《My Bad Novel》 Heartbreak pt 1 A LEGEND BEGINS: A storm is heard brewing on the oceanfront as the whistling winds pick up speed and the sounds of violent waves crash against the rocks, letting out the silent groans of the living dead. Arise, once more! O'' living dead! Into this realm of strife and joy you go. Heartbreak chp 1 Zoe was on her way home when she saw him again -- a vision had struck. This white-dirty fur cloaked old man with an eye patch, graying blackspeckled beard and some sort of medal head band riet piece on his head. ¡°I am Halberd, King of Kings¡± he would one day tell her. But first they had to meet and all Zoe had was this mysterious vision to go on. She kept focusing on the image-fantasy in her mind and in doing so walked out onto a busy street. The blare of of obnoxious car horns pulled her back into sensual-physical reality away from the image that had in some sense taken hold of her consciousness yet like some trickster cloud managed to evade her covetous grasp every time she tried to focus and grab it. She was going to be late for class again. And her homeroom teacher already accused her of intentionally being late the last time Zoe arrived tardy ¡­ well that was the last time in a string of tardinesses. Zoe was always late to class. Her persecuting teacher said ¡°it¡¯s because you¡¯re in your senior year of high school¡± but Zoe was a Junior so she had no idea what he meant! She had wanted to correct him too but in truth she was too shy and insecure, lacked the strength or werewithdal as they say. She had learned ¡°werewithdal¡± in her college-entrance preparation classes. Zoe hopped across the street when the street light had turned green. Her body had seemed to have been in motion even before she had got the go ahead from the automatic light flicker device. But she was sure she had started walking when it had changed. When you¡¯re in a hurry time, or rather the perception of time, often seems wacky. As Zoe made her way down the street and could see the school building could see the school building[a] one street down further. She grew sadder and sadder as she felt the image of the wise old man float away from her consciousness until it reached this imperceptible threshold whereupon like a small heavy stone it sank deep back into the recesses of her innermost being. It made her lonely in a way. She wanted the meaning behind it. ¡°One more block to go,¡± she silently thought as she hurried along. The school building was wide an short like a bar of soap. She passed through the white-brick inlay entrance or was it marble? She liked to think it was marble or some opaque stone. But it was brick where the cement lines had faded so much there was no more division between the brick. Just one long stone entrance.If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. Zoe passed the security guard saying ¡°hello.¡± She thought he was going to stop her as he usually does but he gave a permissive lazy wave instead. The hallways were empty, ¡°I knew I was late!¡± She walked faster down the squeaky floor. It seemed (like an angry mouse was rummaging through the hallways) seemed to echo or squeak louder and louder as if some kind of mouse made of sponges had come alive. The squeaking grew intenser and intenser, was animated. As Zoe raced to class, she overlooked the students that were actually in the hallway. When she entered her homeroom class the teacher wasn¡¯t there and wondered to herself ¡°What is going on?¡± No students or teachers.¡± She sat down next to her friend Zack who motioned to her ¡°Where were you?¡± She replied, leaned in, ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± ¡°Nothing, I just wanted to know where you were¡± ¡°But I mean where¡¯s Misses Zakowski? Where are all the students?¡± ¡°They¡¯re still arriving, what do you mean?¡± She looked around the room, saw the ugly attendance chart on the wall. It looked more like an elementary--grade classroom not a high-school level one. The chart on the wall only showed the week and had a list of everyone¡¯s names on it. And the way it worked was that if you got checkmarks for the whole week of perfect attendance you were given a star next to your name. Once you got four stars, you ¡°ascended¡± -- Zack¡¯s word it -- promoted to ¡°star status.