《This Mortal Girl》 Prologue Zhilan ¡°Because of a great love, one is courageous.¡±-Lao Tzu Time is a fickle thing, coaxing us through our youth and rushing us to our ends. We live brief lives believing time is linear and--to the extent of those on earth--it is. We are born, we age, and we die. But in places not anchored by gravity to a spinning, time-counting mass, time is not so simple. Rather than being a straight line, it seems akin to a mandala. Circles spinning within circles, intricate patterns that touch at points, and enable us to slip in and out of those circles with some effort. Everything happens at once but because our rational minds cannot perceive it to be so, we create moments to hold onto. Someone may have been born in 2635 BCE, but who is to say that they did not exist for a millennium beyond that in another realm? They might continue to exist even now, though because humans are unaware of the time variances between the five realms, they might never be privy to that person¡¯s existence. Humans¡¯ knowledge is subverted to avoid their seeking out the realms beyond earth. Heaven is something to strive for. Diyu is something to endure. The Ghost and Beast Realm would devour any human that enters there, and the Dragon Realm of the Eastern Sea is aloof and unyielding. But nothing is as it seems, I can attest to that. I must believe that when the points of those mandalas are near enough, our previous lives can be felt brushing past us. Our souls whisper longings for places we have never been, and hunger for things we have never known. We accept the familiarity or repulsion of a stranger based within the first few seconds of meeting. We step on foreign soil and know that we are home. I was pondering other realms and forgotten lives while standing in line on the bridge with a sea of naked souls behind me. An old woman sat on a cushioned stool at the apex of the bridge and waved me forward. She motioned to a seat across from her. ¡°Do you like it?¡± she asked, following my eyes to the embroidered red cushion. ¡°Is it new?¡± I asked, sitting down. She brightened. ¡°A gift from a mutual friend.¡± I smiled, waiting awkwardly. I had no friends. ¡°Do you remember your true name?¡± the old woman asked. I opened my mouth to speak, then shut it again. Too many names and places cluttered my thoughts and I couldn¡¯t recall which ones was mine. ¡°I am Meng Po,¡± she said. Steam rose from the spout of a teapot settled between us and I remembered looking forward to the tea and the quiet absence of thought that followed. Oolong with a hint of orange and some special blends. But she did not offer it this day. Instead, she ambled behind her small cart and poured a mug of a vibrant blue liquid. ¡°There will be no more tea for you,¡± she said, placing the cup in my hands and gently lifting it to my lips. ¡°Instead, you will drink this.¡± The liquid burned its way down my throat, coating it with peppers and oil, filling my stomach with fire until I coughed and my eyes teared. The pain in my gut brought back the suffering of a thousand lives. Each one ending in the anguish of violence or affliction. Each one cut short and stolen from me. Meng Po poured the liquid into my mouth again. Her voice was tender. ¡°Drink so that you might remember. Drink so that you might break the fates of more than yourself.¡± A thousand deaths rushed back to me, each one spent looking into the same pair of soft, brown eyes. Eyes that suffered with me. Eyes that knew me. Niu Qiang. My Niu Qiang. How could I have forgotten him? What cruelty would make me forget? As the fire of the blue beverage reached my head, memories doubled me over in waves of misery. We were buried together with a hundred other slaves and horses to accompany a king. They slit out throats before placing our bodies in the cold cavern they had hollowed out. Our bodies lie there still, forgotten by time and man. We were slave laborer¡¯s hauling massive stones on sleds along sandy land to erect great temples to greater egos. Niu Qiang was whipped to death for stumbling. I followed moments behind, trying, and failing, to save him. We fought beside each other, and fought each other alternately, in too many armies. The recognition always a moment behind the killing stroke. I saw my name on Niu Qiang¡¯s lips and felt his name on mine too many times as we watched each other die. His death came moments before my own, though sometimes I died first. My father, the Jade Emperor, had placed his curse so well that we never knew each other before that moment. And never, in a thousand lifetimes, did I feel my beloved¡¯s hand.The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement. Niu Qiang and I were made twin moons hurtling around the emperor¡¯s curse in a gravitational pull; close, but never meeting, as time pressed us on, tossing us from earth to Diyu and back repeatedly. My skin burned with the fiery liquid, as Meng Po forced another drink into my mouth. Centuries passed --lifetimes spent in poverty and pain--and I recalled other faces. The oval face of a bold girl with large eyes black as coal. A young boy, gentle as his father. This old woman who greeted me with compassion at the end of each life. I would remember them and then forget again. I did not wonder why the emperor gave us miserable lives each time. To grace us with a normal life would not fulfill the intent of his punishment. He wanted me to beg for forgiveness, beg to return to heaven and admit that the gods were more important than the human I loved. But, in those moments of clarity, before the tea consumed my mind, I focused on memories of Niu Qiang¡¯s kindness to keep me sane. It was a kindness never received in Heaven. I count the lifetimes experienced over four thousand years on earth, I tally each death. Can anyone other than an immortal fathom that? Since one year on earth equates to a single day in heaven it had only been eleven years for my family. I wondered if my mother or Xifeng missed me. I wondered how this punishment had come to be, but my muddled memory returned only in pieces. It was like trying to piece a mosaic back together after it shattered. It should make sense, but pieces were missing. Meng Po raised the cup again. ¡°Drink and all will be made clear.¡± So, I swallowed, each drink returning some new piece of history. I remembered my five older sisters bartered off like chattel for marriage. My younger sister, Zhinu, banished to the stars with her human husband, the milky way spread between them. I remembered my father¡¯s disregard, my mother¡¯s sadness. I remembered that I was a spare daughter. But when I met my Niu Qiang I knew the joy of belonging. I had my children that I did not birth. My brave, sickly girl, Jiang Li, and my sweet boy, Liko. I nursed them to health by manipulating and sharing my qi and watched them bloom like the flowers on the plum trees in winter. As I remembered each death again, I noticed a strange pattern. A young woman with large black eyes and an oval face called our names while trying to reach us. She was not there for every death, but I saw her often enough to recognize her. The emperor had promised that our children would be kept safe, but my memories did not lie. Jiang Li had fought our battles with us, had sought to reach us. The cup slipped from my hands, crashing to the bridge. I grasped Meng Po¡¯s arm. ¡°What has happened to Jiang Li?¡± Her arthritic hand covered mine. ¡°She is well.¡± She lifted the bottle, studying my face. ¡°This was her doing. That is a brave girl you raised. Clever too, to be carrying on with Sun Wukong like she does.¡± ¡°The monkey king?¡± He had just come to heaven before I met Niu Qiang. I only remembered the budding tales of his mischief and the ire he raised amongst the court officials. He was extremely unpopular. ¡°She could not be better protected.¡± Meng Po topped off another cup and handed it to me. ¡°Which is good, because if Muzha and Erlang Shen discover what she is trying to accomplish, they will hand her over to the emperor, and monkey might end up back under a mountain.