《The Book of Questions》 It Goes Like This Week 1: December 29, 2024 January 4, 2025 Sunday, December 29, 2024 No School The Prompt: What is the most important thing you learned this past year? Definitely self-reliance. I''ve been a latchkey kid since I was thirteen so Mom can work two jobs. I call her when I get home from school and our neighbor, Ms. Corbin, looks in on me once or twice. It''s always been an "it is what it is" kind of thing, and I never gave much thought to it. This past year, though, I''ve had self-reliance brought to my everyday consciousness. I''ve been taking proactive steps to do more than get my homework done and stay out of trouble. Mom needs to be able to rely on me even though (through no fault of hers) I can''t always rely on her. I guess this is another "it is what it is" but it''s something I think about now. Maybe last year is the year I actually started growing up, not just accumulating candles on my birthday cake. Mom''s working today, both the diner and the grocery store. That''s the bad part of holidays ¡ª I wake up alone and don''t see Mom until 2:00 and she''s out the door again by 4:30 and not home after 1:00. By then she''s too exhausted to do more than take a shower and go to bed. Monday, December 30, 2024 No School The Prompt: What skills did you learn? I taught myself to cook! Mom can cook but she''s never home to do it, and she has reasons for being uncomfortable teaching me. On weekdays during the school year I eat breakfast and lunch at school, and supper is whatever mom brings home from the restaurant where she works. Weekends and summers are cereal and sandwiches. It''s boring and not very healthy. Thank goodness for YouTube. I typed in ''teach yourself cooking basics'' and watched several videos before I attempted to actually use ingredients that cost money. The first thing I made was meatloaf, baked potatoes, and steamed broccoli. I''d have been okay if it had been just edible but it was actually good. Mom really liked it. But she did say that she didn''t want me to ever feel like I have to cook or keep the trailer anything beyond basically tidy and not gross. If I want to do it, that''s wonderful, but I should never be forced or expected to. What''s next? Now that I''m confident I can follow a cooking tutorial I want to try something else. I guess housework is the next logical step, but I want to alternate domestic chores. Fixing things that break around the house would be way more helpful since the repair guy hasn''t done a damn thing in four months. Tuesday, December 31, 2024 No School The Prompt: What habits did you start? Good habit: I started making my bed every morning. I''ve heard a lot of self-help and productivity people say it starts the day off with a feeling of accomplishment and so far it''s working. Bad habit: I don''t clean up when I''m done cooking, so Mom comes home to a mess as well as an okay home cooked meal. Usually she cleans up but sometimes she''s too tired and I''ll wake up to cruddy counters and a sink full of dirty dishes. Yuck. Habit I shouldn''t have to do: I keep all my books and supplies in my backpack and carry it with me all the time, because someone has been my locker. If my textbooks get damaged Mom will have to pay for it even if it''s not my fault. Until I actually catch someone in the act and can prove for sure it''s them, my stuff stays with me.This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. Mom''s got the night off from the diner. She''d have taken the day from the store, too, but she took the overtime because we need the money. We''re not going to sit up for midnight. I''m nagging Mom to go to bed early and get some really good sleep. I''m making rosemary pork chops, black-eyed peas, and asparagus for dinner. Wednesday, January 1, 2025 No School The Prompt: What are you the most proud of this year? I''m proud that I''m learning to handle things for myself. I do my homework and got my grades up from mostly C''s to B''s and A''s. I learned to cook. Mostly I learned I can figure out how to do anything that needs doing. Sometimes I get overwhelmed, though. I''m sixteen and I''m raising and myself. It''s better than what Mom went through when she was my age, by a lot, but I still wish some things could be different. I talked to Mom about doing the repairs around the trailer ourselves. At first she said no way, she was afraid we''d get in trouble. I have to tread carefully when she balks so she doesn''t go into a full-blown freak out. I told her we can''t be arrested for fixing things, and we shouldn''t be evicted either since we''re paid up with rent and the maintenance man has been MIA for literal months. Then I dropped the matter and did the laundry. By the time I was moving the clothes to the dryer Mom was ready to talk some more. We looked up how to replace the bathtub faucet handle that came off. The YouTube video made it look easy so this Saturday we''ll go to the hardware store and at least see how much it''ll cost. Thursday, January 2, 2025 No School The Prompt: What did you learn about yourself? Wow, that''s a loaded question. I knew Mom was pregnant with me when she was fifteen, ran away, and was in foster care until she was eighteen and I was two. The woman I call Nan ran the group home where we were located. Mom never talked about her parents or my Dad but promised to ''when I was older''. She''d get so upset when I asked that I just stopped pestering her about it beyond, ''am I older enough yet''. A couple days after my sixteenth birthday she told me. And no wonder she didn''t want to talk about it! Here''s the bullet points. Mom grew up in a weird cult. Her parents forced her to marry a man who was twenty-eight years old when she was fifteen. The man ¡ª my father ¡ª actually helped her escape. They didn''t know she was pregnant . The cult was shut down. Mom ended up in a group home until she was eighteen years old and I was two. Mom doesn''t know what happened to her parents and she''s still scared of them. She doesn''t know what happened to my father either. That took a lot of processing, and it explains so much about how she is, and why she sometimes acts like a scared kid. She is a scared kid! The people at the group home did the best they could, I guess, but yeah. Friday, January 3, 2025 Back to school today. Rant to follow. The Prompt: How did your relationships (family, friends, school, etc.) evolve? I got a much better understanding of Mom. I admit, there was resentment for a long time about why she was so¡­ I don''t know. Anxious to the point of being skittish. Unable to handle the outside world sometimes. Now I know and I see her in an entirely different