake to cool her off, while she hefted up the next set of bricks. A few bags of unmixed mortar sat nearby, ready to be mixed. Bonnie took the easier route and levitated up a small pallet of bricks while posing on a scaffolding. ¡°Man girl, have you never heard of magic? This would be a lot easier if you applied yourself!¡± ¡°Nah, I¡¯ve got no time for magic, and you taught me some basic stuff! I can lift a book from across the room! I can close the toilet from the bed if I forget to close it before nighttime! I can extinguish dinner if I leave the stove on for too long!¡± She nodded proudly. ¡°These are the most important building blocks of magic I need!¡± Bonnie laughed at Fiona¡¯s assertion, while setting down the bricks gently on the platform. She¡¯s gotten a pair of coveralls with a small sleeve opening for her tail. She had broken out in a sweat, too. She occasionally grabbed a towel to wipe the sweat away, but with fur, it must be much harder. ¡°You know, I¡¯m glad a death curse sitting over your head doesn¡¯t dim your spirits much.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve dealt with worse,¡± she replied distantly. ¡°I think he¡¯s relying on the scariness of it to send me crawling back to him, begging for help. ¡°Well, okay, I guess knowing some basics is fine. I saw Jake arrive with a few friends from the builder¡¯s guild, they¡¯re getting to work on the arcane wiring; they took the supplies you pre-purchased and they¡¯re already replacing stuff.¡± Fiona lit up like a beacon at the mention of Jake, that hottie who was one of the top leaders of the Adventurer¡¯s Guild. ¡°You know, I wouldn¡¯t be half the person I was if Jake hadn¡¯t taken me into the guild.¡± She remembered he¡¯d asked her class, and she responded that she was a professional monster slayer. Which was, technically, true. ¡°Alright, let''s fix these broken bricks, mortar them up, then we''ll go see Jake!¡± ¡°Careful dear, I might steal him, if you''re too slow,¡± Bonnie said with a sly smile, even as she used a tiny water sprite to mix the mortar, and chiseled out a broken brick. ¡°I might not be foxy enough for him, though! His first love is his guildmates, like they''re some big, weird found family!¡± ¡°Oh, is it a race?¡± Fiona grinned while prying up another damaged brick, and put in a new one seamlessly. ¡°You may be the cutest thing Bonnie, but you have nothing on my zany!¡± ¡°Girl, no one can touch you in that category! Let¡¯s finish this section and go mingle for a bit.¡± With Bonnie''s suggestion, they got to work as a team, with Fiona doing the heavy lifting and prying of damaged brickwork and molding. Bonnie magicked everything into position, sticking her tongue out as she focused on getting everything perfectly aligned, before she smoothed out the mortar to even rows. As a team, they got the job done quickly. Fiona rubbed an errant bit of mortar from her cheek and smiled. ¡°What color do you want the brickwork to be? White, like the original color?¡± ¡°Hmm. Something bold. Green, maybe?¡± Bonnie pursed her muzzle and took a step back¨Cand Fiona grabbed her before she walked off the scaffolding. ¡°Whoops.¡± ¡°Head in a cloud, dear,¡± Fiona teased, and tried to think of the big picture. ¡°Green is nice. It''ll stand out a bit. But, what about a mural?¡± ¡°We could hire an artist. Unless you''re hiding a painter''s skill there somewhere.¡± Bonnie grabbed her arcane pad and started sketching something for a minute, while Fiona got to work on the last bricks. ¡°Ya know, I like the idea of something artsy, grand, a little eccentric! It''ll draw eyes. Like you,¡± she continued with a chuckle. Fiona pretended to pout for a second, but grinned after she couldn''t hold it in any longer. ¡°Well, if we¡¯re lucky, a lot of this stuff will go into the hands of fellow adventurers. Or art enthusiasts. I can¡¯t believe Doug had so many paintings perfectly preserved. He really paid attention to them¡ªand some strangely tasteful nudes. Must be a dragon thing.¡± Fiona slapped the last brick in place and glanced at her watch; they''d been at this for longer than ten minutes. ¡°Let''s go say hi to Jake!¡± Fiona rappelled down the rope and landed gracefully, while Bonnie did the same and landed with her springy legs from a higher height. Fiona looked admiringly at that vixen with the disheveled fur--she didn''t shy away from putting in hard work, at all! The interior was a touch cooler, and warmly illuminated arcane lights were back up and running in most sections, casting a sunny glow on the various crews working inside. Jake''s team had wasted no time, with many species of Folk bounding around, getting errands done. Fiona couldn¡¯t help but smile warmly at all the people Jake had pulled favors from to help her¨Cno, help her, Greg, and Bonnie, on this effort. A lizard man helped a Kitsune with a roll of wiring. A few humans milled about with coffee and discussed how to address a few patches on the stone slab. A dwarven man showed off geomancy and ¡®healed¡¯ the stone with a patch of mud that hardened seamlessly into the material. A group of adventurers in hardhats brought in some scaffolding for Bonnie''s shop, using her quick sketches to lay out the framework with lumber and some tiling. And there in the middle was Jake, tawny brown fur and bright blue eyes, and built like a wolven lumberjack. Today he was dressed in a vest and trimmed leggings, with small bindings on his clawed feet. He stood cross-armed and occasionally pointed and directed others, who gave sharp affirmations and wasted no time on the various tasks. He turned and smiled at her once he realized she was there. ¡°Hey, there are the girls of the hour!¡± He declared with a deep voice that sounded like the edge of a bark. ¡°Fiona, wasting no time getting busy, I see! And you''ve got Bonnie roped in, too! C¡¯mere!¡± Fiona and Bonnie practically pounced on Jake and hugged him. ¡°Oh you big softie, it''s so good to see you!¡± Bonnie opened with a tiny squeaky sound. Man, this girl gets high-pitched when Jake is around, it looks like I''m not the only one with an itty-bitty crush! Fiona thought as Jake gently put them down, after lifting them in the air in greetings. She felt rosy-faced and noticed Jake looked like he was in good spirits. ¡°So, uh, hi Jake! Sorry, I didn''t call sooner. I should have, and not because of my situation. Barry denied all of you guys a celebration! There weren''t even any snacks or merrymaking!¡± She lamented while scraping a bit of mortar off her coveralls. "But, I''m keeping my head high! I won''t rest until this place is bustling. I¡¯m making sure not a single copper goes to his personal pocketbook!¡± ¡°I know. The new management is a bit of a copper pincher, and I wish Greybeard had given people some warning.¡± Even Jake, the perennial upbeat, sounded deflated at the lack of snacks. ¡°Alright, let''s get you gals up to speed! Who¡¯s ready for a tour?¡± Vol. 1, Ch. 9: A Fresh Coat Of Paint! Jake gave them a tour of the ground floor, where numerous guild members worked industriously. He pointed at the renovations by the central arcane consoles, where a ratfolk was nibbling on his tail while he threaded new wiring into the panel, ears pressed back against his head in utter focus. A female wolven held up a light, and threaded wiring up into the box in tandem. ¡°As you can see, we have the biggest tasks mostly done. Silly little gilded rats took up residence so we chased them away, sealed up their little burrows, and are rewiring. You''ll have a healthy dose of arcane power for all your needs,¡± Jake announced as they walked by. Fiona couldn''t help but feel ecstatic. This could have been weeks of work! She doubted that she, Bonnie, or even Greg could have done this with such immense speed. ¡°Over here,¡± Jake continued with a flourish of his hand, ¡°we''ve set cleaning the tiling, buffing, fixing cracks. A smaller task, but presentation is everything. You''ll have plenty of space to set up shop with your displays. Bonnie''s shop will have a nice round display, access to extra arcane power, and a designated mixing zone for any alchemy projects, plus safety wash showers. We also have set up a small fabrication bench for any rune she could make!¡± ¡°Jake, you''re awesome!¡± Bonnie beamed wildly, giggling beside her at the display. ¡°Thank you so much for this, I don''t know how I can repay you guys¨C¡± ¡°Bonnie, you''ve done pro bono work for rune enchantments for my guys. You saved a lot of lives with defensive enchantments over the past year. All of this, while still working on your professional enchanter class!¡± Jake replied with a gentle wave of his huge hands. ¡°Anyway, you gals have both gone above and beyond for the guild. I can¡¯t believe there¡¯s no way out of this stupid bill for you,¡± he added with a sigh while waving to her. ¡°Bah. You know what I realized? The best way to piss him off is to show he can''t get under my skin. I mean, was I mean to him at some point? I doubt it. I¡¯m only mean to things that try to kill me or eat me. Even then, sometimes I just smother them in hugs!¡± Fiona said with an emerging smile. "Don¡¯t smother me with hugs, Fiona. You might get rug burn,¡± Jake pushed back with a hearty laugh. ¡°Nonsense, you¡¯re a smooth coat wolven! Unlike that other guy I knew who I went out with for a week. Yeesh. That was a little awkward, no offense meant toward him, but he was charmingly awkward and oblivious to me, and he¨C¡± Fiona started talking too fast, and knew her cheeks were slightly rosy. Jake laughed even harder, and Bonnie had to fight the urge to join in. ¡°Anyway, so what about the staging?¡± ¡°Oh, I got some guys already grabbing the stuff. Greg sketched out something, and I think you had some ideas, too. You realize this might take a couple of days,¡± Jake said while taking a look at a sketch she had out of her vest pocket. He made a contented sound and looked impressed. ¡°Alright, then. That¡¯ll work.¡± ¡°Hang on, don¡¯t you need a merchant class?¡± Bonnie asked, and Fiona smiled. ¡°I¡¯m picking the license tomorrow, I have to pass a written test and then they¡¯ll accredit me for running the business. Now, your place will be independent, so I think you need a license, too?¡± ¡°Fi, you are aware of how involved it is, right?¡± Bonnie insisted. ¡°You have to really commit to a class, or it doesn¡¯t work!¡± ¡°Bonnie, please, I don¡¯t half-arse things. I¡¯m a hundred percent committed to this!¡± she assured her. Bonnie quickly checked her arcanist notepad and marked something on the paper. Or screen? Fiona couldn¡¯t tell which it was, magic and technology seemed to flow together in this world. ¡°I¡¯ll be the merchant of fortunes!¡± ¡°More like the merchant of hearts and warm, fuzzy feelings,¡± Jake offered with a sharp smile. "Merchant of soft feelings and rock-hard hammers," Bonnie jested. ¡°Pssh,¡± Fiona uttered with a puff of air. ¡°I¡¯ve done my reading on business codes, I¡¯ve been doing a little research over the past couple of nights. It should be a piece of cake! I don¡¯t think King Lack-of-Beard¨C¡± ¡°King Barry,¡± Greg corrected, trying not to smear paint on his face. Fiona narrowed her eyes at him. ¡°He¡¯s lacking a magnificent beard! Kings need beards for people to take them seriously!¡± she countered while throwing her arms into the air. Jake tried to not laugh at this. ¡°Anyway, Barry will not appreciate me winning on this one. So, my best bet is to make this business work, and we have a means to get clients." ¡°The guild has a lot of connections, Fiona. We¡¯re going to use them,¡± Greg pushed back, and frowned when he got a stripe of paint on his arm. ¡°Ah, nuts. I was doing so well keeping the paint off.¡± She was convinced, however, Barry had some grudge that he was willing to risk her life on. ¡°He is, though! One point six million gold? That screams ¡®You pissed me off in another life, and I¡¯m out to get you!¡¯ He could buy another Kingdom with that amount, almost!¡± Fiona stated with a gnashing of teeth and green-eyed fury. Jake¡¯s muzzle gaped, and he had no words for a few seconds. ¡°Goodness, that much?¡± ¡°Yeah, I know! I spend big, Jake, but I don¡¯t spend anywhere close to that big. And usually, it¡¯s on my friends, too!¡± ¡°Of that, I can readily agree. On your first Slaghorn kill, you bought a few rounds of drinks for the rest of us.¡± She can¡¯t help but notice the wolven rubbing his cheek anxiously. ¡°Rest assured, I will get my friends in the merchant¡¯s guild to ensure you get a fair assessment. You¡¯ve studied the rules of commerce?¡±A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. ¡°You know it. Quiz me.¡± Jake narrowed his eyes, put one finger to his muzzle, and settled his gaze on her while she put on her warrior face. That was the same as her cute face, but with a few extra ridges on her brow. ¡°Alright. What is the standard customs rate for imports of incoming metals and minerals?¡± he asked after a moment. ¡°I know this one from my smiths.¡± ¡°Ten percent for raw resources, fifteen percent for refined, except for some items where additional refinement is required for the final product and has to be shipped off-site. The customs rate is deferred to the final deliverable site,¡± she stated coolly. Jake nodded, and Bonnie wore smug look. Or, was that her resting face? ¡°Question two. The currency exchanges with Faredala are at what ratio?¡± he asked. Jake might be a strong-armed, burly looking fluffball, but his mind was sharper than his claws or teeth. ¡°Trick question, the currencies are now on parity with Fiefdala. In the olden days before the kingdoms united as an alliance of defense, the ratio would have been 1.5 crones to 1 gold,¡± Fiona answered, and Jake nodded again, looking confident. ¡°Damn Fiona, why are you trying to make boots out of monsters, when you could have just run a business as your class, and made a lot of money in a way easier manner?¡± he asked with a firm pat on her shoulder. ¡°Alright then, I know we need to keep this moving, there is a lot of work to do.¡± They toured the rest of the floor, where scaffolding was still in place repairing a support beam. A metallurgist was removing corrosion on the support joints of the beams with sole focus. They chatted merrily for a few moments before moving on. Afterward, they held a spirited discussion about plans to keep the place running and sustain a profit. ¡°So, you think you can sell these items? I mean, some items are high-end stuff, Fi. Buyers with deep pockets, only,¡± Jake commented after looking at the inventory. ¡°Enchanted weapons, armor, equipment? Tasteless paintings of nearly nude women?¡± ¡°I uh¡­might keep some of those off of display. For reasons.¡± She fidgeted with her ear and tried not to make a face, but Jake saw right through it, arms folded and looking smug. ¡°Uh-huh. Maybe my tasteless comment was a bit off. Tasteful to someone.¡± Bonnie beside him looked like she wanted to make a squee sound, and Fiona could feel her cheeks burning. ¡°I¡¯m sure those can find a home. Art¡¯s priceless, ya know.¡± ¡°W-well, yes. Anyhow, wanna meet up after we finish work? I want to go with Bonnie back to the roof and get those tiles in place. We can¡¯t have rain getting the merchandise all ruined.¡± Jake frowned and shook his head. ¡°Can¡¯t. I have something going on tonight after this task. And I, uh¡­well¡­¡± he scratched the back of his scruff, and Fiona¡¯s eyes dazzled at this. Jake was seeing someone! She might pout a little that it wasn¡¯t her, but she¡¯d seen Jake flying solo as long as she¡¯d known him! ¡°Oh, got a little ¡®something¡¯ going on with a little ¡®someone?¡¯ Is Jake going on a date?¡± she teased, brushing away a dash of mortar from his vest. ¡°Well, not like that! Clean up young man, and brush your fur! You must be presentable!¡± ¡°W-well, it¡¯s not exactly a date¨C¡± ¡°Nonsense, date, not-a-date, present yourself like a peacock!¡± she declared and adjusted the collar on his shirt. He sighed and still laughed. ¡°I¡¯m a wolven, Fiona, not a bird.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a figure of speech! Or, it was, where I came from,¡± she pouted. She was a little disappointed that Jake had prior arrangements. But the fact that he was making a venture on this path indicated he wasn¡¯t letting his life pass by without companionship. ¡°Alright mister big shot, Dress to impress! Also brush your canines, trim the fur out of your ear just a wee little bit, and you¡¯ll be fine! You should also pick something that complements your fur color! I¡¯m thinking something light green, maybe a little bluish!¡± ¡°Now you¡¯ve done it, Jake,¡± Bonnie laughed while itching a bit of mortar that had somehow gotten on one of her ears. ¡°If you let her take control for even a second, she¡¯ll smell your weakness, and try to expunge it! Sometimes hilariously, sometimes to your benefit!¡± ¡°Which one is this one, hilarious or helpful?¡± Jake asked reluctantly. ¡°Yes,¡± Bonnie grinned without elaborating. ¡°C¡¯mon Fi, we¡¯ve pestered Jake long enough, we have work to finish! Unless you plan on letting Barry the Beardless get the better of you by sitting idle.¡± ¡°Aw, Bonnie, way to remind me of that.¡± She tied her hair back up, before turning back to Jake and waving. ¡°Alright Jake, we¡¯ll take a raincheck. Are you guys still on for that little celebration?¡± ¡°Yeah, we¡¯re still on for the weekend! And it''s hardly small, now. Bring Greg and Bonnie!¡± Jake said while hefting some equipment up and putting on a helmet. ¡°We¡¯ll catch up later, Fi!¡± ¡°You betcha!¡± She clapped her gloved hands together and followed Bonnie up the scaffolding to the roof, where the job was still sitting unfinished. The unquenchable energy of her kitsune friend was remarkable, and they quickly got to work prying up damaged tiles, and gently sliding new ones in their place. All these things felt like routine for her. She¡¯d done her own do-it-yourself activities for her old business to save money, and learned through trial and error. This was much the same, but with a body not limited in strength or agility. Back then, every victory felt hard-earned, but here? It felt like victories like this came easier to her. Eventually, it grew too dark, and Bonnie wrapped up with one last tile. ¡°Alright Fi, let¡¯s call it a day. We knew this might take a while. We¡¯ve got another day, maybe two. I can¡¯t believe Jake came through for us on such a level.¡± A content smile crossed her face while rubbing at calloused palm pads. ¡°Man, how did I get this mortar all over the place?¡± she asked as she cleaned a bit off one of her claws, and Fiona giggled. ¡°I find it funny that you¡¯re getting dirty over this one. No magic spell for this task?¡± she asked, but shook her head in response. ¡°Not everything can be just magicked away. It¡¯s time and practice. Alright, I¡¯m going to go home and wrap up.¡± "Alright, I¡¯m going to stay for a bit, see if I can get one last tile,¡± Fiona answered while sticking out her tongue and getting the stone shifted. Bonnie waved and slid down the quick-access rappel line, and she heard her saying goodbye to the others before walking up the street. She was soon just a streak of orange fur, and that stylish hat that Fiona wished came in elf-shaped. It would be so cute to wear¨Cif she were a more proper mage. She packed up her tools and took one last parting glance at the sunset, and took in that magnificent view of the pending twilight, against the cool violet and indigo sky above her, where a few stars dared to peek out. Adventuring times might be on hold for now, but there was plenty she could still appreciate here, in this town. It reminded her of when she was a kid and sitting on the roof, after climbing out the window of her house to look at the setting sun, with her sister. A low pang of regret emanated from that memory¨Csomething that was bittersweet, now. Her sister was all alone now. She wished she had a magic spell to make a call home, to let her world know she wasn''t dead. Maybe if she sold all this dragon loot and had some leftovers, she could try to make that happen. In the meantime, she peered out at the night sky and the emerging city lights and let out an exhale of relaxation. She slung her bag over her shoulder before rappelling down to head home, and rest before the next day of industrious rework. Vol. 1, Ch. 10: License To Print Money No. No. Not that one. Not cute enough. No, that one¡¯s too flirty. I¡¯m selling hardware, not my looks. Fiona frowned and looked at her closet and let out a huff as she was plunged into darkness; the arcane light had automatically dimmed out because she¡¯d been standing still for too long. She waved her arms lazily while she looked for a suit for today, just as the light clicked back on. Tucker rubbed at her ankle, meowing softly. She considered her options: she had the long black jacket and the white blouse shirt¨Cit was plain, but professional, which is what she needed to carry the appearance of today. Except, for that cute green tie that she¡¯d procured for the earlier outfit, and it did work nicely against the black vest and white blouse shirt. ¡°Mrooow.¡± Tucker rubbed against her calf again, and more than subtly bumped her. She bent down to scratch his back, and he arched his spine in response. ¡°You booger, I know, I¡¯ll make a choice as soon as I can. Choosing an outfit is hard!¡± The cat responded by leaping up onto the storage shelf just above her head and walked over to a box filled with a couple of sets of older boots. The cat peered down with a flicker of amusement, and Fiona¡¯s ears laid back a bit. ¡°Don¡¯t you dare! I see that look, cat! It¡¯s like a universal thing, all cats knock stuff over when they¡¯re bored!¡± She accused the feline. He peered at her with a glint of amusement in his eyes. Tucker immediately patted the box off the shelf with a nudge of his head and a thrust of his paws, and Fiona had to catch the box with a quick swerve. Tucker started purring as he peered down from his perch. She gave the feline a silent glare, before returning to her task. Long black stretchy leggings would finish the look, and she quickly dressed. ¡°Man Tucker, even as I lament the lack of TV, and YouTube, or even radio, this place is kind of nice,¡± she said a short time later. A quick trip to the kitchen resulted in her snagging a slice of freshly baked bread that Granny had dropped off, and she applied some fresh blackberry jam. She dove in and enjoyed that ever so slightly sourdough flavor of the bread, and the sweetness of the berries and let out a dedicated sound of delight. ¡°Mmm. This beats processed crap, though! I''ve probably never been in better health!¡± ¡°Moooow.¡± Tucker made his commentary known from the seat she''d pulled up for him, at the small table for two. She slid him the other treat Granny had brought, a tin of salted fish. He squawked in joy and instantly dug in. ¡°Yes, and you''re welcome, goober cat!¡± She assured as she gave him a quick pat while he devoured the treat. ¡°Mommy dearie has to go get some work done, I''ll be back soon!¡±
The palace wasn''t the only major municipal building in the city, and she went downtown past bustling citizens of all types. A few elven kids played tag as they breezed by her. Nearby, she saw mechanized carts in the main lane. Horses still had their place, as the carts seemed a tad unreliable at times, and people were slow to change. She felt like it was the transition from horse-drawn carriages to the early days of automobiles. And magical horses could pull heavier stuff than one might believe. One thing she realized she¡¯d been taking for granted: the lack of smog, pollution, and cars honking was a delight to her. No more having to beat rush hour traffic, when she could walk there! If she needed to travel over a distance, she could get a ride with Bonnie, who had a cart with pet oxen she kept at a local stable. Or for extreme distances, there was a teleport pad to the other major towns. Mages had it easy! Bonnie said something about it being a utility class. She still hadn¡¯t quite wrapped her head around that, she guessed that they called careers classes around here. Anytime someone asked her what her class was, she shrugged and told them ¡®monster slayer¡¯, and everyone just nodded. Why do I feel like I¡¯ve missed the memo somewhere? Ever since Barry had shown that mark on his wrist to put her into a deadly bind, she¡¯d been questioning if she had missed something. Even Greg kept asking about her class. She pushed those thoughts aside as she came up to the timber and brick building of the municipal office where licensing for the city was housed, along with records keeping and postage. At least Barry wouldn¡¯t be creeping on her here. She doubted he''d try to interfere again, but this guy had already proved he was an utter douchebag. She opened the door to a rattle of a small bell, to an office of fresh timber panels, a few dimmed arcane lights, and copious sunlight coming in through the small frame windows. A few waiting benches were empty, and stacks of parchment with form writing were there. Yep. It had all the appeal of a town hall, boring and unlively. The clerk at the front desk was snoozing, and a cup of coffee was sitting on his desk with a hint of steam coming from the mug. A silver bell sat on the counter. The kind people rang for dinner orders. Oh, there''s no way I could not do this. She grinned and clapped her hands lightly before ringing the bell like it was a train crossing. The man with closely cropped hair swerved back in his seat and started tipping over. She grabbed a chair leg before it tipped over and he looked at her, bewildered. ¡°Wakey wakey, sunshine! We gotta focus on that big customer support aspect!¡± Fiona announced with a leering smile. He stood upright and smoothed his vest before stammering a few words. ¡°I-I¡¯m so sorry, I was just¨C¡± ¡°Relax, sleepyhead, I''m messing with ya. But your boss would have probably steamrolled ya! Get some more rest at night, young man, you''re too young to be this old-looking,¡± she teased as she dropped off the form for the license application. ¡°I have to take a licensing test to become a merchant.¡± He rubbed his eyes and gasped as if he recognized her name. ¡°Wait. You''re¡­you''re the hero of Fiefdala! You took out Douglas the Red! You''re the talk of the town!¡± ¡°Eh, that dragon was small-time, he was a big pushover! All roar and no bite, and he smelled like a peat bog! I mean that''s where he lived, but still! Swamps need built-in air fresheners.¡± The man peered at the writing with her quick but legible scribbles and frowned. ¡°Anyway, think you can help?¡± ¡°You want to become a merchant? You could be a hero class! It''s what heroes do; this is¡­it¡¯s boring!¡± he uttered with a groan.Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author''s preferred platform and support their work! ¡°Look, for legal reasons, I need a business license,¡± Fiona sighed. ¡°King Lack-of-Hugs tasked me with this. Life promises you two things: Death, and Taxes. Well, guess what? I was promised both, a few days ago.¡± She wondered if she was being too on the nose on this one. ¡°King¡­Barry? How did that greasy cretin get the throne? I could have sworn Lucy would take it next if Greybeard had to step down,¡± the man spat. ¡°I know that little brat has been a troublemaker for years, until Greybeard straightened him out.¡± ¡°This sounds like Barry, alright.¡± She rubbed her temples gently while the man finished reading the form. ¡°So, what else did you hear?¡± ¡°Oh, one of the palace maids I know said he used to run the treasury a few years ago before Greybeard kicked him out. Something about money going missing. Rikkard Greybeard shoved him in as a clerk at the tax office, where he couldn''t cause trouble. I guess he got caught with his fingers on a few too many purses. But again, just a rumor, I caution you,¡± he stated in a quieter tone and motioned with his hands that this was not official information. Fiona smiled, this did sound like Barry was a schemer, after all! She just had to find out where to look. And if he was willing to steal from the Kingdom when Dad was watching, he probably would do a lot more now that dad was far and away on a very inconvenient sabbatical. ¡°Why thank you, I was looking to know the guy! I didn''t grow up here, so court intrigue is new to me. Surely as King, he must have been vetted by Dad to make sure he''d be a good ruler¨C¡± The clerk started laughing uncontrollably. ¡°Boy, did he pick the wrong heir! Lucy is the sweetheart who is level-headed. But, she doesn''t want the crown! Same as her younger sister! The two older sons are alright, but Edwards is tied up cleaning up the dragon fiasco, and he¡¯s a military man through and through. His marriage is with the uniform,¡± the clerk sighed. ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ve hung out with Lucy. She hates the palace,¡± Fiona confirmed. ¡°Oh, but she is a mischievous imp when no one¡¯s looking! The good kind, mind you!¡± ¡°Hmm, don¡¯t know anything about that,¡± the man murmured, distracted by his reading. ¡°I don¡¯t see any accreditation here, from a school or guild.¡± ¡°I have prior training in another kingdom,¡± she half-answered. That kingdom was technically a universe away called Massachusetts¨Cno wait, The Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Which sounded like a stuck-up way of saying it was a kingdom, in a way. But she didn¡¯t want to advertise that she was a heroine hailing from another world. That would garner unwanted attention. Attention that might include Barry, again. The clerk nodded and scribbled something on one of the office checkboxes. ¡°Alright, we can work with this. Your preliminary questionnaire looks suitable to my trained eye. I will have to administer the advanced test, to ensure compliance with local ordinances, tax codes, and¡­oh dear, don¡¯t pout.¡± He peered up from the paper to see her making her pouty face, and she made it known this was not okay. There were tasks to finish! ¡°Look, mister¡­um¡­hey, what¡¯s your full name, anyway?¡± she asked and examined his desk. There was no nameplate. ¡°Clarke Smith,¡± he answered. She stifled a laugh, and he couldn¡¯t help but smile. ¡°Yes, a clerk by the name of Clarke, I know. I run the office here most days, but I do have a clerk who takes part-time on the weekends in emergencies.¡± ¡°Look, Clarke, I have a ton of renovation work, and the sooner I get selling stuff, the better. I ran a business before, this should be a cakewalk for me,¡± she reasoned. He exhaled through his teeth, like he was thinking he didn¡¯t want to deal with the hassle of this one. This guy was one who played by the rules. ¡°But, I understand you have to be impartial, Clarke. Being the hero doesn¡¯t give me special status; here, I¡¯m just Fiona Swiftheart, business enthusiast.¡± Clarke glanced down at the notes, then back up to her, and tapped a pen against the page. Then he stopped and made a sound of surprise. ¡°You know what, hang on. I have¡­hmm¡­one other option. I can interview you on this effort. Show me your business plan, assets and liabilities, your risk mitigation strategy, and familiarity with local business code, and I can sign a waiver on this effort for this class.¡± ¡°Awesome! Alright, here we go.¡± She began to lay out the details of the business model, the clientele, and more importantly, how to move items and make a vast profit. He did ask about the tax situation and frowned when she mentioned a lot of the revenue would be going toward paying that debt. But, he did seem delighted about Bonnie¡¯s rune smithing, which she had a summary of. ¡°I¡¯m appalled that this taxation was enforced upon you. I¡¯ve been in the municipal office for five years, this feels like highway robbery, and you have to pay that off, and incur initial start-up costs? Let me assure you, listen to your friend Gregory, I know him from my university days.¡± ¡°Wait, you know him?¡± she asked, looking puzzled. He nodded proudly. ¡°Greg didn¡¯t want to rot in a municipal office, he wanted to go private. I understand why, too. He was good in his classes, from what I remember, very sensible. Though he did start later at the academy. I understand he had¡­stepped away from his family, so, he was going to classes on his own coin.¡± She pursed her lips for a moment ¡°I like Greg. He¡¯s very up-front about a lot of things. He knows his numbers, and I¡¯ve been trusting him to get this business up and running.¡± She paused for a moment, and realized¡­did she know much about Greg, on a personal front? He¡¯d started being her assistant, dealing with the paperwork portion of the guild, on a recommendation from Jake. Greg had immediately trained her on the art of paperwork, in a world that didn¡¯t quite have a digital age yet. And yet, she¡¯d only gleaned a few details on him. ¡°You know, he doesn¡¯t talk about himself much. I have poked him a few times on that, he sticks to being strictly on the clock. I think when he came to McFly¡¯s place earlier in the week, that might be the first time he¡¯s hung out with me and Bonnie, off the clock,¡± she conceded. ¡°So, Mister Clerk¨CI mean, uh, Clarke,¡± she hastily corrected, even as he chuckled softly. ¡°Relax, that happens to me a lot. I got used to it. It¡¯s mildly funny. Almost as funny as a man called Smith, becoming a smith,¡± he added with a wry smile. ¡°Look, Greg¡¯s always been a closed book about himself, even I couldn¡¯t pry much out of him. I think he might have differences with his family if what I¡¯ve heard is true. His clothing, mannerisms, and his etiquette suggest he was from an upper class family. And yet¡­he struck out on his own. I wonder if he''s related to the Lockheeds." "Are there more than one?" Fiona asked. "Well, yes. But not all families are the same, let''s say," he said cryptically. She twisted her lip and decided to follow up on it later. ¡°I should ask him about it. Anyway, are we all set here?¡± ¡°Oh, just a few more questions. Where was this business school, again?¡± he asked. ¡°It was uh¡­Windsor,¡± she answered after a pause. He raised an eyebrow at this. ¡°It¡¯s pretty far away. You¡¯ve probably never heard of it. It¡¯s uh¡­well, it¡¯s out of this world, you could say.¡± ¡°I must say, I¡¯ve never heard of it. But, well, we¡¯re in a world where people come from places that can¡¯t be put on a map. You do have a knack for business, based on your answers,¡± Clarke answered warmly. ¡°But I get no joy out of it. It was boring,¡± she groaned. ¡°Look, I¡¯m only doing this because there¡¯s a snowball¡¯s chance in hell of me looting enough grotesque monster parts sold to back-alley organ donations, or making creepy skin armor, to pay off this tax. Greg¡¯s working on getting the big number down.¡± ¡°Well, I can help you with this, at least. I¡¯ll sign this waiver, no questions asked, you know enough of the code of business here, that I doubt you¡¯d be willing to risk reputation or liability should you err.¡± ¡°Oh, got a copy of it? I have an older copy of the recent laws, but I want to make sure Sir Raspberry doesn¡¯t get more ammo to throw at me. So, that¡¯s it? I¡¯m a merchant now?¡± ¡°Yes indeed, you certainly qualify and have the aptitude and drive for it!¡± he declared, then frowned before snapping his fingers. ¡°Oh, hang on. It has been a while. I forgot the most important part, to set it in stone! Or, paper I suppose. The Contract. They used to use stones, but someone got cheap with the ceremony stuff.¡± Clarke pulled out something from a locked drawer¨Ca scroll of paper with gold foil? The foil itself seemed to practically glow with an inner light. ¡°Here it is. The Contract.¡± Doug the dragon hadn¡¯t scared her. Barry¡¯s death curse had just pissed her off. Her own death hadn¡¯t scared her. This unsettled her. Vol. 1, Ch. 11: Binding Arbitration ¡°Uh, did you¨C¡± She trailed off, after blinking a few times. Had she been imagining a small glow from the scroll? ¡°Was it something I said?¡± Clarke asked as he removed the foil that kept the paper loosely wound. She pondered if he¡¯d seen what she¡¯d seen. Or maybe it was the morning sun, flickering in? She swore she saw the paper glow for a split second. ¡°I¨Cnever mind.¡± With magic practically everywhere in this world, maybe people just treated it as mundane. ¡°So, you¡¯ll be adding merchant to your existing classes?¡± Clarke asked as he unfurled the paper, and pulled out a small metal case from the desk. The paper was blank, except for a single word written on it, in a language she couldn¡¯t read. But she knew what the word was. CLASS. ¡°Class?¡± she echoed. A cold sweat broke out. Greg had been asking about her class like she knew what it was, and now she was wondering if she didn¡¯t. Greg had said his class was ¡®Analyst¡¯, but had she missed something? Something else was bothering her, too. She could hear a ringing sound in the room, now. Clarke raised an eyebrow. ¡°You have selected a class before, correct?¡± ¡°O-oh, of course! I chose to be a businesswoman before! Well, that¡¯s what they call it where I came from, a career,¡± she added hastily. She wasn¡¯t sure what the significance was¨Cclass meant career, maybe? Something strange was afoot here, but Clarke continued as if this was routine. He opened the case and pulled out a silver quill. The quill point was unremarkable, but the feather showed to be every color imaginable, depending on what angle she viewed it. It was a level of iridescence she¡¯d never seen before ¡°It¡¯s just been a while, you know?¡± Okay, Fiona don¡¯t freak out, people get classes here all the time, and so can you. She¡¯d heard a few mentions of classes, but they also had some unusual sayings. It was an entirely different world from Earth, after all. Why hadn¡¯t she been paying attention? Was it like classes from all her role-playing games? ¡°I¡¯ll never forget my signing. Few do,¡± Clarke said with a contented sigh. ¡°Everyone gets a class, if they don¡¯t pick one. I picked mine to be a scribe. I loved the feel of paperwork, being the important cog that no one else sees. I get paid decently, but visibility is low. They wanted to make me an administrator. So, I agreed to pick it up. I¡¯m not a high-ranked one, but it means I get to do stuff like this on occasion.¡± ¡°Wait, your career is picked at birth? Man, that sounds lame! people had free will to pick what they wanted, where I grew up!¡± She pouted at this idea, and Clarke chuckled in response. She kept trying to ignore that feeling of unease, in the form of stomach butterflies and tensed nerves. I think I¡¯m just going to play along with this one. They seem to be steeping this one in some routine. I¡¯m just going to get this thing signed, and then, I get to go sell stuff and finish setting up that shop. That¡¯s all I need to do! She vowed internally. Clark let out a soft laugh. ¡°Come now, that¡¯s not true! We have a destined one from birth if we don¡¯t choose, so no one is left out. It¡¯s like a destiny of the gods,¡± he added with a smile. With a swift motion, he pricked his finger with the quill. Her eyes widened and she wanted to say, ¡®Don¡¯t stab yourself with metal quills¡¯, but he took the bead of blood on the quill and started writing. With his blood. Oh no, this is the moment I find out this candy-coated kingdom is a cesspool of darkness. I¡¯ve had this moment coming, living in lah-lah land, she thought as she tapped her foot at an increasingly rapid rate. ¡°Uh¨Cokay.¡± She continued to stare at this arcane spectacle, that he was treating as mundanely as a regular office routine. His cursive was legible and elegant; more strangely the blood seemed to seep into the page¨Cand disappear? No, it was very faint. The gold trim also glowed slightly in response. ¡°When did you know what you wanted to be?¡± he asked her as he continued to write. ¡°I dunno. I still wonder about my choice of career,¡± she shrugged. ¡°What was the uh, class that was your default?¡± ¡°Ah, no one can ever truly know. Some people roll the numerically marked cubes on it, so to speak, and hope for something better than their lot in life,¡± he added with a pause. ¡°I thought you would know that.¡± ¡°Oh! I mean, the career that stood out to you!¡± she lightly deflected. She didn¡¯t want poor Clarke to realize that her ¡®not from around here¡¯ spin was a gross understatement. ¡°I wanted to be an investigator, beforehand. Ah, I tried, but the exam wasn''t for me. Or, the Administrator of the exam was raising the bar just a little higher that day,¡± he answered with a shake of his head and pursed lips. ¡°Failing an exam is an utter failure. You¡¯re locked out of pursuing that class ever again. What about you? Businesswoman sounds like a bolder version of a merchant.¡± ¡°I figured it out late. it was a career of necessity,¡± she deflected lightly. ¡°You really should get some rubbing alcohol to clean that, you know, that isn¡¯t sanitary. Also, we have this thing called ¡®ink¡¯ that everyone else uses. Or pens.¡± ¡°Miss Swiftheart, I can assure you, nothing has changed since you picked your class. It¡¯s still the same process,¡± he offered assuringly, and dipped the quill tip into a bottle marked ¡®antiseptic¡¯. He wiped it clean with cloth, also in the case. He offered it to her. ¡°Just sign your class, for ¡®merchant¡¯. You might feel a little woozy If it''s been a while since your last class. It¡¯s perfectly normal.¡±Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. ¡°Uh, sure!¡± she replied with an anxious smile. Her ears were twitching, this now seemed like a monumentally bad idea. Great, Fiona. While you were being Indra Janes and running monster population control, did you miss the people doing weird voodoo rituals? Great. I hope this is just a formality, and not me about to dive into something I¡¯m in no way prepared for. Then again, if she didn¡¯t do this, she¡¯d be dead at breakfast time in under a year, with that smug prick likely grinning from ear to ear about it, as if he¡¯d finally settled an ancient score. She was determined to beat him at his stupid task, no matter what it took. If she had her plan all set up correctly, she would make sure a lot of this loot went to good use, and not sit in a vault with some rich dude in a fancy overcoat. She reached for the quill and held it hesitantly over her index finger on her right hand. And then, hesitated a little more. ¡°It¡¯s quite alright, Miss Swiftheart¨C¡± ¡°I hate needles and sharp things¨Cironic, considering the number of monsters I¡¯ve made into armor and weird fashion trends. So this is fine, it¡¯s fine, we¡¯re all fine,¡± she added with a nervous laugh. She jabbed down before she lost her nerve to do this. She drove the quill tip deep into her finger and let out a strained whimper while still trying to keep a smile. Clarke went wide-eyed, and his mouth gaped for a second. ¡°Uh¨Chaha¨Cis that good enough?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think you needed to do it quite that hard, it¡¯s usually painless¨C¡± ¡°Nope, it¡¯s fine, give me the paper, before I get blood over everything. Do I need to write neatly?¡± She winced when she pulled out the quill, but the blood pooled on the tip of her finger and sat there; none of it dripped at all. Clarke quickly slid the paper to her, and she started signing her name. Fiona Swiftheart. The only thing I brought from my world. The last thing that¡¯s mine. She narrowed her eyes and ignored the throbbing pain in her finger. Why had she kept it? Was it because she wanted to keep that connection to Earth? She could have picked any name. No one would have ever known. But she kept it. No one was going to take it from her. Her mother had picked it well. She winced as she wrote with her blood, and it faded into neat strokes on the paper. Stranger still, that ringing sound was getting louder. Was she about to faint from one little pinprick? That would be lame. She traced her name in elegant strokes, and Clarke stared at the paper. ¡°Don¡¯t forget to write the¨C¡± ¡°Class, yep, got it, not my first rodeo,¡± she answered with a laugh bordering on panic. Why was that ringing getting louder? Did Barry totally own her, and was she signing her soul to him? Barry¡¯s a wizard from Florida. An overpowered wizard, who head-gamed me into my own death, signing cursed contracts. She focused on the task at hand. She wrote ¡®MERCHANT¡¯ on the paper, and finished with a quick flourish. Then, deciding that wasn¡¯t dramatic enough, she added ¡®OF FORTUNE¡¯, and gave the quill a twirl. The gold traces on the paper glowed¨Cas did the traced blood, and a low breeze built up in the room. ¡°Okay, all done! So, does this go to a wizard?¡± Clarke shook his head and tapped the page gently. ¡°No, the contract is self-actuating, I believe everything is in order.¡± He took the quill back after sanitizing it. Then, he offered her a cloth. ¡°Nothing to worry about, it should activate in a few seconds, sometimes there¡¯s a delay. I once had to sit for five minutes with someone who thought the contract was rejected.¡± ¡°Wait. I thought you said that only Administrators can reject it,¡± Fiona countered. She ignored that throbbing pain in her finger that seemed to radiate through her whole hand now. Great. I got heavy metal poisoning from whatever exotic material that quill point was made from. Clarke shrugged lightly. ¡°Eh, you know sometimes, the gods will override the Administrators. Doesn¡¯t happen very oft¨C¡± he halted his words and his gaze was drawn back to the contract sitting on the desk. Something was wrong. Something was horribly, world-endingly wrong. Even Clarke knew it, the way he fearfully looked at the fluttering contract on his desk. The breeze built into a gale, inside a building. She felt her hand almost being pulled in magnetically to the paper, which was glowing visibly now, and ringing like a choir of angelic voices. She tried to resist the pull, and found that it was like trying to move the whole earth¨Cher body wanted to go in that inconvenient direction of the glowing, probably ominous piece of paper. ¡°Um, I know the fanfare is a little cool, but tone it down a bit! I mean it¡¯s just taking a job as a merchant, right?!¡± she called out. This was so not cool to haze a newly made merchant. ¡°No, it is not! Miss Swiftheart, what was your first class?!¡± Clarke shouted out, and had to grip the desk to keep from being jostled by the wind. ¡°I told you, businesswoman!¡± Her voice sounded a little muffled from the miniature hurricane building in this room, and Clarke shook his head in disbelief. ¡°Before that!¡± he yelled out over the gale. She braced herself against the desk, and errant papers were now floating around this one scrap of demon paper that was glowing bright white now. ¡°I was¨Ca warrior!¡± she answered. Technically. It was the truth¨Cif you counted the National Guard, fresh out of high school, as anything resembling warriorly. ¡°No, Miss Swiftheart, what was the class given to you at birth?!¡± She frantically tried to claw at his meaning¨Ceveryone had a class? Did that mean that she¨C ¡°You said no one ever knows what it is!¡± ¡°Not true! Once your class is picked, you do learn what the gods had in store for you, which is why I need to know!¡± Clarke was looking fearful now. Not a good sign, while they were sitting in the middle of a hurricane of papers, inside a wooden and glass snow globe. The realization hit her harder than the oil tanker that killed her. I was supposed to have a class? Am I the only one without one?! ¡°I¨CI didn¡¯t have one!¡± she shouted out, trying to hold her hand away from the paper. ¡°I wasn¡¯t born here! I died on another world six months ago, and ended up here!¡± If there was ever a sign to indicate someone soiled themselves, it was etched on Clarke''s terror-struck face, and his eye practically twitched at this statement. Or, maybe it was the hurricane brewing in the room. Either way, it spoke of bad news of the worst kind. ¡°Oh, dear gods.¡± His words of dread were uttered the second she touched that blinding paper, and scratchy whispers filled her ears, indistinct, but strangely comforting. The world exploded into burning bright white light, and then instantly clicked to darkness. Vol. 1, Ch. 12: Being A Class Act
Oh, What¡¯s this? Is it someone new?
¡­
You do look like you¡¯ve been through a lot. Oh my! We should check you for injuries.
Injuries? A magical contract exploded on me. Fiona woke to consciousness¡ªand saw nothing. Nothing, except for a strange set of messages right in front of her face.
Who did this?! Who marked a sweet, mostly innocent elf in this way? Oh, this will not stand! ¡­ Okay, I can¡¯t fix that one. That one is out of my hands. Stupid rules¡­Hi there, by the way!
Um¡­hi? Fiona looked around, but she couldn¡¯t. A trickle of worry began to creep through her mind. What is going on?
Okay, short version? Your signing of a magical contract may or may have not initiated a little debate among us. Me, I¡¯m just the messenger. It¡¯s totally fine! Probably.
Hi, floaty voice in my head, this is Fiona Swiftheart, and she is currently occupied by an induced coma from an exploding magical contract. Wait. I think that¡¯s what happened. Fiona couldn¡¯t open her eyes, and the whole world was black. Not the black because she couldn¡¯t open her eyes, but as if her vision had ceased to be. She couldn¡¯t move her head. She couldn¡¯t move her arms¡ªwait, where were her arms? Or legs? Or the rest of her lithe elven body? Oh no. I¡¯m dead. Again. This is purgatory. Barry got me.
I don¡¯t know who Barry is, but he sounds unpleasant. What a terrible name. Also, you¡¯re not dead. We¡¯re sort of¡­ between moments.
If she had a face, she¡¯d roll her eyes. I¡¯m going to need a little more detail than that. If she had hands¨Cor a body, for that matter¨Cit would be lurching toward that beardless, pasty-faced prodigy of hereditary monarchy. Instead of those weird messages, the voice of a young female was audible in her mind, now. Hmm. Wait¡­you¡¯re not from here? You''re not a native of Cepalune? Your soul is...different. Nah, I¡¯m a visitor. From a world that probably, in all likelihood, has ceased to exist. Where¡¯s my body? Oh, don¡¯t worry about that. Fiona, this is all perfectly normal! Well, normal as we can get. Someone brought you here but...I know nothing about why. I have my guesses--oh. Oh goodness. Is this a good thing, or a bad thing? Fiona asked wearily. She tried to fix her gaze in another direction, but those words kept following her. It was like YouTube ads you couldn¡¯t skip. Or those beyond-frustrating eight million ads between her, and the perfect chocolate chip cupcake recipe. Plus a five thousand word essay on how the recipe creator was inspired by their grandmother. She just wanted the damn cupcake! And an explanation for the hallucinations inside her head. Okay, I can hear some strife. A little aggrievement. I understand. First time? First time for what, exactly? Fiona still couldn¡¯t ¡®look¡¯ at anything that wasn¡¯t directly in front of her. Get that Clarke guy back, this is his fault! He didn¡¯t even sterilize that quill! Who does that, who signs a contract in blood?! It¡¯s so unsanitary!
I know nothing of this Clarke. Your mention of a quill¨Cwas he an Administrator? Oh, darn it, I seem to have not fixed that issue with the visual communications--
He administers a desk! He¡¯s hardly an administrator! Seriously, bring me back into the light, you Commodore 64 clone! That¡¯s weird, this text looks like a DOS prompt. Suddenly, all the nightmares of trying to enter command prompts that she never memorized came back to haunt her, and she wanted to groan¨Cbut had no lips. The female voice cropped up again. It was a lot more assuring than a wall of text. Let¡¯s get back on track, Fiona. Did you sign a contract for a new class? The thought put Fiona back into focus, and she mulled her response. Okay, here¡¯s what happened. I went to sign up for a business license. I signed a contract. Then the contract zapped me. Yes, but what did you pick as your class, Fiona? Oh, yes! I picked the Merchant¡­of Fortune? ... Great. Another one with a flair for drama. I need to noodle on this one for a minute. What do you mean, another one?! That had to be something telling, even if she didn''t grasp the what just now. ¡­ Uh, there¡¯s a problem. You never had a destined class. How did that happen? Pretend for a moment, I don¡¯t know what a class is, in the context of Cepalune. Possibly brought on by a bit of naivety and being distracted by getting a second shot of life. Clarke mentioned Destined classes. So, everyone born, or brought to Cepalune, acquires a class when they turn eighteen. These classes are our inherent power, Fiona. You may start with one, but your life isn¡¯t boxed in by one. They grant you powers, depending on your vocation in life. From a mere farmer to a mage, to being a leader of whole nations. Yep. That¡¯s exactly what I¡¯m saying. If I was supposed to get one, no one told me! I¡¯m beginning to worry I might have broken the fundamental order of the world. I didn¡¯t plan for that! I believe you when you say that. So, you didn¡¯t have a destined class! This means that whatever you wrote, is now the destined class! Which is, apparently, Merchant of Fortune! I think this one might be unique! I should have picked ¡®Humiliator of Beardless Rulers¡¯. That would have solved both the Barry problem, and the Doug problem. She still didn¡¯t know who the ¡®they¡¯ were. That worried her immensely. I¡¯m sure that class would have been outright rejected. Something still isn¡¯t right here¡­Fiona, I need to confirm with you your ancestry. Are you the daughter of a demon, devil, celestinian, fey, former gods, dragons, proteans, or from a species that fits into the ¡®undeclared¡¯ category? Uh¡­no? I mean, I don¡¯t think so. Wonderful! Now, if you want to intuit your class abilities, most Administrators will have some periodicals. But yours is off the books, so, I don¡¯t know what to do here! Guess we¡¯ll just wing it! Listen, voiceless person, who I¡¯m going to call Dave for unironic reasons, I know you¡¯re not allowed to let me do it, but I¡¯ve got places to go and Kings to throw an ironic raspberry at! This was Barry¡¯s fault, she decided. He¡¯d tricked her to become a merchant, probably knowing how stubborn she could be, and set up this poor schmuck Clarke without a clue what would happen. Was Barry a big-brain genius savant thinking ten moves ahead, to put her into a coma? Nah, he couldn¡¯t be that smart. More likely, it was a coincidence. She let out a mental exhale. Okay, Dave, I need to wake up now. And make sure my body is still in one piece. Can you do that, please?Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road. Alright. Remember, your Destiny Class is now active. Now, I should probably throw out a hint. What you do, affects others, Fiona. Your impact on the world--how you hold yourself--will impact many. Including, some who will grow close to you. I¡¯d like to start by paying off this coerced tax and not keel over and die, first off. Destiny and other crap can come later, thanks. Whatever was happening now, was important. Even if she didn¡¯t know why, just then. Alright, then. Be prepared for a jarring return to wakey-wakey land. And a splitting headache. And...be a good example for many, if I may offer my personal preference. Wait. Who are you, really, though? Someone who tidies up messes, you could say. But in a good way--Oh wait, gotta go, might want to grab a health potion for that headache, too. Toodles! Fiona let out a soft sigh. This level of sass was just too much even for her. She would have also corrected Dave that ¡®toodles¡¯ was possibly the lamest farewell she¡¯d ever heard in two lifetimes, but then a blinding light enveloped her existence. Searing pain returned to limbs that hadn¡¯t been there a second ago, and she blinked.
I blinked? The room came back into focus, and was a blurry white. But upon a second look and a feeling of something on her face, she realized it was just a piece of copier paper that Clarke had kept in his office, sitting on top of her. Well, that was embarrassing. She must have conked out from her experience with a wizard from¡­Canada, this time around. Clarke sounded Canadian. Almost. Floridian wizards were still overpowered. She pulled back the paper from her face, groaning from the influence of the pounding in her head, her skull feeling too small, and sat up to the sound of more fluttering paper. More parchment was filtering down, while most of the furniture was toppled or shunted away. The contract was still sitting on the desk and glowing, but not in an ominous way. More like a cool power-up kind of way. Then it decided it wasn¡¯t dramatic enough for its tastes and it caught fire, and she looked on in dismay. The scroll turned into instant cinders, with little golden motes floating into the air and seemingly melting out of existence. Clarke was on the ground, under more papers and groaning. She couldn¡¯t see if he was hurt, but the fact that he was muttering to some probable deities in a panicked voice indicated he probably was fine. The silver bell previously sitting on the edge of the desk finally slipped and fell to the ground, and made a deafening ding sound that irritated her ears¨Cand the rest of her. She clutched her head and felt nauseous. This was the hangover to end all hangovers, with full body aches, pains, and a feeling of disorientation she couldn¡¯t shake. She rose on wobbly legs, and shuffled through loose papers on the hardwood floor. After a second, she unburied Clarke from his current paper fort. ¡°Clarke? You okay?¡± she asked with a hoarse voice, holding her head. Even her ears hurt. Cute ears should not hurt this much, and she winced at that giant demon in her head, roaming around with a sledgehammer between her ears, like an enthusiastic demolition crew. Clarke sat flat on his back, and propped himself up slowly, looking dazed. He was, fortunately, unharmed. ¡°Miss Swiftheart? Could you explain what just happened?¡± he asked with a deadly calm tone, countered by the panic in his eyes. She was just not making his Lunesday at all. ¡°Uh, Clarke? Before I say anything, I need you to keep a secret. Or, you know, it could be deadly for me.¡± ¡°On the account that what just happened was both impossible, inexplicable, and unmatched by anything I have observed in my life? Then yes, I can keep a secret.¡± She pulled him to his feet, and he brushed himself off¨Cand pulled another errant paper that seemed to cling to his foot. ¡°Um, well now. You have your class, correct?¡± ¡°Uh¡­how do I know that for sure?¡± she asked hesitantly. ¡°You just think of it. I am immensely disturbed by the lack of class on your part,¡± he stated shakily. She might be fighting the worst magical hangover of her life, but she bore holes through his soul with her reciprocal glare. ¡°I am a classy lady, Clarke,¡± she snarled. ¡°That¡¯s not what I meant,¡± he sighed and peered at the now burnt bits of paper on his desk, and groaned. ¡°Well, that is problematic.¡± ¡°Was that supposed to happen?¡± she asked and set the seat back up to a standing position so she could lean on it. ¡°Nope. Not at all. I do not know what to make of a contract auto-incinerating, but I fear that someone will take an unhealthy interest in it that will likely lead to queries, dungeons, possible torture, and ignoble death. So, until I figure out what we saw, don¡¯t tell anyone, alright? I would like to keep my job, and my head on my shoulders. Now please, let me know if your class shows up properly.¡± ¡°How am I supposed to¨C¡± she sighed. ¡°Look, pretend that I¡¯m an idiot. How do you normally display your class?¡± ¡°It¡¯s on your wrist. But, it looks different for everyone. And I can¡¯t see it, either, even as an administrator. Interesting. Most people have to just want to show it to someone." She blinked and looked down at her right wrist, which tingled with static. A slight darkening of the skin was there, and the image emerged¡ªand the shape it took surprised her. A little ruby red jewel, in the shape of a heart, with a pair of small angel wings, now adorned her wrist. That must be quite unusual. ¡°Should I describe it to you?¡± ¡°Some people do, but¡­it may, often-times, be considered something a little more intimate to those who can see it, or want to share it.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a jeweled, winged heart.¡± He blinked at that. ¡°I¡¯ve¡­never heard of that before. I mean precious gems, gold, scales of balance, contracts are the norm for a merchant class, but¡­that one seems strange.¡± She rubbed at it uneasily, though it was pretty to look at. What should I call this? The wealth of hearts? You know what, that¡¯s a baller name for it! I¡¯m sticking with it! She glanced at Clarke, who also was examining his wrist. ¡°So, does it ever change?¡± ¡°It can. Think of it as wearing your soul on your sleeve. A class isn¡¯t just an occupation. It¡¯s a way of living, a mentality. Most people only think of it in that first way, though. Just a job,¡± He added, and he traced his fingers across his wrist¨Ctapping at six points, in a pattern? She wondered just what he saw. ¡°The wrist is the most common. It may also show up in other places, on rare occasions.¡± She stared at him blankly. ¡°If the gods gave me a tramp stamp, I¡¯m gonna go on a god-killing spree, until they stop laughing,¡± she aired to the universe with burning fury. Clarke laughed anxiously and tried to give her a reassuring wave. ¡°No, it¡¯s not like that. It may show up someplace on your body that¡¯s important to you. For soldiers and carriers-of-arms, it may be their arm, wrist, or fingers. For those of other occupations, their neck, torso, and chest. It¡¯s unique to everyone, though many people do take the same class.¡± ¡°How come no one ever mentions it? Or is it because no one else can see it?¡± she queried and looked at her wrist. Oh, Greg, I get this feeling I¡¯m in even worse trouble than I was with that snotty-nosed king extorting me. She tried to keep calm as she adjusted her thoroughly frazzled hair behind her ears. Luckily, her attire hadn¡¯t taken any damage during that rather rude awakening on the literal soul level. Clarke grunted before he examined her up and down. ¡°Alright. As an administrator, I have a limited ability to see your class. It speaks to me that you¡¯re, indeed, a ¡®Merchant¡¯." He narrowed his eyes as he looked right at her. ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯ve ever heard of the class ¡®Merchant of Fortune¡¯. I don¡¯t even think it is a class, because all I feel is ''Merchant''. It must be, I can¡¯t imagine how it couldn¡¯t be, with that dramatic a of contract execution." Great. Other people like Clarke see my class? That sounds problematic. ¡°Look, Clarke, if I give you one tidbit, you gotta promise me you¡¯re not going to make a ruckus. I just need to make a living, with a little less drama.¡± "My lips are sealed, Miss Swiftheart. On account of preserving my health, too," Clark responded after a short pause, his face growing somber. "There''s something different, isn''t there?" She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before gazing at him, in this now thoroughly disheveled room. No one outside apparently even noticed, and the glass was at least intact. ¡°I¡¯m not from here.¡± ¡°You said that, but what did you mean?¡± he pondered. ¡°I was summoned. I wasn¡¯t born here. I came here six months ago, after I died someplace else. I didn¡¯t have a single shred of clothing on me, and nothing else but my name and memories,¡± she stated solemnly. ¡°Or, that''s what I¡¯ve figured out so far. A few of my friends know, very few, and very recently.¡± ¡°Fiona, this is¡­summons usually have a class the second they show up,¡± he stated as he tidied himself up. ¡°You didn¡¯t?¡± ¡°No. I have a class now, that¡¯s all that matters. I¡¯ve got bills to pay, Clarke. Sorry for the mess.¡± She proceeded to help him tidy up the furniture, and recover all the errant papers. A few were crinkled now, much to her displeasure. ¡°Why is this such a big deal, though?¡± ¡°Because everyone has a class, Fiona. Everyone has a font of power from somewhere.¡± He brushes the burnt bits of the promissory note into the trash bin, and then sets the papers down on his desk, to sort through later. ¡°I don¡¯t want to lose my job. You don¡¯t want attention. Summons do happen, but¨CI¡¯ve never heard of summons showing up like you did. You would normally be met by your summoner, whoever that might be. Or, have a class instantly. But none shows, now that I¡¯m actively looking." ¡°No one was there when I woke up. Either they cast their magical ¡®yoink¡¯ spell and peaced out, or I slipped through reality to get here,¡± she concluded. ¡°I don¡¯t want the attention, Clarke. I just want to live my life. Because you know what¡¯s waiting for me, back at home? Nothing. Nothing but destruction.¡± He finally took the hint and slumped before nodding softly. ¡°I¡­alright. But I must research this, Fiona. Discreetly. If you experience anything unusual, please let me know, alright?¡± he pulled out his arcane relay, and she reached for the one in her pocket. After a second of hesitation, she tapped hers against his, and a slight arc of yellow energy transferred between the two. He nodded and put the device away. ¡°Good. Now, how much have you heard of classes, anyway?¡± ¡°Not much. Never really entered much of my vernacular. I spent most of my time just whacking giant monsters, hanging out with friends, and lofting at my apartment, not realizing I was not the only summon,¡± she answered. He handed her a small book, and she gave him a questioning look. ¡°What¡¯s this?¡± ¡°Knowledge. It''s a pretty basic book, but if you were summoned and know nothing about the Contracts, or the gods-blessed classes of our world, then you better read up on them. And be discrete.¡± He sat down at his desk and tried to fix his tousled hair. He looked up at her with an expression of contemplation. ¡°Congratulations on your class, by the way.¡± ¡°Thanks. I think.¡± She turned for the door and departed, and should have been filled with joy. The shop was almost ready, but why did it feel like everything got thrown on an extremely tilted trajectory just now? Maybe I should have just written ¡®Merchant¡¯ like every other square! What was I thinking?! Nope, I am not indulging in this moment of self-inflicted panic, I am going to figure this out! She tapped her fingers anxiously against her new mark, before taking a calming breath. Okay, what¡¯s the first step? I need to process this, and I need to talk to someone. And a coffee. Yep. She was headed to Darla''s place, first, as soon as she was done with the renovation job. She needed to think on this one. Urgently. Vol. 1, Ch. 13: Clock Out Before You Take Your Break! Fiona managed to get through the second day of renovation work by trying not to focus on the morning¨Cshe still needed to process just what had happened. At least with the renovation work, the place was shaping up nicely. But they needed one more day of work to put the polishing touches on the building. Bonnie kept looking up from the work, as if she had something to ask. She knows something is up. I am so out of sorts right now. She cursed her silliness. She¡¯d been here for six months and not thought of questioning the whole ¡®class¡¯ thing as more than just a quirk of culture for jobs or careers. It was literally wearing your passions on your sleeve! Her soul on her sleeve! Almost in response, her wrist tingled. She rolled back her sleeve as a few raindrops came down. If anything, the jeweled heart was even more visible, and the wings¡­fluttered on her skin. She flicked her wrist gently, and it remained still. Uh, are you alive or something? It almost reminded her of living tattoos she''d seen in movies. If her mark had anything to say, she didn¡¯t hear it. I have no idea what this means, but Bonnie and Greg are going to be pissed off that I didn¡¯t tell them about this. I¡¯m gonna tell them soon, I have to. She didn¡¯t want to bring it up yet. The store was the priority, and if Clarke was keen on keeping his job, this was a slow-burn crisis, rather than an immediate one. Okay winged heart, what do I do? The answer didn¡¯t come in words, but she felt a flutter in her own heart, for a second. ¡°Hey, Bonnie, let¡¯s go head to Darla¡¯s caf¨¦ on the way home, and grab a drink. Sound good?¡± ¡°Yeah, sure thing!¡± Rain-laden clouds had been drifting southward across the lake all day¡ªby the time they wrapped up, droplets were coming down in a steady, soaking drizzle. Bonnie kept giving her wayward glances as they walked back. ¡°Fiona, you¡¯ve been super quiet today. What¡¯s going on?¡± ¡°Oh, I dunno. It¡¯s just¡­the class thing, I guess. I mean, everyone changes careers, right?¡± Her vulpine friend was now holding her wand aloft, a faint shimmering barrier dripping the rain away from them both¡ªthough, a few wind-swept drops did spatter them, on occasion. ¡° ¡°Is this related to¡ª¡± Bonnie glanced her way, ears canted at an angle. ¡°Well, you know, our esteemed royal extortionist?¡± ¡°Yes¡ªno¡ªit¡¯s hard to explain.¡± She brushed her damp hair out of her face. Unprecedented days with a lot of bad stuff needed to end on a positive note. If coffee¨Cor Darla¨Cweren¡¯t the fixes for that malady, she didn¡¯t know what was. ¡°You know something? I could go for something nice and mellow. Darla¡¯s coffee is the best around.¡± Bonnie nodded, but, she could see the way she looked at her, she was worried for her. Fiona pushed the door to the caf¨¦ open and heard a jingle of a familiar and welcoming little silver bell. She was immediately comforted by the scent of roasted beans, and better yet, grill-roasted sandwiches filling the quaint place. ¡°Darla, seating for two! Or, three, if you¡¯re not busy,¡± she added with a sly smile. ¡°You two look like you¡¯ve been busy. Bon-Bon, I presume you guys have been industrious the past few days?¡± she asked, her tail slinking back and forth as she handed a wax paper-wrapped meal to an eager feline couple, practically purring as they headed out into the rain. The black and yellow spotted teen holding an umbrella for his shorter female friend, and she leaned against him affectionately as they walked down the walkway. ¡°Very. The repairs and renovations are still underway,¡± Bonnie replied and shook the water off where her fur was damp. ¡°I¡¯ll take a Valtirian Classic, please! And a hot coffee, cream, and sugar!¡± ¡°Ooh, one of my favorites,¡± Darla purred, golden eyes glancing at Fiona. ¡°What¡¯ll you have darling?¡± ¡°You know what? I could go for the same!¡± Bonnie always seemed to sniff out the best meals in every restaurant, though she always liked meals with poultry and fish. Darla wasted no time and got their hot drinks ready. It felt like welcome relief after the unexpectedly chilly rains had struck the city, and Fiona sipped deeply of those rich coffee notes. She let out a sigh of delight. ¡°Oh, this is much better. Thanks for coming, Bonnie.¡± ¡°Ah, I love hanging with my favorite rosy-colored sister from another mother,¡± she jested, having taken her witch hat off and shrunk it down to fit in her purse. ¡°What a way to break the warm streak. Usually, the rain holds off till later in the fall, when the winds change. Must be early this year.¡± ¡°Wouldn¡¯t know. It¡¯s my first year here.¡± Fiona took another sip, looking at the rain-streaked window. A few people were walking around in umbrellas, but the streets had mostly cleared out. They chatted for a few minutes about the city, and how Fiefdala was a little bit cooler than the surrounding area, leading to delightful summers, and frosty winters. Usually there was a large amount of snow, partially driven by the sheer size of the lake. It reminded her of the lake effect snow from New York state, by the Great Lakes¡ªthough Galahein Lake wasn¡¯t quite as big. Darla brought their meals out¡ªand a small one for her. The caf¨¦ was empty except for the three of them, for the moment. Fiona dug into her sandwich¡ªof roasted ham, a salty cheese she didn¡¯t quite have an analog for, and the tomatillos that were like tomatoes back on earth, but slightly spicy, and just a tiny hint of salt to them. Ultimately, she finished her meal, and Bonnie glanced at her, leaning in. Darla had also taken up a seat, since it was quiet in the cafe. ¡°Fiona, how did your trip to the office to get your merchant class go today? You didn¡¯t say much about it.¡± ¡°It went¡­uh¡­okay.¡± She silently cursed on the inside, it went anything but okay, and her smooth talk was faltering for the first time in forever. Bonnie raised one ear for emphasis. ¡°You know, people usually show more enthusiasm when they get a class. I mean it¡¯s a big deal!¡± ¡°Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is. So, in another day or two, the renovations will be done, and then we¡¯ll have our grand opening!¡± Fiona declared, trying to sound cheerier. ¡°I guess, the class thing, I¡­I wasn¡¯t prepared for it.¡± She glanced down at her drink, thinking of how to bring this up. But, maybe she could ask a few casual questions. ¡°Darla, I¡¯ve been around for a few months, I don¡¯t think I¡¯ve met another, um, well¡­¡± ¡°Darkling?¡± she finished. Fiona nodded quietly. ¡°You can ask, it¡¯s alright. I remember earlier in the week, that you said you were summoned. I was, too. Though, not across the entire cosmos. I was summoned from the underworld by some upstart mage who had a grandiose plan to bring home a girlfriend.¡± Fiona tried not to laugh at that and bit her lip hard. ¡°Guessing it didn¡¯t go his way?¡± Fiona dared to ask. Darla shook her head, those golden orbs lit up a bit more brightly. ¡°Nah. I¡¯m not that kind of girl. We darklings are quite open about who we care about, regardless of gender, and he wasn¡¯t my type. He changed his tune after I beat him with the broadside of his summoning spell book. I also might have threatened him in an endearing way that his manhood would become a purse ornament.¡± ¡°Creative, and disturbing,¡± Bonnie laughed. Fiona snerked at this. ¡°Darling, that would have probably been a tad too much. So, when you got summoned, were you¡­well, still the same?¡± ¡°I mean, yeah? I was still me; I had what I was wearing and holding at the time. Why? Was yours different?¡± she inquired as she drummed her finger on the table. Fiona noted that as sharp as her claws were, they were well-maintained. She¡¯d even given them a splash of purple nail polish, too¡ªwith little painted hearts! The purple matched her skin color nicely. ¡°Well, I got brought here, and I didn¡¯t have long ears, let¡¯s just say.¡± She rubbed at one conscientiously. ¡°Darla, dumb question. All the summonses have a class, right? Even you?¡± ¡°Yeah, everyone does. However I hear some funny stuff happens with people brought from faraway worlds and they get some random class if they¡¯re of age. Funny, my Destined Class was supposed to be ¡®artist¡¯, but I chose to become a chef. Though, as you might have figured out, those classes can be quite broadly termed,¡± she explained. ¡°My dad loved to cook. I mean, everyone has to eat, right? People need to be part of that service.¡±Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on. ¡°I love food,¡± Fiona declared with a passionate voice. ¡°Food is awesome! And snacks.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t keep any hidden away from you, snack thief,¡± Bonnie teased, jabbing her softly with an elbow. ¡°This one time at the guild? Fiona managed to stow away all the snacks at some little get-together, and I don¡¯t even know how she did it! Especially the buttered crawdads from the lake. They are a delicacy!¡± ¡°Oh, they are,¡± she offered with an impish grin. ¡°A-anyway, you were saying?¡± she motioned for Darla to continue, whose tail was wagging back and forth gently. She wondered if she could read Darla¡¯s mood, based on that. Darla continued without missing a beat. ¡°Well, my dad was a chef, he used to work for some big-wig demon lord. Which is just a title down there for a mayor or a governor of a province of Underlune, and not, say, a title for a guy with mad visions of power,¡± she added with a smirk. ¡°My dad worked for this chill demon lord who ran his chunk of the underworld like a normal city, so people could pursue their dreams.¡± Darla hunkered down, fingers interlaced between her hands, looking dreamy. ¡°I love my dad to pieces. He is so good at what he does, he makes food an art, and I can¡¯t think of a time when people didn¡¯t leave his little kitchen without a smile on their faces. So, I followed him in his footsteps. The blood had barely dried on the contract when it was taken, and the Administrator guy was shocked. Then, I saw that little message about my destined class on the scroll about being an artist. Lost forever,¡± she sighed with an eye roll. ¡°But I am an artist of a different sort¨Cwith coffee delights,¡± she added with a soft laugh. ¡°Now, there¡¯s a positive attitude! Maybe it was meant to be, but just not in the way you thought!¡± Fiona proposed with a gentle pat on her forearm. Darla blushed, with a hint of purple on her face, but she also didn¡¯t shy away. ¡°But you were also pulled away from home. Could you get back?¡± ¡°To the underworld? Ah, that¡¯s easy, I could go find a big enough cave, and I could meander my way down, no problem. Most of the demon kingdoms don¡¯t have issues with the surface, and some have teleports back and forth to the surface. I have headed home a few times to see Mom and Dad, but after I got to the surface¡­I took a liking to it,¡± she added with a content sound of delight. "They''re still afraid the sky will eat me. Superstition, indeed." ¡°I might eat you,¡± Bonnie added with a lick of her lips, followed by a burst of laughter from all of them. ¡°I can¡¯t believe I never asked you this! I¡¯ve been coming here¡­oh I dunno, two years?¡± ¡°I remember you were wrapping up with your mage classes when you first showed up, always came here with your notebook at the beginning, working on making your hat doing magical tricks,¡± Darla purred. She pointed out the window, where the drizzle had set in. ¡°So, as you can imagine, it doesn¡¯t rain a lot in Underlune. I know a lot of people hate the rain, on the surface. Me? I like to fall asleep to the sound of the rain, running down the window in my apartment. ¡°Man, that¡¯s me, too,¡± Fiona confessed. ¡°A good steady rain, late at night, I could fall asleep to the sound in a wink.¡± ¡°That¡¯s the only thing, though.¡± Darla tapped the glass gently. ¡°The usual crowd trickles in for a warm drink when the autumn rains come in. They get all cozy, quiet, calm, and it¡¯s this most therapeutic thing. It¡¯s different than down there. Not bad, not good, because heaven knows, the surface has its slew of problems. Greedy dragons included,¡± she laughed with a tousle of Fiona¡¯s hair, and she protested playfully at this breach of space. ¡°Oh, you sassy barista, you!¡± she accused playfully, and felt a little better, now. ¡°At least you can go home, I mean, it¡¯s an option. Dunno about getting back to Earth, though.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a little tougher to sling people back to faraway worlds,¡± Bonnie replied, furrowing her brow. ¡°The teleportation would need all the setup on the other side, it¡¯s kind of one way. It¡¯s like that game with leather gloves, a white ball, and that club you swing. You need to ¡®catch¡¯ someone on the receiving side. Failure to do so could be, um, messy.¡± She scrunched her face at this mention. ¡°I¡¯m glad you came out here in one piece, though!¡± ¡°Yeah, me too. I honestly believe that even if I could go back¡­it would be a struggle to go back, when I¡¯ve started building something here.¡± Why am I avoiding this? Just tell them, Fiona. Just tell them what happened back there. She wanted to, and she trusted Bonnie at a minimum, and Darla was a ray of sunshine. But, telling them this¡­she didn¡¯t want to relive those moments. The last ones on Earth. She¡¯d been burying them away for six months, successfully. Then everything got turned on its head, in the span of a few days. Bonnie gave her a quizzical look¡ªhad she intuited something? She changed the topic quickly. ¡°Look, sorry if I sound dumb, but, what''s your class magic like? Or skills?¡± Darla twirled her hair for a second with one finger. ¡°Hmm. No two people wear their class the same. For me, it enhances my senses of taste, smell, and touch. I can put together recipes like no tomorrow, not just coffee or sandwiches, and I cook like a demon¨Cah, what a pun,¡± she added with a deep laugh. ¡°I also have a few other tricks I can pull. My ¡®pocket kitchen¡¯ I call it.¡± ¡°Demon sounds like¡­a not cool word, now that I think about it,¡± Fiona sighed. ¡°Darkling sounds romanticized. I like it! So, you never had any plans to be in any other class?¡± Darla shook her head but still maintained a proud smile. ¡°I like what I can do, it¡¯s all I ever wanted. I have all the skills I need from my dad. I didn¡¯t need a class for those, but it enhanced what I already did. I don¡¯t need to be an artist in title to make something people give great thought toward. You know?¡± she added with a shy smile. ¡°So, if you don¡¯t mind me asking? Is this related to today?¡± ¡°Maybe. I don''t know, it¡¯s just one of those days, where you give a lot of thought to something you gave almost no thought to, before. And you just sit there and give it a good, long thinking. I used to have days like that. In the shop, I ran. Sometimes, if customers were lacking, I¡¯d grab a book and read. It would help me clear my thoughts.¡± Fiona took another sip, and Darla nodded thoughtfully. ¡°What kind of books?¡± Bonnie asked, ears perked in curiosity. ¡°I¡¯ve seen you grab a book a time or two, but¡­¡± ¡°Fantasy novels. We had darklings¨Cbut they called them different things, and they looked different. We had dragons, too. But the dragons were still mean on Earth. Or at least they were in the books. We didn¡¯t have real ones. Funny how the universe works, huh?¡± she commented with a sly nudge. ¡°It has been a bit of an adjustment. Anyway, I¡¯ve been talking off your guys'' ears¨C¡± ¡°Nah, you¡¯re fine,¡± Darla replied warmly, and pointed to the rain. ¡°I know some people hate rainy days, but days like this bring me peace. It''s strange to say that, but that¡­what¡¯s the word? That white noise, ambiance, that dimmer color palette? Sometimes, you need a little dimming, to appreciate the rest of the bright, bold colors of life. Or, fiery-haired elves and kitsunes that saunter into my shop, looking like they¡¯re woefully lacking on a companion for the evening,¡± She teased, and a few sharp teeth edged out. ¡°We do match, don¡¯t we?¡± Bonnie chuckled. ¡°Me, I wish I could appreciate the rain. I mean, I get wet, it¡¯s not fun.¡± ¡°Heh. I saw Bonnie take a swim one time, then when she got out, she did her witchy thing, and poof. She looked like a bottlebrush!¡± Fiona giggled. Bonnie growled playfully beside her. ¡°You threw me in the lake!¡± ¡°Because you have never experienced the joy of competitive swimming with me if I hadn¡¯t,¡± Fiona responded, pointing a thumb at her chest. Bonnie canted her head, a gleam in her eye. ¡°I¡¯m still faster. Bet ya didn¡¯t count on that one.¡± ¡°You have a tail! How am I supposed to beat that?¡± ¡°Get good?¡± Bonnie retorted with a toothy smile. ¡°Sheesh, you two are an iconic duo, you know that?¡± Darla commented before she leaned back, and watched the rain coming down. Fiona followed her gaze, she could see down the end of the road, a hint of the lake beyond the buildings, where they were on a low hill. ¡°Hey, guys, quick question. What happens if someone writes in their destined class? Without knowing it, beforehand?¡± It was a question that Fiona had no idea how to answer. Darla straightened up and looked surprised. ¡°You know something? I have no idea. I know that people have talked of destiny and being chosen by the walking gods of the world, but, you know, I didn¡¯t see too many of them below!¡± she laughed. ¡°Maybe they didn''t like the sharp rocks, or that their feet were getting burnt if they didn''t watch their step! One trick I love is putting my hand on the grill¨Cscares the rookies every time,¡± she chuckled with an evil grin and flexed her fingers lightly. ¡°So, you have no idea, either,¡± Fiona concluded. ¡°Bonnie?¡± But Bonnie was peering at Fiona, with a look of concern, before shaking her head. ¡°From all my learnings? I don¡¯t know. The odds of writing your destined class at random, seem pretty slim. Wish I could say I had more than speculation on this one, sorry.¡± ¡°If you¡¯d known you¡¯d be an artist, would you have stuck with it?¡± Fiona asked Darla. ¡°I think you had it right. I didn¡¯t pick the class, but I live the class. I like doing what I do, what my dad is so good at, making sure customers leave with a smile. Well, most of them. Even Jarl can be tested to have a slight smile,¡± she purred. ¡°Putting a smile on that guy¡¯s face is tough work, Fi. You make it look easy. Being an artist is this ability to express, to make people feel something.¡± ¡°Making Jarl feel all sappy? Yeah, he¡¯s a big softie. You just need to have the right kind of smile. I mean yours are shark teeth, but in that deadly cute way." ¡°Hah! No one¡¯s ever called me shark tooth! You know what, don¡¯t let that one spread, people will start calling me that. The nickname will never go away,¡± she said while trying to get her composure back, and Fiona lost hers for a few seconds, too. ¡°Sheesh, Fiona, I need more gals like you in my life.¡± But, it was Bonnie who changed the tempo, looking concerned. She¡¯d been giving her a look of puzzlement the entire time, now and then. As if she¡¯d been trying to figure something out. And now, she had her theory. ¡°Fiona, maybe this isn¡¯t the right time to bring it up, but¡­something has you worried. Like, worried, worried. Something shook you up today. In the six months I¡¯ve known you? This may be the most reserved I¡¯ve seen you. You¡¯ve been asking strange questions, too.¡± Darla perked up, too. ¡°Fiona, look, I get that it might be weird to be summoned, but, it¡¯s not unprecedented. It just might not always be convenient.¡± She let out a quiet breath. ¡°Look, um¡­I know this sounds weird, but¡­can you guys meet me at my apartment tonight? After you close Darla?¡± She nodded solemnly. ¡°One of those kinds of days, huh?¡± ¡°Yeah. Bonnie, at eight tonight?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll be there, Fi.¡± Her friend nodded and put a hand on hers gently. ¡°I don¡¯t know what has you shaken up beyond Barry, but¡ªyou don¡¯t have to hesitate to tell us, alright?¡± ¡°Alright. I¡¯ll see you guys then.¡± Vol. 1, Ch. 14: Heart To Heart To say the anxiety was building, was an understatement. Even Tucker sensed it, because he tried repeatedly to nestle down on Fiona¡¯s lap during the evening, and she just couldn¡¯t sit still. How can I bring this up, now? Wasn¡¯t it easier if they didn¡¯t know where I came from, and what happened to me? Can I even look them in the eye, and tell them that I lied about a few things, because I still don¡¯t know the full truth, myself? A knock at the door interrupted her thought process, and Tucker¡ªwho was using her whole lower body for his napping spot¡ªarched his back and hopped down. ¡°Well, guess it¡¯s time to break the ice,¡± she said with a moment of determination, rose up after brushing off a few errant cat hairs, and went to the door. When she opened the door, not only Darla and Bonnie were there, but Greg, too. ¡°Hey, um¡­¡± she awkwardly trailed off, unsure what to say. Ever the stoic, he tipped his head gently in Bonnie¡¯s direction. ¡°She told me something was really bothering you. Forgive the slight breach of confidentiality, but I saw you today, and I knew something was off, too,¡± he spoke softly. Bonnie wrung her hands anxiously beside him, but Fiona smiled faintly at the two of them. ¡°Greg, it¡¯s okay. I¡¯ve known you long enough that, maybe this is the time to share this one. And I¡¯ve kinda been burying it for a while, because¡­I didn¡¯t know what to do with it. Come on in.¡± she waved them inside, with Tucker purring and brushing up against Greg, who wore that look of the doomed on his face for a brief second, but Tucker didn¡¯t pounce onto him¡ªthat was, until he took a seat on the couch, and pinned him in place, kneading softly. ¡°Ow, Tucker, you¡¯re not a kitten, and you have razor blades for claws,¡± Greg muttered, but Tucker purred louder. Darla and Bonnie also sat down bookending him, while Fiona took the small armchair adjacent to the coffee table. She¡¯d set out a small incense of cinnamon¡ªher favorite scent¡ªwhere a faint wisp of smoke was barely visible. She¡¯d also set out a few cups of coffee, still steaming warm, and everyone took one¡ªthough Darla¡¯s hand emitted a soft glow, and the coffee picked up an additional scent of something sweet. ¡°Alright, so, what¡¯s bothering you, Fiona?¡± Bonnie was the first to talk, after glancing at the other two. ¡°How much do you guys know about Earth? I¡¯ve realized that I¡¯m not the only person from there, but¡­I¡¯ve never come across someone else in Cepalune who declared it outright,¡± she asked. ¡°Summons can come from a few pathways. Portal magic, summoners, and gods and goddesses occasionally pull individuals from the far corners of the universe,¡± Greg explained. ¡°I¡¯ve heard Earth mentioned a time or two, even read a few brief lessons on it. However, this is not my field of expertise.¡± ¡°I know that Earth has magic of its own. It¡¯s different, it has a deep history of mages and other wild stuff,¡± Bonnie chimed in, not even glancing at her small notebook in her hand. ¡°You were from there, originally?¡± ¡°Yeah. Earth was¡­not magical. Or, if it was, then no one spoke up and they kept it well hidden,¡± Fiona answered. She could feel her pulse quicken. Thinking about the end¡­it didn¡¯t bring back happy memories. It brought back the worst ones to the forefront. ¡°Girl, you gotta tell me more about this world! I¡¯ve never actually met a summoned! You¡¯d think someone would pay more attention to that fact! The fact that mages import people from all the corners of the universe. So, you were an elf there?¡± Bonnie asked. Fiona made a halting sound, and Bonnie raised a furry brow in response. ¡°You weren''t?¡± ¡°Nope. Weirdly, I woke up, buck naked, as an elf. Man, that sure made that farmer¡¯s day, till his wife beat him with a garden rake,¡± she laughed, and Bonnie made a contented sigh. ¡°You do make a splash everywhere, don¡¯t you, Fi." ¡°Not always on purpose," she admitted. Bonnie looked at her in curiosity. "What...did you look like, then? This might be the first time I heard about a summon being changed on the trip.¡± Fiona let out a soft sigh. ¡°I was¡­well, you see me now? Like, it¡¯s mostly me. But back then, I was¡­plain. Flat chested. Mousy brown hair. I still had green eyes, and a body that never toned out, even when I worked out at full tilt," Fiona answered. "I came into the world with literally nothing but knowledge and my name. And shapely long legs. Seriously, Bon-Bon, I have trouble keeping up with you when you go running.¡± Bonnie tilted her head back and let out a cackling laugh¨Cshe always did that when she got excited! ¡°Hah! Not many could keep up with me. Kitsune are built for speed, and magic. I have been doing enchantment work since I was eight. We also live three times as long as a human, and my granny? She''s like a hundred years old, and still looks young!¡± They continued the work while they chatted for a while, and Bonnie asked more about Earth. ¡°So, what was it like, on this world?¡± ¡°It was more¡­mundane. Mechanized. The automatons here, are a precursor to what our world had,¡± she explained. ¡°We built a world on science. You built a world on magic, Bonnie. I don¡¯t even know how to draw a parallel.¡± Thinking of what was, left her with a tone of melancholy. ¡°Where I lived, it wasn¡¯t that dissimilar to here. We had rolling hills, some smaller mountains nearby, and a beautiful lake. I love the Autumn, it¡¯s always my favorite season. A last gasp of beauty before the world slumbers through the winter. There was something fun about cozying up with a coffee, late at night during a fall evening, with a book in my old apartment. Just me.¡± ¡°You didn¡¯t¡­have anyone else?¡± Bonnie asked. Fiona shook her head. Not for long chunks of time, no, she thought silently. ¡°I had my shop. As much as I griped about the place I inherited from the lady that used to run it¡­it was my place. No, it was the community''s place to hang out.¡± ¡°What about family? A boyfriend?¡± ¡°I¡­¡± Fiona let out a breath, and set her tools down. ¡°I haven¡¯t slowed down to talk about these things, have I?¡± ¡°Well, you are now. That¡¯s a start,¡± Bonnie proposed thoughtfully. ¡°So, do you remember your summoning? I know the records indicate that not all summonses recall all the details.¡± Fiona took a deep breath, and clenched her leg with one hand. ¡°Bonnie¡­let¡¯s just say, I might be the last person you meet from Earth, anytime soon.¡± The silence of the room was palpable. Even Tucker stopped purring and trying to massage Greg, and peered at her, curious. ¡°Fiona, what happened?¡± Greg finally broke the tranquil spell. ¡°Earth got wrecked.¡± ¡°Wait, what?¡± Bonnie almost dropped her coffee mug, and Greg caught it before it could fall. ¡°What do you mean--¡± ¡°Bonnie¡­let her finish, first,¡± Darla interjected calmly, her golden eyes dimned. ¡°Go ahead, Fi.¡± Fiona closed her eyes. She saw the bus. She saw thirty people fleeing to safety. Her, grabbing her weapons and bailing out of the bus when she saw a losing battle. ¡°I¡¯m saying, Earth¡¯s gone. Monsters came up from the ground. They started destroying everything.¡± She hadn¡¯t wanted to give much thought to this, until Greg had zeroed in on her errant comment at the palace and she wished she¡¯d never said it. Because ever since then, that creeping, heart-freezing end never left her mind. She¡¯d tried to bury it down with heroics, zany antics, and being something she¡¯d always wanted to be: free to express herself. Now, she had to face it. ¡°About a day before the end¡­strange circles opened on the ground. No one knew what they were. Not until monsters from a horror film started coming through. The little ones were creeping atrocities of claws, tentacles, shaped like demonic dogs. The big ones¡­the big ones wrecked cities, and shrugged off harm from our biggest weapons. They came from everywhere. The oceans, remote areas¡­a few, right in the center of our cities. I was part of my country¡¯s volunteer military, and I had just self-destructed my life over the past year before that. So, I grabbed my gear and jumped right into evacuating civilians.¡± She cupped the mug of coffee in her hands, before taking a nervous sip. ¡°Yeah. That was me, geared up with every piece of equipment I could carry, finding myself guarding shuttle buses to get people out of the impact zone. The military was never prepared for a threat of this scale, popping up from what I presume are portals, right behind their borders. It was chaos. We also got reports of extraordinary individuals fighting and winning elsewhere, but I didn¡¯t know the truth because our communications were shattered.¡± She glanced at the anxious eyes of her friends, then back down at the mug in her hands, rubbing one hand along the side anxiously. ¡°I was on one of the last shuttle busses, keeping it defended. There was a big old monster in the form of a dragon¡ªor something like it, because this thing was utterly monstrous--and it, along with a horde of the smaller, nasty things, was chasing us. People I knew were on that bus, people I was close to. And someone I cared about.¡± If she said her name, she might break down in tears, right then. She chose not to. ¡°So, there I was, bailing out of a bus, and fighting a running battle through downtown with other military survivors. I was never a spectacular fighter until that day, when I killed my first living being. A demonic dog was gnawing on one of the soldiers, gulping down chunks of flesh like it was a buffet. You know those firearms that you see with the Adventurer¡¯s guild? We had those¡­but faster firing, deadlier, driven by technology. Let¡¯s just say that I didn¡¯t hesitate to start racking up a kill count faster than I smash slimes.¡± Bonnie tried to rise, but Greg gently put a hand on her leg and tilted his head with the slightest of motions. Her jaw trembling, she sat back down. Fiona took a calming breath. The end of this story wasn¡¯t that far away. ¡°I fought like a demon, defending every citizen of my city. The soldiers started to fall, but I didn¡¯t. I grabbed the weapons of the fallen and kept fighting. I knew if I didn¡¯t kill the big one tearing apart the city, it wouldn¡¯t stop. So, I did the most dangerous thing imaginable, and improvised, grabbed every explosive I had, and went into a building already slated for destruction.¡±If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. She could picture the claws, the blood, the twisted bodies. Her screams of defiance as she battled through the building, a desperate plan forming between her and her old commanding officer from the guard. They repurposed the placed demolition charges and hooked them up. They succeeded in that while the monster rampaged, and her old CO got into an APC, firing to get the creatures¡¯ attention, and drawing it toward their trap. She laid this out while the others listened, all their shocked expressions as she described the battle. One of the last things that stood out was that grim smile on her CO¡¯s face as the vehicle¡¯s weapon ran empty. The monster, leering at him. That polite nod as he looked back to her, just before the vehicle was overturned by a creature so massive, it had no parallel on Earth, its eyes wreathed in hatred. That split second, before he and the vehicle were crushed. He knew he¡¯d done his part to ensure the sacrifice was worth it, as she hit the trigger, and watched that destruction barreling down, debris and dust flying towards her position. She knew, from the second she got off the bus, she was dying that day But she wasn¡¯t dying without making them pay dearly for every second she was alive. ¡°I dropped a building on that monster. We hurt it badly. But not badly enough. And not without consequence. A piece of debris pierced through where I was hiding and injured me. Fatally.¡± Her hand instinctively went to her torso, her new body unmarked by the phantom injury. She¡¯d been pierced by a piece of rebar. She remembered sliding off, screaming, coughing on dust and destruction, and bleeding. ¡°I fought off more of those monsters. I ran through every weapon I had. The streets were covered in dead abominations before I gave out. Then, as I staggered there, trying to keep myself from bleeding out, the monster rose from the massive debris pile. It looked right at me, knowing I¡¯d caused it harm. It felt hopeless. Everything we¡¯d done, was for nothing.¡± Greg didn¡¯t stop Bonnie this time as she rose up, and knelt next to Fiona, a trickle of moisture in her eyes, and her fluffy tail drooping. She put one hand over Fiona¡¯s, who could feel her breath shaking slightly. ¡°I was down to my last weapon. I was dying, with a piece of construction metal sticking out of me, and I said to that sin against humanity, ¡®Til my last drop of blood leaves me, I¡¯ll protect my world.¡¯ And the strangest thing happened. It¡­it tilted its head. Like it knew what I was saying.¡± She glanced down, and finally, set the coffee cup aside. ¡°Then, it picked up an oil tanker truck that had been overturned in the destruction, as if I deserved special attention.¡± She saw it in slow motion. That last look of hatred in its eyes. Coiled muscle lifting and throwing thirty tons of metal and flammables like it was a child¡¯s toy, all its wrath aimed at her. She closed her eyes. ¡°Fiona Swiftheart died on a Lunesday defending her world, surrounded by dead monsters, and crushed to oblivion by a vengeful eldritch dragon who threw a tanker truck at her. I wasn¡¯t lying when I said a truck hit me. I just left the part out about how.¡± Her breath hitched, and she felt the trickle of burning at the corners of her eyes, the tears coming that she didn¡¯t want them to see. Bonnie hugged her tightly, her breath coming out in soft sobs. No one spoke for a moment. The only sound was her letting out a small anguish that was six months overdue, delayed by jumping into heroics, treasure hunting, fighting monsters, and every distraction she could find, trying to forget that day. The tears did come, all the same. Gushing tears reserved for funerals, or the happiest days of someone¡¯s life. She¡¯d been in such a whirlwind, that, reliving this was something she¡¯d tried to avoid for so long. ¡°I wish you¡¯d told us sooner,¡± Bonnie whispered so quietly, she barely picked it up, even with her elven ears. Another moment went by, while emotion poured out of her, and she gripped Bonnie firmly. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Bon-Bon. I didn¡¯t want to drop this burden on you guys. It¡¯s too much for anyone. I was happy with what I was doing, so I didn¡¯t have to sit down and think about why.¡± Tears eventually ran their course, and Darla handed her a cloth for her to dab her eyes, until he was sure that no more would come. ¡°Yeah. I might be a little messed up on the inside guys. I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°Fiona¡­you don¡¯t have to be sorry for this,¡± Greg offered softly, his chiseled expression now less statue-like, and softer, more caring. ¡°That¡­is a terrible thing to live with, and you won¡¯t have to live with it alone anymore. But your tale didn¡¯t end on Earth. Do you remember the exact moments after?¡± She shook her head, her voice hoarse. ¡°No, Greg, I don¡¯t. I don¡¯t know what happened to me. There was no summoner waiting for me when I woke up, buck naked in a cornfield, in a body that was both was and wasn¡¯t mine. No goddess congratulated me on a new life, and a chance to become the ultimate badass, or sent me on some quest to kill a demon lord.¡± Darla raised an eyebrow at that. ¡°Like, an actual, world-ending monster, not darklings, dear.¡± ¡°I¡¯m immensely relieved,¡± she replied dryly. Bonnie could read the mood, and gave Fiona a loving hug, her cheek resting on the nook of her shoulder. "Oh my gosh. Girl, I''ve known you since you got into town. You could have told me, Jake, Greg, we would have helped you. Now I understand why you act the way you do--you''ve been carrying this the whole time." Fiona, you¡¯ve been kind of an idiot, haven¡¯t you? She thought with a bit of vitriol. Well, better I realize it now, than never. She finally responded to Bonnie, who gave the softest hugs. And not on account of her fur, either. ¡°I know, Bonnie. I took a good long look at what happened to me, and I figured that life was over. This is why my cheery, bubbling attitude kind of took over. I knew if I gave too much thought to it, I''d have this grim reality check that everything I knew was gone,¡± she admitted. Bonnie had a tear drip down her cheek, and it wasn''t alone. "Now I get why you''re so dead-set on defending your guildmates and going at this with this fervor. You didn''t want to lose your world again, did you?" "Never again," she murmured. "You''ve got us, Fi. No one''s taking that away," she whispered. "Thanks, Bon-bon. That...that means a lot to me right now." She took a shaky breath. She had real friends here, people wouldn¡¯t bail out on her. ¡°Given this new information¡­¡± Greg trailed off, hands slackly at his side. ¡°This gives new context to many of your actions. I may have been unusually harsh.¡± ¡°That¡¯s on me, Greg. I didn¡¯t spell this all out at the beginning,¡± she replied softly. He pressed his lips together gently, shaking his head. He still felt bad about it. ¡°But¡­why now? Why not before?¡± Sharp as ever, Greg drove home the big question. ¡°It had something to do with today, didn¡¯t it?¡± "It did. You guys might want to sit down for this one. I didn¡¯t lay out all the details at Darla¡¯s place. Because I think it¡¯s related.¡± She went over the trip to the office for licensing and getting her merchant class¡ªand Bonnie went stiff as a board when she mentioned her class title, her tail on end. ¡°That class doesn¡¯t exist! I¡¯ve never heard of it!¡± ¡°Yeah. It did not help that I¡¯ve misunderstood the classes and marks until now. I have a lot to catch up on, Bonnie. So, some voiceless woman spoke to me, and asked me if I was¡­related to a whole bunch of mythic creatures and gods. I told them no. So, low behold¡­Merchant of Fortune stuck!¡± ¡°You¡­invented a class? On the spot?¡± Greg asked in a worried tone. ¡°Yep. When I came to, the Contract went up in flames. I don¡¯t know if that¡¯s a good sign or a bad sign, but I scared the crap out of the clerk at the office, who was very concerned about what it could mean,¡± she added. ¡°Guys, I don¡¯t know what it means. I don¡¯t know what the symbol of my class means, either.¡± ¡°Hang on. What does it look like?¡± Bonnie didn''t shy away and looked her right in the eyes. Fiona had to let go of her for a moment, to roll up her sleeve. Fiona felt a tingle as Bonnie looked down, eyes gazing at the winged heart. She traced the feathers gently with one claw¨Cwhich tickled, a little. Everyone gathered to examine it Bonnie spent a good long minute looking at it and looked puzzled. ¡°It¡¯s pretty. I¡¯ve never seen anything like it. Most people don¡¯t wear their literal heart on their sleeve, either¨C¡± ¡°I get it. Clarke said that not everyone shares their mark with others. But I trust you guys. I thought the whole class bit was a culture thing until I saw Clarke jab his finger with a quill. Maybe I was a little airheaded for the past six months. So, I got a lot to catch up on." ¡°Oh, boy,¡± Bonnie sighed. ¡°You just assumed that¡­well, you know now, at least. With you out in the field slaying monsters and not spending too much time in town, I can see why it wasn¡¯t readily apparent to us. And we just assumed you knew. That was my bad. And Greg, surprisingly.¡± ¡°I had my suspicions about her mannerisms and some of the phrases she used,¡± Greg pushed back lightly. ¡°Still, I didn¡¯t ask the question, except when Barry was extorting her.¡± ¡°You know what¡¯s terrifying, guys? Fiona was busy slaying monsters and beating up dragons without a class,¡± Darla noted observantly, looking proud. ¡°Guess you don¡¯t need magic when you¡¯ve got sheer willpower and luscious red locks.¡± Fiona huffed at that. ¡°I¡¯m just determined. Now, everyone has a mark, and a class tied to it. And powers, right? Clarke was saying everyones is unique to them.¡± Bonnie rolled up her sleeve and parted her fur on her wrist just enough so that she could see the image of a witch hat slowly fading into view, with intricate runes stitched into the fabric. Everyone leaned in to see it. ¡°They can be. More intricate, can mean more powerful, but there can be power in even the mundane, so don¡¯t take that to heart too quickly. Do you mind if I¡­sketch yours? I think it¡¯s worth looking at.¡± Fiona didn¡¯t hesitate to answer. ¡°Of course, I¡¯d like to know, too.¡± Bonnie took out her notepad and sketched it, the pen strokes smooth and fluid. ¡°Bonnie, if you¨C¡± ¡°Fiona, we¡¯ll help you. You don¡¯t even need to ask,¡± she said with a warm smile. ¡°Plus, you¡¯ve got my interest like nothing else I¡¯ve studied! I mean, uh, not studying you, but¨C¡± ¡°I¡¯ve been told kitsune could be forward, but boy, Bonnie, that was bold,¡± Fiona teased, and Bonnie had to stop from snickering too loudly. Greg turned aside looking boyishly awkward, and Darla¡¯s smile was too sharp for her liking. ¡°You know what I meant, Fi. Sheesh. I think you were secretly this exact opposite in your previous life,¡± Bonnie pointed out observantly. ¡°You know something, you¡¯re pretty close to the mark. I didn¡¯t get out much, I had a few friends, and my family, but it was a small circle. Despite the short-term struggle with Sir Lack-of-parties, I like it here! I have to work hard, but the payoff is immense, and I¡¯ve got you guys to hang out with!¡± she beamed enthusiastically. Bonnie shied away, looking bashful. ¡°Oh, now you¡¯re getting shy, you loveable vixen?¡± ¡°Maybe a little.¡± She glanced at Darla and Greg. ¡°Goes without saying, nobody says a word about this to anyone unless Fiona¡¯s okay with it? There¡¯s a lot to chew on here, a lot of mysteries I¡¯d like to solve.¡± ¡°I like the idea of having exclusive clientele¡ªI mean friends,¡± Darla purred, and corrected herself when everyone laughed. ¡°We still have pressing things about the shop to worry about, and it¡¯s not like the whole world knows about this,¡± Fiona assured her. ¡°But uh, we should probably not attract attention, yeah? King Lack-of-hugs doesn¡¯t need more ammunition to fling at me, given that he taxed me for a kingdom¡¯s ransom.¡± ¡°You know what? I can understand that one,¡± Bonnie said softly, and clicked her clawed fingers together loosely. ¡°Fi¡­look¡­you know you can trust us, right?¡± She thought about the times her trust had been broken, before. But this time had to be different. ¡°I do. Now, if any other really weird things happen to me, I¡¯m going to let you guys know.¡± ¡°Uh, Fiona¡­¡± Greg trailed off. ¡°I think you really should see someone about this¡­massive bag of trauma sitting in your history. I have never heard of a summon being yanked from certain death.¡± ¡°What about resurrection?¡± she asked. ¡°I do not know if there¡¯s conclusive proof that¡¯s possible, even with magic,¡± he sighed. ¡°Bonnie, I think we have some research to do. And a shop to get open, so Barry doesn¡¯t repossess her soul.¡± She gave him a dark look at the subtle hint. She slapped her forehead, and groaned. ¡°I just thought of something truly awful. We don¡¯t have any real employees besides ourselves! Greg can¡¯t work retail at full tilt, he doesn¡¯t have the chops for it! I need to get over this problem right away!¡± ¡°Girl, one problem at a time. With the grand opening, I think we can afford to do this one by ourselves so that the only cost we¡¯re spending on is just our time and effort. We can bring on employees, as we find out what capacity we¡¯ll need. So, take notes, and don¡¯t burn yourself out,¡± Bonnie suggested and pounded her hand into her cupped hand. ¡°Remember, anything you can apply business expenses to, you do it because it¡¯s like free money! Or, less money going to King Beardless. At least this problem is easy to solve, unlike the cosmic mystery we need to unravel.¡± Fiona sniggered at that, because even Bonnie was leaning into it now, and maybe she¡¯d be even more savage in her critique of that scheming king. ¡°We¡¯ve got this, guys. Your slightly crazy elf isn¡¯t gonna let you down.¡± Vol. 1, Ch. 15: The Art Of the Dragon--Er, Deal! ¡°Ah, everything is in order.¡± Fiona let out a sharp exhale of delight as she went through her list of items from Doug¡¯s collection Said list had been carefully crafted by Greg, who had caught her headed out the door and decided to tag along at the slightly shady secured warehouse, while they looked to stocking the store in the coming days. ¡°Look at all this stuff! An armoire of invincibility! An invisibility cloak that, quite frankly, is a little too easy to misplace! And look at that sword!¡± She beamed as she pointed to a runic sword that looked a little Nordic, with a massive hexagon-cut green gem embedded into the hilt. She swore it was getting noisy again, asking for a champion with a voiceless whisper. Where did the dragon get this one, anyway? ¡°I mean, look at this stuff, how it shines!¡± ¡°Yes, it''s quite a pile of inventory. And all of it is beyond the means of most people to afford,¡± Greg commented drolly as they paced around the large storage room, filled top to bottom with treasure and artifacts. ¡°Fiona, I worry there''s so much unrealized money here. I think King Barry knows you can''t possibly move it all in time. I believe he set you up to fail, and knew the dragon had no coin to pay this absurd tax rooted in a spiteful legislative history." ¡°So, the jerks plan was to put me into a position where I¡¯d, you know, die?¡± Greg bristled at this. ¡°If you died because of that, I think Rikkard would throw him off the roof of the palace. I suspect there¡¯s another angle he¡¯s playing. Any luck reaching King Greybeard?¡± ¡°Nope. Not a peep,¡± she growled. ¡°Dude, it¡¯s so sus! Someone must have blabbed about what happened. Anyway, not focused on that, but our solutions to beat that bowl-cut dweeb! Pay-as-you-go plans!¡± she declared with a fist pump. Greg looked unconvinced by this, and tapped his pen against his notes calmly. ¡°Okay. How does that work?¡± He pondered while they walked around and checked a small gold statue of the dragon. She noted it seemed a little vain. Doug probably wasted a ton of money on that one! She was, however, intrigued by the paintings, and other historical artifacts that formed a good chunk of the collection. Fiona paused a moment to run the idea by him. ¡°Well, see Greg, when you can''t pay all at once, you agree to pay off the amount owed in like, a year, or six months, or whatever! You set the term, you set an interest rate, and that person promises to make regular payments. It¡¯s a miniature loan! You make more money in the long run, and they can afford it right off the bat! Longer loans naturally get higher interest rates, because of the risk of loaning to some dude who could run off.¡± ¡°Following that hypothetical, what happens if they make a promise, buy it, then run with it?¡± Greg inquired aloud. Fiona pulled out the inert handle of her Bahn hammer, clicked it into shape, and grinned. ¡°Then it gets repossessed, of course!¡± Greg eyed this display of aggression, and she saw his lips slowly crease downward. ¡°What?¡± ¡°The weapon is for slaying monsters, not people, Fiona,¡± he rebuked before motioning a large scritch of a pen through something on the page. ¡°What if we just set it to ¡®humiliate¡¯ mode instead of¨C¡± ¡°Fiona, please discontinue this terrible idea.¡± He rubbed the bridge of his nose, as if this discussion pained him. She clicked the weapon back into its compact shape after relenting. ¡°Alright, how about a half-way idea, Fiona? For loans over a certain valuation, they must offer up collateral. If the loan terms aren¡¯t met, we take possession of the item, and the collateral as forfeiture of the agreed-to terms.¡± ¡°Yes, Greg, that was my next idea. I don¡¯t want someone driving off the lot, so to speak, and then screwing us on the bill. Plus, we can vet our clients,¡± she offered with a hand wave. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t loan to some guy who couldn¡¯t make a decent down payment, anyway. That¡¯s just a terrible practice in general.¡± ¡°Who are our clients, anyway? We¡¯ve established rich, affluent, eccentric, and a lot of other five gold coin words, but I¡¯m not hearing a sales pitch¨C¡± ¡°Adventurers,¡± she announced with a snap of her fingers. He leaned in, eyes alight with interest. ¡°Most of this stuff is beyond the means of commoners or middle class, even. But, there is one express route to fast fame and fast-burned fortune: adventuring. The guild has a lot of money, but a lot of expenditures for magical equipment, potions, and other consumables! And, in the long term, if people have loot they can¡¯t possibly use, we take it and buy it from them, so they don¡¯t have to deal with the hassle of selling it themselves. We take a cut of the profit. I mean eventually, I¡¯ll sell this dragon¡¯s whole hoard, and then what? I¡¯m not gonna sit in an empty building,¡± she shrugged. ¡°Plus, adventurers are cool and all, but a store is a commitment.¡± Greg considered this proposal and eventually nodded. ¡°It is another slice of the market. I like your approach, but keep in mind, most adventurers retire¨Cor are eaten¨Cbefore they accumulate vast sums of coins.¡± ¡°Yeah, Jake could easily send a bunch of his mid-tier guys here on a referral. Instant business! I¡¯ll probably cut a little discount for them, but I still need to pay off this albatross on my neck,¡± she added as she perused the boxes, and her face morphed into disgust once she opened one. ¡°Ew. Speaking of dead birds, I found one.¡± ¡°What is that¨Coh, that is quite untidy.¡± he inhaled sharply when she saw a fossilized bird in one of the boxes. But then he frowned and examined the contents more closely, his eyes brightening. ¡°Well, I¡¯ll be! That¡¯s the remnants of a phoenix! That¡¯s rare! Supposedly if you grind the bones and put them into a poultice, it can bring a person back from death. But, it has to be some kind of ¡®not entirely disintegrated¡¯ situation.¡± ¡°Resurrection, with strings attached?¡± She slammed the box closed, and Greg¡¯s notes fluttered from the abrupt breeze. ¡°Nah, I don¡¯t feel like playing with dead things for money just yet. Those wandering skeletons I found all over the place in dungeons weren''t fun company, either. They didn¡¯t have any humerus in their body.¡± She flashed a wink at him, and he just stood there, looking blankly at her. ¡°Humerus? Like the bone?¡± ¡°I believe that joke is dead now,¡± he stated with no emotion as she grabbed a few other smaller items, and stuffed them into the bag. She then peered into another crate, and pulled something she didn¡¯t recognize from earlier. ¡°Man, this dragon liked his riches. What is with this little golden egg thing?¡± She pondered as she held a gold-plated, scaly textured egg the size of a football up for viewing. It felt warm to the touch. ¡°Ooh, I wonder if this will hatch! Why¡¯d that dragon have an egg sitting in storage? Oh my gosh, did I just commit egg-napping?¡± She gasped. ¡°Fiona, that''s just a decoration, it''s not a real egg,¡± he sighed. Then, he peered closer. ¡°I mean, I''m pretty sure it''s not real.¡±If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. ¡°It feels pretty heavy. Eh, you know what, I''ll keep this one. The tax office put a goose egg on this one, which means it''s a freebie.¡± She snickered at the unintentional pun, and Greg was struggling to remain silent. She tucked it into her satchel for safekeeping, and proceeded to examine the rest. ¡°Alright, I can''t move all this stuff at once. What else do we have?¡± ¡°Gemstones are a moderately priced commodity, those we should move without difficulty. Mages always need them for raw spell components,¡± he suggested. She grabbed a pack of them, low to moderate cost, and tossed them into the dimensional bag. ¡°We can try a few of these exquisite armor sets to attract buyers too, maybe?¡± ¡°And some of the weapons and equipment. We need capital to keep the tax office off my back. Nothing like having someone breathe down your neck, while running a business. It takes all the fun out of it.¡± She pulled out a small whip that, once she flicked it outward like a bull whip, charged it with vibrant blue energy. ¡°Yes, the tried and true grappling beam! I¡¯m keeping this one. I may still have my shot at being Indra Janes!¡± she announced proudly. ¡°Fiona, you realize that you actually need to sell these items,¡± he said while tapping the notes impatiently. ¡°Nah, this might look expensive, but it isn¡¯t. A good find like this is a thousand gold, tops. Which is peanuts compared to the rest,¡± she countered while giving the item a reassuring pat. He raised an eyebrow at this assertion. ¡°How do you know that?¡± ¡°What, you thought I wasn¡¯t paying attention to my co-workers?¡± she asked slyly. ¡°I learned quickly what is high value, and what isn¡¯t. Stuff that¡¯s easy to carry and high value should come first. Big, bulky stuff is low-tier. Coins are ironically dead last, unless it¡¯s platinum coins, because those are lighter and worth way more than gold coins. Gold is heavy, man!¡± ¡°The gold equivalent certificates are quite nice, provided you find a bank within their arcane network. Plus it¡¯s nice to not have a huge weight on my hip,¡± Greg mused. He walked over an armor on the stand, which looked like rime frost continuously formed, and melted off the metal plating. ¡°Miss Swiftheart, a test of your business acumen. I recognize this type of armor, but pretend I¡¯m a buying customer.¡± She walked over to the armor stand and snapped a light into her fingers with a glamor that Bonnie had taught her. That small point of light shone on the innards of the armor, and she pointed out a small release inside the armband. ¡°Fast-release armor. If you press that button, the chest piece and the major components will snap off. A subtle but great feature if you need to get armor off in a hurry. This is a regular frost rime armor set, great against anything that wants to set you on fire, terrible if you want to go chill with a penguin.¡± ¡°Good. What else can you tell me, Miss Armor Enthusiast?¡± he inquired with a hint of a smirk. Greg could do smirks? She thought he hadn¡¯t done enough face-stretching sessions yet! ¡°Alright, advanced stuff. This set also has a rune that activates a chilling radial blast. The intensity is based on how much juice you put into it. The plating is well insulated, and the range of motion is nearly unencumbered, but my goodness, don¡¯t let someone get near you with a pike or other thrusting weapon!¡± She made a playful flourish with her inert weapon handle. ¡°Oh, and it¡¯s great for hot summer days, too. Walking around in plate armor is no fun for long distances, let me tell you. Oh, and this one will also give clarity of mind with the helmet attached. I thought that was in here, it must still be in a box.¡± ¡°And what is your asking price?¡± he asked. Fiona frowned, and thought of the strengths and weaknesses. ¡°Thirty thousand, five hundred. The plate is a little more susceptible to a piercing attack, something to do with the alloy. The rune is custom and specialized, which adds great value for anyone who can use magic but isn¡¯t a focused wizard or a mage by occupation. Add the helmet, you¡¯re looking at another four thousand, five hundred gold.¡± Greg peered at his notes, and made a couple of scribbles. ¡°I came up with thirty-seven thousand, two hundred gold. A delta of less than ten percent. Well done, but I think you undervalued the rune effect. These are not readily made. Even Bonnie would be challenged.¡± ¡°Ah, sly little vixen, she has been teaching you things,¡± Fiona stated with her hands on her hips and smirking. ¡°Alright then tough customer, fire away, round two!¡± ¡°Oh, let¡¯s see. That ornamental sword, there,¡± he mused after throwing a wayward finger at a few propped-up weapons in sheaths. She picked up the golden-plated sword and presented it to him. He set down his notes on a crate, and she presented her pitch. ¡°Orichalcum gold blade, mithril core. It¡¯s light, is effective against monsters with high levels of self-healing properties, and it enhances the user¡¯s speed and perception times when activated with their mana. The grip is textured, the enchantment work is clean, and the blade needs little maintenance, since the materials don¡¯t degrade or rust. The only flaw is, don¡¯t try to punch through armor with it¡ªit¡¯s too thin a cross section and not heavy enough. This is a great conditional weapon for your average adventurer, and training with it isn¡¯t too intensive. Yours, for the low asking price of five thousand, eight hundred gold.¡± He held the balance gently after she handed him the weapon, scabbard and all, and he took a few steps back, pulling the blade and giving it a few flourishes. She noted that his stance was¡­uncannily good. His footwork was a subtle showmanship of well-honed skill as he swung the blade lightly, thrusting the tip with minimal exertion. She¡¯d seen this technique taught to her by Jake, and some of the other new recruits. In battles with giant monsters, conservation of strength, and landing grievous blows with minimal energy spent, was key. Greg, were you an adventurer, before? He sheathed the weapon, and handed it to her gently, a faint glow of approval on his face. ¡°Very close to the mark. Six thousand gold. The balance work of the blade is excellent, even for such a specimen, hence the extra value. Excellent appraisal, Miss Swiftheart.¡± ¡°What can I say? When I was beating up giant monsters, I knew what I needed,¡± she stated with a flutter in her chest, and felt like the warehouse was all too quiet, all of a sudden. ¡°I wish I could use that to bring some ammo against Barry¡¯s rampant overvaluation of my items for his theft of my dignity, and snacks. But, I¡¯ll beat him eventually. He¡¯s my quest to conquer, now.¡± ¡°While he is the ruler for now¡ªI doubt it will be for long. You do have a level of enthusiasm that is endearing to many. Despite your eccentricities, Miss Swiftheart,¡± he added. She anxiously rubbed her cheek as he picked up his notebook again, and smoothed the wrinkles on his vest. ¡°Well, onto other tasks?¡± ¡°Yeah, staging and getting all the security wired up. Bonnie has some plans for that.¡± She grabbed one particularly plain idol made of brass, adorned with a large eagle and a particular crest emblazoned on the chest. ¡°Also, my little litmus test.¡± ¡°Say what now?¡± he faltered, and rubbed his hand to his chin. ¡°That looks¡­quite plain. In a pile of very other expensive things. I am quite at a loss at why you want to bring that¡­quite frankly, cheap item to a store that will be offering premium products.¡± ¡°Just trust me on this one,¡± she insisted with a polite smile. He shrugged lightly, and scribbled in his notes. ¡°Alright, let¡¯s finish up. We¡¯ve got plenty of work ahead of us, and I do think we¡¯ll need an announcement to garner an opening crowd.¡± ¡°Jake¡¯s party is the prime place to make the announcement,¡± she said with a grin and clapped her hands together. ¡°Everyone rich, affluent, or in need of this stuff will be there, and I am gonna owe Jake double favors for this.¡± ¡°By my count, I think that scale is still tipped quite heavily in your favor,¡± he commented before closing his notebook. ¡°I¡¯ve logged inventory, let¡¯s get going.¡± One last closing thought before they locked up, was the fluidity of Greg¡¯s motions when he held that sword. He was no stranger to the life of adventure or needing to defend himself. But, why had he never talked about himself? She¡¯d have to peel the rind off of this tasty fruit, first. She realized something else, as she hefted the bag filled with items. It felt almost too light, even given the compressed dimensional space. "Greg, remind me. What uh...what kind of powers do merchants get again? I haven¡¯t noticed anything unusual yet¡ªaside from knowing how much I have in my pocketbook at any given time. But I also had that power from just mental math,¡± she shrugged. "Mostly enhanced appraisal skills, and some acumen when it comes to negotiation and social grace. It''s considered at best, a social class. Why?" He peered at her in curiosity. "I...never mind. Let''s go." Vol. 1, Ch. 16: Arent You A Little Short For A Ruffian? ¡°Fiona, how much is in that bag?¡± Greg asked a short time later, on their way back to the shop to set up the displays. She wasn¡¯t keen on lingering on this side street, with a literal fortune in her nearly unbreakable dimensional bag. ¡°Well, a lot of it is gold, or little gold baubles. Actually, you know what, it¡¯s kinda light,¡± she commented. She also rubbed at the small gold bangle she¡¯d had for a long time, from one of her first treasure dives. She had found a forgotten ruin just north of the kingdom, on the eastern side of the lake. She set the bag down, and it made an extremely loud clang from all the metal and items stored inside. The bangle didn¡¯t seem to have¡­any weight to it. ¡°Greg, remind me. This thing¡¯s gold, right?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t have an inventory for every item of yours, but¡­I think that is,¡± he affirmed. He peered closer at the bauble. ¡°Why?¡± She took it off, and then grabbed it with her other hand, and frowned. ¡°You know what¡¯s weird? It doesn¡¯t weigh a thing.¡± Greg stopped, and examined it closer. ¡°Did you pick up some strange magic trick from Bonnie? I know women love to not be encumbered by their jewelry¨C¡± ¡°No, Greg, I didn¡¯t. Here,¡± she replied before she offered the bangle to him. He raised an eyebrow at this, wearing his too-serious face, but nonetheless took the offered item, and gave it a heft with his hand, lifting it up and down. ¡°Well?¡± ¡°Are you just that strong? It¡¯s pretty heavy, actually,¡± he stated with an air of observance. ¡°Well, okay, maybe this is a weird manifestation of the mark. Better endurance to lug loot.¡± ¡°That should be a prime skill for a thief. Especially a snack thief,¡± she grinned. Greg however, was peering at the bangle. Then, the bag. ¡°How heavy is that?¡± His curiosity was triggered, now. ¡°The bag? Eh, it¡¯s not that heavy,¡± she shrugged. Greg, handed her back her bangle, and attempted to lift it. He grabbed the pullstring, and attempted to pull it up¨Cbut staggered and almost fell over. Her ears tilted out sideways at this spectacle. ¡°Uh, Greg, we really have to work on your string bean physical profile.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not weak!¡± he huffed, with an air of irritation that she¡¯d rarely heard from him. ¡°I do calisthenics. I row in the morning on the lake. When it¡¯s frozen, I skate. I¡¯m lean, but not lacking strength. This is absurdly heavy, Fiona.¡± ¡°Damn, you row? Sign me up for that, I used to be on a rowing crew. Man that brings me back,¡± she added with a sigh. ¡°Oh right, Earth¡¯s toast.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t actually know what happened, Fiona,¡± he assured her. ¡°If mages and other magical creatures existed on Earth¡ªand Bonnie¡¯s texts indicated they do¡ªthen hope is not lost. Getting back there¡­that¡¯s a tougher challenge. Now, back to this puzzle. You put mostly gold items in here. ¡°Yeah, and a few of those brick gold. I mean I¡¯d melt it down into coins, but, guess what? That¡¯s an actual crime King Lack-of-hugs can nail me on,¡± she added with a roll of her eyes. Greg tried again to lift it, but he might as well have been trying to lift a building. ¡°Greg, lift with your legs, don¡¯t strain your back. I have to teach you guys some ergonomics in this magical candy land!¡± she complained with a resigned sigh. After a few more seconds, Greg was panting, and sat back on his haunches. ¡°I can¡¯t lift that.¡± He stared at her intensely for a few seconds. ¡°How can you lift that?¡± ¡°Greg, I work out,¡± she replied nonchalantly. Then, a thought came across her head¨Cwhy was her bangle practically weightless? ¡°String-bean, dig through the bag, pick up one of the bouillon bars. Give me an estimate on how much it weighs.¡± ¡°I do accounting and other math. I better know how much it weighs,¡± he grumbled, before undoing the drawstring and peering inside, and frowning. ¡°Didn¡¯t Bonnie tell you to not stuff this thing? I don¡¯t think you want this stuff violently ejected out of here if you overfill it.¡± ¡°Oh man, that sounds like a really improvised bomb. Death by hoarding. Not very practical, either.¡± She kept peering around in the street, where they were by the corner of a building. There didn¡¯t seem to be anyone around at the moment¨Cthen again, it was getting late, and people were already home from work. She saw Greg pull out a bar, shining bright gold, and her skin tickled at the sight of it. ¡°Seriously, Barry¡¯s a dick. You know how many gold coins that¡¯s probably worth, but we can¡¯t convert it without going through eight million hoops at the banks?¡± ¡°From what I¡¯ve gathered through history¨Cand other summons accounts,¡± he added with emphasis, ¡°Is that Cepalune is richer in certain ore deposits, compared to other worlds. Gold, chiefly. Other elements are also plentiful, or more readily accessible, plus various magical ores.¡± ¡°We had a lot of iron. Some stuff was pretty rare though. Wait, hang on, this is bothering me. How many other worlds worth of species are here?¡± she asked. ¡°Um¡­several documented,¡± he replied. She slapped her forehead, the idea dawning on her. ¡°Oh my gods! I¡¯m not in a magical world! I¡¯m in a world with aliens who have made tech so advanced, it looks like magic! Clarke made me jab myself with nanomachines, which explains the pain, the hangover, the weird visions, now I have tech powers! Damn it, Arthur C. Clarke was right, all along!¡± Greg looked at her warily. ¡°I don¡¯t think your theory is going to find any purchase, Fiona. That sounds insane.¡± ¡°Either way, aliens! I¡¯m on a planet filled with aliens! Some cute aliens, who I wouldn¡¯t mind taking to a caf¨¦, joining a book club with them, maybe even getting cozy¡ª¡± ¡°We¡¯re getting off track,¡± he replied with a roll of his eyes. ¡°We¡¯re all Folk species. Strangely we¡¯re quite convergent in evolutionary traits. And¡­¡± he trailed off and tried to cough to hide his last rumination. ¡°¡­Compatible.¡±If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. ¡°Greg, you have no idea how much you made my day,¡± she beamed, an evil smile crossing her face. ¡°This is the moment where an enlightened Fiona became a risk to all of Cepalune, and they¡¯ll curse my name through history as a result,¡± he sighed. ¡°Unfortunately, there is a lot of bad record keeping for summonings and portals. Currently, summonings are outlawed in the unified kingdoms, due to the principle of consent. It is traumatizing to pull someone away from their entire way of life for something as asinine as ¡®saving a princess¡¯ or ¡®battling a giant monster.¡± Greg sounded nonplussed at this. "Of course, if some goddess decided to do it, there is not much we can do about that. It has been known to happen." ¡°This has happened a lot, huh?¡± she asked with a bit of annoyance. She still didn¡¯t have a fundamental clue about who pulled her here. And she was all but sure that someone had. Her body was similar, but not the same. She had the same green eyes and the same facial features from what she remembered on Earth. ¡°So, posing a theory, why am I an elf, now?¡± she asked after a moment. "Not a clue. Resurrection would in theory just restore your body. Not¡­change it. This leads me to the notion that you were not crushed but pulled away at the last second. Or, worst case, someone transplanted your soul into someone." Greg hefted the gold up and down. ¡°Standard weight. Ten kilos. Give or take a few milligrams.¡± He tossed the small but heavy bar to her¨C But catching it felt like it weighed nothing. It had almost no weight in the palm of her hand, and her ears went vertical at this. He looked surprised. ¡°Fiona, how much does that weigh¨C¡± ¡°Barely anything.¡± She tossed it upwards lightly¨Cand it went far higher than she expected. When her hand caught it, she felt the gentlest of taps on her palm, and she stared at the shiny golden bar. ¡°Is this a trick bar?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think so. There¡¯s no magical item stamp on it.¡± This spurred another idea, and she looked down to her hip. She reached out to her gold pouch, and pulled out a gold coin. ¡°Dragons or settlers?¡± she asked with confidence. ¡°Um¡­okay, I¡¯ll entertain this. Dragons,¡± he finally chose. She flicked the coin into the air with her thumb¡­ ¡­and promptly lost sight of the coin. ¡°Oh, shindigs,¡± she breathed. Greg stared skyward, then at her, then back up at the sky. ¡°Um¡­where did it go?¡± ¡°Dunno. Hang on. Two Mississippi, three Mississippi¡­¡± She slowly counted off, and the coin eventually came back into view, and fell like a meteor, many seconds later. She caught it without any effort, and stared at the coin. Greg stared at her. ¡°Greg, do you know calculus?¡± ¡°I know what calculus is,¡± he strained, and regained his composure. ¡°How long was that in the air?¡± ¡°About¡­a good twenty seconds? How high did it..." She did the math, and came out to an astounding number. He frowned, and his eyes widened. "It went up almost half a kilometer. not accounting for air resistance. Good gods woman, how strong are you?¡± he asked in a complete breakdown in composure, his expression morphing into utter bewilderment. ¡°Fiona, are you even human? Or, is there some magic that I don¡¯t know about? I¡¯ve never heard of this one, and I know a lot.¡± ¡°Greg, I know a couple of cantrips from Bonnie, but so does everybody!¡± she protested. ¡°This is¡­different. Hang on. Greg, give me something else. Not made of gold, though.¡± After a moment, he handed her what looked to be a pair of metal gauntlets that were tinged green. ¡°Adamantine armor. Part of a set. Probably not as good as the one you¡¯ve got at home, though, but quite corrosion resistant.¡± He handed them to her, and while she noticed they did have mass, they didn¡¯t seem quite as heavy as she expected. ¡°So, anything?¡± ¡°Feels lighter than it should. But has actual weight to it. Gold weighs nothing!¡± Her eyes went wide at the conclusion, and she grinned madly. ¡°Oh, this is just awesome! I can carry all the loot in the world, and never get tired! Fiona, the loot ninja!¡± ¡°I would like to point out, that you can only carry so much gold in those bags. They have physical limits,¡± Greg pointed out, but was still alight with this revelation. ¡°Well, I guess ¡®Merchant of Fortune¡¯ is indeed, a class.¡± While they¡¯d been talking, she heard something in the connecting alleyway that sounded like lurking and sneaking. She made no sound, but tilted her head toward it, mouthing ¡®trouble¡¯ ¡°So, yeah, we should go, Greg,¡± she pressed. Greg narrowed his eyes and glanced casually out of the corner of his eye. ¡°Yes. Let¡¯s take the shortcut.¡± He was on alert, and put on a pair of gloves from his coat pocket¨Cones suited for very ungentlemanly warfare. They proceeded with the bag in tow¨Cand the sound of two pairs of scuffing boots could be heard behind her. ¡°Your call. Bloodied or¨C¡± ¡°Humiliated? I love the way you think, Greg,¡± she whispered with a smile. That pair of shoes could be heard behind her¨Cnot worn, fresh-cut leather. Something new. Something pricey, too. She could also hear someone lurking just ahead, by an alcove in the street where housing blocks intersected. No one was outside, and the arcane lights were flickering on. But this side street was dimly lit. One man in a dark cloak and wearing a black porcelain mask stepped out of the alcove. She peered back, and two more people were behind them¨Ca woman with bright red hair, and a white-furred catfolk with dark ear markings. The man in front of them put a hand up¨Ca man with purple hair. ¡°Oh, look at who wandered into our alleyway! Glad you could make it through. It¡¯s a little rough this way. You look like you could use an escort, little lady!¡± ¡°Yeah. An ¡®escort¡¯," the catfolk purred, with a twitch of his whiskers and bright blue eyes. ¡°We uh, provide a specialty service.¡± ¡°Let me guess. It''s gonna cost me some gold?¡± she asked aloud, and grabbed her coin purse. Greg stood tense by her side. ¡°Okay, guys, thanks for the offer, but you really should be going. It¡¯s late. The kids are all supposed to be in bed by sundown! We¡¯ve got this.¡± ¡°I¡¯m afraid that it is quite dangerous. These services are a premium offer,¡± the man said with a calm voice. ¡°Alright, buddy, I get it, you need to be a hustler these days to make a well-earned coin. But seriously, I need the name of your company, so I can file an invoice for travel expenses,¡± she added, while Greg played to the beat and clicked out a pen. And she figured, it was his mightiest weapon. ¡°You guys are, uh¡­¡± ¡°Rock,¡± the man answered. ¡°Ket,¡± the woman answered with a leering smile. ¡°You idiots, they know our names!¡± the catfolk hissed. ¡°It¡¯s not like knowing our names is going to do much,¡± the man said, hands out to signify peace. She could hear the woman drawing a blade, and the catfolk tensed their claws. ¡°Well, I¡¯ll make it simple for you two: your gold, or your lives, are the price of admission.¡± Fiona laughed mockingly as she sized up the targets with a glance over her shoulder. ¡°Buddy, don¡¯t you know who I am?¡± ¡°Just some dumb elf waving around fancy things,¡± the man retorted, and her ears flattened at that¨Cthis guy was so rude just now! ¡°We don¡¯t care who you are. The worms don¡¯t, either.¡± ¡°Seems like the guards of the town are a little slow on the response time, the second Barry took the throne,¡± Greg stated with remarkable restraint. His gloves creaked with the tension of fury in his hands, and he still held his pen against his paper. ¡°Fi, take the ones in the back?¡± ¡°Nah, let¡¯s just¡­give them our gold,¡± she said with a smirk as she fingered the gold coins between her fingers, after reaching into the still open coin purse. The gold felt reassuring and warm against her skin. She hefted the coin purse into a throwing motion in her other hand, surprising the man at the reaction, and she gave him a lecherous smile. ¡°Here you go, buddy. Time to flash some cash.¡± Vol. 1, Ch. 17: But I Didn’t Get A Flashy Transformation Scene! Fiona took great pleasure in the fact that these guys made it easy, where the attackers could only come at them from effectively two directions. So, dealing with Rock should be easy, when she tossed the coin purse with the gentlest of tosses--and it screamed at him like an unkind golden missile. He didn¡¯t realize much this was going to hurt, because the coin impacted like a fist of the north star. He was sent reeling into the wall a few meters away, cracking the brownstone bricks. He collapsed on the ground, groaning. Note to self, dial back on the throws, or I could put a hole through those guys! Either way, that impact was going to leave a bruise in the morning. The second and third guy jumped into the fray with a burst of magical speed¨Cthese guys were not so dum-dums after all, and taking out the leader clearly didn''t crush morale. She grappled with the catfolk, wishing she had the biggest water gun of all time to put this little furball in his place! Greg grappled with the other assailant, using fisticuffs to punch, lurched to the side of a particularly nasty short sword, and dodged the following strike with grace. Greg wasn¡¯t super strong, but he was limber and quickly disarmed the woman before smacking her into the nearby wall, dazing her. He brought a Jackie Chan level of grace to the fight, grabbed a trash lid from a nearby refuse pile, and bashed her with it, the lid making a distinct gong sound. And, he even had time to adjust his tie, too! Ties were not meant for street fighting at all, no matter how cool they looked. The catfolk tried to slash at her, and she lurched to the right, forcing his hand wide and running his claws against the wall in an ear-grating sound of nails on a brickboard. Everyone winced, as did the cat, who now was properly declawed. She landed a solid kick to give herself space, then shifted the coins to her palm. ¡°Hey, I think I overpaid for these services! Nah you know what, this is my money-back guarantee!¡± She flung the gold coins like tiny little shuriken, hitting the catfolk in the chest, the nose, his jaw, and another one in the torso, doubling him over and causing him to wheeze, on the ground and at her utter mercy. ¡°Greg, how are you doing over there?¡± she called out with enthusiasm. ¡°The situation is handled,¡± he said stiffly, before he glared accusingly at a torn collar. ¡°Though, my attire has suffered some consequence.¡± All three assailants were down, and Fiona leaned down at the man grabbing his chest, looking nonplussed. ¡°Look Rock, your services are kinda sucky. Don¡¯t they teach you that crime doesn¡¯t pay?¡± ¡°Oh, got a feisty one, do we?¡± he glared at her before he whistled with his fingers. ¡°Okay boys, we got ourselves one elf who can¡¯t shut her trap, so let¡¯s up the difficulty, shall we?¡± Half a dozen more assailants came in through a second-floor balcony like ninjas. But she was in a fantasy world, why were ninjas here? They still stood no chance against her. She grabbed some of the coins from her now-busted purse, and eyed them all with disgust. ¡°Look, creeps, this is getting awkward. Like the door-to-door used car salesman who won''t take ''no'' for an answer. Go with peace, young folk! Or you know, get stomped on by me. Your call.¡± ¡°Um¡­is that¡­¡± one young man, no older than his mid-teens gasped, and pointed at her. ¡°You idiots! That¡¯s the hero of Fiefdala! She and the Adventurer¡¯s Guild wiped the floor against Douglas the Red! Hell with this, I¡¯m going home, and going back to school!¡± ¡°Uh¨CI uh¨CI forgot a very important appointment!¡± another girl stammered before darting back the same way the first kid came. Thus began a deluge of excuses ranging from ¡®It was a dare, they made me do it!¡¯ to someone leaving their automaton running. She knew the result: the only three willing to continue were the ones picking themselves off the ground, now standing shoulder to shoulder. ¡°Ket, let¡¯s just kill her,¡± the catfolk snarled. He had several coin-sized welts forming on his face, and he rubbed at his nose. ¡°Fellas, please. I beat up dragons for fun,¡± Fiona yawned. ¡°The only thing more deadly than a dragon around these parts is the tax rates around here, that¡¯s the real killer!¡± ¡°Ah, forget it, let¡¯s rush her! She can¡¯t take all three of us!¡± Rock snarled, and all of them drew their weapons again. Greg grabbed his notebook and scratched something into the paper in a quick flourish. To her amazement, the paper fluttered and then started twisting and growing, like a giant serpent of pulped wood. It quickly wound around the offenders and tethered them together, and they all shouted and tried to cut at the paper. When they grabbed it, they all winced and screamed in pain. ¡°Oh, will you look at that? Paper cuts across the board,¡± Greg mused almost playfully. Fiona tried to not laugh, but it was too funny, and she broke down and pointed at them and cackled, while they were utterly constricted. The paper snake wrapped tighter, and they lost their grip on their weapons, all strained together. ¡°Wanna let me do the honors, Greg?¡± she asked sweetly. ¡°I¡¯ll aim high, so they don¡¯t bounce into a building.¡± ¡°I would normally suggest the town guard,¡± Greg pushed back. Meanwhile, Fiona grabbed the bag of equipment and loot intended for the store, and hefted it onto her back. ¡°Oh, ladies and gents, please, don¡¯t ever let us catch you again. A watchman squad will be picking you up from your ill-timed swim in about¡­oh, five minutes,¡± he added as he tapped something on his arcane relay with his free hand. ¡°You may proceed, Fiona.¡± She grabbed a few coins off the ground, along with the busted purse, and stashed them away in the bag, and only held onto a few. ¡°Well fellas, I¡¯m gonna have to decline your prior offer. I don¡¯t like telemarketers, door-to-door salesmen, or promotions promising me fame and fortune if I donate to a really shady website. Don¡¯t worry about the fare on this flight, this one¡¯s for free,¡± she added with a polite smile. She took the spare gold coins, and wrapped them in a ball of paper that wound around them, trailing to the paper bindings. Greg then ripped the trailing page from his notebook, as they all watched Fiona wind up in horror. ¡°Uh, what swim?¡± the catfolk asked nervously. ¡°Oh, the upcoming one,¡± she added with a manic grin. ¡°Looks like team rocket¡¯s blasting off again!¡± She flung the bundled coins sky-high, arching over the street toward the lake to the north of them. The coins flew with incredible speed, and a split second later, the trio was sent screaming skyward, dragged into a trajectory over the streets of Fiefdala. The screams soon grew too distant to hear¨Cor, maybe they had to catch their breath to continue screaming? "I must comment, Fiona, that the mundane toss of a coin, is indeed super effective," Greg quipped. Fiona dusted herself off and let out a sigh of delight. ¡°Well, that was fun. I hope I don¡¯t miss the lake with that toss.¡±Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road. ¡°Fiona¡­we should probably go talk at the apartment this evening about this discovery,¡± Greg said, finally letting out a labored breath and looking fatigued. ¡°Because whatever your merchant class is, is not normal.¡± ¡°Are you sure it¡¯s not some kind of beastly magical strength? I work out, Greg,¡± she proposed. Greg gave her the sullen look, to signify he wasn¡¯t putting up with deflections this time. ¡°Alright, call Bonnie on the way. We¡¯ll talk at my place.¡±
Several seconds later¡­ The trio of criminals saw they were flying in about the most awful way to fly: without wings. Rock was praying to every god and goddess that they land in the water, and not on land. His prayers were mercifully answered with a graceful dunking into a deep part of the lake¨Cwhich was freezing this time of year. His head broke the surface a few seconds later, along with his associates, and he wailed¨Che had papercuts everywhere! This was both painful and humiliating! ¡°''Easy mark'', you said. ''We¡¯ll take this one to the bank'', you said!¡± The catfolk yowled, and was trying to get out of the water frantically. ¡°I¡¯m soaking wet, I have papercuts, and this water smells like fish,¡± he hissed, a look of utter disgust crossing his face. ¡°Uh, what do we tell the cops? Because I see them coming already,¡± Ket groaned, and she pointed to the shore, where the town guard were hustling in, drawn by the spectacle of three people flying through the air. ¡°Well, we tell them that we¡¯re very, very sorry, and that we will do community service, and be model citizens after this. Because I don¡¯t have a death wish, ever crossing paths with the Hero of Fiefdala ever again.¡± Rock sighed, and wrung the water out of his clothes. The town watch were not happy to see them, and he put up his hands in surrender. ¡°We got a call about someone running an ¡®extortion¡¯ service. That you three?¡± One of the watch members queried while folding their arms, and looking cross. ¡°We uh¡­ disagreed on a business transaction,¡± Rock said with a sigh. ¡°I want my legal counsel, by the way.¡± ¡°Sure thing. As soon as you no longer smell like fish,¡± a second watchman replied with a chuckle, and broke out the cuffs. ¡°Sheesh, how did you three end up taking a swim, anyway?¡± ¡°A crazy elf chick and a suave-dressed man beat us up, tied us up, and flung us at insane speeds while tethered to a bundle of coins that the elf heaved with ungodly strength?¡± Ket proposed. ¡°I think they¡¯re lying,¡± the first town watchman sighed. ¡°This is Cepalune, Rick. It ain''t the strangest thing to hold true,¡± the second watchman countered, and cuffed them all. ¡°Ew. Smelling this bad is almost punishment enough for you three.¡± ¡°It¡¯s never coming out of my fur!¡± the catfolk wailed, and indeed, did look like a drowned cat. ¡°Damn you, crazy hot elf chick!¡±
Later, at Fiona¡¯s apartment¡­ Greg was mildly impressed. Fiona could sense it even if he wore the hardest of emotional expressions, after she laid what they had figured out about the magic of her mark. Bonnie was all bright eyes and bushy-tailed¡ªquite literally, in her case. Fiona almost snerked at the pun from her train of thought. ¡°Bonnie, she can lift heavy metals and gold like they weigh either nothing or almost nothing.¡± He let out a frustrated exhale, before pacing back and forth. ¡°What precedent is there? Gravity magic? Some kind of transmutation of the gold?¡± ¡°Oh, I have no idea, but I find it fascinating,¡± Bonnie responded with a cackling laugh. She really did lean into the witch vibe, even though she was an enchantress who made runes for days on every material imaginable. ¡°Well, I don¡¯t know who you were in contact with when you were passed out in your impromptu paper fort at the license office, but damn if the results aren¡¯t impressive!¡± ¡°Question: do all the summons get zany powers?¡± Fiona asked nervously. ¡°Strangely, no. They get a random class when they show up, with no fanfare or anything. Though, they tend to manifest as something aligning with their skills and personality, in general.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t believe you guys never mentioned summons before this week,¡± Fiona added, puffing an errant hair out of her face. Her hair just could not be contained, no matter how hard she tried. Greg shuffled uneasily. ¡°Primarily, because they¡¯re not common. But, they do happen. I should have explained this sooner. I¡¯ll take a knock on the head on that front, because you were being¡­stubborn.¡± It was a rare concession from Greg, one that tempered her next response. ¡°Not anymore. I want to know who brought me here. And why. I feel like they put me smack dab right where I was needed, right before Douglas the Red started wrecking stuff.¡± She ran her fingers across her temples, rubbing gently. ¡°You guys think that was related, too?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think so,¡± Greg countered. ¡°Though, I do question the history. Douglas was a business dragon of considerable repute before the recent events. Something about it still strikes me as odd. Now, Bonnie, since we¡¯re all on the same page, I believe we can trust Jake on this one, to keep this discussion and our queries confidential. Do you agree?" "I''ve always trusted Jake," Bonnie replied sharply, while Fiona nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, we can let him in on this one." "Glad we''re in alignment. I find that information like this, working its way to Barrimeth Greybeard, would not be favorable to Fiona¡¯s well-being and standing. Especially, now that I know precisely why she is so determined to stay.¡± ¡°That¡¯s his full name?¡± Fiona snerked at this. ¡°Damn, Rikkard, you put a giant bully magnet on your kid with that name! No wonder he turned out rotten!" ¡°It is the wolven word for ¡®resolute¡¯, actually,¡± Greg corrected her. She stopped laughing, if only because Greg treated it with more respect than she would. ¡°I don¡¯t share any love for our Regent King, given his use of a law clearly intended to legally harass and extort someone that the King viewed as an adversary two hundred years ago. And, using the dragon¡¯s hoard as a technical definition of historical treasure, to apply the tax.¡± ¡°And, I bet he knew this, because he worked in the tax office,¡± Fiona concluded. ¡°So, he knew how to screw us. This was pre-planned!¡± ¡°Now that I think about it, this explains your fervor at him initially beyond a rational respone. Not just your anger at being utterly betrayed by the head of state, but that he threatened to take away your entire world,¡± Greg deduced, his expression of chiseled marble softening and looking more human. ¡°And you already lost that once.¡± Fiona gazed at Greg for a good long second, realizing that had to be hard for him to say. She nodded after a few seconds, and let out a shaky sigh. ¡°Greg, I¡¯m just a woman who got thrust to the other side of the cosmos, and barely came out of it with my sanity in one piece. I might be able to smack around giant monsters like nobody¡¯s business, and make a sale on just about anything. But, I am still very much a human being.¡± ¡°Elven,¡± Bonnie corrected. She kept doing that gaze, looking her up and down. ¡°Someone must have been watching out for you. It¡¯s the only conclusion I can make. Twice, now.¡± ¡°Zero for ten, would never recommend transmigration again. But, why me?¡± ¡°Well¡­the gods and goddesses that we know of have been prone to recruiting remarkable individuals from time to time. Gaia, Goddess of combat and martial discipline, is one. Venuu¡¯ri, god of love and mischief, has been known to recruit people to help¡­uh¡­¡± ¡°Get busy?¡± Fiona suggested with a raised eyebrow, while Bonnie snickered beside her. ¡°Greg, let¡¯s be real, gods and goddesses didn¡¯t exist in my world. Though, given everything I¡¯ve seen in the past six months, I''m pretty sure that I¡¯d believe anything is possible, by this point.¡± Then, she went through the thought process like Greg would. Logically. ¡°I was brought back from death. A possible hidden mission from some jacked-up goddess. A vengeful strength against monsters bigger than me. I have a secret class identity? I have weird powers over gold? What¡¯s that add up to?¡± she pondered these, and then, it hit her. It was utterly absurd. But, it only added up to one thing. She jumped for joy and shrilled gleefully. ¡°I¡¯m a magical girl, baby! With trauma packed in, for extra goodness!¡± ¡°What¡¯s a ¡®magical girl¡¯ exactly?¡± Greg asked, ever the square. She gave him a dismissive wave. ¡°Ah, it''s an Earth culture thing, you wouldn¡¯t understand just yet. Ah hell yes, evil taxman, you¡¯ve barked up the wrong tree this time!¡± Fiona roared in triumph, and pumped her fist in the air, while Bonnie laughed. ¡°I think we should just let her roll with this for a bit, Greg,¡± she said, while holding her muzzle from laughing too hard. Greg rolled his eyes in response. ¡°Yes, just like we should ¡®roll¡¯ with some of Fiona¡¯s other insane ideas.¡± ¡°You love me, Greg. I make money, and good friends,¡± Fiona assured him with a flashy smile and a reassuring arm around his shoulder. ¡°Love hurts,¡± he grunted. ¡°It is a bleeding spectacle of pain upon my soul.¡± ¡°Bah, cheer up, we¡¯ll be fine from now on. Man, I should see what else this superpower does¨C¡± ¡°Fiona, we should probably test this very discreetly,¡± Bonnie cautioned. ¡°From what you told me, gold weighs nothing to you, and you can fling it to low Cepalune orbit. That could be pretty dangerous, for the record.¡± Fiona stared blankly at Bonnie, and then a grin emerged. ¡°You know, I don¡¯t think anyone would believe it was me, if I flung a chunk of gold up, and it came smack down through the roof of the palace, and wrecked Beardless¡¯s cushy throne¨C¡± ¡°No, Fiona,¡± Bonnie and Greg groaned in unison. She pouted only a little at this instant shut-down of a rather cool idea. Vol. 1, Ch. 18: I Can Dance On The Head Of A Pin, As Well! It took another day of renovation work, but the store was completed, and everything was staged. Fiona was carefree in the number of hugs, girly shrills, and glittery-eyed doe faces she made as she surveyed the hard work invested in the storefront, now showing some glitz and glamor that had been lacking early in the process. Jake got extra hugs, because he was awesome. And fuzzy. Which probably paled to the fuzzies she felt in her body, seeing all this effort that went into getting her out of a bind. ¡°Yes! We have done it, Bonnie! It¡¯s time to get out the word that we¡¯re about to have our grand opening!¡± she announced to the world, her hands on her hips in a dramatic pose. ¡°Please don¡¯t put your feet on the display tables,¡± Greg grunted. She quickly removed her foot, and then wiped an errant bit of dust off with a cloth, to make it shine. ¡°Alright ladies, I think we¡¯re set. Jacob, we¡¯re in your debt¨C¡± ¡°Gregory, you have your own battle to fight right now, and trust me, I would have done this for you guys, even if Fiona didn¡¯t ask. I know that little red-haired upstart doesn¡¯t like asking for help if she can avoid it, and most of the time, she doesn¡¯t need it,¡± Jake assured him, and gave a massive paw shake to Greg. The workers had all packed up and headed out the front door, chatting merrily about the event at Jake¡¯s place tomorrow night. He had mentioned sending extra invitations, and he had more than enough room. ¡°Fi, can we talk a minute, before you head out?¡± ¡°Oh! Yeah uh, sure. Guys, see you back at McFly¡¯s this evening?¡± she called out, and Bonnie nodded with a flash of her tail, and Greg doing that monk-like bow. Man, getting a smile out of Greg is like waiting for a blue moon! I gotta get him to work on that! She thought to herself. She pivoted and turned to Jake, who smoothed his scalp fur down into something presentable. He might look like a wild beast on occasion, but his professionalism would counter that thought in a second. She heard the door rattle close behind her, and Jake¡¯s expression had gone softer, a little more rounded by his eyes, and he glanced around as if searching for something. But a few seconds later, his attention is back on her. ¡°Fi, this shouldn¡¯t be your burden. We all helped carry that reclaimed loot back from the dragon¡¯s stash. I don¡¯t know why you got stuck with the bill on this one.¡± ¡°Well, you know me. I¡¯ve never let someone knock me down and out, without me trying to sweep their leg, getting back up and ready for another round.¡± Her words seemed to come with more resistance, and not at her breakneck rate of speaking like she usually did. ¡°Besides, I think once Greybeard gets back, he¡¯s going to have some unkind words with his son¡ª¡± ¡°Fiona. This curse could kill you.¡± His fur bristled. ¡°Don¡¯t treat it lightly.¡± ¡°Why? I¡¯m never giving Barry the satisfaction that he thinks he can do whatever he wants to me¡ª¡± ¡°Fiona,¡± Jake said with a bit of edge to his tone. ¡°I know you got some stuff on your plate you don¡¯t tell me about. I found you six months ago begging for a job, never told me where you came from, or any other details. But people do care about you. I¡¯d pay this obscene tax right now if I could. That¡¯s why I¡¯m trying to get people lined up at your door to make purchases, anyone and everyone I can. Percy has come up with money, or he¡¯s screwed. Same thing with Mika, Abigail, Brock¡­¡± ¡°You never told me what happened before I got back to town.¡± ¡°He dumped the hero tax on them, and unlike you, they were not brave enough to say no, and force his hand,¡± Jake uttered, his muzzle gritted tightly. ¡°That¡¯s the long and short of it. I had to calm everyone down, so they didn¡¯t storm the palace. That¡­was not a pleasant discussion. This was after Greybeard himself was leaning on us to help him.¡± Fiona let out a huff of annoyance. ¡°Jake, seriously, the kobolds were more adorable than they were deadly! Now, those nasty beast things they were riding, yeah, they had to go! They ate one of my boots! Luckily my foot was not in said boot when that happened, and he got smacked into the stratosphere with my old Bahn hammer here! The name never seemed so appropriate,¡± she added with a twirl of the inert handle. ¡°Real talk though, Jake, no one¡¯s going to replace you guys. We¡¯ve done a ton of work, with very little fanfare that the royalty don¡¯t notice. But the rest of the citizens do.¡± ¡°Nah, Greybeard knows the score. He has told me in private, more than a few times.¡± He rubbed at his mane and gave a toothy smirk with his canine muzzle. ¡°You are coming to the party tomorrow, right? I mean, it¡¯s kind of in your honor.¡± ¡°I helped, but I didn¡¯t win a whole war by myself. Heck, I¡¯m hoping by the end of this, I can send some cash your way.¡± ¡°I¡¯d appreciate that, but first? Fiona, don¡¯t step on Barry¡¯s toes, I worry he can do worse to you. I think he¡¯s up to something skeevy. I¡¯ve heard rumors he was an okay human being, but got thrown out of the treasury for something that wasn¡¯t discussed in public, then was very quiet in the tax office. This is the part I don¡¯t get, Queen Celes used to give all her kids love and attention. Even Dave, with his lackadaisical attitude and half-finished mage degree, is quite the charmer, by any measure.¡± Fiona raised an eyebrow at this. ¡°Interesting word choice, Jake.¡± ¡°You¡¯re a charmer too, Fiona. You¡¯re a wild fey girl, with the way you skip around, chasing around even wilder ideas that should never work. But they do,¡± he laughed with a deep-throated laugh. She felt a burning rush across her face, was she blushing, in front of him? There was no time for that! She was a bit disappointed that she was going to be lacking a plus one, but, maybe Greg or Bonnie wouldn¡¯t mind? "I...might have to tone down some of those wild ideas. If I''m going to make this place work, wild won''t always be the answer. Because if I screw up, Bonnie and Greg get pulled down, too. And I don''t want that." It was a moment of reflection that made her realize, she¡¯d failed once, already.This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source. She didn''t want a repeat encounter. Jake cleared his throat before she could focus down on the errant thought. ¡°You have a level head, when you need it, Fi. Don''t forget that.¡± ¡°I won¡¯t, Jake. And¡­thank you. Jake, you¡¯re the first person in this world that took a gamble on me,¡± she admitted. He raised an ear at that. ¡°You know, being from another world and all.¡± ¡°Why are fun ones from the beyond the stars?¡± Jake asked with a belly-aching laugh, before they headed out the door and she locked up behind her. ¡°Alright, we¡¯ll see you tomorrow, Fi! Dress like you wanna dazzle, alright?¡± ¡°Oh, dazzling? It¡¯s my middle name,¡± she replied with a flash in her eyes. She had just the outfit in mind for this kind of event. And it would dazzle.