¡± My stomach twisted as a memory struggled to surface. ¡°What does Muzha have to do with this?¡± ¡°Drink,¡± she ordered, tipping the cup to my lips until I swallowed it down. ¡°He still tries to improve his rank, by gaining favor with the emperor.¡± She shrugged, ¡°And Erlang Shen has an over developed sense of justice that is easy to manipulate.¡± ¡°Muzha,¡± I said his name again, a handsome face coming to mind. I thought we had been friends. She gently took the cup from my hands. ¡°You did not know him as well as you should have. Do you remember that night?¡± The fire in my stomach turned to nausea as I recalled Erlang Shen grabbing me when I had gone to draw water. I clawed and fought. I called out for aide, but it was Muzha who quieted me. ¡°Would you draw the mortals into your punishment?¡± ¡°You did this?¡± I asked turning to face him. ¡°How did you find me?¡± But Muzha did not reply, holding his jaw firm. Erlang Shen glanced back at the sound of my name and dragged me skyward as Niu Qiang came into view, the children close behind. Muzha turned to them, and I was flown away unable to hear his words. ¡°We could have killed them in the emperor¡¯s name,¡± Shen said. ¡°Consider it a mercy.¡± ¡°A mercy,¡± I whispered, my last drink still stung my throat. ¡°Hmm, there has not been enough of that,¡± Meng Po said. ¡°Liko?¡± My mouth was dry, though I had finished three cups of the tincture. ¡°Has passed over my bridge many times, he¡¯ll be due again soon. If we are lucky, perhaps you will see him again.¡± I was fraught with memories submerged for thousands of years. I rubbed my hands together nervously before speaking his name. ¡°Niu Qiang?¡± She gave a gentle smile. ¡°He was here not long ago. We had a similar conversation, but it will take quite a bit more tincture before either of you might remember during your next lives. Maybe sooner for you since you were once immortal.¡± ¡°How much longer do we have ¡­?¡± Words overwhelmed me. . The old woman lifted my chin and winked. ¡°Not long, if Jiang Li succeeds.¡± Jiang Li-After the Punishment Jiang Li My childhood memories are muddled by traumatized perspective and the passage of time, so please forgive the errors I might make. I will tell this tale as quickly as I can before my memories are stolen from me. I hope that by writing it someone will learn something from it, I cannot guarantee that I did by living it. The start of my story¡ªthe relevant part anyway--begins after my parents were taken away. To tell a linear story is difficult for someone who has lived outside of earthly timelines, but I will try. Liko and I were forgotten in the great hall of the Imperial palace. I embraced my little brother while he cried in confusion, unable to comprehend that we were alone, save for each other. Someone motioned to us, drawing the Jade Emperor¡¯s gaze. I covered Liko¡¯s eyes and stared back defiantly, staring my fate in the eyes, just as Zhilan had done. ¡°What of them?¡± His voice shook the walls and silenced those around us. The Empress Mother placed a calming hand on his arm. Her eyes brimmed with tears. ¡°They called her mother.¡± She whispered. The emperor scowled; his cheeks still flushed with emotion. ¡°They are no kin. Just carrion that fed upon our daughter. Cast them back to earth and let them fend for themselves.¡± The muttering of the other gods echoed in the marble hall, even they knew it was wrong to sentence children to their deaths. My defiant, and naive, ten-year-old self continued to stare at the emperor as he stared back. I did not care about my rudeness, nor did I know that people had died for much less. He slammed his fist on the table, knocking cups to the floor. I flinched but returned to glaring at him, and held Liko a bit tighter. The emperor looked like any other man, a little bigger, and a little meaner, and dressed in clothes finer than any I¡¯d ever seen, but still like any other man. A woman stepped between us, blocking my view. Her long white robes billowed around us, as she faced the emperor and gave a formal salute. ¡°I will tend to them.¡± Her voice was honey, thick and sweet. There was a long silence, as the Queen Mother leaned to the emperor, speaking in low tones in his ear. The emperor cleared his throat and waved his hand dismissively. ¡°As you wish. Let it be known that these children are under the care of Guan Yin.¡± His chair scraped the floor as he stood. ¡°Let my daughter¡¯s name never reach my ears again,¡± he said before storming out. Queen Mother lingered behind, looking at Guan Yin with teary eyes before nodding and exiting quietly. The other immortals moved towards the palace doors, casting sad glances our way. The woman in white turned and knelt before us. Liko¡¯s crying ceased as he stared at her. Guan Yin¡¯s beauty is something only children can really appreciate. It is the beauty that every child sees in their mother before they realize she is not divine. But this woman was divine, and she radiated goodness. Wiping the tears from Liko¡¯s cheeks, she lifted him into her arms. Taking me by the hand she led us from the hall, through elaborate, winding gardens. Brightly glowing sprites waved as they flew through the flowers and lingered on the skin of the ponds. It seemed a long walk until we reached an ivory palace and ascended the marble stairs. She settled us in a small room, speaking kind words and soothing our frightened hearts. ¡°Sleep, Liko,¡± she said and brought a warm cup of almond tea to his lips. His eyes grew heavy, and he drifted off, hugging his pillow in his small arms.If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement. ¡°Drink, Jiang Li.¡± She handed me another cup. I swirled the draught inside and frowned. ¡°Are you poisoning us?¡± She smiled. ¡°Zhilan must have told you stories of heaven.¡± ¡°Only a few.¡± ¡°I would never harm either you or your brother. It is a simple drink to calm your aching hearts.¡± The warm scent was enticing. ¡°Could this help my parents too?¡± Her smile wavered. ¡°No. They are beyond my healing now.¡± ¡°Will you be able to heal them someday?¡± I asked, watching her as I drank. ¡°I don¡¯t know. If they are lucky, perhaps someone will help them break their cursed cycle.¡± Her voice was soft, but I thought I understood the meaning of her words. ¡°Could I help them?¡± She took the empty cup from my hands and brushed the hair from my face. I curled beside Liko, his lips puffing with each breath, as she pulled the blanket over my shoulders. ¡°Perhaps,¡± she said cautiously. ¡°But it would take a great deal of devotion from you.¡± I closed my eyes as her cool fingers drifted across my brow. Behind my eyelids my parent¡¯s faces stared back at me. ¡°You must be very brave, LiLi.¡± It was my father¡¯s voice I heard. ¡°I am brave,¡± I whispered as sleep embraced me. # When I woke the following morning, Liko was eating breakfast with the other residents, Lung Nue and Shan Tsai. Nue appeared to be a teenage girl, but she was older than I will ever be. Black dragon scales inked up her arms to her neck and hairline, leaving only her round, friendly face clear of color. She reminded me of some of the inked tribes from the south that would come through the village occasionally, but with much finer clothes. Nue was sent to heaven by her father, the Dragon King of the Eastern Sea, with a gift for Guan Yin but had chosen to become her disciple. The gift, a bright pearl that shone in any darkness, was kept in a place of honor in the palace entrance. Lung Nue¡¯s gentle manner often caused people to underestimate the strength of her heritage. Shan Tsai was reserved and walked with a limp, he was friendly but not overly so, preferring to keep to his routine and dissociate from too many personal attachments. Tsai and Nue had been living quietly here for a millennium. They gave us a tour of the palace, where every room was varying shades of white with few furnishings. The bright curtains billowed from a low breeze and, when Liko needed to empty his bladder, they showed us a room where water came from long metal tubes straight into the bath and held a seat with a bowl under it. Guan Yin met us in the gardens, dismissing our new friends to their duties. She sat along the stone wall of the first of a series of ponds filled with colorful lotuses and water lilies. The blue and green sprites zipped from one pond to the next on dragonfly-like wings, pausing to examine us curiously. She motioned me to join her while Liko explored the surrounding areas and laughed at the sprites. Although she assured me that we were safe, I watched my brother nervously. Her hands were rough and calloused as she held mine tenderly. They reminded me of father¡¯s hands, but so unusual on such a beautiful person. I took comfort in that small feature. ¡°Jiang Li,¡± she said, ¡°we must make some decisions this morning.