¡± Which means at the end of the semester you were entered into a raffle with a $300 gift card either to a video-game store or clothing store but only the highest star amount was actually entered. So if two people got 55 stars for the semester then they were competing in the raffle but if there was only one person then only they were ¡°entered¡± and thus won automatically. This was intended to create cut-throat competition for perfect attendance. And it worked quite well. ¡°Complex school bureaucracy, capitalism, and behavioural conditioning at its finest,¡± she had once heard Zack muse. She hated it. It was just an ugly chart to her. It she won good. But if she lost she didn¡¯t care because it was ¡°stupid and ugly.¡± ¡°I can make my own clothes anyway,¡± she thought. She did actually make dresses for herself and blouses but not as self-sufficiently as she let herself rationalization. Even the supplies to make clothes cost money . . . maybe that¡¯s why she hated it. Because the gift cards were so limiting. Also because it tried to force her to be on time, and thus blatantly reminded her that she was late wherever she went -- ¡°as if I do it on purpose!¡± She thought, starting to get angry. The irritation replaced her sense of sadness and despondency. She had been feeling earlier, particularly around the ¡°daydream¡± she had been having. The vision of the old man with the eye-patch that looked like some ancient king or strong wizard. She looked above the chart at the classroom clock which is why she had looked at the crazy elaborate ¡°ugly¡± thing in the first place. ¡°I¡¯m on time?¡± She almost said outloud to herself with a mix of shock, confusion, and imperciptible suspense. She was sure she had been late and something terrible and negative had happened that¡¯s why both the hallway and classroom were so empty and also why the teacher wasn¡¯t there. ¡°Doomsday thinking,¡± as Zack had once pointed out to her. He was her friend. As close a friend as any high-school girl who self-isolates like there¡¯s a global pandemic can have. Especially considering he¡¯s a guy. But he¡¯s not like the rest she often found herself observing. Just then their homeroom teacher for class 303 Miss Zakowski walked in. She didn¡¯t look too pleased and didn¡¯t go up to her teacher¡¯s desk as she usually does. Instead ¡°Miss Za-owh¡± as some of the other students called her walked a few steps into the room and she spoke: ¡°Zoe Dear, I need you to come with us to the Adminstration Office.¡± Heartbreak pt 2 Just then their homeroom teacher for class 303 Miss Zakowski walked in. She didn¡¯t look too pleased and didn¡¯t go up to her teacher¡¯s desk as she usually does. Instead ¡°Miss Za-owh¡± as some of the other students called her walked a few steps into the room and she spoke: ¡°Zoe Dear, I need you to come with us to the Adminstration Office.¡± ¡°Dear?¡± Zoe though with malice. Surprising even herself with the unconscious current of contempt that had made its way to the surface. The class immediately erupted with ¡°oooo¡¯s¡± as Miss Zakowski finished her sentence. The external sounds almost blocking out and flooding Zoe¡¯s internal thought processes. Zoe got up and took her cute-patch faced bag with her up off the ground. She wanted to look back at Zack for comfort but she didn¡¯t since everyone was watching. As she was walking she got really anxious, a lot moreso than a room full of strangers, ¡°classmates¡±, looking at you does. With each step she seemed to be getting weaker and her mind increasingly more blank. She felt this hollow separated presence or thought-process escaping from herself. As if being pulled etherly into some void. The thought was ¡°us?¡± In focusing on the beginning of Miss Za-owh sentence Zoe missed the second half of it. ¡°Who¡¯s us?¡± she would have thought if she could, if she wasn¡¯t so displaced. As Zoe walked to the front the two officers said as Zoe stepped into the hallway. ¡°Riverbucker?¡± Zoe said outloud in her face. She grew more anxious and winded. ¡°Riverbocker is my grandma¡¯s name¡± she finally replied. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± Zoe quickly added on, interrupting herself in a way. ¡°Is grandma okay?¡± ¡°That¡¯s why we¡¯re here,¡± the other officer chimed in as if a second person talking suddenly brought calm to the chaos. The original officer bloastered himself physically by his utility belt and broadened his chest into convex. Then spoke, ¡°Your grandmother Eliza Riverbocker was in an accident. We spoke with the hospital staff who only told us your name and school. We talked with the school staff but they don¡¯t have the contract information for your parents. Is your grandmother your legal guardian ma¡¯am? How do we contact your parents?