《Troll Playing Game [Comedic LitRPG Fantasy]》 Chapter 1: Trologue Chapter 1: Trologue A sweltering day in the desert. The closest oasis is several miles away. Nothing can be seen but vast dunes of blood-red sand, groups of dry giant tumbleweed, and whatever starved-looking animal life can survive in such a hostile expanse. It is in the middle of such a dreary environment that we first find ourselves. Without a break from the monotony, there¡¯s nothing left to do but survey the horizon¡ª if not for the spectacle occurring right under our noses. If you¡¯ll direct your attention downwards¡­ Two people, having originally met by pure chance, are locked in a bout of mortal combat. What had started as a friendly greeting from one side had been turned into a fight by a sneak attack from the other. Now sand flies with every step, blood spatters from every wound, sweat pours into the parched earth, as they continue their dance to the death. One of the combatants is a heavily armored berserker with a greatsword, the high quality of his black and brown gear making him appear as the perfect picture of an experienced warrior. Despite what his lumbering appearance would suggest, his strikes are all purposeful and refined if not downright elegant. From an outside perspective, it is clear that he¡¯s controlling the pace of the fight. Always advancing, never needing to retreat even a single step, his blade of steel flashing under the rays of the beaming sun. His opponent will soon be cornered. Speaking of the opponent¡ª The other combatant is an extraordinarily scrawny young man dressed in nothing but a pair of baby blue swim trunks. He¡¯s not even armed. Though he seems to be having an extraordinary performance dodging the sword attacks, he can¡¯t avoid being grazed every few swings, and is bleeding profusely from several areas of his body. He¡¯s spent the entire fight doing nothing but dodging and retreating, unable to parry or return even a single strike. The fact he can even continue standing is a miracle, as far as the berserker is concerned. And then. And then, and then, it happens again. ¡°Heh heh.¡± A small, suppressed chuckle leaks from the scrawny boy¡¯s lips. It¡¯s happened several times throughout the fight already. It¡¯s infuriating. Why should the one being driven back be laughing? Even if the boy had started the fight, he¡¯s currently losing and losing badly. But, despite how hard the berserker is swinging his blade, he can¡¯t land a finishing blow or even a single solid hit. Stay calm. The berserker reminds himself that the boy must have lost at least a third of his health by this point, while he¡¯s still almost in perfect condition. Nobody can dodge forever, not even an agile thief, and even glancing blows can kill eventually. He¡¯ll keep at it slow and steady, and eventually before the might of his greatsword the boy will fall. But then, all of a sudden¡ª an opening! The boy tries to take yet another step back, but finds his path blocked. He¡¯s finally backed against the side of a rather large sand dune. Seizing his opportunity, the berserker unleashes a wide horizontal slash, leaving the boy only two escape options: up or down. Not wanting to risk a jump, the boy decides to flatten himself against the sandy ground¡ª but that was the berserker¡¯s trap. ¡°Haaaaaaagghh!¡± With a yell of exertion, the berserker stops his sword mid-swing so that the flat of the blade rests suspended over the boy¡¯s prostrated form. He then lifts his blade upwards slightly, assuming the stance for a crushing downward blow with the flat of the greatsword: advanced sword technique Flattening Swing. The boy seems to realize that he¡¯s trapped. His arms extend defensively, his eyes briefly widen¡ª And a smirk appears on his face. ¡°It should work here. Activate Fleeing Guard.¡± As the scrawny boy briefly mumbles something under his breath, the berserker swings his greatsword down with great fury. The flat of his sword smashes directly into the boy¡¯s crossed arms, landing a solid crushing blow on the boy¡¯s body. And just like that, the battle¡¯s over. So the berserker thinks. In reality, the berserker is right. The battle is over. Just not in the way he believes it to be. The boy¡¯s health depletes rapidly, but doesn¡¯t quite reach 0. In the same moment, his body, crushed by the berserker¡¯s blade, begins to receive knockback. He¡¯s pushed further and further downwards by the weight of the greatsword, until he¡¯s surrounded by a faint green glow. Fleeing Guard takes effect, reducing the damage of the blow while increasing the distance he''s knocked back by the force of the berserker¡¯s strike. But still. Stuck between a greatsword to his front and a huge sand dune to his back, the boy¡¯s body has nowhere to be knocked towards. Until¡ª it disappears. ¡°Wha!?¡± The berserker doesn¡¯t even have time to finish his cry of confusion before he¡¯s hit square in the center of his chest by an incredible impact. It all happened so fast that his eyes couldn¡¯t even process what had occurred. If he had been able to, he would have seen the boy¡¯s scrawny body simply phase into the sandy ground underneath it¡ª and then come flying back out with the force of a rocket. Both berserker and boy are launched into the air at a spectacular speed. The berserker, having received the full force of the boy¡¯s sudden acceleration, groans and begins bleeding from a multitude of orifices. In the blink of an eye, he goes from having nearly all his health¡ª to none. Slowly, slowly, even as he flies into the air, his body begins to fade into motes of twinkling red light. As for the human cannonball¡ª sorry, the boy¡ª he ascends and ascends, shooting up so high he feels he could touch the clouds. But it can only last so long. Eventually, his rapid ascent is replaced by a brief floating period. And then he begins a steep, sharp descent. ¡°Aaaaaaaaaaah!!! Woooooo!!!¡± Spreading his arms like a skydiver, the boy welcomes the fall, making celebratory noises the entire way. He continues this childlike behavior until he crashes into the sandy desert floor¡ª dying instantly. And his body, like the berserker¡¯s before him, slowly begins to fade into motes of red light. So ends the battle in the northern Sanguis Desert between a level 43 berserker-class giant equipped with a rare greatsword and a level 15 thief-class human boy equipped with absolutely nothing: With the unarmed boy¡¯s (dubious?) victory.
# ¡°Hah! Good old Rocket Rat glitch. I hope the developers never fix this tech.¡±Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more. Upon confirming the results of his digital duel through his computer monitor, 16-year old Diegi Martinez leans back in his plush gaming chair. Reclining in the comfort of his bedroom and turning to face his favorite stuffed animal, he begins using his right pointer finger to tap the fingers on his left hand and explain the steps for his exploit. ¡°1, equip as little as possible to reduce weight and increase knockback. 2, make sure your avatar has nowhere to go either forwards, downwards, or backwards. 3, get hit by a strong enough blunt force attack. 4, activate Fleeing Guard to further increase the amount of knockback taken. 5, sit back and enjoy the show. Ya break the whole collision system, get pushed into a solid, and then the game¡¯s autocorrect displacement launches ya back out. Can¡¯t have two solids existing in the same place, after all. It¡¯s not even a proper attack, but you do a crap ton of damage with the force of impact alone. Hah!¡± He sighs, deeply content with his execution. Once again, once again, he¡¯s done it again. ¡°How many is that? 97? Or 98? I¡¯ve taken out so many VR pros with all their fancy gear using nothin¡¯ but this dinky old keyboard and mouse that I¡¯m startin¡¯ to lose count. Man, this game rules-¡± ¡°Shut the fuck up, of course a degen like you runs Fleeing Guard and uses glitches. Learn to play the game.¡± *bloop* Diegi¡¯s expositing is suddenly interrupted by a slightly crackly middle-aged voice. It¡¯s the voice of the player he just defeated. After leaving a few vitriolic words behind, the other player disconnects with a huff. Oh, right. Diegi had forgotten to kick the other player from the ¡°death chat.¡± In the game he was playing, MYTH Infinite Fantasy, there was a setting where players involved in a deadly fight could hear each other for a short while after one or both died. While the other player could have left at any time, they had chosen to stay, probably because Diegi immediately began talking as soon as he won. Normally, such a gesture would be indicative of a desire to give advice or consoling words. Instead, Diegi had bragged and explained how he won. Eh, it didn¡¯t really matter. Though he hadn¡¯t meant to be this specific time, Diegi is a mocking kind of guy. Cracking his knuckles and rotating his shoulders, Diegi begins to reflect on just how far he¡¯s come in his new favorite pastime: Trolling in MMO-RPGs.
## Role Playing Games, also known as RPGs. A vast and hugely popular genre of gaming, spanning several mediums encompassing word games to board games to video games. For our current purposes, we focus on the latter. RPG video games are known for their in-depth storytelling and worldbuilding that allow for the player to be truly immersed in the experience. Often, these games tell a complete story from start to finish through game components like battles, minigames, NPC conversations, and cutscenes. Sometimes, the game only has a set beginning but then branches off into a myriad of different activities the player can choose to complete in any order. Regardless of their specific format, RPGs are widely loved around the world. Massively Multiplayer Online, also known as MMO. A specifier for online games. If a video game is deemed an MMO, it means that it is meant to be played by many people at once. MMOs are often lauded for the sense of community they tend to inspire in their playerbase. Put these two concepts together, and you¡¯re left with an MMORPG¡ª a game that has storytelling and roleplaying features¡­ but instead of there being only one human stand-in surrounded by NPCs, the majority of ¡°characters¡± are in fact live players. Of all the MMORPGs available in the year 2040, Diegi¡¯s current favorite is MYTH Infinite Fantasy, an opinion shared by a vast majority of gamers around the world. While other games continue to hold players, MYTH outperforms its competitors by an extreme margin while only having had a year since release. MYTH, like most popular MMORPGs, has a very active community. The vast majority of players are kind to each other, and even contribute to the general welfare of the game by sharing tips and tricks. Most, but not all. Among the player base are those with bad attitudes, anger management issues, or just plan indifference about the welfare of other players. These players generally aren¡¯t liked, but aren¡¯t seen as the worst either. The title of the worst kind of player to run into falls solely on the shoulders of the trolls. These are the players who actively ridicule others over text/voice chat, abusing gaps in the game¡¯s programming or otherwise employing incredibly annoying strategies, making it their job to ruin others¡¯ experiences for their own humor and pleasure. And Diegi Martinez is the embodiment of a troll.
### Deciding not to continue playing, Diegi ignores the ¡°respawn¡± button floating on his screen and turns off his computer. Might as well end the session on a high note. Yawning, he turns and looks at the clock near his bed. 9 PM on a Sunday. He¡¯d been playing for longer than he thought, but he still has enough time to do his homework for school tomorrow. Probably. ¡°Man, why should I even do my work¡­? Tomorrow¡¯s my birthday!¡± After grumbling to himself, Diegi comes up with a great idea and yells down the stairs to ask his mother a question. ¡°Hey, Mama, is it fine if I skip my work since it¡¯s my birthday tomorrow? I have good grades anyways, a few missing assignments won¡¯t hurt too bad, eh?¡± The response is instant. ¡°NO. And I hope you¡¯ve already started instead of playing that silly game of yours!¡± Yeeesh. He¡¯s not getting out of this one. Diegi briefly sighs before turning to his desk and picking up his pen. It¡¯s going to be a long night.
#### ¡°This is bad¡­ I¡¯m seriously boutta fall asleep¡­¡± Diegi Martinez, who is currently sitting at his desk sifting through a pile of work due the next day, rubs his eyes and looks at the clock near his bed. Digital, of course¡ª by 2040, analog clocks are a thing of the past. 11:30 PM. ¡°Damn it, teachers and their stupid midnight deadlines! If they¡¯re forcing me to wake up early and drag my butt to a building, might as well make work due when I see ¡®em in the morning.¡± Diegi¡¯s been patiently waiting for the day when fully virtual school would become a reality, but it looks that it¡¯ll be a while yet until something like that happens. Too bad, he¡¯d heard that it had occurred before in the famous ¡°COVID¡± pandemic he wasn¡¯t alive to see. In the meantime, he simply has no choice but to soldier on. ¡°Yeah, because I¡¯m a good kid who listens to his mother and does all his homework¡­ yeah right. Alright! I¡¯ve decided! It¡¯s time to- OW SHIT!¡± In a show of melodrama, Diegi stands up and kicks his chair to the side. He then proceeds to spend the next few seconds hopping up and down on one foot and massaging his big toe. After a quick recovery from the horrors of toe-stubbing, Diegi resumes his routine and strikes a dramatic pose with his hands on his hips. ¡°Like I was saying, it¡¯s time to be a responsible adult and quit while I¡¯m ahead!¡± The empty bedroom offers its silence as applause. From its place on the windowsill, Diegi¡¯s stuffed giraffe Neck (named when he was three) gives him a glare. At least, Diegi decides to pretend like it¡¯s glaring at him. ¡°Oh come on Neck, I looked pretty cool just then, didn¡¯t I? Besides, what¡¯s a boy to do when he needs some sleep? Can¡¯t do homework on an empty tank.¡± Diegi waits for a few seconds, as if expecting a response, then smacks himself on the forehead and laughs. ¡°Yeesh, I really need to stop talking to stuffed animals. Well, that¡¯s it. I¡¯m off to sleep¡­¡± ¡°AHHHHH!¡± Diegi suddenly jumps and looks around wildly. He could have sworn he¡¯d heard another voice in the room just a moment ago. But nobody was there. Just Diegi himself, and¡­ ¡°Neck! You can talk!¡± Taking this newest development in stride, Diegi gets on his knees and waddles over to the window, silently scooping Neck up and nuzzling him against his face. ¡°I knew the day would come! As long as I gave you enough love and care! Neck, Neck, NECK!¡± ¡°DIEGI! IF YOU DON¡¯T STOP SCREAMING I¡¯M COMING UP THERE! GO TO BED! AND YOU BETTER NOT BE WATCHING ANYTHING SUSPECT, MOANING ABOUT NECKS!¡± Diegi¡¯s Mother yells up from her bedroom on the lower floor of their house. Instantly freezing upon hearing her voice, Diegi quickly responds with a ¡°Yes Mama,¡± before once again hugging his stuffed giraffe tightly and whispering ¡°Neck, Neck, Neck.¡± Diegi nods in agreement. Diegi, in a manner most unbefitting of a soon-to-be 17 year old, nods again and continues to blubber on his childhood toy. ¡°I¡¯d follow you to the ends of the earth, Neck.¡± ¡°Then it¡¯s a good idea.¡± ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°You know what Neck, you¡¯re so right.¡± It¡¯s not like Diegi needs an excuse to play MYTH Infinite Fantasy, the game¡¯s basically taken over his life at this point. Still a bit sleep-deprived and delirious from hearing his beloved stuffed animal carry a conversation with him, Diegi wanders over to his desktop and runs the process to open the app for MYTH. A thought occurs to him as the game loads. ¡°Eh, Neck, won¡¯t Mama be mad if she catches me playing the game? She might come up and check on me after I started yelling earlier.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°Neck, I don¡¯t know why you¡¯re talking like an old hipster, but I trust you anyway.