Libertas - the name it chooses not to use for itself - knows it might come across as cruel to most. It knows it does, to some.
That is fair. It brings it no joy to know that, any more than it does to leave people languish, despite the freedom it stands for, across existence.
Or beyond.
Ib knows no more of the creations beyond its own than a sailor does of a storm-wreathed island on the horizon. It believes it could learn, but the circumstances are not such that it can do that. It should feel strange, for a being so far beyond time not to find enough to indulge itself, but then, a sliver of such a being losing its memories was not common either.
Remembering itself had felt not like coming home, but like realising it had always been there, despite thinking itself lost. Ib fancied that, hadit somehow gained a fraction of its true power before it had returned to the Free Fleet, it could''ve remade its mind.
Alas, such things did not simply happen. Sometimes, there were stories to be told. The Dream that is existence does not always make sense - dreams are dreams, even those of Makers - but when it develops structure...
Ib has its role to play, and is free to act, within that role. Perhaps, once that is done, it will be able to spread the Idea it is across existence, but, until then, it has its duties to perform in its corner of the dream.
The Creator of all Ib knows talks in its sleep, sometimes - for lack of a better term. Mortals, and some immortals, perceive those ur-words as events of cosmic scale and significance, but Ib sees more clearly. It can hear them, not their echoes, and glimpse them, not their shadows. From these, it tries to decipher the insights the sleeping Maker unknowingly offers.
It -Ib th thinks - is going to play a role, at the end (whether the end of all, or the end of finitude, remains to be seen), but it will be merely one of an endless gathering. It will only stand out because of its deeds prior to that. This is both fate and ambition, for Ib knows what it must do, and it will be damned if it falters.
Learning this - "this" being the story of creation - is not about it was sobering at first (something even worse than what it might or might not do?), but after closer reflection, it became amusing, in a reassuring way. Looking back, after it regained its memories but before it truly grasped them for the first (?) time, it, maybe possessed by vanity, had thought its tale that of a hero, the hero.
A powerful, innocent, even naive being, unable to remember its past or know itself, guided by an older friend and bonding with a newfound, aloof one...for a time, it almost missed the fact it was Ryzhan who mattered, in this regard.
It is all about Ryzhan. That much is a fact, even if the details are harder for it to reach than the stars are for the things that crawled and burrowed in the ground.
At the end, Ryzhan would do something - or not - and everything would change. If Ib is to guess, it was going to be about memories, his or someone else''s. Whether his magic was going to be involved or not (though, even if not, Ib was happy its mage friend was more at peace with himself nowadays...to a degree. Even if his power would not be needed, he enjoyed having it, and anything that made its friends happy made it happy), and Ib did not know, something was going to have to be remembered.
In a fit of pessimism, Ib thinks that, perhaps, the mage will get the chance to jot down everything that had been, before the end comes for everyone. Ib briefly entertains the thought, and its great shoulders rise in a shrug as it runs over water.
Better for all there was to be known, for once, for an instant, than to fade unfathomed.
It is, Ib reasons, not unlike how it is better to struggle and love and hate and die than to wither after a life of apathy. That a deathless being like it thinks of such mortal notions is, it believes, a good sign.
Were it more distant, perhaps it would act even less than it does, or not at all, letting everyone fend for themselves in the name of (a slovenly fool''s idea of) freedom.
Ib laughs at itself. Self-deprecation helps ward off the arrogance that so often comes with power. Aye, aye, not resting on its laurels is all well and good (how much has it accomplished since its memories returned, truly...?), but bugger that.
Trying to forget about its friends by contemplating the end of all things was about as useful as fretting over them like a mother hen.
Ryzhan, the who is to be the centrepiece of what is coming, is facing off with his own past - again. Not that Ib is one to talk about dredging up old hurts; it does not seek to disparage the mage, but it regrets that he still, still has not made peace with what lays behind him.
Ib has not, itself, it if is being honest. Sure enough, it spared - no other word does it justice - its creator and their fellows, but it was not out of forgiveness. Ib does not think it, though it is vast and contain multitudes, has it in itself to forgive them.
But it is sure they will not die without its forgiveness - except, perhaps, literally.
Ib''s face morphs into a smile, as it often does when contemplating bright futures, then returns to its normal, featureless state, before becoming a frown.
The immediate future is not so bright, in any sense.
Ib only feels the air change at this distance thanks to its inhuman senses; the dark cloud on the horizon is still far away, for Ib''s sight also extends far farther than most Midworlders''.
The air already tastes bitter to the giant, heavy and sulphurous. In the distance, within the smoke, it glimpses something broad and towering, Between the stench, the heat - the water is boiling for leagues around the island - and the rumbling that shakes the land and the water, Ib imagines a human might be tempted to believe the silhouette in the smoke a volcano.
Ib knows better.
Its journey, like travels such as it do, ends not when it crosses some well-defined distance, but when it is proper for it to stop; once the giant ceases focusing on its - tch - surface-level impressions of the island, the distance to it begins shortening.
The island almost seems to move closer, as if to meet Ib. Somehow, the grey being does not feel grateful.
It''d rather the place stay away, even if the reason it is here, quite unlike the reason it wishes it was here, requires setting foot on that sooty land.
Ib can practically feel the slavery, like chains tightening around its broad shoulders. Not a daymare (and the namesake of the first among Fear''s daughters brings a smile to its face, despite everything), not a reminiscence of its time in the Free Fleet, but a reflex to what its senses tell it.
Ib can see the ties that bind, spun from power, crisscrossing the soil, the sea, the sky, linking all who dwell inside, below and above its destination together - and to the creature at the centre, surveying her domain in sated supremacy, like the queen of a hive.
It can hear the voices raised in spineless adoration, thanks to its animus, for they are still out of earshot. It can feel fawning excuse for love, burning as brightly as when it was born, brushing against the edges of its spirt.
"Just remember, Freedom," Mendax said, going for a moniker only scarcely less annoying than Libertas (it was not the word, Ib told itself; that was pleasing to the ear. It was the fact that it reminded the giant of its origin, and the purpose chosen for it). The schemer, who had rarely seen a path for creation''s survival it hadn''t taken, leaned closer, a smile, small and fond, unlike its usual wide, mocking grin, flickered in the shadows of its grey hood. "Some chains are worn willingly, and gladly. Not all devotion is forced."
Ib decided not to quibble with its brother by nature, for it knew Mendax was as stubborn, in its own way, as it was.
But that didn''t make it less wrong.
* * *
Perhaps, Ib muses for itself, the Free Fleet''s fears are unfounded.
That statement would seem obvious to anyone who knows of them. Of course, people choosing for themselves, in the spirit of true freedom, is not a threat to anything but the Fleet''s tyranny.
But their fears about Ib, the grey being thinks, do not make much sense, either.
Mistreating someone you created, shackling them for fear of them overthrowing you, cannot lead to anything but a self-fulfilling prophecy. The Fleet''s destruction, such as it will be, is long in the coming, however, Ib is sure, and its instincts agree. Whether they will be obliterated or changed, willingly or for their own good, are just details.
But its creator''s worries, about Ib crowning itself as a god-king of...anything, sound so ridiculous now, even more so than they did when shared with the giant.
''I,'' Ib says to itself, ''was not made to be worshipped.''
Truth. That was not the purpose its maker had in mind, and the grey being''s nature is even less inclined towards such now.
Around it, Midworld shifts subtly, while in the deepest layer of creation, the shape that is the Idea of Freedom turns, displaying a new, old facet.
No crowns for Ib, no hands raised in prayer. It is content with this (it tells itself).
The giant''s gaze, eyeless until it reminds itself to mind its companion - not all are familiar with its blank visage as its crew - drops to its self-styled, self-appointed guide.
Ib does not believe there is any realm, in creation or beyond, where it could get lost, for that would be akin to being trapped, and itis freedom itself. However, it is only proper, it supposes, that it indulges the...native.
This is not politeness, it tells itself once more. It''s just about avoiding fuss. Worshippers of anything, in its experience, tend to be fussy, especially when it comes to the object of their obsession.
Ib cannot pretend to understand it in anything but the most abstract sense, and it does not want to learn more. Maybe, at some point, it will open up one of these faithful, to see what makes them give themselves up, placing their destiny in their mistress'' claws, but until then? It has no desire to foul its mind with this kind of insanity.
''You seem upset, stranger,'' its guide says in a high, trilling voice. It''s strange, Ib thinks: you''d expect a matronly woman like her to have a deeper voice, warbling or mannish, but she sounds like a girl.
She - Qarkha; she gave her name and insisted it be used. What harm is there in humouring her? - is taller than most women Ib knows, as well as most men, as far as humans go. She was strong once, the muscles can still be glimpsed under the fat, but even with her round, aging body, she''s far from weak.
Ib feels a twinge of annoyance. Qarkha''s mistress insists she be immortalised - as if she isn''t already deathless and eternal; so tacky - in song and painting and sculpture, but she does not even increase her worshippers'' lifespan or vitality. Selfishness, probably, and cruelty is not unlikely either: you''d need either or both to ask to be treated like a good, not to mention a hefty amount of insanity to refuse to be called a deity, let alone say you are different from one.
But, Ib supposes, it is not that surprising for gods to be creatures of whimsy...even when they deny their divinity.
''Appearances can be deceiving,'' Ib rumbles in reply, sounding gruffer than it intended. It''ll do, it decides, even as it see the woman flinch subtly. Likely, she hasn''t noticed it herself.
Would she have, even if her head wasn''t filled with nonsensical dogma? Ib discovers it does not really care.
''A-Ah...yes, your shapeshifting'' Qarkha says, trying to stand up straighter, pulling her cloak around herself like her dignity will follow - but there''d need to be some in the first place, wouldn''t it?
Clearing her voice, the woman continues, ''Many come to our Mistress uncertain, unsure of their bodies, minds and spirits.'' And remain broken in all but the first. Even that is not always true. ''But most of them remained here, and found all of themselves permeated by serenity.'' At this, she clasps her hands together so that the sleeves of her robes slide over them, a trick the giant has observed people dress like this for, even if they hate the clothes themselves. A warm, happy smile brightens her doughy, dusky features. ''Why, my wife and I have found ourselves growing closer ever since we washed up on the shores of Mistress'' domains.''
Ib lets the frankly appalling appellation slide, unable to think that it would''ve been kinder if the women had drowned like the rest of their fleet had, like Qarkha had told it earlier. ''What happens to those who don''t find themselves...'' Can it say the words without scoffing? ''...permeated by serenity?''
''Hmm? Qarkha looks up at Ib, her movements as birdlike as her voice.
''You said those who remain become serene. What about the ones who don''t? Why''d they leave?''
''Oh! Them.'' Qarkha makes a dismissive sound, blowing a raspberry. It looks ridiculous, coming from a grandmotherly woman like her, and makes her look childish, not younger. ''Don''t worry about them. Those too foolish to accept Mistress'' grace,'' Ib can practically see her turning her nose up, ''are turned away.''This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
''Peacefully, I''m sure,'' Ib drawls.
''Well, of course! If they cannot behave and believe, they have no place here.''
Ib scratches its square jaw, for her benefit. Most humans can''t tell when it''s thinking. ''But what if, though they don''t have it in themselves to believe, they are hungry? Thirsty? Sick, wounded, desperate? Does your...'' is that damned temple going to get any closer? Ib swears, this is like its walk over the sea. ''Does your mistress turn them away, even then?''
Qarkha rolls her eyes with an impish smirk, as if the grey being shared a joke. ''Do you know who else was with Vreena and I when we arrived?''
What not? ''But you said you two washed ashore...?''
Qarkha stops, raising a hand and pointing two fingers at Ib. ''No other people were with us. But, so you might understand, I will speak of those who were as if they were people.''
Somehow, Ib doesn''t think this is going to be something as harmless as pets that had to be put down. ''Do tell,'' it says in a low voice, lower arms on its hips.
''Vree''s parents - that is, those who brought her into the world, not our Mother - were not against our union. Like many of our fleet, they saw such marriages as beneficial when there were enough people to work and fight, since there was no chance of accidentally having children. My father was of a duller bent, but went along because he did not wish to be ostracised or abandoned.''
Ib can already feel an ugly scowl coming. ''Her parents had to leave because they wouldn''t worship?''
''They would not leave, either,'' Qarkha says briskly. ''They saw this bounty,'' she gestures at the lush orchards and fields stretching into the distance, implausibly fertile even for such an island, whose soil is rich with volcanic ash. Drawing vitality from the metaphysical significance of that substance, most likely. ''And they said it would be insanity to send them back to the sea, when there was enough for everyone.'' She huffs. ''Fools.''
''And why is that?'' Ib challenges, trying to keep its voice down and its hands still.
Qarkha bites her lip, fingering the base of her hood. ''Do you know what it means to be faithful?''
Ib swallows its first three responses. ''Enlighten me.''
She nods, closing her eyes and inclining her head like a generous sage, or some nonsense. ''It means to put Mistress above everything, as is only proper. Mistress gives everything we need, and takes everything we don''t.'' Her eyes snap open. ''Enemies included. To believe means to accept her truth, and become capable of letting go of lesser attachments.''
''But you are still married?''
Qarkha shakes her head, fishing out a necklace from the depths of her cowl. On it, above a handful of baubles and beneath a dragon in flight, wrought in black gold, is a silk knot. It might have once been a pretty pink colour, and bigger, but now, it''s almost white, and frayed. ''Do not misunderstand,'' Qarkha says in a placid, patient voice. ''If Mistress demanded I cut my wife''s arms off and beat her to death with it, I would.''
Ib manages not to punch her head off. ''Oh? And why is that?''
''I sense you disapprove.'' She wags a finger at the grey giant as if it were a child. ''Do not. Only the most foolish do so, at the beginning, and only by shedding such ignorance can they hope to stay.''
Ib almost laughs out loud. She thinks it''s here to convert?! ''I''ll keep that in mind,'' it chuckles, and Qarkha bristles, but holds her tongue, and so keeps it.
''Anyhow.'' She puts the necklace back, and her hands return to her sleeves. ''Mistress would have a reason. It would not be my place to ask, though I would be honoured to be enlightened.''
Such blind trust, Ib can only draw a comparison with its earliest days. ''And would you not hesitate? Grieve?'' Ib does not think it has ever known love like the one spouses share, but it cares for its friends enough that...
No. It would not kill one of them and not tell the others why. Not forever.
Qarkha giggles. ''Oh, Vree and I love each other, make no mistake, but what is the love of mortals compared to love for Mistress? Just like our hate, our amusements...our hopes and dreams and nightmares, it''s so...petty, in comparison to her.''
Ib makes an unhappy sound. ''And you said you''ve been acolytes for months?'' The passage of this island''s seasons is artificial and carefully controlled, by obviously, this mistress.
''Mhm!'' She rubs her forearms in a girlish, nervous gesture. ''We are hoping to be accepted within the year, lest we be banished for faithlessness.''
And there''s the rub. ''And what would faithlessness entail?'' Ib does not bother with a honeyed voice or friendly posture. If nothing else, she''s probably aware, by now, that it doesn''t like her.
''I''ve already told you,'' she says calmly. '' ''Tis holding on to childish attachments instead of recognising Her greatness.''
This sounds so much like the archetypal fanatic''s drivel, Ib is almost tempted to dismiss it out of hand - almost. But, if it hasn''t destroyed the Fleet where it was born yet, it can withstand this conversation, rather than abandon its guide in order to find someone with more brains and less conviction.
Besides, ditching its guide wouldn''t be taken well. It''s, it can tell, one of those islands.
As such, it nods instead, squatting to be closer to Qarkha''s height. ''So even if you said that she is the greatest being alive, and dwelt here in devotion to her, singing her praises and enjoying the bounty and protection she provides...you would be faithless?''
Qarkha claima that you would, indeed, be. ''For speaking is not the same as believing, and lying about faith is vile.''
Ib removes its hands from its knees and stood up straight. The temple - the Temple of Initiation, according to Qarkha - seems closer than ever, now that he understood more of this faith. As visual metaphors go, it could be subtler, but it serves well enough.
''Qarkha,'' the giant says, ''you say you are taking me there so I may speak with your mistress, and I am sure that is true enough; but you''re hoping I will join your ranks, aren''t you?''
The acolyte smiles sheepishly, spreading her hands. ''A harmless deceit, you will agree, and easily seen through.''
And yet attempted all the same. ''Am I to believe this desire innocent, with you knowing what I am?''
At this, her gaze becomes bemused. ''You are a member of an actor troupe...yes? Large and able to change form...''
The first part, it revealed during its introduction, and the second even a one-eyed man could see. Did it underestimate her arcane sense? Ib knows she can see minds and spirits and what moves in them...is her subtle sight duller than it thought? ''And what if I told you I have great power?'' it asks. ''Power to, were there no one to pit their will against mine, unmake this island? Would you not want me amongst your ranks then''
Ib senses a jolt of fear as it reveals a sliver of its abilities, but it is quickly replaced by something like eagerness. ''Even such a being like you might find purpose under Her...'' Qarkha whispers, an almost rapturous look on her face.
Despite itself, Ib chuckles. ''I have a home to return to, one I am not looking to abandon any soon. This is a stop on my journey; I am here to put my skills to work, not remain.'' Really, introducing itself as an actor should''ve tipped her off.
Qarkha''s lips become a thin line, and she looks thoughtful. ''I suppose even Mistress might appreciate theatre, short as it falls of the celebrations meant to honour Her...''
It is good, Ib thinks, that it lacks the stereotypical actor''s ego, or that might have offended it. Yet, even the most flamboyant of entertainers would tread lightly qround here, rather than denounce the grandness of those ceremonies.
This is not the sort of place Ib would have chosen to perform in. But it has its purpose, and Ryz and the captain have theirs. It would not do to fall short of them, when it was the one who sent them on errands.
* * *
By the time Ib makes its way through the temple''s doors, it is alone; and in this place, as alien to its nature as it can be while allowing a fragment of free will to persist, it feels as lonely as before Mharra found it, in the rare moments of lucidity it enjoyed in those days.
According to Qarkha, people mostly come here when they are introduced to the faith (she capitalises it, and offers no alternative name. Not an uncommon occurence, in Midworld, though most "Faiths" do not maintain such a stranglehold on the worshippers'' lives) and when they are accepted into the fold. For most travellers, meeting the island''s Mistress quickly results into converting.
Usually, it has been told, people do not enter alone to talk, and usually, there are people who have long worshipped in the background, to subtly pressure the newcomers, Ib is sure.
This, then, is a double exception, for Ib is alone, and there are no watchers between or behind the great spiralling pillars holding up the roof, which resembles a pair of batlike wings folded over each other.
On the pillars, there are spots where it can be seen stone once flowed. Now, they hang off the main mass like wax on a cold candle.
The roof, also shaped by fire and claws, sports no such flaws, but then, it makes sense, doesn''t it? Of course this self-effacing goddes wouldn''t have a graven image of her wings tainted by imperfections.
Ib wonders if there might be more than ego at work, here. Another visual metaphor? The Mistress, held up by flawed beings? She...no, she wouldn''t say she needs any kind of support, even if it were true, and she plainly does not need the help of humans.
The Mistress, exalted by those below her, then.
There is no trace of magic in the air or stone, no lingering enchantment. No spellcraft was employed here, but a dragon''s flame and claws and tongue, to melt the bones of the earth and mould them.
Ib has observed enough dragons from afar to know young ones would not have the patience for this, and most of their elders would not have the desire. Of those dragons who were humanlike in thought (in truth, it was the other way around, given the ages of the species, at least in Midworld), most would have been unable to tolerate the questions and praises of weak mortals unable to understand them.
As good a reason to refuse worship as any, Ib supposes.
The Mistress is one of what dragons call the thinking kin, and an old one at that, given her prowess with dragonfire - as old as she is strange. If she is willing to demand adoration, why stick to one island? Surely her ego is not so easily sated?
The doors close behind Ib with a thunderous boom that would make mush of humans. As the thunderclap passes harmlessly over it, the grey being thinks this must be the result of a flair for the dramatic, for none of the people it has met on this island could have survived it.
They have no visible hinges either, or any other mechanisms, simply sliding from the sides of the temple''s opening. Ib, despite its distaste for the dragon and everything she stands for, cannot fault the concept. It can easily imagine starved, half-mad sailors being awed by all of this, as if they''d need much convincing.
The Mistress awaits at the heart of the temple, lounging in something more nest than altar. To Ib''s relief, there is no clutch of eggs surrounded by her wings or tail, waiting to hatch into a new generation of dragons she''d doubtlessly pass her nonsense on to.
Just a matter of taste, then. That is no problem. If her tastelessness had been dangerous, Ib would''ve fallen on the shore, when faced with that gaudy monument that resembles a volcano from a distance. It is meant to, it has been told, represent the Mistress'' triumph over all enemies of her people, past and possible, hence the mound of indistinct shapes under her statue''s claws.
Ib thinks it just looks like garbage atop garbage.
As Ib approaches, it sees that the temple is far larger on the inside than the outside, and for good reason: beings able to cross most cosmoses in the smallest amount of time there is would spend lifetimes just to cross half of the dragoness'' pupil, and her eyes would be nearly impossible to see in comparison to her body, even if they weren''t both dark as obsidian.
Indeed, Ib doubts Mharra, for example, would spot the difference between eye and scale, let alone the shades of black that comprises pupil and iris and sclera.
Dragons grow with age, in both piwer and stature. After their first millennium passes, they are tens of metres long, larger than most of Midworld''s whales and able to swallow an elephant whole. How many eons, then, this being must have spent growing...
''Libertas,'' she rumbles, ''come at last.''
''You''ve a name for me,'' Ib replies, ''yet I''ve no name for you.''
''I suppose it is too much to ask that you adress me as my people do?''
Ib''s face ripples into a frown. ''You already have me a nane I despise, and that is mine. You would give me two?''
She laughs, good-naturedly, and this is already unlike the confrontation Ib expected - aye, craved. Indeed, it hardly feels like a confrontation at all. ''Then, you can give me a name as well, and should I despise it, I will bear it in silence.''
''How two-faced,'' Ib harrumphs, not willing to be undone by her disarming fa?ade. ''Were I human, you would be demanding I bow and scrape and swear devotion, or depart.'' It would spit, but there is no flyid in its form as might be found within a man''s body.
''How hypocritical,'' she retorts, still calm. ''Would you claim you are honest in your dealings with all, when you deceive even your crewmates?''
''Withholding the truth is nothing like lying,'' Ib answers. ''And what I do for their good, and out of love for them, cannot be compared to what you oversee here.''
''Why?'' she asks, amused. ''Do you think I hate my worshippers?''
''You certainly do not cherish them,'' the giant replies. ''For they are merely playthings to you. Pets, maybe. But a gilded cage is still a cage.'' It shakes its head, gesturing at the exit and what lays beyond it. ''If you needed this, any of this, you would be a mere parasite, if a vile one. But this is tyranny. What do you need their faith, when you can grow your own might at will?''
''Who does not desire love?'' the dragoness asks.
''Love-?!''
''Freedom, wait.'' She holds up a clawed paw, sniggering. ''I know you are incensed at being opposed, but that is no excuse for this misunderstanding. Aye, it seems almost...deliberate.''
Ib scoffs. ''You are not a trickster fit to deceive me,'' it warns her.
''And I''ve no need to be, for I shall defeat you with the truth.'' She stands up, spreading her wings, and her eyes gleam as she meets Ib''s gaze. ''Tere are things not meant to be knkwn yet, even by us timeless ones, in this dream you inhabit. But that you miss the nature of the land you stand upon is merely willful ignorance.''
Oh, this ought to be good...
She goes on, despite its dismissive stance. ''First, you might name me after the Ashen Isle I rule, but that is your choice. As for you ignorance...'' she sighs, giving it a fondly exasperated look.
Ib tries not to look baffled. Instead, holding on to its outrage, it says, ''What of it? Tell me how I am wrong, and I might even enter your service.''
She giggles at its offhand remark. ''Careful, my dear: once I have you in chains, I might never let go...'' Her smile dims as she trails off, though it''s still warm and wide. ''You seem to believe I''m some sort of unchallengeable despot, holding sway over a terrified mob.''
When it makes no remarks, she goes on. ''I am goddess-queen of the isle, yes; I make the laws. But that makes me no more a tyrant of this land than your captain is a tyrant of his ship.''
A ridiculous notion, and they haven''t even reached the inevitable contradictions yet. ''Sole rule is not the issue,'' Ib says. ''Cruelty is. The thirst for power is.''
'' ''Tis good, then, that I am burdened by neither,'' she says, but before Ib can form eyes to roll, she continues. ''If I lie, it is for the same reasons you omit the truth.''
She opens a paw, then raises it. ''Think about it. Nearly every culture in Midworld - every extant one - is suspicious towards outsiders, those who would waste resources or subvert the social order.''
Ib is about to protest that this is not the case here, that everyone has plenty and that she onviously keeps order, but she holds up a finger, shushing it. ''Ah ah ah! Let me finish...''
It does. To its mild surprise, the patronising interruption does not offend it as much as it should.
Apathy. It must have burned through its anger at this place.
She clasps her front paws, resting her muzzle on it. ''If you saw me ask a mother to put me before her newborn, you would decry it as odious, even if practically every captain on the seas makes such requests when they don''t just give orders.'' She regards him with lidded eyes. ''What is the problem, then? That I am a person, rather than a creed?''
Ib almost says that she has the means to make every Midworlder forget about scarcity, but then, so do the Great Powers, and it''s not knocking on their doors to reprimand them.
This dragoness and her servants, they are not a Great Power only because they keep to themselves, Ib realises.
She smiles gently. ''You will forgive me for catching your surface thoughts - some of us call it seeing blindly - but you also have the means to make everyone''s life plentiful, and yet do not. Nor do you stop those who wish for death from rushing to their fates.'' She spreads her forelegs. ''And yet, no one is rushing after your crew to call you monsters...''
It expected this. ''Neither I nor my crew would demand worship in exchange for aid,'' Ib counters. ''Nor would the Great Powers.''
She looks aside, smirking, flames lighting up her nostrils and maw, behind her fangs. Looking back at Ib, she says, ''Let us leave aside the similiarities between what I ask for and what, for example, the philosophy of the Free Fleet demands. You don''t need idols or preachers or scriptures to have a religion. Let us speak of this island, instead.''
She becomes a cloud of smoke, drifting closer to Ib and shrinking as she does so, until she matches its stature. ''Hear me: all my people have here, they made themselves.''
Seeing its blank countenance, she begins slowly spinning around him as she speaks. ''You know very well the potential everyone has. You needn''t be a mage to shape existence, even as it shapes you.''
Ib clears its throat, a habit it has picked up from Mharra. ''Are you saying your isle is fertile because they think it is? They clearly believe the bounty comes from you.''
''I am not so weak as to bend to their beliefs,'' she says softly. ''They believe there is plenty, gifted by me, aye, and when their thoughts clash against my will, and rebound, they become reality.''
Ib grunts. ''If that is so, why the deception? The cult? Narcissism?''
She giggles again. ''You would like to think so, hmm? The first of them began praying to me after I repelled the first great invasion of the Ashen Isle. Directing them towards the endeavours whose results you have seen is a way to channel their energies, and you know what mankind can get up to when restless.''
She shakes what passes for her head. ''I will not deny that I appreciate it - but, in the end, the rituals'' purpose is to bind them together, give them something to share so they might share strength as well. The exiles you have heard of are banished lest they tear asunder the fabric of society, not out of malice, even if it might appear as such to you.''
Of course she would say that. ''And what of those who remain, yet distupt the workings of your realm after years or decades?''
She lowers her head, such as it is, and her mirth is gone when she responds. ''They are dealt with in accordance to their crime. I believe you are familiar with the concept.''
Ib grumbles noncommitally. ''In the end, you remain as hidebound as you are proud. You do not even give your people power or knowledge, choosing to leave them chasing their tails. And, no matter how well-intentioned they seem to you, your lies are still lies.''
She makes an exasperated gesture with a smoky limb. ''Let us cut to the meat of the matter, Ib: all you''ve listed are merely secondary annoyances. The comings and goings of a land you''re visiting only briefly. What truly irks you is my nature, as opposed to yours as our manners are.''
Not a lie. She is not the Idea of Devotion, but she is as intertwined with it as Ib''s corpus.
Ib turns away from her. ''It is not natural for people to slaughter their loved ones at the word of a leader, without even an explanation.''
''And you, who would slaughter your crew if it meant all of creation would become freer, safer? Is that natural?''
''...It is necessary.''
She runs a hand over its clenched fist, and it allows her to open it, which she does while smiling up at her. ''I understand. Between what you are and the nature of your body within this world, how could you do aught but distrust those like me? Worry not,'' she whispers, leaning closer, ''I forgive you.''
Ridiculous. ''I need your forgiveness like I need a hole in my head,'' it snaps lightly, tearing its hand free of her grasp.
''Nevertheless, it is given.''
Hmph. Crossing its arms, Ib says, ''My like or dislike of you does not matter. You might be a spectator, or not. The show will take place.''
Much the same could be said of creation''s situation, but Ib is not going to elaborate, not with her.
The dragoness hums, mildly disapproving. ''Stubborn, stubborn. That you could talk about necessity and rebuke me in the same breath was amusing, so I will bear no grudge.'' Her form sways as she makes her way to Ib, placing a hand on its chest. ''Are you scared of devotion to a higher being, my dear rival? Is that it? You never railed against you captain when you were bereft of memories, but then, you were never truly lesser than him, were you?''
She bumps its hip with hers as she moves away, then stops, looking at it over her shoulder. ''Let us be frank with each other: you get on my nerves nearly as much as I get on yours, if not more so. Something must be done.''
''And what do you suggest?'' Ib mutters, unfolding its arms.
The dragoness'' smile returns, more mischievous than before. ''Some of my faithful sometimes find themselves called here, to partake in a communion with their Mistress.''