light. It''s changed our dynamic. I think of her more like she''s my age, or I''m closer to hers, or¡­ something. Man, wording this is hard. I shouldn''t feel like Mom and I are equals. I should be rebelling, she should be a pain in my ass. But that''s other kids and moms, I guess. That''s not how this is. So how is it? I''ve been raising myself alright. I know Mom loves me or she wouldn''t be working so hard to move us out of this trailer. But like most parents want better for their kids I want better than this for her. We need to work together on equal terms. I guess that''s going to be a Conversation. Oh, goody. Anyway, it''s Friday. Why the hell are we going back to school today instead of waiting for Monday? What''s the bloody point? The vibe was so weird. I managed to stay off the radar, though. Saturday, January 4, 2025 The Prompt: How do you want to be different at the end of the year? I''m still trying to get a grip on right now! I want to be able to stand up for myself at school. I want to keep learning things that will actually make a day-to-day difference. I want to help Mom become more confident and figure out who she is and what she wants. Keeping in the theme of useful, we went to the hardware store today. I coached Mom before we went in because the staff would be looking to her, not me. She did okay. We showed a clerk a picture of the tub handle that needs replaced, and the video with the instructions how to do it. He agreed that was the way to do it, sold us new handles and a Phillips head screwdriver, and wished us luck. Mom took a few deep breaths in the car before we drove off and it was over. At least that part. We''ll actually do the fix tomorrow. I listened to a summary of Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey on YouTube to see if I want to read it. I do. The full is up, actually, so I''ll be listening to that while I try to clean out the fabric jungle I call my closet And thus concludes the first week of 2025. Good luck, Next Week Me. Reaching for the Sky Just to Surrender Sunday, January 5, 2025 The Prompt: What are your top three financial goals for this year? Well, I''m not the one making the money but I do get a voice in it, so: 1) Move! To a better, safer mobile home community. This place has too much drugs and fighting, and the cops are here at least twice a week. We''ve got our eye on a place that''s $120 more a month than we''re paying for this nightmare carnival ride. 2) A "new-to-us" car. The one Mom drives to work should have been put out of our misery over a year ago. It costs more to maintain than it''s worth, now. But I think we shouldn''t get a car yet. The new place is on the bus line, the bus goes everywhere, and when the bus isn''t running we can call a ride share if we absolutely have to. That''ll save money for¡­ 3) Nursing school. Mom''s saving most of the money she makes so she can go to nursing school without taking out loans. I don''t think she really wants to be a nurse, the pay is better than anything she''s ever seen. Mom and I fixed the faucet handles in the bathtub. It cost $20 and took ten minutes. Makes me wonder what the maintenance guy was talking about when he said it would be an expensive fix and he didn''t have time. Days making my bed: 36
Monday, January 6, 2025 The Prompt: How can I improve my daily habits? Easily. I don''t have any ¡ª at least not any that are deliberate ¡ª so just starting a habit is an improvement. There are all kinds of habit tracker apps or I could just make a note in my daily entry. I should probably start with cleaning the kitchen every night. I just got suspended from school for the first time in my life. To be brief: four guys from the basketball team were harassing me in the hallway. They do this all the time and I ignore them because that''s what I''ve always been told to do. Except this time Noah Adams grabbed my arm, turned me to face them, and shoved me against the lockers hard enough it hurt. And I punched him in the eye. His friends thought it was hilarious but still scattered like chickens when the principal, Mr. Thomas, came to see what was going on. Noah went to the nurse''s office I had to go to the principal''s office and wait for Mom. That was the part I was afraid of. Mom is terrified of male authority figures. She managed to sit through Mr. Thomas'' spiel about ''violence only begets more violence'' and saved her panic attack for when we got to the car. To add to my seething kettle of anger, Noah only has to do Saturday detention. Days making my bed: 37 Days cleaning the kitchen: 1
Tuesday, January 7, 2025 Suspension Day 1 The Prompt: What is one thing you could do today to help you achieve your goals? Um, figure out what my goals are. Besides surviving high school. Honestly I''ve barely thought about it. Life is just one crisis at a time and all I can really handle. I know more about what I don''t want than what I do. When Mom dropped me off after I was suspended I Googled ''how to deal with bullies''. The advice on the internet boiled down to ''ignore them'' and ''tell an adult''. Like that''s ever worked. I got so frustrated I was about to yeet my phone. Fortunately I didn''t because we can''t afford to get me another one right now.This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. One of the answers was funny though. It was a spell. I clicked the link and read it just for fun. It reminded me of that scene in Lilo and Stitch where Lilo had put effigies of her friends in a pickle jar and was shaking it because her friends needed to be punished. The actual spell was a little more complex than that, but it called for things we already had around the house. So I did it. It was cathartic. I put all my anger and frustration into shaking the hell out of that jar and repeating the words. When it was done I felt better. Silly, but better. Days making my bed: 38 Days cleaning the kitchen: 2 Days hexing Noah: 1
Wednesday, January 8, 2025 Suspension Day 2 The Prompt: What skills do you wish you had? I don''t know. I can learn anything I want to ¡ª for free, in a lot of cases. Thanks be to the Internet! So, what kind of skills do I want to learn? One that''s free or cheap; one that I won''t have to go to college for; one that lets me work from where ever; one I can use to start getting paid the moment I turn eighteen; one that will get me a job that pays enough for me to live off of. I think I''m talking about coding. If I learn to code I can do a lot of things with it. I''m still doing the spell on Noah, for funsies. The first day was to make him quit hassling me. Today is to punish him, at least more than Saturday detention. I''m so mad he got off with that because he''s a basketball player, I want to hit him again! So that energy is going into shaking the damn jar. The odds of this spell actually doing anything are microscopic, but it sure is a fun way for me to vent frustration! Days making my bed: 39 Days cleaning the kitchen: 3 Days hexing Noah: 2
