《In Absence》


 Chapter 1

    Sarah was crying.


    The night was buzzing around her. Between street light, the noise of cars, the distant murmur of the crowds outside of bars, it felt like everything was so vibrant, so alive around her. Like everyone knew how to handle existing, in a way that she could never quite figure out. Never having to suffer like she always did.


    Shr had just lost her job at the local fast food dinner. In a week or two, she knew, she would lose her apartment. Her tiny, dirty studio, with a shared bathroom on the floor and its screaming neighbors. She would be homeless, broke, starving and desperate.


    And she had no one to help her.


    Her parents were dead, a long time ago. Her father had died in prison before she could ever remember him, and her mother had died of an overdose when she was 8. Any relative had simply rejected her, had declared not having the time or money for one more mouth to feed, and had simply left her be, at the mercy of the foster system.


    She aged out of the system, dropped out of school and ended up working dead-end job, trying to keep her head out of the water. Not well, but she still tried.


    It all felt like it amounted to nothing. Absolutely nothing at all. Her life was just emptiness and misery.


    What was the point of living, then?


    She was sitting on a bench, in a park by a busy boulevard. Any minute now, she just knew, a cop would come quick her out for loitering after dark. She needed to go to her place, maybe start packing her stuff, look into shelter or something-


    And that¡¯s when something caught her eyes.


    A moth.


    Maybe it was a trick brought on by the veil of her tears, but the little creature seemed so much more iridescent than any other she had ever seen. It was as if the night sky had been entrapped in its soft fluttering wings, deep ink pool that seemed to swim with dark blues and purples, delicately painted by a constellation of white, fine dots. She could see the furs around the head of the moth, and it¡¯s antenna, who were a striking cream color compared to the rest of its body. It was simply beautiful. Mesmerizing. She had very little knowledge of insects in general, but there was something here, about the creature, that was just so¡­. Oddly captivating. Without quite thinking about it, or knowing why, she stood up. Took a few steps.


    The moth continued to flutter in the air, right in front of her. As if tempting her, trying to entice her to come forward. Her arm raised itself, and for a wild moment, she had the thought that, if she could reach the little being, she would hold an entire universe in her hands. A flutter of stars and nebula.


    The moth was moving away from her. Her feet followed.


    She felt her breath catch in her throat. Her worries didn¡¯t seem so intense, so painful, when starring at such starlight. Dimly, she realised she had never seen the actual night sky, free of light pollution, as she had always lived in the city.


    The moth was just there. Her arm extended forward, a futile attempt to grasp the infinite. She didn¡¯t realise the ground of the park and shifted under her feet, that she was advancing on pavement.


    Light flooded the area. And in those incandescent, powerful headlight, she saw more of the wings of the insects. She saw the galaxy in those wings, slowly moving under her amazed eyes. Just out of reach.


    Just out of reach of the car.


    She never quite heard the noise. The screeching tires, the honking, the panicked screaming of a poor taxi man and of his two drunk passengers. Her eyes suddenly were taken off the moth, as she too was airborne for a moment, bouncing on a windshield and on the roof of the car. She felt her body break, getting crushed by intense energy, her bones shattering inside of her, the shard of them becoming human shrapnel for her organs.


    She didn¡¯t scream. Didn¡¯t make a single sound.


    She hit the pavement, her head making a sick sound, like a broken egg. There was no air left in her collapsed ribcage for her to wheeze. The pain and come and went, so fast, as her brain struggled to process her destruction. She couldn¡¯t feel her legs. Somehow, that bothered her more than the pool of blood forming under her. Her vision was darkening around the edge. She realised she was dying.This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.


    As she laid there, and wondered if there would be anyone at her funerals, anyone that would care to remember her, her fading gaze caught movement.


    The moth.


    It was still fluttering. Still holding a galaxy in its wings. But, seeping into its delicate wings, was also blood. Her own, splattered upon impact.


    Sarah Bate died, with that vision of a universe, drenched in her blood. She was 21.


