Chapter 20: Worse than mordoor
The path ahead twisted into something unnatural. The dirt beneath their boots was barren, stripped of life. The trees stood twisted and gnarled, their bark blackened as if burned from within, branches clawing at the sky like skeletal fingers. No birds sang, no insects buzzed¡ªjust an eerie, oppressive silence.
The sun, if it still existed in this forsaken place, made no attempt to shine. There was no way to mark time, no telling if they had been walking for hours or mere minutes. The weight of exhaustion pressed on their shoulders, their thoughts drifting into dark corners, lost in the echoes of the battle behind them.
John¡¯s legs moved on autopilot, his mind somewhere else entirely. The werewolves had taken too much from him¡ªtoo much from all of them. He barely registered the crunch of dead leaves beneath his feet, the rasp of his own breath in the still air.
At some unknown point, they stopped. There was no real decision, no agreement spoken aloud. Their bodies simply refused to go any farther.
Kaia lowered herself onto a fallen log, her hands idly tracing the hilt of her staff. She watched John for a long moment before finally speaking. ¡°What happened back there?¡±
John didn¡¯t answer. Not at first.
Kaia didn¡¯t press him, didn¡¯t fill the silence with unnecessary words. She simply waited, patient as ever.
Eventually, John exhaled, rubbing a hand down his face. ¡°I thought of my family.¡± His voice was quiet, rough. ¡°Of never seeing them again. Of my wife¡¯s smile. My daughter¡¯s laugh. Talking about nerdy shit with my son.¡± His jaw tensed. ¡°Her face¡ªmy wife¡¯s face¡ªfilled my vision. My body moved on its own. I had no thoughts. Only action.¡±
Kaia¡¯s eyes softened. ¡°Oh, John¡¡±
Before the weight of the moment could settle too deeply, Thorin clapped John hard on the back, nearly knocking him forward. ¡°Bah, you¡¯ll see them again. Just think of this as the first movie. You¡¯ll get a sequel.¡±
John, Thorin and Kaia all laughed. A long laugh releasing some of the dread they''ve been carrying. Shaking her head Kaia smiled at Thorin
The laughter was what they needed. But when it ended they got up.
They had a battle ahead.
And no matter how dark the road became, they would keep walking.
***
The descent from the hill was slow and tense. The air thickened with an oppressive weight as if the land itself resented their presence. No birds sang. No insects buzzed. The world felt dead, suffocated beneath an unseen force.
The ground beneath their boots was wrong¡ªa brittle, grayish soil that cracked like old parchment but stuck to their soles like tar. The trees, if they could even be called that, twisted skyward in grotesque spirals, their bark blackened and split open as if screaming in agony. Dark sap oozed from the cracks, the stench like rotting meat.
No grass grew here. No life at all. Just an endless landscape of decay.
John tightened his grip on his daggers. The last battle had drained him, his limbs still heavy with exhaustion, but there was no time for weakness.
They walked in silence, lost in their own thoughts. The fight with the werewolves had taken too much. The sting of near-death still clung to them, and despite the rest they had managed, it wasn¡¯t enough.
Then, they saw the first sign of something worse.
A crude structure stood in the middle of the path¡ªa scarecrow, of sorts. But instead of straw, it was made of flesh.
John stopped dead in his tracks.
The thing had once been a goblin, but now it was something else. Its limbs had been stretched and stitched together with barbed wire, pulled into a mockery of human shape. It was
moving, barely percept , but unmistakable¡ªthe grotesque form twitching as if struggling against unseen strings. The goblin¡¯s mouth hung open in a silent scream, its eyes hollowed-out sockets filled with writhing black worms.
Kaia sucked in a sharp breath. ¡°This¡ this isn¡¯t natural.¡±
¡°No shit,¡± John muttered, forcing himself to step closer. The ground around the thing was dark with dried blood, symbols carved into the dirt.
Thorin gripped his axe. ¡°This is a warning.¡±
John¡¯s stomach twisted. ¡°Yeah? Well, message received, loud and clear.¡±
They edged around the abomination, keeping their weapons ready. But as soon as they passed, the thing lurched.
Its head snapped toward them with a sickening crack.
A horrible, rattling voice rasped from its throat. ¡°Turn baaack... or be... unmade...¡±
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John¡¯s blood ran cold. His body wanted to run, but something in him snapped¡ªpure defiance taking over. He sneered.
¡°Oh yeah? Well, you¡¯re already halfway unmade, buddy.¡±
The scarecrow-thing let out a gurgling sound, its body convulsing. Then, suddenly, it collapsed into dust.
Kaia shivered. ¡°That was¡ not normal.¡±
¡°Nothing about this place is,¡± Thorin said, eyes scanning the path ahead.
John exhaled. He hadn¡¯t realized he¡¯d been holding his breath. Whatever that thing had been, it wasn¡¯t alive¡ªat least not in any way that made sense.
They moved on, the weight of the encounter pressing on them.
And deep in the trees, unseen eyes watched.
The air grew heavier the farther they walked, thick with something wrong. It wasn¡¯t just the absence of light¡ªthough the sky remained an unchanging sheet of dull gray. It was the feeling of the place, like the land itself rejected them.
The trees twisted like broken limbs, their bark blackened and split open like gaping wounds. No birds, no insects¡ªjust an eerie, oppressive silence. The ground crunched underfoot, brittle and dry despite the recent rains.
John wiped the sweat from his forehead. ¡°This place makes Mordoor look cozy.¡±
Thorin grunted, his grip tightening on his axe. Kaia¡¯s fingers twitched near her staff, her unease written across her face.
Then, the whispering began.
At first, John thought it was the wind¡ªexcept there wasn¡¯t any. The voices slithered through the air, too soft to make out but unmistakably there.
Kaia¡¯s breath hitched. ¡°Do you hear that?¡±
¡°Yeah,¡± John said, voice low. ¡°Not loving it.¡±
Thorin turned in a slow circle, scanning the shadows. ¡°Show yourselves, cowards.¡±
The whispers ceased.
For a long, breathless moment, nothing moved. Then¡ªa rustle.
John barely had time to react before something burst from the trees.
A figure, thin and wrong. It moved on all fours, skin stretched tight over its bones, its head twisting too far to the side. Its mouth was filled with too many teeth, its eyes wide and empty.
John swore and threw himself back as it lunged. His dagger flashed, catching it across the arm¡ªbut it didn¡¯t bleed. The thing shrieked, a high-pitched, unnatural sound, and two more came crawling from the woods.
Kaia lifted her staff. ¡°Slow!¡±
A pulse of magic rippled out, and the creatures jerked, their limbs struggling against an unseen force. But they still moved, dragging themselves forward, their
John didn¡¯t hesitate. He surged forward, knife flashing as he drove it into the nearest creature¡¯s throat. The thing shrieked¡ªa sound so piercing and unnatural that his ears rang¡ªbut it didn¡¯t die. Instead, it spasmed, its limbs twitching in unnatural angles before trying to claw at him again.
¡°Oh, come on!¡± John snarled, yanking his blade free.
Thorin roared, splitting another one down the middle with his axe. The creature collapsed, its body twitching violently before going still. "They can die," he confirmed, yanking his axe free. "Just takes effort."
¡°Great,¡± John muttered, dodging another swipe from the third creature. ¡°More effort. Just what I wanted.¡±
Kaia raised her staff again. "Paralyze!"
A golden glow wrapped around the final creature, and it froze mid-lunge. Thorin stepped forward, his axe cleaving into its skull.
Silence fell once more.
John wiped the sweat from his brow, staring down at the twitching bodies. "Okay. That was gross. I hate this place."
Kaia, still breathing hard, examined the bodies. "They''re... not undead. They''re something else."
Thorin grunted. "Whatever they are, they''re dead now."
John looked around at the cursed forest, the whispering just barely starting again in the distance. His gut twisted. They weren¡¯t done here. Not by a long shot.
¡°We need to move,¡± Kaia said. ¡°The path ahead isn¡¯t going to get any better.¡±
John let out a shaky breath. "Fantastic. Let¡¯s get deeper into hell, then."
They pressed on, the shadows growing thicker around them, the land ahead promising nothing but more horror.
The path wound deeper into the cursed landscape, and the air grew thick with decay. A putrid stench clung to everything, a mix of rotting meat and stagnant water. No wind stirred. No birds called. Just the squelching of their boots in the damp, black earth.
John kept his daggers loose in his grip, his nerves stretched thin. His body still ached from the werewolf fight, but adrenaline kept him moving. Every instinct screamed that something was watching them.
¡°This place is worse than the woods,¡± he muttered.
Thorin glanced at him. "You¡¯re not wrong."
Ahead, the road split into two¡ªone path veering left into a thick, gnarled forest, the other sloping downward into a sunken, fog-choked valley.
Kaia hesitated. ¡°I don¡¯t like either option.¡±
John sighed. "Great. Do we want to get lost in an evil forest, or take our chances in a haunted swamp?¡±
Thorin crossed his arms. "Which one smells less like death?"
As if answering, a low moan drifted from the valley below¡ªdistant, guttural, and inhuman. The fog swirled, and John swore he saw shadows moving within it.
¡°Yeah, no,¡± he said quickly. ¡°We¡¯re not going down there.¡±
Kaia nodded. ¡°Agreed.¡±
They took the forest path, weaving through twisted, skeletal trees that clawed at the sky. The deeper they went, the more unnatural it became. The branches bent at impossible angles. The bark pulsed, like breathing flesh.
Then the buzzing started.
At first, it was barely a whisper. Then it grew¡ªa droning, rhythmic hum that seemed to come from all around them.
John gritted his teeth. ¡°Please tell me that¡¯s not coming from the trees.¡±
Kaia¡¯s face was pale. ¡°It is.¡±
The bark split open.
Dozens¡ªhundreds¡ªof bloated, wasp-like creatures began pouring out from within the trees, their wings vibrating at an unnatural frequency. Their bodies glistened with something wet, something alive.
And then they swarmed.
¡°RUN!¡± Kaia screamed.
They bolted down the path, branches whipping at them as the monstrous insects gave chase, their unnatural hum filling the air.
John slashed wildly as one got too close, its slick, writhing body bursting apart with a sickening squelch. But there were too many.
¡°Thorin¡ªfire!¡± Kaia shouted.
Thorin didn¡¯t hesitate. He grabbed a flask from his belt, hurled it behind them, and struck it with his axe. The flask exploded, igniting the trees in a blaze of orange and red.
The creatures shrieked, scattering into the smoke.
The three of them didn¡¯t stop running.
Only when the buzzing faded into the distance did they collapse against a boulder, panting and covered in sweat.
John wiped a hand down his face. ¡°I hate this place. I hate this place so much.¡±
Thorin let out a short, breathless laugh. ¡°Still better than the valley.¡±
Kaia groaned. ¡°Barely.¡±
John stared at the charred path behind them, the distant moans still rising from the valley below.
Something worse was coming.
And it wasn¡¯t far.
John¡¯s boots pounded against the cursed earth, his lungs burning as they ran. The forest was on fire behind them, and the unnatural buzzing of those wasp-like creatures had finally faded. But the relief was short-lived.
Thorin skidded to a halt, nearly slamming into John¡¯s back. ¡°Shit.¡±
John¡¯s stomach dropped. A wall of undead stretched across the path ahead.
Rotting skeletons with rusted armor. Bloated corpses leaking black ichor. Hundreds, maybe thousands. Their dead eyes glowed with sickly green light, and their twisted fingers twitched with anticipation.
John pivoted¡ªonly to see more behind them.
Kaia sucked in a sharp breath. "We''re surrounded."
The dead stood motionless for a heartbeat. Then they rushed forward all at once.
¡°FIGHT!¡± John roared, daggers flashing.
Thorin swung his axe, cleaving a skeleton in half, its bones clattering to the ground. Kaia raised her staff, chanting¡ªa wave of holy light erupted, incinerating several zombies in a blinding burst.
John ducked under a clawed hand and drove his daggers into a corpse¡¯s ribcage, twisting the blades before ripping them free. Black ichor sprayed over his arms, the stench unbearable.
Another undead lunged. John spun, slashing across its throat, but it kept coming, grasping for him with rotted fingers.
Thorin bulldozed through the horde, his axe a whirlwind of destruction, but even he couldn''t cut them down fast enough.
Kaia sent another burst of magic outward, but she was tired. Her breathing ragged, her movements slower.
John stabbed. Slashed. Dodged. But they just kept coming.
Then he heard it¡ªthe rattling of chains.
A massive, towering figure emerged from the horde. A knight, its armor corroded and blackened, chains wrapped around its body like a cage. A cursed champion.
It raised a jagged sword wreathed in green fire¡ªand swung at Thorin.
Thorin barely got his axe up in time. The impact sent him flying, crashing into a pile of bones.
Kaia screamed his name.
John lunged, daggers flashing¡ªbut the knight backhanded him with an iron gauntlet. Pain exploded in his ribs as he hit the ground hard, the wind knocked from his lungs.
The dead swarmed.
John gasped for air, clawing at the dirt as skeletal hands dragged him down.
Kaia tried to reach him, but rotting arms wrapped around her, pulling her away.
Thorin roared in defiance, swinging wildly, but the undead piled onto him, burying him beneath their weight.
John fought. He fought with everything he had.
But it wasn¡¯t enough.
The last thing he saw was the green glow of the cursed knight¡¯s eyes before the tide of the dead swallowed them whole.
Chapter 21: Necropolis City Blues
John groggily came awake, his head pounding like a war drum. The cold stone beneath him seeped into his bones, and the damp air carried the sour scent of mold. He blinked against the dim light, his vision swimming as he tried to focus. His body ached from exhaustion, and when he shifted, he realized he had been covered with a tattered blanket.
A deep voice broke through the haze. ¡°He¡¯s awake, Kaia.¡±
John turned his head to see Thorin sitting against the far wall, his face shadowed in the low light. Kaia was kneeling nearby, concern etched into her expression.
¡°Where are we?¡± John asked, his voice hoarse.
Kaia and Thorin exchanged a look before Kaia answered. ¡°The undead army brought us here. We don¡¯t know exactly where ¡®here¡¯ is, but it¡¯s underground. Some kind of dungeon.¡±
John groaned as he sat up, rolling his shoulders. ¡°How long was I out?¡±
¡°A few hours,¡± Thorin said.
John absently patted his pockets, searching for the familiar weight of his daggers¡ªonly to find nothing. His stomach sank. ¡°They took our belongings.¡±
Kaia nodded. ¡°Everything.¡±
¡°Great,¡± John muttered.
Stretching his legs, he felt something small in his pocket. Frowning, he reached in and pulled out the mysterious ring they had found in the lab. The sight of it made his stomach tighten.
Kaia, who had been watching with curiosity, stiffened in alarm. Her voice dropped to a whisper. ¡°Why didn¡¯t they take that?¡±
John stared at the ring, his fingers gripping it tightly. ¡°Good question.¡±
A cold sensation crept up his spine. The ring, dark and unassuming, had an unsettling aura to it. He could almost feel it pulsing in his palm, like a heartbeat.
Kaia¡¯s face was pale. ¡°I don¡¯t like that at all, John. I can feel the evil in it.¡±
John nodded slowly. ¡°Yeah, I get it. This thing definitely gives me the Wiggins. But still¡ maybe it¡¯ll be useful.¡±
He studied it for a moment longer¡ªperhaps too long¡ªbefore shoving it back into his pocket. ¡°Besides, do we really want these assholes to get their hands on a cursed object of dubious power?¡±
Kaia hesitated but eventually sighed. ¡°I still don¡¯t trust it.¡±
Thorin scratched his beard. ¡°John¡¯s got a point. We don¡¯t need anything making Tiffany more powerful.¡±
Kaia scowled but relented.
John pushed himself to his feet, stretching out the stiffness in his limbs, and walked to the heavy wooden door. It was thick and reinforced with iron bands. He ran his fingers over the structure, inspecting the hinges. A metal slot at the bottom was likely used for sliding in food and water. The lock was large, set into the wood, and when he squinted through the keyhole, he caught a glimpse of a long, dark corridor with other doors lining both sides.
A faint glow caught his attention. Focusing, he activated his interface.
Lock: Pickable. Requires pick.
John sighed. ¡°Of course.¡±
Frustrated, he reared back and kicked the door hard. It made a dull thud.
Laughter erupted from the other side. A voice, low and mocking, echoed through the wood. ¡°Oh, you¡¯re awake. Good. I was starting to think you might sleep through your execution.¡±
John rolled his eyes. ¡°Execution? Come on, that¡¯s a little dramatic, don¡¯t you think? I feel like we should get a trial first. Maybe a stern talking-to?¡±
More laughter, this time from multiple voices. Footsteps approached, slow and deliberate. A shadow blocked the dim torchlight seeping through the keyhole.
¡°You¡¯re funny. I wonder if you¡¯ll still be joking when Mistress Tiffany carves you apart.¡±
John shot a look at Kaia and Thorin. ¡°Mistress Tiffany? Is she a dominatrix? Oh no is this her creepy love dungeon?¡±
Kaia groaned, rubbing her temples. ¡°John, must you antagonize them?¡±
¡°Must? No. But will I? Absolutely.¡±
A sharp rap on the door silenced their exchange. ¡°Enjoy your last hours. You¡¯ll be seeing her soon.¡± The footsteps retreated, laughter fading into the distance.
John exhaled through his nose, tapping his fingers against the wooden surface. ¡°Well, that¡¯s encouraging.¡±
Thorin crossed his arms. ¡°We need to get out of here. You¡¯re the rogue, John. Any bright ideas?¡±
John motioned toward the lock. ¡°I could pick this, but the only thing I still have is a cursed ring, but I doubt it¡¯s gonna be much help with this.¡±
Kaia shuddered. ¡°I still don¡¯t like that you have it.¡±
¡°Noted,¡± John said, turning back to the door. ¡°But unless you can magic us out, we¡¯re stuck.¡±
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Thorin rubbed his jaw. ¡°We should at least test if it¡¯s weak. Maybe we can force it.¡±
John nodded, stepping aside. Thorin took a deep breath and slammed his shoulder into the wood. The door barely rattled. He tried again, harder this time. Nothing.
