ã€ŠTempered in the Force (Star Wars FF)ã€‹


 Prologue

    2005, England.

    "What did you think of the film?"

    Des turned his head to look at his dad before answering "It was good, I liked it.". He returned his attention back to staring out the window, watching the landscape pass by.

    Curious about the seeming lack of enthusiasm, his father asked "what was wrong with it?"

    Turning back Des thought about it for a second before answering "well, putting aside the whole dying of a broken heart nonsense, I''d say the problem was the ships. they looked awesome, sleek and stylish for sure. But they didn''t feel right" Des paused again trying to figure out how to put words to his feelings ¡°take the falcon right, that shi-"

    "You said the falcon was ugly" his dad interrupted with a little chuckle.

    "It is but that''s not the point, it felt...real, lived in. The falcon wasn''t just a ship it was a home, Han and Chewies home and there wasn''t any ship like that in the new movies", Des stopped there seeming to realise he was getting carried away "it just...made the ships feel less real to me" he turned back to the window, this time leaning his head against it feeling the small vibrations of the car.

    "You know work is making me use up my vacation days at the end of the month. Your mum''s already got me redecorating the kitchen but. If you give me a hand we could get it finished quicker and get working on the camper van. it doesn''t need that much to get it back on the road and we could have it ready for your summer break"

    Des smiled "you do realise that''s right in the middle of my exams?"

    "ditch em" his dad quipped

    he burst out laughing "I can''t, someone told me they were important" he gave a pointed look at his father to make it clear who that was before resting his head against the glass once more. "besides mum would be mad if we did that"

    "So I can count on your help in the kitchen then? seeing as you''re so worried about making your mum mad"

    Des thought about it, it would be nice to get to work on the camper with his dad but the tests this year feel different, more important, he knew his dad wasn''t serious about skipping them but he''d be lying if he said he wasn''t tempted

    he turned to say just that but the words died in an instant of sheer terror. He could see the car that was about to collide with them but his father was facing the wrong way. A shout to warn him began without any input from Des but it was too late. The last sensation Des felt before all turned to black was a bone shattering impact to his head.

    ***

    Des drifted.

    Pain saturated every inch of his body but he was unaware of this, he was unaware of everything. Conscious thought was a distant star far out of his reach. Existence to Des was a disjointed bundle of sensations crashing against the barely functioning remnants of his mind. Instinct and scar tissue tried its best to process what little made it through but if anything was gained from the attempt none could say.

    Des drifted and time passed.

    Whatever remained of him clung on. With the tenacity of a mindless beast the remnant of Des sunk its teeth into life itself and refused to let go. Year after year passed and he persisted yet none would call it living.

    Des drifted, time passed and the world moved on.

    ***

    Coming back to consciousness was like nothing he had ever experienced before. He did not wake up, instead he realised he was awake. It was as if he was dreaming and in this dream he was running, but in the way of dreams the running was all that existed. There was no landscape, no road and no destination, only the running. Then realising in the middle of a stride that this is not a dream I am actually awake and running.

    Des wasn¡¯t running. When he realised he was awake he seemed to be in the middle of a conversation with someone or something yet he could perceive nothing but blackness. He started to think back trying to recall the conversation only to be brought to his knees by the waterfall of memories cascading through him.

    Images, sounds and sensations slowly formed into semi coherent memories outlining the horrifying knowledge of just what had happened to him. The truth of it was too much. For a time he just didn¡¯t think, to think would be to acknowledge it, to make it real, to make it Final. He held onto his blank state of mind for as long as he could but eventually he had to face it.

    ¡®Fifty. Seven. years.¡¯

    That¡¯s how long he was that drooling¡­pile of meat. Unable to move, to think, to do anything at all. A ghost of a ghost trapped in a still living corpse persisting despite its own best interests. His whole life gone and he didn¡¯t get to do anything, the grief he felt for the life he never lived burned inside him but it was put aside for now as another grief rose within his thoughts

    Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

    ¡®Mum, Dad¡¯ his newly remade memories were not clear as to the fates of his parents, he had images of his mother, older than he remembers and clearly beaten down by life but there was nothing of his father. The last memory of him was that last car ride.

    ¡®I think he must have died in the crash¡¯ that was the conclusion Des reached while dwelling on his fathers absence. He decided all things considered that that was probably a better fate than he himself had suffered and possibly better than what his mother had endured. Based on the memories she had been the one to take care of him. She fed him, bathed him, wiped his arse, always by his side growing older and more broken the further he moves along in the memories until she¡¯s just gone and a stranger takes her place. Though he does not know this new woman in his memories a name comes with her ¡®Susan¡¯ and along with the name comes shocking knowledge.

    ¡®She killed me¡¯ the thought ground his mind to a halt, stuttering back to himself, he didn¡¯t know whether to laugh and praise her for what she¡¯d done or curse her to the depths of hell.

    ¡®Wait she killed me¡­I¡¯m dead¡¯ amongst all the revelations he was experiencing this one shocked him less than it should have. It was as if part of him had been already aware of this and dealing with it for some time. Still that begged the question ¡®if I¡¯m dead then where am I?¡¯

    His focus turned outward for the first time since he had regained his ability to think and he once again perceived nothing but blackness. Come to think of it, it was utterly silent as well. He cycled through his remaining senses seeking any form of input but there was none, he was in complete sensory isolation.

    Des thought back to when he had first come too, remembering that sense of having been talking to someone, he pulled at it, trying to shake something loose from his stitched together mind.

    There was definitely something there, a memory that had no context and didn¡¯t make any sense.

    ¡®2000 Karma Remaining. Choose¡¯

    As he considered what it could mean he felt the thought resonate, it was as if every time he thought the word choose something external thought it along with him. A shiver ran through him at the sensation but with nothing else to focus on except the traumatic memories of ¡®Vegetable Des¡¯ what else was he going to do but push on.

    ¡®Choose, but Choose what?¡¯ At that thought a shadow of the memory waterfall from earlier recurred but it was significantly different, lesser and like the resonance he felt to the word choose earlier also external in nature. Now Des knew what he had to choose but he also knew he was missing some serious context. ¡®Choose Tertiary Powers¡¯ while that made sense in and of itself, it was clearly part of something larger that he was unaware of. He needed to understand what was going on. He needed answers and something had already given him one.

    For an unknown length of time Des tried asking every question that came to mind, question followed by question but nothing provoked a response no matter how long he tried. Just to make sure he hadn¡¯t imagined it he thought the word choose yet again and yes there was that feeling, it was directionless but distinct enough that he was sure he was not mistaken.

    ¡®I think choose and it responds, earlier I wondered what I was to choose and got an answer. So what are my choices?¡¯ again the knowledge was somehow pushed directly into his mind and this time it was a sea of endless options.

    Des groaned internally as the scale of the overwhelming selection registered in his mind but before he could even begin to despair at that a second much smaller dump of knowledge caught his attention.

    ¡®Selections Made, All Karma Spent¡¯

    Along with that bit of info came the knowledge of the four choices he was sure he had not made. He tried to examine the new information within himself but he got very little before it began sinking into the untouchable reaches of his subconscious.

    Frustration swelled within Des, everything had happened so fast just now. ¡®This is bullshit¡¯ he thought, not only had these choices been made for him but almost every detail about them had been taken too. All he got in that brief moment was the name of two of them ¡°Meditation¡± and ¡°Inventory¡± and the fact that the Inventory grows with age.

    Where was he? Why is he here? Why is he choosing powers? If he chose tertiary powers does that mean he has other powers? All these questions and more weighed on Des mixing with his frustration and grief. He knew he wasn¡¯t going to get any answers, everything that had happened since he¡¯d realised he was awake and thinking again told him that he wasn¡¯t getting them. He wanted this, whatever it was to be finished, he wanted it done.

    Once more his mind took in new knowledge from someone or something unknown and Des felt a tired smile break through his growing emotions.

    ¡®Are You Ready?¡¯

    With this he knew he was finished here. He only had to think his agreement and whatever came next would come. Heaven, hell, rebirth or maybe something he could not begin to imagine. Whatever it was he hoped it would be better than this increasingly creepy void.

    ¡®Des very deliberately thought the word Yes

    In an instant he went from sensory deprivation to overload, His sight was blinded, his hearing drowned out and there was pain. A headache already beyond his ability to handle continued to blossom and grow and the scream that tore out from him was the last he knew before consciousness fled him.

    ***

    Waking up the usual way might have been reassuring to Des had he not had his focus squarely on the lingering headache, it was bad but he gritted his teeth and tried to open his eyes. The light acted as an amplifier to the pain, His hands went to his head and he squeezed his eyelids back together.

    Des focused on his breathing and rubbed his temples in an attempt to lessen the pain. After what could only have been twenty seconds but felt much longer, the pain receded to its previous level. He dared not reopen his eyes but he could listen.

    There was nothing loud or obvious, just soft indistinct noises. He thought he must be indoors given the lack of wind or other natural sounds. Also he was lying on something soft, possibly a bed, so it seemed like a safe assumption.

    A soft swish followed by gentle footsteps caused him to turn his head and open his eyes, again the pain surged and he clamped them shut but it was fractionaly better than last time.

    A hand was on his shoulder and he felt something press against his neck before a cool sensation washed over him bringing some relief from the pain.

    ¡°There, how does that feel?¡± a warm feminine voice inquired.

    ¡°Better.¡± the headache was steadily simmering down ¡°where am I? What happened?¡±

    ¡°Be at peace little one¡± She squeezed his shoulder in a reassuring manner and continued ¡°you are in the medical wing, you¡¯re safe. You had a seizure, do you know what that means?

    Des responded in the affirmative but found it an odd question. Before he could dwell on that thought she continued.

    ¡°You were found shortly afterward and brought here where you have been recovering nicely. I¡¯m guessing from these readings you have a very sore head but that should pass soon. You should be ok to open your eyes now¡±

    He did so cautiously. The too bright light was all he could see at first but there was no surge of pain and as his eyes adjusted he began to take in his surroundings and the middle aged woman standing at his side before moving down to himself.

    He was small. He had not noticed any difference in how his body felt so seeing the obvious changes from what he remembered was jarring.

    ¡°Are you ok?¡± she asked, seeming to sense his distress.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Des replied while continuing to look over his reduced form, how could he explain his reaction, even if he was willing to tell her everything that had happened to him, what would he say, he didn¡¯t understand it himself. The look of concern on her face was compelling, he needed to say something but nothing was coming to mind. ¡®Better to say nothing for now¡¯ he thought ¡®at least till I know more¡¯,

    An awkward silence stretched but Des held quiet, he deliberately kept his eyes on himself so as to not give away anything more. ¡°How long will I be in here?¡± he asked, attempting to shift her attention.

    She smiled at him before checking a pad-like device that detached from her waist. ¡°Well, you are recovering quickly, at this rate a few hours i¡¯d say but i¡¯d like to ask you some questions just to be sure there is nothing wrong I can''t see. What''s your name?¡±

    ¡°Desmond Cane¡± She asked it in such a casual manner his answer was more reflex than anything else. He noticed a slight creasing of her brow but he got an odd feeling that he should not worry about it.

    ¡°And where are we?¡±

    The first thought that came was the medical wing, she had said that earlier but a much broader answer came with it that simply could not be correct. It was too ridiculous, so he gave her his first answer and hoped it would be enough.

    It was not.

    As she stared at him, her eyes seemed to demand that he say the words that were in his head. With a tone of finality he spoke the words that would surely condemn him as crazy.

    ¡°Jedi Temple, Coruscant¡±

 Chapter 1

    Des was alone, he had answered every question despite the turmoil he felt inside. It was obvious that he was unsettled, but he insisted he was fine, and in the end she left. He was still stuck on where he was, ¡®The Jedi Temple, Coruscant¡¯. She had just nodded and moved on. It was the correct answer but, how could that be? ¡®is this a reward, a punishment, a delusion¡¯ Des wondered but no, he could remember dying, this had to be real, there was no point doubting it, that way would lead to madness.

    Having firmed his resolve Des began to consider his position. What would he do? One thing he had gotten from his interrogation was his age. He had been asked how old he was and answered four, given his new size that seemed accurate. He was young, in body at least if not mind. He wasn¡¯t sure how mentally old he was ¡®am I fourteen,seventy one, or somewhere inbetween?¡¯ how would he even judge that?

    Given his renewed youth, Des thought his future would primarily be schooling but he was not sure what that schooling might look like for a jedi. That thought brought him up short, with a newly born sense of excitement and a steadily widening smile Des thought ¡®am I going to be a Jedi, Wait¡¯, he thought back, he thought of the blackness, that void between lifes and remembered. He had chosen powers there, or something had, ¡®were those Force powers?¡¯ he considered it, ¡®meditation fits but inventory? That sounds like something out of a video game¡¯

    Part of him wanted to start experimenting right now, to try to figure out just what he was capable of but here in the medical wing might not be the wisest move. Deciding to wait till he was alone he went back to the question of what his future would look like. The problem was he just didn¡¯t have enough information and what he did have might not be accurate, it came from movies after all.

    ¡®What I need is internet access, there¡¯s got to be something like that here right? This is a high tech world after all, so high tech in fact that the whole planet is a city. And then there¡¯s the library, It¡¯s supposed to have everything there is to know in it¡¯

    Having made a plan or the outline of one at least Des settled in to wait. His headache was gone and he felt perfectly fine now. Just a few hours to wait and he could start figuring things out..

    ***

    Des was in his room now, the medical wing had held him for two hours before feeding him and sending him on his way. It was only after his footsteps had brought him here that he questioned how he knew where he had been going. As best as he could tell he had memories of this place going back a year, possibly more. Before that all he could get was an image of a building made with sandstone bricks. These memories didn¡¯t feel foreign, more like trying to remember something from early childhood.

    He took in his room, it was rather small and spartan. A single bed far larger than it needed to be and a desk and chair combo. With a little exploration he found a closet and bathroom but the prize was a small tablet computer that his memories named a holopad. It was in his hands and powered up in moments.

    Within five minutes he knew he would not find what he was looking for, the problem was that the holopad was age restricted. All he had access to was some kind of learning software and games designed for four year olds. If what he wanted was in here he was not going to find it now.

    ¡®Defeated by a child lock¡¯ Des laughed to himself and put the holopad down. He considered the library but there was no memory springing forth to guide his path. Seeing nothing more he could do for now he moved onto the next item on his checklist: his powers.

    ¡®Ok meditation seems obvious, I hope. Inventory though¡¯ pondering on this Des reached out and picked up the holopad once more. He thought ¡®Inventory¡¯ but nothing happened, he tried ¡®Store¡¯ again nothing, ¡®Store in Inventory¡¯ still nothing. After trying every voice command he could think of both spoken out loud and within his own head he moved onto different forms of visualisation.

    There was a small pop as the holopad disappeared, what worked in the end was a desire to pull it within himself. He could see the pad in his minds eye, a perfect visualisation of not just the outside but everything within. Crystals, wires and circuitry along with other things he could not identify formed a pattern that itched at something within him.