    The moth shuddered mid flight, as her soul exited her body. It went in a circle above it, higher and higher, in a fashion that would have been seen as nervous by any observer. But all the people were looking downward, at the dead young woman on the ground, and not at the moth, going higher and higher, the galaxy shining brighter and brighter in its wings, until it¡¯s light englobed the entire little being, indistinguishable from any stars of the sky.


    And then the light vanished.


    <hr>


    Sarah wasn¡¯t cold.


    Or warm, for the matter. Which was odd, because her studio was usually freezing in the winter, and boiling in the summer. Such were the joy of being broke. But she wasn¡¯t in her apartment, wasn¡¯t she? No.


    She was dead.


    It was an odd realisation, that didn¡¯t induce panic in her. She remembered the pavement, the car, the light- and yet it all seemed so unimportant at the moment. Her body didn¡¯t hurt. Didn¡¯t feel much, really. Just¡­ Contentement. Peace. It was as if she both existed, and didn¡¯t, at the same time. Nothing seemed to matter. Not time or sensation or space. Just¡­ being. In this perfect blackness, this infinite void.


    She kinda enjoyed it.


    She was still unsure if her eyes were open or not, if she could see or had eyes left to see, when a light started to grow in front of her. It was a pale light, the color of moonlight, and out of it, a form was slowly emerging. To her great surprised, it was¡­. A man. But not really.


    The man seemed young, possibly younger and shorter that she had been. He had hair a pure snowy white, and a skin that looked¡­ Strangely grey. He was wearing an odd cape, with a rounded edge, that seemed to have swallowed the night sky. The collar of the shirt, which seemed to be an old-fashioned blouse, was made of thick white fur, almost the same color than his hair. But most striking about him, were his huge, disproportionate eyes. They seemed to shine like a mirror, without visible iris or pupils. It was vaguely unnerving. The man, or boy really, advanced toward her, and while his enormous mirror eyes made it hard to read his expression, he still seemed distinctly¡­. Confused.


    ¡°What.¡± He whispered. His voice truly betrayed his age, and she knew she had a teen in front of her. ¡°Are you¡±?


    Sarah, to her honest surprised, was able to make a sound. She wasn¡¯t sure how, as she still felt like she had no body, but it still resonated between them.


    ¡°I¡¯m Sarah. A human¡± she felt the need to add, as she had the distinct impression that the being in front of her was not one. ¡°Who are you?¡±


    The boy seemed to hesitate, turning around, as if he had expected someone to be behind him, to tell him how he should answer.


    ¡°My name is¡­ Dusk. I am a servant of Ira.¡± He then looked around himself again, as if unsure. ¡°¡­ You aren¡¯t supposed to be here. No one is.¡±


    In many other circumstance, Sarah would have been a bit more worried about being stuck with a teen named dusk in a weird place, but she had finally realised something, and she could not contain her exclamation.


    ¡°Your eyes! They are compound eyes, like insect!¡± It did explain the odd, shimmering effect they had. And the lack of blinking. He starred at her, visibly even more confused, and maybe even a bit frustrated, by her words.


    ¡°That¡¯s not important,¡± he said, impatient. ¡°You came here, but that¡¯s impossible. No one is supposed too, not since Ira disappear. Her realm his closed.¡± He then gasped, as he starred at her. Strangely, Sarah could feel a glowing light slowly emitting around her non-form, growing by the second. This seemed to urge the moth boy along, as he started to speak urgently. ¡°Ira is missing, and I don¡¯t know why you are here. But you have to help. You have to help me find her.¡±


    As she was feeling the world swim and twirl around her, in a dizzying way, she couldn¡¯t help but ask in a cry: ¡°Who is Ira?¡± before being swallowed by the light.


    <hr>


    Sarah gasped, her heart racing. Her palm was stinging against the coarse, cold floor, and she scrambled to her knees, wincing as a pebble dug into her flesh.


    ¡­. Her flesh. Pain. Vision.


