《Carl and the Giant Corpse》


 Chapter 1: Father’s Flesh Flower

    Carl woke up one morning to find that his father was blue. His face was blue, his lips were blue, even his eyes had a tinge of blueness to them where the whites used to be. Father generally took on a more white-ish, pink-ish hue, Carl recalled, so this was abnormal. What was even more abnormal was that he was dead.


    And he was growing.


    Father expanded like a balloon, filling with gas until all of the details in his limbs and torso were gone. He became a swollen, blue balloon animal. Carl would have preferred a balloon dog, he thought, or even a snake. But Father didn¡¯t stop there. He expanded and expanded, far beyond the size of a normal person, until he nearly filled the entire bedroom, only leaving Carl a tiny spot of floor to cower on ¡ª then he took that away, too. Father sprung up like a Jack-in-the-box and his inflated belly towered over Carl and crept towards him. His back was pressed against the wall; there was nowhere to run. Father¡¯s belly button bloomed open like a fleshy flower and grabbed Carl¡¯s hand, sucked in his arm up to his shoulder, and swallowed him whole.


    <hr>


    Carl had never been inside of his father before, at least not that he could remember, and he was not impressed. He didn¡¯t like it very much at all. The lighting was horrendous, for one. The only light was a dim orange glow high above him ¡ª the morning sun shining through Father¡¯s outstretched belly, he presumed ¡ª and he almost wished that there was no light at all. He couldn¡¯t see more than a few inches in front of his face, but everything he did see was wet, goopy, slimey, sloppy, and it all smelled like sour goat¡¯s milk.


    He plugged his nose and stumbled around a bit, annoyed, hoping to find an orifice to climb out of and return back to the adequately-lit, neutral-smelling real world. A glob of something warm and jiggly fell from the ceiling and onto his shoulder while he walked. Trying to brush it off just got it all over his hands, and trying to get it off of his hands just matted it into his Sesame Street pajama pants. The matching Cookie Monster slippers on his feet became more and more saturated in god-knows-what with each step, so he kicked them off and went barefoot. The feeling of his father¡¯s intestinal lining rising up between his toes gave him the heebie-skeebies, but Carl was a brave boy and marched on.


    With no real destination in mind, he walked forward, taking things one step at a time. He couldn¡¯t tell where he was going, exactly, but he had the vague sensation that he was moving upwards. That was a good sign, he thought. Maybe he could reach the stomach-ceiling and pound on it until help arrived. It was wishful thinking to say the least, but it was all that kept him going.


    However, his optimism waned with each squelching step. By now, he was sure that he was moving upwards, but the faint light above did not seem to get any closer. In fact, it looked like it was getting farther away. Was he moving away from it, or was it moving away from him? He studied the light as he walked, watching it grow dimmer and dimmer, which is why he didn¡¯t notice the steep drop ahead of him, and walked straight off a cliff.


    Carl fell and landed face-first on a mound of¡­ something. The something was soft and pliable, just like everything else, so it didn¡¯t hurt too bad, but Carl didn¡¯t feel like getting back up. He rolled over onto his back and saw that the light was even farther away, so dim that he couldn¡¯t see anything around him. He laid there, defeated, wishing that someone would save him from this mess.If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    A voice echoed through the black room.


    ¡°Huh?! What was that?!¡± it said.


    Relief washed over Carl for a moment, but fear quickly took its place as the voice moved closer.


    ¡°Who¡¯s there? Show yourself!¡± the voice boomed.


    Someone else is here? Inside of Father?


    Whoever he was, he didn¡¯t sound happy.


    The room was suddenly illuminated by a ball of white light, and the owner of the voice loomed over him, gawking at him with a pair of beady, black eyes that blinked independently of one another. He was an old man, short, no taller than Carl, with a long white beard and stringy hair stuck to the sides of his face. He wore a tattered nightgown that appeared to be drenched in water.


    Carl scrambled to his feet and tried to run, but the only exit was past the old man. He clawed at the wall behind him, hoping to go back to where he came from, grabbing handfuls of Father and hoisting himself up, but he¡¯d only rise a few inches before sliding back down.