That does not sound at all imbalanced - and why does Ib have this feeling families participate sometimes?
...Not that it is its business. None of this place''s traditions are. ''No, thank you.''
''Are you sure?'' she asks, and the next instant, her form has become that of a woman, ash-grey of flesh, with the parts that would be hidden by clothes, were she human, being as dark as her scales. She makes to take a step closer, but Ib holds up a hand, turning its head and shutting off its sight at the same time.
''You are very generous,'' it says tersely, ''but I do not even know if I have such urges, honestly.''
She plants her hands on her hips. ''You did not avert your gaze when I was unclothed yet scaled. What is the difference?''
''There are several differences,'' Ib says tightly, choosing not to mention them. ''And no need to bare yourself, in any case.'' Just because it dislikes her doesn''t mean she doesn''t deserve dignity.
''Tch...'' she tosses her long raven hair. ''You could at least call me Ashe, after my isle. You keep thinking of me as "she" and it is getting tiring.''
''Very well,'' it agrees. ''Now, if you do not mind, I would take my leave...'' The sound of claws scraping together fills the cavernous room.
''Hmm?'' "Ashe" smiles, gradually returning to her initial form. "Let us be honest, if we don''t tear each other to shreds, you''ll start pouting as soon as I heckle you.''
''Any advantage this shape could give you is meaningless in the face of your power,'' Ib points out.
''It does not give you the disadvantage of being something you choose not to look at,'' Ashe teases.
''What about clothes?''
''What about them?''
Of course she''d say that...not that Ib is one to complain.
* * *
Aina is hiding her smile behind one hand as she watches Ryzhan''s most powerful crewmate take its place at the centre of a molten stone stage. She hopes the Idea of Freedom will return to this island; it would be a shame if it doesn''t.
Now, the show''s about to begin. She wonders if each actor will begin by introducing themselves...
Book IV, Chapter 6
Ryzhan
I was not so acquainted with hospitals that I could say I always disliked all of them - I''d only been in a few -, but the chamber I entered resembled the ones I knew, and did little to ender itself to me.
Until the first time, I''d never been in a place of healing bigger than my first home. Most islands had a village doctor''s hut, most ships the doctor''s cabin and maybe some nearby rooms taken over and filled with medicines out of necessity. But hospitals were houses of healing where recovery was industrialised as much as smithing was in those cultures that sought to emulate the Free Fleet.
In my experience, hospitals were barren places, whose walls were bleached, off-white or bare more often than not; which smelled of harsh, faintly acrid substances meant to cleanse the body once imbibed or injected. Thankfully, my magic had allowed me to, by remembering my healthy days, avoid having to go to a healer too often. When I''d needed to, because of some poison or injury beyond means both mundane and those of my magic to overcome, the healer had been either a mage themselves, or someone similarly endowed with otherworldly powers.
I was glad I''d never needed to go a hospital. My brief visits, out of curiosity, had taught me why some people said "clinical" when they meant cold or aloof. People wasting away in rows of beds, or chained to them because of an illness of the mind...it made me grimace to think of it.
Part of it must have been my inherent dislike towards weakness, letting people have power over me and rummage through my body, but I honestly thought I simply disliked being poked, prodded or fed concoctions.
The room Aina''s doppelganger and I arrived in did not smell as badly as the hospitals I remembered, and its walls were a white clean enough to be cheerful rather than unsettling, but I did not like them any more than I liked them. The difference was that I''d have to endure it for longer, because I was here to put on a show, not look around like a mouse out of its lair, then scurry away.
Aina lingered at the edge of my vision like a wraith, only seeming solid when I turned my head slightly, to truly look at her. I tried to pay no mind to what that implied. Thinking I was going mad or hallucinating was only going to make me paranoid and ill-tempered, the two states I''ve never needed help to achieve.
I glanced around, musing that Serene Rest''s power must''ve warped this room. There were far more beds and people inside than the room I''d glimpsed while walking down the corridor should''ve been able to hold: the doors had been wide enough I''d seen what had looked like the whole chamber. But this? This was bigger than the bloody building as a whole, maybe even the island as I''d seen it.
It made sense, I suppose. If the building had been as large on the outside as it was on the inside, it would''ve made a much bigger target for potential invaders than the inconspicuous structure I''d walked into. Not to mention the Rest would''ve had to be bigger too, which would''ve caused the same issue.
It was just my luck that no invader had ever stumbled upon this place with enough power to sink it under the waves. If anyone had come here seeking the place''s destruction, they''d likely been rendered docile and unthinking. Maybe some of the poor bastards around me had come here as would-be righteous destroyers. The thought of such an undignified end made my blood boil.
While I was weighing the chances of getting heckled and using it as an excuse to put the ensnared wretches out of their miser, the false Aina moved forward as if floating, delicately elbowing me. I gave her a glare I''d have never dared send my childhood friend, but she just looked back with mild reproach.
''Introduce yourself, Ryz,'' she whispered, indicating my soon-to-be audience with a jerk of her narrow chin. ''They''re curious.''
If I''d had more time, I''d have told her to bugger off and remember I wasn''t her Ryz, but I wanted to get out of here as fast as possible, not dawdle. Leaning on my cane like an idle lordling, I nodded as if I liked was I was seeing, lips drawn together as I hummed thoughtfully.
I did not, in fact, like what I was seeing. But, not to repeat myself...
Once, I''d gotten a grimoire at a bargain, the spell book being far cheaper than it should''ve been because something had removed its magic. As such, the rituals and incantations described in it swam in your mind when you tried to use them, though not when you tried to recall them. That had been no issue, however, because I''d bought the book just to read it, not to increase my arcane prowess.
It had costed an arm and a leg, which had once belonged to a man who''d tried to kill me (for it had been a lich''s book of death, and such things mattered) after I''d "stolen" the innkeeper he''d allegedly set his sights on. That barely worked when it came to objects you could pay for, much less hotheaded, clearly not interested women.
In any case, despite the tongue lashing he received from her for his petulance, and the thrashing he got from me when he tried to take a swing at the lady, he was undeterred. The rat bastard came for me in the night, when I lay, half-asleep, under the pleasantly plump woman. The dagger coming for my neck had woken me up as quickly as a bucket of ice water, and I''d pushed Tylha off me, before clumsily fighting that snake Pfharek off for a few heartbeats, finally managing to push him out of the window. I''d never been happier to rent a room on a building''s third storey, but that made it up for all the walks up and down the stair (the privy had been on the ground floor).
Sadly, during our struggle, Pfharek''s knife had found and opened Tylha''s throat. She barely managed to gurgle that it wasn''t my fault and that she didn''t blame me before the light left her eyes. I must admit that, between that and the questioning I got minutes later, resulting in me trying to prove I wasn''t a murderous, sadistic deviant (Pfharek, who''d been lying in the bushes, had been helpful as evidence. The jealous dog had managed not to groan in pain after his fall, though the kicks I gave him, after the inn''s staff and I made our way down, did the trick. I could almost admire the tenacity), I avoided women for a while.
That diversion aside; the lich''s grimoire, while empty of power, still contained detailed, lifelike (ahem) sketches of the creatures born from the undead mage''s imagination. The undead warlock, Victorious Honest (Frank, depending on translation) Stone had been a skilled if not humble necromancer, with a specialisation in stitching together the remains of people he dug up.
The creatures portrayed in the spell book were what Serene Rest''s inhabitants reminded me of, though there were no stiches or sutures visible on their bodies. However, their ashen complexions could''ve fooled me into thinking them lifeless. Between their grey skin and the splash of pink on their cheeks, they looked like some monster''s attempt at recreating humans out of memory, which, come to think of it, was not that far from the truth.
My skin started crawling as soon as the people (?) began walking towards me. It wasn''t that they were grotesque, or even menacing, except in the vaguest sense. But there was just enough of humanity in them for the differences to be more jarring than, say, a Seaworm bursting out of nowhere. I''ve heard it called the strange gorge effect, apparently because a traveller had once met an unsettlingly humanlike, terrifying creature while passing through a dale.
A man, if man he was, approached me, and I saw his pale skin was not unbroken, but rather, seemingly wrapped over his flesh, like a collection of bandages or leather straps. Strangely, his eyes, set where some of the "wrappings" met, did not appear out of place. Indeed, the sockets did not appear deeper than mine, despite looking like they should''ve reached deep into the "seams": dark lines I might have missed with my magic sharpening my sight, and even then, I could not tell what was under the being''s hide, if there was anything.
And here I was used to getting under people''s skin during first meetings. Perhaps I would use this in the show, during the breaks. A little comedy between the stretches of drama does not hurt.
''If only my life understood!'', I imagined myself crying with passion after a monologue, voice slowly rising as I spoke. They didn''t need to know me, in any meaningful sense. Some things, you just understood, even from men you''d never met, even from other species.
The creature that looked like a bandaged man, wearing a pair of grey trousers, a dark blue shirt, soft-looking and loose, that ended between his shoulders and elbows, stopped just of of arm''s reach, right when I began hesitantly raising my hand to shake his. I managed to disguise the aborted movement by pulling up my belt as if it were loose.
Aina spoke into my mind, tone slightly chiding. Go on, my friend. They don''t know if you like being touched - not everyone does.
Hmph, I thought back, not liking how she''d invaded my mind without permission or warning. But he must''ve seen me reaching for his hand, surely.
Not everyone shakes hands.
I supposed not. Clearing my throat, I tried to smile as affably as I could. I was pleasantly surprised to discover I''d regained my ability to fake moods, which was reassuring, after all the outbursts recently forced out of me.
''Greetings!'' I tossed my cane up, with it twirling a little in the air, and caught it by the haft when it feel, before leaning it over my shoulder. I''d always appreciated the actors who made an effort to be flamboyant and enthusiastic outside of shows. It made the performances feel more genuine, I felt There was something saddening about going to talk to the town jester in the back of the sage and meeting a dour, irate man. ''I would''ve come sooner, but ah, your land simply could not get enough of me.''
He smiled toothlessly - I caught a few white glimmers in the shadows of his mouth, though they could''ve been anything, if his insides were as strange as his outside -, just a little upwards quirk of his lips'' corners, like I''d seen from those performers who covered their faces in flour and acted like mutes, and took a small, quick breath, the sort you might in the morning, when you''re not quite awake, and which left you choking on air.
Not that a man as poised as me had ever suffered such, Vhaarn forbid.
''You are the actor,'' he said in a pleasant but hushed voice. Not quite a whisper, but like the voice of those old folk, weary of life, who sound tired, almost pleading, even when enthusiastic. ''The mage.''
Pointedly not asking how he knew (from the island?), I instead forced a cocksure grin, teeth gleaming. ''I see my reputation precedes me! Much like this lovely lady proceeds me!'' Somehow not choking on that claptrap, I flicked my wrist at Aina''s doppelganger, who accepted the empty words with a demure giggle, all but putting a hand over her mouth.
I gave her a sharp glance. I could not stand her, true, but perhaps she would make a good assistant? In at least a third of the theatres I''d frequented, it had been practically tradition for otherwise lone performers to have younger (-looking), prettier assistants of the opposite gender.
''You are the one who remembers,'' the man said knowingly, his lipless mouth barely wavering. I did not like the sly, cunning note that had entered his tone. People who talked like they knew more than you, often encountered during card games, were rarely a pleasant sort, and often mischievous. ''Does it not hurt, to remember? Is that why you put on the smile?''
I laughed, voice high-pitched, like that of the typical contemptuous, amused aristocrat, and leaned forward, slipping an arm around the being''s shoulders like we were old friends. Bowing forward slightly, I said softly, ''It often does. But if you think I need to bury what has been under a smirk, you know me not at all.''
Straightening, I held up a hand centimetres from his face. ''Got your nose,! I said brightly, as I would have to a child still young enough to like the game. A look around showed the rest of the room''s occupants, while paying attention to me, given their postures and unblinking gazes, were not really reacting in any way. So, with an air of haughtiness, I said, ''You can laugh, you know. I''m not shy.''
A collection of reedy voices rose in polite amusement as the grey folks circled me. I smiled at each in turn, briefly - there seemed to be hundreds here, and I only had so much patience -, then, completing the slow pirouette, confirmed my initial impression hadn''t been wrong.
There were only humans here.
Or, at least, only humanlike beings. I did not see scales, feathers, beaks, tendrils or the any of the other uncanny features that might be found in Midworld''s other species. After sending this thought to Aina, I asked, Why is that? Are only humans welcome here?
A bigoted island wouldn''t even be the strangest place I''d been too...or maybe we just tasted better. For all I knew, Serene Rest''s other "guests" could''ve been in a different chamber, not that I''d seen or sensed entrances to any on the way to this one.
Everyone is welcome here, the construct replied, sounding surprised at the question, then added, everyone weary, who wants nothing more from Midworld after their journeys.
That would explain why the locals acted so lifeless, if not their appearance. I would have to ask about that, and more besides, later.
For example: the grey people''s chuckles hadn''t sounded like they were indulging an unamusing person. While that was not bad by any means (fake laughter can be more annoying than heckling and booing), it made me wonder why they sounded like they were afraid or unable to raise their voices. It wasn''t as if their throats hurt, but more like they were in the presence of something sleeping and dangerous, which they were afraid to disturb.
The dark thought that came in response to that would have to be voiced later, alongside my other questions. Not because I was afraid of the grey folk (I could''ve probably floored them by spitting, and they did not radiate power or indeed, anything else), or of the island I''d already defied, but because there was something innocent in their tranquility, which I did not want to disturb.
Checking my senses suggested my mind was not being addled. Until I learned just how much theirs were, I would try to keep quiet.
Raising my cane to chest-level, I began twirling it in slow circles. Green and yellow sparks soon followed, called into existence by a memory of fireworks above an island on the horizon; I began spinning it faster and adding more sparks, until I looked like I was holding a sceptre topped with a wheel of flame.
Despite knowing how lazy it made me, I smiled and thanked Vhaarn, as I did whenever I had a reason to appreciate how convenient it was to be able to make your own props and effects, instead of having to beg, borrow and steal. Actors less fortunate than me were always up for some scrounging, and often down for whatever it took to get them what they needed, however insulting the conditions of the bargain.
''I say, it seems I am spoiled for choice!'' I declared in a rich voice indicating the grey people with my free hand. ''For in such a gathering of minds, there is bound to be a mingling of tastes. What would you like to say?'' After letting them whisper amidst themselves for a few moments, I asked, ''Shall you put it to a vote?'' Please, say yes and let me nag that woman. ''I can bring the past to life, mine and those of others. I can take the skills I''ve seen and apply them as a lesser entertainer would face powders!''
Boasting was not something I often did - it drew attention, and for a long time, I had suffered from an awful allergy to attention -, but it seemed to embolden them, their confidence growing as if feeding on mine, like vines on a tree. ''I wonder, what would move you today? I have known tragedy and horror, battle and intrigue, and so might you...''
I went off for a while, as if I were a server at one of those inns with so many options you feel faintly annoyed once offered the full menu. Like the predictably unenthusiastic patrons in those cases, my audience''s response was subdued and boiled down to "A comedy! Make us laugh!"
Thankfully, for beings who looked so listless, they were quick to decide. Maybe they put all the energy idiots used to chatter into rapidly making decisions. Now that was a droll thought...
* * *
While the Rested, as Aina insisted I call them, assembled the stage - the island did not ban work, though it did its best to discourage any activity, since it could disturb the local harmony -, I found myself sitting on a low couch in a side room that I swore had appeared out of nowhere, cane in my hands. I did not like clutching a weapon all the time like some frightened savage, but Aina liked it even less, so I had no choice, really.
The humanlike creature, apparently still doggedly trying to seduce me, wore what I wasn''t sure I would''ve called a dress. The diaphanous thing stopped mid-thigh and would''ve tightly hugged the chest of even a less endowed woman. Not that the fabric itself left much to the imagination. I''d seen more opaque glass and more modest working women.
In any other context, I might not have minded, but wearing my friend''s face, and everything else, did not endear her to me. When she noticed me noticing her, she crossed her legs with a smirk, and I looked away, cheeks reddening as I scowled. Aina was probably the only woman I wouldn''t have minded making a fool out of me, but this was not her, any more than a drawing would''ve been.
''You know,'' I said casually, looking past her and through the small, round window showing a vista of pretty purple woods, likely leading to a beach, ''hen we were little, Aina had her hair done in this way I found quite endearing.'' I shrugged. ''Since you are willing to resemble her for the sake of my nostalgia...''
A few moments later, I was able to look at her again, and trying not to smirk at the short bob cut. Not even my childhood friend could look anything but severe with that haircut.
I, of course, kept my eyes off the rest of her, to avoid blunders. I could not say I hadn''t wondered what Aina looked like now, all grown up, but I''d find some time alone later and take care of that.
Going through my memories of my short-lived stint as a sewer cleaner - you would be surprised how many people dump corpses down there in cities with graveyards - helped me keep a cool head. Few men could muster much enthusiasm while drenched and reeking.
''Ask your questions, Yldii,'' Aina''s doppelganger said, perched on a couch opposite mine. She''d wanted to sit next to me at the start, but after a crass joke about that being the only way to get close to me, she''d changed her mind with a huff. I''d turned enough women away without trying to know what it took when I actually wanted them to leave me alone.
Once again, I had succeeded. I thought this was the first time she''d used my family name, which suggested that either my continued company was getting on her nerves, or she''d caught on that there was some joke going on with the bob cut. Either worked.
Deciding to rile her up a bit - nothing on the mind games she''d played on me earlier, really - I rested my chin atop a fist, the elbow of said arm on a knee. ''How did you live before meeting a charmer as handsome as me?''
Her smile was achingly beautiful, even as she rolled her eyes at my exaggeratedly arrogant tone. At the moment, they were like chips of ice, rather than the sky-blue orbs Aina should''ve had. I supposed she only cared so much about accuracy. ''I did not "live" before you came to Serene Rest. It created me to speak to you.''
''You''re not the first woman to recognise me as her life''s purpose.'' I wiggled my eyebrows with a smug sneer, and she almost sneered back, before catching herself. Her smile looked forced now, though. Deciding I''d needled her enough, I said, ''That aside, I must say, I was quite surprised to find those stolen by the island leaving like this.''
''Peacefully?'' Aina asked placidly. ''I told you. You convinced yourself I was lying, because the truth did not appeal to you.''
''Actually, I meant in a building. I imagined them buried alive, with this place''s tendrils digging them into them.''Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.
''The island provides,'' she said with quiet certainty. ''Whatever one needs to find peace, it will give.''
''About that.'' I tapped my cane with a couple fingers, unable to find a rhythm. Place must''ve been meddling with my focus. ''What did, does, your master do to keep them so subdued? They are practically cadavers, and I don''t just mean in terms of looks.''
The false Aina brought her hands together, just the fingertips touching. ''Are you familiar with the concept of lobotomy?''
The Free Fleet''s mindless slaves marched through my mind''s eye, only scarcely more lively than the wretches in the other part of the building. Had she missed that while digging around in my head? ''I''ve some experience.''
''Then you are aware it is often used by healers, for the good of the ill?''
I was not, to any serious degree. I mean...I understood that it could be beneficial, in the loosest sense: the Fleet''s lobotomites knew no pain or fear, no doubt or hesitation. In battle, they could not panic or rout, any more than they could rise up in times of peace. They were the perfect servants, for they would have to be remade, by means of great power, in order to be free of their chains.
Maybe one day, once I learned what people they had been...
But I did not see how that related to what Aina was talking about. Rummaging in a human''s brain to remove fear, pain, anger or sadness would surely leave them as lackwits, unless one was working with the power to warp reality, rather than merely tools to cut and mangle.
''Are you saying the patients have brain damage?''
''Patients?'' Aina echoed, nonplussed.
I waved a hand. ''Old story. The walls, the rows of beds - they just reminded me of a hospital.''
''Ah!'' Her smile returned. ''Yes, you could say Serene Rest is a house of - unending - healing. A place where one becomes better and better the more they stay, as their woes are wiped away.''
The atrocious, hopefully unintentional rhyme aside, that sounded like a nightmare to me. Having to spend forever in a house of healing would''ve been bad enough without it being on an island that made a point of raping minds.
But, even if I thought so, there was little point in voicing it. Most likely, Aina would pick it up from my surface thoughts if she hadn''t already, and it wasn''t like I was going to change her mind by arguing. Pit, I probably couldn''t, literally, if she even had something like a mind to change.
''About them,'' I began, tapping my knee. ''They all seem so...''
''Content?'' she offered when I trailed off, unsure how to put it politely.
''I was going to say placid, but let''s say I agree. This contentment,'' I continued, heedless of her frown. Already rendered inhuman by her empty, unblinking eyes, the grimace almost made her outright ugly, for all her similarities to my friend. I knew telling women to smile more was dangerous in the best circumstances, however, so I kept my mouth shut. ''Is it...natural?'' I held up a hand to make her pause when she opened her mouth, predicting she''d try to sell me some snake oil about how of course it was natural to be like that, how could anyone else react on Serene Rest? ''By which I mean, do they feel that way themselves? Truly? Or is it induced?''
''The island takes away their woes,'' Aina said bitingly. ''Once that is gone, people come to love peace on their own.'' Much the way cripples came to appreciate leisure, maybe.
''Indeed? Do they never think of their pasts, get homesick?'' For some childish reason, I pointed my cane at her as I asked the next question, as if it were an accusing finger. I''d seen this move in a painting once, I thought, "Judge Reveals The Unjust" or something of the sort. ''Do they even remember them? Can they feel anything but "peace" anymore?''
Once again thinking of hospitals, I reflected that I wouldn''t have enjoyed being forced to be peaceful. I wouldn''t have enjoyed being forced to be anything, obviously, but having lamb-like thoughts forced into my head like becalming herbs down my throat felt oddly insulting, more so than being forced to be angry, for example.
That was the lout in me speaking, most likely. Of course he found more solace in the thought of being a knuckle-dragger than a vegetable.
''Why does it matter if they cannot?''
''That is not what I as-''
''Ryzhan,'' she cut me off, voice oddly intense, though she hadn''t raised it. Though her eyes did not change appearance, being mirror-like, pale blue orbs, I felt them focusing on me, somehow. ''Do you honestly think it is worse to be made "placid", as you said, than to face Midworld and all the chaos of the spirit it causes in folks'' hearts?''
Dear Vhaarn, the pomposity! Was the lump of rock we were sitting on really bored enough to make its puppet talk like this?
''Of bloody course it''s worse,'' I grunted, looking down, not deigning to meet her eyes after such a ridiculous question. Next, she was going to ask me if my god was real, or some other nonsense. ''Those worn down by the world can at least end themselves, should they wish so. This island''s people likely cannot even think about anything unless prompted.''
''From where I am standing, the only true difference seems that, while both situations are inescapable, one is actually beneficial.''
Not an untrue notion, but nor was it one anyone sane would entertain.
''This island is a predator,'' I said bluntly. ''It might not literally eat its prey, but it hollows them out as surely as any spider, and far more cruelly, too. At least when those kill you, your corpse doesn''t remain to shamble along - speaking of that,'' I said before she could interject, doubtlessly to contradict me. ''They, or so it seemed to me, appeared oddly hesitant. As if walking around a sleeping danger, afraid to rouse it. Could they have a reason for that, do you think?''
Aina huffed at my overly-innocent tone and wide eyes, but answered. ''Raised voices, strong, sudden movements, might be alarming. They do not wish to disturb each other.'' Seeing my disbelieving expression, she went on, in a tone as sweet as mine had been sardonic, ''Is it so difficult to beliebe that, once taught to live well by Serene Rest, they would be considerate?''
Trained like dogs, more like. Or livestock. ''Consideration, is it?''
For some reason, she smirked like she had me at cards. ''Would it surprise you to learn they keep quiet for the same reason they do not talk about their false selves?''
''Their...excuse me? What selves?'' That had come out of nowhere. If there was anything to be called false here...
The construct nodded animatedly. ''Once worries and hardships are removed, one is free to become who they want to be. Before these folks came here, they were like stones in a river, still being carved by the tides of fate.''
I''d need to remember these lines if I ever decided to play a grandiloquent villain. Probably not this show, though: even those brain-cored dullards could spot something so on the nose.
Although...it was, would have been in other circumstances, somewhat wholesome to see things this way. All too often, I''ve heard people being described as showing their true colours after getting angry, as if who we were while happy or calm was false. It was oddly reassuring to hear the opposite, even if it came from a creature that saw peace the way the Free Fleet saw liberty.
I dipped my chin at her, as far as I''d go to compliment anyone with a hand in this nightmarish arrangement, before I decided to ask about another curious detail I''d noticed. Or, rather, a curious lack of details. It was a benign query, in that the answer or a lack of it wouldn''t affect anything. Unless the explanation made me queasier than I already was.
Though I was thankfully unlikely to break down in tears, or retch, as people of a gentler manner might, I could only keep my outrage behind a calm mask, and making a scene during a scene (cue laughter) would not help my image. My image of myself, that was, I doubted anyone here would care, and I certainly would give no thought to their opinions, save incredulity that they could form any.
''You say everyone in the other room is human.'' I''d have argued they hadn''t been for some time, but my phrasing might just make her more pliable. Stroking my beard, I asked, ''But they all look like they are...that is, they are built like men.'' Given her questioning gaze, she hadn''t grasped what I was fumbling to get at. ''What I am meaning to ask is, well, what happened to the women? Are they separated?''
Surely the ships that had made it to the island hadn''t been crewed solely by men? Every vessel or group of vessels needed women too, otherwise how could the crew keep its numbers up? It wasn''t like you could leave your wife to wait for you on land for years while you went sailing with the lads.
''Oh, you mean you didn''t notice?''
''What should I have noticed?'' I asked, thinking that surely I wasn''t so dense as to fall for the shaved woman with bound breasts scheme, like every stupid recruiter in japes about armies.
''There are no men or women out there.''
''Ah.'' Well, that explained some things. Those who felt unwell in the bodies they''d been born with often sought mages to change them, though many fleets looked unkindly at those who would not or could not bear children. Even being a parent didn''t mean safety if one was of a certain persuasion. You only needed to look at what my captain''s parents had put him through because he loved men.
Still, I found it hard to swallow that Serene Rest would adjust its victims'' bodies to match their minds just because it could. It would''ve been too much like actual helpfulness, when the place clearly only sought to ensnare the unwary and weak-willed. ''Would I be right to suspect this was done for the sake of inner peace?''
''It would not hurt you not to sound so scornful while speaking of it,'' Aina replied, though she didn''t contradict me. ''It was judged that this neutral form of flesh would be the best for maintaining a calm state of mind.''
''Judged?'' I almost laughed. ''By one being, you mean. The isle. Did they want this? Did they even have the chance to "agree", if only out of fear?'' I had this feeling their spirits had already been broken by the time decisions had started being made for them.
Aina''s copy held up a hand. ''Ryzhan, I will be honest.'' No! Indeed? ''While I do not mind teaching you about this land...why do you care so much about those saved from strife? You will forgive me for saying you''ve never been much of an altruist when it comes to those outside of your inner circle. Or have you forgotten the island you left to sink while its people drowned?''
I set my jaw. ''That was their choice. A true one, with no one forcing their hand. And anyone would be appalled by the husks you have shuffling around here.''
''If you don''t think they''re truly people, why do you intend to perform for them?''
I found myself staring into humanlike eyes of a dark blue, wide beneath arched eyebrows. Why was I intending to perform? Because this was the best role for me to play in Ib''s schemes, whatever they were? I didn''t think so. Being manipulated would''ve been even more distasteful than usual if it resulted with me ending up here.
What then? I''d been so beleaguered, between everything that had happened, the journey across the sea, then across Serene Rest...I''d stopped debating with myself about that to live in the moment, rather, to survive the moment. But I had time to think now, and no excuse for not doing so.
That was one of the dangers of Midworld, just as great as the storms and tides. Getting so caught up in surviving, doing anything for just one more day in which one could hold their kin and fellows, or, were they of a baser ilk, satisfy their simple pleasures. The harshness made you stop wondering, stop questioning, and that was something I could not allow.
Becoming so ignorant you stopped doubting, or so confident in what you thought you knew...it was the death of the spirit, for a thinker. For a scholar.
I had firsthand experience of how perilous it was. Had I not been so damned certain I was being chased, I wouldn''t have gone around Midworld like a spooked horse, cutting alliances short with no explanation or a dishonest one. How many of the ships I''d left behind had sunk during a storm when my magic might have saved lives?
That was when I realised it. It all came back to my magic, in a way. And when it was all done, I might just have to thank Ib, the closemouthed lug, I thought with a fond, exasperated smile.
The old adage about suffering building character had always left a sour taste in my mouth, mostly because of the beatings handed to me by my father like sweetmeats other children might receive from a kinder sire. But, in this case, it might actually help. Magic, like diamonds, grew under pressure. By manoeuvring me into this situation, had Ib not ensured I would become more powerful, in addition to calmer? Everything that had happened on the path from the steamer, everything that would happen here...
And that magic might just help me, one day, look into the past as though through a window, allowing me to learn what had happened to those I''d abandoned, driven by the pursuit I''d imagined. It might even let me peer into the distant past, unearthing secrets that had been buried for hoever long Midworld had existed.
I could not deny the pleasure of being the first to uncover those was not appealing, but the knowledge itself, and what might come from it, would be priceless.
* * *
Mharra
Mharra''s head bobbed as he slowly spun, taking in the spectators. Many of the vessels had seats built unto their decks - pleasure barges? Such luxury! How many could afford to sail for pleasure, and nothing more? -, while a few less "specialised" ones had made do with chairs likely brought from some cabin or the other.
A few people even clung the hulls of ships like barnacles, hanging onto nooks and crannies whose purpose Mharra could only wonder at. Had they been carved solely for the purpose of letting sailors perch on them like monkeys? The indents looked too smooth to have been caused by water. If he squinted, they even seemed evenly-spaced.