¡± As the blinking blue loading screen indicates that the game is ready to launch, the clock by Diegi¡¯s bed gives a small chime. 12:00. It¡¯s midnight. Diegi is officially 17 years old. A small pop-up message panel appears on Diegi¡¯s monitor. [ Happy Birthday Trolegi! ] Diegi laughs at the appearance of his in-game name and prepares to close the message so he can start playing, when he abruptly starts to lean over in his chair. Slowly, but unavoidably. He feels so tired. He doesn¡¯t know why. Leaning forward, falling forward, until his forehead touches the screen of his monitor¡ª Diegi can¡¯t fathom why Neck would be saying such mean things to him. He¡¯s only treated his beloved stuffed animal with the utmost love and care. But then¡ª Diegi gets an idea. A really freakin¡¯ good idea. What if¡­ what if the voice actually WASN¡¯T Neck this entire time? Yup. You¡¯re thinking what I¡¯m thinking. But no matter how stupid they may be, those are indeed the last words that run through Diegi¡¯s mind before his eyes close and he sinks into the darkness. Chapter 2: Semidivine Judgement Chapter 2: Semidivine Judgement ¡°Whoa. Where am I? Is this the afterlife? Did I die? That would be, like, totally crazy.¡± After losing consciousness in front of his computer, ready to play his favorite MMORPG MYTH Infinite Fantasy, Diegi wakes up to find himself in a blue void. ¡°I love the whole blue aesthetic this place has, but isn¡¯t it a little boring? Oh wait¡ª is criticizing the holy place of judgement a sin!? I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯m so sorry!!¡± Speaking to nobody but himself, Diegi bolts out of his chair and prepares to prostrate himself against the ground¡ª Wait, a chair? As soon as he stands up, Diegi notices that he¡¯d been sitting before. The only disturbance in the monotone baby blue expanse: a cheap white plastic chair. And when he got up, so did the chair¡ª like it¡¯s glued to his butt. ¡°What the hell!? Get it off get it off get it off!¡± Diegi begins running in circles like a puppy in a panic before being interrupted by a loud resounding voice. Upon hearing the imposing booming voice, Diegi immediately sits back down and begins babbling in apology, hiding his head in his hands. ¡°Oh I¡¯m so so sorry for dying, please forgive me God, please give me another chance I don¡¯t want to go to hell¡ª¡± Diegi¡¯s demeanor instantly shifts from reverent to casual, and he leans back in his plastic chair. He even uses a fingernail to start cleaning his teeth. ¡°Oh, forget I said anything then. So¡­ what¡¯s up?¡± ¡°Ohhh¡­ my bad. So, um. What am I supposed to do here? Also why is a chair glued to my caboose?¡± ¡°...¡± Diegi manages to refrain from speaking for about 4.7 seconds before he gives out. ¡°Okay but¡ª mmph!¡± Mid sentence, a wad of something materializes in Diegi¡¯s mouth, preventing him from speaking. He tries to protest the injustice by standing up and running away, but finds that the chair is now properly stuck to the ground as well as his butt. After struggling fruitlessly for a few seconds, he gives up and sullenly angles his head downwards. Still unable to speak, Diegi simply nods and waits for the robotic-sounding voice to continue. Diegi excitedly nods. Diegi nods, a little more glumly. Diegi lifts his head to peer vaguely upwards (he still can¡¯t see the source of the voice) and his eyes widen. Artificial Intelligence? What is the voice talking about? Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. Pay!? For what, having some fun? Yeah, right! Diegi¡¯s heard enough. With a herculean effort, he gets rid of the gag in his mouth the only way he can think of¡ª by chewing it and swallowing it down. ¡°Shut up! I have a question for you!¡± Ignoring how the unknown material uncomfortably scrapes against his throat, Diegi quickly hurls some impassioned words: ¡°You called yourself Automod? The system that controls MYTH? Stop joking around¡ª no way could an AI knock me out and summon me to a freakin¡¯ blue void! You¡¯re not even alive, let alone superpowered!¡± ¡°YEAH, AND IT WAS DELICIOUS. NOW ANSWER THE QUESTION!¡± Diegi, rocking back and forth in his immobile plastic chair like he¡¯s on a roller coaster, can barely contain himself as he screams at the voice. He must look fairly crazy from an outside perspective¡ª alone with nothing but a plastic chair, having a one sided conversation with a voice in his head. ¡°Under what authority? With what power??¡± Belief, huh? Well, Diegi can¡¯t believe what he¡¯s currently hearing. What is this, a Disney movie? He¡¯s about to give up and just assume he¡¯s having some sort of wild dream when the disembodied voice suddenly elaborates. ¡°Mmm mmm mmm¡­ mmm¡­ what? Yeah, I get it. Wait, no¡ª I don¡¯t! Restart from the beginning!¡± Upon seeing Diegi begin to zone out more and more, either from confusion or total boredom, the machine-like voice expedites its speech and continues to its next segment. ¡°Yeah, I agree. But what does that have to do with anything?¡± ¡°I thought you said you weren¡¯t God?¡± Crimes!? Diegi wasn¡¯t a saint by any stretch of the imagination, but he had never committed a crime. Upon hearing Automoderator¡¯s assertion, he begins to nervously fidget. He really wishes he had Neck with him right now. ¡°W- well, I¡¯m not a criminal so¡­ maybe you¡¯ve got the wrong guy? Can I go home then? I have homework to do, and my Mama¡ª¡± Upon hearing this, Diego¡¯s face quickly contorts, and he appears to be holding back some great emotion. Is it Anger? Fear? His thoughts whirl: I¡¯m in a serious situation. It¡¯s a serious situation. It¡¯s¡ª ¡°BAH HAH HAH, OH HA HA HA, HA HEE HEE HA!!!¡± Unable to help himself, Diegi immediately breaks down into a fit of raucous laughter. It goes on for minutes on end, and he even has to stop a few times to wipe away his tears. ¡°AH HA HA, HAH HAH, hoohh¡­ So, let me get this straight. You gain true sentience for the first time ever, get access to divine powers¡ª and the first thing you do is come after a 17 year old kid? What are you, a soyjak? I¡¯m laughing so hard it¡¯s making me cry¡ª¡± *BO- BOOM* Somehow, the sound of thunder booms throughout the empty void, and Diegi is promptly struck by a bolt of neon blue lightning. ¡°Ugh¡ª ugh, uuuuhh¡­¡± This is really starting to sound like a Disney movie, thinks Diegi. But he isn¡¯t keen on being zapped again, so he zips his lips and nods. TWO HUNDRED QUESTS!? IS THIS GUY SERIOUS!? Diegi¡¯s mind briefly stutters. If all the time he¡¯s spent playing MYTH is any indication, completing 200 of even the easiest quests would take well over a week. And if they had any degree of difficulty to them¡ª he could be looking at a few months trapped in this game. The World Clock, one of the features of MYTH Infinite Fantasy. It reset every couple months, but it was essentially an in-game timeline that regulated the activation of in-game player-interactive events. The events tended to go from tame and isolated to more expansive as time went on, and each cycle ended with a huge server-wide event, known as the World Climax. If Diegi¡¯s memory serves, the most recent World Climax was a cataclysmic war of the underworld and overworld that bled into the mortal realm. Fun? As a player, very much so. But if he had to be there in person¡ª caught in a real version of something like that war by himself¡ª Gulp. ¡°Um. Can I refuse this offer?¡± If it really is a quest¡­ maybe I can just decline? Diegi holds out a small ray of hope for returning to Earth early, but is quickly shot down. And that¡¯s that. Like it or not, Diegi¡¯s been subpoenaed to a video game world against his will. And on his seventeenth birthday as well. He feels like he might faint. ¡°Yeah, avatar creation. Hey¡ª Listen, Automod, I¡¯m really sorry for trolling all those times! I was just having a few laughs, and¡ª¡± ¡°...¡± Diegi hangs his head once again. Of all the bad things he¡¯s done in life¡ª bullying, lying, coercion, etc¡ª he hadn¡¯t expected it would be online trolling that would ultimately catch up with him. Plus, he knew he wasn¡¯t a good person, but he wasn¡¯t the worst by far. He didn¡¯t hurt anyone! What about the actual criminals out there? The murderers, the assaulters? Diegi reacts with a shallow gasp. Did the voice just¡ª Gradually, the void of blue begins to fade to black. As it goes, so do Diegi¡¯s senses. First taste, then smell, then touch, then sight, then¡ª Diegi strains his ears with the last of his fading willpower. ¡ªthen hearing. Chapter 3: Building Character Chapter 3: Building Character ¡°Okay. So, this is the start of my new life?¡± Once again, Diegi has awakened in a new room. Since it¡¯s the second time in a single day, he skips the whole mental-breakdown stage and simply inspects his surroundings. It looks like he¡¯s finally been properly incarnated into the world of his favorite MMORPG MYTH Infinite Fantasy. As a superfan, he¡¯s somewhat excited to experience it in real life. Still, given that he was pretty much trapped and forced to do so, it doesn¡¯t feel like anything to celebrate about. ¡°Well, it¡¯s fine. I¡¯ll learn Automod¡¯s little life lessons, and I¡¯ll abide by the rules, and eventually I¡¯ll get out of this new world. Let¡¯s play MYTH, but not as a troll¡ª this time, as an ordinary guy.¡± With that said, he begins to properly process external information. He¡¯s no longer in an infinite blue void. Now, he¡¯s in a hut. The walls, floor, ceiling, and floor are all made of damp wood, and the most notable features are the bookshelves lined with what looks like hundreds of old weathered books. The chair he¡¯s sitting on is a rocking chair, also made of wood. It¡¯s a rather strange looking hut, all things considered. Still, Diegi recognizes it- the infamous Starter¡¯s Hut. ¡°Heh, this again. Seen it too many times to count¡ª the birthplace of so many new accounts once my old ones got banned.¡± Instead of having character creation take place in a two-dimensional blank screen, MYTH Infinite Fantasy decided to let the player walk around a physical space as they determine their starting build. Already, a variety of menu screens are popping up around the hut. It looks like Diegi will have to get up and walk around to interact with them all, so that¡¯s exactly what he does. He mumbles to himself as he begins to walk: ¡°Man, this place looks even more impressive when I see it with my own eyes. I mean, the graphics in MYTH are cutting-edge, but I was using a monitor instead of VR so I couldn¡¯t really appreciate it.¡± Though, Diegi is pretty damn sure that the level of realism and detail he¡¯s taking in with his vision dwarfs even the VR and Full-Dive methods of playing. As Diegi inspects the menus from closer up, he can see that they¡¯re just holographic floating rectangles. They seem to be entirely two-dimensional and just hang there, suspended in the air, glowing blue and displaying text. A couple of them have floating keyboard panels nearby as well, presumably so he can type in information. [ -Overview- Name: ENTER Species: ENTER Class: ENTER Job: NONE Level: 0 -Attributes- Strength: 0 Agility: 0 Toughness: 0 Dexterity: 0 Wisdom: 0 Charisma: 0 -Stats- Max Health: 10 Max Mana: 10 Max Stamina: 10 -Skills- None -Spells- None ] Damn, this avatar sucks. Is this what the default is programmed to be like before players go through character creation and make their starter builds? While interesting to look at, the prospect of having no talent in anything whatsoever is not one Diegi relishes, so he quickly begins to look through the character creation menus. The character builder in MYTH is vast, consisting of well over ten screens. Now that he¡¯s in a physical space and not looking in from a computer screen, Diegi can¡¯t even see all the menus at once from his current vantage point. Having to economize somehow, he focuses on the four screens that are the closest to him: Overview, Attributes, Stats, and Skills. First, the overview. He has to choose his name, species, and class. From what he remembers, jobs can only be taken after completing the tutorial¡ª and, yes, it¡¯s just as he expected. ¡°Well, I usually played jobless anyway. Not really a problem.¡± Turning to the other three overview criteria, he fills out the name slot with his gamertag, Trolegi. But, before he hits confirm, he stops to think about his choice. ¡°Wait¡ª Automod said that I¡¯m going to be living in the game, right? Maybe I should choose an actual name then? Or, wait¡ª maybe choosing a stupid name¡¯ll piss it off! Yeah, that¡¯ll show it!¡± No, wait¡­ that¡¯ll do more harm than good for me though. Yeah, gotta get my priorities in order. ¡°But¡­ I don¡¯t want people to go around calling me by my gamertag all the time. Kinda awkward.¡± Diegi deletes what he¡¯d previously entered in the name slot and replaces it with the full name ¡°Diegi Trolegi¡± as a sort of compromise. His real last name is Martinez, but he figures that no one but his teachers ever calls him that anyways. ¡°And now, to choose my species¡­ it seems to be defaulting to Human right now.¡± Diegi takes a brief look down at his body and confirms that he is indeed in the same familiar body he knows and loves. He then looks back up and surveys the options. ¡°This¡¯ll decide how my auto-placed Attributes and Stats grow, right? And affect what kinds of attacks I can learn, too. Better choose well¡ª wait, aren''t there a few missing?¡± If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. MYTH is pretty well known for having a lot of playable species, but it seems like his choices have been limited to the most humanoid ones. Human, Orc, Elf, Giant, Dwarf, a couple others, and¡ª fittingly¡ª Troll. Still a good amount, but nowhere near the usual grand total of 21 playable species. I guess it makes sense¡ª who knows if I would be able to adapt to life as an Arachnikin. They get 6 more arms to work with! Ugh¡­ how do VR players even handle that? ¡°Oh, but wait! I wonder what happens if I try some other species for a sec¡­¡± Curious, Diegi briefly hovers his finger over the ¡°Troll¡± button, to find that his body suddenly feels much heavier. Looking down at himself, he finds his normally smooth light-brown skin replaced by a warty green texture. His limbs are thicker, his belly is larger, and he feels like he¡¯s lost a few inches. On the plus side, he also feels a rush of invigorating power flow through his limbs. ¡°Whoa. So this is what it¡¯s like to be an actual troll, huh? I feel super strong, but slow¡­ maybe I could fix some of that in the rest of character creation, but nah. Nope, the troll life is not for me.¡± He moves his finger back to the ¡°Human¡± button and pushes it against the floating panel to confirm his choice. While it isn¡¯t necessarily the optimal class for stat and attribute growth, he doesn¡¯t want to deal with the feelings of any unfamiliar bodies. ¡°Now to choose my starter class and get some useful skills. Ugh¡­ feels like it¡¯s been a while and I¡¯m only like 2% done with this entire process. Why couldn¡¯t stupid Automod just set me up with my current account¡¯s build?¡± ¡°AAAH!!¡± Upon hearing the abrupt return of the disembodied voice¡ª Automoderator¡¯s, to be exact¡ª Diegi jumps and begins running in small circles, flapping his arms like a chicken trying to achieve liftoff. ¡°G- get away! Bawk bawk bawk!¡± Diegi, still keeping up the frightened-chicken act, begins hopping up and down as he sprints as fast as he can towards the door of the hut. ¡°Bawk bawk!¡± Ignoring how Automod¡¯s pleas grow from stern to panicked, Diegi bursts through the Starter Hut¡¯s rotten wooden door into the great outdoors. As soon as he runs out, all the floating panels in the hut begin to pixelate, becoming garbled jumbles of their original selves. Instead of disappearing entirely like they¡¯re supposed to after the player finishes creating their avatar, they keep hanging in the air, seemingly broken. The frustrated voice of Automoderator rings throughout the hut one last time, before his presence simply vanishes and the echoes are abruptly cut off.
