In the short time I knew her, she was never worthy of being called a mother. The only time I felt her warmth was when she still had hope I wasn''t my Appa''s daughter. I want to believe that I still remembered the warmth of her sweet words being whispered to me, but that would be a lie. Her warm words became as sharp as knives the second I was born. I wasn''t who she had expected. I wasn''t a constant reminder of her love; instead, I was a reminder of her obligation.
She never held me close, not once. It was the whispers that taught me that she had changed from the loving kind Amma to the woman who wouldn''t even look my way.
Even if I didn''t have her, I had my Appa. For the first years of my life it was he who took care of me while mother took care of growing up and learning her role, it was he who fed kind words into my heart and taught me to be gentle, kindhearted, and to hold no resentment towards her.
When I was six years old, he thought it was time to explain to me in simple words, why she was cold only to me.
He had met mother when she was already in love. He said he pitied her because she had fallen unconditionally in love with a young boy who accidentally stumbled across the tribe. It was a romantic story with me as it''s tragic ending. Appa told me that he was unable to intrude when he noticed that they loved each other much more that he could imagine. That one day he followed her into the forest where she would meet with him and saw the way that even their silence was full on comfort.
They continued to meet in secret and their love grew as much as it could before it was announced that she was finally as the appropriate age to marry. She was to marry someone else from her tribe and quickly meant to birth her child so that when she reached her age to succeed the position of the head, she would not have to worry of trivial things like baring a child, and that person was my Appa, who was special for having pureblood in him.
He was the eldest son of the chiefs second in command. It was only natural for him to marry her, even if there was a big difference in ages. This only added onto the list of reasons why he pitied her. Because although it was normal for someone her age to get married, He was two times her age and felt it was wrong to him. He felt like an intruder to her life.
She said it to him like a mature woman would. That she would never come to love him because she had given her entirety to someone else.
As their wedding date came closer, she grew desperate to find a solution and not marry but the pressure had been too much on her. She couldn''t choose between her love and her people, so he made the decision for her and told her he would never come back and she appreciated him deciding for her.
They spent one last night together before parting ways, and on that night she gave herself to him in all the ways she could. They never met each other after that night. No matter how many times and nights she went back for him, he never came back for her.
Despite her sadness she followed through with her duties, and of course a month later news of her being with child was celebrated. Things did not seem bad yet. Although it did hurt her, she had hope in her heart that perhaps the child she carried would have the same eyes her lover had, and that although she might not have him she would still have the seed he left her. Months went by and she cherished me and sang me words of love day by day, until I was born.
She, who had the highest hopes for her love child; was left in the biggest state of deception and anger. Her child did not look like her lover. I was born with her red eyes but with Appa''s pale white hair a trademark of the pureblooded in our tribe, something not even she had. But I was not the seed her lover had left so pureblooded or not, I wasn¡¯t worthy. It was Appa who named me Neriza. Gods gift. Although I lost her love that day, I gained Appa''s love who had already promised to love me unconditionally even if I hadn''t been his daughter.
After Appa told me the story, I wanted to paint her as a good person who had simply fallen in such a big love and it had been my fault for not being who she had expected. Had I been the daughter she loved, things would have been different. And I spent two years thinking that way trying to impress a selfish woman.
When I was eight, Appa passed in his sleep. He had always been someone with poor health but there was a significant decline during that year. She who turned her face whenever she saw us together had a very dull expression on her face. She looked bored to even behold such a ritual for someone who was so insignificant to her. Appa was sent away with the flames the way he had wished, and I remained there wishing to leave along with him. Perhaps things would have been easier if I had let my body dance along with the flames the way I know she would have preferred.
She didn''t hate Appa, I found that out when I heard her cry privately. Yet she detested me, after years of a stupid love towards a man who still chose to leave her, she hated me, I was a part of her, I was a part of the good man Appa was, yet she hated me.
I had run into her room and there she was, wiping her tears away for the friend she had lost. I couldn''t help my anger.