    ¡°Oh? A human? Here?¡± the old man said. ¡°Well I¡¯ll be darned. It¡¯s okay, boy. I will not do you any harm.¡± He held a walking stick in his hand that was taller than he was, and the ball of light sat on top of it. He flicked the stick and the light rose to the ceiling, casting light all around the room.


    Carl stopped his futile attempts at scurrying up the wall, but he did not approach the old man.


    ¡°Really, it¡¯s alright. Apologies for the hostile greeting. My name is Orndorf, aspiring member of the Order of Sages. Pleasure to meet you. I seem to be lost, and feared you were a stray goblin, or perhaps a nymph. Nasty little things. I once had a goblin try to steal a lock of my hair in the middle of the night ¡ª as if I have enough to just give out to whoever wants it! I don¡¯t leave my window open at night anymore, I¡¯ll tell you that much. Even when it¡¯s hot outside.¡± He seemed to be talking to himself.


    ¡°You¡¯re lost?¡± Carl said. The trembling in his hands stopped, though he still didn¡¯t dare move his feet. ¡°I¡¯m lost too, I guess you could say.¡± He explained the morning¡¯s events to Orndorf.


    ¡°Really? Oh my, this is worse than I thought,¡± Orndorf said. ¡°I might¡¯ve guessed, but I never would¡¯ve imagined. Where are we, exactly? Aside from inside of your father, of course.¡±


    ¡°Greenville?¡± Carl said.


    ¡°Greenville? Never heard of it.¡± Orndorf replied.


    ¡°North Carolina? The United States of America? Earth?¡± Carl elaborated, hoping one of those names would ring a bell.


    ¡°Hmmmm, The United States of America,¡± Orndorf thought deeply. ¡°Is that near The United Burroughs of Aranthia?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Oh dear. This is much worse than I thought, indeed.¡± Orndorf stroked his sopping wet beard, sending drips onto the floor. ¡°But I think I know what might¡¯ve happened. I was practicing for my exam, you see, for my entrance into the Order of Sages. I was in the process of drawing a Glyph of Windswept Feet when I got a nasty cramp in my back, and my staff slipped. Something must have gone awry.¡±


    ¡°Gone awry?!¡± Carl said, his voice rising. ¡°That¡¯s what you call this? My father is dead and I¡¯m stuck inside of him!¡±


    ¡°Yes, yes, I see what you¡¯re saying. The Order will not be giving me good marks for this, surely.¡±


    Carl balled up his hands into a fist, ready to punch the old man in his big, rat-like face.


    ¡°But I can fix this. I will fix this. I have to fix this, I know.¡± Orndorf looked up at the dim light of Father¡¯s belly, still growing dimmer.


    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s bad. That¡¯s very bad. Has it been doing that this whole time?¡±


    ¡°It? You mean my father? I think so, yeah.¡±


    ¡°Oh my. Oh my.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Carl said, annoyed.


    ¡°If he keeps expanding at this rate, he¡¯ll be the size of a small planet within a month!¡±

 Chapter 2: Orndorf and the Tunnel

    ¡°We must get moving! Quickly!¡± Orndorf shuffled towards the flesh tunnel on the other end of the chamber, his light following behind him. Carl stood frozen in place, half-shrouded in shadows.


    ¡°Well? Aren¡¯t you coming?¡± asked the wizard, beckoning Carl to get a move on. He didn¡¯t trust the wizard ¡ª he didn¡¯t even like him very much ¡ª but he didn¡¯t like being alone in the dark very much either. After a bit of negotiating, he convinced his feet to move forward towards Orndorf and the tunnel.


    The tunnel did not seem to be made of the same material as the chamber they were just in. It was smooth and symmetrical, and smelled less sour, but more like an unwashed horse.


    ¡°Where are we, exactly?¡± Carl asked. ¡°And where are we going?¡±


    ¡°To answer both of your questions at once, I am not sure,¡± Orndorf said cheerfully. ¡°I believe we are somewhere in the small intestines, but that does not tell us much.¡±


    ¡°And what is your plan to un-shrink Father?¡±


    ¡°Still working on that. For now, the plan is to walk this way until something happens.¡±


    Carl rubbed his temples in a vain attempt to fight off a headache. Orndorf glanced at him and chuckled.