Fiona looked at the dress and wrinkled her nose. ¡°Tucker, this used to fit me. Or it did, three months ago. I haven¡¯t been slacking in the diet department. Even snacks haven¡¯t done that.¡± She frowned and realized the problem wasn¡¯t excessive snacks. It was the fact she swore she was a little taller than she used to be. And her chest, while quite average compared to Bonnie¡¯s generous gift of a genetic dice roll, wasn¡¯t lacking. She flexed her arms and realized the muscle mass was a little more notable. Elves aren¡¯t supposed to get buff. Sheesh. All that work slaying bloodthirsty orcs, and beating up monsters must have done my body some good. Her option ¡®A¡¯ didn¡¯t fit her anymore, and if she tried to put it on, she would likely need to be holding her breath the whole time, so it didn¡¯t split a seam. That did not seem like a great way to spend a gala with all her friends tonight. Tucker batted at the bright blue slip of a dress, then promptly curled up on it. She glared at the cat accusingly, and Tucker pretended to go to sleep. ¡°Really, now? C¡¯mon cat, you can find a cozier spot than that to rest,¡± she grumbled but made no effort to move him. He then sprawled out, and stretched his legs with a loud yawn. ¡°Alright, I have one more dress. It¡¯s a little more¡­uh¡­Bonnie¡¯s style.¡± She dared a dive into the depths of the closet, past the armor stands and toward the back. Then, she stood there, and put a hand to her chin, cogitating on the racecar dress. The one she hadn¡¯t dared to wear, before. Tucker joined her and rubbed against her calf, meowing softly. He, too, gave the dress a contemplative look She exhaled like she¡¯d been holding her breath too long. ¡°Yep, Tucker, that one. I think it¡¯ll fit me, it was a tiny bit loose on me before. I mean, I could also get Bonnie or a seamstress to custom tailor it for me. But in the absence of time, I think it¡¯s the one.¡± It was also a bit more flirty than usual for her, with a wide open back. There was also one other features. The neckline wasn¡¯t a notch. It was a plunge down the middle. She looked down and pictured it on herself, and realized there would be almost no room to hide anything. Fortune favors the bold? Man, that¡¯s a pun and a half, coming from me. She stood there, putting a hand to her chin, and working up the nerve to conclude that this might be the time to show off. She was not backing down. Hell with it. I died fighting an eldritch lizard god, but I won¡¯t let fear stop me in this life. This will end in disaster, or one hell of a fun night. She still pondered the all too recent question: why her? What if someone brought me back because I dared to stand defiant in a no-win scenario? She narrowed her eyes, then grabbed the fire-red dress off the rack, and got to work on being the sizzling star of this party. It was a bit of an adjustment. It hugged curves she was not cozy with how close they fitted. It did take a few minutes to get the dress on, but with a little bit of maneuvering, she looked down at the sleeves and noticed something odd¨Cthe dress fit perfectly after a few seconds, with no creasing or bulging at the joints. When she looked at it, the fabric seemed to stretch and squeeze where it needed to, and she smiled wildly. This is why the dress cost as much as it did, it wasn¡¯t the fashion appearance, there was magic weaved into the very fabric of the material! She pondered for a second, could it adjust to be a little less¡­sporty? She tried to picture it with her mind. It was that, or uttering out keywords and magical sigils, and that could be either useless or dangerous. Much to her relief, when she focused on the revealing plunge down her front, the fabric slowly merged itself in real-time, with more left to the imagination for any onlookers. But the basic shape and premise of the dress was unchanged. She glanced at the gold embroidered sleeves and the accommodating skirt before sheheaded over to her dresser by the bed, where she kept a few critical make-up items. She got to work to add just that little bit of extra flair. Tucker sat on the edge of the bed, tail flicking gently back and forth, as he made a low purring sound. ¡°Tucker, do you approve? I mean I normally don¡¯t go all out, but this¡­this feels like an occasion for it,¡± she announced as she pursed her lips together with just a bit of cherry-red accent. The transformation was done. Now, the million-dollar question was, dress shoes? Or, something a little more practical? She did have a pair of dress shoes that fit the bill, and were darkly colored--not fancy, but practical. They went quite well to match the set. And no heels to break an ankle in! That was a relief. A knock at the door got her attention. Judging by the gentle rap, it was Bonnie¨Cshe always was so timid with knocking on a door, even given her bold approach to most other things. ¡°Coming! Just about wrapped up!¡± Fiona called out, before grabbing a hairbrush. The finishing touch was a quick combing of her hair, and letting it flow loose¨Cit bounced naturally, and strangely, she didn¡¯t have to do much maintenance on it. She pushed back from the small mirror and opened the door. Bonnie was there, stunning-looking, and her bright red fur seemed to glow . Her grass green dress was a modest ordeal from her, with an open backing, and room for her poofy tail, too. Bonnie gasped when she saw Fiona at the doorway; a hand went to her muzzle, with fingerless sleeves going from her claws to just past her elbow. ¡°Uh¡­wow.¡± She must have been awed at seeing Fiona all dressed up like this, looking all cute, and daring, in this race car red version of a dress. It was probably one of her riskier investments in fashion, with the gold embroidery almost glowing. ¡°So uh, how do I look?¡± Fiona asked anxiously. Bonnie finally recovered from the spectacle and flashed a foxy smile. ¡°Hey, have you seen a redheaded, zany chick somewhere around here, that answers to Fiona?¡± she answered after a second, and her eyes lit up in delight. ¡°She might have lost some square dude who got dressed for the occasion. Greg, get over here, check this out! I think someone stole my favorite long-eared companion.¡± He stepped around the frame and blinked, looking in awe. ¡°Goodness, Miss Swiftheart. I¡¯d like my heart to not be so swift right now,¡± he quipped. Fiona laughed as she steadied him with a firm grip on his shoulder. He was dressed in a proper dress shirt and jacket, with dark trousers that matched the dark-colored jacket. ¡°You know something, Greg? You¡¯re alright. Now, let¡¯s go make our big debut!¡± Vol. 1, Ch. 19: Glitz, Glamour, And Eccentrics ¡°Greg, stop staring. She¡¯s gonna catch on fire, with you catching glances of the fiery vixen brighter red than my fur,¡± Bonnie teased from the other side of the carriage. Upon departing the apartment, they¡¯d hired a driver to get them to Adventurer¡¯s Guild. It was within walking distance, but the fare was relatively cheap. Fiona played along and sent a leering smile toward Greg, who sat cross-legged and was trying to focus on his notes, rather than paying attention to her. ¡°I¡¯m not staring. My eyes are strained, from the sheer red in that dress,¡± he retorted ¡°Not even counting her hair.¡± ¡°Are you saying I¡¯m too much to handle?¡± she asked with a smirk. ¡°I think you are too much for any one person to handle,¡± he commented dryly. The carriage bobbed lightly along the street, and Fiona noticed a few others headed to the guild hall. The main draw was the large building they used on occasion for events like this. Fiona gazed at the twilight sky with the indigo colors giving way to a near-black sky, with pinpricks of light. A pink moon was up above, and the slightly larger white moon starting to rise past the horizon. She struggled to remember the names: Luna, and Palena, she recalled. Luna at least sounded familiar, from Earth. Bonnie waved to get her attention, and smiled. ¡°Greg won¡¯t say it, but he¡¯s right, it¡¯s glamorous, dear. It suits you.¡± ¡°I mean, it¡¯s not that glamorous¨C¡± But then, Bonnie leaned in closer, brow furrowed, and her eyes lit up with excitement as she traced a sleeve¨Cthe gold embroidered thread, specifically. ¡°Girl, who did you steal that from? I recognize the enchantment work! That¡¯s seamstress Melanie! She does all sorts of high-end work, how¡¯d you get one of her dresses?¡± Bonnie asked while leaning in. ¡°It¡¯s protected against tearing, staining, poor hygiene, and most importantly, spills from snacks.¡± Fiona narrowed her eyes and gave that kitsune troublemaker a good glare, even as she shot her a smug look. ¡°I¡¯m careful with snacks.¡± ¡°With a willow bough like you, I don¡¯t know how you hide those snacks. You must have the metabolism of a hummingbird,¡± Bonnie grinned. ¡°Try not to raid all the snacks, please? I would love some of the stuffed crawdads if there¡¯s any left.¡± ¡°But they¡¯re soooo good! If I¡¯m not eating them, I¡¯m doing the world a disservice!¡± Fiona asserted and brushed her hair behind her ear again. ¡°And those fancy sausage sandwiches! I call them in advance, they¡¯re mine! All mine!¡± ¡°Bonnie, are you allowed to¡­I don¡¯t know, magic away certain food items, so that others may have a fair shot at them?¡± Greg asked with a hint of ire. ¡°Sure. Buy me dinner, and I¡¯ll steal whatever snacks you need,¡± Bonnie teased. It was telling that Greg cleared his throat just then, and tried to hide his face from her by pretending to look out the window. Bonnie focused her gaze back on Fiona. ¡°Alright, where¡¯d you get this one, though?¡± ¡°A thrift store called Jaycees! I don¡¯t think even the lady at the place knew what she had! Neither did I, until the dress adjusted on me automatically. It was also quite a bit more flirtatious and bold. Too bold, even for me,¡± Fiona laughed, and Bonnie leaned in, with a wily smile. ¡°The neckline would have given Greg a nosebleed.¡± ¡°Death by exsanguination? Bad way to go,¡± Bonnie proposed with a flash of a foxy smile. ¡°That doesn¡¯t happen,¡± he retorted, even as he tried not to laugh. Bonnie still looked amazed. ¡°Fiona it¡¯s amazing, and I recognize the name of the shop! It¡¯s a little mom and dad place,¡± she stated after snapping her fingers. ¡°Sometimes, I think you are blessed with fortune, Fiona!¡± ¡°I mean, it was there. Everyone else saw it, no one bought it. The granny that ran the place, Nami? She just dropped the price another ten percent to entice me. I couldn''t pass it up!¡¯¡± Fiona beamed. They were crossing the stone bridge over the Therla River that meandered through the city¨Cseveral canals could be seen connecting to varying points, since it made shipping bulk far easier, and the moons reflected in the wake of the gentle current. ¡°So, here I am!¡± ¡°Goodness, Fiona, always putting on a show?¡± Greg commented with a slight smirk. ¡°Do try to control yourself, and not attract unwanted attention.¡± ¡°What? The Adventurer¡¯s Guild is my guys! And telling me not to mingle, is like telling water to not be wet! Or, are you telling me from a professional standpoint?¡± ¡°From a professional standpoint,¡± Greg offered, with a gently extended hand. ¡°This is a gathering of clientele that could help us alleviate our current crisis. Or, they know people who do. I know that you have a particular attitude that may be endearing to many. But some people are, well¡­¡± ¡°Unfunny, stuck-up, snobby, rich beyond comprehension?¡± she asked with a twitch of her ears. Greg cleared his throat. ¡°More refined. It¡¯s not an insult, dear. Your education is not lacking, having known you this long. There is a certain dialect and mannerisms the nobles are known for,¡± he finished. He glanced out the window of the carriage and smiled. ¡°We¡¯re almost there. The main hall is quite memorable, isn¡¯t it?¡±If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. Fiona peered out the window and couldn¡¯t help but smile wildly. This place had been a home when the apartment wasn¡¯t. The grounds consisted of two and three-story buildings set up like a university campus, in the city¡¯s heart. The white stone buildings, wooden trusses, and small military-style barracks were the draw, and even now, arcane lights graced several walking paths. A few recruits of the guild were doing night training, hustling along with trainers geared in light armor in the field. They were presumably going through maneuvers, testing against training dummies, and firing off magical spells. They were always busy, preparing against the next great danger. But, they also served as protective detail, resource scouting, and a slew of other activities that few other guilds could manage. Given their training, they served a unique niche. Fiona gazed at the three-story, stained glass window main hall with steel beam reinforcements, and the entryway was adorned with white stone pillars that spoke of greatness within. A small statue of famous adventurers¨Cthe first, that had come to the country¡¯s defense stood in front, like a small memorial. There was a wizard with a pointed hat, a mage with flowing robes and alchemical gear, a healer with a symbol that even now glowed faintly held in their hand, and two mighty warriors posed together, their grim determination etched into history. ¡°Gonna stare longer, Fiona?¡± Bonnie teased. ¡°It¡¯s not like you haven¡¯t been here before.¡± ¡°Hey, before I got Granny¡¯s apartment, this was home! I swear, Jake always brought me snacks when the mess hall ran out. That was so nice of him!¡± She opened the carriage window and waved a hand lazily in the breeze. ¡°I have a lot of good memories of this place. When I wasn¡¯t beating up goblins, dancing with spiders, vaulting over big, nasty, mean monsters, and giving them a broadside with my hammer, I was here!¡± ¡°I am grateful for the lack of action on that front,¡± Greg demurred. A moment later, they disembarked from the carriage and Greg gave a small tip to the driver with the casual cap and a crooked smile, who waved them off and went to pick up more arrivals. Fiona skipped along the pale gray slabs, where people were milling about by the front hall entrance. One man in light armor was checking invitations before waving people in. Jake was there too, dressed in a black suit and a tie¨CFiona almost giggled, it was strange seeing him so formally dressed up. Someone had to account for all the bulky fur¨Cand well-toned muscles, too. Jake waved them over, and she skipped along, the red dress flowing like fire. ¡°Fi, Greg, Bon-bon, you made it!¡± Jake announced and nudged the guard aside, who smiled politely. ¡°Welcome to the party! We have snacks, and I set aside a few for you¨C¡± ¡°Oh my gosh, you are the best!¡± Fiona announced as she pounced and hugged him¨Che made a funny strained sound when she did that; she didn¡¯t hug him that hard! ¡°I haven¡¯t eaten since morning, I was busy getting ready!¡± She spotted a server bringing something that looked like shrimp, and she broke her grip just long enough to snag an appetizer and downed it in one go. It tasted like shrimp scampi, with a dose of spice, and she waved her hand in front of her face while Jake chuckled. ¡°I am amazed you ate that in one bite, those are a little¡­spicy.¡± ¡°Nonsense, it¡¯s as spicy as a summer wind!¡± she countered. ¡°Have you got time to lead us around, and mingle?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll tell you what, I¡¯ll catch up with you in a bit. I must be the representative of the guild to greet the VIP¡¯s coming in tonight.¡± Jake nodded to a new gathering of people just arriving down the bush-lined path, looking glitzy and sleek. ¡°Fi, I¡¯d like to introduce you to Madam Vicona Taragot, she runs the mercantile guild for the northern half of the city.¡± Fiona turned to see a young woman with platinum hair and ocean-blue eyes wearing an equally blue dress. Said fabric seemed to flow like water, and hugged all the curves in all the right places. Her hair was braided in a simple pleat and little golden threads were weaved in, and she was¡­here solo?! That surprised her more. Fiona gasped and leaned in. ¡°My goodness, a pleasure to meet you, and I must say, I love the hair, it¡¯s stunning! What a way to bring art to fashion!¡± The woman blinked and smiled politely, before extending a hand to greet her. ¡°Oh listen to me gab, I¡¯m Fiona Swiftheart.¡± ¡°A pleasure¨Cwait, you¡¯re the one who stopped Douglas the Red! Jacob was telling me about a certain fiery-haired elven that pulled that off! And a dress to match the hair!¡± she said in a bout of flattery. ¡°Call me Fi,¡± Fiona suggested with a polite smile. ¡°We took care of that problem, and I decided to try something new: business. Adventuring is fun, but it¡¯s a lot of work! Of the paper variety, too,¡± she added, and Jake shrugged before nodding softly beside her. ¡°Anyway, we should talk, but I need to go visit some friends!¡± ¡°Indeed, Miss Swiftheart. I heard from Jacob that you pulled together a business plan in record time, and have been working day and night in this effort. I look forward to hearing more about this,¡± Vicona mused before turning to Jake. ¡°The place looks lovely by the way, Jacob. I see you¡¯ve been putting the recruits to work.¡± ¡°We try. What better way to get them an after-adventuring job, than by preparing them for it, while they¡¯re learning the ropes? I¡¯ll see you inside, Fi¨Coh, there she goes.¡± Fiona was already bounding inside with Bonnie and Greg, because she could hear the commotion in the brightly lit center room. Those familiar deep brown doors were open¨Cdoors that could hold back even a dragon. She practically danced inside and took in the massive space, now filled with people, tables, and more. The arcane chandeliers set to an ambient glow of white and gold and the black and white tile floor had been brought to a fine polish. Tables had been rolled out to accommodate one end of the hall. Around them, carefully woven tapestries hung on the white brick walls, with a few color accents marking old victories and famous adventurers. Pillars lined both lengths of the long hall, and a second floor had people milling about, talking excitedly. The vaulted ceiling above her gave an impression of vast space, and she pressed her hands together. This was a place that still felt like home. ¡°C¡¯mon, Fiona, it¡¯s not like it''s been ages since you were here,¡± Bonnie teased. ¡°If it isn''t an inspiring wonder every time I come in, it¡¯s not doing its job!¡± she countered with a slow spin around to take in the sights. ¡°We usually didn¡¯t have this many people around. Or food teasing me, because it¡¯s way over there!¡± she called out. Food and other refreshments were on the far end, already being handed out for distribution by several people in white shirts and dark jackets, bustling about hurriedly while people occasionally took a sampling. ¡°Let¡¯s go eat, and then, mingle! I¡¯ve got clients to accost, and victories to toss into King Raspberries¡¯ face, like a freshly baked pie!¡± ¡°What a tragic end for the pie,¡± Greg grunted. ¡°Well, there she goes. Rest in peace, food.¡± She was already in motion, grabbing what looked like small dumplings filled with river crab filling, well seasoned and hot to the touch. And some fruit arrangement of apples and grapes? That had to join the plate, too! She hummed merrily as she took a sampling of Fiefdala¡¯s finest. She would have to work hard tonight, and she couldn¡¯t work on an empty stomach! Vol. 1, Ch. 20: Who Needs A Business Card? With snacks downed and refreshments in hand, Fiona got to work as Greg and Bonnie headed off to mingle with some of the other guests. Greg seemed to have a plan of his own, and she told him to signal her when whatever strategy he was planning paid out. In the meantime, she had people to hang out with, including two of her favorites who happened to be mingling¨Cwait¨C She stared and opened her mouth to gape, eyes wide in disbelief. Nick Mizar, a sleek and suited-up avian of black feathers, blue eyes, that luxurious black and green feather mane, and well-trimmed clawed hands was talking at a nearby table. He was neatly dressed in a light white jacket and slightly darker pants, with white bindings around his clawed feet. Nick never did anything formal! He was as carefree as they came when he wasn¡¯t on the job. He was always making jokes¨Cusually bad bird jokes, as she tried to suppress a laugh at that thought¨Cand could always be found having a good time with the rest of the guildmates. But what drew her attention even more, was the person he was talking to. Next to him was one of her other besties, Cita Deimos, their sneaky loot ninja and mage. She was a human with black hair, and light blue eyes, and looking all pretty and cute. She was draped in a dark dress that trailed lightly behind her, with a modest opening in the back, leaving much to the imagination in the front. Her face was slim and angular, her nose small and pronounced but her lips were round and full. Very kissable lips that she wouldn''t mind giving an exploration, at home, based on a few unsubtle things that wisp of a woman had mentioned. Like preferring cozy hangouts on rainy days, or hanging out with girlfriends, and the way she held hands and blushed at the slightest graze¨C And these two were hanging out, with Nick edging in and being all flirty? Her, not even turning the slightest shade of red? Fiona smiled; she had to know what was up with this. Nick spotted her with a flash of enthusiasm and waved her over. ¡°Fiona! Glad you could make it!¡± he called out over the room, and she wrapped her hands around him in a gentle hug and wasted no space by pulling in Cita as well. ¡°Aw, getting cozy, you crazy red-haired berserker?¡± ¡°Nah, berserking isn¡¯t my thing! I do magic! And swing things hard. Cita darling, you look ravishing!¡± Cita did more than cling a little and blushed before adjusting her hair, and the three of them gathered by one of the tables, with Fiona leaning in and nibbling on one of the appetizers¨Csomeone made twice-baked tubers, and she didn''t have anyone to thank? ¡°Anyway, you guys breezed back into town fast! I saw Jake on the way in, I¡¯m still looking for a couple of others. How have you guys been?¡± ¡°Fi, we¡¯re doing great! We missed you, Jake said you¡¯ve been busy all week setting up some kind of business. Did that big bad dragon scare you out of adventuring?¡± Cita teased while leaning in all cozy-like. Fiona let out a grunt. ¡°That oversized lizard was small-time! The understudy king has more scales and teeth than Doug ever did. Long story, I¡¯d rather party now than talk about it. Me having a fun time, pisses him off,¡± she announced with a flourish and a shake of her shoulders. The dress sizzled in that same motion. "We heard the story," Nick grunted. "I heard about it from Jake. You know you can ask for help on this one." "I appreciate it, Nick, I do. I¡¯ll do everything I can to make sure that pasty faced creep doesn¡¯t see a dime, from a legal standpoint. At least, until Greybeard comes storming back home and finds out what his son did.¡± Fiona grabbed a glass of champagne, and took a sip¨Cit was delightfully refreshing. ¡°Sooo, when did you two find a nest together?¡± she added with an emerging smile. ¡°Oh, you noticed? I thought I was the one with the eagle eyes,¡± Nick said in a pointed dose of humor, and Cita wrapped one arm gently around his. ¡°I mean we¡¯ve hung out forever, and we had mutual friends that weren¡¯t eaten by monsters, and it''s just¡­¡± ¡°Happened by natural occurrence,¡± Cita added with a wink, and preened a feather back into position on his nape. ¡°Ah dearie, we figured we¡¯d give it a try! I saw that gape from a mile away Fiona. Don¡¯t think I didn¡¯t notice,¡± she added with a flash of mischief. ¡°Strong, bold, flirty, whatever! I know what I like, Cita. You two are as cute as a button,¡± she added with a twirl of her hair in her fingers as she looked at the two of them dreamily. ¡°Now, before this becomes another kind of party that I might be intrigued by, I have questions. Seen anyone looking to be separated from their hard-earned coin and giving it a loving farewell around here?¡± Almost as by reaction, she saw her mark had edged out past the sleeve¨Cand fluttering? But it felt like a dose of good-feel vibes when she saw Nick and Cita together. I wonder what that says? They¡¯re not rich, but¡­oh tell me this isn¡¯t some obscure thing. Is it literally the wealth of hearts? The feeling stopped when she focused back on her friends. This warranted more sleuthing later! She regarded Nick and Cita. ¡°Anyway, listen to me gab. I don¡¯t want to spread myself too thin, there¡¯s just so many people here tonight.¡± ¡°Oh, boy. I fear for the business world, Fi,¡± Nick said with a low cawing sound from his throat. Cita giggled in response, as he pretended it didn¡¯t happen. He tilted his head, to look over his shoulder. ¡°Mister Bedivere just got back from Erurtai, the western end of the continent. He finally hit a payload of mithril while digging around on a site he bought for next to nothing. But that might be the boss tier negotiator, Fiona.¡± She followed his prompt and recognized the short, stocky man who was more muscle than suit. H was talking in enthusiastic whispers to another gentleman next to him¨Cpossibly a dwarven lord, based on the runes sewn into his lapel. She didn¡¯t know names, but she knew stature by how people dressed. ¡°Well now, that is interesting,¡± Fiona said with a flash of teeth emerging. ¡°You two owe me a rundown of how things went, I need to keep running my list of clientele. You know, before Jake puts me in the spotlight. He should be putting a spotlight on you two, as well! Nick, make sure your feathers are combed, don¡¯t sound like a chicken when you do a speech! Cita, a dab more darkening on your cheeks! Also, relax a bit, we¡¯re in the company of friends! Ignore the other peacocks ruffling their feathers at us, with the lack of lordship and nobility!¡± she slyly slipped in. Nick chuckled softly and clinked a champagne glass against hers. ¡°Alright, I¡¯ll try to be presentable. Now don¡¯t go causing trouble, either. I¡¯m sure Jake will want to put us on stage and have us do some silly speech!¡± he took a sip of his drink, frowning when he had to maneuver his beak to avoid spilling. ¡°Slightly envious of you short-beaked people,¡± he added as an aside, with Cita patting him on the arm. ¡°Uh-huh. You know, there are some things I can teach you about that¨C¡± Fiona was already skimming ahead, glad to be able to engage with so many people. This was all part of the fun! And as luck would have it, the strategy. Several minutes later, she sidled up to a few other faces she recognized¨Cthe head of the smith guild, a prime candidate. She quickly got a quick nod from the stout dwarven woman that she would be there at the opening. She also dropped a less than subtle hint that they would love to add to the collection of high-quality dwarven steel armor, once initial stock was running low.Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit. Fiona loved the fact that the woman stroked her gold-colored braided beard thoughtfully at this notion, and she knew how good the armor was, from personal experience. It might be heavy as sin, even for her strength, but nothing was getting through it, short of an arbalest shot. She decided to push the approach. ¡°Celene, look, Douglas may have had a good collection of artifacts and adventurer¡¯s gear, but I have plans for the future. This place will carry mid and top-grade items. I have a lot of knowledgeable customers who would love to see these kinds of imports from Derikin Stronghold.¡± She noted the dwarf''s interest. "I know the armor is top-notch. I''ve seen it used. It''s just under-utilized." ¡°Miss Swiftheart, jumping into the hole with both feet?¡± the dwarven female named Celene replied with a hearty laugh. ¡°You don¡¯t know any bounds or barriers, do you?¡± ¡°I know, it¡¯s great to break them! Everyone keeps telling me I should be a fleet-of-foot elf who dances around their enemies to death, and eats grass! I¡¯m sure elves don¡¯t eat grass, but don¡¯t let anyone know I said that. We like snacks,¡± she added with a click of her tongue and a finger pistol salute. Celene let slip a hearty laugh that drew a few looks of consternation from the fancy dressed people in black ties, and even more drab-looking dresses. But Fiona didn¡¯t care. She could win them over with her charm. ¡°Okay, here¡¯s the rub. The clans don¡¯t like taking armor and arms for sale out of the mountains. Each craft we make, carries a history of culture, of pride in our constructs! Selling them is¡­well, like giving away a piece of ourselves!¡± Celene summarized. ¡°Yes, but, think of it as a cultural exchange. I know a guy from the Arkantine mountains up north, his name is Janik. He was telling me that their armor is top-notch! He was a walking tank when we went into a nest of razor rats, he didn¡¯t have a single nibble on him! Me, I was hopping dodging, and dancing to not get my face eaten off! Those poor little boogers broke their teeth on the metalwork!¡± ¡°So, what was the issue?¡± Celene asked, eyebrow raised. ¡°the armor lacks finesse! He couldn¡¯t move too well in it. My mage friend Bonnie knows runes and other enchantment work that could easily alleviate shortfalls in design. What I¡¯m saying is, I¡¯m sure that the Arkantine clans wouldn¡¯t mind an exchange of ideas and culture? Right?¡± Celene pressed her lips firmly together, finger-twisting her beard gently. ¡°Is she the only mage that can do it?¡± ¡°No. But she is the best. Think about it! Sleek, efficient dwarven steel! Dressed like a tank, fast like a hunter! It¡¯ll be a whole new line of products!¡± ¡°Interesting,¡± she purred. ¡°There¡¯s precedent for it. The dragons contracted us for enchanting their coins against tamper-proofing. Plus, our coin presses are magitech and streamlined!¡± Celene tapped her arcane relay against Fiona¡¯s, so that the contact was exchanged. ¡°I think there¡¯s an opportunity to be had, here.¡± She talked for a little while with Celene, and through a bit of deft maneuvering, got her contacts for a few other smiths in the valley who could import the armors at a relatively low cost, and a way to get them to the shop! She thanked the master smith and clapped her hands together¨Cthis was easy! All she had to do was keep angling this emporium for the current short-term yard sale, then line up the long-term stuff! She hoped, anyway. Her next stop was a guy that she knew who owed her a favor, and she spotted his jet-black mop of hair in the crowd. His nerves went on the second he saw her, and he attempted to weave his way through the crowd. Like she could be tricked by that! ¡°Felix! Oh hey, I thought I saw you over there! How is my favorite fixer doing!¡± she called out with a cry of enthusiasm. He smiled with his teeth on edge¨Cthe nervous smile of someone who just peed in your garden, and got caught doing so. ¡°I got into town, and you didn¡¯t even say hi! So uh, hi!¡± The thing that she loved was how he was frozen to the spot and couldn''t decide on a plan of escape, and he just stood there next to the snack tray, where he grabbed a dumpling and tried to scarf it down, and choked. Almost as if he could delay having to talk to her for a few more seconds. Which, as luck would have it, gave her ample time to close the gap and slap the twitchy rogue on the back, and he coughed out half a dumpling. ¡°Felix, didn¡¯t your mother tell you to chew your food?¡± she asked, even as he coughed into a napkin. This human flight risk knew there was no escape, and he couldn¡¯t look away from that menacing smile she was wearing. ¡°I would miss you too much if you died so preventably!¡± ¡°F-Fiona, please, I must insist, I need to¨C¡± ¡°Oh no, stick around, have a seat! You should take it easy, you could have died! Choking is a leading cause of death!¡± she said with the assurance one must give to someone who is twitchy as all hell and will bolt on you on a second''s notice. Especially, if they¡¯re in the middle of stealing stuff from you, like your snacks, which is the most egregious offense on Cepalune. He¡¯d also been fencing supplies from the adventurer¡¯s guild. It was probably to fund underprivileged orphans, but she couldn¡¯t let the stealing of snacks go. He owed her a favor. So she put on her best leering smile and peered right into his shifty-looking hazel eyes. ¡°See, Felix, I have a little, itty, bitty problem. Something that you, with your big-brain, cunning talents might be up to the task for! Call me, babe. I insist,¡± she added with an evil grin, and tapped his arcane relay in his pocket. With that subtle motion, he should be able to dial her at any time, and in privacy. ¡°Now, this should be a task suited for your tastes.¡± ¡°Uh¡­what now?¡± ¡°Pssh. Felix, please, this business is best reserved for someplace¡­a little quieter. And less crowded.¡± He gulped nerviously. ¡°Please don¡¯t make me do something likely to get me killed, jailed, or eaten,¡± he added. She let out a flirty laugh, to make sure absolutely no one was paying attention when she leaned in a second later and pinched his cheek. ¡°Dearie, listen. You might have heard a rumor I got into a bind. Help me on this one, and your past transgressions are forgiven. You are a cutie who can charm his way in just about anywhere!¡± ¡°Dear gods woman, I took one pastry!¡± His face practically twitched, and she thumbed his chiseled chin and gave him a boop on the nose. ¡°And that is the greatest sin of all, Felix. Oh, and I¡¯ll burn the evidence of the other thing you seem to be less worried about,¡± she added. ¡°Heck, I¡¯ll make sure that little discrepancy on a little piece of paper is corrected. Courtesy of me, like someone found a roll of coins under the doormat!¡± ¡°Alright, fine! I heard King Barry screwed you over, but seriously, don¡¯t push too hard.¡± He put his hands up in surrender. ¡°Call me at your convenience.¡± ¡°Thanks, bunches! I gotta go talk to more people, ciao!¡± She practically skipped away and took the rest of his dumplings. The droopy frown on his face was almost too priceless, and this was indeed a tasty treat! ¡°There goes Fi, doing her magic,¡± She heard Bonnie say somewhere nearby, to her super sensitive ears. ¡°I worry for the future of Fiefdala. Or its pastries,¡± Greg chuckled. ¡°Why not both?¡± Bonnie added with a laugh. She would join in, but then Jake started his announcement, at the center of the room. He¡¯d smoothly brushed his fur and cleared his throat before someone brought up a little device to amplify his voice. She zipped over to Greg and Bonnie, who saw her and gently waved her over to an empty seat. She hoped Jake wouldn¡¯t call her out, she could do speeches, but she didn¡¯t like the formality of that level. Small talk and engaging with business partners and uncool kings was fine, but speeches? Nope. Her media class from high school had been too much of that, and she wanted no part of it. Jake started with boring stuff like thanking everyone for being here, and she ignored that pre-baked routine that even Jake was forcing himself to do. She was much more interested in these dumplings that Felix had been a fine donator of. She lamented not snagging the dipping sauce. This world didn¡¯t have soy sauce, so she needed to figure out where to find that! ¡°--present to you, the illustrious, dazzling, melter-of-hearts¨Cand occasionally monsters¨CFiona Swiftheart!¡± The panic moment started when she realized everyone turned to look at her. At present, her mouth was slightly bulging with food, and then the clapping started She had a shot of energy down her spine, and she sprung to her feet, while swallowing the whole dumpling in one go. Nick might be proud of her trying to emulate an avian, by bolting all her food like that, but there was no time for formalities. She took a quick sip of her drink before striding forward, and felt that dress flow through the air. Each motion felt effortless and fluid. She flashed a knowing smile at the audience, wondering if she should have had some a speech prepared. Nah, these are my guys, my friends, and my guildmates. I¡¯ve got this! She cleared her throat before she took the magical microphone from Jake, and surveyed the room. Everyone was paying attention, now. ¡°Uh, testing, this thing on? Okay, good, here we go!¡± Vol. 1, Ch. 21: Making The Sales Pitch That dress of hers felt like it was on fire. She checked to see if the enchantment actually set it on fire. So far, roast Fiona was not on the menu. But the glinting gold embroidery did seem a little brighter. Or, was that just the lighting? All she did know was that she needed to remain cool, not dump on King Barry in the public spotlight, and more importantly, celebrate with her friends. She was far from the only person who had helped land a walloping on Doug. A million other worries instantly cropped up. Was her hair frizzy? Did she have anything stuck between her teeth? There wasn¡¯t any time to worry about those and anyone who might have issues with her, wouldn¡¯t bother wasting their time on her. ¡°Alright then, fellow adventurers, greetings!¡± she announced in a loud tone¡ªand got a tad too close to the amplifier near her, singing like a strained violin. The noise woke up the few people snoozing at the party and got everyone else¡¯s attention. ¡°Whoops, sorry, my bad. Everyone in the back woken up now? Great, let¡¯s get started!¡± She flashed her gaze across the room. This celebration was about everyone who had risked their lives to deal with a kingdom-level threat, and stepped up to the plate. ¡°Fellow guildmates, esteemed guests of our illustrious hall, welcome and thank you for gracing us with your presence tonight! Now, I wasn¡¯t exactly planning a speech. I think Jake is usually trying to steal away the amplifier when I¡¯m on stage,¡± she added with an unsubtle wink to him. A subtle glance and slight grimace when he looked to where the band would normally be playing, was not lost on her. ¡°So, for those of you who don¡¯t know me¨C¡± ¡°We all know you, Fiona, we love you!¡± a younger adventurer in a flirty blue dress called out from a far-off table. She gave the enthusiast a gentle hand wave and a flash of a smile. ¡°Alright cutie, call me later! I guess it goes without saying, if you don¡¯t want recognition, don¡¯t go beating up dragon lords!¡± She gave up any hope of doing this quickly, with just a few lines. People were leaning in attentively. She had to fulfill the part, now. Think Fiona, think! What should you talk about? And not about Barry this time. Or Douglas, the guy I trounced without effort. This should be the one time you talk about yourself, and everyone who graced these halls, putting it all on the line for Fiefdala! She examined the room and looked for the people she needed to appeal to. ¡°So, I¡¯ll keep this speech short. I came into town about six months ago, with not a single copper in my pocket. Actually, there were a lack of pockets. Or pants attached to pockets," she added with a nervous laugh, and there was a wave of catcalls and hearty laughs. Not many knew about that one, but there were a few who did. "Now, I wanted to highlight my first mentor, Jacob Fervier. Jacob here helped teach me some tricks of the trade. I studied, I trained, I excelled at what I had always wanted to do since I was a little girl: adventuring and protecting lives.¡± It was a truth, even from her childhood in a faraway world. Dreaming of going on adventures, battling great evils, and standing triumphant. The reality was, it was never made out to be so easy. Her words got some of the newer recruit''s attention, eager eyed and captivated by her presence. ¡°It''s hard work. That¡¯s the one thing you won¡¯t understand, until your first missions. The danger is always there. They can¡¯t prepare you for everything. I certainly had to get my fair share of saves when I first started. I had to learn fast. But I did it, because it was a passion, and they can teach you to adapt and improvise. It¡¯s how I started at the bottom, as a fair elf maiden¨Cas some have called me,¡± she adds with a leering grin at a burly man sitting silently in the back. He grunted, and shook his head. ¡°Now, people ask me, ¡®But Fiona, how did you get so good?¡¯ Truth is, it¡¯s just training, and working with your fellow adventurers. When you''re out in the field¡­your teammates are your family. And you protect your family like nothing else," she stated adamantly. "I have good friends who helped me force the surrender of Douglas the Red, and I didn¡¯t solo it. Well, I mean I beat up the dragon and left him humiliated, but I didn¡¯t take on a whole army by myself,¡± she added as a murmur of laughs emanated through the room. ¡°I¡¯d like to thank them personally. Nick, Cita, you guys rock, the unsung heroes over there!¡± Fiona pointed out, and Nick did that bird-like swivel as if he¡¯d been startled. Meanwhile, Cita gushed and wrapped her arm around his shoulder, waving to the adoration of the room. ¡°Anyway, didn¡¯t mention it earlier, but I wanted to thank Jake for taking the time out of his very busy schedule. He¡¯s done an awesome job of polishing the for tonight¡¯s events. Seriously, Jake, the snacks are awesome!¡± she exclaimed in a burst of excitement. He stood there, arms folded, muzzle clenched, and fighting back a chuckle. ¡°Yeah, I had a reputation when I was in the barracks. Fiona, the snack thief. I always knew when they had dumplings in the cafeteria. Jake threatened to have my class rebranded to rogue, on account of many precious treats mysteriously going missing. I can tell you, it wasn¡¯t me!¡± ¡°The pastries have never been so well guarded,¡± Jake called out, even as he cracked a smile. Fiona strolled around, looking to command this room. She pondered how her newfound abilities could aid her. Was there a way to influence this room positively? The tinging on her wrist seemed to emanate along her spine, too. It was like making a sales pitch. You couldn¡¯t sell something that people didn¡¯t want. The trick was, you needed to offer something they wanted or needed. And this city, while it had come far, still had many promises unfulfilled.The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement. "I think the city needs to recognize the risks the guild takes, in place of a fully outfitted military. We explore, we recover lost culture, and we defend and protect the citizens of Fiefdala on many fronts, every single day. People shouldn''t lose sight of that--for those who can let their kids roam outside the city limits without worrying about monsters and bandits. I certainly will never forget the important jobs we do, even if I move on from the adventuring life." Now for the big moment. ¡°I¡¯ll keep this short. I have a new shop opening up, thanks to the generous donation of one giant, mean, overgrown kobold named Doug, the not-so-red,¡± she added with an infectious smile. ¡°I want you guys all there! Now, to show the generosity I have for my fellow teammates¨Cminus the incident of the snacks, which totally had nothing to do with me¨CI have a proposal. Every purchase on the first day of the grand opening, I¡¯m gonna donate ten percent of the proceeds to the Adventurer¡¯s Guild!" There were cheers, a few gasps, and a few looked on like they had no idea how to react. Greg was sitting there, with a wide-eyed stare, and Bonnie was beaming. ¡°Yep, that¡¯s right, I¡¯m going into business, and I want to ensure the adventurers and curios of Fiefdala have what they need, to help keep this shining establishment dragon-free! Or slime-free. My friend Darla seemed very sad about the lack of slime monsters in the public bath; I have no idea why. Must be a cultural difference thing,¡± she shrugged, before wagging a hand. She continued, even as the laughs subsided. ¡°Anyway, not important! The grand opening is in a few days, so bring your friends and families! Bring rich guys, too! No, I''m mostly joking, but seriously, bring an appetite for cool stuff, and we¡¯ll make it a grand old event!¡± she called out, and surveyed the room for the general reaction. There was nothing but a wall of roars and excitement; she smiled proudly at that. She might be taking a big hit on opening day, but in her head, she figured she could come out even further ahead, with a little bit of goodwill going a long way. She wanted Barry to know the score: she¡¯d thumb her nose at possible death, and not be intimidated. That flutter of energy on her wrist also seemed to be a silent approval, too. Were the wings...flapping? She must have imagined it. A glance at her wrist left her wide-eyed: The wings were flapping animatedly. Okay, the scarce little I know, that¡¯s not normal for marks, is it? ¡°Well spoken Fi,¡± Jake announced and broke her pending panic, before she gently handed him the amplifier. ¡°Alright folks, there you have it! The lovely Miss Swiftheart, swiftly knocking us off our feet with her charm!¡± he called out, to a few boos from everyone wanting Fiona back on the stage. ¡°We¡¯ll have additional refreshments coming out soon! Also, our little gala will have a bit of music. Liebert, that¡¯s your cue!" he announced with a pointed claw, and the gathering of musicians started playing a cheery tune. Fiona was already skipping ahead, back to the table where Greg was trying to bury his head into a table, and doing his mouse-warding spell. Fiona doubted mice would dare to take up residence in the guild hall. ¡°Aw Greg, why so down?¡± she asked with a small tsk sound. ¡°You just gave up ten percent. For our opening day. Our biggest day," he groaned. ¡°Do you have a death wish, Miss Swiftheart?¡± ¡°Greg, have some faith,¡± Bonnie said while trying to coax him back up above table level, and missed Fiona¡¯s slight look of terror at Greg¡¯s inadvertent slip. ¡°This is Fiona we¡¯re talking about! She knows what she¡¯s doing. Giving back to the guild is a very smart move. You can¡¯t put a price on goodwill.¡± ¡°Bonnie, there is only so much goodwill before you put yourself in the red and dead!¡± Greg once again was breaking composure at the worst time, and Fiona gave him the ¡®I¡¯m going to kill you later¡¯ smile she¡¯d used to great effect on the last boyfriend. ¡°This is how we end up net negative. Profanely net negative. Do you have any idea what that¡¯ll cost?¡± ¡°Greg, don¡¯t be a square peg in a round hole,¡± Fiona assured him. ¡°It¡¯ll be fine! You know we didn¡¯t have any acquisition costs on these!¡± ¡°Good feelings do not equate to a successful business,¡± he muttered, and brought his head up from the table, and adjusted his crooked glasses. ¡°Fiona, you can¡¯t do things like this, where I¡¯m in pure reactionary mode. I can''t work like that.¡± ¡°We have stuff to sell, and we need to line clients up at the door,¡± she added. ¡°I guarantee you, we¡¯ll be fine in the long run! Eat some food, you look pale. I can¡¯t have you wasting away into a little skeleton! You would make a terrible skeleton, by the way, and they play cards terribly.¡± Her sullen friend looked up, a faint crease of a smile emerging even though he was still upset. ¡°I would very much like to not be a skeleton, either. Alright, it¡¯s your show, Fiona. But do warn me when you plan on trying reckless, crazy, or counterintuitive things, alright? I can¡¯t advise if you just¡­you know, do things before you tell me.¡± ¡°I know, Greg. We¡¯re¡­we¡¯re in business together,¡± she conceded. I should have told him beforehand, that was a mistake. ¡°I¡¯ll run business tactics by you before I go so something crazy, alright?¡± ¡°Fair enough. Now lean back, and enjoy the festivities, while I work with the rest of the crowd.¡± She tossed back another dumpling, and swore she heard the distant lamentation of Felix at the loss of the culinary treasure. It did taste better when hastily separated from its intended recipient. She doubted the Contract would have let her get away with ¡®Snack Thief¡¯ if she¡¯d asked for it. Whatever goddess or wizard in a bad robe brought me here, they certainly have given me plenty of latitude. But, why? It was probably better not to test this one. Her drama had gotten her one unique class, and trying for two might be pushing beyond even her level of luck. But, maybe ¡®snack thief¡¯ had been her intended Destined Class, in another life¨C Her ears perked up, and she heard the commotion coming¡ªno, barnstorming in, and she could hear a slow, exaggerated clap from up on the second floor. Her gaze lifted, and she snapped to attention when she saw who it was. Standing there, looking regal in a dress jacket and a white shirt and giving her a slow clap, was the villain of the hour. Barry was peering down at her table, all smug looking. Just like that, her mood instantly soured. This benchwarmer king was a dose of instant curdled milk and spilled snacks, everywhere he went. Vol. 1, Ch. 22: Moral Bankruptcy Proceeding Fiona was more surprised that she hadn¡¯t even noticed Barry come in¨Chad he been one of the first arrivals, and just been quietly chilling? That was not cool, Kings were supposed to make as much racket as possible and make giant peacock presentations. This guy was more like the snake you had to watch out for creeping through the grass, looking to take a bite out of your backside. Or, more like a gator. She hated gators. They were the reason she¡¯d avoided Florida at all costs, besides the oft-mentioned Florida Man stories. She pondered if Barry had been paying attention to her little speech. She saw the gritted teeth on Jake as he noticed, too, and the claws on his hands flexed. She walked quickly up to him, seeing a disaster in the making. Barry was enemy number one to half her guildmates, and her. She twisted Jake around with a spin off her arm and gave him a look of warning. ¡°I see that look. Don¡¯t.¡± ¡°If he thinks he can just crash into my own house, he has another thing coming¡ª¡± ¡°And do what, Jake?¡± she gripped his arm tight enough he winced, even given his musculature and iron will. ¡°You think that isn¡¯t the reaction he¡¯s waiting for?¡± ¡°Most likely.¡± He said it in more of a snarl than words, but he untensed his body. ¡°What¡¯s his angle though?¡± ¡°Well, I see his little entourage working this way. Three guesses who they¡¯re here to ¡®escort¡¯ to his Royal Pain in the Ass.¡± Bonnie had seen the commotion and had flitted to her position on the floor, fluffy tail wagging anxiously. ¡°I have a wand to dispel anything that twerp can pull off¡ª¡± ¡°No. Let¡¯s wait. He¡¯s expecting me to make some bold move or do something out of anger. Which, is what I would normally do,¡± Fiona concluded with a small amount of reflection. ¡°If he really wanted to make a show, he would need every chrome-plated dum-dum in the city to take this place by force.¡± ¡°Not saying you got a good point, Fi? But he pisses me off,¡± Bonnie uttered, her muzzle twitching. The knights from the castle approached them, then fanned out in a small arc ¡°King Barrimeth wants to talk to you,¡± the knight with the shiniest, biggest helmet asked with little emotion. ¡°Perfect timing. I was so eager to talk to him, considering our last conversation,¡± she added while glaring at the stairwell. ¡°Don¡¯t bother escorting me. I know the way up.¡± Bonnie also advanced forward, but one of the knights put out a gauntleted hand, to ward her away. Fiona gave him an excoriating glare. ¡°My friend gets to come with me, for my protection.¡± ¡°Uh, I thought my job was to protect other people from you,¡± Bonnie quipped. ¡°Close enough,¡± she responded with a smirk. The knight frowned. ¡°That¡¯s not how this works,¡± dummy number one called out. ¡°Yeah, it is. Unless you want to make a scene, in the adventurer¡¯s guild hall, with hundreds of hostile witnesses against you, who do not share a lot of love for someone willing to, oh I dunno, mistreat the dashing heroine of the hour? You might want to think that through for a second,¡± Fiona told him in a cool tone. Dummy number one was sharper than the rest of the guys with oversized armaments, and waved Bonnie through, after a tense moment. He did ask her to leave her spell satchel behind. ¡°I don¡¯t need spell components to make Beardless have a bad time,¡± she growled as they ascended the stairs. ¡°Fi, this is a dangerous move.¡± ¡°Yeah. Little bit,¡± she responded, and wished she had her hammer. Whatever Barry had planned, it must be some kind of scheme. Schemers schemed and tried to get other saps to be stuck holding the bag, if things went wrong. ¡°Fi, why is he approaching you? Like he didn¡¯t have enough on you already?¡± Bonnie cautioned her. ¡°Relax, I¡¯ve got this Bonnie. Greg taught me better than that,¡± Fiona assured her. ¡°Besides, what more can he do?¡± I mean, I already have a ticking clock of doom that gives out in less than a year. You can¡¯t get worse than that. ¡°Oh, I don¡¯t think either of us wants to answer that question,¡± Bonnie sighed before they continued up the stairs. One more fancy knight in armor waved them through to another doorway¡ªa private room, overlooking the main hall, dressed with bright red sashes and a small marble bust of a famous adventurer. She entered and felt her ears twitch at the off-putting presence of Barry¡ªand a plus one. He was dressed in formal attire, wine glass in hand¨Cand the person accompanying him was a schmoozy blonde that Fiona hadn¡¯t seen before, with brown eyes and looking like she used too much makeup. Almost like a blonde owl, with her movements, and that tiny mouth of hers. She was practically pouring out of her dress, with creamy white skin and unblemished by scars or skin markings. Barry cleared his throat before anyone could speak, and motioned the guards away, who took the cue and descended the stairs. ¡°Greetings¡­your majesty,¡± she offered with a polite bow. What Barry didn¡¯t know was she was gritting her teeth so hard, that she¡¯d have cracked her fillings by now, if she still had them. After another moment of posing, he spoke. ¡°Fancy running into you, here. I heard your announcement. Quite intriguing, I thought you would have been stubborn enough to try to bash your head against the problem by killing more monsters and raiding the tombs of Fiefdala. You know, with your literal life on the line.¡± Oh, you son of a bitch. Bonnie gasped beside her, and Barry gave that leering smile. ¡°Oh, oops. I guess you didn¡¯t know that one. Spoilers.¡± ¡°Fi¡ª¡± ¡°Later,¡± Fiona hissed, catching Bonnie by surprise. There was tangible fear etched in her eyes, one hand to her muzzle. She turned her attention back to Barry, focusing on only him, and she gave him a strained smile. ¡°We¡¯re graced with your presence. I didn¡¯t think you were on the invite list.¡± ¡°I wasn¡¯t. Kings shouldn¡¯t announce where they¡¯re going in advance, and any door is open to me.¡± It was sound advice for this creep because she figured people would be sharpening knives if they knew in advance. ¡°I wanted to congratulate you. I saw the building over on Perrier Way, it was quite impressive that you acquired, renovated, and are opening in a few days. Are you still emboldened that you think you can pull this off?" ¡°I have friends who want to help me. Not a surprise, considering the¡­challenges imposed by acquiring enough treasure to fill a treasury,¡± Fiona stated, and restrained herself from giving this guy any kind of reaction. ¡°So life¡¯s a blast! I have my license, we¡¯re bringing things up to code, it¡¯s all going to work out.¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s not.¡± And just like that, that confident smirk of hers twitched, and she knew this other shoe probably had been waiting to drop for a while. ¡°You¡¯re not opening the store.¡± That stern, disapproving face sat in contrast to his normal amused, creepy smirk. ¡°You can¡¯t stop me.¡± She folded her arms and narrowed her eyes. ¡°Even Kings can¡¯t just shut down a business, just because they don¡¯t like a person.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t just not like you. I hate everything you stand for.¡± She swore she heard Bonnie¡¯s claws tense at that comment, but she remained calm beside her while Barry went on a rant. ¡°You walked in out of nowhere, and solved a problem my father couldn¡¯t fix. And then, you went and smashed a dragon and his army to pieces; now I have to rule, because no one else wanted the seat.¡± "Yeah, your sister has been giving me dead air when I try to call her. Let me guess, you told her ¡®Stay out of this¡¯ right? Just like your dad¡¯s been missing in action, and I keep getting the runaround?¡± She leaned in, her whole body tensed. ¡°That¡¯s assuming he¡¯s able to take calls if you get my meaning.¡± ¡°Oh, are you insinuating¡ª¡± he started to say before she took a step back. ¡°Nah. Friendly conversation. He must be taking a well-deserved break, after all. I must have been the best thing to happen to him in a while.¡± His whole face recoiled in reaction to this. "The best thing--You were the charmer of my father! You got Lucy twisted around your finger, you''re an utter dear to my mother, and everyone loves you!" She sat through this brat''s rant, his eyes filled with raving accusations. "Success follows you around, everywhere you go!" ¡°Success is earned, it¡¯s not given away for free. Let me tell you something, Barry. You haven¡¯t known loss, until everything you love gets violently ripped away from you.¡± She looked him up and down and pointed accusingly at him. ¡°You can''t imagine the entirety of my loss I''ve endured to get here--" "Fiona," Bonnie warned her, and she noted a subtle dimming of her eyes as she shook her head. Better to be the bigger woman in the room, before she lost her grace. She gauged the King''s reaction, who wore little more than a raised eyebrow. She''d shut his rant down pretty hard, but had she given too much away? "Forgive me, Your Grace. I''m very passionate about my rise, and the work it took to get there. We should all remember the efforts so many of us go through. Even kings have their journey to the seat."This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon. Barry was wearing a press-lipped smile. She got to him, and it felt good. "Yes. Some effort must have been expended. So, here''s the new assignment. You¡¯ll be working with my current assistant, Miss Glados Hennaway,¡± he announced, and made a subtle wave to the woman with that hawk-like face. She looked more avian than Nick, who was an avian. ¡°A pleasure¨C¡± ¡°No, it isn¡¯t.¡± Bonnie put a hand out to stop Fiona from greeting her, and she wisely took the hint. ¡°Miss Hennaway was in my graduating class in magecraft, too. Except, her specialty is¡­less than desirable.¡± ¡°Oh? Listen to the young little kit bark,¡± Glados chided with a bubbly laugh, and gave her a dismissive wave. ¡°I assure you, my class has uses.¡± ¡°Yeah. To a very few select clientele I¡¯d never do business with if they were the last people on Cepalune,¡± Bonnie retorted. ¡°Fiona, I think this demonstration is over, we should go.¡± ¡°I concur,¡± Fiona said, and took Bonnie¡¯s advice. ¡°Listen, King Barry, I have a business to run, and you changing the rules is not cool. You also presume you have power over me, which you don¡¯t,¡± she finished with a burst of mocking laughter. Bonnie was wearing that anxious smile right about now. ¡°I¡¯m a private citizen! You have no power over me, Goblin King! Oh, wait, sorry, wrong king. That guys on my schedule for next month.¡± ¡°While that is technically true, I do have an offer, one that I¡¯m willing to set aside my differences with you, Miss Swiftheart.¡± She laughed even more mockingly. ¡°King Barry, I¡¯d rather go get eaten by a dragon. I know where one lives, and I¡¯m sure he¡¯d be more than happy to help me, considering the beating I threw at him!¡± Fiona declared while Bonnie¡¯s ears were still tense, like she was about to bolt. Which was silly, because Barry dismissed all his guards like an idiot. Or he was confident he didn¡¯t need the protection. ¡°There¡¯s nothing you can throw at me, that can make me change my mind¨C¡± ¡°I¡¯ll consider the debt paid in full. I just need six months of your time.¡± She stopped laughing, and stared blankly at him. That smug smile is back on his face. ¡°Oh, now you¡¯re considering it?¡± ¡°Oh, there''s some considering going on," she replied calmly. I''m considering which continent your rich ass is gonna land on, by the time you stop falling out of orbit when I smack you with my hammer. She wished she could say that aloud. "You dump a bogus debt on me that no king has enforced in over two hundred years, then pretend you¡¯re offering me an olive branch?" ¡°I concur. Your father would never have sanctioned¨Chad the audacity¨Cto enforce what¡¯s essentially state-sponsored extortion. There¡¯s a reason that law hasn¡¯t been enforced in a while,¡± Bonnie added with a curling of her lip. From a kitsune, Fiona knew that was a truly menacing sign that someone better back down. Barry sat there, still wearing the smug smile. ¡°You¡¯re right, that one took a little while to set up. Now, as for this proposal...I have an opportunity for a business deal for enduring trade relations. With one of our neighbors. The Kingdom of Vale.¡± Bonnie scoffed instantly. ¡°That kingdom¡¯s a cesspool. The last border skirmish was twenty years ago, too recent for many peoples'' memories. They¡¯ve been smart to not come crawling back. You would be ill-advised to work with them.¡± ¡°Quite frankly, my father didn¡¯t expand into lucrative trade with several kingdoms, for various reasons.¡± Barry didn¡¯t elaborate. ¡°I want you to lead the negotiations in good faith, Miss Swiftheart, and I will release the hold on you¡ª¡± ¡°Hang up a tick.¡± A thought came across her mind. Why is he changing the terms? Because he¡¯s scared I might pull it off? Or was this the plan all along? He wants me to agree to this, thinking I have no choice. ¡°Your mark is pretty dangerous to use, isn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°What?¡± he blinked in surprise. ¡°Yeah. Enforcement of laws and all? Making a demand of someone who has a rather lethal alternative? What happens to you if I pay this debt off? If I dumped one point six million gold onto your damn throne tomorrow, what happens? You didn¡¯t do this to anyone else. I checked.¡± A single beat of sweat hung from where his crown rested on his forehead. ¡°Your debt is paid. That¡¯s it, and the kingdom will thank you for honoring your generosity.¡± ¡°But you know this tax is bogus. You could have enforced it by throwing armed men my way. Which, would have ended badly for you and them,¡± she laughed. Another bead of sweat joined the first. ¡°Oh, Barry, tell me it doesn¡¯t work the way I think it works. If I meet this obligation¡­it could end badly for you, couldn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°I¡ª¡± ¡°It''s fine and all to speculate, Miss Swiftheart, but you¡¯re going to say yes anyway,¡± Glados interjected, and slunk around Barry, one hand gently tracing his shoulder, then up his neck. Fiona fought the urge of nausea, seeing this blonde bunny draped around him. ¡°You¡¯ll do it because you care about this city, and fulfilling your obligations as one of its citizens.¡± Bitch, I might not be able to beat Barry to paste, but nobody said anything about whether you were off-limits. ¡°Uh huh, sure there Ellen. Keep telling yourself that. Now, why pick me, out of all the other little patsies you could have dumped this on?¡± "You bested Douglas the red. Your immense strength is quite well known. People respond to strength, Fiona. That''s the most important lesson Kings can ever learn. And commoners,¡± Glados purred, ignoring the fact that Fiona deliberately got her name wrong. ¡°Fiona, don¡¯t," Bonnie stated with a strained growl. ¡°They don¡¯t respect people¡¯s way of life like they do here. I know people who left there. They were better for it, when they could escape.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t need to tell me twice,¡± Fiona concluded. ¡°Not all strength is physical, Glados. That''s a lesson you haven''t learned yet. And to drive home the point? No, Your Majesty. Count me out." She truly caught him off guard, when he recoiled ever so slightly. "What do you mean, ''count me out''?" "Nein, nay, nix, nyet, would you like another version of ''no'' for me to elaborate?" she asked with a smirk. "Whatever you¡¯re going to have me agree to, would probably lead to moral bankruptcy on my part. I can¡¯t be bought like that. Even given the challenges you¡¯ve handed me, I always find a way.¡± Barry shook his head, mouth gaping as if still searching for words. ¡°I-I am truly disappointed. Your tax debt is still due in full within the year. I suggest you attend to it, then,¡± he replied with a yawn. She¡¯d had enough of that feigned polite attitude. ¡°You don''t run the tax office anymore, that decision is out of your hands, Barry, and that office still has to set a date for an audit. Have a good party, don¡¯t call me again.¡± She turned to leave, and Bonnie was quick to join her. ¡°Not even going to consider it?¡± Barry called out, sounding distinctly annoyed. "You''re going to turn me down? Even though I''m giving you an out?" No. Something was off. She turned around, and saw the sneer on his lip, and the desperation in his eyes. First, the way he glanced at her, then at Glados. His voice tense had been significantly higher. She narrowed her eyes and gave him a look of consternation. ¡°Nah. I think it¡¯s gonna be more fun to find out what happens to you for trying to abuse dangerous magic when I meet your win condition," Fiona stated before she stomped down the flight of stairs. "Assuming I don''t find a way to drop your stupid tax to zero, because I''m very good at finding a path to victory." ¡°You¡¯ll never pay it off, Swiftheart!¡± he countered. ¡°It¡¯s impossible.¡± She took a step forward, body edging toward him to the point of getting into his personal space. "Do me a favor, don''t ever come to my shop, Barry. King or not, I will fling you into the lake head first, if you do." She turned to look over her shoulder, and smiled evilly. "By the way, if I do end up paying anything, I¡¯ll pay it all in copper. Good luck lugging that around! Also, tell your dad he owes me and the Adventurer''s guild a round of drinks, when he gets back,¡± she added as she gave him a polite farewell. "I''m not a messenger! Why do you think my father''s ghosting you?" She turned around, seeing that slight smile-- a desperate smile, even. "He hasn''t intervened in this. Why do you think that is?" "I''ll ask him when he stops avoiding my calls. Good night, King Barrimeth." She was done listening to this farce of a King, and walked away. ¡°You might regret this,¡± Glados called out in a singsong, mocking tone. Fiona also picked up a hushed whisper from Barry, seizing on panic. She knew who wore the pants in that relationship, that was for sure. ¡°Pretty sure I won¡¯t, future royal pain in my ass!¡± She called out¨Cshe couldn''t insult Barry to his face, but his current escort was fair game. "Also, my parting advice? I''m not saving this kingdom again. You''re on your own from the next hungry dragon or eldritch horror show. And if Doug shows up for revenge? I might buy his favor by giving him back all his stuff, and tell him who the real thief is!" She laughed. As soon as they were out of earshot, Bonnie pressed her against the wall, with Fiona protesting lightly. ¡°What is wrong with you?!¡± she whispered, panic in her eyes. ¡°What do you mean you¡¯ve got a doom clock over your head? Barry did something with his mark, didn¡¯t he?¡± ¡°Oh, great,¡± she sighed. ¡°Barry rigged this game from the start. If I don¡¯t pay up in coin in a year, his mark kills me.¡± ¡°You didn¡¯t say anything about this!¡± she shrilled, whiskers on her muzzle bristling and her eyes wide in disbelief. ¡°Why wouldn¡¯t you say anything?!¡± ¡°To avoid you going on a one-kitsune-army to burn the palace to cinders, or hex Barry into something unmentionable?¡± Fiona suggested. ¡°Look, you already knew I¡ª¡± ¡°This is not the same! Wait, Greg was¡­¡± She looked down the stairwell, where the knights were waving away people from the premises. Bonnie¡¯s teeth edged out. ¡°You both knew and didn¡¯t tell me?¡± ¡°Bonnie, he¡¯s not going to succeed,¡± she assured her. Bonnie pushed away, shaking her head in dismay. ¡°Fi, this is the kind of thing you don¡¯t keep from your friends. No matter what kind of reaction you might expect from me. Because I know, you are a good person, and what they¡¯ve done is wrong.¡± Her muzzle trembled, and she wiped away a spot of moisture from her eyes. ¡°Who else knows?¡± ¡°Jake and a few of the guild members. It¡¯s not like Barry was subtle about this.¡± ¡°I¡¯m going to burn this jackass, he¡¯s right there,¡± she snarled, a spark of fire emanating from one hand. Fiona put her hand up to stop her. ¡°We don¡¯t know if his mark keeps working even after he¡­you know. Even I wouldn¡¯t take that chance, and we don¡¯t know if he¡¯s done this to others. That¡¯s why we can¡¯t do anything. At least, on that front. Look, Bonnie, I¡¯m sorry. It was an omission that I¡¯m not proud of having used. I¡¯m¡­not used to having people worry about me.¡± She was still right pissed with her. But, her hands weren¡¯t trembling like before. ¡°Fi, the more you say, the more I realize you¡¯re an absolute wreck underneath that elven smile at times.¡± ¡°Yeah. You and me, both,¡± she replied glumly. She wished she could just slide down the wall and sit for a while¡­but there were still appearances to keep up. ¡°I¡¯m not giving that creep any power over me, Bon-bon. And I won¡¯t hide it when I¡¯m in trouble anymore, okay?¡± ¡°You¡¯ve helped save my tail more than a few times, Fi. You are a good friend, when you let people in.¡± Bonnie¡¯s expression softened, and waved her over. ¡°That said, girl, I need to keep a closer eye on you. You¡¯re a transmigrated elf with insane strength and people sharpening their knives for you, and you¡¯ve been here less than a year.¡± She smiled faintly at that. ¡°Yeah. I could do with less of that. Now, minus that really awkward reveal, we learned something. I think Barry is in serious trouble.¡± ¡°From you? Yep, he¡¯s a dead man,¡± Bonnie snarked. ¡°No, not me. Why would he want to make a deal with Vale? Your reaction to that¡ªand Glados¡ªare troubling signs.¡± ¡°Well, I think for what it¡¯s worth, you made the right choice. Hennaway is not a nice person. Vale, even less so.¡± ¡°How fitting that she¡¯s with Barry." She pondered over that unusual exchange a moment ago. "Bonnie, let me ask you something. Why does Barry need this deal?" "You mean, why does he want to do business with that cesspool?" "No, why does he need this deal?" she insisted. Bonnie followed her cue, and let out a sound of ponderance. "The treasury is low. But it shouldn''t be so low, even with the dispute with Douglas. I''m pretty sure I''m not the only person he hosed. So, why does he need cash so bad?" "That...is a really good question, Fiona," Bonnie said before adjusting her dress. "Oh boy, you gonna do some sleuthing? That''s not your class." "When it comes to money, it should be. I made couch coins multiply, every time I wanted take-out! C''mon Bonnie, let¡¯s go have some fun and put on a show for Barry,¡± Fiona said with a smile. ¡°Time to liven up this party, and show our audience of one that I¡¯m not scared of him.¡± ¡°Oh, boy. Whatcha need?¡± ¡°Some flash and glamor.¡± Vol. 1, Ch. 23: Putting On The Swifts! Fiona touched down in record time on the dance floor, and grabbed Jake before he could get a word out. Even this wolven could read the determined look on her face. ¡°So uh, I take it that didn¡¯t go well¨C¡± ¡°Nope. That¡¯s okay, though! I want to make sure Barry knows we¡¯re having a good time! So let¡¯s party like it¡¯s 1999, fellas!¡± she declared with a fist pump to the air. ¡°It¡¯s 2024, BE,¡± he replied drolly. ¡°What¡¯s that stand for, anyway? You know what, history lesson later, let¡¯s put it on the Ritz!¡± ¡°What¡¯s a ritz¨Cyou know what, don¡¯t need to know, it¡¯s gonna be a fun time.¡± It was great how Jake was willing to roll with it, and she threw him an approving nod before skipping to the floor. Greg approached, wearing his concerned look. Which was his default expression that she desperately needed to fix. ¡°Fiona, what were you doing with¨C¡± ¡°Not important. It¡¯s time to dance! Let¡¯s rip up this fancy polished floor like dancing''s going out of style,¡± she beamed. ¡°There is so much sourness in that booth, that we need to shake up the room with a little bit of sweet and spice! Cue the music, Jake!¡± Almost as if they¡¯d been waiting for the moment to get the freak on, the band started playing a lively tune¨Cthe kind she¡¯d heard in quite a few bawdy tavern songs. But here, this was a different crowd this was tuned for, and then she proceeded to get funky. Cepalune had a different beat to the crowd than the clubs back on Earth. It was slower, and a little more intimate; Greg was not happy to be victim number one. Mostly, because he had two left feet, while hers barely touched the ground as they spun and twirled across the dance floor. ¡°Oh my. Oh dear. The human body is not meant to move in this way!¡± Greg stilted with a certain awkward charm of his that she liked about him. He always seemed to keep his guard up, except for a few times. ¡°Bonnie? Has he been introduced to ¡®grinding¡¯ yet?¡± A flash of a leering grin from Bonnie and those dazzling blue eyes was all she needed to know he had not, in fact, been introduced to a little slice of earth culture. "I do not believe he has.¡± Pale, poor pale Greg never looked a rosier shade when he had two dancing, flirty chicks trying to get their funk on, and Fiona loved it when he sputtered. This poor, innocent boy had no social life outside of work, and she needed to fix that! ¡°Miss Swiftheart, I must insist¨C¡± ¡°If the end of that statement is ¡®on having a good time¡¯, then yes, you definitely should!¡± Fiona laughed as they spun and got their kicks flitting through the crowd. Greg was merely the first to be accosted in this way, and she and Bonnie worked through the crowd. The elf and the kitsune, swam through the crowd an ebb and flow of two dedicated dancers, determined to make this memorable. She had to applaud Jake and Bonnie, with the technically extra joint that was part of their ankle and paw pads. They were like an extra set of springs for their body, and allowed them a certain additional degree of flexibility. Bonnie could spring through the air, and those acrobatics were put to good use. And Bonnie, despite dressing fairly modestly, was not lacking in the accessories department. Watching her dance was a masterclass of evolution that took place in a span of distance and time beyond counting, and Fiona took her current partner¨CJake, who was grinning at the attention¨Cand brought Bonnie into the fold again. ¡°Whooo! Girl, you are an utter demon on the floor!¡± Bonnie called out, cackling madly. ¡°Oy, I resent that!¡± someone protested with a distinct pair of horns on their head¨Canother Darkling, perhaps? ¡°Sorry, she¡¯s just excited! We are reinventing the funk!¡± Fiona corrected and spun to give this new arrival a spin, and got cozily close. Any objections the man had were immediately quashed as the interlocking arms and legs moved to a new beat of energized soul, with everyone finding the rhythm over the next several minutes. Rhythm governed the mood, as she danced across the floor, and little sparks of fire were, indeed, trailing from the gold embroidered threads of her dress. The sparks spun little pirouettes, little faerie fires that winked out after several seconds, and traced her motion across the room with her partner, who gave a toothy smirk. He was so graceful, too, with gently guided hands coming to rest in cozy handholds as they spun, leaped, and jilted across the room. The band switched to a rapid-fire pace with a song she didn¡¯t recognize. But the rhythm beckoned her forward to keep the groove going. Somewhere, some god or goddess was laughing their ass off at an elf dancing in a faraway world, inspired by bad movies like Saturday Night Fever, and Footloose. Or, whatever silly dance ensemble movie she¡¯d watched, long after the shop closed for the evening, in the coziness of her old apartment. ¡°I-I¡¯m dancing with the heroine of Fiefdala!¡± the man exclaimed, as if he couldn¡¯t believe what was happening. ¡°Nah, on the dance floor, I¡¯m just Miss Swiftheart,¡± she added with a coy smile, and tapped a finger on his vest, ever so gently. The exaggerated motion caused the poor young man with the ochre-colored eyes to wobble and land on his rump¨Cand tail, judging by his howl of pain. This was met with laughs¨Cand a few cheers¨Cfrom his wingmates, who all waved to Fiona, who gave the prone man a little curtsy. ¡°Gotta work on your moves there, kid! Come find me when you can keep up!¡± She helped him to his feet, where he gingerly rubbed his backside. He gave her a firm salute. ¡°I¨CI will!¡± he shouted out, but she was already working through the crowd, and the rest of the night blended away. And her audience of one was not happy to see her guide this room into an upfunk beat when she waved to King Barry, who had been observing this spectacle from above. He leered at her from his perch on the second floor. She figured the guy didn¡¯t know how to have a good time, and that blonde beach bunny was also glaring at her. She just gave her an enthusiastic wave. She got a two-finger salute from her¨Coh, the bunny had teeth, huh?Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. Bitch. Just wait till I finish up. She knew that woman might be even more trouble than Barry. She could feel it. It was a hanging weight in the heart on her wrist, when she gazed at her. Fiona had a term she coined for it: A heart filled with lead. The night waned on, and eventually, even Bonnie ran out of energy. Greg motioned for the two friends to sit down even as Fiona giggled from just a tad too much excitement, and they sat back at their table. Greg sat in the middle of them, talking quietly with Bonnie, who was getting quite flirty with him. Where that went, was Fiona¡¯s guess. ¡°So, Greg, I was thinking¡­¡± Bonnie said as she put a hand to her chest¨Cand goodness, the valley was broad on this girl''s dress, at the moment. ¡°I think we should get out of here, and go finish up this party over at Fi¡¯s place. What do you say, dear?¡± ¡°My goodness, have you ever run out of energy?¡± Fiona laughed and took a sip of water from a pitcher at the table. Ice mages must have been working overtime to get all the beverages chilled like this. ¡°Nope! I have plenty of energy for another round, just need another five minutes,¡± she giggled, and leaned on Greg¡¯s shoulder. It was adorable to watch Greg get all flushed, and not have the daring to move a muscle. ¡°Say, Greg. what do you think?¡± ¡°I think it¡¯s late, aaaaand¡­perhaps we should retire for the evening. If I know Jake, he¡¯ll have this grand ball going all night. In no small part, due to Miss Swiftheart¡¯s ¡®sick nasty moves¡¯ on the floor. In her own words.¡± Greg¡¯s lips finally creased into a smile. Finally, this guy cracked! He can have a good time, after all! Fiona leaned in. ¡°We could go back to my place, borrow a bottle of wine I¡¯m sure no one will miss here, because my goodness, there¡¯s so many of them,¡± she added. She pointed to a few opened bottles on the other side of the table, where a few guests had been having a good time. They must have departed earlier, and there was one corked bottle, untouched. ¡°Oh I have a proposal! We¡¯re going to be opening soon. We should celebrate¡­and I wanna bring Darla!¡± ¡°Oh, that¡¯s a killer idea!¡± Bonnie recalled with a snap of her claws. ¡°Behind those shark teeth is a heart of gold!¡± ¡°I know, right?¡± Fiona edged in, and Greg got all flushed while she talked to Bonnie¨Calso practically draped over him. ¡°Besides, she was one of the first people I met, besides you guys!¡± ¡°Are you¡­um¡­¡± Greg trailed off, as if unsure how to finish his sentence. ¡°Greg, this might surprise you, but I have interests beyond striking studs. I¡¯ve been so busy the past six months that I really haven¡¯t gone on a date! I mean, not one that wasn¡¯t a casual one-off,¡± she added as an aside. ¡°I think you treat them as conquests,¡± Bonnie teased, looking as sleek as ever. ¡°Careful, dear. I might break my rule where I take interest in the people I work with,¡± Fiona cracked, though her friend¡¯s eyes did light up a bit at that mention. ¡°Key things to know about me, I sleep in on weekends, I will steal all the covers on the bed, and I will make breakfast in the morning! I¡¯m a classy kind of girl.¡± ¡°You are truly, one of a kind,¡± Greg admitted, before peering at an unopened bottle of wine on the table. ¡°Tell you what, let¡¯s save these bottles for tomorrow night. What plan did you have with Darla?¡± ¡°My place, and dinner. Just casual. I¡¯d hate for King Beardless to be creeping in on me in public somewhere, and if Tucker didn¡¯t maul him alive at the apartment, Granny would,¡± she added with a confident laugh. ¡°Alright guys, let¡¯s go say our farewells!¡± She did manage to snag back the arcane amplifier, and Jake let her, she was filled to the brim with the confidence of the evening, and her voice carried sparks of it. ¡°So, guys, here¡¯s the deal, thank you, everyone, for coming out, it''s been a pleasure to celebrate this fine evening with the real heroes who keep Fiefdala safe!¡± she called out with an electric spark. The crowd cheered, and a few of the younger guild members swooned. When was the last time someone swooned for her? ¡°Anyway, as a reminder, come Lunesday, go drop by Perrier Way at our new shop! Tell your friends, tell your families, tell your work friends! We want to show that we honor the roots of our success, and we want to dedicate that day to them!¡± Fiona called out to raucous cheers. She peered upward, and saw Barry in his little crow nest, leering at her. She smiled widely, and pointed to him. ¡°Also, be sure to thank King Barry, wave and say hi, so that he knows the guild¡¯s got the Kingdom¡¯s back when times get tough!¡± she shouted, and the crowd went wild with applause. Barry¡¯s eyebrow twitched at this ¡®being killed by kindness¡¯ strategy, and Fiona laughed. ¡°Swiftheart, out guys! We¡¯ll see you then!¡± ¡°Always bringing the house down, Fi,¡± Jake said with a hearty laugh before she hugged him. ¡°I¡¯ll be there for the opening. I¡¯ll see how many others I can scour up. Bound to be a few.¡± ¡°Aw, you¡¯re too kind, Jake. Don¡¯t worry, I won¡¯t be a stranger after I¡¯m running a business,¡± she assured him, before departing out the hallway¨Cand grabbing more of those sausage sandwiches on the way out. She did want to stay a little longer, but she knew they¡¯d have plenty of work to do, soon enough. After saying farewell to Nick, Cita, and a few others, she noted all the coaches were gone. She glanced at Bonnie and Greg, with a scuff of her shoe. ¡°Well, guess we¡¯ve gotta walk. Man, I¡¯m so glad I don¡¯t wear high heels, I¡¯m tall enough now that I don¡¯t even need to bother. Thank you, sprightly long legs!¡± She called out with a small skip and a roar of triumph. ¡°Fi, where does all this industrious energy come from?¡± Bonnie queried as they walked along the stone walkways, underneath the glow of arcane lanterns and the overhead moons, and the city skyline was visible to them, with the palace towers just barely visible. ¡°An upbeat attitude, and shedding regrets, Bonnie. Or is it a medical condition? I dunno, jury¡¯s out on that last one,¡± she shrugged. They reached an intersection where Bonnie would normally head back to her shared apartment, and Greg took a shared shoulder with Bonnie, who cooed at this gentlemanly grace and professionalism. ¡°I believe Fiona would also do the honors, regardless of what one was brought up to believe was ¡®gentlemanly¡¯, Miss Revere,¡± Greg responded to her with a quiet smile, and Fiona gave him a tap on the rump to get him moving. Bonnie took the hint and led him along, skipping and humming, while Fiona worked her way back to her apartment, upbeat and looking forward to tomorrow. After tomorrow, it was working time, and plotting to put eggs on the King''s face. And maybe literal eggs, but that might require a fair deal more effort to not get caught at it. But, a nagging thought entered her head, ever since her tense chat with Barry. It bothered her more than his smug attitude. Why had his father not returned her calls? Rikkard had to know she would be pissed, had he known about it. She played out the possibilities in her head, her apartment in sight. One, Barry stuffed him into an early grave and was now trying to cover his ass, before the truth came out. Two, Greybeard was hoping to raise a proper successor, and was willing to let Barry fail, as a teachable moment. But given what Barry had been doing, she doubted even his patience stretched that far. Or the most disturbing theory, she''d read Greybeard utterly wrong for months, and he was an utter jerk. In which case, she should go give Douglas back his treasure. Then she''d bounce out of town with her friends and cat, as an utter rebuke. Douglas might make a better friend, at least he''d been honest, though that might require a slight apology for making him a dragon pinball. Four... She stopped mid-stride for a second. What if Rikkard screwed up something badly, and was willing to let his son take the fall for his misdeeds? Or worse, his son was his only winning move? She had to get answers. That last possibility had dire implications if it were true. The amount of liquid assets was astronomical. Only two types of people involved would ever need liquid assets that high: Bankers, or mage criminals. Vol. 1, Ch. 24: Staying Classy Fiona woke up in a tangled mess, but clear-headed after a very eventful night. Her limbs were sore, but it was the kind of workout sore she expected from a night of aerobic activity. She felt great¡­ Except, for the massive feline trying to sleep on her head. That was uncomfortable. Tucker was purring like an infernal engine, pawing gently at her head. ¡°Tucker, get off,¡± she grumbled, and pushed the big cat away. He sparked her with just a tiny bit of energy. She swore that the cat snickered when he stretched and cozied up to the empty spot of the bed, kneading into the comforter. She frowned at him before she threw off the covers. Aside from some last-minute preparation at the shop, she had a free day, and a get-together with her friends. One last night, before the next challenge. Hmm. Maybe I would like to hang out with her as a more than friends kind of thing. She paused to think about that. In her last life, she hadn¡¯t really been into¡­anyone, except for one person. Maybe a few crushes in high school, but she-- She shook her head. There was no point. The last time they''d talked, it had been pretty clear where things stood, and it was a bitter moment she was better off forgetting. "You need to pick me, or that failing store of yours, Fiona, because you''re going to lose both!" Her ears flinched at that last ultimatum. She''d made a bad choice. And she knew it. She couldn''t do that again. She couldn''t make those same mistakes twice. However, she had to stop to think of her current situation: It was, by any measure, utter insanity. She was a rocking hot elf chick who had started steamrolling most issues with a comically oversized hammer. She was about to go on a date with a demon chick who made coffee for a living. Her biggest nemesis was a blonde vulture, inexperienced king who she would thumb her nose at, for every inch she could get. She laughed out loud and startled Tucker, who looked like he might launch himself into the ceiling for a second, all tensed and wild-eyed. ¡°Oh dear, Tucker, I¡¯m sorry. It¡¯s just¡­it¡¯s a little funny, how life changes so fast,¡± she assured the cat with a few strokes down his back, and he started purring again and nestled down. Near-instantly asleep. That cat was something else. She didn¡¯t didn''t have to go run a last-minute check on the store until later, so she grabbed some fruit and fresh baked bread that Granny had dropped off, after exchanging greetings with her. While she munched on her apple¨Cor it looked like an apple, except it was a bit more tart and the texture was very smooth¨Cshe sat down with the book Clarke gave her. She¡¯d been a fast learner all her life. A lack of boobs in her prior life and astonishingly average hair didn¡¯t do her any favors, so she played to a certain level of nerdiness and tact. Skills that right now were useful, in the place of swinging oversized weapons and beating monsters into next Fall¡¯s fashion line. The book was also amazingly dull. It read like old video game manuals, and was about as dry as possible. There was a list of common classes that people gravitated toward, and the list was lengthy. Engineer was a class¨Cas was artist, investigator, guard, soldier, laborer, and more. Though, some of their roles did overlap, to an extent. But Merchant of Fortune wasn¡¯t among any of the ones listed. There were appraisers, vanilla merchants, shady market dealers¨Cwhich she raised an eyebrow at because who on Cepalune would want to advertise that class¨Cand several other variants. Some could evolve if certain criteria were met. Possibly as a reward for dedication to a particular craft? Who governs all this? I know people talk about walking gods on Cepalune, but¡­I¡¯m woefully behind on the history of why. She flipped back to the beginning, frowning. There were numerous gods and goddesses listed, and faint, sketch drawn depictions of them. Some were exaggerated and more symbolic than others, looking like runic symbols. Others, were drawn to be¡­surprisingly human. A man as tall as a mountain, a confident smile, chiseled abs and attending to a celestial sized forge. Duralin, the god of forge and foundry¡ªfollowed commonly by dwarves, but others in the various industries of construction and metal craft also took a keen interest. Worship and faith, she read, did not govern who did, or did not get a class¡ªwith very few circumstances. She¡¯d have to brush up later. Some of them took the form of avian humanoids, dragons, fox spirits, raging balls of fire, shadowy creatures, there was no real rhyme or reason. Or, why were they scarce mentioned on the street. One thing all the classes did have, was a natural intuition of their basic functions. While people gave names to these abilities, they were not identical for any two people. Personality and natural talents could modify baseline skills into improved functions, or even brand-new functions. It gave her a moment of pause: She¡¯d been slaying monsters without a class, the whole time. She naturally knew how to react, dodge, swing, and deliver titan-felling blows by instinct. Where was all that skill in the last life? Well, I suppose monster slaying comes naturally. A giant Kaiju killed me, so it¡¯s the universe''s way of powering me up, to go back and kill that big scaly bastard. She grunted at that thought¨CEarth could be a pile of rubble for all she knew. She didn¡¯t know what could have happened. Even if there was a chance they¡¯d held out, she¡¯d been told it might be impossible to go back¡ªfor the time being. She went back to her studies, with Tucker rubbing his head against her leg. ¡°I wonder if animals have classes?¡± she pondered. ¡°You don¡¯t fit, cat,¡± she stated with an annoyed glare. ¡°Moooow.¡± He proceeded to pin her in the chair, and made ample use of the armrests to support himself. Now she was stuck here. She doubled down and kept reading. She came across the depictions of the various classes. True to Clarke¡¯s word, there were many common markings for classes. For most people, it was on their dominant wrist, left or right. For others, it could show up anywhere. It also could be moved by a force of will. She pondered why she¡¯d move it from her wrist. When she peered closer, she swore she saw the wings flutter on her skin for a split second, and the facets of the heart gleaned like a normal jewel. She blinked, and it was back to normal. ¡°What do you think Tucker, is mommy crazy, and got a super rare class by being dramatic?¡± Tucker responded with a soft kitty snore, and she tried not to giggle. She continued to look through some sample images. Coins, gold bars, contracts, pens, handshakes¨Cthere were numerous symbols for those who dealt in commerce and trade. But not one of them was a jeweled heart. She frowned and rubbed at it again. It was rather pretty. She wondered how that worked¨Cshe¡¯d been able to show Bonnie, because¡­she wanted to?A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation. That made sense. It was an intimate portrait of identity. As much as having a lithe figure and pointy ears. But didn¡¯t feel any different. It¡¯s not like she just signed up to be the goddess of commerce or something; surely, a ton of other eager eighteen-year-olds had done the same thing as she did, for flourish and flair. The tingling continued. She frowned and sat up. ¡°Alright, what¡¯re you telling me, exactly?¡± Tucker looked up, thinking he was speaking to her, but plopped his head back down when she didn¡¯t continue. She pondered the thought internally. I¡¯m a merchant. I know value. I know how to negotiate. I know how to inventory, organize, and barter. Merchants also know how to defend their value, so, maybe there¡¯s some combat utility in there, somewhere? I mean, I can beat up monsters for days, but that might just be my natural affinity. How rare is this? I already can carry gold like it weighs nothing. She sighed softly. Clarke had been worried for good reasons. Until she figured out more, she needed to keep this low-key. In the meantime, Fiona studied more about the merchant classes, and how they worked. One thing they all had in common, was an appreciation of worth. In coins, at least. She scoffed at that¨Cyou couldn¡¯t put a price on a piece of art, but you could abstract how much it would be worth to a collector, who would want its beauty displayed to the world. Evaluating prices was by intuition¨Cwith a certain gravitation towards an item''s true worth, regardless of familiarity with the object. This certainly tracked with her valuations of items. But, what about people? She¡¯d gotten strange intuitions of people¨Clight and floaty with people genuinely happy. And then, it felt like a lead weight, when she had looked at Glados. That had to mean something. How happy was a person? The richness of their soul, maybe? She laughed softly at that. If one could measure the worth of a soul, that could lead to some interesting intuitions of a person¡¯s mood. She¡¯d have to test that one out in the shop again. But as for physical value, she¡¯d had a knack for getting pretty close to the values Greg had called out for a few items, without formal training. Maybe she could get better at it. She turned the page for a historical note. They could be skilled negotiators, not just in finances. Indeed, merchants had been used as diplomats in trade disputes, or after ceasefires had been called in inter-kingdom disputes in previous years. That surprised her, a little bit. Wouldn¡¯t someone with better training in people management skills be more suited for that? It was late morning before she put the book down and got to work jotting down some notes on the store and opening plans. It was more busy work, but, it still had to be done. She hoped her little peace-out moment at the guild hall would attract people to the opening, and Jake never failed to deliver. She owed him a serious favor after this, no matter what he might say about the whole guild being in her debt. Except for Felix. He had so many orphans to sponsor for stealing her snacks. And probably from other orphans. After one quick round trip to the emporium to ensure everything was in order, she realized she needed food for the apartment¨Csomething she¡¯d neglected to notice, because this week had been quite busy. She walked through a stone alleyway between two buildings and emerged into the sunny skies with a few puffy clouds on the brisk autumn day, and a bustling market set up in a large square on the other side. All of Cepalune was up for display in the large commons area, set up as a recreational area for this small segment of town. Three access streets connected to the main streets, so carts could come through, but it wasn¡¯t a through-way like the rest of the streets. Folks of all shapes and sizes were meandering around, looking on in awe at imports from faraway kingdoms, while merchants schmoozed and hustled to get the best deals for themselves. Nearby, she saw a man with small tusks in his mouth pointing to a few shiny items on a soft cloth. His cute-as-a-button daughter jumped for joy at, pigtails dancing in tune with her movements. A few vendors were working meals on-demand, though the grills and fires were moved a bit further away from the through-fare. That last one caught her attention, with the sizzle of browning meat tantalizingly close by, along with a few sweeter-smelling cakes by another vendor. They were selling off their magical fired, oven-produced treats at record speed, with the perfect consistency. A tip jar by that vendor was generously loaded with copper, and even some silver coins¨Cquite a haul for a single day! That sweet cake never knew what hit it, so she dropped a generous silver on the counter and took one to go. The baker gave a warm smile and thanked her as she bit in. The texture was luxurious and smooth, and the cake had a balance of sweet bread-like filling, and just a tiny bit of tart on the frosting. An avian waved her farewell and popped in the fresh batter as she departed. She skipped to the tune of a market that carried a natural rhythm to its movements and sounds. Okay Fiona, focus. Don¡¯t get lost. What are you making for dinner tonight? She was an okay cook by any measure, but what could she make that would be universal? What was something that she hadn¡¯t seen done here before, and would be fun, and that she had equipment and magic for? Okay. Think. I was an Italian girl Or, an Italian elf. Wait, that makes no sense--whatever! It still means, pasta! And sausage. I don¡¯t think I could make gnocchi, because I haven¡¯t found a potato equivalent yet, though the tubers are close. But they do have wheat here, and flour! And things that are mostly chickens! She had a plan in motion, now. It took a few stops, but she gathered the necessary ingredients. As for splitting up the pasta, she could borrow one of the tools from Jarl¡¯s place. He did make the noodles. Or even little pasta wraps! She just hoped he had spares. After securing seasonings for a steal of a deal, she skipped back to Jarl¡¯s place, and walked in the door, where a fey bell rang as the door opened. She was greeted by the familiar scent of something salty, sweet, and aromatic as soon as she walked in, along with the clinking of utensils on plates, and a low murmur of enthusiasm completed the soundscape. ¡°Greetings, we¡¯ll be with you in a second¨Coh hey Fiona!¡± There was a flurry of motion as Laura, Jarl¡¯s wife came to greet her. She was similar, to Jarl in appearance, with a crest of white and blue feathers, green raptor eyes, and blue scaly skin just like her husband. Unlike her husband, she had a slender build¨Cand was quite a looker, even wearing an apron and with a pen stuck behind her ear crest. ¡°With that spring in your step, I almost heard you coming from down the block, you red-haired vixen!¡± ¡°Hey, Bonnie¡¯s the vixen, not me!¡± she protested, even as she laughed. ¡°I just came by to ask, could I borrow a noodle maker tool?¡± ¡°Ah, of course! With everyone demanding those noodle dishes that you make out of that rice mix, I¡¯ve had to order a bunch from the smith! He must love that he¡¯s raking in money for that,¡± she added with a sharp smile. ¡°Fi, you¡¯ve got good timing! I heard you were opening up shop in a couple of days. What have you got for the opening? Any appetizers, catering?¡± ¡°I, uh¨C¡± she stumped and frowned. Had she been going so fast, that she didn¡¯t even think about it? That could have been a massive stumble. Well-fed customers were also more likely to stick around and make purchases, the longer they stood in front of displays. It was a proven phenomenon, like how casinos did the same thing to keep people coming back. Given enough time, the house always won. But this wasn¡¯t a casino, it was an enterprise to make sure this dragon¡¯s loot was going to pay debts. Hopefully, it would also keep her gainfully employed for the immediate future. "Um, I might have goofed, Laura." Laura sighed and shook her head. ¡°Girl, you¡¯re as sharp as they come, so here¡¯s a proposal. I need to go out tomorrow, and get some supplies. Front me the money, and I can prep some extra little foodstuffs that¡¯ll win over people¡¯s hearts. What do you say?¡± She was banking on a small risk, but Laura was a saint, and her food was pitch-perfect. She counted out some coins, and handed them to Laura, who made sure to jot down the amount on her notepad. ¡°I need things that scream elegance, and fill stomachs. What have you got for that? I¡¯m thinking something fresh, something they can take to go, or come back wanting more. What fills that gap?¡± ¡°Oh! Now you¡¯re thinking!¡± Laura said with a smile and tapped the pen on her snout for a second. ¡°Hang on. Those meat slider things that you introduced me to¡­we should do those! Easy to make, easy to get the things I need.¡± ¡°Good thinking! I need something sweet, though. Hmm¡­maybe fruit cups of some kind?¡± she proposed. ¡°And something savory. Fried tubers, with some salt!" ¡°Hmm. might be worth a try,¡± Laura added as she tapped her notepad, before scribbling a few words down. ¡°Alright Fiona, I can work with this! A pretty penny for us, and I¡¯m sure there¡¯ll be satisfied customers for you!¡± ¡°Aw Laura, you¡¯re the best!¡± she beamed, and after a few more minutes of catching up, departed Jarl¡¯s diner with the noodle maker in hand. Now, she was ready for tonight. She just needed to slow down the jackhammer in her chest. Dinner with friends should not be this stressful. Vol. 1, Ch. 25: Casual Night In By the time she heard knocking at the door, Fiona was all set and ready, with most of the meal prep ready. She had put on a pair of cozy stretchy leggings and a knit sweater, which was proving quite cozy when she opened the kitchen window, to let in the fall breeze. An errant orange leaf blew in, and Tucker batted at it with keen interest, before taking off. She smoothed her hair and headed to the door; the first in line was bouncy Bonnie, gentlemanly Greg, and Darla, standing a tad above them and grinning with dagger teeth. She did remind her of a shark, though her golden eyes were brimming with a glint of life. She gave each of them a hug in turn and beckoned them in. ¡°So, I got a few things, and¨C¡± Darla instantly pushed to the forefront, to the kitchen, and took a deep whiff of air. ¡°Alright, I can tell you¡¯ve done one thing wrong,¡± she stated calmly. ¡°You started the sauce without me. I am shocked, Fiona.¡± She stammered in response. ¡°Well, the sauce does need time to reduce down¨C¡± Darla broke out in a mighty grin, and gave a waggle of her hand. ¡°Relax, I¡¯m just messing with you. Oh, but my goodness, this place is quaint! I just realized this is my first time here!¡± ¡°From what I know of Miss Swiftheart¡¯s finances, it is priced well below what Granny could charge for it. I think her landlord has a soft spot for redheads,¡± Greg said with a bit of wit that she wrinkled her nose at. ¡°Bah, let¡¯s not talk about apartments; all you need to know is that it¡¯s cozy, and it¡¯s fun! Let¡¯s talk about food! Darla, you¡¯ve been to Jarl¡¯s, and had the noodle bowl?¡± Fiona queried. ¡°Girl, I had that and tried to replicate it at home. Still working on it, I think Jarl has a secret recipe in his broth,¡± she stated with passion, fists held to the air. ¡°Damn lizard chef won¡¯t give me his secrets!¡± ¡°Shame, I don¡¯t know it either, though I gave him the basics for the idea. But I held a couple of things in reserve.¡± Fiona showed Darla the dough, which was already laid flat. ¡°So, this is egg, flour, and just a tiny bit of seasoning. All you need to do is boil in water for a few minutes. I have a separate filling I''ve prepared." ¡°Oh, my. Hope your planet doesn¡¯t plan on stealing you back, I might have to pick your brain for some ideas!¡± Darla declared as she showed off with a flourish of knife skills, and cut up a loaf of fresh bread. ¡°Now, what is that sauce? I smell¡­hmm¡­might be a tomatillo, and some other seasonings, and maybe¡­what meat is that?¡± ¡°Sausage? From a boar,¡± she added hastily. ¡°Pretty cheap to get, but also immensely rewarding, if seasoned and cooked well. It absorbs the flavors of the sauce, too. I seasoned it earlier to get the flavor to soak in.¡± ¡°I thought her class was ¡®the merchant of fortune¡¯, not ¡®jack of all trades¡¯,¡± Bonnie quipped before sauntering over, nose testing the air, and letting out a squee. Fiona tried not to laugh at the sound, because it was quite high-pitched. ¡°Well goodness, that smells so good! Where¡¯d you learn this?¡± ¡°Well, short version? A lot of stuff is the same here as it is on Earth, and some things, not so much. The tomatillos are sort of like the tomatoes on earth, but they¡¯re a little spicy. I had to cut it with a little bit of cream to cut the heat, and the seasoning profile is a bit off, but¨C¡± She trailed off when Bonnie tried a bit from a spoon sitting on the side, and she made a satisfied trill. ¡°I¡¯m licensing you, girl! Jarl¡¯s not gonna get exclusives on all the recipes you bring here!¡± she stated with resolve. Darla leaned in and grinned. ¡°Not if I get to her, first.¡± ¡°Oh, it¡¯s on, coffee girl. You¡¯re lucky you¡¯re as cute as you are good at making beverages, I¡¯ll go easy on you,¡± Bonnie cooed with a wink. ¡°Aye, hey guys, not a competition we still need to finish making it,¡± Fiona interjected while trying not to smile like an idiot. ¡°Greg, your opinion?¡± ¡°I offer those only when I¡¯m on the clock,¡± he replied stiffly. He looked so uncomfortable in his casual clothes¨Cas if a pair of slacks and a vest and button shirt were his natural dress state! She needed to get this guy a hoodie to get cozy in, and relax. Bonnie, too. He tried the sauce and frowned. ¡°Hmm. A hint of more salt, I think. But, this is otherwise well balanced. Proof that a chef class is not needed to cook." ¡°I concur. Otherwise, it¡¯s a great effort!¡± Bonnie added while Darla was busy cutting the dough into small pieces, and Fiona showed her how to use a little bit of the leftover boar and a bit of filling to make small Raviolis. With a bit of egg wash, she sealed them up and placed them on top. ¡°Hang on, how¡¯s that work?¡± ¡°You seal up the dough wrap with just a touch of egg wash, with the filling inside. You have to boil it gently.¡± Fiona lit the stove with a fire wisp using a bit of her internal energy, and it got to work on heating a pot of water to a boil in short order. ¡°You can¡¯t cook them too long, or they fall apart. And you can¡¯t make the dough too thick, or the outside will be cooked, but raw on the inside. Lots of variables. This was what cooking was like for me, where I grew up.¡± ¡°I love the concept. I¡¯ve seen things like this, but typically only at high-end restaurants or large estates with dedicated staff. There is technical know-how to make these required,¡± Greg concluded and jotted a note. ¡°Why are you trying to run a business Fiona, when you could do this? I mean, minus the current¡­issues.¡± ¡°I like cooking. But, I was good at running my store. Crunching numbers, making sales. It ran a small store, selling some groceries, artwork, and various artisanal efforts. I also moved a ton of locally made produce and goods.¡± She stirred the sauce and felt that flood of good memories return. ¡°Ah, it was an experience. It was long hours, sorting logistical issues, and fighting through tough times. Maybe I look at it more fondly in the rearview mirror, so to speak.¡± ¡°I like my mirrors on the ceiling, to be honest,¡± Darla quipped. An emergent grin from her had Greg coughing to pretend he didn''t hear that, and Bonnie was in stitches laughing. Fiona blushed redder than the almost-tomato sauce. ¡°A bit much, Greg? We¡¯re adults here.¡± ¡°Hah! According to mum, I¡¯m still a kid,¡± Bonnie said between laughs. ¡°Ah well, it¡¯s good to see that you at least had a passion, back then!¡± They continued to talk, and Bonnie broke out the wine bottle a little while later while everyone took turns in the kitchen. The room filled with the scents of freshly cooked goodness, and after a little while, they sat down, enjoying the meal. Everyone commented on it, and Darla said she¡¯d have to send this idea back to her dad when she got the chance. ¡°So, seriously, Earth had no magic? I¡¯ve heard of a few summonses mentioning the place, at least from the mage periodicals,¡± Bonnie said pointedly. ¡°I did research it a bit when you told me. What a thing to behold! A world with no magic?¡± ¡°Well, some, as we¡¯ve learned. Mages must have come out of the woodworks when the Armageddon was getting its funk on,¡± Fiona replied dryly. ¡°But for most of us, we didn¡¯t need to stab ourselves with magical quills to get jobs.¡± She wondered if she could ask in present company what their mark looked like. Maybe it was too personal, she knew Bonnie¡¯s of course, but not Greg¡¯s But, six months in, she was learning things, though it wasn¡¯t too far off from earth culture¨Cjust with magic, hereditarily assigned kingdoms, monsters, and a world shaped far differently by magical influences than an industrial revolution. She decided to ask a little more informally on this one, with Bonnie knowing the truth at least. ¡°You gotta explain that one to me, who came up with that one?¡± ¡°Ah, mage school says that that¡¯s been the way it''s always been. I think they just used to use stone tablets before paper. Some kind of gift from the gods to fight the primal monsters¨Cand build a functioning society.¡± Bonnie glanced her way, her expression lively and intrigued. ¡°It''s been around forever. Some people only take one class. Others¡­man, they could make a tapestry of their markings. I guess it depends on your choices in life, ya know?¡±This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. ¡°So Bonnie, I know you said you¡¯re a mage, but, how many mages are there? Forgive me for not asking about it earlier.¡± She knew she specialized, so, there must be far more than one. ¡°All kinds,¡± she breathed. ¡°Each of them has their study courses. Though you can mostly break it down into several distinct categories. I picked enchanting because it spoke to me. I can still do general magic, like you. Everyone has a little bit, but mages have more. You could add being a mage to being a merchant,¡± she added with a coy smile. ¡°If I wanted to become a mage, it would be so I could wear one of those spiffy, wide-brimmed hats you wear,¡± Fiona called out, and Bonnie chuckled. ¡°You know, that¡¯s just fashion, you don¡¯t need to be a mage to wear one of those. But it has those little cutouts for my ears, and it sits all super cozy! Plus, it keeps the rain off with a repelling ward. Ugh. Have you ever seen a soaking wet kitsune?¡± she asked casually. ¡°Well, you got dunked in the pond one time by Jake,¡± Fiona suggested, and that pouted muzzle from Bonnie suggested it was not, in fact, as fun a time as she believed. ¡°Yeah, if we plan on going swimming, it¡¯s for a while. It takes forever to dry my fur. Even with a utility spell, I look like one of those fuzzy kids'' dolls,¡± she added with a groan. ¡°Still, it¡¯s great to be able to run around during fall and winter with just shorts and a light shirt. Meanwhile, everyone else is bundled up. Though if it gets cold enough, I¡¯ll be dressed in as many layers as everyone else.¡± ¡°Okay, now I¡¯m jealous,¡± Fiona counters with a grunt. ¡°Fall is my favorite season. But I do like sweaters! And those green things fruit things¨Cthey aren¡¯t apples, but it can be juiced down into some kind of cider that Laura has at McFly¡¯s now. The weirdest experience is finding analogs. Some stuff is similar, but a lot of stuff isn''t," Fiona concluded. ¡°Those seasonal fruits you mentioned are Valilios, they¡¯re tart, little sweet fruits. I love the cider that Laura makes. Chefs always look for inspiration from others," Darla said while leaning back, after having finished the meal. ¡°Believe it or not, I keep my ears to the ground, looking for the next trending beverages. It¡¯s how I stay ahead. Plus I talk to other baristas, and see what¡¯s selling at their shops. I know this cute elf guy, with his shop by the park. He says the nobles like a more elegant cold brew. Got my little ice wisps handy for that, chilled to perfection!¡± ¡°Ooh. I like this idea,¡± Greg chimed in. ¡°My mother always made a cup in the morning for my sister and me in our early teens. It just became a routine for me. Less pleasant, were the rest of the family." ¡°Ah, that explains your daily patronage, I should be thanking them for the extra silver,¡± Darla smiled while tracing a finger around her wine glass, making a slow ringing sound. ¡°Fiona, what else is going on in this emporium? You¡¯ve got Bonnie¡¯s shop, but what else will you bring in?¡± ¡°Been giving that some thought. I had some ideas. But I need connections and people. The unifying theme is to cater to mid to high-end clientele, essentially adventurers with gold burning a hole in their pocket for equipment. But long term, I do have some ideas. Something like the store I had back on earth. A more generic rollout of local goods, while still offering goods to adventurers. I mean¡­I plan on running this place even after the current issue is resolved.¡± ¡°Pivoting markets could be risky,¡± Greg cautioned. ¡°Specializing can secure a reliable clientele, long-term.¡± ¡°Yeah, true. But, I¡¯m also very good at moving things that are not easily moved. We want a spread of clientele so that if one group is stumping, the other is booming! Diversification!¡± Fiona stated with enthusiasm. ¡°We want a store that people go to as a hangout, a place that is part of the community! It¡¯s why I put that call to Jake¡¯s guys! People from all slices of life join the guild! Anyway, I¡¯m going on a tangent. So, thoughts on dinner?¡± ¡°The meal was great. I¡¯ll take the delicious elf to go,¡± Darla said with a slow lick of her lips, and Bonnie nudged Fiona less than subtly. ¡°You know who I don¡¯t know much about? Dear little Greg here, even as often as he visits my little shop. He sits back, does his coffee meditation thing over the latest periodical, then gets to work, being Fiona¡¯s assistant!¡± ¡°Well, we are in a business partnership, but I still do accounting work on the side. She''s just the one that requires the most one-on-one attention,¡± he said with a puff of his chest. ¡°Aw, you love me Greg,¡¯ Fiona said while leaning on the edge of her hand, grinning at him lazily. ¡°Tell us something we don¡¯t know!¡± ¡°Well¡­hmm¡­¡± he pondered this for a few seconds and leaned into the group, eyes lit up with interest. ¡°Alright. One little thing. I used to be an enthusiastic explorer before I took up the trade as an analyst. That was shortly after I left home." ¡°Oh, spill it! It¡¯s story time!¡± Bonnie perks up¨Cand her ears, too. ¡°Were you just like Indra Janes?¡± ¡°No, I was not. It was quite boring. It was a lot of paperwork. I found that the lifestyle did not suit me. Scribing math gave me some satisfaction, and in fact, I do bookkeeping on a few other clients. Sadly I must keep some level of discretion, as they may have a rival,¡± he added with a soft smile. ¡°Did you raid any temples of doom?¡± Fiona inquired. ¡°C¡¯mon, you make it out to be boring, but I bet it wasn''t!¡± ¡°Well, there were a few expeditions. But documentation of failed civilizations is a lot of work. Many have not, in fact, just left giant treasure hoards lying around. Most were raided long ago. The elves had an ancient city in the forest the trees grew over in Verdask, just east of Fiefdala, and had nary a treasure. But those trees just grew up and over it. It''s utterly fascinating,¡± he concluded. Eventually, she along with Bonnie managed to coax a few more details out of Greg, including a fallen sky city, and even a Dwarven ruin. Those had been all mathematically forged, and highly engineered, much to his delight. But as much fun as they were having, the evening drew late, and everyone slowly got up. ¡°Fi, how are you spending the last day before we open? Should we go over any details?¡± Greg asked. She shook her head and smiled confidently. Meanwhile, Tucker pinned him in his seat and proceeded to stretch out. It''s like that cat could always sense the mood in the room, and Greg was his cushion. ¡°Nah. We should rest up, and relax during the day. Everything is waiting for us, I''ll do one last run tomorrow,¡± Fiona told him. ¡°Bonnie, your kiosk, is it ready?¡± ¡°Ready as it''ll ever be. You know, if you sell any fancy armor or weapons, we could make a package deal! Bundle purchases for upgrades at a discount!¡± she suggested. ¡°She''s got a point. Offer the service, and tack-on become routine,¡± Darla said with a stretch of her well-toned arms and a toothy yawn. ¡°I have to be up early for my shop, as it were. Some people are early birds,¡± she added with a smile at Greg. ¡°Get the work done early, and out of the way, and you''ll always be ahead,¡± he stated with a calm veneer. ¡°Well, I''ll start a log book. I needed to track down an appraiser for the items, many in storage are assessed far too high.¡± ¡°I''ll come with,¡± Bonnie chimed in. ¡°Alright, you early birds! At least let me walk you out!¡± Fiona led the way out the front door and down the flight of stairs, where Bonnie and Greg gave her a quick farewell before taking off down the cobblestone path. Darla frowned when she looked at the mechanical watch on her wrist. ¡°Ah, hells. I have the shop opening tomorrow. One problem with owning the place, eventually, I¡¯ll have to hire someone if I want a break. I have one girl who''s decent, but needs a little more training." Darla¡¯s tail more than gently wrapped around her as she walked her down the stairs. Fiona thought she was tall, but Darla was still a hair taller. ¡°So¡­¡± Fiona started. ¡°Did ya have fun?¡± ¡°Oh, it''s been a blast. I still get funny looks on the street on occasion, the blue skin and horns thing,¡± she shrugged. ¡°So, I haven''t had too much of a social life. Thanks for the invite, by the way.¡± ¡°Aw, it was nothing. I''ve been buried with work or the guild before that, sometimes it''s good to set that stuff aside for a night.¡± Darla¡¯s tail uncurled and just nudged her ear, and she blushed. ¡°Guess that thing has a mind of its own, huh?¡± ¡°It''s a mood,¡± Darla laughed. ¡°Though I''ll be forward with ya, there''s a guy I¡¯m seeing right now, otherwise, I would be taking you home with me." She more than blushed at that. "He''s decent. He''s also reliable. But, when you get summoned once, you get a little defensive. I still like hanging out with you and Bonnie and Greg, you guys are a fun bunch! Whatcha think, I want us to all hang out again sometime. There''s the harvest festival in a few weeks, on the weekend, out by the fields just outside the city. It''s a blast, you''d have fun!¡± Darla proposed with enthusiasm. Fiona did want to pout, but, she did like Darla''s honesty. She wasn''t sure if she knew what she wanted just yet, and her status as a bit of a flirt had been established. She did manage a smile¨Cit was still good to have friends from all over. Plenty of sharks in the ocean--grr, enough with the puns Fiona! she reprimanded herself internally. ¡°Yeah, we¡¯ll be there. See ya at the shop tomorrow. I may need another one of those frozen emperor treats,¡± she added while rubbing her hands together. Darla rolled her shoulder blades and smiled. ¡°Well, I''ll be there. Catch ya soon, Fi.¡± Tucker had to nudge her as she saw Darla catch up and go give Greg a scare like a land shark, complete with a musical note. She laughed heartily at that and smiled. Maybe she had a few regrets from her old life she needed to sort out, and followed her cat back inside. Dealing with Barry and a barrage of customers was going to be her immediate concern. There would be plenty of time for fun, eventually. The real challenges were about to begin--running this shop, and finding a new center for her life. She hoped, that she would find it.
