《Odyssies of a Young Girl》


 Heartbreak pt 1

    A LEGEND BEGINS:


    A storm is heard brewing on the oceanfront as whistling winds pick up speed along the dusty shore while the sounds of violent waves crashing against the rocks fills the void of material space.


    The silent strength of water in opposition to the non-kinetic force of earth lets out the silent groans of the living dead.


    Arise, once more! O'' living dead!


    Into this realm of strife and joy you go.


    Heartbreak chp 1


    Zoe was on her way home when she saw him again -- a vision had struck. This white-dirty fur cloaked old man with an eye patch, graying blackspeckled beard and some sort of medal head band resting on his head.


    ¡°I am Halberd, King of Kings¡± he would one day tell her. But first they had to meet and all Zoe had was this mysterious vision to go on.


    She kept focusing on the image-fantasy in her mind and in doing so walked out onto a busy street. The blare of of obnoxious car horns pulled her back into sensual-physical reality away from the image that had in some sense taken hold of her consciousness yet like some trickster cloud managed to evade her covetous grasp every time she tried to focus and grab it.


    She was going to be late for class again. And her homeroom teacher already accused her of intentionally being late the last time Zoe arrived tardy ¡­ well that was the last time in a string of tardinesses.


    Zoe was always late to class. Her persecuting teacher said ¡°it¡¯s because you¡¯re in your senior year of high school¡± but Zoe was a Junior so she had no idea what he meant! She had wanted to correct him too but in truth she was too shy and insecure, lacked the strength or werewithdal as they say. She had learned ¡°werewithdal¡± in her college-entrance preparation classes.


    Zoe hopped across the street when the street light had turned green. Her body had seemed to have been in motion even before she had got the go ahead from the automatic light flicker device. But she was sure she had started walking when it had changed. When you¡¯re in a hurry time, or rather the perception of time, often seems wacky.


    As Zoe made her way down the street and could see the school building one street down further. She grew sadder and sadder as she felt the image of the wise old man float away from her consciousness until it reached this imperceptible threshold whereupon like a small heavy stone it sank deep back into the recesses of her innermost being.


    It made her lonely in a way.


    She wanted the meaning behind it.


    ¡°One more block to go,¡± she silently thought as she hurried along.Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    The school building was wide and short like a bar of soap. She passed through the white-brick inlay entrance or was it marble? She liked to think it was marble or some opaque stone. But it was brick where the cement lines had faded so much there was no more division between the brick. Just one long stone entrance.


    Zoe passed the security guard saying ¡°hello.¡± She thought he was going to stop her as he usually does but he gave a permissive lazy wave instead.


    The hallways were empty, ¡°I knew I was late!¡± She walked faster down the squeaky floor. It seemed like an angry mouse was rummaging down the hallways. The echo of her steps grew more violent with pitch and frequrncy as a mouse made of rubber sponges had come to life.


    As Zoe raced to class, she overlooked the students that were actually in the hallway. When she entered her homeroom class the teacher wasn¡¯t there and wondered to herself ¡°What is going on?¡± No students or teachers.¡±


    She sat down next to her friend Zack who motioned to her ¡°Where were you?¡±


    She replied, leaned in, ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡±


    ¡°Nothing, I just wanted to know where you were¡±


    ¡°But I mean where¡¯s Misses Zakowski? Where are all the students?¡±


    ¡°They¡¯re still arriving, what do you mean?¡±


    She looked around the room, saw the ugly attendance chart on the wall. It felt more like you were in an elementary--grade classroom not a high-school one.


    If you go perfect attendance then at the end of the semester you were entered into a raffle with a $300 gift card either to a video-game store or clothing store. The chart was intended to create cut-throat competition for perfect attendance. And it worked quite well, for those students actually motivated enough to try.


    Zack the brainiac as Zoe sometimes called him in her head, once commented ¡°Complex school bureaucracy, capitalism, and behavioural conditioning at its finest."


    She hated it. It was just an ugly chart to her. It she won good. But if she lost she didn¡¯t care because it was ¡°stupid and ugly.¡±


    ¡°I can make my own clothes anyway,¡± she thought.


    Zoe had a budding passion for making clothes, and she had in fact dabbled with making clothes.


    She loved diving into thrift stores where she would look for pieces for inspiration and sometimes even bought and re-sold cloths she knew would sell.


    Other pieces, still, were sacrificial "lambs". That is, clothing she would use as material to make new ones. "Fashion is a cut throat business," she would joke in the throughs of her artistic mania.


    It never really dawned on her that the reason she really hated the attendance chart is because it reminded her that she didn''t have money for clothing supplies.


    Well, also because it tried to force her to be on time, thus blatantly reminded her that she was late wherever every time she left the room -- ¡°as if I do it on purpose!¡± She thought, starting to get angry.


    The irritation replaced her sense of sadness and despondency of not being able to immerse herself in her dream world. Of sensory reality''s tyrannical and unequivocal hold and banishment of her inner life.


    The vision of the old man with the eye-patch that looked like some ancient king or strong wizard which had seemed more real than reality itself began to seem faker and faker the more she tried to force this welling up of inner life into a lifeless thought object.


    Inner life demanded to be channeled with non-dialectical vision, not with conceptual thinking.


    ¡°I¡¯m on time?¡± She finally processed outloud to herself with a mix of shock, confusion, and imperciptible suspense.


    She was sure she had been late and something terrible and negative had happened that¡¯s why both the hallway and classroom were so empty and also why the teacher wasn¡¯t there. ¡°Doomsday thinking,¡± as Zack had once pointed out to her. He was her friend. As close a friend as any high-school girl who self-isolates like there¡¯s a global pandemic can have. Especially considering he¡¯s a guy. But he¡¯s not like the rest she often found herself observing.


    Just then their homeroom teacher for class 303 Miss Zakowski walked in. She didn¡¯t look too pleased and didn¡¯t go up to her teacher¡¯s desk as she usually does. Instead ¡°Miss Za-owh¡± as some of the other students called her walked a few steps into the room and she spoke: ¡°Zoe Dear, I need you to come with us to the Adminstration Office.¡±

 Heartbreak pt 2

    Just then their homeroom teacher for class 303 Miss Zakowski walked in. She didn¡¯t look too pleased and didn¡¯t go up to her teacher¡¯s desk as she usually does. Instead ¡°Miss Za-owh¡± as some of the other students called her walked a few steps into the room and she spoke: ¡°Zoe Dear, I need you to come with us to the Adminstration Office.¡±


    ¡°Dear?¡± Zoe though with malice. Surprising even herself with the unconscious current of contempt that had made its way to the surface.


    The class immediately erupted with ¡°oooo¡¯s¡± as Miss Zakowski finished her sentence. The external sounds almost blocking out and flooding Zoe¡¯s internal thought processes.


    Zoe got up and took her cute-patch faced bag with her up off the ground. She wanted to look back at Zack for comfort but she didn¡¯t since everyone was watching.


    As she was walking she got really anxious, a lot moreso than a room full of strangers, ¡°classmates¡±, looking at you does. With each step she seemed to be getting weaker and her mind increasingly more blank. She felt this hollow separated presence or thought-process escaping from herself. As if being pulled etherly into some void. The thought was ¡°us?¡± In focusing on the beginning of Miss Za-owh sentence Zoe missed the second half of it. ¡°Who¡¯s us?¡± she would have thought if she could, if she wasn¡¯t so displaced.


    As Zoe walked to the front the two officers said as Zoe stepped into the hallway.


    ¡°Riverbucker?¡± Zoe said outloud in her face. She grew more anxious and winded. ¡°Riverbocker is my grandma¡¯s name¡± she finally replied. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± Zoe quickly added on, interrupting herself in a way. ¡°Is grandma okay?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s why we¡¯re here,¡± the other officer chimed in as if a second person talking suddenly brought calm to the chaos.


    The original officer bloastered himself physically by his utility belt and broadened his chest into convex. Then spoke, ¡°Your grandmother Eliza Riverbocker was in an accident. We spoke with the hospital staff who only told us your name and school. We talked with the school staff but they don¡¯t have the contract information for your parents. Is your grandmother your legal guardian ma¡¯am? How do we contact your parents?¡±Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.


    Zoe felt the bottom floor of her abdominal cavity fell out into a deep abyss.


    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± Zack suddenly asked, popping his head out of the doorway from inside the classroom. The courage it had taken him to do anything of the sort no one knew. To them though, he just looked like some whimsical kid who was out of his seat and didn¡¯t belong here.


    Zoe felt growing emotional pangs rise up from within the abyss of her innermost being.


    ¡°No, no, no. Not like this,¡± she inwardly said yet still remained mute.


    ¡°Mister Goldenstein, get back in your seat right this minute,¡± Mizz Sakowski bellowed.


    You could see Zachary was more alarmed by the armed police officers than his teacher¡¯s protestations.


    The adolescent physique of Noahs (Zacks) youth further contrasted the strangeness of armed men in the wallways of a little high school most people don¡¯t really care about.


    ¡°Excuse me,¡± Zoe finally let out in a whisper.


    ¡°Son, I¡¯m going to need you to get back into your ass as this doesn¡¯t concern you.¡± an officer said to Zack as if pushing a demon hoard back.


    ¡°Excuse me, Zoe said with irritation yet through the funnel of a whisper.


    Zack got strangely combative, ¡°You can¡¯t tell me what to do! This is a school building. We have rules here!¡±


    The other officer finally replied, ¡°Sir, unless you¡¯re Miss Riverbocker¡¯s sibling. I¡¯m going to have to ask you to go back inside. It¡¯s for your own safety.¡±


    ¡°Mister Goldenstein, how dare you talk back to these noble officers who risk their very lives everyday to make sure you have a safe community to live in! Now I told you to get back into your seat right this minute -- NOW!!¡± Rather than wait for Zachary to listen, Miss Zakowski started hurrying him physically.


    Then Zoe finally burst ¡°What the fuck is going on here?? Where¡¯s my grandmother. I don¡¯t want her to die.¡± Zoe broke down into tears, she had somehow ended up sitting on folded knees sobbing.


    The police officers looked more alarmed and confused what to do with a sobbing teenage girl than anyone else present. You quickly got the feeling as they grew more and more uncomfortable that they rather be chasing after a bad guy than deal with this mess.


    ¡°Now, now, dear,¡± Mizz Za-owh helped Zoe up off the floor.


    ¡°Now you¡¯ve really done it,¡± Zack told the original officer he was trying to start a fight with, possessed by what spirit of his past we don¡¯t know.


    ¡°Get over here,¡± the provoked officer motioned towards Zack in a ¡°you little weasel¡± type manner. Zack quickly finally ran back inside the classroom. The officer stopped his fake-out motion.

 Heartbreak pt 3

    ¡°Get over here,¡± the provoked officer motioned towards Zack in a ¡°you little weasel¡± type manner. Zack quickly finally ran back inside the classroom. The officer stopped his fake-out motion.


    ¡°Oh please don¡¯t arrest him officer, he¡¯s just an innocent little child,¡± Miss Zakowski quickly added.


    ¡°Oh that was just a joke right?¡± The other officer said tapping the back of his hand against his partner¡¯s chest, coincidentally near the badge.


    ¡°Yeah, yeah. They¡¯re teenagers. We get it,¡± the original officer said begrudgingly as his lighthearted manner returned to him. They both turned to Zoe, the look of ineptitude returning to their demeanor.


    Zoe¡¯s sobs deepened. ¡°I don¡¯t want her to die,¡± she looked at her hands, ¡°She¡¯s dead isn¡¯t she?!¡± Her sobbing intensified.


    ¡°No ma¡¯am, your grandmother¡¯s still alive. We got the details of the car accident from her. Then she went back to sleep. She looked bruised and tired is all.¡±


    Zoe still in her grief somehow turned on her reason brain. ¡°But if you talked with her why didn¡¯t you get my parent¡¯s information from her or why did the hospital staff have to give you my name and school? Why didn¡¯t she tell you? I know she¡¯s dead, I know it,¡± Zoe said bewildered.


    ¡°Zoe dear it¡¯s okay. The good officers said she was tired and just sufferred a trauma. She went back to sleep dear.¡±


    Zoe looked less lost in her grief.


    Miss Zakowski answered the officer¡¯s questions again. She had already done so when she had lead them through the hallway to Zoe¡¯s class. ¡°Yes, Eliza is Zoe¡¯s legal guardian,¡± she continued with uncertain voice ¡°I call her all the time about Zoe¡¯s lateness.¡±


    Zoe would have rolled her eyes if she wasn¡¯t so distressed.


    The officers finally snapped out of their unconscious stupor.


    ¡°Ma¡¯am,¡± spoke one referring to Zoe, ¡°we need to hear it from you. That you¡¯re related to Miss Eliza Riverbocker and that she¡¯s your legal guardian.¡±


    All three adult faces turned to a helpless Zoe. She had gone from feeling overwhelmed and lost in grief and dispair to now feeling nothingness, a cool emptiness pervaded her being. Numbness is feeling the same thing over and over again until you can¡¯t feel it anymore.Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author''s preferred platform and support their work!