¡± I nodded. ¡°How to save father and Zhilan.¡± She smiled gently. ¡°We can¡¯t do anything about that yet. We must decide what is to happen with you and your brother.¡± She patted my hand at the confusion on my face. ¡°Liko is too young to stay here, and he deserves a chance to have a normal life.¡± I watched the boy run by, chasing a blue sprite as it zipped through the air. My vision blurred as I nodded. ¡°Where will we go?¡± ¡°You have an uncle and aunt who will raise him as their own. They will give him a good life. A normal life. They have prayed a long time for a child.¡± I wiped my eyes, fighting to keep the tremor from my voice. ¡°What about me? Does no one want me?¡¯ She cupped my face in her hands, ¡°I want you.¡± I fought my tears as a weight pressed upon my chest. She tilted her head. ¡°Do you still wish to save your parents?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± I sniffed as Liko ran by again, giggling as three sprites tugged at his ears and hair. ¡°It could take a very long time and a great deal of work.¡± She met my gaze and said stoically, ¡°It could kill you, or worse. And you can never tell anyone outside of this house about what you are doing.¡± Liko ran up and wrapped his arms around me. ¡°I can do that,¡± I said. In retrospect, I couldn''t fathomed the depth this commitment would take. I hugged Liko, patting down his hair and whispering, ¡°Will he remember?¡± She shook her head slowly. Liko was gone by the afternoon. Guan Yin explained that because time moved so rapidly on earth compared to the heavens, he had to go before his youth became suspicious. She said we had already been gone three quarters of a year. I hugged him one last time, told him to grow strong and healthy and do his best to make our parents proud. Liko cried and refused to leave until I promised him that I would see him again, knowing that was a lie. Thus began my service to Guan Yin. LiLi and the Monkey King Guan Yin set a firm routine in place for me the following day, so there was little time to grieve. I woke at sunrise and prepared a simple breakfast for myself, Lung Nue and Shan Tsai. We took turns wiping our dishes and cleaning the kitchen. From there I tended the ponds and gardens, pulling weeds while the official gardeners patiently showed me how to relocate plants that were struggling and shooed the sprites away. After that I had lessons on writing and composition, mathematics, and history with an old man named Wang Lao Shi, who was impatient with my ignorance. I was allowed time for a mid-day meal followed by more lessons on science, music, and-when I could stay awake for it-philosophy. Guan Yin dined with us most evenings, teaching us etiquette, and asking thought provoking questions to challenge our reason, and I was dismissed to bed each night just after sunset. After a week I noticed that I could never find Guan Yin during the day. Shan Tsai explained that she worked in the world all day, answering as many prayers as she could, or comforting the grieving. He spoke with such reverence that my understanding of who she was shifted. Yet, she was available for me when she was there, inquiring after my studies, complementing me on the gardens, though I knew the real gardeners tended them in the afternoons. Once a week the goddess would ask, ¡°Do you still wish to save them?¡± I always give her the same answer. The days turned into weeks; the weeks turned to months until one night Guan Yin woke me from my sleep. She sat beside me and took my hands. ¡°Liko¡¯s life is nearing its end. Do you wish to see him before he goes?¡± ¡°What happened to him?¡± Her expression was soft. ¡°He has reached the end of his mortal life. He grew strong and well, married, and had many children. He became a wealthy merchant known for his charity.¡± ¡°But¡­¡± ¡°One hundred and forty-five years is a very long life by all accounts. We can thank the remnants of Zhilan¡¯s love and qi for that. Liko made good use of each day and he lived well.¡± She had told me that time was different here, but I couldn''t understand how he could be gone so fast. ¡°Would you like to see him?¡± she asked. I wiped my tears on my sleeve. ¡°Yes, please.¡± ¡°Close your eyes,¡± she said. ¡°Open them.¡± We stood outside a grand house with ornate flying eaves on the roof. Lantern light streamed out through a partially open window as the snow fell around us. ¡°How did we get here so fast?¡± I asked. ¡°Only the gods can travel freely between the realms. The others, the soldiers and fairies, either have to go with one of us, or beg the imperial horses to take them. I travel so often, that it takes less than a moment." She shrugged. "Other gods have different means.¡± The frozen ground crunched beneath my feet as we neared the home and peered inside. The room was filled with the lamentations of men, women, and children. A withered man lay upon a bed, his wrinkled face strained with each labored breath. When his eyes blinked open, I knew him as my brother. ¡°Liko.¡± I covered my mouth as his name evaporated in the cold. He turned toward the window, whispering to an old woman who ordered the window open. I stepped back but Guan Yin caught my arm. ¡°Only he will see us.¡± He struggled to sit up, his relatives wailing for him to be still, but he did not listen. My stubborn little Liko looked out at me through suddenly clear eyes. ¡°Jei Jei,¡± he whispered and gave a wide, toothless smile. Those gathered around him looked past us out the window. ¡°Liko,¡± I said, seeing tears in his eyes. ¡°You kept your promise,¡± he whispered in a voice as dry as an autumn leaf. A series of wracking coughs shook his frail frame as a woman assisted him to lay back upon the bed and covered him with blankets. He closed his eyes as his breath turned to failing gasps and shudders that grew longer apart. The family shut the window and whispered their confusion at his calling for a sister he''d never have. Guan Yin rested a steady hand on my shoulder. ¡°We should leave before the Diyu soldiers come to collect his soul.¡± And with that, my brother was gone, leaving my chest hollow with grief. I stumbled through the next week only half aware of my surroundings. The heaviness in my limbs resulted in halfhearted work at the lotus ponds, picking weeds and fussing at the sprites whose charm had worn thin. My thoughts were thick and I could only give Lao Shi wrong answers. I kept to my room, avoiding Lung Nue and Shan Tsai with the irrational fear that speaking of my grief would somehow be an acceptance of my loss. I cried alone, rather than sitting in the sun or eating.Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit. On the seventh day, Guan Yin came to me. ¡°You must move on.¡± ¡°My brother¡­¡± ¡°Has been gone for over seven years now. Even his descendants have moved on.¡± She brushed the hair from my face, a small frown worrying her brow. ¡°Do you regret your decision? I could still arrange a normal life for you if you wish it. Meng Po could wipe your memories and you could have a family and a long, healthy life.¡± I bit my lip. ¡°What of father and Zhilan?¡± ¡°They would go on as they have been.¡± Her tone carried no judgement. ¡°They would want you to be happy.