Newly Broke Heroine, Volume I: End of Arc I Vol. 1, Ch. 26: Grand Opening, Part One This was it. This was the big day. Fiona got up early, before the sun was even up, and pushed the heavy cat off her covers, where he growled a little before grabbing her still-warm spot on the bed covers. He curled up tightly with a small huff, and a wiggle of whiskers. In the meantime, she looked at one of the two outfits she''d picked out¨Ca super flirty shirt, jacket, skirt, and stockings. Or another shirt, a little more formal looking, and the tawny brown jacket that she liked, plus the green tie and vest, and a pair of leggings. ¡°What do you think, Tucker? A little window into the business assets, or proper businesswoman?¡± She looked down at herself; she was shapely enough to fill out a dress, but she frowned at the idea. ¡°Nah. Let''s save that for another day. Cute tie and vest, it is!¡± A few minutes later, she was dressed and locked up for the day. Grannie was already attending to the fall flowers, and doing a little tidy work. ¡°I''m off Gemma, I need to slay sales instead of monsters now!¡± she called out cheerily. Gemma laughed even as she wiped a bit of dirt off her hands. ¡°You''ve got this, dear! Don''t let that beardless wonder get you by the ears!¡± ¡°Wouldn''t dream of it¨Coh Tucker, mind the mud!¡± She sighed as the large cat nuzzled up against Gemma, purring and trying to get back scratches, to which Gemma obliged. ¡°No, you giant goober, she''s gotta work, and so do I!¡± The cat gave her a pouty look before yawning and plopping down by Gemma¡¯s feet, with his tail lazily swaying back and forth. Gemma took that as her cue and gave him a scratch on the head. ¡°Guess we know who''s boss, surprisingly it''s not Fiona,¡± she called out teasingly. ¡°I''ll drop by later today. Are you all set?¡± ¡°As good as we¡¯re going to be. See ya then!¡± She headed off to the shop, hurried by the chill air filling her lungs, and the drape of low sunlight just creasing over the mountains. Hopefully, people didn''t show up too early. Surprisingly, she came across Darla, bringing a cart up the road loaded with coffee and equipment after having just left her shop. A short woman with cute brown hair tied back in a ponytail was working the booth¨Cshe¡¯d seen her a few times, and Darla was beaming. ¡°Morning, Darla! Where are you headed off to?¡± Fiona asked, sounding surprised. ¡°With your opening? I figured I''d park my mobile stand nearby and see if I could get some easy sales. Someone was telling me, they heard about the opening.¡± Darla stopped and flexed her arms, not even bothering with a jacket. The cold didn¡¯t seem to bother her, even with her wearing her trademark collared shirt and apron, plus a black tie. Ties were a fashion for women, in Fiefdala--and utterly underrated, back at home. "So, how''d they hear about it?" Fiona inquired. ¡°They heard it from his wife, from her friend, who knows a guy¨Cshort version, the word¡¯s out,¡± Darla continued. ¡°I mean, you are the hero of Fiefdala. So, people are curious.¡± ¡°Nah, I''m not the hero, just the girl who beat up a dragon. Also, how big do you think this crowd could be?¡± ¡°Dunno. This gets big enough, I might have to move in and set up a secondary shop! I was willing to put the part-time girl in the shop for a bit.¡± She turned her head to wave at the teen working her shop. ¡°Blake, I''ll be back in a while, if there''s a crisis, give my relay a buzz!¡± she called out over her shoulder. Darla was all lean muscle, and moved that cart as if it weighed nothing to her, and they made their way down the hill, to the lakeside streets. ¡°Well, I suppose this is a plus. A big crowd, big sales, will set a good precedent." Fiona loved watching the morning fog drifting off the still-warm lake, the way it seemed to steam up endlessly. The mist draped the nearby islands in a foggy mist that shone in the sun, still low on the horizon. ¡°Thanks for coming along, by the way!¡± ¡°Hah, I''m here for business, Fi. You''re a bonus of good company,¡± Darla replied as she steered the cart at the bottom of the hill, and turned to the lake walk. The mist clung to the shoreline, shining brightly as the sun went a little higher, and a few more crisp leaves came down. ¡°Hey uh, how many are you expecting?¡± ¡°Oh, I have no idea. We announced at the party a couple of days ago. Why do you¨Coh holy Fates.¡± Fiona stopped to stare at the crowd assembled by the front door. A few people from the Adventurer¡¯s Guild in blue and tan uniforms were busy adding a few decorations. But the crowd size was immense. There were dozens of people waiting¡ªno, low hundreds even! They ranged from nobles finely dressed in well-tailored suits and dresses to a few street kids running around, with parents scolding them to slow down. ¡°Uh. Well. I might have overdone it, for once,¡± she uttered, gazing at the crowd and bewildered by the turnout. She checked her arcane relay¨Cthey weren¡¯t due to open for over an hour, and this kind of crowd was already present. ¡°Uh, hey dear, guess you might be busy. A hot cup of darkling-fired coffee on a cool autumn morning might strike the fancy of this crowd.¡± Darla cracked her knuckles in response and offered a toothy grin. ¡°Oh, it is business time. Fi, you handle the crowd, they¡¯re here for your shop. And make sure to have a speech ready. I¡¯ll bring you a coffee when the crowd thins a bit.¡± ¡°Aw, you don¡¯t need to¨C¡± ¡°Girl, I need my cinnamon-flavored elves sharp on their senses!¡± Darla pushed back, even as she smirked. ¡°Go knock ''em dead, Fiona! I mean, not literally, it¡¯s a figure of speech! We darklings are hard! I mean, we play hard! Wait, that wasn¡¯t any better!¡± Darla sputtered as she tried to get the saying right, and was now blushing a very artistic shade of plum. Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°Uh-huh. I do love it when tough girls have a soft side,¡± Fiona retorted slyly, which spawned more stammering. ¡°Alright dearie, I¡¯ve gotta set up shop with Bonnie and Greg, have fun!¡± ¡°Will do! Alright boys, it¡¯s chilly as all hells out here, who wants some coffee, fresh from the stand?¡± Darla asked confidently. A few people in the crowd broke off, clutching their coats tightly against their frames and moving in her direction, already calling out requests. Fiona in the meantime was busy trying to count the crowd¡ªover a hundred and fifty. She used to be good at estimating mass numbers, and more were likely to turn up. She grabbed her notes and gave them a quick read before people realized she was headed their way. Fiona skipped along toward the front, before stuffing the notes away. One man recognized her¨Ca regular at McFly¡¯s place, and pointed her out. ¡°Hey, there¡¯s the girl of the hour!¡± the gray-bearded man in a leather jacket called out, with his signature salt-and-pepper hair. ¡°Fiona, aren¡¯t you supposed to be slaying monsters?¡± ¡°I was. I rehabilitated the monsters to not take a bite out of people, so now I sell stuff!¡± she replied cheerily, and the crowd parted for her with friendly waves and cheers. She spotted Bonnie already inside, setting up, and Greg helping her. Bonnie wore a sleek blue dress that appeared a bit more modest, with intricate windings around her digitigrade legs. Jake was also inside, helping with his height advantage. She opened the lock and took a deep breath. This was going to be a busy day. ¡°Holy hells, Fiona. Do you see the crowd?¡± Bonnie gasped, even as she worked to put a little more decor and flair at her station. ¡°I thought this was going to be low-key!¡± ¡°Who cares? Big crowds, big sales! And remember, ten percent of what we make gets tossed back to the guild, for all the work they¡¯ve done for us!¡± she stated while unpacking her bag and going over the proceedings. ¡°Jake seriously, your guys are the best. Why do we have a builders guild, when we¡¯ve got you?¡± ¡°Ah, we do small stuff,¡± he replied nonchalantly. ¡°You want cathedrals, summer retreats for Greybeard, or orphanages for underappreciated youth, you go to them.¡± ¡°Well, whatever happens, you guys have made this possible, in a way that even I couldn¡¯t have pulled it together in record time.¡± She fixed her hair in front of a small vanity behind the counter, counted the spare coins, made sure their receipts records were recording¡ªthen checked the stands one more time, to be sure they had everything they needed, and reserves in the back. Inventory was key. She ran through the items one more time and looked at the appraised values. Some, she figured, she could sell for a little bit more. ¡°Greg, that little vase that refills with water from a stored water elemental, five or six hundred?¡± ¡°Six-fifty,¡± he corrected. ¡°I evaluate based on the novelty of having a potable water supply, or a nice water flow for a Koi pond. Hmm. I¡¯d like one of those, actually.¡± ¡°You like fish?¡± ¡°I like the concept of having a small pond to appreciate the beauty of life,¡± he proposed. ¡°Besides, Koi could outlive me, if properly taken care of.¡± ¡°You know, I¡¯m convinced you¡¯re some lost nobility or something,¡± Fiona proposed while licking her lips and applying just a hint of makeup. She heard the ring of the door, and she saw Jarl and Laura come in, with a hefty set of wrapped packages and trays. Even Jarl was smiling¨Cthen again, with that many teeth, she understood why he wore the perpetual stern and stoic look. Even a smile could be unnerving to the wrong crowd. ¡°Fiona, wow, look at this place!¡± Laura breathed, and carefully set down a pack of food she¡¯d been balancing on her tail, and Jarl did the same, toe claws clicking on the hardwood floor. ¡°My goodness, How are you planning on utilizing this place? It¡¯s so big!¡± ¡°Room to expand,¡± she explained with a smile. ¡°At some point, I¡¯ll run out of dragon loot to sell. Oh goodness, you don¡¯t need to carry all that, let me help!¡± A few minutes later, they were all set up to accommodate the influx of guests, and Fiona glanced at the items up on display; Bonnie was going through a checklist, too. This day was as big for her as it was for Fiona¨Cto show that she could bring her enchantment skills to the forefront for the masses. She muttered incantations softly, and her workstation came to life with arcane power, in a hiss of steam and a whine of arcane conduits surging with light. She let out a toothy grin and a high-five to Fiona as the machine reached a high-pitched hum. ¡°Good to go here. I put in my advertisements, but, let¡¯s see where this goes,¡± Bonnie announced with a smile, and walked over to the rest of them. ¡°Hey, you know something, the past several months have been a blast, Fi. Let¡¯s make this count.¡± ¡°Oh, we will. Greg, you ready, too?" He nodded stiffly. "I''ve learned to trust you on the more eclectic things, Fiona. We''ve got this." There was no time for jittery nerves or too much coffee. She was a woman on a mission to succeed. She had to show her friends they chose right, when they believed in her. ¡°Jake, let¡¯s get this party started, shall we? Let¡¯s unlock the door and let them in¡­oh wait.¡± She pulled out her small wind-up wristwatch and checked the time. ¡°One minute.¡± One minute felt like an eternity, and as she looked outside at the brisk cool air and the deep blue sky, she wondered how she could approach running a business with this level of zeal. Was it her past failures? Was it to put a giant egg in Barry''s face? Was it to prove something to herself? All she knew was that the small icon on her wrist, the jeweled heart, felt a little empty. And hopefully, by running this place right, it would be a little fuller. She adjusted her shirt one last time, and tied back her hair to be stylish and pragmatic. ¡°Alright guys, it¡¯s time. Let¡¯s send them in.¡± As the doors parted, she prepared herself for great and unexpected fortunes ahead. Vol. 1, Ch. 27: Grand Opening, Part Two Fiona smiled proudly as she, Bonnie, and Greg came out with the crowd breaking into cheers. She motioned after a moment to hold their applause and cleared her throat. All manner of people were here¨Clizardfolk, kitsune of various orange and red shades just like Bonnie, a few elves, a large gathering of humans, and others she didn¡¯t recognize. Fiefdala was a true mixing pot of individuals¨Cand she was still trying to learn its varied history and culture. What she did know, was this: People here chilled out like everyone back at home, without much care for who everyone was. So, this should be easy. She took a deep breath, smoothed her hair, and motioned for silence, with Bonnie by her side. ¡°Thank you for coming, everyone! We¡¯ve got a big crowd here, so I¡¯ll keep the speech short!¡± She glanced at the attendees, and the keen eyes fixated on her team. A few elven children stood waist-high compared to their parents, looking on with dazzling bright eyes and crooked smiles. ¡°So, I came into the kingdom, and the first task I took was to be its hero! Now, I know, the poster board says ¡®looking for a hero¡¯ but I¡¯m sure that was not intended to be on the nose! Or muzzle. Or snout? Sorry guys, I¡¯m new to this speech thing!¡± she added, and elicited a few heartfelt laughs. She continued without skipping a beat. ¡°Anyway, so I want to give my thanks to everyone who helped me get here¨Cto Jake Fervier, the Adventurer¡¯s Guild heat, who taught me a lot of the tricks of the trade. That may have included how to intimidate threats, find lost treasure, escort nobles¡­and beat up giant monsters with a massive hammer. Oh wait, he didn¡¯t teach me that last part! But, he should take credit for being the inspiration,¡± she added with a sly grin aimed at him. He stood there as part of the crowd, with his muzzle set into a smug smile and he crossed his arms, looking proud. ¡°Now, thanks to the courteous donations of Douglas the Red¨CI mean, the dragon who tried to burn everything¨Cwe¡¯re trying to give back a little something, to the community! We want the adventurers who made this period of peace to be recognized, and we want to see to it that the next wave will be equipped for the future! The dragon had a bunch of stuff that I think will appeal to a lot of people. Treasure, intrigue, fancy equipment, and an odd taste for paintings. Those are in the back¨Caway from the kids,¡± she adds, and a few mothers tried to shield their kids'' eyes, out of instinct¨Cwhile the husbands'' hands drifted to their coin pouches. ¡°But, above all, I want this store to reflect the people who inspired me¨Cpeople from all walks of life. The people who helped explore, build, and defend Fiefdala, regardless of class, or stature, rich or poor! Along with my friend Bonnie, we¡¯ve dedicated this place to be a service and reflection of those who work hard to give this city and surrounding countryside an identity. A place where we all walk in the door, and we¡¯re greeted with a big, courteous smile!¡± She could see the excitement building in the crowd, and Bonnie gave her a subtle nod. ¡°Alright, alright, maybe a little more speech than I planned for. Bonnie, you¡¯re up!¡± The wily kitsune stood proud, and smoothed down her dark red hair, looking glamorous as ever. Alright, folks, for those of you who know me, I¡¯m Bonnie Revere, I¡¯ve worked with Fiona before, along with the Adventurer¡¯s Guild. True to her word, our store is about being of service to all members of the city, regardless of class. Just stay classy!¡± she quipped to a bunch of heartfelt laughs. ¡°So, Fi and I talked, and we wanted some synergy. If you make purchases at the store, we do offer a discount on additional rune work for appropriate items, so take advantage of it! As always, ten percent of our first-day proceeds go right back to the guild, so that we can inspire the next generation of brave youth that have made this country the beacon it is!¡± she announced proudly. ¡°Thank you, Bonnie. I''d also like to introduce Gregory Lockheed. He¡¯s the one who secretly makes the magic happen,¡± Fiona took over and gave a gentle nudge, where he tried to look a little less stiff. Even his smile was stiff¨Cshe needed to get this boy a training routine to look less stern! ¡°He¡¯s good with numbers and good with keeping me and Bonnie on track. So, that¡¯s our immediate staff, we¡¯ll be adding more as we go. Bonnie, my hammer doesn¡¯t do ribbon cuttings, mind helping me out?¡± ¡°With pleasure, Fi.¡± She put out a gentle wave of her hand, and motes of magic formed a small circle at her paws, with a light breeze arching forward. The energy intensified and she shot out a whirling torrent of yellow energy to the bronze signpost, now hanging by the front of the building. The emblazoned sign read¨Calong with the last-minute addition of Fiona¨Cas ¡®Fiona and Friends Emporium.¡¯ More telling, and the part that gave her a secret smile, was the small emblem of the jeweled, winged heart on the sign, that was now adorned on her wrist. She felt like it had to mean something important. No less prominent along with that icon was an intricate witch hat, and a scroll adorning the sides in a little montage, representative of her friends creating this venture, and risks, together. Upon contact with the magical beam, the bright brass sign made a loud clang sound, like a beautiful bell resounding through the morning. Small tapestries rolled up tight on the front of the building all unfurled simultaneously, covered in green and blue coloring, and flapped in the soft morning breeze coming off the lake. Everyone cheered as the doorways slowly opened, and Fiona waved them in. ¡°Folks, Fiona and Friend¡¯s Emporium is now open! Let¡¯s go inside and check it out; we¡¯ll have room to expand as we go! Grab a bite to eat, mingle! I¡¯ll be starting the showcase shortly!¡± Fiona announced. Slowly and well organized¨Cexcept for the few kids who darted in, laughing and playing some kind of race¨Cthe crowd drew in, with murmurs of excitement. Inside, it was well-lit by the arcane lighting, and the crowd quickly dispersed to the various displays. Many drew toward Bonnie¡¯s rune and other enhancements displays, along with some basic items that could be upgraded with a bundled package. Witch hats, basic clothing, and several armor stands of soft leather armor were there. She was already chatting away with her first customer: a young man gathering items for his first mission as an adventurer, looking for simple wards against slime monsters and other, less dangerous pest species. She was already deep in discussion, and giving a demonstration. Others drew to the main kiosk where Fiona had set up the register, which was warded against anyone but the proprietors or future clerks they¡¯d be hiring. In hindsight, she was placing a bit of emphasis on Bonnie and Jake¡¯s wards, but they¡¯d pulled this together in record time, so a few calculated risks had been taken. She didn¡¯t trust King Beardless not up the stakes with these ¡®payments¡¯ that needed to be made every month. Or payments including my soul. Suck it, King Douchebag. You have messed with the wrong woman. She thought, a smirk creasing her face. She showed people around to the kiosk, and Greg manned the spot, while she took them to her first display¨Csmall baubles and relatively common items that had been at the corners of the dragon¡¯s wealth. ¡°As you can see, we¡¯ve arrayed a variety of products. Selling to an elite clientele, though admirable, doesn¡¯t work for our long-term needs. So, we¡¯ve got a spread of products for adventurers and people of all walks of life. The land is filled with danger, and having the right tools means, everyone¡¯s day ends on a positive note!¡± she added with a finger jabbing at a price tag. ¡°Prices on these small things are fixed, I¡¯m not haggling, unless it¡¯s above a certain value. The rules are on the board,¡± she added as she pointed to the chalkboard hanging above the main register. Now, on the avenue of big-ticket items, follow me.¡±This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. She showed off a display case with an assortment of armor and went through her rehearsal. ¡°We¡¯ve appraised these items and their utility; some are quite useful! Take this little hat here.¡± She showed off a bowler hat dark colored with a narrow strip of white felt material and showed it to the crowd. ¡°Looks quite plain, doesn¡¯t it? Stylish for a night on the town, but watch this!¡± She pulled the hat over her head, and then yanked it down¨Cwhere the material stretched over her head and body, like someone draped a giant tent over her. It was pitch black for a second, and then she could feel her clothing shifting and moving on its own. When she pulled the hat up and over her head, people gasped at the change of dress. She was now wearing her alternate suit that she¡¯d set aside earlier in the day, having ¡®imprinted¡¯ it while wearing it before, and a few people cheered. Maybe the high heels had been a bit much, because she wobbled a bit and a young man caught her arm before she stumbled. ¡°Thanks, kid.¡± With a quick flourish, she repeated the process and returned to her vest, jacket, and slacks, and they all cheered on merrily. ¡°I call this one, the mobile armoire! A dress for all occasions, or maybe a disguise? It will work for non-metallic armors, or your favorite change of clothes! No one likes sleeping with wet, muddy, or otherwise stained clothes, amirite?!¡± ¡°Aw, I won¡¯t be able to bring my plate mail with me?¡± one wolven complained, though he still wore an enthusiastic smile. ¡°That¡¯s super convenient!¡± ¡°I know, right? Sadly the hat¡¯s not my style, otherwise, I might have just kept it. Now, as a reminder, it won¡¯t work with a ton of metal, and it won¡¯t work for just anything¨Cjust what you can wear. Now, if you want to wear spiky shoulder pads, I highly suggest you not sit down on this hat. You might not like that.¡± There were a few amused chuckles in the crowd. ¡°This one can be yours today! We rated it at a price of a paltry two thousand gold! If you are interested in details, I¡¯ll check you out at the kiosk up front.¡± She moved on to show another armor in the stands, and tapped the light leather set. ¡°Now this one is a little more intricate! Gregory had to consult a druid to see what was up with it. Turns out, only people attuned to trees, nature, and all that jazz can use it! I would demonstrate, but, ya know, not exactly something I can do. Do we have any druidly, down-to-earth types in the crowd?¡± she asked. ¡°I tend to some of the fruit-bearing trees on a large farm in the south. I commune with the elements,¡± one dwarf with a dark beard and soft brown eyes called out. He looked young, but his hands were weathered with callouses and showed subtle strength¨Ca man who had been laborious. ¡°Might be a tight fit for me.¡± ¡°Ah nonsense, it has an auto-adjustment enchantment! It¡¯ll fit a brownie or a giant! Might need to check on the latter of those two, haven¡¯t met many.¡± After a few moments of putting on the armor, the man flexed his arms gently, and checked the padding. ¡°Good fit. It¡¯s light, and it feels like a second set of skin, almost.¡± ¡°Alright, cool! Now, think of your favorite tree!¡± Fiona suggested and crossed her fingers. Magic always made her uneasy, like something could go horrifically wrong at any time. But she trusted Greg and his assessments, even more than her own. The man relaxed and closed his eyes¨Cand in a blink of an eye, his limbs contorted and his body morphed¡ªskin and leather became bark, limbs became limbs, and the rest merged into a very stubby apple tree, with a thick trunk. The leaves shivered and the limbs creaked lightly. Ah. This is a ¡®blend with the grove¡¯ enchantment. Very fine work. I feel natural in this form. The words seemed to come out of the air, and she saw one tree limb flex lightly as if stretching. I believe this would be well suited for one who spent a long time in the wilderness, to tap into the ¡®root¡¯ of what ails it. ¡°Gordy, that pun was so bad!¡± a tall male elf groaned, and put his palm to his face. ¡°Please tell me that enchantment goes both ways!¡± ¡°Oh don¡¯t be silly, I¡¯d never sell something that wouldn¡¯t have reversible effects! Please note we advertise only on known enchantments, and yes, we do indeed check for curses or hexes. Nothing like buying a new set of armor that falls apart the second it gets hit by more than a gremlin, or a wizard hat that tries to possess your soul and has this big, beady, demon-looking eye on the front! Yeah, spoilers, don¡¯t put those on.¡± Fiona tapped the tree limb, and the tree shivered lightly. ¡°From what I gathered from my assistant, just think ¡®true form¡¯ and you should revert to normal.¡± Yes. It is quite intuitive. The druid who did this knew their craft well. Within seconds, the stout dwarf reappeared where the tree had been¨Cthough there were now a few fresh red apples in the hands of a few eager kids, including a kitsune who took a big, hearty bite of the fruit. ¡°Oh dear, I left bits of uh, myself,¡± the dwarf stammered. ¡°I¡¯m sure it¡¯s fine,¡± Fiona assured him, and he gently took the armor off and placed it gently back on the stand. ¡°Thank you for the demonstration, mister¡­¡± ¡°Gordy. Or Gordon Freedmon, for formalities,¡± he added with a polite bow, and the crowd clapped and whispered excitedly. ¡°Miss Swiftheart, I believe my circle of druids could use an item like this, you have fortuitous timing. May we talk business?¡± ¡°Oh, of course! Everyone, please excuse me for a few moments, we¡¯ll continue the tour once I take care of this. Greg, can you assist them?¡± she called out, her heart filled with joy. Was this her first sale? It totally was her first sale. The place hadn¡¯t been open for more than a half hour, and she couldn¡¯t help but smile faintly. She did her best to remain calm, she was a merchant! She had to look her best and not grin like an idiot until the sale was final! She walked Gordy back to the kiosk and began discussing terms. ¡°Hmm. Three thousand, four hundred gold?¡± he asked with a frown. ¡°That is a steep price.¡± ¡°It¡¯s actually below market. Here¡¯s the breakdown,¡± she explained as she went through the math. First, for the basic armor set, compared to other leather sets, and the material which appeared to come from an Eteran stag¨Ca rare monster known for its fine leather, if properly cured, and its ability to blend into the trees almost seamlessly. She also detailed the ability and the extra ability to produce edible fruit while in that form. He tapped the paper, and frowned. ¡°You¡¯ve done your homework, Miss Swiftheart. But our circle does not have much gold. Not that much at once.¡± ¡°I¡¯m flexible. You can make a down payment now, and we can settle the difference over a period of time. We know that many people can¡¯t afford these items with that up-front cost; that¡¯s why we try to make it in reach of those who might not otherwise be able to.¡± She did have a minimum down payment to at least break even, and that was the tax amount that Greg assessed on the item. It was small potatoes compared to the bigger items. She waited while Gordy creased his fingers and stroked his beard. ¡°Hmm. there is much use for such an item, if not for me, then the grove in particular.¡± All the while, her wrist kept tingling¨Cwas her shirt that poorly made? She took a moment to roll back her sleeve, to see what was bothering it. She tried not to react, but her eyes widened in disbelief, all the same. Her heart''s wings were fluttering lightly. She squinted, and looked at, then back at the dwarf, still peering over the numbers. She didn¡¯t know why, but it was like this little symbol was trying to tell her something. But what?¡± Make the sale? She thought to herself. She was hoping to sell items flat-out, as it would be easier, but¡­if people could use these items, and make an impact now¡­ She felt a slight flowing warmth going from her wrist to her fingers. Almost as if beckoning her to make a handshake? Or, that she had carpal tunnel. Probably not the latter. Gordy glanced up and saw her hand extended. ¡°You know something, Miss Swiftheart? You seem an honest sort. I believe you live up to your namesake,¡± he added with a soft chuckle, and extended his hand to give her a firm handshake of leathery, but no less capable flesh. ¡°I can pay half now, half after the harvests. I believe we can use this to cull weak trees and strengthen others. Nature has a balance, as do you, it seems.¡± She nods politely and gives a beaming smile. ¡°I can work with this, Mister Freedmon.¡± that flutter became a flapping sensation, as if the heart was doing aerobic exercises on her skin¨Cwhat was up with that? Was this a good thing, or a bad thing? Either way, it felt good to make her first sale, and she motioned to Greg, barely able to contain her excitement. ¡°Greg, we¡¯ll have a delivery to make, we have our first sale. Can you finish the paperwork?¡± ¡°You got it, Fi,¡± he replied with a small smirk. ¡°Looks like your showmanship matches your battle prowess. Let¡¯s hope we use more of the former, less of the latter, from now on.¡± ¡°Me, too.¡± Both hearts fluttered now, and she felt filled¡­was it energy? Or just a general, warm fuzzy feeling, that this impossible task might not be so impossible? Time would tell, as she headed back to the crowd, eagerly awaiting the next demonstration. Not every day would be like this, but this was a strong start. Vol. 1, Ch. 28: The Merchant of Fortunes Trying to figure out how ¡®well¡¯ she was doing was still a bit of a mystery to Fiona as she charged through the day, with numerous guests coming through. Everyone was tasked to capacity. Business was moving fast, and they were slowly thinning the number of items. But they had plenty left to go compared to that horde of items and other fancy artistry work Douglas the Red had accumulated. Plus, a few effects she didn¡¯t need anymore were up for sale, that maybe someone else could use. Those boots of cheetah speed? The leopard print was so last fall. And she¡¯d tripped and damn near broken her ankles in the things. That had been the least graceful thing she¡¯d ever done. Right now, her focus was on a beastkin man who only came up to her waist with rabbit-like ears, beady eyes, and a twitchy nose. What was the term they called him? She wanted to say a bunny-kin, but that was too on the nose. Harefolk? Whoever came up with the names, must have had a good laugh at someone¡¯s expense. He was examining an item of interest to him. ¡°So, you¡¯ve got a problem with moles,¡± she stated calmly. She would never say a customer was wrong until they were harmfully wrong, but she could tell that sometimes, people had the wrong solution to the right problem. ¡°Why do you need this water orb?¡± ¡°Well, see, the thing is, they have burrows. They go deep. They attack the harvest roots and kill them from below, so even I can¡¯t reach them. I know, rabbits are supposed to make burrows!¡± he complained, and stroked one brown-furred ear gently. ¡°But it¡¯s tiring work, and we need practical solutions. These moles are as big as me!¡± ¡°Why didn¡¯t you hire a mage to take care of it? Or a druid?¡± she pressed. She¡¯d read the description of this device. It could generate water, and also remove water. But only standing water; It would not move ice, or mud, or blood, or other fluids. ¡°Mister Harrington,¡± she stated with a calm tone, knowing that pun was sitting right in front of her--she was going to start laughing if she thought of it too long. ¡°I would demonstrate this orb, except I don¡¯t want to make my store a swimming pool.¡± ¡°But, I need to know if it¡¯s got enough volume to flood their burrows! The way I see it, no burrows, no problems! They¡¯ll move on, or they¡¯ll be eliminated, once I flood them!¡± he insisted. ¡°Plus, using a fire mage, or poison, seems exceedingly unappealing. The moles do aerate the soil, and there is some benefit! But not at the expense of losing harvests!¡± ¡°Alright, but seriously, if this thing goes off, and you end up making your harvest field a lake, I don¡¯t want it on my head. I think I know a better item for this!¡± She motioned for him to follow, with loping strides. She opened the glass and metal display case and pulled out an item that might do the trick. ¡°Here¡¯s an item that might be a little less noxious.¡± It looked like a megaphone, but the cone was set with a small gem on one end, and a few buttons were inlaid on the side. ¡°This thing emits the sound of the primal fear of whatever living being is close by to it. Great for vermin pests and people easily pranked. Bad against anyone with magical mind shrouds or a strong will. It is different for everyone. For moles, it might be a hawk, or tunnel worms. I''m gonna turn it down to the lowest setting and aim it at you. Uh, do you have any heart conditions, anxiety, high blood pressure, or anything like that?¡± ¡°No,¡± Harrington stated, looking unimpressed. ¡°You sure? Normally, I''d ask you to sign a waiver¨C¡± ¡°Miss Swiftheart, I have seen many winters. There is little that can scare me,¡± he rebuffed. ¡°Out of curiosity, how do you know it works?¡± She let out a pained smile. ¡°Well, I tested it on myself, being the skeptic I am. Working retail has left me with ingrained business sense, and a primal fear of one phrase. It certainly delivered on that promise.¡± She sucked in her breath, and drew close to the skeptic with a dreaded look on her face. ¡°¡®I want to see your manager.¡¯ As soon as I heard that thing scream that out loud, I damn near pissed myself. Bonnie was in stitches. Then she scolded me, for being too daring for my own good.¡± ¡°Good heavens,¡± he gasped, and made a little circle symbol on his chest. ¡°Truly a terrifying thing to behold, in the realm of commerce.¡± ¡°Oooh, yeah. It froze my blood cold, even after hearing it so many times,¡± she sighed, and pointed at the thing casually. ¡°Are you sure you want to do this?¡± ¡°I need to know it works,¡± he insisted. She pressed a button after winding the knob down to the minimum setting, and it made a low humming sound. She didn''t hear anything, but Harrington''s ears spiked to the heavens. Then, he let out a scream. Bunnies should not scream, because it was utterly blood-curdling¡ªno, this was more to the level of ¡®the cries of the damned¡¯ in terms of sheer terror induced. It startled more than a few people nearby, staring at the terrified man. ¡°Goodness! The wife! It sounded just like her!¡± the man uttered weakly with quivering legs, and looked like he was ready to bound to the top of the display case. Fiona raised an eyebrow at that. ¡°Look, Mister Harrington, your life, your business, but that''s a very particular fear. I think this thing needs to be retested, I can''t sell you a buggy product¨C¡± ¡°I''ll take it.¡± Her eyes widened at the abrupt conclusion. ¡°How much?¡± ¡°Six¡­uh, five-fifty gold,¡± she stated with a strained smile. She could have gotten this guy for way more, but five hundred was right at Greg''s assessment. ¡°I can part with it for that.¡± ¡°Splendid! I''ll take it to go, no need to fancy wrap it!¡± He wiped the sweat off his face. Was it flop sweat, on account of the floppy ears? She couldn''t help but laugh heartily at that as she shook his hand. ¡°Ah, a pleasure doing business with you. I¡¯ll ring you up in a second.¡± Thus the day continued, with sales slowly starting to mount. She had a rough count, as the receipts kept flying while Greg transcribed everything on his arcanist notepad. It was the closest she¡¯d get to a tablet, short of a breakthrough in modern technology. But it was quite nifty to keep copies of everything they sold, for data analytics later. Greg loved his numbers, for sure. She pondered if truly clocked off the job. The crowd did thin a bit as the day went on, and the sun was lower on the horizon by the time she sat down for a break, the lake accented by the trees on the shoreline where picnics were held. She sat down at the kiosk and took a bite of still hot lunch that Laura had brought. The food had lost none of its potency, and she let out a sound of contentment. ¡°Mmmm. Greg, how are we doing over there?¡± she asked as he waved off another customer, and put in a few scribbles. ¡°Quite¡­good. I''ll have to run the numbers, but given the inventory, and the sales to date¡­it''s solid. Only a couple of hours to go. I need to invest in better posture,¡± he added, rubbing his back with a circular motion.Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more. ¡°Good shoes help,¡± she interjected. He raised an eyebrow at this. ¡°Working retail, on my feet all day? Get good shoes, with support and the right level of cushioning. Bend your knees a bit. You look like a scarecrow, Greg.¡± ¡°I do not,¡± he protested. ¡°It¡¯s just a stiff knee.¡± ¡°Did you get that from archeology? Or were you more than just a delver, back in the day?¡± Fiona asked casually. He glanced her way, and frowned. ¡°What makes you think that?¡± ¡°The way you talk. You didn''t always sit at a desk, Greg. Just like I didn''t, either.¡± She took another hearty bite of the meal, and wished Laura could make this every day. ¡°Want a bit?¡± ¡°I ate earlier. But, thank you.¡± He leaned back in the chair, just a little. ¡°I took a bad fall during one trek. I hurt my knee. Arcane healing gets you most of the way, but doesn''t cure everything. I notice it only when I stand for prolonged periods. What about you?¡± he asked. She returns the gaze to him. ¡°Well, I didn''t run the shop beforehand. I worked behind a counter. It took a while to get my place, to be honest. But, I learned so much of what I know from the middle-aged lady who ran the place. It was a¡­what¡¯s the word, a country store? It sold produce, and other food items. But it also had various curiosities and artisan items that people loved. We had fresh honey, preserves, local paintings of flora, and landscapes. I was the teenager, and an early twenty-something, that kept that place running,¡± she said with a hum of contentment. ¡°She reminded me of Granny, actually. Her name was Agatha.¡± ¡°You had someone to teach you?¡± he inquired. ¡°Yeah. I took knowledge wherever I could. I wasn¡¯t ugly, but I was¡­different.¡± she glanced down at herself, and a tangle of red hair draped down past her eye that she shook away. ¡°I also wasn¡¯t as strong as this. And I tried.¡± ¡°So, natural abilities were lacking. You sharpened your mind,¡± he concluded. ¡°I did. I also learned that being on your feet all day requires adjustment and good shoes.¡± She leaned on the counter and rubbed at a bit of dust, that had somehow been missed with a cloth from behind the counter. ¡°I thought I noticed you walk with a bit of a stiff gait, later in the day.¡± ¡°Well, that¡¯s part of it,¡± he offered. ¡°I did¡­try other careers, let¡¯s just say.¡± ¡°Gonna tell me about it? I¡¯ve known you for a bit, Greg.¡± He smiled faintly, and leaned back. ¡°Hmm. I feel like this one might require a bit more of a sit-down, Miss Swiftheart. Technically, as your partner, I prefer to insulate my personal life from my professional one. Nothing against you.¡± ¡°Greg, without you and Bonnie, I¡¯d have a whole lot less than this.¡± she waved to the shop, and took note of new customers coming in by the main door. She stole a quick look his way. ¡°Know what my mom always used to say? Don¡¯t be a stranger.¡± ¡°Not sure I know the relevance,¡± he shrugged. ¡°I¡¯m saying, it¡¯s impossible to keep the two compartmentalized completely. Now, pay attention, Greg. I¡¯m about to go make a sale,¡± she stated proudly and hopped to her feet, checking to make sure she didn¡¯t have any sauce on her lips. ¡°Greetings, welcome to the emporium! How can I help?¡± The tall man glanced around, and a young boy with dark hair and a small cap on his head next to him pointed at her. He was no more than six or seven and looked at her with sparkly amber eyes. ¡°Oh my, you¡¯re pretty! I saw the shiny signs for the store, you¡¯re the girl who beat up that big old dragon!¡± ¡°Uh, Greg, do I have admirers? That wasn¡¯t part of the gig,¡± she called out deadpan over her shoulder. He chuckled softly as he too, rose from his seat. The slight stiffness in his gait was gone, for the time being. ¡°It doesn¡¯t come with any job, Miss Swiftheart, it¡¯s something earned for acts of goodwill. Gendry, a pleasure,¡± he stated to the taller man¡¯s surprise, who smirked faintly and adjusted his tie. ¡°Gregory, a pleasure. It has been a while. I heard you were working with Miss Swiftheart, I saw the note about the grand opening. Was it a large opening?¡± he stated as he gazed around. ¡°Temporary lull. The crowd was massive this morning, though with it close to supper, it has faded just a bit.¡± As if on cue, a few customers came from the back rows, calling for assistance. ¡°Fiona, this is Gendry, one of my prior clients. I trust your press shop is in good order?¡± he asked. ¡°I took your advice. I hired an extra guy to track news releases and run numbers. You were right, I couldn¡¯t do it on my own.¡± His son hopped up and down excitedly. ¡°Dad gets to take me to the park more often!¡± he smiled enthusiastically, and one missing tooth gave him a trademark grin. ¡°Thank you so much Miss Swiftheart, for giving my dad good news to print!¡± ¡°Well, I¡ª¡± She trailed off. Had Douglas been an overhyped threat? It seemed like the danger had been a bit exaggerated. ¡°Aw, it was nothing, really,¡± she dismissed with a gentle hand wave, but the boy¡¯s energy could not be dissuaded. ¡°Yeah, it was! A lot more people came home safe when you and the other adventurers put that baddie into a swamp and ruined his plans! Dad, can we get something? I want to be an adventurer!¡± the boy exclaimed, and his father laughed softly before patting him on his head gently. ¡°It¡¯s a lot of work, Alvin. Picking a class so early?¡± ¡°It¡¯s never too early!¡± he said with a thumb pointed at his chest. ¡°I¡¯ll be a great warrior, like Miss Swiftheart!¡± ¡°Well¡­¡± Gendry trailed off and smiled. ¡°Do you have anything that would be age-appropriate?¡± ¡°Hmm.¡± She put a hand to her chin as she scanned the room, and walked to a shelf. For some reason, the mark was nudging her to go to this shelf. Her gaze lingered on a small ring that was relatively inexpensive, and lightly enchanted, and she took it out of the display case. ¡°This one. It¡¯s a ring of featherfall. If you ever fall out of a treehouse or down a flight of stairs, or maybe if you¡¯re playing with your friends and have an accident, it¡¯ll make a giant cushion of feathers! Just mind the mess,¡± she added with a wink to the child¡¯s father, who laughed. ¡°How much?¡± ¡°For this? Eh, a hundred and seventy-five gold. It¡¯s common enough to enchant, and the material is a copper band, so pretty easy to find,¡± she reasoned. Greg nodded firmly. ¡°For comparable pieces, it¡¯s a competitive price,¡± he added. ¡°Just, don¡¯t demonstrate it right now, Fiona?¡± ¡°Aw, how could I not?¡± She was already in motion with the ring on her finger. She vaulted up and over the counter, and leaped up to one of the arcane chandeliers to get some height. Greg instantly went pale, and started stammering like this was a bad idea. Which meant, it was totally a good idea. She tried to land right on her backside¨Cand an explosion of feathers cushioned her landing. Everyone else was covered in feathers that floated through the air. The boy giggled, and his father chuckled and pulled a few feathers out of his hair. ¡°Ta-daaa! Feather fall!¡± Fiona declared. ¡°That was awesome!¡± Alvin shouted with joy. ¡°Dad, can I get it? Pleeease?¡± he called out persuasively. ¡°Do you make it a habit of demonstrating every product?¡± Greg groaned. But, Gendry interjected between laughs, before Fiona could give Greg her answer. ¡°Haha, you know something? I¡¯ll take it. Now Alvin, remember, this has to be earned,¡± Gendry stated as he reached for his coin purse. ¡°That means, keep the press room clear of papers, don¡¯t play with the machinery, and make sure you keep the house clean, and the pets taken care of! This is earned, it¡¯s not a given!¡± ¡°Yes, sir!¡± Alvin responded with a firm salute. Fiona beamed as they completed the transaction a few minutes later, and the boy and his father walked out. ¡°You could have charged more. The market price was two hundred,¡± Greg reminded her. ¡°Goodwill goes a long way, Greg. And it doesn¡¯t always come right away,¡± she stated with a smile, and pulled a tuft of feathers out of her hair. ¡°Guess I better go get the broom, then. Still worth it, though!¡± ¡°Your enthusiasm is infectious,¡± Greg sighed. But no shying away could hide the faint crease of a smirk on his face. With the evening approaching and the last customers attended to, they eventually moved to the closing. It was dusk when they finished, with Gregory doing a count of the coins and gold vouchers, and checking the markings of each methodically. Bonnie also finished on her end, beaming. She was the one to break the ice. ¡°Well, I think I did pretty well on the first day. Five enchantments¨Ctwo minor, three moderate complexity, and orders for more. I just need a few materials to finish the orders." She tapped her arcanist pad and put in some notes. ¡°What about you guys?¡± ¡°Based on the numbers¡­¡± Greg trailed off and furrowed his brow. ¡°We are...above target. I expected good first-day sales. We beat that number, by a large margin.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t get all excited just yet! Greg, I told you to work on your face flexing exercises!¡± Fiona called out, and Greg tried to not smile. ¡°Yes, that expression is called joy, you should wear it more, Greg! Bonnie has it down to a fine art by now.¡± ¡°Hah. I think you¡¯re still the master, Fi,¡± she laughed. ¡°Let¡¯s lock up and go to McFly¡¯s. I think this is cause for celebration!¡± ¡°Indeed, but with moderation.¡± Greg closed the till and quickly arranged the gold and exchanges into a lockbox that only the most proficient arcane lockpickers would be capable of cracking. ¡°It¡¯s too late to run this to the bank, I¡¯ll make a run first thing in the morning. Fiona, based on foot traffic, we will need some more hired hands.¡± ¡°That¡¯s tomorrow''s challenge,¡± she said as she skipped around, making sure the displays were locked. ¡°We¡¯ve got a date with some noodle bowls over at Jarl¡¯s!¡± It finally felt like a solid win, now. And as she closed up the door and locked it with Bonnie¡¯s custom ward, she knew it was just the first day. There would be many more challenges ahead. But a solid start was a good sign. Vol. 1, Ch. 29: Five Feather Discount After a few days of solid sales, the crowd thinned to a more predictable, constant stream in and out of the store. The easy sales were over, now. Fiona knew that, and knew that she was going to have to step up her game. Her current customer was a hard-dealing, haggling master who clearly had taken many merchants to the bank, and bled them dry. She knew it because he was trying to make the case for an item that she knew was a lot more valuable than he was willing to pay. She also saw Greg giving that disapproving nod behind the guy, from the safety of the register. The man in particular was a riverfolk who looked almost like an oversized beaver, peering at a tiara in a glass case with disdain. The tiara itself was bright silver, with small inlaid green gems, and erratic wisps of light seemed to emanate off of it. ¡°I¡¯m telling you, I¡¯m an expert in Timerian artifacts! That¡¯s not Timerian, it¡¯s from a more recent era of the kingdom!¡± ¡°Mister¡­¡± She trailed off and cursed internally, she¡¯d forgotten this guy''s name, while he was trying to get this rare item for a steal. ¡°Look, here¡¯s the breakdown. My guy has told me that based on the metalwork, and the runecraft level, this is from the third kingdom of Timeria, and he can back that up with documentation. This means the value of six thousand gold stands for this fancy decor. Not the one thousand you are proposing.¡± She was not selling this thing for that little. Not even close. She folded her arms and gestured to the item. ¡°If you would like for us to bring an expert in¨C¡± ¡°My expert,¡± he snapped, and those buck teeth came out as he chattered angrily. Like a deranged squirrel, almost. ¡°I can¡¯t believe you¡¯d charge a robbery for something you know is not as rare as you are advertising!¡± ¡°Yes. Well, we¡¯ve got our differences on the item¡¯s age. But, this is a rare exhibit of a crown of light, that allows a person to become a beam of light. It allows them to go places where the sun doesn¡¯t shine,¡± she quipped. Her customer was not laughing in response; he looked like an oversized plushie doll at the moment. I think I have a problem with wanting to give hugs to things that can gnaw my face off, she thought to herself. ¡°Miss Swiftheart, look at the metalwork! This is not a hallmark of the third kingdom, it is a hallmark of the fifth!¡± the man protested, and adjusted his tweed jacket. ¡°Surely as an appraiser¨Cas a merchant¨Cyou can detect the worth of this item, and you must admit, you¡¯re overcharging!¡± ¡°The price shall be set, at what the market can bear,¡± she quoted some famous dead guy. Was it Smith? It wasn¡¯t Keynes, that was for sure. Earth''s historical norms didn¡¯t apply to this world. ¡°Which is to say¨CGreg, what did your guy say, the runework of the 3rd Kingdom could occasionally have some signs of glitches? Hence, the imperfect light beams emanating from the tiara in the resting state?¡± ¡°That¡¯s a bit simple to say,¡± Greg corrected. ¡°The runework imperfections are a result of poor materials. The mithril base of the metal on the runes wasn¡¯t very pure. They hadn¡¯t gotten furnace temperatures high enough to work out the impurities. Hence, you see a little ¡®glitching¡¯ on these third kingdom examples. I can show you other examples.¡± ¡°But¨Cbut that means it¡¯s flawed!¡± the man protested. Greg adjusted his tie, and clicked open the display case with a key. ¡°If I may, I have seen other items of this era. They would typically leave their smith marks just under the crest¡­here.¡± he pointed to a small mark on the metal that appeared as a small, triangular symbol¨Cthe smith¡¯s signature, most likely. ¡°Mister Levy, I can assure you, we have done rigorous checks for the authenticity of these items.¡± ¡°But¨Cwell, even experts can get it wrong,¡± the man huffed. "The smith mark is also...not quite right." Fiona rolled her eyes when he wasn¡¯t looking. Customers like this were the bane of her existence back home, and a new planet didn¡¯t change that sentiment. Greg took the heat and placed the tiara back into the case, where the small sparkles of light bounced around, ever so slightly. ¡°If you feel that the item is not of the age we have advertised, submit a claim, using the B-14 form with the merchant¡¯s guild,¡± he stated dryly. He pulled open his arcanist pad, where a copy form was already displaying. ¡°Please fill in this documentation, and sign your name at the bottom, and submit this form in triplicate. You will also need an accredited expert who can contest the authenticity of this artifact. You will also need to talk to the Adventurer¡¯s Guild which ran the initial assessment in good faith, and will need their records, and¨C¡± Fiona grinned silently as Greg killed this guy with paperwork, and Levy became irritated. He was never going to buy this item, he just wanted to likely flip it and sell it to someone else. It was a tactic she¡¯d seen more than a few times. ¡°You call this customer service?¡± The man demanded and gnashed his teeth. ¡°This is a joke!¡± ¡°Mister Levy, we would never deliberately mislead our customers. That''s a big no-no, and I''d be willing to stake my reputation on it! The dragon saw the value in it, and it was sitting in his collection,¡± Fiona assured him with a smile. This guy was trying to get a freebie out of this, and he wasn¡¯t as close to an expert haggler as she was. ¡°Tell ya what, prove it¡¯s a fake, with someone who is an independent third party, and I¡¯ll give it to you. For free.¡± ¡°You¡¯ll what?¡± Levy gasped, eyes going to dilated slits. ¡°You¡¯ll what,¡± Greg sighed, as if he knew the path this was going, ahead of time. Which he probably did, since he knew her too well for her actions to be unpredictable. ¡°Fiona, we need to pay off¨C¡± ¡°Greg, just relax,¡± she assured him. It did nothing to crack that stern look on his face. The shock had worn off on Levy¡¯s face, and he rubbed his hands together. ¡°You are proposing a wager, Miss Swiftheart? Bold of you to assume you¡¯ll win this.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not about winning, Mister Levy. It¡¯s about ensuring customers get their values'' worth,¡± she proposed. She figured he''d either drop it and just walk away from a potential freebie, or he¡¯d realize she wasn¡¯t one to pull a fast one on people. And she was ninety-nine percent sure this item had true value. Mostly, because the heart on her wrist kept fluttering every time she looked at it, which did seem a bit odd. ¡°Now, if the expert does prove it, you¡¯re free to walk away.¡± ¡°So, this does nothing to benefit you?¡± he asked with a raised eyebrow. ¡°Nah. I¡¯d just hate to be wrong, and sell something that didn¡¯t match the sticker, you know?¡± she posited with her hands up in the air, palms out. ¡°What do you say?¡± Levy furrowed his brow and rubbed his chin. ¡°I know a man from the historical guild. I could bring him here this afternoon,¡± he proposed, and he was now being far more careful in his words. "I think...I think this item might be worth the trouble." ¡°Perfect, so do I! I knew the guy when I was recovering loo¨CI mean, missing heirlooms across the kingdom,¡± she added hastily as Greg tapped a foot impatiently, arms folded across his chest. ¡°Let¡¯s let him be the judge.¡± ¡°Perfect. We have an accord,¡± Levy replied with a beaver smile. The guy must have been an expert corn shucker with such naturally sharp teeth. An alarm went off with a shrill, high-pitched whistle that instantly broke the conversation. Fiona focused on the unrest¨Ca young avian teenager had somehow gotten a display case open, and taken a relatively inexpensive-looking broach. Bonnie was already springing into motion, but the teen had spread his wings and was flying for the door. ¡°Would you excuse me? I need to congratulate my first shoplifter!¡± Fiona called out with an evil smile, grabbed the haft of her morphic weapon from under the counter, and grabbed the other device that Greg had been utterly dismissive of: Her magical grappling hook. If there was one utility item every adventurer needed, it was one of these. You never knew when you¡¯d need one to climb up a short cliff, lasso a monster, save yourself from a deadly fall, or fetch the pickle jar from your kitchen because you were too lazy to get off the couch. Today¡¯s shoplifter was about to be the pickle jar, and while she might be annoyed at how quickly this had happened, she applauded their tenacity to do this right in the open and had almost not been caught, except for Bonnie¡¯s sneaky wards. Fiona bounded off after the young male, who stumbled to the ground after nearly crashing through the glass plate on the door¨Cseriously, birds couldn¡¯t see the glass? He was on his feet and trying to get into the air after throwing the door open, but she threw her grappling hook at his leg just as he got airborne, and gave a mighty heave, looping the slack cable around her arm as she drew him in. She underestimated the strength of this bird, because she skidded across the steps, feeling like she got a trip on a washing board, and was now wrangling this bird like a demented kite. A kite that was somehow threatening to send her airborne, and squawking frantically. ¡°Let go, crazy elf chick!¡± he pleaded. ¡°I need it to feed my family!¡±Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings. ¡°Hope they like chicken, because I know where to get some!¡± she cackled madly, and let out a yelp as his wings glowed, and little embers of fire started to light off of them. She was barely keeping this flapping, yapping kite from taking off¨C Wait. Which item did he steal? That broach wasn''t the--oh no. tell me it''s not the blast-off one. The wings fully ignited, and Fiona had one brief second of realizing she¡¯d made a terrible mistake. Oh, crap, this was the one with the igniter enchantment. ¡°Fiona, let go!¡± Bonnie shouted as she tried to grab onto the grappling device handle, to ground the bird. ¡°This isn¡¯t catch and release Bonnie¨C¡± she started to retort, as this bird got a brand-new spanking set of jet wings¨Cand fiery feathers that blazed with heat. The force of the ignition sent him skyward and he took off with them in tow, going upwards. Bonnie screamed in terror and clung to the tether for dear life, and Fiona? Fiona screamed for joy. This was like being an adventurer, all over again, and it hadn¡¯t even been that long. The thief was gaining altitude and speed, but his direction was erratic and he nearly pancaked them into the side of the storefronts. She pulled herself up along the tether, gripping it tightly, and closing the gap to their feathered flight risk. He was heaving and trying to not burn himself from his own wings, now flapping frantically. She would comment that the scenery of Fiefdala didn''t diminish while airborne, and the cozy European, white stone, and rough-hewn wood timber gave the city a fantasy appeal. The largest buildings were made of more polished stone and some steel work, with banners fluttering on mount points on the roof. All of this was observed as she tried to avoid being splattered by the bird''s erratic movements through streetways, and Bonnie was screaming, running along the side of the buildings as they swerved. And, people were staring upwards from the cobblestone streets at an elf and a kitsune dealing with a flight risk. It probably wasn''t even close to the strangest thing they''d seen. ¡°Are you nuts? You¡¯re gonna get killed, it¡¯s not worth that much!¡± the thief screamed out, trying to angle between buildings, in an attempt to shake them. Like she''d let go, now? ¡°It¡¯s worth it to me, street bird! Do you want me to call you Al, or Din?¡± she shouted out among the rustle of wind blowing past her face, and she gripped tightly as they banked over the lake shore, while Bonnie screamed about not being dunked and getting soaking wet. The thief thrust with all their might as they banked back over land, over the rooftops of the two and three-story buildings. But he couldn¡¯t seem to get any significant height and was panting. Fiona felt her feet skim the tile roofs and bounced off a chimney to get closer to her target, now a few meters away. ¡°Na-na-na-na-na-na-bird man, bird maaaaan!¡± she laughed. ¡°Fiona, you¡¯re insane!¡± Bonnie screamed in outrage, just as she narrowly missed a chimney and grabbed her wand with one hand. ¡°When that enchantment lets out, he better hope he doesn¡¯t pile drive into the pavement, along with us!¡± ¡°Hah¨Cyou¡¯re gonna¨Chonk¨Cthrow me in prison,¡± the teen gasped and was wheezing. His afterburners seemed to be dimming a bit on his wings. Fiona grabbed his leg, and pulled her way up while avoiding the flames. ¡°Kiddo, if you singe my hair, I am making you into chicken tenders! Bank right over the lake, or you¡¯re gonna crash!¡± she called out, even as he wobbled in flight from the shifting balance, and Bonnie had extended her wand like a giant fin. ¡°Bonnie, hang on!¡± ¡°Keep it steady! The things I do for money and friendship, Fi!¡± she shouted out as she used it like a massive air brake, and their wild course stabilized just a little bit. That ground was coming up a little too fast for their liking as the enchantment gave out in a puff of black smoke. ¡°Oh, Fiddlesticks.¡± Their thief knew the gig was up as he struggled to stay aloft, with Fiona grabbing his waist and holding on, shouting with joy. ¡°Man, Nick¡¯s been holding out on me with refusing to give me a ride! I want my own feathery paraglider now!¡± she cheered as the white-feathered, the blue-eyed teen panicked. Fortunately, they just crossed the sandy shore of the lake, and Bonnie dismounted with a tumble and landed on her springy legs. Ever so graceful, that one¨C Her thought was interrupted by crashing into the lake with the thief and instantly sinking past her head. Luckily it wasn¡¯t that deep, and she quickly broke surface, and¨Cwas this guy still trying to swim away?! She applauded his tenacity, and she grabbed him by the waist, and spun him around. He looked at her with his blue eyes dilated, his pupils tiny points of black. ¡°Please don¡¯t eat me.¡± ¡°Oh, no. I have uses for you, you overgrown seagull terror fiend.¡± Ten minutes later, and one drying off, their thief was sat down in the storefront, hands behind his back, with Bonnie conjuring a shackling to keep him in place¨Cand his wings. Fiona sighed, she still smelled like fish from that damn lake, and she¡¯d probably made just a little bit of a spectacle. ¡°Okay there, thief. What do I call you?¡± ¡°Uh¡­call me Kali.¡± he was still soaked from the impromptu swim and looked miserable. ¡°Look, I''m sorry. I needed the money, and one of my buddies said you guys had expensive stuff right in front. He dared me to do it.¡± ¡°So, not a starving family?¡± Fiona pressed. ¡°Well, I mean...I guess I help secure meals for other orphans over in Sedgwick Way,¡± he admitted as he slumped on the stool he was sitting on. ¡°That broach is a five hundred gold piece item, you¡¯re insured for a hundred times that, easily. The case has an easy lock that even a blind man could open. I wasn¡¯t expecting the alarm, though. Didn¡¯t see any wards on it.¡± ¡°With my work, you wouldn¡¯t have,¡± Bonnie growled. Her dress was a little wrinkled and dusty, but at least she¡¯d avoided getting dunked. ¡°Fiona, let¡¯s just toss him to the city guard, press charges¨C¡± ¡°No, hang up. Kali, how old are you?¡± Fiona interrupted. He was quite young, judging by the lack of a large feather crest on his scalp¡ªsome of the adult avians looked like they had a feather crown. ¡°Fifteen,¡± he answered. It surprised her greatly. ¡°Okay. Are you educated?¡± ¡°I just dropped out because I couldn¡¯t afford an education worth a damn,¡± he sighed. ¡°Ever held a job before?¡± she pressed further. ¡°I stole from people and didn¡¯t get caught. If you call that a job,¡± he added with a roll of his eyes. She tapped his beak gently to get his attention, and he frowned. ¡°Look, I¡¯m a juvenile; I get a slap on the wrist, I¡¯m out in two weeks, and the court case will go nowhere. Your store suffered no damage.¡± ¡°Oh, that¡¯s debatable,¡± Bonnie snapped and glared at him with a curl of her muzzle. For some reason, Fiona kept getting that itching on her wrist. Make a deal with this guy? Oh hell no, weird symbol. She was guessing what it meant, but that itching only intensified. Why? What value does he bring? I need to make a poster of him to ward off shoplifters, so he¡¯s that guy everyone looks at warily. What does he bring? Besides being a security¨C She snapped her fingers and grinned. This was a great idea. Greg saw this motion and rubbed the bridge of his nose. ¡°I know that fey look, Fiona. Not every terrible idea you have is going to pay off.¡± ¡°Pfft. Call it a gut instinct.¡± She would have called it a magical instinct that she didn¡¯t have words for--just that this decision felt right. ¡°Kali, you tried to steal, for good personal reasons. But you got caught. You made a scene. A criminal case will ruin your future. Now, I¡¯m willing to forgive and forget, on a couple of conditions. Agree to them, and I don¡¯t throw you at the mercy of our wonderful new King Barry.¡± ¡°Ah crap, what happened to Greybeard?¡± he asked worriedly. ¡°Retirement, though his choice of successor is questionable,¡± she demurred. ¡°Point is, Kali, you¡¯re paying off a debt to me, not in coin, but in favors.¡± He sighed and looked down at his soaked clothes. ¡°Pretty sure you don¡¯t want me for any job you have in mind.¡± ¡°Kali? Do pay attention, or Barry might decide he wants chicken soup for dinner,¡± she added with a smile that left Greg with another case of his mouse-warding ritual against his arcanist pad. ¡°You¡¯re going to work for me. Do this, and go back to school, stay out of trouble, and we¡¯ll call it even in three months.¡± ¡°That¨Cthat¡¯s longer than jail!¡± he protested. ¡°I¡¯ll pay you a living wage, as long as you¡¯re not stealing. And you know how you can help?¡± She pointed to the display he had expertly opened. ¡°Why would I agree to this?¡± he shrilled. ¡°First off, you¡¯re smart, second off, people don¡¯t steal for the hell of it. And I know exactly what you mean by predatory educational systems,¡± she added dryly. ¡°Take a guess what I¡¯ll be having you doing. And it isn¡¯t going to be coffee runs, either.¡± He was doing the math, and likely realizing this might be an unexpected opportunity. He took a deep breath, and focused on her. ¡°Pointing out your security flaws, and picking people that might be probable thieves and conmen?¡± He sounded like a deflated goose, with his words. "See? Your education¡¯s already paying for itself!¡± She beamed while patting him on the beak, much to his annoyance. ¡°Bonnie, can you, I dunno, use an enchantment to remind him to be here for 8 AM sharp?" ¡°I question your judgment, Fi. We really should toss him to the town watch,¡± she added with a flash of dazzling blue eyes, an arcanist inscription pen in hand that ran contrary to her words. "And have him enter the revolving door of the prison complex? Nah, let''s not. So I''ll ask for the record: Kali, do you want a chance to make this right, and open a door to a life that isn''t gonna involve skirting trouble at every turn?" Fiona peered at him, while he clicked his beak. His answer was reluctant, but he did nod after a few seconds. "Yeah. I might try it once." "Splendid. Bonnie, you can proceed," Fiona declared as she clapped her hands in delight. "Hold out your hand. This ward will put out a very annoying sound at the designated time. It will be only disabled by walking into the shop. Like an alarm clock," Bonnie explained. "If you''re going to be late, relay us." Kali gulped nervously as she traced a small inscription on his scaled hand. ¡°I might regret the lack of drowning on my part, now.¡± ¡°Winner winner, chicken dinner,¡± Fiona laughed. "Greg, get in touch with his orphanage. Tell them he''s signed up for an apprenticeship, and don''t mention the kerfuffle." "I don''t know what chicken is, but I know I''m going to regret this, too," Greg sighed. Vol. 1, Ch. 30: You Break It, You Buy It Greg was giving her that look again, as they closed up shop for the day. That judgy look that she hated, because he only offered his opinion when asked for it. ¡°Greg, just say it. You don¡¯t like what I did.¡± ¡°As your, accountant, and occasional work friend¨C¡± ¡°Business partner, Greg, we¡¯re so past that point,¡± she stated with an accented sigh. ¡°Without you, I wouldn¡¯t be even close to wiping that creepy stalker smile off of King Beardless¡¯s face, and you know that.¡± ¡°I¡¯m glad you agree with the assessment, then,¡± he added as he adjusted his tie, and straightened his vest. ¡°Fiona, you have a habit of picking up strays. You think the world needs saving at every corner, and that by taking them under your wing, you can somehow better them. I am here to remind you that in doing so, you expose yourself to greater liability¨C¡± ¡°Greg, Kali snuck right past that locking system without even any effort, on the first try, and knew to check for magical wards. Lucky for us, Bonnie is not your average enchantress.¡± Fiona did ponder if this had been too bold a move--maybe she should have consulted them on this? "Bonnie I''m still a little unsure but, you''re a super specialized mage, right?" Bonnie was putting on her wide-brimmed hat with the cute cutouts for her pointed red ears when she turned and nodded. ¡°Classes get a little weird for mages--theoretically with sufficient training, you can use any magic. If they broke down sub-classes, there would be too many to keep track of. Guess the gods must have thought of that one and were like ¡®Nope, here are your choices¡¯,¡± she laughed. ¡°Still, thousands of them to pick from? It¡¯s a lot. Enchantress builds on the mage class, for those who have the class already¨Ceither from birth, or from their Contracts. It¡¯s a lot of the same things, just specialization.¡± ¡°Ah, gotcha.¡± Greg was still standing there at the till looking sour while counting receipts and writing records down. ¡°Look, Kali beat our security on the first try, without even breaking a sweat. He¡¯d countered against simple alarm spells. The kid has talent.¡± ¡°And will likely try to steal from us again, if past behavior is an indicator of future performance,¡± Greg bristled. ¡°Fiona, we don¡¯t have money growing on trees. It might seem like we are doing well, but we have expenses to keep this place running. On paper, we are fine, but realistically, this cumbersome tax could put us on a knife edge if we have a bad month.¡± She gave him a dismissive hand wave. ¡°Look, Kali knows he screwed up. He also didn¡¯t count on me chasing him like a¨Cwell¨C¡± ¡°Manic elf with her head not screwed on straight?¡± Bonnie proposed with a sharpened smile. Fiona scowled at her in response. ¡°Alright, it was a little fun. You are no stranger to danger. I just thought we put all that aside when we came here to open a shop.¡± ¡°Bah, I¡¯m sure that¡¯ll be a one-off. It¡¯s not like a revenge-hungry dragon is lurking around, or some doom cult is preparing for the end of times." Fiona sighed as she rubbed at her temples and redirected to her more emotionless partner. ¡°Look, Greg, I get it. I¡¯m taking a possible risk.¡± ¡°Technically we all are,¡± he cautioned. ¡°Fiona, as a business owner, you need to think about not just yourself, but your staff and partners as well. I am not comfortable with this notion of just bringing in the first thief you find, and then putting him in charge of security and other logistics!¡± ¡°Greg, there is always a method to my madness.¡± She grabbed her bag and her notes to bring home with them. ¡°Why¡¯s a kid stealing stuff? Because someone told him it was easy money. Why¡¯s he not in school, trying to get a lucrative class? Come to think of it, who charges money for what should be public education? Barry¡¯s letting that kid down,¡± she fumed. ¡°To be fair, Greybeard¡¯s design,¡± Greg added while closing up the till, and writing down some notes on the counter. ¡°Look, the point stands. Bringing this kid in under your wing¨Cproverbially in this case¨Cis a bad idea.¡± ¡°That¡¯s another thing, since I haven¡¯t been around a while. Why do you need classes for¡­well, classes?¡± she demanded. ¡°I get the destined class thing. It¡¯s so no one can get locked out by some prig with a god complex. It¡¯s a counter to keep people from locking you out of living your life. But, why bother with gatekeeping at all? Shouldn¡¯t anyone be able to be anything?¡± ¡°Fiona, some classes do require a certain subject matter expertise. Mages, in particular, as Bonnie can attest to,¡± Greg stated as he grabbed his bag, and they prepared to depart out the front door, with the wards lighting up on the displays behind them with a ghostly green light. Bonnie¡¯s wards were better than any physical lock. ¡°Would you want an inept as a mage, who flung his first fireball right at his feet?¡± ¡°Probably not,¡± she conceded. ¡°You¡¯re saying the class system, with a bunch of bureaucrats overseeing it, is the right way to go about it. But those guys get to pick literally, the course of your life! Why¡¯s he trying to thieve around? To get to a good class, to get to a good¡­class! Damn, whoever came up with this setup didn¡¯t have education in mind." Greg took a more conciliatory tone. ¡°Fiona, you¡¯re new to the world, it is probably different from where you grew up. It''s been this way for a long time,¡± Bonnie added as she put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. ¡°The gods above gave us this ability. Many people barely even make use of their class. Some don¡¯t. They live perfectly suburban, normal lives.¡± ¡°Literal gods.¡± Fiona still hadn¡¯t wrapped her head around that one, yet. ¡°Look, from where I came from, there was like, one. Or, so people claimed. Never met them, but I have trouble fathoming that this whole getup wasn¡¯t put in place to create some sinister scheme for who gets to live which way of life. That said, if a living god or goddess ever pays me a visit, I''ll be sure--" Is this the way you want this to end, Fiona? She blinked. Where had that come from? She tried to focus on the wayward thought, but it was gone, now. But it wasn''t her thought. What was it? "The elf is spacing out, should we...pull an ear to reboot her?" Greg''s words snapped her out of her focus. She scowled at him. "Do it, and you get the hammer." Her words dripped acid, and he shrugged. Whatever that errant thought was, it had disappeared like a waking dream. "I uh...yeah, I get it. Your first class isn''t the end if you get it wrong. But it should feel important, you know?" ¡°True. You can always pursue a class later, but that first one can negatively define you, if you let it.¡± Greg countered softly. She raised an eyebrow at that. Did Greg have a class he wasn''t proud of? He moved on without elaborating. ¡°You could go back to pick a proficiency in monster slaying. That class exists.¡± ¡°Yeah, I¡¯d like our newly acquired security expert to have a calling of his choosing. Man, what¡¯s with that, you have to lock a class by eighteen, and it¡¯s definitive of your existence? I couldn¡¯t figure out what I wanted to do for a career by my twenties! The merchant thing back then kind of fell in my lap. It was a thing of convenience, and then¡­I guess I made it more than that,¡± she trailed off. ¡°Look, if I¡¯ve made a bad call, I will not need to be told ¡®I told you so, Fiona.¡¯ I¡¯ll know it between my pointy elf ears.¡±If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. ¡°Cute pointy elf ears,¡± Bonnie corrected, and elicited a small laugh from her. ¡°Greg, look, I think it''s a rare day when Fiona''s gut instincts are wrong. Give the kid a chance. I''m willing to, even though I got an unhealthy aerial tour of downtown Fiefdala.¡± "I will, but I''m the one who has to fix things if it blows up in our face." His words had a little more bite than usual--best to change the subject, Fiona figured. "Now, getting back onto my original discussion, as a minor celebration of our first successful week, we''ll go out to a place that you two might like. We should also grab Nick, Cita, and Jake. it¡¯s fun. The kind of fun that I know Miss Swiftheart might enjoy,¡± he added with a smug look on his boyish face. ¡°Oh, you can¡¯t just tease that out, where are you taking us, Mister Gregory ¡®can¡¯t party to save his life¡¯ Lockheed?¡± she challenged him, and he chuckled in response. ¡°A place uptown. Surprisingly, it¡¯s not well known, even given the food and¡­entertainment there.¡± ¡°Why do you say that in a weird way?¡± All she got from him in response was a small smile. ¡°Oh, you¡¯ll see. I think this place miiight be up your alley. Consider it a small treat from me--and separate from this other item. Despite your daring to take risks, Miss Swiftheart, you have put us beyond our initial deficit costs by a small margin. That is not a feat that is doable sometimes for months, even with robust businesses,¡± he added with a reserved sound of¡­was that a content look on his face? ¡°We¡¯re in the green? Hear that Bonnie, I hear the sound of cha-ching!¡± Fiona boasted with a grin, and gave her a high five. ¡°Yes, and to maintain that, we need to make some sound decisions. We¡¯ll head out after tomorrow, sound good?¡± Greg proposed. ¡°You got it!¡± Bonnie answered with a cheery expression, and they headed out the door to go home for the evening.
Fiona was swooning at the idea that they were going net positive after only a week. A week! She knew how hard it was to recoup start-up costs, and she had spent a significant amount of her own money to bootstrap this operation. She wanted to spend money now they were in the green, but she held firm as she walked up the flight of stairs to her apartment. Greg had warned her not to spend her money before it was even in the bank. And, given the banks¡¯ prior status of trying to withhold her money as part of some suspected scheme by Barry, maybe it was time to be frugal and not take risks. Then she saw the flyer in the mail for the fall fashion lineup and groaned. ¡°Granny, why must you leave temptation in front of me?!¡± she wailed. She heard a soft chuckling in the hallway as Granny walked in, having just finished up at her workplace at around the same time. ¡°Oh, dear. Is this a side of Fiona I don¡¯t know about? One with restraint?¡± Gemma teased, and set down her bag to trace the wards on her door in a rhythmic pattern. It was like a lock screen for a phone¨Cexcept for an entire door, and she was pretty sure it changed every time. The lock clicked open and Gemma peered at her, arms folded and looking smug. ¡°It¡¯s fall, and I love my fashions, too. Though I don¡¯t have quite the need to go out as much anymore, the husband and I spend most weekends at home.¡± ¡°I know, but I love cute boots!¡± Fiona groaned, and frowned. ¡°I mean my boots are cute, and they are so cozy. But seriously, there are boots and shoes for every occasion. If I don''t have a shoe rack filled with shoes and nothing to wear for an occasion, I think I¡¯m doing something wrong!¡± ¡°Oh dear. What a problem to be bequeathed with,¡± Gemma commented with a chuckle. ¡°If you can¡¯t get them all, get one.¡± ¡°That¡¯s the problem. I got the new store, and we¡¯re doing well, Greg tells me we¡¯re in the green¨Cand my impulse is to spend it! I¡¯m in the gotta-have-it club!¡± She tapped the flyer showing various arcane footwear for emphasis. ¡°Ice walker boots made out of soft elk skin! I¡¯ll never slip and crack my tailbone again in the winter! Granny, you have not known pain until you¡¯ve experienced a Northeast winter and slipped and cracked that stupid vestigial bone in your spine, that¡¯s there to remind people they aren¡¯t invincible!¡± ¡°Oh dear. That happened once?¡± she asked with concern, and hovered by the doorframe. Fiona loved the old aesthetic of the building¨Clike something out of early 19th century America, brickwork, and large wooden trusswork, all with a light wood stain that brought warmth to the interior. ¡°Yep. I still remember that pain,¡± she shuddered. Even if that physical injury wasn¡¯t part of her current body. She frowned¨Cthat question was there again, how had she woken up as an elf? This summoner must have been doing one hell of a charity job for her. Even Bonnie hadn¡¯t come up with an answer. She gestured to Gemma, and tried to shove the thought away for later. ¡°What was it like for you, growing up?¡± ¡°Poor. I grew up, and worked on a dairy farm,¡± she answered. ¡°Well, physically poor, but heart-wise¡­my life was fulfilled. I had a loving family, growing up. My father, rest his soul, gave his everything to see us through winters. He always had a warm smile on him, and he never showed doubt¨Cat least, when he thought we weren¡¯t looking. And he loved to sing, along with Mother. Song is free, and endows richness upon us all,¡± Gemma breathed, and wore a dreamy expression on her weathered face. Fiona smiled at that. And her mark kept fluttering on her wrist¨Cwhat did that mean, exactly? Gemma wasn¡¯t rich, but she did have three apartments to rent out of four in the building. Maybe she had been right. It was a richness of heart, indeed. She tucked her hair behind her ears before continuing. ¡°I love singing. Though, still learning some tunes from around here.¡± ¡°You keep saying you¡¯re not from here, but are you from the south with the Barnathi elves? You look like one, you know. The bright red hair,¡± Gemma smiled. ¡°Uh¡­hard to say. The parents said nothing about it,¡± she answered skillfully. A thought did come up¨Cwhat if this wasn¡¯t her body? What if this was someone else''s? She hoped Bonnie would be honest about that part, even if it were a remote possibility. Gemma must have seen the twist of her expression, eyes drooping a little. ¡°I get it. You were orphaned? That¡¯s what you were saying, in a roundabout way?¡± ¡°Well¡­let¡¯s just say that I don¡¯t know my origin,¡± she stated hesitantly. It was the closest she could come to telling Gemma. Darla knew, but she¡¯d experienced her own ¡®summoning¡¯ before so she could relate, and of course, Bonnie and Greg knew this part. Maybe there was no risk in telling her. But, not now. Maybe sometime later, when they were a little less busy. Fiona straightened up and hefted her bag back high on her shoulder. ¡°Yeah. finding your place in the world can be tough. Though, I love my fashion. And cozy things. I just need to work hard at getting them. And not buy half the lineup,¡± she joked, and Gemma also joined in on the laughter. Tucker was scratching at the door, annoyed that he couldn¡¯t be part of the conversation until she opened the door, and he pushed past her to rub against Gemma¡¯s hand dutifully. ¡°Traitor,¡± Fiona accused, and the cat let out a loud yawn in response. ¡°Well, at any rate, have a good evening Gemma. We should do dinner or something, or you can drop by for lunch at the shop maybe!¡± ¡°I¡¯d love that idea. Tucker, no, you can¡¯t come in, you¡¯re not stealing my couch, too,¡± Gemma scolded the cat, who let out a spark of energy as he sauntered back over to Fiona, for much-needed head scritches. ¡°That cat¡­he¡¯s quite the personality, isn¡¯t he?¡± ¡°Yes, he is. Speaking of, you loveable booger, let¡¯s make dinner,¡± she stated to the cat, who let out an affirming meow. ¡°Alright Gemma, I¡¯ll see you tomorrow, g¡¯night!¡± ¡°Night dear.¡± She heard the door click and walked into the smell of cinnamon in her apartment. She loved that scent. Doubly so for the fall season, and she flopped down on the dark-colored couch. Tucker instantly took up position on her lap¨Cor her whole lower body, given his size, and pretended to nap. ¡°Hey, I still need to make dinner,¡± she reminded him. He put a paw lazily up to her lip almost, and she frowned¨Csince when did cats do that? A thought crossed her mind. A very strange thought. If she was brought to this world in another body¨Ccould that happen to other people? ¡°Hey, Tucker, are you another isekaied person, trapped in a cat body?¡± she asked the black and blue striped feline. She swore that she saw a glint of curiosity in his eyes before he yawned and rested his chin down on her leg. That seemed to be his final answer on the matter. She sighed softly as she stroked the fur on his neck. ¡°Well, if you are, cat, then I am, too. Man, that¡¯s bugging me, Tucker. Granny says I look like the elves to the southern plains. Do you think that means something? I mean, I have enough on my plate, but¡­if I somehow hijacked someone else''s body? That would be not cool because I would never have wanted that. I would hate to be a woman who just bumped someone else¡¯s existence out. Oh Fates, what if she¡¯s in my body, screaming, but I can¡¯t hear her? Utter fridge horror.¡± Tucker looked up to her and meowed softly. She flopped back on the couch and gave the absurd idea a second thought. ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ve read too many manga and online web fiction. Mommy¡¯s a little bit eccentric, Tucker.¡± He responded with a sound that was halfway between a purr¡­and someone snickering. This cat was smarter than he let on. Vol. 1, Ch. 31: Employee Onboarding Fiona was surprised to find their new employee wearing presentable clothes, slicked-back feathers, and a nervous smile as he sat by the steps of the shop, early next morning. Bonnie and Greg had just met her by the corner of the row, and even they were surprised. Fiona pulled her coat closer to her neck¨Csome of these early fall days were getting chilly, and even her status as a Northeast girl was doing little to prepare her for the bite to the air. Maybe elves didn¡¯t have the same body fat? Probably. But the cold couldn¡¯t dissuade the proud moment she had when she called out to Kali. ¡°Look who showed up! I had fifty-fifty odds that you''d be here,¡± she laughed. Greg unhappily handed a gold coin from his pocket, and it hummed in her hand. "Hey, I meant what I said. I''ll give it a try. So uh, you really meant all that, yesterday?" He raised a feathery eyebrow, but he sounded hopeful. ¡°Don¡¯t ruffle your feathers, kid, I meant it. It¡¯s not my style, or Bonnie¡¯s to throw someone to the wolves,¡± Fiona told him proudly. The kitsune let out an amused sound from her throat and gazed at Kali with her ocean-blue eyes. ¡°Now, try to not look all snack like for this magical vixen, will you? You know what they say, fox in the henhouse kind of deal.¡± ¡°What¡¯s a hen?¡± Kali asked anxiously while rubbing his hands together. ¡°Oh, this poultry back at home that everyone swears tastes like everything else!¡± she answered back. ¡°Now, time for your onboarding, young man! We¡¯ve got stuff to do, and I have things to learn from your skill suite! So educate me in your ways!¡± ¡°I should have picked jail,¡± he sighed. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t blame you, especially if you knew who I was in advance.¡± She couldn¡¯t help but smile evilly at him. ¡°First, a few rules. You steal, you go to jail. You help other people steal, and I¡¯ll make you into braised chicken. Please be on time, and dressed presentably. We must be fashionable as we make commerce!" Kali grunted. "I don''t have a lot of nice clothes. Most of them are hand me downs I have to custom tailor myself for my wings." "I''ll talk to the orphanage." Greg sounded sincere in his words, but Fiona knew he might still be irritated. "Oh, one more important rule! The most important one!" Fiona leaned in, and an evil smile creased her face. "Steal my snacks, and you¡¯re doomed.¡± She tapped her coat for emphasis. ¡°Know what this coat is made of?¡± ¡°It¡¯s¡­griffin feather down. Feral griffins, based on the coloration.¡± this sharp-minded kid knew his stuff, she realized, as he tapped his beak, as if thinking. ¡°What about it?¡± ¡°I would like to emphasize that people who try to kill me, or worse, steal my snacks, become next fall¡¯s fashion lineup!¡± she added as she wrapped the coat gently. His eyes did that massive dilation thing again, as he shook his head up and down in acknowledgment. ¡°I presume this griffin attempted to perform one of those ill-advised actions?¡± he clicked with his beak. ¡°Ring-a-ding-ding, baby!¡± Fiona cackled. ¡°So, now that you know what not to do, onward with the tour!¡± Ten minutes later, they had the shop prepped for business, and Fiona walked their new ¡®hire¡¯ around. ¡°So, Mister fast-fingers. Tell me, what was your vocation before all this?¡± ¡°You mean before I dropped out of school for law studies? Yeah I know, ironic,¡± he added with a roll of his eyes. ¡°I liked studying. I also had a knack for little wizard tricks. Sleight-of-hand stuff used to impress audiences. I made chump change on the street for the orphanage. Stealing was better pay per hour to get into Bricker''s school for the legal system.¡± ¡°Great career, bad plan,¡± Fiona groused. She had to remind herself that this was a teenager who didn''t always have common sense down to fine art. ¡°If you got busted by someone other than me, you could kiss that career goodbye. A legal professional who himself broke the law? Nah, you''d never make it in.¡± ¡°I¨Cuh¡­I never got caught,¡± he stammered out. She sighed and rolled up her sleeves. She was starting to think of the button-collar shirt and vest as her armor on this business battlefield. ¡°Look, at some point, you were going to get caught, or miscalculate badly. Now, here''s my first query for you, as a merchant, and as your prospective employer.¡± She waved to the displays. ¡°What''s wrong with this setup?¡± ¡°Bad visibility from the counter, and no arcane relays to sight on the blind spots.¡± He came up with the answer on the spot, his avian eyes peering at the varying corners. ¡°Your witch¨C¡± ¡°Mage, buster,¡± Bonnie growled with her claws tensed. Kali cleared his throat in response. ¡°Forgive me, mage, has the right application. You leave fool thieves vulnerable, thinking the job is easy. Hell, sometimes high security scares off customers on rare occasions,¡± he continued to assess, then took off with a flap of his wings to the second-floor railing and perched all bird-like. The space up there wasn¡¯t used yet¨Cit was serving as extra storage, though it had been cleaned. ¡°Now, from my vantage point, you have exactly three blind spots, from your kiosk, to your displays. Someone could easily run in, jig the case open or spoof the wards, and walk out, without breaking a sweat.¡± ¡°He is¡­correct,¡± Greg offered a few seconds later. ¡°We have been in such a hurry, that I admit to that oversight.¡± ¡°That''s not all. Your scanner ward is an old design, miss¡­¡± Kali got the curious head tilt Bonnie for a second, before her expression softened. ¡°Revere,¡± she answered. Kali nodded and landed smoothly with a quick hop down to the ground floor. ¡°What about the wards?¡± He pointed to the subtle rune on the floor that Bonnie had painted in, and the outline was barely visible. ¡°It can be spoofed with the right masker enchantment. It will pick up flags from the town guard when they update their relays, but the signal can be jacked. I''ve done it twice. I could demonstrate¨C¡± Bonnie put a hand up to halt him, and narrowed her eyes. She looked reluctant to answer before firming up again. ¡°We can do that later. But, you have highlighted a known exploit. You aren''t in the system, so it wouldn''t work for you.¡±Stolen story; please report. ¡°Like I said, be a ghost, and you never have a problem,¡± he said while sounding cocky. Fiona snerked at the internal pun, and he raised a feathery eyebrow. ¡°What''s so funny?¡± ¡°You. You''re quite smart, but did dumb things. You could have just done this from the start!¡± ¡°I¡¯m not sure I want to be branded forever as a rogue. A lot of people can be pretty biased about your first class,¡± he sighed. ¡°I mean, what if my destined class was ¡®assassin¡¯ for instance? Would you trust me?¡± ¡°How would I know? I wouldn¡¯t ask someone about their class, just like I wouldn¡¯t ask them about their home life. Or, anything with reasonable expectations of privacy,¡± she shrugged. ¡°Sheesh, what place did you grow up in? Everyone asks about a class when you¡¯re taking a career,¡± he pointed out. Greg nodded reluctantly beside her. ¡°It¡¯s not like you could hide it forever, anyway. That¡¯s one of the skills of the administrators. However, it doesn¡¯t work on quite everyone. Sometimes strong-willed or deceptive people can fool them.¡± ¡°By and large, most employers will not force the issue,¡± Greg interjected in a tempering tone. ¡°The experience here in Fiefdala is generally quite¡­open. However, that may not be the case elsewhere. The Unified Kingdoms do keep a modicum of respect for the privacy of their citizens on this significant aspect of their lives. But a class is not a direct measure of one''s actions.¡± ¡°Thank you, Greg,¡± Fiona did feel a certain relief from that technical answer of his. Though she did wonder what this merchant ability of hers was telling her. ¡°Anyway, let¡¯s get onto your duties, which I am making up as I go!¡± ¡°Uh¡­have you ever run a place before?¡± Kali questioned with a finger raised in the air. ¡°Of course! Do you think this is my first go? I didn¡¯t always turn monsters into next winter''s fashion accessory line as a hobby!¡± she declared proudly. ¡°Summer might be tougher now that I¡¯m not quite as active on that front.¡± ¡°Ahem,¡± Greg cleared his throat. ¡°Right. So, your job will be security, and inventory. Greg is doing too many things right now, and quite frankly, we need more people. Now, the security part you¡¯ve gotten well, but I have questions about your prowess on other fronts.¡± Kali glanced around the room as if to read the mood. The answer to him resulted in him firming up his expression, tightly etched and focused. ¡°How much inventory do you have?¡±
The thing that Fiona learned about Kali, is that he was quite adorable when he had that beady-eyed look, like he was an oversized beanie baby. And he¡¯d been making that face for a good couple of minutes as he stared at the treasure vault. ¡°Good gods. All of them.¡± Kali wandered across the floor, looking at the various treasures, equipment, artifacts, and other baubles that littered the area. Some were wrapped up in burlap, and heavy paper wrap with twine tied around them. Kali peered at the list in his hands, provided by Greg. ¡°And you have to pay tax on this?¡± ¡°Yeah, this dragon screwed me. If I ever run into Doug again, I¡¯m making him into boots,¡± Fiona growled. Greg twitched at this assertion, and she turned to face him. ¡°Yes, Greg, I am gonna make him into boots! I want a pair of dragon scale boots, and dragons are only good for kidnapping princesses, stealing treasure, and being a giant leech on the local livestock economy!¡± ¡°Fiona, dragons are sentient beings,¡± Greg sighed. You can¡¯t make boots out of them.¡± ¡°Hey, who made you a dragon advocate?!¡± Fiona asked him accusingly. ¡°He tried to set me on fire! Feebly, mind you. That armor I was wearing was something! Then it became hammer time, and he regretted that! Anyway, the point is, if it tries to kill me, I will make it into fashion wear!¡± ¡°I pray you keep a keen list of all the sentient monsters you¡¯re not supposed to turn into fashion trends,¡± Greg responded with a wrinkling of his brow. ¡°Now, Kali, my question to you. What is your assessment of this room?¡± ¡°You have the only rune keys to get in and out?¡± he asked. ¡°They are magically encoded. Only employees can get in and out, and the bank keeps a record log of all ingress and egress. The treasure is also enchanted¨Cthanks to Bonnie¨Cto be magically traceable.¡± Kali frowned. ¡°I don¡¯t like it. You leave this inventory sitting around, in one giant pot. If someone gets in here, they¡¯re cleaning you out, period. And Miss Revere is a talent, but no magic is without a counter, from what I¡¯ve learned.¡± ¡°Oh, there¡¯s rarely a person that could out-fox me,¡± she added with a toothy grin, and an adjustment of her wide-brimmed hat. Fiona still wanted one of those¨Cmaybe she could wear one for whatever passed for Halloween around here! Though, she doubted it was going to be the same here in this world¨Cor even existed. Bonnie strolled toward the large gold statue. ¡°Kali, how would someone move this?¡± ¡°They don''t,¡± he answered. ¡°Big items are massive risks for thieves. It might be worth a lot, but you¡¯re not physically moving this thing. It weighs¡­probably a few tons. How¡¯d you even get it in here?¡± ¡°Levitation, and a lot of patience,¡± Bonnie replied coolly. ¡°So Greg, what do you want to do?¡± Fiona however, had to test something. She grunted and tried to lift the statue by the base, but barely could lift it more than a few inches. "Oof. Someone lied on this one. Its not all gold, it''s still heavy!" Kali was staring at the relatively slender elf lift what must be an absurd amount of weight, and clucked. "Gods. How are you doing that? Even if it isn''t gold, how are you able to move it?" "I call it...24 carat magic!" She let the statue down with a thud, and a film of dust blew outwards, making Greg cough. Kali continued to stare, speechless Greg however, wasn''t silent for long. "You aren''t human, Fiona. I''m convinced of it," he stated deadpan while brushing off the dust. "Hey, I''m an elf! That''s human...ish. Anyway, Greg, inventory time for our new associate Kali. Let''s go over duties." ¡°We''re indexing it,¡± he answered simply. ¡°I want you to categorize it all, Kali. By weight, prospective buyers, and possible value spread. You¡¯ll need to research the market a bit. The problem we have is the volume we have to move, and keep a roof over our heads.¡± ¡°Sheesh. I thought I had problems.¡± He smoothed his feather mane and frowned at the list. ¡°Damn, this guy overvalued a lot of items to jack the tax rate, if I¡¯m looking at these numbers correctly. How have you not challenged this yet? Even I could tell you, this isn¡¯t worth that much.¡± ¡°We¡¯ve been busy. And if you can find us someone who is above board in assessments that isn¡¯t in favor of the current King, who has been¡­how does one put this?¡± Greg was searching for a term that was just nice enough to not be impolite, and Kali beat him to it. ¡°A giant sleazebag?¡± Kali finished with a roll of his eyes. ¡°Someone who isn¡¯t inclined to leave us with an unfair assessment, who is licensed, and has a clean record,¡± Greg corrected with a tap of a pen against his arcanist pad. Kali frowned, and then his eyes lit up. ¡°I might know a guy. But it won¡¯t be easy to convince him. He¡¯s going to charge you a song to assess this much.¡± ¡°We don¡¯t need it all assessed. Just the biggest items,¡± Greg redirected. He looked at the pile of smaller baubles and low-quality enchanted items. ¡°These, for instance, wouldn¡¯t need it. We just sell them at the market, and ticket the loss. Because we didn¡¯t have acquisition costs, we¡¯re fine. But that won¡¯t hold forever. Now how would you move this, logistically?¡± ¡°Hmm. Put it in lockboxes, sort it, index it. I¡¯ll need a couple of days, you guys left this a mess,¡± Kali reasoned. Fiona couldn¡¯t help but smile. ¡°So you can apply yourself.¡± ¡°I can. I just need to study. The problem is, the library doesn''t count for accreditation,¡± Kali sighed. ¡°If I help you with this effort, are we square?¡± ¡°Consider this three months your probationary period, Kali. You¡¯re hired,¡± Fiona beamed. Greg also gave the silent nod, and Bonnie, while eyeing the avian like one would view a turkey leg at a Renaissance Fair, didn¡¯t disagree. ¡°Be on time, call us if anything comes up, and Bonnie won¡¯t have to resort to hexing you.¡± ¡°If he can execute as well as he¡¯s talking, and not mouthing off? I might be disappointed at wasting such a fine hex,¡± Bonnie said while leaning on a statue, and firing off a grin at Kali. ¡°I think you''ll do fine.¡± ¡°Pretty sure I won¡¯t like what happens in the next three months, if you¡¯re crazy enough to get dragged in a mad-cap flight across downtown.¡± Kali snapped the notebook shut. ¡°Just pay me a living wage, so that I can afford classes.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll handle that assessment,¡± Greg jumped in. ¡°Fiona, shall we head back? The store opening is soon.¡± ¡°Right then. Let¡¯s get to work,¡± she announced with a beaming smile. She loved motivated employees. Vol. 1, Ch. 32: Dinner At Gallies, Part One The end of the week couldn¡¯t come soon enough, and Fiona was staring at the clock, edging its way to 6 pm. The sun was already edging down past the horizon, and the last customer was finishing up with Bonnie, while she was busy locking down displays. It had been another solid day, and she¡¯d finally sold the frost armor that Greg had quizzed her on earlier in the week--a major sale, indeed. Most of the items they¡¯d sold were cheap to mid-range, but they had moved a lot of them, to the satisfaction of many customers. Greg was doing his end-of-day routine of checking the receipts, and jotting down the numbers on his arcanist pad. ¡°Not quite as much momentum as our first day, but, by all means, a cracking good day. Excellent work. I might have to learn some showmanship." She swore she heard a hint of amusement in his tone. ¡°And how¡¯s our newbie doing?¡± Fiona grinned. ¡°I spoke with him earlier. Still assessing. He gave me the name of the contact for assessments. We¡¯ll have to be¡­careful about how we approach this. By law, we are allowed to pick our assessor. But the Kingdom can check the accreditation.¡± ¡°Death by bureaucracy,¡± Fiona sighed. ¡°At least it¡¯s not a total monarchy, the big council can veto the big blondie dweeb if they don¡¯t like what he has to say, and Rikkard is still dodging my calls. Now, where are we going Greg, spill it!¡± she pressed as she got up close to him, smiling coyly. Greg did that stoic face where he just gazed at her, like a slab of marble. ¡°C¡¯mon, tell us!¡± ¡°I do believe the point is to keep it a secret, until we¡¯re there,¡± Greg answered with little emotion. She smiled wider at him. She could coax answers out of anyone! Except for Greg, apparently. This cookie was tough to crumble, and he did that stern gaze right back. ¡°Fiona, we¡¯re there for dinner casual. But do mind yourself when we get there.¡± She grinned at this idea. ¡°Oh, why do you think I¡¯ll misbehave? Do I strike you as the kind to get into trouble?¡± ¡°You strike me as the kind to get me on a blacklist,¡± he stated flatly, wrinkling his nose. ¡°And Bonnie¡­¡± he trailed off when she tapped her wand with a click of her claws, and the brass and silver rod lit up with an eerie green light. ¡°Is there an unpopular opinion I can fix?¡± she asked sweetly. Greg finally cracked with a bit of a nervous smile. ¡°Nope. Now, let¡¯s finish up, I talked to Jake already via my relay. They¡¯ll meet us there at 6:30, come as you are. Think of it as¡­bliss times?¡± ¡°Man, you guys got a lot of strange names. We called that happy hour, back where I came from!¡± Fiona pouted just a little, and let her ears droop to mark her disappointment. Greg was not shamed in the slightest for failing to cave. The noted hour came, and they were standing on the brickwork walkway that formed the heart of the commerce sector. There was the sound of dull music coming from inside, and she rubbed her hands with glee. This music had a vibe to her liking, like something from an electronic dance club! She didn¡¯t know why it excited her, but it sounded like something from Earth¡­almost. Greg took note, and smiled. ¡°Welcome to Gallie¡¯s, by the way. I heard about this place a little while ago.¡± He guided them up past the arcane torches, now dancing with gold and orange flames housed within. The white stone building with wooden truss work had all the feel of something that felt very homely to her, on this end of town. ¡°Sounds a little off-beat, doesn¡¯t it?¡± he proposed. ¡°Oh, it¡¯s my kind of beat," Fiona answered warmly. Bonnie was next to her, peering at her and tapping a paw pad to the ground at the same beat, and that grin across her muzzle was growing. Fiona took note and elbowed her playfully. ¡°Aha, you do have a certain taste! We¡¯re like sisters from different universes!¡± ¡°Hah! Better wish that part isn¡¯t true, because I don¡¯t think you want to match my wild tendencies,¡± she flashed a toothy smirk. A flap of wings got their attention on the street, and they saw Nick fluttering in¨Cwith Cita in tow, no less! Fiona wondered how on Cepalune they had enough strength to fly, but she figured it was just part of the magic of the world. Jake came in by the streetside, though with his tall stature, he was outpacing them on the ground. He waved casually, his mane slicked back and tied in a slight braid down his nape. Fiona smiled¨Che did have a sense of style, after all. ¡°Fi, Bon-bon! Glad you guys could make it. Oh, sorry Greg, you blended in too well,¡± Jake joked, and Nick let out a soft cawing sound from his throat. ¡°Well now, you¡¯ve got us all here. Excellent choice of place, Greg." ¡°It¡¯s kept pretty low-key, on who knows about it,¡± Greg shrugged before they headed in past the propped-open double doors. The ambiance was darker inside, with the arcane torches turned down low, and a receptionist at a booth was standing there¨Ca pretty blonde girl with long flowing hair tied back with a simple braid, and jotting down reservations. Greg stepped forward to the woman and announced their name, and she waved them to the glass door. ¡°Go on in, table six is open for you. Now, I do caution you, the servers are instructed not to solicit¨C¡±The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. ¡°It¡¯s not my first time,¡± Greg assured her, though Fiona¡¯s ears twitched at that. What did that mean, exactly? He waved them in, and Jake was grinning from ear to ear. ¡°Didn¡¯t know you frequented here too, Greg,¡± he said with a slap on his shoulder. Greg gently rubbed at the impact site, but still returned a smile. ¡°Let it never be said that I don¡¯t occasionally enjoy myself.¡± He opened the door and Fiona went slack-jawed at the spectacle of the room, with dozens of tables in an open seating, several rows demarcated between them. This place was lively, indeed. A band was playing up on a stage, just elevated from the rest of the room, with a few draperies adorning the glass windows on the back end, where the twilit sky could be just barely seen. A human male played on a flute. A darkling played a fancy note on a lute. A catgirl¨Cor a nekotake, she thought they were called? She was playing the equivalent of an old guitar, with well-loved wood forming the frame, and using her claws as picks to strike up a melody that gave her the feel of something deep and earthly. There had to be a hundred people in the room, all having dinner and enjoying themselves, from all slices of life. A few were fine-dressed nobles, a few others were wearing casual clothes, but most were average-dressed. They quickly hurried to their table on the side, by a window showing a small glimmer of the lake, with one of the moons rising over the water. But she was staring because the waiters¨Cand waitresses¨Cwere all avians that looked like they came from an owl tribe, with big, saucer eyes. They all moved at a hustled pace, and with barely a single whisper. And they were all dressed more than a little provocatively, and walking around and taking orders like this was absolutely routine. Fiona¡¯s eyes lit up at this, she hadn¡¯t been to a place like this in¨C Bonnie clapped a paw gently over her gaping mouth, the ultimate pun just in reach. ¡°Don¡¯t, I know that look, girl. I know you''ve got some kind of pun or bad joke coming," Bonnie interjected sweetly. ¡°But, I gotta!¡± Fiona moaned past pink padded fingers. ¡°Don¡¯t stop me, Bonnie! I¡¯ll fight you!¡¯¡± Bonnie booped her on the nose in response. ¡°No, Fiona.¡± Fiona pouted and her ears bent back to show her disapproval. But, was willing to let it go, and she leaned over to give Greg a body-crushing hug. ¡°Oh you rascal Greg, you¡¯ve been holding out, you know what I loved, I just hope the food matches the decorum. Flashy, and in good taste!¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure it will,¡± he responded with a wheeze. She finally let go of him when his breath sounded just a little too asthmatic for her liking. Bonnie smiled politely next to her, but also was taking the time to smooth the fur on her face and ears, and adjust her dress while she gave a leering smile to Jake. ¡°Aaaand you knew about this place, too, big guy? Oh, that one¡¯s going to cost you, Jakey,¡± she added in a sing-song voice, while Jake shrugged unapologetically. ¡°It¡¯s just good old-fashioned entertainment. And the price is pretty good for the food.¡± ¡°Oh, it¡¯s a buffet,¡± Fiona said while licking her lips in anticipation. Now that this door has been cracked open, she pondered on what other nightlife she¡¯d been missing, and was about to get onto her list of ¡®must-do¡¯ activities. ¡°Greg, no more holding out! We have a special relationship, we don¡¯t keep wonderful secrets like this from your partner!¡± ¡°Business partner,¡± he corrected, and she laughed. ¡°Alright, fine, take the fun out of it! Man, I hope I have some one-gold coins to give them.¡± She did, indeed, spot a few smiling customers, a wolven and a kitsune female, offering a tip to one of the male avians, who nodded formally. They were all lean muscle, despite the feathery fluff. This could be a hoot! No, damn it, the puns have to stop! I only got one, like I promised Bonnie, she thought to herself. The table already had a basket of fresh baked bread, and what appeared to be buttercream sitting next to it. An avian male with dark brown feather markings, a lithe body and wings, and massive green eyes walked up to the table. They held a pen in hand, and had a pad ready. ¡°Good evening, welcome to Gallie¡¯s place! I¡¯m Virgil, and I shall accommodate you this evening. Can I start you with water? Wine?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll start with water, because I gotta quench some thirst,¡± Fiona stated deadpan with a small smile. Bonnie snickered silently, while Greg also wore that polite smile, and asked for water as well. ¡°Wine for me, and the gal,¡± Nick answered, and Cita let out a giggle and also ordered some appetizer that Fiona didn¡¯t quite catch the name of. ¡°So, Fiona, I know we haven¡¯t spoken much, but how''s the store been? We¡¯ve been busy in the guild, a lot of post-action stuff. A lot of it, on account of rebuilding what the dragon army burned down on the east side of the kingdom.¡± ¡°Oh, you know, decent. We broke into the green!¡± she announced proudly, after seeing that slight eye-raise from Greg. ¡°We¡¯re doing pretty good, and we have a new hire!¡± ¡°A new potential employee. He is in his trial period," Greg corrected with an adjustment of his tie, and sounded just a tad bit tired. ¡°I think based on his aptitude, he has some potential to join the team, in the foreseeable future.¡± "You''re warming up to him, aren''t you?" Fiona leaned in, all elven grins and ears slicked back. Greg would not be coaxed easily, and gave her the marble-slabbed face expression again. "I''m willing to evaluate on performance. It''s on him to make sure it stays that way." Nick let out a hoot of laughter. ¡°Sounds like you guys are building talent! Bonnie, what about you?¡± She was still busy giving that vixen smile to Jake, for some reason. ¡°Uh, someone broke our kit, Fiona, give her tail a tug to get her attention, please.¡± ¡°Oh, no. I¡¯m not dumb enough for that,¡± Fiona retorted with a deep frown aimed at the wolven. ¡°Jake, you never told me about this place, either! This is my kind of place, where people can face life bare and unafraid!" ¡°It sounds like you enjoy the entertainment,¡± Greg mused with a well-disguised smile. ¡°Well, I¡¯m glad that I could help. It does feel a tad uncomfortable to come here solo, let¡¯s say.¡± ¡°Greg, you little deviant,¡± Bonnie cooed while twirling the ice in her glass. ¡°Flying here solo? Was that a pun I heard from you, when this place is owned by an all-avian family? How amusing.¡± ¡°An unintended one, for certain,¡± he replied while looking undignified at the notion. ¡°For you Fiona, I recommended the peppered steak. The bison is quite good.¡± ¡°Oh, what¡¯s this, steak? Man, I could use some red meat! Everyone keeps telling me to eat dainty, and that¡¯s a lie! Elves crave the same things as everyone else! I¡¯ll have the uh..¡± she frowned as she read from the menu. ¡°We have fried river crab? I¡¯ll have that! And the breadsticks.¡± She clapped her hands together and let out a gleeful sound. Based on what she saw from the food around them, they were going to be in for a treat. Vol. 1, Ch. 33: Dinner At Gallies, Part Two A few minutes later, Fiona could smell the appetizers coming¨Cand indeed, that crab roll looked delicious when it was set in front of her. ¡°Oh, my goodness. Where have you been all my life, snackling?¡± she uttered in amazement. She could smell that sweet meat packed with all sorts of savory breading, and other seasonings. She hoped elves didn¡¯t have an allergen to any kind of shellfish, because she was about to risk it. She wasn¡¯t disappointed. That meat had a slightly smoky flavor, and it was fried so well, she couldn''t help but make a muted sound of delight. ¡°Greg, you take me to the nicest places. Bestest work friends, ever!¡± she cooed with delight¨Cand quickly downed a breadstick, too. ¡°Jake, speaking of which, where''s your plus one? You talked about them, but we haven¡¯t met them!¡± ¡°Oh, they¡¯re working tonight, as much as it pains me to say it. Don¡¯t worry, we¡¯ll all get together soon,¡± Jake assured them. But expression indicated he was disappointed, based on his slight slump in posture after she asked. She knew better than to ask right now, at dinner. She¡¯d have to follow up with him later. ¡°Anyway, Greg let me know you guys were going to line up a donation of some kind. You know, you didn¡¯t have to do that¨C¡± ¡°Jake, the guild made me into what I am, and has done so much for the kingdom. It¡¯s the least I can do, by remembering my roots,¡± she countered passionately, one hand to her chest. ¡°I still remember those exhausting exercises, and the amazing food, and Marley, with that stick up his arse! Never met a trainer with such a lack of humor!¡± ¡°And that stick has failed to dislodge, even given your attempts to bring charm and humor to the place,¡± Jake mused, and looked enthralled with the menu. ¡°I still don¡¯t know what I want. Someone else has to order, or I¡¯ll never settle on something.¡± ¡°What can I get you?¡± Virgil asked as if showing up by instant reaction, a pen and pad already in hand. ¡°Bison steak, those fried tuber things, and¨CI dunno, can I get more?¡± Fiona asked. Greg laughed at this. ¡°Trust me, you won¡¯t need to.¡± They had several minutes to kill while the meals fired up, and Cita nudged Nick, as if to spur him on something. ¡°So, we heard something about King Barry. Apparently after he left the party, he got super pissed. You must have set him off, Fiona,¡± Nick told her while they¡¯d been chatting about what they had missed. ¡°He has an axe to grind with you, for sure.¡± ¡°I still don¡¯t get that. Like, why would he hoist this bogus debt, just to get me to negotiate a trade deal?¡± she pondered aloud. ¡°Did I piss him off in another life or something? I doubt I did. He could have found someone else.¡± ¡°Unlikely. King Barry was born here,¡± Jake answered with a measure of calm, hands folded together and fingers interlaced. His claws were also trimmed to a neat, and non-lethal length. ¡°But, I did confirm something that you and Bonnie mentioned. He¡¯s trying to secure some kind of trade deal with Vale. The rumor has it, there was a bit of a shake-up in the internal politics of the capital there, about a month or so ago. Very hush-hush. But they¡¯re apparently under new management.¡± ¡°New management is not always better management,¡± Bonnie said venomously. ¡°Especially given their history.¡± ¡°Uh, what history is that?¡± Fiona asked. ¡°Slavery, drug trade, and more,¡± she answered, with her ears tucked back at that mention. ¡°Fiefdala is nice, but go far enough out of your way, you¡¯ll find places that aren¡¯t as uh¡­enlightened as we are here.¡± Fiona took that as a note to start paying attention, and leaned in. ¡°We had a border skirmish with them a while back. They picked a fight they couldn¡¯t win, and Greybeard beat them six ways to Fiersday. He wasn¡¯t messing around. Which is why I¡¯m glad his calm, collected leadership is the norm around here. Barry, is not, as we¡¯ve proven. He¡¯s thin-skinned and a schemer.¡± ¡°So, why¡¯d he put Barry on the throne? He¡¯s got four other kids, even the mage dropout would have been a better choice!¡± Cita stated with a flash of teeth. ¡°I find it pretty suspect that the second Greybeard goes on his little vacation and semi-retirement tour, that Barry jumps in with this.¡± ¡°He¡¯s whipped with that viper, Glados,¡± Fiona proposed. ¡°She¡¯s got that dominating vibe to her. Barry is wrapped around her little manicured finger. And, she¡¯s got a heart filled with lead.¡± ¡°And you know this, how?¡± Jake asked cautiously. She could say that her little winged heart gave her the inclination, but that might sound crazy. ¡°A gut instinct. The way they acted around each other, for more than five minutes,¡± she said with a decidedly more subdued approach. ¡°Barry being on the throne¨Cnot even counting the beef I have with him¨Cis bad.¡± ¡°He is the King in training. For now. I''m not clear on if Greybeard will kick his son off the throne or not, if he does a bad job,¡± Jake cautioned and motioned for temperaments to cool a little with a subtle hand motion. ¡°I do hear from the other guilds that they¡¯ll be putting Barry on a tight leash, because Greybeard did indeed have a level of competence they appreciated. When he gets back with the missus, I¡¯m sure he¡¯ll be of keen interest in what his son has been up to, and Barry knows that. So, he has to deliver.¡± ¡°Bah, he¡¯s skeeving. I can smell it from his greasy pores,¡± Fiona growled, and devoured a breadstick in response. ¡°What else are the guilds saying?¡± ¡°Rebuilding efforts are ongoing in the affected province, and Douglas the Red¨Cthrough some thorough negotiations¨Cwon¡¯t be bothering us again. Funny story, he thought we stole his land from him! That¡¯s ridiculous, though. Dragons tend to just claim things, then take them when no one¡¯s looking,¡± Jake informed them.A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. ¡°Not all of them, Jake, hey! That¡¯s speciesism. The dragon enclave up in the mountains are good trade partner and reliable allies. I think Douglas had a falling out, him and his clan,¡± Nick interjected with a ruffling of feathers. "Plus, doesn''t he have a twin brother or something?" "Egg mates." Greg spoke up with a calm resolve. "Essentially, twins in the same egg. Kier''fraag, Doug''s brother, does not attract attention the way his brother did. I know little of him. Come to think of it, this whole dispute emerged essentially out of nowhere. Douglas was never a problem, and even ran trade with fertilizer and other produce, and some ore refinement, prior to the conflict." ¡°Heh heh. I still beat some humility into him,¡± Fiona beamed. Jake tried not to smirk at that. ¡°I won¡¯t say that you didn¡¯t have a profane impact on him, but¨Cno, some impacting was involved,¡± he added in a quip that got her giggling. ¡°The hard part after the battle is realizing that peace isn¡¯t always perfect. There¡¯s a helping of kobolds and others in his domain that trickled our way, looking for jobs, and not being stuck working in a peat bog all day. All over a piece of land.¡± ¡°Hang on, back up a second. The dragon claimed that we stiffed them on a land deal?¡± Greg asked as if he¡¯d been mulling on something for a moment. ¡°Again, dragon, and when you¡¯re half a ton of scale, lean muscle, have a ravenous appetite, and can bulldoze a whole town, people aren¡¯t keen on arguing with you. Though not all dragons are like that,¡± Jake cautioned. ¡°They have a small slice of a kingdom in the Karave mountains north of here that we¡¯re on good terms with. But as for a land deal, I recall nothing of the sort. I just find it odd¨Cit¡¯s almost as if the dragon thought we stole his land. Greybeard wouldn''t deliberately stiff people like that." The arrival of the food interrupted Jake¡¯s interesting discussion, and Fiona stared at that slab of juicy, succulent meat with a hint of butter and other fresh seasoning in front of her. ¡°Oh, my goodness. That is the biggest steak I¡¯ve ever seen,¡± she gasped as the scent of that steak and fried tubers came to her attention. ¡°Let¡¯s eat!¡± She was not disappointed in the slightest, it was bright pink in the center, juicy, and utterly tender, and she found herself having to slow down, just a little bit to enjoy it. She¡¯d never had anything quite like it. The meat itself also had a slightly sweet taste, and was just a touch gamey¨Cbut it was an utter delight! She wished all meals could be like this. The side of fried tubers were well seasoned¨Cit was almost like curly fries, but something a little more firmly textured. ¡°Well, looks like someone¡¯s enjoying this place,¡± Greg commented in a bemused way while working on his plate¨Ca well-cooked and presented slice of fish, likely caught locally from the lake. It was lightly seasoned, with what looked like a lemon slice to garnish it. ¡°Been saving that appetite for tonight?¡± ¡°Someone hid my snacks,¡± she managed to say between bites, and sent a sly look toward Bonnie. ¡°I wonder who that could have been?¡± ¡°Nonsense, you just left them at home,¡± Bonnie said with a leering grin and her eyes lit up brightly. ¡°Ah-ah, you can¡¯t pull the Jedi mind tricks on me, dear! I¡¯m not weak-willed!¡± she retorted back. ¡°How¡¯s the¡­uh¡­poultry?¡± ¡°It¡¯s pretty good. Greg, thank you for taking us here, it¡¯s nice to relax for a little bit,¡± Bonnie said with a nod towards the ever-composed Greg. Jake and the others were chatting amongst themselves, sounding excited. ¡°Now, I have one question for you two,¡± Jake asked with a grin as he glanced at Nick and Cita. ¡°Aren¡¯t you both supposed to be on duty tomorrow? Better not indulge too much, or I¡¯ll send the manic red-haired elf after ya. You know, to make sure you¡¯ve got some spring in your step!¡± ¡°Pssh. I still have reduced hours on Saturday, but that gives me a day and a half of free time!¡¯ Fiona said with a laugh. ¡°Besides, I think Nick here knows that what is good for the goose, is good for the gander.¡± ¡°Oh dear gods, the puns, Fiona,¡± Bonnie groaned while tugging her ears for emphasis. Nick laughed loudly at that, and Cita giggled along. ¡°You can¡¯t leave things alone, can ya?¡± ¡°If it¡¯s a button that needs pushing, I push it!¡± she grinned and pointed at herself with enthusiasm. ¡°It¡¯s my new goal in life!¡± After a few moments, the tempo had slowed, and everyone had mostly finished up with their meals, and were idle talking. The waiter had come back¨Call handsome looking¨Cand Fiona was tempted to ask if a slice of hunk was also on the menu. She thought better of it because Greg gave her that look of ¡®don¡¯t try it¡¯, like he was reading her mind. She did thank the waiter for the excellent service, and gave him several gold coins for his efforts. Greg was the first to clear his throat, after the conclusion of the meal. ¡°Now, be mindful, we can¡¯t come here every week,¡± he explained after he¡¯d paid for the meal. ¡°But, I think for our first week open¡­we did well. I can say that with confidence, now, even though I had my reservations before.¡± ¡°Greg the realist. Keep these girls juuuust anchored enough to the ground, and I think you guys will do fine. Thank you for that generous goodwill, by the way,¡± Jake chimed in after a few seconds. Cita was more than edging from her chair and leaning on Nick, and being more than a little forward about hanging out, afterward. ¡°Well now guys, thanks for the invite. Next time, I promise to bring my plus one, I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll like to meet them.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t be a stranger, Jacob,¡± Greg assured him. ¡°I think with the kingdom now settled back into something more of a ¡®normal¡¯ state, you might want to think about some more training for peacetime operations.¡± ¡°Yeah, we¡¯ve already started pivoting. We have plenty to finish up, though. Fiona, you sure you don¡¯t want back in?¡± ¡°Hah! My adventuring might be limited to weekends only, Jake. But, you know I¡¯d be with you in a heartbeat if I can!¡± she answered with a wink aimed at him, and a gentle hug before they departed for the evening. They were about to head up the street, but then Fiona heard a flapping of wings¨Cwas that Kali flying toward them?! He landed in a stumble and barely avoided nose-diving into the ground. Or on second thought, beak-diving. She was still getting used to this crazy world, and she let out a sound of shock¨Che was hurt! ¡°Fiona, there¡¯s a problem,¡± he gasped. He looked more than a little ruffled, and she could see scrapes on his face and arms. ¡°I headed back to the shop to check on something. A couple of guys tried to break in, tried to force me to undo the wards! Bonnie hadn¡¯t keyed me in, so I couldn¡¯t! I managed to escape, but¨C¡± ¡°Kali, first off, are you okay?¡± Bonnie gasped, and examined him thoroughly. He winced when she grabbed his arm¨Che¡¯d been bloodied up a little bit, and his clothing had been scuffed and torn. ¡°Second off, who hurt you?¡± Fiona felt her ears twitch and she reached for the veiled haft of her hammer. This was the kid''s first day on the job, and he''d been assaulted. Someone was about to become a carcass for daring to hurt a member of her team. ¡°Took off when I smashed the window to trigger the alarms. The town guard is there,¡± he managed with a ragged breath. ¡°Jake, Nick, Cita, I¡¯ve gotta go,¡± Fiona announced. ¡°Bonnie, get him back on his feet, we need to go back to the shop." Vol. 1, Ch. 34: Breaking And Entering Fiona surveyed the damage¨Cone smashed pane of glass, where Kali had been, but the more worrying sign was the abandoned barrels of alchemical substances hastily left in the alley next to the shop. The town guard were already there, examining everything, and were taking statements from Kali. A medic was giving him a once-over, though Bonnie had fixed the worst of the damage¨Cjust bruises and cuts. ¡°Not exactly how I planned my first day, Kali groaned. ¡°You seem to be a magnet for attention, Miss Swiftheart.¡± ¡°Tell me who they are, and they¡¯re gonna get my hammer stuck up their¨C¡± Fiona started to say but growled when she saw Greg¡¯s dissuading hand wave. ¡°No Greg, no one beats up my employees!¡± ¡°Fiona, you are a one-woman wrecking crew, when it comes to dealing with threats to life and limb. But this requires a more deft hand,¡± he cautioned. The white-furred, blue-eyed female wolven from the town investigatory services also put up a hand of restraint, her light armor and uniform conveying her status. ¡°Miss Swiftheart, I must caution against unilateral action. I understand your concern. This is normally a well-patrolled and low-crime area. But, such things are not impossible.¡± ¡°No, there¡¯s enough pyramine concentrate to burn half the block to the ground,¡± Bonnie growled as she pointed to the barrel now carefully sealed in packaging and tape, with investigatory markings stamped on. ¡°That¡¯s not just ¡®smash and grab'', that¡¯s attempted arson. These barrels need to have neutralizer agents mixed in to make sure they''re safe for transport." ¡°I see that you know your stuff, Miss Revere. Where were you during this?¡± the officer asked and pulled out an arcanist pad, and started jotting in quick, but legible writing. ¡°Dinner. We¡¯d just been out and about for a couple of hours after the shop closed up, over at Gallie¡¯s. Greg made reservations,¡± she added, and Greg nodded firmly. ¡°Kali, when were you here?¡± ¡°Like, eight? I didn¡¯t note the exact time,¡± Kali admitted. ¡°Two guys were in the alley. I had to move some stuff to storage. I just started today, and had the key to the backroom of the shop. But not the key to the main floor.¡± ¡°It¡¯s true, we¡¯re working on access control,¡± Bonnie affirmed. ¡°Did you get a good look at them?¡± ¡°Nah, I didn¡¯t get a good look. I can tell you there was a brown furred Lynxkin and a salamander,¡± he shrugged. ¡°They were tall, though. The salamander had green skin, yellow spots, and orange eyes, I think? Can¡¯t be too many in town. The lynx guy, I dunno. They wanted me to open the lock when they saw me. When I got here, they¡¯d been trying to pick the lock.¡± He pointed to the damaged lock. ¡°I should have just run, but I was like if these guys break in on my first day? I¡¯m losing my job, for sure.¡± ¡°Kali, this is not¨C¡± Fiona sighed. ¡°Look, if there is ever real danger, your job is to protect your life, and the customers, and not the merchandise. That will never be an issue. Greg, make sure you¡¯re¨C¡± ¡°Already on it.¡± Even with him taking notes, she could see his clenched jaw and narrowed eyes. Greg rarely got upset, and when he did, he was quite subtle about it. ¡°Kali, was there anything else distinct about these two?¡± ¡°Dark clothes. Nondescript. No one I¡¯ve met before,¡± he answered, and the town guard took notes. ¡°Sorry, didn¡¯t catch your name, mister¨C¡± ¡°Detective Pierre,¡± the wolven female answered, as she continued jotting notes. ¡°Miss Swiftheart, can you think of anyone who would want to wish harm upon your establishment, or your employees?¡± ¡°I could think of a few,¡± she replied with a growl, and more than unsubtly looked at the spires of the palace in the distance, but said nothing out loud to that effect. ¡°Look, when I was in town between stints slaying monsters, I did some clean-up work with the town investigatory services¡ªclearing out a sewer of some nasty monsters. What a nasty job, I would never do it for gold again,¡± she stated as she tried to not remember that rancid smell. ¡°We found a small smuggling passage, probably for the local gangs in the commerce sector. It was well hidden. They went and busted half a dozen guys for contraband, later. And I was the most visible face, so, maybe?¡± ¡°I find that a stretch, Miss Swiftheart. Why the business, and not your residence?¡± Pierre asked, ears perked up. ¡°You only just opened this shop earlier in the week¨Cto some small accolades, I heard.¡± ¡°Because they know that if they ever hurt Granny, my landlord, I¡¯d smash half the town apart to find them, and I would find them,¡± she declared with her teeth on edge. ¡°I mean, I also beat up a dragon lord. He could have sent people to do this, because he¡¯s jelly as all hell that I took his contraband and am selling it to people who could use it. Sadly, when we checked it, we couldn¡¯t find the owners. So far." ¡°I can vouch for that,¡± Greg stated, as he continued to scribble. ¡°Can you think of any recent uptick in criminal activity?¡± ¡°No. They''ve kept their heads down while Fiefdala was dealing with the dragon lord¨Cthey didn¡¯t want the ire of the town watch,¡± Pierre shrugged. ¡°Alright, I¡¯ve got your information, and you said you had reservations at¨C¡± ¡°Gallie¡¯s,¡± Greg answered. ¡°We just opened up a shop, we were making money. We would not do this to ourselves, if you are insinuating¨C¡± ¡°Mister Lockheed, I do need all the facts. Pretend I know nothing,¡± Pierre assured him. ¡°Business fraud is one crime there¡¯s been an uptick on, though. Price gouging, for instance, with the efforts against the dragon lord making some items a little scarce.¡±Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon. ¡°I understand, but Miss Swiftheart is¨C¡± ¡°The damsel of the hour, yes, I understand. You did a lot of good here and out in the field,¡± the detective interrupted, even as she closed his notepad, and gave a small nod to her. ¡°My cousin says you saved his life in the Fen Fields, before he almost got run through by some kobolds. I have you to thank for that.¡± ¡°Hey, I knew that guy! The newbie¡­it was¡­um¡­Trask!¡± she snapped her fingers, and felt immediately relieved. Pierre nodded more enthusiastically. ¡°Kid needs more training, no offense, he could use a few more months in the adventurer¡¯s guild before he goes back out there to fight monsters¨Cor cute plushie lizard guys. Seriously, those guys gave Graybeard a hard time?¡± ¡°They fight viciously, but flee when their leaders are otherwise incapacitated,¡± Pierre answered dryly. ¡°At any rate, I believe I have the information I need, along with the description from Mister Kali Nostrom. Are you aware he¡¯s a juvenile?¡± ¡°Apprenticing in my shop,¡± Fiona answered hastily. Greg also nodded in unison. ¡°We have him under a provisional position. I believe he shows some talent for the endeavor. I also reached out to the orphanage he is currently housed at,¡± he added stiffly. Greg did think of everything¨Cshe¡¯d be hosed if she had to remember all these eight million legal steps on her own. ¡°Rest assured, we¡¯re still filling out paperwork.¡± ¡°Aye. Paperwork. I¡¯m buried by it half the time,¡± Pierre sighed, and smoothed her silky mane. ¡°Well at any rate the damage is minimal. We can have someone from the crafter¡¯s guild come out to fix it in the morning.¡± ¡°Warding it up,¡± Bonnie interjected as she adjusted the brim of her hat, and was already sealing up the broken pane with her magic in a light aura of shimmering hexagons. A bead of sweat dripped off her fur, and she gritted her teeth as she used her wand to seal the opening with the temporary barrier. ¡°That¡¯ll hold for a few days. Kind of pissed about this one, this is not how I wanted my day to end.¡± ¡°Bonnie, the shops¡¯ safe. So isn¡¯t Kali,¡± Fiona assured her, and Bonnie glanced at her, her eyes deeply cowled. But, that grim look did soften a bit. ¡°Look, we¡¯ll review this over the weekend. Hopefully, this is a one-off.¡± ¡°Boy, you sure do keep it interesting, Fi,¡± Bonnie said with a bit of fatigue edged in her voice. ¡°Greg, I think I¡¯m tapped out. Wanna head back my way? It¡¯s on the way to the apartment.¡± ¡°Actually, we should probably head back to Miss Swiftheart¡¯s apartment,¡± Greg proposed, and also nodded to Kali. ¡°just for safety''s sake.¡± Fiona didn¡¯t know why, but she was trusting him on this one. She glanced down at her wrist, and then at him. It was a weird feeling¨Cboth light, and heavy, when she looked at him. It was the first time she¡¯d gotten this kind of ¡®signal¡¯ from him, but she had no idea what it meant. But, she had the feeling she was going to find out. ¡°Lights are out at nine, I¡¯m gonna get busted,¡± Kali sighed. Greg put an assuring hand on his shoulder and guided him up. ¡°No, I¡¯ll put in a word. Detective Pierre, are we set here?¡± ¡°You¡¯re not under investigation, this has the appearance of either a break-in, or someone with a grudge. We¡¯ll tighten up patrols in the area. In the meantime, if you can think of anyone who would want to do this to you guys, or you have any evidence, give my relay a call,¡± she added as she tapped her device to the small, quaint relay that Greg kept in his vest pocket. ¡°Alright, let¡¯s get going, then. Kali, we¡¯ll drop you off on the way back to Fiona¡¯s apartment,¡± Greg straightened up, and glanced at the shop, with the arcane lights lit up inside.