    ¡°It¡¯s a good plan,¡± the wizard insisted. ¡°It works more often than you might think.¡±


    ¡°If you say so,¡± Carl sighed. It wasn¡¯t as if he could go anywhere else, so he continued to follow the strange old man. He acted as if he knew where he was going, almost skipping onward like they were frolicking through a meadow. He was shockingly spry for his apparent age, Carl thought, and more jovial than any of the old men he had ever met before.


    ¡°What if we just punctured him? Had him deflate?¡± Carl asked, mostly making conversation to drown out the sounds of his squelching feet.


    ¡°If you want to cover the world in a nice skin blanket, sure, we could do that, though it would probably irritate a lot of people ¡ª the ones that lived through it, at least,¡± Orndorf said. ¡°No, magic got us into this mess, and magic will have to get us out of this mess.¡±


    ¡°Do you know a shrinking spell?¡±


    ¡°Not a spell, no. I tried a shrinking spell once, but it turned out to actually be a stinking spell ¡ª and I don¡¯t think we need any more of that. A shrinking tincture is simple business though, if we can gather the necessary ingredients.¡±This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.


    ¡°So is that where we¡¯re headed then? To gather the ingredients?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I suppose we are. The liver¡¯s got to be around here somewhere, right?¡±


    Orndorf stopped walking and planted his staff firmly into the ground. He chanted something in a low monotone that Carl couldn¡¯t understand. Carl wondered if he should take cover somewhere, for when whatever the wizard was trying inevitably backfired, but there was nowhere to go, so instead he closed his eyes and hoped for the best.


    The ground began to undulate beneath them like the ocean on a calm day. Orndorf¡¯s chants grew louder, and the entire tunnel began to wobble violently and vibrate under Carl¡¯s feet.


    ¡°What are you doing?! Stop before you kill us both!¡± Carl yelled, but Orndorf gave no indication that he was listening. A particularly large jolt of the intestines knocked Carl over, and the wobbling had become too wild for him to get back on his feet. He watched from the ground in horror as Orndorf continued to chant, slipping and sliding on his hands and knees in a desperate attempt to keep his balance, until the wizard finally stopped and the wobbling stopped with him.


    The tunnel was still intact, and so was Carl, much to his surprise.


    ¡°What in the hell was that?!¡± Carl shouted as he scrambled back onto his feet.


    ¡°Apologies,¡± Orndorf said. ¡°Once you brought up the stinking¡ª I mean shrinking tincture, I realized exactly where we needed to go ¡ª the liver. According to my calculations, it¡¯s somewhere north-westerly of here. We can get most of what we need there.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s something to go on, I suppose,¡± Carl said.


    ¡°That¡¯s the spirit!¡± Orndorf looked up at the light floating above their heads. ¡°Lighty, point us north-westerly, please!¡± He tapped the orb with his staff, and it turned into an arrow that pointed at the ceiling.


    ¡°Onwards and upwards!¡±


    Carl sighed. They had been going downwards for what felt like hours, and now they had to turn back and return to where they were.


    He thought. Orndorf had other plans.


    The wizard pointed his staff at the ceiling again and muttered something that caused the end of the staff to glow like a cigar. He pressed it against the ceiling. It sizzled and popped in a way that made Carl regrettably hungry ¡ª he hadn¡¯t had his breakfast that morning, after all. The smell of sweaty ham filled the tunnel as Orndorf burned a disc of Father¡¯s intestines out of the ceiling, and it came falling to the ground with a heavy splat.


    ¡°Alright, up you go.¡± Orndorf said, crouching down and cupping his hands to give Carl a boost. Carl planted his foot in the wizard¡¯s hands, and he boosted him up and through the hole. Once he was up, Carl reached into the hole and helped the wizard walk up the wall and through the hole himself.