"Don''t cry!" She stared at me intently. All signs of sorrow were washed away with her typical scowl when she realized it was me.
"Don''t cry for him! You don''t have the right to cry for him! You hate us so you don''t get to cry!" Her silence remained. refusing to break the silent vow.
"You can only cry for him if you love me." She started to walk towards me to reach the door and get away from me.
"Amma." She stood still.
I thought she would leave immediately. My heart was trembling on the verge of breaking all it would need to mend was a single word coming from her.
She turned to look at me. I tried to search in her eyes any sign of remorse. But she was a cruel selfish woman who would never love me. Her expression was a mean one. Like if she found it so funny that I would call her that.
"Please Amma." I still begged because I was on the verge of breaking into pieces. Appa was no longer with me, and there was no one left, I thought we would see eye to eye.
She didn''t say a single word and she left me instead.
I didn''t speak to anyone. Appa was not my only family member, there were plenty others I could stay with and that''s how I was taken care of. I was moved from home to home intruding their homes because there was no one else like Appa. During this time she took care of the village, she was the perfect leader, so perfect that everyone started to say that I was the problem, the reason why she couldn''t love me. Slowly, they spoke to me less and less and I learned to enjoy my loneliness. I spent hours between the trees. I embraced nature and befriended animals. It got to the point that I stopped returning back to the village. Instead I made my own little shelter where my friends would stay with me and I ate the fruits the forest would grant me. I learned to be happy on my own and on occasions I would ask the gods to send my Appa my messages. If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.
No one came looking for me.
Not until the devil came for me.
I wasn''t going to go back but it felt like if my heart was begging me to go. I wasn''t there for too long when multiple men in heavy armor barged in with their horses. I hid immediately. They felt intimidating and it was clear they meant to scare us.
I was still curious to know what was going on, or at least I was until he appeared. He was a man whose presence made me start trembling in fear. He got off his horse and stood tall and strong. His hair was grey making his older age evident.
The tribe, nestled deep within the forest, had just completed a sacred blessing ritual for our Gods . The air was thick with the scent of burning herbs and the vibrant colors of flower petals adorned the ground around the central ritual area. The flickering flames from the ceremonial bonfire cast an otherworldly glow on the faces of the tribe members, their eyes reflecting both devotion and serenity.
He walked closer to our chief, her father. The clearing, surrounded by ancient trees and lush foliage, was a sacred space where generations of the tribe had gathered to commune with their gods. The sounds of rustling leaves and distant calls of forest creatures were abruptly replaced by the shocking swish of the man''s sword.
I expected them to speak. It wasn''t the first time people from other lands came across us, but we always joined cultures. This time, there was no speaking when the man swung his sword across and slashed our chief.
It was as if everything went completely silent. She, who was standing next to him, stared in disbelief at her father''s headless body. The clearing, once filled with the harmonious sounds of the ritual, now echoed with the gruesome aftermath of the interruption. The sacred energy of the place seemed to wane as panic set in.
Suddenly taking everyone out of the state of shock, her mother, who stood on the other side of the chief, let out a shattering scream, and everything seemed to move slowly. The tribal symbols painted on their bodies glistened with a mix of sweat and ritual oils as they attempted to comprehend the tragedy that unfolded.
The men on the horses all moved in a synchronized, terrorizing way. A group moved towards the tribe''s homes, set amidst the towering trees, and brought them to flames while others with their swords continued to kill the people, beheading them. The cries of anguish mixed with the popping and crackling of burning structures, creating a dissonant symphony of destruction.
The cruelty was endless, but while all that happened, the only person I could really focus on was her. Amma¡¯s mother was screaming and crying at the death of her husband, and before the sword touched her, Amma had already turned, running away.
The man was decided. He simply hurried his step and reached out when his fingers wrapped around her hair and pulled her back.
The King, a towering figure of dominance, held her by the hair, his grip ruthless as her desperate pleas echoed through the chaos of the tribal clearing.
"Please! Please! You said you''d let us all go if I gave you the child!" She begged on her knees, the ground beneath her dampened by a mixture of tears and the spilled blood of her people.