Thursday, January 9, 2025 Suspension Day 3 The Prompt: What does success look like to me? I''m starting to get a vision of that. To me, success would look like living on my own terms and not worrying about money. I want that for me and Mom. I plan to achieve this by getting the best grades I can in high school even though I''m not planning to go to college. Plans change and I want to keep that door open. Somehow while I deal with high school and homework, I''m going to teach myself to code until I''m very, very good at it. That''s going to be an intense juggling act but nothing like the one Mom does every day. I''m trying to talk Mom into holding off on the car. She says she''ll think it through but she wants to have the option to go anywhere we need to go without relying on someone else. I see where my independent streak comes from! And I agree, I just want to move things along and get out of this rusty hellpit. Day three of working on the spell. Today is about Noah having a genuine attitude adjustment, if he''s got it in him. Days making my bed: 40 Days cleaning the kitchen: 4 Days hexing Noah: 3
Friday, December 10, 2025 Suspension Day 4 The Prompt: What do I need more of in my life? Peace! For goodness sake, everything in my life is so damn stressful! I probably have anxiety. Scratch that, I definitely have anxiety, I just haven''t been diagnosed by a doctor. And I cringe to think about Mom''s psychological issues. ''How to get peace'' is going to be another project. I''m looking into ''coding 101'' type online classes. Once I get an overview of what it''s going to take to learn to code I''ll work out my study schedule around my high school homework. The spell on Noah is done. The instructions say to put the jar in a sunny window until I see that it worked, then release him by dumping out the contents of the jar somewhere away from where I live, dry out the picture, and burn it. I''m not a pyro, but setting something on fire sounds fun. Days making my bed: 41 Days cleaning the kitchen: 5 Days hexing Noah: 4
Saturday, January 11, 2025 The Prompt: 3 short-term personal goals 1) Finish my homework on time and get a B or higher on all my tests. 2) Talk Mom into moving. I like this place less and less every day. 3) Be on track learning to code ¡ª whatever that''s going to entail. I''m looking into how to find peace, as cheesy as that sounds. There''s not a lot I can do about what''s going on in my life, but I can work on how I handle it. So I guess I''ll be trying things like yoga and meditation. Oh, and journal prompts for inner peace since I''m already journaling anyway. I''ve cleaned the kitchen six days in a row. I get a hit of dopamine every morning when I get my bowl of cereal and sit at the table I wiped down the night before. Of course, maintaining it when I go back to school is another matter. I''ve figured out that I should start learning to code with html. The problem is that there are so many apps, online classes, tutorials, and advice posts that I have no idea which to do. I haven''t even started coding and I''m already about to tear my hair out. Noah gets to join the Breakfast Club today. Or the Deadfast Club. Whichever. Days making my bed: 42 Days cleaning the kitchen: 6 Days hexing Noah: 5 But you lost them in your freedom Sunday, January 12, 2025 The Prompt: Am I a better person today than I was yesterday? What makes somebody a good person vs. a bad person? It''s pretty subjective. Besides, doesn''t everyone think they''re a good person even if they do craptacular things? This is deeply philosophical stuff that I don''t have the time or the bandwidth to ponder right now. Maybe I''ll do some research on it later so I have a better basis from which to form an opinion, but as I see it now it''s all made up anyway. I found a website that teaches the basics of all the coding lessons. It''s free, with a Plus version being $14.99 per month. I told Mom that I''m learning to code and she''s intrigued. I had to show her videos about what coding is and how to make money doing it. She says if I keep up with the free version for six months and want to go with the Plus version she''ll pay for it. But¡­ and of course there''s a but¡­ I have to keep my school grades up above a C. She sounded so much like an actual mom that I was proud of her. I know that sounds weird. Days making my bed: 43 Days cleaning the kitchen: 7 Days hexing Noah: 6 Days learning html: 1
Monday, January 13, 2025 The Prompt: Where do I want to be five years from now? I''ll have graduated from Hell and be bringing in enough income that between us ¡ª me and Mom ¡ª we can afford a place that''s safe to live and in good repair. If we''re frugal we''ll be able to afford to go on vacation out of the country. France and Italy, definitely. Mom''s mentioned that she''d love to see Paris so I''m going to try to make that happen for her. Going back to school was nerve wracking. I felt like everyone was either staring at me or trying not to. About Noah: Noah''s friends were being their usual selves, but not to me and he wasn''t with them. During lunch I got called into the guidance counselor''s office. Noah was there with his dad. Noah''s dad made him apologize to me, and told me that Noah would be doing volunteer work on the weekends when he didn''t have practice or a game, plus having to keep his grades up, or else no more basketball. Noah did seem contrite, as well as a little scared of his father''s wrath. I mean, yikes! I don''t know anything about fathers, but Noah''s Dad seems like a pretty good one. Days making my bed: 44 Days cleaning the kitchen: 8 Days hexing Noah: 7 Days learning html: 2
Tuesday, January 14, 2025 The Prompt: How do you handle criticism? That depends on it it''s constructive feedback or designed to tear me down. My knee-jerk reaction to constructive criticism is to seethe for a little while, until that''s out of my system and I have a clearer head to evaluate it with. I want to say I''m numb to the hateful kind of criticism ¡ª and I do try to be ¡ª but I''m not. It''s so frustrating that I have to deal with comments like that and there''s nothing I can do about it or I''ll be the one that''s in trouble. About Noah: Noah is catching a lot of flack from his so-called friends. They''re giving him shit for getting a black eye from a girl. Now he''s getting a taste of what I go through every day. I must say, it''s satisfying to watch. Of course I wonder if the spell is causing this. It''s looking more likely from a wishful-thinking perspective. I''m going to leave the jar in the kitchen window until Saturday, then dispose of it. Next week I''ll observe how Noah and his friends are getting along.This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there. Days making my bed: 45 Days cleaning the kitchen: 9 Days hexing Noah: 8 Days learning html: 3
