《Alice's bizarre adventure》 Prologue Alice closed her bathroom door. She wrapped herself in a blanket and sank to the ground. Her back felt solid against a vinyl cabinet, and seconds searching in the dark found her tablet. She opened it. What am I doing? she thought. I already failed one class! Do I want to fail another? I mean at this point though I couldn¡¯t catch up even if I tried. She entered her password and downloaded Pinterest. Her actions were rote. Alice opened the app, then a folder: Wisdom, philosophy, and esoteric nonsense. Her breathing slowed. The screen was a field of text and grays. She pressed on the first post. The man of Tao remains unknown. Perfect virtue produces nothing. ¡®no self¡¯ is ¡®true self¡¯. And the greatest man is nobody. - Chang Tzu. She swiped ¡°People are still good, mostly¡± she saidThis story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings. ¡°Not from what I¡¯m hearing¡± he said. ¡°Love is quieter than gunshots. But there is more of it.¡± she swiped Sometimes happiness means doing strange things with weird people. she swiped with a smile ¡°Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat¡± ¨C Sun Tzu. She swiped An intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, a wise man hardly anything. ¨C Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. She swiped Once in a while it really hits people that they don¡¯t have to experience the world in the way they have been told to. She moved the post to the section called ¡®metal¡¯ and swiped. ¡°I thought same color meant same taste. Tangerines, oranges, and the sun. Citrus. When I saw my great-grandmother peel a tangerine with her bare hands while men used knives for oranges, she became God. I imagined what she could do with the sun.¡± ¨C JP Infante, Yasica, Puerto Plata. She swiped. Latibule: (noun) a hiding place; a place of safety and comfort. The roof collapsed. Court Summons Alice woke in a soft unfamiliar bed, her head spun. She massaged her forehead, and the feeling slowly abated. She sat up on her mat and plucked at the thin loose-fitting robe she wore in confusion. What the heck? The room was unfamiliar and chilly, lit by moonlight. She felt like an intruder on some wuxia film-set. The frame was dark wood, the walls were off-white brick, and a paper door took up an entire wall. Each of the three other walls had two glass windows on which there were geometric patterns that resembled a lattice if some of the squares had been stretched, and the maker had used a significant degree of artistic license. Okay¡­ this is odd. She got up and walked over to one of the windows. The floor, a great stone slab, was warm underfoot. Trembling she looked out the window. Mountain peaks rose around her, tall and covered in thick forest, their backsides cast in shadow. Below a river meandered through a great valley carved into the rock and beyond that was the sea. The dark water unchanging yet for a patch of white and above that floated a full moon. Her breath caught in her throat. It was bigger than she remembered and around it was a sea of stars. She yelped as a door slid open revealing a woman in fine robes. She wore her black hair up in a bun and carried a tray of food in her hands. She seemed surprised to find Alice looking out the window but then she only smiled. She asked Alice a question, setting the tray down and sitting beside it before gesturing for Alice to join her. Alice stood there shivering, in too much shock to move. Had the woman spoken Mandarin or was that something else? Either way it doesn¡¯t matter. What the hell is going on? Where am I and how did I get here! The woman¡¯s look of expectation turned to confusion or maybe concern as Alice stood there frozen, lost in her own head. She asked Alice another question, a slight wrinkle on her brow. ¡°Umm sorry but do you speak English or Korean?¡± asked Alice, wincing slightly in embarrassment. She was about to repeat her question in Korean when the woman¡¯s brow smoothed over. Nodding she stood, held up a finger, and left. She slid the door closed behind her leaving Alice dumbfounded. Shivering Alice walked back to the mat and threw a blanket over herself. There were two cups of steaming tea, some rice cakes, a couple lidded metal bowls, and a set of chopsticks. Alice held a ceramic teacup in her hands and felt warmth coming back to her fingers. She let out a long breath and took a sip. The tea was a strange sort of spicy, almost fizzy, that she recognized as ginger, and while pleasant it did little to make her feel better. Okay, I got home from class, redownloaded Pinterest, and woke up here. Am I dreaming? Probably. This doesn¡¯t really feel like a dream though. This time she heard loud footsteps approaching and wasn¡¯t surprised when the door slid open. A young woman stormed in, her footsteps painfully noticeable, and behind her walked the woman who had brought the tea and snacks. The loud woman, a girl really, had brown skin instead of beige and wore the same thin robe as Alice. She plopped herself down in front of Alice and stuffed an entire rice cake into her mouth. The woman closed the door behind them and sat next to the girl. ¡°So, tell me why I¡¯m here instead of getting to sleep.¡± Asked the girl as she chewed. The woman winced as the girl sprayed crumbs everywhere and Alice tried to recover from her shock. ¡°Erm I was hoping you might be able to answer that for me. I¡¯m afraid that I don¡¯t remember how I got here, nor where here even is, but first things first; I believe introductions are in order. I am Alice Jo.¡± ¡°Well Jo, I am Chahine Hope, sword of Lai, and this is He Chen, servant of Lai, you find yourself with the honor of being on Lai estate and the recipient of our generous hospitality. He Chen tells me that Patriarch Lai Hyun-Sik found you floating belly up in the heavenly lake. He was going to leave you for the scavengers but imagine his surprise when you were breathing. So, what were you doing up there?