After they dropped off Kali, the group headed to Fiona¡¯s apartment, and the soft sound of a violin could be heard in Granny¡¯s apartment, along with her husband singing softly. It had been a rather quiet walk back, until they got here. She smiled at that sound¨Cthey were the definition of a loving couple, enriched by song and culture, from what she¡¯d gathered. She unlocked the door and had to keep Tucker from turning Greg into his personal scratching post¨Cthough, the cat did try to sit on his shoulders and lick his hair, once he sat down on the couch. ¡°Do I need grooming, cat? My hair is fine,¡± Greg growled at Tucker, who looked at him in amusement with a flicker of blue eyes, then proceeded to lick his hair one last time. Greg made a disgusted sound, and the cat proceeded to slink down and sit on his lap, purring gently. ¡°Oh, fine. Just don¡¯t tenderize me, Tucker.¡± ¡°Aw, he loves you, Greg,¡± Fiona said with affection. ¡°Now, you¡¯ve been acting a bit off lately, so, why don¡¯t you tell me what¡¯s up.¡± ¡°Me, off?¡± he echoed. But, she could see that look downward, that he did have something he wanted to say. ¡°Well, you could be more right than you know.¡± ¡°Oh, boy. Greg, I get it, the shop could have gotten torched. We¡¯re lucky Kali was there. I wonder if he¡¯s the one that gave them the¨C¡± She stopped when Greg quickly snapped his hand up, to try to wave off the awful suggestion. ¡°They were not there for Kali, nor did he have anything to do with it.¡± The sound of the silence was quite deafening, even for her sensitive ears, and even Bonnie perked up. ¡°How do you know that?¡± Bonnie asked, and leaned in out of curiosity. Greg rolled back his sleeve¨Cwhich was something he didn¡¯t normally do, and he glanced down at his wrist. ¡°Because I have this feeling that they might have been there to send a message to me.¡± He had this reserved, sullen look on his face, the way he clenched his jaw tightly, and his eyes narrowed. ¡°I am bringing this up now, because I believe it pertinent to know all the facts, and before we jump to conclusions about Kali.¡± ¡°Greg, what are you trying to say? Is this the part where you say you weren¡¯t a paper-pushing accountant, or running surveys on ancient civilizations this whole time?¡± Fiona asked. ¡°Because, we won¡¯t judge you. Your business acumen is just as good, if not better than mine sometimes. And you have been forthright about your reservations about some of my more unconventional decisions.¡± ¡°I wish it were that easy. No, I walked away from a problem not of my choosing. And that problem didn¡¯t like that,¡± he sighed, and she could see a mark starting to form on his wrist. It looked almost like¡­a clenched iron fist, with a scrunched scroll of paper in its hands. The ironclad glove was bloodied. ¡°My problem stems from my family, Fiona. I didn¡¯t create it for myself. But I most certainly didn¡¯t solve it in a way that kept it from coming back eventually.¡± He showed the mark to Bonnie, whose eyes widened at this. Fiona knew that showing someone their mark, was a sign of big trust and that this moment shouldn¡¯t be seen as anything less than that. ¡°I waited too long to pick a class, on the insistence of my father, who is a rather¡­ well-known character in the kingdom. But not well loved.¡± ¡°Who is he?¡± Fiona asked. ¡°You¡¯ve never mentioned him before.¡± ¡°Fiona,¡± Bonnie sighed, and looked right at her, ¡°I think I know what he¡¯s talking about. The Lockheeds are a family of ill repute. I just didn¡¯t think you were related to the Lockheeds,¡± she added, even as she took Greg¡¯s hand in her own. ¡°Is this what I think it is?¡± Greg nodded, and let out an exhale of resignation. ¡°My destined class was to be an enforcer for the Lockheed family. My family is one with deep connections to the criminal element of the kingdom.¡± Vol. 1, Ch. 35: All In The Family Well, crap. Those were the first two words going through Fiona¡¯s head when Greg made this less-than-stellar announcement, and she¡¯d wondered if she had missed the signs. Or some of them, at least. She¡¯d known for sure he knew how to handle himself in a fight, with his weapon stance and ease at which he handled the weapons in the vault. Not to mention his Greg-fu footwork, especially against the alley thugs. But this? This was beyond her comprehension. ¡°Let me get this right, Greg. Your family is like the magical mafia. Am I off base here?¡± She wanted to trust Greg here. It was exceedingly unlikely he''d torch his own success. ¡°What¡¯s a mafia?¡± Greg inquired, looking confused. ¡°A family of crime doers, typically with a literal family origin, or from a shared location of origin,¡± she answered. ¡°Then, yes, my family has a reputation for being suspected¨Cand correctly so¨Cof being a magical mafia. It¡¯s the family business,¡± he grunted, and Bonnie was stony-faced. ¡°Greg, you¡¯ve got baggage, too? Sheesh, I know how to pick friends that keep it lively, don¡¯t I?¡± Bonnie sighed in a possible moment of self-reflection. ¡°Okay, yeah, I get it, we don¡¯t all get born to the best of families. That¡¯s not a big deal!¡± ¡°It is, when your father expects you, as the favored son, to follow in his footsteps,¡± Greg countered lightly. ¡°My mother made it clear she did not want me on in this, and warned me repeatedly to be wary. My father made me sit in on some of his ¡®business meetings¡¯ at times. I saw quite a few unsavory things. I¡¯ll spare you the details unless they become pertinent to the present. My father is of ill repute, and has avoided the town watch for years, because he has never had his hands directly on his ¡®activities¡¯ of questionable repute.¡± ¡°Oh, how bad could it be?¡± Fiona asked, ever the hopeful skeptic. Greg raised an eyebrow at that question. ¡°No really, how bad could it be, Greg? I¡¯ve always known you to be the no-nonsense guy, a complete straight-shooter.¡± Greg grunted audibly. ¡°Oh it could be pretty bad. Gambling, illegal contraband substances¡­women of the night, money laundering, and possible murder of family rivals. Of course, I can¡¯t prove all of those, my father did choose compartmentalization to isolate himself from the business, and trained me to do the same. Or he would have, had I not walked out and never looked back,¡± he added with a hint of irritation. ¡°He was not happy about that, to say the least. The first time he tried to bring me back¡­I left a few men crippled and on the floor. But breathing, at least.¡± ¡°Damn, Greg, I knew you were holding out! You¡¯re this reserved badass, I knew it!¡± Fiona said with glee. But he didn¡¯t look amused in the slightest. ¡°Okay, I get it, you¡¯re not proud of it. But, how do you know that this is related to you?¡± ¡°When Gendry showed up at the shop. He¡¯s a¡­client of my father''s. I knew I took a risk when I took him on to do some above-board accounting work,¡± Greg uttered while steepling his fingers together, and Tucker kept purring on his lap. ¡°That was my mistake. I thought I could keep myself insulated against all that.¡± ¡°Damn it, I liked that guy! His kid was cute!¡± Fiona fumed. ¡°No more business with him!¡± ¡°No, he does only above-board activities for my father. But he also talks to my father on occasion and likely learned I was servicing his accounts of late. My father, the elder Travis Lockheed, has not forgotten our falling out, and is now probably jealous of my legitimate success,¡± Greg offered with a measure of restraint. ¡°Oh, oh that won¡¯t stand,¡± Bonnie uttered with gritted teeth. ¡°I¡¯m gonna go put a hex¨C¡± ¡°Don¡¯t do anything reckless,¡± Greg cautioned. ¡°I don¡¯t think my father would attempt to burn down our business within a week. That would not be a typical behavior pattern for him, and he¡¯s not utterly vicious. He has principles.¡± ¡°It sounds like that jerk¡¯s face has a kissing date with my hammer,¡± Fiona growled. ¡°Greg, c¡¯mon, just go to the town guard, if you have a suspicion! They¡¯ll take care of it!¡± ¡°I don''t have concrete proof it was him, for sure,¡± he countered. ¡°There is one other possibility. A rival family, looking to strike at vulnerable members of my father¡¯s family. Since I left the fold in a very visible way, they may figure I¡¯m the softest target, to send a message.¡± ¡°Greg, let me tell you something: I solve my problems one of two ways. One of them involves my hammer,¡± she added with a subtle pounding motion into her fist. ¡°The second way is to give them an offer they can¡¯t refuse. Which sometimes leads to the first option, the hammer. I seem to like using my hammer a little too much, to be honest. It solves monster problems." Greg let out a soft exhale. ¡°No, Fiona, we are not going to be smashing up the criminal underworld like you would a slime monster, or overly arrogant dragons. The winning move right now, is to be diligent. We want the town watch on our side, and vigilante acts will lose that support.¡± ¡°But, I wanna hit stuff! They could have seriously hurt Kali! He might have been a bit of a thief, but he¡¯s got a good heart! He was paying dutiful attention today. And he came to us first!" Fiona declared with passion. ¡°For fear of the judicial application of your hammer,¡± Greg stated dryly. She frowned at him. ¡°You were thinking about it.¡± ¡°No, Greg, I wasn¡¯t. Bonnie, what¡¯s your take on all this?¡± she asked. Bonnie tilted her ears, and put a hand to her chin. ¡°Well, we have fire suppressants and my wards. But, if someone was determined to cause some damage, they could. Greg, I gotta be real with you, This is a notch above what I was expecting. You could have told us you have family problems.¡± ¡°What good would that have done? I haven¡¯t talked to my father, or my younger brother and sister, in a few years,¡± he replied with a wrinkled brow. ¡°I thought this was long past me. And no, before you ask, I did not participate in the family business. But, I did learn a few things on how to fight, from them. The¡­brute class, as it''s been nicknamed, has a bit of an unsavory reputation. Which is why I am annoyed that, had I just chosen to get training in a class, I wouldn¡¯t have that stigma.¡± "You just chose to wait till 18? Put yourself at the mercy of a random class?" Fiona now understood some of the things he''d said lately. It now put a lot of his words into a new light. "And you got picked by the gods to be a bruiser. That sucks." "Yes. It does." He rubbed at his wrist gently, before rolling his sleeve back up. "If I''d run away sooner...I could have...not ended up with such a stigma."Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road. ¡°You were young, you didn¡¯t know better,¡± Fiona said in a supportive way. He slowly swayed his head, a dark look crossing his eyes. ¡°Want a piece of advice, Fiona? If you ever have children someday, don¡¯t let them roll the dice on a destined class.¡± She narrowed her eyes at him. ¡°It¡¯s there for¨C¡± ¡°To be a fallback, I know. But the gods don¡¯t always have good intentions, when they occasionally stick their noses into mortal business. Which is why I regret my initial reaction to Kali, who has demonstrated himself to be quite competent.¡± he leaned back and finally gave Tucker a scratch on the head, and he started purring again. ¡°Hmm. Guess cats do know when someone is stressed out. Well played, Tucker.¡± Bonnie scooched closer to him on the couch. ¡°You know you can talk to us about these things. Especially if you start getting a bad feeling about stuff.¡± He nodded a second later. ¡°That is why we are having this discussion, now. I didn¡¯t start making friends, until after I left home. And, meeting you two¡­well, it has opened my eyes to what to expect from the world, in great contrast to the forced decisions my family would have made for me. Thank you.¡± ¡°Just one thing, Greg,¡± Fiona asked as she rose up, as did Bonnie, once Tucker scampered off. ¡°If they come after the shop, you can bet your cute butt that I won¡¯t let anyone do damage to it, or the people in it, while I¡¯ve got a say in the matter. Let¡¯s keep our ears to the ground on this one, and see if we can find out more. In the meantime, we should probably up the protections, and get more staff. I already know of a guy or two in the guild that might be interested.¡± "Not gonna smash heads with hammers?" She rolled her eyes at Greg''s casual response. "I could. And my gut instinct says, that''s the play. But we don''t have proof. And...I do have you guys to think about. I also can''t rule out Barry getting underhanded. Hammer time comes only for the proven wicked." I hate how I can''t solve all the problems with hammers and luscious looks. Ugh. Greg, however, looked relieved at the restraint on her part. "Then I shall do my part not to try to solve this in my own. I do agree with Bonnie, we could use extra hands on this one. And a security upgrade." ¡°I could certainly use someone in the shop with me, too. All the rune work I¡¯ve been doing has me tasked to capacity. I started turning down smaller jobs,¡± Bonnie said with a small tsk sound. ¡°Sounds like we¡¯ll be busy for the next few weeks. If we keep moving business like this, we won¡¯t have that blonde dweeb gunning for us, it might be the Lockheeds.¡± ¡°See, that¡¯s the thing. Usually, they ask for ¡®protection¡¯ money." Fiona cracked her knuckles. ¡°The way I see it, once we know who''s behind this, we should try some¡­aggressive negotiation.¡± Greg gave her that silent glance of disapproval. ¡°No, my hammer is not the negotiating tool, for the record.¡± ¡°Maybe we can offer employment to a certain, recently humiliated dragon, to protect our place?¡± Bonnie suggested with a wry smile. Both Fiona and Greg glared at her, and her confidence melted into an anxious smile. ¡°Too soon?¡± ¡°Too soon,¡± they uttered in unison.
The next day, Fiona was peering at the broken window with ire. But the expression didn¡¯t last, as the craftsman gently pried out the broken fragments, and was able to seal up the window with a new one in record time. Thank you guy, you¡¯re super quick,¡± she applauded them with a warm smile. The lean, middle-aged man bowed stiffly and rubbed at the glass with a cleaning cloth, before nodding satisfactorily. ¡°Your enchantress will need to reinforce the runes¨Cwhen you break them like that, it compromises the rest of the rune structure. You should have this all replaced with magicite glass, to be honest. I could run a quote for you. It¡¯ll stop vandals, and even will stop some magical munitions if¨C¡± ¡°We¡¯re not in a warzone,¡± she cut him off. ¡°Do you think you could get me a quote for that kind of upgrade?¡± ¡°Hmm. It¡¯s not cheap. The building is old, the frames don¡¯t follow a standard sizing¨Cexcept the ones in front, luckily. When you have custom frame sizes, we have to cut the glass to size. Custom jobs have a way of creeping up in cost, fast. Let me have a quick look around, I can get you a number.¡± Fiona was impressed--he wasn''t trying to BS her? Everyone on Earth was trying to hustle money, it felt like. ¡°Thank you for the expedient fix. What¡¯ll the cost be for the damages?¡± Bonnie asked, already in motion to reinforce her security runes on the glass in near-invisible filaments. The man scratched his head. ¡°Well, nothing. This is on the house. Jake told me they¡¯d pick up the tab on this. It¡¯s only the one pane, so it¡¯s not that expensive. Jake¡¯s a great guy, I love that giant furball, he¡¯s always getting business for me all over the city. I busted my knee adventuring, but I still can cut glass like it¡¯s art,¡± the man sighed. He tapped the heavy brace around one leg, a soft ringing of metal audible. It did little to deter his mobility, but his motion was a little stiff. He took a notepad out of his bag, and started jotting down numbers. ¡°Miss Swiftheart, how come you can¡¯t come back adventuring? The guys miss you, from what I hear from my buddies over there.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t. I gotta sell off this dragon hoard to pay taxes, because Barry is a problem I can''t beat with a hammer, and the official word from Rikkard, his father? I keep getting stonewalled by his assistant, but I know he''s alive because I heard him in the background. I think he knows I''m pissed at him." "Sheesh. Must have been a cold day in the hells for Rikkard to put him in the hot seat," the repairman grunted. "That is everyone''s sentiment," Fiona stated with a follow-through growl. "I wasn¡¯t going to earn that by making boots out of monsters." She gave an armor set a bit of polish with a clean cloth before the morning crowd came in, and Bonnie was already firing up her oven for some kind of toasty hot rune. ¡°Stupid dragon horde historical find. Know what I should have done? Offered Doug his treasure back, if he chased Barry off." "Haha! I''d have paid money to see that, Fiona! You''d have to change your title to the dragon layer, though!" Bonnie cackled from her workbench. "Dragon slayer! I made boots out of ugly, nasty, not cute monsters!" Fiona fumed. "I know where you live, you mischievous vixen." ¡°We could have had Queen Lucy, and then Barry gets put on the throne?¡± the crafter asked hesitantly, while still taking measurements of the windows, and putting a few more scribbles down. ¡°Hah. That kid couldn¡¯t run a lemonade stand, let alone a kingdom. I hear that blonde viper is twined around his finger¨Cor is it the other way around? I dunno, I see a hot ticket lady, and I think, man, he''s whipped!" ¡°Hennaway makes vipers sound like positive saints,¡± Bonnie responded with a glint of anger in her tone. Fiona was too busy cleaning the display¨Ceveryone wanted to touch the merchandise, it seemed. Luckily this was a cheap set, the real strong stuff was in display cases. But, Fiona did notice Bonnie lean in, with her ears doing that twitchy thing, along with her tail, and she had a glint of insight in her eyes. ¡°What else did you hear about Hennaway, out of curiosity?¡± ¡°Me? Nothing. It¡¯s my buddy, he did some service work in the castle, doing renovating. Barry¡¯s ringing up a tab right now like he got some windfall. I suppose with the dragon and his kobolds getting the fight knocked out of them, he can redirect money back to some much-needed maintenance work,¡± the man shrugged. ¡°Anyway, he says he heard from this maid that Hennaway is running around, barking out orders like she owns the place. Barry¡¯s whipped as all hell, heh.¡± ¡°Well, now. Sounds like a nefarious advisor,¡± Fiona commented with a smile. ¡°How much were these renovations, exactly, mister¡­¡± ¡°Murdock,¡± he answered with his casual posture, scribbling away at numbers. ¡°Well, I can¡¯t say for sure, but, given the size of the palace, custom windows, a stinking crawdad ton of stained glass windows he¡¯s gonna change out, for a picture so rosy it¡¯d make the virgin Celestine blush¡­Hmm. I¡¯d say, ¡®bout a thirty thousand gold, maybe, if my buddy is an honest worker, and he is. Really steady hands, almost as good as me,¡± he added with a chuckle. Bonnie looked her way, eyes filled with mischief. And not the kitsune kind, either. Fiona returned the look right back. ¡°And, where do we find this man? I do want a competitive bid. I have a business to run, but, surely, I want to hire the best.¡± Murdock laughed softly. ¡°Miss Revere, Miss Swiftheart, there¡¯s no man who I¡¯m second to. Though, there¡¯s a few that are close. You got the Murdock Diggins seal of approval on that. Heck, I¡¯ll give you his relay, you give him a call. Sometimes when I¡¯m too busy, I let him take some business off my hands.¡± ¡°Why yes, I would love to know just what effort a blushing bright stain glass mosaic would look like in my establishment,¡± Fiona added with a toothy smile. ¡°Oh, boy. Here we go again. I can feel it in my bones,¡± Greg sighed as he prepped the till for the day ¡°The Fiona chaos machine is winding up. Spoilers, I already filed the trademark on that." Vol. 1, Ch. 36: Expanding The Team Roster A few days later, during the week, Fiona tapped her finger at the kiosk. She was fighting the urge to fall asleep from a severe lack of coffee. She had been up too late at the public library, trying to research her mark, and to no avail. Even Bonnie still hadn¡¯t come up with anything. Luckily, nothing else related to Greg''s dysfunctional and criminal family had come up. She hoped that problem would come a''knocking anytime soon, but she knew that nothing was ever easy. A tap at the counter when her eyes dimmed startled her, and she snapped back to attention. ¡°Fiona¡¯s emporium, how can I help¨Coh, Hi Darla!¡± she called out when she saw that lovely she-devil grinning, a coffee in hand for the early afternoon. ¡°Are you here on business, or¡­personal pleasures?¡± ¡°Hah, a little bit of column A, a little bit of column B. Greg mentioned the store had some unwelcome visitors. I know how to whip guys into shape, if anyone ever finds them,¡± she added as she pulled an imaginary whip taut. Her expression softened, and she offered the drink to Fiona in a mug, still steaming warm. ¡°Here, it looks like you could use this. I missed you the past couple of days, have you been busy?¡± ¡°Yeah, work stuff. I''m annoyed that some dumdums are making me jumpy. And the scarecrow over there looks even more stiff than usual!¡± she called out to Greg, already attending to a customer. ¡°Snark and elven mischief outside the break room earns you a gold coin in the box, pay up,¡± he responded without even breaking composure. His customer was looking at a small device on the display. Fiona frowned, and threw a coin in the box from her purse. The nerve of this guy, trying to train her to be more professional! She was quite professional enough. Darla peered back and forth between the two of them, wearing that toothy grin of hers. ¡°Greg, I need to get you a stronger espresso! You¡¯re so stiff! I¡¯ll talk to a gal I know! Guaranteed to mellow you out for hours!¡± Darla called out to him, and he gave a gentle ¡®thumbs-up¡¯ while showing the small emergency healing item to a mother, looking to equip her son as an apprentice adventurer. Darla turned back to her, and leaned in on the counter. ¡°Anyway, I might have a proposal for ya, Fiona. And, before I ask¡­¡± her golden eyes dimmed. ¡°You¡¯re still a cutie, you know that?¡± ¡°Ah, I¡¯m fine, Darla. You¡¯re still a blast to hang out with. You might have to invite the boy toy along sometime,¡± she added with a flourish. ¡°I worry he might enjoy that too much,¡± Darla uttered with a light gnashing of her teeth. ¡°Alright, next question is strictly a business proposition, not personal.¡± ¡°Oh? Whatcha got, shark tooth?¡± she teased, and Darla smiled as she leaned into it. ¡°Well, you remember me mentioning I was looking to expand? I think the new girl is doing quite well, and I have a reliable supply guy. My costs are actually quite low, but I need more volume. The spot I¡¯m at is okay, but it¡¯s not a main-through. Your place, however, is quite popular. And you guys have room to spare, by my guess.¡± That little heart was fluttering like a hummingbird on her wrist¨Cand likely matching cadence with her own heartbeat. ¡°Oh, well, um¡­I¡¯d have to consult¨Cyou know what, heck with it. There¡¯s no way Bonnie and Greg would say no,¡± she said as she felt the blush spread on her face. Darla knew it, and gave her that sly smile. ¡°Oh, you¡¯re not the only person that can woo people with lavish looks and adoring charm,¡± Darla said, practically purring while slinking her head lower to the counter. ¡°True, but, you¡¯re a little bit more¡­prickly¡­than I am,¡± Fiona responded as Darla gently tapped a horn, and chuckled heartily. ¡°Haha. prickly on the outside, soft and melty on the inside, I always say. Alright, now that I¡¯ve bought your attention with coffee, here¡¯s what I¡¯m thinking,¡± she announced as Fiona made sure the kiosk was closed, and kept an eye out on the store. She took note that Kali was busy setting up a mounting for a crystalline lens¨Cthe precursor of their security system, but in a very subtle location that most people wouldn¡¯t notice. She didn¡¯t like the idea, but it was probably a necessity, given Kali¡¯s ease of access, and the prior weeks¡¯ kerfuffle. Darla waved a hand to an open space, just by the opening and across from Bonnie¡¯s little setup. ¡°I¡¯d place the kiosk right here, right by the entryway. People come in, they see the displays, and they see a warm, healthy greeting. A lot of places, lot of mom and pop stores in town? They do the same thing. Customers come in, they grab a cup of coffee and a breakfast, they hang out. It¡¯s a great addition to the space.¡± ¡°And, it builds upon our reputation as not just offering services for adventurers, but as a supplemental business. People can walk in, and have something to experience, even if they¡¯re not looking to lay¨CI mean slay some dragons.¡± She glared at Darla as more than a few pointy teeth emerged from her face. ¡°That was a misspeak.¡± ¡°Oh, so that¡¯s what happened to Douglas the Red? He was a bad dragon, and you had to beat him up, if you know what I mean?¡± she added with her tail swishing back and forth, almost energetically. Fiona stammered at that.The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. ¡°I will get my hammer, my favorite prickly coffee girl. It¡¯s right in the shop rules.¡± ¡°Haha, I¡¯d love to see ya try,¡± Darla challenged with a haughty laugh. Fiona folded her arms and tried to not look embarrassed. ¡°Alright, alright, back to real talk. So, you like the idea of the kiosk?¡± ¡°I like it. But, is it separate, in the way that Bonnie¡¯s stuff is still technically independent?¡± Darla snapped her fingers, and pointed at Fiona lightly. ¡°Glad you asked that! Alright, so, here¡¯s what I¡¯m thinking. It can go one of a couple of ways. First way: independent. People pay for their coffee, they mill around, maybe we set up a few tables. People who linger here longer, are more likely to buy stuff,¡± Darla said with a wave towards the row of items nearby. ¡°Think about it. The difference between a person who browses, and a person who buys, is just exposure time. By and large.¡± ¡°Oh, no need to pitch dear, I know exactly where you¡¯re going with this. I like it. But you had a second idea?¡± she asked, arms folded and arching forward toward Darla. ¡°Alright, option two: I offer the coffee for free, it might get more customers, and this place becomes a community hangout. I get a small cut of your guys'' revenues, which could put me ahead, but I eat the up front costs of coffee and baked goodies. And no, this doesn¡¯t mean a perpetual supply of snacks for elves named Fiona,¡± she added with a wag of her finger. Fiona frowned and weighed the options. ¡°You know if we do business, we can¡¯t, uh¡­¡± ¡°It means, I don¡¯t get a slice of Fiona to take home?¡± she teased. Fiona felt the heat rush to her cheeks again. ¡°Haha, yeah I get that. I¡¯m really good at keeping business and personal stuff split apart. I mean, you are quite a cutie. But my guy friend stepped up his game. I was surprised, actually,¡± she added as an aside. Fiona raised an eyebrow in response. ¡°I know, right?¡± ¡°Bah, lotta sharks in the ocean,¡± Fiona added as a quip, and Darla smiled evilly at that. ¡°We¡¯re still on for the harvest festival at the end of next week, Bonnie, myself and Greg will be there. Now, as for the kiosk¡­hmm¡­What are your estimated costs a week for supplies?¡± Darla put a finger to her lips, and she frowned. ¡°Hmm, probably something like, a hundred and fifty gold a week or so, total?¡± ¡°And how much do you make?¡± Fiona pressed as she did numbers, while that winged heart was fluttering and sending a tingling down her arm. She was doing mental math on this, on overhead, variability in market, and had a rough idea of¡­the worth of Darla? Wait. how do you put a value on that? Barista girl runs a really lean ship and does very well for herself! I¡¯d date her, and not just for free coffee, either! Man you are a weird power. It wasn¡¯t the fact that she did this in a split second, but that she felt so sure of the answer. Five-fifty gold? She must be savvy. Darla answered a second later. ¡°About¡­five-sixty gold,¡± she answered. . Which was remarkably close to the answer that Fiona had gotten through this strange, magical intuition. She blinked in surprise, and Darla smiled. ¡°I¡¯m good with my money, honey.¡± ¡°Alright. I¡¯ll make a proposal. A fixed amount to cover costs, and a percent cut. Given the size of the place¡­three percent? We¡¯ll cover the overhead costs,¡± Fiona proposed. Bonnie leaned in from her booth, eyes lit up with amazement. ¡°Are we getting shark girl here? Oooh, and free, unfettered access to coffee?!¡± she asked, and she was almost bouncing on the pads of her feet, tail swishing excitedly. ¡°Yes, yes, please say yes!¡± ¡°Three percent? Hmph¡­doing the math here¡­that could be quite generous,¡± Darla mused with a grin. "What do you think, Bon-bon? Is she taking me for a ride, or are we about to make this place a scene and a half?¡± ¡°It is, but with the way business has been going, I think it¡¯s swingable. Greg would have to do the math,¡± Bonnie replied, looking very confident as she extracted a baked rune from the oven, the arcane script glowing brightly. ¡°Fi, this is too good an idea, isn¡¯t this like that place you ran before?¡± ¡°Kinda? Though, bigger, and with magical fox girls and prickly shark girls,¡± Fiona added with a grin from ear to pointy ear. She thrust out her hand to Darla, who gave her a firm handshake. ¡°Well Darla, when can you set up shop?¡± ¡°About a week? I¡¯d have to do a little construction job here. I¡¯ll take care of that part, I¡¯ve got some money saved for the expansion project, anyway.¡± ¡°Whee! Coffee girl has joined the roster! The emporium of friends expands!¡± Bonnie exclaimed as she bounded up to Darla and gave her a hug¨Cand had to reach up a bit, because Darla was so tall. Greg had just finished with his customer, with the young man and his mother skipping out the store, looking excited, and also walked over. ¡°I had a feeling this might be coming, Darla. Welcome to the team,¡± He congratulated as he put out a hand to shake hers¨Cthen got pulled into the bear hug, and made a slight squeaky sound. Fiona joined in, and she heard him wheeze¨Cthis boy needed to be a bit more durable for hugs! Darla and Fiona did relinquish and he adjusted his tie afterward. ¡°Well, looks like we¡¯ll have some more work ahead of us.¡± ¡°Indeed,¡± Darla said with a smile, and glanced at the door, with a raised eyebrow. ¡°Looks like someone came here prepared for a battle of wits.¡± Fiona turned and saw the otterkin Mister Levy walking in the door, with a tall, composed man wearing a hat with a feather sticking through the brim, and their long black hair was just visible. Levy looked confident, as did his counterpart. ¡°Miss Swiftheart, I have returned! And I do believe, I am winning this small wager of ours!¡± ¡°Well, business calls. I¡¯ll catch up with you guys in a bit.¡± She straightened her tie and walked on over to give them a firm handshake. Vol. 1, Ch. 37: Treasures of the Heart The second man smiled faintly. ¡°Greetings, Miss Swiftheart, I¡¯m Eugene Gale. I don¡¯t believe we¡¯ve met before, have we? Ah, I did appraise a number of your items, I think. Most of it was when the Adventurer''s Guild forwarded items to me, while you were busy in the field,¡± the man answered calmly. ¡°I was told there was a disagreement over an item¡¯s origin. I don¡¯t have any vested interest in this, other than to understand the historical origins of this item. The early logging might have been deposed by one of my assistants.¡± ¡°Yes, we were disagreeing on the age of it,¡± Levy explained. He walked over to the gleaming tiara, and he pointed to it. ¡°I think it''s the fifth kingdom, she says it''s the third kingdom. So, where do we stand?¡± ¡°I will need to examine it. May I?¡± Eugene asked politely. Fiona pulled out a key and opened the glass display case, and pulled out the tiara, which had errant beams of light still emanating from it, and snaking through the air like a sparkler from the Fourth of July. but they at best, felt like tiny little rays of sunlight on her skin. He took the item in one hand, and pulled out a jeweler''s lens, and put it up to his eye. But the small lens looked like it had facets and little green lines traced across it, and a small grid of lines scanned across the device. ¡°That¡¯s not gonna¨C¡± ¡°It¡¯s just an informational scan. This will let me know the material composition of the base metal, without damaging it.¡± He waited as the scan completed, and then the lights winked out of existence from his arcane lens. He frowned, and pulled back the forehead padding just a little bit, to examine the mark. ¡°Okay. I recognize this symbol. House Demir smithing? Oh, that¡¯s quite in alignment with the third Kingdom. Great skill, but bad access to quality materials, the mithril is indeed of lower quality, consistent for the era. This explains the erratic nature of the enchantment.¡± ¡°Okay¡­¡± Levy clicked his fingers together anxiously. ¡°What else?¡± ¡°Well¡­hmm¡­¡± Eugene trailed off, and examined the smith mark a little closer, and then the jewels. ¡°This is interesting. The smith mark appears from the third kingdom, but they added a few flourishes in the fifth that you do not see here. But the gems themselves¡­these would have been rare, even unheard of in the third Timerian kingdom.¡± ¡°Eugene¡­is it possible this is from the fourth Timerian Kingdom? I¡¯ve seen one example of this before.¡± Eugene looked at both of them, and frowned. ¡°This one is quite tricky. This is actually a rare piece from neither Kingdom, and represents a transition from the third, to the fourth Kingdom. Due to the upheaval at the time against the Timerian lords, very few items have been cataloged from that period as the castle, the treasury, and some of the nobility were ransacked. The treasures and artistic endeavors of the period were scattered about the surrounding Kingdom. Some items were found even across the Aegortin Sea. It¡¯s an exceptional find! You both were partially correct, and very few experts would even find a sample to compare to!¡± Levy was standing there, speechless¨Cas did Fiona, who was surprised by this outcome. ¡°Well, I¡¯ll be real with you Levy, I didn¡¯t plan for this scenario. Out of curiosity Eugene, how much would an item like this go for?¡± ¡°How much were you charging?¡± ¡°Six thousand? Guessing it¡¯s worth more?¡± She knew this could be big money. ¡°The rarity of this item cannot be understated. This dragon knew a rare find when he saw one! At auction to a collector or to a museum¡­Five times that much. Easily.¡± Fiona¡¯s jaw dropped open. She¡¯d been sitting on a gold mine even beyond her expectations. Levy was still there, stumping¨C and even getting watery-eyed. That flutter on her heart was giving her a signal again. What was it trying to tell her, though? She tried to gauge his reaction. He wasn¡¯t sad¡­was it¡­melancholy? No. It was something else. Like saying hello to an old friend, or a family member that had been gone a long time. The answer to her came in the feeling of emptiness. An unfulfilled dream? Some personal connection to the item? A lifetime¡¯s find for him? The possibilities seemed narrow as he sniffed, and pulled out a pocket kerchief to dab his eyes. ¡°Levy, you know this item, don¡¯t you?¡± she concluded. ¡°I do,¡± he said with a sigh. ¡°I have hexagram images of this item that belonged to my great-grandmother, Beatrice Regala. When I heard the dragon had been deposed and all his hoard had been taken into possession of the guild¡­I hoped there might be a chance it had been recovered. She passed away a while ago, and I was hoping to return it to the family. I don¡¯t think I could provide sufficient proof to establish that it is ours, but¨CI wouldn¡¯t be auctioning it, if that¡¯s what you¡¯re concerned about.¡± ¡°Show me.¡± She shoved aside her reservations, and he pulled out a small emitter, a glass square no more than five centimeters on a side. A small family of riverkin was projected by a small beam of arcane lights, emerging from the corners¨CA matriarch, her husband, standing a little shorter, and two children, a boy, and a girl. They all stood regally, and were dressed in clothing reminiscent of old-world nobility.The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation. And the tiara was on the mother¡¯s head, with the same gemstone arrangement, and the same shape cut as the Tiara. Eugene frowned, and pointed to the children. ¡°I haven¡¯t seen this. Mister Levy, why didn¡¯t you show me this before? This is indeed the Regala family, from the transition period. I recognize the husband, they were forced to flee during the rebellion, and¡­had to leave everything behind in a hurry. The boy, would have been¨C¡± ¡°My grandfather.¡± Levy slumped. ¡°He told me stories of how they left. How they had to take new names. They lost everything. And he spoke of his mother¡¯s tiara, a radiant light in those dark times, and they¡­used it as bartering to get out alive.¡± He pointed to the figures. ¡°Beatrice Regala. Trask Regala, my great-grandfather. Shona and Levy Regala, the first. I¡¯m Levy, the third. Royalty is where my family came from¡­ but things have changed.¡± He seemed to shrink slightly at that statement, glassy eyes gazing at the image with remembrance. ¡°Eugene? Can you conclusively say that this is the same tiara?¡± Fiona asked quietly. This nagged at her. Treasure always used to be just glittery prizes for working through dangerous traps, left behind by people too rich to store it all away properly. Or something that nasty monsters hoarded because of the value, or the magic in the items. Now, it was someone¡¯s stolen property, a possible family heirloom, long lost, with a chance of being reunited. She¡¯d been cautioned this was possible in the guild, and if there was convincing proof, legally, it had to be handed over. She turned to Eugene, and spoke softly. ¡°Eugene?¡± The historian frowned. ¡°It¡¯s possible. I¡¯d need to see more proof, but¨C¡± She glanced at the urgent flapping on her wrist that no one else seemed to notice. Tell me I¡¯m not about to do this. Tell me I¡¯m not just about to give up a fortune. A single flap from that winged heart, was the most telling statement about the feelings in her own heart. Fiona judged the mood in the room, and went with her gut instinct, and spoke softly. ¡°How about we split it down to something reasonable, Levy? I still gotta pay a song to our illustrious leader for a bogus tax. Twenty-five hundred gold is the best I can do. Otherwise, I¡¯m eating a loss on the sale.¡± Levy finally smiled faintly, in a way that didn¡¯t look like a deranged beaver, and he wiped his eyes. ¡°It¡¯ll be tough, but¡­I can do that. Thank you, Eugene, for confirming this one. I thought it might be the case for this one, but¡­I wasn¡¯t a hundred percent sure, either.¡± ¡°Glad I could help. You know, we could use this in the collection of Timerian artifacts, we could put it on display and give it the level of recognition it deserves.¡± Levy sniffed, and nodded. ¡°I¡¯d have to consider it. But, I did want to show this to my daughter, to point out our family history. Thank you, Miss Swiftheart, let¡¯s finish the paperwork on this one, shall we?¡± he asked as he offered a hand, and shook hers firmly. That empty feeling she kept getting, faded. She didn¡¯t know what it meant, but it felt like more than just a transaction of gold went down, as she sat down with Greg and Levy to finish out the form work. For once, she was glad she¡¯d been wrong about her initial assessment Later, after Levy and Eugene had departed, she couldn¡¯t help but feel a strange sense about the whole thing. Even Greg picked up on it. ¡°There could be more possibilities for reclamation of items possessed by Douglas the Red, you know. Salvage disputes happen a lot, and they¡¯re a lot of unwieldy paperwork.¡± ¡°You think he was lying? Trying to get a good deal on priceless artifacts, and playing to my emotional side?¡± she asked with a drip of hesitation in her tone. He spent more than a handful of seconds tapping the counter beside her, looking at the scenic view just outside the main entrance, with golden sunshine reflecting off the lake. He gently shook his head, biting his lip gently. ¡°No. Actually, I think that item did have sentimental value, and a family connection. There¡¯s enough proof of it, for my case, at least. Was it a good business decision? I don¡¯t know. Theoretically, we could have just had it written off if we submitted an amendment to the tax office. Though, knowing them, they''d dispute it for months." Greg folded his hands as he leaned against the counter, glancing at her with a moment of ponderance. "Second-guessing yourself, on whether it was the right thing to do, instead of auctioning?" ¡°It felt like the right thing,¡± she stated with determination. ¡°Imagine someone stole or acquired something very personal to you. Later, you find people putting your precious mementos on sale in a thrift store. There was a lot of that, in a few big wars back on Earth. Whole families were wiped out, and then their surviving kin spent their whole lives, trying to pick up the pieces, finding those precious items. They had to jump through insurmountable hoops to get them back. All from a bunch of cruel people who took everything from their victims.¡± ¡°Did this happen to you?¡± She shook her head. ¡°No. But, something doesn¡¯t have to happen to you, for you to empathize with someone.¡± She scratched at her wrist, which had been tingling for a minute, but now it felt like shooting electrical pain. ¡°Ow, what is going¨C¡± It took a moment to register, when she saw her heart flapping animatedly, like it did on occasion. But, there was something different that caused her eyes to go wide. ¡°Hey, uh, Greg. Newbie here on the class thing. Can the mark change?¡± ¡°It can, if you acquire a different class from testing with Administrators. People don¡¯t lose them, so much as acquire more of them with the right training, or they morph into a more specialized version. Why?¡± She rolled up her sleeve and willed it into being for him to see, and he peered closely. ¡°I don¡¯t see¡­¡± He narrowed his eyes. ¡°I¡¯ve never seen it animated like that before. That is quite interesting¡­¡± He finally saw what she had been staring at, and he gasped. ¡°Is it¡­wearing a replica of that tiara we just sold?!¡± She barely could manage a response, other than a distant ¡°Yep.¡± Her winged heart was, indeed, wearing a sparkling, shiny crown at the valley where the curve of the heart was, and it was flapping energetically with its wings. Its behavior almost seemed almost¡­aloof. ¡°Greg, what does this mean?¡± ¡°I have no idea.¡± Vol. 1, Ch. 38: Heart On Your Sleeve ¡°Fiona, why didn¡¯t you say that your mark was changing?¡± Greg was doing that scowl again, and it irritated her. She smoothed her hair behind her ears, while Bonnie looked at her symbol in the arcanist room in the back after they had closed up shop for the day, where she kept her supplies for rune work and enchantments. She took a measured breath before responding. ¡°This is the first time I¡¯ve seen it change. I mean sure, Wingding here has flapped its wings a couple of times, and none of the books mentioned that. I just thought, you know, it must be just uncommon. Is that normal¨C¡± ¡°No,¡± Greg, Bonnie, and Darla all uttered in unison. Bonnie in the meantime, was examining the mark on her arm, and the mark did not enjoy being prodded. Fiona scowled at all of them in response, and her skin felt tickled by Bonnie''s fur. ¡°So, Bon-bon, on a scale of one to weird, where are we at?¡± Fiona finally asked. ¡°Also, I think this goes without saying, not a word to anyone whose name rhymes with Mary. Got it?¡± ¡°Yes, Fiona, I would very much not like to give that creep any more ammo to throw at you,¡± Bonnie growled. Fiona tried not to snerk at this, but Bonnie¡¯s growls were about as far from intimidating as one could get. She peered through a device that looked like a magnifying glass, with a dark wooden frame and crystalline lens. Little arcane runes dotted the frame, and she tapped her wrist, where her mark was fluttering its wings, and the crown on top of her jeweled heart shone. ¡°Well Fiona, I think this confirms it. On a scale of one, to weird? You capped out on weird,¡± she added with a wicked grin. ¡°Yeah, you try coming through an isekai event with your sanity in one piece. And I was already weird to begin with,¡± she responded with a chuckle. ¡°So, question. Why do all the summons have a class automatically? Who gives the classes out? Isn¡¯t that the administrator''s job? And why¡¯s mine weird?¡± ¡°Okay, reality check time. Fiona, most marks¨Cand by that, I mean, all of them, are static. They don¡¯t flap! They also don¡¯t acquire extra markings like that, there¡¯s just no precedent!¡± Bonnie stuck to facts, and pointed to the mark. "I''ve never seen this before." ¡°Well, my Wingding is special!¡± Fiona called out testily. Bonnie gazed at her, and then laughed. ¡°Wait, you just gave a name to your mark? Seriously? That name feels a little too on the muzzle,¡± she stated between gasping laughs, and wiped a tear from her eye, while trying to focus with the magnifier. ¡°Yeah! She¡¯s my Wingding! Maybe our marks are living things, and you guys aren¡¯t big-hearted enough to give yours names!¡± Fiona stated smugly, like she was the first to come up with this idea. She probably wasn¡¯t, but, maybe in this crowd, she was. ¡°She has feelings! She can answer yes or no questions with a flap of her wings, when I think thoughts!¡± ¡°Uh¡­this is based on what evidence?¡± Greg asked, all the while jotting notes on his arcanist pad. ¡°Fiona, forgive me for sounding skeptical, but I think you¡¯re trying to see patterns where there are none.¡± ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll prove it. I worked out a system, one flap for yes, two for no.¡± ¡°Right. And you intend to prove this, how?¡± Greg was still being obtuse, and that had to stop. ¡°I intend to prove it! Wingding, is Greg an utter square?¡± Fiona asked with a playful smile. Wingding stopped hovering, and gave a single flap with her wings, before hovering with light figure eight motions of her wings. Greg narrowed his eyes at the mark. ¡°I¡¯m not a square¨Cwait, what am I saying? Marks aren¡¯t alive!¡± He tossed the arcanist pad on the table, the well-scribed writing visible in the bright light of the desk lamp that hummed with magical energy. ¡°Ask it again. That could have been a coincidence.¡± ¡°Can I ask a question?¡± Darla chimed in, peering at Fiona and her mark with keen interest. ¡°Wingding¨Cmay I call you that?¡± One flap. Fiona smirked and stuck out her tongue at Greg, who adjusted his glasses, acting unbothered by this affirmation. Darla leaned in and whispered to Wingding. ¡°Does Fiona have the hots for someone in this room?¡± she asked in a husky tone. Fiona turned red in the face when Wingding betrayed her and gave a single flap, and she pointed accusingly at her mark. ¡°Hey, hey, personal stuff, girl! We need to teach you some social rules, first!¡± Two flaps later, she growled. ¡°Oh, oh that won¡¯t stand, Wingding. The social rulebook is getting pulled out!¡± ¡°Oh no, I like this heart on your sleeve spiel,¡± Darla quipped with a grin, her tail slinking left and right like an amused cat. Wingding flapped enthusiastically at this. Darla did put a hand to a horn, rubbing it gently. ¡°I do find this strange. Greg, do you notice something unusual about this?¡± Greg¡¯s eyes widened at this spectacle as this banter had been unfolding, and he sighed while rubbing the bridge of his nose. ¡°No, Darla, this is not normal, on any parameter whatsoever. Marks aren¡¯t alive. This must be just some odd quirk or manifestation of Fiona¡¯s class. Though ¡®Merchant¡¯ is hardly a spectacle-inducing class.¡± ¡°Merchant of Fortune, actually.¡± Bonnie peered through the glass, and tapped the crown gently¨Cher claw tip tickled Fiona¡¯s wrist, and she giggled. ¡°Stand still, please. The thing I know about marks is that they also have some subtle implications for the powers you manifest. For me, my power comes from enchantment work. I can embroider runes, bake them into metals, and I can do cool hat tricks. Not that I¡¯ve shown off much,¡± she added with a quick adjustment of her hat over her cute ears, which had their own cutouts. ¡°We are still glossing over the fact that we have a living mark. I¡¯m still convinced it¡¯s a quirk of her abilities. Which includes being able to fling gold at insane speeds and has zero encumbrance for her, which is exceedingly odd by itself,¡± Greg mused, and stroked his chin gently. ¡°But, that crown¡­it showed up, after the transaction. Why?¡± ¡°Oh, oh! I have it!¡± Darla called out, practically jumping up for joy. ¡°She reunited a treasure with its rightful owner! It¡¯s the fortune of hearts!¡± ¡°I called it the wealth of hearts, but, eh, close enough!¡± Fiona declared cheerily. ¡°So Bonnie, why do marks just show up?¡± "Did you pay any attention to your lessons?¡± Greg sighed. ¡°The transmigrated elf has been instructed, but she does not recall!¡± she uttered with a frustrated sigh. ¡°Alright, walk me through the parts I get stuck on. This world? Everyone gets a mark, or a class, by eighteen. Some kind of ancient bargain with the gods, so all the peoples of the world didn¡¯t become snacks for giant monsters. Or, something like that. Greg, I read a lot, but this thing reads like stereo instructions.¡±If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. ¡°Alright, more or less.¡± Bonnie nested in another lens on top of the magnifier and peered closer at the tiara on Wingding¡¯s¡­head. It didn¡¯t really have a head, but Fiona figured that was where it should be. ¡°This world was¡­primal, at one point. It was not a nice place to live, and life was very hard. The first survivors to fight back against some ancient monster race were given an edge by the living gods, who didn¡¯t want to see their creations destroyed. Hence, the marks, and the classes everyone gains.¡± ¡°So, eldritch dinosaurs?¡± Fiona proposed. Greg gave her a blank stare. ¡°Tentacles, monstrous, panic-inducing auras, scaly skin, big and scary?¡± ¡°I believe it was some kind of alien, monstrous race. But, yes. The primal tribes united and fought back against them, nearly seven thousand years ago, is what most scholars agree upon, with the power of the marks. A gift the gods let us keep, even after the threat to our existence was over. The administrators are those left with a sacred duty that all those who apply for their callings in life, get them¨Cwithin reason. Some people just aren¡¯t cut out for certain occupations or duties.¡± ¡°Yeah, a little unsettling that people have rolled the dice,¡± Fiona commented. ¡°Greg you''re an enforcer, which has a negative connotation to it. Like a brute who works for a magical mafia family. Why didn¡¯t you just, you know, train in something¨C¡± ¡°Because I didn''t want to take the classes my parents tried to train me in¨Cspecifically, my father. I would have ended up far worse, and I was in no position to defy him, at the time. That changed¡­after I got my mark. However, it came with some strings attached. It enhances my martial prowess¨Cand seems to be an interesting utility class that also is powered by my writings and notes.¡± Greg glanced down at his sleeve, rubbing at it gently. ¡°Very few people even ask about them. It''s been generally agreed upon within the Unified Kingdoms. It¡¯s a very personal thing, as you¡¯ve picked up.¡± ¡°Okay, that¡¯s cool. But what if you end up with a first class like ¡®assassin¡¯, or maybe ¡®courtesan¡¯ out of curiosity? You know, something that has bad vibes written all over it? That would not be cool.¡± ¡°Greg, not that I like to agree with Fiona on this one¡­but, she has a point, and especially, in your case,¡± Bonnie reminded him. ¡°Thank you, Bonnie, but I don¡¯t feel like revisiting this. I made my choice, even if that choice was to simply wait till I got a random mark, and it is not the end of the world. This is why people can pick up additional classes.¡± ¡°So, the living gods that I¡¯ve heard about, they empower the Contracts?¡± Fiona queried, having decided to let poor Greg have a break. He was pretty sensitive about this one¨Cpossibly as a matter of shame. Greg nodded at this reprieve and pulled open his datapad. ¡°Yes. The weave of the world is filled with magic, unlike your description of Earth. The contracts are that weave made manifest, to empower individuals with training and abilities of their choosing. Though, as you¡¯ve noted, no two people are alike. Two soldiers may have radically different abilities that serve similar purposes. Anyway, I digress. Your powers are nothing like anything I¡¯ve seen. And I believe it is actually very important we find out why.¡± ¡°Why¡¯s Wingding wearing the tiara? Here, Bonnie, I have an idea.¡± Bonnie retracted her hand, and Fiona rubbed at Wingding¨Cwho took a liking to her stroking the wings gently with her finger, and seemed to be less animated. ¡°Greg, remind me, since I was busy. What did that tiara do?¡± Bonnie asked. ¡°I know that it was a family heirloom, but¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯m not entirely sure. The artifact was marked as having the ability to become a sunbeam and teleport to anywhere you could project the ray to in a straight line¡­but¡­¡± ¡°Wingding, I need to see your little tiara, it looks so cute on you!¡± Fiona cooed, and Greg rolled his eyes at this, while her finger tapped the little metal crown on her skin. ¡°It¡¯s not alive, Fiona, it¡¯s a strange quirk of magic¨C¡± Fiona had felt a small ringing chime coming off her gold bracelet that still felt lighter than air, and when her finger touched the tattooed tiara, the gold flared a brilliant gold color¨Cand instantly blinded her, and everyone in the room, in a flash of light. She shouted out in panic, unable to see for a couple of seconds, and she heard the others cursing. ¡°Oh, what the hell, Fi!¡± Bonnie groaned. Fiona noticed that her vision came back quickly, though that brightness was a bit of an adjustment to the now darker room. ¡°Been down there, it¡¯s not so bad.¡± ¡°Wasn¡¯t talking about you, you demonic cactus!¡± Bonnie growled cutely. Fiona¡¯s vision finally wasn¡¯t a blur of light, and everyone was wincing and rubbing at their eyes, including Bonnie. She dared to take a look at Fiona¡¯s wrist. ¡°Well, that was interesting. Did anyone else see what happened?¡± ¡°I did. Her gold bangle flared brilliantly bright. It was very hard to not notice,¡± Greg groused, still shaking off the temporary blindness, and he blinked several times. ¡°I do believe the tiara has a slightly different power than advertised. A power, now transfused to Fiona.¡± ¡°How, though? Is it tied to the merchant class?¡± she pondered, and Wingding was shaking lightly, almost as if she was disoriented, too. An idea came up, the way Bonnie had said it, caught her attention. ¡°Uh, I¡¯m gonna try something again. Everyone, please, close your eyes and face away?¡± ¡°Fi, are you doing arcanist experiments? The world should shudder in your wake, and you were already a menace with that absurdly oversized hammer,¡± Bonnie groaned. ¡°Nonsense, it¡¯s as light as a feather! Now, let¡¯s try this.¡± She squinted as much as she dared, and tapped the tiara sitting on Wingding, and the bangle glowed with golden light. But the intensity was much diminished. She repeated the motion, and to the same result. She frowned and took her hand away. ¡°Wingding, hasn¡¯t anyone told you not to accept bizarre powers from strangers?¡± Two flaps later, Fiona sighed. ¡°Welp, I guess I walked into that one. But, can I do that without gold on?¡± She tossed the bangle onto the table where it rang with resounding ringing note, before falling flat and motionless. She tapped the tiara another time, but nothing happened. She frowned, and tried again, to the same result. ¡°Well, I¡¯m not a scientist, but, I think I need gold on my persona to make use of this one.¡± ¡°If I may? Try thinking of activating it, rather than tapping on Wingding. See if you can feel the flow of magic,¡± Greg suggested, eyes focused on the bangle. Fiona quickly put it back on, and felt a tingle of energy, and squinted her eyes. Greg cautiously shielded himself, looking through a narrow gap in his fingers. Okay, Wingding. Give the world a dose of razzle and dazzle! Wingding shrugged her wings lightly, as if unsure. Uh¡­do the thing, where we made the world shine bright! The reaction was instant, as the tiara shone with light, and then the golden bangle followed suit¨Cthough, when Fiona squinted, she could feel that brief pull of energy from her body, like the last few times. But she could control it, and the bangle dimmed. She could feel that flow, the same way when she¡¯d been instructed on using magical items. But this was no magical item. This was the living mark on her skin, carrying the same power. She cut the flow with a mental flicker, and the bangle dimmed¨Cbut didn¡¯t stop glowing. Slowly, she willed her body, felt the tension in her arm relax, and the light intensity resumed. ¡°Guys. Wingding acquired the power of the tiara.¡± ¡°Wingding isn¡¯t alive¨C¡± ¡°Oh get over it Greg, prove to me she¡¯s not,¡± she grumbled. Bonnie was practically jumping for joy, and Darla was wearing a smug look. ¡°How fitting, our radiant ray of sunshine elf gets a superpower, to only accentuate that more. May I suggest some obsidian lenses, so you don¡¯t accidentally burn your eyes out?¡± Darla proposed, hands on her hips and looking proud. ¡°More gold superpowers? Seriously, this one needs a name! I call it razzle and dazzle!¡± Fiona declared proudly, and Bonnie cackled while Greg sighed. ¡°The more we try to stay low-key, the more you warp reality to unmake that wish,¡± he stated, while folding his arms tightly. ¡°I still have one lingering question: why? I¡¯ve never heard of this kind of magic before, certainly not this pronounced. Or a mark that seems to have¡­personality.¡± ¡°You love it. You love mysteries, Greg,¡± Fiona grinned, before pondering this newfound discovery. ¡°So, what do I do with it?¡± Bonnie took an image of Wingding with her sketches, and furrowed her brow. ¡°For now? Probably nothing. However, if you have the urge to blind everyone around you, by all means, make sure we¡¯re not around. Aaand, we need to talk to this Clarke dude and make sure he isn¡¯t reporting to Barry. I worry about what our greedy blonde dragon is plotting in the background-- A ping on her arcane relay got Fiona''s attention, and she peered down at the display and frowned. "Speak of the dragon." "What, is Douglas the Red calling you for an apology?" Bonnie laughed, but the grimace on Fiona''s face stopped her jest short. "Oh, it''s bad, isn''t it?" "Greybeard Senior is calling me. I may blow up on him on this call." Vol. 1. Ch. 39: He Really Does Have A Grey Beard Fiona glanced around the room, at her gathered friends. ¡°You guys might want to make scarce, while I¨C¡± ¡°Oh no, I am so done with all the royal intrigue crap going on,¡± Bonnie growled, all the while the arcane relay in Fiona''s hand continued to ring. ¡°I want to give him a piece of my mind!¡± ¡°He¡¯s a king, Bon-bon,¡± Greg tried in a modicum of de-escalation. ¡°You do not want to get on his bad side on this one, regardless of whether the fault of this latest¡­situation¡­may be squarely on his shoulders.¡± ¡°Oh no, I¡¯m gonna take a bite out of him, too,¡± Darla growled. It was perhaps the most dangerous thing Fiona had heard from her, and matched more with her prickly exterior. ¡°We¡¯ve got your back, Fiona. We¡¯re all in this, now.¡± ¡°Well, try to be polite, then?¡± Greg proposed. She clicked the accept diode, and the device came to life, with beams of light projecting an image of a tall, powerful, and grey-bearded figure, standing in a rather informal long-sleeved dress shirt, tunic, and leggings. And sandals that she was quite envious of when Rikkard Greybeard¡¯s image fully materialized. Rikkard gazed at her with cheery green eyes and smiled. ¡°Greetings, Miss Swiftheart¨C¡± ¡°You¡¯ve avoided my calls for over two weeks!¡± She roared as her composure and her mood instantly snapped. Greg went pale and wide-eyed, Bonnie sighed, and Darla made a little fist pump in the background. ¡°Rikkard, we¡¯re friends, but you don¡¯t ghost your friends for that long, especially when they call a situation ¡®dire¡¯ or ¡®life-threatening or ¡®your youngest son is an utter dick!¡¯¡± ¡°So much for ¡®polite,¡¯¡± Darla commented, rubbing one horn anxiously. Arcane relays weren¡¯t supposed to project any force, per se, but Fiona¡¯s wrath was a force to behold as Rikkard grimaced and faltered in his answer. ¡°Um, well, ah¨C¡± ¡°Oh, I haven¡¯t even gotten started! Your son stiffed the guild¨Cthe entire guild¨Cafter we curb stomped Douglas the not-so-magnificent, and kept this kingdom burning-free! And then, he had the cojones to show up at our little celebratory bash! I probably saved your son from a bloodbath by him keeping to his lofty perch away from the crowd. So, you know, you¡¯re welcome!¡± She was gnashing teeth and pointy-eared elven fury¨Cand her ears were telling a mood that Rikkard would not be spared from. ¡°Fiona, please¨C¡± ¡°Don¡¯t please me, Rikkard! I¡¯d happily save the kingdom I call home, but your son betrayed the trust of everyone who fights for it¨Cand Gregory, and Darla, and Bonnie, and me! He pulled a dirty on every single one of us. Do you know what he did?!¡± she screamed. He stood there, silent, clenching his jaw, and his gaze lowered to the floor. Her fingers clenched tightly, and she could feel her nails digging into her palms. ¡°You can¡¯t say it aloud, can you? He used his mark, Rikkard. ¡®Pay up, or die¡¯ were the two options he gave me. He set me up to either be his patsy, or take an early ride into the grave. Or, door number three, me beating the odds and paying off this levy. This wouldn¡¯t have been a problem if Doug had any coin in his collection. It was literally the only thing missing in his entire hoard!¡± ¡°Okay. I get that you¡¯re upset. Now, I can understand a good venting, Fiona. Have you got that out of your system? Do you need me to get someone to talk to you?¡± Rikkard asked after he immediately regained his composure. She glared at him for a good full five seconds. ¡°You don¡¯t give a crap, do you? I thought we were friends, but this is cold, Rikkard. You just blew me off after I told you son put a death curse on my head! You¡¯re lucky Greg was in the room, or I¡¯d have bounced his head all over the palace! Oh, let me guess, no one had the balls to tell you¡ª" ¡°What he did, was in alignment with the powers vested to the crown, Fiona. But he gave you an out. Six months of your time. That¡¯s all he asked.¡± The words from Rikkard felt forced, the way his jaw was clenched tight¡ªlike a steel vise. Her arms went limp¡ªthis was a betrayal of the highest order. ¡°Unbelievable. You are unbelievable. You¡¯re defending that sack of shit, acting like this is my fault for telling him to piss off after an unjust tax got levied on me.¡± She was half tempted to smash her arcane relay into pieces right now. ¡°Tell me why I can ever trust you again, Rikkard. Because I don¡¯t think I can.¡± ¡°Because he¡¯s doing what¡¯s right for the kingdom,¡± Rikkard stated with little emotion. ¡°He¡¯s focused on its future.¡± ¡°What about mine?! Was I just an inconvenience after we smashed Douglas to pieces?!¡± That fury that had long been simmering found an outlet, and cute smiles and charm couldn¡¯t hold back the rage she¡¯d been bottling up for a while. It felt like an electric crackle through her body. ¡°He could have done a thousand other things if you guys were tight on cash. But no, he did the dumbest thing imaginable to coerce me to comply, like he expected me to roll over¡ª" He put out a hand of restraint, and she saw that he was fighting back tears. ¡°Fiona, let me be clear. He has burned his bridge entirely with me, for what he¡¯s done. I want you to know that, and know that I made a mistake, putting him in charge¡ªif temporarily. I thought I had a good read on him¡­and I didn¡¯t.¡± It was just enough to keep her from boiling over. But her teeth were still gritted, and she gave him the elven glare of doom. ¡°A mistake doesn¡¯t involve your son abusing his mark like that. Must have learned that from someone.¡± If he knew, he chose to change the subject, instead. ¡°I also understand through reliable sources that you¡¯re making headway and may fulfill your end of upholding the decree he issued. Look, Fiona, if I had that money to spare, I¡¯d do it myself. But I can¡¯t make that kind of money magically appear. The coin has to be earned, not freely given.¡± ¡°How does his mark work?¡± It was the first time she¡¯d heard something that wasn¡¯t bullshit from him tonight. ¡°He uses the authority of the mark to make someone fulfill a condition. He can never use that power again on anyone else for the rest of their lives,¡± he explained. ¡°It¡¯s a¡­oh what did my mage call it, a soul bind. It¡¯s something you see in some of the more sinister classes.¡± ¡°Still sounds pretty crappy, putting a curse over someone¡¯s head. What happens if I fulfill the condition?¡± He didn¡¯t answer. ¡°Rikkard, you better not clam up now, if you don¡¯t want me to hang up forever. What happens when I pay off this tax levy?¡± ¡°It will¡­end badly for him. Unless of course, another agreement is made, freely given and freely accepted, between you and him. It will negate the previous condition.¡± The way he said, was rather ominous. ¡°Oh shit.¡± Greg was the first to say it, and it had to be the most pronounced reaction she¡¯d ever heard from him. ¡°If she pulls this off¡­his own mark will kill him, won¡¯t it?¡± ¡°Close,¡± Rikkard uttered. ¡°It will cause crippling pain. It will permanently destroy his ability to use any magic, of any class. He will effectively be an invalid. This particular power is exceedingly rare, and the first time he uses it¡­is on the hero of Fiefdala. I was ready to march back home and throw him out a window when I got word. But that would still leave you in a bind.¡± ¡°Did you ever have that power? I¡¯ve been told marks can be hereditary,¡± Bonnie pressed. ¡°In theory, I do. I¡¯ve never used it, and vowed I never would. It¡¯s cruel, and too dangerous, and can be easily abused.¡± He let out a soft sigh, fingers clenched on his armrest so tightly, she heard wood creaking.. ¡°Fiona¡­you deserve better than this. You¡¯re stuck in the middle of a spat between my son and me. And I¡¯m sorry you got caught in the middle of this.¡± ¡°Over what? Over doing trade with Vale?¡± she demanded.Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators! ¡°Precisely,¡± he growled. ¡°How could you do this?¡± Bonnie asked, her tail tensed along with her claws. ¡°How could you be so irresponsible to let an untested son take the throne? This mess wouldn¡¯t have happened if it wasn¡¯t for you!¡± ¡°All of my children received lessons on how to rule, Miss Revere,¡± he countered sternly. ¡°Including Barrimeth. Lucy and Edward certainly take after me, but Lucy and I¡­she...doesn¡¯t like the spotlight of royalty. Edward rose through the ranks of the military, and¡­he¡¯s quite competent, with a focus on a small, elite task force. He has earned his distinction, without any favoritism.¡± ¡°And you put the source of our current woes in the hot seat,¡± Darla accused, tail lashing back and forth. ¡°So, when you do finish your little vacation, you best remember who has their literal life on the line!¡± ¡°I know. I have spoken to him and¡­not pleasant words were exchanged. He won¡¯t be harassing you further than he already has.¡± Fiona could hear him grinding his teeth, saying that. ¡°Were it so easy to counter his mark, I¡¯d have opened the dungeons one last time to convince him he¡¯d made a grievous error.¡± There¡¯s something he¡¯s not telling us. She knew it, there was something else going on. Rikkard¡¯s hands were tied, and Barry either had something on him, or the stakes were so dire, he couldn¡¯t risk giving the details. She took a deep breath, and tried to do that Greg thing, where he always remained calm and composed. Now, why can¡¯t he tell us? And why can I trust him at all? ¡°You are fortunate that Fiona may be able to turn this against him, and negotiate a favorable agreement that doesn¡¯t involve mutual assured destruction,¡± Greg shot back coldly. ¡°Why should we not run to the counsel that runs Fiefdala and have him booted?¡± ¡°Because that will solve nothing,¡± Rikkard countered. ¡°If you wanted to attempt that, you¡¯d have done it. And even then, they may not have budged.¡± He then looked at Fiona, and let out a heartfelt sigh. ¡°Fiona, I get it. This is awful, and I have no right to ask anything of you. You¡¯re a free spirit, I¡¯ve known you long enough that even I can tell it,¡± he offered quietly. It soothed her mood, just a little¨Cbut not enough to matter. ¡°Barrimeth decided in my stead. As a father¨Cas a king¨CI had to stand by that decision. Even if it followed the letter of the law, it reeks of violating the spirit of the law.¡± ¡°We¡¯re down to half the value owed, now. Kali is working on getting the assessor, and our expenses and other business-related write-offs are far from fully tapped out,¡± Greg chimed in. ¡°It is still a rather substantial sum, King Rikkard. This entire debt trap was enacted to enlist Miss Swiftheart¨Cinvoluntarily, I might add¨Cto drive a deal with a former¡­rival kingdom.¡± Rikkard let out a growl. ¡°We wouldn¡¯t be in this mess if I hadn¡¯t shown mercy. I should have done what I wanted to do twenty years ago, torched the entirety of Sabitol, and hung every one of those slave traders." Fiona sucked in her breath. ¡°Oh, If I¡¯d been here back then, I¡¯d have been going to town with the torching, let me tell you. Slavery is not cool.¡± ¡°No. It¡¯s not. And that kind of foul ownership of folk lives like they¡¯re little more than cattle, has always sat uncomfortably close to home. Too close.¡± Rikkard frowned and rubbed at his magnificent beard. ¡°I suspect my son thinks the new management is different from the old management. I heard there was an upheaval several months ago, it got bloody, some kind of internal dispute. But, the information was lacking in details on who ended up on the wrong end of a fireball. The best information I heard? Some new summoned took control of Sabitol, and then started redecorating the place violently. Whether they survived the reciprocal strikes by every slave house head, or if they all went up in smoke, is beyond my spy network. Now it¡¯s all shrouded in secrecy. ¡°You have spies?¡± Fiona echoed. ¡°All Kings have spies, Fiona. Even within the Unified Kingdoms,¡± he stated with little emotion. ¡°I don¡¯t like saying it, but we do put people in dangerous places to get us information on unfriendly nations, or worse, actively hostile nations. Across the Aegortin Sea, there is an entire fascist nation-state that thinks it''s the world''s new empire. Luckily, they¡¯re busy fighting off internal disputes. These are the things that keep me up at night. Or the mundane problems like greedy dragons,¡± he added with an eye roll. ¡°Yeah about that. How did Douglas pose such a threat? We steamrolled him!¡± ¡°I have a theory. Minus his hoard you¡¯re selling to much-needed adventurers, I think he lost the backing of his financiers. And the dragon clans back at home cut him off, too. They do not like the idea of being at war with the Unified Kingdoms, and even dragons aren¡¯t invincible.¡± Greybeard sat back and took a sip from his drink, and handed the empty mug to an attendant, who briefly appeared in the image. ¡°Privately speaking, Fiona¡­the military has been scaled back in the past twenty years, after the last skirmish with Vale. It''s an internal defense force. With the allied treaties with the rest of the Unified Kingdoms we signed right around then, border conflicts became nonexistent. Vale knew they¡¯d get bruised, if they tried again.¡± ¡°So, Douglas was just a threat you were underprepared for?¡± ¡°He claimed we stole land from him. That was preposterous, which is why I didn¡¯t pay any heed until he had his kobolds kicking people out of their homes and laying claim to the land,¡± he added while folding his hands together. Fiona nodded quietly, still processing all this. ¡°You know I¡¯m still pissed at you. You allowed this to happen. It could have been me¡­or it could have been your friend, Jacob Fervier. He would have been next in line to get the rights to the treasure as the guild head if I bowed out. He could have been just as screwed as me.¡± He nodded grimly. ¡°I know.¡± ¡°I¡¯m gonna be real with you. I don¡¯t trust you much, but you also told me exactly what I needed to know: I can force his hand if he realizes he has made the worst mistake of his life. Don¡¯t ever expect to ask me anything ever again,¡± Fiona uttered bitterly. ¡°You can be honest. Just say it, your son screwed up. He¡¯s in over his head, he wasted the treasury or the tax funds the kingdom collects. And since he was in that office, he knew how to hide it, up to a certain point. But now, he can¡¯t.¡± ¡°I concur, King Rikkard. The finance irregularities are notable even to us, at our level,¡± Greg chimed in while furrowing his brow. ¡°Fiona had a contact indicating Barry was putting in custom windows in the castle¨Cand were quite expensive. I am convinced that your son, or some other extraneous source, is¨C¡± ¡°Mister Lockheed, do be very careful what you say next,¡± Rikkard warned, in the first full rebuke he had given during the call, his gaze hardened, and all the edges of his face were accentuated. ¡°I suggest you and Miss Swiftheart drop the subject. My son would not steal from his own Kingdom.¡± ¡°And you know this, how?¡± Greg asked. ¡°After what he¡¯s done, nothing is beyond him.¡± ¡°I caught him doing it once, a small amount. I made him fix the problem for the afflicted party, and told him if he ever did it again, he would never have a spot at my table, to betray the trust of the people of Fiefdala.¡± The way he clenched his hands as he stated it, was telling to Fiona. ¡°I am not proud to have to say that.¡± ¡°Or, what? That you''re too prideful to realize Barry was led astray or is complete asshole?¡± Bonnie inputted after Rikkard trailed off. ¡°I''m not a parent, but my parents went through a rough time with my younger brother. He got into trouble a lot.¡± ¡°Miss Revere, different situations. A father should love his children, flaws and high points all included,¡± Rikkard said after a moment. ¡°Misguided as my son is, he is performing somewhat competently. But he has to learn through trial and error.¡± ¡°So you''re okay with me flirting with death?¡± Fiona demanded. ¡°No, I¡¯m not okay with this situation. Now, I''m under no illusion this looks and feels anything but awful. My question is this: can you do it? Can you force his hand so he has to agree to your terms?¡± She pondered it for a good, long minute. The implication was unsettling. ¡°I can do it. It won''t be easy, and I¡¯ll be eating cheap noodles for a while. My partners still need a livable income, too. And tell him to lay off with a deadline! If your kid is thieving and using me as a shakedown to fix his screw-up, I''ll put Greg on the throne when I''m done dunking Barry in the lake, after this is over.¡± ¡°Please don''t. Ruling is even more work than you,¡± Greg groaned. Rikkard regarded him with a scowl¨Cand Fiona. ¡°Given the Lockheed family history, that would be exceedingly off-putting. Please don¡¯t,¡± Rikkard spoke sternly. Rikkard winced and rubbed the bridge of his nose. ¡°You know, Fiona, you remind me too much of Lucy. I adore her to pieces, even though she hates everything about the palace. Keep your chin up, I¡¯m going to find other levers to pull.¡± ¡°Better go carpet roll Glados Hennaway and throw her in the Aerris River, while you''re at it. She''s got Barry wrapped around her finger, and whispering in his ear,¡± Bonnie interjected, and Rikkard rolled his eyes. ¡°Oh, that viper? This is why I can''t have a nice retirement, isn''t it? I''ll see what she''s up to,¡± Rikkard assured her. ¡°Keep the palace from burning down, at a minimum? Oh, and Darla? Can I ask one huge favor?¡± All eyes turned to her, and she let out a low snarling sound. ¡°Oh, absolutely not.¡± ¡°Okay, I deserved that one,¡± Rikkard conceded. ¡°I don''t doubt Miss Swiftheart¡¯s tenacity to solve problems. Even if certain sweets do tend to disappear shortly after visits to the palace,¡± he added with a light smile. She felt a little called out by that, as Rikkard waved farewell. ¡°And Fiona?¡± ¡°Yes?¡± She felt her teeth go on edge like he was going to ask one more favor. ¡°When this is over¡­I¡¯ll make it up to you. Somehow. Though, I don¡¯t know what can come close enough to an apology for this level of mess.¡± The relay went dim, and the room got quiet. Rikkard¡¯s parting words were ones she wished she could have heard from her father. She felt a pang of heartache that tightened at her throat before she pocketed the relay. Bonnie noticed her slowness, and tapped her shoulder. ¡°Hey, you okay?¡± She was slow to respond and fought back that clawing, choking feeling. ¡°No. I unloaded on him, and I¡¯m not sure if the entire damn family is crooked¡­or if there¡¯s a bigger problem at work, underneath all this. ¡°Hey, for what it''s worth, we should all go to the harvest festival in a few days. It¡¯ll be a good opportunity to¡­well, inject a little brightness into this,¡± Darla reminded them. ¡°Sheesh. Caught up in a family royalty drama session? The dragon was the easier problem to solve.¡± Fiona nodded quietly, and regarded her friends. ¡°Yes, he was.¡± Vol. 1, Ch. 40: The Harvest Festival, Part One ¡°Fiona, you¡¯re singing again.¡± Greg let out a sigh as they closed up early on Siertsday for the harvest festival. It was hard to not notice it--the city had been getting underway for the past week by the outskirts, in the open fields where she could see it from her apartment, just barely. But she wasn¡¯t going to stop humming for Greg, this was going to be too much fun! ¡°Fiona, you¡¯ve been humming for two hours.¡± ¡°But I loooove autumn! It¡¯s the best season! It¡¯s crisp cool weather, jackets, and cozy clothes, but not needing my mittens! It¡¯s the perfect blend of seasons! And you need singing to seal the deal!¡± she stated. To hone the point, she wrapped a soft crimson and gold striped scarf around her neck, made of the softest wool she¡¯d ever felt. She would have said it was magically enchanted, but Bonnie hadn¡¯t done any work on it yet, and she¡¯d gotten it for a steal at a craft fair the previous day. ¡°C¡¯mon, Greg, we¡¯re ahead for the week, waaaay ahead!¡± ¡°I would like to state that I am cautiously optimistic about our projections. Kali, are the sensors all working now?¡± The avian teen popped up between rounds of connecting small mage steel wires, and was carefully threading connections together under the kiosk. The wires were fed through harnesses and pre-cut holes under the floorboards to a small room that they had set up for logistics and security. threading wire through utility areas could be such a pain, until Fiona tethered a gold coin, and pulled it through using her ability to make gold weigh nothing--and apparently, snap it to her hand? This thing had immense potential, she was realizing. ¡°Almost done. Hah. The teachers were laughing when I told them I wanted to switch classes at my budget school. I can¡¯t wait to show off my new skills.¡± He was gritting his beak with a wire hanging out gently, and then grabbed the loose end and threaded the last one to the array of circuitry. ¡°Job¡¯s almost done. I need to run a quick check on Lunesday, we¡¯ll be good to go.¡± ¡°Ooh! Working industriously, young man! Here¡¯s a coffee to go,¡± Darla gently set down a waxed paper cup, filled with an aromatic delight that Fiona got jealous of¨Cuntil Darla handed her one. ¡°I was gonna have to dump it at the end of the day anyway, now it won¡¯t go to waste.¡± ¡°You¡¯re a gem, Darla. Oooh, I smell hazelnut!¡± Fiona beamed after she took a sip. ¡°How do you do this so easily?¡± ¡°Class perks, dear. Just like you¡¯ve likely picked up some intuition for business?¡± she added as she threw on a jacket. Even for Darla, it was becoming a tad too cool outside, and Bonnie was dressed up in a light sweater and leggings, and her fashionable witchy-looking hat. She was springing on her feet, and eager to go. ¡°Oh, what¡¯s got you excited, Bon-bon?¡± Darla asked casually. ¡°The harvest festival has the best sweets!¡± she exclaimed with a spin on the hardwood floor, and she rubbed her hands together. ¡°The best part is Marita¡¯s homemade pies! Ground bison, a little bit of mashed tuber, just a sprinkling of orange root, a little bit of seasoning¡­it¡¯s sooo good! She tosses in a good squash mash on the side, and she makes it every year! It¡¯s savory, with a tiny bit of sweet!¡± ¡°Save room, there¡¯s plenty of festival to go around,¡± Greg suggested. He threw on a dark jacket over his regular business vest and collared shirt. Fiona swore he never dressed down for just about anything. ¡°Kali, c¡¯mon, we¡¯re closing up, you can finish after the weekend!¡± ¡°Alright, one last thing¡­there.¡± Kali let out a squawk of excitement as the displays lit up, and the arcanist circuits started glowing with blue and golden lights, and he flapped his wings in excitement¨Cexcept he forgot that he was scrunched under a console. He dinged his wings on the edges, and let out a squawk of pain. ¡°Okay, easy there, don¡¯t clip your wings before we go have a good time!¡± Fiona sighed, and he rubbed at his wing knuckle gingerly with one arm. ¡°Seriously, how do you guys fly? My math isn''t bad, but uh--where I come from, birds only get so big, before the maximum thrust generated from your wings, is exceeded by the weight to sustain such a body.¡± ¡°It''s a trace of magic,¡± he shrugged. ¡°But there is a limit to it, and I¡¯d rather not become a lead bird, ya know? We can¡¯t just fly from coast to coast. Didn¡¯t they teach you anything in school about the various folk?¡± ¡°Still kinda learning the ropes. I was summoned, and said summoner is nowhere to be seen,¡± she answered. ¡°Wow, really? I wouldn¡¯t have known, till you said that.¡± He grabbed his bag, and they all headed out together, after she and Bonnie locked up the door. ¡°Yeah, let me cut you in on a little secret. Weird stuff happens around me, Kali. Roll with it, you¡¯ll be fine,¡± Fiona answered him back. ¡°I¡¯m still, you know, learning. About Cepalune. This world is¡­¡± she trailed off. ¡°It¡¯s beautiful, Kali. Don¡¯t destroy this world, like we did ours.¡± ¡°What happened there?¡± he asked. She took a sip of her coffee, and winced. ¡°Bad stuff, kid. Someone yanked me from certain death. Which is¡­kinda why I¡¯m a bit, the way I am. At least I¡¯ve still got it in me to enjoy festivities.¡± It was the most forthcoming statement she''d given anyone, beside Bonnie, Darla and Greg, about her past. ¡°They had that, back where you came from?¡± ¡°Absolutely! Fall was the best season for festivities.¡± Fiona took a deep inhale of that crisp, cool air. A light breeze played with the leaves on the ground, and scattered a few more that were clinging to the trees, now in shades of purple, red, and gold. ¡°Now, it is festival time!¡± she beamed and practically sprang down the steps, and spun a whirl on the pavement. ¡°You know what that means? Food, fun, and fine crafts!¡± she skipped along under the bright blue sky, with a few puffy clouds floating overhead. She was just too excited about this, because a harvest on a whole other world? There was so much new to try. ¡°Oh boy, there goes our girl again,¡± Bonnie called out behind her, moving with the group in unison. ¡°Fi, I¡¯m convinced that you¡¯re some kind of immortal spirit or something, because you almost never run out of energy!¡± ¡°Nonsense, my sweetheart fellow fox! There are adventures to be found! Food and wine shall indeed be mine, away we go, to the fairground!¡± she sang as she skipped along, and started humming again.This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it ¡°I am fearful when Wintertide starts,¡± Greg chimed in with a chuckle. ¡°This town will have never experienced that level of infectious enthusiasm.¡± Fifteen minutes later, they crested the low hill on the city outskirts, where the harvest festival had been set up, adjacent to the lake. It was a large meadow with low trees, and various tents, sundries, and a stage had all been set up. Nowhere else in the city was there enough room to set up such an event¨Cnot even the market she frequented had quite enough room. There had to be thousands of people already milling about at the dozens of tents and displays. Fiona paid for the entrance fee, which was a pittance¨Conly a few silvers total for everyone, and sprang to action. ¡°Okay, it¡¯s my first time, I want the tastiest, most savory meats, first! Bonnie, where¡¯s this meat pie place that you were talking about? It sounds almost like Shepherd''s pie, back where I came from.¡± ¡°We¡¯re gonna skip the magical displays, baked delights, jugglers, magitech demonstrations, and more?¡± Bonnie asked with a clap on her shoulder, grinning delightfully. ¡°Girl, pace yourself! We¡¯ve got all day, there¡¯s plenty to see. They also have sparring rounds and a tournament melee Last I heard, it was an open invite, anyone could join!¡± ¡°Who would I face?¡± she asked. Bonnie put her hands up in the air. ¡°Could be anyone. Even Greybeard could join in! Though he¡¯s probably soaking in a hot spring right now, so maybe not him." Fiona glared at Bonnie at this mention. "Also, you''re kinda pissed at him, and I feel like you''d make it an unfriendly melee." "Dude stiffed me. One more attempt to screw me, and I''ll tell Jake that we''re putting Greg on the throne! I like Greybeard, but he''s acting so sus right now," she growled. "Something rotten is going on, I can sense it now. Something else is going on, which is why he didn''t dropkick Barry into the lake himself yet. I''m calling Lucy later, she must know what''s going on with her dad." "You would seriously do that, toss Greybeard out of his own kingdom?" Bonnie looked fearful. Fiona doubled down and grinned. "I don''t know what''s more terrifying. You, getting pushed to limits, or that you could possibly pull it off, and still be loved for it." ¡°It''s hypothetical! I just want to run a shop, and not have to worry about palace intrigue crap. Because this, is what this smells like,¡± she added, before she wrapped her scarf around her neck, having come loose in the breeze. ¡°Tournament, yes, by the way, I¡¯ll at least watch a few rounds. But first, food!¡± ¡°They have a barbeque boar that¡¯s really tasty,¡± Kali suggested, and pointed down the row. ¡°Usually, they set up in a purple and yellow tent. The festival was a nice break from the orphanage. Ugh, memo to not have sticky fingers," he sighed. ¡°Yes, please refrain from that,¡± Greg said dryly. ¡°Darla, not working here today? It¡¯s quite a crowd.¡± ¡°Nah, even this barista needs to take a day off,¡± Darla said with a twirl of her hair, now let down. Her nails were also painted a festive red and orange, to match the fall colors. ¡°Plus, it gives me a chance to sample the market, and have fun. I wanna do axe tosses, by the way.¡± Bonnie gulped at this. ¡°Where on earth did you get the ability to throw axes?¡± Darla smiled and flexed a toned muscle in her arm. ¡°Culinary stuff requires muscle to chop through fresh butcher meat, which I¡¯ve done on occasion, and it¡¯s baked into my class. Plus, my dad had me practice. Of course, he was throwing axes recreationally, and not at other darklings. I wonder, how our dear retired hero would do?¡± Darla added while elbowing Fiona. ¡°Eh, I bet I could hit the target. I just hated carrying around throwable items. They¡¯re heavy. The hammer became my go-to,¡± she added as she patted the haft of the weapon. Strangely, the guards hadn¡¯t even questioned it. ¡°Plus, a bit of magic and a few items filled out my lineup nicely. No one expects an elf dancing around and smashing things with a giant hammer, you know? Wanna make it a contest?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll join in,¡± Greg added with a head nod. ¡°I¡¯ve a little skill.¡± ¡°Oh, this¡¯ll be good. What¡¯re the stakes?¡± Fiona asked. ¡°Lunch?¡± Greg flexed his arms and cricked his neck while looking rather confident. ¡°I¡¯ll take that wager.¡± A few minutes later, they had made their way to a platform set up in an open area, where a few targets were propped up on wooden training dummies. The announcer, a lean young man, was rallying up a crowd. ¡°Well now, who do I see with my eyes, but the hero of Fiefdala, who has made her way to my booth! What an honor! Are you here to test your skills in the knife throwing contest?¡± ¡°Yeah, got a little wager with my friends on who can hit the bullseye the closest,¡± she announced, as her, Darla and Greg all stepped up to the line. The announcer motioned to his assistant, who brought out a set of throwing daggers for everyone to pull from a block, and Fiona tested the balance. It wasn¡¯t a hammer, but she''d used them before. These ones weren¡¯t enchanted, but they did have a bit of gold inlay on them. Real gold. But, how did she know that? That heart of hers was fluttering again on her wrist, and she felt like an electric current ran through her arm, from the dagger. She felt utterly confident in this¨Cthe magic wasn¡¯t in the dagger, it was in her? It was just like when she held the other gold items. What was stranger, was that she instinctively felt it was gold inlaid on the items. Her skin seemed to warm when in contact with it, like the soaking heat of a nice campfire. She barely heard the announcement that they could begin. She glanced at Darla, Greg, and a few others who had stepped into the fray, and Darla peered at the target with the focus of a hawk. She flicked the dagger into a throwing position in her hand, and flung it with deadly precision at the target. One hit hit just on the edge of the target. Two were close to the inner circle, but not dead-center. She peered over at Greg, with his zen focus, and he flicked the daggers by instinct into his fingertips¨Cholding three of them at once? He threw them in rapid succession, and all three were in the outer circle¨Cdeadly aim, for sure. She was no slouch, either, but that gold almost seemed to sing in her hands. She narrowed her gaze, and tossed the dagger in one hand, tumbling it to check the balance, the two other ones palmed in her other hand. She took a deep breath, and flung with all her focus. The first dagger sunk into the outer circle, close to the mark. It was almost as if she¡¯d had a faint tether to the dagger¨Cor the gold inlaid in it? She flung the two others, willing those daggers to adjust course as they tumbled, ever so gently through the air. Just like the coin, but throwing, rather than receiving. Thunk. Thunk. She stared, amazed, as those daggers sunk into the inner circle, mere millimeters from the center of the target. None of the other contenders came close, and Greg went wide eyed at the precision throwing. ¡°Welp, guess I need to go practice again,¡± he finally admitted. She peered at her wrist, and that heart was flapping up and down. Did she¡­control the gold in that hilt through some weird connection? To guide it to the target? A thought occurred to her. That magnetic grab¡­was it¡­telekinesis? She decided to put it to the test. ¡°I think I was too close to the line, may I try again, from further way?¡± she asked politely. ¡°Fiona, I¡¯m pretty sure you weren¡¯t, and you¡¯re an immensely accomplished¨C¡± Greg started to say, but she gave him the tense-eared elf look, and he dropped the line of thought. The attendant nodded, grabbed the daggers, and she made sure sure was well beyond the line. ¡°No need to show off, miss, you did excellent grouping,¡± the man stated with amusement before adjusting his festive hat. ¡°Got something to prove?¡± ¡°Just giving myself a challenge,¡± she answered with a widespread grin, and felt the gold inlaid in the dagger, warm to the touch. She could feel a tingle of energy connecting to the precious metal¨Clike an electric current. Flick, flick-flick. She threw the daggers in a rapid fashion, and the first, struck near-center. The two daggers, thrown from each hand, came practically dead-center to the bulls-eye, and the man looked on with widened eyes. ¡°Uh, well, guess that wasn¡¯t a fluke.¡± ¡°That¡¯s a lie, Fiona is a fluke,¡± Greg grumbled, and Bonnie growled playfully at him. ¡°Hey, that¡¯s my bestie. Way to go, Fi!¡± she cheered. Fiona, however, had learned something very interesting. Either her muscle memory was still at peak, or she had a powerful telekinesis over gold. The implication on this one felt subtle. But immense, nonetheless. Vol. 1, Ch. 41: The Harvest Festival, Part Two Nothing could prepare Fiona for the size of the pies that were being served in the quaint little tent. She''d seen pies, and this one was just...divine. "Yes. That. I''ll have that. All of it," she stated distantly, as the aroma of seasoned meat and well cooked vegetable medley hit hard. Marita¡¯s pies were not the only food being served--there were also tasty baked goods, still warm from the oven in the form of melty cookies. The stand was run by a lady rounded with middle age and children-bearing, but quick on her feet as she carried several of the pies to and from a mobile oven. Tiny fire elementals provided the flame and were fed with cords of wood nearby. She swore she could hear the fire spirits feasting on the timber, and screaming for more. It was one way to keep a job, she figured, though she hadn¡¯t seen too many of them lingering around in the streets. Her focus was on the pie brought out to her and the others, and she gasped. It was huge. And filled with a slightly smoky, savory scent that beckoned to her! ¡°Did anyone else hear Fiona¡¯s eyes dilate, or was that just me?¡± Bonnie joked as she too, grabbed some simple disposable utensils made of some fast-growing wood. She carefully cut a section of the pie and handed the first slice to Fiona. ¡°Nice tossing on the daggers, by the way. Cute, and dangerous! Doug likely overestimated you when you steamrolled into his lair.¡± ¡°I eat dragons for breakfast. I mean, not literally," she stammered while Bonnie giggled. She quickly dove into the pie, and enjoyed the earthly flavors of the vegetables, and the slightly sweet, but mostly savory texture of the bison forming the heart of it. It was tender, juicy, and well-cooked¨Cshe almost burned her mouth in the process and tried to fan away the heat. ¡°Oh, this is so good! I love you Marita!¡± she called out to the counter, where the middle-aged lady with the gray-streaked black hair smiled and waved. ¡°Anytime, dear! I heard you were in business now, get tired of beating up dragons?¡± she called out with a hearty laugh. ¡°I only beat up the one! And a small army of kobolds. Dang, it¡¯s hard to beat up adorably cute monsters. Even the slimes.¡± She peered over to Greg and Darla, who took a slower pace on pie-to-face, and were talking calmly about coffee. Bonnie¡¯s ears were still perked up in excitement as she dug in, and took care to not get any drippings on her jacket. ¡°Man, think of all the things I haven¡¯t experienced here yet!¡± ¡°They didn¡¯t have fairs where you grew up?¡± Bonnie teased, and jabbed an almost-carrot vegetable on her plate. ¡°I mean, we did, but it was different. And in some ways, it was also the same. Kinda strange, how getting transmigrated across the cosmos has that effect on ya,¡± she said before leaning back, now feeling a slight lethargy from eating too fast. She took a minute to grab a sip of water from a wooden cup, well crafted and smoothed edges, the handle feeling light beneath her fingers. No one else was paying attention, and Greg was talking about some kind of imported beans with Darla. Kali was chatting with someone else--possibly a school mate that had been there earlier. ¡°Bonnie, what if I¡¯m the last survivor of Earth?¡± she asked quietly. ¡°What if there is no Earth anymore?¡± ¡°Then that makes you its storyteller, its chronicler of its history, its culture and people,¡± Bonnie said softly. But, instead of looking down, she looked right at Fiona. ¡°I¡¯ve been doing the research. I know some summons came from there, but¡­they can come from any corner of the universe. The fact is, you don¡¯t know what happened. And if you think about it, you¡¯ll think about what you¡¯re missing there. What you should be thinking about, is what you carry with you.¡± ¡°That¡¯s¡­an interesting spin on it,¡± she murmured after a moment. ¡°So, you did a little reading? I have, too. And I don''t understand one fundamental question: why." ¡°I know, Fi. I want answers, too. When I¡¯m not at the shop, with you guys, or at the apartment. I have to keep it discreet, on account of a nosy, mop-headed blonde we both share a mutual distrust of,¡± she added in an unsubtle stab at King Barry. ¡°It¡¯s still mystifying, even to me, the concept of other worlds. That people cross the thresholds between them at the will of mages, sorcerers, and god-like beings far more powerful than I could ever hope to be. I¡¯m just a little kitsune witch, with a cute hat and a couple of enchantments. That¡¯s enough for me,¡± she added with a toothy grin. ¡°Besides, if we had more than one of you in the world, the bounds of reality could not contain your limitless energies,¡± she added as she booped her nose gently. ¡°Oooh, you sassy vixen you!¡± Fiona scolded, even as she smirked. She did, however, give some weight to Bonnie¡¯s words. ¡°You know something, you made a great point. Earth is filled with a bunch of tough-as-nails people. I¡¯m sure that it fought on, and maybe even won, since I¡¯ve been gone. What else did the books say?¡± ¡°Not much. Summoning is a bit of an eldritch art, reserved for summoner classes. It¡¯s not a class you could easily pick up, and it¡¯s super restrictive. Moreso than the mage-related classes. I couldn¡¯t rule out one of the gods doing it¡­but, without leaving you even a message or some kind of greetings? That¡¯s odd.¡± ¡°Why would a god or goddess bring little old me out here, if that were the case?¡± she pondered. ¡°My last dying act was one of defiance, and getting other people to safety. There¡¯s a lot of people who were doing that.¡± ¡°Hmm. Good question. That still comes back to the question of why you came back as an elven. You¡¯re sure you weren¡¯t elven?¡± Fiona tapped her ears for emphasis. ¡°Bonnie, I''m pretty sure I wasn''t. Man, that¡¯s a little bit of weirdness, the first time I looked in a mirror? It was mostly me? But sort of not? I bet a lot of summons freak out. I freaked out. A little bit. Call me vain, but, I was remarkably average beforehand, so being handed something like that¡­you tend to wonder what strings came attached.¡± ¡°The mileage may vary, from the few records I¡¯ve been able to dig up. Just letting you know I¡¯m not leaving you hanging, Fi,¡± Bonnie said proudly. ¡°Seriously though, you are crazy strong if you can lift that absurd weapon of yours. That¡¯s not very elven-like.¡± ¡°It¡¯s all in the muscle memory,¡± she added as she flexed an arm for emphasis. ¡°Ah, but what an experience. Do you know what the strange bit is? I mean, there are monsters, all sorts of Folk from every single page of every single fantasy book I¡¯ve ever read, magic is a real thing¡­and yet, life isn¡¯t all that dissimilar here.¡± ¡°In Fiefdala, yeah. And the Unified Kingdoms, which form a protective alliance. But, go further outside the sphere of influence, and you¡¯ll find¡­less successful kingdoms, by the coast, by the deserts to the far east, and fuether south. A lot of nomadic and smaller communities. Beyond that, across the sea to the west¡­they don¡¯t treat life the same way,¡± Bonnie explained. Greybeard was correct, that empire wannabe is best served by being isolated from everyone. Have you seen a map of the world, yet?¡± ¡°Nah. I was busy doing too many other things, and seeing it in person,¡± Fiona said with a smirk. ¡°What else is out there?¡± ¡°Sheesh. What isn¡¯t there out there?¡± Bonnie laughed. ¡°Where would you want to go, is probably a better question.¡± She mulled over it for a second. ¡°South. I¡¯d like to go visit the Barnathi Elven tribe someday, in the plains.¡± ¡°Why there?¡± Bonnie asked. ¡°I mean, I get that you look a little like them, but there¡¯s more than one elven community.¡± ¡°Gemma said I look like them. It¡¯s not far from Fiefdala. Maybe it¡¯ll give me a chance to figure out a few things.¡± She glanced over to Greg and Darla, laughing about something. They were almost wrapped up with the meal, and Fiona made it a point to wrap this up, too. ¡°Maybe I''ll double up and make it a business trip, yeah?¡± ¡°Sheesh. Always working, aren¡¯t you?¡± Bonnie replied with a heartfelt sigh. ¡°You think it¡¯ll give you answers?¡± ¡°Maybe. I had a horrible thought, Bonnie. What if I displaced someone else, when I was summoned? Stole their body, put them...elsewhere? What would you do, if you thought your entire existence was stolen, and not through any fault of your own? Would you just ignore it? Or would you try to find answers?¡± She posed.This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it. ¡°Well¡­you make a fair point. I would want to know, even if it''s an answer I might not like." She folded her hands together, and tapping her claws gently against each other. ¡°But, that isn¡¯t one we¡¯re finding for a while, most likely. I can''t imagine anyone would be that cruel to do that. Or if its even possible." ¡°Yeah. For now, let¡¯s deal with this blonde muppet, who decided it¡¯s fun to piss off heroes and cute merchants,¡± she added with a wink, and rose from the table, now well fed. Greg and Darla had just gotten up, and complimenting Marita about the food. Fiona gazed at them and clapped her hands together. ¡°Alright, what¡¯s next?¡± ¡°I vote we go watch a bunch of chrome dome knights bash each other with sticks and rocks,¡± Darla proposed with a flash of teeth, and pounded one fist into her other palm. ¡°We do that underground, too. But it¡¯s usually just with fists, we¡¯re uh¡­prickly enough that blades and rocks need not apply.¡± ¡°And a heart melter,¡± Fiona added with a grin, and looped an arm around her and Bonnie. ¡°Well, shall we go watch some primal men beat each other up with sticks?¡± ¡°There¡¯s also jousting and dueling. There¡¯s room for professionalism,¡± Greg chimed in with a small smile. ¡°What about you, Fiona, want to jump in on it?¡± ¡°Nah, I¡¯m good. We can let someone else dole out the beatings for a bit,¡± she responded with a smile and skipped along while leading Bonnie and Darla, who leaned into the motion. They almost barreled into an elven couple who had to swerve out of the way, too engaged in laughing with each other. ¡°You know what else we had back at home? They had this thing called ninja warrior.¡± ¡°What¡¯s a ninja?¡± Bonnie inquired. ¡°A darkly dressed, stealthy dude who would assassinate people under the cover of night. They had this almost mythical status in culture. They didn¡¯t do a whole lot of that in reality. Anyway the point is, they had this obstacle course over water hazards, and other displays of agility. You had to complete the tasks fast, and it pushed you to your beating limits against a timer. It was so whacked!¡± she explained. ¡°Man, now that sounds like something I¡¯d try! My witchery skills aren¡¯t limited to just spells, I know how to be mobile!¡± Bonnie said with a gleeful smile. ¡°Think you could make that popular here?¡± ¡°Bon-bon, if I can bring noodle bowls to Jarl''s, and they become an instant hit, then I bet I can bring a whole lot more to the table. I just wanna make sure I bring the good aspects of the culture of where I come from to the forefront. We had some not-so-good habits, too.¡± Like influencers. Or frozen TV dinners. Ick. Those are two things I¡¯ll spare this place from, she thought. ¡°Or perhaps spending habits?¡± Greg suggested dryly as if reading her mood. She stuck her tongue out at him; he could be such a stick in the mud, sometimes! But he also relented after a moment, and gestured to her. ¡°To be fair, you have taken my advice somewhat.¡± ¡°I know. Now I only get to buy one cute pair of boots from Craig''s shop. And I got them on sale. I shall cherish them twice as much!¡± A few minutes later, they were sitting on the wooden stands, watching a display of combat that Fiona yelled and cheered at enthusiastically. This was a sport that required immense attention, and that they should make champions out of this: Wrestling. ¡°This game is a bunch of men, grabbing other men, trying to push them out of a circle. Where¡¯s the bloodshed? Where¡¯s the attempts to gouge out eyes, crack skulls?¡± Darla complained, but that deep-set smile made it obvious she was still enjoying it. ¡°This is a game of deep skill, using the positioning of the body and maneuvering to beat an opponent. It has simple rules and deep complexity,¡± Greg commented, and leaned in while watching the fight. ¡°Each move has a counter. And each counter has a counter. This is not just a game of strength, but of positioning, agility, and reading your opponent.¡± The heavyset man trying to bulldoze the smaller, more agile man found them locked in arms in the fine-grained sand arena surrounded by small wooden pylons. Each man gritted their teeth in utter focus. The small man bowed with the moves, but did not give ground, and they stayed fixed in the center of the circle. With a sudden maneuver, the smaller man used the bigger foe¡¯s weight against him and stumbled him. The man crossed the circle line and skidded to the ground, cursing. ¡°See?¡± Greg asked Darla with a casual smile. ¡°One must appreciate the artistry that goes into the painting, as well as the easel he works upon.¡± ¡°Bah, get me jousting! I wanna see some guys fly!¡± Darla responded with a cheer. They were soon watching the next event of jousting except for one small, but significant deviation: They were riding feathery griffins¨Cmounts with well-designed saddles, and those flexible lances were made of wood and a soft resin material coated at the end, to ensure a blunt impact. The rules were much the same as jousting, each hit counted a certain number of points, depending on the strike location. But, unseating them from the griffins was typically met with a magical flare of a golden net catching the flying rider, with the darkly dressed mages hurrying them out of the way before the griffins came back around to try and harass them further. It was hard to tell who was in control: the griffin, or the riders. All Fiona knew, is that this was a contest she¡¯d never be able to see anywhere else. She cheered as the number of dismounted knights rose, and they shook off the rough landing to the helping hands of the mage staff keeping them from becoming ragdolls. ¡°What do you think, Fi, you think you could ride a griffin?¡± Bonnie asked with a sharpened smile, and pointed at one clawing and stomping, eager for the next round. ¡°Bah, that¡¯s small time! I wanna get a dragon mount! He will be my bestie, and we will never get a traffic ticket, ever!¡± she declared with a roar. ¡°Uh, dragons are living, thinking beings, Fi. pretty sure it won¡¯t work the way you think,¡± Bonnie said with a clap on her shoulder, smiling proudly. ¡°Then again, I suppose you would have the courage to try, wouldn¡¯t you?¡± ¡°Oh hells, yes, Bonnie¨C¡± She was interrupted by a man walking into the field after the last round of griffin jousting had concluded. He was a lizardkin who stood about a good two meters tall, with smooth green pebbly skin, a long swaying tail, and and sharp yellow eyes, smiling and waving at the crowd He was dressed in a rather fancy tunic and leggings to accommodate his clawed feet, and he tapped an arcane relay. Sound feedback from the small crystals adorning the site rung at a deafening level. ¡°Ladies and gentlemen, and folks of all shapes and sizes! We¡¯d like to bring you to the main event, the melee tournament! Now, we¡¯ll be starting in about a good thirty minutes, but there is an open invite! Anyone who signs up in the next twenty minutes shall be able to attend, and we do ask, this is not for the faint of heart! Injuries can and do happen, so make sure you¡¯re not doing it just to just impress the girlfriend!¡± The announcer called out, to a few laughs in the crowd. Fiona kept getting that tingly sensation on her wrist. She wondered what it meant, but her eyes were set on the melee that was being prepared. She kind of wanted to join, but she was in clothing far too cute to attempt it today. ¡°Now, for all you individuals wondering, what is the prize? Well, I think I¡¯ll introduce a lovely young talent that you all know quite well.¡± ¡°Holy cats, is that¨Cis she¨Coh my,¡± Bonnie gasped, and pointed to the stage, where a rather discreet coach had pulled up in a steam automaton. The announcer gestured to the open door, and someone walked out that surprised even Fiona. Approaching the stage with silky brown hair, long legs, and a ravishing red dress that both hugged the curves and still appeared quite modest, was Princess Lucy, accommodated by a few lightly uniformed agents of the crown, looking far too serious to her calm demeanor. Fiona was popular almost everywhere she went, but everyone adored Lucy, and Fiona leaned in as the crowd went wild. Lucy could have easily taken her father¡¯s throne, and she suspected it was because she didn¡¯t want to be burdened down, have to get married, and give up fun times. Bonnie snapped her fingers by her ear, and she flinched. ¡°Ooooh, is someone getting your attention?¡± Bonnie teased. ¡°That dress is more racecar red than you, Bonnie, how could she not get my attention? Oh, I love that cute jacket, too! Where does she shop?¡± Fiona asked aloud, while Bonnie gently slapped her on the back. ¡°Uh huh, nice deflection, Fi. Didn¡¯t think the royalty were gonna pay a visit,¡± Bonnie commented while also clapping, and Lucy started to introduce herself. ¡°Pretty sure she doesn¡¯t shop at Jaycee¡¯s though, that dress is from Melanie, the same lady that made yours. Not quite the same design, but it¡¯s gorgeous.¡± Bonnie¡¯s description didn¡¯t quite cut it, because the dress slowly shifted through various fall colors in small waves, from red, to orange, to gold and back to a royal purple, as flashy as anything Fiona had seen in the mid-afternoon sun. Lucy hasn''t called me yet, in the few weeks I''ve been back. Has she been avoiding me? They were sort of friends, considering her proximity to Greybeard. Fiona decided to wait, for now. Maybe she''d heard about her brother''s antics? She would have appreciated a call, in retrospect. ¡°Hello and thank you, everyone! My brother was delayed a little bit this afternoon--Kingly stuff, so I came here to give you guys a warm welcome! And totally not because I heard Marita had her baked pies!¡± Lucy announced with the relay that the lizardman had been using. ¡°This day is for all the heroes and citizens of Fiefdala, who work tirelessly to bring us this day of culture, festivities, and fun for everyone! And snacks! Someone I know was always talking about snacks¨Cpoor dad had to lock them up when she was visiting, in between defending our beloved kingdom!¡± she added to a series of laughs. Fiona¡¯s ears were burning at that comment, as were her cheeks. ¡°I¡­I have a reputation?¡± she asked meekly. Bonnie broke out in laughter, unable to contain herself. ¡°Hah-hah, yes, Fi, you do! You are the snack ninja, based on that word you taught us!¡± she said, while Fiona tried to sink lower into her seat¨Cit was more surprising more people hadn¡¯t noticed their little group. That was, until Lucy looked up at the stands, and pointed right at her, with a big, beaming smile. ¡°Hi Fi, glad you could make it! Little favor? Come on down!¡± Welp, so much for a small entrance, Fiona thought as everyone cheered and made an opening for her. There was no hiding, now. Vol. 1, Ch. 42: The Harvest Festival, Part Three ¡°Fiona, so much for not making waves,¡± Greg called out between the cheers of the people in the stands. She slowly made her way down the steps, trying not to trip. ¡°Uh, well now, I did not expect this, at all." ¡°You and half of Fiefdala, Greg,¡± Darla called out behind her, and Fiona worried that there was any number of things that could ruin this impression. The Princess of Fiefdala, calling on her? What was her angle? Maybe she heard that her brother had been an utter sleazebag, and this was her way of rewarding her for toughing it out? Maybe that¡¯s why she hasn¡¯t called? Because she was worried I¡¯d call her out on her brothers¡¯ dragon crap? It was one possibility. Her bigger worry was if she had something stained on her jacket, or that her hair looked frazzled, or that she might have eaten too much of that meat pie. That could be a dire problem, eventually. More pressing, was the fact that she¡¯d now been called out in front of a massive crowd, and it wasn''t long before people started calling her out as the champion of Fiefdala, the war of the flirt, and ¡®crazy hot elf chick¡¯ even got thrown out, much to her mild amusement. This crowd was an order of magnitude larger than anything she¡¯d had to handle before, and perception was everything. Bonnie was clearing a path ahead of her, and gave anyone who tried to get handsy the kitsune glare, and more than a subtle growl. Which was far cuter than it was intimidating on her. Fiona was a good sport, and didn¡¯t let her know that part. Okay, what is my plan here? What is Lucy''s plan? Just a friendly ¡®how are you doing, and I¡¯m sorry my brother is a jerk?¡¯ She was already climbing up the platform to greet her, and one of the guards motioned to stop her. ¡°Milady, security protocols¨C¡± one started to say, but was instantly silenced by Lucy, who waved to Fiona. ¡°That¡¯s Fiona Swiftheart. You know, the one that bullied the bully dragon back to the swamp? Pretty sure I know it¡¯s her,¡± she scolded before extending her arms, face lit with delight. ¡°Fiona, darling, how are you?" ¡°Oh, you know, super good? I didn¡¯t brush my teeth or anything, and I¡¯m off the clock and¨C¡± Fiona sighed and just rolled with it, with Lucy giving her a greeting hug, and then raising her hand high in the air, to the raucous cheers of the audience. This was too much attention beyond her normal limit. Up to a certain point was great, but this kind of attention always came with trouble attached. Lucy let go, and Fiona only just noticed how excited she was to see her. Had she made an impression of a lasting kind? Her last forays into the palace had been more than just a little bit of misadventure of snacks going mysteriously missing. Lucy was fun to be around. ¡°Sorry for the impromptu callout, the ticket agent at the front tipped me off you were here, and I couldn''t resist! Also, if I could have I would have been at the grand opening of your store, but I was busy dealing with Dad. Ugh! I gave him a good chewing out for putting Barry up in residence, like it wasn''t going to be an utterly terrible idea!¡± Most of Lucy''s words were drowned out by the crowd, waiting eagerly for a cue for a speech, perhaps? ¡°Play along for a bit, will you?¡± Lucy asked with a wink. ¡°Oh, whatcha got?¡± Fiona leaned in, now at ease. From what she knew, Lucy was level-headed and cheery. She¡¯d probably learned a lot from her dad, listening in while he did his kingly duties: how to negotiate, and play to a crowd. ¡°Just a tiny little favor to put some egg on my brother¡¯s face, after what he did, and more to come,¡± she replied with bright eyes and upturned cheeks. ¡°Promise me you¡¯ll enter the tournament, you¡¯ve got time.¡± ¡°Oh, boy,¡± Fiona sighed contentedly. ¡°This''ll be good. Do your thing.¡± she took a step back, arms folded with a relaxed posture, and Lucy motioned to the crowd for silence. ¡°Alright alright, I know, Princess duties, amirite?¡± Lucy called out with her arcane relay, to the enthusiastic response of the crowd. ¡°Alright, here¡¯s the deal. Big brother¡¯s on his way, because he got curious to see what everyone was up to! Let¡¯s give him a warm welcome when he gets here! He¡¯s been very busy keeping that heavy crown on his head. It¡¯s tough being a king! Meetings every day, laws to sign into effect, it¡¯s so boring! Now, ya know what¡¯s fun? A good old-fashioned melee!¡± The idea of humiliating Barry under the cover of his sister was an opportunity too good to pass up. Even with her reservations about not drawing attention. Especially after getting her class in the most dramatic way possible. And for some reason, Wingding was flapping excitedly. C¡¯mon, what are you, my own built-in hint fairy? Hey, listen! Hey, listen! She thought while glancing down subtly. She felt her gaze navigating towards the assembled combatants. Some were tough-as-nails soldiers and a few were even adventurers, well-seasoned. A few of them, less so. She felt like her gaze was being drawn to someone, but she couldn¡¯t tell who¨Cuntil the wingbeats started fluttering more, and she slowed down her examination, while Lucy continued. ¡°Now, I think I''ll sweeten the pot a little, as they say! I love a good tourney melee, so I asked for a teeny, tiny little change! The melee tourney will now be done in pairs! My friend Fiona has volunteered to help out a would-be hero!¡± Lucy called out, a flash of mischief in her eyes. She turned so that only Fiona could hear her. ¡°Brother¡¯s placing bets on the biggest hulking menace to win. Think you can take him?¡± She peered over her shoulder, and saw a bald, hulking man with bulging veins on his skin, wearing a lumberjack beard and looking confident as he flexed his meaty finger to the crowd. Fiona grinned. ¡°I¡¯ll do one better. I¡¯ll win it.¡± That itch was getting stronger to find¡­riches in the heart? That was the only feeling she was getting, like there was a flighty soul out there that just needed to find something to treasure. She studied among the contestants and saw an elderly man there, wielding a staff. All the weapons were of the blunt kind, as the intent was to not cause lasting harm. He was not out of shape¨Che held the weapon competently, but this was a young person''s game, requiring speed, and tactical awareness. She pointed from behind Lucy¡¯s shoulder and got her to focus on the man. ¡°Know him, out of curiosity?¡± she whispered in her ear, while the crowd focused on the contestants pairing off, slowly but surely. The muscle head found someone of similar size, and they gripped each other''s hands and shook firmly.This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings. Lucy''s eyes brightened in recognition of the older man Fiona had pointed out. ¡°Oh, I know him! One of the senior guards, who is always accompanying Edward around. My brother kept trying to nudge him to retire, but he didn¡¯t have it in him to force him out. He¡¯s popular with the new people in the palace, and he is very knowledgeable.¡± Lucy answered with a flash of excitement. ¡°Why him?¡± ¡°It¡¯s a¡­¡± Fiona trailed off, that winged heart was gonna take off like a helicopter or start dragging her arm around, the way it was signaling her. What was this strange power, what was wingding trying to say? Someone who¡­lived a long life, but still waiting to find their fortune? Recognition for their talent? Wingding, we gotta work on Morse code for you. Or you need a voice. You''re a hyperactive kid, you know that? One dramatic flap later, Fiona had her answer. She pointed at the guard, and whispered to Lucy. ¡°What¡¯s his name?¡± ¡°Kieran.¡± Fiona didn¡¯t waste a second more, and she nodded to Lucy. ¡°I want him. I didn¡¯t come dressed for a melee, though.¡± ¡°Miss Swiftheart? We have a small provisional armor set up for the melee,¡± one of the festival workers pointed out The crowd was eagerly awaiting the start, while Lucy clapped her hands together. ¡°Princess Lucy, they will be starting in about five or so minutes." ¡°Ah, yes, I¡¯ll grab a seat. Fiona, good luck!¡± she added with a beaming smile, that she returned with equal brilliance. If there was one thing that was going to make her day even better than it already was, it was putting an egg on King Beardless. And that slab of meat he¡¯d been betting on winning the tournament. She found it so unkingly to be placing bets--did Greybeard know this? She''d hold off for now--if there was anything she wanted, it was ammo to use against him, and properly stockpiled. Fiona quickly bounded down to the senior knight, who looked at her in surprise. ¡°You want to partner with me, Miss Swiftheart? This is not like fighting monsters.¡± ¡°Nah, I got this! Plus, my weapon comes in a flavor of humiliation, rather than smashing things to bits!¡± she added as she tapped the haft. ¡°Kieran, right? Let''s get geared up. Safety first and all!¡± ¡°To think I¡¯ve been blessed by a goddess of fortune,¡± he added as he bowed gently. ¡°Me, a goddess? Please, no, I¡¯m just a gal who got good at beating up monsters for coins. But I do make fortunes, in a way!¡± she added with a finger pistol salute. The gesture drew a blank from Kieran, who scratched the back of his head. ¡°I said, I make fortunes?¡± Still no effect. This finger pistol salute was totally nerfed in this world. She needed to get to work on that one! ¡°Alright, the point being, I think I¡¯ve seen you at the palace a couple of times. That''s your weapon of choice?¡± she asked as she pointed to his staff. ¡°It is an elegant weapon, from a more civilized age,¡± he replied stiffly¨Cbut not before giving it a good twirl, and showed excellent form and agility with it, even at his age. ¡°It is light, and better than a saber, a weapon of my previous years.¡± ¡°Good call. Alright, here¡¯s the deal, Kieran. King Beard¨CKing Barry,¡± she corrected hastily, ¡°apparently has been placing some bets. I¡¯d like to gently remind him that¡¯s a no-no, and¨C¡± ¡°You''d like to throw some shade his way, as the young recruits are wont to say?¡± Kieran finished with a glimmer of amusement in his youthful blue eyes. ¡°I¡¯ve entered this tourney every harvest festival. Good as I am, I think my best days are behind me.¡± ¡°Nah. You¡¯ve got one good day left at least, and we¡¯re cashing it in!¡± she affirmed as she clapped his shoulder. A few moments later, they had clad themselves in the light-padded armor that would have been better suited on the recruits for the town guard or some of the rookie adventurers. Fiona remembered it all too well. It was light, but it didn¡¯t encumber movement in any significant way. Kieran also stood ready in a light set, while various paired combatants looked around at the starting area. She eyed the various teams¨Cthirty in total, for sixty men and women. She looked for the most powerful pairings, while the lizardman came back to the stage. He flexed his scales lightly before gripping the relay in his hand, and resumed his smooth-spoken instructions. ¡°Alright, the rules are simple! Teams of two, and only one of you need to be standing at the end for your team to win! Your armors are enchanted to flash three colors: Emerald green, Vermillion Yellow, and Ruby Red. Each of these indicates the ¡®hits¡¯ you have left. Three solid hits against you, and you¡¯re out,¡± the announcer called out, his tail wagging gently. The crowd was now in hushed excitement, though she heard a few people calling out¨Cincluding Bonnie and Darla from the stands. She hadn¡¯t had much of a chance to speak to them, but she told them to trust her on this one. ¡°Kick their butts, girl!¡± Bonnie called out, her witch hat making her stand out from the crowd¨Cand her bright red fur, too. ¡°Your friend is enthusiastic,¡± Kieran demurred as he gripped his staff gently. The announcer continued. ¡°Now, a couple more rules: you may use any abilities that are not classed to cause permanent harm! No setting people on fire, please, I¡¯m not cleaning up bits and pieces, either! Also, no blows to the crown jewels, so to speak, and let¡¯s keep it clean!¡± the announcer finished, as the crowd went wild. ¡°The tourney starts in one minute! Good luck!" Fiona kept seeing the small gold bangle she¡¯d worn for the day shaking...even slightly glowing. She frowned and looked at it closer. It was glowing, and her mark kept trying to flap right off her skin, much to her annoyance. ¡°Oy, how I¡¯m supposed to fight with you being a butterfly?¡± she asked under her breath. ¡°You''re saying I should razzle and dazzle?¡± ¡°Uh, pardon?¡± Kieran asked, and looked at her with a skewed expression. ¡°Oh, what¡¯s our strategy?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll plow a path to the most dangerous guys in the fight. The big, beefy, shirtless guys,¡± she added as she pointed them out. ¡°Hmm. Maybe I¡¯ll only beat up one of them, and then take the other out on a date.¡± ¡°You know, they have a name for you in the palace,¡± Kieran responded with a chuckle. ¡°¡®Fiona the flirt.¡¯¡± ¡°Heh. I can live with that depiction, but I¡¯m still a one-date-at-a-time kind of girl. I¡¯m a merchant now. Now I get to hand out five flirt discounts,¡± she added with a gritted smile. ¡°Show me your moves Kieran! Keep the stragglers off my back, and we''ll plow a way to victory!" ¡°We¡¯re not going to circle the sides?¡± he asked with a roll of his neck, and he cracked the joints. She shook her head. ¡°Nah. Dedicated beatings need to be done in style.¡± The display in the center of the arena, in the form of a few hovering wisps balls of fire-colored yellow, were disappearing in little puffs of red flame. About twenty seconds were left. ¡°Why¡¯s an old timer like you still fighting tourneys?¡± ¡°I promised my girlfriend a long time ago I¡¯d win the harvest festival melee. I didn¡¯t win it, but, the girlfriend saw it in me to make me her husband. Who knew? I¡¯m just keeping the promise on my end, before I keel over from my last winter,¡± he grunted. ¡°I hate getting old. Your mind stays fast, but the rest of your body doesn¡¯t, and I feel aches in my back when it gets cold outside.¡± ¡°Oh, buddy, I sympathize. We¡¯ve got it in us for one last hurrah at least.¡± she waited for the puffballs to dissipate until only one was left. Five seconds left, now. ¡°It¡¯s also adorably sweet, you''re trying to win it for her.¡± ¡°It¡¯s for show, I suppose,¡± he admitted. ¡°I won a long time ago in the heart, you know? Two sons would agree with my sentiment.¡± ¡°Ya know something? Not all riches are in gold,¡± she said with a heartfelt smile, and the staging gate slowly opened. Beyond, she could see the participants¨Cand a more telling figure, high up in the VIP stands. She narrowed her eyes at the beardless wonder peering down at the arena, blonde hair slicked back, and his sister sitting politely beside him, looking enthusiastically at her. Lucy might have given her an opening to throw some shade at Barry, but then she glanced at Kieran, with a wish unfulfilled. Between the two of those things¡­that fluttery feeling in her heart told her that this was more important. ¡°Let¡¯s win this thing, Kieran. Follow my lead!¡± The last puffball went out in a blaze, and the entrants roared into action, and the elf and the veteran charged into the fray, confident smiles on both their faces. Vol. 1, Ch. 43: The Harvest Festival, Part Four The gates swung open, and Fiona clicked her weapon to length and dashed forward with grace and elven agility. She knew the smart thing would be to keep to the edges and skirmish against weaker opponents, but she only had one goal: Win it. And to do that, they needed to do something bold. She saw a pair of two women coming after her, clubs held too high, and their grip all wrong. A couple of impact hits later, they were on their backsides, and their armor was flashing with little red motes¨Cthey had been eliminated. Kieran held the rear, while she dashed across the arena. ¡°Kieran, pair at three o¡¯clock! On me!¡± The wolven and the lizardman were tougher and more seasoned, and strafed for an opening, swinging lightly with their blunt weapons. She twisted and swerved, waiting for an opportunity for them to slip up, and deliberately baited an opening. Wolfy boy went for it and tried to pounce on her. That proved to be a big mistake when she swiveled the hammer in a hard turn to crack him in the jaw, and his armor went from green to red in an instant¨Ca resounding blow that left him shaking his head, like there was a cloud of flies buzzing around him. Kieran was creating space on their flank, as a few opportunists tried to seize an opening. The melee did not stay simple for long. In mere seconds, some of the magically affluent were casting out ice, small heat burst spells, and viscous goo to slow and delay their foes. She was not cool with a gob of green nastiness whizzing past her head, catching her foe off guard, making him recoil in surprise. She took the opening and smacked the lizardman with an opportunistic hit after he overcorrected. A second follow-up blow knocked him into the red, leaving him wheezing on the ground. ¡°Toodles!¡± she called out triumphantly, while barely avoiding a swing by the wolven. He tried to grapple with her, trying to force her out of position, and he needed a bath¨Che smelled like he¡¯d been doing the all-natural thing for too long. With his size, he maneuvered her to pin her movements against the side of the arena. She waited for the right moment for him to try to push her into the arena wall, snapped her weapon away, and sent his weapon to the ground. She sprung up in the air, almost like her winged heart made her lighter than the air. Even though she had a hefty helping of coins still in her pocket, she seemed to be moving faster than anticipated. Kieran came in with a swing of his staff, keeping the wolven wide, and he let out a chuckle. ¡°Damn old man, you¡¯re quick!