Wednesday, January 15, 2025 The Prompt: What are the things you can control in your life? I used to think I had no control over anything at all. That was a surefire recipe for anxiety and depression. But I can control myself. I can control the decisions I make and the way I deal with things when life is a rancid Dumpster fire. And sometimes I can make things a little better for me and Mom. About Noah: According to gossip in the halls, locker room, and cafeteria, Noah was razzed by his friends the entire week I was gone, and it doesn''t look like it''s going to let up soon. His friends are also shutting him out of their usual conversations and highjinks. The other girls are glad he''s stopped hanging around with them and stopped being such an asshole. They say he''s ''cute'' and they''re more likely to date him now. I''ve never thought of that angle. Noah''s just Noah, and he''s always been a douche as far as I can tell. Now he''s acting like less of one and he''s leaving me alone, so I suppose he''s tolerable. Days making my bed: 46 Days cleaning the kitchen: 10 Days hexing Noah: 9 Days learning html: 4
Thursday, January 17, 2025 The Prompt: What''s a habit that you''re proud of developing? I''m working on three habits right now: making my bed every morning, cleaning the kitchen every evening, and studying html for at least a few minutes every day. But the real habit I''ve formed is making, tracking, and sticking to habits. About Noah: Noah''s so-called friends have turned on him completely. Coach Wilson makes them work as a team on the basketball court but he''s about to tear out what little hair he has left. Weirdly, his anger isn''t focused on Noah. It''s on Travis Windham. Travis has never done anything to me directly, but now that I think about it Chris, Matt, and Noah don''t cause trouble when they''re not with him. I think this bears further investigation. It was Matt, today during practice, that pushed Noah''s buttons. Matt was taunting Noah, calling him a pussy, scared of a girl, needs to grow a new pair, and things like that. Noah finally snapped and lunged at Matt, but one of the other jocks prevented the fight. Obviously Travis was there, because he''s also on the team, but no one is saying anything about him. I''ve never seen him directly involved in anything. He''s always just there. Days making my bed: 47 Days cleaning the kitchen: 11 Days hexing Noah: 10 Days learning html: 5
Friday, January 17, 2025 The Prompt: What are my current career goals, and am I on track to achieve them? I haven''t thought of learning to code as a career goal. It''s the best means to my desired end ¡ª making money to live on without sacrificing my entire damn life ¡ª as I can come up with at the moment. Right now I''m going doing one lesson a week so it doesn''t interfere with my school work. I''m trying to get all my grades as high as I can. When we have days off from school I''ll double down, and I''ll figure out something more intensive to do during the summer. Somebody got into my locker at some point late last week or early this week and left an open can of tuna in there. Thank goodness I don''t keep anything in it! The janitor found it and removed it but I had to have another talk with Mr. Thomas. He knows I didn''t do it and I''m not in trouble. He just wanted to know if I have any ideas who might have done it. I told him I didn''t. It might be Travis, Matt, and Chris ¡ª they''re the first to spring to mind ¡ª but it might not. I need to know for sure before I retaliate. About Noah: He''s completely quit talking to Travis, Chris, and Matt unless he has to on the basketball court. They still razz him, but not as much. I guess Coach Wilson made them tone it down. Days making my bed: 48 Days cleaning the kitchen: 12 Days hexing Noah: 11 Days learning html: 6
Saturday, January 18, 2025 The Prompt: How do you react when faced with unexpected challenges? I like to think I handle them pretty well. I have to, though, because Mom can''t. Is it fair? No, but for now this is the way it has to be. About Noah: I released Noah from the spell this morning. As per the instructions, I emptied the jar on the edge of the lot furthest from our trailer. Noah''s picture dried in the sun on the back step and was burned as soon as it was dry enough. Not that there was much of an image left after it sat in a jar of vinegar since last Tuesday. Now that I''m not actively hexing Noah I want to try another spell / experiment. I searched ''spell to catch a thief''. Wow, I got lots of results! But the one I''m going with is from the same website where I got the spell to deal with bullies. Days making my bed: 49 Days cleaning the kitchen: 13 Days learning html: 7 And where do all these highways go Sunday, January 19, 2025 The Prompt: What would your best friend say about you? Okay, here''s the thing. I don''t have friends, at all, much less a best friend. There were kids I played and hung out with when I was younger but I never felt any kind of attachment to them. As long as they were nice to me I''d be nice back. That''s as far as it ever went. And I''m fine with that. No, really, I am. There''s no sour grapes in this fruit salad. I don''t feel lonely, and the only way in which I feel isolated is that I keep having to handle things myself that I shouldn''t have to handle alone or at all. Speaking of handling things. This trailer is as drafty as a prostitute''s underwear. Mom and I are trying the bubble wrap trick to insulate the windows. Just make sure the inside of the window is clean, mist with water, and smooth on the bubble wrap bubble-side against the glass. It''s cheap, and if it works we''ll just save the bubble wrap to do it again next winter. Once the bubble wrap is done I''ll walk around the trailer with a lit candle; anywhere it flickers is drafty, and we''ll know to insulate that spot with old clothes or something. Days making my bed: 50 Days cleaning the kitchen: 14 Days studying html: 8