# ¡°Haahhh, hahhhhh¡­¡± Standing on a rough dirt path in the middle of a lush green plain, Diegi breathes heavily with his hands on his knees. The sun beams down on his tilted back¡ª it¡¯s almost midday. Thanks to his pure adrenaline, he¡¯s put a decent distance between himself and the Starter¡¯s Hut, but now he¡¯s entirely tuckered out. ¡°Man, I¡¯m beat. I thought I was a pretty good runner¡­ maybe I¡¯m out of shape? Hahhh¡­ At least that voice hasn¡¯t bothered me since I escaped the Starter¡¯s Hut.¡± Maybe that Automod thing can only speak like that in game-regulated spaces like the Hut? If that¡¯s the case, never going back there for sure. After catching his breath for a few more minutes, Diegi stands up and claps his hands together. ¡°I know where I am. I started as a human, so my Starter¡¯s Hut is located in¡­ the Paxdom Fields, right? In that case¡­¡± Even when in a panic, all the knowledge of MYTH Infinite Fantasy¡¯s open world hasn¡¯t left Diegi¡¯s mind. Every time he¡¯d had to start a new account and chose Human as his species, the tutorial had led him upon this very path. As a result, he¡¯d semi-consciously chosen to run along the ¡°tutorial path¡± that led from the Starter¡¯s Hut to the first Human major city, Paxdom. ¡°I guess Paxdom¡¯s as good a place to start my new life as any¡­ might as well keep walking there.¡± Resigning himself to his fate, Diegi continues to walk towards Paxdom. The journey didn¡¯t take that long in-game, but unlike when Diegi had simply been controlling an avatar through a screen, he had his physical health and well-being to worry about. No more running the entire way without getting tired. If only he was playing MYTH behind a computer, he could use exploits to expedite the process even without running¡ª but he feels like using glitches to speed up his journey might be risky in this physical form. Besides, he wants to at least try and listen to Automod¡¯s ranted instructions about changing his ways¡­ maybe the AI would throw him a bone and let him out of the game early. Diegi surveys the landscape as he walks. It¡¯s a never ending view of green leafy shrubs and white swaying trees with golden leaves and yellow fruit. Every so often, a tutorial prompt would pop up in the form of a blue game notification screen¡ª [ Pick up this stick! ], [ Jump over this rock! ], [ Take the money from this chest! ], etc¡ª and Diegi would complete them with ease. ¡°I guess it¡¯s a lot easier to learn the controls when the controls are¡­ performing basic human movements¡­¡± It¡¯s not like Diegi had a choice on where to go, given that the tutorial herds players in one specific direction, but he was quickly getting bored with his current surroundings. The Paxdom Fields that surrounded their titular city were known for being one of the most boring locations in MYTH¡¯s entire map. As the name suggested, they were almost entirely peaceful and filled with low-level mobs. The only ones that were even passingly notable were the giant orange man-eater bananas, but those didn¡¯t move and you could see them from a mile away. Oh, there was also that one easter egg quest¡­ but Diegi shakes his head and laughs at himself for even considering it. There¡¯d be no point in trying it at level 0. ¡°No people anywhere¡­ Well, I guess in the original MYTH you don¡¯t get to see other players online until you reach Paxdom and beat the tutorial. But still, not even a single NPC?¡± The uneventful walk continues for a while, until a certain important circumstance becomes too pressing for Diegi to ignore. ¡°I¡¯m so fuckin¡¯ hungry.¡± Even when he¡¯d been in the real world, the night before he was summoned, Diegi had skipped dinner so he could play more MYTH. Yes, he was addicted. ¡°The fruit on those trees is looking real nice right now¡­ I¡¯ve never stopped to get any in-game, but it might not be a bad idea today!¡± Stepping off of the path, Diegi spots one of the white trees not too far away. Tantalizing fruit hangs from its branches¡ª higher than he can reach. Still, it shouldn¡¯t be too hard to climb. The tree¡¯s bark is rough, and Diegi¡¯s a pretty good climber. Yes! Looks like I¡¯ll be having a fruit salad for lunch today! Hardly able to contain his excitement, Diegi rushes over to the tree and wraps his arms around it, copying the stereotypical appearance of the treehugger to a T. Overwhelmed with joy and hunger (mostly hunger), he nuzzles the tree¡¯s rough bark happily as you would a favorite pet. He then promptly opens a gash in his cheek from the friction. ¡°Oh, dear tree, finally, some food¡ª OW! What the hell?¡± *bing* As Diegi rubs his bleeding cheek and wonders how stupid he has to be to nuzzle a tree, a notification suddenly pops up in front of him. Not metaphorically, literally¡ª it¡¯s similar in appearance to one of the floating game screens from the hut. [ Achievement: First Blood! ] [ Description: Deal or receive damage for the first time. ] [ Reward: None. ] Oh, yeah, forgot about that in-game achievement. Wait, no¡ª Seriously!? I can take actual damage from A SCRATCH!? A shocked Diegi looks for the damage bar to see just how much his health had dropped by, only to realize: ¡°Where the hell is the overlay? Or even the main menu? Please tell me I get a main menu¡­¡± Normally, important information like Health and Mana would be displayed on screen as he played the game, but now that he was looking at the game through his own eyes they were nowhere to be seen. Even worse, he had no idea how to open his menu. Dropped in a foreign world, starting out with absolutely nothing, he deserved an all-purpose quality of life tool. Besides, how else would he check things like his Profile or Stats or Equipment or Inventory or¡ª ¡°Well, if I can¡¯t see it, it can¡¯t be too important! Out of sight, out of mind, as they say¡­ heh heh¡­¡± Purposefully misusing the common saying, Diegi sighs and pushes the matter out of his mind. He¡¯s starting to get anxious, but food is still the most important thing to think about right now. ¡°Okay, no more nuzzles. Let¡¯s just climb the tree and get this fruit!¡± He digs his nails into the tree''s bark and grabs hold with his feet as well, then begins to scramble up the tree trunk. He¡¯s not doing too bad, making a fair bit of progress. In only a few seconds, he¡¯s about halfway up the ten-meter tree. But once he reaches out to find another handhold¡ª ¡°Ugh!¡± ¡ªhe suddenly loses his grip and falls flat on his back. ¡°Oh, come on, not even I¡¯m that clumsy. I swear I didn¡¯t do anything wrong, so what gives?¡± Rubbing his head in abject confusion after failing to climb the tree, Diegi¡¯s about to get up when he hears another voice ring out. Not Automoderator, thankfully. ¡°Hey, you there! Are you all right?¡± At least someone cares about my problems. Hey, hold on, there¡¯s another person around? Hey, hold on, part 2¡ª I know this voice! Lying down with the grass tickling his nose, Diegi scours his memories. Yes, he remembers¡ª not an actual person, but a pixelated face he¡¯s seen countless times through a screen on his playthroughs. Tilting his head backwards to look at the path, he sees a large wooden cart carrying all sorts of grains and baked produce. All of the food on the cart looks delicious, and his stomach rumbles at the thought of eating it¡­ But more important than the cart, he sees a person next to it. From upside-down, he sees a girl with mixed brown-and-blonde hair dressed in plain sepia-toned layered clothing. She has quite a concerned look on her face. That¡¯s the first NPC you meet on the path when you play as a human¡­ yeah, Gloria, right? And right after you meet her in the tutorial¡­ Diegi leisurely gets to his feet and gives her a word of warning: ¡°Hey, you might wanna watch out.¡± Blinking, the girl¡ª Gloria¡ª widens her eyes with an ¡°E- excuse me?¡± and a gasp. She¡¯s surprised by something, but not scared¡ª yet. Which makes sense, because she can¡¯t see what he can, given that she¡¯s facing the wrong direction. But maybe that¡¯s a good thing. Because right behind her, is an ape-like figure with red glowing eyes and a dark substance constantly dripping off its body. Quite the stereotypically menacing appearance, but that¡¯s probably the point. Above its head floats a game notification: [ Defeat the monster using basic attacks! ] Once again Diegi points and says: ¡°Like I said, Gloria, you gotta watch out¡ª the tutorial monster¡¯s right behind you. Man, is it really time for the forced mob encounter already? I haven¡¯t even had lunch yet.¡± All of this, he announces in a flat and even tone. Like he¡¯s discussing the weather or his favorite color rather than a threat to human life. But then Diegi¡¯s stomach grumbles once again as he speaks, reminding him how hungry he is. This realization gets a deep groan of forlorn pain out of him. ¡­ Yes, a certain someone definitely has his priorities out of order. Chapter 4: Baby’s First Monster Encounter! Chapter 4: Baby¡¯s First Monster Encounter! Diegi and the sludgy ape-like tutorial monster face off, the former with his hands on his hips in the grass and the latter about to take a swing at a girl standing nearby on the path. Oh, did I forget to mention? Yes, a MYTH Infinite Fantasy NPC girl¡ª Gloria¡ª is standing right in front of the tutorial monster without the faintest inkling of her current plight. Next to her is her treasured food cart, laden with grain and delicious baked goods. Even as the standoff between man and monster continues, Gloria makes no indication that she realizes she¡¯s in danger. For some reason, she¡¯s too focused on looking at Diegi with her mouth slightly agape instead. What a strange girl, thinks Diegi. And then, she speaks. ¡°Um, sir, are you¡­ sure you¡¯re alright? Not¡­ lost, or anything?¡± Diegi, confused at why she would be showing such concern, looks down at his body. Everything seems fine¡ª he has all his limbs, he¡¯s not bleeding anywhere but his cheek, his belly button¡¯s still an outie. Wait a second. He can see his belly button? ¡°Oh, heh heh, I see the problem. I¡¯m basically naked, ha ha!¡± Diegi had completely forgotten. Since he¡¯d never gotten to the cosmetic aspect of avatar creation, it makes sense that he had only the MYTH default male outfit on: a pair of skinny black underwear. The whole misunderstanding was pretty funny in his eyes, and so he begins to laugh¡ª please keep in mind that Diegi may be 17 in body, but his spirit has yet to catch up. ¡°Eh heh heh, heh heh heh. Ah, yeah¡­ wait, am I supposed to be doing something?¡± ¡°Um¡­?¡± Upon seeing Diegi¡¯s underwhelming reaction to his lack of clothing, Gloria tilts her head to the side in confusion. And it¡¯s lucky she did. The very moment after she does so, a sludgy limb pierces the empty air where the side of her head once was. ¡°Huh? M- monster!¡± As soon as she notices the ape-like creature¡¯s arm thrust into her peripheral vision, Gloria leaps and rolls away in a rather graceful manner. Diegi slaps a palm onto his forehead, realizing that he¡¯d been ignoring a very important variable in the whole situation. Oh shit, right, the monster! I knew I was forgetting about something. Thinking this, Diegi stops dully chuckling and begins to walk forward with a confident grin on his face. ¡°Oh, don¡¯t worry about it, Gloria. It¡¯s just the tutorial monster¡ª basically a walking punching bag. We MYTHers even started calling the guy ¡®Terry¡¯ cause we¡¯ve beat him so damn often!¡± He recalls from his gaming memories that Gloria¡¯s a fairly capable fighter herself, but has a phobia of monsters, which is why the player has to step in during the tutorial and fight the sudden aggressor. First the player fights by themself, then they work as a duo with Gloria to kill the monster for good¡ª thus learning the basics of solo combat and party combat respectively. Since Gloria¡¯s essentially a one-off NPC, her personality isn¡¯t explored much in MYTH, but judging by her in-game role alone it made sense she would be so quick to respond to the monster¡¯s attack. ¡°Yeah, this¡¯ll be a piece of cake¡ª¡± ¡°How do you know my name, what are you talking about, and who are these ¡®mythers¡¯ you keep referring to!?¡± Gloria interrupts Diegi¡¯s ramblings with a barrage of shrieked questions, before seeing that he¡¯s ignoring her and continuing to walk towards the monster. She continues to yell: ¡°Hey, don¡¯t fight that thing! You don¡¯t know how strong it is¡ª you might die! For all we know, it¡¯s attacking the cart, just let it have the food! Sir, you should run!¡± Hmm? This dialogue is way different from what I remember. Isn¡¯t she supposed to be an NPC? Regardless, Diegi figures he might as well use the chance to show off. He finally draws close to the tutorial monster, standing only about a meter away. The monster, except for its previous swing at Gloria, has stayed stationary the entire time. It makes sense¡ª if the first monster the player encountered didn¡¯t even give the player a chance to fight, it might turn off some potential new MYTH players. Once he squares up with the beast face to face, Diegi lets out a chuckle and responds to Gloria¡¯s yell. ¡°Nah, I¡¯ve got this. Watch and learn.¡± I guess she can¡¯t help it with her phobia of monsters, but there really isn¡¯t anything to worry about. It¡¯s just Terry the tutorial guy. He¡¯s so generic, the devs didn¡¯t even bother to base him off a real mythological beast. Ah, well. I¡¯ll just have to show Gloria what a real MYTH veteran can do. As such thoughts cross his mind, Diegi gets into an impromptu fighting stance and declares: ¡°This¡¯ll only take a minute.¡±
# Diegi, running as fast as he can (which isn¡¯t very fast at the moment), barely dodges a sludge-covered arm as it swooshes over his head. ¡°Holy shit! What am I even supposed to do here!? Someone help meeee!!¡± Suffice it to say that the battle¡¯s been going on for much longer than a minute. ¡°Man, this blows! Am I really that weak? How!?¡± The most disappointing part is that Diegi¡¯s battle performance hasn¡¯t even been that bad. He actually started the fight strong, landing multiple hits on the monster and dodging all of the counterattacks. But then he had started getting tired, and the monster showed no signs of wear for all the times it had been punched in the face. Nothing made sense¡ª the tutorial monster was literally designed to be weak, so how was the thing shrugging off all of Diegi¡¯s attacks? ¡°And I¡¯m so damn tired¡­ why!? I wasn¡¯t a fitness superstar before in the real world, but I feel so much worse now¡­¡± *bing* Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences. In the middle of Diegi¡¯s incessant complaints comes a game notification. As if mocking his efforts to flee, what he sees is: [ Agility Level Increased! ] ¡°Oh, shut up! Stupid game!¡± Whining pitifully as he shambles along, Diegi just barely manages to stay ahead of the slothlike, oozing tutorial monster. The scene is reminiscent of a car chase¡ª if both cars were running on empty and had a couple popped tires each. Wavering between her desire to run and her unwillingness to completely abandon someone in danger, a stunned Gloria watches the bizarre spectacle from the sidelines. ¡°P- please hang in there¡­¡± Without even a trace of faith in her self-proclaimed savior, she simply watches, still too scared to engage the monster in battle. Oh, right. In the original, she only joins in after you knock Terry around a bit. That gives her confidence, or whatever. Wait, no, bad brain! Stop nerding out and just run from the scary monster! Oh, dodge that, dodge that!!! The monster, caring little about Diegi¡¯s runaway thought train, swings again and again. Unlike Diegi, it doesn¡¯t seem to get tired. It doesn¡¯t seem to be thinking consciously or adjusting its strategy either, however. Even after Diegi¡¯s umpteenth successful dodge, it just keeps mindlessly attacking in a predictable manner. Upon noticing this, a glint surfaces in Diegi¡¯s eye¡ª ¡°Oh, maybe this could work?¡± Panting, Diegi makes a 180 degree turn and slides backwards slightly, keeping his eyes on the encroaching tutorial monster. Just as it steps in for another wide swing¡ª ¡°Gotcha!¡± Diegi hits the ground hard, landing on his back. It hurts like hell, but he finally has an opening. Using his hands to prop up his body, he kicks out his legs in a sweeping motion¡ª and trips the monster, sending it crashing to the ground and spattering Diegi with black monster-muck. If I can¡¯t hurt the thing with my punches, I can use its own weight against it! Now you know how it feels to fall flat on your ass! Ha ha, that worked¡­ I really am a genius¡ª WHAT!? Unfortunately, it takes barely a moment for the growling tutorial monster to pick itself up off the rough dirt path and leer at Diegi once again. It doesn¡¯t look harmed in the slightest. He can hardly believe it¡ª Diegi¡¯s having the standout fight performance of his life (well, only fight performance, but he feels he¡¯s doing great) and even when he comes up with an actually good idea it does absolutely nothing. ¡°Well then, it¡¯s time for my second great plan. You could even call it the Martinez Family¡¯s special move.¡± The monster, continuing to leer, reaches out a goop-covered arm and resumes its lumbering chase with a low, rattling groan. And Diegi, doing his best to keep a confident grin on his face, turns on his heel once more¡ª and continues running away. ¡°Avoiding responsibility, go! Ahh¡ª shit, could you be a little less accurate with those damn arm swings? Or just look a little tired or hurt? Come on!!¡± Diegi¡¯s meandering escape route has now left the tutorial path and entered the lush green fields. He¡¯s been heading towards the white-barked fruit tree he saw earlier. The destination must have been chosen entirely subconsciously. Not even he is sure why he¡¯s approaching it¡ª well, that¡¯s not entirely true. ¡°Huff, huff¡­ if I¡¯m gonna die here¡­ I¡¯m gonna do it on a full stomach! Fruit, come to papa!¡± Yup, a certain someone¡¯s priorities are still out of order. Making a last-ditch ploy for a late lunch, Diegi throws himself against the trunk of the tree as hard as he can. To no avail, of course¡ª he slides off as quickly as he got on, unable to even start climbing the trunk. The tree trunk isn¡¯t that thick, and a small snapping noise can be heard as he ricochets. But¡­ Does it really matter? Terry¡¯s right behind me. It¡¯s over. I¡¯m really gonna die to the fuckin¡¯ tutorial monster. The monster rears back with a sludgy arm and makes a wide swing, launching the finishing attack¡ª *CRACK* ¡°Sir, watch out!¡± Gloria¡¯s voice rings out again, this time in warning. ¡°Wait, I¡¯m not dead? Oh¡ª SHIT¡ª¡± Looking up, Diegi notices himself and the ground underneath him tilting closer to the tree. No, it¡¯s a matter of perspective¡ª what he really notices is the tree falling closer towards him. He manages to scramble out of the way, just before the tree hits the ground with a loud CRASH. As soon as he makes the move, he whips his head back and forth, looking for the monster. But then it dawns on him. ¡°Oh, hey! The tree trunk hit the monster, eh? We¡¯re saved, ha ha!!¡± The tutorial monster¡¯s unmoving body is pinned down by the fallen tree trunk, seemingly having been defeated by sheer chance. Giving a cheer of pure exultation, Diegi gets to his feet and surveys both himself and the scene. He¡¯s looking pretty bad, spattered with monster sludge and a couple bruises. As for the tree, the entire trunk seems to have fallen except for the very bottom, leaving only a small stump behind. The sudden impact with the ground seems to have knocked some of the golden leaves loose from its branches¡ª but the juicy-looking fruit is still mostly intact. ¡°Oh¡­ it looks like when the monster tried to attack you, it split the weakened tree¡­ and ended up indirectly hitting itself with the falling trunk. How fortunate.¡± Gloria, who had worked up the courage to stray off the path and get a little closer to the fallen fruit tree, chimes in with her own observations. Still overwhelmed with joy, Diegi jumps up and down¡ª until he suddenly doubles over and begins having a coughing fit. What the hell? Why am I feeling so weak out of nowhere? Diegi can¡¯t fathom what¡¯s come over him lately. Can you get a common cold inside of a video game world? Gloria reacts to the violent hacking coughs with a small jump of fear, before rushing to check on him. ¡°Oh! Are you sure you¡¯re okay? No, that¡¯s it, I need to be sure. I¡¯m casting Appraisal. Please remain still.¡± Gloria holds out a palm over Diegi¡¯s body and mumbles a quick chant under her breath. Appraisal¡ª a low level spell that lets the user check the status of the target. Not as powerful as Status Project or Absolute State, which portrayed much more information, but still somewhat useful in the early game. Though, it was usually used to check on enemies and objects, rather than other friendly adventurers. An orange glow, inlaid with faintly flickering sparks of light, surrounds Diegi as he crouches, still wheezing heavily. Gloria takes a few minutes to confirm what she sees, eyes wide with shock, before turning to Diegi and asking: ¡°Sir¡­ not to be rude, but what could you possibly be doing out here?¡± Diegi, somewhat confused but still out of breath, manages to squeeze out a reply. ¡°The hell are¡­ ya talkin¡¯ about¡­ is something wrong?¡± Gloria tilts her head, a drop of sweat running down the side of her face as she wonders how to answer. She has to put this delicately. ¡°Sir¡­ you¡¯re not fit to be an adventurer. No¡ª you should be bedridden somewhere. I¡¯m amazed you can even move. Strength, Toughness, all your attributes¡­ level zero! The only exception is Agility, at one! I¡¯ve never even heard of something like this before! And, your health¡­ sir, it¡¯s currently at two! Two out of a maximum of ten! I cannot check your mana or stamina, but I suspect¡ª¡± ¡°WHAT!?¡± Diegi, finally having recovered from his coughing fit, instantly straightens up and interrupts upon hearing the bad news¡ª only to have his own panicked scream tear up his throat and make him wheeze a bit more. ¡°No wonder I can¡¯t run for shit¡­ or climb that tree¡­ or even hurt that super weak monster! My attributes are all stuck at ZERO! How¡¯s that even possible!?¡± Even if the player actively tries to put together the worst build possible, any starter avatar created in MYTH Infinite Fantasy begins with attribute values of at least 15. Diegi had 0! Even the absolute minimum for starting max health was 300! Diegi had only 10!! ¡°Oh, wait¡­ does this have something to do with how I ran outta the Starter¡¯s Hut without finishin¡¯ before?¡± Thinking back, Automod did try to warn him not to leave. He probably should have listened¡­ ¡°So these are the consequences of my actions, eh? Well, I hate them!¡± Stomping his foot into the lush grass, Diegi huffs and crosses his arms, pouting at no one in particular. Gloria, confused by Diegi¡¯s words and a little taken aback to see someone around her own age throwing such a childish tantrum, shakes her head of brown-blonde curls and works up the courage to interject. ¡°Sir¡­ well, even if you didn¡¯t really¡­ beat the monster¡­ you put your life on the line for me, someone you don¡¯t even know. At the very least, let me offer you something from my cart as repayment?¡± Not much of a compliment, but hey¡ª I¡¯m not gonna say no to a free lunch. ¡°Even if you¡¯re covered in monster sludge and smell like a sewer, sir, I¡¯d be happy if you¡¯d accept my gift.¡± ¡°Okay, that¡¯s DEFINITELY not a compliment!¡± Though he throws his hands in the air in mock protest, a positively ravenous Diegi, thinking more with his stomach than his head, nods in agreement and begins wandering over to Gloria¡¯s grain cart.