The flickering flames from the burning homes cast an eerie glow on the scene, emphasizing the terror etched on the faces of both captor and captive. The air was thick with the stench of destruction, and the sounds of crackling flames competed with her desperate cries.
"What will you do now? Your people are dying." He almost laughed at her despair.
"T-tell them to stop, please!" The agony in her eyes mirrored the destruction around her, a once vibrant and sacred space now reduced to chaos.
The man maintained his cold stare. His armor gleamed in the firelight, and the twisted satisfaction in his eyes betrayed his malicious intent.
"You don''t have anything you can offer me; there is nothing of yours I could want." His disdainful tone resonated with cruelty, emphasizing the vast power imbalance between captor and captive.
"But we had a deal! I gave you my very own blood, and it helped you!" Her desperate words hung in the air, a futile attempt to reason with a force that had no interest in mercy.
"It wasn''t strong enough to jeopardize my power." The king''s indifference cut through the chaos, each word driving home the harsh reality of their situation.
"Then-then let me live!" Her pleas intensified, her voice cracking as she fought to maintain a semblance of composure.
He simply stared at her, his gaze an unyielding force. The clearing, once a sacred haven, now bore witness to a tyrant''s judgment, and the forest seemed to hold its breath in anticipation.
"The child?" The king''s question hung in the air, a sinister proposition that cast a chilling shadow over the woman''s desperate resolve.
"Yes, yes! I''ll give her to you! She has the purest blood! The first pureblood in years!" Her admission, a sacrifice offered in the face of unspeakable horror, reverberated through the night.
"If you bring her to me, I''ll consider it." The King''s voice, tinged with malevolence, carried the weight of impending doom, and the forest whispered with a sense of impending tragedy.
"In the forest! That''s where she spends her time." The woman''s words, spoken through choked sobs, revealed the sanctuary where I, the innocent target of their cruel exchange, sought refuge from the merciless onslaught unfolding in her homeland.
I could only understand some words. It was one of the languages Appa was teaching me. Yet seeing another group of men head into the forest helped me tie things together. They were looking for me.
I tried to stay completely still in the place where I was hiding in. It was where I would hide every time Appa and I played. I begged the Gods and my Appa to keep me hidden from the eyes of those men, but it was too late; I was already in the devil''s mouth. The barrel I hid in, meant for storing ritual supplies, became my sanctuary amidst the chaos, the scent of sacred herbs lingering in the air. The shadows of the surrounding trees danced with the erratic movements of the tribe members, and the once serene forest now bore witness to a tragedy that would forever scar its sacred grounds.
Hours passed like slow, agonizing eternity. The once-proud tribe, now reduced to a mere handful, knelt in defeat before the ominous figure seated on the makeshift throne. The glow of the flames danced on tear-streaked faces, casting ghastly shadows that mirrored the haunting reality of their demise.
My desperate bid for safety was within grasp, the dawn approaching with promises of a new day. But as my eyes met the twisted joy in her gaze, I felt the crushing weight of betrayal descend upon me. The firelight revealed a wicked delight, a stark contrast to the destruction surrounding us.
In a frantic attempt to escape the impending nightmare, I burst from my hiding spot, yearning for the elusive sanctuary of dawn. But the cry of my name, haunting and desperate, chased me through the night air, marking the futility of my escape.
"Neriza!"
I skidded to a halt, the traitorous woman reveling in my capture. Rough hands seized me, pulling me back into the heart of the horror. I thrashed, screamed, and fought, only to discover that my resistance was a mere puppetry, a spectacle for the sadistic commander''s amusement.
"Here she is! As I promised! But let me live!"
"Proditor!" echoed through the clearing, a venomous accusation hurled at the traitor. The realization struck hard¡ªmy perceived strength had only fueled the commander''s sadistic pleasure. The woman, driven by years of resentment, delivered a resounding slap across my face, the sound echoing the finality of our betrayal.