Kaia winced. ¡°That¡¯s not budging.¡±
John set to work searching the dungeon cell. His fingers traced along the rough stone walls, feeling for any irregularities. A hidden panel, a loose brick¡ªanything. The door was solid, the floor cold and unyielding. The only thing of note was the rusty metal food slot at the base of the door, but without proper tools, it wouldn¡¯t do much good.
Frustration bubbled up inside him as he dropped onto the floor, exhaling hard. The weight of the ring in his pocket pressed against his leg. He pulled it out, rolling it between his fingers.
¡°You know,¡± he said, turning the ring over in his palm, ¡°I could put this on and see what it does. Maybe it¡¯ll give me super strength or something.¡±
Kaia gasped and darted across the room, grabbing John¡¯s shoulders. ¡°John, do not put that on. It¡¯s dangerous.¡±
He looked up at her, meeting her wide, worried eyes. The urgency in her voice was enough to make him hesitate. He took a deep breath and nodded. ¡°Yeah, okay. You¡¯re right.¡±
Kaia exhaled, shaking her head in exasperation. As she did, a faint blue glow shimmered in her hair.
John¡¯s eyes widened. ¡°Kaia! Your hair¡ª¡±
She patted at it frantically. ¡°What? What¡¯s wrong?¡±
¡°No, not your hair¡ªyour hair clip! Give it to me¡±
Confused, Kaia reached up and pulled a small metal clip from her hair, handing it to him. As soon as John took it, his interface flickered to life.
Metal Hair Clip ¨C Common
Can be used as a makeshift lockpick.
John grinned, holding it up like a prized treasure. ¡°Yes! Kaia, you just saved the day.¡±
Kaia blinked, then huffed. ¡°You mean my hair clip did.¡±
John waggled it between his fingers. ¡°Hey, you were wearing it. That counts.¡±
Thorin clapped his hands together. ¡°Well? What are you waiting for? Get that door open.¡±
John turned to the lock, his grin widening. ¡°Now, let¡¯s see if I still remember how to do this.¡±
As John approached the heavy wooden door, he froze. Footsteps echoed from the corridor beyond. He quickly turned back, moving swiftly to his spot against the damp stone wall. Sliding the hair clip into his boot, he sat down just as the metal slot at the base of the door screeched open.
A chipped clay jug filled with murky brown water was shoved through, followed by a dented metal tray carrying moldy bread and an unidentifiable gray gruel. The slot slammed shut.
Thorin leaned forward, sniffed, and immediately recoiled. "Even I have standards."
Kaia grimaced. ¡°This is disgusting.¡±
John frowned at the slop, then stood and pounded his fist against the door. ¡°Hey, you maggot ridden lackey! What is this garbage? I wouldn¡¯t feed this to a dog, let alone a highly esteemed prisoner such as myself!¡±
A raspy voice from the other side shouted back. "Eat it or starve, meat sack!"
John sneered. ¡°Oh, come on, even prison food should at least be food! This violates the Geneva Convention!¡±
Thorin raised a brow. ¡°What¡¯s that?¡±
John sighed. ¡°Rules for war. No torturing prisoners, no war crimes, and most importantly, no feeding them moldy bread.¡±
The voice behind the door growled. ¡°I¡¯ll be right back, you ungrateful bastard.¡±
John smirked, crossing his arms. ¡°Yeah, you do that.¡±
A moment later, the door slammed open, revealing two figures. One was a tall skeleton wearing cracked spectacles, its bony fingers clutching a clipboard. The other was a short, bloated creature with too much sagging skin, covered in open sores.
The skeleton adjusted its glasses. ¡°I hear complaints about our culinary excellence.¡±
John threw his arms in the air. ¡°Oh, you must be the head chef! Listen, buddy, I hate to break it to you, but your food is a crime against nature.¡±
The grotesque creature wobbled forward, jabbing a slimy finger in the air. ¡°That gruel recipe has been in my family for centuries!¡±
John snorted. ¡°What, your undead family? Because it tastes like something that¡¯s been rotting for that long.¡±
The skeleton huffed. ¡°It¡¯s perfectly edible.¡±
¡°Yeah, if you have no taste buds and a death wish.¡±
The argument escalated into a ridiculous debate about ¡°refined undead palates¡± versus ¡°living taste standards.¡± Kaia and Thorin watched in stunned amusement as John continued to hurl increasingly absurd culinary insults.
Finally, the two creatures threw up their hands. ¡°Fine! If you don¡¯t appreciate our cooking, we¡¯ll bring you the worst things we can make¡±
With that, they stomped off, slamming the door behind them.
Kaia turned to John. ¡°What exactly are you doing?¡±
John leaned back smugly. ¡°Throwing them off balance. Being a dick in general. They¡¯re going to sacrifice us anyway, might as well try to create an opening.¡±
Moments later, the chefs returned, grinning triumphantly. They wheeled in a silver tray, uncovering a meal that looked like it belonged in a five-star restaurant. A perfectly cooked beef Wellington sat atop a bed of roasted fingerling potatoes, all drizzled with a rich demi-glace. A bottle of fine red wine accompanied the spread.
John¡¯s eyes widened in mock horror. ¡°Oh no! Not that! Please, anything but delicious, perfectly cooked food! I beg you, spare us this torment!¡±
The chefs cackled. ¡°That¡¯s what you get for insulting our cooking! Enjoy your punishment, human!¡±
Laughing, they left and locked the door behind them.
Thorin and Kaia stared at the meal in disbelief.
Kaia slowly turned to John. ¡°How¡ how did you know that would happen?¡±
John grinned, grabbing a knife. ¡°I was just being an asshole.¡±
The three companions enjoyed their "last meal" in high spirits, and as soon as it was done, John got up.
John knelt by the door, the makeshift lockpick clutched in his fingers. He exhaled slowly, preparing to work the tumblers when¡ªagain¡ªhe heard the rhythmic clack of approaching footsteps. He cursed under his breath and shoved the hair clip back into his boot, stepping away just as the heavy wooden door creaked open.
Several armed creatures stood in the doorway, their twisted forms blocking the dim torchlight from the corridor.
"Time to go," one rasped, its voice like dried leaves crumbling in the wind.
With little choice, John, Kaia, and Thorin were ushered out into the passage, flanked by their grotesque escorts. The air was thick with damp rot and something acrid that stung the back of John''s throat.
As they moved deeper through the dungeon, they passed other cells, each holding things that shouldn¡¯t exist.
In one, a bloated, slug-like man with too many eyes pressed his amorphous body against the bars, his mouth splitting open into a jagged grin filled with yellowed teeth.
In another, a woman with porcelain skin sat eerily still, her face cracked like an old doll¡¯s. As they passed, her eyes twitched toward them, unblinking.
A three-headed dog, emaciated and snarling, paced behind its bars, each of its mouths whispering different threats in languages John didn''t understand.
Further down, a twisted heap of limbs writhed in the shadows, a chorus of voices whispering, sobbing, laughing. It had no discernible head, only groping hands and skeletal arms reaching outward.
John kept his gaze forward, shuddering. What kind of nightmare factory is this place?
The corridor finally sloped upward, and the air grew colder. At last, they emerged into the open night.
The city before them was a corpse of stone and bone. Jagged, blackened buildings loomed, some half-collapsed, others grotesquely twisted as if they had melted and reformed into nightmarish shapes. The streets were paved with uneven cobblestones, some of which were gravestones, the names worn away by time.
Dim green flames flickered in iron lanterns, casting eerie shadows against the crumbling walls. The air smelled of decay, damp earth, and something sickly sweet, like flowers left too long in stagnant water.
The dead walked freely here. Skeletal figures in tattered finery meandered through the streets, some carrying rusted lanterns, others pulling decrepit carts filled with things John didn¡¯t want to examine too closely. Shambling corpses, their bodies barely held together by necrotic magic, patrolled the roads like soldiers.
A massive statue loomed over the center of the necropolis¡ªa grotesque figure of a woman, her stone eyes hollow, her mouth frozen in a twisted grin. In one hand, she held a flayed skull; in the other, a scepter crowned with a still-beating heart encased in glass.
"This place is wrong," Kaia murmured, hugging herself.
John nodded. "Yeah. Like Silent Hill and a Victorian graveyard had a baby. And then left it to die."
They were led down the wide avenue toward the heart of the city.
The grotesque mansion loomed at the end of the street, a monstrous structure that seemed less built and more grown from the bones of the dead. Its spires jutted at unnatural angles, like broken fingers reaching for the sky. The walls pulsed faintly, as if the structure itself breathed.
The doors were flanked by two massive skeleton gate guards, each standing motionless with enormous battle-axes resting against their shoulders. As the group approached, the skeletons turned in eerie unison and pushed open the great doors.
The moment the doors parted, thick green smoke billowed forth, curling around their feet like grasping fingers. The interior glowed with a sickly, unholy light, illuminating the throne room beyond.
The vast chamber was a cathedral of nightmares. Black stone walls were veined with pulsing green energy, casting eerie shadows across the room. Rows of sconces burned with ghostly flames, the light flickering against grotesque carvings of screaming faces embedded in the stone.
The ceiling stretched impossibly high, draped with rotting banners of unknown insignias. A grand throne, carved from a single massive skull, sat upon a raised dais at the far end of the chamber. Its armrests were shaped from outstretched, skeletal hands, fingers curled as if grasping at unseen prey.
Tiffany stepped forward, the green glow casting eerie shadows over her bubblegum pink perfection. Her platinum blonde hair, sleek and glossy, was pulled into a high ponytail, held together with a fuzzy pink scrunchie. The ends curled slightly, bouncing with each confident step she took on her glitter-covered, hot pink platform heels.
Her makeup was flawless, like she had just stepped out of a 90s teen magazine¡ªfrosted pink lip gloss, baby blue eyeshadow, and perfectly arched brows. Her eyes shimmered an unnatural neon green, but the effect was less ¡®dark sorceress¡¯ and more ¡®cheerleader possessed by eldritch horror.¡¯
She wore a white crop top with a pink plaid mini skirt, the kind that looked straight out of a high school movie where she was definitely the queen bee. Her knee-high socks were white with pink stripes at the top, paired with a cropped pink faux-fur jacket draped over her shoulders like she was about to head to the mall, not command an undead army.
Her manicured nails¡ªlong, almond-shaped, and coated in glossy pink polish¡ªtapped rhythmically against her bejeweled pink staff. A green glowing skull held in her other hand was the only clue that she was anything other than an undead valley girl nightmare.
She tilted her head, blowing a bubble with her gum before letting it pop with a sharp snap. ¡°Ugh, finally. You guys took forever to get here. Like, seriously, were you lost or just, like, bad at getting captured?¡±
Chapter 22: Tiffany
As John took in the absolute absurdity of the situation, he broke into laughter. Not just a chuckle, but full-blown, doubled-over, tear-streaming, gasping-for-air laughter. The kind that made his ribs ache and his stomach burn.
Kaia looked at him, horrified, while Thorin simply smirked, shaking his head.
Tiffany, standing in all her bubblegum-pink, undead queen glory, placed a perfectly manicured hand on her hip, her lips pursed in offense. "Um, excuse me?"
Before John could catch his breath, a skeletal guard stepped forward and slapped him across the face. A dull crack echoed through the throne room.
John''s head snapped to the side. Slowly, he turned back, rage flickering behind his amused expression.
"You will show your Queen the respect she deserves!" said the skeletal guard.
Tiffany clapped her hands together, delighted. "Thank you! Someone around here gets it."
John¡¯s lips curled into a mirthless smile. ¡°Oh, you¡¯re gonna regret that.¡± He shook his head and added, ¡°And, for the record, I already have a queen. And you, sweetheart, are no Dolly Parton.¡±
Tiffany¡¯s face twisted in offense like he¡¯d just insulted her entire existence¡ªwhich, to be fair, he had.
"As if!" she scoffed. "You think you¡¯re so clever. But, like, joke¡¯s on you, ¡®cause adventurers make the best sacrifices.¡±
Kaia and Thorin stiffened, eyes widening in shock.
John simply grinned. "Necromancers make the best bartenders¡ªevery drink comes with a little extra spirit!"
Tiffany pouted, crossing her arms. ¡°What? You¡¯re not surprised I know you¡¯re an adventurer?¡±
John tilted his head, mocking her right back. ¡°As if.¡± He flicked a hand dramatically, "Talk to the hand, ¡®cause the face ain''t listening!".
Tiffany gasped, hand to her chest, mock-hurt. "Oh my gosh, rude! You bring about as much value as a Blockbuster late fee!"
John¡¯s smirk turned to surprise. ¡°Wait a second¡ªyou¡¯re from Earth, too? And straight outta the 90s? Are you an Adventuerer?¡±
Tiffany let out a giggle, twirling a lock of blonde hair. ¡°Oh no, I¡¯m not an adventurer. Just, like, half an adventurer.¡± She fluttered her lashes. ¡°Daddy is, though. He¡¯s so powerful.¡±
John groaned. ¡°Lemme guess. You¡¯re trying to impress ¡®Daddy¡¯ by spreading your undead army across the land?¡±
Tiffany beamed. ¡°Duh! I need to show him I¡¯m totally 2 Legit 2 Quit.¡±
John snorted. ¡°Your Daddy must¡¯ve been a lawyer. Those guys are seriously evil.¡±
Tiffany¡¯s expression darkened, her cheerleader facade cracking for the first time. Her voice turned icy. ¡°You don¡¯t talk about Daddy like that.¡±
John just smirked harder. ¡°Touched a nerve, huh?¡±
Tiffany flipped her hair and turned away. ¡°Ugh. Whatever. Guards! Take them back to their cell. I, like, have a ritual to prepare.¡±
John, Kaia, and Thorin were shoved forward back to their cells.
***
As they were marched back through the dimly lit corridors of the necropolis, the stench of rot and damp stone clung to the air. John kept his head down, his mind racing for an opportunity.
Then, just as they neared their cell, a door creaked open ahead. A hulking, undead guard stepped out, stretching its grotesquely long arms with an audible pop.
John¡¯s eyes flicked past it and into the room beyond.
Inside, several guards sat around a rickety wooden table, hunched over a game of cards. The flickering torchlight cast eerie shadows on their skeletal faces as they grumbled over their hands. One of them cursed and threw his cards down, sending a small pile of bones¡ªprobably currency¡ªscattering across the table.
But John wasn¡¯t interested in the game.
His gaze slid to the shelf behind them, where he spotted their stolen gear, neatly stacked alongside weapons, belts, and various pilfered trinkets.
There it is.
He slowed his pace, angling for a better look¡ªonly to be shoved forward by the guard behind him.
"Move it," the creature growled.
John bit back a smirk, letting himself be led away without protest. That¡¯s fine. He''d seen all he needed to see.
Back in the cell, John plopped down onto the cold stone floor with an absolutely shit-eating grin.
Thorin squinted at him. ¡°Why do you look so pleased?¡±
John wordlessly reached into his pocket and pulled out a long, bone-white skeleton key. He twirled it between his fingers, letting it catch the dim torchlight.
Kaia¡¯s jaw dropped. ¡°How¡ª? When¡ª?¡±
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John grinned wider. ¡°Because I have a plan¡¡± He gave the key a final spin before catching it in his palm.
¡°¡And I love it when a plan comes together.¡±
John sat cross-legged in the dimly lit cell, a grin stretching across his face. In one hand, he twirled the stolen skeleton key; in the other, he casually examined a crude, well-worn chef¡¯s knife.
Kaia and Thorin stared.
Kaia was the first to break the silence. ¡°Where¡ª¡± She gestured wildly at the knife. ¡°Where did you get that?¡±
Thorin, leaning against the wall, chuckled, his eyes glinting with amusement. ¡°Better question¡ªwhere the hell were you keeping that?¡±
John waggled his eyebrows. ¡°A magician never reveals his secrets.¡±
Kaia folded her arms. ¡°John.¡±
He sighed dramatically. ¡°Fine, fine. When the cooks came in earlier, I may have, y¡¯know... borrowed it.¡± He shrugged, tossing the knife in the air and catching it effortlessly.
Kaia¡¯s eyes narrowed. ¡°And the key?¡±
John¡¯s grin turned downright mischievous. ¡°Oh, that? I swiped it when I got slapped by the guard.¡±
Thorin burst out laughing, nearly doubling over. ¡°So, let me get this straight. You intentionally got your ass handed to you by a walking skeleton just so you could pickpocket him?¡±
John gave a theatrical bow. ¡°Thank you, thank you. I¡¯ll be here all week.¡±
Kaia looked utterly exasperated. ¡°So you actually had a plan all along?¡±
John hesitated just a beat too long.
¡°Welllllllllllll¡¡± He dragged the word out, rocking his hand back and forth in a so-so motion. ¡°Mostly. Kinda.¡±
Kaia¡¯s eyes narrowed dangerously.
John cleared his throat. ¡°Look, I just went with instinct. Tried some things that worked in the movies.¡±
Kaia¡¯s expression darkened. ¡°You gambled our lives on silly moving stories?!¡±
Thorin lost it. The big man collapsed onto the stone floor, laughing so hard he actually struggled to breathe.
John crossed his arms. ¡°I mean, they were gonna sacrifice us anyway. Couldn¡¯t hurt, right?¡±
Kaia pinched the bridge of her nose and muttered a prayer under her breath.
Recovering from his fit of laughter, Thorin sat up. ¡°Alright, alright. I¡¯ll admit, that was some quick thinking.¡± He nodded toward the key. ¡°So, what¡¯s the plan, oh great mastermind?¡±
John cleared his throat and straightened up. Then, with all the dramatic weight of a seasoned orator, he began:
¡°Right. We pop down to the Winchester, have a pint, and wait for all this to blow over.¡±
Silence.
Kaia blinked.
Thorin stared.