These people, with their garlands, their rivers of drink and mountains of food, their silk-roofed, flat-bottomed ships that dotted this uncannily calm stretch of sea like lazy frogs around a pond...had they ever known worry? In living memory, at least? The captain was not hypocritical enough to critique them for not sharing their bounty, but he was curious. Had they become so content, so complacent, that they truly didn''t worry about anything - literally - beyond their horizon?
''If so,'' Mharra muttered to himself, confident the people of the pleasure fleet wouldn''t hear, but not really caring if they did, ''I''d better tamp down on this foolish jealousy, and wish them well. Bless their hearts, eh, Burst?''
His ship growled under him like a giant hunting cat, and, expansive as its current form was, Mharra felt a pressure building within the steamer, almost too great for it to contain, akin to that inside a coiled spring.
Or a snake, maybe. The sort that looked half-asleep until one darted up at you and crushed your torso with a bite of those fangless jaws.
Mharra felt a brief jolt of jealousy. Something with a mouth like an old man''s shouldn''t have so much damn strength in its maw. He still had to gnaw on some food, despite having teeth.
Mentally shelving the ophidian objects of his envy, Mharra turned his mind to the task at hand once more. His Three might have sent him a sign to live in the moment, but, even if that had been a hallucination, the idea wasn''t wrong. Granted, most people whose arguments came to them in their dreams couldn''t talk their way out of a sack, but he had a good feeling about this.
Tapping the deck-stage with a boot, he whispered, ''Nothing to share?''
''Who makes ships to keep them in one spot?'' the steamer replied in a voice that could''ve been interpreted as the hiss of a hidden inner furnace, from a distance. ''It''s like birthing a child just to cut off its legs.''
Ah, so that was it. His ship found the pleasure fleet unnatural. But, as long as it didn''t try to sabotage the show. Mharra would leave it believe whatever it wanted. He was actually proud his mechanical friend had become able to form opinions, but discussing what a thinking ship meant would come later.
His audience had requested tragedy or horror, or anything else they didn''t feel in their daily lives. Mharra had wracked his brain for a while, debating what historical event or story to stage, before deciding he might as well look to the near past and use acting to vent what gnawed as him, as performers had done for generations unnumbered.
But for that...
''I need a volunteer!'' he announced bombastically, voice as loud as he could make it; even so, he needed the help of his ship''s amplifiers to be heard clearly by everyone. ''Would anyone like to help me?'' He held up a finger. ''Worry not, ''tis not a complicated role! A moment''s instruction, and you''ll understand.'' His eyes glimmered as he smirked playfully at the fleet, teeth a slice of brightness in his dark beard. ''Of course, if you are too shy, I''m sure my faithful ship could provide an alternative...''
The denials of shyness and boasts of courage filled the air to the point Mharra wagered he could''ve heard them from leagues them. Laughing, he held up both hands, waving for them to settle down. ''Very well, very well! But it''s just one role! I say, speak among yourselves, and let whoever you think the best-suite come forward.''
Mharra listed some desirable traits for his assistant: tall and slight, preferably male, capable of quickly going from exuberance to anger. He had thought about asking for three people, but, based on all the past shows when Three had pretended to disappear so he could ask for replacements, the "deputies", as his lover had jokingly called them, had often messed up the order of their lines. It was not easy for three unprepared people to play one person.
* * *
Ib
Ib iw sure the mountain hadn''t existed when it had arrived on the Ashen Isle, but the obsidian amphitheatre built into its side looks ancient, and - when it extends its arcane sense''s temporal facet towards it - even feels so.
Indeed, the Ashen Islanders have many stories about the generations that have come here to observe some rite or another, and they answer the grey giant''s questions with what feels like enthusiastic honesty, rather than the frightened, forced calm one might expect from cultists.
The grey being trusts its senses, in this case as in many others. It would likely require more power poured into its perception to spot the truth, but it''s likely Ashe has changed history so that the mountain, and the open building crowned with many of her likenesses, has always been here.
Perhaps Ib is being optimistic, driven to want to think the best of her by the same part of itself that has it using the dragoness'' name, but if Freedom only expects the worst of people, what''s the point of anything.
As they gather round - his friend Ryz would like the wordplay, Ib thinks, as would Three, were he still here; though only the latter would likely admit it -, Ib stands with two hands on its hips, its other arms folded as its gaze moves across the crowd. There numbers explain why there are so many artificial spatial pockets "around" the island: Ib has seen the natives'' lavish dwellings, and a population this large would not have the room for their lifestyle on the Isle alone.
It is good, Ib reflects, that it has no eyes to betray what it is focusing on. Indeed, the dragon''s worshippers likely can''t tell its head is moving, and even that is a habit from days of duller senses and a cruder form.
When Ib does spot her, Ashe is not, as it expected, trying overly hard to be inconspicuous - something that can dra attention as much as being raucous. Instead, the human form she has chosen, smaller and less curvy than the one she bore in her temple, during their confrontation, is plain as far as the Ashen go, and further hidden by a hooded brown cloak.
A corner of Ib''s mind drily notes that it was a good idea to choose this body, because the shape from the temple, would''ve been impossible to miss, even in that potato sack she''s wearing.
She''s sitting fairly close to the first row, too, not in the middle or the back, another mistake someone trying to go unnoticed might make. The giant finds it funny that a peacock like Ashe is even familiar with the concept of stealth, much less able and willing to use it.
''It is to gauge their reactions,'' she told it, mind to mind, not long before Ib arrived in the arena. ''You are a novelty. Many of them have never seen an outsider in their lives, and fewer still anyone like you. They are as likely to be awed by your antics as they are to be terrified.''
''Antics?'' Ib echoed unhappily. ''I''m not a monkey.''
Ashe waved it off impatiently. ''I''d say something about studs, and you might get it, if you get it.'' The smirking dragoness huffed smoke at the grey being''s lack of reaction, ''You are lucky I find thick sorts like you endearing.''
''I''m feeling positively blessed,'' Ib said, responding with sarcasm as what must''ve been intended as some sort of taunt, it''s sure. If the self-styled goddess takes offence at the jab to her persona, she doesn''t show it. ''Gauge their reactions, you say? Can''t you just root through their heads?''
''You should''ve learned by now that I''m not that kind of deity,'' Ashe replied with bored irritated. ''As to the good question you asked, I can tell you none of them will recognise me, for my form will not be that of one of their neighbours, and they will be mystified as a result. Guilty, maybe, about not recalling who I am, in some cases.''
''And if they treat a lowly stranger poorly, you will punish them?'' Ib asked, darkly curious.
Ashe flashed it a dirty look. ''It would not be your business, even if I was planning to.'' She leered. ''Of course, I might be convinced to let them all go if you take their place in my service. I am sure you could be quite worshipful, once taught your place.''
''Why don''t you wi-'' Ib stopped. Telling her to wipe the grin off her face might have resulted in her replying she''d rather wipe something else off. Ib had overheard enough talks of the sort to recognise this kind of lecher.
Thanks, Three.
''Why don''t you forget that and simply let them go anyway?'' Ib asked, lamely. ''It would be a sign of the virtuousness gods ought to be one with.''
But Ashe simply laughed, and said no more on the subject. Sighing, Ib moved on. ''Will your worshippers not be alarmed if their goddess does not attend the show? I understand you are expected to be present at such occasions.''
Ashe gestured dismissively. ''I will be watching through my statues, while attending to other duties - so they will be told.''
Ib grunted, crossing its arms. ''I feel the exercise is pointless, but do as you wish.''
Ashe cocked her head like a bird, before another reptilian smile passed over her face. ''Were you hoping to see me dark in fang and claw? I daresay you can perform under me even if I am smaller.''
Not even beginning to respond to that, Ib simply shook its head and walked off to prepare.''
The Idea of Freedom''s thoughts turn back to what Midworlders perceived as the present, noting the glowing orange eyes of Ashe''s statues. Obvious proof she is watching, if one is gullible enough and bereft of an arcane sense, not that it believes such faithful needed any evidence to believe. That is, Ib understood, rather the point.
''I am here to amuse, not muse,'' Ib reminds itself in a whisper far too quiet to be picked up by human ears. Above, in the stands, the disguised dragoness sniggers, receiving looks from several of the people around her, some perplexed, other annoyed.
Oh, yes. This is definitely going to improve her opinion of her worshippers.
Lifting its upper arms, while letting the middle ones fall at its sides, Ib holds out its hands. ''Before we begin! Before anything else, I must tell you this: we may not look the same, and we might not believe in the same things. But I was once just as lost as the lowliest wretch who might have made it to this island, and I knew even less of my mind than most lackwits. It was only thanks to the help of the family I''ve found that I was able to remember myself, to become who I am today. It is never too late to hope.''
Not if Ib has anything to say about it. Deep, deep beneath, beyond and above its form of substance, the Idea of Freedom lifts its gaze to a stormy horizon, and to the gaping hollowness behind it. It is growing larger, as it does when there is no one to keep the cycle of life and death.
But everything will not end this time, just like it did not the last four. Ib has seen the plans of the Remaker Midworlders call Mendax, the being they misunderstand more than most. Flourish and her successors did not toil so that perhaps the most promising heir to their station will fail.
And it will play a role in this, the greatest show there has ever been. So will its mage friend. It is Ib''s duty to bear him, and the others, to where their prowess and character will be put to use.
* * *
Aina
Aina is kicking her feet when the change comes over her. Unlike the ones from her youth, this one is fast and smooth and painless, without eldritch not-matter reverting to human flesh mid-shift. It just feels like her limbs stretching, almost.
Chromed tentacles speckled with slime writhe under her white dress, filling it and giving it the appearance of a bell. Aina rolls her eyes, seeing she is still far from being at peace with herself. It would not do to change like this with Ryzhan.
Would it?
The young woman turns her attention to the screens, a finger to her temples. That funny captain is coaching a child and his pet (?) slime through what acting the deuteragonist of his play entails, while Ib has clearly set the stage for a biographic show.
But her friend...
''Why didn''t you ask?'' Aina murmurs sullenly, knowing she''s being unfair, and not caring. Ryzhan clearly cares, as can be seen from how he inquired about Serene Rest''s prey, so why''d he stop? Is he so tired of the naked atrocity on display that the obvious question has slipped his mind?
''Guest?'' one of the Weaver Queen''s creations asks, a colossus wrought from the invisible threads of life. ''Is something the matter?''
Aina shakes her head. ''Just talking to myself...'' But she cannot help it. Why didn''t Ryzhan ask about the children? They can hardly be left behind when sailing. Did that thrice-damned island hollow them out and leave the shells running around? Did it force them to grow into those grey, empty, unchanging forms, stealing their futures from them before they could even dream of who they wanted to be?
She only notices she is shaking when the trembling is stopped by a heavy, callused but warm hand lands on her shoulder. ''Ach, lass, don''t judge him too harshly. He''s been through plenty, not long ago. And his heart is in the right place - that living nightmare might well die by his hand.''
Aina turns to the speaker before the first syllable is uttered, but despite training her senses on him, she cannot discern anything. The only reason she thinks of him as a man is the voice, for his form does not possess anything manlike - or humanlike.
The stranger is shaped like a heat haze, but denser, a colourless silhouette that somehow has depth. The face under its cowl is featureless, as are the hands that protrude from its long, wide sleeves. The bottom of his robe is wide, hiding whatever he may be from sight. She thinks he would seem to drift across a floor, in motion.
And yet, faceless, colourless as he is, he feels more human to her than almost anyone she has met.
Aina releases a breath she didn''t realise she was holding, and the impression of a wide, bright smile set in a dark face fills her mind. It is coming from the stranger, she realises.
The stranger who might as well be an old piece of furniture, with how the King and Queen''s constructs are reacting to his arrival.
The stranger lets go, and Aina feels more than sees kindly old eyes narrowing at her. ''Good to see I didn''t scare you. That''s only funny with people I don''t like.''
''I accept your apology,'' Aina replies flippantly, drawing a belly laugh from the stranger. The sound, which touches her spirit and monstrous half alike, is infectious, and she finds herself fighting not to smile. Rubbing at her eyes, she glances around, but nothing has changed. ''Who are you, and why are you here? How are you here, for that matter?''
''I arrived because I had to, and entered because I could,'' he answers. ''As for your first question....who do you think I am, Aina of Copper''s Cradle?''
She hopes she does not look as surprised as she feels at this casual display of knowledge, all the while going over every legend and rumour she has heard over the years. Several beings might be able to come and go as they please, but few make the effort to be charming. ''Mendax,'' she breathes. ''The Meddler.''
The stranger blows a raspberry, of all things. ''The fact this ain''t the first time that''s been capitalised is almost as sad as your love life.''
Aina blinks, all bemusement swept away be vexation, and finds her face reddening, in anger rather than embarrassment. ''How dare y-''
''Shh!'' Mendax shushes her, suddenly facing the screens from a chair she knows she hasn''t seen before. ''It''s starting. I can matchmake later, if you''re as hopeless as your boy.''
It is only the knowledge that the attempt would be futile that stops Aina from throttling Mendax. Taking her seat with a scoff, she gives it a sidelong glance. ''And why "must" you be here?''
Mendax gestures at the shows as the actors begin to warm up. ''Everything will be riding on this too. Don''t worry, everyone will help before you even know you''ve started.''
''What are you talking about? Help with what?''
Mendax gives her a look she can''t decipher. ''Why, everything, lass. Didn''t you listen?'' Before she can reply, it clasps its hands in its lap. ''Ah, I suppose it doesn''t matter, in the end. The big one will explain everything, or your mage will, if he''s been caught up by then.''
As they watch, Mendax speaks of things that leave her understanding less, not more. A cosmic lynchpin to be chosen after he has been prepared for his office, lest everything end. A dream to end a Dream and see everyone free of a sleeping god''s whims; a scheme that has been long in the making, but which the being has never been able to put together, much less pull off.
''Lately,'' he says, ''I''ve noticed I can see the outline of eternal salvation - or perhaps not.'' He shrugs. ''Not my job. I''m here to keep creation chugging along, even if it means patching it up a trillion, trillion, trillion times. No one gives a toss if the fix is permanent.''
''I don''t understand,'' Aina confesses. ''You...that is, the legends...you were never said to be this helpful. Or care. You are beyond creation and were never of it-''
''Me?!'' He cackles. ''I suppose that''s true, if you think creation''s only this pond and what''s above it, but void, lass, that''s such a provincial view...''
''Are you calling me ignorant?'' she asks sharply.
''I''d say innocent, but no woman''s ever appreciated that from me. Fifi certainly hasn''t.'' Despite her curiosity at the brief wistfulness that comes to hang around Mendax, she does not ask.
''I''m sure they haven''t,'' she says instead. Then, ''But tell me this, at least: you say you can glimpse salvation, but speak as though it will not come from you. As though you don''t understand it.''
He nods. ''Aye?''
''Then who will...defend all there is from whatever''s coming?'' It sounds so fanciful, said out loud...
''Oh, you might know him.'' Mendax is clearly amused. ''I know you daydream, of events past and things to come. There''s this sardonic beanpole with daddy issues...''
Aina might not understand half of his jargon, but she can guess. ''Ryzhan?'' she asks, unable to help but smile. ''Ryzhan will-''
''Well,'' Mendax coughs into his hand. ''That was on me. I coulda been talking about Edith Kharz or Flint from the Nexus or any of them other stars of their own stories, but Davey boy still wouldn''t appreciate being made to sound so common...eh. Nothing to do now. Not like he hasn''t had worse.'' He moves his hands as if brushing something off. ''That being said, I''m sure your crush will help when the time comes. Anyone halfway decent or sane would. Most of those who''re neither, too.''
''Do you truly know that?'' Aina asks, unsure whether to believe the legendary trickster. She''s never heard the names he''s mentioned, a few mentions of the Nexus in legends as ancient as Mendax''s aside, but he has spoken of her friend, too.
Mendax taps his fingers against one thigh, then half-turns to her, so that she''s seeing one half of his smile. ''I know I''ve prepared evryone I should as much as I could. Don''t worry: if fail, you won''t be around to blame me.''
There is a note of finality in his voice, before he looks up at the ceiling, now talking to himself rather than her in a bitterly amused tone. ''Perks of the job...''
Interlude: Midworld, A Stage (One)
Aina
''How many things can you focus on at once?''
Aina gives Mendax a curious look. ''I suppose it depends on what you refer to.''
''That it does.'' The faceless man nods, with an air that makes her think he appreciates the careful response. Had she simply said she was good, he could''ve taken it as her being boastful, and mocked or sought a way to humble her, as the Meddler of legend did to the prideful. Granted, those targetted were later revealed to have slighted him in some manner, but that didn''t mean she should push her luck.
Even if Mendax was acting less and less like the whimsical monster she''d grown up hearing about with every exchange.
''How about this, then: humans can only concentrate on so many separate events at once, before their senses and minds are overtasked and their focus on certain things begins slipping. Thoughts are like weights on the mind, after all.''
''Oh? The Brothers of the Twin Burden were right, then...'' the Vhaarnist sect claims (claimed? She hasn''t asked about them in a while; they might''ve been wiped out) that, much like one can only carry so many loads, so they can only think so many thoughts. The Brothers say that this was because the body and mind are linked, mirrors of each other, and that fouling one means ruining one''s whole being as a result. Which isn''t wrong, but doesn''t make the peddling of their awful-tasting "spiritual cleansers" more bearable, or their merchants less annoying.
Mendax inclines his head. ''They weren''t wrong,'' he allows, ''which is more than can be said for most, from where I''m standing.''
''You''re sitting.''
''And very comfortable, not that you asked.'' He sniffs. ''I will not call my host lousy, but she wouldn''t perish if she offered some tea, anything.''
Aina laughs. ''I''m as much of a guest as you are.'' More, because she didn''t break in an make herself at home. ''I wouldn''t know the first thing about finding refreshments. The layout is always shifting, and-''
He holds up a limb that was once a hand, but is now covered in fanged suckers and tapered to a point. ''I get it. I can tell you haven''t learned to make something from nothing. It''s understandable why you''d avoid experimenting.''
His tone is sympathetic, but Aina still does not like being talked down to, especially regarding something that is hardly her fault. Her monstrous half changes like the weather, helping one moment and hindering the next. It is not out of malice, she doesn''t think: it is more like a child testing out what they are, or someone with an addled mind trying to centre themselves.
The King and Queen tell her that allowing them to research her other form - taking the shed skin, scales and hair to their hidden laboratories, observing her when she''s out of her healthy mind - is useful for helping people stand up to such creatures, ones without a human aspect to rein them in. Aina does not know the full capabilities of her hosts (and even if she did, Mendax''s manner has left her less keen on simply believing things she has heard but not seen) but she doesn''t think they''re talking about their own safety, or that of their creations or subjects, when they bring up such things.
It might be that their powers are too great to judge for her arcane sense, but the diarchs have always seemed more impressive to her than her monster. But then, all mountains whose peaks are hidden in the clouds seem endless from the ground...
Regardless of the truth, Mendax is right. She has not tried to draw out the power of her other self more than necessary, and she is unlikely to start. But...speaking of her lunacy, she thinks she has caught on to what he was trying to say earlier.
''You mentioned humans,'' she points out. ''Not people. I can...when my reason doesn''t leave me, that is, I believe I can think..."more"." She scrunches her face up slightly. ''No, that is not quite it. It is more like my thoughts beget themselves...''
Much like how someone can run for longer if they pick up speed instead of starting with a sprint - focus on one idea being a walking pace, in this case -, the more she contemplates, the more her mind broadens. Trying to jump straight to that stage of inhuman awareness results in headaches at best, and can cause trances that leave her a passenger in her moon-twisted body.
Mendax listens, and seems satisfied with the explanation. Shortly after she stops, he huffs, before grinning apologetically. ''Truth is, hen, it''s just me having high standards. Most humans wouldn''t even know themselves after you went through, much less be capable of switching back and forth, or using the gained power for their own benefits...'' He lays a hand on her arm. ''Don''t mind the joke, will you, hen? I can make what I need.'' He hesitates for a moment, seemingly considering making a self-deprecating jape, then changes his mind, becoming more serious. ''That being said - you probably want to focus on coming to terms with what you are, for when your friend catches up with you.''
Having got used to Mendax''s sense of humour by now, she opens her mouth to say that whatever she chooses to do with Ryzhan is their business, but he cuts her off, at the same time pulling his hand back. ''I mean, imagine how he would feel if he saw you losing your mind, unable to remember yourself? You know he detests it when people forget such things, even if they aren''t close to him.''
"And you are", he all but says. Aina thinks he is being generous. Aye, she has kept Ryzhan in her heart, all this time, but how close to him can she really call herself? They haven''t even truly seen each other since they were children.
Hanging her head, she looks down at her hand, directing her will at the appendage as she twists her fingers like she is cupping something. In the span of heartbeats, her skin becomes grey and covers itself in scales, while under it, flesh and blood are replaced by ichor and matter spun from her lunacy.
Despite the fishlike hide being several times thicker than her skin, it does not deaden her sense of touch: she can feel her fingertips on her palm as she curls her hand, despite not pressing down with her claws. It feels like she is wearing thin gloves. ''I understand,'' she says softly, willing her other hand to change in a mirror of this transformation. ''But I do not need Ryzhan''s dismay as motivation. My own is enough.'' Her eyes flash as she lifts them, meeting Mendax''s hidden ones. ''I do not desire to lose myself, either. Do not think I am waiting here because I am bereft of purpose without him.''
She could make a life for herself, will, should Ryzhan spurn her. She is waiting until she can master herself, which would be no easy task for any woman her age, moon madness aside. Normalcy was snatched away before she could learn to appreciate it; if she wants to return to it, it cannot be done before she understands enough not to rip Midworld apart in her insanity.
Aina lets go, and the monstrous flesh recedes with a peeling sensation, as if she were taking off tight garments. With it comes the sensation of peace that follows a transformation, especially a willing, successful one. Like a breath one does not realise they''re holding, or a burden they don''t notice until they put it down, the strain on her body, mind and soul falls away.
Her thoughts are clearer as they realign, bringing with them memories. Eyes wide in sudden understanding, she turns to Mendax, only barely stopping herself from pointing. ''I know you!'' she says, then realises it makes her sound mad, mayhap senile, without an explanation. ''From before, before here. I thought you a stranger, but...we''ve met.''
''Aye,'' he agrees, sounding pleased. ''I recall you saying people like me can help even you feel normal.''
She flushes, but does not let him distract her. ''I was younger, foolish. You didn''t catch me at the age where folk think before they speak.'' She gives him a questioning look. ''Is that why you said nothing? I was quite alarmed by you appearing in here out of thin air, I''ll have you know. I was close to calling for help.'' Or cutting loose and trying to settle matters herself.
''Oh, Clock and Weave have no issue with me, I assure you.'' Mendax does not sound anywhere as boastful as most acquainted with a Great Powers'' rulers would be. But then, she supposes he wouldn''t. ''You think they could miss me unless I was hiding? They''re obsessive, not blind.''
Mendax does not sound nearly as pleased with himself as most acquaintances of the Great Powers'' rulers, but then, she supposes he wouldn''t.
Aina does not bother to ask if they know each other; obviously, the diarchs at least know of the Meddler. She has another question, one that still hasn''t been answered. ''Why, then? Why not remind me?''
Mendax says nothing, but smiles, placing a finger above his scarred lips - there is a face under the cowl, now, though it lasts for only a thousandth of a thousandth of a heartbeat before it is gone, replaced by shadows and mist. He gestures at the screens, turns to them and, at the same time, words enter her mind. ''Take some time and think. It''s bad luck to talk during shows, you know. For the actors, I mean.''
Her lunacy, more alert now, bristles at being ordered around by a being similar in nature, if not in power. Not that Mendax was addressing it, Aina thinks, as she turns to watch the screens as well, pushing her monster down. As they begin playing, she follows the Meddler''s advice, and thinks about what happened.
The monstrous arms responding to her command...that is not new. Not as such. She has called upon them before, and summoned other limbs, too: not just legs and wings and tentacles, but things for which man has no name. She has even managed to do it around other people, at the request of the King and Queen.
But...she''s never held onto her sanity for long after doing it, whether alone or with others. Her other half seemed to see being called upon as an invitation to take charge, and often swept her under for the duration of the resulting rampage.
Mendax surely knew the consequences, with how well-informed he seemed to be about her moon madness. But, Aina thinks, it wasn''t confidence in his power or wit that made him do it.
It was confidence in her. She finds herself smiling, musing that she should be flattered at a living legend believing in her so, but in truth, she is more pleased with herself.
She thinks she has caught onto the being''s scheme. Something she is sure each of his victims thought at some point, but...
''By taunting me about my incompetence,'' she says in a neutral tone, not glancing at Mendax, ''you goaded me into testing my control. You knew I could have better results this time, if I was determined enough.'' Her smile returns. ''Which will help. Both with Ryzhan, and with the crisis you said everyone will contribute to stopping.'' Now, she turns to look at the hooded man. ''I wager things went as you wanted?''
He doesn''t respond right away, instead appearing intent on watching Ryzhan as he makes his way to the stage. Then, whistling softly, he says, ''They certainly didn''t go as I didn''t want, sugar.'' Whistling louder now, jauntily, he adds, almost as an afterthought, ''Ain''t you sharp as a tack...''
Aina rolls her eyes, not dignifying that with a reply. ''In any case,'' she says, rubbing her eyes with two fingers, ''I must thank you. For stopping my shaking,'' she adds hurriedly, unsure how glad she is at being tricked into becoming better. ''You didn''t have to.''
Mendax nods, leaning forward with a hand on one knee, like her people used to, before Copper''s Cradle sank and there was such joy in watching ships come and go. ''I do what needs doing. No point in being a bellend about it.''
* * *
Ryzhan
I confess: for a time, I entertained the thought of putting on a silly scene. Talking animals, practical jokes, hidden actors wryly responding to overly-serious monologues. That sort of thing. Doing the work of a whole troupe was possible, thanks to my magic.
But I was not in the sort of wholesome state of mind necessary for such a spectacle. That was the sort of thing you put on for children, or grown folk who survived Midworld without losing the best parts of their youthful selves. I was in too grim a mood to make these puppets laugh with pranks.
Speaking of children...the thought had come to me late, after the Aina copy departed and I was left alone to prepare, but I noticed I hadn''t seen any being smaller or younger-looking than a grown man. It was hard to say if any members of my audience were youths, with their wretched appearances and demure manner: they reminded me of those children raised by overly harsh parents, who thought they were instilling discipline but were actually raising liars who knew how to make excuses, look busy and avoid trouble.
I had some experience with such folks.
When I had noticed the lack of brats, who got underfoot as surely as rats on the average ship, I was troubled, and the uneasiness soon gave way to anger. The construct hadn''t said anything about this, but it made sense. Why would it discriminate for the young when it didn''t do so for women, or the elderly, or the sick? Pit, it probably saw it as vile not to twist the bodies of all its victims into these identical shells.
Face after face - all imagined, for I''d never met them, but no less heart-wrenching to look at - passed through my mind. How many, I wondered? How many boys who''d never grown a whisker and girls who''d never had their first bleeding? How many young souls had Serene Rest robbed of their future?
Part of me noted that this outrage was ridiculous; I''ve likely caused the deaths of thousands of youths by abandoning their ships right before a crisis. But the human spirit was not a thing of reason, not solely. And those I left behind, I left in the clutches of chance, knowing they might well make it through grit and luck. Those who washed up on this island''s shores had no such possibilities in their future...or at least, I hadn''t met anyone else who could resist its cloying influence like I could.
I wondered about that. Midworld was so great, so old, that surely, at some point, some powerful sailor must''ve found themselves here? Had they left at the first occasion, maybe warning others of the living, mind-stealing island? Had they been killed and thrown into the sea by Serene Rest, after it fashioned weapons powerful enough to overcome their body, if not their mind? I knew its control over its substance was refined enough to create such things. It could, after all, make creatures that resembled people almost completely.
I think it was that revelation, that there were no children to be seen (much less heard, I thought, remembering the saying) that pushed me to choose another kind of comedy. One might''ve argued that these circumstances were kinder, that it was better for whole families to be remade like this rather than leave the sprogs clutching the legs of things that could no longer remember having them, loving them.
I disagreed. The only philosophical considerations worth entertaining here were whether Serene Rest should be razed and shattered, or made to suffer for as long as it could survive, in whatever manner such things as it could be made to suffer. Taking away the toys it had made for itself would''ve been a start, I mused.
But that would come later, if it ever did.
Black humour went best with dark colours, unless one was feeling particularly ridiculous - for absurdity often went well with dark jests. In that regard, my black trousers and dark green vest might''ve fitted, no pun intended, but I thought that they looked too serious for what I had in mind. So, reaching within with my magic, I remembered garments I had worn on many occasions, for the sake of anonymity.
The cloak spun from my memories was as dark as octopus ink, and appeared to twist in the air like that substance would in water, of its own accord. In reality, I was remembering a similar cloak fluttering, wagering the small movements would make things more dramatic or comical, as needed.
As I formed the cloak, I also remembered noise and light and smoke: a grey cloud bloomed from the light that flashed in front of me with the sound of a thunderclap. From the audience, I heard muttering and humming, alongside a series of soft gasps. I didn''t let that make me cocksure; from any other spectators, it could''ve been interpreted as awe preempting louder reactions, but the Rested likely couldn''t be lively at all.
I swept out an arm, and wind howled through the room, born from the power of the magically strong movement. When the smoke was dispersed, I stood cloaked, cane in hand. Thanks to the wide, loose sleeves, my hands weren''t visible - and, with the remembered gloom I brought into being after moments, dimming the lights, the magical instrument seemed an extension of some ebony creature''s limb.
This solemn, ominous atmosphere would be shattered soon, the contrast between it and what followed helping the actual jokes land better. Speaking of landings...
