《The Great Adventure》 Chapter 1: The Falling of the Rock This story shall begin as any other story begins, which just so happens to be on the planet of the cat people. Cat people are bipedal cats that can talk (they are literally just cats standing on their back legs). In one particular house there was an average 14 year old cat named Mushpuff (cat people age like humans). Mushpuff was doing his homework, which was a 700-page essay on chickens which he had been assigned four months ago but had only just begun on this particular night. It was 10 pm and Mushpuff was only half a page in. Poor Mushpuff was losing hope. He decided to take a break from the essay and watch TV for 30 minutes to clear his head. As Mushpuff wrote his essay, a large flaming object from space crashed down into his yard like an asteroid, creating a great smoldering crater where his giant statue of a banana used to be. Mushpuff, however, failed to notice this because he had the loudest television in existence and also he was facing away from the impact. For these two reasons, Mushpuff did not see or hear the object crash into his yard¡­ but 3 million other people from Mushpuff¡¯s city did, and soon every single one of them was in his yard to investigate. One of these people happened to call the International Investigations System Organization of Detectives of the Galaxy (IISODG) to come and investigate it and stuff. Soon the IISODG had arrived in Mushpuff¡¯s yard too. Wesley, the leader of the IISODG, looked upon the object in Mushpuff¡¯s yard. It appeared to be a large rock with a metal door on it. Wesley tried every technique in the book to try to open the door, but to no avail. The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation. It was at this moment that Mushpuff finished his 30-minute television break, and as soon as he turned off his TV he heard the 3 million cat-people in his yard, as well as Wesley banging on the door of the rock trying to open it. He walked outside. ¡°What the heck is going on out here? Why are you all in my yard??¡± shouted Mushpuff. ¡°Well this big rock with a door on it fell out of the sky,¡± explained Wesley. ¡°I am Wesley, leader of the International Investigations System Organization of Detectives of the Galaxy, so I am authorized to be here.¡± ¡°And what about the 3 million other people here?¡± asked Mushpuff. ¡°They¡¯re not authorized to be here but who cares.¡± ¡°Well I have news for all of you!¡± yelled Mushpuff. ¡°This rock is mine! It fell from my storage system in space. Now leave!¡± The 3 million cat-people in Muspuff¡¯s yard immediately left, and so did the IISODG. Of course, Mushpuff was lying because he had no idea what this rock was but he wanted everyone off his property and he wanted the rock to himself. And now that everyone was gone he got a chance to observe it. While admiring the rock and thinking about how cool it was, something CRAZY happened! The door on the rock STARTED TO OPEN!!! Mushpuff sat and waited 4 minutes for the door to slowly and painfully open all the way, and after it did, he entered the rock. Chapter 2: Jet Boosters Upon entering the rock, Mushpuff found himself in a room which appeared to be some sort of spaceship control room, with all sorts of buttons and levers and dials. In the center was a chair facing towards a window through which he could see outside. This window was completely invisible from the outside. Behind the chair was a wall, but it had a doorframe on both of the far sides of it. Mushpuff walked through the closest one and was met with a room resembling a living room, complete with floor-to-ceiling windows on either side, as well as a rug, a couch, and a television. Astoundingly, there was another doorway in the back of this room, and Mushpuff continued. This door led into a hallway with a door on the left and a door on the right. Each door opened on identical bedrooms with beds, desks, and trampolines. And windows too. Can¡¯t forget those. In one of the beds was a non-suspicious pillow buried entirely under the blanket. Needless to say, the rock was much larger on the inside than the outside. Mushpuff decided he needed time to comprehend what the heck was happening and what to do about all this. He laid down on a bed in one of the bedrooms (the one without the suspicious pillow) and almost instantly fell asleep because he didn¡¯t realize how tired he was. When Mushpuff woke up, it was to the sound of banging and shouting. He looked out the window and saw 3 million cat-people and the IISODG in his yard again. Mushpuff went to the front door of the rock and opened it. ¡°What are y¡¯all doing here?¡± yelled Mushpuff. ¡°I told you to get out!¡± The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there. ¡°You totally lied,¡± said Wesley, who was at the door. ¡°This is not your rock. We did a background check on all space storage owned by cats on this planet and nobody ever had a large rock. Now we need to take this rock.¡± ¡°Get outta my yard,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°The IISODG has an offer for you!¡± said Wesley. ¡°Oh really?¡± ¡°We offer to buy the rock from you for 7 million Cat Credits!¡± ¡°No, go die.¡± Mushpuff slammed the door in the face of Wesley. Then he looked around the control room to see if he could find anything that could scare everyone off. There were many buttons, but Mushpuff eventually settled on the one labeled ¡°jet boosters.¡± He pushed it and large wings stabbed out the sides of the rock, stabbing a few people (by which I mean it sliced them in half), before the rock launched forwards through his yard, running over many people and crashing through the fence. Everyone was freaking out and being like ¡°OMG IT¡¯S MOVING!!!¡± After a bit of dragging along the ground, the rock started going up into the air. Mushpuff was screaming and freaking out. The rock¡¯s altitude got higher and higher until eventually he was in space. Mushpuff could not figure out how to turn off the jet boosters so he kept accelerating faster and faster through space until eventually his home planet was no longer visible. It was at that moment that someone walked through the door behind him into the control room. Chapter 3: Bird The person behind Mushpuff screamed, causing Mushpuff to notice the person and also scream. It turned out the person who walked into the room was none other than a penguin wearing a hoodie. ¡°Who are you? What¡¯cha doin¡¯ in my spaceship, yo?¡± asked the penguin. ¡°Well it kinda crashed into my yard and then I was curious and then before I knew it I was in space! But how did you get here?¡± ¡°What do ya mean, how did I get here?¡± asked the penguin. ¡°I was in here sleeping the whole time in my bedroom. I guess the autopilot was a bad idea because I crashed.¡± ¡°But I checked the bedrooms, I would¡¯ve seen you!¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°I sleep completely under the blankets.¡± ¡°Oh, so that¡¯s what that suspicious pillow was,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°But can I go home now?¡± ¡°Of course. Get off of my chair, yo.¡± Mushpuff got off the chair in the control room and let the penguin sit down in it. ¡°I¡¯ll take you right back home in no time,¡± said the penguin. Mushpuff sat on the floor of the control room and looked at the beautiful sight of space out the window and talked with the penguin, whose name was Bird. By the time they arrived back at Mushpuff¡¯s planet, they were beginning to become friends. Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site. ¡°Well we¡¯re back now. I guess this is goodbye,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°I have a once in a lifetime offer for you,¡± said Bird. ¡°Aye?¡± ¡°I¡¯m currently on a little bit of a quest and I am looking for people to join me on this quest because it¡¯s very dangerous and I cannot do it myself. Do you wanna join me?¡± ¡°Well my life is kinda busy right now,¡± replied cat-person named Mushpuff. ¡°What¡¯s the quest about and how dangerous is it?¡± ¡°Well it all started a while ago, when I was minding my own business on my planet. Then out of the sky came tons of spaceships and they landed and cows came out and started drilling into the ground with some sort of advanced machinery. Our leader ordered them to stop and explain themselves. They killed him. Then we launched an explosive snowball at the cows, killing some of them, which was a big mistake because they had advanced technology and started a mass genocide of all the penguins. I snuck into the Spaceship Museum and stole this rock spaceship (all the better ones were already stolen) and escaped, with one mission: come back, kill all the cows, get revenge, and save my friends.¡± ¡°Golly gee, that sounds dangerous!¡± the feline by the name of Mushpuff said. ¡°How are we supposed to do that?¡± ¡°Well that¡¯s why I need a team, yo,¡± said Bird. ¡°Preferably a large, powerful one. And maybe you can help.¡± ¡°Yeah okay sure! My life on this planet sucks so this seems so much more fun.¡± ¡°Great! Then let¡¯s begin!¡± With that, Mushpuff and Bird set off on the beginning of their great adventure. Chapter 4: Bear Pit ¡°So where are we going now?¡± asked Mushpuff, who was sitting on the couch in the living room of the rock spaceship watching TV. ¡°We¡¯re going to Pig Planet, yo!¡± said Bird, who was also sitting on the same couch. ¡°It has supplies we¡¯ll need, and also we can probably hire people there.¡± ¡°Wait, who¡¯s flying the ship?¡± asked Mushpuff. It was a reasonable question. Then all of a sudden there was a loud bang and now the floor was the ceiling. ¡°Darn, we crashed,¡± said Bird. ¡°But we didn¡¯t die because this ship is just about indestructible.¡± ¡°So now what? We just turn the jets back on and keep going?¡± ¡°No because look over there,¡± said Bird, pointing to a blinking red light above the door to the control room. ¡°That means we don¡¯t have enough fuel to get into orbit.¡± ¡°So we¡¯re stranded?¡± ¡°Yup. Might as well walk outside and find out where we are.¡± The two complete friends stood up and walked out of the front door, which was rather upside down at the moment, making exiting through it a tad awkward. When Mushpuff and Bird were fully out the door, they were able to see what was outside. The spaceship had crashed onto an almost perfectly flat expanse of stone. Every here and there were oddly-shaped protrusions of rock which extended upwards for around 10-20 meters. The ground they were standing on was slanted slightly which made them very dizzy. If a ball were to be put on the ground, it would roll away forever. The sky of this place was a very light green, and gravity was lower than Mushpuff and Bird were used to. ¡°Well how are we supposed to find fuel here?¡± asked Mushpuff. ¡°What does this spaceship even run on, anyway?¡± ¡°Ketchup.¡± ¡°Oh hey look!¡± said Mushpuff, pointing to a billboard neither of them noticed before. The billboard had text on it, which went as follows: ¡°THE BEARS ON THIS PLANET HAVE KETCHUP FOR BLOOD.¡± ¡°Great, now we just gotta kill a bear, yo.¡± said Bird. ¡°Where bear?¡± After some thinking, the gang decided to walk around and search for bears. After approximately 53 seconds of walking they encountered a ravine with a sign in front of it: ¡°Bear Pit, home of bears.¡± There was a staircase carved into the side of the ravine, so down they went. At the bottom of the ravine, which was about 10 meters deep and 3 meters across, was just a flat area they could walk around which had, according to their calculations, zero bears. However there was a doorway carved into one of the sides of the ravine. Interestingly, this doorway led to a small room. I don¡¯t know why that is interesting, but maybe someone finds it as such. The room stretched downwards into a pit filled with a ton of bears!! There was a railing near the entrance where viewers could watch the bears safely. Then the bears spoke to Mushpuff and Bird. If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. ¡°Help!¡± said the bears. ¡°We¡¯re stuck in this pit because it smells like food! And we were hungry! Let us free!¡± ¡°Gosh, I think we have to let them free, Bird.¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Yes, I suppose we do.¡± Bird pressed the designated BEAR-FREEING BUTTON, conveniently located on a nearby wall. The floor of the pit began to rise. ¡°Yay! They freed us!¡± exclaimed the bears. ¡°Now we¡¯re finally free and can return to Bear Fortress and reconnect with our families and friends!¡± Then Bird pulled an epic move and pressed the BEAR-KILLING BUTTON, located on the opposite wall. The floor of the pit rose at an extremely high speed and crushed all the bears against the ceiling. Ketchup splattered all over the walls. Mushpuff and Bird gathered as much as they could before turning to the exit. But then the platform lowered¡­ and it turns out one of the bears survived! ¡°What have you done??¡± said the bear. ¡°Those were my friends! We spent 10 years in that pit together! I will kill you!¡± The bear charged towards the cat and penguin, and the latter two had already begun running away. The bear chased Mushpuff and Bird up the steps and onto the ground, where there was a straight shot to their spaceship. BUT THE BEAR WAS GAINING ON THEM!!!! The difference between protagonists and spaceship shrank, but so did the distance between them and bear!! 30 meters to spaceship¡­ 5 meters to bear¡­ 20 meters to spaceship¡­ 3 meters to bear¡­ 10 meters to spaceship¡­ 1.5 meters to bear¡­ 5 meters to spaceship¡­!!!!! 0.5 meters to BEAR!!!! Just as the cat and penguin leaped into the door, it closed right behind them, cutting the bear in half and yet again splattering ketchup everywhere. Bird walked over to a pipe on the side of the room (which was still upside down) and poured a bunch of ketchup into it. Immediately the ship turned on and all the lights and stuff activated. ¡°Alright now we¡¯re back on track,¡± said Bird. ¡°Next time I will make sure to actually fly the ship.¡± ¡°Yay,¡± said cat. Meanwhile, in Bear Fortress¡­ In the highest room of the tallest tower of Bear Fortress was The Bear King, king of all bears on the planet of Bear Stone Planet. He was sitting on throne and being bored. But then a bear walked through the door in front of him with an urgent message. ¡°Bear King! I have an urgent message!¡± ¡°What???¡± responded The Bear King, king of all bears on the planet of Bear Stone Planet. ¡°We found the missing bears who disappeared ten years ago! Your son was among them!¡± ¡°Oh my god where were they??¡± ¡°In some random pit. BUT that¡¯s not all!¡± ¡°What????? REALLY??? What¡¯s all??¡± asked The Bear King, king of all bears on the planet of Bear Stone Planet. ¡°They have been¡­ MURDERED.¡± ¡°NO!¡± ¡°But there¡¯s good news,¡± said the only non-king bear in the room. ¡°The murderers have been located. They have left the planet, but the upper half of one of the bears from the pit remains in their ship, and there is a tracking device in its head.¡± ¡°Send out the Bearmy, Bear Army. I must avenge my son, The Bear Prince,¡± said The Bear King, king of all bears on the planet of Bear Stone Planet. ¡°Wait, there was a tracking device in that bear¡¯s head the whole time?¡± ¡°... yes,¡± said the messenger. Approximately 12 seconds of silence followed. Then messenger bear pulled out a walkie-talkie and spoke into it: ¡°send out the Bearmy, Bear Army.¡± A voice came through from the other side: ¡°sending out the Bearmy, Bear Army.¡± At the base of Bear Fortress, a massive door opened and five bearships emerged, flying away into the sky. Chapter 5: Plagiarize Bird was teaching Mushpuff how to fly the rock spaceship so he could take breaks every now and then when suddenly there was a knock at the door. ¡°How very peculiar,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Indeed,¡± said Bird, who walked over to the door and opened it. Outside was a human riding a horse which was riding some sort of contraption that looked like a magic glowy snowboard thing but had boosters on the back and some cogs because cogs = fun. ¡°Um?¡± Bird said. ¡°Hi,¡± said the human, who had a long beard and luscious blue eyes and looked to be about 30 years old. ¡°Who?¡± asked Bird. ¡°My name is Plagiarize,¡± said Plagiarize the human. ¡°How are you here, yo? And why?¡± ¡°Well I was stranded on Bear Stone Planet and saw you crash so I was going to meet you there but then you were running past and being chased by bear so I decided it was not such a great idea. But then the door shut and I couldn¡¯t get in so I just climbed onto the side of the ship. Then it took off.¡± This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it. ¡°Okay, okay, okay,¡± said Bird. ¡°But how did you get here?¡± ¡°That¡¯s quite a long story, but may I enter your ship to tell it? Because I am kinda running low on oxygen.¡± Bird let Plagiarize in and Mushpuff stopped the spaceship (it was still moving). The three of them went into the living room to hear the story Plagiarize supposedly had and which was supposedly long. ¡°It all began long ago,¡± began Plagiarize, ¡°when I was born on the planet of Earth. When I was in school I would always plagiarize things and fail every assignment so people would call me Plagiarize. They called me that so much that my original name was forgotten. Even the government forgot it. Even my parents. It¡¯s tragic, I know. I became very poor due to failing school from plagiarizing too much and I had a very bad reputation so nobody would hire me. I lived on the streets. Then one day I was sad and depressed and stuff so I stole a space horse and ran away into space. Then I got lost for about 10 years. The end.¡± ¡°That¡¯s just tragic, yo,¡± said Bird. ¡°But I have a once in a lifetime offer for you.¡± ¡°What is it?¡± ¡°Come with us on our quest and we will bring you back home.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t wanna go back to Earth, it sucks,¡± said Plagiarize, whose opinions were very agreeable. ¡°Okay then just join us because our journey will probably be more fun than your pathetic life,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°It sure is better than my life was before!¡± ¡°Alright, I will join you,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°What¡¯s the quest about though?¡± Bird then explained the whole thing over again, but this time with the more recent part about the rock planet and the bear pit. And that is how Plagiarize came to be the third member of their team. Now they set off for Pig Planet, being followed by absolutely no bears whatsoever. Chapter 6: Pig City A few hours later, the gang had arrived on Pig Planet and landed in a spaceship garage. This planet was millions of light years away, but spaceships in this story are faster than light. Much, much faster. The spaceship garage they found themselves in was an extremely large building, about 5 kilometers across on each side and 1 kilometer tall. Spaceships were parked on massive shelf-like structures which extended from the floor to the ceiling, and one of the walls of the building was missing, letting you fly out. Elevators carried people up and down the shelves. Plagiarize left his space horse on the ship for safe keeping. Upon opening one of the many ground-level doors on the sides of the garage, the gang was met with their first extraordinary sight of Pig City. Hundreds of buildings and skyscrapers were everywhere, and a lot of the skyscrapers were so high they went beyond the clouds. Not only were there all sorts of vehicles on the streets, but there were flying trains going through the air. Pigs walked everywhere, going about their daily lives. To say the city was bustling would have been an understatement. ¡°These pigs must be far superior to humans,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°There isn¡¯t even any pollution whatsoever. And the traffic is super smooth! Omg I love this place already.¡± Mushpuff, being from a planet with many cities, could understand and relate to what Plagiarize was saying, but Bird was entirely lost. On his planet there were only small towns with a few igloos here and there. There were no cars and he had never even heard of pollution. It was at this moment that Mushpuff¡¯s eyes fell upon a certain store called Very Big Very Good Store?. It was not hard to miss because it was directly across the street and had many flashing neon signs with arrows and words such as ¡°BIG!¡± and ¡°GOOD!¡± and ¡°VERY!¡± and ¡°STORE!¡± and ¡°SALE!¡± and ¡°STUFF!¡± and ¡°FREE CHEESE SAMPLES!¡± and ¡°ARCADE!¡± Before Bird and Plagiarize knew what was happening, Mushpuff was dragging them towards the store. They were pulled across the street (miraculously not getting hit by a single vehicle) and to the front of the store. ¡°No, Mushpuff!¡± said Bird. ¡°We are here to get supplies for our journey! We must save our money!¡± ¡°But¡­ PLEASE?!??!?¡± said Mushpuff, giving Bird some very cute kitten eyes. Bird could not resist and the three of them walked into Very Big Very Good Store?. Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there. Meanwhile, in the Emergency Lookout Station of Pig City, a pig sat at the top of the very tall lookout tower, which was above the clouds. The air was very cold up here and she had to wear a coat and the top of the tower was enclosed in an Oxygen Bubble, a magic bubble surrounding the tower to provide oxygen which was nearly invisible, allowing for easy lookout-ing. ¡°I hate my life and I want to kill myself,¡± said the pig to herself as she sat at the top of the tower. She had to sit at this tower for 12 hours every day and she had no family or friends. Just then something appeared in the sky. Five somethings, rather. ¡°Hmm, I wonder what those are?¡± said the pig. She looked through her binoculars at the objects. ¡°Spaceships, I see. But they are not going towards the garage?? They are heading straight towards the massive energy shield surrounding Pig City which protects us from the harsh weather conditions of Pig Planet??? Are we all gonna die????¡± she pulled the alarm and jumped with joy at the fact that she might die. Then she jumped off the edge of the lookout tower because she wanted to die sooner. The pig¡¯s suspicions were correct. Out above the energy shield surrounding Pig City, in the middle of the eternal darkness of the thunderstorm, five Bear Army ships were flying at high speeds towards the shield. Then they launched missiles from the front of their ships¡­ missiles made with BEAR TECHNOLOGY! ABLE TO TAKE DOWN ENERGY SHIELDS!!! The missiles exploded in brilliant flashes of light and the shield started to come down. The 100 mph wind, rain, and constant lightning began to strike Pig City. From the ground looking up, one would see a massive rip straight through the bright sunlight, for the shield created fake sunlight using technology. And that¡¯s logic. From beyond the rip one would only be able to see dark, dark clouds and constant lightning. This is what pigs on the ground saw as they ran for the Pig Bunker (because the alarm was going off). When the alarm went off, the gang was inside of Very Big Very Good Store?. Since they had no idea what was happening, they assumed it was a drill and continued shopping despite the fact that hundreds of pigs were running past them towards the exit. It was only when they heard sounds that were suspiciously similar to explosion sounds that they went outside. What they saw caused them to make the very smart decision of going back inside, because a lot more than 5 bear ships were flying everywhere, launching missiles in all directions and destroying everything. There were hundreds of them. ¡°I think we oughta stay here and hope this building doesn¡¯t explode,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°If we went outside they would see us and shoot us.¡± ¡°Great idea, yo,¡± said Bird. Just then a sound happened. It sounded like a pig at terminal velocity crashing through 50 floors of a building and landing at the bottom and then saying ¡°ow.¡± And it turns out that¡¯s just what it was. Chapter 7: The Escape All three of the friends screamed because they thought they were about to die. They kept screaming and freaking out until they found out what made the sound, which was a pig who had fallen through 50 floors of the building and landed at the bottom. It turns out this was the very same pig from before - the one who jumped off the lookout tower. ¡°Gosh darn it all I wanted to do was to die,¡± said the pig. ¡°Who are you?¡± asked human, Plagiarize. The other two were about to make these exact same noises from their mouths but Plagiarize had faster speaking reflexes. Both of them had already started saying it though, so they just cut themselves off after saying ¡°who?¡±, making for a very awkward and unintended echo of what Plagiarize said. ¡°Ummm¡­¡± said the pig. ¡°I kinda just wanted to die so I jumped off a lookout tower.¡± ¡°May I present a once in a lifetime offer to you?¡± asked Bird. ¡°Sure, what?¡± ¡°Join us on our quest and I promise it will be worth it,¡± said Bird. ¡°Just listen to these positive reviews of our quest so far!¡± ¡°Very fun, can confirm,¡± said cat. ¡°Very fun, can confirm,¡± said human. ¡°Alright but I still want to die,¡± said the pig. ¡°But what¡¯s the quest about, and what are your names? Mine is Snorter.¡± ¡°Here is the story so far,¡± said Bird, who proceeded to tell the entire story so far. ¡°And here¡¯s our names,¡± and he explained the names of everyone. ¡°That is just so peculiar,¡± said Snorter. Just then there was a loud bang followed by another bang. This second bang was a Bearmy spaceship crashing sideways into the side of the building the gang was in and landing on the ground mere meters from them. It was wrecked because the first bang was lightning hitting it. ¡°Hmm I sure hope that doesn¡¯t explode,¡± said every member of the gang at once, and then the spaceship exploded. Luckily it didn¡¯t hurt any of the main characters because they had plot armor, but it damaged the building and now it was starting to fall down. A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. ¡°Oh no! It¡¯s falling!¡± yelled Mushpuff over the sound of the building collapsing. ¡°We must get out of here!¡± Everything inside the building was on fire and the gang ran as fast as they could to the front door, dodging falling pieces of ceiling as they went. ¡°Ooh, fire!¡± said Snorter, stopping in front of a burning object. She tried to walk into it but was pulled away by Bird. ¡°Bird and Snorter!¡± yelled Mushpuff and Plagiarize from the door. ¡°Get over here! The door is about to collapse!¡± Bird picked up Snorter and threw her at the door but missed by about 5 meters and she smacked into the wall next to the door at a high enough velocity to go straight through. ¡°OH NOO!¡± yelled Bird, running to the door. ¡°I¡¯M NOT GONNA MAKE IT!¡± The door proceeded to collapse, but so did the entire wall it was connected to. It fell forwards but didn¡¯t squash Mushpuff, Plagiarize, or Snorter because they were standing where holes in the wall were conveniently located. ¡°OH WAIT I¡¯M GONNA MAKE IT NOW!¡± said Bird. Then he made it, just in time to see the building collapse behind him. The four friends looked around at the city. It was in ruins. The sky was dark and rain fell from it. Despite this, many buildings were on fire. Lightning was crashing all around them. They had to struggle against the strong wind to stay in one spot. Bearmy ships were flying all over the place, sprinkling explosives on the ground, but many of them were crashing because of the lightning. Luckily for the gang, the ship garage where they had parked their ship was blast resistant so no ships could be damaged. Many of the ships inside were escaping (or rather the people whom the ships belonged to were escaping, not the ships themselves). ¡°We gotta get to the ship garage, yo!¡± yelled Bird over the sound of rain, explosions, and thunder. The gang then ran to the ship garage in a very intense running scene. Except nobody was chasing them, so it wasn¡¯t very intense. They made it to the garage without any injuries or anything going wrong whatsoever. Except for the fact that Plagiarize was missing an arm. ¡°Um guys???¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°No time to speak!¡± said Bird. ¡°We gotta get to the ship before something explodes or something!¡± The gang made their way back to where their spaceship was parked and Plagiarize was bleeding all over the place as they ran. When they all got inside and Bird powered up the ship, Mushpuff and Snorter noticed Plagiarize¡¯s missing arm. ¡°Oh golly!¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°You¡¯re kinda missing something there.¡± ¡°I¡¯m aware,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°I think we need a doctor.¡± Then Plagiarize decided to faint. ¡°Oh no he has fainted!¡± said Snorter. ¡°Now what?¡± ¡°What¡¯s going on back there???¡± yelled Bird from the control room as he activated the hyper engines. ¡°Plagiarize lost an arm!¡± yelled Mushpuff back. ¡°There¡¯s blood all over the place!!¡± ¡°BLOOD??? Oh no I can¡¯t handle the thought of blood!¡± Bird then fainted. Chapter 8: Snow Field Luckily, the rock spaceship had emergency parachutes and unlike the last crash Mushpuff was aware of them because of Bird¡¯s teaching and ran into the control room to press the button. The ship was merely 100 meters from the surface of some random planet when the parachutes activated and the ship slowly floated down to the ground. The descent was very slow and eventually the spaceship touched the ground in the most graceful and light way possible. As soon as this happened, it exploded and flipped upside down extremely violently. ¡°OH MY GOD!¡± yelled Mushpuff, who was on the ceiling with everyone else. ¡°I forgot about the button that prevents the spaceship from flailing when it touches the ground!¡± Just then Bird woke up due to being forcefully slammed against every single wall when the spaceship crashed. ¡°My bad,¡± said the penguin. ¡°Blood is not my thing. Where are we now?¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t we find out?¡± Mushpuff asked, opening the door. ¡°Let¡¯s just hope there¡¯s a hospital.¡± The sight that the eight eyes inside the spaceship saw was very blinding due to a factor known as Sun on Snow. They were crashed on a massive flat field of snow. It was snowing lightly, and in the distance were large mountains. Luckily, on those mountains was also a town of some sort. Unluckily, those mountains were like 15 kilometers away or something. Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation. The gang decided to walk to the town in hopes of finding a hospital and ketchup. Luckily, nobody had to carry Plagiarize because his space horse was still there and it could carry his unconscious body on its back. ¡°Gee, it sure is unusual how flat this snow is,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°I wonder what the ground underneath it looks like!¡± He brushed away some of the snow and screamed because it was ice underneath. And it was cracking. He looked backwards just in time to see the top of the spaceship dip under the water after having broken the ice because it (the spaceship) was fat and heavy. Unfortunately, Plagiarize¡¯s space horse was also fat and heavy, and at that moment there was a loud cracking noise. ¡°RUN!!!!¡± yelled Mushpuff. The gang began to run as the ice behind them cracked open. Luckily for the horse, it was fast enough to beat the cracking of the ice. The rest of the gang was in big trouble. Thus began the very intense chase scene. After about 10 minutes of nonstop running, the space horse had made it all the way to the shore of the lake. Also it can fly. I kinda forgot about that. So it just flew there really. The rest of the gang was getting very tired and they weren¡¯t even 1 kilometer into the run. Also the ice behind them was still breaking apart and it was catching up. Luckily, space horses have somewhat decent intelligence and it came up with an epic plan: 1: fly to the gang. 2: get them all on the back of horse. 3: fly to the shore. 4: yay. The space horse started flying back towards the gang and reached them after about 10 seconds. Mushpuff jumped on with ease. Snorter came next. But there was not enough room for Bird on the horse¡¯s back! Even worse, the broken ice caught up to them and the space horse had to fly into the air to avoid falling in the freezing water. BUT BIRD FELL IN!!!! Chapter 9: Christmas Spiders Of course, if you, the reader, are not stupid, you may know that penguins were kinda designed to swim in deep freezing water, so Bird safely made it to the shore within 10 minutes, easy squeezy lemon peasy. When he inevitably made it to the shore, Mushpuff and Snorter were baking Lemon Peasy and anticipating Bird¡¯s arrival because they knew he was a penguin and wouldn''t die. Plagiarize was still unconscious and bleeding. ¡°Okay we should probably get on the horse and go to town before Plagiarize dies,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°I know but this Lemon Peasy is sooo good!¡± said Snorter in absolute pleasure because of how good the Lemon Peasy tasted. She was stuffing it in her mouth like a pig. Hahaha see what I did there?? I¡¯m so funny. The gang all got on the horse (Bird hung off of one of its feet), and Snorter brought the remaining three slices of Lemon Peasy with her for the journey. By the time they arrived at the town like 5 minutes later, the sun was setting on the lake and Snorter had finished all the slices. The town was built at a 60 degree angle or so on the side of the mountain, about half a kilometer above sea level, but still only halfway up the mountain. Tons of colored lights on strings were strung between all the houses and it was quite beautiful. In the center of town was a massive pointy tree covered in colorful glass balls, golden ribbons, more electric lights on strings, red-and-white striped candy shaped like hooks, and at the top, a massive golden star. The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. The gang was in awe. None of them knew what Christmas was, so this was a new sight for them. Plagiarize knew but he was unconscious. The three conscious members (and the horse) stood and stared at the tree for a good 5 minutes before the spiders found them. ¡°What are you doing in our town??¡± asked one of the many massive spiders from the crowd of massive spiders standing around them. ¡°How did you find us?¡± ¡°We kinda crashed here, yo,¡± said Bird. ¡°And now we simply need medical attention.¡± ¡°I think not!¡± said a booming voice from far in the back of the crowd, which was making its way forwards. When it made it to the front, the person to whom it belonged was revealed: a massive spider with a massive beard, black leather boots, and a big red fuzzy hat with a white ball at the top. ¡°I am Spider Santa, the mayor of Christmas Town and the King of Christmas. If you wish to go, you must complete the three Christmas Trials.¡± ¡°We don¡¯t wish to go, we wish for medical help!¡± said Bird. ¡°Our friend lost an arm! And we also need ketchup for our ship. Oh, and our ship! We need help getting it out of the frozen lake! I guess there¡¯s a lot we need.¡± ¡°Very well,¡± said Spider Santa. ¡°We will provide an arm. Then you all must complete the three Christmas Trials. If you don¡¯t, we will throw you off the side of the mountain.¡± ¡°Why do we have to do the Christmas Trials to earn our freedom?¡± asked Mushpuff. ¡°Shut up.¡± Chapter 10: The Christmas Trials The space horse was put in a stable for its safety and Spider Santa retrieved an arm for Plagiarize. The arm looked rather spider-like, but it fit Plagiarize and he was perfectly fine and awake within minutes. Then the gang was led to the location of the first Christmas Trial, which was a pond near the edge of Christmas town. The pond was half frozen and very cold. There were lights in it so they could see, because it was still night. ¡°For the first Christmas Trial,¡± began Spider Santa, ¡°four rings will be thrown into this pond. Each ring shall have a name on it - one for each of you. Each of you must retrieve the ring with your name on it. But beware, for there are chompy fish in the water. If you fail to retrieve your ring, you FAIL the first trial.¡± He then took four plastic rings and threw them into the water. ¡°Begin!¡± Bird leaped into the water and within 10 seconds he was out again, holding his ring. He did not get bitten by a single chompy fish. Because Bird made it look easy, Plagiarize, Mushpuff, and Snorter all jumped in after his flawless demonstration. After 3 worrying minutes, Mushpuff emerged. He looked very funny with wet fur, and he was holding his ring. He had many bites all over him. Next came Plagiarize, who had even more bites and was holding a ring, but it was Snorter¡¯s ring. As for Snorter, she had sunk to the bottom of the pond and Spider Santa had to reach his arm in and pull her out. She had seven chompy fish attached to her skin and they had to be painfully removed. ¡°Bird and Mushpuff, you have passed the first Christmas Trial,¡± said Spider Santa. ¡°You shall continue on to the next one. Plagiarize and Snorter, you have failed and shall be thrown off the cliff.¡± ¡°No wait don¡¯t do that!¡± yelled Mushpuff. ¡°They¡¯re our friends!¡± ¡°Sorry, but rules are rules.¡± ¡°Surely we can come to some sort of agreement?¡± suggested the cat. ¡°Mushpuff, if you fail either of the next two Christmas Trials, all four of you will be thrown off the cliff. Succeed and none of you will be thrown off. That is my deal.¡± ¡°Very well!¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°I am an expert at Christmas Trials.¡± The four of them were taken to the site of the next Christmas Trial and Plagiarize and Snorter were put in the audience. They were the only audience members. The site of the second Christmas Trial was unusual - it was a massive soccer field, complete with giant lights, and two horses were on the field. Mushpuff and Bird were given simple instructions: they must each mount a horse. Then a ball shall be placed in the middle of the field. The first person to get the ball in the other¡¯s goal wins. However, the ground is ice. Additionally, it¡¯s raining bananas. Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators! The cat and the penguin both mounted their horses and made their way to their respective sides of the field. A whistle was blown and the bananas started falling. Bird knew that Mushpuff needed to win this, so he attempted to move his horse out of the way, giving Mushpuff a free shot. Since he didn¡¯t know how to control a horse, and since the ground was ice, his horse ended up running towards the ball. Meanwhile, Mushpuff was also struggling to control his horse, which had been hit in the face with numerous bananas. After a time, his horse started going left. Bird¡¯s horse had reached the ball, but it was freaking out because of the ice and bananas and it accidentally sat on the ball, deflating it. The horse, with the ball under its butt, slid towards Mushpuff¡¯s goalpost. ¡°NO!¡± yelled Bird. ¡°BAD HORSE!¡± He started slapping it in the face with a banana, causing it to panic and run around like crazy. Eventually the ball fell off its butt. Mushpuff got a hang of controlling his horse and ran towards the ball. The horse hit it, but it was off and went to the right of Bird¡¯s goal. By now there were so many bananas that the ground was almost entirely covered with them and the smell of squashed bananas was strong in the air. Spider Santa sprayed himself with Christmas Perfume to keep his Santa smell. After many struggles and even more bananas, Mushpuff eventually got the ball in Bird¡¯s goal. As a result, he technically won, but Spider Santa knew Bird was letting him win so he slapped Bird with every banana in the field, and there were thousands of them. Now it was finally time for the FINAL CHRISTMAS TRIAL. The gang was taken to the site of the final trial. It was a large moat of water in a perfect circle. In the center was an island with grass. The instructions: Mushpuff and Bird would each be given a long stick and they would be thrown onto the island. They must then try to knock the other one off of the island with their sticks. However! The island is rigged with landmines, marked with X¡¯s painted on the grass. Landmines must be avoided. However! The island is being slowly lowered and will soon plunge into the water, which is actually burning acid. However! Mushpuff was not going up against Bird, because Bird was a cheater for letting him win. Instead, he would be going up against some random snail with legs named Yemton. Let the game begin! Mushpuff and Yemton were flung onto the island by Spider Santa and it started lowering. There was only 1 minute until the island was underwater, so if neither player won by then, they¡¯d both die. Mushpuff expected this to be super easy because Yemton was a snail and snails are slow. As it turned out, he was right. He took one stab at Yemton with his stick and the snail fell backwards into a landmine, causing himself to be instantly obliterated. The island was covered with snail goo and Mushpuff was victorious. Chapter 11: The Presents Mushpuff won and therefore Spider Santa had to rescue their spaceship, which he did with his long arm. He simply flew over on his sleigh and reached his arm in that water real good until he found a spaceship and yanked it out. Then he took it back to Christmas Town and plopped it on the ground. As for the ketchup, that was Spider Santa¡¯s favorite food, so he had plenty to spare. ¡°Well, it was nice having you guys here in Christmas Town,¡± said Santa. ¡°Bro are you serious?¡± said Bird. ¡°We almost died! Because of you! You wanted to throw us off a freaking cliff!¡± ¡°But it was all in good fun!¡± said Spider Santa with a jolly chuckle. ¡°In the end, nobody got hurt.¡± ¡°Yeah, but we could¡¯ve been hurt.¡± ¡°Oh ho ho! Shut up. Here, have a present, each of you!¡± Spider Santa reached into his sack which he had this entire time and pulled out four wrapped presents. He handed one to Plagiarize, one to Mushpuff, one to Bird, and one to Snorter. ¡°I hope these remind you of your time in Christmas Town when you use them,¡± said Spider Santa. ¡°Farewell now! Please leave! Bye! HO HO HO GET OUT OF MY TOWN!¡± Spider Santa¡¯s somewhat aggressive farewell made the gang leave in a rush, not without their horse of course. Haha that rhymed. ¡°Where are we going now, Bird?¡± asked Mushpuff after they were safely out of the atmosphere of that planet. ¡°Considering Pig City is just about destroyed, where else is there to get spaceship supplies and stuff?¡± ¡°Well, I have heard of this one planet, yo,¡± said Bird. ¡°I¡¯ve heard it has some powerful magical artifacts. I don¡¯t know where it is, but I know someone who does. That¡¯s where we¡¯ll go.¡± ¡°You got it!¡± Mushpuff walked through the door on the back wall of the control room, stepping over the top half of the bear which was still there on the way, and into the living room where Snorter and Plagiarize were waiting for him. They had their presents in front of them and were going to open them. The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. ¡°Alright, let¡¯s open!