John grinned at their blank expressions. ¡°Nothing? No love for Shaun of the Dead?¡±
Kaia groaned. ¡°By the gods, focus.¡±
John held up his hands in surrender. ¡°Fine, fine. The actual plan¡ª¡± He pointed to Kaia. ¡°I use your hairpin to pick the lock. Then we sneak down to the guard room. Once we¡¯re there, we bust in, kill the guards, grab our gear, and¡ªput on their guard uniforms.¡±
Thorin nodded, intrigued. ¡°And then?¡±
John smirked. ¡°Then we march right into the throne room, take out Tiffany, and get the hell out of here like we owe this place money.¡±
Kaia considered it for a moment, then sighed. ¡°There¡¯s a lot that could go wrong, but¡ that¡¯s actually a solid plan.¡±
Thorin clapped a massive hand on John¡¯s shoulder. ¡°The ¡®killing undead things¡¯ part is definitely my favorite.¡±
John gave a mock bow. ¡°Always happy to entertain.¡±
John knelt by the iron cell door, pulling the borrowed hairpin from his pocket. He slid it into the lock, biting his lip in concentration as he worked. A few tense moments later¡ª
Click.
He grinned, pushing the door open silently. ¡°Showtime.¡±
The three of them crept through the dimly lit halls, keeping to the shadows. They moved quickly but cautiously, staying low and quiet as they approached the guardroom.
As they neared the door, John motioned for silence. He could hear the clatter of dice and the murmur of conversation inside.
Thorin flexed his fingers, rolling his shoulders. ¡°Ready?¡± he whispered.
John nodded. Pulling the stolen key from his pocket and unlocking the door.
Thorin threw the door open with a resounding boom.
The guards¡ªskeletons, zombies, and a couple of very alive and very startled cultists¡ªturned in shock.
John, Kaia, and Thorin rushed in.
The undead were slow to react¡ªtoo used to lumbering around rather than engaging in actual combat. The cultists scrambled for weapons, but it was already too late.
John went straight for the nearest cultist, who barely had time to squeak in fear before John plunged the stolen knife into his chest. The man gurgled and collapsed, his robes darkening with blood. Grabbing the dagger from the dead cultist, he threw it to Kaia.
Thorin barreled into the nearest skeleton, shattering it into a pile of bones with a single punch. Kaia danced between two rotting corpses, her blade flashing like silver lightning as she carved them down with deadly precision.
Within moments, it was over.
John panted, wiping his blade on a fallen robe. ¡°That went well.¡±
Thorin picked up his own recovered warhammer, giving it a satisfied twirl. ¡°I really missed you,¡± he murmured to it.
Kaia retrieved her staff, turning back to John. ¡°Alright. We¡¯ve got our gear. What now?¡±
John looked around and then spotted the guard uniforms stacked neatly on a bench.
He grinned.
¡°We suit up and walk out of here like we belong.¡±
They moved through the dimly lit tunnels, retracing their earlier path. The flickering torchlight cast eerie shadows on the stone walls, but John was in high spirits. His plan was working, and damn if that didn¡¯t feel good.
He adjusted the stolen guard uniform, barely containing his smirk. ¡°I gotta say, for a half-baked, on-the-fly escape plan, this is going surprisingly well.¡±
Kaia shot him a look. ¡°Don¡¯t say that. You¡¯ll jinx it.¡±
Thorin grinned. ¡°Let him enjoy it, healer. He thrives on chaos.¡±
John chuckled. ¡°Guilty as charged.¡±
As they walked, his thoughts drifted back to Tiffany. His grin widened. ¡°So, let¡¯s break this down. I¡¯m guessing her ¡®Daddy¡¯¡ªwho she talks about like he¡¯s the CEO of Hell, Inc.¡ªmust have arrived here back in the ¡®90s.¡± He glanced at Kaia and Thorin. ¡°That¡¯s a time period, by the way.¡±
Kaia sighed. ¡°I gathered.¡±
¡°Oh, but you haven¡¯t gathered.¡± John stretched dramatically, preparing himself. ¡°The 1990s. A golden era of flannel shirts, dial-up internet, and real music. Backstreet Boys vs. *NSYNC, the great wars of Pepsi vs. Coke. Renting movies at Blockbuster, only to forget to rewind them¡ªbarbaric. Tamagotchis, neon windbreakers, and, of course, the holy grail of Saturday morning cartoons. You kids don¡¯t understand. It was a time.¡±
Kaia stared at him, unimpressed. ¡°That...sounds ridiculous.¡±
John placed a hand over his heart. ¡°I feel personally attacked.¡±
"How long ago was that in your time?" Thorin asked
John thought and said, " Um like thirty-five years ago."
Thorin snorted. ¡°So, thirty-five years ago, huh? You were actually young back then?¡±
John narrowed his eyes at the dwarf. ¡°I was young, yes. Spry. Full of life. Not an old, bitter husk of a man like I am now.¡±
Thorin smirked. ¡°Hard to imagine you ever being spry.¡±
John huffed. ¡°Laugh it up, stonehead. You wish you¡¯ll look this good when you hit my age.¡±
Thorin rubbed his beard. ¡°Eh, my family ages well. I¡¯ll probably look the same.¡±
Kaia cut in, her tone more thoughtful. ¡°But how could Tiffany¡¯s father still be here? If all adventurers disappeared, why didn¡¯t he?¡±
John¡¯s grin faded slightly. That was a good question.
Kaia continued, frowning. ¡°Maybe some kind of dark magic kept him here. Or¡¡± She hesitated. ¡°Maybe he¡¯s responsible for the Grandfather¡¯s disappearance.¡±
That made John stop in his tracks. The Grandfather¡ªthe absent god who had supposedly abandoned this world. Whos absence, from everything John had learned, was the reason adventurers had stopped appearing.
He exhaled, running a hand through his hair. ¡°Man, this just keeps getting weirder. Every time I think I¡¯m getting a handle on things, another mystery pops up.¡±
Kaia sighed. ¡°There have been more mysteries since meeting you than in my entire life before.¡±
John gave her a cocky grin. ¡°What can I say? I am a man of mystery.¡±
They kept moving, but something felt different now. The deeper they went, the more aware John became of their surroundings.
Whispers. Shuffling noises. The weight of unseen eyes pressing in from the darkness.
Thorin noticed it too, his hand drifting toward the hilt of his reclaimed axe. ¡°We¡¯re being watched.¡±
Kaia nodded, tense.
John exhaled, rolling his shoulders. ¡°Yeah. Figures.¡±
They pressed on, walking as confidently as they could. The tunnels led them closer to the necropolis, the air growing colder. From the shadows, figures shifted¡ªgaunt faces peering through the barred windows of their cells. Some were human, others monstrous. Hollow-eyed prisoners. Chained wraiths. Creatures half-rotted, still clinging to the scraps of their former lives.
John kept his gaze forward, refusing to let it get to him.
They ascended the final staircase, stepping once again into the necropolis.
The city of the dead stretched before them¡ªtwisted spires of bone and black stone, buildings sagging under the weight of centuries. Ghostly green light pulsed through cracks in the walls, illuminating the cobblestone streets in an eerie glow. The air smelled of decay, magic, and something wrong.
Towering above the city was Tiffany¡¯s mansion, a grotesque parody of luxury. A gothic monstrosity wrapped in crawling vines of necrotic energy. The walls pulsed as if the structure itself was alive.
John whistled low. ¡°You know, I¡¯ve been in some bad neighborhoods before, but this place takes the cake.¡±
They moved quickly, trying to look like they belonged. The mansion loomed closer.
Then¡ªmovement.
A group of skeletal guards stepped out from a nearby alley, their empty eye sockets glowing with balefire. Their heads tilted as they studied the three disguised intruders.
John kept walking. ¡°Act natural.¡±
Thorin grunted. ¡°Natural for who? We¡¯re in a city full of corpses.¡±
The guards didn¡¯t move, didn¡¯t speak.
Then, one stepped forward.
¡°You there.¡±
John turned, forcing a bored expression. ¡°What?¡±
"You look familiar. Do I know you? The Skeleton asked
John looked exasperated, and Kaia and Thorin had to stifle laughs.
John quickly said, " Of course I look familiar. We''re both guards, and Tiffany wants us right now."
John turned and began to walk away.
The skeleton studied him. ¡°¡You¡¯re not one of us.¡±
John sighed. ¡°Buddy, none of us are really ¡®one of us.¡¯ We¡¯re walking bones.¡±
The guard tilted his head, uncertain.
Kaia shot John a look that screamed Don¡¯t push it.
The skeletal guards all turned in unison, their weapons raised.
Kaia grabbed John¡¯s arm. ¡°Plan?¡±
John sighed, rolling his neck.
¡°Yeah.¡± His fingers twitched toward his stolen knife. ¡°Same as before.¡±
Thorin grinned. ¡°Cause chaos?¡±
John nodded.
Thorin cracked his knuckles. ¡°I love this plan.¡±
And with that, all hell broke loose.
Chapter 23: Dance With The Devil In The Pale Moonlight
The three companions stood back-to-back in the center of the decrepit courtyard, surrounded by a wall of undead soldiers. Skeletal knights clattered their teeth menacingly, while zombified guards groaned and shuffled forward, swords raised.
John let out a slow breath. ¡°Okay. So. Not great.¡±
Kaia glared at him. ¡°Not great?! We¡¯re trapped!¡±
Thorin rolled his shoulders. ¡°Bah. We fight our way out.¡±
John raised a finger. ¡°Or! And hear me out¡ªwe run for our lives.¡±
Kaia and Thorin exchanged glances.
¡°Fair,¡± Kaia said.
And then, like someone hit fast forward, all three of them bolted¡ªstraight for the nearest door.
The undead, momentarily surprised, took a beat before scrambling after them in a comically uncoordinated mess of clattering bones and shuffling limbs.
John, Kaia, and Thorin tore down the corridor, their feet pounding against the stone floor. Behind them, a horde of undead thundered after them like a very aggressive drumline.
¡°Left!¡± John shouted.
They veered left.
¡°Right!¡±
They veered right.
¡°Other left!¡±
Kaia smacked him as they turned down a staircase instead. ¡°That¡¯s right, you idiot!¡±
They hit the bottom of the stairs and¡ªbam¡ªanother squad of undead appeared.
¡°Reverse!¡± John yelped.
They ran back up, barreling right through the pursuing skeletons, scattering bones everywhere.
They skidded into a long hallway lined with doors. Without thinking, John yanked one open, and they all piled inside.
The pursuing skeletons stopped and stared at the door.
Then¡ªBAM!¡ªa different door down the hall burst open, and John and the gang ran out at full speed.
The undead did a double-take.
A zombie threw open a random door¡ªrevealing another confused zombie inside.
A skeleton yanked open a door¡ªonly to get yanked inside by a third skeleton.
John suddenly ran out of another door¡ªthis time carrying a very confused zombie under one arm.
¡°Wrong door!¡± he shouted, shoving the zombie back inside.
Kaia sprinted past, clutching an armful of pastries from somewhere.
Thorin, mid-run, somehow had a tiny undead puppy happily trotting beside him.
One of the zombies looked at his skeletal buddy, shrugged, and just slowly closed the door in front of him.
The three of them darted into a storage room filled with rusted suits of armor.
John grinned. ¡°Quick! We hide!¡±
As Undead soldiers shuffled into a den filled with comfortable sitting chairs and bookshelves filled with many leatherbound books three very badly disguised sets of armor were standing stiffly in the middle.
One skeleton paused, looking at the obviously too short ¡°armor¡± that was Thorin. Another turned to ¡°Kaia¡¯s¡± suit, which had a big chunk missing where her actual hair was sticking out.
And then there was John. Who for some reason had put his armor on backward.
The skeletons exchanged looks.
Then one of them shrugged and moved on.
Just as the last undead passed, John whispered, ¡°See? Flawless.¡±
Kaia groaned.
Then John¡¯s helmet fell off with a loud clang.
All the skeletons stopped.
John sighed. ¡°And that¡¯s our cue to run again.¡±
With the entire undead army now barreling toward them again, the trio sprinted toward the grand ballroom.
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At the end of the room? A massive stained-glass window.
John nodded. ¡°Only one way out.¡±
Kaia groaned. ¡°Oh, I hate this plan.¡±
Thorin grinned. ¡°I love this plan.¡±
John leapt first, dramatically diving through the glass like an action hero.
Thorin followed, roaring in triumph.
Kaia¡stopped at the edge, muttering, ¡°This is so stupid.¡± Then a zombie tripped and accidentally bumped her out the window.
The three of them hit the ground outside in a pile of shattered glass, bruised egos, and general exhaustion.
John groaned, lifting his head. ¡°Okay. That could have gone better.¡±
Thorin cackled. ¡°Could¡¯ve gone worse!¡±
Kaia, lying face down, just muttered, ¡°I need a vacation.¡±
John rolled onto his back, staring at the dark sky. ¡°Well¡ I think we lost them.¡±
Inside, the undead soldiers peered out the shattered window, confused.
Then, a single zombie flopped out after them, landing right next to John.
John yelped and punted it back through the window.
Thorin clapped. ¡°Ten points!¡±
Kaia just groaned louder.
***
The undead soldiers closed in, their hollow eyes glinting with eerie green fire. Rusted swords scraped against armor, skeletal fingers flexed around ancient weapons. The circle around them tightened. There was nowhere to run.
Kaia¡¯s voice was sharp, desperate. ¡°John, do you have any more bright ideas?¡±
John had nothing. His mind was blank. He glanced at Thorin and Kaia, seeing the truth in their eyes. They knew. They knew this was it. They were outmatched and outnumbered. There was no last-minute trick, no clever escape.
For all his jokes, all his bravado¡ªhe was going to fail them.
The whisper in the back of his mind, the one that had haunted him for years, slithered in.
You¡¯re not good enough.
You put on a good show, but you always come up short, don¡¯t you?
You tried. But it wasn¡¯t enough.
His throat tightened. His fingers curled into fists.
This was how it ended. At the hands of some undead valley girl¡¯s army, a punchline to a joke no one would hear. He would never see his family again. Never go home.
And then¡ª
"I can help."
The whisper wasn¡¯t his own this time. It was something else.
John¡¯s breath hitched. ¡°What?¡±
"I can help you. I can give you power. Enough to destroy every last one of these flesh bags. Enough to kill that insufferable girl. Enough to get you home."
His hand twitched toward his pocket. The weight of the ring was suddenly there¡ªa presence he hadn¡¯t noticed before.
"Who are you?" John asked, though deep down, he already knew.
"I am¡" the voice in his mind deep
The voice slithered through his skull like smoke, curling around his thoughts.
"I am Malrikoth."
Oh yeah. That was definitely a demonic name. Nothing friendly or neutral about that one.
John exhaled sharply. "Of course you are. And let me guess¡ªyou live in the creepy cursed ring I¡¯ve been carrying around?"
"Oh, you wound me, John. ''Creepy''? I prefer ''ancient and powerful.'' But yes, I reside within the ring. And I can give you all the strength you need. Just say the word."
His fingers traced the edge of the ring in his pocket. It felt cold, unnaturally so, even through the fabric of his pants.
Kaia¡¯s voice snapped through the haze. ¡°John? John! What are you doing?¡±
He swallowed hard. The undead were closing in, their breath rattling, their bones clattering with each step. Thorin had his axe raised, but even he knew they couldn''t win this fight.
"So," John muttered under his breath, "just to be clear, you''re offering to turn me into a total badass, wipe out all these skeleton assholes, and help me get home?"
"Yessssssssss," Malrikoth hissed.
John smirked. ¡°And the teensy, tiny cost?¡±
There was a pause, then a sigh.
"Your soul."
John let that hang in the air for a moment. Then he snorted. ¡°Oh, just my soul? That¡¯s all? Damn, Mal, you drive a hard bargain.¡±
"Come now, John. You and I both know you¡¯re already damned. What¡¯s one more step into the abyss?"
His fingers closed around the ring.
¡°John, don¡¯t you dare!¡± Kaia¡¯s voice was raw, pleading. She saw the shift in his stance, the glint in his eye. She lunged forward, but it was too late.
John pulled the ring from his pocket and slipped it onto his finger.
The world exploded.
A blast of black energy erupted outward, throwing Kaia and Thorin back. The ground trembled. The undead army staggered, caught in the shockwave.
Darkness poured from John, coiling like living shadows. The temperature in the cavern plummeted. The torches along the walls flickered and died. The only light now came from John himself¡ªhis eyes, black as midnight with burning crimson irises.
He stood in the epicenter of the chaos, breathing slowly, deliberately. A wicked grin spread across his face.
The skeletons hesitated.
John flexed his fingers, and dark energy crackled around his fists. He tilted his head, feeling the power surging through him.
¡°Oh,¡± he said, his voice layered with something deeper, something other. ¡°This is fun.¡±
Kaia pushed herself up, coughing. ¡°John! Take it off!¡±
Thorin, still sprawled on the ground, looked up at John and whistled. ¡°Well, shit. This can''t be good.¡±
John turned to the horde of undead surrounding them. The fear was palpable. Even in their rotting sockets, their eyes burned with hesitation.
John raised his hand.
¡°Alright, you bony bastards. Who wants to dance?¡±
The first wave of undead charged.
John barely moved. He thought about moving, and his body responded before his mind could catch up. He blurred through the air, appearing in front of the nearest skeleton, his fist already swinging.
His punch didn¡¯t just hit¡ªit obliterated. The skeleton exploded into a rain of bone shards.
The next one lunged¡ªJohn spun, grabbing it by the spine and tearing it in half.
Another tried to stab him. He caught the blade between two fingers and snapped it like a twig before grabbing the skeleton¡¯s skull and crushing it in his grip.
His body moved on instinct, possessed by the demon¡¯s overwhelming power. His limbs blurred as he tore through the undead ranks like a hurricane of destruction. Shadows coiled around his arms, manifesting into wicked claws that shredded through bone and rotting flesh with effortless precision. A skeletal knight lunged at him, only for John to catch its sword arm and rip off at the elbow, swinging the arm still clutching the sword it cleaved a zombie in half, Dropping the arm he drove his fist through its ribcage, obliterating it in a burst of black energy. Zombies swarmed him, but with a mere wave of his hand, tendrils of darkness erupted from the ground, impaling them where they stood. A hulking ghoul tried to flank him¡ªJohn turned, eyes burning with unholy power, and with a flick of his wrist, the creature was ripped apart, its pieces flung into the walls like ragdolls. He was unstoppable, a force of pure destruction, cutting through the undead army like a god of war incarnate.
The rest of the undead started backing away.
John laughed. A deep, resonant laugh that made even the walls shudder.