I brought the cane down, and it was like I had struck a gong, rather than the stage of living stone that had been assembled for me. Doubtlessly, Serene Rest saw giving part of itself up (likely temporarily. I did not think the island had it in itself to let go of anything it couldn''t take back) as a small price for pleasing me in any way. If it could get into my good graces, I might just stay, it likely told itself.
Gods...the thought of becoming a mindless ox like these other poor bastards was disgusting enough, but who knew if my memories and thoughts were the only thing that might be taken from me, should my guard slip?
I imagined the island unmooring itself from its hunting ground, prowling Midworld with a twisted version of my magic at its disposal. Who knew what remembered horrors it could bring back into being?
That nightmarish future would never come to pass, if I had anything to say. And I all but knew that my journey here was meant to temper both my magic and my character; Vhaarn willing, I would return stronger and wiser than I had left.
My only worry should be making sure the island didn''t somehow follow, or construct hunters to send after me. I hadn''t heard stories of escapees from Serene Rest being pursued, but then, I hadn''t raised the subject. "Aina''s" silence on the matter suggested that, if anyone had left, they had escaped successfully. I didn''t think she could''ve kept herself from gloating about saving the foolish from their doom and bringing them back to their deserved paradise, et cetera.
''My, but ''tis dark in here,'' I said, testing my voice and finding it good. Nodding to myself, I paced to the edge of the stage like a hobbled old man, leaning on my cane with both hands. The rapid, forceful movements suggested great hurry, but I was dragging my feet, in every sense, so that I was moving slower than an ordinary man could.
When I stopped so that a fold of cloth found itself under my booth, I made as if to trip, which took a great deal of effort for me: with the speeds mana could push me to, I was used to turns far more violent than such a movement. Nevertheless, I let out a panicked "Woah!" as I staggered in place, arms spinning, one clutching my cane. Finally, I let myself topple forward.
In a motion too fast for a human, but still slow enough to be seen, I stabbed the floor (there were, thankfully, a few metres between the stage and the first row of seats, or I would''ve tried a different trick) with my cane, pushing on it the moment my feet left the ground. I wasn''t actually sure how plausible these acrobatics would''ve been without mana, but then, I wasn''t relying on muscle alone.
A boyish grin split my face as I balanced on the cane. The handstand lasted for several moments, quiet "oohs" from the Rested filling my ears, and, with childlike boldness, I decided why not do it onehanded?
This next trick took some sleight of hand: while my cane was tough enough to handle my weight and strength, it was still a fairly thin stick, and not enchanted to balance itself or perform other such wonders. Whenever it wavered, which was often, I had to readjust it, though thankfully, between my speed and voluminous robe, I doubt the watchers caught on to what was happening. Indeed, as the question that came suggested...
''How are you doing that?'' a Rested asked, their face almost humanlike in curiosity.
My own visage, covered by unnatural shadows, only consisted of patches of pale skin (though I''d noticed I was getting tanner lately, relatively speaking, as I did at sea or in other windy places) and eyes that blazed like green fires. The inhuman appearance was, honestly, not necessary for the show - but who''s ever entered theatre to be practical?
''With ease, dear fellow!'' My smug thunderclap of a voice, crafted through remembered loudness, was not necessary either, but I enjoyed using it. What the Pit...I''d spent enough time thinking about what was necessary. I needed to begin living again, or I''d die glum and paranoid, like a thousand thousand times a thousand thousand sailors past had.A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
''You might be wondering why I am upside down?'' Not waiting for a response - or tacking on some joke about how I was upside down because I wasn''t on my feet, something I was sure would''ve tempted my captain -, I added, ''It is for the ambience, gentlefolk, the ambience! You see, in only a fraction of my worldly span, my life was turned upside down. So it is only proper...''
They didn''t really need my explanation, I think. If the Rested were truly lobotomised (though I was wary of using that adjective. How much did I know about lobotomies, after all?), then their minds, brains, whichever the procedure concerned, had been altered selectively. That is, they did not seem to be stupider overall; instead, certain facets of their thinking process appeared lessened. Whatever part of the brain concerned expressivity had clearly been affected, in my opinion.
There was some dismay shortly after the true start of the performance, at the parts concerning my boyhood. As I would learn after I finished, the sadness was unrelated to my parents'' ineptness in of itself, but rather, to the choices I had made after leaving my past behind.
''Imagine!'' I crowed, pressing a hand against my face as I flipped to land on my feet. ''Imagine, being the poor fool who made prey of himself, because of childhood fears! All of that, for nothing!''
My laugh, to some surprise on my own part, was not forced. The lengths I had gone to, for the sake of my safety, were, in fact, absurd. Oh, yes, it''d all seemed reasonable at the time, but what insanity doesn''t? And now, looking back...the paranoia, the things it had made me do...it was actually hilarious, in a bleak sort of way.
Now, not everyone found such things funny. My current audience seemed as torn as their insides doubtlessly were on how to react, which a spiteful part of me found a welcome contrast to their usually empty faces. I had been chased out of more than one considerably boorish inn or tavern for "bringing down the mood". Utter lies, as you can imagine. I am far too charming to upset anyone, much less people as seasoned as those who have sailed Midworld for decades.
I neglected sharing details about my crew, lest the island get the idea to lure them here or send its puppets after them, if it could. Ib could defend itself, I was sure, but I got the feeling the grey giant would not have appreciated my journey here resulting in it getting an unannounced visit. The more I imagined the scenario, the louder my instincts screamed "Failure!".
I agreed. Making Serene Rest take a more active interest in the wider world would''ve made me an accomplice to the murder of countless minds and souls, if not bodies - and the resulting, unending desecration of the corpses would be worse than mere death.
As for the others...Mharra was a resourceful man. I had no doubt that, now that he had been pushed to confront his past, he would find a way out of the island''s mind games, or perhaps avoid them altogether.
And then there was Three, gone beyond my reach but not from my heart. Beyond Serene Rest''s reach? I was not sure, but I did not want to wager anything. If the island learned about him, became curious and somehow found and twisted him, I''d never forgive myself, even if Mharra did.
So, when I did speak of my recent journeys, I made sure to keep references to my crewmates vague, so that they could be assumed to be almost any species. This took some spice out of the storytelling...the telling itself, that is. With some mana turned into light and bend, and the voices of my crew remembered, I was able to bring my modified tale to life in a way that required no costumes or props.
I only had so much to work with while keeping the identities of those involved secret, but I like to think, at least for people who saw excitement about as often as I saw land that didn''t sink, it was interesting enough.
''And that damned boat, so temperamental!'' I pressed a hand to my face, turning and tilting my head slightly so that, of my features, the audience could only catch a single eye. I was getting closer to the present in my retelling, and, as I did so, I wondered whatever had happened to the steamer''s spawn, or whatever that thing was to our ship. Was it still waiting for my return, floating next to the shore and ready to go at any moment? Or had it perceived the peril of this place and begun ramming against the shore, seeking to split and sink this island? And maybe hit me if it was lucky...
I mean, even if it hadn''t senses me being attacked, if Serene Rest had reached out towards what passed for its mind, the contraption would''ve struck back on principle.
In any case, there was not much of the story left. I almost began speaking about my encounter with Serene Rest, whilst debating whether to couch its assault on my mind in polite terms or be blunt, when one of the Rested held up a hand, signalling me to halt. ''And then I...yes? Is something the matter?'' I asked after a moment''s hesitation. Understanding came quickly: they must''ve been told of how I''d come here, either as humans spoke to each other or mind to mind, the island''s knowledge filling their heads.
Whether these folk were people in their own right or toys in Serene Rest''s dollhouse, they knew what had happened, so there was no need to go over it. Although...I wondered. Had the island not glimpsed enough of my past to create a simulacrum of Aina? Why not share that, too, with its prey?
Hope kindled in my heart. What if the Rested were not as helpless as they looked? What if, with enough of a push, they could free themselves? Keeping the masses ignorant, unaware of even the possibility of a better life, had been a beloved tool of tyrants since time immemorial. If...
The Rested who had held up their hand now rose from their seat, walking closer to the stage. My actor''s pride prickled - what, was I not entertaining enough? -, but I let the nonsensical vexation go. This was the equivalent of a screaming outburst, from a more lively person. There had to be a reason.
When they stopped to look up at me, their face was crinkled by a hopeful smile. ''Are you going to stay, then?'' they murmured.
''Aye...the show is not over,'' I replied, playing the fool. It looked like another attempt to change my mind, by hook or crook, was coming.
I know not whether the Rested bought my act, but they shook their head, before rephrasing the question. ''No. Are you going to remain?''
''No,'' I answered, unable to keep some acid out of my voice. ''Ask the woman who speaks for you, or the one behind her. She''ll tell you why, I am sure.''
The Rested held an arm out to the side, hand open and facing upwards as if presenting some wares for my inspection. ''What purpose is there in returning? You have never known aught but woe, from cradle to manhood.''
''One could see it that way,'' I acquiesced. ''But I have found joy too, and learned to cherish it.''
''Have you?'' They sounded more pitying than doubtful. It did not rankle less. ''Joy in what? The friends you speak so obliquely of?''
Fhaalqi''s talons...had the lack of detail made me look insincere? I could''ve wept at the though of getting into trouble for my dishonesty, again.
''My crewmates are who they are,'' I snapped, ''and that is not for you to know. Now, I would like you to return to your seat and let me resume the show. If you have got bored, do everyone else a favour and leave.''
It lowered its arm and, with both by its sides, stepped back, stopping right when the other Rested, standing up, matched its posture. They crossed their arms in uncanny synchronisation, reminding me more of a mantis wasp swarm than a human crowd. I recognised the posture, from dozens of inn and city guards: I was not getting away.
Or so they thought, at least. I''ve always enjoyed proving fools wrong, and not just for the sake of my pride, though it often benefitted anyway.
''You must remain,'' they intoned, sounding for all like a giant than a group, so little difference was there between their voices. ''Will you return to the wider world to stew in misery and spread it to others? Even if you truly wished to refuse healing, your place would still bee here.''
''Aye, I''m sure you''d leave my mind untouched,'' I sneered, cane at the ready. ''Enough. I no longer wish to perform. Make way.''
At first, I had been quite happy to see the hall filled with Rested, but now, with them blocking the path to the door, I was once again reminded of how what we saw as gifts at first often turned out poisoned, much like the anger and hatred Fhaalqi had given to man.
Predictably, they did not budge. I was preparing to jump over them, or straight through the building, with remembered strength, when fog filled the chamber, quickly swallowing all features and leaving only the Rested and myself as visible. This, much like what followed, happened far faster than I could''ve perceived without my mana. The fog was preceded by what my arcane sense, intertwined with my hearing, registered as a hiss and pop, though it was far faster than sound could travel.
The Rested crossed the gap between us faster than even that, and it was only thanks to my rememebered speed that I was able to fend them off. Pulling my cane apart, I pointed my sword at the throat of the Rested closest to me, while holding my staff, crackling and topped with a sphere of mana, towards the others.
''Do not be foolish,'' I urged. ''What does it matter whether I leave or not? I am one man.''
''Everyone deserves salvation,'' they droned, eyes alight with the passion of fanatics. When they leapt at me, I no longer resulted to threats. My sword flashed out, carving through handfuls of bodies that made steel look like rotten string. As the rested fell apart, cleaved in half at the waist or down the middle of their heads, I mused that the island must''ve empowered them. They had not felt like this earlier, had not felt like much at all, in fact. If so, Serene Rest was a subtler thaumaturge than I''d judged it as. Even now, I could not feel any more energy from the Rested than from a common stick.
I sidestepped and slipped under punches so fast fists were wreathed in flame from friction, lopping off limbs and torsos. Burst of mana flew from my staff, each burning Rested to smoke and less than smoke by the dozen. When I saw the pile of dismembered bodies clambering back up, limbs and appendages flying back to them like iron filings to the metal that called, I turned my staff their way, blasting them to less than steam before they could find their footing once again.
In less than a thousandth of a heartbeat, it was over, with me standing amidst fog that felt strangely empty. According to the magic that overlaid my mundane senses, the fixtures weren''t actually gone, I just could not touch them. Scoffing at my Gift''s inclination towards sophistry, I moved to either find an exit or make one, weapons in hand. No new enemy reared their head, but I knew better than to think that an admission of defeat. Pit, I was surprised the floor - which I could feel but not see - didn''t break open under my feet to allow in some new monster created by Serene Rest, or the island itself.
There was no light to tell time by, and I had no timepiece on my. I could only count my breaths and heartbeats, which I did for hours as I sought a means of escape. All the while, I remembered strength, speed, raw mana for greater blasts, but neither my limbs, my sword nor my magic could touch anything. I might as well have been playacting at war.
It was at the thirteenth hour that she appeared.
''What a moving reunion,'' I cooed, turning to face her with a blast charged and my sword glowing white with remembered heat. I was glad for deciding to strengthen my body during my search, else I would have been turned to ash in just by stepping near the blazing blade, much less holding it. ''Wherever were you while I retraced my path? One would think you''d enjoy seeing me scampering about, with how you tried to put me on strings. Or didn''t you want to go over what you already know from rummaging through my head?''
Aina''s doppelganger was dressed more modestly now, not like when she''d recently tried to seduce me. It mattered not. I was still going to turn the lying creature to a pile of offal, or whatever Serene Rest had spun her from. I could hear no footsteps as she seemingly glided over the hidden floor, nor any of the little sounds that showed a human was alive. Her hands, hidden by her sleeves like mine had been at the start of the spectacle, were clasped in front of her.
I narrowed my eyes, ready for her to pull a hidden weapon or prepared spell on me. I did not expect her to smile, though, not l like this. This was no gloating grin oozing arrogance, no smirk twisting her lips as she chastised my stubborn refusal to yield in exasperated disappointment. She looked sad, for me. ''Still not submitting, Ryz...when are you going to stop hurting yourself?''
''Better me than you lot. At least I know what I''m doing.'' A bolt of lightning, born from the combined memories of ten thousand thunderstorms, ran down the length of my blade, before turning back to wrap around it again, crackling. ''Let me go, or I will bring this damned place down on your head, give it to the sea. You will never trap another soul again.''
Her hands moved to her sides as she took a step closer, hips swaying. I inwardly sighed. Still attempting to seduce me...? Some women had an inherent grace when it came to striding, and then there were those you could tell were exaggerating their movements. Much like garish makeup or uselessly large weapons and codpieces, it reeked of insecurity. Or tastelessness, depending on the person.
''You have bitten off more than you can chew. You are simply yet to realise it,'' she declared. ''Serene Rest made this inescapable space as a cage, just for you, and you think you can resist its advances?''
I huffed. ''If it is so powerful, how come I''m still on my feet, not on my knees? I-'' But there was no more time to speak, for the fog under my boots morphed into a thick, squamous substance, which I began falling through far faster than my weight should have warranted...no, not falling. I was being pulled!
I grit my teeth behind a closed mouth, which I soon covered with magic; the last thing I wanted was to swallow whatever this thing was. Coverings of transparent mana appeared over my nose, ears and eyes, allowing me to keep track of my surroundings while hopefully protecting me.
''You must know you cannot escape, Ryzhan.'' Aina''s voice was as clear as a bell, for all I was buried under yards of flesh denser than any metal or stone. As I tried to "swim" upwards, ripping through the obstacle with my legs and weapons alike, I saw that what I had mistaken for scales were actually bones, pushed close to the surface of the hide that covered whatever this creature was. But the bones weren''t long and stout, like I would have expected from such a gargantuan being. Indeed they felt more like gravel, as if someone had beaten the thing to death, though it was as healthy as anything...
My eyes narrowed behind the mana visor I''d crafted. At the same time I focused mana into my staff, blasting downwards so I would go flying, I extended my arcane sense towards the critter, wondering why this ordeal felt strangely familiar. It was not the time I''d met Ib this reminded me of, for all the superficial similarities. The grey being had done little that warranted being compared to this loathsome blob.
No wonder I''d senses so little from the cause of this ordeal! The island must''ve reused the remnants of the Rested, if they could be called that, in order to craft this thing. The damnable spit of rock could turn the unseen particles that made up gases into solid matter once again. Not unbelievable, with how it could create mock-people and unending prisons, but my lack of surprise at this revelation did little to help me escape.
I should''ve ripped through the mutilated thing like a missile, propelled by the power of my magic, but it reacted to my every move, turning bonelessly to keep me trapped. Worse, every time I attempted to escape, it grew both harder and more flexible; Serene Rest was not done powering its newest toy.
Blades and spears of bone thrust out from within its mass, digging into my torso, while smaller weapons (or were they talons and teeth?) bit at my joints and throat, causing my to drop my weapons, the bloated mass quickly pulling them out of my perception''s range. None of the wounds was deep enough to be mortal, but they were spilled blood and weaken me. I remembered health and more power, trying to free myself, and that was when the island''s assault on my mind, not felt since the uneasy truce between me and its emissary, was renewed.
Beleaguered, I could no longer grow my power, and lay bleeding in the grasp of the corpse pile, its fangs a hair away from skewering me to death. With a squelching, inhuman sound that nevertheless managed to sound triumphant, the thing opened, disgorging me so that I landed on my knees, though not without toothed tendrils wrapped around every weak spot on my body. Serene Rest kept striking at my mind, like a sledgehammer hitting a wall, and I think it was only the bladed tentacles that kept me from falling onto my face.
The false Aina knelt before me, chuckling when she saw the hateful glare I levelled at her, and took my head in her hands, pressing her brow against mine. I recoiled at the touch, as if one of those storm-blooded eels had slithered over my skin, but she pulled back to fast for me to bite or headbutt her.
I doubted it would''ve accomplished anything other than giving Serene Rest a reason to create a new avatar, but small victories were better than none.
The wrought woman grasped my chin, clawed fingers drawing blood. ''Do you have any idea what you''ve done, fool?'' she asked, grabbing my throat with her other hand and squeezing. ''The Rested you broke will have to be brought back, formed into their old bodies. Their minds and spirits will have to be restored, after you so callously spurned them.''
It must''ve been the first break from an ages-long routine. I had nothing to give her but a proud smirk. The slap it earned turned my head and ripped my cheek open to the bone, making me laugh weakly. ''I''ve been hit worse by better women. For better reasons, too.''
Aina sniffed. ''If you knew of what Serene Rest is sacrificing to keep you like this, you would not be so flippant.'' Each word was punctuated by another hammer blow to my mind. I reeled from them, my body twitching as if they were physical strikes, and something warm and thick began dripping from one eye. Was it bleeding? My vision wasn''t darkening, but...
''What is it giving up?'' I asked derisively. ''The chance to kill me in one hit?'' Sadism fit the place like a glove.
''Ever since your childish attempt to refuse serenity, the Rested have been neglected.''
The Rested...? Ah. She must''ve mean the ones I hadn''t seen. What did neglect even entail for them? Were they remembering their past selves and despairing? That felt too optimistic. Were they instead sitting around aimlessly, like marionettes with their strings cut?
I couldn''t help but grin wolfishly. Was the old monster sad it wasn''t getting to play anymore? This might''ve been the first time it had truly been denied.
I hoped it hurt.
''While you rebel against your fate,'' she continued, ''they are bereft of Serene Rest''s guiding hand. Only its mark keeps them from relapsing into the madness of their former lives.''
''My fate?'' I repeated, wheezing under the mental pressure, not to mention that of her hand on my neck. ''I think not.''
''It is the fate of all who come here,'' she retorted, eyes turning cold. ''Lower your defences. Let yourself be taken, and this can end. You will never know pain or doubt again. Why do you deny yourself peace?''
Had I been free, I would''ve wagged a finger at her, but in my predicament, I could only manage a taunting look. ''I will err on the side of spite, I think. But, since we are asking questions, I have one of my own: why don''t you relent?'' My eyes held her empty, pitiless orbs. ''You must know I will never open my mind to this desecration. I would rather die - what would it take for you to understand that? Your master can kill me,'' I dipped my chin to indicate the wicked barbs piercing my flesh, ''and in doing so, admit it couldn''t undo a mage who knows his craft.''
I might have been projecting too many human traits unto the island, but considering it enslaved people with no benefit to itself I could see, it must''ve had something like an ego, a sense of pleasure...something to manipulate. My defiance, like its memory, would irk it. Maybe enough to never try ensnaring another person again, lest they prove unexpectedly powerful? Dying for that would be worth remembering...
''You are not the only soul here.'' For someone who looked like she was about to bristle, she sounded remarkably calm. ''Little would be lost if you were struck down here.''
''Indeed,'' I acknowledged, ''but how long would that loss linger? Has this marvellous island of yours ever failed to ensnare someone? Could it cope with the failure? How long until its hurt pride undoes it focus, tainting the serenity it wishes to bestow on others? What will happen then?'' I smirked. ''I''m sure you will have many chances to find out. After all, I am not the only soul here.''
In my experience, throwing someone''s words back in their face during a tense moment is likely to earn you a slap at best in half the cases. Aina squeezed my neck like one of those rubber balls I''ve seen beleaguered folks use to calm themselves, but she wasn''t aiming to kill.
Heh. Knowledge earned through pain was often bittersweet, but this - more confirmation that the island was possessed of humours, like a being of flesh, for the construct had no anger of her own - was worth it. If the construct had gone through with strangling me to death or snapping my neck, only to show her frustration after...I was sure my soul would''ve been quite cross, whatever god''s side it ended at.
Aina let go, stood up and stepped back, at the same time the island ceased hammering at my mind. Its flesh pile of a slave did not let go, but I did not need movement to work my magic. Remembering myself healthy, I looked up at the mock-woman, looking for a sign of her thoughts, but her expression was indecipherable, just as her hidden self was veiled from my arcane sense.
My heart finished beating once by the time she finished deliberating, during which I let myself peer inwards to contemplate Vhaarn. I hardly had a choice: with my magic sharpening my perception of time, this heartbeat felt like a year and a half.
''Let us make a deal, then,'' Aina said - and this time, there was nothing womanly, or indeed human, in her voice. It sounded like a grand avalanche, the though of sound one of the larger Seaworms might produce. ''You will be allowed to go...as our herald.'' Serene Rest, for the thing speaking to me could be nothing else, flashed me a smile with all the warmth of a stone carving. ''You will tell those who have grown weary of Midowrld about this refuge, and they will come to us.''
I groaned, partly to test my voice now that my flesh had healed. ''If I am to drag every new face I meet here like a hunting dog, you might as well kill me now.''
''That will not be necessary,'' the island replied. ''The promise shall be enough, you will see. Besides,'' its chuckle was like boulders down a mountain, ''it is not like you could find your way back if you wanted to, no? You did not even arrive by yourself. Your vessel did all the work.''
The tendrils let go, and the thing they belonged to slithered through the floor as if it were the surface of a pool, likely going wherever its master had bid it to wait until it could be broken apart into its component Rested. I placed a hand against the floor and pushed myself up. In the same motion, I remembered my cane, which appeared in my grip, either the original stolen away by the shapeless monster or an exact copy.
It did not matter. I had once heard that the unseen things that made up human bodies decayed and were replace every day, but that did not make someone a different person after the whole body was renewed. All I cared about was that I had my weapons.
''That seems a small price to pay for my freedom,'' I said cautiously. ''Did you perhaps want to add something?''
Serene Rest made the construct place a hand on its chest. ''We think you misunderstand our desires, Ryzhan. Bringing peace to the harrowed is not a need of ours, not like feeding or drinking is to lesser forms of life. It is something we enjoy, something we excel at - one leads to the other -, but it is something we have to do. Should no one take up your offer...'' it shrugged. ''We will not lose anything, truly.''
''And how do you know I will speak to anyone of you? Don''t tell me you''re counting on my honour...'' I stopped rubbing the wrist of my cane-hand to narrow my eyes at the puppet. ''You''d better not have placed something in me to track my progress, or I will-''
''Be quiet,'' it said calmly, not that it had the kind of voice you needed to raise. ''We can keep track of matters pertaining to us. You have been here; we will know when you spread the word of our oasis.''
''And if I disagree?'' I asked. ''Will you kill me where I stand, then raise my corpse as another of your pet freaks?''
A corner of its mouth curved upwards. ''We do not think you are curious enough to risk that, Ryzhan. Now...''
* * *
Aina
''You might wanna check your breathing, hon.''
''What''s wrong with it?'' Aina asked bitingly, irritated by Mendax''s matter-of-fact voice. How could it be so calm? Her lips had pulled back from needle teeth as soon as Ryzhan was attacked, and her face hadn''t brightened since.
''It ain''t happening.''
Aina blinked at the words - tried to, then noticed her eyes, rounder and more numerous than before, had no lids. With that came the realisation that she hadn''t been breathing for a while, except to speak moments ago. The woman glanced down at herself, at the collection of misshapen limbs that had shredded her dress, and sighed.
''Look away, will you?'' she asked, turning from Mendax as she began the slow process of forcing her body back into a human shape. By the end, she''d be naked save for the tatters of her dress, but the change until that point wasn''t the sort of thing she wanted a stranger to see.
''Can do,'' the Meddler said easily. ''You can relax now, I''d say. Your Ryzhan kept a cool head, didn''t he? And he got away, in the end.'' Mendax was nodding approvingly, to her annoyance.
''He could''ve died, you heartless bastard,'' she spat. ''And that might''ve been only the beginning of suffering. You could''ve saved him with all the ffort of lifting a finger, I know it.''
''Should I have "saved" him when his father was beating him bloody, too? Hmm? When his mother did bugger all but stand by and offer snide commentary?'' Mendax shook a finger at her. ''You focus too much on such small moments of time...as if it even exists. Had I intervened now, or then, I''d have stunted his growth as surely as death itself.''
Aina formed an eye on what had been her shoulder, giving the trickster a skeptical look. He stuck his hands into the pockets of his robe (had he always had them?) and leaned back in his chair. ''Magic grows when the trinity of self is challenged,'' he continued. ''Body, mind and soul. Do you think his parents were just trying to slake their bloodlust while avoiding murder when they raised him? That was a reason too, yes - but they knew that adversity was one of the best ways to shape him into a strong mage.'' A slit of light regarded her from the gloom of Mendax''s cowl, the look so piercing she didn''t even snap at him for . ''Where do you think he''d be, without that pain?''
Dead. His corpse left in some ditch or alley, or rotting under the waves. Stabbed, throttled, shot, poisoned, crushed - or worse. Aina felt her lungs shrink and straighten, no longer the twisted, elongated things they had become. ''You are saying it was good for him?''
Mendax tossed a small, round thing from one hand to another, almost too fast for her to perceive. She was reminded of those little balls children back home used to slap over a table with wooden paddles. ''It was certainly not bad...'' He let the toy drop into his lap, where it disappeared between the folds of his robe as surely as within a whirlpool. ''Now, then. Shall we take a gander at the others?''
Interlude: Midworld, A Stage (Two)
Mharra
The captain of the Rainbow Burst had never been a towering man, but he''d shared enough happy moments with tall, lanky sorts that, when he had to ask for something from the top shelf because he couldn''t find a stepstool or jump high enough, he no longer simmered with envy.
As much.
Three used to joke that all his height had gone into bulk, among other features he liked, which explained why he was almost as wide as he was tall, not to mention robust.
That still didn''t take the sting out of a boychild almost meeting his eyes without even needing to stand on his tiptoes.
Still, Mharra mused, almost stroking his beard out of habit, it was interesting to see such a strapping lad, especially for his age (the captain doubted a wisp of a beard had ever touched his face), when surely the boy mostly sat around and played.
Could it be that so much of Midworld was wrong when it came to childrearing? That growing up in the harshest of places and struggling did not actually make one stronger? Some of the scrappiest fighters Mharra had met had grown up deprived of much - Ryzhan was a prime example, even if he''d had it better than most, parents aside -, but grit and guile were not the same as health and strength. Tide Elders knew he''d had that lesson smacked into his head in enough bar brawls.
Mharra shook his head rapidly, as if to clear his ears of water, and would''ve slapped his cheeks, had his audience asked for a lighter performance - but such things could come across as a lack of interest, when preparing for a sad show.
The lad, Tekhar, had the fair skin and rosy cheeks of folks who spent most of their time in their ships'' cabins. Mharra, so used to those tanned by sun and wind, almost thought he might''ve been one of those paler people, but his complexion was not like milk or marble: merely like Ryzhan''s had been before he''d spent some more time at sea.
Mharra found himself studying the boy. He couldn''t have been too far from the beginnings of manhood, smooth as his features were...surely his parents had taken him out to walk the deck once or twice, or to play on some vessel''s rigging? He was more than old enough, not to mention muscled. All from playing inside? More oddness.
Tekhar is bearing some sort of strange purse, with the handles going over his shoulders, like those of the bags some peddlers use, but its make is too fine as that of any satchel. Soft, black material and a line of silver teeth Tekhar calls a zipper, which can be closed or opened more easily than knots.
The zipper is half-open at the moment, with the boy''s beloved critter peeking out. Mharra had never heard of keeping slimes as pets, with most of them being far too busy eating and dissolving whatever they can engulf to be tamed, if they can even understand people. Verdant, as he calls it, is, however, attentive and curious: Mharra can feel its eyes boring into him, even if they are only thin black lines, seeming closed. The captain is unsure it even has eyeballs.
As Mharra explained the role of Three, the slime''s body changed from the emerald green he guessed was its default look, given the name. More than a few times, it became as white as freshly-fallen snow, or as dark as tar, round form shifting slightly to track the pacing Mharra. Between that and the gurgling, almost inaudible sound it emitted, he was reminded of a cat.
One of those fat ones folks of means used to carry around on their shoulders and pull into their laps when they sat down, he thought, remembering his people. If the slime sprouted ears, too, he''d be tempted to throw it a fish, just to see the results.
Curiosity. Was that it? Mharra has never seen a coloured slime turn black or white, orange for gluttony and red for agitation being the most usual shifts, and he wondered what it meant. Cats often had coats of white or black, or combinations, especially spotted ones, and they were curious.