¡± ¡°Who would save them?¡± She pursed her lips. There was no one else. The emperor¡¯s judgement stated specifically that no one born of Heaven could help them and, other than Lung Nue, Shan Tsai and myself, there was no one else. ¡°No. I will stay,¡± I said. "I have to help them." She squeezed my hand. ¡°Take the afternoon for yourself. Go to the stables. Wander the grounds and gardens. Do not stay where the light cannot reach you any longer.¡± I followed her through the door, but she disappeared before the it closed. I wandered the palace grounds, beyond the ponds, moving past the enclosure of Guan Yin¡¯s simple gardens and pocketing a few apples from the orchards before making my way to the stables. The grooms were grumbling about someone neglecting their duties and discussing what to do about him. But there was a hint of fear in their voices, neither of them wanted confrontation. The tall, grey horses ate my offerings as they regarded me with annoyed curiosity. I wondered if they had ever smelled a human before, but they ate the apples just the same. Sitting under the shade of a pear tree in midafternoon I closed my eyes, the hollowness in my chest suffocating me under heaven¡¯s golden rays. Though I was disconnected from my homeland, and all who knew me were gone, here seemed almost worse. I understood how little I mattered to the gods, who flashed curious sideways looks at me as if I were a graceless novelty. Self-pity brimmed my eyes and slipped down my cheeks, softly at first, then escalating to full sobs with ragged breath. A pear dropped beside me. A moment later, another one hit my foot, followed by a small laugh from the branches above. Large brown eyes starred at me above pinched features, the boy''s head tilted curiously. Not a boy, a monkey. He clung to the tree trunk with one arm, reddish-brown fur in contrast to the greenery of the leaves. He lifted another fruit and flung it, striking my shoulder as I was too stunned to catch it. Something inside me boiled. My cheeks turned hot. I launched the fruit back at him. ¡°Stop it!¡± He easily dodged my first assault, but the next throw hit him squarely in the chest. One dramatically placed hand landed over his chest, where the pear had struck him. He laughed before dropping to the ground in a crouch. Standing slightly taller than me, he swayed shyly and offered me a pear. A long tail swooped behind him. ¡°Why are you so noisy?¡± He rubbed his fist against his eyes and frowned. Taking the fruit, I shrugged. My throat tightened. His sharp teeth tore into the unripe pear, followed quickly by a disappointed frown. He tossed it over his shoulder, spitting the remainder onto the ground and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. He motioned around us. ¡°We are in Heaven. Shouldn''t you be happy?¡± I handed the fruit back to him and he sniffed it suspiciously. ¡°I know but¡­¡± my words trailed off into sobs which only made me angry at myself. He grabbed my hand and pulled me along. ¡°I¡¯ll show you something.¡± I didn¡¯t argue, his childlike manners reminded me of Liko and I took comfort in his directness. We stole figs and persimmons as we dashed through the orchards until we came to a tall, stone wall. He pulled me down behind a bush, motioning to a gate where two Heavenly guards were posted. ¡°We can¡¯t go in there,¡± I whispered. ¡°Who says?¡± He smiled at me conspiratorially. ¡°Don''t you want to see what¡¯s inside?¡± I looked at the wall, at the guards, at the tips of branches that brushed the top of the wall forty feet above. I knew I shouldn¡¯t. Guan Yin would disapprove, but I nodded anyway. His eyes widened with glee; his smile too enthusiastic to be trusted. ¡°Hold on.¡± Wrapping my arms around his waist we rose upward until we were deposited along the top of the wall. I balanced precariously. Rows of trees, taller than any of the pines that grew back home, spread out before us. The monkey jumped, landing on the nearest branch, and scampered to the trunk. Turning back, he motioned me to join him. I gazed along the wall, then mistakenly looked down. The world spun. ¡°Come on,¡± he hissed. I shook my head. ¡°I¡¯ll catch you.¡± My legs trembled as I took a breath and jumped. I slipped on the branch as my hands scrambled to find hold. But he caught my arms and hauled me up beside him. We climbed amongst the branches, and I forgot my sadness. Perching on a thick branch, I watched my new friend scour several trees before returning to my side. He held out a peach and flashed a mischievous grin. ¡°Are we allowed?¡± I rolled the soft fruit in my hands. Something about this felt wrong, but its smell made my mouth water. He shrugged, taking a bite, and speaking through mushy peach flesh. ¡°If we weren¡¯t, they should have done a better job guarding them.¡± ¡°I couldn¡¯t have gotten in here without you.¡± I chuckled and shook my head. ¡°Who are you?¡± He wiped his hand on his pants and took another bite. Juice trickled down his chin. ¡°You should already know. But I''ll forgive you since you are so young.¡± The branch bounced under his feet as he stood and postulated. ¡°I have many titles: Mei Hou Wang, Bi Ma Wen, Shi Hou, Sun Hou Zi, Sun Wukong.¡± He counted them off on his fingers. ¡°A few more than that, but you can call me Hou Zi, if you want.¡± I smiled, repeating the name. ¡°I¡¯m Jiang Li.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll call you LiLi,¡± he said decidedly. He pointed to the fruit in my hand. ¡°Are you going to eat that?¡± I handed him the peach, looking out across the orchard and smiling. The breeze rustled the hair on his cheeks. ¡°Thank you, Hou.¡± ¡°Hou Zi.¡± ¡°If you can call me LiLi, then I can call you Hou. Or would you prefer ZiZi?¡± I asked. He narrowed his eyes but shrugged, handing me the pit of the peach as he slipped another one into his pocket. ¡°We should plant these somewhere. It doesn¡¯t seem right that these trees should be only here, does it?¡± I nodded, trying not to think of my old home and the plum trees that bloomed every winter. ¡°Why were you crying?¡± Hou asked. ¡°My family is gone,¡± I said softly, trying to quell the tremor in my words. ¡°I am alone here.¡± He scooted closer, swinging his legs in sync with mine as he gently nudged my shoulder. ¡°Not anymore.¡± No One Remembers What the Gods Make you Forget There have been so many endings that I sometimes forget about the beginning. It is a sad truth that if it were not for my mother¡¯s death when birthing Liko this story wouldn''t have happened, and I would have died four thousand years ago. But I am not dead yet. Along the banks of the Li River, south of what is now known as Guillen in the Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region of China, lived a widower and his two young children. The infamous fairy tale of the cowherd and the weaver girl occurred just before Zhilan met my father and was the catalyst for the severity of the punishment they received. That fairy tale was passed down as a warning to stay in your place; neither love above, nor below your station. If you disobey those limitations, then your love will bring you sorrow. Have you ever considered why some stories become legends and some are eliminated from human awareness? Of course not, for you do not remember what the gods do not want you to. The tales of gods being humiliated are wiped from our collective memories. But if they wipe out too much then they run the risk of being forgotten themselves. So, the gods dole out terrible punishments then hide their brutality behind fabricated stories and legends. Legends are like gossip--the longer they exist the more details change from one generation to the next. For my story, I will give you a summary of the beloved narrative of the Weaving Girl and the Cow Herder. But know that it is comprised of two stories, the one you know and the one that has been hidden from you. Once there was a poor boy named Niulang, a cow herder, who was clever, diligent, and honest. The boy had nothing but an old ox and each day he worked the fields with it. The boy¡¯s ox was an immortal that was punished by heaven to live like an ox on the earth. One day, the ox said to Nuilang, ¡°If you want to get married, go to the lake, and your wish will come true.