¡± said Mushpuff. The three friends all opened their gifts at the same time and promptly exploded. Meanwhile, in Christmas Town, Spider Santa was sitting in his home when all of a sudden the roof ceased to exist. A Bearmy ship was there instead, and a bear jumped out of a trapdoor on the bottom. ¡°Are they here???¡± asked the bear. ¡°No, they just left,¡± said Spider Santa. ¡°I gave them a head start to get away from you. I can¡¯t believe you would threaten my life and force me to keep them here until you arrive to take them captive because you knew they would be here because you have a tracking device in their ship! But I disobeyed your orders and let them leave because I like them.¡± ¡°You fool,¡± said the bear. ¡°I rigged the gifts you gave them, so your attempt to keep them alive longer was in vain. Also you betrayed us so you¡¯re kinda dead now.¡± The bear then pulled out a bear sword and sliced all of Spider Santa¡¯s legs off before slicing his body in half. And now we return to Mushpuff and gang, whose spaceship was currently falling to the surface of a nearby planet. Their spaceship, however, was in flames. Because it exploded. Luckily all 4 of the members of the gang survived, and not a single one of them was going to die any time soon, especially not in this chapter. ¡°Oh my god is everyone okay??¡± shouted Mushpuff through the wreckage. Everything was on fire and the smoke was getting all up in his eyes. ¡°I¡¯m over here!¡± said Plagiarize. He was face-down in a puddle of boiling ketchup. Luckily, Plagiarize was heat resistant because someone once tried to set him on fire and he was worried about that happening for a second time so he went to a witch and told her to make him heat resistant. She did, but she also turned his heart into a frog. ¡°But my horse is dead!!¡± I definitely didn¡¯t insert this dialogue 3 months later after realizing I totally forgot about Plagiarize¡¯s space horse. ¡°I¡¯m up here!¡± said Bird, who was running in circles because his hoodie was on fire. ¡°But where¡¯s Snorter?¡± ¡°Over here!¡± yelled Snorter from far off. The gang collected themselves and ran to the source of her voice. She had landed outside the spaceship (which was missing a big chunk) on an extremely convenient patch of rock because this planet was covered in hot magma rocks, lakes of lava, and massive rock spikes protruding into the sky. Speaking of the sky, it was dark red and cloudy here, and the air was hot and hard to breathe. ¡°Well I sure am glad we all survived that, yo,¡± said Bird, whose hoodie was still on fire. ¡°I think you got a little something on your hoodie, Bird,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Oh yeah, I¡¯m on fire. AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!¡± yelled Bird, remembering he was on fire. Plagiarize smacked his hoodie a bunch and it was A-okay. Chapter 12: The Leap of Faith ¡°Well, I suppose we should get back on track,¡± said Plagiarize, who was starting to sweat because it was so hot outside. ¡°Well we have no ship left,¡± said Bird. ¡°We need to either repair it or get a new one. I don¡¯t know how to repair a ship, and I don¡¯t suspect there¡¯s any ships sitting around on this planet.¡± ¡°You never know!¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Let¡¯s explore!!!!¡± he started walking away, towards a massive tower in the distance with lava pouring down its sides. ¡°I don¡¯t know if that¡¯s such a good¡­¡± Bird stopped talking because Plagiarize was following Mushpuff and obviously nobody was listening. And so he followed them into the distance. Along the way, the gang had to step around many puddles of lava and random fires on the ground. Eventually they made it to the tower, which had a dark metal door on its side. Mushpuff opened the door and looked inside the tower. In the center of the room the door opened up into, there was a pedestal, and on it was a glowing yellow cube. All the way up to the ceiling was a massive mechanism of some sort with wires and cogs and all sorts of stuff moving around in wacky ways. There was a large label on this machine that read ¡°POWER EXTRACTION MACHINE - DO NOT TURN OFF.¡± The machine was connected to the yellow cube, so one could assume that the machine was extracting power from it. That assumption would be correct. This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version. ¡°Wowzers, this is not what I was expecting,¡± said Mushpuff, looking up at the contraption. ¡°But why is this here?? And where is all that power going?¡± ¡°Maybe that trapdoor knows,¡± said Plagiarize, pointing to a trapdoor in front of the pedestal with the cube on it. ¡°But why is it labeled as¡­¡± ¡°Cheese factory?¡± Mushpuff said, finishing Plagiarize¡¯s sentence. He started walking towards it. ¡°Let¡¯s find out!¡± ¡°I¡¯ve got a bad feeling about all this, yo,¡± said Bird, following Snorter who was following Plagiarize who was following Mushpuff. ¡°But I guess there¡¯s nothing else we can do.¡± ¡°Yeah, relax, dude!¡± Mushpuff opened the trapdoor and jumped down. That was a very bad decision on his part, because if he used his eyes, he would¡¯ve seen that there was a ladder. Oh well, Mushpuff just lives an adventurous life. ¡°ARE YOU OKAY DOWN THERE?¡± yelled Plagiarize down the pit. ¡°YEAH, I¡¯M JUST FALLING!¡± Mushpuff shouted back. Plagiarize heard the word ¡°yeah¡± and before he listened to the rest of the sentence, he had jumped in too. Snorter jumped in directly after him. Bird followed shortly, and as he fell, he accidentally nudged the yellow cube, causing it to fall off the pedestal. The sight they saw as they fell was quite interesting. They were falling through a MASSIVE open area with tons and tons of conveyor belts producing cheese. The area they were in stretched so far in all directions that they couldn¡¯t even see the walls. Just conveyor belts and contraptions to produce cheese. After a full minute of falling, Mushpuff finally hit the bottom and screamed because of what he saw. Chapter 13: The Bottom Mushpuff was screaming at the floor of the cheese factory but he was abruptly silenced as Plagiarize landed on his head, followed by Snorter and then Bird. The bottom of the factory was still dark metal, but the only light sources were some fluorescent lights in the floor, and there were very few of them. ¡°What a long fall!¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°How fortunate that we landed on a giant slice of cheese which cushioned our fall.¡± ¡°OMG I LOVE CHEESE!!¡± said Snorter, eating the entire slice. ¡°Guys, I think we need to run,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Why?¡± asked the other gang members simultaneously. ¡°Dragon,¡± said Mushpuff, pointing in a certain direction. In the direction he was pointing was a large glass box with a dragon inside of it. All the cheese conveyors fed directly into this box, where the dragon was busy chowing down. If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. The gang decided to run in the direction opposite of the dragon because they didn¡¯t want to die. It just so happened that at that very moment, the factory came to a halt because of the lack of power from the glowing yellow cube because Bird knocked it out of place. The dragon roared in the distance because it was out of cheese. Then there was the sound of shattering glass. ¡°AAAAAHHHHHH!!¡± yelled Bird. ¡°I knew this was a bad idea!¡± The dragon unleashed a blinding breath of fire from its mouth, destroying tons of factory equipment and causing a lot of machinery to explode. A pipe directly above Plagiarize exploded, but he was fireproof because of reasons explained previously and he was able to survive. The four friends continued on their path for all of 2 minutes before they reached the edge of the factory. The dragon was destroying everything in its sight because of its rage but hadn¡¯t noticed them yet. The gang found a metal door on the wall but it was locked and they banged on it very loudly. Eventually it was opened for them and behind the door were four fish made of cheese, standing upright on their back fins. Chapter 14: The Reason for Cheese ¡°Yo let us in!¡± yelled Bird at the fish. ¡°There¡¯s a dragon on the loose and it wants to kill us!¡± The fish let them in and locked the door behind them. ¡°How did you find us?¡± asked one of the fish. ¡°Our spaceship crashed here,¡± said Bird. ¡°And then we explored around the place because we needed, like, a new spaceship. Then we found this building and we fell into this cheese factory and next thing we know there¡¯s a dragon trying to kill us.¡± ¡°Answer this question honestly,¡± said one of the fish. ¡°Did you touch anything in the main building on the surface?¡± ¡°Not me,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Not me,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Not me,¡± said Snorter. ¡°Not me,¡± said Bird. ¡°Except my wing might have touched that cube when I was falling down through the trapdoor.¡± ¡°NOOOOOOOO!!¡± shouted all four fish. ¡°What have you done??¡± ¡°How is that relevant to the dragon going on a murderous rampage, yo?¡± ¡°I shall explain,¡± said one of the fish. ¡°A long time ago, our kind lived on the surface of this planet in peace. There were plants and trees and it was beautiful. That was until the dragon came. You see, this dragon really loved to eat cheese. And we are made of cheese. The dragon scouted out fish after fish and destroyed everything with its fire and lava. The four of us, who are really good at engineering and stuff, made a deal with the dragon: if we let it have infinite cheese, it would leave us alone. It took that very literally, as it let us specifically alone. It killed all the other fish. As long as it has cheese, it doesn¡¯t bother anyone.¡± Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators! ¡°And so what was the cube all about, yo?¡± asked Bird. ¡°That cube is an Energy Cube. There are few of them in the universe. They have an extremely high amount of energy stored in them - enough to power an entire civilization for 500 years at least. We are extracting its energy to power the cheese factory.¡± ¡°So there are few of them in the universe and you¡¯re using it to power a freaking cheese factory??¡± asked Bird. ¡°Why not just engineer a spaceship and fly away with the cube?¡± The four fish sat there thinking and realized how dumb they had been this whole time. ¡°You know, that¡¯s kinda genius,¡± said one fish. ¡°Let¡¯s make a deal. We¡¯ll make a ship and the four of us plus the four of you shall escape this planet. But we need a new home. You must drop us off when we find a suitable one.¡± ¡°Deal!¡± said the gang. And thus the deal was declared. ¡°The ship will only take a few hours to construct,¡± said a fish. ¡°But someone has to get up there and put that darn cube back on its pedestal! There¡¯s a ladder in the facility that goes all the way to the surface.¡± ¡°You got it,¡± said Plagiarize, who was the fastest ladder-climber among them, because of the fact that he was a human, and neither a cat, a penguin, nor a fish can move their limbs in the correct way to be able to climb a ladder. Do not question why these fish built a ladder in the first place even though they are completely unable to use them. Speaking of ¡°the facility,¡± that¡¯s the place they were in now. Beyond the walls of the cheese factory was the facility, which was a massive maze of industrial underground tunnels with rooms coming off of them. What was in those rooms, one may ask? That¡¯s top secret. You aren¡¯t allowed to know. So shut up. ¡°Great, we¡¯ll stay here and hide from the dragon until then. As soon as cheese production gets back up and running, the dragon will be calm.¡± Plagiarize entered the door that the fish pointed to and was not surprised to find a ladder. Except this ladder was extremely long. He couldn¡¯t see the top from the bottom. It seemed to extend into infinity. ¡°This is going to hurt,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°You¡¯re right,¡± said the goblin sitting in the corner. Don¡¯t concern yourself with this goblin; he will not appear in this story ever again. Anyways, Plagiarize began climbing the ladder. And then he continued climbing the ladder. In fact, he continued until he stopped continuing due to a factor known as The End of the Ladder, which arrived approximately 2 hours later, at which point all of his limbs were in pain. Chapter 15: Damage x36 At the top of the ladder, Plagiarize was in a tiny shack with a door on it. Upon opening the door, he was outside and on the other side of the tower they entered (the side they didn¡¯t come from). The coast was clear. Plagiarize walked out and suddenly a spotlight was on him. He looked up and saw none other than a Bearmy ship in the sky, pointing its spotlight down at him. Plagiarize ran back to the shack he came from and closed the door, but it was too late. He had already been spotted by the bears. The shack had its roof ripped off, marking the second time a Bearmy ship has ripped the roof off a building in this story, and sent a glass tube down which sucked Plagiarize up with a loud sucking noise. When he reached the top of the glass tube, Plagiarize was inside of a glass box. This box was in a room on the ship. Seven bears wielding swords surrounded the box, and when one spoke, its voice transmitted into the box through a microphone. ¡°If you don¡¯t tell us where your friends who killed the bears of Bear Pit are,¡± said the bear, ¡°then we will kill you! And it will be very painful.¡± ¡°Ruh roh!¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Okay, in the shack I came from, there¡¯s a ladder. They¡¯re in a massive facility at the bottom.¡± He made sure not to mention the dragon to them. ¡°Oh okay lol. But if you¡¯re wrong, then we¡¯re killing you. And your friends.¡± The seven bears entered the glass box through a door and all jumped into the tube. The last one to jump grabbed Plagiarize and forced him to follow. Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original. The eight of them very slowly made their way down the ladder, and by the time they reached the bottom, all of their limbs were in pain. ¡°What the heck happened up there?¡± asked the goblin in the corner. ¡°I don¡¯t remember seven bears going up with you.¡± The eight of them ignored the goblin and went through the door to the facility. Plagiarize made sure to stay at the back. It was smart of him to do that, because on the other side of the door was the dragon, and all the bears were dead within 10 seconds. Plagiarize bolted back up the ladder, and all of his limbs were dying to death. At the top, though, the Bearmy ship was still there, except it was on the ground now. Plagiarize ran into the tower and nudged the Energy Cube right back onto its pedestal. Within a few seconds, the contraption to extract energy from it was back up and running. Plagiarize then jumped down the trapdoor, being careful not to touch the cube. When Plagiarize landed on the slice of cheese at the bottom, he saw that the dragon was happily munching away on its cheese in the glass room just as it was before, except now the glass was broken. Mushpuff, Snorter, Bird, and the four cheese fish greeted him at the bottom. ¡°They¡¯ve finished our new ship!¡± said Mushpuff with excitement. ¡°It¡¯s ready on the surface. Now we just need to get up there.¡± ¡°PLEASE no I¡¯ve already climbed that ladder 3 freaking times,¡± complained Plagiarize. ¡°Oh don¡¯t worry, there¡¯s an elevator,¡± said one of the fish. ¡°Now that power has been restored to the facility, we can use that instead.¡± And so that is just what they all did. They rode the elevator all the way back up to the surface, which only took about 3 minutes. At the top, the gang was greeted with the sight of their new spaceship. Chapter 16: The Bears Have a Meeting As it turned out, the fish took the blueprints from the gang¡¯s old spaceship and built a new one which was exactly identical. Right before leaving, one of the cheese fish took the Energy Cube from its pedestal and took it aboard the ship, because Energy Cubes are extremely valuable. Everyone got on the spaceship (which had a full fuel tank of ketchup) and they set off into space. ¡°Alright, here¡¯s the plan,¡± said Bird, who was driving. Everyone else was listening to him. ¡°We¡¯re going to go to a certain planet I know of. I know someone there. She is going to tell us the location of another planet, which has powerful magic artifacts on it. We can drop off the cheese fish on the first planet because it¡¯s quite suitable for life.¡± Everyone was very much on board with this plan and they all left the control room, leaving Bird alone to pilot the ship. Meanwhile, in Bear Fortress, a meeting was taking place in the meeting room. All the important bears were there. They were discussing the recent disappearance of a Bearmy ship they sent to a planet to follow the gang, and how after that Bearmy ship disappeared, they lost the coordinates of the tracking device. ¡°How are we going to find the traitors now?¡± asked the bear in control of the Bearmy. His name was Ham. ¡°We must attach¡­ ANOTHER TRACKING DEVICE!¡± said another bear in the room, who was in charge of the Tracking Device Department (TDD). ¡°All we have to do is find their ship!¡± Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. ¡°That¡¯s literally what we¡¯re trying to do right now,¡± said Ham. Just then someone slammed the doors of the meeting room open. It was¡­ a BEAR! This bear was in quite a rush because he had very important news. ¡°Everyone listen up!¡± said this bear. ¡°I have important news!¡± ¡°Oy?¡± said every bear in the room in response to this. ¡°I have tracked a large energy signature from the planet where the Bearmy ship disappeared! This large amount of energy could only mean one thing¡­ AN ENERGY CUBE!!¡± The room was filled with shocked gasps of many bears. If they got their hands on an Energy Cube, they could be one of the most powerful civilizations in the universe. However, since Energy Cubes are so valuable, they would become a target. There was already a big war going on because of Energy Cubes. ¡°Which direction was the energy signature going in??????¡± asked Ham. ¡°It was going in¡­ a certain direction!¡± More shocked gasps echoed around the room. ¡°Using smart math, I have found the five most likely planets they are heading towards. We just need to scout them all out.¡± Ham pulled out a walkie-talkie and spoke into it: ¡°Send out the Bearmy, Bear Army.¡± ¡°Sending out the Bearmy, Bear Army,¡± said a voice on the other side. Chapter 17: Hoofa The gang and the cheese fish arrived at their target planet after a few hours of travel. The planet was quite a couple of galaxies away. Halfway through, Bird went to bed and Mushpuff took over as pilot. When they arrived, Mushpuff woke Bird and he landed them on the planet. All eight individuals in the ship exited and took a look around. The planet they found themselves on had orange moss covering the ground, and it was super hilly. The planet had three moons, except one of them was shattered into many pieces. The sky was purple. Massive purple cliffs could be seen in the distance, and just in front of them was a town. ¡°That¡¯s our final destination,¡± said Bird. ¡°Let¡¯s get back in the spaceship and fly closer to town so we don¡¯t have to walk.¡± ¡°That¡¯s actually genius,¡± said Plagiarize. So that is exactly what they did. They flew closer to the town. I don¡¯t know why I¡¯m dragging this part on so long. Bird led the gang through the town, which was made of houses. He stopped in front of one of the houses. ¡°This is the house, yo.¡± He knocked on the door and waited for about 10 seconds before it opened and everyone gasped. Behind the door was¡­ a dog. It was a WIENER DOG, and it was bipedal just like Mushpuff. ¡°Bro what the actual fuck?¡± said the dog, who was clearly very tired and was not expecting to find a human, a cat, a pig, and four fish made of cheese behind her door, accompanied by her friend she hadn¡¯t seen in years. ¡°Yo what up Hoofa?¡± said Bird as a greeting. ¡°I know it¡¯s been a while but we need your help.¡± ¡°I¡¯m gonna need some MAJOR context, yo,¡± said the dog, whose name was Hoofa. She opened her door wide to let everyone inside. Hoofa¡¯s house was very cozy. It was made of wood and it had a table, some chairs, a couch, and a fireplace. Yeah that¡¯s literally all it had, and it was all crammed in one room, so it was quite packed, making for a very cozy experience. Covering the floor were empty cans of dog food, and one of the corners of the room had a massive pile of them. ¡°Alright now give me some context,¡± said Hoofa. ¡°Okay I will tell you everything you need to know,¡± said Bird, who proceeded to tell the entire story, with help from the rest of the gang because he was tired of telling the entire story to people. ¡°Ah, I see,¡± said Hoofa. ¡°So you¡¯re trying to defeat the Cow Galaxy, you have an army of bears coming after you, and you want directions to the planet of Smack-Smork so you can gather powerful magical artifacts so you can have a chance of defeating everyone you want to defeat?¡± This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience. ¡°That¡¯s just about it,¡± said Bird. ¡°It seems like you¡¯re in quite a sticky situation. You know, I used to be quite powerful back in my day. Say¡­ if I join you on your adventure, you definitely won¡¯t regret it. How about it?¡± ¡°Yeah!!!!¡± exclaimed Bird. ¡°Another member joins the gang!¡± ¡°The gang?¡± ¡°That¡¯s what I¡¯m calling it! Anyways, these fish will live in this village now. Bye, fish!¡± With that, the gang kicked the four fish out of Hoofa¡¯s house. Then Hoofa went over to the fireplace and pulled a secret lever. ¡°Behold!¡± she said, and the fireplace opened up. Behind it were stairs going down. ¡°My secret lair full of secret things! I haven¡¯t been down here in at least 5 years.¡± The gang made their way down the stairs, and Hoofa closed the fireplace behind them so nobody could sneak in and assassinate them. At the bottom of the stairs was a small room with some shelves. On the shelves were books. The room was very dank and water was dripping from the ceiling, which was starting to grow stalactites. ¡°How old is this room, exactly?¡± asked Bird, looking at the stalactites on the roof. ¡°I don¡¯t know, dude!¡± said Hoofa. ¡°It was here when I moved into the house. I don¡¯t really question it. Anyways, here¡¯s the map we need.¡± She went to a shelf and pulled off a mysterious crinkly scroll which was covered with dust. Hoofa blew on it and all the dust came off in a satisfying puff which landed directly in Plagiarize¡¯s face. Hoofa opened the scroll, which was a map leading directly to the planet they needed to go to. ¡°Hmm¡­¡± said Hoofa, looking at the map very intensely. ¡°Hmmmmmmmm¡­ huh¡­ well¡­ I suppose¡­ yes! Okay. I know just how to get there.¡± ¡°Okay, great!¡± said Bird. ¡°Just guide me as I pilot the ship, yo.¡± ¡°Nonsense! I¡¯ll fly it!¡± said Hoofa. ¡°I¡¯m a trained pilot.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s go then!¡± ¡°Right now, yo?¡± asked Hoofa. ¡°No time to spare. We¡¯re being chased by bears, as you know.¡± The gang made their way out of Hoofa¡¯s dank basement and were met with a horrific sight. Hoofa¡¯s house¡­ WAS EXACTLY WHERE THEY LEFT IT, AND IT WAS IN THE EXACT SAME CONDITION AS IT WAS WHEN THEY LEFT IT. Hoofa walked into her garage and came out riding an elephant. ¡°Gang, meet my elephant. His name is Gumpton. He and I always go everywhere together, except when ¡®everywhere¡¯ refers to the inside of my house. Or at least since The Incident.¡± The gang then made their way to the spaceship, and it was a little awkward trying to fit Gumpton into the front door, but they eventually managed it after a bit of tugging. At the exact moment Hoofa engaged the hyper engines, a Bearmy ship disengaged its hyper engines because of the fact that it had just arrived at the planet where they just left. Chapter 18: Sand, Spikes, Soup, and a Sandstorm The bear got out of its ship and walked into Hoofa¡¯s hometown. It saw four fish made of cheese walking around, which was a little bizarre, but one comes to expect bizarre things when traveling around the universe. It looked into the windows of a couple houses before noticing something weird. Behind the fireplace in one of the houses was a secret entryway that someone stupidly left open. The bear walked inside and went down, where it found an open scroll on the floor of the basement. The bear took the scroll and ran back to its ship to report back to the other bears on its findings. Meanwhile, the gang was traveling through space very splendidly. Nothing had gone wrong yet, but that was not about to be the case because of the fact that Hoofa had forgotten how to pilot a spaceship because she hadn¡¯t done so in many years. Therefore, they all crashed onto a random planet, which has definitely not happened yet in this story. Luckily this time Bird ran into the control room and slammed the parachute button as well as the button which prevented the ship from exploding upon touching the ground. Unfortunately, the spaceship landed on top of the fuel tank and all the ketchup spilled onto the ground. It would¡¯ve been safe but the ground was made of sand and all the ketchup seeped into the sand and it was a no-go. Upon landing, the gang walked out of the door of the rock spaceship (Hoofa was riding her elephant), and they all took a jolly look around the place. It was a desert. It was all desert. In front of them, slightly to the left, was a completely random row of palm trees which had no relevance to the plot whatsoever.. But what did have relevance were the three incredibly massive spikes in the distance beyond the irrelevant row of palm trees. They protruded far into the sky, perhaps a kilometer or two high, and the one in the center was slightly taller. Above the three spikes was a rift in the sky. It was as if someone took a knife and cut through fabric, except the fabric was the sky. Through the rip in the sky was a purple nebula-looking place which was filled with stars and stuff. ¡°Oh boy, now what?¡± asked Hoofa. ¡°I say we should go towards those spikes,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°I¡¯m with Mushpuff on this one!¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°That sounds like a horrible idea, I say we should go into that random door on the side of that dune,¡± said Bird, pointing towards a random door on the side of a dune. ¡°I¡¯ll just go where you guys go,¡± said Snorter. ¡°I¡¯ll go where Gumpton goes,¡± said Hoofa from atop Gumpton. ¡°And Gumpton goes wherever he wants to go.¡± ¡°Well that¡¯s two for the spikes, one for the door, and two indifferent,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°That means we¡¯ll go to the spikes.¡± ¡°Fine then,¡± said Bird. ¡°But I¡¯m going to the door. Hoofa, Snorter, follow me if you wish. Or don¡¯t.¡± ¡°Go, Gumpton!¡± shouted Hoofa. ¡°Adventure!¡± Gumpton promptly ran over Bird, flattening him into a pancake. ¡°He has chosen his destiny! Lead us to greatness, Bird!¡± ¡°There¡¯s no way I can resist that,¡± said Snorter, choosing to follow Bird and Hoofa. And so it was decided. Mushpuff and Plagiarize made their way towards the spikes, and Bird, Hoofa, and Snorter went towards the door on the dune. As the narrator and author, I have the power to choose who we shall follow first, and I choose Mushpuff and Plagiarize. We shall connect back with the rest later. Mushpuff and Plagiarize began their long walk towards the spikes, which were quite far away, but they were also not that far away, only far enough that walking there was a bit burdensome, but not that burdensome, because that would¡¯ve been too burdensome, and we cannot have that. It was very hot outside and they were getting swiftly dehydrated. After like 20 minutes or something, they came across a strange sight. A cat-person was inside a cage being carried by a bunch of flamingos towards the direction of the spikes. The cat-person was a ragdoll cat. This information is irrelevant but I love ragdoll cats. The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement. Upon seeing this sight, Mushpuff and Plagiarize hid behind a dune and watched. They did not want to be seen by the flamingos. Except the flamingos had already seen them, and before they knew it, they were inside the cage with the ragdoll cat. ¡°Oh my god, another cat-person!¡± said the ragdoll cat. ¡°What brings you here? Oh my god tell me everything.¡± ¡°Hi, my name is Mushpuff and what brings us here is our spaceship.¡± ¡°Um.¡± ¡°Uh¡­¡± ¡°SOMEONE LET ME OUT OF HERE!¡± yelled Plagiarize, who needed to get out after hearing Mushpuff¡¯s terrible joke and having to sit through the awkward silence following it. He started banging on the walls. ¡°So. You said to tell you everything?¡± asked Mushpuff. ¡°Yes! Tell me everything!¡± said the ragdoll cat. Mushpuff was sad because he had to tell the entire story so far but also happy because he was beginning to make a new friend. Mushpuff eventually learned the cat-person¡¯s name. It was Klumpkrump. ¡°So now I will tell YOU everything because that¡¯s how this works,¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°Oh, okay!¡± ¡°So basically it all started many years ago. I was once a normal cat from the planet of Earth. Normal cats walk on four legs and can¡¯t speak and don¡¯t have much intelligence. But then one day the Destruction of Cats Organization formed and started to wipe out all cats on Earth. Luckily for me, my owner was a scientist and he was really smart and stuff so he teleported me away to some other planet where he knew cats were. But these cats were cat-people. Eventually I learned their ways and became one of them.¡± ¡°No way, you were on my planet!¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Precisely. But then one day I decided I wanted to explore the universe because I didn¡¯t want to waste my short life living on one planet when there are so many others out there. So I built a spaceship and left. I didn¡¯t know how dangerous it was out in the vast expanse of the universe. I¡¯ve been traveling all over the place searching for¡­ well, I don¡¯t know what exactly. Anyways, I landed on this planet a few minutes ago and then some flamingos snatched me when I was exploring and now I¡¯m in this cage.¡± ¡°Wow, how informative,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°I have a once in a lifetime offer for you, though.¡± ¡°What is it???¡± asked Klumpkrump with excitement. ¡°You should join me and my group of people I told you about. It¡¯s a fun adventure and nobody has died yet!¡± ¡°Great okay yeah,¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°I¡¯m in. I just hope we can regroup with the rest of them.¡± Now we shall travel back in time and follow Bird, Hoofa, and Snorter from their point of view. They made their way towards the door on the dune and when they reached it, they opened it. What else would they do? Stare at it? Are you stupid? Behind the door was a small dark room with sandstone walls and a wooden table in the center. The table was circular and it was in very bad shape. On the table were three bowls, and each one was filled with what appeared to be sand. ¡°That ain¡¯t what I expected,¡± said Hoofa. ¡°What even is that stuff, yo?¡± ¡°There¡¯s only one way to find out!¡± said Snorter, who ran to the table and gobbled up one of the bowls. ¡°Mmmmm! This is really good! It¡¯s like soup and sand at the same time!¡± ¡°Sand soup?¡± said Bird. ¡°I guess I¡¯ll try some.¡± Bird walked over to the table and tasted some sand soup. He loved the taste, too. Soon all three of them had eaten all of the sand soup in the room and were wanting more. ¡°I wonder where we could find more sand soup?¡± asked Hoofa rhetoricalitatilly. ¡°Look!¡± said Bird, pointing to the wall. There was a sign that none of them noticed before. On this sign were words, and those words spelled the following sentence: ¡°For more sand soup, go to those three big, obvious spikes in the distance (yeah, THOSE spikes).¡± ¡°Let¡¯s go to those spikes so we can enjoy some more sand soup!¡± said Bird, Snorter, Hoofa, and Gumpton all at the same time. They opened the door and were instantly blown away by the sandstorm that was there which wasn¡¯t there before but was now. Chapter 19: Inside the Spikes Snorter, Bird, Hoofa, and Gumpton (the former latter of which was on top of the latter latter) were flying through the air helplessly because they were inside of a sandstorm. They were all screaming because there was nothing else they could do. Meanwhile, Mushpuff, Plagiarize, and Klumpkrump were sitting in their cage when all of a sudden a gust of sand blew by and they were blinded for a few seconds. In the midst of the sand gust, they heard screaming and the banging of metal. When it was over and they could see, Snorter, Bird, Hoofa, and Gumpton were inside the cage with them. ¡°Fancy seeing you here,¡± said Bird to the other half of the gang. ¡°Likewise,¡± said Mushpuff, who was in the other half of the gang. ¡°Is this the other half of the group I have heard so much about??¡± asked Klumpkrump. ¡°Who?¡± asked every member of the other other half of the gang, all of them pointing at Klumpkrump, a member of the other half of the gang. ¡°Klumpkrump,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Oh, okay,¡± said the other half of the gang, except they all said it one after another in an unspecified order. As the flamingos continued to carry their cage closer and closer to the spikes in the distance, all the members of the gang told each other about all their adventures. Each half told the other half what they missed, and the other other half told the other half the story of Klumpkrump. By the time they finished, they were at the front entrance of the spikes. ¡°Okay everyone get outta the cage,¡± said one of the flamingos. The cage was forcefully dropped and then it was opened and the gang got out. ¡°Now you must follow us.¡± Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. Each member of the gang was handcuffed to another member of the gang. However, these handcuffs were not in a straight line - they were handcuffed in a completely random way and so they were in a very awkward tangle as the flamingos led them to the front door of the center spike. The door slid away in a very satisfying fashion and they were led inside. In the spike was a very fancy, shiny, well-decorated lobby that looked like it belonged in a hotel. The floor was made of some sort of shiny stone in intricate patterns and there were white pillars along the sides of the room. The flamingos led them to the side of the room, where an elevator was located. They all got in (it was very crammed in there), and they all rode up to floor 190. When they finally reached floor 190, the gang was pushed down a long winding hall with many doors leading off of it, their handcuffs were removed, and then they (the gang, not the handcuffs) were shoved into one of the rooms. It was a simple hotel room, except all the windows were barred. The windows were scary to look out because of the fact they were on floor 190. ¡°What sort of prison is this?¡± asked Hoofa, who was still riding Gumpton. ¡°ICE CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM!!!¡± screamed Klumpkrump, who had found the ice cream dispenser in the bathroom. All the other members of the gang screamed and stampeded into the bathroom, where they dispensed and ate so much ice cream that by the time they had finished tasting all the flavors, 3 hours had passed. ¡°Oh my god that ice cream was all so good,¡± said Plagiarize, ¡°Except for the crayon flavor. That was not as good.¡± ¡°Really? I quite liked that one,¡± said Snorter. Just then there was a knock on the door of their hotel room, and Bird was sent to answer it because they all played rock paper scissors and Bird was the ultimate loser. When Bird opened the door, a flamingo was behind it. ¡°Gather all your fellow inmates,¡± said the flamingo. ¡°It¡¯s time for you to start working.¡± ¡°Working on what?¡± asked the penguin. ¡°All shall be explained once you arrive on the site of the job.¡± Bird gathered the rest of the gang and they were all taken to the elevator. This elevator ride took them to floor negative 20, and to reach it faster, the elevator simply fell and slowly decelerated when it got close to the bottom for a smooth landing. When the doors opened, an unexpected sight was before them. Chapter 20: Spoonscraping, or The Art of Scraping with Spoons The Bear King, king of all bears on the planet of Bear Stone Planet, was sitting on his throne thinking about bear stuff when the doors of his hall opened and a bear walked in. ¡°Bear King! Bear King! We have news on the murderers of your son!¡± said this bear. ¡°What is it?????¡± ¡°They are heading to the planet of¡­ Smack-Smork!¡± ¡°Send the Bearmy there as soon as possible!!¡± demanded The Bear King, king of all bears on the planet of Bear Stone Planet. ¡°Send out the Bearmy, Bear Army!¡± said the messenger bear into a walkie-talkie. ¡°Sending out the Bearmy, Bear Army!¡± responded a voice from the other side. Meanwhile, Mushpuff, Bird, Plagiarize, Snorter, Hoofa, Gumpton, and Klumpkrump were looking out of the elevator into a room which was shaped like a hemisphere (the flat part was on the bottom). It was made of dark rock and magma, and except for a small walkway of rock around the outside, the center of the room was a pool of lava. On the walkways, various creatures from around the universe were scraping the walls with plastic spoons. The temperature in this room was very hot and those of the gang who had the ability to sweat did so. If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. ¡°Yo, can you explain what this is?¡± Bird asked the flamingo. ¡°Yes! But it involves why these spikes are here too, as well as that portal in the sky above them. Many years ago, us flamingos lived in the desert. We had a good many civilizations. Then one day the portal appeared and these spikes fell out at a very high velocity, spraying sand everywhere. This disrupted the desert and caused sandstorms which continue to this day. Don¡¯t question how that works; it¡¯s just logic. Anyways, the dragon flew out of the portal after the spikes and explained that it was a being from another dimension who got forced out. We don¡¯t know the details, it never explained them. It then tunneled under the spikes and forced us to increase the size of its room. The sandstorms were too strong for us and we now must live in the spikes. The spikes weren¡¯t explained either. All prisoners we catch, we bring down here and force them to carve this room with plastic spoons so the dragon is satisfied.¡± There was a long silence, and then Hoofa broke it with a ¡°What the fuck?¡± However, before that question could be processed by everyone else, a sudden rumbling occurred, knocking everyone to the ground. Suddenly, a dragon¡¯s neck (with a head attached) burst out of the lava pool in the center of the room. ¡°Everyone listen up!¡± yelled the dragon. All the prisoners in the room did so. ¡°I am very mad! In the 150 years since I came here, y¡¯all have made this room about 0.03 centimeters larger! I demand a showdown between me and the Flamingo Kingo. You must construct a stadium for our showdown! I will provide the specifics to the construction workers. Everyone who doesn¡¯t show up there in a week will be incinerated by my fire!!¡± The dragon then splashed back down into the lava without further explanation. Chapter 21: Pickle Smack Over the following week, the gang was woken up at traumatizingly early hours of the morning and were forced to help build the stadium for the showdown between the dragon and the Flamingo Kingo (the king of flamingos, in case you¡¯re stupid). The stadium was stadium-shaped and had hundreds of seats. The field in the center had nothing except for three goalposts held up high on poles on the far end of the field. That was all that the dragon ordered. During this week, the Bearmy went to Smack-Smork looking for the gang, but did not find them. On this fateful day, hundreds of flamingos walked out of the spikes and filled up the stadium, as well as hundreds of prisoners. The Flamingo Kingo was standing in the field in the center, waiting for the dragon to show up but hoping it wouldn¡¯t. But it did! A great flapping of wings was heard and the dragon descended into the field with a roar. ¡°Listen up, everybody!¡± it yelled. ¡°The Flamingo Kingo and I are going to have a showdown. If I win, I will kill everyone! If I lose, I will stop forcing you to make my room bigger.¡± The dragon then looked around the place, seeming to expect something. ¡°WHERE ARE THE PICKLES? WHERE ARE THE GOLF CLUBS???!¡± Now everyone was very confused, but they didn¡¯t want to make the dragon angry so the referee grabbed pickles and golf clubs. ¡°Why exactly do we need pickles and golf clubs?¡± asked the Flamingo Kingo. ¡°Because we are going to play the game of Pickle Smack,¡± responded the dragon. ¡°Where I come from, it is a game known and loved by all. The rules are simple. Basically, there¡¯s 3 goalposts on the other end of this field, as you can see. Every round, each player smacks their pickle with their golf club as hard as they can. If their pickle goes through the goalpost on the left, 30 points are won and the player must immediately put a pickle on their head and run from one end of the field to the other. If the pickle does not fall, they are awarded with another 30 points. ¡°If their pickle goes through the middlemost goalpost, 59.3 points are awarded and the player must eat 3 pickles within one minute. If they successfully do it, they gain an extra 0.7 points. ¡°If the pickle goes through the goalpost on the right, which is the hardest to get through, they are given the Pickle Bat and must hit ten pickles which are thrown at them in succession. Each pickle thrown is worth points in accordance with the Fibonacci Sequence. For example, the first one is worth 1, the second is worth 1, the third is worth 2, the fourth is worth 3, the fifth is worth 5, and so on. If the player hits a pickle, they gain points equal to how many points that pickle was worth, but if they miss, they lose that many points x2. Also, if they fail to hit every single pickle, their total points value is divided by seven. The first player to 400 points wins. ¡°If the pickle makes it through no goalposts, the player loses 10 points. However, if the pickle lands in the special Pickle Zone, which is in between the two white lines on the field (one is halfway between us and the goalposts, and the other is 3 quarters of the way between us and the goalposts), the player does not lose 10 points and is given an extra shot. If they land their pickle in this area 3 times in a row, they must stand in the Pickle Zone for the remainder of the next player¡¯s turn, and if the other player lands their pickle in the Pickle Zone, then the player in the zone loses their next turn. However, if the pickle hits the player in the Pickle Zone, the shooting player steals 50 points from them and they win a Pickle Card. Using a Pickle Card at any point on another player¡¯s turn causes all points they win on that turn to be reduced by half. That¡¯s all the rules. Understand?