¡±You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author. Zoe felt the bottom floor of her abdominal cavity fell out into a deep abyss. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± Zack suddenly asked, popping his head out of the doorway from inside the classroom. The courage it had taken him to do anything of the sort no one knew. To them though, he just looked like some whimsical kid who was out of his seat and didn¡¯t belong here. Zoe felt growing emotional pangs rise up from within the abyss of her innermost being. ¡°No, no, no. Not like this,¡± she inwardly said yet still remained mute. ¡°Mister Goldenstein, get back in your seat right this minute,¡± Mizz Sakowski bellowed. You could see Zachary was more alarmed by the armed police officers than his teacher¡¯s protestations. The adolescent physique of Noahs (Zacks) youth further contrasted the strangeness of armed men in the wallways of a little high school most people don¡¯t really care about. ¡°Excuse me,¡± Zoe finally let out in a whisper. ¡°Son, I¡¯m going to need you to get back into your ass as this doesn¡¯t concern you.¡± an officer said to Zack as if pushing a demon hoard back. ¡°Exuse me, Zoe said with irritation yet through the funnel of a whisper. Zack got strangely combative, ¡°You can¡¯t tell me what to do! This is a school building. We have rules here!¡± The other officer finally replied, ¡°Sir, unless you¡¯re Miss Riverbocker¡¯s sibling. I¡¯m going to have to ask you to go back inside. It¡¯s for your own safety.¡± ¡°Mister Goldenstein, how dare you talk back to these noble officers who risk their very lives everyday to make sure you have a safe community to live in! Now I told you to get back into your seat right this minute -- NOW!!¡± Rather than wait for Zachary to listen, Miss Zakowski started hurrying him physically. Then Zoe finally burst ¡°What the fuck is going on here?? Where¡¯s my grandmother. I don¡¯t want her to die.¡± Zoe broke down into tears, she had somehow ended up sitting on folded knees sobbing. The police officers looked more alarmed and confused what to do with a sobbing teenage girl than anyone else present. You quickly got the feeling as they grew more and more uncomfortable that they rather be chasing after a bad guy than deal with this mess. ¡°Now, now, dear,¡± Mizz Za-owh helped Zoe up off the floor. ¡°Now you¡¯ve really done it,¡± Zack told the original officer he was trying to start a fight with, possessed by what spirit of his past we don¡¯t know. ¡°Get over here,¡± the provoked officer motioned towards Zack in a ¡°you little weasel¡± type manner. Zack quickly finally ran back inside the classroom. The officer stopped his fake-out motion. Heartbreak pt 3 ¡°Get over here,¡± the provoked officer motioned towards Zack in a ¡°you little weasel¡± type manner. Zack quickly finally ran back inside the classroom. The officer stopped his fake-out motion. ¡°Oh please don¡¯t arrest him officer, he¡¯s just an innocent little child,¡± Miss Zakowski quickly added. ¡°Oh that was just a joke right?¡± The other officer said tapping the back of his hand against his partner¡¯s chest, coincidentally near the badge. ¡°Yeah, yeah. They¡¯re teenagers. We get it,¡± the original officer said begrudgingly as his lighthearted manner returned to him. They both turned to Zoe, the look of ineptitude returning to their demeanor. Zoe¡¯s sobs deepened. ¡°I don¡¯t want her to die,¡± she looked at her hands, ¡°She¡¯s dead isn¡¯t she?!¡± Her sobbing intensified. ¡°No ma¡¯am, your grandmother¡¯s still alive. We got the details of the car accident from her. Then she went back to sleep. She looked bruised and tired is all.¡± Zoe still in her grief somehow turned on her reason brain. ¡°But if you talked with her why didn¡¯t you get my parent¡¯s information from her or why did the hospital staf have to give you my name and school? Why didn¡¯t she tell you? I know she¡¯s dead, I know it,¡± Zoe said bewildered. ¡°Zoe dear it¡¯s okay. The good officers said she was tired and just sufferred a trauma. She went back to sleep dear.¡± Zoe looked less lost in her grief. Miss Zakowski answered the officer¡¯s questions again. She had already done so when she had lead them through the hallway to Zoe¡¯s class. ¡°Yes, Eliza is Zoe¡¯s legal guardian,¡± she continued with uncertain voice ¡°I call her all the time about Zoe¡¯s lateness.