    Disliking the sensation he pushed the image away and obediently it moved to somewhere outside his perception. He could not feel it or sense it but he knew it was still there, safe and sound ready to be recalled the instant he wanted it. Without needing to visualise the holopad he pulled it back to his hand. A second pop echoed in his room as the pad reappeared and Des smiled at his success.

    He would need to test the limits of this, how much can he hold? Does weight matter and is there a limit to how many things he can hold? It all needed to be tested but for now Des was happy with his progress.

    ¡®Onto Meditation then¡¯ He thought. His first instinct was to go for a lotus position but his new found youth did not grant him new found flexibility. Switching to a more comfortable Cross legged position he straightened his back, closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind.This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

    It was automatic. With the slightest of efforts Des sank deep, his sense of his body was a distant thing barely noticeable and completely overshadowed by the force. It was everything, everywhere and everyone. Des could practically hear the words of Obi Wan. ¡°The force is what gives a jedi his power, it¡¯s an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us, it penetrates us, it binds the galaxy together.¡± those were probably as close as words can come to describing the indescribable,

    Des was not currently concerned with describing the force, he was too busy experiencing it. A sense of peace washed through him, he could feel all his negative emotions being tugged loose and floating off into the force. He was finally able to relax, truly relax.

    Deep within meditation Des lost track of time, the peace he was experiencing was a soothing balm he desperately needed. The car crash, the brain damage and fifty seven years a vegetable, then waking up in that void only to then wake up on Coruscant. It was a lot.

    Des felt something push against his shoulder. He pulled himself from the depths of the force and opened his eyes, only to be met with his first alien.

    A grey skinned twi''lek man was crouched in front of him and Des knew him or at least knew who he was. From his new memories of the temple, he was Knight Casin. He was one of the newly raised knights that watched over the younglings. Before he could say anything though the twi¡¯lek spoke

    ¡°Who taught you to do that little one?¡±

    The surprise of meeting his first alien slowed Des¡¯s response. when his mind caught up with the present he answered with full honesty ¡°no one taught me.¡±

    The twi¡¯leks brow crease momentarily before he continued speaking ¡°what you did was potentially dangerous little one, promise  me you won¡¯t try that again without guidance¡±

    Des was confused ¡®how could meditation be dangerous?¡¯

    As if reading the question from Des¡¯s mind the jedi answered ¡°you were deep in meditation, very deep. Deeper than I¡¯ve seen any but the masters go. It is possible to lose oneself if not adequately trained and prepared for such depths¡±. The man seemed dissatisfied with Des¡¯s lack of reaction to the danger so he continued ¡°Tell me, how long were you meditating little one?¡±.

    Des considered it for a moment before answering ¡°Two hours, maybe three¡±

    ¡°By my guess you¡¯ve been at it for approximately seventeen hours¡±

    Des¡¯s jaw dropped, ¡®seventeen, no that can¡¯t be right. How?¡¯.

    ¡°You see the danger now? Others have died of thirst or hunger in the past and as I said it is possible to lose oneself within the force.¡± The Twi¡¯lek squeezed his shoulder as if to emphasise the importance of his words. ¡°Now, you have missed the morning meal but if you leave now you will still be on time for your first class, do you know your way?¡±

    Des thought about it, no directions or rooms sprang to mind so he shook his head.

    The jedi reached out for the holopad, he tapped it a few times before a holographic arrow sprung to life. It hovered just above the screen and was pointing at the door to Des¡¯s room.

    As the Jedi handed the pad he smiled warmly and said ¡°There, that will guide your path. Now get washed up and get going little one or you shall miss your first class for the second time¡±

    ***

    Des walked through the door the holopad had led him to, the room inside was rather unremarkable, it was boxy and utilitarian, just like any other building might have. He was a little disappointed. In the middle sat what could only be his class. There were around 12 fellow initiates and a young woman with dark hair, presumably the teacher. She was tall from his perspective but that was to be expected.

    Having noticed him as he entered she was already approaching, as she drew close she welcomed him saying ¡°Hello little one, I trust you are feeling better?¡±.

    ¡°Ah, yes thank you¡± he pause unsure how to address her

    She did not notice his uncertainty and carried on speaking ¡°Good, then we shall get you started. I see you remembered your holopad that is good¡± she held her hand out to receive the device and Des passed it to her. Much like Knight Casin she rapidly tapped the pad a few times before handing it back to him.

    ¡°Take a seat, follow the instructions from the holopad and let me know if you have any problems¡± as the teacher talked she led him to an empty cushion and indicated he should sit down. He did so and she left, returning to her seat.

    ¡®Huh, not how I expected this to go.¡¯ he examined the screen, it had simple lettering displayed. As he tapped each letter the holopad made the corresponding sound and he understood.

    ¡®This is schooling for four year olds. Even Jedi need to learn the basics¡¯. It was obvious in hindsight and he felt foolish for not seeing it but his thoughts had centred on the force and lightsabers. ¡®This is going to suck but at least it won''t be difficult, just boring¡¯ with that in mind Des got to work.

    He was right. It was boring, but he easily moved from the alphabet to simple words, then on to basic maths. Each time he finished a section the holopad presented him with the next.

    One by one he worked his way through them until a message popped up warning him of the imminent midday meal.

    Seeing the others all getting up Des got to his feet and moved to follow them but was stopped short by the teacher. ¡°A Moment please little one¡± she said as she moved in front of him. ¡°Has someone been tutoring you?¡± she questioned and Des knew he had screwed up.

    ¡®How would a four year old who has never attended school manage what he had done?¡¯ he should have been weeks working on the alphabet alone. ¡®Fuck!, what do I say?¡¯

    Des racked his mind trying to come up with an explanation that made any sense but as she stared down at him and the moment stretched on he had nothing, so he played dumb.

    ¡°No, was I supposed to have a tutor?¡± he tried, offering a slightly confused expression to try to sell it. A strange impulse caused him to add ¡°Am I very far behind the others?¡±

    She was staring at him, He wasn¡¯t sure if she had bought it or not but he was not going to say anymore. He had dug this hole deep enough as it is.

    ¡°No, you are not behind the others¡± she finally responded.

    Des couldn¡¯t begin to guess what she was thinking, so he waited for more but nothing came, eventually he asked ¡°is that everything?¡±

    ¡°Yes, you may go¡± she answered, though something in the tone of her voice told him that he had gained her attention, whether that was a good or bad thing he did not know..

    Des walked towards the door careful to not rush or show any discomfort. As the doors slid shut behind him he considered his screw up and one word came again to his mind.

    ¡°Fuck!¡±

 Chapter 2

    Lunch was uneventful. While eating he continued to consider his slip up and decided it would be best to carry on as he had begun. If he tried to slow his progress now he wouldn¡¯t just be standing out, no they would think he was trying to deceive them. In a way he was deceiving them, but he didn¡¯t dwell on that.

    Before long he was following the initiates back to the same classroom. Again he was working his way through lessons intended for children howeverThis time he was being watched more closely than he would like. The teacher was discrete but Des could almost feel her interest in him. To avoid her attention he focused wholly on his holopad, trying to exclude the rest of the world. Before he knew it he had another notification telling him the class was at an end.

    Getting to his feet he once more tried to move with indifference. To what extent he succeeded he had no idea but this time he was not stopped before making his exit. He made his way back to his room, though he was not entirely sure what he would do when he got there.

    He had no intention of losing most of a day again to meditation, so that was out. He could try socialising but the idea of hanging around a bunch of kids so close to infancy did not appeal to him. He still needed to test his inventory limits and try to figure out what other powers he might have.

    Upon reaching his room Des¡¯s experimentation began. With a few items of clothing from his closet he soon found his first limit, he could hold a maximum of four items at a time. The size of the items did not seem to make any difference to how much he could hold. He had few belongings to test with and nothing big enough to find the size limits of his inventory.

    Unlike last time, there were no itching sensations when viewing the articles of clothing within his mind. He put this down to the relative simplicity of the clothing compared to his holopad, the clothes were just fibres after all. The one annoyance was the audible pop made everytime he moved something in or out of his inventory, that could be an issue.

    All that testing only took a few minutes, without the means to test his inventory more he moved on to his unknown powers. No strange or unexpected feeling stood out to him, he couldn¡¯t even feel the force, that had left him when he came out of his meditation.

    With no clear path forward Des considered what he did know, ¡®I got four tertiary powers, two I know, two I don¡¯t. I felt the force when I meditated so I must have access to it, I just can¡¯t feel it now¡¯.

    The only thing that made sense to him was he needed the force active within him to access the rest of what he could do. Fortunately he was in the one place sure to be able to teach him that. The thought brought a smile to his face.

    Moving on Des turned to what was fast becoming his lifeline, his holopad. He had paid little attention to the educational software when he had first examined it, that had been a small mistake. Within it was a class schedule, which Des noted made no mention of force training or lightsabers. There was also the mapping feature Knight Casin had used and some basic utilities like a stopwatch and calculator. Though not much, it might be helpful.

    The library was not mentioned within his map, it covered a relatively small area. If Des had to guess he would say the map covered the daycare section of the temple. Based on that alone he figured exploring was probably discouraged, but if he did go poking around he would at least be able to find his way back.

    With an hour or so to kill before last meal Des decided ¡®if I grind through all this kiddy material as fast as I can, then they might move me onto the good stuff¡¯. Images of lightsaber battles and throwing objects around with the force danced through his mind. With a new sense of urgency Des dove into his work determined to get through it as fast as he could.

    ***

    Intention became routine, days began to pass as Des moved from class to meal to his room and then back again. It was at the end of his second week when something unexpected happened. He had returned to his room to find someone waiting for him. From his temple memories this was Knight Yule, the Jedi who had found and brought him here. Yule had regularly checked in on Des ever since, asking after his well being.

    ¡°Knight Yule¡± Des greeted the Jedi with surprise, quickly considering the reasons why he might be here. ¡®Is this a regular visit or have I prompted this¡¯, the mans face gave no clues Des could read.

    ¡°Hello Des. Please, take a seat¡± Yule instructed without inflection or tone.

    Des moved to the bed and sat down, he remained silent and waited for Yule to begin.

    ¡°I trust you have fully recovered from your trip to the medical wing?¡± The question was not what Des had been expecting, it was pleasant to have someone ask how he was. Des nodded his confirmation waiting for more.

    Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

    ¡°While you were there you gave the healer your name¡± he paused, seeming to look for a response or reaction but Des didn''t see what the man was getting at. Why would his name matter?

    ¡°What else have you remembered?¡±

    There was a moment of panic within Des, ¡®He can¡¯t mean my first life, can he?¡¯ Des didn¡¯t think so. ¡® So what is he looking for¡¯

    ¡°Remember about what, sir¡±

    ¡°The attack, your parents, your life before I found you on Dantooine. Anything?¡±

    The unexpected question brought Des up short, ¡®attack, what attack¡¯ he wondered. As for his parents, the only ones he could recall were from his life on earth. This line of questioning had opened him to thoughts he had not yet considered. ¡®I did not just materialise here, I was reborn here, I had parents I can¡¯t remember. Wait, why do I look the same then? If I had new parents shouldn¡¯t I look like them?¡¯ he had seen his reflection and paid it little mind. It was him, much younger yes but still him. Same face, same brown hair and same blue eyes. He pushed at the memories, looking for any sign of the people who had borne him into this world. He got a brief flash of his earth parents wearing hardy rough spun clothing which were out of place on earth but fit this universe perfectly. Had his parents been reborn here as well?

    A cough brought Des out of his thoughts. Knight yule was watching him, waiting.

    ¡°I don¡¯t remember any attack sir¡± Des began. He was hesitant to speak of his parents but an odd feeling seemed to be encouraging him to continue, so he did. ¡°I remember my parents yes, but not my life before the temple¡±

    There was no change in Yules'' expression but Des got the feeling he was disappointed. Deciding to ask his own question Des spoke ¡°what happened To my parents sir? How did I end up here?¡±

    For the first time an expression broke out on the Jedi''s face. Des could not place it, was it sadness, anger, hope? He waited, while the answer would not change his situation, a part of him wanted to know.

    ¡°You truly have awoken.¡± seeing the confusion his statement had brought to Des, Yule elaborated ¡°You¡¯ve changed, before you were¡± he paused, seeming to seek the appropriate words, ¡°less. You had withdrawn inward, you barely spoke. The healers said you just needed time but I worried for you¡±. The way he said it it almost sounded like an admission of guilt.

    ¡°I see¡±. Des paused, ¡°and my parents? This attack?¡±

    The Jedi seemed to deliberate before answering. ¡°Your home, it was raided. They killed everyone in the settlement. When my master and I arrived you were the only one we found alive. I¡¯m sorry for your loss Des¡±

    Des had already lost his parents, the grief while still present had greatly dulled. With everything that had happened to him since he first realised they were gone, it felt far more distant than perhaps it should. This news didn¡¯t change anything for Des but there was one question he still wanted answered.

    ¡°Who did it?¡±

    The expression on the Jedi¡¯s face this time was crystal clear. Disappointment. That had been the wrong question to ask but Des wanted an answer. He tried to hold his ground. He tried to make his resolve clear. In the end Yule conceded.

    He seem to sigh internally before answering ¡°it was the Sith¡±

    The answer took Des¡¯s mind on a journey, there was something in the way he had said ¡®the Sith¡¯ that was ringing alarm bells within. The sith were worthy of alarm bells in and of themselves but there was something else. He had said it as if the sith were something he was acustem to, a well established and known threat. Not a threat long gone or newly discovered but instead familiar. Disparate thoughts coalesced into a question.

    ¡®When am I?¡¯

    How had he not considered when he was, where he had been dumped in the timeline. It should have been one of his first questions. He hadn¡¯t even thought about it, was this some remnant of the brain damage. Was he becoming a moron?

    Misreading Des¡¯s fear, knight Yule placed a hand on his shoulder and said ¡°do not be afraid Des, you are safe on Coruscant, the sith, they are far from here.¡±

    Des feigned a weak smile, he felt the need for information more keenly than ever. Seeing an opportunity, Des decided to ask, ¡°Knight Yule, is there a public network I could access with my holopad? I have questions, things I¡¯d like to know that are not in any of my lessons¡±. He would have asked his teacher this but she had creeped him out since day one.

    ¡°There is, but it''s not usual for one so young to have access¡±. Though it did not show in any visible way Des got the sense the Jedi was wrestling with a decision. ¡±I was informed that you are doing rather well at your lessons. May I?¡± he reached out indicating the holopad still in Des¡¯s hand, Des handed the device off curious to see what he would do.

    Yules fingers dance across the holopad, pausing occasionally while the Jedi read. At one point his eyebrows shot up and he looked right at Des as if seeing him anew, He said nothing though and continued his task. Before he was done he looked once more at Des then punched out a final series of taps before handing the pad back.