¡± Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences. ¡°Yes, I understand,¡± said the Flamingo Kingo. ¡°All the rules are clear and everything makes sense.¡± ¡°Okay then let¡¯s begin.¡± A pickle was placed in front of each of the players and they were both given a golf club. ¡°Oh, there¡¯s one thing I forgot to mention,¡± said the dragon. ¡°In order to determine who goes first, we must play a game of Pickle Smack First Player Determination. I shall explain the rules. Basically, there is a large grid on the ground of five squares in a plus shape. We each choose one square to start in, except we may not start in the same square and we may not start in the center square. Then the audience votes on a number from 2-5. The most voted number is chosen. Depending on the number chosen, 2-5 pickles will be thrown into the center square. If any of the pickles are touching each other after they settle in place, each player shall move one square counterclockwise and the pickles shall be rethrown. If not, the players move clockwise. Then the process repeats five times. If the players are in their starting positions, the player on the square marked with the lowest number moves first. If not, the player with the highest number goes first. Got it?¡± ¡°Yes,¡± responded the Flamingo Kingo. After playing a very intense game of Pickle Smack First Player Determination, which took a rather long time, it was decided that the dragon would go first. The dragon gripped his club and charged up the shot for a while. Just before he shot, the sound of a ship¡¯s hyper engines boomed through the stadium. Everyone looked up and saw a Bearmy ship floating above them. It lowered down and landed in the center of the field, and approximately 5 bears walked out. ¡°We are looking for a cat-person and a penguin!¡± yelled one of the bears. ¡°Give them to us and we will let¡­ you¡­ live?¡± The bear stopped because the dragon was staring at him with a face of fury. These bears had disrupted the game of Pickle Smack, and that was not okay to the dragon. It huffed and smoke puffed from its nostrils. The (approximately) 5 bears on the field retreated closer to their ship, and when the dragon started to growl, they all ran into it, shut the door, and powered up the engines¡­ but not the hyper engines. They flew the ship into the air and the guns on the ship began to charge. That¡¯s when the dragon released a burst of flame from its mouth and the ship crashed into the field in a burning wreck, looking quite like a fireball in its new state. ¡°Remove this from the field at once!¡± roared the dragon. However, considering the fact that the spaceship was burning, there was nothing anyone could do. The dragon was informed about this, and that they would have to let the ship cool. The dragon eventually grew impatient and also it had some serious anger issues (if not already apparent), so it lifted off of the ground with a spectacular flap of its wings and let loose on the entire stadium with a blazing inferno of death. Chapter 22: Flames, Death, Explosions, and Chaos! In the stadium, Mushpuff, Bird, Snorter, Hoofa, and Klumpkrump all ran in different directions in their panic, trying to find an exit to the stadium which was quickly turning into a stove. In the end, they all made it out, but Snorter smelled quite like bacon by this time. Plagiarize, of course, was immune to fire and was able to calmly walk out of the stadium. Before they even had a chance to collect themselves after that chaotic chain of events, the next chaotic event began as tens of Bearmy ships beamed in from space, filling up the sky in a very ominous way. A roar issued from the dragon and that¡¯s when the gang began to run in the opposite direction. From behind them came the sounds of guns, roars, flames, explosions, and screams. As the friends all ran into the desert in the direction of their ship, the sounds behind them grew quieter and quieter and they were able to collect themselves. Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author. ¡°Walking without Gumpton is so painful!¡± said Hoofa, who was panting rather hard. ¡°If we¡¯re going to leave the planet, I need to go back and get him.¡± ¡°It¡¯s too dangerous, we gotta leave him,¡± said Bird. ¡°No, I can¡¯t! Gumpton and I have been together for years!¡± Just then a particularly giant explosion erupted and an elephant was launched out of it into the sky, conveniently landing next to Hoofa. ¡°Gumpton!¡± she shouted as she climbed onto his back. ¡°Don¡¯t ever leave me like that again, yo!¡± The gang continued and eventually they reached their spaceship, but they still had a problem: no ketchup! Chapter 23: Kill Another Bear ¡°Guys,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°I have an idea.¡± ¡°What??????¡± exclaimed Plagiarize. ¡°What is it??¡± ¡°We need to kill another bear,¡± said the cat. ¡°Nah bro there is no way I am doing that again,¡± said Bird. ¡°Last time we managed to get an entire freaking army after us, yo. And they¡¯re still after us.¡± ¡°But this time it will be different!¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Last time it was just the two of us. Now there¡¯s, like, five of us and we have an Energy Cube. Plus the army¡¯s already after us so how could things get any worse?¡± ¡°Okay, I guess you¡¯re right,¡± admitted Bird. ¡°Let¡¯s go kill a bear then.¡± Fortunately for the gang, there was a bear conveniently located nearby, sitting on the sand and looking at the chaos in the distance. This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. ¡°You there!¡± shouted Mushpuff the cat. ¡°Mmmm, hello, hello,¡± said the bear. Within two minutes, Hoofa and the bear had stuck up a very interesting conversation, and she almost forgot that they were supposed to kill the bear. ¡°I¡¯d agree with you about the first thing, but I think the camels should actually be relocated, like, five miles to the east or so,¡± said Hoofa, deep in conversation with the bear they were about to kill. ¡°But that wouldn¡¯t make any sense!¡± replied the bear. ¡°I mean, how are they supposed to cross the Kriggog River? I think it should be settled with a game of chess, honestly.¡± ¡°I honestly think that HYAAAAAHHHH!!!!¡± screamed Hoofa extremely suddenly as she directed Gumpton to leap through the air, landing on the bear and crushing it mid-conversation. Ketchup went everywhere, it was very brutal. ¡°Gee, that¡¯ll probably lower our reputation with the bears by quite a lot,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°No, because they didn¡¯t see it,¡± said Hoofa. Chapter 24: They Saw It High up in the sky above the battle between the Bearmy and the dragon, a Bearmy observation ship was hovering and observing the various events going on on the surface of the planet. Most places deeper into the desert were not visible because of the thick layer of sand in the air, but just as Hoofa squashed a bear with Gumpton, a gust of wind blew some sand out of the way and a Bearmy observer was just quick enough to be able to see it. To make matters worse, the bear observer saw Mushpuff and Bird nearby, who were known criminals among the bears. Plagiarize was also a criminal for leading seven Bearmy soldiers directly into the face of a cheese dragon. The bear observer sounded the alarm and let everyone know exactly what had just happened on the surface of the planet, and a couple of ships were sent to that location. Meanwhile, down on the surface, the gang was fueling up their ship and preparing to leave. Just as the rock spaceship was beginning to power up its systems, five Bearmy ships blasted in from afar with all their guns aimed at the gang¡¯s ship. ¡°Stop right there or else you will probably die!¡± shouted a bear voice through the speakers of a bear ship. ¡°If we see those engines start to power up, we are going to fire! Not only are you wanted criminals, but you also have an Energy Cube in your possession, which we want. Give that to us and we won¡¯t even arrest you!¡± Unfortunately for the bears, the bear speaking forgot to turn off the speaker and the gang heard one message from one of the other bears on board the ship: ¡°You definitely shouldn¡¯t tell them that they could easily kill all of us with that Energy Cube. Oh, hey, the speakers are still turned on.¡± The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. ¡°One quick question for you,¡± said Bird through the rock spaceship¡¯s speakers. ¡°Theoretically, if we wanted to easily kill all of you with out Energy Cube, how would we do it?¡± ¡°Ah, an excellent question,¡± said the bear. ¡°I¡¯d probably stick my paws into that thing to absorb a bunch of energy and then fire that energy out at us.¡± Hearing this, Klumpkrump grabbed the cube from the floor where they had geniusly left it and tried to figure out how to stick her paws into it. As she was thinking about that, her paws started to do the exact thing she was wondering how to make them do. The smooth surface of the cube suddenly felt like some sort of liquid and her paws slowly sank deeper and deeper. As her paws went deeper into the cube, Klumpkrump started to be filled with energy. By the time they reached the center, she felt like she was about to explode!!!! While she was doing this, Bird was landing the ship on the ground and was about to pretend like they were surrendering. Klumpkrump made her way to the roof with her energetic arms and looked at the five Bearmy ships. They were very big and scary and big. ¡°Omg who is that on your roof?¡± asked a bear from the speaker. ¡°I don¡¯t know, just ignore her or whatever,¡± replied Bird. Klumpkrump then stretched her arms out in the direction of one of the Bearmy ships and unleashed the energy from the cube. A big glowy laser shot out from her paws and cut a hole through the ship, causing it to crash and explode. The other four ships were quick to follow, but just before the fourth was hit, it fired at the rock spaceship!! Chapter 25: Qaeron The shot that the bears fired at the rock spaceship went towards Klumpkrump, but it hit her paws and was vaporized by the energy beam. Rather anticlimactic, I know. The bear observation ship saw this and sent more Bearmy ships, but by the time they got there, the gang was long gone. They had blasted off into space in search of Smack-Smork. By the time Mushpuff, Bird, Plagiarize, Snorter, Hoofa, and Klumpkrump arrived on Smack-Smork, two weeks had passed. When Bird landed the ship, everyone looked out the windows and saw a whole lot of snow. The sky was cloudy and snow was falling very fast. Visibility was very low. ¡°It sure looks cold out there,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Maybe we should just fly the ship around and see if there¡¯s anything here,¡± suggested Mushpuff. ¡°I agree with that idea,¡± said Klumpkrump. And so it was decided that they would slowly fly around near the surface of the planet and look for anything of use. For the first few minutes, it was just snow. A whole lotta snow. Then, all of a sudden, there was a bear in the snow! He was laying with his back to the sky and looked rather dead, but as Bird was just about to pilot the ship away, the bear turned and looked at them. ¡°Omg guys what should we do??¡± asked Bird to the gang. ¡°Let¡¯s see what the bear has to say and then we kill him if we have to,¡± suggested Mushpuff. ¡°Sound good to me,¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°Literally what if the bear kills us?¡± asked Hoofa. ¡°Then we¡¯ll die,¡± responded Klumpkrump. ¡°Okay let¡¯s do it!!¡± said Hoofa. ¡°This will end well,¡± said Mushpuff. The doors of the rock spaceship opened and Mushpuff, Bird, Plagiarize, Snorter, Hoofa, Gumpton, and Klumpkrump all walked out in a really cool and dramatic way before everyone except Bird instantly turned around and bolted back inside due to the cold. The bear was once again face down in the snow as Bird approached it. ¡°Yo, bear,¡± said Bird. Upon hearing this, the bear looked up at him. Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°Mmmm, zmall bird, yez?¡± said the bear in an odd voice. ¡°Bird is my friend?¡± ¡°Uhhh¡­ what?¡± asked Bird. ¡°Who are you and why are you here?¡± ¡°Mmmm, my name is Qaeron, yez? But, hmmm, do not miztake me for fruit, oh no! Many people think Qaeron the bear is a fruit, awww! It makez a bear zad!¡± ¡°Okay, very interesting,¡± said Bird. ¡°How did you get here? And why are you face down in the snow?¡± ¡°Mmmm, znow is very interezting, yez? The bear likez to look at it. It makez a bear happy!¡± ¡°Okay but literally why are you here?¡± asked Bird. ¡°It is a long ztory and, mmmm, Qaeron is cold, oh no!¡± ¡°I¡¯ll take you into our ship, then,¡± said Bird. ¡°As long as you don¡¯t kill any of us.¡± ¡°Qaeron shall not kill, yez,¡± said the bear. Mushpuff, Plagiarize, Snorter, Hoofa, and Klumpkrump watched fearfully as Bird led the bear into their spaceship. When everyone was safely sitting down (Qaeron squashed one of the couches in the living room), Qaeron began to tell his tale. ¡°Mmmm, well, a long time ago,¡± began Qaeron, ¡°I was on Bear Ztone Planet, yez? But the bears, mmmm, they did not like me, oh no! They ztole Qaeron¡¯s locket and, hmmm, banished him, yez? But I znuck back and tried to zteal my locket back. I followed many zpace missions, yez, and onze I fell out of the ship and a lot of weird things happened, but Qaeron found his way back, yez. Mmmm, but they found me eventually, oh no, found me on their ship and threw me onto thiz planet to die!¡± ¡°Man, those bears really suck,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Yo, do you know what happened here? As in on Smack-Smork? And why there¡¯s, like, nothing here, yo?¡± Hoofa asked Qaeron. ¡°Mmmm, Qaeron does not know, no?¡± ¡°Darn,¡± responded Hoofa. ¡°Well, I have a once in a lifetime offer for you,¡± said Bird. ¡°Hmmm?¡± hmm¡¯d Qaeron. ¡°Join us on our quest, yo!¡± ¡°Qaeron will join his friends, yez!¡± said Qaeron. Just then there was a great big rumbling sound, accompanied by the entire spaceship shaking. ¡°I wonder what that could be at this specific hour,¡± shouted Plagiarize over the rumbling. ¡°Let¡¯s see!¡± shouted Mushpuff, going to the window conveniently located on the wall facing the direction of the rumbling. Everyone followed closely behind him. A giant metal circular door was opening on the ground before their eyes. It was previously completely covered in snow, hiding it from visibility, but now the snow had all fallen off. Eventually the door had finished opening and stopped in its place. ¡°Well that was certainly unusual,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°I wonder w--¡± Then, from out of the big hole that nobody could see down because they were viewing it from low to the ground, a bipedal lizard about the size of Mushpuff (size of a cat) walked up. Chapter 26: Lizard Shelter The lizard was carrying some sort of bow in its hands and was wearing a very thick winter coat. It gestured for the gang to come out of their ship. They did so, despite the cold. ¡°Bears first! Now you!!¡± shouted the lizard from a distance. ¡°Who? You? And why here?¡± ¡°We¡¯re here cuz we heard that there were powerful magic thingies here or something,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Powerful magic artifacts, yo!¡± exclaimed Bird. ¡°Are you stupid?¡± asked the lizard. ¡°Yes!¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°I mean no! I mean, uh, maybe?¡± ¡°We are not stupid!¡± said Snorter. ¡°Yeah! We¡¯re not stupid!¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°If not stupid,¡± said the lizard, ¡°you would know facts. Artifacts stolen.¡± ¡°WHART!!?¡± shouted Plagiarize with disbelief. ¡°Ain¡¯t no freaking way, yo,¡± said Bird. ¡°Freaking way, yo,¡± responded the lizard. ¡°Stole, stolen, stealing, stong.¡± ¡°Who stole them???¡± asked Mushpuff. ¡°Pirates from space,¡± replied lizard. ¡°Dangerous. We wanted to avenge, but not enough lizards. Too weak.¡± ¡°We can totally help you guys!!¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°We¡¯ll steal the artifacts back from those pirates!!¡± ¡°Omg!¡± said the lizard. ¡°Follow!¡± The gang all followed the lizard towards the large door-hole from whence he came. Qaeron carried Plagiarize under one arm and Snorter in the other, because both of them had frozen into solid blocks of ice. It turns out that in the hole was a big spiral staircase that spiraled along the edge of the circular hole. The hole was like 50 meters deep and there was no railing on the staircase. Additionally, the steps were about 3 centimeters tall each, meaning there were, like, 1,667 of them. This information is completely useless and you don¡¯t need to know it but now you do. Anyways, after a lot of staircasing, the gang and the lizard made it to the bottom of the staircase. Qaeron collapsed on the ground. This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there. ¡°Mmmm, bear is tired, yez?¡± said Qaeron from the ground. ¡°Bear needs rezt.¡± While Qaeron laid on the ground, Mushpuff, Bird, Klumpkrump, Hoofa, and Gumpton were looking around the lizard base (Plagiarize and Snorter were still thawing). They were in a massive underground base which had a roof about 30 meters up. The room was approximately 200 meters on either side, also known as Ginormous. Large stone pillars held up the roof. There was also a restaurant in there. Don¡¯t ask why. Aside from the restaurant, the only other things in the room were tents. A lot of tents. Scattered here and there and everywhere. ¡°What the frickity frack is this place?¡± asked Plagiarize after thawing out. ¡°Also how did we get here?¡± ¡°Old lizard shelter,¡± said the lizard. ¡°Used to be prosperous society. Many cities on surface. Then pirates invaded. All died except few lizards. Stole all our stuff. Now hide in hole. Eat food from restaurant.¡± ¡°What a sad tale,¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°Do you know where the pirates went though??¡± ¡°Their planet is Kearth,¡± said the lizard. ¡°Alright, I guess that¡¯s all we need to know,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Let¡¯s go to Kearth, guys!¡± After dragging Snorter out of the restaurant because she snuck into it and ate half the remaining food supply, the gang thanked the lizard and turned towards the stairs. ¡°Oy, wait a minute,¡± said the lizard. ¡°When bears were here¡­ said they were looking for two people. Cat and penguin. Said they would give us reward if we captured them. You are cats,¡± said the lizard as he pointed at Mushpuff and Klumpkrump. ¡°And you are penguin,¡± he said, pointing at Bird. ¡°You¡¯re incorrect!¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Oh, okay,¡± said the lizard. ¡°Sorry. Have good adventure.¡± ¡°Because they¡¯re actually probably after all of us now,¡± continued Plagiarize. ¡°Oy?¡± exclaimed the lizard. ¡°Yeah, because they saw us all together on that last planet we were on, and we all escaped together, so they probably know we¡¯re a team, and we did end up killing some more bears over there, so I¡¯d say it¡¯s not unlikely that most of us are wanted now.¡± ¡°Don¡¯tlistentohimhe¡¯sveryinsanealsowe¡¯releavingnowsobye,¡± said Klumpkrump, running for the stairs. Mushpuff, Bird, Plagiarize, Snorter, HoofaGumpton (the title for when Hoofa is riding Gumpton), and Qaeron followed behind. As the gang ran up the twisting spiral staircase that led out of the hole, they were greeted with the terrible sight of the door at the top starting to swing close. They had less than a minute to make it up all 1,667 stairs before the door closed and they were locked inside. And that wouldn¡¯t be much of a problem if not for the fact that the lizard they met just took out his bow and fired an arrow at the gang. It narrowly missed Qaeron by about the length of one hedgehog wearing pants and smoking a cigarette (the cigarette and pants add to the length of the hedgehog and were therefore necessary in the measurement). Chapter 27: The Battle to Reach the Top of the Stairs When the lizard shot at the gang and nearly missed Qaeron, the bear did an epic body flop move, jumping down off the stairs and landing on the lizard, causing the lizard to die under Qaeron¡¯s immense weight. ¡°SMH Qaeron, now we¡¯re never going to make it out of this hole with you before the door at the top closes,¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°Mmmm, friends muzt come down, yez?¡± suggested Qaeron. ¡°I have an idea, hmmm, an idea, yez?¡± The rest of the gang jumped down the stairs all the way to the floor (they had actually ascended only about 3 steps). Gumpton caused the entire place to shake upon landing. ¡°Mmmm, come here, yez?¡± said Qaeron to Klumpkrump. Klumpkrump walked towards Qaeron and he picked her up without warning and threw her towards the top of the hole. She went over the top and out of sight, barely missing the still-closing door. Qaeron then threw Mushpuff, Bird, and Snorter. But then something terrible happened!!! Two things actually!! The door¡­CLOSED! AND!!!! More lizards arrived¡­WITH BOWS!!! ¡°It sure would be nice to have that Energy Cube right about now,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Throw me at ¡®em, bear!!¡± said Hoofa, hopping off Gumpton. Qaeron picked her up and launched her at the lizards, knocking a few of them down like bowling pins. ¡°Surrender,¡± said one of the lizards. ¡°or we kill. We will give you to bears.¡± ¡°What is a ¡®zurrender¡¯, hmmm?¡± asked Qaeron. ¡°Surrender. You give up. We do what we want with you.¡± ¡°Uhhhhh¡­¡± contemplated Plagiarize. ¡°Well I guess maybe we might consider that.¡± At that exact moment, an energy laser from above zapped down and vaporized a couple of lizards. The rest of the lizards tried to run but the energy laser followed them. Upon looking up, Plagiarize, Hoofa, Gumpton, and Qaeron saw that the laser had melted through the metal of the door at the top of the staircase. And the source of the laser was none other than the Energy Cube which Klumpkrump had taken out from their ship. Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit. ¡°Hey guys!¡± shouted Klumpkrump from the top of the hole, waving the Energy Cube around in the air. ¡°This cube sure is usefu--OH NO I DROPPED IT!¡± Klumpkrump had indeed dropped the Energy Cube through the hole in the door that she made using its laser. However, since she was near the edge of the door, the cube landed near the top of the stairs. Furthermore, the hole she cut was super hot and she¡¯d die if she tried to go through it. FurtherFURTHERmore, more lizards quickly arrived on the scene after seeing Klumpkrump drop the cube. ¡°Get the cube!¡± shouted one of the lizards. Just like that, Plagiarize, Qaeron, and the group of lizards started running towards the top of the staircase. Of course, since the human and the bear were closer to the staircase, they had a headstart, but not by much. The lizards soon overtook them on the stairs and pushed both of them off, where they fell a staggering 1.2 meters. Hoofa, meanwhile, was riding Gumpton as he attempted to reach up and grab a section of the staircase higher up to get ahead of the lizards. The staircase broke because of the intense weight of Gumpton, stopping the lizards in their path (they were just about to pass that part of the stairs). ¡°Launch me, Gumpton!¡± said Hoofa. Gumpton grabbed her in his trunk and launched her about a quarter of the way up the hole, where she landed on an upper part of the staircase. ¡°Quick, Hoofa!¡± shouted Plagiarize from the bottom. ¡°The lizards can jump!¡± The lizards were indeed jumping over the crumbled section of the stairs that Gumpton destroyed, and even though Hoofa had a great headstart, those lizards were FAST! ¡°Mmmm, bear bowling!¡± said Qaeron to Gumpton. Plagiarize was confused but Gumpton understood perfectly. The elephant picked up the bear in his trunk and threw him at the lizards on the stairs. He missed completely and Qaeron splatted into the wall. Luckily, he was ahead of where the lizards were, and not behind them. Qaeron quickly got to his feet and threw himself at the lizards before they could draw their bows. The lizards, however, simply made a clearing, causing Qaeron to fall flat on his face. ¡°I¡¯m the last chance!¡± said Plagiarize to Gumpton. ¡°Launch me at em!¡± Gumpton picked up Plagiarize and since he weighed less than a bear, the elephant was able to throw him with more accuracy at the lizards on the stairs. He still missed, but not as terribly. Plagiarize kicked the lizard in the front, causing him to fall down to the ground. He punched the second lizard, sending him falling too. By then, though, the rest of the lizards had drawn their bows and were aiming at Plagiarize. Plagiarize grabbed the next lizard and leaped off the stairs with him. Gumpton caught Plagiarize, but the lizard splatted on the floor. By this point, Hoofa was about halfway up the staircase. Plagiarize and Qaeron managed to slow down the lizards by quite a lot, but they were still climbing the stairs fast. The rest of the ascent was very intense. Hoofa got higher and higher and the lizards got closer and closer!!! Hoofa finally reached the final ring of the spiral staircase, and as she did, the lizards reached her and shoved her off the staircase!! Luckily, Gumpton was ready and waiting to catch any falling object unless it was a lizard, so he caught Hoofa¡­ but that wasn¡¯t the problem (obviously, duh!)! The lizards now had the cube!! Chapter 28: Trapped by Bears Hoofa, Gumpton, Plagiarize, and Qaeron were now trapped (not by bears, though; that part comes later). Above them, a group of lizards had their Energy Cube, and all around them, more lizards from the shelter were now getting ready to shoot them with bows. ¡°Well geez, what do we do now?¡± asked Plagiarize in a question-ish sort of manner. ¡°I dunno, bro, like, die or something?¡± said Hoofa. And then, when it seemed like things couldn¡¯t get any worse, they actually got better because the gang¡¯s spaceship crashed through the door of the hole everyone was in, killed the lizards at the top of the stairs, and crashed at the bottom of the hole. The staircase all fell apart and crashed down on top of it, and the Energy Cube landed on the ground right next to Plagiarize. ¡°Huh, how convenient,¡± said Plagiarize, picking up the cube. ¡°Kill them!!¡± shouted one of the lizards. The door of the rock spaceship opened and Klumpkrump, Snorter, Bird, and Mushpuff were inside, yelling at Hoofa, Gumpton, Plagiarize, and Qaeron to come in, just as the lizards unleashed a flurry of arrows upon them. The four people in the latter half of the list of people in the previous paragraph ran towards the open door of the spaceship. When they made it in, Mushpuff smushed a button with his paw, closing the door. ¡°Alright, is everyone good?¡± asked Snorter. ¡°That was intense.¡± ¡°Yeah, let¡¯s get out of here,¡± said Plagiarize, dropping the Energy Cube on the floor. Once everyone had calmed down from the intensity of that whole situation, the engines were powered up and Bird steered the ship upwards. Upon exiting the hole they were in, everyone was greeted with the sight of a whole lotta Bearmy ships in the air. ¡°Aw, shucks!¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°We¡¯ve surrounded that hole with an energy shield!¡± shouted a bear¡¯s voice from one of the ships. ¡°If you try to fly away, you¡¯ll smack into it and die!¡± ¡°Yeah but we have an Energy Cube, bro!¡± said Bird through the rock spaceship¡¯s speakers. ¡°We can destroy your entire fleet in, like, five seconds!¡± ¡°Not for long,¡± said bear. All of a sudden there was a loud zappy sound inside of the rock spaceship and everyone turned to the corner of the piloting room to see what caused it. Everyone gasped when they saw that a BEAR had materialized out of NOWHERE! The bear was a Bearmy soldier and wielded a bear sword. The bear grunted and aimed its sword at the gang. If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement. ¡°As you can see, there wasn¡¯t a bear there before,¡± said the bear speaking from one of the ships. ¡°But now¡­ THERE IS!!! We attached a teleporter to your ship.¡± ¡°WHat?? How??¡± asked Plagiarize. He didn¡¯t speak into the microphone, though. ¡°My friend has a question,¡± said Bird into the microphone. ¡°Okay, what is it?¡± ¡°WHat?? How??¡± asked Plagiarize, speaking into the microphone this time. ¡°We told some lizards to do it while you were in the pit thingy,¡± said the bear. ¡°Because we gave them a BEAR PHONE to call us. Which is how we knew to come here in the first place.¡± ¡°OH NOOOOOOO!!!!¡± Plagiarize screamed. ¡°Wait!¡± Klumpkrump shouted into the microphone. ¡°Okay,¡± said the bear. The other bear (the one inside the gang¡¯s ship) had been patiently waiting for someone to tell him what to do. ¡°Excuse me,¡± Klumpkrump said to the bear. ¡°Okay,¡± said the bear, moving out of the way. Klumpkrump grabbed the teleporter (it was shaped like a small disc and looked like it was made of some sort of metal-plastic hybrid), went to the door, and threw it out of the door. As a response, the bear on the speakers screamed in a very high-pitched voice. ¡°That¡¯s right, bear!¡± said Klumpkrump into the speaker. ¡°You¡¯re not allowed to do that,¡± said the bear. ¡°I just did,¡± said Klumpkrump, causing the bear to scream again. The bear inside the gang¡¯s spaceship then received a call on his Bear Phone. He picked it up and answered. Since Bear Phones could only be on speaker, everyone in the ship could hear everything. ¡°Hi, this is Chunk,¡± said the bear in their ship. ¡°Grab their cube and kill them, Chunk!¡± said the voice on the other end. ¡°Oh, okay,¡± said Chunk. ¡°And make sure they don¡¯t kill you instead!¡± ¡°On it.¡± ¡°And make sure they can¡¯t hear this!¡± ¡°They probably can¡¯t,¡± said Chunk. Chunk hung up and was then vaporized by the Energy Cube from the paws of Klumpkrump. Unfortunately, the energy laser then went beyond where Chunk used to be and destroyed a bit of the ship¡¯s wall. ¡°If you kill us,¡± said the bear through the speaker, ¡°then you¡¯ll be trapped in that little energy shield that¡¯s around your ship. Surrender now!¡± ¡°You should zurrender, hmm?¡± Qaeron suggested to the rest of the gang. ¡°I muzt get my locket back, yez?¡± ¡°But we don¡¯t know what they¡¯ll do to us!¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°What if they kill us??¡± ¡°I know what happens, yez?¡± said Qaeron. ¡°They take you to Bourt, bear court, yez!¡± ¡°Bourt??¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°Bear court???¡± said Snorter. ¡°I guess we do have a hole in our spaceship regardless,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°We surrender!¡± said Bird into the speaker. Chapter 29: Bourt The gang soon found themselves in the middle of a Bourtroom. As we all know, bears do not use lawyers, so Mushpuff, Bird, Plagiarize, Snorter, Hoofa, Gumpton, Klumpkrump, and Qaeron all had to defend themselves. The Budje began to speak. ¡°Cat 1 and penguin, you¡¯re in here because you killed the bears of Bear Pit. Also, one of those bears was the Bear King¡¯s only son. Dog, you¡¯re here because you squashed a bear with your elephant.¡± ¡°Darn!¡± whispered Hoofa. ¡°I thought they didn¡¯t see that.¡± ¡°Cat 2, you¡¯re here because you destroyed many Bearmy ships with your Energy Cube. You also killed Chunk.¡± ¡°Why is Chunk so important?¡± asked Klumpkrump. ¡°He was just some random bear.¡± ¡°He was president.¡± ¡°Of what?¡± ¡°Bear President. Anyways, the human and the pig are here for associating with criminals, and the elephant is here because it was the one who squashed the bear. We also have one special case before we wrap things up. Anyways, let Bourt begin.¡± ¡°...so how exactly does Bourt work?¡± asked Mushpuff. ¡°It¡¯s simple,¡± said the Bear Judge. ¡°We tell you to defend yourselves for various things you did. The Bear Jury takes notes and decides if you¡¯re guilty or not guilty.¡± ¡°Nobody¡¯s arguing against us?¡± asked Snorter. ¡°Your morals are,¡± explained Bear Judge. ¡°Anyways, let¡¯s begin with the Bear Pit Incident. Cat 1 and penguin, please stand.¡± Mushpuff and Bird stood up. It was very stressful in Bourt, bear court. Everyone was looking at them. ¡°Now defend yourselves,¡± said the Bear Judge. ¡°Your honor,¡± begun Mushpuff, ¡°we are innocent.¡± ¡°We¡¯ll see about that,¡± interrupted the judge. ¡°Our spaceship, you see, it runs on ketchup. We crashed on your planet and saw a massive billboard that said something like ¡®the bears on this planet have ketchup for blood¡¯. So we went around looking for bears. Eventually we found a bunch of bears in a pit in a room at the bottom of a ravine who said they were trapped. And then my friend pushed a button that killed the bears and we took their ketchup.¡± Upon hearing this, the room was filled with the loud sound of pencils on paper. It was the bear jurors, taking notes. ¡°That seems like an incredibly convenient series of events,¡± said the Bear Judge. The bear jurors wrote louder and harder upon hearing that. ¡°Well, it¡¯s what happened,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Penguin, what do you have to say about this?¡± ¡°Everything he said was true,¡± said Bird, who was quite afraid of speaking in front of so many bears. After a few brief moments of relative silence, filled only with the sound of pencils on paper, the doors of the Bourtroom banged open and a BEAR walked in. If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it. ¡°I have very important information!¡± yelled the bear who entered the room. ¡°The bears in Bear Pit, including the Bear King¡¯s son, were all¡­ ENEMIES of the STATE!!!¡± The Bourtroom was filled with the gasps of hundreds of bears. The sound of pencils on paper got dangerously loud. ¡°That¡¯s what we¡¯ve been trying to tell you this whole time!!¡± said Mushpuff, taking this perfect opportunity. ¡°We were eliminating them because they threatened the Bear Republic!¡± The sound of pencils on paper reached 130 decibels. ¡°Is that all you wish to say?¡± asked the Bear Judge. ¡°Yes,¡± replied Mushpuff. The sound of pencils on paper ceased almost immediately. ¡°Dog!¡± shouted Bear Judge. ¡°You squashed a bear with your elephant. Explain yourself.¡± ¡°It¡¯s pretty much the same scenario, yo,¡± said Hoofa, standing up. ¡°We needed ketchup for our ship. That bear was just kinda, like, sitting there, so I squashed him.¡± The bear jurors began to take notes once again. ¡°I¡¯m sure there would¡¯ve been better ways of acquiring ketchup,¡± said the Bear Judge. ¡°Well, we couldn¡¯t think of any, so too bad,¡± said Hoofa, sitting down. The bear jurors finished taking notes and then the third trial began. ¡°Cat number 2, you destroyed many Bearmy ships and killed Chunk. Defend yourself!¡± ¡°In both cases, the Bearmy attacked us first,¡± explained Klumpkrump. ¡°Oh really?¡± said the Bear Judge. ¡°You have no evidence.¡± ¡°It¡¯s true!¡± shouted Klumpkrump. ¡°They¡¯ve been after us for a long time because Mushpuff and Bird, also known as Cat 1 and the penguin, killed those bears in Bear Pit! Which was clearly a good thing because they were enemies of the state!¡± ¡°Yes, but your dog friend also attacked that one bear,¡± said Budje. ¡°I¡¯m sure we can get that sorted out,¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°I have something to say!¡± said Snorter. Everyone¡¯s attention was quickly redirected towards her, and Klumpkrump sat down as Snorter stood up. ¡°What?¡± asked the Budje. ¡°I wish to reveal two crimes that the Bearmy has committed!¡± The Bourtroom was filled with shocked gasps for the second time. ¡°Nonsense!¡± announced the Bear Judge. ¡°The Bearmy is incapable of committing crimes!¡± ¡°You¡¯ll see about that after I¡¯m done talking,¡± said Snorter. ¡°No, really. They¡¯re excused from all crimes.¡± ¡°But they destroyed my city! And they stole an innocent bear¡¯s locket and left him to die!¡± ¡°Ah, speaking of that bear, that¡¯s the Special Case of the Day. Qaeron, please stand!¡± Qaeron stood up and the Bourtroom was filled with boos. ¡°I don¡¯t suppose he told you what he did to the Bear Queen!¡± shouted the Bear Judge to the gang over the sound of the booing. ¡°Mmmm, Qaeron is innozent, yez?¡± said Qaeron. ¡°Innozent!!¡± ¡°Bring in the locket!¡± shouted the Bear Judge. The Bourtroom doors were closed just so they could be dramatically opened again. Behind them was a bear holding a golden locket with an odd symbol on it. ¡°The Bear Queen saw that everyone hated him, so she invited him for a chat to see what was going on,¡± explained the Bear Judge. ¡°But he showed her the inside of this locket and she died!¡± The Bourtroom was filled with shocked gasps for the third time, this time being the loudest out of all the times. ¡°Qaeron, WHAT is inside that locket?¡± asked Klumpkrump. ¡°It is zomething from home, yez,¡± replied Qaeron. ¡°Qaeron the bear!¡± said the Budje. ¡°You have been accused of murdering the Bear Queen! Whatever is inside that locket helped you achieve it!¡± The bear holding the locket, now curious as to what exactly was inside it, opened it up. As soon as he saw what was in it, he DIED!!!! Chapter 30: The Verdicts Everyone was freaking the heck out in the Bourtroom. Tables, chairs, and butter were flying everywhere. ¡°ORDER IN THE BOURT!¡± yelled the Bear Judge. ¡°Hamburger, fries, and a coke, please,¡± said Plagiarize. The Bear Judge pulled open an extremely large square-shaped drawer which was disproportionately short in height compared to its width and length. Inside was a gong. He banged it, which got everyone¡¯s attention. ¡°Sit down, everyone,¡± said the Budje. Every bear in the room immediately sat down at the chair and/or stick of butter nearest to them. ¡°Let us continue. Bear Jury, please make a decision.¡± Now the final part of Bourt began: the voting. For Mushpuff, Bird, Plagiarize, Snorter, and Klumpkrump, the jury voted NOT GUILTY. For Hoofa, Gumpton, and Qaeron, the jury voted GUILTY. ¡°Cats 1 and 2 and the penguin, you are not guilty because the killing of the bears in the pit was an act of heroism because they were enemies of the state, and all further incidents were caused because of the constant pursuit of the Bearmy,¡± explained the judge. ¡°You will be welcomed as allies of the bears of Bear Stone Planet, yes?¡± Stolen story; please report. The Bourtroom was filled with cheers and applause. ¡°However, the dog and elephant are guilty for the murder of an innocent bear and will be sentenced to 30 years of Brison each. Qaeron is guilty for the murder of the Bear Queen, and shall be executed.¡± The Bourtroom was filled with cheers. A guillotine was carried in by two muscular bears and placed in the middle of the Bourtroom. ¡°Qaeron the bear, please get executed now,¡± said the Budje. ¡°Qaeron is innozent, yez?¡± shouted Qaeron. ¡°Mmmm, he did not know the queen would die, yez!¡± The muscular bears walked up to Qaeron, lifted him out of his seat, and started carrying him down the aisle to the guillotine when all of a sudden the doors of the Bourtroom banged shut and then banged open again, for the third dramatic entrance of the trial/s. You¡¯ll never guess who walked in. It was none other than the BEAR QUEEN herself. The Bourtroom was filled with shocked gasps for the fourth time, this time nearly shattering the fabric of Beareality because of how loud it was. ¡°Bears and gentlemen of the jury,¡± said the Bear Queen, ¡°that bear is innocent!¡± ¡°How???¡± replied the Bear Judge and several other bears in the room. ¡°Everyone thinks he killed me,¡± explained the queen, ¡°but he actually didn¡¯t. That was actually my identical sister, Grazer, who was evil and corrupt as well as an ENEMY of the STATE. Bear Judge and bears of the jury, I sentence you to death for sentencing an innocent bear to death.¡± And so it was decided that the Bear Judge and Bear Jury would be sentenced to death, and the Bear Queen excused Qaeron, Hoofa, and Gumpton of their crimes. Chapter 31: Bear Queen Betrayal In the room of the Bear Queen, Mushpuff, Plagiarize, Snorter, Bird, Hoofa, Gumpton, Klumpkrump, and Qaeron all sat in chairs. The Bear Queen invited them all here after the very intense and very long trial because there was something she wished to speak to all of them about. ¡°First of all, the Bearmy would like to personally apologize for tormenting you for so long,¡± said the Bear Queen. ¡°Look out this window.¡± The gang got up and walked to the windows on the wall of the room of the Bear Queen. The windows were facing the large courtyard of Bear Fortress. The courtyard was crowded with thousands of Bearmy soldiers. The Bear Queen took out a megaphone and spoke to them. ¡°Hold up the sign!¡± shouted the Bear Queen into the megaphone. Each individual bear held up its own piece of colored paper. Unfortunately, it appeared that the bears had not stayed in their proper positions, so all the gang saw was a massive mess of randomly colored paper. ¡°I don¡¯t think your bears are in the correct positions,¡± said Snorter. ¡°Nonsense!¡± said the Bear Queen. ¡°That specific combination of colors means ¡®we¡¯re sorry¡¯.¡± Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings. ¡°...In what language?¡± asked Klumpkrump. ¡°That¡¯s just what it means,¡± said the Bear Queen. ¡°It¡¯s not in a language. Oh! I almost forgot! Your locket, Qaeron.¡± The Bear Queen produced Qaeron¡¯s locket and held it out. ¡°I really do want to know what¡¯s inside it, though,¡± she said. ¡°I brought it with me from home, yez?¡± said Qaeron. ¡°But what does that mean??¡± asked the Bear Queen. ¡°Mmmm, from home, yez?¡± repeated Qaeron. ¡°If you don¡¯t tell me then I will have no choice but to reveal who I truly am!¡± exclaimed the Bear Queen. ¡°Who really am you?¡± asked Plagiarize. ¡°Muahahahaha!¡± laughed the Bear Queen. ¡°I am actually the Bear Queen¡¯s evil identical sister, Grazer! The real Bear Queen is dead, killed by Qaeron! And now I am going to figure out how he made what¡¯s inside this locket and why it kills people so I can make an ultimate weapon and rule the universe!¡± While Grazer was talking, Qaeron had taken the locket out of her paws and opened it in front of her face. She then died. Chapter 32: Bourt Part 2, More Confusing This Time And so that¡¯s the series of events that led to the gang going to Bourt for the second time, because now of course it was clear that Qaeron did indeed kill the actual Bear Queen and not her identical sister Grazer. Well, he did kill her identical sister, but he also killed the Bear Queen too. ¡°Qaeron, you are in here today because it turned out that you actually did kill the Bear Queen,¡± said the replacement Bear Judge (the first one was executed in case you forgot in the period of time between you reading this and you reading chapter 30). Before Qaeron could open his mouth, the doors of the Bourtroom SLAMMED open. You¡¯ll never guess who walked in. It was the BEAR KING, KING OF ALL BEARS ON THE PLANET OF BEAR STONE PLANET. ¡°Everyone be quiet!