Monday, January 20, 2025 No School The Prompt: What was your childhood bedroom like? I shared a room with my mom in various temporary living situations for nearly the first decade of my life. I didn''t mind as much as Mom did, and she felt guilty because I didn''t have my own space. We finally got a two-bedroom apartment when I was nearly ten. For almost a year I''d play in my room but go to sleep in Mom''s just out of habit. When we moved into this trailer three years ago Mom made me take the ''master suite'' and she took the smaller bedroom. I''ve offered to switch with her since she gets up first and having an attached bathroom would be better for her, but she says it''s all fine the way it is. I completely forgot that today is MLK Jr. Day as well as the Inauguration. On the one hand, yay! An extra day to get caught up on my backlogged homework. But on the other hand I''m annoyed that I''ve lost a day to observe the Noah situation. To my mind, this is the week when I''ll be able to study the effects of the spell best. If it worked, releasing Noah from it should cause the friends-group to reunite ¡ª or at the very least cease hostilities. Days making my bed: 51 Days cleaning the kitchen: 15 Days studying html: 9
Tuesday, January 21, 2025 The Prompt: How would I rate my overall physical health? What improvements can I make? I assume I''m healthy. I get an annual free check-up ¡ª medical, dental, hearing, and vision ¡ª plus any vaccines. No one''s ever found any problems and I feel okay. I''m in the lower middle on the Presidential Physical Fitness test. Not nearly the best but certainly not the worst. I''ll have to give this question a deeper think when I don''t have so many other balls in the air. Today everyone at school was talking about the Inauguration and what Trump signed and all that. It sounds like a good old-fashioned clusterfuck to me, and it''s amusing to watch the debates raging in the halls. One non-binary kid who uses they/them pronouns got into it with another kid who was insisting they were invalid because ''the president said so.'' Naturally the non-binary kid had a few choice words about that. It barely stopped short of a physical altercation. About Noah: Travis, Matt, and Chris were more civil to him and wanted him to hang out. Noah declined. He''s hanging out with a couple other guys on the team and trying to catch the eye of one of the cheerleaders who wouldn''t have had anything to do with him when he was being a douche. Days making my bed: 52 Days cleaning the kitchen: 16 Days studying html: 9You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
Wednesday, January 25, 2025 The Prompt: Describe your morning routine. Boring. I wake up at 6:30, shower, dress, hair and makeup, spend a few minutes with Mom before the bus arrives, grab my bag, and go. On the bus I use an app to study html on my phone, slid down in the seat so I''m not even visible to the people behind me. When I get to the school I go straight to the cafeteria and eat whatever they''re serving as breakfast. Then homeroom, etc. I used my old locker mirror for the Thief Trap spell. First I cleaned it, then cleansed it according to the spell directions, used a sharpie to draw the symbol on the back while I said the words, then wrapped it in black cloth ¡ª an old t-shirt, actually. When I got to school I put it in my locker, being careful that I wasn''t reflected in it and no one else was either. Supposedly if someone gets into my locker their reflection will be trapped in the mirror and I''ll be able to see it. So I can tell if someone''s been in my locker I put a piece of masking tape over the gap between the space between my locker and the next, down low so no one will notice it. If my locker has been opened the tape will be torn or have come off. About Noah: He continues to more-or-less politely rebuff his so-called friends. Matt and Chris seem confused about how to handle this. Travis is getting pissed off. Days making my bed: 53 Days cleaning the kitchen: 17 Days studying html: 10
Thursday, January 23, 2025 The Prompt: What''s one challenge you''re ready to tackle? Magic, evidently¡­ When I got to school this morning the tape was undone and crumpled a bit. I opened the door ¡ª again careful not to capture my own reflection or anyone else''s in the mirror ¡ª and wrapped the mirror in the black t-shirt before looking to see what had been done. Someone put an air freshener in my locker. It stinks to the rafters of fake tropical smells and is just as putrid in its own way as the tuna. When I''d put the wrapped mirror in my bag I relocated the damn thing to the boys'' bathroom. About Noah: Chris and Matt talk to Noah in the halls and hang out with him when Travis isn''t present. When Travis with them they seem not to know what to do. Travis told Noah to lighten up; Noah told Travis to sodomize himself with a golf club. I''m strictly neutral in this situation but still. Damn. About the mirror: When I got home I shut the blinds over my bedroom windows, lit a candle, and whispered the ''reveal'' part of the spell as I unwrapped the mirror. And I nearly shit myself! I could see Sandra Johnson, one of the preppy cheerleaders, as she opened my locker and put the air freshener in there. She was giggling and talking to someone over her shoulder. Then the locker door shut. It was all as clear as a YouTube video. After I saw it there was a loud crack/crunch sound as the mirror broke. I jumped back and then just¡­ sat there. I''m going to need some time to get my head around this¡­ Days making my bed: 54 Days cleaning the kitchen: 18 Days studying html: 11
Friday, January 24, 2025 The Prompt: What brings you the most joy, and how can you do more of it this year? Joy may be a strong word, but I like cooking. I cook every Saturday, now, and make enough for at least one meal of leftovers. I suppose I could concentrate on healthier meals to offset the questionable stuff they feed me at school. I''ll look into that this weekend. About Noah: Matt and Chris are more on Noah''s side of the fence than Travis''. I know Travis is livid but he''s trying to be nice, use some persuasion. I don''t think he''s going to get anywhere but it''s fascinating to watch him flail. Meanwhile the other three are acting more like decent people and seem to be happier away from him. I''d have never realized how much Travis influenced them if I hadn''t hexed Noah. Now I''m watching Travis to see what he does next. I''m still trying to get my head around the idea that spells and stuff work. There''s been talk about weird stuff for the past couple of years, but most people lump it in with aliens and Big Foot. It would be easy to dive headlong down a rabbit hole trying to figure out what''s real and what''s not but I don''t know how to do that without becoming a conspiracy-theorist basket case. I can cast spells and observe if and how they work, though. Days making my bed: 55 Days cleaning the kitchen: 19 Days studying html: 12