    She wanted to say ¡°yes,¡± she almost did even in her thoughts but as she went to go have the thought it felt like she had been climbing some slippery hill and as she approached the top she took a tumble downward. And remained silent, saying nothing.


    You could almost hear the inaudibleness as it penetrated the moment: N-O-T-H-I-N-G wafted through the air reveberating the emptiness of spacetime itself.


    Zoe felt another smaller stone drop down the center of her being, down from and through her abdominal cavity into the netherness below.


    ¡°Yes,¡± she found herself saying. She felt a wave of openness and ¡°calmness¡± wash over her. She felt lighter. She felt and was in reality.


    ¡°Yes, that¡¯s my gram-gram,¡± or as Zoe¡¯s mother had once joked when Zoe was little ¡°Grand, Grand, the Holy One.¡± In equal parts derision and jealousy.


    ¡°Will you take me to go see her?¡±


    The officers did indeed take Zoe to the hospital. The whole ride was a blur really -- devoid of any meaning. She had even forgot to take her bag, wondering why no one told her she had left it in the hallway. ¡°Maybe Zack will get it,¡± she thought to herself as the police car pulled into the driveway of the hospital.


    ¡°I don¡¯t believe them, I know she¡¯s dead¡± Zoe thought to herself as she walked through the entrance of the hospital. The receptionist looked at her whimsically, a ¡°why is a teenage girl being escorted by two armed men¡± type of look.


    Oddly enough the nurse knew them. ¡°Hey Clark and Joe, what¡¯ll it be today?¡± It seems they were regulars.


    ¡°We¡¯re escorting Miss Zoe here to see her grandmother. The elderly lady from this morning who was in the car accident Riverbocker.¡±


    ¡°Ah yes,¡± the nurse gave Zoe a serious look as she continued scanning her.


    ¡°What?¡± Zoe finally let out.


    ¡°Nothing dear¡±


    ¡°I know she¡¯s dead. That¡¯s why you keep looking at me. I know it.¡±


    ¡°No dear, we moved Miss Riverbocker to a room upstairs. She¡¯s fine. We wouldn¡¯t have moved her if her wounds weren¡¯t treated and she was stabilized. The doctor gave the OK.¡±


    ¡°Then why do you keep looking at me?¡±


    ¡°I just wanted to make sure you were the one who¡¯s okay, love. A young girl shouldnt never be with police officers unless they¡¯re carrying her in an armchair,¡± she joked.


    Clark, one of the officers, gave her a playful look.


    ¡°Why did you bring this girl here officer?¡± The nurse teased Clark, ¡°you just wanted to see me didn¡¯t you.¡±


    ¡°Enough of that young lady,¡± Clark responded in earnest. Joe and Zoe rolled heir eyes at their love games.


    ¡°Excuse me, don¡¯t you have a job to do?¡± Zoe wanted to comment irritably.


    Joe spoke, ¡°we bought Miss Roverbocker here to see her grandmother because she is her guardian. As she is still under legal age we need to get in contact with her parents. But in the meantime maybe she can stay in her grandmother¡¯s room while we get things all sorted out.¡±


    ¡°Yes, that¡¯s alright. I¡¯ll go mention it to my shift supervisor now.¡± The nurse said.


    ¡°I¡¯m so so scared,¡± Zoe¡¯s insides rumbled.


    ¡°I think I¡¯m getting hungry,¡± Zoe told the two officers as she touched her belly. The emotional pangs were getting worse.


    ¡°I really need some food,¡± Zoe said alarmed and scared.

 Heartbreak pt 4

    ¡°I¡¯m so so scared,¡± Zoe¡¯s insides rumbled.


    ¡°I think I¡¯m getting hungry,¡± Zoe told the two officers as she touched her belly. The emotional pangs were getting worse.


    ¡°I really need some food,¡± Zoe said alarmed and scared.


    ¡°Alright, alright,¡± Joe told Zoe.


    ¡°Go follow the nurse and talk to the supervisor then call dispatch back. I¡¯ll take her to the cafeteria and you can meet me there,¡± Joe then told Clark.


    ¡°Let¡¯s get going,¡± he nodded to the girl. They took the elevator one floor down and as they were roaming the hallway they passed a vending machine filled with snacks that caught Zoe¡¯s eye.


    ¡°This will do,¡± Zoe remarked gleefully in her teenage youth.


    The officer rolled his eyes and murmured something about a ¡°balanced meal.¡±


    ¡°Do you even have money?¡± He let out in parental desperation as he watched her choose between chips and cookies.


    ¡°Yes, yes, thank you,¡± Zoe said in a predator-induced trance. Victory-or-defeat, there can be only one outcome.


    The officer put his hand to his forehead, remarking ¡°I wasn¡¯t offering¡­¡±


    His words went unheard as Zoe entered her change into the vending machine, the mechanical beeps and coins dropping blocking out all the remnents of noise.


    Grabbing her snacks and tearing into it. The officer remarked ¡°you don¡¯t want to go to the cafeteria anymore, do you?¡± As he counted the number of snacks she bundled in her left arm as she skillfully ate with her other arm.


    ¡°Nah-omph, nah-omph¡±


    After a big gulp of half-chewed food, ¡°Can I go see my grandmother now? I miss her so much already.¡±


    Joe let out with exasperated breath, ¡°let¡¯s go.¡±


    Zoe meticulously ate all her snacks while walking and not dropping a crumb! A few almost escaped but she caught each one.


    She had one bag left when they made it to her grandmother¡¯s floor. She could have eaten the last bag in time but she didn¡¯t want that numbing-consciousness-narrowing dull effect in the immediacy of her experience right before she stepped into her grandmother¡¯s room. She wanted to give it some time to fade so she stopped eating.


    As they walked through the floor, the nurses station was empty, so they continued on into the room.


    Zoe could see her grandmother through the door¡¯s window. It was dimly lit but what light remained captured the old woman¡¯s image.


    Zoe felt hesitant and still, more in a paralyzed sense, yet almost as if outside looking in on herself. She watched as her arm swung upwards and her hand opened and released the doorknob.


    She walked in and the first thing she heard was the heart monitor. The room had two beds inside but the first, closest to the door, was empty and undraped.Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.


    Zoe walked towards her grandmother. ¡°I¡¯m sorry for not being there for you,¡± she found herself wanting to say. Somehow the thought made her more tired and feel emptier inside. She felt heavy and all her thoughts felt vague, obscure, and muddled together. One long diffuse pool of sensory input.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what to say,¡± she wanted to tell Joe who hadn¡¯t followed her into the room.


    Zoe found herself thinking about all the times her grandmother had lifted her up the ground as Zoe was learning to ride a bike. She was transitioning from not relying on training wheels, as a little kid growing up too fast too soon, and everytime she tried to ride to just toppled over and scraped a knee.


    Zoe didn¡¯t want to wear kneepads because the velcro straps in the back rubbed the back of her knee raw.


    ¡°You just have to keep going Zoe-baby,¡± her grandmother said sweetly.


    Zoe still had a mark on her knees from all the falls. ¡°I¡¯m going to take care of you now, the way you took care of me grandma...It¡¯s my turn to lift you up now, we¡¯ll get through this,¡± Zoe remarked.


    Zoe¡¯s grandmother looked tired yet peaceful. As tired as a body that¡¯s been experiencing and breathing for three quarters of a century could be.


    Zoe found herself getting hungry again.


    She wanted to stay longer by her grandmother¡¯s side but she found herself feeling so physiologically restless, overstimulated. She couldn¡¯t hold her own attention, albeit when is an ailing caretaker ever an easy sight to see? ¡°I don¡¯t know what to do,¡± she said again in different variation.


    Her insides were shaking, ¡°how do I express all that I want to say?,¡± she thought. ¡°I don¡¯t know how.¡±


    It felt unsurmountable.


    She finally said outloud, ¡°thank you for everything. You were the best thing to ever happen to me.¡± She wished her grandmother was conscious. That she culd hug her and be enveloped in the sense of comfortable she always felts grams to be especially when Zoe felt uncertain or lost inside. It was still something.


    Zoe was glad she had said something now. It felt good to start to put order to the confusion.


    She felt like she wanted to stay longer but as she also felt there was nothing left for her to do she wanted to go. The tension compounded her anxiety.


    Zoe heard Joe¡¯s radio from the doorway. Something about a ¡°code 4¡± there was a stream of indiscernible chatter usually there was just a burst from it up until now.


    ¡°Zoe,¡± Joe popped in from the hallway. ¡°I¡¯m going to step away from the door. If Nurse McAdams or the floor nurse comes back let her know that I went to go get Officer Johnson from the cafeteria. He¡¯s not answering his radio. My name¡¯s officer Rowan by the way.¡±


    ¡°Okay, thank you for bringing me here in the first place,¡± Zoe said outloud but as her words fell out of her mouth into reality and then her ear. They felt a certain heaviness as they punctured through into reality and so she only ended up saying ¡°okay.¡±


    ¡°So that¡¯s what their names are,¡± she thought to her. Then also wondered ¡°how am i going to get out of here now?¡± She felt trapped as if she had to wait for Officer Joe to get back now.


    She let out a deep sigh. Zoe didn¡¯t realize how tired she was until she sat into the chair. Soft yet firm and unyielding, she felt the wooden structure underneath more than comfortableness of the cushion. It was soft enough though and Zoe quickly fell asleep.


    [some time later]


    ¡°Zoe? Zoe? Is that you?¡±


    ¡°Who¡¯s there?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s me, baby-cakes. Grandma.¡±


    ¡°Grandma!?¡±


    ¡°Why can¡¯t I see you??!¡±


    You¡¯re dreaming baby.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m dreaming?... But why is it so dark? I don¡¯t see anything!!¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s because you¡¯re dreaming baby! Come on now, just come to me. Follow the sound of my voice.¡±


    ¡°But I don¡¯t have a body. All I see is darkness.¡±


    ¡°Just try¡±


    Silence. The darkness creeped in and Zoe became more anxious.


    ¡°Nothing¡¯s happening! If this is a dream I don¡¯t to be here anymore.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay baby, I have a mission for you. I want you to take Hal and travel to the peak of Mt. Dominus. Once you¡¯re there you can see the Valley of the Depths. And I want you to go there and shatter the crystal rock of Gibralter.¡±


    Zoe remained flustered, ¡°Shatter what? Go to Mt. Hal and the Valley of Gibralter?!¡±


    ¡°No baby. It¡¯s okay. Calm down --¡±


    ¡°But grandma I just want to be with you. I hate this darkness. I thought dreams were suppose to have images.¡±


    ¡°Baby. Just listen. And this isn¡¯t a dream anymore.¡±


    ¡°So it¡¯s not a dream!?¡±


    ¡°You were always this stubborn. That¡¯s why I always liked you and felt close to you. Not only because you were my grandbaby but because you reminded me of myself when I was younger. Now listen.¡±


    The dream voice continued, ¡°You and Hal. Mission. Mountain Dominus. See and go into Valley of Depths. Crystal of Gibraltar go boom.¡± Then added, ¡°Got that?¡±

 Heartbroken

    ¡°You were always this stubborn. That¡¯s why I always liked you and felt close to you. Not only because you were my grandbaby but because you reminded me of myself when I was younger. Now listen.¡±


    The dream voice continued, ¡°You and Hal. Mission. Mountain Dominus. See and go into Valley of Depths. Crystal of Gibraltar go boom.¡± Then added, ¡°Got that?¡±


    ¡°Boom?¡± said Zoe with a whisper.


    ¡°Boom,¡± said the dream voice in agreement and reinforcement.


    ¡°Ohhh. You want me to break some crystal in Gibraltar but I can only see it in the Valley of the Depths which is only accessible through Mountain Domi.¡±


    ¡°Yes, basically baby¡­ that was really good. It¡¯s Mountain Dominus though,¡± the dream voice corrected her.


    ¡°Mt. Domi sounds cuter¡­¡±


    ¡°Girl if you don¡¯t get your hiney over to the mountain right now¡±


    ¡°Wait Grandma but whose--¡±


    ¡°Zoe? Zoe? Hey wake up. It¡¯s time to go. Wake up.¡±


    Zoe woke up in the hospital armchair, sitting towards her grandmother Eliza. The unconscious thought ¡°whose Hal?¡± percolated into her conscious mind before it faded way like any other ethereal thing.


    Officer Joe was standing talking to her, Officer Clark by his side.


    ¡°Zoe we¡¯re back. I got Officer Dawson.¡±


    Zoe was still groggy from her dream, in fact she felt like she was still there in the dream space. Her body felt wholly contained in another realm, somehow superimposed over this present reality. Everything outside of her, the room, the empty space, other people, all took energy and focus away from her. She glared at them as if looking into the sun, reticent of an overstimulating world she could not escape.