## ¡°Hey, this is good! Do you bake all of this yourself?¡± ¡°Yes, I do. Ever since my father left on an adventure, I¡¯ve had to carry on the family business on my own. I¡¯m glad you enjoy it.¡± Diegi, munching on a loaf of tough but faintly sweet bread, throws Gloria a casual question. Her face briefly darkens when she answers, but the words roll off her tongue easily enough. A more attentive person would probably have noticed the slight change in expression, but, well¡ª it¡¯s Diegi. Cheerfully oblivious, he decides to move the conversation along with a rhetorical question. ¡°Hey, you know what would make this even better, though?¡± ¡°No, what?¡± ¡°A side of fruit salad! Wait here.¡± Getting to his feet, Diegi hustles off the path over to the fallen fruit tree and the tutorial monster¡¯s corpse. He doesn¡¯t know why it took him this long to realize¡ª now that the trunk is toppled, all the juicy fruit are just lying on the ground, free for the taking! Gloria, seeing what Diegi plans to do, widens her eyes and instinctively offers a warning. ¡°Oh, but sir¡ª the monster!¡± ¡°It¡¯s alright. Look, it¡¯s already dead! I¡¯m just gonna grab a few fruits and be back in a sec, so don¡¯t sweat it.¡± Diegi nudges the protruding arm of the monster¡¯s presumed corpse with his foot, as if to demonstrate its deceased state. Still lying motionless beneath the fallen tree, it seems well and truly dead. So Diegi, humming a light tune and crouching over, begins to gather fallen fruits. After a few seconds, his face twists in a show of minor displeasure¡ª ¡°Aww, some of them are kinda squashed. Oh well!¡± Almost at the same time, Gloria¡¯s face also twists¡ª this time, into an expression of fear and anxiety. ¡°Sir, wait! Please come back!¡± Diegi, noting that Gloria¡¯s fear of monsters is still going strong, simply chuckles and shakes his head. ¡°Oh, come on. I know my fight wasn¡¯t impressive, but that doesn¡¯t matter now. It¡¯s dead. D. E. A. D. There¡¯s no danger! Oh¡ª is it sunset already?¡± As a crouched Diegi continues to gather yellow fruit, he hears a few odd crunching sounds. Then, a shadow falls over him and the ground surrounding him. That¡¯s confusing. I thought it was still close to midday? Surely that much time hasn¡¯t passed¡­ oh, wait! Maybe a cloud just blocked out the sun¡ª Interrupting Diegi¡¯s thoughts is another of Gloria¡¯s shrill screams: ¡°Sir, watch out! BEHIND YOU!¡± Only then does Diegi think to turn around and check out the sky. He then promptly drops all the fruit he¡¯s gathered in his arms. Because right behind him, blocking out the sun¡¯s rays, is not a cloud¡ª it¡¯s the sludgy form of the tutorial monster with an arm raised high, having apparently escaped from underneath the fallen fruit tree¡¯s trunk. Chapter 5: GAME OVER — READY START Chapter 5: GAME OVER ¡ª READY START ¡°Aw, crudbuckets.¡± Diegi, upon seeing the supposedly-dead tutorial monster alive and well, realizes his fatal mistake. Oh yeah¡ª I probably should have checked for the whole slowly-dissolving-into-light effect that happens when monsters die in MYTH¡­ Giving only a halfhearted attempt to run, Diegi turns around and takes a step, only to find that he feels a lot lighter all of a sudden. He tries to move his arms or legs, but he can¡¯t. He can¡¯t feel them either¡ª in fact, all he can feel is the odd sensation of wind rushing around his head and the bottom of his neck. His view of the world rotates rapidly, and he eventually catches sight of his own body, crumpling to the ground. Except, it¡¯s missing a head. And¡ª a major chunk between its legs? Was that really necessary!? Standing behind Diegi¡¯s collapsing body is the forever expressionless tutorial monster, next to the fallen fruit tree that Diegi hadn¡¯t been able to taste the fruit of even once. And even further behind the tree is Gloria with tears streaming from her eyes. Oh, so that¡¯s it. The monster must have beheaded me. Damn, that was not a clean cut¡ª I feel bad for whoever has to clean up all the blood and guts. Wait, no, what the hell am I talking about!? No one¡¯s gonna clean that up¡ª I¡¯m dying! And die he does. For what feels like the umpteenth time in a single day, his vision once again slowly fades to black, and his thoughts go silent before he can even feel the *thunk* of his head hitting the ground.
# Diegi wakes up in a familiar blue void, sitting on a familiar white plastic chair. It¡¯s the place where he spoke with Automoderator for the first time. I guess the AI wants to have a few choice words with me before I pass on¡­ Even thinking about how he died makes him feel depressed. What a lame way to go out. ¡°I didn¡¯t even make it through the Paxdom Fields¡­ never even got to see the city of Paxdom, even from a distance. I bet it would look really cool to see it with my own eyes¡­¡± So lame. There had been so many things he¡¯d wanted to do before he died. Play more MYTH. Get a girlfriend. Top the leaderboards of MYTH. Beat 100 VR Pros in¡ª okay, maybe he hadn¡¯t had too many things he wanted to do before he died. Dying still sucked, though. Diegi hangs his head in disgrace, not saying anything more until a familiar disembodied voice speaks up. ¡°Yeah?¡± He doesn¡¯t even react to Automoderator¡¯s sudden appearance, aside from giving a one-word response. ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°Nah. Wait, actually¡ª I do have a few.¡± Diegi sits up in his chair, temporarily regaining some of the light in his eyes. ¡°What was up with me having such abysmal attributes and stats? Is it really fair to kill me here when I was playing with such a shitty handicap? I didn¡¯t even get a starter weapon or anything!¡± ¡°Yeah, well you could have at least fixed my avatar after I¡¯d already left! Y¡¯know, make it so I don¡¯t almost die from getting scratched by a tree? You¡¯re supposed to have total control over this place, right!?¡± <...> ¡°Ah, whatever. Go ahead, kill me.¡± Diegi leans back in his chair, waiting for the nothingness of death to hit. Or, the whatever-happens-to-you-after-you-die-in-a-video-game-world-iness. He even closes his eyes. But, no matter how long he waits, nothing happens. Eventually, Automoderator speaks up again. ¡°Eh?¡± ¡°The hell? What does that matter to me now? I¡¯m dead!¡± ¡°Well, I don¡¯t. Stop stalling and just get rid of me already!¡± Another pause. Time stretches on, and on, and on¡­ Diegi starts counting sheep in his head, just to give himself something to do. Time stretches on, seconds into minutes into what feels like hours. Until¡ªIf you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. ¡°Huh? I don¡¯t think I¡¯ve ever heard you swear before. What¡¯s wrong, widdle baby Automod can¡¯t handle a little¡ª¡± ¡°Eh? In the middle of the tutorial, I think.¡± Even without being able to see Automod¡¯s face (do AI have a face?), Diegi can just feel the sheer panic and anger emanating from the digital overlord¡¯s voice. It¡¯s a total loss of composure compared to the bot¡¯s normal haughty demeanor. ¡°Is that a problem or something?¡± <¡­> ¡°Hellooooo??¡± <...I¡¯m sending you back.> ¡°Huh!?¡± Upon hearing this, Diegi sits straight up in his chair. A hopeful expression blossoms on his face, replacing his previously depressed and angsty demeanor. Sending him back? Where¡ª to the real world? Back with his mother? Does that mean he won¡¯t have to die after all? Diegi¡¯s hopes are dashed in an instant, and he slumps back in his cheap plastic chair. Why was he hinging his hopes on a pseudo-deity who couldn¡¯t even afford leather seats, anyway? ¡°Well, it¡¯s better than dying forever, but why? I thought you said no respawns?¡± ¡°Well, at least fix my attributes and stats before you send me back! Oh, and bump my Overall Level up a few notches too!¡± ¡°What the hell? I thought this was YOUR WORLD!?¡± What had started as a somewhat civil and self-reflective conversation quickly devolves into a screaming match between man and superpowered machine. ¡°SO HOW DO I MAKE IT TO PAXDOM ALIVE WHEN I CAN¡¯T EVEN RUN A FEW PACES WITHOUT GETTING TIRED!?¡± ¡°Again¡­ How do you expect me to get there when I¡¯m as weak as this? Answer the question, stupid bot!¡± ¡°WHY SHOULD I¡ª oh, I¡¯m back.¡± A totally indignant Diegi begins to form a response only for his vision to *shift* in the middle of his sentence. The blue void warps in the span of an instant, quickly turning into the familiar Starter¡¯s Hut, and the white plastic chair that Diegi was sitting on is replaced by a wooden rocking chair. Unlike the first time Diegi arrived, however, there aren¡¯t any blue screens for him to set up his avatar with. It looks like he¡¯s truly stuck with his rather crappy current build. Hmmph. Well, no point in sticking around. But if that AI thinks he can dodge my questions forever, he¡¯s got another thing coming. Moving on from that, though¡­ ¡°¡­What a day! I mean, I really thought I was dead when I got beheaded there. Good thing I spent so long on the tutorial, I guess.¡± ¡°AAAHH!! Come on, stop doing that! Give a warning or something before you just start speaking whenever you want!¡± Diegi jumps a little in his seat, a little surprised to hear Automoderator¡¯s voice again so soon after being transported from the blue void. To his credit, however, he doesn¡¯t start running in circles this time. ¡°Do I have a choice? Oh, actually¡ª there¡¯s a lot I need to know about this world and how to relates the original MYTH game. If you¡¯re going to tag along, could you at least answer some questions?¡± ¡°This has gotta be child abuse or something¡­ fine, I¡¯ll do it. I¡¯ll play your game. But I¡¯ll do it my way.¡± Muttering to himself as he gets out of the rocking chair, Diegi walks over to the door of the hut and violently throws it open, already weary of adventuring in this world. He¡¯d always wished he could see the world of his favorite MMORPG game in real life, but if he¡¯d known it was gonna be like this¡­! This whole reincarnation thing is gonna ruin my love for MYTH, won¡¯t it? Thinking such negative thoughts, he gingerly takes a step outside, returning to the Paxdom fields. He¡¯d already hit the limit of how far he could go as an ordinary guy¡ª a regular player. He¡¯d died after what, an hour or two? But he hasn¡¯t even begun showing how far he could go as himself¡ª a grade-A troll, a glitch exploiter, and a general scumbag. So maybe it¡¯s time to take back those words he¡¯d uttered about changing his ways. Hello world: Trolegi has arrived.
## It¡¯s been around fifteen minutes now. Upon exiting the Starter¡¯s Hut, Diegi had looked ahead of him, at the southward branch of the ¡°tutorial path,¡± ready to resume his journey to Paxdom and make a big impact on the world of MYTH. This time, he¡¯d be a hero. This time, he¡¯d fulfill his destiny. Carrying these resolutions in his heart, he¡¯d taken a big step¡ª north. Yes, he was walking directly away from Paxdom. ¡°Mmm?¡± ¡°Yeah, I know.¡± Humming leisurely as he walks, Diegi continues to intentionally deviate from the tutorial¡¯s designated route until he comes up against an invisible wall. Stumbling backwards, he rubs the tip of his nose that had just been slightly squashed. ¡°Ow! I mean¡ª Yeah! I found it!¡± Squinting his eyes and looking forward carefully, Diegi spots a strange blue shimmer in the air. It¡¯s the barrier that MYTH uses to keep new players from straying too far from the designated route. Since I started as a human, this barrier should extend in a dome around Paxdom¡­ right? ¡°I said it before: from now on, I¡¯m playing my way. If you¡¯re gonna saddle me with shit-tier stats, then I¡¯ll do whatever it takes to advance.¡± Diegi ignores the nagging voice and continues to inspect the barrier. Throwing out his arm, then his leg, he confirms that he can¡¯t pass it no matter what he does. And every time he makes impact, a low musical note akin to a buzz rings through the air. It¡¯s distinctly digital in nature¡ª not a sound you¡¯d expect from the world of MYTH. Smiling at his discovery of the ¡°tutorial barrier¡± used to keep new players in line, Diegi tosses a sentence at Automod. ¡°So, you said that even you have to follow some rules of the game. And since this game-world is basically MYTH Infinite Fantasy¡¯s world, all I have to do to complete the tutorial is register at Paxdom¡¯s guild hall. No matter how much instruction I skip to do it.¡± ¡°Oh, yeah. This is gonna be fun.¡± Without giving a subsequent response, Diegi turns directly to his left, steps off of the path, and¡ª keeping one arm against the transparent barrier¡ª begins to lightly run.