¡± The Cow Herder went to the lake and saw seven princesses descending from heaven. The girls undressed and bathed in the water. As they were enjoying their bath, a strong wind blew the youngest princess¡¯s clothes away. The seventh daughter of the emperor was good at weaving clothing, her name was Zhinu, but she was known as the Weaving Girl. The other princesses left after their bath, but the youngest could not return without her celestial clothes. The boy picked them up and returned them to the princess. Fascinated by the beautiful princess, Nuilang asked her to be his wife. The princess, tired of heavenly privilege, longed for a mortal life and agreed to his proposal. They lived happily and had two children in as many years. As everyone knows, one day in heaven amounts to one year of the mortal realm. As the family was enjoying a peaceful and happy life, the heavenly royal family noticed her missing after two days. They traced her to the village and forced her to return to heaven. While the Cow Herder watched his wife being dragged away, he became increasingly distraught. His children cried at the loss of their mother. Suddenly, the old ox told him he was dying and to use his hide as a flying carpet to catch up with his wife. Nuilang thanked the ox and, with a mournful heart, slew the ox. Gathering the princess¡¯s celestial clothes, and placing his children in two bamboo baskets, they chased the princess through the sky seated upon the ox hide. When Queen Mother saw Cow Herder closing in, she took out her golden hairpin and drew a line across the sky in front of him. Instantly, the line became a star river known as the Milky Way, which kept them separated. Zhinu was forced to move to the star, Vega, and Nuilang moved to the star, Altair. Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. Out of compassion for the couple, flocks of magpies gather and form a bridge for them to meet on the evening of the seventh day of the 7th lunar month. This is the only day that the emperor allows them to meet each year. It is said that it is hard to find a magpie on Chinese Valentine¡¯s Day in China because all magpies fly to heaven to create the bridge for the couple. Each year on that day people search the night sky for the stars of Nuilang and Zhinu, hoping to see their annual reunion. Honestly, most of these old tales were written by men with inappropriate social skills who wanted to keep their daughters and sons in line. Zhinu was a goddess, and she couldn¡¯t find her clothes? She could have woven new ones out of air or clouds and could have killed Nuilang for his audacity. Suffice it to say that the original story has stolen elements of the more tragic fate of my parents. No, Zhilan did not birth me or Liko, but she healed and loved us and mothered us along with Jiang O¡¯Huang. Zhilan showed me that family is more than blood. We lived in between the karst peaks that jutted to the sky like broken swords, where the clouds lingered around their tops well into the day, and mist rose like a dream from the water each morning. The resilient plum trees bloomed in the winter, when one had almost given up hope of feeling warm again, followed by the gentler blooms of the cherry trees in spring. My father, Niu Qiang, was a thirty-year-old widower struggling with an infant son and sickly daughter. He would float onto the hazy Li River upon his bamboo boat each morning and return in midafternoon to tend fields that would not grow. We had one ox and one horse but, sadly, neither of them flew. The neighbors whispered that our family was weak, that I was too fragile to last another winter, but father proved them wrong and though we did not thrive, we lived. A year after Liko was born and mother died, father took us to the riverbanks in the evening to pray to her soul and show our respect. One evening, as the sun dipped toward the horizon and we rode the horse to the river, the wind carried the cries of sorrow toward us. Father rushed ahead and, when the old horse plodded through the clearing, he stood with a beautiful woman. She was tall and regal with black hair that hung to her waist pulled up in a half topknot like a crown. Her belted long shirt and gown were a vibrant blue. They spoke for a long time and when father returned his face had changed. He introduced us to her before we left and I felt her eyes upon our backs. For weeks after, he spent increasing time on the river while his behavior changed in ways I did not understand. He laughed more, there was a lightness in his manner as he hummed during his work. Although our situation had not changed, my father¡¯s perception of it had. One morning, father did not leave. Instead, he spent the day cooking a large meal and set me to clean the house. Dust swirled in the air as I swept, when a voice came from outside. Father watched me with the tentative concern of a parent as I opened the door. Zhilan, the woman from the river, greeted me with warm eyes. She had come to dine with us and did not leave until five years later, when she was forced to. Everything she touched grew strong under her care, but I would not understand that until years later. My brother and I, our crops, our horse, even the river itself, grew healthy and bountiful. After Zhilan shared her qi with me, my frailty turned to health, and I bloomed like one of those plum trees in winter. ¡°You are my soul¡¯s daughter now,¡± she said as she tucked us in bed one night. ¡°Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.¡± It was nighttime when the heavens reclaimed Zhilan as she went to draw water. We heard her scream and watched her being flown away by a giant man. Another man asked father if he wanted to pursue them. Father, in his panic at losing the woman he loved, hastily agreed but insisted on taking his children. I do not remember the first time I was carried by a god; I only remember my father¡¯s stricken face and Liko¡¯s crying. We didn¡¯t know our home was lost, or that each of our fates would be altered that day. Bi Ma Wen Hou Zi quickly became my favorite friend. Whenever I had a break in my schedule I would find him, sometimes in the stables but, more often, doing something he wasn¡¯t supposed to. Climbing sacred trees, invading the palace kitchens, or slipping through windows. He would often try to give me hair pins, or fine slippers, but I refused them when he would not tell me where or whom he took them from. We both grew taller and stronger. He whispered secrets that he didn¡¯t tell anyone else and spoke of his island home, promising to take me someday. We played games and read books while telling me of his adventures before he came to Heaven. He taught me how to get the celestial horses to like me, but it was obvious they only tolerated me because of him. Guan Yin cautiously watched our friendship but did not discourage it. The fairies and sprites whispered of his arrogance and tempers flared at his neglecting his duties. When I asked him about this, his response was classic Hou Zi. ¡°Who are they to presume they are superior to me? They attempt to humiliate me by placing me in a position below my station. They call me Bi Ma Wen to insult me, but I will show them how strong I am.¡± He grinned. ¡°Do you want to come with me?¡± Knowing Hou also came with the knowledge that whatever he was planning would not end well. ¡°I can¡¯t. I have a promise to keep.¡± ¡°To Guan Yin?¡± He shrugged. ¡°She¡¯ll understand.¡± I shook my head, not bothering to counter that she would definitely not understand. ¡°To my parents. If I don¡¯t keep my promise¡­.¡± I stopped short as his face fell in disappointment. He tossed his half-eaten dragon fruit away and I placed a soft hand on his arm. ¡°I want to come with you, but I can¡¯t.¡± He stared at my hand on his arm. ¡°Will you come visit my home someday?