Saturday, January 25, 2025 The Prompt: What causes or issues are you passionate about, and why are they important to you? I''ve never given it any thought. Over the past couple years I guess I have been thinking more about tenants'' rights and anti-bullying. I understand those because they''ve affected me directly. As far as I''m concerned, people who are assholes have automatically volunteered to be lab rats in my magical experiments. I''m putting Sandra aside for now. I''ll figure out a way to make sure she doesn''t mess with my locker any more but I have a more pressing focus. Since magic works I''m going to use it to get us out of this trailer park and into the nicer one that''s more ''mobile home community'' than meth haven. I had trouble wording my search to find a spell that precisely fits the need, but I came across a spell called Desperate Wish. That should definitely do it. Evidently you would have to be desperate to cast it. There''s even a warning and disclaimer on this one: something drastic and potentially dangerous will have to happen. Not just happen, but have to happen. It''s cast on the New Moon, peaks in intensity on the First Quarter Moon, and will come to fruition on the Full Moon. The New Moon is Wednesday, so I have time to get things together to cast it. Days making my bed: 56 Days cleaning the kitchen: 20 Days studying html: 13 Days until the New Moon: 4 Ah isnt it a pity? That you see your duty clearly Sunday, January 26, 2025 The Prompt: Do you consider yourself to be a positive person? Hmm. That''s a stinker. I don''t think I''m either negative or positive most of the time. It depends on the situation. I''ve been more positive this year. I guess I''m positive when there''s something I can do about a situation, neutral most of the time, and only negative when things are absolute shit and I''ve got no control whatsoever. And speaking of absolute shit: The car broke down again. Mom had to dip into our savings to get it fixed, if it even can be. That thing is at the mechanic more than it is in our parking area. Mom has to either get a ride from a coworker or use the taxi or Uber ¡ª both of which are costing even more money. This could work to my advantage, though. There''s a bus stop right in front of the mobile home community we want to move to. If we lived there we''d seldom even need a car. I''m going to bite my tongue, though. Mom and I have had this discussion before. She wants to move when she''s saved enough money for the new place, a new-to-us car that I can also use, and to start medical school. That''s if this car doesn''t eat our savings before we''ve packed a single box. Days making my bed: 57 Days cleaning the kitchen: 21 Days learning html: 14 Days until the new moon: 3
Monday, January 27, 2025 The Prompt: Are you living life on your own terms, or trying to live up to other people''s expectations? The only person I would even think about compromising the way I live my life for is Mom, and she wouldn''t ask me to. About Travis: He''s given up on trying to get Noah back, and now his other friends are drifting away from him. He''s seething, and he doesn''t know how to handle this situation. He''s no good without people to influence. Nothing untoward in my locker today. I put a new piece of tape on the door so I can tell if it''s been opened without opening it myself. I really hope people learn to leave my locker the hell alone; this backpack is fucking heavy with all my books in it. I''m tempted to find a carry-on suitcase with wheels so I won''t have a permanent slump from the weight of carrying everything. I bet the principal wouldn''t allow it, though. The car is still in the shop. I bet they haven''t even gotten around to it yet. Mom got a ride to work this morning, and I was able to get her to eat something besides a Poptart and coffee before she left. No wonder she''s tired all the time. She works two jobs and her nutrition is awful. Days making my bed: 58 Days cleaning the kitchen: 22 Days studying html: 14 Days until the new moon: 2
Tuesday, January 28, 2025 The Prompt: Do you feel overwhelmed a lot? I''m getting there. High school is stressful, and there are times I want to drop out and get my GED. I''m sticking it out so Mom can watch me receive my diploma. So I guess I am compromising something but it''s my choice. Living in the trailer park is stressful. I''m getting tired of flashing blue lights waking me up in the middle of the damn night. Trying to learn to code on my own and be an adult at sixteen is starting to get to me, too. Okay, that''s way more stress than I''ve been figuring. Sandra made another go at my locker. This time I caught her in the act and was able to creep up behind her as she was hanging one of those pine tree car air fresheners from a hook. I asked, "What''cha doin''?" and she about jumped out of her boots! I just stared at her as she was trying to come up with a valid reason to be at my locker, not blinking. I wanted to unnerve her without threatening her or laying a hand on her and evidently it worked. When she started to edge from between me and my locker I said "Leave. My locker. Alone." All she said was "Whatever." That was fun. The car is still in the shop. Days making my bed: 59 Days cleaning the kitchen: 23 Days studying html: 15 Days until the new moon: 1
Wednesday, January 29, 2025If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. The Prompt: Overall, do you consider yourself to be happy? That''s another stinker. I''m not sure what happy is, outside of not being annoyed or frustrated. By that definition no, I''m not happy most of the time. About Travis: Nothing new. He continues to stew in the mess he made for himself. That does kind of make me happy. I like it when assholes have to deal with the consequences of being assholes. The car is finished. Mom picked it up between her job at the store and her job at the diner. The repair bill literally made her throw up. She''s on the edge of admitting that it''s time to sell the damn thing for parts. It''s the new moon, and I cast the spell. This one was more persnickety than the other ones. I had to do it ''skyclad'' and offer blood. I did the spell in my bathroom so Mom wouldn''t walk in and freak out. I used a safety pin to get three drops of blood from my ''wedding finger'' ¡ª not that there''s ever going to be a wedding; I''d rather eat broken glass. Now to wait, and ''speak not of it'' until after it''s manifested. I''m supposed to see signs it''s happening, which will come to a peak February 5 and be done February 12. Days making my bed: 60 Days cleaning the kitchen: 24 Days learning html: 16 Days until the first quarter moon: 7