¡± Zoe would have rolled her eyes if she wasn¡¯t so distressed. The officers finally snapped out of their unconscious stupor. ¡°Ma¡¯am,¡± spoke one referring to Zoe, ¡°we need to hear it from you. That you¡¯re related to Miss Eliza Riverbocker and that she¡¯s your legal guardian.¡± All three adult faces turned to a helpless Zoe. She had gone from feeling overwhelmed and lost in grief and dispair to now feeling nothingness, a cool emptiness pervaded her being. Numbness is feeling the same thing over and over again until you can¡¯t feel it anymore.This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings. She wanted to say ¡°yes,¡± she almost did even in her thoughts but as she went to go have the thought it felt like she had been climbing some slippery hill and as she approached the top she took a tumble downward. And remained silent, saying nothing. You could almost hear the inaudibleness as it penetrated the moment: N-O-T-H-I-N-G wafted through the air reveberating the emptiness of spacetime itself. Zoe felt another smaller stone drop down the center of her being, down from and through her abdominal cavity into the netherness below. ¡°Yes,¡± she found herself saying. She felt a wave of openness and ¡°calmness¡± wash over her. She felt lighter. She felt and was in reality. ¡°Yes, that¡¯s my gram-gram,¡± or as Zoe¡¯s mother had once joked when Zoe was little ¡°Grand, Grand, the Holy One.¡± In equal parts derision and jealousy. ¡°Will you take me to go see her?¡± The officers did indeed take Zoe to the hospital. The whole ride was a blur really., devoid of any meaning. She had even forgot to take her bag, wondering why no one told her she had left it in the hallway. ¡°Maybe Zack will get it,¡± she thought to herself as the police car pulled into the driveway of the hospital. ¡°I don¡¯t believe them, I know she¡¯s dead¡± Zoe thought to herself as she walked through the entrance of the hospital. The receptionist looked at her whimsically, a ¡°why is a teenage girl being escorted by two armed men¡± type of look. Oddly enough the nurse knew them. ¡°Hey Clark and Joe, what¡¯ll it be today?¡± It seems they were regulars. ¡°We¡¯re escorting Miss Zoe here to see her grandmother. The elderly lady from this morning who was in the car accident Riverbocker.¡± ¡°Ah yes,¡± the nurse gave Zoe a serious look as she continued scanning her. ¡°What?¡± Zoe finally let out. ¡°Nothing dear¡± ¡°I know she¡¯s dead. That¡¯s why you keep looking at me. I know it.¡± ¡°No dear, we moved Miss Riverbocker to a room upstairs. She¡¯s fine. We wouldn¡¯t have moved her if her wounds weren¡¯t treated and she was stabilized. The doctor gave the OK.¡± ¡°Then why do you keep looking at me?¡± ¡°I just wanted to make sure you were the one who¡¯s okay, love. A young girl shouldnt never be with police officers unless they¡¯re carrying her in an armchair,¡± she joked. Clark, one of the officers, gave her a playful look. ¡°Why did you bring this girl here officer?¡± The nurse teased Clark, ¡°you just wanted to see me didn¡¯t you.¡± ¡°Enough of that young lady,¡± Clark responded in earnest. Joe and Zoe rolled heir eyes at their love games. ¡°Excuse me, don¡¯t you have a job to do?¡± Zoe wanted to comment irritably. Joe spoke, ¡°we bought Miss Roverbocker here to see her grandmother because she is her guardian. As she is still under legal age we need to get in contact with her parents. But in the meantime maybe she can stay in her grandmother¡¯s room while we get things all sorted out.¡± ¡°Yes, that¡¯s alright. I¡¯ll go mention it to my shift supervisor now.¡± The nurse said. ¡°I¡¯m so so scared,¡± Zoe¡¯s insides rumbled. ¡°I think I¡¯m getting hungry,¡± Zoe told the two officers as she touched her belly. The emotional pangs were getting worse. ¡°I really need some food,¡± Zoe said alarmed and scared. Heartbreak pt 4 ¡°I¡¯m so so scared,¡± Zoe¡¯s insides rumbled. ¡°I think I¡¯m getting hungry,¡± Zoe told the two officers as she touched her belly. The emotional pangs were getting worse. ¡°I really need some food,¡± Zoe said alarmed and scared. ¡°Alright, alright,¡± Joe told Zoe. ¡°Go follow the nurse and talk to the supervisor then call dispatch back. I¡¯ll take her to the cafeteria and you can meet me there,¡± Joe then told Clark. ¡°Let¡¯s get going,¡± he nodded to the girl. They took the elevator one floor down and as they were roaming the hallway they passed a vending machine filled with snacks that caught Zoe¡¯s eye. ¡°This will do,¡± Zoe remarked gleefully in her teenage youth. The officer rolled his eyes and murmured something about a ¡°balanced meal.