¡± I patted his arm. ¡°I promise.¡± He sat a little taller then said mischievously. ¡°Want to see what I am going to do?¡± I shivered. ¡°I¡¯m afraid.¡± He flipped the hair from my shoulder and laughed. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t be. You have always been my friend.¡± ¡°I¡¯m afraid for you.¡± He laughed harder. ¡°Be afraid for them.¡± I shook my head. Still, I didn¡¯t scold him, it was obvious his mind was made up and I knew him well enough to understand that he would not be dissuaded. And if things didn¡¯t go well, I did not want him to harbor resentment toward me. ¡°Be safe, Hou,¡± I said. He patted my hand and looked away, his tail flicking behind him. ¡°I don¡¯t know when I will be back.¡± My throat felt thick, the words clumsy in my mouth. ¡°Don¡¯t be gone too long, it¡¯s not the same without you.¡± I had been at my studies for only an hour or so when the heavens erupted in chaos. I rushed from Guan Yin¡¯s palace as the enormous celestial horses thundered across the imperial grounds. Their massive hooves trampled everything in their path as servants and gods alike attempted to reign them in. Tianma, the emperor¡¯s favorite stallion, reared up on a servant. Using the sounds that Hou had taught me, I moved toward him as he landed. He nuzzled my hand and snorted at its emptiness. The servant thanked me and quickly ran after another horse as I stroked Tianma¡¯s neck.Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon. ¡°He did this, didn¡¯t he?¡± I whispered before turning the horse toward the stables. A tall figure blocked my way. With his coal black hair pinned in a general¡¯s guan, and cheekbones sharper than a knife¡¯s edge, he studied me as I froze. I knew Muzha strictly by reputation, there was usually a fairy or two that was crying over him every other week. And, although he was stunningly handsome, I already knew that he was too acquainted with its rewards to be trusted. ¡°How did you do that?¡± Muzha asked, he had never glanced at me before. I gave a polite bow. ¡°Hou Zi taught me.¡± He sneered. ¡°Bi Ma Wen? He¡¯s the one who released them.¡± I kept my expression passive as he continued to stand in my way. A black horse thundered past but Tianma neighed, and the horse slowed to a trot, circling back to us. ¡°You should help round them up,¡± Muzha said dismissively. I wondered if it was a humiliation to demand assistance from the weakest creature in heaven. ¡°Let me take them back and gather some apples,¡± I said. Muzha stepped aside, visibly relieved, though Tianma nipped at him as we passed. The rest of the day was spent bribing a dozen horses into compliance. Muzha attempted the words that Hou had taught me, but that only served to irritate the horses. His face reddened each time they nipped him, and I pretended not to notice and stifle my amusement. Dirty and disheveled, I lay in bed considering Muzha¡¯s cheekbones and full lips, and I understood a little of why the fairies pined for him. But when I thought of Hou, I smiled. My friend was a talented troublemaker, but no one had been hurt and he had escaped. All the gods were summoned to the Jade Emperor¡¯s palace the next morning and I snuck away from my chores to overhear the orders issued against my friend. ¡°¡®The Great Sage Equal to Heaven¡¯, have you ever heard such blasphemy?¡± The Jade Emperor¡¯s voice boomed through the palace doors. I covered my laugh; Hou had been demanding that people call him that for years. Some of those assembled shouted for his execution, though a few cautioned reason. Taibai Jinxing, known for his diplomacy, advised against rushing into military action. ¡°What if force doesn¡¯t succeed? Wouldn¡¯t that harm the reputation of Heaven?¡± As he spoke the muttering quieted, and it became obvious that, until then, no one truly believed Hou was anything other than a monkey stable boy. ¡°What do you suggest?¡± the emperor asked. ¡°Recognize his new title,¡± Jinxing replied. Someone protested but Jinxing raised a hand for silence. ¡°Consider this a meaningless title, take it as a joke, or think of him as a pet if you need to. It will greatly please the monkey and he must be convinced to return to heaven before he causes trouble on earth.¡± After little debate, everyone agreed and Taibai Jinxing left to meet Hou Zi and offer deference--insincere as it was. Guan Yin was waiting for me outside my rooms when I returned. ¡°Walk with me,¡± she said. We strolled through the only gardens left untouched by the horses. The brightly colored sprites flitted around us, playing with my hair, and tickling the back of my arms. ¡°What did you think of the hearing?¡± she asked, not pretending that I hadn¡¯t heard. ¡°It makes me sad for him,¡± I said after some thought. ¡°Why?¡± ¡°What he wants most is their respect and yet they refuse to give it. This is worse than being a stable boy, at least that was honest,¡± I said, shaking my head. ¡°They called him a pet, as if he were not one of them.¡± Our feet kicked along the path as she sighed. ¡°He is not one of them, Jiang Li,¡± she said. I turned to her, my voice rising. ¡°Of course, he is. He is immortal, he is powerful. He can move between the realms.¡± ¡°But he does not submit to the same constructs that we do. He is disobedient and selfish. How can he be one of us when he does not try to be one of us?¡± I quieted, that was not the Hou I knew. ¡°So, he must submit in order to earn their acceptance?¡± ¡°Perhaps,¡± she said. ¡°But perhaps not even then.¡± ¡°I think Lao Tzu would disapprove,¡± I muttered. Blue and green sprites landed on the petals of a white lotus when we neared a pond. They watched Guan Yin as she spoke. ¡°Tell me what you know of the lotus.¡± ¡°It¡¯s resilient, prefers clean water but can grow in mud. It can be eaten or used for medicine,¡± I said. ¡°Did you know that the lotus represents connection between the earth and heaven? It grows from the darkness toward the light,¡± she said. ¡°Some people see it as the spiritual journey of the soul, from egotism to something more.¡± I studied the flower. ¡°What are you saying?¡± ¡°Hou is still in the mud, but he will rise toward the surface.¡± She stroked my hair. ¡°All he needs is a bit of sun to lean toward.¡± I bit my lip, thinking. ¡°Are you saying that everyone else, all the other gods, have already risen to the surface?¡± That thought contrasted with the behaviors I had seen. They were angry and secretive, often petty and mean. Hou, Lung Nue, Shan Tsai, and Guan Yin were the only ones I cared for. She shook her head. ¡°No, they are no better than him. And their beliefs that they are is only egotism.¡± She patted my hand. ¡°Hou Zi will suffer, but he will fare better knowing he has a friend here.¡± The Peaches of Immortality Hou returned two weeks later. A little taller and a little thicker. He bragged about his new role of guarding the peach orchard. I laughed. ¡°Do they know how much you love those peaches?¡± He winked. ¡°I neglected to tell them.¡± ¡°This isn¡¯t going to end well, is it?¡± I asked. I held my tongue about what I¡¯d heard in the palace the night he left. Those words would send him into a rage but, more importantly, they would hurt his feelings. Instead, I placed my hand on his arm while we sat together on a low tree branch. ¡°Don¡¯t leave again,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s lonely without you.¡± He stared at my hand, before covering it with his own. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut short when someone yelled my name. As Muzha wandered into view, Hou bristled beside me. The hair on the back of his neck rose as his eyes narrowed. From the depths of his throat a low growl grew. ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± I said. ¡°I know him.¡± I hopped down from the branch, Hou landing behind me. The smile faded from Muzha¡¯s face as he stopped. ¡°What is he doing here?¡± ¡°I have every right to be here,¡± Hou said, stepping between us. ¡°In the stables, maybe,¡± Muzha said, ¡°or guarding the fruit. But what are you doing here, Bi Ma Wen?