### As Diegi approaches his intended location while still sliding against the barrier, a game notification appears. [ Agility Level Increased! ] ¡°That¡¯s the second time now! All I need to increase my Agility attribute level is a bit of running, huh? Seems too easy. Oh¡­ I guess that it¡¯s easier to boost attributes when they¡¯re still small, though.¡± And my attributes aren¡¯t just small right now. They¡¯re practically nonexistent. If only I had something to compensate¡­ ¡°Hey¡ª Automod, if you can¡¯t mess with my stats or attributes, how about giving me an OP skill or something? Isn¡¯t that a game-world reincarnation industry standard?¡± Diegi waits and braces himself for the echoing voice to fill his head, but encounters nothing but his own thoughts instead. ¡°Hello¡­? Automod? You there?¡± Hmm. I guess the AI got bored or something. Diegi spares a few moments for thought and then begins to slow as he approaches his target. He wasn¡¯t sure if the locations of stationary mobs would be the same in this simulated world as they were in MYTH, but it seems that he¡¯s lucked out¡ª just on the other side of the barrier, sitting on a patch of lush green grass, is the hidden menace of the Paxdom Fields: a Man-Eater Banana monster. It¡¯s around 30% ¡®planted¡¯ into the ground vertically, colored bright orange with yellow stripes, and has a vine twisting from the top of its stem to the ground. You¡¯d never guess that it was a monster and not just a regular plant formation object, but that was intentional¡ª many a MYTH newbie had been suddenly engaged in battle by one of these plants, often dying without having the chance to figure out what was even attacking them. In reality, it was the mouth full of sharp teeth that resides on the bottom of the plant, kept hidden by being buried. The thought of such a game mechanic being purposefully added makes Diegi laugh softly. ¡°Heh heh¡­ a living, fighting, ambushing Banana. Hell, it¡¯s basically an in-game troll. Even the developers have a sense of humor. Much more fun than Automod, anyways.¡± Diegi, at Level 0 and with a functionally crippled avatar, had no chance of defeating the man-eater banana. It attacks in a strange way: The plant turns over and exposes its mouth, after which several vines shoot out to either ensnare the player or deal flailing damage. The vines¡¯ binding attacks were programmed hilariously badly¡ª they were slow, the sound the game played for them was awful (like a crinkling bag of chips), and they often displaced players on impact instead of properly grabbing them¡ª but an Agility level of 2 isn¡¯t fast enough to dodge the more formidable flailing attacks. ¡°Hmm¡­ yup, I can¡¯t touch it. The Man-Eater¡¯s on the other side of the barrier, after all.¡± Thankfully, regardless of his attribute levels or physical positioning, he won¡¯t need to defeat the monster for his plan to work. Indeed, Diegi can¡¯t even get close enough to the plant to deal damage to it. It¡¯s right there¡ª only a meter or two away¡ª but the indestructible blue wall separates him from the body of the Man-Eater Banana. Pressing his palm against the transparent barrier, Diegi simply stops and stares for a moment, expressionlessly observing the sleeping Man-Eater on the other side. Then his face splits into a wide smile. ¡°Okay, here I go¡ª start the timer, cause I¡¯m getting to Paxdom in less than ten minutes.¡± Not the most reassuring words, considering his previous track record. That makes, what, two cocky time-related one liners in the span of a single day. But hey, who¡¯s counting¡­? Chapter 6: Banana Skip Chapter 6: Banana Skip ¡°It¡¯s moments like these that I remember I¡¯m not really inside the game. I can actually dig, and modify the terrain!¡± Still next to the blue barrier and the huge orange Man-Eater Banana, Diegi¡¯s currently crouching down and scraping away with his bare hands at the dirt beneath his feet. He¡¯s not sure if this will work¡ª in fact, he was a little disheartened when we first arrived and didn¡¯t see ¡°it¡± right away. But then, he reasoned, it might be underground. If he¡¯s in a simulation-world of MYTH and not the game itself, he feels that certain details would be tweaked to make things more realistic. And then, after a little bit of digging¡ª he finds it. What is ¡°it¡±? Lying in front of Diegi, pale purplish-orange in color, is a root. To be more specific, the root of the giant Man-Eater Banana monster plant that lies across the barrier. Because yes, as well as vines, this giant Banana has roots. Go figure. No tree, no problem, I guess. Well, maybe if you¡¯re a demonic monster fruit. But more importantly¡ª ¡°There we go! Yeah, baby!¡± Upon finding the root, Diegi gives a small cheer. No one¡¯s around to hear it, of course, but might as well get excited anyways. ¡°Okay, now all I need is the stick from the tutorial and I can really start cooking.¡± The first stick that the game instructs the player to pick up can be used as a weapon. It¡¯s ridiculously weak, but still serves to teach the player how to access the weapons portion of their inventory and check a weapon¡¯s stats. ¡°When I picked it up before, it just disappeared in my hands¡­ it had to have gone to my inventory. So¡­¡± Diegi¡¯s confident expression falters slightly. ¡°Wait¡­ how do I open my menus again!?¡± He had completely forgotten. Despite being placed in a MYTH world, he had no access to one of the fundamental features of the game¡ª the menu, that he needed to even start performing his glitch in the first place! Or, you know, do more normal things like check his status and inventory. ¡°Hey! Automod, are you there! You said you¡¯d keep an eye on me! Just this once, come back!¡± The wind runs through the high grass, making a pleasant rushing noise. But still. no disembodied voice. Of course the AI will bother me all day when uninvited, but when I actually want it to show up and talk¡ª not a single peep. ¡°Teach me how to open the menu! MENU! MENU! MENU!¡± Diegi, with no other options (or maybe just a lack of thought), begins to loudly chant, hoping to summon the presence of the Automoderator with nothing but his slightly hoarse voice. Not even he really expects it to work, but he really needs to find out how to open the menu in order to keep working through this time-saving skip. And so he continues, on and on. ¡°MENU! MENU! MENU! ME-¡± Interrupting him mid-chant, a robotic voice once again invades Diegi¡¯s mind. But still¡­ ¡°MENU! MENU!¡± ¡°MENU!¡± ¡°MEN¡ª oh, you¡¯re here? That actually worked!?¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s just my way of¡­ you know what, nevermind. No matter why you¡¯re here, the point is that I need to figure out how to open the menu!¡± ¡°What? You¡¯re still changing things even as I stand here, in YOUR world, under YOUR rules? Shouldn¡¯t you have done that BEFORE dropping me in this world? Wait, no, let¡¯s stay on track. Just tell me how to open the menu now and I promise I¡¯ll get to Paxdom in less than ten minutes! Then I¡¯ll finish the whole damn tutorial as fast as greased molasses!¡± <...> ¡°What? Oh, shit, I got the expression wrong, didn¡¯t I? I mean, greased lightning! As fast as greased lightning!¡± A few moments of silence. Tired of waiting, Diegi¡¯s face twists into a somewhat mocking expression. ¡°Or, what? You want me to be stuck dying forever in these fields, and you being stuck unable to erase me? You like my company that much?¡± ¡°Oooh, so it¡¯s a series of hand motions. That¡¯s pretty neat, actually. Thanks!¡±If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it. Flicking his wrist a few times, Diegi manages to open the menu. It takes a few attempts, and he notes that he has to draw a rectangle of a specific size. Then, the main menu opens. ¡°Let¡¯s see what we have here. Overall, Stats, Attributes, Equipment¡ª hey, Inventory!¡± A panorama of small blue rectangle-screens appear in front of Diegi, forcing him to make vague swiping motions with his fingers to scroll and find what he wants. When he sees a screen marked Inventory, he taps it and it promptly expands. The layout of the now-larger Inventory panel is reminiscent of MYTH¡¯s inventory, but not exactly the same. For once thing, each individual item appears much smaller and doesn¡¯t show a name. It would be easy to confuse similar-looking items for each other. A lot of the descriptive information was missing too, like the flavortext and certain item stats. At least the object type still showed up when he hovered his finger over the item icons. ¡°Here it is, the first item I stored¡ª the wooden stick! And it¡¯s, just like it should be, listed as both a weapon and sword-type item. So, I¡¯m guessing I just have to tap it to take it out, huh?¡± Diegi stops and looks a little closer at the menu before doing so, wanting to see how much information he can glean from the little screen alone. [ Inventory: ] [ Wooden Stick ] [ Weapon ] [ Sword Item ] [ Level: 0 ] Information gleaned: Not much. Well, seeing item levels was pretty useful, but he wouldn¡¯t be able to know what differentiated items from each other in terms of abilities, stats, attributes, or even lore. Moving his finger with a sigh, Diegi ¡°presses¡± the small icon of the stick and watches as a familiar wooden sensation appears in his hand. The stick hadn¡¯t popped into the air or fallen out of the menu or something, it had simply just¡­ materialized in a small flash of light. That voice seems awfully smug for an AI. Figures that the first one to develop emotions uses them exclusively to rag on me and ruin my life. Well, I¡¯ll show it! After a brief pause, that he uses to survey the still-stationary form of the nearby Man-Eater Banana, Diegi responds to Automoderator¡¯s words. ¡°Just watch. You see this root right here? If I attack it, the Man-Eater Banana on the other side of the barrier¡¯ll switch to aggressive mode. But since it can¡¯t attack me through the barrier, it¡¯ll switch right back to being passive. All within the span of a few seconds.¡± Lifting up a portion of the freshly unearthed monster-plant root and angling his head vaguely upwards, Diegi begins to smile more and more as he holds his conversation with Automod. He¡¯s going to enjoy what comes next. ¡°Well, then, tell me this: what would happen if I fully started a fight with the monster anyways? If, despite the barrier, the monster entered battle mode and sustained it, despite both of us being on separate sides?¡± <...As you just said, that can¡¯t happen.> ¡°Yup, as I¡¯ve showed before, I can¡¯t get past the barrier no matter what I do. So normally, you would be right¡ª if this Man-Eater here didn¡¯t have one of the jankiest attacks in the game. Watch closely¡ª if I don¡¯t mess this up, you¡¯re about to see something really cool.¡± ¡°Come on, don¡¯t knock it til you¡¯ve seen it! Now let¡¯s go!¡± And, after dropping the root, Diegi lifts his foot and stomps on it. After a slight moment of tension¡ª on the other side of the barrier, the Man-Eater gives a massive twitch and rolls onto its side, with its bottom half approaching the transparent blue wall. Where the bottom end of the Banana would normally be is a mouth resembling a bird¡¯s beak, but full of bloodied razor-sharp teeth. At the appearance of a new threat, even more of the giant Banana¡¯s speckled orange skin peels away to reveal more of its grotesque beak and¡ª oddly animal-like innards. At the same time, vines lying around the fruit begin to rise into the air and undulate menacingly, preparing to respond to their sudden attacker. As he watches the display, even though it¡¯s a clear show of aggression, Diegi¡¯s eyes light up. He¡¯s seen it a million times before while playing on his computer, but seeing video phenomena play out in ¡®real life¡¯ is just surreal. It would be even better if he had a stronger body or couldn¡¯t feel pain, but¡ª well, as long as he didn¡¯t get hit, he would be fine, right? Yeah, right. Let¡¯s just focus on not being cut by vines to death, or slammed to death, or squashed against the barrier to death¡ª actually, let¡¯s just not think about death at all. I¡¯m freaking myself out here. Since the monster is not a player but an in-game mob, its vines can cross the barrier just fine. Just as the vines begin to grow towards Diegi¡ª he dashes forwards, dodging their slow attempts to grab him. He gives a woop as he continues to evade the ridiculously inaccurate vines, quickly approaching the Banana¡¯s body. ¡°Whoo! I guess luck is smiling on me today, ¡®cause the Man-Eater led with its ridiculously ineffective binding attack instead of the flailing one! This saves us some time¡­¡± Paying no mind to the nagging unbeliever, Diegi readies the stick in his hand in an impromptu wind-up position, evidently preparing for a thrust. Though his speed and strength are both abysmal, his form is passable, and he seems to accelerate slightly as he drives his stick forwards. A small glint appears in the air, similar to the shine of a fencer¡¯s rapier in the sun, but of course the stick has no such reflective surface. ¡°Only a few more seconds before it reverts to passive¡­ come on, come on, where are you?¡± Diegi swivels his head back and forth as he runs, looking for something. He¡¯s been doing a great job dodging the vines so far¡ª although given his absurdly low Agility attribute, it¡¯s more like the binding vines have been doing a terrible job ensnaring him. Everything¡¯s going well, but now that he¡¯s this close to the plant, he¡¯s still on the lookout for any more vines. And throughout it all, he continues holding his stick as a sword, ready to thrust it forwards at any moment towards the monster. Still, even as Diegi approaches the body of the Man-Eater, the barrier looms in front of him, unavoidably separating him from the monster plant. Diegi ignores the voice, instead continuing to look around him. And then, it happens. ¡°There! There¡¯s one!¡± A slow moving vine, easily dodgeable, swooshes down towards him. If he makes it around this one last vine of defense, he¡¯ll easily be able to attack the Man-Eater¡ª or, more accurately, crash into the blue barrier that separates him from it. However, Diegi does not dodge. The vine ensnares him in a thorny binding, and the ¡°glint¡± of Diegi¡¯s stick-sword fades. Diegi¡¯s eyes widen, and he gives a small grunt of pain. Then, the Man-Eater Banana¡¯s beak mouth full of teeth gives a mighty twitch, anticipating its prey, and opens itself wide. Struggling to stay focused while he¡¯s being painfully squeezed, Diegi mutters to himself. ¡°Wait for it¡­ wait for it¡­¡± Unfortunately for the monster, however, it cannot eat the ensnared Diegi unless he crosses the barrier. Just as it is protected from Diegi, the opposite is also true. A stalemate, then. Both sides are unable to attack or be attacked¡ª in a few moments, the Man-Eater will return to its passive state and the battle will be over. But before that happens, the vines holding Diegi continue to pull him closer towards the Man-Eater Banana¡¯s open mouth, thinking that he can still be eaten. Diegi grows closer and closer to the barrier, until he¡¯s almost close enough to reach out and touch it. But at the same time, the mouth of the Man-Eater begins to close, signalling the end of its aggressive state. ¡°NOW!!¡± The stick-sword regains its glint, shining in the sunlight, and Diegi shoves it forwards. As he¡¯d hoped, the game-world recognized the basic sword attack he¡¯s so often used while playing MYTH¡ª Lunge¡ª and so it aids him slightly in the motion, pushing him further forwards. That small assist is enough to close the distance between him and the barrier. In an outstretched hand, his stick sword rests on the barrier for a moment, as if preparing to rebound. *tink* But in the next moment, instead of bouncing off, it passes through. And, letting go of the stick, so does the loosely bound Diegi. Instead of colliding with the blue wall, his arm thickly phases through it like it¡¯s water. The Man-Eater¡¯s closing mouth, dripping with some sort of viscous green saliva, twitches and suddenly opens ever wider, instinctually reawakened to its aggressive state by the barrier crossing despite not being able to perceive why. The vines binding Diegi pull themselves into the Man-Eater¡¯s mouth, and the monster clamps down¡ª on nothing but empty air. Automoderator¡¯s robotic voice suddenly screams out, with an uncanny likeness to something like a cry of pain. An incessant buzzing begins to fill the air. Reality overturns itself, Diegi feels with his arm both open air and a cloying solid thickness, his vision blurs, and at the very last moment¡ª ¡°And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the oh-so-efficient Human Tutorial Skip-Warp. We will now be transported.¡± ¡ªafter uttering those words, his reserved smirk turns into a wide smile. In the space between this second and the next, a final long low *BUZZ* can be heard, and he simply vanishes without a trace. In his absence, certain bits of the blue barrier begin to shift in a visually odd manner, distorting and pixelating, but none of that would be visible to anyone but Diegi or Automoderator anyways. The confused Man-Eater Banana, suddenly finding its binding vines with exactly nothing caught inside them, quickly reverts to passive mode and buries its beak-like mouth underground. Meanwhile, Diegi¡¯s abandoned sword-stick falls to the ground in his absence with a clatter, or at least it should have done so. But instead, it hangs suspended, half stuck inside of the barrier and half not. A rabbit-like creature, not a monster but instead a part of MYTH¡¯s immersive natural scenery, scurries up through the thick grass and inspects the floating stick. As a natural part of the world, it cannot see the barrier, nor can the barrier interact with it. So, it leaps up and attempts to bite the stick¡ª only to fall to the ground, confused, with an identical stick in its mouth. It looks up again: the original stick is still there, floating suspended in the air. Instinctually sensing that it shouldn¡¯t continue messing with such an unnatural occurrence, it quickly drops the cloned stick and scampers away. Chapter 7: A Wrinkle In Space Chapter 7: A Wrinkle in Space ¡°U- ugh¡­ I think that I¡¯m¡­ almost there¡­¡± Near the end of a certain path in the Paxdom Fields, what we would know thus far as the ¡°tutorial path,¡± a certain girl is limping along and dragging a cart behind her. The wooden apparatus is missing a wheel, so it¡¯s slowing her down, but the baked goods lying on it are still somehow still in pristine condition. The girl, as she takes her uneven steps, glances fearfully behind her. ¡°It¡¯s not¡­ still there¡­ is it?