Kaia scrambled to her feet. ¡°John! This isn¡¯t you! You need to fight it!¡±
John turned, smiling at her. His expression was calm. Too calm. ¡°Fight what, Kaia? I feel great.¡±
¡°You made a deal with a demon!¡± she shouted, her voice desperate. ¡°That¡¯s not power¡ªit¡¯s corruption!¡±
John took a step toward her. For a second, Kaia flinched.
Then, something flickered in John¡¯s face. A moment of hesitation. A crack in the perfect confidence.
He knew she was right.
A whisper slithered through his mind.
"Ignore her, John. She''s afraid. She doesn''t understand what we could do together."
John clenched his fists. The power was intoxicating. It was everything Malrikoth had promised. But there was a price, and if he kept going down this road¡
Kaia stepped closer. ¡°Take it off, John. Please.¡±
John hesitated.
The last remaining undead had completely backed off now, watching warily. They sensed the shift in power.
Thorin finally stood, rolling his shoulders. ¡°John,¡± he said carefully. ¡°I¡¯m all for getting stronger, but I gotta say, this whole ¡®eyes of death¡¯ thing you got going on? Not your best look.¡±
John let out a breath. His hands shook slightly. The power still wanted him.
"Don''t listen to them, John." Malrikoth¡¯s voice was silk and poison. "With me, you could be unstoppable. You could win. You could go home."
Home.
His family.
John squeezed his eyes shut
He stood in the vast, empty void of his own mind, face to face with Malrikoth. The demon wore his face but twisted¡ªblack eyes, fine silk clothing, a smirk full of cruel amusement.
John cracked his knuckles. "Alright, thanks for the assist, but I think it¡¯s time for you to go."
Malrikoth threw his head back and laughed. "Oh, John. You still don¡¯t get it, do you?" His voice dripped with condescension. "You lost the second you put that ring on. Your soul is mine now."
John¡¯s expression shifted to terror. He took a shaky step back. "Wait¡ so you¡¯re really going to eat my soul? I¡¯ll never see my family again?"
Malrikoth¡¯s grin widened, his eyes glowing with victory¡ªuntil John started laughing.
The demon¡¯s smirk twitched. "What¡ª"
John pointed at him. "No, bitch. You¡¯re in my domain now."
The endless void around them twisted and shifted, reshaping itself into a dimly lit underground arena, the air thick with the scent of sweat and blood. The floor beneath John¡¯s feet became a red mat, slightly worn from countless battles, its texture rough under his bare soles. All around, shadowy figures filled the stands, an eerie crowd of faceless spectators watching in silence, their murmurs echoing through the space.
John glanced down at himself¡ªhis jeans and Hawaiian shirt were gone, replaced by a pair of loose black fight shorts and a sweat-slicked torso, muscles tense and ready. He looked like he had stepped straight out of Bloodsport, the spitting image of Jean-Claude Van Damme before the final fight. He rolled his shoulders, bouncing lightly on his feet, his stance widening.
If this bastard wanted a fight, John was about to give him one straight out of an ¡®80s action movie.
Malrikoth¡¯s amusement shattered into fury.
"You thought you could worm your way in, feeding off my momentary doubts? Yeah, I¡¯ve got insecurities¡ªwho doesn¡¯t? But you mistook my bravado for an act. I don¡¯t break that easy. It¡¯s not about being stronger; it¡¯s about taking the hits and pushing forward." John grinned. "That¡¯s how winning is done."
Malrikoth scowled. "Did you just¡ªdid you seriously just use a movie quote on me?"
John rolled his shoulders. "Yeah, I did. And now I¡¯m about to fuck you up."
John screams a battle cry and hits Malrikoth with a Flying spin kick to the head.
Outside, John ripped the ring from his finger.
A shockwave of dark energy exploded outward, nearly knocking him to his knees. Shadows shrieked, recoiling into the void. The weight of Malrikoth¡¯s presence vanished in an instant, leaving only silence.
John stood there, panting. His hands were his own again. His eyes no longer burned with unholy light. The ring sat lifeless in his palm.
Kaia and Thorin stared at him warily.
Kaia raised an eyebrow. "Are you¡ you again?"
John slipped the ring into his pocket with a smirk. "Yeah, yeah. Demon tried to take my soul."
Thorin frowned. "And¡?"
John shrugged. "Joke¡¯s on him¡ªI traded that shit away for school cafeteria pizza back in high school."
They stared at him in confusion.
He clapped his hands together. "Alright, let¡¯s go kill Tiffany."
Chapter 24: Lets Kill Tiffany
The massive doors to the throne room groaned as John, Kaia, and Thorin pushed them open. The space beyond was dimly lit, a warped reflection of grandeur twisted by dark magic. Towering columns lined the room, their surfaces crawling with unnatural veins of shadow. At the far end, a grotesque cauldron bubbled with violet energy, tendrils of darkness slithering out like hungry eels searching for prey.
And in the middle of it all, perched lazily on a throne of polished obsidian, was Tiffany.
She clapped her hands together, her wide grin splitting her face. ¡°Oh goodie! The sacrifices brought themselves! That saves me sooo much time.¡±
John let out a dramatic sigh. ¡°Yeah, figured we¡¯d skip the whole ¡®captured and dragged in chains¡¯ part and get right to the stabbing.¡± He tilted his head. ¡°Though, let¡¯s be honest, you would¡¯ve gone for something tacky. Pink manacles? Fluffy handcuffs?¡±
Tiffany gasped. ¡°Excuse you, rose quartz manacles, John. I have taste.¡±
Kaia cut in, gripping her staff. ¡°Enough. Whatever dark magic you¡¯re playing with ends here.¡±
Tiffany rolled her eyes. ¡°Ugh, as if! You losers couldn¡¯t even handle my C-listers, and now you think you can take me?¡± She flipped her hair, gesturing to the warriors surrounding her. ¡°Say hello to my elite knights! Stronger, faster, actually competent¡ªunlike some of my last minions. Looking at you, Greg.¡±
One of the armored figures stiffened. ¡°¡I did my best.¡±
John cracked his neck. ¡°Let¡¯s see how ¡®elite¡¯ they are.¡± He flicked his knife in his grip. **¡°Thorin, smash. Kaia, zap. I¡¯ll do something flashy and stupid.
John barely had time to finish his sentence before the first of Tiffany¡¯s knights lunged. A massive, hulking brute clad in spiked armor swung a two-handed battle-axe straight for his head. John ducked at the last second, feeling the wind from the swing ruffle his hair.
¡°Yikes. Ever heard of subtlety?¡± he quipped, rolling away as the axe embedded itself into the marble floor with a deafening crack.
Thorin met the brute head-on, slamming his shield into his opponent¡¯s chest and driving him backward. The impact was like thunder. The brute staggered, but instead of falling, he let out a distorted, inhuman snarl and pushed back with terrifying force.
Kaia moved fast, raising her staff and whispering an incantation. A bolt of divine energy erupted from its tip, arcing toward another warrior¡ªa lithe woman in a black cloak wielding twin daggers. But instead of dodging, the woman raised a hand. The spell fizzled out mid-air, consumed by some unnatural force.
¡°Oh, that¡¯s just rude.¡± Kaia scowled, already forming another spell.
John darted past the brute and squared off with another knight. This one had a serrated sword pulsing with dark energy. ¡°Neat sword,¡± John said. ¡°Compensating for something?¡±
The knight didn¡¯t respond¡ªjust slashed at him in a blur of motion. John barely managed to sidestep, but the blade still nicked his sleeve, leaving a thin line of heat on his arm.
Great. They weren¡¯t just strong. They were fast.
Tiffany, meanwhile, remained by her cauldron, humming a disgustingly cheerful pop song as if nothing was happening. The room vibrated with raw magic as the ritual intensified. The air smelled of burning sugar and rot. The cauldron¡¯s contents were bubbling violently now, spewing arcs of purple lightning that shattered nearby pillars.
¡°Oh, don¡¯t mind me,¡± Tiffany said, twirling a finger in her hair. ¡°You guys have so much fun down there. I¡¯ll just be over here summoning my ultimate form.¡±
John parried the serrated sword with his knife, but the force behind the knight¡¯s strike nearly sent him flying. He twisted, letting the blade slide off his weapon before ducking under a follow-up attack. The knight fought like a machine¡ªrelentless, precise, and impossibly strong.
¡°Okay, you guys are a little overqualified for evil henchmen.¡± John rolled to the side as another knight, this one wielding a spear crackling with dark energy, thrust at him. He barely avoided getting skewered. ¡°Tiffany, you recruiting from evil LinkedIn or something?¡±
Tiffany giggled as she traced arcane sigils in the air. ¡°Oh, John, you silly little cockroach. You think I just found these guys? Please. I made them. Each one of them used to be, like, normal people. Well, kind of. Now they¡¯re so much better¡ªlike, super buff, ultra-loyal, and totally mute! I mean, some of them could talk before, but I got sooo tired of all the whining.¡±
Thorin roared as he sent one knight crashing into a pillar with a shield bash, but the warrior barely seemed fazed. Kaia was locked in a fierce exchange of magic with the cloaked woman, both launching bolts of energy at each other that collided in mid-air, sending sparks flying.
John, meanwhile, was busy not dying. He darted between two knights, barely avoiding a synchronized attack, before flipping over a toppled throne to gain some distance. His heart pounded. These guys weren¡¯t just strong¡ªthey were practically unstoppable.
¡°We need a new plan,¡± he called out, dodging another attack.
Kaia gritted her teeth as she deflected another magical assault. ¡°You don¡¯t say?!¡±
Thorin, currently grappling with an axe-wielding knight twice his size, growled, ¡°Less talking, more fighting!¡±
Tiffany sighed dramatically. ¡°Ugh, this is taking forever.¡± She flicked a hand, and suddenly, the knights moved even faster. One moment, John was dodging, and the next, he was being slammed against a wall by an unseen force.
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His vision blurred. His ribs hurt. The knight responsible stepped forward, raising its sword for the finishing blow
The cauldron exploded with energy, sending waves of dark magic crashing through the throne room. Tiffany let out an excited squeal. ¡°Oooooh, we¡¯re at the best part!¡±
John struggled to his feet as he took in the horror unfolding before him. The cauldron¡¯s liquid was rising¡ªalive¡ªslithering through the air in thick tendrils, grabbing onto the knights. Instead of resisting, they stood motionless as the magic wrapped around them, pulling them toward the center of the room.
Kaia gasped. ¡°She¡¯s absorbing them.¡±
Tiffany clapped her hands. ¡°Ding ding ding! Someone¡¯s got a brain cell. Yes, I¡¯m taking all their strength. Their skills. Their essence. And once that¡¯s done, I¡¯ll be, like, a god or something. Haven¡¯t decided what I¡¯ll call myself yet¡ªmaybe ¡®Queen Tiffany the Eternal?¡¯ No, too long. Tiffy the Undying? Eh.¡±
The knights dissolved into the swirling energy, their armor clattering to the floor as Tiffany¡¯s form shifted. Her skin darkened to an unnatural obsidian hue, her eyes glowing with violet light. The air hummed with her power.
John exchanged a look with Kaia and Thorin. This was really, really bad.
Tiffany stretched, admiring her transformed hands. ¡°Ooooh, this feels amazing.¡± She grinned at them. ¡°Okay, time for the grand finale. Who wants to be first?¡±
The remaining magic surged toward the three of them, wrapping around their bodies like living chains.
John struggled, but it was strong¡ªan oppressive weight pressing against his limbs. Thorin was cursing in dwarvish, and Kaia was trying to summon a counterspell, but the magic held.
Tiffany skipped toward them, inspecting each of them like she was picking a meal off a menu. ¡°Mmm, let¡¯s see¡ axe boy? Nah, too grumpy. Magic girl? Ehhh, kinda boring. Oooooh, John!¡± She giggled. ¡°You should totally go first.¡±
John forced a smirk. ¡°Just so you know, I''m so totally giving you indigestion.¡±
Tiffany rolled her eyes. ¡°Ugh, you¡¯re so difficult.¡± She snapped her fingers, and the magic dragged him forward, toward the bubbling cauldron.
John¡¯s mind raced. He needed an out. A distraction. Something.
And then, as he was inches from the cauldron¡¯s surface, he blurted out¡ª
¡°Your hair looks stupid.¡±
Everything stopped.
Tiffany froze.
Kaia blinked. ¡°¡What?¡±
Tiffany gasped so loudly it echoed through the chamber. ¡°EXCUSE YOU?!¡± She spun, yanking a hand mirror from somewhere (seriously, where did she even keep that?) and checked her reflection in a panic.
John moved.
The skeletal warrior holding him loosened its grip just enough, and John activated Perfect Evasion. His body flickered, slipping through the grasp of the magic like smoke.
He hit the ground running, reaching into his pocket and pulling out¡ª
The weird whistle.
The one he¡¯d found in that abandoned farmhouse days ago. The one that had never done anything.
He blew it.
The sound was deafening. Not just loud¡ªotherworldly. The entire castle seemed to vibrate with its intensity. Tiffany screamed, covering her ears.
John didn¡¯t waste a second. He lunged forward, dagger flashing¡ª
And drove the blade straight into Tiffany¡¯s stomach.
Tiffany¡¯s eyes widened. ¡°Oh. My. God.¡± She wobbled, looking down at the blade like she couldn¡¯t believe this was happening. ¡°Did you just¡ª?¡±
John didn¡¯t wait for an answer. He shoved her backward¡ª
Right into the cauldron.
The effect was instantaneous. The bubbling liquid erupted like a volcano, sparks of magic bursting out in every direction. The entire throne room shook. Tiffany let out an ear-piercing shriek as the magic devoured her, her form twisting, distorting¡ª
And then the cauldron imploded.
The knights still standing froze in place, their eyes going blank before they crumpled into dust. Kaia and Thorin dropped to the ground as the magical restraints vanished.
John was already running. ¡°MOVE! NOW!¡±
The castle collapsed around them.
They sprinted through the halls, dodging falling debris, the very structure of the place unraveling as Tiffany¡¯s magic spiraled out of control. The air was thick with the scent of burnt ozone and something far worse.
By the time they reached the city streets, chaos had already spread. The twisted, monstrous townsfolk were melting, their corrupted forms dissolving into the cobblestones. The sky itself seemed to be ripping open, streaks of light cutting through the darkness.
They ran.
The explosion came seconds later. Throwing them through the air like 80s action heroes.
John hit the ground hard, the shockwave launching all three of them forward. He rolled, coughing, as debris rained down around them.
For a moment, everything was silent.
Then, as the dust began to settle, John lifted his head¡ª
And saw
John lifted his head, blinking through the settling dust. Where Tiffany¡¯s castle had stood, there was now nothing. Just a massive, smoldering crater surrounded by cracked earth and flickering remnants of purple energy. The twisted spires, the eerie throne room, the grotesque knights¡ªall gone.
He pushed himself up on shaky arms, ribs screaming in protest. ¡°Okay. That sucked.¡±
Kaia groaned from somewhere to his left. ¡°That¡¯s¡ an understatement.¡± She was lying on her back, staring at the sky, her white robes now more of a dirt-streaked gray. ¡°We¡¯re alive. That¡¯s good.¡±
Thorin, ever the resilient one, sat up and spat blood onto the cobblestone. ¡°Barely.¡± He clutched his shield, which had a massive dent in it. ¡°Remind me again why we thought charging into a demon-witch¡¯s castle was a good idea?¡±
John winced as he rolled onto his side, holding his ribs. ¡°Because we¡¯re idiots?¡±
¡°Accurate,¡± Kaia muttered.
They sat there for a moment, catching their breath as the eerie silence of the ruined city settled over them. The sky, once choked with unnatural darkness, was slowly brightening as the remnants of Tiffany¡¯s magic faded. Whatever she had become, whatever twisted reality she had been crafting¡ªit was over.
John glanced at the whistle still clutched in his fingers. The thing looked ordinary enough, but the way it had resonated when he blew it¡ that wasn¡¯t normal.
Kaia must have noticed his expression. ¡°What was that?¡± she asked, sitting up. ¡°That sound¡ªit wasn¡¯t just noise. It changed something.¡±
John frowned, turning the whistle over in his hands. ¡°No idea. I found it days ago. It never did anything before.¡± He tucked it back into his belt. ¡°But I¡¯m thinking it just earned a permanent spot in my ¡®weird magical crap that might save my ass¡¯ collection.¡±
Thorin grunted as he hauled himself to his feet. ¡°We should move. No telling how long this place holds together.¡±
John nodded and turned to take stock of their surroundings. The city ¡ªor what was left of it¡ªwas eerily quiet. The monstrous, corrupted townspeople were gone, either reduced to ash or reclaimed by whatever dark magic had twisted them in the first place. Buildings had collapsed, streets were littered
John scanned the remains of the former necropolis. What had once been a bustling city¡ªeven if twisted by Tiffany¡¯s magic¡ªwas now a graveyard of crumbling buildings and eerie silence. A few fires still flickered in the wreckage, their glow casting long shadows in the dawn¡¯s first light.
¡°So, uh¡ I guess we won?¡± John asked, rubbing the back of his neck.
Kaia stood, brushing dust from her robes. ¡°Victory usually feels less¡ apocalyptic.¡±
Thorin grunted, tightening his grip on his dented shield. ¡°Aye, and less like my ribs are tryin¡¯ to stab my insides.¡±
John sighed, wincing as he stretched. ¡°Same. I¡¯m like one good punch away from turning into a puddle of regret.¡± He took another look at the smoldering crater where the castle had stood. ¡°Think she¡¯s really gone?¡±
Kaia crossed her arms, frowning. ¡°Something that powerful doesn¡¯t just¡ disappear.¡±
Thorin kicked a piece of rubble aside. ¡°If she ain¡¯t dead, she¡¯ll be wishin¡¯ she was after a fall like that.¡±
John stared at the dark pit for a long moment, then shook his head. ¡°Well, if she comes back, I¡¯m definitely ghosintg her crazy ass.¡± He clapped his hands together, immediately regretting it as pain shot through his bruised ribs. ¡°Okay. Step one: not dying. Step two: getting the hell out of here.¡±
John frowned, scanning the ruins. ¡°The people who lived here¡ what happened to them?¡±
Kaia exhaled. ¡°Best guess? They were tied to her magic. When she went down, so did they.¡±
Kaia closed her eyes, whispering a quiet prayer.