    ¡°There, you have basic holonet access. I will be leaving the temple in a few days and am unsure when I will return. If you have questions you still can not answer before then seek me out. Beyond that I would recommend the library, I arranged provisional access for you, so as long as you conduct yourself well you should find all you seek¡±. The Jedi seemed to deliberate before adding ¡°I fear dark times are ahead Des. Study hard and may the force be with you¡±.

    He was up and out of the door before Des could truly register what he had said.

    ¡®Dark times¡¯, Des did not like the sound of that but he was safe here on Coruscant right? He was in the Jedi temple, where could be safer? Images of Anakin slaughtering younglings flashed through his mind. He pushed that aside thinking ¡®Damn Jedi has a flair for the dramatics¡¯.

    ***

    It was later that night and Des was still lying in bed mulling over what he had found. The first thing he had checked was the date, it was the year 2530 ATC, which meant after the Treaty of Coruscant. The problem was that that was just a number and meant absolutely nothing to Des. He next tried searching for characters from the movies hoping that would at least tell him if he was before or after that time. None of the names he tried worked, not even Yoda. That at least made him think he was in the past. He reasoned that if he was in a time after the events of the movies then those that were involved would be famous. Or at least there would be some record of them. No he was in the past, he was sure of it but how far back?

    ¡®Yoda was what, nine hundred years old, and there¡¯s no mention of him so I''m probably before even his time?¡¯ Realising this Des decided it wasn¡¯t important. If he was so far removed from the events of the movies then when he was really didn¡¯t matter.

    He had then moved to the state of the galaxy, he trawled through news sites and gossip slowly piecing together a picture of the galaxy he now called home. It was not dissimilar to the galaxy of the prequels, the republic controlled most of the core and middle rim. The outer rim was mostly lawless with a significant Hutt presence. The main difference was the Sith. In the movies there had been two, here, if he was reading between the lines correctly there were hundreds, possibly thousands. They held power over portions of the outer rim, small portions yes but their influence seemed to be growing.

    Des wondered if this was what Knight Yule had been alluding to with his talk of ¡®Dark Times¡¯.

    As he lay in bed, one thought dominated his mind. ¡®This galaxy is far more dangerous than the one I knew¡¯.

 Chapter 3

    Having lost a significant portion of the nights sleep Des moved through the next day mostly on autopilot. He had gotten his answers but what would he do with them? What could he do? His mind dwelled on the problem.

    By the time he sat alone in his room he had come to the conclusion.¡®He could do nothing¡¯. It had occurred to him that He was a child. One with extra knowledge and experience perhaps but still a child. His manner of entrance to this universe, combined with where he was, had made him feel like he had some sort of obligation but, no. The galaxy''s problems were not his to solve, nor did he want them to be. He had lost one life to an accident and he was not in a rush to repeat that feat.

    ¡®Never again¡¯ he thought as an image of himself as ¡®vegetable Des¡¯ ran through his mind.

    He considered meditating.The peace of the force would be welcome right now but he did not want to lose hours better spent. That combined with Knight Casins warning about losing himself within the Force was enough to prevent him.

    Instead he thought about all the things he was looking forward to. Lightsabers, spaceships, droids and blasters. He wanted to meet a Wookiee, to see Tatooine but most of all he wanted to learn to use the Force.

    He considered asking one of the Knights when he would start force training but he had a feeling that would be a mistake. He thought about the library, he doubted anything in there would allow him to start force training any earlier and had no other questions left for the archives to answer. The holonet had solved that issue.

    He still wished to visit but decided it could wait, he had a lot of boring schooling to get through and would need a distraction at some point down the line.

    ¡®Maybe I could visit a ship hanger too, they have to have one in the temple somewhere¡¯, he tried to recall if he had seen one in any of the movies but nothing came to mind. He quickly checked the mapping feature on his holopad with zero success.

    Defeated, he turned to the one task he knew he could do, more lessons. It wasn¡¯t flying starships or swinging lightsabers but that would come.

    Holding firm to his faith Des dove headfirst back into the grind.

    ***

    Days became weeks and weeks became months.

    Des was 3 months in when he started questioning his work ethic. He had been a hard worker in his first life, at least compared to his peers, but not to this degree. He wondered if this was one of the powers he had received. Like he had done before, he tried to search within himself for an answer, for some sense of a power or the force guiding him. He found nothing.

    He began to think this mindless determination had nothing to do with the Force Or strange powers. No something of this reminded Des of his first life, specifically his fifty seven years of brain damage. He had no proof, no evidence at all, yet he was sure. His time as ¡®Vegetable Des¡¯ had changed him. For now, it was a boon but he would be watching for any other changes.

    With a greater understanding of himself he returned to his grind.

    It was at the five month mark, half way through the year that things began to change. The  monitored self study sessions were at an end, the class were all trusted to carry on that aspect of their education independently. This seemed like a ridiculous amount of trust to place in four year olds to Des but he had to admit, these younglings were far better behaved than any four year old he had known. He also suspected that their work would continue to be monitored, only now it would be done so remotely.

    Replacing the old lessons were classes on philosophy, ethics, the jedi code and lastly meditation. Des was excited, he just had three classes to get through and he would begin his force training.

    Philosophy and ethics held no surprises for Des, while he had never specifically studied either, he had gained enough from pop culture for it to feel familiar. The first jedi code lesson on the other hand  had an unpleasant moment for Des. They had been learning the jedi mantra, when one of the other initiates had asked what ¡®Death, yet the force¡¯ meant. The jedi teaching them had said ¡°we jedi believe that when a person dies they join with and become part of the force¡±. Des had begun to laugh internally thinking on his reincarnation, ¡®that''s not what happened to me, I didn¡¯t die and join the forc-¡¯

    In the midst of the thought he realised, he had died and came here. Where there was the force, where he had felt it, where he was a part of it. From a certain point of view he had indeed died and joined the force.

    ¡®Does everyone come here?¡¯ he wondered. Images of his parents in rough spun clothing that had no place on earth once more swam through his minds eye.This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

    He accepted this as a possibility even if an unlikely one.

    Entering the class for meditation the next day, Des, for the first time felt a kinship with his fellow initiates. Clan Salamander, which was the class''s given name, was as excited to get started with the force as he was. Despite the fact that none were talking or in any way acting rowdy, their instructor still told them to ¡°settle down¡±. Des almost laughed out loud at that but he was able to contain himself as he sat with the others and waited.

    The instructor, a Rodian master by the name of Jenk, began to speak. ¡°Today you embark on a journey that will last you the rest of your life. meditation is the heart of what it means to be a Jedi. self discipline, knowledge and the force, the three pillars of a jedi¡¯s path. Through meditation you will learn all three. You will learn to control your thoughts and emotions. you will come to know and understand yourself. you will come to know the force and deepen your connection to it. From this day forth you will meditate a minimum of five times a day, however the wisest among you will not limit yourselves to just five sessions. Now, let us begin¡±

    The jedi master instructed them to close their eyes and repeat the mantra they had learned in yesterdays class. Des did so, just like before within moments he was deep within the force. He still recited the mantra but it, like his body, was a distant thing. His emotions drifted off, no longer of any concern to Des, all that mattered was the force.

    A hand on his shoulder brought him back. As he became aware of his surroundings again he realised the hand belonged to master Jenk and they were alone.

    ¡°You lost yourself a little there initiate. Dangerous¡±. Des could read nothing from his reptilian face but he didn¡¯t have to. Even putting aside the dangers he had been warned of, needing someone else to shake him out of it was, unacceptable. He would miss sleep, miss meals and what if he needed the toilet.

    ¡°What should I do?¡± he asked.

    The Rodian masters answer was quick, as if he had foreseen this problem. ¡°Begin by reciting the mantra out loud, then enter your meditative state. Try to use the vocalised mantra as an anchor with which to maintain awareness of your physical senses. Understood?¡±

    Des nodded and began reciting the mantra. On his second cycle he closed his eyes and effortlessly sunk into the force.

    He felt the hand pulling him back straight away. As he opened his eyes he sent a puzzled look towards the master.

    ¡°You stopped reciting the mantra. Again¡±.

    Des complied.

    His first attempts brought only failure, again and again he was pulled from his altered state by a light hand. Towards the end of the hour he had his first success. As he descended into the force a slight sense of harmony was able to hold a part of his attention. It was not an emotion and thus it did not slip away. From within the force he examined the feeling. He had a distant sense of himself still reciting the mantra, not only that but as he focused he could hear his own voice. The combination had created the anchor he needed to not lose himself. All that remained was to pull himself out.

    Just as easily as he had entered Des exited his trance. He opened his eyes and smiled up at master Jenk. Perhaps the master smiled back or maybe he frowned. Des had no way to know, all he said was ¡°again¡±.

    Undeterred, Des spoke the words of the jedi mantra once more then closed his eyes and began to meditate.

    The hand of failure brought him back as quickly as he had left.

    ¡°Again¡±.

    At the end of the second hour the master called an end to the one on one session. Des had had more successes but he was far from consistent, he had yet to achieve even a fifty percent success rate.

    ¡°You show improvement but there is much work to be done¡±, said master Jenk. ¡°until you can maintain your awareness you are not to meditate. I will arrange for my padawan to assist you until then¡±.

    Having clearly been dismissed Des said a quick ¡°Thank you, master¡± and left.

    using the Master title had felt good to Des, he felt connected in a way he had not previously. He had just had a lesson from a Jedi Master on the force. Sort of. Even with his issues Des was still having the best day he had had since he woke up here.

    His good mood carried him along as he walked back. Even the sight of three initiates waiting at the entrance to his room could not shake it. He slowed as he approached taking in the three.

    The Rodian girl stood out to Des having just had a lesson with master Jenk. her scales were much lighter than his, with a tinge of blue bordering on turquoise. Beside her was a human boy Des thought was named Jason and taking up the rear was an Ithorian that gave off a sense that he didn¡¯t want to be here. They were all from his class, clan salamander.

    Des was about to ask what they wanted but the girl spoke before he could.

    ¡°You were sleeping, Right?¡±

    Confused by the question Des was about to ask what she meant when the boy he thought was named Jason chastised her.

    ¡°Shofo! That was rude¡± he turned to Des ¡°sorry. We wanted to ask you about class earlier¡± he paused, seemingly unsure of what he was about to ask. Gathering his words he continued, ¡°Did you sense it?¡±

    Playing catch up within his mind Des pieced together what they were asking him.

    ¡°Yes, I sensed the force. No, I was not sleeping¡±. He expected the Rodian girl to argue given her question but she did not. They accepted his words easily, as if they had hoped that would be his answer.

    Des got a bad feeling he knew what their next question would be.

    ¡°What did it feel like?¡±

    Des was caught off guard, that had not been the question he had expected. He had been sure they were about to ask him for help or what his trick was. He considered what to tell them.

    Deciding to keep it simple he said ¡°peaceful, yet charged, like the moment before a race starts¡±. It utterly failed to capture the force but it would do for this.

    The boy Jason seemed to contemplate his words, the girl, for some reason Des got the sense she was pleased. As hard as she was to read, the Ithorian was even worse. He was yet to speak which disappointed Des a little, he was curious what someone with two mouths would sound like. Half a year in and he was still to hear it.

    ¡°Is that all you wanted?¡± Des asked before the silence could get awkward.

    ¡°Uh, yeh that''s everything.Thanks¡±.

    The three exchanged glances seeming to have a silent conversation before walking past Des and down the corridor he had come from. As they were going Des thought he heard the Rodian girl say ¡°told you¡± but he paid it little mind.

    Entering his room he decided to check his schedule for next week before he got to work. He wanted to see when the master had scheduled his meditation training with his padawan.

    It had all been changed again. This week''s classes were now on politics, diplomacy, history and the jedi code. On top of that there was now an hour of physical training each afternoon and the mandatory five meditation sessions, or meditation lessons  in Des¡¯s case. Not exactly what he had expected but he was happy for the help.

    He was going to have to find time for his normal studies too. Undeterred by the workload Des opened up the next lesson on his holopad and dived once more into his grind.

 Chapter 4

    It was early, before even breakfast. Des was on his way to his first meditation lesson with master Jenks padawan. His good mood still buoyed him along, lost in thoughts of spaceships and lightsabers he passed through the entrance to the classroom. It still struck him how un-jedi-like all the rooms were, in his mind every room should have been a feast to the eyes yet they were plain, utilitarian and boring.

    ¡°Hello little one¡±

    A familiar female voice brought Des from his musing, he knew that voice. He turned to the source already knowing who he would find and sure enough he was right. She had watched over many of his classes, he even knew her name but Des still thought of her as ¡®that creepy teacher from day one¡¯. In a world with Ithorians, flatworm-like humanoids with hammer head faces, this plain human woman creeped him out.

    ¡°Master Jenk has told me of your issue. Please, take a seat and we¡¯ll get started¡±. Her voice was warm and friendly as was her smile. If Des was being honest his feelings on this woman were unwarranted. That moment on his first day, when he had shown he knew more than he should have had left him feeling exposed. It was that feeling of having been caught with his pants down that caused his discomfort.

    Des sat, they began to repeat the exercise he had learned yesterday. Any discomfort he felt was washed away by the force allowing him to focus on his task. Again and again he embraced the energy field created by all living things. More often than not he was pulled back by a gentle hand, offered warm encouragement then sent back under.

    When the hour drew to an end Des was succeeding around four in ten times. A small improvement but it was consistent, if he could keep this rate up he would be able to maintain awareness in around two months. Maybe less.

    As he stood to leave the padawan spoke ¡°Not as bad as you expected¡±. She wore an amused smile while she waited for a response, clearly aware of the discomfort she caused in Des

    Des tried to think of a suitable response, nothing he could think of seemed reasonable so he defaulted to playing dumb, ¡°what do you mean?¡±

    Her Smile widened a touch and she replied ¡°it¡¯s not important. I will see you after your next class¡±.

    Having no desire to argue the dismissal, Des left. He considered this new development. ¡®If the price to advance is putting up with Miss Creepy, then it¡¯s a small price to pay¡¯.

    He made his way to his first meal, ate, then completed as many self study lessons as he could manage before making his way to history class. It was only a quick overview but Des was curious about the conflicts they mentioned. The instructor did not go into detail but the sacking of Coruscant caught Des¡¯s attention. He wondered how it had happened and if it could happen again.

    His second meditation lesson went no different than the first. Although he failed often, he never felt frustrated, the force wiped clean his emotions each time he touched it, leaving a calm, peaceful Des always ready for more.

    Midday meal came and went. Des found himself walking unfamiliar corridors as he made his way to physical training. The halls in this section were much larger than he was used to. The grey stone pillars and arches stretched far above, at least four stories high and wide enough that his entire class could walk side by side without a problem.