    After what seemed like a long silence, Zoe took a dry gulp, and finally spoke ¡°whose, whose--¡± then realized the outpouring of thought and mixing of realities that was happening. ¡°Whose Hal?¡± became ¡°nevermind¡± spoken outloud.


    ¡°Whose who?¡± One of the officers replied.


    Zoe asked a different question, ¡°go where?!¡±The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    Zoe¡¯s eyes saw her grandmother, ¡°how¡¯s my grandma?¡± she asked hurriedly.


    ¡°Go take you to your father Zoe,¡± Officer Zoe spoke, ¡°we were able to get in contact with your mother who gave us the information for your father. We couldn¡¯t reach him. But your mother said she would get in contact with him to let him know we¡¯re coming and what happened.¡±


    Then he added ¡°and your grandmother¡¯s still sleeping.¡±


    Zoe got up to go with the officers. She didn¡¯t care anymore. All the old, previous, feelings of feeling like she couldn¡¯t adequately connect with her grandmother and tell-show her how grateful Zoe was returned. Her grandmother w there in person but it felt like her spirit was trapped behind a glass wall and Zoe couldn¡¯t reach out to her -- or anyone for that matter -- into that other dimension.


    As Zoe walked out of the doorway she thought she saw her father. It was a father but not hers walking into another room. He was cheerful and had this soft demeanor similar to her own father; a man whom she had only met a few times in her life. However, Zoe¡¯s father unlike this stranger in the hospital hallway had a more puerile being or countenance to him while this man clearly had a more masculine-natural gait to him. One that came naturally through experience and his own bodily feeling not the self-imposed presentations of bravado. Maybe it was the jeweled wristwatch and business casual polo but Zoe¡¯s father wore all that too. With one man you got the sense that he got what needed to be done finished and with the other you were left waiting sad, empty-handed, and alone. That is one was responsible and the other not so much.


    Officer Clark passed Zoe who seemed to be walking slowly and he pressed the elevator button call downward button.


    Zoe did in fact linger and somewhere behind her in the distance she heard commotion. The rapid beeping of a monitor gone silent into unresponsive tone was followed by the clamoring of nurses running into a room.


    It all seemed so distant to Zoe. It took place on the periphery of her consciousness where it seemed it didn¡¯t really concern her even though she was cognizant of it.


    ¡°Zoe,¡± Clark put his heavy hand on her shoulder. ¡°That was your grandmother¡¯s room. She¡¯s in trouble.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡± Zoe said clueless.


    ¡­


    Three days had passed before Zoe ate anything more than a cup of hot instant noodles.


    The two officers Joe and Clark did indeed end up taking Zoe to her father¡¯s house. She was catatonic by the time she got there. He, irrelevant as always.


    Zoe had been hysterical when she ran into her grandmother¡¯s room. Officer Clark had to bear-hug her from the back and pull her out of the room. Even that had not been enough, first she almost slipped out of his grasp before he managed to grap her again. Then she started clawing at his arms and kicking his legs from below. Officer Joe had to grab her legs and hold them as Clark lowered his grab to include her foearms. Zoe¡¯s might was matched only by her screaming which quickly, already incomprehensible , devolved to deep sobbing and murmuring.


    The frantic sobbing continued first in waves then in volleys until they ripped and into the hospital hallway, whereupon she broke into a sudden eerie mutedness. Just silence and unfeigned stillness. The cessation of nervous-system energy as expressed in the animal body.


    If you looked at her chest you could not see it even moving with breathe.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to live anymore,¡± was the unconscious command emanating from her being: ¡°I give up.¡±

 Father-Irrelevant pt 1

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to live anymore,¡± was the unconscious command emanating from her being: ¡°I give up.¡±


    Zoe was quiet for a long time and by the the time she started looking to the officers and comprehending the world around her, she spoke even less. It seemed like they were taking her home. The sweet nurses gave her some hot tea ¡°for nerves,¡± but she did not drink it because the chaotic heat of the cup was a sensory affront to her numbness.


    She did not take it with her initially because it was too heavy.


    And then she forgot about it.


    By the time Zoe had moved from the hallway a great deal of time had passed at least three hours she guesstimated later. When Zoe rose to the fact that she was being taken home she thought they meant her grandmother¡¯s place. Zoe¡¯s home: where she lived, where she ate, where she went to sleep; where she played videogames, wrote short stories about aliens and ghosts ¨C they¡¯re out there! ¨C , petted and cuddled her cat Mister Scuttlebutt; and, probably most of all, procrastinated on doing her homework¡­


    This was also where she went to school from, and then returned to. Zoe¡¯s home was where her grandmother did her friday nights ¡°with the girls,¡± they called it ¡°the swinging sixties.¡± It was where grandma waited for Zoe with homemade baked goods, these bite-sized balls of raw dough that she fried on a pan with onions. It was where grandma did everything ¡­ and now it was all suddenly gone?


    ¡°Was it even ever real?¡± Zoe silently wondered in horror. ¡°For it to have ever been real, how could it be destroyed so quickly? How could it be gone in the blink of an eye?¡±


    ¡°Zoe, Zoe. How long are you going to be like this?¡± Zoe¡¯s father spoke through her emotional-stupor on day three which in reality manifested as him talking through her closed door.


    She had barricaded herself in his ¡°study.¡± A room with a desk, computer, empty filing cabinet, and a small bookshelf.


    ¡°Your mother¡¯s worried about you¡­I¡¯m worried about you. You can sleep in my room. I can sleep on the couch in the living room, like I told you when you first got here.¡± Zoe might have felt an internal wince if she were not so numb; but, in truth, nothing touched her.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, just¡­come out.¡±Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.


    ¡°It¡¯s the first selfless thing he¡¯s done,¡± she thought to herself bitterly. Zoe was not a fan of her father ¨C if she did think of him, she thought of him as ¡°Father-Irrelavant.¡± An honory title which was more than he deserved.


    ¡°No.¡± She replied.


    ¡°Come on. I want to help you.¡± ¨C That was a lie.


    ¡°You want to help yourself,¡± Zoe snapped back.


    ¡°I care about you,¡± he said with softer tone. He did. She was his daughter in the end, whether or not he was a self-indulgent ¡°pig¡± and tended to put his own needs above the needs of others.


    ¡°I hate you,¡± she thought and voiced: ¡°Leave me alone!¡±


    Fustration buiding up in the father¡¯s tone: ¡°You know you should be happy those officers didn¡¯t press charges against you for assaulting them! Imagine ¨C¡±


    He cut himself off but then, ensorcelled to his own affective currents, finished the train of thought.


    ¡°Imagine how much trouble that would have caused me! A teenage daughter in jail with a record.¡±


    Zoe went to put a pillow over her head but then in a fit of rage threw it at the door. It was the first concrete bodily expression she had in a while ¨C her body felt foreign to her.


    Thud. Cotton pillow meets hollow door.


    ¡°Okay, okay. I¡¯m sorry¡­¡± After a moment¡¯s pause, ¡°you can come out when you¡¯re ready. Just let me take care of you. This isn¡¯t normal.¡±


    Several hours passed by with Zoe doing absolutely nothing except the constant cycle of thoughts and memories she did not know how to stop. She had gotten all the supplies she needed ¨C snacks, pillows, blanket, phone charger ¨C in the middle of the night, purposely while her father was asleep, when she first arrived to minimize contact with him.


    Zoe¡¯s phone vibrated and chimed. It was Zack, arguably her only school friend she had met in homeroom by virtue of proximity.


    He said he was going to bring her over her homework. ¡°That¡¯s not what friends are for!¡± She groaned. ¡°You should be helping me break out of this prison ¨C not building me a new one!! I don¡¯t care about school!¡±


    She did at least wonder what news he would bring.


    The night Zoe was in hysterics and was forcefully removed from the hospital room. She realized she had completely forgotten about Mister Scuttlebutt!! Who would feed him and take care of him?!


    Zoe had messaged Zack that night and he said he would go feed him though he had never been to her house before. She did not think much of the issue and felt lucky to have him.


    Zoe contemplated bringing Mister Scuttlebutt to her father¡¯s but she had no intention in staying with Father-Irrelevant; and, he, true to his self-centered nature never pressed the issue. He probably forgot the cat existed!


    ¡°Scuttles must be so lonely,¡± Zoe thought to herself, accosted by the experience of a now harrowing and ruptured world without her grandma.


    Never fully realizing she was talking about herself in clandestine form; refusing to contemplate and hold in consiousness a world without her bright light.


    ¡°Maybe I should just bring him here after all,¡± Zoe sighed with deep resignation. This mental resignation soon turned to a full-bodied psycho-physical resignation and Zoe gently drifted off to sleep.

 Father-Irrelevant pt 2

    ¡°Maybe I should just bring him here after all,¡± Zoe sighed with deep resignation. This mental resignation soon turned to a full-bodied psycho-physical resignation and Zoe gently drifted off to sleep.


    It was not long into this quietitude that Zoe had recedded to when she was woken up with an abrupt knock on the door.


    ¡°Zoe,¡± her father spoke through the door. ¡°There¡¯s some boy here to see you,¡± uncertainity and indifference battling it out in the inflections of the man¡¯s voice.


    ¡°What?¡± Zoe said half alarm half confused as she was regaining footing in the material world, beginning to remember where she was and why. ¡°Is it possible to channel the oblivion of sleep consciously?¡± She wordlessly wondered in the depths of her being. Grogginess still upon her.


    ¡°He said his name is Zack and that he brought you homework from school.¡± Then her father added, ¡°He¡¯s not your boyfriend is he?¡±


    An inextinguishable silent rage began boiling in the pits of Zoe¡¯s abdomen.


    ¡°You don¡¯t get to ask me that!!¡± It raged. As if years of neglectful fatherhood and absentee-parentism had earned the right to ask such questions.


    Zoe got off the bed frantic, as if the next thing she needed to worry about was boys and homework. Her unprocessed rage now turning to Zack for bringing such a trivial thing ¨C she did not see herself returning to school because she did not see herself returning to the life she had experienced annihilated into smitherians; and, yet, she somehow sensed her grandma¡¯s presence too. As if her actual parental guardian Mrs. Riverbocker ¨C ¡°gram¡± ¨C never left.


    Zoe sped past the door half-dressed. Not engaging Father-Irrelevant at all. In her mind, ready to hiss at him like a feline in unfamiliar territory.


    She walked to the doorway where she greeted Zack with an abrupt swing of the door that generated light g-force winds that dissipated just as quickly as they had been born. He looked understandably startled. Zoe in a tank top and shorts also challenged the 14-year-old boy¡¯s bravado.


    ¡°What?¡± She rudely exclaimed to her only friend.


    Zachary was momentarily silent. ¡°Nothing ¡­ Hey to you too,¡± he added on half-heartedly.


    ¡°So what¡¯s going on?¡± Zack said at the door.Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    ¡°Just follow me,¡± Zoe said with uncharacteristic determination ¨C usually she was the frightened dreamy-eyed lamb, not the hungry conquering lion.


    They walked to Zoe¡¯s Dad¡¯s garage.


    Zack felt even weirder now.


    Finally Zoe commented, ¡°I¡¯m sorry if I¡¯m being short with you. I just have a lot on my plate right. Actually, I don¡¯t really have a plate right now ¨C if that makes sense?¡± A question that was not a question. A statement that did not want to be stated.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. I get it. Life is tough¡­¡±


    Zoe jumped up to hug Zack, ¡°Than you so much for taking care of Mister Scuttlebutt!¡±


    It was the first time they had really hugged.


    ¡°Yeah about that¡­¡± Zack muttered.


    Zoe oblivious, ¡°I just can¡¯t stay with my dad right now. He¡¯s so immature. I can¡¯t stand him.¡±


    Zoe eyeing Zack¡¯s weird, ¡°what?¡± She said with fright.


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing. I just had to break into your house.¡±


    Zoe let out a sigh of relief.


    ¡°That¡¯s not ¨C¡± Zack began before Zoe talked over him. ¡°I thought something happened to Mister Scuttlebutt. Please don¡¯t scare me like that again.¡± She ended her sentence in a very flat and very dead tone.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to,¡± Zack getting frustrated, ¡°Look you¡¯re in shorts, you¡¯re swinging doors and talking over me! This isn¡¯t like you!¡±


    Zoe was still trying to piece together what her in shorts had to do anything, clueless.


    Zack was in a light bout of inner turmoil or dysregulated nervous energy, all the new stimuli was a lot to bear for a boy ¨C that like Zoe ¨C never learned to bear anything at all.


    Zoe¡¯s dad finally popped his head into the garage ¨C ¡°so what¡¯s going on here?¡±


    Zoe almost shouted irate, ¡°Not him!¡±


    ¡°Not in my house!!¡± Benny, Zoe¡¯s dad, snapped back.