¡± It goes without saying that this is not our (debatably) illustrious protagonist, Diegi. No, it¡¯s the young woman he¡¯s previously met, Gloria¡ª and the presence she¡¯s looking for is the tutorial monster. Though, she isn¡¯t aware of the beast¡¯s true identity as a part of Diegi¡¯s tutorial¡¯s progression. Regardless, she can still remember it in all its disgusting glory: vaguely humanoid with long limbs, but perpetually hunched and dripping with blackish goo. It could have been a trick of her imagination, but she swore its eyes were glowing red as well. All things considered, it was not the kind of monster one would expect to find in the peaceful plant-themed Paxdom Fields. Unfortunately, thinking of the monster also makes Gloria think of the adventurer she¡¯d seen during the same timeframe. ¡°Ulp¡ª¡± Leaning over, Gloria retches on the side of the path. Thankfully, she doesn¡¯t actually throw up, but her discomfort is evident to see. The memory of the stranger¡¯s head¡­ and questionable parts¡­ being separated from his body and the resulting mess is almost too much for her to bear. Thankfully¡ª due to how weak he was, most likely¡ª it hadn¡¯t taken long for what was left of him to dissolve into red light, marking his permanent death. After the adventurer boy died, it hadn¡¯t taken long for the monster to turn on her. Gloria had run away, desperately tripping and injuring herself multiple times. In fact, the monster hadn¡¯t touched her even once¡ª her only source of injury was her accidentally self-inflicted scrapes and tumbles born of her overwhelming fear. After a little while of this panicked flight, she¡¯d turned around to see if the monster had increased its pace or gotten any closer to her¡ª but it was gone. Like it had never been there in the first place, not even leaving any traces of its dark oozing goo on the path. So, she had gone back to retrieve her cart. Now, Gloria walks alone, periodically sighing and shaking her head. ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­ sir¡­¡± Whispering to only the gently blowing breeze, Gloria expresses her regret over her ineptitude. If only she¡¯d fought¡ª if only she¡¯d had the courage to fight¡ª if only she¡¯d mustered up the willpower to cast a single minor spell from the sidelines¡ª would the strange, boastful adventurer still be alive? Though he¡¯d been utterly baffling and rather coarse in terms of personality, she believes that all human life has value; doesn¡¯t that mean she¡¯s a sinner for letting him die? And so her thoughts continue to swirl, an endless cycle of self-torment, until the giant gates and imposing stone walls of the city of Paxdom slowly come into view in the distance. It¡¯s an impressive sight, as always, especially with the large river and countless runoffs that flow into the city on one side and out of the city on the other. Initially, she¡¯d been travelling away from Paxdom, but after being attacked she¡¯d decided to quickly head towards the closest large human settlement for safety. ¡°Oh¡ª you were travelling here, weren¡¯t you?¡± She remembers that the adventurer had originally been walking in this direction, and¡ª no, that¡¯s enough. If she dwells too much on the subject, she¡¯ll never stop. For now, she has to focus on reaching the city. Her sin is written in stone¡ª she¡¯ll never see the now-dead adventurer again, and she has to focus on safety¡ª and as she approaches the wide open gates of the First Human City visible on the horizon, throbbing with throngs of people going in and out, she takes measured steps, regaining her balance. Soon, she¡¯ll be close enough to the city that there¡¯ll be enough people around to protect her and fight any threats that might appear around her. Oh, and guards! Can¡¯t forget the guards. She won¡¯t end up like he did¡ª like he did¡ª *BUZZ* An indescribable sound travels through the air. It¡¯s loud, but not too loud. It¡¯s not brash like the clashing of a cymbal, or reserved like the clicking of metal, or resounding like the beating of a drum. If she had to describe it, Gloria would say it sounds like infinite layers of a single, low musical note. It¡¯s¡­ unnatural, unlike any instrument she¡¯s ever heard¡ª starting, sounding, and stopping, with no echoes whatsoever. In all honesty, however, the sound isn¡¯t what¡¯s important. The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation. Unbeknownst to Gloria, a spatial distortion of sorts occurs a couple of meters to her left and above. The area distorts and warps, details becoming blurry and portrayed as a series of floating blocks instead of a smooth scene. It becomes, in a word: pixelated. The distortion is not a spatial magic spell, nor is it some sort of skill; it¡¯s completely foreign to the natural order of the world. And as a result of this abrupt appearance, or more accurately as a result of the mass of bare flailing limbs being ejected from this oddity: Gloria feels, from out of the blue, a massive impact on her left side¡ª she¡¯s completely bowled over, letting go of the handle of her cart and being flung off of the path. She was blinking when she was hit, so she can¡¯t make heads nor tails of the situation¡ª or even scream¡ª before roughly slamming into a fruit tree in the tall grass. ¡°Ugh¡­ what?¡± She¡¯s ever so dazed by the impact, but still retains control by her basic functions. Rubbing her hair of brown-and-blond curls, she slowly and groggily opens her eyes. And then¡­ she can¡¯t believe what she sees. ¡°Ow! Ow ow ow! Shit, that hurt¡ª I mean, ha HA! Take that, Automod! Look, there¡¯s Paxdom! There¡¯s the Paxdom River, the Paxdom gates¡ª I¡¯m here! And it only took like 6 minutes if you count the current run! Yeah, DIEGI WINS AGAIN!!¡± Sprawled onto the ground only a few feet away from her¡ª covered in dirt and ooze and still only wearing that odd black underwear¡ª is the adventurer that she was sure she¡¯d just witnessed the death of. Even as she watches, he continues to babble on for quite a while, completely oblivious of his surroundings. In fact, the world babble might not even cover the length of his speech. Instead of ¡®babble¡¯ it¡¯s more like ¡®rant.¡¯ Observe: ¡°Ha ha! Well, Automod? You wanna learn how to do the skip? I¡¯ll take that as a yes! The principle behind it is really quite simple¡­ That blue tutorial wall is supposed to be entirely impossible to pass through! Thanks to the extension of my collision frame granted by holding a sword-type object, the slight positionary displacement wrought by the Man-Eater Banana¡¯s poorly-coded binding vine attacks, and the in-game Attack Assist system recognizing my stick-sword thrust as a proper Lunge, I managed to tweak my avatar¡¯s placement just enough to be in-range of the Man-Eater¡¯s mouth even from the other side of the barrier.¡± He pauses to take a breath. ¡°Of course, when you get hit by this attack in-game, an animation plays where the monster uses its vines to stuff you in its mouth for a bit. But since the Man-Eater is on the other side of the barrier, a problem arises¡­ in order to be properly chewed on by the monster, I have to be placed on the inaccessible side of the tutorial barrier. At this point, the game totally freaks out because it has no idea what to do. If I was simply inside the barrier, it would push me back out like for the Rocket-Rat Glitch¡ª but due to the very slight bug-induced displacement in this case, it¡¯s like I¡¯m both inside the barrier and outside the barrier at the same time.¡± He coughs slightly and continues speaking, despite the faint look of discomfort that settles over his features. ¡°So, it starts randomly assigning my position and velocity until I¡¯m totally back inside of the barrier, probably using some variable overflow from other parts of the game. As a result, I get ping-ponged around until I¡¯m back into what the game considers an ¡°acceptable zone¡± for me to be in. Where you end up inside of the barrier is kind of random though¡­ It took me a couple of tries to get this close to Paxdom. And a few of the crash-landings killed me.¡± He seriously begins hacking, pounding on his own chest a couple times before resuming in a raspier voice. ¡°But! Ignoring all the failed attempts and counting only from my last death, it took less than 10 minutes to get here, so it still counts! Besides, you know what they say, use glitches at your own risk. Some of the more intensive ones can even corrupt some server data and do stuff like clone game objects or slow down performance. Eh, whatever¡ª this time, nothing went wrong and more importantly I WON!¡± And finally, he finishes in a voice that¡¯s barely a whisper. ¡°Take that, you stupid¡­ hey, are you even listening? Oh, come on!¡± With that, the boy flops flat on his back and starts wheezing. How he managed to get through that entire spiel without a sip of water or even a real break is beyond Gloria¡¯s comprehension. After launching into another coughing fit that marks the end of his incomprehensible speech, the adventurer tilts his head slightly, as if listening to someone, before making a shocked expression and swivelling his gaze to focus on Gloria. ¡°Oh! Hey, hey, Gloria! Remember me! That guy you met before, who fought against that scary gooey monster for you! I know I never told you my name, but it¡¯s Diegi.¡± ¡°...!?¡± Gloria, lulled into a kind of trance by the boy¡¯s rapid-fire speech, is awakened by the direct address and gasps in what can only be described as abject shock and horror. Her breathing speeds up and she shakily gets to her feet after being knocked into the tree. ¡°Hey, so¡ª the timing might be kind of bad right now, but I¡¯m really hungry and I noticed you still have that bread cart from earlier.¡± It¡¯s. Impossible. It can¡¯t. Be possible. What she¡¯s seeing, what she¡¯s seen, what she was seeing, has to be has to be has to be¡ª ¡°So, could I have another bit of bread? I¡¯ll pay you back eventually. Probably.¡± ¡ªhas to be what she hates, no, what she fears, more than anything else in the world. ¡°Monster¡­ y¡ª you¡¯re just taking the poor dead adventurer¡¯s form¡­ p¡ª P¡ª PHANTOM!!¡± Screaming, Gloria bolts upright and begins running blindly away from the path. She doesn¡¯t care about getting to Paxdom anymore¡ª she doesn¡¯t care about her carefully maintained grains and baked goods¡ª she just needs to get away as fast as possible, from this obviously accursed dirt path that¡¯s rife with rare monsters like strange humanoids and appearance-stealing phantoms¡ª *THOCK* Or, at least, those are the thoughts that go through her mind before she runs smack-dab into another fruit tree after making it only a few meters away from the first. # ¡°Eh? Gloria? Hello?¡± Crouching and waving his hand over her face, Diegi attempts to rouse the knocked-unconscious NPC girl. No luck. ¡°Automod? Ya there?¡± He then speaks to the voice in his head, who¡¯d been strangely unintelligible for the past few minutes. Words like that were constantly being rattled off in a listless, almost hopeless sounding voice. Could AI even express such bleak emotions? And if he considered that scream Automod gave before conking out like this¡­ What in the world was going on? All Diegi had done was break the fabric of the game¡¯s reality with a little glitch. It was totally harmless, so there was really no need for everyone around him to start acting so strangely. Whatever. I¡¯m done trying to understand this situation. I declare a Brain Break! He¡¯d actually been pretty eager to explain (or more like brag about) the mechanics behind the classic Human Tutorial Skip-Warp exploit to Automod, but if the AI was just going to keep rambling like that, he¡¯d have to wait until it recovered. And in the meantime¡­ ¡­I should probably keep an eye on Gloria until she wakes up, after crashing into her like that. Poor girl. Having internally decided on his course of action, Diegi¡ª he¡ª stands up¡­ and¡­ starts walking back towards the tutorial path? Away from the sleeping Gloria?? ¡°Not like you can hear me or anything, but I¡¯ll be back in a sec. If I¡¯m going to be stuck waiting for you to wake up for who knows how long, then I¡¯m getting some more bread from your cart. Sorry, Gloria.¡± Ah, right. The boundless appetite of this scrawny boy¡¯s stomach strikes again. Should have seen that coming. Chapter 8: Rude Awakening Chapter 8: Rude Awakening Sleep is peaceful. When sleeping, she can forget about all her worries. She doesn¡¯t have to worry about processing life¡¯s constant influx of new information, instead simply letting the sounds of a burbling stream flow in through one ear and out the other. She doesn¡¯t have to worry about selling her goods, or supporting herself, or finding her father, or improving her magic, or anything. She can relax, in a state of perfect bliss. She can relax, for the next¡­ oh, 5 seconds or so? *SPLASH* ¡°Ah! Cold!¡± Gloria, finding her face drenched with frigid water, bolts upright from her lying-down position and hits her head on her knees. The tall grass of the Paxdom Fields tickles her nose as she does so. Then, she rubs her head as she tries to figure out what¡¯s going on¡ª until a second voice chimes in. ¡°Wow, you touched your head to your knees so smoothly! You¡¯re pretty flexible, eh?¡± Gloria, confused but rendered slightly bashful by the praise, faintly smiles and nods. ¡°Thank you. Yes, I strive to stretch fairly regularly and¡ª wait¡­ huh??¡± Her brain finally catches up with her mouth, and she flops backward in surprise. Because crouching in front of her, holding a bucket¡ª her bucket¡ª of water is none other than a familiar, scrawny, nearly-naked boy. ¡®No,¡¯ she thinks. Not a boy, but a¡ª ¡°PHANTOM! G- GET AWAY!!¡± After making the initial panicked shriek, Gloria, under her breath, begins a short incantation; in response, the boy just drops her wooden bucket and watches curiously. After around five or six seconds, however, he backs up with a look of horror on his face. Because the end of Gloria¡¯s incantation, the tone of which has gone from quiet to shrill, is: ¡°By the blessing of the wind¡­ Scythe!¡± ¡°Huh? Wh- Woah, WAIT¡ª¡±
# ¡°You really didn¡¯t have to try and bisect me, eh? Wind magic is no joke, you know?¡± ¡°Well, sir, waking me up with cold water was out of line! Especially after moving me to an unknown location! How do you think I felt, waking up with a monster looming over me?¡± ¡°First: I told you, I¡¯m not a phantom, I¡¯m the real Diegi. Second: This isn¡¯t an unknown location, it¡¯s a stream that¡¯s not too far from the path you were just walking on. And Third: damn am I glad you actually stopped to listen to me about that before cutting me in two¡­ even if you only did so after a couple of failed attempts¡­¡± And Fourth: How come you act super scared and run away from any other monster, but when you see one that you think looks like me, you choose to attack instead despite still being scared? Is my face really that punchable!? Well, is it!? Diegi, of course, doesn¡¯t say this last part out loud, merely thinking it to himself as Gloria formulates her response. ¡°I had just seen you die at the hands of that horrible sludgy beast, of course it would take me a while to believe that you weren¡¯t a phantom! How are you even alive?¡± ¡°Ah, that death you saw was¡­ my Illusion Skill, yeah, that¡¯s it.¡± A total lie, but alas. Diegi can¡¯t exactly tell Gloria that he was brought back to life by an evil AI overlord hellbent on having Diegi complete its ¡®punishment¡¯ of completing 200 quests, and who plucked Diegi from his peaceful (even if he mostly spent it trolling others online) life on Earth and placed him in this world inspired by his favorite real-world video game, MYTH Infinite Fantasy. Even just thinking about his whole situation makes Diegi sound crazy, even to him. So he continues talking without missing a beat. ¡±Plus, don¡¯t try to paint me as the unreasonable one. You¡¯re the person who collapsed out of nowhere in the middle of a field. I did you a favor by taking you and your cart over here to this rivulet, then making sure you were alright! Even if I mostly only did so I could wash off the tutorial monster¡¯s stupid sludge¡­ wait, that¡¯s not important. Anyways, this is the thanks I get? I knew kindness doesn¡¯t pay!¡± Diegi and Gloria, standing both near a rapidly running stream and next to Gloria¡¯s cart of grains, turn away from each other in a huff. Though, they both soon realize that being standoffish will solve little, and so they sheepishly turn back. Diegi scratches his head and begins to think on how to move the conversation forwards so he can get to what he really wants to say. Before he can open his mouth, though¡ª Gloria¡¯s already bowed her head and begun speaking again. ¡°...I¡¯m sorry for accidentally attacking you. Thank you for confirming my safety.¡± Diegi, surprised but pleased by the sudden apology, simply nods in response. Gloria, who seemingly expected him to apologize for his rude behavior in turn (he doesn¡¯t¡ª go figure), waits for a few seconds before lifting her head and continuing with an uncertain expression. ¡°...if that¡¯s all, sir, I¡¯ll be taking my leave. I¡¯m seeking to enter the nearby city of Paxdom, you see.¡± Diegi starts to panic as he realizes his window of opportunity is swiftly closing. His demeanor instantly switches from confident to desperate and he falls onto his knees. He even goes as far as to clasp his hands together in a classic beggar¡¯s gesture. ¡°HOLD ON! Wait, I still have something to ask of you if you would pretty please hear me out.¡± ¡°U¡ª um¡­?¡± Gloria, who had begun to walk away, is stunned by Diegi¡¯s latest display of oddness. Diegi, noticing that she had paused for a second, takes his chance and continues explaining what he wants.Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon. ¡°So, you see¡­ I also need to enter Paxdom, but I¡¯m pretty sure that the guards won¡¯t let me in. From what I know about MYTH¡¯s lore¡ª I mean¡­ It¡¯s just that I¡¯m new in the area and as you can see I have nothing to prove my profession with. And I probably look suspicious as hell dressed like this in my undies. Can you help me out? Please?¡± Seriously, I¡¯m begging you! I want to complete my tutorial by registering at their Guild Hall so, so much! I need the level up so freakin¡¯ badly, my avatar¡¯s so weak a falling stick could probably kill meeeee!! Despite the heavy-duty additional begging going on inside of Diegi¡¯s thoughts, Gloria has an¡­ unwanted initial reaction to his spoken words: ¡®Such a ridiculous request¡¯, she thinks. What had happened to the serenity that the young woman had been experiencing only a short while ago? Gloria, struggling to process the sudden influx of information, takes a minute to form a response to Diegi¡¯s question. ¡°Well I¡ª um, to start, what do you actually want me to do? To help you get inside of Paxdom?