¡± ¡°Do you even have money?¡± He let out in parental desperation as he watched her choose between chips and cookies. ¡°Yes, yes, thank you,¡± Zoe said in a predator-induced trance. Victory-or-defeat, there can be only one outcome. The officer put his hand to his forehead, remarking ¡°I wasn¡¯t offering¡­¡± His words went unheard as Zoe entered her change into the vending machine, the mechanical beeps and coins dropping blocking out all the remnents of noise. Grabbing her snacks and tearing into it. The officer remarked ¡°you don¡¯t want to go to the cafeteria anymore, do you?¡± As he counted the number of snacks she bundled in her left arm as she skillfully ate with her other arm. ¡°Nah-omph, nah-omph¡± After a big gulp of half-chewed food, ¡°Can I go see my grandmother now? I miss her so much already.¡± Joe let out with exasperated breath, ¡°let¡¯s go.¡± Zoe meticulously ate all her snacks while walking and not dropping a crumb! A few almost escaped but she caught each one. She had one big left when they made it to her grandmother¡¯s floor. She could have eaten the last bag in time but she didn¡¯t want that numbing-consciousness-narrowing dull effect in the immediacy of her experience right before she stepped into her grandmother¡¯s room. She wanted to give it some time to fade so she stopped eating. As they walked through the floor, the nurses station was empty, so they continued on into the room. Zoe could see her grandmother through the door¡¯s window. It was dimly lit but what light remained captured the old woman¡¯s image. Zoe felt hesitant and still, more in a paralyzed sense, yet almost as if outside looking in on herself. She watched as her arm swung upwards and her hand opened and released the doorknob. She walked in and the first thing she heard was the heart monitor. The room had two beds inside but the first, closest to the door, was empty and undraped.If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement. Zoe walked towards her grandmother. ¡°I¡¯m sorry for not being there for you,¡± she found herself wanting to say. Somehow the thought made her more tired and feel emptier inside. She felt heavy and all her thoughts felt vague, obscure, and muddled together. One long diffuse pool of sensory input. ¡°I don¡¯t know what to say,¡± she wanted to tell Joe who hadn¡¯t followed her into the room. Zoe found herself thinking about all the times her grandmother had lifted her up the ground as Zoe was learning to ride a bike. She was transitioning from not relying on training wheels, as a little kid growing up too fast too soon, and everytime she tried to ride to just toppled over and scraped a knee. Zoe didn¡¯t want to wear kneepads because the velcro straps in the back rubbed the back of her knee raw. ¡°You just have to keep going Zoe-baby,¡± her grandmother said sweetly. Zoe still had a mark on her knees from all the falls. ¡°I¡¯m going to take care of you now, the way you took care of me grandma...It¡¯s my turn to lift you up now, we¡¯ll get through this,¡± Zoe remarked. Zoe¡¯s grandmother looked tired yet peaceful. As tired as a body that¡¯s been experiencing and breathing for three quarters of a century could be. Zoe found herself getting hungry again. She wanted to stay longer by her grandmother¡¯s side but she found herself feeling so physiologically restless, overstimulated. She couldn¡¯t hold her own attention, albeit when is an ailing caretaker ever an easy sight to see? ¡°I don¡¯t know what to do,¡± she said again in different variation. Her insides were shaking, ¡°how do I express all that I want to say?,¡± she thought. ¡°I don¡¯t know how.¡± It felt unsurmountable. She finally said outloud, ¡°thank you for everything. You were the best thing to ever happen to me.¡± She wished her grandmother was conscious. That she culd hug her and be enveloped in the sense of comfortable she always felts grams to be especially when Zoe felt uncertain or lost inside. It was still something. Zoe was glad she had said something now. It felt good to start to put order to the confusion. She felt like she wanted to stay longer but as she also felt there was nothing left for her to do she wanted to go. The tension compounded her anxiety. Zoe heard Joe¡¯s radio from the doorway. Something about a ¡°code 4¡± there was a stream of indiscernible chatter usually there was just a burst from it up until now. ¡°Zoe,¡± Joe popped in from the hallway. ¡°I¡¯m going to step away from the door. If Nurse McAdams or the floor nurse comes back let her know that I went to go get Officer Johnson from the cafeteria. He¡¯s not answering his radio. My name¡¯s officer Rowan by the way.