    ¡°Ughh, nothing. Mister Zoe¡¯s Dad, sir.¡± Zack replied.


    ¡°Ughh, yes, of course. Mister Zoe¡¯s Dad, sir.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to reply to everything he says¡±


    Zoe¡¯s dad now walked in full-bodied into the garage from his preceding floating-head status.


    ¡°You can call me Benjamin.¡±


    ¡°Yes, Mister Zoe¡¯s ¨C Benjamin sir,¡± Zack fumbled together.


    ¡°So who¡¯s this?¡± Benny said to Zoe.


    Zoe¡¯s lungs began to constrict with rage.


    ¡°If you don¡¯t leave I will start calling you Benjamin too!¡±


    ¡°Well, that¡¯s more than you say to me already!¡±


    ¡°And whose fault is that!?¡±


    The argument began. Zack looked at himself like he was invisible. He wanted to help and be the hero and peacemaker but he did not know how, instead he felt a deep sensed of paralysis and learned helplessness.


    ¡°Why is everyone shouting at me!?¡± Zoe began to cry in hysterics. ¡°I just want to be left alone! I just want my grandma back!¡±


    Zoe¡¯s dad with his arms half up ready to hug his hurting child. ¡°I don¡¯t know what you want from me.¡±


    ¡°Just go! It¡¯s what you¡¯re good at!¡±


    A look of an adult¡¯s anger flashed through his face.


    ¡°Okay, if thats what you want I will give you some privacy,¡± and then added in very dominant tone to his daughter ¡°but you and I are going to have a little talk later. You¡¯re the child and I¡¯m the adult. I will help you with this no matter what you may think of me or not.¡±


    Benny put two fingers to his eyes and then pointed the same hand in one-finger fashion at Zack. ¡°And leave the door open.¡± He said as he left the two kids alone.

 The Garage

    Benny put two fingers to his eyes and then pointed the same hand in one-finger fashion at Zack. ¡°And leave the door open.¡± He said as he left the two kids alone.


    Zoe finally erupted and threw a nearby tin can at the doorway. However her father had already finished his self-perceived ¡°parental¡± duties.


    ¡°Now he wants to be father of the year,¡± she angrily commented to Zack.


    ¡°So did you bring it?¡± She added on.


    Zack look confused, ¡°bring what?...¡±


    A moments silence then she blurted out ¨C ¡°the homework!¡±


    Zack look initially confused which then evolved into him looming at Zoe like she was institutionally insane.


    His facial expression non-verbally voiced ¡°what homework??¡± until his mouth finally made it verbally explicit.


    Zoe reached for another tin can. Zack¡¯s eyebrows did more talking, this time a state of alarm. He put his hands out in a ¡°stop¡±-fashion between him and his hurting school friend.


    ¡°No. But i did bring you this¡­¡± Zack reached in his bookbag and gave Zoe a book. Zoe¡¯s eyes conveyed a hidden sense of wonderment with more overt covetous features.


    ¡°Why would I bring you homework?...¡± Zack finaly replied after Zoe had lowered her throwing arm.


    ¡°It¡¯s only been three days and who cares about school anyway? Once all the teachers find out what¡¯s happening they will give you a passing grade just for showing up. It¡¯s only thev ones that think they have something to prove that will test you academically. At least that¡¯s how it was ¨C¡±


    Zoe cut him off, she had not been looking but had been eyeing the book Zack was holding in his hands instead.


    ¡°¡±I¡¯m sorry but I really can¡¯t focus right now.¡± She knew she was being unintentionally rude.


    Her arms reached out in a ¡°give-me¡±-fashion. Zack obliged and she plunged right into the book. Zoe started moving internally in two mental directions. While beginning to inspect the contents of the book, she expicitly wondered about her cat.


    ¡°Do you think Mister Scuttlebutt will be okay?¡±


    Page turning and exploration. Her fingers shifted from running along the center of the old book¡¯s spine to streaming down the table-of-contents.A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you just bring him here?¡± Zack posed the obvious-and-logical question.


    ¡°Because I¡¯m not staying here,¡± she declaratively responded. The certainity of her statement masked the inner realities she felt innervating in her abdomen: ¡°I have no idea what I¡¯m doing in life. In fact, I have no idea how to navigate the world. I¡¯ve never done this before ¨C send help!¡± The rumblings of her insides went on and on.


    Zoe looked up at Zack concerned and sincere and hopeful, ¡°How was he? He¡¯s okay right?¡±


    ¡°Tell me again how he was,¡± Zoe momentarily put the book down.


    A finger locked the page she had been perusing in place.


    ¡°He was fine. I tried to pet him but he looked at me like ¡®why are you even existing? human.¡¯¡± Zack didn¡¯t let Zoe interrupt him this time. ¡°But,¡± he said pointedly, ¡°like I was trying to tell you. I had to climb in through the window. I was worried there was an alarm in place. So I threw some pebbles at your neighbor¡¯s window to see if anyone was home since all the lights were out. And when no one came to the window, I tried opening it without a problem¡­same procedure with your place¡­¡±


    Now Zoe¡¯s eyes looked alarm however not at the fact that Zack was apparantly a spy-in-training but because she had no idea if the house even had an alarmed and how it worked.


    ¡°Do all alarms go straight to the police headquarters?¡± She wondered.


    A feeling of dread and helplessness was setting in her thought space. She did not know how to be an adult, she did not want to be an adult ¨C it all seemed so tiring, like an unceasing flood of activities and responsbilities ¨C ¡°when does one ever get time for themselves?¡± She did not think to ask as the logical end to her thought sequence.


    Zack looked at Zoe who seemed deep in thoought, ¡°but I left food out like you said. So don¡¯t worry.¡± He was sure she was judging him and that he had failed her somehow, that he was inadequate and unworthy of what he knew not.


    In a more defeated tone, Zack added on ¡°but when I stepped away. He went straight to eating. Then after that, he literally ran away like a madman. Like there had been a gunshot or something.¡±


    Zoe put the book down and got up off the floor where she had been sitting native-american style and hugged Zack.


    ¡°Thank you so much,¡± she said gripping him.


    Zoe had never hugged another boy this much more before. Zack had been deprived of such social contact as well.


    He went to put his arms up to lightly push Zoe off of himself but then feeling the heaviness and concreteness of her body stopped in fright and then when he felt overwhelmed even moreso he went to instinctively push her off himself again but she had already finished her hug sequence. Zoe was oblivious to Zack¡¯s inner states and dilemmas.


    ¡°Anyway,¡± she added reaching for the book. ¡°I don¡¯t see it in here.¡±


    Zack felt internally isolated and confused. He was still dwelling on the second hug which he liked quite much but did not ¨C or could not - process for himself this fact. His mind felt numb and ruptured, and that was from such a ¨C objectively speaking ¨C small interaction. Big for him though.


    Zack forced himself to talk, deatching himself from the indigestible boulder in his stomach.


    ¡°I¡¯m not¡­I¡¯m not sure what you hoped to find in there in the first place. Or, really, how you knew it was in the school¡¯s library in the first place.¡±


    ¡°A witch has her secrets,¡± Zoe joked to herself.


    Zoe had been so distraught after the incident in the hospital room she had forgotten the weird dream non-dream she had with her grandmother telling her to look for something.


    ¡°It¡¯s called Mount Dominus and I figured if it was anywhere it would be in here,¡± her lips squiggled sideways.

 The Garage pt 2

    ¡°I still don¡¯t understand how you think a dream, of all things, is going to lead you somewhere.¡±


    ¡°Honestly,¡± he added ¡°I don¡¯t even understand what the dream meant.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know either. That¡¯s why i wanted to look it up here.¡± She waved the book as if he had not seen it whilst sitting down on the floor again.


    Zack pulled out his phone and read Zoe¡¯s text outloud: ¡°Yes it was a dream. She told me I had to find ¡®Hal¡¯ to climb ¡®Mount Dominus¡¯ where I could only see the ¡®Valley of Depths¡¯ the top and then I had to travel there to smash the ¡®Crystal of Gibralator¡¯.¡±


    Zack did not read her second following message, ¡°I remembered!! I remembered!!¡± He did not understand her text then nor now, and did not broach the question.


    Zoe read the title of the book outload to the room which had an audience of one: Zack. ¡°Magical Places and Where to Find Them: An Encyclepedia of Imaginary Locations in Contemporary Fiction and Antiquitiy Writings by Herbert Groover, Psy. D.¡±


    ¡°What does Psy. D. mean?¡± Zack said devilishy curious.


    Zoe relied with a shrug of the shoulders.


    ¡°Have you tried looking in an actual geography book?¡± Zack the Brainiac asked, motioning for Zoe to let him look in the book. He was becoming more and more curious with Zoe¡¯s quest.


    ¡°I mean, yeah. I searched online¡­¡± She defended herself.


    ¡°Yes,¡± he lectured ¡°but most mountains have multiple names for their smaller ranges. What if ¡®Mount Dominus¡¯ is one of the smaller peaks?¡±


    ¡°What? Yeah, I had considered that.¡± Zoe spoke in lies.


    Zack visibly frowned in frustration.


    ¡°Okay, okay. I didn¡¯t know that.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m just trying to help.¡±


    ¡°I know, I know. I really appreciate the support right now. I just don¡¯t feel like it¡¯s a physical place. It feels more magical, more ¡®inner,¡¯¡± Zoe squiggled together two fingers simultaneously in both hands.If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    ¡°I just have this invisible feeling, it feels like there¡¯s this invisible compass pointing the way. And it¡¯s only pointing, nothing¡¯s moving, and only you can move yourself. But there¡¯s a path forward, a clearing for you to take.¡±


    Zack had zoned out when Zoe began to talk about feelings and inner-body phenomena.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± he thoughtlessly replied, ¡°water takes the path of least resistance.¡±


    ¡°Exactly!¡± Zoe said, happy to be understood on what to her was a complex and foreign subject. The interstitial space of life is foreign to us until we begin to penetrate into it and live from it. Then it is just a stepping stone to even greater mysteries ¨C you coud call it, an odyssey of consciousness.


    ¡°I knew you¡¯d understand! You¡¯ve always been so smart!!¡± Enthusiasm pouring outof Zoe and her momentarily forgotten crushed heart.


    Zack blushed.


    Zoe now lunged on him for a third hug. It was, in a way, becoming easier for him to bear ¨C but Zack was not sure if it was not the familiar numbness reasserting its hegemony on his emotional life.


    He did not know what he was feeling but he knew it was a novel experience he partially wanted more of because it made him feel different. Like he did not have to be Zack anymore but could become someone else. Someone perhaps maturer or stronger or ¡°taller.¡±


    It was at this juncture that Zoe¡¯s father had walked in on the two kids.


    Benjamin feigning coughs, ¡°ahh-hum, ahh-hum.¡±


    Zack¡¯s stomach jumped up into his throat. He let go of Zoe though he had not really been gripping her much to begin with during this interaction.


    Zoe did not let go of Zack instead screamed at her father ¡°what?!¡± while locking him tighter into her arms.


    Zack was definitely overcome with numbness if he had not experienced it before.


    ¡°Nothing,¡± Benjamin said. ¡°It¡¯s time to go.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not a nothing. That¡¯s a something,¡± Zoe began to argue with her father.


    Benny ignored her, pointing at the door.


    ¡°Ughh. Sorry sir.¡± Zack finally replied, unpeeling himself from Zoe¡¯s grip with all the nimblness and dexterity of a housecat.


    ¡°I told you two you only had 30 minutes.¡±


    ¡°No you didn¡¯t!¡±


    ¡°Yes he did,¡± Zack said looing alarmed at Zoe. He didn¡¯t want Zoe¡¯s father to think he was a bad influence and then never see her again.


    ¡°Dad!!¡± Zoe shouted in protestations. She hated that word and had not used it in a long time. Her father who she only saw infrequently though they lived in the same city.


    ¡°Okay, well, Zoe,¡± Zack said in mechanical tone. ¡°I will be seeing you.¡±


    Zoe gave him a look that was an amalgamation of confusion, betrayal, and ¡®w-t-f.¡¯ She wanted reinforcements.


    ¡°So I am your father,¡± Benjamin quipped.


    ¡°Not today. Not never.¡± She silently brooded.


    She let go of the will to try and tell him they were not done. She knew it was hopeless.


    ¡°Okay, Zoe, take care,¡± Zack continued mechanically and wide-eyed, like he was being forced to walk the plank on a pirate ship in the middle of a sea barren of civilization. He patted her awkwardly on the shoulder.


    Zoe¡¯s confusion and irritation escalated into anger.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know why he¡¯s so weird sometimes,¡± she thought about Zack.


    Zack reached for his bookbag and headed out the door.


    Zoe continued her continued her protestationssilently with menancing glances between the both of them.


    ¡°And this is exactly why I can¡¯t stay here,¡± she thought.