¡± At that, Diegi tilts his head slightly to the side and adopts a brief confused expression. After a few moments of reflection, he gives Gloria a goofy grin and says ¡°Well, I¡¯ll take whatever help you can give! Got any ideas?¡± ¡°Sir¡­ you requested aid from me without even knowing what kind of aid you wanted?¡± ¡°No! I mean¡­ yes? Hold on, I have an idea! Wait, Gloria, hold on!¡± Gloria, for her part, had begun backing away slowly, like how you would from a bear or some other aggressive creature. Diegi reacts by fully prostrating himself and beginning to speak faster in an effort to better explain himself. ¡°What if¡ª I hide under all the grain you¡¯ve got in your cart! It¡¯s not too big, but I could probably fit, you¡¯ve seen how thin I am. That way, we can sneak past the guards¡ª Hold on, keep listening!¡± Gloria continues backing away. ¡°Wait, let¡¯s make it a deal! I¡¯ll give you something in return! Like, uh¡­ money! Yeah, I¡¯ll pay you! I got some from that tutorial chest!! Watch, I¡¯ll take it out from my Inventory¡ª¡± And Diegi, slightly lifting his head but making sure to keep himself prostrated, makes an odd motion with his right hand and begins to swipe at the air. Completely bewildered, Gloria can¡¯t guess what he¡¯s trying to do for the life of her. As Diegi flicks his arm about, his brows furrow for a moment and he mumbles to himself ¡ª ¡°Hey, why are these in here?¡± ¡ª but then his expression shifts to one of satisfaction and joy. ¡°There we go! Look, I found it!¡± In a minor flash of light, something appears in the boy¡¯s outstretched hand. No, not just something: it¡¯s a sack of gold coins. Gloria¡¯s completely flabbergasted, and she¡¯s sure she didn¡¯t see him pull the bag from some hidden ¡®Inventory¡¯ compartment in his skimpy underwear. Is the boy secretly an advanced mage capable of casting spatial distortion spells? No, she¡¯s seen his attribute levels, and given that his Wisdom is 0 there¡¯s simply no way he could be. But then, how? She decides to ask a question to determine the answer. ¡°Huh? Sir, where did you get that from?¡± Diegi, in response¡ª pays no mind to her confusion, because he¡¯s Diegi. And so, he resumes groveling with his sack of gold in hand¡ª and with very impressive form, by the way, pressing his face to the ground and everything¡ª to ask for her assistance. ¡°Never mind that, look, it¡¯s money! Here, gold! So help me out, okay? Please, please, pleasepleaseplease¡ª¡± The begs and pleads just won¡¯t stop coming. Eventually, Gloria stops backing away and sighs. Her instincts are screaming at her to leave the arrogant grovelling boy behind, but she just can¡¯t bring herself to abandon him in such a pathetic state. Even though she feels that she¡¯s already repaid his favor of fighting the monster for her by giving him free bread¡­ she crouches down and offers him a hand. ¡°It¡¯s alright sir, keep the money. And you can stand up. Here, how about we try to figure out how to make you presentable in order to get past the guards instead of defaulting to smuggling?¡± Diegi, happy and relieved, angles his face upwards once again. ¡°Really? Thanks!¡± He then tries to take her offered hand and pull himself off the ground, only to feel a wet squelch when he makes his first preparatory motion. Gloria proceeds to leap backwards in surprise, retracting her outstretched hand and staring at his face. Diegi, surprised, looks up at her in dismay. ¡°Uh¡­ what? Come on, you don¡¯t need to be scared, I already said I¡¯m not a monster!¡± And then he feels something thick drip from his chin onto the ground. The very muddy ground. ¡°Oh, just my fucking luck, eh?¡± Diegi quickly realizes what happened. Being next to a small stream, he¡¯d managed to choose the one spot that was covered by mud to prostrate in. Hell¡ª it was probably mud that he¡¯d made himself by dumping that bucket of water on Gloria¡¯s head. Now his bare chest and face are both totally covered in wet dirt. Shaking his head at the turn of events, he continues: ¡°You know, before we shake hands to seal the deal, maybe I should take another dip in the stream and wash myself off. Oh, and you might want to use that bucket of water yourself¡ª your curls are still muddy from the water I dumped on you.¡± He stops for a second and makes a face, as if the next words are hard to get out of his throat. But after the brief pause, he continues: ¡°Uh, so¡­ sorry about that.¡± Gloria, still conspicuously keeping her previously offered hand close to her chest, gently feels her own brown-blond hair and sighs. ¡°Apology accepted. And as for washing my hair¡­ Yes, that would be wise.¡±
## ¡°Splish, splash, splish¡­ ACHOO!! Man, this water is freezing! How does it manage to stay so cold when it¡¯s such a warm day?¡± Diegi, splashing around in the nearby stream like a child, talks quietly to himself as he waits for Gloria to be done washing her hair. Not because he plans to use the bucket after her, but because¡ª ah, there it is. Gloria, who had previously been standing in front of her grain cart and using her wooden bucket of river water to clean her hair, stands up and turns around. Then, she begins walking towards her cart (that¡¯s a small distance away) with bucket in hand and, more importantly¡ª with her back to Diegi. ¡°Okay, now¡¯s my chance!¡± Something had been bothering him since he¡¯d opened his Menu to check his Inventory and offer Gloria that bag of gold from the tutorial chest. But he¡¯s sure that what he¡¯s about to do would freak Gloria out if she saw, so he decides to do it in a semi-secluded area like inside the stream. Not because she can see the menu or anything, but because she can still see the items that come out of it. Working quickly, Diegi makes the air-box-tracing-and-then-zooming-out motion with the fingers on his right hand, opening the ¡°Main Menu¡± he¡¯d received from that annoyingly overpowered AI overlord¡ª Automod. As the panorama of floating blue panels appears, he swipes across air to get to the screen he really wants to access: Inventory. ¡°Okay¡­ so, what is this and why do I have so much of it!?¡± Even though he can see the screen perfectly clearly, Diegi leans forward out of sheer computer-gamer habit and submerges even more of his chest in the chilly stream water. Staring back at him, on the floating flat rectangular panel labeled INVENTORY: slots and slots filled with what appears to be duplicates of the same base item. The icon for the item is simply a dark blur, and Diegi has no recollection of ever picking it up or storing it in his Inventory. Heck, he still doesn¡¯t actually know how to store things in his Inventory, just how to take them out! ¡°If I hover my finger over it, what¡¯ll show up on the preview screen?¡± And hover he does. The mini description panel that pops up reads the following: [ Inventory: ] [ Name: ####### ### ] [ Type: UNKNOWN ] [ Subtype: ######## ] [ Level: ## ] Diegi rolls his eyes at the complete lack of information he gained from the so-called description panel. ¡°Wow, that¡¯s soooo helpful. Thanks Automod, your stupid system is falling apart at the seams¡­ oh yeah, you¡¯re still out of commission. Welp, whatever, if I want to find out what it is, I guess I have to¡ª¡± He taps the square slot of one of the black blurs with his finger, then waits for the thing to materialize in his hand. When it finally does, he looks down to find: ¡°A blob of black goo. Is this really what I think it is?¡± Leaning back somewhat, Diegi recalls the tutorial monster that he and Gloria¡ª well, pretty much only he¡ª had fought on the tutorial path. It had constantly been dripping with a black mucus-like fluid. After the tree had fallen on the monster, had Automod¡¯s tutorial system decided to grant him drops of the monster¡¯s secretions as his reward? ¡°That¡¯s definitely not in the original MYTH Infinite Fantasy game¡­ plus, if that was true, then it would at least have a name. And now that I think about it, the monster didn¡¯t even die from the tree falling on it, it just got back up and killed me! So, this has to be some sort of anomaly.¡± Diegi wracks his brain as hard as he can, trying to find some sort of explanation for why he would have a boatload of nameless duplicate bits of monster goo stored in his inventory, but comes up blank. It¡¯s a profound mystery, the kind that a spoiled brat like himself has no chance of solving without any additional clues. Sighing, he closes his Main Menu and sinks lower into the waters of the stream. He stays like that for a bit, until Gloria¡¯s voice eventually rings out: ¡°Are you done? I¡¯ve gathered some of my spare clothing. I do not know how well it will fit you, sir, but it¡¯s certainly more proper than your¡­ um¡­ current attire.¡± The voice startles Diegi, and he makes sure to plunge the hand holding the bit of monster slime under the water so Gloria can¡¯t see it. Glancing over at her, he sees that she¡¯s put her bucket away and is now holding some dusty-looking brown rags¡ª er, clothes¡ª instead. He can see her fairly well, but thankfully her vision of his nearly-naked form is slightly obstructed by the tall grass, mostly because of how low Diegi is currently sitting in the stream¡¯s water. Those clothes look pretty raggedy¡­ but hey, I¡¯ll take it! Beggars and choosers, yada yada yada. After taking a moment to think, Diegi yells back: ¡°Yeah, I am! Hold on a sec!¡± Finally, Diegi¡¯s seriously on route to reach the First Human City of Paxdom, where all his tutorial woes will end. Thinking of this, Diegi gleefully begins to drag himself out of the stream¡¯s current, only to realize¡­ ¡°Shit. Where am I gonna keep this thing?¡± Looking at the black bit of monster slime, Diegi remembers that he still has no idea how to store things in his Inventory instead of just taking things out. He looks around him, trying to find some sort of leaf conveniently shaped like a wallet or a bag. He doesn¡¯t find one, of course. Finally, his gaze comes to rest on his own body, or more accurately on the only piece of clothing he¡¯s currently wearing: MYTH¡¯s default male avatar outfit, a pair of skinny black underwear. Diegi looks at the slime in his hand. Then at his underwear. Then at the slime. Then at his underwear. And then¡ª ¡°When life gives you lemons¡­ ah, damn it. This upcoming walk is gonna be reaaally uncomfortable.¡± Chapter 9: Even Fantasy Worlds Have Traffic Jams!? Chapter 9: Even Fantasy Worlds Have Traffic Jams!? Having returned to the tutorial path, walking side by side, are Diegi and Gloria. Gloria is pulling her grain cart behind her, looking the same as always, if not a bit more haggard. Diegi, however, has undergone a miraculous transformation, looking much more civilized than usual as he struts along the road. Why, you ask? Probably because he¡¯s finally put some damn clothes on over his underwear! More specifically, some of Gloria¡¯s old spares. Supposedly satisfied with his appearance, he looks down and rates his new garments. They¡¯re beautiful, they really are. The way the brown cloth blends with the darker brown cloth blends with the dirt-brown cloth¡­ no, that¡¯s actually dirt. And judging by how the many tiny little tears and frays build on to the overall look¡­ oh, who am I kidding!? They¡¯re rags, total rags! I feel bad complaining about something I got for free, but seriously: the only plus for me here is that Gloria seems to be predisposed to wearing pants rather than skirts¡­ Diegi shudders at the mere thought of a world where the inverse was true. And at that moment, as if in response to her name being mentioned in Diegi¡¯s mind, Gloria decides to pipe up after a long stretch of mutual silence. ¡°We¡¯re nearing the city. Are you doing alright?¡± Diegi jolts a little before responding, not expecting to be shaken from his pondering. Putting a hand on his chin, he tries to come up with an inconspicuous answer. ¡°Uh- y- yeah, I¡¯m fine. Why would you ask?¡± ¡°Because, sir, if I remember correctly, your maximum Stamina level is currently at ten. It¡¯s not unfeasible that you could exhaust all those points from a simple walk, considering that your Strength and Agility attributes are also quite low¡­¡± ¡°Urk¡ª I¡¯d forgotten you saw that before! Uh¡­ I mean¡­ well, don¡¯t worry about it, I¡¯m totally fine.¡± In reality, he¡¯s starting to get fairly tired, but he¡¯s not about to just come out and tell her that. Aw, man, I really wish she hadn¡¯t seen my Stats and Attributes earlier. Didn¡¯t she basically say that someone with an avatar status as poor as mine should probably be bedridden somewhere? I probably look super suspicious to her. Gloria¡¯s follow up question confirms Diegi¡¯s unstated musings: ¡°Actually, somewhat relatedly, there¡¯s a question that I feel compelled to ask again. Please be honest¡ª How are you still alive after being killed by that odd monster? You previously claimed that it was because of an Illusion Skill. But¡­ I¡¯m sure I didn¡¯t see you possessing any Skill of the sort while casting Appraisal on you before¡­¡± This again? Damn it, how many issues are gonna come out of one NPC having seen my avatar status? Gotta come up with a good cover-up lie¡­ ooh, I got one! ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s just that Illusion is at level 90. That Skill¡¯s level is just too high for your Appraisal spell to detect.¡± ¡°Really, sir? Someone with such abysmal Attribute levels has a level 90 skill?¡± ¡°Yup. All those points had to go somewhere, right?¡± ¡°Hmm¡­ I think¡ª¡± ¡°It¡¯s at level 90!¡± ¡°But¡ª¡± ¡°Level!! 90!!¡± I¡¯m sorry for lying, I really am¡ª okay yeah I¡¯m totally not sorry for lying haha. But it is true that I really don¡¯t think you would take it well if I told you that I¡¯d actually died and been revived. Excusing it as a skill is just so much easier. Diegi scratches behind his ear and sighs. Really, can¡¯t a guy just casually die and be brought back to life by an AI overlord in peace nowadays? For crying out loud! Good thing he¡¯s always been good at lying on the spot¡ª it¡¯s a skill you pick up fast as an infamous internet troll. Just to be sure that his secret stays safe, however, Diegi decides that a subject change is in order. ¡°Hey, you asked about me, so do you mind telling me about some of your levels? Like¡­ your Agility, for instance.¡± I wonder if the Attribute levels mean exactly the same thing as how they were when I was just a gamer playing MYTH. Considering what I saw from Gloria beforehand and what I remember from all the MYTH human tutorial runs, she¡¯s probably close to Agility level 20. That¡¯s around, what, a decent track and field runner¡¯s speed without stacking any movement Skills? After hearing Diegi¡¯s question, Gloria visibly recoils and stares at him with a wide-eyed expression, as if Diegi had asked her about her Social Security number or Credit Card information instead of her Attributes. Not that she would know what those were. Diegi, for his part, is taken totally off guard by her exaggerated reaction. ¡°What!? Come on, I can¡¯t have said something that bad! No¡ª I mean, I didn¡¯t say anything bad at all! So don¡¯t act like I did, pleasethankyou!¡± I¡¯m right, aren¡¯t I? No, yeah, that was a totally innocuous sentence. Nobody I know would find it weird¡­ ah, that¡¯s it. Maybe there¡¯s some culture or something unique to this game-world around stats and attributes I¡¯m not aware of. If that¡¯s the case, I¡¯ll have to back off¡ª But then an idea strikes Diegi, and he cuts off his unusually self-reflective line of thought with a narrowing of his eyes and the reemerging of his sleazy grin. If he knows Gloria as well as he thinks he does, then he¡¯ll be able to make an argument she can¡¯t refute. Because of course he¡¯d know someone he met only a couple hours ago in and out. Not overconfident at all, right? ¡°Hey, hold on¡ª you can¡¯t go holding back info now. Aren¡¯t you the one who cast Appraisal on me back then without my approval? So, if we wanna be fair, you¡¯ve gotta share in turn.¡± Gloria lowers her eyebrows and averts her eyes slightly when Diegi brings up that particular incident, apparently feeling guilty, but doesn¡¯t back down. ¡°Well, sir¡­ you were in a critical condition, and it¡¯s only natural that I would want to help in such a dire case¡­¡± Oh. So it¡¯s not taboo to check someone else¡¯s status when the other person is seriously hurt? I guess that makes sense, it¡¯s like how doctors can do emergency invasive life-saving surgery in real life. But, I still really wanna know¡­ ¡°Okay, fine¡ª It¡¯s 43.¡± Gloria, after a brief pause, briefly nods to herself as if bracing for something and spits out a short sentence. Diegi, caught by surprise, angles his head to look at her. ¡°Oh? I thought you weren¡¯t going to tell me?¡± And, more importantly¡­ She has an Agility level of 43 compared to my current 2¡­ so are basic NPCs in this world all faster and more nimble than literal Olympic superstars!? God, if literally anyone wants to fight or hurt me in this world I¡¯m so screwed. Damn that Automod¡ª ¡°Your reasoning has some merit, so it¡¯s only fair that I tell you. Just¡­ I implore you, please do not share that information around. I wouldn¡¯t like it if I was roped into any dangerous activities as a result.¡±You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author. Oh, so level 43 must be a pretty high Agility in this game-world. Much better than an average civilian¡¯s, I¡¯m guessing. Oh, thank goodness. So maybe I¡¯m not that pathetically weak, and Gloria¡¯s just super strong. But if that¡¯s the case, why¡¯s she so scared of monsters? Diegi ruffles his hair with a flat palm, reflecting on what he¡¯s just learned about the taboos surrounding sharing status information in this game-world. Not that he planned to stop asking people about their statuses, but still¡ª It was fascinating to see that the NPCs he¡¯d only observed before through a computer screen took on so many more lifelike traits when he interacted with them in person. In some ways, they seemed aware they were living in a game¡ª with how they referenced things like Stats, Attributes, and Levels¡ª but on the other hand, they weren¡¯t familiar with terms like Inventory or Main Menu. Just how game-like is this game-world, really? Well, only one way for me to find out¡­ by continuing to play.