Thorin sighed. ¡°Aye. No savin¡¯ them now.¡± He turned, looking toward the city gates. ¡°But we should still get moving before somethin¡¯ else crawls outta this mess.¡±
As they made their way through the ruins, the silence weighed on them. No voices, no birds¡ªjust the occasional creak of collapsing buildings and the whisper of the wind through empty streets.
John spotted something in the rubble¡ªsomething too clean amidst the wreckage. He crouched down and picked it up. A single, small mirror.
A chill ran down his spine.
Tiffany had conjured one just like it before.
His reflection stared back at him, but something about it felt off. He could almost swear that for a fraction of a second¡ªjust barely¡ªhis reflection smirked.
John¡¯s grip tightened, and with a sudden surge of unease, he threw it down and stomped on the mirror.
Just in case.
As they stepped through the shattered gates of a city once called Brightfall, the first rays of morning light broke over the horizon.
John sighed. ¡°Well¡ that was a fun¡±
Kaia smirked, despite everything. ¡°You did save the world.¡±
Thorin grunted. ¡°For now.¡±
John stretched, wincing. ¡°Right. So, breakfast?¡±
Kaia rolled her eyes. ¡°You¡¯re unbelievable.¡±
Thorin chuckled. ¡°Aye. But I wouldn¡¯t have him any other way.¡±
As they walked down the road, leaving the ruins behind, John glanced back one last time. The wind howled through the empty streets, carrying away the last remnants of Tiffany¡¯s reign.
Still, deep down,he had a feeling¡
This wasn¡¯t the last he¡¯d hear of her.
Chapter 25: A Heros Welcome
The goblin village buzzed with energy, torches flickering in the night as the small green warriors scurried about, preparing a feast fit for heroes. At the head of the gathering, sitting on a carved wooden throne, was Chief Rukzar, his elaborate bone headdress swaying as he addressed the gathered crowd.
"You have saved our ancestral lands!" Rukzar¡¯s gravelly voice rang through the village, his sharp-toothed grin wide with gratitude. "Tonight, we feast in your honor!"
John, still sore from the battle, stretched with a groan before smirking. "Hell yeah. I could eat."
The goblins moved with practiced efficiency, roasting meats over open flames, filling wooden mugs with some suspiciously strong ale, and piling plates high with unfamiliar but mouthwatering dishes. As the three adventurers sat at the chief¡¯s table, John recounted their battle against Tiffany in vivid detail, emphasizing her nauseating pink aesthetic.
Kaia wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and nodded. "She was vile. The world¡¯s better off without her."
John raised his mug. "Agreed. That was way too much pink for anyone."
Laughter and cheers erupted from the goblins as they clinked their cups together in approval.
The long wooden tables were covered in food¡ªsimple but hearty dishes that reminded John of something he¡¯d seen in an old documentary about indigenous South American tribes. Large clay pots of thick, steaming stew sat in the center, filled with roasted meat, root vegetables, and wild herbs. Flat, crispy rounds of cornbread-like bread were passed around, along with woven baskets filled with roasted nuts and dried berries.
John picked up a clay bottle of dark liquid and took a sip¡ªimmediately coughing as fire spread down his throat. "Damn, what is this? Goblin whiskey?"
Rukzar let out a cackling laugh, slapping John on the back hard enough to nearly knock the drink from his hands. "Goblins call it Fire Gut! Good for belly, bad for head tomorrow!"
Thorin, already on his second cup, wiped his beard and grinned. "Now this is my kind of feast!" He reached for a platter of unfamiliar meat, chewing thoughtfully before narrowing his eyes. "So¡ what exactly is this?"
A nearby goblin turned to him, puzzled. "It¡¯s boar. Slow-roasted over fire with wild honey glaze."
Thorin nodded, then lowered his voice conspiratorially. "Not¡ children?"
The goblin groaned, throwing up his hands. "Again with this?! NO! Human superstition! Goblins no eat people! You people are weird!"
John nearly choked on his drink laughing, while Kaia just shook her head, muttering, "Unbelievable."
As they ate, goblins performed in the open space before them, dancing wildly to the beat of drums and wooden flutes. Their movements were surprisingly agile, full of twirls, stomps, and flips that defied their stout frames. Others sang deep, throaty songs in a language John didn¡¯t understand but could feel¡ªsongs of ancient battles, lost warriors, and victories over darkness.
A hunched elder goblin, draped in colorful woven fabrics, stepped forward as the crowd hushed. She began to tell a story, her voice rising and falling with the crackling of the fire. She spoke of the village¡¯s ancestors, of spirits that watched over the land, and of ancient evils that had been fought before.
John found himself drawn in, the flickering fire making the old goblin¡¯s eyes glisten as she spun her tale. A thought crossed his mind¡ªone day, would someone tell stories of them? Of the three adventurers who had come to save the goblin lands?
As the night stretched on, the food and drink flowed freely. For the first time in what felt like forever, John let himself relax. The weight of battle, of near-death encounters, of constant danger¡ªit all lifted, if only for a moment.
Kaia sighed contentedly, swirling the last of her drink in her cup. "This is nice. We don¡¯t get many nights like this."
Thorin grunted in agreement, tearing another piece of roasted meat off the bone.
John leaned back, taking it all in¡ªthe laughter, the stories, the warmth of a people finally free from fear. He raised his cup with a grin.
"Yeah. Here¡¯s to more of them."
And with that, they drank deep into the night.
The great feast table was a mess of half-eaten platters, overturned mugs, and discarded bones, but the mood was still lively. Goblins sang, laughed, and clinked their drinks together, celebrating their return to their homeland. Chief Rukzar leaned back in his wooden throne, picking at his sharp teeth with a small bone, his expression one of deep satisfaction.
"In the morning, we begin the move," Rukzar declared, his voice carrying over the crackling of the great fire. "It has been too long since we walked our own lands without fear. We will rebuild. Stronger than before."
John nodded, glancing out beyond the village where the scarred land was already starting to recover. The creeping blight that had corrupted the ground was receding, leaving behind patches of green where there had once been only rot.
"It looks like the land is healing," John admitted. "But it¡¯s gonna be a lot of work, especially since¡ well, I kinda blew up an entire city in the process."
Rukzar threw his head back and let out a roaring laugh, his bone headdress shaking. The goblins around the table grinned, some chuckling as well.
"Hah! Work is no fear to goblins!" the chief said proudly, pounding a fist against his chest. "We are builders, survivors! And besides..." He waggled his bushy eyebrows and leaned forward. "Goblins make babies fast."
Thorin, mid-drink, sputtered into his mug and coughed. Kaia just sighed, shaking her head.
"Well, that¡¯s one way to repopulate," John said, trying not to laugh. "Glad you¡¯ve got a plan."
Rukzar grinned. "The land will be ours again. What about you, human? What is next for John the Mad?"
John smirked at the nickname but leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "We¡¯re heading to a dungeon next. I need to get my hands on these things called ¡®seals.¡¯ If I collect enough of them, I can enter a big tournament where the winner gets a wish granted." His smirk faded slightly, his voice turning more serious. "That¡¯s my ticket home."
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The goblin chief studied him for a moment, his grin fading just a bit. Then he nodded solemnly. "A great journey still ahead. But you are strong, and luck follows those who make their own fate." He lifted his mug, raising it toward John.
"To the mad human and his path home!"
The goblins echoed the toast, banging mugs on the table and cheering. John clinked his cup against Rukzar¡¯s, downing the last of the fiery drink with a grin.
"To the goblins and their new home," he said in return.
Later, bellies full and pleasantly buzzed, the trio was led to a guest hut at the edge of the village. Inside, soft furs covered the wooden floor, and the glow of a small fire cast warm shadows on the walls. As they settled in, the air grew heavier with the weight of unfinished business.
"So¡ you think that¡¯s the last we¡¯ll see of Tiffany and her dad?" John asked, lying back with his hands behind his head.
Kaia frowned, her fingers toying with the edge of her cloak. "No. We¡¯re not done with them. Something tells me they have a role in all of this¡ªmaybe even something to do with the Grandfather¡¯s disappearance."
Thorin grunted, stretching out with a tired sigh. "I¡¯m sick of mysteries. Give me a sword, an enemy, and a good fight. That¡¯s all I want."
John chuckled. "I agree, Scooby."
Thorin shot him a look, but John just grinned. Kaia rolled her eyes and pulled her blanket up, ignoring the bait.
As the fire crackled softly, John stared at the ceiling, a wave of exhaustion finally washing over him. He still couldn¡¯t believe they pulled that off. There were a few moments where things got real sketchy. But they made it.
And now, back to Bjornfell for a little rest before the next challenge¡ªthe dungeon.
He exhaled, shaking his head. "Man, not long ago, I was working retail¡ now I¡¯m killing necromancers."
A quiet chuckle escaped him before his eyes drifted shut.
The morning sun cast golden light over the goblin village as John, Kaia, and Thorin packed up their things, stretching out sore muscles from the battle and the night of feasting. The goblins were already busy, loading up supplies and preparing for their journey back to their ancestral home. The atmosphere was buzzing with excitement, their chatter filled with plans to rebuild, to reclaim what was once theirs.
The goblin chief approached, bowing his head in gratitude. "You have done us a great honor. Our people will sing of your deeds for generations."
John smirked. "Just make sure my verse is the best one."
With final goodbyes exchanged, the trio left the village behind, stepping onto the well-worn path back to Bjornfell. The morning air was crisp, and for the first time in what felt like forever, they weren¡¯t trudging through it under the weight of impending doom.
Kaia inhaled deeply, exhaling with a content sigh. "It feels¡ lighter, doesn¡¯t it? Like the whole world isn¡¯t pressing down on us anymore."
John stretched, rolling his shoulders. "Yeah, like the sun¡¯s a little brighter, the birds are a little chirpier, and I definitely smell less death in the air. It¡¯s an improvement."
Kaia smiled, then glanced at John thoughtfully. "Now that we¡¯ve handled Tiffany, we can focus on getting you to level ten. Once you¡¯re there, we can head for the dungeon."
John grinned, the kind of smug, self-satisfied grin that made Kaia immediately suspicious.
"Oh, I already am."
Kaia blinked. "What?"
John gestured dramatically. "It¡¯s been a chaotic week, but that last battle with Tiffany did it. I hit level ten."
Thorin raised an eyebrow. "That quick?"
John shrugged. "Guess I¡¯m just built different."
Kaia folded her arms, giving him a scrutinizing look. "And you conveniently forgot to mention
it until now?"
John laughed, holding up his hands. "Hey, I figured I¡¯d let you have your little moment of planning before I dropped the big reveal. Besides, I wanted to see the look on your face."
Kaia rolled her eyes but couldn¡¯t hide the hint of a smile. "Fine. Then that means we¡¯re ready to go to the dungeon."
"Technically, yeah," John said, stretching his arms behind his head. "But let¡¯s be real. This week¡¯s been rough. I think we could all use a little downtime before diving headfirst into another nightmare."
Thorin grunted in agreement. "Food first. Ale second. Then we talk about dungeons."
Kaia exhaled, nodding. "Alright, I won¡¯t argue. We do need to prepare. The dungeon won¡¯t be forgiving if we rush in unready."
"Exactly," John said. "I mean, I just fought a necromancer, battled an army of the undead, and nearly got soul-snatched by an evil ring demon. I think I¡¯ve earned a hot meal and a soft bed."
The group continued walking, the road to Bjornfell stretching ahead. It felt different now. The weight that had been pressing down on them since John first stepped into this world had lifted, even if just for a moment.
They reached the outskirts of Bjornfell by late afternoon. The town was just as they left it¡ªbustling with travelers, merchants, and adventurers looking for work. The familiar sight of the tavern came into view, and John nearly sighed in relief.
"Alright," John said. "First order of business: food. Second order of business: beer. Third order of business: so much sleep."
"And after that?" Kaia asked.
John smirked. "Then we talk dungeons."
Thorin pushed open the tavern door, and the warm, welcoming scent of roasted meat and fresh bread greeted them. John grinned. For the first time in what felt like forever, he wasn¡¯t stepping into a fight¡ªjust a well-earned meal.
And he was damn well going to enjoy it.
***
The tavern in Bjornfell was lively that evening, packed with traders, mercenaries, and townsfolk looking to escape the troubles of the world with strong drink and warm company. Laughter and the clatter of mugs on wooden tables filled the air, blending with the flickering glow of the hearth. The scent of roasted meat and ale hung thick, comforting after the chaos of the past days.
At a corner table near the fire, John, Kaia, and Thorin sat with full plates and overflowing mugs, basking in the warmth of victory.
"¡ªAnd then she actually had the nerve to say ¡®Daddy¡¯s going to be so mad at you!¡¯ like that was gonna stop me!" John laughed, shaking his head. "I swear, that was the most ridiculous fight of my life."
Thorin chuckled, raising his mug. "Ridiculous or not, she nearly took your head off with that pink fire nonsense." He took a deep swig. "Still, that was a good fight. Been too long since I got to smash something proper."
Kaia smirked. "You two are impossible." She took a sip of her drink. "But at least it¡¯s over. Tiffany¡¯s gone, the goblins are safe, and now we can focus on what¡¯s next."
John leaned back in his chair, swirling his mug. "The dungeon." He grinned. "I can¡¯t wait to see what kind of loot¡¯s in there."
Across the tavern, in the shadows of the farthest corner, a cloaked figure sat in silence, watching them with keen interest. His face remained hidden beneath the hood, but the gleam of his eyes followed their every move. He sat with an air of confidence, perfectly still, save for the idle motion of one gloved finger tracing the rim of his goblet.
A serving wench approached, offering a wide smile. "Evening, stranger! Can I get you something?"
His voice was smooth, measured. "A bottle of your finest wine." He placed a few coins on the table, more than enough to cover it.
Her smile brightened at the generous payment. "Of course! You new in town?"
He nodded slightly, giving no more than necessary. "Passing through. But I hear there¡¯s been some excitement recently."
The woman was all too eager to chat, resting a hand on her hip as she leaned in. "Oh, you must mean those three over there!" She gestured toward John and his companions. "Saved a whole goblin village from an evil necromancer, they did! Everyone¡¯s talking about it. Nasty piece of work, that necromancer, but they took her down."
The cloaked man tilted his head slightly. "Fascinating. And what¡¯s next for our heroes?"
The wench giggled. "They¡¯re off to that dungeon in the mountains soon. Can¡¯t imagine why¡ªthey only just got back! But, adventurers will be adventurers, I suppose."
He exhaled a pleased sigh and slid a gold coin across the table. "Thank you. That¡¯s most helpful."
Her eyes widened at the tip, and she tucked the coin into her apron with a cheerful grin before hurrying off to fetch his wine.
Alone once more, the man lifted his goblet and took a slow sip, savoring the rich taste. His gaze returned to John, watching the rogue with a predatory gleam in his eye.
He set his goblet down, fingers tapping idly against the table.
"A dungeon, is it?" he murmured, a malicious smile creeping onto his lips.
"How perfect."
Chapter 26: Preparations For The Dungeon
The morning sun streamed through the windows of the tavern¡¯s common room, casting warm light over the worn wooden floors. The scent of fresh bread and sizzling meat filled the air as John, Kaia, and Thorin gathered around a table, going over their plan for the day.
John sat down and poured himself a cuppa wakeroot. Taking a sip, he let the delicious warmth wash over him. It was not by any means coffee, but this otherworldly brew was really growing on him. Could he steal the Starbucks business model and open a chain of Wakeroot brew shops and become a billionaire?
Noticing Kaia and Thorin staring at him, he put down his mug.
¡°Alright,¡± John said, stretching his arms over his head. ¡°Before we go diving into some dark, monster-infested death trap, we need to stock up.¡±
Kaia nodded. ¡°We¡¯ve got a lot to handle today¡ªselling off what we don¡¯t need, sharpening weapons, buying supplies, potions, food¡¡±
¡°Don¡¯t forget armor,¡± Thorin grunted. ¡°Dungeons have traps, and I¡¯d rather not be skewered ¡®cause I didn¡¯t think ahead.¡±
"If this is anything like video games back home, any armor you buy in town will be vastly inferior to the stuff we casually find in the dungeon," John said
With huge eyes, Thorin asked, " You think there will be good armor in the dungeon?"
With a smile, John said, "Oh trust me, homeskillet there will be the best armor and weapons in there."
"I can''t wait to get in there and start fighting," Thorin said excitedly.
John grinned. ¡° Alright, first stop¡ªthe trader. Time to turn our trash into treasure.¡±
$$$
The trader¡¯s shop was a cluttered space filled with crates, sacks, and an overwhelming mix of scents¡ªdried herbs, leather, and something vaguely metallic. The shopkeeper, a thin man with a sharp nose and sharper eyes, gave them an appraising look as they entered.
John walked up to the counter, set his tiny black
lunch bag down, and smirked. ¡°You might want to clear some space.¡±
The trader raised an eyebrow as John reached into the bag.
And pulled out a sword.
Then another.
And another.
And a shield.
A helmet.
A bundle of goblin-crafted knives.
A necromancer¡¯s amulet.
A stack of bloodstained robes.
The pile grew until the trader looked like he was questioning reality itself. ¡°Where¡ where were you keeping all that?¡±
John winked. ¡°Trade secret.¡±
"Is that little bag for sale?" The trader asked with amazement in his eyes.
"Nope, this is a treasured gift from my wife, and I would fight an army of undead all over again to keep it," John said with a smile that didn''t reach his eyes. ''
The trader stepped back and got to work appraising everything.
"Ok, Mr. Bradford, I can give you twenty gold for the lot," The Trader said
John looked as though he had just taken a barrage of arrows.
"Clearly, you seek to dishonor me and my ancestors with such a low bid. Did I somehow cause you offence?" John said in a hurt tone. "Let''s correct this What did you say your name was?"
" My name is Roland Draymoor, and I certainly didn''t mean to offend you, good sir. I made quite the honorable offer for such a brave hero," Roland the trader said.
"Roland good sir a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Surely you must have a buddy to bring down for a second opinion on this top-rated gear. I couldn''t possibly take less than fifty gold pieces for this massive pile of quality gear." John replied.