 As Above So Below

    ¡°And this is exactly why I can¡¯t stay here,¡± she thought.


    ¡°This is why I have to find the answer in the book.¡±


    ¡°To move out, to help grandma, to take care of Mister Scuttles ¨C everyone¡¯s depending on me.¡±


    She grabbed her copy of Magical Places and Where to Find Them and with a warrior-like determination proceeded to her room. She went through the hallway then up the stairs whereupon her ¡°father¡± magically made his entrance on the bottom of the staircase after her ascent.


    ¡°Zoe!! Zoe!!¡±


    The warrior continued moving forward and with a child-like dependence hoped he did not purse her. His words receded to the background as she entered her room and locked the door. She also tried to bar him from her thoughts.


    However the vague-emotional apphrenhension persisted that this was not her room. Not her space. She kept dwelling on how a 14-year-old is supposed to provide for themselves, where alarm signals really go, and who invented the concepts of rent and private-property in the first place.


    She felt physically sick though also numb, tired, and hypervigilant.


    She layed down into her bed and doved back into the book Zack had brought her. She felt like it contained almost a secret mystical energy of sorts though when she tried to read its contents it felt rather dry and boring ¨C as if the secrets of the universe were locked away behind these at times analytical and wall-of-texts entries and she lacked the key unfasten this abrasive and barring lock.


    She put two fingers to her temple, trying to focus, but she could still feel her nerves and the uncertainity of the world all around her.


    She searched for the letter ¡°M¡± category and then ¡°D.¡± The book in encyclopedia format had its entries alphabetisized.


    ¡°What if Zack is right?¡± Zoe¡¯s thoughts drifted off again. ¡°What if it is a real place? What if this is the wrong book for me?¡±


    She interrupted her search looking through the entries in the book to observe the front cover. There was a fanatastical picture. It showed a series of mountains with islands floating above them. Huge and thick roots of foilage and fauna descended into spirals surrounded by mists from the bottoms of the floating islands to the tops of the winter-scaped mountains. It all looked so mystical, like one big mystical-ecosystem, like the self-enclosed worlds in glass-bottle terrariums ¨C nature had creeped-in into a manmade artiface, found an equilibrium, then asserted a muted dominance that left one in wonder at the mysterious-and-magical outgrowth.


    If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    Zoe had not noticed it at first, having been so enraptured in the worlds-above and worlds-below but in the foreground of the picture was a small forest with a cutout village dwelling squarely in the center. She could not but help but wonder if this was a world of peace, as she secretly hoped it was such a place.


    ¡°I hope the villagers are happy.¡± She sighed.


    She did not know what to do or how to proceed. The cover felt like it had no answers for her yet called to her. The contents of the book meanwhile felt impenetrable, were assumed to have the answers, and yet did not interest her.


    She forced herself to scroll through the book once more, now under the category ¡°B.¡±


    ¡°Barnacle Bay,¡± caught her eye. ¡°Home of the world¡¯s first talking sponge and world¡¯s smartest starfish.¡±


    That was not it ¨C though it seemed oddly familiar.


    Zoe skipped ahead to read the end of the entry, ¡°published in 1907 in the Elias Chronicles by Roger Sherpader.¡±


    ¡°Nope that¡¯s not it.¡± She said under her breath.


    Zoe skipped forward a few more pages in the book. She was back in the ¡°D¡± section though she felt like she had perused it thoroughly with enough focus to consider it read¡­


    She forced herself to read it more thoroughly this time.


    ¡°Damnation Park? ¨C Nope.¡±


    ¡°Dominion Orowvora? Nope, but it sounded super interesting.¡±


    ¡°Duertermy Zigla? ¡­ I don¡¯t even know how to pronounce that!¡±


    She sighed again. Zoe was what you might call a notorious mis-pronouncer. Her first week of high-school she had accidently while reading to the class mispronounced ¡°organism¡± as ¡°orgasm¡± ¨C which of course sounded wrong to her but, ¡°hey, it¡¯s a textbook¡± she reasoned ¨C and lets just say. She kept to herself more so than usual after that cheek-blushing incident and she made ¡°friends¡± through osmosis like Zack.


    Zoe violently flipped a big chunk of the book. ¡°Stupid ¡®doer-thermal¡¯,¡± she mumbled.


    She found herself in the ¡°T¡± section.


    ¡°Taratarus ¨C a pit in the afterlife regions of the ancient Greeks. It was believed to house the profane elements of the Kosmos, compared with the Elysian Fields which gave remembrance to the sacred, and spiritual gaeity.¡±


    She continued reading the entry, ¡°The contemporary gods of ancient Greek cults cast the previous generation of divine beings into this realm. The first written record, now extant, is mentioned in Tacitus which cites clay tablet from 907 B.C., itself attributed to the mathematician, poet, and craftsman Heiphastous of Zagria.¡±


    ¡°Ughh, no.¡±


    ¡°I hope the people of Zagria lived peaceful and happy lives,¡± she stubbornly thought as she clo


    sed the book with a hard thump.

 The Warbird and the Big Dream

    ¡°I hope the people of Zagria lived peaceful and happy lives,¡± she stubbornly thought as she closed the book with a hard thump.


    She had hoped to get some ¡°sort of clue at least.¡± She did not fully expect to find a ¡°Mount Dominus¡± entry in the book but she had secretly hoped it would have been mentioned tangently in another entry. However this did not prove to be the case with her intensive scanning session.


    She grew dismayed at the thought of having to single-handedly read all the individual entries ¨C it felt like an immense labor.


    She considered enlisting Zack for this endeavor but somehow felt there would always be thought if anyone but her read it ¨C this was her quest after all. Bequeathed to her by her grandma.


    She had to find a way to show up for it.


    Zoe¡¯s mind grew more and more cluttered with thoughts and as she slowly drifted off to sleep she had the revalotory but passive thought that maybe she could contact the auhor or the publisher or however grownups navigated the world. She wondered how so many individual ¡°adult¡± islands never collided with each other yet managed to stay together to form a so-called ¡°society¡±.


    She unknowingly closed her eyes and in this manner the individualized modicum of spirit that was Zoe¡¯s consciousness receded into the cosmic ether and immersed itself in world-above and worlds-below.


    That night Zoe had a series of very vivid and turbulent dreams. If the dreams had been presented to a soul inhabited the cultural setting of tribesmanship and clans. The inhabitor of such a world would have been said to have received a ¡°big dream/¡±


    Big dreams are the sort of oneiric activity that is constellated in one individual but really intended for a group of people because the symbolic elements with which the dream is fastened are collective-cultural elements not personal-signifying ones.


    The visual dream was more than a window into the psychic realm. A sphere of life that houses the life of psyche. Rather it was a prophet¡¯s-of-old vision that recounted the past events of the world and build a bridge symbolically, and psychically, towards new and yet-unseen and unknown realities.


    The dream boulderized into dialectical thought could be describbed as thus:


    Zoe was her current self but she was trapped in a closet. She banged and banged until, finally, the door swung open. She knew why she had to get out of the closet because it had a hole that, in fact, was a portal to another realm. Zoe desperately did not want to go through the portal-hole because the closer she got to it the more immense dread she experienced.


    Dream-Zoe was convinced a bed of spikes lay at the end of the portal-hole and that there was no safe way to get through to the end. As she stumbled out of the closet, post door-swing, clothes that had been hanging on the door¡¯s interior fell all over Zoe, covering her face and only escalating her feelings of latent terror.


    She quickly, in this condition, tripped over her foot. And now, locked in a downward spiral of more fright, she clawed at her masked face to remove all its exterior trappings Having unveiled her vision thus, at this interval the inadequately-lit wall of the room she was facing exploded right in front of her. Revealing a huge entrance in an otherwise small apartment she was not familiar with.


    The explosion of external forces removing the wall gave way to a wonderous-picture-esque landscape. Both surreal and sublime as far as the eye could see, divine blue skies adorned the inner lightbulbs of her eyes. Majestic clouds that themselves gave way to mountaintops far and away. Rivaled only by the radiance of the Sun, sometimes in mystic literature called the ¡°perfect planet.¡±


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    The clouds which seemed so close, the landscape which seemed so vivid seemed to capture the immensity of time and space in a way the conceptual mind could not compreend but was continually disarmed into fathomless wonderment.


    This vista and sumptous feast for the inner eyes of the soul gave way to a man. An Eagle-Man. A Warbird. A humanoid, cognizant, spiritual creature that was more eagle than man yet contained more rrefinement and cultue than any one person. It was, in a sense, the humanity of man.


    This was Zoe¡¯s spirit-self, also sometimes referred to as one¡¯s solar-self.


    It seemed as if he were the creator of worlds, or knew who was. A divine being from another realm far greater and more distant than the material realm ever surmised to the physical senses.


    The Eagle-Man outstretched his hand to Zoe while his warhammer was firmly grasped in his other talon-like hand. A reaving sickle, currently stored away, adorned his waistbelt.


    Zoe did not know why but she immediately without thought or hesitation jumped to this solar self. Nothing obstructed her anymore and she only felt peace and gratitude, as if all the negative disparate elements of her emotional economy could not pentratre through his inner-invisible forcefield, or if you like, his ¡°solar atmosphere.¡±


    Zoe jumped with all the might of an action-movie sequence such as when one jumps from an immense crumbling building into a helicopter of salvation. Eagle-Man gripped Zoe firmly while still grasping his warhammer and they began to fly through the seven heavenly worlds.


    Soaring through the skies, far-and-wide, the immense blue-white landscape gave way to a far dark and unpleasant realm. One filled with the psychic residue of envy and hatred. It was dark-green, tired-looking, barren, and filled with craters and fissures.


    It was the remnants of a dried up ocean.


    There, Zoe and Eagle-Man, ended their flight and landed in front of an abandoned temple.


    It was short and stout, unconsciously reminiscent of where Zoe spent the better part of her weekdays in the dayworld. The small outer facade of the derelict temple gave way to an immeasurably large inward space, filled with an endless number of chambers.


    Zoe immediately knew what this place was though she had never been there before. Sh sensed it with an inner knowing more resolved than with which the strength we draw breath, and she sensed it faster than lightning and heat could rip open the air to display naked space.


    The central, pillared, floor they stood on seemed to be several football fields long and that was only one floor. There were many many many more such floors in this vast cosmic endeavor.


    ¡°This is the Library of Alexanderia?¡± Zoe silently thought outloud. It felt as if her min and consciousness were two separate beings and as if the movements of her mind were direted with a puppeteers force ¨C and, yet, this external godforce felt like it was her own; or, rather, she was its own. The part belongs to the whole, after all.


    The Eagle-Man walked further into this cosmic embellishment of history. He spoke to Zoe without using words; the words of a god can only ever be conveyed in material silence; the Word of god can only ever be heard in true Silence.


    Zoe experienced his thoughts simultaneously all around her yet in equally in her mind, as if It and She were one being ¨C which in truth, they were.


    ¡°This is the temple of Alexandrine. All the world¡¯s knowledge is stored here. In your realm, it is also sometimes referred to as the ¡®Akashic Fields.¡¯ An infinite source of knowing.


    ¡°The geniuses of your world are all connected here, stretching back many miliennia. They draw their power, creativity, and inspiration from this place though they know it not. When an insight of truth or knowledge strikes their mind like lightning it is divested to them not from nothing but from this pre-archetypal functioning ground.


    ¡°In fact. This place sustains all of human-animal life. The driving-force of ¡®insticnct¡¯ and ¡®intuition¡¯ gains its momentum from this cosmic project as well.¡±


    Zoe did not ask question because she already knew all this instrinsically, invisibly, before Eagle-Man had articulated it to her. She knew what and ¡®who¡¯ it was the moment she stepped foot in the cosmic structure ¨C as if she had been her a thousand times but it was only the first time here present-earthly-incarnated self stepped foot here.


    Then Zoe did ask a question, ¡°Why am I here?¡±


    ¡°Follow me, combatant.¡±


    Zoe whether as her dream-ego dream-self or her earthly-incarnated self did not like that word one bit. She obliged her spiritual-master, her god or god-self form, though


    she would not think to call him that.

 Warbird and the Big Dream pt 2

    ¡°Follow me, combatant.¡±


    Zoe whether as her dream-ego dream-self or her earthly-incarnated self did not like that word one bit. She obliged her spiritual-master, her god or god-self form, though she would not think to call him that.


    Zoe pressed on.


    ¡°But why am I here? Who are you?¡± She began to pester him with all the feverish-ness of awe that these once holy grounds generated in her.


    He effortlessly ignored her and continued his Eagle-Man strides forward, as if he were the only one walking in this self-enclosed space.


    She followed him with eyes ajar until she caught up to his side, forgetting to shout ¡°wait!¡± from her impulsive dash forward. She then walked in equal pace with him. She stopped when he stopped.


    His magnificient folded wings kept stealing Zoe¡¯s attention. She would at times forget to look around at her surroundings with how much this angelic-solar being mesmerized her. He was a bird of war after all. His fierce talons of ebony somehow entrapped and reflected light in equal measure.