¡± Hou barred his teeth, his tail flicked in warning. ¡°Please,¡± I whispered, ¡°The only way he wins is if you react.¡± He glanced toward me before spitting at Muzha¡¯s feet and storming away. I took a heavy breath. ¡°Is there something you need, my lord?¡± Muzha looked smug and I wanted to punch him. ¡°I wanted your assistance with one of the horses.¡± ¡°Did one of them escape?¡± ¡°No, nothing like that,¡± he said, scuffing his foot on the ground. ¡°I want you to ride with me.¡± I froze and considered either vomiting or running. Muzha may have appeared only a few years older than me, but I knew it to be thousands. He was popular with the fairies and young goddesses and, whether he knew it or not, was infamous for his casual disregard and cruelty. Nothing good would come from an association with him. I took a step backward, deciding that vomiting would take too long, and prepared to run. ¡°Leave her be.¡± A feminine voice came from behind me, and I dropped to my knees as the Empress came into view. She lacked her attendants but was donned in her usual regal robes. Muzha bowed deeply. ¡°Empress?¡± ¡°She¡¯s too young and too fragile. Find your amusement elsewhere,¡± she said dismissively. ¡°Be on your way, Muzha.¡± He gave a curt bow and vanished around a hedge. ¡°Pick yourself up,¡± she said. When I stood, the great goddess was gone and Hou stood in her place, cackling wildly. I brought a hand to my thudding heart. ¡°Hou?¡± He laughed, barring his teeth. ¡°Did you see his face?¡± Hou¡¯s laugh was infectious, and it took several minutes to compose myself. ¡°Why did you do that? Imitating one of them could get you punished.¡± He shrugged. ¡°I don¡¯t like him. You don¡¯t need friends like him,¡± he said, then scratched his chin and added, ¡°You don¡¯t need friends other than me. ¡°Does my friendship with Lung Nue bother you?¡± I asked as we walked toward Guan Yin¡¯s palace. ¡°No. She¡¯s nice to me.¡± ¡°What about Shan Tsai?¡± ¡°Hm, you could do without him,¡± he said. ¡°He is my friend too,¡± I said. ¡°You are my only friend here,¡± he said. ¡°So, I should be your only friend.¡± I stared at him. ¡°Hou, that is not friendship. You must share your friends, or you might lose them.¡± I lowered my voice. ¡°No one likes being controlled.¡±If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. He frowned, opened his mouth to reply but then shut it again, considering my words. We walked quietly side by side until it was time to return to my rooms. Each day was the same, though my morning meditations with Guan Yin were now teachings on understanding qi and the subtle balances of yin and yang. She gave me stances and forms to move the energy through my limbs and organs until my head ached from concentration and my belly burned with fire. Muzha didn¡¯t ask me to go anywhere with him again but would occasionally seek me out for one reason or another. Hou often tapped at my window after sunset, and we¡¯d walk under Chang e¡¯s moon and talk about what we¡¯d done that day. I didn¡¯t ask how it was going with the orchard, the fairies complained that he was rude and refused to share the peaches. When I asked him about it, he grew defensive. ¡°Do you want me to go hungry?¡± ¡°There are other foods to eat.¡± ¡°I like peaches,¡± he said, then sighed. ¡°There¡¯s a banquet tomorrow night. Do you want to come with me?¡± ¡°I wasn¡¯t invited. It wouldn¡¯t be wise for me to go without permission,¡± I said sheepishly. Hou shrugged. ¡°I wasn¡¯t invited either. We could go together.¡± He puffed up his chest. ¡°I could protect you, if you are worried.¡± I shook my head. ¡°I can¡¯t risk it.¡± He huffed. ¡°Would you go if Muzha asked you?¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°I bet you¡¯d go with him,¡± he said. ¡°He¡¯s not human either, you know, just because he looks more human than me doesn¡¯t mean he is.¡± I glared at him. ¡°No, I still wouldn¡¯t go.¡± ¡°I bet you would,¡± he muttered. My face grew hot. ¡°What are you doing?¡± I demanded. ¡°I thought we were friends.¡± He stood a little taller, slipping an image of a handsome young man with dark hair between us. ¡°Is this better?¡± I frowned. ¡°No. I like you the way you are.¡± The image fell away, and a warm smile softened his face. ¡°I like you too.¡± We walked back to the palace in awkward silence. It would be years before we would see each other again and I would reflect on that conversation many times. What could I have done to steer his behavior in a better direction? Should I not have told him I liked him the way he was? But, in the end, I had always known his presence in Heaven would be short lived. He was too much of an individual to stay within their constructs and he delighted too much in being difficult. The night of Empress Mother¡¯s peach banquet all Diyu broke loose. When the gods arrived, all the food had been eaten, and all the wine was gone. Lung Nue, Shan Tsai and I were ordered to stay in the palace and out of the way while everyone searched for the drunken monkey. There was yelling and screaming from the surrounding grounds. I hugged my knees and cried, not knowing if I would ever see him again. Everyone refused to speak of the monkey king to me, even after celestial soldiers were sent to bring him back. I heard in whispers that after a mighty battle with one of the gods, he was captured and dragged back to heaven. If I¡¯d known what they did to him then, I would have sat beside that kiln they¡¯d locked him in and offered him a few kind words. But I hadn¡¯t known and Hou had to suffer alone. A month later, a familiar tapping at my window woke me. Hou stood in the darkness, his fur singed and his eyes blazing red, looking more demon than monkey or man. ¡°Hou?¡± I scrambled through the window to reach him, but he stepped back. ¡°What happened?¡± ¡°Did you not know?¡± His voice barely rose above a growl. ¡°What happened to my friend?¡± ¡°No one would tell me anything.¡± I extended a hand, but he snarled, and I flinched back. ¡°Are you alright?¡± He ran a hand through his dirty fur and shook his head. He studied me, tilting his head like a curious dog, as if seeing me for the first time. He held up a black cord, a vibrant green jade ring dangled from it. ¡°I brought a gift.¡± He tied it around my neck while the smell of his burnt hair made my eyes water. ¡°Jiang Li, do you still like me?¡± I knew the ring was stolen but the air between us was too thick to question. ¡°Yes, Mei Hou Wang, I still like you.¡± ¡°I like you too.¡± He patted the side of my head sadly, his fingers rough against my skin. ¡°And that is why we can¡¯t be friends anymore.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t understand.¡± My vision blurred. ¡°What are you saying?¡± ¡°We aren¡¯t children anymore. I will live a long time, and you are just a human girl.¡± He stroked my hair as his eyes dulled to embers. ¡°If you were to come with me to Fruit and Flower Mountain, you would fade away before a year had passed here. I won¡¯t watch you die, and, because of this, we cannot be friends outside of Heaven. You and I cannot live in the same world.¡± My voice cracked. ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°I am leaving and not coming back.¡± He dropped his hand. ¡°I can¡¯t get attached to something so fragile.¡± He turned and walked away, his singed tail dragging the ground. ¡°Where are you going?¡± I asked. He didn¡¯t answer, so I yelled his name, but he did not reply. I picked up a rock and hurled it at him, striking him in the back of the head. He didn¡¯t acknowledge it. ¡°Hou Zi!¡± I shouted, caught by a rush of anger. ¡°I don¡¯t need you.¡± I threw another stone, hitting his shoulder. ¡°I have plenty of other friends. I don¡¯t need you.¡± The next stone missed him by a foot as my vision blurred. ¡°I hope¡­ I never¡­ see you again¡­you stupid¡­monkey.