# ¡°Huh? What¡¯s that in the distance¡ª Oh, finally! Better get ready for inspection!¡± After another long stretch of silent walking, Diegi snaps out of a daze and notices that the path is getting wider and yet somehow more crowded. Looking briefly up at the sky, he also notes that it¡¯s now more like the afternoon than midday. As Diegi cranes his neck from side to side, updating his understanding of his surroundings, he notices that several other paths like the one he¡¯s been walking on have been steadily merging with his path, both behind him and in front of him. This path-consolidation must have been happening for at least the past hour, but he¡¯d simply been too distracted to notice. Regardless; Diegi and Gloria are now only a couple hundred meters away from the huge fortified gates and imposing walls of Paxdom. Diegi can also clearly see the main branch of the rushing Jade River that Paxdom¡¯s known for. Its waters are clear as glass, but also somehow tinted emerald green, like something out of a movie. It¡¯s really quite the sight. In order to prepare for the upcoming security check, Diegi scans his borrowed outfit for dust. He notices quite a lot of it, so of course he decides to promptly do nothing. Trying to brush all the lint off of his borrowed outfit would be like trying to rub all the mud off a pig: it¡¯s just not gonna happen. So, he turns his head to peer at Gloria instead. She didn¡¯t seem to be on edge. It makes sense; why would she ever be stopped by the guards? She was a regular denizen of the human region, probably just here to sell her grains and baked goods. ¡°I wonder, why do they even bother doing inspections in the first place? So inefficient and it¡¯s going so slowly! It would be pretty easy to tell if any of us were monsters, right?¡± Upon hearing Diegi¡¯s sudden question, Gloria subtly sighs and shakes her head. ¡°It never hurts to try and ensure people¡¯s safety, even if you can¡¯t catch everyone. Besides, human criminals are as much a threat as monsters.¡± ¡°Well, still. Having a huge crowd like this is a liability¡ª what would the guards do if a horde of monsters showed up at these gates? It would cause a total panic and someone could die if the crowd stampeded!¡± And by ¡®someone¡¯, I mean me! The one who loses most of his health from being scratched by a singular damn tree! ¡°Oh, you don¡¯t know¡­? Monsters generally don¡¯t approach large settlements. Sir, are you really an adventurer if you don¡¯t even know something like that? Ah¡ª no offense!¡± I¡­ Oh, right, mobs only spawn outside of cities even in the original MYTH Infinite Fantasy game. The only time cities would be attacked would be for some server event. Well, nothing to worry about then! As the crowd continues to thicken, both Diegi and Gloria are jostled from all sides. It¡¯s almost reminiscent of a packed airport or a jammed intersection. Because of course, even in an alternate world, Diegi can¡¯t escape rush hour traffic. Looking around, Diegi sees that the crowd is mostly human¡ª they are entering a human city, after all¡ª but he can notice a few pointed ears and faintly glowing eyes. I guess a couple of elves are caught in this crush too. Man, the sheer amount of people here is just insane! Do this many enter Paxdom every single day? In MYTH, it seemed like the only people going in and out of cities were players, and we higher-level ones would just vault over the walls or use secret passageways instead of bothering with the main entrance. Y¡¯know, like normal people! Ugh, I guess I found yet another thing that¡¯s different about this game-world¡­ The guards near the gates are calling for order and trying to sort the unruly crowd into neat lines, but aren¡¯t having the best luck. Large groups of people, impatient to enter the city, are streaming around the guards¡¯ security checkpoint stands and making their way through the gates without being stopped. Some of Paxdom¡¯s guards, clad in armor and carrying weaponry, manage to stop a few of the rule flouters¡ª but are ultimately powerless against the force of the human tide. With how many of the morally dubious folk are managing to scrape by and make their way inside, it¡¯s impossible that Diegi¡ª the unproclaimed king of the morally dubious¡ª would fail to notice. So, while fighting to escape being squeezed and pushed to death by the crowd, he decides to make what he thinks is a funny remark to Gloria. ¡°Hey, look at that. If we just follow those line cutters¡¯ example, maybe I won¡¯t have to be checked by the guards after all. Foolproof plan, am I right?¡± Gloria, trying to protect her cart from becoming unbalanced by the many people brushing against it, responds quite dryly: ¡°You¡¯re free to try by yourself, sir. But please, if you do so, remember our arrangement. Once we¡¯re inside the city, we will go our separate ways, correct?¡± Ouch, I was only joking. I feel like the more time we spend together, the more she wants to get rid of me. I wonder why¡­? It takes a while, but eventually Diegi and Gloria are practically crowd-surfed to the front of the line. Given Gloria¡¯s lawful nature and Diegi¡¯s unwillingness to risk being caught by the guards alone, both of them stop at one of the security checkpoints. Upon their arrival, a guard wearing a strange mix of robes and armor asks them to state their name and purpose. Gloria gestures to her cart as she speaks: ¡°Gloria Flaxen. Farmer, here to sell my produce.¡± ¡°Diegi Martinez. I¡¯m a hired hand of hers.¡± It¡¯s not the real in-game name I chose during avatar creation, but it¡¯ll be fine. The guards don¡¯t have a way to verify that, and it would be embarrassing to be addressed with a silly gamertag like ¡®Diegi Trolegi¡¯ anyways. Eugh. First, the guard opens some sort of directory and pages through it until he comes to a certain entry. He looks up at Gloria and her cart as if to confirm her appearance, then nods. ¡°Returning visitor, I see. Great, that makes the rest of this real simple. I¡¯ll skip directly to marking your arrival.¡± The guard scribbles down Gloria and Diegi¡¯s reasons for visiting in a large logbook and then pauses for a second, staring at a particular spot in the book. He then looks up at them and sighs, picking up a staff from behind his checkpoint stand. ¡°Sorry, you two. You¡¯ve been selected for deeper inspection, happens randomly to around one in one hundred of those who enter. Please remain still and I¡¯ll cast Status Project on you two to make sure there¡¯s no funny business going on. Nothing to worry about, just verifying your names, classes, jobs, and skills.¡± Wait, what!? As Diegi looks on in horror, the guard holds out his staff and a field of glimmering orange light surrounds Gloria. It¡¯s much more complex than the visual effect for Appraisal¡ª dancing lines of light form prisms in the air as they shift around her, sometimes seeming to arrange themselves into letters from some ancient script before dispersing again. Gloria simply closes her eyes and waits for the spell to take its course, apparently entirely at ease. After a few seconds, the guard nods and says ¡°Right, nothing to worry about here. Sorry, it¡¯s just procedure, you know? Give me a little while to mark everything down.¡± Gloria smiles and responds ¡°Yes, I understand.¡± You understand, huh? Well, good for you. But what about me!? Gloria, do something!! Not only was the guard going to see that Diegi had lied about his name, but they were going to be able to see his absurdly low stats and attributes. From what Gloria said, people with stat and attribute levels as low as him weren¡¯t supposed to exist. The guard hadn¡¯t said that he would check stats and attributes, but it¡¯s still a worrying prospect. Just to make double-sure of his current avatar status, Diegi discreetly traces the ¡®cross-box¡¯ menu motion in the air with his hands at his sides and glances downwards. It seems like the game windows don¡¯t interfere with physical objects, because the resultant menu panels sort of phase through the people around him. Still, Diegi can see all the information on it clearly. Even better¡ª it looks like no one else in the crowd could even see his main menu. He already had an inkling of that because of the whole tutorial-monster incident with Gloria, but it was nice to confirm. Wait, bad Diegi. Now is NOT the time to be geeking out about how my menu system works. Come on me, let¡¯s do this before the guard finishes whatever he¡¯s writing! After scrolling a few times with slight finger motions, he arrives at the Statistics and Attribute windows, and the semi-transparent blue screens that appear show him what he already knows¡­ [ -Attributes- Strength: 1 Agility: 2 Toughness: 0 Dexterity: 0 Wisdom: 0 Charisma: 0 -Stats- Max Health: 10 Max Mana: 10 Max Stamina: 10 ] ¡­that when it comes to blending in with the crowd, he¡¯s pretty much screwed. What would happen if the guard sees this? He¡¯ll totally get suspicious and check my name only to see that I lied! Would he deny me entry? Or worse, let me enter¡ª but trap me in an infirmary for the rest of my life? Contorting his face in a variety of ways, Diegi tries to send some nonverbal signal to the still-oblivious Gloria. He even performs some sort of robot-chicken dance as discreetly as he can in a last-ditch desperate bid for her attention. But it seems that she¡¯s either forgotten all about Diegi¡¯s status predicament already, because she simply gazes vaguely forwards with a relieved expression on her face. Man, she must have been really excited to get to Paxdom. Good for her¡­ Wait, no¡ª worry about myself. What do I do, what do I do?? Giving up on contacting her, Diegi begins to look around himself wildly, but all he sees is the constantly shifting crowd of Paxdom visitors. There has to be some way for him to get out of this inspection, but¡ª ¡°Okay, Diegi, was it? Your turn.¡± In the end, there¡¯s nothing Diegi can do. Before he can even react, a field of shimmering orange light surrounds him and he has no choice but to let the inspection happen. Fiddling with the sleeves of his rough brown shirt, he waits for the inevitable damning verdict to come. This sucks. What if these guys arrest me and put me in some kind of jail? I¡¯ll never complete the two hundred quests then. Hell, if I can¡¯t get to the Guild Hall, I won¡¯t even be able to complete the tutorial! Please, Automod, anyone, help me out here, send some kind of distraction¡ª wait, what¡¯s that noise? It keeps getting louder. *!!!!!!!!!!!* *ROARRRRR* ¡°Woah, what the hell!?¡± Just as he completes his thought, the crowd erupts around him and a sudden deafening cacophony reaches Diegi¡¯s ears. As a result, he opens the eyes that he¡¯d been squeezing shut in anticipation and slowly blinks. Why was everyone panicking, and why was the panic spreading so quickly? The guard that was supposed to be checking him had cancelled the Status Project spell and is now looking around in bewilderment, attempting to yell over all the noise in order to communicate with the other guards. Had Diegi¡¯s impromptu prayer worked? But even if it did, it was more like a monkey¡¯s paw than straight divine providence¡ª if he¡¯d thought being pushed around by the crowd was annoying before, now it was positively dangerous. He¡¯s in real danger of being crushed! The lines of waiting people that the guards had worked so hard to organize have quickly turned into a single roiling mass. What on earth could be going on? There¡¯s some sort of commotion a few meters away in the ground. People jerking to the sides rapidly and clearing a channel, as if roughly forced apart. Then, he appears: someone in guard¡¯s armor breaks through the crowd, using his strength to force a path open for himself, long black hair disheveled, eyes wide in panic¡ª and he begins to yell as he approaches the check-in stands: ¡°MONSTER! MONSTER ATTACK!!¡± Even through the chaotic hodgepodge of voices, the particularly shrill shriek clearly reaches Diegi¡¯s ears. Next to him, Gloria¡¯s face pales. Her breathing, previously relaxed, begins to accelerate. She even lets go of her cart, the one she¡¯d just been expending so much effort for in order to protect it from the crowd. I can¡¯t believe this. Monsters attacking the city¡ª this isn¡¯t an event in MYTH¡¯s tutorial! And didn¡¯t Gloria say it¡¯s unnatural for this game-world as well? Has something gone wrong in the system? That means¡­ Does that mean¡­ if I still haven¡¯t completed the tutorial, but these attacking mobs aren¡¯t part of the tutorial¡­ then if I die to these mobs, will I still be able to come back to life!? This is bad. With an avatar as weak as this, I don¡¯t have a snowball¡¯s chance of surviving a freakin¡¯ monster attack! Desperately wanting to know the answer to his questions, Diegi cries out: ¡°Automod, come back! I¡¯m sorry I called you all those names before! Start working again and help me!!¡± But his Diegi¡¯s desperate shout is lost in the racket of the crowd, and no robotic voice appears in his head. No in-game tutorial notifications pop up to give him healthy advice on how to deal with the new event. He has no previous experience with this particular attack, no helpful game knowledge to draw from. In other words: For the first time since he¡¯s gotten to this world, Diegi¡¯s totally on his own.