    One of Eagle-Man¡¯s wings folded-in was the length of Zoe shoulder-to-shoulder ¨C and Zoe was what her mother and grandmother would endearingly call a ¡°big-boned girl.¡±


    She could not imagine how big his actual wingspan was nor the powerful gusts generated during his ascent though she had caught some flurries of his generated winds when they had landed.


    Again and again Zoe found herself entranced with her higher self.


    ¡°Who are you?¡± She asked him more than once as they walked through the temle¡¯s halls. There was, in truth, not much to look at given its current vacant status.


    She expected him to be angry with her inquisitiveness but he remained silent and unaffected ¨C ¡°just eagle,¡± she could not help but joke.


    ¡°The time for discourse is nigh,¡± he communicated to her mind-to-mind. ¡°Now open this stone doorway!¡± He pointed with a powerful outstretched hand, his folded-wings lightly fluttered about in closed movement.


    Zoe had not even realized they had stopped moving right in front of a stone slab that occulded some inward dwelling of the temple.


    ¡°But why? What is this place?¡± She knew the answer to the second question.


    Zoe felt tired from her rollercoaster of emotions, from fright and terror in the small apartment to elation and expansion during the wonderous flight to tired and inexplicable sadness when she had touched-back down in her spiritual home.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong with this place?!¡± Zoe demanded to know.


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    ¡°I can tell there had once been a vast ocean here teeming with life. Why is everything dead?!¡±


    Zoe grew frustrated with the Eagle-Man¡¯s effortless silence. It was somehow unwilled and unoffensive in equal measure. It¡¯s unassumedness frustrated her further and she finally did as she was told and push the big square engraved rock that blocked the way inside.


    She did want answers after all but nothing happened. There was an engraved ancient stoic face at the center of the slab. She tried to use it as leverage to better grip and push this weight of matter but to no avail.


    ¡°It¡¯s not working!¡±


    ¡°Nothing¡¯s happening.¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± the divine being spoke. She was not sure if that is what he had wanted to happen.


    ¡°Only a human can open this door he told her.¡±


    Zoe grew under the spell of a strange case of dejavu. She realized though they both had stood in place they were now somewhere else in the temple.


    The same doorway blocked the entrance.


    ¡°Is this an effect of the akashic fields or the work of this divine being?¡± She wondered but not for long as there was a strong sense of nausea in her.


    The stone slab gave way to a stone door composed of two very flat individual slabs. The first door had unfurloughed itself to reveal its hidden secondary entrance.


    ¡°So I did open it?¡±


    ¡°Now what?¡± Zoe looked at Eagle-Man and asked.


    ¡°How do you open a door with no knob, keyhole, or hinges?¡±


    She was really hoping he would not tell her to push again though she no idea how that movement would work unless thee ancient cosmic doors folded inwards like the wooden entrance of a mid-Western saloon.


    ¡°Your world is at war, combatant.¡±


    ¡°It is our duty to play our part.¡± The divine being told her. ¡°We must do our utmost, you and I, to fulfill our roles. This is the duty of everyone born from the Tree of Life.¡±


    ¡°The Cosmic Calender is in effect.¡±


    Zoe somehow grew happier and more confused with each passing sentence. She had sensed she had a higher place in the unverse than the chains of mediocrity the mundane world had foisted upon her ¨C yet, in truth, she did not want to enter a full-on war.


    ¡°Can¡¯t we all just live in peace? Kombaya.¡± She wanted to childishly quip.


    He continued, fully aware and ignoring her inner monologue.


    ¡°The world torn between intoxication and the present moment can not survive for much longer in this imbalanced and unhinged state. The past and future versus the here and now. Neither can triumph but only learn to give way to something greater.¡±


    ¡°The one-sided favoring of one position over the other has put the world in turmail and as a result the akashic fields have fallen into ruin and neglect. Heaven is dying, Zoe.¡±


    Zoe¡¯s eyes widened. ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound good¡­¡±


    Zoe spoke without thinking ¨C from an external perspective it looked like Zoe was continually talking to herself since she was the only one talking outloud while Eagle-Man communicated mentally to her.


    ¡°But¡­but. Isn¡¯t ¡®Heaven¡¯ supposed to be immortal or something? That¡¯s why it¡¯s called ¡®Heaven,¡¯ everyone goes there to die.¡± She awkwardly chuckled.


    ¡°Now is not the time for sad remembrances,¡± her higher self told her.


    She knew exactly what he was referring to with his comment.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t mean it like that¡­¡± A silent veil of despondency covered her face.


    ¡°Your grandmother is alive and well, Zoe.¡± He told her.


    A flash of joy shot across her face and left just as abruptly in a moment¡¯s notice.


    ¡°In heaven?¡± She said angrily at her higher form.


    ¡°You have lived a thousand lives, little one.¡±


    ¡°And you will live a thousand more. Nothing is final. Everything is uncertain. This is what it means to be alive.¡±


    Zoe replying back with force and fast as lighting, still not knowing what she was saying but just letting herself talk ¨C ¡°then how is there a Cosmic Calender?!¡±


    ¡°Nothing is certain but I have a role to fulfill? A duty to accomplish??¡±


    ¡°I just want my grandmother back!¡± She began to shout teary eyed.


    ¡°I just want my grandmother back! If you¡¯re so powerful then make her come back!¡±

 Warbird and the Big Dream pt 3

    ¡°Nothing is certain but I have a role to fulfill? A duty to accomplish??¡±


    ¡°I just want my grandmother back!¡± She began to shout teary eyed.


    ¡°I just want my grandmother back! If you¡¯re so powerful then make her come back!¡±


    Silence pervaded the cosmic halls of the temple of Alexandrine, the universe¡¯s little hidden library, as Zoe¡¯s shouts echoed down the empty dimly-lit stone halls.


    ¡°Time moves forward, combatant. That is why I am here manifesting myself into this drea world ¨C to help you press on forward.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to go forward! I want to go back!¡± The 14-year-old child exclaimed.


    ¡°I want to go back to our peaceful little comfort bubble.¡± Hysterics beginning to form in the little one. ¡°I know I complained a lot and things weren¡¯t always great at school or with my parents.¡±


    ¡°-- But I can do better,¡± she spoke ecstatically interrupting herself.


    ¡°I can be a better person. I can be a better Zoe! Just give me a chance!!¡± Zoe broke down into deep sobs.


    And more deep sobbing.


    Then finally a torrent of crying, shrieking, and affective-induced nasal constriction that erupted into her wailing at the recognition of all that she had lost.


    Eagle-Man stood unaffected. Zoe sank to the floor and his mighty wings erupted over her shielding her from the world as grasped her off the cold stone ground.


    ¡°To go back in time is impossible in existence. But we can always choose how to go forward because each and every moment is ever-created anew.¡±


    Zoe could sense the metaphysical warmth that permeated the divine being¡¯s materialization and poured into the world as heat and electro-magnetic radiation. Zoe could feel his pure light as he held her.


    ¡°The secret of the universe, combatant, is that there is no undyng present moment. Evil is just a flickering shadow on a wall and those who identify with it have aligned themselves with the movements of a shadow. And good, ¡®eternity,¡¯ the present moment are equally in-time and thus also not real.¡±


    ¡°I say all this to you so you can understand you have lost nothing.¡± Zoe¡¯s higher self told her as he held her in her arms.


    ¡°You have always been, and you will always continue to be, whether or not you are incarnated on earth, I am excarnated in ¡®Heaven,¡¯ or any of your other forms are present in the infinitude of the realms of existence¡­Please try and find comfort in this.¡±


    The faint tendrils of darkness circling Zoe¡¯s little heart began to fade away.


    He put her down as Zoe began to appear as she were regaining composure. Still nothing but silence emanated from Zoe after the eruption of her wailing and affective-body pierced through into consciousness.


    Zoe for the first-time spoke mentally to her higher self though she knew nit how. ¡°I feel so peaceful¡­¡±


    ¡°Peace is your natural state, combatant. As it is mine.¡±


    ¡°Will you please stop calling me that¡­¡± Zoe spoke softly mentally to him.


    ¡°I really don¡¯t like that word. Or anything to do with ¡®strife¡¯.¡± She threw in a high-vocabulary word encase it was true she could not escape time and would-be forced to take the dreaded standardized tests that loomed over all student¡¯s heads.


    ¡°I only try to communicate as directly to you as possible.¡±


    ¡°If you saw me in the material realm we would present as one to the universe, and you would see the world as it is ¨C through my eyes ¨C made of light and coval with cosmic etheric currents. Ordinary representation would no longer be at the forefront of consciousness.¡±


    ¡°You can put me down now.¡± Zoe said with a heartfelt sigh of recognition, gratitude, and peace. She hugged the big man-beast solar-entity, whatever he was. She was grateful she had someone at her side no matter who it was.


    Eagle-Man¡¯s wings folded into their resting position and he gently lowered Zoe to ground as her feet kissed the earth. Composure, resilience, and the perenial fight against gravitation soon took hold once more of Zoe¡¯s being.


    ¡°I call you combatant because in your incarnated form you are in opposition to the external forces. You call them the ¡®forces of evil¡¯. Strictly speaking they are just completing their own activity. They¡¯re not really evil so much as they are destructive for the human being. That is why it is imperative you become aware of them and begin to cognize them. Insodoing you will release more and more of me into your world. You will incarnate the heavenly sphere into the dead earth, once more filling it with life.¡±


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    ¡°Do you understand little one? The earth is dead because it is lacking in the heavenly principle. And the heavenly principle is constantly being subdued by the forces of opposition or the external forces.¡±


    Zoe listened deeply but the more she listened the more she became attuned with the waves of peace emanating from her being. She felt like it did not matter what her higher self told her as long as she was continually connected to it she woud find peace.


    Zoe remained silent. She looked at the moved stone slab, the new inner-two-door slab, at Eagle-Man.


    ¡°Is this really just a dream?¡± Dream-Zoe wondered to herself.


    ¡°It feels more alive and real and immediate than earthly living ever did.¡±


    Zoe commented inwardly to her mental self Eagle-Man, ¡°can I ask you something?¡±


    ¡°Lets say I do whatever you want me to do,¡± Zoe felt a hidden-inner surging of maturity blossoming in her own metaphysical soul. The source of her and Eagle-Man¡¯s existence.


    ¡°Then what? More ¡®existence¡¯? More turmoil? More death? When does it end?¡±


    Eagle-Man drew his reaving-hand scythe in his open hand and when the weapon drew near its sister-armament the warhammer the two began to glow with an orange heat.


    ¡°Do you see Zoe?¡±


    Zoe returned to her normal wide-eyed alarmed-looking self.


    ¡°This is the energy of heaven. The more you spiritualize the negative earth and inanimate matter. The more this energy is re-converted into its holy form: pure light. It is the destiny of all things in existence to re-enter the spiritualization process and become consecrated to the divine once more.¡±


    He added, ¡°even evil will one day become holy once it is stripped of its negative filth. Nothing is excluded from becoming godforce once more.¡±


    Zoe could feel herself tiring from the unfurling of the secret¡¯s of the universe. It seemed like the more she asked the less she understood though everything seemed to be painfully obvious and explicit once brought into the screen or display of her consciousness.


    It¡¯s not how she expected the secrets of the divine to go¡­she imagined fireworks and fairytale endings instead the world just felt so much more infinitely deep.


    Zoe moved around the inner temple, taking it in a way she had not done so before while mesmerized with the god in her.


    Flickering flames revealed the contents of cavernous hallways, with the central chamber of pillared walkways around the bend. Shelves of derelict scrolls. Wooden turn-wheels with flat inward surfaces that allowed scholars to place one book on each flat surface inside the wheel and rotate the wheel upwards and downwards thus one could read-through and access multiple physical books and scrolls at once.


    Zoe got the impression there was even a secret magic room ¨C ¡°heck, probably a secret magic floor!¡± She joked to herself.


    As Zoe began to be filled with the thoughts of life once more or living thinking, thinking-consciousness quickened with spirit and incorporeal life. She realized a protrusion in the form of an engraving on the first stone slab she had not noticed before.


    She had not noticed it before because it had not been there.


    ¡°Umm, I¡¯m pretty sure this wasn¡¯t here before.¡± The young girl commented to the god.


    Under the stoic face that decorated the center of the first stone slab Zoe saw a line of text.


    It read, inscribed into stone: ¡°Con-ex Omon Panex¡±


    Zoe rubbed her hand along the stone surface as if to verify it was real. She turned externally to her godself to verify its contents with him but before she could pose the obvious question of ¡°what do you think it means?¡±


    Zoe felt the hard stone gently shifting under her fingertips.


    Now it read, ¡°Cansha Om Pansha¡±


    Zoe meant pull away in fright at the shifting stone, but something deeper in her, kept her physically connected it it. Almost like a cosmic or karmic magnetic field pulling her hand to it in wonderous fascination.