"Morieris" - the word hung in the air, an omen of death. The commander''s signal released me from their grasp, but the nightmare persisted. An unseen figure, lurking in shadows, revealed himself as the true puppet master, his sword swiftly impaling our once-proud leader.
"A good leader dies with its people."
The grisly spectacle unfolded as lifeblood sprayed across my face. The ritualistic beheading, a macabre confirmation of our leader''s demise, left a trail of carnage across the sacred clearing.
Amidst the horror, I stood, trembling with fear as the inexorable approached. The commander, pausing with cruel reflection, spoke words dripping with malice and disdain.
"The little mouse has finally learned her place." He wove a twisted narrative, painting my mother as the embodiment of cruelty. Yet, in my blood-stained face, he saw potential¡ªa potential he intended to twist for his own dark ends.
"Your mother was ready to throw you to the wolves, she was a bad mother, a bad leader, and a terribly bad woman."
"Yet you seem to be the complete opposite. Like you will grow to be an excellent woman, a good mother, and even a good leader. But that''s too bad."
His sword traced a cruel path across my face, the swift motion and splattering blood creating a gruesome spectacle. Clutching my neck, I attempted to stem the unyielding flow of blood.
Just as suddenly as my blood hit his lips, I felt the bleeding stop. I tried desperately to find the wound, but it was gone. When I looked up, the man''s eyes met mine at the same time. I felt fear¡ªfear that I would not die that day, because his sinister smile hinted at the malevolence to come, the once-sacred forest bore witness to the beginning of a harrowing journey into the depths of darkness.
This was only the beginning.
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Chapter Five
Chapter Five
The people of our tribe were renowned as the Rubrum Tribe. This name stemmed from the bright red tone of our eyes, vivid as blood. Our affinity for adorning everything with flowers and reveling in the verdant hues of the forest was a testament to our embrace of the colors we inherently lacked as our skin was ever so pale. However, the idyllic scene of vibrant greens and delicate blossoms had transformed into a nightmarish scene, with headless bodies now trailing behind horses, stained by the earthly brown of dirt, the foliage''s green, and the crimson of their own spilled blood.
A disquieting numbness gripped me. My body, now bound and callously flung onto the back of a horse, bore witness to the overwhelming scent of blood emanating from the gruesome procession led by The King. The air hung heavy with the pungency of their spilled life force.
My tears continued to fall down my face, and sobs I couldn''t hold back would come out loudly. Yet, they chattered and laughed, too focused on their conversation to even acknowledge me. The dense forest enveloped us, its thick canopy casting shadows that danced on the forest floor. Hours were passing. I wasn''t sure of how many exactly, but it was long enough for my tearless body to faint in exhaustion. The rustling of leaves and the distant calls of unseen creatures provided a haunting lullaby to my misery.
What woke me was the brutal fall I took when the man in charge of taking me pushed me off the horse, treating me as if I were also one of the lifeless bodies. I whined in pain, my shoulder in excruciating pain as it was out of its place. The smell of damp earth and the cool breeze of the forest surrounded me. He and the others around chuckled at the sight of my pain. I couldn''t even focus on understanding their words because of the pain. My head felt hot, and I could see small lights floating around. I was going to faint. My body fell back, and my head wouldn''t stop ringing. The men continued laughing, and all I wanted was to lose consciousness, to fall dead. But I couldn''t. I still had more to suffer before I could go.
Another man joined, but he wasn''t laughing like the others. His eyes had humanity within them. The filtered sunlight through the thick foliage above highlighted his concerned expression. The rustling leaves and the occasional creaking of tree branches seemed to accompany his presence. His hand reached down to my head the way Appa would do it, caressing me softly. His mouth was moving, but I couldn''t understand. Then it happened, he had taken my hurt arm and had applied pressure to the point that I stopped breathing with the pain I had never before felt but once he let go I could finally breathe again. I was left on the floor resting and daylight waned, casting long shadows around us, and the forest seemed to echo with the symphony of the approaching night.