¡± said The Bear King, king of all bears on the planet of Bear Stone Planet. Everyone was already quiet, though. ¡°I have urgent news. A rogue bear has been captured. It turns out that this bear¡­ was DISGUISED as QAERON, and HE killed my very good wife, Bear Queen.¡± A bear chained to a cart was wheeled into the room. This bear looked identical to Qaeron. ¡°I am now going to reveal who he is,¡± said The Bear King, king of all bears on the planet of Bear Stone Planet, as he ripped the fake Qaeron head off of the head of the bear disguised as Qaeron. Under the mask was a DIFFERENT BEAR! The Bourtroom was filled with gasps. Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. ¡°Literally who is that, bro?¡± Hoofa asked the gang. ¡°No clue,¡± said Bird. ¡°Crunch!¡± shouted The Bear King, king of all bears on the planet of Bear Stone Planet. ¡°Why would you commit the crimes of identity fraud AND murder?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll tell you why,¡± said the bear who was formerly disguised as Qaeron, whose name was Crunch, as he took off his second mask, revealing that he was actually The Bear King, king of all bears on the planet of Bear Stone Planet. ¡°Because he killed my wife!¡± ¡°Oh my god!¡± gasped the bear who was disguised as The Bear King, king of all bears on the planet of Bear Stone Planet, taking off his mask and revealing that he was actually Crunch. By this point, all the bears in Bourt were freaking out, screaming and running everywhere. ¡°Qaeron!¡± yelled the actual Bear King over all the commotion. ¡°I sentence you to death for killing my wife!¡± ¡°But that makes no sense!¡± yelled Snorter. ¡°How could it be that Qaeron killed your wife and then you disguised as him and killed your wife? Your wife can only be killed once.¡± ¡°My word is final!¡± said The Bear King, king of all bears on the planet of Bear Stone Planet. Chapter 33: How TROTCCAASF Came to Be Things were not going well for the gang. The Bear King was going crazy and would not listen to reason. Worst of all, anyone who tried to reason with The Bear King, king of all bears on the planet of Bear Stone Planet, would be sentenced to death. Anyways, ten minutes later, the gang found themselves in the Bear Fortress¡¯s execution chamber. There was a Buillotine (Bear Guillotine) in the corner and a bunch of chairs where people could sit to watch. As Qaeron was being led to the Buillotine by The Bear King, king of all bears on the planet of Bear Stone Planet, he grabbed for his locket around his neck, but the Beardyguards for The Bear King, king of all bears on the planet of Bear Stone Planet, slapped it out of his hands and it fell through a grate in the floor. Then there was a loud noise that sounded like either a bark or two metal plates squashing a plate filled with rice, and before anyone knew what was happening, Gumpton had slammed into The Bear King and his Beardyguards. ¡°Let¡¯s get outta here, quick!¡± yelled Hoofa. Qaeron got up and ran behind Mushpuff and Plagiarize and Snorter and Klumpkrump and Bird, who were running behind Hoofa, who was riding Gumpton, who was running out of the execution chamber. ¡°Get them!¡± shouted The Bear King, king of all bears on the planet of Bear Stone Planet. His Beardyguards pulled out swords and ran out the door after the gang. ¡°Stop in the name of the law!¡± shouted the replacement Bear Judge, standing in front of the Beardyguards. ¡°The jury has concluded that The Bear King is guilty of murdering the Bear Queen, and Qaeron is innocent! And the rest of them are heroes for killing enemies of the state! As well as Qaeron! Because he killed Grazer, the Bear Queen¡¯s identical sister! We must capture The Bear King!¡± ¡°Fair enough,¡± said all four Beardyguards. And so that is how it came to be that The Bear King, king of all bears on the planet of Bear Stone Planet, was guilty of murder AND identity fraud. Hoofa and Gumpton had to go back to Bourt for a third time because they were still in trouble for killing that one bear, but they were eventually proven NOT GUILTY because it was in order to supply fuel for the Heroes of the State, which is what the gang was now. I didn¡¯t feel like writing yet another Bourt scene, and you probably don¡¯t feel like reading another. I¡¯m sure we all want to get past this confusing bear situation and continue with the more exciting stuff this story has to offer. But I am sorry to say that there is one more scene involving bears in this section. If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. In the Meeting Room of the Bears?, all seven members of the gang as well as Gumpton were gathered for a Meeting With the Bears. The topic? An alliance! Because all of them were now Heroes of the State. Also, the Bearmy saw how powerful they were. They, in fact, were the ones who suggested an alliance. ¡°So,¡± said D. Bear D. Stroy Er, leader of the entire Bearmy. The previous leader, Ham, was executed for betrayal of the Bear State. Don¡¯t ask what happened, it¡¯s a very long and complicated story which requires an entire book of its own in order to be fully understood. ¡°You wish to have an alliance with us, the Bearmy, as well as the Bear State?¡± ¡°Well actually it was kinda you who suggested that,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Oh, so right!¡± said DeBear (his nickname). ¡°We want an alliance with you. So anyways I need to explain the terms and conditions. First and foremost, whenever someone attacks you, we¡¯ll help you kill them. Second and soremost, whenever someone attacks us, you must help us kill them. Third and thoremost¡­ oh, that¡¯s it. So anyways, you all need to sign here, and then you need to make a name for yourselves. By which I mean literally.¡± DeBear passed a piece of paper across the table to where the gang was sitting. There were eight lines for signatures, and each member of the gang signed on one of them. Obviously. There was also a place where they had to write their group¡¯s name. ¡°Oh no, we don¡¯t have a name!¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°What are we gonna call ourselves?¡± ¡°Plagiarize and So Forth,¡± suggested Plagiarize. ¡°That¡¯s the dumbest name I¡¯ve ever heard,¡± said Snorter. ¡°What about Klumpkrump and the Cool Cats?¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°Nevermind, that¡¯s worse,¡± said Snorter. ¡°Gumpton¡¯s Army!¡± said Hoofa. ¡°Bird¡¯s Revenge!!!!¡± shouted Bird. ¡°What if we, like, combine all of them?¡± said Hoofa. And so that is how the gang came to be known as The Revenge of The Cool Cats Army And So Forth, or TROTCCAASF for short. They put that title onto the Alliance Form and handed it back to DeBear. Chapter 34: Pirates After formally becoming allies of the Bear State, the gang was led to the King¡¯s Hall (minus the king because he was imprisoned) to be given gifts. They were given a Bear Gift Basket, containing such exotic items as Bear Shampoo, Bear Cheese, Bear Silverware, and Bear Scented Markers. For their mission to Kearth, planet of the pirates who stole artifacts from Smack-Smork, their ship was equipped with Bearmy laser guns. Additionally, their ship was also equipped with a Bear Phone. If they ever needed help, they could use the Bear Phone to call DeBear. Now that all that was settled, their ship was aimed and launched out of Bear Fortress in the general direction of Kearth, out of the Bear Cannon, of course. ¡°Bear politics are so crazy,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Yeah,¡± agreed Bird. ¡°I wonder who the next Bear King will be, yo. Hopefully someone less insane.¡± Their journey to Kearth was relatively uneventful now that the Bearmy wasn¡¯t after them. All was peaceful and nice for the first five days. Because on the sixth day, they arrived at Kearth. Upon arriving at Kearth, it was immediately evident to anyone with eyes that this planet was rather unusual. It was pyramid-shaped, and made of some sort of dark material. It was definitely not naturally made. ¡°Alright, let¡¯s stop staring and start going!¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°Well certainly we can¡¯t just, like, fly up to the planet and land?¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°They probably have a ton of defenses since it¡¯s a pirate planet!¡± ¡°Let¡¯s find out!¡± said Klumpkrump, pressing the ¡°BEAR LASER GUN¡± button that the bears installed on their ship. Their ship rapidly fired 6 laser shots, 3 from each side, towards Kearth. When the lasers approached the planet, they hit an energy shield and were destroyed. ¡°Huh,¡± said Klumpkrump. Then, all of a sudden, two large pirate ships equipped with thrusters and guns beamed to their position from Kearth. Pirate ships as in they literally were water pirate ships, like the ones you¡¯d find on Earth in, like, the 1600s. ¡°Huh!¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°We demand the surrender of your goods,¡± said a very robotic voice coming out of the speakers in their ship that were connected to the messaging system. ¡°Or else we¡¯ll kill you and steal your goods anyway. And even if you give us your goods we¡¯re still gonna imprison you. Because you¡¯re IDIOTS.¡± The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. ¡°Oh yeah?¡± shouted Klumpkrump back into the messaging system. ¡°Well we have an Energy Cube! So if you try to imprison us we¡¯re gonna DESTROY YOU! We just can¡¯t use it right now because we¡¯d have holes in our ship!!¡± ¡°OH YEAH??¡± the robot voice shouted back. ¡°WELL WE HAVE AN ENERGY CUBE TOO!!!! And it¡¯s attached to the center of our planet!! If you try any funny business, we can have it RIP YOU TO SHREDS in TWO SECONDS!!!¡± ¡°OOOOOHHHH YEEEAAAHHH??¡± shouted Klumpkrump. ¡°Well¡­ DARN!!!!¡± The two pirate ships both shot chains out of cannons on their sides which wrapped all around the gang¡¯s rock spaceship. As this was happening, Bird picked up the Bear Phone in their ship¡¯s control room. It began to ring. As it rang, their ship was getting dragged back to Kearth by the pirate ships using the chains attached to them. ¡°Hola,¡± said DeBear when the phone finished ringing. ¡°Yo, we need help,¡± said Bird. ¡°Oy?¡± oy¡¯d DeBear. ¡°Yeah, pirates from Kearth are kidnapping us, yo,¡± replied Bird. ¡°Get the Bearmy over here.¡± ¡°The Bearmy is on their scheduled Bear Break.¡± ¡°When will it be over?¡± ¡°Two hours,¡± said DeBear. ¡°We don¡¯t have two hours, yo!!¡± ¡°How much time do you have?¡± asked DeBear. ¡°Like, a minute,¡± said Bird. ¡°Well, unless you want to wait two hours, which you don¡¯t, you¡¯ll need to pay a fee that we will give to all the bears to bribe them to work during their break hours.¡± ¡°How much??¡± asked Bird. ¡°Hmm¡­ let¡¯s say that each bear will accept no more than 500 Cat Credits to work during their break,¡± began DeBear. Cat Credits, despite their name, were a universal currency used by everyone across the universe. ¡°If you wished to recruit, say, five ships--¡± ¡°We need at least 10, yo,¡± said Bird. ¡°15, then!¡± said DeBear. ¡°Or 20, even. Better safe than sorry. There are eight bears per ship, so that would make about¡­ hmmm¡­ about 160 bears. At 500 Cat Credits per bear, that¡¯ll be¡­ hold on¡­ 80,000 Cat Credits.¡± ¡°But we can¡¯t pay that much, yo!¡± said Bird. ¡°We have already subtracted it from your Bearnk Account,¡± said DeBear. ¡°Oh, I guess we did have enough money, then,¡± said Bird. ¡°...And you¡¯re now in debt about 79,900 Cat Credits.¡± Chapter 35: The Fatness of Gumpton Bird was forced to disconnect the Bear Phone as the pirates pulled their ship into a chamber on the surface of Kearth. Everything (including Kearth itself) was made of some sort of dark metal. Soon after their ship was dropped into this large empty room, doors on the sides opened and robot mech thingies started walking in. They each had 2 legs and 2 arms, kinda like humans. Their heads, however, were pyramid shaped and each had a red light in the center, which was a camera that let them see to make sure they wouldn¡¯t bump into something and die to death. Each robot held a very large gun-looking thing (they were at least a meter long each) which had red laser scope thingies coming out and aiming at wherever the guns were aimed. All the robot things continued to yell, ¡°DROP YOUR WEAPONS AND EXIT THE SHIP¡± in very robotic voices. So the gang dropped their weapons (plot twist: they didn¡¯t have any) and exited their rock spaceship out of the door. ¡°Now follow us!¡± shouted one of the robots. The gang was led through a door and out into a hallway. It turned out that the entirety of Kearth was built by whoever the pirates were. There were no walls or ceilings in this hallway, so it wasn¡¯t really a hallway. More like a walkway. All around them were all sorts of disconnected rooms and more pathways and beams and chains and odd moving machinery, all built of the dark metal stuff. It turned out that Gumpton was far too large and heavy for the pathway, so while the gang was following the robots, the walkway near Hoofa gave way. She, Gumpton, Qaeron, and Mushpuff fell down and landed on a different pathway about 10 meters below their current one. Then that pathway also fell apart and they plummeted another 10 meters into a room. The robots took no notice of this. ¡°Uh oh?¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s probably not good,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Yo!¡± yelled Bird downwards. ¡°Yoohoo!¡± There was no response from the room that Gumpton and Hoofa and Qaeron and Mushpuff fell into. ¡°Keep following!¡± yelled the robots. So Klumpkrump, Bird, Plagiarize, and Snorter kept following. Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. Meanwhile, the other half of the gang had just fallen into a room filled with tons of mice. When they landed on the ground, the mice ran here and there and everywhere and out the doors. ¡°Huh,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°I wonder what that was about.¡± ¡°Maybe the room was abandoned or something,¡± said Hoofa, looking around. The room, however, did not look very abandoned. It looked like a meeting room and there were no signs of abandonment, such as dust or cobwebs. ¡°Furniture is zmall, yez?¡± said Qaeron. Indeed, he was the first to notice that all the furniture in this room was rather mouse-sized. ¡°Very small!¡± said Hoofa. ¡°Small enough for those mice!¡± said Mushpuff. Everyone in the immediate vicinity gasped at this shocking revelation. ¡°Well now what do we do?¡± asked Hoofa. ¡°Maybe we should just wait here until the Bearmy shows up,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°They should be on their way, based on Bird¡¯s conversation on the Bear Phone.¡± ¡°Yeah, but it took us, like, five days to get here from Bear Stone Planet,¡± said Hoofa. ¡°So it¡¯ll take at least five days for the Bearmy to appear. We need to escape somehow.¡± ¡°And alzo find those artifactz, mmmm?¡± suggested Qaeron. ¡°Yes, because that is the reason we came here in the first place,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Well, I¡¯m sure this door will help us,¡± said Hoofa, riding Gumpton over to a door on the wall. Gumpton opened the door with his trunk. Behind it was a hallway - an ACTUAL hallway this time, with walls and a ceiling. Only one problem presented itself here: the door? Door-sized. Gumpton? Elephant-sized. Such things were not compatible. It was here that Hoofa made the difficult decision to leave Gumpton behind. It was either that or staying in this room for five days and potentially getting the other half of the gang in danger. They needed them! Hoofa promised to return to this room. Would she? I don¡¯t know, and neither do you. I¡¯m making this all up as I go, for the most part. Chapter 36: The Mouse Maker Meanmeanwhilewhile, the other half of the gang (the half consisting of Bird, Plagiarize, Snorter, and Klumpkrump) had been taken down the twisting pathways of the interior of Kearth and eventually placed into a prison zone. ¡°M-M? is currently under maintenance,¡± explained one of the robots. ¡°What is M-M?¡± asked Klumpkrump. Klumpkrump, however, did not get an answer, as the robot had already walked away. ¡°Well what do we do now, y¡¯all?¡± asked Plagiarize. ¡°Wait here and see what happens,¡± said Snorter. ¡°Ugh, how long will that take?¡± asked Plagiarize. ¡°We¡¯ll only know once the waiting is over,¡± explained Snorter. Meanwhile again again, Hoofa, Qaeron, and Mushpuff had gone down the hallway. Eventually they found a door labeled ¡°The Mouse Maker¡±. ¡°What the heck is a mouse maker?¡± asked Mushpuff. ¡°We¡¯re about to find out, yo,¡± said Hoofa, opening the door. At the center of this room was a large contraption with many pipes and wires coming out of it and going in all directions and out of the room. The machine had a normal-sized door on it and a mouse-sized door on the other end. It had many cogs and stuff and looked very sophisticated. The machine appeared to be turned off at the moment, though. ¡°So that¡¯s what a mouse maker is, huh?¡± said Mushpuff. As the three of them walked into the Mouse Maker Room, mice all over the floor scattered and ran out of various doors. If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. ¡°What¡¯s with all the mice in this place??¡± asked Hoofa. ¡°Maybe the pirates from Kearth are taking people as prisoners and turning them into mice!!¡± said Mushpuff with shock. ¡°We need to save Bird and Plagiarize and Snorter and Klumpkrump!!!!¡± ¡°Yo, if your theory is correct, then all we have to do is wait here!¡± realized Hoofa. ¡°They will be taken right to the mouse maker!¡± ¡°Mmmm, Qaeron can attack robotz, yez?¡± suggested Qaeron. ¡°Hide and then attack!¡± ¡°Excellent thinking,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Let¡¯s hide behind these conveniently placed boxes.¡± Mushpuff, Hoofa, and Qaeron hid behind those conveniently placed boxes and waited for the other half of the gang to show up. Eventually, two of the robots from before walked into the room and pulled a lever. All of a sudden, a beam of yellow light which looked quite a lot like a beam from an Energy Cube (because it was a beam from an Energy Cube) came through a hole in the ceiling and hit the Mouse Maker. The machine powered to life. ¡°Guys, are you seeing what I¡¯m seeing?¡± asked Mushpuff. ¡°Ya mean that massive and very obvious beam of light?¡± asked Hoofa. ¡°No! Look at the heads of the robots!¡± Hoofa looked at the heads of the robots and after a few moments saw what Mushpuff saw. The heads were hollow, and inside of them were tiny control rooms. Inside of the control rooms were MICE!! ¡°THE ROBOTS ARE MOUSE POWERED!!¡± screamed Hoofa. This loud exclamation from Hoofa made both the robots look in the direction of Mushpuff and Hoofa and Qaeron. Luckily, the Mouse Maker was very loud and the mouse-mechs quickly dismissed the Screaming of Hoofa. It must have been the wind. ¡°Are you thinking what I¡¯m thinking?¡± whispered Mushpuff. ¡°Yez!¡± said Qaeron. ¡°The cat alzo craves crab legs!¡± ¡°Uh¡­ no,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°I¡¯m thinking that the pirates of Kearth are these mice! And they find prisoners and turn them into mice and make them into pirates as well!¡± ¡°OH MY GOD!!!!¡± yelled Hoofa. Luckily the mouse-mechs didn¡¯t hear her because of the fact that they had already exited the room. Chapter 37: Six Maps Bird, Plagiarize, Snorter, and Klumpkrump were finally being led to the mysterious ¡°M-M¡± after many hours of waiting. They were led down the pathways on the hollow interior of Kearth, down some stairs, and into one of the many rooms held up by supports. Inside it was the Mouse Maker. As soon as the robots (also known as mouse-mechs) closed the door behind them, Qaeron jumped out from behind some boxes and tackled them. Qaeron managed to claw two of them bad enough to make them stop working, and the third one¡¯s head he ripped open and took the mouse inside of it to the outside of it. ¡°Mmmm, hello, yez,¡± said Qaeron. ¡°WHO DO YOU WORK FOR, MOUSE??¡± yelled Klumpkrump. ¡°Here!¡± said Mushpuff, giving the mouse a pen and some paper. ¡°I conveniently happened to find this paper and pen on this table right here.¡± ¡°Why would you think the mouse would be able to write??¡± asked Klumpkrump. ¡°Because it could control that robot. And also, according to our calculations, it used to not be a mouse.¡± Everyone watched the mouse with great interest as it picked up the pen and wrote on the paper. The mouse¡¯s message was as follows: If you don¡¯t kill me then I will help you out. ¡°Sounds like a deal,¡± said Mushpuff, shaking the mouse¡¯s hand. This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. ¡°We need to steal some things from this planet,¡± said Snorter. What? asked the mouse. ¡°The artifacts you guys stole from Smack-Smork a while ago,¡± explained Snorter. ¡°You still got em?¡± Long time ago, wrote the mouse. Then a big war happened and the artifacts are scattered all over the place now. We have made some estimates as to where they went. Come with me. Before the mouse could climb back into its mech suit, the gang made sure to remove all its weapons. Klumpkrump got to hold its massive gun, and Bird got to hold 3 daggers that it had. The mouse then climbed back into its mouse-mech and the gang followed it out of the door of the Mouse Maker Room. Since they were being led by a mouse-mech, they did not attract any suspicion. After being led some ways away in a certain way, the gang ended up in yet another room. This room was on the outer edge of Kearth, and had a large window with a beautiful view of the stars. There were telescopes and some odd devices that nobody in the gang had ever seen before. There were also some maps. ¡°We stole about thirty artifacts from Smack-Smork,¡± said the mouse in the mech, speaking through the robot voice transmitter. ¡°But we could only estimate the location of six of them once they were scattered.¡± The mouse gave Bird 6 maps. Each one showed the location of a planet where one of the artifacts was. ¡°Great, thanks, mouse!¡± said Bird. ¡°Now let¡¯s get out of here.¡± ¡°One problem,¡± said the mouse. ¡°What?¡± ¡°Your spaceship has been¡­ scrapped.¡± Chapter 38: The Fatness of Gumpton Part 2 ¡°Well now how are we supposed to get out of here, yo??¡± asked Bird. ¡°You can borrow one of our ships,¡± said the mouse. ¡°They¡¯re very good.¡± ¡°And what happened to our Energy Cube??¡± asked Klumpkrump. ¡°Yeah we kinda stole that one.¡± ¡°Can we have it back?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t have the authority to be able to do that,¡± explained the mouse. ¡°I am at the bottom of the pirate hierarchy. It sucks.¡± ¡°Maybe we can steal it back after we get the artifacts,¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°Yeah, that would be pretty freaking epic,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Well, lead the way to the ship, bro!¡± said Hoofa. As the gang was being led by the mouse whose name was yet to be revealed, Hoofa glimpsed Gumpton on one of the lower pathways. A bunch of balloons were tied to his back and he was floating along, being pushed by some mouse-mechs. ¡°YOU!!!!¡± yelled Hoofa. ¡°Give me my elephant back!!!¡± The mouse-mechs down below got in position to fire, but the one with the gang gave them some sort of weird signal. A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. ¡°Gimme that,¡± said Hoofa, snatching the mouse¡¯s gun out of Klumpkrump¡¯s paws. ¡°I really don¡¯t think that¡¯s a good id--¡± said Bird, before Hoofa shouted a battle cry and jumped down to the lower platform, firing the gun at the mouse-mechs. Of the shots that Hoofa fired, a couple of them did manage to hit the mouse-mechs, disabling them and making the mice inside run away. But one shot also hit GUMPTON! And these guns shot large orange lasers made of fire that burnt their targets. Plagiarize noted this. ¡°OH NO!¡± shouted Hoofa. ¡°GUMPTON ARE YOU OKAY??¡± Gumpton seemed to be relatively fine except for the fact that he was still floating and he had drifted so now instead of being above the pathway he was above a very long drop. Worst of all, one of the balloons had popped, so now instead of staying at a nice level elevation, he was slowly losing altitude. ¡°Don¡¯t just stand there, guys!¡± yelled Hoofa. ¡°Get over there and start blowing!!¡± The gang (including the mouse) walked over to a pathway that was behind Gumpton and started blowing him back towards Hoofa. They were all furiously blowing but he was still moving much faster downwards than he was sidewards. In the middle of all this chaos, an emergency announcement alerted all the pirates of Kearth that a human, 2 cat people, a dog, a penguin, a bear, and a pig were working together with one of their fellow pirates and that they needed to be stopped. The gang saw mouse-mechs making their way towards them in the distance. ¡°Hoofa, is he gonna make it??¡± shouted Klumpkrump. Hoofa, from her position, could see that Gumpton was a lost cause. He was already below the level of the walkway she was on. They would have to go down to lower walkways to get him. But she knew they wouldn¡¯t be able to get him because of the mouse-mechs. So Hoofa confirmed to the rest of the gang that he could make it and told them to keep blowing as she desperately tried to pull Gumpton up onto the walkway. ¡°Come on, Gumpton!!¡± said Hoofa, holding on to Gumpton¡¯s trunk. Eventually Gumpton got too low for her to reach him, at which point she jumped onto his back and descended with him, escaping the mouse-mechs up above. Chapter 39: Danger Above, Ships Below Hoofa and Gumpton descended further and further until Gumpton eventually landed on top of a massive room. Hoofa got off and looked up. All she could see was a lot of movement and the occasional blast of a mouse-mech¡¯s laser gun thingy. She and Gumpton were quite far down, so it was hard to make out what exactly was happening. Gumpton make an elephant noise and Hoofa turned to look at him. His trunk was pointed at a hatch on the ground. ¡°Great idea! I¡¯ll go in there and see if there¡¯s anything useful,¡± suggested Hoofa. As it turned out, there was something rather useful. The room they landed on top of was one of the many ship garages of Kearth. It was filled with pirate ships (the flying versions of the pirate ships of Earth that the Kearthian pirates were flying before). Hoofa walked up to the door of one of the ships. It had a lock on it, which was very unfortunate. ¡°Gumpton, get down here!¡± yelled Hoofa from below. Gumpton shoved himself into the hatch but he was too big to fit and got stuck in the hole. Meanwhile, up above, the rest of the gang was in a not so good situation. They were surrounded by mouse-mechs with guns, and their only gun was with Hoofa because she took it from Klumpkrump because she took it from their mouse friend whose name still hasn¡¯t been mentioned for some reason. It¡¯s kinda awkward having to refer to him as ¡°their mouse friend¡±, though. Oh well. ¡°Surrender now or you¡¯ll get shot,¡± said one of the mouse-mechs in its robotic voice. Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website. ¡°Oh yeah? Shoot me!¡± declared Plagiarize, stepping forward. The mouse-mech repeated its warning. Plagiarize swiped at its gun, trying to grab it, but got shot in the chest instead¡­ and was unharmed. ¡°Ha, take that!¡± said Plagiarize, snatching the gun out of the mouse-mech¡¯s hand as it stood in shock. ¡°I¡¯m immune to fire!¡± Plagiarize then punched the mouse-mech in the face. However, since its face was made of metal, it hurt a lot. He dropped the gun and it went falling down, down, down. Then the mouse-mech punched him in the face, which also hurt a lot because its fist was metal and it came swinging at high velocity. It hurt so much that Plagiarize fell off the walkway and also went falling down, down, down. ¡°OH NO, THIS ISN¡¯T GOOD!!!¡± yelled Plagiarize as he fell away from the rest of the gang. As Plagiarize fell, Hoofa was trying to figure out how to get Gumpton out of the hole he was stuck in. Then Plagiarize landed on Gumpton, squashing the elephant and himself through the hole. ¡°Ah, thanks, Plagiarize,¡± said Hoofa. ¡°No problem.¡± Using Gumpton, Hoofa was able to get up over the edge of the pirate ship. ¡°You guys stay there, I¡¯ll unlock the door,¡± said Hoofa, turning around and leaving, presumably to look for a passage to the front door, which pirate ships definitely have. That¡¯s how they¡¯re entered. The front door. Plagiarize and Gumpton were left to stand next to each other until the front door was unlocked. ¡°So¡­¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°You¡¯re¡­ an elephant.¡± Gumpton stared at him blankly. Chapter 40: Bear Barrage Numerous minutes later, the rest of the gang was being led to the infamous Mouse Maker Room to be turned into mice. And the odds that there was another bear waiting to ambush the guards escorting them were so low they were practically 0%. Suddenly there was a great rumbling and crashing from below. Everyone looked down to see a Kearthian pirate ship crashing around all over the place. ¡°STOP IN THE NAME OF¡­ ME!!!¡± boomed Hoofa¡¯s voice from the ship¡¯s speakers as the ship slowly made its way to the rest of the gang. Down below, back in the ship garage, two more pirate ships were being loaded with mouse-mechs and being powered on. Hoofa did not have much time. Knowing this (and also because she sucked at piloting this ship), she crashed the ship directly into the walkway that the rest of the gang was on. Luckily, she didn¡¯t hit them. She came less than a meter from one of the mouse guards. ¡°Okay, dudes! Run!!¡± shouted Hoofa. Mushpuff, Bird, Snorter, Klumpkrump, Qaeron, and the mouse friend dude all ran. The guards powered up their guns but were then squashed by Gumpton, who had been launched out of the elephant gun (gun that shoots elephants) conveniently attached to each ship. ¡°Man, I knew that elephant gun would come in handy one day,¡± said mouse friend. ¡°Actually, I didn¡¯t. But you know.¡± The gang all walked through the front door of the pirate ship and Gumpton walked through the elephant door. ¡°We gotta get the Energy Cube!¡± Klumpkrump said after finding the piloting room where Hoofa was. ¡°Dude, there¡¯s no time! We gotta leave!¡± Hoofa then turned on full thrusters and blew through the outer wall of Kearth. And it was at just that very moment that the Bearmy finally arrived. Bird spoke through the messaging system. ¡°Yo, it¡¯s us!¡± said Bird. ¡°TROTCCAASF!¡± ¡°Oh my god do you still need our help??¡± asked DeBear. ¡°I mean, we did leave our Energy Cube in there, yo. And they also have their own Energy Cube. If you help us get ours, you can keep theirs.¡± This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there. DeBear squealed upon hearing this message. He commanded the Bearmy to open fire on Kearth. Hundreds of Bear Bullets were fired at Kearth, but the planet¡¯s Energy Cube vaporized them¡­ but not all of them. There were so many bullets from tons of different angles and only one Energy Cube¡¯s power was being harnessed. Some Bear Bullets were getting past the cube¡¯s laser of vaporization and hitting the outer layer of Kearth¡­ or they WOULD be, if Kearth didn¡¯t have an ENERGY SHIELD, just like the one around Pig City. All the Bear Bullets hit it and were destroyed. ¡°Fire your Bear Missiles!¡± commanded DeBear. In case you forgot, the Bearmy¡¯s ships came equipped not only with the standard Bear Bullets, but also BEAR MISSILES, with BEAR TECHNOLOGY, ABLE TO TAKE DOWN ENERGY SHIELDS!!! JUST WHAT THEY USED ON PIG CITY 34 CHAPTERS AGO!!! Each Bearmy ship only had the capacity to store one Bissile, since they were so expensive to produce and were so massive. They contained trace amounts of gricklite, the most expensive material in the universe. Cow Galaxy had recently started conquering any and all planets with gricklite and mining them, so the Bearmy¡¯s supply was starting to run short. Anyways, as soon as the first few Bear Missiles hit Kearth¡¯s energy shield, it started to slowly disintegrate away from the point of contact. All the missiles after the first few hit the bare metal surface of Kearth, taking off tiny bits and pieces. After all the Bear Missiles were fired, the Bearmy continued its barrage of rapidfire Bear Bullets. I suppose I should explain these Bear Bullets I keep mentioning. They are small bullets that are colored brown. They look quite like a normal bullet, and they act the same except for one small catch. On impact, they burst open. For inside of each bullet is a tiny bear, you see, and that bear is let loose upon the bursting of the bullet. And since these bullets are usually shot in space, they will not lose any speed at all! Almost immediately, the surface of Kearth was flooded with hundreds of tiny bears. These bears can survive in space, by the way. They¡¯re perfectly suited for space combat. The tiny bears started clawing at the metal surface of the planet and slowly damaged it. The Bearmy made sure to shoot bullets all over the surface of the planet to evenly distribute the bears. Within 5 minutes, most of the tiny bears had clawed their way through the surface of Kearth. Most of the surface of Kearth where the Bearmy had attacked had been reduced to a mesh of metal beams. But it was at this moment that at least 30 Kearthian pirate ships flew out of a ship garage and made their way towards the Bearmy. ¡°Do you guys have energy shields on your ships?¡± Mushpuff asked DeBear. ¡°Only on my ship,¡± said DeBear. ¡°We¡¯re too poor to afford them for the entire Bearmy.¡± Energy shields were powered using devices that required diamonds to make, so unless you had a lot of diamonds, you would not be able to make a ton of energy shields. ¡°Does your ship have one?¡± ¡°Yup,¡± said Bird, seeing a symbol on the piloting screen that meant an energy shield was active. ¡°Well this isn¡¯t good!¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Why not?¡± asked DeBear. ¡°This means the rest of the pirate ships likely have shields too!!¡± DeBear screamed. Chapter 41: Pirate Negotiations The gang¡¯s ship received a message from one of the Kearthian ships. ¡°Hand over James McMouse and we¡¯ll let you go,¡± said the robotic voice of a mouse-mech. ¡°Otherwise, we¡¯ll kill you. And don¡¯t even think about powering up your hyper engines because we have disabled your energy shield and if we hear you powering up the engines we will kill you!!! We shall give you 5 minutes.¡± ¡°Yo, gang, what do we do?¡± asked Bird. ¡°What can we do?¡± asked Snorter. ¡°Duh, just take the mouse dude out of his suit!¡± suggested Klumpkrump. ¡°Then how will I communicate?¡± asked James McMouse. ¡°We¡¯ll get to that when we get to that,¡± said Klumpkrump. And so James McMouse was taken out of his mech suit. ¡°Won¡¯t they see that he¡¯s not in the suit?¡± asked Mushpuff. ¡°We can cover the suit with a blanket or something,¡± said Klumpkrump. Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings. The mech suit was covered in a blanket, put into a storage container, and launched towards the Kearthian pirate swarm. One of the ships aligned to retrieve the box. Bird began to power up the hyper engines. ¡°Halt!¡± warned a broadcast from a Kearthian ship. ¡°Power down the engines.¡± Bird did as instructed. ¡°We need to be sure you haven¡¯t tricked us. Wait for our confirmation, and then you will be free to go.¡± The next minute was extremely tense. Everyone was anxiously waiting for the ships to blast them to death¡­ but it never happened! ¡°Okay, one more thing,¡± said the voice from the Kearthian ship. ¡°We just need our ship back.¡± Then, at that very moment, the gang got another broadcast from DeBear¡¯s ship. ¡°Get on our ship and leave their ship!¡± ordered DeBear. ¡°Never be on the same ship at the same time as them, that¡¯s a very bad idea. It¡¯s rule 86 of Bear Code.¡± ¡°We will board one of the ships of our allies and then you can take your ship back,¡± said Bird to the pirates. ¡°Nope!¡± said the mouse-mech from the pirate fleet. ¡°We have very strict rules, you see. All exchanges must be done in person.¡± ¡°Why?¡± asked Bird. ¡°If you leave the ship, how can we be sure you haven¡¯t planted a bomb and the whole thing is going to blow up as soon as we board it?¡± ¡°Dang, that¡¯s a good point,¡± said Plagiarize out loud to nobody in particular. ¡°Drop all your weapons and wait there. We¡¯re boarding your ship.¡± ¡°You guys need to think of something, fast!¡± ordered DeBear. ¡°They¡¯re not just going to take their ship back.¡± Chapter 42: Birds Epic Trickery The gang¡¯s stolen ship was chained up and another pirate ship docked up against it. Their door was blasted open and a bunch of mouse-mechs walked in, one of them holding none other than James McMouse. He had crawled into the box at the last second because he was called back by the rest of the pirates. That¡¯s right, he was WORKING AS A SPY the WHOLE TIME. James told the rest of the pirates about the six stolen maps and now they wanted them back. Once the pirates boarded the stolen ship, the energy shields on it were reactivated from the Kearth Control Station to make sure that even if the gang escaped and the pirates were left on board, the Bearmy couldn¡¯t shoot them. ¡°Hey, our shields are back!¡± noted Bird. ¡°Ya think we can power up our engines and escape?¡± asked Hoofa. ¡°Nah bro, they¡¯ll kill the Bearmy if we do that. And they could also probably just deactivate the shields again. Besides, I have a plan.¡± ¡°What¡¯s the plan, yo?¡± asked Hoofa. If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. ¡°Wait and see¡­ yo.¡± Seconds later, the pirates all entered the room and demanded the maps. Bird turned around and opened a small compartment that he had put the maps in. Bird¡¯s ultra genius plan had already been underway before this, because he had made copies of all of the maps and their coordinates just in case something bad happened to the originals. Bird grabbed one map of each planet and handed back six maps to the pirates. They looked through the maps. After a few seconds, the pirates were convinced that these were all the maps. ¡°Alright, come with us,¡± said one of the mouse-mechs. ¡°Tell your friends to dock to the other side of the ship. We will wait at the door with you until you leave.¡± I have nothing more to write on this matter because all happened as the pirates said. They waited with the gang at the door until DeBear¡¯s ship docked up to it. The gang walked through (they had to re-dock at the elephant door for Gumpton) and the pirates took back their stolen ship. All tensions were settled and the Bearmy left the scene immediately after. Shortly after, the pirates noticed that two of the maps they had been given were duplicates. Bird had accidentally given them 2 copies of the same map!! The pirates knew the gang had copied the maps. And now they needed to protect their artifacts!!! Well, I guess they didn¡¯t need to. But they wanted to!!!!! Chapter 43: The Bear Bank ¡°Now, in case you forgot, you still owe me 79,900 Cat Credits,¡± said DeBear to the gang after their rescue when they were all safely flying away in their Bearmy ship. ¡°But we have none, yo!¡± said Bird. ¡°My problems consist of corn and politics,¡± said DeBear. ¡°This is not my problem.¡± ¡°Corn?¡± ¡°And politics!¡± ¡°Well what¡¯s gonna happen if we don¡¯t pay you, yo?¡± ¡°What do you think, hmm?¡± asked DeBear. ¡°You¡¯ll go to Bourt and get sentenced to Brison.¡± ¡°Hm, that¡¯s not ideal,¡± replied Bird. ¡°You could work for us to repay the debt,¡± suggested DeBear. ¡°What jobs do you have?¡± ¡°You could become a Bearmy soldier. You could be a Beardyguard for the King.¡± ¡°Y¡¯all got a new king?¡± asked Snorter. ¡°No, not yet. We¡¯re still working on finding one,¡± explained DeBear. ¡°It¡¯s a very complicated process.¡± ¡°How¡¯s it work?¡± asked Snorter. ¡°Well, first they gather all five of the Five Powerful Bears of the Bears, or FPB of the B for short. I, the leader of the Bearmy, am one of them. There is also the Budje, or Bear Judge if you don¡¯t like Bearnacular. There¡¯s also the head of the Bearnk, Bear Bank. You¡¯ll meet with him soon to discuss the debt. Then there¡¯s the head of Bear Foreign Relations and finally the Bear President. Additionally, the Three Powerful Bear Leaders of the Five Powerful Bears of the Bears, or TPBL of the FPB of the B for short, must also meet with us. They consist of--¡± ¡°Okay, nevermind. Just keep listing potential jobs,¡± said Snorter. ¡°The only job remaining is Bear Miner,¡± said DeBear. ¡°They go out to the quarry and mine stone for the Bear Fortress. But you also get paid whenever you find a valuable gem or material. You get 10% of its worth.¡± ¡°Oh, sick!¡± exclaimed Plagiarize. ¡°We could get rick quick with that!¡± ¡°How long will it take us to repay our debt?¡± asked Mushpuff. Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings. ¡°A few years, maybe,¡± said DeBear. ¡°Well we certainly don¡¯t have that much time,¡± said Bird. After much conversation, it was decided that the decision would be decided at a later point. For now, the gang relaxed in the Bearmy ship as it flew back to Bear Stone Planet. Upon arriving at Bear Stone Planet five days later, DeBear parked his ship in the Bearmy Garage, which had a massive door at the base of Bear Fortress. This garage stored all the ships of the Bearmy and was where all the gricklite from the quarries went to be used in Bear Missiles. DeBear led Mushpuff, Bird, Plagiarize, Snorter, Hoofa, Gumpton, Klumpkrump, and Qaeron through the halls of Bear Fortress. They all had very fancy rugs and were decorated with beautiful gems. Bears walked here and there and everywhere - into doors, out of doors, through doors, under doors, around doors, behind doors, in front of doors, and above doors. Eventually they arrived at the central room. The central room of Bear Fortress was a very large tower with at least 20 floors, though quite possibly upwards of 24 and certainly no less than 18. The center of each floor in the room was gone, so you could look up from the bottom floor and see all the way to the top and out of the fabled Bear Dome, which had a stained glass pattern on it that depicted a bear being crowned as Bear King. The dome was currently covered with tape. ¡°What¡¯s with the tape?¡± asked Mushpuff. ¡°It¡¯s a tradition, you see,¡± explained DeBear as he walked towards a staircase. ¡°Anyways, come along!¡± The gang followed DeBear up no less than 18 but no more than 24 flights of stairs, all the way to the top floor of the central room. ¡°Now come through this door,¡± said He, DeBear, walking through two large double doors. A label above the doors read ¡°BEAR BANK?