¡± My words broke into sobs as he disappeared, and I curled on the ground and wept. Soon after Guan Yin scooped me tenderly into her arms. She didn¡¯t discuss Hou nor ask what happened between us. No one mentioned the monkey king for a long time and I, the selfish girl that I am, kept the jade ring to myself, wearing it only at night in case it was noticed. # ¡°It¡¯s time we spoke about your parents,¡± Guan Yin said soon after. ¡°The best chance we have of catching them, and the only time they are near each other, is near the end of their lives. Unfortunately, they are either killed by natural disasters, or in brutal battles. Nature is too unpredictable to risk your life. So, that means we must prepare you for battle. Today your training begins.¡± ¡°What about my studies?¡± I asked. ¡°You will study how the world changes and focus on the knowledge needed to survive in it. Your education and chores will continue, as well as your physical training. I have selected a shifu specifically for you.¡± I swallowed nervously. ¡°What if he doesn¡¯t want to train a girl?¡± ¡°The Lady Fu Hao will be pleased to train you.¡± ¡°A woman?¡± I asked. ¡°A general who is well trained in martial arts. She has trained soldiers and won battles. Do not waste her time,¡± she said. ¡°Dianxia (term used for noble lady), I will make you proud.¡± She patted my shoulder. ¡°You must make yourself proud.¡± Lady Fu Hao Fu Hao was slim and wiry, with a firm but warm demeanor. She did not speak of her life, though I suspected that she was more than a general, a priestess or a queen, based on her manner. Every day I rose two hours before sunrise to meet her on the training grounds adjacent to Guan Yin¡¯s palace. First, we focused on breath and qi, creating energy with intention, and putting me through various forms inspired by animal movements. Each animal--crane, deer, bear, tiger, and monkey--related to the five elements and impacted the yin and yang of the internal organs. After a month of this training, which was half lecture, half painfully slow movement, she had me imagine that I was rooted into the ground and knocked me down repeatedly. I dodged and blocked her attacks pushing and pulling my qi as she instructed. But when I had succeeded in evading her hits, she swept my legs from beneath me. Two months later she handed me a staff to utilize for defense and how to use my smaller size as an advantage with larger opponents. Our sparring resulted in deep bruises, more than one concussion, and several broken bones. But each night Guan Yin would offer me a cup of her healing water and by morning I would be ready to start again. Physical pain was a regular part of my day and there were many nights I considered Guan Yin¡¯s offer, convinced that I would never be good enough. Then the jade ring would warm my chest and I would hold it, inevitably thinking about Hou and determining to prove that I was not some fragile thing. Lung Nue whispered that Hou Zi was trapped under a mountain as punishment, and I pretended not to care. Though his rejection still stung, my heart was glad that he was alive. Even if he was a jerk. The second year with Fu Hao was harder, though I doubted that was possible. She recruited heavenly guards to assist in my training, or humiliation as I like to think of it. I was humbled daily as several of them delighted in my weakness. Hu, Park, and Guirin were three of the more patient guards and offered words of encouragement as they batted at my strikes as if they were playing with a pup. After I got the better of Hu, more by accident than skill, Guirin broke my nose, three ribs, and dislocated my shoulder. But they all started calling me Mei Mei after that. Lady Fu Hao shrugged and said simply, ¡°You won¡¯t know what you will be facing, and must prepare for each opponent to be meaner than the last.¡± I learned the eight limbs, striking and kicking with hands, elbows, feet, and knees. My shifu taught me which pressure points to hit to do optimal damage, and how to use someone¡¯s momentum against them. With the staff I learned to strike and thrust, to spin and use it to vault. Each night I rolled into bed bloody and exhausted, and each day I did it again. Fu Hao was unyielding in her expectations, but she was fair, and often kind. Her words were encouraging and steady, and whenever I was injured, she tended me herself until Guan Yin arrived.Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author''s preferred platform and support their work! We trained on horseback, and I don¡¯t remember a day when I wasn¡¯t sore. The celestial horses were irritable, and I had to utilize everything Hou had taught me while trying not to think of him. I learned I had no great talent for archery which, though I hit the target, Fu Hao would point out that my aim was no good in battle. I heard the frustration in her voice as she set me to continue until the fletching made my cheek bleed. In two and a half years I grew a little taller and much stronger but still felt inadequate for the greater task before me, knowing that my parents lived and were slaughtered on earth. In the meantime, I studied mathematics, geology, and languages that would be dead in a millennium. I studied strange cultures that did not worship the gods I knew, learning their politics, their stories, and their music. Guan Yin made me learn the Suona (a double reed instrument that is played for the living and the dead). Sometimes I wish I had learned the piano or the cello but those were not options then. Maybe I will learn them in my next life when all is said and done. In the mornings I sat in meditation with Lung Nue and Shang Tsai, who often made breakfast for me before I went to the training grounds. And, though I did not love it, it did calm my mind. It was only in the nights when sleep would not claim me that I thought about Hou Zi and wondered if he ever thought of me. Muzha visited the gardens regularly, sometimes with a fairy or two trailing behind. He asked why I trained like a man when I should be learning more courtly skills. I stuck with Guan Yin¡¯s explanation, that I hoped to be a heavenly guard one day. He laughed and shook his head but did not openly mock me. Nue cautioned me against Muzha, saying that he was only a distraction. I felt the truth in her words but found myself watching for him each day and smiling a bit too much when he attended to me. I laughed too hard at his wan attempts at humor, then chided myself for being inauthentic. Guan Yin spoke to me after dinner one evening. ¡°It¡¯s nice to be noticed, isn¡¯t it?¡± My cheeks burned. ¡°I know you are lonely,¡± she said. I opened my mouth to protest, then closed it and nodded. ¡°Is saving your father and Zhilan the most important thing to you still?¡± she asked passively. ¡°You could still have a regular life, if you wish it.¡± I paused, tasting the words before I spoke. ¡°It is what I must do.¡± She clutched my hands, our hands grown similar in their roughness. ¡°This is the most difficult part of your training,¡± she said. ¡°Distractions will naturally arise, and you are growing tired of the harsh routine set before you. But you must be stubborn with your intention each day. If you cannot overcome the simple desires of attention and flattery, then you will fail.¡± I bit my lip. I had wanted more--to flirt with someone handsome, and wear something other than armor and servant¡¯s garb. I envied the fairies that lounged in the orchards and were entertained by someone who doted on them. But I knew that was not my fate. No matter how much I occasionally wished it. ¡°I¡¯ll never be like the other girls, will I?¡± ¡°No,¡± she said. ¡°But why would you want to be? Lung Nue was never like the other girls, neither was I. And I think there are plenty of girls who feel like that no matter their circumstances." She smiled gently. ¡°I began my service at an early age, much like yourself. It was not easy to do what needed to be done, and sometimes it still isn¡¯t. But I have never regretted my service.¡± Her eyes shone. ¡°When you decide that you don¡¯t need to be like anyone else, you have the freedom to be so much more than labels and self restriction allow. Guan Yin patted my hand. ¡°Then you can make your own fate.¡±