    He thought he was heading towards the centre of the temple.Though he would not have called it busy there was still a significant amount of traffic. Seeing all the jedi going about their business an oddity stood out to him. He had expected brown robes, that was the uniform. These Jedi however sported all manner of dress, brown robes were common but so was armour, along with what Des could only describe as civilian clothing. Now that he thought about it, knight Yule had been wearing armour during his visit. Des¡¯s  concern had been on other matters at the time so had not given it any thought. He was unsure if it was important but It was a difference between the jedi from the movies and the ones he currently walked amongst.

    He wondered at the implications of this discovery while he continued his walk, his path leading to a large open doorway outside. Looking out the first thing he saw was the central spire, it gave him pause. He craned his neck back trying in vain to see its top. Having failed, he brought his vision back to ground level, he was at the top of a complex stone staircase leading down into a sizable courtyard. He noticed others from his class, clan salamander assembling at the bottom and moved to join them. Navigating his way down he spotted a rather pretty tree, its foliage seemed to stretch beyond what should be possible.

    After joining his class he did not have to wait long. When the last of them arrived their instructor made his presence known, he then guided them on a short jog around the courtyard. This was followed with stretching, then light callisthenics before another, much longer jog circling the courtyard repeatedly. After that more stretching and a final circuit of the courtyard and they were done.

    It had not been as intense as he had expected, though from the looks on his fellow initiates'' faces they did not agree. Perhaps this was another advantage of his mental age, having years of experience the others lacked, the exercise was no hardship to him.

    The class was dismissed and the others began to leave, heading back the way they had come. With an hour till his next meditation lesson Des instead headed to the tree he had spotted earlier. He unclipped his holopad from his belt, intending to sit in the shade of the tree and continue his self study. There were no benches but that was fine.This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

    As he chose a spot to sit he noticed a stray leaf that had fallen. Seeing an opportunity he sat next to it and picked up the leaf then slipped it into his tunic. He had a test in mind he could use it for but not now, here was not the time or place.

    Des was about to begin his work when a voice stopped him short.

    ¡°What you gonna do with a leaf?¡±

    He looked up to see the Rodian girl from yesterday watching him. She was alone as far as he could tell, her friends nowhere in sight.

    Unperturbed by her question Des answered easily ¡°I just thought it was pretty¡±. Deciding to move her away from that topic he quickly followed up with a question of his own. ¡°Where are your friends?¡±

    She turned to look behind her, as if she was looking through the walls of the temple for them. Turning back she answered ¡°Krit and Jason went to get something to eat. Said they were hungry¡±. Having given her response she stood there and continued to watch him.

    Des waited for more but nothing came, trying to move things along he said.¡°Ok, why aren''t you with them?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not hungry.¡± The simplistic child logic defeated Des utterly, what could he say to that?

    ¡°Ok, well I was going to study'''' he waved his holopad at her as if to emphasise his point. She looked at it, seemed to contemplate for a few seconds then said ¡°ok¡±.

    Des nodded to her then turned to his holopad again intending to resume his study. In his periphery he watched, instead of leaving, she walked to his side, pulled out her own holopad and sat down.

    Given she wasn¡¯t actually doing anything or being annoying in any way, Des was content to let her be. He turned his focus back to his studies and began the next lesson.

    It was around twenty minutes later when she spoke again. ¡°What lesson is that?¡±

    Des pulled himself from his work to find her staring over his shoulder, her eyes were fixed on his holopad. Her antenna swayed conveying an emotion Des could not read.

    ¡°Algebra¡±, he said, he quickly realised she had no idea what he was talking about, so he elaborated. ¡°It¡¯s maths but with letters¡±, much like his explanation of the force, it was overly simplified. It was close enough for this though.

    ¡°Oh, I haven''t done that one yet, it looks hard¡±. Her innocent appraisal of his work brought a small smile to his lips.

    ¡°It is, but it¡¯s important,¡± he absentmindedly replied.

    There was a pause, then she asked ¡°Why?¡±

    Something in the way she asked, or maybe it was the look in her pupil less eyes told him she was not asking why the maths was important. No, what she was asking was why the work was so important. Why did he work so hard?

    He thought about his answer, ¡®what to say¡¯, he didn¡¯t have a single reason, no he had many.

    Knowledge was an advantage, in a galaxy that housed a small army of sith sworn to destroy all jedi, including him, he would take any advantage he could get. On top of that, In his last life he had died before he even had a chance to live. He was going to squeeze as much as he could out of this second turn. If he studied hard now that should give him future options and opportunities he might otherwise miss. He was reticent to admit it but it also gave him a sense of control over his life. When he first arrived in the temple he was lost, confused about what had happened to him and disbelieving of where he was. Losing himself in work had been a way to cope. Lastly, it was just, cool. who wouldn¡¯t want to learn everything they could if they woke up to a world of spaceships, lasers and droids.

    But what to tell her. He opted for a part of the truth. ¡°It¡¯s a dangerous galaxy out there, the more I know, the safer I¡¯ll be¡±.

    ¡°Wise words¡± said a voice. Des turned to see a familiar face.

    ¡°Knight Yule¡±, Des¡¯s surprise was clear, he had no idea the jedi was back within the temple.

    Though his face was familiar it was also changed. His blonde hair was shorn clean and as he closed the remaining distance between them Des noticed a scar running from his left eye, across his head towards the back of his scalp

    ¡°What happened?¡±

    ¡°What this¡±. He reached his hand up and ran it along the scar. ¡°It¡¯s nothing, just a scratch. Are your studies going well?¡±

    The change of topic was obvious, Yule didn¡¯t want to talk about his injury. Des put his curiosity aside, it really wasn¡¯t any of his business. Answering Yules'' question he said ¡°well enough sir¡±.

    A sound that might have been a laugh or a snort, possibly even  a snigger drew both their attention to the Rodian girl by Des¡¯s side.

    ¡°Hello little one, who might you be?¡± Yules voice carried a tone of amusement. Des was about to introduce them but the girl beat him to it.

    ¡°Initiate Shofo Avlon sir¡±. For the first time Des thought he sensed discomfort from her

    ¡°A pleasure to meet you Shofo, I am Jedi Knight Devin Yule¡±. He smiled reassuringly at her then turned back to Des. ¡°I¡¯m afraid I do not have long Des, my return was meant to be brief. A quick report to the council, then back to the fringe. It was only good fortune that I ran into you¡±, he paused for a moment, a flicker of something passing over his face. ¡°Have you remembered any more?¡±

    ¡°Apologies knight Yule, i have not¡±. A sense of guilt accompanied his admission, this was important, he had guessed that much yet he could give him nothing.

    His distress must have shown, Yule reassured him ¡°Don¡¯t worry, the galaxy won''t stop spinning because you don''t remember¡±. His smile was a touch weaker than the one he had given Shofo earlier. ¡°Anyway, my transport awaits. Train hard little ones and may the force be with you¡±.

    Once more he was gone before Des could truly register it. He stared off in the direction Yule had gone, running over the encounter in his mind. He could have made a greater effort to access the memories from before he woke up here. Trying to recall them was not like trying to remember something from a year ago. It was more like trying to remember something from a childhood more than seventy years ago. Somehow they seemed even further back than his first life on earth.

    ¡°He¡¯s scary¡±

    The statement brought Des out of his thoughts, he looked at the Rodian girl somewhat puzzled by her words. He was about to ask what she meant when it clicked. What Des had seen was an injured Yule, he reexamined the sight from a strangers eyes. The bald head, the armour and the scar combined into an imposing image. He could understand why she might find him scary.

    ¡°He¡¯s not. Well, no more than any jedi¡±.

    With that the conversation died, neither initiate had more to add so they returned to their lessons. Des worked but his mind was on Yule, the scar had been nasty. He tried to imagine what kind of weapon could have caused it. The way it curled around his head, it couldn¡¯t have been a lightsaber, or a blaster. ¡®Maybe some sort of curved blade¡¯ he wondered.

    His holopad warned him of his next class, rising he tried to excuse himself but when he explained his destination she just said ¡°me too, lets go¡±. It made sense, they all had mandatory meditation at the same time.

    The walk was over quickly, Des¡¯s mind was still on knight yule and Shofo didn¡¯t say much. When they reached the entrance to his class she simply said bye and left without another word.

    The rest of the day was uneventful. It wasn¡¯t until later that night, while undressing for bed, he removed his tunic and a golden leaf fell to the ground.

    He smiled as he reached down, picking up the leaf.

    ¡®ok, let''s see if I was right¡¯.

 Chapter 5

    The leaf had not decayed, not yet anyway. In the thirty days it had sat in Des¡¯s inventory there had been no change at all. It looked as fresh now as it did the day he had picked it up. When He compared it to the second leaf he had picked up a few days later the difference was obvious. That one was far from rotting away, however the signs of decay were undeniable. His inventory seemed to  preserve anything he put in it.

    Thirty days was a good start but it was not conclusive, maybe it preserved things indefinitely or maybe it just slowed the process down. He would keep the test going for now, he wasn¡¯t using any inventory slots for anything else.

    The soft swish of his door sliding open drew his attention, Shofos familiar antennad face crossing the threshold.

    ¡°You ready gramps?¡±

    He was still getting used to the nickname. He had been surprised when she had first used it, curious, he had asked why that name. Her response was simple, ¡°you¡¯re old¡±. Not wanting to pry at that particular can of worms he let it be.

    ¡°You sure you know the way?¡± In truth, he would risk it even if she wasn¡¯t sure, he was looking forward to this.

    She just nodded, waiting for him.

    He joined her at the door, looked around, then asked ¡°the others?¡±

    ¡°Ships are boring,¡± she shrugged.

    That was hard for Des to wrap his mind around, none of the others found spaceships exciting, or even interesting. It made a kind of sense, in his last life not everyone had found cars interesting. He had worked with his dad on their camper van, but that had been more about having it available than any great love for the vehicles.

    ¡°Are you sure you still want to do this?¡± If she was going to be bored the whole time Des would not force her to come. He would make sure she gave him directions though.

    ¡°If I get bored I can leave, besides this was my Idea¡±.

    That was true. Today was the second day of the festival of life, a five day celebration with parties, gifts and get-togethers. Initiates of course were free to celebrate so long as it was in their spare time. The previous night Shofo had convinced him to come watch the fireworks, while there she had asked if there was anything he wanted to do. His answer was spaceships, he wanted to see one up close. Shofo claimed she knew the location of one of the hangers, she could take him there. Now they were about to head out and Des was wasting time.

    ¡°Lead the way¡±

    She did. As they walked through the grey stone halls of the temple, Des tried to rain in his excitement. He knew they would not take an initiate for a joyride, still he couldn¡¯t help but imagine it. He tried to distract himself by thinking about today''s meditation. He had only failed four times, in the last session he hadn¡¯t failed once, he was getting close. Unfortunately he was also falling behind, talks with the others had revealed that while he had been working on his issue, they had been moving past him.

    Clan Salamander had begun with meditating in order to sense the force, then they moved onto Sensing the force outside of meditation. Now they were learning to control the force by moving small objects.

    Finding that out was a blow. Admittedly this was only true for the strongest, most of them were still in the earlier stages.

    Des wasn¡¯t worried, he would catch up. With his meditation power he knew the force, or knew the feel of it at least. He was certain he would sense it outside of meditation just as soon as he was allowed to meditate properly. No more dipping his toes in and out all the time.

    Emerging from that thought he noticed a change, the red carpets and grey stone halls had been replaced with brown carpets and grey stone halls. ¡®How am I supposed to learn my way around when everything looks the same¡¯ he lamented. He wondered at Shofos ability to navigate, ¡®maybe those antenna help somehow¡¯ he thought, he chose not to ask.

    Not having arrived at their destination yet, Des thought instead on his studies. They were getting harder, not difficult yet but he was actually having to think now. At this rate it would not be long till he caught up with his first life, then his advantage would be gone. He would still be more than a decade ahead but his rate of progress would return to a normal pace.

    He wasn¡¯t any smarter than before, if anything he worried he was dumber. He kept missing things that in hindsight should have been obvious. Like only collecting one leaf for his test, it had taken two days to occur to him that he needed a second for comparison.

    Not wanting to dwell on that he let his excitement for where he was going creep back in. A few minutes later they passed through a large set of double doors into a cylindrical room that Des realised was an elevator. Shofo moved to a control panel, examined it for a moment then punched in the command.

    As they began their ascent, Shofo, no longer focused on guiding them, asked a question that wasn¡¯t a question.

    ¡°the force?¡±

    Used to this kind of fractured question Des just replied ¡°yes?¡± He was good at understanding what she was asking, usually. This time however he was clueless.

    ¡°It''s big,¡± she paused. Des waited as she gathered her thoughts.¡±So big. Really really big, it just goes on and on, and on. How can it be so Big?¡±

    Des thought back to his first experience with the force, the sheer scale of it. A vastness beyond any sapient minds ability to comprehend, it should have been terrifying, sanity destroying even. All of that had drifted off into the force along with the rest of his emotions. For him it had not been a problem, consequently he had no insight to offer.You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

    ¡°You¡¯re right, its big¡± he started slowly, giving her time to digest each word and himself time to think. ¡°And powerful¡±. That too stood out in his memories from his one proper meditation session. ¡°But it¡¯s not evil, or bad¡±. There was a chime as the doors to the elevator swung open, Des paid it no mind. ¡°It doesn¡¯t want to hurt you¡±. That was true, so long as you don¡¯t count the darkside. ¡°It will help you, even with this¡±. It was the best he could come up with, trying to help a four year old through an existential crisis was not something he was equipped for.

    He kept his focus on Shofo, he would not be distracted by a hanger filled with ships right now. He waited while she worked her way through her thoughts. In the end she just nodded and moved to the exit, Des was hot on her heels.

    The space they entered was again rectangular and boxy but nothing about the sight was boring to Des. There were six bays on both the left side and right that ran the full length of the hanger, between them was a runway leading to the exit on the far end. Each bay was an open face room that shared its walls with its neighbours, running above them was a second floor that Des could easily see into, its glass panelled walls no barrier to sight.

    Des¡¯s eyes however were on the ships. Eight of the hangar bays were empty, four were not. The two on the right looked like cargo transports to Des. Both had enclosed cabs at the front attached by pole frames in a horizontal ladder like structure. Each strut of the ladder housed a good sized metallic box presumably for transporting cargo. They reminded Des of train cars but squashed together.

    The two on the left were smaller, both looked like single man craft. The first had a bullet like quality, its cylindrical body ending in a glass dome face that made Des think of world war two bombers. On each side of the body was a vestigial wing tipped with triangular plates that gave off a soft glow.

    The shape of the last put Des in mind of a mouse''s head. There were two dishes on top just the right shape and sized to form ears, a glass dome covering the cockpit completed the look forming a single beady eye. In his head he named it ¡®Mouse-clops¡¯.

    ¡°Hey, can you help, my friend wanted to see spaceships¡±. While Des had been staring, Shofo had walked up to a man in a maintenance uniform and was trying to get his attention.