A look of stunned surprise momentarily passed Roland''s face. "Fifty gold! Now who is being dishonored, the most I could possibly do would be twenty five gold"
Smiling, John said, "Twenty-five gold for this rare loot from an undead horde controlled by the vilest of necromancers? I could possibly let it go for forty-five gold ''cause I like your name."
The trader smiled, obviously in his element. " Look, the best I can do is thirty gold and only because you are such a great hero and saved the world."
John made a characteristic face his wife often made fun of. His "yeah, ok" face with raised eyebrows and an inverted grin and said, "I believe we have ourselves a deal."
Kaia and Thorin chuckled as the trader grumbled. The group walked out significantly richer, their coin purses jingling with gold. John was treated with a ding and a notification
New Skill [Haggling]
***
The forge was alive with heat and sound, the rhythmic clang of hammer on metal reverberating through the stone-walled workshop. Sparks flared in the dim light as the blacksmith worked, his massive arms flexing with each strike. His face was lined with soot, his apron scarred from years of labor.
John, Kaia, and Thorin stepped inside, the scent of hot iron and burning coal filling their noses. The blacksmith barely spared them a glance before letting out a grunt. ¡°You again.¡±
Thorin unslung his axe, setting it on the counter with a heavy thunk. ¡°Needs sharpening. Maybe reinforce the handle while you¡¯re at it.¡±
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Kaia handed over her dagger and staff, her fingers brushing away some grime from the blade. ¡°Just a tune-up on these.¡±
John slid his weapons across the counter. His knife and his dagger¡ªeach one bore signs of heavy use. ¡°Do whatever magic you do. I¡¯d rather not have a blade snap mid-fight.¡±
The blacksmith picked up John¡¯s dagger, turning it over in his calloused hands. ¡°You put this through hell,¡± he muttered.
John shrugged. ¡°It¡¯s been a long couple of days.¡±
The smith gave him a long, unimpressed look before grunting. ¡°I can have all this ready by sundown. Any special requests?¡±
Thorin leaned on the counter, his eyes gleaming. ¡°Anything new in stock? Something with a bit of weight to it?¡±
The blacksmith stroked his beard. ¡°Got a fresh batch of dwarven steel in. Expensive, but worth it.¡±
Thorin¡¯s fingers twitched, tempted, but he hesitated. ¡°Maybe next time.¡±
John chuckled. ¡°Dwarven steel¡¯s nice, but I like gold more. And I¡¯d like to keep some of mine.¡±
The blacksmith let out a raspy chuckle. ¡°Suit yourself.¡±
Kaia looked between them. ¡°We¡¯ll be back before we leave town.¡±
The blacksmith nodded and waved them off, already turning toward the grindstone to begin work on their weapons.
John clapped his hands together. ¡°Alright, next stop¡ªthe tailor.¡±
***
As John stepped into the tailor¡¯s shop, he took one look at the man behind the counter and nearly burst out laughing. The tailor was a well-groomed man with a neatly trimmed beard and slicked-back hair, dressed in an immaculate white shirt with the sleeves rolled up. The resemblance was uncanny.
John nudged Kaia with his elbow. ¡°Holy hell, I just walked into a medieval episode of Miami Vice¡ªthis guy¡¯s one cheesy white suit away from being Don Johnson.¡±
The tailor, oblivious to the reference but catching John¡¯s amused tone, raised an eyebrow. ¡°I assume that¡¯s a compliment?¡±
John grinned. ¡°Only if you¡¯ve got some designer threads that¡¯ll keep me looking sharp while I skulk around in the shadows.¡±
John browsed the fabrics, eventually finding a roll of sleek black cloth that caught his eye. ¡°What¡¯s this?¡±
The tailor lifted the material and let it drape over his arm. ¡°Shadowweave. Light as silk, strong as chainmail, and muffles sound when you move. It¡¯s not cheap, but it¡¯s perfect for someone who values stealth.¡±
John whistled. ¡°Buddy, you had me at muffles sound.¡±
As the tailor cut the fabric, John glanced around the shop and noticed a framed picture on the table behind the counter. His heart nearly stopped.
The woman in the photo looked almost exactly like his wife¡ªwith the same sharp features and the same warm smile¡ªbut with deep brown hair instead of blonde.
The tailor followed his gaze, picking up the picture with a fond smile. ¡°My daughter.¡±
John swallowed, staring at the image. ¡°She looks just like¡¡± He trailed off, shaking his head. ¡°Never mind. Just¡ she looks familiar.¡±
The tailor studied him curiously but said nothing. After finishing the transaction, John left the shop deep in thought.
***
The group wove through the bustling marketplace, the air thick with the scent of sizzling meats, spiced breads, and the tang of fermented drinks. Stalls lined the streets, merchants calling out their wares while townsfolk haggled over prices. The trio stopped at a particularly busy open-air stall that boasted one of Bjornfell¡¯s specialties¡ªroast thornbeast.
The vendor, a burly man with a singed apron and a missing eyebrow (likely a casualty of his own cooking), turned a spit over a roaring fire. The thornbeast¡ªa massive, tusked creature John had never seen before¡ªwas marinated in a rich, citrusy sauce, its skin crackling as fat dripped into the flames below. The smell was intoxicating.
¡°You¡¯re in for a treat,¡± Kaia said as she handed John a thick slice of rustic bread piled high with shredded meat.
John took a bite and groaned in delight. ¡°Oh, hell yes. I could live off this.¡± The smoky, slightly charred edges melted in his mouth, the tangy marinade giving just enough bite to make his taste buds dance.
Kaia smirked. ¡°It is good.¡±
Thorin, already halfway through his second helping, merely grunted in agreement, his beard glistening with juices. He gestured to the vendor for another portion, swallowing hard before adding, ¡°Best thing I¡¯ve had in weeks. Maybe ever.¡±
The vendor chuckled, slicing off another hunk of meat. ¡°That¡¯s because thornbeast¡¯s got the perfect balance of tenderness and flavor. Hard to catch, harder to kill, but damn worth it when you do.¡±
John wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, nodding. ¡°Tastes like if brisket and pork had a baby, then raised it on pure, unfiltered badassery.¡±
The vendor laughed, handing over another portion to Thorin. ¡°That¡¯s one way to put it.¡±
The three of them found a wooden bench nearby and sat, eating in comfortable silence. The market bustled around them¡ªmerchants bartering, children darting between stalls, and the occasional street performer drawing a small crowd. For the first time in a while, things felt¡ normal.
John leaned back, rolling his shoulders. The soreness from the past battles lingered, but the weight of everything else¡ªthe fights, the near-deaths, the chaos¡ªfelt a little lighter in the warm afternoon sun. He let himself relax, even if just for a moment.
But as he chewed the last of his meal, his mind drifted back to the tailor¡¯s shop. More specifically, to the picture behind the counter. The tailor¡¯s daughter.
She looked just like his wife¡ªsame delicate features, same sharp eyes¡ªexcept for the rich brown hair in place of blonde. It was uncanny. Impossible. And yet¡
He exhaled slowly, staring down at the wooden plate in his hands.
Kaia caught the change in his expression. ¡°Something wrong?¡±
John hesitated, then shook his head. ¡°Just thinking.¡±
Thorin snorted. ¡°Dangerous pastime.¡±
John smirked, but the thought still gnawed at him. He didn¡¯t believe in coincidences, not in a world where gods played games and people got dragged into fantasy realms. He¡¯d have to follow up on it later.
For now, he let it go. He had a dungeon to prepare for.
¡°Alright,¡± he said, standing up and stretching. ¡°Let¡¯s go get some potions before Thorin eats the entire market.¡±
Thorin grinned but didn¡¯t deny it.
Kaia chuckled, tossing her scraps into a bin. ¡°Lead the way.¡±
With their stomachs full and spirits lighter, the trio set off toward their next stop.
***
With full stomachs and renewed energy, the trio moved through Bjornfell¡¯s market district, gathering the last of their supplies. The potion vendor, a wiry old man with a long white beard and a missing finger, eyed them with a knowing grin.
¡°Stocking up for trouble, are we?¡± he asked, already reaching for glass vials filled with shimmering liquid.
John smirked. ¡°Aren¡¯t we always?¡±
The vendor chuckled and lined up their purchases¡ªa mix of healing potions, antidotes, and a small pouch of bitter-smelling herbal salves. Kaia inspected the potions carefully, holding them up to the light.
¡°These should hold,¡± she said, nodding. ¡°Though, let¡¯s hope we don¡¯t need them all at once.¡±
Thorin grunted as he hoisted a freshly packed satchel over his shoulder. ¡°Hope¡¯s nice. I prefer preparation.¡±
John clapped him on the back. ¡°That¡¯s why we love you, big guy. Always ready for a worst-case scenario.¡±
After securing enough provisions for several nights of camping¡ªdried meats, travel bread, and some questionable-looking cheese¡ªthey made their way back toward the blacksmith. By the time they arrived, the forge was still glowing, the air thick with the scent of hot metal and burning coal. The smith, now wiping sweat from his soot-covered brow, greeted them with a nod.
¡°Your gear¡¯s ready,¡± he grunted, motioning to the weapons laid out on a thick wooden workbench.
John reached for his daggers first, running a hand over the freshly polished steel. The edges gleamed wickedly in the dim light. He gave them a few experimental spins in his hands, feeling their weight.
¡°Oh yeah,¡± he said, a satisfied grin spreading across his face. ¡°These are gonna do some damage.¡±
Kaia inspected her staff, noting the reinforced grip and the faint runic etchings now carved into its surface. ¡°Good work,¡± she said, giving the blacksmith an approving nod.
Thorin took his axe, running his thumb along the newly sharpened edge. ¡°You reinforced the handle, yeah?¡±
The blacksmith snorted. ¡°Aye. Wrapped it in iron bands. You¡¯d have to be swinging at a mountain to break it now.¡±
Thorin tested the weight in his hands, then gave an approving grunt. ¡°Good. Maybe I¡¯ll find a mountain to swing at.¡±
The blacksmith chuckled and leaned against his anvil. ¡°So, what¡¯s next for you lot? You off to cause more trouble?¡±
John sheathed his daggers and exchanged a look with Kaia and Thorin. ¡°Something like that. We¡¯ve got a dungeon to clear, some seals to collect, and a tournament to win.¡±
The blacksmith raised an eyebrow. ¡°Tournament, eh? Big stakes?¡±
John exhaled slowly. ¡°Biggest there are. If I win, I get to go home.¡±
The blacksmith studied him for a moment before nodding. ¡°Then you best not lose.¡±
John smirked. ¡°That¡¯s the plan.¡±
Kaia adjusted the strap on her bag. ¡°Everything¡¯s set.¡±
Thorin stretched, rolling his shoulders. ¡°Then let¡¯s get back to the inn. We head for the dungeon at dawn.¡±
With their weapons reforged and their packs full, the trio made their way through the torch-lit streets of Bjornfell, ready for whatever awaited them in the depths.
Chapter 27: Enter The Dungeon
The common room of the inn was quiet in the early morning, the only sounds coming from a few half-asleep patrons nursing last night¡¯s regrets over watered-down ale. A fire crackled low in the hearth, casting flickering shadows across the wooden walls.
John, Kaia, and Thorin stood near the entrance, their packs strapped tight and weapons secured. The weight of their supplies was familiar now, a constant reminder that their journey was far from over.
John pulled open his Lunch Bag of Holding, rummaging through its impossible depths before pulling out a strange, bright-orange flask. The thing was squat and ugly, like it had been designed by someone who had never actually seen a proper drinking vessel before.
Kaia raised an eyebrow. ¡°What in the hells is that?¡±
John unscrewed the cap, filling the flask with Wakeroot Brew from a clay jug on the counter. The sharp, herbal scent wafted up, burning Kaia¡¯s nose.
¡°My to-go cup,¡± John said matter-of-factly.
Thorin frowned. ¡°You chose that color?¡±
John took a deep sip and smacked his lips. ¡°This is a perfectly fine color. Orange is close to red and that''s my favorite color.¡±
Kaia smelled deeply of the rich aroma. ¡°You really came around to wakeroot brew. You hated it at first. It''s not as good as "Cow Fee...?¡±
"Coffee" John corrected " And no it''s not but when in Rome..."
"This is Bjornfell John" Thorin said
John shrugged. ¡°If we¡¯re not eating breakfast before we leave, I need my caffeine. This bad boy keeps it hot, too.¡± He shook the flask with a grin.
They stepped out into the crisp morning air, the sky just beginning to lighten with the first hints of dawn. Bjornfell was waking up, and as they walked through the winding streets, villagers took notice.
People waved and called out to them as they passed.
¡°Good luck in the dungeon!¡±
¡°Come back in one piece!¡±
¡°Try not to set anything on fire this time!¡±
John put a hand over his heart. ¡°That was one time.¡±
Thorin snorted. ¡°One time here.¡±
Kaia shook her head. ¡°It¡¯s nice, though. To leave a place on good terms.¡±
They passed through the final stretch of Bjornfell, the great wooden gates looming ahead. The guards gave them nods of respect, stepping aside as they neared.
John turned, looking back at the town one last time. ¡°Alright. Last chance to back out and become turnip farmers instead.¡±
Kaia smirked. ¡°Tempting, but no.¡±
Thorin cracked his knuckles. ¡°Not enough fighting in turnips.¡±
John sighed. ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s what I thought.¡± He took another long sip from his ridiculous orange flask.
The gates creaked open, and they stepped beyond the walls, the open road stretching before them.
But they weren¡¯t the only ones watching.
From the shadows of an alley near the gate, a figure sat astride a dark warhorse. The beast¡¯s coat was pitch-black, its eyes gleaming like coals in the dim morning light. The rider¡ªcloaked in midnight leathers, his face obscured beneath a hood of shadowed fabric¡ªwatched the trio go.
The hooded man''s gaze followed them, silent, unmoving.
Then, without a sound, he turned his horse and disappeared.
***
The morning sun bathed Bjornfell in golden light as John, Kaia, and Thorin stepped onto the well-worn road leading out of town. Their packs were full, their spirits high, and for the first time in days, the weight of survival didn¡¯t press so heavily on their shoulders. The goblin feast had been a well-earned reprieve, and now, they had a new challenge ahead¡ªthe ruins where the dungeon entrance was rumored to be.
According to the maps, the journey would take two days on foot through rolling hills and sparse forests. The air was crisp, and the scent of damp earth lingered from the morning dew. Birds flitted through the branches, and for a while, the only sound was the rhythmic crunch of boots against dirt.
After a stretch of silence, Thorin turned to John, curiosity in his deep voice. "So, what¡¯s level ten like?"
John smirked, raising his hand and summoning his stat screen with a casual flick of his fingers. The glowing interface appeared in the air before him, filled with numbers and symbols that only he could read.
"Let¡¯s see¡" he mused, scanning his stats. "I got some nice upgrades. First off, Shadow Step¡ªlets me move real damn fast in short bursts, like stepping between the flickers of a candle." He grinned. "It¡¯s not quite teleporting, but in a fight? It''s gonna feel like it."
Kaia raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "That sounds¡ unsettling."
"That¡¯s the idea," John said. "Then there''s Rogue¡¯s Reversal¡ªbasically, if I dodge an attack cleanly, I can hit right back before they even realize they missed. Think of it as turning defense into offense."
Thorin let out a low whistle. "That¡¯s deadly."
John nodded. "And Enhanced Stealth¡ªI was already sneaky, but now? Shadows love me. I can blend in like I¡¯m part of the scenery. Even running, I barely make a sound. Not bad, right?"
Kaia and Thorin exchanged impressed glances.
"You¡¯re becoming quite the force," Kaia admitted. "With skills like that, you¡¯ll be even harder to pin down in a fight."
Thorin chuckled. "Aye, but let¡¯s see how well that ¡®Shadow Step¡¯ works when you¡¯ve got a battle-axe swinging at your head."
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John smirked. "You offering to help me test it, big guy?"
Thorin just laughed, shaking his head. "Not today. We¡¯ve got a dungeon to find."
With that, they pressed forward, excitement buzzing in the air. The road ahead stretched toward adventure, and for the first time in a long while, it felt like they were exactly where they were supposed to be.
***
The road to the dungeon wound through rolling hills and sparse woodland, the morning light filtering through the trees in golden patches. Birds called overhead, and the crisp air carried the scent of damp earth and pine. It was peaceful¡ªtoo peaceful.
John felt the shift first, that telltale prickle at the back of his neck. He raised a hand, signaling the others to stop.
A rustling in the underbrush.
Then a low growl.
A pack of gnolls emerged from the trees, their hyena-like faces twisted into snarls. Their fur was mangy, their crude weapons little more than rusted blades and splintered clubs. Five of them. Not much of a threat.
John cocked his head, glancing at their levels through his interface. Low. Really low.
He exhaled, disappointed. ¡°These guys aren¡¯t even worth the effort.¡±
Thorin rolled his shoulders. ¡°So? Let¡¯s just cut ¡®em down and move on.¡±
John held up a hand. ¡°Actually¡ I wanna try something.¡±
He drew his blades, twin daggers gleaming in the morning light, and took a steadying breath. His new skill was still untested in real combat. He¡¯d had yet to train with it. This was a live-fire exercise he needed.
The gnolls hesitated for a moment, confused by his confidence.
Then, John vanished.
A flicker of darkness¡ªhe reappeared behind the first gnoll.
Before the beast could even register what happened, John drove both daggers into its back. The gnoll let out a choked yelp, crumpling forward¡ªbut before it even hit the ground, John was gone again.
He shadow-stepped behind the second gnoll, his blades flashing. A quick slash across the throat, and the creature collapsed.
The remaining gnolls howled in alarm.
One lunged, slashing wildly with a jagged blade.
John twisted at the last second, dodging just past the edge of the weapon¡ªso close he could feel the wind off the swing¡ªbefore driving his dagger straight into the gnoll¡¯s ribs. The creature gurgled and fell.
Another shadow-step.
Another kill.
Finally, three gnolls remained, and they were pissed.
They rushed him all at once, weapons swinging in a flurry of wild attacks.
John moved like smoke, his body twisting and weaving through the barrage. He wasn¡¯t just dodging¡ªhe was predicting, anticipating, countering. Every missed strike left a gnoll open, and for each failed attack, he landed a precise, brutal counter.
Dodge. Stab. Twist. Step. Slash.
The final gnoll let out a guttural snarl, raising its rusted axe for a desperate, clumsy strike.