    She starred around herself, wide eyed. Around her was a large room, visibly abandoned. Light was streaming in from a hole in the roof, and he vegetation was slowly reclaiming the place. It looked like an old ruin. The wall had faded engraving, and some old broken pieces lying around might have been wooden furniture. In the center of the room, was a large, broken archway of dark stone, that somehow seemed¡­ Dead. It was an odd feeling.


    But more important than anything else, was herself.


    She was alive.


    Alive!


    She giggled in joy. Was this heaven? Was this her reward for a life of misery? Well, she would have liked clothes, for a start. She was nude in this room, and it was a bit cold. But just as she was slowly rising to her feet, something caught her eyes.


    Fluttering toward the ceiling, was a moth with wings like the night sky. The same one that had made her step into traffic. With the same pattern that had been on the wings of Dusk.


    Remembering the boy, the last words he had said before her disappearance echoed in her brain, making her smile fade.


    Who is Ira? She had asked.


    And the last thing she heard, from a desperate voice, before reappearing here, had been his reply:


    The Goddess of the Afterlife

 Chapter 2

    The breeze was¡­ nice.


    It was such an odd feeling, to be in a pleasant environment. Sarah had to spend all her life in the city, with her idea of natures being parks with sickly trees and rats scurrying along in the street. Here, in this broken down temple, there was a deep, profound silence, compared to the city. She could hear¡­ the breeze, rustling leaves. She could hear bird chirping in the distance, and the low distant buzz and creaks of some insect. The air felt clean, like it could truly go into her lungs and expend them fully for the first time.


    It was still a bit cold however, to naked on the stone floor.


    She stumbled upright, her balance a bit precarious. She kept touching her body, at the place she knew she had injured in the car crash. Her hand went through her dark, curly hair, expecting to at least a trace of blood from her cracked skull, but no. She was whole.


    This¡­ Moth person, Dusk, had clearly healed her.


    Her gaze rose to the ceiling of the room, where the suspicious insect was still fluttering. Hesitantly, she opened her mouth and spoke. ¡°Dusk?¡±


    The little moth actually lowered itself in the air, hovering in front of her. She raised her hand, and it actually perched on it. Looking more closely, she realised that the fur on the moth had the same color than the boy¡¯s hair, and that the faceted eyes of the insect truly had the same style than the one he had on his head during their encounter in the weird void.


    ¡°¡­. You are a moth, here?¡± She tried asking. The insect simply shuffled along, and she had the impression that he was being judgemental of her. ¡°I assume that you can¡¯t speak in this form¡­ Or change back?¡±


    The moth fluttered up and went in circles in front of her. It took her a minute of observing him before realising what he was trying to convey. ¡°That mean no? Tight circle, left and right?¡±


    The moth then seemed to twitch, and started to zigzag up and down, in a manner more easily recognizable. ¡°And that is a yes!¡± She said excitedly, as Dusk bobbed even more vigorously. He then went back to perch in her hand, and she felt a bit of pride, at communicating with a literal insect, even if in a somewhat limited manner.


    She took a few steps into the room. She was still¡­ Unsure of her situation. Of everything, really. Maybe this was just a prolong dream or delusion of her consciousness, as she laid dying on the pavement. Maybe this was heaven. She had no idea, but in all case, she needed clothes. She wouldn¡¯t walk around naked forever, even in paradise!


    Unsure where to start, she walked toward one of the pile of broken wood, and carefully pushed some bits aside, trying to see if anything useful was there. That was some old, frayed rope, and she bended down to grab it, making Dusk flutter and move on her shoulder.


    ¡°I need something to put on¡± she felt the need to explain. Oddly, she wasn¡¯t feeling shy about her nude form, even if she knew that the insect apparently had the mind of a teen boy. There was just¡­ No stress to it. ¡°Any idea where there might be a wardrobe here?¡± She asked rhetorically, as she finished pulling the rope from the pile of rubbles. Its texture was coarse against her hand, and any vague idea she had about maybe using it evaporated, as the idea of wearing it against her unprotected skin made her wince.