¡± Family names first? Lake? ¡°I¡¯m afraid that I misspoke, my name is Jo Alice, and I have no idea what I was doing in this lake of yours. The last thing I remember was getting home from class and then I woke up here and He Chen brought me some tea. Listen, if you give my phone back I can probably clear everything up.¡± Chahine Hope seemed to think for a moment before turning He Chen, who was drinking her own cup of tea and looking out the windows. Hope asked her a question Alice couldn¡¯t understand and the two talked, giving Alice some time to sip her tea, eat one of the rice cakes, and think for a moment. ¡°He Chen tells me that you had nothing when they found you. You were just a wrinkly prune they fished out of the lake. So, who are you?¡± Hope asked Alice took a moment to respond ¡°Before I answer your question, would you please indulge me one of my own? What is the state of the world?¡± Hope narrowed her eyes and Alice felt a strange sensation tugging at the back of her mind. ¡°The heavens watch over the middle kingdom and the sects disregard mortal woes in lieu of ascension and face as they always have.¡± sneered Hope ¡°Now the feud between the kingdoms of Baekje and Jin threatens to rear its ugly head while the Nine States war amongst themselves in the west. So, tell me, who are you?¡± Ascension? ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m a student and a teacher. I¡¯m actually studying chemistry and math for-¡± ¡°So, an alchemist eh? I can¡¯t even imagine who¡¯d want to teach someone with as little talent as you, but I imagine there¡¯s a reason the Patriarch didn¡¯t kill you. Fine then, I¡¯m sure he will decide with what to do with you tomorrow.¡± Hope stood up and stalked off, addressing He Chen with some curt sounding words. He Chen gave Alice an apologetic smile before she slid the door the shut. The soft clack of the door¡¯s wooden frame closing seemed too loud. Okay, uhh what? I can probably rule out time travel from what Hope said about the sects and heaven but¡­ I mean what¡¯s more likely a weird dream or getting isekaied. Alice curled her fingers and squeezed. Her nails dug sharply into her palm and after a couple seconds she released the pressure. She examined the stinging red crescents. Probably not a dream then. Maybe something happened to me, and this is all a chemical hallucination my brain is coming up with? That sounds good but it doesn¡¯t really feel right. Why does this all seem so¡­ real? How did this even happen? But it must be a dream, right?This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon. Alice was pulled from her thoughts by her growling stomach, and she was pretty sure she¡¯d never heard it make that noise before. She grabbed another rice cake and opened one of the metal bowls, it was hot to the touch, revealing a mound of purple rice. In the other bowls she found some spicy-looking pickled vegetables, anchovies, and a brothy soup of tofu and seaweed. It was all delicious. Pondering her fate, wrapped in a blanket, Alice watched the moon on the sea. She thought of her family and friends¡­ She thought of her twin¡­ The one for whom she would change the everything. Her heart ached What is even the point now? But there are still people here. None of the ones I love though. Maybe that is the point of this odd dream? A reminder of why I do the things that I do. A reminder to keep walking this path that I have chosen. Maybe there isn¡¯t a point. But I can still learn, or perhaps remember, a thing or two. Alice walked back to her bed and closed her eyes. Her steps were easy. She soon drifted off to sleep. Hope was halfway down the hallway when she heard the soft clack of the wooden door sliding closed followed by, He Chen¡¯s measured footsteps on the stone floor. Why did the woman always have to be so damn graceful. ¡°He Chen is such an elegant dancer.¡± ¡°He Chen is such a good cook!¡± ¡°He Chen never tracked in that sort of filth from the training yard and tried to burn the evidence.¡± ¡°You should try to be more like He Chen.¡± ¡°You should try to more like He Chen¡± Hope mumble snarled as she made it back to her room. They can all stuff it. And now I even had to deal with the moron who almost drowned in the heavenly lake; The- the indignity! Her odd story aside, the alchemist isn¡¯t even worth my time. It was easier than breathing to probe the woman¡¯s nonexistent cultivation base. But still¡­ how did she end up in the lake? Alice woke up and yawned, stretching luxuriously, the strange dream fresh on her mind. She rolled over and felt the warmth of the sun on her face. Then she opened her eyes and felt something die inside of her. It was all as she remembered it: the tray, empty bowls, the East Asian architecture. She felt herself trembling. She looked at her shaking hands. She still had all the tiny scars she¡¯d gotten from roughhousing with her cousins were still there. She remembered how feral Alex had been for those first couple of years. How desperately he¡¯d clawed her when she¡¯d dragged him away from museum exhibits so he wouldn¡¯t get separated from their group. Her eyes prickled. Maybe there is no going back. Wherever I am. Are they gone forever? She sat up and felt something hot burning in her chest, and she clenched her hands into fists. She wanted to hit something, she wanted to snap the chopsticks, shatter the cups, and scream at the unfairness of it all. The door slid open, and she quickly turned away, dabbing at her eyes with a sleeve. Her fury slowly abated. ¡°Good morning traveler. Your presence has been requested by the council of elders. You are to stand trial for your crimes against the Lai clan.