¡± he complimented with a bit of lightheartedness. ¡°Why thank you, son! Now, watch your feet!¡± Kieran managed to get the young wolven dancing back from a low swipe that almost caught the him off-guard. He stumbled on the gravel, and Fiona took her opportunity and sent him skidding with a hammer blow to the torso that resulted in a dog-like yelp. She almost hated herself for it¨Cwolvens were so cute, like overgrown plushie toys! ¡°Well, you can teach an old wolven new tricks¨C¡± A blow slammed into her from behind that somehow worked its way past Kieran''s interweaving strikes to buy space for the duet. She reacted to the blow and turned--a young man had gotten a lucky hit in, and gold sparks formed off her armor set. But he didn¡¯t get to gloat on hitting the hero of Fiefdala, because she sent him on an express flight to low orbit with her hammer in a reciprocal strike. She still didn''t get how he didn¡¯t become paste when she blasted him off like an acme rocket, because he bounced on the ground a few seconds later, groaning. That had been a careless mistake. She couldn¡¯t afford another. ¡°Mind the flank!¡± Kieran called out, his armor flashing yellow now, as well. A few more foes had fallen prey to his fancy staff work, and she sized up the melee still going on. Her dazzling display had knocked two more out of the tournament. One mage''s armor was flashing red and trying to fire off a hailstone blast¨Cpainful, but not dangerous. A clever idea came to mind as she grabbed a handful of coins, and targeted the foe, trying to line her up. ¡°Coinuken!¡± she called out as she flung the gold coins in a barrage with deft flicks of her wrists. They left her hand at a high speed and impacted like they were riot rounds, hitting the mage in the chest, torso, and one in the face. The warning lights on his armor winked out and he sprawled on the ground, the hail attack melting in his hands and soaking him. ¡°This is not my day,¡± he groaned while rubbing his forehead. ¡°Ow.¡± The other mages were trying to enclose prey tactically, and had put up a defensive barrier of frozen or immobilized participants, all of them trying to roll with the inconvenience of being stuck there. She danced past a few other foes more interested in bashing each other than the hot elf chick, and she made short work of one of the mages with a dizzying strike that left him eating gravel. But the second duo of mages blasted her backward with a telekinetic strike, and she rubbed at her chest and winced. It had not triggered her armor hit detection. Maybe it only detected against a contacting blow? Either way, she had to dodge a few magical staff blasts. She had to give credit, they were fighting very well, for a pairing no more than twenty years old apiece. But they were weak in the power aspect, and she was able to bypass their arcane deflectors with ease; she sent one smashing and skidding into the other, their armor going from flashing yellow, straight to blinking red, indicating they were out. ¡°Miss Swiftheart, I thought they were exaggerating when they said you slew a dragon!¡± Kieran commented with a crooked smile, even as he held off two more that engaged on the flank. He used a dash of sand kicked up by his foot to blind and distract one, while he grabbed the other after he parried a thrust of a club, and punched the man right in the face. ¡°Hey, stop inflicting charisma damage on the guy, that¡¯s his moneymaker!¡± Fiona protested spiritedly. She was getting closer to the bad dudes who had been mopping the floor on their side of the arena, and one of them had a narrow graze on their cheek. She wasn¡¯t sure when that happened, but it must have been pretty recent. Their armor still had bright green wisps hovering over them, and they were more than happy to cover each other''s backs when they took on smaller opponents. They were even stalking the dwindling stragglers. A few others had been clued in on the threat, and two pairs of teams drew together and called out the foes together. ¡°Regarth, you won¡¯t win this year!¡± one of the young men protested, but he was singled out and bashed with one man''s giant mace of choice of his that sent him spinning¨Can instant KO from that weapon.Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator. Welp. One hit from that, and we''re out. We need a solution! A big, bright, bold solution that takes care of the baldy with no hair and skin so bright, you¡¯d swear you were lighting a beacon! Almost as if on cue, her bangle started glimmering with light¨Cnow was the time to clear out the stragglers, and get to the main threat. ¡°Kieran, shield your eyes!¡± she called out as she felt the surge of energy down her arm, into her gold bangle. She held up her free hand to avoid the blindness¨Cmostly. She blinked past the starbursts, and the man that had been behind her was staggering and rubbing his eyes. She didn''t waste the opportunity. Her hammer clipped into his helmet, and sent it flying. That was warning enough for him to dart backward in a tumble, panting and rubbing his eyes. ¡°Have you no sense of honor?¡± The man demanded, an elven, and was rubbing his eyes like they were still bothering him. She pounced on his prone body almost like Tucker would, when he wanted to play with Greg. She heard the man groan beneath her feet. ¡°C¡¯mon lazy bones, you gotta try harder than that!¡± Fiona encouraged him, but the lack of expediency annoyed her. Like her putting boots on his literal backside wasn¡¯t enough incentive?! ¡°Gods, what was that?¡± Kieran gasped. Luckily he wasn¡¯t blinded. ¡°New tricks I learned! I call it ¡®All that glitters is gold¡¯! No wait, ¡®shine bright like a diamond¡¯! Wait, no, I got it, Flash, aaaaah!¡± she grinned. ¡°Man, I need names for these attacks! Now lets deal with the big guys!" She made her way toward the brutes that had dispatched a good third of the teams by themselves, and they were not even hit yet. She was, however, taking in the scene. The brute that was Barry¡¯s favored guy was using little earthen shields of the gravel to absorb blows at the last second¨Creducing blow impact enough that it didn''t score as a solid hit for this tournament. These guys were good, they might be a challenge, but they weren¡¯t as good as her. ¡°Kieran, split and flank!¡± She figured she¡¯d get one good surprise on the big guy, and focused on her bangle, feeling that luster, that brightness shine. ¡°Razzle and dazzle!¡± she called out. She had no idea if she actually needed to say the words to get the effect, but it sure felt cool to say out and she made sure to not blind herself. The guy shielded her eyes, and she swung mightily¨Cbut gravel shifted up from the ground, absorbing the blow. He returned the favor by swinging blindly, and she dodged to the side¨Cright into the waiting blow of the other! She slid and dove to the ground, scraping her legs on the rough ground before landing a hammer blow at his leg, and knocking him off his feet. The motes of light went from green to yellow on his armor, and he was on his feet in an instant while the brute thrust out a column of gravel at her, intending to strike her. She rolled to the side, coming up in a defensive position. She felt the motion before she saw it when her ears twitched in danger. She swerved to avoid the club strike from an opportunistic man, one of the last left standing besides her and the brutes. ¡°Sorry hero, in here, it¡¯s three strikes, you¡¯re¨C¡± He really should have been paying attention, because that column of gravel swiped at him and sent him tumbling, out of the fight. Bits of gravel sprayed all over the place, stinging her skin and pelting off her armor. The bruiser with the beard was no pushover! The clean-shaven man of the pair had just bowled over the last remaining opponent and she heard ribs creak from the impact. They were fighting just a tad too hard for this to be just a competitive sport! ¡°Kieran, change of tactics!¡± She barked out. ¡°Gotta catch the big guy off guard, he¡¯s got a reactive defense!¡± ¡°Timed attack,¡± he grunted in a barely audible manner. He was down to a single hit, with the lights over his armor flashing red. ¡°Let¡¯s take out the smaller guy.¡± ¡°They¡¯re both huge!¡± she countered. But with deft maneuvering, she was able to force his weapon wide, and tried to grab him with a free hand, intending to body-check him into the arena wall. But she grabbed nothing but air! This guy was mercurially quick, and she saw that hammer fist coming. Crack. One minus to using an unarmed strike, with no padding? It really hurt when you punched into solid steel, and she blocked his strike with the head of her hammer. He let out a whimpering sound while still trying to pretend he had not, in fact, probably broken a few bones. She gave him a gentle tap on the nose, and then swung her hammer like it was a croquet mallet. He crashed into the ground, wheezing lightly. ¡°Ow, Finks, take out the crazy hot elf chick, first!¡± he called out, before dragging his now-disqualified and dented body over to the sidelines. She spent a split second too long, because that gravel column snapped into position and came at her like a barrage of rocks. She stumbled between strikes and felt the breeze from the blow, while the man also kept Kieran at bay between swings of his staff. Dual wielding?! How unsportsmanlike. She wished she had a ranged weapon¨Coh wait, she did! Almost by reaction, the coins in her purse felt like they warmed up¨Cas if anticipating her motion. She remembered the knife toss event. She¡¯d been able to fling the daggers with precise aim, and at high speed. She flung the coins at him, but that gravel defense reacted almost instantly, stopping the coins where they clattered to the ground. He even grinned as he picked one up "Sheesh, going right for the money shot, are ya?" he laughed. "Touch¨¦!" she shouted back. He changed tactics and came at her, using his gravel defense to keep Kieran at bay, and she weighed her options. That defense was strong. But it couldn''t be unbeatable! Wait. I have it! I need to head-fake his defense! She should try to combine the effects of her powers, because this guy meant business. But, could she focus it well enough¨C That column of gravel tricked her as it spun like a jump rope, and she was a tad too slow. She was flung to the side and skidded along, bruised and scuffed up. The motes on her armor set flashed red. But Finks, as he was called, was distracted just long enough with that gravel whip to allow Kieran to strike at his head, leaving the man reeling, and with a bunch of yellow motes now floating off his armor. He whipped the gravel lash around at speed, and nearly caught the elder man on the backswing. But Finks was getting tired. Using that ability must be energy-intensive. Kieran knocked some of the gravel aside with a swipe of his staff, and kept whittling away at it. Fiona struggled to rise¨Cthat blow had hurt, even with the armor, and she grabbed the coins out of her pouch and felt that magnetism again as if she could direct it. I have to trick that active defense! Let¡¯s try it like that! Finks changed tactics and kept Kieran distracted with the gravel lashing out almost autonomously, while he charged at her, grinning wickedly. ¡°The heroine of Fiefdala? Don¡¯t make me laugh, sweetie. I might just take you out on a date, if you let me win,¡± he said with a haughty laugh. ¡°Babe, I¡¯m a merchant. Wanna purchase my attention? That¡¯s fifty gold!¡± She pulled out the coins and felt a heated rush through her body, and the coins glowed brightly. ¡°Oh what¡¯s that, you¡¯re trying to cash a thousand?¡± Her taunts had the intended effect, and he tried to bash her with the staff. She dodged nimbly to get some space, while Kieran kept pressure on him from the rear. ¡°You¡¯re the chick who beat Douglas the Red? Pathetic¨C¡± ¡°That¡¯ll be another hundred!¡± she declared, as she dodged another swipe. She was waiting for him to commit to the gravel swing. Eventually, he got annoyed at the taunts, and flung the gravel column at her. She had elven grace for days and landed on top of it, and it supported her weight. She used her opportunity to fling the coins like throwing stars that swerved to avoid his gravel defense in mid-air, hitting him in the chest, torso, and right into his nose, each one impacting and causing the motes to flicker between yellow and red. ¡°And here¡¯s your change!¡± she shouted out, and flung the last fifty gold coin at his head, sending him reeling backward. The motes flashed to red, but he was still up and in the fight. He abruptly pulled the gravel back to his body, and she fell through the air, stumbling on the landing. He brought the column of gravel back down, intending to finish her. She was cooked, she wasn¡¯t getting out of the way in time. Vol. 1, Ch. 44: The Harvest Festival, Part Five Fiona saw the column coming, and knew she couldn¡¯t dodge it this time, and in slow motion, with Barry in the stands looking on gleefully. Dang it, I wanted to put this clown in his place, this sucks¨C Kieran appeared in a blast of smoke, using whatever strange ability he had been keeping hidden to try to grab her out of the way. But the ability sapped whatever stamina he had, and the column of gravel impacted him, spraying bits of rocks, and he sprawled over. ¡°Ow, damn arthritis,¡± he grumbled. ¡°Dang it Kieran, you were supposed to be the one to win it!¡± Fiona hopped to her feet, pulling her hammer back out and deflecting the column of rocks away, and whittling away at Finks ammo of rocks. Finks at least had the grace to not swipe at Kieran again and was swinging his staff and whip in a rain of blows that she dodged, deflected, or otherwise leaped over in a burst of daring agility. She was panting, this guy was making her work for this victory, for once! And that thrill of combat was a rush she was almost giddy about. My place isn''t supposed to be running a store, it¡¯s supposed to be running a battlefield¨Cno, bad mentality! She shook her head to clear that intrusive thought away, and reached into her coin pouch. Only a few remained, and Finks paused, weapons ready as if daring her to attack. He flexed his shoulders and smiled. ¡°Neat tricks. How¡¯d a merchant like you get this far in life?¡± he sneered. ¡°Baby, buy me dinner, and I might tell ya,¡± she said in a teasing tone. Even though this guy was working for Beardless to ruin everyone else''s fun, she couldn¡¯t help but applaud his skill. ¡°One hit apiece, winner takes all. Let''s make it a good match, yeah?¡± ¡°Oh, I want to win. Putting on a good show is a bonus,¡± he added with a flex of his arm and a confident grin. ¡°Now I get why the dragon had problems with ya, you¡¯re tough to hit!¡± ¡°Eh, a little rusty,¡± she added with a shrug. ¡°Cool trick with the gravel. Telekinesis?¡± ¡°Geomancy,¡± he grunted, and waved the gravel into the air in a small figure-eight pattern. ¡°And a little bit of telekinetics. Did a stint with the adventurers guild a while back, but my talents were appreciated over at the quarry up in the mountains. Made good money.¡± ¡°So, why the melee?¡± she asked, trying to figure a way past that annoying defense. She could just smash past it, but she needed an impact blow beyond what even she was capable of. That gold of hers was vibrating on her hip again. She reached out to it, and grabbed one coin, and kept her eye on Finks. The metal felt soft to the touch, and she glanced at her weapon head. Her mark kept fluttering, as if trying to nudge her. Wingding, what¡¯re you telling me? I can magically alter gold another way, maybe? She pondered this for a second. Wait. Gold¡¯s super heavy. I wonder¡­ She flexed her hand, and tried to will that strange magnetism to wrap around the coin itself. The coin vibrated¨Cand then the metal started turning warm in her hand, and almost¡­liquified? It was shimmering and almost like quicksilver, and she wiped it on the head of her hammer, where it instantly solidified into a gold sheen over the head, and glowed. Finks frowned at this new development. ¡°Oh, I heard about you. You became a merchant recently, huh? What¡¯s that fancy ability?¡± ¡°I call it my ¡®Midas Touch¡¯ ability,¡± She announced with a leering smile, and pulled out all the coins from her pouch, and repeated the process. But Finks wasn''t¡¯ going to wait to find out what she had planned, because the staff and that whip of gravel lashed out, impacted where she¡¯d leaped back from a split second before. But she had bought herself enough time to coat that weapon in a golden luster, and it almost seemed to ring like someone was rubbing their finger across a crystal glass. The head of the weapon glowed even brighter, and she gave it a test swing at the column of gravel. The impact was substantial. Bits of rock pinged from the mighty blow, showering the arena with little bits of detritus. She hefted the weapon in both hands, feeling light on her feet and confident. Sacrificing gold for enhancement? Oh, yes, please! More concerning was figuring out how to transfix them back into coins afterward, but that wasn¡¯t a ¡®now¡¯ problem. Finks came at her with a timed salvo of strikes from his magical rock whip, and lashing out with his staff. His face wasn¡¯t edged with fury. It was edged with confidence, and maybe even a little bit of respect. ¡°Well, well. Little elf girl does have some magical tricks. Don¡¯t feel bad about losing, I¡¯ve gotten pretty good at getting to the top three every tournament.¡± He swung the column, and she smashed more rocks away. He kept at it, trying to score a hit, but she kept deflecting it, the gold flaring a brilliant golden color with each strike, and she struck his staff¨Cand shattered it into little wooden matchsticks! She didn¡¯t waste the opportunity and launched her backswing. There wasn¡¯t enough of that rock to cushion the blow, and she sent him skyward with the blow, and he landed flat on his back, the bits of rocks now raining onto the ground. She twitched when a rock landed on her shoulder, and looked on with confidence as the motes winked red on Finks¡¯ armor. ¡°We have a winner!¡± The announcer called out from the stands, and Fiona almost forgot there was a crowd of thousands looking on, and cheering at her. She walked over to Finks, who tilted his head up from his prone angle, and looked miserable. ¡°Fiona Swiftheart has captured the melee victory¨Cand our hearts if I must say! Bravo to her and Sir Kieran, of His Majesty''s guard Corp!¡± Fiona stood before fallen foe, and put the gold-covered hammer into her holster before leaning down and gripping the massive man''s hand firmly, and hoisting him up to his feet., smiling faintly. ¡°Wow. I might have actually had a challenge there, big guy. Well played!¡± ¡°Your prowess is not to be underestimated, Miss Swiftheart,¡± he responded in a nod of respect. He waved over to the elder guard, waiting with the rest of the other entrants by the side. ¡°Might want to call over your buddy.¡±Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings. "Kieran, come on over!¡± she called out to the elder guard, who was walking with a slight limp. She took his hand up in congratulations, and the crowd went wild. ¡°Well Kieran, guess the wife will be quite proud of the accomplishment. You did pretty good there,¡± she told him confidently, and he smiled even as he rubbed at his back with one hand. ¡°It''s proof that the old man can keep up with the young ones. Those are some interesting class abilities,¡± Kieran commented, and also took the moment to shake Finks hand firmly. ¡°Finks, was it? Whatcha do for a living?¡± ¡°Smash rocks into smaller rocks, and some recreational fighting. I get paid better for smashing rocks,¡± he added with a small smile. ¡°Looks like I¡¯m eating crow, Miss Swiftheart. If I heard right, someone was betting on me winning. Wouldn¡¯t know anything about it, cuz I did this for fun. Might be, their name rhymes with Mary,¡± he added with a haggard grin. ¡°Trying to buy my favor, big guy?¡± she retorted casually. ¡°Hah. Nah, you learn a lot about a person by engaging in sports with them,¡± he answered. ¡°Well, at any rate, good fight. Looks like I gotta step up my game. And someone doesn¡¯t appear very happy up in the lofty heights, either.¡± She followed his gaze at the crowd. Fiona¡¯s eyes tracked up to Barry, looking like the ugliest bird of prey up on his high perch, and his brow was twitching. He was not happy about this slight, and she made sure to send him a knowing smile. He responded by doing a slow, exaggerated clap. I¡¯m gonna get you for this, was the intent she was getting. And he knew he couldn''t, because his dad would know if he stooped to underhanded tactics. Stranger still, just like that blonde tramp next to him, her little mark was giving the impression of a heart filled with lead. This guy had all the privilege in the world, and still hadn¡¯t found happiness? Or, that¡¯s the gut feeling she got from this strange weight of hearts. Wait, I¡¯ve got it. The Weight of Hearts. Oh, that is a snazzy ability name! I¡¯m keeping it, you loveable Wingding! She thought to her mark¨Cthat is, if such a thing were possible. Lucy was already bounding down the steps, to meet her in the arena grounds, beaming with excitement. Bonnie and the others also made their way down, looking as cheery as ever, and came over to congratulate her. Bonnie was amazed, and super clingy¨Cshe must have thought she could face some serious harm in the arena, and she wasn¡¯t wrong. A few of the contestants were in obvious distress, a few held limp limbs, and the mages on standby were already at work. ¡°Man Fi, if I hadn¡¯t seen you in action enough times already, I would have been sweating beads! Kitsune do that, they sweat, it¡¯s kinda gross,¡± she added with a chuckle, and made way for Lucy and Darla to get in on the group hug. ¡°Hey, I was here first, stop stealing the ginger cookie away!¡± Bonnie protested. ¡°Oh, I guess you do like sweet, and spicy,¡± Darla responded with a wicked grin, and Greg also gave Fiona a congratulatory hug as well, once the crowd was cleared. Darla pointed to Lucy, looking slightly intrigued. ¡°So what¡¯s the commotion, Miss Princess? You miss me between the weekly visits to my shop, incognito?¡± Darla commented with a nudge at Lucy, who looks a little flushed. ¡°W-well, it¡¯s hard to find good coffee anywhere else. Also, keep it on the down low, like my dad,¡± she added with a gentle wave of her hand. ¡°Fiona, great fighting! When you guys are done here at the festival today, can you meet me at my apartment in the evening? It¡¯s away from the palace, nice and quiet.¡± ¡°Are you inviting all of us? Shall I inquire if this is business, or personal?¡± Greg asked with a raised eyebrow. ¡°The answer to that one comes later,¡± Lucy added while gently tapping her finger on his nose. He wrinkled his nose in response, but otherwise didn¡¯t break his expression. ¡°Sorry, sorry, I¡¯ll clear out of here, good melee, everyone! The fighting spirit of Fiefdala, and all its talent, was on full display today, and I look forward to next year!¡± Fiona wanted to say something, but paused. She still didn¡¯t know the angle, but her attention wasn¡¯t on the announcer calling her out, and Kieran. One of his sons, a young man with green eyes and messy brown hair, accompanied his father and scolded him. ¡°Dad, you could''ve gotten hurt, Mom¡¯s gonna kill you when she gets a hold of you!¡± he spoke sternly to his father, who let out a soft laugh. ¡°I''m serious dad, you don¡¯t have anything to prove to anyone!¡± ¡°Ah, son, a man keeps his promises. As do fiery-haired elven,¡± Kieran said, as the announcer called for them again. ¡°Well, this is us, shall we?¡± A moment later, they were on the stage, with the lizardman making a congratulatory remark. ¡°Now, as is tradition, the prize pool got quite a bit bigger this year. Guess everyone was curious to see the Champion of Fiefdala show up!¡± he added as he extended a broad hand to her, then Kieran. ¡°And old master, you have many winters behind you, but you fight with cunning! Covered your teammate to avoid a disqualifying blow!¡± ¡°It is what I have instilled in many a competent warrior. Our strength in our country is not in the individual strength of one, but of the support and care of many,¡± he announced to the crowd, via the relay. Man, I need to up my speech skills, this guy gets it! Fiona noted with intrigue. She should say something to the crowd to inspire them. ¡°Uh, Same deal, I uh¨CI didn¡¯t have a speech. But uh, I love the festival, and the snacks, and the fact that there¡¯s so much culture and talent on display!¡± Fiona almost stumbled on her opening, but quickly recovered. She found firm footing in realizing this tourney, and the festival was a window into the very heart of Fiefdala itself. A place that was now, to her, a home. ¡°Anyway, Sir Kieran had it right. The strength of a nation comes from its individuals, working toward something greater than themselves. Which is why I¡¯d like to donate the winnings to the outskirts of Fiefdala, for those impacted by the skirmish with Douglas the Red, to help them rebuild.¡± The announcer looked on in surprise, but Kieran wore that quiet smile of his, and despite the age on his face, youth still sat in his eyes. ¡°I¡¯ve got no objections to that. It¡¯ll go to good use. Harenfield was hard hit, and I propose they start there, to get builder teams out to repair the structures.¡± ¡°Hear, hear!¡± Lucy called out proudly. ¡°The generosity of the winners of the tourney should not be underestimated! Just uh, stop by her store and take a gander. She¡¯s gotta earn a living too,¡± she said with a shrewd nudge to Fiona. That burning, tingling feeling in her cheeks was back, and she wished her face would stop doing that! ¡°Now, I believe I have a date with a pie, I¡¯ll catch you all in a bit!¡± Lucy called out to the crowd, and they slowly dispersed back to the stands, where another event was due to take place in a little while. ¡°Well Fi, always making a splash, are ya?¡± Greg asked a little while later. The sun was a golden and slowly turning into an orange orb on the horizon now, and painting everything with a healthy glow of autumn light. ¡°I swore, Barry was going to have a stroke.¡± ¡°If he does, just remember we can¡¯t do worse than him,¡± Fiona growled under her breath. Greg cleared his throat loudly, as if suppressing a chuckle. ¡°Any idea of what Lucy is up to?¡± ¡°Not a clue,¡± Bonnie shrugged while walking beside her, as they headed back to take a look at some of the merchant stands. ¡°I can¡¯t believe you donated all that money.¡± ¡°Bah, the look on Barry¡¯s face was worth it, and I¡¯m sure I made Lucy feel all melty on the inside,¡± she added with a sly smile. ¡°Besides, we¡¯re doing alright.¡± ¡°For now,¡± Greg commented, a look of concern etched on his face, the way he scrunched his eyes. ¡°I¡¯ve been running the numbers, and¨Cyou know what, doesn¡¯t matter. I might be just overly conservative in my estimates. What did our champion want to check out next?¡± "Me? Oh, I have no idea. What do you guys check out every year?¡± Fiona asked. "Hang on. I wanna see crafts!" "An eye for finer things? Oh, this should be good," Greg replied with his contented smile. Vol. 1, Ch. 45: The Harvest Festival, Part Six Fiona didn¡¯t have to wait long for a response, as Darla pointed to a tent where several baubles were on display, and a young woman was working on hand carvings from a supple pile of wood. ¡°I buy one of her little carvings every year. I love her talent.¡± The woman in question, a dark-haired girl with bright red cheeks, seemed to move with an unnatural alacrity, whittling away to make a carving of a small wooden doll. Her current client was a young kitsune girl with dark brown fur and blue eyes, looking on in excitement. The crafter finished the job by dressing it in a small pile of doll-sized clothes, and the girl clutched the prize while her mother smiled and handed a few silvers to the woman. ¡°Aw, that¡¯s awesome. I want one! Better wood than cloth though, Tucker might try to use it as a chew toy. That booger has teeth like a steel trap,¡± Fiona added with a contented sigh. Watching the woman work as she prepared one for Darla was just as impressive: each doll was unique, and the grains of each were unique, and she carved them in different poses. Her hands were almost a blur, and she handed the finished doll to Darla, who nodded and gave her a healthy helping of silver coins. ¡°How many is that, Darla?¡± The woman called out. Darla shrugged and counted her fingers. ¡°Eh, Seven? It¡¯s like a tradition for me now, Tessa. Our new girl Fiona is still learning stuff, she¡¯s new around here,¡± she replied, while casually waving to her. ¡°Hah! This cutie here?¡± Tessa laughed, and extended a hand to greet Fiona. ¡°Well goodness be, are you a sight! You¡¯re the woman that forced the surrender of that nasty dragon?¡± ¡°Hey, I wasn¡¯t soloing that army myself, the adventurers guild was there. Anyway, think you could make one for me?¡± Fiona asked politely. ¡°Right away!¡± she beamed, and her hands went to work, chipping and trimming gently. Fiona could barely keep up with the hand motions, and Tessa effortlessly worked on the craft, the rough edges giving way to a smoothed shape that looked a bit different than the others crafted shapes. Shorter, with stubby horns? What was she crafting? "That''s incredible how fast you work with that," Fiona breathed, fascinated by this demonstration. Tessa continued to work even as spoke merrily, never interrupting the trimming or refining of the details. ¡°Funny how this craft works with my class. People ask for a doll, and I just know what to cut and shape. Lots of kids end up with animals, or dolls, a few with dragons. Sometimes family member caricatures. Not all dragons are bad, far from it! But Douglas ...never had a reputation, before this. He was even a trade partner, before he got ambitious, I guess.¡± ¡°You know it¡¯s funny you say that, that guy seemed to not be very mean. Vain, maybe, but uh¡­he didn¡¯t strike me as some tyrannical overlord,¡± Fiona admitted. ¡°I dunno, he complained about something being stolen from him, and he was taking it back, and he said, the Kingdom were the aggressors first! He wasn¡¯t in a talking mood after I started giving him forty whacks with my hammer, and I wasn¡¯t in a kind and listening mood, after he tried to make me into a flamb¨¦ elf." "I''m convinced you''re immortal," Greg stated dryly. She wasn''t sure if he was joking or not. "Honestly, the guy wasn¡¯t putting his heart into it. I took his stuff and this wicked black crystal scepter from him, and told him that if I ever heard he was being mean to people again, I¡¯d turn him into an armor set!¡± Fiona said proudly while thumping her chest. ¡°He got so scared when I said that, too!¡± ¡°Probably because he believed you¡¯d follow through,¡± Greg commented with a crease of his lip that disappeared quickly when she turned to look at him directly. After a few minutes, Tessa was finished, and handed the completed doll to her, dressed in a vest, and leggings of¡­ She stopped, and pondered on this strange relief. ¡°Tessa, why a kobold?¡± she asked with a raised eyebrow. ¡°I mean, it¡¯s cute and all¡­¡± ¡°Ah, sometimes, you just let the magic guide you,¡± she answered softly, with a glint of amusement in her eyes. ¡°Do you ever feel the urge of your magic? To just follow your heart?¡± ¡°I uh¨C¡± she trailed off, and frowned, still pondering this figure in her hand. If she shrunk Doug the dragon down in scale and gave him stubby wings, he¡¯d almost look like this, she figured. Which was a rather odd thought to her. She glanced down at that doll, then at Tessa, wearing a contented smile. She thought back to her own strange experiences, ever since she¡¯d gotten her merchant license. And the class associated with it. Was Wingding trying to tell her something? What are you, Wingding? Maybe I had it right the first time, you''re a living mark. But, where did you come from? She thought as she glanced at her class mark. With fortuitous timing, she glanced up and saw Kieran with his wife, who was scolding him before giving him a loving hug in the background, along with his two sons who wore expressions of absolute joy. He took note of her and waved politely. For some reason, that tingle of energy was back and arcing up her arm. No riches traded hands¨Cbut, it felt like something was gained. Tessa followed her gaze and smiled. ¡°Is your mark telling you something?" she asked thoughtfully. ¡°I¡¯ve seen that gaze with people who just had a trip to visit an Administrator.¡± ¡°Uh, nah, my hands just cramped a little from the impromptu melee,¡± she deflected softly. ¡°But, I get that. Sometimes, you gotta go with your gut instinct on things. Even when your brain tells you the smart move.¡±The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement. ¡°Spoken like one who recognizes, but not necessarily understands,¡± Tessa commented with a respectful nod. ¡°I find that when I let the magic guide me¡­I tend to make a totem that is important to the person I make it for. Even if neither you nor I understand the significance at first.¡± ¡°So I should keep an eye out for a short, anxious-looking kobold?¡± she asked. ¡°Or just someone short of stature, but filled with a heart of bravery,¡± Tessa added with a chuckle. ¡°What about you, Darla?¡± ¡°Oh, I¡¯ve seen your magic at work dear,¡± Darla replied with her tail gently wagging back and forth slowly. ¡°So, what do you think, Fiona?" "It''s...incredible." She did find that a lot of love and care went into this little idol. Maybe she''d figure out the importance, later, and she pulled out some extra coins from her pouch. "Here, a little extra for ya, and thank you so much!¡± Fiona responded and placed several gold coins into Tessa¡¯s hand, who nodded politely. But the motion caused Fiona to do a double take, and looked down at her coin pouch. Which was now, almost full again, minus the coins that were still melty and affixed to her hammer. Wait. wasn¡¯t this empty? These are the same count of coins I tossed! There¡¯s even one with jelly stains from my donut this morning! ¡°Uh, Fi, you okay?¡± Bonnie asked after a second. ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m fine, trying to make sure there isn¡¯t a hole in my pocketbook,¡± she responded with a laugh. ¡°Remind me, I flung a whole bunch of coins at Baldy McBeard-face, right?¡± ¡°You did. I don¡¯t remember you picking them up.¡± Bonnie peered at her coin purse, when she showed it to her, and her shining eyes went wide. ¡°Well, that is a handy power.¡± ¡°See? Sometimes, the magic has instincts of its own,¡± Tessa smiled. ¡°It¡¯s getting close to sundown, you guys staying for the fireworks?¡± ¡°We do have a prior arrangement,¡± Greg said persuasively. ¡°But, thank you, Tessa.¡± ¡°Thank you so much!¡± Fiona called out cheerily, and pocketed the carved kobold in her purse. She still was wondering about the significance of it. Was it a love interest? Someone she was supposed to help out, a future friend, maybe? Or, less likely, a play friend for Tucker? Wait, no, Tucker might try to eat the kobold, that wouldn¡¯t work out well at all. As they departed, Fiona thought about the strange events of the day. It certainly felt like there was more than a subtle set of hints she¡¯d found along the way. But she was just a merchant, now. She wasn¡¯t destined for greatness, was she? She¡¯d hung that up with her armor, and replaced it with a cute vest and tie...hadn''t she? She hoped she had. ¡°You know what guys, this was a lot of fun! I love festivals, we totally have to do this next year!¡± Fiona declared, one arm wrapped around Bonnie and Greg. Darla had to suffice with a tail breezing by her back. ¡°Hmm, the day¡¯s not over yet, we¡¯ll have to see what our princess is indeed up to,¡± Greg mused. ¡°It never stays dull around here with you around, Fiona.¡± The shadows from the trees grew longer, and the sun dipped down past the hills to the west, bathing the world in crimsons and purples. Puffy clouds above were painted in shades of beauty, and contrasted against an increasingly darkened sky. Little arcane lights winked into existence on small wire posts across the festival grounds, and little children chased around glowing firebugs that danced through the unseasonably warm fall day. Fiona and her friends wrapped up their visit to a vendor that was selling sweet rolls¨Cand Fiona half expected some guard to ask her if hers went missing. The crowd had thinned a bit through the late afternoon, and the jubilant cheers from the events on the field filtered down here, though more muted. Families started walking back to the city gate, where arcane lights adorned the short trail, and steam wagons slowly made their way back to the safety and coziness of stone walls and fairytale architecture. Fiona found herself gazing at all of this, and pondering how she¡¯d missed this, all her life. ¡°You know what the weird part is?¡± she asked a short time later. Darla had somehow procured a cup of coffee for each of them¨Cwhere did she stash that, indeed? And it was still hot, and carried notes of hazelnut! ¡°Even from a bazillion miles away, I find it incredible that some stuff is universal. It¡¯s like someone took the bits of earth, and a bunch of other places, and stitched them all together, here, in this one world. And somehow, they got it to work.¡± ¡°Oh, it may appear picturesque, but the kingdom of forty years ago, before Greybeard took the throne, was not so enlightened,¡± Greg said with his usual calm tone, and took a gentle sip from his mug. Bonnie was leaning on, smiling contentedly, and even more so when he pretended she wasn¡¯t there. ¡°There was a lot of strife here, before the Unified Kingdoms joined. There were wars. Terrible ones. This age we¡¯ve had in the last twenty, twenty-five years? Its been hard-earned. Greybeard laying waste to Vale, back then? It was a turning point. ¡°That wasn''t the only conflict, either," Bonnie interjected. "The desert kingdom wanted more fertile land, to the far west, and their slave trade was known the people in the western expanse weren¡¯t so keen on conquest. A lot became deserters and refugees. And the Saviri kingdom lost badly. But not without putting up a good fight with steam machines and mechanical arms. Greybeard was merciful in not wanting to march right across the desert to raze what was left of their population off the map.¡± ¡°Greybeard is, historically, exceedingly even-tempered and adept at rule, and divested power to the larger counsel as an appeasement from his fathers¡¯ rule,¡± Greg continued. Fiona listened in, attentively. ¡°Lucy and the other siblings saw the tail end of that conflict. I think his even-handedness comes from his children, and wanting a better kingdom not just for them, but for everyone. Which is why it surprised me when he retired, and put Barry temporarily in charge. He¡¯s still technically King, but¡­¡± ¡°He¡¯s on a short leash, so he can only get away with so much. And maybe, his father is trying to judge what kind of king he¡¯ll be, like what we¡¯re putting our dear Kali through,¡± Darla said, golden orbs flickering with interest at her peers. ¡°Seriously, I can¡¯t believe Kali didn¡¯t become roast chicken, with Fiona around.¡± ¡°Heeeey, I¡¯m not that aggressive!¡± she protested. ¡°Besides, he¡¯s got talent. He just needs to be nudged to be smarter about how he uses it. Anyway, we should meet Lucy at her apartment. I guess we¡¯re gonna be in for some kind of surprise. I also think she''s been planning it for a little bit. She didn¡¯t ¡®just show up¡¯ at the festival by coincidence.¡± ¡°Lucy takes after her dad, but has a mischievous streak,¡± Darla said while rubbing at her cheek gently. Fiona can sense it, they have a connection of some kind. ¡°Oh, is she a tryst of yours?¡± Fiona leaned in with a wicked smile, watching her sharp-toothed friend laugh heartily at that suggestion. ¡°Nope! She might be more your type, Fi, to be honest. Nah, she just loves dropping by the shop once a week, never the same time twice, to get away from the palace intrigue crap. She suggested I start offering tea, but I don¡¯t have a good supplier for that,¡± she added with a frown. ¡°Anyway, she just tosses gossip with me for a bit, leaves after a while, and has maybe one palace guard with her, dressed in civilian wear. She¡¯s pretty good about blending in, when she needs to. But I haven¡¯t heard a word from her about you, or the shop. So, I think this is something new.¡± ¡°Guess we¡¯re going to find out,¡± Fiona said as she tipped back the rest of her coffee. She glanced at the autumn twilight, and wondered what other wonders and surprises awaited her, in this new world. She tended to agree with Greg: whatever it was, it wasn¡¯t going to be dull. Vol. 1, Ch. 46: Contractually Binding ¡°I love granny¡¯s apartment, because it¡¯s small and cozy. But this? This feels like the way I should live, once I¡¯ve got more than a splash of cash.¡± Fiona was in awe of Lucy''s apartment located at the upper end of town, with one of the moons lighting the way. They weren¡¯t in a hurry, and Lucy had sent a relay to Fiona to let them know she was home. And a rather telling statement.
F: are you going to tell me what this is about? You haven''t called. I don''t blame you for your brother''s utterly idiotic attempt to bully a dragon. And I don''t mean Douglas. L: Fi, I''m being obscure for a reason. I know what my brother did was beyond low, and I wanted to strangle him when I first heard. I am sorry you got mixed in this. I thought you''d blame me. F: I''m not the only person he pissed off, Lucy. He''s lucky Greg got me see reason, or I''d have burned down the palace for the insult of stiffing the guild, and making our sacrifices seem meaningless. L: Would you have? F: Not before I evacuated the snacks. And the staff. Especially Ellie. She makes a really good cream puff treat. Your dad isn''t off the hook, either. L: Welcome to my dysfunctional family.
Dysfunctional is the right word, Fiona thought with an irritated click of her arcane relay. There wasn¡¯t much security, except for a plain-clothes crown guard leaning in discreetly at the front door, when they knocked. ¡°Miss Swiftheart? You and your friends are expected. Any weapons you¡¯re carrying?¡± ¡°My hammer,¡± Fiona said while showing the haft of the morphic weapon to him, and offered it to him. ¡°I have my wand, but it''s for enchanting, not harming,¡± Bonnie also offered. ¡°It¡¯s my job to be cautious. The king has enemies, meaning his kids can get targeted,¡± the rugged, dark-haired man said stiffly, and placed the items away in a lockbox, along with a card for retrieval. He scanned them with a small steel wand, and looked at his relay briefly when it flashed green. ¡°Upstairs, there¡¯s the main door. Head on in. There¡¯s a couple of other guys milling about, don''t mind them.¡± The walk up into the building with a wide stairwell, and lightly textured walls was cozy. There were paintings of some of the local flora¨Cand one of a small, fluffy creature that looked like someone mixed a unicorn with a koala bear, with sharp horns and a slothful appearance. Arcane lights lit one side, and clear windows showed a small plaza off to the side. Fiona hesitated at the landing, while Greg raised an eyebrow. ¡°What if this is bad news?¡± she asked. ¡°Fiona, I don¡¯t think she¡¯d have you throw an egg at her brother¡¯s face, and not have some way to shield you from it. Barry could still present problems if he has some yet-to-be-determined grudge against you.¡± ¡°He hates that I¡¯m successful. Which puts him in the S-tier ranks of total douchebags,¡± she added with a growl. ¡°Remember. Be cool! Everyone be cool, like little Fonzies!¡± ¡°What¡¯s a Fonzie?¡± Darla asked, rubbing at a short horn anxiously. ¡°Uh, it¡¯s a cultural thing. Point is, we''re all gonna be cool!¡± she declared, and knocked softly. The response was instant, and the plain-clothes crown guard, a young woman with pleated black hair and green eyes, opened the door. ¡°Oh hello there! You must be Fiona! Are these your¡­employees?¡± she asked, as if unsure to finish the statement. Greg took the cue on that one. ¡°We have entered into a business partnership between the four of us, licensed under Fiona and Friends Emporium. I believe we are expected.¡± ¡°Ah, right! Come on in, Lucy¡¯s inside, waiting for ya!¡± she added. Fiona admired her enthusiasm. Sitting around guarding one person must be a boring job, most of the time. The woman had a pretty chipper attitude for what should be utterly boring. The apartment wasn¡¯t lavish. It was, surprisingly, quite cozy. The flooring was dark hardwood with soft accent carpets by the table set in the center of the living room, and a small fireplace was going, though she spotted a steam radiator accenting the walls. The mix of tech and magic was so strange in this world. There was also a corner set side for a few bookcases that hugged a corner of the adjacent room, along with a few reading chairs. Lucy sat there on the couch and rose to greet them. ¡°Hi guys, thanks for coming on short notice!¡± she greeted them in turn, her silky hair bouncing lightly. ¡°Oh, please, sit down. Helga, did I set down the snacks in the kitchen?¡± ¡°Coming, dear!¡± A voice called out from the adjacent kitchen. Fiona¡¯s nose was going, and she could smell bacon. Or, whatever they called that sweet cured meat that came off the massive hogs that ate pretty much everything on the outskirts of the city, and were a pest upon many of the farmer¡¯s crops. A slightly curvy brunette with soft brown eyes, but not lacking finesse, and dressed in an apron and a simple dress shirt and pants walked in, balancing a tray of snacks, and her ears perked up. As did Bonnie''s, because her nose was going. ¡°Bribing us with food?¡± Bonnie called out with a smirk, claws on her hips. ¡°It¡¯s like you know me and Fi¡¯s weakness. Snack queen here can¡¯t be left alone with anything that comes on a small plate.¡± ¡°Hey, I work for it! I eat healthy, well, kinda!¡± she pushed back, as Helga set down the tray of bacon-wrapped scallops. ¡°Hey, the sea is hundreds of miles away. How¡¯d you get scallops?¡± she questioned. Lucy took one in hand and sounded quite content when she tried it. ¡°There¡¯s some freshwater scallops in the lake, strangely. Dad made a big effort a few years ago to ensure people didn¡¯t overfish the area, so there are seasons where they¡¯re allowed to regrow. Anyway, I¡¯m sorry, this is my assistant, Hilda, she lives with me here at the apartment. Sort of a home away from home, I get tired of dealing with the palace intrigue,¡± she sighed.Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings. Fiona took the initiative to sit down with a small plate of the tasty little treats and had to admit, the savory flavor of the bacon complimented the soft, sweet, lightly salted flavor of the scallops quite well. ¡°Darling, anyone who makes food this well, you should marry them,¡± she said with a teasing laugh. She wasn¡¯t a hundred percent sure, but she thought Lucy gave off that vibe, in a way. Judging by that shy smile that she returned, and the way she fidgeted with her hair, that number might go up in the future. ¡°Anyway, thanks for the invite. We had a pretty fun day at the festival. So, laying it out there, you get the situation I¡¯m in, right?¡± ¡°You mean how my idiot brother hosed you? Yeah, when I got word on that, Dad got an earful, and he was not happy, and your call a few days was followed by a very loud, very profane call from my dad to Barry. And now, Dad is pissed off at Barry, and keeping a keen eye on him with every pair of eyes he¡¯s got in the palace,¡± Lucy explained, and glanced curiously at Darla. ¡°So Darla, how¡¯d you join this crew?¡± ¡°I saw an opportunity, and people I like. Still testing the waters on it, but, it looks like business acumen paid off,¡± Darla replied while twirling her hair around her finger, and examining Lucy with a sharper smile than usual. ¡°Guessing that you called us here for a reason?¡± ¡°As did we all,¡± Greg said pointedly, and Bonnie nodded along. ¡°So, Princess Lucy¨C¡± ¡°Just Lucy here, oh my goodness, the honorifics, they get old so fast!¡± she groaned and made a gesture of exasperation. ¡°So, I wanted to thank you guys, you made an impact on the boardwalk over by the lakeside! I heard a lot of people like your shop.¡± ¡°We¡¯re just selling the easier-to-move items. Big items are going to be tougher,¡± Fiona said with a motion for settling down. ¡°But, we are lining up a working relationship with the adventurers guild. There are senior members there who stand to be well-equipped with some of the items we recovered from Douglas. And there¡¯s some intriguing items we keep in the back, too.¡± ¡°You mean the ones that all the young kids stare at, and then get smacked by their parents, despite the cordon?¡± Greg asked dryly, with a raised eyebrow. ¡°It¡¯s art, Greg. Though, I question why Doug had it. I guess different species, same favored flavors,¡± she added with a shrug. Bonnie was trying not to laugh, and Darla twirled her tail tip around her finger, looking amused. Greg gave her the stern look again, like he had to be the guy to keep them on track, and she relented. ¡°Alright Lucy, lay it on us. I loved watching Barry squirm when his little side bet failed, but that guy was alright. He wasn¡¯t in on it, either, but he knew your brother was trying to fix a bet.¡± ¡°Yes, my brother, being the idiot he is, placed a huge bet on that man to win. And then paid other people to lose,¡± she added with a huff. Fiona raised an eyebrow at this. ¡°I hear things. My brother might run the place, but he¡¯s not the favored kid there. And that blonde tramp has got him wrapped around her finger. That woman will be the queen. And she¡¯s up to nasty things.¡± ¡°Bonnie, you mentioned she was unsavory,¡± Fiona asked with a snap of her fingers. ¡°Care to elaborate?¡± ¡°Her class is one of¡­a subterfuge nature,¡± she said hesitantly. ¡°She¡¯s an intelligence gatherer. Not a spy, but an investigator. And I think that trade deal that Barry wanted you to go negotiate before you told him to pound sand, had something to do with it.¡± ¡°She¡¯s¡­of the nation, isn¡¯t she?¡± Fiona asked uneasily. ¡°She is, but she¡¯s got loftier ambitions than being a court mage, or Beardless¡¯s puppet,¡± Bonnie added with a roll of her eyes. ¡°Lucy, be real with us, how worried are you?¡± ¡°Worried enough that I think she has already influenced my father. She''s been in that palace for a few months, in and out, right after she left the academy under rather suspicious circumstances. Also, she made fun of my sister and was mean to her, which means she¡¯s totally dead to me,¡± Lucy said with a spark of fire in her eyes. ¡°Fiona, look, you were like one of the few cool people to come into the palace, and you didn¡¯t treat me like a porcelain doll. And I know Jacob spoke highly of you.¡± ¡°I sense there¡¯s going to be a pretty big ask here,¡± Greg sighed. ¡°Which means, you wouldn¡¯t ask if you did not think it was necessary.¡± ¡°Alright. Straight to the point. Everyone in this room is sworn to secrecy, until I tell you to break it, alright?¡± Lucy insisted, and pressed her hands together gently. ¡°My brother is going to get married to that bitch in about nine months. He has kept this very close to the chest, and only a few staff who keep tight lips know about this one. And me,¡± she added slyly. ¡°Fiona, I want you to take him up on his offer to negotiate this trade deal. And find out why he''s so secretive about it, that only a handful of people know.¡± The silence in the room was deafening, and her first reaction was an overwhelming hell no. Even for Lucy, someone who she liked as a hot flirt, the price of admission on this one was too high. ¡°Like hell, I¡¯m not bailing out your brother, Lucy. He can go eat a¨Cno, Greg, don''t do the displeased look. And work on your smile flexes, you''re still too stiff-looking!¡± She grumbled. Greg was, very much, not happy about this either. ¡°The treasury is low. Trade seems slow to return to Fiefdala. Repair efforts are lagging. Fiona, the city, and the nation-state are showing worrying signs. I, too, want to know what is up. Also, the patently obvious reason of why we should do this, shouldn¡¯t be lost on you.¡± ¡°No, Greg, our worry is the shop, and Barry already screwed us once! You think he won''t do it again?¡± She fumed. ¡°This guy has been taking two moves for every one we make! Lucy, your brother is on his own for this one¨C¡± ¡°Fiona. I think my brother knows something. I think the reason he wants this deal, is because he needs this deal.¡± Lucy''s words, somber expression, and down-turned eyes, were the same feeling she was getting about the whole situation. Something worrying was going on below the surface of this cheery city. A disturbing thought came to mind: Had Barry arranged this, because he thought that Fiona was the only person he thought could pull this off? Was he desperate, or stupid? She couldn¡¯t rightly tell anymore. ¡°You want me to help him. The jackass who is watching me with a microscope and threatening to put me in the grave? No, Lucy, I¡¯m doing it my way,¡± she replied coldly. ¡°Fiona real talk? Glados is trouble. I want that blonde tramp out of our palace, and no longer being in a position to be a nefarious little snake. I also want dad back on the throne, until Edward relents and comes to his senses,¡± Lucy stated, and put her hands on her hips. ¡°Simple, really. Barry isn¡¯t cut out for leadership, and I worry Glados is working with someone to be a destabilizing influence. Douglas the Red is just one symptom of things trying to put this kingdom down lately.¡± ¡°Honestly, given everything going on? I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m saying this, but Doug was politer than the rest of the hereditary leaders combined!¡± Fiona stated angrily. Greg does not need glasses to look cool when he does his sound bits, Fiona thought silently before she weighed her response. ¡°Lucy, this is a tall order, and quite frankly, this is beyond our means to influence. Look, we¡¯re friends, but your brother has dug his grave on this.¡± ¡°Fiona, I get it. You got dealt a bad hand. You¡¯ve been making headway on your own power, with the help of a few good friends. But this is bigger than just me. This is about making sure that Fiefdala¡¯s future stays bright and cheery. Because I worry about who Glados is working with. So, anything I can do to ensure that my brother proves without a doubt he can¡¯t lead, and needs to go back to doing relatively mundane things, is something I will do for the sake of its people,¡± Lucy stated solemnly. ¡°I know that you don¡¯t like making waves. Unlike a lot of the other summons. But this is important.¡± Fiona¡¯s eyes widened at that truth-bomb that Lucy dropped in the room, and knew this was trouble. So didn¡¯t everyone else who had a marked reaction. Oh, Fiddlesticks. Vol. 1, Ch. 47: Fondness Makes The Elf Go Yonder ¡°No, you don¡¯t, Lucy,¡± Bonne uttered before anyone else could get a word out, or even process this sudden reveal that Lucy knew about the circumstances of Fiona¡¯s appearance. ¡°This is dragon crap. You don¡¯t get to play that card. How do you even know about Fiona being summoned?¡± Lucy let out a soft sigh. Fiona narrowed her eyes¨Chow dare she pretend this was no big deal, after dropping that nuclear bomb of a reveal! ¡°Miss Revere, I know a lot of things. Some summons cause trouble everywhere they go. They think they can break the rules everywhere they go, that they¡¯re ¡®chosen ones¡¯. A lot of them claim some invisible voice tells them to be vagrant, poorly dressed killers, and they justify the slaughter of many innocent animals as ¡®it was coming right for me.¡¯ Honestly, I think the summoning process is a little buggy, which is why it¡¯s outlawed. Especially in the interest of those involuntarily pulled to the world.¡± ¡°Um¡­¡± Fiona trailed off¨Chad she ever done that? She was pretty sure she wasn¡¯t a murder hobo, because most monsters¨Cminus lewd slimes¨Chad tried to eat her or kill her first. The lewd slimes got the business end of her hammer and sent blasting off like Team Rock and Ket, and their catfolk lackey, who''d had more brains than the other two combined. ¡°So, these other guys, claim they got voices in their heads?¡± Internally, she was sweating. Psst. Wingding, you don¡¯t speak, do you? The winged heart fluttered a little¨Cwhich was confusing because it wasn¡¯t speech, but it was communication. She focused a little closer. There had to be something there. Okay. We need the Morse code at some point. Go back to our one flap for yes, two for no. She felt two flaps, and she narrowed her eyes while she stole a glance at her wrist. Wise-arse. One flap later, she looked up and had an answer. Lucy tilted her head as if thinking of the answer. ¡°Lucy, saaaay, if you¡¯ve held this information for this long, why are you revealing what you know, now?¡± Fiona asked, teeth gritted. She had better tread lightly. ¡°Because you''re my friend, and I didn¡¯t want to keep that held in,¡± Lucy replied, looking deflated. ¡°I presumed you guys knew¨Cdefinitely you, Bonnie, I was seventy percent sure of Greg, and I was fifty-fifty on Darla,¡± she explained. They all nodded softly at this and made low murmuring sounds, beside Fiona. ¡°Look it wasn¡¯t my business, Fiona. You¡¯re a loveable, kind of wild woman who cares about people. Even with your eccentric beats. I don¡¯t get the one about snacks, though.¡± ¡°Hey, I grew up in a household where snacks were forbidden! Then I found out my younger sister would sneak them. Oh, and my parents. But seriously, you knew, but said nothing?!¡± she demanded. ¡°That is not cool!¡± ¡°I had a pretty good idea you were summoned. I mean, I did get a report of a nude, red-haired elf showing up in town, seven months ago,¡± she added. Greg coughed softly, Darla gave her that smoky look with her eyes, and Bonnie bit her lip, trying not to laugh. ¡°But, given that you were quite content with adventuring bit, and livening up the place, I figured I shouldn¡¯t bring it up.¡± ¡°But you are, though,¡± Bonnie pressed. ¡°You must have a reason.¡± ¡°Okay, the truth? A lot of strange things have been going on. Douglas the Red getting aggressive on a territorial dispute? That was one. The Bar''dathi elven communities had been acting real secretive before that, like they were looking for something, sending out scout teams all over the place,¡± she explained. ¡°Then, Fiona shows up. Then, Vale goes under new management in a possible subdued bloodbath, and¡­yeah. It might seem on the surface things are normal, but they¡¯re kind of not!¡± ¡°Uh, I didn¡¯t exactly have a choice in the showing up part. I thought I did pretty good at blending in,¡± Fiona countered, arms folded against her chest. ¡°I''m convinced you''re seeing patterns where there are none.¡± ¡°Okay. Where¡¯s your summoner?¡± Lucy asked. Fiona shook her head. ¡°Didn¡¯t have one. After what happened to me, I was miraculously deposited here. Buck naked. In a cornfield. And it also gave me red hair and long ears. I still haven¡¯t explained that last one yet,¡± Fiona admitted. She could hear Greg wincing beside her, without her elven hearing. ¡°Listen, Sadpants, she knew enough.¡± ¡°No summoner?¡± Lucy asked, mouth agape. ¡°That makes no sense!¡± She clearly didn''t know everything--or she was playing dumb. ¡°Welcome to the club,¡± Greg grumbled. ¡°Again, I am not seeing a pattern here. You are seeing coincidences, Lucy. We¡¯ve been following up on this one, too. Does Barry know these circumstances?¡± ¡°My brother might be a schemer, but, no. He is not aware, and I prefer to keep it that way. Summons tend to have¡­uh¡­¡± ¡°A short life expectancy, given this madhouse world?¡± Fiona asked in an edged tone, and her ears pressed tightly against her skull. "I''d argue that''s more of an overinflated ego or a god complex on their part." At least Lucy was sincere when she said that. ¡°Yeah, probably a good thing that I hung up the armor and weapons for a business outfit. Look, Lucy, why do you need me for this? Don''t you have people better suited for this kind of task?" ¡°Because you¡¯re in the unique position to do something no one else will have access to: find out what happened to the treasury. Glados is a snake we need to yank out and cast into the lake. Figuratively speaking,¡± she answered sweetly. "With proof." ¡°I¡¯d prefer literal tossing in the lake,¡± Bonnie uttered with a cute growl. ¡°For now, I want you to play along with this. Not for me, for Fiefdala itself. You love this place like a home, yes? So do I. I don¡¯t want things like the harvest festival to disappear. Or my brother making deals with kingdoms that used to deal with slavers not too long ago. That memory is still burned in the elder folk''s memory, and they¡¯re not going to let it go for a while, if ever,¡± Lucy stated adamantly. "You realize how much of a bad deal this is for me, Lucy." Fiona tensed, lips quivering. "I could just say no. I''ve been burned once already, for no good reason. I still might. We¡¯ll pack up and leave Fiefdala. Barry has betrayed the trust of everyone who makes Fiefdala great.¡± "Because you care. As do I." Lucy let out a quiet breath, and shook her head. ¡°I don¡¯t think Barry would seriously let you die, because if you did? Guess what? Jake will throw a coup. Dad would murder Barry¡ªand I would too, if he beat me to the punch. As much as I hate saying that. But if Barry did this because terrified of something worse happening, and that you were the right card to play? Then he could cause lasting, possibly irreparable harm to Fiefdala, through malice, or incompetence." Fiona glanced around the room, trying to read her friends reactions. It was surprising, that Greg gave a silent nod of approval. She had a decision to make. Lucy could also be screwing her, in line with the rest of the family. Fiona hoped this wasn''t going to lead to an utter betrayal of trust. Mostly, because it meant this whole kingdom had been a farce. Fiona pondered her response. Lucy, if you''re in on this whole scheme to screw me over, I will burn down this kingdom on my way out the front gate. Because I can''t take another betrayal like that. She had one idea of what it would take to convince herself if Lucy was just another player in this scheme. "There¡¯s only one way this ends with Barry getting out of this with his backside intact. He resigns. He leaves Fiefdala. I don¡¯t ever want to see him again after this is done. And I am not doing this for you. I''m doing this for Fiefdala." She was done being pushed around--if Lucy was serious about this, she''d agree. "If you don''t agree with that, then I''m gone, I¡¯ll pack up and leave once I¡¯m free of his mark. Greg, Darla, Bonnie?" ¡°We¡¯d ride off into the sunset, as you¡¯ve said once or twice,¡± Greg affirmed quietly. ¡°I¡¯d build a floating shop for us. I wouldn¡¯t let you go alone,¡± Bonnie added. ¡°Same. She deserves way better than what you guys have brought down on her,¡± Darla said, a twitch of her tail the only sign of her irritation. Lucy looked sullen at that, but eventually, nodded. "I need to know the truth, Fiona. Even if it leads to me finding out awful things. If you do find something rotten..." she trailed off, and shook her head. "Make sure no deal ever comes out of it intact, because I don''t think anything good will come of dealing with Vale." She let out a measured sigh of relief. Finally, a Greybeard that isn''t adding to the drama. But, she still had terms to lay out. "Okay, two immediate problems. I already told your brother no. So, if we reverse course now? He''s going to know something is up."You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author. "I think he''ll try something when dad isn''t looking. Wait for an opening. Knowing him, it won''t be subtle, but it may be protected by the letter of the law," Lucy warned. Greg nodded, as did Bonnie. "Second problem, sort of related to the first. We need assurances the shop won''t be collateral. We have to make a living, too. And Darla." "Dad already is pulling influence. that''s why you haven''t had to pay a copper yet. I don''t believe you guys will get shafted on this, and I''m digging into every merchant code to find a loophole." Lucy offered her relay to him, and he tapped it to get the communicator to program. "The Adventurer''s Guild also complained about back pay after filling in the military roles for a duration, dealing with Douglas. I think Jacob is also making moves, because he''s not happy, either." Greg tilted his head, and nodded. "Second problem? We need a proper expert for sneaking. I''m...more of a blunt force instrument," Fiona admitted candidly. "I mean I also know all sorts of ways around paperwork, but still!" ¡°I have a guy who might be able to help--" "Wait, we have a guy! Or gal!" Bonnie''s ears perked up. "Cita could do it! There''s no door she can''t find herself on the other side of! I mean, unless Fiona is bashing it down, first." "Way to downplay my role as a door kicker," Fiona stated dryly, and smiled. "Cita could do it. and Felix owes me a favor or two! Who knows? Maybe Barry is being influenced by Glados and isn''t malicious; he''s just weak-willed." Lucy raised an eyebrow at that. "Not that weak-willed. But I know my brother, and he gets obsessed over things. Glados is who I¡¯m truly worried about, though. I¡¯m going to keep digging on my end, to find out what they¡¯re both up to. But I have to use people not tied to me. Court intrigue sucks,¡± she added while groaning loudly. ¡°If I¡¯d known dad would put Barry in charge, I¡¯d have thrown that brat out a window sooner.¡± ¡°Barry being turned into¡­raspberry jam?¡± Fiona pondered aloud. Greg¡¯s face wrinkled like he was fighting the urge to laugh, and desperately so. ¡°Seriously, defenestration is a crime, Lucy, don¡¯t do that. Even though I¡¯d love to give him a gentle love tap with my hammer,¡± she added evilly a second later. ¡°Seriously, did your brother not get hugged as a kid?¡± Darla asked while tossing her blue hair lightly. ¡°Or did you all bully him?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know! He was the youngest brother and got all of Mom¡¯s attention!¡± Lucy fumed. ¡°I do appreciate this, I really do. Even if...even if my worst fears are confirmed, and I''m the only sane Greybeard left in the family." ¡°Ahem,¡± Greg interrupted. ¡°It¡¯s getting late, and we¡¯ve had our fun for the day. Princess Lucy, if this is for the good of the kingdom¨Cand I daresay it probably is--we will assist on this. But we will require assurances that¨C¡± ¡°Gregory, I keep my promises. I''d be a terrible friend if I didn''t." It brought some modicum of relief to Fiona to hear that, as Lucy smiled. "Welcome to the life of the crown, though it was a lot more boring when Dad was running the show,¡± she stated with a twirl of her hair. ¡°Now, I do have a few intriguing, less intense questions. For instance¡­Fiona, is that loveable booger of a cat giving granny trouble?¡± she asked with a brightened smile. ¡°Nah, Tucker has taken a liking to her. When I was beating up kobolds, he was chilling in her apartment. What, they don¡¯t have pets allowed in the palace?¡± she asked, intrigued by the line of questioning, which was a much-needed reprieve from the heavy stuff. ¡°No, my father had two dogs, though, and they were both long-furred boogers that would try to chew on the tapestries on rare occasions. But they were well-behaved,¡± she explained. They continued to talk for a little while longer, but Fiona felt unease. She was so used to problems being simple. Whack a giant monster with a hammer. Negotiate with local artists to display and sell art pieces. Getting everyone¡¯s favorite raspberry jam from the local farms. Those were easy. This one was going to be hard. She knew it as the conversation dried up, and they made their farewells. "Fi, one sec?¡± Lucy called out as they were departing through the front gate. Fiona gave a quick wave to the rest to hold up for a minute. She turned back, with Lucy cupping her hands together, looking anxious. ¡°Hey, what¡¯s up?¡± Fiona asked, once she was in range. Lucy ran her fingers through her hair¡­even tugging at it softly. ¡°I¡¯m sorry." "For what?" "I put you in this spot, because I didn¡¯t take the crown. Before dad left for his vacation...he asked me if I wanted to take over for a bit. In theory, I could have...but I said no. I hate dealing with the day-to-day crap. Now you¡¯re stuck holding the bag. That¡¯s why I didn¡¯t come to see you right away. I figured you might be pissed at me.¡± The thought actually hadn¡¯t crossed her mind, she realized, and she spoke in a softer tone. ¡°Lucy, being a leader sucks. You get stuck with bad situations, you take the blame when things go bad, and you get no credit when things go well. I get why you didn¡¯t want it. Even though, I think you would be a good leader. For what it¡¯s worth.¡± Lucy¡¯s eyes brightened at that. ¡°You mean that?¡± ¡°You¡¯re like your dad. Greybeard knows how to speak to people, and how to direct a room, how to get the people he needs to find solutions. He delegates and takes advice. However, I do question his choice of using the family black sheep. If I wasn¡¯t so sure I could twist Barry¡¯s arm around his back, I¡¯d be worried by now.¡± ¡°Do you hate Barry? I wouldn¡¯t blame you if you did. But family¡­sometimes they do awful things, and it gets muddled by the fact that you know and care about them. And you know that, they¡¯ve done good things before. Barry loved the family dogs, he always took good care of them, always walked them, always got them fed, trained them, he was like Mira''s best friend, growing up¡­¡± Lucy trailed off. ¡°He¡¯s not a bad person, Fiona.¡± ¡°Really?¡± Fiona asked bitterly. ¡°Discounting what he did to me, he still stiffed the defenders of Fiefdala. Not even a celebration for the people who risked life and limb, when I rolled into town. Nothing. It was like a regular day in the palace.¡± She paused for a second and considered something she hadn¡¯t before. Had he¡­deliberately shorted them on a celebration? Or was Barry unable to afford it? One, she could attribute it to stupidity. The other, worried her. It only added to her nagging feeling, that more was going on. A thought that refused to die out: Barry was desperate. He didn¡¯t do this to her out of malice. He did it because he felt like had no choice. It still didn¡¯t make her any less furious about it. ¡°Which is why I need your help, Fi, to understand why. If you pay this debt off, or even more admirably, thwart a former taxman, we might not find out.¡± Lucy gazed at her with soft blue eyes, and sighed. ¡°I don¡¯t have a leg to stand on to ask this of you, Fi. You risked it all before, and given the fact that you¡¯re here, brought to this world against your will, you¡¯ve probably got your own things to sort out, too.¡± Lucy tucked back a strand of wavy red hair behind Fiona¡¯s ear, in a touching gesture. They had almost gotten close, back before Fiona went off to deal with Douglas and gave him a hammer-sized beatdown. Lucy had laughed at her antics, even as she frustrated Greg, and Bonnie, and occasionally, even Jake, and left the crap about her family out of the picture. Even went on a few lunch outings. Lucy was kind. Level-headed. She¡¯d never asked questions about Fiona on her first exploits with the Adventurer¡¯s guild, on a chance invite from the King to celebrate a significant treasure find of historical value. She had, however, helped her raid the prized snacks out of the palace, and they¡¯d laughed about it mischievously. They¡¯d gone on a few events together with the guild¨CLucy was always enamored with them, and Jake in particular, and had spent a time or two watching training lessons. She liked Lucy, because she was something she hadn¡¯t been. Fiona didn¡¯t know everything there was to know about the possible future queen of Fiefdala¡­and yet¡­ She wanted to tell her how she came to this world. How her business failed, despite her best efforts. How her love had left her, because she¡¯d become obsessed with keeping that community hangout afloat, at all costs. And she''d been left bitter and alone, from her terrible decision. How she¡¯d been more than eager to find a hill to die on, and one was handed to her on a silver platter, in the form of an apocalyptic monster invasion. I charged into a battle I had no hope of winning, because I wanted to die on my own terms. She swallowed uncomfortably. Buying time for survivors, was a lie she had told herself so often, she''d come to believe it. Almost. It might have a convenient reason...but it wasn''t the full truth. Someone had stepped in, to save her from her own self-destructive nature. Lucy canted her head a little. Fiona realized she¡¯d been gazing a little too long at her, thinking about all those things. ¡°Lucy, I¡¯m¡­I¡¯m different from who I used to be. I may battle monsters with a grin on my face, but..." she let the words linger in the air. "I worry if it''s good change, or just a distraction I give myself to avoid facing my past--" Her response was to hug Fiona, nuzzling gently against the crook of her neck. Which, admittedly, was a little difficult. Fiona was taller than Lucy by a few inches. Her shapely long elven legs were, for once, putting her at a slight disadvantage, and she had to lean down a bit. Lucy sighed softly, her breath breezing by a pointy ear. ¡°Girl, I¡¯ve met other summons. None of you guys have it easy. It¡¯s like some kind of sick written rule of the gods. However you got here, someone thought you were important enough that you needed to be here. Don¡¯t lose sight of that, alright? Not every summon was brought here for selfish reasons.¡± Fiona returned that hug and gripped firmly, at the small of Lucy¡¯s back. ¡°You know something, queen in training? That means a lot to me." Fiona relaxed, and Lucy looked like she was hiding a blush, smiling faintly. "I uh, was that too much?" "I think...I really needed that." Fiona could feel that fluttery motion in the pit of her stomach, and cleared her throat. Anything to avoid blurting out something too bold. "But seriously, your brother¡¯s going excommunicado for the stuff he¡¯s done.¡± Lucy laughed softly, even with the hint of a strain in her tone. ¡°Yeah, I know. And Fi? Thank you. You¡¯re a good person, you know that? Stick to that. I like this version of you. And maybe, you¡¯ve always been this version of you, and didn¡¯t realize it.¡± Fiona¡¯s ears twitched as Bonnie made a cat call in the background, and Darla cooed contentedly. ¡°Hey ladies, better to take that inside!¡± Bonnie sang with a merry tone. ¡°What, uh, huh? Oh no, we were saying goodbye,¡± Fiona said, flustered and all too conscious of what had just transpired. Her cheeks were alight with a burning sensation, and Lucy giggled anxiously. ¡°Well, uh, yes I must get going. To plans!¡± She gave Lucy a quick wave after they let go, and whirled around before she dared to test her boldness and¨C Damn it, she did have a thing for women and men way above her class. And not in the literal sense of this Candyland fantasy planet, either. She quickly rejoined her friends, with Bonnie smiling sharply. ¡°Oh, were you having a moment?¡± Bonnie called out sweetly. ¡°Shut up, we¡¯re just friends, who haven¡¯t seen each other in a bit,¡± she deflected lightly ¡°Uh-huh. ¡®Just friends¡¯ you say,¡± Darla said with a leering maw of shiny white teeth, and her golden eyes alight with amusement. ¡°Want my advice? That girl¡¯s a hot pocket, and you¡¯ll have a lot of fun with her. Betcha she has a few interests that I might know a few things about¨C¡± ¡°Alright, hey, great talk, guys! Let¡¯s head home and deal with insurmountable tax problems, a shop to run, a-and a scheming king!¡± she stated hastily. ¡°She does give off that body language, doesn¡¯t she?¡± Greg mused, the upward crease of his lips surprisingly visible. ¡°She¡¯s the sister of the current pain-in-my-ass regent king,¡± Fiona growled. ¡°I¡¯m not courting death with that hot pocket just yet, thanks. This is...well, complicated, to say the least, with this whole situation." ¡°That sounded even hotter,¡± Darla cooed. ¡°I love you dear, but bite me.¡± ¡°Happy to nibble, long ears,¡± Darla countered in a husky tone. She didn¡¯t dare to look her in the eye as they made their way home. That burning sensation in her cheeks wasn¡¯t going away anytime soon. Vol. 1, Ch. 48: The Customer Is Always Right Fiona hated Moondays. It was like Monday, but not as ominous sounding. It was, also, the least fun day of the week as she and the rest of the crew breezed through the doors of the shop. She wished that Lucy had just left them out of this debacle involving Barry and that blonde viper in the palace. She already had enough on her plate. Come to think of it, why exactly was she talking about the Bar''dathi elves? That¡¯s the second time that¡¯s come up recently. Fiona nearly dipped her head into a mug of coffee offered by Darla, who waved gently to get her attention at the counter. ¡°Heeey, who¡¯s supposed to be awake and chipper by now?¡± Darla teased with a glint of gold eyes. ¡°You look like you could use this. Just be glad I prefer you ingest it to wake up, rather than dump it on your lap.¡± Fiona wasted no time to take it in hand, took a deep inhale of the freshly brewed coffee, and let out a contented sigh. ¡°Another late night. I was talking to Greg about numbers. Ugh. I want to shut down when faced with numbers. The good news is, we are indeed, in the green. But my carefree spending days are over, until I sell this dragon loot.¡± She paused and went over a list in front of her that showed the following. ¡°I mean, honestly, I ponder who would buy some of these items. Or how they have any intrinsic value.¡± ¡°Mind if I take a look?¡± Darla asked, and tapped the arcane pad gently with an orange painted nail. She squinted, and peered closer. ¡°Are these for real? You have these in storage, or in the shop?¡± ¡°Yep. No joke.¡± Fiona thumbed through the list. ¡°Here are the highlights of the super weird ones, or the ones I know will be difficult to sell.¡± She peered at her list with skepticism. This was just a handful of items she had to move, and some of them were¡­bizarre.
Item Description QTY Price (CSG) Comments
Super Evil Dragon Scepter 1 1.00E+99 Don¡¯t ever actually sell this.
Stuffed Rodent of Peculiar Volume 2 300* One sample slightly charred, 50% off.
Big-assed sword 1 1000 Amnesiac blonde sold separately.
Armor of invincibility 1 4000 Not stain proof.
Golden sphere with eyes and a mouth 1 5000 It¡¯s either a face, or a bowling ball. Dunno why it''s smiling.
Demonic Paintbrush Set 1 666 Buyer must be a redhead.
Crimson Greatsword (¡®Palach¡¯ stenciled in) 1 9999 Do not sell to murderous divas.
Darla wrinkled her brow and rubbed one horn absentmindedly. ¡°I have one question. Why does a dragon need any of these things? This hoard seems more like a worthless loot dumping ground, with some of these items. I think this dragon lied about where he stored the good stuff.¡± ¡°Nah, there were a lot of good items in there,¡± Fiona shrugged. ¡°Cita took inventory when she had the chance. Now, to be honest, I agree. But I can make a pitch for just about anything.¡± ¡°Oh? Care to put that to the test? Who wants an invisibility cloak that you can¡¯t bloody find?¡± Darla asked as she tapped one line in particular. ¡°Uh¡­well¡­¡± she sighed and shook her head. ¡°I¡¯m sure it has a great use!¡± ¡°I am sincerely doubtful of that. Also, what is this?¡± before tapping one other line on the list. Fiona grabbed the paper, and examined it. ¡°Oh, that? Some golden egg. You know the funny bit? I put it in the bedroom because I thought it would be a cool ornament¡­but Tucker keeps sneaking it into the bed and he curls up around it when I come home for the day,¡± Fiona said with a hand wave. Darla raised an eyebrow. ¡°It¡¯s not a real egg. I mean, I¡¯m pretty sure it isn¡¯t. Tucker just likes shiny things.¡± ¡°Phase cats are pretty clever, Fiona. I think he¡¯s trying to hatch it,¡± Darla said with a laugh. ¡°Make sure to take an image with the crystal lens on your relay when it does?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not a real egg!¡± she fumed. ¡°Oh, are you trying to egg me on? Geddit?¡± ¡°Groan. I think you need more coffee before you attempt jokes,¡± Darla added with a flash of a smile. Greg walked by and grabbed an extra cup she¡¯d been holding with her tail. ¡°A thank you will suffice,¡± she said in a silky tone and a gentle bow toward him. ¡°You have my eternal gratitude, Darla. Oh, Fiona, we also have that customer again.¡± he threw his thumb behind him, and she glanced questioningly at him, before peering at the aisle. It was this woman again. She¡¯d been in the store five of the last five days, window shopping, trying to find one particular item, but never settling on one. The woman in question was a Nekotame with more than a few gray furs. Fiona pondered if it was just because she didn''t quite know what to get, and was too hesitant to ask. She''d tried once earlier in the week, and the woman said she just needed time to sort through it. Wingding, lets figure this one out, shall we? I kinda feel bad that she hasn''t found what she needs yet. We can totally do it! She got a single enthusiastic flap in response. ¡°Greg, I¡¯ll make a bet with you. I can get that lady to buy something that costs at least five hundred gold in the next ten minutes. I think she needs the right item, and I''m gonna find it." She pushed her chair back and smoothed her hair¨Cyep, perfectly wavy, perfectly bouncy, and she practiced her shopkeeper smile. ¡°I¡¯ll wager lunch.¡± ¡°Nah. She''s been here several times. Hasn¡¯t spent a copper,¡± he pointed out. ¡°I think she¡¯s just paralyzed by too much choice. She said something about finding a tool for her grandson, and it has to be perfect." This was something new to her, and just enough to figure out this woman''s needs. ¡°Well, then. I just need to narrow it down a bit!¡± she asserted while clapping her hands together. She sprang into motion. She caught the woman¡¯s attention¡­Missus Pagolin, she recalled? She had just set down a small bauble that could identify gems in the field, and looked at Fiona with surprisingly bright ochre-colored eyes. ¡°Uh¡­can I have some help? I¡¯m trying to get something for my grandson,¡± she asked, after spending a few seconds trying to formulate the words. This was new information to Fiona, and she affirmed it with a nod. ¡°Sure thing, missus¨C¡± ¡°Pagolin,¡± she finished, and shook Fiona¡¯s hand with a crushing grip, but Fiona was no stranger to the grip of iron, and did not wince in pain. "I don''t want to be a bother--" ¡°Nah, its okay! Greg said you''re looking for something for your grandson. So, tell me a little bit about him!¡± ¡°Well, he has wanted to be an adventurer, ever since he was a little kid! He first put on a pair of play goggles at age six! Anyway, he¡¯s just got his class¨Che ended up picking a warrior, even though he¡¯s never swung a sword in his life!¡± she added with a chuckle.The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. Great career choice there, future dead adventurer, Fiona thought caustically. But she knew better than that¨Cshe needed to focus on the notion that this young adventurer would likely die before she could even do anything meaningful for him. So he needed something small, effective, and affordable. ¡°Tell me about your grandson. Why did he want to become an adventurer?¡± ¡°He wanted to be like his dad. He gave his life in the defense of Fiefdala about fifteen years ago, trying to deal with a necromancer. Ah, my daughter tried to talk him out of it, but he didn¡¯t listen. She refused to buy anything for him, thinking that would solve the problem. He was gonna go to the loan sharks or pawn what few things he had, and I wasn¡¯t going to sit there and let him do that. So, I stepped in, and told my daughter, ¡®He needs to be able to choose his path in this life¡¯," Pagolin answered after pondering it for a few seconds. ¡°So, he¡¯s motivated,¡± Fiona concluded. ¡°She shouldn¡¯t get in the way of that.¡± ¡°Oh, she did. She didn¡¯t want him becoming some skeleton wandering a mad mage''s dungeon, and it got tense. She doesn¡¯t know I''m here, doing this for him.¡± She frowned and glanced at the display cases. ¡°Do you have kids, Miss Swiftheart? I would guess not, you''re pretty sharp in the ears still, as they say,¡± she added with an exaggerated ¡®ho-ho¡¯ sound. Fiona couldn¡¯t help but smirk proudly. ¡°I¡¯ve still got youth. And kids¡­well¡­they¡¯re not something I¡¯ve given thought to, yet. It is...a little challenging." Because I do tend to like people who can¡¯t¡­really make that happen for me, she thought to herself. Pagolin made a circle over her heart and whispered a prayer. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, being barren is not something people are proud or willing to talk about freely, not without a lot of bravery. It¡¯s alright, dear.¡± ¡°No, I¡­uh¡­¡± Fiona trailed off. ¡°I¡­like certain people.¡± Pagolin blinked, and nodded with a soft smile. ¡°Ah, I see. You love who you love, I understand. You¡¯ve also got the life of an adventurer in you. Not a lot of room for settling down, is there?¡± ¡°No. Not really. It¡¯s very busy. Very intense. Anyway, tell me, what does your grandson gravitate to? Does he have any special skills?¡± ¡°Hmm. He¡¯s good with a bow. I know that he''s split arrows at a hundred meters, shooting one arrow into the half of the other. Deadly aim,¡± she stated proudly. ¡°But, those are items that require a lot of money, and effort. I''ve been trying to find something he''ll be able to use--" ¡°Actually, how long has he trained?¡± ¡°Five years. He won many archery contests as a kid, and I want what¡¯s best for him.¡± Fiona frowned and motioned the woman to follow her to a case near the back of the main room. She unlocked it with a key, and showed the woman a rather simple bow, made of yew, but intricately carved with blackened runes. The string was virtually invisible, and there was even a detailed sighting to help predict arrow drop. ¡°This is a marksman bow. It¡¯s light, very strong for its size, and enchanted to fire true to where you aim, minus gravity. The little sight helps figure out where the arrow lands at longer distances.¡± She pulled the bow, and recalled her lessons with Jake. She didn¡¯t always have the hammer with her, and it was nice to have a ranged option. ¡°You pull the string, and it auto-coats the arrows with a magic-piercing enchantment. Very good against most magical targets. And out there in the wilds, you need every edge you can get,¡± Fiona explained. She pulled the bow taut, working on her form and sighting down the scope, picturing the arrow between her fingers, ready to be loosed. Her arm held dead-steady, even fully drawn, and Pagolin looked on in amazement. ¡°Hmm. It would help if you tucked it a little tighter. Your form¡¯s a bit off." ¡°Ranged wasn¡¯t my style. It was a backup,¡± she answered softly as she slowly relaxed the bow. ¡°But, when you¡¯re up against monsters and all sorts of dangers, you need to have an answer to any problem and be adaptive. My mentor taught me that.¡± ¡°Still, you look like you¡¯ve handled yourself well. How much for this one?¡± Pagolin asked, and Fiona read the price tag. ¡°This is low-grade, but versatile. Seven-fifty.¡± What had started for her, as a bet with Greg, had turned into something that had some meaning personally. ¡°What¡¯s your budget?¡± ¡°Three hundred. Sorry, Miss Swiftheart. I can¡¯t afford that one,¡± the woman said with a resigned sigh. ¡°I mean, I can go a little higher, but¨C¡± ¡°I might have one more.¡± She went further back, unlocked another cabinet, pulled out a cloth-wrapped bundle, and slowly unfurled the weapon housed within. All the while, Wingding was fluttering excitedly. ¡°Miss Swiftheart, your items are quite pricey¨C¡± ¡°Not all of them are.¡± She pulled out a well-carved bow, with basic runes carved in. The woodwork was elegant, if simple, and she pulled the bow taut, watching the segments flex in conjunction. ¡°This one is a starter bow. Simple, but powerful. It has a very minor enchantment to allow you to hold the arrow nocked, and not stress your arm. It allows you to keep your aim steady for that one single patient shot.¡± ¡°Intriguing. Why this one, though?¡± Pagolin asked, and Fiona slowly felt that muscle memory returning, the telling motion of where an arrow would fly true, as her eyes followed the room. ¡°It¡¯s mine.¡± Pagolin blinked, and let out a small gasp. ¡°I think your grandson would benefit greatly from a bow that teaches patience and precision.¡± ¡°Goodness, Miss Swiftheart. You¡¯re selling off your personal effects?¡± ¡°No. I¡¯m forwarding them to the next round of adventurers who can use them. I¡¯ve got a closet of items I¡¯ve used in the past, more complicated, more powerful. But, ultimately, the power is in the hands of the one wielding it,¡± she stated as she slowly relaxed on the string, and the bow reverted to its original shape. ¡°But, doesn¡¯t it have sentimental value?¡± she asked. Fiona frowned, and placed the bow back into the wrap, folding it tightly. ¡°We can¡¯t hold onto the past forever. I didn''t want it to just sit in my closet, collecting dust along with out-of-date boots.¡± She presented the bundle to the woman. ¡°I can part with it for three hundred. It would list as five hundred, new. But I¡¯ve also taken good care of it.¡± ¡°But, Miss Swiftheart¨C¡± ¡°I opened this store not just to get me out of a rather unique situation, I did it, so I could get the next generation of adventurers ready for the world we live in. It¡¯s not all sunshine and roses, like I originally thought,¡± she stated firmly. ¡°Please. Let your grandson know that the Hero of Fiefdala believes he¡¯s got what it takes. He just needs a level head, and steely resolve.¡± ¡°You''re very gracious. Thank you, you¡¯re such a dear,¡± the woman said, while Greg wore a bemused look, over by the counter, as he rang her out. ¡°You lost the bet,¡± he stated contentedly. ¡°I think you could have won that one.¡± "Technically, I did. It was worth five hundred. I sold it for three. Besides, it was my bow." Greg let out a sound of surprise. ¡°You get clingy to items, Fiona. That was unexpected. Why, might I ask?¡± She leaned on the counter, a faint smile on her lips. ¡°I didn¡¯t need it. It was gonna collect dust in my apartment for an eternity, when it could be used, now.¡± ¡°Huh. I know of your clingy tendencies, too.¡± ¡°I still have them. I still want the next set of fashionable winter boots that cost a fortune,¡± she growled, before relenting. ¡°I¡­have difficulty letting things go, Greg. Things become more than¡­things. You know?¡± He canted his head, as if in thought. ¡°Why, though?¡± ¡°Because I grew up dirt poor. When I inherited that shop I ran, back on earth, I thought it was going to fix all my money problems, and I could live like a queen. I did¨Con borrowed money. I let short-sighted decisions like that compound and get worse, later. Not really worth it, in retrospect,¡± she sighed. ¡°There was a version of Miss Swiftheart that was more of a spendthrift?¡± he jested playfully. ¡°Goodness, I don¡¯t think I¡¯d want to meet that version of you.¡± ¡°You couldn¡¯t. She died in the ruins of a world that was burning down,¡± Fiona stated quietly. ¡°My business failed, Greg. It failed, even though I put my all into it. And it wasn¡¯t me borrowing money, that did it in.¡± ¡°Then what?¡± She cleared her throat. ¡°I lost my passion for it.¡± He glanced at her, pondering his next question for a few seconds. ¡°And how did that happen?¡± ¡°I uh¡­had a falling out with someone.¡± Greg raised an eyebrow at that. ¡°Business partner? Or, someone emotionally staked to it?¡± She leaned on the counter, before glancing his way. ¡°Anyone tell you you¡¯re the kind of guy to ask hard-hitting questions?¡± He nodded with that calm gaze of his, before scribbling down something on his arcanist pad. ¡°Yeah. Someone important, you could say.¡± ¡°If you don¡¯t mind me asking¨C¡± ¡°I do. I¡¯m not ready for that one, Greg. That monster that killed me, isn¡¯t the only awful thing lurking in the past.¡± He folded his hands together, and nodded, almost imperceptibly. ¡°Fair enough. Maybe I can entice you with a story of my own, someday. As you can imagine, there¡¯s more to me than just me leaving my father¡¯s shadow that weighed on¡­some¡­of my decision-making.¡± Fiona leaned in, curious. ¡°Growing up in a magical mob family? Yeah, I can see how that could have been distinctly uncomfortable. That is, if my world¡¯s film and literature are any indication. I might take you up on that offer.¡± ¡°Well now, sounds like a date, over lunch. As business partners,¡± he added with a wry smile. ¡°Don¡¯t let the wild and free-spirited Fiona crash the party, yes?¡± ¡°Haha. I make no promises, Greg.¡± Vo1. 1, Ch. 49: A Marvel Of Modern Magitech ¡°Remind me, Fi. You spent how much on this, while facing a tax burden?¡± Bonnie shook her head at the burlap and cardboard-wrapped device now sitting in on the patio commons area of her apartment, under the strangely still-warm autumn sun. Numerous leaves were still present, but, she knew that wouldn¡¯t last forever. ¡°Bonnie? When a girl has an urge to splurge, we initiate the financial purge! I used my savings on this, I did the math, and I got this thing for a steal!¡± she declared proudly. "Maaaaybe it had something to do with the former hero status." ¡°Your hero status is noted." She couldn''t help but chuckle a second later. "Okay, how much did you talk the guy down?" "Hells, I had to talk him up. He was going to give it away for nothing, and I couldn''t do that. Forty percent off." Bonnie whistled contentedly while Fiona licked her lips and got all the major components spread out. "I don¡¯t want people to give me stuff just because I saved a kingdom once. Besides, to fund this, I¡¯m eating meals at home now, and not spending them on shoes.¡± "Excuse me? Where did you stash the real Fiona?" Bonnie laughed. "You''re looking at her! I''m just...you know, finding my center, in a way. Maybe if I hadn''t been spending money as fast as I earned it, I could have given a giant ''screw you'' to Barry from the beginning," Fiona said with a dazzle in her eyes, and clapped her hands together. ¡°This is the bell of the ball, top of the line! It¡¯s powered by elemental fire, the perfect temperature set by little cute icy elementals. Best of all, it has a few telekinetic runes powering the sump for that gentle, therapeutic jacuzzi time! It¡¯s been proven that a hot soak and a gentle massage helps with skin health, reducing stress, muscle therapy! And¡­I can enjoy a snack and a glass of wine, while I¡¯m at it.¡± ¡°Goodness, girl, when you splurge, you go big,¡± Bonnie replied with a contented sigh. ¡°Why do you need my help?¡± ¡°Just to make sure I don¡¯t install something backward and isekai myself back to the reality I came from. I¡¯m pretty sure that trip won¡¯t be so pleasant in reverse,¡± she added with a grin and started unboxing the bulky components. ¡°The guy who was supposed to set it up never showed! I was so mad at that place, like, c¡¯mon! I paid good money for this, at least set it up properly! But they also gave me a credit back and an apology, so, I guess it¡¯s a win of sorts.¡± ¡°And did this crazy contraption come with an instruction manual?¡± Bonne asked while scratching an ear, and setting her cute hat aside. Fiona tapped the small arcanist data pad in her hand and showed the well-traced and written instructions. ¡°Yep, super easy! Better than those kits for a bargain bin dresser I had back on earth! They had so many pieces, and the material would crack if you breathed on it wrong! And they never gave you enough bolts to put the thing together. Some manufacturers were so cheap. Here in Cepalune, the quality is top-notch!¡± she beamed, and projected the instructions into the air with a flick of her wrist. ¡°Okay, this doodad goes to this thingy, here¡­¡± And so it continued while the two of them set up the wondrous device, and ensured that every piece was accounted for and carefully installed. Even with it being relatively cool, Fiona was breaking out into a sweat. ¡°So what¡¯s the deal Bonnie, do you just not like getting wet?¡± ¡°No, I like swimming, but if I commit to it, I have to dry my fur. Otherwise, I get¡­a little funky,¡± she admitted with a sheepish expression on her face. ¡°Fiona, be glad you don¡¯t have fur. You get it wet when you don''t want it to, it ruins your day. Though, maybe I make it out to be more dire than it is. Our underlayer fur is a little more water resistant.¡± ¡°And soft,¡± Fiona added slyly. Bonnie cackled at this assertion. ¡°Is there anyone you won¡¯t be cute and flirty with?¡± ¡°Eh, I have my limits, dear. For instance, you, Darla, and Greg. And Kali, but for different reasons. He''s jailbird status,¡± she added with a shrug. Bonnie raised an ear in skepticism. ¡°Bonnie, I love you guys to pieces. But we run a business together. I wouldn''t put that at risk unless any of us really, really was going to commit to a long term stable relationship.¡± ¡°Are you saying I couldn''t commit?¡± she asked unexpectedly, pouting a bit. ¡°Bonnie, you''re my first friend in this world, besides Jake and Greg. Though, I have seen how Greg acts around you. He drops his professionalism just a little bit when you''re around.¡± ¡°Wait. He does?¡± Bonnie¡¯s eyes shone at that suggestion, and she put a claw to her muzzle for a second. ¡°Is it possible I just never noticed? I don¡¯t mind getting chummy with him, and¡­¡± she trailed off, as if thinking about it. ¡°He¡¯s real subtle about it. It¡¯s the way he talks around you. With me, he¡¯s all business, all the time, with the occasional dry humor. With you, he lets his guard down, just a little bit. When he calls you Bon-Bon, you know? And, I think he secretly likes a little mischief in his life. He grew up with the oh-so-serious magical criminal family. That¡¯s gotta be rough. Wrench, please?¡± Fiona asked, and Bonnie handed her one with a quick use of telekinesis. ¡°I like Greg, but¡­in that way? Is it weird that I think of us as some weird fusion family?¡± Bonnie asked, a bright smile on her face, before Fiona got to work tightening bolts. She wondered if Bonnie was playing coy, for the first time in a while. Bonnie busily connected hoses, and poked at one of the little angry fire elementals inside the containment cell. ¡°Also, did the package say ¡®no elementals were harmed in the making of this hot tub¡¯ out of curiosity?¡± ¡°They¡¯re like slimes, Bonnie! They¡¯re nearly indestructible! I also make sure to feed them with arcanist power, and special treats once a week! The guy said to give the fire elementals marshmallows. They love toasted marshmallows. Isn''t that something? More surprising, we have marshmallows in Cepalune. Some other import probably stole that idea, too.¡± ¡°Hey, I love toasted marshmallows too!¡± Bonnie proclaimed with a contented sigh. ¡°But, they also stick to the inside of my muzzle, so it can be a bit of a pain.¡± ¡°The life of a kitsune. Who knew?¡± Fiona laughed, before tightening the regulator in place, and wiping off a bead of sweat. ¡°What else do I not know about you?¡±Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website. ¡°Only that most of us have one tail. But some of us grow more. Oh my goodness, I would not want that, think of all that extra weight hanging from your back!¡± she said, while looking anxious. ¡°Looks cool, but, man, that¡¯ll kill your spine. Some eccentric and weird dude who ruled in the neighboring forests was said to have taken Kitsune wives. The more tails, the better. They found him strangled to death¨Cprobably by too many tails.¡± ¡°Well that one made my list for ¡®most ignoble way to die¡¯ by a measure,¡± Fiona announced with a smile, and then focused on aligning a hose, and tightening a clamp down. ¡°Seriously, you only have one?¡± ¡°Nah, Fi, I¡¯ve been hiding the other eight from you, because I thought you¡¯d get jealous,¡± she proposed with a sly grin. ¡°It must be weird being tailless. It really helps with balance, you know?¡± ¡°Does it? I have no idea, I¡¯ve never had one. I mean I have a tailbone, but that vestigial piece of junk exists to cause pain if you slip on winter ice,¡± Fiona grunted, and forced the clamp tighter, until it was snug against the hose. Hopefully, this thing wouldn¡¯t leak, but it appeared to match the instructions. ¡°What¡¯s the thing about natural magic for a Kitsune? That you guys are natural charmers?¡± ¡°I guess I¡¯m just that sexy,¡± Bonnie laughed as she finished putting together the rune plates, where the heat or cooling effect from the elementals would adjust the water temperature. A series of arcanist circuits connected to a central rune plate, and a few simple metal dials controlled the whole thing. ¡°Well, we can alter our appearance a little. And we¡¯re naturally resistant against fire¨Cironic, I know, with fur and all? We also are highly resistant to any magic that affects the mind. You need to really push hard on a Kitsune to compel them to do stuff.¡± ¡°I thought that was your personality, Bon-Bon. Strong-willed,¡± Fiona retorted with a smirk. "Mm-hmm. So, what about Lucy?" "Um..." Fiona froze for a split second too long, and Bonnie leaned in, a toothy smile emerging. "Oh, I think I hit home. You like her, like her." "I don''t know! I mean, we do get along quite well, she''s fun, she''s funny...her sticking it to her brother in a profound way makes her a keeper in my books." She wore her droll expression as that sly vixen kept grinning, leaning on the frame of the tub. "It''s also complicated. Barry would utterly flip his shit if he knew we were dating." "And then, he''d have a little ''accident'' out a window," Bonnie suggested with a leering smile. Fiona raised an eyebrow. "That''s trading one problem for several. He''s a jackass, not a threat to my existence. Proportionality, Bonnie." Bonnie still wouldn''t stop with that smug look. "No, we are not making raspbarry jam anytime soon. Sheesh, it''s a cold day in Underlune when I''m the one sticking with restraint." "Love makes us do crazy things." Fiona chose to ignore the heckling laugh of her friend. A little while later, Jake arrived and let out a low whistle. ¡°Look at you guys. Where¡¯s Greg and Darla?¡± he called out and was dressed in some warmer, long-sleeved clothes. His mane was slicked back¨Cas opposed to the slightly wild look he wore at the guild hall. ¡°Greg¡¯s out with Darla, they¡¯re doing business stuff. She had this place she gets her tea from, and they were trying to get supplies for her shop in the emporium. So, Jake, do you like jacuzzies? Look at this baby, top of the line! And it even has a dryer setup for all the folks with fur, hair, or feathers!¡± she added proudly as she pressed a button marked ¡®test¡¯. She regretted that, because the blast of air sent her hair in wildly different directions, and she glared at the offending device. ¡°Well, I think I can turn that down a bit,¡± she muttered, while Jake wore a toothy smirk. ¡°You just had to test it, didn¡¯t you?¡± ¡°Hey, if I¡¯m gonna sell magical items, some of which are dangerous, I better be darn sure to test stuff! But responsibly. Man, could you imagine the scandal if I sold a hexed item to someone? That would be such a nightmare involving lawyers. I hate lawyers. Our world went to crap because of them,¡± she growled. Jake scratched at his nape, and frowned. ¡°This world was quite different, wasn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°Yep. What''s weirder is I haven¡¯t run into anyone else from Earth, but I know they¡¯re there. Someone invented pizza before I got here. Pizza! It¡¯s like my second favorite dish besides a lovely noodle bowl!¡± she added with a heartfelt sigh. ¡°Man, whoever brought that import is likely sitting rich somewhere.¡± ¡°That one has been around for hundreds of years,¡± Jake pointed out. ¡°Has it been around long in your world?¡± ¡°Uh¡­a while. I think. I think they had them for a few hundred years, but the modern incarnation is a bit different,¡± she added. Jake helped her slap together an exit port for the water jetting, and ran hoses to the rest behind the exposed frame. ¡°There can¡¯t be that many. And not every idea we¡¯ve had is good. The weapon manufacturers can stay on earth, thanks. This world doesn¡¯t need firearms, tanks, planes, or worse.¡± ¡°What¡¯s a tank?¡± Jake asked. ¡°Big, armored, heavy, big old cannon on its nose. They wreck stuff,¡± she finished. ¡°Anything that sneezes out death, is something this world could live without,¡± Bonnie sighed. ¡°Luckily we got you, Fi! Best import ever!¡± ¡°Except, we still don¡¯t know who brought me here. Or why.¡± Jake raised a furry brow in response. ¡°Real talk Jake, my summoning was unusual.¡± ¡°I had a feeling that might be the case, when I first ran into you, all out of sorts. You¡¯re lucky you didn¡¯t become monster food or accosted by less savory sorts. But Fiefdala is pretty steady and driven by laws, not banditry,¡± Jake added, and gazed off to the west, almost instinctively. ¡°Bonnie, I presume you¡¯ve been looking into it?¡± ¡°Yep. Along with her class mark being really weird¨Cand really cute looking¨CI think we got ourselves a mystery worth solving,¡± she added as she licked her lips, and threaded a bundle of wires through an opening in a panel. Once through, they lit up with soft yellow light. Bonnie smiled proudly at the success. ¡°Yep, we¡¯re in business. You guys are almost done?¡± ¡°Yeah, just need to make sure we don¡¯t miss any seals. Man, that¡¯s weird, how do you guys make stuff without petrol?¡± she asked casually. She was met with a blank gaze from Bonnie and Jake. ¡°Dinosaur juice? Zombies rendered to their maximum potential?¡± ¡°We have coal,¡± Jake pointed out. ¡°Okay, it¡¯s kinda like that, something died, and turned into something useful over millions of years!¡± Fiona explained. ¡°This world is weird. You know what, scratch that, don¡¯t look for oil, either. Our planet cooked on account of that.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t imagine a world without magic. I would feel so¡­ordinary,¡± Bonnie said with a frown, threaded a few more circuits together, and sealed up the panel. ¡°Let¡¯s put it like this, I would hope, if I¡¯m the last emissary of Earth? The last chronicler of its history after what happened? Then I need to make sure Cepalune doesn''t screw it up. You guys have such a beautiful world, and I would be so sad if it stopped being that way, you know?¡± Fiona suggested, as Jake and Bonnie nodded at that. ¡°Well dear, with you at the helm, I doubt that would be a problem. Don¡¯t worry your pretty little ears,¡± she responded with a toothy grin, and helped her up once she finished the last panel and hose connection. ¡°So we gotta fill this, and we need to use some treated water, so it doesn¡¯t get all nasty. You¡¯ll need to make sure it stays maintained.¡± ¡°Believe me, this one is gonna get a ton of use. We need to give it a proper blessing! We¡¯ll do it next weekend, yeah?! We¡¯ll get some food, and just hang out!¡± Fiona proposed, and Bonnie blushed at that idea. ¡°You do like it cozy with your friends, don¡¯t you? ¡°Guilty as charged. What about you, Jake? Gonna bring your plus one I¡¯ve been dying to meet?¡± Fiona asked with a leering smile. The gentle wolven stroked his chin for a second, before nodding. ¡°Alright, we¡¯ll both come. Make it mid-afternoon, after I finish up my normal day at the guild?¡± ¡°You betcha!" Fiona declared proudly. ¡°Now, to be fair, I am gonna have to test this thing. Purely as a shakedown run. And not for my own selfish reasons.¡± Bonnie laughed at this, and clapped her shoulder gently. ¡°You do as many ¡®test runs¡¯ as you need Fiona. I think you¡¯ve earned this one.¡± Vol. 1, Ch. 50: Ponderance Of The Future Fiona stretched her legs and had on her bathing suit, ready to test out the jacuzzi later in the evening. The water was hot, steaming in the cool fall air, and she had even added a few arcanist lights in a string across the patio, to give a little bit of visibility. She didn¡¯t have to wear her swimsuit. Strangely enough, nudity was tolerated in the public bathhouses, and everyone seemed quite chill with it. She reddened at the thought of the first time she had gone, she had been so embarrassed, not knowing what to expect. It had been a nonstop display of firm muscles and soft curves everywhere, from every species. One thing is for sure: nudity was not exactly a concern in the city. From what she¡¯d heard from Bonnie and Greg, there were designated places for it. The bathhouses, and communal areas, typically in residences. Quite a few people participated in it, and after a couple of months of seeing it, it became normal to see¨Cbut, as she found out, not as normal to participate in. She glanced down at her elven body¨Cshe worked out, went on runs with Bonnie, did lifting and other activities, now that she wasn¡¯t swinging her hammer at monsters. But having a six-pack of abs, and still having a few girly curves, was new for her. She hadn¡¯t taken care of herself quite as well as this, back on Earth. She glanced skyward, with one of the moons on the horizon, her breath becoming a frosty fog. She rubbed her arms, feeling the chilly air. She looked forward to soaking her muscles from a solid jogging session, after Bonnie and company had left. ¡°Now, it¡¯s just you, and me, and a pool fit for¡­plenty,¡± Fiona sang while twirling a wine glass and a bottle she¡¯d opened before coming out by the side of the jacuzzi. She lifted a leg to climb into the enticing water, bubbling gently, and pondered something. Should she just say the hell with it? She had a killer body that she took care of, compared to what she used to be. She hadn¡¯t been out of shape, just¡­plain. Why am I still alive? Was it because the world was ending, and a god or goddess needed a survivor to spread the tale? Was it because I bailed out of that bus, and fought a battle I had no hope of winning and was ready to die that day? Was it a cosmic chance encounter? Her gaze fell upon the winged heart on her wrist, which was fluttering softly. Almost as if reacting to her, Wingding shrugged its wings softly. I guess you don¡¯t know, either, do you? Two flaps later, she had her answer. Maybe the answer lies in what I think happened? What do you think, Wingding? She didn¡¯t know how to read wings quite yet, but it almost appeared the wing ¡®feathers¡¯ spread out like a hand, trying to gesture something. Almost like sign language. The exchange almost made her forget how chilly it was outside, and how her skin prickled with goosebumps. She closed her eyes and made a decision. ¡°I¡¯m making the best of this life, Wingding. I built something in my old life, and even though I hated working in that store sometimes, people loved that place. They loved what I built, and what I brought to the people living there. Maybe I need to do the same thing, here?¡± she asked aloud. One very enthusiastic flap gave her the affirmation she needed. Yeah, you¡¯re right. We can do that, here, too. I don¡¯t wanna change the world. I just want to make my little slice of it better. She grabbed the sleeves of the upper half of the water gear, and pulled it over the top of her head, and her chilly experience outside got even chillier, in the quickly fading twilight. Arcane lights were visible in the gardens forming the heart of the communal area, the plants and vines browning with the approaching winter. A few hardy gourds and¡­something like a pumpkin were present, with the vines withering and the fruits still very much edible. Should I take off the bottom half? Yeah, you know what, I''m going for it. That came off too, and she quickly clambered into the pool. She let out a gasp--that water was warm. Almost scalding hot, but she slowly eased her lithe form into the tub after a brief adjustment, grateful for that therapeutic warmth and gentle massaging of her body. Especially her legs. Being on her feet all day, working retail¨Ceven minus her other physical activities¨Cwas a bit demanding, and she let out a loud sigh of delight. ¡°Oh, yes, Wingding, this is the best,¡± she said with a pleasureful groan, and draped her arms on the back sill of the tub. Flap. She glanced around, noting a few kids still playing tag in the commons¨Cand a bearlike mom scolding them from one of the open doors, telling them to come inside before they fell and cracked their heads on something. A kitsune couple were walking and talking merrily on a small footpath through the commons. They stopped to kiss in the cover of an evergreen¨Cbut visible, from her vantage point. Above, the stars slowly came into view, and she loved that unobstructed view. The lighting wasn¡¯t overwhelming like it was, back on Earth. It was like watching the starry nights in rural Vermont, where she went camping. But, none of the constellations were the same. She frowned, and couldn¡¯t find any she recognized. Sitting down, and for the first time, enjoying this world, was an experience she hadn¡¯t afforded herself since her arrival. She¡¯d have to find new ones¨Cor crack open an arcanist datapad, and find out the equivalents here. She glanced to the side, and gently poured a small amount of wine, before setting the temperature of the tub down. She heard the small swish of elementals working hard to cool it down, and the water went from near scalding, to a mellowing heat that felt like bliss on her skin. She leaned back and submerged to her chest, and let out a sound of delight. A low purring sound by the tub indicated Tucker had taken an interest, who was sitting on the patio, eyes glimmering with curiosity. ¡°What about you, Tucker? Do big cats like you swim?¡± she teased. ¡°It¡¯ll take you forever to dry off, though.¡± Tucker pretended he hadn¡¯t heard her. He licked his paw vigorously before eventually settling down next to her, in desperate need of head scritches. Even though her hand was wet, he didn¡¯t seem to mind, and purred gently. ¡°Yeah, mommy dearest needed to slow down a bit. I can¡¯t believe I find myself saying that! Who knew that this was a path I¡¯d ever thought I¡¯d enjoy?¡± she called out. He arched his head into her hand, purring and stretched up to the sill of the tub, and tapped the surface gently. He wrinkled his nose, before losing interest. ¡°Guess it¡¯s not for you, huh?¡± Fiona laughed. ¡°Mrrr.¡± He did stand vigil next to her, while she took a sip of wine from the glass she¡¯d carried with her. She wanted to get two glasses and a bottle, and a plus one out here, when she got the chance. Darla was a loveable flirt, but she had a boyfriend. She was pretty sure Bonnie and Greg were going to start dating at some point. They had that chemistry with one another, the subtle one that grew over time, between people who worked in close contact with one another. Or Lucy? Why am I drawn to complication? She let out a low tsk sound. That would be super complicated. Dating the future queen? Assuming Barry''s ass isn''t thrown out a window for all his idiots moves? And not even by me. ¡°What do you think Tucker, think they got Tinder for Cepalune?¡± she asked casually as stretched her legs out in the tub. The cat shook his head, and she froze.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it. That cat had done that again, like he knew what she was saying. How smart was this cat? She¡¯d found him, the runt of a litter, and taken him to the camp where they had been staying on a treasure search in some old ruins, before the campaign against Douglas the Red. ¡°Tucker, if you¡¯re someone who was magicked across the universe, and were stuck as a giant cat, you could tell me,¡± she assured him. ¡°Or, I¡¯m slowly going crazy in this place. Kinda hard to tell. Either way, I love this world. I love¡­being part of it, you know?¡± One slow blink later, Tucker let out the sound of a cat throwing shade at her by yawning, and meowing at the same time, before curling up next to the jacuzzi side. She peered at the cat intensely, and let out a soft laugh. ¡°Guess you agree with me, huh?¡± ¡°Mraaaow.¡± She leaned back against the tub and took another sip of wine, just her and her cat. She pondered the future. She would like to have someone to share this with. But, she wanted to do it on her own terms, and for herself. Sooner or later, she¡¯d pay off this bogus tax trap, and then, she was going to take a hammer to Barry¡¯s backside, to send him to low-Cepalune orbit. Her eyes widened at an idea she¡¯d had earlier, and a toothy grin emerged. ¡°You know something, Tucker, I gotta go check with Greg on something. I wonder if I can pay this bill in pennies. One second. How big is a coin?¡± She pulled out her arcanist pad and did some quick numbers. She loved this idea, and it was sure to be an absolute slight at that blonde-haired jerk. ¡°Tucker, I have an evil idea. I absolutely¨C¡± Poke. Her eyes widened at the poke on her thigh. Tucker was not in the tub, he was sleeping on the ground. Poke. She glanced to her right and saw something in the water, slightly amorphous, and a pair of beady eyes peering up from the water. It let out a small sound. ¡°Meep.¡± ¡°Kyaaaaaaaa!¡± She hadn¡¯t screamed in a long time. After facing death once, monsters in this world hadn¡¯t given her the urge to scream in terror. Not dragons, not giant wargs, not the knife-wielding kobolds, not the rodents of peculiar size, nothing. Except for this intruder in her jacuzzi, and she leaped from the jacuzzi in a shower of hot water, steamy vapors, and a fully nude, frazzled elf screaming like a little girl. She instinctively reached for her hammer haft that whipped into her hand, thanks to the recall enchantment. Her teeth were on edge, and she was ready to pulverize this would-be attacker. That amorphous blob peered up from the edge of the tub, with a pair of googly eyes and something resembling a mouth in that jelly-like substance that formed its body. It let out a low moaning sound, and almost smiled at her. She was ready to smash this thing into goo. ¡°LEWD SLIMES! I¡¯m gonna make you into alchemical potions if you don¡¯t clear out, you perv!¡± she screamed, hammer in hand and utterly naked and heaving with fury. ¡°Moooo.¡± the translucent green slime didn¡¯t have a care in the world, and bobbed on the surface of her jacuzzi. Not only that, but another one bobbed to the surface¨Ca bright blue one, now? It too, had a pair of googly-looking eyes it used to see around, and bobbed in the gentle current of the tub. ¡°Oh, just move right in, did ya?!¡± she snarled. Tucker lifted his body slowly to peer at these pests, having not even been disturbed by her shrill scream. He patted at one of the bobbing slimes, who reached out a slight tentacle of goo in response, almost high-fiving the cat. ¡°Tucker, kill it! It has invaded my holy sanctum!¡± She snarled. Tucker shook his head and looked almost¡­disapproving. ¡°Mow.¡± ¡°Tucker, it¡¯s a monster! It¡¯s in my tub! And it brought friends¨C¡± Two more slimes bobbed up, mottled green and blue, and smaller than the other two. They all let out that low cooing sound, and sounded utterly delighted at the heat of the tub, bobbing up and down. The two smaller slimes almost looked like¡­baby slimes? Fiona groaned, and looked down at herself, still naked, and just noticing how chilly it was. She grabbed a towel to get dried off, and hastily donned her still-dry swimsuit. ¡°Oh, you four are not staying!¡± she fumed. ¡°I didn¡¯t invite lewd slimes to join me in my private tub! Go find another person to bother!¡± ¡°Chuuuu.¡± They didn¡¯t have a care in the world, and Fiona glanced at her hammer before laying it down on the patio table. Smashing them would also likely smash her well-earned tub, and she groaned and put a hand to her face, utterly disgusted by this scenario. ¡°This is why I can¡¯t have nice things, Tucker.¡± ¡°Mrow.¡± Tucker responded by patting at the slimes, who seemed to enjoy being bobbed up and down, and Granny came out the back door of her apartment, sounding concerned. ¡°Fiona, what¡¯s wrong? You screamed like you were fighting some demon spawn!¡± Granny called out, dressed casually and her hair let down for the evening. Fiona pointed to the slimes bobbing in the pool, and not even having the words to describe this situation. Except, Granny started with a belly laugh. ¡°Oh-hoo-hoo, Fiona, that¡¯s a blessing! Those are Marthicus slimes! They¡¯re totally benign, they can¡¯t harm you.¡± ¡°They poked me and spooked me! Lewd slimes, Granny!¡± she bellowed out. Granny laughed even harder. ¡°Their eyesight is pretty bad, dear, they might not have even seen you in there. Oh, goodness, hang on.¡± She worked her way down to the patio, and let out a low chuckle as Tucker continued to use them like a toy ball, and they let out cooing, contented sounds. Granny leaned in, and patted one of the smaller ones on the head, where it made a louder cooing sound. ¡°They love the heat, dear, especially this time of year! They¡¯re a domesticated slime. Rare, too!¡± ¡°They¡¯ve invaded my future love nest,¡± Fiona snapped as she ran her fingers through her damp hair, and bundled tight against the chill air. ¡°What am I gonna do, they¡¯re a family of slimes! I can¡¯t smash them!¡± ¡°No, I daresay, you shouldn¡¯t. They¡¯re great to have around, actually! They dissolve nasty substances, ward off garden pests, and can also exfoliate the skin!¡± Granny declared proudly. Fiona glanced her way, skeptical of that claim. A dreaded notion started creeping into her consciousness. ¡°Say what? Have I been murdering environmentally beneficial slimes this whole time, and making them into alchemical reagents?¡± she asked nervously. Granny responded by draping an extra towel over her, since she was shivering. ¡°I¡¯m not cold, Granny. I¡¯m a northern girl, I can handle the cold.¡± ¡°And you¡¯ll chatter so hard, you¡¯ll crack your teeth,¡± she responded with a small tsk sound; eventually, Fiona did lean into the automatically warming towel, baked with a small enchantment stitched into the seam work. ¡°Ah, there, see? Anyway, the slimes love the heat and moisture, and if you take good care of them, they¡¯ll keep the tub clean of grime and germs.¡± Fiona raised an eyebrow and an ear at this. ¡°Really?¡± ¡°Cuuuu.¡± The large green slime gave a wave with one of its tentacles and a wobble of its eyes, as if approving of this suggestion. Fiona sighed in resignation. ¡°Okay, guys, but seriously, it¡¯s not a home for you! Clean up your slime trails, try not to dissolve anything that isn¡¯t edible, and please, no lewd poking,¡± she growled. ¡°Coooaaa, cuuu.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll take that as a ¡®Yes, ma¡¯am''. Granny, do you speak ¡®slime¡¯ out of curiosity?¡± she asked. Her landlord let out a deep-seated chuckle. ¡°Sometimes I think you¡¯re just blessed with fortune, Fiona.¡± She glanced anxiously at her wrist, where Wingding was flapping contentedly. ¡°Really interesting choice of words, Granny. Well, time to dry off. Guys, don¡¯t leave a mess,¡± she called out to the slimes, and they all waved lazily with a slimy appendage. She headed back inside with Granny still laughing at the spectacle, and Tucker rubbing against her leg and purring contentedly. Well, one thing was for sure: her tub had been blessed, alright. Just not in the way she thought it would be. The next day, she put out a signpost, and hummed cheerily before heading off to the emporium. Things were changing, and for the better...
Community hot tub for Baker¡¯s Way Plaza. Rules:
1. Don¡¯t bully the slimes¨Cthey keep it clean!
2. Maximum of six at a time.
3. Feed the elementals if they get hungry.
4. Clothes optional, but no lewdness.
5. Have Fun!
Newly Broke Heroine: End of Volume One If you guys haven''t, help me get visibility on my story by adding a follow, add a favorite, and give the story a Rating! More visibility means more people get to read about the antics of Fiona and company! Vol. 2, Ch. 51: Still Broke Heroine Fiona stirred from her slumber to the sound of something like a motor. Not the motor of traffic just outside her apartment. A certain feline motor sound. She opened her eyes, and saw nothing but sleek black and blue fur¨Cand a distinct heavy weight on her chest. She mumbled something softly to the cat to politely stop trying to suffocate her in her sleep, and the cat sprawled out further, purring and kneading his claws. ¡°Tucker, get off. I¡¯m getting all sweaty and gross between your immense body heat, and the comforter,¡± she grumbled. Tucker responded by grooming her hair with his tongue, purring louder as he did it. ¡°Ewww, I know you love me, but I don¡¯t taste that good.¡± She lightly pushed the cat away, and he edged his claws into the blanket to root himself in place. This cat knew how to annoy her, and she pushed a tangle of red hair out of her face. ¡°Tucker, I¡¯m gonna get up. I have work. I know you love cuddles, but mommy dearest has a career, and a tax debt to get rid of.¡± ¡°Meow.¡± She couldn¡¯t help but feel the cat was sassing her as she pushed him off and threw off the covers. She rubbed the sleepiness from her eyes, and raised her arms over her head with a loud yawn. ¡°And how¡¯s the Wingding doing this morning¨C¡± She stared at the blank spot where Wingding would be, and an instant panic ensued. She jumped out of bed in a heartbeat, staring at the blank spot, ignoring the sweaty grossness, and feeling her fatigue burning off in an instant. ¡°Wingding? Where did you go?¡± No response. But she could feel a faint¡­presence in the back of her mind. A tingle of something that wasn¡¯t herself. She rolled back the sleeves of her nightwear in a frenzy, looking for Wingding. It¡¯s not like she could take off, right?! ¡°Wingding, if you are playing a game of hide and seek, this is so not cool!¡± she bellowed out loud. Both arms turned up nothing. Both legs turned up nothing. She hoped Wingding wasn¡¯t hiding somewhere she shouldn¡¯t¨C She took off her nightshirt and examined herself¨Cnot in admiration of her fit body, but, more like looking frantically for a lost child. Where was she?! A furry paw touched her back, and Tucker was batting at her playfully. Fiona whirled around, and glared at him. ¡°This is no time for play, Tucker! Wingding is gone!¡± ¡°Mrow.¡± Tucker seemingly pointed his paw at her, and then, a thought occurred to her. Maybe he was trying to tell her something? ¡°Mow-mow.¡± ¡°Tucker, are you saying something? Is there¡­something on my back?¡± She turned her head to examine her back, and let out a sigh of relief. ¡°Oh, there you are, you little rascal!¡± She couldn¡¯t quite see it by craning her head, but the mirror by the dresser revealed Wingding hiding by her spine, midway up her back, wings flapping softly¨Calmost like an ornithopter, and bobbing up and down lightly. She swore she could feel the wingbeats on her back, too, and she pointed at her mark. ¡°Hey, not cool! I didn¡¯t know you could move! Oh, but thank goodness you didn¡¯t get lost!¡± A knock on the door practically made her jump, and she cursed quietly¨Cshe was an elf, no one should sneak up on her, on account of her sensitive ears! Then again, the sneaks didn¡¯t knock. ¡°Who is it?¡± she called out, and threw her nightshirt back on. ¡°Fiona dear? I heard a shout, who were you talking to?¡± She let out an exhale of relaxation as she got to the door, once she recognized Granny¡¯s voice. ¡°Oh, talking to Tucker! This little booger, uh, he wouldn¡¯t get off, and I have work soon!¡± she explained. It was the truth. Mostly. She doubted anyone ever actually talked to their marks¨Cthat she knew of. ¡°Who is Wingding, then?¡± ¡°Uh, It¡¯s a nickname! For the cat! He can be such a Wingding!¡± she called out, anxious that she might have been in a bit of a panic mode, a little too loudly. Tucker yawned in protest, and proceeded to lick his paw. ¡°Oh, alright then dear. Are you headed into the store, soon?¡± She opened the door and looked like only a slightly hot mess when Granny chuckled and saw her appearance. ¡°Oh, I guess not dressed like that. You look like you just woke up.¡± ¡°I did. Do you ever get the feeling that something is missing? And that you never really lost it, and it was hiding there the whole time?¡± she asked abstractly. Flap. Wingding let her answer be known, while Granny raised a paper bag. ¡°Don''t I know that feeling, dear. Oh, since I was here, I bought an extra muffin over at Fannie¡¯s bakery, just down the row. Do you mind cinnamon chip?¡± ¡°Oooh! I love it! Thank you so much!¡± Her smile cracked past frazzled hair and the early hour, and she took the treat in hand. ¡°Alright, guess I better go downgrade to less of a hot mess and get ready for work, I¡¯ll see you later Gemma!¡± ¡°You too, dear,¡± Fiona closed the door gently and took a sniff of the still-warm bakery treat, and felt that cinnamon scent fuse with all the receptors of delight in her brain. Granny was always so nice to her! One enthusiastic flap later, Fiona glanced at the mirror, and smoothed her hair. ¡°Alright, shower time, then I suppose we need to talk to Bonnie about you, and your new game of hide and seek!¡± she added as Wingding hovered in place on her wrist, and gave a wave of one wing¨Cwith what almost looked like a thumbs-up. One quick shower, hairdressing, and change of clothes later, Fiona was ready for the day. All the while, Wingding showed her new mobility. Fiona found it a little odd that the mark wasn¡¯t content to rest on her wrist anymore. What, exactly, did that mean?