    But Dusk apparently had something on his mind and fluttered away, waiting for her to follow. They exited the main large room they had been in and entered a corridor. Broken windows were on both side, some trace of long time lost glasswork still present in them. She had the distinct impression that this broken down structure, in long ago time, had been a precious, special place. Sacred maybe even.


    They entered a room, smaller than the one they had just exited, and Sarah gasped at what she saw. In front of her, on the floor, were bodies.


    Well¡­ Skeleton, to be exact. And probably quite old. No skin, hair or anything soft was left. Just a dozen or so skeleton, laying on the ground, some of them still covered in dirty rags. It was also pretty clear that, whoever they had been, their fate had clearly been¡­ violent.


    One of the body had clearly had its skull crushed. Another one still had a long, rusty spear empaled in between two ribs. Old weapons were strewn around the ground, from dagger to swords and shields, but she saw no firearm, no modern weapon, so to speak. In fact, the entire look of the place was¡­ medieval.


    Dusk fluttered from her shoulder, and gracefully landed on a skeleton that looked maybe a bit newer than the rest? She advanced toward it and noted that this was one of those that had its skull crushed. It¡¯s clothes, that looked like long robes, now grey with age and dust, seemed to be mostly in one piece.


    She starred at Dusk, realising what the Moth was probably suggesting. ¡°¡­ You want me to wear that?! Take clothes from- a corpse?!¡± She shrieked.


    Dusk wiggled his antenna at her, visibly unbothered.


    She looked around as if vaguely hoping to see something, anything that would help her out. A person, a closet, a freaking trashcan¡­ but no. If she didn¡¯t want to explore the world nude, she would have to wear skeleton¡¯s clothes.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡± she whispered, guilt eating her alive as she reached for the body. ¡°I am so sorry, but I need this.¡± She winced, as her fingers grazed a smooth bone. She was touching a corpse. Human remains. This¡­ Couldn¡¯t be real. She had to be dreaming.


    She tried to extract the robe from the skeleton, without touching any more of the bones. She still winced every time she did, and apologized to the desecrated remains as an entire arm fell out of a sleeve, shattering to the ground in a clacking sound.


    Trying very hard not to think too much about this, she slowly put the dress on herself, finding it a bit big on her. She wasn¡¯t the tallest woman, and she was vaguely suspecting that the skeleton who had so kindly surrendered its grey robe might have been a man. She tied it a bit more at her waist with her found robe and felt a tiny bit better about herself.


    So. She was clothed now. She still didn¡¯t have shoes, and that might become an issue over time, but for now, in this probable dream and maybe afterlife, she felt like she could get away with it, as long as she watched her steps. She glanced at Dusk, who had perched on a windowsill and was observing her with his big bug eyes.


    ¡°And now¡­ What?¡± She couldn¡¯t help but ask. ¡°You said you needed help, right? To¡­ Find your Goddess, Ira. Of the afterlife?¡± Her words provoked an excited bobbing flutter from the moth. ¡°Okay. So. Missing Goddess. I have never heard of any god named Ira before, and you are¡­ A magical moth.¡± Once more, her companion showed his agreement. ¡°¡­ This isn¡¯t earth. Isn¡¯t it?¡± She felt it in her bones, that something was different here, but she had to confirm with the boy. Oddly enough, Dusk didn¡¯t take flight, but simply twitched on his perch, as if confused by the question. ¡°Right. Okay. We can figure that out later. Could you show me the exit?¡±This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    At that, he did fly into action, and took a path toward one of the doorway of the room.


    She followed the moth; her gaze going from him to the floor, hissing sometime when an especially sharp debris would dig into her sensitive feet. Shoes world be an eventual necessity, but oddly enough, none of the skeleton had seemed to have any. Eventually, they reached a doorway, and walked into a bright, sunny clearing.


    The sight stunned Sarah.