My lungs rose and fell to the rhythm of the crisp air, a soothing cadence that mirrored the gentle sway of the surrounding trees. The forest, now shrouded in the twilight hues, cradled me in its cool embrace. Shadows danced upon the leaves, casting an intricate pattern on the forest floor beneath me. If only I could die here, letting the ethereal symphony of the night be my requiem. To surrender to the tender caress of Mother Earth beneath me, I clutched the ground, fingers pressing into the soil as if to merge with it. The dirt slipped away between my trembling fingers, a poignant reminder of things slipping beyond my grasp, much like everyone else scurrying away to leave me behind. The cruel knights, indifferent to the melancholy of the moment, had lit a fire nearby, its flickering flames casting eerie shadows on the trees. The crackling fire served as a stark contrast to the serenity of the night, a testament to the brutality that surrounded me. As I lay on my back, tears, like silent witnesses, spilled from the corners of my eyes and trailed down my neck, the forest bearing witness to a soul burdened with grief.
Everything died down, yet I remained frozen in place, too scared that even the slightest movement on my part would serve as a stark reminder to them that I was still alive. However, it wasn''t necessary for me to move; they knew all too well that I was alive. As the night deepened, the eerie silence was disrupted by approaching footsteps that grew steadily louder, drawing closer to my prone body lying in the cold shadow. Two men emerged into my line of sight. The forest, once a refuge, now harbored a lurking danger as they approached me.
"Wanna run away?" One of them asked me in simple words, recognizing that complex language wouldn''t be understood by me.
A spark of hope ignited within me, momentarily erasing any desire for death. The prospect of escaping filled my thoughts. If given the chance to run, I believed I could make it. I required nothing more; I already knew how to survive within the shelter of the trees.
"Get up," they ordered. My body had already healed, yet I felt an unexplained heaviness, a warning to remain where I was. Despite this, one of them forcefully pulled my arm upward.
"Now run." Without any more hesitation, I understood the urgency to flee. I sprinted as fast as my feet could carry me, ignoring the pain as they pounded against the ground. I fervently prayed to all my gods to let me be free.
Yet, as always, it seemed the gods intended for me to endure suffering. I tumbled face-first onto the ground when something struck my feet, entangling them.
The very men who had granted me a fleeting reprieve; approached with laughter, exchanging jokes.
"I think we''re far enough now." He looked me dead in the eye. "Hold her down."
I didn''t know what was coming, but my body knew it was bad. I tensed up completely as they got closer and tried even more desperately to free myself. When I realized it wasn''t working, I attempted to crawl away. It was futile. They pulled my foot back, dragging me to the flat ground. I thrashed around, attempting to get them to release me, but they wouldn''t. Instead, one of them sat down on my legs, pinning them down. I could feel puke make its way to the back of my throat as I felt so scared of what was to come. Everything was happening so fast, I couldn''t even properly react when my garments were being ripped off my body. I wanted to fight but the other one put his knee on my back to hold me down. My body was exposed to the cold air and I couldn''t even breathe. All I wanted was to go home. I started to sob. I cried like a little girl. I wanted my Amma. Because no matter how cold her eyes were she never hurt me this much.
Suddenly, with a whistle of the wind, everything went silent. Two thumps echoed, and then their heavy weight fell on top of me, drenching me in a warm liquid. I pulled myself away, crawling wildly, covering my body and catching my breath, but it was hard. I couldn''t stop crying and panicking. I hadn''t even registered what had happened. But I did recognize the man with humanity in his eyes standing by, watching me with pity in his eyes. He leaned down to me, and I could see my Appa in him. I wasn''t able to stop myself from throwing my body into his arms. The moonlight filtering through the trees cast a surreal glow on the traumatic scene, amplifying the stark contrast between the brutality of the attack and the brief moment of solace in the stranger''s arms.
''''There there, shhhh" His gentle voice comfort me as he cradled me in his arms. My body felt so small and fragile and he held me as if I were so delicate that any wrong movement would break me.