    ¡°Starships,¡± the man remained facing away, ¡°they¡¯re called starships, never heard of a spaceship before¡±. The man was distracted, clearly working on something.

    ¡°He calls them spaceships, can you help?¡± Des was moving towards them, he wasn¡¯t sure if he wanted to stop her from talking or if he wanted to join her and beg the mans help.

    The man turned, taking in Shofo and a quickly closing in Des. ¡°ah, hello initiates¡±. He seemed mildly panicked for a second before he said ¡°wait here, I¡¯ll fetch someone¡±. He was gone before Des could finish closing the distance.

    Shofo turned to face Des as he drew up next to her. ¡°Ok I¡¯m bored, have fun Gramps¡±, she spun and began moving towards the elevator to leave.

    ¡°Wait, you¡¯re not sticking around?¡± he asked, slightly bemused by her behaviour. She had been the one to suggest this.

    She paused just long enough to turn and say, ¡°told you, ships are boring¡±. Then she carried on, barely missing a beat.

    Des was left standing alone, while he waited his eyes moved towards the bullet shaped ship a little in front of him. Resisting the urge he waited, it took only a few minutes, but to Des it felt much longer.

    A grey haired old man, looking strong and fit for his age approached. He wore the same uniform as the man from earlier, Des noticed an expression of puzzlement on his face. ¡°Jane said there were two of you?¡±

    ¡°Ah, yeh, my friend left, she isn¡¯t really interested in ships¡±

    ¡°Not to worry, not to worry. I am Chief Atreyus Booth, it''s a pleasure to meet you, initiate?¡± The last word was said as a question.

    ¡°Cain sir, initiate Desmond Cain.¡±

    ¡°Well Desmond, Jane said you wanted to see some ¡®Spaceships¡¯ ¡± there was a tone of amusement in his voice.

    ¡°Des is fine sir and yes, I¡¯d like to see some, err, starships¡±, it was a small mistake, he wasn¡¯t going to worry about using the wrong name.

    ¡°Well, let''s start with the two Harmoniums¡±. Despite being almost next to the two single man craft  the chief led them to the other side of the hangar. When they stopped in front of the two cargo haulers, he continued. ¡°These are H-38 Harmonium cargo haulers. Not truely starships¡±.

    Des was grateful, this time the man had not called them ¡®spaceships¡¯. Booth continued his speech, ¡°No, these are repulsor craft, basically airspeeders, do you understand the difference?¡±

    Des nodded but the chief waited for more. ¡°It can¡¯t travel outside the atmosphere,¡± with a title like airspeeder that seemed like the logical answer to Des.

    ¡°Exactly. Though it might not look like much it is one of the most versatile haulers on the market, capable of safely transporting hundreds of tons of any form of matter.¡±

    Des was sceptical, he couldn¡¯t see how this small vessel could carry so much. Booth seemed to expect the reaction, Smiling he led Des to the tail end of the ship. They stopped beside the last cargo pod and the chief punched out a few commands on a control attached to one of the poles. The pod and the poles that housed it began to expand backwards growing in size, it didn¡¯t stop til it was a foot from the wall.

    Des turned from the sight to a still smiling Booth ¡°impressive, what is it used for¡±

    The question appeared to deflate the chief, his smile dimming. ¡°They¡¯re mostly used for waste removal¡±.

    ¡®They¡¯re sewage trucks¡¯ Des realised. He kept his laughter inside, not wanting to upset the man that ran this hanger. Chief Booth had seemed to be enjoying this impromptu tour as much as Des was. Trying to regain the momentum he asked ¡°what about those two¡± he indicated the two unique craft on the opposite side of the hanger.

    The mans smile brightened once more, his discomfort regarding the sewage truck forgotten. They crossed the runway for the second time, stopping in front of the cylindrical ship,

    ¡°Unfortunately I can tell you almost nothing about this vessel,¡± despite his words the chiefs joy was still evident. ¡°It was brought in by master Teek, I have no idea where he found it but I do not recognise the make or model. It is a mystery to me¡±. This fact seemed to please him greatly.

    Both stared at the ship, a comfortable silence filling the space between them.

    Des was still wondering at the mysteries the craft might hold when chief Booth spoke again. ¡°Anyway, Onto the next¡±, they walked the short distance to the next bay in line. ¡°This last one is a P-45 Razorbeak, or it was, it¡¯s been rather heavily modified. It¡¯s an old scout ship, horribly outdated but the hyperdrive was fast for its day and still comparable now. You can see how the nose has been modified, it looks like they jury rigged a ram-scoop into it¡±.

    Booth began leading him around the ship, pointing out the various ways it had been altered from its original design. As they rounded the aft Des noticed an open panel, when he looked at the insides of the ship he felt an itching sensation in his mind and reflexively pushed it away. The sensation did not leave, it was only this fact that made Des aware of what he had done, what he had tried to do. He froze.

    The itching continued, he tried looking away from the panel and it stopped.

    ¡®I''ve felt this before. Not just the itching but pushing it away¡¯.

    He searched within, wracking his memories for the last time he had felt this. There was nothing to find in his recent days, so he looked farther, going all the way back to his first day in the temple. He remembered the first test of his inventory, he had stored his holopad and while viewing it in his minds eye, he had felt an itching and pushed it away. Exactly the same as he had tried to do just now.

    When next using his inventory he had felt nothing, nor had he felt it anytime since. At the time he had put it down to the complexity of the holopad but now he realised that could not be the case.

    He considered what connected these two events and the answer came to him. Just now he had been looking inside the Razorbeak, that first time he had been looking inside of the holopad.

    Hoping he was correct he turned his sight back to the open panel. The itching returned, this time instead of pushing it away he pulled on it. It was overwhelming, an encyclopaedia of understanding smacked into Des¡¯s brain as if wielded by a giant nursing a grudge. It was too much. Even if he had tried he would not be able to hold a fraction of it, as the understanding began slipping away Des became aware of two things.

    First, he was on the ground. At some point during his attempt his knees had given way. The second thing was chief Booth steadying him.

    ¡°You alright son?¡±

    Des blinked up at him, his mind was still reeling from what had just happened. ¡°Ye. Yes sir. I think so¡±. He could feel the last of what he had gained slip away, left in its wake were two pieces of information.

    ¡°There¡¯s a crack in that thing there¡± he pointed to the component. ¡±And that thing is out of tune? Misaligned? Maybe out of phase? I''m not sure¡±.

    The chief didn¡¯t look at the parts he indicated, no his eyes were firmly on Des.

 Chapter 6

    ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re alright?¡± It was the fourth time Booth asked since Des had collapsed. He was behaving like a mother hen. The flood of understanding had ended without any noticeable after effects.

    ¡°I¡¯m fine chief, I¡¯ll speak to one of the knights like you said. If they think I should go to medical then I will¡±. He would, when it came to his brain he would take no chances.

    ¡°Good, well,¡± the man looked in the direction he had originally come from, he seemed to be looking for something. Shaking his head he swung back to Des. ¡°come back when you can, if only to let an old man know you¡¯re safe¡±.

    ¡°Of course. I want to see more ships after all¡±. Des smiled at the man, he had every intention of coming back, with this newly discovered power he could see himself spending a lot of time here. Booth nodded, satisfied with Des¡¯s answer.

    With that Des made his exit, the whole way back his thoughts raced. Wild dreams of what might be possible danced across his minds eye. When he reached familiar ground he did not head to his room. Instead he sought out knight Casin.

    He found him in a meditation room alongside others from his clan. They were meditating as a group, something Des was yet to try. He wondered if there was any advantage to the practice. Sitting down he prepared himself to wait but Knight Casin must have sensed him, he was moving to intercept before Des finished sitting on the ground.

    In a quiet voice the Twi¡¯lek asked how he could help, in an equally quiet voice Des explained the events of the hangar. Throughout the explanation the Jedi gave no reaction, when he was done Casin told him to do nothing. He would speak with the council of first knowledge, they would know how to proceed..

    Des asked if he should visit the medical wing, still concerned for his health but The jedi told him not to worry, he sensed no danger.

    Reassured he returned to his room. He was tempted to inventory his holopad and begin testing what was possible with this power. What stopped him was his recent collapse combined with a mental image of himself as a drooling old man, unable to move, unable to think. No he would resist, patience was preferable to a vegetative state.

    One day passed and then two, he had retraced his route to the hangar, meaning to let chief Booth know he was alright but the man was not there. The other man he had briefly seen, Jane if Des remembered correctly, was present. He promised to pass Des¡¯s message on. In his meditation classes he no longer failed, it was as if he had passed some undetectable threshold but he felt no different. On the last day of the festival of life, in his final session for the day his usual creepy instructor was not present, Instead her master awaited him.

    ¡°Initiate Cain, please sit¡± the green scaled Rodian indicating a spot in front of himself.

    Des did so, giving a quick master as he sat.

    ¡±First, congratulations on overcoming your issue. My Padawan has informed me of your progress, if her reports are accurate you will be free to join your clan in normal training¡±. This was good news but not the reason master Jenk was here, Des knew that and thus waited for more.

    ¡°Your experience in the hangar. Before we discuss it there is a small test I would have you take¡±. He reached into his brown robes and produced three small black boxes, laying them between them, he faced Des. ¡°what do you sense?¡±

    Des looked at each in turn, trying to feel anything but nothing came. ¡°I sense nothing master Jenk. What are they?¡±

    ¡°I cannot say¡±, he remained implacable, giving no instruction.

    ¡®Can''t say or won''t say¡¯. Des considered that this might be part of the test, deciding to change his approach he reached out, picking up the leftmost box. It was black with no markings, maybe an inch thick with the approximate dimensions of a credit card. As he turned it in his hands he realised one of the large faces could slide open. When he looked inside he saw a complex assortment of wires, circuits and unidentifiable parts. With the sight came the now familiar itching at the back of his mind. Like before he reached out and pulled on it, he was met with the same deluge of understanding.

    Overwhelmed he waited, the feeling passed and a small measure of understanding was left behind. ¡°There is a flaw, here,¡± he pointed at the offending component. ¡°That''s all I can sense¡±.Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

    ¡°And the next?¡±

    Sliding the case closed he placed the first back in its spot and moved onto the next. Knowing what to expect this time, he went straight for the sliding panel. He reached out once more and pulled the understanding into himself. This time it was not as bad, though still overwhelming it lasted only a few moments. ¡°The power source is depleted, I can sense no other flaws¡±.

    ¡°And the last?¡±

    The third time was different, he had suspected it would be when he looked inside the last box. The pattern was apparent, each box had decreased in complexity and number of components, this last box housing only three parts and a circuit board. When he pulled, this time there was no flood, only understanding. Not all of it stuck but enough was left to realise something. ¡®It¡¯s a clock¡¯.

    ¡°It measures time,¡± he told master Jenk.

    ¡°Is that all you sense?¡±

    ¡°No. This part stores energy,¡± he pointed to one of the three components. ¡°This part is a crystal of some kind, the board is feeding it energy causing it to, erm, vibrate. The last part is measuring the vibration and feeding the data back to the board¡±.

    ¡°Good¡±. Des could not read him but he thought the master was smiling. ¡°The power you have just demonstrated is Mechu-deru, it is rare but not unknown to the Jedi. Yours appears to be a variation of the power but that too is a known possibility¡±.

    ¡°Variation master Jenk?¡±. Des had his suspicions as to why that might be.

    ¡°Typically it manifests as an innate understanding of machines, for you, it appears less innate¡±.

    ¡°How so,¡± Des thought he understood but wanted to hear the master say it.

    ¡°Your understanding of the last box was beyond the norm for the power. However your understanding of the first two was less than typical¡±

    ¡°What does that mean?¡± Des needed to be sure he understood., ¡°what should I do?¡±

    ¡°What it means is you lack knowledge, that is why you collapsed. What you should do, you are already doing. Continue your studies¡±. Jenk must have sensed Des¡¯s disappointment, ¡°have patience initiate, you are young, you have time. Focus on the basics and build a strong foundation. Knowledge, self discipline and the force, the core tenets of the path. All of which can be improved with¡±

    ¡°Meditation¡± Des finished for him

    ¡°Indeed. Now let us continue with that very thing,¡± saying that he proceeded to secure the test boxes back into his robes. ¡°This time, try to enter and return without the vocalisation''''.

    Des began the mantra within his mind, then sent himself deep into the force. Once he achieved the altered state he reflexively sought the familiar harmony that was his anchor. It was not there of course, but that trained response was enough, he had not lost himself, so he rose from meditation.

    ¡°Excellent. Again¡±

    They repeated the exercise a further nine times without fail before Jenk was satisfied. From there he changed the approach. ¡°This time, complete five cycles of the mantra then return¡±.

    Des followed the instructions, first doing five cycles successfully, then ten, then twenty. After that he was instructed to awaken upon a voice command from the master. He failed the first time and the second, he did not lose himself but he did miss the signal to return. It was just too difficult for him to split his attention three ways between the force, the mantra and listening for the recall signal. On his third attempt he dropped the mantra, splitting his focus two ways was easier, when Jenks spoke Des heard him. Returning he explained what he had done

    ¡°Adequate. Again¡±

    For the rest of the session the Rodian master devised increasingly complex ways to test Des¡¯s meditative awareness, pushing him to limits he didn¡¯t know he had. It was the most gruelling session thus far.

    While making his way home to his room he thought about Jenks words. ¡®I lack knowledge,¡¯ if he understood correctly, this power Mechu-deru, or the variation of it the void had given him needed knowledge to work properly. That was vital information but it was not the part that stood out to Des.

    In his mind he could still hear Jenks words, ¡® Focus on the basics and build a strong foundation¡¯. The words resonated with Des, something about them felt right. If it was the force nudging him he could not tell. For some reason it made him think of his father, he pried at the thought trying to understand the connection but it wouldn¡¯t come.

    ¡°You alright gramps?¡±

    Startled from his thoughts he looked up to find Shofo and Krit approaching him.

    ¡°What, oh, yeah I¡¯m fine¡±, Des gave his answer assuming she was asking about the incident in the hangar. He hadn¡¯t got around to telling them yet, he thought there was no point speaking on it till he knew more himself.

    She looked him up and down as if checking for injury, ¡°You don¡¯t look evil¡±.

    ¡°Wait what?¡± Des¡¯s thoughts stalled at the absurd statement.

    ¡°I said You don¡¯t look evil, that''s what they¡¯re saying, you turned bad¡±

    His mind restarting he asked, ¡°Shofo who¡¯s saying that I¡¯m evil?¡±

    ¡°Everyone¡± she said with the finality of a hammer.

    Des could have been upset, but it was so ridiculous he wanted to laugh. ¡°Why is everyone saying I''m evil?¡±

    ¡°Because you learned a darkside power, they said it means you¡¯ll become a sith¡±

    Playing catch up in his mind he tried to put the pieces together. ¡®Mechu-deru is a darkside power, why didn¡¯t Jenk mention that? How did everyone find out before me?¡¯. When he thought back on who he had told, one exchange stood out. He had told knight Casin in front of a group of meditating salamanders. One of them must have been listening, somehow they figured out his power and told the rest of his clan.