Thursday, January 30, 2025 The Prompt: What do you fear most about the future? Getting stuck in the same rut my mom is in: working two jobs, living in a dangerous situation, driving a car that should have been put out of my misery over a year ago. I don''t want this for me or for Mom. I''m doing everything I can to get us out of the situation, and to never fall into it myself. School was boring today. No antics from Travis or his former friends, nothing happening to my locker. No fights, no one caught getting it on in the janitor''s closet or with drugs in their locker. Boring is good. Boring means I can focus on school work and not be jumping at every little noise. I don''t like boring. I''m fighting the urge to stir a pot or two. I can do that and no one would even think I was involved. Does that make me like Travis? Anyway, I''m not going to do it. I need to focus on the spell that''s already in the works and be ready to act when it does manifest. Moving will be easier after I go through my closet. It''s stuffed to the point I can''t get to anything without a fight. How do I even have so many clothes? Days making my bed: 61 Days cleaning the kitchen: 25 Days studying html: 17 Days until the first quarter moon: 6
Friday, January 31, 2025 January in Review Habits: I''ve stayed on top of making my bed for two months. When I reach ninety days I started cleaning the kitchen every night to circumvent the bad habit of leaving a mess after I cook. Obviously on nights I cook it''s worse but doing it every day is making it automatic. And I''ve begun studying html daily, and more so on the weekends. Homework: I fell behind when I was suspended for a week at the beginning of the month and it took me a while to catch up while staying on top of all the new homework that came in. This caused my grades to drop a little. I''m current now and my grades are heading back up. If they don''t get back up by the 14th I''ll ask for extra credit. School: Wow, school this month has been wild. 1a) I hit Noah because he put hands on me 1b) I got suspended for hitting Noah 1c) I discovered and cast a spell without thinking it would really work, 1d) I observed the spell unfoldings and 2a) Somebody put an open can of tuna in my locker 2b) I cast a spell to find out who has been pranking my locker 2c) It worked (!) revealing Sandra as the culprit 2d) I waited and watched until I actually caught Sandra in the act I''m less bothered by harassment now. Noah, Matt, and Chris have given up being jerks in general, Travis doesn''t have any balls of his own, and I think Sandra''s scared of me. This is all to the good. Home: Mom and I have been gradually doing the repairs that maintenance should have done months ago. The neighbors are continuing their streak of drugs, alcohol abuse, and violence. The police were here last twice last night. The car broke down and the cost to fix it has gone up to a point we can''t keep paying that. Mom is finally looking at getting another vehicle but it took a real punch to the budget to get her to do it. Self-Education: I''m taking html slowly because I don''t want it to interfere with my school work. I''ve begun enjoying doing it on an app while I''m on the school bus because it helps me block out what everyone else is doing behind me. I''ve tried a new recipe every week this month and learn new skills every time. I''ve got a whole lot of things I''m eager to try. Magic: Well, this is a category I never thought I''d be adding! I''ve used magic four times this month; once to deal with Noah, once to find out who was messing with my locker, once to cast the Desperate Wish spell. I''m not studying magic, exactly, but I''m casting spells and observing if/how they work as scientifically as I can. The Desperate Wish spell: I should be seeing signs it''s starting to work. At least, according to the instructions. Maybe I just don''t know what to watch for. The only thing I''ve noticed is a mild increase in the same thing that happens every day. Days making my bed: 62 Days cleaning the kitchen: 26 Days studying html: 18 Days until the first quarter moon: 5
Saturday, February 1, 2025 Goals for the Month Homework: Get my grades to A''s and B''s School: Stay out of trouble Home: Bake a loaf of bread Magic: Observe the Desperate Wish spell in action and be ready to act when it''s done its thing Mom didn''t want to leave me home alone today because she doesn''t think it''s safe. I went to the library until it closed then to the mall. Mom gave me money to get dinner and told me to stay in the food court. I did my homework and only got up to go to the bathroom. Mom came and got me after work at the diner, just as the mall was about to close. Overall it sucked, but maybe this is the Desperate Wish starting to work. The car is already making funny noises again. I''m surprised every time we don''t break down in the middle of the road. Mom''s decided to go through her closet, too. Since we''re close enough to the same size we dumped everything but our socks and underwear together and ''shopped'' the pile using a minimalist wardrobe list. Now we''ve got exactly what we need and space in our closets. Anything that didn''t make the cut is going to the donation box Monday. Days making my bed: 63 Days cleaning the kitchen: 27 Days studying html: 19 Days until the first quarter moon: 4 I have tried in my way to be free. Sunday, February 2, 2025 The Prompt: What do I want my legacy to be? A few less bullies in the world. No, I''m not going to go around killing people just for being assholes. I just want to teach them to behave better. It''s done wonders for Noah, Matt, and Chris. I''m just waiting to see what Travis does. Mom asked if she could start sleeping in my room at night, where we can barricade ourselves in and still have access to a bathroom. She''s scared. She promised to put in the application for the other trailer park tomorrow, as well as the deposit in cash, but there''s only one empty trailer and someone may beat us to it. The owners also have to check Mom''s criminal record and credit score ¡ª something our current landlord should be doing, but he probably wouldn''t pass it himself. If this deal falls through we''ll try to get an apartment in town. In the meantime I''m spending my days after school and on weekends at the library and the mall because Mom doesn''t want to leave me here alone any more. Days making my bed: 64 Days cleaning the kitchen: 28 Days studying html: 20 Days until the first quarter moon: 3