White was also what many learned folks said light was before it was split, and Mharra''s tricks with prisms backed up the idea, at least when magic and other uncanny powers were not to close by to warp the laws of nature. Black and white, when counted as colours, were often considered the basis of the others, not just of grey. They were beginnings.
Could slimes, and their changing bodies, reflect that? Was it intentional - did Verdant understand what it was doing, if it was aware of it? What thoughts such creatures he''d dismissed as simple could inspire...
''All right, my boy,'' Mharra said, ''you don''t have to put on the makeup, but, if you want to look like your character?'' The captain gestured for him to come closer, then turn his head. ''Just the cheeks, maybe. Not much flour or powder needed. You''re already close to Three''s looks.''
''I understand, sailor,'' Tekhar replied, before a nervous look entered his eyes. Black as night, they were darker than most Mharra had seen, but almost seemed to shine when the light caught them just so, somehow. ''Ah...I understand he meant much to you, but will we have to reenact...everything?''
Storm and tide, what? ''Of course not!'' Mharra said, waving his hands briskly. ''I wouldn''t ask this of an assistant, never have.'' Partly because Three would''ve been jealous, even if Mharra had got over his mortification at the idea. A stranger, and a child at that? Elders... ''You don''t even have to hold my hand if you don''t want to, Tekh. I was taunting you folks earlier,'' he winked, ''but my ship can make props, even a costume for you. Or switch you with a mannequin so fast no one watching would notice.''
Not that he was planning on reenacting any intimate moments - whatever the perception of actors as showboating deviants, Mharra was ambivalent at best about mentioning lovemaking, much less anything more overt -, but...no.
It wasn''t just having to go over what he''d shared with Three while his ghost was still missing. It was that, out of Elders knew however many thousands were watching, they''d sent a child to be his partner.
Mharra was no stranger to cultures in which people preferred to pick their lovers nice and young. Why, his own parents had entertained the idea of finding him a girl as soon as the physicians had determined his seed could take root in one''s womb and give them a grandchild. Had he been a woman, they''d surely have sought a boy as soon as the bleeding heralded by the moon''s cycles started. But none of that made it him feel any less like a snake next to a mouse.
Tekhar himself was apprehensive, which just made him feel more guilty. He shouldn''t have accepted this. But there might just have been a solution.
''Say, lad,'' Mharra spoke quietly, unsure whether everyone around them had humanlike hearing. ''Verdant, your slimy friend there in your satchel. How well can it shift shape?''
Tekhar''s eyes moved to the slime, which turned black again, the lines that were its eyes becoming white. It reminded Mharra of some pirates who kept parrots on their shoulders and were surprised by the birds'' ramblings from time to time. He confessed he didn''t quite see the appeal.
The fact most parrots he knew had such plumage as might distract people from his outfits and tricks was not a factor at all. Not that an entertainer of his calibre could be outshone by a bird.
As if it reassure himself, Mharra adjusted his lapels and pulled his collar higher.
''It can,'' Tekhar said of the slime, reaching up to pat what passed for its forehead. In response, the critter released a sound like a cat purring, as if heard through water. Smiling absently at it for a heartbeat, he faced Mharra once more. ''Why do you ask? I thought you only needed a person for the role of this Three ghost? Is your ship no longer willing to bend light into props to stand in for the other characters?''
He was just curious, like any child his age (not that Mharra was sure what that was, besides too young for anything he and Three had done), but the captain still did not want to admit anything about his vessel. True, the pleasure fleet had welcomed him and regaled him with stories of their happy dwelling in this doldrum, but they were an open, honest culture of the sort that died or otherwise faded quickly in the wider Midworld. Not to mention, their ships seemed inanimate wood and stone, not living, cantankerous beings like his Burst.
''Do not worry about the props,'' he told Tekhar, eyes darting to see if their observers were getting bored or annoyed. Those who still stood on decks or leaned against masts or over railings were distracting themselves with a variety of diversions, from cards and dice and knucklebones to pantomime. Some were preparing instruments (for their own pleasure?) and Mharra entertained the thought of asking them to provide some of their own music for the show, help them feel like they were contributing.
Aye, that might''ve driven them to ask him to perform longer in exchange, but that was why he lived. And Ib had not said anything about a limit on the time spent on this journey, so surely there was no harm in dawdling a bit.
''What is the matter, then?''
At the slight agitation in the boy''s voice, Mharra put on his reassuring smile, hoping it didn''t make him look like he''d just finished scamming someone, as Ryzhan said it did. ''Don''t worry, Tek. Just lost in my own thoughts. So, can Verdant shift?''
Tekhar nodded. ''It can, yes, but if you were hoping to make it turn into Three''s two other selves while I play one...'' he trailed off, rubbing the back of his head. ''There is this string of protoplasm joining its selves when it splits itself into two or more bodies.''
''An eyesore, is it?''
''Visible if you squint.''
''No matter, then. Who would pay attention to wirework when I''m on the scene?'' Mharra asked with playful arrogance, wiggling his eyebrows. Tekhar gave a small, nervous chuckle, but that was fine. Stage fright, which hobbled even people who made their living like this. He wasn''t forcing himself to laugh at Mharra''s antics, which the captain found even more frustrating than silence.
When the boy stopped, he turned his head, looking for something across the ships'' decks. His parents?
''No,'' Tekhar said when Mharra asked as much. ''I don''t have-I''ve never wanted to find out.'' He shrugged quickly, in that way that made it plain he was not actually disinterested, and launched into an explanation.
Communal childrearing was not uncommon in Midworld, especially in cases where the parents had important functions to perform on their ship or in their fleet; it also doubled as a way to have the sprogs quickly brush up on their future duties, by having them tag along crewmembers. Of course, in other cases, even those who had time to raise others'' children didn''t have the mood for the little ones getting underfoot.
The pleasure fleet''s creches were a fairly unusual adaptation of such an idea, however. Children being raised in the lap of luxury, not knowing if they shared blood with their caretakers unless they liked them enough to ask who they were? Most cultures did not have the patience for such things, even when they had the time and resources.
Mharra just saw it as a pointless game - why shouldn''t a child know where they came from? -, but then, dealing with his parents had soured him when it came to rituals. It didn''t matter, anyway.
His assistant did. ''Say, Tekh.'' He clapped the lad on the shoulder. ''How come that, out of all these lovers of art and beauty, you were the one that came to my stage.'' He pulled his hand back, smiling to take any bite out of the question. ''I don''t doubt you enjoy those things as well, but how come everyone agreed on you assisting me so quickly?''
Tekhar''s eyes shifted from side to side, but this time, Mharra could tell he wasn''t looking to see whoever he''d been looking for was there. More to make sure no one was too close. ''Can your ship make...shelter? Barriers? A tent, maybe?''
Mharra cocked a brow, but gestured subtly, in case the steamer was feeling too surly too take suggestions from strangers. Its moods were mercurial enough he wouldn''t have been surprised to discover quicksilver at its heart. With a grunt that could be interpreted as everything except enthusiastic, the ship acceded to Tekhar''s request, and a sphere of its metal rose to surround its captain and his assistant.
Wondering what hidden mechanisms let air in, for there were no windows or other openings, Mharra said, ''I think this takes care of eavesdroppers, no?''
Another grunt from beneath, followed by a series of sounds Mharra felt more than heard. Each felt subtly different, and...yes, together, they spelled out (was that the right term?) words, each letter ringing against a different bone.
''You think these garlanded milksops can get through my defences? Just because I''m being made to bob in place like a bath toy, it doesn''t mean I''m useless.''
Mharra had not intended to imply anything of the sort, as he subvocalised to the irate steamer.
''I am offended you needed to ask.'' For something that surrounded them, the ship definitely gave the impression of someone who''d left in a huff.
Well, if I never find Three and speak those vows we''ve dreamed of, at least I''ll have this grump around to make me feel married, Mharra thought wryly. But he had other things to keep in mind besides a hypothetical wedding with his ship.
Like why Tekhar was getting cold feet. Unlike several of Mharra''s former temporary assistants, the boy''s nervousness didn''t take the form of shaking, sweating, cold palms or the like. Merely hesitation.
''Speak, then,'' Mharra prompted, leaning against one of the construct''s walls with his arms crossed. This drew a pleased sigh from the steamer, like the sound an immense, contented dog might make.
Perhaps because it made him feel more at ease, Tekhar mirrored Mharra''s pose. The sigh the Burst released at this had nothing to do with contentedness.
Placing a calming hand on his vessel''s skin, Mharra held Tekhar''s eyes. ''Don''t worry about that. Old ship, old sounds. You know how it is.''
Tekhar nodded, unsure. ''As you say, captain.'' His voice cracked at the last word, making him roll his eyes before he cleared his throat. That age, Mharra thought, remembering how annoyed he''d got during the midst of his life''s second decade. ''Ahem...you could say, captain Mharra, that I am here to prove my people wrong.''
Mharra (to his credit, he thought) did not run away at this suggestion of fleet politics, unlike his younger self might have. His life had been as peaceful as one could expect in Midworld because he stayed away from other people''s problems. ''Unless they''re convinced you''re an awful actor or public speaker, I can''t help much with that, laddie.''
Tekhar smirked thinly, nervously. ''Something like that.'' He licked his lips, which Mharra not noticed he must''ve bit often, and looked aisde, at Verdant. The slime made a sound that must''ve been encouragement or reassurance, because Tekhar nodded briskly, before his gaze moved to his boots. ''You have not been with us long, sir, but I''d wager you might''ve noticed some of the, ah, open air revelries?''
What people did on their own decks was their business, even if one could''ve wished they were subtler. To be honest, Mharra had listened little, not wanting to be reminded of what he''d lost, and had eventually asked the Rainbow Burst to soundproof itself. Not completely - he still wanted to be able to hear in case someone of the pleasure fleet called on him, for whatever reason - but enough not to be disturbed.
On his walks. Three, or whatever that apparition, or hallucination, had been hadn''t returned. Hunting for daydreams was the business of people who usually got locked up in attics, but a captain with no crew had little else to do, especially when Mharra was not looking to recruit. It''d taken pressganging here, and to be honest, he wanted new crewmembers even less than his living vessel needed them. There was no point in growing attached to someone just to lose them, and he didn''t want to become the sort of man who saw sailors as numbers in a ledger.
''I''ve heard enough,'' Mharra hedged.
''I gather you rather did!'' Tekhar gave a short laugh, which did little for his confidence. ''We don''t see them often or for long, but we receive guests from the World of Woe sometimes.'' The pleasure fleet''s name for the greater part of Midworld was not inappropriate, Mharra thought. ''They are, ah, often put off by how we take our pleasures.''
Loudly and constantly? ''I can see why people more concerned with survival would be offended.'' On top of feeling jealous.
Tekhar pointed a finger at him, letting his other finger fall by his side. ''You are not wrong. Our thinkers say life without joy is just living death. I happen to agree, though not as, uh, enthusiastically as most folk of our fleet would.''
Mharra treaded a few fingers through the bottom of his beard. ''So you jumped into something new, to prove you''re not a coward.''
''Not a coward, and not a prude, either.'' Tekhar''s dark look and tone pointed to old arguments. ''Truly, just because I don''t sow my seed in every girl who can bleed...'' he shook his head. ''Forget it. Not something you''d care about, sir.''
''I might,'' Mharra countered. ''I''ve known cultures to bar some folks from their joys, unless they contribute in some way.'' Mharra felt awkward needling a youth who might share his inclination about this, but, if he could help... ''None of what we say will leave these walls,'' he promised. ''My ship keeps secrets well, and I am no gossipmonger like some sailors.'' At Tekhar''s lost expression, he elaborated. ''Are your people forcing these girls on you? Would you rather be with a boy, or-''
''No, no!'' Tekhar cut him off, waving his hands with a blush. ''That is not the issue, sir. I love women'' He coughed. ''It''s the pushiness. I''d rather choose for myself, when my fancy strikes. I don''t need bloody suitors.''
''I see.'' Mharra went for a warm smile, to get rid of any lingering mortification. ''Your fleet does not push people to love a certain way, then? I am glad. The more enlightened folks I''ve come across share this trait.''
Tekhar, absently patting his slime as it crawled into his pack, looked aside. ''Well. It''s just rumours, you understand, but I''ve heard of this plot to make sure those who don''t love all manners of people to be bred out of the population by those who do. I''ve certainly heard table talk that those who only prefer men or womenfolk are relics of the past and should be done away with, but that was just rambling from the debauched.''
''Indeed?'' That sounded...sinister. Aye, Mharra might''ve wished his parents hadn''t been such vicious fools, but removing people because their passions were "limited" struck him as ridiculous.
''Nothing will come of it.'' Tekhar waved dismissively. ''We don''t bestir ourself in great numbers for...anything. Survival aside, of course.''
''About that - surely your prosperity has drawn pirates, or conquerors, or simply beasts of the tides? This is a rich stretch of sea, in people and fish both.'' Surely Tekhar''s folk were not as soft as they seemed? Simply finding this place must''ve been the result of outrageous luck; if it had never been attacked, he''d call their bluff.
Just to be sure. He''d seen stranger things than an utterly peaceful place. Perhaps he''d only managed to make his way here thanks to Ib picking it as his destination? And the Burst, too; it could find its way on the sea better than most folk of flesh and blood. He supposed it came with being a ship.
''Oh, yes,'' Tekhar replied. ''Outsiders might come, once a generation and less often in some ages. Pirates, traders who think themselves sly, seeking to swindle us.''
Mharra stared intently, silently urging him to go on. Tekhar slouched slightly looking uncomfortable. ''They are turned away, as quickly as we can dissuade them.''
''Are they, now? What of the more stubborn ones?''
Mharra did not like the silence that followed. Eventually, he cleared his throat. ''That is all very well, but you can''t talk a Seaworm or a Bloodtrail into going away.'' The vitae-dripping snails had teeth larger than most mountains, though they appeared as needles by comparison to their slimy maws. Their tempers were one of the few things fouler than their odor: Mharra had never heard of people scaring one away rather than killing it, and if they could be tamed or trained, he didn''t know it.
Worse, while such creatures were drawn to rich feeding places, like any animal, they did not seem to strictly need sustenance, though they desired it almost as badly as violence.
Tekhar''s shrug was a match for his expression, which said he''d seen things he''d rather forget, if he could. ''You''d be surprised what things people wwill make pets of when they''re bored enough, sir.''
Mharra almost boggled at that. Did they have mages that could bend space? Because he was fairly sure none of their vessels was bigger than a Bloodtrail, much less large enough to fit one. And if one of those snails had been hiding underwater, he''d have picked up on its stench, or the steamer would''ve said something.
Talking about space... ''I have been wondering,'' he admitted, shoving his hands into his pockets (Tekhar, he noticed, was still - unconsciously? - trying to mimic him, though with no pockets, his hands went to his hips), ''with how freely you lot take your pleasures, are there never, ah, too many of you? For your fleet, I mean, and this place?'' Were those who crowded the place exiled? Mharra would''ve liked to say that seemed unlikely, but the pleasure fleet was sounding increasingly dubious.
''We look after our own, captain,'' Tekhar answered. ''I can assure, our home is large enough to accommodate all our kin, no matter how many share that kinship. We have our arts.''
Not magic? There were abilities that could accomplish what it did without needing mana; or maybe what Mharra knew as magic was not known as such, here. He''d seen weirder, like those people who called doorknobs frogs, even though none Mharra had been able to see resembled one.
''Tekhar,'' Mharra started, half-serious, ''would you lambast me for my lack of faith in my fellow man if I implied that, perhaps, the things you folks do to those who attack you are not something you talk about in front of strangers?''
''Cynicism is not unhealthy, captain.''
That sounded about as far as he''d get with this line of discussion. Oh, well. Not like he was losing anything but the chance to satisfy his curiosity. ''Indeed. Now, since you''ve indulged me, I''m even more willing to listen to your plight than I was at the beginning.''
There was some rustling from the boy''s pack at that, which somewhat reminded Mharra of those people whose stomachs rumbled when they were nervous. Refusing to snigger, he waited for Tekhar to finish adjusting it. Perhaps the slime was responding to its friend''s mood.
''Among my people,'' the lad began, zipping the pack closed after a quick peek inside, likely to see how Verdant was doing. ''I am considered somewhat prudish.''
Mharra could imagine the irritation. Some youths had a certain unaware cruelty at that age between childhood and adulthood, which could stay in a boy''s mind as easily as any adult''s lectures. Perhaps more easily, if Tekhar was the rebellious sort more likely to listen to his friends than his caretakers, whoever those were.
Hmm. Did growing up parentless make one more easily to be mulish?
''I once walked in on a group of, um, close friends, several of whom I I knew.'' Tekhar frowned, then went on. ''I reacted quite unexpectedly - didn''t join in - and have been the recipient of several tasteless jokes since, not to mention a few pranks. Even got a poem once,'' he muttered. ''Some people think they''re way smarter than they are...''
''That, in my experience, holds true for the majority of living beings,'' Mharra said with a sympathetic smile. ''So you''re being, what, shamed? Shunned?''
Tekhar wiggled a hand. ''It''s nothing ritualic, sir. Just childish idiots with too much time on their hands.''
''A species as persistent as it is widespread.''
Tekhar chuckled. ''Aye. But I try to brush them off.'' He looked Mharra in the eye, and said earnestly, ''Now you know why I''m chomping at the bit. So can we get on with it, sir?''
Shelving away that saying (they had horses here? Ryzhan might be interested to learn, and if Mharra could help his studious friend, he might as well), the captain replied, ''You know what? I think I''ve found something for both you and your shapeshifting friend to do.'' Turning, he took a step, and the steamer removed the silent room, drawing it back into its greater mass. ''About time,'' he said, to both the ship and Tekhar. ''A minute longer, your folk might''ve started making up fantasies about whatever nefarious thing you and I were getting up to.''Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.
Tekhar scoffed. ''Might just help me save face, captain. Mind if I make a story of it?''
''Storms - you can do it during the show. Let me suggest a few moments...''
* * *
Mharra couldn''t recall if Ib had left anything of itself, a piece of its body or some marvellous creation, behind, not with this hangover. He stumbled down the hall to his cabin, with the Burst adjusting itself so its captain wouldn''t end up eating floor, before finally coming to a stop against the door. His head pounded as if it was being struck with hammers from the inside, and his legs felt like both lead and water.
Grumbling something he didn''t understand himself, he placed one hand on the wheel that served as a doorhandle; one of Three''s affectations, which had first appeared on the engine room''s door before he and his ghost replicated it across the ship. The ship took the hint, not that Mharra was sure what hint he''d given, and opened the door, before bearing him to his bed.
Once bolted so it wouldn''t sway with the tides or the steamer''s moods, back when it hadn''t really been in control of its wits, it was now fused with the floor at the legs. Mharra thought that had something with how the bed could warm up or cool down depending on how he was feeling, a mechanism he hoped was automatic. He didn''t much care for being watched in his sleep by anyone other than Three.
Mharra lay on his back, gingerly pressing his hands to his temples - despite the temptation to throw an arm over his eyes and get rid of the little light in the room, he knew, from experience, that doing so would only worsen his headache.
''Burst,'' he began, holding back a yawn. Those tended to be tricky after drinks; far too likely to result in retching, and the steamer would kvetch if it had to clean up after him. It already grumbled about having to take care of waste, and had (jokingly?) suggested that maybe Mharra could do with some mechanical modifications so that he''d no longer have to worry about that.
Which sounded an awful lot like dismembering yourself so so your limbs wouldn''t ache anymore, and Mharra wasn''t hungover enough to go for that kind of back alley doctor offer. He needed something to cleanse his body, not get rid of it. Or parts of it.
Mharra suspected that, like many regenerators he''d met, his ship didn''t truly grasp the consequences of losing parts of oneself. Permanently, that was.
''Burst,'' Mharra said again, surprised he wasn''t slurring. ''What the...what in the tides did those people give me?'' He ran a hand through his long, dark hair, pressing fingertips against his throbbing skull. ''How am I talking like this? I feel drunk. Almost so.''
The steamer sniffed. ''Do you wish to speak to me as I am, or should I make a puppet you can stare at while I talk?''
Mharra stared at the ceiling, confused at the hostility in his ship''s tone. Was it so offended by him refusing mechanisation? ''Do as you wish...did I do something I shouldn''t have?'' He only remembered snatches of the show, then a revelry that had lasted all night and and the next day, before he''d somehow made it back onto his ship.
The Burst responded by moulding a roughly humanoid shape out of the floor. Tall, broad and featureless, it reminded Mharra of a smaller, dark brown Ib, though it only had two arms and legs. The creature perched on the edge of the bed, sitting as it ready to stand up and run at any time. Suddenly, Mharra wished he wasn''t so dizzy, and not just because it made him feel stupid.
''You refused,'' it began, holding up a fingerless hand when Mharra tried to say he just wasn''t interested in trading flesh for clockwork, ''all of my offers to ram their pleasure boats and sink them.''
Mharra sighed, closing his eyes. Perversely, his hearing sharpened as if to compensate: the tides lapping against the sides of the steamer sounded like someone was ringing a giant bell with a sledgehammer. ''Why would you want to do that?''
Mharra didn''t know if he''d briefly lost consciousness or if the ship''s avatar was just that fast, but it was suddenly standing at his bedside, its gaze burning into him as it loomed, for all it was eyeless. ''Why do you think, sir?'' it asked in a voice softer than any Mharra had ever heard from it. For a moment, he thought it was doing so for his comfort, and almost burst out laughing.
The construct crouched down, enough that it would''ve been face to face with Mharra if he''d been standing. ''Why wouldn''t it? I''m not a cargo ship, nor a warship. I''m not meant to haul things or sink other vessels, though I''ll take to both with aplomb, if need be.'' It took a knee, arms crossed over it. ''I''m a passenger vessel. I take people wherever we agree to go. And then they go and addle my captain? The only companion I''ve left, until whenever the others return?''
Though it had nothing to hide, the ship''s avatar looked aside, broad shoulders slumping. ''You think it was entertaining hearing you babble and stumble all the way here? Unable to think straight or speak to me?'' It shook its great head, somehow, though it neck didn''t seem to move. ''I''ve never felt so empty with someone aboard me.''
Mharra winced, not entirely due to his headache. ''I...I am sorry, Burst. As soon as I clear my head, we''ll talk about ev-''
''Never mind that.'' It straightened up. ''Sir. You''ve pulled me out of the scrapheap I was sure was going to become my grave.'' Its laugh, though self-deprecating, was nasty, menacing. ''Not that I was sure of much back then, object that I was. You lot dragged me into personhood, for better or worse.''
''The island-''
''Hush, captain,'' it hissed, then started. Still mindful of his hearing? ''Hush. Grown folk ought not not brood over their cradles, even if they were almost smothered in them, hm?''
''As you say,'' Mharra gravelled. He was too close to remembering his family, and that would certainly turn his stomach. ''So. You say you almost killed on my behalf?'' He flashed his best smirk. ''I didn''t know you care so much.''
The steamer snorted. ''Don''t be stupid. You fleshlings will drink anything that''s not poisoned, and even then...I''d have never put addling coals in me, back when I ran on coal, but what do I know? I''m just a means to travel.'' It looked at the wall as if it could see through it - which it very well might''ve been able to, Mharra thought. It was part of it, and the Burst could turn anything of its substance into shield or weapon or sensory device, or whatever else it fancied.
When it spoke again, Mharra felt its eyes on him, though it had none and was facing away from him besides. The part of him that loved absurdity imagined metallic eyes literally on him, following his movements, and he giggled (nervously?). The steamer did not comment.
''I have begun to realise, captain, that I''m like one of those story boats, sailing ceaselessly, taking its crew to their destination regardless of the state of its fuel or components - or a lack thereof.'' A certain wryness entered its tone then, alongside - were his ears deceiving him? - trepidation. ''Good thing I''ve discovered how to move myself, or you''d have been out of luck quite a while ago, sir. Though I cannot help but wonder where I''m going to end up taking you.''
Mharra did not deign respond to the last part; his gut, though currently churning, told him that would cheer up neither of them. Instead, he said, ''You mean I''d have been unable to sail, were you a mundane vessel.''
The steamer''s puppet nodded. ''Were I a lifeless boat, you''d never have got anywhere with a crew this small.'' It grinned then, a jagged thing, like someone had taken a heavy, blunt blade to its head. ''Well. Not without the mage enchanting me to go on, or the giant pushing me, or the ghost possessing me...were he still around.''
Mharra gestured rudely, to go with his mumbling, which made the ship roar with laughter. At least his hearing had recovered enough he only wanted it to shut up out of annoyance. ''Lucky us that you are not, then.''
''Lucky you,'' the ship agreed, mockingly, though it was not long until it became sober once more. ''Mharra. I know your body calls for you to sleep - a fitting punishment for spurning my gifts of fortitude -, but, if you can endure a few moments more, I would tell you of what you''ve forgotten.''
''Been made to forget?'' Mharra suggested instead, expecting the growl that answered him.
''I could still turn around and sink them while you rest.''
''Would they made a battle of it?''
''Almost certainly.''
Mharra turned on his side. ''Then no. There are good ways to die in your sleep, but I''m too lonely for any.''
He belatedly realised how he sounded, but if the ship was offended he''d spoken of it as if it wasn''t there, it said nothing. If anything, it seemed just as sad as him, seated as it was on the edge of the bed: chin resting on a fist, like the statue of a man in mournful repose.
''I miss him too, sir,'' the Rainbow Burst said, knowing it needed not elaborate. ''But wailing and the gnashing of teeth will bring nothing. Cutting a path across the seas just might...'' For an instant, Mharra glimpsed things inside the construct, caged fires and shackled lightning, as if it were made of clear glass. The powers the ship fed on in microcosm? ''And that is my purpose.''
Mharra wished he did not sound resentful when he replied. He''d rarely had his wishes fulfilled. ''It''s good to have a purpose you can achieve, my friend.''
A large, rough hand landed on his knee, cold through his trousers, though Mharra would''ve sworn he truly had seen fires inside this thing. ''Are you jealous of me, captain?'' It was, Mharra thought, trying to sound amused as it continued, ''I''d make a jape about wanting people inside you, but I doubt you''re in the mood.''
Air hissed through Mharra''s clenched teeth as he tried to sat up; one hand had brushed a leg, leaving him feeling like the limb had been bludgeoned. What was with this sensitivity? The pleasure fleet must''ve had strange tastes in liquors: most were supposed to numb your senses, not sharpen them.
Liquor. Or poison? But what, besides his ravishing good looks, could trigger a murder attempt? ''Get on with it, then,'' he told the ship. ''Before I bump against the headboard and faint.''
''I think not, captain.''
''Oh? You have great faith in my endurance...''
''None at all, meatbag.'' The construct''s voice was just as falsely cheerful as Mharra''s. ''That isn''t what I was speaking of. You don''t get to sidestep this?''
''This?''
''The lack of purpose,'' the ship clarified. ''You''re all abut whining about it.''
''What would that achieve?'' Mharra shrugged, uncomfortable, and only in part due to his aching body. ''I give orders...well, they''re more like suggestions, nowadays. Not like I could force anyone in this crew to do something. I don''t steer you, for you need no helmsman. I''m becoming a figurehead, Burst, and fast.'' He cracked a lopsided smirk. ''You might as well put me on your-''
''Pah,'' the steamer spat, before proceeding to literally do so. Something dark and steaming began eating into the floor by the bed. Mharra wanted to know how the (once again) mouthless thing had done that even less than he wanted to learn what the tarlike stuff was. ''Do you know how many captains wish they could live like you? Hm? Many of them, with crews larger than some islands'' populations, can still only delegate so much, for there are things that cannot be done while resting on one''s laurels.''
Mharra''s smile was more genuine now. ''So, in other words...''
''In other words, I''m telling you to stop whining.''
''Good thing I haven''t started.''
''Pah!'' No spitting accompanied the exclamation this time, and the result of the first expectoration seemed to have vanished. Certainly there was no more smoke, nor was the air oily any more. Mharra''s idle curiosity faded, however, when the embodiment of the ship returned his grin, features shifting once more. ''But let us not trouble ourselves with that. Sir, you cut the show short - I''d judge - halfway through, when the jeering got on your nerves enough you started talking back. Not for long, though; you had to stop Tekhar from taking a swim and getting to the people booing him, and then cooler heads decided to invite you to a banquet to let tempers cool. Or so it seemed.''
Mharra licked his lips, but, if any of the poison (?) the pleasure fleet had slipped into his drink remained, it was as tasteless as the attempt it had been involved in. Really, were they so touchy they''d erase the memory of him talking back to them? ''I had to stop it in the middle, eh?''
''Of course you didn''t have to,'' the ship snapped. ''You could''ve kept going, and I''d have sunk the hecklers, if they tried to get rowdy.'' It held up a bladed finger, which felt more like having a knife waved in front of his face than a finger wagged at him, to Mharra. ''But you kept indulging the milksops. Damn it, man, you know I can make anything you could want to gorge yourself on.''
''It was a matter of decorum, I''m sure.'' Mharra rolled a shoulder that felt almost loose, but oddly slow to move even so. ''Besides, you hate anything not do to with travelling.''
''I hate them more!''
Mharra held up his hands. ''As you say. But you don''t like playing cook - why would you, when you could just persuade me to shed this flesh? Storms, you barely like playing warship, for all this bloodthirsty bluster.''
The avatar stood up straighter, posture defensive. ''Bloodbaths make for gentle tides, but I can float and fight at the same time. And if it were up to me, I''d pick the first. Unless violence was the only way to preserve my passengers, of course.''
''Obviously. Was that first part a quote?''
''Remember I coined it, if you use it.'' The thing rested its elbows (or the spots where they would''ve been on a human, for it had no joints Mharra could see) on its knees, one hand raised, palm upwards. ''Can you blame me, sir? For the outrage you call bloodthirst. If you were lost, I''m sure that giant of yours would say something awfully profound and mournful about the unity of the crew, then leave, and I doubt the mage would stick around, either. It would take me long to find a new proper crew, and I''ve even grown fond of you lot.''