The lake was beautiful, even with the overcast sky, the full autumn bloom of leaves put out a prominent display of bright colors. She swore that fall didn¡¯t last this long, back on Earth¨Cmaybe there was something about the world that was a little different, maybe they were closer to the equator? Either way, she took a deep breath of that cool, crisp air and the scent of leaves fluttering nearby. The shop was just in front of her, with a hint of frost glazed on the windows. The sun would make short work of it as it started creeping over the buildings adjacent to it. Greg was coming up the row from his apartment, and Bonnie was right next to him, looking as fluffy as ever, cozy in a light sweater and leggings. ¡°Hey guys, morning to ya!¡± She had this feeling those two had been more than a little cozy of late. About her only hint of this was seeing them holding hands for a split second, before they both abruptly pulled away, smiling and waving back. Oooh, what¡¯s a mischievous elf to do, call them out on it? Nah, some other time, when maximum matchmaking can be attained! She wasn¡¯t used to waiting, but this one seemed like it would be worth it. She wondered if Bonnie had taken the leap of faith when they''d talked, a couple of weeks ago.This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. ¡°Morning Fiona! Are you ready to slay some sales, and possibly lay some dragons?¡± Bonnie heckled as they closed the gap. ¡°Hah! You know, I don¡¯t mind dating other Folk, but uh, I¡¯ve had bad experiences with dragons already, Bon-bon. Doug was polite¨Ceven if he was having a low-key meltdown as I was using him like a punching bag!¡± She unlocked the door with the runic key, just as Bonnie and Greg closed the distance, and she politely held the door for them. Darla was already inside at her station, having gotten to work at grinding beans and preparing for the day. She gave them a wave, and a sultry air kiss that left Greg looking more scarecrow than usual, and a sly smile from Bonnie. That scent of roast beans and other hints of confectionery delights left Fiona with a beaming smile. This was the best kind of morning, she figured¨Cfree of past life apocalypses¨C She froze in her steps, and fought against that horrible memory, trying to will it away. That thought again. No. I¡¯m past this. That life might be gone, and there was still hope that the military could pull a win out of it. I hurt one of those monsters with nothing more than a lot of luck and willingness to die, to make that happen. Others could have done the same. The thought brought back her brimming good mood¨Csomewhat. Bonnie¡¯s right, I don¡¯t know what the end result was. Maybe there are other people with powers on Earth? The thought brought an even more puzzling thought: What if she didn¡¯t die? What if she¡¯d had powers that had triggered at the last second? She glanced at Wingding, on her wrist. Girl, were you there this whole time, but you had to hide? More worrying, was the complete lack of response by Wingding. ¡°Fiona, you¡¯re puzzling over Wingding again¨Cwhich, by the way, I can see as clear as day.¡± Bonnie¡¯s hand on her shoulder broke her focus, and she peered at her softened expressions and even softer red fur. ¡°You okay?¡± ¡°Bonnie, how often do the marks change?¡± ¡°Well, for some who want to take a new class every other month, quite a bit. They become a tapestry of our souls, in a way. Ah, listen to me talk, I¡¯m gonna scare you with all these big words!¡± she grinned pointedly, and Darla handed her a cup of coffee, much to her surprise. ¡°Thanks, Darla.¡± ¡°I need my partners at the top of their game. You guys do well, I do well, that kind of jazz. I¡¯m like the party support class,¡± Darla purred with a flash of teeth and soft golden eyes, the sunbeams from the window dazzling on her blue skin. She was dressed in her typical black tie, vest, and collared shirt, with a small apron to avoid spills. Her nails were painted a deep purple today, and she peered at Fiona¡¯s wrist. ¡°Hey. Wasn¡¯t Wingding on your left hand, before?¡± ¡°Little Miss Mystery can apparently move! Girl, show them your trick!¡± Fiona declared aloud. All eyes were on Fiona as Wingding disappeared up her sleeve, tickling her skin and running along her back and shoulders, before making her way, much to the amazement of everyone. Bonnie gasped when she saw Wingding fluttering. ¡°So? We¡¯re all staring at the spectacle of Miss Swiftheart?¡± Greg asked dryly. ¡°Greg, marks don¡¯t move, and don¡¯t respond to people¡¯s voices!¡± Bonnie glanced at him and animatedly pointed to Fiona¡¯s wrist. ¡°This is exceptional. I¡¯m calling it, I think Wingding isn''t just a mark!¡± ¡°Bonnie, there are many strange magics of the world, and the classes are well established in their effects. Well, most of them.¡± Mister all-too-serious just won''t let us have this moment, Fiona thought acidly. Behind Fiona, there was a flutter of wings, and Kali dropped in with a perfect landing¨Cthough his clothes were a little ruffled, and he happily took a cup of coffee from the darling, golden-eyed darkling once he was inside. ¡°One thing I love about wings? I¡¯m rarely late if I can just fly over the foot traffic,¡± he announced proudly, before taking a sip out of the mug awkwardly with his beak. Darla chuckled softly at that when he let out a hoot of excitement. ¡°It¡¯s just coffee. What do they feed you at that orphanage?¡± Darla asked, tail swaying back and forth slowly, and her lips creasing upwards as she leaned on the counter. ¡°Staggeringly mediocre meals. Thank you for the drink, truly,¡± he praised, and glanced at the others. ¡°Hey, what¡¯s with the looks at our resident zany business owner?¡± ¡°Oh, you better mind your tone, mister flight risk,¡± Bonnie snapped, but Fiona gave a hand of restraint. ¡°What, he doesn¡¯t get to call you zany!¡± ¡°From him, it''s a compliment, and I am zany. Me saying otherwise, would be a lie!¡± Fiona showed the little magical trick that Wingding had picked up, and his raptor eyes dilated. ¡°Why does weird stuff always happen when I¡¯m around you guys?¡± he asked anxiously. ¡°I know, right? It¡¯s not like I can¡¯t just run my business without magical drama. Well, shall we get ready for the day? We open in fifteen minutes,¡± Fiona reminded them, and gave them all a nod of approval. ¡°Let¡¯s make this place shine!¡± The doors opened to a small crowd of eager customers, who all took a liking to Darla¡¯s delightful treats at the front counter, and she gave them all a polite nod. Fiona could hear the clink of numerous copper, some silvers¨Ceven gold coins as people left generous tips and donations, and sat back in the handful of tables and chairs. The fireplace nearby gave off warmth and light, much to their benefit. The older folks took their time with newspapers and baked treats, and sipped coffee sparsely while talking to each other quietly, ruminating about old times and hearty tales. All she had to do, this early, was lean back and smile, sipping coffee from the coziness of her kiosk. The real crowd would be here usually a short time later, and Greg was busily adjusting the displays. ¡°I think we should move these smaller items up by the kiosk. People always want these little potions and remedies at the last second, not thinking about them until they¡¯ve left¨CFiona, are you humming?¡± She continued to hum to an old tune, smiling contentedly. It was a small comfort, thinking of the world that came before. She stopped to take a glance at Greg, smiling. ¡°You know something? Six months ago, I was lost. Now¡­now I feel like I found something I was missing. Except¡­it wasn¡¯t. I think I had it a long time ago.¡± ¡°And what¡¯s that?¡± ¡°A place to put my heart into.¡± Greg smiled faintly at that notion, and set his datapad aside. ¡°There¡¯s value in that, Fiona. One beyond measure. Sure, Barrimeth might have dealt us a bad hand, but we¡¯re beating expectations, ever since the harvest festival.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve read the numbers. Things are looking up!¡± She did a fist pump for emphasis, and even his stoic face couldn¡¯t help but show a smirk. It was then though, that she saw over his shoulder, someone come in the main door¨Csomeone she hadn¡¯t heard back from, ever since her first day of being a merchant. ¡°Hey, Greg. We have company here.¡± He took the cue and turned around, wearing a polite smile and an arm extended outward. ¡°Greetings, Clarke. To what do we owe the pleasure?¡± The professionally dressed clerk was holding a notepad tucked in a vest pocket, and looking at Fiona with keen interest. ¡°I¡¯m here for Miss Swiftheart. Can we talk in private? This concerns her merchant license. Not in a bad way, mind you." Fiona stood up, and smoothed back her hair. ¡°Yeah, let¡¯s go into my office. We¡¯ll talk there. Greg, can you attend to the kiosk for a bit?¡± He nodded silently, and she gestured to Clarke to follow. Wingding, why do I get this feeling this is going to be something really weird? You think this is going to be some kind of massive surprise? One wingbeat was all it took for her to confirm it. Once she latched the door to her office and gestured for Clarke to take a seat, she hopped into her slightly worn office chair. It was still cozy, if a bit of a second-hand effect. She leaned in, waiting for him to make the first move. ¡°I¡¯ve seen the store. You¡¯ve done excellent work, Miss Swiftheart, for only being in business for less than a month,¡± he offered in a congratulatory tone. ¡°It¡¯s rare to see people kick-off that quickly from an opening.¡± ¡°We had some tailwinds helping. So, uh, what¡¯s up? The last time I heard from you, you said you were still digging for my uh¡­situation.¡± Clarke put the notebook on the table, and the inkwork came to life¨Cjust like Greg¡¯s strange abilities. Letters and images started whirling into the air, projecting findings¨Cand even animations of various ancient battles¨Cand winged beings fighting in the skies. ¡°Okay, I like the kids'' picture book, but¨C¡± she trailed off, she had a feeling she knew this was not going places she wanted. His solemn expression was highlighted by the dancing lights of the illustrations. ¡°Fiona¡­there is a history to your mark.¡± She leaned forward. ¡°Okay. What about it? I mean it¡¯s pretty cool and all, and Wingding here has been acting out, like a¡­tattooed teenager.¡± Clarke closed the notebook. ¡°It¡¯s the mark of a goddess that has been dead for almost five thousand years. No one has had this mark, until you showed up.¡± Vol. 2, Ch. 52: Wing And A Prayer Well, this is just what I expected this was going to lead to. Fiona stared blankly at Clarke for a good fifteen seconds, watching his expression morph from concern, into confusion. Wingding, psst, hey, care to chime in on this one? What was more telling is that Wingding was utterly still, she felt that tiny spark of her presence recede from her mind. She took that as her sign that this was something that shouldn¡¯t be talked about in front of Clarke. For now. She leaned back and composed herself. ¡°Mister Clarke, really, it¡¯s just a winged heart. I¡¯m a merchant. It makes sense, plus before I uh¡­got the universal transmigration tour, I did art when I was younger! I drew hearts, all the time!¡± Even with her elven charm and warming smile, Clarke would not be deterred. ¡°Miss Swiftheart, I know you don¡¯t think this is a big deal. Or, you do, and you¡¯re just playing coy. So, which is it, for you?¡± ¡°Which one gets me an answer faster on why you¡¯re acting all doomy?¡± she pressed, and folded her hands together on her desk. ¡°Because, I have a place to run, and customers that come in on a routine basis. When I¡¯m not there, sales plummet.¡± ¡°The answer to that one depends on keeping your interest.¡± He opened the notebook again, and offered it to her. ¡°Given that you are not of this world, I¡¯m not surprised you know little about this¨Cif anything.¡± She frowned¨Cshe hated being on the back foot, and she had, indeed, been reading into the history of Cepalune. But it would be an understatement to say that she was woefully lacking in knowledge. ¡°Clarke, I¡¯ve done my research. I never came across the mark anywhere else. I don¡¯t even think I fully understand the classes just yet, either.¡± ¡°Then perhaps it¡¯s time for a brief history lesson. I know you have an emporium to attend to so I¡¯ll reconvene with you in person, at a time and place of your choosing.¡± He pointed to a scribble of writing¨Chis own notes. ¡°The marks were the product of terrible times. An ancient race threatened to destroy or enslave all the other folk races¨Cthey were not of Cepalune, as has been suggested. The living gods of our worlds took this personally, came down from the heavens, and gave the tribes the first marks, to battle against them.¡± ¡°Hang on. I¡¯ve read about this, and I think that¡¯s stupid!¡± She leaned forward in her chair, having at least glanced at this. ¡°You¡¯re telling me they waited till the entire world was in peril, to step in? What a load of crock. Are you sure it¡¯s not some naturally occurring phenomenon?¡± ¡°Miss Swiftheart? I can go over these details, but I¡¯d be at it for a while, and I¡¯m sure you don¡¯t want a lecture.¡± She gazed at him, sizing his rather muted response, and withdrawn look. ¡°The marks we carry are their gift to us. There may be a time again when they will be needed to ensure our survival. Everyone has one, to varying extents. You were the first I¡¯ve seen who didn¡¯t have a mark on you¨Cwhich is, by itself, unique.¡± ¡°Look, Clarke, I¡¯m not trying to make a splash, I¡¯m not. So, tell me about these gods and goddesses. I¡¯ve heard they¡¯re kinda shy, and I haven¡¯t been to a church in¡­uh¡­well, never. Minus weddings,¡± she added wryly. ¡°The gods don¡¯t need worshippers to exist. There is a debate whether they are just superpowered beings with marks above and beyond what is currently known¨Can entirely different tier of classes, reaching the apex of mortality.¡± Clarke opened the notepad to show off several tall, regal-looking beings. Some looked human¨Cothers looked like the avians, yet others looked like bipedal dragons, a few were elven looking. ¡°How many were there?¡± ¡°Many. Unfortunately, we do know that new gods join the ranks, and others disappear, but we are not sure of the mechanisms on how that happens. Many have tried to do such a thing, and numerous craters stand as monuments to those who failed.¡± She raised an eyebrow at this. ¡°Well, duh! Gods don¡¯t like it when some new kid comes around the block! That has to be a pretty exclusive club. How is there not more known?¡± ¡°They generally keep to themselves and occasionally stick their nose into mortal business. Though, even gods can die.¡± He showed another pictorial showing a few of the gods warring with each other¨Ctowering over thousands of foot soldiers, in a scene of brutality. One goddess impaled another brute of a man with a golden spear, delicately illustrated in capturing the violence. ¡°What¡¯s this depict?¡± ¡°The Godschism. Five thousand years ago, the gods were at war, when one of them murdered another. Accusations flew, based on the few mortals able to witness the events. The gods did have a certain alignment to them, and battle lines broke out, each faction accusing the other of the heinous crime. Almost every class descends from at least one of them. And some of the class markings, take on a similarity to their parent sigil.¡± Clarke pointed to a tall, elegant draconian warrior dressed in blue and white armor, braids of feathery white hair tucked back behind a small golden circlet, and holding a gleaming blue blade. ¡°Mirana, goddess of hope, strength of arms, and discipline. Sometimes referred to as Gaia, the world-shielding dragoness, in the form of a massive green-eyed, silver-scaled dragon. She hasn¡¯t been seen in a long time, but her symbols still exist. Some theorize that she was disgusted by the Godschism and the bloodshed it spawned, and left our world for another.¡± He pointed at another, an elven with daggers circling him, as if by magic. ¡°Kanael, God of deception, trickery, and secret hunting. Rumors were that he was the one who instigated the conflict. But, no proof was ever discovered. Those two are of many that are known to exist¨Cor have existed.¡± Fiona peered at the image. A few looked faintly like her old Pathfinder gods¨Cbut that must be a sheer coincidence. ¡°So, who was killed, and why?¡± ¡°A goddess who accurately predicted the arrival of the Outsiders. Eldritch abominations from beyond our realm of existence, seven thousand years ago¨Cthe threat we faced that could have ended our world. She was the first to rise against them. The first to grant her class mark to others.¡± he turned the page to show that various markings of the gods, and some of them did indeed, look like class marks, with various permutations. Weapons, animals, trees, winged creatures¨Cthere was a variety of representations. Clarke¡¯s finger traced the page, and stopped at one. Her eyes widened at the appearance of an all-too-familiar winged heart, with jeweled facets forming the beautiful symbol. They gleamed on the page as if they gave off their own light, and she shook her head as if she were dispelling an illusion. When she looked again, the page seemed¡­plain¡ªlacking vividness. ¡°Clarke. Why haven¡¯t I come across this, before?¡± ¡°Because I had to track it down to the source. This particular symbol has been forgotten, and hasn¡¯t been seen in so long, I had to talk to the Bar¡¯dathi clan, the closest elven community of significance. Even then, they were close-lipped about it. I think I might know why.¡± He turned the page, one more time. She squinted her eyes, to an image of two gods. The first, was a male elven with light armor, a halo of light at his head and looking solemn, and wrapping his hands around an elven female in a loving embrace. An elven that looked¨CLove this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit. She squinted and peered closer. The woman looked¡­almost like her. More slender face, and blue eyes. But, she had the same tangle of bright red hair as her, looking content, and the jeweled heart was etched into her shimmering gown. She tapped the picture, for emphasis. ¡°Who is she?¡± ¡°Feo¡¯thari. The Goddess of Fortune.¡± ¡°She looks like my mom, kinda. I mean, I didn¡¯t have pointy ears when I was¨Cwell, where I was from.¡± She felt her heart racing. No way. Was my mother keeping secrets, chilling on Earth, with the rest of the mortals? No, she aged as I got older, and he just said this goddess is gone. Even though I resented her, she never would have held a secret like this. Clarke gazed at her curiously as her finger shook slightly when she traced the page. ¡°Clarke, I¡¯m not her. It¡¯s a coincidence. And my mom looks a little similar, but¡­¡± ¡°You show up, from nowhere, without a summoner, bearing the mark of a dead goddess?¡± he asked calmly, his eyes focused on the illustration. ¡°Things haven¡¯t been going right on Cepalune in a long time, Fiona. I know it might be a cheery place, here, in the Unified Kingdoms. But there are many places, it is not so cheery. We are fortunate to have built and defended our freedoms, against those who desire power and control.¡± ¡°What are you trying to say, Clarke? That I¡¯m a dead goddess brought back to life, through some divine fluke? That that is me?¡± She pointed accusingly at the still image, her breath sharp and angry. He regarded her with a slow tilt of an open hand, the immenseness of this discovery weighing on his face. ¡°Have you not considered it? No one knows how the gods replenish their numbers. Or why do some just disappear? Perhaps they hid themselves away, in mortals, in the far corners of the universe, waiting for some moment to reemerge.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s get one thing straight. I died, Clarke. I died horribly. I tried to take down a monstrous, eldritch dragon horror on my world, in my last act of protecting those I cared about. One massive monster that was one of many tearing up our civilization, and I gave it my best by trying to drop several hundred thousand tons of a collapsing building on it. It got up from that.¡± Clarke blinked, and opened his mouth to speak, but she put out a hand for him to hold for a moment. ¡°I must have killed dozens of the little ones in a last-woman-standing holdout. But I ran out of ammo, explosives, knives, and willpower to keep fighting. Especially with a piece of debris lodged in my torso. My last thoughts? It was for my ex-girlfriend, and praying I¡¯d bought enough time for people to flee. Her included.¡± Her posture finally gave way, and she slumped, as if talking about this with someone other than her friends, drained the life out of her. ¡°Those last moments are lodged in my memory like they¡¯re ingrained in my skull. They are never going away. You, dumping this on my plate? Is the last thing I need.¡± ¡°So, you have no memories of anything else, other than¨C¡± ¡°No.¡± She was adamant that there weren''t other foreign thoughts lurking in her head. ¡°One of two things is possible. One, I¡¯m a reborn goddess, and no one gave me the first clue on how to be one. I couldn¡¯t even run a shop, back on Earth, without drama and struggling to make ends meet!¡± ¡°What¡¯s the second possibility?¡± ¡°When whoever brought me here, they took some poor soul, and dumped me in her body. Because it¡¯s not mine, I mean it¡¯s close, but it''s not¡­me. You know?¡± her lips trembled slightly, wary that she¡¯d considered this possibility, but never thought it was realistically possible. ¡°Clarke? I¡¯m a ghost running around in a biological automaton, if that¡¯s true. Both outcomes are immensely disturbing. Like, existential dread levels of disturbing.¡± ¡°I know. Which is why I have told no one of this research I have conducted.¡± He closed the notebook gently. ¡°There is more, of course, and a third, possibly more complicated explanation. I think the more realistic take is that you were brought here by a god, or goddess¨Conly they would have the power to pull you here in such a way. At least, without an elaborate setup to ensure your body and consciousness wasn¡¯t smeared across the boundaries of reality.¡± ¡°Descriptive, and gross.¡± She suddenly felt like this room was too stifling for her taste. ¡°But why me?¡± ¡°I am hoping you could tell me. You don¡¯t remember anything else?¡± She frowned. There was one other time in recent memory. ¡°I think someone did speak to me. There was this random thought I had. But it wasn¡¯t mine? Like someone else was projecting thoughts in my head. ¡®Is this the way you want this to end, Fiona¡¯ is about all I remember. And I think there¡¯s more. Or, you know, it was my last gasp of consciousness, and it was just me, as I was bleeding out on the ground, about to be crushed by a vengeful eldritch dragon.¡± She straightened up her posture. ¡°Clarke. Two things. Wingding¨Cer, my mark¨Cis animated. I think she¡¯s alive. I¡¯ve been teaching her simple code language so I can try to speak to her. I¡¯m starting to get something out of her, but it¡¯s like trying to teach a toddler. Are there any other individuals that have a mark like that, act like it¡¯s alive?¡± ¡°None that I know of. And you trust me with this knowledge, why?¡± He didn¡¯t even question her assertion, surprisingly. ¡°Because I don¡¯t want King Barry to ever get wind of this. That creep already has it out for me. If he thinks he has a pocket goddess in his kingdom, while his dad is taking an admittedly much-needed break? My life goes from relatively normal, to complete chaos. Also, the second thing is, would the Bar¡¯dathi elves have any indication of being able to tell me more? At least who I am?¡± He peered at her in curiosity, and his face brightened. ¡°Maybe. Their elders¨Cyours, I suppose¨Ccan live a long time. There may be some that could recount what happened when Feo¡¯thari died or the exact circumstances. But, it¡¯s such old history that I doubt you¡¯ll get far.¡± ¡°Where is Vale, exactly?¡± she hadn¡¯t actually looked it up on a map. ¡°South. The elven roaming settlements have been a bulwark against that cesspool for a long time, and Greybeard has gone to great lengths to ensure a powerful alliance between ourselves and them. Though, they do choose a fairly nonmaterial existence.¡± She let out a puff of air. ¡°Tree-hugging elves. Fun. I¡¯ve got something to mull over for a bit¨C¡± She heard a shuffle at the door. No, not shoes. The click of claws. She smiled as she had a figure for who it was. ¡°Bonnie, don¡¯t hex him the second he comes out, that¡¯s a big no-no! Clerks are friends, not enchantment practice!¡± The door creaked open, and Bonnie and Greg were stacked at the door, looking moody. Clarke looked averse at the new arrivals, and then looked to her for approval. ¡°Fiona, are your friends¨C¡± ¡°In the loop, and I¡¯m keeping it that way. Clarke, I have an idea. And it might be an intersection of business needs, and personal needs.¡± ¡°Tell me we¡¯re not going to Vale. Tell me we are not helping that little creep bail himself out of whatever giant dung heap that he stepped in,¡± Bonnie uttered with a throaty growl. ¡°We have a shop to run, Fiona! We can¡¯t just have you go out for potentially weeks or months of negotiations!¡± ¡°Bonnie? Weird stuff is happening. And I¡¯m just a tiny bit terrified that Wingding here might have some answers. If I can get her to use more than a few letters to mime out answers with my Morse code, maybe we¡¯ll have something new to follow.¡± She rolled up her sleeve to show Wingding giving a cocky and enthusiastic flap of her wings. ¡°We¡¯re not going to Vale, Fiona! It¡¯s a cesspool!¡± Bonnie groaned. ¡°Well, if Vale is as bad as you say it is, I¡¯ll probably have a lot of fun flattening it.¡± ¡°Fiona, we can¡¯t possibly do this without you. You¡¯re the selling point of the store! I can¡¯t do what you do nearly as well!¡± Greg also sounded worried, despite his typical composure and straight face. ¡°Unless push comes to shove, we can¡¯t have you go do this farce of a negotiation with Vale, to help Barry!¡± ¡°But, Lucy needs our help on this. What if Barry is in over his head, and takes the kingdom down through incompetence? Or inflict lasting damage his dad can¡¯t undo easily?¡± She put her hands on her hips, and waited for Greg to come up with a counter. ¡°Girl, unless you can magically teleport to this store on a whim, that deal isn¡¯t gonna happen, and we don¡¯t know what scheme Barry is cooking just yet. We¡¯re going to have to find another way,¡± Bonnie concluded. ¡°Clarke, thank you for your discretion on this so far. I was worried you might drop some kind of bombshell on Fiona, and it appears I was right.¡± ¡°I think at this point, the truth is indeterminate. I can continue to investigate, only because I worry about what those who are more prone to panicky reactions may do. The appearance of a mark like this, could cause waves. I prefer not to do that.¡± It¡¯s at this time that Clarke noticed Greg, and gave him a gentle head nod. ¡°I see you¡¯ve finally found a vocation of the less¡­dramatic type.¡± ¡°Hah. Look at who I work with, and say that with a straight face.¡± No amount of elven glaring in the world could get the smirk off his face. ¡°Guys, we need to get to the bottom of this one, sooner or later. Let¡¯s try to find a way where we can do business, while we go on a field trip.¡± ¡°The shop doesn¡¯t have wings, unlike your mark,¡± Bonnie quipped. Fiona felt an elven grin emerge, and Bonnie went wide-eyed. ¡°No, Fiona. Do not even attempt to ask me to levitate a whole store. That will end badly.¡± ¡°Oh hey, maybe we go take it for a test flight over by the palace first¨C¡± ¡°No, Fiona.¡± She was more annoyed that even Darla called out the disapproval, all the way from her booth. It was like she knew when elven mischief was afoot. Vol. 2, Ch. 53: Day Of Lost Souls A few days later, at the end of the week, Fiona was squealing for joy at her new favorite thing in Cepalune: Holidays. ¡°So, let me see if I get this straight, Fiona. Earth had this holiday called Halloween.¡± Bonnie stood there, arms folded and eyes glimmering with interest at her red-haired friend, now carefully balancing on a ladder to hang up a garland of arcane lights¨Call properly ran to display orange and purple lights. ¡°Yep. It was a day of festivities! If I¡¯m the last woman alive from Earth, I¡¯ve gotta make sure to spread the best traditions!¡± she beamed with shiny green eyes, and tacked the strand of lights in place on the second-floor railing, with the cashier kiosk just below her. She fed another strand of lights and pinned it in place, humming merrily. ¡°This is Cepaween, This is Cepaween, Cepaween, Cepaween! Eh¡­doesn¡¯t have the same ring as the original,¡± she sighed. Greg peered up at her practically dancing on the ladder, and held it steady. ¡°Miss Swiftheart, if you crack your head open upon the floor, you won¡¯t be able to enjoy any festivities whatsoever! Do be careful and come on down from there, will you? I feel my blood pressure being uncomfortably tested in our joint venture. And not because of financial challenges¨Cwe¡¯re actually ahead of schedule.¡± ¡°Greg, Elves are fleet of foot, like cats! We¡¯ll always land on our feet!¡± she cackled. She hadn¡¯t tested that theory, but her dexterity was unprecedented. Then, a thought occurred to her. ¡°Hey Greg. there are periodicals about elves, and all the various Folk biology, right?¡± ¡°Biology?¡± he squinted at her, as if unsure of what she had just said. Then, he snapped his fingers. ¡®Ah. Anatomy, physiology, and the various sciences of the human body. Yes, there are quite a few. Why?¡± ¡°Because I¡¯m an elf now, and I don¡¯t know how uh¡­everything works just yet?¡± She earned herself the blank stare special from Greg, on that statement. ¡°Look, just roll with it, okay?¡± ¡°Fiona, are you saying you never even looked up any biology of elves?¡± Bonnie queried, trying to stifle a snicker. ¡°Girl, how you run a business, and not know these things about yourself, is as amusing as it is horrifying, just saying.¡± ¡°I mean I¡¯m just a human with pointy ears, right? And slightly sharper canines. I don¡¯t really get that one, but whatever. I¡¯m in a magical world with red-furred fox girls, demoness baristas, and a remarkably vanilla guy who could very much pass as a normal dude back on Earth!¡± ¡°I revel in normalcy. It is my center, to remain abjectly plain and uninteresting. Thus, allowing me to achieve my lifetime goals uninterrupted, and with few adversaries to stop me.¡± Greg even did a meditating monk pose in the process. Though, she had to wonder: if there were gods in this world, people worshiped them, right? Clarke had indicated as such. This was going to mess with her head, the fact that at least one of them had taken an interest in her. Probably. ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s boring for me,¡± Fiona grunted. ¡°I also think you¡¯re suffering from some seriously unresolved issues from your arrival here,¡± Greg stated candidly. ¡°My conjecture? You¡¯re still trying to find your center. Maybe slow down a bit, and¡­try to do that?¡± She needed to focus on the immediate things, first. ¡°Look, Greg, there¡¯s a day coming up where the literal undead roam the streets in parade floats, among other things! I think I better start brushing up on more than the basics. Sheesh, how do the other summons do this? Or, do they just not care?¡± She did ponder this¨Cwere all the summoned a bunch of selfish, murder-hobo gamers? That would explain the remarkably short life expectancy of them. So far, she¡¯d managed to study and train under the best and brightest of the Adventurer¡¯s guild. If she hadn¡¯t stumbled into Jake and company, her odds of becoming monster chow might have been a lot higher, early on. ¡°I mean, look, I¡¯ve been to the library to brush up. But there¡¯s so much to learn! Elven Biology 101 really didn¡¯t register, ya know?¡± ¡°Well, at least our girl here has the initiative to become a part of Cepalune, rather than raze it to the ground,¡± Bonnie called out as she got the last light strand up and connected The common area was basked with an orange and golden glow, with motes of purple light intervening. ¡°Oh hey, you know what? I love this color scheme! Greg! We¡¯re keeping this forever!¡± she declared with a cackle, and a fist bump with Fiona as she dismounted the ladder. ¡°This will drive customers away, for sure,¡± he grumbled. ¡°Darla, what color schemes do they use in Underlune?¡± ¡°Wait, do you guys use an on-the-nose name for the deep depths of Cepalune?¡± Fiona asked. ¡°We do, and no one ever really objected to it. We also have the market cornered on tours for caverns. Strangely, many people are willing to pay money to dive deep into the world in search of secrets and treasure. They usually just find lava. It¡¯s not a fun thing for them to find,¡± Darla explained, all the while balancing a cup of coffee on her tail¨Chow did she do that, exactly? Fiona figured it might be a class power¨Cexceptional balance. She¡¯d waited tables a time or two in her youth, and she hated every waking moment of it, and Darla continued. ¡°Anyway, golds and reds are seen a lot, but you¡¯ll also see a lot of royal greens. The mushrooms that grow in the caverns have a natural pigment that can be used for dying fabrics, to surprising effect.¡± ¡°A mushroom kingdom,¡± Fiona breathed. ¡°Any chance you guys got plumbers in overalls down there?¡± ¡°I feel like this is something that only Fiona would get,¡± Greg grunted as he ran his fingers through his wavy hair, and adjusted his glasses before peering at his arcanist datapad. ¡°You know, this does feel on theme with the day of lost souls.¡± ¡°The day of what now?¡± Fiona asked, confused. ¡°The day of lost souls. As you¡¯ve witnessed many times in your treasure dives, death is not always a constant. Reanimated bones are rather common. I find it¡¯s better when they reanimate after the rest of the uh¡­filling¡­is all properly gone,¡± Greg added hastily. ¡°Yeah. You and I both. What¡¯s with that, how¡¯s dead, not dead in this world?¡± Fiona asked with great curiosity, as customers filtered in and walked by the cashier station. ¡°Well, as you told me from your earth history, you had a day called¡­what was it? D¨ªa de los Muertos?¡± ¡°The Day of the Dead. It¡¯s a holiday that originated with a country on the southern border of my home nation,¡± Fiona explained politely. Greg nodded softly at that. ¡°It is much like that. Remembrance, or honoring the dead. It starts at the end of this week. There¡¯s usually a small celebration, a parade by the main commercial square every year, and a small festival. Not to the same level as the Harvest Festival, but quite manageable on its own. The dead may indeed rise from the grave, in a way, on Cepalune. People with unfulfilled dreams, or last wishes they want to carry out.¡± ¡°But, how? Dead¡¯s dead, isn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°We theorize it¡¯s the energy from our marks, from the classes. It is not a fulfilling life after death, though. Most become compulsive over their last quest, so to speak. However, strong-willed and strong-souled individuals tend to keep their mental facilities at capacity during this transition process. It doesn¡¯t happen to just anyone. It does seem a bit random, who can, or does want to come back.¡±The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. ¡°Do me a favor. Lock my coffin if I die. The world does not need another dose of Swiftheart, should my fleshy, meaty part of me expire,¡± she stated with an air of permission. ¡°Also don¡¯t let a necromancer raise me. That would just be uncool, for too many reasons.¡± ¡°Well, here¡¯s an idea. Do you want to go to the parade? It¡¯s typically just after business hours. We could easily finish up a bit early on Fiersday, and work our way to it, with no impact at all, on our end,¡± Greg proposed. ¡°I¡¯d get to sample more of Cepalune history and traditions. Oh heck yes, please!¡± Fiona called out gleefully, a smile emerging on her face like a kid on Christmas. ¡°I¡¯ve been waiting for this day when I would be in awe of all this world has to offer! Now tell me, the skeletons I¡¯ve met seem to be complete¡­well, how does one word this?¡± ¡°Stiffs?¡± Bonnie suggested with a curling smile on her muzzle. ¡°Hey. Shush you, I thought I was the pun master,¡± Fiona scolded, narrowing her eyes as Bonnie laughed softly. ¡°But the ones in the dungeons seemed to be pretty¡­uh¡­not all there. They were kinda almost mindless. Except for playing cards. They cheat every time. I don¡¯t even know how they see the cards, they don¡¯t have eyes!¡± ¡°The glowing orbs in their eye sockets weren''t a clue that magic might have played a role?¡± Greg asked with a wince. ¡°You know what, it¡¯s probably better if I just automatically assume ¡®it¡¯s magic¡¯ when I make future observations,¡± she conceded. A ping on her relay got her attention, and she peered at the number. ¡°Oh hey, I guess I better take this one in private. It¡¯s my favorite snack thief in training.¡± ¡°Snack thief isn¡¯t a class,¡± Greg sighed. ¡°Prove it isn''t¡¯! It could be an extremely niche class, but it could still exist! Wingding, tell him!¡± she stated as she unfurled her sleeve and gave Wingding a gentle tap. She shook her wings as if she¡¯d been just napping, and Fiona could almost feel a huff of indignance in her head. That had been another strange development. She could almost feel fragments of emotions she wasn¡¯t sure were hers. After a little experimenting, she theorized that Wingding was giving off moods. How, exactly, she was doing that, she didn¡¯t have a clue. But it also meant it was time for more experimentation. ¡°Okay, Wingding, remember the code we talked about? One flap later, Wingding was trying to give out answers in crude Morse code. They didn¡¯t have that here on Cepalune to the same capacity, but the arcane relays that had been around for decades could serve a similar purpose, or anything programmed to run on them. ¡°Be sure to¡­¡± she trailed off, and glared at Wingding. ¡°We don''t have Ovaltine on this planet, Wingding. Wisearse.¡± She responded with a single, exaggerated flap, and Fiona groaned. ¡°I swear, this mark gets weirder and weirder. It¡¯s like a teenage version of me!¡± ¡°The world should shudder in horror at a preadolescent Fiona,¡± Greg stated dryly. Her glare failed to intimidate him¨C-his glasses must protect him from her attempted emulation of a basilisk glare. ¡°No really, there¡¯s only enough room in this world for one of you, dear. Much as I question some of your decisions on a personal front, you are savvy with money. When you aren¡¯t looking in a brochure,¡± he finished with a wry smile. ¡°Hey, I¡¯ve looked, but I haven''t pulled out my Cepalune Express card just yet!¡± she countered. ¡°I¡¯m trying to control my spending. It¡¯s hard, Greg.¡± ¡°You are making an effort. It is remarkable restraint, from you," he mused. ¡°Don¡¯t you know it? Alright, just hold the fort till I get back. I blew off Felix while we were talking." She headed to the small administrative office she had in a separate room in the back and latched the door with a soft clicking sound. She also placed her relay on the small, chestnut-colored desk where she had a stack of papers, bills, invoices, and various other office work, all indexed neatly with folders. A filing cabinet sat on the floor, partially filled with old paperwork that she figured would be helpful to have later, and a small holo image sat on the desk, showing the whole team smiling by the entryway to the store. I love having a team. I wish I had¡­more people to help me run the whole place. Maybe it wouldn¡¯t have gone under if I hadn¡¯t been so reluctant to ask for help. She activated the transmit button on the relay, and her dashing rogue friend Felix appeared on screen, clean-shaven and twitchy, like usual. He looked left and right, as if he were ready to bolt from whatever position he was in. ¡°Felix, greetings! How''s my favorite orphan thief doing? Is he trying to do good deeds, to get off of Fiona¡¯s naughty list?¡± ¡°Gods, you cotton candy-colored elven fiend, it was one time,¡± Felix groaned, slicking back his dark hair and still peering around anxiously. ¡°Okay, I did the thing you asked. I went and took a look at some records over at the tax office. Then, when they stonewalled me for a request about the royal family¡¯s expenses, I went and uh¡­found an open window. At night. Where a pile of papers magically whooshed out. Must have been a storm of some kind, fluke occurrence, who knew?¡¯ ¡°Felix, your anxious laughs tell me you found something important. So spill it, what¡¯s Barry up to?¡± Fiona pressed, and hoped that this was worth the favor she was burning for this. Because it was costing her gold, and leverage over this guy who made orphans sad regularly. ¡°Alright. The records for the expenses for those windows you mentioned? All recorded properly. And also rightly undervalued. I think someone¡¯s cooking the books in the tax office. It didn¡¯t cost thirty grand worth of coins, they only charged ten grand, tops! A guy I know said that job should have been bare bones, 20 grand CSG¡¯s.¡± ¡°CSG¡¯s?¡± Fiona echoed. ¡°Cepalune Standard Gold? What, did you grow up in the woods?¡± She did not appreciate his acidic response and gave him the leering smile. The one she reserved for when she was about to murder ugly monsters to make cute boots out of them. ¡°The universal currency of Fiefdala, the Unified Kingdoms, and a good chunk of the civilized world?¡± ¡°I¡¯m bad with acronyms,¡± she deflected. ¡°So, he¡¯s committing fraud? Murray, one of the builders, said the same thing. He¡¯s good and he charges cheap, based on what I know of the going rates for labor like that.¡± She pressed her fingertips together, elbows resting on the desk surface, all the while peering at Felix. ¡°Who initiated the charge?¡± ¡°Not Barry. It¡¯s not logged. That¡¯s kinda weird. It says Mira charged it. Mira has been with her father up at the springs this whole time, going on a month, while Greybeard soaks out some stress.¡± Felix pulled up a notepad and licked his finger as he brushed through the pages. ¡°Fiona, what exactly am I getting involved in? Is the royal family committing expense fraud? I mean, it can happen, but¡­¡± ¡°I have a theory that Glados is behind it. Barry wants to keep a convenient girlfriend, or said girlfriend is using him like a useful idiot to get what she wants, behind the scenes,¡± Fiona explained while going through the logical steps. ¡°Glados¡¯ records are sealed. I can¡¯t get them from Cepalune Academy, because that is a danger level I am not prepared to enter,¡± Felix finally pushed back, looking like he¡¯d seen a ghost. ¡°I heard enough about that crazy lady to want to avoid her at all costs. She''s in a bard class.¡± Fiona spent three seconds processing this, then started belly laughing. Felix stared at her, face askew at her exaggerated reaction. ¡°Uh, Fiona, what¡¯s with the laugh?¡± ¡°It¡¯s official! Bards suck in every universe!¡± she declared, holding her ribs while the deep-seated chuckle failed to subside promptly. ¡°So, tell me, Felix, what else did you learn?¡± ¡°Nothing else I''m giving for free. Alright, hang on. I have one tidbit I thought was safe to grab. She came into an inheritance, according to the tax office. But, the details on whom it''s from are missing. It sounds like¡­¡± ¡°Money laundering?¡± She proposed. ¡°Your words, not mine. But it was a huge chunk of change. Over thirty grand. And I''ve seen the way she carries herself. I''ll bet there''s more. but I''m not digging deeper unless you forgive all my past transgressions. Also, if I turn up dead? You''ll know who killed me.¡± ¡°Oh, it''s done,¡± she said with a clap of her hands. ¡°The evil Blondie bard, is up to felonies. A merchant elf shall sleuth, to solve the mysteries!¡± she sang out in rhymes. she was gonna nail this blonde bunny, one way or another, and Felix groaned audibly. ¡°Wherever you''re from, please don''t send any more. We''re topped off on crazy in Fiefdala.¡±
Wanna celebrate the holidays with more cozy action and adventure? Free giveaway for a month to Patreon! It includes a beta of my new story, too! No strings attached, I just want to show my appreciation for my readers! Click HERE to redeem! (First-come, first served) Vol. 2, Ch. 54: A Merchant WIth A Nose For Value! It was late afternoon when Fiona and company closed up the shop a little early, to head out to the festival. Except, of course, Fiona was fuming. She''d put her gold bangle somewhere in the store, and couldn''t find it! She hoped someone hadn''t stolen it, if she left it someplace careless! ¡°Fiona, just check your office. Maybe you left it on your desk?¡± Greg suggested after a brief search. ¡°No, I didn''t leave it there, Greg. I am not that airheaded. I swear, someone up and pilfered it when I took it off earlier. And I''m not happy about it, because it was the first treasure I ever recovered about five months ago. It has sentimental value to me as my first hard-earned reward!¡± She shook her head and examined the cabinet in the break room. She kept smelling cinnamon, and something else metallic and tangy in the air, and had been for a little while. Her perfume wasn''t that strong, in retrospect. ¡°I have no idea where I left it.¡± ¡°Storage, maybe?¡± Darla pointed out. ¡°You went back there earlier today.¡± ¡°Man I''m freaking out, I can''t replace that! Not without cracking some monster skulls. Seriously, is anyone else using cinnamon perfume?¡± She asked, and Bonnie swiveled her ears. ¡°I mean, I love cinnamon cookies like any other energetic ray of sunshine, but, no. You sure you that isn''t just you?¡± A quick sniff test and a chuckle from Bonnie gave Fiona her conclusion. ¡°Nope. Hang on. What is that, exactly? Its cinnamon and¡­¡± she furrowed her brow. Wingding was trying to get her attention with a flutter of wing beats on her skin. She found it odd how she could feel it, in a physical stimulation. Wingding was flapping in a pattern. ¡°Okay, Wingding, what''s up? You trying to tell me something?¡± One flap later, Fiona focused on her mark, bobbing back and forth, while using long and short strokes of her wings, the jeweled heart almost glittering. ¡°No, Timmy didn''t fall down the well, Lassie. Alright, hang on¡­¡± Meanwhile, she sent out a single-word answer. S¡­c¡­e¡­n¡­t¡­ Fiona recoiled in surprise. ¡°I keep clean, thank you. Mood.¡± ¡°Sometimes, I wonder if Fiona is just talking to herself. And then, I see her mark flapping.¡± Darla stopped with her cleanup, her golden eyes wide. ¡°Fi, question for you. Are you focusing on letting your mark be visible?¡± ¡°Uh¡­no. Why?¡± ¡°Because I can see it from six meters away right now.¡± Darla sauntered over, tail flicking back lightly, and her eyes etched in curiosity. ¡°Yeah, that''s a bit weird, right?¡± ¡°Not necessarily. There are many recordings of people being able to display their marks without thinking about it,¡± Bonnie pushed back, while also gathering to see Wingding spell out ¡®scent¡¯ again. ¡°You know how we were pushing back about Wingding being alive? I think it stopped being a joke when we realized she could spell out words.¡± ¡°¡®Scent¡¯. Girl, I shower, I''m no nature-dwelling elf, I don¡¯t smell like grass and dirt and¨C¡± She stopped to pause for a second and took a sniff. That cinnamon and other metallic, tangy scent was there. Was that¡­her bangle, she smelt? Could she smell gold, as a superpower? No way. Well, Wingding, there¡¯s only one way to test this. She took a deep inhale, with Greg looking at her in confusion. ¡°No, it¡¯s not me. I don¡¯t use cologne.¡± ¡°Shh, fancy pants. I¡¯m testing something.¡± As she drew in that scent, it started to become more distinct. Almost overwhelming cinnamon and metallic tang, rolled into a new scent fusion, and she arched her head back, as if to gauge what direction it was coming from. Bonnie squinted at her, and giggled with a hand to her muzzle. ¡°Ahem. Kitsune, here. You know if one of your snacks went missing, I could probably help you, but I don¡¯t think Fiona is a scent I want to be burned in my brain¨C¡± ¡°Shh. The elf is thinking.¡± Bonnie peered at her quizzically, ears at odd angles as Fiona finally intuited a direction. She headed towards the stairs to the bottom floor¨Cmore storage, along with some other odds and ends. ¡°Where is she going?¡± Greg queried. She ignored him and pushed down the stairs and hit the arcanist glow panel, so the stairwell and adjoining hallway were lit up with sparkling lights¨Cthe marvels of modern magitech at work, where a lightbulb simply didn¡¯t exist yet. She could almost¡­see a trail? No, it wasn¡¯t a thing she could see. It was a trail she could feel, snaking through the air, and growing stronger. A vibration she could feel on her skin, and that increasing scent of a metallic tang and cinnamon as she walked down the wooden steps, past the plain brick walls Her trek led her into the storage space. Metal cabinets and various crates lined the room. Spiders found homes in the corners of the space, and she heard a squeak of mice, startled by the newcomers in the room and scurrying to their dark hiding spots. She spotted little beady eyes glimmering in the light, and she wanted to use her bangle to light the room¨Cexcept, that was the item missing.This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. ¡°Greg, give me something gold,¡± she requested. ¡°Oh hang on, Fi. You''re gonna do your razzle dazzle thing?¡± Bonnie asked before pulling out a small gold hoop from one of her furry ears¨Can earring, that she found quite cute on the kitsune. ¡°Ugh. Maybe razzle dazzle was too much of a silly name for it. I¡¯ll call it my goldshine, then. That still sounds cool! Wingding, do your goldshine!¡± A flap of the wings later, the room lit up with golden light, and Fiona squinted as she tried to focus the light down. To her amazement, she was able to get only part of the earring to glow, and focused the glowing material into a single bright beam of light, that she used to sweep across the dark corners. ¡°Bonnie. You¡¯re a ray of sunshine, ya know that? Or, your earring is, but close enough!¡± ¡°Just don¡¯t lose it. It was my grandmother¡¯s,¡± she cautioned. ¡°Me, lose gold? Sheesh, Bonnie, I¡¯m the Merchant of Fortunes, I¡¯ll lose my title if I do that. Now as for what I¡¯m doing¡­¡± She paused and knelt to look below a cabinet, and heard a scraping sound. She saw a glimmer in the gloom, and a pair of beady eyes staring at her, and she narrowed her eyes. ¡°Oh, you little thief.¡± Sitting in the claws of a rather large rat with golden fur, was her golden bangle. ¡°You stole my bangle, give that back!¡± ¡°Squeak.¡± The offending rat made a small sound and sat there, as if daring her to dive under the cabinet and reclaim her property. What was stranger, was that scent of metallic tang¨Cwas it gold she could smell? Her gold, specifically? ¡°Fiona¡­did you just¡­sniff out your item?¡± Darla called out, sounding intrigued. ¡°Uh¡­maybe?¡± She narrowed her eyes at the booger who had her prize in his little rat claws, like he was daring her to come in. ¡°Hey, uh, Greg. You were telling me about Gilded Rats earlier. Remind me, how¡­dangerous are they?¡± ¡°Domestic, intelligent, and exceedingly dangerous if provoked. Meaning, we will be carting off your gnawed-on bones in a box, if you attempt to deal with them as you deal with normal monsters,¡± Greg stated with an air of caution. ¡°Might I suggest a barter, with said offender?¡± ¡°It¡¯s mine. But alright, fine.¡± She reached into her coat pocket, and found a small cookie that was sitting in waxed paper¨Ca treat from granny. ¡°Alright you undersized kids mascot, give me my bangle, you get a treat,¡± she proposed. She placed a piece of the cookie just where she could reach, and took a step back, and watched the rat twitch its whiskers. ¡°There¡¯s no way this works,¡± Bonnie scoffed. Greg wore a small smirk on his face. ¡°Have some faith, Bonnie. I think she¡¯s good with dangerous pets.¡± ¡°Tucker isn¡¯t dangerous! Well, maybe to your clothes and your hair fashion, but still, not dangerous,¡± she rebuffed and watched the rat bring the bangle with its tail. It peered back and forth, took the tasty treat in its mouth, and left the gold bangle as it untangled its tail from the gold accessory. She grabbed it and hastily put it on, letting out a sigh of relief. ¡°I¡­don''t believe that just happened. Fiona can sniff out gold?¡± Bonnie gasped. ¡°Also, remind me to never underestimate your ability to handle monsters and animals of all sizes.¡± ¡°Oh? Want me handling you, Bonnie?¡± Fiona commented with a leering smile. Her friend got a little red in the fur at that suggestion and shook her head. ¡°One of these days, Fi, you¡¯re gonna miscalculate on the answer to that question,¡± Bonnie retorted, while rubbing at her cheek. Darla stepped in, raising one finger. ¡°Fiona? Out of curiosity¡­does that fashion accessory smell like what you were detecting earlier?¡± Darla queried. Fiona frowned, after she took a sniff. ¡°Yeah, it does. It¡¯s identical.¡± Her eyes brightened and her ears stood on end. ¡°I have a treasure scent! Avast, ye swabbies! Fiona the loot pirate is here!¡± she roared in triumph. ¡°I mean that¡¯s an odd power, right?¡± ¡°Merchants with a way to find money. Go figure,¡± Greg shrugged. ¡°Hey, it¡¯s not about money! It has immense, sentimental value to me!¡± she countered with a huff, and then thought of something. ¡°Wait. Maybe I didn¡¯t find it because it was gold. Maybe I found it because it was missing from its rightful owner?¡± ¡°A hypothesis that we should test. But it¡¯s late, we should get going,¡± Greg nudged. ¡°I say we look into this one later, I would hate to miss the start of the festivities.¡± Bonnie sighed and pointed to the darting little critters in the corners. ¡°Also, we have highly intelligent rats infesting our place. Figures,¡± she declared unhappily. Fiona stood up and brushed off an errant cobweb before handing Bonnie¡¯s earring back, where she tucked it into a small piercing opening. ¡°Just saying, we should probably call for a druid. Gilded rats might be smart, but we don¡¯t want them chewing into the arcane circuits.¡± ¡°We have to call a druid to get rid of them? Sheesh. In for a copper, out for a blonde vulture¡¯s hoard,¡± Fiona sighed. ¡°Let¡¯s leave that problem for another moment. Man, the best part? I¡¯ll never lose my stuff again!¡± Bonnie laughed at this heartfully. ¡°Well, if I see you sniffing around like you¡¯re a hound dog, I¡¯ll have only a fifty-fifty shot you¡¯re looking for snacks to liberate.¡± With nothing left to do, they headed upstairs to the orange rays of the sun coming in through the windows. Fiona was just reaching for the front door when a breeze blew in as the door flew open, and she gasped, as did the others. ¡°Hi, uh¡­can I help you?¡± she asked anxiously and felt herself edging her hand to her warhammer. A figure in a tall, dark cloak silhouetted against the sunlight, standing tall over them. A cowl was pulled over their head, and they wore heavily gloved hands¨Cbut Fiona heard the creak of what sounded like wood kindling or something hard¨Cdry joints rubbing against one another. Beneath the cowl was a set of glimmering blue eyes, like fiery orbs. Except, they were situated in the hollows of a roughly human skeleton standing animated before them, and he let out a toothy smile. ¡°Greetings, I¡¯m so sorry to bother you, I saw the store hours Fiona. It has been a while.¡± ¡°Wait. We¡¯ve met?¡± she asked, her hand drifting back to her side. Her threat sense wasn¡¯t going into overdrive right now, which meant it was probably okay¨Cminus the cute growl from Bonnie, behind her. ¡°Necromage,¡± she hissed. ¡°I was a communer with the deceased. I was¨Cam a medium,¡± the male voice stated with resignation, before pulling back a sleeve to show their arm bones. Much to Fiona¡¯s surprise, a small mark blazed into existence where flesh would be in blue wisp flames¨Ca skeleton holding a hand with a visage of a woman, eyes closed and her other hand to her chest, a rose in clutched in her fingers. Fiona knew this mark. She¡¯d seen it once, on a fellow adventurer who had been showing off in her first days. And, while the voice rattled through his now bony head, it carried an air of familiarity to her. Then, it hit her. ¡°Regis?!¡± she gasped. Vol. 2, Ch. 55: Treasure Trail Fiona stepped forward to give the skeletal man a hug¨Cwhich made a series of rattling bones and a rather forced wheeze from the man, which really shouldn¡¯t have happened, considering his lack of lungs. It must be a reflex thing. ¡°Regis, I heard you had a little misadventure on your last journey, and I never thought that¨C¡± ¡°Ah, you know how it is. Adventurers either retire rich or die young. Not exactly much middle ground on that one,¡± he chuckled as Fiona slowly let go. ¡°Anyway, sorry guys. As you might have noticed, I¡¯m uh¡­not exactly rich.¡± ¡°Oh goodness. Regis, how¡¯d you come back?¡± Bonnie asked, her ears drooping slightly. Regis made a low sound of rumbling bones, and wrung his fingers gently. ¡°Unfinished business. I was looking for an item on the last trek I was on, and a surprise trap nailed me. I woke up, a pile of bones, but with my faculties intact. But even that isn''t so sure anymore.¡± His glowing eyes dimmed lightly, and glanced down at the rattle of one hand. ¡°I asked around looking for the item in question, having heard it might have made its way to Douglas treasure hoard, and by proximity, your possession, Fiona.¡± ¡°Regis, if I had anything of yours I¡¯d give it to you without a second thought, but¨C¡± ¡°It¡¯s not for me. It¡¯s for my daughter. Marielle,¡± he stated solemnly. The lights dimmed completely in his sockets, for a brief second, before slowly flickering back to life. ¡°I was supposed to get that last item as a memento for her, something from my father that was stolen.¡± ¡°What item?¡± Greg already had his arcanist pad out, and was flipping through the pages of neatly written notes, the sound of crisp sliding paper prevalent in the air. ¡°A small item. It was supposed to be a bracelet, a defensive magical shield, and an effective protection against projectiles or magic. It was tied to specific users, so its use on the broader market would be worthless.¡± ¡°Ah. A personal item, then,¡± Greg murmured. ¡°Are there any other versions of it?¡± ¡°No. It was a one-of-a-kind piece. It was crafted by a family member. Only members of the Tel¡¯darn family can utilize it, us or those related by blood to us.¡± Regis rolled back his other sleeve to show a leather and rune-carved bracelet adorned on his skeletal hand, with a silver charm hanging off of it. It almost looked like a small griffin, Fiona noted. ¡°I wanted this item for her, in case she ever¡­became an adventurer. A protective item against the many dangers of our world. She was too young to wield it, before, but now¡­¡± ¡°It went missing,¡± Fiona concluded. ¡°Such an item from a family still has worth¨Cthe dragon could have ransomed it, knowing the magic was limited to only a select few. But alas¡­¡± Greg closed his notebook and Fiona glanced at him, a somber expression on her face when Greg shook his head. ¡°Not in our inventory, is it?¡± He shook his head at her question. ¡°No. What do they call it?¡± Greg inquired. ¡°The Aegis of Tel¡¯darn,¡± Regis answered. ¡°I¡¯ve been looking for it, but you can imagine it has been hard to¡­actively pursue it, after my demise. I knew it had been recently seen by a traveler through Douglas¡¯ territory¨Cpossibly stolen, or traded hands several times. At a glance it would indicate high value, but unable to be activated. It still had great material worth. My family wasn¡¯t wealthy, but it was a prized craft.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Regis. If I had it, I¡¯d give it to you in a heartbeat,¡± Fiona said with a heavy heart. ¡°Do you know anywhere else it could have been?¡± Greg however, had reopened his notes, and frowned. ¡°Fiona, we might have it. There is a recording of an unidentifiable bracer that resisted scrying attempts, according to the loggers. It wasn¡¯t high on our list for priority to sell. Regis, would it have been designed to occlude its true origin?¡± Regis¡¯s eyes flared to light, with small purple motes joining the blue. ¡°Yes, it might be! Could you take me to it?¡± ¡°Hang on. We can¡¯t just give it to him¨C¡± Bonnie started to say, but Fiona interrupted her. ¡°We can. We talked about this before. There might be other cases of stolen treasure. It¡¯s our duty as fellow adventurers¨Cwell, former adventurers,¡± she added hastily as Greg raised a sharp eyebrow, ¡°To find the rightful owners! I would feel awful if there was a shot at¨C¡± The thought concluded, and she turned to Greg, mouth slightly open, before he closed his teeth together. ¡°That¡¯s your unfinished business. Once you¡¯re done, you turn to dust, don¡¯t you?¡± ¡°I will have finished my business. I worry if I wait too long, I¡¯ll turn into the mindless. I¡­do not want that,¡± Regis said with an airless sigh. The mark turned gold for a brief second on his wrist, before disappearing into motes. ¡°I know I didn¡¯t know you well Fiona, before your rise. But¨C¡± ¡°We can take care of this. Hey Greg, the festival runs for a bit tonight, right? Let¡¯s take a detour, first,¡± Fiona interjected. ¡°But, we might miss¨C¡± ¡°Hey, I¡¯m not an adventurer anymore, but I still remember what¡¯s important,¡± she stated with determination. ¡°Regis, have you got¡­well¡­your other things in order?¡± ¡°I wasn¡¯t supposed to get a second shot at life¡­or whatever this is,¡± he shrugged, as he gestured at himself. ¡°But, yes, I¡¯m ready.¡± ¡°Right, then. To the vault!¡±
Five minutes after they got to the storage space, Fiona was ready to scream to the heavens, and they would tremble at her wrath. ¡°How is it not here? Why is it not here? Why are several other small things missing? Are the gilded rats stealing stuff again?!¡± ¡°Fiona, I think that was a fluke,¡± Bonnie assured her, before frowning and putting a claw to her muzzle. ¡°Though, they are pretty smart. Maybe you could train one to grab riches, and no one would bat an eye?¡± ¡°Kleptomaniac rats?¡± Darla scoffed. ¡°Bon-Bon, I think your hat is a little too tight on you.¡± ¡°Bite me, shark girl,¡± Bonnie growled. ¡°But I might enjoy that,¡± she said in a low, sultry tone. Bonnie threw up her hands in exasperation, while Greg peered at his list. ¡°It shows up. Regis, here, does this¨C¡± The skeleton took the list from his hands gently, and he ran a bony finger across the text, trying to absorb the implication. His mandible hung low, and he groaned. ¡°I can¡¯t believe this. How can it be so close, but not here?!¡±If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. Fiona glanced at the skeevy-looking guy down the hall, who was busy staring at his arcane relay, playing what looked to be a game of snake, using the magical controls¨Che was young, and utterly engrossed by this device. ¡°Pretty sure I have a theory or two,¡± she answered as she narrowed her eyes on her target. She walked over to the desk down the hallway. Greg locked up the vault room while Fiona hummed and approached the desk¨Cthe blonde man was completely oblivious to his surroundings. ¡°Excuse me.¡± She tried the polite way, but the man looked at her with scorn. ¡°Yes, can I help you?¡± he asked with a curl of his lip. ¡°Yeah. I seem to be missing some items in my vault. Small things that I think people figured that I wasn¡¯t going to miss,¡± she added with a laugh tinged with manic undertones. No one stole from her, it was a sin punishable by utter doom. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t happen to know anything about that, would you?¡± ¡°File a complaint, the paperwork is in the little cubby hole down, and to the left. Away from my desk,¡± the man replied and gave her a dismissive wave. ¡°We bear no responsibility if you guys leave the vaults unlocked, and you signed a waiver¨C¡± ¡°Guy, Seriously? That vault was locked. The treasure didn¡¯t grow legs by itself, just to walk away,¡± she stated in a menacing tone, and the man peered up from his little device, looking unimpressed. ¡°I want to speak to your manager.¡± ¡°I am the manager, lady, and I don¡¯t care. No responsibility for lost items.¡± He pointed at a sign above his desk, just for emphasis. She gritted her teeth to prepare to say something unflattering, but then, she thought of something. ¡°Greg, a word aside?¡± she stated with incredible calm. He shrugged before gesturing over to a courtesy seat that had seen better days¨Cburn marks from some newbie mage, a chewed-on armrest that some pet had been offended by, and stains from various careless children. She didn¡¯t have the urgency to sit down, to say the least. ¡°Okay, I need to know any of the items that were missing, that aren¡¯t the aegis.¡± ¡°Well, there was the small teleporting dagger¨Cbest used by singing assassins assigned quests from gods, in retrospect¨Cand a few other items.¡± ¡°Hey, I remember that one.¡± She tried to picture it, and suddenly¨Cthe scent of perfume filled her nostrils¨Cwhoever had been using it before might have been a femme fatale, in hindsight, and that dagger made it very clear the scent had baked into the metal. She frowned. That scent was there, it had just been faint, earlier, and it was only now that she could place it on something familiar. It was coming from somewhere behind the man¡¯s desk, while he continued to scowl at them from afar. As if waiting on customers was something he didn¡¯t enjoy doing. She was surprised that he didn''t have even less clientele. This place seemed like an utter bargain basement of storage and long-term safekeeping needs. And now, she had a theory on what had happened, and she hummed and skipped along to the main desk. The scent was much stronger, here, for sure, and she saw a series of crates, unsealed, that were marked for office supplies. The scent was coming from there, underneath, somewhere. ¡°Say, what¡¯s your name?¡± ¡°None of your business,¡± the man snapped. ¡°This place doesn¡¯t pay nearly enough to deal with nonstop questions¨C¡± ¡°They do, when it involves theft.¡± She tapped her hammer haft, and the man peered at her warily, once again interrupted. ¡°Are you threatening me?¡± ¡°Me? Nah, I make promises, buddy. See, I''ve seen a gilded rat pilfering one of my prized possessions earlier today.¡± ¡°What the¡­gilded rats?¡± He sat up like a light had just lit up over him. ¡°Hang on a second. I saw one earlier today, and I keep this place checked for infestations, and I put in a request for pest control. ¡°What exactly did it steal?¡± ¡°A gold bangle. Why?¡± He thumbed through an arcanist pad, eyes dancing left and right as he read through numerous entries, only interrupted by him turning the pages. After a few seconds, he stopped. ¡°Someone just yesterday complained that some gold baubles went missing. I have wards to keep people tracked on what goes in and comes out. And¡­¡± he frowned as he swiped through his arcanist pad. ¡°Two more people complained last week about small missing items. All with gold. I mean I get it, it''s a tough economy.¡± ¡°So this isn''t new to you?¡± She relaxed her stance, and could still smell the scent. ¡°Let me pose a theory. I think one of my items is under that cabinet. I can smell it.¡± ¡°Smell it?¡± ¡°I smell treasure. I¡¯ve got twenty-four-karat magic!¡± she sang proudly, while Darla tried to not laugh. ¡°No really, it¡¯s in my class!¡± The attendant raised an eyebrow at this but otherwise remained composed. ¡°I didn''t steal it, if that''s what you''re asking. This place might be cheap, but I want no fireballs coming my way for that, no thanks,¡± he added with a defensive wave of his hands. ¡°But, under the cabinet? How would it have¨C¡± Tink. Tink. Everyone heard the sound of something metal clicking softly, and Fiona''s ears twitched. ¡°Uh, I¡¯m checking now.¡± She knelt to look under the cabinet, and found a rat with a knife hilt in its mouth, held delicately, and it froze. It had been trying to climb into a recently chewed hole in a corner, judging by the wood shavings, and it had been trying to carry the dagger through¨Cand catching on the knife tip, the hilt end through the too-small hole. The rat hadn¡¯t worked out to turn the item sideways to drag it in. Even Regis knelt and grunted. ¡°Ah my old bones, I''m getting too old for this. We have ourselves a rat thief.¡± Fiona didn''t wait and offered another segment of cookie to the rat, which tilted its head in curiosity. ¡°Hey buddy, a treat for a dagger. It''s mine, you know.¡± She could also see the inlaid gold on the cross piece, with light runic work that likely contributed to its telekinetic control. The rat dropped the dagger with a clang and accepted the gift before scurrying off into the hole. He now had the most important prize in his mouth before disappearing in a scrabble of claws through the structure. ¡°Holy cats. Thieving rats!¡± The man gasped, and Fiona tucked the item into her belt after confirming it was, indeed, on the item inventory. ¡°That is just¡­I¡­I''m screwed.¡± ¡°Uh, Greg, have you ever heard of rats committing organized theft?¡± Bonnie queried, and he rubbed his chin for a second, considering the possibility. ¡°Druids with certain traits could command animals to follow complex tasks, yes. But this is grabbing small items, and with deliberate tact and organization. The fact that we have witnessed two thefts by rats on Fiona''s property suggests either extreme coincidence, or¨C¡± ¡°Someone''s trying to mess with me, and their name rhymes with Larry,¡± she said as her hand drifted to her hammer haft. ¡°I''m getting my cat. Time to solve this mystery, and find Regis¡¯s family heirloom.¡± ¡°I''m gonna call the watch and report this. I have to, but I don''t know if they''re gonna believe someone is organizing animals to steal items,¡± The manager of the storage facility looked panicked. ¡°You saw it, I didn''t steal anything.¡± ¡°You might want to let your clients know, so they can inspect for missing items,¡± Greg suggested before pocketing his notes. ¡°Well, Miss Swiftheart, I think we have a mystery to tally up.¡± Bonnie looked deflated at this. ¡°But Greg, we''re gonna miss the¡­¡± She trailed off, and glanced at Regis, who despite his status as a set of walking bones, carried himself a little taller, knowing they might have a possible clue. ¡°Ya know what, I changed my mind. The thrill of helping a lost soul find peace is too much to pass up! We can try to catch the festival later, we''ve got time!¡± She reached into her purse to grab a wand. ¡°Fiona, can you do that uh¡­scent thing? I want to see if I can figure out what exactly is going on with it, and if it uses magic¨Cand what kind, too.¡± ¡°I can''t. I¡¯d need something to compare against. I think,¡± Fiona explained, but then Regis glanced down at his wrist, and pulled off the bracelet. ¡°How does your power work?¡± ¡°Still trying to figure out that part. I think it has to be tuned in to something familiar about the person or the item. Like an¡­emotional bond, or something that makes them, them.¡± She wiggled her nose, and glanced at the bracelet. ¡°What''s with that thing?¡± ¡°It was my mother''s bracelet. Perhaps, you can use the familial relation to find the other item? She did wield the item, same as my father, and it wasn¡¯t just a mantlepiece,¡± he continued with a hint of optimism in his tone. ¡°And here it gets weirder,¡± Greg said, but made no motion to stop her as she took a sniff¨Cand then her mind was flooded with the scent of something like pine, and something else¡­a metal tasting of salts. It was a strange combination. She opened her eyes after taking a good sampling, and could feel a trail guiding her¨Coutside of the warehouse. ¡°Guys, we¡¯re grabbing Tucker on the way. You know, just in case we need to bully some thieving mice.¡± ¡°Might I also suggest a druid?¡± Greg pushed back lightly. ¡°Gilded rats are ferocious if you attempt to hurt them.¡± ¡°Well, I¡¯m outta cookies, and apparently, they can be bribed with snacks. You know what, maybe we won¡¯t need one if Granny has any more at home,¡± she finished with a grin. ¡°Shall we, Regis?¡± ¡°Keeping it interesting as ever,¡± laughed with a slight rattle of bones, and wearing that eerie visage of a grin¨Ceven though his glowing eyes conveyed delight. ¡°Fi, you do instill a lot of cheeriness in the world, you know that? Don¡¯t stop doing that.¡± ¡°I¡¯m incapable of stopping. To my lair, to retrieve our mega mouser!¡± she declared with a triumph. Vol. 2, Ch. 56: At Least We Didn’t Find A Cult Of Giant Eyeball Worshippers After a quick trip back to her apartment and with Tucker bouncing along merrily beside her, the crew followed Fiona¡¯s direction, with the large black and blue cat testing the air too as if sniffing for something. "Is this the craziest thing you¡¯ve ever witnessed?¡± Bonnie asked Greg distantly. ¡°Bon-bon, I¡¯ve seen many strange things in my time, and this is not the strangest. Surprisingly. It ranks pretty far up there though¨Ca person with a literal treasure scent.¡± ¡°24 karat magic in the aiiiiiir!¡± Fiona sang enthusiastically. No one behind her of course had heard such an up-funk beat, but Fiefdala was being introduced to it, in style. ¡°C¡¯mon guys, I smell it this way!¡± ¡°We will never be able to hide the snacks from her again,¡± Darla mused behind her. Their journey took many meandering turns, through alleys and backways, and even following through drainage ditches. Fiona suspected that the gilded rats had indeed, taken this path. No one would willingly go this way, and rats would be far less noticeable. They were indeed, quite clever. Their journey took them to the loading port for various barges and steamboats that shipped goods up and down the lake, with the pier weathered but serviceable. The sun had already dipped below the hills to the west. Fiona led the way, following that instinctively trail, pulling her closer to the source. She frowned, the trail was leading them toward a storm drain, past debris from the lake on a dirty portion of the beach, where driftwood and an occasional fish skeleton were strewn on the sand. Now, she could make out faint scratch marks in the sand¨Cthey seemed to be from the claws of a small to medium-sized animal, walking on all fours--and occasionally on their hind legs. She motioned to Greg, who had his notepad in hand, and he scratched in a few lines of the approximate tracks. ¡°I think this is our rats, headed home,¡± she proposed. ¡°Not surprising. The undercity of Fiefdala is vast, and mages do run a plant to uh¡­well, refine the water so that it doesn¡¯t sully the lake,¡± he spoke softly. A glance at the storm drain, with the rusted bars and still serviceable metal gate, suggested the rats could come and go, but people couldn¡¯t. At least, not without magical assistance. But, a magical ward shimmered into being when she attempted to open the doorway, and the lock clicked tightly together. She pulled against it with more force, and while she heard the metal creak, that barrier behind it was reinforcing the metal. ¡°Hey, what gives? The rats can come and go, but we can''t? So rude,¡± she muttered. ¡°Most people don''t want to go into the sewer and aqueduct system. Because, you know, sewage.¡± Darla held her nose as if she''d caught a whiff of something unpleasant. All Fiona could smell was that unique scent of the treasure lost in the depths. ¡°What should we do, call the watch, and tell them thieving rats are roaming around town?¡± ¡°Perhaps I can help?¡± Bonnie suggested before grimacing at the possibility of stepping through the entry, large enough for even Darla. She examined the barrier with her wand, probing seemingly random points, eyes narrowed and focused while tapping the barrier. It made soft crystalline notes when she did. ¡°Okay, I see what the problem is. It allows the drain water out. It is coded against Folk species, but apparently, anyone not on that list can come and go.¡± ¡°Hmm. We really should call the watch, and do this proper,¡± Greg mused, hand on his chin. He then glanced at Regis, his face brightening. ¡°Hang on. I do not see signs for no entry allowed. Bonnie, Is it coded against¡­say, someone who has already expired? With nothing to identify them as a Folk?¡± Bonnie tilted her head, and then grinned a few seconds, after tapping the barrier and checking something in a notebook. ¡°Nope. Let''s give this a test. Fiona, stand back? Its proximity warded on the gate.¡± She took several steps back while Regis reached out a hand to the gate, and the barrier failed to react to his presence. He swung the gate open slowly with a little effort, rusty hinges squeaking in protest. He gave them a bony grin before beckoning them forward. ¡°Well thought out, Miss Revere,¡± Regis commended as they worked their way into the depths of the drainage system. The splash of water made her grimace. ¡°Eww. I should have worn boots today, gross,¡± she groaned. Meanwhile, Fiona took the lead, and lit up her golden bangle to direct light in a cone ahead of them. Bonnie ignited a flame puff that hovered by her shoulder and followed automatically as they traversed the dark brick cistern system. Debris and garbage occasionally lining the ground. The trickle of water in here was fortunately a reprieve, and stayed in a channel in the center of the passage. Occasional bridges crossed the stream, and Fiona could make out entries up above them with metal ring ladders, anchored into the brick. ¡°Sheesh. This is well kept,¡± Fiona commented after a short while. A rather unpleasant odor was becoming apparent as they walked by a machine that apparently gated the stream and split the incoming water from clean-ish water, into very much not clean water and refuse that snaked down another passage. Fiona had no desire to go that direction, and fortunately their path took them in the less odious path, down a side passage, where piping hissed and machinery buzzed distantly. The corridor was narrow, but linear, and the piping ran along the length of the passage.This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it. ¡°Any idea where we are?¡± Bonnie asked a moment later, while Greg flipped through his notepad. ¡°I don''t have a clean signal, but I have been noting the turns. We are somewhere near the fishery, the northeast corner. I didn''t realize how extensive the service passages were. Old, but well kept.¡± ¡°Uh, Greg, any chance we could run into monsters down here?¡± ¡°I''m more worried about smugglers. The city of Fiefdala does have an underground element.¡± He didn''t bother to repeat the fact that his father likely drove such activities, under cover of night. Fiona noted occasional footprints in the dust down here¨Cit was significantly drier in this location, compared to the sluice. All the while, the treasure scent grew stronger. Another metal bar grate with a barred door stood in front of them, though it appeared unlocked. The gate opened with this shifting of dust, and she put a hand to her hammer halt. It always felt reassuring to have it, even with a lack of armor. The door eased open fully and they were in a large, earthen-carved chamber, spanning at least twenty meters, with rough-hewn rocks and some brickwork shoring up the walls, faded and cracked. Above, a distant spot of light could be seen¨Cthe arcane lanterns that adorned the city, especially in the more affluent quarters. Below them, there was a massive pit, with a spiral staircase carved into the side, descending downward. A dim light was at the bottom, to another connecting passage. More than one door led into this entryway, but they all had barred gates. A scrabble of claws got Fiona''s'' attention. She swept her gold shine to illuminate a gilded rat, glowing golden and freezing briefly. She gasped when she saw what was in its jaws. A bracer of complex make with metal backing and runic shapes on the armored portion ¡°Tucker, there''s our thief!¡± The cat growled and coiled up as if ready to pounce, but she patted his head to keep him from attacking. ¡°Hey, mister rat! I got a treat for ya! Tucker, no biting. You see one gilded rat, there''s more, and they got sharp teeth.¡± Tucker let out a rumble of protest, but relaxed his body as she took the last cookie and knelt low to offer the treat to the rat. It has worked twice now, so, maybe it could be reasoned with. ¡°Oh hell no, elf,¡± the rat said in a muffled tone. Everyone stared wildly at the rat, then at each other. ¡°Who had this on their bingo card?¡± Fiona asked abstractly. ¡°What''s ¡®Bingo¡¯ exactly¨C¡± ¡°Greg? Not important,¡± Fiona interrupted. ¡°We have talking rats!¡± ¡°Yay, act like you''re the first to witness this!¡± The rat snapped and held the bracer tightly in its paws, its legs tensed as if ready to bolt. ¡°How did you even find us?¡± ¡°I sniffed you out!¡± She declared proudly. ¡°By the way, you took something that doesn''t belong to you, and I kinda need it back.¡± ¡°Nope. Not happening, lady.¡± The rat glanced down at the pit opening, as if judging the distance. ¡°I owe money. I get transfigured back to my normal, not ratty form when I pay off that shady druid I borrowed money from, and I don''t want to be in a constant rat race my whole life.¡± ¡°Rat race, haha. Good one,¡± Regis sounded like a pile of rattling bones, and the rat went wide-eyed at this. ¡°We can pay you for it.¡± ¡°We can?¡± Fiona growled. ¡°It''s our stuff! And by proximity, yours, Regis.¡± ¡°Hold up, before we get hasty, let''s start with names,¡± Greg said with a disarming wave, and he pocketed his notebook. He adjusted his glasses and peered at the rat. ¡°What''s yours?¡± ¡°Kae,¡± he answered. Fiona noted the voice was small, but distinct. ¡°I borrowed some money for uh¡­some products. I didn''t pay it back in time.¡± ¡°A rat named Kae?¡± Bonnie wrinkled her muzzle at this. ¡°Not exactly the main character status there, guy.¡± ¡°Hey, we can''t all be big shots. Now, who are you guys?¡± ¡°Fiona Swiftheart. These are my friends, we run a business,¡± Fiona explained. The rat''s beady eyes went wide. ¡°Wait. The Hero of Fiefdala?!¡± He looked like he was going to bug out, but Fiona put out a reassuring hand. ¡°Yep, the same. Look, I need that bracer. It''s important to this guy.¡± ¡°What, the dead guy? Sheesh, only on Lost Souls Day. Look I''m kinda busy, and it''s worth something to someone. I need it, if I''m gonna get unhexed!¡± ¡°Okay guy, I''m gonna give you a chance to do the right thing. That item doesn''t belong to you.¡± She didn''t think a hammer was the instrument for this situation. ¡°It''s his unfinished business, for his kid. We¡¯ll find another way to get you changed back, or pay the guy off.¡± ¡°BUT¨C¡± ¡°But nothing! We¡¯re willing to help, but you need to stop being a sneaky thief!¡± Fiona interrupted, quickly running out of patience for this guy. ¡°Look at his face! He looks so sad without his family heirloom!¡± ¡°He looks dead, and isn''t my problem,¡± Kae sassed back. ¡°Alright, it''s been fun, but¨C¡± A piercing roar tore through the still air and everyone let out a startle. The rat panicked and headed down the winding stairwell, only to freeze, and slowly back up. ¡°Big, scary, hungry thing is coming!" Fiona snapped her hammer into action, tapping the weapon head, while Bonnie prepared a glowing golden chain, and Greg¡­pulled out his notebook. The thunderous roar continued, and Kae leaped onto Darla''s pant leg, scrambling up her shirt to perch in terror on her shoulder, bracer and all. ¡°Sewer gator!¡± He shrilled, in his tiny, rat-like voice. ¡°A what now? It''s a myth,¡± Greg scoffed. The thunderous roar coming up from the depths, and the sound of footsteps and claws scraping against stone and metal would have proved otherwise. Fiona clicked her hammer into shape, and the now-golden head of the hammer came into existence. Fiona also activated her goldshine to illuminate her mighty weapon, and she grinned enthusiastically. ¡°You know something, Kae? You just made my day! I always wanted a croc skin jacket, and now''s my lifetime opportunity!" A pair of venomous green eyes could be seen in the gloom, climbing up from the depths and dripping from the water of the sewer. More worrying, were the gleaming white teeth on the maw of the ferocious, green-scaled gator. She looked down at the creature and suddenly wondered if they¡¯d bitten off more than they could chew. Because this specimen was over six meters long and had six clawed legs, and a dribble of its saliva made the stonework hiss as a fast-acting acid ate through the masonry. Bonnie let out a yelp but showed no backing down as she pulled out her wand, glowing bright blue and illuminating the space. ¡°Just this once, I wish the urban legend was just that, a legend!¡± Vol. 2, Ch. 57: Fight, Item, Magic, HAMMER! Fiona swerved to the side to avoid the snapping jaws of the beast, and Bonnie quickly leaped to a safe distance, Darla and Greg took a more unusual stance¨Crolling up their sleeves, and strafed to the side while Fiona drew the ire of the reptilian. She avoided the snapping jaws and swiping claws, dodging at the last second and feeling the lightest of breezes. The buzz of adrenaline and her heart beating in rapid-fire were all she could sense as she engaged against this crime against cuteness. This is what she lived for. A giant, god-sized lizard might have killed her, but she got brought back to return the favor, in some cosmic balance of the universe. ¡°Swing, batter batter!¡± she called out as she saw an opening, hopped over the gnashing teeth of the gator, and landed a meteoric swing at the beast, catching it in the snout. It reeled backward with the blow, and tumbled across the stone of the underground aqueduct. It growled and got right back up in an instant, after righting itself and giving itself space. ¡°Fi, keep it in position! I¡¯ll try to ensnare it!¡± Bonnie held her wand in hand, making small flicks with her wrist, tracing small runes that hovered in the air. Fiona had seen her use spells like this before in a rare bout of combat, back when she¡¯d first met her, and she could easily disable and ensnare foes. She just needed to buy her time. The gator, however, took note of this and lunged forward, trying to disrupt her casting. Fiona took the initiative to land another hammer blow, but the beast bulldozed past her, and sent her spinning to the ground¨Cit had shrugged off the body blow without even being phased! She called out a warning, but Greg and Darla were already on the move. Greg had his notebook in hand, a spiral of paper weaving around and wrapping around the gator¡¯s snout, constricting and leaving the creature shaking its head¨Cand Greg was thrown to the side, still tethered by the notebook. He tumbled gracefully to the side, snapping the notebook closed and tearing the paper, where it snapped like a rubber band to constrict the creature. Darla wasn¡¯t one to sit out of the fight, and used daring acrobatics to land sweeping blows with her fists. Fiona wouldn¡¯t have thought much of it as she was raining down hammer blows, and her fists hit hard, sending the gator reeling. ¡°Darla, you been working out?¡± she panted in between blows, and leaping over a massive tail swipe, coming up to smack the creature in the legs. But she wasn¡¯t hearing a satisfying crack when she hit. The scales cracked, but this creature''s bones must be made of steel or something! Darla grinned and grabbed the creature by the neck, trying to rodeo it while landing blows on its face and let out a shout of joy. ¡°Dearie, we got bigger, scarier, nastier things in Underlune! This thing looks like someone¡¯s lost pet!¡± Darla let out a whistle as she smashed one eye shut on the creature, who managed to snag one tooth on the paper binding and rip it, allowing its maw to open. Acidic saliva drooled from the corners of its mouth, and slowly corroded the paper. Greg attempted to wrap more using his notebook, but got a glancing blow from a tail swipe and sent tumbling, all while Fiona dodged over a body charge. She grabbed Darla¡¯s hand to steady herself on the creature¡¯s back, where Darla held her steady from the thrashing and eccentric movements ¡°Bonnie, anytime with that warding spell, so I can play croquet!¡± she shouted out with glee. She smashed her hammer down into its mouth, and she heard teeth creaking. What was this thing made out of, anyway? Her ponderance was interrupted by the bindings letting loose with an elastic snap and the gator tried to roll on its side and twist its body, flinging her and Darla forward. Luckily she had anticipated this and flung her body to an angle and kicked off the wall¨Cwhile bringing her hammer to bear. She smashed into the creature with a bone-jarring impact, and this time, she knocked a tooth loose from its jaw, causing it to flinch in pain. Now its scales were cracked and bleeding. It slashed out with its extra legs, catching her coat but not her body, and she was less than amused as her fashion wear got a great big gash. ¡°Hey, easy on the outfit! I have to wear this to work!¡± she bellowed out. ¡°Only Fiona would worry more about the jacket, than getting a great bleeding chomp on her posterior,¡± Greg mused, having recovered and was scratching in a new rune into his spellbook. The sewer gator saw this and lurched back its head, making a slight gargling sound. Fiona knew by instinct what could happen, and threw him¨Cand herself¨Cto the deck, just as a gob of acidic mucus splashed into the floor, just where they had been. ¡°Alright, you almost messed up Greg¡¯s hair¨Cand his head! That¡¯s not gonna stand, Next week¡¯s stunning sports jacket!¡± Fiona bellowed out, and picked herself up off the floor, hammer in hand. The creature appeared winded from the attack, giving Darla a chance to conjure¨C ¡­A frying pan? Fiona had seen crazy things, but when a cast iron frying pan appeared in her hand, and she wound up delivering a stunning blow, she¡¯d never have thought that this would be possible. ¡°You can conjure chef items?!¡± Fiona gasped. ¡°Sure can!¡± The gator backed off after getting several whacks with the cast iron pan, and Darla made a furious roar at the creature, now trying to go after Bonnie. Fiona and Darla had the right idea and heaved with all their might on the creature¡¯s tail, and it yelped. She dug her boots into the stone walkway, feeling sweat trickle down her back from the intense fight¨Cbut this felt as exhilarating as ever! ¡°Oh, no, no nibbling on the kitsune! That¡¯s my job!¡± Fiona declared gleefully. ¡°Still here, still pretending I didn¡¯t hear that!¡± Bonnie mostly ignored the comment and thrust her wand out, just as a series of glowing golden runes finished appearing. The rebar underneath the mason''s work cracked the stone and twisted upwards, winding around the creature''s limbs and immobilizing it, and Bonnie cackled as a piece of rebar wound around its snout. She gave it a boot to the face, for good measure, and it whined at this insult. ¡°Well girls, I think he¡¯s about done. He¡¯s not going anywhere.¡±This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. Fiona gave the gator a menacing glare. ¡°Oh, don¡¯t you dare take a bite out of my friends, or you¡¯ll get a walloping!¡± She shook her hammer for emphasis, and the venomous green eyes widened in fear. ¡°Yeah, you like that? Let¡¯s call the city patrol when we get a chance. Uh, Kae, Regis, where¡¯d you guys go?!¡± It had occurred to her that she¡¯d lost track of them in the confusion. Did Mister Snappy here eat them at some point? Not likely, and Regis was already dead, so¡­ She heard a soft meow as Tucker pounced down from the crisscrossing girder beams forming the roof structure, along with a series of winding pipes. She let out a soft sigh. ¡°Well at least you¡¯re accounted for, cat. Where were you, while the giant sewer monster was trying to make me into ginger snaps?¡± Bonnie snickered behind her, and clapped her shoulder lightly. ¡°C¡¯mon Fi, I think I saw them dart down the stairs, probably to avoid the fight. We should catch up to them before they get into even more trouble!¡± ¡°I concur. Regis might already be dead, but our transformed rat friend is somewhat more vulnerable.¡± Greg brushed himself off and clenched his fist at the captive gator, growling and trying to move¨Cfruitlessly. ¡°I now share your sentiment about making some monsters into something to remember them by. As fashionable attire, carefully stored in my closet.¡± Fiona swore she heard a slight sob from the gator, as if it knew what they were saying. Yeesh. Wingding, tell me this isn¡¯t another transformed person, or worse, transmigrated across the cosmos, in the most awful body swap, ever? I might have fared far better than most. She pushed the posturing to the side as the group dashed down the stairs, taking mind to keep to the sides of the aqueduct of water on the lower level. At least it smelled better, this way. The water appeared clear and sparkling, and a few dim arcane lights accented the walls. Darla pushed ahead, sniffing with her nose. ¡°I smell that rat¨CI got a scent of him when he leaped onto my shoulder. Hah! My chef skills coming into good use!¡± ¡°You battered him with a frying pan! Can you summon knives?!¡± ¡°I think knives would have been useless against that gator. I was inspired by ¡®hammertime¡¯ from a ferocious elf who makes a better wrecking crew than she does a merchant.¡± ¡°Hey, Darla? I don¡¯t hand out five flirt discounts.¡± Fiona could feel her cheeks burning as that sassy barista kept up to speed with her. They moved at a hurried pace, following branching tunnels through the aqueduct. What was interesting was the fact that there was a few wooden packing crates tucked by the walls¨Cand they weren¡¯t the only ones. Darla slunk up against a wall, before another twisting corner. ¡°I think I heard someone. Up ahead.¡± ¡°Where did Regis go?! Like, he should have waited!¡± Fiona whispered, and peeked out around the corner. Darla used her tail to keep her from going too far¨Cit was flexible, and strong, apparently. Tucker also took initiative and stacked up by the wall, rubbing at her ankle. ¡°Hey. Earn your pay, Tucker. See what¡¯s around the corner,¡± Fiona whispered to him, and gave him a quick pat on the head before he let out a short chirp of excitement, and slunk around the corner¨Cdisappearing in little puffs of blue light as he phased from cover to cover. He peeked his head around the corner, and disappeared out of sight. ¡°You know, I noticed something on that gator,¡± Bonnie whispered from the rear. ¡°I think it was domesticated. It had a collar on, when I took a closer look at it. Also don¡¯t worry about it getting free anytime soon. That rebar I pulled from the stonework is mage steel. Corrosion resistant.¡± ¡°Why¡¯s a domesticated sewer dragon running around?¡± Fiona whispered. Bonnie shook her head, ears at odd angles. ¡°Beats me. We also had some difficulty getting in. Maybe¡­hmm¡­maybe this is a smugglers accessway?¡± ¡°Nah. this is part of public works,¡± Greg countered, and peered around the corner quickly¨Cmaking it quite crowded, and Fiona could feel him press against her shoulder. ¡°I do wonder¡­the Lockheed family¨Cer, my family¨Ccould have co-opted the connected tunnels and maintenance areas to move contraband undetected. You can get almost anywhere in Fiefdala, with the right tunnel.¡± ¡°Didn¡¯t think to mention this sooner?¡± Bonnie sounded just a little pissed, and Greg let out a whisper-quiet sigh. ¡°I¡¯ve been out of the loop, and I had no interest in ever coming back into the fold. After the possible arson attempt, I¡¯ve been checking on my end to make sure my father wasn¡¯t tracking me. He gets¡­obsessive.¡± ¡°Sounds like a medical condition,¡± Fiona grunted. But, she motioned for silence as a shrill squeak, and a muffled meow emerged from around the corner. Fiona stared as Tucker brought them a drool-covered rat about the size of Kae¨Cexcept it wasn¡¯t Kae, and he was panicking and beady-eyed. ¡°Get the cat away from meee! I don¡¯t wanna die!¡± It shrilled while being held by the scruff of its neck. Wrapped around its back was a small leather sling¨Cfilled with gold coins, and Fiona patted Tucker proudly. ¡°Aww, such a good boy! You get treats at home for bringing this one free of holes!¡± she cooed, and Tucker spat out the rat enthusiastically, and nodded his head proudly. The rat sputtered and stood there, unwilling to run from the apex predator right next to him¨Cand not the cat, either. She knelt and poked at the disheveled rat. ¡°You¡¯re not Kae, where¡¯d you come from, and is this¡­stolen coins?¡± ¡°Yeah my name is Kae, and back off lady, I found it first! Steal your own loot!¡± the rat hissed, baring his teeth. Fiona narrowed her eyes, poked him on the nose, and withdrew before he could bite. ¡°Oh no you don¡¯t, mister bitey! Tucker, if he tries that again, you get him as a treat.¡± The rat went wide eyed as a lecherous grin crossed her face, and Tucker started licking his lips and purring. ¡°Spill it, pint-sized. Did you see another rat about your size and a robed skeleton come this way?¡± ¡°Oh, them? They went to pester my uh¨C¡± the rat¡¯s voice suddenly lost confidence. ¡°What¡¯s wrong, Kae? Cat got your tongue?¡± Fiona asked, while Tucker scraped his claws on the stone floor for emphasis. Which, was as unnerving as nails on a chalkboard, and the rat wore an anxious smile. ¡°Oh them, and Kae the thirty-first? They went that way, took a left, past the door with black bars, and through the opening for us ratfolks, where we bring uh... repossessed loot. We have to tithe a certain percentage. Worst business deal ever! We get all the risk, so little benefit, and no cheese.¡± "Bonnie, bind him and bring him with us. Sounds like we got some smugglers stealing coins¨Cmy coins, and Regis¡¯s family heirlooms! We¡¯re putting a stop to that!¡± Fiona pounded her fist into her open hand, and Bonnie smirked softly. ¡°The adventurer left the battlefield, but the adventurer didn¡¯t leave you, Fiona.¡± ¡°Guess I better call the town watch, before Fiona bulldozes the place.¡± It was telling that it wasn¡¯t the first time Greg had said that, and the group pressed forward to get to the bottom of this swarm of tiny pilferers running amok in Fiefdala. Vol. 2, Ch. 58: Dont Forget The Sales Tax! True to the rat¡¯s word, Fiona and the others soon found themselves meandering through the hallway of stone, past more piping and the thrum of pumps going. Whatever was going on here, must be related to water processing for the city of Fiefdala. ¡°So tell me, Kae the second. Who do you work for?¡± ¡°Let me go, and I¡¯ll call out a name.¡± ¡°Haha, like the rat would rat out his clients?¡± Fiona couldn¡¯t help but laugh at that. ¡°Why do you also go by the name of Kae?¡± ¡°Code names.¡± ¡°Ya¡¯ll are idiots, if two of you picked the name Kae¨Cwait. You said Kae the thirty-first. How many of you picked the same damn name?¡± she demanded, even as they rounded the corner, the lights flickering and possibly just worn out from years of continuous service, with no maintenance. ¡°Hey, it¡¯s a great name!¡± ¡°On that account, I agree. I would know, because I read it in a book. Or, several! I guess it¡¯s a trendy name!¡± She puffed out her chest proudly at that notion. She¡¯d been an avid reader before getting murdered by an eldritch dragon god. Or, maybe she should have done less of that, and more tending to her store, and her-- She shook her head. That was a dead past. She had a future to focus on, now. ¡°Alright, back on track. Why are you stealing priceless heirlooms and pocket change?¡± ¡°Hey, it wasn¡¯t personal! We rats gotta make a living, too! We all got transfigured, and now we gotta go pay this mad hat druid dude. Or he¡¯ll turn us into something worse! One guy got turned into a beetle. Then one of the other rats ate him.¡± He twitched visibly at this mention. ¡°I find it highly surprising that a druid was able to force shape on someone with little effort. Unless, of course, you signed some kind of contract or other ¡®I owe you¡¯ writ?¡± Greg left the question hanging, and Kae the second fell notably silent. ¡°Uh-huh. That¡¯s what I figured.¡± ¡°Hey, it¡¯s a tough economy! Oh, by the way, the guy¡¯s probably counting coins and treasure¨C¡± The rat was pointing around the corner when there was the sound of discourse, and the rat looked nonplussed. ¡°Um, what was that?¡± ¡°Kill it with fire!¡± ¡°Vengeful undead!¡± ¡°I wasn¡¯t even supposed to be here today!¡± Fiona took that as reason enough to get her hammer back to size, and they arrived at the door, which had a small bone sticking out of the lock, and was now ajar. Regis had been quite busy, and she kicked the heavy door wide open. Greg gingerly grabbed the skeleton key and put it in a vest pocket¨Cshe would have laughed, but now she heard the sound of a fight. She rounded the corner, a flash of gold shine in her hand and awaiting a chance to blind foes, and her hammer wielded in the other. Her eyes darted across the spectacle of the room. Four guys dressed in matching uniforms that looked like it was from some kind of guild, were surrounding Regis and the rat perched on his shoulder. They were all terrified of the undead, and she winced as one bashed his head clean off his vertebrate--right towards her!" "Heads up." Regis sounded just a little dejected--or detached--at this embarassing moment as she grabbed the head with her outstretched hand. The gold shine illuminating the inside of his skull like a gristly lamp that had no business being fashionable, except for maybe Darla, and Regis regarded her with a bony frown. ¡°Hey Fiona, am I dead?¡± ¡°Yep. Alas, Regis, I hardly knew ye!¡± she posed, and glared at the ruffians who were staring at her, and the other newcomers. Regis¡¯s bony body was still standing there, feebly waving around, looking for his skull. ¡°Uh, that¡¯s creepy, are you doing that?¡± ¡°Uh¡­no. Also, these guys have been stealing a lot of pocket money. Also, also, Kae ran off with a few other rats to warn the druid, and these guys aren¡¯t cool with Lost Souls Day.¡± ¡°Oy, enough!¡± one sharper-looking man with a black beard glared at her with coal black eyes, teeth biting on a corn pipe. ¡°You¡¯re trespassing! This is a legit business! We uh, subcontract the ratfolk for repossession claims!¡± ¡°Buddy, that might have worked for about five seconds, but your lack of enthusiasm for festivities and respect for the dead is shocking! Also, yeah, you look like thieves.¡± One of them pointed at Greg, however, and shrilled. ¡°Ah dragon crap, it¡¯s Lockheed''s kid! What do we do?!¡± ¡°Same thing we do when dealing with the rest of our ¡®problems¡¯,¡± the bearded one grinned as he grabbed a knife, and the others followed suit¨Cone guy in a floppy hat also conjured a fireball in his hands. ¡°Make sure they go to sleep with the fishes.¡± Fiona bellowed out in laughter, breaking up the tension. ¡°Dude, that is a classic line, and you have no idea why!¡±This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version. ¡°Well, we toss bodies to the fish in the fishery. It¡¯s a super clean way, those rainbow Remarian trout do make short work of problems¨C¡± ¡°Shut up, clod! Make short work of them, then we¡¯ll figure out what to do with the pile of bones walking around!¡± Another snarled. ¡°Kill the ginger first! She looks tough!¡± ¡°Hey, no one beats up my mage!¡± Fiona protested as she got underway. Distantly, she heard Greg call out that they were probably referring to her, instead. To say it was an uneven match, would be an understatement. Fiona walloped one into the wall and he left a ruffian-sized imprint in the brickwork of the storage room. Another slashed at her with a knife, and she parried it away with her weapon and let out a flash of bright light through Regis¡¯s skull¨Cwhich served as quite the nice damper, so she didn¡¯t blind herself. ¡°Aw gods, Fiona, the brightness of a thousand suns burns in your bangle, which is currently lighting up the inside of my head!¡± Regis protested. She had to admit, he was able to hold quite a coherent conversation as she and the others bludgeoned, beat up, and ensnared the ruffians into submission. She hastily stuffed him into her work satchel so he didn¡¯t become more broken. She stole a glance around her, and the situation was well-handled. Greg had taken a liking to this fighting with rolled-up sleeves and his leather gloves in full force, punching, kicking, grappling, and using improvised weapons like a workbench, a chair, and occasionally, smashing the ruffians into crates that exploded like loot pinatas of packing peanuts. She was pretty sure those small gold baubles housed within were not charity donations. No tax write-off, for these guys. Bonnie also dodged and weaved while using her wand to shackle the remaining two together with golden chains, and Darla finished them off by roundhouse kicking them in a way that even Chuck Norris would have been proud of. Fiona stood on one of them triumphantly and roared in victory. ¡°Who¡¯s next?!¡± she challenged them. The bearded one was being restrained by Greg, who jarred his head into a table, and he collapsed to the ground. ¡°Greg, no need to bruise them too badly.¡± ¡°They know me. And they know my father.¡± That little factoid from a few minutes ago had not been lost to him, and he smoothed his frazzled hair and put a boot on the bearded one¡¯s chest, twisting. The man groaned and tried to resist, but Greg summoned up his papery bindings, winding them around his wrists and forcing them behind his back, where he lay belly-first on the ground. ¡°Talk. Either to me, or the town watch, who are already on the way. Where¡¯s the druid?¡± ¡°How about, we put my head back on my pile of bones, first?!¡± Regis cried out from nearby, and Fiona peered into her satchel, seeing glowing eyes giving her a vacant, bewildered expression from the depths of his skull. ¡°Also, you have good taste in fashion, from what I can see from my vantage point." ¡°Why, thanks! Now, let¡¯s see here, the skull bone connects to the neck bone, and¡­hey, can you tell your lower half to sit still?¡± She frowned as Regis¡¯s lower body continued to tap around, as if looking for his head. She rolled her eyes. ¡°Well, this is an unpleasant first.¡± ¡°Just put my head in my hands.¡± Fiona tried not to snerk at this, but obliged poor Regis, whose lower body grasped his skull, and promptly put it on backwards. He rolled his eye orbs at this, and let out a soft sigh. ¡°The indignity of this.¡± One crunch of bone against bone later, he was facing the right way, and grinning at the ruffians too. ¡°Where¡¯d Kae go?¡± ¡°Hi, Kae here,¡± Kae number two grumbled. Regis had to do a double take. ¡°Are you multiplying? Why do you all have the name Kae?¡± ¡°We all wanted to sound cool! Now we just go by numbers,¡± Kae number two called out with a chattering of annoyance. He was warily watching Tucker kneading on one sprawled-out offender, who yowled in protest at the cat using him as a scratching post. ¡°Haha, better you than me, buddy!¡± he cackled in a tiny, squeaky voice. ¡°Now then, back to business. Where¡¯s your boss?¡± Fiona pressed the exceedingly heavy hammer onto the guy''s chest. ¡°There¡¯s a certain rat that has a treasure that belongs to Regis¨Cspecifically, his family! Do be a good thug, and point me in the direction of the nefarious boss henchmen! Or, I¡¯ll let my ferocious attack cat have his way with you!¡± ¡°Grrr.¡± Tucker¡¯s hair raised on end, and electricity crackled along his limbs while leering at the bearded man. Fiona stroked his fur gently, and he purred approvingly. ¡°Door at the far end leads upstairs to an office. The druid is likely whipping his ratfolk army into shape.¡± ¡°Why, thank you for the tip! Bonnie, shackle them until the town watch gets here. Greg, bruise them if they get up. Darla, continue looking prickly, that¡¯ll suffice!¡± ¡°You¡¯re gonna handle this?¡± Darla asked with a sharpened smile while striking a pair of cleavers together, as if sharpening them. ¡°Oh, this wishy-washy plant worshipper has messed with the wrong elf, today!¡± she declared, and dashed up the stairs to confront this villain. Bashing the door off the hinges probably was an excessive show of force, but it sure felt heroic as she charged into the room, her deadly phase cat growling with all the cuteness of a litter of kittens. They were in a large office area, where there were dozens of ratfolk assembled, none of them more than two or three feet tall, and they all gasped and screamed. A few fainted from fear, but none of them moved an inch from their assembly formation. A hulk of a man stood there at a lectern, dressed in plain brown trousers, a green cloak with a hood, and a regular business shirt, gasping and pointing at her ¡°Hands up, kiddies! This is the police!¡± she declared, teeth on edge and waiting for one of them to dare to make a move. ¡°Which one of you fast-fingered pilferers took something from my bone friend?¡± There was a burst of anxious laughter from the room, and a hollow-sounding groan from downstairs. ¡°Not that the statement is inaccurate, but that sounded awful, Fiona,¡± Regis called out. The bulky man narrowed his eyes at them, and pointed a single finger. ¡°Kill them.¡± ¡°Buddy, you just made my day a lot more fun,¡± She added with a flourish of her hammer and then pointed to the rats who had grabbed rat-sized weapons--some of them. ¡°I have one question, before we throw down. Will the real Kae, please stand up!?¡± she roared. It ended predictably, as all the rats looked at each other, and they all started fighting with each other over the too-cool name. Arguments broke into shouts, shouts broke into shoving matches, and them biting at each other''s tails in a full-out brawl. The druid at the front stared at this spectacle, all his minions now fighting each other, rather than their foe. ¡°I command you, to chew this woman to pieces, and bring me what¡¯s left of her head to me!¡± he shouted, banging a staff but to no avail. A brow sweat broke out on his face, and she hefted her hammer. ¡°Guess it¡¯s just you and me, buddy. In the words of my kinda-dead associate, you¡¯re boned.¡± ¡°Dammit Fi, I heard that one-liner coming from halfway across Cepalune!¡± Bonnie shouted from downstairs¨Cbut the words were lost, as Fiona charged into the fray. Vol. 2, Ch. 59: One Elven Wrecking Crew Fiona knew she would win against this chump, but she knew it wouldn¡¯t be an easy win, either. The druid dude could swing with his staff like he was some masterclass monk, but he folded like a wet paper towel as soon as she bypassed his blocks, and sent him reeling through the rice-paper-thin office wall, into another office. She didn¡¯t know how her weapon worked when she set it to ¡®humiliate¡¯, other than no matter how hard she swung, it didn¡¯t obliterate foes. Even when they bounced around like a rubber band ball. The same could not be said about anything not made out of solid steel. A stack of papers, a desk, and part of the wall were smashed in the skirmish, and the druid dude was not a good fighter. ¡°My brethren, small creatures, slay this woman!¡± ¡°The only thing you¡¯re slaying, is my enjoyment of this! I don¡¯t get to do adventuring things much anymore, it¡¯s more of a weekend thing, like hikes! Or jogging! Or, maybe that whole wine and paint thing everyone raves about, but I don¡¯t see the appeal!¡± She brought her hammer down and snapped his staff like a twig, and he stumbled backward, smashing into another wall that needed to go as part of her impromptu demolition. They were in the processing portion of the fishery by now, and it smelled exactly as flavorful as her last trip to Pink Crustacean, a less popular derivative of that other chain. She probably contributed to that place¡¯s premature closure when she took advantage of the ¡®all you could eat¡¯ shrimp buffet. She wasn¡¯t planning on doing the same here, because she was an elf now, and had to be at least somewhat environmentally conscious. But the druid dude wasn¡¯t out of tricks yet and snapped his hands in a quick motion of symbols, and vines erupted from the wooden floor and snaked through with thorny tendrils, trying to grab her. Neither she nor Tucker were going to be fooled by that, and Tucker zapped the noxious growth with his energy attack, causing them to writhe and retreat. The hammer smashed the stalks to a pulpy mess of plant matter that smelled like carrots. She didn¡¯t get that one, at all, and she didn¡¯t have to, because she was done messing around. The plants might not be affected by the goldshine, but the druid was, and a quick burst of light startled him, forcing him to shield his eyes, swinging blindly with his control over the plants. He¡¯d put too much control of them into his own hands. And it showed because they thrashed around, smashing workstations, and ice blocks that had been generated by the ice elementals utilized for all the chilling needs of the raw seafood in the facility. She slid under a conveyor as a pair of vines erupted and smashed down on the conveyor belt--and disturbed a poor elemental somewhere by a pulley and gear system, likely putting that overtime in. The vines impacted a block of ice encased around a rainbow-colored trout set, and left the fish on the ground. She eyeballed this slight against seafood pescatarians as the most egregious offense of all time. Now she had to beat this guy with all her effort, and she continued her slide, grabbing coins from her pouch and slicing them into the vines. ¡°Coinuken! Coinuken!¡± She kept cackling as the projectiles sliced through the thinner vines, which twitched on the ground, while the bigger vines took two or three solid hits to cut through. When she tried to fling them at the druid, who was now playing a defensive game, the vines protected him by instinct, with tree-sized limbs blocking the shots. She narrowed her eyes, how should she deal with that?¡± ¡°Tucker, go fetch me some fish!¡± she commanded, and Tucker leaped away from a smashing vine, trying to take a bite out of one and zapping it with fury. He chirped enthusiastically as he grabbed a fish, and leaped at her while dodging vines. She had an idea and stuffed a bunch of coins into the fish. If her recent discoveries about the power she had over gold, she could try something a little diabolical. She grinned even as she hopped back from a downward strike. She ignored the slimy texture of the fish, and lobbed it at the druid, who was confused about why she was flinging fish¨Cuntil her power activated and that fish hit him like a fishy missile, catching him on the chin and sending him reeling backward, smashing into ice blocks on the conveyor. ¡°What in the gods name¨Cow mah jaw,¡± he groaned, possibly with a bruised, or even a broken jaw. He wasn¡¯t out of the fight yet, and he made a twisting motion with his hands. More vines emerged from the ground and tried to pincer Fiona from two directions; she jumped to the side, smashing them out of her way when they got too close, with her hammer. ¡°I call that one my fish missile! It¡¯s like a magic missile, but more humiliating!¡± she heckled, leaping and tumbling forward as the vines grew noxious barbs. His response was garbled possibly because of his injured jaw, or he just didn¡¯t care. The thorns vibrated violently on the vines, and she saw what was about to happen. ¡°Tucker, dodge!¡± she barked out, and she grabbed ahold of the fur on his back, just as he blinked out of reality for a split second, and she reappeared with him a short distance away, while the thorns had rained down on their previous position like a shotgun blast of nails. By now, the druid was trying to make his way toward an exit door, using the vines to block their way, and throwing more of those nail-like thorns. One scraped by and bit into the tip of her ear, and she winced.If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. If this guy gave her a courtesy piercing on her cute ears, he was going to be sleeping with the fishes. Pun intended. It was too bad she couldn¡¯t fling gold, and then tether herself onto it, for her to launch like a Fiona-shaped battering ram of elven fury¨C She snapped her hammer to hand, and flung it with all her fury at the druid, just as he was about to open the door. The weapon smashed the door and creased it, embedded into the metal framework and crimping the handle shut. He stared bewilderedly at it, and tried to unsuccessfully pull the embedded weapon away--it was completely stuck. "Good gods, you''re gonna put a hole in a structural wall if you''re not careful!" His jaw seemed to be less broken--stupid exploitative heal spells--she liked it better when they weren''t monologuing or raging against her. "Or you could, I dunno, surrender! Instead of dragging this out!" He wants to drag this out, she thought with an internal sigh when he glared at her and commanded the vines to spit more of those thorny nail shots. It took a little more acrobatics work to fully dodge this volley, and the druid was panting from the exertion. Tucker kept trying to flank, but took a glancing blow from the sweeping strike of one of the defensive vines. They were exceedingly reactive, and it took more gold coinukens to thin their numbers. All she needed to do was bean this guy in the head once, and his concentration would be broken long enough for her to end this. She recalled her hammer with a hand grab into the air, and it spun away from the impacted door, flying to her outstretched fingers. She caught it gracefully and spun with the weapon using momentum to fling it even faster at the druid. He''d decided it was time to get out of dodge and was attempting to make his way to another doorway, once more, her aim was true, and the weapon smashed into the door handle, crimping it against the frame. ¡°Stop bloody doing that!¡± he roared. ¡°It¡¯s just a little bit of theft, woman, why are you making this so hard for me?¡± ¡°Dude, did you just whine like a little baby? Pfffft-hahahaha,¡± she burst out into laughter, even as she closed the distance, and grabbed an icy block. The adjacent ice elemental was still trying to encase a box of fish within. The wispy elemental threw a hissy fist in a puff of frost, but she pointed it at the vines. ¡°Hey hey, freeze those things, I¡¯ll give ya a treat of hot cocoa!¡± she called out. ¡°Wssssh.¡± She roughly translated that to ¡®Oh yes, please!¡¯ based on the reaction of the little spirit. She directed the ice elemental to instantly freeze some of the vines as she recklessly charged forward, Tucker buying her a distraction to go for the bruiser still looking for an exit. ¡°Who are you¨C¡± ¡°I¡¯m the gal who likes fish sticks, and you¡¯re making a mess of my favorite snacks!¡± It was personal now, this place likely was a source for half her favorite foods, and he was messing up the works with a bunch of rats pilfering and not following health codes! She had to put a stop to that, at once! For the city. And totally not for her own somewhat snacky reasons. She got her opening and pounced on the guy once she froze up another vine, and with them immobilized, she smashed him into the wall, leaving him dazed. After a few more punches and smashing in a few teeth that probably shouldn¡¯t be wiggling under her assault, the guy folded. ¡°Oww¡­ no mah. No mah, uncle!¡± he pleaded, and she stood over his prone body like a safari prize, while Tucker stood over him and growled. ¡°Spill it, rat catcher!¡± she shouted menacingly, and pulled him up by the scruff of his neck, and he winced. ¡°Why are you stealing gold from everyone? More importantly, where¡¯s the aegis of the Tel¡¯darn?!¡± He nodded weakly to his wrist, and she pulled back his sleeve to reveal a bracer of gleaming silver and a few small gems that glowed with their inner light. She could make out the faint trace of the griffin, just like Regis had shown her earlier, and she held it up like a Legend of Zelda treasure. After posing with the item for a second, she used the liquid gold ability to make a pair of gold cuffs out of a few pieces of gold that seemed to hold quite well their nefarious fish smasher. ¡°Tucker, we did it! We bagged ourselves a rat pack leader! Fiona the adventurer is back in business, and looking snazzy while doing it!¡± She let out a triumphant roar, while the vines all receded into the ground¨Cor shattered because of the ice, and the man before her groaned. She gave him a pat on the back. ¡°Please get your boot off my back. This is embarrassing.¡± ¡°So¡¯s jail, but hey thief, thanks for giving back something more important than gold!¡± She put the bracer on for safekeeping and spotted Regis peering at the devastation, soon followed by the others. Darla laughed out loud at the scene, and clamped her hand on a safety railing to steady herself. ¡°Girl, there is no such thing as subtle or normal with you around, is there?!¡± ¡°Hey, we¡¯ve been here since the beginning, demonic cactus,¡± Bonnie growled playfully. ¡°This is about on par with your typical experience. Or even ¡®light¡¯ as some might call it.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll talk to the town watch and insist that Fiona¡¯s guild license is still active and that she pursued a suspected criminal ringleader and¨Cyeah, this is going to be some paperwork,¡± Greg sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He frowned and glanced at Regis. ¡°Hey, you¡¯re looking a little shaky.¡± ¡°My unfinished business is almost done,¡± he replied solemnly, bony hands shaking. ¡°Fiona, I don¡¯t know how much time I have left. Can we make my way back to my family?¡± ¡°Yeah, let''s. Greg, Bonnie, I¡¯ve gotta go ahead, and make sure this gets to who it belongs to. Make sure to tell the town watch that we had a limited window of time,¡± Fiona declared as she pried open a door that she hadn¡¯t smashed in yet. ¡°Regis, let''s go. We¡¯ll get you home.¡± Vol. 2, Ch. 60: Finished Business The trip to Regis¡¯s home wasn¡¯t long, as his family was established in the outskirts of downtown. It was a small but tidy house that bore the trappings of his family symbol, the silver griffin, on the family banner out front. Now that Fiona thought about it, the symbol was also part of the Fiefdalian flag, too¨Cit must be a significant animal in the the kingdom¡¯s history; it was something she¡¯d ask Greg later. She put a gentle hand on the collarbone of the tall, thin skeleton man, and he turned slowly. She handed him the bracer after taking it off, and he glanced down, putting a bony thumb to trace across a faint tracing. ¡°Is that¡­¡± she trailed off, and saw a faint stenciling on the inside of it. ¡°¡®For Marielle¡¯. You had this planned for a very long time.¡± ¡°As soon as she was four years old. I loved my daughter to pieces, so does her mother. I can¡¯t imagine they¡¯ve taken my disappearance well. But, Margarette, she knew that¡­she knew I would never leave things unfinished, this life or next. I always followed through, I was always there for them.¡± He let out an airless sigh, and rapped on the door gently of the two story rusty red bricked house, with darkly painted timber accents. It reminded her of something out of Switzerland, almost. ¡°Regis, maybe I should go first? They see a skeleton before they see me, they might freak out,¡± she called out quickly. He took a slow step back im response. ¡°Let me talk to them, okay, and break the ice?¡± ¡°I¡­yes, I understand. Even on Cepalune, seeing undead is not always a good sign.¡± He took a slow step back, while she waited on the patio, and she heard a bolt click in the door. Fiona glanced up, the two moons were lit up, now, casting different hues of light on the world. Eventually, a woman with mousy brown hair and a face hardened by an adventurer¡¯s life showed up at the door, craning her head out. ¡°Hi, can I help you?¡± ¡°Yes, Missus Tel¡¯darn? May I call you Margarette?¡± the woman nodded slowly, and waved for her to continue. ¡°I doubt this is news to you, but, surely you¡¯ve received word of your husband?¡± ¡°I already know. I got word from one of my contacts in the town watch.¡± Instant trickles of tears and heartfelt memories gushed from her eyes when she rushed up to the cloaked form of Regis, who hugged her gently, guided by muscle memory, where muscles no longer existed. ¡°Regis, you should have found rest, dear. I¡¯ve missed you.¡± His blue fiery eyes dimmed almost to greenish motes, and his jaw opened slightly, in an airless exhale. ¡°Oh my dear, I¡¯m so sorry I left you and Marielle alone. I was trying to bring closure to one last thing, before I moved on. I found it. I found our legacy. Can you go get Marielle? I don¡¯t know how long I can hold this.¡± Fiona could see small particles of dust emanating from him. It was his bones, turning to nothing but motes in the air, and her gaze darkened. A finality in death seemed hard-earned, on this world. Distantly, she could hear the festival underway, and the sound of the small precession of floats likely going up one of the main streets. Occasional flashes of wizardly fireworks dotted the air¨Cnot to the same level as the harvest festival a few weeks prior, but still captivating in their own beauty, trying to emulate blues, oranges and deep reds. She glanced back to see a small child approach the doorway, gasping and rushing towards her mum and her father, embracing her fallen father as if not a single day had passed. As if his demise had been one of a temporary nature. Fiona wanted to take a step back and let them have their moment in the privacy of their home, but Tucker butted his head against her palm, letting out a soft purr. ¡°Yeah Tucker, I know, but maybe they¡­¡± she sighed softly and stroked the cat¡¯s fur, with him pushing against her outstretched hand gently. Tucker apparently had a desire for much needed head scritches. She heard soft-whispered words from the reunited family, and Regis showed his daughter the bracer¨Cand then, beckoned to Fiona. ¡°I¡¯d like you to meet someone, Marielle. Can you introduce yourself?¡± he asked quietly. ¡°Well, I uh¡­¡± she trailed off, but took Regis''s lead and straightened up. Fiona knelt to face the girl with the chipped smile and bright blue eyes, trying her best to hold back a tear by rubbing her cheeks. Fiona didn''t have that much experience with kids, but, she knew this girl needed a delicate word. Especially, with how hard she was trying to stay composed. ¡°Hi Marielle, I¡¯m Fiona. I knew your father a little bit, from the guild.¡± ¡°You¡¯re the hero who beat up the dragon. Everyone knows you,¡± Marielle called out in a soft voice, trying her best to mask her sobs with something like a stuffy nose. ¡°You¡­you went and helped my dad?¡± ¡°I did. I didn¡¯t know your dad too well in my early adventuring days, but¡­I do know a thing or two, about how important closure is to people,¡± she answered softly. Even now, she thought about regrets from before. ¡°I really wanted to help out.¡± ¡°You got me one last night with my dad. That¡¯s¡­that¡¯s the nicest thing anyone has done for us.¡± The girl tried not to sniffle, and Fiona smiled in response. ¡°Ah, it was nothing. Though, I was a tiny bit worried about my friend Bonnie getting nipped by a sewer gator. They don¡¯t like fluffy tails at all, they¡¯re so mean!¡± Marielle giggled at this, and she managed to steer the mood, at least a little. ¡°Anyway, I¡¯m glad I could help. Your father wanted you to have the legacy of his family. I see that it found its way to you.¡± Marielle glanced down at the bracer, which snugly fit on her arm¨Calmost as if the item was enchanted to match any humanoid size. Marielle hung her head low. ¡°I just want my dad. I know him and mom want to say a couple of words. I know he wants me safe, but¡­¡± Fiona patted her on the head gently. ¡°He was thinking about his family, first and foremost. Sometimes, love transcends¡­uh¡­well, you know, when the squishy parts of us¨C¡± ¡°Turn to dust?¡± Marielle finished. ¡°Well, I wouldn¡¯t put it that way,¡± Fiona laughed anxiously. ¡°The point I¡¯m trying to get at is, love outlives us. You know?¡± ¡°Yeah, it does. My dads said that, more than a few times." Fiona tried to ignore the itching and twitchy sensation as Wingding tried to get her attention, and Marille took the bracer off. ¡°Here, you should take this. You¡¯ll get¨C¡± ¡°It works only for you and your mom, Marielle. It¡¯s right where it needs to be.¡± She placed the bracer back in her hands, and she looked down, glumly. ¡°Hey, cheer up kiddo. Maybe with this, you could do something in amazing in due time!¡± ¡°You mean, be a hero like you?¡± Her eyes brightened at this idea of hers, and she smiled. ¡°I¡¯d love to be an adventurer like my dad.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a lot of work, kid. A lot of danger. Don¡¯t do it, unless you¡¯re really ready for it. I know you want to live up to your dad, and your mom¡­but, sometimes, you don¡¯t need to be an adventurer, to be a hero. You know?¡± ¡°Aww, that¡¯s what mom is always saying,¡± Marielle pouted. ¡°What about you? You don¡¯t mind throwing yourself into danger?¡± ¡°I¡­I guess I don¡¯t, actually. I¡¯ve faced down danger before. I think I was more scared, for other people, than I was for myself.¡± Fiona glanced at Regis, talking quietly with his wife, tear-streaked face and all, but smiling, and likely saying something endearing to her husband, back for a brief moment of time. ¡°Ah, don¡¯t let me deter you, Marielle. Know that your dad stayed true to his word.¡± Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation. Marielle sniffled, and nodded softly. Regis beckoned to both of them, and Fiona followed. ¡°I think my time might be just about up. Marielle¡­know that I love you, wherever I may go, okay?¡± ¡°I know, dad. Do you have to go?¡± ¡°I do. It isn¡¯t natural for the fallen to linger. Myself included. But I am proud to have had a loving family who go on to do great things.¡± Regis might not have a throat, but even voice was choked up slightly, as he hugged his daughter and wife. Fiona felt like this might be the moment to depart. But, Regis whispered something to them, and they hovered by the door, nodding solemnly. What¡¯s going on? She pondered, and Tucker nudged her again. Regis approached her, his eyes dimmed lightly. ¡°I¡¯ve said my farewells. They¡¯ve¡­had one funeral. It was a blessing I got one last chance to talk to them. I wanted to talk to you, Fiona. While I still have time.¡± ¡°Me?¡± ¡°Yes. There¡¯s something important that I didn¡¯t glean earlier.¡± Regis bowed his head beneath the cowl, and motioned for them to walk down the cobblestones. Marielle and her mother held each other at the doorway, and Magarette gave her a subtle nod. Fiona took that as her cue, and then walked down the path of the front yard. ¡°So¡­I know we didn¡¯t know each other that well. But, it always hurts when a fellow adventurer meets their end too soon,¡± Fiona said quietly. ¡°You¡¯ve had an interesting life, haven¡¯t you? When I use my mark¡­it shows your aura isn¡¯t the same as others. It¡¯s different. It burns brighter. Why?¡± ¡°I¡¯m uh¡­not from around here, you could say. I came from Earth. Another world, far away.¡± She scuffs her shoe, and he nods quietly. ¡°I thought as much. I¡¯ve seen other travellers from afar. They always read different¡­especially when they expire. I¡¯ve run into more than a few of them, with my powers as a medium¨Ca link between the living, and the beyond. It is also likely responsible for my stability, unlike the mindless.¡± He folded his hands within the cloak, head down, as if deep in thought. ¡°I was pulled from certain death. Or resurrected. Or reincarnated, I don¡¯t know what to call it, Regis. Fiona Swiftheart died on a Lunesday, on a world far, far from here. And if it sounds like I view it distantly, it''s because I do¡­and I still don¡¯t have any answers.¡± The words come slowly for her, in the chilly evening air. ¡°I¡­I don¡¯t know if I had any unfinished business back on Earth.¡± ¡°Ah. No mere summoner brought you, then. A god, or a goddess, brought you here. But I don¡¯t know which one. There is a faint mark¨Cthe gods always leave a trace, that even mediums can read¨Cand this one is obscured. Like someone smeared their signature, to avoid a trace.¡± Fiona paid attention. ¡°Why has no one ever mentioned this?¡± ¡°Few can see this. Maybe the administrators, but¡­¡± Regis trailed off. ¡°I sense though, you¡¯re still pondering your life, Fiona. You charge into battle with enthusiasm, and you¡¯re protective of your friends. But, I think, you¡¯re still trying to find your own center. Your own purpose in life.¡± She let out a soft huff. ¡°You know, you sound like Greg. He has¡­always had a good read on me. Even if he doesn¡¯t say it aloud. Look at me, Regis. I¡¯m a woman far away from everything I¡¯ve ever known, duking it out with scummy princes and thieving dragons. Or, maybe it¡¯s the other way around, scummy dragons and thieving princes?¡± Regis chuckled at that, and she frowned. ¡°C¡¯mon, I¡¯m trying to be honest.¡± ¡°I know. I think you¡¯ll never rest, until you have answers. I also think there¡¯s something else. You were brought here with purpose.¡± ¡°But, why me? So far, I have no answers, Regis. I only recently really tried hard to start digging. I¨CI didn¡¯t have a class until I showed up at the license office, a few weeks ago.¡± More motes of light and dust emanated from Regis, and his gaze flickered to his essence fading, then her. ¡°Everyone has purpose, Fiona. You are no exception. I think someone chose you for a very important task. The gods do not do so, without express intent. And I think it''s tied to your mark.¡± She¡¯d tried to ignore the itching sensation that had been going on for a minute, and Regis gazed at the flash of light on her wrist. Fiona watched with fascination as the small winged heart now appeared to have grown pauldrons accenting her wings¨Cand they bore the mark of the griffin that she had seen on the Tal¡¯darn family crest. Regis traced a bony hand onto her wrist, eyes dimming. She glanced up at him. ¡°I know this one. Even dead gods can speak through the mediums, but this one has been silent longer than all the other fallen. Feo¡¯thari is gone¡­but not forgotten.¡± ¡°But, what does it mean? I¡¯m no goddess, Regis. I mean, I¡¯m pretty sure I¡¯m not.¡± ¡°I think that answer will come in time. But¡­for what it''s worth¡­you¡¯ve got a brave heart. I guess it is, indeed, in the name.¡± Fiona chuckled softly even as Regis gave her bony grin. ¡°But for a real bit of advice¡­go south. I think the Bar¡¯dathi might have the answers you¡¯re looking for. I can sense the trace of the divine, and it leads in their direction. Something of Feo¡¯thari survives. But, to re-emerge after so long¡­I can only grasp its meaning.¡± ¡°Bad, or good meaning?¡± ¡°For there to be a spark of something left of one of the most important, and criminally forgotten goddesses of our world? I would say it¡¯s a good thing, dear. But you might have some leg work ahead. As they say. Good things never come easy.¡± ¡°No. They don¡¯t. Regis, I¨C¡± she decided that words weren¡¯t enough for this, and gave the skeletal man a hug, and she let out a soft sigh. ¡°I don¡¯t wanna lose the good things in my life. Especially Greg, but don¡¯t tell him I said that. He¡¯d clam up and do that stern faced thing like he always does. And Bonnie, and Darla and¡­oh it¡¯s too long a list.¡± A meow of protest got her attention. ¡°Yes, you¡¯re on my list too, Tucker, front page.¡± Fiona saw his time was up, as bits of bone turned to dust, and a golden glow emanated from his bones, and he motioned gently for space. ¡°Don¡¯t grieve for me, dear, I¡¯ve had time to move on from the world¨Cyou, still have a center to find. Go find it. I have this feeling that the title you chose has more meaning than dramatic flair.¡± She nodded, trying not to cry. ¡°When I get there someday Regis, I¡¯ll look you up¡­with whatever comes next.¡± The glow became too intense to look at, and Fiona averted her eyes. When she looked again it was an empty street¨Cthe only thing left was the outfit Regis had been wearing, to keep his appearance inconspicuous. Despite her best efforts, she felt steaming hot streaks run down her face. Even Tucker¡¯s gentle efforts did little to brighten her mood. ¡°You think mommy¡¯s crazy?¡± she whispered after she knelt down, and hugged her cat. ¡°Because I¡¯m starting to wonder if I am.¡± ¡°You¡¯re not.¡± She gazed at Margarette, having dried her tears and approached them, and gently picked up Regis¡¯s cloak. She held the garment close to her chest, before nodding to the two of them. ¡°My husband¡­knew a lot about people that they didn¡¯t know about themselves. He was always like that. Tapped into what makes a person, I mean. He was never wrong. Not once.¡± ¡°I wish I could have known him better.¡± Fiona tried to hide her strained voice, to no avail. ¡°Did you¡­should I stay the night?¡± Margaret smiled faintly. ¡°I think that would make Marielle''s day, if you could.¡± Fiona nodded softly, before letting out a soft breath. ¡°Ah, I missed the festival. But, I guess I got to see first hand that not all roaming souls are lost. Some of them do find their way home.¡± Vol. 2, Ch. 61: Hero Next Door There was a little bit of crying in the house¨CFiona knew that was unavoidable, but she also saw that Margarette¡¯s home was filled with love and laughter after she stepped inside. After a while, friends and extended family slowly made their way to the quaint two-story house. It wasn¡¯t a huge house. Or flashy. But to her, it was filled with warmth and love, and extra space became unnecessary. She was surprised at the lack of mourning, but after thinking about it for a moment¡­she realized they¡¯d had a chance to mourn, months ago. Now, was a time to regale about a life beyond. Of course, they wanted to hear the whole story¨Chow she met Regis, how he came across her yesterday, and of course, her exploits in helping him find the bracer, one that Marielle¡¯s mother allowed her to strap on, and try to demonstrate. Much to Fiona¡¯s surprise, the device activated and the metal of the bracer unfurled; Marielle blinked out of existence in a flash of light. Everyone panicked for five seconds, until they heard a squeal of delight. Fiona glanced upward, and let out a palpable sigh of relief as Marielle appeared by the second-floor landing, jumping for joy. ¡°Mommy look! I teleported!¡± Marielle squeaked, and her mother let out a palpable sense of relief. ¡°I had been told that there were two functions for it: The safety of heart, and the safety of home. You picked the safety of your bedroom dear,¡± Margarette said after Marrielle bounded down the stairs, and bowed to the amusement and soft claps of friends and family. ¡°While it is limited to the Tel¡¯darn family¡­it is very potent.¡± ¡°Uh, hang on.¡± Fiona squinted and saw a faint shimmer in the air where Marielle had just been¨Clike the mirage of a desert, distorting reality ever so slightly. But, when someone walked through, nothing happened¨Cit was as if the space were unoccupied. She glanced down at her wrist, where Wingding was flexing her new pauldrons. The discussion got her thinking about what Wingding might have acquired this time. ¡°You said it has two functions? But, how do you discern the two?¡± ¡°Oh, I know! The magic sequence is baked into it! I can see the images of what to do!¡± Marielle giggled. ¡°Fiona, take your hammer, try to swing at me.¡± She gasped at this rather dangerous request. ¡°Uh, Marielle, my hammer isn¡¯t a toy, it¡¯s a dangerous weapon, and should be treated as such.¡± The chipper girl frowned and pouted¨Cand added a foot stomp for emphasis. ¡°Mommy, she thinks I can¡¯t take it!¡± ¡°Oh dear. I don¡¯t doubt your tenacity and your early weapon training Marielle, but this is not a game. I believe a demonstration is in order.¡± Margarette took the bracer from her daughter, who pouted a little, flexed her wrist gently, and took a defensive posture like she was sparring. ¡°Fiona, you don¡¯t mind if you take a light swing, do you? My husband may have had the expertise of communing with the beyond and working through labyrinths, but I was his sword and shield.¡± ¡°You look ready,¡± Fiona smirked as the rest of the room gave her space, and she pulled her weapon. ¡°You¡¯ll forgive me if I don¡¯t swing at full force. It¡¯s meant for fighting monsters, not people.¡± ¡°Aye. Take your best shot, ginger snaps!¡± Margarette challenged. Fiona grinned at the playful tease, and brought her weapon up in the air, intending to strike. Margarette stood there, waiting, and just when she was worried this woman might suffer serious harm, snapped her wrist upward to block. She saw the plating unfold from the bracer and rapidly take the rigid shape of a shield her hammer bounced off of with a deafening ringing sound. More telling was the resounding blow knocked her backward, leaving her staggered, and she stared bewildered at Margarette, giving a respectful bow. ¡°Wow! Okay, that¡¯s kinda cool!¡± Fiona quickly put away her hammer onto her compact haft form, and examined the shield, which Margarette was showing to her daughter, clapping and jumping excitedly. ¡°Safety of the heart, and safety of the home! I love it!¡± She noted the gleaming metal bands were similar to a camera iris from the center of the bracer; the crest of the griffin was still visible, and a few gems adorned on the edge. ¡°Aye, it¡¯s a prized possession of the family. It was made generations ago, and it¡¯s passed from mother to daughter, father to son, and so on. Fiona, you took such a risk, fighting against dangerous thieves, to bring this home to us¡­Thank you. I know we can''t offer much--¡± ¡°I would have done it for any adventurer, and without asking for a thing. The guild put me on the map, when I was nobody in a world I didn¡¯t understand. And¡­maybe it helped me discover a piece of myself.¡± Fiona tried not to think of Regis''s parting words of wisdom¨Cof trying to find her center. The more she thought about it, she realized maybe Greg was right. She¡¯d replaced a gaping hole in her heart with distractions, when she needed to focus on things like this. She gazed at the gathered friends and family, and nodded slowly. ¡°Regis was a good man, the little I knew of him. He was quick with a joke, always the first to guide the new guys to keep them from getting on the sticking end of a goblin, or bitten in half by a nasty monster. Poor Virgil though¨Che wasn¡¯t sitting comfortably for a few days, this one time, after he cut it a little too close.¡± This elicited a few heartfelt laughs. She barely registered the door opening, and saw Greg and the others had come in, looking relieved. ¡°Anyway, I wanted to introduce a few friends. Some of you I think know them from my shop, since I do a few return customers. Greg, Darla, Bonnie? Are we all set?¡± ¡°We are,¡± Bonnie replied warmly before taking her fancy hat off her head¨Cthey hadn¡¯t had time to clean up except for a cursory dust-off from the sewers and the fishery, but she was still bright-eyed and confident. ¡°Hey, I¡¯m glad we were able to help. I knew Regis a little bit more than Fiona¨Che had a kind heart. And it showed.¡± ¡°I knew Regis, too. Quiet, but well rehearsed. He was always a good source of insight when I interacted with him,¡± Greg chimed in after a moment. ¡°Anyway, I didn¡¯t want to intrude, we came here in a hurry so that we could at least leave the town watch with some information, before we departed.¡± ¡°If you guys could stay a little, it would be appreciated. My husband¡­¡± Margarette took a small breath, trying to fight back an errant tear, ¡°He wasn¡¯t a big person dwelling on the deceased. He celebrated the life people lived, the good times. He saw¡­even in their deaths a bright ray of light, most of the time.¡± ¡°Aye.¡± Darla nodded solemnly with a few people gazing at her curiosity. ¡°I remember Regis, he used to frequent my shop, something like¡­oh, I dunno, maybe a couple of times a week? He¡¯d stay for a while and always ask for my light roast blend. Hah. He always liked it hot, it didn¡¯t matter if it was the heart of summer or the depths of winter. He always liked it piping hot. I told him he was going to burn his mouth, but he didn¡¯t listen.¡±Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site. Darla finished with a coy smile, flipping her hair gently. ¡°He was a creature of habit. Same coffee, same way every time. After a while, I didn¡¯t need to take his order¨CI knew what he wanted, while he read a newspaper, early in the morning, before going to the adventurer¡¯s guild hall. He was an early riser. Always telling me what the fallen were saying at any given time. He said he learned a lot of things by listening when other people turned a deaf ear. I remember one time, he was conversing with a specter, early in the morning. He gave her the courage to move on from the world. Only in Cepalune is it routine to see the fallen walking about, and able to find closure, if they look for it.¡± Others chimed in about Regis, regaling about some interesting stories of the places he traveled. Margarette knew many of them, and laughed at more than a few of the stories. Eventually, though, the evening waned, and people slowly made their way home, looking brighter than when they had entered. After a short period, it was just Fiona and her friends. ¡°You¡¯re all welcome to stay the night. We do have guest quarters, on account of a travelling family, but I also know you have a shop to run¨C¡± ¡°We¡¯ll stay. I expect the town watch will want to interview us tomorrow, I told them we¡¯d be here,¡± Greg answered. ¡°Yeah, we should get some rest. Though, I think a certain miniature adventurer was eyeing a blanket fort for the evening.¡± Marielle more than nudged her, now with the bracer firmly back on her arm and grinning lightly. ¡°When¡¯s the last time you made a blanket fort? Aren''t elves supposed to be super graceful as they age?¡± she asked, looking smug in that statement. ¡°Hey, I¡¯m not that old! Only thirty¡­ish.¡± She really should take a count of just how old she was. What if she got transmigrated, with fewer years on the clock? Eh. That''s a problem for another day.