¡± ¡°Okay, thank you for bringing me here in the first place,¡± Zoe said outloud but as her words fell out of her mouth into reality and then her ear. They felt a certain heaviness as they punctured through into reality and so she only ended up saying ¡°okay.¡± ¡°So that¡¯s what their names are,¡± she thought to her. Then also wondered ¡°how am i going to get out of here now?¡± She felt trapped as if she had to wait for Officer Joe to get back now. She let out a deep sigh. Zoe didn¡¯t realize how tired she was until she sat into the chair. Soft yet firm and unyielding, she felt the wooden structure underneath more than comfortableness of the cushion. It was soft enough though and Zoe quickly fell asleep. [some time later] ¡°Zoe? Zoe? Is that you?¡± ¡°Who¡¯s there?¡± ¡°It¡¯s me, baby-cakes. Grandma.¡± ¡°Grandma!?¡± ¡°Why can¡¯t I see you??!¡± You¡¯re dreaming baby.¡± ¡°I¡¯m dreaming?... But why is it so dark? I don¡¯t see anything!!¡± ¡°That¡¯s because you¡¯re dreaming baby! Come on now, just come to me. Follow the sound of my voice.¡± ¡°But I don¡¯t have a body. All I see is darkness.¡± ¡°Just try¡± Silence. The darkness creeped in and Zoe became more anxious. ¡°Nothing¡¯s happening! If thi is a dream I don¡¯t to be here anymore.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay baby, I have a mission for you. I want you to take Hal and travel to the peak of Mt. Dominus. Once you¡¯re there you can see the Valley of the Depths. And I want you to go there and shatter the crystal rock of Gibralter.¡± Zoe remained flustered, ¡°Shatter what? Go to Mt. Hal and the Valley of Gibralter?!¡± ¡°No baby. It¡¯s okay. Calm down --¡± ¡°But grandma I just want to be with you. I hate this darkness. I thought dreams were suppose to have images.¡± ¡°Baby. Just listen. And this isn¡¯t a dream anymore.¡± ¡°So it¡¯s not a dream!?¡± ¡°You were always this stubborn. That¡¯s why I always liked you and felt close to you. Not only because you were my grandbaby but because you reminded me of myself when I was younger. Now listen.¡± The dream voice continued, ¡°You and Hal. Mission. Mountain Dominus. See and go into Valley of Depths. Crystal of Gibraltar go boom.¡± Then added, ¡°Got that?¡± Heartbroken ¡°You were always this stubborn. That¡¯s why I always liked you and felt close to you. Not only because you were my grandbaby but because you reminded me of myself when I was younger. Now listen.¡± The dream voice continued, ¡°You and Hal. Mission. Mountain Dominus. See and go into Valley of Depths. Crystal of Gibraltar go boom.¡± Then added, ¡°Got that?¡± ¡°Boom?¡± said Zoe with a whisper. ¡°Boom,¡± said the dream voice in agreement and reinforcement. ¡°Ohhh. You want me to break some crystal in Gibraltar but I can only see it in the Valley of the Depths which is only accessible through Mountain Domi.¡± ¡°Yes, basically baby¡­ that was really good. It¡¯s Mountain Dominus though,¡± the dream voice corrected her. ¡°Mt. Domi sounds cuter¡­¡± ¡°Girl if you don¡¯t get your hiney over to the mountain right now¡± ¡°Wait Grandma but whose--¡± ¡°Zoe? Zoe? Hey wake up. It¡¯s time to go. Wake up.¡± Zoe woke up in the hospital armchair, sitting towards her grandmother Eliza. The unconscious thought ¡°whose Hal?¡± percolated into her conscious mind before it faded way like any other ethereal thing. Officer Joe was standing talking to her, Officer Clark by his side. ¡°Zoe we¡¯re back. I got Officer Dawson.¡± Zoe was still groggy from her dream, in fact she felt like she was still there in the dream space. Her body felt wholly contained in another realm, somehow superimposed over this present reality. Everything outside of her, the room, the empty space, other people, all took energy and focus away from her. She glared at them as if looking into the sun, reticent of an overstimulating world she could not escape. After what seemed like a long silence, Zoe took a dry gulp, and finally spoke ¡°whose, whose--¡± then realized the outpouring of thought and mixing of realities that was happening. ¡°Whose Hal?¡± became ¡°nevermind¡± spoken outloud. ¡°Whose who?¡± One of the officers replied. Zoe asked a different question, ¡°go where?!