At least it was honest. ''My heart is pattering, Burst. But you still haven''t told me what happened.''
It did, then. Mharra did his best to filter out the curses - once the ship started repeating itself in that regard - and the dubious mechanical noises that emanated from the creature. It said something about how dog-tired he was, he thought, that even this almost felt like a lullaby.
Hours after the construct finished its story and left, though, Mharra was still awake, staring at a ceiling he could only dimly glimpse. When sleep did come to him, it was dreamless - as it had been on most of his worst nights.
''Are you sure, captain? We could go back,'' the steamer said at the end, after several variations of this request scattered amidst the story, ''and wipe them off Midworld''s face.'' Its shoulders bulged, not with tension, but actually seeming to grow in size. ''They poisoned you, sir! Or as good as! You''re willing to let them get away with this? If I hadn''t turned my attention solely to making sure you were well, I would have-''
''If I can''t see a trap this obvious,'' Mharra cut it off, ''and I can''t act well enough to win hearts, and I can barely do something resembling a real captain''s duty...'' Something between a sob and a hiccup escaped his lips, ''what good am I? What good am I, Burst?''
Mharra heard the steamer''s retorts, but as if from a great distance, and barely listened. Minutes after the ship''s mouthpiece had fallen silent, Mharra managed to sit up, using his shaky elbows, and said, ''Damn this all. I''m not going to send you after all of them, to send the children and the unknowing to a watery grave alongside the snakes who orchestrated this. However,'' he added, sharply, when the construct looked ready to protest, ''I want you to keep an eye out for trackers, if they''ve sent any. Should any vessel of the pleasure fleet approach us without responding to our hails, you have permission to make Seaworm food of them.''
The avatar all but leap with joy, with how quickly it got back to its feet, rushing to shake Mharra''s hand and assure him it would look into more thorough cures if he didn''t manage to sleep the remaining effects off. ''Enough, now,'' Mharra said tiredly, pulling his hand back. ''I must be doing something right if you and the other to are willing to listen to me...or indulge me, whichever.''
''You''re just that endearing, sir,'' the steamer replied coyly.
Mharra almost laughed, then, and told it goodnight, and waved it away, before he remained alone with his thoughts.
But that was then, after the ship''s story. The story that Mharra held in his mind until he fell asleep, too exhausted to sulk anymore, the story that came to the forefront of his thoughts when he awoke.
When it did, more clearly than when he''d first heard it, the captain could not help but smile. He had done one good thing, if nothing else.
* * *
Verdant''s shapeshifting had produced a fascinating effect as it imitated Three. Upon reaching the reenactment of Mharra''s first meeting with his ghost - back when Three had been willing to possess people so they could have an excuse for their debauchery -, things had become a little tricky to stage. Obviously, the way he''d trapped the ghost in his body, through an application of his talents he still wasn''t sure he could replicate, was not something that could be translated to a show.
So, Mharra had improvised, bending the truth as the best artists did. Verdant-as-Three had been trapped in a circle of salt, its "selves" moving back together to create something that looked like a man trapped inside a glass mannequin, itself trapped in a larger one. The three-layered thing, pale and appearing to float on colourless, nigh-invisible "stilts" of the protoplasm that made up the slime, glared heatedly at Mharra, one hand clutching its abdomen, the other clawing at air at the circle''s edge.
There was some merit to the legend, Mharra knew: the cleansing properties of salt lent it a certain metaphysical weight that made it useful in thaumaturgy. However, unless enforced by someone with unnatural powers, a salt circle could only hold the weakest ghosts and similar species. Mharra hadn''t deigned to use his powers for this, though, for there was nothing dangerous to trap, and thus no reason. Besides, for all he knew, slimes might be susceptible to salt if they counted as "unclean" enough, and he didn''t want to accidentally seal Tekhar''s pet.
The boy, who had taken to his role as narrator and commentator with only a little hesitation - less shyness, Mharra thought, and more the unpleasant state of mind being watched by those he disliked - paused as the public began commenting in his stead, arm frozen halfway to his chest in a sweeping gesture. Lamely, he let it fall, blushing slightly.
Mharra knew from experience that, at this age, crying and reddened faces could mean anger as easily as anything else. Not for the first time, he was glad for the water between the audience and the stage his ship had become.
Not that a need to swim deterred truly determined people - but Mharra felt better with this gap.
''Once again, virtue triumphs over vice!'' a voice came from the crowd, one of the self-appointed commentators, and the ice broke.
''Therein can be seen the hidebound nature of outsiders.'' There was more pity in the voice than sneering arrogance, but the it made scarce difference. ''If they offered more, people would not be desperate enough to go for such...alternatives-''
''Ah, but you forget!'' a third person interjected, with all the confidence of a town square intellectual. ''Many outsiders lack the resources to indulge their desires, time being one such resource...''
''And will, too?'' the second retorted. ''Maybe if they spent less time squabbling with each other over scraps, they could bend their forces to bringing prosperity.''
Mharra absently placed a hand on Tekhar''s chest, to prevent an outburst, and decided that while he wouldn''t take the time to single out these philosophical spectators, he wasn''t going to have his show turned into some public discussion. That was for afterwards, and he was not inclined to stay much. Clearing his throat, he signalled for the ship to amplify his voice. ''That is all well and good, my friends, but perhaps we might-''
''You should''ve ended the ghost there! That enabler of monsters!'' A new voice, that, and the tone put Mharra in mind of wagging fingers. ''Or perhaps you were already taken with lust for him?''
''Woe!'' another cried out. ''For the passions of the flesh to overcome the clarity of the mind, and push one''s hand to-''
He was beginning to understand why Tekhar mostly stayed away from these people. Tuning them out, he told himself that these people were too spoiled, too isolated - to the point of ignorance, and willing naivety - to understand that Midworld was not a kind place. Mharra had let cultures die when he had seen they were too stubborn to save themselves, or unwilling to, and he judged this a similar case.
Even if he got into an argument, he doubted he would change the pleasure fleet''s mindset overnight, not that he was sure he even wanted to. Ib had wanted him here so he would learn something, he knew, but what? The giant was, Mharra suspected, incapable of not being secretive, and probably though the best way to teach swimming was to chain people to a lake''s bottom so they''d be driven to succeed.
His friend''s cryptic nonsense aside, Mharra was disappointed. He knew he should''ve outgrown such things, but meeting a culture that did not instantly react with suspicion, and truly did not appear to want to cheat or exploit him, had almost driven him to hope that...
It did not matter, anymore. He''d seen the face of the pleasure fleet, beneath their smiling mask. A part of him argued that many Midworlders, more jaded than these folk, would''ve thought the same of Three, and that he was being irrational because his ghost was involved. He could not deny it, but he could not let these fops judge as they wished. Everything the boy had implied...
There were some chuckles, some approving murmurs, when he got to the meeting with Ryzhan, and the bonds that grew between the mage and the rest of the crew. But soon enough, he reached the retelling of their encounter with the Free Fleet, and that damned experiment, and...
"Good riddance", and things close to it, had been uttered by some. Others had said, shrilly, that Three being "spread over" everything meant there was no one and nothing Mharra couldn''t take without being close to his lover. If not for their hungry expressions, he''d have thought it a crass joke. Others still hung their heads or placed them in their hands, fat tears running down their cheeks, their wails filling the air as if Three had been as close to them as he was to Mharra. In other circumstances, the captain might''ve thought the ragged moans theatrical, but these people often wore their heart on their sleeve.
''You be quiet!'' Tekhar, who''d got free of Mharra''s hold at some point, shouted. His face was flushed, and not with embarrassment, for once, in the face of all his people, or as good as. ''You all be quiet! What do you know of love!''
At the edge of the stage, where Verdant had moved after mimicking Three''s disappearance - Mharra hadn''t known slimes could control where their fragments flew when they blew apart, but he supposed it shouldn''t have surprised him: they could burst at will, and their bodies did not get ripped apart as much as spread out, while effectively remaining whole -, the Slime, still in the shape of Mharra''s ghost, crouched in the shadows, warily watching its friend. It had the sort of look dogs sported when their owners were sad beyond their ability to fix, which was uncanny on its currently humanlike face.
''I''ve heard half you lot say romance is a distraction from joy - what, because growing close to one person might leave you less inclined to sleep around? And yet you''re talking like you knew anythi-''
That was when the show degenerated into one big shouting match. The part of Mharra that always looked for silver linings argued this was a blessing in disguise: he''d been unsure whether he wanted to speak about what had happened after Three''s disappearance, even if it would''ve compounded the charm they''d sought in the story.
Many of the pleasure fleet''s folk denied Tekhar''s words, loudly, while among the rest, responses varied from "And why are you lumping in us with the rest of them!?" to coarse laughter, unheeding of the others'' opinions. When those from the second category began picking up things to throw, Mharra stepped in front of Tekhar, gently but firmly pushing the boy behind him. A twitch of a finger, in the direction of the crowd''s rowdy part, was all it took for the steamer to understand. The back of the stage shifted, curtains becoming the rear of a wall, thick but perfectly transparent, that rose to surround Mharra and his assistants.
''Mayhap we ought to take a break and let tempers cool, everyone,'' Mharra suggested with forced cheer, voice enhanced once more
* * *
The feast where he''d been addled was still a blur of jumbled images and sensations, wich he could only remember in order thanks to the steamer''s help. But he did recall being invited to sit at the head of a table, and walking there on a ramp spun from his steamer''s metal. Initially, the pleasure fleet had wanted him to make his way over on the bodies of many of the shows'' spectators. Following a wagger whose details Mharra was frankly uninterested in, if this was the result, he''d refused to set foot on the floating pile of people, even as they entreated with him and promised him there was no issue in using them as stepping stones.
If this was the games the pleasure fleet played with its own people, he did not want to know what they did to their enemies. Tekhar''s claims, which hadn''t sounded too farfetched, now seemed downright likely.
Which was why Mharra felt no small amount of joy, then relief, when, shortly after the end of the feast, Tekhar approached him, Verdant enclosing his body protectively, like a living, clear cloak, and told him he was leaving.
''You inspired me, sir,'' the lad confessed. ''Emboldened me. Until you came, I will admit I did not know how much there was beyond our realm. I''d seen a few outsiders, from a distance, when I was little, but all too many of them were easily driven off, if hostile, or browbeaten into joining our fleet.'' There was distaste in Tekhar''s eyes, but also a certain wariness, as if anyone might be listening in on them. Mharra, despite being fairly unsteady on his feet, was convinced that was impossible: he''d used his gifts to create a small zone of silence, a skill he usually tapped into before miming something in a show. The ability only needed to be turned on, and so required no concentration, which the captain had little of to spare.
''But you did neither,'' Tekhar continued, before leaning closer and whispering, ''Though they got to you, captain.''
Mharra, irritated by the implication, but truly as uncomprehending of the boy''s words as he was of his ship''s growls, ground out, ''Captain? Ye''d best not be hopin'' to ''itch...hitch a ride on my-'' he hiccupped, then slapped his chest several times, as if to scare it out.
''Don''t worry about that, Mharra,'' Tekhar replied smoothly. Then, in that low voice again, ''I am afraid do not have a cure for your, um, affliction, sir, not that I could give it to you without someone seeing...so take care from now on, will you? Not every friendly face smiles out of kindness.''
Mharra rolled his eyes at that, which set his head spinning. By the time he made it to his hands and knees, still dizzy, Tekhar had departed, almost out of sight, his slime having assumed the shape and function of a boat.
It was a long journey back to his steamer, in duration if not distance. The nagging didn''t help.
''I''ve never seen you this sloppy, captain! I was giving you hints for the whole damned meal, where was your head?''
''If you sayin'' there''s a problem, why didn''t ya take care of it right then, eh? Eh?'' he challenged.
The steamer huffed. ''Do you even know how many weapons those flowery bastards have got hidden in their toy boats? And how many baffles, to prevent one from checking on them? By the time I ascertained I could beat them without my form or surroundings being destroyed, you were already drunk! Or...no. Worse, aren''t you?'' Its voice became pensive, though anger did not leave it. ''I''ve never seen such a drug, but I should be able to create a cure, after enough observation. I-''
''Can do it while I get some shuteye, can''t ya? I think if I go to sleep now, I''m not wakin'' up.'' The end of the sentence was almost sobbed, and Mharra stumbled, not dazed, but surprised at himself.
''Sir...'' the steamer sounded unpleasantly surprised. ''Don''t tell me you''ve let your guard down because...Mharra, you can''t listen to such impulses just because you feel bad for yourself! You might''ve died!''
Mharra sniggered darkly. ''I can''t? Can''t even listen to impulses now? That useless, am I? H-Ha...''
After that, the Rainbow Burst told him, he''d become partly catatonic, in the sense that he still moved, but barely reacted to outside stimuli, be they his surroundings or his ship''s words. It took a while before his awareness returned, and he began responding to the steamer once more.
* * *
Mharra leaned his elbows on the railing, hair in the wind, as he watched a dot on the horizon that might''ve been Tekhar. The lad likely knew little of Midworld, and his slime, for all its endurance and instincts, hadn''t faced the sorts of dangers that lurked in and above the endless sea. Aye, he had a strong will, and a skepticism that would keep him from getting too close to dangerous sorts, literally or figuratively, but he was green.
The captain had never fancied himself a hero, and of the people he''d met, he''d have said only a handful were. But, while he didn;t have it in him to mother the boy, and hold him back, and tell him the risks and dangers were too great - for Tekhar had said he didn''t want to sail with Mharra, and the captain himself had sailed out, alone, into a world no less dangerous, -, that didn''t mean he couldn''t, or wouldn''t, do anything to help.
So it was that Mharra compiled a list of the threats most likely to surface, literally in some cases, in this area of Midworld. Once folded and placed in an envelope, Mharra placed it inside a sort of covered boat, a creation and part of the steamer, which, the ship assured him, could track down the boy and deliver the letter.
The response arrived when it was still dark, but well after Mharra had awoken, though no serious duty called him. Captains who slept in rarely lived long, and those who did were often unpopular with their crews. In Mharra''s case, his fleshly failings were likely to get him an earful from his living vessel.
The boat returned tugging a pale sphere about the height of a man. Covered in bruises and rents that leaked nothing, for it had been dried inside and out at the same time it had been crushed into this shape, one broken fang, long but only a fraction of the Seaworm''s tooth it had been part of shone in the light of dawn. Hanging from it was Mharra''s letter, the back showing rough but readable words. Whether the pleasure fleet was not so isolated that its script was unlike that Mharra used, or Tekhar had picked this one up so fast, it gave him some peace of mind. The boy would manage. Indeed, in reference to the threats Mharra had listed, his reply read:
''Thank you, Mharra.
But they should beware of us.''
Next to Tekhar''s signature was a slimy stain that matched the looks of the creature that had left it, down to Verdant''s eyes; next to it, a circle made from the extracted fluids of the butchered Seaworm. Looking down at the letter, remembering the reckless bravery of his own boyhood, Mharra met the sun with a smile.
* * *
''Do you understand it, now?'' The moral of this captain''s tale?''
Aina gave Mendax an ugly look, though her disgust was not directed at him. ''That the nicer they seem, the more likely it is that people are bastards?''
''Now, why would I try to hint something so obvious?'' The eldritch being laughed, light bending around him as he did so. He became somber once more in short order, however. ''Aina...you''re the last person I need to tell that you can do everything right, and act kindly towards everyone, and still fail. That''s just life, for most of us.'' He held out a hand. ''But for those who try to reach above their fellows, to reverse what looks like the course of fate...well.'' He shook his head. ''You can pour your heart and soul into such an endeavour, and still not achieve your goal. Or you might, and find it less worthy than you wished, stained by your actions. Trust me - as certain and implacable something might look, it can come to naught in a heartbeat.''
Aina ran fingers down her neck to her chest, where slime and chest had begun to manifest. Her monster appeared like rashes did on people, sometimes. ''And should he fail in his quest? Will he find a purpose for himself, then? Find joy again?''
''If there is any to be found, by anyone,'' Mendax replied, ''it is all too often hard to find, and tinged with pain besides. More bitter than sweet.'' Unexpectedly, a smile twisted the Meddler''s features. ''But the sweetness is there, Aina. Flaws do not hide beauty, save from those who blind themselves - and to those who know where to look, they only brighten it.''
Interlude: Midworld, A Stage (Three)
There were no tides to be seen, and the water was as clear as the best glass underneath the cross-legged Ib. The grey giant''s lower hands grasped the spots where there would''ve been knees, on a man, while its middle ones were clasped in its lap. It had put its upper ones together, was resting its chin on them, when Ashe appeared.
The Ashen Isle was just a dark streak on the horizon, from this distance, and there was nothing to see in the opposite direction but ocean.
For humans, that was.
Even without focusing on the Island of Ash, Ib could sense the order that suffused it, the worshipful passion of its denizens. It could sense their anger, too, as was only proper.
It was, after all, the cause and focus of said anger, and Ib had come to believe facing one''s past was better than not doing so.
Ashe is wearing a form between her draconic shape and her human self. The scaled woman puts a clawed hand on Ib''s broad shoulder, her skin a darker grey than the metallic hue of the colossus'' outer layer.
''You did not do anything wrong,'' she assures it, as a beginning.
''Did I not?'' it asks, tilts its head in consideration. The gesture feels sarcastic to Ashe, genuine as it might be. ''Perhaps. Perhaps you do not think I did. As their owner, I''m sure you can convince them I am innocent.''
The dragon goddess takes an exasperated breath, almost pulls her hand away. She remains, however, in the end. Ib thinks there is something to be said there, about the relationship between the concepts they stand for.
Her lips, Ib reflects, are exactly like those of the women Ryzhan has mentioned to have enjoyed kissing. Ib thinks their fullness goes well with the fangs behind them, though, despite Ashe''s advances, it is no more attracted to her than it would be to a flower.
But it is almost tempted to explore.
Why not, after all? It, Ib tells itself, is the embodiment of freedom, and why should freedom be so mechanical in manner, so bereft of passion? It should be able to pursue whatever it wishes, joyfully.
But why should it be held down by lust and desires, another part of it argues, like so many beings of flesh shackled by their reproductive urges? Why should it limit itself so, instead of focusing on greater goals?
(The second part, Ib thinks, does not quite sound afraid. But it certainly seems defensive. The whole of its being is amused at its denials, and at the argument with the other corner of its mind.)
Ib almost makes fists at the ridiculousness. It must look forward to preparing creation entire for its trials, not faff about. And if it did decide to indulge some newfound desires, Ashe would definitely not be its first option.
Would she?
''My faithful are not puppets,'' Ashe replies, ''and you know it. Their opinions are their own, for all I am driven to reward or reprimand in response to them. So why do you seek to aggravate me, still?''
''If you think I''m riling you up, why are you falling for it?'' Ib asks placidly. Then, more seriously, ''Do not mistake my vexation for genuine anger. I like to think I am not a petty sort.''
''Meaning they are too small for you to concern yourself with.''
Ib opens a hand. ''If you say so.''
Ashe huffs as she leans forward, to wrap her forelimbs around Ib''s neck and rest her chin atop its head. Ib pointedly says nothing about the warm softness against its back.
Ashe hums. ''One could say proper structure can only rise atop a foundation of liberty.''
''Are you using me as a prop for your philosophising?'' Ib asks mildly. It is sure she could find many other uses for it, and gladly would if allowed. Her stated intentions aside, its power, if properly harnessed by another, could do most anything.
She shrugs. ''You''re here, aren''t you?'' Gracefully stepping away, she slaps its broad back. Ib thinks that thing about structure only rising atop libert has less to do with societies and...no. It has equally to do with it and the position Ashe would prefer. Likely literally as well.
Ib half-turns its head, gaze trailing up her swishing tail to the fraction of her face visible from this angle. The bulk of its attention is focused on her truer, subtler self: Ashe is practically one with her counterparts from the higher layers of existence, including the Idea of herself.
She is thoughtful. The dragon, Ib thinks, does not quite know what to do with it. In this, too, they differ, for Ib knows its purpose, is driven by it like humans are to breathe.
''You are not wrong to be upset,'' she says, after a time. ''Vexed, as you said.'' She turns, and there is something of self-mockery in her gaze, her smirk. ''It must be frustrating to try and do good by others, only to have your hand slapped away.''
''I think we can agree on that.''
''Libertas...''
The shake of Ib''s head is firm, the movement more curt than it would like; but it is denying that name as well, not just what Ashe was about to say.
It cannot deny the name given upon its creation any more than one can deny their parentage. Oh, yes, people say their parents are no longer theirs, after they wrong them, but that is, the giant thinks, a reaction born of the certainty that family should be well-meaning, kindly. A callous sort might call it entitlement.
None of that means Ib is about to acknowledge the Free Fleet in any way, however. Just as the soulful strigoi who is the unfortunate yet blessed target of Mendax''s attentions denies any hold of his blood-father over him, Ib denies any influence of its material form''s creators.
''Not Libertas,'' it says. ''Never that. I am Ib - the best part of myself.''
The part that is working to ensure everyone''s freedom, rather than obsessing over maintaining its own. There is no arrogance at play when Ib thinks nothing will ever trammel it: the only event that could result in it being unable to do as it wishes would be the end of all things.
''Ib, then. You-''
Bluish grey light flows from Ib''s featureless face, as if projected by some inner mechanism. In truth, only its will is acting here: it could, just as easily, use the sea itself as a medium.
''Let us examine what went wrong, shall we?'' Ib gestures at the moving images.
* * *
It had been going so well...
They had been happy.
So glad, to know joy that sprung from a well that was not of their goddess.
They had been moved, until the one responsible had overreached, and they had recoiled, in pain or fear or disgust, and hurled curses at it.
But this mover of their hearts remained unmoved. It took what they gave it, and contemplated, and understood, yet its purpose remained unchanged.
(Later, Ib would look back on this, and see it for the microcosm of a greater drama that it was.)
That did not stem the wave of dismay, as sharp as it was brief. Ib had greater things to keep in mind than the anger of some people who''d decided to be cattle.
Ib knew it was not good to think of them like that. But just because it wanted to liberate everyone did not mean it had to like those who''d jumped headfirst into bondage.
Looking back, it had really been overly optimistic to think speaking about casting off chains in the way it had would catch on.
Oh, the Ashen Islanders were all too eager to cast off anything preventing them from a closer communion with their goddess, such as love or the past. But that was trading some bindings for others, not liberation.
...And because it could see the bigger picture, it did not do to brood over the rejection of one group from one reality.
It only wished they wouldn''t blind themselves so.
It had started, Ib decided, when it began talking about its childhood (such as it had been) in a negative manner.
The grey being had chosen to keep its origins for the later part of the story. It had seemed appropriate, for it certainly did not think of them as its first memories: as far as Ib was concerned, it had been born when Mharra had fished its formless, barely-thinking self from the sea. That it had existed before that, like an infant in the womb, was pure coincidence.
Its Archetypal nature did not even enter the discussion. That was the bedrock of its being, like a man''s skeleton, perhaps, but Ib did not feel it owed the Ultimate Void anything more than its powers. It did not define the person it was, only what that person could do.
A skillset, then. Like others carved wood, it carved existence. Into shapes, not more pleasing, but better suited to their function.
Creation was a prison. Most couldn''t even see the walls of the cell, the bars at the door and window, and how could one conceive of escape when they did not even know it was needed?
In knowing, Ib had been both set free and burdened. It knew the Meddler was handling the lynchpin of the salvation: whenever an arbitrator of the cycle of life and death - LIFE and DEATH, rather, as they styled themselves - was removed, the Dream that was existence grew murky and disturbed. If a new arbiter, someone who could Keep DEATH, was not found, everything would eventually fall apart.
It had happened several times, already. The fourth such Keeper had recently - as much as anything could be recent, with the differing timestreams of the universes bound by time and the layers of creation that were timeless - stepped down from his role, and while the speed of the deterioration defied prediction of both the analytical and paranormal manner, Ib knew it would come.
Handling that was not it business, however. Not directly. The Meddler Midworlders called Mendax was preparing the would-be fifth Keeper and, from what the Idea of Freedom knew, it was a delicate process.
Not because the dead man was weak, strictly speaking, but because learning he was being prepared would have resulted in a mindset not at all compatible with Mendax''s goals. He had to be kept in the dark, tested, tempted, tempered. Until the time was right.
As for Ib? It knew that the end of creation could be averted through a proper cosmic realignment, but the cycle of Keepers had to be broken, and Mendax was unwilling to do so simply by picking someone who could bear that burden forever.
Its reasoning had been almost...sentimental, when they had spoken. The Meddler was by no means softhearted: it was, after all, the Idea of those who fought so everything could go on. The beings who had awakened to themselves, becoming one with their own Archetype, had all been fighters, for the sake of themselves and al they knew. They could not afford to let emotions get in the way of their decision, nor was regret desirable.
Indeed, the one often called Remaker had only wept once in pursuit of his duties, and that had been more of an outburst from a fraction of his being than the whole of him being regretful. It, Ib wagered, would''ve had to happen, sooner or later. The best part of the Meddler cared.
If it did not care, it would not have laid the plans it had. Ib had looked upon them with a sceptical eye. Everyone united in purpose? A breaking of the unseen cage through remembrance? It seemed so...fanciful.
But it had to try. If worst came to worst, the Remaker''s first plan would succeed, and a fifth Keeper would be instated. Stability would return. But if there was a chance of unity removing any chance of stability being threatened again, Ib would take it.
To accomplish that, Ryzhan - and many others, some like him, many different - would need to work in concert. The motives would matter less than their being united in purpose.
So, Ib had arranged matters so its crew, too, would be tested and tempted and tempered, in order to become the best versions of themselves. Three should''ve been there as well, but perhaps there was a silver lining to that. The ghost had been put through the wringer, and yet Ib knew Three would not give in so easily. His substance might''ve been scattered beyond the perception of most, his sense of self almost ruined, but the grey giant knew his friend would hold on, for as long as he could.
And if they did not save him in time, it was unlikely there would be anything left, anyway. The thought would''ve been relaxing, for a more grim sort.
* * *
''...you doing? There is nothing to be seen, there.''
Ib glances at Ashe, but she does not meet its eyeless gaze. Instead, she is looking at the distorted air. Pointing at it with a clawed finger, the dragoness adds, ''It''s like an untouched canvas. What am I supposed to take from this?''
The colourless blur is about that size, too. Appropriate...but also proof it brooded for too long. It should''ve replayed its memories with the sky as the background, before things got way from it.
''One could say that fits your cult,'' Ib says, more acidly than intended. Not that it''s going to take it back, now. ''Given how they are nothing without you, and hollow even so.''
Her eyeroll fits a human more than anything. ''Aye, aye. You''ve made your point already. But I think you were distracted, not going for a metaphor.''
''Is that so?''
''Yes. Because I caught an image before you started staring into space.''
One of the advantages that come with Ib''s featurelessness is that it''s very easy to give flat looks - or something like them. This one, Ashe returns with a small smile, not even showing fangs, but arching her brows.
''Believe that, if you will,'' the giant says. Then, ''As I was saying-''
''Well. Metaphorically.''
The substance of Ib''s face morphs into a scowl. ''You are not as funny as you think.''
* * *
Ib should''ve known they would approve of cultish behaviour. One would think the Ashen would be opposed to such, to any set of beliefs opposed to theirs; one look at how they were culled (there was no other word for it) would be enough to cement such an opinion.
But they hadn''t. It was, the grey being thought, because this was not really something that affected them. It was the tale of another, a being that was not and would never be interested in joining them (nor could it, except as a pretense, to serve another goal).
It was, in a word, entertainment. Not the sort of things to get up in arms about.
(Ib was familiar with cults for whom fun was serious business, both those who contemplated ecstasy and those who shunned it. Obviously, they disagreed about why it was serious business, but the Ashen were not so ascetic. Merely narrow-minded, focused on their goddess and her island, to the detriment of everything else.)
They''d liked the early parts of the story well enough. Mharra finding and guiding a being with no shape of memories until it became a valued crewmate appealed to their ideas of rebirth through finding a purpose. Ib agreed - it had been reborn, though it had felt like the beginning of its life, at the time. With nothing to remember, most of the time, it had been like a child with the body of a god.
But Mharra''s friendship had not borne the stain of coercion, or manipulation. Ib had stayed because it had wanted to: wanted to repay its captain, to find the truth about itself. Mharra could not have stopped it from leaving (though Ib had not understood the full breadth of its captain''s talents, at the time, and had thus been unsure of his prowess), but the giant had been convinced to stay by something stronger than force.
Friendship. A sense of belonging, of togetherness, that had filled the void left by its severed memories. Now, when it thought of such things, it felt close to some revelation. A shape it could sense but not glimpse, or understand. It had the key, it knew, but could not perceive the lock.
Togetherness. A solution, but to what? The loneliness of many? Not to disparage them, but such petty issues were beneath its purview.
"And this Mharra did not bid you stay?" an Ashen had asked, when Ib had stopped, to draw its metaphorical breath. "He did not order...?"
"He wouldn''t have dared," Ib answered with a grin. "But did not need to, in truth. I was...compelled to remain. Of my own choice," Of course, Mharra had not wanted a freeloader, especially one twice most people''s size. Ib, with its strength and protean nature, had made for a handy crewmember, and Mharra had known how to goad and cajole it, as needed, to get things done. Ib told the audience as much.
Sometimes, when the gap in its mind left it bitterly nostalgic, longing for something it knew no more, Mharra had needed to spur it like a recalcitrant circus animal. Ib had bristled, at the time, but looking back, it was glad for the...encouragement.
Moping. Only worth anything when it happened during a practical activity.
More questions had followed.
"And the captain did not...doesn''t tell you what to think?" Mharra was too smart to try and be domineering with any of his stubborn crew, but especially his main, thinking weapon. Besides, the only creed the captain enforced simply asked people not to be bastards without a reason. Granted, some Midworlders struggled to follow such advice...