    All her life, she had been unable to enjoy nature in anything more than a park. So, to be in such an environment, with long, lush grasses, with tall trees and multicolor flowers, it really convinced her that she was in heaven. She had a disbelieving laugh, and ran into the tall grass, unable to stop herself from rolling into it like a child. After all, who was there to stop and judge her?


    She frolicked for a moment, Dusk slowly flying above her. She picked flowers that she didn¡¯t know the name of, and for a moment she wished that she knew how to make a flower crown. Something delicate and dreamlike, for how she felt. As she was picking up little white flowers, something red caught her sight, and she gasped in delight.


    ¡°Strawberry! I have never seen them in the ground before!!¡± She told her companion excitedly. It also made her realised that she was¡­ Hungry. Terribly hungry, in fact. Strawberry had been a luxury for most of her life, as she was barely able to feed herself on her terrible salary. Carefully, she plucked one of the small red fruit, and put it on her tongue.


    It was delicious.


    Sweeter than any other fruit she had before, and incredibly juicy. She moaned in delight and quickly picked up a few more. As she was doing so, she accidentally scratched her hand on a thorny, strange purple plant, and hissed in pain. She really needed to start learning about plants now. And hey, since she was in heaven, or whatever, their must have been books not too far! In all case, she just¡­ Wanted to enjoy herself, for now. To be happy in her first exploration of the forest.


    She ate through the small strawberry patch, and spotted something else, at the edge of the forest. A big bush, bearing dark fruits, similar to blueberry. She walked toward it, and tried one of the fruit, pleased to find it sweet too! She quickly ate a large quantity, picking the bush clean. She had never known that blueberries made purple flowers, but she supposed that it made sense, considering how dark blueberries could get.


    She cleaned up the bush, remarking that dusk was urgently fluttering around her. Right. He had wanted her help. In fact¡­ Since he was the one responsible for her arrival here, she kinda did own him. She saw a flat rock in the sun, and decided to go sit on it, ready to try and piece together this strange new life.


    ¡°Okay. Let¡¯s start this again. Dusk, you serve your goddess Ira, correct?¡± She waited for him to bob as a yes. ¡°Good. And she is missing. How long¡­. Wait, you cannot answer that. Ok. Let¡¯s do this as yes no question. Has she been missing¡­ for over a year?¡± Dusk made a yes. This was off to a bad start.


    ¡°¡­. For over 5?¡±


    Yes again


    ¡°15?!¡± Yes again


    ¡°This is ridiculous- she cannot be missing from before you were born!¡± She exclaimed. Dusk actually bonked into her forehead at that- a gesture that she interpreted as the insect equivalent of calling her an idiot.


    ¡°Fine. I¡¯ll figure that one later. More than 15¡­. Than, more than 25?¡±


    Another enthusiastic yes.


    She thought about the body, in the odd and broken down temple. How incredibly old they had been, without a trace of flesh left. A sinking feeling invaded her.


    ¡°¡­. Over 50 years old?¡± She said, her voice lower. Dusk continued to nod. She pressed her hand in her face, unsure what to do with this information.


    ¡°Dusk¡­ How am I supposed to find someone that has been missing for over 50 years? I¡¯m not the police! In fact- where IS the police?! There are bodies in that building, wouldn¡¯t they have moved them?¡± She asked. Dusk actually landed on her knee at her words, and she bitterly wished that he would be that strange boy again, at least he had been able to answer her question then!


    ¡°This is probably isn¡¯t Earth, there is a goddess, bodies lying around, and a magical moth boy guiding me¡­ What a ridiculous afterlife.¡± At her word, dusk jumped into flight, and hit her forehead several times in a row with visible annoyance. She rolled her eyes at his behavior and gently shooed him away with her hand. ¡°Sorry, I forgot. She is the goddess of the afterlife, so this probably isn¡¯t her world. I doubt that she would leave skeleton around, anyway.¡± She told him.


    It seemed to calm the moth down once more, and she started to think again. This was probably another world. One where at least one Goddess, and her temple, existed.