¡±. The Bear Bank was a sizeable room filled with over a hundred bears. It was quite bustling. DeBear led the gang through the crowd of bears, and they received a lot of attention. Their case was quite well known among the bears, after all. They were taken to a door in the back of the room which DeBear unlocked with a key. This was the room of the head of the Bearnk. DeBear led the gang in and then left to attend to other important matters. This room was shaped like a rectangle, and the door they entered from was on its short side. On the opposite side was a very large circular vault door with a diameter of about 5 meters. Between them and the vault door was a small desk with a chair and a bear and some paperwork. ¡°Mmmm, welcome!¡± said the bear, looking up from his paperwork. ¡°I am Mound, head of the Bearnk. Also, dog, weapons aren¡¯t allowed in here.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a replica,¡± said Hoofa, showing off her Kearthian pirate gun she still had. ¡°It doesn¡¯t do anything.¡± ¡°Very well. Come sit down, everyone.¡± ¡°Where, yo?¡± asked Bird. ¡°There¡¯s no chairs.¡± ¡°Just wait for it,¡± said Mound. It was a good long 10 seconds before anything happened. Then a section of the wall slid away and some chairs tumbled out. These were bear-sized chairs, though, so everyone except for Gumpton and Qaeron struggled to set them up and sit on them. ¡°So--¡± began Mound, just before he was cut off by a great rumbling, followed by the Bear Alarms going off. ¡°Oh no!¡± shouted Mound. ¡°What¡¯s happening??¡± asked Snorter. ¡°This specific Bear Alarm means there¡¯s an attack or an invasion! Follow me!¡± Mound walked up to the large circular vault door and stuck a key in a small keyhole and then entered a 16-digit code and then flicked a few levers and played a game of chess against an AI and then scanned his paw and then the door flung open. Chapter 44: Oh No, Its the Cow Galaxy! And Theyre Invading! Meanwhile, in the rest of Bear Fortress, chaos was erupting. As it turned out, the invaders were none other than some COW GALAXY ships. They had discovered the trace amounts of gricklite on Bear Stone Planet and wanted it. DeBear had raced down to the ship garage to try to attack them, but it was too late. The cows attacked that first and not a single Bearmy ship remained. As he stood and wondered what to do next, a cow spotted him and stabbed him with her gricklite sword. R.I.P. DeBear. In the radio room of Bear Fortress, bears were scrambling and sending out tons of distress signals across the galaxy, hoping someone would hear them and send help. Meanwhilewhile, Mound was leading the gang into his personal spaceship (each member of the FPB of the B gets their own). It was located inside the vault. He powered up the hyper engines and blasted away, escaping the Cow Galaxy attack. In case you¡¯re wondering, no, there was no door inside the vault for the spaceship to exit from. He blasted right through the wall. However, this was a bad plan, as the cows put a gricklite energy shield around the entire planet. The spaceship warned them that it could not go forwards and stopped abruptly in front of the shield. ¡°AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!¡± screamed Mound. ¡°What?¡± asked Bird. ¡°A gricklite shield,¡± said Mound. ¡°How do you destroy one of those?¡± asked Klumpkrump. The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement. ¡°You need a gricklite missile,¡± explained Mound. ¡°So now w--¡± ¡°Luckily, this ship is equipped with a Bear Missile,¡± continued Mound, pressing the Bissile Button. A Bear Missile shot out of their ship and hit the gricklite shield, causing a big explosion. Unlike with a normal energy shield, the Bissile only destroyed a small section of the gricklite shield and it was swiftly regenerating. ¡°Yargh!¡± exclaimed Mound, activating the hyper boosters and blasting the ship away from Bear Stone Planet. ¡°Well that was intense,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°What do we do next?¡± ¡°I guess we oughta go to these planets and find these artifacts,¡± said Bird, holding up the six maps from Kearth. ¡°...what about me?¡± asked Mound. ¡°I did not sign up for this. I¡¯m just a member of the FPB of the B, I am not meant to go on crazy space adventures!¡± ¡°Well, unless you want us to throw you out of the ship, you¡¯ve gotta come along,¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°I suppose you can just wait in the ship while we¡¯re out having our great adventures and whatnot.¡± ¡°Sounds fine to me,¡± said Mound. ¡°Okay, let¡¯s take a look at these maps, gang,¡± said Bird. Bird laid the maps down on a table in the control room. There were six of them, not seven, not eight, and most likely not nine. But one thing became very apparent very fast. There was a duplicate!! ¡°OMG!!!¡± shouted Hoofa. ¡°This means that the pirates also have a duplicate map!! They¡¯re gonna murder us for copying the maps!!!¡± Qaeron and Klumpkrump both screamed. Chapter 45: The Return to Pig Planet After some talking, the gang decided to go to Pig Planet (one of their maps led them to it), the planet that Bird and Mushpuff and Plagiarize went to all that time ago, just before the bears attacked them and destroyed the energy shield around Pig City. Luckily, Pig Planet was very close to Bear Stone Planet (in terms of the scale of the entire universe, at least), and it didn¡¯t even take a day for the gang and Mound to arrive. Upon entering the atmosphere, they saw what remained of Pig City. Because of the incredibly harsh weather of Pig Planet, the city was in ruins. The sky was perpetually dark as night in the day and even darker at night because of the very thick layer of clouds. Some of the most intense thunderstorms and fastest wind occurred on this planet. Mound¡¯s ship was hit by lightning multiple times but luckily it had an energy shield and was quite fine. Everyone inside did get quite shaken up, though. The fast wind blew the ship around, making it nearly impossible to control. Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. ¡°So where do y¡¯all think this artifact is?¡± asked Klumpkrump amidst all this chaos. ¡°Probably anywhere but the city,¡± said Snorter, ¡°considering most of this planet is unexplored. All pigs that ever left the protection of the energy shield were never seen again.¡± ¡°Well then let¡¯s go to the unexplored places!¡± said Hoofa. ¡°Mound, take us away!¡± ¡°I¡¯m trying!!!¡± shouted Mound as the ship spiraled out of control and smacked into the side of a building, causing it (the building) to collapse on top of the ship and trap them in place. ¡°Gosh darn it!¡± said Klumpkrump as everyone screamed and panicked as the ship was crashing. Chapter 46: The Exploding Magic Death Ball ¡°Gee, now what?¡± asked Plagiarize, snacking on peanuts provided by Mound. Mound always kept peanuts in his ship in case of emergency. ¡°I can only think of one option,¡± said Mound. ¡°We detach the energy shield from the ship and carry it with us. But that means I would have to come too.¡± ¡°Well if that¡¯s our only option, then you¡¯re coming!¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°Yo, we should attach the shield to Gumpton!¡± said Hoofa. ¡°Because he¡¯s the biggest. And he wouldn¡¯t have to carry it.¡± ¡°Excellent idea, dude,¡± said Bird. Mound unlocked a mysterious compartment in the control room using a mysterious key. Inside of it was a spherical object made of metal with glowing blue hexagon patterns all over it. Mound took it out of the compartment. ¡°As long as we don¡¯t lose this, we¡¯ll be fine,¡± said Mound, dropping the energy shield accidentally. It made a very loud CLANG noise when it hit the ground. ¡°I meant to do that. It was a demonstration of how sturdy these things are. Lemme just--¡± It then exploded into a million pieces, sending shrapnel all over the room which luckily didn¡¯t hit anything except for Snorter¡¯s left eye. ¡°MY EYE!!!¡± screamed Snorter. ¡°Uhh¡­¡± said Mound. ¡°OH MY GOD!!¡± yelled Bird. ¡°BLOOD!!¡± Bird fainted and Plagiarize ran around in circles shouting that they were all gonna die. Qaeron touched Snorter¡¯s eye hole to try to see if he could fix it, causing her to scream louder and also causing Qaeron to scream as well. ¡°Oh, that wasn¡¯t even the energy shield!¡± said Mound. ¡°That was the Exploding Magic Death Ball, a weapon that comes equipped in Bearmy ships. Here¡¯s the ACTUAL energy shield,¡± he said, taking an identical glowing metal sphere out of an identical compartment which opened with the exact same key. The ship yelled a warning that the energy shield was no longer active. ¡°I always confuse the two!¡± ¡°I think we need medical attention!¡± said Mushpuff. Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original. ¡°Mmmm, well, Bearmy ships do come equipped with medical equipment!¡± ¡°Great!¡± ¡°...is something I would say if Bearmy ships came equipped with medical equipment!¡± finished Mound. ¡°Unfortunately for us, they don¡¯t.¡± ¡°Gah!¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Maybe we can find a hospital in this city!¡± said Klumpkrump. The gang, along with Mound, took the energy shield with them and walked out the door of their ship into an alleyway between two buildings. Rain was coming down hard and it was quite cold outside, and unfortunately for them, water could pass through energy shields. The ground outside was in water about 30 centimeters deep. It was also icy cold. The only light source was the almost constant lightning that lit up the sky. ¡°Ahoy!¡± shouted Plagiarize, pointing to a hospital that was conveniently located across the street. ¡°Hospitality!¡± They couldn¡¯t see far past the hospital because everything was super foggy because of the dust that was in the air because of all the buildings that got wrecked in the Bearmy invasion and all the buildings that got wrecked afterwards due to extreme weather conditions. The gang slowly made their way across the flooded street. The wind was much stronger out in the middle of the street instead of near the edges and Klumpkrump and Mushpuff almost flew away. Qaeron had to grab them and carry them the rest of the way. In fact, everyone was grabbing onto Qaeron and Mound because they were big and not as susceptible to being blown away. And also they were warm. Just before everyone got to the door of the hospital, there was a shout from down the street. However, because of the rain and wind and thunder, only Mushpuff, at the back, heard it. When everyone got inside, Snorter was led away to a room by Hoofa, Klumpkrump, and Bird. The rest of everyone stayed behind in the main waiting area. Few of the lights worked, and they were flickering. ¡°Did you guys hear a shout outside before we entered the building?¡± asked Mushpuff to Plagiarize, Qaeron, Mound, and Gumpton. ¡°Nah,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Mmmm, nope,¡± said Mound. ¡°Yez!¡± said Qaeron. ¡°By which I mean, mmmm, no.¡± Gumpton shook his head. Just then, the front door of the hospital was blasted open and three boars walked in. ¡°REMAIN CALM!!¡± yelled one of the boars as Qaeron and Mound screamed and ran everywhere. Hoofa ran into the room with her gun from Kearth and aimed it at the boars. ¡°WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DO YOU WANT??!???¡± shouted Hoofa. ¡°We come with no hostile intentions!¡± shouted a boar. ¡°Let us tell our tale!¡± ¡°Okay!¡± Chapter 47: The Tragic Tale of the Boars After the boars were tied up (the gang didn¡¯t know if they could trust them), they recounted their tale. ¡°We used to live in Pig City with the rest of the pigs, you see. There were quite a lot of us back then. But then the pigs started getting meaner and meaner to us until they just recently kicked us all out of their city. In the harsh conditions of the rest of the planet, most of us died. We started living underground. Since you guys have a ship, would you be able to escort us off of the planet? Pretty please? We¡¯ll give you something special in return.¡± ¡°And what might that special thing be??¡± asked Hoofa. ¡°It¡¯s something we found deep underground,¡± explained the boar. ¡°It¡¯s a gem, but it¡¯s magic or something.¡± ¡°Magic in what way??¡± asked Mushpuff. ¡°It lets you shoot fire and stuff,¡± said the boar. ¡°BIRD!!¡± yelled Mushpuff, causing Bird to run into the room. ¡°Yo?¡± ¡°CHECK THE MAP!!¡± Bird produced the map that led them to Pig Planet in the first place. ¡°Does it say anything about what the artifact might be?¡± ¡°Uh¡­¡± said Bird, scouring the map. ¡°No.¡± ¡°Well then show us this gem thingy, boars!¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Oh yeah, why are those boars here?¡± asked Bird. ¡°It¡¯s a long, sad tale of the treachery of the pigs.¡± ¡°Very depressing,¡± added Hoofa. Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences. At just that very moment, Klumpkrump walked out with Snorter by her side. ¡°They¡¯ve got some very advanced medical equipment,¡± said Klumpkrump, showing off Snorter¡¯s new eyepatch. ¡°It really didn¡¯t require any knowledge at all!¡± ¡°Did you do something to my eye or are those boars?¡± asked Snorter, looking at the boars who were tied up in the corner of the room. The three boars gasped. Snorter gasped. Klumpkrump gasped. Plagiarize and Mushpuff and Bird gasped. Qaeron screamed as he fell flat on his face after falling over due to the fact that he was doing a handstand in the corner of the room. ¡°You!¡± yelled boar. ¡°ME!¡± yelled Snorter. ¡°You¡¯re a pig!¡± yelled another boar. ¡°How dare you,¡± said Snorter, who was SHOCKED. ¡°But you are!¡± ¡°Oh. Well so what? You¡¯re a BOAR. We kicked you out for a reason.¡± ¡°You did??¡± asked Mushpuff. ¡°Uh oh,¡± said one of the boars. ¡°We didn¡¯t expect a pig to be here.¡± ¡°Snorter! Why did the pigs kick the boars out??¡± asked Hoofa. ¡°Over the course of the many years the boars were here,¡± began Snorter, ¡°they constantly committed crimes. 99% of crimes committed in the city were from boars. No matter what laws we put in place, they wouldn¡¯t stop. So we exiled them. They¡¯re too violent.¡± ¡°Uh¡­ that¡¯s just propaganda!¡± said the boar. ¡°Oh really? And how do you know that?¡± asked Snorter. ¡°Because it¡¯s written on that poster,¡± said the boar, pointing behind Snorter. Snorter turned around and looked at the poster. It showed a pig giving a thumbs up with the caption: ¡°Message for government officials: always spread the lie that the reason boars got kicked out is because they committed 99% of all crimes in Pig City (it¡¯s propaganda and has nothing to do with the actual reason) (also make sure NOT to hang this poster in any public space, such as the wall of a hospital waiting room)¡±. ¡°Oh,¡± said Snorter. ¡°Then what¡¯s the real reason you guys were kicked out?¡± ¡°The pig government never told us,¡± said boar. ¡°But now we probably will never know because they are literally all dead.¡± ¡°Lol!¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°Anyways show us your magic gem.¡± Chapter 48: They Show Them Their Magic Gem It was a long and treacherous journey to the lair of the boars, and approximately zero individuals died along the way. The gang, of course, had their energy shield, which they used to do something called Not Dying. Along the journey, the gang and the boars walked outside the bounds of Pig City. Out here, the storm was even crazier. The rain was pretty much going sideways because of the strong wind and the ground was very mushy. They couldn¡¯t see the ground except when lightning flashed, which was quite frequent. After, like, an hour of walking, everyone arrived at the entrance to the lair of the boars, which looked quite a lot like the mouth of a cave. Because of the fact that it was one. Of course. The three boars led the way into the cave, lightning a torch once they were under protection of the roof. There was a very long spiral staircase that continued to go downwards until everyone¡¯s feet were very tired of constantly turning. At the bottom of the spiral staircase was a tunnel with many other tunnels leading off of it. ¡°This is our lair,¡± said one of the boars. ¡°It has served us well in the time we¡¯ve been here.¡± ¡°How¡¯d ya dig it out?¡± asked Klumpkrump. ¡°With our tusks,¡± said Boar. ¡°Anyways, follow us!¡± ¡°We¡¯ve been doing so,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Continue to do so, then.¡± The gang followed the three boars, except this time they made sure to follow them even more than they already were. They were very following now. The boars led them to the end of the tunnel they were in and into a small room. On a table in this room was a glowing red gem. Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°Ooh, so pretties!¡± said Qaeron, reaching out his paw to touch the gem. ¡°Now hold on a second!¡± said one of the boars. ¡°That gem is very hot, see? It will burn you if you touch it.¡± ¡°Well that shouldn¡¯t be a problem for me!¡± exclaimed Plagiarize. ¡°I¡¯m immune to fire and/or heat!¡± ¡°Why is that?¡± asked the boar. ¡°My heart is a frog,¡± said Plagiarize, pushing Qaeron aside and picking up the Gem. ¡°So how¡¯s this thing work?¡± he asked. ¡°You just gotta thrust it forward,¡± explained one of the boars. ¡°Quickly pull it back for a fireball or keep it forwards for a full continuous blast of fire.¡± Plagiarize thrust the gem forwards at the wall and a big blast of flames shot out of the gem. The room was filled with immense heat. Plagiarize pulled it back and the flames stopped. ¡°Wowzers!¡± he said. ¡°This is epic!¡± ¡°Maybe we can use that to destroy the collapsed building that¡¯s on top of our ship,¡± said Mound. ¡°Then we can get outta here.¡± And so, with boars behind them, the gang began the long trek back to Pig City. Along the way, Mound got into a conversation with the boars. Mound explained why the Bearmy invaded Pig City and the boars recounted their various tales and stuff. Mound eventually agreed to come with them to whatever planet they were to be dropped off on. ¡°What planet are we going to be dropped off on?¡± Mound asked the gang. ¡°Why of course,¡± said Hoofa from atop Gumpton, ¡°none other than my home planet!¡± ¡°We dropped off some fish there as well,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°I wonder how they¡¯re doing,¡± wondered Hoofa. Chapter 49: Return to Hoofa Homeland The gang eventually arrived back at their ship along with Mound and the three boars. As it turned out, fire could not pass through energy shields, so Plagiarize had to stick his arms out of it in order to blast fire on the rubble atop their ship. Upon being hit with flames and heat, the rocks all screamed and ran away because it was very hot. Everyone loaded onto the ship, which was actually Mound¡¯s ship in case you forgot, and Mound piloted it away, though not before the energy shield was equipped back onto it. Hoofa, with her knowledge of her planet¡¯s coordinates, guided Mound to it as everyone else sat in the living room and did various spaceship activities. Within a few days, the gang, Mound, and the three boars arrived arrived at Hoofa¡¯s home planet. It was looking as hilly, orange-moss-covered, purple-cliffs-in-the-distance, purple-sky-with-three-moons-ish as ever. ¡°I wonder what happened to those fish we brought here, yo,¡± said Bird as everyone stepped off of the ship near the town where Hoofa lived. ¡°Huzzah!¡± said one of the cheese fish as they all sprang out from behind a nearby air molecule. Everyone who was unacquainted with the existence of these fish (Klumpkrump, Qaeron, Mound, and the 3 boars) freaked out and screamed. The fish were holding CROSSBOWS. ¡°Yo, like, don¡¯t kill us,¡± said Hoofa. ¡°Also, like, why are you killing us?¡± asked Bird. ¡°You never told us that this town was abandoned!¡± exclaimed one of the fish. The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°Nobody told us that it was abandoned either!¡± said Bird. ¡°I forgot to mention,¡± said Hoofa, ¡°that the town is abandoned.¡± ¡°We¡¯ve been forced to scavenge in order to survive!¡± explained the fish. ¡°We even lost Jorland!¡± ¡°Who¡¯s Jorland?¡± asked Klumpkrump. ¡°He¡¯s dead now,¡± said the fish. ¡°And it¡¯s all because of you!¡± ¡°Who, me?¡± ¡°No, I have no idea who you are. It¡¯s because of you and you and you and you!¡± said the fish, pointing to Mushpuff and then Bird and then Plagiarize and then Snorter. ¡°Well we didn¡¯t know that the town was abandoned!¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°This has all been a big misunderstanding.¡± ¡°But you knew!¡± said the fish, pointing its crossbow at Hoofa. ¡°Well I was busy forgetting to mention it, yo,¡± replied Hoofa, aiming her gun from Kearth at the fish, the former of which being at least 3 times larger than the latter and blowing its crossbow out of proportion. Not to mention that she was also riding Gumpton the elephant. ¡°Okay, somebody¡¯s gotta tell me, because I¡¯m dying to know,¡± began Plagiarize. ¡°Why is the town abandoned?¡± ¡°Well, you see, it has to do with that large cliff,¡± said Hoofa to Plagiarize and anyone else who wanted to listen, excluding the goblin. She pointed to the very large, obvious cliff behind the town. The cliff stretched as far as anyone could see in either direction of the town. It was very tall and very foreboding. Chapter 50: The Tale of the Town ¡°It all started a long time ago,¡± began Hoofa, ¡°also known as 3 years ago. This was a prosperous town filled with dogs like me. However, since this planet has such low mass, as the town got larger and larger, the ground started to tilt. The side with the town on it tilted downwards, causing that big cliff to form. Eventually a crack formed in the ground and the everything got so tilted that everyone fell in. I was safe because I was at a dentist appointment. Without people in the town, it now didn¡¯t weigh as much, and the ground untilted a bit and the crack in the ground closed.¡± ¡°Wowzers, that sounds traumatic,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Well you didn¡¯t let me finish, yo,¡± said Hoofa. ¡°Because after everyone fell in, they set up a new town underground. They constantly had parties which I could hear through the ground but I was trapped up here with no way of getting down.¡± ¡°Even more traumatic,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Now I wanna get down there and conquer their town and kill all of them because they abandoned me,¡± explained Hoofa. ¡°Okay that¡¯s a bit too far, yo,¡± said Bird. ¡°No, they¡¯re literally mean and deserve it,¡± said Hoofa. ¡°They all bullied me when we lived in the same town.¡± Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°Okay then let¡¯s just bully them back and then conquer their town,¡± said Bird. Everyone else agreed that it was a marvelous idea to bully the dogs of the underground town and then steal their town and force them back to the other lamer town. Mound decided to stay in the lamer town because he was done adventuring. One of the three cheese fish agreed to come with them. His name was Exquandulous Exquanick Excuanar Ellucifillious Ellenaptor Exasperated Excuor Exquandulous Exhunder XXII IV XIV. ¡°Is there any shorter name we can call you?¡± asked Mushpuff after learning Exquandulous Exquanick Excuanar Ellucifillious Ellenaptor Exasperated Excuor Exquandulous Exhunder XXII IV XIV¡¯s name. ¡°Not exactly,¡± explained Exquandulous Exquanick Excuanar Ellucifillious Ellenaptor Exasperated Excuor Exquandulous Exhunder XXII IV XIV. ¡°It is highly disrespectful in fish culture to not call someone by their full name.¡± ¡°Anyways, how exactly are we supposed to go to the town underground, considering the crack is now closed?¡± Mushpuff asked Hoofa. ¡°Simple!¡± said she, the dog. ¡°Ya do this!¡± Hoofa commanded Gumpton to jump up and down. Upon the Landing of the First Jump, Exquandulous Exquanick Excuanar Ellucifillious Ellenaptor Exasperated Excuor Exquandulous Exhunder XXII IV XIV was immediately violently launched into the sky. He was never heard from again. Gumpton kept jumping and as he did, the ground tilted more and more and the cliff got taller. Eventually the Crack of Old reopened. Everyone said goodbye to Mound and the two other cheese fish and headed off towards the crack. Chapter 51: Dog Town 2 ¡°Now what?¡± asked Snorter once they had arrived at the crack. You see, the crack was, like, 10 meters wide. It went down very far and eventually opened up into a large cave. At the bottom were many stalagmites. ¡°Mmmm, friend chain, yez?¡± suggested Qaeron. And thus it was decided that everyone would hold onto the legs of the person above them, forming a chain of people down the cavern. However, once all was said and done, the chain of friends only made it about 5 meters down the cavern, not even making it close to the bottom. ¡°Now what?¡± asked Plagiarize, who was hanging on to Gumpton¡¯s trunk (Gumpton was at the top of the chain because, well, obvious reasons). Qaeron was hanging on to Plagiarize¡¯s legs, causing Plagiarize to get stretched. In fact, he got stretched so much by this that everyone eventually landed on the bottom of the cavern and Plagiarize let go of Gumpton¡¯s trunk and unstretched himself by having Qaeron do a handstand on his head. ¡°Well that worked out,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Now we just gotta, like, find the town that¡¯s supposed to be down here,¡± said Hoofa, who was very sad to have to leave Gumpton at the top. ¡°Yo Gumpton, get down here!¡± Gumpton jumped down the hole and made a very loud thump that caused the entire cavern to shake. Many stalactites fell off of the roof and luckily didn¡¯t stab anyone. The immense shakingness of Gumpton¡¯s leap opened up a secret entrance to Dog Town 2 in a nearby wall. Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road. ¡°Oh, how convenient!¡± said Mushpuff. Mushpuff, Bird, Plagiarize, Snorter, Hoofa, Gumpton, Klumpkrump, and Qaeron all walked through the secret entrance. After walking through a very long windy tunnel, the gang encountered a marvelous sight. A big dome-shaped room, probably around 200 meters in diameter, lay before them. All over the ground were tons of houses, and dogs walked here and there and everywhere going about their business. This was the legendary Dog Town 2 which was about to get bullied. Hoofa, followed by the gang, stormed her way to the center of town and climbed a statue of Howard, the mayor and founder of Dog Town 2. ¡°Alright, listen up, people!¡± shouted Hoofa. All the dogs nearby stopped and listened. ¡°Oh my god it¡¯s the dog we used to bully!¡± said a poodle. ¡°Hank!!¡± shouted Hoofa, firing at the poodle but purposefully missing by about the length of a hedgehog wearing pants and smoking a pipe. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t have done that,¡± said Hank. ¡°Oh yeah? Why not?¡± asked Hoofa in an angry sort of way. Hank took his clothes off, revealing a police uniform underneath them. Hoofa screamed. Hank blew a whistle, causing the entire police force of Dog Town 2 to run into the town square. ¡°I¡¯m chief of police, bitch!¡± said Hank. Chapter 52: Meanwhile, on Smack-Smork... The army of Kearthian ships zapped into the atmosphere on Smack-Smork. They were visiting every single planet which had an artifact and scouting them thoroughly, hoping to find the gang and take their real maps back and then kill them. Then they would take the artifacts the gang had gathered so far, plus the rest of the artifacts from the rest of the planets. Tons of mouse-mechs walked into the bunker of the lizards (they had to park their spaceship in the hole because the stairs all got wrecked in the gang¡¯s adventure here previously). Upon seeing them, the lizards freaked out because the legends of the Kearthian pirates had been passed down through the generations of lizards. The lizards then got obliterated by a barrage of heat beams from the guns the mechs had. You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story. As it turned out, the gang was not here. Luckily, not one but TWO artifacts were on Smack-Smork. The pirates just needed to know where to look. And that is exactly where they looked!! Chapter 53: Jailbreak ¡°I did not foresee this, yo,¡± Hoofa said to the gang from behind bars in her prison cell. They were visiting her because they didn¡¯t do anything wrong and therefore were not imprisoned. ¡°Well how were you supposed to know that Hank was the chief of police?¡± asked Snorter. ¡°That¡¯s totally unfair of him.¡± ¡°I know, right?¡± said Hoofa. ¡°Last time I saw him, he was a high schooler. He never showed any signs that he would end up in the police force other than telling everyone that he was going to be chief of police when he grew up.¡± ¡°Well, you know what they say,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Yes I do.¡± ¡°Anyways, we should probably break you out of here, yo,¡± said Bird. ¡°But how??¡± asked Hoofa. ¡°We literally have 5 minutes until you run out of time you¡¯re allowed to visit me.¡± ¡°All we need is approximately 12 seconds, yo,¡± said Bird. ¡°Plagiarize!¡± ¡°That¡¯s a bad idea!¡± interrupted Plagiarize. ¡°I would know.¡± A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. ¡°No, I meant your name, not the verb.¡± ¡°Oh. What?¡± ¡°Use that gem you got on Pig Planet to melt the bars.¡± ¡°An excellent idea,¡± said Plagiarize, taking the Fire Gem out of his pocket. He pushed it forwards at the bars, aiming at an angle so that Hoofa would not be consumed in the flames. A wall of fire erupted from the gem, melting the bars within 12 seconds. ¡°I sure am glad this hallway is unsupervised,¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°Freeze!¡± said Hank, sitting up from the chair he had been sitting in this entire time which was about 2 meters down the hall. Qaeron screamed very high-pitchedly and jumped on Hank. Hank was crushed under the immense weight of Qaeron, especially considering that he was a poodle (Hank, not Qaeron. Qaeron had not yet turned into a poodle). ¡°Excellent job!¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Now let¡¯s all run out of here!¡± When Qaeron got up to run with the rest of the gang, Hank was unsquashed and aimed his gun at Qaeron. Qaeron screamed and crushed Hank again. Every time the bear got up, the exact same series of events happened. The rest of the gang did not notice and had already run away. Mushpuff, Bird, Plagiarize, Snorter, Hoofa, Gumpton, and Klumpkrump were all running through the streets of Dog Town 2. Since the dogs hadn¡¯t invented cars, the streets were all very skinny, which made evading police easy. Unfortunately, everyone had a very bad sense of direction and soon they had all lost each other. Hoofa even got separated from Gumpton due to him turning around a corner too fast. She fell off his back and crashed through the wall of a nearby cafe. Chapter 54: The Converging of the Ways Mushpuff had somehow managed to find his way to the rooftop of a building. From this vantage point, he could see a few streets. He decided to sit here and wait until the police gave up. As he was waiting, however, a dog came up behind him and barked. ¡°What are ya doin¡¯ on my roof, yo??¡± asked the dog. This dog was one of those dogs that had very long fur and looked like a mop. ¡°Uh¡­¡± replied Mushpuff. ¡°It¡¯s a long story.¡± ¡°You have 3 seconds to get off my roof or I¡¯m calling the police,¡± said the dog, pulling out a dagger. ¡°How am I supposed to get off the roof in 3 seconds?¡± asked Mushpuff. ¡°Here, I¡¯ll help ya!¡± said the dog, and without warning, it kicked Mushpuff off the roof, hurling him down into the street below. Meanwhile, a few blocks away, Bird was still on the run. He didn¡¯t know if the police were still behind him but he didn¡¯t want to risk slowing down in order to turn around and check. After a minute or two, just as he was almost certain that he had lost the police, he tripped and fell into an open pothole. The six maps of the planets with artifacts on them which he was still holding were scattered across the street. Plagiarize, meanwhile, was hiding in a dumpster in an alley and playing cards with a raccoon that happened to also be in there. It was quite an exciting game. As this was happening, a bulldog walked into the alley. ¡°Oh, I was wondering where my dumpster went,¡± said the dog, looking at the dumpster that Plagiarize, the raccoon, and the cards were all in. ¡°It must¡¯ve fallen off my roof and landed perfectly upright in this alley.¡± The bulldog picked up the dumpster (he was very strong) and started walking out of the alley holding it above his head. The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. ¡°This game of cards is so exciting that even the dumpster can¡¯t contain itself,¡± Plagiarize said to the raccoon. ¡°Raccoon,¡± replied the raccoon. Snorter had wandered into a cafe during the chase and started ordering tons of items from the menu and devouring them. As this was happening, Hoofa crashed in through the wall. ¡°What is going on???¡± asked Snorter between pieces of French Toast Pie (pie made of French toast). ¡°I fell off of Gumpton!¡± exclaimed Hoofa as she lay on the pile of rubble which in turn lay on many dogs. ¡°Yo, can I get some of that?¡± ¡°Sure,¡± said Snorter, passing her a piece of French Toast Pie. Klumpkrump was the only one left who was actually still being chased by the police. Everyone else had gone off in random directions some time ago. As she was running, Mushpuff came out of nowhere and landed on top of her head. The two of them collapsed just in time for Bird to trip over both of them and fall into a pothole, scattering the maps everywhere. ¡°Freeze!¡± said one of the police officers. ¡°We¡¯ve got you surrounded now!¡± Just then, the bulldog carrying the dumpster ran out of strength and dropped it on top of all the police officers, squashing them. ¡°WHAT is going on out here??¡± shouted Plagiarize as he emerged from the dumpster. ¡°Who are you and why are you in my dumpster, yo??¡± asked the bulldog as Gumpton rounded a nearby corner, squashed him, tripped on the dumpster (causing Plagiarize to be pushed back into it), and landed on Mushpuff and Klumpkrump. Snorter and Hoofa ran out of the cafe which was perfectly positioned so that they saw all those events unfold. Gumpton got off of Mushpuff and Klumpkrump, and Plagiarize emerged from his dumpster. ¡°W--¡± began Klumpkrump before getting squashed by Qaeron, who had somehow gotten out of his predicament with Hank. ¡°Aww, my friends made a cushion for me to land on, yez?¡± said Qaeron. ¡°Qaeron loves his friends!¡± ¡°Mmmmphmmph fmmmph,¡± said Klumpkrump. Chapter 55: The Bears Arrive on Scene After all the maps were picked up and Bird was helped out of the sewer, Hoofa asked Qaeron about Hank. ¡°What happened to Hank, yo?¡± asked she, the dog, who was speaking. ¡°As long as he¡¯s dead or injured, I¡¯d say our work here is done.¡± ¡°Mmmm, well¡­¡± began Qaeron before Hank abruptly fell out of nowhere. As it turned out, Qaeron jumped out of the window of the jail to escape Hank. The window was 3 stories high. Hank had just now jumped out of it to pursue Qaeron. ¡°Freeze! Again!¡± shouted Hank. ¡°How about you burn instead?¡± asked Plagiarize, whipping out his trusty Fire Gem and shooting a fireball as warning. Hank barked and ran away in fear. Alas, their mission was complete, and the gang could leave Dog Town 2 now that Hoofa was satisfied. And they would¡¯ve done that if the stone roof of the town didn¡¯t suddenly collapse into tons of massive pieces that fell to the ground and crushed, like, half the town¡¯s buildings. The air was filled with dust and nobody could see anything. Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences. ¡°Attention TROTCCAASF!¡± yelled a booming voice from the sky. ¡°This is the Bearmy and we have come to tell you some things!¡± ¡°OMG I thought you guys were dead since the Cow Galaxy invasion,¡± shouted Klumpkrump. ¡°What?¡± yelled the loud bear voice. ¡°I thought--¡± started Klumpkrump. ¡°Hold on, can you guys, like, bring us up there?¡± ¡°We can¡¯t hear you, we¡¯re going to bring you up here, yes?¡± said the bear. The bears sent down a glass tube to suck the gang up. However, since they couldn¡¯t see through all the dust, it missed and bonked Qaeron on the head, who screamed. Everyone then got under the tube and it sucked them all up with a loud sucking noise. Chapter 56: Bearelations The gang had been successfully sucked and were now in a bear meeting room aboard one of the Bearmy ships. ¡°Welcome back to¡­ us,¡± said the bear they were meeting with. ¡°Who are you?¡± asked Snorter. ¡°And what are you going to tell us??¡± Klumpkrump. ¡°Well, you see, those questions were about to be answered by me,¡± replied the bear. ¡°I am Fish, head of Bear Foreign Relations. Yes, yes, I am one of the Five Powerful Bears of the Bears. Contain yourselves. So anyways, we have come to inform you that the bears live on!! Despite losing our planet, we still have our fleet of Bearmy ships. Also Bear Fortress. It can fly.¡± ¡°Woah, it¡¯s still intact?¡± asked Snorter. ¡°False. The cows destroyed it.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± ¡°But we have its floating rubble. So we can rebuild it. Anyways, the bears have been significantly weakened. We lost a lot of Bearmy ships and many thousands of precious bears. But we have also come to tell you something important.¡± ¡°Well, get on with it!¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Since the Cow Galaxy has attacked us, we¡¯re now at war with them. And since you¡¯re allied with us, you must help us fight them.¡± If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. ¡°Oh, well we were already kinda doing that, yo,¡± said Bird. ¡°Well now you have to do it more,¡± said Fish. ¡°And call me Fish. Yo is the current Bear President.¡± ¡°Oh good, you found a replacement for Chunk,¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°Yes, after you so murderously murdered him,¡± said Fish. ¡°Sorry about that.¡± ¡°No, we were enemies. He kept stealing my pancake mix.¡± ¡°Oh, good,¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°Well, bad. But good that he¡¯s dead now so he can no longer do that.¡± ¡°Quite right,¡± replied Fish, who was not and had never been a fish. ¡°So what¡¯s your plan of action for destroying Cow Galaxy, yo?¡± asked Bird. ¡°If you want to know that, I suggest speaking with our new Bearmy leader.¡± ¡°What happened to DeBear??¡± asked Snorter. ¡°He got killed by the cows,¡± Fish replied. ¡°But don¡¯t worry. A few years ago, he asked the Bearmy to construct an exact robot clone of himself, so in the event of an untimely death, we¡¯d still have DeBear. I quite admired his ways.¡± ¡°Well, I¡¯m glad he lives on as a robot,¡± said Snorter. ¡°The robot was stolen by the cows.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve gotta be kidding me!¡± ¡°But don¡¯t worry. Just go down that hall and through the door marked with the bear and you¡¯ll be face to bear with our new Bearmy leader!¡± ¡°What hallway?¡± asked Hoofa from atop Gumpton. Suddenly, a massive boot attached to a spring slammed down from the ceiling, pushing the gang through the floor and into the hallway below. Chapter 57: Bear Dies ¡°Okay, we just gotta find the door marked with the bear,¡± said Hoofa, looking around. It soon became apparent that every door was marked with a bear. Since Hoofa was on top of Gumpton, she was able to easily peek through the hole they left in the meeting room where they talked to Fish. ¡°Yo, like, every door is marked with a bear in this hallway,¡± Hoofa said to Fish. ¡°Find the bear with the gun,¡± said Fish, reading a book of poetry. After a bit of searching, the gang found the door marked with the bear holding a gun and knocked on it. ¡°Hold on, let me open the door,¡± said the bear from behind the door. The door opened outward and a massive flood of water immediately entered the hallway, washing everyone but Plagiarize, Qaeron, and Gumpton (and Hoofa) away. The bear behind the door was actually a fish. This was Bear, the new leader of the Bearmy. All the water quickly went through grates in the hallway made for moments like this, causing Bear to be stranded without water. Bear then died. A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. Mushpuff, Bird, Snorter, and Klumpkrump walked back to Plagiarize, Qaeron, Hoofa, and Gumpton because of the fact that they had been washed away by Bear¡¯s tidal wave. Hoofa then had another conversation with Fish. ¡°Bear just died,¡± said Hoofa. ¡°Sigh,¡± said Fish. He didn¡¯t actually sigh, he just said the word ¡°sigh¡±. ¡°We all knew it was a bad idea to hire a fish. Let me ask Yo, Bear President, what to do about this.¡± Fish picked up a Bear Phone from atop the table in the meeting room and dialed Yo¡¯s number. ¡°This is Yearyo, Bear President, speaking,¡± said Yo. ¡°It¡¯s me, Fish. Bear just died.¡± ¡°Sigh. Well, I prepared a backup plan in case this happened. Start writing.¡± The gang watched as Fish listened to Yearyo and stared writing down some instructions. After he was done, he held up the paper to everyone. Upon it was written the words: ¡°We have to steal the robot clone of DeBear back from the Cow Galaxy!¡± Chapter 58: Return to Cheese Fish Planet The plan was simple. Until they got DeBear¡¯s robot clone back from the Cow Galaxy, they could not pull off an effective attack because DeBear was the most genius and amazing Bearmy leader the bears had ever seen. The gang would continue on their quest to gain artifacts, the Bearmy would help steal the last remaining map from the Kearthian pirates, and then they would pull off a stealth mission to steal DeBear from the Cow Galaxy. Then, with DeBear and his intellect, they could successfully defeat the Cow Galaxy and become victorious. It was a simple two-step plan and it began now. ¡°What¡¯s next on the list of planets to visit to find artifacts?¡± Mushpuff asked Bird. ¡°Okay, there are 2 more planets here that I recognize,¡± said Bird. ¡°One of them is that one planet where we found the cheese fish. The one with the dragon in the underground facility. The other is Smack-Smork, which had those lizards. We just gotta vote, yo.¡± Since everyone was there when they went to Smack-Smork but only Mushpuff, Bird, Plagiarize, and Snorter were there when they went to untitled cheese fish planet, they decided to go there first so Hoofa, Gumpton, Klumpkrump, and Qaeron could experience it. The gang boarded the Bearmy ship they originally arrived at this planet on. They were provided with the phone number of Fish and Yearyo for use on their ship¡¯s Bear Phone. Then they blasted up and away towards cheese fish planet. I should really give that place a name. Nothing really notable happened along the days they spent journeying towards that planet. Mushpuff and Bird took turns piloting the ship since they were the only ones who knew how to do that. The rest of the gang hung out in the living room during the days, playing board games and stuff like that. There was a great supply of pancakes and popcorn and Bear Shampoo for them to eat and/or shower with. Except the only one among them who actually ever showered was Plagiarize. Mushpuff and Klumpkrump licked themselves. Because they¡¯re cats. Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. Anyways, a few days after they departed, the gang arrived at the cheese fish planet. Since I totally forgot to describe it when they were there before, I shall do so now. The ground was entirely covered with rocks and lava and the sky was dark red. Ash and stuff floated around in the air. Rocky terrain sometimes caused lava waterfalls. ¡°So where would an artifact be on this planet?¡± asked Plagiarize to nobody in particular. ¡°We really should¡¯ve brought one of those cheese fish,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°They would probably know.¡± ¡°If I had to guess, it would be in that big underground facility, yo,¡± said Bird. ¡°The one with the dragon.¡± ¡°I wonder how he¡¯s doing,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Let¡¯s take a peek,¡± said Bird, walking towards a massive tower in the distance with lava pouring down its sides. And not just any massive tower in the distance with lava pouring down its sides, but the massive tower in the distance with lava pouring down its sides. The same massive tower in the distance with lava pouring down its sides that they had gone into in chapter 12 and were now going into in chapter 58 as well. Chapter 59: The Abandoned Cheese Factory Inside the tower was the pedestal they had taken the Energy Cube from. Above and all around them was a large machine with tons of cogs and wires and moving parts with the label ¡°POWER EXTRACTION MACHINE - DO NOT TURN OFF¡±. The moving parts, however, were currently not moving because of the fact that there was no Energy Cube to extract power from. Next to the pedestal was a trapdoor. ¡°I remember this trapdoor!¡± said Mushpuff, opening the door and jumping down. ¡°Uhh¡­¡± uhh¡¯d Klumpkrump. ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± said Plagiarize, preparing to jump. ¡°There¡¯s a giant slice of cheese at the bottom which cushioned our fall.¡± Plagiarize then jumped down, followed by Bird. Snorter was next. Then Gumpton (it was a big trapdoor) with Hoofa on top, then Klumpkrump, and finally Qaeron because he didn¡¯t want to be left behind. Unfortunately, there was no slice of cheese to cushion their fall anymore. But there was a Mushpuff to cushion them, and that¡¯s all you need when jumping from any height. After getting unpiled, the gang took a look around the place. All the lights were off, meaning they pretty much couldn¡¯t see anything. There were a few conveyor belts suspended above them which were not moving. That¡¯s about all they could see. Everything was super silent. ¡°This place is creepy, yo,¡± said Hoofa. ¡°There were lights on and conveyor belts moving last time we were here,¡± explained Bird. ¡°And there was also a dragon. The conveyor belts fed him cheese and when they stopped he got really angry.¡± This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version. ¡°So where¡¯s he now?¡± asked Hoofa. ¡°No clue.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s find him, then!¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°Why would we want to do that?¡± asked Bird. ¡°Because if we know where the dragon is, we¡¯ll also know where it isn¡¯t,¡± she said. ¡°The places where it isn¡¯t is anywhere that is not where it is.¡± ¡°Genius!¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°And if it attacks us, I can burn it with fire!¡± ¡°I¡¯m not so sure that will work,¡± said Snorter. ¡°Well I guess we¡¯ll just have to wait and see,¡± said he, the human. ¡°Onwards!¡± Plagiarize lit the way with fire and everyone else followed him. After a whole lot of walking in a straight line, they came across a great big wall with a metal door on it. ¡°Yes, yes, I remember this door,¡± said Plagiarize, stroking his chin and/or beard maniacally. ¡°So do I!¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Let¡¯s go inside! It was a smaller enclosed area, so wherever the dragon is, it won¡¯t be behind this door. Not at all.¡± Plagiarize opened the door and right behind it, breathing directly into his face, was an empty hallway. It was quite a large hallway, the size of one you might find in a school or a hallway factory. There was no dragon in sight. ¡°You¡¯re a gosh darn smart one, boy,¡± said Plagiarize, patting Mushpuff on the back. Just then came a great rumbling. The dragon slammed into the wall as it rounded a corner in the hallway on its way to the gang. It was running on all four of its legs and just barely fit in the hallway. And it was running fast. Chapter 60: So Youre Allied with the Bears? ¡°Okay, well, now that we¡¯ve found the dragon, we know where it isn¡¯t,¡± said Plagiarize, slamming the door. ¡°As long as it¡¯s in there, it can¡¯t get out.¡± ¡°But if it¡¯s in there, then there must be some way it got in, yo,¡± said Bird, backing away from the door with the rest of everyone minus Plagiarize. ¡°Well how do you suspect it got in there?¡± asked Plagiarize, leaning his arm against the wall and crossing his legs like the cool guy he was. Suddenly, the wall burst open and the dragon emerged in a very loud explosion. Plagiarize screamed and was sent flying across the room. Hoofa screamed and started firing her mouse-mech gun at the dragon. It wasn¡¯t very effective. Everyone ran as fast as they could away from the dragon, and Gumpton¡¯s back caught Plagiarize as he fell. ¡°Why hello there!¡± Plagiarize said to Hoofa. ¡°Everyone listen up!!¡± shouted the dragon, who wasn¡¯t chasing Them (Gang). ¡°IT TALKS!!!!¡± yelled Klumpkrump. ¡°Halt at once or you will all die!!¡± yelled the dragon, causing everyone to halt at once. ¡°My brother has told me that he saw all of you on the sand planet he lives on.¡± ¡°OMG I remember him,¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°Yes, he forced everyone there to scrape the walls with spoons,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°How could we forget?¡± ¡°Well you don¡¯t know what happened after you ran away, do you?¡± asked the dragon. ¡°Nah,¡± said Hoofa. ¡°Well I¡¯m not gonna tell you!¡± ¡°Oh.¡±Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°My brother will instead!¡± After the dragon said this, another dragon burst out of another nearby section of wall. ¡°After you left,¡± began dragon number 2, the same dragon they encountered on that one sand planet who played Pickle Smack against the Flamingo Kingo, ¡°the bears tied me down. They agreed they would let me go if I tracked you down and brought you to them. They gave me a Bear Phone and a few days later they told me to go to Smack-Smork. I flew up up into space to find it, but since I hadn¡¯t gone anywhere in 150 years, I got lost. I went to the only other planet I knew of, which was this one. With my brother. And now you¡¯re here and the bears want you. So ya know what that means, right?¡± ¡°Well hold on a second there, dragon!¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Because we are now allied with the bears.¡± ¡°Well I don¡¯t believe you!¡± said the dragon. ¡°Hold on just one second,¡± said Plagiarize. He walked past the dragon, into the hallway area, through a door, up the extremely tall ladder he had already climbed like 4 times, and into their spaceship. Then he grabbed the Bear Phone. He very sadly saw that it was attached to a cord. Luckily, the cord was extremely long. He climbed all the way back down the ladder, past the dragon again, who was explaining his life story, and back to the gang. ¡°Okay!¡± said Plagiarize, dialing a number. ¡°Get ready¡­ for¡­ this!¡± The phone rang once. Then twice. Then thrice. Then someone picked up. ¡°This is Fish,¡± said Fish. ¡°Is my order of packing peanuts ready?¡± ¡°It¡¯s us,¡± replied Plagiarize. ¡°The Revenge of The Cool Cats Army And So Forth.¡± ¡°Ahhh, I see,¡± said Fish. ¡°Well, what¡¯s up? Do you need a bear or two?¡± ¡°I¡¯m just calling you to prove to a dragon that we¡¯re allied with you.¡± ¡°Well, dragon, they are allied with us.¡± Fish then hung up. ¡°I see,¡± said the dragon. ¡°So you are allied with the bears then!¡± ¡°Quite right, yo,¡± said Bird. ¡°Well I hate the bears! They tied me up and forced me to work with them! Why would I spare you for being friends with the bears?! I¡¯m going to kill you anyway!¡± ¡°And I¡¯m gonna kill you, too!¡± said the first dragon. ¡°Because you escaped last time!¡± Chapter 61: The Curse of Bear Roll Everyone once again decided that now was a good time to run away from the dragons. Plagiarize thought about shooting fire at the dragons using his gem but came to the conclusion that it probably wasn¡¯t the smartest idea he¡¯d ever had. Luckily, he was still on the back of Gumpton along with Hoofa so he didn¡¯t need to run. Except he didn¡¯t need to run regardless due to his immunity to fire. But the dragons could resort to using claws or teeth if they realized fire didn¡¯t work. Since this place was really dark, the dragons soon lost sight of everyone. Except for Plagiarize, Hoofa, and Gumpton, because Plagiarize¡¯s Fire Gem was glowing. Hoofa started shooting her mouse-mech gun at the dragons, but it shot hot lasers and dragons are immune to heat damage. As a response, one of the dragons ate her gun. NOOOOOOOOOO!!! This was a very sad happenstance that would dramatically affect Hoofa¡¯s character within the upcoming 2 words. ¡°Aw man!¡± said Hoofa. ¡°That was my gun!¡± ¡°Well you¡¯re a stupid idiot who shouldn¡¯t have used it,¡± said the dragon. ¡°And I¡¯m going to eat you now. But first I am going to cook you.¡± The dragon attempted to unleash a wave of fire upon Hoofa and her elephant and Plagiarize. However, all that came out was a barrel. Hoofa gasped. ¡°It¡¯s that one barrel from your Life Story!¡± declared she, the dog. ¡°What?¡± asked Plagiarize, who was not there when the life story of the dragon was being told. ¡°Curses!¡± said the dragon. ¡°I suppose you were not here for the life story and therefore do not know what we are talking about.¡± ¡°Yeah, I really don¡¯t,¡± said Plagiarize.If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. ¡°Well it has to do with why my brother and I were kicked out of our dimension. All due to this one place called Bear Roll. The gist is that we were told to not go there. We went there. The ruins of Bear Roll then fell apart because the reason nobody was supposed to go there was because they were such ancient ruins that if anyone went there, they would instantly fall apart. We were exiled for our crimes and I was cursed with an ancient curse placed upon Bear Roll. You see, the ancient curse states as follows: ¡®He who destroys the sacred and not-currently-ruined Bear Roll will be cursed with the Curse of Bear Roll.¡¯¡± ¡°And what did that curse do?¡± asked Plagiarize the inquisitive. ¡°Among other things, every time I try to shoot fire, a harmless barrel comes out instead, but every time I try to shoot fire, I am cursed to always think it will work.¡± ¡°And why did one of you come out of a portal with 3 giant spikes?¡± asked Klumpkrump. Everyone was now gathered together in the same spot and the other dragon was here as well. ¡°And why didn¡¯t you guys come through the same portal?¡± ¡°As a matter of fact, we originally did,¡± said dragon 1. ¡°There¡¯s a whole different part of our story involving us going back into the dimension.¡± ¡°May we hear it?¡± asked Klumpkrump. ¡°No, because we still have to kill you.¡± ¡°I have an offer!¡± offered Plagiarize. ¡°Oy?¡± ¡°If we go back in that dimension and convince them to let you back, you should consider not killing us.¡± ¡°That is an excellent idea.¡± And thus it was decided that the gang would be completely sidetracked from their current quest in order to do an entirely different quest so that they would not be killed by 2 big and dangerous dragons. Don¡¯t worry, though; this quest will probably not last very long at all. Chapter 62: Grinkle and Ron Of course, if one was to complete this quest for these two dragons, one must know the other half of their story. So it was henceforth decided that the dragons¡­ would tell the other half of their story. ¡°Well, you see, we then vowed to get revenge upon those who had wronged us for kicking us out of our dimension.¡± ¡°But weren¡¯t they in the right to kick you out if you literally destroyed the entirety of an ancient ruin?¡± asked Snorter. ¡°But who were they to kick us out if we didn¡¯t know the ruins would be destroyed because nobody freaking told us that would happen?¡± argued the dragon. ¡°And then they didn¡¯t even give us any sort of trial. So anyways, we wanted to get back in there, but the problem was that the portal was closed because obviously they didn¡¯t want us getting in. So we needed to open the portal back up. But how would we go about doing that? Well, of course, we needed to learn how to open portals to other dimensions.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t forget the part about this planet,¡± said the other dragon. ¡°Oh, yes. This planet we are on right now is where we happened to first arrive in this dimension. It had a lot of grass and stuff. But it also had these fish who were made of cheese--¡± ¡°We know this part!¡± said Snorter. ¡°You loved cheese and killed and ate all but four of them and then made them make this factory of infinite cheese for you. But I thought there was only one of you.¡±This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there. ¡°Yes, that was me,¡± said the dragon who was red and whose name was Grinkle. ¡°And my name is Grinkle. The reason my brother Ron wasn¡¯t there is because he found out how to open portals to alternate dimensions but I wasn¡¯t there. He opened a portal and it sucked him through and then closed. Luckily he left me a note so I knew where he went. I was all consumed in my cheese love, though, so I didn¡¯t care.¡± ¡°So anyways,¡± said Ron. ¡°I had returned to our dimension. But I had no plan for what to do. As soon as my people saw me, they chased me down across the world and then kicked me out again. Our weapons consist of giant spikes thrown using spike-throwing machines. Three spikes went through the portal with me because they were also trying to kill me.¡± ¡°The people in your dimension sound really demented,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Yeah, they¡¯re really mean. Anyways, that¡¯s our whole story and now you¡¯re all caught up.¡± ¡°So what do ya want us to do?¡± asked Klumpkrump. ¡°Go through the portal and demand that we have a fair trial and people stop being so mean to us. And if they don¡¯t agree to do that, kill them.¡± ¡°How are we supposed to kill them if they¡¯re all dragons and there¡¯s a bunch of them?¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll figure something out. Have fun!¡± A portal abruptly opened out of nowhere and everyone in the gang was instantaneously sucked into it. It closed itself directly afterwards. Chapter 63: The Barrel Gun When everyone had a chance to stand up and collect themselves, they took a look around. The place they were in was a large grassy field. All around them in the air were tons of particles of dust blowing gently in the breeze. This was the former site of the ruins of Bear Roll and the dust particles were all that remained of the structures that used to stand here. Suddenly, a bunch of dragons appeared from out of the sky, similar in appearance to Grinkle and Ron. They surrounded everyone entirelyily. ¡°Who are you and why are you here??¡± asked one of the dragons. ¡°We oughta cook you and eat you,¡± said another. ¡°Woah, calm down, dudes,¡± said Bird. ¡°We come with a message from Grinkle and Ron.¡± A shocked gasp erupted from the mouths of every one of the dragons both inside and outside of the immediate vicinity. ¡°We banned them from this dimension!¡± said a dragon. ¡°Well, yo,¡± said Bird, ¡°they demand that they have a fair trial and that people stop being mean to them. And if you don¡¯t agree to that, we have to kill you, yo.¡± ¡°I suppose that they did not tell you the true story,¡± said a dragon very important looking dragon who was wearing a suit. ¡°Because they are very much the ones in the wrong. For, you see, an ancient myth states that the ruins of Bear Roll held a great treasure. But it is a LAW in this land that anyone who goes to Bear Roll shall be immediately expelled from this dimension. They knowingly knew this law and still went there looking for treasure. And now there is no Bear Roll. Tell them that if they continue trying to get back here, we will come through the portal and kill them.¡±This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it. The dragon then opened a portal and the gang got sucked back through to the other side, where Grinkle and Ron were sitting expectantly. ¡°They told us the true story,¡± Mushpuff said to the two dragons. ¡°Well then I suppose we should tell you the part of the story that they do not know,¡± said Ron. ¡°Because we found the mythical treasure of Bear Roll!¡± ¡°You see,¡± said Grinkle, ¡°I didn¡¯t tell you everything about the curse of Bear Roll. Because there was actually a legendary artifact in Bear Roll known as the Barrel Gun. It shoots barrels at high velocity and never runs out. The reason I shoot barrels from my mouth is because of that gun. Because it was cursed into my mouth.¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t you spit it out?¡± asked Snorter. ¡°That idea never occurred to me,¡± said Grinkle, effortlessly spitting out the legendary Barrel Gun. It was a small gun and the barrel was designed to look like a barrel. Amazing, I know. Hoofa caught it out of midair. ¡°This is, like, so cool and fancy,¡± said Hoofa. She then fired the gun and a full-sized barrel came out of the small barrel of the Barrel Gun at super high velocity and smacked Ron in the face, knocking him unconscious. ¡°Oh no!¡± yelled Grinkle before he, too, was knocked out with another shot from Hoofa¡¯s Barrel Gun. ¡°Yo, Bird!¡± shouted Hoofa. ¡°Ay?¡± ¡°Could it be that this gun is the artifact we came to find??¡± Bird produced the map showing this planet and looked at it a bit. ¡°It says nothing about the artifact, yo. We¡¯ll have to assume.¡± ¡°And what shall we assume??¡± asked Klumpkrump. ¡°That it is indeed the artifact we came to find.¡± ¡°Great, now we can leave!¡± said Mushpuff. Chapter 64: Siege of Smack-Smork Now that the artifact from this planet had been obtained, the gang could leave. Luckily, the very long ladder was still intact. There was just one problem. How could Gumpton possibly get to the top? Well, it was as easy as having Hoofa shoot a ton of barrels down into the hole from above. As barrels rained down on Gumpton, he was able to easily climb them to the top of the pit. The whole process only took, like, five hours. Everyone else had gone back into the ship to plan which planet they were to go to next. Of the three planets they had already been to, Smack-Smork was the only one remaining. It was also the planet which they had duplicate maps of. Meanwhile, on Smack-Smork, the Kearthian pirates were keeping watch. Their forces were spread out over the entire planet to be prepared for when the gang showed up. They had found both artifacts that were on this planet, and since this was the map they had 2 copies of, the were certain that the gang would not show up here because it was almost certain that they didn¡¯t also have 2 copies of this map. If they did, it would imply that 2 of the maps were identical on purpose from the very beginning and Bird didn¡¯t even make a mistake after all. Alas, when the gang showed up in Mound¡¯s ship 2 days later, the Kearth pirates were completely unprepared for them. The Kearthians, however, had two Energy Cubes, and they had brought one of them to Smack-Smork. As soon as the gang showed up, an energy beam was fired at them from the surface of the planet. Luckily, Mound¡¯s ship had a gricklite shield (because it was the personal ship of one of the Five Powerful Bears of the Bears), and beams from Energy Cubes could not pierce gricklite shields. Well, they technically could, but in order for that to happen, the beam needed to be focused on the shield for multiple minutes, and even then it only made a small hole in the shield which regenerated very fast. ¡°Someone on the surface is attacking us, yo!¡± yelled Bird from the control room.This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. ¡°Hmm, thiz ship has a Bizzile, yez?¡± asked Qaeron. And indeed, since it was just a modified Bearmy ship, it came stocked with a single Bear Missile. But, in case you forgot, they had already used it to escape Bear Stone Planet. Bearmy ships are only stocked with one Bissile because they (the Bissiles) are made of gricklite and are super expensive and also very dense. ¡°We already used it, yo,¡± said Bird. ¡°But we do have Bear Bullets.¡± ¡°Use them, yez!¡± encouraged Qaeron. Bird pressed the Bear Bullet Rapid-Fire button and Bear Bullets were rapidly fired from the ship. On the surface of Smack-Smork, the Kearthian pirates were firing the Energy Cube¡¯s beam at the gang¡¯s ship. Since they had no hands to stick into it, they used an Energy Beam Auto-Firing Machine (EBAFM?). This amazing device automatically aimed and fired at any ships it scanned. The pirates did not suspect that the gang¡¯s ship would have a gricklite shield and were surprised when they didn¡¯t explode. And then, all of a sudden, hundreds of bullets rained down upon them, unleashing an army of tiny bears. The EBAFM? was ripped to shreds by the tiny bears, along with every mouse-mech nearby. James McMouse was among the mouse-mechs, and he was also destroyed. As soon as the mechs got destroyed, the mice inside were also attacked by bears and killed. Bird continued to fire Bear Bullets all over this side of Smack-Smork. Explosions erupted on the surface, showing that they were successful. He then flew the ship to the other side of the planet and fired more bears. That is how it came to be that about 90% of all Kearthian pirates met their end on Smack-Smork. The remaining ones guarding Kearth soon met their demise due to how few of them there were. Chapter 65: Devising Plans Now all that was left was for the gang to find the one map they still didn¡¯t have and also to get the 2 artifacts from Smack-Smork. Bird quickly landed the ship at the place where the pirates fired the Energy Cube¡¯s beam from. There was a lot of wreckage and robot parts. As soon as they landed, the tiny bears left behind from the Bear Bullets started ripping up their ship and within seconds it was no more. ¡°Well that most certainly isn¡¯t good,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Good thing we still have this!¡± said Hoofa, holding their Bear Phone. ¡°If this bad boy gets lost, we¡¯re screwed.¡± ¡°May I have that, yo?¡± asked Bird. ¡°We oughta tell the Bearmy of our predicament.¡± ¡°Why do you always have to be the one to call them?¡± asked Hoofa, pressing the Bear Dialing Button. ¡°I shall do it this time!¡± ¡°Well, you have a tendency to¡­ uh¡­ mess things up?¡± Just then, the Bear Phone slipped from Hoofa¡¯s paws and landed on the ground. On the way down, it hit Gumpton¡¯s back. This startled the elephant, causing him to jump. His foot landed on the Bear Phone and crushed it. ¡°Okay, before you say anything, that was literally Gumpton¡¯s fault, bro,¡± said Hoofa. ¡°Well there goes our chances of being rescued by the Bearmy,¡± said Bird. ¡°I suppose we¡¯ll just have to look around and see what we can find.¡± The gang once again found themselves on Smack-Smork. They were in a big field of snow with robotic ruins all around them. All around them in the distance were very large mountains. Upon this ring of mountains stood a wall. At many different points along this wall, towers poked up higher than the surrounding mountains. These towers had many spiky points. Before them, in the middle of the valley, stood a fortress of tall points and thick walls. All around them in the field of snow that they were in were wrecked mouse-mechs. On top of the wreckage of the EBAFM? stood the Energy Cube. Klumpkrump picked it up.Stolen novel; please report. ¡°Well, we¡¯re most certainly unstoppable now,¡± she said. ¡°We should totally not tell anyone about this,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Like, not even the bears.¡± ¡°But why not??¡± asked Klumpkrump, who was a cat. ¡°Because if they learn about it then they¡¯ll want to use it for themselves because it¡¯s super powerful.¡± ¡°Maybe we should let ¡®em,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°We have the artifacts and they have the cube. An unstoppable force!¡± ¡°NOOOO!¡± shouted Klumpkrump. ¡°I don¡¯t wanna give it up!!¡± ¡°Let¡¯s tell them after we rescue DeBear¡¯s clone, yo,¡± suggested Bird. ¡°It leaves time for you to have it and then we can give it to the bears. Besides, you¡¯ll have an artifact of your own.¡± ¡°Alright then,¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°Genius plan.¡± ¡°So how are we gonna find the artifacts?¡± asked Snorter. ¡°Mmmm, well, a bear finds it likely that artifactz would be ztored in the lizard fortrezz, yez?¡± said Qaeron. ¡°Is that what that is?¡± asked Snorter, pointing to the fortress that stood before them. ¡°Mmmm¡­¡± said Qaeron, tilting his head at various angles as he looked at the fortress. He held out his paws and did some complex bear stuff. ¡°Yez, yez, thiz is it,¡± said the bear. ¡°Well let¡¯s go in before I freeze into a solid block of ice!¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Blocks of ice can only ever be solid,¡± said Snorter. Chapter 66: Barrel Stairs The gang began walking towards the large fortress before them before Plagiarize could freeze into a solid block of ice. It was really quite an uneventful journey. There was nothing between them and the fortress except for snow and dead mouse-mechs. As they got closer, they noticed that the fortress, despite being in the middle of this big ring of mountains with great walls, had yet more walls around it. The gang arrived upon this wall and were stumped at how they could possibly get beyond it. It was around 10 meters tall and its surface was very smooth, so there would be no climbing. Hoofa, however, had a barrel gun. She tried to fire barrels at the wall to break it, but the barrels themselves shattered upon hitting the wall. ¡°What if we stack the barrels in a staircase?¡± suggested Mushpuff. ¡°They probably won¡¯t break if you shoot them at the ground because it¡¯s, like, snowy.¡± Hoofa shot a barrel at the ground and the barrel did not break because it was, like, snowy. Hoofa continued to shoot barrels as Qaeron and Gumpton took them and stacked them with their strong arms and trunk. Soon a large barrelcase was constructed and it was quite the marvel to behold. Mushpuff, Bird, Plagiarize, Snorter, Hoofa, and Klumpkrump were all able to climb it with relative ease. Then it was Qaeron¡¯s turn to climb. Everyone clenched their faces with great suspense as he stepped onto the first barrel. Surprisingly, it did not break. Qaeron took another step. A creaking barrel noise could be heard. He continued to climb the barrels and the creaking got louder and louder. Alas, upon the 13th stair of barrels, the bottom barrel broke and the whole stack began to fall. Qaeron screamed and ran up the few remaining stairs. The bear did not fall but the top few steps were no more. There was definitely no way Gumpton would be able to climb now, and even if the steps were repaired, an elephant is far heavier and voluminousier than a bear, which also means they¡¯re less agile according to the Law of Voluminousness (the heavier and voluminousier a thing is, the less agile it is).The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. ¡°Well now what are we to do?¡± asked Hoofa. ¡°We cannot simply leave Gumpton behind!¡± ¡°Hmmmm¡­¡± said Klumpkrump, caressing the Energy Cube in her paws. ¡°Whatever could we do?¡± ¡°Yo, you should use that,¡± said Bird, gesturing to Klumpkrump¡¯s cube. ¡°Oh, I forgot about this!¡± she said. She then pushed her paws into the cube, sucking up the energy from it. She then aimed her paws down at the wall near the ground and pushed them forward to expel the energy in a beam of destruction. It hit the wall and melted right through it. She went in circles, making the hole larger and larger. Klumpkrump had to reload her paws with fresh energy from the cube after every 10-15 seconds of firing. Eventually she had carved such a large hole in the wall that her, Mushpuff, Bird, Plagiarize, Snorter, and Hoofa were no longer standing on anything and fell 15 meters into the snow. It turns out the whole barrel idea was a large waste of time but I am not cutting it out because I like to waste your time. And also because I spent a large portion of my study hall writing it. The rest of the time was spent staring off into space while listening to music and longing to be at home instead of this god forsaken place. Chapter 67: A Skirmish at Lizard Fortress Now that everyone was within the inner wall, the rest of the walk to the front gates of the lizard fortress was quite short and uneventful. Within the inner wall was yet another field of snow, and it was about a kilometer from the wall to the fortress on all sides. Because it was a circle. And that was its radius. Boy oh boy I love geometry. Eventually, the gang arrived at the front gate of the fortress and immediately noticed how closed it was. Luckily, a puny wooden door was no match for an Energy Cube¡¯s beam. It sliced right through like butter and revealed the interior of the fortress. It turns out that there were mouse-mechs waiting and guarding the 2 artifacts that the Kearthian pirates put there, but they got destroyed by the energy beam. However, not all the mouse-mechs guarding this fortress were positioned directly in front of the door because that would be extremely stupid. They were all over the place and only about 10 were killed by this initial beam. As soon as the door was opened, the mouse-mechs that weren¡¯t instantly obliterated by the beam started zapping madly at the invaders. Many of these bullets hit Plagiarize, but luckily, since they were heat-based, Plagiarize was fine due to his fire and heat immunity. This happened in about half a second before Gumpton shoved Hoofa off his back and jumped forwards, shielding everyone from the blasts and taking all the hits. Mushpuff, Bird, Plagiarize, Snorter, and Qaeron ran away as soon as this all happened. Hoofa fell off of Gumpton and landed in the snow. Klumpkrump, however, kept firing the energy beam and killed the remaining mouse-mechs in the main room. Gumpton made a mistake with his heroic effort to save everyone, as he had jump directly into the beam from the Energy Cube. He instantly vaporized and Klumpkrump dropped the cube in horror.Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon. ¡°GUMPTON NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!¡± yelled Hoofa as Gumpton was killed. She pointed her barrel gun at Klumpkrump. ¡°You did this!¡± ¡°Hey, it was an accident!!¡± said Klumpkrump. Hoofa fired the barrel gun at Klumpkrump. A barrel hit the cat at a high velocity and sent her flying backwards. Hoofa walked up to the Energy Cube and started slamming it against the ground in anger. She then threw it into the distance. ¡°Careful with that!!¡± said Bird. Everyone else had run over to Klumpkrump to see if she was good after the Barreling. She had some scratches on her back from landing and was bleeding from where she was hit with the barrel but could still walk and stuff. As Klumpkrump was getting back up, Hoofa was sitting by the body of Gumpton. Some mouse-mechs then appeared from out of the front gate of the fortress after hearing all the commotion. They saw the Energy Cube on the ground in the distance and made a run for it. Plagiarize blasted them with fire from his Fire Gem. As it turned out, the mouse-mechs were immune to fire, but at least the great blast of it reduced their visibility. Mushpuff then got up and ran to get the Energy Cube before the pirates could. As he was on his way, more pirates walked out of the gate of the lizard fortress. They started firing at him but Hoofa was able to shoot them with her Barrel Gun, knocking them against the walls and smushing them. Mushpuff grabbed the Energy Cube and beamed the remaining mouse-mechs. Chapter 68: The Awakening of DeBear II Meanwhile, in the deep depths of the Cow Galaxy Mothership, DeBear¡¯s identical robot clone was chained to a table. A bunch of cows were around him in doctor clothing. They were performing surgery on him, except since he was a robot, it was less ¡°surgery¡± and more ¡°reprogramming¡±. You see, these specific cows were hired to do this because of their genius skills with Bear Tech. They had studied it after their invasion of Bear Stone Planet. When DeBear II next awoke, the last thing he could remember was being stabbed by a cow and dying during the invasion in chapter 44. You see, this was the first time he was woken up. His electronic brain had been connected to DeBear¡¯s non-electronic brain so that in the event of an untimely death, the clone could be woken up and would remember everything.The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. DeBear II looked around and saw that he was in some sort of very fancy and cozy bedroom. Paintings of cows were hung on the walls. He began to ponder various things, mostly involving corn and politics. But he was thinking about this corn and politics in a much different way than he had ever thought about such things. He did not know why he should think about such things in such a drastically different way, but here he was, doing just that. Corn and politics¡­ corn¡­ politics¡­ Chapter 69: A Fork in the Road Mushpuff, Bird, Plagiarize, Snorter, Klumpkrump, and Qaeron all made their way into the Lizard Fortress. Hoofa needed time to recover from the very tragic death of Gumpton. On the inside, Lizard Fortress was filled with many small tunnels. These tunnels were too small for Qaeron to fit through, and so he had to wait outside with Hoofa. The rest of the gang made their way through the small passageways of Lizard Fortress until they eventually reached a fork in the road. And, of course, since it was a fork, there were four branching paths and not just two. ¡°Hmm¡­¡± pondered Mushpuff. ¡°Now this is a predicament.¡± ¡°No it¡¯s not,¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°We have two ways of going about this, I¡¯d say. We can either all go down each path together, or we can split up. I suppose two of us would have to go in one tunnel together, since there¡¯s five of us and four ways to go.¡± Just then, there was a very loud sound that was not unlike the type of noise one might hear when a stone wall is blasted through with explosives.If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. ¡°Hey, look!¡± said Plagiarize, pointing at a hole in the wall that wasn¡¯t there a few seconds ago. ¡°A fifth path!¡± ¡°You are quite observant today,¡± noted Klumpkrump. ¡°It¡¯s my specialty. I suppose this means we can all split up!¡± And so it was decided that everyone would split up. Plagiarize offered to go down the tunnel that was blasted open and nobody objected because it seemed like it was probably the most dangerous direction of all of the directions to go. Meanwhile, outside Lizard Fortress, Hoofa was being sad and Qaeron was doing cartwheels to try to cheer her up, but to no avail. Hoofa had temporarily taken the Energy Cube for herself because she didn¡¯t want Klumpkrump to have it and nobody was willing to try to take it from her. ¡°Oh, Qaeron¡­¡± said Hoofa. ¡°If only you knew how important Gumpton was to me¡­¡± ¡°Mmmm, Qaeron loves fruit,¡± said Qaeron. ¡°Mmmm, yez, a bear knows how it feels. I onze ate a rotten fruit.¡± ¡°That does not make me feel any better,¡± said Hoofa. Chapter 70: The Eye Stealers Klumpkrump was making her way down the path on the inside left (directly to the right of the leftmost tunnel). It was a very long and winding path and it took her about 4 minutes to reach anything noteworthy. The path opened up into a large, tall, rectangular room. It opened on the long side of the rectangle and it was not on the bottom - instead, it was suspended about 6 meters above the floor on a very weak and crumbly-looking path. Walking on it was probably not the smartest idea. On the ground below was a very long table that stretched from one end of the room to the other. At the table were 22 bear-sized chairs. At that exact moment, a door opened and 22 bears began filing in. Klumpkrump retreated further into the tunnel to avoid being seen. What the heck are a bunch of bears doing in this abandoned Lizard Fortress?? wondered Klumpkrump. Now, before you say anything, I must admit that these bears were not like normal bears. For, you see, each one stood on its hind legs and had one eye. They were cyclops bears! Additionally, they had very fair, nearly square hair. Upon the table, one of the bears began placing many things, including pears, meat cooked rare, flares, and a game of truth or dare. The bears soon began eating the pears and meat cooked rare, and they also began to play truth or dare. A conversation quickly began among them. ¡°Hmm, what fine pears these pears be,¡± said Bear #1. ¡°I would know,¡± said Bear #2, ¡°because I am also eating one of those pears.¡± ¡°Thank me,¡± said Bear #3, ¡°for I am he who made those pears.¡± ¡°How does one make a pear?¡± asked Bear #4. ¡°By growing them, Bear #4,¡± said Bear #3. ¡°Whose turn is it?¡± asked Ber #1. ¡°Yours!¡± said Ber #4. ¡°Truth or dare, Bear #12?¡± asked Ber #1.If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. ¡°Dare,¡± said Bear #12. ¡°Your dare,¡± began Ber #1, ¡°is to go up on that crumbling path, yes, and walk all the way to the end and all the way back.¡± All the bears in the room looked up at the crumbling stone path. ¡°Easy!¡± said Bear #12. ¡°It¡¯s easy, easy! Your dares are too easy, I say!¡± Bear #12 picked up a flare gun from the table and walked out through the door from whence the bears came. Klumpkrump retreated far down into the tunnel as to not be seen. However, what she didn¡¯t expect was that the way up to the tunnel she was in from the room with the bears was through a door in the tunnel. And that door¡­ was directly behind Klumpkrump!! ¡°Ahoy!¡± shouted Bear #12 from behind Klumpkrump, nearly giving her a heart attack. ¡°We have an intruder!¡± Klumpkrump ran from Bear #12 in the only direction she could, which was towards the dining room. Soon enough, all 22 bears were surrounding her at the edge of the crumbling path. ¡°Who be you?¡± asked Ber #4. ¡°Uh, I¡¯m allied with the bears!¡± exclaimed Klumpkrump. ¡°The ones from Bear Stone Planet?¡± ¡°You mean those bears?¡± asked Bear #7. ¡°The bears who banished us from Bear Stone Planet forever?¡± asked Bear #6. ¡°What? Why would they do that?¡± asked Klumpkrump inquisitively. ¡°Well, you see,¡± began Bear #15. ¡°We were members of a secret group known as the Eye Stealers.¡± ¡°We stole eyes,¡± said Bear #12. ¡°Because we thought that if we stole enough eyes, we could see all the evil in the world and banish it,¡± explained Bear #9. ¡°What the heck sort of logic is that??¡± asked Klumpkrump. ¡°So then they stole an eye from each of us,¡± said Bear #4, pointing at his cyclops eye. ¡°Then, the next time the Bearmy went on a mission into space, they took us and abandoned us on a random planet.¡± ¡°Which just so happened to be this one!¡± said Bear #20. ¡°And the lizards saw us and let us live in their fortress.¡± ¡°But then they all died off!¡± said Ber #1. ¡°And now you are here and we¡¯d be fine with that if you weren¡¯t allied with the bears,¡± said Bear #12. ¡°So we shall steal your eyes.¡± Each one of the 22 bears held up a spoon (for eye stealing) and enclosed upon Klumpkrump. She had no choice but to retreat across the crumbling stone bridge of death. Chapter 71: Fish Quest Meanwhile, Mushpuff was walking down the tunnel on the far left and thinking about how boring his life was before this whole escapade and how he would never be able to return to that ever again. After all this was over, he thought he would follow in the footsteps of Klumpkrump and explore the universe in search of nothing in particular. It seemed fun. Perhaps Klumpkrump could even join him. Due to his distracted nature, Mushpuff failed to notice that he had walked face-first into a portcullis. Well, he noticed that he walked into it, but he failed to notice it was there, which is the reason why he walked into it in the first place. I apologize for the confusion. Beyond the portcullis there was a magic glowing bracelet on a pedestal. Mushpuff was almost certain that this was the artifact that they had come to Smack-Smork to find. One problem. The artifact? In there. Mushpuff? Out here! How would he get inside?? Fortunately for him, there was a fish nearby. This fish was standing upright on its back fin, not unlike the fish from the planet of the cheese fish. This fish, however, was not made of cheese, and it was also very large. It had a small shop set up which was selling straws and fish. ¡°Hello,¡± said the fish after Mushpuff smacked into the portcullis. ¡°Oh, hi!¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Are you using those straws?¡±Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. ¡°Well, I¡¯m selling them. As well as these fish. We take turns selling the straws, you see. And the fish.¡± ¡°How much would a straw cost?¡± asked Mushpuff. ¡°All I require in exchange for a straw is 1 Cat Credit.¡± Mushpuff fished out his wallet (no pun intended) and looked around. There was NOTHING. ¡°Dang!¡± said He, the cat. ¡°I¡¯m all out of money.¡± ¡°Well, there is one other thing you could do for me,¡± said the fish. ¡°There¡¯s this group of 22 bears that have been hunting me down for quite a while. They love to eat fish. If you could take them down, I would be forever grateful. Please bring me their eyes as proof.¡± ¡°Do they have any distinguishing features?¡± asked Mushpuff. ¡°Well, they--¡± began the fish. ¡°Wait, what the heck sort of question is that?? Are you afraid you¡¯re going to encounter the wrong group of 22 bears? Go get ¡®em!¡± And with that, Mushpuff set off back down the tunnel to go get Hoofa. She was the only one who had a powerful artifact and who was readily available (because everyone else had gone down their own separate tunnels). Chapter 72: Uneventful Tunnels Snorter, meanwhile, was heading down the tunnel on the inside right. This tunnel took a sharp right and then she was face-to-face with a bipedal lizard pushing a cannon. Behind the lizard (and cannon) was none other than Plagiarize, who was conversing with it. ¡°So let me get this straight,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°You are a harmless lizard who was afraid when you heard us in this fortress, so you used a cannon to blast through a wall to scare us away?¡± ¡°Yup,¡± said the lizard, who was visibly afraid. ¡°Well I think you¡¯re lying!¡± exclaimed Plagiarize as he blasted the lizard with a wall of fire from his Fire Gem.The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°What the heck are you doing??¡± shouted Snorter. ¡°I was killing that lizard before he could kill us!¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°It¡¯s only common sense. He probably had some sort of weapon and was ready to strike at any moment. In fact, I know he had a weapon!¡± ¡°Oh really? How?¡± ¡°The cannon!¡± ¡°Oh.¡± There was a moment of awkward silence. ¡°Does this tunnel go anywhere?¡± asked Snorter. ¡°Nah, it just connects back to mine,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Well that was uneventful.¡± Chapter 73: Malicious Twig Placement Meanwhile, Bird was heading down his own tunnel. This tunnel went down many sets of staircases and it was just getting deeper and deeper. Eventually, he turned a corner and was face-to-face with a group of mouse-mechs guarding the entrance to a room. Luckily, they had been guarding this entrance for so long that they had all fallen asleep. Bird freaked out and zoomed back around the corner, accidentally stepping on a twig that just happened to randomly be there. The twig snapped. The mouse-mechs woke up¡­! Bird RAN!!! Just as Mushpuff got out of his tunnel, Bird sprinted out of his and smacked into him, causing both of them to tumble down. ¡°Ah, Bird!¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Fancy seei--¡± ¡°RUN!!!!!¡± yelled Bird as he got up and ran. Without further questioning, Mushpuff ran with him. They both burst out of the front gates of Lizard Fortress and smacked into Qaeron. ¡°MOUSE ROBOTS!!!¡± yelled Bird, reaching for the Energy Cube. Hoofa, of course, acted reasonable and let him take it. ¡°What? Where??¡± asked Plagiarize, who was also here now. He then got blasted in the face with a heat beam from a mouse-mech gun. Luckily, he was still immune to fire after all this time.Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. Hoofa, Qaeron, Bird, Mushpuff, Plagiarize, and Snorter (who was also here) all ran out of the line of fire of the mouse-mechs who were inside the fortress. ¡°Lemme get some o¡¯ this!¡± said Bird, sticking his flippers into the Energy Cube and absorbing some power. He then aimed them at the wall in the direction of the mouse-mechs and let the energy beam do the rest. It blasted straight through the wall and wrecked all of them. ¡°Yo, this thing is so overpowered,¡± said Bird. ¡°I sure hope nothing happens to it soon.¡± ¡°Well, that would never happen,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°It¡¯s improbable.¡± ¡°Of course.¡± They all sat there for a moment in silence. Then Mushpuff spoke, and his words were oh-so-profound and important. ¡°So anyways, have any of you seen 22 bears?¡± ¡°Nah,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Nope,¡± said Snorter. ¡°Approximately none of them,¡± said Bird. ¡°We haven¡¯t seen any either,¡± said Hoofa. ¡°Well, maybe Klumpkrump has.¡± Chapter 74: Kitchen Escape As it turned out, she had! She was currently running across the extremely unsafe crumbling stone path. This bridge, though, was actually sturdier than it looked - it was strong enough to hold the weight of one cat and 21 and a half bears. Unfortunately, there was half a bear too many, and the bridge began cracking and bits and pieces fell off as all of the bears ran onto it in a single file line behind Klumpkrump. But in a wild turn of events, one of the bears produced a flare gun and shot it at the bridge, causing it to instantly stabilize. As it turned out, the one and ONLY use of those flare guns was that they had the magic ability to repair crumbling stone bridges. As Klumpkrump was running across the path, she came up with the genius idea of jumping down onto the table below. It was a far drop of about 8 meters and the bears would have to go all the way around to get to her. Upon landing on the table, she immediately ran for the door the bears originally came from, as it was the only door other than the one they would be using to get back to her (the one that connected to the tunnel). Through this door was a small kitchen with a bunch of ovens and cupboards and stuff. Pots and pans were hung from the ceiling by Bear Tape and Klumpkrump grabbed a pan for self-defense. Not that it would be of much use against 22 cyclops bears. But it was at least something. She then climbed into a cupboard and closed it, hiding amongst some spices. It was almost 43 seconds later that the bears barged into the room, ready to steal some eyes. The bears thought she had run through the kitchen, further into their living quarters, and so that is where they went. When Klumpkrump was sure they were gone, she tumbled out of the cupboard and onto the floor. She then sprinted towards the dining room but was stopped by a BEAR.If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it. ¡°Stop right bear!¡± said the bear. Klumpkrump did not stop and instead slid between the bear¡¯s legs and out the door. ¡°Hey!¡± yelled the bear, attempting to turn around but getting stuck in the doorway. ¡°Get back here!¡± ¡°Nope!!¡± Klumpkrump yelled back, hurling her pan at the bear¡¯s butt and continuing through the door that led back to the tunnel. Meanwhile, everyone else was sitting in the main area with all the tunnels and pondering where they could find 22 bears so Mushpuff could get to the magic bracelet thing (don¡¯t worry, the reason as to why a straw is imperative to this will be explained shortly). Klumpkrump soon came running out of her tunnel in a panic. ¡°Guys!!¡± she shouted. ¡°There¡¯s 22 cyclops bears coming to attack us!!¡± ¡°OMG, I¡¯ve been looking for 22 bears,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Why?¡± ¡°Long story. I need to bring their bodies as proof, so the Energy Cube won¡¯t work. Hoofa, can you barrel them?¡± ¡°Yup,¡± said the dog, elephantless. When the bears came running down Klumpkrump¡¯s tunnel 12 minutes later, Hoofa was ready. She shot the bear in the front of the line and it fell over unconscious. All the bears behind it then tripped on its body, and they all bonked their heads on the ground and were also knocked out. ¡°Well that worked out,¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°Alright, lemme go get this fish and show him these bodies as proof,¡± said Mushpuff. Chapter 75: Fish Inspection And so Mushpuff began to once again make his way down his tunnel to find the fish at the end. Alas, when he reached the portcullis and the fish, the fish was now a different fish and the prior fish was on the table, being sold with the straws. ¡°Hello,¡± said the new fish. ¡°Would you be interested in buying straws? Or fish? We take turns selling them.¡± ¡°Yes, I¡¯m aware,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°I had a talk with your coworker. He agreed to sell me a straw if I killed 22 bears for him.¡± ¡°Ah, yes,¡± said the fish. ¡°A fair trade, I¡¯d say. Those bears have been tormenting us for far longer than the period of time between 3 and 4 planks of wood.¡± ¡°....what?¡± ¡°Well, have you killed them?¡± ¡°Yes! Come right this way,¡± said Mushpuff, leading the fish out of the tunnel. The fish grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and flopped after Mushpuff on his back fin. It was quite a long walk because the fish was so slow and it kept falling over every few seconds.Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more. Upon exiting the tunnel at the site of the 22 unconscious bears, the fish began taking notes. This process took multiple minutes. At one point, Mushpuff looked at what the fish was writing, but it was either nonsense scribbles or a very dense and scribbly language he couldn¡¯t recognize. ¡°Well then!¡± said the fish after many minutes, which was a long enough time for Snorter to fall asleep. ¡°It appears that these bears are not dead.¡± ¡°But they¡¯re laying down!¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Isn¡¯t that enough to be considered dead?¡± ¡°Well, no. Because they¡¯re breathing.¡± ¡°Well watch this, then!¡± said Klumpkrump, picking up the Energy Cube. ¡°Careful with that!¡± exclaimed Hoofa. Klumpkrump zapped all the bears with the cube, vaporizing them. However, one of the bears was wearing a Magic Energy Cube Reflection Amulet, which reflects Energy Cube lasers. It bounced off the bear and hit the fish, vaporizing him instead. ¡°Why didn¡¯t we just do that from the start?¡± asked Plagiarize. ¡°Because it¡¯s immoral!¡± said Bird. ¡°Immoral or not, that fish was an obstacle. Let¡¯s go get that bracelet.¡± Chapter 76: The Yalmton Bracelet The gang decided that the best possible course of action was to go get the bracelet thingy from Mushpuff¡¯s path and then circle around and go down Bird¡¯s path, seeing what was down there and if there were any more mouse-mechs. Qaeron would have to once again stay behind because he was still too big to fit in the tunnels. Hoofa stayed behind to keep him company. Upon arriving at the portcullis, Klumpkrump stabbed and ate the 2 remaining fish. She then took one of the straws, held it through one of the gaps in the portcullis, and let it suck her through to the other side. Because that is how straws work. Mushpuff, Bird, Plagiarize, and Snorter followed close behind Klumpkrump. Now they had arrived at the magic glowing bracelet on a pedestal. It was made of black plastic beads strung together on stretchy bracelet material. Seven of the beads spelled out ¡°Yalmton¡±, and they were not black but an assortment of purple, blue, red, and yellow beads. Mushpuff picked up the bracelet and put it on. There were no apparent immediate changes. ¡°Huh,¡± said the cat. ¡°I kinda expected it to do something.¡± ¡°Maybe it¡¯s not an artifact after all,¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°Maybe it¡¯s just a cool lookin¡¯ bracelet.¡± Mushpuff then went ¡°huzzah!¡± and thrusted his paw forwards, hoping something would happen. Luckily for him, he was prevented from looking stupid by the fact that the bracelet did in fact do something. As soon as he thrusted his paw forward, seven lasers shot out of the beads that spelled Yalmton, each laser corresponding to the color of the bead that it was coming from. The lasers hit the wall and cracks spread outwards from the point of impact.Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators! ¡°OMG that¡¯s so cool!!¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Zap me!¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°We can test what it does to organic matter.¡± Mushpuff aimed his paw at Plagiarize but luckily he was quickly stopped by Bird, who thought it was not particularly the smartest idea he had ever heard. ¡°Well, let¡¯s go down Bird¡¯s path and see what else we can find,¡± said Mushpuff, rocking his new bracelet. And so the five of them made their way out of Mushpuff¡¯s tunnel, passed past Hoofa and Qaeron, and entered Bird¡¯s tunnel. As before, they had to make their way down numerous sets of stairs. At the bottom was a turn in the path, and on the ground was a broken twig. ¡°That¡¯s the twig I stepped on that caused them to start chasing me, yo,¡± said Bird. ¡°I bet they put it there purposefully!¡± ¡°Where did they even get a stick from?¡± asked Snorter. ¡°I haven¡¯t seen a single tree on this planet yet. Or any proof of the existence of trees, other than that twig.¡± ¡°Perhaps they¡¯re growing trees in this place,¡± suggested Mushpuff. ¡°And as soon as we turn the corner, there¡¯s going to be an entire forest!!¡± As it turned out, as soon as they turned the corner, there was not an entire forest. What was there was far more terrifying. There was a second bracelet¡­ but it was being STOLEN by a SQUIRREL!! Chapter 77: The Squirrels Story ¡°Stop right there, squirrel!¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°NO!¡± screamed the squirrel, whose voice was high-pitched. ¡°Explain yourself or I¡¯ll zap you!!¡± said Mushpuff, showing off his Yalmton bracelet. The squirrel gasped. ¡°YOU HAVE THE YALMTON BRACELET!¡± shouted the squirrel. ¡°Yes, that¡¯s right! And now you have no choice but to explain yourself. And could you please stop shouting?¡± ¡°NO!!¡± ¡°I¡¯m tellin¡¯ ya, squirrel, we need that thing!¡± said Klumpkrump, holding up the Energy Cube threateningly. ¡°AND WHY WOULD THAT BE!!¡± shouted the squirrel. ¡°Well, we¡¯re on a quest to defeat some cows, and in order to do that, we need to be powerful, and in order to do that, we need artifacts, and so we are on a quest to collect them so we can take down the cows.¡± ¡°BUT THE COWS HAVE THE MOST GRICKLITE OF ANYONE IN THE UNIVERSE!!¡± screamed the squirrel. ¡°YOU CAN¡¯T POSSIBLY KILL THEM!!¡± ¡°Yes we can, squirrel!¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°NOT WITH AN ARMY OF TEN THOUSAND SQUIRRELS COULD YOU DO IT!¡± shouted the squirrel matter-of-faculously. ¡°So why are you stealing this artifact, yo?¡± asked Bird.Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon. ¡°IT¡¯S A LONG STORY!¡± yelled the squirrel. ¡°Tell it to us or face our wrath,¡± said Plagiarize, holding up his normal fist and his spider fist. ¡°Fine,¡± said the squirrel. ¡°Thank god he stopped shouting,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°IT ALL STARTED A FEW MONTHS AGO,¡± shouted the squirrel. ¡°I was a normal squirrel. But one day, I decided to buy cashews from the store! I walked in with my money. Cashews costed one cent each! I bought three thousand of them! Later that week, I was enjoying my cashews when ALL OF A SUDDEN, some police officers showed up and accused me of stealing! As it turned out, the store was supposed to be selling those cashews at ten cents each, and instead of letting themselves get in trouble, they ACCUSED ME OF STEALING!!! THOSE DIRTY HUMANS!!¡± ¡°Wow, that is so unfair,¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°I really connect with you, squirrel.¡± ¡°SHUT UP!!¡± yelled the squirrel. ¡°I¡¯M THE ONE TELLING THIS STORY!!¡± ¡°Jeez, okay,¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°Now WHERE WAS I?!?!¡± ¡°You just mentioned that the humans accused you of stealing?¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°Oh yeah! Then I ran from the police!¡± continued the squirrel. ¡°Out of the country. I stole a spaceship and escaped Earth. They haven¡¯t found me yet, but I KNOW THEY¡¯RE COMING!!! SO I NEED TO BE PREPARED!!!¡± ¡°So how did you end up here?¡± asked Snorter. ¡°I was almost out of fuel when I came here. I found refuge with 22 bears, and they offered to protect me. I live with them now. But they JUST GOT ATTACKED, and I think it¡¯s THE POLICE AND THEY¡¯VE FOUND ME!! So now I¡¯m GETTING OUT!!! BY WHATEVER MEANS NECESSARY!! AND I¡¯M TAKING THIS BALONGUS BRACELET WITH ME!!¡± (the bracelet he was stealing had letters on it that spelled ¡°Balongus¡±). ¡°How are you escaping if your ship is almost out of fuel?¡± asked Bird. ¡°The bears gave me fuel!! Now I¡¯m getting OUT OF HERE!¡± said the squirrel, turning to leave through a door on the opposite side of the room. ¡°Wait!¡± said Bird. ¡°WHAT??¡± screamed the squirrel. ¡°I GOTTA GO!!¡± ¡°...can we come with you, yo?¡± Chapter 78: The Pyramid of Corn ¡°Welcome to my ship!!¡± shouted the squirrel. ¡°Don¡¯t touch anything or I¡¯ll THROW YOU OUT THE BACK DOOR!!¡± The gang was being led into the squirrel¡¯s ship, which was parked around the back of Lizard Fortress. It was rather small, and had only a piloting room and a lounge room behind it. Qaeron just barely fit inside, and if Gumpton still existed, he definitely would not have fit. ¡°Okay, where are we going!!!!¡± yelled the squirrel. ¡°Let¡¯s see¡­¡± said Bird as he pulled out the maps. ¡°Okay, I can lead the way to the closest one.¡± Bird remained in the pilot room with the squirrel and everyone else filed into the small lounge room which contained nothing but a couch and heaps of acorns. ¡°Wow, look at all these acorns¡­¡± said Snorter, picking up one of the thousands of acorns in the room. ¡°I KNOW YOU¡¯RE TOUCHING MY NUTS!¡± yelled the squirrel from the control room. ¡°This is going to be a very long ride,¡± said Snorter with great heaps of despair and pain and suffering and sadness. All she wanted to do was to touch his nuts. Luckily for everyone on board, the ride on the squirrel¡¯s ship was merely 2 days. There were no beds, so when people were tired they laid on the cold floor. The squirrel slept on his mountain of acorns and let nobody touch or eat them except for himself. At some point along the journey, a realization occurred inside the brain of Bird. There were two artifacts on Smack-Smork¡­ and two maps that led to it. It was quite a big revelation to know that he hadn¡¯t made a mistake all that time ago when he gave those pirates those maps. He let everyone know of this glorious stupidity. Upon arriving at the planet, everyone noted how green it was. It looked like Earth if you flipped its proportions of water and land. The squirrel guided the ship to the surface of the planet and landed. He had to land on the shore of one of the oceans since every single little bit of land was covered in trees and trying to land a spaceship on trees is a stupid idea and I do not recommend it. Upon stepping out of the spaceship, there was no sign of the artifact in sight.This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings. ¡°How odd,¡± noted Plagiarize. ¡°I expected the artifact to conveniently be located in an extremely obvious place where we could find it almost immediately.¡± ¡°Hey, what¡¯s that big thing in the distance?¡± asked Klumpkrump. ¡°Ahoy!¡± said the human. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ uh¡­ well, I¡¯m not sure.¡± In the distance, beyond the wall of trees in front of them marking the beginning of the forest, was a large floating stone structure. It looked like an inverted pyramid and it was very mossy. ¡°OH MY GOD!!¡± yelled the squirrel. ¡°What?¡± asked everyone else. ¡°IT¡¯S THE PYRAMID OF CORN!!¡± ¡°The what?¡± asked Snorter. ¡°That sounds delicious.¡± ¡°IT¡¯S THE PYRAMID OF CORN!!¡± repeated the squirrel. ¡°Okay, but what does that mean, yo?¡± asked Hoofa. ¡°It¡¯s legendary and well-known!!¡± said the squirrel. ¡°I thought it was a myth! THERE¡¯S TREASURE INSIDE!!!! I¡¯M TAKING IT FOR MYSELF!!¡± and with that, the squirrel was off running into the forest in the direction of the pyramid. Everyone else had no choice but to follow him. Because the squirrel was, well, a squirrel, he was able to effortlessly navigate the forest and swiftly make his way to the Pyramid of Corn. Everyone else, however, was stuck on the ground and soon found themselves significantly slowed down by tons of vines which were in their way. Mushpuff and Klumpkrump became the designated vine-destroyers of the group, since they both had claws. Then Klumpkrump realized she totally had an Energy Cube and could probably vaporize all the vines in the way. And that was when she realized that her cube was missing. ¡°Guys, the Energy Cube is missing!!¡± said Klumpkrump suddenly as this shocking realization came to her. ¡°I bet that freaking squirrel stole it¡­¡± said Hoofa. ¡°I don¡¯t like that guy.¡± ¡°Well maybe I can do this!!¡± said Mushpuff, punching his paw forwards and unleashing a Yalmton laser upon the jungle before them. Tons of vines were destroyed and a clear path was made. During the duration of the ride on the squirrel¡¯s ship, Mushpuff discovered that his laser could only be fired for about 20 seconds at a time and then it needed a few minutes to recharge. By cutting all those vines, he used about 5 seconds of the laser¡¯s charge. As its charge level went down, it glowed less and less until it lost its glow entirely at 0 power. ¡°Let¡¯s go get that squirrel!¡± said Snorter. Everyone then ran forwards to go get that squirrel and the chapter was finished. Chapter 79: Down with the Squirrel By the time the gang reached the pyramid, the squirrel was nowhere to be seen. Also, there was no way up to it and no entrance that could be seen. It was just a massive upside down pyramid floating menacingly above them by like 20 meters. How were they even supposed to get up?? Well the answer is more than you may have guessed. ¡°How are we even supposed to get up??¡± asked Mushpuff. ¡°Behold!¡± said Plagiarize, picking up an acorn he had spotted on the ground. ¡°That bitch-ass squirrel must¡¯ve left this behind!¡± ¡°How is that going to help us?¡± asked Snorter inquisitively. ¡°You!¡± shouted the squirrel, suddenly stepping out from behind a tree. ¡°What do you mean, ¡®you¡¯?¡± asked Bird. ¡°You, you! You stole our Energy Cube! And I was totally gonna take that bracelet! You¡¯re a thief, yo!¡± ¡°I only stole it because I mistook it for my Energy Cube!¡± yelled the squirrel, whipping out two Energy Cubes. The resulting gasps ruptured the fabric of reality. ¡°AND if you give me my NUT back,¡± said the squirrel, climbing Plagiarize¡¯s leg and snatching the acorn, ¡°that¡¯s our way up!¡± The squirrel threw the acorn at the ground and a tree began growing up out of the shattered nut. ¡°Everyone grab a branch!¡± he shouted over the sound of growing tree. Everyone grabbed onto branches as they sprouted from the sides of the now quite sizeable tree. Qaeron had to try multiple times before the branch he grabbed didn¡¯t snap and drop him. Klumpkrump made sure to grab the gang¡¯s Energy Cube before getting on a branch. She had a realization that if anyone dangerous caught wind of a group of people with two Energy Cubes, they¡¯d all probably be dead pretty fast. She also noted how the squirrel¡¯s cube glowed far brighter than their cube. This was probably because it had not been used as much as theirs and had more power in it (because theirs had been used to power a giant cheese factory for many years, of course).The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. When the tree¡¯s top reached the bottom point of the pyramid, it did not stop growing. It simply began growing along the pyramid, crawling up the mossy bricks. As the tree grew up the ¡®mid, the gang and the squirrel came to the sudden realization that there was no entrance to the pyramid along its bottom sides. That would be quite a problem if not for the fact that both the squirrel and Klumpkrump had Energy Cubes and they could easily blast through the walls. At the exact moment that both the squirrel and Klumpkrump were about to shove their appendages into their respective cubes, the branch supporting Qaeron the bear snapped and he plummeted downwards. On his way down, Qaeron collided with the squirrel¡¯s Energy Cube as well as Klumpkrump¡¯s Energy Cube, and both of the cubes fell all the way to the ground. Extremely inconvenient, I know. ¡°Oh my god!!¡± shouted the squirrel. ¡°Someone get those back RIGHT NOW!!¡± ¡°Maybe you should, since you¡¯re, like, the best tree climber among us,¡± stated Klumpkrump. It was a factual fact. ¡°Shut up!!¡± yelled the squirrel, attempting to punch the cat in the face. He then lost his balance and fell to the ground, landing on Qaeron. ¡°Bear!¡± shouted the squirrel. ¡°I demand you to carry me and those cubes back up the tree AT ONCE!!!¡± Before anyone could say anything about anything at all, some rustling was heard in the bushes. ¡°Oh no!¡± yelled the squirrel. ¡°NOOOO!!!¡± ¡°Bro, nothing is happening!¡± shouted Hoofa down to the squirrel. ¡°IT¡¯S SQUETTLES!!¡± he shouted back as he grabbed both Energy Cubes. ¡°GIMME THESE!¡± The squirrel then ran away screaming just as a bunch of squirrel-like creatures appeared on scene from the opposite side of the clearing. They looked like squirrels but had smoother tails and rounded ears. There were about six of them, and they were all running in a pack towards the squirrel. These creatures were known as squettles, and this was their planet. Chapter 80: The Squettle Pursuit ¡°So now what?¡± asked Snorter, clinging to a branch in the tree where everyone except Qaeron still hung. ¡°Let¡¯s follow them!!¡± said Plagiarize, jumping down to the ground and nearly breaking his legs because he was, like, 6 meters up. Everyone else climbed their way to the ground and Plagiarize waited with Qaeron for them. Meanwhile, their squirrel companion was running madly through the jungle as the pack of squettles chased after him - now there were more that had arrived and were chasing him from the trees as well. He suddenly saw squettles climbing down the trunks of trees in front of him and veered left, face-first into a vine. He stumbled and the Energy Cubes tumbled onto the ground in front of him. The squirrel tried to get up and grab the cubes but the squettles caught up to him. They tried to lift him up to carry him away, but the squirrel punched one of them with the hand that the Balongus bracelet was on. The punched squettle was knocked backwards super far through the air and forcefully smacked into a tree. The other squettles, who were about to grab the squirrel, reconsidered. Instead, they reverted to Plan B: each of them grabbed a spear that was tied behind their backs with which to attack the squirrel from a distance.This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work. A bunch of spears lunged at the squirrel. He dodged them by rolling. He quickly got to his feet and the chase continued, but he did not have enough time to grab the Energy Cubes. One of the squettles picked them up. The squirrel continued to run for his life as the squettles chased him. Thrown spears whizzed past his head. More squettles occasionally joined the chase from within the jungle. The squirrel leaped for a tree, grabbed onto its trunk, and began scrambling up the bark. He was quickly joined by dozens of squettles. Meanwhile, more squettles were climbing adjacent trees. They hopped over to the tree that the squirrel was on and climbed down from above him. The squirrel saw this and countered it by leaping off the tree and plummeting down to the ground where a large group of squettles was waiting to catch him. Before he knew it, he was captured in a cage made of sticks and vines and was being carried away by the squettles to an unknown location. Chapter 81: The Switch Mushpuff, Plagiarize, Klumpkrump, Qaeron, Snorter, Bird, and Hoofa were all making their way through the jungle, following the path of acorns left behind by the squirrel as he was being chased by squettles. Eventually they came across the squirrel being carried in a cage by the squettles. Everyone hid behind some plants, as plants were not particularly difficult to come by where they were. Qaeron, being big and noticeable, thought it would be better if he hid in the trees instead. Everyone tried to stop him but they couldn¡¯t use their voices for fear of being heard by the squettles and they couldn¡¯t drag him away because he was big and bearly. Up and up the tree he went. The tree he was climbing bent further and further until it snapped and he and the top half of the tree (Qaeron included) fell directly in front of the group of squettles. ¡°HEY WHAT THE HECK!!¡± shouted the squirrel from inside his cage. ¡°BEAR, SAVE ME!!¡± Qaeron roared at the squettles. A few of them ran, but most of them held up their spears threateningly. Qaeron then screamed and ran away from them. And, as it turned out, the place he ran to was the bush that everyone was hiding behind. The squettles followed him and encountered the entirety of the gang. ¡°Bro, Qaeron, why would you do that?¡± asked Hoofa, whipping out her Barrel Gun. Plagiarize brandished the Fire Gem threateningly, and Mushpuff stood there and attempted to look menacing with his Yalmton bracelet.Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators! The squettles now looked less sure of themselves. Most of them took a few steps back. Plagiarize then fired a warning fireball, which was a bad idea. You see, fire was the most dangerous thing in a place like this, as just a little bit could burn a significant portion of jungle. The squettles needed to destroy this threat as soon as possible. They lunged at Plagiarize with their spears. The human instinctively thrusted his hands forwards, and, in doing so, roasted the squettles with a wave of flames. ¡°Oops,¡± said he. ¡°Well, that¡¯s one way to deal with that,¡± said Snorter. There then came a shout from the squirrel¡¯s cage which sounded something along the lines of ¡°THEY¡¯RE TAKING THE ENERGY CUBES!!!¡± Everyone rushed over to the squirrel where they saw the terrible sight of a group of squettles running away with the two Energy Cubes in tow. ¡°GET THEM!!¡± yelled the squirrel, causing everyone to run towards the squettles. ¡°WAIT, GET ME FIRST, YOU IDIOTS!!!!!!¡± he shouted once again. Plagiarize burned the wooden cage to a crisp and freed the squirrel. The gang and the squirrel then went in pursuit of the group of squettles who had escaped from their clutches. It was very unfortunate that not a single one of them thought to look back, for there was a fire spreading at the location Plagiarize had roasted the squettles. Chapter 82: The Dangly Rope The gang, squirrel included, was making their way through the jungle in the general direction of the squettle thieves. All the while, the fire behind them was spreading and consuming tree after tree. Mushpuff and Klumpkrump were at the front, talking about cat things. Plagiarize was walking and talking with Qaeron about bear politics. Hoofa rambled to Snorter about Gumpton and how severely he was being missed at this very moment. Snorter was nodding her head agreeingly but not really paying attention. She was thinking about how nice a baguette would taste right about now. Bird, meanwhile, was stuck at the back of the group with the squirrel. ¡°Y¡¯know, squirrel, that bracelet was going to be mine originally.¡± ¡°Oh yeah??¡± he replied. ¡°Well I guess it SUCKS be to you, then.¡± ¡°What¡¯s it even do, yo?¡± asked Bird. ¡°Ya wanna find out?!¡± yelled the squirrel. ¡°Uh, yeah?¡± The squirrel punched Bird with his braceleted arm. Bird was launched backwards with great force and luckily did not strike any trees. He landed on the ground painfully about 5 meters away. ¡°OW! Why would you do that, bro?¡± ¡°YOU ASKED FOR IT!!¡± shouted the squirrel. ¡°DON¡¯T ACCUSE ME OF ANYTHING!¡±The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. ¡°Well, I mean, I assumed it wasn¡¯t that dangerous if you were going to use it on me, yo!¡± ¡°WELL I¡¯M A DANGEROUS PERSON!¡± The gang and squirrel continued through the jungle for multiple minutes until they came upon a rope. This rope was dangling down from the trees above and nobody was able to see what it was attached to due to thick leaves and stuff. ¡°A rope!¡± exclaimed Plagiarize. ¡°Yup, that¡¯s what that is,¡± Mushpuff said. ¡°Yes. And now, as my mother was always fond of saying, ropes were made to be pulled. So now I will pull it.¡± ¡°STOP!!!!!!¡± yelled the squirrel, coming to the front of the group. ¡°Why should I listen to you, squirrel?¡± Plagiarize asked in a questioning sort of manner. ¡°IT¡¯S THE VILLAGE OF THE SQUETTLES! If they find out we¡¯re here, they¡¯ll KILL US ALL!!!¡± ¡°What sort of instruments will they employ to carry out this killing, might I ask?¡± At that very moment, there was a woosh of air and a twangy sound. Everyone looked down to see an arrow lodged into the ground not 4 centimeters from the squirrel. ¡°AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!¡± yelled he, the squirrel, running away in a panic. Everyone else soon followed his demonstration. Many more arrows shot down at the ground as this happened, but luckily they didn¡¯t hit anyone because of the great panic. Before long, everyone had scattered in all directions and nobody knew where anyone was anymore. Chapter 83: The Great Squirrel Heist Deep in the depths of the jungle, Bird¡­ was. Everyone else was there, too, but they were all scattered. He was still running from the encounter with the arrows at the dangling rope in the previous chapter. That running, however, soon stopped as he came face to face with a great wall of fire that was consuming the trees and vines of the jungle. This was, of course, the same fire that Plagiarize accidentally started when he roasted the squettles. Bird suddenly screamed and ran in the opposite direction. The squettles would not be happy about this, that was for sure. The squirrel, meanwhile, was about to perform a great heist. He needed to get his Energy Cube back, and if the opportunity presented itself, he would also grab the one that belonged to the other idiots. Since he was the only one who was actually good at climbing, he saw himself as the only one who was remotely capable to perform such a high-level heist as this. None of those other morons would be able to pull it off. Nah. It had to be him. After everyone scattered in their panic, the squirrel composed himself and snuck back to Squettle Village in the trees. Upon arriving there, he took a look around. The village was built in in the canopy of the jungle. Small wooden dome-shaped buildings were connected with bridges of rope. It looked like a large web of sorts. Squettles were running around and doing all sorts of things, but most of them were standing at the edges of the villages on rope bridges, armed with bows. They were looking for intruders. But they wouldn¡¯t be able to see him. Nuh-uh! He was too small and stealthy. He was much sneakier than any of the other people he was with, and they would never be able to see him as he snuck in there and snagged those cubes. Compared to him, those other guys were completely useless. In fact, why bother giving their cube back? When he finished this heist, he supposed he would simply go back to his ship and leave. Yeah. A good plan.The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. The squirrel, big genius he was, sat in the treetops and looked upon Squettle Village. He was scoping out the environment for the big heist. His eyes happened upon a certain house that had an unusually large amount of squettles around it, all of them wielding spears and bows. Bingo. That was most certainly the building where the cubes, or at least one cube, was. Just as he was about to leap down and begin the heist, a squettle sounded the alarm. This alarm consisted of a squettle blowing into a horn to produce a great big noise. The alarm was blown not because the squirrel was spotted but because the fire in the trees behind him was spotted. The squirrel, however, did not know this. He assumed that he had been spotted and wasted no time. If he stayed here, after all, he would certainly be shot. He swiftly leaped down onto one of the rope bridges of the villages. The squettles, however, had no time to pay attention to him. They were all evacuating due to the impending fire. Amidst all the chaos, the squirrel spotted a group of armed squettles running in the distance with two glowing yellow cubes. He began sprinting his way over to them. Nobody seemed to notice that there was a squirrel among them, and if they did, they had bigger problems. Mushpuff, meanwhile, had accidentally run in a circle and found himself back at the dangling rope that marked the entrance to Squettle Village. And all of a sudden, from up above, two Energy Cubes tumbled down onto the ground. ¡°Oh, how convenient,¡± said the cat, reaching to grab them. Suddenly, a large group of squettles came sliding down the rope like a bunch of firemen, and they were quick to draw their spears on him. Mushpuff ran backwards as he pushed his paw forwards to shoot a laser from his bracelet at the squettles. The laser sliced through squettle flesh like paper, but it also happened to smack right into one of the Energy Cubes. A blinding flash hit Mushpuff¡¯s eyes and then he saw no more. Chapter 84: The Slapping Technique Amidst all the chaos that was going on, Plagiarize was having a very chill time. Being immune to fire, he had absolutely nothing to worry about. He didn¡¯t stay behind, though, because he did not want to lose track of any of his friends. He assumed that they would be running away from the fire, so that is the direction that he went in. Running this way, Plagiarize soon encountered Bird, who was also running, except he was a penguin so he was quite a bit slower than Plagiarize. ¡°Need a hand?¡± asked Plagiarize. ¡°That¡­ would be¡­ appreciated¡­ yo,¡± said Bird, low on breath. Plagiarize scooped the bird up with his non-spider hand and shifted his Fire Gem to it instead. He assumed Bird would not want to be touched by that arm. Nobody would. I know I wouldn¡¯t. ¡°Y¡¯know, that was kinda a stupid move,¡± said Bird, now safely being carried sideways in the arm of Plagiarize as he leaped gloriously through the jungle. ¡°What, picking you up?¡± asked Plagiarize, preparing to drop Bird. ¡°No, burning those squettles!¡± ¡°And why is that?¡± ¡°Are you stupid?¡± ¡°No, not particularly,¡± replied the human.A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. ¡°It was a stupid move because you started a massive fire!!¡± ¡°You mean there¡¯s another fire??¡± asked Plagiarize, shocked out of his mind. ¡°No! I mean the fire we are running from is the fire you started, yo!!¡± ¡°Ooooooooohhhhhhh,¡± gasped Plagiarize with great surprise. ¡°so that¡¯s why there¡¯s a fire.¡± ¡°Sometimes I really question your intelligence, yo,¡± said the penguin. ¡°Oh? Why is that?¡± Before Bird had a chance to reply, there was a flash of light in the distance accompanied by a big boom sound. Plagiarize ran over to investigate. It took him, like, a minute or so to get there. On the ground lay Mushpuff, and near him were the shredded remains of a bunch of squettles. The nearby grass was scorched. ¡°Mushpuff, you good?¡± asked Plagiarize. ¡°This is not good, yo,¡± said Bird. ¡°Yeah, I know,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°And neither is he. Wake up!¡± Plagiarize started slapping the shit out of Mushpuff¡¯s face to attempt to wake him up. ¡°Okay, I don¡¯t think that¡¯s necessary, yo,¡± said Bird. ¡°What alternatives do you suggest?¡± asked Plagiarize, continuing to slap. ¡°Allow me,¡± said the penguin, pushing Plagiarize to the side. Bird then jumped with all his force on Mushpuff¡¯s tail. The resulting yowl was heard for miles around. Chapter 85: To the Spaceship The squirrel, meanwhile, was running through the treetops with an Energy Cube in tow. Its size compared to him was so big that he had to use both his arms to carry it, and he had to leave the other one behind. Two cubes was too much to run and jump through trees with. He decided to drop it out of sight in a bush on the ground. And now he was making his way towards the Pyramid of Corn, equipped with the Balongus Bracelet and the Yalmton Bracelet, the latter of which was borrowed from that cat. There was now only one small problem impeding his path to the pyramid: the fire had spread significantly and all the trees around it were engulfed in flames. Smoke rose high into the sky and blocked out the sun, which was in the midst of setting. The squirrel switched to Plan Q: he would have to go all the way around the fire and get to his ship. Then he would fly it to the top of the Pyramid of Corn and blast his way in with the Energy Cube. It was a perfect plan. It was flawless. And it would only take a couple of hours, considering the size of the burn zone. He set off. The gang, meanwhile, had entirely regrouped. Snorter, Hoofa, Klumpkrump, and Qaeron all heard Mushpuff¡¯s loud yell from when his tail was jumped on by Bird and they had all swiftly made their way to the source of the sound. Mushpuff had just finished explaining the series of events that led to him being knocked out. ¡°So where the heck did those two Energy Cubes go?¡± asked Klumpkrump. ¡°It was that squirrel!!¡± exclaimed Snorter. ¡°It had to have been! He¡¯s a thief!¡± ¡°Yeah, he was a bit suspicious. We should probably go find him.¡± Mushpuff then gasped. He had just now noticed that his bracelet was missing. ¡°I¡¯ve just now noticed that my bracelet is missing!!¡± shouted the cat. ¡°THAT FREAKING SQUIRREL!!¡± yelled Snorter. ¡°WE NEED TO GET HIM!¡±The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. ¡°Man, it¡¯s getting so warm over here,¡± noted Plagiarize. Everyone looked at the human and screamed. In the midst of their conversation, the fire had spread, as fire tends to do. Now it was about 2 meters to their left, which is where Plagiarize and his burning hair also was. Everyone screamed and ran, except they were smart about it and all ran in the same direction. ¡°Wait for me, guys!!¡± shouted Plagiarize, running after them. After they were a safe distance from the fire, the gang stopped for a break. Qaeron flopped onto the ground, causing a mini earthquake. ¡°There is a foreseeable problem in the fact that the fire will continue to spread,¡± said Bird. ¡°I say we should get to, like, a beach or something.¡± ¡°We landed at a beach when we arrived here!¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Yeah, but between us and that is the fire. And there¡¯s no way around that.¡± ¡°I object,¡± stated Plagiarize. ¡°I can make it through.¡± ¡°Yeah, but that doesn¡¯t really help us, yo,¡± said Bird. ¡°But thanks for the offer.¡± ¡°Wait!¡± exclaimed Hoofa. ¡°That squirrel¡¯s ship is, like, totally over there. You can hijack it!¡± ¡°I suspect that the squirrel is also on his way there,¡± theorized Mushpuff. ¡°In order to escape with his loot.¡± ¡°Then the sooner I leave, the better!¡± said Plagiarize, and without another word, he set off towards the fire. Meanwhile, the squirrel was having a difficult time. He was attempting to go around the fire to get to the beach where his spaceship was, but the spreading fire kept pushing him farther and farther away. His path was quite diagonal. Even worse, he was starting to get tired. Night had fully fallen and he had been running for a long time. He hadn¡¯t eaten anything since leaving the ship, and this cube was quite heavy. But he simply could not stop, because that would mean certain death at the hands of fire. But, as it turned out, the sleepiness was too great. He would soon burn if he didn¡¯t think fast. He did the only thing he could do: stick his paws into the Energy Cube, absorb some of its energy, and beam it upwards into the sky like a flare. Chapter 86: A Squirrel Diversion Plagiarize was making his way through the burnt wasteland which used to be a jungle. It was quite ashy and depressing. He had passed through all the actively burning parts and was almost all the way to the beach. He had not much light to see by, so he had to rely on the glow of the Fire Gem to aid him. As he was making his way through the burn zone, he caught a glimpse of something bright and long off to his left. He looked in time to see a big beam of energy erupting into the sky. THE SQUIRREL! It was indeed he who had their Energy Cube. Plagiarize needed to go beat him up right this instant. He set off towards the squirrel. Meanwhile, quite far away from Plagiarize, the gang waited patiently for him to return in a ship. Every few minutes, they had to take a mini hike in order to keep their distance from the fire. Because of this, they could not sleep. When the squirrel¡¯s energy beam shot into the sky, nobody could see it due to the fact that they were in a dense jungle. BAM! Back to Plagiarize we go. He was zipping his way through the jungle directly in the direction of the squirrel. The squirrel wasn¡¯t actually very far away from him. Plagiarize soon reached the actively burning part of the jungle once again, and soon after that, the edge of the fire itself. And he could see the squirrel. Merely a couple meters away, the poor squirrel was running as fast as he could, carrying the Energy Cube high above his head. He was struggling a lot. ¡°SQUIRREL!