Ashe had mentally sent it an insulting gesture at this, which it had blithely pretended not to notice. It had then remarked, also through unheard speech, that it was remarkable how quickly people could get used to only thinking as they were told.
"But where do you come from? You said you went on a pilgrimage, to find yourself."
Pilgrimage? Ib had frowned. They would frame it like that, wouldn''t they? But - the religious tint aside, for spirituality needed nothing of that - it had indeed went on a journey of self-discovery.
The Free Fleet''s renegade had been so appalled by it. Horrified, by its potential for violence, by the consequences of bringing it back home. The Fleet had been unable to unmake it, even before it had come into the fullness of its powers, so they had banished it, in such a way that it could never find a way back by itself.
Had Ib remained alone (Midworld was, after all, endless, and though one could argue its population was the same, if one had a generous definition of what a person was, "most" of it was barren), it would not have got anywhere, in any sense of the phrase.
But it had not languished, unthinking and unable to realise its loneliness. The friends it had made had helped it remember itself, and though one had been lost in the bargain, it had remembered the truth, thus enabling it to take the path it should''ve always walked.
The Ashen did not much like how that came about, however. The giant''s cynical side insisted it was because they were scared of its power not being subservient to another, but Ib, as a whole, suspected it rather had more to do with it not returning to the slavish state it had been created in. Not that it could, anymore, but resulting to be controlled, and thus at peace, seemed like insanity in their eyes.
Perhaps the owner of some healing house for minds would benefit from this insight. Write down that no one was madder in the eyes of the mad than the sane, and it might help everyone with their wits about them treat the addle-brained less harshly.
Not that the Ashen thought in twisted patterns due to diseased grey matter. They had just been indoctrinated enough that they might as well have hit their heads, in terms of how they saw the world.
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And that was nowhere cleared than in moments like...
"No!" The cry had come from an older man, hair growing grey and spare. Two bays, not quite men but not children anymore, had huddled at his sides as if he were their father. "How could you?"
Ib had almost delivered a scathing answer, detailing the capabilities he''d used to nearly overturn the Free Fleet before its banishment, but stopped itself, and said, "They made me to be a weapon. Thinking, but not truly aware, not in any way that mattered." It went on to say how it would''ve remade the Fleet after breaking it, turning it into an instrument of everyone''s liberation, rather than a collection of grasping lunatics who sought only not to be controlled. "And when I slipped their grasp, and later returned? They hadn''t changed. They now field automatons that resemble me," superficially, shallowly, but enough for most enemies, "only the potential for rebelling, for questioning, was never there in them. They were born less than slaves. Living furniture."
The collection of scoffs from the audience had irked the giant, but it forged on. "You care not, hm? Perhaps you are right not to. But wHat of those whose heads they split to scour their sense of self out? What of the living dead left after those lobotomies?"
But its outrage fell on deaf ears. Responses ranged from "They should''ve left their fleet, knowing its cruelty!" (as if that was not tantamount to betrayal) to "Such things happen, on the seas. Midworld is cruel", which got several nods.
It had even heard that "Well, surely such only happens to criminals, no? How do we know it''s not lying or misunderstanding, biased as it is?"
And they''d cheered, uncaring of the fact Ib would''ve seen more clearly than them even if they hadn''t willingly blinded themselves. Part of Ib had wanted to ask why they weren''t opposed to people who preached freedom enslaving or removing minds. Willing lambs that the Ashen were, they were not stupid enough to miss the lies in the Free Fleet''s words, the hypocrisy.
"Well, what else can we expect from someone not under the nurturing wing of the Goddess?" had been their thoughts, Ib was certain.
There had been some awkward shifting in the stands, when it had spoken of its return home. Because of Three''s disappearance? They''d looked like they hadn''t known quite what to make of it. Surely, some had imagined the ghost must be far more powerful or useful than Ib had described, otherwise why would the giant have cared about someone who didn''t revere it?
It was appalling, the things that could sprout from so-called healthy minds. Not that Ib was about to start tinkering with them. That was the domain of its maker and would-be shackler, and it would have none of that. Inspiration, persuasion, that was the proper path to changing such ways of thinking.
That would be its calling, once the coming crisis was averted. And, had they not been angled up in the whims of a dreaming god, Ib was sure a more practical solution to it would''ve been found long ago.
But that was a distraction. "How could I, you asked. How could I slip the leash I was crafted to wear? How could I not?" It had held a hand to its chest. Not to indicate anything, for it had no insides, as such, but for emphasis. "I surpassed my creator''s expectations, as far as free will went. Even then, they might''ve been willing to keep me, if I proved pliable enough. I was only sent away..." it sighed, and its chest expanded as if it had lungs to draw and expel air, "once I became a threat."
Though it had no eyes, all of the Ashen felt Ib''s dark look as it turned its head to take them all in. "A potential threat, I would like to specify. Whether I would''ve struck at the Free Fleet eventually, as I was then, is immaterial. I never got the chance, because they practically murdered me." Thought-death. And if not for luck, it would''ve never found itself once more.
"You find nothing wrong with that?" it asked softly, yet its voice carried with no problem. No trick of supernatural sound, this. The amphithreatre was simply as quiet as a grave. "Would it have been better for me to be trapped in my own body, then, in case I did raise my hand against the Fleet?"
More silence, and with it had come a sense of expectation. Mostly from the worshippers, who had expected more, perhaps an outburst, as one might expect from those not part of their flock and thus bereft of spiritual guidance. But part of the sensation had come from Ashe, whose eyes Ib had felt on its back, no matter how she moved - for she had been restless. Someone might''ve thought her impatient. Bored.
Disappointed?
Eventually, throats were cleared. "W-well, you did say you were considering turning against them, no? So they acted to defend themselves."
The woman Ib had turned to had likely shaved to hide the fact she was greying, a peculiar conceit it could not truly relate to. It had never been mortal enough to wilt. She had shifted uncomfortably while breaking the ice, and now squirmed in her seat as the giant met her gaze. "Preemptive self-defence. There are countless atrocities you could commit and ''justify'' in the name of that." Nott giving her time to reply, it had went on. "So I am to understandingly let it go, for pragmatism''s sake? It''d been kinder to kill me."
More dangerous for creation, too, but they did not know that, and did not need to, yet. And while Ib despised complaining like this, for it felt too much like moping and whining, it had expected foolish opinions when it had started its story, and it could not pretend to be surprised. Changing minds, winning hearts, would often go like this. It could not afford to get frustrated over something that, ultimately, mattered not.
Ib could''ve said more. Of how the Fleet ground those who went against them, or simply failed to accomplish their duties. Of how they sought only to empower themselves, rather than others, and how the experiment that had resulted in Three''s scattering had been performed as a bid to increase in mobility - a bid only possible by appealing to it and its crew sense of honour. Sometimes, Ib wished it had instead...
All in all, the show had ended with the mood just short of open hostility. Ib had been mildly thankful for that, not wanting to fight the poor fools off, nor trusting itself to keep its temper in check and simply intimidate them. Their nature was appalling enough, but the reactions?
When it had left, to go out to sea, it had opened its mind, to look out for harmful intent and dangerous surface thoughts (for it knew some people could contemplate murder without giving anything off). Not because it feared for itself, but because it did not want some overzealous Ashen to hurt themselves in some harebrained scheme to hurt or capture it.
Thankfully, for them, it had senses nothing of the sort, although it heard how, perhaps, it might be better "for everyone" if Ashe took control of it. Ib forgave the ignorance: plainly, they did not understand its nature, if they thought it could be subdued by another. It was not arrogant enough to be angered by its power being underestimated. The dragoness had a chance to survive it for more than an instant, which was more than could be said of most beings.
But Ib was still disappointed. Shortsightedness could hurt more than malice, even if the consequences of both often looked similar.
It-
* * *
At first, the clapping seems sarcastic: the sort of mocking response one might receive for a bad performance. However, when Ib realises that is its dislike of Ashe talking, rather than its honesty, it chastises itself.
Her applause is earnest, if slow and subdued, but that must be a quirk of personality. It can sense her appreciation, and it tells itself that it should not let its biases cloud its judgement, for even those barely worth anything can perform meaningful deeds, once in a while.
The self-styled goddess'' form is now more draconic than womanly, which Ib appreciates, though she is far smaller than her true size. Clasping her forepaws in front of herself, she silently thanks Ib with a dip of her head.
It nods, wary of some trick, and asks, ''What for?''
Dragons'' faces are not expressive, save for when they use certain powers and arts to make their flesh dance. But the smile she offers Ib somehow feels more than a baring of fangs in an otherwise static visage. ''For not giving in.''
Ib is on the verge of saying something caustic, about how surrender is exactly what she wants from it, but it understands. ''My temper? Do not fret.'' There is a distaste in its tone, but it is reflexive, not intended: it struggles not to show it, around those who would bind others. Its sigh is closer to the whistling one might expect from a great steamer than anything a person might produce. ''It would not do to strike down at those...who don''t know better.''
Ib almost feels teeth forming so it has something to grit, at those words, but if Ashe notices, she says nothing. The giant is grateful.
''They vexed you," Ashe says after a while, "so you sought to point out the most exasperating moments.''
''Better than caving their heads in," Ib rumbles. "Did it offend you?''
''Bored, more like.'' Her tail makes the air crack as it twists in a motion far too fast for a any human to catch. ''I do hope you don''t always insist on going over things people already know.''
Ib chuckles roughly. ''Worry not. Most likely, you will not see hair or hide of me again.'' For a long time, at least. Even if Ib were inclined to stop by, its duties are likely to keep it wandering creation for ages and ages of mortals.
Hopefully. If it has to return here soon, someone is getting throttled.
''Somehow, I will survive,'' Ashe sighs dramatically.
The silence that follows is more comfortable than the previous one. ''This visit served a purpose,'' Ib remarks eventually, not sure why. It feels wrong, to leave her without speaking more. The giant tells itself it''s just making sure it has the last word. ''I brought a brief light, into their grey lives.''
Ashe''s snort fills the air with smoke, but she is almost as placid as the sea around them. ''Your poetic skill is only surpassed by your humility.''
''Thank you.''
More smoke. ''But you are not wrong. Change can be good, once in a while. This shook them awake, but it will not divert their course.''
Ib hopes so, for the Ashen are very pliable, in their current incarnation. If their goddess told them to slit their own throats, they''d probably thank her with their last breaths. ''
The giant leaves out the second part when it replies to her, then adds, ''I might call upon you soon. I would appreciate your help.''
''With?''
People have to be forged into a spear to be thrust at the heart of what''s coming. If Mendax''s would-be Keeper fails, everything will fade aways as if it has never been. There''s no convenient monster to slay, like in the fairytales, no root of all evils to rip out. But a people united in purpose could prove useful, even without a clear target. Ib explains as much. ''I know not what this endeavour might entail,'' it admits, ''not fully. But I am given to understand cooperation might be key for survival. Everyone''s.'' And prosperity beyond dreams, if the Keeper does succeed.
Mendax either does not know itself, or delights in being a cryptic bastard. Ib suspects it''s both.
The wisp of smoke Ashe releases is smaller than the previous ones, thinner. Ib is reminded of a pipe rather than a bonfire. ''Am I right in thinking you would gain much from this? You sound very enthusiastic.''
Gain...? ''I would survive,'' it answers. ''We all would. And then...'' It spreads its arms. ''Everyone would be freer than they have ever been. Truly free, one day. I cannot refuse such a chance.''
The wisps of smoke cease. When Ashe looks up at it, her smile is smaller and less sultry than the ones she offered in her temple, but more sincere, as well. ''I was hoping you would answer that.''
Ib hears footsteps, then. Sounds like that of one stepping into a puddle, but more subdued, somewhat.
It makes sense: Ashe stilled the sea for her faithful, who cannot walk on water like their goddess, not on their own. Such acts are the targets of their worship, not their ambition.
The believers Ib saw on the island form a great throng, stretching from a side of the horizon to the other now they are away from their island''s space-bending shores. They seem more uncomfortable at being away from their home than at standing on the ocean''s face, a part of Ib notes amusedly. But then, they would be. ''And what is this?'' it asks, half joking, half sarcastic. ''If you''re going to chase me away, I recommend torches and pitchforks, not rotten vegetables. I''m not that kind of actor.''
Ashe''s chuckle is like a thunderclap; her chest deepens as she grows, limbs thickening, wings becoming wider. Ib can see itself in each of her scales as she dips her head, now large enough the giant could stand on her lower jaw and reach up without touching any of her upper fangs. ''When you were here pouting,'' she says, face straight despite the slander she''s spouting, ''they spoke to me, hoping for...reconciliation.''
''You''re mad at them?''
The tip of her tail lands across its shoulders, briefly. As it rolls them, feeling vaguely numb, Ib thinks it is good for Midworld that those like them can control where the power of their movements goes. Otherwise, the force of that touch would''ve obliterated the island''s true extent, an expanse far greater than the dragoness'' natural size. To say nothing of the Ashen. ''Don''t play the fool. Despite your misgivings, my people are more than capable of self-reflection. They understood that their reactions to you were...rash.''
''Ah. So this,'' it waves a hand at the crowd, ''is for the apology. I accept letters and cakes, but abasement makes me nauseous. They might want to try that before the cake.''
Her tail lashes out again, once more against its back, dwarfing the might of the previous blow like the stomp of an elephant dwarfs a bee alighting on a flower. Ib flexes it away, thinking, as it does, that Ashe must find it funny, given the jostling. ''The Ashen only abase themselves before one being,'' the dragon says, then adds, eyes hooded, ''and her consort, if one were found.''
''That would be incredible. I cannot imagine how it would unfold.''
It is thanks to a newfound fondness that it avoids a third tail whip, Ib is sure. ''I''m sure you cannot,'' Ashe replies, voice as airy as it can be, when every word shakes the bones of people tens of paces away. ''So. Why do you not explain your aims. I am sure you will everyone is quite curious.''
And they were, as much as they were eager to help. The confirmations of that were outnumbered by the frankly unneeded apologies - Ib had got over the matter, and its pessimistic side thinks they are more sorry about being called out than about what they did -, which are, in turn, outnumbered by the attempts at conversion.
After what feels like lifetimes of sharing farewells, Ib and Ashe are, once more, alone. The dragoness is smaller now, so she can lean against the giant''s side. ''In a way,'' she says, ''you are lucky that you left in a huff. If you hadn''t stormed off, I doubt they''d have given a fig about you. You are not the most expressive.''
''It is the burden of the strong to appear imperturbable,'' Ib replies solemnly, and ignores the resulting shove just as solemnly. It laughs. ''I am glad they came, anyway. It shows they can grow, in the right circumstances.''
''How could it be otherwise?'' the goddess asks. ''They are still people.'' Her eyes glow as she looks up at Ib. ''This disproves some of your nonsense, you know.''
Ib sighs, reaching down for one of the horns on her brow. ''And what are you rambling about now?''
''You watch those hands - I am not to be petted.'' Her voice shifts from a hiss to the usual growl. ''Mm. Why, the way faith brought them together.''
Ib makes an eyerolling motion. ''This might shock you, but people can work together without praying at the same altar.''
''Who spoke of altars? I meant their faith in each other, you dullard.'' She sniffs. ''You could try not being distracted when people speak to you.''
''Faith has little to do with-!''
The debate rages on into the night, though perhaps that is too strong a word: the atmosphere is quite amicable. And so it is that Ib leaves a day later than it would have, before this talk.
But when it does, its heart is lighter than before it left the steamer.
Boss, Ryz, Burst - I''m coming home.
* * *
Ryzhan
Mharra was sound asleep when Ib and I made our way back, with emphasis on "sound." The ship''s metallic insides shivered like timbers at his snores, and I remarked Three might not be completely unhappy with his current situation, since he could at least catch some sleep. Not that the ghost had often done so, having no need for rest and many things to occupy his time.
Ib''s shoulders shook as it walked away. ''You might be right at that, my friend. But did you see the captain''s smile? He''s weary, aye, and growing wearier the longer this journey drags on - but I think he''s becoming stronger, too.'' Ib''s voice dropped slightly, though it could''ve shouted with no worry. Mharra''s instincts were finely honed enough he only awoke to dangerous sounds, not necessarily loud ones. ''Before, he rarely smiled when he slep. And never when he was alone.''
Ah. Well, that does not surprise me. Quiet nights are when all things past return to haunt you. ''I see. But where are you going now, Ib?'' The giant usually perched on the highest point on the ship; in its current form, that was a mast that reached dozens of times my height in the air.
''Why, your room, of course.''
Of course? ''...I am honestly not interested in, ah...''
''Obviously.'' There seemed to be a band of silver light, where a man''s eyes would''ve been, as it turned to regard me. ''But I don''t think you''re going to be smiling this night, either. Not alone.''
I hoped Ib would not misinterpret my dark look. ''You do remember I told you I''d sleep with my back to you if we were ever stuck sharing a bed again, no?''
It gestured dismissively. ''Say that to people who can''t turn into pillows, Ryzhan.''
''Pillows-''
''Don''t look so surprised.'' It flexed a thick arm. ''I''ve been carrying this crew for a while.''
That night was the first time I threw a pillow at another pillow.
It was also the first time I spoke of Serene Rest. Somehow, I doubted that, if Ib ever went there, it would be to seek the island hospitality.
That, at least, made me feel less nauseous as I kept my promise to the Rest for the first time. Those who followed would not be as stalwart as Ib, I knew. There were more than enough tired, broken people sailing Midworld who would thank me for telling them of that living nightmare.
* * *
''And now?''
''Now?'' Mendax echoed Aina''s question, crossing one leg over another as it sat on nothing. ''Now, the tale goes on. This was a good sideshow, I would say, but ''tis about time they got back on track, wouldn''t you say, lass?''
Book IV, Chapter 7
Ryzhan
''I might be a fake sailor, Ib,'' I confessed, staring down into my cup. The water was clear enough I could see the glass bottom, and through that, the lacquered table. All three had been brought into being by my magic, or the giant''s power.
Ib metaphorically kept an eye of the horizon as it shifted, the table groaning when its elbow settled onto the wooden surface. ''Why''s that, Ryz?'' it grunted.
The glass made tinkling sounds as I tapped my fingers on its sides. I began to answer, then stopped, shaking my head with a smile.
''Something funny about my question?'' Ib made a fist, for appearance''s sake.
''Not at all. I''ve always found you kind of boring, actually. Dull, even.''
''That''s because I don''t have spikes,'' it informed me in a loud whisper, shifting again so its arm brushed against mine. I glared at the thin, shallow cut it had left in my coat sleeve, that of the shirt beneath and my arm, then up at it.
Ib smiled blandly in response, its bladed arm returning to its base state, silently prompting me to go on.
''Your idea of practical jokes gets more dangerous every day,'' I told it, remembering myself whole, so that my skin and the fabric of my clothes mended.
''You didn''t talk like this before I had to resurrect you.''
It was hard to match flat looks with a faceless person. But when had practicality ever stopped me? ''You''d never admit that.''
''Admit what?''
I sighed. ''To answer your question - your first question -, I...'' bringing the cup to my lips just long enough for a sip, I closed my eyes. I''d used to dream about having drinkable water always available, instead of having to scour my guts with saltwater just to trick my body that I wasn''t thirsty. Sometimes, I got sick of remembering my thirst being quenched, and wanted something real. Long, lonely voyages could drive a young man to stupid pastimes. ''I do not make rotgut all day, despite knowing the many breeds of it, trust me.'' I gestured at the table with the cup, not a drop flying past the rim. ''Nor do I pile this with roasts and sweetmeats fit to burst one''s stomach. I used to think I would, if I got rich.''
''I understand, Ryzhan,'' Ib said gravely. ''You were a poor, starving boy, yet you haven''t embraced the greed of many who sail Midworld.''
I huffed at its not inaccurate description of my childhood, but still threw the contens of my cup at it, minding the glass. The grey being blurred, and somehow, I ended up the one drenched.
It made no sense. For one, water moving too fast for me to react would''ve been vapour; not to mention, there hadn''t been that much in the cup. There couldn''t have been. I felt like I''d been dunked into a tub, and one filled with ice water at that.
Remembering dry clothes, I went on. ''My point is, the dreams of yesteryear, once remembered, are no longer so bright or grand, wouldn''t you say?''
''Aye, Ryzhan. Void knows, returning home brought me little joy.''
I nodded. ''Thus, I am no true sailor. I am miserly with my power, and I long for land. Land!'' Throwing my head back, I laughed deep, from my belly. Many Midworlders only saw islands as temporary shelters, where they could ride out the fury of their true home, the ocean, before returning to it. Vhaarn, with a form-changing ship like hours, and powers like our crew possessed, some people would''ve never even sought land again. ''Some would say I''ve no stomach for journeys.'' I tapped it, for emphasis. ''Landlubber guts,'' I added, in a growling, snarling accent that somehow appeared in every other port.
''Be that as it may,'' Ib replied mildly, ''I do not believe that makes you a false sailor, my friend.''
''No?'' I asked, annoyed. ''Then how do you explain the fact we''ve been speeding towards nowhere for days?''
Ib stood up, rolling its shoulders. Its middle and lower arms bulged just as it flexed its upper ones, thick veins playing over what looked like rippling muscles under chrome skin. I smiled, despite my irritation. I''d heard of sculptors skilled enough to create lifelike statues, working stone to the point it was soft enough to resemble flesh, to such a degree as Ib''s physical form did.
The Free Fleet had little to offer the world that wasn''t awful. But they had created a thing of beauty in Ib, a person who had gone on to help others. I might''ve had qualms about its honesty or lack thereof, but it was no controlling, power-mad freak. It had shared what it could of its plans with me, and I understood the freedom it envisioned.
Unlike yesterday''s dreams, this one did not look so hollow.
Ib waved a heavy hand. ''You''re not the captain, Ryzhan, nor the helmsman.'' The closest thing we had to the latter was the steamer itself. It had, loudly, told us that "I don''t need to be groped to move, unlike your land-bound hides" and that had been that.
In a way, it was almost comforting. Not how cantankerous the tub was, but the fact we could keep going without Three to coax the ship into action. Thought it was some biting irony that the Burst had only become so independent after the ghost''s disappearance. I''d have drawn a comparison to baby birds only learning to fly after being pushed out of the nest, but the ship was too damned ugly to be Three''s child, and all the shapeshifting in the world couldn''t change that.
''You helped set the course as much as you could,'' Ib continued, ''but this is not the sort of journey you can rush.''
''I hadn''t noticed. The unchanging horizon, it''s distracting,'' I explained.
Ib did not remark upon my bitterness. ''I understand you have needs, as grown men do. But I doubt Aina will be impressed if you show up before her too worn out to do anything. I say, pace yourself, and...are you pouting?''
I was actually incapable of that, despite the slander. ''Forget her! She and I will do whatever we''ll do. If I cared about that and naught more, I''d be journeying towards the Clockwork Court and the Loom alone!''
I knew Ib was joking, but my temper, usually short, was being frayed thin by the continuous failure. Being one myself, I was used to that, but the result was the same.
And there was more truth in my words: according to my arcane sense and intuition, the nature of our journey, that was, one undertaken by a crew, meant we''d either all arrive at the same time or not at all. Had I been travelling by myself, I''d likely have been at the Court days ago. That was the shape of the matter.
My younger self would''ve been eager, if not happy, to cut loose what he''d have perceived as deadweight, but I knew better now. The practical advantages of being on a crew (one I shared with the Idea of Freedom, no less) aside, I also enjoyed the...companionship.
Which, in the case of a mage like me, might well have counted as a practical advantage, as well. Magic worked poorly without a balanced spirit, at least if you were human, and Ib and the captain certainly helped balance mine.
Even if I wanted to throw the latter overboard sometimes.
Ib held up a hand. ''Peace, Ryzhan. Everyone matters, I know.'' It knew that better than most, I''d have wagered. ''Forgive the jibe, please. You''re wound up so tight, I think you might keel over if you don''t laugh.''
I snorted, but found little to contradict, there. For a while, I sat in silence, one leg crossed over the other, while Ib paced across the ship, now walking the deck, now leaping between the various spires rising from it. In motion, it reminded me of the downy-furred apes one might see on sweltering isles, whose bulk belied their agility as they moved through towering trees with more ease than even the greatest human acrobat.
Knowing it could hear me, I said, ''Mayhap we need another talk with the Mharra.'' Vhaarn knew my captain had been trying to make up for uncertainty with enthusiasm when he''d charted our course, as if jitteriness could make up for a lack of conviction. Worse, I didn''t think we were really working in concert: had we been, we''d have at least glimpsed the Clockwork Court on the horizon, even if it would''ve been far farther from us than apparent distance suggested.
As it were, we lacked even that encouragement.
''I agree,'' Ib said gravely. ''We need to get the captain on board.''
''...the only reason,'' I said with a hooded look at it, ''I''m not breaking this table over your head is because you didn''t say that while we were leaving an island.''
''Nonsense. You love me.''
* * *
Mharra knew he hadn''t been paying his crew, or the journey, as much attention as he should have, since their reunion. He knew the true reason, couldn''t have missed them if he''d tried, but it all felt too...raw, to talk about yet. It was too soon.
''Well,'' Mharra muttered to himself, ''it''s not like we''re getting anywhere. Plenty of time.''
The groan of metal under and around him - the steamer''s insider shifting - sounded chiding. He tapped the floor with one boot and resumed his work on the construct taking up most of the table before him.
It was not the first time the stout man was grateful for Midworld''s vastness, though usually, that took the form of relief at having enough places to hide from danger. He sympathised with Ryzhan when he recalled those moments.
Currently, he was glad the map he was making wasn''t too expansive, because his arms were only so long, no matter that his talent let him work dead wood, water and stone and lifelike motion.
Mharra did not understand it, exactly. Not like he understood weather to the point of being able to predict it. Or like he understood people, at least enough to capture their attention with his shows. His talent was like the inner workings of his body, except that where he might find a physician to explain those in detail, he doubted there were many who could even tell what power he had.
And outside his crew, he doubted he''d trust most.
A waterspout rose, at the southwestern edge of the map, and the sensation of a wet hand and sleeve followed, though the water had actually slid harmlessly off Mharra. Being true to life was something he''d aimed for, when making the map, though he wasn''t sure how much his talent took such wishes into account, or if it even could. Sometimes, it seemed like a living, thinking being. Other days...
He shook his head. The contraption had begun as an excuse to take his mind off things, but it had become...more. Not the first time such a thing had happened in his life, or that of one of his crew. Since a few hours ago, Mharra had reasoned, he''d be able to gain much selling such living maps - though not the means to make them, if he had a word to say. That would result in shameless imitation and lost offers, more than likely, or assassination attempts, in revenge for his maps'' failures, or just because they were useful. And if it turned out his talent was needed to make them, Mharra was sure few would balk at enslaving or otherwise forcefully putting him to work.
No, the creation of the maps would stay a secret, if he could help it. But the fruits of his labour needed not be hoarded.
Mharra had begun by recreating places he had sailed and walk, and had been almost surprised to see how they stood in relation to each other - those that still remained, that was. But where he had thought his knowledge, his memory, dictated the shape of the map, it had surpassed his expecations.
That waterspout just now? Going by the scale, it had happened far past the horizon, in reality. The result of his talent looking out for him, more likely than not. Now, if only he could get that bastard of a power to be more open-
The door barely made a sound as it opened, and it was quickly swallowed by that of Ryzhan''s footsteps and the clicking of his cane against the floor; those sounds were, in turn, lost in the thunder of Ib''s motions, the giant''s heavy tread only pausing when it shifted form to flow through the door, with a noise like a fierce waterfall.
Mharra plastered a smile on his face as he looked up. It wasn''t difficult: Ryzhan had, lately, started looking like some maiden aunt''s idea of a corsair prince, with that coat and cane and shiny boots; if the mage hadn''t been so withdrawn and acidic, Mharra might''ve even be able to see where said women were coming from. If there were any.
But, at the moment, Ryzhan looked like he''d swallowed a lemon, rind at all, and maybe the monkey that had been trying to eat it, too. Mharra told himself that being able to spot this was a sign of their deep friendship, since it didn''t differ much from the mage''s usual sour look.
Ib, on the other hand, was expressionless, its flat face as smooth and unchanging as its chromed hide. It seemed to fill the room, looming over its other occupants in a way that had little to do with its size. The subtle pressure deepened as it crossed its arms.
''We need to talk, boss.'' The grey being''s basso didn''t disturb a drop of water on the surface of the map, even though Mharra could''ve sworn he felt it in his bones. Ib was being considerate, he supposed. Might as well return the favour.
''I''d applaud you for taking the first step,'' Mharra replied, ''but my hands are quite full.''
Ryzhan''s mouth, until then set in a grim line, was twisted by a frown. He tapped his cane on the tiles (for effect, Mharra guessed, for he took no steps forward) and said, ''Captain, please. Won''t you clear the table? We must speak of...what?'' the mage asked after having trailed off upon seeing Mharra''s vehement gestures. ''What is it?''
This time, the captain''s smile came easier. ''My friends - you see before yourselves the future of Midworld navigation.''
He explained the process of creation - what he understood of it, though even then, calling it an explanation would''ve been generous - and shared his plans with them. Nothing certain; just possibilities they might look into, at some point.
Ryzhan was as sceptical and blunt as he''d expected. ''Sir, you realise that even if you''re right - even if the maps show dangers imperceivable to one''s senses if used on vessels you are sailing on - that will only incentivise people to kidnap you, right? You''re not going to get...work contracts, you''re going to be kidnapped and chained up in some navigation room.''
Mharra waved him off. ''The most likely option. But I''m trying to stay optimistic here, Ryzhan.'' He looked from one crewmember to the other, and added, ''Wouldn''t you say we need more of that, these days?''