An hour or two passed by before he decided to stand. He didn''t say anything else to me, and I didn''t respond. Instead, I enjoyed the comfort of his arms while it lasted, knowing it wouldn''t last much longer. I could see small specks of light floating around in the solace of the night.
It was short-lived. The familiar spot came into view, but it felt different. I knew I could only expect the worst, but things felt a bit different. It was because in his arms, I felt safe. I felt calm. But I wasn''t going to fool myself. This man was not on my side. He brought me back after all.
He didn''t set me down on the ground; instead, I was sat on the horse, and he sat behind me, still managing to keep me in his embrace.
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The others were also packing their things. It seemed they had decided to keep moving forward through the night, realizing the others were missing.
No one made comments; no one even looked my way as we passed by them. As if I were nothing. Not even a pest.
We journeyed through the rest of the night and into the day. Upon reaching the border of the forest, the sun began to peek through the leaves, casting a warm glow on my shivering body. Despite my initial desire to remain ignorant of the world beyond the trees, curiosity about the city overcame me.
I struggled to feign disinterest, but my eyes betrayed my fascination. The city sprawled before me, a stark contrast to the serene forest.
My reverie was interrupted when the man who had assisted me barked out orders in a language I couldn''t comprehend. The knights at the back of our group emerged, dragging in the bodies of those fallen.
A wave of nausea hit me as I remembered the grisly procession of bodies trailing behind us. They obediently followed orders, arranging the bodies along the trees, forming a macabre border that encircled the forest. It dawned on me that our blood was to serve a purpose similar to how we used it¡ªa protective barrier preventing creatures from entering our village. It was a divine gift, now utilized to safeguard the city.
I couldn''t bear to witness the completion of this grim task, as we were compelled to move forward.
Entering the city was a vibrant experience. The lively atmosphere, adorned with extravagant flowers, echoed with cheers and expressions of gratitude as we passed through on our way to the palace.
It didn''t take long for me to notice the faces of disgust whenever their eyes lingered on me. My unique appearance¡ªwhite hair and red eyes¡ªset me apart in a city where no one resembled me. To add to the alienation, my clothing was stained and now adorned with dried blood.
I timidly hid back into the man.
The entire way back was the same. The festivities never died. On the contrary. It seemed they would last days. Celebrating the return of The King. Celebrating the creation of the barrier. Celebrating the massacre of my family.
I almost forgot I was a captive.
We continued our way up, eventually passing the temple and reaching the palace. It was grandiose, to say the least.
As I stood outside the majestic palace, its sheer size and intricate architecture left me in awe. Towering spires reached for the sky, adorned with delicate carvings that told stories of a rich history. The entrance itself was a masterpiece, with grand doors that seemed to welcome those who approached.
The palace garden stretched out before me, a lush expanse of greenery and vibrant blooms. A symphony of colors painted the scene, as if nature itself had carefully chosen each petal. The fragrance of flowers wafted through the air, creating an enchanting atmosphere.
If only I''d been allowed to stay where it was beautiful.
We made our way to the back and It was strange. I felt as if I could just be forgotten, as if I could just run and they wouldn''t even run behind me, but I knew that wouldn''t be the case.
The King had me present in his mind. Conversations echoed between men, their words shrouded in a code that eluded my understanding. There was a sense of futility in deciphering their communication; nowhere to run, and they were well aware of it. It seemed designed to confuse, a mere prelude to what awaited me.
With a sudden, forceful motion, I found myself hoisted onto someone''s shoulder. There was a strange acceptance within me, an eerie surrender devoid of resistance.
Closing my eyes tightly, I braced myself for the unknown.
The footsteps echoed through an indeterminate passage of time until, finally, I was ushered into darkness. Unlike the beauty I had witnessed before, this place was the utter opposite¨C old, dark, and abandoned. The scent, reminiscent of my family''s bodies and my own, lingered heavily, like the essence of dried blood. Descending a staircase, each step reverberated through my aching body, the anxiety mounting with every descent. What awaited me at the bottom?