    ¡°Well, I¡¯m not evil and definitely not a Sith¡± he reassured them.

    The Ithorian just nodded, not speaking as always. Shofo seemed like she¡¯d take more convincing. ¡°Master Jenk just finished testing me, if there was a problem with the power he would have said something¡±

    ¡°Oh, ok. You¡¯re sure?¡± a last vestige of doubt remained in her tone.

    ¡±Yes I¡¯m sure¡± he wanted to offer more to reassure her but could think of nothing.

    He didn¡¯t know what removed the last of her doubt but Shofo nodded in a way that told Des she had reached a conclusion then said ¡°Ok gramps¡±.

    Relieved, Des wondered ¡®This won''t cause me problems, will it?¡¯

 Chapter 7

    Someone was mumbling, Des could hear it. He tried to focus on the sound, straining his ears to listen in. As the words of the speaker became clear he realised he knew them.

    Emotion, yet peace

    Ignorance, yet knowledge

    Passion, yet serenity

    Chaos, yet harmony

    Death, yet the Force

    It was the mantra he was oh so familiar with, the one taught to all the initiates. He tried to place the voice of the speaker, He knew that voice. ¡®Who is that?¡¯

    With sudden realisation Des awoke, the voice that had been speaking was his own. ¡®That''s the third day in a row,¡¯ he cursed internally. He had recited the mantra so often and for so long that he had begun to speak it in his sleep.

    He shook off his annoyance, making his way to the bathroom. He knew it was called a refresher in this universe but in his mind it was still a bathroom. When he was done he still had some time to kill. Despite his irritating wake up call he chose to meditate, master Jenks words from yesterday still resonating in his mind.

    Deciding five cycles of the mantra would be the safest way forward, he began.

    During his ninth round he was interrupted by a door buzzer. Rising he moved to answer.

    ¡°Jason, hey, is something up?¡± he was surprised, from the small group that had adopted him it was always Shofo who sought him out.

    ¡°Hi Des, we¡¯re in the same class, Morning meditation. Thought I''d come get you¡±. He was a little nervous, Des didn¡¯t need the Force to tell him that. Compared to the others, Jason was easy to read.

    ¡°Sure, just a moment,¡± he grabbed his holopad for later. ¡°Let''s go¡±.

    They began the short walk to their classroom, within a few steps Jason shot Des a question. ¡°What did it feel like?¡±

    He was expecting something, but the question came so soon Des was caught wrong footed. He responded with a reflexive ¡°huh,¡± before truly registering what he had been asked.

    ¡°Using the Force. What did it feel like? They said you learned a Force power, a sith power. They said it was so strong you collapsed. I thought maybe you¡¯d be able to tell me what I¡¯m missing, Shofo tried to help but nothing she said worked and Krit never talks, so I thought maybe you.¡± he stopped abruptly, his cheeks burning red with embarrassment..

    Multiple competing thoughts ran through Des¡¯s mind during the outburst. ¡®Is he right, did I use the force?¡¯ The second thought was ¡®has anyone heard Krit talk?¡¯ next came ¡®wait how far along are those two?¡¯ The last was rather pessimistic, ¡®I don¡¯t think I can help him¡¯.

    Seeing the mixture of embarrassment and hope on the kids face Des pushed that last thought aside. Even if it couldn¡¯t help him there was no harm in sharing what he Knew.

    ¡°I don¡¯t remember feeling the Force when I used the power¡±. They stopped walking, Jason looked a little disappointed but Des continued. ¡°When I first used it, it was like having a whole archive pushed into my head at once. I couldn¡¯t really sense anything through that. The last time wasn¡¯t nearly so bad, but there was still too much for me¡±.

    ¡°What about your meditation lessons, you had one on ones with master Jenk¡±. The way Jason said that made Des think even he thought it was a longshot.

    ¡°Honestly you probably know more than me about meditation, I did say I was working on a problem and we are going to the same beginner class.¡± Jason visibly deflated. ¡°Tell you what, masterJenk did run me through some tests. I doubt they will help but we can go over them afterward. Sound good?¡±

    The offer perked the boy up, he thanked Des and they resumed their walk.

    When they entered the classroom there were three others present, two he recognised as fellow initiates of their clan.  judging by the braid hanging down his shoulder The other was their padawan instructor.

    Jason sat with the others, nodding to the instructor as he passed.

    The man introduced himself as Padawan Verge. He proceeded to guide Des through emptiness meditation, which involved clearing his mind then releasing negative thoughts and feelings into the force. It didn¡¯t take long to teach,  leaving Des free to meditate.

    Deep within his trance, Des felt the currents of the Force. It ebbed and flowed, spun and danced. He focused on the scale of it, on the power of it, vast beyond reckoning with The capacity to strengthen or decay, to create or destroy. harmony and chaos forever struggling for dominance, light and dark seeking balance.

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    Wariness.

    Amidst the spectacle a stray emotion grazed across Des¡¯s perception. The unexpected interruption almost caused Des to break his trance. His surprise drifted off, released into the force. The wariness was not his, it was external, he had sensed the emotions of another through the force. There was a moment of joy that came entirely from Des before it too drifted away, quickly followed by the resulting annoyance that was caused.

    Could he do it again? He reached out like he had done with Mechu-deru and felt nothing. He tried to open himself to any feelings but if anything about himself actually changed he couldn¡¯t tell. Next he tried limiting his focus. instead of observing the entirety of the Force, or as much of it as he could, he tried to focus on only what was near him. There was nothing new but his perception had shifted. While it wasn¡¯t what he was aiming for, it was still something.

    Holding his focus in this new form he waited, reasoning that his chances of detecting an emotion would be better like this.

    Worry

    Again he felt an emotion that was not his own. It had not been quick in coming. Unsure if his shifted focus had made any difference, he continued his vigil.

    Doubt

    Sorrow

    Pity

    Despair

    He heard a voice speak. Throughout his quest to sense emotion he maintained a part of his attention on his connection to the outside world. Opening his eyes he saw the others rising, the session coming to an end.

    He rose and Jason joined him, making their way to the morning meal. Along the way Jason informed Des that he had been able to touch the force towards the end of the session. It was not his first time but he was still very excited about it. Des could relate, he was still pumped about sensing emotions.

    After they ate they went over the tests master Jenk had put him through the previous day. All of them being variations on mantra meditation, Jason agreed there was nothing there that could aid him. Des had expected it but he was still a little disappointed, he would have liked to help but he had nothing.

    In the second session Padawan Verge interrupted him shortly after entering meditation.

    ¡°Good, your ability to connect with the force is consistent¡±. For a moment Des thought he saw shades of doubt in the Padawans face. He continued, ¡±This time when you enter meditation, try to feel the force within yourself. then try to exit while holding on to the feeling¡±.

    Nodding in response Des considered the instruction. It was very close to what he¡¯d been doing to solve his awareness problem, only with one additional step. He wondered if this was the method for learning to sense the force outside of meditation, it fit after all.

    Excitement and anticipation drifted away as he tried to narrow his focus even tighter than before, seeking the Force within himself. It was easy, it was a part of him, how could it not be. There was no separation, the Force was a part of him and he was a part of the force.

    Holding onto that feeling, he slipped from meditation, opening his eyes. It was as if a switch had been flipped. One moment everything around him was bright, distinct and easy to see. Then the lights were switched off and Des was left in utter darkness, all sense of the Force having fled him.

    Determined he tried again. And again. And again. Over and over he repeated the exercise but nothing changed. Within meditation the Force was everything and everywhere, outside meditation there was nothing but the mundane. He might as well have still been on earth for all he could sense.

    The remainder of the session passed like this: then a  history class came and went followed by the midday meal. After that was physical training, two full hours of it. The schedule had changed, for today and every other day this week their training had been doubled.

    As he ran warm up circuits of the court yard it occurred to him that the jedi were building them up physically. When he thought on the possible reasons for this, a lone idea dominated his mind. ¡®Lightsabers¡¯.

    That day Des ran harder and faster than any day before, earning himself some looks from the other initiates.

    When they were warming down Shofo had asked him why, so he explained his reasoning. Despite his attempts to be quiet, his words were overheard and the mildly hostile looks he was getting ended. Most of them anyway, a few still looked a little disgruntled.

    ¡°Makes sense¡± was all she commented.

    After that they returned to their classroom for more meditation. When he had been training not to lose himself within the force he always felt like he was making progress, even from the first session. Now however there was no sense of advancement.

    ¡®It''s too soon to worry¡¯ he decided. It was his first day with this new technique. Others had been at it for more than a month and were still having trouble.

    When the final session for the day was over Jason convinced Des to join them in the common room, ¡°you can do your studies anywhere right? And it''s gotta be better than sitting alone in your room. Honestly I Don¡¯t know which of you three is worse, Krit never talking, Shofo never making any sense or you locked away in your room all the time¡±.

    ¡°Fine, fine, I¡¯ll come¡± Des acted put upon but it was just that, an act. The kid''s good mood was infectious.

    They made their way to the dorm common room. It was another boxy room but warmer. The comfortable faux leather couches and chairs, the communal dining table, a spacious meditation circle and a well stocked cantina in the back gave the room a homely feel, or maybe a community hall feeling instead.

    ¡°Hey gramps¡±

    Spotting Shofo and Krit he headed in their direction, Jason however split off to say hello to a group using the table. joining the others he sat.

    ¡°Meditation?¡± Shofos question was missing context but Des Knew what she meant.

    ¡°Good and bad, Jason seems pleased though¡± they all turned to look at him, he was animated and smiling ear to ear. Krit let out a puff of air from his mouths. It might have been a laugh or maybe an imitation of one. Or it might have been something else altogether, Des couldn¡¯t say.

    ¡°He does. And so do you,¡± Shofo countered.

    ¡°I am,¡± Des conceded the point. ¡°I had a small success. I was able to sense some emotions through the Force¡±.

    ¡°That''s good, good connection,¡± she nodded.

    Krit leaned forward noticeably. Des Interpreted it as a question.

    ¡°What did I feel?¡± The Ithorien nodded. Des thought back ¡°wariness firs-¡±

    ¡°Hah¡±. Des turned to see Jason joining them. ¡°Of course they were wary, with that power of yours,¡± he was giving Des a bemused look. He had accepted that Mechu-deru was a darkside power but Jason seemed to be hinting at more.

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°You don''t remember, we covered it in history¡±. Des thought back, nothing immediately sprung to mind. Seeing his confusion Jason continued, ¡°the Sictis wars. Belai Darzu?¡±

    He remembered. It was the most recent major conflict with the Sith. A little over one hundred years ago a Dark Lord named Belai Darzu had unified the Sith and led a twenty year campaign against the republic and jedi before dying to betrayal. Her primary weapon and the main source of her power was a sithspawn Knight Casin had described as ¡°the most vile creation the sith have ever devised¡±. The technobeasts, a combination of flesh and machine that reminded Des of cyborg-zombies. Much like zombies they carried a virus, through spores they infected all who came into contact with them. The victims would then grow metallic tumours and slowly transform into new technobeasts, their brain destroyed in the process. Even today, one hundred and ten years after Belai Darzus death, they were still a threat.

    And the power she had used to create them, to create the virus, was named Mechu-deru.

    ¡®Well, Fuck¡¯

 Chapter 8

    Des was walking to meditation alone.

    Over the last month Jason had been Des¡¯s constant companion, by his side for every class they shared, which was all of them. He had even accompanied him on a visit to the hangar but was bored to tears with the ships. Not even the simulators Chief Booth introduced in the upper level got him excited.

    Today though Des was alone. The reason for the change, they no longer shared any classes. Yesterday Jason had moved on to beginner Force control, leaving Des the last of his clan still working on basic meditation.

    Unlike Jason, Des had not progressed. The new meditation technique he was thinking of as ¡®Bobbing for the Force¡¯ was getting him nowhere. His most recent attempts gave the same results now as his first session. There was no sense of advancement or growth, it felt futile, like smashing his head against a brick wall.

    He blamed his void granted Meditation power, twice now it had caused him problems. It was frustrating, the power should have been a boon, but in this it was holding him back. The grey stone walls of the corridors seemed to fit his poor mood but that would not last long, meditation would take care of that.

    Entering the classroom he expected to find Padawan Verge waiting, instead  Master Jenk stood in his place.

    ¡°Greetings Initiate, it would appear you have another issue¡±.

    ¡°Master Jenk¡±. Surprise and a little relief flooded Des. He thought the old Rodians presence ment he was about to get some help. ¡°I have a problem, yes. The meditation technique I¡¯m using, it''s not working¡±.

    Hope was rising in Des, Jenk had been the one to provide the answer to his previous issue. So he asked ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯m doing anything wrong or Padawan Verge would have said something, but I¡¯m still not progressing. Do you have any recommendations Master Jenk?¡±

    ¡°Perhaps¡±. Des couldn¡¯t help but think that  If the Rodian had possessed a beard, he would be stroking it right now. ¡°Your holopad,¡± he held out his hand. Des passed it to his sucker tipped fingers.

    A quick series of taps and the familiar holographic arrow appeared above the device. Handing it back Jenk said ¡°Follow this guide Initiate, when you reach your destination seek out Master Grey''los, I¡¯ve made the necessary arrangements with her¡±.

    Des wanted to press him for more details but suspected he would be cautioned to be more patient if he did. Instead he asked a broad question that he reasoned should be safe, ¡°do you have any advice Master Jenk?¡±

    ¡°Listen to your intuition. You might not feel the Force yet but it still guides you¡±. Jenk became  distracted, as if listening for his own guidance or lost in thought. ¡°Now off you go, do not keep the Master waiting".

    ¡°Thank you Master Jenk¡±. Dismissed, Des turned and left.

    Once out the door he followed his holographic guide. The journey was peaceful, the quiet hallways of grey stone no longer a reflection of his mood. His problem might not have been solved but he was actively doing something about it.

    Eventually the arrow led him to a large open doorway, bigger than any he had encountered before, and yet, he knew where he was. The moment he glimpsed inside, the rows of stacks made it unmistakable, Jenk had sent him to the Archives.

    Stepping onto the central walkway, he basked in the view stretching out before him. To each side was shelving, aisle after aisle of it, all filled with holobooks, data cards and all manner of ancient storage medium. A gentle glow emanated from them, giving a mystical ambiance that was only reinforced by the serene quiet of a library. Glancing up he could tell that the same layout was repeated on the second floor. As his sight returned to the ground level he noticed that Between each aisle were stone pedestals, upon each rested a bust of some ancient Jedi, or maybe it was a historical figure, Des couldn¡¯t say. Shifting his focus again he noticed, Positioned at regular intervals along the walkway were computer terminals, they led to a spot off in the distance that Des guessed was a reception area.