The next day was pancakes with the Tel¡¯darns¡­and an interview with the Town Watch, who were busy taking statements. Most of them were inane questions by some rookie officer, and Greg had to keep course correcting him to the facts. Fiona did, however, appreciate the presence of Detective Pierre, the wolven investigator they''d met earlier, who was in attendance. ¡°So, you guys decided to break up a gold smuggling ring. With no backup," the wolven stated dryly, and clicking her claws against a table gently. ¡°We didn¡¯t know it was a gold smuggling thing! We were helping a recently deceased person get back a family treasure!¡± Fiona willed herself to be patient¨Cluckily, Marielle slid a plate of chocolate chip pancakes to her. Pierre got one too, and she saw a gleam of delight in her eyes when the little girl used the doll-eyed look, poking her fingers together. ¡°Fiona helped my dad. That means a lot.¡± ¡°Aye, Marielle. But there¡¯s a proper way to help.¡± Pierre had softened her tone, her ice-blue eyes surveying the room. At the least, her posture was more relaxed, and her tail bobbed gently. ¡°I will say though, Mister Lockheed reminded me your adventurer license is still active. You did act within your rights. The property damage was minimal, and there was a pseudo forced servitude situation that needed to be resolved.¡± ¡°I do tend to keep my friends out of trouble when it comes to understanding the law,¡± Greg responded after a second, before taking a bit of whipped cream and putting it on a pancake. Fiona grinned¨Che could indulge, after all! Bonnie and Darla did too, leaning in and occasionally filling in the gaps. ¡°At any rate, Detective Pierre, we found some disturbing things. The druid was transfiguring debtors into ratfolk. There was a lot of gold recovered. And some of it seemed to be targeted at Miss Swiftheart¡¯s vault. This was quite organized and under the city watches¡¯ nose.¡± ¡°Those guys are going to prison for a long time, all the evidence should be quite clear-cut,¡± Pierre stated with more than a hint of irritation as she tapped a clawed finger on the table. She relented and took a bite of pancakes, and her ears perked up. ¡°This is¡­really good--" "Wsssssh." Pierre stared at the frosty elemental that had popped up from the kitchen, holding a cup of cocoa, and letting out a whistling exhale of joy. "What...is that?" Fiona nodded proudly. "This one helped with a thorny situation. Involving the druid. Geddit?" She did the finger pistol salute--and no one reacted. This salute is so nerfed. Ugh, she thought in resignation. "So, she got a treat from us." "Uh, Fiona, elementals aren''t--" Pierre sighed, and threw up her hands. "Okay, you know what, she has to go back, elementals are supposed to tether to equipment or people." Fiona pouted for a moment, and Greg nodded. "Alright fine, we''ll take her back. I did honor a promise." ¡°Hey, since I''m back here, sure I can¡¯t get you a coffee?¡± Darla proposed, having helped Margarette in the kitchen. She held a steaming mug of some caffeinated delight in her hand. Pierre wrinkled her muzzle and nodded with enthusiasm. ¡°Just milk for me, then. I know you¡¯ll do your magical art, Darla.¡± Darla flashed a smile in response, then got to work, chatting with Margarette briefly. Pierre then regarded the rest of them. ¡°Fortunately, we were able to transfigure all the Kae¡¯s back to their base forms. They had an interesting story to tell.¡± ¡°Oh?¡± ¡°They said that money was going to the Santino family, or that¡¯s where the money was supposed to be dropped off with, a bagman or some other burnable courier. Do you know who they are?¡± Pierre asked, claws clicking gently together. ¡°Crime family?¡± Fiona asked. "It sounds like a crime family." ¡°Bingo. I think they might be the same people that tried to torch your store a few weeks ago. That''s what my contacts have been saying, they recognized the barrels." ¡°Aha! I knew it! They knew who Greg was!¡± Fiona saw Greg wag his head and look anxious. ¡°I mean, uh, they must have recognized him from the store!¡± ¡°Maybe they were targeting Greg, after all, and it was just a coincidence it was Fiona¡¯s shop, a couple of weeks. Much as I don¡¯t want to believe there¡¯s exonerating evidence for the likely culprit.¡± Bonnie did more than subtly glance out the window, where a tapestry of the palace could be seen. Pierre sighed, then put up a hand of assurance to all at the table. ¡°I am aware of who mister Lockheed¡¯s estranged family is. They are not the only family of¡­questionable legality in the city. The Santino¡¯s are another family of riverfolk who have a network of alleged thieves. This new effort is¡­interesting. Stealing a little, from a lot of people? Individually, the theft is small, too little for the police to notice. But this adds up. And the recovered gold shows they tried to take a lot from your vault. Several thousand gold worth of items, all recovered.¡± Fiona narrowed her eyes. ¡°To think we didn¡¯t notice at first. But why me? I don¡¯t suppose they¡¯ve been seen in proximity with, say, a certain blonde with a bad haircut whose name rhymes with Harry, have they?¡± Pierre frowned before she took another bite of her pancake, as if not wanting to deal with responding to this one. ¡°No, Miss Swiftheart. It gets more interesting. They¡¯ve made recent contacts with the new government of Vale.¡± Everyone looked at each other anxiously. ¡°Greg, want me to say it?¡± Fiona finally called out. ¡°All roads lead to¡­Vale?¡± He winced--he was still not quite on board for this, yet. ¡°Yeah. or, Rome, back where I came from.¡± She peered at Wingding, trying to get her attention with flaps of Morse code. S¡­n¡­e¡­a¡­k¡­ I think you misspelled ¡®snake¡¯ dear, she thought silently, while pondering this development. She had to figure out what was happening in Vale, and the elves. Too many things were starting to lead in that direction. But, how could she run the shop, act as a negotiator for this trade deal, and keep Barry in her sights? How could she be in two places at once? If she brought up her nagging suspicion driven by too many bad TV plots right now, they would think she was crazy, for real. And not just eccentric. Fiona¡¯s ears perked up, and she started giggling, once she saw Wingding flapping excitedly. Greg had his deer-in-the-headlights look, and Bonnie grinned widely. ¡°Why do I get this feeling you had a great idea?¡± she asked, rubbing her hands together. ¡°Our shop is about to crack open a mobile branch on the road, Bonnie. Let¡¯s talk about it later, we¡¯ve got a shop to run today. Pierre, are we clear for the day?¡± Fiona inquired, eager to stretch her legs. ¡°You betcha. If we need any more paperwork, we know where to find ya. Also, I think we owe you a small stipend or reward for helping with that situation.¡± ¡°Cool!¡± Fiona straightened in her chair, her mind buzzing with ideas. She could be in two places at once. She just needed to test this one, as the first step of the plan. Vol. 2, Ch. 62: Free Gift With Every Purchase Fiona knew without a doubt that she had a solution¨Cat least part of one¨Cto dealing with Barry, and figuring out what was rotting under Fiefdala. She also had to explain this in a way that left Bonnie, Darla, and Greg, gasping. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. What?!¡± It was Greg¡¯s turn to act flabbergasted like this wasn¡¯t the craziest thing she¡¯d said. It probably was, though. ¡°You heard me. The evil bard witch is using Lucy, possibly Rikkard, and definitely Barry in some scheme of hers, getting them to dance to her tune. I don¡¯t think they realize they¡¯ve been affected. Well, Barry maybe, but because he¡¯s too stupid actually to be affected by it. He¡¯s just a malicious jackass.¡± It was an hour before opening at the shop, and she¡¯d called everyone early after a few days of relatively normal business. Pierre was still taking up the inventory of the missing gold, and Fiona was peering at Wingding. Greg was standing at the kiosk, staring at her. ¡°You¡¯re telling me that you think Lucy is under some compulsion? And Rikkard? Two of the most heavily protected people in the Kingdom, and Barry? Do you think they¡¯re all under a spell? Lucy was fine with burning the trade deal with Vale! She does not trust Glados, and I know she is very strong-willed. Fiona, I don''t like saying you''re wrong, but...this move would be noticed. Glados could not pull that off for long, if at all." ¡°C¡¯mon Greg, we should at least check it out!¡± She¡¯d done her reading over the past few days and confirmed with Bonnie, who had told her it might be possible. ¡°You know what my first clue was? Barry. The way he panicked when I told him to go screw off at the party, and that I¡¯d never negotiate with Vale. Like he¡¯s desperate to avoid something.¡± ¡°I mean, we know he gambles,¡± Darla pointed out. ¡°You said as such after the harvest festival, he probably lost a ton of money trying to fix that tournament.¡± ¡°Not to mention, his father caught him stealing,¡± Bonnie furthered, smoothing her fur and tapping at a rune that she was finishing in the oven. ¡°So, there¡¯s history to indicate Barry is in over his head or doesn¡¯t give two licks about this Kingdom, and running it into the ground. The fight against Douglas did drain the coffers somewhat. Greg, how much could it have impacted the kingdom, collectively?¡± ¡°Enough that Barry saw a questionable deal from Vale, and was willing to take his chances on it. Glados might not even need to manipulate him in that way,¡± Greg concluded, frowning lightly as he counted the coins in the till. ¡°Kali, we¡¯re short several coins.¡± ¡°Check under the till. Your instructions, anything over a twenty, go underneath, and it gets a magic dweomer,¡± Kali clucked. He pointed a clawed finger at the crude stick figure of Barry Fiona had put on a whiteboard. It was her best effort to lampoon the man as much as she could manage. "Seriously. What¡¯s her angle? Why not manipulate Rikkard?¡± ¡°The more you use a compulsion, the easier someone can figure it out, and you build up a mental resistance to it. Enchanting school 101,¡± Bonnie explained. ¡°It¡¯s a nasty business, screwing with people¡¯s minds magically, and I doubt Rikkard could be affected--he''s tough as nails, physically and mentally. Here in Cepalune, people get resilient against it. I don¡¯t know about our elf here, since she isn¡¯t from Cepalune originally.¡± ¡°I''d just sing a song really loudly. I hear that it can break a compulsion," Fiona proposed. "If I hear you sing ''Sweet Little Psycho'' one more time, I''m going to lose my mind," Greg groaned. Fiona stuck her tongue out at him in a playful jest. "I think there are some imports from Earth we could do very much without." "Sheesh, mood." Fiona tapped Wingding who almost acted as if she¡¯d been tickled, running away from Fiona¡¯s finger. ¡°The point is, as soon as Barry failed to follow through, and the King was aware that he was up to skeeving, Glados got a little desperate.¡± ¡°Speculation,¡± Greg pointed out. ¡°Hang on. Has our elf ever been wrong on things of this nature?¡± Darla posed while preparing some delicious bacon sandwiches, and offered one to Greg. He only slightly hesitated before taking a hearty bite. ¡°Suppose she¡¯s right. Glados can only do that for so long before someone would notice.¡± ¡°Except, I don¡¯t think anyone has.¡± Fiona tapped her finger on the counter, trying to figure out the angles. ¡°You know what was odd when Barry dropped the tax on me? No celebration. If I had to take a tally, half the staff was missing, or not working at the palace that day. You think that¡¯s a little strange?¡± ¡°Budget cuts, maybe?¡± Greg suggested. ¡°Nah. That doesn¡¯t hold up. They were also putting in expensive glass windows. Opulence, maybe, but I think they reduced staff or sent people home, so that no one would have a close eye on what Glados is doing. The next thing is Lucy. I¨C¡± She winced. She did like Lucy. maybe more than she cared to admit to herself, because she found herself missing her talks. She¡¯d touched base a few times in the past week, but she still had her ear to the ground, seeing what her brother was up to. ¡°Okay, show of hands. Who thinks Lucy is compelled?¡±Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings. No one raised a hand. ¡°Fi, Lucy¡¯s pretty strong-willed. I don¡¯t think she¡¯s compelled." Bonnie was the first to take a stab at the theory hesitantly. Which, Fiona was relieved at. Bonnie wasn''t afraid to tell her when she was wrong. ¡°Are you guys willing to take a gamble on that? I¡¯m trying to filter out my uh¡­personal feelings on this one.¡± ¡°Ooh, you do like that hot pocket!¡± Darla teased, golden eyes glimmering with mischief. ¡°That hot pocket is gonna be the death of me if this keeps up, Darla.¡± Fiona raised an eyebrow at that rather suggestive statement. ¡°Seriously though, you think I should ask her on a date someday? After we deal with her idiot brother and the nefarious advisor?¡± ¡°If you don¡¯t, I will. Hmm. Maybe boy toy will love that idea.¡± Darla leaned on the counter, looking quite amused by the notion, and licking her lips. ¡°Don¡¯t make me get the mage to soak you in an ice water bath. It¡¯s in the rules of the establishment,¡± Fiona proposed. She just hoped Greg hadn¡¯t deleted that line she snuck in. "Okay, you guys don''t buy it. Dead theory. Next idea." ¡°Let''s storm the palace, take Glados out in chains, and bust a move on her!¡± Kali called out, punching his hands together. ¡°Yeah, justice, the Adventurer¡¯s way!¡± ¡°Whoa, slow down there, cowbird.¡± Fiona couldn¡¯t help but applaud Kali¡¯s enthusiasm. ¡°We need proof, first. As much fun as it would be to drag that blonde bunny through the lake as impromptu fishing bait, that power move would likely not be well received." ¡°Hang on, let¡¯s presume that Glados is working with Vale. What¡¯s the end game?¡± Greg asked. ¡°Money! It¡¯s always money, Greg.¡± She patted his shoulder adoringly, and he grunted. ¡°Name a scheme that didn¡¯t involve money, revenge, or boredom.¡± ¡°I¡­would be hard-pressed to counter that. Also, you fit the profile for all three of those.¡± His raised eyebrow was the most accusatory thing she¡¯d ever seen from him, and she huffed indignantly. ¡°Now, how do you plan to prove this? In a way that we can verify evidence?¡± ¡°We need to find her contacts in Vale. If they exist. Damn, me telling Barry to piss off might have actually worked against us," she grumbled. "I still say he might be compelled. Bonnie, can we prove it?" Bonnie nodded and finally finished etching a rune. ¡°You betcha. Glados might be clever, but if she has anyone compelled, she has to keep in close range of them or keep a means of reapplying the compulsion. It can be subliminal messaging, so it isn¡¯t always easy to trace. But, the closer you are to the person, the easier it is to pull off.¡± ¡°I still don''t buy it. Barry couldn''t be compelled for this long,¡± Greg countered, ever the skeptic. ¡°Forgive me for finding this a bit of a stretch, Fiona. We already have a lot of problems on our plate.¡± ¡°The rats stealing out of the vault, a bit at a time? That was to put pressure on us, to bring us to the negotiation table about Vale. Except, that failed, and I bet Goldibeard is about to lose his collective cool and do something stupid. Much to my benefit,¡± Fiona grinned. ¡°Now, we need to know the connection Glados has with Vale. That means going there, and being part of the negotiations. While I¡¯m there, I will be doing my best to figure out their angle, keep Barry safe from his own idiocy, and torch this whole deal.¡± ¡°You want to torch it? Yeah, I like this! You sure you weren¡¯t a darkling in a previous life?¡± Darla asked, all sharpened smiles and polishing a horn to look presentable for the day. ¡°Yes dear, I totally was. I just shave down my horns every day. I hate it when they grow back,¡± she added with a playful tease. Darla laughed merrily at this. ¡°The other part of this problem is this: being two places at once. Vale is¡­not exactly down the street.¡± ¡°So, how do you solve that one?¡± Greg asked. ¡°Dude, Wingding has the solution already. Remember how I helped Regis?¡± She tapped the left pauldron on Wingding¡¯s wing, and her gold bangle glowed light. When she braced her arm as if shielding against an incoming attack, something spectacular happened. The gold split and folded like a camera iris, and within a split second, she was holding up a golden shield with silver metal banding forming the backing of the shield, and she grinned as she flashed the shield to all. ¡°You got the Aegis of Tel¡¯darn?!¡± Bonnie gasped. ¡°But, it¡¯s keyed to only the Tel¡¯darn family, and the bracer¨Cwait, hang on, it formed from your gold bangle! It¡¯s not quite the same, but¡­it¡¯s similar.¡± ¡°So, this is my theory craft.¡± Fiona took a deep breath and tapped the shield gently with one finger, listening to the sweet note coming off the metal. ¡°Wingding acquires the powers of items that people¡­share a bond with. This happened to Levy, and this happened to Marielle. Both times, I reunited something emotionally connected with the people they were separated from. Something with a deep family history. I mean, we only have a sampling of two, but¡­¡± Greg perked up. ¡°I¡¯ve heard of this. There is a specialization of the rogue class called the tinkerer. It¡¯s an exceedingly powerful class that is rarely observed in people¡¯s ¡®natural¡¯ class, the one they would end up with, if they left their class choice to chance. But, the administrators don¡¯t typically assign many of that particular class. Most people haven¡¯t even heard of it.¡± ¡°But, you have?¡± Darla pressed. Kali also flapped his wings in excitement. before speaking. ¡°No Greg''s right! Look, my mom and dad might be gone, but they did tell me about a cousin of theirs who had that class. Supposedly, you can steal the abilities of other classes with physical contact with a person. And then they can¡¯t use that ability for a short period. But, why¨C¡± Fiona tapped the other bracer, and felt a flash of light¨Cthen a quick floating through air before she landed smack-dab in the middle of the piece of tape formed in the shape of an ¡®X¡¯ in the center of the floor. Kali stared, his speech interrupted. He looked back at where Fiona was, then where she currently was, several times. As did the rest of them. Except Greg, who smiled faintly. Fiona jumped in the air triumphantly, and let out a roar of triumph. ¡°Uh¡­¡± Kali stuttered for a few seconds. ¡°What just happened?¡± ¡°I teleported to my safe place! My home away from home!¡± Fiona made a fist pump through the air. ¡°Now the only challenge is, can I do this, all the way from Vale?!¡± ¡°Tell me we¡¯re not doing this,¡± Darla sighed. ¡°Oh no. I¡¯m going, along with Greg. Bonnie, Kali, and you will hold the fort, while I go sleuthing for clues. Cita will also come along, and Lucy will be there, snooping on the probable dastardly deeds of her brother. And whenever I have downtime, your moneymaker elf will be here, attending to customers!¡± ¡°We really should check the limitations on this one,¡± Greg stated, already jotting down something on his arcanist pad. ¡°Let¡¯s run some tests.¡± ¡°Hey, I¡¯m the mage! I should test! So, you know, we don¡¯t have our elf turned into a cautionary tale about magic gone wrong.¡± Bonnie, too, was pulling out instruments. ¡°After we finish with the store today, we¡¯re gonna experiment!¡± Vol. 2, Ch. 63: A Tour Of Fiefdala After another busy day of work at the shop, Fiona took inventory with Greg of the remaining stockpile: they were making headway on selling the loot, to the tune of being just over halfway to the goal, assuming Barry didn''t cheat, lie, or otherwise pull even more unsavory things. Greg kept saying maybe they should just smuggle the money away, and that he ¡®knew people¡¯ who could help. It might have been the first time she''d heard him joke about his family. She''d had to remind him that probably wouldn''t work out well for anyone involved. After the shop closed up, she switched to some casual wear, and Greg did the same. It was unusual, to see him dressed in anything other than his usual professional attire. He probably put more stock into it than his apartment. That notion made her sad: he should have a home at least as cozy as her place. ¡°Run this by me. You want to check how far a range this has?¡± She was jogging at a steady pace, the brisk fall air chilling against her body as they went through the south portion of the city, along the main avenues lined with trees now looking more and more barren. However, some still had plentiful orange and gold leaves clinging to them, illuminated by the arcane streetlights spaced along the main throughway, where steam machines drew heavy cargo. Greg nodded, keeping pace with her in his athletic gear, toned muscle accented in a way that his usual business wear never gave a hint of. He even wore a faint smile as he kept pace, weaving through an intersection where people were standing in line for a hot meal from a food cart. ¡°Correct. Your magic is very unusual, Fiona. I must admit a genuine curiosity about this. I have never heard of someone, other than a tinkerer, possessing such a broad suite of abilities. Or, on a woman who already makes dragons cry for fun.¡± ¡°There was only one! Doug was such a pushover.¡± She turned a corner as they worked past the business area, two and three-story fronts of stone, mage steel, and slowly rising scaffolding of major projects going up. It was like she was watching a city growing into an industrial state, though some had been stalled since she arrived in town. It felt good to get out and take a tour, her fleet feet barely touching the cobblestone and brick pathways, and her blood pumping in her veins. This was invigorating, something she¡¯d not been doing enough of lately. ¡°Anyway, how far do you think we should try this from?¡± ¡°Just about¡­here.¡± He stopped and took a breather, and a small water flask he kept on his hip. He took a drink and offered it to her. She took it and took a sip. ¡°Teleportation without a portal is a bit different. That''s why I have Bonnie observing when you teleport back with instrumentation.¡± ¡°Fancy words, Greg. Is our vixen being a positive influence on you?¡± It was funny how he stammered briefly as a sly smile crossed her face, and she leaned in. ¡°Don''t think I haven''t noticed.¡± ¡°W-we are just¡­business partners. I prefer to keep it that way.¡± ¡°Now that sounded like a lie. Oooh, that''s gonna cost ya, Greg!¡± He narrowed his eyes at her, looking sweaty and more flustered than he should from a short run. ¡°I mean, she''s super cute. I love that playful growl of hers when she''s annoyed. And I think you like it when she does her little witchery tricks.¡± ¡°Oh? Which ones?¡± ¡°When she uses her hat to pester you when you aren''t looking. It does do hat tricks indeed!¡± She also pointed at a few hairs of bright red fur on his shoulder. ¡°Aaaand, someone was a little close to ya today!¡± ¡°Coincidence. It¡¯s from my calico cat.¡± ¡°Uh-huh. Funny, how I didn¡¯t see a cat at your apartment.¡± ¡°She goes as she pleases. Her name is Minks.¡± She couldn¡¯t tell if that was a lie or not, but it sure smelled like Bonnie. He pulled out his arcanist pad, and started scribbling. ¡°Noting the time, location, environmental conditions¨C¡± ¡°Bahaha, you even smell like her! Smells like vanilla, hint of lilac. Aaaad, she has perfumes that match that!¡± She laughed and pointed at him. ¡°We are in close proximity during the day.¡± ¡°Oh no. Bet its close proximity during the evening.¡± Greg¡¯s lip twitched at this, and he glanced down at his arcane pad. ¡°Subject is elven female, characteristics typical of her species, high degree of athletics, some magic abilities, unusual acquisition of mark, class identity is unique¨C¡± Greg had to stop as she leaned in, wearing a lecherous smile. ¡°You''re changing the subject. Bonnie gets cozy with you so quick when we''re out. If you guys aren''t getting cozy at home, I¡¯d be genuinely surprised. A little tip, cologne irritates her. You won¡¯t need it. Also, she loves to go to the theater. We went once, it was like a Cepalunean rendition of Macbeth. Except less witches. And a lot less of a tragic end for everyone. And no madness-stricken queen with a sleepwalking problem. Anyway, she would be swept off her feet if a certain someone were inclined to get two tickets.¡± Greg blinked. ¡°You know, you haven¡¯t mentioned much of Earth culture. I have heard snippets here and there, and I think some of it has filtered into ours. Though, I¡¯ve also read that the summons kind of¡­well¡­aren¡¯t always stable.¡± ¡°Yeah, Greg. Maybe that¡¯s because we get yanked from everything we know,¡± Fiona huffed, hands on her hips. ¡°You¡¯re also slyly trying to change the subject again.¡± He stopped scribbling and put the arcanist pad away. ¡°If we were a couple? It carries risks.¡± ¡°Okay, keep deflecting¨C¡± ¡°Fine, then!¡± he let out a frustrated exhale before pinching the bridge of his nose. ¡°We¡¯ve¡­been hanging out. At her apartment, occasionally.¡± Her eyes dazzled in delight. ¡°I knew it! I saw it on the way to work, you guys are a thing! Spill it, Greg, is she a good kisser? Does she cuddle up? Does she make that weird purring sound when she¡¯s happy¨C¡± He put up his hand to interrupt her, looking utterly exasperated, and bit his lip. ¡°Is there a moment in your life where you aren¡¯t stirring up drama?¡± ¡°Me? Nah! This is fun! I knew it when she kept doing that compulsive extra brushing, and sitting next to you looking all anxious.¡± She folded her arms, looking smug. ¡°So you are capable of emotion. You¡¯re a tough nut to crack, Greg.¡± ¡°How about we talk about this after you teleport back?¡± He pulled out his arcanist pad. ¡°Pinky promise. Or something that you¡¯ve said a time or two before.¡± He pulled out his relay, and tapped in something. ¡°Bonnie, we¡¯re ready. We¡¯re about a half kilometer from the shop. Beginning our test.¡± You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story. ¡°Standing by! Tell Fi not to split herself in two when she does that! We can¡¯t stitch people together in that way if there¡¯s an oopsie!¡± Greg¡¯s eyes twitched at Bonnie''s teasing remark. She hoped it was a teasing remark. She took a deep breath, delighted her best friend was seeing someone decent! Greg could be a square at times, but he also could feel deeply when he chose to. She rolled up her sleeve to see Wingding, fluttering and acting like she was jabbing some invisible foe with her wingtips. ¡°Alright dear, we need to go for a spin! Let¡¯s make it happen!¡± Wingding did a small loop in the air on her skin, then saluted her with one wing. Fiona took a deep breath, trying to think of that giant X she¡¯d taped on the ground, in the store. Her one safe place, that no one was going to take from her again. There was a blast of air, a surge of light, and by the time she opened her eyes, she was back in the store, the arcane lights dimmed slightly before they winked back to full strength. The hardwood floor bore a slight scorch mark around her, and Bonnie was¨Cfrazzled, and staring at her with goggles, and a few other devices whirring, recording the event. ¡°Whoa. that¡¯s interesting. It pushed a few papers out of the circle!¡± Bonnie grinned madly and gave Fiona a hug of joy. ¡°It works!¡± ¡°I knew it would! I don¡¯t feel dizzy like last time¨Cmaybe it just takes a little getting used to.¡± She also booped Bonnie on the nose. ¡°By the way, I know.¡± ¡°Know¡­what?¡± ¡°Oh, you know.¡± Bonnie gritted her teeth. ¡°You got Greg to talk. Damn it, girl, I was trying so hard to be subtle!¡± Bonnie gripped her hat, and let out a groan. ¡°Now, I¡¯m gonna reset this thing to watch, and tell Greg when he gets back, that he¡¯s so dead.¡± ¡°Hey, he held out, and I figured it out by myself!¡± She couldn¡¯t stop the leering grin emerge from her face, and Bonnie growled playfully. ¡°You two are so cute together, by the way.¡± ¡°I¡¯m a grown woman, not ¡®cute¡¯, by the way! Plus, I think you have a thing for me.¡± ¡°Bonnie, I love people with strong personalities.¡± Fiona figured she shouldn''t keep Greg waiting. ¡°But, I can tell you¡¯ve had a thing for Greg for a while. He is dependable, and a lot more down-to-Cepalune than me.¡± Bonnie examined a cylindrical device and placed it back into a mount where it pointed at Fiona, already rubbing her hands together in anticipation. ¡°Now, Fiona, when you teleport back, I want to see if you come to the exact same spot. Greg, did you get that?¡± ¡°Yes, I did. Still on the call. Listening awkwardly,¡± he added dryly. Bonnie¡¯s ears went on edge, and she cleared her throat. ¡°Yeah. I guess this fox is out of the bag. As they say.¡± ¡°Remind me to dunk this elf in the lake, if I can ever catch her.¡± Fiona laughed at the utterly toothless threat, and pictured the spot where she¡¯d just been. She could not only feel the spot like there was a magnetic pull on her being, but she could almost see the spot. She could see a faint echo of the street. Of Greg, standing there calmly, with his arcanist pad in hand. But there was a fog beyond several meters¨Clike she couldn¡¯t envision beyond that. She closed her eyes. ¡°Bonnie this is some extra-sensory remote viewing. I can see the spot where I was, sort of. Like someone using a sonogram. It¡¯s a little disorienting!¡± She stopped focusing on the remote spot, but she could see a hint of the location in her mind. "Wow. It''s like I have an arcane lens on demand at that spot." ¡°Ooh, that¡¯s interesting. On three, Greg!¡± Bonnie called out and gave Fiona a finger count. At three, she blinked, and was back on the street, with Greg scribbling notes. ¡°You reappeared at the same spot. Impressive! Bonnie, she¡¯s back, at the egress point. I could see an echo, a shimmer in the air, but it faded over time. What does that mean?¡± ¡°I think she creates a temporary connection point to where she departed. Next time we try this, we should see if it lasts indefinitely, or if there¡¯s a time limit!¡± Bonnie sounded excited. ¡°Next time, try further out!¡± Several minutes later, Fiona ascertained a few important things. Distance didn¡¯t seem to be any obstacle, and resulted in the same slight feeling of fatigue, no more of a tax than running at full sprint for a minute. She also learned that she could shift position from the original spot in the shop, and snap back to the egress point without fail. Greg quickly took notes as they toured through the now-darkened sky, scaring a few passersby. ¡°This is official mage guild business, this is all part of a controlled and very safe test!¡± he called out, and a few elderly otterkin shrugged and said something about reckless youth. She wasn¡¯t reckless! Or youthful. Then again compared to the rest of the elves she¡¯d seen in town¡­she did register as pretty young. After a few more tries to teleport back and forth rapidly, there seemed to be some physical block¨Cand a bit of a radiating pain that grew more and more through her nerves, the quicker in succession she did the round trip. After the third time, she waved to Greg, panting. ¡°Okay. There¡¯s a limiter. I shouldn¡¯t do that in rapid succession.¡± A quick scribble from him, and she was resting her hands on her knees, trying to catch her breath, feeling that fiery pain in her nerves fading. ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure that¡¯s telling me there is a safe limit to it.¡± ¡°Indeed. Distance doesn¡¯t seem to impact the result. Nor does shifting position. But the echo gets weaker, the longer you¡¯re away. I think there is indeed, a time limit to teleport back...or you¡¯ll be walking back.¡± He pointed to the ground, where there was a knocked-over construction marker he¡¯d borrowed. ¡°You also ¡®push¡¯ things away when you re-emerge. So, teleporting into something seems a remote possibility.¡± ¡°Magical science, baby! Now, we should probably head back, and go out with Bonnie to McFly''s. You game?¡± He smiled faintly. ¡°I could go for a bowl of noodles, right about now. It¡¯s Bonnie''s new favorite, too. But¡­let¡¯s not talk about work or scheming kings. Let¡¯s keep it casual.¡± ¡°Hah. You''re capable of casual? Man, that¡¯s a more cosmic-level event than me showing up.¡± Vol. 2, Ch. 64: Honey, I Shrunk The Dragon! (Part One) ¡°You and Greg are cute.¡± Bonnie stopped briefly to glare at Fiona, through a protective pair of goggles. ¡°Stop distracting me, you elven fiend. The Kitsune runesmith is busy at work. Now, pay attention, yeah?¡± ¡°All eyes, dear.¡± There was one thing that Fiona was starting to enjoy: authentic craftsmanship, in her emporium. Today¡¯s exercise: rune crafting with Bonnie, who was working a custom job for someone. She quickly pulled an item out of an oven that she used to heat the gel, used to pour the molds for the runes. She grabbed the mold with a pair of heavy tongs, before bringing it to a stone workbench. She pressed the negative for the rune shape on the adjacent mold on top very carefully, then sealed and locked the small mold, to keep it from distorting while it set. ¡°You make it look easy,¡± Fiona breathed. ¡°I¡¯ve been doing this for a while. Runes on metal are tougher, and certain other materials present unique challenges. Threading and embroidery are a bit of an art, more than an actual science. There are classed seamstresses who are experts on this kind of thing; they can charge a pretty copper for their service!¡± Bonnie finally pulled off the oversized heat mask, with the fur on her face and head a little matted, and she shook her ears vigorously. ¡°Sheesh. No ergonomics at all for us furred folks,¡± she grumbled. ¡°I thought you were fire-resistant,¡± Fiona pointed out. ¡°Not at these temperatures, unless you¡¯re a dragon,¡± Bonnie stated calmly. She pulled out her wand and put an icy crystal on the tip, and the entire device instantly coated in a layer of rime frost. Her gloved hands protected against the instant chill, and she slowly cooled the mold, using seemingly random motions to blast the crucible at varying angles. ¡°How are you doing that?¡± ¡°With my runecraft, I can get a feel for the shape of the rune. A flawless rune? It can go for platinum coins. The skill required to go from one noted grade to the next is exponential.¡± Bonnie licked her muzzle gently while using the frost to cool the item, occasionally venting the vapors away, using the hood above the station. ¡°It gets easier with practice. Same with your monster slaying, you know?¡± ¡°I wonder if I could do that with my gold telekinesis. You saw it, I could melt the metal down at room temperature, and my Bahn Hammer now has a gold plating on it. And strangely, it won¡¯t come off.¡± ¡°Hang on. Since we¡¯ve got time to cool this thing and set it properly¡­can I see the hammer? I don¡¯t think I¡¯ve examined it since the tournament.¡± Bonnie glanced up, eying the compact weapon with curiosity. ¡°Sure.¡± She pulled the haft of her hammer, brought the weapon into existence, and set it down on a bench. Bonnie pulled out a jeweler''s lens and examined the hammer. ¡°It also feels lighter.¡± ¡°You¡¯re just buff, girl. Where do you hide that muscle?¡± ¡°Are you jealous, Bon-bon?¡± she asked with a grin, and she growled playfully in response. ¡°I¡¯ll still run circles around you, long legs. I¡¯ll make you a lean, mean, Fiona machine yet! And work off all those sweets,¡± Bonnie laughed while examining the weapon head with low murmurings. ¡°Fiona, can you show me your magic?¡± ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°I want to see you melt a coin down,¡± Bonnie explained. Fiona fished a single Cepalune Standard Gold out of her pocket. ¡°I mean, it¡¯s magic of some kind, isn¡¯t it? It¡¯s almost like a metallomancer, but for gold. It was unique, when I witnessed it. And this is on top of your ability to acquire a magical shield, a teleport, and a blinding flash.¡± ¡°Hang on. I was in a hurry on this one last time.¡± She focused her gaze on the small coin and felt it heat in her hands¨Clike the warming touch of a cozy campfire. The gold brightened slightly, and the small features of the dragon head dissolved¨Cand the coin dissolved into a single tense blob in her hand! But, even stranger, was a small, grey disc in the middle that was untouched. That hadn¡¯t happened before. Bonnie peered at this spectacle with amazement and gently poked one claw at the liquid gold. It resisted her touch for a second, and her claw broke the tension surface. ¡°Fascinating. It¡¯s liquid at room temperature. This is extraordinary. But, this disk is steel. It''s a solid core for the gold to give it some rigidity. Gold¡¯s pretty malleable, so¡­¡± ¡°How do they make coins?¡± she asked. Bonnie shook her head. ¡°The Unified Kingdoms keep it pretty well under lockdown, and I think it¡¯s to prevent counterfeiting. It¡¯s also why you can¡¯t just melt down gold bars. I think the intent is to make sure people aren¡¯t swindled. Gold is power around here.¡± ¡°Literally, in my case.¡± Bonnie prodded the gold blob gently, retracted her hand, and jotted something down. ¡°Want me to add it to the layer?¡± ¡°Sure thing.¡± Fiona smeared the gold against the hammerhead, and it flowed to make a smooth, even layer before seemingly hardening instantly Bonnie poked at the new layer with a pick and frowned. ¡°It¡¯s even harder than it was before. Hang on. Gold should be soft. But this isn¡¯t. It¡¯s as strong as mage steel. Mind if I test something? I can take a few hardness samples for my runes¨Cyou need to for some enchantments, they can be stressful on the material.¡± Fiona nodded. ¡°Sure thing! This item has seen a lot of service¨C¡± She paused as she looked at Greg making a demonstration on one of the pieces. It was a new feature to make the days more interesting. Mostly to add a little flash and glamor to showing the items, when they demonstrated a few safe samples to show their potential. Greg seemed to have a keen handle on all the items. That nagging feeling was coming back, like he¡¯d chilled as an adventurer, to get away from his criminal father, and put as much distance between them as possible. It was one explanation, at any rate. He was demonstrating a scepter that she¡¯d seen Douglas waving around¨Cnot the super evil one, just one of the regular ones he¡¯d used to try and make his lair a skating rink, and then blasted it with fire to make a steam cloud. That had been particularly dangerous.This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings. She kept getting this weird feeling and glanced at the totem she¡¯d gotten at the fair, where she kept it at the counter in the back. Almost like it was attracting her eyes magnetically. Just why was she keeping an eye out for strange kobolds? Would I date one? I mean, I could, they¡¯re adorable when they¡¯re not trying to turn your face into a knife rack. She glanced back to Greg, showing the scepter on a prepared spot near the back, with mage steel reinforcement and stone flooring in place to prevent messes. She glanced toward the entry as a group of onlookers walked in to tune into the demonstration. Darla handed out free coffees and got generous tips from the passersby, and she gave them a hearty wave. She smelled elf berry notes¨Cher favorite¨Calong with hints of hazelnut. But something else was there. Something mossy, earthy almost. Like¡­something that reminded her of a swamp. That is a rather weird scent, she thought. Bonnie picked up on it her creased expression and frowned. ¡°What, you smell that too?¡± Bonnie asked her. Fiona nodded while wrinkling her nose. ¡°Smells like rotting vegetation, something from a bog. Don¡¯t you have a good sense of smell?¡± Bonnie glanced at her skeptically. ¡°I better, Fiona. I¡¯m a kitsune. It¡¯s like an extra special sense for us, and super helpful for potion-making. Getting hit in the muzzle hurts,¡± she added, and tested the air. ¡°Has anyone taken a swim in the swamp lately? Sheesh. New shop rule, shower before you arrive, please.¡± Fiona took note of the arrivals. Folks of all sorts were gathered¨Csome humans, a few elves and dwarves, and a family of wolven with extra fluffy kids were bouncing for joy. Moreso, after Greg sprayed ice particles into the air like a snow machine. That''s when she spotted what was off. A cloaked figure, no more than four feet tall, in a dark cowl and dark clothes, was standing there, wearing gauntlets. She couldn¡¯t tell what species they were until they turned. She saw a hint of red scales on their face and golden eyes that scanned the room warily¨Cbut not looking at her. A kobold? Maybe he''s a refugee from the skirmish with Douglas? She pondered on that; tensions were a little high, but kobolds had also made residence in the city before all this and vehemently defended against their swampy kin. Fiona walked over to the little totem and peered at it closely, eyes narrowed. Then she looked back at the newcomer, still watching the display with a tightly pressed snout, and their fingers curled. He stood there silently and adjusted a pair of glasses by the bridge of his snout. Fiona froze. She glanced at the totem again, then at the kobold. Calculus started playing in her head, and then she remembered something. Didn¡¯t Douglas wear a pair of glasses just like that, before she¡¯d started venting some frustration on him? It can¡¯t be. There¡¯s no way! But it could. This was Cepalune. Anything was possible. Her eyes widened at the implication and finally came to a tumultuous, train wreck inside her brain. She walked over to the visitor, her footsteps sounding like a march of doom. You better not be who I think you are. Because, if you are, I¡¯m making you into boots. Greg knew something was up when he peered at her out of curiosity, and she snagged her grappling hook from her bench. She always had it ready to grab snacks and thieves. ¡°Ah, yes, this device is quite serviceable as an offensive weapon, or for keeping your party cool during the heat of summer. It¡¯s versatile, light¡­¡± Greg was giving an expert sales pitch while Fiona strolled over to the cowled figure, the rest of the crowd ignored her, and she took a standing position beside him, pretending to listen to the demonstration She cleared her throat to get the male kobold¡¯s attention. He glanced at her, a scowl on his face. He must have recognized her because his eyes widened slightly a second later. ¡°Hi, you must be, miss¡­Swiftheart, right?¡± he asked with a chatter of sharp but pointy teeth. ¡°I love the demonstration.¡± ¡°I know, it¡¯s fun, isn¡¯t it?¡± she asked, fighting the urge to do something dramatic. ¡°I mean I knew this particular item well. Douglas the Red was trying to use it with his fire to steam blast me to death.¡± ¡°Sounds ineffective,¡± he grunted while trying to keep his eyes on the demonstration. ¡°Sounds like that dragon didn¡¯t know how to fight. As if an elf smashed into his home and wrecked it, and he had to improvise.¡± ¡°Quite right, he did! So, whatcha think of the store?¡± she pressed, and he glanced at her, annoyed. ¡°It¡¯s¡­an attractor for a certain clientele. I¡¯m just visiting through town. I heard that you opened up the place, and I wanted to see what kinds of items you sell, and it¡­looks like it¡¯s well thought out,¡± he conceded. ¡°We have items of all kinds! Today is our Fiersday demonstration. The kids love it, and always when we demonstrate anything with fire. They love pyrotechnic demonstrations a little too much!¡± She replied, confident that this guy couldn¡¯t be the guy. It must be a coincidence. Except she could smell the peat bog scent off of him like it was baked into his clothes. ¡°Say, you said you¡¯re a traveler. Where from?¡± ¡°Bar¡¯dathi Plains, down south. My tribe asked me to make an errand run,¡± he answered, sounding distinctly disinterested. ¡°Really?¡± she leaned in and nudged him. ¡°Funny. Did you pass through any swamps on the way? Say, the Renslas Fens?¡± He froze, if only for a split second. ¡°It¡¯s¡­sort of on the way. I had to detour.¡± ¡°Smells like you took a swim in it,¡± she observed. He turned to glare at her. ¡°Do you always talk this much?¡± he asked, his snout pressed tight and his eyes narrowed. They were brighter than Darla¡¯s eyes, with a reptilian slit, but still possessed that dash of cunning of the rest of the sentient Folk. ¡°Only to people I¡¯m familiar with. And you look familiar.¡± He huffed at that. ¡°Not all kobolds look the same, with all due respect.¡± ¡°Nah. See, I knew a guy! He had these cute little horns like yours!¡± She tapped one for emphasis, and he suddenly got very anxious. ¡°And he also had this cute little snout, like yours!¡± ¡°I heard you were a flirt, but sheesh, someone was grossly underselling it.¡± That anxious smile of his, and the look of fear in her eyes, told her one interesting thing. ¡°And ya know what else that guy had in common? Well, there were two things, but the glasses were cute! I always wondered why dragons needed glasses¨CI guess anyone could use an optometrist! Know anyone like that?¡± she asked with an evil smile. She spotted Bonnie out of the corner of her eye, wide-eyed and bottlebrush-tailed, and was shaking her head, like she¡¯d made the connection. ¡°I, uh¡­well, I need them for reading,¡± the kobold stammered. ¡°Or, to take a closer look at all your treasure on display for the masses,¡± she whispered and leaned down to his level, and he huffed indignantly, teeth on edge. ¡°Treasure that you stole from¨C¡± Everyone stopped talking to look at the Kobold trying to stand up on his clawtips to leer at Fiona. But the sudden motion rattled something loose from his pocket¨Ca small magical ring dropped out of his cloak, and rattled to the ground with a metallic whirring sound, before coming to a halt. He realized the massive error he¡¯d made, and his irises had constricted to tiny slits. ¡°I mean, um, it¡¯s my, uh¨Cmy desire to buy all this treasure¨C¡± Fiona put out a hand, and her massive Bahn hammer flew through the space to her outstretched hand and landed in her palm with the softest of tucks, and she grinned evilly at this would-be troublemaker. ¡°Did you read the sign as you came in?¡± She said with all the tenderness of a shark about to go in for the kill. ¡°No shirt, no shoes, no service?¡± he asked meekly. ¡°No, the other rule.¡± ¡°Payment in gold coins only?¡± ¡°No, keep going.¡± ¡°Uh¡­no greedy dragons allowed?¡± his eyes went wide as he read the last line on the board behind her. ¡°Close, but not quite. No dragons with pretentious names.¡± She wound back her hammer while motioning everyone away, and wore a murderous smile. ¡°Oh, no.¡± He realized he was about to get a dose of serious karma. ¡°Oh, yes. Hi, Doug! I¡¯m gonna make you into a pair of boots, now!¡± Vol. 2, Ch. 65: Honey, I Shrunk The Dragon! (Part Two!) ¡°So, as I said before, I think we should buy that little commercial space on Emerald Lane!¡± A black feathered avian declared to her badger business partner. He let out a deflated sigh, like he had the first couple of times she''d proposed this. ¡°Oh, bother. I told you, that shop isn¡¯t worth the investment. Do you know what it¡¯ll take to get a license to open a restaurant? It¡¯ll cost a fortune! I mean, do you think we can make headway with a classy noodle shop?¡± he protested as he clinked his claws together. The female raven lady smoothed her feathers and let out a caw of excitement. ¡°Nope! It¡¯s already zoned commercial and already has all the setup we could need! All I need for you is to talk to your guy, the repair shop guy, and add a few small fixes, and a few tweaks of wiring, and then we¡¯ll be all set! We could be running the hottest noodle shop in a month!¡± she proposed with a confident smile and bright blue eyes. ¡°C¡¯mon, the lease is dirt cheap!¡± ¡°Well, I suppose I can talk to my handyman. He is licensed for such repairs,¡± the badger replied, who was now entertaining this idea with keen interest. Neither of them was paying particular attention to the commotion coming up the street, and she heard what sounded like a high-pitched shrill. Almost like someone was being pursued by a massive, murderous predator. He turned to the sound as it grew louder, and more urgent. It didn¡¯t really register until a bright, red-scaled kobold with short, stubby wings bounded over their meal, miraculously leaving the food untouched. He let a shrill scream of panic out. "Someone call the watch, there''s a madwoman with a hammer!" ¡°Uh¡­what was that?¡± the badger asked, staring at his untouched soup bowl. His female friend shrugged. ¡°Something utterly demonic, what was¨C¡± ¡°Come back here Doug, and take the beating you deserve!¡± They were even more amazed to see a green-eyed, candy corn-haired elven shopkeeper bounding over tables, carrying a massive, golden hammer in her hands. She was moving at a breakneck pace past the rows of diners on the street side eateries, and disrupting everyone. She even took a glance at the noodle bowl in front of the badger, while leaping in mid-air, and smiling while mid-flight ¡°Smells delicious, Osabas?¡± ¡°Yep¨C¡± But she was already gone, and pursuing after the bright red kobold, airing apparent grievances about taxes, theft, and winter fashions. The badger stared at his companion. ¡°Only in Fiefdala. You know what, let''s go for it! Let¡¯s open our classy noodle shop right away!¡± he declared triumphantly, and the raven lady smiled. "Just be on the lookout for shady guys in dark robes, muttering about cultivating some big magical food energy."
¡°C¡¯mere you scaly plushie, I need a pair of boots for the winter line-up, and my pockets are empty!¡± Fiona screamed out. She was relentless as she pursued her adversary through the bustling commercial sector of Fiefdala. Doug was dodging through markets and bustling people of all varieties. She didn¡¯t know how he had become so adorkably small, but she knew one thing: He was the cause of all her current problems, and she was planning on venting her anger on him. Distantly, she could hear Bonnie screaming that she was making herself out to be an utter madwoman and that she needed to cut out this nonsense. She absolutely would, once she was done turning this rude dragon into a plushie doll on her shelf. He slid through the scaffolding of a building currently under construction, with a skeleton of wood and steel beams holding it up. She leaped upwards and onto the platform in a dash of elven dexterity, temporarily holstering her weapon so she could climb in record time, past surprised workers in construction vests and hard hats. Safety first was ingrained in Cepalune, one thing she could stand by. Up ahead, Douglas, the not-so-dragonish was still screeching, wailing, and crying. ¡°You owe me for ruining my life, you crazy elf chick! You stole my stuff, and beat me to paste in my own house for someone else''s actions!¡± ¡°I owe money for this of stuff yours, you stupid dragon!¡± she growled as she spun through a web of construction scaffolding. She never lost sight of the kobold trying to use his stubby wings to fly, and failing miserably. He leaped from the scaffold, all the way to the still-in-progress rooftop, where his clawed feet disrupted and sent loose tiles skidding down the slope. The workers yelled and called him out¨Cas well as her, with a few catcalls. ¡°Hey, that¡¯s the hero of Fiefdala!¡± one called out. ¡°How do you know it¡¯s her?¡± another one shouted out; all of it was audible to her sensitive ears. ¡°Name one other candy-corn-colored elf chick with a giant hammer, running through town, chasing a miniaturized dragon!¡± the man declared proudly. ¡°Go get him, Fi!¡± ¡°Why does everyone hate me?!¡± Douglas wailed in front of her, between gasping breaths. ¡°I¡¯m the victim here, and you¡¯re crazy!¡± ¡°I¡¯m not crazy! I have issues! Issues that stem from thieving dragons!¡± she snarled. She still wasn''t close enough to use her grappling hook, and hoisted herself up and over a pile of mechanical equipment set up on one roof, and keeping up with the tiny dragon. ¡°Stand still and get the walloping you deserve!¡± ¡°The King stole my land! My brother screwed me! And they sent you!¡± he screamed, stumbling over some exposed piping that hissed with energy as she bolted by. She glanced over her shoulder to see Bonnie bounding up, keeping pace with her. ¡°Fi, let this guy go! He¡¯s not our dragon!¡± ¡°Yes, he is! I can smell the swamp on every scale on his body, it¡¯s him!¡± she heaved out, even as she vaulted over another piping cluster. Ahead of her, a chimney set blocked most of the roof. ¡°I¡¯m gonna make you into boots, you overgrown plushie!¡± ¡°What did I do to deserve this?!¡± he skidded down a portion of roofing to a connecting roof, scrabbling claws knocking loose more roof slates, and slowing down. So was she, but she had one advantage that he didn¡¯t. He was finally in range of her grappling hook. He bounded up on the trusswork of a building under renovation, and she whipped up the device, aimed carefully, and fired. The grappling claw wrapped around his leg, and he screamed, scraping and clawing to try to get to safety. ¡°You¡¯re insane, you candy-colored elf!¡± ¡°I have a name, Doug! It¡¯s Fiona Maridia Swiftheart, use it!¡± she screamed as she heaved with all her might, trying to get the Kobold to come loose, but he was clinging onto a pipe for dear life, eyes frantically focused on her. ¡°I don¡¯t wanna become boots! I want my stuff, and my land, and to clear my name!¡± ¡°Clear your what?!¡± Fiona had been straining with all her might to get this kobold dislodged, so she missed the creaking motion on the platform below her. Bonnie caught up with her, screaming out a warning. ¡°Fi, the scaffolding!¡± The scaffolding and the piping that Doug had been holding onto for dear life pried loose of the brickwork, shattering the mortar, the piping bending from the force and dislodging Doug. The now free-falling lizard fell into her, and she felt a whoomph as the impact winded her. The extra weight broke the scaffolding framework, and Fiona felt herself plunging to the ground, smashing through a collapsing domino of platforms that rained down onto the cobblestone below.Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author''s preferred platform and support their work! ¡°Stay close!¡± Bonnie screamed out, somehow managed to get her hat off and activate it with a dazzling display of yellow light. The hat expanded to a monumental size, and Fiona cradled the uncooperative kobold against her, while Bonnie brought the hat down over their bodies¨C The world went black, and it felt like she landed in a cushiony pillow, while screeching metal trusswork and wooden boards collapsed. Distantly, she heard shouts of surprise from passersby; her unexpected body cushion went very still, peering around them in the dim light. ¡°Uh¡­did we die?¡± he asked nervously. ¡°I died once. Pretty sure that wasn¡¯t dying,¡± Fiona stated anxiously and noted Bonnie with a bead of sweat dripping off her fur, concentrating on her stance with golden light dancing from her hands, to the roughly conical shape surrounding them. ¡°Are we in your hat, Bonnie?¡± ¡°Hat tricks! Told ya!¡± she managed to eke out with a gritty smile. ¡°Anyone hurt?¡± ¡°No.¡± Douglas peered up from where Fiona had been pressing him up against her body¨Cin a very awkward location, and he smiled as he looked up from the forbidden valley. ¡°Oh, if I was going to die today, it would be¨C¡± *crack* The first thing she did was knee the miniature dragon in an unsportsmanlike manner, then toss him off of her. She rose, leering at him and growling. ¡°Perv,¡± she shouted out accusingly. ¡°To be fair Fi, you were holding him like a body pillow.¡± Fiona glared at her foxy friend. ¡°To ensure he didn¡¯t run away!¡± ¡°Why¡­must you deprive¡­all of my jewels,¡± Doug wheezed, doubling over in pain and lying prone on his side, unable to stand, and making small dragon crying noises. Fiona helped Bonnie up, and noted the ruined scaffolding; miraculously, nothing else was damaged. They both dusted each other off and then glanced at their escapee. ¡°This is Douglas the Red?¡± Bonnie asked, looking skeptical. Fiona nodded and pointed to him. ¡°Yep. He tried to steal my stuff. No one shoplifts on me!¡± ¡°Too in pain to rebuke, thief,¡± Douglas groaned, clutching where Fiona had kneed him and tried to prop himself up with one claw¨Cand one wing. Bonnie gave her massive hat a shake with her paw, and the debris instantly clattered to the ground, while the hat shrunk like a giant fabric accordion. She gave the hat a quick dusting, before placing it back on her head. Once free of distractions, she let out a menacing growl at Doug. ¡°So, you¡¯re the scaly jackass who gave Greybeard so much trouble? I¡¯d thought you¡¯d be taller, and less bite-sized,¡± she added with a quick chomp of her teeth for intimidation. ¡°Fi, you¡¯re telling me this was the guy you fought? You¡¯re Douglas the Red?¡± ¡°Douglas Ferdinand Fierkraag, thank you.¡± He winced as he slowly rose, but Fiona put her boot on his back to keep him from getting up. ¡°Oh, what is your major malfunction, woman? You already beat me up and stole my stuff, what more do you want?¡± ¡°You shoplifted,¡± she hissed. ¡°Which means, I get to have my way with you, with my hammer. Also, I¡¯m down a reward, and incurred an insurmountable debt because of your treasure hoard. That means double hammers.¡± ¡°Gods, you¡¯re inhuman, and I was reclaiming my property.¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s mine, you agreed!¡± She countered and looked at a rip on her shirt. She was not happy about that one. ¡°I¡¯ve got half a mind to turn you into the town guard¨C¡± ¡°All hostilities have ceased, Fiona. He¡¯s got nothing left, and his kobolds aren¡¯t here. He¡¯s on his own.¡± Strangely, Bonnie had softened her stance and knelt. ¡°What happened to you, exactly?¡± ¡°Oh, now you want to know?¡± he snarled. ¡°My twin brother screwed me! He¡¯s the one that caused that whole kerfuffle over the past six months! I had to take the fall for his ambition when he started his scheme of stealing land! Then I got stuck holding the bag!¡± ¡°A twin brother? Come on, Doug, we weren¡¯t born yesterday!¡± Fiona snorted. ¡°Um¡­actually¡­¡± Fiona glared at Bonnie, who was holding out one clawed finger. ¡°He does have a twin.¡± ¡°Bonnie, tell me you¡¯re not buying this crap. Doug will do anything to avoid responsibility for his actions!¡± He let out a strangled groan in response. ¡°A lot of people got hurt, Doug, because of you! Also, why are you so small now?¡± ¡°Yeah, it wasn¡¯t bad enough that you wrecked my house, and me! Then the witch working with my brother cursed me!¡± he shrilled, and gestured toward himself. Indeed, he did look miserable¨Chis clothing was stained, he had bruises on his scales that had likely been there before they¡¯d had three stories of scaffolding come down on them, and he looked run down. ¡°I have never felt smaller or more alone in my life! All my scaled kin ditched me because I wasn¡¯t the biggest and strongest! I guess being the smartest doesn¡¯t count for much. I make a terrible kobold!¡± he wailed. ¡°So, what about that dragon scepter? Is that how you got big and scary before?¡± Fiona demanded. ¡°No, I was a dragon, thank you very much,¡± he huffed, looking sullen. ¡°And now I¡¯m not! My life is ruined, because of you, you crazy elf chick!¡± ¡°The feeling is mutual,¡± Fiona stated with a deadly edge to her tone. ¡°Now hold still, I think I can use you as an oversized golf ball. I might have enough of a swing to land you in the lake, because you know, shoplifting.¡± Hearing this, Doug broke down into tears and wailed. ¡°I just wanted to get the cavern my mom set aside from me before she passed! I¡¯ll never get it baaaack!¡± he cried, little steamy tears welling from his eyes. If there was anything that could get Fiona out of her vengeful mood, it was this. Even her utter disgust at this creature melted away. She groaned loudly and ran her fingers through her hair. ¡°Fates, why are you so pathetic?! I cannot have any fun with this, with you crying so hard!¡± ¡°Fi, real talk? He might have had a claim to some of those items. I don¡¯t think we should have stripped him of everything,¡± Bonnie suggested and pulled her away from the crying kobold for a minute. ¡°I mean, look at this guy! You¡¯re telling me that this guy was the one who was forcing people out of their homes?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t start that! The witch was the one who was doing that, I was just running logistics and getting the kobolds trained and pointed in the right direction. I thought we were gonna just earn enough money to buy the land outright, then the gold went missing! After that, I had to try to fix things, and then Karlin¨Cmy brother¨Cand the witch messed things up! So when things didn¡¯t go her way, she got off, no strings attached, and she cursed me on her way back to whatever murky lair she has in the swamps!¡± he said, still sniffling and sobbing quietly. ¡°And my brother is busy scheming somewhere else!¡± ¡°Doug, no idiot would ever buy ¡®my evil twin did it¡¯!¡± Fiona pointed out. ¡°Why are you even trying? People lost their lives because of this conflict. You aren¡¯t getting any sympathy from me." She wanted to lay into him more, but there was a perplexing question, and she frowned. ¡°Also, why have I heard nothing about a witch? Not a single one of the captured soldiers even mentioned a witch!¡± ¡°She was very shrewd! Always working through agents, I met her maybe twice! She smelled like perfume and flora, unlike the swamp she claimed to be from! Strangely, I didn¡¯t know witches came in blonde flavors,¡± he added with a hiccup in a sob. ¡°So, let me get this straight. You had a land deal in the works, the money went missing, the courts held it up in legal limbo, and then your brother came along to add kindling to the fire?¡± Fiona asked, eyes narrowed. ¡°I don¡¯t believe a word you say!¡± ¡°I have proof! But no one even wanted to believe it! I have papers that say the land was my mother''s, and upon her passing, it was supposed to go to me. The witch said she could make the paperwork go faster so¡­I listened to her! But, I was tricked! She was never going to honor her deal, I think she took all the gold and ran after she stirred up the pot! I think she worked with my brother to make me a patsy.¡± ¡°And we¡¯re supposed to believe you?¡± Fiona asked, arms crossed and fingers tapping on her forearm impatiently. ¡°I wasn¡¯t reborn yesterday, thank you very much. Did this witch even have a name?¡± ¡°Her name was Dolsag. Dolsag of the fens. I know she had expensive perfume, like something from town. Something you could only get if you were rich, which I found odd. I also know she was blonde, and a voice like¨C¡± ¡°--Like poisoned honey?¡± Bonnie asked suddenly, ears alert. Douglas peered up and nodded softly. ¡°What else can you tell me about this witch?¡± ¡°Creamy white skin, unblemished. Either she took good care of herself in the fens, or she had access to city stuff. And her language skills were¡­almost infectious. She spoke to you, and you wanted to listen.¡± Bonnie narrowed her eyes, and put a hand to her muzzle, mouthing something silently. ¡°Fiona, we should take him with us.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry, we¡¯re bringing the demented mini dragon with us, why?¡± Fiona demanded as she leered at him. ¡°He doesn¡¯t deserve our sympathy! He made his bad choices, he should get to live with them!¡± ¡°Fiona? Have you ever considered certain events might be related?¡± Bonnie asked quietly. It took more than biting her lip to force herself to answer. ¡°Yeah. I have. More than once. But this Douglas is pathetic! Everyone in this city is gonna hate him! I hate him!¡± she added angrily. ¡°Barry taxed me for your stupid hoard, which I¡¯m still liquidating¨C¡± The crying started again, and Fiona felt an ear twitch. ¡°Alright, knock it off, I¡¯ve had my fill of watching dragons crying for this lifetime now, I¡¯m over it. I¡¯m not taking him to the shop. Ah hell, we still need to finish the day,¡± she added with a growl. ¡°Fine. He can hang out for a bit, and we¡¯ll talk to him in the shop. Where I will be keenly keeping all my magical binding runes out as a reminder that he isn¡¯t a dragon, and doesn¡¯t have magical resistance for days anymore,¡± she added with curling of her lip. ¡°And if that doesn¡¯t work, my hammer will. Guaranteed to work twice,¡± Fiona grinned, and snapped the weapon into view, briefly. Douglas gulped. ¡°Not much of a choice, is there? I¡¯m just another kobold, no one knows who I am anymore. And, maybe it should stay that way.¡± ¡°Wow. I guess you can teach a dragon humility,¡± Fiona breathed, and gave a slow clap, before Bonnie elbowed her. ¡°What, I¡¯m not allowed to throw some shade?¡± ¡°Within reason. I¡¯m curious about this witch no one is talking about, and why Douglas the tiny got the short end of every stick. It¡¯s not like you can¡¯t humiliate him again,¡± Bonnie suggested with a wink. ¡°Stop trying to appeal to my destructive nature. You¡¯re too good at it.¡± Vol. 2, Ch. 66: Douglas Fierkraag, The Tiny Greg tapped his hand patiently against his arcanist pad, and Fiona knew he was irritated. ¡°So, you decided to go chase a tiny kobold thief, and scared many of our customers¨C¡± ¡°They were not scared, they were cheering! Did you not hear the cheering? ¡®Yeah, go get him, Fiona!¡¯ I don¡¯t think you misheard that,¡± Darla interjected. The five of them, and Doug, were now sitting in the break room. Bonnie was taking no chances and had the kobold restrained with a pair of magical manacles, to keep him from running off again. He took this in resignation, while Fiona glared at him, ever so incensed that this guy had decided to show up and throw things awry, again. ¡°Doug, you had the dumbest plan ever. You were going to, what, steal all the items in the store? Like we weren¡¯t going to notice?¡± ¡°I had him flagged the second he walked to the display cases, with his body behavior,¡± Kali shrugged, arms folded and holding a relaxed stance. ¡°A teeny tiny hole was in the glass case. Clever, but not clever enough for me. Though, would it have triggered the wards when he walked out?" "Actually...no." Bonnie frowned as she gave it a thought. "I only added the ward to items above a certain value. It''s onerous to flag every item with enchantments for tracking. So, why this one, Douglas?" The red-scaled kobold let out a huff. ¡°That ring is my mother¡¯s. When you were cleaning me out at threat of violence, I was in fear for my life. You took everything, Miss Swiftheart, in every sense of the term.¡± He had all the ferocity of a plushie doll, and he stretched out his taloned legs while rubbing his wrists gently. ¡°Okay. Let me see if I have this straight. You claim you had a land deal. You talked to a shady witch who promised to clear the red tape. Your brother rolls in, and, while you¡¯re busy, he¡¯s giving orders like he owns the place to your kobolds, who then run rampant. Then, when you realize what he¡¯s up to, you try to stop him, but he locks you up¨Chonestly, how does one lock up a dragon?¡± Fiona scoffed, recounting the events. It was absurd on every level. ¡°Karlin bound me to my chambers magically. I had limited contact, and he told me if I told anyone, he¡¯d go destroy mom¡¯s lair, and not leave a single stone standing.¡± His entire face recoiled like he¡¯d swallowed the world¡¯s most bitter pill. ¡°That¡¯s dragon crap. We never saw any sign of your brother.¡± ¡°That¡¯s what he does! Every couple of decades, he rolls in and ruins my life! He may not be bigger, but he¡¯s stronger and meaner!¡± Doug protested. ¡°He¡¯s done this my entire life because he can get away with it, because it''s fun for him. The only person who knew he was rotten from the egg was my mother. And she¡¯s dead, thanks,¡± he added sourly. ¡°Hey, I didn¡¯t slay any other dragons in this life, pint-sized,¡± Fiona shot back. ¡°Let¡¯s keep this going. So, Karlin is working for the witch. She steals only the gold¨Cwhich does explain why we found a severe lack of gold in your hoard¨Cthen she takes off, poof. Then, Karlin realizes he¡¯s been done dirty, too, and quits the field, and then what?¡± ¡°He leaves me holding the mess, which was about a few days before you showed up,¡± he snapped. His teeth would have been intimidating if he wasn¡¯t so plushie-sized. ¡°And with everyone really, really upset at me, there was not any incentive by anyone to go on a fact-finding mission and speak to my cause.¡± ¡°But the dragons ditched you, too. C¡¯mon Doug, we¡¯re not dumb. You can¡¯t take responsibility for a land grab that went badly,¡± Darla accused, leering at him with a glare as intense as a dragon. ¡°Then, you¡¯re trying to shore up the defense of your place, and telling your kobolds to high tail it and run¨Cget it, high-tail it?¡± she added with a chuckle. ¡°Har, har.¡± Doug was in no mood for the continued roast and rolled his eyes. ¡°Yes, I told them to quit the field, which caused confusion, because I¨Cor rather, my brother¨Chad told them to fight to the last. Kobolds tend to get confused if their leadership does an about-face. Meanwhile, Miss Swiftheart steamrolls into my lair, steals my hard-earned historical collection, blows up my lair, and as if that wasn¡¯t insulting enough, yeeted me into the landscape!¡± His voice was almost shrill by the end of that statement, and Fiona folded over, laughing. ¡°Hahaha. You said ¡®yeeted¡¯ like it¡¯s an actual word. That¡¯s exactly what it was, Doug! I used you like a therapy punching bag!¡± ¡°Fiona, I think one round of utter humiliation is enough, thank you.¡± Greg pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed softly. ¡°Then we come to the end. You signed papers for the terms of your surrender, you got to stay in exile in the swamp, and then, the witch came back, to further add insult to injury. Why didn¡¯t she just kill you?¡± ¡°She bound me to a kobold, technically. There¡¯s an ancestral link to kobolds,¡± he explained. ¡°I think she just enjoyed humiliating me. Like I could prove she existed, anyway? There¡¯s no trace. I don¡¯t have proof, just what she looked like, and smelled like.¡± ¡°Sheesh. The laws of evolution are so funky in this world,¡± Fiona grunted. Doug¡¯s ear crest perked up at this. ¡°You''re summoned?!¡± Fiona grinned at that. ¡°What, you didn¡¯t pick up on that already? My last dying act in my world was to drop a building on an oversized dragon! I did it with nothing but unwavering bravery, a pre-planned demolition job, and a shitload of explosives! I didn¡¯t count on a piece of rebar piercing me through the torso, though. That¡¯s what killed me, even if the truck he flung at me had missed, I would have been dead from blood loss or organ damage.¡± ¡°This explains the irrational hatred of me,¡± he grumbled. ¡°No, Doug, you were kicking people out of their homes. People got hurt, because of your actions. That¡¯s why I don¡¯t like you much. I¡¯m doing this because Bonnie thinks you¡¯ve got a story to tell, and I trust her. So spill it. All the details. And why you remained silent. If I don¡¯t like what I hear, I can hand you over to Barry. I just realized my threat of giving you back all your treasure is now utterly kaput, given your current status as a children''s stuffed toy.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not a stuffed toy!¡± he exclaimed, with a spark of fire emerging from his jaw. He covered his mouth out of embarrassment, but a thin wisp of smoke emerged from his nostrils. ¡°Sorry. Can¡¯t light stuff aflame anymore, but that sure is awkward when that happens.¡± ¡°Doug, you¡¯re utterly adorkable,¡± Darla said with a flash of teeth. ¡°So let¡¯s hear it. If we thought you were full of crap, you would¡¯ve been handed to the town guard already.¡± ¡°Fine. Alright, so about seven months ago, I was minding my business in my swamp, making a decent sale on peat moss. It¡¯s a great fertilizer, and I had the market cornered. I had a decent treasure hoard that wasn¡¯t¡­terribly sized, and all of it gained by legal methods. I''m not like some of my peers of ill repute, who bully people into serving them," he added with a huff. "But, I also wanted to move. My mother¨Cwho was killed by dragon hunters some years ago, in violation of the Folk Treaties of the Unified Kingdoms, had left me a cavern in her will. The problem was, the land deal was stuck in Fiefdala¡¯s courts for an eternity.¡± Greg cleared his throat gently, before opening his arcanist datapad. ¡°I checked, and that court case was settled. You should have had a title to the land. But there are no listings of a title being recorded. Which is a bit odd, but sometimes paperwork gets lost.¡± ¡°I never received a notification on this one, and then all bets were off when the witch riled up the kobolds about stolen lands, and my brother crept in to add fuel to the fire. Then, after things went predictably awful and my brother satiated his love of ruining my life yet again, I got stuck with nothing.¡± ¡°Come to think of it, is it weird they kinda just folded the second the adventurer¡¯s guild showed up? They did a lot more fleeing and hiding in the swamps than fighting,¡± Fiona commented, her curiosity perked. ¡°Your buddies absolutely sucked at fighting, once they faced resistance. But seriously, the evil twin thing is getting old¨C¡±This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it. ¡°Karlin is an absolute bully! Mom always favored me because I worked hard for everything I earned, while he just took, and gave nothing back. That¡¯s why her lair went to me, and she never told him about it¨Cbut I think Dolsag did. I wonder if Karlin knew that, and stirred the pot with the raids because he¡¯d rather see neither of us getting it.¡± ¡°Greg? Is there a Karlin Fierkraag out there?¡± Fiona pinched the bridge of her nose¨Cif this was all true, there was yet another bunch of weirdness going on that preceded her arrival on Cepalune. ¡°Yes. And, they are twins,¡± he added with a shrug. ¡°He has a¡­questionable reputation. And Douglas¡¯s track record, as you can imagine, has been sullied. The dragons up at their enclave to the north recently offered a retraction of a rebuke they gave Douglas years ago, regarding stolen treasure. Said treasure showed up being sold by another dragon matching his description¡­while he had clients vouching for his whereabouts at another location, at the exact same time. A bit ill-timed, considering recent events.¡± ¡°Back up. You buy this?¡± Fiona rolled her eyes at this. Greg, of all people, taking the lying dragon¡¯s side?! ¡°What proof do you have of this, dare I ask?¡± ¡°Arcanist images of the two of them. At the dragon academy.¡± Fiona snorted, but quickly fell to silence when Greg showed them the arcanist page, with the stenciled images of Douglas, and his presumptive brother. ¡°They do look almost identical, yes?¡± ¡°Wouldn¡¯t this have been the first thing people noticed?¡± She couldn¡¯t imagine that everyone could be this dumb. "Sheesh Doug, you could have just--" ¡°Karlin knew how to hurt me. Losing the last thing my mom ever left me? Yeah, I lied to protect it, for a chance to get it later.¡± Doug hung his head in shame. ¡°Doesn¡¯t really matter, since I¡¯ll never get to live there or use it, as utterly powerless as I am. Now, I''m nobody, unless I get Dolsag, or a powerful arcanist, to undo what she did to me.¡± Fiona was fuming internally. This was just too much this time. ¡°You know what? I¡¯m done with this.¡± Fiona got up to leave before she started smashing something. ¡°I¡¯m done with drama, I¡¯m done with scummy kings, I¡¯m done with thieving dragons. I¡¯m tossing you to the town guard for shoplifting, and then you¡¯re not my problem anymore.¡± ¡°Fiona¨C¡± Bonnie started to protest, but she whirled around and glared at her. ¡°No! Every single time I do a service for this kingdom, I¡¯m the one who gets stuck holding the bill! I¡¯m not helping him! Forget it!¡± Her teeth were on edge, and even stoic Greg was taken aback. ¡°This whole circus started because of you, you puntable plushie reject! You could have taken a stand with your brother, and told us about the witch, but no! I ended up taking a dunking because of that jackass on the throne. Who is currently gambling, spending money he doesn¡¯t have while the adventurer¡¯s guild risked their lives, keeping that sleazy blonde bitch Glados around, who probably put a spell on him! Or, he¡¯s a useful idiot, either way¡­¡± ¡°Fiona, please stop,¡± Greg sighed. ¡°No, this venting has been earned! Barry is doing the same stupid shit that landed me in a mess in my prior life! Because he¡¯s self-destructive, insulated by other people who turn a blind eye, and never got the love he needed when it mattered! Now look at him, tearing down a whole kingdom in the process!¡± she was venting and felt fury coursing through her veins¨Cnot even Wingding was going to slow her on this one. Not a single person in the room dared to speak. She pointed at Doug, who was trying unsuccessfully to slink lower in his seat. ¡°And then you have the nerve to show up in my shop. Way to screw up everything again, Doug.¡± ¡°No, let¡¯s rewind to the earlier part of the rant. You care about Barry?¡± Doug narrowed his eyes, he should have been in tears. He wasn¡¯t. He was livid. ¡°That sack of meaty waste of Rikkard¡¯s couldn¡¯t run a treasury without trying to rip me off! That kid needs to fall, and hard¨Capparently, me tipping off his father wasn¡¯t enough of a warning that the kid was rotten! He is not worthy of anyone¡¯s empathy!¡± ¡°That was you?¡± Whether Doug was lying, or this was an extremely strange coincidence, she couldn¡¯t tell. Rikkard had mentioned his son had gotten his wrist slapped for stealing. Maybe this was that event? Doug nodded, wings going slightly less tense. ¡°Yeah, Barry got shuffled to a less relevant position to handle taxes when he made some numbers ¡®appear¡¯ on my business income. He thought he could get away with it, because ¡®dragons are greedy.¡¯ We make better accountants than anyone because we are good at finding true worth!¡± he snapped. ¡°Oy,¡± Greg interjected with a dark glare aimed at the kobold. ¡°Wait. Dragons pay taxes? I thought it goes in the other direction, stealing livestock when it¡¯s convenient,¡± Bonnie mused. ¡°Nono, this is my rant! I don¡¯t have empathy for Barry! I hate Barry!¡± Fiona hissed. ¡°You hate Barry! Stop hating the things I hate, because it makes me want to like you, even though I despise you.¡± ¡°This got weird,¡± Kali muttered, preening one of his wings as if this wasn¡¯t worth the overtime pay he was earning by being in the shop after-hours. ¡°Nah seriously Fiona, the miniature dragon has a point. If you hated Barry enough for what he did, there wouldn¡¯t have been a brick left standing in the palace. I doubt anyone could have stopped you. Jake would be throwing a celebration in your honor, well, probably. You also sound like you have some deep-seated issues from your past life, like you don¡¯t want other people to screw up their lives as you did.¡± She narrowed her eyes at Kali. ¡°I¡¯m gonna let my cat loose on you.¡± ¡°He¡¯d lick me to death before he¡¯d ever eat me,¡± Kali retorted. She didn¡¯t want to agree he was probably right, on that last point, before Kali continued. ¡°Admit it, you secretly want to fix Barry. Or at least get to the bottom of why the whole royal family is so dysfunctional. Minus Lucy. And you don¡¯t want Doug to be right, because if he is, there¡¯s bigger cogs in play.¡± ¡°You buy this?!¡± she shrilled in disbelief. ¡°I buy it.¡± She looked on in dismay at Greg, composed and soft spoken. ¡°There are irregularities that warrant investigation. Douglas'' past dealings with the kingdom were business friendly before this.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t believe you all think he¡¯s telling the truth!¡± She glared at every one of them. ¡°He took one ring worth fifty gold, that looks like a personal item with no notable magical value, Fiona,¡± Greg continued. He showed them the ring¨Ca simple garnet adorned the silver band, with a small stenciling on the underside. ¡°Why this one, Douglas? No one seems interested in it.¡± ¡°Why do you think? Mom gave it to me. She made it.¡± Douglas¡¯ snout quivered lightly before gazing at Fiona. ¡°And you took that, too. If you won¡¯t help, fine. I¡¯ve got ten gold to my name. I¡¯m broke, friendless, and cursed by Dolsag.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve got bigger issues than you, Doug. I¡¯m not lacking empathy, but you¡¯re wrong. Barry is a schemer who isn¡¯t gonna be fixed, even if I wanted to, or Glados is¨C¡± A thought clicked in place. Her eyes widened. ¡°Greg, give me your pen and pad.¡± ¡°These are intimate effects of mine. I don¡¯t just ¡®give them¡¯ to anyone,¡± he huffed. Not even the Fiona glare of death moved him, when she pressed it. ¡°Here.¡± Bonnie offered her a pen and paper from her workstation. Fiona wrote out a name, then started crossing off letters, and started to rearrange them. She stared at her deduction, and the pen rolled lazily across the table, while everyone peered in, including Doug, whose eyes widened. ¡°Um¡­so¡­¡± For once, she couldn¡¯t hate Doug, who tapped a claw anxiously on the paper. ¡°You have got to be kidding me.¡± She pointed at the paper, with the work showing the substitution. Dolsag was an anagram for Glados. She tapped her finger on the table and glanced at their current detainee. ¡°Bonnie, break the shackles off of him.¡± She let out a frustrated sigh, and glared at Doug. ¡°You¡¯re still paying for the spectacle you caused in my shop.¡± ¡°With what?! Woman, I''m a newly broke dragon!¡± ¡°Are you a licensed appraiser? You said you know the value of things.¡± Gears started turning in her head. She hated Doug, but maybe that hatred was misplaced¡­for once. ¡°Yes¨Cwell, on paper, yes. I did run a few careers before settling on a subtly lucrative peat moss fertilizer industry, and I think my license is still valid¨C¡± He groaned audibly when he saw where this was leading. ¡°You¡¯re gonna make me work for you?! Selling my own stuff?!¡± Kali broke out in a cawing laughter, folding over and pointing at Doug. ¡°Haha, she got you, too!¡± ¡°Shut it, chicken wing,¡± Doug snapped, but Kali laughed harder, and Douglas groaned louder. Fiona stood there, wondering if she was making a terrible choice. But, when she glanced at Wingding, who was flapping enthusiastically, she sighed internally. So far, Wingding hadn¡¯t been wrong. Am I going to regret this, Wingding? Two flaps later, she had the answer she didn¡¯t want to hear, and she gestured to the kobold, amber eyes filled with anxiety. ¡°Well Doug, you and I have two things in common: We¡¯re both functionally broke, and we both think Barry either needs fixing or a good thrashing. Do you want my help? It has a price tag.¡± ¡°You are the most transactional dragon in all of Fiefdala,¡± Douglas accused, and she nodded enthusiastically. ¡°I¡¯ve been called worse. Now, was that a ¡®yes¡¯ I heard from you?¡± "Never!" he screamed. "Well, consider this: if we do prove this whole thing is crooked, you''ll have standing to stick it to Barry for the theft of your treasure. And probably some compensation for the immense hit to your reputation and financial well-being. I''m sure we can dig up more proof if you''re telling the truth. Much as it pains me to say that." Doug looked like he wanted to strangle her, and gritted his teeth. "How much have you sold so far? There were only a few things that meant something to me, the rest were historical curios I acquired." "Eh, we still got a vault of it left. Work for me, and if this pans out, you get to keep the things you value! But don''t be greedy!" she warned him, tapping him on the snout for emphasis. "So, what''s it going to be?" He let out a resigned sigh. "I need a minute to think on this one." Vol. 2, Ch. 67: Hard-Scaled Negotiation Douglas glared at her the entire time he was thinking, tapping a claw impatiently on the table. He glanced occasionally at the others, but ultimately turned his gaze back to her. She leaned in, fingers folded together while she put on a leering smile. ¡°Hey, Doug. You like the idea of justice.¡± ¡°What about all the stuff you¡¯ve already sold? It¡¯s gone, forever!¡± he wailed. ¡°We haven¡¯t sold anything that couldn¡¯t be replaced easily, and you said it yourself, there were only a few items you really liked. You didn¡¯t need all that stuff. You just like the idea of having stuff, for that moment when you may need it! You know how I know this?¡± she leaned in, eyes narrowed. ¡°Because you¡¯re worse than me?¡± he answered with a small snort. ¡°Correct. I used to be a materialistic bitch. A trend I am very much trying to break on my second round of life. I try not to be a spendthrift. I try not to make selfish decisions. And it''s hard to break bad habits, Doug.¡± ¡°She shares her jacuzzi with the community at her apartment,¡± Greg pointed out. ¡°Before recent events...I would not have expected that outcome.¡± ¡°She took jailbird here and gave him a job and a second chance. A job he''s¡­pretty good at.¡± Bonnie wore a smug look as she gazed at Kali, who bristled his feathers at this. ¡°¡®Pretty good at it¡¯, she says. I''m cornering the market on security and inventory management, with Greg¡¯s assistance.¡± Darla also took a moment to offer something, catching onto what Fiona was planning. ¡°She donated her winnings from the harvest tournament. It wasn''t a tiny amount.¡± The kobold raised an eye crest at this. ¡°It was still my stuff.¡± ¡°Yes, it was. I might have pushed too hard, because you were painted as the bad guy, and back then? I was more than happy to go beat up deserving villains.¡± Fiona concluded. Douglas sighed, and kept tapping a claw on the table, like he was still doing calculus in his head. ¡°Now, Doug, you and I got off on the wrong claw, and we both have someone in common who supremely screwed us. Someone who likely set the wheels in motion for our current situation and schemes to put Fiefdala into a bit of a bind: Glados. We don¡¯t have proof of her every ill deed, but we¡¯re going to find it. And I bet, the answer is in Vale, where her little patsy is trying to set up a lucrative trade deal.¡± ¡°Haha. You, sleuthing? You''re a wrecking ball, Swiftheart, not a detective.¡± He kept tapping his claw, trying to read her expression. ¡°Oh, actually I can find hidden value everywhere.¡± Wingding had been giving her the notion that Doug''s heart was woefully empty, and she doubted it was just a lack of a treasure hoard. He wasn¡¯t that shallow, if he put more worth in a hand-crafted ring than a dozen other items over ten times that worth in the same case. It got her thinking, for a moment. What if I''ve been wrong this whole time, Wingding? What if I''m the jerk who took a wrecking ball to people who didn''t deserve it? Her companion was notably silent, which was unusual. I''m supposed to get the answer to this one on my own, aren''t I? Flap. ¡°You know what, Doug?" she said after a long pause, where everyone was glancing at her in curiosity. "You can take the ring, and walk on out of here, right now. Consider it a peace offering.¡± Doug¡¯s eyes went wide, mouth slightly agape. ¡°Why would you do that?¡± She shook her head. "Why? How about the fact that I humiliated you beyond reasonably funny?¡± She leaned away from the table, gaging his reaction, where he blinked a few times, and shook his head. ¡°You¡¯d just let me walk out with that? After what I did?¡± ¡°Yep.¡± ¡°We would?¡± Kali said edgily. ¡°We still have to fix that case.¡± ¡°Small tubers, Kali. I know a glass guy who can fix it,¡± Fiona assured him. Doug let out a tsk sound. ¡°I think you¡¯re trying to trick me into this.¡± ¡°You¡¯re right, Doug, it¡¯s less effort to let you walk out right now, no strings attached. You get a keepsake from your mom. I think that¡¯s what matters, right?¡± He kept tapping his claw, eyes peering down at the table where she¡¯d left it. His expression was a little less toothy and adversarial. She waited a beat, before continuing. ¡°Or, door number two, we can both walk a cleansing path of shedding our souls of rampant consumerism, appreciating the important things in life, and putting a giant boot¨Cor claw, in your case¨Cto the backside of scummy kings and evil witches. Now, before I dive into that¡­did you ever do a tag sale in your life, Doug?¡± she asked. ¡°You¡¯re insane.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve been called crazy before, Doug. I¡¯m still coming to terms with my shipwreck of a life that terminated on the side of a thirty-ton oil tanker truck, thrown by a bigger, meaner, and less cute version of you.¡± He raised an eye crest at that. ¡°You didn¡¯t answer my question, though.¡± ¡°No, I never shucked my stuff off. Do you know how many times I¡¯ve had to restart? I managed to hide some stuff from Karlin the second time this happened. What I did have, was hard-earned.¡± He glanced out to the store, focusing on some distant item. ¡°Walk with me?¡± ¡°Sure.¡± Bonnie dismissed the magical shackles, and Doug got up from the table, stretching his legs before motioning them to a small armor set, made of mage steel, by the cases on the far side. ¡°What does this one mean to you, Doug?¡± Fiona asked a few seconds later. ¡°It¡¯s a purchase I made many years ago. I liked the aesthetic and the history and was capable of taking human form to utilize it--if need be. But with my dragon form currently¡­inaccessible, I can¡¯t access that, either.¡± He pointed with a claw to the armor, tracing the crest on the silvered breastplate¨Conce again, the sigil of a griffin. ¡°Do you know the origin of the current banner of Fiefdala?¡±If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement. ¡°No, actually I don¡¯t,¡± Fiona shrugged. ¡°Greg?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll hold my comment for now.¡± he crossed his arms as if gauging what Doug would do, who cleared his throat, gold eyes focused on it. ¡°This was an armor set made for the son of Chester Kuras, a lord of the precursor to Fiefdala, about two hundred and fifty years ago. Functionally the armor is durable, but light. His father taught him everything he knew--and imparted his lessons well. It protected his son though many trying times--Vale, once again, trying to expand their market of flesh, to be rebuked again. He then gave the armor to his son, Josin Kuras. He was well-trained, too. During an expedition to deal with banditry in the eastern outreaches, they came across an encampment of bandits with a druid enchanter, using wild animals to attack people and¡­collect items, after the monsters made short work of unarmed, unarmored commoners. People using their marks for¡­awful things.¡± ¡°Do you have a mark?¡± Fiona asked. ¡°I¡¯m still learning, and as far as I know¡­only Folk have them.¡± ¡°We do. We dragons in particular carry a mark on our scales¡­and a lattice of mana crystal within our bodies that fuels it. I¡¯m not sure if there¡¯s two magical sources at work, though many have speculated.¡± He moved on before she could drill deeper into that comment. ¡°Josin knew the poor monsters were slaves to the will of the druid, their name is forgotten by history.¡± He pointed to a single raking strike, ever so faint, that marred the armor. Fiona noted the metal had been repaired. ¡°Josin was enamored with the wilderness. He studied it, and spent a lot of time in it, learning about beasts and their relation to their environment, whenever he could afford it. He saw what the bandits were doing, and stood against a silver griffin when it was sent to disrupt them: a very dangerous beast in these parts. They can tear apart an armored knight with their claws, and their airborne strike is deadly. He also knew slaying the druid would not solve the problem, and the beast would have to be put down if they took that route. ¡°But Josin had trained beasts before. He sought an elegant solution¨Cengaging the beast in sport. It was a risky calculation, tiring the creature out, before subduing it¨Cnon-lethally. An impressive feat, though he was injured during the endeavor. ¡°The griffin female also had fledglings¨Cthey were treated poorly by the druid, and were motivated by fear, rather than a bond of trust. Infuriated by this defeat, the druid made a final terrible choice and tried to use one of the fledglings to attack the young knight. Once again, he demonstrated aptness to subdue, rather than harm. The druid, enraged by these actions, then tried to kill Josin himself¨Cand the griffins, having seen his remarkable empathy, and having witnessed him getting injured on the account of not having to slay them, turned on the druid, and defended the young lord. He went on to survive for another forty years.¡± ¡°Is there an allegory to this story?¡± Greg mused. ¡°Trust isn''t transactional. Sit down with someone dangerous long enough and get to know them, and maybe, they won¡¯t try to beat you senseless,¡± Doug replied with a scoff. Fiona fought the urge to respond--maybe this was one barb she''d brought on herself. ¡°On the historical front, then yes, the young lord saw the creature show compassion, duty, and strength¡­and nobility. All trademarks of what is required in a nation, and a leader. Hence, the griffin on the tapestries.¡± ¡°Is he spinning yarn?¡± Darla asked. ¡°I, too, do not know all the history. Getting yoinked from Underlune has that effect.¡± ¡°He is correct. This is, indeed, the history of the crown sigil. I am surprised the armor survived. Normally, if you get it this badly damaged,¡± Greg pointed to the defect, ¡°You just melt it down and start over.¡± ¡°He kept it as a reminder,¡± Doug said with a proud nod. ¡°You know what my mark is? I¡¯m a Historian, of all things. I don¡¯t use it for my day-to-day career¨Cbut, I do use it to great effect for my pastimes. I can tell an item¡¯s true worth is¨Cnot just in gold, but in what it means to others. History is a weave. It¡¯s complicated. It speaks--if people are willing to listen to it." She swore if she didn¡¯t know better, that Douglas was speaking to her heart when he said that, and had some inkling of the power of her mark. And Wingding, potentially. She took a second to finish the pitch. ¡°So, what do you think, Doug? You have nowhere to dig, but up. If this all pans out, you both fix your history, and come out on top of this as a scaly hero.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t offer platitudes to me, Miss Swiftheart. I just want my stuff, as much as I can get my claws on, then I¡¯m high-tailing it out of here to someplace where Karlin won¡¯t ever find me again. Someplace cold, possibly north of the Arkentine Mountains. He hates the cold.¡± ¡°Nuh-uh. That guy has been bullying you all your life, which means he¡¯ll just do it again, as soon as he finds you,¡± Fiona countered. ¡°You know what my money is on? Glados and Karlin are trying to move all the gold out of Fiefdala. I doubt their partnership has concluded. We already know they had ratfolk shapeshifted under duress stealing gold, and not a trivial amount, run by a druid working for one of the crime families of the Kingdom. They likely have other schemes going and keep their hands clear of it, to avoid a trail of evidence. We also know Barry¡¯s either expecting a windfall from Vale¨Cor, he¡¯s an idiot.¡± ¡°Have you ever considered Rikkard is part of this and is sanctioning his son¡¯s efforts on this? That he just¡­gave up the pretense of being a decent ruler, and is bleeding the kingdom dry? Don¡¯t think I haven¡¯t noticed that gold is a little tight,¡± Doug pressed, peering up at her with all his relatively short stature. ¡°Besides, you have a shop to run. How are you planning on being in two places at once?¡± ¡°Oh, glad you asked,¡± she asked with a smile. ¡°That also sounded suspiciously like you were almost on board with this.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t commit to anything! I hate you!¡± he fumed. ¡°I don''t blame you. I gave you a crap deal that, had I known everything at the time, would never have brought down on you," she offered as a concession. "Look, if I can put my differences aside, so can you. We both want to earn a living, and a chance to see some people humiliated and imprisoned! Then I get to go back to living a normal, humdrum life!¡± she beamed, her hands pressed together as if this dream were possible. Greg coughed to mask what she thought was a laugh, and she gave him a sidelong look and a pouty lip. Bonnie was in stitches and didn¡¯t even pretend to hold back. ¡°You, Fiona? I don¡¯t think anyone¡¯s gonna let you live a relatively mundane life, with the way things have been around you for the past seven and a half months,¡± she cackled. ¡°Way to take my side, Red.¡± ¡°Takes one to know one, candy corn,¡± she retorted playfully. Doug by this point had thrown his hands up in the air, and let out a shout of frustration. It was the most adorable sound she¡¯d ever heard a miniature dragon make. ¡°Fine, jeez! It can¡¯t be any worse than being destitute and barely capable of flight!¡± He pointed a clawed finger at Fiona. ¡°When we¡¯re done recovering my dignity, my luxurious, shiny red scales, and my historical finds of actual worth to me? Then we part ways. Amicably. For the rest of our lives. I still don¡¯t know how you plan to achieve any of this.¡± ¡°I''ve got plans underway. Well then, we have a¨C¡± ¡°And, you will melt down your hammer, as an apology.¡± Fiona felt her ears twitch, and everyone gave her space out of preservation of health. Even Wingding was telegraphing a huge anxiety from the shiver of her wings. Doug stood firm, even in the face of pending elven death. ¡°Oh Doug, that is off limits. It¡¯s valuable to me.¡± ¡°Really? The comically huge hammer?¡± He wore a toothy grin that further drove her smashing time therapy response. ¡°Surely you don¡¯t need it anymore if you¡¯re ¡®settling down¡¯, as they call it. Let me guess, gonna need a minute to think about it?¡± She gave it three seconds of thought. and the decision she reached, surprised her. It wasn¡¯t irreplaceable. It was just going to hurt profoundly. But this time, it might be the cost of doing business. ¡°After we put this all behind us? I''ll let you melt it down yourself," she said quietly. "I¡¯d hate to prematurely melt down a tool that could come in handy. Especially, since your brother has not been handed his twin-fueled humiliation.¡± Her lip twisted upwards just a little, and his facial scales flexed in surprise. ¡°Deal?¡± She offered a hand to him, and he flexed his claws in anticipation. But in the end, she knew what his answer would be, as did Wingding. She had sent her answer in a single code: Trust. Vol. 2, Ch. 68: A Bunch Of Savages In This Kingdom... ¡°Fiona and the dragon, sitting in the tree¨C¡± ¡°Finish that singing, you smoky hot she-devil, and I¡¯ll take your horns for a prize on my mantle.¡± Fiona didn¡¯t even bother glaring at Darla, who was humming while they walked to the shop early in the morning. Greg and Bonnie were bundled up and walking together just a stride or two behind them, giggling. She pushed her wavy hair back out of her face, but the wind had been picking up, across the lake. Snow squalls were on the northern end, and drifting southward toward the city limits. She loved the snow. She hated the dragon. He had this air of superiority around him, even when he was down on his luck¨Cand a touch of arrogance, too. She couldn¡¯t fault his decidedly excellent historical skills though, after he demonstrated his knowledge of a few more items in the shop¨Cand he picked out two other items, not of high worth, but items she would have to work hard to make the money back on. She had been concerned he wouldn¡¯t agree to this deal, given she understood his viewpoint and perception he got a raw deal¡­ But he did. And maybe, she did it because she realized she needed to make that right--somehow. Darla leaned in, talking in a sultry voice while keeping pace. ¡°I hear that dragons¨Cand kobolds¨Care great in the¨C¡± She put a finger to Darla¡¯s lips to shush her. Fiona¡¯s cheeks were reddened, and not from the cold, either. ¡°Oh, you love stirring the pot.¡± ¡°Yes I do,¡± she stated with a grin, her golden eyes lighting up in delight. ¡°I mean, you know us. You know you¡¯ve got a rather interesting alignment of characters in your shop. Gotta keep it exciting, dramatic, flashy¡­¡± ¡°Okay, we''re still working on just going back to neutral, Darla. He tried to set me on fire! Well, only once. And he did a bad job at it. Seriously, how does a dragon fail to set things on fire?!¡± she fumed aloud, hands in the air for emphasis. ¡°This is purely transactional! He helps me find proof to knock Barry down a peg, we get enough proof to throw Glados down a well. Or, in the lake maybe. Why does that lake get smelly?¡± ¡°Dunno. Fiefdala does have water cleansing runes for¡­you know, keeping the environment not polluted,¡± Darla shrugged and adjusted her tie. The shop was in sight down the row, and other shops were starting to open up, though no one was spending time outside due to the brisk wind. Not even the wolvens and the kitsunes, given their fur coats. Fiona reached for the keys in her pocket. Everyone had a copy of it, though Bonnie had suggested a wardstone access¨Cregular keys could be faked more easily, and even Kali had been onboard with the idea. Because each ward had a unique identifier, it would be very easy to prove if anyone had misused them. Darla continued, after adjusting her tie. ¡°What¡¯s your in, anyway? We¡¯re still biding our time.¡± ¡°We¡¯re not. We¡¯re forcing Barry to make a move,¡± she stated with a smile. ¡°If Barry thinks he has no leverage on me, he¡¯s going to panic. Without me, he believes these negotiations are going to fall flat. So, he absolutely will do something ham headed, or his nefarious advisor will whisper something to him with her viper tongue.¡± ¡°So¡­how are we doing that?¡± ¡°Putting ourselves in striking distance of paying the whole shebang off. I may not be able to avoid paying Barry a copper personally, but it was a noble effort. Greg, how long before we drop this dragon dung bomb on him?¡± she called back behind her. ¡°About two weeks, if my math is right. Right in time for Wintramas. It¡¯s¡­well, a few dedicated holidays where the kingdom settles down for feasting and celebration.¡± Greg had been whispering something to Bonnie, who cackled madly, her witchy hat staying on her ears despite the wind. ¡°Gifts! Friends! And snacks!¡± Fiona declared with a fist pump into the air. There was a flap of wings, and Fiona glanced up¨Ca bundled-up kobold with stubby wings landed, coming in from the opposite direction, chattering his teeth audibly. Kali also came in just ahead of him, looking proud. ¡°Hey, there guys! Looky who I found on my way in!¡± he announced as he slicked back his feather crest, and gestured to Douglas, looking more formal in a vest and a bowtie. She snerked at this. Doug¡¯s appearance screamed sophisticated, even for a kobold. ¡°It¡¯s a shop, not a black tie event!¡± she teased, and he gave her a face full of doom while chattering. ¡°I hate the cold. Soooo much.¡± He held his wings against his body like a cloak, while Kali seemed to be faring far better. ¡°I didn¡¯t mind it much when I was a dragon. This form is inferior.¡± ¡°What, the cold didn¡¯t bother you when you were a dragon?¡± Fiona teased. He gave her a one-claw salute while he shuffled to the door that she laughed at. ¡°Wait, answer something for me. You¡¯re warm-blooded, right?¡± ¡°Yes! Kobolds and dragons are not lizards! Everyone gets it wrong!¡± he declared with a huff. Indeed, she could make out some feathers¨Cvery small ones, on his wings. She got to the lock and tried to insert the key to the finely lacquered double doors. ¡°Kali and I are closer in origin than elves and humans!¡±A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. ¡°I find that a stretch,¡± she muttered. ¡°Don¡¯t try to bite my bird. He bites back.¡± ¡°Bah, I¡¯m not afraid of this guy. I¡¯ve dealt with shady fellas when I uh¡­found things that had fallen off the back of the steam automaton,¡± Kali added awkwardly. Fiona couldn¡¯t seem to get the key in the lock, and she frowned. Kali leaned in, beak practically pressed against the door. ¡°Hey, hold up a second, Fiona.¡± ¡°Why?¡± He pointed at the why, and she let out a small sound of surprise. ¡°Oh, this will not stand,¡± she hissed. Someone had put gum or some foam in the locks. Bonnie also leaned in, her wand in hand. ¡°Bonnie, who does this? The last time I saw someone do something this childish, was in a movie! I swear, if I ever find a summoner who can slingshot me back to Earth, I¡¯m bringing back my DVD collection. And I¡¯m killing that mutated dragon that did me in once already, to avenge my world.¡± Doug gulped at this mention. ¡°Not you. You¡¯re utterly adorkable, right as you are.¡± ¡°What¡¯s a devidi?¡± Greg asked, puzzled. ¡°A magical disc that records our greatest theatrical displays!¡± She would go into greater detail about Greek weddings, but Bonnie was examining the now gummed-up lock, poking it with a claw. ¡°So, Bon-Bon, what¡¯re we dealing with?¡± ¡°A bunch of savages in this kingdom. Like that was going to deter me?¡± she added with a snarl, and narrowed her blue eyes on tracing out a small rune hovering in the air and glowing light red. ¡°I can get this out, it¡¯ll incinerate without damaging the lock, looks like children¡¯s candy¨C¡± ¡°STOP!¡± Doug put a hand out to disrupt the rune, which went up in a small puff of incendiary particles. He shook his hand but wasn¡¯t bothered by the intense burst of heat that Fiona swore singed a few hairs. ¡°Doug, what the hell? It¡¯s freezing out here!¡± she called out, annoyed. ¡°Take a sniff.¡± ¡°What?! Okay, you know what, sure. I¡¯ll bite.¡± She took a sniff¨Cand recoiled backward, gagging. ¡°Ah, that¡¯s gross! It smells like diesel!¡± Bonnie cautiously inspected the lock, as if she didn¡¯t already observe Fiona make a terrible move, and sniffed lightly. She reeled backward, teeth gritted in fury. ¡°Oh, those rotten kids packed the lock with alchemist gel and covered the scent with gum. Clever play.¡± Everyone slowly stepped back, and Douglas peered in, scraping the lock, and frowning, while everyone insisted he step back. ¡°I¡¯m a cinder dragon, thank you. Someone setting up an incendiary fire show couldn¡¯t kill me with this amount,¡± he grumbled, before stepping back. ¡°Now, dare I ask why you all get this level of drama daily?¡± ¡°I would ask, would it kill me to have one normal day with this shop? And the answer is yes, it might.¡± Fiona¡¯s ears were going numb from the cold. ¡°I¡¯m gonna have to get Pierre on speed dial on my relay. Peek inside the window, did anyone put anything on the other side?¡± It was sort of funny to watch Doug hop and use his wings to hover for a second¨Che didn¡¯t seem to have quite as much fear, and he smoothed his vest afterward. ¡°No, I didn¡¯t see anything. I think this is just a rather nasty child¡¯s prank. You should check the other locks.¡± Fiona vowed to use this rotten hellspawn of a kid as bait if she ever went fishing in the lake. She stomped over to the back entry, where she found the same hindrance. Everyone was shivering from the wind blowing stiffly from the lake, a squall line sending drifting snow along the water at a distance, but rapidly closing. ¡°Ya know, this would be the kind of stupid thing Barry would do, except this is exceptionally stupid. Can¡¯t we scrape it out of the lock?¡± ¡°We could just blast it with water,¡± Darla proposed. ¡°Bonnie, got any spells for that?¡± ¡°Yeah, but, it might make a mess,¡± she pushed back, looking anxious. ¡°I don¡¯t like getting my fur wet when I don¡¯t want to. The thing is with this gel, there¡¯s nothing solid to grab it with telekinesis. Or, we cut the lock. Not great options.¡± A minute later, Bonnie prepared a rune to blast water at the lock, thanks to her book of cantrips and simple spells. Fiona hadn¡¯t gotten the knack for them except the telekinesis and the occasional spark of fire, but almost anyone could use them¨Ceven though they weren¡¯t tied to a specific mark¨C She groaned audibly. ¡°Guys, I¡¯m an idiot. One second.¡± Poof. She didn¡¯t actually make a poof sound, but in her head, it should be the sound someone makes when they teleport from one place to another. She heard the distant gasp of Doug, asking if the elf had disintegrated herself. She crept up on the window and eyed the lock¨Ceasily unlatched from this side. She just hoped the gum didn¡¯t have some kind of trigger, but she didn¡¯t see anything that was disturbed, inside the store. Bonnie, however, was wearing a sly smile when she spotted her by the door. Meanwhile, the kobold was flapping about and freaking out, while no one else was even showing the slightest signs of worry. There were accusations of trickery, that he was being hazed, and that he was getting crapped on for being the patsy of the losing side. She waited with folded arms for the right level of panic from Doug. She might as well have some fun with this¨Cand try to douse Darla¡¯s suggestions she would ever so much as date Doug, let alone invite him to her apartment, cook a meal together, or cozy up on the couch¨C What am I doing? Stop thinking about it! She audibly let out a groan and gripped her ears, feeling a flush on her cheeks. Damn it you she-devil, you gave me infectious thoughts! Darla looked on with satisfaction, one hand on her hip, and blew a soft air kiss her way. Fiona furrowed her brow. Oh, you know what you did. She unlocked the door slowly and it opened without resistance, while Doug was pointing at Kali, who was trying not to give it away. ¡°Oh, are you guys having a laugh? Does the elf teleport, now? What kind of merchant has that power?!¡± She tipped close to Doug and whispered by his ear crest. ¡°The kind that needs to steal snacks, and beat up dragons.¡± Hearing a kobold scream in fright, and seeing him jump skyward in a flutter of wings and feathers, were easily the top ten most fun things she¡¯d done in her life. ¡°You harlot!¡± he accused, pointing a claw at her. ¡°How did you¨Cwhat is¨C¡± ¡°Trade secret, Doug,¡± she grinned. ¡°We¡¯ll still have to clean out the locks. Are you ready for the day? You¡¯re molting feathers right now.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not molting!¡± he huffed. An errant red feather floated by his snout. ¡°That one I preened,¡± he added hastily. ¡°Sounded like you were a little concerned,¡± she added with a smirk. ¡°For you? I¡¯d have more concern for my thieving brother,¡± he replied with a snarl. The snout boop was the icing on the cake for her. ¡°I hope you¡¯re not having a laugh at my expense, Miss Swiftheart.¡± ¡°Me? Nah. We have an agreement. I honor my commitments!¡± she beamed. ¡°Now, you have an orientation day, and we have to get out of this cold! Shall we?¡± ¡°Oh, it¡¯s going to go both ways, Miss Swiftheart. I hope you brought a pen and paper. Time to learn some history.¡± He wore a determined grin as he cracked the joints of his claws. ¡°Because I can tell you, Barry, or whoever appraised you, royally ripped you off. Better yet, I can prove it.¡± Vol. 2, Ch. 69: They Belong In A Museum! (Part One) Half the day went by, with Fiona going over the store setup, rules, and the items in inventory. Doug, of course, needed no list. But she also knew there would be no objections from him, now that she¡¯d weeded out the items that mattered the most to him. It did occur to her that she hadn¡¯t asked where he was staying. And she had to pay him a living wage, which Greg had quietly taken care of and told her they had no issues with bringing him on board in terms of payroll. She¡¯d checked the numbers. They were whittling down this debt. She was waiting for the shoe to drop. It always did, right before things could work out wonderfully. She went over the list of discrepancies Doug had written up in fluid strokes of cursive. She frowned. ¡°Seriously, you write in cursive?¡± ¡°Old habit, from a time when everyone used to use it. Before they invented pens, I¡¯m sure that it is an import from Earth,¡± he shrugged. She raised an eyebrow and a pointy ear in response. ¡°What¡¯s with that look? You¡¯re not the only one summoned.¡± ¡°Yeah, but I might have been the last, if our world didn¡¯t get its act together. You know it¡¯s gotten a little easier to talk about this, now that I know I¡¯m not¡­ya know, a freak case. I mean I am, but not for the reasons you think,¡± she added hastily. ¡°So you know what your role is?¡± ¡°I can guess. I can make an excellent sales pitch, considering these items all belong to me,¡± he growled. She tapped her foot impatiently, and he took note. ¡°Will belong to me, again. Eventually. I also see some new items in here¨Chow on Cepalune did you get dwarven armor in here?¡± he asked, looking fascinated. ¡°They never share. Or not in significant quantities. I know, because I never got one, despite offering some dwarven finds of considerable historical worth.¡± ¡°Silver tongue, buddy. I thought dragons were good at talking with people too, when they aren¡¯t eating them,¡± she added, while Doug scowled. ¡°We don¡¯t eat people.¡± ¡°My ex-boyfriend would disagree with you, there,¡± she countered, eyes narrowed. ¡°Hah. Someone¡¯s lying to you. We¡¯re not big enough to eat a whole person. You remember how big I was, right?¡± he asked with a huff. ¡°Sounds like ex-boyfriend realized the girlfriend was a little¨C¡± ¡°Do be careful what you say, to your current employer,¡± she warned him, teeth ground tightly. ¡°Choose wisely.¡± ¡°All I¡¯m saying is, we can¡¯t hinge our jaws open like we¡¯re some giant snake who can eat things bigger than our head,¡± he added with a smug look. ¡°Besides, you all taste terrible. Blech. I can taste with my tongue¨Cwell, scents, I suppose¨Cand that cinnamon is overpowering.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t taste terrible¨C¡± she didn¡¯t catch the statement in time, and narrowed her eyes at Doug, wearing a smug look now. ¡°Round one goes to you, pint-sized. Now let¡¯s move on to business.¡± ¡°Right. My evaluation is, someone was corruptly influencing the numbers on the taxes. And it¡¯s worse than Mister Lockheed determined." He showed her the numbers on the arcanist pad¨Cneatly written showing good penmanship, and she traced a finger over the pace, in utter focus. ¡°Forty percent? This is criminal.¡± ¡°I think we call that ¡®fraud¡¯ in most places, yes. He overvalued several items even more than that. Some, even double their worth. But he also screwed up in our favor.¡± Doug waved to a smaller list. ¡°These big ticket items? I know the statue¡¯s worth double what he appraised it at. The assessor was an idiot. Or, perhaps going with a big brain move and laying out a trap to see if you noticed.¡± ¡°Probably the former of those two.¡± She walked with him, hearing soft claw clicks across the well-maintained wood floor, and echoing in the open space of the shop. ¡°So, I know a guy who assessed some stuff of mine. But I don¡¯t know who assessed your¡­collection.¡± Doug grunted. ¡°An idiot, or a schemer. Possibly both. The level of incompetence on these numbers¡­it makes my scales itch,¡± he added with a small plume of flame emerging from his nostrils. ¡°Hey, hey, don¡¯t set the place on fire. I have enough issues on my plate, as it were.¡± ¡°I¡¯m upset, is what I am. I told Rikkard, to his face, ¡®Your kid is rotten to the core, and he is trouble.¡¯ You don¡¯t defraud a dragon, if you want to continue breathing, and I made myself clear to him that this behavior would not stand.¡± He tapped the pen against the page before scribbling more detailed numbers down. "Then he puts that idiot on the throne. I wonder if Barry has something on him." "What, blackmail?" Fiona hadn''t actually considered it. She''d been convinced that Glados was the viper that needed to be yanked out, but, was there another factor? "That would be...well, disturbing, if he told Rikkard to go retire, and he just did it. But, I thought you were convinced Rikkard just sold out and gave up." "A theory that doesn''t hold water, the more I think about it," he frowned. "Rikkard has a reputation for being stalwart, and competent. Something else must have given out if that were the case. One of the dragons who runs a business by the hills near where I was set up, told me he got a report the local mines were drying up. I never investigated, because you can practically trip over gold in Fiefdala." ¡°Seriously, did someone throw Barry down a well or something? Because the level of incompetence I¡¯ve seen is pretty disturbing. Rikkard would have been better served by forcing Lucy to grow up. Ah damn it, she hates the throne, and the idea of being a leader,¡± Fiona sighed while they continued to walk along. Fiona occasionally had to ward off a customer or point them to the right aisle¨Cas if they weren¡¯t already labeled, and she leered at them as they departed.The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. ¡°That deadly glare is more useful when they¡¯re facing you,¡± Doug commented in a dry tone. ¡°Working retail is tough, Doug, let me tell you. It¡¯s worse when you run the place, because if it fails, it means you screwed up somewhere.¡± ¡°So, you ran a business before? I take it that it didn¡¯t go well, and when you got a second shot at life from a mysterious benefactor¨Cwhich I find pretty sus¨Cyou took to all sorts of wonderful pastimes! Like temple raiding, smashing slimes into next week¡¯s healing potions, turning monsters into pelts¡­and making me your punching bag. Great career turn,¡± he added with a slow clap. ¡°H-hey, that treasure was just sitting there! It belonged in a museum! I mean I think some of it made its way there, Greg usually handled that stuff.¡± She thrust her hands in her pockets, and she shot a smoldering look at him. ¡°You should be one to talk. You¡¯re a dragon. The archetypal bad guy.¡± ¡°I resent that. Though my brother isn¡¯t doing any favors to shed our species of that rather awful stereotype.¡± He rubbed at the silver ring he¡¯d put on one claw, and shook his head almost imperceptibly. ¡°You know who the worst monsters are? People who choose to be one. Karlin has cheated, stolen, bullied, and probably roasted a number of his problems, and tried to pin it on me, whenever he can.¡± ¡°C¡¯mon, don¡¯t they have scrying magic? Or does this world follow weird logic bullshit?¡± she pressed. ¡°He¡¯s¡­cunning. He¡¯s like me, but he uses his intelligence maliciously. Not to say I haven¡¯t roasted someone who tried to stick a spear in me first, but I chose to be a part of the community, rather than ransacking it,¡± he added with a rumble. ¡°Your dragon-fu was pretty weak, candidly speaking.¡± He glared at her furiously, and she returned the expression with a smirk. ¡°Did you never do any fighting?¡± ¡°I¡¯m a dragon. Anyone who manfights a dragon either has suicidal bravery, is dumb, or has a well-prepared plan. Besides, my kin has a regular community up north,¡± he snapped, looking incensed at her casual responses. ¡°You should go visit. We¡¯re as sophisticated up there as we are in Fiefdala.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s say I believe you, and that I¡¯ll put it on a list of places to visit at some point.¡± Another thought came up. ¡°Dumb question. Did Karlin get the same mark as you, since he¡¯s a twin?¡± ¡°Nope. I don¡¯t actually know what his mark is, believe it or not,¡± he added with a scoff. ¡°Not everyone shares that, you know. Unlike you.¡± ¡°Only to my friends, and adversaries I keep close.¡± She glanced at the display and fixed an arrangement of potions to be arrayed with the correct labeling, then took a note on her arcanist pad of the remaining ones. ¡°Anyway, getting back on track, retail is rough. It¡¯s long hours. Sometimes your margins are razor-thin. You go from buying lobster, to peanut butter sandwiches when times get tough. Then, you get the problem customers.¡± ¡°Problem customers?¡± ¡°Oh, I had names for all of them. The window shoppers, the scammers, the revolving door customers, the weird ones that ask inane questions like if your food products are wheat, egg, gluten, or dairy free! Even though it¡¯s on the label.¡± She let out a puff of air to push her hair back into place. ¡°There¡¯s one right there,¡± she added as she narrowed her eyes, and gestured for him to follow her gaze. ¡°What, the elf at the display case?¡± he queried. ¡°She¡¯s been sitting at that display case for an hour. Asking Greg to show her each of the rings. She puts it on, takes it off, puts it on again, haggles on the price, then asks to see another one! Then she¡¯ll go through the whole case, looking for that one purchase! Then, she¡¯ll ask if there are any more options in the back.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think she¡¯s done that yet¨C¡± Fiona put a finger up in the air, and pressed close to the kobold. ¡°Wait for it,¡± she uttered in a low tone. He went wide-eyed and gently shied away. ¡°You have an intimidating presence, has anyone told you? You¡¯re like the apex predator in the room, and choosing what your next meal is.¡± ¡°It takes one to know one,¡± she smiled. She observed Greg wearing that press-lipped look, determined to not let his annoyance through at the brown-haired elf with far too much makeup, and she heard her distantly ask if there was anything in the back. Greg¡¯s brow twitched, but he did say that they had a few more choices in the back. But, they would need to be accessed and there would be a short wait. ¡°Okay, that¡¯s spooky. You have been doing this for far too long,¡± Doug stated, sounding mildly impressed. ¡°Oh, it gets better! There¡¯s the complainer customer. The one talking to Bonnie,¡± she added while pointing and talking in a hushed voice. Bonnie¡¯s ears were all flattened. Her customer was a lizardkin with sleek green scales, saying that the runes weren¡¯t the ones he ordered, and were incompatible with the metal of his armor. Fiona pointed it out, and whispered, ¡°Betcha she says ¡®I needed to know the base material to make a compatible rune, and you gave me the wrong information''.¡± Ten seconds later, she said just that, and Doug nodded. ¡°Are customers always this predictable?¡± ¡°You can see the problem ones coming a mile away. But not all of them are copper pinchers. Some actually spend a lot of money. But your patience will be strained to the bleeding limit when you do so,¡± she explained. ¡°Oh? I know history, but you know people. That one, by the armor stand? The one worn by Cedric Legolin? What can you tell me about him?¡± Doug asked, as if this was a challenge, now.¡± Fiona shrugged as they walked through the aisles, and she rearranged a few items that had been moved around by customers¨Cthat was a personal peeve of her, as her eye twitched. Buying the wrong potion or wrong alchemical solution could result in an inconvenience, or seriously hurt someone. ¡°Okay, that guy? Regular customer. He works in the adventurer¡¯s guild, mid-range mission risks. He buys frequently and buys for the job he needs. He''s one of our best customers. He utilizes the payment plans and never missed a payment. He paid some stuff off early.¡± ¡°Okay. And her?¡± Doug pointed almost randomly at a woman by the far side, looking at the paintings. ¡°She¡¯s an enthusiast for paintings. She loves pictures of the seaside, and forest cottages. I mean, we have what we have, but I do plan on rotating local artistic talents once inventory is low.¡± ¡°Vair La¡¯teur is a famous artist. She gravitates to that one painting,¡± Doug pointed out. ¡°The artist''s family was killed by bandits from the Minthure hills, but she survived with a maimed hand. Yet, her works are some of the finest paintings I¡¯ve seen on this side of the continent. I think you should make that sale.¡± ¡°She''s just browsing,¡± Fiona shrugged. ¡°She just likes hanging out at the coffee booth, tips Darla generously, and is quite pleasant to talk to, for the past few days. Taking notes, actually." Doug shook his head. ¡°But she wants it. It¡¯s important to her. See if you can make a deal.¡± ¡°I find it strange that you¡¯re not as attached to this stuff, the vast majority of which, came from your hoard.¡± ¡°Collection,¡± he corrected with a snort that left a wisp of smoke coming from his nostrils. He scrunched his face, looking embarrassed. ¡°It¡¯s a collection. But, let me ask you this¡­you ever get little hints from your mark, like you should do something, even if you don¡¯t know why right away?¡± Flap. Wingding answered that question for her before she did. ¡°...You know something, Doug? Let¡¯s give it a try.¡± Vol. 2, Ch. 70: They Belong In A Museum! (Part Two) Fiona realized she didn¡¯t actually know the woman¡¯s name or her profession. She was a blonde-haired human, hair dressed up with a detailed braid down her back, just to behind her shoulder blades. She wasn¡¯t wearing jewelry but was dressed in a business vest, and dark leggings that truncated in cute boots that she wouldn¡¯t mind having on her shelf. Doug approached in tandem, smirking softly. Wingding, what do you think he knows that I don¡¯t? She pondered to her silent companion. Wingding pondered this for a moment, before flapping out a morse code. Secret. Wait. Are you keeping secrets? No. Then, what? Lady. Fiona furrowed her brow. The woman was sipping a cup of coffee, those hints of hazelnut wafting through the air, peering at the paintings¡­and a few statue busts. ¡°Greetings, welcome to the emporium!¡± she announced, and the woman glanced her way, curiosity etched on her face. ¡°I don¡¯t think I caught your name earlier.¡± ¡°Ah, Miss Swiftheart! I apologize, I¡¯ve been biding my time. Elaine Dorath, I¡¯m part of a network of the city''s various artisan guilds, and affiliated with the museum network throughout Fiefdala, and the greater Unified Kingdoms. I¡¯ve been taking note of your paintings on the wall. Are you familiar with them?¡± ¡°I am. Though, not thoroughly rehearsed. I recall you had asked about these pieces, but needed more time to think about it.¡± ¡°Correct. And, as I¡¯ve been observing the collections, and doing my research¡­I think you have a small miracle find,¡± she added with a faint smile, and gestured to a fairy tale cottage sitting near a sea bluff, the shining sea lapping below, and gulls flapping in the breeze. Fiona swore the longer she looked at, that the painting and the items in it seemed to move, or animated. But when she looked away, they were back to their static positions. She was in a world of magic. Animated paintings would not be the most surprising thing she¡¯d seen so far. ¡°I have a new expert I¡¯ve brought on board today to examine many of the items in the store. While we deal with items that adventurers use daily, we also have a large collection of items that are not as fully understood¨Chistorical-wise. This is¨C¡± She trailed off, realizing she shouldn¡¯t introduce Doug¨Cthe dragon who allegedly had been tearing up the Kingdom¨Cas a member of her staff. Doug picked up the cue instantly. ¡°Derek Kierfraag, Historian. Licensed and classed. I can provide my paperwork, upon request.¡± He offered a claw to her, and she shook it with enthusiasm. Fiona tried not to scream in outrage. Everyone is going to know it''s you, you dunce! She swore Elaine could read her mind, and she smiled. ¡°Hah, funny, you look like a tiny version of that dragon that gave us trouble a couple of months ago. Any family relation?¡± she asked. ¡°Me, being related to that guy? Nah, it''s just a coincidence. Cinder dragons and Cinder kobolds are quite common. You may also be aware that Douglas had a twin. A twin with a rather checkered history,¡± he added with a knowing smirk aimed at Fiona. Watch it, smart-arse. Let¡¯s see what you¡¯ve got before you test my patience. Fiona also shook the woman¡¯s hand and gestured to the collection. ¡°As you can see, the collection is in pristine shape. Even with the recovery from a lair. I must give thanks to the previous owner, they went to great lengths to preserve these items.¡± ¡°They did, indeed. Fire resistance, stain proof wards, he even added a protective layer to keep the paint preserved and not oxidize. Quite clever, and no alteration to the original work,¡± she added with a smile. ¡°So, Mister Kierfraag, what can you tell me about these? I¡¯d like to test your knowledge. I have worked out some of it.¡± ¡°This collection represents the finest works of Vair La¡¯teur, from her earliest days. As you might be aware, she grew up in poverty, and her family was killed by bandits. She managed to escape, but both her hands were crippled due to injuries sustained. A traveling group of healers came across her, barely alive, and they saved her. They also managed to salvage functionality in her off-hand when they nursed her to health. Though it took some time.¡± ¡°That¡¯s basic. Tell me something the average person wouldn¡¯t know,¡± the woman replied and gestured to one painting¨Cthat of a glacial carved lake, nested in a forest. ¡°What¡¯s the significance of this one?¡± ¡°Ah. That is Maradina Lake, In the Arkantine Mountains¨Cthese days, a quiet retreat of a few cottages of well-established nobility of Fiefdala. There is also a collection of cottages of those who appreciate a more down-to-Cepalune lifestyle¨Chardy folk, not a lot of gold, but memorable hospitality.¡± Doug pointed at the lake. ¡°This was painted by her, in September of 1983, when she was a traveling artist. She used to do these on commissions¨Cusually in exchange for room and board. She had a minimalist lifestyle and spent most of her currency on her art supplies, and a somewhat nomadic lifestyle. The paint was of course, basic, which is why with some of her earlier works, you¡¯ll notice the quality of the paint is an inconsistent texture, and her brushes were coarse, and not magically enhanced for flawless strokes. Even with only partial functionality, you can see the detail she placed on this early work.¡±This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it. Elaine looked on, her eyebrow raised. ¡°Quite good, at a glance. You know your history.¡± ¡°I should. I met her in 1986, she had wintered there in the mountains two years prior, and an established family had taken her in, fascinated by her work. It was about this time that she acquired her mark, and then her works became¡­absolutely sublime. Even with the lingering pain of her injury,¡± Doug explained, and Fiona¡¯s eyes widened. Did he know this artist, personally? Oh you evil dragon, you. You had a backup plan, didn''t you? The way he gave a toothy smile while Elaine browsed through the collection only confirmed her notion. ¡°That is interesting. You claim to know her?¡± Elaine asked. ¡°I can tell you that she always signed the painting twice. Once, before the canvas ever had a drop of paint applied, the second time, hidden in something subtle--foliage or wood grain, to blend in with the brushwork. For the former, she chose either the lower left, or the lower right corner. May I suggest gloves? You can''t see the primary marking, but she always puts on a faint enchantment so that you can feel it. It also will reveal the name if touched with a slight stenciling.¡± ¡°Greg, do we have gloves?¡± Fiona called out. He nodded, and quickly brought out a box of thin latex gloves that he handed to the three of them. Doug, however, had the sharpened claw presented a problem, and had to be extremely careful. ¡°Do you mind if I check first?¡± Elaine asked, looking entrained with this reveal. ¡°Not at all. Be gentle, the paint she used was prone to flaking if too much force was applied,¡± he answered. She traced the lower right corner, by a tree stump. She frowned, but then ran her finger over the lower left¨Cand stopped. ¡°There''s a raised spot. I can feel it.¡± She traced her finger over it, and there was a slight glow from the paint, ever so gently, where her finger contacted. A crisp signature appeared showing the name; La¡¯teur. Elaine¡¯s eyes widened. ¡°That¡¯s her signature. After she acquired her mark, she did this for all her paintings. Exceedingly difficult, if not impossible, to forge. I think she knew the worth of her work, even if she spent the majority of her life as a traveling painter.¡± ¡°Spring, 1985, she migrated to the Bar¡¯dathi plains. She did many works, showing the elven community and the vast expanses of the forest. The elves always built simple, but sturdy, using only natural products, and occasional stonework.¡± He gestured to a painting of a cottage on the cusp of a forest meadow, looking like it could have been a living extension of the large trees just adjacent to the rustic home. Small elven children could be seen playing in the background. ¡°She spent three years there, where she honed her craft. She learned to live on subsistence, only taking coin when needed to pay for her supplies. You¡¯ll note that she incorporated natural pigments that the elves used, from the various plants and the minerals that would be carried down the Tarsis river.¡± Elaine glanced at him, in awe. ¡°You might have me at a loss. I knew about her visits there, but not¡­not the specifics of the pigments.¡± ¡°Milkvine carries a white pigment. You wouldn''t know it unless you shone a certain mage fire light over it, where it illuminates. Historically it¡¯s been rarely used, but highly prized. But the elven tribes never took more than needed, and the Kingdom doesn¡¯t have sovereignty over the unincorporated regions. They did not want the plant to become a scarce commodity, or farmed.¡± ¡°Mister Kierfraag, do you realize this whole collection is¨C¡± ¡°Genuine? Yes. That is why Miss Swiftheart brought someone like me on board. Because I know the history best. I can tell you from my brief interaction with her almost forty years ago, that she was very kind. She didn¡¯t do any self-portraits, except for one: her last. She had ashen hair by then, her brush strokes exaggerated, tired¨Cbut her artistic talent was still sharp. Her later works were accounted for, they¡¯re in various private collections." ¡°I know. We have a small collection of her later works, including her self-portrait in the Fiefdalian Central Museum of Culture. It¡¯s on display downtown,¡± Elaine stated, amazed. ¡°A small collection. But this? This is a collection of twenty years of unrealized beauty. Forgeries have been attempted, of course, but the mark created a unique signature for her work. No one has replicated it," Doug told her, and that proudness in his voice was palpable. Like he''d always had a plan. You had a plan, didn''t you? Greg said they weren¡¯t sure of the artist, and that it might have been some other lesser-known individual making replicas¡­ Fiona realized they might be sitting on a gold mine even Barry hadn¡¯t considered. He looked at her, with a raised eyebrow. ¡°Surely, you¡¯ve noticed that no one has purchased these items, yes? They look, but always shy away,¡± Doug directed toward her. ¡°Do you know why?¡± ¡°She wanted her works shared, in the end. Something about her mark?¡± Fiona guessed. Doug nodded at this. ¡°Correct. The collection has a curious power¨Cpeople collect them, but ultimately, they end up in the hands of museums, and public displays¡­everyone eventually has a change of heart, through circumstance or personal preference. It¡¯s a subtle and fascinating power,¡± he concluded. ¡°They say no two marks are created alike, and they¡¯re right. I¡¯ve seen artists have their paintings come to life, some can summon monsters, and others can paint a garden, and harvest the most succulent greens and produce. But this one is certainly¨C¡± Elaine stood straighter, bright green eyes shining. ¡°I¡¯d like to have an independent historian examine this. If it''s genuine and I do believe it is, I¡¯d like to lease this for the museum. We have generous philanthropists and private donors who would certainly love to have this as part of the display for the public." Fiona nodded and glanced at it. This hadn¡¯t been an outcome she expected, and she smiled faintly. ¡°I¡¯d have to speak to my partners on this. We¡¯ve never had a situation where a cultural institute would be interested in a display like this. The paintings and other artifacts haven¡¯t moved as much as the adventurer¡¯s gear.¡± She motioned to Greg, who nodded. ¡°What do you think, can we put in some paperwork for this one?¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure we can arrange that, with a small lease to put the items on public display,¡± he replied, and peered at the displays. ¡°But, which one¨C¡± ¡°All of them.¡± All eyes stared at Elaine, looking confident. " I can convince the higher-ups to take the whole collection." Wingding gave her a silent Morse code, and a flood of delight hit her: Cha-ching. Vol. 2, Ch. 71: They Belong In A Museum! (Part Three) Fiona was at a loss. Just how much was this collection worth? The fact that Doug was wearing the biggest, toothiest grin in his tiny existence, told her one thing: This dragon clearly had been planning a big-brain move. And he¡¯d done it before he¡¯d ever set claw in the city. ¡°Mister Kierfraag, may I see you for a moment? I need to run something by you. In my office.¡± ¡°Yes, we need to discuss a few things. Such as paperwork,¡± Greg offered stiffly, but he was wearing possibly the most revealing smile she¡¯d seen on him in a while, before he turned to Elaine. ¡°I¡¯ll have Darla fix you up with lunch. On the house, this won¡¯t take but a moment.¡± ¡°Oh, take your time! It sounds like you may not have realized what you had on your hands!¡± Elaine beamed. ¡°This is why we brought in a consultant, he¡¯s very familiar with such items. As you well know, famous artifacts, artists, and other curios do get replicated from time to time, and we take authenticity very seriously,¡± Greg offered, before tilting his head to the room in the back. ¡°Kali, keep an eye on the kiosk?¡± ¡°You got it, Greg!¡± He clucked, having risen from his monitor station and quickly assumed the role. Fiona walked in a way that conveyed impatience, without actually saying it, and as soon as Greg and Doug were in the room, she clicked the door shut. ¡°You knew.¡± She felt that Doug had a plan, and this was his in. ¡°You kept this in your back pocket without telling us.¡± ¡°Of course I did. You weren¡¯t apt to trust me otherwise,¡± he snorted. "Most people see the La''teur''s and think it''s a replica. It is one of the most commonly replicated painting sets around. When a legit find like this comes up, it''s often undiscovered for a while." Fiona tapped her foot patiently, while Doug let out a soft sigh. He knew that he evaded the question. ¡°I also capitalized on an opportunity that intersects with several mutual interests. I have made many ¡®big brain¡¯ moves in my life, that''s why I¡¯ve always bounced back when Karlin takes a wrecking ball to things. Though I can¡¯t predict his every move.¡± ¡°What¡¯s your angle? No wait, let me guess, to preserve your ¡®treasure¡¯ in a place you know that it won¡¯t disappear from!¡± She felt her ears twitching at this dragon¡¯s power move. ¡°Well, yes. Also, do you have any idea how much you can make a month from leasing a collection of this caliber? Barry¡¯s idiots have no idea what you had!¡± He looked proud of that statement, and folded his arms, leaning in. His snout practically touched the desk, due to his relative low stature. ¡°Fiefdala¡¯s arts and culture are one of its biggest selling points! Also gold, but that¡¯s another topic. Tourism and cultural centers are big money!¡± She tapped her foot impatiently, feeling a harumph building. ¡°Did you tip off Elaine that this was here?¡± ¡°How could he? He just got into town, and she¡¯s visited the shop at least a few times in the past week,¡± Greg pointed out. ¡°You could just be honest about it, Douglas.¡± The miniature dragon let out a soft sigh. ¡°You¡¯re right, I can. I held onto that collection and had occasional tours come through my lair¨Cbefore the fiasco when Karlin came a-wrecking. Luckily my brother doesn¡¯t have any appreciation for the finer arts, or he might have burned them where they were stored or sold them. I¡¯d rather they be someplace safe, out of his hands, and where I can take in the sights as a visitor.¡± ¡°Did you actually meet La¡¯teur?¡± Fiona stated with an edge to her voice. He nodded solemnly. ¡°I did. I knew she had talent, but didn''t know all her history at the time. That first painting, the one in the Arkantine Mountains? I fibbed a bit. I commissioned it after I saw her talent on display when I was passing through the area as a guest. The Vernis family that housed her that winter were friends of mine. Still are. I was prepared to offer five hundred gold¡­but she only took about a hundred and fifty, for her supplies, time, and a few travel expenses.¡± ¡°She was known for her frugal living. I remember that from my classes,¡± Greg chimed in. ¡°The question is, what do we charge for this? Technically it¡¯s a lease, per month.¡± Then, it hit her, as Fiona grinned. ¡°And, the valuation of that treasure drops to zero if it¡¯s used for humanitarian efforts, like this. Income derived from it, as long as it''s used for business purposes, can be deductible on my tax forms.¡± ¡°Pfft. That¡¯s a bonus,¡± Doug scoffed. ¡°Mister Lockheed, I have a good feel for the inventory, and how much you make based on my business sense. With these line items on the forms¡­I do believe we can make a power move and pay off the remaining tax debt. And file a formal complaint that Miss Swiftheart was defrauded. Also, technically me, but I can¡¯t go spreading my name around just yet.¡± ¡°Ugh. Just because you pulled this off, doesn¡¯t mean we¡¯re even yet.¡± Doug had outsmarted a lot of people just now, including her. ¡°Oh? How about a scene where Barry flips his shit when he realizes he¡¯s about to lose control over you, with nothing to hang over your head?¡±Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there. She raised an eyebrow at that. ¡°That puts you marginally closer. But you also tried to set me on fire. Once.¡± ¡°Oh get over yourself woman, if I wanted a flamb¨¦ elf, it would have happened,¡± he stated with a twitch of his snout. She opened her mouth to retort, then thought better of it. He had just helped her pull off a major victory against Barry. ¡°So, you score a win for the store, but your ulterior motive is watching Barry squirm, isn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°It¡¯s a win for the arts, technically. The value of a collection¨Cand the interest of people who love art¨Conly grows when more pieces are in the hands of the proper curators. Also yes, I do enjoy watching that brat squirm,¡± he added with a predatory grin, and clapped his claws together. ¡°Suck it, Barrimeth.¡± ¡°Once a dragon, always a dragon,¡± Greg stated deadpan. ¡°Admit it, you love the brilliance of it,¡± Doug retorted, unwilling to wipe the grin off his face. But this time, it was Fiona¡¯s turn to have a bold move in mind. One that she would particularly enjoy. ¡°Hey Greg, remember that theoretical I gave you a couple of weeks ago? When I asked what ¡®standard payment¡¯ was to the tax office?¡± Greg frowned. ¡°I do. But, why would you ever want to do that?¡± ¡°Rough count, taking the leasing of the arts, and our predicted income, what¡¯s our total installment payment look like?" He furrowed his brow in response. "Roughly...a hundred and thirty thousand. I can''t recall the exact number." ¡°First, let''s get this sale underway, and set up the details. Greg, you¡¯re on the numbers. Doug, keep smooth talking.¡± She pondered something else for a moment. ¡°Does your power give you all that information that you spelled out?¡± ¡°I have to fish for it, sometimes. Items with history--changing hands, significant cultural impact, use in war¨Call leave their mark, some bigger than others. I do have to do proper research at times,¡± he admitted. ¡°I¡¯m not omniscient. But I do know a lot.¡± Five minutes later, Fiona was shaking hands with Elaine, and Greg had drawn up an initial contract, that they would be in touch, and would work on the transportation of the collection. There were also a few other technical arrangements with the city. Fiona waved her out the door, the late afternoon sun slowly sinking¨Cthe snow squalls had faded earlier on, and the thin dusting of snow was scattering in the wind. But Elaine stopped by the steps, turned, and smiled at Fiona. ¡°Got a second, before I go?¡± ¡°Sure, what¡¯s up?¡± She held her business coat a little tighter against the bitter cold, and Elaine¡¯s hair danced in the wind. ¡°You know, I couldn¡¯t help but notice your associate seemed intimately familiar with those works. Even with what I know of a properly trained historian,¡± she stated, a crease of a smile emerging, and Fiona nodded. ¡°He¡¯s¡­good at what he does.¡± ¡°Uh-huh.¡± She smiled faintly at that, hand rubbing along the side of her face¨Cand not to push her hair away from her eyes. ¡°Miss Swiftheart? If I might ask¡­a lot of people choose their careers, and classes, out of a passion. What is yours, exactly?¡± ¡°Selling stuff,¡± she shrugged. Elaine shook her head. ¡°I think it¡¯s far deeper than that. What drives you?¡± Why am I having this conversation? Why does she sound like my ex-girlfriend? Questions echoed in her head, like they hadn¡¯t in a long time. Fiona, why are you curating this run-down store for an old lady? Just go put in your twenty years and retire in the military. Fiona, c¡¯mon, it¡¯s party time, you can skip out on this place, it¡¯s dead on a Friday night! Fiona, you need to choose between me, and this run down store that you seem dead-set on preserving, for a bunch of old people who have no appreciation for what you do! She bit her lip gently as all those dead echoes ran through her mind. ¡°I don¡¯t know, Elaine. I picked a career of convenience to just¡­just¡­¡± ¡°Avoid having to make hard choices?¡± she suggested, that brightness fading from her expression. ¡°You know, I¡¯ve seen that look on people when I ask them that question. It¡¯s not uncommon for people to freeze up like that. But, I can tell, you are dedicated to one thing, Miss Swiftheart.¡± ¡°What¡¯s that, exactly? I am¡­pretty good at figuring out what people want, on that front,¡± she answered slowly. Elaine nodded. ¡°I take that back, I think you¡¯re close to the mark¡­and with one difference, from my point of view. You¡¯re good at uniting people, with the things and people they need in their life,¡± she finished with a polite nod, and a handshake. ¡°Thank you, Miss Swiftheart. I look forward to seeing you again.¡± ¡°Same. Drop by anytime!¡± The cheer instantly returned to her, and she watched Elaine hail a steam automaton that was nearby, the driver already dismounting to let her in the passenger door. ¡°Oh, one more thing, Miss Swiftheart!¡± Elaine called out, hesitating at the open door with one hand on the frame. ¡°Okay, what¡¯s up?¡± Please tell me you¡¯re short a dinner date, and you have a reservation for two somewhere¨C ¡°I hope you find what you¡¯re looking for. The hardest thing of all, for a merchant dealing in fortunes of heart? Is finding your own.¡± The carriage door slammed closed, and Fiona was left standing by the steps, her mouth agape, and her arms slack from that closing line. What the hell? Does she know?! She hadn¡¯t been advertising her class, and she hoped it was just a fluke of circumstances. She glanced down at Wingding, currently doing figure eights with her wings on her wrist, and sending out a code message to her. ¡°Wingding, did she see you?¡± her winged mark hesitated, before sending out a very cryptic message. Sees beyond sight. She stared at Wingding. ¡°Girl, I think you know more things than I do. When did you get all grown up?¡± ¡°Uh¡­are you talking to your mark?¡± She snapped her wrist to her side and tried to look composed when Doug, Bonnie, and Greg came out of the front door. Doug looked concerned by this. ¡°Is that not a thing around here?¡± she asked casually, smiling anxiously. ¡°No, Fiona. It isn¡¯t,¡± Greg replied dryly, before switching topics with a faint smile. ¡°With the numbers we discussed, I believe it¡¯s time to force Barry¡¯s hand. Your ¡®power move¡¯ as you called it. Are you really going to do this?¡± She clapped her hands together and grinned evilly, relishing in this moment of payback that was going on two months later. ¡°Let me tell you something, Greg. There¡¯s a little tradition from Earth that was ingrained in the culture. There is nothing more sweet when taking revenge on a total douchebag than weaponized pettiness,¡± she added with a slow cackle while rubbing her hands together. ¡°Oh, I so need to be there when you do this,¡± Doug smiled. ¡°Oh, you¡¯ve earned the right to witness this one in person, on account of today. It¡¯s gonna be epic.¡± Vol. 2, Ch. 72: Matchmaking, Or Lighting A Match? Fiona rested her chin on the counter, irritable and moody. The late fall snow was, of course, slowing down foot traffic into the store, to an extent. Fat, lazy snowflakes drifted outside. Greg was ever the gentleman and kept the walkway clear of snow with a notebook-inspired paper shovel. Which strangely, didn¡¯t get sopping wet. He had a cool power set, even if he didn¡¯t showcase it very often. An elderly couple greeted him politely with a wave and a smile before coming inside, brushing off the snow. Bonnie already had an enchantment to dry the sopping wetness before it became a slip hazard, with a mechanical device running on arcane power. She also forgot to walk around it, and her fur was frazzled in every direction. She looked distinctly nonplussed about it, but still waved to the couple now looking at the just-in baked goods for the morning. Doug also helped with a low-level blast of soothing heat, and a gentle aeration of the room with his wings. It was almost adorable, with the way people thanked him, though he would only grumble a ¡®You¡¯re welcome¡¯ now and then. Kali sat by the counter, running the register after she¡¯d given him instructions. ¡°Boss¨CI mean uh, Fiona, you look down. What¡¯s up?¡± ¡°Eh, it¡¯s complicated,¡± she grumbled. She lifted her head to give a customer a wave, before turning to the avian teen, now counting the tills. ¡°All set?¡± ¡°I believe we have the correct count, yes.¡± He ran through it seemingly memorized, with no hesitation. ¡°Gold transfers using arcanist cards are preferred, cash we change out once we hit five hundred or more in the register. We deposit into the time lock safe in the back every four hours, or more, depending on traffic.¡± His scalp feathers ruffled a little as he held his hand hesitantly over the register buttons. ¡°Uh, what else? I think I¡¯m forgetting something. I¡¯ve done this enough times, I should know it.¡± ¡°If someone breaks change, hold onto the coin they give first. There¡¯s a racket where they¡¯ll try to add coins to throw off your count. Classic scam.¡± Her mood broke a little bit as Kali nodded, and smoothed his feathers, looking composed. An elderly couple came to the counter after a brief run, to grab the delicious croissants that Darla had gotten fresh this morning. She watched Kali greet them with a smile, rang up the bill, and followed instructions correctly. But he was missing something. ¡°What¡¯s the last part?¡± she asked. ¡°Uh¡­I missed something?¡± ¡°The receipts.¡± She pointed to the faint trace of mana darkening into letters and numbers on the tiny, tightly round scroll coming out of the cashier. ¡°We keep the records, Greg tallies and indexes them. What I wouldn¡¯t do for an Excel spreadsheet, but the arcanist pads are all we have for now. They work well enough.¡± ¡°Oh! I¡¯m supposed to¡­¡± he opened the till, took the completed notes, and put them in before securing it closed. ¡°Sorry, I missed that step.¡± ¡°Nah, you¡¯re doing fine. I figured we have security well covered, I wanted you to learn something new.¡± She leaned back on the counter, smiling faintly as a young pair of teens walked in, a long-haired boy and a short-haired girl, giggling and brushing snow off of each other. Bonnie¡¯s enchantment left them with their hair askew, but they laughed it off. ¡°Hey, Fi, you got that elvish mischief look.¡± Kali leaned in, beak pressed into a smirk, and attentive eyes focused on the pair, who browsed through the shelves. ¡°You know, there are advantages to colder, snowier days. The people that come in, stay longer, to avoid going back out. You said it yourself. People who stay long enough, become paying customers. Right?¡± ¡°Oh, you were paying attention to my ramblings, were you?¡± She let out a contented sigh before focusing on him. ¡°Kinda weird how some things don¡¯t change, between worlds.¡± ¡°Or, above or below ground.¡± Darla sauntered over, a cup of coffee in each hand¨Cand one on her tail, that she delicately handed to Fiona. She smoothed her apron and adjusted her tie, looking sharp and sweet, her hair draped partially over her face. She handed the second mug to Kali, who took a sip. ¡°Hmm. Am I feeding a bad habit by giving our energetic avian caffeine?¡± she mused, her tail swaying slowly and curling like the smoke from a campfire. ¡°Pssh. Let the young bird get a taste of the subtle things of life,¡± she responded with a sly smile. Kali had no issues with the hot beverage, eyes slightly dilated after a minute. He let out a slight squawk of excitement. ¡°Yes, please! I¡¯ll have more of that!¡± Darla laughed heartily at Kali¡¯s enthusiastic response, and Fiona cracked a smile. too. ¡°You have no idea what it¡¯s like to live in a crap-sack orphanage for a good chunk of your life. The food is terrible. The staff is decent, at least, and it¡¯s a place to rest my head at night.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure they¡¯re enthusiastic that I¡¯m teaching you something useful,¡± Fiona posed, while taking a sip of the coffee, delighted to find a hint of elfberry notes, with a dash of cream and mint. Darla knew what she liked, better than she did, in retrospect. ¡°Hey, uh, if you don¡¯t mind me asking something, Kali? I know things have been busy since you started, but¡­¡± ¡°You wanna know how I ended up there?¡± He picked up on her intended query quickly, his voice no longer cheery. ¡°There¡¯s not much to tell. My mom and dad came from Vale. It was during one of the power struggles after Greybeard laid waste to the slave houses, years later. I don¡¯t blame him, personally. He did the right thing, defending his Kingdom and people against that kind of incursion. They always had more waves of slave soldiers to throw at problems. But, it¡¯s a repeating cycle. As soon as they lick their wounds, they¡¯re back at it, and tormenting their citizens.¡± ¡°So, they were alive, when¨C¡± ¡°Yeah. But Vale tends to track down escapees. The slave houses will go to extreme lengths to ensure no one gets a happy ending.¡± He rubbed the coffee mug with his free hand, as if the warmth could soothe that icy chill emanating from him. ¡°My parents, uh¡­got jumped by muggers. Officially. Unofficially, they got the ultimate punishment for daring to dream of freedom.¡±Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original. ¡°And Barry wants to make a deal with that country.¡± She gripped her mug tightly, her teeth clenched tightly. ¡°Lucy knows it¡¯s a bad idea, and is willing to let me burn her brother on this front. Even Rikkard expressed hesitation on this one. There¡¯s something else going on. I can feel it.¡± ¡°Lucy cares about this country, and she¡¯s worried about her brother making a really bad choice. I doubt Greybeard approves of his son doing this.¡± Fiona shakes her head, the taste of coffee in her mouth turning bitter. ¡°He doesn¡¯t. Barry is one screw-up away from his father yanking back that throne from him. I just worry what that screw-up will be, and what it will cost everyone. I really wonder what his angle is. We¡¯re going to the tax office in a few days to ¡®officially¡¯ pay off every copper I owe. The math is going to be close.¡± ¡°You could take care of that problem the easy way, you know. You¡¯re a hero, Fiona. You beat up dragons, lay waste to monsters¨C¡± she put a hand up to halt Kali. ¡°Fiona, why won¡¯t you do that anymore?¡± ¡°Because I think we have more than one player in the field looking to wreck Fiefdala. There¡¯s always more than one guy, like all my movies and books tell me! Dealing with Barry that way, while likely a lot of self-indulgent fun, will earn the ire of countless guards¨Cand probably won¡¯t get all of them. The more we dig, the more we find something rotten.¡± Darla took the moment to put up a soft hand wave. ¡°Hey, it isn¡¯t all shadows and gloom out there, you know. Despite our prickly appearance, the darklings have a networked kingdom that, by and by, runs pretty normal. So do the Unifed Kingdoms. Vale is an outlier that no one quite frankly wants to deal with. Maybe with some trade and peaceful relations, and the slave houses in disarray, there might be a chance to put someone in power there that will make it better for many people.¡± ¡°Except, someone did take power there recently. I hope it¡¯s not someone from Earth. It would be¡­¡± Fiona trailed off, concerned at the implication. ¡°It would be awful to find a fellow survivor, only to see they¡¯re busy repeating history, tearing lives apart. Darla, real talk, my world dealt with slavery a long time ago, though some forms of it persisted. At least, without chains you could easily see. Greybeard must think there¡¯s hope, or he¡¯d throw Barry¡¯s ass out of the throne in a heartbeat.¡± ¡°You know, you could just take the throne. I love the idea of having a ruler named Queen Swiftheart,¡± Darla egged on, all sharp teeth and smiles. ¡°That would be more work than the store!¡± She harumphed to make her point clear. Even Kali jumped on it, beak creasing into a smirk. ¡°All hail our future ginger-haired, feisty elven ruler! Ya know if you were dating Lucy¨C¡± Fiona laughed and slapped her hand on the counter for emphasis. ¡°Kali, pretty sure monarchy doesn¡¯t work like that! Lucy hates the throne! She¡¯d rather dump it on Edward. Hell, even Dave might be a decent choice, now that¡¯s back in mage school. I need way less drama, and something a little less anxiety-inducing! Like a date. I haven¡¯t been on one in forever!¡± ¡°Ahem,¡± Darla coughed, her eyes little slits of golden light. ¡°Tell boy toy that you know a crazy redhead elf, and that she¡¯d be a package deal,¡± Fiona grinned evilly. ¡°I worry that he might go for that,¡± Darla grinned as she leaned into the idea. Kali gulped beside them. ¡°And that would be the last of boy toy. They¡¯d find him torn in half by morning.¡± Fiona relented and gave the poor boy a break. ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m not that kind of girl. I only date one person at a time. You know what bothers me slightly? The last guy I dated, chose to run off with the dragon who tried to eat him.¡± ¡°Called it!¡± Doug stated from across the room, one claw saluted in the air. ¡°Just because you were right, doesn¡¯t make it cool to boast about it!¡± She shot a glare at the kobold, who just couldn¡¯t stop looking cocksure. Darla¡¯s edged smile turned into a frown. ¡°Seriously, I highly question wanting to date someone who tried to eat you. That sounds¡­unsettling.¡± ¡°Billy apparently had no hesitation. Alright, the point is, I need a date! I doubt they have Tinder here on Cepalune, so, I need to like, know people, who know people, and so on. You know that lady Elaine who is going to put the whole La¡¯teur section on display? She had that vibe.¡± ¡°You¡¯re a flirt with everyone,¡± Darla pointed out. Fiona waved her hand lazily. ¡°Not true! There¡¯s being a flirt, and testing people¡¯s reaction! I don''t know, maybe I¡¯m a teeny, tiny bit anxious about what would happen if I started dating Lucy, and she definitely gives off that feeling she would like that. Except Barry¡¯s tiny little blonde head might explode if I did.¡± ¡°This would be a bad thing¡­why?¡± Darla posed with an arched eyebrow. ¡°Dead enemies can¡¯t be humiliated and taught the error of their ways,¡± she stated with a twitch of her ear. Darla rubbed at one horn errantly, before she made a low sound of surprise. ¡°Hey, Fiona? I know a guy. He¡¯s a little shy, super smart, and very single. You might like him.¡± ¡°That sounds suspiciously like Greg, and there¡¯s a cute vixen who cozies up next to him,¡± Fiona retorted, even as she failed to hide a smile. ¡°Sorry Darla, that one isn¡¯t happening.¡± ¡°Oh no, I had someone else in mind.¡± She flashed a glance in Doug¡¯s direction. Fiona gave her the glare of death. ¡°I¡¯d rather get roasted by Doug than date him.¡± ¡°Nah. I was making sure he wasn¡¯t scaring off people. Quite the opposite.¡± Two children, a boy and a girl, tapped his tail and ran off, and he let out a startled protest, and snarled at them with shiny teeth. They did nothing but giggle, and he shot them a glare while they scurried back to their father, currently browsing by the potions and giving his kids what Fiona called ¡®the parent petrification gaze¡¯ where their antics stopped the second they made eye contact. Fiona pursed her lips. ¡°You really think I could ever date Doug? We tolerate each other, at best, because we have a shared nemesis. Or nemeses? I think that¡¯s the plural?¡± she pondered aloud, before giving a dismissive wave. ¡°You were thinking of someone else though, right?¡± ¡°Look, just say you¡¯ll give the guy a chance first, and not overwhelm him with your manic elven energy, please?¡± Darla did that smoldering look and a slight kissy face, while Fiona tapped a finger on her arm. ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll give it a go. Who and when?¡± ¡°Tomorrow, six-thirty, after work.¡± ¡°Awesome!¡± Fiona declared with a cheer, and Darla gave a nod. ¡°Five gold says he runs away screaming,¡± Kali chuckled. ¡°I¡¯ll take that wager, and double it,¡± Greg leaned in after finishing with a customer. She narrowed her eyes at him. ¡°No gambling in the store, Greg. He¡¯s young and impressionable, and we must not corrupt him more than is reasonably necessary for him to soar through life.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not on the rule board, Fiona,¡± Greg said with a chuckle. ¡°You already had to cross one out.¡± Her eyes wandered to the sign, where she¡¯d crossed out ¡®No dragons with pretentious titles¡¯. ¡°Rules change,¡± she growled. ¡°Oh, by all means, they do. Now, I do have one question for you, Miss Swiftheart,¡± he asked, folding his arms and looking smug. ¡°What are you wearing to this date?¡± She opened her mouth to speak, and it sounded like a sand-choked pipe of her voice. She felt her internal panic machine kick-start. He¡¯d asked the forbidden question. She had nothing to wear for this blind date. Announcement: The Hallowed World Is now LIVE! I wanted to give a lot of thanks to my recurring readers. You guys have made it possible for me to learn from every story I launch, so that each one propels further and further from where I started. My first story, The Legend of the Luminaires, was my initial foray into serial writing, and was a story that harkened to my childhood--built on the backs of coming-of-age movies like The Goonies and Stand By Me, with a more than a little inspiration taken from the original Dragonlance trilogy, and given an modern uplift, aiming high for deep characters and a world filled with lore and secrets. Heroine stemmed from me wanting to write something far more cozy than Luminaires, but with those deep character profiles that I love writing. In essence, Hallowed World is a spiritual successor to The Legend of the Luminaires, with a focus on an isekaied engineer, in search of his sister on a hollowed world, far from ours, and filled with epic battles, mysteries, secrets, and those moments that punch in the feels. . You may see a few familiar things pop up, from time to time! Go check it out today, guys! Let''s make this one soar! It''s one part progression fantasy isekai, one part crafting, one part adventure in a fragmented world!