¡± Said someone in a deep voice that was croaky but unwavering. Alice turned and looked at the voice¡¯s owner. He was an old man in the same fine robes He Chen had worn. He carried a set of even plainer robes folded over one arm. ¡°After you get dressed, I will escort you to their chambers.¡± The old man gently laid the clothes on the stone floor and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. Crimes against the Lai Clan?! Ah shit. Alice dragged herself out of bed. The warm stone was comforting underfoot, and she got dressed quickly. The dress consisted of a light inner robe, a plain outer robe, and slippers. What does he mean by crimes against the Lai Clan? I mean I don¡¯t even know what crimes I committed. Did I do something else I don¡¯t know about? The old man was waiting outside of the room for her and dipped his head ever so slightly to her when she opened the door. She frowned quizzically before nodding back to him. He raised one of his white bushy eyebrows at her. ¡°Follow me.¡± He said and set off at a brisk pace. The estate was enormous, and it soon dawned on Alice that she¡¯d been on the very edge of it. She followed the old man through a long hall to a stone path. The buildings had pagoda-style roof designs, and she saw more of them as she walked the path. She noticed the courtyards grew larger and the buildings more ornate. This place is huge. I¡¯ve never seen anything quite like it. Soon she realized that she was being led to the peak of the mountain and soon enough was standing in front of a towering pagoda. Two golden lion statues flanked studded green doors that towered over her. The old man knocked softly. The doors swung inward, revealing a small antechamber. The old man stood aside, bidding her to enter. Alice took a moment to steady her breathing and entered the pagoda. The doors closed silently behind her. Alice stood there for a moment. Her heart was a drum in her chest, and her hands were clammy. Something about the pagoda was overpowering and as much as she tried to master herself her efforts had no effect. She felt as if something she could not see, hear, or touch had noticed her, and its very presence weighed upon her. What the hell is this? It¡¯s alright, I didn¡¯t do anything, I just need to explain my situation, right. Her steps were shaky, and she stopped in the center of the chamber. Five people in elaborate robes sat on a dais in front of her, and next to the man in the middle stood Hope. Two men, three women, and a girl stared down at her impassively. The man in the center, the one with the most ornate but least elaborate robe spoke first. He spoke with bold patience, each word unmistakably clear. ¡°Lai Hyun-Sik, Patriarch of the Lai Clan, and the four elders of Lai greet Jo Alice.¡± Said Hope. There was a beat of silence as everyone stared at her. She waited patiently for Hope to continue, unsure of how she should act. What are they waiting for? The silence was broken by a young man in vibrant reds. ¡°Elder Yongzheng asks why you don¡¯t bow before your betters. Your rudeness is telling.¡± Alice looked stricken and she immediately bowed. Her hamstrings ached and she only remembered to straighten her back a couple seconds into the bow. Though they remained silent she felt their gazes boring into her. I¡¯m such a moron, can I just crawl into a dark hole and never come out again. ¡°This one apologizes, she did not know what was expected of her¡± Hope translated. Two of five giving her dirty looks: Elder Yongzheng and a tall woman sitting next to him. Hope and the others remained impassive. Elder Yongzheng spoke again. ¡°You are accused of trespass and befouling the Heavenly Lake. What do you have to say for yourself?¡± Hope asked ¡°I have nothing to say for myself. Any insult I may have caused was purely incidental. I don¡¯t know how I ended up in the lake and offer my sincerest apologies.¡± Elder Yongzheng looked increasingly angry when Hope relayed the message. An old woman spoke up. ¡°Elder Liu asks if you deny responsibility for your actions.¡± ¡°I¡­ I do.¡± Alice said, her voice was shaky. The tall woman next to Elder Yongzheng spoke. ¡°Elder Chuanli asks- she asks how a worm such as you passed undetected through the barrier formations¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t. I- I don¡¯t even know what you¡¯re talking about.¡± ¡°If you have nothing else to say the Elders will make their-.¡± ¡°Wait.¡± Alice said, interrupting Hope and earning glares from Lai Yongzheng and Yao Chuanli. ¡°You may speak.¡± Said Hope, beginning to sweat. This is really bad. ¡°I- I extend my deepest apologies to the Lai Clan. It is clear to me now, the weight of my actions.¡± Said Alice, as she shifted to a kowtow ¡°This one can only thank your magnanimous generosity in saving me from the grasp of the elements and giving me a place to rest. This one acknowledges her great debt to the Clan of Lai and requests that she might be given the chance to repay her debt with service.¡± When Hope conveyed her message to the Elders and there was an uproar. Though the Elders never raised their voices Alice felt like a tennis ball, being batted around by the argument. Elder Yongzheng spoke fiercely, seemingly backed up by Elder Chuanli and an old man on the other side of dais while Elder Liu argued with them. After 4 exchanges the Patriarch spoke and the energy in the room began to diminish. ¡°You will be granted the privilege of becoming a servant of Lai. You will remain as such until your knowledge of alchemy and talents can be ascertained. If you are found lacking, you will be dismissed. You may leave.¡± Alice stumbled from the chamber on weak legs and collapsed in the antechamber.