    Carl was relieved to be out of the claustrophobic tunnel, and to have a goal in mind, but he was struck by the sheer size of the open cavern they now found themselves in. He couldn¡¯t see the end of it, and the light of Father¡¯s belly was now just a faint orange glow, like the dying embers of a fire. It wouldn¡¯t be too long before the light was completely gone, he thought. There was no telling just how large Father had become, but it was clear that the journey to the liver would be a long one.


    He looked up at the glowing skin, hoping to see its last moments of light before they started their trek ¡ª and something started to form on the skin. At first, it looked like it was ripping, like Father had already reached critical mass, but the skin didn¡¯t come apart, and the rips in the skin formed letters, words, that glowed more brightly than the rest of the skin around it. Three words were written on Father¡¯s skin.


    DON¡¯T TRUST HIM

 Chapter 3: Oopsie Daisy

    The glowing skin finally faded into darkness, and suddenly, the old wizard looked different to Carl. His wrinkles looked deeper, his skin saggier, and his eyes looked sunken in under the harsh light of the orb above his head that contrasted starkly with the darkness that surrounded them. Orndorf looked out into the distance as if he could see. He never bothered to look up; he never saw the message written in stretch marks.


    ¡°Aye, the liver should be somewhere that way,¡± he said. ¡°Follow me, boy.¡±


    It felt more like a command than a suggestion now, and Carl obeyed. He stayed close behind Orndorf, trying his best to stay under the light, as they made their way up a winding rounded path of organ meat. Being exposed to the world did not make the path feel any less labyrinthian, with twists and turns that seemed to go on forever. But Orndorf seemed fully confident of where he was going, not breaking his stride to make any deliberations at forks in the path. It was like he could see the liver already.


    Orndorf came to a sudden halt and put his hand on Carl¡¯s chest to stop him. Carl jumped from the wizard¡¯s touch.


    ¡°Just up ahead, there is a chamber,¡± Orndorf said in a hushed whisper. He placed his hand on the ground, and it wobbled gently. ¡°Three men, or men-like figures. They may wish to do us harm, boy ¡ª perhaps physically, perhaps mentally, perhaps emotionally. So be on your guard, and don¡¯t be too sensitive to personal insults!¡±


    Like always, Carl was moderately confused by what Orndorf said, but he nodded anyway, and they crept forward. Just as Orndorf said, a chamber came into Carl¡¯s vision, only a few yards away. The intestines had ballooned up into a large sphere, and there was a reddish-whitish hole in front of them.


    ¡°Through the entry-ulcer, quietly!¡± Orndorf whispered and put out his light orb. It appeared that the hole was too small from them to fit through, initially, but Orndorf stuck a foot in and pushed on its edges, and it expanded in a couple of quivering, jolting motions, almost like it was in pain. Carl followed, fighting the urge to apologize as he pushed through the orifice.


    The room was big, with a high dome ceiling and a line of torches that appeared to be made of bone and fueled with human fat. A stack of barrel shaped drums made of tightly stretched skin sat on the far side of the room. There were dozens of them, stacked halfway up to the ceiling. But there were no humans, or human-like figures.


    ¡°This way!¡± Orndorf beckoned Carl, and they tiptoed towards the drums. Looking at them up close made Carl nauseous. There were freckles and moles on the outside of some of them. He couldn¡¯t help but wonder which part of Father this skin used to be attached to, and who would¡¯ve possibly made these barrels. Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.


    ¡°Right here!¡± Orndorf pulled Carl out of his barrel-induced trance to point out something on the floor. The intestines were bunched together in a gnarled, wrinkly formation, sort of like a belly button. Orndorf stuck his staff into it and wriggled it around. The belly button protested, closing back up each time it opened, but Orndorf did not relent, and it eventually gave in and relaxed. He tossed his staff into the hole and jumped in after it. Carl sat down and scooted legs-first into the hole.


    There were people in this room.


    Carl fell and hit the soft floor of another torchlit chamber. It was a dining area of some sort, with a long table, chairs and tapestries hung on the walls. Three identical-looking men with salt and pepper hair and close-cut beards stood together on the other side of the room, pointing staves at Carl and Orndorf.