The culmination of our descent revealed nothing more than a cell ¨C a desolate, lightless chamber exuding dampness. This surpassed my fearful expectations. Death would have been a more merciful fate. In the forest, even in the darkest night, the stars and the moon adorned the sky, preventing the total immersion into darkness.
"Please, no!" I pleaded, clinging desperately to the man''s arm as he deposited me on the ground.
His response was a harsh shove, casting me onto the cold floor. The cell door clanged shut, leaving me alone in the suffocating darkness.
Time lost all meaning in that dark place.
I''m not exactly sure how much time had passed when I began to lose myself, but I was certain that a significant amount had slipped away. Initially, I tried to keep track of time by mentally doing things I knew would take me until midday to complete. In my mind, I immersed myself in the forest, feeling the sunlight kiss my skin. Even with my eyes open, I could vividly picture it. However, the darkness around me began to mold itself into the contours of my memories, and this persisted for about two days.
On the third day, hunger and thirst gnawed at me. I couldn''t help but wonder when I would be released, nurturing a faint expectation that the kind man would come to my aid.
On that very day as well, a sound pierced through the oppressive silence ¨C the rhythmic, echoing drip of water. I blindly followed the sound, discovering a source from which water was slowly trickling down. It momentarily quenched my thirst, yet my persistent hunger left me weakened, and soon, my movements ceased altogether. Despair settled in, accentuating the bleak reality of my confinement.
I had been too desperate to realize that this would only prolong my suffering. If I had just remained still, the entirety of my agony would have ended then.
I had no concept of time when a woman slowly, in a fearful way, made her way down. I couldn''t even move. I only stared. A lit candle guided her steps and illuminated the dark hole I was in. I wanted to sit up and look around, but I couldn''t.
"Goodness, that smell!" She shrieked in a high-pitched voice, disrupting the complete silence that had embraced me.
What happened next was unknown to me. I lost consciousness in the comfort of no longer being alone. When I awoke, I had been moved onto a bed that was much further from where water kept dripping, and candles illuminated the dungeon. The horrors of the dungeon were now more visible, with damp walls and a chilling atmosphere that seemed to seep into my very bones. Yet I felt grateful to no longer be stuck in such darkness.
My gratefulness didn''t last long when I realized the gruesome image of my body covered in now dried up blood.
Realization kicked in when I recognized the new found strength in my body. This blood wasn''t mine yet I could recognize the smell. The smell of the winds breeze moving the trees that surrounded us, the smell of the fire reaching the skies for the gods we worshipped and the rain blessing us with its downpour. The blood of my people covered my body.
All my emotions resurfaced with newfound intensity. I screamed and cried, tightly holding my body together, afraid I''d crumble if I loosened my grip.
This cycle persisted for a long time¡ªa relentless loop of starvation, followed by the cruel act of cutting my hand to replenish my strength by pouring my own blood into my mouth. They refused to let me die, opting instead for this sadistic game of experimentation.
After a year had passed, the woman in charge of me, for the first time since my arrival, brought food. I felt confusion, I wasn''t on the verge of death, yet she was here. As she descended the stairs with the food, accompanied by a guard, my overwhelming joy at the prospect of a meal overshadowed any attempt to understand her words. I didn''t mind when she tossed the food on the ground in front of me.
Had I been more attentive, I might have noticed the guard approaching with a dagger. He wasn''t gentle about it, but it was fast enough. My thigh started to profusely bleed and I began to move back holding my leg trying to stop the bleeding. It was no good. The guard pulled my leg and dragged me towards him, my head hit the now bloodied floor.
"No! No!" were the only words I could scream out. The woman now moved to hold my body down, but it was evident that what they wanted wouldn''t be easy if they continued to be aggressive. The maid proceeded to take a different approach.
Suddenly, I was being embraced tightly from the back. She held me so tightly, and it felt warm. It completely interrupted my body. I didn''t know I had been so hungry for affection.
I held onto her arm that wrapped around my chest tightly. I didn''t want her to let me go.
I managed to writhe my body around and clutched onto the maid''s body as the guard proceeded to collect the blood.
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