¡±Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road. Zoe¡¯s eyes saw her grandmother, ¡°how¡¯s my grandma?¡± she asked hurriedly. ¡°Go take you to your father Zoe,¡± Officer Zoe spoke, ¡°we were able to get in contact with your mother who gave us the information for your father. We couldn¡¯t reach him. But your mother said she would get in contact with him to let him know we¡¯re coming and what happened.¡± Then he added ¡°and your grandmother¡¯s still sleeping.¡± Zoe got up to go with the officers. She didn¡¯t care anymore. All the old, previous, feelings of feeling like she couldn¡¯t adequately connect with her grandmother and tell-show her how grateful Zoe was returned. Her grandmother w there in person but it felt like her spirit was trapped behind a glass wall and Zoe couldn¡¯t reach out to her -- or anyone for that matter -- into that other dimension. As Zoe walked out of the doorway she thought she saw her father. It was a father but not hers walking into another room. He was cheerful and had this soft demeanor similar to her own father; a man whom she had only met a few times in her life. However, Zoe¡¯s father unlike this stranger in the hospital hallway had a more puerile being or countenance to him while this man clearly had a more masculine-natural gait to him. One that came naturally through experience and his own bodily feeling not the self-imposed presentations of bravado. Maybe it was the jeweled wristwatch and business casual polo but Zoe¡¯s father wore all that too. With one man you got the sense that he got what needed to be done finished and with the other you were left waiting sad, empty-handed, and alone. That is one was responsible and the other not so much. Officer Clark passed Zoe who seemed to be walking slowly and he pressed the elevator button call downward button. Zoe did in fact linger and somewhere behind her in the distance she heard commotion. The rapid beeping of a monitor gone silent into unresponsive tone was followed by the clamoring of nurses running into a room. It all seemed so distant to Zoe. It took place on the periphery of her consciousness where it seemed it didn¡¯t really concern her even though she was cognizant of it. ¡°Zoe,¡± Clark put his heavy hand on her shoulder. ¡°That was your grandmother¡¯s room. She¡¯s in trouble.¡± ¡°Huh?¡± Zoe said clueless. ¡­ Three days had passed before Zoe ate anything more than a cup of hot instant noodles. The two officers Joe and Clark did indeed end up taking Zoe to her father¡¯s house. She was catatonic by the time she got there. He, irrelevant as always. Zoe had been hysterical when she ran into her grandmother¡¯s room. Officer Clark had to bear-hug her from the back and pull her out of the room. Even that had not been enough, first she almost slipped out of his grasp before he managed to grap her again. Then she started clawing at his arms and kicking his legs from below. Officer Joe had to grab her legs and hold them as Clark lowered his grab to include her foearms. Zoe¡¯s might was matched only by her screaming which quickly, already incomprehensible , devolved to deep sobbing and murmuring. The frantic sobbing continued first in waves then in volleys until they ripped and into the hospital hallway, whereupon she broke into a sudden eerie mutedness. Just silence and unfeigned stillness. The cessation of nervous-system energy as expressed in the animal body. If you looked at her chest you could not see it even moving with breathe. ¡°I don¡¯t want to live anymore,¡± was the unconscious command emanating from her being: ¡°I give up.¡± Father-Irrelevant ¡°I don¡¯t want to live anymore,¡± was the unconscious command emanating from her being: ¡°I give up.¡± Zoe was quiet for a long time and by the the time she started looking to the officers and comprehending the world around her, she spoke even less. It seemed like they were taking her home. The sweet nurses gave heer some hot tea ¡°for nerves,¡± but she did not drink it because the chaotic heat of the cup was a sensory affront to her numbness. She did not take it with her initially because it was too heavy. And then she forgot about it. By the time Zoe had moved from the hallway a great deal of time had passed at least three hours she guesstimated later. When Zoe rose to the fact that she was being taken home she thought they meant her grandmother¡¯s place. Zoe¡¯s home: where she lived, where she ate, where she went to sleep; where she played videogames, wrote short stories about aliens and ghosts ¨C they¡¯re out there! ¨C , petted and cuddled her cat Mister Scuttlebutt; and, probably most of all, procrastinated on doing her homework¡­ This was also where she went to school from, and then returned to. Zoe¡¯s home was where her grandmother did her friday nights ¡°with the girls,¡± they called it ¡°the swinging sixties.