    He was about to start heading that way when a gentle cough from behind drew his attention. He spun around and looked up, though not as far as usual, to a Jedi of a species he did not recognise.

    She was maybe a foot taller than Des and humanoid in shape. Her face was structured like a dogs but held features that reminded Des more of a cat, specifically a lioness. A full head of grey hair was tied up at the back in an intricate arrangement that exposed long pointed ears, like those of an elf, but covered in tan fur. Completing her look was a long billy goat beard that screamed biker gang to Des.

    ¡°You must be Initiate Cain¡±. She smiled at him, Des expected it to be predatory but her smile was little different than a humans, her incisors maybe a little longer but not by much.

    Yes ma''am, are you, Master Grey''los?¡± this had to be who Jenk had sent him to meet, a part of Des wanted to wander and explore, but he was here for a reason.

    ¡°That I am little one. Zeer described your issue but I would hear it from you. Not here though,¡± she indicated the central walkway, ¡°come¡±.

    Des followed, while they walked his eyes roamed the stacks, awed by the sheer volume of knowledge contained. He was led up a set of stairs then into a room that was empty, except for a computer terminal and chair. A private study room if Des guessed correctly.

    The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    ¡°First I¡¯d like to see the issue, then I¡¯d like you to describe your experience¡±.

    Sitting down Des did both, running through the exercise a little slower than normal so nothing would be missed. His explanation was short though, there wasn¡¯t much to tell.

    ¡°I see, Zeer was right then¡± Her fur rippled when she said it.

    ¡°Right about what Master Grey''los?¡± Jedi really did like playing mysterious.

    ¡°Our normal methods will not work for you. We will have to try something unorthodox". From within her robes she produced a datacard, handing it over to Des she carried on. ¡°That contains a set of search parameters, it will provide you with every meditation technique contained within the archives. You are to look through them and seek a method to overcome this issue¡±.

    ¡®So not a solution but a possible path to one¡¯ he thought.

    ¡°For today you are excused from class. Search the archives and meditate on what you find. Before I go, do you know how to use the terminal?¡±

    Des shook his head, he could probably work it out but it might save time in the long run to accept a quick lesson. It didn¡¯t take long then Des was left to begin his research.

    There were over Eighteen thousand matches. How was he going to get through all of these in a day? ¡®Trust your intuition¡¯ Jenks earlier words now made more sense to Des.

    The first thing he did was copy the entire collection to his holopad, whether it was intuition or plain sense that motivated him he didn¡¯t know. Gathering his resolve he started reading. The first few entries he read in full but before long he was just skimming them, then he was just reading the names of each technique. He was waiting for something to stand out, for some signal from the Force

    It took just over two hours to go through all the names on the list. While there was no obvious intervention from the Force, some methods did stand out just for sounding useful or cool. Healing meditation for one, while it would not solve his problem, it was something he might want to know. In the same vein was Battle meditation, the name alone drawing Des to it, so he added it to his notes even if it wouldn¡¯t help him now.

    Of the rest, nothing stood out. Resigned Des began reading again. This time he looked for commonalities, trying to break the process down to its constituent parts. That too proved fruitless, there was too much crossover between elements. ¡®Is listening to a recording of a mantra really different from repeating it in your mind?¡¯

    When he reached a point where he hadn¡¯t encountered a new component to a technique for some time, He decided it was time to meditate on it.

    Within his trance he worked his way through what he¡¯d learned, considering each unique aspect of meditation he could identify. Visualisation, mantra, muscle relaxation, he took his time with each one watching the Force for a reaction. Walking, balance, ¡®huh¡¯.

    There was a reaction, the momentum of the Force shifted. for a moment it stilled within him, it didn¡¯t last long, over so quick he could have imagined it but he did not doubt what he felt. ¡®Balance¡¯ he thought once more and again there was a reaction, far lesser than before but still noticeable.

    He could have ended there, the Force had responded, instead he continued.

    The next reaction to come was weaker, the Force responding to a rather strange aspect of a technique, ¡®Relative body position¡¯. As part of its parent method, you had to maintain awareness of each limbs position in relation to the others. Unsure what to think of the odd component, he moved on.

    "Rhythmic" got a similar reaction, but a much stronger reaction was soon produced, first with ¡®awareness¡¯, then with ¡®movement¡¯. The strongest reaction of all was to ¡®breathing¡¯, for a moment the Force flowed all around him. More than that though he got the sense that this was his solution, or the key to it anyway.

    Even then he didn¡¯t stop. He moved through the remainder of the list, just in case. He got one more hit with, ¡®props¡¯, the reaction from the Force was on par with that of ¡®rhythmic¡¯, weak but distinct. ¡®Props¡¯ was possibly stranger than even ¡®relative body position¡¯. Many methods he had read of, involved some kind of object. Candles, beads, special clothing, religious paraphernalia, one method even used a brain scanning gadget that produced music appropriate for the users mental state.

    Des temporarily ended his trance, making quick notes of the elements of meditation that stirred a response. Resuming his delve he focused on ¡®breathing¡¯, there was no reaction this time, the Force had given him his answer and was now silent. He tried mixing the concepts within his mind, hoping some iteration of the combined elements would provoke a response, but none did.

    Resetting his approach, he focused on breathing, not on the concept but instead on the act. In. Out. In. Out. Without intent he began counting his breaths, when he reached seven restarting the cycle. In. Out. In. Out. It felt natural, even more basic and fundamental than emptiness Meditation, to breathe is to live and to live is to be part of the Force. In. Out. In. Out.

    ¡°Excellent progress Initiate¡± the soft voice easily reaching Des in his altered state. He opened his eyes to see the new master taking notes on a holopad. she loosed a question at him, ¡°the Force guided you to this yes?¡± the question felt unnecessary, Des thought she already Knew the answer. He just nodded.

    ¡°I believe I see the intent, a rather simple solution if it works, and quite similar to an existing exercise¡±. She finished tapping away at her pad. ¡°You are missing a few steps however. While you would figure them out on your own, that¡¯s not necessary¡±.

    Des felt chided, he did have a tendency to not seek help. ¡°What should I do, Master Grey¡¯los?¡±

    ¡°You must attempt to synchronise your breath with the Force, breathing in and out in rhythm with it as it flows through you¡±.

    ¡®That would not be easy¡¯ Des thought, the Force could be erratic, he might black out.

    ¡°Once you have achieved that you will have to forge a new breathing pattern. Something unique,something you could not slip into by accident outside meditation¡±. Not understanding Des gave her a confused look. ¡°The aim is to build a kind of muscle memory, once the new pattern is instinctual then you use it outside meditation, in theory your breathing should synchronise with the Force allowing you to sense it¡±

    ¡®Ok, that makes sense¡¯ he thought. But there was one question he needed answered, he expected to be cautioned to patience but he asked anyway. ¡°How long will it take?¡±

    ¡°How long did it take you to overcome your first issue?¡± The Masters question hinted at an answer Des didn''t like.

    ¡°Eight weeks¡± he responded, his voice slightly mechanical. ¡®would it really take so long?¡¯

    ¡°I¡¯d assume it would take a similar length of time¡±. Sensing Des¡¯s emotions she added, ¡°you are young and becoming a Jedi is no race. While you might be behind your peers this exercise is typically used to train your control and strengthen your connection to the Force¡±. Des could almost sense the next words coming, ¡°Be patient little one, and trust in the Force¡±.

    ¡°Yes Master Grey¡¯los¡±.

    ¡°I will inform Zeer of your discovery, I imagine he will adjust your training accordingly. In the meantime, there is no danger to you in practising the breathing exercise. This room is free for the remainder of today, you may continue using it, or you may return to your dormitory. I however have much work to do. It was a pleasure meeting you Initiate Cain.¡±

    ¡°And you, Master Grey¡¯los,¡± Des hesitated, there was one more question he wished to ask but was concerned it would be rude.

    ¡°Ask¡± the Jedi said, having sensed his curiosity.

    ¡°What , erm, species are you Master?¡± He wanted to know but asking made him uncomfortable.

    ¡°I am Bothan. Be at ease, no one has met every species the galaxy has to offer, there is no shame in asking¡± she smiled at him, it was filled with warmth and compassion. ¡°Now I really must be off, goodbye Initiate Cain and may the Force be with you¡±.

    It was only when she was gone that it occurred to Des, he had failed to mention the reactions from the Force to the other meditation elements. He would mention it to Jenk in his next session.

    Des decided to leave the archives, he had his answer. The archives might contain all the knowledge of the Jedi but for now it held nothing he needed. ¡®Eight more weeks¡¯, even if the Force synchronised breathing did everything promised he would still be lagging behind.

    ¡®Eight weeks,¡¯ the thought bounced around his head. ¡®Unacceptable¡¯. He started doing the maths. ¡®Five sessions a day at an hour a piece, five days in a week, multiplied by eight weeks. That''s two hundred hours. If I reduce my self study and maybe skip a few hours of sleep I could do another five hours easily, any more and I¡¯d have to skip meals or go without sleep altogether¡¯.

    With the outline of a plan in place, Des increased his speed, the sooner he got started the sooner he would break through this bottleneck.

    Then, he could truly learn to use the Force.

 Chapter 9

    ¡°Wait, you went to the archives?¡± it was Jason who spoke but the other two were just as intent on Des¡¯s answer.

    ¡°Master Jenk sent me, yeh¡±. His answer was only met with more silence. ¡°Is that not normal?¡± They were currently in his room, having found him on his way back from the archives, curious about his absence, they had tracked him down.

    ¡°Not normal, no,¡± Shofo answered, she sounded distracted, her attention elsewhere.

    ¡°None of us can go,¡± added Jason. There was a glint in his eyes, ¡°Could You go back?¡±

    ¡°I could, why, is there something you need?¡± He wanted to start meditating, he had made a plan, but even without the Force he could tell what Jason was thinking.

    ¡°Force powers, all of them¡±`his enthusiasm was evident, Des expected the same from the other two but Shofo was still distracted, meanwhile Krit, silent as ever, was furiously tapping away at his holopad.

    Sure enough a message appeared on Des¡¯s holopad. ¡®Bafforr trees¡¯

    Seeing his training time draining away, Des tried to think of a way to help and get started on his plan, he Voiced the first idea that came to him. ¡°Make a list. I¡¯ve got to train, I¡¯m behind everyone, I can¡¯t do that if I¡¯m running to the library and back all the time, so use tonight to make a list. I¡¯ll go tomorrow and get everything I can¡±.

    Krit nodded, easily accepting Des¡¯s plan, Jason''s enthusiasm dimmed a little but he too gave his agreement. Shofo however was still distracted, her reaction was beginning to worry Des, while she was often quiet, she was rarely withdrawn as she was now. He gave the other two a look, Jason just looked back in confusion but Krit understood his question. The Ithorian slightly shook his head, indicating his equal lack of understanding. That slight movement was enough to draw Shofo from her thoughts.

    ¡°Scent blockers,¡± she said.

    Jason and Krit stiffened. Des¡¯s reaction wasn''t much better, he knew exactly what she was getting at, why she wanted to know about scent blockers. Rodians did not smell great to most noses, admittedly Des had only met the two, so not a large sample size to draw from, but both were quite distinct.

    Jenks scent was the stronger of the two, it reminded Des of the time he had tripped in a field and fallen face first into a cow pat. His dad was practically falling over with laughter when he returned to their camp site, his mum had tried to chastise him for his stupidity, but the corner of her lips kept twitching up, spoiling the effect. Des had just wanted to wash the taste out of his mouth.

    Shofos scent was more like wet clothing left a day too long. Not pleasant but far from overpowering. When they¡¯d first interacted  Des hadn''t even registered it, having just finished physical training he dismissed it as a workout funk.

    Right now he wished he was further along in his force studies, if he could sense Shofos emotions maybe he wouldn¡¯t feel so awkward. Instead he¡¯d have to rely on the old fashion approach, asking. ¡°Shofo. Has someone been giving you a hard time?¡±

    ¡°No, but I can feel them. Well sometimes. They think I smell but they don¡¯t say it¡±.

    Des had hope there had been an instigator, some arrogant brat that he could track down and reeducate. This situation however was different, of course Jedi, even the young ones would be too polite to comment. Des couldn¡¯t decide if that was better or worse, being able to sense that discomfort yet everyone pretending like it didn¡¯t exist.

    ¡°You shouldn¡¯t worry about what other people think,¡± it was Jason that said it but Des had been thinking the same thing. Surprisingly though, Shofo shook her head.

    ¡°I can feel what they feel, like it¡¯s happening to me. I don¡¯t want to feel that again and I don¡¯t want them to feel it either¡±. Her proclamation brought more awkward silence.

    Des couldn¡¯t say if that was the right choice, but it was her choice to make so there was only one response that he would give. ¡°Ok. I¡¯ll find out what I can from the archives¡±.

    ¡°Thanks gramps,¡± she moved to gather the other two to leave.

    ¡°You¡¯re going?¡± Des was caught off guard, them leaving right after that conversation felt weird.

    She nodded, ¡°You¡¯ve got training to do and Jason has a list to make¡±.

    Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

    As she turned again to leave, herding Krit and Jason as she went, an idea occurred to Des. ¡°Wait¡±, he quickly fired up his holopad transferring all the meditation data to hers. ¡°There are techniques in there for body control, maybe one of them can help¡±.

    She nodded in thanks, then all three left, leaving Des alone to get started. Before he did he set an alarm for midnight, not wanting to lose an entire sleep. Sitting cross legged upon his bed, he focused on his breathing. He felt  the air passing in and out of his lungs, his chest expanding and contracting, then, once he was ready, he let his mind drop into deepest meditation.

    He sought out his connection, the part of the Force that was him. Finding it he split his attention, monitoring both his breathing and the flow of the Force. Compared to some of Jenks tests, it wasn''t difficult. As he felt the energy wane within him he breathed out, when it surged he inhaled, if it stilled he held his breath. He didn¡¯t black out but he did desync often, the Force swelling at times beyond his lungs capacity, at other times receding when he had no air left to give. When this happened Des would just start over.

    It was the alarm he had set that ended the session. if he had made progress he couldn¡¯t sense it. Despite that he felt good, hours of communing with the Force still felt magical to him. in all his previous training he¡¯d been dipping his toes, dropping in and out of meditation. Now he could remain within his trance while he worked. It wasn¡¯t advancement, but it was a pleasant consolation.

    The following day he was not assigned a class for meditation, according to his schedule he was being trusted to work on  his own. Setting a fresh alarm to give himself time to wash and eat he resumed his practice.

    The day flew by, before he knew it Jason was approaching him with a list far larger than he had ever imagined. Des should have been more clear when he made the offer. He had made it to his friends and thought it obvious it was meant for them. They however saw it differently, ¡°make a list¡± was what he had said and that''s exactly what they had done, only they did it With the full input of clan salamander. He agreed to do the full list only if Jason agreed to handle the distribution, with that decided Des set off.