The Hallowed World [Isekai, Crafting, Progression Fantasy]Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. He had to grow wings, to soar into the depths to save those he cared about... Shawn was an emerging engineer climbing from a rough upbringing before a portal dragged him and his friend away from Earth. He was told by the Radiant who summoned him that they would save the world. Except, his summoner just used the last of her divinity to get them here, and they''re outmatched against her insidious, power-hungry brother. He commands an army of zealots, determined to make the world whole, or shatter what¡¯s left of the hollow planet to pieces. But Shawn has a mission of his own, to find his sister stolen away and brought here to this realm of gods, magic, and monsters. He makes a deal to help his depowered summoner, in exchange for helping launch a rescue mission, and imbues a dangerous power into himself, to fight a living god. Armed with the powers of ice, fire and force, and his engineering know-how, he has his work cut out for him. He''ll equip his friends with cutting-edge weapons and equipment inspired by Earth technology to give them the edge they need, and jump-start a magitech revolution. Shawn and his allies will delve deep into this nested realm of monsters, mysteries, and secrets, toward the core world in their efforts to confront a tyrant deity¡­ ...And save the ones that matter most... Take flight into the depths of Remaria¡­ What to expect:
  • A fantasy isekai adventure into a fractured world, with detailed worldbuilding and complex characters.
  • Adventure, slice-of-life, crafting, and intertwined personal quests for the main cast as they face the dangers of this world together.
  • Progression elements are more than numbers--allies will bond, powers will grow and be trained, and tech will advance.
  • Violence and danger are lurking elements in Remaria, as are the mysteries and secrets buried within the depths of the world.
  • Rating: PG-13. There''s violence, the heroes have old wounds in their past, and some language. Expect some sensual content of a non-explicit kind down the line.
  • This story is a somewhat slow burn. The characters will keep progressing, as will the dangers they face.
Vol. 2, Ch. 73: In Which A Merchant Goes On A Date, And Finds A Mystery ¡°No. No. No. Dear Fates, was I drunk when I bought this?¡± Fiona was trying her best to keep her cool, while Bonnie was busy trying to slow her down in her walk-in closet. A stack of dresses, armor, cute shirts and matching leggings were also stacked up in an increasingly large pile, and Fiona was fuming. ¡°Why did I do this? Why did I commit to a date? I¡¯m about to land a giant dose of humiliation on that pasty-faced dweeb in the palace! I have nothing to wear!¡± Bonnie remained unconvinced, her hat now sitting hung up on a stand and her ears were flattened. ¡°Girl, you take on monsters, a douchebag king, a possibly traumatic transmigration event to get to Cepaluna, and I have never seen you panic. You are panicking, which is, quite honestly, something I didn¡¯t expect to see.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not panicking!¡± She said it a little too loudly, and a little too high strung. Bonnie wore a wry smirk on her muzzle. ¡°Well I found your one weakness, Fi. Blind dates!¡± She rubbed her clawed hands together, even as she peered at the various outfits lining the shelf. ¡°Now, let me tell you, I¡¯ve done a blind date exactly once. It wasn¡¯t that bad!¡± ¡°Wait, you have? Who?¡± Fiona asked while she looked at a salmon colored dress with a low back, and a shawl to accommodate it. She frowned at it and threw it into the reject pile, and let out a sigh. ¡°Too much red. My hair is so red! I can¡¯t wear red with red!¡± ¡°You have the reddest hair I¡¯ve ever seen,¡± Bonnie chuckled. ¡°You said you were very plain looking before.¡± ¡°I kept the green eyes and the facial features. I still look like a dead ringer for my mom, mostly,¡± she explained, and looked warily at a dress with a front opening that plunged further down than she was brave enough to wear. ¡°I was also as flat as a washboard, and I tended to uh¡­slip out of dresses.¡± Bonnie glanced down and sighed contentedly, then looked back at her with a warm smile. ¡°Girl, you¡¯re fine! You¡¯re a mean, lean, fighting machine! Besides, I prefer when people appreciate me more for my luxurious red fur and athletics, rather than any other assets!¡± ¡°You mean, like your hat?¡± Fiona said with a smirk. ¡°Sure, Fiona. The hat is the biggest asset,¡± Bonnie laughed, and put a finger up in the air as if an idea struck her. ¡°You should wear one!¡± ¡°Yeah, nah. This hair has a mind of its own, Bonnie.¡± She pushed a few wavy strands out of her face and eyed another dress-bright green, and more modest. ¡°Ooh. I like this one! Green to match the eyes!¡± ¡°And with that shawl, and these shoes¡­¡± Bonnie trailed off, her tail wagging back and forth as she browsed through the accessories, before coming back with a set. Fiona let out a sound of disgust. ¡°No, I hate those shoes. I feel like I¡¯m standing on stilts, and I¡¯m no longer short, thanks.¡± ¡°Sheesh, what other upgrades did you get on your trip to Cepalune?¡± Bonnie asked. ¡°I mean I became an elf. What¡¯s not to love?¡± Fiona shrugged. ¡°But what¡¯s weird is that I¡¯m still mostly myself. So I didn¡¯t have an existential crisis. What if I woke up as a lizard?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t let Jarl hear that,¡± Bonnie cautioned, ¡°or the lovely wife of his who treats you like an adopted daughter!¡± ¡°Alright, fine, a slime girl, then!¡± Fiona huffed, then frowned, and glanced at Wingding. An idea came to mind. A very strange idea. ¡°What if I became an elf, because Feo¡¯thari was an elven goddess?¡± ¡°Uh¡­what?¡± Bonne scratched an ear as she rummaged for another set of shoes. ¡°Fiona, you have to focus on your date.¡± ¡°Okay, okay, fine. I can multitask, Bonnie.¡± ¡°Not with the way you¡¯re freaking out about not having anything to wear. I might have to go talk to Greg about putting you into a panic mode over a question no man should ever ask a lady,¡± Bonnie fumed. She browsed through the shoes while Fiona went through the pile of discarded clothes. After a second glance through, she twisted her lip into a smile. ¡°Hey, what about this cute green shirt and this jacket?¡± ¡°Hmm. Let me look.¡± Bonnie¡¯s blue eyes gleamed with delight as she grabbed another pair of shoes, with a shorter heel, and something that Fiona could stand to have more of in her closet. If only she wasn¡¯t watching her spending, so that Barry didn¡¯t find out her days of being a spendthrift were slowly fading. She looked at the shoes Bonnie wagged back and forth gently. ¡°Sold, to the lovely vixen with better fashion taste than me!¡± ¡°So, did Darla hint at who it is?¡± Fiona shook her head, while she got the shirt, jacket, and skirt on, plus some leggings since the temperature was getting downright chilly in the evenings. ¡°Not a peep from our darling darkling. I hope it¡¯s not someone I know.¡± Bonnie scoffed at that. ¡°Fi, you¡¯ve made the biggest splash this side of Cepalune with some of your heroics! And then you opened a store to great fanfare, along with myself and Greg! I¡¯m pretty sure people are going to know you.¡± ¡°Yes! From ye old newsprints, but not the real me!¡± she added with a tap on her chest for emphasis. It felt weird to get anxious about something like this. Billy had been a mutual acquaintance she¡¯d met at the guild, and then one dragon snacking session later, she was single again. He¡¯d run off with the dragon who¡¯d tried to kill him! He must have been lying about it to save face, and the thought left her ears twitching at this simmering anger. ¡°I just want people to see me as Fiona, the weird shopkeeper who¡¯s fun to be around! Or Fiona, the taxman¡¯s nemesis! Or just Fiona, the girl who likes to bake cupcakes.¡± ¡°You bake?¡±Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on. ¡°You know it! Not as good as Darla, but I bake!¡± she said proudly, after affixing the jacket, and buttoning it up to look stylish. One trip to the vanity and brushing her hair back, and a little bit of lipgloss, and she grinned. ¡°Now I know how to cook!¡± ¡°Oh my gods, Fiona,¡± Bonnie groaned, while also trying to not giggle, ¡°If Earth isn¡¯t a smoldering heap of wreckage, I¡¯ll take a dozen more of you! This action may or may not result in Barry having a seizure.¡± ¡°You should come with Greg!¡± Fiona suggested, and Bonnie froze. ¡°W-what, like a double date?¡± ¡°Well, yeah!¡± ¡°Uh¡­¡±Bonnie pondered it for a second, putting a finger to her lips. ¡°Tell ya what, get this guy to survive round one, and then we¡¯ll do that.¡± ****** ****** You have got to be kidding me. It¡¯s like you know my favorite places before I do, Fiona thought with a beaming smile as she spied the place where Darla told her to meet¨Ca place just like Jarl¡¯s, but with a more European feel, with a warm color palette, and the smell of freshly cooked fish and fried tubers. Fish and chips. She didn¡¯t realize how much she missed that tantalizing scent as she walked in the door and approached the hostess at the counter, a wolven with short grey fur, a few adorable piercings in both ears, and golden eyes. She gave her a smile and nodded politely. ¡°Welcome to the Grill on the Lake. Do you have a reservation?¡± ¡°Uh, I¡¯m supposed to meet someone. It¡¯s a blind date, my friend Darla arranged it,¡± she asked as she twisted her purse around her wrist gently. It was a date. She¡¯d been on dates. Why was she feeling so anxious about this? Was it because she wasn¡¯t with her normal crew of friends and business partners? She still couldn¡¯t quite get a read on the why. Jitters were normal. The hostess thumbed through a paper list and tapped it gently. ¡°Ah, Miss Swiftheart, right? Table fifteen, over on the right. I guess the other person hasn¡¯t shown up yet. I didn¡¯t get a name, just a table number for reservation.¡± ¡°Alright, no worries! I¡¯m a little early, so, it¡¯s all good!¡± The hostess led the anxious elf to her table, where a small basket of seasoned breadsticks was already there, with a helping of butter. Fifteen minutes later, the basket was gone, and Fiona wasn¡¯t in any less of a snacky mood, while she looked at her arcane relay. This guy was now fashionably late. Another five minutes, and he was going to be late, late. She hoped this guy didn¡¯t figure out the hero of Fiefdala was her date. Then again, it wouldn¡¯t be hard to deduct, if he knew Darla and who she worked with on a routine basis. It was somewhat ironic that now she wanted a modicum of obscurity when everything else in her life was the exact opposite. Make up mind. Wingding had chimed in with her message, and Fiona rolled her eyes. ¡°Yep, it¡¯s official. My teenage mark is calling me out for mixed feelings,¡± she muttered. She glanced at the fancy booth that was uncomfortably empty, and she was surprised no one had picked her out, yet. At least Darla had described the guy. She told her he was a semi-regular at the shop, but didn¡¯t know his last name, and that he had black hair, green eyes, and a slender face. She wasn¡¯t disappointed when he strolled up a minute later, and was adorkably overdressed, with a jacket and a tie. Not as fashionable as her ties, but close enough that she couldn¡¯t help but feel flattered. ¡°Greetings¨C¡± he trailed off, and his eyes went wide, hand frozen mid-motion. ¡°Uh¡­I think I¡¯m at the wrong restaurant.¡± ¡°What gave you that indication?¡± she asked coyly while twirling her hair around a finger. ¡°The notion that the hero of Fiefdala was my dinner date, might have been a clue¡± He quickly snapped out of his trance and finished extending his hand, an anxious smile crossing his face. ¡°I¡¯m Theo Rovarin. I work with one of the banks down over at Hall Street.¡± ¡°Not my bank, right?¡± She still hadn¡¯t forgiven them for nearly locking her account out, and likely under orders from Barry, or one of his patsies. ¡°No, I work with one of the banks that runs exchanges throughout the Unified Kingdoms and several other large territories. We¡¯re quite big, North Cepalune Financial Strategies. We deal in¨Cah, listen to me talk about work, we¡¯re on a date,¡± he sighed, and ran his fingers through his wavy hair ¡°Been a while, huh?¡± she teased and motioned for him to sit down. ¡°So, how¡¯d you meet Darla?¡± ¡°Well I¡¯m a sucker for coffee, and Darla¡¯s has the best around. She¡¯s got a new girl covering her primary shop, and I think she just opened up in your emporium. I think I only dropped by a time or two. Anyway, I go a few times a week, head to work, sometimes indulge, and grab one in the afternoon, after work. After we got chatted for a while, she mentioned someone was looking for a date,¡± he added proudly, having relaxed and his words weren¡¯t gushing out. ¡°Darla¡¯s coffee is to die for. What¡¯s your favorite drink there?¡± she asked, testing him. ¡°Uh¡­mocha blonde. I know, it¡¯s an old-school one, but I¡¯ve loved it since I was a teen and did my training in the merchant¡¯s guild. You?¡± ¡°The Frozen Emperor is a favorite of mine. It¡¯s a little indulgent, but she makes it absolute perfection!¡± ¡°Hah, I know that one. I tried it once, but even for it it¡¯s a bit sweet. So, I kinda have a feel for what you do¡­¡± he trailed off. ¡°I mean, I think I do. I just read the newspaper, and you were in it for a spell.¡± ¡°Bah, tabloid shenanigans! The real me is less heroic, more insecure, and a little more manic!¡± she leaned in; he was kinda cute. Nerdy, but cute. ¡°Does Darla talk about all her friends?¡± ¡°She loves to talk shop! I think she¡¯s a secret matchmaker for many people,¡± he added while looking rather shy all of a sudden. ¡°What made you go from a heroic adventurer, to a merchant?¡± ¡°Oh that one¡¯s¡­a little complicated,¡± she sighed. ¡°I had some stuff to take care of, and a large inventory of treasure to get rid of. I mean I ran a store before this, adventuring was a bend in the road!¡± A cosmic level bend in the road, mind you, she thought silently. ¡°So, what do you do? Count coins all day and laugh?¡± ¡°Nah, that¡¯s several floors above me,¡± he laughed softly. ¡°I make a decent living. I¡¯m good with numbers. Not as good as your Gregory, maybe, but I am good at also finding opportunities. And fraud.¡± ¡°Wait. What do you mean fraud?¡± He pulled out a gold coin from his pocket, pinching it with both fingers and looking at it intensely. ¡°So, my mark as an accountant lets me figure out the worth of things. It¡¯s good when you have different currencies and need to run exchange rates, and we have arcane relays to speed up the process. But my mark keeps telling me this thing here, doesn¡¯t have as much value as it should have.¡± He then showed it to her. ¡°It¡¯s work¡­but, I like solving puzzles like this. It looks like gold, has all the consistency of gold, and even has that little protection against tampering like cutting the coins to see what¡¯s inside. All baked into a ten gold CSG coin. So either my mark is wrong, or someone made a really good fake.¡± ¡°Well, this is a little oddity!¡± She looked at the gold and saw nothing to indicate anything was out of the ordinary. ¡°This isn¡¯t gonna be one of those hand buzzer things that ruin dates and leave future girlfriends in a murderous mood, is it?¡± ¡°Well, no. My hobbies involve hiking up in the mountains up north on weekends. I have a dragon friend who tells me I waste all that time climbing when I should hitch a ride! I tell her, that¡¯s not the point!¡± ¡°I know a dragon like that,¡± she said calmly. Doug really was all business, and despite their initial meeting, he wasn''t a terrible person. ¡°They¡¯re all so serious, to a fault!¡± ¡°Eh, Maritza is the coolest Aurelian dragon I know! She only dates other dragons but is more than willing to morph to a human form and do laps around me on the cliff face. Built-in climbing hooks,¡± he added with a huff, Fiona giggled at that. ¡°Hang on, let me see that coin. I want to see if I can do what the dragons do, they can spot a fake anywhere.¡± ¡°Not Martiza! She told me it was real! Who¡¯d have thought it? Maybe you can tell me something, Darla mentioned you got this thing for gold.¡± ¡°Yeah, I can¨C¡± The coin felt cold and heavy in her hand. Her sense of curiosity instantly spiked. She hefted the coin up and down, and then, flicked it with her finger. It did not meteor upwards like it normally would and only rose a few feet before she caught it in her hand. She stared at it as her powers failed to activate on it. ¡°Theo? This might be the best fake I¡¯ve ever seen.¡± Vol. 2, Ch. 74: In Which Our Merchant Cannot Go One Date Without Drama Theo looked at the coin, puzzled at her instant deduction. ¡°Okay, how?¡± Wingding. What else about this coin do I know, based on my talks with others? I don¡¯t want to tip my hand right away, because I don¡¯t wanna freak the guy out! He¡¯s cute! He¡¯s worth¡­at least a second date. Flap. Wingding spun on her wrist for a moment while she considered a response, and Fiona pointed at a subtle clue. ¡°The gold hardness is too high.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°The gold is harder than I¡¯d expected. With gold, it¡¯s malleable. This¡­isn¡¯t so.¡± She took a butter knife to the coin for emphasis, and stabbed the coin¨Cwithout leaving a dent. She showed a coin from her purse¨Ca one gold denomination. ¡°Now, if I do the same thing, it dents.¡± Theo watched, impressed, as she put a deformation into the coin with the thrust, with people looking on in curiosity. She slid a real coin to him. ¡°Now compare the weight.¡± ¡°Comparable to a real coin,¡± he murmured. ¡°They''re the same size, but the core sleeve of the coin is smaller on the bigger denominations. Weight is slightly different. By the way, do you know there¡¯s magical gold?¡± ¡°Aurelium? Yeah, I know that.¡± She had actually researched it one night at Greg¡¯s insistence, to familiarize herself with it. ¡°It can react strongly to some marks, right?¡± ¡°Yes. Aurelium brings meaning to the phrase ¡®the power of money¡¯ around here, you know?¡± he added with a flourish. ¡°I think one of your armor sets has Aurelium in it¨Cit was the gold and silver one that Darla mentioned.¡± ¡°That thing was heavy as sin. It was good protection, though.¡± She hadn¡¯t mentioned the incredible part of her mark¨Cthe fact that gold weighed nothing for her, or that she could fuse gold at room temperature. Maybe that armor would be even more useful, now! ¡°So, where¡¯d the fake coin come from?¡± ¡°You know, that¡¯s the funny thing! A representative from the town watch came to me a few days ago, I believe her name was Lieutenant Pierre. Tall wolven woman, white fur, a very competent veteran of the watch¨C¡± ¡°Hey, I know her! She debriefed me and my friends after we busted down a bunch of transfigured ratfolk who were pilfering gold everywhere!¡± She leaned in, curious. ¡°Sorry, I interrupted you. I still do some uh, weekend adventuring of sorts.¡± ¡°Never would have known,¡± he added with a smirk. ¡°Alright, so here¡¯s the thing. According to her, the rats had these coins on them when they were all moved to getting processed back to their various Folk forms, and that druid, man, he was not happy!¡± I mean, I did hit him in the face with a fish missile. That¡¯ll ruin anyone¡¯s day, she thought as she tried to fight back a grin. ¡°So, what tipped you off?¡± ¡°Pierre had a hunch there was something off about the coins. Her mark was telling her there was some mystery to be solved. She gets these premonitions when something is being hidden, either people lying to her or if something is not as it appears. But, she couldn¡¯t figure it out. So she went to the banks, asking around, to see if anyone could examine the coins. Everyone just shrugged and said it was normal, so she came to my bank because I¡¯ve sniffed out some forgeries as part of the day job.¡± ¡°Wouldn¡¯t you have checked the hardness, cut up the coins to check all this?¡± she asked. ¡°I did. And you know what? They were malleable, like normal gold behaves. Even Aurelium! But, how did you know it was fake?¡± ¡°Okay, here¡¯s a weird one for you.¡± She took a deep breath. ¡°Gold weighs nothing for me. If you gave me a backpack of gold, I¡¯d be lugging it around like I was wearing nothing! Now, I do notice a tiny bit of weight, but that¡¯s the coin core probably. A lot of metals seem to weigh less when I handle them.¡± ¡°I mean, your athletics are known,¡± he said dryly. She raised an eyebrow at this. ¡°How, exactly? I haven¡¯t had people chasing me around for interviews.¡± ¡°I heard a story about a woman chasing around some kobold about a week ago, carrying a giant hammer and keeping pace with the guy,¡± he added, and she suddenly felt her cheeks burning. ¡°That was you, wasn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°I, uh¡­there was a shoplifting incident.¡± Even though it was true, it sure sounded like she made it up. ¡°Normally, you just call the town watch for that,¡± he laughed. She narrowed her eyes. ¡°Former adventurer, we don''t want to get out of shape!¡± She was ready to crawl under the table after he chuckled softly in response, and she groaned. This is embarrassing, I can¡¯t believe people were paying attention. Wingding, I need to work on my visual appeal as a little bit less of a madwoman. Flap. Wingding agreed with that, too. Theo had settled down, and looked at the coin in curiosity. ¡°So, you can tell by the weight?¡± he continued. ¡°If it¡¯s not gold? Yeah, it¡¯s something else alright. But you cut them up, right?¡± ¡°Standard procedure, but we checked it with destructive testing last. Rikkard and the rest of the Kingdoms hate it when people destroy currency, even for checks like this. It¡¯s expensive to melt it down and start over because you can¡¯t just glue it back together. And don¡¯t get me started on paper currency. What a joke, it¡¯ll never catch on,¡± he scoffed. ¡°So, was this just the one?¡± she inquired. Something else was going on here, a layer of complexity was underneath the simple thefts. Not a single ratfolk had mentioned the coins. At least, not that she¡¯d heard of. Maybe even they didn¡¯t know? ¡°Were these stolen coins? Or were they in their possession the whole time?¡± ¡°That¡¯s the thing! According to Pierre, she had picked out three of the ratfolk, and they stole them from another place. They were still trying to figure out who was being forced to steal from where, it¡¯s a mess, according to her.¡± Theo blinked, and rubbed his temples. ¡°Oh goodness, this is¡­uh¡­this is a regular thing for you, isn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°You mean where I stumble on a bunch of weird stuff? Yep! Welcome to my average week! I cannot go seven days in my store without drama or chaos. It doesn¡¯t seem to affect my sales though,¡± she added with a frown. ¡°I was honestly hoping I¡¯d be able to get into a routine of normality, but the fates had other plans.¡±Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. Hey. Wingding let her annoyance be known with a message she flapped with her wings, like little tickles on her wrist. Theo appeared to relax. ¡°Kinda weird that of all the people Darla sets me up with for a little dinner out, it¡¯s the woman who made it possible to find a possible forgery ring. I mean it¡¯s only a handful of coins, but¡­¡± he trailed off. ¡°No one has been able to prove they¡¯re fake. If your mark has a power like this? That¡¯s really something.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a little¡­different than most merchants,¡± she offered while twirling her hair anxiously and trying to focus. Stop freaking out, he¡¯s cute and you like nerdy. Don¡¯t blow this, Swiftheart. ¡°I mean, I¡¯m a little different, too.¡± ¡°You know I read in a paper that you took on the dragon army with only a handful of people. Douglas the Red got what he deserved, utterly humiliated,¡± he added, looking contented by that. She didn¡¯t know why that statement bothered her. Doug was kinda greedy. He could be a little condescending. He was a little emotional. He clearly had an ulterior motive, or some other long-term plan¨Clikely, to repossess all his treasure again. Or, maybe it was just an oversized grudge against her, and he was waiting for the moment to strike. But that notion that he got what he deserved? Humiliated beyond reasonably funny? He hadn¡¯t deserved that. She pondered a disturbing question: if Doug¡¯s brother had done this more than once¡­just how many times had he had to endure his brother coming by and knocking over the dominoes of his life? And if he was so smart, why¡¯d he let it keep happening to himself? ¡°Douglas had a good relationship with the Kingdom for years,¡± she interjected. ¡°I know there are also others who have sought to vilify him. Hell, I¡¯m the woman who forced him to sign a peace treaty at hammer point! But I can¡¯t help but ponder if he was set up. His twin brother is a known deviant, and occasionally plays switcheroo.¡± ¡°I¡­didn¡¯t know that,¡± he admitted. ¡°Still though, that was a lot of headache for a lot of people. So, tell me something about you that I don¡¯t know!¡± ¡°My life¡¯s an open book,¡± she laughed anxiously. ¡°Not as much as you might think,¡± he assured her. ¡°So, who¡¯s the real Fiona, then, when she isn¡¯t running a shop? Or, stumbling into a den of conscripted rat thieves carrying nearly flawless fakes? Or fighting monsters and unruly customers?¡± ¡°I have more fun with the monsters,¡± she giggled. ¡°Greg tells me I have a fixation on dangerous pets. I have a pet phase cat that likes to use him as a cushion. A remarkably plain, grumbly pillow,¡± she added with a wry smile. ¡°That cat is something else. He''s super smart. And always being a total booger!¡± ¡°Sounds like your first love,¡± he teased. She scowled at him. ¡°Hey, I had a cat growing up in the Fiefdala outskirts. My family owned a decent farm that would produce dairy and cheese. We had a big old mouser cat, and he¡¯d bring us treats of dead mice. Not ratfolk mind you, real mice.¡± ¡°Thank goodness for that,¡± she exhaled with relief. ¡°Yeah, he¡¯s my world. And my friends. And my guildmates too, though that orbit is a little more nebulous,¡± she added with a smile. The waitress came back, a blue-feathered avian with green eyes, smiling politely. ¡°What¡¯ll you have tonight? We have the lake prawns that came in with a big catch¨Clikely the last of the season before the lake starts freezing over!¡± she said with gusto. ¡°Oh. I¡¯ll have that. All of that. If it¡¯s shaped like a shrimp, I want it!¡± Fiona stated, her eyes going wide. The waitress jotted it down and nodded to Theo. ¡°Remarian Trout, crisped, fried tubers, and a little bit of lemon?¡± he asked politely. ¡°You got it! The waitress hurried back to the kitchen, and Fiona glanced at the darkened windows, where the city lights were visible. ¡°You know, I didn¡¯t grow up around here. I grew up somewhere a little more rural. There¡¯s something magical about the cityscape, you know? The lights, the culture, the silhouette against the sky.¡± ¡°Where did you grow up? Bar¡¯dathi?¡± he asked. ¡°You know, elves come from many different places,¡± she added with a smirk. ¡°Nah, it¡¯s from a corner of the world I doubt you even know exists.¡± ¡°I know most of Fiefdala, but the rest of Cepalune, I¡¯m a bit rusty. Where?¡± ¡°Massachusetts. Rolling hills with a bunch of nested ponds and lakes, fall foliage that almost is as pretty as Fiefdala. They have warm summers, cold winters. And kind people,¡± she added with a wry smile. ¡°There are a lot of humans there. Not so many elves.¡± ¡°Ah, I can¡¯t say I¡¯ve heard of it. Cepalune¡¯s a big place. Getting bigger all the time, they say, with mages that can tear holes into the fabric of the aether, and connect faraway worlds,¡± he added with a contented sigh. ¡°Imagine other worlds, Fiona. Imagine the stories those people have told about these faraway places.¡± I can imagine it better you could ever know, Theo. She leaned in, curious. ¡°So what was it like for you, growing up?¡± ¡°Life was simple. Milking cows, dealing with cleaning out the stable, chasing my sister¡¯s coattails so she¡¯d play with me instead of her dolls,¡± he laughed. ¡°What about you, is your family back there?¡± ¡°Uh¡­I think so. I haven¡¯t¡­kept touch,¡± she trailed off. Mirana, I hope you¡¯re safe. I hope you guys beat the monsters. I hope mages and warriors were hiding on Earth that rose up and dealt with those things after I was gone. She knew she needed to change the subject, quickly. ¡°So, how¡¯d you change careers?¡± He let out a soft sigh. ¡°Because running a farm my dad, and his dad ran? Nah, that wasn¡¯t for me. My sister loved it, though, and went to Fiefdala proper to study economics. Didn¡¯t think I¡¯d end up as an accountant at a bank. My mark is pretty mundane for most, but I can do some detailed mental math, without any tools or an arcane datapad,¡± he added proudly. ¡°A math wizard!¡± she declared, trying not to laugh. ¡°I mean, yes, the phrase totally applies!¡± He took it in good humor, and gave a hand wave while he fought back a few laughs. ¡°Yeah, I know, it¡¯s not up to par with real mages or being a hero, but I really liked doing mathematical stuff. The world¡¯s growing up, Fiona. We don¡¯t need to rely on our marks for everything¨Cpeople are learning to run their lives without them, or barely using them. I mean, I still use mine, but it¡¯s more passive than, say, mages shooting off fireballs.¡± ¡°Hey, magic is magic, great and small,¡± she assured him. Though she had a nagging feeling her magic was starting to wander into something more than just great. The meal arrived, and they spent a good chunk of time idle chatting. Fiona only could get a word in when she wasn¡¯t enjoying the large lake prawns with delightful seasoning. Nothing on Earth had tasted like this¨Csavory, and a hint of sweet from the meat itself. Meanwhile, Theo occasionally talked about his hobbies¨Chiking was just one of them. He also collected various metallic ores, to test them for possible commercial viability as currencies. None were going to replace gold anytime soon, he concluded. One thing she knew for sure: He was worth a second date. ¡°So uh¡­Theo. What are you planning for tomorrow?¡± she asked, her lips curling into a smile. ¡°Well, I was supposed to go for one last hike before we get all snowed in, the squalls have been drifting over the lake further south, like the big ones are always huge snow events. You uh¡­¡± he trailed off, looking intrigued. ¡°This girl grew up in cold climates. Mind if I tag along?¡± she asked, and his face lit up. ¡°Oh yes! I mean, um¡­was that too loud?¡± he asked, barely over a whisper. She giggled at that. This boy was either genuine sweetheart material¡­or was part of a pack of demonic cult worshippers. ¡°No, it wasn¡¯t¨C¡± Her arcane relay went off in her pocket, and she frowned. She tried to ignore it, but it pinged again. She felt an ear twitch. It had to be bad news. Whenever a phone rang right when she was having a great moment, something inevitably went wrong. ¡°Would you excuse me for a second?¡± Theo nodded before she got up from the table and went to the window overlooking the harbor. It was Greg, of all people. ¡°Greg, what¡¯s up?¡± she asked casually. She was met by a hesitant pause from him. ¡°I¡¯ve got a problem, Fiona. I thought I could handle it on my own, but I think my father¡¯s men are tracking me. Can we meet?¡± ¡°Greg I¡¯ve got one question, first. Has your father ever done coin forgery? Coin forgery that was effective enough that no one could tell it was a fake?¡± she asked, her ears tensed. ¡°...Why do I get this feeling that you stumbled into something else crazily connected to everything else, Fiona?¡± he sighed. ¡°Yes, if I believe what I¡¯ve heard, my father has¡­attempted¡­to circumvent traditional currencies, let¡¯s say. But why¨C¡± ¡°Greg, I¡¯m bringing a plus one. Be nice to him. I want to be able to take him on a second date.¡± Vol. 2, Ch. 75: In Which Our Merchant Gets In Over Her Head ¡°Uh, well this is a little forward,¡± Theo replied anxiously as Fiona led the way. ¡°Why the shop?¡± ¡°Because I like hanging out there, and bringing you back to my place might be a little awkward. I don¡¯t want Tucker using you as a chew toy for the first date. However, he¡¯s pretty good at being social with almost everyone. That booger loves my landlord,¡± she added while they walked through the streets briskly, the arcane street lights illuminating their path parallel to the lake. ¡°Oh.¡± The fact that Theo was willing to roll with this, was surprising. ¡°So, what does Gregory have to do with the coins?¡± ¡°Not directly. My business partner has a¡­terse history with his father, who is a slippery jerk that has been thumbing his nose at the law for years. He runs ¡®legitimate¡¯ businesses. Except, now he wants something from his son.¡± ¡°Wait a minute. You¡¯re talking about the head Lockheed, right?¡± Theo asked, now sounding relieved. ¡°He doesn¡¯t utilize my bank. I think he utilizes Rockwell Financial Institute, or the bank the dragons set up in town. He hates utilizing any bank connected to the rest of the Unified Kingdoms, or so I¡¯ve heard.¡± ¡°Theo, I gotta warn you, I think there¡¯s good odds you might have stumbled on yet another weird cog in this machine of Fiefdala.¡± She hooked right and saw the shop up the street. The shop lights were on, and she glanced at her relay. Greg was already inside. ¡°So, there might be danger.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve faced danger. Growing up on a farm, mother and father always had us train with weapons, back when monsters were a little more unruly. I think you might have dealt with some of that problem,¡± he added with a wry smile. ¡°It¡¯s also a matter of knowing what makes them tick. I mean monsters want homes and food, too. I have Marthicus slimes lounging around my hot tub,¡± she added with a laugh. ¡°They make good cleaners.¡± ¡°You have slimes hanging in your hot tub?¡± ¡°Well, technically, the community hot tub. I like the appeal of it, and Granny and her husband use it, too. She''s my landlord.¡± She marched up the steps and Greg let her inside with a quick wave to beckon them in, and then latched the door. ¡°Greetings, mister Lockheed¨C¡± ¡°Just Greg,¡± he sighed, and Fiona could hear the fatigue and frustration in his voice. Greg rarely let himself be seen or heard sounding fatigued. ¡°Fiona, did you bring your date along for this one?¡± ¡°Greg? Real talk, we should go talk to Pierre. I think your father¡¯s circulating funny money. Remember how Pierre was saying that a circle of thieves were using ratfolk to steal various trinkets? The one we busted?" ¡°Yes¡­I do. But why?¡± Greg was now at attention on this one. ¡°Well here¡¯s the thing. I think they were also sometimes replacing the money with fake coins. Theo, show him what I mean.¡± ¡°Sure thing¨Coh my!¡± Theo gasped. When he pulled out the suspect coin from the envelope, they saw it had turned corroded and dark, and it smelled awful; Fiona gagged at the scent of rotten eggs, looking aghast. ¡°What happened to it?!¡± ¡°I¡­this is interesting,¡± Greg leaned in and grabbed a pair of handling gloves they used for moving some of the more sensitive items on display. He poked at the suspect coin and frowned. ¡°Oh, that is interesting. Alchemical degradation. Whatever they did to make these fake coins, it doesn''t last.¡± ¡°It''s been, what, a week?¡± Fiona proposed. ¡°Or, could it be because I said it was a fake?¡± ¡°I¡­do not know,¡± he frowned. ¡°We have a more pressing problem. My father is tagging me to be followed. I do not know his intentions, but he is likely going to, yet again, bring me back into the fold. I think he may try violence.¡± Fiona scoffed at that. ¡°Does he think he can get away with that? I mean, does he realize how dumb that would be, with me around?¡± ¡°My father gets away with just about everything, Fiona,¡± he stated deadpan, and looking more serious than usual. ¡°I get rather annoyed at how many second chances that man gets. Hence, my interest in distancing myself as far from him as possible. I worry what he¡¯ll do if I tell him to go screw off this time.¡± ¡°He won¡¯t do a thing, Greg. You¡¯ve got me! And Bonnie, and our demonic cactus, and a lethal phase cat, and we¡¯re in a store brimming with magical items,¡± she grinned. ¡°Speaking of, why didn¡¯t you just¡­take the express way here?¡± he inquired, hinting at her teleport ability. ¡°Eh, wasn¡¯t sure it would be safe,¡± she added with a subtle head tilt toward Theo, who was eying this with keen interest. ¡°Theo? Honestly on second thought, maybe we should catch up another time, this is something that doesn¡¯t have to involve you. You should go tell Detective Pierre that we know the coins are bogus¨C¡± ¡°No way. Funny money, you, and one of the biggest unofficial crooks in Fiefdala? I¡¯d like to help figure this one out. Besides, if we do, it¡¯ll be a memorable first date,¡± he added with a shaky laugh. ¡°Eh¡­alright. But at the first sign of real danger? You need to bounce,¡± she insisted. ¡°By the way, I have to compliment Darla. I do love a good fish and chips place.¡± ¡°I know, right? I go there like once or twice a month. I¡¯m a sucker for it,¡± he smiled. ¡°So, what¡¯s our plan here?¡± ¡°Invite Greg¡¯s father in, and have a cordial chat,¡± Fiona proposed. Greg went wide-eyed at this. ¡°You have no idea what my father is capable of, Fiona. Or what he is willing to do when he gets fixated on an idea.¡± ¡°Well, maybe we should ask him what he wants. Or his henchmen. Greg, this guy is gonna constantly be a shadow on your shoulder, and he¡¯s already allegedly tried to torch our building at least once," she argued. "Do you want to constantly be looking behind your shoulder, wondering whether he''s waiting for the moment to kick you when you''re off-balance?" ¡°No, but¨C¡± ¡°No, there¡¯s not ¡®buts¡¯ on this one Greg.¡± She lowered her tone to far less than her usual animated volume. ¡°Let me tell you something. I¡¯ve had family who thought I disappointed them, or I ran foul of them. Simply because of the life choices I made. They...they didn''t have respect for the people who made me happy." She could feel a pang of heartache just from even mentioning that. This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. He straightened at this, and nodded. ¡°Maybe we should talk this over when we aren¡¯t in present company?¡± he suggested. ¡°Now, I have an idea of what my father may be doing. He¡¯s trying to study me, find a way to coerce me. He¡¯s good at that. It¡¯s a predictable move of his.¡± ¡°So, you think he¡¯s watching us?¡± Theo proposed. ¡°I know he is. Right now, Bonnie has the shop warded against conventional intrusion, but there are plenty of magical means to eavesdrop on people. Now, stand back for a minute.¡± He pulled open his notebook and scribbled something into the pages that Fiona couldn¡¯t decipher. ¡°I am going to try something I haven¡¯t done much. Animated origami.¡± ¡°How¡¯s that related to your class, exactly?¡± Fiona pressed. ¡°Well, the bruiser class can manifest in many different ways. Because of my love of documentation and using paperwork, and methodical practices¡­my notebook can do many things.¡± he continued to scribble, while Theo and her leaned on the counter, looking on with keen interest. ¡°Normally these would be considered a summon of sorts. But what is a bruiser, without an army of enforcers?¡± ¡°I think you¡¯re leaning into this a bit much.¡± But, from his tone, he almost sounded slightly excited, eclipsing his normal dry tone. ¡°Relax. These little creations are meant to be eyes and ears.¡± He did one last scribble, and paper flowed out of the notebook like water, cascading down and folding along perfect seamlines. The sound of crisp pages rustling made it sound like she was inside a huge printing press building, like old-time newspaper companies. The paper formed a spindly, almost cartoon-like caricature of himself, and after enough folded layers of paper were added, it almost looked like Greg. He looked on, proudly, as the paper-like Greg clone stood there, with little drawn-on ink dots for his face. Fiona whistled at the cool factor on this one. ¡°Okay, that¡¯s pretty spiffy. How often have you done that?¡± ¡°Not very. They¡¯re limited in what commands you can give them. You can¡¯t give them complex tasks, so you have to be very simple, and very specific. I can tell this one to walk to a certain place, tell them to wait, and I can see what they see and hear.¡± he showed his notebook, and Fiona stared. She¡¯d played Myst. Everyone on Earth had played Myst at some point. What she saw was an animated illustration on the page like a linking book using the imbued ink of the pages to render what the paper copy of Greg was seeing. The ink lines shifted and whirled, almost making a faint audible sound as they swished and flowed across the page. She narrowed her eyes. ¡°I do not look that crazy-haired.¡± ¡°Creative artist interpretation,¡± Greg said with a smile, while Theo laughed. Greg pointed to him, and the paper automaton followed. Greg then flashed the book to show him, and it showed Theo with nerdy-looking glasses and an exaggerated tie. Theo frowned. ¡°Oh come on, is my tie that bad?¡± he complained. ¡°It¡¯s overdressed, and I love it,¡± Fiona grinned. ¡°Besides, ties seem to be a fashion in Fiefdala, even for ladies. It''s grown on me.¡± Theo turned a shade of red before looking off to the side. ¡°W-well, I mean, I did want to look my best on a date.¡± ¡°Mission accomplished, Theo. Now, let¡¯s see what¡¯s out there,¡± Fiona asserted, and looked around by the front entrance. She couldn¡¯t see anything. But, maybe there was another way. Alright, weight of hearts, go! Wingding, anyone got a heart of lead out there, you know, the kind of people that lead unfulfilling, never-do-well lives? [See Two. Half full lives] Fiona felt Wingding message her with a series of flaps¨Cadmittedly it was a little delayed, but she could feel her gaze gravitating toward a small cluster of shops adjacent to the lake¨Can old antique shop and a candy shop she may have paid a visit to a little too often. Fiona waved Greg over. Okay, by Manny''s candy shop. I think someone¡¯s lurking. Didn¡¯t see anything, but there¡¯s every power under the sun with the marks.¡± ¡°Alright. Let¡¯s see where this goes then. Paper Greg, go sneak over there by the alley and listen for anyone,¡± he instructed the automaton, went over to the side door, and opened it. Paper Greg turned into a pile of loose papers, that blew around like they were being carried by the wind. She watched them drift out the door and slither across the brick street, looking innocuous as papers being carried by the breeze of the evening. ¡°Now, we wait,¡± Greg stated; he pretended to look busy, and occasionally looking at Fiona and Theo. but his gaze was on the book. ¡°Think they can hear us?¡± Theo asked anxiously. ¡°I think they can see us, but I don¡¯t think they¡¯re capable of listening,¡± Greg mused. ¡°Bonnie¡¯s wards protect against certain things, but not everything. Alright, let¡¯s see what we get." The imagery crept back into the notebook as Fiona peered at the notebook, the paper automaton reassembled, and a papery hand pressed against a wall. ¡°Now, move forward and stop at the corner,¡± Greg whispered to the notebook. The animation changed, and Greg scribbled something into the notebook. A rune. Fiona was still learning about the runes from Bonnie, but they looked like¡­ears? Almost immediately, sound emanated from the notebook, interjected by someone crumpling a paper ball. Her ears twitched at that¨Cit was loud. But, she could hear someone talking with a slithery voice. ¡°C¡¯mon, why are they there, after hours?¡± ¡°Beats me. Boss told us to follow, and see what they were doing. He didn¡¯t say anything about getting up close,¡± a grumbly voice added, sounding like someone tearing a strip of paper. ¡°You read lips?¡± ¡°No. Do you? Then shush.¡± two men were there, and Fiona gasped. They matched the description of the two people who had roughed him up a few weeks ago, outside the shop, the salamander and Lynxkin. ¡°You know we almost got busted last time we did this.¡± ¡°Hans, I wanna go, it¡¯s freezing!¡± the salamander hissed, and bundled himself up in his coat. ¡°This is a pissing contest between Lockheed and Santino. We weren¡¯t supposed to go in!¡± ¡°Listen, moron, if Lockheed¡¯s kid got hurt, we would all have been burned,¡± the Lynx snarled, while the paper automaton edged by the corner, looking at the two men peering from the cover of a trash dumpster. ¡°Stupid Santinos.¡± Greg looked intrigued at this development. ¡°A rival of my father¡¯s, Pierre mentioned them, too¡± he murmured. He said little else as the two ruffians idly bantered for a minute. ¡°So we¡¯re what, babysitters? This is bogus," the salamander complained a minute later. ¡°Lockheed blew it with his kid. He knows it. Why do you think he told us to make sure those barrels didn''t blow? They had runes even the fox wouldn¡¯t have seen, and little itty bitty fox bits would have been a really bad scene. Look, we¡¯re lucky the bird didn¡¯t see us before we were done tampering with the lock to force them to upgrade their security. Santino¡¯s guys were in and out like ghosts. Spooky, kinda. It doesn¡¯t help that they just broke up Santino¡¯s smuggling ring. They¡¯re in over their heads now.¡± ¡°Hey, I panicked.¡± ¡°You hit a teen, you dumbass. We almost got busted. This is why I do all the planning,¡± the lynx grumbled, before peering through the binoculars. ¡°They¡¯re still standing there. I dunno what they¡¯re doing. They were talking before.¡± ¡°What about those coins Pierre tipped us about?¡± All eyes turned to Theo, who gasped. ¡°W-what? Why would she do that?!¡± ¡°Shush. Villains talking,¡± Fiona said, putting a finger to her lips. There were other factors at work now. The Lynxkin shrugged. ¡°I dunno nothin'' about that. Santino is running some other game for another player in town. Look man, I keep my head down, and when Lockheed tells us to stick to legit business, I jump on it. This job? I¡¯ll take this job any day of the week.¡± ¡°But I¡¯m freezing my ass off!¡± the salamander complained. ¡°You have fur!¡± ¡°Yes, I do,¡± the Lynxkin grinned. ¡°Okay, there¡¯s a whole lotta nothing here¨Cwait, do you hear something?¡± Fiona could hear it too, a crinkling sound that was getting louder. Greg went wide-eyed. ¡°Oh no. I forgot I haven¡¯t practiced these too much. They tend to¨C¡± That crinkling grew louder, and the men turned to see the paper Greg staring at them, and Fiona looked out the window. ¡°Oh, crap,¡± the Lynx shouted out as if he knew what was about to happen. The paper replica exploded into confetti at a distance in the alleyway, and Fiona was already dashing out the door, their stealth blown. She was going to get answers, as the men sputtered, covered in paper shreds, and she lunged for the Lynxkin. Vol. 2, Ch. 76: Stop Right There, Criminal Scum! ¡°Greg, Wait at the X marks the spot!¡± Fiona screamed out as the Lynxkin¡¯s eyes widened. ¡®X marks the spot¡¯ was a new move they¡¯d worked on, given her increasing magical powers. She shot out her grappling hook¨Cher perennial favorite¨Cand just missed the man, who dodged with incredible grace. ¡°Ach! Run, Hans! It¡¯s the ginger!¡± the salamander screeched out and bolted with incredible grace up the side of the shop; he then vaulted onto the roof with his sticky grip. She ignored him, and went after the Lynx, who followed his partner and had pounced upward to the roof, then vaulted over an arcane lamp post.¡± ¡°Stop right there, Criminal scum!¡± She knew they wouldn¡¯t, but she had a plan to snag one, and wound up her grappling hook for another shot. She swerved and pursued the fleeing observers as they both bounded toward the larger buildings, adjacent to the shop. She fired her grappling hook again at the street lamp and used the momentum to bound upward, scrabbling to catch the corner of the roof. To say they were in terror at her being able to keep up, was an understatement. The salamander looked behind him, yellow-green eyes alight with panic. Getting busted wasn¡¯t part of their plan, nor tipping off Greg that he was being monitored. The salamander split off and climbed the vertical wall of a building, letting out a wheezing gasp as he impacted against the side, but quickly recovered and scrambled upward. She ignored him, she was focused on the lynx who didn¡¯t have nearly as much spring in his step as his counterpart. It didn¡¯t mean he didn¡¯t make for a good chase as he bounded across the rooftops, dislodging shingles and sounding like he was winded. This guy wasn¡¯t getting away from her. She was closing the distance to him, and he scrambled across a gap in the buildings, working his way south. ¡°Miss, there¡¯s a misunderstanding¨C¡± ¡°Yes, there is! My shop has a no shirt, no shoes, no ruffians policy!¡± she snapped, and recharged the grappling hook for another shot. This guy was fast, but he was wheezing now, and slowing down. This time her aim was true, and she grappled the guy around the legs. He fell and hit himself right on his chin, groaning. ¡°Ah come on, we haven¡¯t done anything wrong¨C¡± ¡°Save the sob story, we¡¯re gonna be back in a flash!¡± she beamed as she reeled him in, cat claws screeching across the roof tiles as he fought to get away. Tucker put on a bigger effort when he was trying to avoid the bath, and he was smaller than this guy! Once she was in range, she spun him around, and put him in a bear hug. ¡°Now repeat after me, Hans! There¡¯s no place like home! Also, click your heels together and keep your arms and tails close by. I¡¯ve done this like once,¡± she grinned. ¡°Click my what¨Care you mad, woman?!¡± Poof. As soon as she appeared in the shop, papery snakes wrapped around her and Hans, binding them together¨Cexcept for Greg loosening her restraints around her, and she slipped out, while the lynx toppled over, cursing and trying to claw at the papers. ¡°Hey, what¡¯s the big deal, I didn¡¯t do nothing!¡± the lynx protested, and was now thoroughly pinned by the ensnaring sheets. Greg looked a little ruffled but kept his notebook open, and he leaned down. Lynx went pale. ¡°Oh uh, well, this is awkward. Hi, Greg.¡± ¡°The feeling is not mutual, Hans.¡± Greg glared at the man, before taking a step back and adjusting his glasses. ¡°So, you know this guy?¡± Fiona asked. ¡°I¡¯ve known Hans for a while. I thought the mention of the lynx from Kali might be a match, but I was reserving judgment.¡± Greg tapped his notebook with his pen irritably while glaring at Hans, who looked equally nonplussed. ¡°My notebook was recording that little exchange of yours, and your mistreatment of my employee. Try to lie to me, and I¡¯ll let Miss Swiftheart have her way with you, before the town watch shows up.¡± Fiona interjected with a tongue click. ¡°Sheesh, I¡¯m not a brute, Greg. Also, we have a plus one, let¡¯s be gentle first?¡± she reasoned. Theo was still staring at the spectacle. ¡°You teleported,¡± he gasped finally. ¡°Yep!¡± ¡°You teleported.¡± ¡°I know, right? We call it ¡®X marks the spot!¡¯ It¡¯s a new tactic we came up with, in case anyone was giving us trouble!¡± she declared in a sing-song voice, before peering down at Hans. ¡°By the way, don¡¯t ever call me ginger again. We have a proud hairitage.¡± Even Greg groaned at that. ¡°Fiona, I think your puns may inflict lasting mental damage on people. Please don¡¯t make any more, for the sanity of the rest of us.¡± Theo was fighting back a laugh, but otherwise said nothing while Greg continued. ¡°Now, for the preamble, I know Hans. He¡¯s one of my father''s ¡®white glove¡¯ operatives. He does the things that won¡¯t land him in a jail cell. Usually. His sticky-footed friend, on the other hand¡­¡± Greg cracked his knuckles for emphasis. ¡°I told Randal to just zip out of there. He didn¡¯t listen,¡± Hans grunted. ¡°Look, that moronic lizard is probably running back to your father to tell him that he screwed up. Which means my ass is on the line. Let me use my relay.¡± Fiona grabbed it out of his pocket. ¡°Better be convincing. Tell him we¡¯d like a chat about what is going on with the Santinos. We heard enough of your conversation.¡± ¡°Damn golems. Nice trick, Greg. I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d mastered that one,¡± Hans grumbled. ¡°Alright, get me on the phone with that dimwit, before he gets me lined up for a bruising I don¡¯t deserve.¡± One terse conversation later, the lynx convinced his idiot partner to turn around, on the advice of ¡®Greg¡¯s dad will turn you into crispy lizard if you run and tell him¡¯ and about five minutes later, the salamander knocked on the door of the shop. The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement. ¡°Damn, I didn¡¯t think he¡¯d go through with it.¡± Fiona waved him inside, where his partner was now untied, and Greg was looking at them sternly, sitting at one of the coffee shop tables. ¡°Start talking, boys. And I might forgive you for roughing up my employee, but that one is still going to cost you.¡± "Sheesh, no thanks for keeping the bird one piece? You chased me halfway across town and--" She slammed Randal against a support pillar, pinning him. "You know something, Greg? I always wanted to make a necklace made out of teeth, to expand my arts and crafts hobbies! Every time he annoys me, I''m taking one to add to my collection." Randal gulped at that, his eyes bulging. "You''re crazy." She ground her teeth, glaring right at him, inches from his face. "You''re damn right I''m crazy, when it comes to protecting my staff, and friends. Now, be nice, this is my house, and my rules." ¡°Miss Swiftheart, ease off a bit. If your employee went in the door fifteen minutes earlier, he¡¯d have been fried,¡± Hans interjected. ¡°We probably saved his life. And your shop.¡± She let go of him and he gasped, looking anxious before he plopped down on a seat. ¡°Why do I not buy that?¡± Greg asked, looking irked. ¡°My father never does anything that doesn¡¯t benefit himself. Not a single, damn thing.¡± ¡°Whoa, Greg, tone it down a notch,¡± Fiona cautioned. ¡°The Santino''s tried to burn my shop? Why?¡± Hans sighed and gazed at her with sullen blue eyes, his face flecked with white and black spotted fur still covered in confetti pieces. ¡°Santino hates the Lockheeds. He¡¯d kill every one of them if he could. Some kind of bad blood from a business deal that went south. It was like, twenty years ago, when Greg was a kid.¡± ¡°It¡¯s Gregory, Hans. I¡¯m not a child,¡± Greg warned him and loomed ominously. ¡°Now regale us with a tale of a father who enjoys tormenting others.¡± ¡°Ever since you left, your dad''s been distraught,¡± Hans grunted. ¡°He hasn¡¯t been as much fun. And your sister? She turned rebel and she told him to piss up a flagpole if he ever expected her to take over the family business.¡± Fiona laughed at this. ¡°''Piss up a flagpole''? Man, what a classy line! I¡¯m pretty sure that one was stolen from somewhere else. I would know, because I was there!¡± Greg shook his head and sighed. ¡°Please ignore the manic shopkeeper, let¡¯s stick to business. I told my father under no circumstances was he to interfere with my life again. Did he not get the memo last time?¡± ¡°You mean when you beat six men half to death?¡± Hans asked in an edged tone. ¡°Yeah, the message was loud and clear. Steve still walks with a limp. And every time someone cracks walnuts in the room, he freaks out. And your father still keeps a bowl of them in every room in the house. Now the short version is, that he¡¯s lonely. And has been¡­going legit.¡± Greg blinked, Fiona¡¯s jaw dropped, and Theo looked confused. ¡°So, this is a normal day for you guys?¡± Theo asked hesitantly. ¡°My advice Theo? If you can¡¯t handle drama of the sensational variety that would be better put in a soap opera, better to run,¡± Fiona replied. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t hold it against ya, and you had a fun first date, for the record.¡± ¡°Why does that sound like it would be fun? Beats the office job. Now continue, henchman one,¡± Theo added, leaning into this. ¡°Great. Are you all done being snarky? I¡¯m not gonna spill the boss''s dirty laundry, but I will tell you this: the Santino''s have a beef with you, Greg. That was before you guys crashed their fishery cover shop. You¡¯re lucky your shop is still standing.¡± ¡°C¡¯mon, don¡¯t they have bigger fish to fry?!¡± Fiona declared, using her trademark finger pistols. No one laughed. ¡°You guys are becoming such squares. Greg, your dourness is infectious.¡± ¡°No, explain why the Santinos have an issue with us. We¡¯ve had no contact with them, other than a recent situation where we recovered a valuable relic for a friend. They were either taking or shipping fake coins. Is my father making them?¡± Greg demanded. Hans went blank, while Greg tapped a shoe. ¡°Don¡¯t play dumb. I know what my father does. Theft, assault, money laundering, gambling, extortion¡­he doesn¡¯t have people murdered, which I suppose is a plus.¡± ¡°We stopped all that crap after you,¡± Hans snapped. ¡°That was¡­what, ten years ago? Honestly going legit is harder than it sounds. Anyone we give a bruising usually wasn¡¯t on the right side of the law¨C¡± ¡°The coins, Hans,¡± Greg demanded. ¡°Who was the intended recipient? Why bother going through the effort of fake coins? They degrade, as Theo just found out.¡± Hans peered at the corrupted coin and frowned. ¡°Oh, that¡¯s bad. We heard they were near-perfect fakes. No one could tell the difference, except Pierre, but she couldn¡¯t prove it.¡± Greg raised an eyebrow at that. ¡°She uh¡­we do work for her. Sort of a hush-hush deal where we keep our nose clean, and she doesn¡¯t look too hard when mischief is afoot in the upper quadrant of downtown.¡± ¡°Go on,¡± he stated with an edged tone. ¡°Where did the coins come from?¡± ¡°Well, that might be a question for your father. Speaking of which¡­¡± Fiona turned to hear a tapping at the door, and she went to the entryway. She was surprised to see a man waiting at the doorway, with grey streaked, long brown hair, dressed in a business outfit and a jacket, and adorned with a single fancy ring on one hand. He had a close-cropped beard, grey eyes, and a weathered face. He was powerfully built and waited outside, hands clasped behind his back in a resting position. At first glance, she thought it was an older, more muscular version of Greg¨Cbut she knew it could only be his father. ¡°Hey, Greg? Yeah, we have a visitor.¡± Greg sidled over to her, teeth gritted. ¡°Don¡¯t let him in.¡± ¡°Do you ever consider that your perception of your father is skewed?¡± she asked quietly. ¡°I don¡¯t need to consider it. I know who he is. It¡¯s always a scheme, or a ruse, or some other form of coercion. It¡¯s always the same, every time.¡± They both stood at the doorway, while Fiona let out a huff. ¡°All you have to do is hear him out, then tell him you¡¯re done. Greg, I have a theory,¡± she pressed. ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± ¡°Someone is stealing all the gold out of Fiefdala. A fakery that can¡¯t be detected, except by maybe myself, or through some alchemical decay. Who stands to benefit with Fiefdala stripped of resources?¡± he glanced her way, stern-faced as ever, and folded his arms while she continued. ¡°Vale tried brute force and got beat to paste every time. Who¡¯s to say that those now in power didn¡¯t start a big brain scheme to use the existing criminal elements to undermine the country, a bit at a time?¡± ¡°We can find the answers without him.¡± She¡¯d never heard Greg angry like this. ¡°And what if we don¡¯t?¡± For the first time, she wondered if Barry wasn¡¯t running the country dry, but was just a giant idiot trusting the wrong people. ¡°Look, Greg, we can just run this shop like normal, ignore the kingdom power player intrigue, and we¡¯ll do well for ourselves. But I don''t know if I could look the other way, while the kingdom slowly crumbles around us.¡± ¡°You have no proof they¡¯re all connected¨C¡± ¡°Greg? They¡¯re all connected. I¡¯ll tell you this, as a woman who should have been dead and gone eight months ago, I¡¯m here for a reason. Something bigger than you and me is going on. Do you think you could live with the notion of Fiefdala crumbling, a bit at a time as it gets undermined?¡± There was a long pause as he considered the evidence, eyes shifting to his father, then back to her. He let out a soft sigh. ¡°Alright, Fiona. I¡¯ll do this for you.¡± She opened the door slowly, and waved to the man. ¡°Shop¡¯s closed¡­but I¡¯m guessing this is more of a family business matter, mister¡­¡± The man spoke with a deep, rich, and throaty tone, and bowed slightly¨Can honorific that seemed surprisingly out of place. ¡°Greetings, Miss Swiftheart. I¡¯m Thanatos Lockheed, the current executive officer of Lockheed Exports and Acquisitions. I believe you and I have a common foe. Can you forgive the improper office call?¡± She waited two seconds, then waved him in. ¡°Give Greg any crap or try to coerce him, and I¡¯ll export you to the next continent. Express shipping,¡± she threatened as she waved her hammer haft. Thanatos smiled. ¡°Oh, I like her already, Gregory.¡± Vol. 2, Ch. 77: Aggressive Haggling Isnt Against The Rules! Greg never took his eyes off the imposing man that strolled in like he owned the place. A fact that Fiona did not ignore, while Thanatos glanced at his subordinates. ¡°I believe my instructions were to not be seen or detected.¡± ¡°They were. We were taking precautions.¡± Hans bowed his head slightly. ¡°I¡¯ll take responsibility for Randal¨C¡± ¡°We will discuss this later. This was an eventuality that was coming.¡± Thanatos, stern and bold, pivoted to look at the shop, at Theo, then back to her and Greg. ¡°I am impressed, Gregory. You¡¯ve come a long way from a simple accountant and former adventurer.¡± Greg bit his lip gently at that slight spoiler, and Fiona chose to say nothing, examining that exquisite business outfit. It put most of her wardrobe to shame, with the level of detail in the fabric, and the perfectly folded pocket kerchief. Or the likely magical enchantments woven into it, judging by the slight glow around it. With a simple click of his tongue, Greg finally started the discussion. ¡°You know, saving face after a lifetime of trying to make myself into a more efficient version of you, doesn¡¯t mean I have to accept this as sincere. We haven¡¯t spoken in almost ten years, Father, and you show up, now?¡± ¡°Can a father not show admiration for his son¡¯s accomplishments?¡± Thanatos asked, sounding confident. He waved to the room. ¡°Or, the company he keeps. Miss Swiftheart, you have come a long way, as well. From adventurer to merchant, to¨C¡± ¡°Mister Lockheed, I am careful about the company I keep. I know your reputation, so your presence here is tolerated so much as you keep to business, or matters concerning the greater good of Fiefdala.¡± Fiona crossed her arms, and sized the man up. Not a single word rattled him, and he gazed right back. ¡°First question. Why are rival gang members targeting my shop? Were they fixing to hurt Greg?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Why?¡± That second part of the question was the bigger unknown, and she had a theory. ¡°You know, if the shop had burned to the ground¨Cunlikely, given Bonnie¡¯s protective wards¨Cinsurance would have shelled out for the loss. The watch would have known in a second foul play was involved. If anything, you knew they¡¯d look at you, first.¡± Thanatos nodded at this. ¡°I have a¡­differing view of how business should be conducted in this city. This puts me at odds with those in power. But burning my own son¡¯s shop down, in an act of spite? No. Gregory and I don¡¯t talk anymore, but I do respect what he has built.¡± ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s what every criminal says¨C¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t come here for the commentary, Swiftheart,¡± Thanatos interrupted forcefully. Fiona swore she could hear the tension in his limbs like a deadly coiled mafia don spring. ¡°I believe in earning what I¡¯ve worked for. I believe that those who work hard should be rewarded for their efforts. And that some avenues of the law should not be ignored.¡± ¡°Fine. Why were they trying to burn my shop, before the current situation?¡± ¡°Simple. Someone wanted your shop gone. Or at least, delayed. As for who that was, I think you have more than a few people that don¡¯t like you that much,¡± Thanatos stated, and glanced at the paintings that were going on display at the museum soon. ¡°This has to be the biggest La¡¯teur collection I have seen. Can I interest you in¨C¡± ¡°They belong in a museum,¡± Greg and Fiona stated irritably. Thanatos grinned at that. ¡°Not every mark has limitless power, you know. I bet I could hold onto these longer than most. Ah, well. The point is, that you present a problem, Swiftheart. You left people with a headache they didn¡¯t know how to deal with. At least, not without making an ugly scene.¡± ¡°Get to the point. I know why the Santinos would be out for me, now. We broke up their gold smuggling act and sneaked in fakes to cover up the theft. You keep doing that for long enough, and eventually, you can bleed a country dry. Am I close?¡± she asked, fingers tapping on her arm. ¡°That is only part of it. But why before? Why wait till now?¡± he asked. Fiona frowned as he gave them a moment to consider. A few possibilities came to mind: he knew she was a summoned, and a wild card, in addition to the powers of her mark. Or, he put together this meeting to create a situation for Greg to at least sit and talk. That one had a lot of moving parts and there were too many things that would have been sheer coincidence, The third theory was puzzling: he cared about this shop, and the city. He just didn''t care to follow the rules as much. Even screwed up parents could care about their kids, too. ¡°Thanatos, what¡¯s your beef with the Santinos? Is this a power play to get us to get rid of your rivals?¡± she demanded. ¡°Because, bravo. I¡¯d be very willing to crack heads together, if presented with an opportunity.¡± ¡°No. This is bigger than some rival troublemakers, who don¡¯t respect boundaries that were established long before they shipped here on the rivers, starving for a piece of the action,¡± Thanatos replied. She heard those hands creak with coiled strength. He really hated these guys, she noted. ¡°Then, what is it about?¡± This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. ¡°The Santinos have a connection to Vale. They do things I don¡¯t like.¡± ¡°Well that¡¯s a broad net,¡± Fiona muttered. ¡°You know, it¡¯s like those ratfolk that all got transfigured? They were effectively slaves of a different sort. I¡¯m not sorry I earned their ire.¡± ¡°Good. Then we¡¯re in alignment,¡± Thanatos said after a pause. ¡°I have reason to believe that the Santinos were another ratchet of tension on the kingdom. I want them and their operations shut down, here and there.¡± Fiona laughed heartily at this. ¡°Me, help you? Nah, thanks, I have enough frenemies on my staff.¡± ¡°Oh? What about another alternative?¡± Thanatos smiled. ¡°Gregory, I know enough about your situation to know Barry leveraged a poorly worded and vague, ancient law to screw you over collectively. And that Barry is stalling his treasury on the audit.¡± ¡°Yeah, is it not weird that they haven¡¯t said a word?¡± Fiona asked. ¡°Like a whole lotta nothing. Though, I thought Rikkard was behind that.¡± ¡°No. Barry is looking for more ammunition to coerce you. He isn¡¯t going to find any, thanks to Greg''s efforts to keep above board, as they say.¡± Fiona hated that cocksure grin on Thanatos¡¯ face, but she also knew he likely wasn¡¯t blowing smoke. ¡°I also found out the reason he wants you in the negotiations. Someone tipped him off that your mark provides unusual powers, though I don¡¯t believe he knows the full extent, other than flinging gold at insane speeds.¡± ¡°Hey, coinuken is a signature move. I would have gone with ¡®money shot¡¯, but that has a lot of other unsettling implications,¡± Fiona stated while gritting her teeth. ¡°So, what? He wanted this deal from the beginning. That didn¡¯t happen till after.¡± ¡°I think he¡¯s going to have your shop seized. He¡¯s dropping all pretense of fairness, and he¡¯s about to burn his bridge with his father to do so.¡± ¡°He tries that, I¡¯ll take my demolition hammer and wreck the palace,¡± Fiona threatened. ¡°Where¡¯d you hear this?¡± ¡°Because I keep people in places where it¡¯s prudent to listen,¡± he answered. Greg and Theo bristled at this. ¡°And you¡¯re the one that magically knows this? It¡¯s not like we don¡¯t have ears listening in, either,¡± Greg countered, eyes taking a dark look as he glared at his father. ¡°He can¡¯t do that. I¡¯ve done the reading, and you¡¯re clearly angling in to be a hero when you do nothing but further your own interests, at every turn.¡± ¡°I am furthering my interests. I¡¯d hate for you to lose this shop, and your reputation, Gregory, because of a sniveling twerp sitting in a throne too big for him,¡± Thanatos answered, looking unbothered by the accusation. Fiona tried to not laugh, but she did anyway. ¡°He really doesn¡¯t fill that throne well, does he? He¡¯s so tiny compared to Rikkard! Literally and figuratively,¡± she added between laughs. ¡°Kid has a Napoleon complex if I ever saw one.¡± ¡°So, you dangle this information in front of us. Why?¡± Greg folded his arms, looking cross at his father. Thanatos glanced at a display case of small items. But he continued to talk. ¡°Because I have a solution.¡± ¡°We have a solution already,¡± Fiona countered. ¡°We¡¯re paying off this king¡¯s ransom tomorrow. I¡¯m gonna have to grab every bit of savings out of my account, but with the accounting we¡¯ve done, I¡¯m officially debt-free. Then we¡¯re gonna summon him down to the tax office with a spectacle and watch him panic, and then, we¡¯ll offer him a lifeline¨Cat a cost. So, why do we need you, Mister Lockheed?¡± ¡°Because he layered a trap into this. He is going to nail you on fraud. The valuation of the items¨C¡± ¡°Are bogus. We know. We¡¯ve got paperwork, and tallied the over and undercount. He technically owes me money,¡± she grinned. Thanatos wore a blank expression. ¡°But did you account for everything?¡± ¡°Yes, dad, we have,¡± Fiona uttered with a roll of her eyes. ¡°I have made this man my dragon to slay. Not that I¡¯ve slayed any dragons, but still, I am dedicated to humiliating this brat in the best way possible: having him make an ass of himself in front of the whole city. And if he tries to arrest me for some bogus charge? Jake and half the adventurer¡¯s guild will be backing us up.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve thought this through more than I thought,¡± Thanatos mused. ¡°Because she knows how to run a business, and knows how to do more than swing a hammer,¡± Greg stated stiffly, and gave her a subtle nod. It felt like a big moment, hearing him say that, but the moment was but a flash, as he turned to his father. ¡°We don¡¯t need your help, father. And we don¡¯t want your help.¡± ¡°Oh. Well then, I guess I¡¯ll go, then.¡± Thanatos sighed and motioned to his counterparts. ¡°I guess our help isn¡¯t needed.¡± Theo stepped in. ¡°Hang on. You sound awfully sure of yourself. How does the fake gold play a role in all of this? You never answered it directly, earlier. You said ¡®it was a part of it.¡¯ You know something else. Something we don¡¯t.¡± Thanatos turned and smiled. ¡°You know, I do love a good coincidence. What could you do with a pile of fake gold that almost no one could detect?¡± ¡°If I was smart, exchange it. But you do it at a level you could make a lot of money before the theft was discovered,¡± Theo proposed. ¡°That coin degraded in a week. Perhaps the Santinos were testing it to see how well the fake held up? We still don¡¯t know how it decayed. I¡¯d have to study it. But it didn¡¯t do that until after Fiona declared it a fake.¡± ¡°Hey, I¡¯m a merchant of fortunes,¡± she shrugged. Thanatos tilted his head in curiosity, but said nothing in response. It was telling of his lack of response. ¡°You know the next move, don¡¯t you?¡± ¡°I know that the Santinos likely got the gold from Vale. I know they were likely expecting to gather data from their efforts. I know who else is in Vale.¡± Fiona glanced at Greg, then at Theo. ¡°Who?¡± she pressed. ¡°A certain individual who has caused much strife to your situation. A certain cinder dragon who has a penchant for swindling, trickery, and ruining lives for fun. If he¡¯s not involved, he likely will know who is.¡± She waited three seconds as she considered what this would mean to follow this trail. ¡°We¡¯re still doing our Plan A. You clearly want the Santinos to take a bruising. And now, you have something we want. Why does everyone around here like shady deals?¡± she sighed. ¡°Fiona, don¡¯t do it,¡± Greg interjected, teeth on edge. ¡°I¡¯m doing it. I don¡¯t hate Doug enough to not want him to get payback on his brother¨C¡± ¡°No, we¡¯re not,¡± Greg interrupted, glaring at her. ¡°I will support you on just about everything, Fiona, but this is something I will not allow.¡± ¡°We¡¯re not breaking any laws¨C¡± ¡°It¡¯s not about laws,¡± he declared with a growl. ¡°A word, aside?¡± Fiona returned the glare right back at him. ¡°Fine. The office. Thanatos, we¡¯ll be back.¡± ¡°Uh¡­I¡¯ll be here. Chilling. With the totally legit export company boss,¡± Theo replied shakily, as Fiona stomped off to her office, and closed the door firmly. She loved her office, but there was not a lot of love in the room, with Greg looking furious, in contrast to the cheery pictures of the group on the walls. ¡°We are not making a deal with him. Ever.¡± Vol. 2, Ch. 78: An Offer You Can Refuse ¡°Greg¨C¡± ¡°Don¡¯t Greg me,¡± he interrupted, putting a hand up. ¡°I¡¯m tired of it. You think doing this will lead to a fairy tale ending, where everyone wins. I¡¯m telling you, this will end well for no one except for my father. He will make a profit, put a rival to the wayside, or leave us even more screwed over. Or he¡¯s working with Barry. Have you considered that?¡± ¡°To what end?¡± Fiona asked, clenching her fists. ¡°You¡¯re letting your history with your dad cloud your judgment¨C¡± ¡°This is what he always does!¡± The fact that Greg even raised his voice, told her how pissed he was. ¡°Fiona, sometimes you are so naive! You trust in the altruism and goodness of other people, and the problem is? Most everyone is trying to screw you over, at some point in their lives. My father has been doing this his entire life.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not naive¨C¡± ¡°You spent six months without understanding the marks!¡± he was on the verge of shouting. ¡°That is the pinnacle of naivety!¡± She took a step toward him, leering down. ¡°That is not fair, Greg. I got dumped here on Cepalune without a clue. I picked up a lot as I went. And I have learned a lot more since then. Don¡¯t you dare try to make an apples or oranges comparison.¡± ¡°Really?¡± he refused to back down and pointed to her mark. ¡°You don¡¯t even know what your mark fully does! That is not the only thing that concerns me, Fiona. While you¡¯re flirting with customers and finding ways to ¡®stick it¡¯ to Barry, I¡¯m doing the accounting work, keeping this place running.¡± ¡°Accounting work I read over every single line when you¡¯re done, Greg. As a responsible business owner.¡± She lowered her tone, to hopefully deescalate this. "I do plenty of work you don''t notice. I strategize about what items to sell, research comparable prices, and ask customers what they''d like for future purchases. I am forward-thinking when I have to be." He still looked unmoved. ¡°Last week, you double book-kept a case filled with a potion of antidote for about fifty gold in expenditures. We only bought one case of them for restocking. I found the error, and we were 50 gold ahead after checking the totals. I fixed it without telling you, because other than that, your bookkeeping work is nearly flawless. You¡¯re probably the most reliable and knowledgeable bookkeeper I¡¯ve ever known.¡± His stance relaxed, his teeth no longer on edge. ¡°What about when I tell you what items we need to focus on selling? Or the displays? Or Kali? I still have reservations¨C¡± ¡°Kali is dependable. He works hard at what he does. He does good inventory management, and his security knowledge¨Cas a teen¨Cis unprecedented. Bonnie¡¯s learning a thing or two from him,¡± she countered. ¡°Yes, I know. As an unspoken rule, you should never hire a former thief. I get that. You would normally be right. But Greg, you lacked context." "Did I?" he sounded like he wanted to hear her reasoning, this time. "People don¡¯t steal for fun. They steal because they need it. Was Kali living luxuriously? No, he still goes home in the evening to an orphanage. His parents are still dead, and that¡¯s not changing. Most of his money went to keeping his friends from going to worse options. In about a year or two, he¡¯ll be on his own, with a sizable amount of money to make his future, that he earned. And I hope that by giving him a shot he wouldn¡¯t have otherwise got? I hope he grows to make the right decisions.¡± ¡°And my father?¡± She let out a soft breath. ¡°The right move on this one? I dunno. You believe he can¡¯t change?¡± ¡°I know he can¡¯t.¡± It was the quietest words she¡¯d ever heard Greg speak. It was at this moment, that she realized something very important: She didn¡¯t need Greg. She wanted Greg to be a part of the team¨Cand as a friend. He¡¯d been there at every step, keeping her out of trouble she hadn¡¯t been able to handle on her own, in the same way Bonnie had been there for her so many times when doubt started creeping in. It had crept in, many times, in those early days. Back when she was trying to figure out why she was here, still alive, still fighting monsters¨Cthough, different monsters than the ones she¡¯d seen on Earth. Greg kept her grounded, more than anything. He always gave her a sign when she needed to get serious. And despite his overly obsessive attempt to appear ever professional and not show emotion¡­He always showed quite a bit, having known him long enough, and had a way to get through to her when it felt like things were falling apart. Her gaze softened. ¡°I¡¯m not without flaws, Greg. I know I can come off as flirtatious, a little zany, and a little bit overbearing at times. Well, maybe more than a little bit, but still. I know I¡¯ve ignored things I shouldn¡¯t have, or should have dug deeper on what makes this world tick. I didn¡¯t dig, because I didn¡¯t want to know the answer. Because I was afraid the truth would be more than I could bear.¡± ¡°Such as?¡± ¡°Well, how about this: there is some god or goddess that might randomly show up to say ¡®the bill is due¡¯ without ever knowing if I even willingly agreed to be saved. Or that there was something I was supposed to do, and I¡¯ve been failing miserably. And believe me, Greg, I¡¯ve made mistakes, because I can be a touch headstrong, and because I believe there¡¯s always a good option to solving life¡¯s problems.¡± She lowered her gaze, and felt the tension melt away in her body. ¡°Or there¡¯s a terrifying thought: that my mother was the not-dead goddess of Fortune, Feo¡¯thari. A goddess who should be dead, but was instead chilling on Earth, raising me as a child, and between her and dad, was doing a bang-up awful job of it. Me coming here? Someone did it to cause massive waves.¡± Stolen story; please report. ¡°That¡¯s a theory without solid proof.¡± He didn¡¯t outright dismiss it, but the quiet tone he used, told her she might have gotten through to him. ¡°Do you really believe that?¡± ¡°Yeah, I do. You¡¯re not wrong when you said it earlier, I make waves everywhere I go, unintentionally or not. The truth is, Greg? I just want to run this damn store without drama, without scummy kings. Or without all sorts of people trying to settle scores, save kingdoms, or try to get a ¡®friend of Fiona¡¯ discount.¡± She smiled faintly at that last one. ¡°We don¡¯t actually have that discount¨C¡± he had to stop himself and laugh softly when he realized she was joking. ¡°So, that¡¯s all you¡¯ve ever wanted? I thought it was monster slaying, cute boots, and elven mischief.¡± ¡°That¡¯s all I¡¯ve ever wanted, Greg. A small place to call my own, a small team of friends to share the experience with, and build something that people love and appreciate. I don¡¯t have big dreams. But they are mine. Everything I do is to get back to that. Small dreams and big friends.¡± Greg regarded this, and his arms went to his side before he gave a gentle nod. ¡°So, when I say that I don¡¯t trust my father¡¯s altruism¡­¡± ¡°We¡¯ll do it your way, this time. However, your father did drop several hints about who we need to scope out when we get to Vale. That¡¯s gotta be worth something, right?¡± Greg glanced at the still-latched door, and she could hear the distant talk between Theo and the others before he turned back to her. ¡°I would love for us to be wrong. That my father is capable of change. But when you¡¯ve been disappointed so long¡­it¡¯s hard to keep hope going for the better, yeah?¡± ¡°Yeah. I get that.¡± She grazed her hand over the desk, the stack of crinkled papers she still had to go through in time. Then, she looked at Wingding, who had been remarkably mute this entire time. Guess this one¡¯s my decision to make, huh? Is there a chance for a good outcome, either way, I play this? Flap. It was just enough confidence for her to make this choice without hesitation, and she pushed the office door open. Theo and the ruffians were sitting idly, chatting about some kind of trading card game. Thanatos was gazing again at the paintings and turned to regard them with interest when he heard the door latch behind them. ¡°So, what¡¯ll it be?¡± ¡°We¡¯re doing this our way.¡± Greg pointed at the door. ¡°I said it before, Father, I don¡¯t need handouts. I don¡¯t need more things I can¡¯t possibly use or want. I just want a father who can be satisfied for once in his life, to not mess up his children any more than he already has. If you were going to bother pretending, you could have said, ¡®I¡¯ll help you, without asking for anything.¡¯ That¡¯s what parents do when they love their kids as people. Not tools.¡± Thanatos¡¯ reaction was muted. Fiona swore she saw a glimmer of amusement in his eyes, even as he clenched his jaw for a moment, before responding. ¡°I¡¯m disappointed, Gregory. I thought you would take this as¨C¡± ¡°No. Don¡¯t even try.¡± Fiona stepped forward, eyes narrowed. ¡°My father was constantly disappointed in me. You know why? Because I didn¡¯t conform to his vision for my future. Everything I did disappointed him. My choice in career, my choice in my hobbies¡­my choice in the people I kept company with.¡± She swallowed uncomfortably at that last one. ¡°Right or wrong decisions, I wish he¡¯d at least respected them, even if he didn¡¯t agree with them. Just once.¡± ¡°Passion only gets so far, Miss Swiftheart. You are up against a king. One who does not care for rules as much as you might think. You¡¯re going to take Greg down with you, you know that?¡± Greg stepped forward before she could get in a retort, eying his father with disdain. ¡°Well, you can always say ¡®I told you so¡¯ later if you¡¯re right. Which you probably will. You forget, father, I have friends in many places now. And they¡¯ll have our back. There¡¯s nothing you can offer me that would make me consider your plan. That said, I do appreciate knowing we have other players in Vale to keep an eye out for.¡± ¡°That information was free. But it won¡¯t do you much good,¡± Thanatos said with a sigh and nodded to the ruffians. ¡°It¡¯s late. We¡¯ll depart.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t come to my shop again unless it¡¯s strictly business above board. And don¡¯t take your little spats between the magical crime families to my doorstep, Mister Lockheed,¡± Fiona stated, ears flattened back. ¡°Because if Greg, Bonnie, my friends, or anyone else in my business gets inconvenienced or hurt because of it? I won¡¯t stop wrecking your efforts until the only thing you¡¯re selling is cautionary tales.¡± ¡°Oh, that won¡¯t be necessary.¡± Thanatos practically glided to the door, while Theo looked on in awe. ¡°Oh, in case you¡¯re ever unemployed, Mister Rovarin, do give me a ring. I do like to have competent¨C¡± ¡°I appreciate the offer, Mister Lockheed, but I¡¯m quite settled where I am.¡± Theo glanced at Fiona before giving Thanatos a scathing glare. ¡°My advice remains unchanged. Fill out your 1073-A form, and be sure to attach the 1037, and 1039¡¯s to maximize your deductions for your export fees.¡± ¡°What¡¯s that kind of advice cost?¡± he asked, sounding amused. ¡°That one¡¯s free. The next consultation is a hundred gold an hour. Quite reasonable rates, in these parts,¡± Theo replied smugly. The door bell rang eerily loud as the trio departed, and Fiona let out an exasperated groan. ¡°Why does this feel like the wrong decision in the long run? Ugh. Why is there so much drama in my shop?!¡± ¡°It¡¯s just the drama you invite in,¡± Greg replied politely. ¡°New rule. Drama is left at the door,¡± Fiona growled. ¡°Get me the chalk. It¡¯s going on the board.¡± ¡°You might disbar yourself from your own store, with a bold move like that.¡± Greg tried to hide a grin as she leered at him with deadly intent. ¡°Oh, you did not go there.¡± ¡°Um¡­should I go?¡± Theo asked hesitantly. ¡°I mean if you guys need some time alone¨C¡± ¡°Theo, sweetie?¡± she strolled over to him and hugged him. ¡°You survived one day of madness with me and didn¡¯t bolt for the nearest exit. I think you and I need a proper date.¡± His face lit up at that proposal. ¡°Just one question, though. Sweet or savory?¡± ¡°Huh?¡± she glanced at him quizzically. ¡°I mean, I know two places you might like¨Cthis little hole-in-the-wall bakery that puts out the best scones, or a little grill place near my apartment that makes really great sliders?¡± he asked, sounding hopeful. Fiona grinned at this. ¡°I run a little of each. Meet me at the shop, and drop by anytime! I gotta go give Darla props, she knows people pretty well!" ¡°Anyone ever tell you that you have a mildly intimidating, yet alluring personality?¡± he added with a smirk. ¡°What I heard was, dinner this weekend, and pick me up at five,¡± she added with a smile. "But, you might want to wait a few days to visit the shop.¡± ¡°Why¡¯s that?¡± "Because after I¡¯m done tomorrow, I might have an overly sensitive placeholder king lose his tiny mind. And possibly his soul." Theo looked at her blankly. "What exactly did you do to this guy?" "I forgot I met him twice before he showed up on the throne, I guess," she shrugged. Greg ground his teeth audibly by her. "What, I did!" "Let''s tally this one up to ''you made for a convenient figurehead." "Yeah, let''s. C''mon, let''s close up," she finished. Vol. 2, Ch. 79: Malicious Compliance Greg raised an eyebrow at the papers Fiona handed him at the shop in the morning. ¡°I¡¯ve checked. We do this, you¡¯ll be functionally broke, but free of his influence. Uh, I do have to ask...are we ready to render Barry potentially an invalid?" ¡°I¡¯ve been waiting for this day for a long time, Greg!¡± she grinned wildly, while Bonnie was trying to hold her muzzle closed in an attempt to not laugh beside her. Greg¡¯s response was to peer at the writ in front of him. His raised eyebrow and the way his voice halted, told her that he was on board. "Besides, my whole intent is to force his hand. There is zero chance he''s so stubborn, he will allow this to play out in a way that ends for him badly." Greg raised an eyebrow, silently questioning this logic. "If you say so..." "Greg. Even as much as I despise him for what he did? Letting him be turned into a vegetable on account of his own stupidity or arrogance won''t even well for anyone. Fiefdala needs a king, and I''m pretty sure I''ll get stuck with the blame for his short-sightedness," she assured him. She wanted to scream in fury at this idiot king playing games with lives, out of desperation or foolishness, but this pettiness had been earned for a few moments of pure awesomness. ¡°Now, regarding my plan, we can do this, right?¡± ¡°Well¡­yes¡­technically we can do this¡­It is an accepted currency. Fiona, do you realize how much of a chore this will be for them to sort out?¡± he asked, mouth agape. ¡°Do you know how many coins that is?¡± Doug hadn¡¯t stopped laughing as soon as she filled them in on the plan, and that tiny kobold could laugh pretty loud when he wanted. ¡°I might be inspired to try this someday. It¡¯s so evil.¡± ¡°Hey, it¡¯s a ¡®them¡¯ problem, not an ¡®us¡¯ problem guys. We need to make sure we pay the bill on time, and that there was a severe lack of gold currency available at the exchanges, and the arcane relay system broke down, and¡­you get the idea.¡± She loved to rationalize this, and how they would have no recourse. ¡°Fiona, if you do this, that blonde patsy might blow an arcane conduit,¡± Bonnie pointed out. ¡°Barry can suck on my left¨Cwait¡­ never mind,¡± she grunted as she realized how awkward that could sound. Darla twirled her tail gently around her finger, looking amused. ¡°Oh, is there something else I need to know about elves?¡± she asked as she licked her lips. ¡°Oooh no, Darla. I don''t know what goes on in the dark down under, but trust me, this used to be an insult, back where I came from,¡± Fiona responded with a flush of heat across her face. ¡°So, anyway, we¡¯re doing this.¡± ¡°How on Cepalune¡­do we even have this many in circulation?¡± Greg asked and examined the paper, practically pressing his nose at her tiny handwriting. She put her hands in the air, without an answer. ¡°Lockheed, it might surprise you, but yes, there are that many,¡± Doug answered, while Fiona clapped her hands together. ¡°Welcome to the world of malicious compliance, boys! This is where we get to have fun,¡± she cackled evilly. ¡°This sounds about on par for a Fiersday,¡± Greg sighed. ¡°Well, guess we¡¯ll go at lunchtime to make it happen. Bonnie, mind holding the fort along with Darla and Kali?¡± ¡°We need another person running the register, we¡¯re stretched a bit thin,¡± Kali commented while keeping an eye on the monitor at his station, and not even swiveling to look at them. He put one feathery finger in the air. ¡°By the way, if you¡¯re curious, this is a brilliantly evil idea, Fiona.¡± ¡°Hey, I never said I was a saint. Evil? Eh, that¡¯s for lawyers.¡±
Fiona walked into the tax office at lunch time, where a clerk who was bored out of his mind was at his desk. The man was busy doodling something on his arcanist pad. Greg accompanied her like a second shadow, and Douglas stood there regal and composed, his wings fluttering behind him. She knocked on the glass window, disturbing the balding man with a lean body and looking like he needed a good wake-up call. ¡°Hi! I¡¯m here to pay my taxes!¡± she declared through the glass and a small window with a metal mesh. It looked strangely enough like a bank teller from Earth. Out-of-date styles were universal, it seemed. She noted the glass seemed to carry several wards against spells, fire, projectiles¡­and inappropriate graffiti, if Bonnie¡¯s lessons on runes were helping spur her memory. ¡°We have the first¨Cand last installment for last name, Swiftheart, first name, Fiona. The uh, hero of Fiefdala,¡± she added with a curtsy. The man looked at her, shocked, and nearly dropped his coffee mug. ¡°Good Lunas! You¡¯re the hero? I thought I saw you at the palace regularly when I do work meetings!¡± he gasped and hastily cleared his desk. ¡°Well, um, yes. Let me check the file. I can¡¯t believe they would tax you, of all people. I heard about this, and I was mighty displeased that they would treat you like this!¡± ¡°Any chance of a windfall tax break?¡± she asked as she leaned toward the window, pursing her lips. He glanced up from his file folders and frowned. ¡°Sadly, Miss Swiftheart, no.¡± ¡°We have paperwork to file, too,¡± Greg added and handed a stack of angry, red-marked formed letters. Several of them, and she had triple-checked them. ¡°We have some grievances and some concerns about valuations. We are currently paying off the owed tax threshold, and her audit has been unnecessarily delayed. We are¡­erring on the side of caution and expecting compensation after the paperwork is sorted.¡± The clerk looked at the papers, looking more and more wide-eyed. ¡°This is¡­how did¡­why did they¡­¡± his words became more incoherent, talking mostly to himself to process just what he was reading. ¡°Did the kingdom commit fraud against you?!¡± ¡°Well, seems like someone did,¡± she replied slyly, eyes awash with amusement. ¡°They overvalued the items by¡­how much?!¡± he was flipping through pages and pages, each telling a more and more dire story than the last. ¡°I¨CI must confess, I would need to properly assess this, but¨C¡± ¡°That¡¯s okay. We can wait for the delivery,¡± she grinned. Douglas stood there, biting his snout in an attempt to not laugh. ¡°We found an expert who assessed the goods independently. He¡¯s also licensed for it!¡± ¡°Quite honestly, this level of miscalculation is fraudulent,¡± Doug said, with almost a growl to his words. Fiona could also hear the arrival coming up the street, and glanced out the window. Right on time. The clerk was already tapping a relay. ¡°Yeah, hello? I¡¯m in over my head. I have Miss Swiftheart¨Cno, you heard me right. The Hero of Fiefdala here. I need someone down here, right now. No, you daft idiot, she¡¯s not at the store, she¡¯s here, dealing with¡­yes, I see¡­¡± he trailed off, then rolled his eyes. ¡°You¡¯re also an idiot.¡± He walked to the far end of the room, likely still chewing out someone. Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original. ¡°How long do you think it takes before Barry gets wind of this?¡± Greg asked, arms folded and looking casual. Doug shrugged his wings. ¡°Knowing that twerp? Half an hour, tops.¡± The clerk returned after a moment, and tried to give them a runaround explanation that likely were words he didn''t want to utter. His entire display of vitriol was directed at his likely boss. Then she heard it. The sound of sweet revenge. ¡°As I said, Miss Swiftheart, I¡¯ll need to examine these documents¡­¡± he trailed off as the rumbling and hissing sound outside grew louder. ¡°What¡¯s that sound I hear?¡± The sound in question, was her big brain move to humiliate Barry further, and she smiled politely. ¡°It¡¯s my payment. See, the problem is, the banks have trouble agreeing that they can actually give that amount of money back to me, so I had to take a chunk of gold out after telling them yet again they can¡¯t forcibly keep me from my money. Now, they tried to stall, and they only had certain currencies, and¡­well, you know, I had to make certain arrangements.¡± That steam whistle in the background, and the sound of a low warbling beep was getting louder, and the clerk peered out the window. His eyes went wider than Kali¡¯s every time she mentioned getting poultry sandwiches for lunch at work. ¡°Um¡­what is that?¡± ¡°Oh, that? It¡¯s a steam automaton. Top of the line, big hauler! I had to rent it for the day. Oh, what¡¯s your name by the way?¡± she asked, looking for a nametag or lanyard, but failing to find any. ¡°Robertson. My uh, my friends call me Bob,¡± he said while looking aghast at the monstrous machine pulling up to the little office. ¡°Um, you know we have arcane relays to transfer gold." ¡°Oh, it¡¯s not in gold. Remember how I told you there was a teeny, tiny little problem?¡± she asked as she showed a small gap between her thumb and forefinger. He looked at her blankly. ¡°Tell me it¡¯s not what I think it is.¡± She nodded proudly at him putting two and two together. ¡°Buddy, this is not aimed at you, let me assure you of that. anything bad that happens to you, is squarely on me, and if this place doesn''t pan out for you, there''s a generous position at my shop that might magically open up. You might want to give your boss a call, he¡¯s gonna be busy,¡± she added with a slight cooing sound. Even steadfast Greg kept clearing his throat and a small chuckle emerged from his lips. ¡°Bob, you really should give him a call. And tell him to bring a wheelbarrow. Oh and shovels, too.¡± Five minutes later, Bob¡¯s boss was there, looking on in dismay as that steam automaton dumped its payload of cargo. An entire cascade of copper coins¨Cthe most Fiona had ever seen in one place¨Cstarted to emerge. It was a deluge of metallic discs clanging and clinking to the ground. It was the most satisfying sound she¡¯d ever heard in her life as she rubbed her hands together. ¡°You understand, of course, that this was the easiest way I could get the payment to you guys on short notice. Who knew this kind of thing could happen?¡± A shorter, meaner, surlier-looking dwarven man with a bushy black beard glared at the driver of the automaton. The driver was using a broom to get the last few coppers out of the back of the cargo bay, and leaned toward Fiona, motioning to her ¡°Oh, I also need to get a receipt. Can you sign here, saying we delivered on time?¡± ¡°Sure thing! Thank you, Dylan, I appreciate it! Five-star delivery for a rating, you guys did great!¡± She squealed as she flourished the pen to sign her initials. The man bowed softly before taking off, with a few stray coppers falling off the back of the truck, making distant clinking sounds. The dwarf had stood there in silence for a few minutes, in disbelief. ¡°Miss Swiftheart. What in the hell is this?¡± he finally asked, folding his arms and looking nonplussed. ¡°My payment. One hundred and thirty-three thousand, three hundred and thirty-SEVEN gold equivalent,¡± she finished with a leering smile. ¡°Payable to the crown¡¯s treasury. You can count it if you like.¡± ¡°This is¡­¡± he stared at the massive pile of coins, then the wheelbarrow, then to Bob, who was still looking like a deer in the headlights. The dwarf looked pissed. ¡°That is not payment. That¡¯s a hazard and a giant pain in my ass, is what that is!¡± he fumed, and looked like he wanted to swing the shovel into the air. Which, for him, would have been a really bad idea. ¡°Oh, where¡¯s the love? I even rounded up!¡± she said sweetly, and he gripped his beard with both hands and gave a mighty tug. That must have been painful, because, despite his fervor, he winced at the maneuver. ¡°Look, this is the accepted currency of Fiefdala, is it not?¡± ¡°There is no way this is¨C¡± ¡°Halsin. It¡¯s legit,¡± Bob whispered and showed him something on his arcanist pad. The dwarf grabbed the pad, and put it so close to his nose it almost brushed against the surface, and his eyes flickered back and forth. He narrowed his eyes as he read the last line, and glanced at Fiona, who was doing her best to keep a straight face. This was too priceless to not be elated about. The dwarf set the pad down back into his coworker''s hands, and then pulled out his arcane relay. ¡°Get me Greybeard¡¯s palace contact. No, not the Greybeard, the beardless one¨Cyou know who I mean, dimwit!¡± he snapped into the relay and then clicked it close before stuffing it back into his pocket. He leered at her for a good several seconds, arms crossed, before a small smirk emerged across his lips and leathery face. ¡°You uh¡­put too much effort into this to not know you could get away with this, didn¡¯t you?¡± he asked a few seconds later. ¡°I did my homework. But it was her idea,¡± Greg shrugged and looked unapologetic. Halsin broke out into a boisterous laugh, and slapped one stubby knee with his massive hand mitts. ¡°Hahaha! Gods, I can¡¯t wait to see His Highness''s face when he comes down to see what the fuss is about!¡± he roared delightfully. ¡°Never have I ever heard of this kind of feat being pulled off, but you must be determined to piss him off!¡± ¡°What, us? Nah, I¡¯m just paying my tax bill,¡± Fiona shrugged while trying to sound innocent. ¡°Through a series of unusual circumstances.¡± ¡°Unusual, my hairy ass!¡± he laughed heartily. Bob was still looking apprehensive. His boss laughing like this must be a rare event. ¡°Lass, you know something, even though this is going to be a mess to clean up and count, the look on that smug prick¡¯s face is going to be worth it!¡± ¡°Halsin, he¡¯s¨C¡± ¡°The regent king, yeah, I get it. Rikkard will return from holiday soon enough, and will see his son is mucking things up. Even better that you¡¯re doing it to the place he used to work in,¡± Halsin beamed and offered a firm handshake to Fiona, Greg, and even one to Doug. ¡°Now in the official dialect, thank you for making your agreed-upon payment, on time. We appreciate your candor and honesty through these troubled times,¡± he added, even as he grinned. ¡°Speaking of which, look who''s leering at us from the street,¡± Greg pointed out. The royal automaton machine could be seen in the distance, and Fiona could see with her elven eyes that pasty face and bad haircut of Barry the Beardless. ¡°Ten gold says he blows a blood vessel,¡± Doug wagered. ¡°I¡¯ll take that action and make it twenty,¡± Greg replied with a smirk as the two shook hands beside her. Barry was beyond pissed. That wild-eyed look and malicious sneer on his face, told her he was one nudge away from stark raving mad.