¡± It was where grandma waited for Zoe with homemade baked goods, these bite-sized balls of raw dough that she fried on a pan with onions. It was where grandma did everything ¡­ and now it was all suddenly gone? ¡°Was it even ever real?¡± Zoe siently wondered in horror. ¡°For it to have ever been real, how could it be destroyed so quickly? How could it be gone in the blink of an eye?¡± ¡°Zoe, Zoe. How long are you going to be like this?¡± Zoe¡¯s father spoke through her emotional-stupor on day three which in reality manifested as him talking through her closed door. She had barricaded herself in his ¡°study.¡± A room with a desk, computer, empty filing cabinet, and a small bookshelf. ¡°Your mother¡¯s worried about you¡­I¡¯m worried about you. You can sleep in my room. I can sleep on the couch in the living room, like I told you when you first got here.¡± Zoe might have felt an internal wince if she were not so numb; but, in truth, nothing touched her.This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version. ¡°It¡¯s okay, just¡­come out.¡± ¡°It¡¯s the first selfless thing he¡¯s done,¡± she thought to herself bitterly. Zoe was not a fan of her father ¨C if she did think of him, she thought of him as ¡°Father-Irrelavant.¡± An honory title which was more than he deserved. ¡°No.¡± She replied. ¡°Come on. I want to help you.¡± ¨C That was a lie. ¡°You want to help yourself,¡± Zoe snapped back. ¡°I care about you,¡± he said with softer tone. He did. She was his daughter in the end, whether or not he was a self-indulgent ¡°pig¡± and tended tp put his own needs above the needs of others. ¡°I hate you,¡± se thought and voiced: ¡°Leave me alone!¡± Fustration buiding up in the father¡¯s tone: ¡°You know you should be happy those officers didn¡¯t press charges against you for assaulting them! Imagine ¨C¡± He cut himself off; the unvoiced part: ¡°Imagine how much trouble that would have caused me! A teenage daughter in jail with a record.¡± Zoe went to put a pillow over her head but then in a fit of rage threw it at the door. It was te first concrete bodily expression she had in a while ¨C her body felt foreign to her. Thud. Cotton pillow meets hollow door. ¡°Okay, okay. I¡¯m sorry¡­¡± After a moment¡¯s pause, ¡°you can come out when you¡¯re ready. Just let me take care of you. This isn¡¯t normal.¡± Several hours passed by with Zoe doing absolutely nothing except the constant cycle of thoughts and memories she did not know how to stop.She had gotten all the supplies she needed ¨C snacks, pillows, blanket, phone charger ¨C in the middle of the night, purposely while her father was asleep, when she first arrived to minimize contact with him. Zoe¡¯s phone vibrated and chimed. It was Zack, arguably her one lone-school friend she had met in homeroom by virtue of proximity. He said he was going to bring her over her homework. ¡°That¡¯s not what friends are for!¡± She groaned. ¡°You should be helping me break out of this prison ¨C not building me a new one!! I don¡¯t care about school!¡± She did at least wonder what news he would bring. The night Zoe was in hysterics and was forcefully removed from the hospital room. She realized she had completely forgotten about Mister Scuttlebutt!! Who would feed him and take care of him?! Zoe had messaged Zack that night and he said he would go feed him though he had never been to her house before. She did not think much of the issue and felt lucky to have him. Zoe contemplated bringing Mister Scuttlebutt to her father¡¯s but she had no intention in staying with Father-Irrelevant; and, he, true to his self-centered nature never pressed the issue. He probably forgot the cat existed! ¡°Scuttles must be so lonely,¡± Zoe thought to herself, accosted by the experience of a now harrowing and ruptured world without her grandma. Never fully realizing she was talking about herself in clandestine form; refusing to contemplate and hold in consiousness a world without her bright light. ¡°Maybe I should just bring him here after all,¡± Zoe sighed with deep resignation. This mental resignation soon turned to a full-bodied psycho-physical resignation and Zoe gently drifted off to sleep.