    Upon reaching the archives he headed straight for the reception area at its centre. Given previous advice and the size of his list, he fully intended to ask for help. As he drew near he realised the central room was larger than he had guessed, bigger even than the hangar he was familiar with. a circular room of grey stone, at least four or five stories tall, and wider than a football pitch.  At its centre was a saucer shaped piece of technology Des assumed was the archives central computer. Surrounding it like the rings of a planet was the reception desk.

    He crossed familiar red carpets, heading for the nearest free assistant. quickly explaining his purpose to the librarian, he showed him the list of topics clan salamander had requested. The man smiled indulgently and just as quickly took the list from Des, then converted it to a datacard containing the search parameters. He pointed Des to an open terminal.

    While he waited for the data to transfer to his holopad, he began reading the parts that interested him. First was Shofos scent blockers, the list of options available to her was extensive. From simple sprays to surgical procedures, she would not run short of choice.

    Satisfied, he moved onto the Bafforr trees Krit had asked about. A short way into the first article the transfer completed, but what he did read was fascinating. A Force sensitive tree native to Ithor, Krits homeworld. The tree had the ability to interlock its roots with its fellows, forming a neural network capable of achieving sentience with only seven members. Planet Ithor was one giant forest of them, something that should have been terrifying but the forest, or mother jungle as the Ithorians called it, had uplifted Krits people to the stars. It was a benevolent guiding hand to a species that once worshipped it as a god. He planned to keep a copy of the data to read, for when he could make the time.

    He left the Archives, it hadn''t taken long, a little over twenty minutes inside and he was done, if he was quick he could still manage four hours extra meditation.

    When he entered the common room he was prepared, his holopad ready to transfer the data. Jason was waiting for him, along with the rest of clan salamander. He initiated the upload and handed his holopad off to Jason instructing him to signal when it was finished. He then retreated to the corner seating, joining Krit and Shofo.

    ¡°It''s good you did this for him, gramps,¡± Shofo said by way of greeting. Krit gave his usual nod. ¡°He doesn¡¯t get to feel important much¡±.

    He wasn¡¯t sure how to respond to that, Jason seemed to be in his element though, and enjoying every moment of it. He considered the reaction he was witnessing, ¡®The archives didn¡¯t take that long, maybe I could go again¡¯.

    ¡°Your Training?¡± Shofos question drew him from his thoughts.

    He relayed his experiences with the breathing exercise, unexpectedly she offered some advice. ¡°Focus more on your connection¡±. He considered it, it was possible he had been too intent on the breathing aspect of the technique.

    ¡°Thanks, I¡¯ll try that¡±

    It took twice as long to transfer the data as it had in the archives. When it was done Des said his farewells and made to leave, he was not expecting to be thanked by several of his clan mates as he did so. The calls of ¡°thanks Des¡± were a pleasant surprise. He could have stayed but the excitement of the others would be a distraction from within meditation.

    He returned to his room, set an alarm then began. This time he focused more intently on his connection, giving only the barest slice of his awareness to breathing. He felt that sense of oneness, the separation between himself and the Force blurring. Holding onto that feeling he examined his breath, it was strong, steady and out of sync. He tried altering it as he had before but in doing so lost the sense of unity he had achieved. Refocusing, Des concentrated on his connection, seeking harmony once more. When he felt it he changed tact, this time he did not try to adjust the rhythm of his breathing, instead he merely observed, maintaining the bulk of his awareness on his connection to the Force.

    Something was still off, he could feel it. It wasn¡¯t the technique, but something within Des that was wrong. He could feel himself being led to a conclusion, the experience was different to any previous interaction with the Force, yet through no means he could identify he came to realise his intent was flawed. He sought to catch up with his peers, to push forward and match them, but that was his ego driving him. Unbidden, Master Jenks'' words came to mind. ¡®Focus on the basics, and build a strong foundation¡¯. Des understood what had to change.

    Reluctantly, Des surrendered his plan to accelerate the process and surfaced from meditation, if he was understanding correctly, the Force, much like the Jedi was counciling patience, if he tried to rush the process now it would undermine his future.

    He took some time, just thinking over the experience, slowly accepting the guidance offered.

    If he could not work on the Force, then he would work on his knowledge. Picking up his holopad he made to resume his studies. If he was being honest with himself, his lessons were a significant part of why he had thrown himself so fully into Force training. He had caught up with his past self. While not true in fields such as history, philosophy and politics, those subjects being the domain of Jedi instruction. For the other topics, Mathematics and science, the lessons now were new, unknown to Des.

    It was as if he had moved onto the next year of highschool. For the first time he failed a lesson, when presented with his forty seven percent fail, there was a flashing icon he had not previously encountered, when he tapped it he was prompted to choose an avatar.

    Hopeful, Des cycled through the options, the list was extensive, from famous Jedi and historical figures, most of which he didn¡¯t recognise, to generic examples of countless species. Whether it was amusement or nostalgia that motivated him he did not know, but he chose a protocol droid for his avatar. Sure enough a six inch tall holograph of a droid appeared at the head of his holopad.

    ¡°Greetings Initiate Cain, I am Holodroid instructor iteration 30449, do you wish to go over your previous errors?¡±

 Chapter 10

    The miniature holographic instructor had proven itself a Force sent angel. After each lesson, they would go over his mistakes with a patience no living being could match. When he failed to understand something, the toy sized holodroid could project visual examples alongside its explanations. If he couldn¡¯t follow that,  it would offer an alternative explanation, using fresh imagery and new metaphors or analogy. No matter how many times he failed to understand, the tiny artificial instructor would offer a fresh interpretation until, finally it clicked.

    With each passing lesson, the need for multiple explanations waned, according to the holodroid it was compiling a profile on the best methods to teach him. Its aid was not restricted to correcting and explaining his mistakes, Des could see the influence it was having on each new lesson. They were increasingly hand tailored to suit his way of thinking,

    As the days past his need for his new instructor also waned. The teaching profile it generated gradually became honed to a level so sharp it could penetrate even the thickest skull. His self study once more sped up, it could never match his earlier pace but he wasn¡¯t really learning then, just covering previously held knowledge.

    In the past Des had felt like a fraud, though none had said anything he knew his rate of learning had been noted. He could guess how it must look to the Jedi. That was why he had been allowed access to the archives before anyone else, but it was a privilege he had not earned.

    Now however his progress was genuine, while he was no genius, with the holodroids cultivated lessons, Des felt smarter than he had at any point in either life.

    To add to his joy, nine days after his Force guided revelation, he was able to synchronise his breathing with the Force. Shofo had been right, the key was to focus on his connection, given enough time in that meditative state his breathing had aligned of its own accord, or maybe it was the force that aligned to him, he couldn''t say which was true for sure.

    Either way he had achieved the first step. It almost felt as if the lesson on patience was being reinforced. When he had tried to push ahead, he got nowhere, yet when he gave up that hope, he progressed faster than he could have predicted.

    The next step was to forge his own pattern, but what did that even mean? At the time he had assumed that he would be controlling the Force to match a pattern of his devising. Now, that seemed like the wrong mindset, more likely, it would be the Force guiding him.

    He sought out Shofo, she had given him the tip that had proven the key to the first step. When she exited her room, Des could have sworn the doors closed behind her faster than was normal, but something in her countenance told him she would not be answering questions about it.

    Instead he asked her about forging a breathing pattern. Unfortunately, Shofo had no advice  for him. She explained that Force synchronised breathing had been taught to her as an early control exercise, forging a pattern had never been a part of those lessons.

    His next port of call was Knight Casin. The Twi¡¯lek had no answers for Des, but he did congratulate him on his progress. He then assured Des that Jenk and the others of the Council of First Knowledge would be informed.

    Des returned to his room, checking his schedule he looked for any changes, anything that might signify a future lesson to direct his path. There was none so far, which was hardly surprising, it had not been long.

    It was the following day before he got an answer, at the end of a class on the Jedi code, Master Jenk appeared, while the others were leaving he indicated to Des to remain seated with a simple gesture and waited, once they were alone he spoke.

    ¡°Initiate Cane. I was informed of your progress, congratulations. I wish to see it with my own eyes, then we will discuss your path forward¡±.

    With a sense of relief Des gave a yes Master. Sinking deep into meditation he sought that sense of unity with the Force, the newly familiar state of mind where his breathing and the Force would harmonise.

    Des had no idea how long it took but shortly after achieving the feat the old Rodian Masters voice drew him back, ¡°good. You have already begun to forge a pattern¡±. Des¡¯s surprise must have been obvious, because Jenk continued, ¡°you were unaware, I see. It is subtle but, your influence is noticeable¡±

    ¡°Influence Master? It doesn¡¯t feel like I¡¯m doing anything¡±.

    ¡°Aware of it or not, the Force is responding. So long as you continue your practice while maintaining your intent to alter the pattern, it is only a matter of time¡±.

    Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

    Des nodded, accepting the Masters guidance and resisting the urge to ask how long it would take. ¡°Shall I continue meditating Master Jenk¡±?

    Shaking his head the old Rodian replied ¡°That will not be necessary, no, but before I go there is one more thing I would discuss with you¡±.

    Des inclined his head signaling him to continue.

    ¡°I have noticed a pattern in your academic work, you favour the technological and the mechanical. Not surprising given your talents but I would encourage you to not neglect the other branches of science¡±.

    With only a moment of self reflection Des knew this to be true. When new modules became available within his holopad he would gravitate straight to the technical knowledge. More so now that he knew about his latest ability.

    There was something that confused Des, so he asked ¡°Master Jenk, I don¡¯t understand. Does it really matter which order I study in¡±?

    ¡°No, but you are fast approaching a point where traditionally, initiates are afforded the freedom to choose the path they wish to study. I suspect without prompting you would focus almost entirely on machines. Am I wrong¡±?

    Shaking his head Des answered, ¡°no, Master¡±.

    No self reflection was needed to know the truth of Jenks words but, Feeling a need to push back he added ¡°I like tech, it''s interesting and with my Mechu-deru needing knowledge, doesn¡¯t it make sense to focus on technology and play to my strengths¡±?

    ¡°Hmm, playing to your strengths holds wisdom yes¡±, Jenk paused for a significant moment, seeming to consider his next words. ¡°However, too often a person becomes defined by their weaknesses. It is a trap that has cost Jedi lifes. Diplomats who neglected their saber training only to be cut down by a sith no more skilled than a talented padawan, or a Battlemaster dead to poison while surrounded by weeds that could have cured him. remember Initiate, a Jedi seeks balance¡±.

    The Masters reasoning made sense but something felt off. For no apparent reason Des thought Jenk had made up the anecdote about a battlemaster dying to poison. Unwilling to challenge the Jedi on it, Des put his suspicion aside and nodded his acknowledgment.

    ¡°Good, then I will take my leave Initiate, meditate on what we have discussed¡±

    With that, the Master was gone, so Des also made his exit, heading for his mid day meal. He was distracted the whole way back thinking over the conversation he had just had. ¡®Why did I think Jenk made up that story? Why would he make up a story like that¡¯? Des spun the thoughts in his mind but all he could come up with was ¡®if Mechu-Deru is truely of the dark side, maybe, the danger is more subtle than I thought. The master was right, I would have focused entirely on tech if he hadn¡¯t said anything¡¯.

    That thought brought Des¡¯s stride to a stop. He could almost feel the colour draining from his face as a different question bubbled to the front of his awareness. ¡®Was I always interested in technology¡¯?

    Standing alone in the temple corridor Des searched his memories for an answer, yet,  he could find nothing definitive. In his first life there was technology, from video games to the internet, he had used them all, he was even the de facto tech support for his parents any time the PC crashed or the DVR needed programing, but, was that interest, or was it just utility?

    He lost track of time as he searched his past life for a smoking gun. Some memory he could point to, to dismiss the creeping fear that the dark side might be influencing him, that it might have been influencing him since the moment he woke up in this galaxy far far away.

    It was only when it occurred to him how odd he would look to any passerby that he snapped out of his self scrutiny.

    Resuming his walk he tried to take a mental step back, ¡®I¡¯m not thinking about this rationaly, like a propper Jedi should ¡®.

    Invoking the Jedi within his mind brought forth all the rhetoric and teachings he had been soaking up for the last year. In that moment all the lectures on self awareness and self control made any danger, whether real or imagined seem very slight, just one more thing to be aware of.

    The thought settled his mind considerably. What little worry was left over was worn away by the days physical training and then meditation. By the time he went for the evening meal he felt centred once more.

    It was during that meal Shofo asked him ¡°Are you joining group meditation tonight Gramps¡±?

    Des hesitated a moment in answering, so Jason used the gap in speech to pile on, ¡°come on Des. Meditation is easier when you¡¯re there¡±.

    Des was sure they were just trying to get him to socialise more. He smiled, without them pushing him, he would be hermiting himself away, lost in the Force or whatever new piece of knowledge he was studying today.

    ¡°Sure, I¡¯m in¡±. And with that nightly group meditation became a standard part of his routine.

    As the days passed Des worked consistently on his breathing meditation, never noticing improvement but holding faith that his patience would be rewarded. He followed master Jenks advice on his studies, doing his best to not prioritize tech related subjects.

    The group meditation was rewarding at first, with each session Des¡¯s ability to sense the emotions of the others improved. He could not identify the source of any emotion, but he could sense the feelings more consistently with each session.

    It was when others from clan salamander started joining that Des began to grow uncomfortable. Sensing their wariness of him, that slight feeling of distrust, became a constant of each session, at least at first. As the days became weeks and the festival of the stars came and went, the wariness and distrust transformed, first to sympathy, then to Pity.

    It was at that time Des first heard the expression ¡®Timing Out¡¯. Unsure what it meant he asked his friends. Shofo and Krit both gave little reaction, both turning to check if the others held an answer. Jason on the other hand looked sad and maybe a little guilty.

    ¡°You know what it means?¡± Des asked not liking the look Jason was directing at him.

    ¡°Its¡±. Jason hesitated a moment before continuing ¡°not something we have to worry about for a long time. Not for Years¡± he added, as if that was some unfathomable distant future they would never encounter.

    ¡°But what is it, and how come me and Krit haven¡¯t heard of it¡± asked Shofo

    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t have heard it, you two are both in the top of the class, you won''t time out¡±.

    At this point the meaning seemed obvious to Des but he still wanted to hear it. ¡°Jason, please tell me what Timing out means¡± he tried his best to hold a poker face, to not show the growing distress.

    ¡°It¡¯s when you¡¯re not strong enough to become a Jedi Knight, it would take too long, you''d be an old man by then. So they send you off to be a farmer instead¡±.

    Des did not think that was the whole story, but it probably wasn¡¯t far from the truth either.

    ¡®Not everyone can become a Jedi Knight, but, with all these abilities and powers I was given, they wouldn¡¯t give me a weak ass connection to go with them, would they? That would just be cruel¡¯