Monday, February 3, 2025 The Prompt: How do I cope with stress or overwhelming emotions? I don''t get overwhelming emotions often, and when I do it''s usually related to something that''s stressing me out. Generally, I''m learning to find the source of my stress and deal with it directly. I don''t sit around ''in my feels'' about things. Speaking of stress, it''s now the countdown to Valentines Day. The band is selling small boxes of chocolate and the Booster Club is selling carnations. (I guess roses wilt too fast.) The school newspaper is publishing anonymous love notes and poems ¡ª approved by the advisor, of course, but I still expect all kinds of drama to come of that. I have enough money to buy a box of chocolates and a carnation for Mom. She deserves a treat after everything she''s been through. Days making my bed: 65 Days cleaning the kitchen: 29 Days studying html: 21 Days until the first quarter moon: 2
Tuesday, February 4, 2025 The Prompt: How do I feel about my relationship with others? I''m frustrated with being bullied at school, though that''s pretty much dried up lately. Sandra and her friends talk shit about me for being ''trailer trash'' but not to my face. Right now I''m ignoring it. Mostly I''m content to leave alone and be left alone. I don''t need to have ''relationships'' with people. Mom and I slept together in my room last night using my desk to block the door. There was a lot of yelling and breaking glass outside. We just hoped it wasn''t our car windows. (It wasn''t.) There was even more yelling when the cops arrived, and I''m pretty sure somebody got arrested. When I went outside to catch the bus there was a lot of broken bottles laying around and some blood on the snow. Looks like somebody''s going to need stitches at the very least. Tomorrow''s the day. Whatever is going to happen better happen, because it''s not safe to live here.If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. Days making my bed: 66 Days cleaning the kitchen: 30 Days studying html: 22 Days until the first quarter moon: 1
Wednesday, February 5, 2025 Today was so wild. I went to the library after school, did my homework, and read a book until Mom could come to get me. We went home so Mom could change clothes. As we were getting out of the car four guys came towards us, and they were ''not right'' at all. One of them edged beween us and the car. The other three were blocking our way to the trailer. They wanted Mom''s purse and to have a ''good time'' with us. Mom and I tussled because she was clutching at me and I was trying to grab a broken bottle off the ground to use as a weapon. I had to settle for using my backpack as a shield. Just as I thought we were screwed ¡ª maybe literally ¡ª a cop car pulled up. The guys got antagonistic with the cops and we made a beeline for the trailer. We threw clothes and toiletries into a bag, went out the back door, and got to the car. One of the cops wanted to talk to us, but Mom said no and they let us go. Now we''re at a motel. Mom called the diner and let them know she''s going to be late but she did go in to work. I''ve got the motel room door locked and I''m working my way down out of the biggest adrenaline rush of my life so far. I''m pretty sure this happened because of the spell. Now I know why it''s called Desperate Wish and came with a warning! I won''t be in a hurry to cast that again! Holy shit! But at least we''re out of the trailer and Mom says we''re not going back, no matter what. Days making my bed: 67 Days cleaning the kitchen: ¡ª Days studying html: 23 Days until the full moon: 7
Thursday, February 6, 2025 The Prompt: Name one thing that''s going really well for you right now. Is this a joke? I feel like this is a joke, and a tacky one at that. When Mom dropped me off at school this morning she told me not to tell anyone what happened, and if the cops try to talk to me I''m not to say anything until I call her and she gets there. I don''t believe this is real. There''s no way we should be having this kind of conversation. But school was normal. I got through the day just fine and Mom picked me up after. At least I don''t have to ride the bus. Mom''s manager at the diner stepped up. She and a couple guy-friends of hers went with Mom back to the trailer, loaded everything we own in under thirty minutes, and stowed it in a storage unit. One of the guys even told the landlord that Mom and I had moved out, so Mom didn''t have to face him herself. I don''t remember anyone ever doing anything nice for us. Not since I was really little, anyway. So, we''re basically homeless now. Days making my bed: 68 Days cleaning the kitchen: ¡ª Days studying html: 24 Days until the full moon: 6
Friday, February 27, 2025 The Prompt: Who do you go to for advice? Nobody. I can''t ask Mom anything deeper than ''Does this color look good on me?'' She doesn''t know, either. Honestly, I wouldn''t know how to talk to anyone even if I had someone that I wanted to talk to, which I don''t. I just have to do the best I can on my own. Speaking of not talking, I''ve decided not to say anything to Mom about casting spells and researching witchcraft. She''s pretty tightly wound right now and might not take it too well, especially seeing as how she was raised in a Christian-ish cult. I make sure my search history is clear and jumble this notebook in with the ones from school, even though Mom doesn''t snoop through my stuff. I don''t want her to find out by accident and freak out. I have no idea what might push her completely over the edge and I don''t want it to be that. Days making my bed: 69 Days cleaning the kitchen: ¡ª Days studying html: 25 Days until the full moon: 5
Saturday, February 8, 2025 The Prompt: When do you feel the most rested? This is going to sound weird, but I''ve slept better in this hotel room than I ever did in my own bed at the trailer. The motel is in a relatively safe, quiet part of town. There''s no yelling, no breaking glass, no cops. Mom jams the desk chair under the door when we go to bed and won''t let me leave the room after dark, but that''s just to be safe. She''s still anxious because we don''t have a permanent home, and how much money the motel room and storage unit are costing us, but at least she''s not that worried about our safety. And I won''t have to spend all day at the mall tomorrow. I did spend this morning at the library, because I wanted to. They have a pretty good occult section. Most of the books are about Wicca, but there are a few with a more secular slant. I don''t check them out, though. I read them at the library with a magazine in front to hide the title. I''m not embarrassed or afraid of what anyone will think of me. I just like my privacy. Days making my bed: 30 Days cleaning the kitchen: ¡ª Days studying html: 26 Days until the full moon: 4