John sidestepped, flipping his dagger into a reverse grip¡ªand as the axe came down, he thrust his blade up, right through the gnoll¡¯s chest.
The beast staggered, twitched, then fell.
Silence settled over the clearing.
John stood amidst the fallen gnolls, completely unharmed.
Kaia and Thorin stared.
¡°¡Holy hells,¡± Kaia muttered. ¡°That was incredible.¡±
Thorin folded his arms, nodding in approval. ¡°Never seen you move like that before.¡±
John flicked the blood off his blades and sheathed them, flashing a cocky grin. ¡°Eh. They were low level. Fighting them was like kicking over a nursery.¡± He stretched, rolling his shoulders. ¡°But damn, that felt good. Pappa likes.¡±
Kaia groaned. ¡°Never say that again.¡±
Thorin laughed. ¡°Agreed.¡±
John just smirked and crouched to loot the bodies. The gnolls didn¡¯t have much¡ªsome coin, a few ragged trinkets, and a rusty dagger that might be worth something if cleaned up.
Once they finished, they pressed on toward the dungeon, John feeling lighter, faster, stronger.
This was just the beginning.
***
The forest thinned out as they crested a rocky hill, revealing the ruins sprawled below¡ªa crumbling skeleton of an ancient fortress, its weathered stone walls half-swallowed by nature. Vines coiled around broken columns, and moss blanketed shattered archways. Time had not been kind to this place. Broken statues, their faces worn smooth by wind and rain, lined what had once been a grand courtyard, now overgrown with weeds. A rusted iron gate, barely hanging on its hinges, swayed slightly in the breeze, creaking like a whisper from the past.
John let out a low whistle. ¡°Well, this screams ¡®ominous death trap.¡¯¡±
Kaia adjusted her pack, scanning the ruins with a wary eye. ¡°This is definitely the place?¡±
Thorin nodded. ¡°Has to be. Old ruins, out in the middle of nowhere? Classic dungeon setup.¡±
John smirked. ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s got that whole ¡®Indiana Jones meets Dark Souls¡¯ aesthetic.¡± He pointed at a half-collapsed tower with jagged edges, its foundation split as if struck by a giant¡¯s hammer. ¡°Bet there¡¯s a pressure plate somewhere just waiting to drop us into a pit of spikes.¡±
Kaia sighed, stepping carefully over a pile of loose stone. ¡°Why do you know so much about traps?¡±
John shrugged. ¡°Because someone¡¯s gotta be the guy who warns the party before we all die horribly.¡± He hopped down onto a mossy slab, testing its stability. ¡°Alright, let¡¯s split up and find the entrance. My money¡¯s on a big ominous door or a creepy staircase leading underground.¡±
They spread out, carefully navigating through the ruins. Thorin shoved aside a collapsed beam, grunting as dust billowed up in a thick cloud. He coughed. ¡°Remind me why we couldn¡¯t pick an easier dungeon?¡±
Kaia ran her fingers over the worn carvings on a standing pillar, tracing the faded symbols. ¡°This place is old, but some of the markings still hold magic. The dungeon here is ancient.¡±
John peered into what had once been a grand hallway, now little more than rubble-strewn ruins. ¡°So¡ spooky ancient magic, lots of traps, potential treasure.¡± He nodded to himself. ¡°Yup. This is definitely how people die in horror movies.¡±
Kaia rolled her eyes. ¡°Would it kill you to be serious for five minutes?¡±
John grinned. ¡°Maybe. But where¡¯s the fun in that?¡±
Thorin, now at the base of a toppled column, ran a hand along a thick tangle of roots. ¡°Hold on¡ªthis looks different.¡± He crouched, brushing away the dirt to reveal smooth stone beneath. ¡°Found something!¡±
John and Kaia hurried over. Beneath the tangled roots lay a massive stone slab, partially buried in earth and debris. Deep, weathered carvings covered its surface, some of them faintly glowing beneath layers of grime. A chill lingered in the air around it, as if the stone itself held a memory of something long forgotten.
John cracked his knuckles. ¡°Alright, let¡¯s crack this bad boy open. And if a giant rolling boulder tries to kill us?¡± He smirked. ¡°I call dibs on saying ¡®I told you so.¡¯¡±
The entrance to the vault stood cold and silent, half-buried beneath curling vines and moss. The stone door, circular and ancient, was carved with strange runes spiraling inward to a small keyhole-like indentation at the center.
Thorin squinted at the symbols. "Doesn¡¯t look like anything I recognize. Not dwarven. Not elven."
Kaia knelt, running her fingers along the outer ring. "It¡¯s adventurer script¡ I think. But some of it seems¡ odd."
John scratched his head, tilting his head sideways to examine the symbols. "I know this¡ hold on. This is¡ªwait¡ªis that Latin?"
Kaia blinked at him. "Latin?"
"Yeah. Old Earth language. Scholars love to throw it around to sound fancy. I read Harry Potter, so basically, I''m fluent..." John knelt down, eyes narrowing as he slowly traced the inscription aloud. "Let¡¯s see¡ For those who seek entrance¡" He paused, struggling over a longer phrase. "¡something about proving yourself¡"
Kaia leaned in, curious. "What does it say?"
John stopped dead, squinting at the final part of the phrase. His lips twitched. "For those who wish to enter¡ you must have¡ big balls?"
Thorin frowned. "What?"
John stared at the stone, brow furrowing as he reread it. Then, with a loud bark of laughter, he stumbled back, nearly falling over. "No way. It actually says that! ¡®You must have big balls.¡¯"
Kaia raised an eyebrow. "That can¡¯t be right."
John wheezed between laughs. "I swear to you. Magnas pilas habeas." He wiped his eyes. "I thought this was some ancient, wise challenge¡ nope. Just low-brow humor from whoever built this place."
Thorin scratched his beard. "So¡ what do we do? I¡¯m not carrying any balls."
John, still grinning, stepped forward dramatically. He planted his hands on his hips and, in his best booming voice, declared to the vault in perfect Latin:
"Ego magnas pilas habeo!"
Kaia clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh. Thorin glanced between the two, confused. "What did you just say?"
"I just told the door, ¡®I have big balls.¡¯"
As if on cue, the stone began to rumble. The runes glowed faintly, spiraling with light as the vault door shuddered and slowly began to slide open.
Thorin stepped back, staring as dust and gravel cascaded from the shifting stone. "¡That actually worked."
John gave him a smug look. "See? Sometimes, you don¡¯t need a hero. You just need someone willing to yell ¡®I¡¯ve got big balls¡¯ at an ancient door."
Kaia finally let out a soft giggle. "I¡¯ll admit, I wasn¡¯t expecting that."
John clapped Thorin on the shoulder. "Welcome to adventuring, my friend. Half deadly traps, half dumb jokes from long-dead pranksters."
Thorin grunted. "I prefer the traps."
John shrugged as they stepped into the dark corridor beyond. "Well, don¡¯t worry. I¡¯m sure there¡¯s plenty of those waiting inside too."
Kaia¡¯s staff lit the path ahead as the vault door sealed behind them. As they walked, she glanced at John with a faint smile. "Still¡ it¡¯s impressive you could read it at all. Maybe being from your world isn¡¯t such a curse."
John chuckled. "Oh, just wait until the next door asks for a password. I bet it¡¯s something ridiculous like ¡®password123.¡¯"
Thorin sighed. "I hope not. I¡¯ll never understand adventurers."
"You¡¯re not supposed to." John grinned, ready for whatever strange challenge lay ahead.
Chapter 28 : Do You Take Venmo?
The stone archway loomed ahead, its surface chiseled with faint patterns long worn by time and moisture. John paused just outside, shifting his grip on the torch. The flame flickered, barely illuminating the gaping tunnel ahead.
"Well," John muttered, stepping forward. "If I disappear, at least tell my wife I died doing something ridiculous."
Kaia followed close behind, her staff casting a pale glow along the walls. "I''m sure she knows when you go it will be because of something ridiculous "
"Hey that''s hurtful," John replied with a grin. "Thorin, you coming?"
Thorin grunted, ducking beneath the low arch. "Wouldn¡¯t let you two get lost without me."
The air grew colder as they moved inside, the entrance behind them shrinking to a pinprick of light. The tunnel stretched ahead, wide enough for them to walk two abreast. Water trickled down the walls, forming thin rivulets that pooled along the uneven floor. Their footsteps echoed, breaking the heavy silence.
Kaia ran her hand along the damp stone, tracing shallow grooves etched into the surface. "These markings¡ they could be dwarven. Or maybe ancient human. It¡¯s hard to tell."
John squinted at the symbols. "Any chance they say ¡®Welcome¡¯ or ¡®Free treasure this way¡¯?"
"Unlikely," Kaia replied. "But I¡¯ll let you know if I see a warning."
John shrugged, his torchlight bouncing off the slick walls. "I feel like the smell¡¯s enough of a warning."
The tunnel opened into a small chamber, jagged stalactites hanging from the ceiling. A few rusted chains dangled from the far wall, their ends broken and trailing into the dirt.
Thorin stepped closer, tapping one of the chains with his hammer. "Prisoners, maybe. Or bait."
John grimaced. "Comforting thought."
Kaia knelt, brushing away some loose debris at the edge of the room. Bones ¨C small ones ¨C lay half-buried in the dirt. She lifted a piece of broken skull, holding it delicately in her palm. "Goblin."
John shifted uncomfortably. "Not recent, right?"
Kaia shook her head. "It¡¯s old. Whatever happened here¡ it¡¯s long over."
"Let¡¯s hope the current tenants are less homicidal." John exhaled, eyes scanning the chamber. "Come on. Nothing else to see here. We keep moving."
They pressed deeper into the dungeon, the air thick with the weight of long-forgotten things. Each corner brought another stretch of crumbling stone and dripping water. The walls seemed to close in tighter the farther they walked.
As they rounded another bend, Kaia spoke softly. "This place feels¡ wrong."
"Yeah," John agreed, keeping his knife ready. "I¡¯ve seen enough movies to know when we¡¯re being watched."
Thorin made an annoyed grunt. "Are movies all you know?"
" Life is just one big movie. Only you don''t get to pick your genre"
The path ahead narrowed, leading into darkness. And somewhere in the black, a soft shuffling echoed back toward them.
John stopped, raising a hand. "Hear that?"
Kaia and Thorin froze, listening.
Thorin¡¯s eyes narrowed. "Footsteps. Not ours."
John nodded, lowering his torch slightly. "Looks like we¡¯re about to meet the neighbors."
They pressed forward carefully, the weight of unseen eyes following every step.
***
The tunnel narrowed as John led the way, torch flickering in his hand. Thorin trudged behind him, grumbling under his breath about the smell of damp stone and goblin filth. Kaia followed silently, her eyes scanning the shadows, staff held in a white-knuckled grip.
John held up a hand, stopping short of a bend in the corridor. "Hold up. Something¡¯s off." He squinted into the darkness ahead. "Thorin, you smell that?"
Thorin sniffed the air and scowled. "Smells like a goblin privy."
"Yeah," John said. "Because we¡¯re about to walk into one."
A pebble skipped down the path ahead. Kaia stiffened. John barely had time to curse before three goblins scrambled out of side passages, blocking their path.
The lead goblin wore a crude leather vest, scarred and stitched in a dozen places. A jagged short sword rested in his clawed hand, while the two flanking him brandished slings.
"Give gold!" the leader snarled, pointing the sword at them. "No fight. You live."
John lowered his torch slightly, eyes narrowing. "Oh sure, let me just dig into my gold reserves." John turned his pockets out and shrugged "What do you take, Venmo or PayPal?"
The goblin blinked. "Ven... mo?"
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Thorin snorted, stepping forward. "We don¡¯t have time for this, John."
"Exactly. Let¡¯s just¡ª"
A sling stone whizzed past John''s ear, clipping the edge of his torch and sending sparks flying.
"Alright!" John snapped. "You want to play dirty? Let¡¯s play dirty."
John lunged first, slashing low with his knife. The goblin leader parried, steel screeching against steel. Thorin barreled forward, raising his shield to block another stone. The impact thudded, but Thorin didn¡¯t slow. He swung his hammer in a wide arc, forcing one of the slingers to dive aside.
Kaia whispered a quick incantation, light flaring from her staff. "Try not to get hit, you two."
"Trying!" John grunted as the goblin leader shoved him back. The goblin grinned, sharp teeth glinting in the torchlight. He lashed out with a thrust, but John twisted, feeling the blade skim past his ribs.
Thorin locked onto the other slinger, hammer swinging again. The goblin yelped as the heavy weapon clipped its shoulder, sending it sprawling.
"One down!" Thorin called.
John, ducking beneath a wild swing, jabbed his knife into the leader¡¯s exposed side. The goblin shrieked, staggering back, but John pressed the attack. "Not so tough when you¡¯re bleeding, are you?"
The last slinger backed away, fumbling another stone into its sling.
"Kaia!" John shouted.
Before the goblin could let loose, Kaia¡¯s staff snapped up. A bolt of light shot forward, smacking the goblin square in the chest. The creature froze where it was.
John shadowstepped behind the immobile goblin and drove both daggers into it. Kaias spell broke and the creature fell lifeless to the floor.
The leader growled, dropping his sword. He turned to run¡ªonly to smack directly into Thorin¡¯s chest.
"Going somewhere?" Thorin rumbled.
The goblin barely had time to squeal before Thorin¡¯s hammer came down. He dropped to his knees and begged for mercy.
Thorin brought the hammer back down again and again. Finally the chief lay motionless. The battle over.
John stood panting, wiping sweat from his brow. "Three goblins? That¡¯s what, a warm-up?"
Thorin nudged the body of the leader with his boot. " Either they are getting weaker or we are much stronger."
Kaia knelt, inspected a corpse and looted the creature. "This was a well organized ambush, but we did just face an army of the dead."
John bent down, looting the leader¡¯s pouch. A handful of copper coins clinked into his hand. "All in a days work for me. Let¡¯s keep moving before more show up."
As they walked deeper into the dungeon, Thorin glanced at John. "Venmo, huh?"
John smirked. "Yeah. You¡¯d love Earth."
***
The soft drip of water echoed in the tunnel as John stepped over the fallen goblins, torchlight flickering against the stone. Thorin followed behind, hammer resting on his shoulder, while Kaia trailed at the rear, staff tapping lightly with each step.
For the first time since they entered the dungeon, silence stretched between them.
John exhaled, running a hand through his hair. "I forgot how much I hate the smell of goblins."
Thorin chuckled low. "Better than the smell of troll dens. Trust me."
Kaia glanced back the way they¡¯d come, her brows drawn together. "They attacked too soon."
John arched an eyebrow. "Too soon?"
Kaia nodded, shifting her staff. "We barely made it inside. Ambushes usually happen deeper in, when retreat isn¡¯t an option. This felt¡ rushed."
John exchanged a look with Thorin. "Maybe they¡¯re just stupid."
"Or desperate," Thorin added. "Desperate goblins are more dangerous than smart ones."
"Fantastic." John rubbed the back of his neck. "So we either fought the dropouts of goblin school or the ones with nothing to lose."
Thorin smirked. "Welcome to dungeon crawling."
They pressed on, the air growing colder the deeper they went. The walls here were smoother, carved by tools rather than time. Faint grooves lined the edges of the passage, as if someone had tried¡ªand failed¡ªto mask the construction.
John trailed his fingers along the wall. "Someone built this section. Not just goblins. This is too clean for them."
Kaia¡¯s voice softened. "Dungeons are layered. Different hands shape them over the years. Some parts crumble, some stay hidden. And some¡ reshape themselves."
Thorin frowned. "I don¡¯t like that last part."
John grinned. "You get used to it. Back home, we called it procedural generation."
Kaia blinked. "I have no idea what that means."
"Exactly."
They walked in relative quiet for another few minutes before Thorin¡¯s boot clinked against something metallic.
He stopped, eyes narrowing as he crouched down. "Hold up."
John stepped closer, torchlight revealing thin wires stretched low across the path. Rusted spikes lined the walls at knee height, hidden beneath a layer of moss.
Thorin traced the wire with his finger. "Tripwire. Goblin handiwork."
Kaia huffed. "So much for rushing. They were ready."
John knelt, eyeing the crude mechanism. "I can disarm it. Just give me a sec."
Thorin stood and tightened his grip on his hammer, watching the shadows ahead. "Take your time. But not too much. Traps usually mean we¡¯re close to more of them."
John pulled a thin dagger from his belt, carefully hooking the wire. As he worked, he glanced up at Kaia. "So, you¡¯re the expert here. How often do these things reset?"
Kaia shrugged lightly. "Depends on how paranoid the goblins are. Sometimes they leave a few patrols to reset them if adventurers come through."
John¡¯s eyes narrowed. "Meaning there might be goblins ahead, just waiting for us to make a mistake."
Kaia smiled faintly. "I didn¡¯t say it was a good system."
With a soft click, the wire snapped loose, the spikes retracting into the walls. John stood, brushing his hands off. "Alright. One trap down. Who¡¯s ready for the next five?"
Thorin grunted. "I¡¯d prefer if it¡¯s only five."
They moved forward, more cautious now, eyes scanning the path for hidden dangers.
John smirked at the quiet tension. "You know, I feel like I should say something dramatic. Like, ''it¡¯s too quiet'' or
***
The further they walked, the more obvious it became¡ªthis wasn¡¯t just a tunnel. It was a gauntlet.
John crouched, torch flickering low as he traced the outline of a pressure plate just ahead of Thorin¡¯s boot. "Whoa, whoa. Hold it there, big guy."
Thorin stopped mid-step, brow furrowing. "Another one?"
"Third in the last ten feet." John knelt, drawing his dagger to pry loose the shoddy mechanism beneath the stone. "You know, I¡¯m starting to think this dungeon was sponsored by ACME."
Kaia leaned on her staff, watching him work. "ACME?"
John grinned as he disarmed the trap. "Company famous for two things¡ªcheap quality and explosive results."
Thorin huffed. "Sounds like goblins."
"Exactly." John held up a crude bear trap, the rusted metal barely holding together. "Case in point. I could probably sneeze on this, and it¡¯d fall apart."
A faint chime echoed in John¡¯s ear.