    ¡°It¡¯s him!¡± one of the men said. ¡°It¡¯s Orndorf!¡±


    ¡°You bastard!¡± another one of the men snarled.


    ¡°We¡¯ll kill you!¡± the third man roared.


    Orndorf put his hands up.


    ¡°Arlin, Barlin, Carlin, calm down now. It was an accident. I will sort this out hastily. I give you my word.¡±


    But they weren¡¯t interested in chatting. They held their staves in the air,  touched them together at the ends, and started to chant. Vibrant blue, green, and yellow energy swirled over their heads, buzzing, growing, interlocking with each other, forming knot after knot. Orndorf lifted his staff into the air as well, and Carl hid under the table. Orndorf started a chant of his own, and the triplets all went silent at the same time. Then they began to scream.


    They fell to the ground and Carl saw looks of sheer terror on their faces as they thrashed around, shrill screams coming from deep within them. Their eyes rolled into the backs of their heads and white foam sprayed from their mouths. Blood began to ooze from their ears, then their noses, then their eyes and mouth. Their screams became weaker and wet with blood, until they finally laid motionless, dead.


    Tears streamed from Carl¡¯s eyes, and he was shaking violently, forever scarred by the horror he just witnessed.


    ¡°Oopsie daisy,¡± Orndorf said. ¡°Didn¡¯t mean to do all that. Oh well ¡ª live and learn. Here, boy. Might as well take one of these.¡±


    The wizard raised a hand and one of the dead men¡¯s staves shot into his hand. He bent over and presented it to Carl.


    ¡°You could become a great wizard some day. I could show you the ropes.¡±


    Carl did not want to see any ropes that Orndorf could show him, and he didn¡¯t take the staff.


    Orndorf got on one knee and looked Carl deeply in his eyes. ¡°I¡¯m sorry you saw that, but those were bad, bad men. That spell they were about to cast was powerful enough to blow this entire chamber up ¡ª you included. I did what I had to do, though I am not well-versed in attack spells. They are quite hard to control, you see, and I let it go a bit too far. I will do my best to make sure it doesn¡¯t happen again. But it would be a great help if you could do some magic too, and I¡¯d like to show you how. So please, boy, take the staff.¡±


    Carl crawled out from under the table, still shaking, and looked at the staff. It was beautiful, not anything like Orndorf¡¯s bumpy stick. It was pure white with intricate carvings of griffins, dragons, and serpents on the top and bottom.


    He grabbed the staff and felt the hum of energy coursing through his veins.

 Chapter 4: Maybe It Was an Accident

    Upon touching the staff, Carl felt something he had never experienced before ¨C a sense of energy, elation, power. He was a small boy, even for his age, so he had never felt more powerful than anyone before. It was a nice feeling. Even with the horror he had just experienced, he had to admit that the staff felt good in his hands, felt right. This must have been what those three men felt; yet even with so much power, and the three of them working together, Orndorf slaughtered them with ease.


    The wizard was either smarter than he let on or had immense power that he was unable to control. Carl wasn¡¯t fond of either option. He eyed Orndorf suspiciously.


    ¡°Oh! I think it likes you!¡± the wizard said, nodding at the white staff. ¡°Have you ever done any magic before?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Carl said curtly, not keen to make conversation. His mind was reeling from the events of the past few minutes. It was difficult to think straight.


    ¡°Well, I think it¡¯s clear. You¡¯re a wizard, Carl. Go on, give it a swirl.¡±


    Carl lifted the staff into the air with two hands and moved it in a circular motion. He wasn¡¯t sure what he was doing, but the staff responded with a green ball of energy that slowly built up the more he waved the staff, like he was catching energy straight out of the air. He could feel the power travelling through the staff and into his blood ¨C or was it travelling through his blood and into the staff? It was impossible to tell. The staff was an extension of his body, and a conduit to the natural power that had laid dormant inside of him.


    He flicked the staff and the ball flew off the end and into the table, shattering it to pieces.


    ¡°Woah,¡± Carl said.