    ¡°It means we are done here, earth-self.¡±


    ¡°If you could have opened the second door, you would have been able to.¡±


    ¡°But I didn¡¯t really try, did I?¡± Zoe began to indignantly protest. However she realized Eagle-Man was pointing at the second stone doorway with his warhammer hand and the same text repeated itself there carved into stone.


    The same message now once again changed characters as Zoe¡¯s hand stayed attached to it.


    ¡°Go, stranger, scatter!¡±


    Zoe grew disgruntled, ¡°who are you calling stranger?!¡± She wanted to argue with the mysterious rock.


    ¡°It means ¡®profane,¡¯¡± Eagle-Man told her. ¡°It is saying if you had been able to receive these mysteries you would have.¡±


    Zoe¡¯s round of initiation into the divine mysteries of the cosmos and really ¡°god¡± were coming to an end.


    It was an end that bore in itself a new beginning. Every metaphysical soul is the unmanifested expression of something that has no beginning and has no end. A principle that is untouched by anything yet touches everything; and, first-principles that emanate from this principle themselves extend in perpetuity.


    Human folk call this principle of completeness ¡°god¡± and the first principles that emanate from it are non-things such as ¡°light,¡± ¡°life,¡± and ¡°truth.¡± Second principles are things like gods and world-class demons, et cetera.


    When one is re-ascending the ladder of divine principles one is always limited by what they themselves have apprended and, insodoing, is limited to that worldview.


    The karmic stone was saying Zoe had reached the limits of the lower principles she could perceive and apprehend.


    ¡°Am I doomed to suffer more inadequacies?¡± Zoe commented to her highr self. Eagle-Man in turn gave a loud one-syllable chirp which was really the bird-form of a laugh.


    ¡°Surely a 14-year-old girl cannot comprehend god on the first try,¡± and added ¡°if they did all of heaven would be ruled by adolescent girls!¡±


    Zoe got up from kneeling at the stone and threw herself at the beast into a hug.


    ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure that was your idea of a joke,¡± she said with tender hurt.


    ¡°You did ask for emotional relief.¡±


    Zoe laughed out loud. ¡°I see you work on galaxy and comet time! Very slow going¡­¡±


    Eagle-Man did not understand t


    he expression but had access to its intended meaning that Zoe conveyed.

 Warbird and the Big Dream pt 4

    Zoe laughed out loud. ¡°I see you work on galaxy and comet time! Very slow going¡­¡±


    Eagle-Man did not understand the expression but had access to its intended meaning that Zoe conveyed.


    Zoe could hear peals of lightning ripping their way across the barren landscape outside.


    ¡°Come, our work here is done.¡±


    ¡°But what about the second doorway? I didn¡¯t even try and open it really.¡±


    ¡°If you could have, you would have. You are barred from proceeding further, Zoe. The karmic stone says you are not of the same quality as it thus you two are unlike. The profane, or that which is foreign to the circle of completion, is not permitted entry."


    He added in conclusion, "You are a stranger to the stone so it rejects you."


    ¡°But then how do you make progress?¡± Zoe demanded confused.


    ¡°Progress is an illusion, little one. You have lost nothing in this world because that which you call the world is not real. It is a fiction of your sense organs and the power of ''reality'' stamped onto the sensory world draws its power from that which generates consciousness."


    "The ''real'' world, as such, is a reality you have not yet penetrated into. It is the unmanifested plane. The distortion provided by your physical senses eclipses this truth from your eyes."


    "This is why I say to you good is not real, evil is not real. Only that which is before creation is real. This is what our soul has revealed to me."


    "Our soul is an uncreated something."


    Eagle-Man started walking forward and Zoe found herself following him.


    ¡°Wait a minute, but then what¡¯s ¨C this?¡± Zoe started pointing her hands in all directions.


    ¡°Exactly," replied Eagle-Man.


    "This is all there IS. All there ever will be. And all there ever was. There is no present moment, no past moment, or a future moment that is yet to come ... Just THIS."


    "And ''this'' is the exteriorization of a non-this."


    "It is the non-this which is the direct manifestation of the principle of completeness that you call ''god'' and it is this non-this to which we all aspire."


    "It is the unmanifested plane which is not a plane. Do you understand now? "


    Zoe fervently replhed --"No!!"


    "Remember, in trying to understand what I am communicating to you. You will always grasp at non-being, and mis-cognize the issue."


    "That which touches all yet is beyond all has no need of being seen or being grasped. It is complete IN itself."


    Zoe said nothing.


    "This is the prerequisite of all spiritual ''progress,'' earth-child."


    "You have nothing to ascend to, no where to go, nothing to achieve. The true surrender is the realization you are, always have been, and always will be -- home."


    "You never left the court of god. When you realize you are trying to return home to a non-place you never left you will find a great deal of peace."


    Zoe still could not understand the god''s perspective.


    However his referring to peace did resonate with her. She felt it when she intrinsically sensed his pure light.


    Eagle-Man and Zoe returned to the central chamber of the temple. The scrolls and candlesticks that adorned the work areas looked as unused as when Zoe first saw them. They conveyed a secret sadness to her.


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    The two then stepped onto the vestibule of the temple where they had originally entered it.


    Zoe looked out onto the landscape from on high.


    Her eyes followed the hills and peaks and zoomed down into the tiny craters and fissures that marked the valleys down below.


    She tried to imagine a vast ocean filled with life. A community. A city.


    Zoe then observed something she had not noticed before. The temple was located centrally in a much larger crater than the smaller ones that adorned it.


    They were standing right in the center of a very big crater!


    She originally missed this during the wonderment of Eagle-Man''s flight through the spheres of the heavens.


    Zoe could see now that the temple must have been the central hub of all trade and communication and that is why vast empty regions surrounded it on all sides ¨C it had been the world¡¯s largest bazaar!


    Filled with stands and crowds of people as far as the eye can see.


    When Zoe imagined legions of mer-people floating and swimming by in all directions. It finally dawned on her what this place had really been.


    ¡°Is this ¡­ was this? ¡­ could it have been? ¡­ Atlantis!?¡±


    ¡°Correct, combatant.¡±


    ¡°The Atlanteans were a people rooted in magic."


    "Now they are as departed from the fields of life as magic has been erased from your realm.¡±


    Eagle-Man handed a Zoe a scroll.


    ¡°You were supposed to open the second door but could not.¡±


    ¡°...¡±


    Zoe did not reply.


    ¡°I did not come here to open doors. I came here to rescue my grandma. She gave me a mission and I¡¯m going to follow through on it!"


    Now Eagle-Man said nothing.


    The scroll stood between the two of them until Zoe finally grasped it.


    ¡°I want you to understnd something Zoe. You and I are not two different people. I am not an other-you. I am not separate from you. Your world and particularly the people of your epoch are very confused on this point. You look to higher selves for answers they cannot give.


    "Our metaphysical soul wears us as garments as it descends into the worlds of the heavens and earths.¡±


    He continued, ¡°when our soul accesses the higher realms, those purer in quality, it wears robes of light and I AM that robe of light."


    "I am our souls expression as it inserts itself into the realm of the gods. Then when our soul descends further into the most dense regions of creation it wears vehicles made of matter ¨C YOU are that expression of our soul in the material realm."


    "We do our soul¡¯s bidding, not the other way around. We are not here to self-serve, but to soul-serve."


    "When you begin to soul-serve you will feel centered in the universe and find a great deal of meaning everywhere."


    Zoe wanted to agree but she wanted to keep arguing with the solar god in her.


    ¡°Our soul did not come here to save a fleeting shadow, which you call the body; and, our soul did not come here to pay homage to shadowy impulses divined in the depths by impulses which are not it''s own"


    "Our metaphysical soul has entered this chain of non-metaphysical inserts you can higher selves, which includes your physical self, so that it could express itself. In doing so, it brings a realm-of-the-beyond still yet unknown into the world.¡±


    ¡°And the more we assimilate this divine personality, which is not a personality, into our lives. The purer WE become."


    "The soul which lounges in the court of god has no need of purification rights. It is already as pure as the highest.¡±


    Zoe stood unmoved.


    ¡°Then make the pain go away!¡± She shouted n frustration.


    "What kind of stupid soul would let itself be willing crucified into the realms of matter!?"


    "All I feel is pain. Make it go away! Give me a happy life!" The teenage girl said teary eyed to the god.


    ¡°If I did then there would be no ¡®progress¡¯.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s really funny," replied Zoe as darkness veiled her face.


    Zoe threw the scroll that Eagle-Man had given her as far as her physical strength allowed down into the craters.


    Eagle-Man stood unmoved.


    ¡°I cannot take your pain away, dear child. I can only show you where there is light in the world."


    Zoe replied back.


    ¡°There is no direction ¨C the more we do our soul¡¯s bidding the more light there is in the world. Blah blah blah. The less we do our soul¡¯s bidding the more darkness is allowed to rule in the lower realms. Blah blah blah. I was listening! I¡¯m not stupid!!¡±


    ¡°I did not ask for any of this,¡± she told her higher self.


    Eagle-Man responded with the virtue expected of a good god: ¡°I cannot change what has already happened. I can only guide you in the right direction. In OUR direction. Which is not a direction. But a return home. And you get to choose how we get there."


    "You have all the power."


    "You are the co-pilot of your earthly life and when one day you shed this material coat you call your body and its emotional paintings on it''s inner surface you call ''Zoe,'' the incarnated personality."


    "You will generate a new animal body, or perhaps something else -- depending on how much of the truth has shared itself with you -- and go on a new spiritual journey through the realms of creation."


    "You are truly immortal, you need to know that."


    As Zoe was about to complain ¡°I''m free to be a soul-slave you mean!¡± she saw the scroll she had thrown away. Zipping up the temple stairs as if in a sort of reverse-gravity fashion.


    ¡°OH, that is incredibly creepy!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s like some kind of puppy spider!! ¡­ Just please don¡¯t tell me it talks.¡±


    ¡°It does not talk ¡­ yet.¡±


    Zoe almost let out a small laughing smile but was determined to stay grumpy.


    ¡°My highest self is an Eagle-Clown. This is great, this is great.¡± Zoe verbally shouted outloud to no one.


    ¡°It is my understanding humor helps soften the human struggle, combatant. I myself am devoid of humor. I do it to ameliorate your tension.¡±


    Zoe grew more tense ¨C ¡°I¡¯m going to start crying again¡­¡± she hysterically exclaimed.

 Warbird and the Big Dream pt 5

    ¡°It is my understanding humor helps soften the human struggle, combatant. I myself am devoid of humor. I do it to ameliorate your tension.¡±


    Zoe grew more tense ¨C ¡°I¡¯m going to start crying again¡­¡± she hysterically exclaimed.


    ¡°It is time for us to part ways Zenonina. I am being called away to other exploits. Remember what I told you ¡­ when prosperity is afoot. The akashic fields are alive and well. The fields grow from the lifeforce that flows through them. The psychic world then nourished, feeds the inanimate body of the negative earth. This dreamworld is the mirror image or invisible plane of your material corridor."


    "The psychic soil out of which all matter springs is where I have met you here today; and, heaven, the world of pure light with no being is the original proto-form out of which all psychism springs. The world of first activity and divine ideation. The realm out of which mental abstraction is born. It¡¯s all one big cosmic soup.¡±


    Zoe put her fingers in her ears.


    ¡°There¡¯s something you should you know, Mister Ego-nina.¡± Zoe had no idea what she was saying. The scroll having finished its ascent up the stairs sprung up into the air towards Zoe.


    She in turn half alarmed caught the scroll, not wanting her puppy spider accomplice to fall to the ground.


    Zoe turned to Eagle-Man and spoke plainly and resolutely, fingers falling out of her ears, ¨C ¡°I¡¯m going to break the chains of destiny one day!¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t care what you say about Cosmic Calenders and duties to fulfill. I don¡¯t care what Zack says about mountaintop ranges and school homework.¡±


    ¡°If I really can¡¯t have my grandmother back then I¡¯m going to live my life how I want! If our soul has a problem with how I¡¯m living it, it can come down here and make me. Or this ¡®god¡¯ fellow or whoever can start throwing thunderbolts! I don¡¯t care anymore.¡±


    ¡°...I just wanted to have a normal highschool experience and now all of this is happening.¡±


    Eagle-Man said nothing.


    Zoe was becoming practiced in his unassuming silences and she in turn was starting to adopt them. His calm character was seeping in and affecting her ¨C or more accurately, his solar ambiance which was already in her was rising up to the surface as her, which is also to say that all that was not the solar god in her fell by the wayside.


    The more you raise your personal frequency, the more all that is not you ¨C the false self ¨C falls away out of existence.


    In this mental silence between earth-self and solar-god Eagle-Man finally spoke.