[Trap Disarming +1]
He stuffed the trap into his pack, ignoring the questioning looks from Kaia and Thorin.
"You¡¯re keeping that?" Kaia arched an eyebrow.
"Hey, waste not, want not." John shrugged. "Might come in handy. Besides, it¡¯s free loot."
Another few steps in, and John stopped again, eyes narrowing at a thin line stretched across the path.
"Okay, now this one is just insulting."
He clipped the tripwire loose and carefully wound it up, dropping it into his pack with the growing collection of goblin traps.
[Trap Collected: Improvised Tripwire]
Kaia folded her arms. "How many of those do you need?"
"All of them. It¡¯s a collector¡¯s hobby at this point."
The pattern continued¡ªevery few feet, John found another half-baked trap. Pits covered with fragile boards, logs tied with fraying ropes, and darts so rusted they looked more dangerous to the goblins than anyone else.
John disarmed each one with the ease of someone picking locks in a video game tutorial.
Until he nearly missed one.
His foot hovered over a seemingly plain patch of stone when his interface flickered.
[Trap Detected ¨C Severity: Deadly]
John froze, eyes darting down. Thin grooves lined the stone¡¯s edges, almost invisible in the dim light.
"Kaia¡" His voice was quieter this time. "See anything unusual about this rock?"
She squinted, shaking her head. "It looks normal to me."
John exhaled. "Yeah, well, according to my HUD, it¡¯s not."
Carefully, he knelt and began working at the trap¡¯s edges. A few tense moments passed before he pulled out a spring-loaded spike, still sharp enough to gleam.
"One wrong step and this would¡¯ve skewered me like a kabob."
Thorin whistled low. "Goblins are getting fancy."
"One of them, maybe." John pocketed the spike, standing. "Most of these look like practice runs. But this? This was the final exam."
Not long after, John¡¯s hunch paid off.
Up ahead, faint goblin chatter drifted down the corridor.
John held up a hand, signaling the others to stop. Carefully, he peered around the bend.
Three goblins crouched near the floor, bickering as they fiddled with a pit trap. The largest one smacked the smaller two, snarling something in their guttural tongue.
John grinned, stepping back. "Well, look at that. The artists are still at work."
Thorin frowned. "We could take them head-on."
"Sure, but where¡¯s the fun in that?" John patted his pack. "I say we let them taste their own medicine."
Kaia¡¯s eyes narrowed. "John, what are you¡ª"
Too late. He was already pulling out the tripwire, setting it low across the tunnel entrance. A bear trap clanked softly as he placed it in the shadows just behind the wire.
"Give me two minutes."
Thorin crossed his arms, watching as John set the traps in record time.
Kaia sighed. "I swear, you¡¯re enjoying this."
"Absolutely."
With the last trap in place, John stepped back, wiping his hands. "Alright. Let¡¯s herd ¡®em in."
Thorin didn¡¯t wait for further instructions. He lobbed a rock down the corridor.
The resulting clang echoed loudly.
The goblins froze. One of them barked nervously, pointing toward the noise. They crept forward, curious and wary.
The first one hit the tripwire, stumbling forward just as the bear trap snapped shut on its ankle.
The goblin screamed, thrashing wildly. The second tripped over him, landing face-first into another set of spikes John had placed earlier.
The third goblin, clearly the brains of the operation, tried to bolt.
Thorin caught him mid-step, hammer swinging.
The fight was over in seconds.
John dusted off his hands. "I think I just invented a new sport¡ªgoblin fishing."
Kaia gave him a long look. "You are dangerous."
John smirked. "Only to goblins. Let¡¯s keep moving."
Chapter 29: Rodents Of Unusual Size
The tunnel stretched ahead, winding deeper into the earth. The flicker of Kaia¡¯s staff-cast light bobbed along the jagged walls, shadows dancing with every step.
John twirled a disarmed snare between his fingers like a pen, glancing over his shoulder. "These goblins have been watching too much MacGyver. I''m going to max out my trap-disarming skill if this keeps up?"
Thorin shrugged, tightening his grip on his hammer. "They¡¯ve always liked traps, but this? This feels... excessive."
Kaia frowned. "It¡¯s more like desperation. Goblins don¡¯t usually rig entire tunnels like this unless they¡¯re guarding something."
John perked up. "Treasure?"
"Possibly. Or territory." Kaia¡¯s tone darkened. "But I¡¯d bet on something bigger. A warband, maybe. A chieftain¡¯s den."
John let out a low whistle. "Great. I always wanted to meet a goblin warlord. Maybe I¡¯ll get an autograph before he tries to kill me."
Kaia didn¡¯t smile.
The air grew heavier the further they descended. The crude goblin-made beams supporting the ceiling creaked overhead as if protesting their intrusion.
John¡¯s eyes scanned the ground constantly, his trap detection skill pinging more often now. Each time, he crouched, carefully disarming or marking the danger for Thorin to crush beneath his hammer.
[Trap Disarming +1]
[Improvised Spear Trap Collected]
Kaia glanced at him sideways. "You¡¯re unusually quiet."
John grinned. "I¡¯m farming experience points."
"You¡¯re hoarding junk."
"It¡¯s not junk, it¡¯s tactical recycling." John patted his pack, which now jingled faintly with various bits of salvaged traps. "I¡¯m building a rogue¡¯s arsenal, one rusty goblin deathtrap at a time."
Thorin chuckled. "I¡¯ll give you this¡ªif we ever run out of weapons, you¡¯ll have enough tripwires to start a festival."
John gestured dramatically. "Exactly. I call it GobCon 2025. One-day event, no survivors."
Kaia groaned softly, pressing onward.
As they rounded the next bend, the tunnel widened into a small chamber. Dim torchlight flickered at the far end, revealing a crude wooden barricade blocking further passage.
Thorin grunted. "Looks like someone doesn¡¯t want company."
John rubbed his hands together. "Well then lets be unwelcome house guests that linger too long."
He crouched, carefully inspecting the barricade. Several more traps lined the base¡ªtripwires, spikes, even what appeared to be an unstable explosive device, crudely made from a clay pot.
"Wow." John sat back on his heels. "Okay, credit where it¡¯s due. This is impressive."
Kaia leaned closer, peering at the explosive. "Can you disarm it?"
John smirked. "Disarm it? I¡¯m using it."
Thorin stepped forward, eyeing the barricade. "We could smash through¡ª"
John shot him a look. "Or... we could not set off the literal bomb."
Thorin grunted, stepping back.
John dug into his pack, fishing out the same tripwire he¡¯d taken earlier. "I say we return the favor."
Kaia arched an eyebrow. "You¡¯re going to trap their barricade?"
"Absolutely. Consider it an early housewarming gift."
Working quickly, John rigged the firepot near the base, connecting it to the tripwire and one of the snare traps. He dusted his hands off, stepping back to admire his handiwork.
"There. One gentle tug, and¡ª"
The distant echo of approaching goblin voices cut him off.
John grinned. "Speak of the devils."
Kaia¡¯s eyes narrowed. "We should hide."
They pressed back into the shadows, tucking themselves against the rocky walls just as a group of goblins shuffled into view.
Three of them¡ªlikely sentries¡ªambled toward the barricade, chattering in low, guttural tones. One poked the wooden planks curiously.
The moment his foot grazed the tripwire, John mouthed Boom.
The firepot exploded in a flash of flame and smoke, sending goblin limbs tumbling backward.
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[Trap Making +1]
Thorin strode out casually as the smoke cleared, hammer resting on his shoulder. "That was easy."
John chuckled. "Never underestimate the power of regifting."
Kaia shook her head, brushing soot from her robes. "Remind me to keep you far away from the alchemist¡¯s guild when we reach the next town."
John grinned. "If Alchemy is like chemistry back home that guild is filled with two kinds of people. Those who want to make drugs and those who want to blow things up. I''ll get along just fine."
Kaia opened her mouth to respond then just stared and walked on.
With the path now clear, they pressed forward, stepping over the charred remains of the barricade.
John couldn¡¯t help but admire the simplicity of it all. Goblins might be pests, but they sure made life interesting.
***
The tunnel narrowed as John led the way, torch flickering in his hand. Thorin trudged behind him, grumbling under his breath about the smell of damp stone and rot. Kaia followed silently, her eyes scanning the shadows.
John held up a hand, stopping short of a bend in the corridor. "Hold up. Something¡¯s off." He squinted into the darkness ahead. "Thorin, you smell that?"
Thorin sniffed the air and scowled. "Smells like wet fur. And piss."
"Yeah," John said, eyes narrowing. "Man that''s even worse than the goblin stink. And that''s saying something"
A faint skitter echoed ahead. Kaia stiffened. John barely had time to curse before three massive rodents¡ªeasily the size of large dogs¡ªemerged from a crack in the stone, teeth bared and fur bristling.
"Rodents of Unusual Size?" John muttered. "I didn''t think they existed."
One of the rodents lunged first, snarling as it snapped its yellowed teeth at John¡¯s ankle.
John dodged sideways, slashing down with his knife. The blade grazed the rodent¡¯s flank, drawing a spray of foul-smelling blood. Thorin stepped in beside him, raising his shield as the second rodent barreled toward them. The shield absorbed the hit with a heavy thud, but Thorin held firm.
"Ugly little bastards, aren¡¯t they?" Thorin growled, shoving the creature back with a forceful bash.
Kaia raised her staff, muttering a quick incantation. A soft light shimmered around the group, warding off the worst of the encroaching darkness.
"Try not to get bitten," she warned. "I don¡¯t want to find out what diseases they¡¯re carrying."
"Trust me," John said, parrying another lunge. "Getting bitten wasn¡¯t on my to-do list."
The lead rodent snarled, trying to circle John. Thorin stepped forward with a wide swing of his hammer. It connected with a satisfying crack, sending the rodent skidding across the stone floor. As it rose Thorin strode over to it and brought down his hammer. This time the Rous managed to move out of the way and lunged at Thorin with surprising speed and strength. Knocking him off balance. The creature went to bite Thorin''s leg when Kaia landed a paralyzing spell on it. Using a new skill Thorin unleashed a deadly stomp on the rodent of unusual size.
"One down," Thorin grunted.
The second rodent snapped at Kaia, but she spun away, bringing the butt of her staff down on its skull with surprising force. The creature let out a shriek and backed away.
John squared off with a rodent. It hissed, hackles raised as it lunged for his throat. He sidestepped and drove his knife into its side, twisting the blade for good measure. The rodent spasmed and fell still.
The last rodent looked like it was about to run away. Thorin moved to block the creature and before it could turn around John shadowstepped behind It and used backstab with devastating effect. The rodent crumpled to the ground.
John pulled his blade free, shaking off the gore. "Three giant rats? That¡¯s what, a warm-up?"
Thorin nudged one of the corpses with his boot. "Bigger than any rat I¡¯ve seen. They¡¯ve been feeding on something."
Kaia knelt beside the fallen creatures, inspecting them with a frown. "This isn¡¯t natural. Something¡¯s driven them to grow this large."
John crouched by the largest rodent, poking through its mangy fur. "Might not be natural, but this one¡¯s dinner."
Kaia grimaced. "You can¡¯t be serious."
John grinned. "What? You afraid of a little rat?"
As he hoisted the carcass over his shoulder, Kaia shook her head, muttering. "I¡¯ve seen some things, but this¡"
Thorin chuckled softly.
John smirked as they pressed deeper into the dungeon. "Come on, Thorin. You¡¯ll love it. it will be delicious."
***
John adjusted the straps on his pack as the group pressed deeper into the tunnels. The air grew heavier, and thick with the damp, earthy scent of stone and moss. Torchlight flickered across rough-hewn walls, casting long shadows that danced with each step. Thorin walked ahead, shield raised, his eyes narrowed in focus. Kaia stayed close to John, her staff illuminating the path with a soft glow.
¡°You think those goblins were the welcoming committee or just bored?¡± John asked, breaking the silence.
Thorin grunted. ¡°Goblins don¡¯t usually attack unless they think they¡¯ve got the advantage.¡±
Kaia glanced over her shoulder. ¡°Or if they¡¯re scared of something worse.¡±
John let that hang in the air for a moment. ¡°I swear there better not be another crazy necromancer down here.¡±
They passed through a narrow archway where the tunnel opened into a wider corridor. The walls here were lined with crude etchings¡ªgoblin markings if John had to guess. Some were just scratches, but others depicted crude figures in battle or strange symbols he didn¡¯t recognize.
John slowed, letting his torch linger on one of the symbols. ¡°Hey, Kaia. Any chance you know what this says? I¡¯m guessing it¡¯s not ''Live, Laugh, Loot.''¡±
Kaia stepped forward, tracing the markings with her fingers. ¡°It¡¯s goblin script, but this part isn¡¯t normal. This symbol here¡ it¡¯s different.¡±
¡°Different bad or different worse?¡± John asked.
¡°Different like someone else taught them how to write it,¡± she replied. ¡°Could be connected to whatever dark forces they were talking about.¡±
Thorin shifted impatiently. ¡°Doesn¡¯t matter. Goblins ahead. Let¡¯s focus on the living threats.¡±
John nodded, but he couldn¡¯t shake the nagging feeling that those symbols meant something important. They pressed on, following the winding path of the tunnel. Occasionally, John would spot another shoddy trap tucked into crevices or loosely hidden beneath rubble. Each one was quickly disarmed and stuffed into John¡¯s pack.
After what felt like an hour, John held up a hand to stop. ¡°Hold on. Something¡¯s off.¡±
Kaia tensed. ¡°What is it?¡±
John frowned, tilting his head as if listening. ¡°Not sure. Just got that ''someone''s-watching-me'' vibe.¡±
The words had barely left his mouth when a blur shot out of the darkness. A dagger flashed, slicing across John¡¯s side before he could react. He stumbled back, torch flickering wildly.
¡°Contact!¡± Thorin roared, raising his shield.
The goblin rogue melted into the shadows, reappearing a few feet away with a feral grin. Dressed in patchwork leather and wielding twin daggers, the creature circled them like a predator testing prey.
¡°Sneaky little thing, aren¡¯t you?¡± John hissed, pressing a hand to his side. Blood seeped through his fingers, but the wound wasn¡¯t deep.
The rogue lunged again, aiming for Kaia. Thorin intercepted, his hammer swinging wide. The goblin ducked under the blow, cutting at Thorin¡¯s leg. Sparks flew as the blade glanced off armor.
John moved quickly, flanking the goblin. ¡°Hey! Over here!¡± he shouted, slashing at the rogue. The goblin twisted away but not fast enough to avoid a shallow cut along its arm.
Kaia stepped back, murmuring a spell. Light gathered at the tip of her staff before lancing out in a narrow beam. The goblin dodged out of the way of her spell covering its eyes from the bright light.
Thorin took the opening. His hammer came down hard, grazing the goblin¡¯s shoulder and forcing it to retreat.
The rogue didn¡¯t flee. Instead, it crouched low, daggers held in a reverse grip, breathing heavily. Its eyes gleamed with something John didn¡¯t like¡ªconfidence.
¡°Kaia, stay close,¡± John ordered, shifting his stance. ¡°Thorin, don¡¯t let it split us up.¡±
John rolled his shoulders as he eyed the goblin across from him. The creature was smaller than he was, wiry and hunched, but its yellow eyes gleamed with intelligence. Its tattered leather armor was mismatched, clearly scavenged, and its curved dagger dripped with something dark¡ªpoison, if John had to guess.
The goblin grinned, baring sharp teeth. "Hooman thinks he can beat Skrizz? Skrizz been fighting long before hooman was here!"
John exhaled, gripping his knife tighter. His body ached from the past battles¡ªthis damn goblin was more than just a simple monster. It fought like a rogue, just like him.
Skrizz moved first, vanishing into the shadows. John barely had time to react before a dagger flickered through the air toward his throat. He twisted, the blade grazing his cheek, and lunged forward, slashing where Skrizz had been. The goblin was already gone, rolling into the shadows of the cave.
John cursed and activated his Shadow Step ability, flickering into darkness and reappearing behind the goblin. His knife stabbed forward, but Skrizz spun at the last second, parrying the attack with uncanny reflexes. The goblin countered with a kick to John¡¯s knee, making him stumble, then followed up with a wicked slash aimed at his ribs.
John barely managed to deflect it, but Skrizz was relentless, pressing the attack. The goblin fought dirty, throwing dirt into John¡¯s eyes before vanishing again into the shadows. John staggered back, blinking rapidly, his heart hammering. He could hear Skrizz''s ragged breathing, circling him, waiting for an opening.
Fine. Two could play that game.
John feigned weakness, lowering his stance, and letting his breathing grow heavier. Skrizz took the bait, darting forward with a gleeful hiss¡ªonly for John to twist at the last moment, catching the goblin¡¯s wrist and yanking him off balance. He drove his knee into Skrizz¡¯s stomach, forcing a wheeze from the goblin, and followed up with an elbow to its temple.
Skrizz snarled and bit down on John¡¯s arm, fangs piercing flesh. John shouted in pain and slammed his fist into the goblin¡¯s face. The goblin reeled but twisted, slipping free like a snake, and flicked its poisoned dagger at John''s shoulder.
Pain lanced through him. John staggered, gritting his teeth as his vision swam. His interface flashed a warning¡ªPoisoned: Agility reduced. Reaction speed reduced.
"Hooman slowing down," Skrizz taunted, circling him again. "Skrizz wins soon."
John yelled, "Kaia I''m poisoned!"
Kaia raised her staff to cure the poison but the fight resumed and she couldn''t get a clear shot.
Skrizz lunged again, aiming for the weakened shoulder, but John ducked, sweeping the goblin¡¯s legs out from under him. The rogue hit the dirt with a snarl, rolling to avoid the finishing strike. John threw a handful of his own dirt, blinding the goblin for a moment, then kicked Skrizz hard in the ribs, sending him tumbling.
The goblin coughed, struggling to stand. John didn¡¯t give him the chance. He surged forward, slamming his knife into the goblin¡¯s chest. Skrizz let out a choking laugh, his yellow eyes still gleaming. "Clever hooman... Skrizz... impressed."
Then the goblin went still. A chime echoed in John''s interface.
[Level Up]
John exhaled and wiped his knife clean. That had been way too close. If all enemies in this world fought like that, he had a hell of a road ahead of him.