    ¡°¡­. Are there other gods, here?¡± She asked, her voice a lot more hesitant. Dusk didn¡¯t hesitate, and made a yes. So multiple gods and goddess. Great. But at least, it gave her an idea.


    ¡°Could¡­ we ask, one of them, where Ira went?¡±


    Dusk seemed to hesitate, but did end up making a slow yes. Good. They now had the beginning of a plan! A shitty one, admittedly, but it was better than nothing.


    She felt a twinge of pain, in her stomach. Probably ate too much sweets on an empty belly. She was also terribly thirsty. She shook her head, and asked her companion ¡°Before we figure this out any further, could you? Show me if there is water close by? I¡¯m quite thirsty¡­¡±


    Dusk took flight, waiting for her to follow, guiding her around the large, broken down structure, behind the temple. There, gurgling peacefully, was a brook. The water in it was some of the clearest he had ever seen. She had a moment of hesitation, a lifetime of only consuming water coming through a faucet or in a bottle halting her for a moment, before her uneasy stomach and the terrible dryness of her throat got her.


    She kneeled in the grass, and cupped her hands in the water, shivering slightly at how cold it was. She drank, pleasantly surprised at how clear it all tasted, not muddy or chlorinated. She smiled and drank and few more cupful from her hands.


    While her throat was now satisfied, the cold water also didn¡¯t ease her stomach, and she started to feel painful cramping. She winced, and couldn¡¯t but feel horribly hot, in the sun like. While earlier she had almost felt chilly in the breeze, the sun felt like an oven now, and she could feel sweat pouring from her forehead. She stood up again, feeling slightly dizzy and wondering what on earth was wrong with her, and almost face planted into the small brook.


    She remembered an old story, of a high school acquaintance, who had gotten so drunk he had passed out in a ditch with some water had the bottom of it, and had drowned. Not wanting to meet the same fate, she walked back toward the front of the temple, and the edge of the forest. She needed to sit down, or even lay down. That would help! Nothing that a nap couldn¡¯t fix.


    She grunted in pain, as her guts continued to twist and throb, and stumbled toward the edge of the forest. A big patch of moss was looking terribly inviting, almost like a pillow, and she collapsed on it, sighing in delight at how comfortable the cool plants were against her skin.


    Dusk fluttered to her, and perched in a tree above her head, visibly peering at her. ¡°I don¡¯t¡­. Feel so good.¡± She admitted to the moth. Her vision was swimming more and more, and for a moment-


    She was back, on the pavement, gasping her last breath and her blood was pouring, she could feel part of her bones pierces her lungs and her spine was severed and everything hurt and she was dying she was DYING-


    -and she gasped back under the tree, on top of her bed of moss. Her skin was clammy. The sun- was lower? Had she been unconscious? She felt- delirious. Like nothing was right. Like her body was betraying her. What was happening??


    Her head flopped to the side, and through her blurry vision, she saw the bush from wish she had eaten the blueberry.


    ¡­


    They had been blueberry, right?


    ¡°Dusk!¡± She cried out. Her voice was wet, and she realised with a delay that she was crying. ¡°Dusk!¡±


    The moth appeared in front of her, a nervous flutter. All his movement where making her even more sick. Something was rising in her throat, almost choking her.


    ¡°That¡­ That plant, that was bad, wasn¡¯t it? The one I ate?¡± She asked, hoarsely.


    The moth boy bobbed. Yes.


    Sarah sobbed at that, the horrific realisation hitting her. ¡°I¡¯m dying, aren¡¯t I?¡± She gurgled, foam starting to bubble from her mouth.


    Dusk didn¡¯t answer, but instead perched on her. Keeping her company. She cried harder, as she realised she had wasted her second chance a life, her second existence, on something so monumentally stupid.


    Sarah Batse died for the second time, in late afternoon, at the edge of a clearing. Dusk kept her company until the bitter end. She had been alive for 6 hours.