    ¡°Woah indeed,¡± Orndorf replied. ¡°That was quite a fling you just flung. I don¡¯t think we¡¯ll have any problems making it to the liver now!¡± He patted Carl on the back.


    Maybe it was an accident, Carl thought. Maybe the wizard just did what he had to do. After all, if he meant to do me harm, why would he have given me a weapon?


    ¡°Let¡¯s get out of here. I hate the sight of corpses,¡± Orndorf said. ¡°It¡¯s still a long way to the liver, but we can pass the time practicing spells. What fun!¡±


    He stepped over the mangled corpses, lifting up his gown to avoid dipping the ends in blood. Carl¡¯s legs weren¡¯t quite as long, so he had to use one of the dead wizard¡¯s backs like a stepping stone. He let out one last sigh when Carl put his weight on him.If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    Orndorf had already left the chamber, and Carl was nearly out himself, when he noticed that the wall to the right of him was moving, pulling itself apart, much like the stretch mark message on Father¡¯s skin. Again, it was only three words.


    KILL HIM NOW


    He thought about it, about flinging an energy ball at Orndorf while his back was turned, but he didn¡¯t do it. After what he saw him do to those three trained, experienced wizards, he wasn¡¯t sure if he even could. He played the dumb old man, sure, but fear pulled at Carl¡¯s mind, telling him the risk was too great, and that Orndorf would probably kill him if he tried anything. And besides, he didn¡¯t want to be alone in this dark, smelly world, and he didn¡¯t want to ruin what little chance he currently had to set things right. He wanted to bury his father, not be buried inside of his father. So he ignored the message and followed the wizard back into the open world.


    <hr>


    Orndorf¡¯s first lesson in magic was to show Carl how to conjure his own orb of light. It turned out that, when you had a magic staff to channel the magic in your blood, all you really had to do was ask, and whatever light was accessible would follow you around and do what you asked, as long as you asked nicely. Carl did as Orndorf said ¡ª firmly planted his staff in the ground, thought hard about how much he would love a ball of light to follow him around, and a ball appeared over his head, eager to please the young wizard. And pleased he was. It had no face, no mannerisms, no personality traits of any kind, really, but Carl loved the little white ball floating mindlessly over his head. Not only was it nice to be able to see; it made him feel more independent, like he didn¡¯t need Orndorf quite as much. Orndorf seemed just as relieved about this development as Carl.


    ¡°Pretty soon, you¡¯ll be the one defending me!¡± the old wizard laughed as they walked through a patch of tripe that laid flat along the outside of the intestines. He could fit both of his feet in each amorphous divet, and had to bring his feet up nearly to his knees to step over the folded organ tissue. Carl thought back to his anatomy class, and the time he went to a Mexican restaurant, and realized that something wasn¡¯t quite right.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t this stomach lining?¡± Carl asked. ¡°What¡¯s it doing here?¡±


    ¡°Hmm, good question,¡± Orndorf replied. ¡°Perhaps the rogue spell is causing parts of Father to rearrange, or perhaps someone grabbed it and left it here.¡±


    It was at least a half-mile stretch of stomach lining, and it was firmly embedded into the ground. Carl accepted the first notion as the more reasonable one.


    ¡°If that¡¯s the case, what if the liver¡¯s not where it¡¯s supposed to be? Or what if it moves before we get there?¡±


    Orndorf chuckled. ¡°Oh, dear boy, you have much to learn about magic, still. I¡¯m not using a map of the human body to guide us to the liver. The magic¡¯s told me where to go. And if the location changes, the magic will tell me that too. So don¡¯t worry about all that. Let¡¯s just worry about getting away from this terrible terrain. My knees are positively throbbing with ache.¡±


    The end of the stomach lining brought with it a steep, dark drop that neither of the two wizards were keen to experience. They looked down and saw nothing. They looked outwards, into the distance, and Carl saw nothing, but Orndorf gasped and nearly jumped up and down with joy before his knees reminded him of his age.


    ¡°What? What?!¡± Carl asked.


    Orndorf smiled and pointed down into the distant darkness. ¡°Look! Down there! A village!¡±