¡± yelled Plagiarize over the sound of burning wood and leaves and stuff like that. The squirrel jumped from the sudden loud noise. Clutching the Energy Cube, he turned around to see Plagiarize standing amidst the flames of the jungle. He looked like a demon, standing there in the burning brightness. Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°YOU!!¡± yelled the squirrel. ¡°HELP ME!¡± ¡°Why should I help you?¡± asked Plagiarize. ¡°I¡¯LL GIVE YOU THIS CUBE IF YOU CAN TAKE ME AWAY FROM THIS FIRE!¡± ¡°Yeah, but if I burn you, I can take the cube and the bracelet you stole from Mushpuff!¡± ¡°If you burn me, I¡¯ll VAPORIZE YOU!!¡± shouted the squirrel, tapping the Energy Cube with his squirrel hands. ¡°Okay, fine,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°I guess it won¡¯t hurt any-- THINK FAST!!¡± and without any hesitation, he shoved the Fire Gem forwards at the squirrel. The squirrel, however, was a squirrel. He dropped the Energy Cube and slipped away super swiftly. Alliteration, eh? ¡°Rats!¡± said Plagiarize. He picked up the cube. ¡°Well, at least I have this now.¡± Many bright colors then filled Plagiarize¡¯s vision. Purple, blue, red, and yellow lasers shot out from the depths of the jungle and narrowly missed the human. The freaking Yalmton Bracelet! A squirrel hidden amongst the leaves of a jungle with a deadly laser is quite a force to be reckoned with, so Plagiarize decided not to reckon with it and sprinted off in the direction of the beach, but also making sure to get into the burning area of the jungle so the squirrel couldn¡¯t follow him. Now that the squirrel had no Energy Cube to carry, though, he was able to run much faster. Jumping from tree to tree, he outpaced Plagiarize, so that even though the human had a faster route to the ship, they both arrived at the same time. And that was when chaos erupted. Chapter 87: Confrontation at the Ship Amidst the burnt trees of the jungle, the squirrel watched. The human had arrived at his ship moments before him (yeah sorry I totally lied in the previous chapter when I said they arrived at the same time lol) and was banging on the door trying to open it because the fool didn¡¯t have the keys. Now the squirrel was stuck in a little bit of a predicament. He wanted to blast Plagiarize to pieces with the Yalmton Bracelet, but Plagiarize was standing directly in front of his spaceship, and hitting that thing with a laser was probably not the best idea. And so the squirrel sat and waited. Plagiarize, after seeing that he definitely wasn¡¯t going to get into the ship, decided that the best course of action was to sit down in front of the door and wait for the squirrel to show up. And so there they both sat, each one waiting for the other one to do something. The squirrel, seeing this, put his brain to use. He dashed off through the burnt jungle until he was a good distance away. Then he shot a laser with the Yalmton Bracelet so that it narrowly missed both Plagiarize and his spaceship. His plan was to lure the human off into the jungle a safe distance away, and then zap him with the Yalmton Bracelet and fly away in the ship. Things didn¡¯t happen quite that way, though. Plagiarize, seeing the laser, ran behind the ship because he didn¡¯t want to get zapped. After waiting a few seconds, he absorbed some of the Energy Cube¡¯s power in his hands and poked them around the corner of the ship in the direction that the Yalmton laser came from. An energy beam shot from his hands towards that area, but the squirrel was not there anymore. Plagiarize wasn¡¯t at the front door of the ship anymore, and that¡¯s all that the squirrel needed. He unlocked it with his keys and stepped right inside, locking it again behind him.This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it. ¡°SQUIRREL!!¡± yelled Plagiarize from outside, having heard the door shut. He started banging on the side of the ship. ¡°OPEN UP!!¡± ¡°If you don¡¯t get away from my ship in 2 seconds I¡¯ll BLAST YOU TO BITS WITH ITS WEAPONS!!¡± shouted the squirrel from inside the ship. ¡°Your ship doesn¡¯t have any weapons! And if you don¡¯t get out of it right now, I¡¯ll destroy it with the Energy Cube that you left behind!¡± ¡°You wouldn¡¯t destroy this ship, it¡¯s your ONLY WAY OFF THIS PLANET!!¡± The squirrel had finally managed to stump Plagiarize with this statement. He would not be destroying the squirrel¡¯s ship because then he and the rest of the gang would be trapped on the planet with no hope of escaping unless discovered by the Bearmy. And before the human had time to even respond to the squirrel, his ship had lifted off the ground and was headed towards the Pyramid of Corn. Chapter 88: Asleep on the Beach A fair distance away, in the ever-shrinking non-burnt section of the jungle, the rest of the gang continued on their big trek in order to avoid burning to death. About 2 hours had passed since Plagiarize set off on his epic quest of fortune and glory and stuff. They had gone many a distance off into the jungle and so forth, and now nobody knew where they even were at all. After even more walking, they happened upon a beach. For, you see, this planet had more than one body of water on it, and they had just found themselves a second one. ¡°Oh my god I can finally relax!¡± said Klumpkrump, flopping down on the sand. ¡°That was the most walking I have ever done in my entire life,¡± declared Snorter, falling down next to Klumpkrump. Mushpuff, Bird, and Qaeron also sat down upon the sand, and Hoofa went to the shore and sat down over there to look upon the water and the night sky. It was very pretty indeed. Sitting on the sand and listening to the waves, she thought about Gumpton and how much he wasn¡¯t here.The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. Within minutes, everyone had soon fallen asleep on the beach. It would have been a very peaceful environment if not for the deafening snoring of Qaeron. Snorter was especially deafened, as she was laying on the bear¡¯s stomach, and Bird was laying on hers. It was a very impressive stacking of animals, and it was quite a wonder that none of them fell off. Mushpuff and Klumpkrump were originally laying quite close to The Stack before the loud snoring began. Then they decided to migrate farther away in order to avoid major headaches. It was this very sight that Plagiarize stumbled upon when he emerged from the jungle about two hours later. He was able to locate them due to the sound of Qaeron snoring, and when he saw everyone asleep on the beach, he couldn¡¯t resist also falling asleep. And for the next hour or so, not a single thing happened. Well, not on that beach, at least. A great many things were happening elsewhere¡­! Chapter 89: The Return The top side of the Pyramid of Corn was entirely covered with stalks of corn. It was a very corny environment, and the squirrel almost felt bad about squashing a few of them when he landed his spaceship right on top of them. Almost, but not quite. He was a big fan of corn, but corn was nowhere near as awesome as freaking ACORNS. Now those were delectable. And to prepare himself for an adventure of such high caliber as this, he grabbed one from his acorn storage room (also known as any part of his spaceship that wasn¡¯t the control room) and popped it into his mouth. He then adjusted his two bracelets and stepped out of the door into the corn field. And then he made a shocking realization, as demonstrated by his next five or so words. ¡°ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!¡± yelled the squirrel, punching a nearby stalk of corn. For, you see, dear reader, he had entirely forgotten that he totally needed an Energy Cube so he could blast into the top of the pyramid. There was no other way it could possibly be done, and there certainly was not a proper secret entrance that he wasn¡¯t aware of which could¡¯ve prevented a great many things from happening in the near future of this tale. More than a little annoyed now, the squirrel ran back into his ship, slammed the door behind him, and powered up the engines. It was time to retrace his steps and find the cube that he left behind in the jungle. But little did he know that it had already been found!! Multiple hours prior, a group of squettles was on the run from Squettle Village after it burned to the ground, and they just so happened to run right past the place where the squirrel hid the second Energy Cube in a bush. It would¡¯ve been a great spot to hide a bright, yellow, glowing, and fairly visible cube if it wasn¡¯t for¡­ well¡­ you know. The squettles saw that cube and snatched it real good.The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation. By the time the squirrel reached the bush he hid the cube in, it was halfway across the nearest ocean on a small raft with four squettles. His only option left was to find that human and take the cube by force. Shouldn¡¯t be that hard, thought the squirrel. Hoofa, still awake, was the first to notice the arrival of the squirrel¡¯s ship. She was still staring out at the ocean and thinking sad things, but the engine of the spaceship interrupted her thoughts. Looking behind herself, she saw the squirrel¡¯s ship landing on the beach, and behind it, the jungle was ablaze. And sprawled out on the beach right by the ship was Plagiarize, with their Energy Cube!! Hoofa was very shocked by this, as I¡¯m sure you would also be if you were her in this particular scenario. I know I would be. Shocked, that is. The next few events occurred in a merely a couple of seconds. The door of the squirrel¡¯s ship opened, and Hoofa spotted the squirrel with the Yalmton and Balongus bracelets on either of his wrists. The dog began to whip out her Barrel Gun, which had been set on the sand beside her. When she saw a Yalmton-colored glow coming from the squirrel¡¯s wrist, though, she entered panic mode and sped up her gun-grabbing significantly. By the time Hoofa pulled the trigger on the Barrel Gun, it was too late. Chapter 90: Atop the Pyramid The squirrel¡¯s Yalmton Bracelet was about to fire lasers directly at Plagiarize before it fizzled out. As it turned out, it was completely out of charge and he would have to wait for it to recharge. Before the squirrel could react, though, he was smacked by a barrel at high velocity and knocked unconscious. ¡°TAKE THAT, YOU STUPID SQUIRREL!!¡± yelled Hoofa. By this point, everyone else was waking up. ¡°What the heck just happened?¡± asked Plagiarize, getting up from the sand he was laying on. ¡°I was having a nice nap!¡± ¡°Plagiarize!!¡± yelled Bird, jumping off the top of The Stack. ¡°What happened??¡± Everyone was very eager to hear how Plagiarize¡¯s plan to get to the squirrel¡¯s ship and rescue everyone else went terribly wrong. And so he explained the whole thingamajig. Mushpuff took the Yalmton Bracelet from the squirrel¡¯s wrist, and Bird finally got the Balongus Bracelet from his other wrist. Bird took the squirrel¡¯s keys and everyone piled into the ship. The next stop was the Pyramid of Corn. The squirrel was to be abandoned on the beach, because there was really no reason to kill him. It was entirely improbable that he would ever make his way back to the gang, so why bother? And now, after a very unnecessarily long series of events, the gang finally found themselves standing on top of the Pyramid of Corn with nothing to stop them. Plagiarize handed Klumpkrump the Energy Cube to do the honors of breaking and entering. ¡°Huzzah!¡± shouted she, the cat, shooting a beam of energy down at the pyramid¡¯s top. Alas, instead of smacking through the pyramid, the beam smacked into a magical shield and nothing even happened at all. Oh no! Who could¡¯ve expected this? Nobody, that¡¯s who. ¡°AHA!¡± shouted the squirrel, jumping off the top of the ship. ¡°I suspected this might happen!¡± It turned out that just as the ship was powering up to leave, the squirrel had regained consciousness and jumped aboard. Everyone was now scrambling to kill him using whatever means necessary. ¡°WAIT!¡± yelled he, the rodent. ¡°I have important knowledge of this here pyramid! And if you don¡¯t kill me, I can share it with you guys! But if I die, it¡¯s gone forever! So what¡¯s it gonna be?!¡± Despite everyone¡¯s collective hatred for this squirrel, they all agreed that they totally needed to know how to get inside this pyramid, because they were looking for an artifact, after all! And it was likely inside this pyramid because, well, it seemed like a very big, obvious, and important thing.If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. ¡°Tell it to us, then, yo!¡± said Bird. He, Klumpkrump, Hoofa, Plagiarize, and Mushpuff all brandished their weapons at him as he spoke in case he attempted any hijinx. ¡°Well I can¡¯t very well tell it when you¡¯re all THREATENING me like that!!¡± explained the squirrel. ¡°It¡¯s too stressful! Too much pressure!¡± ¡°Well TOO BAD then!!¡± yelled Plagiarize. ¡°We¡¯re not that STUPID!!!¡± ¡°In that case, it looks like I¡¯ll just have to be on my way,¡± said the squirrel, inching away from the group. ¡°Too bad I couldn¡¯t share my important secrets on this pyramid. A real shame!!¡± ¡°...okay, fine!!¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Y¡¯all, put down your weapons.¡± ¡°Are you sure that¡¯s a good idea?¡± asked Mushpuff questioningly. ¡°Well, we gotta get into this pyramid somehow.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure we could figure it out ourselves without the squirrel¡¯s help. He¡¯s too full of tricks.¡± ¡°Aw, come on!!¡± yelled the squirrel. ¡°I¡¯ll tell you everything I know about it!! Don¡¯t you want to know why there¡¯s a freaking giant floating pyramid!!!¡± ¡°Yes I do!¡± said Klumpkrump, who had already put the Energy Cube down on the ground. ¡°I¡¯m all ears, squirrel!¡± ¡°You guys are way too trusting,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°Why don¡¯t we do things my way?¡± ¡°Yo, what¡¯s your way?¡± asked Bird. ¡°Watch and learn.¡± Without warning, Mushpuff got on all fours and rushed at the squirrel. The squirrel shrieked and started running, too, but he was far too slow. Mushpuff grabbed him by the neck with his claws and pinned him to the floor. His other paw (the one with the Yalmton Bracelet) was aimed at the squirrel. ¡°If you don¡¯t quit being difficult in five seconds, squirrel, I will personally blast you to bits.¡± The squirrel was about to respond before he saw something behind Mushpuff¡¯s face. ¡°Look!¡± shouted the squirrel. ¡°The squettles! They¡¯re getting away!¡± Mushpuff, alarmed, looked back behind himself. So did Plagiarize, Bird, Snorter, Hoofa, Qaeron, and Klumpkrump. There was, of course, nothing there. It was merely an opportunity for the squirrel to slip out of Mushpuff¡¯s grasp and make a mad dash to the Energy Cube that Klumpkrump dropped on the ground. Chapter 91: Squirrel Shuffle ¡°Hey, what the heck??¡± said Mushpuff after he turned back around to face where the squirrel was mere moments ago. Glancing around, he saw that the squirrel had just picked up the Energy Cube that Klumpkrump dropped. ¡°Get that squirrel!!¡± shouted the cat. Everyone scrambled to get the squirrel, but in the confusion caused by all of the moving limbs, the squirrel was briefly lost. ¡°I think I got him!!¡± Klumpkrump yelled triumphantly. ¡°Oh, wait, nevermind, that¡¯s Qaeron¡¯s arm.¡± Thanks to the Great Confusion, nobody spotted the squirrel as he yanked the keys to his ship from Bird¡¯s flipper. Then it was merely a straight shot to the ship itself. Everyone was still clumped up and scrambling to try to find him, and he was only spotted by Mushpuff when he was halfway to his ship. ¡°Hey!¡± yelled the cat, once again getting on all fours to run at the squirrel. The squirrel, however, absorbed some energy from the Energy Cube into his little squirrel hands, and Mushpuff dared not get any closer for fear of vaporization. ¡°Nobody move or I will DESTROY YOU ALL IN HALF A SECOND!!¡± yelled the squirrel, backing away towards his ship. And nobody did. It was only after the squirrel had gotten into the ship that Mushpuff made his move. With what little charge remained in the Yalmton Bracelet (it hadn¡¯t much time to charge since the incident where Plagiarize almost died at the hands of the squirrel), he zapped the ship.You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version. Immediately, a bunch o¡¯ smoke started coming out of where Mushpuff zapped it. Many beeping warnings were going off that could be heard from the outside. There was a loud bang as the squirrel slammed the main door of the ship open. ¡°WHAT THE HECK?!??!¡± yelled the squirrel. ¡°WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!!?!?¡± ¡°Because you were about to get away!¡± exclaimed the cat. ¡°NOW YOU DON¡¯T EVEN HAVE A CHANCE OF GETTING AWAY!!!¡± ¡°We have a better chance now than if you had flown away.¡± ¡°Great point, bro,¡± said Hoofa. ¡°OH YEAH??¡± shouted the squirrel. ¡°WELL NOW YOU HAVE ME TO DEAL WITH!!¡± As the squirrel said this, Hoofa shot a barrel at the Energy Cube he was still holding. It was knocked out of his hands and fell down over the edge of the pyramid. ¡°And now you have us to deal with,¡± replied Hoofa. The squirrel attempted to run to the edge of the pyramid to jump off, but was once again caught by Mushpuff. This time, he wasn¡¯t getting away so easy. ¡°Okay, squirrel, now could you please tell us all you know about this pyramid?¡± suggested Mushpuff. There was nothing the squirrel could do at this point. They would definitely not fall for the ¡°hey, look behind you!¡± trick again. And so he began. ¡°WELL!¡± Upon hearing this first word, everyone gathered around the squirrel, who was pinned below Mushpuff. ¡°It all started a long time ago¡­¡± Chapter 92: The Tale of The Corn Wizard ¡°...and by ¡®a long time ago¡¯, I mean about 30 years. But that¡¯s, like, TWO or THREE squirrel lives! I was not alive for this, people!!¡± ¡°Yeah, I don¡¯t think any of us were,¡± interrupted Mushpuff. ¡°Well--¡± Plagiarize began. ¡°STOP INTERRUPTING!!¡± shouted the squirrel. ¡°DO YOU WANT THIS STORY OR NOT???¡± ¡°Continue,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°WELL, AS I WAS SAYING, it all started about thirty years ago. There used to be this well-known wizard, and he went by the name of The Corn Wizard.¡± ¡°Who in their right mind would name their child The Corn Wizard??¡± asked Klumpkrump. ¡°That¡¯s messed up.¡± ¡°I would!¡± said Snorter. ¡°IT¡¯S A FAKE NAME, YOU IDIOT!!¡± yelled the squirrel at the top of his lungs. ¡°HIS NAME WASN¡¯T ACTUALLY The Corn Wizard!! That¡¯s just what he CALLED HIMSELF!! Now STOP INTERRUPTING ME!!! So--¡± ¡°Okay,¡± interrupted Plagiarize. ¡°No more interruptions.¡± The squirrel shot him a look and continued. ¡°Okay, so this guy, The Corn Wizard. He grew really popular because he discovered and mastered the art of Corn Magic and he used it to feed tons of starving people. But then all these charity organizations who made all their money by feeding starving people got really angry since they couldn¡¯t make money anymore due to the fact that all the STARVING PEOPLE were now being fed CORN!!! So they organized an assassination on The Corn Wizard. He died, a lot of really complicated stuff happened afterwards, a lot of people went to jail, blah, blah, blah, BLAH!!! Then a big tomb was made for him because everyone loved him - well, except for the people who assassinated him - and all of his treasures and stuff were put inside of it. It was inspired by the tomb of some other guy which was built thousands of years prior on the same planet, which was a pyramid. So The Corn Wizard¡¯s tomb was also a pyramid.¡±You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story. ¡°Wait--¡± interjected Plagiarize. ¡°SHUT UP! So The Corn Wizard¡¯s tomb was a pyramid, and as you can probably guess, it¡¯s the one we¡¯re standing on now. And the reason for that is that it was stolen by some space pirate guys and nobody had seen it since. Until now. Because we¡¯re STANDING ON IT!!¡± ¡°So why is it floating, and why is it here?¡± asked Bird. ¡°I DON¡¯T KNOW!!¡± yelled the rodent. ¡°YOU THINK I KNOW EVERYTHING???¡± ¡°Squirrel, I have a question!¡± splorforgorated Plagiarize. ¡°WHAT IS IT???¡± ¡°Did this all happen on the planet Earth?¡± ¡°YES!!¡± replied the squirrel. ¡°How did you know that??¡± ¡°That¡¯s where I¡¯m from.¡± ¡°And why is that important??¡± ¡°It¡¯s not.¡± ¡°So STOP TELLING ME USELESS INFORMATION!!¡± shouted the squirrel. ¡°Wait, so where does the part about the shield come in?¡± asked Klumpkrump. ¡°RIGHT! The SHIELD!! Well, seeing as it¡¯s such an important tomb, I don¡¯t see why it wouldn¡¯t have a shield.¡± ¡°It certainly isn¡¯t a typical energy shield,¡± said Snorter. ¡°Those can be easily pierced by Energy Cube beams.¡± ¡°Mmmm, yez, and the shield isn¡¯t gricklite either, no?¡± noted Qaeron, speaking for the first time in 22 chapters (whoops). ¡°Those shields are green, yez.¡± ¡°So then what the heck is this thing, yo??¡± asked Bird. ¡°Maybe it¡¯s a corn shield,¡± Plagiarize suggested. ¡°It¡¯s yellow, and corn is famously known for its yellow color.¡± ¡°My god, Plagiarize, I think you¡¯ve cracked the case!¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°It¡¯s a corn shield!¡± Chapter 93: Corn Magic ¡°Well, squirrel, is there any other way into this pyramid?¡± asked Mushpuff, who was still pinning the squirrel against the ground. ¡°Yes!¡± said the squirrel. ¡°But you have to let me go first!!¡± ¡°What is preventing you from just telling us?¡± asked the cat. ¡°It¡¯s a PHYSICAL THING that must be done, you dumb cat!¡± yelled the squirrel. ¡°LET ME DEMONSTRATE!!¡± ¡°There is no reason why you can¡¯t just tell us,¡± replied Mushpuff, digging his claws into the squirrel. ¡°OW!¡± gasped the squirrel. ¡°OKAY! FINE! I DON¡¯T KNOW OF ANY WAY OF GETTING INSIDE!! STOP SCRATCHING ME!!¡± ¡°Well then I guess that means we¡¯ll have to figure it out on our own,¡± said Cat. ¡°What does that mean for me?¡± asked the squirrel questioningly. Mushpuff looked around at the other members of the gang. Everyone shrugged. ¡°How about we just have Qaeron sit on him for the time being?¡± asked Snorter. After a bit of further discussion, Qaeron agreed to sit on the squirrel¡¯s tail while everyone else found a way into the pyramid and ventured into its depths if they found one. The squirrel was in a great deal of pain, but it¡¯s a known fact that squirrel tails, while delicate, are always pretty much fine after being sat on by a bear. It¡¯s a fact that was discovered by the great scientist Doctor Shnerd, who has no relevance to this story and therefore shall not be mentioned again. The plan for finding an entrance was simple: everyone would split up and sorta just rub their hands/paws/whatnot over the ground until a secret door or something was found. Because that is how secret doors tend to be found. Alas, Mushpuff, Bird, Plagiarize, Hoofa, Snorter, and Klumpkrump all set off in their own separate directions to look for secret entrances. Soon they were all lost amidst the cornstalks that were still there in case you forgot. Because I totally didn¡¯t forget about the cornstalks.The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. After a good 4 minutes, everyone was already getting quite bored. The novelty of the corn had worn off, but the corn itself had not. In fact, the corn had never worn anything, for it was corn. Well actually I guess it wore husks. Snorter, being rather hungry, eventually sat down and grabbed a thingamabob of corn. She started eating it, husk and all, and before 10 minutes could pass, she had eaten about 30 of them. And, with each corn husk that she ate, the ground below Qaeron and the squirrel became gradually more slanted. ¡°WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!??!!?¡± yelled the squirrel, his tail still pinned below Qaeron. He had been considering scratching Qaeron with his claws, but after seeing the bear¡¯s own impressive claws, decided against it. ¡°Hmmm, the bear does not know, yez?¡± said Qaeron. ¡°Well maybe you should INVESTIGATE!!¡± ¡°Oh, no, a bear cannot dizobey his friends¡¯ orders!¡± exclaimed the bear. ¡°I muzt keep you here, mmmm, zo that you do not ezcape!¡± ¡°And who are they to boss you around?¡± asked the squirrel. ¡°Don¡¯t you think you should have a little more authority, considering you¡¯re the most powerful one?¡± ¡°Mmmm, no, Qaeron will not lizten to the zquirrel¡¯s lies, no!¡± ¡°I¡¯M NOT LYING!¡± yelled the squirrel. ¡°IT¡¯S A FACT, YOU DUMB BEAR!!¡± ¡°Qaeron does not like to be inzulted, oh no,¡± Qaeron said. ¡°Please ztop!¡± As Qaeron and the squirrel were having their conversation, the ground was tilting more and more. Hearing the squirrel¡¯s shouts, Bird decided to check up on him and Qaeron. Upon arriving on scene, he saw that the bear and the squirrel were sitting atop a giant slab of the ground that had come upwards, revealing a staircase into the depths of the pyramid below. ¡°THE SECRET DOOR IS OPEN!!¡± he yelled. Everyone swiftly gathered at the entrance alongside him. ¡°Wow, I wonder what caused that,¡± said Snorter. ¡°Has anyone been doing anything unusual?¡± asked Bird. Everyone answered negatively¡­ except Snorter. ¡°I¡¯ve been eating corn,¡± said the pig. ¡°Maybe that was what caused it to open.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s test, yo,¡± said Bird, picking a husk of corn and tossing it to the pig, who devoured it deliciously. As soon as she did, the slab of ground tilted open a little more. ¡°Must be that Corn Magic that the squirrel was talking about,¡± said Klumpkrump. Everyone gathered their readiness before making their way into the deep dank depths below. Chapter 94: Prisoner of the Pyramid After making their way down a couple of the steps, the great big ol¡¯ door above them slammed shut with a big loud WHAM! Qaeron and the squirrel were now separated from Mushpuff and Co. Who knows what may happen up there? We¡¯ll reconnect with them later. Hopefully nobody dies! It soon became apparent that it was very dark in the tunnel everyone was now in. In order to light their way, Plagiarize had to shoot blasts of fire in front of them using his Fire Gem. The interior of the pyramid was quite old and musty, and the surfaces were all covered in vines and plants and stuff. The fire shot by Plagiarize occasionally singed these vines, but they never really caught fire because that would be highly inconvenient. Everyone literally just finished escaping from a big fire, and it would be rather annoying and repetitive for that to happen again. Upon reaching the bottom of the staircase, everyone found themselves in a large room. This room, despite its size, was almost entirely empty. Scattered across the floor was some gold coins and some cobs of corn. ¡°Looks like somebody must¡¯ve looted this place,¡± stated Mushpuff. ¡°Probably those pirates who stole the pyramid in the first place,¡± replied Snorter. ¡°This is probable all that¡¯s left of the Corn Wizard¡¯s vast treasure.¡± Plagiarize continued blasting fire everywhere, lighting up the room. The room continued to disappoint everyone with its emptiness. ¡°Well, this was a complete failure,¡± said the human. ¡°I suppose we oughta go back now.¡± Everyone else agreed, and they soon found themselves heading back towards the stairs. But that was when a voice spoke some words from the darkness behind them. ¡°Oy, wait!¡± spoke The Voice. Plagiarize whipped around while still blasting out a great big load of fire, nearly burning the source of the voice to a crisp. Luckily, the capybara to whom the voice belonged jumped back in shock. ¡°Oy, ya nearly burnt me up, ya idiot! I oughta blast you for that, ya absolute lump of coal.¡± This capybara wasn¡¯t your average capybara, you see. For strapped upon its back was a ginormous deadly-looking gun of ultimate destruction. Mushpuff and Hoofa stood at the ready with their Yalmton Bracelet and Barrel Gun.Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit. ¡°Who the hell are you??¡± asked Plagiarize. ¡°I could ask the same thing, ya wad of lamb.¡± ¡°Well, it¡¯s a bit of a long story. It all started a--¡± ¡°I don¡¯t care one piece of cheese for any long stories,¡± said the capybara. ¡°Give me the short version, eh?¡± ¡° Collecting artifacts for the purpose of defeating cows,¡± said Bird. ¡°Very well,¡± said the capybara. ¡°Then I will give you my story. Short. I¡¯m Chris. I was with a gang of pirates. We stole this pyramid and took it somewhere remote. Went inside, ransacked it, realized we couldn¡¯t get out. The rest of us died, I got a necklace that extends life at the cost of speeding it up perceptually. I don¡¯t know how long it¡¯s been, but it seems like about 5 hours.¡± ¡°Well, I regret to inform you that it has actually been around 30 years,¡± said Klumpkrump. ¡°I don¡¯t care about anything other than getting out of here,¡± stated the ¡®bara. ¡°I¡¯ll give you a share of the treasure.¡± ¡°Very well, then!¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°Come right this way!¡± The gang led the capybara up the stairs and to the great big door from whence they came, which was conveniently closed. Plagiarize knocked on it. ¡°Hello? Anyone out there?¡± ¡°Did you really not leave anyone up there to guard the door, ya sack of curds?¡± asked Chris the capybara. ¡°No, no, I assure you, we left a bear up there to guard it.¡± ¡°And a particularly evil squirrel,¡± added Hoofa. ¡°You left an evil squirrel to guard the door? How stupid are you?¡± ¡°No, the bear was guarding the door and the squirrel. As in, sitting on him.¡± ¡°Well, wherever they are, they certainly aren¡¯t there anymore! Oh, I¡¯m gonna be trapped in this pyramid forever!¡± ¡°Hey, at least if we don¡¯t manage to get you out, maybe the pyramid will fall apart naturally in, like, a few hundred years, and you can walk on out!¡± This comment from Hoofa did not lift Chris¡¯ spirits. ¡°How will I see my family then?¡± asked the capybara. ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± said Plagiarize. ¡°You can still visit their gravestones.¡± Chris the capybara groaned and sat down against the wall. Chapter 95: Qaeron-Squirrel Quarrel When the door of the pyramid slammed shut, the squirrel managed to wedge his way out from beneath Qaeron. The bear ran after him, but the squirrel was too agile. He leaped off the side of the pyramid, down to the ground to where the Energy Cube landed all that time ago. Qaeron, being a bear, was unable to survive a fall from such a great height and could only watch as the squirrel grabbed the cube. He fired a warning shot at the bear, who backed up to get out of the squirrel¡¯s line of sight/fire. Now Qaeron felt bad. He had failed his mission of sitting on a squirrel for an indeterminate amount of time. What would everyone think when they saw this? Qaeron, assuming the squirrel had run away, sat down to devise a plan. What he didn¡¯t realize was that the squirrel ran towards the tree that he had planted beneath the pyramid all that time ago. Because, you see, if you recall all the way back to chapter 79, I clearly stated, ¡°When the tree¡¯s top reached the bottom point of the pyramid, it did not stop growing. It simply began growing along the pyramid, crawling up the mossy bricks.¡± This was just what the squirrel utilized to slowly make his way up the pyramid with an Energy Cube in tow. He made sure to climb up the side opposite where he remembered Qaeron was standing, so that upon reaching the top, he would be safely positioned behind the bear and out of sight due to corn. After a few minutes of sitting and thinking, Qaeron¡¯s mind began to wander to other topics - things that only a bear such as he could think about, such as his past on Bear Stone Planet¡­ and his past before even that. He decided to get up and walk around, because it was just one of those times where you¡¯re thinking so hard, you need to get up and walk around. Happens all the time. As he was walking along one of the edges of the pyramid, he thought he heard a sound in the distance. It sounded like the rustling of corn. Now, you may be asking yourself, ¡°wouldn¡¯t one constantly hear corn rustling if they were standing in a big flat place suspended high above the ground with lots of corn on it, such as the top of an upside-down pyramid?¡± Well, this particular rustling that Qaeron heard was distinct from the rest of the rustling all around him. It had a certain squirrelly quality to it that only sounds produced by a squirrel can have.Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings. Hearing this squirrelly rustling, Qaeron became instantly alert and ready for action. What he wasn¡¯t expecting was what happened next. From his right, he heard what sounded like dozens of corn stalks simultaneously falling and hitting the floor, and the sound was rapidly getting louder. Looking in that direction, he saw with horror that an energy beam was whizzing by on its way towards him, slicing corn like a simile comparing an energy beam slicing through corn to something that is easily sliced. Qaeron whipped to action, running towards the swiftly approaching beam of death and vaporization. The beam got closer to him and he got closer to it. It was extraordinarily intense, and nobody knew what was going to happen next. Neither Mushpuff, nor Bird, nor Plagiarize, or even Klumpkrump. Certainly not Snorter. And Hoofa? Well, let¡¯s just say she also didn¡¯t know. Even Qaeron didn¡¯t know. The squirrel didn¡¯t, either. Nor did Chris or DeBear II. So it came as a complete and utter shock to everyone involved that, just as Qaeron jumped off of the ground, nothing remarkable happened at all and he landed back on his feet mere moments later, the deadly beam having safely passed under him. Now that Qaeron was now in the area where all the corn had been chopped by the beam, he could easily see in all directions. The squirrel was mere meters away. However, the squirrel also had a very clear line of sight to the bear, and so they both spotted each other at just about the same time. With no time to think, Qaeron made the leap of his life for the squirrel as the squirrel¡¯s paws made the turn of their life (as in, to redirect the energy beam they were conducting back towards the bear in order to vaporize him). This would be a great cliffhanger to end the chapter on, but I think what will happen next is quite predictable, so I might as well give it to you now. As Qaeron was majestically leaping through the air, the energy beam was slowly getting closer and closer to him. Alas, when it was mere centimeters from his fur, his front paws collided with the squirrel and crushed him into the ground. There was plenty of ripping and mauling, and soon the squirrel was no more. Chapter 96: The Long-Awaited Departure Qaeron made his way back to the door that everyone had descended into and soon heard Plagiarize banging on it. ¡°Mmm, the bear¡¯s friends want to be let out, yez?¡± asked Qaeron. ¡°Yes, that would be greatly appreciated,¡± replied Plagiarize. ¡°We can¡¯t open it. You may have to eat some corn to do so.¡± The bear, after realizing that he could not lift the door due to the fact that it was perfectly flush with the floor of the pyramid, ate a couple of cobs of corn from the ground. All the corn plants were wrecked from the squirrel¡¯s beam of justice. The door soon found itself opening. Mushpuff, Bird, Plagiarize, Snorter, Hoofa, Klumpkrump, and Chris all ascended the few remaining steps and exited the depths of the pyramid¡¯s interior. The door slammed shut behind them. ¡°Qaeron, what happened to the squirrel, yo?¡± asked Bird. ¡°Mmmm, the zquirrel tried to ezcape, yez?¡± said Qaeron. ¡°And, hmmm, he tried to kill a bear with the cube! Mmm, thiz made a bear zad, yez, and he killed him.¡± ¡°You killed him??¡± ¡°Yez.¡± ¡°Hey, what happened to the jungle?¡± asked Chris, referring to the jungle which used to be there but was now burnt to a crisp. ¡°Oh, yeah, I kinda accidentally lit it on fire,¡± explained Plagiarize. ¡°And then we all had to run from it. It was a whole ordeal.¡± ¡°Huh.¡± ¡°So can we have that treasure now?¡± asked Klumpkrump. ¡°Yes, I suppose so,¡± said Chris. ¡°And after that, I have a favor to ask.¡±Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author''s preferred platform and support their work! Everyone except for Qaeron and Chris then descended back down into the pyramid once again. Qaeron was left up top just in case anything went wrong. The treasure room of the pyramid contained almost nothing of note. It was mostly just gold coins, which are pretty nice but the gang had no way of taking them to the bears to make a deposit in the bank (they were still 79,900 Cat Credits in debt). There was merely one noteworthy item, and it was found by Klumpkrump. It was a dagger. A very nice dagger indeed. She tested her stabbing skills with it, and found it very satisfying to stab with. She then tested her throwing skills, and that was when something truly remarkable happened. The dagger, upon being thrown, went out only a certain distance before turning around midair and making its way back to Klumpkrump. Upon seeing that the dagger was returning, Klumpkrump screamed and ducked. The dagger flew past over her head, but then it started coming back again! Klumpkrump had no time to react and reflexively held her paw out to shield herself. The dagger landed in her paw by the handle and she was holding it once more. This dagger, it turned out, was the artifact of this planet that they had come looking for all along. It had the magical property of always coming back to whoever throws it and always landing safely in their hand without any amount of stabbage. ¡°Y¡¯all, this room is musty,¡± said Hoofa as everyone continued looking through the coins for any more cool things. ¡°Can we go soon?¡± ¡°Yes, I suppose so,¡± said Plagiarize, who, for the last 10 minutes, had been holding the Fire Gem above his head to shoot fire into the air to make light. It was getting very tiring. And so, with dagger in tow, everyone made their way back up the steps to the now-closed-but-soon-not-closed door, opened by Qaeron and Chris eating some more corn. ¡°We found this cool dagger,¡± said Klumpkrump, showcasing its boomeranging properties. ¡°But we¡¯re leaving the rest of the treasure down there for now.¡± ¡°So now what?¡± asked Snorter. ¡°The squirrel¡¯s ship is still broken.¡± ¡°Oy, I can repair that,¡± said Chrispybara. ¡°I only ask a small favor.¡± ¡°And what would that favor be, yo?¡± Bird asked inquisitively. ¡°I wanna be returned to my home planet.¡± ¡°Fair enough!¡± Chris, after going back down into the pyramid and grabbing some tools left behind by the capybara pirates, fixed up the hole in the squirrel¡¯s ship left behind by Mushpuff¡¯s lasers. Hoofa went and retrieved the Energy Cube and ship keys from the remains of the squirrel. Finally, everyone boarded the ship and Bird piloted it off the planet. Oh my god, they finally got off of that freaking planet. Yay. I never intended for them to be on that planet for so long, but oh well. Chapter 97: Bears and Bars ¡°Hello?¡± spoke the bear into the phone aboard the biggest and most important ship of the remaining fleet of bear ships after their fortress and planet were wrecked by the cows of the Cow Galaxy. ¡°Who is this?¡± ¡°It¡¯s me, DeBear,¡± said D. Bear D. Stroy Er, former leader of the Bearmy until his untimely death. ¡°DeBear??¡± spoke the bear on the other end with great shock. ¡°As in, D. Bear D. Stroy Er? Former leader of the Bearmy until his untimely death?¡± ¡°Yes. Well, his robot clone, at least.¡± ¡°Ahhh, that makes a lot more sense.¡± ¡°This is the Bear President, yes?¡± ¡°Yearyo, Bear President, at your service! How did you escape the cows? And where are you now?¡± ¡°It¡¯s a long story. But I¡¯ve gained control of one of their ships, and it is currently stationed directly next to yours, hmmm?¡± ¡°Hmmm¡­¡± said Yearyo, looking at the radar scan of the surrounding area of space. ¡°How odd. I see it on the radar, but--¡± ¡°Yes, yes, the ship is cloaked, Yearyo. You can¡¯t see it in-bearson.¡± ¡°Cloaked!¡± squealed Yearyo, Bear President. ¡°But we don¡¯t have that advanced technology yet!!¡± ¡°Yearyo.¡± ¡°Yes, DeBear II?¡± ¡°I just told you. I hijacked a Cow Galaxy ship.¡± ¡°And how is that relevant?¡±If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. ¡°They have that technology.¡± ¡°What technology, DeBear?¡± ¡°Mmmm, forget it,¡± said DeBear II. ¡°I am going to uncloak the ship now, and I want you to let me in so we may have a meeting.¡± ¡°Very well,¡± said Yearyo. ¡°I will alert the bear in charge of letting people in. Which is, mmmm, me.¡± DeBear II hung up the phone, Yearyo alerted himself that he was to let DeBear in, and the following meeting determined the fate of a whole lot of stuff. Meanwhile, in the squirrel¡¯s ship, events were also occurring. It would have been surprising if they weren¡¯t, actually. They had just finished flying to Chris the capybara¡¯s home planet. ¡°So what¡¯s this place called, yo?¡± asked Bird. ¡°Earth,¡± said Chris. ¡°It kinda sucks, but it¡¯s home.¡± ¡°Earth¡­ why does that name sound familiar?¡± ¡°It sounds familiar to me, too!¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°But I can¡¯t recall where I¡¯ve heard it before.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve never heard of such a place,¡± said Snorter. ¡°Me neither,¡± said Klumpkrump, performing dangerous tricks with her new dagger. Everyone else aboard the ship was asleep and therefore could not comment on whether or not the name ¡°Earth¡± was familiar to them. Bird brought the ship down to the surface where Chris told him to. The doors opened and Chris was free to leave. ¡°Ay, would you like a gift?¡± the capybara asked Bird. ¡°That would be nice, yo,¡± said the bird named Bird. ¡°Take this laser gun, mate. I don¡¯t have any use for it anymore.¡± Chris, with a bit of difficulty, removed the laser gun strapped to his back and left it behind before unboarding the ship. Now there was only one artifact left to get, from one more planet. They had already acquired the Fire Gem, the Barrel Gun, the Yalmton and Balongus bracelets, and the Boomerang Blade (Klumpkrump¡¯s dagger). ¡°Say, all this adventuring is quite tiring,¡± said Mushpuff. ¡°We haven¡¯t had any breaks in a while.¡± ¡°What are you suggesting, yo?¡± asked Bird. ¡°A break.¡± Everyone else (those who were awake, at least) thought that was a marvelous idea. And so, instead of setting off towards the fifth and final planet, the Spacebar is where they went. What is the Spacebar, you ask? The Spacebar is a very popular place for space travelers to come and rest. It is a bar¡­ in space. Not only that, it also has rooms where one may stay the night (although, considering it¡¯s a bar in space, ¡°night¡± doesn¡¯t really exist).