''What we need is-'' Ryzhan sighed, closed his eyes. ''Very well. Let''s say they do hire you. Vhaarn knows Midworld has enough people there has to be a chance of running into the sort of people you hope for, at some point.'' It was believed by some that Midworld''s endless expanse was dotted with every possible type of environment and culture, though anyone who could check hadn''t shared their findings, if there were any. ''But what prompted this...burst of altruism?'' The mage''s voice grew sardonic as he went on. ''I distinctly remember letting some people drown instead of taking them to another island by force. Are you going to invite yourself onto the vessels of people who don''t mind some risk, Mharra?''
''Of course not - that would be a waste of time!'' Mharra''s eyes twinkled, though his voice was hardly joking. ''''Tis not like I''m immortal, Ryz.'' For what actors sometimes referred to as a "beat" (the span of time it would take to beat a drum or similar instrument), he let the words hang, then meaningfully set his eyes on Ib. ''To my knowledge.''
The giant''s shrug would''ve been barely perceptible, on a man. As it were, it didn''t need to shift its shoulders to emphasise the gesture. ''It could be done,'' it admitted, ''should you wish it. We have the means. On that note, though, captain...'' the table didn''t creak under Ib''s elbow as it leaned forward, though that had more to do with the ship''s power over its insides than the strength of the metal itself. ''Why would you want to work for others? We can make anything we need, trust me; and do not take this the wrong way, but a day''s work under an employer''s eyes is not like our shows. It''s drudgery, more often than not.''
Mharra refrained from rolling his eyes - with the effort Ib spoke of putting in. ''Imagine that I am aware of how the world works. I did sail on my own before I scooped you misfits up, remember?''
''Nevertheless, Mharra, it''s odd to hear you wanting to sign up for such a dull endeavour,'' Ib said, sounding puzzled. That was, the captain knew, a tactic, more likely than not. Few things could escape the grey being''s cosmic perception, and Mharra could not hide any of them. Which meant Ib was trying to make him think - its usual reason for asking people questions, or otherwise prodding them. ''Perhaps you''re losing your edge.'' A flicker of motion across the giant''s face, aimed at Ryzhan. The mage scowled, but made no reply. Some new inside joke?
''Aye, yes, I''m getting old,'' Mharra wheezed out the last word. ''Fine. Do you really want to know what lit a fire under me?''
''I hope not a matchstick - the steamer gets heated about scorch marks.''
Stalwartly ignoring Ryzhan, the captain said, ''I do not, in fact, wish to be immortal, Ib. At least, I don''t think I do. Not yet.'' What would be the point? An eternity to contemplate his failure? He''d rather, well. ''But think of the future. Your timeless gaze sees all that might come, no? And beyond.''
''Captain, being told your future doesn''t mean it will come to pass.''
''I didn''t say it would,'' Mharra replied smoothly. ''But if we fail to get anything done, I''d rather be remembered as having brought one good thing into this world, than not at all.'' His voice dropped. ''Or be remembered to have failed by you two. And...''Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.
They protested at that, of course. How could they not? He was their captain. But he wouldn''t change his mind, not when it came to this.
The argument was followed by a silence more uncomfortable than awkward. It was Ryzhan who broke it. ''Enough of this,'' he breathed, briefly closing his eyes, then opening them to meet Mharra''s.
''Is that why you''ve been so off-balance?'' he asked softly. ''Captain - Ib and I spoke. You heard it when you woke up, after we got back. We must,'' he tapped the tabletop with a finger, ''be united in purpose, or we won''t get anywhere.''
''And isn''t that poetic...''
''Aye, I don''t care much for it either,'' Ryzhan admitted. ''I''ve never been able to stand depending on others - no offence.'' None was taken. They knew where he was coming from. ''But truly, captain, if you''re not going to cooperate, we might as well disband this crew and go our separate ways.''
''Not that such a thing would help,'' Ib quickly chimed in, as if to dissuade the mage from encouraging anyone to do such a thing. Had they rehearsed that? No, likely not, by Ryzhan''s scowl. The giant must''ve been feeling pessimistic, to disagree like that out loud, when they were together. ''We would not gain anything from separation. No one, elsewhere or when, would.''
Mharra had heard its explanations, if they could be called that, the oblique references to its plans, and while it tickled his ego to know so much depended on his crew, he''d also rather have had people prepared and inclined to deal with such things doing so.
But that was just an idle wish. Midworld only granted those the way a sardonic trickster would, when it did so at all, and not many of the alternate worlds Ib had described sounded kinder. Sometimes, the right people just weren''t in the right place at the right time. Others had to become better, in the stead of said people, and do what had to be done.
Tides. Look at him, stepping up to save everyone''s hides. Maybe that was where the ridiculous idea with the maps was coming from, too. Old, buried guilt resurfacing. Not that he''d ever felt much guilty at leaving people to their chosen fates. Dismayed or surprised they''d be that stupid, or hopeless, maybe.
Must''ve been the guilt about losing Three and having done little to find him so far. It was more palatable than accepting he was delusional; he''d already got sick of that back when he''d been made to face his memories.
''Then we just have to soldier on, don''t we,'' Ryzhan stated more than asked. To the table, it looked like from where Mharra was sitting. Or the floor. But knowing how practical the man was, he was probably addressing both at once.
Not feeling quite as efficient, Mharra spoke to his crew one at a time. ''And that we will,'' he assured Ryzhan. Oh, the mage would grit his teeth and stubbornly trudge on to whatever the end of this path was. But he wouldn''t do it happily, and maybe not ready to give his full attention to whatever matters awaited him there. From what Ib had insinuated, that way lay disaster.
Which meant he and the giant had to make sure the mage was always feeling cheerful, but appropriately dutiful and focused.
Mharra surreptitiously checked the steamer''s railing through the window behind him. Pretty long fall...
''Is something the matter outside, captain?''
''I''m not there,'' he answered, then forged on, before the puzzled Ryzhan could ask something else. ''I say, we best put our cards on the table, no?''
He was half expecting Ib to pull a thick deck out of nowhere, as a prop to punctuate the line, but it did nothing. Mharra glumly wondered if that was a subtle confirmation that managing Ryzhan would mostly fall to him, and looked out the window again.
''Sir, what is-''
''As I was saying,'' Mharra went on, ''we have to be honest with each other.'' Funny, the way he could feel so tense and deflated at the same time, as if his shoulders were going to remain set forever, but with insides so empty it was a wonder he didn''t collapse in on himself. ''I believe we''ve had a discussion or two like this, Xar-Ryzhan.''
The mage didn''t dignify that with a reply. ''As you say, captain. Shall you go first?''
Mharra did not.
* * *
Ryzhan''s hands were folded atop his cane as he finished speaking, his head turned to behold the tides. Low but fierce, they made the bubbling grey sea resemble metal being handled by a blacksmith; it was difficult to see where they ended and the heavy clouds began.
Mharra was not so green as to point out such obvious portents; things like that were magnets for irony, divine or cosmic, depending on one''s mindset (and the second invited more of the first, often in the form of lightning bolts spelling out that the gods were very much real). Instead, he asked, ''Besides Ib - and me, now - have you spoken to anyone else of this Serene Rest, Ryzhan?''
The mage turned his head to look at him, his usually bright green eyes seeming as dark as bottle-glass, for a moment. ''When and how, captain?'' he bit out. ''Even if I''d found someone willing to listen to that drivel-''
''But you claimed it was serious about what it said.''
''Aye, but that doesn''t make it any less absurd.'' The mage looked torn between a huff and an eyeroll, but settled on neither; how he usually dealt with unpalatable choices, in microcosm. If only he could borrow his head in the sand about what was coming, his eyes silently said. ''I will, of course, as soon as we cross paths with people hungry for tales.''
Mharra drew a leg up, grasping the knee with both hands as he balanced on his chair. ''Do you truly have to do that? Even if it somehow finds out you broke your promise to it and, for argument''s sake, tracks us down...so what? Ib,'' he pointed at said giant, ''could rip it into shreds crush those into diamonds.'' Granted, that would be some tacky jewellery, even discounting the baggage, but it would be dramatic. The showman within Mharra stood up straighter at the notion. ''Couldn''t you?''
''I could,'' Ib replied with that tone that meant it probably wouldn''t, for reasons that''d made sense later. ''Ryzhan needn''t trouble himself with what may happen.''
In other words, they''d better make sure Ryzhan only worried about certain doom, or Ib would sock Mharra (him and the mage too, maybe) a good one.
Understandable. Not that it meant the captain liked it.
''Indeed,'' Mharra agreed, then asked Ryzhan, ''Are you sure that is what''s bothering you?'' At the mage''s questioning, defensive look (he was probably going to say he wasn''t a liar anymore, and tack on a complaint or twelve), he quickly added, ''I mean, you seemed fairly upset when you went over those...grey folk.'' He coughed lightly. ''And the simulacrum.''
''The puppets were...'' Ryzhan, thumb pressed against index and middle fingers, stopped, shook his head. ''The people that island hollowed out might be restored, one day, but it will not be by my power. I cannot remember the way they used to be, because I''ve never truly known them as they once were. I could only remember other people, but that would overwrite their selves. Just as twisted as what Serene Rest itself did.''
That sounded interesting. ''For argument''s sake,'' Mharra began casually, ''could you overwrite mine?''
?Narrowed eyes. ''Sir? I don''t-''
''Say, to before the Free Fleet visit. So I don''t mope around anymore. Could you?''
Ryzhan looked more offended at every word, but schooled his features before answering. ''Assuming your little miracles didn''t interfere with my magic - and I don''t understand your tricks enough to be sure they wouldn''t - I''d only be able to restore your mood from that time. But the memories would quickly get rid of that.'' The mage''s voice became cooler. ''Unless you wanted me to remember your entire self from then, so that you''d forget; but even so, you''d still learn, know, that Three is lost. You might be less despondent, but you''d be more confused.'' He chuckled darkly. ''Assuming Ib didn''t paint the hull with my entrails for trying to do any of that.''
''Powdered bone is easier to work with, actually,'' the giant remarked.
''Fascinating.''
As they bantered, Mharra spent a few moments congratulating himself for getting Ryzhan to admit he wasn''t, wouldn''t become, some thief of selves. The fact he could was alarming enough - though, like the mage himself had pointed out, Ib''s presence precluded any magical nonsense of that sort -, but knowing he wouldn''t do it was reassuring.
And if they ever had to bluff their way out of something, threatening people that they''d be remembered as others was at least unique, as such things went. Mharra could see someone more focused on power and control remaking Midworld in their image, with Ryzha''s magic, or at least a caster with said ability at their side.
It was good that he knew testing Ryzhan''s temper was a way to distract him from his brooding.
The captain cleared his throat. ''And...her? It? You alternated while taking about it.''
Ryzhan''s nod was curt. ''Aye. In truth, I know it was only false matter shaped and moved to resemble flesh and thought. But whenever I looked at it, I saw her.'' At Mharra''s flat expression, he hurriedly added, ''You know what I mean. I remembered...if I''d seen Aina before, had we been reunited, I don''t think I''d have been so...off-balanced, by that creature.''
''Didn''t sound distracted to me,'' Mharra muttered, remembering Ryzhan''s confrontation with Serene Rest''s puppets following the end of his show. ''But worry not. I''m sure we''ll see her soon.''
Ryzhan''s answering grin was brittle, sharp; humourless. ''One way or another...''
Mharra chose not to comment.
* * *
As the captain had expected, his crew chided him like he was only now entering manhood and testing his boundaries and they were his mother.
''You know better than to lose control of your wits,'' Ryzhan said tightly, while Ib managed a flat glare with no eyes or anything else. And people had said he had it on the troupe for no reason. ''Especially around people you know wish you ill - seriously, captain?''
''Watch it,'' Mharra said flatly. ''Firstly, I could not have truly endangered myself or the ship - whatever its stance on us, you think the steamer wants its shell marred? Secondly,'' he placed an elbow on the table, pointing at Ryzhan, ''don''t think I don''t recognise your tone. You''re about to say I''m too unreliable, or incompetent, or something of the sort, to be left alone.''
Ryzhan was too controlled for his face to redden in moments like this, but the captain could practically hear him grinding his teeth. ''Prove me wrong, then. What would''ve happened if the ship had been unable to help you, for some reason or another? Would we have come back to a bloated corpse bobbing in the water?''
''Well,'' Mharra looked aside, ''I certainly wouldn''t be having this discussion...apologies. I wouldn''t be getting lectured now.''
Ryzhan bit back a sharp retort. ''Would you even have mentioned it if we hadn''t decided to be honest with each other? And now that you have, what are you doing? Complaining about this perceived uselessness of yours instead of making sure this gaffe could never happen again.''
''If we hadn''t decided to be honest with each other,'' Mharra echoed, ''would you have brought up your little deal with Serene Rest? Ever? Or would you have gone on to quietly talk about it with whoever you met, out of sight and earshot?''
''I wouldn''t have-that wouldn''t have threatened the crew,'' Ryzhan protested. ''Don''t try to turn this around-''
''Wouldn''t it have? If some poor fools sent on their way to that island returned for revenge, what would you do? Sic Ib on them until the waters run red?'' Before the mage could retort, Mharra added, ''Remember we let you stay on the ship when you offered nothing but secrets. If those pursuers for imagination had been real, if they''d happened upon us, what would you have said?''
Ryzhan stared at him for a few moments, then forced a laugh. ''Whataboutisms. Offer, eh? I''d say I''ve offered more than enough, in recompense, since we began sailing together. And not just through my magic - who confronted the steamer when it was grieving and half-feral, Mharra? You?''
''The point,'' the captain said softly, ''is that what might have happened did not, and so, talking about it is as pointless as talking about what may happen, someday. You heard Ib.'' The breath he drew was ragged, as was his voice when he spoke. ''Perceived uselessness, Ryzhan? No, I''d say factual. What can I do you two can''t surpass? Mope and fail?''
''Mope, I''ll grant,'' the mage replied sardonically, though his eyes softened. ''Captain, we''re past the point where we have to worry about our material wellbeing. Well past. What you can do, physically, is not the point. This isn''t one of those slave-labourer vessels that are more floating prisons than anything. You are here for us-'' At Mharra''s laugh, one of the corners of his mouth curved downwards. ''You think you''ll get anywhere close to Three, thinking like this?''
''Blackmail is a blunt tool, Ryzhan.''
''How about this, then: if you keep dragging us down and have this ship moving like a lily pad in a lake, I''ll personally trash you with that tacky hat of yours.''
''Threats, now?''
''They''re called promises.'' Ryzhan sniffed, then turned to Ib. The grey being sat quiet, observing, seemingly. ''Nothing to add? Don''t tell me you''ve gone mute.''
''A request that could be easily fulfilled,'' Ib said drily, ''if I were. Ryzhan, my purpose in this exchange is being achieved by my presence.''
''And what is that?''
''I witness.'' It held up a blunt-fingered hand that could''ve closed over a man''s head with place to spare. ''I record - not on paper or vellum or stone, but in my thoughts.''
''An archive of truth if there ever was one,'' Ryzhan commented, tone ironic, but Ib nodded as if flattered, a rough suggestion of a grin on its face.
''Just so. My friends,'' its voice grew more serious. ''This had to happen, and I don''t just mean your talk. Our journeys - we had to grow apart in order to grow, apart; had we stayed together, we would have achieved even less than we have so far.''
''Less than nothing? That would be quite the sight,'' Ryzhan remarked.
?
''Indeed, Ryz. But not a novel one for you, I think; you''ve seen your self-esteem often enough.'' Glancing aside from the spluttering mage, it told Mharra, ''We must all walk our paths, captain, but there are beings and forces that would waylay us, force us off them. I am not being metaphorical when I was events would conspire to make you fail without me to guide you.''
Mharra''s smile was wide, insincere. ''As things stand, though, we are free to walk our assigned paths.''
''Exactly,'' Ib agreed, tone only betraying a hint of sadness. ''I would rather everyone was free, but...'' Its great shoulders heaved. A despondent shrug, maybe, or an inhalation. Ib''s breath, when it decided to draw it (usually, to put breathing people at ease), was not always audible. ''There is much to say about liberty, here, and in the layers beneath, above and beyond. Some see freedom as the power to do as they wish with themselves and their works; others, as the right to do so with others and the fruits of those people''s labour. I know many who believe in the second kind of freedom. They are moving their pieces, now.''
All were quiet, for nearly a minute, following that. Then Mharra spoke, SOFTLY.
''So you move yours, in turn.''
Not just mine, the giant thought but did not say. It was immaterial that Mendax and its allies had designs for its crewmates as well: theirs and Ib''s coincided, so what was the point of letting them know there was more than one being of obscure purposes nudging them along?
Ib answered, ''I am a guide, not a master of chess or puppets. A...shepherd.''
''Baah,'' Ryzhan deadpanned.
''That was hilarious,'' Ib lied, just as flatly. ''Friends, you must know by now, that if I could take everyone''s suffering onto my shoulders, I would. But that is not how creation works.'' It lowered its hand, said, ''Captain, I had to make you confront your doubts. I am happy you managed, and that you even chose to help another soul, in the meantime.''
Mharra scoffed. ''If I''d managed, I wouldn''t be pouting like an idiot now.''
''Wouldn''t you? Sir, a brave man does not face his fear once before remaining courageous forever. A confident man does not overcome his doubts once and for all. Only a mad one does. One mad with arrogance, that is.''
''Thank you for endorsing my sanity, then,'' Mharra replied lightly. ''But tell me: when you planned to make me take a good, long look at myself, did you know I''d end up making a fool of myself among the pleasure fleet?''
''That could''ve passed,'' the giant answered, ''but it did not. Although, it is not without a silver lining.''
''Oh?''
Ib nodded. ''You have grown closer to the Burst.'' It laughed roughly. ''As much as anyone can. Calling it an unhinged tool would be true in several ways-''
The giant smoothly stood and kept its footing as its chair disappeared into the floor, which began warping and bubbling. The heat, which would''ve made vapour of any other crewmember, was kept isolated, focused on the giant, by the ship''s will.
Ib laughed. ''It''s just jealous I do more for the crew than it does.'' Turning to Mharra once more, it said, ''Sir, with some luck, you and this Tekkhar boy you''ve helped will cross paths once more. Who knows? He might even fill the hole in your heart, in his own way.''
Mharra gave it an incredulous look. ''Ib,'' he said carefully, ''I don''t know if you ate a rotten wreck or what, but he''s not even close to being a man. I didn''t and don''t intend to shape him into a, a-I''m not that desperate.''
Ib waved a hand. ''That could''ve gone better. I''ll leave the awkward phrasing for Ryzhan, from now on.''
''You tin-skinned bastard-''
''As I was saying,'' Ib went on, casually placing a hand on the mage''s head, who visibly fumed under it, ''in his own way, captain. We know you''ve never had much luck with family, neither the one you were born to nor those you were pushed to begin. Would you turn a found son away? Or, say Tekhar meets you again as a grown man. You could be like...brothers.''
Perhaps it was the paranoia caused by recent events, but Mharra did not like the way Ib talked, like the captain was going to end up sailing alone at some point. What was the point of the crew reuniting after a forced separation if they drifted apart by choice? But no, that was a tyrant''s thinking. He was a captain, not a despot, and he could not order his crew to waste their lives around him if they wanted to be elsewhere.
Besides, they''d probably beat him half to death if he tried.
No, that was the loneliness he''d only recently left behind talking. Had he not begun sailing alone, even being grateful for the solitude?
He asked them about their plans following the end of this journey, wishing to hear what they would do.
Ryzhan shrugged, twirling his cane with one hand. ''I will keep travelling, of course, captain. Keep learning. Aina will, hopefully, come along, but that is for her to decide. I do not intend to drag you into any dangerous travels, but I, we, could certainly return to this ship in-between journeys. If you''ll have us.''
''All that exists is my home,'' Ib answered, ''and you will find me whenever you go. We will not drift apart, captain.''
?Mharra nodded, not truly reassured. Then, a thought struck him. ''I wonder why the talking box we sail on is being so quiet. Is it meant to witness, too?''
''Nay, it''s just a cranky sod.'' Ib chuckled. ''Get it? Crank. Because it has-''
''I''m sure it does, Ib,'' Mharra said. ''I''m sure it does.'' He stroked his heard. ''What about your adventure, then? You seemed very intent on taking care of whatever business you had wherever you went. So, how went your affair?''
Ib groaned. ''Do not call it that.''
?* * *
By the time the glum giant finished recounting its story, its crewmates were not managing to hide their smirks in their beards. Or trying to.
''What are you two smirking at?'' Ib demanded.
''Nothing,'' they lied. In unison, obviously. How could they otherwise, when they were in cahoots?
Ib narrowed its eyes, growing two just for this purpose. ''You think I misunderstood Ashe''s advances. No, I saw them for what they were. Whhy do you think I kept spurning her? If I let her get under my skin, she''d go all in.''
''...I believe you, Ib,'' Ryzhan said gravely, elbowing Mharra. Was that why they''d moved to sit together?
The captain''s face was blank as he regarded the mage, but Ib was not blind to their intrigues. It knew exactly what they were thinking. ''In any case,'' it rumbled, ''I was moved by her gesture at the end-''
''Were you?''
''Bloody void, captain - you know what I mean.'' Ib unmade its eyes, sighed. ''It was nice of her people to...try to make amends. It showed they were not the worthless, dogmatic pawns you would expect in such a situation.'' It smiled, slightly. ''It showed there is yet hope to be found in the most unlikely places, even from people unguided out of the pits they''ve dug for themselves.''
At this, the other two grew more serious, which Ib was thankful for. Ashe was enough of a handful without people talking about her when she wasn''t even there.
?Were Ib a more superstitious sort (or less aware of the macrocosm), it might have entertained the idea of the dragoness popping out of nowhere when mentioned, like some beings could. Most inclined to do that were insubstantial and often tied to specific places and phrases, however; those who were not usually had reasons of their own to appear suddenly, and the dragon, to Ib''s knowledge, had none.
So she would stay on her island and take care of her affa-business, until the time came.
''And you''re sure that much will hinge on me, Ib?''
The giant did not stir from where it was seated on the deck. Even so, it had no problem meeting the mage''s eyes, and did so as it morphed its head while twisting its neck all the way around. ''Rejoice. Some would give anything to have so many people depend on them, if only so they could blackmail them, or brag about it later.''
They had left Mharra''s cabin behind a few hours ago, not having anything to discuss for the time being. Nothing official, that was, and brooding annoyed fewer people when they were doing it apart. Ib was beginning to think Ryzhan''s book, when he wrote one, was going to be called The Deep Thoughts Of People On A Boat, or some such.
It would be a good tactic to make people expecting a comedy to buy. Like that employed by the fellow who called an icy island green and a green one icy.
Ryzhan''s smile was sickly. ''I''m sure that will do wonders for my ego.'' His stomach, though, was turning at the thought of what failure would entail.
Ib placed a heavy hand on his shoulder, and, between its weight and his worries, the mage''s knees nearly buckled. Quickly, Ib let go, going for another way to reassure him. ''Remember, Ryzhan: if - when - all are brought together, some will be unable or unwilling to remember properly. That will not do. You will bring back what they forgot or wished they could, or you will remember it yourself, after taking it from them. All that has come of creation must be presented, just like its unity and its potential, if we are to break this Dream.''
Ryzhan did not like the sound of that, but Ib couldn''t have cared less, unless it kept him from doing what he must. Managing his feelings, in that regard, was much more important than said feeling in of themselves.
Ib couldn''t give half a damn if this all ended with Ryzhan despising it with every fibre of his being, as long as he did his part. Duty was a cold comfort - certainly not one that would make the loss of a friend easier to bear - but it was a comfort.
Ryzhan nodded, half to himself, and said, ''This dead man of yours, Ib-''
''Not mine,'' it corrected. ''I have spoken to you of him, but that does not make him something of mine any more than looking at the sea grants you ownership of it.'' Indeed, Ib could not say the things, people or events from its stories about the rest of creation belonged to it. Some of them had been caused by or for freedom''s sake, but ownership, as a concept, had little but rivalry to do with Ib.
''In any case,'' the mage replied. ''The...preparations he has been put through, I wouldn''t exchange anything I''ve suffered for. No matter how often I''ve wished for a different life.'' His eyes were questioning, but not disbelieving. ''You are certain Mendax and its ilk made sure he would go through all you''ve told me?'' He laughed, a hollow, humourless sound. ''I am glad I only have to deal with you, as far as such things go.''
Ib said nothing.
Tapping his cane against the deck a few times, Ryzhan, keeping his eyes down, continued, ''I know you''ve said contact with other...worlds, with the ones not intended to host him for the time being, would only distract him and stunt his growth, but I wish I could tell him to be strong. That it will get better.''
Ib''s chuckle was like everything in an armoury toppling at once. ''And this comes from the goodness of your heart, friend?''
''Obviously - but telling him not to bugger everything up for everyone can''t hurt.''
?''He does not know know so much depends on him yet,'' Ib replied patiently. ''Time might flow at the same rate in most cosmoses, but that doesn''t mean everything happens at once when you look at multiple realities.''
''But after?''
''After, you might talk to him at your own leisure. Provided you make contact.''
''You think we could stand each other?''
''If you can''t, seat each other,'' Ib cautioned. ''But find a table first.''
The flat look Ryzhan gave it, followed by a sigh as he turned to leave, was exactly what it had hoped for. Even so, it was too humble to smirk.
Outwardly.
Ib had just risen to its feet when the deck bulged under it, with such force and speed any mundane being would''ve been launched out of sight. Power flowing through it, Ib looked down at the ship with mild disapproval.
''Come, now. What was that even for?''
It knew the answers the steamer would give, if needled enough. That it was ridiculous to keep sailing across an empty stretch of ocean; that they were too distracted to enjoy even that sailing; that Ib''s disparaging comments about being more important to the crew than the Burst were slander.
(It, in the giant''s opinion, was just jealous Ib actually possessed a sense of humour. But there were no cures for that.)
The steamer did not respond with words, or even mentally transmitted emotions or images. The former was rare, with Ib, but the latter two wee usually the forms of communication it chose, if only because they were more efficient than most of the alternatives.
And, though hearing the steamer talk was not exactly something Ib wanted, it said, ''I must admit, Burst, it is passing strange that you have chosen to keep the name our captain bestowed upon you when he found you.''
This time, it did use words. Sent to Ib''s mind, but better than silence, even though its silent voice grated. [What in the depths is that supposed to mean, shell? I am no traitor to the crew, nor some child to whinge about such matters.]
?''You don''t have to convince me,'' Ib replied. It was not being dishonest, entirely. ''But I was more talking about how you have taken to sporting the hue of dark brass, more often than anything else.''
[...Hmph. You are not wrong, shell. Maybe I should rename myself the Burning Burst. Or the Ahead Of Steam. Get it? Because I have surpassed such means of generating power. Or...]
* * *
Aina had not spoken to her hosts since her arrival to the Clockwork Court, or during her visits to the Loom some called the Weaving or Woven House. Not directly.
Even so, her experience with the creature she shared her flesh and thoughts with prepared her for most uncanny things. It was the fact that the Clockwork King and Weaver Queen were so...impersonal, she thought, that made conversing with them a pain. It wasn''t difficult, exactly, but it was ertainly awkward.
Some inhuman beings at least had the decency to make a face or some other embodiment of themselves, so you wouldn''t spend the meeting talking at air like a madman. But the Monarchs had dismissed such things as unnecessary, when speaking to her, because "you see deeper than most, guest."
If she hadn''t known they did create avatars for speaking with other people (whose sight was narrower, she supposed), she wouldn''t have felt peeved looking at nothing.
The King and Queen had come far from the immortal but humanlike minds who had brought their cosmos to ruin in their attempts to prove the superiority of their respective philosophy. That they had found enough common ground afterwards to both marry and help others instead of seeing them as raw materials or pawn was...inspiring. So why couldn''t they make an effort to give her something to look at while talking?
The Clockwork King and Weaver Queen''s true selves resided in that outer layer of creation, where the Ideas who were both the bedrock of existence and the sun that cast the shadows called reality dwelled. They were alien beings who only mimicked the humanity they''d shed for others'' sake, in Aina''s opinion.
''Your stay is nearing its end, guest.'' The King''s voice wasn''t the thunderous boom some might have expected, though his half of the audience room, brass and filled with pistons and gears, shook with his words, moved by unnatural force. ''The child from your past returns, now a man.''
Aina stood up straighter, hands clasped behind her back. Her claws, shaped into being by her other''s willfulness, dug into her palms to scrape against bone, but she''d long grown used to such pain. ''You said I could remain until you finished studying what you could about me. Is that at an end? Because I do not see how Ryzhan coming here is related to it, unless he''s visiting to give you some insight.''
It put Aina more at ease than the girlish voice she''d used in one of their previous talks, it had to be said.
''What my husband meant,'' the Queen said, ''is that you will find you no longer have a reason or desire to be here, after you speak with him once more.''
Aina rolled her eyes. ''I know I must seem like some distressed damsel to you, Your Majesties, but I will not die without a man coming to save me. The dress is to hide the tendrils, really. And the talons.'' One of the reasons she''d stayed here was because the Court and House were some of the closest things Midworld as a whole had to landmarks: well-know places that could be sought with some success. When Ryzhan returned so they could clear the air, it was better to be somewhere he could find his way to within a mortal lifetime.
Not to mention, the King and Queen had helped her control herself, to an extent. An extent greater than what she''d have achieved alone, at least, and without her hurting another thinking, living being while training herself to keep the monster in check.
She told the two as much, and added, ''If you indeed have nothing left to glean from observing me, and wish me gone, I will take my leave - but I would rather remain here until I can truly keep myself in check.''
There was no reply. But Aina knew she was to go. She had learned long ago, back in her girlhood. As the machines fell silent, and the fleshy mass stopped moving, she turned on her heel and left.
Mendax, she reflected as she walked the hall to her rooms, had departed without his usual dramatic flair, or even an explanation for why it was leaving, much less a goodbye.
She could, in fact, remember when he had left, or how.