    Zoe felt like she could almost see him smiling though his expression remained featureless in stoic eagle fashion ¨C ¡°just eagle.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s something I want you to know. Everything I have communicated to you today is but a mental approximation that borders on distortion. The world cannot be grasped in concepts. It has to be lived and as you do so a hidden inner meaning avails itself to you that is not conceptual yet deeper and more informative than this little mind can grasp.¡±


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    Eagle-Man pointed a talon towards Zoe¡¯s head.


    ¡°Your comment that you will break the chains of destiny is the first time that you have spoken in MY language. In non-dialectical thought. In form-free thought which is the language of heaven. The universe waits for you to rise to your mantle as the solar god that you are ¨C that I AM in you.¡±


    ¡°As long as you allow your senses to rule your thoughts and not the other way around then you will never be free.¡±


    ¡°It is my hope that one day you and I will be reunited on the material plane as the singular entity that we really are ¨C but for this day to transpire you must be practiced in the language of heaven. And to learn the true tongue of the gods you must become a student of life. You will not find the answer in a book, earth-child. You will only find pointers, and what you do with those signifiers is the most important story you will ever read ¨C the story of your life.¡±


    It was with those departing words that Eagle-Man tore into the psychic ground of the dead earth with a violent swing of the hammer. The ground became alight with glowing cracks radiating from the epicenter of his force hit, and in a growing flash of light he disappeared.


    Zoe did not know what to say but she knew she had heard the words ¡®god,¡¯ ¡®heaven,¡¯ and ¡®light¡¯ more times in one conversation than she had heard all her life.


    ¡°Blah blah blah,¡± she stubbornly mumbled. ¡°Grams dies and THEN the gods come.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m going to do what I want. I don¡¯t care. Maybe I will throw a party at school and then go on grandma¡¯s quest.¡±


    Zoe realized that the temple of Alexandrine and the psychic realm where she now stood seemed a lot more empty without her Eagle accomplice and friend.


    She had enough emptiness the last week for a lifetime.


    As Zoe¡¯s tender heart fluttered with grief, the budding topsoil of anger and belligerence that had grown over it began to shift and quake and lose the statutory gaze it had veiled over her heart and being.


    ¡°What is this stupid thing?¡±


    Zoe said inspecting the scroll Eagle-Man gave her. It looked like the ones in the temple except that this scroll had a knack for following her.


    She unfurled the scroll to find a blank surface. However the unrolled page soon began to shift and change and letters familiar to Zoe began to take form on it.


    ¡°This is the scroll of truth.¡± It read.


    Zoe felt like it was speaking to her.


    ¡°Please don¡¯t tell me it¡¯s alive. Please don¡¯t tell me it¡¯s alive. ¨C Wait, is this thing like a phone? Can I call Eagle-Man in there?¡±


    Zoe brought her face closer to the scroll, slightly turning her head to listen but then quickly lost the courage to be so intimate with a magical object she had just met. The almost imperceptible hum of the scroll went unnoticed.


    The surface of the scroll shifted and rearranged itself.


    ¡°I have more life than you, O¡¯Brokenheart.¡±


    ¡°You cannot communicate with Xenozazo¡¯fone because he is already in you. Talking with yourself is inane and not possible.¡±


    Zoe got the distinct sense she was being insulted but she did not know what the word ¡®inane¡¯ meant. All the more reason to practice for the vocabulary portion of the standardized tests she surmised.


    ¡°Why is everyone so sassy today?¡± Zoe exclaimed in frustration, turning to shift her head away only to realize the scroll of truth was generating a reply for her.


    ¡°Your reality is your self. You always reap what you sow because you are the product of divine life. You ARE divine life. It cannot be another way.¡±


    "This human shell and mortal frame that you wear iis but a fraction of the real you. You are far vaster than you realize."


    ¡°As such, for earth-creatures, metaphysical creation is the law of the universe. The first forms take shape and then their effects follow -- to the finite mind it seems like cause and effect. A ''miracle'' has transpired.¡±


    Zoe completely erased the angry question that had formed in her mind: ¡°then why do people die?!¡±


    The surface of the scroll began generating its topography however nothing new formed. It resolved itself into a blank page.


    Zoe rolled the scroll up in a fit of frustration.


    It was in this manner she found herself physically asleep in her father¡¯s office while still feeling very much attached to the world of dreams.


    ¡°Come back here when you¡¯re ready.¡± Zoe heard a voice in her head. She did not


    know whose it was or where it had come from.

 Mourning Breakfast with Father

    Zoe rolled the scroll up in a fit of frustration.


    It was in this manner she found herself physically asleep in her father¡¯s office while still feeling very much attached to the world of dreams.


    ¡°Come back here when you¡¯re ready.¡± Zoe heard a voice in her head. She did not know whose it was or where it had come from.


    The words were psychic-image free and only the divine spirit concepualizing itself as discursive activity persisted in her. It was, also, in this anner that the sense world began to pour itself into her and ¡°Zoe¡± the incarnated self booted up online: she quicker than the speed of light ¡°remembered¡± who she was, where she was, why she was there, and all that had happened in her dayworld life.


    A certain alterity arouse in Zoe, an invisible wall, that separated her from the vast invisible existences of the other worlds ¡°in¡± her. She was no longer immersed in the psychic world or felt herself called to the divine spirit within ¨C that emanated in her as her solar self ¨C but rather she felt herself to be observing all these inner phenomena from the outside. As if she were in a glass cage, looking clearly through a pane of glass at something she wanted to desperately touch but could never hope to grasp.


    A secret but externally open sadness began to grow in Zoe¡¯s being ¨C she was sad and she knew not why, though everyone who studied her disposition that envisioned Zoe to the world publically, would notice these subtle expressions of melancholy pouring out of her persona-veiled inner person.


    Zoe, frustrated, arose from her makeshift-couh bed in her father¡¯s office.


    She began to grow angry at the disparity of the world and its seeming endless layers of confusion and irrationality. She reached for her phone to see if Zack had messaged her however in doing so she remembered that after te traumatizing incidents at the hospital she had found the werewithal to message Zack grandma¡¯s message.


    She had surmised that if Grams had found the strength to communicate to Zoe in ways that bordered the uncoventional then Zoe could put in that same effort to write down and solidify the cosmic message from beyond the immediate sensory.


    Zoe again felt called to write down her dreams and fought the inertia of her despondency and the day-ego¡¯s mental repression of content that was not its own.


    Zoe grabbed one of her nearby short-story notebooks and made some markings to indicate a break from story-making activity. She then began to write:


    ¡°Stupid eagle bird saved me¡±


    ¡°Alexandria. Temple?¡±


    ¡°Inner library? Vast realms? Rooms? Store house of knowledge.¡±


    The willing activity of Zoe¡¯s being and its efforts to reconnect with her dreamlife payed off enormous dividends. Zoe immediately found herself transported back into the psychic realm, as if almost fixed in a sutle trance ¨C what dayworld people might call ¡°daydreaming¡± or flights of fancy.¡±


    Zoe could see the hoe inner life of the dream and remembered her flight through the spheres of the heavens with Eagle-Man and landing in the decrypt crater barren of life and foilage where the inner temple was housed.


    She remembered the scroll of truth and the temple doors she tried to open. She remembered Eagle-Man¡¯s lecturing to her.


    ¡°I am here to tell you to keep moving forward.¡±


    ¡°I need you to open the inner doors which only an incarnated personality can do.¡±


    ¡°The heavenly principle is being constantly subdued by the forces of opposition.¡±


    Zoe began to write all this down in her book and free-formed wrote some of the ideas as best as she could until they took on a life of their own in her. It was almost as if some invisible spirit was using her as a medium to write though no such inclinations made themselves known to consciousness: ¡°The earth is dead because you mistake the psychic life of the invisible earth for the true heavenly principle which is not incarnate.¡±


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    For ¡°incarnate¡± Zoe accidently scribbled ¡°incarcirated.¡±


    Zoe with mental fatigue stopped writing down the dream, her first real attempt at doing so, and instead tried to dwell on the pleasant feelings that emanated from the psychic stream floruishing in her being. She tried to wrap herself in these dream images as best as she could or that they allowed themselves to do so ¨C building for herself a cloak of dreams with which she could walk through the ¡°mundane¡± world and the chains of mediocrity it would try to foist on her.


    Zoe was not only a gifted child with an active inner life but she was what the peoples¡¯ of ancient cultures might have called a ¡°puella¡±-eternus: a cosmic child whose playthings were the heavens and the earths.


    It was around this juncture of Zoe finding solace in her dream-life or psychic-life that Zoe heard her biological father calling to her from the steps from below.


    ¡°Zoe! It¡¯s time for breakfast!¡±


    Zoe groaned outloud: ¡°What did I do to be locked up with that man? ¡­ He even makes breakfast seem like a chore ¡­¡±


    Zoe heard her stomach grumbling and looing at the pile of chip bags and cardboard confessions of emotional eating she wondered if there was something more to eat than cupcakes for breakfast. It was in this manner that the animal-body of Zoe reigned supreme over her emotional body or sentient-soul life and thus her emotional consternations to a backseat to primitive instinct.


    Zoe brushed her teeth and headed downstairs, as she was doing so she went to close her open notebook where she had reconnected with her inner self and doing so almost seemed like a crie ¨C but as did leaving it open.


    The notebook seemed to have an invisible aura of energy to it ¨C in some ways it reminded her exactly of the inner temple. Zoe scribbled down in capital letters something else she had found herself remembering from her encounter with her solar self. She wrote in capital letters: ¡°SOUL SLAVE.¡±


    Then she closed the notebook and worked her way out the office door and down the stairs towards the kitchen.


    Meanwhile Zoe¡¯s father Benjamin had actually made breakfast: waffels and eggs ¡­ Well, he had tried.


    In truth, the eggs were dry and the waffles were crispier than stale bread.


    Benjamin watching his daughter enter the kitchen remarked: ¡°I was going to call the fire brigade.¡±


    Zoe looked around at ¡°breakfast¡± and regretted not feasting on cupcakes and chips for the fourth day in a row.


    ¡°Hello father,¡± she responded mechanically.


    ¡°A fire brigadier would struggle with this calamity I¡¯m afraid.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s brigade, Zoe. Brigade.¡±


    ¡°Whatever it is it would not help.¡±


    ¡°Oh come on ¡­ It¡¯s breakfast.¡± He said eyeing his morning creations.


    ¡°I will feast on eggs if I am permitted.¡±


    ¡°Why are you talking like a robot vampire?¡±


    Zoe, in truth, did not know. Someone of more psychological acumen might point out this is the first real breakfast Zoe had with her father in years whom she only saw infrequently on a yearly basis.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± she said resumed with the normal-animated reflection of Zoe.


    She began to realize she would never have breakfast with grandma again and a horrible contracting feeling formed in her abdomen.


    Zoe grabbed a plate and filled it with half-warm eggs from the frying pan.


    ¡°Everything I have reminds me of her,¡± Zoe opened up to her father.


    Benjamin said nothing at first, not knowing how to react to a grieving-teenage daughter.


    ¡°I know, Zoe. I know.¡±


    Zoe feeling ignored and not wanting to sustain these emotionally-heavy thoughts or her encounter with her father any longer.


    ¡°Well at least I¡¯m a warrior of heaven now.¡± Zoe quipped with wry tone.


    ¡°And I am from the planet Mars,¡± Benny mechanically commented.


    ¡°And you¡¯re an idiot.¡± Zoe said outloud.


    ¡°Hey! Come on! That¡¯s no way to talk to your father!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not my father! And don¡¯t think of bringing my ¡®mother¡¯ into this next!¡±


    Zoe began to shout, ¡°I know where this is going! I¡¯m not stupid. We¡¯ve done this before.¡±


    ¡°You drop the ball and then mention Bernadette.¡± Zoe¡¯s mother.


    The inter-generational line of women in Zoe¡¯s family was Eliza her grandmother whose dauhter was Bernadette and her daughter was none other than our beloved Zoe.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t make breakfast for you to call me stupid!¡±


    ¡°And I didn¡¯t come here of my own free will!¡±


    Then she added, ¡°And now I¡¯m to be a soul-slave! I¡¯m so sick of everyone telling me what to do.¡±


    Benjamin grew angry and short-tempered and replied: ¡°Well get used to it! You¡¯re here with me now.¡±


    Zoe kept her thoughts to herself: ¡°That¡¯s what you think.¡±


    Zoe pushed the plate of eggs to the side: ¡°thank you for this wonderful morning encounter.¡±


    She went up stairs, and like the day before, almost in hyponetic fashion. Benjamin shouted after her. ¡°Zoe! Zoe!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not a slave! And I¡¯m not stupid!¡±


    A week went by with Zoe sequestering herself in her room with her father leaving her money on the kitchen counter for takeout. The first time there was a note that read ¡°No boys!¡± which Zoe made a publi


    c display of throwing away the note on the rim of the trash can.